,,!                     ,,c\ntry ,,s*ool
                 ,an ,ent]ta9m5t 9 ,two 
,sc5es4                            ,,by 
,m4 ,r4 ,,orne4          ,copyright1    
#ahij1 ,,by ,,walt] ,h4 ,,bak]  ,,co4   
,,bo/on                                 
,,sugge/ions4                           
,,! *>act]s 9 ?is little sket* %\ld be  
play$ by prom95t citiz5s ( y\r t[n1 if  
su* c be prevail$ ^u to appe>--! m      
eld]ly1 /aid1 & incongru\s 9 ye>s &     
be>+1 ! bett]4 ,dignifi$ pr(essors1     
judges1 doctors1 lawy]s1 tea*]s1 etc41  
%\ld be prevail$ ^u to =get _! pres5t   
greatness1 don ! co/umes & revive !     
sc5es ( _! y\?4  ,! dress may be left   
l>gely to individual ta/e4 ,%ort        
pantaloons1 jump]s1 long-sleev$ tires1  
caps1 broad-brimm$ /raw hats1 heavy     
c[hide boots1 are sugge/$ = ! g5tlem52  
:ile %ort dresses1 ! hi/oric pantalette1
 sun-bonnets1 tires1 aprons1 etc41 are  
propos$ = ! ladies4 ,! latt] %\ld h _!  
hair braid$ or hang+ 9 long curls4 ,all 
%\ld be neatly dress$ 9 ye old5 "t      

co/umes1 except "o or two1 :o may       
repres5t ! tatt]demalion frat]nity4 ,"o 
( ^! may be ! bright boy ( ! class1 !   
o!r ! dull>d1 :o /umbles ?r\gh 8        
lessons1 loses 8 place1 has a passion = 
cat*+ flies1 ?r[+ spit-balls1 etc4 ,"o  
boy may h a p5*ant = draw+ pictures on 8
 slate or ! blackbo>d1 9 :i* 8 tea*] &  
mates play a prom95t "p z models4 ,"o   
girl a pron5ess = *ew+ gum1 ano!r = l>ge
 pickles2 ano!r ?9ks h]self sm>t1 b     
g5]ally manages to give wrong answ]s4 ,a
 few names h be5 sugge/$ 9 ! dialogue1 b
 !y may be easily v>i$4 ,:]e a "n is n  
necess>y1 ! au?or has us$ ! ^w ,pupil1 s
 t ! p>ts may be di/ribut$ accord+ to ! 
numb] ( p]=m]s4  ,! by-play t goes on   
among ! s*ol>s :o are n recit+ mu/ be ( 
su* a nature t x w n attract ! att5tion 
( ! tea*] unless x is a "p ( !          
programme4  ,! motion song c be         
introduc$ else:]e 9 ! dialogue if       
advisable4  ,z a rule1 pupils %\ld raise
 h&s 7at ! same "t say+ ,huh6 huh6 or   
snapp+ ?umb & f+]71 & obta9 p]mission   

be=e speak+2 b :]e ! dialogue becomes   
spirit$1 ?is rule may be brok54  ,an    
indef9ite numb] c take "p 9 ?is         
ent]ta9m5t4                          ,,!
 ,,c\ntry ,,s*ool4                      
,,introduction4 ,,! curta9 %\ld rise ^u 
an introductory front sc5e depict+ !    
pupils on _! way to s*ool1 s+ly1 or 9   
gr\ps ( two or ?ree1 sw++ book-bags or  
d9n]-pails2 "o gr\p ( girls play        
bean-bag2 a gr\p ( boys play m>bles2 "o 
boy tries to fly a kite2 "s skip1 o!rs  
walk s$ately1 or jump rope1 drive hoop1 
etc4                      7,ent] ,,boy1 
:ittl+47  ,,boy4 ,say1 ,se?1 old        
,hickory's com+6 ,got y\r h&s all wax$1 
sonny8 ',cause y'll h to ket* x hot &   
heavy ?is morn+4 ,tea*]'s awful mad ab\t
 y\r /eal+ ,squire ,gre5's apples4      
,,se? ,,crane 7:o has book-bag1 etc474  
,don't c>e4 ,i a9't go+ to s*ool to-day1
 anyway4 ,i'm go+ to play hookey4       
,,boy4 ,did y\r ma say y might8  ,,se?4 
,bet y\r life %e didn't4 ,i'm n ti$ to  
my ma's apron /r+s1 ,bubby2 ,i'm no     

baby6  ,,boy4 ,"h he comes6 ,run1 ,se?1 
or he'll ket* y4  7,,se? runs (f4 ,tea*]
 passes along say+ ,good-morn+ etc41 to 
*ildr547  ,,boy4 7/ill :ittl+1 to gr\p  
:i* comes up74 ,say1 boys1 ,se? ,crane's
 go+ to play hookey4 ,let's pay1 him    
back = say+ we /ole ,squire ,gre5's     
apples1 w y1 & tell 8 "m8 ,%e's a daisy1
 ?\gh1 a9't %e8  ,,second ,,boy4 ,agre$6
 ,b :o'll tell ! old lady8  ,,boy4 ,let 
,daniel4 ,he's tea*]'s pet anyway1 & if 
he's late1 no?+'ll be said4 ,w y g1     
,dan8  ,,daniel4 ,yes4 ,! old lady'll   
give me "s ( h] nice d\ghnuts4 7,smack+ 
lips1 he runs (f4 ,boys pass (f 9 o!r   
direction1 cry+1 ,save "s = u1 ,dan1    
etc47  ,! above m]ely s]ves to indicate 
! g5]al nature ( ! dialogue t may be    
*>act]i/ically employ$1 ! precise po9ts 
to be made dep5d+ = _! humor\s value s  
entirely ^u ! id5tity ( ! actor 9 ea*   
case & _! contradiction ( 8 well-kn[n "*
 & dignity1 t !y mu/ be left to !       
inv5tion ( ! play]s4 ,! dialogue1 :atev]
 its nature1 %\ld be accompani$ by an   

incessant pantomimic action ( *>act]i/ic
 boyi% antics & practical jokes1 made   
inexpressibly ludicr\s by :isk]s1 bass  
voices1 & o!r p]sonal ana*ronisms4  ,at 
! close ( ?is introductory "p1 & :ile ! 
curta9 is ris+ on ! s*ool sc5e1 a l>ge  
bell %\ld be rung vigor\sly4            
,,! ,,s*oolroom4  ,,sc5e4--,! int]ior ( 
! little r$ s*oolh\se ( our gr&fa!rs4   
,tea*]'s desk at ,r41 /ove ,l41 *air =  
committee man 9 front ( /ove1 desks at  
back1 leav+ an op5 space 9 front =      
classes1 etc4 ,blackbo>d & map at back4 
,blackbo>d d[n 9 ,r4 corn]1 by tea*]'s  
desk1 fac+ h\se4 ,door at back1 ,c4  ,z 
pupils ent] !y c\rtesy to ! tea*]1 &    
aft] hang+ hats & bonnets on nails1 take
 _! seats4 ,"o pupil is grant$ !        
privilege ( r++ ! bell at ! door1       
:]eupon ! re/ ent]4 ,! s*ool is !m call$
 to ord] & ! roll is read4 ,ea* answ]s  
"h or pres5t to 8 "n4 ,:5 ! "n ( ,james 
,pet]s is read !re is no reply4 ,at l5g?
 "o ( ! girls expla9s t he _h to /ay to 
hum to m9d ! baby4 ,ano!r s*ol> reports 

