----------------------------------------
--------- ,transcrib]'s note3           
,obvi\s typographic errors h be5        
correct$4                               
----------------------------------------
---------   ,a ,,dom9ie ,,dismiss$      
,,:at ,,?is ,,book ,,is ,,ab\t4   ,9    
consequ5ce ( ! ,dom9ie's g-z-y-please   
me?ods ( educat+ village *ildr51 !      
inevitable happ5s--he is dismiss$1 giv+ 
place to an approv$ discipl9>ian4  ,!   
unhappy ,dom9ie1 =c$ to leave 8 bairns1 
seeks to enli/--b ! doctor discov]s t 8 
lungs are affect$1 & he is ord]$ an     
op5-air life4  ,he returns z a cattleman
 to ! village :]e he has previ\sly be5 a
 s*oolma/]4 ,incid5tally1 he wat*es !   
effect ( 8 successor's tea*+1 ! triumph 
( 8 own me?ods & ! discomfiture ( 8     
rival at ! h&s ( ! *ildr51 9 :om !      
,dom9ie cultivat$ p]sonality & ! rights 
( bairns4   ,,by ,,! ,,same ,,au?or     
,a ,,dom9ie ,,abroad           #gs4     
#f;d4 net4      ,a ,,dom9ie',s ,,log    
#bs4 #f;d4 net4      ,a ,,dom9ie ,,9    

,,d\bt         #bs4 #f;d4 net4      ,,! 
,,boom+ ,,( ,,bunkie      #bs4 #f;d4    
net4      ,,c>roty ,,broon              
#bs4 #f;d4 net4     ,a ,,dom9ie         
,,dismiss$  ,,by ,a4 ,s4 ,,neill        
,,h]b]t ,,j5k9s ,,limit$ ,,york ,,/reet 
,,/4 ,,james',s ,s4,w4#a4               
,illu/ration3 ,a ,,h]b]t ,,j5k9s' ,,book
  ,pr9t$ 9 ,great ,brita9 at ! ,a!num   
,pr9t+ ,works1 ,r$hill   ,,to ,,!       
,,orig9al ,,( ,,m>g>et     ,a ,,dom9ie  
,,dismiss$     ,i4   ,i h pack$ all my  
belong+s4 ,my trunk & two big boxes (   
books /& 9 ! middle ( a floor litt]$ )  
pap]s & /raw4 ,i _h my typewrit]        
c>efully pack$ too1 b ,i took x f out   
its wrapp+s1 & ,i sit amid/ ! ru9s ( my 
room ) my wee ma*9e be=e me4 ,x is "o ( 
^? little fold+ ones weigh+ ab\t six    
p\nds4  ,! ,london tra9 goes at sev51 & 
x is half-pa/ five n[4 ,x 0 j t5 m9utes 
ago t ,i sudd5ly resolv$ to keep a di>y 
444 only a dom9ie c keep a ,log1 & ,i am
 a dom9ie no long]4  ,i he> ,janet      
,br[n's voice outside4 ,%e is s++ ,keep 

! ,home ,fires ,burn+ 444 & %e 0 9 te>s 
?is aft]noon4 ,! limm] ought to be at   
home weep+ h] dom9ie's dep>ture4  ,yet  
444 :at is ,janet do+ at my w9d[8 ,h]   
home is a good two miles along ! road4  
,i wond] if %e has come to see me (f4   
,yes1 %e has2 ,i he> h] cry to ,ell5    
,smi?3 ,he's packit1 ,ell51 & ,aw he>   
him address9' ! labels on 8 typewrit]4  
,! besom6  ,well1 well1 *ildr5 h %ort   
memories4 ,:5 ,macdonald ent]s ! room on
 ,monday morn+ !y w =get all ab\t me4   
,i "k ,macdonald4 ,he is a dec5t sort to
 meet 9 a h\se1 b 9 s*ool he is a /]n   
"o4 ,8 *ief drawback is 8 lack ( hum\r4 
,i c\ld swe> t he w :ack ,jim ,jackson =
 impud5ce be=e he is half an h\r 9 !    
s*ool4  ,i met ,jim "o night la/ week   
:eel+ a box up f ! /ation4  ,i say1 boy1
 ,i call$ ) a pron\nc$ ,piccadilly      
,johnny acc5t1 heah1 boy6 ,c y direct me
 to !--er--village po/-(fice8  ,he      
scrat*$ 8 head & look$ r\nd him         
dubi\sly4  ,bl[$ if ,aw k51 he said at  
la/4 ,aw'm a /rang] "h4  ,yes1          

,macdonald w :ack him4  ,i s5t ,jim out 
ye/]day to measure ! ra9fall 7!re _h be5
 a =tnight's dr\ght7 & he w5t out to !  
playgr\nd4 ,9 t5 m9utes he return$ look+
 puzzl$4 ,he came to my desk & lift$ an 
,algebra book1 !n he w5t to 8 seat &    
seem$ to sweat ov] "s huge calculation4 
,at l5g? he came to me & ann\nc$ t !    
ra9fall 0 #ceghiid ( an in*4 ,i w5t out 
to ! playgr\nd 444 he _h wat]$ x ) !    
wat]+-c4  ,!re are no flies on y1 my    
lad1 ,i said4  ,no1 sir1 he smil$1 !    
flies don't come out 9 ! ra94  ,yes1    
,macdonald is sure to :ack him4  ,i %all
 miss ,jim4 ,i %all miss !m all 444 b   
,jim mo/ ( all4 ,:at ab\t ,janet8 ,&    
,gladys8 ,& ,ell58 ,& ,jean8444 ,well1  
!n1 ,i'll miss ,jim mo/ ( all ! boys4   
,i tri$ to avoid be+ melodramatic       
to-day4 ,x has be5 a que] day1 an       
expectant day4 ,!y foll[$ me ) _! eyes  
all day2 if an inspector _h arriv$ ,i   
swe> t he w\ld h put me d[n z a good    
discipl9>ian4 ,i nev] got s mu* att5tion
 f my bairns 9 my life4  ,i blew ! ,fall

 96 = ! la/ "t at ! ?ree o'clock        
int]val4 ,janet & ,ell5 7 late4 ,:5 !y  
arriv$ !y c>ri$ a wee p>cel ea*4 ,!y    
came =w>d to my desk & laid _! p>cels   
be=e me4  ,a pres5t f y\r s*ol>s1 said  
,janet awkw>dly4 ,i sl[ly took (f !     
tissue pap] & held up a bonny pipe & a  
crocodile tobacco-p\*4 ,i didn't feel l 
speak+1 s ,i took out my old p\* &      
empti$ its cont5ts into ! new "o2 !n ,i 
fill$ ! new pipe & plac$ x betwe5 my    
tee?4 ,a wee lassie giggl$1 b ! o!rs    
look$ on 9 pa9ful sil5ce4  ,i cle>$ my  
?roat to speak1 b ! words refus$ to come
 444 s ,i lit ! pipe4  ,t's bett]1 ,i   
said ) =c$ *e]fulness1 & ,i puff$ away =
 a little4  ,well1 bairns1 ,i began1 ,i 
am---- ,!n ,b>b>a ,watson began to weep4
 ,i fr[n$ at ,b>b>a2 !n ,i blew my nose4
 ,conf\nd ,b>b>a6  ,bairns1 ,i began    
aga91 ,i am go+ away n[4 ,janet's eyes  
began to look dim1 & ,i _h to fr[n at h]
 v h>d2 !n ,i _h to turn my fr[n on     
,jean 444 & ,janet1 ! besom1 took       
advantage ( my divid$ att5tion4 ,i blew 

my nose aga92 !n ,i c\gh$ j to %[ t ,i  
really did h a cold4  ,i don't suppose  
any ( y und]/& :y ,i am go+ away1 b     
,i'll try to tell y4 ,i h be5 dismiss$  
by y\r fa!rs & mo!rs4 ,i hav5't be5 a   
good tea*]1 !y say2 ,i h all[$ y too mu*
 fre$om4 ,i h tak5 y out sket*+ & fi%+ &
 play+2 ,i h let y read :at y lik$1 let 
y d :at y lik$4 ,i hav5't taught y      
en\gh4 ,h[ _m ( y "k ! capital (        
,bolivia8 ,y see1 n "o ( y kn[s4        
,please1 sir1 :at is x8 ask$ ,jim       
,jackson4  ,i don't "k myself1 ,jim4    
,my pipe _h gone out & ,i lit x aga94   
,bairns1 ,i don't want to leave y all2 y
 are m9e1 y "k1 & ! s*ool is ours4 ,y & 
,i made ! g>d5s & rock]ies2 we dug !    
pond & we caught ! tr\t & m9n[s & plant$
 ! wat]-plants4 ,we built ! pigeon-l(t &
 ! rabbit-hut*4 ,we f$ our pets toge!r4 
,we----  ,i don't "k :at happ5$ aft] t4 
,i took out my h&k]*ief1 b n to bl[ my  
nose4  ,! bugle1 ,i manag$ to say1 &    
someone %ov$ x into my h&4 ,!n ,i play$ 
,!re's ,no ,p>ade ,to-day1 b ,i don't   

?9k ,i play$ x v well4  ,only a few w5t 
outside2 mo/ ( !m sat & look$ at me4  ,i
 mu/ get ,jim to save ! situation1 ,i   
said to myself1 & ,i %\t$ 8 "n4         
,p-please1 sir1 lisp$ ,maggie ,cl>k1    
,jim's /&9' oot 9 ! por*4  ,tell him to 
come 91 ,i comm&$4  ,maggie w5t out2 !n 
%e return$ sl[ly4  ,p-please1 sir1 he's 
/&9' greet9' & he w9na come4            
,damnation6 ,i cri$1 & ,i bu/l$ !m f !  
room4  ,a qu>t]-pa/ six6 ,x's "t ,jim   
came = ^! boxes4                        
99       99       99  ,i am back 9 my   
old rooms 9 a small /reet (f ,hamm]smi? 
,broadway4 ,my l&lady1 ,mrs4 ,lewis1 is 
a lady ( delightful g>rulity1 & h]      
comm5ts on ?+s to-day h s]v$ to *e] me  
up4 ,%e is int5sely int]e/$ 9 ! fact t  
,i h come f ,scotl&1 & anxi\s to give me
 all ! news ( ev5ts t h happ5$ dur+ my  
soj\rn 9 ! wilds4  ,did y 'e> mu* abaht 
! w> 9 ,scotl&8 %e said4  ,i look$ my   
surprise4  ,w>6 ,:at w>8  ,!n %e expla9$
 t ,brita9 & ,france & ,russia & !      
,allies 7 fight+ aga9/ ,g]many4  ,n[ t  

,i come to ?9k ( x1 ,i said             
reflectively1 ,i did see a lot ( khaki  
ab\t to-day4  ,d[n't y get ! pyp]s 9    
,scotl&8 %e ask$4  ,?\s&s ( !m1 ,mrs4   
,lewis2 :y1 e ,scot plays ! pipes4  ,i  
mean ! pyp]s1 n ! pyp]s1 %e expla9$4    
,oh1 ,i see6 ,we d get a few2 ,engli%   
travell]s leave !m 9 ! tra9s1 y "k4  ,%e
 ?\ght = a little4  ,x mu/ be nice liv9'
 9 a plyce w'ere ev]yone kn[s ev]yone   
else4 ,my si/] ,sally's m>ri$ to a pynt]
 9 ,dundee1 ,pet] ,macnab2 d y "k 'im8  
,i expla9$ t ,pet] & ,i 7 almo/ bosom   
fri5ds4 ,!n %e ask$ me :e!r ,i knew :at 
8 wage 04 ,i expla9$ t ,i did n "k4 ,%e 
!n told me h[ mu* he gave ,sally to keep
 h\se )1 & ,i began to regret my tem]ity
 9 claim+ a close acqua9tance ) ! err+  
,pet]4 ,mrs4 ,lewis at once began to    
rec\nt ! family hi/ory ( ! ,macnabs1 &  
,i blu%$ = ! company ,i kept4  ,i decid$
 to dis[n ,pet]4  ,p]haps he'll behave  
bett] n[ t he has gone to ,glasg[1 ,i   
rem>k$4  ,b he a9't gone to ,glasg[6 %e 
exclaim$4  ,i look$ ?\ghtful4  ,ah6 ,i  

cri$1 ,i've be5 ?9k+ ( ! o!r ,pet]      
,macnab1 ! pa9t] 9 ,lo*ee4  ,sally's    
'usb& lives 9 a plyce call$ ,magdal5    
,gre54  ,ah6 ,i und]/& n[1 ,mrs4 ,lewis4
 ,i've met t "o too2 y're q "r ab\t 8   
"*4  ,if ,i ev] write a book ( aphorisms
 ,i %all c]ta9ly include ?is "o3 ,nev]  
claim an acqua9tance ) a lady's         
relations by m>riage4  ,i w&]$ along    
,fleet ,/reet to-day1 ! mo/ fasc9at+    
/reet 9 ,london 444 & ! mo/ disappo9t+4 
,to und]/& ,fleet ,/reet y mu/ walk     
along ! ,/r& at midday4 ,! ,london] is !
 mo/ *ildi% creature on e>?4 ,if a      
workman op5s a dra9 cap ! traffic is    
held up by ! cr[ds :o pu% =w>d to       
glimpse ! pipes bel[4 ,if a black man   
walks along ! ,/r& half a hundr$ p w    
foll[ him on ! (f *ance t he may be     
,jack ,johnson4 ,london is ! mo/        
prov9cial place 9 ,brita94 ,i h eat5    
cookies 9 ,pr9ces ,/reet 9 ,ed9burgh1 & 
,i h eat5 buns 9 ,piccadilly4 ,! ,london
 audi5ce 0 ! great]4 ,audi5ce6 ! ^w     
d]ives f ! ,lat9 audio3 ,i he>4 ,t won't

 d to describe my eat+2 spectators is ! 
^w4  ,i w&]$ ab\t all day1 & ! int]e/s (
 ! /reets kept my ?\ghts away f t little
 /ation 9 ! nor?4 ,n[ x is ev5+1 & my   
?\ghts are free to w&]4  ,a few ( !m    
w\ld see ,macdonald arrive to-day1 & ,i 
?9k t 9 wond]+ at him !y w h =gott5 me4 
,*ildr5 live = ! h\r2 _! griefs are z   
ephem]al z _! joys1 & ! ephem]alism ( _!
 emotion is z wond]ful z its int5sity4  
,a boy w bury 8 bro!r 9 ! aft]noon1 &   
scream at ,*>lie ,*apl9 9 ! ev5+4 ,he w 
=get ,*>lie aga91 ?\gh1 :5 he lies alone
 9 ! big d\ble b$ at night4  ,jim &     
,janet & ,jean & ! re/ h lov$ me well1 b
 ,i h no illusions ab\t _! love4 ,*ildr5
 are pa9fully docile4 ,9 two weeks !y w 
accept ,macdonald's iron rule )\t "q1 j 
z !y accept$ my abs5ce ( rule )\t "q4   
,yet ,i wond] 4446 ,p]haps ! love (     
fre$om t ,i gave !m w make !m critical  
n[4 ,i "k t !y gradually develop$ a ke5 
s5se ( ju/ice4 ,x 0 j a =tnight ago t   
,pet] ,%aw 0 report$ to me z a slay] (  
"y birds4 ,i =m$ a jury ) ,jim ,jackson 

z =eman1 & !y call$ = witnesses4        
,g5tlem5 ( ! jury1 y\r v]dict8 ,i said4 
,jim /ood up4  ,accus$ is acquitt$ 444  
only "o witness6  ,i us$ to see !m weigh
 my actions critically1 & ,i _h to be v 
p>ticul> n to %[ any sign (             
fav\ritism--a difficult task1 = a dom9ie
 is b\nd to l "s bairns bett] ?an o!rs4 
,w !y apply ?is me?od to ,macdonald8 ,i 
r ?9k he w beat x out ( !m4 ,he is !    
type ( dom9ie t /&s = ,au?ority ) !     
capital ,a4 ,8 :ole be>+ %\ts3 ,i am !  
,law4 ,:at ,i say is "r & n to be       
que/ion$4  ,my poor bairns6     ,,ii4   
,i w5t to ,ri*mond to-day1 hir$ a skiff1
 & r[$ up to ,t$d+ton4 ,i ti$ ! pa9t] to
 a tuft ( grass on ! bank & laz$ 9 !    
sun%9e4 ,= a "t ,i wat*$ ! boats g by1 &
 ,i smil$ at ! w9dmill r[+ ( a boatload 
( "y ,italians4 ,!n a gild$ y\? w5t by  
fea!r+ beautifully 444 & ,i smil$ aga91 
= ! ,italians seem$ to be gett+ ev] s   
mu* m fun out ( _! r[+ ?an ?is arti/    
got4  ,by & by ! pass]s-by we>i$ me1 &  
,i ?\ght ( my village up nor?4 ,! kirk  

w\ld be 94 ,macdonald w\ld probably be  
!re1 & ! bairns w\ld be glanc+ at him   
sidelong1 :ile ,i1 ! failure1 lay 9 a   
boat among /rang]s4 ,i began to indulge 
9 ! luxury ( self-pity2 feel+ oneself a 
m>tyr is n altoge!r an unpleasant       
s5sation4  ,i turn$ my face to ! bank & 
?\ght ( :at _h tak5 place4 ,! villag]s  
accus$ me ( wa/+ _! *ildr5's "t1 b :5 ,i
 ask$ !m :at !y w\ld h me make _! *ildr5
 d !y 7 unable to answ] cle>ly4  ,goad6 
said ,pet] ,/eel ! roadman1 a laddie    
ne$s to k5 hoo to read & write & add up 
a bit sum4  ,j s1 ,i said4 ,:5 y g home 
to-night j try to help y\r ,jim ) 8     
algebra1 w y8 ,i'll give y five p\nds if
 y c beat him at ari?metic4  ,aw'm no   
say9' t he doesna k5 8 "w1 he prote/$1 b
 ,aw want to k5 :at's ! use o' a' ?is   
wa/e o' "t pluck9' fl[]s & draw9'       
hooses4 ,y j let ! bairns play !msells4 
,t's :at *ildhood is =1 ,i expla9$1 =   
play+ & play+ aga94 ,9 mo/ s*ools !     
*ildr5 "w until !y tire1 & !n !y play4  
,my sy/em is ! rev]se2 !y play until !y 

are tir$ ( play & !n !y "w 444 ask = "w4
  ,i "k t ! villag]s w nev] und]/& :at  
,i 0 try+ to d4 ,my neighb\r1 ,lawson ( 
,r9sley ,s*ool1 _h a glimm]+ ( my ideal4
  ,i see y\r po9t1 he said1 b ! fault ( 
! sy/em is ?is3 y are n prep>+ ^! *ildr5
 to meet ! difficulties ( life4 ,9 y\r  
s*ool !y *oose _! pet subjects1 b 9 a   
factory or an (fice !y've got to d "w t 
!y may hate4 ,i say t y\r kids w fail4  
,y ar5't tea*+ !m "*1 he add$4          
,lawson's criticism has made me ?9k h>d4
 ,i grant t ,i am n an effici5t produc] 
( wage-slaves4 ,! fir/ attribute ( a    
slave is submission2 he mu/ nev] "q4    
,macdonald is ! true wage-slave produc]4
 ,he sets up au?ority to de/roy         
criticism1 & ! *ildr5 naturally accept  
_! lat] slav]y )\t "q4 ,macdonald is !  
ideal tea*] = ! reactioni/s & !         
pr(ite]s4  ,w my bairns %irk !          
difficulties ( life8 ,!re is ,dan       
,mac,inch4 ,he %irk$ algebra2 he told me
 frankly t he didn't l x4 ,i said no?+1 
& ,i all[$ him to read :ile ! o!rs 7    

work+ algebraical problems4 ,9 less ?an 
a week he came to me4 ,please1 sir1 give
 me "s algebra = home1 he said1 & 9 ?ree
 weeks he 0 z good z any ( !m4 ,i hold t
 fre$om does n enc\rage ! %irk+ (       
difficulties4 ,i f\nd t my bairns lov$  
!m4 ,"s ( !m delight$ 9 mak+ !m4 ,jim   
,jackson w\ld inv5t ! mo/ =midable sums 
& sp5d h\rs try+ to solve !m4  ,( c\rse 
!re 7 av]sions4 ,jim hat$ s++ & gramm>4 
,:y %\ld ,i =ce him to take an int]e/ 9 
!m8 ,no "o =ces me to take an int]e/ 9  
c>d-play+ 444 my pet av]sion1 or 9      
horse-rac+4  ,fre$om all[s a *ild to    
develop its own p]sonality4 ,if ,jim    
,jackson1 aft] be+ ) me = two ye>s1 goes
 into an (fice & %irks all unpleasant   
duties1 ,i hold t ,jim is naturally     
devoid ( grit4 ,i all[$ him to develop 8
 own p]sonality & if he fails 9 life 8  
p]sonality is manife/ly weak4 ,if       
,macdonald c turn out a bett] work] ?an 
,i c 444 & ,i d5y t !re is any evid5ce t
 he c 444 ,i cont5d t he has done s at !
 exp5se ( a boy's individuality4 ,he has

