material from the ,google ,books project47 ,transcriber's ,notes3 ,words in italics in the original are surrounded with underscores4 ,words in mixed case small caps are in capital letters4 ,a row of asterisks represents a thought break4 ,a complete list of corrections and other notes follows the text4 ,,letters ,,to ,,persons ,,who ,,are ,,engaged ,,in ,,domestic ,,service4 ,,by ,,miss ,,catherine ,e4 ,,beecher4 ,,new ,,york3 ,,published ,,by ,,leavitt ,,trow1 #aid ,broadway4 ,,mdcccxlii4 ,entered according to ,act of ,congress1 in the year #ahdb1 by ,,john ,f4 ,,trow1 in the ,clerk's ,office of the ,district ,court of the ,southern ,district of ,new-,york4 ,university ,press3 ,,john ,f4 ,,trow1 ,,printer1 #aad ,nassau-street1 ,new-,york4 ,,to ,,american ,,ladies4 ,my ,countrywomen3 ,will you aid me in an attempt to benefit a most useful1 a most important1 and yet a much neglected portion of our fellow citizens8 ,i can accomplish little without your aid2 with it1 ,i trust much may be done4 ,have you ever heard any instructions from the pulpit addressed to the class for whom ,i now write8 ,have you ever read a printed sermon1 or a tract suited and designed to instruct ,americans of this class1 on the topics presented in this book8 ,have you not felt how important it is that this class1 who have so much influence on domestic enjoyment1 and on the character of children1 should be properly instructed in the duties of their station1 and yet how difficult it is to address them acceptably1 or to find books that answer for this purpose8 ,these things have been urged on my attention by benevolent ladies1 who have felt these difficulties1 and who complain that1 while those they hire can find books enough which treat on the duties of their employers1 they seldom find instructions in regard to the peculiar duties of their own station4 ,i have made an attempt to remedy this deficiency1 so far as my ability extends4 ,but a great difficulty meets me4 ,the persons for whom ,i write1 have few opportunities to know what issues from the press1 and seldom buy books4 ,it is others1 who1 from a spirit of philanthropy and benevolence1 must procure such advantages for them1 or they will seldom be secured4 ,i would therefore appeal to all benevolent and ,christian ladies1 whose eye may rest on this page1 and ask if each will not secure the reading of this book to at least one of those for whom it is written4 ,if housekeepers will supply those they hire1 if travellers and visitors will use this1 to present as a token of good will to those who serve them1 where they temporarily sojourn1 if on ,new-,years and ,christmas1 this may be remembered as a suitable present to those who do so much to aid on festive occasions1 then1 if this book is fit for the end designed1 there will be many who will be joined1 in the best of all fellowship1 with their friend and countrywoman1 ,the ,author4 ,,contents4 ,,letter ,i4 ,,page ,the station of domestics important1 respectable1 and advantageous to themselves4 ,a story to illustrate the state of things in this country #i ,,letter ,,ii4 ,a conversation between the clergyman and a domestic #bg ,,letter ,,iii4 ,difficulties experienced by the shipwrecked company1 and how these were remedied #cf ,,letter ,,iv4 ,the manner in which this story illustrates the state of things in this country #dc ,,letter ,v4 ,reasons for regarding the station of a domestic as honourable and respectable #ea ,,letter ,,vi4 ,the reasons why the station of a domestic is not regarded as so honourable as it really is #fb ,,letter ,,vii4 ,reasons why the station of a domestic is a desirable one1 and superior to that of a sempstress1 a shop girl1 or a factory girl #fi ,,letter ,,viii4 ,the importance of raising the respectability of the station of a domestic1 in public estimation1 and the mode by which it can be done #gh ,,letter ,,ix4 ,on the duties of subordination4 ,rules of the ,bible4 ,respectful manners the mark of a lady #ia ,,letter ,x4 ,on ,visiting1 ,company1 and ,religious ,meetings4 ,on going out1 and having company4 ,religious ,meetings4 ,a story to illustrate #aaj ,,letter ,,xi4 ,importance of health to domestics4 ,modes by which they injure health #abf ,,letter ,,xii4 ,on ,dress1 ,manners and ,language4--,dress should be conformed to means and to occupations4 ,rules of good manners #adb ,,letter ,,xiii4 ,trials of domestics and remedy for these trials4 ,fault-finding4 ,want of comforts and conveniences1 c4 #aec ,,letter ,,xiv4 ,on ,economy4--,economy a duty to all4 ,modes of economizing #agb ,,letter ,,xv4 ,on the ,care of ,children4--,patience very needful4 ,offering rewards4 ,never shame children for their faults4 ,never deceive them4 ,set an example of honesty and modesty #ahj ,,letter ,,xvi4 ,on ,cooking #aic ,,letter ,,xvii4 ,on setting tables4 ,washing and ironing1 and other house work #bac ,,letter ,,xviii4 ,the ,way to be ,happy #bbh ,,letters ,,to ,persons engaged in ,domestic ,service4 ,,letter ,i4 ,the station of domestics important1 respectable1 and advantageous to themselves4 ,a story to illustrate the state of things in this country4 ,my ,friends3 ,i have travelled a good deal in various parts of this country1 and by visiting in a large number of families1 ,i have been led to feel a great interest in the welfare of persons in your situation4 ,and as my friends think that ,i could write something which might be useful and interesting to you1 ,i have concluded to try1 and have1 therefore1 prepared this small volume for your use4 ,i trust you will find1 that ,i have1 at least1 one good qualification for writing a book for you1 and that is1 a real interest in those ,i address1 and a sincere desire to do all ,i can to promote their usefulness and happiness4 ,i think that much of the trouble felt by persons in your situation of life1 would be very much lessened1 if a right view were taken of the respectability1 usefulness1 and advantages of the station you occupy4 ,i do not think you are aware either of the good you can do to others1 or of the benefits you may receive yourselves1 in your employment4 ,and ,i do not think you understand the real respectability which belongs to your situation4 ,i therefore wish to give you some views on these points1 that ,i hope may tend to make you more useful1 and more contented with your lot4 ,this ,i think ,i can do in the most agreeable way by relating the following tale4 ,a ,story4 ,once there was a ship which sailed with a large company on board4 ,there were the captain1 the officers1 and the sailors1 and a company of soldiers4 ,there was also a large number of gentlemen and ladies1 and there were several families of children1 returning from school to their parents1 with the persons who had the care of them4 ,there was also a number of servants to the gentlemen and ladies4 ,after they had been some time at sea1 a dreadful storm came on1 the ship sprung a leak1 they all got into the ship's boats1 and then she sunk to the bottom with all their possessions4 ,after a great deal of trouble1 their boats succeeded in all reaching a neighbouring1 unknown shore4 ,their misfortunes soon reached the ears of the king of that country1 who was a very generous and kind man4 ,his dominions had just been desolated by a pestilence1 which in some cases had swept off whole families4 ,the king had all these strangers conveyed to a large estate whose owner1 with all his family1 had perished in the pestilence4 ,on this estate was a large and magnificent palace1 with gardens1 and orchards1 and parks1 and a great extent of fields for cultivation4 ,within the palace were fine furniture1 and rich clothing1 and a great quantity of food of all kinds4 ,the out-houses1 also1 were supplied with fine horses and beautiful carriages4 ,all this estate1 with its palace and treasures1 was given to these strangers1 on two conditions2 the first was1 that they should never have any kind of intercourse with the people of the land1 but take care of themselves and do all their own work4 ,the second was1 that all the company should consider and treat each other as 8free and equal40 ,children and servants1 soldiers and sailors1 were to have the same right to every thing in the palace1 as any one else had1 and no person was to be superior in rights to another1 in any respect whatever4 ,all were 8free and equal20 all were equally entitled to 8life1 liberty and the pursuit of happiness10 in any way each thought best for himself4 ,on these two conditions1 this company took possession of this noble estate1 and all its treasures4 ,immediately on entering the palace1 they commenced ransacking the whole establishment1 and every one was trying to get the best of every thing4 ,all wanted the pleasantest rooms1 and the handsomest clothes1 and the best articles of food4 ,each person claimed that he had as good a right to the best of every thing as any one else1 and no one was willing to give up his rights4 ,the children liked to use the nicest china and cut glass to play with1 and the cakes and sweetmeats for their food2 the servants liked the silks and satins for dress1 and the sailors and soldiers liked the fine parlours with their light carpets and silk curtains and sofas1 to smoke and eat in4 ,and if any of the company tried to control them1 insult and abuse were showered down1 for thus taking away the rights and liberties of others4 ,very soon quarrels began1 and these grew worse and worse1 until they came to blows1 and there was constant fighting for every thing4 ,the result was this2 the servants1 the soldiers and the sailors were the strongest1 and so they got possession of the best of every thing4 ,the richest clothing1 the finest rooms1 and the best food were all taken by them4 ,the captain1 officers and gentlemen were the next strongest1 and they got the next best4 ,the women and children were the weakest1 and so they were obliged to put up with the poorest of every thing4 ,but after they had thus divided their possessions1 the question then was1 who should do the work8 ,all wanted to sit in the parlours1 and walk in the gardens1 and eat their meals1 and ride in their carriages2 but nobody wanted to cook1 or wash1 or sweep1 or plough1 or take care of horses4 ,and yet all this work must be done1 or they would be destitute of the necessaries and comforts of life4 ,at first1 the strongest tried to force the weakest to work for them1 and for a while1 it seemed as if the poor women and children1 who had little strength to resist1 would be made slaves to the strong4 ,but they declared that nobody had a right to make them work1 and that they would go with their complaints to the king1 if their rights were thus invaded4 ,thus matters went on1 till all the carpets were covered with filth1 all the dishes were dirty1 all the clothing was soiled and torn1 and every thing about the estate was fast going to destruction4 ,meantime the soldiers1 sailors and servants1 who had the most strength1 were constantly domineering over the others1 and quarrelling and fighting among themselves4 ,the children were beaten and abused1 the ladies insulted1 and all kinds of oppression practised4 ,there was universal contention1 fear1 distress and ill will4 ,all the decent and well meaning persons declared1 that they would gladly exchange this palace for a hovel1 with nothing but potatoes to eat1 and straw to sleep on1 if they could thus gain quiet and peace4 ,in this company was a venerable old clergyman1 with white locks1 a benevolent countenance1 and kind and pleasant manners4 ,soon after the scenes of riot and abuse commenced1 he retired to a hay loft for refuge2 and here he was often visited for counsel and sympathy1 by the suffering and sorrowful4 ,one day a pale and sweet looking lady came to him1 in great distress4 ,her little ,ellen1 her beautiful and only child1 was sick4 ,she told the minister she could not get a comfortable bed1 nor a quiet room1 that her servant whom she had hired to wait on her during the voyage would do nothing to help her1 that she had watched by her child day and night till her strength was all gone1 that when she tried to prepare suitable food for herself and her sick child1 some rude sailor or soldier would come along and snatch it away1 that she was sick1 hopeless and exhausted1 and that she and her child must perish for want of rest and food1 unless she could get some pity and help4 ,this good minister had long been hoping that a time would arrive1 when the whole company would be brought1 by their own wants and the sufferings of all around them1 to feel that they must adopt another course1 and he now thought the time had probably come4 ,by the aid of several of his friends1 he succeeded in getting the whole company together4 ,he then recounted to them all the blessings and comforts that had been bestowed on them by the benevolent king4 ,he pointed out the waste1 destruction1 and misery that had followed1 and painted in tender and plaintive tones1 the suffering and sorrow that had come upon the weak and helpless4 ,he described the angry and revengeful passions that had distracted those1 who had by fighting gained the best of every thing1 and showed them that all they had gained had never given them any peace or happiness4 ,he then pointed out the evils that were threatening them for the future4 ,their granary was fast running low1 and yet nothing was done towards raising another crop4 ,their furniture and clothing were fast going to destruction1 and yet nothing was done to repair the waste1 or to provide a new supply4 ,he told them that famine and want of all kinds were now at hand1 and they must make up their minds what was to be done4 ,they were all greatly moved by his wisdom and eloquence1 and with one consent agreed to do whatever he would recommend4 ,he then took a ,bible out of his pocket1 and told them that the ,god who made them1 wished all his creatures to be happy1 that he alone knew what was best for them1 and that in that blessed book he had revealed the rules to guide them in all circumstances4 ,he then proposed that for the six months to come1 until a harvest could be gathered in1 they should agree to take the rules which ,god had given them for their guide4 ,to this all consented1 and they then appointed the minister to study the ,bible for them1 and to point out in all emergencies what were its rules4 ,the minister consented to do this4 ,he then advised them1 first to cleanse the palace1 its furniture and their clothing1 and to put all things1 as nearly as possible1 in the order in which they first found them4 ,they followed this advice1 and1 when all was accomplished1 came together again for farther directions4 ,then the minister told them1 that ,god required all his creatures1 when living together1 to act1 not to gain all the good things that each one wanted1 but to do that which was for the greatest good of the whole4 ,he then read from the ,bible all the passages he had collected1 in which this grand principle was taught4 ,he then asked them1 if they would agree to take the following rule for their guide in deciding all questions of property1 of labour1 and of rights and privileges1 viz4 that every one shall do that which will secure the most comfort1 convenience and enjoyment to the whole company4 ,this they all consented should be the rule to guide them in every thing4 ,the minister then told them that the first thing they must do was to provide the food and comforts necessary to life and health4 ,for this purpose1 some must plough and sow and work1 day after day1 in the fields4 ,now it was best for all the company that the strongest and healthiest should do this1 for if the delicate and weak undertook it1 instead of providing food by their labour1 they would all become sick1 and have to be nursed and waited upon by the rest4 ,for this reason it was decided1 that the men should do the out-door work1 and that the women and children should do the lighter work in the house4 ,the minister then pointed out the fact1 that the king had given them a noble palace with every variety of furniture and clothing4 ,but in the palace were some very beautiful rooms and some very plain ones2 some of the furniture was costly and elegant1 and some was very common2 some of the clothing was of the most delicate light silks and muslins1 and some was strong1 dark1 and fitted for hard service4 ,now it was manifest that those who did the hardest and dirtiest work1 needed the stoutest and darkest clothes1 and that if any body wore the delicate muslins and silks1 it should be those whose employments would least injure them4 ,in regard to a choice of rooms too1 it was best and most convenient1 that those who did the dirty work should inhabit the rooms most convenient to their work1 and those furnished so that they would be least injured by the use of persons whose feet and clothing were often soiled by their work4 ,the most elegantly furnished rooms were those most easily soiled and injured1 and therefore the general good required1 that they should be occupied by those whose work and dress would least injure them4 ,he showed them1 that1 if instead of this arrangement1 the persons who did the hardest and most soiling work1 should use the finest clothing and nicest rooms1 very soon their clothing and furniture would be gone1 and the company would be obliged to work to make more4 ,as a matter of convenience and economy1 therefore1 he inquired whether it was not for the general good1 that those who did the hardest work should take the plainest apartments and the strongest clothing4 ,this all decided would be best1 and yet1 some said that it seemed hard1 that those who had to do the least agreeable work1 should have the least agreeable rooms and the plainest clothing too4 ,but they all concluded that it never would do to wash dishes and cook and plough and dig1 in muslin and satin dresses2 and so they concluded that the arrangement which would make their clothes and furniture last the longest should be adopted4 ,but then the question came up1 ,how shall we decide who shall do the harvest work1 and wear the plainest clothing1 and take the least agreeable rooms8 ,in this dilemma1 the minister recommended that they should appeal to ,god1 who was the wisest ,being1 and a ,just and ,holy ,judge4 ,he told them the way to appeal to ,god was1 by casting lots4 ,to this all agreed1 and so when the lots were prepared1 the company all stood up and uncovered their heads1 while the minister then called upon ,god4 8,oh ,thou1 who art our ,father1 our ,judge and our ,king1 decide for us by these lots1 what our portions shall be1 and when thou hast thus decided1 incline our hearts to submit to thy will1 and with patience and cheerfulness1 to perform the duties of the station in which we are placed40 ,after this prayer they all drew their lots to decide their employments1 and then took the clothing1 rooms and conveniences1 as they had before decided1 would be for the good of all4 ,the minister then pointed out the necessity of having overseers to each kind of work1 who should direct and superintend others4 ,he described the waste1 confusion and trouble that would follow1 if every one went to work on the farm where he pleased1 and did his work in any way he pleased4 ,and so in the housekeeping1 he showed what discomfort and confusion would follow1 if each one did her work at any time1 or in any manner she liked1 with no system or order1 and with no one to plan or direct4 ,it was then concluded1 that it was for the general good1 that each kind of work should have an overseer1 and that the overseers should spend their whole time in planning and directing others about their work1 while the rest should obey their directions4 ,some seemed to think that it was rather hard1 that some should have nothing to do but go about and see that other people kept at work1 but after some talk1 they all concluded that the work never would be done properly any other way1 and so they consented that this arrangement should be made4 ,then came up the question1 who should be the workers and who the overseers4 ,on talking this over it was agreed1 that those who knew the most1 should be appointed to direct the rest4 ,accordingly the best cook was made overseer of the cooking1 the best gardener overseer of the garden1 and thus in every kind of work1 the one who understood the most about it1 was appointed to direct the rest4 ,it was then proposed1 that as there would be sickness among the people1 there should be some men selected to read and study about the diseases of the country1 who should attend upon the sick1 to see that they were properly nursed4 ,it was also decided1 that those who were best qualified to teach and govern the children1 should take charge of them1 and spend their time in teaching them4 ,the minister then told them1 that though now1 after so much suffering for want of order1 industry1 and harmony1 they were all willing to do as they had agreed1 yet when they came to go to work1 many would become discontented1 and would not submit to these regulations4 ,they would then declare that the king gave them this estate1 on condition that all should be free and equal1 that this rule was not obeyed1 for that some lived without doing any hard work1 and had the best rooms and the best clothes and ruled over others4 ,they would then declare1 that they would not submit to it1 and would take the rooms and clothes given to others1 and neglect their work4 ,then others would follow their example1 and soon every thing would go back to the confusion and misery they had been experiencing4 ,he told them also1 that there were many cases which would arise1 when they would need more particular rules than any yet agreed on4 ,after talking over this matter1 they finally agreed to this plan4 ,they chose out from among the company some of the best and wisest men1 whose business it should be to make all the rules necessary in any emergency1 and all these rules were to be written down1 so that all could read them4 ,these men also were to decide what punishment should be inflicted on any who violated these rules4 ,they then appointed another set of men who were to be judges1 when any one was accused of breaking these rules1 to decide whether they deserved punishment4 ,another set of men were appointed as officers of justice1 to see that these penalties were inflicted4 ,after this1 the whole company requested the good minister to spend his time in going around to all parts of the estate1 to talk with every body1 and to use all his persuasion and influence to lead all to be contented1 industrious and obedient to the rules4 ,when these arrangements were made1 all went to work harmoniously and cheerfully4 ,the fields were tilled and reaped1 the food was cooked1 the clothes were washed1 ironed and mended1 the rooms and furniture were kept clean and in order1 and every thing went on pleasantly4 ,those who had the best rooms and clothes and the easiest work1 tried to make it pleasant and comfortable to those who did the work4 ,they felt that they had the best of every thing1 not because they were better than the others1 but because it was for the general good of all4 ,and those who did the work1 and had the least agreeable accommodations1 felt that it was ,god who appointed their lot1 and that it was as proper for them to be there as for any of the rest4 ,and they all felt so pleased and thankful for having escaped from such scenes of misrule and misery1 that every one was content with his lot4 ,they felt that by submitting to rules that were made for the good of all1 each one had his own situation made more comfortable than it could be by any other method4 ,and so they went on1 day after day1 in comfort and peace4 ,,letter ,,ii4 ,a conversation between the clergyman and a domestic4 ,my ,friends3 ,in my former letter ,i told you how the good minister succeeded in persuading the shipwrecked company to adopt the rules given in the ,bible1 and the comfort and prosperity that followed this course4 ,i also told you that the minister was requested by the company to spend all his time in visiting every part of the estate1 to converse with all who were disposed to be discontented1 or indolent1 or unsubmissive to the rules4 ,i will now tell you a little about the way this good man managed to promote peace1 contentment1 and industry4 ,in the first place they all agreed to come together one day each week to hear the minister explain those rules in the ,bible that taught them the duties they owed to ,god1 to themselves and to their neighbours4 ,many of them had never been properly instructed in their duties1 and were entirely ignorant of the ,bible4 ,so1 on these days of meeting1 he used to spend a part of the time in reading portions of the ,bible and in proving its ,divine authority4 ,he told them when it was written1 and how it was collected and preserved1 and how it was safely and correctly transmitted to them4 ,he showed them too1 that it contained not only rules for making them happy in this world1 but that it taught them that they were to live forever after their bodies died1 and that their eternal happiness depended on the character and habits they formed in this short life4 ,he described the character they must form in order to be happy in the eternal world1 and painted all the happiness that would follow to those who formed such a character1 and the dreadful miseries that would come upon all who died without forming such a character4 ,he also took great pains1 at these times1 to teach them how to perform all their daily duties properly1 and showed them that this was one way to form that character that fitted them to die4 ,sometimes he preached on the duty and advantages of industry and economy2 sometimes on the ways to promote cheerfulness1 and contentment2 sometimes on the duties owed to overseers and rulers2 sometimes on the advantages of system1 order and neatness2 sometimes on the duty of taking proper care of the health1 and the ways in which it should be done2 sometimes on the duty of kind1 courteous1 and respectful manners2 sometimes on the duty of improving their minds by reading and study4 ,indeed there was no duty which he found they were in any danger of neglecting1 that he did not teach them the proper way of performing it4 ,and after teaching any of these duties1 he always knelt down with them1 and prayed to ,god to help all of them to obey the rules he had given1 on all these subjects4 ,for this good man never found that they needed instruction on any duty1 when he could not find a plenty of rules and directions about the matter in the ,bible4 ,after preaching to them thus1 when all together1 he used to go around1 and talk with every one separately1 and find out whether or not each was trying to follow his advice4 ,one day after he had been down in the fields1 talking to some of the farmers1 he came up through one of the beautiful gardens1 and as he passed a white marble fountain1 he found one of the girls who worked in the kitchen1 sitting under the shade by it1 looking discontented and sullen4 ,so he went up to her and spoke in a kind and pleasant way1 and then the following conversation took place4 8,well1 ,sarah10 said he1 8what makes you look so displeased and uncomfortable80 ,sarah4 ,it is because ,i do not think ,i am fairly treated4 ,i cannot see1 for my part1 why ,i have not as good a right to sit up in the parlours to sew and read1 when ,i have got my work done1 as the girls who are allowed to sit there4 ,they are no better than ,i am1 and yet they wear fine clothes1 and sit in beautiful rooms1 and have nothing to do but sew on fine things4 ,and here ,i have to stay in the kitchen and work1 work1 work all day long1 and wear homely clothes1 and have the poorest rooms1 and be ordered about by others1 instead of doing as ,i please4 ,and just now1 when ,i went up to sit a little while with those who were sewing up in the parlours1 the head cook came and called me down1 and told me never to go up and sit in the parlours again4 ,minister4 ,and did she tell you any reason for what she required8 ,sarah4 ,why yes1 she said she wanted me to be where she could call me when she needed my help1 and that my shoes and frock would dirty the stair carpet1 and the parlour carpets and sofas1 and that if ,i went up all the rest that worked in the kitchen would go up too1 and this would make work and trouble1 and that she never could keep things going on well in the kitchen1 if this was allowed4 ,but ,i cannot see why we cannot be allowed to go up sometimes1 when we have no work to do--,i am sure ,i am as nice and careful as any of the girls up stairs4 ,minister4 ,so you are1 ,sarah4 ,but do you think ,peggy and ,susan are as nice as you8 ,sarah4 ,mercy on us6--,i guess you would not think so1 if you could see their greasy frocks and aprons1 and their dirty shoes4 ,minister4 ,well--,sarah1 don't you suppose they think they are nice enough8 ,sarah4 ,yes1 ,i suppose so--for when ,i tell them to fix up and look clean and nice1 they only laugh at me1 and say they are not going to wash and fuss and prink up as ,i do every day4 ,minister4 ,well1 suppose you were allowed to go and sit in the parlours every day1 would not ,peggy and ,susan think they had as good a right to do so as you1 and would not they be angry and discontented because the head cook was partial to you and unjust to them8 ,sarah4 ,well1 ,i suppose they would4 ,minister4 ,sarah1 do you not have time to sew and read1 after your work is done1 as much as you wish8 ,sarah4 ,oh yes1 we have a good deal of time for ourselves4 ,minister4 ,is not your chamber a comfortable one1 and do you not have all the comforts and conveniences you need8 ,sarah4 ,oh yes4 ,i am sure ,i never1 when ,i was at my dear home1 had such a comfortable and pleasant chamber and good bed1 and all sorts of comforts4 ,minister4 ,and do you not have as good food as the girls who sit in the parlour8 ,sarah4 ,oh yes--quite as good--,i have never complained about that4 ,minister4 ,and who do you love most1 and like to talk to the best8 ,sarah4 ,i like ,emily who works with me the most of any one1 she is so kind and obliging1 and as cheerful and merry as a lark4 ,minister4 ,do you like any of those who sit in the parlour and sew1 as well as you like ,emily8 ,sarah4 ,oh no1 sir--not half so well4 ,they are all so proud because they have such