t ! reason ,molly ,j5k9s didn't come 0  
because %e hadn't no %oes4  ,,tea*]4 ,i 
see a few new s*ol>s "h4 ,i w n[ take _!
 names4 ,:at "n d y call y\rself1 sir8  
,j4 ,c4 ,,smi?4 ,i don't call myself any
 names6 ,b ,nappy ,jones does1 & ef he  
ev] does x aga9 7d\bl+ up 8 fi/s &      
?reat5+ ! same1 :o returns ! complim5t71
 ,i'll lick him1 see ef ,i don't6 ,my "n
 is ,julius ,caes> ,smi?1 & don't y =get
 x4  ,,tea*]4 ,h[ old are y1 ,julius    
,caes>8  ,j4 ,c4 ,s4 ,i'm five ye>s old 
next ,*ri/mas4  ,,tea*]4 ,t w d4 ,! next
 s*ol>4  ,j4 ,,call4 ,i'm ,jule ,call1 &
 my bro!r's "n is ,bill ,call4  ,,tea*]4
 ,y\r bro!r c speak = himself4 ,x is v  
improp] to say ,jule & ,bill2 y %\ld say
 ,julius4 ,n[1 :at is y\r "n8  ,j4 ,c4  
,julius ,call1 sir4  ,,tea*]4 ,next8    
,b4 ,,call4 ,bili\s ,call1 sir4         
,,tea*]4 ,:at1 sir6  ,b4 ,c4 ,bili\s    
,call4 7,9 surprise47  ,,tea*]4 ,!re is 
no su* prop] "n z ,bil\s4 ,y\r "n is    
probably ,william4  ,j4 ,c4 ,he's my    
bro!r ,bill anyway1 & ef ,i'm ,julius   

he's ,bili\s1 a9't we8  ,,tea*]4 ,sil5ce
 ,i want no impud5ce f any ( my pupils4 
7,,julius1 sil5c$ b n conv9c$1 %akes 8  
head & ge/iculates to 8 fri5ds1 all (   
:om %[ him _! sympa?y ) 8 views47 ,:at  
is y\r "n1 my de>8  ,z4 ,s4 ,z5obia     
,snell+s1 may x please y1 sir4 7,makes  
l[ c\rtesy47  ,,tea*]4 ,are y a native (
 ?is place8  ,z4 ,s4 ,yes1 sir--"p ( !  
ye>4  ,,tea*]4 ,"p ( ! ye>6 ,:at d y    
mean8  ,z4 ,s4 ,vacations ,i sp5d )     
,aunt ,nancy at 4 7,supply a neighbor+  
t[n47  7,int]ruption 9 ! %ape ( ,,daniel
 ,,web/] ,,tomk9s1 :o ru%es 9 out (     
brea? & trips ov] ! ?re%old1 upsett+    
lun* basket1 reveal+ cont5ts47  ,d4 ,w4 
,t4 ,has bell rang8  ,,tea*] 7sev]ely   
po9t+ to ! door74 ,try t aga91 ,daniel4 
,d4 ,w4 ,t4 ,i got en\gh ( x t "t4 ,let 
"s o!r fell] try x4 7,rubb+ knees &     
elb[s47  ,,tea*]4 ,sit d[n1 sir4  ,d4   
,w4 ,t4 ,wait till ,i pick up "s ( ^!   
cold wittles r\nd "h4  ,,tea*] 7resum+74
 ,next1 :at %all ,i call y8  ,v4 ,m4 ,w4
 ,v5us ,matildy ,weeks4 ,i'm h] si/]4   

7,po9t+47  ,,tea*]4 ,h] "n's ,snell+s & 
y\rs ,weeks2 h['s t8  ,v4 ,m4 ,w4 ,well1
 we didn't us$ to be any relation1 b we 
m>ri$ h] "m--me & my fa!r4  ,,tea*]4    
,oh1 ,i see a second m>riage4 ,:o are y8
 7,sil5ce47 ,i mean ! boy ) r$ hair4    
7,boys nudge & girls giggle47  ,c4 ,c4  
,f4 7ris+ sl[ly47 ,c-,c-,c-,*ri/oph]    
,c-,c-,c-,colum-b-b-b-bus ,f-,f-,fitts4 
,i /-/-/-/utt]6 7,sitt+47  ,,tea*]4 ,ah6
 d y8  ,c4 ,c4 ,f4 7ris+ sl[ly74        
,ye-ye-yes1 sir6 s-s-s-s-sometimes4     
7,sitt+47  ,,tea*]4 ,next6  ,b4 ,f4 ,s4 
7drawl+74 ,my fa!r kn[s y4 ,he us$ t] g 
to s*ool ) y4 ,says y & him play$ hookey
 "o day & tumbl$ int] !                 
mill-pond--&--he6 he6 ye bo? got a      
flogg+6--,my "n's ,b5jam9 ,frankl9      
,sque]s1 l my fa!r's4 7,s*ol>s titt]47  
,,tea*]4 ,t w d1 ,b5jam9 ,frankl94 ,y\r 
fa!r evid5tly _h "s "o else 9 m9d4 ,!   
class may s+ ! multiplication table4    
7,class s+ ,five times "o are five1     
etc41 to ! tune ( ,yankee ,doodle47     
,,tea*]4 ,y may n[ all take y\r books & 

