,,hints ,,on ,,child-,,training         
,,by    ,h4 ,,clay ,,trumbull           
,,editor ,,of ,,the ,,sunday-,,school   
,,times2 ,,author ,,of ,,teaching ,,and 
,,teachers1  ,,yale ,,lectures ,,on     
,,the ,,sunday-,,school1 ,,etc4         
,,philadelphia    ,,john ,d4 ,,wattles1 
,,publisher    #ahia    ,,copyright1    
#ahij  ,,by  ,h4 ,,clay ,,trumbull      
,,preface4      ,hints on               
,child-,training may be helpful1 where a
 formal treatise on the  subject would  
prove bewildering4 ,it is easier to see 
how one phase or  another of children's 
needs is to be met1 than it is to define
 the  relation of that phase of the case
 to all other phases1 or to a system    
that includes them all4 ,therefore it is
 that this series of ,hints is  ventured
 by me for the benefit of young parents1
 although ,i would not  dare attempt a  
systematic treatise on the entire       
subject here touched  upon4    ,thirty  
years ago1 when ,i was yet a young      
father1 a friend1 who  knew that ,i had 

for years been interested in the study  
of methods  of education1 said to me1   
8,trumbull1 what is your theory of      
child-training80 8,theory80 ,i          
responded4 8,i have no theory in that   
matter4 ,i had lots of theories before  
,i had any children2 but now ,i  do1    
with fear and trembling1 in every case  
just that which seems to  be the better 
thing for the hour1 whether it agrees   
with any of my old  theories or not40   
,whatever theory of child-training may  
show itself in these ,hints1 has  been  
arrived at by induction in the process  
of my experiences with  children since  
,i had to deal with the matter          
practically1 apart from  any            
preconceived view of the principles     
involved4 ,every suggestion in  these   
,hints is an outcome of experiment and  
observation in my life as a  father and 
a grandfather1 while it has been        
carefully considered in the  light of   
the best lessons of practical educators 
on every side4    ,these ,hints were    

begun for the purpose of giving help to 
a friend4 ,they  were continued because 
of the evident popular interest in them4
 ,they  are sent out in this completed  
form in the hope that they will prove of
  service to parents who are feeling the
 need of something more practical  in   
the realm of child-training than        
untested theories4      ,h4 ,,clay      
,,trumbull4      ,,philadelphia1        
,september #ae1 #ahij4                  
,,contents4        ,i4                  
,,page      ,,child-,,training3 ,,what  
,,is ,,it8                        #aa   
,,ii4      ,,the ,,duty ,,of ,,training 
,,children                      #ag     
,,iii4      ,,scope ,,and ,,limitations 
,,of ,,child-,,training            #bc  
,,iv4      ,,discerning ,a ,,child',s   
,,special ,,need ,,of ,,training        
#bi        ,v4      ,,will-,,training1  
,,rather ,,than ,,will-,,breaking       
#cg        ,,vi4      ,,the ,,place ,,of
 8,,must0 ,,in ,,training               
#ec        ,,vii4      ,,denying ,a     

,,child ,,wisely                        
#fa        ,,viii4      ,,honoring ,a   
,,child',s ,,individuality              
#ga        ,,ix4      ,,letting ,,alone 
,,as ,a ,,means ,,of ,,child-,,training 
#hc        ,x4      ,,training ,a       
,,child ,,to ,,self-,,control           
#ic        ,,xi4      ,,training ,a     
,,child ,,not ,,to ,,tease              
#aja        ,,xii4      ,,training ,a   
,,child',s ,,appetite                   
#aji        ,,xiii4      ,,training ,a  
,,child ,,as ,a ,,questioner            
#aai        ,,xiv4      ,,training ,a   
,,child',s ,,faith                      
#abi        ,,xv4      ,,training       
,,children ,,to ,,sabbath ,,observance  
#aci        ,,xvi4      ,,training ,a   
,,child ,,in ,,amusements               
#aee        ,,xvii4      ,,training ,a  
,,child ,,to ,,courtesy                 
#afe        ,,xviii4      ,,cultivating 
,a ,,child',s ,,taste ,,in ,,reading    
#age        ,,xix4      ,,the ,,value   
,,of ,,table-,,talk                     

#ahg        ,,xx4      ,,guiding ,a     
,,child ,,in ,,companionships           
#aig        ,,xxi4      ,,never ,,punish
 ,a ,,child ,,in ,,anger                
#bje        ,,xxii4      ,,scolding ,,is
 ,,never ,,in ,,order                   
#bag        ,,xxiii4      ,,dealing     
,,tenderly ,,with ,a ,,child',s ,,fears 
#bbc        ,,xxiv4      ,,the ,,sorrows
 ,,of ,,children                        
#bci        ,,xxv4      ,,the ,,place   
,,of ,,sympathy ,,in ,,child-,,training 
#bdg        ,,xxvi4      ,,influence    
,,of ,,the ,,home ,,atmosphere          
#beg        ,,xxvii4      ,,the ,,power 
,,of ,a ,,mother',s ,,love              
#bfc        ,,xxviii4      ,,allowing   
,,play ,,to ,a ,,child',s ,,imagination 
#bgg        ,,xxix4      ,,giving       
,,added ,,value ,,to ,a ,,child',s      
,,christmas         #bhc        ,,xxx4  
,,good-,,night ,,words                  
#bia        ,,index                     
#cja          ,i4    ,,child-,,training3
 ,,what ,,is ,,it8      ,the term       

8training10 like the term 8teaching10 is
 used in various  senses2 hence it is   
liable to be differently understood by  
different  persons1 when applied to a   
single department of a parent's duties  
in  the bringing up of his children4    
,indeed1 the terms 8training0 and       
8teaching0 are often used               
interchangeably1 as covering the entire 
process of a child's education4 ,in this
 sense a child's training  is understood
 to include his teaching2 and1 again1   
his teaching is  understood to include  
his training4 ,but in its more          
restricted sense  the training of a     
child is the shaping1 the developing1   
and the  controlling of his personal    
faculties and powers2 while the teaching
 of  a child is the securing to him of  
knowledge from beyond himself4    ,it   
has been said that the essence of       
teaching is causing another  to know4   
,it may similarly be said that the      
essence of training is  causing another 
to do4 ,teaching gives knowledge4       

,training gives  skill4 ,teaching fills 
the mind4 ,training shapes the habits4  
,teaching  brings to the child that     
which he did not have before4 ,training 
enables  a child to make use of that    
which is already his possession4 ,we    
teach a  child the meaning of words4 ,we
 train a child in speaking and walking4 
,we teach him the truths which we have  
learned for ourselves4 ,we train  him in
 habits of study1 that he may be able to
 learn other truths  for himself4       
,training and teaching must go on       
together in the wise  upbringing of any 
and every child4 ,the one will fail of  
its own best  end if it be not          
accompanied by the other4 ,he who knows 
how to teach a  child1 is not competent 
for the oversight of a child's education
 unless  he also knows how to train a   
child4    ,training is a possibility    
long before teaching is4 ,before a child
 is  old enough to know what is said to 
it1 it is capable of feeling1 and  of   
conforming to1 or of resisting1 the     

pressure of efforts for its  training4  
,a child can be trained to go to sleep  
in the arms of its  mother or nurse1 or 
in a cradle1 or on a bed2 with rocking1 
or without  it2 in a light room1 or in a
 dark one2 in a noisy room1 or only in a
  quiet one2 to expect nourishment and  
to accept it only at fixed hours1  or at
 its own fancy1--while as yet it cannot 
understand any teaching  concerning the 
importance or the fitness of one of     
these things4 ,a very  young child can  
be trained to cry for what it wants1 or 
to keep quiet1  as a means of securing  
it4 ,and1 as a matter of fact1 the      
training of  children is begun much     
earlier than their teaching4 ,many a    
child is  well started in its           
life-training by the time it is six     
weeks old2 even  though its elementary  
teaching is not attempted until months  
after that4    ,there is a lesson just  
at this point in the signification of   
the ,hebrew  word translated 8train0 in 
our ,english ,bible4 ,it is a noteworthy

 fact1  that this word occurs only twice
 in the ,old ,testament1 and it has no  
equivalent in the ,new4 ,those who were 
brought up in the household of          
,abraham1 8the father of the faithful10 
are said to have been 8trained0  7,gen4 
#ad3 #ad74 ,a proverb of the ages gives 
emphasis to a parent's duty  to 8train  
up0 his child with wise considerateness 
7,prov4 #bb3 #f74 ,and  nowhere else in 
the inspired record does the original of
 this word  8train10 in any of its      
forms1 appear4    ,the ,hebrew word thus
 translated is a peculiar one4 ,its     
etymology shows  that its primary       
meaning is 8to rub the gullet20 and its 
origin seems  to have been in the habit1
 still prevalent among primitive        
peoples1  of opening the throat of a    
new-born babe by the anointing of it    
with  blood1 or with saliva1 or with    
some sacred liquid1 as a means of giving
  the child a start in life by the help 
of another's life4 ,the idea of  the    
,hebrew word thus used seems to be that1

 as this opening of the  gullet of a    
child at its very birth is essential to 
the habituating of  the child to breathe
 and to swallow correctly1 so the right 
training of  a child in all proper      
habits of life is to begin at the       
child's very  birth4 ,and the use of the
 word in the places where we find it1   
would  go to show that ,abraham with all
 his faith1 and ,solomon with all his   
wisdom1 did not feel that it would be   
safe to put off the start with a        
child's training any later than this4   
,child-training properly begins at a    
child's birth1 but it does not  properly
 end there4 ,the first effort in the    
direction of child-training  is to train
 a child to breathe and to swallow2 but 
that ought not to  be the last effort in
 the same direction4 ,child-training    
goes on as  long as a child is a child2 
and child-training covers every phase of
 a  child's action and bearing in life4 
,child-training affects a child's       
sleeping and waking1 his laughing and   

crying1 his eating and drinking1  his   
looks and his movements1 his            
self-control and his conduct toward     
others4 ,child-training does not change 
a child's nature1 but it does  change   
his modes of giving expression to his   
nature4 ,child-training  does not give a
 child entirely new characteristics1 but
 it brings him  to the repression and   
subdual of certain characteristics1 and 
to the  expression and development of   
certain others1 to such an extent that  
the sum of his characteristics presents 
an aspect so different from  its        
original exhibit that it seems like     
another character4 ,and so it  is that  
child-training is1 in a sense1 like the 
very making of a child  anew4           
,child-training includes the directing  
and controlling and shaping of  a       
child's feelings and thoughts and words 
and ways in every sphere of  his        
life-course1 from his birth to the close
 of his childhood4 ,and that  this is no
 unimportant part of a child's          

upbringing1 no intelligent  mind will   
venture to question4          ,,ii4     
,,the ,,duty ,,of ,,training ,,children4
      ,it is the mistake of many parents
 to suppose that their chief duty is  in
 loving and counseling their children1  
rather than in loving and  training     
them2 that they are faithfully to show  
their children what  they ought to do1  
rather than to make them do it4 ,the    
training power of  the parent is1 as a  
rule1 sadly undervalued4    ,too many   
parents seem to take it for granted that
 because their  children are by nature  
very timid and retiring1 or very bold   
and  forward2 very extravagant in speech
 and manner1 or quite disinclined  to   
express even a dutiful sense of         
gratitude and trust2 reckless in  their 
generosity1 or pitiably selfish2        
disposed to overstudy1 or given  wholly 
to play2 one-sided in this1 or in that1 
or in the other1 trait  or quality or   
characteristic1--therefore those        
children must remain  so2 unless1       

indeed1 they outgrow their faults1 or   
are induced by wise  counsel and loving 
entreaty to overcome them4    8,my boy  
is irrepressible10 says one father4 8,he
 is full of dash and  spirits4 ,he makes
 havoc in the house while at home2 and  
when he goes  out to a neighbor's he    
either has things his own way1 or he    
doesn't  want to go there again4 ,i     
really wish he had a quieter nature2    
but1  of course1 ,i can't change him4 ,i
 have given him a great many talks      
about this2 and ,i hope he will outgrow 
the worst of it4 ,still he is  just what
 he is1 and punishing him wouldn't make 
him anybody else40 ,a  good mother1 on  
the other hand1 is exercised because her
 little son  is so bashful that he is   
always mortifying her before strangers4 
,he  will put his finger in his mouth1  
and hang down his head1 and twist  one  
foot over the other1 and refuse to shake
 hands1 or to answer the  visitor's     
8,how do you do1 my boy80 or even to    
say1 8,i thank you10 with  distinctness1

 when anything is given to him4 ,and the
 same trouble is  found with the tastes 
as with the temperaments of children4   
,one is  always ready to hear stories   
read or told1 but will not sit quiet and
  look at pictures1 or use a slate and  
pencil4 ,another1 a little older1  will 
devour books of travel or adventure1 but
 has no patience with  a simple story of
 home life1 or a book of instruction in 
matters of  practical fact4    ,now it  
is quite inevitable that children should
 have these  peculiarities2 but it is   
not inevitable that they should continue
  to exhibit them offensively4 ,children
 can be trained in almost any           
direction4 ,their natural tendencies may
 be so curbed and guided as no  longer  
to show themselves in disagreeable      
prominence4 ,it is a parent's           
privilege1 and it is a parent's duty1 to
 make his children1 by ,god's  blessing1
 to be and to do what they should be and
 do1 rather than what  they would like  
to be and do4 ,if indeed this were not  

so1 a parent's  mission would be sadly  
limited in scope1 and diminished in     
importance  and preciousness4 ,the      
parent who does not recognize the       
possibility of  training his children as
 well as instructing them1 misses one of
 his  highest privileges as a parent1   
and fails of his most important work    
for his children4    ,the skilled       
physician in charge of a certain        
institution for the  treatment of       
feeble-minded and imperfectly developed 
children1 has  said1 that some children 
who are brought to him are lacking in   
just one  important trait or quality1   
while they possess a fair measure of    
every  other4 ,or it may be said1 that  
they have an excess of the trait or     
quality opposite to that which they     
lack4    ,one girl1 for example1 will be
 wholly without a sense of honesty2 will
  even be possessed with a love of      
stealing for stealing's sake1 carrying  
it to such an extent that when seated at
 the table she will snatch a  ball of   

butter from a plate1 and wrap it up in a
 fold of her dress4  ,if she should be  
unchecked in this propensity until she  
were a grown  woman1 she might prove one
 of the fashionable ladies who take     
books or  dry goods from the stores     
where they are shopping1 under the      
influence  of 8kleptomania40    ,again1 
a boy has no sense of truth4 ,he will   
tell lies without any  apparent         
temptation to do so1 even against his   
own obvious interests4  ,all of us have 
seen persons of this sort in mature     
life4 ,some of them  are to-day in      
places of prominence in ,christian work 
and influence4 ,yet  another child is   
without any sense of reverence1 or of   
modesty1 or of  natural affection4 ,one 
lacks all control of his temper1 another
 of his  nerves4 ,and so on in great    
variety4    ,the physician of that      
institution is by no means in despair   
over any of  these cases4 ,it is his    
mission to find out the child's special 
lack1  and to meet it2 to learn what    

traits are in excess1 and to curb them2 
to know the child's needs1 and to train 
him accordingly4    ,every child is in a
 sense a partially developed1 an        
imperfectly formed  child4 ,there are no
 absolutely perfect children in this    
world4 ,all of  them need restraining in
 some things and stimulating in others4 
,and  every imperfect child can be      
helped toward a symmetrical character by
  wise ,christian training4 ,every home 
should be an institution for the        
treatment of imperfectly developed      
children4 ,every father and every       
mother should be a skilled physician in 
charge of such an institution4  ,there  
are glorious possibilities in this      
direction2 and there are  weighty       
responsibilities also4          ,,iii4  
,,scope ,,and ,,limitations ,,of        
,,child-,,training4      ,child-training
 can compass much1 but child-training   
cannot compass  everything1 in          
determining the powers and the          
possibilities of a child  under         

training4 ,each child can be trained in 
the way he should go1  but not every    
child can be trained to go in the same  
way4 ,each child  can be trained to the 
highest and fullest exercise of his     
powers1 but  no child can be trained to 
the exercise of powers which are not    
his4  ,each child can be trained to his 
utmost possibilities1 but not every     
child can be trained to the utmost      
possibilities of every other child4     
,child-training has the fullest scope of
 the capacity of the particular  child  
under treatment1 and child-training is  
limited in every case by  the           
limitations of that child's capacity4   
,a child born blind can be trained to   
such a use of his other senses  that he 
can do more in the world than many a    
poorly trained child  who has sight2 but
 a blind child can never be trained to  
discern  differences in colors at a     
distance4 ,a child who has by nature a  
dull  ear for music can be trained to   
more or less of musical skill2 but a    

child who is born without the sense of  
hearing can never be trained  to        
quickness in the discerning of sounds4  
,a child can be trained to  facility in 
the use of every sense and faculty and  
limb and member  and muscle and nerve   
which he possesses2 but no training will
 give to  a child a new sense1 a new    
faculty1 a new limb1 a new member1 a new
  muscle1 a new nerve4 ,child-training  
can make anything of a child that  can  
be made of that child1 but              
child-training cannot change a child's  
nature and identity4    ,the limitations
 of child-training are more likely to be
 realized than  its extensive scope4    
,indeed1 the supposed limitations of    
child-training  are very often unreal   
ones4 ,many a parent would say1 for     
example1  that you cannot change a      
child's form and features and expression
  by training2 yet1 as a matter of fact1
 a child's form and features  and       
expression can be1 and often are1       
materially changed by training4  ,the   

chest is expanded1 the waist is         
compressed1 a curved spine is           
straightened1 or a deformity of limb is 
corrected1 by persistent  training with 
the help of mechanical appliances4      
,among some primitive  peoples1 the form
 of every child's head is brought to a  
conventional  standard by a process of  
training2 as1 among other primitive     
peoples1  the feet or the ears or the   
eyes or the lips are thus conventionally
  trained into--or out of--shape4 ,and  
in all lands the expression of the  face
 steadily changes under the process of  
persistent training4    ,as it is with  
the physical form1 so it is with the    
mental and moral  characteristics of a  
child2 the range is wide within the     
limitations  of possible results from   
the training process4 ,a nervous        
temperament  cannot1 it is true1 be     
trained into a phlegmatic one1 or a     
phlegmatic  temperament be trained into 
a nervous one2 but a child who is quick 
and  impulsive can be trained into      

moderation and carefulness of speech and
  of action1 while a child who is       
sluggish and inactive can be trained  to
 rapidity of movement and to energy of  
endeavor4 ,an imbecile mind  can never  
be trained into the possibilities of    
native genius1 nor can  a moral nature  
of the lowest order be trained to the   
same measure of  high conscientiousness 
as a nature that is keenly sensitive to 
every  call of duty and to the rights   
and the feelings of others2 but training
  can give unsuspected power to the     
dormant faculties of the dull-minded1   
and can marvelously develop the latent  
moral sense of any child who is  capable
 of discerning between right and wrong  
in conduct4    ,the sure limitations of 
a child's possibilities of training are 
obvious to a parent4 ,if one of the     
physical senses be lacking to the       
child1 no training will restore that    
sense1 although wise training  may      
enable the child to overcome many of the
 difficulties that meet  him as a       

consequence of his native lack4 ,and so1
 also1 if the child  have such          
unmistakable defects of mind and of     
character as prove him  to be inferior  
to the ordinary grade of average        
humanity1 the wisest  training cannot be
 expected to lift him above the ordinary
 level of  average humanity4 ,but if a  
child be in the possession of the normal
  physical senses1 and the normal mental
 faculties1 and the normal moral        
capacities1 of his race1 he may1 by     
,god's blessing1 be trained to the  best
 and fullest use of his powers in these 
several spheres1 in spite  of all the   
hindrances and drawbacks that are found 
in the perversion or  the imperfect     
development of those powers at his start
 in life4    ,in other words1 if the    
child be grievously deformed or         
defective at  birth1 or by some early   
casualty1 there is an inevitable        
limitation  accordingly to the          
possibilities of his training4 ,but if a
 child be  in possession of an ordinary 

measure of faculties and capacity1 his  
training will decide the manner and     
method and extent of the use of his     
,god-given powers4    ,it is1 therefore1
 largely a child's training that settles
 the question  whether a child is       
graceful or awkward in his personal     
movements1  gentle or rough in his ways 
with his fellows1 considerate or        
thoughtless in his bearing toward       
others2 whether he is captious or       
tractable within the bounds of due      
restraint2 whether he is methodical  and
 precise1 or unsystematic and irregular1
 in the discharge of his  daily duties2 
whether he is faithful in his studies1  
or is neglectful  of them2 whether he is
 industrious or indolent in his habits2 
whether  the tastes which he indulges in
 his diet and dress and reading and     
amusements and companionships are       
refined1 or are low4 ,in all these      
things his course indicates what his    
training has been2 or it suggests  the  
training that he needed1 but has missed4

          ,,iv4    ,,discerning ,a      
,,child',s ,,special ,,need ,,of        
,,training4      ,some one has said1    
that a mother is quite right when she   
declares  enthusiastically of her little
 one1 8,there never was such a child as 
this1 in the world1 before60 for in fact
 there never before was such a  child4  
,each child starts in life as if he were
 the only child in the  world1 and the  
first one2 and he is less like other    
people then than  ever he will be again4
 ,he is conformed to no regulation      
pattern at the  outset4 ,he has1 to     
begin with1 no stock of ideas which have
 been passed  on and approved by others4
 ,he neither knows nor cares what other 
people  think4 ,he is a law unto himself
 in all matters of thought and taste and
  feeling4 ,he is1 so far1 himself2 and1
 just so far1 he is different from      
everybody else4    ,left to himself1 if 
that were a possibility1 every child    
would continue  to be himself2 but no   
child is left to himself3 he is under   

training  and in training continually4  
,and so it is that the training of a    
child  is quite as likely to change him 
from his best self to a poorer self1  as
 it is to develop and perfect that which
 is best in his distinctive  self4      
,child-training is1 in many a case1 the 
bringing of a child into  purely        
conventional ways1 instead of bringing  
out into freest play1  in the child1    
those qualities and characteristics     
which mark him as a  unique and         
individual personality among the sons of
 men4 ,how to learn  wherein a child's  
real self needs stimulating1 and wherein
 it needs  curbing or changing1 is a    
question of questions in child-training4
    ,no quality of a good physician is  
of more importance than skill in  making
 a diagnosis of a patient's case4 ,if a 
master-mind in this realm  were to pass 
with positiveness on the disease of     
every patient1 the  treatment of that   
disease would be comparatively easy4 ,a 
young graduate  from the medical school1

 or a trained nurse1 would then1 in most
  instances1 be capable of knowing and  
doing that which was needful in  the    
premises4 ,but until the diagnosis is   
accurate1 the best efforts  of the      
ablest physician are liable to be       
misdirected1 and so to be  ineffective  
for good4 ,as it is with the physician  
and his patient1  so it is with the     
parent and his child4 ,an accurate      
diagnosis is an  essential prerequisite 
to wise and efficient treatment4 ,the   
diagnosis  secured1 the matter of       
treatment is a comparatively easy       
matter4 ,a  parent's diagnosis of his   
child's case is in the discerning of his
  child's faults1 as preliminary to a   
process of training for their  cure4    
,until that is secured1 there is no hope
 of intelligent and  well-directed      
treatment4    ,yet it is not the easiest
 thing in the world to say what are a   
child's  peculiar faults1 and what is1  
therefore1 that child's peculiar need of
  training4 ,many a parent is disturbed 

by a child's best traits1 while  he     
underestimates or overlooks that child's
 chief failings4 ,and many  another     
parent who knows that his child is full 
of faults cannot say  just what they    
are1 or classify them according to their
 relative  prominence and their power   
for evil4 8,that boy's questions will   
worry  my life out4 ,he is always asking
 questions2 and such questions4 ,i      
can't stand it60 ,this is said by many a
 father or mother whose child is  full  
of promise1 largely because he is full  
of questions4    ,but if a boy has a    
bright mind and positive preferences1   
and is ready  to study or to work       
untiringly in the line of his own       
tastes1 and in no  other line1 it does  
not always occur to his parents that    
just here--in  this reluctance to apply 
himself in the line of wise expediency  
rather  than of personal fancy--there is
 a failing which1 if not trained out of 
that boy1 will stand as a barrier to his
 truest manhood1 and will make  him a   

second-rate man when he might be a      
first-rate one2 a one-sided  man instead
 of a well-proportioned man4 ,such a boy
 is quite likely to  be looked upon as  
one who must be permitted to have his   
own way1 since  that way is evidently   
not a bad way1 and he shows unusual     
power in its  direction4 ,so that boy   
may be left untrained in this particular
 until  he is hopelessly past training1 
merely because his chief fault is       
unrecognized by those who could correct 
it1 and who would gladly do so  if they 
saw it in its due proportions4          
,careful study and a wise discrimination
 are needed on a parent's part  to      
ascertain a child's peculiar faults4    
,each parent would do well to  ask      
himself1 or herself1 the questions1     
8,what are the special faults  of my    
child8 ,where is he weakest8 ,in what   
direction is his greatest  strength     
liable to lead him astray1 and when is  
it most likely to fail  him8 ,which of  
his faults is most prominent8 ,which of 

them is of chief  importance for        
immediate correction80 ,such questions  
as these should  be considered at a time
 favorable to deliberate judgment1 when 
there  is least temptation to be        
influenced by personal feeling1 either  
of  preference or dissatisfaction4 ,they
 should be pondered long and well4      
,the unfriendly criticisms of neighbors1
 and the kind suggestions of  friends1  
are not to be despised by a parent in   
making up an estimate  of his child's   
failings and faults4 ,rarely is a parent
 so discerning1  so impartial1 and so   
wise1 that he can know his children     
through and  through1 and be able to    
weigh the several traits1 and perceive  
the  every imperfection and             
exaggeration1 of their characters1 with 
unerring  accuracy and absolute         
fairness4 ,a judge is supposed to be    
disqualified  for an impartial hearing  
of a case in which he has a direct      
personal  interest4 ,a physician will   
not commonly make a diagnosis of his own

  disorders1 lest his fears or hopes    
should bias his judgment4 ,and a  parent
 is as liable as a judge or a physician 
to be swayed unduly by  interest or     
affection1 in an estimate of a case     
which is before him for  a decision4    
,even though1 therefore1 every parent   
must decide for himself concerning  the 
interests and the treatment of his own  
children1 he ought to be  glad to take  
into consideration what others think and
 say of those  children1 while he is    
making up his mind as to his duty in the
  premises4 ,and what is written or said
 on this subject by competent  educators
 is worthy of attention from every      
parent who would train  his children    
understandingly4 ,there is little danger
 that any parent  will give too much    
study to the question of his child's    
specific needs1  or have too many helps 
to a wise conclusion on that point4     
,there is  a great deal of danger that  
the whole subject will be neglected or  
undervalued by a parent4    ,if a parent

 were explicitly to ask the question of 
a fair and  plain-speaking friend1      
familiar with that parent's children1   
and  competent to judge them1 ,what do  
you think is the chief fault--or the    
most objectionable characteristic--of my
 son--or daughter8 the frank  answer to 
that question would in very many cases  
be an utter surprise  to the parent1 the
 fault or characteristic named not      
having been  suspected by the parent4 ,a
 child may be so much like the parent   
just  here1 that the parent's blindness 
to his or her own chief fault or lack   
may forbid the seeing of the child's    
similar deformity4 ,or1 again1  that    
child may be so totally unlike the      
parent1 that the parent will  be unable 
to appreciate1 or even to apprehend1    
that peculiarity of  the child which is 
apparent to every outside intelligent   
observer4  ,a child's reticence from    
deep feeling has often been counted by  
an  over-demonstrative parent as a sign 
of want of sensitiveness2 and so  vice  

versa4    ,parents need help from       
others1 from personal friends whom they 
can  trust to speak with impartiality   
and kindness1 or from the teachers of   
their children1 in the gaining of a     
proper estimate and understanding  of   
their children's characteristics and    
needs4 ,the parent who does  not realize
 this truth1 and act on it1 will never  
do as well as might  be done for his or 
her child4 ,god has given the           
responsibility of the  training of that 
child to the parent2 but he has also    
laid on that  parent the duty of        
learning1 by the aid of all proper      
means1 what are  that child's           
requirements1 and how to meet them4     
,v4    ,,will-,,training1 ,,rather      
,,than ,,will-,,breaking4      ,the     
measure of will-power is the measure of 
personal power1 with a  child as with an
 adult4 ,the possession or the lack of  
will-power is  the possession or the    
lack of personal power1 in every        
individual's  sphere of life and being4 

,the right or the wrong use of          
will-power is  the right or the wrong   
exercise of an individual's truest      
personality4  ,hence the careful        
guarding and the wise guiding of a      
child's will  should be counted among   
the foremost duties of one who is       
responsible  for a child's training4    
,will-training is an important element  
in child-training2 but  will-breaking   
has no part or place in the training of 
a child4 ,a broken  will is worth as    
much in its sphere as a broken bow2 just
 that1 and  no more4 ,a child with a    
broken will is not so well furnished for
 the  struggle of life as a child with  
only one arm1 or one leg1 or one eye4   
,such a child has no power of strong    
personality1 or of high achievement  in 
the world4 ,every child ought to be     
trained to conform his will to  the     
demands of duty2 but that is bending his
 will1 not breaking it4  ,breaking a    
child's will is never in order4    ,the 
term 8will0 as here employed applies to 

the child's faculty of  choosing or     
deciding between two courses of action4 
,breaking a child's  will is bringing   
the pressure of external force directly 
upon that  will1 and causing the will to
 give way under the pressure of that    
force4 ,training a child's will is      
bringing such influences to bear upon   
the child that he is ready to choose or 
decide in favor of the right  course of 
action4    ,to break a child's will is  
to crush out for the time being1 and so 
far  to destroy1 the child's privilege  
of free choice2 it is to force him  to  
an action against his choice1 instead of
 inducing him to choose in  the right   
direction4 ,a child's will is his truest
 personality2 the  expression of his    
will in a free choice is the highest    
expression of  his personality4 ,and a  
child's personality is to be held sacred
 by  ,god's representative who is over  
the child1 even as ,god himself holds   
sacred the personality of every human   
being created in the image of ,god4     

,god never says unqualifiedly to a human
 being1 8,you shall not exercise  your  
faculty of choice between the way of    
life and the way of death2  you shall   
walk in the way which ,i know to be best
 for you40 ,but1 on the  contrary1 ,god 
says to every one 7,deut4 #cj3 #ae73    
8,see1 ,i have set before  thee this day
 life and good1 and death and           
evil10--for thy choice4  ,here1 as      
everywhere1 ,god concedes to man the    
privilege of exercising  his will-power 
in the direction of life and good1 or of
 death and  evil4 ,the strictest        
,calvinist and the broadest ,arminian   
are at one in  their opinion so far4    
,whatever emphasis is laid1 in their    
philosophy1  on ,god's influencing or   
enabling the human will to its final    
choice1  neither of them disputes the   
fact that man is actually permitted to  
use  that will in the direction of his  
choice4 8,it is ,god that worketh in    
man to will and to work for ,his good   
pleasure40 ,it is not that ,god  worketh

 above man to crush out man's faculty of
 willing whether to act  for or against 
,his good pleasure4 ,in other words1    
,god has fore-ordained  that every man  
shall have the freedom of his will--and 
take the  consequences4    ,it is true  
that ,god holds out before man1 as an   
inducement to him in  his choosing1 the 
inevitable results of his choice4 ,if he
 chooses good1  life comes with it4 ,if 
he chooses evil1 death is its           
accompaniment4 ,the  rewards and the    
punishments are declared in advance2 but
 after all1 and  in spite of all1 the   
choice is man's own4 ,and every soul    
shall have  eternally the destiny of its
 own choosing4 ,the representative of   
,god  clothed with power1 as he stood   
before the people of ,israel1 did not   
say1 8,you shall choose ,god's service  
now2 and if you deliberately  refuse to 
do so1 ,god will break your will so that
 you do do it20 but he  said1 8,if it   
seem evil unto you to serve the ,lord1  
choose you this day  whom ye will serve0

 7,josh4 #bd3 #ae74    ,as ,god1 our    
wise and loving ,father in heaven1 deals
 with us his  children1 so we1 as       
earthly fathers1 should deal with our   
children4 ,we  should guard sacredly    
their privilege of personal choice2 and 
while  using every proper means to      
induce them to choose aright1 we should 
never1 never1 never force their choice1 
even into the direction of our          
intelligent preference for them4 ,the   
final responsibility of a choice  and of
 its consequences rests with the child1 
and not with the parent4    ,a child's  
will ought to be strong for right-doing4
 ,if it be not so at  the start1 it is  
the parent's duty to guide1 or train1 it
 accordingly4  ,but to break1 or crush1 
a child's will1 is inconsistent with the
  educating and training of that will4  
,a conflict between a parent and a      
child1 where the only question is1      
,whose will shall yield to the other8   
is1 after all1 neither more nor less    
than a conflict of brute force4         