 =c$ some?+ f )\t on ! boy4 ,t's n      
education4 ,! ^w d]ives f ! ,lat9 to    
lead =?4 ,macdonald w\ld h made ,jim    
,jackson a w>p$ y\?2 he w\ld h          
,macdonaldis$ him4 ,i took ! o!r way4 ,i
 said to myself3 ,?is *ap has some?+    
bright 9 him4 ,:at is x8 ,i (f]$ him    
fre$om & he %[$ me :at he 0--a          
good-natur$ clev] laddie ) a delightful 
s5se ( ! comic4 ,i ?9k t 8 l9e is hum\r2
 m ?an once h ,i told him t he has !    
mak+s ( a great com$ian 9 him4 ,i said  
?is to ,lawson & he sc(f$4  ,good ,"l6  
he cri$1 :at a mission to h 9 life6     
,bett] an excell5t ,little ,ti*1 ,i     
repli$1 ?an an av]age coal-heav]4 ,to   
amuse humanity is a great mission1      
,lawson4  ,!re 0 wee ,doris ,slat]1 !   
daught] ( p :o liv$ 9 a c>avan4 ,t *ild 
mov$ l a goddess4 ,i ?9k t if ,pavlova  
saw ,doris %e w\ld beg h] "m to all[ !  
*ild to become a danc]4 ,macdonald w\ld 
try to make ,doris a typi/1 ,i fancy1 & 
pride himself on ! fact t he _h improv$ 
h] social position4 ,i w\ld h ,doris a  

danc]1 = %e looks l be+ fit to become a 
v great arti/4 ,music moves h] to       
unconsci\s ec/atic grace 9 movem5t4  ,i 
want education to guide a *ild into f9d+
 out :at be/ x c d4 ,at pres5t our      
s*ools provide = ! av]age *ild 444 &    
heav5 only kn[s h[ _m g5iuses h be5     
de/roy$ by /upid co]cion4 ,i want       
education to set out delib]ately to cat*
 g5ius 9 ! bud4 ,& :at discov]s g5ius _c
 be bad = ! *ildr5 :o h no g5ius4  ,i   
want education to produce ! be/ t is 9 a
 *ild4 ,t is ! only way to improve ! _w4
 ,! nak$ tru? is t we gr[n-ups h fail$  
to make ! _w bett] ?an ! gigantic slum x
 is1 & :5 we pret5d to "k h[ a *ild %\ld
 be br\ght up we are be+ m]ely fatu\s4  
,we mu/ h& on :at we h le>n$ to !       
*ildr51 b we mu/ d x )\t comm5t4 ,we mu/
 n say3 ,?is is "r1 because we don't "k 
:at is "r3 we mu/ n say3 ,?is is wrong1 
because we don't "k :at is wrong4 ,! mo/
 we %\ld d is to tell a *ild our        
exp]i5ce4 ,:5 ,i caught my boys smok+ ,i
 did n say3 ,?is is wrong2 ,i m]ely     

said3 ,doctors say t cig>ettes are bad =
 a boy's heal?4 ,!y are ! speciali/s 9  
heal?2 y & ,i don't "k any?+ ab\t x4    
,:5 ,i tell a boy t a light %\ld n be   
tak5 ne> to petrol ,i am h&+ on bitt]   
exp]i5ce ( my own1 b :5 ,i say t he mu/ 
"k ! *ief dates ( hi/ory by ,monday     
morn+ ,i am do+ an absolutely def5celess
 ?+1 = no "o c prove by exp]i5ce t a k (
 dates is a good ?+4 ,macdonald w\ld    
say3 ,q s1 b c\ld y prove t x is a bad  
?+8 ,i w\ld reply t ,i c\ld prove x is a
 s5seless ?+2 moreov] education %\ld n  
aim at giv+ *ildr5 ?+s t d n d !m h>m4  
,i don't suppose t x w\ld d me any h>m  
to le>n up ! prop] names 9 ! ,bible     
beg9n+ ) ,adam4 ,! po9t is w\ld x d me  
any good8  ,i once _h a discussion )    
,macdonald on ,socialism4 ,he accus$ me 
( attempt+ to =ce humanity to be ( a    
patt]n4  ,socialism kills individualism1
 he said4  ,i smile to ?9k t !          
,cons]vative ,macdonald is try+ to m\ld 
*ildr5 to a patt]n1 :ile ,i1 a          
,sociali/1 insi/ on ea* *ild's be+ all[$

 to develop its own sep>ate             
individuality4  ,! ,sociali/ w\ld appe> 
to be ! ke5e/ individuali/ 9 ! _w1 = x  
is f ! h]etical section ( society t !   
dem& = fre$om 9 education is com+4      
99       99       99  ,to-day ,i visit$ 
,watt]son1 an old college fri5d ( m9e4  
,he is n[ 9 ,h>ley ,/reet1 & is fa/     
becom+ fam\s z a speciali/ 9 n]v\s      
disord]s4  ,y\r n]ves are all to pot1 he
 said2 :at h y be5 do+ ) y\rself8  ,i   
told him my rec5t hi/ory4  ,b1 ,good    
,"l6 he cri$1 h[ did y manage to f9d any
 worry 9 a village8  ,i tri$ to expla94 
,liv+ 9 a village n>r[s "o2 ! outside _w
 is gradually =gott51 & ! op9ions (     
ignoramuses gradually come to matt]4 ,i 
f\nd myself beg9n+ to worry ov] ! adv]se
 criticisms ( villag]s :o c\ld n read   
nor write4  ,y've got neura/h5ia1 said  
,watt]son2 :at y want to d is to settle 
d[n on a f>m = six mon?s2 live 9 ! op5  
air & d no?+ /r5u\s4 ,don't try to ?9k1 
& = ,god's sake don't worry4 ,read ,john
 ,bull & ,! ,p9k ',un1 & *uck all !     

weekly intellectual reviews4 ,& 444 mo/ 
important ( all1 fall 9 love ) a        
rosy-*eek$ daught] ( ! soil4  ,i h      
writt5 to ,frank ,?omson1 ! f>m] (      
,eagle%[e1 ask+ if he /ill wants a      
cattleman4 ,8 la/ man 0 conscript$1 & if
 ! job is /ill vacant ,frank w give x to
 me4  ,to-night ,i sit *uckl+4 ,! idea (
 a dismiss$ dom9ie's return+ to a       
village to fe$ cattle is ri*4 ,! village
 w extract mu* amusem5t out ( x4 ,i     
imag9e ,pet] ,mit*ell look+ ov] ! dyke &
 cry+3 ,weel1 dom9ie1 & h[ is ! exp]im5t
 9 eddication gett9' on8                
99       99       99  ,i sit at a bright
 peat fire 9 ,frank ,?omson's bo?y4 ,i  
arriv$ at ?ree o'clock & no bairn 0 ab\t
 ! /ation4 ,i 0 glad1 = ,i did n want to
 meet anyone4 ,!re 0 a que] feel+ ( %ame
 9 return+2 ,i fe>$ to meet anyone's    
glance4 ,to return a few days aft] an   
affect+ f>ewell is ! la/ ^w 9           
anticlimax2 x is s horribly undramatic a
 ?+ to d4 ,i wi% t ,laz>us _h kept a    
di>y aft] 8 resurrection2 ,i fancy t q a

 few p res5t$ 8 return4  ,i _c write m  
to-night2 ,i am tir$ out4 ,! mo/ tir+ ?+
 9 ! _w is to rise 9 "o place & g to b$ 
9 ano!r4                             99 
99       99  ,i 0 go+ out to fet* ! c[s 
?is aft]noon :5 ,i espi$ ?ree girls 9   
:ite p9a=es at ! top ( ! field4 ,!y wav$
 _! h&s & ran d[n to meet me4  ,we'll   
help y to take 9 ! c[s1 cri$ ,janet4 ,!y
 accept$ my return )\t ev5 ! slighte/   
curiosity1 & ,i 0 glad4  ,righto6 ,i    
said1 b wait a bit4 ,i want to sket* !  
f>m fir/4  ,i sat d[n on ! bank & ! ?ree
 settl$ !mselves r\nd me4  ,please1 sir1
 said ,ell51 ,mr4 ,macdonald's a nice   
man4  ,i did n want to discuss          
,macdonald ) my bairns1 & ,i sket*$ 9   
sil5ce4 ,i ?9k !y =got all ab\t my      
pres5ce aft] t2 9 ! old days !y us$ to  
talk to ea* o!r z if ,i w]5't !re4 ,once
 !y discuss$ likely swee!>ts 9 ! village
 = me1 & ,i am sure !y =got t ,i 0 !re4 
,he's nice to ! lassies1 ,ell51 said    
,jean1 b n to ! boys4  ,:at did he /rap 
,jim ,jackson =8 ask$ ,ell54  ,aw d9na  

k51 said ,janet1 b he 0 ne$9' ! /rap4   
,jim ,jackson's a *eeky wee ?+4  ,eh6   
said ,jean1 hav5't we to sit awful      
quiet1 ,jan8  ,weel1 said ,janet nodd+  
h] head sagely1 & s ye %ud sit quiet 9 !
 s*ule4 ,ye'll no be le>n+ y] lessons if
 ye speak4  ,i w5t on sket*+4  ,janet is
 already be+ ,macdonaldis$4 ,%e accepts 
8 au?ority )\t "q4 ,ell5 & ,jean are    
critical z yet1 b 9 a week bo? w h      
adapt$ !mselves to ! ma*9e4  ,!y w&]$ (f
 to pluck fl[]s4 ,i f9i%$ my sket* &    
hail$ !m4 ,!n !y came to me & took my   
arms & we took ! c[s home4  ,9 ! ev5+ ,i
 0 muck+ out ! byre :5 ,jim ,jackson    
came = 8 milk4  ,good morr[1 sir1 ,i    
call$ f ! byre door1 y didn't happ5 to  
see ,mr4 ,?omson's elephant z y came up 
! road8  ,he look$ int]e/$4  ,elephant8 
he ask$ brightly4  ,yes4 ,! :ite "o2    
/ray$ away ?is aft]noon f ! *ick5 coop4 
,h y se5 x8  ,no1 he said1 n ! :ite "o1 
b ! grey "o & ! tig] are sitt+ at !     
dyke-side d[n at ! second gate4 ,i gave 
! tig] a turnip :5 ,i pass$ x4  ,good6  

,i cri$1 always be k9d to animals4      
,yes1 sir1 he said1 & he glanc$ d[n to !
 second gate4 ,i ?9k t he w\ldn't h be5 
v mu* surpris$ if he _h se5 a tig] !re4 
,jim has ! p[] ( make-believe develop$  
/rongly4 ,a few weeks ago he f\nd a dead
 sp>r[ 9 ! playgr\nd4 ,he came to me &  
ask$ = a c(f94 ,i gave him a mat*-box & 
he l9$ ! class up 9 twos & l$ !m ) b>$  
heads t[>ds ! grave he _h dug4 ,! f\r   
=emo/ boys c>ri$ ! c(f9 %\ld] high4     
,jim laid ropes ov] ! grave & ! c(f9 0  
l[]$ rev]5tly4 ,a boy 0 j ab\t to fill 9
 ! grave :5 ,jim cri$3 ,hold on6 ,!n he 
took a h&ful ( e>? & spr9kl$ x ov] !    
c(f9 say+3 ,du/ to du/1 & a%es to a%es4 
,i blew ! ,la/ ,po/ ov] ! grave         
aft]w>ds4 ,jim 0 z s]i\s z c\ld be2 = ! 
mom5t he seem$ to ?9k t he 0 bury+ 8    
bro!r4  ,:5 he _h got 8 milk he came to 
! byre door & wat*$ me "w = a little4   
,please1 sir1 he ask$1 d y l t bett] ?an
 tea*+8  ,i told him t ,i didn't4  ,i   
wi% ,me/] ,macdonald wud be a cattleman1
 he said f]v5tly4  ,"s folk might say t 

he is1 ,i rem>k$4  ,he gave me my licks 
! fir/ morn9' he cam1 he cont9u$4 ,we   
got an essay ',h[ ,i sp5t my holidays1' 
& ,i said t ,i 0 9 ,france & help$ !    
,cr[n ,pr9ce to loot places4 ,we        
qu>rell$ ab\t h[ mu* we %\ld get ea* &  
,i %ot him4 ,! ,me/] gave me ?ree scuds 
= tell9' lies4  ,he w\ld1 ,i said       
grimly4  ,b y us$ to tell me to tell    
lies6 he cri$4  ,i did1 ,jim4 ,& y see !
 result4444 ,i muck out a byre4  ,:5    
,jim w5t away ,i came to a sudd5        
resolution3 ,i w\ld fight = ,jim4 ,i'll 
d all 9 my p[] to help ! lad to pres]ve 
8 own p]sonality4444 ,frank ,?omson is 8
 uncle & ,i'll try to get ,jim to see me
 (t54 ,pr(essional etiquette6           
,pr(essional etiquette be damn$6 ,i'm n 
9 ! pr(ession n[ anyh[1 & all !         
pr(essional etiquette 9 ! _w is z no?+  
to ! sav+ ( a s\l4                      
99       99       99  ,i f9d t ,i enjoy 
my food n[4 ,=m]ly ,i look$ on a meal z 
an appetis] = a smoke2 n[ ,i look on a  
meal z an ev5t4 ,i feel heal?i] ?an ,i  

ev] did 9 my life be=e4 ,! l& dulls "o1 
h[ev]4 ,! old cry ,back to ! ,l& means  
,back to ,elem5tal ,m5tal ,/agnation4 ,i
 sp5t ?is =5oon cutt+ turnips1 & ,i "k t
 ,i ?\ght ( no?+ all ! "t4 ,i h a !ory t
 great ?\ghts are ! product ( disease4  
,possibly ?is is only ano!r way ( say+ t
 g5ius is alli$ to madness4 ,%elley 0 a 
physical weakl+2 ,ibs5 & ,nietzs*e w5t  
mad4 ,yes1 g5iuses are diseas$ folk1 b !
 conv]se does n hold4  ,macdonald came  
up to see me to-night2 he want$ to ask a
 few ?+s ab\t ! s*ool4 ,we lay on a bank
 & lit our pipes4  ,i c't f9d y\r       
',record ( ,"w1' he said4  ,i nev] kept 
"o4  ,b 444 ! ,code dem&s "o6  ,i "k 444
 b ,i didn't keep "o4 ,my record ( "w is
 my pupils 9 aft] life4  ,yes1 he said  
drily1 ,i "k all ab\t t1 b y are suppos$
 to keep a record t w %[ an inspector   
:at y are do+ to produce ?is aft] life  
record4  ,macdonald1 ,i said impati5tly1
 if y mean to tell me t any man c tell  
:at ,i am do+ to prep>e *ildr5 = aft]   
life by squ9t+ at a cr[d ( entries ( !  