slates4 ,! infant class may pass out on 
! floor4 ,y may look at ! words on !    
bo>d & get ready to read !m4 7,class =ms
 a semicircle 9 front ( tea*]'s desk or 
bo>d4 ,tea*] writes ! foll[+ on bo>d37  
#a4 ,h]od ! tetr>*4 #b4 ,?is is a worm2 
d n tread on x4 #c4 ,?is is ! heir2     
come1 let u kill him4  ,,fir/ ,,boy     
7reads sl[ly74 ,he--rode--!--,don't "k t
 ^w4  ,,tea*]4 ,didn't ,i tell y to /udy
 :ile ,i 0 writ+8  ,,boy4 ,yes1 sir4    
7,cry+47  ,,tea*]4 ,!n g on4  ,,boy4    
,boo-hoo6 ,i c't read x4  ,,tea*]4 ,try 
x aga9 imm$iately4  ,,boy4 ,he          
7boo-hoo67 rode--!--tat]--c>t6 7,weeps  
pr(usely47  ,,tea*]4 ,next s*ol> read x4
  ,,girl4 ,h]od--!--!--! 7is prompt$ by 
someone7 ! tetr>*4  ,,tea*]4 ,v good4   
,next boy1 ! second s5t5ce4  ,,boy4     
,?is--is--a--w>m--,?is--is--a--w>m--d\gh
nut--tread on x4  ,,tea*] 7pres5t+ dunce
 cap74 ,put t on & /& 9 ! corn]4 7,boy  
scuffs to corn]1 :]e he sp5ds 8 "t ?r[+ 
spitballs & eat+ d\ghnuts1 ?r[n him by  
pupils :5 ! tea*] is n look+47 ,next    

read4 7,boy /eps up to ask tea*] ab\t an
 example47  ,,girl 7prompt$ by "o ( !   
boys74 ,?i? i? a wurrum4                
,be--c>eful--n--to--tread--on--x 7aga9  
prompt$71 or x w bite y4  ,,tea*] 7to   
boy74 ,y h multipli$ wrong4 ,let me see3
 five times n9e are =ty-five1 put d[n ! 
five & c>ry ! f\r1 etc4 7,class pu% &   
pull1 b /raight5 into l9e :5 ! tea*]    
looks up47 ,next read4  ,,boy4          
,?is--is--!--hair--comb4                
,let--u--kill--him6  ,,tea*]4 ,i am     
a%am$ ( y4 ,does c-o-m-e spell comb8    
7,s5ds boy ) slate to 8 seat47 ,h&s     
up--^? :o c tell me :at x does spell4   
,well1 ,john8  ,,john4 ,x spells come4  
,,tea*]4 ,"r4 ,y may read x4  ,,john4   
,?is--is--!--hair4                      
,come--let--u--kill--him4 ,ow-oo-oo6    
7,danc+ r\nd47  ,,tea*]4 ,well1 ,john6  
,:at's ! matt]8  ,,john4 ,somebody pull$
 my hair6  ,,tea*] 7sev]ely74 ,:o pull$ 
,john's hair8  ,,pupil4 ,i did2 ,i      
c\ldn't help x4 7,hang+ head47  ,,tea*]4
 ,c\ldn't help pull+ hair6 ,t is a      

likely /ory4 ,y may pass to ! foot4     
,,pupil4 ,no1 ,i c\ldn't4 ,i w5t to     
raise my h& & 8 hair 0 "r 9 ! way4      
7,scuffs to foot47  ,,tea*]4 ,i w try y 
on "o m s5t5ce1 & if y _c read t prop]ly
 y mu/ take y\r seats & /udy4 7,writes3 
,/eph5 says t ! girls are knitt+47 ,next
 read4  ,,pupil4 ,/ep-h56 7,h&s ( class 
g up47  ,,tea*]4 ,wrong6 ,next6 7,is    
int]rupt$ by boy :o wants a dr9k4 ,two  
boys are appo9t$ to get a bucket ( wat] 
& pass x to ! o!rs 9 t9 cups47  ,,next  
,,pupil4                                
,/eph5--says--t--!--girls--are--kiss+4  
7,boys laugh47  ,,girl 7indignantly74   
,he didn't read t "r6  ,,tea*]4 ,v well4
 ,y may read x4  ,,girl 7/ill           
unmollifi$74 ,/eph5 says t girls are    
kitt5s4  7,tea*] s5ds class to seats 9  
disgrace to /udy _! lesson47  ,,boy 79  
seat74 ,tea*]1 h[ _m is five less "o8   
,,tea*]4 ,?9k t out y\rself4 ,if !re 7  
five cr[s 9 ,squire ,gre5's field & y   
%\ld %oot "o1 h[ _m w\ld !re be left8   
,,boy4 ,only "o4  ,,tea*]4 ,:at8 ,?9k   

aga94  ,,boy4 ,! o!r f\r w\ld fly (f1   
w\ldn't !y8  ,,girl 7rais+ h&74 ,h[ _m  
scruples are !re 9 a dra*m8  ,,tea*]4   
,jona?an1 tell ,m>ia h[ _m scruples !re 
are 9 a dra*m4  ,,jona?an4 ,don't "k1   
only t ma said z h[ pa took 8 dram e    
morn+ )\t any scruples4 ,i guess "s     
drams don't h no scruples4  ,,tea*]4    
,bo? ( y ref] to y\r tables4  ,,girl    
7rais+ h&74 ,tea*]1 :y does an elephant 
h a trunk8  ,,boy 7rais+ h&74 ,s's't    
he'd be an elephant1 ( c\rse6  ,,tea*]4 
,i w n[ he> ! class 9 hi/ory4 7,!y pass 
out to places1 ! boys try+ to get a dr9k
 on ! way47 ,! fir/ s*ol> may tell me   
some?+ ab\t ,*ri/oph] ,columbus4  ,,fir/
 ,,girl4 ,*ri/oph] 0 once a little boy l
 me--no1 ,i mean he 0 a little girl l   
me--no1 ,i don't6--well1 he w5t to s*ool
 l me anyway4 ,8 "m's "n 0 ,g5eva4      
,,boy4 ,hoh6 ,x wasn't ei!r4 ,t 0 8     
fa!r's "n4  ,,ano!r ,,girl4 ,tea*]1     
wasn't ,g5eva :]e he 0 born8  ,,tea*]4  
,yes1 ,m>y1 g on4  ,,m>y4 ,somebody     
b\ght him a ya*t or a /eam]1 ,i believe1

 & "o ,friday he sail$ ov] "h to ,am]ica
 & ask$ u if we _h be5 discov]$ yet1 &  
we told him ,no4 ,all "r1 he said1 y h4 
,s he took "s ( our ,indians home ) him 
to tell ! k+ t !y _h be5 discov]$1 & we 
nam$ ! ,unit$ ,/ates aft] him4  ,,tea*]4
 ,t is "r 9 ! ma94 ,"o or two po9ts ,i  
might take exceptions to4 ,! next may   
take ,george ,wa%+ton & tell u ab\t him4
 7,is int]rupt$ by a boy 9 seat :o      
raises 8 h& & asks h[ _m days !re are 9 
a ye>47 ,:o c tell ,julius h[ _m days 9 
a ye>8  ,,v5us4 ,?ree hundr$ &          
sixty-five days & a f\r?4  ,,boy4 ,:at  
d'ye mean by a f\r?8  ,,daniel4 ,f\r? ( 
,july1 ( c\rse6  ,,tea*]4 ,we w he> !   
next s*ol>4  ,,pupil4 ,george 0 born 9  
,wa%+ton1 ,d4,c41 & 0 nam$ = t city4    
,c4 ,c4 ,,fitts4 ,w-w-:at d-d-does      
d-d-d-,d4,c4 m-mean8  ,,pupil4 ,d[n     
,s\?1 don't x1 tea*]8  ,,tea*]4 ,g on ) 
y\r recitation4 ,y ask too _m que/ions4 
,,pupil4 ,8 "m's maid5 "n 0 ,miss       
,hat*et--& 8 fa!r's maid5 "n 0 ,george4 
,,tea*]4 ,next1 g on4  ,,second ,,pupil4