,whether1 in any instance1 the will of  
the parent be set on having his  child  
commit some repulsive crime against     
which the child's moral  nature recoils1
 or whether the will of the parent be   
set on the  child's reciting a ,bible   
text or saying a prayer1 the mere       
conflict of  wills as a conflict of     
wills is a conflict of brute force2 and 
in such  a conflict neither party ought 
to succeed1--for success in any such    
case  is always a failure4 ,if the      
parent really wills that the child shall
 do  right1 the parent's endeavor should
 be to have the child will in the  same 
direction4 ,merely to force one will    
into subjection to the other  is1       
however1 an injury both to the one who  
forces and to the one who  submits4     
,a hypothetical illustration may make   
this matter clearer4 ,a father says  to 
his strong-willed child3 8,johnny1 shut 
that door40 ,johnny says1 8,i  won't40  
,the father says1 8,you shall40 ,johnny 
rejoins1 8,i won't40 ,an  issue is here 

made between two wills--the father's and
 the son's4 ,many  a parent would       
suppose that in such a case the child's 
will ought to  be broken1 subjugated1   
forced1 if need be1 under the pressure  
of the  father's will2 and the more     
conscientious the parent1 the firmer is 
likely to be his conviction of duty     
accordingly4    ,it is at such a point  
as this that the evil of breaking a     
child's will1  instead of training it1  
finds its foothold in many a ,christian 
home4  ,the father is determined not to 
yield his will to his child's will4 ,the
  child is determined not to yield his  
will to his father's will4 ,it is  the  
old conflict between 8an irresistible   
force and an immovable body40  ,in such 
a case1 brute force may compel the child
 to do that which he  chooses not to do1
 just as the rack and thumb-screws of   
the ,inquisition  could compel the      
tortured one to deny a belief which he  
chooses to  adhere to2 but in the one   
case1 as in the other1 the victim of the

  torturing pressure is permanently     
harmed1 while the cause of truth and    
right has been in no sense the gainer by
 the triumph4 ,oh1 what if ,god  should 
treat his children in that way6         
,what1 then1 it may be asked1 should be 
done with such a child in an  issue like
 this8 ,it certainly would have been    
better1 it would have  been far better1 
for the parent not to make a direct     
issue by following  the child's first   
refusal with the unqualified            
declaration1 8,you  shall40 ,but with   
the issue once made1 however            
unfortunately1 then what8  ,let the     
parent turn to the child in loving      
gentleness1--not then in  severity1 and 
never1 never1 never in anger1--and tell 
him tenderly of  a better way than that 
which he is pursuing1 urging him to a   
wiser1  nobler choice4 ,in most cases   
the very absence of any show of angry   
conflict on the father's part will      
prompt the child to choose to do  that  
which he said he would not do4 ,but if  

worst comes to worst 7for  we are here  
taking the extremest supposable issue1  
which ought indeed  rarely1 if ever1 to 
occur71 let the parent say to the child3
 8,johnny1 ,i  shall have to give you   
your choice in this matter4 ,you can    
either shut  that door or take a        
whipping40 ,then a new choice is before 
the boy1 and  his will is free and      
unbroken for its meeting4    ,be it     
understood1 the father has no right to  
say1 8,i will whip you  until you shut  
that door20 for that would be to deprive
 the boy of  a choice1 to deprive the   
boy of his will-power in the direction  
of  his action3 and that no parent is   
ever justified in doing4 ,if the boy    
chooses to be whipped rather than to    
obey1 the father must accept the  result
 so far1 and begin again for the next   
time2 although1 of course1  there must  
be no undue severity in a child's       
punishment2 even the  civil law forbids 
that4 ,the father as a father is not    
entitled to have  his will stand in the 

place of his child's will2 even though  
he is  privileged to strive to bring the
 child to will in the same direction    
that the father's will trends4    ,all  
the way along through his training-life1
 a child ought to know  what are to be  
the legitimate consequences of his      
chosen action1 in  every case1 and then 
be privileged to choose accordingly4    
,there is  a place for punishment in a  
child's training1 but punishment is a   
penalty attached to a choice2 it is not 
brute force applied to compel  action   
against choice4 ,no child ought ever to 
be punished1 unless he  understood1 when
 he chose to do the wrong in question1  
that he was  thereby incurring the      
penalty of that punishment4    ,in most 
cases it is better1 as has been said1   
for a parent to avoid  a direct issue   
with a child1 than to seek1 or even than
 to recognize  and meet1 an issue4 ,and 
in the endeavor to train a child's will1
 there  is often a gain in giving the   
child an alternative consequence of     

obedience or disobedience4 ,that is     
,god's way of holding out rewards  and  
punishments4 ,for example1 a wise young 
mother was just giving her  little boy a
 bit of candy which was peculiarly      
prized by him1 when1  in speaking to a  
lady visitor he called her by the       
familiar term used  by older members of 
the family in addressing her4 ,the      
mother reminded  him of the manner in   
which he should speak to the lady4 ,he  
refused to  conform to this4 8,then ,i  
cannot let you have this candy10 said   
the  mother4 8,all right10 was the      
wilful reply4 8,i'd rather go without   
the  candy than call her what you tell  
me to40 ,the mother turned quietly      
away1 taking the candy with her4 ,an    
hour later that child came to his       
mother1 saying1 8,mamma1 perhaps you can
 give me that candy now2 for  ,i will   
always call that lady just what you tell
 me to40 ,a few added  words from the   
mother at that juncture settled that    
point for all time4  ,thenceforward the 

child did as he had thus been led to    
will to do4 ,his  will had not been     
broken1 but it had been newly directed  
by judicious  training4    ,but1 it may 
be asked1 if a child be told by his     
mother to leave the  room1 at a time    
when it is peculiarly important that he 
should not  remain there1 and he says   
that he will not go1 what shall be done 
with  him8 ,shall he be permitted to    
have his own way1 against his own true  
welfare8 ,if the chief point be to get  
him out of the room1 and there  is no   
time just then for his training1 the    
child can be carried out by  main       
strength4 ,but that neither breaks nor  
trains the child's will4 ,it  is not a  
triumph of will1 but of muscle4 ,the    
child1 in such a case1  leaves the room 
against his will1 and in spite of it4   
,his will has  simply been ignored1 not 
broken4 ,and there are times when a     
child's  bodily removal from one place  
to another is more important for the    
time being than is1 just then1 the      

child's will-training4 ,such would  be  
the case if the house were on fire1 or  
if the child were taken  suddenly ill4  
,but that is apart from the question of 
will-training or  will-breaking4 ,the   
distinction here noted ought not to be  
lost sight of  in considering this      
question4    ,if1 however1 in the case  
above cited1 the purpose of the mother  
be to  meet the issue which is there    
raised1 and to have it settled once for 
all whose will shall triumph1 right or  
wrong1 the mother can bring the         
pressure of brute force to bear on the  
child's will1 in order to its  final    
breaking4 ,under that pressure1 the     
child's life may go out before  his will
 is broken4 ,in many an instance of that
 sort1 this has been the  result4 ,or1  
again1 the child's will may then be     
broken4 ,if it be so1  the child is     
harmed for life2 and so is his mother4  
,the one has come  into a slavish       
submission to the conscientiously       
tyrannical demands of  the other4 ,both 

have obtained wrong conceptions of      
parental authority1  wrong conceptions  
of filial obedience1 and wrong          
conceptions of the  plan and methods of 
the ,divine-,paternal government4 ,but  
if1 on the  other hand1 now be the time 
for teaching a child to use his own will
  aright1 at the summons of one who is  
older and wiser than himself1 and  who  
is over him in the plan of ,god for his 
guidance and training1 there  is a      
better way than either the forcing a    
child out of the room against  his will1
 or the breaking of his will so that    
that will is powerless to  prompt him to
 stay or to go4    ,the course to be    
pursued in this case is that already    
suggested in  the case of the child     
whose father told him to shut the door4 
,let the  mother give herself1 at once1 
to firm and gentle endeavors to bring   
that child to use his own will1 freely  
and gladly1 in the direction of  her    
commands to him4 ,if necessary1 let     
there be no more of sleeping or  eating 

in that home until that child1 under the
 forceful pressure of  wise counsel and 
of affectionate entreaty1 has willed to 
do that which  he ought to do1--has     
willed to be an obedient child4 ,here1  
again1 is the  difference between the   
wise training of the will1 and the      
always unwise  and unjustifiable        
breaking of the will4    ,even in the   
matter of dealing with the lower        
animals1 it has been  found that the old
 idea of 8breaking0 the will as a       
substitute for1  or as a necessary      
precedent of1 the 8training0 the will1  
is an  erroneous one2 and the remarkable
 power of such horse-trainers as  ,rarey
 and ,gleason grows out of the fact that
 they are trainers1 and  not breakers1  
of horses4 ,a standard work on ,dog     
,training1 by ,s4 ,t4  ,hammond1 is     
based on the idea1 indicated in one of  
its titles1 of  8,training versus       
,breaking40 ,it might seem1 indeed1 that
 the counsel  of this latter writer1    
concerning the wise treatment of a young

 dog  taken newly in hand for his       
training1 were given to a parent        
concerning  the wise treatment of a     
young child when first taken in hand for
 this  purpose4    8,do not fail to     
abundantly caress him and speak kindly  
words10 he says2  8and never under any  
circumstances1 no matter what the       
provocation1  allow yourself to scold1  
or in this early stage strike him1 as   
this  is entirely at variance with our  
system1 and is sure to result in  the   
defeat of our plans4444 ,be very gentle 
with him at all times4  ,carefully study
 his disposition1 and learn all of his  
ways1 that you  may the more readily    
understand just how to manage him4 ,you 
should be  in perfect sympathy with him1
 and humor all his whims and notions1   
and  endeavor to teach him that you     
truly love him4 ,in a short time you    
will find that this love will be        
returned tenfold1 and that he is ever   
anxiously watching for your coming1 and 
never so happy as when in your  presence

 and enjoying your caresses40 ,this1 be 
it borne in mind1 is in  a line of work 
that seeks to bring the entire will of  
the trained in  loving subjection to the
 will of the trainer4 ,and that which is
 none  too high a standard for a young  
dog ought not to be deemed too high for 
attainment by a rational child4         
,surely that which is found to be the   
best way for a trainer of dogs on  the  
one hand1 and which1 on the other hand1 
is ,god's way with all his  children1   
may fairly be recognized as both        
practicable and best for a  human       
parent's dealing with his intelligent   
little ones4 ,and all this  is written  
by one who in well-nigh forty years of  
parental life has  tried more than one  
way in child-training1 and who long ago 
learned  by experience as well as by    
study that ,god's way in this thing is  
unmistakably the best way4              
,,vi4    ,,the ,,place ,,of 8,,must0    
,,in ,,training4      ,with all the     
modern improvements in methods of       

dealing with  children1--and these      
improvements are many and great1--it is 
important to  bear in mind that         
judicious discipline has an important   
part in the  wise training of the young4
 ,discipline is not everything in the   
sphere  of child-training2 but          
discipline is much1 in that sphere4     
,discipline  is an important factor in  
will-training2 and will-training is an  
important factor in wise child-training1
 although will-breaking is not4         
,formerly1 discipline was the great     
feature1 if not1 indeed1 the only       
feature1 in the training of children4   
,there was a time when children  were   
not allowed to sit in the presence of   
their parents1 or to speak  to them     
unless they were first spoken to1 or to 
have a place with  their parents at the 
home table or in the church pew2 when   
the approved  mode of teaching was a    
primitive and very simple one4 8,they   
told a  child to learn2 and if he did   
not1 they beat him40 ,the school-days   

of children were then spoken of as 8when
 they were under the rod40  ,even the   
occasional celebration of a holy day did
 not bring unalloyed  delight to the    
little ones2 as1 for instance1 8on      
,innocents' ,day1 an  old custom of our 
ancestors was to flog the poor children 
in their  beds1 not as a punishment1 but
 to impress on their minds the murder of
  the innocents40    ,but all this is in
 the long past4 ,for a century or more  
the progress of  interest in and        
attention to the children has been      
steady and rapid4  ,and now the best    
talent of the world is laid under       
contribution for  the little ones4 ,in  
the provisions of song and story and    
pictures and  toys and games1 as well as
 in school buildings and school         
appliances  and school methods1 the     
place of the children is foremost4 ,at  
home they  certainly do not hesitate to 
sit down when and where they please1 or 
to speak without waiting to be spoken   
to4 ,indeed1 there are parents  who     

wonder if they will ever get a chance to
 sit down while their  children are in  
the house2 or if ever those children    
will stop asking  questions4 ,meanwhile 
in secular schools and in               
,sunday-schools the aim  seems to be to 
make learning as attractive as possible 
to children1 and  to relieve study1 as  
far as may be1 of all tediousness and   
discomfort4    ,now1 that this state of 
things is1 on the whole1 a decided      
improvement  over that which it         
displaced1 there is no room for fair    
doubt4 ,yet  there is always a danger of
 losing sight of one important truth in 
the effort to give new and due          
prominence to another4 ,hence attention 
should be given to the value of         
judicious discipline in the training  of
 children4 ,children need to learn how  
to do things which they do  not want to 
do1 when those things ought to be done4 
,older people have  to do a great many  
things from a sense of duty4 ,unless    
children are  trained to recognize duty 

as more binding than inclination1 they  
will  suffer all their lives through    
from their lack of discipline in this   
direction4    ,children ought to be     
trained to get up in the morning at a   
proper hour1  for some other reason than
 that this is to be 8the maddest1       
merriest  day in all the glad new year40
 ,they ought to learn to go to bed at a 
fitting time1 whether they are sleepy or
 not4 ,their hours of eating1  and the  
quality and quantity of their food1     
ought to be regulated  by some other    
standard than their inclinations4 ,in   
their daily life  there must be a place 
for tasks as tasks1 for times of study  
under the  pressure of stern duty1 in   
the effort to train them to do their    
right  work properly4 ,it is not enough 
to have children learn only lessons     
which they enjoy1 and this at times and 
by methods which are peculiarly         
pleasing to them4 ,president ,porter1 of
 ,yale1 said1 in substance1 that  the   
chief advantage of the college          

curriculum is1 that it trains a  young  
man to do what he ought to do1 when he  
ought to do it1 whether he  wants to do 
it or not4 ,any course of training for a
 young person that  fails to accomplish 
thus much1 is part of a sadly imperfect 
system4    ,there are few1 if any1      
children who do not need to be trained  
to  apply themselves earnestly to       
occupations which they dislike4 ,the    
tastes of some children are very good1  
and of others very poor2 but  nearly all
 children have positive inclinations in 
one direction or  in another4 ,they like
 playing better than working or reading2
 or  they prefer reading or working to  
playing4 ,some prefer to remain         
indoors2 others prefer to be outside4   
,some want to occupy themselves  always 
in mechanical pursuits2 others would    
always be at games of one  sort or      
another4 ,some enjoy being with         
companions2 others prefer to  be by     
themselves2 yet others would attach     
themselves to one or two  persons only1 

having little care for the society of   
anybody else4 ,in  their studies1       
children show1 perhaps very early1 a    
decided fancy  for geography1 or history
 or mathematics1 or the languages1 and a
  pronounced distaste for other branches
 of learning4 ,now1 whether a  child's  
tastes are elevated or unrefined1 in the
 direction of better  or more           
undesirable pursuits1 he ought not to be
 permitted to follow  always his own    
fancies1 or to do only that which he    
really likes to do4    ,the parent or   
the teacher must decide what pursuit of 
activity1 or what  branch of study1 is  
best for each several child1 and must   
train him to  it accordingly4 ,in making
 this decision1 it is important to      
consider  fully the tastes and          
peculiarities of the particular child   
under  training2 but the decision itself
 must rest with the guardian rather     
than with the child4 ,whatever place    
8elective0 studies may properly  have in
 a university curriculum1 there is need 

of positive limitations  to the elective
 system of duties in the nursery and in 
the home sphere  generally4    ,hardly  
anything can be more important in the   
mental training of a  child than the    
bringing him to do what he ought to do1 
and to do it in  its proper time1       
whether he enjoys doing it or not4 ,the 
measure of a  child's ability to do this
 becomes in the long run1 the measure of
 his  practical efficiency in whatever  
sphere of life he labors4 ,no man can   
work always merely in the line of his   
personal preferences4 ,he must do  many 
things which are distasteful to him4    
,unless he was trained as a  child to do
 such things persistently1 he cannot do 
them to advantage  when they are upon   
him as a necessity4 ,nor can any man do 
his best work  as well as he ought to1  
if he works always and only in one line4
 ,a  one-sided man is not a             
well-balanced man1 even though his one  
side be  the right side4 ,it is better  
to use the dextral hand than the        

sinister1  but it is certainly          
preferable to be ambidextrous4    ,there
 is little danger that intelligent      
,christian parents or teachers  will at 
this day refuse to consider duly a      
child's tastes and  peculiarities1 in   
their efforts to instruct and train him4
 ,while1  however1 they are making study
 attractive and life enjoyable to a     
child1 parents should see to it that the
 child learns to keep quiet  at         
specified times1 and to be active at    
other times2 that he studies  assigned  
lessons1 does set tasks1 denies himself 
craved indulgences2  that he goes and   
comes1 that he stands or moves1 at      
designated  hours1--not because he wants
 to do these things1 but because he     
must4  ,now1 as of old1 8it is good for 
a man that he bear the yoke in his      
youth40          ,,vii4    ,,denying ,a 
,,child ,,wisely4      ,one of the      
hardest and one of the most important   
things in the training  of a loved child
 is to deny him that which he longs for1

 and which  we could give to him1 but   
which he would better not have4 ,it is  
very  pleasant to gratify a child4      
,there is real enjoyment in giving to   
him  what he asks for1 when we can do it
 prudently4 ,but wise withholding is    
quite as important as generous giving in
 the proper care of a child4    ,next to
 denying a child necessary food and     
raiment1 for the sustenance  of very    
life1 the unkindest treatment of a child
 is to give him  everything that he asks
 for4 ,every parent recognizes this     
truth within  certain limits1 and       
therefore refuses an unsheathed knife1  
or a  percussion cartridge1 or a cup of 
poison1 to a child who cries for it4    
,but the breadth and the full           
significance of the principle involved  
are not so generally accepted as they   
should be4    ,a child ought to be      
denied1 by his parents1 many things     
which in  themselves are harmless4 ,it  
is an injury to any child to have always
  at the table the dishes which he likes

 best2 to have uniformly the cut  or the
 portion which he prefers2 to have every
 plaything which his  parents can afford
 to give him2 to dress--even within     
their means--just  as he wants to2 and  
to go1 with them1 where and when he     
pleases4 ,that  child who has never a   
legitimate desire ungratified is poorly 
fitted  for the duties and the trials of
 every-day life in the world4 ,he does  
not1 indeed1 enjoy himself now as he    
might hope to through a different       
training4 ,it is sadly to a parent's    
discredit when a child can truly  say1  
8,my father1 or my mother1 never denied 
me any pleasure which it  was fairly in 
his1 or her1 power to bestow40    ,it is
 because of the evil results of not     
wisely denying the little  ones1 that an
 only child is in so many instances     
spoken of as a  spoiled child4 ,there is
 but one to give to in that household4  
,he can  have just so much more1 than if
 there were half a dozen children to    
share it2 and1 as a rule1 he gets it    

all4 ,parents give to him freely2  so do
 grandparents1 and so do uncles and     
aunts4 ,he hardly knows what            
self-denial or want is4 ,his very       
fullness palls upon him4 ,it is not     
easy to surprise him with an unexpected 
pleasure4 ,he not only is  liable to    
grow selfish and exacting1 but at the   
best he lacks all the  enjoyment which  
comes of the occasional gratification of
 a desire which  has been long felt     
without the expectation of its being    
speedily met4    ,but it is by no means 
necessary that an only child should be  
spoiled  in training4 ,some of the best 
trained children in the world have been 
only children4 ,many a parent is more   
faithful and discreet in securing  to   
his or her only child the benefits of   
self-denial than is many  another with  
half a dozen children to care for4 ,but 
whether there be  one child or more in  
the family1 the lesson of wise denial is
 alike  important to the young1 and the 
responsibility of its teaching should   

be recognized by the parent4    ,few    
grown persons can have everything they  
want1 everything that  love can give1   
everything that money can buy4 ,most of 
them have many  reasonable wishes       
ungratified1 many moderate desires      
unfilled4 ,they  have to get along      
without a great many things which others
 have1  and which they would like4 ,it  
is probable that their children will  be
 called to similar experiences when they
 must finally shift for  themselves4    
,their children ought1 therefore1 to be 
in training for  this experience now4   
,it is largely the early education which
 gives one  proper control over himself 
and his desires4 ,if in childhood one is
  taught to deny himself1 to yield      
gracefully much that he longs for1 to   
enjoy the little that he can have in    
spite of the lack of a great deal  which
 he would like to have1 his lot will be 
an easier and a happier  one1 when he   
comes to the realities of maturer life1 
than would be  possible to him if1 as a 

child1 he had only to express a         
reasonable  wish1 to have it promptly   
gratified4    ,for this reason it is    
that men who were the children of the   
rich are  so often at a disadvantage1 in
 the battle of life1 in comparison with 
those who have risen from comparative   
poverty4 ,their parents' wealth1  so    
freely at their disposal1 increased the 
number of wants which  they now think   
must be gratified2 and their pampering  
in childhood  so enervated them for the 
struggles and endurances which are1 at  
the  best1 a necessity in ordinary      
business pursuits1 that they are easily 
distanced by those who were in youth    
disciplined through enforced            
self-denial1 and made strong by enduring
 hardness1 and by finding  contentment  
with a little4 ,it is a great pity that 
the full and  free gifts of a loving    
parent should prove a hindrance to a    
child's  happiness1 a barrier to his    
success in life2 that the very abundance
 of  the parent's giving should tend to 

the child's poverty and unhappiness6    
,yet this state of things is in too many
 instances an undeniable fact4          
,children of the present day--especially
 children of parents in  comfortable    
worldly circumstances--are far more     
likely than were their  fathers and     
mothers to lack lessons of self-denial4 
,the standard of  living is very        
different now from a generation since4  
,there were few  parents in any         
community in this country fifty years   
ago who could buy  whatever they wanted 
for their children2 or1 indeed1 for     
themselves4  ,there was no such freeness
 of purchases for children1 for the     
table1  for the house or the household1 
as is now common on every side4         
,children then did not expect a new suit
 of clothes every few months4  ,often   
they had old ones made over for them1   
from those of their parents  or of their
 elder brothers and sisters4 ,a present 
from the toy-shop  or bookstore was a   
rarity in those days4 ,there was not    

much choosing  by children what they    
would eat as they sat down at the family
 table4  ,there was still less of       
planning by them for a summer journey   
with  their parents to a mountain or    
seaside resort4 ,self-denial1 or more or
  less of personal privation1 came as a 
necessity to almost every child  in the 
younger days of many who are now on the 
stage of active life4  ,but how         
different now6    ,the average child of 
the present generation receives more    
presents and  more indulgences from his 
parents in any one year of his life than
 the  average child of a generation ago 
received in all the years of his        
childhood4 ,because of this new         
standard1 the child of to-day expects   
new things1 as a matter of course2 he   
asks for them1 in the belief  that he   
will receive them4 ,in consequence of   
their abundance1 he sets  a smaller     
value upon them severally4 ,it is not   
possible that he should  think as highly
 of any one new thing1 out of a hundred 

coming to him in  rapid succession1 as  
he would of the only gift of an entire  
year4    ,a boy of nowadays can hardly  
prize his new bicycle1 or his           
8double-ripper0 sled1 after all the     
other presents he has received1 as  his 
father prized a little wagon made of a  
raisin-box1 with wheels of              
ribbon-blocks1 which was his only       
treasure in the line of locomotion4  ,a 
little girl cannot have as profound     
enjoyment in her third wax doll  of the 
year1 with eyes which open and shut1 as 
her mother had with  her one clumsy doll
 of stuffed rags or of painted wood4 ,a 
new child's  book was a wonder a        
generation since2 it is now hardly more 
to one of  our children than the evening
 paper is to the father of the family4  
,it  is now hard work to give a new     
sensation--or1 at all events1 to make  a
 permanent impression--by the bestowal  
of a gift of any sort on a  child4 ,it  
would be far easier to surprise and to  
impress many a child  by refusing to    

give to him what he asked for and       
expected2 and that  treatment would in  
some cases be greatly to a child's      
advantage4    ,a distinctive feature of 
the child-training of the ancient       
,spartans  was the rigid discipline of  
constant self-denial1 to which the child
  was subjected from infancy onward4    
,and this feature of child-training     
among that people had much to do with   
giving to the ,spartans their           
distinguishing characteristics of       
simplicity of manners1 of powers  of    
endurance1 and of dauntless bravery4    
,the best primitive peoples  everywhere 
have recognized the pre-eminent         
importance of this feature  of          
child-training4 ,its neglect has come   
only with the growth in luxury  among   
peoples of the highest material         
civilization4 ,the question is an       
important one1 whether it is well to    
lose all the advantages of this  method 
of training1 simply because it is not   
found to be a necessity as  a means of  

sustaining physical life1 where wealth  
abounds so freely4    ,it is not that a 
child is to be denied what he wants1    
merely for the  sake of the denial      
itself2 but it is that a child ought not
 to have  what he wants merely because  
he wants it4 ,it is not that there is a 
necessary gain in a denial to a child2  
but it is that when a denial to  a child
 is necessary1 there is an added gain to
 him through his finding  that he must  
do without what he longs for4 ,it is    
every parent's duty to  deny a child    
many things which he wants2 to teach him
 that he must get  along without a great
 many things which seem very desirable2 
to train  him to self-denial and        
endurance1 at the table1 in the         
play-room2  with companions1 and away   
from them3 and the doing of this duty by
 the  parent brings a sure advantage to 
the child4 ,whatever else he has1 a     
child ought not to lack this element of 
a wise training4          ,,viii4       
,,honoring ,a ,,child',s                

,,individuality4      ,a child is liable
 to be looked upon as if he were simply 
one child  among many children1 a       
specimen representative of childhood    
generally2  but every child stands all  
by himself in the world as an           
individual1  with his own personality   
and character1 with his own thoughts and
  feelings1 his own hopes and fears and 
possibilities1 his own relations  to his
 fellow-beings and to ,god4 ,this truth 
is often realized by a  child before his
 parents realize it2 and if it be       
unperceived and  unrecognized by his    
parents1 they are thereby shut off from 
the  opportunity of doing for him much  
that can be done by them only as they   
give due honor to their child's         
individuality as a child4    ,a little  
babe is not a mere bit of               
child-material1 to be worked up by      
outside efforts and influences into a   
child-reality2 but he is already  a     
living organism1 with all the           
possibilities of his highest manhood    

working within him toward their         
independent development4 ,here is the   
difference1 on a lower plane1 between a 
mass of clay being molded by  the       
sculptor's hands into a statue of grace 
and beauty1 and a seed of  herb or tree 
containing within itself the germ of a  
new and peculiar  individual specimen of
 its own unchanging species4 ,an acorn  
is more  than the fruit of the oak that 
bore it2 it is the germ of another oak1 
like1 and yet unlike1 all the oaks that 
the world has known before the  growth  
of this one4 ,so1 also1 a child is more 
than the mere child of  his earthly     
parents2 he is1 in embryo1 a man with   
characteristics and  qualities such as  
his parents could never attain to1 and  
which1 it may  be1 the world has never  
before seen equaled4    ,the            
possibilities of ,moses1 who was to put 
his impress upon the world's  character1
 were in the ,hebrew babe1 as his loving
 mother laid him  tenderly in the       
pitch-daubed basket of papyrus1 to hide 

him away among  the flags of the        
,nile-border1 as they were not in any   
native babe of  the household of        
,pharaoh2 and if his mother had any     
intuitive womanly  sense of his grand   
future in the providence of ,god1 her   
zeal and faith  in his behalf were      
quickened and inspired accordingly4 ,and
 so it has  been all along the ages2 the
 germs of power and achievement were    
already in the babe1 who was afterward  
known as ,plato1 or ,csar1 or           
,muhammad1 or ,charlemagne1 or          
,columbus1 or ,shakespeare1 or          
,washington4  ,and who will doubt that  
many a germ of such possibility in a    
young  child has been quickened or      
repressed1 according as that child's    
parents have perceived and honored1 or  
have failed to realize and to  foster1  
the best that was involved in the       
child's individuality8    ,it was to the
 credit of the high-priest ,eli1 that he
 perceived that the  child ,samuel was  
capable of receiving communications from

 the ,lord1  such as were denied to the 
possessor of ,urim and ,thummim2 and    
that he  honored the child's            
individuality so far as to encourage him
 to declare  the message that ,god had  
sent by him2 instead of treating the    
child  as one who could receive nothing 
from ,god1 save as it came to him       
through the medium of his guardians and 
seniors4 ,this spirit it was  that      
prompted ,trebonius to bare his head as 
he entered the school-room  where he was
 looked up to as the teacher2 because1  
as he suggested1  he recognized in every
 child before him there the possibility 
of  lofty attainment in his developed   
individuality4 ,and it can hardly be    
doubted that this attitude of the       
teacher ,trebonius had its measure of   
influence in bringing to its fruition   
the germinal power in his pupil  ,martin
 ,luther4 ,trebonius and ,eli are--so   
far1 at least--a pattern to the  parents
 of to-day4    ,it is not merely that   
the child is to be the possessor of a   

marked  and distinctive individuality1  
and that therefore he is to be honored  
for his possibilities in that direction2
 but it is that he already  is the      
possessor of such an individuality1 and 
that he is worthy of  honor for that    
which he has and is at the present time4
 ,many a child1  while a child1 is the  
superior of his parents in the basis and
 scope  of character1 in the attributes 
of genius1 and in the instincts of high 
spiritual perception4 ,this is the true 
order of things in the progress  of     
,god's plans for the race2 the better is
 in the coming generations1  not in the 
past4 ,but even where the child is not  
the superior1 he is  always the peer in 
individuality of those to whom he looks 
up with  honoring reverence as his      
parents1 and he is entitled to          
recognition by  them in that peership4  
,every one who recalls clearly his      
child-time thoughts and feelings1       
remembers that even in his earliest days
 he had his own standpoint of           

observation and reflection2 that he was 
conscious of his individual  relations  
to others and to ,god2 and that1 in a   
sense1 his independent  outlook and his 
independent uplook as an individual were
 the same then  as now1 in kind1        
although not in degree4 ,he also        
remembers that1 as a  child1 he was     
often made to feel that his             
individuality was not fully  recognized 
by others1 but that it was frequently   
ignored or trenched  upon by those who  
took it for granted that1 because he was
 still a  child1 he had as yet no truly 
individual position1 attitude1 and      
rights  in the world4 ,yet it is not an 
easy thing for a parent of to-day to    
bear always in mind that every child of 
his is as truly an individual  as he was
 when he was a child4    ,in little     
things1 as in larger1 a child's         
individuality is liable to  be          
overlooked1 or to be disregarded4 ,a    
little boy was taken alarmingly  ill one
 day4 ,for several hours his loving     

mother watched him anxiously4  ,the next
 day he was in his accustomed health    
again4 ,his mother1 with  the evident   
thought that a child could have no      
comprehension like a  parent's of such a
 state of things as that1 said to him1  
tenderly3 8,my  dear boy1 you don't know
 how sick you were yesterday40 8,oh1    
yes6 ,i do1  dear mamma10 he answered2  
8,i know a great deal better than you   
do2 for  ,i was the one that was sick40 
,and many a child has the thought that  
was in that child's mind1 when he is    
spoken to as though he must get  all his
 ideas of his own feelings and          
conditions and needs from some  one who 
is supposed to represent him better than
 he can represent  himself--while he is 
still in childhood4    ,it is much the  
same in the matter of personal rights1  
as in the  matter of personal feelings4 
,a child finds that his individuality is
  constantly lost sight of1 because he  
is a child2 as it ought not to be4  ,a  
little fellow who had been given a real 

watch1 was conscious of an  advance in  
his relative position by that           
possession4 ,his uncle1 having  taken   
his own watch to the watchmaker's1 asked
 the loan of the little  fellow's watch 
for the time being1 saying that he could
 not get along  without one4 8,can't you
 get along without a watch80 asked the  
nephew4  8,no1 ,i cannot10 replied the  
uncle4 8,if ,i had mine at the          
watchmaker's1  would you lend me yours  
till mine came back80 was the little    
fellow's  searching inquiry4 8,why1 no2 
,i don't suppose ,i would10 replied the 
other4 8,but then1 you know1 ,i'm a man1
 and you are a boy40 8,well1  then10    
said the individual boy to the          
individual man2 8if you can't get  along
 without a watch1 and you wouldn't lend 
me yours if ,i needed it1  ,i can't get 
along without a watch1 and ,i can't let 
you have mine40    ,now1 the trouble in 
that case was that the boy's            
individuality was  not sufficiently     
recognized and honored by the manner of 

that request  for his watch4 ,it seemed 
to be taken for granted that1 because he
  was a child1 he had no such rights in 
his own possessions as a man  has in    
his1 and that he put no such value on   
that which he had1 as a  man would be   
sure to put on his belongings4 ,against 
that assumption  the child quite        
naturally1 and with a good show of      
logic1 resolutely  asserted himself4    
,if1 on the other hand1 the boy had been
 appealed to  as an equal1 to render a  
favor to the other because of a special 
and a  clearly explained need1 there is 
no reason to doubt that he would have   
been prompt to respond to it1 with a    
feeling of satisfaction in being  able  
to render that favor4    ,just here is  
where so many children are deprived of  
their rights as  individuals1 by        
inconsiderate parents or others4 ,when  
seats are lacking  for new comers in a  
room or a street-car1 and two or three  
children  are seated together by        
themselves in absorbing chat1 the       

temptation is  to speak quickly to the  
little ones1 telling them to vacate     
those seats  for their elders1 in a tone
 that seems to indicate that a child has
 no  rights in comparison with a grown  
person2 instead of showing by the  very 
manner of address that the children's   
attention is called to their  privilege 
of showing courtesy to their elders4 ,in
 the one case1 every  child of that     
party feels aggrieved through being made
 to feel that his  rights are not       
recognized as rights4 ,in the other     
case1 he is gratified  by the implied   
confidence in his gentlemanliness1 and  
in his readiness  to yield his rights   
gracefully4 ,a child's rights as an     
individual are  as positive and as      
sacred as a man's2 and it is never      
proper to ignore  these rights in a     
child1 any more than it would be in a   
man4    ,when a child shows an          
unexpected interest in a subject of     
conversation  between adults1 it is not 
fair for the adults to brush aside the  

child's questions or comments in a way  
that seems to say1 8,oh6 you are  only a
 child4 ,your opinions are of no        
account4 ,this is a matter for  real    
people to think and talk about40 ,yet   
how common a thing it is for  parents to
 treat their children in this way2 and  
what a mistake it is6  ,if1 indeed1 the 
subject be one that is fairly beyond a  
child's grasp1  it is quite proper to   
give the child to understand this fact1 
without  any lack of respect for his    
individuality2 but under no             
circumstances  is it right to ignore    
that individuality at such a time4      
,the deeper the theme of converse1 and  
the profounder the thought  involved in 
it1 the greater the probability of a    
child's freshness  and life in its      
considering1 if he indicates an         
appreciative interest  in its           
discussion4 ,it is not merely in the    
story of the child ,samuel  that there  
is a gleam of childhood's possibilities 
in the direction  of closer communion   

with ,god than is granted to ordinary   
manhood2 but  all the teachings of      
,scripture and of human experience tend 
to the  disclosure and confirmation of  
this same truth4 8,verily ,i say unto   
you10 says our ,lord1 8,except ye turn1 
and become as little children1 ye  shall
 in no wise enter into the kingdom of   
heaven40 ,and again3 8,see  that ye     
despise not one of these little ones2   
for ,i say unto you1 that  in heaven    
their angels do always behold the face  
of my ,father which is  in heaven40 ,and
 there is an echo of these ,divine words
 in the familiar  teachings of the      
,christian poet of nature3      8,heaven
 lies about us in our infancy6          
,shades of the prison-house begin to    
close      ,upon the growing ,boy1      
,but he beholds the light1 and whence it
 flows1--      ,he sees it in his joy2  
,the ,youth1 who daily farther from the 
,east    ,must travel1 still is         
,nature's priest1      ,and by the      
vision splendid      ,is on his way     

attended2    ,at length the ,man        
perceives it die away1    ,and fade into
 the light of common day40    ,there is1
 indeed1 a possibility of retaining the 
child-freshness of  acquaintance with   
spiritual truths even into manhood and  
through all  one's life4 ,that          
possibility every parent ought to strive
 to attain to4  8,whosoever therefore   
shall humble himself as this little     
child10 said  our ,lord1 as he pointed  
to a veritable human little one1 8the   
same is  the greatest in the kingdom of 
heaven40 ,and he who is greatest through
  being most child-like1 will be        
readiest to recognize the individuality 
and the glorious possibilities of each  
and every child committed to  his       
charge4 ,even while training a child1 he
 will learn from the child2  and so he  
and his child will grow together toward 
the measure of the  stature of the      
fulness of ,christ4          ,,ix4      
,,letting ,,alone ,,as ,a ,,means ,,of  
,,child-,,training4      ,not doing is  

always as important1 in its time and    
place1 as doing2  and this truth is as  
applicable in the realm of              
child-training as  elsewhere4           
,child-training is a necessity1 but     
there is a danger of  over-doing in the 
line of child-training4 ,the neglect of 
child-training  is a great evil4        
,over-doing in the training of a child  
may be even  a greater evil4 ,both evils
 ought to be avoided4 ,in order to their
  avoidance1 their existence and limits 
as evils must be recognized4            
,peculiarly is it the case that young   
parents who are exceptionally           
conscientious1 and exceptionally        
desirous of being wise and faithful  in 
the discharge of their parental duties1 
are liable to err in the  direction of  
over-doing in the training of their     
children4 ,it is not  that they are     
lacking in love and tenderness toward   
their little ones1  or that they are    
naturally inclined to severity as       
disciplinarians2  but it is that their  

mistaken view of the methods and        
limitations of  wise child-training     
impels them to an injudicious course of 
watchful  strictness with their         
children1 even while that course runs   
counter to  their affections and desires
 as parents4 ,their very love and       
fidelity  cause them to harm their      
children by over-doing in their         
training1 even  more than the children  
of parents less wise and faithful are   
harmed  by a lack of systematic         
training4 ,it is1 in fact1 because they 
are so  desirous of well-doing1 that    
these parents over-do in the line of    
their  best endeavors for their         
children4    ,a young father who was an 
earnest student of methods of           
child-training1  and who sincerely      
desired to be faithful in the training  
of his  first child at any cost to his  
feelings of loving tenderness toward    
that child1 made a mistake in this      
direction1 and received a lesson        
accordingly4 ,his child was as full of  

affection as she was of life  and       
spirit4 ,she had not yet learned what   
she might do and what she  might not do1
 but she was rapidly developing impulses
 and tastes in  various directions2 and 
her strength of personal character was  
showing  itself in her positiveness of  
purpose in the line of her tastes and   
impulses for the hour4 ,her father had  
heard much about the importance  of     
parental training and discipline1 but   
had heard nothing about the  danger of  
over-doing in this line2 hence he deemed
 it his duty to be  constantly directing
 or checking his child1 so as to keep   
her within  the limits of safety and    
duty as he saw it4    ,to his surprise  
and regret1 the father found that1 while
 his little  daughter was not inclined  
to waywardness or disobedience1 she was 
steadily coming into a state of chronic 
resistance to his attempts  at her      
stricter governing4 ,this resistance was
 passive rather than  active1 but it was
 none the less real for that4 ,she would

 not refuse  to obey1 but she would not 
be ready or prompt to obey4 ,she would  
not  be aroused to anger or show any    
open sign of disrespect1 but she would  
seem unable or unwilling to act as she  
was told to4 ,kind words and  earnest   
entreaties were of no avail at this     
point1 neither were they  ever resented 
or explicitly rejected4 ,if punishment  
was attempted1 she  submitted to it with
 a good grace1 but it seemed to have no 
effect in  the way of removing the cause
 of original trouble4 ,the father never1
  indeed1 lost his temper1 or grew less 
loving toward his child2 he  prayed for 
guidance1 and he gave his best thoughts 
to the problem  before him2 but all to  
no apparent purpose4 ,the matter grew   
more and  more serious1 and he was more 
and more bewildered4    ,one day1 after 
a serious struggle with his little      
daughter over a  matter that would have 
been a trifling one except as it bore on
 the  question of her character and     
welfare1 the father left his house  with

 a heavy heart1 and almost in despair   
over this question of wise              
child-training4 ,at the door he met a   
friend1 much older than himself1  with  
whom he had been a co-worker in several 
spheres of ,christian  activity4 ,seeing
 his troubled face1 that friend asked   
him the cause of  his evident anxiety1  
and the young father opened his heart1  
and told  the story of his trouble4     
8,isn't the trouble1 that you are       
over-doing  in the training of your     
child80 asked the listener2 and then he 
went  on to give his own experience in  
illustration of the meaning of this     
question4    8,my first child was my    
best child10 he said2 8and ,i harmed her
 for  life by over-doing in her         
training1 as ,i now see1 in looking back
 over  my course with her4 ,i thought ,i
 must be training her all the time1  and
 ,i forced issues with her1 and took    
notice of little things1 when  ,i would 
have done better to let her alone4 ,so  
she was checked unduly1  and shut up    

within herself by my course with her2   
and she grew up in a  rigid and         
unnatural constraint which ought not to 
have been hers4 ,i saw  my mistake      
afterwards1 and ,i allowed my other     
children more freedom1  by letting them 
alone except when they must be          
interfered with2 and  ,i've seen the    
benefit of this course4 ,my rule with   
all my children1  since my first1 has   
been to avoid an issue with them on a   
question of  discipline whenever ,i     
could do so safely4 ,and the less show  
of training  there is1 in bringing up a 
child1 the better1 as ,i see it40       
,this was a revelation to that young    
father4 ,he determined at once to  try  
to act on its suggestions1 since the    
opposite course had been such  a signal 
failure in his hands4 ,when again in his
 home1 an opportunity  for an experiment
 was soon before him4 ,his little       
daughter came into  the room1 through a 
door which she had been repeatedly told 
to push to1  after she had passed it4   