nice clothes1 and sit in such fine rooms1 that ,i cannot bear them4 ,minister4 ,well then1 my good ,sarah1 it appears that you have a good and pleasant room of your own to stay in1 and a good bed1 and good food1 and even more comforts and conveniences than you had at your own home4 ,and you have time to read and sew1 and books given you to read1 and you have the friend you love best1 to work with you1 and all that ,i can find out that troubles you is1 that you cannot go up and sit in fine rooms1 where every body is dressed better than you1 among people that you say are so proud you cannot bear them4 ,it does not seem to me that this is any very great evil1 and if you will follow my advice you will soon get over this trouble4 ,now ,i want you1 first1 to think over these things4 ,somebody had got to do the work in the kitchen1 or all the company would be uncomfortable and hungry4 ,it is just as right and proper for you to do it1 as for any body else4 ,if your lot had been drawn by one of the girls in the parlour1 she would have been in your place1 and you perhaps in hers1 and then you would not have thought about the matter as you do now4 ,you are doing a great deal of good in the place where you are4 ,the head cook tells me that you are always up in good season1 neat and tidy1 quick and obliging1 and that it is a great comfort to her to have so capable and good a girl to help her4 ,and ,i do not suppose there is a person in the whole company that does more good than you do1 or contributes more to the comfort and enjoyment of the whole family4 ,and it is ,god1 my dear child1 who put you in your lot1 and he it is that requires you to be obedient to those that have rule1 and to be cheerful1 industrious and content with your lot4 ,think of these things when you feel troubled1 and go and pray to ,god to help you put away all proud1 and envious1 and discontented feelings1 and then ,i am sure you will never feel or look so troubled about this matter again4 ,now ,sarah was a good1 and generous1 and grateful girl1 and when the minister talked so kindly to her1 she told him she had been feeling wrong1 and that she would try to follow his advice4 ,and then when he shook hands with her1 and gave her his blessing1 she told him that he was the best and kindest friend she had in the world4 ,and so she went in to her work1 and soon the good man heard her chatting and singing with her friend ,emily1 as cheerful and busy as a bee4 ,,letter ,,iii4 ,difficulties experienced by the shipwrecked company1 and how these were remedied4 ,my ,friends3 ,in the following letter ,i shall tell you of some trouble that these shipwrecked persons met1 in following out their new plan of life4 ,after they had spent several months in doing up the work which past neglect had made needful1 and after the harvest was gathered in1 the good minister found many evils coming upon them1 for want of enough work to keep them all busy4 ,idleness is the parent of a thousand evils and vices1 and therefore something he saw must be devised1 in order to keep all hands employed4 ,the company came together to talk over this matter4 ,at this meeting it was stated that their clothing and furniture were going to destruction even with careful use1 and that as more must be provided soon1 this might afford employment to idle hands4 ,it was then urged by some of the company that they should take what wool they could get from their sheep1 and what flax they could raise1 and make a kind of coarse and strong cloth called linsey woolsey1 and then all might dress alike1 and thus there would be no more trouble about some having better clothes than others4 ,but it soon was shown that this would not remedy the difficulty about employment4 ,for such coarse and strong clothing would last so long1 that all those who now had employment in making and mending and refitting and in doing fine sewing1 would be thrown out of employ4 ,at length it was agreed that an embassy should be sent to the king1 to request him to let the company trade with at least one store on their borders1 where they might exchange the products of their lands for clothing and furniture4 ,this request was granted1 on this condition1 that each individual might bring all he raised himself1 and get whatever he wanted1 but that no one should take any thing that he did not pay for with the fruits of his own labour4 ,after this arrangement was made1 a great change took place in the palace4 ,those who were diligent1 active and bright1 discovered various ways of raising large crops1 or of making ingenious articles1 which they exchanged at the store for such furniture and clothing as they liked4 ,but those who were dull1 or lazy1 or vicious1 did not succeed in raising the means to buy new things1 and were obliged to put up with old or very cheap ones4 ,sometimes those who lived in the finest rooms would agree to give up those rooms to those who were most successful1 in order to share in some of their profits4 ,and thus it came about that many who had the plainest rooms1 and clothing1 and furniture1 by their industry and enterprise1 finally came to possess the finest rooms and handsomest clothing and furniture4 ,and so on the other hand1 some of those who at first by lot had gained the best of every thing1 were driven by their ignorance or indolence1 to take the poorest of every thing4 ,these changes at first produced great discontent4 ,but the good minister took unwearied pains to convince the discontented ones1 that though some evils came from having some persons gain so much superior advantages1 yet on the whole1 it was far better than to have them hold property in common1 and all fare alike4 ,for1 as he showed them1 a great part of mankind are disposed to be careless and indolent1 and would never exert themselves1 unless some great advantage was to be gained by care and industry4 ,for this reason1 it is a great advantage to every body to have persons around them1 who own beautiful1 or convenient things that can be gained by themselves only by intelligence and industry4 ,for thus every one will be stimulated to improve his mind1 and employ his time diligently4 ,on the contrary1 if every body dressed and ate and fared just alike1 whether they were industrious or not1 the stimulus to exertion would be taken away1 and many would become lazy1 ignorant and vicious4 ,these teachings of the minister were effectual in most cases1 so as to preserve harmony and peace4 ,but another difficulty arose1 that caused still more trouble4 ,the company was so large1 that they could not all sit together in one parlour1 nor all eat together at one table2 and very often the question came up1 as to who should associate together4 ,the minister taught them that this was a point where every man had a right to consult his own taste and feelings4 ,no person had a right to go and visit another person's room when he was not wanted1 and every one might decide for himself what company he would have visit him1 and who he would not have as a friend or companion4 ,by following this rule1 it came about that persons whose tastes1 pursuits1 and characters were most alike1 became most interested in each other1 and thus they found it pleasantest to eat together and to sit in the same parlour4 ,thus those who1 either by lot1 or by their intelligence and industry1 gained the finest clothes and furniture1 and had similar employments and habits1 formed one circle by themselves4 ,in like manner those who worked together in the fields became best acquainted1 and they formed another circle4 ,and thus1 too1 those who worked in the kitchen became best acquainted and associated together4 ,but the good minister found many hard feelings coming up from this state of things4 ,for those who had the most talents1 and the finest clothing and furniture1 began to take airs of superiority1 and to treat the others with discourtesy and disrespect1 while those who had less advantages grew envious1 jealous and discontented4 ,it was a very difficult matter to rectify the wrong state of feeling on both sides4 ,though the minister taught those who had the most advantages1 that they should set an example1 to all the rest1 of gentleness1 humility and courtesy1 he could not prevent some of them from appearing haughty and proud1 nor induce them to treat all persons with respect and courtesy1 whatever were their employment or appearance4 ,and it was just as difficult to make those who were less fortunate1 feel kindly towards those who were better off than themselves4 ,they all insisted that none should visit them in their rooms1 or eat with their circle1 unless their company was wanted1 but when other people used the same privilege and excluded them they felt grieved and offended4 ,they were so unreasonable as to insist that nobody should treat them as they were determined to treat others4 ,and though the minister laboured more to make them feel and act reasonably about this than for any thing else1 he often sighed over his poor success4 ,,letter ,,iv4 ,the manner in which this story illustrates the state of things in this country4 ,my ,friends3 ,i will now point out some respects in which you will see that the people of this nation are situated very much like the shipwrecked travellers4 ,in the first place then1 we have received from ,god1 that great and benevolent ,king over all1 a noble country1 filled with an abundance of all kinds of treasures4 ,and the two conditions on which we enjoy it are1 first1 that we shall take care of ourselves1 and do our own work1 and1 secondly1 that we shall all be 8free and equal10 and all 8equally entitled to life1 liberty1 and the pursuit of happiness10 in any way that each one may think best for himself4 ,we also are bound by the same grand rule that was adopted by the shipwrecked company1 that1 every one shall do that which will secure the most enjoyment to the whole company1 and not that which each one likes best4 ,it is according to this rule that all our laws are made1 which restrain men from seeking their own pleasure by sacrificing the public good4 ,and our laws are made by men appointed by the people for the purpose1 and executed by judges and officers appointed by the people1 from among themselves4 ,in this also we resemble the company in the story4 ,the question as to who shall work1 and what kind of work each one shall do1 and who shall have the best rooms and furniture and clothes1 is also settled just as it was in the story4 ,for by common agreement women are appointed to work in the house1 and men to work out doors4 ,then it is ,god decides what our lot shall be when we are born into the world4 ,god determines who shall be born of poor parents and who of rich1 and this decides what kind of work each one shall do1 and what kind of accommodations and furniture each shall possess4 ,it was thus in the story4 ,by casting lots1 the company gave to ,god the business of deciding what stations and employments each should take1 and this determined what clothes and accommodations each should take4 ,but more depends on our intelligence1 industry1 and virtue1 than on the particular lot in which we are born1 so that the people in this country are in exactly the situation of the shipwrecked company after they began to trade at the store4 ,though some few keep the place they got by the lot of birth1 almost every thing depends on intelligence1 skill1 industry and virtue4 ,in this country1 any man who is well educated1 active1 skillful and industrious can become comparatively rich4 ,of course1 in this land1 men have more inducements to become well educated1 virtuous1 and industrious than the people of any other nation on earth4 ,in like manner1 each kind of work has overseers appointed to direct others4 ,who these overseers shall be1 in most cases1 also1 is decided on the same plan as in the story4 ,those who know the most1 generally1 become overseers4 ,in cases where persons hire laborers to work on farms1 or in their families1 then the master of the house1 or the farm1 is the overseer1 and directs those he hires1 because they agree1 for a reward1 to do as he directs4 ,but in almost all trades and professions1 it is those who know the most1 who rise to stations where they are overseers to others4 ,this is a great benefit to all the community1 because it is an encouragement to all persons to improve their minds1 and to be industrious in acquiring skill and knowledge4 ,in this country too1 we have men who spend all their time in studying about diseases and in attending to the sick1 and others who educate the young1 and others who discharge the duties performed by the good minister in the story4 ,and we find among us too1 some people who think that it would be much better for us if every body earned money for the common stock1 instead of laying it out for themselves1 so that nobody should have any handsomer rooms1 or furniture1 or clothing than all the others have4 ,such persons think it would be wise to give up carpets1 sofas1 china1 glass and all ornaments1 and to have every body live very plainly1 and all fare just alike4 ,but the great body of the people know better than this4 ,they see that if all the manufactories of carpets1 sofas1 glass1 china1 silks1 muslins and ornaments were stopped1 that all the persons now employed in making1 and in trading in these articles1 would be thrown out of employ1 and having nothing to do1 would become lazy and wicked4 ,they1 therefore1 conclude that it is best that all kinds of rich and beautiful things should be made1 in order to keep one set of persons busy in making them1 and another set busy in earning money to buy them4 ,this view of the subject should keep persons from complaining that so many needless and extravagant things are made and sold4 ,it is true that many are thus tempted to buy more than is wise or right1 yet on the whole1 great good results to the community4 ,for if nobody bought any thing but what was barely necessary to life and comfort1 half the world would become lazy beggars1 for want of something to do4 ,in this country1 also1 we find the same trouble that the good minister in the story saw among his people4 ,for everywhere we find persons associating together in different classes1 that refuse to admit other classes to join them4 ,thus1 domestics form one class1 farmers another1 mechanics another1 merchants another1 and literary persons another4 ,now1 in some parts of the country1 all these classes mingle together1 without any distinctions of class4 ,but this is not generally the case4 ,for1 in most places1 we find various circles who consider themselves as above or below others1 in certain respects1 and who are very apt to feel wrong towards each other on this account4 ,thus domestics in a family will often feel very much above persons who are mulattos1 and refuse to eat or associate with them1 and yet they think it very hard if mechanics' wives and daughters have the same sort of feelings towards them4 ,in like manner1 mechanics' daughters and sempstresses refuse to eat or to associate with domestics1 and yet they think it very wrong if merchants' or lawyers' daughters refuse to associate with them4 ,and even in those circles who call themselves the very first1 the same feeling is often to be met4 ,i have been in places where there was a rich and fashionable set1 that felt above every other class1 and yet there was another class who called themselves literary1 who felt quite as much above the fashionable set1 whom they called the vulgar rich1 and whom they would not associate with1 even if urged to do so4 ,now it cannot be denied that there often is something wrong on both sides in these cases4 ,for all should be allowed to choose who shall associate with them1 and who shall not1 and none should feel wronged or injured1 because others do not wish to have them come into their circle4 ,every one should grant to others the same right as he claims for himself4 ,no one has a right to force his company on us1 when we do not wish it1 and we have no right to claim that others shall admit us into their circle1 unless they wish it4 ,but the great mischief is1 that those who feel above another set1 are very apt to treat those they fancy to be below them1 with discourtesy or contempt1 while those who feel below others1 are apt to indulge in suspicious1 envious1 or revengeful feelings4 ,how has it been with you who read this8 ,are there not persons whom you refuse to associate with1 and would you not be offended if they were set to eat at the same table with you8 ,and yet have you not felt angry when others have used the same right in regard to you8 ,is not this a place where you very much need the golden rule1 8,do unto others as ye would that others should do unto you80 ,,letter ,v4 ,reasons for regarding the station of a domestic as honourable and respectable4 ,my ,friends3 ,the preceding letters were designed to give you some general views of the state of things in this country1 and of the station which you are called to occupy4 ,i will now point out reasons for regarding your station and employment as honourable and respectable4 ,it is sometimes the case that persons will speak of the place of a domestic as the humblest and least desirable of any2 and some young girls will go into shops and manufactories1 and work much longer1 and for lower wages1 because they fancy that it is more respectable than the place of a domestic4 ,and not unfrequently 8shop girls0 and 8factory girls0 will show much pride and folly1 in shunning the society of domestics1 and in treating them with disrespect and contempt1 as if they were very much below themselves4 ,all these things are owing to a want of correct notions as to the real usefulness and respectability of this important station in life4 ,and ,i will now point out the reasons for considering your situation as far more honourable1 desirable1 and useful than that of a sempstress1 a shop girl1 or a factory girl2 and even as superior in respectability to that of many persons who consider themselves as belonging to the 8very first society40 ,there are two things that make a station honourable2 one is the power to do good1 and the other is using this power in the right manner4 ,why is the office of a king or queen the most honourable of any in the nation8 ,because it secures the most power to confer benefits and enjoyment on others8 ,why is the station of a president1 a governor1 or a judge so honourable8 ,because they have great power given them to use for the happiness of others4 ,why is the office of a minister of the gospel honourable8 ,because his education1 character and office give him great powers to do good4 ,why are rich men considered more honourable than poor8 ,because their money gives them power to increase the happiness of others4 ,they can give employment to the poor1 can give custom to the shopkeepers and tradesmen1 can bestow money on charitable objects1 can secure a superior education1 and many other agreeable things that make it pleasant to others to associate with them4 ,why are persons of talent and learning honourable8 ,because their talents and knowledge give them power in various ways to promote their own interest and to do good to others4 ,the mere possession1 then1 of a power to do good1 is what makes one station more honourable than another4 ,but another thing that makes a station honourable1 is the actual using of this power in doing good4 ,if kings and queens are selfish and wicked1 and use their power to oppress their people1 they are never as much honoured as when they use it to do good4 ,if presidents1 governors1 and judges use their power to do evil1 they are not honoured like those who use it to do good4 ,if a minister of the gospel uses his influence to do harm rather than good1 he is more despised than he is honoured4 ,if rich people spend their wealth in selfish indulgences1 or in harmful vices1 they are not honoured as they would be1 if they spent it for useful and benevolent purposes4 ,if persons who have talents and learning1 spend their time and influence to do evil1 they are not honoured or respected as they would be1 if they employed them to do good4 ,now ,i think you clearly see1 that the two things which make a station honourable are1 the power to do good1 and the use of this power in a proper manner4 ,if1 then1 ,i can show that domestics have great power to do good given them1 and that they really use this power in doing good1 ,i shall prove that the station of a domestic is an honourable and respectable one4 ,and if ,i can show that domestics have more power1 and actually do more good1 than many who think themselves above them1 ,i shall prove1 too1 that they have the more honourable and respectable station4 ,i will therefore point out the power of doing good which is given to domestics4 ,in the first place1 then1 they do more than any other class of persons to sustain that most important institution of ,god1 the family state4 ,how much benefit and comfort mankind receive through this institution1 few of us can realize4 ,to help you to do so1 just imagine the state of things in this country1 if all the homes in the land were broken up1 and all classes of persons herded together in common1 like flocks of animals4 ,in this case the father and husband would have no quiet home to go to for comfort1 and the mother would have no house of her own where she could train her children4 ,every child1 too1 would be turned out into the community to take care of itself1 with no parents to watch over it by day and night1 no brothers and sisters to sleep and play with1 no regular meal to call all the children together around their kind parents4 ,in a cold and selfish world1 without guardians1 without a home1 without parental restraint and tenderness1 each young child would go into the common herd1 to grow up selfish1 unhappy1 unloving and unloved4 ,instead of this1 ,god ordains that parents shall have a home of their own1 where they can have their children to themselves1 to train them up in love and peace and plenty4 ,and one main support of this blessed institution of family and home is1 those domestics who are hired to do the chief labours of the family4 ,just take away from this country all the cooks1 chambermaids1 waiters1 washers1 and house cleaners1 and what would be the result8 ,the fathers could not leave their business to do the family work1 the mothers would not have strength to do it1 and the family state would be broken up4 ,and thus unnumbered miseries and crime would come in floods upon the land4 ,the position and the work of a domestic1 then1 are among the most useful1 the most important and the most honourable4 ,they have a power given them to do good and to save from evil1 not surpassed by that of any other class in the community4 ,let any one select the class of persons that could be dispensed with last of all1 and it would be found that lawyers1 merchants1 doctors1 and ministers would all be given up1 before every family would agree to give up all aid from cooks1 washers1 nurses and every kind of hired service in the family4 ,but1 in addition to the power thus given to domestics in sustaining the family state1 they have another most important position of usefulness4 ,this relates to the power they exercise in forming the characters of young children4 ,the period of life from infancy to twelve years old1 is the time in which the foundations of future character are laid4 ,during this time1 children are in the society of domestics almost as much as they are with their parents1 and in many cases1 they talk with those hired to take care of them much more than they do with their parents4 ,children are creatures of imitation and sympathy1 and they soon learn to think1 and feel and act like those around them4 ,of course domestics are constantly exerting a powerful influence in forming the opinions1 tastes1 habits1 and character of children1 more so1 probably1 than any other class in the community4 ,to estimate this power properly1 we must remember that the happiness of children depends almost entirely on the character they form4 ,if they learn to control their appetites1 to be honest1 truthful1 benevolent1 and industrious1 they will be useful and happy in future life4 ,if they do not learn to control their appetites1 if they learn to be deceitful1 dishonest1 selfish and irritable1 they certainly will be unhappy and unprosperous4 ,and our whole nation is to be made up of children1 whose happiness and prosperity will depend1 to a great degree1 on the influences exerted over them by domestics in early life4 ,and the next generation is to depend1 for happiness and prosperity1 on the manner in which the present generation is trained4 ,and the next after that1 depends in like manner1 on the one before it1 so that the influence which domestics exert on one generation of children is to go down to generation after generation1 for hundreds of years4 ,and yet1 this is not half of the mighty power1 which is given to domestics to use1 either for good or for evil4 ,all these children1 who from generation to generation are thus influenced in character1 by domestics who take care of them1 are to live forever1 and their happiness for endless ages1 is to depend on the character which they form in this life6 ,oh eternity6 eternity6 who can estimate the power of those who are doing so much1 in forming the character of beings who can never1 never die6 ,another particular in which domestics have great power is1 the influence they exert in making home pleasant to husbands and sons4 ,in a family where most of the work is done regularly and well1 by domestics1 the mother has time to take good care of her children1 and her mind is cheerful and free from excessive cares4 ,in this case1 the husband and sons find a comfortable and pleasant home1 and are not tempted to resort to dangerous amusements abroad4 ,but when every thing is going wrong in the kitchen and nursery1 the wife and mother is perplexed and harassed1 and often is low-spirited or irritable4 ,the father and sons1 when they come home1 find the house in disorder1 their food ill cooked and served1 their linen out of order1 their beds uncomfortable1 the housekeeper gloomy1 the children unregulated1 and every thing seems to drive them off to look for a more cheerful and comfortable resort4 ,many and many a husband and son has thus been driven to temptations and snares1 that have drawn them and their families to misery and ruin4 ,another power for doing good given to domestics is1 their opportunities for comforting and relieving the sick4 ,sickness always makes a great deal of work1 and were it not for domestics1 the sick would suffer greatly for want of nursing and many comforts4 ,no persons owe more to domestics than those who1 by sickness1 are deprived of all power to take care of themselves4 ,i might point out other particulars in which domestics have it in their power to do great good1 but surely enough has been presented to show1 that if great power to do good is what entitles persons to be called honourable1 then domestics have a pre-eminent claim4 ,but it has been shown1 that it is not only the power to do good1 but the actual use of this power that entitles a person to honour and respect4 ,here1 also1 domestics will be found to have a claim equal to that of any other class of persons4 ,it will be found1 that there are individuals in every class of society1 who do not use their power well4 ,there are bad kings and bad governors1 bad rich men and bad learned men1 and sometimes there are bad ministers of the gospel4 ,so1 also1 there are bad domestics4 ,but1 as a class1 ,i believe domestics use their power for the benefit1 rather than the injury of society1 as much so as any other class4 ,most of the work1 that is necessary to sustain the family state1 is actually done by them1 the sick are taken care of by their help1 children are nursed and taken care of by them1 and the comfort of a family is promoted by their services1 to a degree never realized till their help is gone4 ,no class in the community do more in promoting the comfort1 health1 and prosperity of society than domestics4 ,it thus appears1 that they are an honourable and respectable class in society1 not only because they have great power to do good1 but because they actually use this power beneficially1 to a very great extent4 ,,letter ,,vi4 ,the reasons why the station of a domestic is not regarded as so honourable as it really is4 ,my ,friends3 ,it is probable that1 while reading the previous letter1 you have thought to yourselves1 but why1 if domestics are so honourable in station and office1 are they not regarded so8 ,why are they not treated with honour and respect8 ,why is their situation spoken of as one of the lowest and least honourable8 ,i will point out some of the reasons for this4 ,one reason is1 the remains of aristocratic notions in our country1 which lead people to feel that labour is degrading1 and to honour persons1 rather for the kind of work they are employed in1 than for their character4 ,i will first explain what ,i mean by aristocratic notions4 ,we are descended from the ,english nation1 and their plan of government is exactly opposite to ours4 ,i have shown you that our plan of government is like that adopted by the shipwrecked company4 ,nobody is required to give up any thing1 or to do any thing but what is for the good of the whole community4 ,though our lot in life is decided by the ,god of ,heaven1 yet we make our own rules and laws1 choose our own rulers and overseers1 and nobody is obliged to do any thing1 which is not as necessary for his own good1 as it is for the good of all the rest4 ,but in aristocratic lands1 it is very much as it was in the story when the strongest1 by fighting1 got the best of every thing1 while the weakest were obliged to take the poorest of every thing4 ,in ,england all the power is in the hands of the queen1 a few nobles1 and a small portion of the richest and best educated people1 and for age after age it has been so4 ,in consequence of this1 the laws and customs of that nation have been made to benefit this small portion of the nation1 so that most of the wealth has been accumulated in their hands1 while the great body of the people are miserably poor4 ,the wealth is so unequally divided1 that while some receive incomes from their parents1 or from the king