 ,:5 ,wa%+ton wasn't fight+ he liv$ on !
 top ( ,m\nt ,v]non1 & 8 tomb is 9 "o   
side ( ! m\nta94  ,,tea*]4 ,:at day is  
celebrat$ z 8 bir?day8  ,,all 7eag]ly74 
,! ,tw5ty-second ( ,febru>y6  ,,tea*]4  
,:y %\ld 8 bir?day be celebrat$ any m   
?an m9e8                  7,?\ghtful    
sil5ce47  ,,girl 7rais+ h&              
triumphantly74 ,because he nev] told a  
lie6  ,,tea*]4 ,y may take y\r seat     
until y c be m respectful to y\r eld]s4 
,,s*ol> 7at back ( room1 or ne> door74  
,say1 tea*]1 !re's somebody knock+ at ! 
door4 ,i guess x's ! committee6         
,,tea*]4 ,class1 toe ! l9e6 ,s*ol>s1 if 
any "o ( y gets out ( ord] :ile !       
committee is "h ,i'll flog y6 ,d y      
und]/&8  ,,*orus4 ,yes1 sir6  ,,tea*]4  
,m>?a ,wa%+ton ,hibbs1 y may op5 ! door4
      7,ent] ,,mrs4 ,,crane ) h] son by 
! e>47  ,,mrs4 ,,crane4 ,i've br\ght    
him1 ,mr4 ,snodgrass6 ,ne[1 ,se? ,crane1
 y mis]able little truant y1 je/ g & set
 de[n 9 t ere seat & behave y\rself z ef
 y h$ "s br++-up1 or y'll get x :5 y get

 home--& y %a'n't g out to play = a     
week4 ,d y he>8  ,,se? 7boo-hoo+74      
',ta9't my seat6 ,x belongs to a g]rul6 
,my seat's ov] !re4  ,,mrs4 ,,crane4 ,y 
g set de[n1 or ,i'll put ye de[n4 7,,se?
 sits47 ,ne[1 ,mr4 ,snodgrass1 ,i je/   
want y tu make my son behave1 & ef he   
don't1 ,i want ye\ to flog him6--n en\gh
 to hurt him1 = he's a v delicate *ild1 
& ,i w\ldn't hev ! de> boy hurt = no?+2 
b easy l1 j en\gh to make him m9d4      
7,wip+ h] eyes47 ,he is a mo/           
affectionate boy--,se?1 de>1 g "r to    
/udy+ 7to ,,se?1 :o gr[ls1 ,i won't7--& 
m easily l$ ?an driv54 ,b he's s n]v\s6 
,i'm afraid he'll nev] live to gr[ up4  
,:5ev] y see him :isp]+ or play+ 9      
s*ool1 ,mr4 ,snodgrass1 y may be sure   
x's all n]v\sness4 ,he 0 a-go9' to play 
truant to-day1 because he ?9ks y don't l
 him6 ,:at a be-u-tiful s*ool y h--se*  
h&some-look+ boys & girls4  ,,tea*]     
7(f]+ *air74 ,yes1 a v f9e s*ool = ^!   
p>ts4 ,won't y be seat$8  ,,mrs4        
,,crane4 ,m]cy sakes alive6 no4 ,my     

punk9 pies'll be burn$ to c9d]s1 all on 
acc\nt o' t vagabond a-sett9' !re &     
gr9n9' 7%ak+ a w>n+ f+] at him7--ef ,i  
don't give y a wallop+ :5 y get         
hum6--,call re\nd1 ,mr4 ,snodgrass1 &   
git "s o' e\r new apple juice4          
,j]emiah'll be glad tu hev ye4          
,good-morn9'4  ,,tea*]4 ,i ?ank y1      
ma'am4 ,i w ) pleasure4 ,good-morn+4    
7,exit ,,mrs4 ,,crane1 ) a c>d read+    
,,back ,,%ortly p9n$ on h] back by "s   
mis*iev\s s*ol>47  ,,boy 79 seat74 ,:at 
does c-u-t-i-c-l-e mean8  ,,tea*]4 ,:at 
h y all ov] y\r h&s & face8  ,,boy4     
,freckles4  ,,tea*]4 ,well1 t is n :at  
,i 0 ?9k+ ( ,*ri/oph]6  ,c4 ,c4 ,,fitts4
 ,i g-g-guess x's d-d-dirt6  ,,tea*]4   
,!re's a diction>y some:]e 9 !          
s*oolh\se4 ,y may hunt x up & look = t  
^w4 7,! two boys1 appe>+ tir$ &         
disc\rag$1 />t on _! que/1 look+ 9 ! mo/
 unlikely places1 ev5 on ! nails :]e    
pupils' g>m5ts are hung4 ,! que/ %\ld be
 a quiet "o1 ! fun ly+ 9 its utt]       
hopelessness47  ,,boy 79 seat74 ,i don't

 und]/& ?is "q4 7,reads47 ,a milkman    
spill$ a p9t ( milk out ( an            
eight-gallon c1 h[ mu* milk 0 left8     
,,second ,,boy 79 seat74 ,hoh6 t's easy4
 ,!re wasn't none left4  ,,tea*]4       
,expla94  ,,second ,,boy4 ',cause ! re/ 
0 wat]4  ,,tea*] 7resum+74 ,! next may  
tell me ab\t "s ,bible "*4 ,:o 0 ,esau8 
,,pupil4 ,esau liv$ six hundr$ ye>s be=e
 ,*ri/4 ,he wrote fables = a liv+1 &    
sold ! copyright ( !m = a bottle (      
pota%4  ,,girl 7rais+ h&74 ,i ?\ght x 0 
sop t wrote fables4  ,,boy 7rais+ h&74  
,& didn't ,esau sell 8 bir?right1 or 0 x
 copyright8  ,,boy 79 seat1 rais+ h&74  
,x says 9 my book t "s ( ! />s are      
bigg]'n ! e>?2 'ta9't true1 is x8       
,,tea*]4 ,c]ta9ly4 ,:y n8  ,,boy4       
',cause :y don't !y keep ! ra9 (f1 !n8  
,c4 ,c4 ,,fitts4 ',c-c-cause !y're r\nd 
& ! r-r-r-ra9 s-s-slides (f onto u6     
7,o!r h&s are rais$47  ,,girl4 ,:at's ! 
capital ( ,turkey8  ,,tea*]4 ,c y answ] 
t1 ,john8  ,,john 7:o has be5           
inatt5tive74 ,x hasn't any capital4 ,pa 