,without any special thought on the     
subject1  the father1 who sat writing at
 his desk1 said1 as often before3 8,push
  the door to1 darling40 ,and1 as often 
before1 the child stood quiet and  firm1
 as if in expectation of a new issue on 
that point4 ,the counsel  of the morning
 came into the father's mind1 and he    
said gently1 8,you  needn't shut the    
door to1 darling1 if you don't want to4 
,papa will do  it10 and at once he      
stepped and closed the door1 returning  
afterwards  to his desk1 without a word 
of rebuke to his child4    ,this was a  
new experience to the poor overtaxed    
child4 ,she stood in  perplexed thought 
for a few minutes4 ,then she came       
lovingly to her  father1 and1 asking to 
be taken up on his knee1 she clasped her
 arms  about his neck1 and said3 8,dear 
papa1 ,i'm sorry ,i didn't shut that    
door4 ,i will next time4 ,please forgive
 me1 dear papa40 ,and that was the      
beginning of a new state of things in   
that home4 ,the father had learned  that

 there was a danger of over-doing in the
 work of child-training1  and his       
children were afterwards the gainers by 
his added knowledge of  the needs and   
tastes of childhood4    ,in the case of 
this father1 the trouble had been that  
he made too many  direct issues with his
 child on questions of authority and    
obedience1  and that thus he provoked   
conflicts which might have been wisely  
avoided4 ,after this new experience he  
was very cautious at this point1  and he
 soon found that his child could be     
trained to obey without  so often       
considering the possibility of resisting
 or questioning  parental authority4    
,when1 in any case1 an issue had to be  
accepted1  the circumstances were so    
well considered that the child as well  
as  the parent saw that its right       
outcome was the only outcome4 ,the error
  of this father had been the error of a
 thoughtful and deliberate              
disciplinarian1 who was as yet but      
partially instructed2 but there are     

also thoughtless and inconsiderate      
parents who harm1 if they do not  ruin1 
their children's dispositions by        
over-doing in what they call            
child-training4 ,and this error is even 
worse than the other4    ,there are many
 parents who seem to suppose that their 
chief work in the  training of a child  
is to be incessantly commanding or      
prohibiting2  telling the child to do   
this or to do that1 and not to do this1 
that1  or the other4 ,but this nagging a
 child is not training a child2 on  the 
contrary1 it is destructive of all      
training on the part of him  who is     
addicted to it4 ,it is not the driver   
who is training a horse1  but one who   
neither is trained nor can train1 who is
 all the time  8yanking0 at the reins1  
or 8thrapping0 them up and down4        
,neither  parent nor driver1 in such a  
case1 can do as much in the direction of
  training by doing incessantly1 as by  
letting alone judiciously4 8,don't  be  
always don't-ing10 is a bit of counsel  

to parents that can hardly  be          
emphasized too strongly4 ,don't be      
always directing1 is a companion        
precept to this4 ,both injunctions are  
needful1 with the tendency of  human    
nature as it is4    ,of course1 there   
must be explicit commanding and explicit
 prohibiting  in the process of         
child-training2 but there must also be a
 large  measure of wise letting alone4  
,when to prohibit and when to command1  
in  this process1 are questions that    
demand wisdom1 thought1 and character2  
and more wisdom1 more thought1 and more 
character1 are needful in  deciding the 
question when to let the child alone4   
,the training of  a child must go on    
incessantly2 but a large share of the   
time it  will best go on by the         
operation of influences1 inspirations1  
and  inducements1 in the direction of a 
right standard held persistently  before
 the child1 without anything being said 
on the subject to the  child at every   
step in his course of progress4 ,doing  

nothing1 as a  child-trainer1 is1 in its
 order1 the best kind of doing4         
,x4    ,,training ,a ,,child ,,to       
,,self-,,control4      ,an inevitable   
struggle between the individual and the 
several powers  that go to make his     
individuality1 begins in every child at 
his very  birth1 and continues so long  
as his life in the flesh continues4 ,on 
the outcome of this struggle depends the
 ultimate character of him  who         
struggles4 ,it is1 to him1 bondage or   
mastery1 defeat or triumph1  failure or 
success1 as a result of the battling    
that cannot be evaded4  ,and1 as a      
matter of fact1 the issue of the        
life-long battle is  ordinarily settled 
in childhood4    ,a child who is trained
 to self-control--as a child may be--is 
already  a true man in his fitness for  
manly self-mastery4 ,a man who was not  
trained1 in childhood1 to self-control1 
is hopelessly a child in his  combat    
with himself2 and he can never regain   
the vantage-ground which  his childhood 

gave to him1 in the battle which then   
opened before  him1 and in the thick of 
which he still finds himself4 ,it is in 
a  child's earlier struggles with       
himself that help can easiest be given  
to him1 and that it is of greatest value
 for his own developing of  character4  
,yet at that time a child has no such   
sense of his need in  this direction as 
is sure to be his in maturer years2     
hence it is that  it rests with the     
parent to decide1 while the child is    
still a child1  whether the child shall 
be a slave to himself1 or a master of   
himself2  whether his life1 so far1     
shall be worthy or unworthy of his high 
possibilities of manhood4    ,a child's 
first struggle with himself ought to be 
in the direction of  controlling his    
impulse to give full play to his lungs  
and his muscles  at the prompting of his
 nerves4 ,as soon as the nerves make    
themselves  felt1 they prompt a child to
 cry1 to thrash his arms1 to kick1 and  
to  twist his body on every side1 at the

 slightest provocation1--or at  none4   
,unless this prompting be checked1 the  
child will exhaust himself  in aimless  
exertion1 and will increase his own     
discomfort by the very  means of its    
exhibit4 ,a control of himself at this  
point is possible to  a child1 at an age
 while he is yet unable to speak1 or to 
understand  what is spoken to him4 ,if a
 parent realizes that the child must be 
induced to control himself1 and seeks in
 loving firmness to cause the  child to 
realize that same truth1 the child will 
feel the parent's  conviction1 and will 
yield to it1 even though he cannot      
comprehend the  meaning of his parent's 
words as words4 ,the way of helping the 
child  will be found1 by the parent who 
wills to help him4 ,to leave a child to 
himself in these earliest struggles with
 himself1 is to put him at a  sad       
disadvantage in all the future combats  
of his life's warfare2 while  to give   
him wise help in these earliest         
struggles1 is to give him help  for all 

the following struggles4    ,as soon as 
a child is able to understand what is   
said to him1 he ought  to be taught and 
trained to control his impulse to cry   
and writhe  under the pressure of       
physical pain4 ,when a child has fallen 
and hurt  himself1 or has cut his       
finger1 or has burned his hand1 or has  
been hit  by an ill-directed missile1 it
 is natural for him to shriek with pain 
and fright1 and it is natural for his   
tender-hearted mother to shrink  from   
blaming him just then for indulging in  
this display of grief4  ,but even at    
such a time as this1 a mother has an    
unmistakable duty of  helping her child 
to gain a measure of control over       
himself1 so as to  repress his cries and
 to moderate his exhibit of disturbed   
feeling4    ,a child can come to        
exercise self-control under such        
circumstances as  these4 ,his mother can
 enable him to do this4 ,it is better   
for both  child and mother that he      
should have her help accordingly4       

,because of  the lack of help just here1
 many a child is a sufferer through life
 in  his inability to control himself   
under physical pain4 ,and because of    
this inability many a person has        
actually lost his life1 at a time when  
calmness of mind was essential to that  
endurance of physical suffering  which  
was the only hope of prolonged          
existence4 ,because he was not  trained 
to control his nerves1 he is hopelessly 
controlled by his  nerves4    ,coaxing  
and rewarding a child into quiet at such
 a time is not what is  needed2 but it  
is the encouraging a child into an      
intelligent control  of himself1 that is
 to be aimed at by the wise parent4 ,it 
is only a  choice between evils that    
substitutes a candy-paid silence for a  
noisy  indulgence of feeling on a       
child's part4 ,a good illustration of   
the  unwise way of inducing children to 
seem to have control of themselves1  is 
given in the familiar story of the      
little fellow throwing himself  on the  

floor and kicking and yelling1 and then 
crying out1 8,grandma1  grandma1 ,i want
 to be pacified4 ,where are your        
sugar-plums80    ,dr4 ,bushnell1        
protesting against this method of       
coaxing a child out  of a state of      
irritation1 in a fit of ill-nature1 by  
8dainties that  please the taste10 says 
forcefully1 8,it must be a very dull    
child  that will not cry and fret a     
great deal1 when it is so pleasantly    
rewarded4 ,trained1 in this manner1 to  
play ill-nature for sensation's  sake1  
it will go on rapidly1 in the course of 
double attainment1 and  will be very    
soon perfected in the double character  
of an ill-natured1  morbid sensualist1  
and a feigning cheat besides4 ,by what  
methods1 or  means1 can the great themes
 of ,god and religion get hold of a soul
  that has learned to be governed only  
by rewards of sensation1 paid to        
affectations of grief and deliberate    
actings of ill-nature80    ,that control
 of himself which is secured by a child 

in his intelligent  repression of an    
impulse to cry and writhe in physical   
pain1 is of  advantage to the child in  
all his life-long struggle with himself2
 and  he should be trained in the habit 
of making his self-control available  to
 him in this struggle4 8,i buffet my    
body or give it a black eye and  bring  
it into bondage2 lest by any means1     
after that ,i have preached  to others1 
,i myself should be rejected10 says the 
,apostle ,paul2 as  if in recognition of
 the fact that a man's battle with his  
body is a  vital conflict1 all his life 
through4 ,every child needs the help of 
his  parents in gaining control over his
 body1 instead of allowing his body  to 
gain the control of him4 ,the appetites 
and passions and impellings  of the     
outer man are continually striving for  
the mastery over the  inner man2 and    
unless one is trained to master these   
instead of being  mastered by them1 he  
is sure to fail in his life-struggle4   
,a parent ought to help his child to    

refrain from laughing when he ought  not
 to laugh2 from crying when he ought not
 to cry2 from speaking when  he ought   
not to speak2 from eating that which he 
ought not to eat1  even though the food 
be immediately before him2 from running 
about  when it is better for him to     
remain quiet2 and to be ready to say and
  to do just that which it is best for  
him to say and do1 at the time  when it 
needs to be said and done4 ,self-control
 in all these things is  possible to a  
child4 ,wise training on the parent's   
part can secure it4  ,the principle     
which is operative here1 is operative in
 every sphere of  human existence4 ,by  
means of self-control a child is made   
happier1 and  is fitted for his duties1 
while a child and ever after1 as        
otherwise  he could not be4 ,many a     
man's life-course is saddened through   
his  hopeless lack of that self-control 
to which he could easily have been      
helped in childhood1 if only his parents
 had understood his needs and  been     

faithful accordingly4          ,,xi4    
,,training ,a ,,child ,,not ,,to        
,,tease4      ,a child who never        
8teases0 is a rarity2 yet no child ought
 to tease4  ,if a child does tease1 the 
blame of his teasing properly rests on  
his  parents1 rather than on himself4   
,the parent who realizes this fact1     
will have an added stimulus to the work 
of training his child not to  tease2 and
 no phase of the work of child-training 
is simpler1 or surer  of its result1    
than this one4    8,to tease0 is 8to    
pull10 8to tug10 8to drag10 8to vex or  
carry with  importunity40 ,a child      
teases when he wants something from his 
parents1  and fails to get it at the    
first asking4 ,he pulls and tugs at his 
parents1 in the hope of dragging them to
 his way of thinking1 or to  a consent  
to his having what he wants in spite of 
their different  thinking4 ,he hopes to 
vex or carry them into the line of his  
desires  by means of his importunities1 
whatever their view of the case may have

  been1 to begin with4 ,if a child could
 have what he wanted at his first       
asking1 he would not tease2 for there   
would be no room for his teasing4  ,if a
 child never secured anything through   
teasing1 he would not come  into the    
habit of teasing2 for there would be no 
inducement to him to  tease4 ,when1     
therefore1 a child is accustomed to     
tease1 it is evident  that he has been  
trained by his parents to tease1 instead
 of being  trained by them not to tease2
 and they are to bear the responsibility
  and blame of his teasing4    ,many a  
child does not expect to get what he    
wants1 if it is out of the  ordinary    
line of his daily needs1 unless he      
teases for it2 therefore  he counts     
teasing a part of his regular duty in   
life1 as truly as  8beating down0 the   
city shop-keeper on his prices is       
supposed to be  the duty of a shopper   
from the country4 ,if a child asks for a
 slice  of bread-and-butter1 or a bit of
 meat1 at the family table1 or for  a   

glass of water between meals1 he expects
 to get it at the first  asking4        
,teasing for that is not in his mind as 
a necessity4 ,but if  he wants to stay  
at home from school without any reason  
for it1 or to  start off with some of   
his schoolmates on a long and hazardous 
tramp  on a ,saturday1 or to sit up an  
hour later than usual at night1 or to   
have a new sled or velocipede or        
bicycle1 or to go to the circus or to   
hear the minstrels1 8like all the other 
fellows10--he is not so sure  of gaining
 his request at the first asking4 ,so1  
when the answer 8,no0  comes back to    
him1 in such a case1 he meets it with   
the appeal1 8,do let  me4 ,oh1 do60 and 
then he enters upon a nerve struggle for
 the mastery  over his parents at this  
point1 with the idea in his mind that it
 is a  single question of who shall be  
most persistent in adhering to his side 
of the conflict4    ,there are few      
children who always succeed in carrying 
their point by  teasing2 but there are  

fewer who never succeed by this means4  
,most  parents give way1 sooner or      
later1 in some of these conflicts with  
their children4 ,it may be that they are
 less determined than their  children1  
and that they are simply tired out by   
the teasing4 ,it may be  that they are  
moved by their children's earnestness in
 the matter1 and  that they yield       
because of their tenderness toward the  
little pleaders4  ,it may be that their 
first answer to the appeal is a         
thoughtless one1  and that their fuller 
considering of the matter leads them to 
see it to  be right to reverse their    
impulsive decision4 ,whatever be the    
parents'  reason for their course in    
such a case1 if they give a negative    
answer  to their children's first       
request1 and an affirmative one in      
response  to more or less teasing on the
 children's part1 they train their      
children so far to believe that teasing 
is an important factor in a  child's    
progress in life2 and of course they are

 responsible for their  children's      
continuance in the habit of teasing4    
,it is a misfortune to a child to       
suppose that teasing is essential to    
his gaining a point that he ought to    
gain4 ,a result of such a view in  his  
mind is1 that he looks not to his       
parents' wisdom and judgment1 but  to   
his own positiveness and persistency1 as
 the guide of his action  in any mooted 
case of personal conduct2 not to        
principles which are  disclosed to him  
by one who is in authority1 but to      
impulses which are  wholly in his own   
bosom4 ,such a view is inimical to all  
wise methods  of thinking and doing on a
 child's part4 ,and it is even more of a
  misfortune to the parent than to the  
child1 for a child to have the  idea    
that the parent's decision is a result  
of the child's teasing1  rather than of 
the parent's understanding of what is   
right and best in  a given case4 ,no    
parent can have the truest respect of a 
child1 while  the child knows that he   

can tease that parent into compliance   
with the  child's request1 contrary to  
the parent's real or supposed           
conviction4  ,for the child's sake1     
therefore1 and also for the parent's1   
every  child ought to be trained not to 
tease1 and not to expect any possible   
advantage from teasing4    ,susannah    
,wesley1 the mother of ,john and        
,charles ,wesley1 was accustomed  to    
say1 of her children1 that they all     
learned very early that they  were not  
to have anything that they cried for1   
and that so they soon  learned not to   
cry for a thing that they wanted4 ,who  
will doubt that  ,john and ,charles     
,wesley were stronger men1 for this     
training1 than  they could have been if 
they were trained to look upon crying as
 a  means of securing what was best for 
them8 ,who will doubt that ,susannah    
,wesley was more of a woman1 and more   
respected by her sons because of  her   
unvarying firmness at this point1 than  
would have been possible  if she had    

frequently yielded to the pressure of   
their piteous crying  for that which it 
was against her judgment to give to     
them8 ,any parent  who would apply this 
rule of ,susannah ,wesley to the matter 
of teasing1  might be sure of a         
corresponding result in the children's  
estimate of  the practical value of     
teasing4 ,any child who finds that he is
 never  to have anything for which he   
teases1 will quickly quit teasing4 ,how 
simple this rule1 for this department of
 child-training6    ,simple as it seems1
 however1 to be uniformly positive in   
refusing  to give to a child anything   
for which he teases1 it is not an easy  
thing to adhere to this rule1           
unvaryingly1 and to do it wisely4 ,and  
the trouble in the case is not with the 
child1 but with the parent4  ,in order  
to give promptly1 to a child's request1 
an answer that can  rightly be insisted 
upon against all entreaties1 a parent   
must do his  thinking before he gives   
that answer1 rather than afterwards4    

,too often  a parent denies a child's   
request at the start without considering
 the  case in all its bearings2 and     
then1 when the child presses his suit1  
the parent sees reasons for granting it 
which had not been in his mind  before4 
,the child perceives this state of      
things1 and realizes that the  question 
is to be settled by his teasing1 rather 
than by his parent's  independent       
judgment2 and that1 therefore1 teasing  
is the only means of  securing a correct
 decision in the premises4    ,training 
a child not to tease1 is a duty         
incumbent upon every parent2  but1 as a 
prerequisite to this training of the    
child1 the parent  must himself be      
trained4 ,when a child asks a favor of a
 parent1 the  parent must not reply     
hastily1 or thoughtlessly1 or without a 
full  understanding of the case in all  
its involvings4 ,if necessary1 he may   
question the child1 in order to a better
 understanding of the case1  or he may  
postpone his answer until he can learn  

more about it2 but he  must not be over 
quick to reply merely as a means of     
pushing away the  request for the time  
being4 ,he must consider carefully what 
his final  answer ought to be1 before he
 gives an answer that the child is to   
accept as final2 and when the parent    
gives that answer1 it ought to be  with 
such kindly firmness that the child will
 not think of pressing his  suit by     
teasing4 ,and thus it is that any       
well-trained parent can train  his child
 well in this sphere4          ,,xii4   
,,training ,a ,,child',s ,,appetite4    
,what a grown person likes to eat or    
drink depends largely on what that      
person was trained to eat or drink while
 a child4 ,and a child can  be trained  
to like almost any sort of food or      
drink1 either good or  bad4 ,no small   
responsibility1 therefore1 for both the 
health and the  enjoyment of a child1   
devolves on him who has in hand the     
training of a  child's appetite4        
,that a child inherits tastes in the    

matter of food and drink cannot be      
questioned2 but this fact does not      
forbid the training of a child's  tastes
 away from its inborn tendencies2 it    
merely adds an element to  be considered
 in the training process4 ,a child born 
in the tropics  soon learns to like the 
luscious fruits which are given to him  
freely2  while a child born in the      
arctic regions learns with the same     
rapidity  to like the grosser diet of   
fish and oil which is his chief supply  
of  food4 ,in one region the people live
 mainly on roots and berries2 in        
another1 they devour raw flesh or drink 
fresh blood2 in yet another1  they eat  
dried locusts or grasshoppers2 in yet   
another1 it is milk or  honey which is  
their chief means of sustaining life4   
,in every region  the children are      
easily trained to enjoy the eating of   
that which they  have to eat2 and if a  
child is taken at an early age from one 
region to  another1 he quickly adapts   
himself to his new conditions1 and      

learns  to like that which is given to  
him as his means of satisfying hunger4  
,all of which goes to show that the     
natural appetite of a child does not    
demand one kind of food above another1  
to that extent which forbids the        
training of a child to enjoy that which 
he can have and which he ought  to use4 
,as a rule1 very little attention is    
given to the training of a child's      
appetite4 ,the child is supplied with   
that food which is easiest  obtained1   
and which the child is readiest to take4
 ,if the parents give  little thought to
 their children's welfare1 they simply  
allow their  children to share with them
 at the common table1 without           
considering  whether or not the food is 
that which is best suited to the        
children's  needs4 ,if the parents are  
tender-hearted1 and lovingly indulgent  
toward  their children1 they are quite  
likely to show favor by giving to them  
those things which please a child's     
palate1 or which are favorites with  the

 parents themselves4    ,finding that a 
child likes sugar1 a parent is tempted  
to give a bit  of sugar to a child who  
is not ready to take anything else at   
its  meal-time2 even though that bit of 
sugar may destroy the child's  appetite 
for the hour1 or disturb the child's    
stomach for all day4  ,again1 seeing    
that the child is glad to try any       
article of food which  his parent       
enjoys1 the parent1 perhaps1 proffers   
from his own plate  that which he deems 
a delicacy2 although it may be of all   
things the  least suited to the child's 
state of health1 or condition of being4 
,and  so it is that the child is trained
 in wrong ways of eating1 at the very   
time when he most needs training in the 
right way4    ,a child is quite likely  
to have his freaks and fancies of       
appetite1  which a kind parent is       
tempted to indulge instead of checking4 
,one  child would eat only the softer   
part of bread1 while rejecting its      
crust4 ,one would eat meat without      

vegetables2 another would refuse one    
kind of meat1 or of vegetables1 while   
eating all others freely2 and so  on4   
,the more these peculiarities are       
indulged1 the stronger becomes  their   
hold on the child4 ,the more they are   
checked and restrained1  the weaker     
their power becomes4 ,yet most parents  
seem to count such  peculiarities as    
beyond their control1 and therefore to  
be accepted as  inevitable2 instead of  
realizing their personal responsibility 
for the  continuance or the removal of  
them4    8,your boy ought to eat less   
meat and more farinaceous food10 says a 
physician to a mother1 whose boy is in  
the doctor's hands4 8,let him  have     
oatmeal and milk for breakfast2 and see 
to it that he eats meat  only once a    
day1 and sparingly at that40 8,johnny is
 a great hand for  meat10 is the answer2
 8and he can't take oatmeal40 ,and in   
that  answer the mother shows that all  
the blame in the case rests on  herself1
 and not on her ,johnny4 ,johnny ought  

to have been trained to  eat what is    
good for him1 instead of indulging his  
personal whims in  the eating line4     
,when a mother says1 8,my boy won't eat 
potatoes10 or 8,he won't eat  tomatoes10
 or 8,he will eat no meat but beef10 she
 simply confesses to  her culpable      
failure of duty in the training of her  
boy's appetite4 ,if  she were to say    
that she did not approve of one of those
 things1 or of  the other1 and therefore
 she would not give it to him1 that     
would be  one thing2 but when she says  
that he will not take it even though she
  thinks it best for him1 that is quite 
another thing2 and there is where  the  
blame comes in4    ,of course1 it is to 
be understood that there are articles of
 food in  familiar use which1 here and  
there1 a child cannot eat with safety4  
,on the seashore1 for example1 the clam1
 which is eaten freely by  most persons1
 seems to be as poison to certain       
individuals4 ,it is  not that these     
persons do not like the clam2 but it is 

that their  systems recoil from it1 and 
that its eating is sure to bring on a   
serious illness4 ,a like state of things
 exists with regard to fresh            
strawberries in the country4 ,they are a
 delicious fruit in the  estimation of  
most persons4 ,they are as a mild form  
of poison to  certain individuals4 ,but 
these cases are abnormal ones4 ,they    
have no  practical bearing on the       
prevailing rule1 that a child can be    
trained  to like whatever he ought to   
eat1 and to refrain from the eating of  
whatever is not best for him4 ,and      
herein is the principle of wise         
training in the realm of a child's      
appetite4    ,a prominent ,american     
educator put this principle into        
practice in his  own family1 consisting 
of four boys and four girls4 ,he was a  
man of  limited means1 and he felt the  
necessity of training his children to   
eat such food as he deemed proper for   
them1 and as good as he could  afford to
 supply4 ,his choice of food for his    

family table was wisely  made1 to begin 
with2 and then he showed wisdom in his  
mode of pressing  it upon his children4 
,if those children deemed a dish        
distasteful1 they were privileged to    
wait until they were willing to eat it4 
,there was no undue pressure  brought to
 bear on them4 ,they could simply eat   
it1 or let it alone4 ,if  they went     
without it that meal1 the same dish1 or 
a similar one1 was  before them for the 
next meal2 and so on until hunger gave  
them the  zest to eat it with unfeigned 
heartiness4 ,by this means those        
children  learned to eat what they ought
 to eat2 and when they had come to years
  of maturity they realized the value of
 this training1 which had made  them the
 rulers of their appetite1 instead of   
being its slaves4 ,it  needs no single  
example to illustrate the opposite      
course from this  one4 ,on every side we
 see persons who are subject to the     
whims and  caprices of their appetite1  
because their appetite was never trained

 to  be subject to them4 ,and in one or 
another of these two directions the     
upbringing of every child is tending    
to-day4    ,peculiarly in the use of    
candy and of condiments is a child's    
appetite  likely to be untrained1 or    
trained amiss4 ,neither the one nor the 
other  of these articles is suited to a 
child's needs2 but both of them are     
allowed to a child1 regardless of what  
is best for him4 ,the candy is  given   
because the child fancies it4 ,the      
condiments are given because  the       
parents fancy them4 ,neither of the two 
is supposed to be beneficial  to the    
child1 but each is given in its turn    
because of the child's wish  for it1 and
 of the parent's weakness4 ,there are   
parents who train  their children not to
 eat candy between meals1 nor to use    
condiments  at meals4 ,these parents are
 wiser than the average2 and their      
children  are both healthier and        
happier4 ,there ought to be more of such
 parents1  and more of such children4   

,the difficulty in the way is always    
with the  parents1 instead of with the  
children4    ,it is affirmed as a fact1 
that some ,shetland ponies which were   
brought  to ,america had been accustomed
 to eat fish1 and that for a time they  
refused to eat hay1 but finally were    
trained to its eating until they  seemed
 to enjoy it as heartily as other       
ponies4 ,children to whom  cod-liver oil
 was most distasteful when it was first 
given to them as  a medicine1 have been 
trained to like cod-liver oil as well as
 they  liked syrup4 ,and so it has been 
in the use of acid drinks1 or of bitter 
coffee1 by young children under the     
direction of a physician4 ,by firm  and 
persistent training the children have   
been brought to like that  from which   
for a time they recoiled4 ,it is for the
 parents to decide1  with the help of   
good medical counsel1 what their        
children ought to  like1 and then to    
train them to like it4    ,it is by no  
means an easy matter for a parent to    

train a child's  appetite2 but it is a  
very important matter1 nevertheless4    
,nothing  that is worth doing in this   
world is an easy matter2 and whatever is
  really worth doing is worth all that  
its doing costs--and more4 ,in spite  of
 all its difficulties1 the training of  
any child's appetite can be  compassed1 
by ,god's blessing4 ,and compassed it   
ought to be1 whatever  are its          
difficulties4 ,it is for the parent to  
decide what the child  shall eat1 as it 
is for the parent to decide what that   
child shall  wear4 ,the parent who holds
 himself responsible for what a child   
shall  put on1 but who shirks his       
responsibility for what that child shall
  take in1 would seem to have more      
regard for the child's appearance than  
for his upbuilding from within2 and that
 could hardly be counted a sign  of     
parental wisdom or of parental love4    
,,xiii4    ,,training ,a ,,child ,,as ,a
 ,,questioner4      ,a child is a born  
questioner4 ,he does not have to be     

trained to be  a questioner2 but he does
 need to be trained as a questioner4 ,a 
child has been not inaptly called 8an   
animated interrogation-point40  ,before 
a child can speak his questions1 he     
looks them2 and when he  can speak them 
out1 his questions crowd one another for
 expression1  until it would seem that1 
if a parent were to answer all of his   
child's questions1 that parent would    
have time to do nothing else4 ,the      
temptation to a parent1 in view of this 
state of things1 is to repress  a child 
as a questioner1 rather than to train   
him as a questioner2 and  just here is  
where a parent may lose or undervalue a 
golden privilege  as a parent4    ,the  
beginning of all knowledge is a         
question4 ,all progress in knowledge  is
 a result of continued questioning4     
,whence8 ,what8 ,why8 ,wherefore8       
,whither8 ,these are the starting-points
 of investigation and research  to young
 and to old alike2 and when any one of  
these questions has  been answered in   

one sphere1 it presents itself anew in  
another4  ,unless a child were a        
questioner at the beginning of his life1
 he  could make no start in knowledge2  
and if a child were ever caused to  stay
 his questionings1 there would be at    
once an end to his progress  in         
knowledge4 ,questioning is the          
expression of mental appetite4 ,he who  
lacks the desire to question1 is in     
danger of death from intellectual       
starvation4    ,yet with all the        
importance that1 on the face of it1     
attaches to a  child's impulse to ask   
questions1 it is unmistakably true that 
far  more pains are taken by parents    
generally to check children in their    
questionings1 than to train them in     
their questioning4 8,don't be asking  so
 many questions20 8,why will you be     
asking questions all the time80         
8,you'll worry my life out with your    
questions40 ,these are the parental     
comments on a child's questions1 rather 
than1 8,i'm glad to have you  want to   

know about all these things20 or1       
8,never hesitate to ask me a  question  
about anything that you want to know    
more of20 or1 8,the more  questions you 
ask1 the better1 if only they are proper
 questions40    ,sooner or later the    
average child comes to feel that1 the   
fewer  questions he asks1 the more of a 
man he will be2 and so he represses  his
 impulse to inquire into the nature and 
purpose and meaning of that  which newly
 interests him2 until1 perhaps1 he is no
 longer curious  concerning that which  
he does not understand1 or is hopeless  
of any  satisfaction being given to him 
concerning the many problems which      
perplex his wondering mind4 ,by the time
 he has reached young manhood1  he who  
was full of questions in order that he  
might have knowledge1  seems to be      
willing to live and die in ignorance1   
rather than to make a  spectacle of     
himself by multiplying questions that   
may be an annoyance  to others1 or that 
may be deemed a source of discredit to  

himself4    ,there are obvious reasons  
why the average parent is not inclined  
to  encourage his child to ask all the  
questions he thinks of4 ,in the first   
place1 it takes a great deal of time to 
answer a child's questions4  ,it takes  
time to feed a child1 and to wash it and
 dress it2 but it  takes still more time
 to supply food and clothing for a      
child's mind4  ,and when a parent finds 
that the answering of fifty questions in
  succession from a child only seems to 
prompt the child to ask five  hundred   
questions more1 it is hardly to be      
wondered at that the parent  thinks     
there ought to be a stop put to this    
sort of thing somewhere4  ,then1 again1 
a child's questions are not always easy 
to be answered  by the child's parent4  
,the average child can ask questions    
that the  average parent cannot answer2 
and it is not pleasant for a parent to  
be compelled to confess ignorance on a  
subject in which his child has  a living
 interest4 ,it is so much easier1 and so

 much more imposing1  for a parent to   
talk to a child on a subject which the  
parent does  understand1 and which the  
child does not1 than it is for the      
parent  to be questioned by the child on
 a subject which neither child nor      
parent understands1 that the parent's   
temptation is a strong one to           
discountenance a habit that has this    
dangerous tendency4    ,that there ought
 to be limitations to a child's         
privilege of  question-asking is        
evident2 for every privilege1 like every
 duty1 has  its limitations4 ,but the   
limitations of this privilege ought to  
be as  to the time when questions may be
 asked1 and as to the persons of whom   
they may be asked1 rather than as to the
 extent of the questioning4 ,a  child   
ought not to be free to ask his mother's
 guest how old she is1  or why she does 
not look as pleasant as his mother2 nor 
yet to ask one  of his poorer playmates 
why he has no better shoes1 or how it is
 that  his mother has to do her own     

washing4 ,a child must not interrupt    
others  in order to ask a question that 
fills his mind1 nor is it always right  
for him to ask a question of his father 
or mother before others4 ,when  to ask1 
and of whom to ask1 the questions that  
it is proper for him to  ask1 must be   
made known to a child in connection with
 his training by  his parents as a      
questioner4    ,it is to the parent that
 a child ought to be privileged to come 
in  unrestrained freeness as a          
questioner4 ,both the mother and the    
father  should welcome from a child any 
question that the child honestly        
desires an answer to4 ,and every parent 
ought to set apart times for a  child's 
free questioning1 when the child can    
feel that the hour is as  sacred to that
 purpose as the hour of morning and     
evening devotion is  sacred to prayer4  
,it may be just before breakfast1 or    
just after1 or at  the close of the day1
 that the father is to be always ready  
to answer  his child's special          

questions4 ,it may be when father and   
child walk out  together1 or during the 
quieter hours of ,sunday1 that the child
 is sure  of his time for questioning   
his father4 ,the mother's surest time   
for  helping her child as a questioner1 
is at the child's bed-time2 although    
her child may be free to sit by her side
 when she is sewing1 or to  stand near  
her when she is busy about other        
household matters1 and to  question her 
while she is thus working4 ,whenever the
 child's hour for  questioning his      
parent has come1 the child ought to be  
encouraged to  ask any and every        
question that he really wants to ask2   
and the parent  ought to feel bound to  
give to the child's every question a    
loving and  well-considered answer4     
,a child needs parental help in his     
training as a questioner4 ,while he  is 
to be free to ask questions1 he is to   
exercise his freedom within  the limits 
of reason and of a right purpose4 ,a    
child may be inclined to  multiply silly

 questions1 thoughtless questions1      
aimless questions4 ,in  such a case1 he 
needs to be reminded of his duty of     
seeking knowledge  and of trying to gain
 it1 and that neither his time nor his  
parent's  time ought to be wasted in    
attending to questions that have no     
point to  them4 ,again1 a child may be  
inclined to dwell unduly on a single    
point  in his questioning4 ,then it is  
his parent's duty to turn him away from 
that point by inducing him to question  
on another point4 ,whenever a  child is 
questioning his parent1 that parent has 
the responsibility  and the power of    
training the child as a questioner1 by  
receiving in  kindness and by shaping   
with discretion the child's commendable 
impulse  and purpose of questioning4    
,when a child asks a question that a    
parent really cannot answer1 it is  a   
great deal better for the parent to say 
frankly1 8,i do not know10  than to say 
impatiently1 8,oh6 don't be asking such 
foolish questions40  ,but1 on the other 

hand1 it is often better to give a      
simple answer1 an  answer to one point  
in the child's question1 than to attempt
 an answer  that is beyond the child's  
comprehension1 or than to say that it is
  impossible to explain that subject to 
a child just now4 ,for example1 if  a   
child asks why it is that the sunrise is
 always to be seen from the  windows on 
one side of the house1 and the sunset   
from the windows on  the other side1    
there is no need of telling him that he 
is too young  to have that explained to 
him1 nor yet of attempting an           
explanation of  the astronomical facts  
involved4 ,the better way is to answer  
him that  the one window looks toward   
the east and the other toward the west2 
and  that the sun rises in the east and 
sets in the west4 ,this will give the   
child one new item of knowledge2 and    
that is all that he cares for just      
then4    ,a child may ask a question on 
a point that cannot with propriety be   
made clear to him just yet4 ,in such a  

case he ought not to be rebuked  for    
seeking light1 but an answer of some    
kind is to be given to him1  in         
declaration of a general truth that     
includes the specific subject  of his   
inquiry2 and then he is to be kindly    
told that by and by he can  know more   
about this than he can now4 ,this will  
satisfy a well-disposed  child for the  
time being1 while it will encourage him 
to continue in  the attitude of a       
truth-seeking questioner4    ,a very    
simple answer to his every question is  
all that a child looks  for2 but that is
 his right1 if he is honestly seeking   
information1 and  it is his parent's    
duty to give it to him1 if he comes for 
it at a  proper time and in a proper    
spirit4 ,a child is harmed if he be     
unduly  checked as a questioner2 and he 
is helped as he could be in no other    
way1 as a truth-seeker1 if he be        
encouraged and wisely trained by his    
parents in a child's high prerogative as
 a questioner4          ,,xiv4          