or queen1 large enough to support whole villages1 thousands around them1 though ever so industrious and virtuous1 cannot earn more than a few cents a day by twelve or fourteen hours of hard labour4 ,this has been the state of things in ,england for hundreds of years4 ,in consequence of this1 those who have had the most wealth have lived in ease and indolence1 and have considered labour as degrading4 ,the rich and the noble have felt as if it was the business of poor and ignorant people to toil1 and that living in indolence was a privilege1 and the mark to distinguish the gentleman and the lady1 from the vulgar and low born4 ,as we are descended from that nation1 we have inherited a good deal of this feeling1 so that even now1 when a woman lives in perfect idleness1 it is very common to say1 that she 8is living like a lady1 with nothing to do but enjoy herself40 ,so we often find that a lounging1 ignorant coxcomb1 if he happens to have money to enable him to dress well1 is called 8a gentleman20 while a man of ten times the sense1 education and usefulness is not so regarded1 because he works with his hands for his own support4 ,but things are gradually altering in this country1 in regard to this matter1 and it is becoming more and more honourable to work1 and more and more discreditable to be useless and idle4 ,yet a great change is to be accomplished before all aristocratic notions are so shaken off1 that a man or woman will be honoured for usefulness1 good manners1 good sense and good principles1 without any regard to the kind of work by which a livelihood is earned4 ,when this time comes1 if a woman has a refined education1 good manners1 and good principles1 she will be as much honoured and respected as a domestic1 as she would be in any other sphere of life4 ,another reason why the station of a domestic is not regarded as honourable is1 because most persons have wrong ideas about doing good and being useful4 ,to understand this1 you will observe that when ladies have a great deal of money and leisure1 they spend the greater part of their time in dressing1 visiting1 reading1 and enjoying themselves in various ways4 ,and yet if they take one afternoon in a week to go around and visit the poor and sick--if they distribute tracts1 and give a very small portion of their income for benevolent purposes1 they are spoken of as remarkably useful persons1 and are honoured because they do so much good4 ,but if a woman goes around day after day to help mothers make up clothes for their children1 or if a woman works from morning till night in the kitchen1 to make a family comfortable1 this is not called doing good4 ,though the sempstress and domestic spend the whole of their time in earning their own support1 and at the same time1 contribute more than almost any class of persons to the comfort and enjoyment of others1 they are not spoken of as persons who are living to do good4 ,but if a woman is supported by the labour of others1 and spends the most of her time in occupations that merely gratify herself1 and not one tenth part of her time or money1 in a way that benefits others1 still she is commended and admired as one who is eminent for 8doing good40 ,now this is a mistaken mode of estimating usefulness4 ,those who are constantly doing something to promote the comfort of others should feel that they are 8doing good10 as their daily business2 while those who give only odd intervals for the benefit of others1 and seek their own pleasure the rest of the time1 should feel that they are the least useful part of the community4 ,according to this1 when the young ladies of a family1 who have wealth1 education and leisure1 spend most of their time in seeking their own amusement1 then those domestics1 who toil all day in the kitchen for the comfort of others1 are the most useful persons2 and if they perform their duties properly1 deserve to be the most respected and esteemed4 ,the last reason why the station of domestics is not regarded as honourable is1 that the persons who have been in this station have1 ordinarily1 been persons destitute of education and good manners4 ,this has been more their misfortune than their fault1 and it is a difficulty not easily remedied4 ,but it is very certain that a person who has a good education and good manners1 is deserving of more respect1 and always will receive more respect1 than one who is ignorant1 rude1 vulgar and ill-mannered4 ,and if all the domestics in this land were suddenly changed into refined1 well bred1 well educated persons1 you would find that there would be as sudden a change in public feeling1 and then the station of a domestic would be regarded as genteel1 honourable1 and respectable1 far more than it now is4 ,this is an advantage rather than an evil1 for it tends to influence domestics to improve their minds and cultivate their manners1 so that they may be worthy of the respect and honour which they would thus secure4 ,,letter ,,vii4 ,reasons why the station of a domestic is a desirable one1 and superior to that of a sempstress1 a shop girl1 or a factory girl4 ,my ,friends3 ,i will now point out some of the reasons for considering your situation in life a desirable one1 and far superior in advantages to many employments usually regarded as more respectable4 ,to understand this properly1 we must bear in mind that our happiness1 here and hereafter1 depends chiefly on the character which we form4 ,a woman that is selfish1 irritable1 proud1 indolent and ambitious1 can never be happy4 ,give her wealth and leisure1 and beauty1 and high standing in society1 and a superior education1 and all the comforts and luxuries that wealth secures1 and yet she will be discontented and unhappy4 ,she will always find some one richer1 or handsomer1 or better educated1 or more admired than herself4 ,she will always find something about her different from what she wishes1 that will make her fretful and irritable4 ,this1 with her pride and selfishness1 will lead people to dislike and talk against her1 so that while she is longing for love and admiration1 she will receive dislike and detraction1 and this will mortify and vex her4 ,she will be too indolent to find employment to occupy her mind1 and thus time will hang heavy1 and life will become a burden--a constant scene of disappointment and trouble4 ,but change this woman's character1 and make her gentle1 kind1 and obliging to all around her2 make her active1 industrious1 neat and orderly2 give her that piety which influences the mind to be self-denying and benevolent to others1 contented with our lot1 and cheerful and resigned to all that ,god appoints1 and such a woman will be happy in any circumstances4 ,let such a one become a domestic1 and she will go around1 kindly and patiently ministering to the wants of all in the house1 keeping every thing comfortable and in order1 and giving kind words1 and tender sympathy to the troubles of others4 ,such a one will be loved and respected by all1 and will constantly be receiving expressions of good will1 esteem and affection4 ,her time1 filled up with useful and benevolent deeds1 will glide along1 as on angels' wings2 while looking forward to ,heaven as her sure and happy home1 all the little troubles of life will seem light1 and all its comforts will be doubled in value4 ,if1 then1 our happiness depends so much on the character we form1 when we calculate the advantages of any situation1 we should take into account the influence it will have on our character4 ,now there are some respects in which ,i think the situation of domestics very favourable to the formation of a good character4 ,in the first place1 it is a situation in which persons form a habit of submitting their will to the will of another1 with readiness and cheerfulness4 ,you will always find that children who are never governed1 and who therefore never learn to give up their wills readily and cheerfully1 generally grow up to be forward1 imperious1 headstrong and reckless4 ,they go out into a world where nobody will indulge and humour them as their parents have done4 ,on the contrary every body is looking out for their own rights and interests1 and none are disposed to put up with their imperious airs and selfish demands4 ,in consequence of this1 they are always getting into trouble1 always irritated1 always discontented4 ,if they had been trained to give up their wills to others cheerfully and readily1 in early life1 half these troubles would have been escaped4 ,besides this1 we must remember that both in this life and forever1 we have got to learn to be happy in giving up our wills to the ,great ,maker and ,father of all1 and the more we are trained to submission of the will1 the easier this first and greatest of all duties will become4 ,a person1 then1 who goes into a family and agrees1 for a suitable compensation1 to do the work1 under the direction of those who hire1 is in a state of constant training1 which has a most beneficial tendency in preparing for future life1 both here and in another world4 ,such a person will find it far easier to give up to her fellow creatures and sincerely to pray1 8,not my will but thine be done10 than one who never has been subjected to any such control4 ,it has often and truly been said1 that those only know how to command1 who have learned to obey4 ,in proof of this1 we always find that none make such hard masters1 or such severe and unreasonable parents1 as those who have never practised the duty of subordination themselves4 ,in this happy country1 domestics have as fair a prospect as any class of persons of becoming heads of a family1 when others will have to be controlled by them4 ,and nothing so efficiently prepares them for such a station1 as having been themselves placed in the position which a domestic holds4 ,another very great advantage gained in domestic service is1 learning how to perform all the work of a family in a proper manner4 ,a female domestic has a chance to observe how the mother governs children1 and to take warning by her mistakes1 and profit by her good example4 ,she has a chance to be with children1 and to learn how to manage their little faults1 and bear with their follies4 ,she learns the proper modes of cooking food1 of arranging a house1 of taking care of furniture1 and of doing all the various kinds of work which in future life she must either do herself1 or else direct others to do4 ,she learns various modes of economizing1 and of systematizing work4 ,she acquires a habit of taking care of others1 and of providing for their comforts and wants1 so as to qualify her for these benevolent services when she has a family of her own4 ,she also has an employment that is healthful1 because it demands a great deal of exercise1 most of it within doors1 and not in any way injurious4 ,she also has regular daily business1 and is obliged to be industrious--and a habit of industry is one of the truest sources of contentment and happiness4 ,besides this1 a domestic is brought into contact with a great variety of tempers1 and learns to accommodate1 and to govern her temper and tongue as she never could do without this kind of trial4 ,a domestic1 too1 is in a situation in which she is1 all the time1 called on to give up her own ease and time to promote the comfort of others1 and this tends to make the duty of self-denying benevolence1 more easy to learn4 ,this is the great duty which ,jesus ,christ came to teach us by his precepts and example1 and the more we can imitate him in this1 the more we shall be prepared to serve and enjoy him in that world where he has gone1 and where he invites us to prepare ourselves to come1 by imitating him4 ,it thus appears that if a domestic is ever to be married1 she is going through exactly the best training possible1 to prepare her to conform her will and wishes to those of her husband1 to train up her children well1 and to become a neat1 industrious and economical housekeeper4 ,if she is not to be married1 she is forming a character that is best calculated to raise up around her1 in the families where she labours1 sincere and valuable friends1 who will make her old age easy and respectable4 ,and whatever may be her future earthly lot1 she is under the best kind of training to make her a submissive1 benevolent and self denying ,christian1 and thus to fit her for her eternal home4 ,i will now show some of the reasons why the employment of a sempstress1 a shop girl1 and a factory girl are inferior in advantages and respectability to that of a domestic4 ,in all of these employments1 a young woman has only one thing to do1 from morning to night1 and the kind of work she does in no way tends to improve her character1 or to prepare her for domestic life4 ,she is not constantly doing various kinds of work1 under the direction of another1 thus learning patience1 submission1 diligence and faithfulness4 ,she is not learning how to economize1 or keep house1 or take care of children4 ,she is not acquiring a habit of ministering to the wants and comforts of others4 ,in most cases she has a sedentary employment1 that keeps her from the exercise and fresh air1 so needful to good health4 ,she is thrown out of the circle of family friendships1 and the safe asylum of domestic life1 and is often brought into contact with selfish and vicious persons1 whose influence tends to injure her tastes and morals1 and in many cases to blast her reputation and character forever4 ,in general1 she cannot have as much time as domestics can gain1 to take care of her clothes1 or to read1 and thus improve her mind4 ,i have known cases1 where young girls have left the place of a domestic in a good family1 to go to shops or manufactories1 who1 after the trial1 have returned with broken down health1 to mourn over those influences1 which had done even more evil to the mind1 than had been inflicted on the body4 ,if ,i had a young sister1 who must earn her own support by the labor of her hands1 ,i would first look for a place for her as a domestic in a kind1 well educated and ,christian family1 as the safest1 the happiest1 the most useful place ,i could find4 ,and ,i should consider the sedentary1 homeless employment of a sempstress1 or the still more dangerous and injurious employments1 of the shop or manufactory1 as every way inferior in advantages and respectability4 ,and ,i trust a time will come1 when all those most interested in the matter1 will view this subject in the same light4 ,,letter ,,viii4 ,the importance of raising the respectability of the station of a domestic1 in public estimation1 and the mode by which it can be done4 ,my ,friends3 ,i have in previous letters shown1 that the station of a domestic is honourable and respectable2 and that it is a far more desirable situation than that of many deemed superior to it4 ,i have also shown some of the reasons why it is not regarded as so honourable and respectable as it ought to he4 ,i now wish to point out some of the reasons why it is very important1 both to employers and to domestics1 that this employment should be raised1 in general estimation1 to that honour and respectability which really belongs to it4 ,to understand the subject properly1 you must bear in mind these things4 ,this nation is now more prosperous than any other in the world1 and almost any man of intelligence1 industry1 and honesty1 can1 after a few years1 gain so much wealth that he can afford to hire a domestic to help his wife4 ,such men1 when young1 are frequently marrying persons who are domestics4 ,in this way it comes about1 that the number of domestics is diminishing1 and the number of those who wish to hire domestics is increasing4 ,domestics are constantly changing to be the mistresses of families1 who wish to hire domestics themselves4 ,at the same time1 women can be hired so much cheaper than men1 that it is becoming more and more common to hire women to do what in past times was done by men in shops1 stores1 and manufactories4 ,and though1 in many cases1 no greater wages are gained than domestics secure1 yet as these places are considered superior in respectability1 many who would otherwise go to service in families1 prefer such places1 even when they work longer and for less wages4 ,but in some cases1 women have far higher wages offered than are ever given to domestics4 ,these causes are operating constantly to diminish the number of domestics1 until1 in some parts of the country1 many ladies cannot hire any person to do their family work on any terms1 and though they are very wealthy1 they are obliged to do all their own work4 ,and the more prosperous this country grows1 the more this scarcity of domestics will increase1 unless something is done to remedy the difficulty4 ,and this will be the greater misfortune1 because most young women1 who have wealthy parents1 are brought up in such a way1 that they have a delicate constitution that cannot bear hard labour4 ,when1 therefore1 they are married1 not being able to hire domestics1 their health and strength fail under the care and labours that come upon them2 they lose their courage and spirits1 life becomes a burden1 and often1 they drag out a weary life1 or sink to an early grave4 ,this brings anxiety1 trouble1 and care on husbands and fathers1 and when the comforts of home are gone1 the road to vice is near1 while children1 turned off for want of time1 are still greater sufferers4 ,since ,i have travelled so much in this nation1 ,i have been greatly distressed at the amount of care1 anxiety and sorrow that oppress so many thousands1 for want of proper aid from domestics4 ,it is therefore of the greatest consequence to employers1 that the station of a domestic should be so raised in comfort and respectability1 that it will be regarded as a desirable situation by the thousands that are now employed in work injurious to themselves4 ,it is quite as important to all who must labour with their hands for a livelihood1 that the station of a domestic should be regarded as a respectable and desirable one4 ,i have shown how much superior this situation is to that of a shop or a manufactory1 and it would be a great blessing to the young women of this nation1 who earn their livelihood1 if they so regarded it4 ,it is a matter1 then1 that equally interests all classes in society to inquire1 ,how shall the station and employment of a domestic be raised in public estimation1 so as to be regarded honourable and respectable1 as much so as it deserves to be8 ,now this can be accomplished only by having both sides try to bring it about4 ,on the side of employers1 pains must be taken to render the situation of domestics agreeable and comfortable1 and to secure for them time and means to gain a good education and a comfortable support4 ,and many intelligent persons are now feeling the importance of this4 ,i have heard many gentlemen say1 8,when we get good domestics1 we must pay them so well1 and treat them so well1 that they will feel that they cannot improve their condition by any change40 ,and ,i have seen many sensible women acting according to this advice4 ,but as this book is not designed for employers1 but for domestics1 ,i will confine myself to pointing out the modes by which you can contribute to raise the respectability of your situation4 ,to give you my views more clearly1 ,i will describe a domestic who does the work in a family where ,i have resided4 ,in the first place1 she always dresses herself neatly1 and yet in a style fitting the work she has to do1 while she keeps her chamber and kitchen in such neat order1 and there is such a look of comfort and respectability about her and all her concerns1 that every one likes to see her in her kitchen4 ,then she is intelligent and well educated1 at least enough so to know that it is lady-like to be respectful and polite to every body4 ,if any person comes into her kitchen1 she offers a chair1 and treats them with the same politeness that is shown by the lady of the house to her visitors4 ,then she always does all her work well4 ,her bread is always the best1 her meats are well cooked1 her vegetables served hot and in the neatest order4 ,she is economical and careful1 too1 so that nothing is wasted by neglect4 ,she is not set in her own ways1 but is always ready to do any kind of work that her employer wishes done1 and to do it in the manner requested4 ,when the children come into the kitchen1 if she has time and it is convenient1 she makes it pleasant to them1 but if they give her trouble1 as she has authority given her to do this1 she decidedly1 but kindly1 requires their instant departure4 ,she is so prudent1 kind1 and discreet1 that the lady who employs her can1 at any time1 leave the care of her family and her children with her1 and feel entirely at ease1 knowing that every thing will be done in the best manner during her absence4 ,and in times of sickness1 she always looks to her kitchen for the tender sympathy and watchful care1 which she never fails to find4 ,in the evenings1 this domestic employs herself in the care of her own wardrobe1 and finds some leisure time to read the books and papers that are abundantly supplied4 ,in this way she stores her mind with useful and entertaining knowledge1 so that this1 with her native sense and shrewdness1 makes her society agreeable and valued by the best educated persons4 ,it is true she has her frailties--for who is perfect8 ,but these excellencies seem so to cover them over1 that they are almost forgotten4 ,now the consequence of all this is1 that more pains is taken in that family1 to make this domestic comfortable and contented than is given to almost any other person4 ,she is always treated with respect and kindness1 and as she is never unreasonable in her requests1 whatever she expresses a desire for1 is always secured for her if possible4 ,her chamber1 her kitchen1 and all her comforts are carefully provided for1 and the children would no more invade her rights1 or treat her with disrespect1 than they would treat their parents thus4 ,now1 ,i believe there are hundreds in this land1 who1 if they could get such a domestic as this1 would agree to pay her almost any thing she1 or any one would think of asking4 ,money1 if it could secure such a domestic1 would be of little account1 with the multitudes1 who now find that wealth cannot secure for them the services needed to make home comfortable4 ,you will now understand why ,i would advise1 as the surest way of raising the respectability of your employment1 to raise the character of domestics4 ,whenever a time comes in which such a domestic as the one ,i have described1 is a fair picture of the whole class1 it is very certain that the respect and regard that should be given to this employment1 never will be withheld4 ,i have heard ladies of great good sense1 and in the highest circles in our land1 talk in this manner3 8,now if ,i only could find domestics who are intelligent1 well-bred1 neat in dress and person1 and who so understand the proprieties of their station as to set a good example to my children1 ,i should not have the least objection to their sitting in my parlour1 or at my table1 whenever it was convenient1 nor to treating them in all respects as the friends and companions of my children4 ,but such domestics we cannot find40 ,this single remark will show to you the reason why there often is a necessity of making so much difference between the situation of employers and domestics1 as is generally seen in the most wealthy and intelligent circles4 ,parents1 in the best society1 wish to have their children trained so as to appear properly in the circles in which they move4 ,for this end they strive to make them neat in dress and person1 polite and respectful in manners1 particularly in the use of refined and grammatical language1 and careful to observe propriety in their behaviour at table and in society4 ,now if they could get domestics who would set a good example before their children1 in these respects1 it would be very agreeable to them to have them in the parlour and at table with the children1 whenever it was convenient4 ,but if domestics neglect their person1 if their dress is negligent and untidy1 if they are rough and coarse in their manners1 and rude and disrespectful in address1 if they use incorrect language and neglect the rules of propriety at table and in society1 there is a very good reason for excluding them from the table and parlour1 where their example would injure children and be offensive and disagreeable to visitors4 ,and it is a benefit to domestics that such feelings exist1 for it tends to encourage them to try to be neat1 tidy1 well-bred and well educated4 ,if there were no advantages to be gained by a good education and good manners1 no one would try to gain them4 ,this is one reason why ,god has appointed it1 that the more we improve in these respects1 the more our estimation in society1 and our comfort in all respects will be increased4 ,on the subject of having domestics sit in the parlour and eat with the family these things must be taken into consideration4 ,there are some families who live in such a way that it is perfectly convenient for them1 to have the one who cooks and waits on table1 eat and sit with the family4 ,and then1 if the character and manners of a domestic are suitable1 there is no reason why this practice should not be adopted4 ,but there is another class of persons1 whose style of living is such1 that it would be very inconvenient to have the one who cooks and waits on table sit and eat with the family4 ,in such families one person is needed during meals to attend to matters in the kitchen1 and another person to change dishes and carry food back and forth1 and if these persons sat at table there would be constant disorder and confusion in jumping up from table to perform these services1 while a dress suitable for kitchen work would not be suitable at a table where company is often entertained4 ,besides this1 the master of a family often is so engaged in business that the only time he can see his wife and children together is at meals1 and then he wishes to be at liberty to talk freely1 as he could not do1 if every stranger he hires must come to his family meal4 ,for these reasons1 even if domestics were ever so well educated and well bred1 there are reasons why it would be more agreeable and convenient to have the family eat and sit by themselves1 and domestics eat and sit in the kitchen4 ,and when domestics do become intelligent1 and well educated1 they will have sense enough to feel1 that the place where they sit or eat1 has nothing to do with their respectability4 ,they will see that it is most convenient to sit and eat in the kitchen1 and they will choose to do so themselves1 and never think that it is any hardship1 or any thing that implies1 that they are not as good and as respectable as any other members of the family4 ,it is because domestics do not consider these things1 that they sometimes feel that it is all owing to pride1 that their employers do not have their domestics share the parlour and family meal4 ,now ,i do not doubt that there are some employers that have a foolish pride of this sort1 which is as unworthy of a ,christian1 as it is of a republican people4 ,but so far as ,i have observed1 it is among those who have the least claims to be considered as well bred and well educated4 ,the more education and good sense a person has1 the more it is seen that respectability depends not on the employment1 but on the character of a person4 ,and those who put on the most airs of aristocracy and superiority1 are generally those who have risen from circumstances where they had no chance to gain the education and good breeding1 that would have taught them better4 ,but in most cases1 among well educated and sensible persons1 the great reason for having domestics have a separate sitting-room and tables is1 that it is more convenient to the family1 and in most cases1 it is also most convenient and agreeable to domestics themselves4 ,when domestics cannot dress and appear like the family1 and when their education and manners do not qualify them for the society that visits the family1 in most cases1 they themselves would prefer to sit and to eat in the kitchen1 and would regard it as a great trial to be obliged to sit and eat with the family4 ,,letter ,,ix4 ,on the duties of subordination4 ,rules of the ,bible4 ,respectful manners the mark of a lady4 ,my ,friends3 ,i have shown that the chief way in which the station of a domestic is to be raised in public estimation1 is by raising the character of those who occupy this situation4 ,i have shown also1 that it is by the formation of a right character1 that we are to secure true happiness both in this and in a future life4 ,you will therefore understand the propriety of my attempting to point out the course which you need to take in order to form the right character1 and also the proper manner of performing your various duties in life4 ,in attempting this1 ,i will first direct your attention to what are called the duties of subordination4 ,by this ,i mean those duties owed by all persons to those who have authority1 or any right to control and direct them4 ,we all of us know that no kind of work can be well done1 unless there are overseers to direct those who work4 ,for this reason1 every kind of business is managed by persons1 who have authority to control others4 ,the rulers of a nation have a right to direct others in all points where the laws require them so to do4 ,the captain of a ship has authority to command all his hands4 ,the master of a store1 or shop1 has a right to control all who work in his employ4 ,the teacher of a school has a right to command his scholars in all matters pertaining to his school4 ,the master and mistress of a family1 too1 have a right to control their children1 and also all those persons whom they hire to do their work1 in all matters relating to this work4 ,in all these cases1 those who are entitled to direct others should be treated with respect by those who are under their control2 and in all those matters where they have a right to command1 they should be cheerfully and exactly obeyed4 ,this duty is constantly1 and often enjoined by ,god in his ,holy ,word4 8,submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the ,lord's sake40 8,obey those that have rule over you40 8,render therefore to