,took-!-,hi/ory-(-!-,great-,rebellion-?i
s-week ord] 444 well1 ,i don't und]/&   
y\r attitude to life 9 g5]al4  ,t's all 
v well1 he prote/$1 b we ar5't !re to   
make ! rules2 we're paid s]vants :o h to
 adm9i/] ! laws ( wis] m54  ,h[ d y "k t
 !y are wis]8 ,i ask$4  ,!y're wis] ?an 
,i am anyway1 he said ) a smile4  ,i'm n
 s sure ( x1 ,macdonald2 !y are m       
unscrupul\s ?an y are4 ,!y "k :at !y    
want1 def9itely & f9ally2 !y want       
effici5t wage-slaves4  ,t's m]ely a     
,sociali/ic cry4  ,x may be1 b x's true4
 ,:o rule u8 ,a def9ite gov]n+ class (  
tra9$ ari/ocrats4  ,h'm6 ,i %\ldn't call
 ,lloyd ,george & t ,lab\r man ,hodge   
tra9$ ari/ocrats4  ,!y ar5't born       
ari/ocrats ,i admit1 b !y are           
ari/ocratis$ democrats4 ,!y've adapt$   
!mselves to ! ari/ocratic tradition4 ,!y
 are on ! side ( ari/ocracy2 y won't f9d
 !m ali5at+ ! good op9ion ( ! money$    
classes4 ,we are gov]n$ f above2 d y    
admit t8  ,9 ! ma9 444 yes1 he said     
grudg+ly4  ,v good6 ,well1 !n1 our rul]s

 believe 9 two k9ds ( education4 ,!y s5d
 _! sons to ! public s*ools :]e boys are
 tra9$ to be gov]nors1 b !y s5d ! re/ ( 
! sons ( ! community to ,/ate s*ools :]e
 !y are tra9$ to be discipl9$ & cont5t )
 _! lot4  ,t's nons5se4  ,possibly1 b ,i
 suppose y "k t ! memb]s ( ! ,h\se (    
,lords & ! ,cab9et don't s5d _! sons to 
,l4,c4,c4 s*ools4  ,y are simply prea*+ 
class w>1 he said4  ,i am4 ,!re is a    
class w>--!re has be5 = g5]ations--b x  
is a "o-sid$ w>4  ,x is1 said ,macdonald
 grimly4  ,! upp] class took ! (f5sive  
long ago1 & x keeps x yet4 ,look at !   
squire d[n 9 ! village4 ,he won't ride 9
 ! same railway comp>tm5t ) y or me2 he 
won't sit beside u 9 ! !atre 444 :y1 he 
won't lie beside u 9 ! kirky>d3 he's got
 t rail$-(f corn] = 8 family4 ,i don't  
blame him2 he has be5 educat$ up 9 8    
belief1 j z y & ,i h be5 educat$ up 9 ! 
belief t we are 8 inf]iors4 ,:5 ,i 0 d[n
 9 ! s*ool ,i lectur$ ! :ole class "o   
day because ,i saw a boy d(f 8 cap to ! 
squire & nod to 8 "m ?ree seconds       

aft]w>ds4  ,don't y see t ?is village is
 a little ,briti% ,empire8 ,"h !re are  
only two classes--! big h\se & ! village
 444 ! rul+ class & ! rul$4 ,! s*ool    
tra9s ! rul$ to be rul$1 & ! kirk takes 
up ! tra9+ on ! ,sev5? ,day4 ,! m9i/]   
talks a lot ( prosy platitudes ab\t     
,fai? & ,love & ,*>ity1 b he nev] ?9ks (
 say+ a ?+ t ! squire might take umbrage
 at4  ,i broke (f & refill$ my pipe4    
,h[ are y gett+ on8 ,i ask$4  ,well     
en\gh4 ,! bairns are nice4  ,a little   
bit noisy1 he add$1 b1 ( c\rse1 ,i 0    
prep>$ = t4 ,i he>d ab\t y\r exp]im5t   
mon?s ago4 ,by ! way1 :at sort ( a tea*]
 is ,miss ,watson8  ,excell5t1 ,i       
repli$4  ,h[ (t5 did y exam9e h]        
classes8  ,i nev] exam9$ h] classes1 n  
=mally1 b h] bairns spoke to me1 & ,i   
judg$ h] "w f _! conv]sation4  ,i exam9$
 _! "w ye/]day2 h] spell+ is weak & h]  
geography atroci\s4  ,%\ldn't wond]1 ,i 
said c>elessly4 ,i nev] bo!r$ ab\t ^?   
?+s2 ,i judg$ h] "w by :at h] bairns 71 
n by :at !y knew4 ,!y're a bright lot :5

 y ask !m to ?9k out ?+s4  ,no wond] !y 
fir$ y out1 he laugh$2 y're impossible z
 a dom9ie1 y "k4  ,i smil$4  ,h[ d y l  
,jim ,jackson8 ,i ask$ sudd5ly4  ,*eeky 
devil6  ,he's clev]1 ,i said4  ,y may   
call x clev]ness1 b ,i h ano!r "n = x4  
,he is a fell[ t requires to be sat on4 
,& y'll sit on him8  ,i c]ta9ly %all 444
 heavily too4  ,i tri$ to %[ ,macdonald 
t he 0 mak+ a crim9al blund]1 b he got  
impati5t4 ,i c't /& *eek1 he kept say+1 
& ,i _h to give up all hope ( conv9c+   
him t ,i 0 "r4 ,macdonald is ess5tially 
a /upid man4 ,i don't say t m]ely       
because he disagrees ) me2 ,i say x     
because he refuses to ?9k out 8 own     
attitude4 ,he cries t ,jim is *eeky1 b  
he won't g into ! o!r "q z to :e!r hum\r
 is impud5ce4 ,_h he argu$ t hum\r is a 
drawback 9 life ,i %\ld h piti$ 8 ta/e1 
b ,i %\ld h admir$ 8 ability to make out
 a good case4     ,,iii4   ,i h sp5t a  
h>d day =k+ hay along ) ,m>g>et ,?omson4
 ,m>g>et is tw5ty & bonny1 b %e is v1 v 
%y4 ,%e att5d$ my ,ev5+ class la/ w9t]1 

& %e appe>s to be afraid to speak to me4
 ,i tri$ to get h] to conv]se aga9 &    
aga9 to-day1 b x 0 ( no use4 ,i ?9k t %e
 fe>s to make a mi/ake 9 gramm> or to   
mispron\nce a ^w4  ,i he> h] voice      
outside at ! horse-tr\gh4 ,%e is bant]+ 
old ,pet] ,wilson1 & talk+ ?irte5 to !  
doz54 ,h] laugh is a mo/ delightful ?+4 
,i wond] did ,t\*/one l ,audrey's laugh6
  ,! ,?omsons are c>ry+ out 9 f>m+ !    
pr9ciples ,i set myself to c>ry out 9   
education4 ,!y treat _! bea/s ) !       
greate/ k9dness4 ,!re isn't a wild      
animal 9 ! place4 ,spot ! collie is a   
mo/ lovable creature2 ! %eep are all    
tame1 & ! c[s are quiet bea/s2 ! bull   
has a bold eye1 b he is z g5tle z a     
lamb4 ,! horses come to ! kit*5 door f !
 wat]-tr\gh1 & little ,nancy ,?omson    
fe$s !m ) bread4 ,e memb] ( ! family    
comes into p]sonal imm$iate contact ) ! 
animals1 & ! animals seem to love !     
family4 ,!re is no fe> 9 ?is f>my>d4    
,mrs4 ,?omson is a k9d-he>t$ s\l4 ,%e   
nev] goes d[n to ! village unless to !  

kirk on ,sunday4 ,%e works h>d all day1 
b %e is always *e]ful4 ,i l to see !m   
com9' 9 aboot1 %e says1 & %e seems to   
f9d ! greate/ pleasure 9 prep>+ !       
family's meals4 ,on a ,saturday bairns  
come up f ! village1 & %e gives !m      
pieces spread ?ick ) fre% butt] &       
/rawb]ry jam4 ,i'm nev] happy unless    
!re's a squad o' bairns roond me1 %e    
said to me to-day4  ,frank ,?omson is   
:at ! village w\ld call a funny sort o' 
a billie4 ,8 eyes are always tw9kl+1 &  
he tries to see ! funny side ( life4 ,he
 hasn't mu* hum\r1 b he has a /rong s5se
 ( fun1 & he loves to *aff ! y\ng/]s4   
,weel1 ,wullie1 is 8 inv>iable greet+ :5
 8 boy returns f s*ool 9 ! ev5+1 ,weel1 
,wullie1 & did ye get y] licks ! day8   
,on a ,saturday ,frank always has a     
troop ( girls hang+ on to 8 coat tails1 
& he is always play+ practical jokes on 
!m--lock+ !m 9 ! /able or cov]+ !m )    
/raw4  ,goad6 he w cry1 ye're an awfu'  
pack o' torm5tors2 j wait er ,aw tell ! 
dom9ie aboot ye6 & !y yell at him4      

,mrs4 ,?omson tells me t he is          
inord9ately pr\d ( hav+ me = a          
cattleman1 & at ! cattle m>t he boa/s   
ab\t hav+ an ,m4,a4 z fe$]4 ,i took two 
/ots into ! m>t ye/]day1 & :5 !y ent]$ !
 r+ a wag cri$3 ,are !y weel up 9 !     
,greek1 ?9k ye1 ,frank8 & ! f>m]s ro>$4 
,oh1 aye1 %\t$ ,frank1 !y're weel cramm$
 up wi' a'?+ t's guid6  ,i ?9k t !      
,scot* ,education ,dep>tm5t %\ld insi/  
on e tea*]'s go+ f>m+ e ?ree ye>s4      
,inside ! pr(ession y lose p]spective4  
,! educational pap]s are full ( articles
 ab\t geography & hi/ory & draw+1 b     
tea*]s seldom %[ t !y are look+ beyond !
 m]e curriculum4 ,! tra9+ colleges      
supply ! "y tea*] ) :at !y call ,m5tal  
,philosophy or ,psy*ology1 b x is q     
possible = an hon\rs graduate 9 m5tal   
philosophy to h no philosophy at all4   
,! "q = ! tea*] is3 ,:at am ,i aim+ at8 
,macdonald is aim+ at :at he calls a    
bright %[ be=e ! inspector4 ,to be j to 
! man ,i admit t he is hone/ly try+ to  
educate ^! bairns accord+ to 8 lights4  

,he wants to produce good s*ol>s1 b :5  
,i ask him :at he consid]s ! goal (     
humanity he is at sea4  ,he tells me t  
education %\ld n be made to produce     
little ,sociali/s z ,i seem$ to try to  
d4 ,b ,i d5y t ,i ev] tri$ to make my   
bairns ,sociali/s4 ,i told !m ! elem5tal
 tru? t a p>asite is an enemy ( society2
 ,i told !m t ! _w 0 out ( jo9t4 ,& ,i  
gave !m fre$om to develop _!            
p]sonalities 9 ! hope t1 fre$ f         
discipl9e & fe> & lies1 !y might become 
a bett] g5]ation ?an m9e has be54  ,!   
,macdonalds ( life h fail$ to produce   
?9k+ t is free2 ,i m]ely say3 ,let !    
*ildr5 h a say n[2 /op ?ru/+ y\r /upid  
b>b>ic ,au?ority d[n _! little ?roats2  
let ! bairns be free to brea!4 ,give up 
all ! snobbi% nons5se ab\t mann]s &     
respect & s]vility y ram into ! *ild2 if
 he refuses to lift 8 hat to y1 :o !    
devil are y t y %\ld co]ce him into do+ 
x8  ,i ?9k t "s ( ! m important villag]s
 7 annoy$ at ! bairns' obvi\s lack (    
respect1 or at lea/ ! semblance (       

respect4 ,b !y look$ = faults4 ,!y told 
me ( escapades aft] s*ool h\rs1 (       
compla9ts ( bosses aga9/ boys :o _h be5 
) me4 ,i ask$ ,george ,wilson1 ! mason1 
:e!r he w\ld exp& 8 criticism to include
 ! m9i/]4 ,d y blame ,mr4 ,gordon = e   
drunk & e !ft 9 ! village8 ,he has be5  
"h = ?irty ye>s1 &1 on y\r reason+1 he  
has be5 a failure4  ,aw d9na pay rates =
 keep9' up ! kirk1 he repli$1 b ,i pay  
rates to keep up ! s*ule1 & ,aw h a     
claim to creeticise ! wye ye tea* !     
bairns4  ,i see n[ t ,i nev] _h a *ance 
aga9/ ! enemy4 ,!y c\ld po9t to :at !y  
call$ faults 444 ,johnnie didn't "k 8   
,hi/ory1 ,lizzie did too mu* sket*+1    
,pet] wasn't def]5tial4 ,i c\ld po9t to 
no?+4 ,i _h aboli%$ fe>1 ,i _h made !   
s*ool a place ( joy1 ,i _h enc\rag$ ea* 
*ild's natural b5t 444 & ! village smil$
 scornfully & said3 ,we k5 nae diff]5ce4
  ,i f\nd myself worry+ ov] ! op9ions ( 
small m5 :o are ( no importance 9 ! _w (
 ideas2 /upid fools l$ me into tak+ up  
an et]nal position ( def5ce4 ,& ,i fum$ 

inw>dly1 = ,i am n always a ready talk]4
  ,b n[ ,i am able to smile at ! m5 :o  
bait$ me a few weeks ago4 ,!y don't     
c\nt4 ,9 ! great _w beyond ! hills !re  
are p :o take ! l>ge broad view (       
education1 & "s day education w really  
be a lead+ =? n a putt+ 94              
99       99       99  ,i met ,macdonald 
to-night1 & ,i ask$ him h[ ?+s 7 do+4   
,i'm 9 ! middle ( prizes1 he said       
we>ily1 & if !re's "o ?+ ,i dete/ x's   
prizes4  ,i began to ?9k t ,i _h        
misjudg$ ,macdonald4  ,excell5t6 ,i     
cri$1 we agree = once6 ,:at's y\r       
objection to prizes8  ,!y're su* a      
conf\nd$ nuisance4  ,grant$1 ,i said4   
,t's all ,i h aga9/ !m4 ,y nev] "k h[ y 
are to di/ribute ! ?+s4  ,:y d y object 
to !m8 he ask$4  ,i sat d[n on ,wilkie's
 dyke & lit my pipe4  ,i object to !m on
 pr9ciple1 ,macdonald4 ,!y're tips1 t's 
:at !y are4  ,tips8  ,yes4 ,i give a    
port] tupp5ce = see+ my bicycle into !  
van2 ,i give ,m>y ,rit*ie a book = beat+
 ! o!rs at read+4 ,i tip bo?4  ,i don't 

see x4  ,! port] %\ldn't get a tip2 8   
job is to look aft] luggage4 ,m>y's job 
is to read to improve h] m9d4  ,b1 said 
,macdonald1 life is full ( rew>ds4  ,i  
"k4 ,"h ,pet] ,mit*ell /roll$ up4 ,we're
 talk+ ab\t prizes1 ,i expla9$4 ,life is
 full ( rew>ds ( all k9ds1 b ! only     
rew>d t matt]s is ! joy 9 do+ a ?+ well4
 ,if ,i write a poem or pa9t a picture  
,i'm n writ+ or pa9t+ ) "o eye on       
royalties or ! auction room4 ,i sell my 
poem or picture 9 ord] to live 444 9 a  
dec5t civilisation ,i w\ldn't require to
 sell x to live1 b t's by ! way4 ,my    
po9t is t prizes are artificial rew>ds1 
j z /rapp+ is an artificial puni%m5t4   
,goad6 said ,pet] ,mit*ell1 d ye mean to
 tell me t ,aw wasna ?9k9' o' ! rew>d :5
 ,i selt my p[ney la/ ,saturday8        
,competition is a good ?+1 said         
,macdonald4 ,look at runn+ & sports &   
all t sort ( ?+4  ,i admit x1 ,i said1 y
 l to beat y\r p>tn] at golf4 ,b my     
cont5tion is t ! prize at ! end is      
vulg>2 ! joy is 9 be+ ! be/ spr9t] 9 !  

c\ntry4 ,aft] all y don't glory 9 ! fact
 t ,simpson took sev5 at ! t5? hole2 y\r
 glory lies 9 ! ?\ght t y did x 9 ?ree4 
,prizes 9 s*ool are n only vulg>3 !y are
 cruel4 ,take ,ell5 ,smi?4 ,ell5 has    
always be5 a fir/-rate ari?metician2 %e 
has ! tal5t4 ,= ! pa/ f\r ye>s %e has   
c>ri$ (f ! fir/ prize = ari?metic4 ,s>ah
 ,nelson is v good1 b "w z %e likes %e  
c't beat ,ell54 ,s>ah becomes despond5t 
e ye> at prize-giv+ "t4 ,bairns ar5't   
philosophical2 !y don't see t ! vulg>   
little book !y get isn't wor? ?9k+ ab\t4
 ,! ignorant noodles :o sit on ,s*ool   
,bo>ds 7,pet] ,mit*ell _h mov$ on by ?is
 "t7 /& up at ! s*ool exhibition & talk 
mu* cant ab\t prizes4 ',!m t don't get  
!m ?is ye> mu/ j make a spurt & get !m  
next ye>4' ,& ! poor bairns imag9e t a  
prize is ! gold5 fruit ( life4  ,i      
notice t ! m5 :o are ke5e/ on s*ool     
prizes are firm believ]s 9 s*ool        
puni%m5ts4 ,& !y are g5]ally religi\s4  
,_! god is a petty tyrant :o rew>ds !   
good & puni%es ! wick$4 ,!y try to act  

up to ! attitude ( _! god 444 h5ce1 ,i  
fancy ! t]m t9 god4                     
99       99       99  ,i see t _m em95t 
p are mak+ spee*es ab\t ,education ,aft]
 ! ,w>4 ,i c detect b little diff]5ce   
betwe5 _! attitude & t ( ! comm]cial m5 
:o keep %\t+ ,capture ,g]many's ,trade6 
,let u h m te*nical in/ruction1 cries ! 
educationi/1 m discipl9e2 let u beat    
,g]many at h] own game6 ,! comm]cial man
 *uckles4 ,excell5t6 he cries1 fir/-rate
 444 b ( c\rse we mu/ h ,protection     
also6  ,& ! educationi/ & ! comm]cial   
man w h _! way4 ,education w aim frankly
 at turn+ out highly effici5t           
wage-slaves4 ,! ,new ,education has     
comm5c$2 its fir/ act 0 to aboli%       
fre$om4 ,free spee* is dead2 a free     
press is m]ely a "n2 ! work]s 7 :e$l$   
into giv+ up _! fre$om to sell _!       
commodity lab\r to ! highe/ bidd]1 :ile 
! pr(ite] reta9s 8 "r to sell 8 goods at
 ! highe/ price he c get4 ,e re/riction 
on lib]ty is alleg$ to be necess>y to w9
 ! w>4  ,! al>m+ feature ( ! pres5t     