,,training ,a ,,child',s ,,faith4       
,there is no need of trying to implant  
faith in a child's nature1 for  it is   
there to begin with4 ,but there is need 
of training a child's  faith1 so that it
 shall be rightly directed and wisely   
developed4 ,every  child has the        
instinct of faith1 as surely as it has  
the instinct of  appetite4 ,the inborn  
impulse to seek nourishment is not more 
real and  positive in a normal child1   
than is the impulse in such a child to  
cling to and to trust another4 ,both    
instincts are already there1 and  both  
need training4    ,the faith here spoken
 of is that faith that rests on a       
person1 not that  miscalled 8faith0     
which applies to an assent to a series  
of dogmas4  ,true faith1 indeed1 always 
rests on a person4 ,any other use of the
 term  is only by accommodation1 and is 
liable to be misleading4 ,one of the    
best definitions of ,christian faith is1
 8,that act by which one person1  a     
sinner1 commits himself to another      

person1 a ,saviour40 ,even before  a    
child is old enough to learn of a       
,saviour1 the instinct of faith  is one 
of the child's qualities2 just as the   
instinct of hunger is a  child's quality
 before the child is old enough to know 
the nature of  its fitting food4 ,if a  
mother1 or a nurse1 or even a stranger1 
puts a  finger into the chubby hand of  
an infant1 that little hand will close  
over the proffered finger1 and cling to 
it as for dear life4 ,and it is  not    
until a child has learned to distrust1  
that it is said to be 8old  enough to be
 afraid40 ,while a child's faith is yet 
undisturbed1 as also  after a child's   
faith has become discriminating1 a      
child's faith needs  wise directing and 
developing2 and to this end there is    
need of wisdom  and of care on the part 
of those who have the responsibility of 
this  training4    ,while the instinct  
of faith is innate in the child1 a      
knowledge of  the ,one on whom his faith
 can rest with ultimate confidence is   

not  innate4 ,a knowledge of ,god comes 
to man by revelation2 and whoever has   
responsibility for a child's moral      
training1 has the duty of revealing  to 
that child a knowledge of ,god4 ,but a  
child can understand ,god1 and  can     
grasp a true conception of him1 quite as
 easily as the profoundest  philosopher 
can4 ,a child does not need to be led by
 degrees into a  knowledge of ,god4 ,as 
soon as he is capable of learning that  
his voice  can be heard by his loving   
mother or his loving father in another  
room1  he is capable of learning that   
his voice can be heard by a loving      
,father whom he has never seen2 who is  
always within hearing1 but never  within
 sight2 who is the loving ,father of his
 father and mother1 as  well as of      
himself and of everybody else2 who is   
able to do all things1  and who is sure 
to do all things well4 ,in the knowledge
 of this truth1  a child can be taught  
to pray to ,god in faith1 as early as he
 can  speak2 and even to know something 

of the meaning of prayer before he  can 
utter words intelligently4    ,from the 
very beginning the child can take in the
 great truths  concerning ,god's nature1
 and the scope of ,god's power1 as fully
 as a  theologian can take them in4     
,therefore there need be no fear that   
too  much is proffered to the child's   
mind in this sphere1 if only it all be  
proffered in simplicity as explicit     
truth1 without any attempt at its       
explanation4    ,bishop ,patteson1 in   
his missionary work among the ,south    
,sea ,islanders1  found it best to begin
 with ,john's ,gospel1 in imparting     
religious  instruction to untutored     
natives2 for they could take that in    
easier  than they could comprehend the  
historical books of the ,bible4 ,it is  
much the same with children4 ,they can  
receive the profoundest truths of  the  
,bible without any explanation4 ,when   
they are older1 they will be  better    
fitted to grapple with the difficulties 
of elementary religious  teachings4 ,the

 idea that a child must have a knowledge
 of the outline  of the ,bible story    
before he knows the central truth that  
,jesus ,christ  is his loving ,saviour1 
is as unreasonable as it would be to    
suppose  that a child must know the     
anatomy of the human frame before he is 
able to believe in his mother's love for
 him4    ,the first lesson in the       
training of a child's faith is the      
lesson that  he is to have faith in     
,god4 ,many a child is told to have     
faith in the  power of prayer1 or faith 
in the value of good conduct1 without   
being  shown that his faith should rest 
wholly and absolutely on ,god4 ,he is   
told that he can hope to have whatever  
he prays for2 and that if he is  a good 
boy he can expect a blessing1 while if  
he is a bad boy he cannot  expect to be 
blessed4 ,with this training the child's
 faith is drawn  away from ,god1 and is 
led to rest on his personal conduct2    
whereas his  faith ought to be trained  
to rest on the ,god to whom he prays1   

and in  loving obedience to whom he     
strives to be good4    ,if you tell a   
child that ,god is able and ready to    
give him everything  that he prays for1 
the child is prompt to accept your      
statement as  a truth1 and so he prays  
for a pleasant day1 when a pleasant day 
is  desired by him4 ,if the pleasant day
 comes accordingly1 the child's  faith  
in prayer is confirmed2 but if the day  
be a stormy one1 the  child's mind is   
bewildered1 and a doubt is likely to    
creep into his  mind whether prayer is  
always so effective as he had been told 
to  believe it to be4 ,and the case is  
similar when the child prays for  the   
health of one whom he loves1 or for some
 gift which he longs to  receive1 or for
 success in some personal endeavor1 and 
the issue is not  in accordance with his
 petition4    ,if1 however1 on the other
 hand1 you plainly tell a child that    
,god knows  what is best for us better  
than we know for ourselves1 and that1   
while  ,god is glad to have us come to  

him with all our wishes and all our     
troubles1 we must leave it to ,god to   
decide just what he will give to  us and
 do for us1 the child is ready to accept
 this statement as the  truth2 and then 
his faith in ,god is not disturbed in   
the slightest  degree by finding that   
,god has decided to do differently from 
his  request to ,god in prayer4 ,on     
every side1 children are being taught   
to have faith in prayer1 rather than to 
have faith in ,god2 and1 in             
consequence1 their faith is continually 
subject to shocks which would  never    
have disturbed it if it had been trained
 to rest on ,god instead  of resting on 
prayer4    ,if you tell a child that    
,god loves good children1 and that he   
does  not love bad children1 the child  
will believe you2 and then1 when he     
thinks he is a good child1 he will be   
glad that there is a ,god who can       
appreciate him2 but when he knows he is 
a bad child1 he will perhaps  be sorry  
that there is a ,god in the universe to 

be his enemy4 ,so far  as your training 
does its legitimate work1 in this       
instance1 the  child is trained1 not to 
have faith in ,god1 but to have         
confidence in  his own merits as a means
 of commending him to the ,god whom you 
have  misrepresented to him4 ,if1 on the
 other hand1 you tell a child that  ,god
 is love1 and that his love goes out    
unfailingly toward all1 even  toward    
those who have no love for him1 and     
that1 while ,god loves to  have children
 good1 he loves them tenderly while they
 are very bad1 the  child will take in  
that great truth gratefully2 and then he
 is readier  to have faith in ,god1 and 
to want to be good because the loving   
,god  loves to have him good4 ,and in   
this way a child's faith in ,god may be 
the means of quickening and shaping his 
desires in the direction of  well-doing4
    ,as a means of training a child's   
faith in ,god more intelligently and    
with greater definiteness1 the fact of  
the ,incarnation may be disclosed  to   

him in all the fulness of its richest   
meaning4 ,a very young child  can       
comprehend the truth that ,god in his   
love sent his ,son into this  world as a
 little child1 with the name ,jesus--or 
,saviour2 that ,jesus  grew up from     
childhood into manhood1 that he loved   
little children1  that he died for them1
 that he rose again from the dead1 and  
ascended  into heaven1 that still he    
loves children1 that he watches over    
them  tenderly1 and that he is ready to 
help them in all their trials and       
needs1 and to be their ,saviour forever4
 ,with this knowledge of ,jesus  as     
,god's representative1 a child can be   
trained to trust ,jesus at all  times2  
to feel safe in darkness and in danger  
because of his nearness1  his love1 and 
his power2 to be sure of his sympathy1  
and to rest on  him as a sufficient     
,saviour4 ,that a child is capable of   
such faith as  this1 is not fairly a    
question4 ,the only question1 if        
question there  be1 is whether any one  

but a child can attain to such faith4   
,one thing  is as sure as the words of  
,jesus are true1 and that is1 that      
8whosoever  shall not receive the       
kingdom of ,god as a little child shall 
in no wise  enter therein20 or1 in other
 words1 that a little child's faith is a
  pattern for the believers of every    
age4    ,the training of a child's faith
 is the most delicate and the most      
important duty that devolves upon one   
who is set to the work of               
child-training4 ,more is involved in it 
for the child's welfare1 and  more      
depends upon it for the child's         
enjoyment and efficiency in life1  than 
pivots on any other phase of the        
training of a child4 ,he who would      
train a child's faith aright has need of
 wisdom1 and yet more has need  of      
faith1--just such faith as that to the  
exercise of which he would  train the   
child of his charge4 ,peculiarly has a  
parent need to watch  lest he check or  
hinder unduly the loving promptings of a

 child's  faith2 for it is our ,lord    
himself who has said3 8,whoso shall     
cause one  of these little ones which   
believe on me to stumble1 it is         
profitable  for him that a great        
millstone should be hanged about his    
neck1 and  that he should be sunk in the
 depth of the sea40          ,,xv4      
,,training ,,children ,,to ,,sabbath    
,,observance4      ,every day in the    
week is the ,lord's day1 for children2  
but one day  in the week is peculiarly  
the ,lord's day1 for children as well as
  for older persons4 ,how to train a    
child to wise and faithful ,sabbath     
observance1 on the ,lord's day1 is a    
question that puzzles many a  ,christian
 parent2 and1 as a rule1 the more true  
and loving and  ,christ-like the parent1
 the greater the practical puzzle at    
this point4  ,the difficulty in the case
 is not so much1 how to secure the      
observance  of the ,sabbath by a child1 
as it is to decide what should be the   
proper  observance of the ,sabbath by a 

child4    ,if1 indeed1 it were simply a 
question of compelling a child to       
conform to certain fixed and rigid rules
 of ,sabbath observance1 any            
able-bodied and determined parent1 with 
a stern face1 and the help of  a birch  
rod and a dark closet1 could compass all
 the difficulties of  the case4 ,but    
while it is a question of bringing the  
child to enjoy  the loving service of   
,god on ,god's peculiar day1 it requires
 other  qualities than sternness on the 
parent's part1 and other agencies  than 
a birch rod and a dark closet1 to meet  
the requirements of the  situation4 ,and
 so it is that a right apprehension of  
the nature of a  wise and proper        
observance of the ,sabbath is an        
essential prerequisite  of the wise and 
proper training of children to such an  
observance4    ,love must be at the     
basis of all acceptable service of ,god4
 ,any  observance of the commands of    
,god which is slavish and reluctant1 is 
sure to lack ,god's approval4 ,the      

,sabbath is a sign1 or a token1 of the  
loving covenant between ,god and his    
people4 ,it is to be borne in mind1  it 
is to be remembered1 it is to be counted
 holy1 accordingly4 ,one day  in seven  
is to be given up to loving thoughts of 
,god1 to a loving rest  from one's own  
work and pleasure1 and to a loving part 
in the worship  of ,god4 ,on that day1  
above other days1 the thought of ,god's 
children  should be3      8,this is the 
day which the ,lord hath made2    ,we   
will rejoice and be glad in it40    ,how
 to train children to a joyous          
observance of the ,lord's day1 to a     
joyous looking forward to its coming1   
and to a joyous looking back upon  its  
memories1 is a weightier question1 with 
thoughtful and intelligent  ,christian  
parents1 than how to conform the conduct
 of children to the  traditional ideas  
of legitimate ,sabbath observance4 ,an  
utter disregard  of the ,sabbath in the 
training of children is a great wrong2  
but even a  greater wrong than this is  

the training of children to count the   
,lord's  day a day of irksome constraint
 instead of a delight4    ,as a child's 
occupation on other days of the week is 
different from  the occupation of his   
parents1 so a child's occupation on the 
,lord's  day ought to be different from 
his parents' occupation on that day4 ,it
  would be cruel1 indeed1 to insist that
 on the ,lord's day alone a child       
should be forced to do the same things  
that his parents do1 and that so  that  
day above all others should be a day of 
toil and of discomfort to  a child4 ,for
 parent and for child alike1 the ,lord's
 day should be a day  of rest and of    
worship2 but neither for parent nor for 
child is simple  inaction rest2 nor is  
hard ,bible-study1 or merely sitting    
still in  church-time1 worship4 ,rest is
 to be secured by a change of           
occupation1  and worship is to be       
performed by turning the thoughts       
,god-ward4 ,how to  help children to    
refreshing rest and to joyous worship on

 the ,lord's  day1 is the practical     
matter at issue4    ,to bring a child   
into habits of loving and reverent      
,sabbath observance  is a matter of     
training2 and that training ought to    
begin at a very  early age of the child1
 and continue throughout the years of   
his  childhood4 ,long before a child can
 know what is the distinctive idea  of  
the ,sabbath1 or why it is to be        
observed in a manner peculiar  to       
itself1 he can be trained to perceive   
that one day in seven is  different from
 the other six days1 and that its       
standard is higher and  its spirit more 
joyous2 that its tone is quieter1 and   
its atmosphere  more reverent4 ,and all 
this ought to be secured to every child 
in a  ,christian home1 from the very    
outset of the child's training to its   
close4 ,even a dog1 or a horse1 or an   
ox1 learns to know and to prize  some of
 the privileges and enjoyments of the   
,sabbath2 and an infant  in arms is as  
capable as one of the brutes of         

receiving an impression  of truth in    
this realm of fact and sentiment4 ,but  
in the case of the  infant or of the    
brute everything depends upon those     
persons who have  it in training4    ,a 
common cause of trouble in this matter  
is1 that the training does  not begin   
early enough4 ,a child is permitted to  
go on for months1 if  not for years1    
without any direct suggestion of a      
difference between  the ,lord's day and 
other days of the week2 and when the    
first attempt  is made to show him that 
such a difference ought to be           
recognized1 he  is already fixed in     
habits which stand in the way of this   
recognition1  so that the new call on   
him breaks in unpleasantly upon his     
course  of favorite infantile action4   
,yet it ought to be so that a child's   
earliest consciousness of life is linked
 with the evidences of the  greater     
light and joy and peace of the day that 
is above other days of  the week1 in his
 nursery experiences1 and that his      

earliest habits are  in the line of such
 a distinction as this4 ,and thus it can
 be4    ,it is for the parents to make  
clear the distinction that marks1 in the
  child's mind1 the ,lord's day as the  
day of days in the week's history4  ,the
 child may be differently dressed1 or   
differently washed1 or  differently     
handled1 on that day from any other4    
,some more disagreeable  detail of his  
morning toilet1 or of his day's         
management1 might on that  day be       
omitted1 as a means of marking the day4 
,there may be a sweeter  song sung in   
his hearing1 or a brighter exhibit of   
some kind made in  his sight1 or a      
peculiar favor of some sort granted to  
him1 which links  a special joy with    
that day in comparison with the days on 
either side  of it4 ,as soon as the     
child is old enough to grasp a rattle or
 to play  with a toy1 there ought to be 
a difference between his ,sabbath rattle
  or other toy1 and his week-day        
delights in the same line4 ,by one means

  or another he should have the ,lord's 
day to look back upon as his  brightest 
memory1 and to look forward to as his   
fondest anticipation4  ,and in this way 
he can be trained to enjoy the ,lord's  
day1 even before  he can know why it is 
made a joy to him4 ,a child is well     
started in the  line of wise training   
when he is carried along as far as this4
    ,when the anniversary of a child's  
birthday comes around1 a loving  parent 
is likely to emphasize and illustrate to
 the child the parental  love which     
should make that season a season of     
gladness and joy to the  child4 ,special
 gifts or special favors are bestowed on
 the child at  such a time1 so that the 
child shall be sure to welcome each     
successive  return of his birthday      
anniversary4 ,so1 again1 when the       
,christmas  anniversary has come1 the   
,christian parent sees to it that the   
child  has a cause of delight in the    
enjoyments and possessions it brings4   
,it is not that the parents are lacking 

in love at other times2 but  it is that 
the child shall have fresh reminders1 at
 these anniversary  seasons1 of that    
love which is unfailing throughout the  
year4 ,so it  ought to be1 in the effort
 to make clear and prominent1 on the    
return  of each ,lord's day1 the love of
 ,god which is the same at one time as  
at  another4 ,as the parents will       
treasure little gifts as loving         
surprises  for their children on the    
birthday and the ,christmas anniversary1
  so the parents ought to plan to make  
each new ,lord's day a better1  brighter
 day than any other of the week2 and to 
this end the best  things for the       
child's enjoyment may well be kept back 
until then1 as a  help to this uplifting
 of the delights of the day above the   
week-days'  highest level4    ,it is    
customary to keep a child's best        
clothing for use on the ,lord's  day4   
,it might well1 also1 be customary to   
keep a child's best toys1  best         
pictures1 best books1 best enjoyments1  

for a place in the same day  of days in 
the week's round4 ,this is a custom in  
many a well-ordered  ,christian home1   
and the advantages of it are apparent   
there4    ,the ,sabbath closet1 or      
,sabbath cabinet1 or ,sabbath drawer1   
ought to be  a treasure-house of        
delights in every ,christian home2 not  
to be opened  except on the ,lord's day1
 and sure to bring added enjoyment when 
it is  opened in the children's sight4  
,in that treasure-house there may be    
bright colored pictures of ,bible       
scenes2 ,sunday-school papers2 books  of
 stories which are suitable and         
attractive above others for ,sabbath    
reading2 dissected maps of ,bible lands1
 or dissected pages of ,bible  texts1 of
 the ,lord's ,prayer1 or of the         
,apostles' ,creed2 models of the        
,tabernacle1 or of ,noah's ,ark and its 
inmates4 ,whatever is there1 ought      
resolutely to be kept there at all other
 times than on the ,lord's  day4        
,however much the children may long for 

the contents of that  treasure-house1   
between ,sabbaths1 they ought to find it
 impossible to  have a view of them     
until that day of days has come round   
again4 ,the  use of these things should 
be associated inseparably1 in the       
children's  minds1 with the ,lord's day 
and its privileges1 and so should help  
to  make that day a delight1 as a day of
 ,god's choicest gifts to those  whom   
,god loves and who love him4 ,by such   
means the very plays or  recreations of 
the children may be made as truly a     
means of rest and of  worship on the    
children's part as are the labors of the
 parents1 in the  line of ,bible study  
or of ,sunday-school teaching1 a means  
of ,sabbath  rest and of ,sabbath       
worship to them on each recurring       
,lord's day4    ,even for the youngest  
children there may be a touch of        
,sabbath  enjoyment in a piece of       
,sabbath confectionery1 or of ,sabbath  
cake1 of  a sort allowed them at no     
other time4 ,there are little ones who  

are  not permitted to have candy freely 
at their own homes1 but who are         
privileged to have a choice bit of this 
at their grandmother's1 where  they     
visit1 after ,sunday-school1 on every   
,lord's day4 ,and there are  grown-up   
children who remember pleasantly that   
when they were very  little ones they   
were permitted to have a make-believe   
,sabbath visit  together in their happy 
home1 with a table spread with tiny     
dishes of  an attractive appearance1    
which they never saw except on the      
,lord's  day4 ,there are others who     
remember with what delight they were    
accustomed1 while children1 after a     
certain age1 to sit up and have a  place
 at the family table at tea-time1 on    
,sundays2 although on other  days they  
must be in bed before that hour4    ,if1
 indeed1 the ,lord's day is1 in any such
 way1 made a day of peculiar  delight to
 children1 with the understanding on    
their part--as they come  to years of   
understanding--that this is because the 

day is peculiarly  the ,lord's day1     
there is a gain to them1 so far1 in the 
,lord's plan of  the ,sabbath for man's 
welfare in the loving service of the    
loving ,god4  ,but if1 on the other     
hand1 the first impressions in the      
children's mind  concerning this day of 
days are1 that it is a day of harsh     
prohibitions  and of dreariness and     
discomfort1 there is so far a           
dishonoring in  their minds of the day  
and of ,him whose day it is2 and for    
this result  their unwise parents are1  
of course1 responsible4    ,as children 
grow older1 and are capable of          
comprehending more fully the  spiritual 
meanings and privileges and             
possibilities of the ,sabbath1  they    
need more help from their parents1--not 
less help1 but more1--in  order to their
 wise use of the day1 and to the gaining
 of its greatest  advantages4 ,the hour 
of family worship ought to have more in 
it on the  ,lord's day than on any other
 day of the week4 ,its exercises should 

be  ampler and more varied4 ,either at  
that hour1 or at some other1 the        
,sunday-school lesson for the week      
should be taken up and studied by       
parents and children together4    ,there
 are homes where the children have a    
,sunday-school of their own1  at a      
convenient hour of the day1 in the      
family room1 led by father  or mother1  
or by older brother or sister1 with the 
help of maps and  blackboard1 or slates4
 ,there are other homes in which the    
father leads  a children's service of   
worship1 in the early evening1 and reads
 a  little sermon from some one of the  
many published volumes of sermons  for  
children4 ,wherever either of these     
plans is adopted1 there should  be a    
part for each of the children1 not only 
in the singing and  reading1 but in     
asking and answering questions4         
,apart from such formal exercises as    
these1 one child can be showing  and    
explaining a book of ,bible pictures or 
of ,scripture cards to  younger         

children2 or one group of children can  
be picking out ,bible  places or ,bible 
persons from their recent lessons and   
arranging them  alphabetically on slates
 or on slips of paper1 while another    
group is  studying out some of the many 
,bible puzzles or curious ,bible        
questions  which are published so freely
 for such a purpose4 ,variety in methods
 is  desirable from week to week1 and   
variety is practicable4    ,the singing 
of fitting and attractive songs of joy  
and praise will  naturally have larger  
prominence1 at the hours of family      
worship1 and  at other hours of the day 
and evening1 on the ,lord's day1 than on
  other days of the week4 ,and parents  
ought to find time on the ,lord's  day  
to read aloud to their children1 or to  
tell them1 stories suited  to their     
needs1 as well as to lead in familiar   
conversation with them4  ,for this mode 
of training there can be no satisfactory
 substitute4 ,of  course1 it takes time1
 and it calls for courage1 for high     

resolve1 or  self-denial1 and for faith4
 ,but it is worth more than all it      
costs4    ,all this is apart from the   
question of the attendance and duties   
of the little ones at the ,sunday-school
 or at the place of public  worship4    
,when a child is of suitable age to have
 an intelligent part  in the exercises  
of the ,sunday-school1 he should be     
helped to find  those exercises a means 
of sacred enjoyment4 ,when1 at a later  
day1 he  is old enough to be at the     
general service of worship without undue
  weariness1 it is the duty of the      
parents to make that place a place of   
gladsomeness to him1 as often as he is  
found there4 ,not wearisomeness1  but   
rest1 is appropriate to the holiest     
,sabbath services of the ,lord's  day4  
,not deepened shadow1 but clearer       
sunlight1 is fitting to its  sacred     
hours4    ,the spirit of the entire     
day's observances ought to be a reverent
  spirit2 but it should be understood by
 the parents that true reverence  is    

better shown in gladness than in gloom4 
,where the ,lord's day is  counted a    
dismal one by the children1 it is       
obvious that the parents  have failed to
 train their children to hallow that    
day1 as the day  which is peculiarly    
sacred to the love of their loving      
,father in  heaven4 ,whether at home1 or
 at ,sunday-school or any other church  
service1 the children should be helped  
to realize that the day is a day  of    
brightness and of cheer2 that while     
differing in its occupations  and       
enjoyments from all other days1 it is   
the best of them all4 ,when  a little   
boy1 out of a home thus ordered1 heard  
one of his companions  express1 on      
,sunday1 a wish that it was already     
,monday1 the little  fellow said1 with  
evident heartiness1 8,why6 don't you    
like ,sunday8  ,i like it best of all   
the days40 ,and so it ought to be in the
 case of  every boy and girl in a       
,christian home4    ,the difference is  
not in the children1 but in the mode of 

their  training1 when in one home the   
,sabbath is welcomed and in another home
  it is dreaded by the little ones4     
,such a difference ought not to exist4  
,by one means or another1 or by one     
means and another1 all children  ought  
to be trained to find the ,lord's day a 
day of delight in the  ,lord's service2 
and parents ought to see to it that     
their children1  if not others1 are thus
 trained4 ,it can be so2 it should be   
so4          ,,xvi4    ,,training ,a    
,,child ,,in ,,amusements4              
,amusements properly belong to children4
 ,a child needs to be amused  while he  
is a child1 and because he is a child4  
,it may be a question  whether a        
grown-up person1 of average intelligence
 and of tolerable  moral worth1 does    
really need amusements1 however much he 
may need  diversion or recreation within
 due limits2 but there can be no fair   
question as to the need of amusements   
for a child4 ,and if a child has  need  
of amusements1 he has need to be trained

 in his choice and use of  amusements4  
,how to amuse a child wisely and with   
effectiveness1 is a practical  question 
with a nurse or loving parent1 from the 
time that the little  babe first begins 
to look up with interest at a ball or a 
trinket  swung before his eyes just out 
of reach of his uplifted hands1 or to   
look and listen as a toy rattle is      
shaken above him1--all the way along    
until he is old enough to choose his own
 methods of diversion and  recreation4  
,and on the answering of this question  
much depends for the  child's character 
and happiness2 for amusements have their
 influence in  shaping a child's        
estimates of life and its purposes1 and 
in fitting or  unfitting him for the    
duties he has to perform in life4       
,there is a wide range in a child's     
amusements2 in their nature1 in  their  
tendency1 and in the companionships     
which accompany them4 ,the  differences 
between some of these which may seem but
 slight at the  start1 involve          

differences of principle as well as of  
method2 and they  need to be looked at  
in view of their probable outcome1      
rather than as  they present themselves 
just now to the surface observer4       
,indeed1 it  is the looking for the     
underlying principle in the             
attractiveness of a  given form of      
amusement1 and for the obvious trend of 
its influence1  that is the primary duty
 of a parent who would train his        
children  wisely in their amusements1   
from the earliest beginning of effort to
  amuse those children4    ,the center  
of companionships in a child's          
amusements ought to be the  parents     
themselves4 ,in the nature of things it 
is impossible for the  parents to be a  
child's only companions in this line1 or
 to be always  his companions2 but      
parents ought1 in some way and at some  
time1 to  evidence such an interest in  
their every child's amusements that he  
will feel that he is as close to his    
parents1 and that his parents are  as   

much to him1 in this thing as in any    
other4 ,if1 indeed1 a child had  no     
companionship with his parents in his   
amusements1 there would be  reared a sad
 barrier between him and his parents in 
that sphere of his  life which is       
largest and most attractive while he is 
at an age to be  most impressible4      
8,one of the first duties of a genuinely
 ,christian parent10 says  ,bushnell1   
8is to show a generous sympathy with the
 plays of his  children2 providing      
playthings and means of play1 inviting  
suitable  companions for them1 and      
requiring them to have it as one of     
their  pleasures1 to keep such          
companions entertained in their plays1  
instead  of playing always for their own
 mere self-pleasing4 ,sometimes1 too1   
the parent having a hearty interest in  
the plays of his children1 will  drop   
out for the time the sense of his years1
 and go into the frolic of  their mood  
with them4 ,they will enjoy no other    
time so much as that1  and it will have 

the effect to make the authority1 so far
 unbent1 just  as much stronger and more
 welcome1 as it has brought itself      
closer to  them1 and given them a more  
complete show of sympathy40    ,a true  
mother will naturally incline to show a 
hearty interest in her  child's         
amusements1 and she ought to encourage  
herself to feel that the  time taken for
 this exhibit of her loving sympathy    
with him is by no  means lost time4 ,it 
may be harder for the father1 than for  
the mother1  to give the time or to show
 the interest essential to this duty2   
but he  ought to secure the benefit of  
it in some way4 ,a few minutes given to 
the little ones1 as they are privileged 
to clamber into the father's  bed before
 he is up in the morning1 and romp with 
them there1 will do  much to connect him
 pleasantly with their play-time4 ,so1  
again1 will a  brief season at the close
 of the day1 when he becomes acquainted 
with  their special amusements1 and     
shows that they are much to him1 because

  they are much to his dear ones4    ,no
 companionship should be permitted to a 
child in his amusements that  is likely 
to lower his moral tone1 or to vitiate  
his moral taste4 ,there  are cases in   
which a parent is tempted to allow his  
children to be  taken into a portion of 
the home establishment1 or of the       
immediate  neighborhood1 in order that  
they may be amused by or with the       
children  or the grown persons there1   
when he would be unwilling to have them 
under such influences or in such        
surroundings for any other purpose4     
,this is a great mistake4 ,the          
companionships of a child in the stable 
or  at the street corner1 while he is   
merely being amused1 are likely to  be  
quite as potent and pervasive as those  
which are around him in the  parlor or  
the dining-room1 at a time when his     
nature is not so actively  and freely at
 its fullest play4 ,in fact1 the        
companionships which  accompany a       
child's amusements are an important     

feature in the training  forces of this 
sphere4    ,amusements may be1 and ought
 to be1 such as will aid in developing  
and  upbuilding a child's manliness or  
womanliness4 ,again1 they may be such   
as will prove an injury to the tastes   
and character of the child4 ,even  the  
simplest forms of amusement may have in 
them the one or the other  of these     
tendencies4 ,a child's earlier          
playthings and games may have  much to  
do with training his eye and ear and    
hand and voice and bodily  movements4   
,they ought all to be watched and shaped
 accordingly4 ,this  truth is the       
fundamental one in the kindergarten     
system2 and a study  of the methods of  
that system may be of service to a      
parent who would  learn how to guide a  
child in his amusements in this         
direction4    ,peculiarly is it         
important that a child's amusements     
should not have  in them any element of 
chance1 as tending to give him the idea 
that  his attainments or progress in    

life will depend in any measure upon    
8luck40 ,from his play with             
building-blocks or with jack-straws1 up 
to  his games of ball or of chess1 every
 movement that a child is called on  to 
make in the sphere of his amusements    
ought to be one in which his  success or
 his failure is dependent on his skill  
or his lack of it4 ,a  child may be     
harmed for life by the conviction that  
his hope of success  in the world rests 
on that 8streak of luck0 which seemed to
 be his in  the games of chance he      
played in boyhood4 ,and a child may be  
helped for  life by the character which 
was developed in him in his boyhood's   
games  of skill4 ,it was an illustration
 of this principle1 when the ,duke of   
,wellington pointed to the playground of
 ,eton1 and said1 8,it was there  that  
the battle of ,waterloo was won40       
,children's amusements should be such as
 do not of themselves involve  late     
hours1 or tend directly to the premature
 developing of their young  natures4    

,they should not be such as are likely  
to become permanent  occupations rather 
than temporary amusements2 such as gain 
a stronger  and stronger hold with the  
passing years instead of being outgrown 
with childhood2 or such as open the way 
to the child's becoming a  professional 
amusement-maker4 ,they should be such as
 will have a  centripetal rather than a 
centrifugal force1 as related to the    
home  circle4    ,it ought to be so1 in 
every well-ordered home1 that a child   
can find  more pleasure at home than    
away from home2 and this state of things
  will depend very much upon the kind of
 amusements that are secured  in a      
child's home4 ,it is not enough that    
there be amusements at the  home1 but   
the amusements there must be those that 
cannot be engaged in  elsewhere as well 
as there4 ,many a parent makes the      
mistake of trying  to keep his children 
at home by introducing amusements there 
that  arouse in the children a desire to
 go elsewhere for something of the  same

 sort in greater freshness or variety4  
,but wiser parents secure to  their     
children such home amusements as cannot 
be indulged in to the  same advantage   
outside of that home4    ,a child may   
have such a 8baby-house10 such a        
collection of dolls and  doll-furniture1
 such a 8playcloset10 such a store of   
building-blocks  and mechanical toys1   
such a cellar or such a garret1 in his  
or her  own home1 as cannot be found in 
any other home4 ,to be at home with     
these will be more attractive than to be
 in another home without  them4 ,there  
may be such an interest excited in      
scrap-book making1 in  picture-painting1
 in candy-making1 with the advantages   
for carrying it  on1 at the child's     
home1 that to go away from home would be
 a loss1 so  far1 instead of a gain4    
,singing and music may be such a feature
 in the  home life that the loss of it  
will be felt outside of that home4 ,so  
it  may be with those social games that 
involve a measure of intelligence  and  

information not to be found in ordinary 
homes elsewhere4 ,all such  amusements  
partake of the centripetal rather than  
the centrifugal  force1 as related to   
the children's home2 and they have their
 advantage  accordingly4 ,it is for the 
parents to secure these for the         
children1 or  to incur the penalty of   
their lack4    ,children will have      
amusements1 whether their parents choose
 their  amusements for them1 or leave   
the children to choose them for         
themselves4 ,the amusements of children 
will tend to the gain or to the  loss of
 the children4 ,it is for parents to    
decide whether the children  shall be   
left to choose their own amusements1    
with the probability of  their choosing 
to their own harm2 or whether the       
parents shall choose  helpful amusements
 for their children1 and shall make     
these amusements  more attractive than  
the harmful ones4 ,the result of this   
choice is  an important one to the      
parents1 and a yet more important one to

 the  children4          ,,xvii4        
,,training ,a ,,child ,,to ,,courtesy4  
,unless a man is courteous toward       
others1 he is at a disadvantage in  the 
world1 even though he be the possessor  
of every other good trait  and quality  
possible to humanity1 and of every      
material1 mental1 and  spiritual        
acquisition which can belong to mere    
man4 ,and if a man be  marked by        
exceptional courtesy in all his         
intercourse with others1 he  has an     
advantage to start with in the struggle 
of life1 beyond all that  could be his  
in health and wealth and wisdom without 
courtesy4 ,yet  courtesy is never wholly
 a natural quality4 ,it is always a     
result of  training2 albeit the training
 will be far easier in one case than in 
another4    ,courtesy is the external   
manifestation of a right spirit toward  
others4  ,its basis is in an unselfish  
and a fitting regard for the rights and 
feelings of those with whom one is      
brought into intercourse2 but the       

principles of its expression must be a  
matter of wise study on the  part of    
those who have had experience in the    
ways of the world1 and  who would give  
the benefit of their experience to those
 who come after  them4 ,courtesy is not 
merely a surface finish of manners2     
although  courtesy is sure to show      
itself in a finished surface of manners4
 ,good  breeding1 politeness1 and fine  
manners1 are all included in the term   
8courtesy20 but these all are the       
expression of courtesy1 rather than  its
 essence and inspiration4 8,good        
breeding10 says one1 8is made up of  a  
multitude of petty sacrifices40 8,true  
politeness10 says another1 8is  the     
spirit of benevolence showing itself in 
a refined way4 ,it is the  expression of
 good-will and kindness40 ,fine manners1
 ,de ,quincey says1  consist 8in two    
capital features3 first of all1 respect 
of others2  secondly1 in self-respect40 
,the courteous man is sure not to be    
lacking in self-respect1 but he  is sure

 to be lacking in self-assertion4 ,his  
self-respect is shown in  his sense of a
 responsibility for the comfort and     
welfare of others2  and his unselfish   
interest in others causes him to lose   
all thought of  himself in his effort to
 discharge his responsibility toward    
others4  ,his courtesy will be evidenced
 in what he is ready to do for others1  
rather than in what he seems to look for
 from others4    ,attractiveness of     
personal appearance1 gracefulness in    
bearing1  tastefulness in dress1        
elegance in manners1 and carefulness in 
word  and tone of voice1 may1 indeed1   
all be found where there is no true     
courtesy4 ,the very purpose on the part 
of their possessor to be thought        
courteous1 to command respect1 and to   
appear to advantage1 may cause  him or  
her to show a lack of courtesy1 to fail 
of commanding respect1  and to appear   
far otherwise than advantageously4 ,on  
the other hand1  there are1 for example1
 ladies whose attractions of face and   

form  are but slight1 who care little   
for dress1 who pay no attention to  mere
 manners1 who are yet so unselfishly    
thoughtful of others1 in all  their     
intercourse with them1 that they are    
called 8just delightful0  by everybody  
who knows them4 ,when they have callers1
 or when they are  making calls1 they   
have absolutely no thought about        
themselves1 their  appearance1 their    
modes of expression1 or the impression  
they may make  on others4 ,they are for 
the time being absolutely given up to   
those  with whom they converse4 ,they   
question and listen with enthusiastic   
interest2 they say kindly words because 
they feel kindly2 they avoid  unpleasant
 subjects of mention1 and they introduce
 topics that cannot  but be welcome4    
,because they keep self out of sight1   
they win respect1  admiration1 and      
affection1 beyond all that they would   
dare hope for4  ,and many a man shows a 
similar self-forgetfulness in his       
courteous  interest in others1 and wins 

a loving recognition of his courtesy on 
every side4 ,real courtesy is1 however1 
impossible1 in either sex1  except where
 self is practically lost sight of4     
,in training a child to courtesy1 it is 
of little use to tell him  to be        
forgetful of himself2 but it is of value
 to tell him to be  thoughtful of       
others4 ,the more a person tries to     
forget himself1 the  surer he will be to
 think of himself4 ,often1 indeed1 it is
 the very  effort of a person to forget 
himself1 that makes that person         
painfully  self-conscious1 and causes   
him to seem bashful and embarrassed4    
,but  when a child thinks of others1 his
 thoughts go away from himself1 and     
self-forgetfulness is a result1 rather  
than a cause1 of his action4    ,to tell
 a young person to enter a full room    
without any show of  embarrassment1 or  
thought of himself1 is to put a barrier 
in the way  of his being self-possessed 
through self-forgetfulness4 ,but to send
 a  young person into a full room with a

 life-and-death message to some one     
already there1 is to cause him to forget
 himself through filling him  with      
thought of another4 ,and this           
distinction in methods of training  is  
one to be borne in mind in all endeavors
 at training children to  courtesy4     
,in order to be courteous1 a child must 
have a care to give due  deference to   
others1 in his ordinary salutations and 
greetings1 and in  his expression of    
thanks for every kindness or attention  
shown to him4  ,so far most parents1 who
 give any thought to a matter like this1
 are  ready to go4 ,but true courtesy   
includes a great deal more than this2   
and a child needs training accordingly4 
,many a boy who is careful to give a    
respectful greeting to his  superiors on
 the street1 or in the house1 and who   
never fails to  proffer thanks for any  
special favor shown to him1 lacks       
greatly in  courtesy in his ordinary    
intercourse with others1 because he has 
not  been trained to feel and to show an

 unselfish interest in those with  whom 
he is brought face to face4 ,such a boy 
is more ready to talk of  himself1 and  
of that which has a personal interest to
 him1 than to find  out what has an     
interest to others1 and to make himself 
interested  in that1 or to express his  
interest in it if he already feels such 
an interest4 ,if1 indeed1 from any      
reason1 he finds himself unable to  talk
 freely of that which immediately       
concerns him1 he is often at a  loss for
 a topic of conversation1 and is liable 
to show awkwardness  and embarrassment  
in consequence4 ,and so while courteous 
at points of  conventional etiquette1 a 
boy of this sort is constantly          
exhibiting  his lack of courtesy4       
,this liability of a child must be borne
 in mind by his parents in  his         
training1 and it must be guarded against
 by wise counsel and by  watchful       
inquiry on their part4 ,when a child has
 a playmate with him  in his home1 he   
must be trained to make it his first    

business to find  out what that playmate
 would enjoy1 and to shape his own words
 and ways  in conformity with that      
standard1 for the time being4 ,when a   
child  is going into another home1 he   
must be told in advance of his duty  to 
be a sharer with those whom he meets    
there1 in their employments  and        
pleasures1 and to express heartily his  
sense of enjoyment in that  which       
pleases them4 ,when he returns from a   
visit from another home1 he  should be  
asked to tell what he found of interest 
there1 and what he  said about it while 
there2 and he should be commended or    
counseled in  proportion to his         
well-doing or his lack in his exhibit of
 courtesy in  this connection4 ,when he 
has been talking with an older person1  
in  his own home or abroad1 his parents 
ought to ascertain just how far  he has 
been lacking in courtesy by putting     
himself forward unduly1 or  how far he  
has shown courtesy by having and        
evidencing an interest in  that which   

was said to him or done for him by his  
superior2 and kindly  comment on his    
course should be given to him by his    
parents at such a  time4    ,if1 indeed1
 a child has shown any lack of courtesy 
toward another1  whether a person of his
 own age or older1 he should be         
instructed to  be frank and outspoken in
 expression of his regret for his       
course1 and  of his desire to be        
forgiven for his fault4 ,true courtesy  
involves a  readiness to apologize for  
any and every failure1 whether          
intentional  or unintentional1 to do or 
say just that which ought to have been  
done  or said2 and the habit of frank   
apologizing is acquired by a child  only
 through his careful training in that   
direction4 ,he who has any  reluctance  
to proffer apologies on even the        
slightest cause for them1  is sadly     
lacking in the spirit of courtesy2 for  
just so far as one is  thoughtfully     
considerate of the feelings of another  
will he want to  express his regret that

 any performance or failure on his part 
has been  a cause of discomfort to      
another4    ,all this is1 of course1 a  
trying matter to a child1 and a taxing  
matter  to a parent2 but it is to the   
obvious advantage of both parties4 ,if a
  child is seen to be lacking in        
courtesy1 his parents are understood to 
be at fault in his training1 so far4    
,if1 on the other hand1 a child is  not 
trained to courtesy while a child1 he is
 at a disadvantage from  his lack of    
training1 as long as he lives4 ,if he   
has not been trained  to give others the
 first place in his thoughts while he is
 with them1  and to give open expression
 to all the interest in them which he   
really has1 he cannot be free and       
unembarrassed in conversation with  any 
and all whom he meets4 ,if1 on the other
 hand1 he has had wise and  careful     
training in this direction1 he is sure  
to be as pleasing as he  is courteous to
 others2 and to receive as much         
enjoyment as he gives1  through his     

courtesy in intercourse with all whom he
 meets4    ,personal embarrassment in   
the presence of others1 and a lack of   
freedom  in the expression of one's     
interest in others1 are generally the   
result  of an undue absorption in one's 
own interests or appearance1 and of     
one's lack of self-forgetful interest in
 the words and ways and needs  of those 
whom he is summoned to meet4 ,the surest
 protection of one's  children against  
these misfortunes1 is by the wise       
training of those  children to have an  
interest in others1 and to give         
expression to that  interest1 whenever  
they are with others1 at home or abroad2
 and so to  be courteous and to show    
their courtesy as a result of such      
training4          ,,xviii4             
,,cultivating ,a ,,child',s ,,taste ,,in
 ,,reading4      8,reading is to the    
mind what exercise is to the body10 says
 ,addison4  8,as1 by the one1 health is 
preserved1 strengthened1 and            
invigorated2  by the other1 virtue      