says x's bankrupt4  ,,boy4 ,if y        
multiply =ty-two apples by six p\nds (  
beef ! answ]'ll be m9ce pies1 won't x8  
,,tea*] 7to s*ol>s 9 seats74 ,class1 c  
two concrete numb]s be multipli$ toge!r8
  ,,*orus4 ,no1 sir6  ,,boy4 ,i don't   
see any?+ concrete ab\t apples1 or beef 
ei!r4  ,,girl4 ,does ! ,i/hmus ( ,panama
 connect ! nor? & s\? pole8  ,,tea*]4   
,look at y\r map & see4  ,,girl4 ,does  
s-l-o-u-g-h spell sl\gh8  ,,tea*]4 ,yes4
  ,,girl4 ,!n c-o-u-g-h spells c[1      
doesn't x8  ,,tea*]4 ,no1 t spells c\gh4
  ,,girl4 ,b-o-u-g-h spells buff1 !n1 & 
p-l-o-u-g-h1 pluff8  ,,tea*]4 ,no1 b\gh 
& pl\gh are ! words y h spell$4  ,,girl4
 ,!n does d-o-u-g-h spell d[1 or duff1  
or d(f8  ,,tea*]4 ,x spells nei!r2 y\r  
la/ ^w is d\gh4  ,,girl4 ,is r-o-u-g-h  
r[1 or r[1 or r(f8 o z 9 m[1 o z 9 h[   
,,tea*]4 ,none ( !m4 ,x is r\gh4  ,,girl
 79 despair74 ,well1 h[ c y tell8       
,,s*ol> 7ne> door74 ,tea*]1 ,i j se5 !  
committee1 ,squire ,small1 com+ d[n !   
hill pa/ ,squire ,gre5's b>n4 7,laugh+47

 ,he tri$ to jump ! wall & tumbl$ ov] x4
 ,i guess 8 rheumatiz caught him4       
,,tea*] 7ha/ily74 ,?is class may take _!
 seats4 7,rap at door47 ,all :o are out 
( _! seats may return to !m4 ,rememb]   
:at ,i said ab\t disord]4 ,heads erect4 
,rememb] y\r mann]s4 ,m>ia ,sophrony1 ! 
door4 7,ent] ,,committee-,,man2 all     
rise47  ,,*orus 7drawl+74               
,good-morn+--,mr4 ,committee-man6       
,,com4 ,good-morn9'1 boys & gals6       
,good-morn9'1 ,mr4 ,snodgrass4 7,%akes  
h&s47 ,?\ght ,i'd je/ drap 9 to exam9e  
ye1 be9' ! dee/rict committee1 an' see  
h[ ! edification 0 gett9' on4 ,i spose  
ye hev 'rit9' an' riff5tick an' read9' e
 day8  7,a boy beg9s to draw a c>icature
 ( ! visitor on black bo>d at back47    
,,tea*]4 ,oh1 yes1 yes1 e day1--t is1 we
 %all aft] we get fully />t$2 b x's r   
e>ly 9 ! t]m to exam9e1 isn't x8  ,,com4
 ,no6--no6--an' hi/]y1 an' filos]py1 an'
 quotations1 an' flirtations1 an'       
k]drilles1 an' all !m ?+s4  ,,tea*]4    
,yes1 yes2 t is1 mo/ ( !m4  ,,com4      

7sev]ely74 ,mo/ on 'em1 ,mr4 ,snodgrass8
 ,don't ye hev 'em all8  ,,tea*]4 ,oh1  
yes6 all y w\ld approve (4  ,,com4 ,wal1
 s'pose ye call out a class & let me    
exam9e 'em4 7,takes (f coat & seats     
himself1 plac+ 8 hat on floor47         
,,tea*]4 ,:at w y h1 geography or       
spell+8  ,,com4 ,wal1 ye\ je/ h& me a   
spell9'-book an' ,i'll put 'em ?r\gh a  
c\rse o' spr\ts on t4  ,,tea*]4 ,fir/   
class 9 spell+1 rise & take places4 7,a 
g5]al scramble = places47  ,,fir/       
,,pupil4 ,tea*]1 ,i'm head4 ,i got above
 him ye/]day4  ,,second ,,pupil4 ,he    
didn't4 ,i spell$ catalepsy fir/ & got  
above him4 7,try+ to pass47  ,,tea*]4   
,?omas ,h5ry1 take ! head2 ! o!r two may
 g to ! foot4 7,bo? g d[n & scramble = !
 foot47  ,,?ird ,,pupil4 ,?omas ,h5ry   
p9*$ me4  ,,tea*]4 ,he may g to ! foot  
also4  ,,?ird ,,pupil 7danc+ on "o foot1
 hold+ ! o!r 9 8 h&s74 ,ow6 he trod on  
my foot4  ,,?omas ,,h5ry4 ,he %\ldn't h 
su* big feet4 ,i c\ldn't /op to g r\nd4 
,,tea*]4 ,?omas ,h5ry1 y may /op aft]   

s*ool & ,i'll rem9d y ( a little promise
 ,i made a :ile ago4 7,,"o & ,,two      
rejoice 9 dumb %[ ov] ,,?omas ,,h5ry',s 
d[nfall47 ,julius1 /& erect4 ,m>y1 take 
t gum out ( y\r m\?4 ,br+ t apple to me4
 ,all1 toe ! l9e4 ,att5tion6  ,,com4    
,ne[1 s*ol>s1 !re is "o ?+ ,i'm v       
p]tickl] 'b\t1 & t is pron\nc-ation4 ,i 
want e "o on ye tu be ke]ful on t "o    
p'int4 ,! fu/ ^w is *>itable4  ,,head   
,,pupil 7sl[ly74 ,c-h-a-i-r1 *>--i-t1   
x--*>it--t-a1 ta--*>ita--b-u-l1         
ble--*>itable4  ,,com4 7exam9+ book     
closely74 ,wrong6 ,next6  ,,second      
,,pupil 7) _s74 ,c-h-a-i-r spells *air1 
& t-a-b-l-e spells table1 & i-t spells  
x2 !re=e1 c-h-a-i-r-i-t-t-a-b-l-e spells
 *>itable4  ,,com4 7d\btfully74 ,wal1   
t's putty /raight reason9'1 an' ,i      
reckon y're "r1 ?\gh 'ta9't je/ l !     
book4 ,take y\r place4 ,next1 m]lasses4 
,,?ird ,,pupil4 ,m-e-r1 m]4  ,,f\r?     
,,pupil 7rais+ h&74 ',ta9't m]lasses2   
x's molasses4  ,,com4 7exam9+ book74 ,i 
reckon ,i've se5 m m]lasses ?an y ev]   