,prussianisation ( ,brita9 lies 9 !     
circum/ance t ! sign+ ( peace w be b !  
beg9n+ ( a new w>4 ,if ! plans ( ! ,p>is
 ,economic ,conf]5ce are c>ri$ out true 
education is int]n$ = a c5tury4         
,millions h lo/ _! lives 9 ! milit>y w>3
 millions w lose _! s\ls 9 ! trade w>4  
,j z we h sull5ly obey$ ! dictates ( !  
w> gov]nm5t1 we %all sull5ly obey !     
dictates ( ! trade gov]nm5t4 ,we mu/ w9 
! trade w>1 our rul]s w cry1 &1 if !    
pr(ite]s say t m5 mu/ "w sixte5 h\rs a  
day if we are to beat ,g]many1 ! ,press 
& ! ,*ur* & ! ,s*ool w p]suade ! public 
t ! man :o /rikes = a fifte5 h\rs day is
 a traitor to 8 c\ntry4  ,w anyone try  
to save education8 ,! comm]cial m5 w use
 x to fur!r _! own plans2 ! educationi/s
 w unconsci\sly play into ! pr(ite]s'   
h&s2 ! wom5 444 only ! o!r day !        
suffrage b& 0 m>*+ ?r\gh ! /reets (     
,london display+ a huge bann] be>+ !    
words ,we ,want ,hughes4 ,hughes is !   
,premi] ( ,au/ralia1 a ,lab\r man de> to
 ! he>ts ( all ! capitali/ newspap]s4 ,8

 "o text is ,trade aft] ! ,w>4  ,:o is  
!re to save education8 ,! tea*+         
pr(ession c\ld save x1 b tea*]s are     
m]ely s]vants4 ,!y w cont9ue to argue   
ab\t ,compulsory ,greek &1 no d\bt1     
,compulsory ,russian w come up =        
discussion 9 ! educational pap]s soon4  
,! comm]cially-m9d$ g5tlem5 ( ,we/m9/] w
 draw up ! new s*eme ( education1 & !   
tea*]s w humbly adapt !mselves to ! new 
me?od4  ,i don't ?9k t anyone w save    
education4     ,,iv4   ,i lay on a bank 
?is aft]noon smok+4 ,janet & ,jean &    
,annie came along ! road1 & !y sat d[n  
beside me4  ,i'm tir$ ( ! s*ool1 said   
,annie we>ily2 ,aw wi% ,aw 0 f\rte56    
,:at's wrong n[8 ,i ask$4  ,oh1 we nev] 
get any fun n[1 ! new me/]'s always s   
/rict1 & we get an awful lot o' home    
lessons n[4  ,annie got ! /rap on       
,friday1 expla9$ ,jean4 ,me/]           
,macdonald's braces broke ,aw ?9k1 at   
lea/ some?+ broke :5 he 0 b5d+ doon & he
 took an awful r$ face 444 & he _h to   
keep 8 h&s 9 8 p\*es till night "t to   

keep 8 breeks up4  ,did ,annie pull !m  
d[n8 ,i ask$4  ,jean titt]$4  ,no1 b %e 
laugh$ & he gave h] ! /rap4  ,aye1 cri$ 
,annie 9 delight1 & !y ne>ly cam doon :5
 he 0 /rapp9' me6  ,:y d awkw>d incid5ts
 occur to dignity8 ,i said1 m to myself 
?an to ! bairns1 my braces w\ldn't break
 9 fifty ye>s ( tea*+4 ,!n ,i laugh$4   
,m>g>et ,?omson came d[n ! road on h]   
way to ,ev5+ ,s]vice1 & %e r$d5$ z %e   
pass$4  ,eh6 laugh$ ,janet1 look+ up    
into my face1 did ye see yon8 ,maggie   
blu%$6 ,aw wudna wond] if %e has a      
notion o' ! ,me/]6  ,h[ c\ld %e help x1 
,jan8 ,i said4 ,:y1 y'll be hopelessly 9
 love ) me y\rself 9 a c\ple ( ye>s1 y  
besom6  ,%e />$ be=e h] vacantly = a    
little4  ,aw did h a notion o' y :5 ye  
cam fir/1 %e said sl[ly4  ,i put my arm 
r\nd h] neck4  ,y de> kid6 ,i said4  ,%e
 smil$ up 9 my face4  ,ye _h t bonny    
/rip$ tie on !n1 %e said artlessly4  ,i 
pull$ h] hair4  ,ye %ud m>ry ,maggie    
,tamson1 %e said aft] a pause4  ,aye1   
add$ ,jean1 & syne ye'll get ! f>m :5 h]

 fa!r dies4 ,he's tr\bl$ wi' !          
rheumatics & he'll no live v long4 ,& %e
 wud be a gran work] too4  ,d9na hav]1  
,jean1 said ,annie scornfully1 ! ,me/] w
 want a gran lady = 8 wife1 "o t c play 
! piano & h ham & egg to h] breakfa/    
ilka morn+4  ,no extravagant wife l t = 
me6 ,i prote/$4  ,aweel1 an egg ilka day
 & ham & egg on ,sundays onywye1        
compromis$ ,annie4  ,an egg e second    
morn+1 ,annie1 ,i said firmly1 & ham &  
egg e second ,sunday4  ,ladies d9na mak 
good wives1 said ,janet4 ,willie        
,mac9to% along at ,r9sley m>ri$ a lassie
 t 0 a piano tea*]1 & %e gets h]        
breakfa/ 9 h] b$ & has a wumman to wa%  
up4 ,aye1 & %e's ay dress$ & oot aft]   
d9n]time4 ,aye1 & %e s5ds a' 8 coll>s to
 ! laundry 444 & he only we>s a clean   
dicky on ,sawba?4  ,ah6 ,i said1 ,i'm   
glad y told me t1 ,janet2 ,i won't risk 
m>ry+ a lady4 ,b tell me1 ,janet1 h[ am 
,i to "k :at sort ( woman ,i am m>ry+8  
,x's q easy1 %e said sl[ly1 y j h to te>
 a button (f y\r wai/coat & if %e doesna

 (f] to m5d x ye %\ldna tak h]4  ,& spe]
 at h] :at "t %e gets up 9 ! morn9'1 %e 
add$2 ,maggie ,tamson rises at five ilka
 morn9'4  ,:y are y s anxi\s t x %\ld be
 ,m>g>et8 ,i ask$ ) real curiosity4     
,janet %ook h] head4  ,aw j ?9k %e's 9  
love wi' ye1 %e said simply2 %e blu%$4  
99       99       99  ,i w5t out ) my   
bugle to-night1 & ,i s\nd$ all ! old    
calls4 ,i f9i%$ up ) ,come = ,ord]s1 &  
,i walk$ sl[ly d[n ! brae to ! f>m4 ,jim
 ,jackson & ,dickie ,gibson came runn+  
up to me4  ,ye play$ ',come = ,ord]s6'  
pant$ ,jim z he wip$ 8 sweat+ face ) 8  
bonnet4  ,we'll soon rem$y matt]s1 ,i   
laugh$1 & ,i play$ ! ,dismiss4  ,jim    
p]*$ himself on a gate4  ,we'll hae to  
fall oot1 ,dick1 he said ) mock         
resignation1 come on & we'll sit "h till
 we get oor w9d back4 ,& ,dick climb$ up
 beside him4  ,h[ are ! lies gett+ on1  
,jim8 ,i ask$4  ,he %ook 8 head         
dolefully4  ,we got an essay ! day on ,!
 ,discov]y ( ,am]ica 444 & ye canna tell
 mony lies aboot t4 ,aw j said t        

,columbus discov]$ ,am]ica1 & wrote     
aboot 8 %ips4 ,! new ,me/] says we mu/  
/ick to ! tru?4  ,x is difficult to     
associate ! tru? ) ,am]ica1 ,i said4 ,b 
!re is a true side to ?is discov]y      
bus9ess4 ,to say t ,columbus discov]$   
,am]ica is a half-tru?2 ! :ole tru? is t
 ,am]ica isn't q discov]$ yet4 ,&rew    
,c>negie 0 fairly successful1 & ,*>lie  
,*apl9 is ano!r discov]] ( note1 b--    
,jim cle>ly did n und]/&2 he ?\ght t ,i 
0 pull+ 8 leg4  ,h['s ! pond8 ,i ask$1 &
 0 griev$ to f9d t nei!r ( ! boys _h any
 int]e/ 9 x4 ,! ,me/] taks u oot & gies 
u object lessons on ! m9n[s1 said       
,dickie1 & ,i groan$4  ,& ! pigeons8    
,object lessons too1 said ,jim ) evid5t 
disgu/4 ,:at family did he say doos     
belong$ to1 ,dick8  ,dick _h no idea4   
,! ^w dove comes f ! ,lat9 columba1 ,i  
said s5t5ti\sly4 ,h5ce ! "n ,columbus :o
 0 nam$ aft] ! dove t 0 s5t out ( !     
,ark4 ,:5 he le>n$ ?is z a boy he       
resolv$ to live up to 8 "n 444 h5ce !   
,am]ican ,eagle1 :i* ( c\rse has        

trans=m$ itself into a dove dur+ ,woodr[
 ,wilson's reign4  ,dick li/5$ op5-m\!d1
 b ,jim's eyes tw9kl$4  ,! ,me/] gives u
 d]ivations ilka day4 ,he telt u !      
d]ivation ( pond :5 he 0 gie9' u !      
object lesson1 b ,i canna m9d :at x 04  
,a weight6 cri$ ,dickie sudd5ly1 & ,i   
complim5t$ him on 8 indu/ry4  ,aye1     
giggl$ ,jim1 he %ud m9d x1 = he _h to   
write x oot a hund] times4  ,i made a   
cryptic rem>k ab\t ponds & pond]osity1 &
 !n ,i told !m ( ! boy :o _h to /ay 9 & 
write ! phrase ,i h gone _m times 9 ord]
 t he might grasp ! correct idiom4 ,he  
fill$ five pages2 !n he wrote some?+ at 
! bottom ( ! la/ page1 a message to 8   
tea*]4 ,! message read ,please1 sir1 ,i 
h w5t home4 ,dickie imm$iately ask$ :e!r
 ! boy got a lamm+ next morn+1 & ,jim   
look$ at him scornfully4 ,dickie has n  
got an al]t m9d4  ,to-night ,i am d\bt+ 
:e!r ,i 0 wise to return to ! village4  
,i seem to become sadd] e day4 ,my he>t 
is d[n 9 ! old ugly s*ool1 & ,i am      
jeal\s ( ,macdonald4 ,i "k t he is an   

inf]ior1 b he has my bairns 9 8 control4
 ,i confess to a sneak+ delight 9 ! k t 
he is n lik$ by ! bairns4 ,9 ?is respect
 ,i ?9k ,i am inf]ior to him2 ,i don't  
?9k he is jeal\s ( my popul>ity b (     
c\rse he may be aft] all4  ,jim's answ]+
 my bugle call makes me want to cry4 ,i 
c sit out ! mo/ pa!tic drama            
unemotionally2 :5 ! h]o says f>ewell =  
ev] to ! h]o9e ,i sit up *e]fully4 ,x is
 sweetness t affects me2 :5 ! h]o clasps
 8 love 9 8 arms ,i snivel4 ,9 ! c9ema  
:5 little ,willie is dy+ to sl[ music & 
! "m is wr++ h] h&s ,i smile1 b if      
,willie recov]s & sits up 9 b$ to hug 8 
t$dy be> ,i bl[ my nose4 ,i am unaffect$
 :5 ,pet] ,pan returns to f9d 8 "m's    
w9d[ %ut aga9/ him1 b :5 ! fairies build
 a h\se ov] ! sleep+ lo/ girl ,i h to   
light my pipe & c\gh /]nly4  ,i wi% ,i  
hadn't gone out ) my bugle to-night4    
99       99       99  ,macdonald is an  
ass4 ,he came to me ?is aft]noon4 ,look 
"h1 he began1 ,i wond] if y've any      
objection to my mak+ a few alt]ations 9 

! s*ool live /ock8  ,want to introduce a
 c[8 ,i ask$4 ,y believe 9 utilit>ianism
 9 education ,i fancy4  ,x's ! pigeons &
 rabbits1 he w5t on2 ,i 0 wond]+ if y   
w\ld object to my gett+ rid ( "o or two4
  ,:at's wrong8  ,x's ! sex matt]1 he   
said hurri$ly4 ,i don't l ! ?+2 ,i don't
 s mu* m9d ! infants ask+ awkw>d        
que/ions1 b :y ! deuce %\ld !y keep !m  
till ,i am speak+ to ! infant mi/ress8  
,ref] !m to ! lady1 ,i said ) a *uckle4 
,he look$ tr\bl$4  ,i mu/ get rid ( "o  
sex1 he said4  ,macdonald1 ,i said      
sev]ely1 ,i don't "k t y c d t )\t !    
p]mission ( ! *ildr54 ,! rabbits & doos 
are _!'s2 !y b\ght !m ) _! own money4   
,t's no great difficulty1 he said       
lightly4  ,possibly n 444 n = y1        
,macdonald4 ,if y use au?ority ! bairns 
w h>dly "q x4 ,b ,i don't see t y h ! "r
 to be an autocrat 9 ?is affair4  ,x is 
my duty to protect ! *ildr51 he said )  
dignity4  ,protect y\rself1 y mean6 ,i  
cri$2 y h j confess$ t y\r "o aim is to 
get rid ( awkw>d que/ions4  ,b :at c ,i 

d8 he /amm]$4  ,d6 ,d no?+1 j z ,i did4 
,let ! creatures bre$ z mu* z !y d>n$   
well please2 t's :at !y are !re =4 ,y   
c't v well make sex an object lesson2 ! 
logical ?+ to d is to give a lesson on  
poll9ation ( plants & !n g on to        
f]tilisation ( ! bird's egg1 b if y d t 
y'll get ! sack at once4 ,b !re's q     
en\gh ( prud]y 9 ! _w already )\t y\r   
turn+ a rabbit-hut* into a sultanless   
h>em4  ,!re are ?+s t *ildr5 %\ldn't "k1
 he said ) a t\* ( aggression4  ,& !re  
are ?+s t gr[n-ups %\ld "k & don't1 ,i  
said4 ,!y ought to "k t ! sex conspiracy
 ( sil5ce is idiotic & crim9al4         
,anyway1 he said sull5ly1 ,i'll tell !m 
to-morr[ t !re are too _m 9 ! h\se & t  
,i mean to get rid ( a few4  ,all "r1 ,i
 said resign$ly1 y c lie to !m if y want
 to4 ,!n ,i add$3 ,al?\gh1 m9d y1       
,macdonald1 ,i feel l tell+ ! bairns !  
real reason = y\r action4  ,he look$    
/>tl$4  ,don't be al>m$1 ,i said ) a    
smile1 ,i won't d x1 & he look$ reliev$4
  ,:y n look 9 at ! s*ool "s aft]noon8  

he said amiably :5 we p>t$1 b p]haps y  
feel t y've %ak5 (f ! du/ f y\r feet d[n
 !re8  ,i'll be delight$ to come d[n1 ,i
 said2 ,i didn't %ake (f ! du/ f my feet
 :5 ,i left 444 !re 0 q en\gh du/ !re   
already4  ,i ?9k ,i'll g d[n to-morr[   
aft]noon2 x 0 dec5t ( ,macdonald to ask 
me aft] all t ,i h said to him4         
99       99       99  ,a man sp5ds 8    
life wi%+ he _h done c]ta9 ?+s & wi%+ t 
he _h n done c]ta9 ?+s4 ,i half wi% t ,i
 _h n accept$ ,macdonald's invitation2  
,i feel lonely up "h n[3 on ! o!r h& ,i 
am glad t ,i w5t4 ,i ?9k n[ t           
,macdonald's real idea 0 to %[ me h[ he 
has improv$ ! s*ool4  ,f 8 po9t ( view  
he has improv$ x4 ,he %[$ me ex]cise    
books t 7 models ( neatness & c>e2 he   
%[$ me classes swott+ up subjects       
labori\sly2 ! rooms 7 z sil5t z ! grave4
  ,:5 ,i w5t 9 ,macdonald %ook h&s ) me 
=mally1 & ,i notic$ t 8 s*ool voice &   
mann] 7 prim & pr(essional4 ,i turn$ to 
! bairns & said3 ,hullo1 kids6 & !y rose
 9 a body & said3 ,good aft]noon1 sir6  