7which is the health of the mind7 is    
kept alive1  cherished1 and confirmed40 
,and ,dr4 ,johnson adds1 8,the          
foundation of  knowledge must be laid by
 reading40    ,but there is reading1 and
 reading2 there is reading that         
debilitates  and debases the mind2 as   
there is reading that strengthens and   
invigorates it4 ,there is reading that  
forms the basis of knowledge1  and there
 is reading that lessens the reader's   
desire for knowledge4 ,a  love of       
reading is an acquired taste1 not an    
instinctive preference4  ,the habit of  
reading is formed in childhood2 and a   
child's taste in  reading is formed in  
the right direction or in the wrong one 
while  he is under the influence of his 
parents2 and they are directly          
responsible for the shaping and         
cultivating of that taste4    ,a child  
ought to read books that are helpful to 
his growth in character  and in         
knowledge2 and a child ought to love to 
read these books4 ,a  child will love to

 read such books as his parents train1  
or permit1  him to find pleasure in     
reading4 ,it is the parent who settles  
this  question--by action or by         
inaction4 ,it is the child who reaps the
  consequences of his parents' fidelity 
or lack in this sphere4    ,of course1  
it is not to be understood that a child 
is to read1 and to  love to read1 only  
those books which add to his stock of   
knowledge1  or which immediately tend to
 the improvement of his morals2 for     
there  is as legitimate a place for     
amusement and for the lighter play of   
imagination in a child's reading1 as    
there is for recreation and  laughter in
 the sphere of his physical training4   
,as one of the fathers  of ,english     
poetry has told us1      8,books should 
to one of these four ends conduce1      
,for wisdom1 piety1 delight1 or use20   
and that reading which conduces merely  
to 8delight0 for the time being1  has   
its essential part in the formation of a
 character that includes  wisdom and    

piety and useful knowledge4 ,but it is  
to be understood that  no child should  
be left to read only those books to     
which his untutored  tastes naturally   
incline him2 nor should he be made to   
read other books  simply as a dry task4 
,his taste for instructive books as well
 as for  amusing ones should be so      
cultivated by the judicious and         
persistent  endeavors of his parents1   
that he will find enjoyment in the one  
class  as truly as in the other4        
8,nonsense songs0 and the rhymes of     
8,mother ,goose0 are not to be          
undervalued1 in their place1 as a means 
of amusement and of attraction  in the  
direction of a child's earliest reading4
 ,their mission in  this realm is as    
real as that of the toy rattle in the   
education of a  child's ear1 or the     
dancing-jack in the training of his eye4
 ,but these  helps to amusement are to  
be looked upon only as aids toward      
something  better2 not as in themselves 
sufficient to an end4 ,so1 also1 it is  

with  the better class of fairy tales4  
,they meet a want in a child's mind  in 
the developing and exercising of his    
imagination2 and he who has  never read 
them will inevitably lack something of  
that incitement and  enjoyment in the   
realm of fancy which they supply so     
liberally4 ,but it  is only a beginning 
of good work in the sphere of a child's 
reading1  when he has found that there  
is amusement there together with food   
for  his imagination and fancy4 ,and it 
is for the parent to see that the  work 
thus begun does not stop at its         
beginning4    ,there is a place for     
fiction in the matter of a child's      
reading4  ,good impressions can be made 
on a child's mind1 and his feelings  can
 be swayed in the direction of the      
right1 by means of a story  that is     
fictitious without being false4 ,and    
thus it is that the  average            
,sunday-school library book has its     
mission in the work of  child-training4 
,but fiction ought not to be the chief  

factor in any  child's reading1 nor can 
influence and impressions take the place
  of instruction and information in the 
proper filling of his mind's            
treasure-chambers4 ,even if a child were
 to read only the best religious        
8story-books0 which the world's         
literature proffers to him1 this        
reading by itself would not tend to the 
development of his highest  mental      
faculties1 or to the fostering of his   
truest manhood4 ,unless  he reads also  
that which adds to his stock of         
knowledge1 and which  gives him a fresh 
interest in the events and personages of
 the world's  history1 a child cannot   
obey the ,divine injunction to grow in  
knowledge  as well as in grace1 and he  
will be the loser by his lack4    ,that 
a child is inclined by nature to prefer 
an amusing or an exciting  story-book to
 a book of straightforward fact1        
everybody knows4 ,but that  is no reason
 why a child should follow his own      
unguided tastes in the  matter of       

reading1 any more than he should be     
permitted to indulge at  all times his  
preference1 in the realm of appetite1   
for sweet cakes  instead of bread and   
butter1 or for candies rather than meat 
and  potatoes4 8,a child left to himself
 causeth shame to his mother10--and     
dishonor to himself1 in one sphere of   
action as in another2 and unless  a     
parent cultivates a taste for right     
reading of every sort on a  child's     
part1 that child can never be at his    
best in the world1 nor  can his parents 
have such delight in his attainments as 
otherwise they  might have4    ,a wise  
parent can train his children to an     
interest in any book in  which they     
ought to be interested4 ,he can         
cultivate in their minds  such a taste  
for books of history1 of biography1 of  
travel1 of popular  science1 and of     
other useful knowledge1 that they will  
find in these  books a higher and more  
satisfying pleasure than is found by    
their  companions in the exciting or    

delusive narrations of fiction and      
fancy4 ,illustrations of this           
possibility are to be seen on every     
side4 ,there are boys and girls of ten  
and twelve years of age whose  chief    
delight in reading is in the realm of   
instructive fact1 and  who count it     
beneath them to take time for the       
reading of fictitious                   
story-books--religious or sensational4  
,and if more parents were wise  and     
faithful in this department of          
child-training1 there would be more     
children with this elevated taste in    
their reading4    ,it is1 however1 by no
 means an easy matter1 even though it be
 a simple  one1 for a parent to         
cultivate wisely the taste of his       
children in  their reading4 ,he must1 to
 begin with1 recognize the importance   
and  magnitude of his work so far1 and  
must give himself to it from the        
earlier years of his children until they
 are well established in the  good      
habits he has aided them to form4 ,he   

must know what books his  children ought
 to read1 and what books ought to be    
kept away from them4  ,then he must set 
himself to make the good books          
attractive to his  children1 while he   
resolutely shuts out from their range of
 reading  those books which are         
pernicious4 ,all this takes time1 and   
thought1 and  patience1 and             
determination1 and intelligent endeavor 
on his part2 but  it is work that is    
remunerative beyond its extremest cost4 
,the exclusion of that which is evil is 
peculiarly important in this  realm of  
effort2 for if a child has once gained a
 love of the exciting  incidents of the 
book of sensational fiction1 it is      
doubly difficult to  win him to a love  
of narrations of sober and instructive  
fact4 ,hence  every parent should see to
 it that his child is permitted no      
indulgence  in the reading of           
high-colored and over-wrought works of  
fiction  presented in the guise of      
truth--with or without a moral2 whether 

they  come in books from a neighbor's   
house1 or as a ,christmas or birthday   
gift from a relative1 or are brought    
from the ,sunday-school library4  ,fairy
 tales are well enough in their time and
 way1 if they are read  as fairy tales1 
and are worth the reading--are the best 
of their kind4  ,fiction has its place  
in a child's reading1 within due bounds 
of  measure and quality4 ,but neither   
fancy nor fiction is to be tolerated  in
 a child's reading in such a form as to 
excite the mind1 or to  vitiate the     
taste of the child4 ,and for the        
limitation of such reading  by a child  
the child's parent must hold himself    
always responsible4 ,no  pains should be
 spared to guard the child from mental  
as well as from  physical poison4       
,keeping bad books away from a child is1
 however1 only one part of  the work to 
be done in the effort at cultivating a  
child's taste in  reading4 ,a child must
 be led to have an intelligent interest 
in books  that are likely to be helpful 

to him2 and this task calls for skill   
and  tact1 as well as patience and      
persistency on the parent's part4 ,good 
books must be looked up by the parent1  
and when they are put into the  child's 
hand it must be with such words of      
commendation and explanation  as to     
awaken in the child's mind a desire to  
become possessed of their  contents4    
,the sex and age and characteristics and
 tendencies of the  child1 as well as   
the circumstances and associations of   
the hour1 must  all be borne in mind in 
the choice and presentation of the book 
or  books for a child's reading2 and a  
due regard to these incidents will  have
 its effect on the mind of the child    
under training4    ,for example1 when   
the ,fourth of ,july is at hand1 or is  
in some way  brought into notice1 then  
is a good time to tell a child briefly  
about  the war of the ,american         
,revolution1 and to give him a book     
about the  ,boys of ,seventy-six4 ,when 
his attention is called to a picture of 

the ,tower of ,london1 he is in a good  
mood to read some of the more           
impressive stories of ,english history4 
,if he is at the seashore1  or among the
 mountains1 on a visit1 he can be shown 
some object of  nature1--a shell or a   
crab1 a rock or a tree1--as a means of  
interesting  him in a little book about 
this or that phase of natural history or
 of  woodcraft4    ,a child's question  
about ,jerusalem1 or ,athens1 or ,rome1 
may be improved  to his advantage by    
pointing him to the narrative of the    
,children's  ,crusade1 or to some of the
 collections of classic stories in guise
 for  children4 ,an incidental reference
 to ,africa1 or ,india1 or the ,south   
,sea  ,islands1 may open the way for a  
talk with a child about missions in     
those parts of the world1 and may be    
used to give him an interest in  some of
 the more attractive books in           
description of missionary heroes        
ancient and modern4 ,the every-day      
mentions of men and things may1 each    

and all of them1 in their order1 be     
turned to good account1 as a help  in   
cultivating a taste in reading1 by a    
parent who is alert to make use  of such
 opportunities4    ,a parent ought to be
 constantly on the watch to suggest     
books that  are suitable for his child's
 reading1 and to incite his child to an 
interest in those books4 ,it is a good  
plan to talk with a child in  advance   
about the subject treated in a book1    
which the parent is  disposed to        
commend1 and to tell the child that     
which will tend to  awaken his wish to  
know more about it1 as preparatory to   
handing  the book to him4 ,reading with 
the child1 and questioning the child    
concerning his reading1 will intensify  
the child's interest in his  reading1   
and will promote his enjoyment as he    
reads4    ,and so it is that a child's  
taste in reading will be cultivated     
steadily and effectively in the right   
direction by any parent who is  willing 
to do the work that is needful1 and who 

is able to do it  wisely4 ,a child needs
 help in this sphere1 and he welcomes   
help when  it is brought to him4 ,if the
 help be given him1 he will find        
pleasure  as well as profit in its      
using2 but if he goes on without help1  
he is  liable to go astray1 and to be a 
lifetime sufferer in consequence4       
,,xix4    ,,the ,,value ,,of            
,,table-,,talk4      ,in proportion as  
man rises in the intellectual scale1    
does he give  prominence to mental and  
moral enjoyments in conjunction with his
  daily meals4 ,he who looks upon the   
table merely as a place for feeding  the
 body1 is so far upon the level of the  
lower order of animals4 ,he  who would  
improve his time there for the advantage
 of his mind and  character1 as well as 
for the supply of his physical wants1   
recognizes  a standard of utility in the
 humbler offices of daily life that is  
perceptible only to one whose higher    
nature is always striving for  supremacy
 above the lower4    ,with all the      

tendency to excesses in the line of     
appetite among the  ,greeks and ,romans 
in classic times1 there were even then  
gleams of a  higher enjoyment at the    
table through social intercourse than   
that  which mere eating and drinking    
supplied4 ,when the ,perfect ,man was   
here  among men1 he showed the          
possibility of making the household meal
 a  means of mental and spiritual       
improving2 and there are no profounder  
or more precious truths in the record of
 our ,lord's earthly teachings1  than   
those which are found in his words      
spoken to those who sat with  him eating
 and drinking at their common meal4 ,the
 8table talk0 of  great men has1 for    
centuries1 been recognized as having a  
freeness1 a  simplicity1 and a          
forcefulness1 not to be found in their  
words spoken  elsewhere4    ,there are  
obvious reasons why the social talk at  
daily meals should  possess a value not 
attainable under other circumstances1 in
 the  ordinary ,christian household4    

,just there is the place where all the  
members of the family must be together4 
,however closely and however  diversely 
they may be occupied at other times1    
when the hour for the  household meal   
has arrived1 everything else must be    
dropped by them  all for the one duty of
 eating and drinking2 and they must all 
come  together for that common purpose4 
,in the very nature of things1  too1    
those who have gathered at the family   
table must1 for the time  being1 have   
left all their work behind them1 and be 
in a state of  relaxation and of        
kindlier feeling accordingly4 ,now it   
is1 therefore1  that they are freest to 
speak with one another of matters having
 a  common interest to all1 rather than 
to dwell in absorbed thought on the     
special duties from which they have1    
severally1 turned away1 or toward  which
 they must turn at the meal's close4    
,it is a matter of fact that those who  
sit together at a family table1  whether
 as members of the household or as      

guests there for a season1  learn to    
understand one another1 and to give and 
receive help and  inspiration in their  
social converse1 as they could not      
without the  advantage of this          
distinctive opportunity4 ,it is also a  
fact that only  now and then is there a 
family circle the members of which      
recognize at  the fullest1 and make     
available at the best1 the value of     
table-talk  as a training agency for all
 who have a share in it1 or who are     
under  its immediate influence4 ,yet he 
who would train his children as they    
should be trained1 cannot ignore this   
important training agency without       
serious and permanent loss to them4     
,with family customs as they are in the 
,united ,states1 there is more of  an   
opportunity here than abroad1 for the   
training of children by means  of       
table-talk4 ,in ,england1 and in ,europe
 generally1 young children are  likely  
to be by themselves with nurses or      
governesses1 at meal-time1  rather than 

at the table with their parents4 ,but in
 this country  children are1 as a rule1 
brought to the family table at a very   
early  age1 and are permitted to be     
there not merely while the members of   
the  family are there gathered1 but on  
occasions when a guest is1 for the  time
 being1 made a member of the household  
circle4 ,therefore it is that  an       
important feature of child-training in  
,american families is the  table-talk in
 those families4 ,this feature varies   
much in different  homes2 but at its    
best it is one of the most potent       
factors in the  intellectual and moral  
training of the young4    ,fifty years  
ago a gentleman of ,new ,england had1 as
 a philanthropist1  an educator1 and an 
author1 an exceptional acquaintance with
 men of  prominence in similar fields of
 endeavor in this country and abroad4   
,his home was a place of resort for     
them4 ,he had a large family of         
children1 all of whom were permitted to 
be at the family table while  those     

guests were present1 as well as at other
 times4 ,the table-talk  in that home1  
between the parents and the guests1 or  
between the  parents and their children 
when no guests were present1 was in     
itself  8a liberal education40 ,it gave 
to those children a general knowledge   
such as they could hardly have obtained 
otherwise4 ,it was a source of          
promptings and of inspiration to them in
 a multitude of directions4 ,now  that  
they are themselves parents and         
grandparents1 they perceive how  greatly
 they were the gainers by their training
 through the table-talk  of their early 
home2 and they are doing what they can  
to have the value  of table-talk as a   
training agency for the young recognized
 and made  effective in the homes which 
they direct or influence4    ,in another
 ,new ,england home1 the father was a   
man of quiet  thoughtfulness1 and at    
ordinary times a man of peculiar        
reticence  before his children4 ,but at 
the family table he was accustomed to   

unbend as nowhere else4 ,he1 also1 had a
 large family of children1 and  there   
were frequent visitors among them4 ,the 
utmost freedom of question  and of      
expression was cultivated in the        
table-talk of that home4 ,the  spirited 
discussions carried on there1 between   
father and mother and  children and     
visitors1 were instructive1 suggestive1 
and stimulating1  in a very high degree4
 ,the family table was1 in fact1 the    
intellectual  and moral center of that  
home4 ,no other place was so attractive 
as  that4 ,not a person1 young or old1  
would leave that table until he had  to2
 and now that the survivors of that     
happy circle are scattered  widely1     
every one of them will say that no      
training agency did more for  him in his
 early life than the table-talk of his  
childhood's home4    ,in one home1 where
 parents and children enjoy themselves  
in familiar  and profitable table-talk1 
it is a custom to settle on the spot    
every  question that may be incidentally

 raised as to the pronunciation  or     
meaning of a word1 the date of a        
personage in ancient or modern  history1
 the location of a geographical site1 or
 anything else of that  nature that     
comes into discussion at the family     
table4 ,as an aid to  knowledge in these
 lines1 there stands in a corner of the 
dining-room a  book-rest1 on the top of 
which lies an ,english dictionary1 while
 on the  shelves below are a            
biographical dictionary and a           
pronouncing gazetteer  of the world1    
ready for instant reference in every    
case of dispute or  doubt4    ,at the   
breakfast-table1 in that home1 the      
father runs his eye over  the morning   
paper1 and gives to his family the main 
points of its  news which he deems      
worthy of special note in the family    
circle4 ,the  children there are free to
 tell of what they have studied in      
school1  or to ask about points that    
have been raised by their teachers or   
companions4 ,and in such ways the       

children are trained to an intelligent  
interest in a variety and range of      
subjects that would otherwise be  quite 
beyond their ordinary observation4      
,one father has been accustomed to      
treasure up the best things of his      
experience or studies for each day1 with
 a view to bringing them  attractively  
to the attention of his children at the 
family table1 at  the day's close1 or at
 the next day's beginning4 ,another has 
had the  habit of selecting a special   
topic for conversation at the           
dinner-table  a day in advance1 in order
 that the children may prepare          
themselves1 by  thinking or reading1 for
 a share in the conversation4 ,thus an  
item in  the morning paper may suggest  
an inquiry about ,bismarck1 or          
,gladstone1  or ,parnell1 or ,henry ,m4 
,stanley2 and the father will say1 8,now
 let  us have that man before us for our
 talk to-morrow at dinner4 ,find  out   
all you can about him1 and we will help 
one another to a fuller  knowledge of   

him40 ,in this way the children are     
being trained to an  ever-broadening    
interest in men and things in the       
world's affairs1 and  to methods of     
thought and study in their search for   
knowledge4    ,there is no end to the   
modes of conducting table-talk as a     
means of  child-training2 and there is  
no end to the influence of table-talk in
  this direction1 however conducted4    
,indeed1 it may be said with truth1     
that table-talk is quite as likely to be
 influential as a means of              
child-training when the parents have no 
thought of using it to this  end1 as    
when they seek to use it accordingly4   
,at every family table  there is sure to
 be talking2 and the talk that is heard 
at the family  table is sure to have its
 part in a child's training1 whether the
  parents wish it to be so or not4      
,there are fathers whose table-talk is  
chiefly in complaint of the  family     
cooking1 or in criticism of the mother's
 method of managing  the household4     

,there are mothers who are more given to
 asking where  on earth their children  
learned to talk and act as they do1 than
 to  inquiring in what part of the earth
 the most important archological        
discoveries are just now in progress4   
,and there are still more fathers  and  
mothers whose table-talk is wholly      
between themselves1 except as  they turn
 aside1 occasionally1 to say sharply to 
their little ones1  8,why don't you keep
 still1 children1 while your father and 
mother are  talking80 ,all this         
table-talk has its influence on the     
children4 ,it  leads them to have less  
respect for their parents1 and less     
interest in  the home table except as a 
place of satisfying their natural       
hunger4 ,it  is potent1 even though it  
be not profitable4    ,table-talk ought 
to be such1 in every family1 as to make 
the hour of  home meal-time one of the  
most attractive as well as one of the   
most  beneficial hours of the day to all
 the children4 ,but in order to make    

table-talk valuable1 parents must have  
something to talk about at  the table1  
must be willing to talk about it there1 
and must have the  children lovingly in 
mind as they do their table-talking4    
,,xx4    ,,guiding ,a ,,child ,,in      
,,companionships4      ,a child cannot  
easily go on through childhood without  
companions1 even  if it were desirable  
for him to do so4 ,moreover1 it is not  
desirable  for a child to go on through 
childhood without companions1 even if it
  were every way practicable for him to 
do so4 ,companions are a necessity  to a
 child1 whether the case be looked at in
 the light of the world  as it is1 or in
 the light of the world as it ought to  
be4 ,hence1 as a  child will have       
companions1 and as he needs to have     
them1 it is doubly  important that a    
parent be alive to the importance of    
guiding his every  child in the choice  
of his companions and in his relations  
to those  companions whom he has without
 choosing4    ,no child can be rightly  

trained all by himself1 nor yet wholly  
by  means of those agencies and         
influences that come to him directly    
from above his head4 ,there are forces  
which operate for a child's  training   
through being brought to bear upon him  
laterally rather than  perpendicularly2 
coming in upon him by way of his        
sympathies1 instead  of by way of his   
natural desire for knowledge4 ,there are
 lessons which  a child cannot learn so 
well from an elder teacher above him as 
from a  young teacher alongside of him4 
,there are impulses which can never be  
at their fullest with a child when he is
 alone as a child1 but which  will fill 
and sway him when they are operative    
upon him as one of a  little company of 
children4 ,only as he learns these      
lessons from1 and  receives these       
impulses with1 wisely chosen and fitting
 companions1 can  a child have the      
benefit of them to which he is fairly   
entitled4    ,any observing parent will 
testify that1 on more than one occasion1

  his child has come to him with a new  
interest in a thought or a  theme1      
inspired by the words or example of a   
young companion1 to  the surprise of the
 parent--who had before sought in vain  
to excite  an interest in that very     
direction4 ,all that the parent had said
 on  the subject had been of no value1  
in comparison with that which had  been 
said or done by the child's companion1  
as another self4 ,again1  there are few 
parents who have not found to their     
regret that their  child has received   
lessons and impulses directly opposed to
 all the  parental counsel and purposes1
 through a brief and comparatively      
unnoticed companionship that ought to   
have been guarded against4 ,and  these  
are but illustrations of the instructive
 and swaying power of  child            
companionships4 ,such a power as this   
ought not to be ignored or  slighted by 
any parent who would do most and best   
for his child's wise  training4    ,any 
thoughtful parent will realize that a   

child cannot be trained to  be          
unselfishly considerate of his          
companions2 to bear and forbear with    
companions who are weak or impatient or 
exacting2 to show sympathy with         
companions who need sympathy1 and to    
minister lovingly to companions  who    
deserve a loving ministry1--unless he   
has companions toward whom  he can thus 
exercise and evidence a right spirit at 
all times4 ,and no  parent will say1 or 
think1 that it would be well for a child
 to be  without these elements of       
character-training in his life-progress4
    ,an only child is naturally at a    
disadvantage in his home1 because he is 
an only child4 ,he lacks the lessons    
which playmates there would give  him2  
the impulses and inspirations which he  
would receive from their  fellowship2   
the demands on his better nature1 and   
the calls on his  self-control and      
self-denial1 which would come from their
 requirements4  ,parents who have but   
one child ought to see to it that the   

lack in this  regard is1 in a measure1  
supplied by the companionships of       
children  from other homes4 ,it is1     
indeed1 a mistake for any parent to     
attempt  the training of his child      
without the help of child               
companionships4  ,no child can be so    
inspiringly and symmetrically trained   
without1 as  with1 these4 ,even where   
there are half a dozen or more children 
in one  family1 there is still a need of
 outside companions for each child1 of  
the same age and wants of that child2   
for it is not possible for any  person  
to bring himself into the same relations
 with a child as can be  entered into by
 a child of his own years and           
requirements4    ,because a child's     
companionships are so influential1 it is
 the more  important that they be       
closely watched and carefully guided by 
the  child's parents4 ,in choosing a    
neighborhood--for a residence or  for a 
summer vacation2 in choosing a week-day 
school2 in choosing  a ,sunday-school1  

where a choice is open to the parents1  
the  companionships thus secured to     
their child ought to have prominence  in
 the minds of the parents4 ,and when the
 neighborhood1 and week-day  school1 and
 ,sunday-school1 are finally fixed upon1
 the responsibility  is still upon the  
parent to see to it that the best       
available  companionships there are     
cultivated1 and the most undesirable    
ones are  shunned1 by the child4        
,neglect or carelessness at this point  
may be a  means of harm to the child for
 his lifetime4 ,attention just here may 
do more for him than were possible      
through any other agency4    ,it is a   
parent's duty to know who are his       
child's companions1 and to  know the    
character1 and course of conduct1 and   
influence upon his  child1 of every one 
of those companions separately4 ,here is
 where  a parent's chief work is called 
for in the matter of guiding and        
controlling his child's companionships4 
,a parent must have his child's         

sympathy1 in order to gain this         
knowledge2 and a parent must give  his  
sympathy to his child1 in order to be   
able to use this knowledge  wisely4 ,it 
may be necessary to keep an open house  
for these companions1  and an open heart
 and hand to them personally1 as it     
surely is  necessary to keep an open ear
 to the child's confidences concerning  
their sayings and doings1 if the parent 
would know all about them that  he needs
 to know4 ,there are parents who do all 
this for and with their  children1 as an
 effective means of guiding those       
children in their  companionships4 ,it  
is a pity that there are net more who   
are willing  to do it1 in view of all   
that it may be a means of accomplishing 
for  children4    ,knowing his child's  
companionships1 a parent ought to       
encourage such  of them as are          
worthiest1 and discourage such as he    
cannot approve4  ,he ought to help his  
child to see the advantages of the one  
class and  the disadvantages of the     

other1 and to regulate his social       
intimacies  according to the standards  
thus set before him4 ,it will not do for
 a  parent to allow matters in this line
 to take their own course1 and to       
accept all companionships for his child 
just as they may come to him4  ,he must 
feel responsible for his child's wise   
selection1 from among  the number of    
proffered companions1 of those who are  
to be retained  while others are dropped
 or avoided4 ,and it devolves upon a    
parent to  see to it that his child's   
companionships are of growing value to  
his  companions as well as to himself2  
that his child's influence over his     
very playfellows is for their good1     
while his good is promoted by their     
association with him4 ,a child's        
companionships1 like those of older     
persons1 ought to be of advantage to    
both parties alike1 through the  very   
purpose of making them so4              
,recognizing the desirableness and      
importance of companionships for  his   

child1 securing the best that are       
available1 learning fully their         
characteristics and tendencies1 aiding  
in their sifting1 and seeking  in their 
steady uplifting1 a parent can do       
effective service in the  way of guiding
 his child in and through that child's  
companionships4  ,to neglect this agency
 of a child's training1 would be to     
endanger his  entire career in life1    
whatever else were done in his behalf4  
,,xxi4    ,,never ,,punish ,a ,,child   
,,in ,,anger4      ,anger is not always 
wrong4 ,a parent may be angry without   
sin4 ,and1 as  a matter of fact1 most   
parents do get angry1 whether they ought
 to or  not4 ,children are sometimes    
very provoking1 and parents are         
sometimes  very much provoked4 ,it is   
not always wrong to punish a child4 ,a  
child  may need punishing1 and it may be
 a parent's duty to punish a child      
accordingly4 ,but it is always wrong for
 a parent to punish a child in  anger2  
and however great may be the need of a  

child's punishing1 a  parent ought never
 to administer punishment to a child    
while angry4    ,here is a rule which1  
strictly speaking1 knows no exception2  
yet1 as a  matter of fact1 probably     
nine-tenths of all the punishing of     
children  that is done by parents in    
this world is done in anger4 ,and this  
is  one of the wrongs suffered by       
children through the wrong-doing of     
their  parents4    ,anger is hot blood4 
,anger is passion4 ,anger is for the    
time being a  controlling emotion1      
fixing the mind's eye on the one point  
against  which it is specifically       
directed1 to the forgetfulness of all   
else4  ,but punishment is a judicial    
act1 calling for a clear mind1 and a    
cool  head1 and a fair considering of   
every side of the case in hand4 ,anger  
is inconsistent with the exercise of the
 judicial faculty2 therefore no  person 
is competent to judge fairly while      
angry4    ,if1 indeed1 in any given     
case1 the anger itself be just1 the     

impulse  of the angry man may be in the 
right direction1 and the punishment he  
would inflict a fitting one2 but1 again1
 his impulse may be toward  a punishment
 that is not merited4 ,at all events1   
the man is not in  a frame of mind to   
decide whether or not his impulse is a  
wise one2  and it is his duty to wait   
until he can dispassionately view the   
case  in another light than that in     
which it presents itself to his heated  
brain4 ,no judge is worthy of the office
 he administers1 if he acts on  the     
impulse of his first estimate of a case 
before him1 without taking  time to see 
what can be shown on the other side of  
that case4 ,and no  parent acts worthily
 who jumps to the punishment of a child 
while under  the impulse of an angry    
mood4    ,there are strong provocatives 
to anger in many a child's conduct1     
especially to a parent who is of an     
intense nature1 with an inclination  to 
quickness of temper4 ,a child is        
disobedient at a point where he has     

been repeatedly told of his duty2 he is 
quarrelsome with his playmates1  or     
insolent toward his nurse2 he is        
persistently irritable1 or he gives  way
 to a fit of ungovernable rage2 he      
destroys property recklessly1 or  he    
endangers life and limb2 he snatches    
away a plaything from a little  brother1
 or he clutches his hands into his      
mother's hair2 he indulges  in foul     
language1 or he utters threats of       
revenge2 he meets a proffered  kiss with
 a slap or a scratch2 his conduct may be
 even that which would  excite anger in 
a saint1 but it certainly is such as to 
excite anger  in the average parent--who
 is not a saint4 ,then1 while the parent
 is  angry1 and while punishment seems  
merited by the child1 the temptation  of
 the parent is to administer punishment2
 but that temptation is one  that ought 
never to be yielded to1 or1 if yielded  
to1 it is not without  sin4             
,punishment may be needed in such a     
case1 but the punishment1 to be  surely 

just and to be recognized as just1 must 
be well considered1 and  must be        
administered in a manner to show that it
 is not the outcome  of passionate      
impulse4 ,no punishment ought to be     
administered by a  parent at any time   
that would not be administered by that  
parent when  he was cool and calm and   
deliberate1 and after he had had a full 
and  free talk on the subject with the  
child1 in the child's best state of     
mind4 ,whether the punishment that seems
 to the parent to be the desert  of the 
child1 while the parent is still angry1 
is the punishment that  the parent would
 deem the fitting one in his cooler1    
calmer moments1  can be better decided  
after the parent has looked at it in    
both frames  of mind1 than before he has
 had the advantage of a view from the   
standpoint of fuller deliberation4      
8,what80 inquired a surprised parent1 in
 conversing with the present  writer on 
this very subject1 8do you say that ,i  
must never punish my  boy while ,i'm    

angry with him8 ,why then ,i should     
hardly ever punish him  at all4 ,it is  
while ,i am sitting up for him hour     
after hour1 when ,i've  told him over   
and over again that he must come in     
early1 evenings1  that ,i feel like     
taking hold of him smartly when he does 
come in4 ,if ,i  should say nothing to  
him then1 but should leave the matter   
until the  next morning1 ,i should sleep
 off all my feeling on the subject1 and 
he  wouldn't be punished at all40 ,and  
that father1 in that statement of the   
case1 spoke for many a parent1 in the   
whole matter of the punishing of  a     
child while angry4 ,the punishment which
 the child gets is the result  of the   
passion of the parent1 not of the       
parent's sense of justice2 and  the     
child knows this to be the case1 whether
 the parent does or not4    ,how many   
boxes of the ear1 and shakings of the   
shoulders1 and  slappings and strikings1
 and sentences of doom1 which the       
children  now get from their parents1   

would never be given if only the parents
  refrained from giving these while     
angry1 but waited until they  themselves
 were calm and unruffled1 before        
deciding whether to give  them or not6  
,it is not by any means easy for a      
parent always to control  himself in his
 anger1 so as to refrain from acting on 
the impulse which  his anger imparts2   
but he who has not control of himself is
 the last  person in the world to       
attempt the control of others4 ,and not 
until a  parent has himself in perfect  
control ought he to take his child in   
hand for the judicial investigation and 
treatment of his case as an  evil-doer4 
,of course1 there are cases where       
instant action on the part of parents   
in checking or controlling their        
children's conduct is a necessity1      
whether the parent be excited or calm2  
but in such cases the action1  however  
vigorous or severe1 is not in the line  
of punishment1 but of  conservation4 ,a 
child may be thoughtlessly tugging away 

at the end of  a table-cloth1 with the  
liability of pulling over upon his head 
all the  table crockery1 including the  
scalding tea-pot2 or he may be          
endangering  himself by reaching out    
toward a lighted lamp1 or an open razor4
 ,no  time is to be lost4 ,if the child 
does not respond to a word1 he must be  
dealt with promptly and decisively4 ,a  
sharp rap on the fingers may be  the    
surest available means of saving him    
from a disaster4    ,so1 again1 a       
wayward child may be aiming a missile at
 a costly mirror1  or at a playmate's   
head1 in a fit of temper4 ,not a moment 
can then  be wasted4 ,angry or not      
angry1 the parent may have to clutch at 
the  child's lifted arm to save property
 or life4 ,in such a case1 wise  action 
is called for1 regardless of the frame  
of mind of him who acts4  ,but this is  
the action of the peacekeeper rather    
than of the minister  of justice4 ,the  
parent fills for the moment the place of
 the policeman  on his beat1 rather than

 of the judge on his bench4 ,the        
question of  punishment for the child's 
action is yet to be considered2 and     
that1  again1 must be delayed until     
there is no anger in the parent's mind4 
,anger1 in the sense of hot indignation1
 may1 indeed1 as has already  been said1
 be1 upon an occasion1 a fitting exhibit
 of parental feeling2  but this is only 
in those utterly exceptional cases in   
which a child  transcends all ordinary  
limits of misdoing1 and is guilty of    
that  which he himself knows to be      
intolerable4 ,as ,dr4 ,bushnell says at 
this point1 8,there are cases1 now and  
then1 in the outrageous and  shocking   
misconduct of some boy1 where an        
explosion is wanted2 where  the father  
represents ,god best by some terrible   
outburst of indignant  violated feeling1
 and becomes an instant avenger1 without
 any counsel  or preparation whatever40 
,but this is apart from all questions of
  punishment as punishment4    ,a child 
knows when punishment is administered to

 him in anger1 and  when it is          
administered to him in a purely judicial
 frame of mind2  and a child puts his   
estimate accordingly on him who         
administers the  punishment4 ,in a city 
mission-school1 many years ago1 there   
was a wild  set of boys who seemed to do
 all in their power to anger and annoy  
their teachers4 ,cases of discipline    
were a necessity there2 for again  and  
again a boy attempted violence to a     
teacher1 and force was required  to save
 the teachers from serious harm4 ,but   
love swayed those teachers  even when   
force on their part was a necessity2 and
 the boys seemed to  understand this    
fully4    ,there came a time1 however1  
when the young superintendent of that   
school1 who had often held a scholar in 
check by force1 was made public  sport  
of in such way1 with the rude linking of
 a lady teacher's name  with his in     
ridicule1 that his self-control failed  
him for the moment1  and he evidently   
showed this as he took hold of the      