se5 an' ought] "k :at x is by ?is "t4   
,m]lasses1 ,i said1 an' m]lasses x %all 
be4  ,,?ird ,,pupil4 ,please1 sir1 ,i   
c't spell x4  ,,com4 ,:y n8  ,,?ird     
,,pupil4 ,i a9't got no book4  ,,com4   
,:]e is y\r book8  ,,?ird ,,pupil4 ,i   
dropp$ x into a mud-puddle on ! way to  
s*ool1 & ! lesson come out4  ,,com4     
,next4  ,,f\r? ,,pupil4                 
,m-o-l-a-s-s-e-s1 molasses4  ,,com4 ,t  
don't s\nd je/ "r1 b y've got ! book on 
y\r side1 s ,i s'pose x's all "r4 ,take 
y] place6 7,,numb] ,,f\r is tripp$ by   
,,numb] ,,?ree47 ,ne[ ,i'd l tu see a   
leetle writ9'4 ,! next may take ! ^w    
squ&]s & put x 9 a s5t5ce on !          
blackbo>d4  7,,numb] ,,five writes 9 a  
legible s*oolboy h&1 ,! boy squ&]s r\nd 
a good deal4 ,,fif? ,,pupil reads :at he
 has writt547  ,,com4 ,v good4 ,! next  
may take cornice 9 ! same way4 7,aft] a 
good deal ( eras+ he writes3 ,i w meat y
 on ! cornice4 ,,six? ,,pupil reads :at 
he has writt547  ,,com4 ,! next k5 take 
lioniz$1 & ! next sp9/]4  ,,sev5?       

,,pupil 7writes & reads74 ,daniel 0     
lioniz$ 9 ! lions' d54  ,,eigh? ,,pupil 
7writes & reads74 ,se? ,crane is a      
sp9/]4  ,,com4 ,wall1 ,i h$ an idee t a 
sp9/] 0 allus a woman4 7,scrat*+ 8      
head47  ,,eigh? ,,pupil4 ,my book says t
 er means "o :o1 & anyway bak] means "o 
:o bakes1 & build] means "o :o          
builds--&--  ,,fir/ ,,pupil4 ,does      
,quak] mean "o :o quakes8  ,,com4 ,t    
a9't to ! p'int1 z ,i k5 see6  ,,eigh?  
,,pupil4 ,well1 a sp9/] is "o :o sp9s1  
a9't x8  ,,com4 ,mebbe1 mebbe6 ,b he[ k5
 ye say t ( ,se? ,crane1 t nev] did a   
useful ?+ 9 8 life8  ,,eigh? ,,pupil4 ,i
 %\ld ?9k t any fell> t sp9s a top 'ud  
be a sp9/]4  ,,com4 ,wal1 y've got me   
!re1 y\ng/]4 ,i reckon ye're "r4 ,next1 
tell me ! mean+ ( excruciat+4  ,,girl   
7glibly74  ,excruciat+ means t natural &
 peculi> prohibition ( undulatory &     
molecul> attraction :i* encompasses !   
plausibility ( capill>y promulgation &  
gelat9\s hyp]bole1 :ile giv+ an enallage
 ( p>adigms4  ,,com4 ,t's a likely gal4 

,y'll make a good h\sekeep] "o ( ^!     
days4 ,ef my wife h$ se* a mem'ry z t1  
,i %\ldn't c>ry h] lett]s 9 my pocket tu
 weeks be=e mail9' 'em4  ,,same ,,pupil4
 ,yes1 sir2 ?ank y1 sir4 ,b ,i don't q  
und]/& :at x means by encompass+ !      
plausibility ( capill>y promulgation6   
,,com4 ,oh--ahem6--t is v simple--ahem6 
ahem6 9 fact x is simplicity itself4 ,x 
means--x means--well1 ,i don't want to  
ov]tax y\r "y bra91 my de>1 s ,i w n    
expla9 n[2 b "o ( ^! days1 :5 y are z   
wise z me & y\r tea*]1 y w und]/& all ^!
 pr(\nd ?\ghts4 ,ha9't t s1 ,mr4        
,snodgrass8 ,next1 t]back]4  ,,sev5?    
,,pupil4 ,t-e-r1 t]--b-a-c-k1           
back--t]back--k-e-r1 k]--t]back]4 ,a    
poison\s leaf ) nigg]t9e 9 x2 & ef !    
nigg]t9e gets into ! ci/]n1 x'll kill a 
man quick]'n a dog4  ,,fir/ ,,pupil4 ,i 
don't believe x's a poison4 ,my bro!r   
smokes & he a9't dead2 'nd my fa!r's    
fifty ye>s old 'nd he's smok$ = mo/ =ty 
ye>s 'nd he a9't dead yet4  ,,f\r?      
,,pupil4 ,pooh6 ,t's no?+4 ,ef y\r fa!r 

h$n't smok$1 he might] be5 a hundr$ by  
?is "t4  ,,eigh? ,,pupil4 ,my gr&fa!r's 
n9ety ye>s old & he's smok$ too6  ,,f\r?
 ,,pupil4 ,well1 & ef my gr&fa!r 0 alive
 he'd be a hundr$ & fifty ye>s old6 ,s t
 don't prove no?+4  ,,?ird ,,pupil4     
,tobacco a9't no poison] nor pickles1   
anyh[4 7,groan f ! girls47 ,i w5t into !
 /ore t'o!r day to get "s pickles = ma1 
& a fell]--he 0 "o o' !m city *aps t    
sells ?+s--& he said1 ,y a9't go+ to eat
 !m s\r gre5 ?+s1 are y8 & ,i said1 ,no1
 ,i ha9't2 :y8 ,& he told me ( a girl   
sev5te5 ye>s old :o eat pickuls & di$6  
7,horrifi$ look on girls' faces47 ,& !y 
op5$ h] /ummick & !m pickuls _h turn$   
ev]y?+ 9 x tu glass66 7,confusion &     
:isp]+ among ! girls4 ,!y indignantly   
%ake _! heads & say1 ,i don't believe x1
 etc41 etc47  ,,com4 ,ord]6 7,p\nd+     
table47 ,ord]6 ,! next may expla9       
ph5om5a4  ,,girl 7glibly74 ,ph5om5a is t
 immaculate prepond]ance ( pret]natural 
possibility z to make an exagg]at$      
conception ( auxili>y prec$5ts1 &       