,ah6 ,i :isp]$ to ,macdonald1 ,i see ,i 
ought to h said3 ',good aft]noon1       
*ildr56' eh8 & he smil$ pr(essionally4  
,! high] classes 7 draw+4 ,! model 0 a  
vase4 ,i walk$ r\nd ! class 444 & swore 
sil5tly4 ,i _h sp5t two ye>s p]suad+ ^! 
bairns t !re is no b\nd>y l9e 9 nature2 
a :ite vase appe>s to h l9es z b\nd>ies 
simply because x usually /&s 9 front ( a
 d>k backgr\nd4 ,i made !m "w 9 !       
backgr\nd to %[ up ! model1 al?\gh ,i   
nev] gave !m vases or pails2 my draw+ 0 
all outside sket*+ ( trees & h\ses4 ,he 
0 mak+ !m l9e 9 ! draw+4  ,i am n mu*   
good at draw+1 he expla9$               
apologetically1 z a matt] ( fact ,i "k  
no?+ ab\t x4  ,9 t case1 ,i said1 :y n  
let !m g on ) ! me?ods ,i gave !m8 ,i "k
 some?+ ab\t ! subject4  ,he ask$ :at my
 me?ods 7 & ,i expla9$ !m 9 a few       
m9utes4 ,he express$ 8 gratitude & seem$
 hone/ly glad to le>n some?+ ab\t !     
subject4  ,i won't take !m out draw+    
?\gh1 he said2 an inspector might come  
to ! s*ool 9 my abs5ce4  ,y consci5ti\s 

devil6 ,i said1 let's h a squ9t at _!   
ex]cise books4  ,z he mov$ to ! cupbo>d 
a boy :isp]$ to 8 neighb\r & ,macdonald 
turn$ l a fla%2 ! lad visibly quail$    
be=e 8 fix+ eye4 ,i fanci$ t ! next     
inspector's report w\ld comm5ce ) !     
words3 ,! discipl9e ( ?is s*ool is      
excell5t4  ,! books 7 mu* neat] ?an m9e 
_h be54 ,i began to look = blots1 b !   
se>* 0 hopeless4  ,oh6 = ,god's sake1   
,macdonald1 %[ me ,pet] ,mackay's book2 
surely a good heal?y blot w be f\nd !re6
 ,b ,pet]'s book 0 scrupul\sly clean4   
,i _h to deal ) t boy ) a /]n h&1 said  
,macdonald grimly1 & z ,i /ood look+ at 
! book ,i sadd5$4  ,on ! outside ( ?is  
book y %\ld write ! words3 ',pet]       
,mackay 444 a ,trag$y1 by ,william      
,macdonald1' ,i said1 b ,i don't ?9k !  
man und]/ood me4  ,! ?ree o'clock       
int]val came4 ,/&6 comm&$ ,macdonald1 & 
! class rose z "o *ild4 ,front seat 444 
quick m>*6 ,! boys salut$ him z !y pass$
 out1 & ! girls curtsi$4 ,i tri$ n to   
laugh at ! fatu\s fell['s inculcation ( 

respect4 ,poor devil1 ,i ?9k !y w hate  
him 9 aft] ye>s2 he is ( ! br& ( dom9ie 
t is responsible = ! po/-s*ooldays habit
 ( %y+ divots & opprobri\s epi!ts at    
tea*]s pass+ along ! road4  ,on ! way   
out ,janet t\*$ my arm playfully1 b !   
eagle-ey$ discipl9>ian saw ! action & he
 gl>$ at h]4  ,_h y any tr\ble ) swe>+8 
he ask$ :5 ! la/ boy _h gone out4  ,n   
p>ticul>ly4 ,h y8  ,i've put x d[n ) a v
 firm h&4  ,i nev] bo!r$ ab\t x1 ,i said
 c>elessly4 ,i v seldom he>d x2 if ,i   
did happ5 to he> a boy /r+ toge!r a few 
/rong words ,i ridicul$ him1 told him !y
 didn't mean any?+4 ,once ,i 0 try+ to  
unscrew a /iff nut f my motor-bike & ,i 
address$ x audibly4 ,i he>d a snigg] &  
on look+ r\nd f\nd t ,jim ,jackson _h   
come up to wat* my ef=ts4  ,macdonald   
rais$ 8 eyebr[s & :i/l$4  ,pretty       
awkw>d1 eh8  ,n 9 ! lea/1 ,macdonald2 ,i
 m]ely said3 ',jim1 nev] wa/e good bad  
language2 "o day y may be a motor-cycli/
 & y'll ne$ x all !n4' ,jim nodd$       
approv+ly4  ,y w\ld h p]suad$ ,jim t he 

nev] he>d y\r words1 ,i add$4  ,i f9d t 
,i _c dislike ,macdonald4 ,he is        
ess5tially a dec5t fell[ ) a k9dly      
nature2 sometimes ,i feel t ,i am q fond
 ( him4 ,8 equanimity is *>m+2 he seldom
 %[s ! lea/ trace ( irritation :5 ,i    
talk to him4 ,b 8 m5tal laz9ess riles   
me2 he is s cock-sure ab\t 8 me?ods (   
education1 & ,i "k t ,i nev] c induce   
him to ?9k ! matt] out = himself4 ,!    
trag$y is t !re are a ?\s& ,macdonalds 9
 ,scots s*ools to-day4 ,( c\rse !y are  
hopelessly wrong4 ,i don't "k :e!r ,i am
 "r1 b ,i "k t !y are wrong4 ,!y /ick to
 a n>r[ code2 !y =ce y\? to foll[ _!    
silly behe/s reg>d+ respect2 !y kill !  
individuality ( ea* *ild4 ,:y 9 all !   
e>? does civilisation all[ su* asses to 
w>p ! *ildr58 ,:o is ,macdonald t any   
human be+ %\ld quail be=e 8 awful eye8  
,is he s righte\s t he %all puni% a boy 
= swe>+8 ,he sp5t a :ole morn+ lately   
cross-exam9+ ! bairns to discov] :o     
wrote ! words3 ,mr4 ,macdonald is daft  
on ! pigeon-h\se door4 ,at la/ "o wee   

*ap 0 intimidat$ into confess+1 &       
,macdonald :ack$ him & !n h>angu$ ! :ole
 s*ool4 ,! bairns 7 conv9c$ t ! lad _h  
committ$ ! s9 aga9/ ! ,holy ,gho/4  ,:at
 a m9d ! man has6 ,i discov]$ an obsc5e 
writ+ ab\t myself ?ree weeks aft] ,i _h 
come to ! s*ool4 ,! bairns held _! brea?
 :ile ,i read x4 ,i s5t = a clo? & eras$
 ! words4  ,:at's ! use ( scribbl+ silly
 rot l t8 ,i said1 & lit my pipe4 ,!re  
nev] 0 any m writ+ on ! wall 9 my "t4   
,h[ ! devil are bairns to ga9 any       
p]spective 9 life if a fool l ,macdonald
 sp5ds half a day inve/igat+ no?+8      
,education %\ld aim at giv+ a *ild a    
philosophy1 & philosophy simply means ! 
contemplation ( ! important ?+s 9 life4 
,if tea*]s emphasise ! importance ( ?+s 
l sil5ce & mann]s & dignity & respect1  
we _c expect our *ildr5 to rise high] 9 
lat] ye>s ?an ! *eap gossipy ly+ press &
 ! absurd sy/em we call p>ty politics4  
,! ,macdonalds />t out ) ! assumption t 
human nature is bad2 ,i />t out ) !     
realisation t human nature is good4 ,t  

is ! real di/9ction betwe5 !            
discipl9>ian & ! believ] 9 fre$om4 ,:5  
my boys /ole turnips1 wrote swe> words  
on walls1 talk$ & ate sweets z !y sat 9 
class ,i atta*$ little or no importance 
to _! actions2 all ,i tri$ to d 0 to br+
 out ! be/ t 0 9 a lad's nature 444 & ,i
 succe$$4 ,e *ild improv$ 444 no1 ,i 0  
=gett+ "o boy6 ,he came f a city s*ool1 
& 8 face 0 full ( impud5ce4 ,he look$   
r\nd my free s*ool & m>vell$2 he _h come
 f a ,macdonaldis$ s*ool & he naturally 
conclud$ t ,i 0 a s(t m>k4 ,"o day ,i   
said to him v mildly3 ,my g5tle y\?1 ?is
 s*ool is ,lib]ty ,hall1 n because ,i am
 weak b because ,i happ5 to be r        
/rong4444 ,i c\ld :ack y effectively if 
,i />t$ to y4 ,b ,i nev] manag$ to fit t
 boy into my s*eme ( ?+s4 ,he left aft] 
a few mon?s1 & aft] he _h gone he b\nc$ 
to o!r boys t he _h %ov$ _m p5s &       
ink-pots d[n a hole 9 ! floor4 ,i f\nd t
 he 0 tell+ ! tru?4  ,:at w\ld h happ5$ 
if ! boy _h rema9$ at s*ool ,i don't "k1
 b ,i ?9k t he w\ld h gradually adapt$  

himself to 8 environm5t4 ,he _h be5 re>$
 9 ! s*ools :]e physical =ce reign$1 &  
he und]/ood no o!r sy/em4 ,yes1 ,i fancy
 ,i c\ld h conv]t$ t y\?4 ,i ?9k ( ,hom]
 ,t4 ,lane & 8 ,little ,commonweal? 9   
,dorset1 :]e s call$ crim9al *ildr5 f ! 
police c\rts are giv5 self-gov]nm5t &   
become excell5t citiz5s1 & ,i "k t !    
,macdonalds are wrong4  ,n long ago     
,ed9burgh ,s*ool ,bo>d pass$ a motion   
ask+ ! local magi/rates to make _!      
bir*-rod s5t5ces sev]e en\gh to be      
effective4 ,once ^u a "t p ?\ght t      
lunatics 7 crim9als & !y la%$ !m ) :ips4
 ,a "t came :5 p realis$ t a lunatic 0 a
 diseas$ p]son & !y at once began to c>e
 = him t5d]ly4 ,n[adays ! enlight5$     
memb]s ( society realise t a crim9al is 
a diseas$ p]son 444 usually ! victim ( a
 diseas$ society 444 & !y passionately  
advocate 8 be+ treat$ z a sick man is   
treat$4 ,& ! ,s*ool ,bo>d ( ! capital ( 
,scotl& recomm5d t extra /ripes ) ! rod 
be giv5 to poor laddies :o /eal a few   
p5ce4  ,i feel q sure t no m9i/] 9 !    

c\ntry m5tion$ ! fact f 8 pulpit4 ,i    
expect !y 7 all too busy ana!matis+ !   
,hun to consid] :at ! attitude ( ,jesus 
,*ri/ 0 to m5 & wom5 tak5 9 s94 ,i %\ld 
l to prea* to t ,s*ool ,bo>d f ! text   
,suff] little *ildr5 to come unto ,me4  
,!re are two ways 9 education3          
,macdonalds ) ,au?ority 9 ! %ape (      
,s*ool ,bo>ds & magi/rates & prisons to 
support him2 & m9e ) ! ,*ri/like        
exp]im5t ( ,hom] ,lane to enc\rage me4  
,i wond] :y !re are two sides to ?is "q 
( education8 ,no "o b a fool w cont5d t 
! bir* rod is bett] ?an ! ,little       
,commonweal?4 ,i ?9k t n9ety p] c5t4 ( !
 ,macdonalds ( ,scotl& w\ld believe 9 ! 
,little ,commonweal?4 ,:y !n w\ld !y    
argue t _! sy/em ( tea*+ is bett] ?an   
m9e8 ,obvi\sly co]cion & au?ority make a
 *ild less individual ?an he might be4  
,ah6 x all turns on our respective      
attitudes to life4 ,boys are innately   
bad1 !y say1 :ack 'em6 ,boys are        
innately good1 ,i say1 ,i'll light my   
pipe & ask !m h[ _! rabbits are gett+   

on4                             99      
99       99  ,macdonald came hurry+ up  
to me to-night4  ,i q =got to ask y :5 y
 came d[n :at y us$ to d ab\t y\r desk4 
,! lock's brok52 h[ long has x be5 l t8 
,s9ce my fir/ week 9 s*ool1 ,i said4    
,good graci\s6 ,mean to tell me y\r desk
 0 op5 = two ye>s8  ,i nodd$1 & smil$ at
 8 con/]nation4  ,i've s5t d[n to !     
jo9]4 ,! situation is intol]able4 ,:y1 d
 y "k :at ,i f\nd 9 x to-day8  ,a packet
 ( sweets1 ,i haz>d$ 444 *ocolates if y 
7 lucky4  ,h[ did y guess8 he cri$ 9    
amazem5t4  ,my de> fell[1 my desk 0 a   
sweety %op "s days2 !y us$ to hide _!   
packets 9 e corn] ( x1 !n !y w\ld come  
to me & say3 ',please1 sir1 my pockie is
 9 ! wee corn] on ! "r2 d9na let onybody
 t\* x4' ,:o put !m 98 ,i ask$4  ,gladys
 ,mill]4  ,y h all ! luck1 ,i said4     
,gladys always buys liquorice rolls1 y  
"k !m 444 little yell[ sweets ) !       
sug>elly inside4 ,man1 ,i love yon      
sweets 444 & ,gladys knew x1 ! besom6   
,oh6 ,x's all v well = y to make a joke 

( x1 he said ) annoyance1 b ,i tell y ,i
 don't l x1 & aft] to-day ,i guess x'll 
be a long "t till anybody op5s my desk  
aga94 ,i talk$ to ,gladys to "s tune ,i 
c tell y4  ,i sigh$ we>ily & fill$ my   
pipe4  ,two ye>s6 said ,macdonald       
mus+ly1 two ye>s6 ,:at ab\t all y\r     
private books8 ,anybody might h read y\r
 ,log ,book1 or de/roy$ x ev56 & ! ?\ght
 almo/ made him turn pale4  ,& :at ab\t 
x8 ,nobody w ev] read x anyway4  ,eh8 ,8
 m\? gap$ at ?is late/ h]esy4  ,:at ab\t
 x8 ,i cont9u$1 :at ab\t ! :ole damn$   
lot ( regi/]s & log books & ,=m #i b's8 
,i didn't c>e a rap :o saw ! inside ( my
 desk or my log book4 ,z a matt] ( fact 
no "o saw :at 0 9 ! log2 nev] a *ild    
op5$ x4 ,:y8 ,because !re 0 no          
prohibition4 ,y lock up all ! blam$ ?+s 
& put ! fe> ( ,god on any kid t d>es t\*
 y\r desk 444 result6 !y look on all y\r
 belong+s z =bidd5 fruit1 & if !y c h&le
 y\r log book :5 y are safely out ( !   
way y bet y\r boots t !y'll d x4 ,c't y 
see t *ildr5 are really dec5t k9dly     

creatures ) _! own philosophy1 t is1 _! 
own idea ( ! importance ( ?+s8 ,:at is  
important to !m is a toy or a dogfight  
or a qu>rel or a love affair4 ,!y don't 
want to t\* /odgy (ficial books4 ,b :5 y
 say to !m3 ',?is desk is holy gr\nd'   
:y1 e self-respect+ kid has b "o        
ambition 9 life 444 to poke 8 nose into 
y\r desk & hide y\r regi/]s4  ,well1 he 
said ) a grim smile1 :at ab\t ^? tools 9
 ! woodwork room8 ,if *ildr5 are ! sa9ts
 y make !m out to be1 h[ did y\r boys   
come to spoil good tools8  ,i admit t ,i
 made a mi/ake1 ,i said *e]fully4 ,i set
 out on ! assumption t a boy c be tru/$ 
) tools4 ,i dropp$ ! belief4 ,wood 0    
sc>ce & (t5 ,i c\ldn't get en\gh to keep
 ! boys work+4 ,result6444 !y took to   
hamm]+ nails into b5*es & walls4 ,i see 
n[ t mu* ( a boy is de/ructiv5ess4 ,i   
might h kn[n x1 = z a boy ,i tore !     
inside out ( ev]y?+ to see h[ x work$4  
,if ,i _h a small class ,i c\ld h kept  
!m int]e/$ 9 mak+ an article4 ,yet ,i   
rememb] see+ ,tom ,watson1 ! be/ work] 9

 ! s*ool1 make a good rabbit-tr\gh2 !n  
:5 he _h f9i%$ he delib]ately *ipp$ a   
*unk (f a plane ) a hamm]4  ,:at did y  
d8  ,i simply *uck$ him out ( woodwork2 
told him he wasn't beyond ! infant-room 
/age1 & gave him lessons ) a class two  
grades bel[ 8 own4  ,did y *uck him out 
=cibly8  ,i suppose ,i did4  ,ah6       
,macdonald look$ triumphant4 ,9 o!r     
words y =got y\r pr9ciples & puni%$8    
,human nature is weak1 ,i said sadly4   
,if ,i saw a boy /ick+ a p5-knife into !
 tyre ( my bicycle ,i %\ld kick him 444 
kick him h>d & !n kick him aga94 ,!re is
 su* a ?+ z elem5tal rage 9 e man--ev5  
,*ri/ us$ a :ip 9 ! temple4 ,!re are    
times :5 y _c reason3 y act impulsively4
 ,pr9ciple c't t\* ?is1 b x comes 9 :5  
rage is gone4 ,if ,i am a magi/rate & a 
boy comes be=e me *>g$ ) de/roy+ a      
bicycle ,i p]sonally h no rage aga9/ !  
boy1 & if ,i puni% him ,i'm m]ely s]v+  
out juridical v5geance4 ,if ,i ord] him 
to be bir*$ ! jailor has no grudge aga9/
 ! boy4 ,! ma9 po9t is t ! own] ( !     

cycle acts be=e reason+1 :ile !         
magi/rate acts aft] reason+4 ,& 8 reason
 _c prompt him to behave any bett] ?an !
 injur$ own] did4 ,! own] is primitive  
man = ! "t be+3 ! magi/rate /&s =       
reason+ civilisation4 ,9 o!r words      
reason+ civilisation is no bett] ?an !  
b>b>ian4 ,t's :y ,i object to juridical 
puni%m5t4  ,ha6 ,ha6 he laugh$ ) a sne]1
 :5 x t\*es y\rself y let all y\r       
pr9ciples slide1 j z ! mo/ extreme      
,sociali/ turns ,tory if he happ5s to   
get money6  ,macdonald1 ,i said sl[ly1  
,i'm sorry y said t1 = x means t y'll   
reject ev]y?+ ,i br+ =w>d4 ,y'll grasp !
 idea t my views are useless because ,i 
tell y ,i c smite :5 ,i am angry1 & y'll
 consequ5tly reject ev]y?+ ,i say4 ,y're
 l ! man :o cries to a ,sociali/ orator3
 ',:y don't y sell y\r wat* & divide !  
proce$s among ?is cr[d8' or l ! man :o  
tells a memb] ( ! no-hat brigade t he   
%\ld g nak$ to be consi/5t4 ,if ,i 7 to 
adopt y\r tactics ,i might ask :y y     
don't get ! ,s*ool ,bo>ds to provide    

muzzles = ! *ildr5 on ! plea t s mu* (  
y\r en]gy is tak5 up 9 keep+ !m sil5t4  
,if y make !m salute y ,i see no logical
 reason :y y %\ldn't c>ry respect to its
 extreme & =ce !m to kneel d[n & kiss   
y\r boots4 ,if y insi/ on p]fect        
tru?fulness :y d y try to hide ! tru?   
ab\t ! sex ( pigeons8 ,y pret5d to be a 
believ] 9 p]fect ob$i5ce to au?ority1 & 
yet ,i saw y ride a bicycle )\t a light 
! o!r night4 ,i am q will+ to prove t e 
man is inconsi/5t4 ,b]n>d ,%aw w\ld no  
d\bt f9d "s difficulty 9 expla9+ h[ 8   
humanit>ian veget>ianism bl5ds ) 8 we>+ 
( lea!r boots2 = ,i don't suppose t he  
has boots made f ! hides ( animals t di$
 ( old age4 ,i gave up %oot+ & fi%+     
because ,i saw t bo? 7 cruel1 yet ,i w  
kill a wasp or a rat on occasion4 ,if a 
tig] got loose d[n 9 ! village ,i %\ld  
at once borr[ ,frank ,?omson's gun1 b ,i
 %\ld refuse to g tig]-hunt+ 9 ,b5gal4  
,my de> *ap1 ,i am z full (             
inconsi/5cies z an egg's full ( meat4 ,s
 are y2 s is e man4 ,! be/ ( u are b    

poor weakl+s1 = we are ea* c>ry+ !      
in/9cts ( millions ( our tree- &        
cave-dwell+ ance/ors on our backs4 ,my  
po9t1 h[ev]1 is t 9 spite ( our         
weaknesses & animalisms we are          
pr$om9antly good4 ,i am a caveman once 9
 five ye>s2 ,i am a reason+ humanit>ian 
! re/ ( ! "t4 ,y fa/5 on my elem5tal    
side & refuse to ?9k t !re c be any good
 9 my humanit>ian side4  ,y see1 ,i q   
e>ne/ly believe t y\r respect = law &   
au?ority is g5u9e1 almo/ religi\s1 & !  
fact t ,i saw y break ! law by rid+ )\t 
a light doesn't make me d\bt y\r respect
 = law4  ,i _h _h a puncture1 he        
expla9$4  ,exactly6 ,ext5uat+           
circum/ances4 ,t's :at ,i might plead :5
 ,i kick ! boy :o delib]ately punctures 
my ma*9e 444 b y w\ld laugh4 ,:y1 ,i ?9k
 ,i %\ld />t 9 to lecture y on y\r      
inconsi/5cies6  ,i f9d t ! wor/ man to  
answ] is ! fundam5tal antagoni/4 ,i us$ 
to be /ump$ by ! anti-sociali/ cry3     
,socialism w de/roy ent]prise6444 until 
,i discov]$ t ! be/ answ] to ?is 03 ,if 

ent]prise has made mod]n capitalism &   
indu/rialism1 by all means let x be     
de/roy$4 ,macdonald w cr[ ov] :at he    
consid]s my failure to be consi/5t1 b x 
w nev] once /rike him t my frank        
self-analysis is a ?+ t he w nev]       
practise himself4  ,conf\nd ,macdonald6 
,he has l$ me into def5d+ myself2 he    
nev] def5ds himself :5 ,i attack him2 he
 is f> too cocksure to h any d\bts ab\t 
himself4     ,v4   ,i am los+ ,jim      
,jackson4 ,! battle = 8 s\l is unequal4 
,macdonald has him all ! day1 :ile ,i   
only see him at int]vals4 ,he came up to
 ! f>m to-night1 & he 0 morose 9 mann]4 
,8 face is gradually assum+ a sne]+     
expression1 & 8 rep>tee is less         
spontane\s & m bit+4 ,i manag$ to br+   
back 8 bett] self to-night1 b ,i fe> t a
 day w soon come :5 he w s9k 8 bett]    
self = ev]4 ,8 fa!r & "m are p aft]     
,macdonald's own he>t4 ,!y are typical  
village folk1 /upid & aggressive4 ,oh1  
,i loa! ! village2 x rem9ds me ( ,george
 ,d\glas's ,b>bie 9 ,! ,h\se ) ! ,gre5  