offender with  unwonted warmth4         
,instantly the boy started back in      
surprise1 with the  reproachful         
exclamation3 8,trumbull1 you're mad2 and
 that's wicked40  ,those words taught a 
lesson to that young superintendent     
which he has  never forgotten4 ,they    
showed him that his power over those    
rough boys  was a moral power1 and that 
it pivoted on his retaining power over  
himself4 ,it was theirs to get him angry
 if they could2 but if they  succeeded  
he was a failure1 and they knew it4 ,and
 that lesson is one  that parents as    
well as superintendents could learn to  
advantage4    ,when a parent punishes a 
child only in love1 and without being   
ruffled by anger1 the child is readier  
to perceive the justice of the          
punishment1 and is under no temptation  
to resent passion with passion4  ,a     
child who had been told by her father1  
that if she did a certain  thing he must
 punish her for it1 came to him1 on his 
return home1 and  informed him that she 

had transgressed in the thing forbidden4
 ,he  expressed sincere regret for this4
 8,but you said1 papa1 that you would   
punish me for it10 she added4 8,yes1 my 
dear child1 and ,i must keep my  word10 
was his answer4 ,then1 as he drew her   
lovingly to him1 he told  her just why  
he must punish her4 ,looking up into his
 face with tearful  trust1 she said3    
8,you don't like to punish me1--do you1 
papa80 8,indeed ,i  don't1 my darling10 
he said1 in earnestness4 8,it hurts you 
more than  it hurts me1--doesn't it1    
papa80 was her sympathetic question1 as 
if she  were more troubled for her      
father than for herself4 8,yes1 indeed  
it  does1 my darling child10 was his    
loving rejoinder4 ,and the punishment   
which that father gave and that daughter
 received under circumstances  like     
these1 was a cause of no chafing between
 the two even for the  moment1 while it 
brought its gain to both1 as no act of  
punishment in  anger1 however just in   
itself1 could ever bring1 in such a     

case4    ,as a rule1 a child ought not  
to be punished except for an offense    
that1  at the time of its committal1 was
 known by the child to be an offense    
deserving of punishment4 ,it is no more 
fair for a parent to impose a  penalty  
to an offense after the offense is      
committed1 than it is for a  civil      
government to pass an ex post facto law1
 by which punishment is  to be awarded  
for offenses committed before that law  
was passed4 ,and if  a child            
understands1 when he does a wrong1 that 
he must expect a fixed  punishment as   
its penalty1 there is little danger of  
his feeling that  his parent is unjust  
in administering that punishment2 and1  
certainly1  there is no need of the     
parent hastening to administer that     
punishment  while still angry4          
,punishment received by a child from an 
angry parent is an injury to  both      
parent and child4 ,the parent is the    
worse for yielding to the  temptation to
 give way to anger against a child4 ,the

 child is harmed by  knowing that his   
parent has done wrong4 ,a child can be  
taught to know  that he deserves        
punishment4 ,a child needs no teaching  
to know that his  parent is wrong in    
punishing him while angry4 ,no parent   
ought to punish  a child except with a  
view to the child's good4 ,and in order 
to do good  to a child through his      
punishing1 a parent must religiously    
refrain  from punishing him while angry4
          ,,xxii4    ,,scolding ,,is    
,,never ,,in ,,order4      ,many a      
father who will not strike his child    
feels free to scold him4  ,and a        
scolding mother is not always deemed the
 severest and most unjust  of mothers4  
,yet1 while it is sometimes right to    
strike a child1 it is  at no time right 
to scold one4 ,scolding is1 in fact1    
never in order1 in  dealing with a      
child1 or in any other duty in life4    
,to 8scold0 is to assail or revile with 
boisterous speech4 ,the word  itself    
seems to have a primary meaning akin to 

that of barking or  howling4 ,from its  
earliest use the term 8scolding0 has    
borne a bad  reputation4 ,in common law1
 8a common scold0 is a public nuisance1 
against which the civil authority may be
 invoked by the disturbed  neighborhood4
 ,this is a fact at the present time1 as
 it was a fact in  the days of old4 ,and
 it is true to-day as it was when spoken
 by ,john  ,skelton1 four centuries ago1
 that      8,a sclaunderous tunge1 a    
tunge of a skolde1    ,worketh more     
mischiefe than can be tolde40           
,scolding is always an expression of a  
bad spirit and of a loss of  temper4    
,this is as truly the case when a lovely
 mother scolds her  child for breaking  
his playthings wilfully1 or for soiling 
his third  dress in one forenoon by     
playing in the gutter which he was      
forbidden  to approach1 as when one     
apple-woman yells out her abuse of      
another  apple-woman in a street-corner 
quarrel4 ,in either case the essence of 
the scolding is in the multiplication of

 hot words in expression of  strong     
feelings that1 while eminently natural1 
ought to be held in  better control4    
,the words themselves may be very       
different in the two  cases1 but the    
spirit and method are much alike in     
both4 ,it is scolding  in the one case  
as in the other2 and scolding is never  
in order4    ,if a child has done wrong1
 a child needs talking to2 but no parent
  ought to talk to a child while that   
parent is unable to talk in a  natural  
tone of voice1 and with carefully       
measured words4 ,if the parent  is      
tempted to speak rapidly1 or to multiply
 words without stopping to  weigh them1 
or to show an excited state of feeling1 
the parent's first  duty is to gain     
entire self-control4 ,until that control
 is secured1  there is no use of the    
parent's trying to attempt any measure  
of  child-training4 ,the loss of        
self-control is for the time being an   
utter  loss of power for the control of 
others4 ,this is as true in one sphere  

as in another4    ,mr4 ,hammond's       
admirable work on 8,dog-,training10     
already referred to in  these pages1    
says on this very point1 to the         
dog-trainer3 8,you must  keep perfectly 
cool1 and must suffer no sign to escape 
of any anger or  impatience2 for if you 
cannot control your temper1 you are not 
the one  to train a dog40 8,do not allow
 yourself10 says this instructor1 8under
  any circumstances to speak to your    
pupil in anything but your ordinary     
tone of voice40 ,and1 recognizing the   
difficulties of the case1 he  adds3     
8,exercise an unwearied patience2 and if
 at any time you find the  strain upon  
your nerves growing a little tense1     
leave him at once1 and  wait until you  
are perfectly calm before resuming the  
lesson40 ,that is  good counsel for him 
who would train a dog--or a child2 for  
in either  dog-training or              
child-training1 scolding--loud and      
excited talking--is  never in order4    
,in giving commands1 or in giving       

censure1 to a child1 the fewer and  the 
more calmly spoken words the better4 ,a 
child soon learns that  scolding means  
less than quiet talking2 and he even    
comes to find a  certain satisfaction in
 waiting silently until the scolder has 
blown  off the surplus feeling which    
vents itself in this way4 ,there are    
times1 indeed1 when words may be        
multiplied to advantage in explaining   
to a child the nature and consequences  
of his offense1 and the reasons  why he 
should do differently in the future2 but
 such words should  always be spoken in 
gentleness1 and in self-controlled      
earnestness4  ,scolding--rapidly spoken 
censure and protest1 in the exhibit of  
strong  feeling--is never in order as a 
means of training and directing a child4
    ,most parents1 even the gentler and 
kindlier parents1 scold their  children 
more or less4 ,rarely can a child say1  
8,my parents never scold  me40 ,many a  
child is well trained in spite of his   
being scolded4 ,many  a parent is a good

 parent notwithstanding the fact that he
 scolds his  children4 ,but no child is 
ever helped or benefited by any scolding
 that  he receives2 and no parent ever  
helps or benefits his child by means  of
 a scolding4 ,scolding is not always    
ruinous1 but it is always out of  place4
    ,if1 indeed1 scolding has any good  
effect at all1 that effect is on  the   
scolder1 and not on the scolded4        
,scolding is the outburst of  strong    
feeling that struggles for the mastery  
under the pressure of  some outside     
provocation4 ,it never benefits the one 
against whom it  is directed1 nor yet   
those who are its outside observers1    
however it  may give physical relief to 
the one who indulges in it4 ,if1        
therefore1  scolding is an unavoidable  
necessity on the part of any parent1 let
  that parent at once shut himself1 or  
herself1 up1 all alone1 in a room  where
 the scolding can be indulged in without
 harming any one4 ,but let  it be       
remembered that1 as an element in       

child-training1 scolding is  never1     
never1 in order4          ,,xxiii4      
,,dealing ,,tenderly ,,with ,a          
,,child',s ,,fears4      ,the best child
 in the world is liable to be full of   
fears2 and the  child who is full of    
fears deserves careful handling1 in     
order that his  fears may not gain      
permanent control of him4 ,fears are of 
a child's  very nature1 and every       
child's training must be in view of the 
fact  that he has fears4 ,how to deal   
wisely1 firmly1 and tenderly with a     
child's fears is1 therefore1 one of the 
important practical questions  in the   
training of a child4    ,to begin with1 
it should be understood that a child's  
fears are no sign  of a child's         
weakness1 but that1 as a rule1 the      
stronger a child is in  the elements of 
a well-balanced and an admirable        
character1 the more  fears he will have 
to contend with in the exercise of his  
character4  ,hence a child's fears are  
worthy of respect1 and call for         

tenderness  of treatment1 instead of    
being looked at as a cause of ridicule  
or of  severity on the part of those who
 observe them4    8,fear0 is not        
8cowardice40 ,fear is a keen perception 
of dangers1 real  or imaginary4         
,cowardice is a refusal to brave the    
dangers which the  fears recognize4     
,fear is the evidence of manly          
sensitiveness4 ,cowardice  is the       
exhibit of unmanly weakness4 ,fear is a 
moral attribute of  humanity4 ,cowardice
 is a moral lack4 ,a child1 or a man1   
who is wholly  free from cowardice1 may 
have more fears than the veriest coward 
living4 ,the one struggles successfully 
against his many fears2 the  other      
yields in craven submission to the first
 fear that besets him4    ,it is by no  
means to a child's credit that it can be
 said of him1 8,he  doesn't know what   
fear is40 ,a child ought to know what   
fear is4 ,he  is pitiably ignorant if he
 does not4 ,the same is true of the     
bravest  man4 ,it is not the soldier who

 does not know fear but it is the       
soldier who will not yield to the fears 
he feels1 who is the truly  courageous  
man4 ,without a fine perception and a   
quick apprehension  of dangers on every 
side1 no soldier could be fully alive to
 the  necessities of his position and to
 the demands of his duty2 and it  is1 in
 a sense1 peculiarly true1 that the best
 soldier is likely to  be the most      
fearful4 ,it is the ,braddocks who are  
8not afraid0 that  needlessly suffer    
disaster2 while the ,washingtons who    
have timely fears  are prepared to act  
efficiently in the time of disaster4    
,there is a  suggestion of this truth in
 the words of the ,apostle1 8,let him   
that  thinketh he standeth take heed    
lest he fall20 or1 as it might be said1 
,let him who has no fears have a care   
lest he fail from his lack of  fears4   
,a child's fears are on various planes1 
and because of this they must be        
differently dealt with4 ,a child has    
fears which are reasonable1 fears  which

 are unreasoning1 and fears which are   
wholly imaginary2 fears  which are the  
result of a process of reasoning1 fears 
which are apart  from any reasoning     
process1 and fears which are in the     
realm of fancy  and imagination4 ,in one
 child one phase of these fears is the  
more  prominent1 and in another child   
another phase4 ,but in every child there
  is a measure of fear on all three of  
these planes4    ,a child who has once  
fallen in trying to stand or walk1 or   
from coming  too near the top of a      
flight of stairs1 is liable to be afraid
 that he  will fall again if he makes   
another effort in the same direction4   
8,a  burnt child dreads the fire40 ,that
 is a reasonable fear4 ,again1 a child  
comes very early to an instinctive      
shrinking from trusting himself to a    
stranger2 he recoils from an            
ill-appearing person or thing2 he       
trembles  at a loud noise2 he is fearful
 because of the slamming of shutters1   
even when he knows that the wind does   

it2 he is afraid of thunder as  well as 
of lightning1 apart from any question of
 harm to him from the  electric bolt4   
,this is without any process of         
reasoning on his part1  even while there
 is a basis of reality in the causes of 
his fear4 ,yet  again1 a child is afraid
 of being alone in the darkness2 or he  
is  afraid of 8ghosts0 and 8goblins10   
about which he has been told by  others4
 ,it is his imagination that is at work 
in this case4    ,that all these        
different fears should call for         
precisely the same  treatment is1 of    
course1 an absurdity4 ,how to deal with 
each class of  fears by itself1 is an   
important element in the question before
 the  parent who would treat wisely the 
fears of his children4    ,a child would
 be obviously lacking in sense1 if he   
were never afraid  of the consequences  
of any action to which he was inclined4 
,if he had  no fear of falling1 no fear 
of fire or water1 no fear of edged tools
  or machinery1 no fear of a moving     

vehicle1 it would be an indication  of  
his defectiveness in reasoning          
faculties4 ,yet that there is a wide    
difference among children in the measure
 of their timidity in the  presence of  
personal danger1 no one will deny4      
,one child inclines to be unduly        
cautious1 while another inclines to be  
unduly venturesome4 ,moreover1 that the 
timidest child can be brought to        
overcome1 in large measure1 his fears of
 physical harm1 is apparent in  view of 
the success of primitive peoples in     
training their children  to swim before 
they can walk1 or to climb as soon as   
they can stand2  and of circus managers 
in bringing the children of civilized   
parents  to feats of daring agility4    
,how to train a child to the mastery of 
his fears in this line1 without the     
brutal disregard of his feelings  that  
too often accompanies such training by  
savages or professional  athletes1 is a 
point worthy of the attention of every  
wise parent4    ,because these fears are

 within the realm of the reasoning      
faculties1  they ought to be removed by 
means of a process of reasoning4 ,a     
child  ought not to be beaten or        
threatened or ridiculed into the        
overcoming  of his fears1 but rather    
encouraged and directed to their        
overcoming1  through showing him that   
they ought to1 and that they can1 be    
overcome4  ,his fears are not unworthy  
of him2 therefore he ought neither to be
  punished nor to be made sport of      
because he has them4 ,the meeting and   
surmounting of his fears1 within bounds1
 is also worthy of a child2  therefore  
he ought to be helped to see this fact1 
and kindly cheered  and sympathized with
 in his efforts accordingly4    ,many a 
child has been trained to intelligent   
fearlessness1 so far as  he ought to be 
fearless1 through the wise and tender   
endeavors of his  parents to show him   
his power in this direction1 and to     
stimulate him  to the exercise of this  
power4 ,and many a child has been turned

 aside  from the overcoming of his      
fears1 through the untimely ridicule of 
him  for his possession of those fears4 
,because he must be a laughing-stock    
while struggling to master his fears1 he
 decides to evade the struggle  in order
 to evade the ridicule4 ,tenderness in  
pointing out to a child  the wiser way  
of meeting his fears1 is better than    
severity on the one  hand1 or ridicule  
on the other4    ,unreasoning or        
instinctive fears are common to both the
 brightest and  the dullest children4   
,they are among the guards which are    
granted to  humanity1 in its very       
nature1 for its own protection4 ,it     
would never  do for a child to make no  
distinction between persons whom he     
could  trust implicitly1 and persons    
whom he must suspect1 or shrink from4   
,it  is right that he should be won or  
repelled by differences in form and     
expression4 ,he needs to be capable of  
starting at a sudden sound1 and  of     
standing in awe of the great forces of  

nature4 ,the proper meeting of  these   
instinctive fears by a child must be    
through his understanding  of their     
reasonable limits1 and through the      
intelligent conforming of  his action to
 that understanding4 ,it is for the     
parent to train his  child to know how  
far he must overcome these fears1 and   
how far they  must still have play in   
his mind4 ,and this is a process        
requiring  tenderness1 patience1 and    
wisdom4    ,when a child shows fear at  
the moaning of the wind about the house1
 and  at its rattling of the shutters on
 a winter's night1 it is not fair to    
say to him1 8,oh1 nonsense6 ,what are   
you afraid of8 ,that's nothing but  the 
wind40 ,there is no help to the child in
 that saying2 but there is  harm to him 
in its suggestion of the parent's lack  
of sympathy with  him4 ,if1 however1 the
 parent says1 at such a time1 8,does    
that sound  trouble you8 ,let me tell   
you how it comes20 and then goes on to  
show  how the wind is doing ,god's work 

in driving away causes of sickness1  and
 how it sometimes makes sweet music on  
wires that are stretched out  for it to 
play upon1--the child may come to have a
 new thought about the  wind1 and to    
listen for its changing sounds on the   
shutters or through  the trees4    ,one 
good mother sought to overcome her      
little boy's fear of thunder by  simply 
telling him that it was ,god's voice    
speaking out of the heavens2  but that  
was one step too many for his thoughts  
to take as yet4 ,the  thunder just as it
 was1 was what gave him trouble1 no     
matter where it  came from2 so when the 
next peal sounded through the air1 the  
little  fellow whimpered out            
despairingly1 8,mamma1 baby doesn't like
 ,god's  voice40 ,and that mother was   
too wise and tender to rebuke her child 
for  his unreadiness for that mode of   
revelation from above4    ,on the other 
hand1 an equally wise and tender father1
 whose little  daughter was afraid of   
the thunder1 took his child into his    

arms1 when  a thunder-storm was raging1 
and carried her out on to the piazza1 in
  order1 as he said1 to show her        
something very beautiful4 ,then he told 
her that the clouds were making loud    
music1 and that the light always        
flashed from the clouds before the music
 sounded1 and he wanted her to  watch   
for both light and music4 ,his evident  
enthusiasm on the subject1  and his     
manifest tenderness toward his child1   
swept the little one  away from her     
fears1 out toward the wonders of nature 
above her2 and  soon she was ready to   
believe that the thunder was as the very
 voice  of ,god1 which she could listen 
to with reverent gratitude4 ,if there   
were more of such loving wisdom         
exercised in parental dealing with      
children's fears1 there would be less   
trouble from the unmastered fears  of   
children on every side4    ,the hardest 
fears to control are1 however1 the fears
 which are purely  of the imagination2  
and no other fears call for such        

considerate  tenderness of treatment as 
these1 in the realm of child-training4  
,it  is the more sensitive children1    
children of the finest grain1 and of    
the more active and potent imaginings1  
who are most liable to the sway  of     
these fears1 and who are sure to suffer 
most from them4 ,persons who  are       
lacking in the imaginative faculty1 or  
who are cold-blooded and  matter-of-fact
 in their temperament and nature1 are   
hardly able to  comprehend the power of 
these fears over those who feel them at 
their  fullest4 ,hence it is that these 
fears in a child's mind are less likely 
than any others to receive due          
consideration from parents generally1   
even while they need it most4           
,because these fears are not of the     
reason1 they are not to be removed  by  
reason4 ,because they are of the        
imagination1 the imagination must be    
called into service for their mastery4  
,it is not enough to pronounce  these   
fears unreasonable and foolish4 ,they   

are1 in their realm1 a  reality1 and    
they must be met accordingly4 ,while    
children suffer from  them most keenly1 
they are not always outgrown in manhood4
 ,a clergyman  already past the middle  
of life was heard to say that1 to this  
day1  he could never come up the cellar 
stairs all by himself1 late at  night1  
after covering up the furnace fire for  
the night1 without the  irrational fear 
that some one would clutch him by his   
feet from out of  the darkness below4   
,the fear was a reality1 even though the
 cause was  in the imagination4 ,and a  
soldier who had been under fire in a    
score of  battles1 said that he would   
to-day rather go into another battle    
than  to be all alone in a deserted     
house in broad daylight4    ,in neither 
of these cases was the person under the 
influence of  superstitious fears1 but  
only of those fears which an active     
imagination will suggest in connection  
with possibilities of danger  beyond all
 that can yet be seen4 ,and these are   

but illustrations of  the sway of such  
fears in the minds of men who are       
stronger by reason  of their very       
susceptibility to such fears4 ,these men
 have added  power because of their     
vivid imaginations2 and because of their
 vivid  imaginations they are liable to 
fears of this sort4 ,what folly1 then1  
to blame a child of high imagination for
 feeling the sway of similar  fears6    
,the heroic treatment of these fears of 
the imagination is not what is  called  
for in every instance2 nor is it always 
sufficient to meet the  case4 ,a child  
may be trained to go by himself into the
 darkness1 or to  sleep in a room shut  
away from other occupants of the house1 
without  overcoming his fears of        
imagination4 ,and if these fears be     
constantly  spoken of as those which are
 utterly unworthy of him1 the child may 
indeed refrain from giving expression to
 them1 and suffer all by  himself with  
an uncalled-for sense of humiliation1   
even while he is  just as timid as      

before4 ,it would be better1 in many a  
case1 to refrain  from an undue strain  
on a sensitive child1 through sending   
him out of  the house in the evening to 
walk a lonely path1 or through forcing  
him to sleep beyond the easy call of    
other members of the household2  but in 
every instance it is right and wise for 
a parent to give his  child the evidence
 of sympathy with him in his fears1 and 
of tender  considerateness of him in his
 struggles for their overcoming4    ,the
 help of helps to a child in meeting his
 fears of the imagination1  is found in 
the bringing to his mind1 through the   
imagination1 a sense  of the constant   
presence of a ,divine ,protector to     
cheer him when his  fears are at their  
highest4 ,a little child who wakened in 
the middle of  the night1 called to her 
parents1 in another room1 and when her  
father  was by her bedside1 she told him
 that she was afraid to be alone4       
,instead of rebuking her for this1 he   
said1 8,there's a little verse in  the  

,bible1 my darling1 that's meant for you
 at a time like this2 and  ,i want you  
to have that in your mind whenever you  
waken in this way4  ,it is a verse out  
of one of ,david's psalms2 and it is    
what he said to  the ,lord his          
,shepherd3 #8,what time ,i am afraid1 ,i
 will trust in thee4'  ,that is the     
verse4 ,now1 whenever you are afraid1   
you can think of that  verse1 and say it
 over as a loving prayer1 and the ,good 
,shepherd will  hear you1 and will keep 
you from all harm40    ,the child       
repeated the verse after her father1 and
 she saw its peculiar  fitness to her   
case4 ,as her father then prayed to the 
,god of ,david in  loving confidence1   
she realized more fully than before how 
near ,god  was to her in the time of her
 greatest fears4 ,and from that time on1
  that little child was comforted       
through faith when her imagination      
pressed her with its terrors4 ,she never
 forgot that verse2 and it still  is a  
help to her in her fears by day and by  

night4    ,a child's imagination ought1 
indeed1 to be guarded sacredly4 ,it     
should  be shielded as far as possible  
from unnecessary fears1 through foolish 
stories of ghosts and witches1 told by  
nurses or companions1 or read  from     
improper books4 ,but whether a child's  
fears in this realm be few  or many1    
they should be dealt with tenderly by a 
loving parent2 not  ignored1 nor rudely 
overborne4 ,many a child has been harmed
 for life  through a thoughtless        
disregard by his parents of the fears of
 his  imagination4 ,but every child     
might be helped for life by a           
sympathetic  and tender treatment of    
these fears1 on the part of his parents1
 while  he is still under their         
training4    ,in no realm of a child's  
nature has a child greater need of      
sympathy  and tenderness from his       
parents1 than in the realm of his fears4
 ,it is  because he is sensitive1 and in
 proportion as he is sensitive1 that a  
child's fears have any hold upon him4   

,and a child's sensitiveness is  too    
sacred to be treated rudely or with     
lightness by those to whom he  is       
dearest1 and who would fain train him   
wisely and well4          ,,xxiv4       
,,the ,,sorrows ,,of ,,children4        
,the trials and sorrows of children and 
young people have not always  had the   
recognition they deserve from parents   
and teachers4 ,it is even  customary to 
speak of childhood as an age of utter   
freedom from anxiety  and grief1 and to 
look upon boys and girls generally as   
happier and  lighter-hearted than they  
can hope to be in later life4 ,no       
mistake  could be greater than this4    
,the darker side of life is seen first4 
,the  brighter side comes afterward4    
8,man is born unto trouble1 as the      
sparks fly upward40 ,the first sound  of
 a child's voice is a cry1 and that cry 
is many times repeated before  the child
 gives his first smile4 ,how easily the 
best-behaved baby  cries1 every mother  
can testify4 ,it is the soothing of a   

crying child1  not the sharing in the   
joy of a laughing one1 which taxes the  
skill  and the patience of a faithful   
nurse4 ,only as the child is trained1   
disciplined1 to overcome his inclination
 to cry1 and to find happiness  in his  
sphere1 does he come to be a joyous and 
glad-hearted little one4    ,every      
burden of life--and life's burdens seem 
many--rests at its heaviest  on a       
child's nature4 ,a child is refused more
 requests than are granted  to him4 ,he 
is subjected to disappointments daily1  
almost hourly4 ,the  baby cannot reach  
the moon1 nor handle papa's razor1 nor  
pound the  looking-glass1 nor pull over 
the tea-pot1 nor creep into the fire4   
,the  older child cannot eat everything 
he wants to1 nor go out at all times1   
nor have papa and mamma ever at his     
side4 ,then there come school-tasks  to 
shrink from1 and the jealousies and     
unkindnesses of playmates and           
companions to grieve over4 ,and as more 
is known of life and the world1  and the

 inevitable struggles with temptation1  
and of the injustice and  wrongs which  
must in so many instances be suffered1  
it becomes harder  and harder for a     
young person to see only the brighter   
side of human  existence1 and to bear up
 bravely and cheerily under all that    
tends to  sadden and oppress us4 ,there 
are more clouds in the sky of life's    
,april  than of life's ,august4    ,as  
the young grow older they come to be    
less sensitive to little  trials1 and   
they control themselves better4 ,they   
are not tempted to  shed tears whenever 
they find their plans thwarted1 or      
themselves  unable to do or to have all 
they would like to1 or their companions 
unlike what they had hoped for4 ,they   
learn to philosophize over their        
troubles1 to look at the compensations  
of life1 and to recognize the  fact that
 many things which they have longed     
after would not have been  good for them
 if they had obtained them1 and that1 at
 all events1 time  will soften many of  

their trials4 ,and so life's troubles   
seem lighter1  and life's joys          
greater--if not more intense--to maturer
 minds than to  the young4 ,even when   
men are far greater sufferers than ever 
children  can be1 they come to be       
calloused in a measure through the very 
continuance of their grief1 and they    
bear as a little thing that which  would
 have crushed them a few years before4  
,but how their former experiences and   
their earlier tumults of feeling  are   
forgotten by men and women as they get  
farther and farther away  from          
childhood6 ,they fail to remember how   
deeply they grieved as little  ones4    
,they forget1 in large measure1 how     
heavy the burdens of life  seemed in    
their earlier years4 ,they are sure that
 many things which now  trouble them had
 no power over them when they were      
younger4 ,it seems  to them1 indeed1    
that the little trials of children      
cannot seem very  large even to         
children4 ,and so1 as they watch the    

little ones in their  brighter moments1 
they think that childhood is the age of 
freedom from  sorrow and care2 and they 
are even inclined to wish that they were
  young once more1 that they might have 
no such hours of trial and grief  as now
 they are called to so frequently4      
,values are relative2 so are losses2 so 
are sorrows4 ,one person puts a  high   
estimate on what another deems quite    
worthless4 ,one grieves over  a loss for
 which another would feel no concern4   
,that which a child  values highly may  
be of no moment to the child's father2  
but its loss  might be as great a grief 
to the child as would the loss to the   
father  of that which1 in the father's  
sight1 is incalculably more important4  
,the breaking of a valued toy may be as 
serious a disaster1 from the  child's   
point of view1 as the bankrupting of the
 father's business  would seem from the 
father's standpoint4 ,and the child's   
temporary  censure by his playmates for 
some slight misdoing of his1 may cause  

to  him as bitter a sorrow as would the 
condemnation by the public1 cause  to   
his father when the father's course had 
brought him into permanent  disgrace4   
,a little girl was startled by what she 
heard said at the family table          
concerning a neighbor's loss of         
household silver through a visit of     
robbers4 8,mamma10 she whispered1 8do   
robbers take dolls80 ,her dolls  were   
that child's treasure4 ,if they were in 
danger1 life had new  terrors for her4  
8,no1 my dear10 said her mamma2 8robbers
 don't want  dolls4 ,why should they    
take them80 8,i didn't know but they    
would want  them for their little       
girls10 was the answer2 as showing that1
 in the  child's estimation1 dolls had a
 value for children in the homes of     
robbers as well as elsewhere4 ,with the 
assurance that her dolls were  safe1    
that little girl had less fear of       
midnight robberies4 ,what1 to  her mind1
 was the loss of the family silver1 or  
of clothing and jewels1  if the dolls   

were to be left unharmed6 ,a child's    
estimate of values may  be a false one2 
but the child's sorrows over losses     
measured by those  estimates are as real
 as any one's sorrows4    ,it must1     
indeed1 be a sore pressure of sorrow and
 trial on a child's  mind and heart1 to 
bring him to commit suicide2 yet the    
suicide of  a child is by no means so   
rare an act as many would suppose4 ,the 
annual official statistics of suicides  
in ,france show a considerable          
percentage of children among the unhappy
 victims4 ,hundreds of suicides  are    
reported in ,england1 year by year4 ,in 
,america the case is much  the same4    
,month by month the public prints give  
the details of child  suicides as a     
result of some sore trial or sorrow to  
the little ones4    8,forgive me for    
committing suicide10 wrote a bright and 
affectionate  lad1 in a note to his     
father just before committing the fatal 
act4 8,i  am tired of life10 he added4  
,and everything in connection with his  

suicide showed that that lad had planned
 the act with a cool head and  an aching
 heart4 ,in fact1 most persons of adult 
years can recall out of  the memories of
 their earlier life some experiences of 
disappointment1  or of grief1 or of a   
sense of injustice1 which made life seem
 to them  for the time being no longer  
worth living1 and the thought of an end 
to  their trial in death not wholly     
terrible4 ,very childish all this was1  
of course2 but that is the point of its 
lesson to parents2 childish  griefs are 
very real and very trying--to children4 
,one plain teaching of these facts      
concerning the sorrows of children  is1 
that the young need the comfort and joys
 of a ,christian faith for  the life    
that now is1 quite as surely as the aged
 need a ,christian  hope for the life   
that is to come4 ,the surest way of     
bringing even  a child to see the       
brighter side of this life is by        
inducing him to  put his trust in an    
omnipotent ,saviour1 who loves him1 and 

who makes  all things work together for 
good to him if only he trust himself to 
,his care and walks faithfully in ,his  
service4 ,the invitations and  the      
promises of the ,bible are just what    
children need1 to give them  happiness  
and hope for now and for hereafter4     
,,xxv4    ,,the ,,place ,,of ,,sympathy 
,,in ,,child-,,training4      ,a child  
needs sympathy hardly less than he needs
 love2 yet ten children  are loved by   
their parents where one child has his   
parents' sympathy4  ,every parent will  
admit that love for his children is a   
duty2 but only  now and then is there a 
parent who realizes that he ought to    
have  sympathy with his children4 ,in   
fact1 it may safely be said that1 among 
those children who are not called to    
suffer from actual unkindness on  the   
part of their parents1 there is no      
greater cause of unhappiness  than the  
lack of parental sympathy4 ,and1 on the 
other hand1 it is  unquestionably true  
that in no way can any parent gain such 

power over  his child for the shaping of
 the child's character and habits of    
life  as by having and showing sympathy 
with that child4    ,love may be all on 
one side4 ,it may be given without being
 returned  or appreciated4 ,it may fail 
of influencing or affecting the one     
toward whom it goes out4 ,but sympathy  
is in its very nature a twofold  force4 
,it cannot be all on one side4 ,from its
 start it is a response  to another's   
feelings or needs4 ,it is based on the  
affections1 or  inclinations1 or        
sufferings1 or sense of lack1 already   
experienced by  another4 ,hence sympathy
 is sure of a grateful recognition by   
the one  who has called it out4 ,love   
may be proffered before it is asked for 
or  desired4 ,sympathy is in itself the 
answer to a call for that which it      
represents4 ,love may1 indeed1 be       
unwelcome4 ,sympathy is1 in advance1    
assured of a welcome4    ,in his joys as
 in his sorrows a true child wants some 
one to share his  feelings rather than  

to guide them4 ,if he has fallen and    
hurt himself1  a child is more helped by
 being spoken to in evident sympathy    
than by  being told that he must not    
cry1 or that his hurt is a very trifling
  matter4 ,the love that shows itself in
 tenderly binding up his wound1  in a   
case like this1 has less hold upon the  
child than the sympathy  that expresses 
a full sense of his pain1 and that      
recognizes and  commends his struggle to
 control his feelings under his injury4 
,it is  easier1 indeed1 to comfort a    
child at such a time1 and to give him   
power over himself1 by showing him that 
you feel with him1 and how you  want him
 to feel1 than by telling him1 never so 
lovingly1 what he ought  to do1 and how 
to do it4 ,and it is the same with a    
child in any time of  joy1 as in every  
time of grief4 ,he wants your sympathy  
with him in his  delights1 rather than  
your loving approval of his enjoying    
himself just  then and in that way4     
,herbert ,spencer1 who makes as little  

of the finer sentiments of  human nature
 as any intelligent observer of children
 can safely do1  emphasizes this desire 
of a child for sympathy1 in the realm of
 mental  development4 8,what can be more
 manifest10 he asks1 8than the desire   
of children for intellectual sympathy8  
,mark how the infant sitting  on your   
knee thrusts into your face the toy it  
holds1 that you too  may look at it4    
,see1 when it makes a creak with its wet
 finger on the  table1 how it turns and 
looks at you2 does it again1 and again  
looks at  you2 thus saying as clearly as
 it can--#8,hear this new sound4' ,watch
 how  the older children come into the  
room exclaiming1 #8,mamma1 see what a   
curious thing1' #8,mamma1 look at this1'
 #8,mamma1 look at that2' and would     
continue the habit1 did not the silly   
mamma tell them not to tease her4       
,observe how1 when out with the         
nurse-maid1 each little one runs up to  
her with the new flower it has gathered1
 to show her how pretty it is1  and to  

get her also to say it is pretty4       
,listen to the eager volubility  with   
which every urchin describes any novelty
 he has been to see1 if  only he can    
find some one who will attend with any  
interest40    ,how many parents there   
are1 however1 who are readier to provide
  playthings for their children than to 
share the delights of their  children   
with those playthings2 readier to set   
their children at  knowledge-seeking1   
than to have a part in their children's 
surprises  and enjoyments of            
knowledge-attaining2 readier to make    
good1 as far  as they can1 all losses to
 their children1 than to grieve with    
their  children over those losses4 ,and 
what a loss of power to those parents   
as parents1 is this lack of sympathy    
with their children as children4  ,there
 are1 however1 parents who sympathize   
with their children in all  things2 and 
as a result1 they practically train and 
sway their children  as they will3 for  
when there is entire sympathy between   

two persons1  the stronger one is       
necessarily the controlling force with  
both4    ,in order to sympathize with   
another1 you must be able to put        
yourself  in his place1 mentally and    
emotionally2 to occupy1 for the time    
being1  his point of view1 and to see   
that which he sees1 and as he sees it1  
as he looks out thence4 ,it is not that 
your way of looking at it is  his way   
from the start1 but it is that his way  
of looking at it must  be your way while
 you are taking your start in an effort 
to show  your sympathy with him4 ,in    
many relations of life1 sympathy would  
be  impossible between two parties1     
because of the differences of taste  and
 temperament and habits of thought2 but 
in the case of parent  and child1 the   
parent ought to be able to learn the    
child's ways of  thinking and modes of  
feeling1 so as to come into the         
possibility of  sympathy with the child 
at all times4    ,how the child ought to
 feel is one thing4 ,how the child does 

feel is  quite another thing4 ,the      
parent may know the former better than  
the  child does2 but the latter the     
child knows better than the parent4     
,until a parent has learned just how the
 child looks at any matter1 the  parent 
is incapable of so coming alongside of  
the child in his estimate  of that      
matter as to win his confidence and to  
work with him toward a  more correct    
view of it4 ,to stand off apart from the
 child1 and tell  him how he ought to   
think and feel1 may be a means of       
disheartening  him1 as he finds himself 
so far from the correct standard4 ,but  
to stand  with the child and point him  
to the course he ought to pursue1 is    
more  likely to inspire him to honest   
efforts in that direction1 until he     
comes to think and to feel as his       
parents would have him4    ,a parent    
misses an opportunity of gaining added  
power over his  child1 when he fails to 
show sympathy with that child in the    
child's  enjoyments and ordinary        

occupations4 ,if1 indeed1 the parent    
would  be always ready to evidence an   
interest in his child's plays and       
companionships and studies1 the parent  
would grow into the very life of  his   
child in all these spheres2 and there   
would be hardly less delight  to the    
child in talking those things over with 
his parent afterward1  than in going    
through with them originally4 ,but if   
the parent seems  to have no share with 
the child in any one or all of these    
lines  of childhood experience1 the     
child is necessarily shut away so far   
from his parent1 and compelled to live  
his life there as if he were            
parentless4    ,still more does a parent
 lose of opportunity for good to his    
child1 if  he fails to have sympathy    
with his child in that child's          
weaknesses  and follies and misdoings4  
,it is in every child's nature to long  
for sympathy at the point where he needs
 it most2 and when he has  done wrong1  
or has indulged evil thoughts1 or is    

feeling the force of  temptation1 he is 
glad to turn to some one stronger and   
better than  himself1 and make          
confession of his faults and failures4  
,if1 as he  comes to his parents at such
 a time1 he is met with manifest        
sympathy1  he is drawn to his parents   
with new confidence and new trust4 ,but 
if he  is met unsympathetically1 and is 
simply told how wrong he is1 or how     
strange it seems that he should be so   
far astray1 he is turned back  upon     
himself to meet his bitterest           
life-struggle all by himself2 and  a new
 barrier is reared between him and his  
parents1 that no parental  love can     
remove1 and that no parental            
watchfulness or care can make a         
blessing to either child or parent4     
,it is a great thing for a parent to    
have such sympathy with his child  that 
his child can tell him freely of his    
worst thoughts or his  greatest failures
 without any fear of seeming to shock   
that parent1 and  so to chill the       