all their dues1 fear to whom fear1 and honour to whom honour is due40 ,it is because the duties of subordination are so important to the happiness of those who are to be controlled1 as well as to society at large1 that ,god so often and so earnestly urges these duties in the ,bible4 ,and we cannot fully realize the force of these directions1 unless we bear in mind the state of things that existed when they were written4 ,in the first place1 the kings and rulers over the people1 in those times when these directions were given1 were not those appointed by themselves1 who were to rule according to laws made by the people for their own good1 as is the case in this country4 ,instead of this1 the rulers were bad men and cruel tyrants1 who by the help of their soldiers gained power and authority by mere strength4 ,and in the family state1 the domestics were not1 as in this country1 persons who for a reward agree to perform the work of the family4 ,on the contrary1 they were white men and women1 who were forced against their will into servitude1 and driven by stripes and cruelties to work for their masters4 ,some of these white slaves1 it is probable1 were from ,england1 the land of our forefathers4 ,now what were the directions given by ,god to subjects1 and to domestics1 in these circumstances8 ,he did not tell them1 that because their rulers and masters were bad men1 and had gained power in a wrong way1 that they might refuse to obey4 ,on the contrary1 ,god saw that it was best1 whenever men gain the power over others1 that the weaker ones should submit and obey4 ,he teaches us that the power which men gain over each other in this way1 is permitted by ,god4 ,in ,prov4 #h3 #ae1 #af1 ,god says1 8,by me kings rule1 and princes decree justice4 ,by me princes rule1 and nobles1 even all the judges of the earth40 ,this teaches us1 that in whatever way it may be1 that men gain power to rule over others1 so long as they really hold this power1 it is by the permission of ,god4 ,though he may disapprove of the men1 and of the means they use to get power1 yet so long as they hold the power1 ,he sees that it is best for all they govern1 to submit and obey4 ,thus ,in ,eccles4 #e3 #ai1 it is said3 8,where the word of a king is1 there is power1 and who may say to him1 what doest thou80 ,again1 in ,daniel #b3 #bj1 it is written1 8,blessed be the name of ,god for ever and ever3 for wisdom and might are his3 and he changeth the times and the seasons2 ,he removeth kings1 and setteth up kings40 ,dan4 #d3 #cb1 8,the ,most ,high ruleth in the kingdom of men1 and giveth it to whomsoever he will40 ,thus it appears that it is by ,god's will and appointment1 that even bad men gain power to rule over others4 ,and when they have gained this power1 the following texts show what ,god requires in regard to the honour and obedience to be rendered to them4 ,in ,matt4 #bb3 #ba1 when some men came to ,christ asking him whether it was their duty to pay tribute to ,csar1 who was the cruel tyrant then ruling over them4 ,to this1 ,christ replied1 after looking at the tribute money1 8,render unto ,csar the things that are ,csar's1 and unto ,god the things that are ,god's40 ,this means1 render to ,csar what he has power to require1 just as you render your duties to ,god4 ,the ,apostle ,peter1 by ,god's authority1 also teaches thus1 #a ,peter #b3 #ac1 #ad1 8,submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the ,lord's sake1 whether it be to kings as supreme1 or unto governors1 as unto them that are sent by him1 for the punishment of evil doers4 ,as free1 and not using your liberty for a cloak of maliciousness1 but as the servants of ,god40 ,this command teaches us that we are to submit to every ordinance of man for the ,lord's sake4 ,that is1 when men have power to make laws1 customs and ordinances1 we must submit to them for the ,lord's sake--that is1 in order to please and obey ,god4 ,the only cases where it is right to resist is1 when we are commanded to do what is sinful4 ,it was on this principle that our forefathers1 for a long time1 obeyed the laws of the king of ,england2 even when they were bad laws4 ,but as soon as the people found they had power to make their own laws1 they appointed rulers of their own1 and then they ceased to obey the king of ,england1 who had not power to force them to do it2 and obeyed their own rulers1 who had power given them to govern by the people4 ,as soon1 then1 as it is found1 that men have power given them to rule1 ,god requires those under them to submit and obey for the ,lord's sake4 ,this is the wisest and safest way1 for it saves from constant fighting and quarrels4 ,in the story of the shipwrecked company1 we can see that it would have been better for them all1 to submit to be governed by one man1 even if he was a bad man1 than to continue in the state of uproar1 disorder and oppression that existed when there was none to rule over them4 ,the same sort of directions also1 were given by ,god to domestics4 ,at the time these were written in the ,bible1 men and women were made servants by force1 and their masters had power to whip1 starve and murder them without punishment4 ,god saw1 that in this case1 it was safest and best for servants1 as well as for the whole community1 that they should submit to those who had this power4 ,accordingly the ,apostle ,paul1 by authority from ,god1 gives these directions1 ,eph4 #f3 #e1 8,servants1 be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh1 with fear and trembling1 in singleness of heart1 as unto ,christ1 doing the will of ,god from the heart4 ,with good will doing service1 as to the ,lord1 and not to men1 knowing that whatsoever good thing a man doeth1 the same shall be received of the ,lord1 whether he be bond or free40 ,here1 those who were held in the most cruel bondage1 were required1 so long as they were in the power of their masters1 to submit1 and not only to serve them1 but to do service 8with good will10 8as to the ,lord40 ,that means1 feel kindly to your masters1 and do them good1 for the sake of obeying and pleasing ,jesus ,christ4 ,again1 the same apostle writes1 ,col4 #c3 #bb1 8,servants1 obey in all things your masters according to the flesh2 not with eye-service1 as men-pleasers1 but in singleness of heart1 fearing ,god4 ,and whatsoever ye do1 do it heartily1 as to the ,lord1 and not to men1 knowing that ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance1 for ye serve the ,lord ,christ40 ,again1 ,paul1 when teaching ,titus how to perform his duties as a minister of ,christ1 directs thus1 ,titus #b3 #i1 8,exhort servants to be obedient to their own masters1 and to please them well in all things2 not answering again2 not purloining1 but showing all good fidelity1 that they may adorn the doctrine of ,god our ,saviour in all things40 ,another ,apostle thus commands1 by the authority of ,god1 #a ,peter #b3 #ah1 #ai1 8,servants1 be subject to your masters with all fear1 not only to the good and gentle1 but also to the froward4 ,for this is thankworthy1 if a man1 for conscience toward ,god1 endure grief1 suffering wrongfully4 ,for what glory is it1 if when ye be buffeted for your faults ye take it patiently8 ,but1 if when ye do well1 and suffer for it1 ye take it patiently1 this is acceptable to ,god4 ,for even hereunto ye were called2 because ,christ also suffered for us1 leaving us an example that ye should follow his steps3 who did no sin1 neither was guile found in his mouth3 who1 when he was reviled1 reviled not again2 when he suffered he threatened not1 but committed himself to ,him that judgeth righteously40 ,now1 consider that these directions were given to persons1 taken contrary to their own wishes and the wishes of their parents1 and subjected to the most degrading servitude1 without any compensation4 ,such were required by ,god to 8be obedient in all things10 to 8please their masters well in all things20 not to answer again when reproved2 not to purloin2 but to show all good fidelity2 to do service with good will1 and not only to the good and gentle1 but also to the froward2 and to do all this1 not for the sake of pleasing men1 but to please ,christ4 ,now1 if all this was demanded of those who were made to serve by force1 what must be the duty of those who by their own will1 or by the will of parents1 go into a family to serve for a fair compensation previously agreed upon8 ,they go into a family1 where the house and all its furniture belong to their employers1 who therefore1 not only have power but a perfect right to direct how they shall be used4 ,they put themselves freely under the direction of their employers1 and agree to do their work as they wish it to be done1 and they receive a reward for this service4 ,their employers are appointed by ,god1 as the rulers and overseers of the family1 and those they hire are under obligation to obey1 in all matters relating to family work1 just as a citizen is under obligations to obey rulers1 when they administer the laws of the state4 ,the master and mistress of a family are rulers of their house1 just as magistrates are rulers of the people4 ,a gentleman of the highest standing for wealth1 intelligence1 and honour1 obeys his rulers in all points where they have a right to direct1 whether the laws are good or bad1 whether the rulers are wise or foolish4 ,so long as the people1 who have the power1 make such laws and appoint such rulers1 he submits and obeys until he and others can get the laws and rulers changed4 ,and every intelligent man feels that he is honoured in paying this respect to laws and rulers4 ,it should be just so in the family state4 ,whether the rulers of a family are wise or foolish1 whether they make good or bad rules about their work1 domestics1 as long as they agree to serve them1 should submit to their directions4 ,if they do not like the rulers1 or the laws of the family1 still they honour themselves in obeying1 until they can have a chance to change overseers and rules4 ,and all those directions1 which were given to persons forced to service against their own wishes1 are much more binding on those1 who of their own accord put themselves under the direction of the rulers of a family4 8,obey them that have the rule over you0 is the law of ,god1 given to domestics in the family state1 as much as it is to subjects in the political state4 ,and the only way to be freed from this obligation is1 to give up your place and relation as a domestic in a family4 ,there is another duty owed to those who have rule over us1 that in this country is not properly realized by any1 except it may be by the most sensible and intelligent part of the community4 ,it is the duty of treating all who are our superiors either in age1 character1 or station with respect4 ,the ,bible requires us to 8honour our father and mother10 whether they are good or bad1 wise or foolish4 ,it requires us to 8render honour to whom honour is due40 ,it requires us ever to 8be courteous0 whatever may be the situation of those we have to deal with4 ,now the rulers and overseers of a family are placed in a situation where they are entitled to respectful treatment from all in their household1 whatever may be their own character4 ,it is of the utmost importance that children be trained to treat their parents1 and all who have rule over them1 or who are in any way their superiors1 with respect1 and this is the chief reason why it is so important for domestics to do the same1 so as to set a proper example to children4 ,and all well educated and intelligent persons so well understand the importance of rendering respectful language and manners to all who are their superiors1 either in age1 relationship1 or station1 that they always feel themselves honoured by doing it4 ,see that well bred gentleman6 ,he is the governor of the state1 the most learned man at the bar1 the most wealthy man in the place1 one whom every one honours for his talents and virtues4 ,he is also the head and master of his own family1 in which resides his father1 broken down in mind by the decay of age4 ,the aged father enters the room1 and the learned and wise politician1 the master of the house and the governor of the state1 rises with respect1 speaks to him with the greatest reverence1 gives him the first place of honour and comfort1 and ever treats his opinions and wishes with deference and respect4 ,this is because this old man is his superior in age and relationship1 and every one admires the son for his good breeding and sense of propriety4 ,this same governor goes into the street and meets a worthy and respectable man1 who supports himself by the labour of his hands4 ,the governor bows to him1 and addresses him with a respectful air and manner4 ,this is because the man has a character which entitles him to respect1 and all admire the governor1 for his good breeding in rendering this respect4 ,take another case4 ,this governor goes out of office1 and a person of small talents and little worth1 by popular arts1 succeeds him4 ,there is a grand military parade1 and the new governor is reviewing the troops1 while the late governor is an officer under him4 ,this former governor steps out of his ranks to the present governor and says1 8,will your excellency allow me to go away a short time on some important business80 ,the governor replies1 8,not at present1 sir2 ,i am about to order a manuvre and shall need your aid40 ,the gentleman bows respectfully to the governor1 returns to his place1 and instead of feeling degraded1 he feels honoured in thus setting an example of respectful obedience to one1 who for the time is his superior1 and has rule over him4 ,and all observers honour him1 far more than they would if he had looked angry1 or refused to obey his superior in command4 ,real gentlemen pride themselves on rendering strict obedience1 and respectful language and manners to all1 who are in any manner their superiors in office or relationship4 ,in like manner1 real well bred ladies1 feel it to be for their own credit to treat those with courtesy or respect1 who have any claims either of character or relationship1 or office4 ,see that wealthy1 well educated and well bred lady6 ,a worthy1 respectable woman comes into her house to bring home some work that she was hired to do4 ,the lady salutes her with courtesy and respect1 offers her a seat1 and treats her with the same politeness of manner as she would render to the highest lady in the land4 ,and every observer feels that this is one mark of her good breeding1 which entitles her to the name of a 8real lady40 ,look now at that young woman6 ,why does every one call her vulgar and ill bred8 ,it is because she goes up with a careless and disrespectful air to all she meets1 and her tone and manner seem to say1 8,i am as good as you1 and ,i mean to let you know it40 ,she tells just what she thinks about them1 and their conduct1 contradicts their opinions flatly1 and makes no effort to show that she has any respect for them or their notions4 ,look now at her young companion1 whom all admire for lady-like manners4 ,she always speaks in a modest and respectful tone1 treats all with courtesy and respect1 seems to be thinking of the convenience and comfort of others as much as of her own1 and always avoids what will make those around her feel uneasy or uncomfortable4 ,these are the manners of a lady1 and if a domestic feels any ambition to be thought a well bred lady1 she can gain this character in no way so surely as by adopting this style of manners4 ,on this point ,i would commend to your notice that 8golden rule0 so good to direct in all our pursuits3 8,do unto others as you would that others should do unto you40 ,now if you ever have a family yourself1 and have persons to help you1 would you not think it right and proper that they should do your work as you wished it done8--and would you not feel that it was proper that your children should treat you with respect1 and that your domestics should set them a proper example in this particular8 ,no doubt you would1 and therefore do unto your employers as you would that others should do unto you1 if your circumstances are changed and you become employer instead of domestic4 ,there is an advantage to yourselves in doing this1 that you are not apt to realize4 ,a habit is the ease we acquire in doing any thing by frequently practising it4 ,now1 as one of the chief indications of good breeding is polite and respectful manners1 if you practise this mode of address to your employers1 you are gradually forming a habit that will make such a mode of address easy and natural4 ,this will be qualifying you to appear with advantage among well bred and well educated people4 ,now it very often happens1 in this country1 that a woman who goes to service1 marries a sensible1 industrious and business man1 who1 after some years1 acquires that wealth and influence that bring him and his family to associate with the best educated and best bred people in the place where he lives4 ,in this case1 a person1 who in the capacity of a domestic1 has cultivated the manners proper for a domestic1 will find that they are exactly the manners that fit her to appear like a well bred lady1 in the higher sphere to which she has risen4 ,on the contrary1 a domestic1 who is rude and disrespectful in her mode of address1 and unwilling to appear as if she honoured and respected those who have the rule over a family1 never can appear otherwise than as a coarse and vulgar person1 however much her husband's wealth and character may raise her in society4 ,it is therefore as much for your own advantage1 as it is for that of your employers and their children1 that you cultivate a habit of respectful address1 and of cheerful obedience to those who hire your services4 ,,letter ,x4 ,on ,visiting1 ,company1 and ,religious ,meetings4 ,on going out1 and having company4 ,religious meetings4 ,a story to illustrate4 ,there are some particulars where domestics feel that their employers have no right to control them1 and on these points ,i hope you will allow me1 as a friend1 to offer a little advice4 ,you perhaps may feel that it is your own concern what company you visit1 and who visit you1 and that1 after your work is done1 you have a right to go where you please without asking leave of your employers4 ,but here ,i wish you would try yourselves by 8the golden rule40 ,suppose you to look forward to a time when you are the mistress of a family1 and hire persons to help you do the work1 would you not in such a case feel thus3 ,i have hired these persons and pay them for their time1 and they have agreed to do my family work at the time and in the way ,i wish4 ,now they cannot know1 without asking1 when ,i can spare them and when ,i shall need their help4 ,there are always times when1 if the regular work of the day is done up1 some extra work1 or some sickness1 or other causes1 may make it needful for them to stay at home4 ,therefore1 ,i think it right to expect that those ,i hire will not either go out1 or invite company to come and see them1 without first inquiring of me whether it will be convenient4 ,do you not think you should feel and think thus8 ,now1 therefore1 whatsoever ye would that others should do unto you1 do ye the same unto them4 ,in obedience1 therefore1 to this law of ,christ1 ,i would advise you never to go out anywhere1 and never to invite persons to visit you1 without first inquiring of the mistress of the family whether it will be convenient to her4 ,in regard to selecting your companions1 remember the ,word of ,god1 8,he that walketh with the wise shall be wise1 but the companion of fools shall be destroyed40 ,there is nothing that so much influences our character and happiness1 as the companions we associate with1 and therefore it is of the utmost consequence that you find your associates among the most respectable1 amiable1 and conscientious persons1 and that you shun the society of the gay1 thoughtless and unprincipled4 ,there is another point where domestics feel that their employers have no right to control1 and this still more demands your attention1 in order that you may do what is right and best for yourselves4 ,i refer to the frequent attendance on evening meetings1 and the late hours which are sometimes the consequence of this4 ,now what ,i wish you to reflect on1 in reference to this1 ,i can best exhibit by relating another story4 ,a ,story4 ,once there was a very good king1 and he had a large residence at some distance from his court4 ,at this residence there was a large household of servants1 whose business it was to keep it in constant readiness1 so that whenever the king wished1 he could go there and find every thing in order4 ,now these servants were very apt to be careless and negligent of their business1 and often became so engrossed in their own amusements1 that they forgot entirely the business they were placed there to do4 ,in consequence of this1 the king used often to send messengers to them1 who would strive to keep them in order1 and who wrote down in a book the rules that should guide them in the performance of every duty4 ,but there still continued great havoc1 waste and misrule4 ,at last the only son of the king1 who was a very tender-hearted prince1 and loved these servants very much1 came among them2 for he feared that unless something was done1 when his father arrived1 they would all be turned away1 and become miserably poor and wretched4 ,so this excellent prince came and staid a long time with these servants2 he worked with them himself1 and showed them by his own example1 the right way of doing every thing2 and then he wrote down the rules in a book1 and placed it so that every one could go to it and learn their duties4 ,but it was not a long time after the prince returned to his father's court1 before all the servants were divided up into parties about the proper way of doing the work4 ,all agreed that the prince told them that his father would soon come1 that he would come suddenly and unexpectedly--and that it was his will that every part of the house should be cleansed1 and every thing put in order4 ,there was no dispute about this4 ,but the parties were divided in this manner3 ,a large portion of them maintained that the most important thing to be done was to have the water for cleaning house kept very hot1 and that it must be hot all the time--and so they spent most of their time in getting fuel and blowing the fire--and they would sit up sometimes half the night to make fires and keep the water hot4 ,and they considered themselves as the best servants in the house for their care and diligence in this respect1 and upbraided their companions for allowing so much coldness to get in the water they were to use4 ,then there was another portion that were very much excited about the manner in which the water was to be used4 ,they seemed to think it was indispensable that it should be poured on all over the floor1 so as to cover every part of it1 before commencing the use of the mop or floor cloth4 ,they insisted on it that this was the way the prince directed them to use it--that he had it put on in this manner himself1 and that1 in the book of directions1 he was very exact in stating that it must be used thus4 ,and they insisted upon it1 as one of the most important of all their duties1 that the water should be used in this particular way1 so that their thoughts and efforts were much taken up with this matter4 ,then there was another party1 and they thought that it was of the greatest consequence that the servants should understand who were to be their overseers to direct in the way the work was to be done4 ,they maintained that the young prince had expressly directed who should be overseers and who should not1 so that even if a man was well qualified to direct1 and his fellow servants were willing to be directed by him1 it would not do to go on so4 ,and they spent a great deal of time and labour and feeling1 in arguing with their fellow-servants to try to convince them that most of the overseers were not put in their place in the proper way1 and did not direct others in the proper manner4 ,then there was another large party1 who insisted that it was indispensable1 that their fellow servants should believe every thing that was written in the ,book of ,directions1 exactly according as they understood them4 ,they maintained that if men did not believe right they never could work right4 ,they were sure that they themselves did understand and believe the ,book of ,directions1 just as the prince intended1 and they spent a great deal of time in arguing and contending about what was to be believed4 ,and they insisted1 that before any man went to work in their part of the house he should declare what his belief was1 and how he understood the meaning of the directions in the book4 ,now all these things no doubt were important4 ,it certainly was needful to have the water hot1 and it was desirable that it should be put on the floors in the way directed by the prince1 and it was important that the proper overseers should direct the rest1 and that they should do it in the proper way1 and it was very important that the ,book of ,directions should be understood and believed1 in the sense intended by the young prince4 ,but the difficulty was1 that they became so much engrossed about the particular points where they differed1 that they were in danger of forgetting the great thing about which they all agreed1 viz4 the cleaning of the house4 ,and some of them got into such contentions about these matters1 that instead of cleaning the house1 they really made it more disorderly and unclean4 ,but there was a considerable number in all these parties1 who looked at these things more wisely4 ,and they managed matters in this way4 ,they concluded1 that as it was needful to have the water hot1 they would not hinder those who were heating it1 but get all the warm water they could from them1 or from any one else1 and go to cleaning the house with it4 ,they concluded that as they could not all agree as to the proper way of putting on the water1 that each should put it on in the way he believed the prince had taught1 and not quarrel with the rest1 who thought another way was right4 ,they thought it was important to have the right overseers1 and to have them direct the rest in a proper manner1 but as they could not bring this about1 they concluded to go to any place where they could do the most work1 and put themselves under the overseer who was there1 and do as well as they could4 ,they also concluded1 that though it was exceedingly important that all should understand and believe the directions written in the ,book1 yet as all did not agree in every thing1 it was best to join together in the point where they all did agree1 viz4 in cleaning the house4 ,and they comforted themselves in thinking of the promise of the young prince1 8,if any man will do his will he shall know of the doctrine40 ,so they concluded that the best way to satisfy their own minds and to convince others of the proper way of doing the work was1 to do it so diligently1 so orderly1 and so well1 that others would be convinced 8by seeing their good works10 and so would follow their example4 ,and it was these servants who really cleaned the house1 and1 so far as they could do it1 had every thing in readiness4 ,and when their ,lord and ,king arrived1 they met him without fear1 while he blessed them with a benignant smile1 and said unto them1 8,well done1 good and faithful servants1 enter ye into the joy of your ,lord40 ,now1 my friends1 this story illustrates what ,i wish to explain to you1 about religion and religious meetings4 ,we are placed in this world to form a character like that of ,god1 to become holy as he is holy1 for this is the only way to be happy4 ,jesus ,christ is 8,god manifest in the flesh10 and 8in him dwelleth all the fulness of the ,godhead bodily10 and one great object he had in coming into this world was1 to show us what the character of ,god is1 that we may know how to become like him4--,and while here1 he set us an example of the way in which we are to 8cleanse our hearts0 from all evil1 so that he and his ,father can come and make their abode with us4 ,he did every thing which we shall be called to do1 as a perfect example for us1 and when he returned to his ,father's court1 he left a ,book of ,instructions for us all to use1 that we may learn how to cleanse our hearts and lives from all sin4 ,now1 we find that there are many parties among the servants of ,christ1 that differ a great deal about the best way of doing this great work4 ,some think it is very important to have a great many meetings1 and to read and pray and sing a great deal1 in order to keep our feelings warm1 and this they think is more important than any thing else4 ,others think it is very important that we should be baptized in the proper manner1 and at the proper time4 ,others think it very important1 that those who are rulers and overseers in the church1 should be ordained in the proper manner1 and that they should direct their people aright1 as to the forms and rites of the church4 ,others think it very important to believe in the right doctrines of religion1 and that it is best to take great care1 not to have any belong to their particular church1 who do not believe the doctrines of the ,bible as they do4 ,but they all agree1 that the great work to be done1 after all1 is to cleanse the heart and life1 by following the example of our ,lord ,jesus ,christ4--,he taught us to live not for ourselves but for ,him--and to make it 7as he did7 our meat and drink to do the will of our ,father in heaven4 ,he taught us to deny ourselves daily1 by restraining all harmful passions and desires1 and1 as he did1 to go about doing good1 in the humblest sphere in which we may be placed4 ,now1 there is no dispute at all about this great duty4 ,and all agree1 that the things they differ about1 are of no importance1 except as they tend to promote a conformity of heart and life to the character and example of ,christ4 ,those who spend the most time in religious exercises and meetings1 consider that it is important to do so1 only because it tends to make them more like ,christ--and those who think so much of baptism1 and ordination1 and of believing the true doctrines1 suppose that these things are important1 only because they will