oleag9\s metamorphosis into an          
indivisible syn!tical analysis4  ,,com4 
,t's putty good4 ,y hev exce$$ my       
suspicions & ,i am disguis$ t yu %\ld du
 s well4 ,?is is ! mo/ sup]natural class
 ,i ev] se54 ,mr4 ,snodgrass1 ,i        
congratt]late y on se* ambigu\s pupils4 
,gee !re n[ & take y] seats4 7,class    
pass to seats47 ,ne[ ye\ a9't got no    
little song y c s+1 hev ye8  ,,*orus4   
,yes1 yes1 our ,motion ,song6  ,,com4   
,wal1 ,i w\ldn't m9d he>+ x1 ,mr4       
,snodgrass1 ef x's conw5i5t4  ,,tea*]4  
,y may all put away y\r books4  ,,boy   
7laugh+74 ,he6 he6 he6  ,,tea*]4 ,rob]t1
 /&6 ,expla9 :at y 7 laugh+ at4  ,,rob]t
 7half laugh+ & half cry+74 ,nappy      
,jones says t ,se? ,gre5's /rip$ /ock+s 
make him look l a b>b]'s pole6  ,,com4  
7laugh+74 ,wal1 he's only a leetle %av]1
 anyh[6 ,a9't t s1 ,se?8  ,,se?4 ,yes   
sir6 7,d\bl+ up fi/s & ?reat5+ ,n4      
,,jones47 ,y je/ wait till ,i ket* y    
aft] s*ool6 7,said 9 an und]tone47      
,,tea*]4 ,rob]t1 g out 9 ! %$ & *op     

to-morr['s wood4 ,i'll excuse y ! re/ ( 
! morn+4 7,exit ,,rob]t47  ,,se?4       
,tea*]1 c ,i help him8  ,,tea*]4 ,yes4  
7,exit ,,se?1 :o grimaces at ,,jones z  
he goes out47  7,! ,,tea*] n[ takes     
tun+-=k & gives ! pit*4 ,! new s*ol>s1  
)\t creat+ any di/urbance1 c make       
ludicr\s attempts to take ! movem5ts ) !
 o!rs4 ,z ! s++ beg9s !                 
,,committee-,,man rises1 :]eupon a boy  
imm$iately takes 8 hat f ! floor & puts 
x 9 ! *air he has j vacat$47            
,,recreation ,,song4  ,,tune4--,:5      
,johnny comes m>*+ home aga94--         
,,motions4 7#a47 ,s*ool rise & /& erect4
 7#b47 ,raise h&s ready to /rike4 7#c47 
,clap h&s 9 correct "t4 7#d47 ,turn r\nd
 twice :ile repeat+ ?is l9e4 7#e47      
,tread1 left & "r foot4 7#f47 ,"r arm   
across wai/1 left at side4 7#g47 ,t\* "r
 h& to =ehead1 l milit>y salute4 7#h47  
,keep m>*+ "t ) feet4 7#i47 ,raise h&s1 
palms out1 spread f+]s4 7#aj47 ,h&s on  
hips1 elb[s out1 look sideways at ea*   
o!r4 7#aa47 ,make a l[ b[4 7#ab47 ,hop  

lightly on ea* foot4 7#ac47 ,let arms   
hang & sw+4 7#ad47 ,fold arms1 gr[      
sleepy4 7#ae47 ,drop heads4 7#af47      
,glide into seats1 s+ sl[ly & s(tly1    
nodd+ heads1 & dim9i%+ tone gradually to
 la/ note1 f9ally re/+ arms on ! desks &
 support+ heads asleep4 ,aft] a mom5t ( 
dead sil5ce1 tea*] may /rike bell       
sudd5ly1 :5 all mu/ raise heads 7#ag47 &
 h&s z if fright5$ & g on 7all seat$74  
7#ah47 ,rub eyes ) knuckles4 7#ai47     
,take books hurri$ly4 7#bj47 ,turn      
leaves quickly ) ?umbs4 7#ba47 ,?r[     
heads f side to side ) c>eless          
good-nature4 ,! la/ l9e ( e v]se %\ld be
 repeat$4           7#a47 ,) %\ld]s     
erect & toes turn$ out1                 
,hurrah6 ,hurrah6                ,n[ let
 u 9 unison gayly %\t1                  
,hurrah6 ,hurrah6          7#b47 ,) h&s 
uprais$ z we s+ ! rhyme1          7#c47 
,we /rike !m toge!r to keep ! "t1 3     
7#d47 ,& we'll :eel q r\nd :ile s++ our 
motion song4 3           7#e47 ,n[ left 
& "r we'll m>* along1                   

,hurrah6 ,hurrah6               ,we fill
 ! air ) our m]ry song1                 
,hurrah6 ,hurrah6          7#f47 ,we    
c>ry our muskets l h]oes ( old1         
7#g47 ,salut+ our capta9 s brave & s    
bold1 3 7#h47 ,& we m>*1 m>*1 m>* :ile  
s++ our motion song4 3           7#i47  
,our f+]s & ?umbs are eight & two1      
,hurrah6 ,hurrah6               ,!re's  
pl5ty ( "w = !m to d1                   
,hurrah6 ,hurrah6          7#aj47 ,)    
elb[s akimbo & looks s %y1              
7#aa47 ,we b[ to our p>tn]s s           
gracefully1 3 7#ab47 ,& we hop & dance  
:ile s++ our motion song43              
7#ac47 ,z back & =? our arms we ?r[1    
,heigh-ho6 ,heigh-ho6                   
,x's pretty h>d "w n[1 y may "k1        
,heigh-ho6 ,heigh-ho6          7#ad47 ,=
 try+ our be/ our eyes op5 to keep1     
7#ae47 ,we drop all our heads z if go+  
to sleep1 3 7#af47 ,& we nod1 nod1 nod1 
:ile s++ our motion song43              
7#ag47 ,:at t]rible noise is t we he>8  
,de> me6 ,de> me6          7#ah47 ,we've

 all be5 snooz+1 t's q cle>4            
,de> me6 ,de> me6          7#ai47 ,s let
 u take books & be ready = "w1          
7#bj47 ,= we are n will+ our lessons to 
%irk1 3 7#ba47 ,?\gh x's jolly good fun1
 :5 s++ our motion song43   ,,com4 ,v   
good1 *ildr51 v good4 ,yew hev a v well 
behav$ s*ool1 ,mr4 ,snodgrass4 7,sits   
d[n on 8 hat1 cru%+ x all out ( %ape4   
,pupils all laugh4 ,,com4 picks x up &  
po9ts at x indignantly4 ,,tea*]         
apologizes 9 pantomime4 ,,com4          
res5tfully turns & />ts to set x on !   
/ove1 b burns himself 9 s do+4 ,pupils  
laugh4 ,,com4 %akes 8 fi/ at !m & exits 
angrily47  ,,boy 7rais+ h&74 ,tea*]1    
,matildy ,weeks keeps laugh+ at me4     
,,tea*]4 ,y %\ldn't look at h]1 !n4     
,,boy4 ,%e'll laugh to "s o!r fell] ef  
,i don't4 7,gr9s47  7,,girl ne>         
,,*ri/oph] ,,columbus ,,fitts laughs    
al\d47  ,,tea*]4 ,mehitable1 0 t y      
laugh$8  ,,mehit4 ,yes1 sir4 ,i c\ldn't 
help x4 7,laughs47 ,*ri/oph] ,columbus  
ask$ me if ,i lov$ c>rots4 7,all look at