child's confidence4 ,it is a great thing
 for a parent  to have such sympathetic 
thoughts of his child when that child   
has  unintentionally broken some fragile
 keepsake peculiarly dear to the        
parent1 as to be more moved by regret   
for the child's sorrow over the  mishap 
than for the loss of the precious relic4
 ,there is no such power  over children 
as comes from such sympathy with        
children4    ,there is truth in the     
suggestion of ,herbert ,spencer1 that   
too often  8mothers and fathers are     
mostly considered by their offspring as 
friend-enemies20 and that it is much    
better for parents to show to  their    
children that they are 8their best      
friends10 than to content  themselves   
with saying so4 ,it ought to be so1 that
 children would  feel that they could   
find no such appreciative sympathy from 
any other  person1 in their enjoyments  
or in their sorrows and trials1 as they 
are sure of from their parents4 ,this is
 so in some cases2 and wherever  it is  

so1 the parents have such power over and
 with their children as  would otherwise
 be impossible4 ,on the other hand1     
there are parents who  love their       
children without stint1 and who would   
die to promote their  welfare1 who      
actually have no sympathy with their    
children1 and who1  because of this lack
 of sympathy1 are without the freest    
confidences of  their children1 and are 
unable to sway them as they fain would4 
,the power of sympathy is not wholly a  
natural one4 ,it is largely  dependent  
upon cultivation4 ,an unsympathetic     
parent may persistently  train himself  
to a habit of sympathy with an          
unsympathetic child1 by  recognizing his
 duty of learning how the child thinks  
and feels1 and  by perceiving the gain  
of getting alongside of that child in   
loving  tenderness in order to bring him
 to a better way of thinking and        
feeling4 ,but if a parent and child are 
not in sympathy1 the best and  most     
unselfish love that that parent can give

 to that child will be  fruitless for   
such results in child-training as would 
be possible if  that love were directed 
by sympathy4          ,,xxvi4           
,,influence ,,of ,,the ,,home           
,,atmosphere4      ,in the world of     
nature1 life is dependent on the        
atmosphere4 ,whatever  else is secured1 
the atmosphere is essential to life's   
existence4 ,it  is1 in fact1 the        
atmosphere that gives the possibility of
 all the  varied forms of vegetable and 
animal life in the earth and the sea    
and the air4 ,so1 again1 the atmosphere 
brings death to every living  thing1 if 
elements that are hostile to life       
prevail in its composition4  ,when the  
question of the date of man's first     
appearance on our planet  is under      
discussion1 a chief factor in the       
unsolved problem is the  nature of the  
atmosphere of the earth at any given    
period of antiquity4  ,without a        
life-sustaining atmosphere1 life were an
 impossibility4  ,similarly1 the        

question of the probability of other    
planets being  inhabited1 pivots on this
 consideration4 ,life and death are in  
the  atmosphere4    ,it is not alone the
 component elements of the atmosphere   
that bring  life or death to all within 
its scope2 but the temperature and the  
measure of movement of the atmosphere go
 far to decide the degree  of life that 
shall be attained or preserved within   
the scope of its  influence4 ,unless    
there is a due measure of oxygen in the 
air1 the  atmosphere is death-giving4   
,without sufficient warmth to the air1  
its  oxygen is of no avail for the      
sustaining of life4 ,and even though the
  oxygen and the warmth be present1 the 
force of the swift-moving air may  carry
 death on its vigorous wings4 ,no       
gardener would depreciate the           
importance of a right atmosphere for his
 most highly prized plants2  nor would  
any wise physician undervalue the       
sanitary importance of  the atmospheric 
surroundings of his patients4 ,as it is 

in the natural  world1 so it is in the  
moral sphere3 life and death are in the 
atmosphere4    ,a vital question in     
connection with every home is1 ,is the  
atmosphere  of this home suited to the  
life and growth1 to the developing of   
the  vigor and beauty1 of a child's best
 nature8 ,that question cannot always   
be answered in the affirmative2 and     
where it cannot be1 it is of little  use
 to talk of the minor training agencies 
which are operative in  behalf of the   
children in that home4    ,the          
atmosphere of a home is the spirit of   
that home1 as evidenced in  the conduct 
and bearing of the parents1 and of all  
whom the parents  influence4 ,the       
atmosphere itself--there1 as in all the 
natural world--is  not seen1 but is     
felt4 ,its effects are clearly          
observable2 but as a  cause it is       
inferred rather than disclosed4 ,indeed1
 the better the  atmosphere in a home1  
the more quietly pervasive its          
influence4 ,only  as the home atmosphere

 is inimical to the best interests of   
those  who feel its power1 does that    
atmosphere make itself manifest as an   
atmosphere1 rather than give proof of   
its existence in results that  cannot   
otherwise be accounted for4    ,you     
enter one home1 and1 mingling with the  
family there1 you feel the  balmy air of
 love and sympathy4 ,parents and        
children seem to live  for one another1 
and to be in complete accord in all     
their enjoyments  and occupations2 and  
all is restful in the peace that abides 
there4  ,you are sure that everything in
 the moral and social atmosphere of     
that home tends to the fostering and    
growth of whatever is best in the       
child-nature4 ,it is obvious that it is 
easier for a child to be good1  and to  
do well1 in such a home as that1 than in
 many another home4    ,you enter       
another home1 and the chill of the      
household air strikes you  unpleasantly1
 at the first greeting given to you by  
any member of the  family4 ,there is a  

side of the child-nature that you know  
needs more  warmth than that for its    
developing4 ,again it is the burning    
heat of  an excited and ever-driving    
household life that you are confident is
  withering the more delicate and       
sensitive tendrils of the young hearts  
being trained there4 ,yet again1 it is  
the explosive storm-bursts of  passion  
which tear through the air1 that make a 
home a place of peril  to the young for 
the time being1 however it may seem in  
the lulls  between tempests4 ,in the one
 case as in the others1 it is the home  
atmosphere that settles the question of 
the final tendency of the home          
training4    ,in view of the importance 
of the home atmosphere1 parents ought to
  recognize their responsibility for the
 atmosphere of the home they  make and  
control4 ,it is not enough for parents  
to have a lofty ideal  for their        
children1 and to instruct and train     
those children in the  direction of that
 ideal4 ,they must see to it that the   

atmosphere  of their home is such as to 
foster and develop in their children    
those traits of character which their   
loftiest ideal embodies4 ,that          
atmosphere must be full of the pure     
oxygen of love to ,god and love to  man4
 ,it must be neither too hot in its     
intensity of social activities1  nor too
 cold in its expressions of family      
affection1 but balmy and  refreshing in 
its uniform temperature of household    
living and being4 ,it  must be gentle   
and peaceful in its manner and movement 
of sympathetic  intercourse4 ,all this  
it may be4 ,all this it ought to be4    
,every home has its atmosphere1 good or 
bad1 health-promoting or                
disease-breeding4 ,and parents are1 in  
every case1 directly responsible  for   
the nature of the atmosphere in their   
home2 whether they have acted  in       
recognition of this fact1 or have gone  
on without a thought of it4  ,in order  
to secure a right home atmosphere for   
their children1 parents  must themselves

 be right4 ,they must guard against     
poisoning the air  of the home with     
unloving words or thoughts2 against     
chilling it with  unsympathetic manners1
 or overheating it with exciting ways2  
against  disturbing its peaceful flow   
with restlessness1 with fault-findings1 
or  with bursts of temper4    ,parents  
must1 as it were1 keep their eyes on the
 barometer and the  thermometer of the  
social life of the home1 and see to it  
that its  temperature is safely         
moderated1 and that it is guarded       
against the  effect of sudden storms4   
,only as such care is taken by wise     
parents1  can the atmosphere in their   
home be what the needs of their children
  require it to be4          ,,xxvii4   
,,the ,,power ,,of ,a ,,mother',s       
,,love4      ,in estimating the agencies
 which combine for child-shaping through
  child-training1 the power of a        
mother's love cannot be overestimated4  
,there is no human love like a mother's 
love4 ,there is no human  tenderness    

like a mother's tenderness4 ,and there  
is no such time for a  mother's         
impressive display of her love and      
tenderness toward her child  as in the  
child's earliest years of his life4     
,that time neglected1 and  no future can
 make good the loss to either mother or 
child4 ,that time  improved1 and all the
 years that follow it shall give added  
proof of  its improvement4    ,even when
 a man seems to be dead to every other  
influence for good1  the recollection of
 a mother's prayers and a mother's tears
 often has  a hold upon him which he    
neither can nor would break away from4  
,and a  mother is so much to a man when 
he is a man1 just because she was all   
in all to him when he was a child4      
,although ,god calls himself our        
,father1 he compares his love with  the 
love of a mother1 when he would disclose
 to us the depth of its  tenderness1 and
 its matchless fidelity4 8,as one whom  
his mother  comforteth1 so will ,i      
comfort you10 he says1 as if in         

invitation to the  sinner to come like a
 grieved and tired child1 and lay down  
his weary  head on his mother's         
shoulder1 where he is sure of rest and  
sympathy1  and of words of comfort and  
cheer4 8,can a woman forget her nursing 
child1 that she should not have         
compassion on the son of her womb80     
asks ,god1 as if to turn attention to   
that which is truest and firmest  of    
anything we can know of human affection 
and fidelity4 ,and then to  show that he
 is a yet surer support than even       
mothers prove to their  loved children1 
he adds1 8,yea1 they may forget1 yet    
will not ,i forget  thee40    ,david1   
the man after ,god's own heart1 could   
find no words which could  express his  
abiding confidence in ,god1 like those  
wherein he declares1  8,when my father  
and my mother forsake me1 then the ,lord
 will take me  up40 ,nor could he find  
any figure of the profoundest depth of  
human  sorrow more forcible than that in
 which he says of himself1 8,i bowed    

down heavily1 as one that mourneth for  
his mother40 ,when ,david's  greater    
,son was hanging on the cross in agony1 
with the weight of  a lost world upon   
him1 he could forget all his personal   
suffering1  and could turn1 as it were1 
for a moment1 from the work of eternal  
redemption1 to recognize the tenderness 
and fidelity of his agonized  mother at 
his feet1 and to commend her with his   
dying breath to the  faithful ministry  
of the disciple whom he loved4    ,the  
,bible abounds with pictures of loving  
mothers and of a mother's               
love1--,hagar1 weeping in the desert    
over her famishing boy2 ,rachel         
mourning for her children1 refusing to  
be comforted because they were  not2    
,jochebed playing the servant to secure 
the privilege of nursing  her babe for  
the daughter of ,pharaoh2 ,hannah joying
 before ,god over  her treasure of a    
longed-for son2 the true mother in the  
presence  of ,solomon1 ready to lose her
 child that it might be saved2 ,rizpah1 

watching on the hill-top the hanging    
bodies of her murdered sons1 month      
after month1 from the beginning of      
harvest until the autumn rains1         
suffering 8neither the birds of the air 
to rest on them by day1 nor  the beasts 
of the field by night20 the wife of     
,jeroboam1 longing to be  at the bedside
 of her dying son1 and torn at heart    
with the thought  that as soon as she   
should reach him there he must die2 the 
widow  of ,zarephath1 and the           
,shunammite woman1 securing the         
intercession  of the prophet for the    
restoration to life of their dead       
darlings2  the mother of ,james and     
,john pleading with ,jesus for favors to
 her  sons2 the ,syro-,phnician woman   
venturing everything1 and refusing to   
be put aside1 that she might win a      
blessing from ,him who alone was  able  
to restore to health and freedom her    
grievously vexed daughter2  the mother  
of ,timothy1 teaching her son lessons by
 which the world  is still profiting2   

and so on through a long list of those  
who were  representative mothers1 chosen
 of ,god for a place in the sacred      
record1  and whose like are about us    
still on every side4    ,and the ,bible 
injunctions concerning mothers are as   
positive as the  examples of their      
loving ministry are numerous4 8,honor   
thy father and  thy mother0 is a        
commandment which has pre-eminence in   
the reward  attached to it4 8,forsake   
not the law of thy mother10 said        
,solomon2  8and despise not thy mother  
when she is old40 ,it is indeed a       
8foolish  man10 as well as an unnatural 
one1 who 8despiseth his mother10 or who 
fails to give her gratitude and love so 
long as she is spared to him4  ,in all  
ages and everywhere1 the true children  
of a true mother 8rise  up and call her 
blessed20 for they realize1 sooner or   
later1 that ,god  gives no richer       
blessing to man than is found in a      
mother's love4 ,even  in the days when a
 queen-wife was a slave1 a queen-mother 

was looked  up to with reverence1 not   
because she had been a queen1 but       
because  she was still the king's       
mother4 8,a mother dead60 wrote gruff   
and  tender-hearted ,carlyle4 8,it is an
 epoch for us all2 and to each one of   
us it comes with a pungency as if       
peculiar1 a look as of originality  and 
singularity40 ,and it was of the mother 
whose death called out this             
ejaculation1 of whom1 while she was     
still living1 ,carlyle had written1  8,i
 thought1 if ,i had all the mothers ,i  
ever saw to choose from1 ,i would  have 
chosen my own40    ,a mother can never  
be replaced4 ,she will be missed and    
mourned when she  has passed away1      
however she may be undervalued by the   
8foolish son0 to  whom she still gives  
the wealth of her unappreciated         
affection4 ,indeed1  the true man never1
 while his mother is alive1 outgrows a  
certain sense  of dependence on a loving
 mother's sympathy and care4 ,his hair  
may  be whitened with age2 he may have  

children1 and even grandchildren1       
looking up to him in respect and        
affection2 but while his mother lives   
she is his mother1 and he is her boy4   
,and when she dies he for the  first    
time realizes the desolateness of a     
motherless son4 ,there is  then no one  
on earth to whom he can look up with the
 never-doubting  confidence and the     
never-lacking restfulness of a tired    
child to a  loving mother4 ,there is a  
shelter taken away from above his head1 
and  he seems to stand unprotected1 as  
never before1 from the smiting sun  and 
the driving storms of life's pilgrimage4
 ,he can no more be called  8,my dear   
son0 in those tones which no music of   
earth can equal4 ,to him  always3       
8,a mother is a mother still1    ,the   
holiest thing alive40    ,biography is  
rich with illustrations of this truth1  
although the  man whose mother is still 
spared to him need not go beyond his own
  experience to recognize its force4    
,here1 for example1 is testy old ,dr4   

,johnson1 bearish and boorish in many   
things4 ,when he is fifty years  old1   
and his mother is ninety1 he writes to  
her in tenderness3 8,you  have been the 
best mother1 and1 ,i believe1 the best  
woman1 in the  world4 ,i thank you for  
your indulgence to me1 and beg          
forgiveness of  all that ,i have done   
ill1 and of all that ,i have omitted to 
do well40  ,how many men there are whom 
the world little thinks of as           
child-like1  who could make these words 
their own1 and set their hands to them  
with  ,johnson's closing assurance1 8,i 
am1 dear1 dear mother1 your dutiful     
son40 ,and the lion-hearted ,luther1 who
 seems better suited to thunder         
defiance at spiritual oppressors than to
 speak words of trustful  affection to a
 kind-hearted woman1 turns from his     
religious warfare  to write to his aged 
and dying mother3 8,i am deeply         
sorrowful that  ,i cannot be with you in
 the flesh1 as ,i fain would be40 8,all 
your  children pray for you40    ,st4   

,augustine has been called the most     
important convert to the  truth from    
,st4 ,paul to ,luther4 ,near the close  
of his eventful life1  ,st4 ,augustine  
said3 8,it is to my mother that ,i owe  
everything4 ,if ,i  am thy child1 ,o my 
,god6 it is because thou gavest me such 
a mother4  ,if ,i prefer the truth to   
all things1 it is the fruit of my       
mother's  teachings4 ,if ,i did not long
 ago perish in sin and misery1 it is    
because of the long and faithful years  
which she pleaded for me40 ,and  of his 
mother's remembered devotedness to him1 
he said at the time of  her death3 8,o  
my ,god6 what comparison is there       
between the honor that ,i  paid to her1 
and her slavery for me80    ,john       
,quincy ,adams's mother lived to be     
seventy-four2 but he had not  outgrown  
his sense of personal dependence upon   
her1 when she was taken  away4 8,my     
mother was an angel upon earth10 he     
wrote4 8,she was the real               
personification of female virtue1 of    

piety1 of charity1 of ever-active  and  
never-intermitting benevolence4 ,o ,god6
 could she have been spared  yet a      
little longer60 8,i have enjoyed but for
 short seasons1 and at  long1 distant   
intervals1 the happiness of her society1
 yet she has been  to me more than a    
mother4 ,she has been a spirit from     
above watching  over me for good1 and   
contributing1 by my mere consciousness  
of her  existence1 to the comfort of my 
life4 ,that consciousness has gone1 and 
without her the world feels to me like a
 solitude40 ,when ,president  ,nott1 of 
,union ,college1 was more than ninety   
years old1 and had been  for half a     
century a college president1 as strength
 and sense failed  him in his dying     
hours1 the memory of his mother's love  
was fresh and  potent1 and he could be  
hushed to needed sleep by patting him   
gently on  the shoulder1 and singing to 
him the familiar lullabies of long ago1 
after the fashion of that mother1 who he
 fancied was still at hand to  care for 

him4    ,lord ,macaulay has been called 
a cold-hearted man1 but he was never    
unmindful of the unique preciousness of 
a mother's love4 ,he it was who  said3  
8,in after life you may have friends1   
fond1 dear1 kind friends1  but never    
will you have again the inexpressible   
love and gentleness  lavished upon you  
which a mother bestows4 ,often do ,i    
sigh1 in my  struggles with the hard1   
uncaring world1 for the sweet deep      
security  ,i felt when1 of an evening1  
nestling in her bosom1 ,i listened to   
some  quiet tale1 suitable to my age1   
read in her untiring voice4 ,never can  
,i forget her sweet glances cast upon me
 when ,i appeared asleep2 never1  her   
kiss of peace at night4 ,years have     
passed since we laid her beside  my     
father in the old churchyard1 yet still 
her voice whispers from the  grave and  
her eye watches over me as ,i visit     
spots long since hallowed  to the memory
 of my mother40    ,napoleon ,bonaparte1
 with all his self-reliance and personal

  independence of character1 never      
ceased to look up to his mother with  a 
reverent affection1 and he was          
accustomed to say that he owed all  that
 he was1 and all that he had1 to her    
character and loving ministry4  8,ah1   
what a woman6 where shall we look for   
her equal80 he said of  her4 8,she      
watched over us with a solicitude       
unexampled4 ,every low  sentiment1 every
 ungenerous affection1 was discouraged  
and discarded4  ,she suffered nothing   
but that which was grand and elevated to
 take root  in our youthful             
understandings4444 ,losses1 privations1 
fatigue1 had no  effect on her4 ,she    
endured all1 braved all4 ,she had the   
energy of a man  combined with the      
gentleness and delicacy of a woman40    
,when all else seemed lost to him1 as he
 lay a lonely prisoner on the  shores of
 ,st4 ,helena1 ,napoleon was sure of one
 thing4 8,my mother loves  me10 he said2
 and the thought of his mother's love   
was a comfort to him  then4 ,he who had 

felt able to rule a world unaided1 was  
not above a  sense of grateful          
dependence on a love like that4 8,my    
opinion is10 he  said1 8that the future 
good or bad conduct of a child depends  
entirely  upon its mother40    ,a young 
army officer lay dying1 at the close of 
our ,american civil  war4 ,he had been  
much away from home even before the war2
 and now for  four years he had been a  
soldier in active army service4 ,on many
 a  field of battle he had faced death  
fearlessly1 and in many an hour of      
privation and hardship he had been      
dependent on his own strength and       
resources4 ,what could more have tended 
to wean a man from reliance on a        
mother's presence and sustaining care8  
,the soldier's mind was wandering  now4 
,it was in the early morning1 after a   
wakeful1 restless night4  ,exciting     
scenes were evidently before his mind's 
eye4 ,the enemy was  pressing him       
sorely4 ,he was anxious as to his       
position4 ,he gave orders  rapidly and  

with vehemence4 ,his subordinates seemed
 to be failing him4  ,everything was    
apparently wrong4 ,just then the young  
officer's mother1  who had come from the
 ,north to watch over him1 entered the  
room where  he lay4 ,as the door opened 
for her coming1 he turned toward it his 
troubled face1 as if expecting a new    
enemy to confront him4 ,instantly1  as  
he saw who was there1 his countenance   
changed1 the look of anxiety  passed    
away1 the eye softened1 the struggle of 
doubt and fear was at an  end1 and with 
a deep-drawn sigh of relief he said in a
 tone of restful  confidence1 8,ah1     
mother's come6 ,it's all right now60    
,and the troubled  veteran soldier was a
 soothed child again4    ,soldier1      
statesman1 scholar1 divine2 every man is
 a child to his  mother1 to the last2   
and it is the best that is in a man that
 keeps  him always in this              
child-likeness toward his loving mother4
 ,were it  not for the power of a       
mother's love1 that best and truest side

 of a  man's nature would never be      
developed1 for the man's good and for   
the  mother's reward4 ,it costs         
something to be a good mother2 but there
 is  no reward which earth can give to  
be compared with that love which a      
faithful mother wins and holds from the 
son of her love4 ,oh6 if good  mothers  
could only know how much they are doing 
for their children by  their patient1   
long-suffering1 gentle ways with them1  
and how sure  these children are to see 
and feel this by and by1 the saddest of 
them  would be less sad and more        
hopeful1 while toiling and enduring so  
faithfully1 with perhaps apparently so  
slight a return4          ,,xxviii4     
,,allowing ,,play ,,to ,a ,,child',s    
,,imagination4      ,imagination is a   
larger factor in the thoughts and       
feelings of a child  than in the        
thoughts and feelings of an adult2 and  
this truth needs to  be recognized in   
all wise efforts at a child's training4 
,the mind of a  child is full of images 

which the child knows to be unreal1 but 
which  are none the less vivid and      
impressive for being unreal4 ,it is     
often  right1 therefore1 to allow play  
to a child's imagination1 when it would 
not be right to permit the child to say1
 or to say to the child1 that  which is 
false4    ,a child who is hardly old    
enough to speak perceives the difference
  between fact and fancy1 and is able to
 see that the unreal is not  always the 
false4 ,hence a very young child can    
understand that to  8make believe0 to   
him is not to attempt to deceive him4 ,a
 child in his  mother's lap1 who is not 
yet old enough to stand alone1 is ready 
to  pull at a string fastened to a chair
 in front of his mother's seat1 and     
play that he is driving a horse4 ,as he 
grows older1 he will straddle  a stick  
and call that riding horseback2 telling 
his parent1 perhaps1  of the good long  
ride he is taking4 ,not only is it not a
 parent's duty  to tell that child that 
the chair or the stick is not a horse1  

but it  would be unfair1 as well as     
unkind1 to insist on that child's       
admission  that his possession of a     
horse is only in his fancy4    ,the     
child is here not deceived to begin     
with2 therefore1 of course1 he  does not
 need to be undeceived4 ,yet it would be
 wrong for the parent  to permit his    
child to say1 as if in reality1 that he 
had been taken  out to ride by his      
father1 when nothing of the kind had    
happened4 ,in  the latter case the      
statement would be a false one1 while in
 the former  case it would be only a    
stretch of fancy4 ,the child as well as 
the  parent would have no difficulty in 
recognizing the difference between  the 
two statements4    ,a little girl will  
delight herself with setting a table    
with buttons  for plates and cups1 from 
which she will serve bread and cake and 
tea to her invited guests2 and she will 
be lovingly grateful for her  mother's  
apparently hearty suggestion that 8this 
tea is of a fine  flavor10 when she     

would feel hurt if her mother were to   
tell her1  coolly and cruelly1 that it  
was only a dry button which had been    
passed  as a cup of tea4 ,the fancy in  
this case is truer by far than the fact4
  ,there is no deception in it2 but     
there is in it the power of an ideal    
reality4 ,and it is by the dolls and    
other playthings of childhood that  some
 of the truest instincts of manhood and 
of womanhood are developed  and         
cultivated in the progress of all right 
child-training4    ,it is in view of    
this distinction that the story of      
,santa ,claus and  ,christmas ,eve may  
be made one of reprehensible falsity1 or
 one of  allowable fancy4 ,the          
underlying idea of ,santa ,claus is1    
that on the  birth-night of the ,holy   
,child ,jesus there comes a messenger   
from him  to bring good gifts to        
children4 ,so far the idea is truth4    
,just how  the messenger from ,jesus    
comes1 and just who he is1 are matters  
in  the realm of fancy4 ,the child is   

entitled to know the truth1 and is      
entitled also to indulge in a measure of
 fancy4 ,for a parent to take a  child1 
the night before1 and show him all the  
,christmas gifts arranged  in a drawer  
as preparatory to the stocking-filling1 
leaving no room for  the sweet          
indulgings of fancy1 would neither be   
wise nor be kind4 ,it  would not accord 
with the ,god-given needs of the child's
 nature4 ,nor1  again1 would it be wise 
or kind for the parent to tell the full 
story  of ,santa ,claus and his         
reindeers as if it were an absolute     
literal  fact4 ,children have1 indeed1  
been frightened by the belief that      
,santa  ,claus would come down the      
chimney at night1 and would refuse them 
presents if they were awake at his      
coming2 and this is all wrong4 ,the     
child should be taught the truth as the 
truth1 and indulged in the  fancy as    
fancy4    ,it is1 indeed1 much the same 
in this realm as in the ,bible realm4   
,to  say that ,jesus is the ,good       

,shepherd is to present a truth in the  
guise  of fancy2 and unless a child is  
helped to know the measure of truth and 
to perceive the sweep of fancy1 there is
 a danger of trouble in using  this     
,bible figure2 for it is a fact that    
children have suffered from  the thought
 that they were to be literal 8lambs0 in
 the ,saviour's fold4  ,this recognition
 of the limits between the fanciful and 
the false needs  to be borne in mind at 
every stage of a child's training4 ,the 
false is  not to be tolerated4 ,the     
fanciful is to be allowed a large place4
    ,this truth applies also to the     
realm of fairy-tale reading4 ,a child   
can read choice fairy tales1            
understanding that they are fanciful1   
with less danger to his mind and        
character than he would incur in the    
reading of a falsely colored religious  
story-book4 ,in the one case he  knows  
that the narration is wholly fanciful1  
while in the other case he  is liable to
 be misled through the belief that what 

is both fictitious  and false may have  
been a reality4 ,not the wholly         
fanciful1 but the  fictitiously false1  
in a child's reading1 is most likely to 
be a means  of permanent harm to him4   
,a child's imagination can safely be    
allowed large play1 in his  amusements1 
in his speech1 and in his reading4 ,he  
knows the difference  between the       
fanciful and the false quite as well as 
his parents do4  ,it is the line between
 the false and the real in moral fiction
 that  he needs help in defining4 ,it   
will be well for him if he has parents  
who understand that distinction1 and who
 are ready to give him help             
accordingly4          ,,xxix4           
,,giving ,,added ,,value ,,to ,a        
,,child',s ,,christmas4      ,christmas 
is a day of days to the little folks1   
because of the gifts it  brings to them4
 ,but ,christmas gifts have a greater or
 a lesser value in  the eyes of children
 according to the measure of the giver's
 self which  is given with them4 ,it is 

not that children intelligently prize   
their  gifts1 as older persons are      
likely to1 in proportion as they read in
  them the proofs of the giver's loving 
labor in their preparation4 ,but  it is 
that to children the ,christmas gifts by
 themselves are of minor  value1 in     
comparison with the interest excited in 
the manner of their  giving1 through    
labors that really represent the giver's
 self1 whether  the children perceive   
this1 at the time1 or not4    ,the      
,christmas stocking and the ,christmas  
tree give added value to the  gifts that
 they cover2 and neither tree nor       
stocking can be made ready  for         
,christmas morning without patient and  
loving labor1 on the part of  the       
parents1 during the night before4       
,moreover1 beyond the dazzling          
attractions of the ornamented tree1 and 
the suggestive outline of the  bulging  
stocking1 the more there is to provoke  
curiosity and to incite  endeavor1 on   
the children's part1 in the finding and 

securing of their  ,christmas portion1  
the better the children like it1 and the
 more they  value that which is thus    
made theirs4    ,it takes time and work 
and skill to make the most1 for the     
children1  of a ,christmas morning2 but 
it pays to do this for the darlings1    
while  they still are children4 ,they   
will never forget it2 and it will be  a 
precious memory to them all their life  
through4 ,it is one of the              
child-training agencies which a parent  
ought to be glad to use for good4       
,one good man might be named who has    
brought to perfection the art of  making
 ,christmas delightful to children4 ,he 
has no children of his  own2 so he makes
 it his mission to give happiness to    
other people's  children4 ,the story of 
bright and varied ,christmas methods in 
his home  would fill a little volume4   
,his plans for ,christmas are never     
twice  alike2 hence the children whom he
 gathers say truly1 8,there was never   
anything like this before40 ,take a     

single ,christmas for example4  ,this   
child-lover was busy getting ready for  
it for weeks in advance4  ,money he     
spent freely1 but he did not stop with  
that4 ,day and evening1  with a loving  
sister's help1 he worked away getting   
everything just  to his mind--which was 
sure to be just to the children's mind4 
,at last  ,christmas eve was here2 so   
were the children--nieces and nephews1  
and others more remote of kin1 gathered 
in his home to wait for the  hoped-for  
day4    ,christmas morning came at last4
 ,waking and sleeping dreams had all    
been  full of coming delights to the    
children2 for they knew enough from the 
past to be sure that good was in store  
for them4 ,no one overslept1 that       
morning4 ,according to orders1 they     
gathered in the breakfast-room4  ,their 
stockings were hanging from the mantel1 
but limp and empty4 ,not  one suspicious
 package or box was to be seen4         
,breakfast was first out  of the way1   
that the morning might be free for a    

right good time4 ,then  the day was     
fairly open4 ,each went to his or her   
stocking4 ,there was  nothing in it but 
a little card1 pendent from a thread    
coming over  the mantel edge4 ,on that  
card was a rhyming call to follow the   
thread  wherever it might lead2 somewhat
 after this form3      8,charley1 dear1 
if you'll follow your nose1      ,and   
your nose will follow this string       
,throughout the house1 wherever it      
goes1--      ,you will come to a pretty 
thing40    ,every stocking told the same
 story1 in varied form1 and every child 
stood holding a frail thread1 wondering 
to what it would lead1 and  waiting the 
signal for a start4 ,at the word1 all   
were off together4    ,it was a rare old
 house1 richly furnished with treasures 
of art and  fancy from all the world    
over4 ,the breakfast-room was heavily   
paneled  in carved wood and hung with   
ancient ,gobelin tapestry4 ,the threads 
which the children followed passed back 
of the large ,swiss clock1 along  the   

wall under the tapestry1 out by the     
parlor with its ,cordova-leather        
panels1 into a picture-hung reception   
room1 and there mounted to the  ceiling 
above1 up through a colored glass       
sky-light4 ,when the children  saw that1
 they scampered through the marble-tiled
 hall1 up the broad  polished walnut    
staircase to the passage above1 and     
there drew up their  threads1 and       
started on a new hunt4    ,from this    
fresh point of departure the different  
threads took separate  directions4 ,they
 led hither and thither1 the children   
following1 almost  holding their breaths
 with the excitement of pursuit and     
expectation4  ,along the corridor walls1
 under rows of ,saracen tiles and       
,italian  majolica and ,svres porcelain1
 back of old paintings1 through the     
well-filled library1 into and out of    
closets stored with fishing-tackle  and 
hunting-gear1 through rooms spread with 
,turkish mats and rich with  coverings  
of ,persian embroidery1 up into the     

third story1 and down  along the under  
side of the banister rail1 back to the  
lower floor1  again the threads led the 
way and the children followed4 ,it was a
 happy  hour for old and young4    ,by  
and by the threads came once more to a  
common point1 passing under a  closed   
door out of a rear hall1 where a printed
 placard called on each  child to wait  
until all were together4 ,one by one    
they came up with  beaming faces and    
bounding hearts4 ,the door was opened4  
,there in the  center of the disclosed  
room were seven mammoth pasteboard      
,christmas  boots1 holding from one to  
three pecks each1 marked with the names 
of  the several children1 and filled to 
overflowing4 ,each child seized a  boot1
 and hurried1 as directed1 back to the  
breakfast-room4    ,then came new       
surprises4 ,all hands sat on the floor  
together4 ,only one  package at a time  
was opened1 that all might enjoy the    
disclosures to  the full4 ,and there    
were unlooked-for directions on many a  

package4  ,one child would take a       
package from her ,christmas boot1 and1  
on  removing the first wrapper1 would   
find a written announcement that  the   
package was to be handed over to her    
cousin4 ,a little later1 the  cousin    
would be directed to pass along another 
package to a third one  of the party4   
,and so the morning went by4 ,how happy 
those children  were6 ,what life-long   
memories of enjoyment were then made for
 them6 ,and  how thoroughly the good    
uncle and aunt enjoyed that morning with
 its  happiness which they had created6 
,there were elegant and fitting presents
 found in those ,christmas boots2  but  
the charm of that day was in the        
mysteries of that pursuing chase  all   
over that beautiful house1 and in the   
excitements of prolonged  anticipation  
and wonder4 ,those children will never  
have done enjoying  that morning4 ,the  
choicest gifts then received by them had
 an added  value because their generous 
giver had put so much of himself into   

their preparation and distribution4 ,and
 this is but an illustration of  a truth
 that is applicable in the whole realm  
of efforts at gladdening  the hearts of 
the little ones on ,christmas or any    
other day4 ,it  matters not1 so far1    
whether the home be one of abundance or 
of close  limitations1 whether the gifts
 be many or few1 costly of inexpensive4 
,he who would make children happy must  
do for them and do with them1  rather   
than merely give to them4 ,he must give 
himself with his gifts1  and thus       
imitate and illustrate1 in a degree1 the
 love of ,him who gave  himself to us1  
who is touched with the sense of our    
enjoyments as  well as our needs1 and   
who1 with all that ,he gives us1 holds  
out an  expectation of some better thing
 in store for us3 of that which passeth 
knowledge and understanding1 but which  
shall fully satisfy our hopes  and      
longings when at last we have it in     
possession4          ,,xxx4             
,,good-,,night ,,words4      ,if there  

is one time more than another when      
children ought to hear only  loving     
words from their parents1 and be helped 
to feel that theirs is a  home of love  
and gladness1 it is when they are going 
to bed at night4  ,good-night words to a
 child ought to be the best of words1 as
 they are  words of greatest potency4   
,yet not every parent realizes this     
important  truth1 nor does every child  
have the benefit of it4    ,the last    
waking thoughts of a child have a       
peculiar power over his mind  and heart1
 and are influential in fixing his      
impressions and in shaping  his         
character for all time4 ,when he turns  
from play and playmates1 and  leaves the
 busy occupations of his little world1  
to lie down by himself  to sleep1 a     
child has a sense of loneliness and     
dependence which he  does not feel at   
another time4 ,then he craves sympathy2 
he appreciates  kindness2 he is grieved 
by harshness or cold neglect4    ,how   
glad a true child is to kneel by his    

mother's knee to pray his  evening      
prayer1 or to have his father kneel with
 him as he prays6 ,how  he enjoys words 
of approval or encouragement when they  
precede the good  night kiss from either
 parent6 ,with what warm and grateful   
affection  his young heart glows as he  
feels the tender impress of his mother's
  hand or lips upon his forehead before 
he drops asleep4 ,how bright and  dear  
to him that home seems at such an hour6 
,how sorry he is for every  word or act 
of unkindness which he then recalls from
 his conduct of the  day6 ,how ready he 
then is to confess his specific acts of 
misdoing1 and  all his remembered       
failures1 and to make new resolves and  
purposes of  better doing for the       
future6    ,whatever else a child is    
impatient to grow away from1 he does not
  readily outgrow the enjoyment of his  
mother's good-night4 ,as long as  she is
 willing to visit his bedside1 and give 
him a kiss1 with a  loving word1 just   
before he goes to sleep1 he is sure to  

count that  privilege of his home as    
something above price1 and without which
 he  would have a sense of sad lack4    
,and at no time is he more sure than    
then to be ready to do whatever his     
mother would ask of him2 at no time  do 
gentle1 tender words of loving counsel  
from her sink deeper into his  heart1 or
 make an impression more abiding and    
influential4    ,there are young men and
 women1 still at their childhood's home1
 who  look for their mother's coming to 
give them her good-night kiss1  with no 
less of interest and grateful affection 
than when they were  little boys and    
girls4 ,and there are many more         
people--both young and  old--away from  
their homes1 who thank ,god with all    
their hearts for the  ineffaceable      
memories of such tokens of their dear   
mother's love1 while  yet they were with
 her4    ,notwithstanding this1 however1
 there is perhaps no one thing in which 
parents generally are more liable to err
 than in impatient or unloving  words to

 their children when the little ones are
 going to bed4 ,the  parents are tired1 
and their stock of patience is at the   
lowest4 ,if the  children are not as    
quiet and orderly and prompt as they    
should be1 the  parents rebuke them more
 sharply than they would for similar    
offenses  earlier in the day4 ,too often
 children go to bed smarting under a    
sense  of injustice from their parents1 
and brood over their troubles as they   
try to quiet themselves down to sleep4  
,their pillows are often wet with  their
 tears of sorrow1 and their little      
hearts are1 perhaps1 embittered  and    
calloused through the abiding           
impressions of the wrong they have      
suffered1 or the harshness they have    
experienced1 while they were most       
susceptible to parental influences for  
good or ill4    ,it is a simple matter  
of fact that some parents actually      
postpone the  punishment of their       
children for the misdeeds of the day    
until the  leisure hour of twilight and 

bed-time4 ,a great many mothers besides 
the  8old woman who lived in a shoe10 in
 providing for a large family of        
children1 have often 8whipped them all  
soundly1 and sent them to bed40         
,perhaps children1 as a rule1 receive   
more whippings at bed-time than at  any 
other of the twenty-four hours4 ,and    
unquestionably they then have  more     
scoldings4    8,do you hear me1         
children80 sounds out the voice of many 
a mother into  the nursery as the       
children are getting to bed4 8,if you   
don't stop  playing and talking1 and go 
right to sleep1 ,i'll come up there and 
just  make you40 ,and that is the echo  
of that mother's voice which rings      
longest in her children's ears4         
,again1 there are mothers who1 without  
any thought of unkindness1  are unwise  
enough to deliberately refuse a         
good-night kiss to their  children1 as a
 penalty for some slight misconduct2 not
 realizing the  essential cruelty of    
withholding from the little ones this   

assurance of  affection1 at a time when 
the tender heart prizes it above all    
else4  ,the first effect of such a      
course as this is to cause bitterness of
  grief to the children4 ,the repetition
 of such a course is liable to  loosen  
the parent's loving hold on the little  
ones1 and to diminish  the value of the 
good-night kiss4 ,it is1 indeed1        
probably true1 that  more children out  
of reputable homes are soured1 and      
estranged1 and are  turned astray1      
through harshness and injustice1 or by  
unwise severity1  at their bed-time     
hour1 than from any other provoking     
cause in their  home-life4    ,even     
where there is no harshness of manner or
 severity of treatment on  the part of  
the parents1 there is often an unwise   
giving of prominence1  just then1 to a  
child's faults and failures1 so as to   
sadden and  depress the child unduly1   
and to cast a shade over that hour which
  ought to be the most hopeful and      
restful of all the waking hours4        