lead us to become like ,christ4 ,there is not any minister of any denomination1 who1 if you ask him about these things1 will not tell you1 that ,i am right in all ,i have said about this matter4 ,now1 if this is true1 then we have a rule for judging how much it is proper to go to meetings and to attend to religious exercises4 ,we go to such meetings1 and attend such exercises1 to warm our feelings and excite our minds1 in order that we may do all our duties better4 ,there is no merit in reading and singing and hearing1 nor is there any use in great enjoyment or great feeling1 unless these things tend to make us more gentle1 meek1 humble1 faithful and diligent in our duties to ,god and men4 ,and if we are baptized in the right way1 and have the right ministers1 and the right services1 and the right doctrines preached1 it is all of no value to us1 unless we improve them so as to become more and more like ,christ4 ,remember1 then1 that your object in reading and praying and in going to meetings should be1 that you may become more faithful1 kind1 obliging1 industrious1 and exemplary in all respects4 ,i fear a great many people pray1 and read the ,bible1 and go to meetings and try to get up a great deal of feeling1 and think that this is being religious4 ,but this is no more being religious than heating water is cleaning a house4 ,it is only a course of means appointed by ,god to enable us to accomplish the great object of life2 which is to form such a character as prepares us for ,heaven2 or in other words1 to become like ,jesus ,christ4 ,i would advise you1 therefore1 when you are deciding whether you shall go to a meeting1 and how long you shall stay1 to inquire1 ,will this best prepare me to be patient1 long-suffering1 meek1 industrious and faithful in all my duties8 ,and if you think1 that by going1 you shall run the risk of injuring your health1 and so of lessening your usefulness1 or that you shall stay so late as to be tired and sleepy next morning1 or unfitted in any way to perform your duties well1 ,i pray you not to go4 ,and if you think that religious privileges do not tend to make you more and more like ,christ1 ,i beseech you remember the dreadful condemnation of those who are exalted by privileges even to ,heaven1 only to be thrust down to ,hell4 ,now ,i hope you will not misunderstand what ,i have said4 ,i do not say that you or any body else go to meetings too much1 or think too much of religious teachings1 singing and prayer4 ,i am afraid that most of us do not value these blessed means enough4 ,but ,i am afraid that there are many of you who look upon these things as religion1 when in reality they are nothing but the means ,god has appointed1 in order to lead us to become religious4 ,a true ,christian1 a really converted person1 is one who is making it the chief interest and aim of life to become like ,christ1 and all these religious means are of no use1 except so far as they tend to produce conformity of heart and life to the precepts and example of ,christ4 ,if this be the case1 then persons who go to meetings to meet companions1 or to while away time1 or to get their feelings wrought up to a high state1 and do not use their religious privileges as means to make them more humble1 submissive1 gentle1 kind1 industrious and faithful in every duty1 are making their blessings a curse4 ,and when you take time from your ordinary employments1 or time from the hours usually given to sleep1 ,i hope you will always ask yourselves this question3 8,am ,i going to this meeting in order that ,i may come home and be more and more like ,jesus ,christ80 ,and if you do not find that this is your reason for going1 beware lest the awful condemnation that awaits those who abuse and pervert religious privileges1 fall upon your guilty head4 ,and here ,i would add1 that no rule can be given as to how much we ought to attend religious exercises4 ,some persons are reflective1 and serious1 and remember and feel what they hear a great while4 ,others are light1 trifling and forgetful1 and very soon lose any serious impressions4 ,the first class do not need such frequent instructions and opportunities as the last class4 ,and every person must judge for herself1 how much time and attention is needful for her to give to religious duties1 and not be censorious on others1 who think it best for them to take another course4 ,,letter ,,xi4 ,,on ,,health4 ,importance of health to domestics4 ,modes by which they injure health4 ,my ,friends3 ,much of the ill health among persons in your employment is entirely needless4 ,you have employments1 usually1 that tend to strengthen the constitution and maintain firm health1 and as a class you have far more health and strength than those who do not labour4 ,now1 good health is the greatest of all blessings1 for without it1 no matter how many other blessings we have1 we cannot enjoy life4 ,many and many a woman in this land1 who has wealth1 and ease1 and education1 and friends1 and every thing that wealth can purchase1 goes about gloomy and sick at heart1 because disease has spread its dark shroud over all the enjoyments of life4 ,but it is a far greater misfortune to persons in your situation to lose health1 than to persons who have wealth and a comfortable home4 ,when you are sick1 you have no parents or family friends around you1 to nurse and sympathize2 you know that the family you live in have not only lost your services1 but are obliged to wait upon you1 and you feel that you are a burden4 ,you may have no home to go to1 or your home may be so comfortless that you had rather stay among strangers2 your wages stop1 and if you have any little earnings laid up1 they must go to pay for medicines and a physician4 ,all these things make it of the utmost consequence1 that you take good care of your health4 ,and yet1 ,i am sorry to say1 that ,i know of no class of persons who seem to be so careless and imprudent in regard to health4 ,we see domestics go out from the wash-tub in a profuse perspiration1 to stand in the wind and hang out wet clothes1 and that too1 without any thing on the head1 or any shawl or cloak on4 ,we see them go out in leaky shoes and wet their feet1 and then sit a whole evening in company1 or a meeting1 with their feet wet and cold4 ,we see them sleeping in close chambers1 or sitting hour after hour in crowded rooms for religious worship1 breathing an atmosphere that is absolutely poisonous1 without knowing that they are thus injuring their health4 ,and there are many other ways in which they are wearing down their constitutions1 without being aware of it4 ,i do not think ,i can possibly make you feel the importance of the advice ,i am about to offer1 without your understanding more than you do1 about the construction of your own bodies4 ,and ,i wish ,i could get you to read a few chapters in a book ,i have written called 8,domestic ,economy10 in which ,i have described how the interior of your bodies is formed1 and drawn pictures to explain what ,i say1 so that ,i think you could easily understand the matter4 ,and if you ever come across that work1 ,i hope you will read the ,chapter on the ,care of ,health1 and the five or six chapters that follow it4 ,but ,i will here tell you some things1 which ,i think you can understand without any pictures4 ,you know that we take food and drink into our stomach to support and continue life4 ,now this food is changed into a soft mass in the stomach1 and then passes through long winding intestines1 that are folded up below the stomach4 ,as it passes through these intestines1 there are multitudes of little hollow tubes1 small as hairs1 that pump out the nourishment and carry it to a particular blood-vessel1 when it is emptied into the heart1 and mixes with the blood4 ,this is the way the blood is constantly renewed4 ,now it is the blood that thus conveys strength and nourishment to every part of the body4 ,there is no part of the body1 within or without1 that has not a vast many small blood-vessels1 running in every direction1 that carry the blood to nourish all parts4 ,but there are more blood-vessels in the skin than anywhere else1 so that the quantity of blood in our skin is greater than all that is to be found1 in all the rest of the body put together4 ,all the matter received from our food which is nourishing and useful1 is taken up by the different parts of the body1 and the rest is thrown out by the lungs1 the bowels1 the bladder and the skin4 ,when we draw air into our lungs1 the noxious and useless portions of the blood in the lungs1 combine with it1 and are then sent out of our lungs4 ,the bowels and bladder also1 eject a portion of useless matter from the body4 ,but the chief labour of relieving the body from useless matter in the blood1 is done by the skin4 ,if you could look at the skin through a microscope1 you would see the little mouths of the blood-vessels all over the skin1 which are constantly pouring out this useless matter from the blood4 ,if1 in a warm day1 you bring a cool mirror near your skin1 yet not so as to touch it1 you will see a thin dew1 or vapour1 settle on the mirror4 ,this is the invisible exhalation1 which is constantly coming out from the mouths of the small blood-vessels1 all over the skin4 ,experiments have often been made1 to find out how much matter is thus thrown out of the body by the skin1 and it is found that in a grown person1 it is never less than a pound and a quarter in twenty-four hours1 and most men that have experimented say that it is much more4 ,but all agree1 that the skin throws out more of the useless and noxious matter from the body1 than the lungs1 bladder and bowels all together4 ,you can now understand the evil done by sitting with wet feet1 or going into cold and damp air without proper covering4 ,cold always operates to make the skin shrink up1 and the little mouths of the blood-vessels are thus closed1 so that the skin cannot perform its office properly4 ,in consequence of this1 the blood is not relieved of its noxious matter4 ,the effect of this1 is sometimes one thing1 and sometimes another4 ,sometimes1 stopping the action of the skin produces a fever1 and then the body is tormented with restlessness1 pain and heat4 ,sometimes1 when the skin stops its labours1 the other organs try to do double duty1 to relieve the body4 ,in this case1 either the bowels or bladder become affected and discharge profusely1 or the lungs accumulate a great quantity of this useless matter1 which is coughed up in the form of phlegm4 ,sometimes the head and throat are affected1 and water runs from the eyes and nose1 while the lungs also cough up phlegm4 ,what is commonly called a cold in the head1 or a cold on the lungs1 is caused by the shutting up of the blood-vessels of the skin by cold1 so that the lungs1 eyes1 and head are obliged to perform a part of the offices that the skin ordinarily performs4 ,now when a person is labouring by a fire1 or at washing or ironing1 the blood is made to circulate much faster1 and the noxious matter is thrown out more abundantly4 ,at such times the matter thrown out by the skin becomes visible in the form of drops of sweat4 ,of course the more of this matter is to be thrown out by the skin1 the more dangerous it is to have the openings of the skin shrunk up by cold4 ,therefore1 it is very important for persons who labour1 to take very great care not to allow themselves to be chilled when in a state of perspiration4 ,wetting the feet often produces the same effect on the body1 as chilling the skin in a perspiration4 ,you understand now1 why it is that ,i earnestly entreat you1 never to go out and stand in the cold1 when you are in a perspiration1 and always to be careful to dress warm whenever you go out doors for any purpose1 and never to sit with damp feet4 ,one single act of carelessness in these respects1 may bring on a fever1 or a bowel complaint1 or an affection of the lungs1 or liver1 or eyes1 or head1 that may lay you up for months1 or even end your life4 ,what ,i have told you about the construction of the skin1 shows the importance of another piece of advice ,i would give you4 ,do you know1 that we are almost the only well informed nation in the world1 that do not frequently wash the body all over8 ,there were some nations in old times1 that knew that this was so important to health and comfort1 that they always had public baths made1 so that rich and poor might bathe every day without expense4 ,and in many countries1 the best informed people would not think of going two days without washing the whole of their bodies1 any more than you would think of going so long1 without washing your face and hands4 ,and the reason of this is1 that the skin is interrupted in its duties by any accumulation of matter upon it4 ,the little mouths of the blood-vessels must be kept open and free1 or they cannot fully perform their offices4 ,now1 as the skin throws out at least a pound and a half a day1 of this useless and noxious matter1 where the clothing comes tight to the skin1 it cannot all pass off freely1 and a part is deposited on the skin4 ,this ought to be washed off every day1 or else the skin has its pores to some extent filled up1 and its duties are impeded4 ,in consequence of this1 humours on the skin1 or in the eyes1 or some affection of the head1 or lungs1 or liver1 or bowels1 or some other part of the body1 often ensue4 ,some people have such strong constitutions1 that they can bear to go all their lives1 and never wash their bodies properly1 and yet never seem to experience any injury1 but there is no doubt that many are suffering painful and troublesome affections1 that never would have come upon them1 if they had taken proper care of their skin4 ,for this reason ,i advise you to keep a bowl and pitcher of water in your room1 and to sponge your body all over when you go to bed1 either in lukewarm or cold water4 ,it will not take you more than ten minutes1 and it may save you from much trouble4 ,i have told you1 that the lungs also are employed to help purify the blood4 ,it is done in this way4 ,the air we breathe is made so1 that when it comes into the lungs1 it combines with the noxious portions of the blood in the lungs1 and then is returned again1 when we breathe out the air4 ,if1 therefore1 a person is shut up in a small1 close room for a long time1 the air of the room1 after a while1 is filled with this injurious matter which is sent out of the lungs4 ,in this state it is unfit to breathe4 ,breathing it sometimes produces drowsiness1 weakness1 stupidity of feelings1 and sometimes sickness at the stomach1 or fainting4 ,indeed1 there is no suffering so horrible as that produced by breathing air1 which is entirely made of air breathed from the lungs4 ,to illustrate this1 ,i will mention a case of some gentlemen1 who were once shut up by a cruel tyrant in a very small room1 with a very little window in it4 ,there were so many that they had not room to lie down or even sit1 and in a few hours1 so many breaths had filled the room entirely1 with this noxious vapor4 ,the distress thus produced was horrible4 ,they groaned and screamed for mercy to the guard of soldiers4 ,they begged them to shoot them and put an end to their torments4 ,at length they began to fight1 to get at the only opening there was for air1 and struggled and fought for breath1 and tried to strangle each other1 till all were dead except the few1 who could get their faces near the window2 and these in the morning had not strength to stand1 and looked more like corpses than like living men4 ,there is nothing1 then1 more pernicious to health1 than sitting1 or sleeping in rooms where the air is loaded with the air breathed out of the lungs4 ,for this reason1 ,i advise you never to go to bed1 till you have secured a good supply of pure air4 ,open your door into an entry1 or make a crack in your window1 or contrive some other way to keep pure air in your room4 ,if you have an open fire-place1 this is sufficient1 as then1 the fresh air falls down the chimney from out doors4 ,but if you have a close stove in your room1 or have a room with no fire-place1 be sure always to have your door open1 or a small opening in your window4 ,if you do not take this precaution1 though you may not feel the evil1 because it is so slow and gradual1 you may be sure that your constitution is gradually growing weaker1 so that diseases will more easily be induced1 and thus that your life will be shortened4 ,one other thing about the lungs4 ,any person who wears clothing so tight1 that they cannot expand the chest as easily as they can when undressed1 is doing the same sort of mischief4 ,when the waist is constrained by tight clothing1 some parts of the lungs are so impeded and compressed1 that the air cannot enter the air vessels4 ,the consequence is1 the blood is not properly purified1 and often1 from this cause1 ulcers form in the lungs4 ,tight dressing is one of the most frequent causes of consumption and dyspepsia1 for dyspepsia is often brought on by such tightness of dress1 that the stomach and the other organs around it1 are impeded in their duties4 ,it is very important for health1 that persons who labour should have enough sleep1 and it is also important that they do not sleep too much4 ,if they do not sleep enough1 the strength and health slowly decay1 and if they sleep too much1 the same effect is produced4 ,seven or eight hours1 is the amount of sleep that is needed by persons who labour1 and none ought to sleep more than eight hours1 unless they are sick4 ,if you will take care of your teeth1 by washing them with fair water and a brush1 when you go to bed and get up1 you probably will save yourselves from teeth-ache1 and from the early loss of teeth4 ,not that this care will always prevent these evils4 ,a disordered stomach1 or a weakness of the nerves1 will often induce pain and decay1 for which there is no prevention1 or remedy4 ,but your chances of keeping your teeth1 and of escaping tooth-ache1 are much increased by removing with a brush1 every night and morning1 the tartar which the spittle deposits on the teeth and gums1 during the night and through the day4 ,this tartar injures the gums1 and tends to make the teeth decay4 ,there are some other causes of ill health that ,i will point out4 ,one is1 drinking strong tea or coffee4 ,these drinks always stimulate the nervous system1 in a way similar to the effects of intoxicating drinks1 and though they are not so injurious or dangerous1 yet1 in many cases1 they produce weak nerves1 indigestion1 teeth-ache1 head-ache1 and various nervous complaints4 ,if1 then1 you use these drinks1 ,i advise you to use them very weak4 ,in my youth ,i did not love them1 but after ,i was twenty1 ,i learned to love them quite strong1 and did not love them weak4 ,when ,i was convinced that they were injurious1 ,i began to drink them very weak2 and though at first they seemed very flat1 ,i persevered1 until ,i learned to love them weak1 and now ,i do not love them strong4 ,i mention this to show that our taste can be changed4 ,i advise you therefore to try the experiment1 and after you have drank them a month or two very weak1 ,i think you will love them as well as you now love them strong4 ,at any rate1 you will escape the dangers that always attend the use of tea and coffee1 as most persons drink them4 ,and ,i believe that it is sinful to run any risk of injuring one's health1 for the sake of drinking what we love best1 when another drink is just as good for us1 and is far more safe4 ,in regard to eating1 ,i believe a person in health1 who labours all day1 may eat almost any thing with safety4 ,but a person in delicate health1 or with a disordered stomach1 ought to be careful to notice what food produces uncomfortable feelings1 and avoid it4 ,for nothing wears down health faster1 than to eat food that the stomach cannot digest1 and when this occurs a warning is often given by unpleasant feelings after eating4 ,eating too often1 is a frequent cause of disease4 ,this is done1 because people do not know how hard the stomach has to work1 after food is put into it4 ,but if we could look within us at all that is going on1 we should see1 that as soon as any food is put into the stomach1 its muscles are all set to work to move the food about and mix it with the gastric juice which is to dissolve it1 so that the stomach actually is working as hard as the arms would work1 in sweeping or in hammering at the anvil4 ,now the stomach needs to rest awhile1 after its work1 and therefore1 four or five hours ought to elapse after eating1 before any more food is put into the stomach4 ,this gives time for the stomach to do up its work1 and have a little time to rest4 ,but a person1 who is frequently putting food into the stomach1 keeps it at work all the time1 and thus it becomes weak and disordered from over-working4 ,for this reason1 ,i advise you not to eat except at your regular meals4 ,if you have weak eyes1 always shade them from the glare of the fire or candles in the evening1 and never use them before breakfast either to read or sew4 ,the eyes are weaker before breakfast than at any other time4 ,the reason is1 that they have been long shut up1 so as to be unused to the light1 and sleep always weakens the body to a certain extent1 until a new supply of food gives the blood the nourishment it has lost1 by the exhalations of the body during the night4 ,taking food or drink very warm1 is injurious to the teeth and stomach4 ,if you should hold one of your fingers in hot water1 half an hour1 three times a day1 you would find that it was very much weakened4 ,the same effect is produced on the nerves of the mouth1 teeth1 and stomach1 by the use of hot food and drinks4 ,pepper1 mustard1 and spices also tend to injure the health of the stomach1 by stimulating it too much4 ,,letter ,,xii4 ,,on ,,dress1 ,,manners1 ,,and ,,language4 ,dress should be conformed to means and to occupations4 ,rules of good manners4 ,my ,friends3 ,i have shown you1 in a former letter1 that the chief reason why so much difference is made1 between domestics and other members of the family1 is their deficiencies in education1 dress and manners4 ,if domestics were universally well educated and well bred1 and if they paid a proper attention to their dress and persons1 then parents would feel that their example would be useful instead of injurious to children1 while their presence would be agreeable and not offensive to visitors4 ,it is therefore very desirable1 on your own account1 and that you may raise the respectability of your station1 7as well as on account of parents and children17 that you pay great attention to these particulars4 ,i will therefore point out some of those respects1 in which you need to attend to your manners1 in order to be a good example to children1 and to be fitted to appear well in any society in which in after life you may appear4 ,good manners are the outward expression of kindness and good will1 by which we endeavour to promote the enjoyment of others1 and to avoid all that gives needless pain4 ,good manners lead us to avoid every thing that offends the taste of others1 and to regard all the rules of politeness and propriety4 ,good manners lead us to avoid all rude and coarse language or actions1 and to refrain from all remarks that would trouble those about us in any way4 ,i will now point out some particulars4 ,in the first place1 there are rules of good manners in regard to our superiors in age1 character1 station or office1 which demand attention4 ,in addressing such1 it is proper to speak in a respectful tone and manner1 and to add 8sir0 and 8ma'am0 to 8yes0 and 8no0 when we reply to them4 ,this should be done by young persons to older ones1 by children to parents1 by scholars to teachers1 and by domestics to their employers1 and to visitors in the family4 ,at the same time1 it is proper to offer the best accommodations of all kinds to one who is thus to be treated as a superior4 ,another rule of good manners is1 to return thanks to any person who does us any kindness4 ,it is deemed very ill bred to receive a present1 or any little act of attention1 without any manifestation of pleasure or gratitude4 ,another rule is1 never to use what belongs to another without asking leave1 and never to ask questions about the business or dress1 or concerns of other people1 unless we are on intimate terms with them4 ,another rule of good breeding is1 never to make remarks to others on their personal defects1 or dress1 or faults1 and never to speak in such a way of their opinions1 or their friends1 as to vex or mortify them4 ,always1 when persons speak to you1 look them in the face1 and reply in a courteous manner4 ,never laugh or whisper in company so that others cannot hear1 lest they may imagine that you are ridiculing them1 or speaking against them4 ,loud laughing and talking in company1 and whispering1 and smiling at church1 are deemed rude and vulgar4 ,interrupting a person when talking1 and flatly contradicting1 are considered rude4 ,there are some personal tricks which should be avoided1 as vulgar and offensive1 such as fingering the hair1 picking the teeth1 or cleaning the nails1 picking the nose1 spitting on the floor1 snuffing1 instead of using the handkerchief1 or using the handkerchief in a disgusting manner1 fingering the shoes1 throwing about the feet1 lolling on chairs1 tipping chairs backward1 staring at people1 calling persons by nicknames1 running out bareheaded into the street1 calling to persons in the street1 running in the street1 and eating in the street1 or in a public assembly4 ,another branch of good breeding relates to table manners4 ,when at table1 avoid all these things3 reaching over the plates of others2 standing up to reach articles2 instead of asking to have them passed to you2 using your own knife for butter or salt1 when it is the custom of the family to use a butter knife and salt spoon2 setting dripping cups on the table cloth when cup mats1 or plates1 are provided2 using the table cloth instead of your handkerchief2 eating fast1 and in a noisy manner2 putting large pieces in the mouth2 looking1 and eating as if you were very hungry1 or very anxious to get at certain dishes2 sitting too far from the table1 or too near to it2 projecting your elbows when using the knife and fork2 dropping food in your lap2 laying the knife and fork on the table cloth1 instead of on the bread1 or your plate2 putting your own knife or fork into the dishes1 instead of asking to be helped2 taking too large a share of some favourite article2 making a noise in sipping tea1 or eating soups2 leaning on the table with your elbows2 lolling back in your chair at table1 and taking food with your own fork from the dishes1 instead of asking to be helped4 99 99 99 99 99 ,in regard to dress1 the great rule of propriety and good taste is1 always to dress clean and tidy1 and always to have your dress suited to your means1 and your employment4 ,this is the rule that regulates persons of good sense and good taste1 in all classes and ranks4 ,if a woman wears ever so elegant and expensive clothing1 and yet her hair is in disorder and her dress untidy1 every one feels that she is dressed in bad taste4 ,if a woman has a small income1 and yet appears in dresses and ornaments that are suitable only for persons of great wealth1 every one pities or laughs at her for her want of taste and propriety4 ,if a woman puts on expensive and handsome dresses to work in1 no matter how rich she is1 every one feels that it looks vulgar and improper4 ,there is nothing that more surely marks the well bred1 well educated woman1 than the style of her dress4 ,if she has small means she will dress simply and economically1 if she is very wealthy1 she will wear rich and handsome clothing1 but not tawdry finery or loads of ornaments4 ,if she is doing work that soils clothing1 she puts on dark and cheap articles1 if she is going on a journey1 she puts on a dress that dust will not injure1 and leaves off all her ornaments4 ,if she is going out in the cold and wet1 she puts on stout and warm covering for her feet and person4 ,now there is no point where domestics so often show their want of good education and good taste1 as in the choice of their dress4 ,every one knows that the income of a domestic is very small1 and that they are daily employed in work that soils a dress4 ,when1 therefore1 domestics appear in dresses suitable only for persons who have wealth1 and employments that do not soil dresses1 every one feels1 that for want of a good education1 they are deficient in good taste and a sense of propriety4 ,the same opinion is formed of all persons who have small means1 and who labour for a support1 when they rig out in showy and expensive dresses4 ,a domestic who has good sense and good taste1 will always dress neatly1 plainly1 and in materials suitable to the work she performs4 ,there are few things more annoying to visitors1 or to the master and mistress of a family1 than to have food served at table1 by domestics whose hands1 hair1 and dress are untidy4 ,i have repeatedly known the gentleman of the house whisper to his wife to send the person waiting on table out of the room1 because he had rather wait on himself1 than to have such a disgusting object before his eyes4 ,i would therefore earnestly recommend1 that always before you come down in the morning1 you put your hair in neat order1 and that you so braid or tie it up1 that it will not get out of order while you are at work4 ,also1 that you take pains to have dark clothing for your work1 and that it always be kept neat and tidy4 ,it is a good plan1 also1 to keep a supply of large1 clean aprons1 to slip on when you cannot change your dress1 and yet wish to go into the parlour4 ,and ,i pray you not to spend all your earnings in showy dresses1 that1 to all sensible people1 make you appear foolish and ignorant of all propriety4 ,it is far better to buy strong1 and plain dresses1 and lay up your earnings to buy furniture1 if you ever become a housekeeper1 or to support you in sickness1 or old age1 if you never marry4 ,there are ,savings ,banks in almost all our cities1 where you can lay up small earnings1 and receive interest for them1 so as to increase their value every year2 and there is less risk in putting money into these banks1 than in any other way1 