,%utt]s2 x is full ( envy & malice &    
smallness4 ,!re are too _m fri5ds 9 !   
village4 ,mrs4 ,bell is ,mrs4 ,web/]'s  
si/]1 & !y h liv$ next door to ea* o!r =
 tw5ty-five ye>s1 dur+ :i* "t !y h n    
ex*ang$ a s+le ^w4 ,!y qu>rell$ ov] !   
division ( _! "m's goods4 ,:5 ! fa!r    
dies !y w meet & weep toge!r ov] 8 c(f92
 !y w be insep>able = a few days 444 !n 
!y w h a r[ ov] ! old gr&fa!r clock1 &  
!y won't speak to ea* o!r aga94  ,pet]  
,jackson is a l\d-m\!d fool1 & 8 wife is
 a w>rior4 ,%e has ! jaw ( a            
prize-fight]4 ,jim 0 dissect+ ! front   
:eel ( 8 old bicycle ! o!r night at !   
door1 & ,i /opp$ to give him a h& ) !   
balls4 ,8 "m came to ! door4  ,jim6 %e  
rasp$1 come away to y] b$6  ,wait till  
,aw get ?ae balls 91 "m1 he plead$4     
,come away to y] b$ ?is me5ute6 %e      
bawl$1 or ,aw'll gie ye ! bigge/ ?ra%9' 
ye ev] got 9 y] life6 ,& ! poor boy _h  
to leave 8 cycle & obey4  ,:at ab\t ?is8
 ,i said to ! "m1 & ,i po9t$ to ! cycle4
  ,he'd no bus9ess tak9' x to bits1 %e  

%\t$ & %e slamm$ ! door4  ,poor lad6    
,betwe5 ,macdonald & a "m l t he w live 
h>dly4 ,ea* w break 8 w2 ea* w insi/ on 
p]fect ob$i5ce to arbitr>y ord]s4 ,i am 
hone/ly amaz$ at ! small success ,i _h )
 ,jim4 ,he 0 leav+ my free s*ool e night
 to g home to an atmosph]e ( ang] &     
brutal /upidity4 ,n[ he is leav+ 8 poor 
home e morn+ to g to ! prison (         
,macdonald4 ,no wond] ! lad is laps+4 ,9
 a few ye>s he w be a typical villag]2  
he w /& at ! brig ( an ev5+ & make      
cau/ic comm5ts on ! pass]s-by2 he w sne]
 at ev]y?+ & ev]ybody4 ,macdonald is    
?9k+ ab\t ! answ]+ ,jim w d :5 !        
inspector comes2 ,i 0 ?9k+ ( ! ,jim t   
w\ld "o day /& at ! brig among 8        
acqua9tances4 ,i didn't c>e a brass f>?+
 :at he le>n$ or h[ mu* he att5d$2 all  
,i tri$ to d 0 to help him to be a f9e  
man1 a k9dly man1 a free man4  ,i       
recollect a "y tea*] :o visit$ my s*ool 
"o morn+4  ,i %\ld l to see y give a    
lesson1 he said4  ,) pleasure1 ,i       
repli$4  ,:at sort ( lesson w x be8 he  

ask$1 geography or hi/ory8  ,i don't "k1
 ,i said1 & ,i turn$ to my bairns4  ,:y 
d rabbits h :ite tails8 ,i ask$1 & f t  
we w&]$ on ?r\gh protective coloration &
 h]$ity to wolves & _! fe> ( fire4 ,we  
f9i%$ up ) poetry1 b ,i don't recollect 
h[ we got to x4 ,:5 ,i _h f9i%$ he      
pond]$ = a little4  ,x's all wrong1 he  
said4 ,t boy 9 ! corn] 0 half asleep2   
f\r ( ^! girls w]5't really att5d+ to y1
 & two girls left ! room4  ,my fault1 ,i
 said4 ,i took !m to subjects !y w]5't  
int]e/$ 94  ,no1 he said decid$ly1 x 0  
only y\r fault 9 n =c+ !m to sit up &   
att5d4  ,b :y %\ld ,i8 ,i ask$ we>ily4  
,s*ool+ is ! beg9n+ ( ! education we    
call life1 & ,i want to make x z true to
 life z possible4 ,9 aft] life no "o    
compels my att5tion or y\rs4 ,we c sleep
 9 *ur* & we c sleep at a political     
meet+4 ,we le>n lots ( ?+s b we are     
int]e/$ 9 !m4 ,tell me1 :at boy 9 ?is   
room answ]$ be/8  ,he po9t$ to a boy (  
twelve4  ,i agree1 ,i said1 & ,i call$ !
 boy to my desk4  ,hugh1 ,i said1 k9dly 

tell ?is g5tleman h[ long y h be5 at    
s*ool4  ,a week1 sir1 he repli$4  ,:at  
s*ool did y come f8 ask$ ! visitor4  ,i 
nev] 0 at any s*ool 9 my life1 he said1 
my fa!r lives 9 a c>avan & ,i nev] 0    
long en\gh 9 a place to g to s*ool4  ,i 
expla9$ t ,hugh _h come volunt>ily to me
 say+3 ,my fa!r c't read or write1 & ,i 
c't ei!r1 b ,i want to be able to read  
ab\t ! w> & ?+s l t4  ,i don't "k :at to
 make ( x1 said my visitor4  ,x is a    
great lesson on education1 ,i said4 ,he 
feels t he wants to read 444 & he comes 
to s*ool seek+ k4 ,& t's :at ,i want to 
sup]s$e compulsion4 ,if ,i _h my way no 
boy w\ld le>n to read a ^w until he     
desir$ to read2 no boy w\ld d any?+     
unless he want$ to d x4  ,!n he br\ght  
=w>d ! old argum5t t fre$om l t 0       
h&icapp+ !m = aft] life2 !y w\ld n face 
difficulties4  ,hugh 0 up aga9/ a great]
 difficulty ?an mo/ boys ev] come up    
aga9/1 ,i said1 & he fac$ x bravely &   
confid5tly4 ,:5 y are free f au?ority y 
h a w ( y\r own2 y "k exactly :at y want

 & y set y\r tee? & get x4 ,y are on y\r
 own1 y h acquir$ responsibility4 ,giv5 
a dictat+ tea*] or p>5t a boy w d !     
m9imum on 8 own responsibility4 ,good   
"l6 if ,i make all ^! y\ng/]s sit up &  
att5d /r5u\sly to my speak+ ,i am n     
tra9+ !m to face difficulties2 ,i am    
simply bully+ !m1 mak+ !m a subject     
race4  ,y are tra9+ "*4  ,i w\ld be     
tra9+ *ildr5 to obey1 & ! fir/ ?+ a *ild
 %\ld le>n is to be a rebel4 ,if a man  
isn't a rebel by ! "t he is tw5ty-five1 
,god help him6 ,"* simply means a man's 
nature1 & ,i refuse to *ange a man's    
nature by =ce2 ,i leave ! exp]im5t to ! 
judges & prison w>d]s4  ,i want to ask e
 dom9ie :o believes 9 co]cion :at he    
?9ks ( ! results ( _m ye>s' co]cion4    
,obvi\sly pres5t-day civilisation ) its 
crim9al division ( humanity into        
p>asites & slaves is all wrong4  ,b1 a  
dom9ie might cry1 c y def9itely blame   
elem5t>y education = t8  ,i answ]3 ,yes1
 yes1 yes6  ,! manhood ( ,brita9 to-day 
has pass$ ?r\gh ! s*ools2 !y h be5 lull$

 to sleep2 !y h nev] le>n$ to face !    
awful tru? ab\t civilisation4 ,& ,i     
blame ! co]cion ( ! tea*]s4 ,tra9 a boy 
to obey 8 tea*] & he w naturally obey e 
dirty politician :o has ! faculty (     
rhetoric2 he w naturally believe ! lies 
( e dirty newspap] proprietor t is play+
 8 own dirty game4                      
99       99       99  ,i h be5 sp5d+ !  
week-end ) a man ,i us$ to dig ) 9      
,london4 ,he is a great raconteur & we  
sat late swopp+ y>ns4  ,did y ev] he> a 
good y>n )\t a po9t8 he ask$4  ,i said t
 ,i hadn't4  ,well1 ,i'll tell y "o1 he 
said1 & he trott$ out ! foll[+4  ,9 a   
small seaside t[n on ! ea/ coa/ an      
anci5t m>9] sits on ! bea* & y>ns to    
visitors4 ,:5 ! ,balkan ,w> 0 go+ on my 
fri5d ask$ him if he _h ev] be5 to      
,turkey4 ,my fri5d assur$ me t ! man _h 
nev] be5 f>!r ?an ,newca/le 9 8 life4   
,man1 said ! m>9] reflectively1 ,aw m9d 
:5 an ord] cam f ! ,sultan o' ,turkey to
 ! sweetie works "h = pepp]m9ts4 ,!     
manag] cam doon to me & he says to me1  

says he3 ',man1 ,jock1 ,aw wond] if ye  
w\ld c>e to tak oot a c>go o' pepp]m9ts 
to ! ,sultan o' ,turkey8'  ,aweel1 !    
',daisy' 0 ly9' 9 ! h>b\r at ! "t1 s ,aw
 says t ,aw wud tak !m oot4  ,weel1 we  
got !m abo>d1 & awa we sail$1 & a damn$ 
r\gh passage we _h too2 man1 ! ,bay o'  
,biscay 0 z bad z ,aw've ev] se5 x4     
,weel1 we got to ,con/ant9ople1 & "h 0 !
 ,sultan /ann9' on ! pi] wi' 8 h&s 9 8  
breek poo*es4 ,he cam abo>d & said he   
wud l to hae a look o' ! pepp]m9ts4 ,he 
_h a look o' !m1 & syne he comes up to  
me & he says3 ',look "h1 capta91 ,aw've 
be5 hae9' a look o' y] crew1 & 444 weel1
 to tell ! tru?1 ,aw d9na l ! look o'   
!m2 !re's n wan t ,aw wud l to tru/ up  
at ! h>em4 ,s1 capta91 ,aw 0 j ?9k9' t  
,aw wud l ye to c>ry up ?ae pepp]m9ts   
y]sel 444 ye're a m>ri$ man1 are ye no8'
  ,aw telt him t ,aw 01 & ,aw />t$ to   
c>ry up ?ae pepp]m9ts1 & a damn$ h>d job
 x 01 man4 ,!y w]5a ! ord9>y pepp]ies1  
ye k52 !y 7 great muckle ?+s l curl9'   
/anes4 ,weelaweel1 ,aw got !m a' c>ri$  

up1 & ,aw 0 /&9' wip9' ! sweat frae my  
face :5 ! ,sultan comes an[] to me4     
',aye1 capta91' says he1 't'll be dry   
w>k8'  ',yes1 sir1' says ,i1 'gey dry4' 
',are ye a 'totall]8' says he4  ',no1'  
says ,i1 & he taks me by ! arm & says3  
',c'wa & hae a nip6'  ,weel1 we ga$ into
 a pub1 & he ord]$ twa nips 444 aye1 &  
damn$ guid :iskey x 0 too4 ,we _h ano!r 
twa nips1 & ,aw'm /&9' wi' ! ,sultan at 
! door1 j aboot to %ak h&s wi' him1 ye  
k51 & he says to me1 says he3 ',capta91 
wud ye l to see ! h>em8' & ,aw said ,aw 
wud v]ra mu*4 ,s he taks haud o' my arm 
& we goes up ! brae4 ,we cam to a great 
muckle hoose1 & he taks a gold key oot  
o' 8 poo*1 & op5s ! door4  ,man1 ,aw    
nev] saw ! likes o' yon6 ,! floor 0 a'  
gold1 & ! w9d[-bl9ds 0 gold4 ,& ! wem56 
7,! m>9] convey$ 8 admiration by a long 
:i/le47  ,weel1 ,aw 0 /&9' j inside !   
door wi' my bonnet 9 my h&1 :5 a bonny  
bit lassie comes up to me & ?rew h]sell 
at my feet & took haud o' my knees &    
sang3 ',f> awa to bonny ,scotl&6'  ,man1

 ! te>s cam into my e5 z %e 0 s+9'4     
,syne ! ,sultan turns to me4  ',aye1    
man1' he says1 says he1 'speak9' aboot  
,scotl&3 ,scotl&'s ! f9e/ c\ntry on e>?2
 b !re's wan ?+ ,aw canna /& aboot      
,scotl&1 & t's y] dawm$ gre5 kail4      
,!re's no a cont95tal /ammick w haud x  
doon4'  ,my fri5d in=m$ me t he nev] met
 an ,engli%man :o appreciat$ t y>n4     
99       99       99  ,i beg9 to wond]  
:e!r ,i am fall+ 9 love4 ,ev] s9ce      
,m>g>et blu%$ :5 %e pass$ me on ! brae  
,i h be5 extremely consci\s ( h]        
exi/5ce4 ,i f9d t ,i am beg9n+ to look =
 h]1 & ,i g to ! dairy on ! flimsie/ (  
pret5ces4 ,i 0 !re ?ree times ?is       
aft]noon4  ,:at d y want ?is "t8 %e ask$
 ) a laugh at my ?ird appe>ance4  ,i    
h>dly "k1 ,i said sl[ly1 b ,i ?9k ,i    
want$ to see y\r b>e arms aga94  ,%e    
ha/ily drew d[n h] sleeves & r$d5$2 !n  
to cov] h] confusion %e made a %[ (     
putt+ me out =cibly4 ,h[ ,i manag$ to   
refra9 f kiss+ h] tempt+ lips ,i don't  
"k4 ,i ne>ly fell 444 b x sudd5ly came  

to me t a kiss might mean s v mu* to h] 
& s little to me & 444 ,i resi/$ !      
temptation4  ,%e is fa/ los+ h] %yness1 
& %e talks to me ) gr[+ frankness4 ,%e  
has begun to read mu* lately1 & %e      
dev\rs p5ny novelettes ) avidity4 ,%e   
has a romantic m9d1 & my realism        
sometimes %ocks h]4 ,i happ5$ to meet h]
 9 t[n la/ ,saturday1 & ,i took h] to ! 
pictures4 ,%e 0 int5sely mov$ by a      
romantic film /ory1 & :5 ,i expla9$ t ! 
/uff 0 rank s5tim5talism & rhetoric %e  
seem$ to be (f5d$4  ,y criticise ev]y?+1
 %e cri$ angrily1 don't y believe t !re 
is any good 9 ! _w8  ,y w nev] be happy1
 %e add$ s]i\sly1 y criticise too mu*4  
,surely1 ,i cri$1 y don't imag9e t ,i   
criticise y6  ,i d1 %e said bitt]ly4 ,y 
criticise y\rself & me & ev]ybody4 ,i am
 always 9 t]ror t ,i make a slip 9      
gramm> be=e y4  ,m>g>et6 ,i cri$ ) real 
sorr[1 ,i hate to ?9k t ,i h giv5 y t   
impression4  ,i 0 sil5t = a long "t4    
,kid1 ,i said1 y are q "r4 ,i d         
criticise ev]y?+ & ev]ybody1 b a bett]  