,whatever is said by a parent in the    
line of instruction toward a better     
course1 at such a time1 should be in the
 way of holding up a standard  to be    
reached out after1 rather than of       
rebuking the child's misdoings  and     
shortcomings in the irrevocable past4   
,the latest waking impressions  of every
 day1 on every child1 ought to be       
impressions of peace and joy  and holy  
hope4    ,a sensitive1 timid little boy1
 long years ago1 was accustomed to lie  
down to sleep in a low 8trundle-bed10   
which was rolled under his  parents' bed
 by day1 and was brought out for his use
 by night4 ,as he  lay there by himself 
in the darkness1 he could hear the      
voices of his  parents1 in their lighted
 sitting-room1 across the hall-way1 on  
the  other side of the house4 ,it seemed
 to him that his parents never slept2   
for he left them awake when he was put  
to bed at night1 and he found  them     
awake when he left his bed in the       
morning4 ,so far this thought was  a    

cause of cheer to him1 as his mind was  
busy with imaginings in the  weird      
darkness of his lonely room4    ,after  
loving good-night words and kisses had  
been given him by both  his patents1 and
 he had nestled down to rest1 this      
little boy was  accustomed1 night after 
night1 to rouse up once more1 and to    
call out  from his trundle-bed to his   
strong-armed father1 in the room from   
which  the light gleamed out1 beyond the
 shadowy hall-way1 8,are you there1     
papa80 ,and the answer would come back  
cheerily1 8,yes1 my child1 ,i am  here40
 8,you'll take care of me to-night1     
papa2 won't you80 was then his          
question4 8,yes1 ,i'll take care of you1
 my child10 was the comforting          
response4 8,go to sleep now4            
,good-night40 ,and the little fellow    
would  fall asleep restfully1 in the    
thought of those assuring good-night    
words4    ,a little matter that was to  
the loving father2 but it was a great   
matter to the sensitive son4 ,it helped 

to shape the son's life4 ,it  gave the  
father an added hold on him2 and it     
opened up the way for his  clearer      
understanding of his dependence on the  
loving watchfulness of  the             
,all-,father4 ,and to this day when that
 son1 himself a father and a            
grandfather1 lies down to sleep at      
night1 he is accustomed1 out of the     
memories of that lesson of long ago1 to 
look up through the shadows  of his     
earthly sleeping-place into the far-off 
light of his ,father's  presence1 and to
 call out1 in the same spirit of        
child-like trust and  helplessness as so
 long ago1 8,father1 you'll take care of
 me to-night2  won't you80 ,and he hears
 the assuring answer come back1 8,he    
that  keepeth thee will not slumber4    
,the ,lord shall keep thee from all     
evil4  ,he shall keep thy soul4 ,sleep1 
my child1 in peace40 ,and so he realizes
  the twofold blessing of a father's    
good-night words4    ,a wise parent will
 prize and will rightly use the hour of 

the  children's bed-time4 ,that is the  
golden hour for good impressions on  the
 children's hearts4 ,that is the        
parent's choicest opportunity of  holy  
influence4 ,there should be no severity 
then1 no punishment at that  time4      
,every word spoken in that hour should  
be a word of gentleness and  affection4 
,the words which are most likely to be  
borne in mind by the  children1 in all  
their later years1 as best illustrating 
the spirit and  influence of their      
parents1 are the good-night words of    
those parents4  ,and it may be that     
those words are the last that the       
parents shall ever  have the privilege  
of speaking to their children2 for every
 night of  sleep is a pregnant          
suggestion of the night of the last     
sleep4 ,let1  then1 the good-night words
 of parents to their children be always 
those  words by which the parents would 
be glad to be remembered when their     
voices are forever hushed2 and which    
they themselves can recall gladly  if   

their children's ears are never again   
open to good-night words from  them4    
,,index4        ,abraham as a           
child-trainer1 #ad1 #ae4                
,accidents1 sympathy with children in1  
#bee4      ,adams1 ,john ,quincy1 on the
 mother-love1 #bga4      ,addison1      
,joseph1 on reading1 #age4              
,affectation1 of grief1 for selfish     
ends1 #ih4      ,afraid1 when a child is
 old enough to be1 #acj4      ,allowing 
play to a child's imagination1 #bgg-bhb 
7see ,imagination74      ,ambidextrous1 
gain of being1 #ei4      ,amusements3   
training a child in1 #aee-afd2          
necessary to children1 #aee2      bad   
companionship to be avoided in1 #aei2   
should have no element of chance1 #afj2 
should not involve late hours1 #afa2    
a choice of reading in1 #agf4           
,anger3      never right in conference  
with a child1 #dd2      never punish a  
child in1 #bje-baf2      defined1 #bje1 
#bjf2      confession by a parent of its
 influence on him1 #bji2      its       

exhibit as 8indignation0 in punishing1  
#bab2      illustration of its evil on  
the mission-school superintendent1 #bac4
      ,animals3      training better    
than breaking for them1 #ej2      their 
knowledge through training1 #adc2       
gain of calmness in training them1 #bbj4
      ,answering3      a child's request
 deliberately1 #ajg2      a child's     
questions1 importance of1 #abb2         
wise methods of1 #abd-abh4              
,apologizing1 duty and manliness of1    
#agb4      ,appetite3      early control
 of1 possible1 #ii2      training a     
child's1 #aji-aah4      ,assertion1     
self1 inconsistent with courtesy1 #aff4 
,atmosphere1 influence of the home1     
#beg-bfb4        ,,bad boy1 the3        
some traits of1 #bjg2      example of1  
in a mission-school1 #bac4      ,bashful
 child1 the1 #ah4      ,bedtime3      a 
child's impressibility at1 #bia-bic2    
a parent's irritability at1 #bic-bie2   
mistakes of parents at1 #bie-big2       
illustrative memories of1 #big-cjj4     

,beginning3      of training for a      
child1 #ae2      of a child's           
self-control1 #id4      ,bending a      
child's will1 distinguished from its    
breaking1 #ch4      ,best things kept   
for ,sunday1 #adf4      ,bible-study on 
,sunday is not always worship1 #adb4    
,books see ,reading4      ,braddock and 
,washington as contrasting cowardice and
 fear1 #bbe4      ,bravery consistent   
with fear1 #bbe4      ,breaking a       
child's will is never right1 #dg-eb4    
,bushnell1 ,horace3      on giving a    
premium to a child's fretting1 #ig2     
on rewarding silence with 8dainties10   
#ig2      on a parent's sympathy with a 
child's plays1 #aeg f2      on the place
 for a parental explosion against evil1 
#bab4        ,,candy3      used wrongly1
 #ig1 #aaf2      reserved for ,sunday1  
#adh4      ,censure3      few words     
better than many in1 #bbj2      a       
child's sorrow from a playmate's1 #bdc2 
evil of unsympathetic1 #bed4            
,centripetal force of some amusements1  

#afb4      ,chance1 the element of1 not 
admissible in children's amusements1    
#afj4      ,character3      shaped by   
child-training1 #af2      possibilities 
of1 perceived1 #gc2      shown in fears1
 #bbc4      ,choice3      faculty of1   
identified with the will1 #ch2          
,god's dealings with men1 on the basis  
of their freedom of1 #ci2      not      
abrogated by rewards and punishments1   
#dj2      of obedience or punishment1 a 
fair one1 #dd1 #df2      for a child by 
parents1 of studies and duties1 #eh2    
of food and drink1 #aji2      of        
amusements1 #aef1 #afd2      of reading1
 #agf2      of companionships1 #aig f42 
of a residence1 school1 a week-day      
school1 or a ,sunday-school1 #bja4      
,christ see ,jesus ,christ4             
,christian faith1 the remedy for        
child-sorrows1 #bde4      ,christmas3   
celebration of1 may illustrate ,sabbath 
observance1 #adf2      distinguishing   
then between fact and fancy1 #bgi2      
giving added value to a child's1        

#bhc-bij4      ,church services should  
be made attractive to children1 #aec4   
,classic examples of table-talk1 #ahg4  
,coaxing a child to be quiet1 #ig4      
,college curriculum1 its value as a     
means of training1 #ef4      ,comforting
 children by sympathy1 #bdi4            
,companionships3      in a child's      
amusements to be guarded1 #aei2         
guiding a child in1 #aig-bjd4           
,condiments1 a child's use of1 #aaa1    
#aae4      ,confession3      of faults  
won through parental sympathy1 #bed2    
a child's readiness for1 at bed-time1   
#bib4      ,conscientiousness1 of young 
parents1 as a cause of over-doing       
child-training1 #hd f4      ,control see
 ,self-,control4      ,conversation3    
honoring a child's interest in adult1   
#gi2      evil to a child of having     
himself for the topic of1 #agj1 #agd2   
favorable occasion for1 at family meals1
 #ahi4      ,counseling1 not identical  
with training1 #ag4      ,courtesy1     
training a child to1 #afe-agd4          

,cowardice1 distinguished from fear1    
#bbd4      ,criticism1 of our children1 
by others1 to be heeded1 #cd4           
,crying3      controlling by            
self-control1 #if2      not recognized  
as a means of gain1 #ajf2      a child's
 earliest action1 #bci4                 
,cultivating a child's taste for        
reading1 #age-ahf see ,reading4         
,curbing1 an element in training1 #cj4  
,,dark side of life1 seen first by the  
child1 #bci4      ,david's recognition  
of the mother-love1 #bfd4      ,dealing 
tenderly with a child's fears1 #bbc-bch 
see ,fears4      ,death in the          
atmosphere1 #beh4      ,definition3     
of training1 #aa2      of teaching1 #ab2
      of faith1 #abi2      of courtesy1 
#afe2      of good-breeding1 #aff2      
of anger1 #bjf2      of punishment1     
#bjg2      of scolding1 #bag2      of   
sympathy1 #bdh2      of home atmosphere1
 #bei2      of the false and of the     
unreal1 #bgg4      ,denying3      a     
child wisely1 #fa-gj2      not to be    

done hastily1 #ajg4      ,de ,quincey on
 8fine manners10 #aff4      ,diagnosis1 
important in parental care1 as in       
medical practice1 #cj4      ,dictionary1
 at hand for use in table-talk1 #aic4   
,discerning a child's special need of   
training1 #bi-cf4      ,discipline3     
by the use of 8must0 in child-training1 
#ec f42      example of ,spartan1 #fh2  
danger of its over-doing1 #he1 #ij2     
in eating and drinking1 #aji f42      in
 the mission-school1 #bac1 #bad4        
,dogs3      to be trained1 not broken1  
#ej f42      a natural tone of voice in 
the training of1 #bai4      ,dolls1 as a
 child's treasure1 #bdc4      ,duty of  
training children1 #ag-bb4              
,,education3      begins with training  
rather than teaching1 #ab2      progress
 in methods of1 #ed4      ,eli honoring 
the child ,samuel's individuality1 #gc4 
,english custom of separating parents   
and children at meal-time1 #aij4        
,etiquette1 distinguished from courtesy1
 #agj4      ,eton1 influence of its     

playground on the battle of ,waterloo1  
#afa4      ,ex post facto laws not      
justifiable1 #bae4      ,eye and ear1   
trained by playthings and games1 #afj4  
,,fact and fancy1 a child distinguishes 
between1 #bgg4      ,fairy-tales3       
value and place of1 #agh2      safer    
reading than falsely colored religious  
story-books1 #bha4      ,faith1 training
 a child's1 #abi-ach4      ,fancy and   
fact see ,fact4      ,fathers sharing   
the amusements of children1 #aeh4       
,faults3      of children1 friends and  
neighbors may see those which parents   
do not1 #cc2      should excite parental
 sympathy1 #bec2      children more     
ready to confess1 at bed-time1 #bib4    
,fears1 dealing tenderly with a child's1
 #bbc-bch4      ,feeble-minded children1
 their special lack1 #bj1 #ba4          
,fiction3      place and value of1 in   
child's reading1 #agh2      no place for
 the highly colored and over-wrought1   
#ahb2      when false is pernicious1    
#bha4      ,first child1 danger of      

over-doing the training of the1 #hd1    
#hg4      ,food3      for children1     
should be chosen by parents1 #aji2      
inherited tastes for1 may be overcome by
 training1 #aji2      freaks of appetite
 for1 #aab2      an ,american educator's
 method of training his children's      
tastes        for1 #aad4      ,forcing a
 child's will3      never right1 #db f42
      permanent harm of1 #dh4           
,freedom3      of man's will1 the basis 
of divine dealing1 #ci1 and             
fore-ordained1        #dj2      to ask  
questions1 limited1 #abc2      should be
 permitted in family table-talk1 #aib2  
from anxiety and sorrow not             
characteristic of childhood1 #bci4      
,freshness of a child's thought on      
profound themes1 #hj1 #aca4             
8,friend-enemies10 parents as1 according
 to ,herbert ,spencer1 #bee4            
,,games3      for ,sunday1 #adg2        
should be made a means of good1 #aei2   
the element of chance should be excluded
 from1 #afj2      of an intellectual    

nature1 #afc2      the right use of     
imagination in1 #bgh1 #bgi4             
,gentlemanliness1 appealing to a boy's1 
#gi4      ,gentleness3      in          
child-training1 #dd2      in            
dog-training1 #ej1 #bai2      in        
managing a city mission-school1 #bac1   
#bad2      in censuring1 #bbj2      in  
dealing with a child's fears1 #bbc f4   
8,ghosts and goblins10 in child-fears1  
#bbf1 #bcg4      ,gifts3      abundance 
of1 now unappreciated1 #fg2      at     
,christmas1 valued in proportion to the 
giver's self going with        them1    
#bhc1 #bhi4      ,gleason1 the          
horse-trainer1 methods of1 #ej4         
,good-breeding1 defined1 #aff4          
,good-night words1 #bia-cjj4            
,gospel of ,john1 as a first ,bible book
 for ,south ,sea ,islanders1 #acb4      
,grief3      affectation of1 for        
rewards1 #ig2      freedom from1 not    
characteristic of childhood1 #bci4      
,guests1 permitting children to sit at  
table with1 #ahi4      ,guiding a child 

in companionships1 #aig-bjd see         
,companionships4      ,gullet1 rubbing  
of the1 a primitive custom1 #ad4        
,,habits3      formed in infancy1 #ac1  
#id2      affected by training1 #bg2    
should be regulated by parents1 #ef1    
#aaj1 #aab1 #aag4      ,hagar1 an       
example of the mother-love1 #bfe4       
,hammond1 ,s4 ,t41 on dog-training1 #ej1
 #bai4      ,hannah1 an example of the  
mother-love1 #bff4      ,hasty denial of
 a child's request1 unwise1 #ajg4       
,history1 a child trained to enjoy books
 of1 #ahj4      ,home3      amusements  
of1 should be a centripetal force1 #afb2
      to be made attractive1 #afc4      
,home atmosphere1 influence of1 #afb f41
 #beg-bfb4      ,honoring a child's     
individuality #bc1 #bi1 #cg1 #eg1       
#ga-hb4      ,horses trained1 not       
broken1 #ej4        ,,illustrations3    
on the effects of training1 #bd2        
,johnny and his father1 as to shutting  
the door1 #db2      a boy addressing a  
visitor by a familiar title1 #df2       

from animal-training1 #ej1 #bai2        
flogging children on ,innocents' ,day1  
#ed2      the raisin-box wagon1 #fg2    
self-denial of ,spartans1 #fh2          
difference between clay and the living  
germ1 #gb2      boy who knew better than
 his mother how sick he was1 #gf2       
boy who could not spare his watch1 #gg2 
stanzas from ,wordsworth1 #ha2      a   
young father over-disciplining his first
 child1 #hd1 #hg2      8yanking0 at the 
reins1 #ia2      8,i want to be         
pacified10 #ig2      an ,american       
educator training the children's        
appetite for food1 #aad2      ,shetland 
ponies trained to eat hay1 #aaf2        
,bishop ,patteson among the ,south ,sea 
,islanders1 #acb2      a boy's rejoicing
 that ,monday had come1 #aec2           
battle of ,waterloo won on ,eton's      
playground1 #afa2      ,fourth of ,july 
suggesting study of ,american history1  
#ahd2      the table-talk of famous     
guests1 as a means of education1 #aia2  
lateral and perpendicular forces1 #aih2 

a parent who could punish only when     
angry1 #bji2      a mission-school boy  
reproving his superintendent1 #bac2     
a child punished in love1 responding    
with love1 #bad2      ,braddock and     
,washington in the presence of peril1   
#bbe2      a baby who 8doesn't like     
,god's voice10 #bca2      a father      
overcoming his child's fear of          
lightning1 #bca2      power of imaginary
 fear over a strong man1 #bcc2          
trusting ,god when afraid1 #bcf2        
8,do robbers take dolls80 #bdc2      a  
boy suicide1 #bde2      from ,herbert   
,spencer1 on sympathy1 #bdi2      life  
and death in the atmosphere1 #beh2      
historical1 of a mother's love1         
#bfc-bgf2      of the play of a child's 
imagination1 #bgh2      of ,christmas   
festivities1 #bhd f42      8the old     
woman that lived in a shoe10 #bid2      
the boy calling from his 8trundle-bed0  
to his father1 #big4      ,imagination3 
encouraging free play of a child's1     
#agf2      a cause of child-fears1 #bbe2

      its part in the fears of the      
mature man1 #bcc2      distinguished    
from superstition1 #bcd2      to be     
appealed to1 in overcoming such fears1  
#bce1 #bcf2      a child's1 to be       
guarded from ghost-stories1 #bcg2       
allowing play to a child's1 #bgg-bhb4   
,imperfect development of every child1  
#ba4      ,improvements in school       
appliances1 etc41 #ed4                  
,incarnation1 disclosure of1 in training
 child-faith1 #acf4      ,inclination   
must submit to discipline1 #eg4         
,indignation1 in punishing1             
distinguished from anger1 #bab4         
,influence of the home atmosphere1      
#beg-bfb4      ,innate1 faith toward    
,god is1 but knowledge of him is not1   
#acj4      8,innocents' ,day10 a time   
for flogging children1 #ed4             
,instinctive3      faith of every child1
 #abi2      fears1 the value of1 #bbi4  
,interrogation-point1 a child as an     
animated1 #aai4      ,issue with a child
 to be avoided as far as possible1 #df1 

#hh4        ,,james and ,john1 their    
mother's example of the mother-love1    
#bff4      ,jeroboam's wife1 an example 
of the mother-love1 #bff4      ,jesus   
,christ3      incarnation of1 readily   
grasped by a child's faith1 #acf2       
table-talk of1 #ahh2      recognizing1  
on the cross1 his mother's love1 #bfe2  
sympathizes with our enjoyments1 #bij4  
,jochebed1 an example of the            
mother-love1 #bfe4      ,john's ,gospel 
as a first book for heathen converts1   
#acb4      ,johnson1 ,dr41 on reading1  
#age2      on the mother-love1 #bfi4    
,joyful observance of the ,lord's ,day1 
#ada1 #aec4      ,judgment1 in judge or 
parent1 should not be hasty1 #bjf4      
,,kindergarten1 a fundamental truth in  
its system1 #afj4      ,knowledge3      
begins with a question1 #aai2           
questions should be directed in order to
 gain1 #abe2      regarding ,god1 must  
be disclosed to the child1 #acj4        
,,late hours1 amusements of the child   
should not involve1 #afa4               

,laughing3      a time for1 #ii2        
not so easy1 for a baby1 as crying1     
#bci4      ,letting alone as a means of 
child-training1 #hc-ib4      ,life3     
children see dark side of1 first1 #bci2 
burdens of1 rest heaviest on the        
child-nature1 #bdj2      death and1 in  
the atmosphere1 #beh4      ,lightning   
and thunder1 overcoming a child's fears 
of1 #bca4      ,limitations3      scope 
and1 of child-training1 #bc-bh2      to 
a child's privilege of question-asking1 
#abc4      ,lord's ,day3      every day 
is1 #aci2      set apart from other     
days1 in childish occupations1 toys1    
etc41 #add4      ,love3      ,god's1    
includes the bad child1 #ace2           
necessary to acceptable worship or work1
 #adj2      parental1 in punishing1     
awakens child's1 #bad2                  
distinguished from sympathy1 #bdh1 #bef2
      an element of the home atmosphere1
 #bfa2      the power of a mother's1    
#bfc-bgf2      the divine compared with 
a mother's1 #bfa2      historical       

illustrations of1 and testimonies to a  
mother's1 #bfc-bgf4      8,luck10 no    
place for it in children's games1 #afj4 
,luther1 ,martin3      individuality of1
 in childhood1 honored by ,trebonius1   
#gd2      on the mother-love1 #bgj4     
,,macaulay1 ,lord1 on the mother-love1  
#bgb4      ,making believe as distinct  
from deception1 #bgh4      ,manliness   
promoted by amusements1 #afj4           
,manners1 fine1 according to ,de        
,quincey1 #aff4      ,meals1 mental and 
moral enjoyments at1 #ahg4      ,memory3
      of a mother's love1 its permanent 
influence1 #bfc2      illustrated1      
#bff-bgc2      of ,christmas            
festivities1 #bhi2      of the          
good-night kiss1 #bic4      ,mental     
defects remedied1 #be4                  
,misrepresenting ,god to a child1 #ace4 
,mission-school1 illustration of the bad
 boy in one1 #bac4      ,moses1 the     
possibilities of his character in       
infancy1 #gb4      ,mother ,goose1 value
 of1 #agg4      ,mother3      has more  

time than the father to share children's
 amusements1 #aeh2      scolding by a1  
no better than an apple-woman's1 #bah2  
commandments to honor1 #bfg4            
,mother's love3      the power of a1    
#bfc-bgf2      memory of1 in the        
good-night kiss1 #bic4      ,music in   
the home1 #afc4      8,must0 the place  
of1 in training1 #ec-fj see ,discipline4
        8,,nagging0 is not training1    
#ij4      ,napoleon ,bonaparte1 on the  
mother-love1 #bgc4      ,natural3       
objects1 suggesting lines of reading1   
#ahd2      tone of voice1 in            
dog-training and in child-training1     
#bai2      power of sympathy not wholly1
 #bef4      ,neighbors' criticism of our
 children valuable1 #cc4      ,never    
punish a child in anger1 #bje-baf4      
,news1 daily1 outlined by father at     
breakfast table1 #aic4      ,night see  
,good-night ,words4      ,nonsense      
songs1 value of1 #agg4      ,nott1      
,president1 soothed at ninety by old    
lullabies1 #bga4        ,,observance of 

,sabbath1 training a child to1 #aci-aed4
      8,only child1 the30      not      
always 8spoiled10 #fc2      disadvantage
 of his lack of companions at home1     
#bjj4      ,opinions of a child1        
honoring the1 #hj4      ,over-doing in  
child-training3      danger of1 #hc2    
an error of the thoughtful as well as   
the thoughtless1 #ij4      ,oxygen1     
analogy from1 #beh f4        ,,parents3 
undervalue their power to train1 #ag1   
#ce2      blindness of1 to the peculiar 
faults of their children1 #ca2          
should heed criticism of neighbors and  
friends1 #cc2      faults of1 often     
reappear in their children1 #ce2        
should never force a child's choice1    
#da2      anger no help to1 in training1
 #dd1 #bje2      permanent harm to1 in  
breaking their child's will1 #dh2       
should control a child's personal       
habits1 #ef2      must often deny a     
child's requests1 #fb2      must honor a
 child's individuality1 #ga2      often 
inferior in possibilities to their      

children1 #ge2      young1 in danger of 
over-disciplining a child1 #hc2         
should seek to avoid direct issues with 
a child1 #hi2      teaching the infant  
self-control1 #id2      training        
children to tease1 #ajb2      respect   
of1 lost by children who tease1 #aje2   
giving sugar and condiments1 #aaf2      
average1 unable to answer questions of  
average children1 #abb2      as         
revealers of revelation1 #aca2      must
 have faith in order to train a child's 
faith1 #acg2      should provide        
peculiar occupations and privileges for 
,sunday1 #add1        #adh2      should 
be the center of their children's       
amusements1 #aeg1 #afc2      should     
learn from the kindergarten system1     
#afj2      should train children to     
courtesy1 #agc2      responsible for    
children's reading1 #agf1 #ahj2         
should give children a share in family  
table-talk1 #aij1 #aif2      responsible
 for choice of a child's companions1    
#aig1 #bja2      should never punish in 

anger1 #bje2      as peace-keepers and  
policemen1 #baa2      should never      
scold1 #bag2      should deal tenderly  
with child-fears1 #bbc2      should have
 sympathy for child-sorrows1 #bdb2      
should point to ,christ1 as the way of  
comfort1 #bdf2      as 8friend-enemies10
 #bee2      responsible for a           
home-atmosphere1 #bei-bfa2      allowing
 play to a child's imagination1 #bgg f42
      should prepare for ,christmas     
festivities1 #bhc f42      the          
good-night words of1 #bia4              
,passions and appetites1 self-control   
of1 should begin early1 #ii4            
,patience1 necessity of3      in        
dog-training and child-training1 #bbj2  
especially at child's bed-time1 #bid4   
,patteson1 ,bishop1 among the ,south    
,sea ,islanders1 #acb4      ,paul's     
self-control1 #ih4      ,person1 faith  
rests on a1 #abi4      ,personal3       
power measured by will-power1 #cg2      
character to be held sacred1 #ci1 #ga2  
rights of children1 honoring1 #gg2      

merit1 not a means of acceptance with   
,god1 #ace4      ,physical3      defects
 remedied1 #be2      pain1 endurance of1
 #if4      ,place of 8must0 in training1
 the1 #ec-fj4      ,place of sympathy in
 child-training1 #bdg-bef4              
,playmates3      treatment of visiting1 
#aga2      unkindnesses of1 #bdj see    
,companionships4      ,playthings3      
use of1 in training the faculties1 #afj2
      not a substitute for parental     
sympathy1 #bej2      imagination in the 
use of1 #bgi1 #bhj4      ,politeness1   
true1 #aff4      ,porter1 ,president1 on
 a college curriculum1 #ef4      ,power 
of a mother's love1 the1 #bfc-bgf see   
,mother's ,love4      ,prayer3          
meaning of1 taught before the child can 
talk1 #aca2      faith in1 not to       
supplant faith in ,god1 #acc2           
sharing a child's1 #bib2      a new     
meaning of1 gained through a child's    
good-night words1 #bii4                 
,preferences1 personal3      not to     
control study and work1 #ei2      nor   

reading1 #agg4      ,profound thought   
possible to a child1 #hj2      as of    
,god's personality and love1 #aca2      
or1 the doctrine of the incarnation1    
#acf4      ,protection of a child1 in   
danger1 distinguished from punishment1  
#baj1 #baa4      ,punish a child in     
anger1 never1 #bje-baf4                 
,punishment3      divine1 not           
destructive of free-will1 #dj2          
teaching a child to choose obedience or1
 #dd f42      undue severity of1 #de2   
has a proper use1 #bje2      should be a
 calm and judicial act1 #bjf2           
distinguished from prompt protection of 
a child in danger1 #baj1 #baa2          
administered in love1 is recognized as  
love prompted1 #bad2      often harder  
for a parent than for his child1 #bae2  
not to be inflicted upon an offense of  
ignorance1 #bae2      child's permanent 
good the purpose of1 #baf2      evil of 
postponing until the child's bed-time1  
#bid1 #bie4      ,puzzles1 for ,sunday1 
#aea4        ,,questioner1 training a   

child as a1 #aai-abh4      ,questions3  
children encouraged to ask1 #abj2       
discouraged from asking improper1 #abc2 
value of a set time for answering1 #abd2
      should be in order to gain        
knowledge1 #abe2      wisdom of         
deferring answers to some1 #abg2        
asking1 in family table-talk1 #aib4     
,quiet talking more effective than      
scolding1 #bbj4        ,,rachel1 an     
example of the mother-love1 #bfe4       
,rarey1 the horse-trainer1 method of1   
#ej4      ,reading3      cultivating a  
child's taste for1 #age-ahf2      its   
value1 according to ,addison and        
,johnson1 #age2      place and value of 
fiction in1 #agg1 #agh2      taste for  
good should be aroused in childhood1    
#ahj4      ,reasonable fears to be met  
by reason1 #bbh4      ,recreation       
distinguished from amusement1 #aee4     
,reference-books1 use of1 in family     
table-talk1 #aic4      ,residence1      
companionships for children to be in    
mind1 when choosing      a1 #bja4       

,respect1 self1 of the courteous man1   
#aff4      ,rest1 not in inaction1 but  
in change1 #adb4      ,rewards3         
divine use of1 #dj2      dangers in the 
use of1 #ig4      ,rich children in     
danger of being untrained in            
self-denial1 #fe4      ,ridicule cannot 
overcome child-fears1 #bbd1 #bbh4       
,rizpah1 an example of the mother-love1 
#bff4      ,romans1 their table-talk1   
#ahg4      ,rubbing the gullet1 a       
primitive custom1 #ad4        ,,sabbath 
observance1 training children to1       
#aci-aed4      ,samuel's individuality1 
in childhood1 honored by ,eli1 #gc4     
,santa ,claus1 as a ,christmas fancy1   
#bgi4      ,science1 training a child to
 enjoy books of1 #ahj4      ,scolding3  
never in order1 #bag-bbb2      most     
common at bed-time1 #bid4      ,scope   
and limitations of child-training1      
#bc-bh see ,limitations4                
,self-assertion not consistent with     
courtesy1 #aff4      ,self-control3     
training a child to1 #ic-ajj2           

necessary for parents before punishing a
 child1 #baj2      before censuring a   
child1 #bbj4      ,self-denial3         
importance of training children to1 #fb2
      an only child liable to lack      
stimulus to1 #bjj4                      
,self-forgetfulness the basis of        
courtesy1 #afh4      ,selfishness       
fostered by the granting of every       
request1 #fc4      ,self-respect of the 
courteous man1 #aff4      ,sermons for  
children1 read at home on ,sunday1 #aej4
      ,sharing3      children's joys and
 sorrows1 #bdh1 #bec2      children's   
,christmas pleasures1 #bij2      in     
children's evening prayer1 #bib4        
,shetland ponies trained to eat hay1    
#aaf4      ,shunammite woman1 an example
 of the mother-love1 #bff4      ,silly  
questions not to be encouraged1 #abe4   
,skelton1 ,john1 on scolding1 #bah4     
,skill1 not chance1 in children's games1
 #afa4      ,soldier3      fear felt by 
every1 #bbd2      imaginary fears of a1 
#bcd2      finding peace on his         

death-bed through the mother-love1 #bgd4
      ,solomon3      on child-training1 
#ae2      on honoring a mother1 #bfg4   
,sorrows of children1 the1 #bci-bdf2    
they call for sympathy1 #bdg-bef2       
because of harsh treatment at bed-time1 
#bid4      ,south ,sea ,islanders taught
 from ,john's ,gospel first1 #acb4      
,spartan children trained to            
self-denial1 #fh4      ,special need of 
training1 discerning a child's1 #bi-cf4 
,spencer1 ,herbert1 on intellectual     
sympathy with children1 #bdi4           
,spoiled child1 the3      not always an 
8only child10 #fc2      may be a first  
child1 over-disciplined1 #hg4           
,studying a child's specific needs1 #ce4
      ,sugar-plums to 8pacify0 crying   
children1 #ig1 #aaa4      ,suicide of   
children1 #bdd4      ,sunday-school3    
lesson1 studied at home on ,sunday1     
#aej2      attendance of1 in early      
childhood1 #aeb2      library-book1     
mission of the average1 #agi2           
companionships in view while choosing a1

 #bja4      ,symmetry in child-training1
 dependent on companionships1 #bjj4     
,sympathy3      of parents with children
 in amusements1 #aeg2      in           
companionships1 #aii2      in fears1    
#bce f42      place of1 in              
child-training1 #bdg-bef2      defined1 
#bdh1 #bef2      ,herbert ,spencer on1  
#bdi2      in a child's misdeeds and    
accidents1 #bed2      not wholly natural
 to parents1 #bef2      in the          
8home-atmosphere10 #bfa2      craved by 
a child at bed-time1 #bib4              
,syro-,phnician woman1 an example of the
 mother-love1 #bff4                     
,,table-,,talk1 the value of1 #ahg-aif4 
,taste in reading1 cultivating a        
child's1 #age-ahf see ,reading4         
,teaching distinguished from training1  
#aa4      ,tease1 training a child not  
to1 #aja-ajh4      ,tenderly dealing    
with a child's fears1 #bbc-bch see      
,fears4      ,thought1 profound1        
possible to a child1 #hj4               
,thoughtfulness for others distinguished

 from self-forgetfulness1 #afi4         
,thunder and lightning1 overcoming a    
child's fear of1 #bca4      ,timidity to
 be overcome by training1 #bbg4         
,timothy's mother1 an example of the    
mother-love1 #bff4      ,topics1        
assigning special1 for next day's family
 table-talk1 #aid4      ,toys3      for 
,sunday1 #ade-adg2      breaking of1 a  
serious matter to a child1 #bdc4        
,training3      distinguished from      
teaching1 #aa2      defined1 #ab2       
should begin at birth1 #ae2      shapes 
character1 #af2      more than          
counseling1 #ag2      limited by a      
child's capacity1 #bc2      special1    
necessary for every child1 #bi2         
danger of its developing the poorer     
self1 #cj2      the child's will1 #cg2  
need of gentleness in1 #dd2      by     
discipline1 #ec2      a child to do     
unpleasant duties1 #ee1 #ei2      by    
denying requests1 #fa2      of an only  
child1 #fb2      letting alone as a     
means of1 #hc-ib2      of a first child1

 #hd f42      over-doing in1 an error1  
#ij2      8nagging0 is not1 #ij2      to
 self-control1 #ic-ajj2      not to     
tease1 #aja-ajh2      ,susannah         
,wesley's method of1 #aje2      a       
child's appetite1 #aji-aah2             
children as questioners1 #aai-abh2      
a child's faith1 #abi-ach2      to      
,sabbath observance1 #aci-aed2      in  
amusements1 #aee-afd2      to courtesy1 
#afe-agd2      a child's taste in       
reading1 #age2      value of table-talk 
in1 #ahi2      child-companionships as  
an element in1 #aig2      has no place  
for scolding1 #bag-bbb2      tone of    
voice in1 #bai2      by tenderness      
toward a child's fears1 #bbc-bch2       
joyousness as a result of1 #bdj2        
sympathy as an aid in1 #bdg-bef2        
home atmosphere as a power in1 #beg-bfb2
      power of a mother's love in1      
#bfc-bgf2      through the play of a    
child's imagination1 #bgg-bhb2      by  
good-night words and deeds1 #bia-cjj4   
,trebonius1 honoring the individuality  

of children1 #gd4      ,trust3          
child's1 is instinctive1 #acj2          
prayer is not mere asking1 but1 #acd4   
8,tunge of a skolde10 ,john ,skelton's  
couplet on1 #bah4                       
,,unselfishness3      the basis of      
courtesy1 #afe2      in a child's       
companionships1 #aii4        ,,value3   
of table-talk1 #ahg-aif2      giving    
added1 to a child's ,christmas1         
#bhc-bij4      ,values1 child-sorrows   
measured by those of the child1 #bdc4   
,voice1 necessity of natural tone of1 in
 training1 #bai4        ,,wagon1        
raisin-box1 #fg4      ,wanting not      
always reason for granting1 #fi4        
,washington and ,braddock as to fear1   
#bbe4      ,watch1 boy who could not    
spare his1 #gg4      ,waterloo1 battle  
of1 won on ,eton's playground1 #afa4    
,wear1 parents should decide what       
children may1 #aag4      ,wellington1   
,duke of1 quoted1 #afa4      ,wesley1   
,susannah1 her method in training1 #aje4
      ,whipping at bed-time1 unwisdom   

of1 #bie4      ,will1 training of1      
rather than breaking1 #cg-eb4           
,wisdom3      in denying a child1       
#fa-gj2      more needed for letting    
alone than for commanding1 #ia4         
,words1 good-night see ,good-night4     
,wordsworth1 quoted1 #ha4      ,worship3
      more than mere quietness in       
church1 #adb2      family1 on ,sunday1  
#aej4        8,,yanking0 at the reins is
 not good driving1 #ia4      ,young3    
parents1 in danger of over-disciplining1
 #hc2      teachers1 peculiar influence 
of1 #aih2      people1 welcoming the    
mother's good-night kiss1 #bic4