because their business is arranged for the purpose of making them safe4 ,there is another point1 to which ,i would especially urge attention1 and that is1 to the improvement of your mind by reading1 and when you can do so1 by study4 ,the greatest disadvantages domestics have to meet1 are caused by their want of a good education4 ,it is owing to the want of such advantages1 that they are so apt to be untidy in appearance1 rude and disrespectful in manner1 and vulgar in their pronunciation and language4 ,now1 though you may be in such a situation that you cannot go to a school1 yet if you will be diligent and economical in time and dress1 you can do a great deal to improve your education4 ,there are few families where there is not some lady1 who would be willing to hear you read1 or recite a lesson for half an hour every day1 if you expressed a wish so to do4 ,and you would also be provided with books to read and study1 at little or no expense1 if you appeared to be anxious to learn1 and were faithful and diligent1 in order to gain time4 ,and the more you read and study1 the more your character1 manners1 and habits will be likely to improve4 ,some persons imagine that a good education injures persons in your station1 by making them proud and discontented4 ,but this is a great mistake4 ,the most faithful1 diligent1 agreeable1 and respectable domestics ,i ever saw1 were those who had the best education1 while those who are ignorant1 have not sense and information enough1 to see the propriety of conforming to their situation and duties4 ,if this country were thrown into the situation in which the shipwrecked company were1 and every one had to draw lots to decide who should be employers and who domestics1 there would be some well educated and some very ignorant persons put together in the class of domestics4 ,in this case ,i should much prefer to hire a well educated person1 for ,i should expect that such a one would be far more likely to have respectful and courteous manners1 and that she would conform to the duties of her lot with far more propriety than an ignorant and vulgar person4 ,i hope1 therefore1 that you will improve every opportunity you can gain to read and study1 and ,i would advise you also to notice how well educated persons pronounce1 and try to acquire a similar way of speaking4 ,in selecting books to read1 get some judicious friend to choose for you1 and in studying1 never be so foolish as to study ,french1 or ,latin1 or try to play the piano1 or any such accomplishment1 which is suitable only for persons who have wealth and leisure4 ,by following this advice about your manners1 dress and language1 and by faithfully endeavouring to perform all your duties to ,god and your fellow creatures1 you will find1 that every day1 you will gain in the esteem and good will of all around you1 and that few will be found with that silly pride which will make them shun your society because you are a domestic4 ,on the contrary1 your employers and their children1 will love and respect you1 and be pleased to procure for you all the comforts and advantages they can secure1 consistently with the convenience and prosperity of the family4 ,,letter ,,xiii4 ,trials of domestics and remedy for these trials4 ,fault-finding4 ,want of comforts and conveniences1 c4 ,my ,friends3 ,every situation in life has its peculiar trials1 and it is wise beforehand1 to understand what our trials must be1 and what is the best way of meeting them4 ,god did not put us into this world to find enjoyment by gratifying all our desires1 but he intended that we should form such a character1 as will enable us to feel happy in giving up our will and wishes to him and to others1 whenever it is needful4 ,those1 therefore1 are not the most fortunate1 who have the fewest trials to meet1 but those rather1 who best learn to be patient and cheerful1 whatever may be their lot1 or the trials which it involves4 ,many are apt to suppose1 that when people have beautiful houses1 and fine clothes1 and a plenty of money1 and opportunities to read1 and visit1 and see the world1 that they must be happy4 ,but the most miserable persons ,i have known1 were persons who had all these things2 while some of the happiest persons ,i ever saw1 were those whom the world call poor1 and who had none of these advantages4 ,the rich have as many wishes and wants ungratified as the poor1 for the more they get the more they want4 ,at the same time1 as they often have nothing to do but to amuse and gratify themselves1 they are not so likely to form those habits of self-denial1 patience1 and benevolence1 which are the true source of enjoyment4 ,this is the reason why the ,saviour says1 8,how hardly shall they that have riches1 enter the kingdom of ,heaven40 ,the kingdom of ,heaven consists1 not in meat and drink and costly raiment1 nor in any earthly goods1 but in 8righteousness and peace40 ,and this righteousness and peace are much more easily found in humble life1 than among the rich1 the proud and the gay4 ,it is true that it is a blessing to be rich1 if we only use riches in the proper way4 ,but riches bring such temptations1 that few have strength and wisdom sufficient to stand1 so that it is often that riches are a curse rather than a blessing4 ,why is it so common to see the children of rich parents growing poor and vicious1 while the children of the poor grow up industrious1 virtuous and rich8 ,it is because the children of the rich are brought up in ease and indulgence1 while the children of the poor are brought up to industry and self-denial4 ,if any person will count up the rich men in our country1 he will find1 that not one in ten had rich parents4 ,and then if he will look at the descendants of rich families he will find1 that probably more than half are very poor1 and a great many are miserable vagabonds in society4 ,i mention these things to lead you to realize1 that your happiness in this life consists not in being rich1 or well dressed1 or in any outward advantage1 but rather in such a character as enables you to meet the duties and trials of your lot with patient cheerfulness1 and faithful diligence4 ,i will now mention some of the trials which domestics are most frequently called to endure1 and point out the proper way of meeting them4 ,one of the greatest and most frequent trials of domestics is1 the fault-finding to which they are constantly exposed4 ,now1 whether a person deserves to be blamed or not1 this is a great trial to the patience4 ,if we are to blame1 we not only are pained to see the mischief we have done1 but we are pained to be reproached by others1 and at the same time to feel that it is indeed our own fault1 and that we deserve it4 ,if we are not to blame1 it seems very hard to be upbraided1 but in many cases this is not half so hard to bear1 as to be blamed when we know we deserve it4 ,now there are two dangers to which we are exposed from this cause4 ,if we live with a person who finds fault a great deal1 the first danger is1 that we shall grow sullen1 or irritable1 and then show a bad temper1 by disrespectful and angry words and deportment4 ,the other danger is1 that we shall become so used to it as not to care any thing about it4 ,i have seen the children and domestics of women who find fault a great deal1 look and act as if they did not care one cent about what was said to them1 and sometimes they look as if they were more amused than pained at the anger and impatience displayed by those who rule over them4 ,now1 it is our duty1 if we really have by forgetfulness1 or ignorance1 neglected or illy performed our duty1 not only to be sorry1 but to show those whom we have thus troubled1 that we feel sorry4 ,nothing so soon ends such troubles1 as for the person who has done wrong to appear as if she was really sorry for it4 ,whenever therefore you have your mistakes or faults pointed out1 do not seek to justify yourself1 and do not1 if possible1 show any anger4 ,if you feel irritated1 do not speak till you can speak without anger1 and then say1 8,i am sorry10 or something else of the kind1 that shows regret on your part for the trouble you have caused4 ,after you have said this1 then is the proper time to tell your excuses4 ,if you begin to justify or excuse before you have expressed any regret1 in nine cases out of ten1 it does more harm than good4 ,another thing will very much aid you in bearing this evil1 and that is1 trying to imagine yourself in the situation of the one you have displeased1 and thinking whether you should do any differently yourself4 ,how do you behave when you depend on some child or companion to do something1 and by ignorance or carelessness the thing is left undone or is spoilt8 ,do you shut up your mouth and utter not a word of complaint1 or fault-finding8 ,try for one week to go without finding fault with any body1 or any thing that crosses your plans or wishes1 and see how hard it is to refrain6 ,now a housekeeper is constantly having things done wrong1 or not done at all1 which she feels anxious to have accomplished properly1 and it is one of the most difficult duties in the world to bear silently and patiently all these vexations and disappointments4 ,you should therefore try to feel kindly for these troubles of your employer1 and when you see her patience fails1 think how many cares and perplexities she meets1 and how difficult you would find it1 if you were in her place1 to bear them patiently4 ,there is another thing you must consider1 and that is1 that many women think it is their duty always to tell the persons whom they employ whenever they do wrong1 and they do not suppose that it is wrong to show anger and impatience at such trials4 ,at least1 they talk as if it was right for them to manifest anger and impatience1 if there is just cause for displeasure4 ,very few persons are aware how much better it is not to speak at all1 when they are angry1 and how much more good it does to talk with children and domestics about their faults or mistakes1 in a kind way1 when neither side feels out of humour4 ,there are a great many women who would be more considerate and careful in this matter1 if they only supposed it was their duty so to do4 ,and here you should inquire of yourselves too1 8,do ,i feel it to be a duty not to complain1 or find fault when ,i feel angry8 ,can ,i command my temper and tongue so as not to reply in angry and disrespectful tones when others blame me8 ,do ,i set a guard on my lips1 that ,i sin not with my tongue8 ,do ,i every day pray to ,god to enable me to be patient at the faults of others1 and meek in receiving rebuke for my own8 ,do ,i1 when ,i have sinned by angry tones and language1 confess my sin to ,christ1 and ask for his strength to enable me to follow his example of meekness and patience80 ,let any of us try ourselves with these questions1 and we shall be much more meek and patient1 when hearing the complaints or upbraidings of those whom we have troubled4 ,there is another method1 which1 in many cases1 will be of great service4 ,many amiable and excellent women1 really do not know how much they do find fault1 nor how severe and unpleasant are their tones and manner4 ,if1 therefore1 you find yourself very much tried in this way1 seek some opportunity of conversing with your employer1 when both feel kindly to each other4 ,and then1 in a respectful manner tell her1 that if she will not find fault quite so often1 or will tell your faults to you1 at times when neither you or she feel disturbed in mind1 that it will be a great deal pleasanter to you to serve her1 and that you shall be much more likely to try to do your duties well4 ,such a measure as this1 will be far better than to speak out your mind at times when she is reproving you1 when both feel angry or impatient4 ,i think a time will come1 when both parents and employers will feel it to be a duty to refrain from finding fault when they are angry1 and make it an object to wait1 until by calm reflection they can say the most judicious things in the most judicious manner4 ,and if you wish to have this period arrive1 remember you can do something towards hastening it1 by trying to form such a habit yourself4 ,and then1 if you ever become the employer of a domestic1 you will be prepared for this most important part of your duty4 ,another trial1 to which domestics are exposed1 is a neglect of their comfort and convenience by their employers4 ,sometimes domestics have not comfortable rooms and beds2 sometimes1 the proper conveniences for work are not provided2 sometimes they have so much required that they have not time for rest1 and for taking care of their clothes2 sometimes they are obliged to leave their meals before they have done1 to wait on the family2 sometimes the children of the family vex and incommode them2 sometimes they are treated harshly and rudely2 sometimes the mistress of the family does not know how to plan work1 and more is exacted than they can perform1 or needless trouble and work are caused4 ,now there are two ways of preventing these evils1 to a certain extent4 ,one is1 by making proper terms with an employer beforehand4 ,it is a good plan for a domestic1 always to inquire of an employer1 before she agrees to come1 respecting all these matters4 ,it is always proper1 to inquire about the conveniences in the kitchen1 and to ask how much time you probably can have to do your own sewing1 and whether you shall be allowed to sit undisturbed at your meals1 and whether you shall be allowed to send the children out of the kitchen when they trouble you1 and finally1 to find out as much as you can beforehand1 as to the kind of work that will be expected4 ,let these things all be talked over and understood beforehand1 and many occasions for hard feeling and discontent will be saved on both sides4 ,after you come into a family1 you will1 in most cases1 find some inconveniences and annoyances that you did not expect4 ,in such cases1 do not be angry or out of patience1 but bear them quietly1 till you have a good chance to talk with your employer about them4 ,then simply state the trouble you experience1 and if it can be remedied consistently1 she probably will do it1 and if it cannot1 then make up your mind to bear it patiently and good humouredly4 ,i have seen domestics go on1 day after day1 complaining and fretting about troubles1 that often would be entirely removed1 if they would go1 in a pleasant and respectful way1 to their employers and state their wishes4 ,it is always best to take it for granted1 that your employers are kind and reasonable people1 for if they are not1 it is the surest way to lead them to become so4 ,a keeper of a prison once asked a man who had been removed from his care to another prison1 what the reason was that he behaved so much better with his new keeper4 ,his reply was1 8,he treats me like a man1 and so ,i behave like a man2 but you treated me like a dog1 and so ,i behaved like a dog40 ,now this prisoner was a fair picture of us all in this respect4 ,if people treat us as if they think that we wish and intend to do all that is generous and right1 it is a strong influence to lead us to do so4 ,but if we are treated as if it was expected that we should act unreasonably and wrong1 it is a strong temptation to lead us to do so4 ,and this anecdote contains a very important truth1 that it would be wise for domestics1 as well as employers1 to bear in mind4 ,there is another trial that domestics often feel1 which ,i have before alluded to4 ,it is the fact that they are called 8servants10 and are liable to be treated with disrespect or contempt1 by persons who fancy themselves a little above them in rank4 ,but my friends1 this is a trouble which all classes have to experience1 and some almost or quite as much as you4 ,the mechanic's daughter1 or the sempstress1 may call you servants1 and feel above you1 but some rich men's daughters call them 8only mechanics' daughters10 or 8only sempstresses10 and feel as much above them4 ,and these rich men's daughters find persons who will call them 8vulgar rich folks10 and feel very much above them1 because they themselves have some advantages of family or education1 that those they look down upon do not possess4 ,we find that it is common to call persons who have wealth and education1 8ladies10 and persons who have no education1 and labour for a support1 8women40 ,and if a person who considered herself among the first1 should hear a person say1 8there is a woman in the parlour10 instead of saying1 8there is a lady in the parlour10 she would in some cases feel offended4 ,what is the reason of this8 ,she is a woman1 why is she not pleased to be called so8 ,why simply because persons whom she regards as below herself are so called4 ,now this is exactly the case with you4 ,you do not like to be called by the same name as is given to slaves in this land1 and to the degraded servants of other countries4 ,and it is probable every body would have something of this feeling1 and therefore every well-bred person1 who knew1 that this name of servant was disagreeable to you1 would not use it1 unless from long habit it was difficult to remember to call you by another name4 ,but you must not allow yourselves to be offended because people do not always know your feelings on this point1 or do not always remember to regard your wishes4 ,try to be polite yourselves to the poor ,africans whom you regard as below you1 and then you will find that you sometimes fail in this duty yourselves1 and will learn not to judge so severely of those who fail towards you4 ,true politeness and good breeding will lead every body to avoid whatever needlessly troubles others1 however humble in life4 ,on this point ,i have felt some perplexity myself4 ,probably if ,i were in your place1 ,i might not wish to be called a servant1 just as many persons ,i associate with1 choose to be called 8ladies0 instead of 8women40 ,as we must have some name to give to persons in your station1 ,i have inquired what one is suitable4 ,now ,i cannot tell what would be agreeable to you all4 ,but ,i know what ,i should like myself4 ,the word domus signifies home1 which is one of the dearest and pleasantest words in the world4 ,the word 8domestic10 is made from this word domus1 and it signifies1 one employed in doing the work at home1 and therefore it has a very pleasant idea connected with it4 ,i cannot find any word in the dictionary to use for this purpose1 that ,i should like so much myself1 and therefore ,i have used the word in writing to you4 ,but if there was any other that ,i thought you would like better1 ,i certainly would use it4 ,but remember1 my friends1 that ,jesus ,christ1 the ,lord of ,glory1 8took upon him the form of a servant10 and he it was that washed his disciples' feet1 to show them that they must not feel above doing the humblest of all duties4 ,and the word 8minister10 means the same as 8servant10 and this was the name taken by the ,apostles of ,christ4 ,and we shall never be fully prepared for ,heaven1 till we have that humble spirit1 which can be contented to see others raised above us1 and to take whatever name and place belongs to us4 ,the ,bible teaches1 that even in ,heaven1 there are different grades of intellect and greatness1 and this is the time of probation1 when we are to learn that submissive and humble spirit1 which will prepare us to go to a world1 where forever1 there must be many far above us in knowledge1 honour and power4 ,do not therefore indulge such feelings of pride about the name1 and duties of your station1 but honour yourselves by walking in the footsteps of ,jesus ,christ4 ,in regard to all the trials that are to be met in your situation in life1 it is wisest to look at the matter in this light4 ,there is no situation where you can go1 in which you will not find some disagreeable things to try your patience1 and tempt you to complain and be discontented4 ,therefore1 it is best to make up your mind1 that you will first do all you can to remedy what troubles you meet1 and after that1 determine to be quiet and content with your lot4 ,it is very unwise to be roving from one family to another4 ,it is very much for your interest to stay in one place and become interested in the family1 and to make them all feel that you are a steady1 and tried1 and faithful friend4 ,i know many domestics1 who have become so much attached to the family where they have long lived1 that no money would tempt them to leave4 ,they seem to feel that all that interests the family belongs to them4 ,they share the joys1 the sorrows1 and the hopes of the family1 and are loved and trusted by all1 as kind and faithful friends1 while every thing reasonable is done to make them comfortable and contented4 ,and ,i would advise every domestic to seek a place where she will be willing to stay for life1 if she does not get a home of her own4 ,and when she has found such a place1 she should try1 by her faithful services1 and affectionate kindness1 to make herself so necessary to the comfort of the family1 that they will all feel that they cannot part with her1 and will do all in their power to make her comfortable and happy4 ,there is one word of advice ,i would offer to domestics who do change their places1 and that is1 never to retail the private concerns of the family they leave4 ,a great deal of trouble and ill will in society1 is made by the scandal that is propagated by domestics1 who go from one family to another4 ,this ought not so to be4 ,we have no right to talk about the faults of other persons1 unless we can do some good by it4 ,this the golden rule forbids2 for we know we should not be willing to have our faults retailed about and talked over to strangers1 and what we are not willing to have done to us1 we should not do to others4 ,i beseech you1 therefore1 to make it a rule never to retail the faults of those with whom you have lived4 ,and if you find persons questioning you1 to find out matters relating to the family in which you have worked1 just tell them that you do not think it is right to speak of the faults of those with whom you have lived4 ,do this1 and every body will respect you for your sense of propriety1 and feel reproved if they have tempted you1 by questions1 to so ungenerous and wrong a course4 ,the only case when it would be right to tell the faults of those you have lived with1 is when a person comes to you for information and advice about going to live in that place4 ,in this case1 it would be proper to let them know both the good and the evil of the situation they inquire about4 ,there is one frequent cause of difficulty between employers and domestics1 that ought to be taken care of1 when first making an agreement4 ,employers always wish to hire the time of domestics1 instead of hiring them to do some particular parts of family work4--,but some domestics feel that they are hired to do some particular part of the work1 and when this is done1 that their time is their own4 ,now this matter ought to be understood beforehand1 for all employers would prefer to hire the time1 even if they have to pay more wages4 ,it is a great inconvenience to have domestics who feel that their time is their own1 except when they are doing certain jobs they agreed to do4 ,it is much the best for the comfort of a family1 to have domestics who can be called on to help whenever they are needed4 ,of course there must be an understanding1 in such cases1 that domestics shall have time enough to do their own sewing and mending1 and also for meetings and visiting to a suitable extent4 ,all these things should be talked over beforehand1 and it will save much trouble4 ,,letter ,,xiv4 ,,on ,,economy4 ,economy a duty of all4 ,modes of economizing4 ,my ,friends3 ,it is the duty of all persons1 in every station of life1 to practise that economy1 which saves from waste1 all the bounties of ,providence1 and which contrives to make every thing useful last as long as possible4 ,the rich have a right to buy more expensive1 and more numerous articles1 than the poor1 but they have no right to waste any thing2 for what they do not use themselves they should save for the comfort and enjoyment of others4 ,and ,i think1 generally1 persons who are well off in the world1 economize much better than the poor2 because they have more knowledge to aid them in the choice and use of articles4 ,and ,i think that persons who go to service1 often practise very little good economy4 ,i will point out some of the ways in which they waste much money4 ,in the first place1 they do not buy suitable dresses to work in4 ,dresses for work ought to be very strong and of fast colours1 so that a working frock may last a great while1 and yet retain a good colour4 ,now instead of this1 they often buy common cheap calicoes1 which cost as much time and money to have made up as any1 and yet in a few weeks the colours will be washed out1 and the stuff also soon be gone4 ,in buying a working dress1 look for strong articles1 which are of a dark colour and which will not fade badly4 ,in purchasing articles for dresses to wear to church1 or for visiting1 do not get light and expensive silks which soon soil1 and become useless4 ,in choosing a silk dress1 especially a black one1 which is apt to be injured by the dye1 get several samples first4 ,then take these pieces and double them up and rub the edges of the creases against a carpet4 ,you will find that some wear off much sooner than the rest1 and the one that bears this trial best1 will wear the longest4 ,you may be sure that every person of good taste and good judgment will admire and respect you a great deal more1 if you dress neat and plain1 than if you put on fine and showy articles1 that are suitable only for persons who have wealth4 ,it is only persons of weak minds1 or great ignorance of propriety1 who would admire such extravagant and showy articles1 as ,i am sorry to see1 often worn by persons who earn a dollar or two a week by the labour of their hands4 ,there is often much want of economy too1 in regard to the making and mending of dresses4 ,it is no difficult matter to learn to make a frock1 and it saves a great deal of expense4 ,to do this1 get a mantuamaker to fit and baste a frock for you1 and not to sew it4 ,then take this1 and first rip out a sleeve1 and iron it out1 and cut out a newspaper pattern of it4 ,then baste up the sleeve and fit it just as it was before1 except do not set it into the arm-hole4 ,then rip out one half the back1 and one half the fore body1 iron them out1 and cut out patterns4 ,if the fore body has the outside gathered or pleated on to the lining1 cut out a pattern1 both of the outside and lining4 ,notice how deep the seams are1 and prick them into the pattern1 or make a crease to show where they should be4 ,restore the back and fore body to their places1 and baste in the sleeve4 ,then take some cheap stuff1 and cut out the sleeves and waist by these patterns1 and fit them like the dress you are imitating1 and make the skirt by the pattern also4 ,after this1 you will find little trouble in making another dress by these patterns4 ,when sleeves begin to wear out1 they are made to last much longer1 by ripping out and changing them4 ,so the skirt of a silk frock1 will last much longer by ripping it from the waist1 and moving it so that the front breadth goes to one side1 and the places of all the breadths are changed4 ,in doing this1 the slit behind must be sewed up1 and a new one made4 ,for under garments1 buy unbleached cotton1 which will gradually whiten1 and lasts a quarter longer than the whitened4 ,the best petticoats1 for winter1 are made by taking two old dresses and making a quilt4 ,never buy white flannel for common wear1 unless you mean to colour it4 ,this you can do very easily thus4 ,take a pound of cheap black tea1 and a bit of copperas as big as a large hen's egg4 ,put them to two gallons of water1 and boil them three quarters of an hour in an iron kettle4 ,then strain it off1 and clean the kettle thoroughly4 ,then put the strained dye into it again1 and after wetting the flannel in warm water1 put it in and boil it fifteen minutes1 lifting it up and stirring it often4 ,then rinse it several times in cold water1 and it will be a dark lead colour4 ,you can make a dove colour by adding water to this dye4 ,home-made flannel coloured thus1 is good for under petticoats4 ,cotton and woollen stockings1 coloured thus1 are good for common wear4 ,i advise you to knit coarse cotton for common wear in summer and woollen for winter4 ,coarse knit stockings last four times as long as any you can buy1 and this saves much mending4 ,when stockings are worn in the feet1 they can be cut down and made over4 ,strong double-soled shoes should be worn1 except in warm weather1 and if you will be careful to change your shoes often1 so as not to wear them long on the same foot1 they will last much longer4 ,it is a good plan to have a particular evening every week for taking care of your clothes4 ,those who cook would do well to wear either a cap1 or a square muslin handkerchief1 put on for a turban1 while cooking4 ,the neatest persons in the world are liable to have hairs and dandruff fall from their heads1 and this is the only sure way to keep such disgusting matters out of the food4 ,i think it probable that some of you for whom ,i write1 will not like the advice ,i give about the quality of your dress4 ,but ,i can assure you it is what ,i should do myself were ,i under the necessity of labouring for a support4 ,and if ,i had a sister1 or any friend in your situation1 ,i should wish to have her follow this course4 ,good taste in dress is shown by accommodating our style of dress to our income1 and when a domestic1 who has not a hundred dollars a year1 dresses like persons who have large incomes1 every sensible and judicious person thinks it is foolish and in very bad taste4 ,moreover1 by using strong and durable articles you save money that you can lay up to provide for your wants1 if you should have a family of your own1 or if you should be sick or aged1 and unabled to work4 ,besides all this1 it is the duty of every person to give something of their possessions to promote the comfort and welfare of others4 ,when our ,saviour saw a poor widow casting two mites into the treasury which was to support religion1 he commended her1 even though it was the whole of her