^w is analyse2 ,i analyse myself & !n ,i
 try to analyse y4  ,z a boy1 ,i add$1  
my *ief pa/ime 0 buy+ sixp5ny wat*es &  
te>+ _! insides out to see h[ !y work$  
444 b ,i nev] saw h[ !y work$4  ,yes1 %e
 said1 & t's :at y w\ld d if y _h a     
wife2 y w\ld te> h] to bits j to see h[ 
%e work$ 444 & y w\ld nev] f9d out h[ %e
 work$ ei!r4  ,p]haps ,i might1 ,i said 
) a smile4 ,:5 ,i dissect$ wat*es ,i 0  
inexp]i5c$2 n[adays ,i c\ld take a wat* 
to pieces & f9d out h[ x work$4 ,p]haps 
,i might manage to put my wife toge!r   
aga91 ,m>g>et4  ,!re w\ld be "o or two  
:eels left ov]1 %e laugh$4  ,i %\ld l h]
 bett] )\t !m1 said ,i4  ,oh6 %e cri$   
impati5tly1 :y c't y be l o!r m58 ,:at's
 ! use ( look+ into ! inside ( ev]y?+8  
,look at fa!r2 he nev] bo!r$ ab\t :at "m
 02 he j ?\ght h] p]fect & look h[ happy
 he is6  ,ah6 ,i said teas+ly1 ,i       
und]/&6 ,y don't want a man to analyse y
 9 case he discov]s t y ar5't p]fect6   
,%e look$ at me frankly4  ,i w\ldn't l  
to be ?\ght p]fect1 %e said sl[ly4 ,i   

sometimes ?9k t "m w\ld ?9k f> m ( fa!r 
if he saw "s faults 9 h]4  ,i am q      
puzzl$1 ,i said2 y grumble because ,i   
analyse p & n[ y grumble because y\r    
fa!r doesn't4 ,:at d y mean1 *ild8 ,b %e
 %ook h] head helplessly4  ,oh1 ,i don't
 "k1 %e cri$1 & %e sat = a long "t 9    
deep ?\ght4  ,z ,i sat by h] side 9 !   
picture-h\se tea-room ,i recollect$ a   
say+ ( h]'s "o day la/ week4 ,i 0 sitt+ 
at ! bo?y door read+ ,! ,new ,age1 & at 
my feet lay ,! ,nation & ,! ,new        
,/atesman4 ,%e pick$ up ,! ,nation &    
glanc$ at its pages4  ,i don't "k :y y  
wa/e y\r money on pap]s l t1 %e said    
petulantly4 ,y sp5d eighte5p5ce a week  
on pap]s1 & fa!r only gets ,john ,bull &
 ,! ,p's ,j\rnal4  ,x sudd5ly came to me
 t ,m>g>et 0 n ?9k+ ( ! money side ( !  
"q at all2 :at annoy$ h] 0 ! ?\ght t ^! 
pap]s 7 a symbol ( a _w t %e did n "k4  
,& n[ ,i wond] :e!r woman is n always   
jeal\s ( a man's "w4 ,x is a long "t    
s9ce ,i read ,antony & ,cleopatra1 b ,i 
half fancy t ,cleopatra 0 mu* m jeal\s (

 ,antony's "w ?an ( 8 wife4     ,,vi4   
,dickie ,gibson cut me dead to-night1 & 
,i ?9k t ,jim ,jackson w "o day look !  
o!r way :5 ,i pass4 ,x is v sad1 & ,i   
feel to-night t all my "w 0 9 va94 ,i   
_c1 h[ev]1 blame ,macdonald ?is "t1 =   
,dickie has left ! s*ool4 ,i feel       
some:at griev$ at n be+ able to lay !   
fault at ,macdonald's door4 ,i %\ld     
blame myself if ,i hone/ly c\ld1 b ,i   
_c1 = ,dickie 0 a lad :o lov$ ! s*ool4  
,i recollect ! morn+ :5 we arriv$ to f9d
 a huge /one ca/ 9 ! middle ( ! pond4   
,x's be5 "s ( ! big lads1 said ,dickie4 
,b :y8 ,i ask$4 ,:y %\ld !y d a dirty   
trick l t8 ,w\ld y d a ?+ l t1 ,dickie1 
aft] y _h left ! s*ool8  ,he ?\ght = a  
m9ute4  ,aye1 he said sl[ly1 if ,aw 0 ) 
bigg] lads & !y did x ,aw wud d x too4  
,i suppose t if ,i _h be5 a really great
 man ,i might h conqu]$ ! _s ( !        
village4 ,i 0 only a poor pione] /riv+  
to make ^! bairns happi] & bett]4       
,dickie's cutt+ me proves t ,i 0 n good 
en\gh to lead him away f ! atmosph]e ( !

 village4 ,i us$ to =get ab\t ! homes2  
,i us$ to =get t _m a *ild _h to li/5 to
 h>% criticisms ( my me?ods4 ,i m>vel n[
 t !y 7 s nice at s*ool4 ,i wond] :e!r  
we c\ld n =m a ,bo>d to enquire into !  
upbr++ ( *ildr54 ,we might call x !     
,bo>d ( ,p>5tal ,control4 ,x w\ld br+   
p>5ts be=e x & exam9e !m4 ,p>5ts        
convict$ ( /upidity w\ld be ord]$ to h& 
ov] _! *ildr5 to a ,playy>d ,s*ool1 &   
ea* *ild w\ld be s taught t x c\ld take 
9 h& ! education ( its p>5ts :5 x 0     
sev5te54  ,my idea 0 to produce a       
g5]ation t w\ld be bett] ?an ! pres5t   
"o1 & ,i ?\ght t ,i c\ld successfully   
fight ! environm5t ( home4 ,i fail$4444 
,dickie has cut me4 ,! fight 0 unequal2 
! village won4 ,aft] all ,i _h ,dickie =
 two %ort ye>s1 & ! village has _h him =
 f\rte54 ,poor boy1 he has mu* good 9   
him1 mu* innate k9dl9ess4 ,b ! village  
is /upid & spiteful4 ,i am absolutely   
sure t ,dickie cut me because he want$  
to foll[ ! public op9ion ( ! village4   
,am ,i magnify+ a m]ely p]sonal matt]8  

,am ,i m]ely piqu$ because ,i 0 cut8 ,no
 "o likes to be cut2 x isn't a complim5t
 at any "t4 ,no1 ,i am n piqu$3 ,i am   
int5sely angry1 n at poor ,dickie1 b at 
! dirty environm5t t makes him a cad4   
,lucky is ! dom9ie :o tea*es bairns f   
good homes4 ,la/ summ] :5 ,i sp5t half a
 day 9 ! ,k+ ,alfr$ ,s*ool 9 ,hamp/ead  
,i envi$ ,john ,russell 8 pupils4 ,!y 7 
all *ildr5 ( p>5ts :o 7 intellectual    
en\gh to seek a free education = _!     
*ildr5 9 a l& :]e ! s*ools are b>racks4 
,if ,i only _h *ildr5 l ^!6 ,i said to  
him1 b a mom5t lat] ,i ?\ght ( my little
 s*ool up nor? & ,i said3 ,no6 ,m9e ne$ 
fre$om m ?an ^!4  ,! ,k+ ,alfr$ ,s*ool  
is a delightful place4 ,!re is          
co-education 444 a m>vell\s ?+ to an    
,engli%man1 b n noticeable by a ,scot :o
 has nev] kn[n any o!r k9d4 ,!re is no  
rew>d & no puni%m5t1 no m>ks1 no        
competition4 ,a *ild looks on ea* task z
 a "w ( art1 & 8 "o desire is to please 
himself r ?an please 8 tea*]4 ,! tone ( 
! s*ool is excell5t2 ! pupils are       

frankly critical & delightfully         
self-possess$4 ,& s9ce p>5ts *oose ?is  
s*ool volunt>ily ,i presume t !         
education we call home-life is ideal4   
,h[ easy x mu/ be = ,john ,russell6 ,if 
my ,dickie _h be5 go+ home ea* night to 
a fa!r & "m :o 7 z eag] = tru? & fre$om 
z ,i 01 ,i don't ?9k t ,dickie w\ld h   
cut me to-night4                        
99       99       99  ,dickie came up = 
8 milk to-night1 & ,i hail$ him z he w5t
 d[n ! brae4  ,"h1 ,dickie6 ,i call$1 :y
 h y giv5 up look+ at me8  ,he grew v   
r$1 & he /ood kick+ a /one ) 8 heel4  ,i
 don't want y to t\* y\r cap1 ,dickie1 b
 y might at lea/ say ,hullo to me 9 !   
pass+4 ,"s ( ! big lads :o left s*ool   
be=e ,i came look at me impud5tly1 & ,i 
"k t _! look means3 ',bah6 ,i've left ! 
s*ool & ,i don't c>e a button = y or any
 o!r dom9ie6' ,b1 ,dickie1 y "k me well2
 y nev] 7 afraid ( me1 & ,i "k t y don't
 ?9k me y\r enemy4 ,:y 9 all ! e>? %\ld 
y pret5d t y d8  ,i held out my h&4     
,dickie1 ,i said1 are y & ,i to be      

fri5ds or n8  ,he hesitat$ = a mom5t1 !n
 he took my h&4  ,fri5ds1 he said       
weakly1 & 8 eyes fill$ ) te>s4 ,!n ,i   
knew t ,i _h n be5 mi/ak5 9 ?9k+ t !re 0
 mu* good 9 ! boy4  ,hav+ made x up )   
,dickie ,i set (f ) a light he>t to     
att5d a meet+ ( ! ,gifts = ,local       
,soldi]s ,committee4 ,! *airman 0 abs5t 
& ,i 0 invit$ to take ! *air4 ,bill     
,watson br\ght =w>d a motion t !        
,committee %\ld get up a conc]t to      
provide funds4  ,mr4 ,watson's proposal 
is t we arrange a conc]t1 ,i said4 ,is  
!re any second]8  ,aweel1 said ,&rew    
,f9dlay1 ,aw ?9k t a conc]t wud be a    
v]ra guid ?+4 ,! ni*ts is beg9n9' to    
draw 91 & x wud be be/ to hae x z soon z
 possible4 ,! tatties w be on 9 twa ?ree
 days4  ,! proposal is second$4 ,any    
am5dm5t1 g5tlem58  ,man1 said ,pet]     
,mac,mannish ! cobbl]1 man1 ,aw 0 j     
look9' at ,lappi$ub's tatties ! ni*t4   
,man1 yon's a dawm$ guid crap4  ,!m t's 
9 ! wa/ field is bett]1 said ,&rew4  ,b 
! be/ crap o' :eat ,aw se5 ! ye>1 said  

,dauvid ,pet]s1 0 ,torrydyke's4  ,any   
am5dm5t1 g5tlem58  ,torrydyke ay has    
graund :eat1 said ,pet]4 ,d'ye m9d yon  
ye>--n9ety-sax 444 or 0 x               
n9ety-seev58--man1 !y tell me t he made 
a pile o' sill] t ye>4  ,n9ety-sax1     
gr[l$ ,william ,mack5zie ! f>m] (       
,brig5d1 x 0 n9ety-sax1 = ,aw m9d t my  
broon coo dee'd t summ]4  ,aw m9d o' h]1
 nodd$ ,&rew1 grass disease1 wasn't x8  
,aye1 said ,mack5zie4 ,aw s5t to ,lo*>s 
= ! vet b he 0 awa frae hame4 ,syne ,aw 
s5t a telegram to ! ,wann]s vet1 & :5 he
 cam he says to me1 says he--  ,any     
am5dm5t1 g5tlem58 ,i said4  ,goad1 lads1
 said ,&rew sitt+ up 9 8 *air1 we'll hae
 to get on wi' ! bus9ess4  ,no am5dm5t1 
,i said4 ,are we all agre$ ab\t ?is     
conc]t8 & !y grunt$ _! ass5t4  ,& n[    
we'll settle ! date1 ,i said briskly4   
,pet] ,mac,mannish look$ ov] at         
,mack5zie4  ,:5 are ye ?9k9' o' kill9' t
 black sw9e o' y\rs1 ,john8 he ask$4    
,mack5zie gr[l$ & %ook 8 head4  ,%e's no
 fatt59' up z ,aw cud wi% to see h]1    

,pet]1 he repli$4 ,!re foll[$ an animat$
 discussion ( ! m]its & dem]its ( v>i\s 
fe$+-/uffs4 ,aft] a two h\rs' sitt+ !   
,committee unanim\sly appo9t$ me        
secret>y & organis] ( ! conc]t4 ,i 0    
giv5 au?ority to fix a date & arrange a 
programme4  ,att5dance at _m democratic 
meet+s ( ?is k9d has l$ me to a complete
 und]/&+ ( ,p>liam5t4                   
99       99       99  ,x is ,sunday     
to-day4 ,i sat read+ 9 ! aft]noon & a   
knock came at my bo?y door4  ,come 96 ,i
 %\t$1 & ,annie walk$ 94  ,me & ,janet &
 ,ell5 are go+ = a walk ov] ! hill1 & we
 ?o*t y might l to come too4  ,c]ta9ly6 
,i cri$1 & ,i ?rew ,%aw's late/ volume (
 plays into ! b$4  ,m>g>et's wi' u too1 
said ,annie z if x 7 an aft]?\ght4  ,!re
 0 a fight = my arms4  ,annie 0 fir/1 ,i
 said1 & we'll toss up = ! o!r arm4     
,let ,m>g>et get x1 said ,janet         
mis*iev\sly1 & ,m>g>et's nose w5t almo/ 
imp]ceptibly high] 9 ! air4  ,excell5t6 
,i said1 & ,i took h] arm & plac$ x     
?r\gh m9e4 ,janet & ,ell5 walk$ beh9d1 &

 !y snigg]$ a good deal4  ,j fancy !    
me/] noo6 said ,janet1 l9kit wi'        
,maggie6 ,he'll hae to m>ry h] noo1     
,ell56 ,& poor ,m>g>et became v r$ &    
began to talk at a great rate4  ,g'wa1  
,jan1 ,i he>d ,ell5 say1 he's f> ow]    
auld4 ,maggie's only tw5ty next mon?1 & 
he's--he c\ld be h] fai!r4  ,he's no v  
auld1 ,ell52 he hasna a moota*e yet6    
,aw wudna l a man wi' a moota*e1 ,jan2  
,liz ,macque5 says t %e gave up ,jock   
,wilson cos 8 moota*e 0 ow] kittly4     
,weel1 %e 0 tell9' a big lee1 said      
,janet firmly4 ,if %e lov$ him %e wud   
ha' telt him to %ave x (f4  ,we lay d[n 
9 ! wood at ! top ( ! hill4 ,annie 0 9 a
 rem9isc5t mood4  ,d'ye m9d ! lett]s we 
us$ to write to "o ano!r8 %e ask$4  ,i  
pret5d$ t ,i _h =gott5 !m4  ,d ye no    
m9d8 ,"o day :5 ,i wasna att5d9' to !   
lesson ye wrote ',annie ,mill] is sack$'
 on a bit pap] & gave x to me8  ,ah1    
yes1 ,i rememb]1 ,annie1 n[ t y come to 
m5tion x4 ,b ,i c't rememb] y\r reply4  
,aw took ano!r bit o' pap]1 & ,aw wrote3

 ',mr4 ,neill is sack$ = n mak+ me      
att5d4'  ,yes1 y besom1 ,i rememb] n[4  
,i'll sack y6 & ,i roll$ h] ov] 9 !     
grass4  ,!re 0 ano!r lett]1 ,annie1 ,i  
said1 d y rememb] x8 & %e said ,no6 s   
quickly t ,i knew %e did rememb] x4  ,i 
turn$ to ,m>g>et4  ,annie came to s*ool 
"o day ) h] hair mo/ beautifully done 9 
r+lets1 ,i expla9$1 & ( c\rse ,i fell 9 
love ) h] at once4 ,i wrote h] a        
lett]4444 ',my ,de> ,annie1 d y ?9k     
y\rself bonny to-day8' & ! wee besom    
repli$3 ',no1 ,i don't6' ,!n ,i wrote h]
 aga94444 ',d y ev] tell lies8' & to ?is
 %e answ]$3 ',no1 nev]6' ,!n ,i calmly  
h&$ h] ! ,life ( ,george ,wa%+ton4  ,b  
,aw nev] read x6 %e cri$ ) a gay laugh4 
,i "k 444 & t's :y y h nev] re=m$1 my   
de> kid1 ,i said4  ,ell51 said ,janet1  
d'ye m9d t day :5 y & me got up & walk$ 
oot o' ! room8  ,:at day 0 t8 ,i ask$2 y
 two w5t out ( ! room s (t5 t ,i gave up
 try+ to see y4  ,x 0 ! day :5 a man cam
 to ! s*ule & /ood 9 ! room :5 ye 0     
tea*9' u4 ,!re 0 a new boy1 ! c>avan boy

 t _h nev] be5 to s*ule 9 8 life1 & ye  
said t he 0 bett] ?an any o' u4  ,s ,jan
 & me took ! tig1 said ,ell51 & we w5t  
oot & sat on ! dike4  ,janet hee-he$4   
,d'ye m9d :at we said1 ,ell58 ,we said  
we w]5a to g back to ! s*ule2 we 7 to g 
up to ,r9sley s*ule to ,me/] ,lawson4   
,aye1 said ,ell51 & we said we wudna gie
 ye ano!r sweetie 444 no1 nev]6  ,& ,i  
suppose y gave me sweeties next day8 ,i 
sugge/$4  ,we gave ye a :ole ha'p5ny    
wor? o' *ocolate c>amels1 said ,janet4  
,h] head re/$ on my knee & %e smil$ up 9
 my face4 ,ye 7 f> ow] easy wi' u1 %e   
said s]i\sly1 we nev] did half ! lessons
 ye gave u to d4  ,i "k1 ,jan1 b ,i     
didn't p>ticul>ly want y to d lessons2  
all ,i want$ 0 t y %\ld be ,janet ,br[n 
& no "o else4 ,i want$ y to be a good   
k9d lassie 444 & ( c\rse1 z y "k1 ,i    
fail$4 ,& %e pull$ my nose at ?is4  ,i  
didn't l ! s*ool :5 ,i 0 !re1 said      
,m>g>et2 ,i nev] 0 s glad 9 my life z :5
 ,i 0 f\rte54  ,poor ,m>g>et1 ,i said1  
y\r s*ool+ %\ld be ! pleasante/ memory (

 y\r life4 ,:at y le>n$ f books doesn't 
matt] at all2 :at matt]s is :at y 74 ,& 
x seems t memory w br+ to y a picture ( 
an unhappy ,m>g>et long+ to leave s*ool4
 ,:at a trag$y6  ,is be+ happy ! be/ ?+ 
9 life8 ask$ ,m>g>et4  ,n ! be/1 ,i     
answ]$2 ! be/ ?+ 9 life is mak+ o!r p   
happy 444 & t's :at ! books mean by     
's]vice4'                             99
       99       99  ,m>g>et came ov] to 
my bo?y to-night to ask if ,i w\ld help 
,nancy ) h] home lessons4  ,%e's cry+ l 
any?+1 said ,m>g>et4  ,i w5t ov] to !   
f>mh\se4 ,nancy sat at ! kit*5 table )  
h] books spread out be=e h]4 ,%e 0 wip+ 
h] eyes & look$ l beg9n+ to weep aga94  
,x's h] pott]y1 expla9$ ,frank1 %e canna
 get x up at all4  ,macdonald _h ord]$ !
 class to le>n ! fir/ six v]ses (       
,gray's ,elegy1 & ?reat5$ dire p5alties 
if ea* s*ol> wasn't ^w p]fect4  ,i'm    
afraid ,i c't help y mu*1 ,nancy1 ,i    
said4 ,y'll j h to set y\r tee? & get x 
up4 ,don't repeat x l9e by l9e2 read !  
six v]ses ov]1 !n read !m aga91 !n aga94

 ,read !m tw5ty times1 !n %ut ! book &  
imag9e ! page is be=e y1 & see h[ mu* ( 
! /uff y c say4 ,i us$ to f9d ?is me?od 
v effectual :5 ,i got up long           
recitations 9 my y\ng] days4  ,macdonald
 gives 8 high] classes long poems4 ,!y h
 le>n$ up pages ( ,m>mion & pages ( ,!  
,lady ( ! ,lake2 & n[ he is giv+ !m !   
long & difficult ,elegy4 ,i mu/ ask him 
"s day :at 8 idea is4 ,i made le>n+     
poetry optional :5 ,i 0 9 ! s*ool4 ,i   
es*ew$ all long poems1 & ,i nev] ask$ a 
*ild to /& up & say a piece4 ,my view 0 
t s*ool poetry %\ld be s*ool folk-song2 
,i us$ to write %ort pieces on ! bo>d & 
! classes recit$ !m 9 unison4 ,i gave no
 h9t ( expression1 = expression %\ld    
always be a natural ?+4 ,i h be5 timid (
 expression ev] s9ce ! day ,i he>d1 or r
 saw1 a y\? recite ,! ,dream ( ,eug5e   
,aram4 ,:5 he came to ! climax 444 ,&   
lo6 ! fai?less /ream 0 dry6 ,i sudd5ly  
discov]$ t ,i 0 dry too1 & ,i did n wait
 until ,eug5e 0 l$ away ) gyves ^u 8    
wri/s4 ,i once saw ,sir ,h5ry ,irv+ 9 ,!