 ,c4 ,c41 :o is va9ly try+ to hide an   
imm5se c>rot by putt+ x 9 8 pocket47    
,,tea*]4 ,br+ t ?is way1 sir4  ,c4 ,c4  
,f4 7pres5t+ ! c>rot74 ,y-y-y c-c-c-c   
h-h-h x6 ,i d-d-d-don't want x6         
,,tea*]4 ,i ?9k ! be/ puni%m5t ,i c give
 y1 ,*ri/oph]1 = y\r disob$i5ce is to   
make y eat x be=e ! class4  ,,*ris4 79  
dismay74 ,i d-d-didn't b-b-b-b-b-br+ x  
t-t-to eat m-m-myself4 ,! d-d-doctor    
s-s-s-said ,i m-mu/n't eat "o m         
c-c-c-c-c>rot4 ,if ,i d-d-did ,i w\ld   
d-d-die6 ,i d-d-don't want to d-d-die6  
7,cry+47  ,,tea*]4 ,i'll let y (f on "o 
condition1 & t is t y'll br+ a cabbage  
to-morr[ morn+ to g ) x4  ,,*ris4       
,y-yes1 s-sir4 ,i'll br+ t-t-t-two6 7,is
 s5t to seat1 rejoic+47  ,,boy4 ,is     
,squire ,small's cane a piece ( ! ,nor? 
,pole8  ,,tea*]4 ,joseph1 :5 w y ev]    
le>n any?+8 ,if y /udi$ y\r lessons y   
nev] w\ld ask su* a "q4  ,,joseph4 ,i   
didn't see no?+ 'b\t ,squire ,small's   
cane 9 my book4  ,,tea*]4 ,i told y to  
prep>e a composition = to-day4 ,h[ _m   

are ready8 7,no response = a second2 !n 
boy ne> ,,jones po9ts at him & says1    
,nappy ,jones has4 ,,jones %akes 8 head 
& pret5ds t he hasn't1 until call$ out  
by ! tea*]1 :5 he produces f 8 pocket a 
/rip ( pap] ab\t two y>ds long :i* he   
proce$s to unroll4 ,! top is ti$ ) a    
/rip ( bright-color$ calico 9 imitation 
( graduation essays4 ,he makes an awkw>d
 b[ to ! audi5ce & reads37              
,,composition ,,on ,,boys4  7,i didn't  
want t] write ?is comp]sition1 b pa said
 ,i mu/ 'cause he wants me t] be a lawy]
 "o ( ^! days4 ,?is is a h>d _w fur     
boys1 anyway4 ,x doesn't make no        
diffrunce :at a boy does or says1 he's  
sure t] get int] tr\ble47  ',ta9't s )  
girls4 ,ev]y?+ girls does is "r4 ,i     
wi%'t ,i 0 a girl4 ,i'm ! only boy 9 our
 family1 'nd x's a awful responsibility 
to be ! only boy4 ,i've got ?ree si/]s1 
b !y're all girls4 ,sis & ,tom ,gold]   
took me to ! city t'o!r day1 & we took  
our d9n] at a bang-up hotel1 ,i tell y4 
,:5 ! wait] arsk$ me ef ,i'd hev ! bill 

( f>e ,i said1 ,?ank y1 je/ z p]lite z  
,i knew h[1 b x made ,sis mad b'cause ,i
 told him ,only a little piece1 please4 
,h['d ,i "k :at x 01 :5 !y hev se*      
outl&i% names fur ?+s6 ,tom l>f$ & l>f$2
 b ,i told ! wait] he mu/n't m9d him2 he
 0 my si/]'s fell]1 & ,i guess$ he w>n't
 us$ t] city ways2 b he 0 all "r & z ri*
 z a ,jew4 ,ev]ybody b ,sis at t 0 hotel
 seem$ good-natur$4 ,! wait] 0 orful    
jolly1 too4 ,i po9t$ out to him a       
sickly-look+ *ap--,tom said he 0 a      
dude--at an opposite table & told him t 
dude 0 eat+ ! b\quet1 & h[ t fell] l>ft6
 ,he said x 0 only cel]y1 & w\ldn't ,i l
 "s1 b ,i told him1 ,no1 ?ank y1 ,i'd   
ru!r hev my gre5s cook$4 ,on ! way home 
,sis took (f h] hat & put x on ! seat 9 
front ( h]1 )\t say+ any?+ to me ab\t x4
 ,ov c\rse :5 ,i sot d[n t hat 0 "r "u  
me & fea!r 'nd all 0 jamb$ flatt]'n a   
pancake4 ,tom l>f$1 b ,sis didn't4 ,he  
said he guess$ ,i ?ort ,i 0 a-sitt9' on 
! /yle4 ,:5 ,i got home ,i felt's if    
,i'd be5 a-sett9' on a hornet's ne/4    

,pa's ! mo/ onreasonable man ,i ev] se56
 ,he told me "o day n t] pick ano!r fl[]
 out] ! g>d+ )\t leave2 s next "t ,i 0  
je/ z ke]ful z ,i c\ld be 'nd pick$ 'em 
all ) leaves4 ,p]haps y won't believe x1
 b ,i got a ?ra%+ fur t4 ,!n "o d>k     
night1 z pa & me w5t out t] ! b>n1 pa   
run aga9/ a po/1 & he said he wi%$ t    
d>n$ po/ 0 9 ! l[] regions2 b ,i told   
him he'd bett] n wi% x !re1 fur he might
 run into x aga94 ,b :at's ! use o' try+
 to help y\r relations8 ,i h$ to g to b$
 a week "r aft] supp]1 je/ fur t4 ,b    
,i'd ru!r d t ?an hev ma talk to me1    
%e's s orful sob] ab\t x4 ,%e f9i%$ up a
 long talk la/ ,sunday night )1 ,i hev  
tri$ to give y e advantage1 ,napoleon1 &
 ?is is h[ y treat me2 & ,i said1 ,(    
c\rse ,i w\ldn't take advantage ( my ma1
 'nd ,i vum ef %e didn't tell pa ( t4   
,x's orful disc\rag+ to be a boy4 ,i    
%a'n't try v mu* long]4 ,i %all be glad 
:5 ,i'm a lawy]1 'cause !n ,i c be z    
wick$ z ,i want to4 7,b[s & returns to  
seat47  7,s*ool !n s+s ,auld ,lang      

,syne1 & hav+ be5 dismiss$ by ,,tea*]1  
exeunt ) *>act]i/ic noise47             
,,curta94