living4 ,the reason of this was that a benevolent spirit is of more value to us than treasures of silver and gold1 and none are so poor as not to need to cultivate this spirit4 ,now a person who spends all she gets on herself1 loses one chance to cultivate this generous and benevolent spirit1 which is so precious in ,god's sight1 and so needful to our own best good4 ,i hope1 therefore1 you will feel a pleasure in economizing1 that you may thus increase your means1 not only of providing for your own future independence and comfort1 but also that you may have something to give to relieve many1 who are suffering for the want of the comforts of this life1 and still more for want of good hope of a better life to come4 ,give something then1 every year1 to promote both the temporal and spiritual good of your fellow creatures1 and thus also secure the great benefit to yourself1 which results from the exercise of a generous and benevolent spirit4 ,,letter ,,xv4 ,,on ,,the ,,care ,,of ,,children4 ,patience very needful4 ,offering rewards4 ,never shame children for their faults4 ,never deceive them4 ,set an example of honesty and modesty4 ,my ,friends3 ,i wish you could realize the great influence which you always must exert over the character and welfare of children1 for then what ,i am now going to write1 would secure a deep interest in your minds4 ,children are creatures of imitation and sympathy1 and they always feel and act very much as those do about them4 ,thus they are daily forming their tastes1 habits and character from the pattern of those who are most with them4 ,and their happiness1 for time and eternity1 is decided by the good or evil that thus surrounds them4 ,almost all domestics have more or less to do with the children of a family1 so that though what ,i write is most important to those who nurse and take care of children1 it should be deeply pondered by all4 ,the greatest and most important requisite in all who have the care of children is patience4 ,children have come into a world where every thing is new to them--where they cannot understand the mischief they make1--and more than all this1 they are so thoughtless and forgetful1 that they cannot remember when they do discover what is dangerous or wrong1 as older minds can do4 ,suppose you were suddenly put in a vast kitchen1 with ten thousand new utensils to work with1 and new sorts of work to do1 and all the time in danger of doing something wrong--or forgetting something you were told4 ,you would feel puzzled1 and sometimes out of patience1 and you would think it very hard if those who employed you had no patience1 and no sympathy for you1 in such difficult circumstances4 ,you would think that you were more to be pitied than blamed1 when you forgot1 or made mistakes4 ,and if your employers spoke kindly to you1 and always seemed to feel for your difficulties1 and to be patient with your forgetfulness1 you would find it much easier to do your duty4 ,now children are in just such a situation4 ,just observe young children for one day1 and see how many times they have to be told that they are doing wrong6 ,poor things6--they are ignorant1 and forgetful1 and have a thousand things to learn and to remember4 ,and they often are blamed and found fault with for something every hour1 and a great deal more than grown persons could bear4 ,have patience with them1 and as much as possible keep from speaking in cross and angry tones4 ,i know persons who make it a rule never to speak cross to children4 ,instead of this1 they wait till their own feelings are calm1 and then kindly speak to them of their faults4 ,and when they see a child doing mischief1 instead of calling out in sharp and angry tones1 they go up and take hold of the child and stop its mischief--or set it up in a chair--and take care not to speak till it can be done in a calm and gentle way4 ,children who are managed by such persons1 have an example of patience1 gentleness and kindness before them that has a great influence4 ,and when such persons tell children that they must not act angry and speak cross1 when any thing troubles them1 it does far more good than it could do1 if they see their advisers set them an example just contrary to their instructions4 ,one of the most successful ways of making children behave well is1 to keep them good natured and happy4 ,very often1 when children feel peevish1 and when they get into contentions1 some amusing story1 or play1 will make them good natured1 and then all will go smooth again4 ,whereas1 if those who take care of them fret at them1 and tell them they are naughty and disagreeable1 it only adds to their trouble and vexation1 and makes them act worse rather than better4 ,i have seen a person taking care of children1 manage in this way4 ,a little boy is out of humour--he goes sullenly about1 and if any one speaks to him answers in cross tones--and then he teazes some one--or strikes1 or kicks some one who teazes him4 ,the nurse sees that the difficulty is1 that the child feels irritable and unhappy1 and that fault-finding will only make him feel worse4 ,so she goes and takes him in her lap1 and says1 8,come here1 children1 and hear this story--or see this pretty thing--or hear me read something pretty to you0--so she contrives to amuse them a few minutes till all feel pleasant1 and then she says to the offender1 8,now1 my dear little boy1 you have been feeling cross and unhappy and have done wrong1 but if you will try to be pleasant and speak kind for a whole hour1 ,i will do so and so2--and you other children too1 must try to make your little brother feel comfortable and happy1 and not trouble him in any way40 ,try such a method1 and you will find it much better than fretting at the child yourself4 ,a person who takes care of children should economize her favors and kindnesses1 and keep them to use for such occasions4 ,if there are little enjoyments she can procure1 or favours she can bestow1 instead of giving them without any effort to gain them by the children--she should save them to use as rewards for their endeavours to be patient1 kind and obedient4 ,and in all the management of children1 it should be a maxim to regulate them by love and hope1 rather than by fault-finding and other penalties4 ,if you tell a child 8,if you try to do so and so1 you shall have such an enjoyment10 then the child has something pleasant to think of whenever he is tempted to do wrong1 and he is pleased in trying4 ,but if you tell him 8,if you do so and so1 you shall be punished10 or if he feels that he shall get a scolding if he does what he wants to do--then there is nothing pleasant before the mind1 while trying to do right4 ,he sees punishment coming if he does one way--and no good comes if he does the other way1 and so he has no pleasurable feeling at all to lead him to do right4 ,there are some faults that must be cured by punishment1 but these a parent must manage and not the domestics who take care of children4 ,let me advise you then1 to manage children as much as possible by keeping them happy1 and by offering them rewards for efforts to be good4 ,and in offering these rewards1 always have some particular thing that the child can try to do or not to do4 ,do not tell the child1 8,if you will be good all day ,i will do so and so40 ,for 8being good0 is so indefinite that the child cannot tell what he is to aim at4--,but tell a child1 8,now if you will go a whole hour without speaking one unkind word1 or if you will do such and such a thing1 you shall have a favour10 and then the child has some definite thing to try to do4 ,and be careful not to have the time of trial too long1 for an hour to a child is as long as a day to older persons1 and if you can get a child to govern itself a short time1 it is learning to do it easier and longer the next time4 ,when children have faults never try to shame them out of them4 ,nothing hardens a child so much as this practice4 ,telling other people a child's faults1 for the purpose of curing the fault1 is a sad1 sad mistake4 ,suppose1 in order to cure you of some bad habit1 your employer should take visitors into the kitchen to shame you by telling them of your faults4 ,do you think it would be a good way to cure you8 ,surely not1 and it is no better to treat children thus4 ,instead of this1 always treat children as if you thought they wished and intended to do right1 and when they do wrong show sympathy and pity towards them1 and try to conceal their faults from others as much as you can4 ,this will make children love you1 and try the more to do as you advise4 ,when you have done wrong1 if a person says1 8,it is always just so--,i always expect you will forget1 and do the wrong thing--,i never can put any confidence in you0--does it not make you feel discouraged1 as if there was no use in trying1 and as if you were unjustly dealt with8 ,but suppose your employer says1 8,oh1 ,i see you forgot this thing--or did that thing wrong--but ,i suppose you did not mean to4 ,we all forget sometimes--,i think you will remember better next time40 ,does not such treatment make you feel as if you should try not to forget next time--far more than the first mode8 ,take this same way with children4 ,always encourage them to try again1 and make all the allowances and excuses you can1 and then they will feel that you are sorry for them1 and they will wish and intend to do better next time4 ,and the worse children are1 the more danger there is of their losing all hope of improving1 and all sense of shame1 and all desire to gain a good character4 ,i have had young persons come to my care1 who ,i saw had acted so badly and been found fault with so much1 that they did not expect any thing else1 and so they never tried4 ,and when they saw ,i expected that they would do well1 and pitied or excused their defects1 and praised them for every thing that was at all commendable1 they began to grow encouraged4 ,and finding how pleasant it was to be praised1 and to have some one that did not dislike them all the time for doing wrong1 they made very great exertions1 till they really became all that they saw ,i expected4 ,i have seen great changes made in very bad children1 by merely stopping finding fault1 and encouraging and praising as much as truth would allow4 ,i advise you try the same method1 when you have to deal with very bad children4 ,stop finding fault2 try to palliate and excuse as much as you can2 try to convince them1 you feel kindly to them2 try to make them feel happy2 act as if you expected they would try to do well2 and every chance you can find1 when they do well1 commend them for it1 and report their good conduct to their friends4 ,try this1 and you will often find it will work wonders in improving bad children4 ,be very careful1 in talking with children1 never to set an example of deceit4 ,it often is as bad to deceive as it is to tell a direct lie1 and a deceitful character is one of the worst and most disagreeable4 ,for this reason never deceive children in any way1 or for any purpose--and always express disgust if you see any deceitful tricks in them4 ,children soon learn to despise and dislike what others do1 and if deceit is always spoken of as hateful and mean1 they soon learn to feel so about it themselves4 ,be careful to cherish feelings of strict honesty in children4 ,always advise them to ask leave to use each other's things1 and talk to them about the meanness and the danger of taking or using what belongs to others without knowing that the owners are willing4 ,remember that 8stealing1 is using what belongs to others1 without proper evidence that the owner is willing40 ,and the evil is not so much in the thing done1 as in the want of an honest character in the person who does it4 ,and this want of honesty can be shown1 as much in little matters as it is in great ones4 ,if a child sees you go and get a needle1 or thread1 or a bit of tape from its mother's work basket1 and knows that its mother would not be willing1 your example leads it to steal also4--,remember these things1 and beware lest you are the guilty cause of training children to deceit and dishonesty4 ,always endeavour to make young children modest and delicate4 ,avoid vulgar and indelicate words and actions1 and express great disgust when you see or hear any thing immodest or indelicate in them4 ,nothing saves children from future dangers so much as great care in this respect4 ,try to cultivate in children a habit of industry4 ,this is a great preservative from bad tempers1 and from mischief4 ,children love to be active1 and they can easily be induced to be useful in one way or another4 ,try to contrive useful employment for them1 and if you cannot secure it any other way1 offer some reward for their services4 ,but always try first1 to get them to do useful things1 for the pleasure of helping others1 and of thus doing good4 ,a great deal can be done in this way by trying1 and thus you are helping to form habits both of industry and benevolence4 ,never allow yourselves to tell young children frightful stories4 ,sometimes children suffer agonies of fear1 from having their imaginations filled with frightful images1 that haunt them in the dark1 or when they go to bed4 ,when ,i was very young ,i was told by a young girl1 who did not like to stay by me1 that if ,i cried1 or made any noise1 the 8bull beggars0 would come down the chimney and carry me off4 ,and many a night ,i lay with my head covered up1 sweating with fear and distress that ,i shall never forget4 ,probably there is no distress of childhood so great as that of fear1 and domestics should be very careful not to excite it1 and should be patient and kind to little children when they suffer from it4 ,another thing ,i hope you will avoid1 and that is1 giving children good things to eat in order to coax or reward them4 ,remember that every time any thing is put into the stomach1 all its muscles begin to work in moving it about1 for an hour or two2 for the stomach1 in digesting food1 works as hard as the hands work in kneading bread4 ,the stomach needs time to rest after this effort1 and children ought never to eat more than once between meals1 and then they ought to have bread1 or some other simple food4 ,those1 therefore1 who give them cake1 or candy1 or nuts1 and allow them to keep eating them every time they like1 take a course which1 unless the stomach is very strong1 is sure to weaken and injure it4 ,when children have nuts1 apples1 candy1 or cakes1 persuade them to eat them1 either at their meals as a part1 or else half way between a meal as a luncheon1 and do not let them keep nibbling and tasting through several successive hours1 thus keeping the stomach all the time labouring1 and wearing out its strength4 ,,letter ,,xvi4 ,,on ,,cooking4 ,my ,friends3 ,there are plenty of receipt books in this country1 that direct as to the kind of ingredients for food1 and as to the proper quantities2 but no knowledge of receipts can ever make a good cook4 ,the great art of good cooking is taking care4 ,take care that your fire is not too hot1 nor too low--that your oven is not too hot1 nor too cold--that your bread is not too much raised1 nor too little2 that your mixtures have not too much1 nor too little of any particular ingredient4--,it is care1 care1 watch1 watch1 that alone can secure the art of cooking well4 ,and there are few persons whose business it is to cook1 who view their duty on this subject in a proper light4 ,to illustrate my meaning1 ,i will give an example4 ,the domestic of a family in which ,i have resided1 was remarkable for always having good bread1 at all seasons1 even when the hot weather spoiled all other yeast but hers4 ,and such light1 such sweet1 such beautiful looking bread rarely is seen4 ,now the amount of pleasure and comfort given to this family by this one thing1 few would appreciate4 ,the master of the house always seemed to rejoice at every new baking1 in seeing his family so well supplied4 ,his wife always seemed pleased when her husband1 children1 and visitors praised the bread1 and every member of the family1 at every meal1 felt a sort of satisfaction every time they looked at the bread plate4 ,now multiply these comfortable feelings at each meal1 by the number of all the family1 and then by the number of meals in a year1 and what a large amount of enjoyment was thus made1 simply by taking care always to have good bread6 ,change this bread to merely tolerable bread1 and how much enjoyment would be lost6--,turn it to heavy and sour bread1 and then how much discomfort would take the place of enjoyment6 ,now is it not ,god who gives us all the common comforts of life1 and do we not thank and praise him for them8 ,and is it not worthy the aim of his creatures to follow his example1 in contributing to the daily enjoyment of a family8 ,and ought we not to dignify and ennoble all the common cares of life1 by regarding ourselves1 as co-workers with ,god in providing for the comfort and enjoyment of his creatures8 ,this view of the subject teaches us the true meaning of the direction3 8,whether therefore ye eat1 or drink1 or whatever ye do1 do all to the glory of ,god40 ,now the glory of ,god consists in that perfect benevolence of his character1 which leads him always to find pleasure in providing for the comfort1 and caring for the happiness of his creatures4 ,and the more happiness is made1 the more his glory is promoted4 ,and the more we labour to promote the comfort and enjoyment of others1 the more we are becoming like him1 and are promoting his glory4 ,thus1 in the humblest of all positions1 every one of us can do something to add to the stock of happiness1 which exhibits the glory of ,god1 as the author of all being1 and the source of all enjoyment4 ,now it is much to be lamented1 that people should fancy that there are some particular ways of doing good1 that are especially acceptable to ,god4 ,this is not so4 ,it is the temper of mind1 that ,god looks at and approves1 and not the particular thing done4--,a woman may go about and visit the poor1 and give money to send education and the gospel to others1 with very little self-denial1 and perhaps from the mere love of the credit thus gained4 ,and in this case1 in ,god's sight1 the offering is of little value4 ,but the domestic1 who in her humblest employments1 goes about trying to do every thing in the best manner1 aiming thus to serve ,god1 by promoting the comfort of his creatures--she is the one who receives his approving smile--she is the one who1 whatever she does1 is doing all 8for the glory of ,god40 ,i wish all who read this would thus regard their daily pursuits in the kitchen1 and then they will not feel1 as too many in humble circumstances are apt to do1 that they have no way in which they can serve ,god1 or do much good in the world4 ,none of us can tell who does the most1 or the least good4 ,god appoints each one of us our lot1 and requires all to do what they can1 to complete the great sum of enjoyment1 which ,he designs to secure4 ,and the great thing for each to aim at is1 not to have some great thing to do1 but to possess that benevolent and submissive temper of mind that will rejoice to do good1 wherever ,god appoints the place4 ,in the first of ,corinthians1 you will find a chapter in which 8charity0 is described4 ,now when the ,bible was translated from the ,greek #bjj years ago1 this word 8charity0 meant what the word benevolence means now1 and we should so understand it4 ,in this chapter you find it thus written3 8,and though ,i have the gift of prophecy1 and understand all mysteries and all knowledge1 and though ,i have all faith so that ,i could remove mountains1 and have not charity1 7that is1 benevolence17 ,i am nothing4 ,and though ,i bestow all my goods to feed the poor1 and though ,i give my body to be burned1 and have not charity--it profiteth me nothing40 ,now this is the very thing ,i have been explaining4 ,a person may be the most learned person in the world1 and may give all he has to feed the poor1 and even suffer martyrdom for the sake of religion1 and yet be destitute of that temper of true benevolence that makes him like ,god4 ,all these great things may be done from a mere love of show1 or the desire of applause1 and then they are nothing in the sight of ,god4 ,but that patient1 humble1 kind1 gentle1 benevolent temper of mind1 that loves to serve ,god and do good to man1 in all circumstances1 and at all times1 this is precious in the sight of ,god4 ,and this temper of mind can be cherished and exhibited1 as much in the kitchen as it can in the pulpit4--,it can be shown1 as much in providing food for a family1 as it can in those schemes of benevolence which send missionaries and ,bibles to heathen lands4 ,and though it is the duty of all ,christians to feel an interest in the spread of that blessed religion1 which brings so much hope and comfort to us1 and though we ought all of us to contribute something from our stock for this merciful and heavenly object1 yet we ought to feel that this is only one way of showing our benevolent feelings1 and that we can have but a few chances of this kind in a year4 ,but it is in every day life that we can all the time be showing forth the temper of benevolence4 ,and here it is that ,jesus ,christ looks to see1 whether or not1 we are gaining that self-denying1 benevolent1 and submissive spirit1 that alone can prepare us for ,his heavenly kingdom4 ,i will now point out some particulars in your every day duties1 that demand special attention4 ,there is no one article of cooking1 that is so important as good bread1 for this is the chief dependence for food in most families1 and the health of a family very much depends upon it4 ,poor bread is always unhealthy4 ,there are three things that are requisite to secure good bread1 viz4 good flour1 good yeast1 and good care4 ,the best kind of flour has a very white or a yellowish tinge1 and the poorest looks as if ashes were mixed with it4 ,good flour too packs closely1 and does not fly about easily4 ,grown flour makes bread that runs1 and will not rise well4 ,it is best always to try flour in one or two batches1 before getting a whole barrel4 ,many persons secure good yeast the year round1 by making yeast cakes4 ,there are others who have tried them and do not like them4 ,these are made by mixing ,indian meal in a quart or two of the best yeast1 till it is thick enough to work up into round cakes about three quarters of an inch thick1 and two or three inches in diameter4 ,these are dried in the sun1 or what is better1 in a drying wind4 ,they are then kept in a bag1 in a place where it is not damp1 and where they will not freeze4 ,in using them1 take one cake for a large batch of bread1 and soak it in milk and water through the night1 and then use it like common yeast4 ,this yeast is good for hot weather when yeast spoils so often4 ,the best time for making yeast cakes is in ,may and ,october1 and they will keep six months or more4 ,success all depends on having the best of yeast for making the cakes4 ,those who have most success in making bread1 are very particular in heating their oven exactly right4 ,for this purpose they have oven wood kept in a pile by itself1 and the sticks of nearly equal size4 ,they then find out by trial1 how many sticks heat the oven just right4 ,afterwards1 they always use this number1 and thus they are saved from much watching1 and from many mistakes in baking4 ,great care is needful also to put the bread in at just the right time4 ,if the bread does not stand to rise long enough1 it is too solid1 either for health1 or pleasure in eating4 ,if it stands too long1 it loses much of its sweetness1 even if it does not become sour4 ,a great deal of light and nice looking bread is not good1 because it has lost its sweetness by being raised too much4 ,the exactly right notch can only be found by trying1 and after a while a cook will learn to know by the looks of the dough when it is just right4 ,always smell of the dough1 and if there is the least sourness1 knead some dissolved pearlash in1 and it will remove it4 ,nothing is worse than sour bread1 and it can always be remedied by pearlash4 ,to discover sourness1 open a place suddenly1 and smell quickly before the gas escapes4 ,the following is the mode of making yeast and bread1 practised by the domestic ,i have lived with1 who makes as good bread as ,i ever saw4 ,for yeast1 take a handful of hops1 boil them in two quarts of water twenty minutes1 strain off and mix in about three pints of flour1 together with half a pint of distillery yeast1 or a pint and a half of homemade yeast4 ,some molasses or sugar added1 hides the bitter taste of the yeast1 that sometimes is perceived in bread4 ,for bread1 take a peck of flour1 sift it1 make a hole in the centre1 and put in half a pint of distillery yeast1 or nearly a pint of homemade yeast4 ,then wet up the flour with warm milk4 ,the bread must then be kneaded for half an hour1 until it is so thick and well mixed as to cleave from the hands without sticking at all4 ,raise it till it has cracks on the top and looks light and feathery4 ,if sour at all1 knead in a great spoonful of pearlash dissolved in a teacupful of milk4 ,when the bread is baked1 set the loaves on their ends1 so that the bottom may not steam1 and cover it with a cloth4 ,some persons dampen the cloth to make the crust soft4 ,some persons put salt in bread1 others do not4 ,when bread is not wet with milk it needs salt1 and a bit of butter is also an improvement4 ,in cooking vegetables1 much depends upon boiling them the right length of time4 ,this is especially the case with potatoes1 which next after bread are the most important item in family cooking4 ,success in boiling potatoes well1 depends almost entirely on taking them out of the water just as soon as they are done so as to be soft4 ,if they remain after this point1 they become water soaked4 ,therefore select the potatoes all nearly of one size1 and try them often with a fork4 ,as soon as it runs in easily1 pour off the water1 and hang them where they will be kept hot1 keeping the cover off1 to let off the steam4 ,even when potatoes are cooked in steam1 they become water soaked1 if they are kept steaming after they are cooked4 ,a very nice way to cook potatoes for a morning dish1 is to pare them raw1 and cut them in thin slices into a small quantity of boiling water1 so that when they are cooked1 most of the water will be evaporated4 ,then salt them and add some cream4 ,if no cream is at hand1 use some butter4 ,cold boiled potatoes are very nice cut in slices1 and fried on a griddle in drippings4 ,the common way of roasting potatoes is improved by peeling them when raw1 and then roasting them in a ,dutch oven or cooking stove4 ,it gives the outside a fine crisp1 of which many are fond4 ,in boiling all vegetables1 first put salt in the water1 say a great spoonful to a gallon4 ,it is important to select all of a similar size that all may cook alike4 ,never let your pot stop boiling till they are done1 as it makes them water soaked4 ,the following may serve as some guide as to time for boiling4 ,potatoes require from half to three quarters of an hour1 according to the size4 ,cabbage requires from an hour and a half to two hours2 turnips one hour2 carrots one hour2 if quite old still more time2 parsnips one hour and a half2 squash1 when cut up1 half an hour2 pumpkins cut up one hour2 green corn one hour2 beets from two to three hours2 ,lima beans one hour2 peas three quarters of an hour2 if old1 sugar and a little pearlash improve them2 onions three quarters of an hour2 asparagus half an hour2 rice three quarters of an hour1 pour off the water in thirty minutes and add some milk1 and be sure and salt it enough4 ,hommony requires two quarts of water to one quart of hommony1 and it must be boiled five hours4 ,eggs require three minutes when there are few eggs and much water1 and four or five minutes when there are many eggs and little water4 ,eggs cook1 in a tin boiler1 in five or six minutes after the boiling water is poured on them1 if the boiler is first scalded4 ,vegetables boil much sooner when young and tender1 and judgment must be used in varying time4 ,always try all vegetables with a fork to see when they are done4 ,coffee should boil not more than ten minutes4 ,in making tea1 first scald the teapot1 then put in one teaspoonful of tea for each person1 and be sure that the water boils when poured on4 ,tea is injured by standing long to draw4 ,in preparing vegetables for the table1 always have the dishes to receive them warmed1 and never let any water remain in the bottom of the dish1 and always wipe the edge of the dish clean with a damp cloth before carrying it to the table4 ,always contrive to have vegetables hot when carried to the table4 ,if potatoes are old and watery1 peel them before boiling2 the moment they are done1 pour off the water and hang them to dry a few minutes4 ,then empty them into a clean brown towel and shake them about in it4 ,this makes them dry and mealy1 as the towel absorbs much moisture from them4 ,potatoes are improved by mashing1 putting in milk and butter and then baking them4 ,turnips when old and not sweet1 are very much improved by mashing and squeezing the water out1 and then adding a little white sugar4 ,be sure and squeeze the water thoroughly out of cabbage4 ,put your vegetables in nice order in the dishes1 and set them on the table in a regular way4 ,in regard to cooking meats1 very much depends1 in roasting1 on the size of the fire1 on the heat of the weather1 and on whether the meat is fresh killed or not2 for meat cooks faster in warm than in cold weather1 and fresh killed meat is longer cooking than meat that has been kept4 ,of course much depends on the care and judgment of a cook1 but as some calculation must be made beforehand1 as to how much time each article will require1 the following may be of service as a guide4 ,boil a chicken twenty-five minutes2 a hen forty minutes2 a small turkey an hour and a half2 a large one two hours2 a leg of mutton of nine lbs4 two hours and a half2 a neck two hours2 a piece of lamb weighing five lbs4 two hours2 a half round of salt beef three hours2 pickled pork1 soak six hours1 and boil a piece weighing seven or eight lbs4 three hours and a half4 ,boil two pounds of bacon one hour and a half4 ,to cook ham1 soak it through the night1 then put it in cold water1 heat it slowly for an hour1 then let it simmer gently four or five hours1 if it weighs as much as fifteen pounds4 ,soak tongues over night1 put them in cold water and boil them slowly four or five hours4 ,try with a fork to see when they are done4 ,all boiling of meats should be done by simmering1 for a galloping boil takes out both sweetness and tenderness4 ,leaving cooked meat in the water lessens its flavour and sweetness4 ,roasting may be regulated somewhat by the following directions4 ,roast a sirloin of fifteen lbs4 three hours and a half4 ,ribs of beef the same4 ,mutton is very much improved by long keeping1 and all meat is better when not fresh killed4 ,roast a leg of mutton of eight lbs4 two hours2 the chine1 or saddle weighing ten lbs4 two and a half hours2 a shoulder of seven lbs4 one and a half hours2 a loin1 one and three quarter hours2 the breast one hour and fifteen minutes2 a leg and part of the loin weighing fifteen lbs4 three and a half4 ,veal4 ,roast the fillet weighing sixteen lbs4 five hours2 a stuffed loin three hours2 a shoulder three hours2 a neck two hours2 the breast two hours4 ,lamb4 ,hind quarter of eight lbs4 one and three quarter hours2 fore quarter of ten lbs4 two hours2 a leg of five lbs4 one and a half hours2 a shoulder one hour2 ribs one and a quarter2 neck one hour2 breast three quarters of an hour4 ,pork4 ,leg of eight lbs4 three hours2 sparerib of nine lbs4 three hours2 a thin sparerib one and a quarter2 a loin of five lbs4 two hours4 ,a three weeks old pig one and three quarter hours4 ,fowls4 ,a turkey--let it warm for half an hour1 then roast a large one three hours1 a middle size two hours2 a small one1 one and a half hours4 ,a large hen one and a quarter hours2 a middle size hen one hour2 small chicken forty minutes4 ,a goose1 from one and a half1 to one and three quarters4 ,a duck from one half to three quarters of an hour4 ,the more you baste in roasting the more you improve the flavour of the meat4 ,in broiling1 cut the slices three quarters of an inch thick4 ,if cut thicker they brown too much before the inside is cooked4 ,broiling is best1 done quick1 and eaten soon4 ,a cook has great opportunities for practising economy4 ,for this end she should visit the cellar and pantry every day1 to see that all the food is safely preserved1 and that all spoilt articles are removed4 ,she should save all small bits of butter1 all drippings that can be used in cooking1 and all grease that can be used for soap4 ,she should preserve all good bits of bread1 which can1 when dry1 be boiled in water or milk1 to eat with butter and sugar--a favourite dish for children4 ,dry bread is also good for rusk puddings1 and for stuffings4 ,always use the dry bread before it becomes mouldy4 ,a cook also should practise economy in the use of fuel4 ,domestics are very apt to burn out far more fuel than is needful to keep themselves comfortable1 or to do the cooking properly4 ,this is very wrong1 for we have no right to waste even our own things1 far less to waste what belongs to another4 ,remember that when our ,saviour had power1 by one word1 to supply five thousand with bread1 still he commanded his disciples1 8,gather up the fragments1 that nothing be lost40 ,this was done for the instruction of all who have the charge of food1 or any of the bounties of his providence4 ,remember then1 that in taking care of fragments of food you are following the example of him who thinks nothing is too small for his care and attention4 ,in hot weather be careful always to cover meat from the flies4 ,in preserving fresh meat1 cut out all kernels1 and fill the holes with salt1 then rub salt all over4 ,always keep cheese covered closely4 ,cake1 bread and cheese are best kept in tin boxes with tight covers4 ,the grand maxim for kitchen work1 as well as all other work is1 8,a place for every thing1 and every thing in its place40 ,much is gained by forming a habit of putting up things and cleaning things as fast as they are used4 ,you will see some domestics get a kitchen in fine order1 and in a couple of hours every thing will be in disorder again4 ,this is because1 when they make a slop they do not wipe it1 when they dirty the hearth they do not sweep it1 when they use articles they never put them in their places4 ,instead of this a neat and orderly person not only puts things in order1 but keeps them so4 ,i have heard some housekeepers express the opinion that it was out of the question to get a domestic that was neat and orderly1 and yet good tempered4 ,it seems to be taken for granted that neat habits and a sharp temper go together4 ,now this is owing to the fact1 that when persons are neat and orderly1 it troubles them far more than it does untidy persons1 to have any matters of theirs disarranged1 and so they gradually acquire a habit of fretting1 or scolding4 ,this ought to be carefully avoided1 and ,i hope all who read this will try and see if there cannot be at least a few1 who can be neat1 orderly1 and yet good tempered domestics1 so that it will not be said of them1 as ,i have often heard of others1 8,yes1 she is very neat and orderly1 but her temper is as sharp as a steel-trap40 ,,letter ,,xvii4 ,on setting tables4 ,washing and ironing1 and other house work4 ,my ,friends3 ,those who are good housekeepers are generally very desirous to have their tables set neatly1 and in a proper manner4 ,few things are more annoying to such persons1 than to see the table set askew1 the table cloth tumbled and put on awry1 the knives1 tumblers1 plates1 and dishes put on without any order2 the pitchers soiled outside and in1 the butter pitched on the plate without any care1 the bread cut with a mixture of junks and thin slices and thrown on the plate carelessly1 and all other matters in similar disorder4 ,nothing will give more satisfaction to employers than carefulness and order in this particular4 ,the following rules will serve as a guide in this duty4 ,rules for setting ,tables4 #a4 ,lay the table rug square with the room2 the right side up1 and smooth and even4 #b4 ,set the table square with the room1 and see that the leaves and legs are properly fixed1 so that all will stand firm1 and then put on the table cloth smooth and even1 so that the creases will run straight across the table4 #c4 ,for breakfast and tea1 set the waiter on square1 put the cups and saucers in front1 and the sugar and slop bowls1 and cream cup the back side4 ,put a sugar spoon1 or tongs1 by the sugar bowl4 ,then set the plates around the table at regular distances with a knife in front1 and a napkin on one side and a cup mat the back side of it4 ,put mats for dishes of food in a regular manner1 and set these dishes on1 square and orderly4 ,set the tea or coffee either on the waiter1 or on a mat at the right hand4 #d4 ,for dinner1 set the caster exactly in the middle of the table1 and put the salts at two oblique corners of the table between two large spoons crossed4 ,if more spoons are needed lay them each side the caster4 ,lay the salt spoons across the salt dishes1 and the mustard spoon beside its cup4 ,place the knives and forks at regular distances1 so that the knife will be at the right hand and the fork at the left4 ,place a tumbler and napkin so that they will be at the right hand side of each plate4 ,in cool weather1 set the plates to warm till dinner is ready4 ,place the two largest mats opposite the master and mistress of the family1 and the others in regular order4 ,put the two principal dishes on these largest mats4 ,set the bread on a side table1 or with a fork lay a piece on the napkin by each plate4 ,on clearing ,tables4 ,always wipe the salt spoons and lay them beside the salt dishes in the cupboard4 ,also cleanse the mustard spoon4 ,fold the napkins neatly and lay them up in good order4 ,when all the dishes are removed1 fold up the table cloth so that it shall double in the same creases as were ironed in1 and lay it away smoothly4 ,on waiting at ,table4 ,always have a clean apron on1 and your hands clean1 and your hair in order1 when waiting on table4 ,stand on the left side of the lady of the house1 and always go to the left side of a person waited on4 ,in removing covers1 be careful to turn them wrong side up before bearing them away1 so as not to spill the steam on the table cloth1 or on the dresses of those at table4 ,in pouring out water1 never fill the tumbler higher than an inch from the top4 ,it is not considered good manners when waiting on table1 to address persons at table1 or join in the conversation at all1 unless you are addressed by persons at the table4 ,on ,washing and ,ironing4 ,success in washing well1 depends very much on the abundant use of water1 and it is very important to employers1 who are anxious to have their clothes well washed1 that they provide easy modes of getting water and of heating it4 ,in the work of mine on ,domestic ,economy1 which ,i have before alluded to1 is a plan by which1 at a trifling expense1 water can be raised1 conducted about1 and heated with far less labor than is commonly used4 ,common mode of ,washing4 ,assort the clothes and put the white ones in soak over night1 as it loosens the dirt4 ,next day1 wash the fine clothes first1 and then rub them again in a second suds1 turning all wrong side out4 ,put them in a bag and boil them half an hour1 and no more4 ,then rinse them in a plenty of water and throw them into the bluing water4 ,the nicest washers use two rinse waters before the bluing water4 ,starch those to be stiffened1 and bang them out4 ,then wash the common white clothes1 then the calicoes1 then the flannels4 ,never leave calicoes long damp1 or standing in water2 do not wash them in very hot water1 and when the water looks dingy1 change it or they will look dirty4 ,never rub on soap1 but mix it in the water so as not to have any lumps1 and use hard soap4 ,never let calicoes freeze in drying1 and dry them wrong side out and in a shady place4 ,all these cautions are needful to preserve the colours4 ,wash flannels in two suds1 as hot as the hand can bear1 and rinse in a hot suds4 ,if not very dirty1 two hot suds will answer4 ,if they are to be blued1 then the rinse water must not be suds1 as it makes the bluing go on in specks4 ,never put flannels in any but very hot water4 ,starch and shake them before hanging out4 ,soda ,washing4 ,this mode saves just one half the work done by the common mode4 ,make the soap thus3 ,boil six pounds of common soda with six pounds of bar soap in thirty quarts of water two hours4 ,then let it grow cool1 and set it away for use4 ,in washing1 put one pound of this soap to each pailful of water4 ,after soaking the white clothes in lukewarm water over night1 boil them in this mixture one hour and no more1 or they will be injured4 ,then take them into a tub of cold water1 and proceed just as you do in the common mode after you take them out of the boil4 ,that is1 rinse them in one or two waters and put them in blue water4 ,the boiling in this mixture saves the rubbing in two suds1 which is the common mode4 ,if there are spots very much soiled1 put on soap and rub them in the first rinse water4 ,flannels and calicoes cannot be washed thus4 ,the mixture can be used twice or thrice1 and then is good to wash floors with4 ,always wring clothes very dry the last time4 ,on ,sprinkling1 ,folding and ,ironing4 ,wipe the dust from the ironing board or table4 ,take lukewarm water and sprinkle all the articles1 laying the coloured ones separately and the fine ones by themselves4 ,turn each article right side out4 ,fold and roll each piece separately1 putting the fine ones in a towel and laying all in a basket1 separating the white and coloured ones by a towel4 ,do not let the coloured clothes be damp long1 but wait till you can iron them as soon after folding as will answer4 ,shake1 stretch and fold the sheets and table linen4 ,iron all lace and needle work on the wrong side4 ,iron calicoes with an iron not very hot4 ,frocks are to be ironed thus2 first the waist1 then the sleeves1 and then hang them on a chair1 and iron the skirt4 ,keep the skirt rolled1 while ironing the waist and sleeves4 ,shirts are ironed thus2 first the back1 then the sleeves1 then the collar and bosom1 then the front4 ,iron stockings on the wrong side4 ,wipe the dust from the clothes frame before putting on the clothes1 and remove the clothes as soon as aired1 to save them from smoke or flies4 ,other ,kitchen ,work4 ,be careful to keep your sink in order by frequent scalding4 ,keep a slop pail at hand to receive all refuse matter4 ,always keep a kettle of warm soft water over the fire4 ,be very careful to wash dishes properly1 as this is a matter very often done amiss4 ,i will tell you how those persons do this kind of work1 who are ranked as the best domestics4 ,in the first place1 they always keep a good supply of dish cloths4 ,they have at least three in daily use1 one for dishes that are not greasy1 one for greasy dishes1 and one for pots and kettles4 ,these are put in the wash every week1 and clean ones taken in their place4 ,this prevents the musty1 greasy smell that dish water so often leaves on dishes and dish towels4 ,when a large number of dishes are to be washed1 they have two dish pans1 one for hot suds and one for rinsing2 also an old waiter1 on which to drain the dishes when taken out of the rinsing water4 ,they also keep their suds hot and change it often4 ,before washing the dishes1 they scrape all the plates and dishes clean and set them in regular piles1 the largest at the bottom4 ,then they wash the glass1 silver and other metal dishes first1 wiping them while hot and rubbing them till bright and clear4 ,then they wash the dishes not greasy2 and then take another dish cloth and wash the greasy dishes1 rinsing them before putting them to drain4 ,they keep two or three towels in use1 so as to lay one aside when it becomes wet4 ,one towel is usually kept for the dishes that are not greasy4 ,last of all1 they take another dish cloth1 and getting fresh water1 wash the roasters1 gridiron1 pots and kettles4 ,the metals they dry by the fire before setting away4 ,for the nicest dishes1 a swab made of stripes of linen tied to a stick like a small mop1 is very convenient1 and saves the hands from the hot water4 ,be very careful to keep the cellar clean4 ,decayed vegetables in a cellar always endanger the health of a family4 ,many terrible fevers and epidemics have been caused by storing vegetables in cellars and leaving them to send out the poisonous gas that is always exhaled when they decay4 ,always remove any vegetables when they begin to decay4 ,watch the barrels of salt food to see that the meat keeps under the brine4 ,care of ,lamps4 ,this matter demands far more care and neatness than is generally bestowed4 ,this is the way ,i have seen it managed by those most neat and careful4 ,an old waiter is provided to hold all the articles used1 the oil pot has a small turned-up nose that will not drip and is set on a plate1 the wick yarn is kept in a basket and sharp scissors are kept for trimming4 ,great pains is taken to keep all the articles free from oil1 and the rags and towels used are frequently washed and changed4 ,after all the lamps are done1 each lamp is carefully examined to see if it is secured properly1 and wiped entirely clean4 ,then every article used is made so clean and nice that no smell of oil will be caused by using them next time4 ,some housekeepers always do this job themselves1 because they cannot get persons who will do it carefully4 ,nothing makes work go off so easily as having some system in doing it4 ,where the mistress of the family does not arrange your work1 always try to have some plan yourself4 ,for example1 have a particular day of the week for doing particular kinds of work1 and go by the clock as much as you can4 ,on ,friday or ,saturday1 see that your cellar1 closets1 pantry1 are all in order4 ,see also that you have a supply of holders1 dish cloths1 and all the articles you need for washing and ironing4 ,if you will devote one day each week to examining every department and putting all in order1 you will save much time and trouble4 ,on the ,care of ,parlours and ,chambers4 ,in sweeping the nicest parlours1 it is common to cover the tables1 books1 sofas and chimney ornaments with old sheets4 ,then cleanse the fireplace and hearth and jambs4 ,then sweep the carpet4 ,it saves a carpet very much to have a very large flat tin dust pan1 with a handle a yard long1 fixed straight up1 so it will stand alone4 ,this can be moved about without stooping1 and much of the dirt swept into it with the broom1 instead of sweeping all across the carpet4 ,this saves much dust as well as wearing of the carpet4 ,after the dust settles1 dust the articles with old silk handkerchiefs and feather brushes4 ,use a painter's brush for dusting ledges4 ,shake and wash your dust cloths often1 or they get filled with dust and soil the walls and furniture4 ,in dusting1 be careful not to rub your duster against the wall4 ,set all the furniture straight and in regular order--never leave the chairs standing awry1 as if dancing a jig with each other4 ,make them square with the wall4 ,when doing chamber work1 observe the following directions about making a bed4 ,to make a bed4 ,open the windows1 lay off the bed covering on two chairs at the foot1 and let the bed air some time before making it4 ,when ready to make it1 shake the feathers from each corner into the middle1 then take up the middle part and shake it well1 then push about the feathers and turn the bed over4 ,then push the feathers so as to make the head a little higher than the foot1 and the sides as high as the middle part4 ,then put on the bolster1 and then the undersheet so that the marking shall be at the head1 and the right side of the sheet upward1 tucking in all around4 ,then place the pillows so that the open ends shall be at the sides of the bed4 ,then spread on the upper sheet so that the marking shall be at the head1 and the right side downward4 ,this arrangement of the sheets is designed to prevent the part where the feet lie from being turned so as to come to the face1 and to prevent also the parts soiled by the body from touching the bed tick and blankets4 ,then put on the other covering1 tucking in all except the outside one4 ,then smooth the cover and draw the hand along the side of the pillows1 to make an even indentation4 ,when the pillow cases are smooth and clean1 hem over the upper sheet1 and put them on the outside4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sweep clean under beds1 and remove all articles that can be moved1 so as to sweep behind them4 ,wash the bowl and pitcher and tumbler on the wash stand every day4 ,once a week1 scald all the vessels used in a chamber4 ,dust the doors1 ledges1 window sashes1 and every article of furniture4 ,never allow yourself to look in boxes or drawers1 as it is a temptation to honesty1 besides1 being contrary to the wish of employers4 ,never allow yourself to take the most trifling article that belongs to another4 ,nothing is more important to a domestic than a character for honesty1 and nothing grows so fast as habits of dishonesty4 ,if you will steal needles1 thread1 pins1 cord1 or tapes1 you will soon take more valuable things4 ,and it is not the value of the thing taken which makes it an act of theft4 ,stealing is 8taking or using any thing that belongs to another1 without evidence that the owner is willing40 ,and no matter how small the thing is1 it is theft1 as much as if it were greater4 ,and it is not the harm done to another that is most to be feared1 it is the injury done to yourself in forming a habit of dishonesty1 and thus searing your conscience1 and ruining your character4 ,always remember that you are committing a sin1 when you are handling or using any thing that belongs to another1 if you would be unwilling to have the owner suddenly appear and see you doing it4 ,,letter ,,xviii4 ,the ,way to be ,happy4 ,my ,friends3 ,before concluding this little book1 ,i will attempt to make one thing plain to you1 which often puzzles many minds4 ,from the pulpit1 and in many other ways1 you are often urged to become religious4 ,and this duty is spoken of in a great variety of ways1 so that there is a perplexity and difficulty in knowing exactly what it is that you are urged to do4 ,you are sometimes urged 8to become religious10 to 8become pious10 to 8become ,christians20 at other times you are told1 that you must 8repent20 that you must 8be converted20 must 8submit to ,god20 must be 8born again20 must have 8a new heart20 must 8believe in the ,lord ,jesus ,christ20 must have 8faith in ,christ40 ,i have no doubt but that you sometimes feel1 that you do not exactly understand what you are required to do1 and that if any one would explain the matter so that you knew exactly what to do1 you should be willing to do it4 ,now this is what ,i am going to attempt1 and ,i think ,i can make it clear by a simple illustration4 ,suppose a long and lingering sickness should suddenly appear in the place where you live1 and the nurses and physicians could find no cure for it4 ,at length a man appears who claims1 that all who will come to him and obey his prescriptions1 will be cured4 ,some say they believe in him1 and some say they do not4--,some say they have faith in him1 and some say they have not4 ,some come to him and get his directions1 and obey them exactly2 some do not even ask his advice2 others ask for it1 and when it is written out1 lay it up in a drawer and never use it4 ,now1 in this case1 who are the persons who really believe in him1 and really have faith in him8 ,surely it is not those who say they believe in him1 it is only those who go to him1 take his advice1 and to the best of their understanding1 obey it4 ,now1 suppose all who really obeyed his advice were healed1 and then others who had neglected and despised him1 should come to them1 and ask what they should do1 to be cured of that sickness4 ,a variety of answers would be given4 ,it would be said1 you must 8turn and repent0 of your past neglect--you must 8submit0 to this physician--you must 8believe0 in this physician--you must 8have faith0 in this physician4 ,all these directions mean the same thing1 that is1 you must come to the physician for his directions1 and then you must obey them4 ,merely believing that his prescriptions are good1 or going to get them1 without obeying them1 is 8faith without works1 which is dead1 being alone40 ,now this illustrates exactly the state of things in this world4 ,god has created us to be happy1 and this is the great aim of all his dealings with us4 ,but the only way for us to be happy is1 to form that holy1 benevolent1 self-denying character which ,christ came to exhibit on earth4 ,such a character as this1 none of us have1 when we are born4 ,on the contrary1 we all form habits of living merely to seek our own selfish enjoyments4 ,young children find it hard to practise any self-denial1 even for their own good1 and we all find it hard to practise self-denial for the good of others4 ,and yet1 submission of the will to ,god1 and self-denial in securing our own good1 and in doing good to others1 are habits that are indispensable to our present and eternal happiness4 ,now1 ,jesus ,christ came into the world to save it from that long1 lingering disease1 which will certainly end in eternal death1 if not remedied before we leave this world4 ,and he comes to creatures1 who have long been living in entire neglect of his advice and requirements1 and in his holy word1 he teaches them how to be healed4 ,you now can understand that all the directions given1 mean one and the same thing4 ,we become ,christians when we submit to ,christ as our ,lord1 and set out to obey his commands4 ,and the terms 8to become pious0 and 8to become religious10 mean the same thing4 ,we 8repent0 when we are sorry for past neglect1 and show that we are sorry by our future obedience4 ,to be 8converted0 means to be 8turned about10 and this is done when we cease to neglect the directions of ,christ and begin to obey them4 ,to be 8born again0 means1 to come into a new state of being1 and this is true of us1 when we cease to live for ourselves and begin to live for ,christ4 ,we 8submit to ,god0 when we take ,jesus ,christ as our ,lord and ,master1 and submit our will in all things to his4 ,when we are much engaged in any thing1 we say we 8give our whole heart to it10 and when we cease to give the feelings of our hearts to our own pleasures1 and become most interested in pleasing ,christ1 then we have 8a new heart10 that is1 our chief interest is entirely changed4 ,we were most interested in pleasing ourselves1 but now we are most interested in doing the will of ,christ4 ,so we 8believe in ,christ10 and 8have faith0 in him1 when we not only seek to know his will1 but earnestly endeavor to do it4 ,so you perceive1 my friends1 there is no real confusion or difficulty in this matter4 ,you can all of you begin1 this very day1 to be the followers of ,jesus ,christ1 and thus to walk in that path1 which secures true peace in this life1 and eternal happiness beyond the grave4 ,i hope1 therefore1 if you have not done it before1 that you will1 this very day1 take the ,bible1 which contains the directions of ,christ1 and go to your room and resolve to begin immediately to serve ,christ1 and pray to him to help you to persevere4 ,and then every day1 go alone and read in this blessed book1 and pray for help in trying to conform all your conduct to it4 ,this is the way to begin to be a ,christian1 and keeping on thus1 and improving every day more and more1 is the way 8to grow in grace40 ,but you will ask1 perhaps1 ,can ,i convert myself8 ,is it not the ,holy ,spirit that changes the heart8 ,to this ,i reply3 ,no1 you cannot convert yourselves1 and it is the ,spirit of ,god that changes the heart4 ,all your determinations1 and good resolutions1 and continued efforts would be of no avail1 without the help of ,god's ,spirit4 ,but you have got one part to do1 and the ,bible teaches us thus1 on this point3 8,work out your own salvation with fear and trembling1 for it is ,god that worketh in you to will and to do1 of his own good pleasure40 ,this then is our great encouragement to begin to do our part1 and to keep on in our efforts to obey ,christ4 ,we are not left to our own unaided efforts4--,while we are working out our own salvation1 ,god is working in us 8to will and to do10 and this is our grand hope for success in our efforts4 ,but perhaps you will think1 that you must wait till you feel some great distress of mind1 and have convictions of sin1 and such other feelings as you do not find in your own mind4 ,but1 my friends1 there is no need of waiting for any thing4 ,many persons begin to be ,christians1 without any such previous anxiety and distress4 ,begin1 then1 this very day to serve ,christ by 8denying all ungodliness40 ,if you are inclined to be careless1 or to be fretful1 or to be indolent1 or to be heedless and forgetful1 these are the points where you are to begin to 8take up your cross0 and follow after ,christ4 ,it costs us a good deal of self-denial1 when we have careless habits1 to cure them1 or when we are irritable and fretful1 to become meek and patient1 or when we are indolent1 to become industrious1 or when we are negligent and forgetful1 to become thoughtful and attentive4 ,and it is in all such matters that ,jesus ,christ prescribes to us1 8,deny thyself daily1 and take up thy cross and follow me40 ,and we are very apt to undervalue our opportunities of doing good to others1 and to forget that we can imitate ,christ by 8going about doing good40 ,the domestic who sets a good example to young children1 and by words and acts helps to form their character aright1 or who by her labours in the kitchen is contributing to the daily comfort of a household1 and aiding the wife and mother to make a happy home to her husband1 and to train up her children aright1 she surely has a right to feel that she can imitate ,christ by 8going about doing good40 ,let us then1 my friends1 set about the duties of the lot our ,saviour has appointed us1 daily 8looking unto him0 as our pattern1 our guide1 and our ,lord2 daily praying to him for his help and protection1 and then when he1 who is ,master of all the families of earth1 shall appear1 each of us shall hear his voice saying1 8,well done1 good and faithful servant1 enter thou into the joy of thy ,lord40 ,transcriber's ,notes ,variations in spelling and hyphenation remain as in the original4 ,the following corrections have been made to the original text4 ,page #aa3 soon reached theoriginal has 8t e0 ears ,page #af3 on them by the benevolentoriginal has 8enevolent0 king ,page #cg3 become lazy1comma missing in original ignorantoriginal has 8gnorant0 and vicious ,page #fb3 twelve or fourteenoriginal has 8orf ourteen0 hours of hard labour ,page #fc3 and it isoriginal has 8it s0 becoming more and more ,page #gc3 become a neatoriginal has 8eat01 industrious ,page #hc3 always secured for heroriginal has 8he0 if possible ,page #he3 way of raising the respectabilityoriginal has 8respectablity0 of your employment ,page #he3 never will be withheldoriginal has 8witheld0 ,page #ic3 ,eccles4 #e3original has a period #ai ,page #ic3 and setteth up kings40quotation mark missing in original ,dan4 #d3original has a period #cb ,page #acd3 shoot them and put anoriginal has 8and0 end ,page #ach3 when this occurs aoriginal has extraneous comma warning ,page #age3 good plan to have a particularoriginal has 8particalar0 evening ,page #ahe3 you should try not tooriginal has 8to to0 forget next time ,page #ahe3 ,always encourageoriginal has 8enconrage0 them to try again ,page #ahi3 would come down the8the0 missing in original chimney ,page #aij3 labouring1 and wearing out itsoriginal has 8ts0 strength ,page #aif3 all he has to feed theoriginal has 8the the0 poor ,page #bjg3 cut the slices three quarters of anoriginal has 8and0 inch ,page #bjh3 too small for his care and attention4period missing in original ,page #bba3 ,where the mistressoriginal has misress of the family does not arrange your work1 always tryoriginal has 8alwaystry0 to have ,page #bbe3 not the value oforiginal has 8o0 the thing