 ,bells4 ,i 0 a s*oolboy at ! "t & ,i   
/raightway sp5t all my pocket money on  
books deal+ ) elocution2 ,i also w\ld   
te> my hair be=e ! footlights6 ,look+   
back n[ ,i wond] :y ,irv+ bo!r$ ) /uff (
 t sort2 :y 8 s5se ( hum\r all[$ him to 
grope ab\t ! /age = ! axe to kill !     
,poli% ,jew ,i don't und]/&4 ,all t     
melodramatic romantic bus9ess is simply 
!atrical gu%4 ,x appeals to ! classes t 
dev\r ! ,police ,news4  ,expression :5  
taught is gu%4 ,:5 ,i gave my bairns a  
bit ( ,! ,anci5t ,m>9] ! :ole cr[d      
bright5$ up & %\t$ :5 !y came to !      
v]se3--        ,i bit my arm1 ,i suck$ !
 blood          ,& cri$3 ,a sail6 ,a    
sail6   ,!y und]/ood t "p1 b !y put no  
special expression into ! /anza3--      
,all 9 a hot & copp] sky1        ,!     
bloody sun at noon      ,"r up above !  
ma/ did /&1        ,no bigg] ?an ! moon4
   ,! boys us$ to emphasise ! adjective 
9 ! second l9e1 b t 0 p]haps natural 9 a
 community :]e /rong language is !      
pr]ogative ( gr[n-ups4 ,i suppose t a   

tea*] ( expression w\ld h po9t$ out t ! 
"r arm mu/ be rais$ gracefully at ! ?ird
 l9e1 & ! voice l[]$ awfully to %[ !    
m>vell\s significance ( ! fact t !      
crudoric sun 0 no bigg] ?an ! moon4     
,all ,i tri$ to give my bairns 0 an     
appreciation ( rhy?m4 ,!y lov$ ! tro*aic
 rhy?m ( a poem1 ,m>% ,m>igolds1 by ,g4 
,f4 ,bradby1 t ,i discov]$ 9 a s*ool    
an?ology3--        ,slaty skies & a     
:i/l+ w9d & a grim grey l&1      ,april 
"h ) a sull5 m9d & a froz5 h&1          
,h>dly a bird ) ! he>t to s+1 or a bud t
 d>es to pry1      ,only ! plov]s hov]+1
      ,on ! lonely m>%1 ) a heavy w+    
,& a sad sl[ cry4   ,& x us$ to make me 
joyful to he> !m gallop ?r\gh ,/ev5son's
 delightful ,my ,%ip & ,i3--        ,oh6
 x's ,i t am ! capta9 ( a tidy little   
%ip1      ,( a %ip t goes a-sail+ on !  
pond1      ,& my %ip x keeps a-turn+ all
 ar\nd & all ab\t1      ,b :5 ,i'm a    
little old] ,i %all f9d ! secret out    
,h[ to s5d my vessel sail+ on beyond6   
,i nev] gave !m a poem t ne$$ any       

explanation4 ,i picture ,macdonald      
pa9fully expla9+ ! ,elegy4444 ,yes1     
*ildr51 ! phrase 'inc5se-brea?+ morn'   
means4444  ,i'm gravell$2 ,i hav5't !   
fa9te/ notion ( :at ! phrase means4     
,gray annoys me2 he is f> too p]fect =  
me4 ,i fancy t he rewrote ea* l9e ab\t a
 score ( times 9 8 mania = ! correct ^w4
 ,gray is ,milton ) a diction>y4  ,i    
once read t ,/ev5son /udi$ ! diction>y  
(t51 us$ to sp5d a ra9y day read+ ! ?+1 
& 8 prose does give me ! impression t he
 c>$ m = h[ he said a ?+ ?an = ! ?+     
itself4 ,i ?9k ,george ,d\glas a great] 
writ]2 inde$ ,i %\ld call him ! greate/ 
noveli/ ,scotl& has produc$4 ,8 /yle is 
inevitable2 8 :ole att5tion seems to be 
rivet$ on ! matt] ( 8 /ory1 & 8 arre/+  
phrases seem to come f him naturally &  
?\ghtlessly4 ,:5 y read ( ,g\rlay's     
agony 9 ,b>bie m>ket on ! day t 8 son's 
disgrace is kn[n to ev]yone1 y see !    
great hulk ( a man1 y he> 8 great brea?s
 444 y are "o ( ! villag]s :o peep at   
him fe>fully4 ,e ^w is inevitable2 !    

picture is p]fect4 ,i %\ld be surpris$  
if anyone told me t ,d\glas alt]$ a s+le
 ^w aft] he _h writt5 x4  ,:5 ,i want to
 feel humble ,i take up ,! ,h\se ) !    
,gre5 ,%utt]s4 ,i h read x a score (    
times1 & ,i hope to read x a score (    
times aga94     ,,vii4   ,m>g>et look$  
up f ! novelette %e 0 read+4  ,are !    
ari/ocracy really l :at !y are 9 ?is    
/ory8 %e ask$4  ,i don't "k1 ,i repli$2 
,i'm n acqua9t$ ) ! ari/ocracy1 b ,i    
%\ld say t !y ar5't l ! ari/ocracy 9 t  
y>n4 ,y see1 ,m>g>et1 ,i happ5 to "k "s 
( ! m5 :o write ^! novelettes4 ,murray  
is a don at !m2 he'll turn "o out betwe5
 breakfa/ & d9n]4 ,to ! be/ ( my k      
,murray has nev] d9$ 9 any re/aurant m  
exp5sive ?an an ,a4,b4,c4 %op 444 & 8   
*>act]s always d9e at ! ,ritz4  ,b h y  
nev] met anybody ) a title8  ,i once    
collid$ ) a man at ! ,briti% ,museum    
door1 ,i said4 ,he 0 a ,scot4444 ,i "k t
 because nei!r ( u apologis$2 we m]ely  
j]k$ out ',oh6' ,i am almo/ sure t ! man
 0 ,sir ,j4 ,m4 ,b>rie4 ,& ,i %ook h&s )

 two dukes & ?ree lords at a univ]sity  
d9n]1 b !y possibly h =gott5 ! incid5t4 
,no4 ,i don't "k ! ari/ocracy well4  ,i 
met a titl$ lady la/ summ]4 ,i 0 /ay+ at
 a c\ntry h\se ne> ,london1 & ?is lady  
_h ! neighb\r+ h\se4 ,%e came ov] on !  
,sunday aft]noon4 ,my ho/ in=m$ me t %e 
_h lo/ two sons 9 ! w>4 ,aft] %e _h gone
 ,i 0 ask$ :at ,i ?\ght ( ! ,engli%     
ari/ocracy1 & ,i gave my op9ion 9 ^!    
words3--,to ! ,engli% ari/ocracy prop]ty
 alone is sacr$4 ,t woman has giv5 !    
lives ( h] two sons will+ly = h] c\ntry1
 b if %e 7 ask$ to give half an acre (  
h] e/ate to help pay = ! w> %e w\ld g   
mad ) rage & disgu/4  ,:5 ,i he>d t lady
 grumble ab\t ! wick$ness ( !           
munition-work]s4444 ,&1 my de>1 wom5 9  
%awls are buy+ pianos & seal-sk9        
jackets6 444 ,i realis$ h[ hopeless 0 ! 
cry ( ,! ,new ,age = ! ,conscription (  
,weal?4 ,! p[]ful classes w resi/       
,conscription ( ,weal? z /r5u\sly z !y  
resi/ ! ,g]mans4 ,yet ! ,conscription ( 
,m5 0 9 v _m cases a ,conscription (    

,weal?4 ,"o _h only to read ! ,tribunal 
cases to discov] t ?\s&s ( m5 _h to     
deliv] up all _! weal? :5 !y jo9$ !     
army4 ,!re 0 ,wrangl] ! actor2 8 prop]ty
 0 8 tal5t to portray "*1 & f t he drew 
8 income4 ,8 prop]ty 0 conscript$ along 
) him4 ,x 0 fitt+ t he %\ld give up all 
:5 ! ,/ate requir$ him to give x up4 ,b 
! ,/ate requires all ! weal? ( ! money$ 
classes1 & because economic p[] controls
 political p[] ! ,/ate w n conscript !  
weal? ( its real gov]nors4  ,i see n[ t 
our education is f\nd$ on ! unpleasant  
fact t prop]ty is m sacr$ ?an life4     
,tea*]s are enc\rag$ to make _! pupils  
patriotic2 e boy mu/ be br\ght up 9 !   
belief t x is great & glori\s to die =  
"o's c\ntry4 ,a real patriotism w\ld    
lead a boy to realise t x is a great &  
glori\s ?+ to live = "o's c\ntry2 ! true
 patriot w\ld tea* 8 lads to make _!    
c\ntry a great & glori\s c\ntry to die  
=4 ,someh[ our s*ools = ! mo/ "p ignore 
?is bran* ( patriotism2 x does n seem s 
important z ! flag-wav+ & /&+ to        

att5tion t passes = patriotism4         
,macdonald is decorat+ ! walls ( ! s*ool
 ) col\r$ pr9ts ( our w>%ips4 ,to make  
!m realise h[ mu* ! navy means to !m1 he
 expla9$ to me z ,i look$ at !m4        
,excell5t6 ,i said4 ,! navy des]ves all 
! respect we c give x4 ,b1 ,macdonald1 9
 y\r position ,i %\ld give a fur!r      
lesson on patriotism2 ,i %\ld po9t out  
to ^! bairns t :ile ! glori\s navy is   
def5d+ our %ores f a =eign enemy ! enemy
 )9 is plund]+ ! nation4 ,i %\ld tell !m
 t "u ! protection ( ! navy ! pr(ite]s  
are rais+ ! prices ( necess>ies h& ov]  
fi/4 ,all ! patriotic flag-wav+ 9 ! _w  
won't help ^! bairns to und]/& t !      
patriotism ( ! masses is be+ exploit$ by
 ! self-seek+ ( ! dirty few4            
,patriotism6 ,we h popul> weeklies t    
endeav\r to make ! p patriotic4 ,!y la% 
!mselves into a fury ov] mom5t\s        
que/ions3 ,! ,i* ,di5 on ! cre/ ( !     
,pr9ce ( ,wales ,mu/ ,g2 ,! ,duke (     
,s-&-,s mu/ h 8 ,g>t] tak5 f him2 ,:o 0 
! ,spy :o s5t ,kit*5] to 8 doom8  ,!    

only way to enc\rage *ildr5 to be       
patriotic is to tell !m ! sob] tru? ab\t
 ! important ?+s ( life4 ,! inv5tion ( !
 ^w %irk] manag$ to effect t ! mo/ timid
 ( m5 %\ld fight = 8 c\ntry2 public     
op9ion w always look aft] ! patriotism  
necess>y = w>4 ,b my compla9t is t      
public op9ion w n look aft] ! patriotism
 necess>y = peace4 ,if we 7 all true    
patriots !re w\ld be no slums1 no       
exploitation1 no pr(ite]+4 ,& !         
patriotic lesson 9 s*ool %\ld deal )    
economics in/ead ( j+o ballads (        
victories won4                          
99       99       99  ,i cycl$ twelve   
miles to-night1 & ,i rais$ a com=table  
?ir/4 ,:5 ,i came to ! village ,i dropp$
 into ! ,glamis ,arms & _h a bottle (   
lag]4 ,z ,i came out ,i ran into        
,macdonald4  ,lucky fell[6 he laugh$1 y 
h no position to ma9ta9 n[ & y c af=d to
 qu5* a ?ir/6  ,position be bl[$6 ,i    
said1 ,i dr9k :5 ,i'm dry1 & ,i always  
did4 ,:5 ,i 0 dom9ie "h ,i dropp$ 9 "h m
 ?an once 9 ! hot wea!r4  ,& !y sack$ y6

  ,n because ( t1 ,i said1 b 9 spite (  
x4 ,believe me x 0 ! "o ?+ t made "o or 
two villag]s m amiable to me4  ,!       
,scot's attitude to ! public-h\se is    
ent]ta9+4 ,if y h any position to keep  
up y mu/ n ent] a public-h\se 444 y mu/ 
get x 9 by ! doz54 ,:5 ,i fir/ w5t to   
,london & ent]$ a saloon b> 9 ! ,/r& ,i 
0 amaz$ to f9d wom5 sitt+ ) _! husb&s2  
,i 0 also amaz$ to f9d no drunks ab\t4  
,9 a ,scots b> ! mo/ app>5t ph5om5on is 
wrangl+4 ,i nev] he>d an argum5t 9 a    
,london b>1 & ,i h be5 9 _m3 ,i nev] saw
 a drunk man 9 ,london1 & ,i 0 !re = two
 ye>s4  ,! public-h\se 9 ,scotl& is n   
respectable3 9 ,engl& x is4 ,:y ?is %\ld
 be ,i c only guess4 ,! ,scot may be a  
bigg] hypocrite ?an ! ,engli%man2 :at is
 m probable is t he may be a h>d] dr9k]4
 ,9 ,scotl& ent]+ a public-h\se is      
synonym\s ) gett+ drunk4 ,yet !re are   
:at y might call alcoholic gradations4  
,a respectable f>m] may ent] a b> )\t   
comm5t1 b a tea*] mu/ n ent] x4 ,he is !
 guide ( ! "y1 & he mu/ be an example4  

,tea*]s seldom ent] village b>s 444 &   
yet ,scotl& is notori\s = dr9k+4 ,if !  
tea*]s det]m9$ to become regul> b>      
cu/om]s ,i conclude t ,scotl& w\ld dr9k 
h]self (f ! face ( ! map4  ,i h a !ory t
 ! ,calv9i/ic attitude to ! public-h\se 
is ! *ief cause ( ,scots drunk5ness4 ,:5
 a ,scot ent]s a b> he kn[s t he won't h
 ! c\rage to be se5 com+ out aga9 444 & 
he v naturally says to himself3 ,a*1 to 
hell6 ,aw'll hae ano!r j to =tify mysel'
 = gae9' oot6 ,! public-h\se isn't a    
public-h\se at all2 x is ! mo/ private (
 h\ses4 ,pet] ,s\t> ! lead+ eld] 9 !    
kirk "h always c>ries a bundle ( *ur*   
magaz9es 9 8 h& :5 he ent]s ! ,glamis   
,arms2 :5 ! date is pa/ magaz9e "t he   
ent]s by ! back door4 ,jeemes ,walk] !  
lead+ ,free ,kirk eld] goes 9 to read ! 
gospel to old ,mrs4 ,melville ! invalid 
"m ( ! l&lord1 & ! village is un*>itable
 en\gh to rem>k 9 8 he>+ t he really    
goes to int]view 8 bro!r ,johnny4 ,i ?9k
 t x 0 ! doctor :o orig9at$ t joke4  ,a 
public-h\se is no place = a public man 9

 ,scotl&4                             99
       99       99  ,! op5+ ( ! coal    
m9es has br\ght to ! neighb\rhood a new 
type ( p]son4 ,he is usually an eng9e]  
:o has sp5t a good few ye>s abroad1 & he
 is usually m>ri$ 444 v mu* m>ri$4 ,8   
wife is always a grade above ! wife ( ! 
eng9e] next door1 & ! m5 appe> to sp5d  
mo/ ( _! leisure "t 9 m5d+ qu>rels t _! 
wives began4 ,mo/ ( ! m5 are amiable    
fell[s ) ! m9imum ( ideas & ! maximum ( 
k ( fi%+ & c>d-play+4 ,!y h a c]ta9     
dignity1 & !y in/antly freeze if y      
casually ask :]e su*-&-su* a light      
railway is to run4  ,! wives seem to h  
no int]e/ o!r ?an 9 s]vants & _!        
manifold wick$ness & cuss$ness4 ,!y hold
 _! noses high :5 !y pass ?r\gh !       
village1 & !y bully ! local %opkeep]s4  
,:5 ,i 0 a dom9ie ^! wom5 patronis$ me  
delightfully1 b n[ t ,i am a cattleman  
!y are q frank ) me4 ,i puzzl$ ov] ?is =
 "s "t1 & ! solution came to me sudd5ly4
 ,!y are all ,engli% wom51 & 9 ! ,engli%
 village ! dom9ie is on v mu* ! same    

social level z ! vic>'s g>d5]4  ,mrs4   
,m>t9lake likes to *at to me n[4 ,%e is 
a middle-ag$ lady :o loves to rem9isce  
ab\t du*esses %e has kn[n4 ,%e once     
compla9$ to me because ! boys did n t\* 
_! caps to h]1 & on my sugge/+ t !y     
hadn't be5 introduc$ %e became v        
indignant4 ,%e call$ to me ?is morn+ z  
%e pass$ ! field ,i 0 work+ 94  ,ah6    
,good morn+6 ,i've be5 look+ = y = a    
long "t4 ,i want$ to tell y h[ mu* !    
*ildr5 h improv$2 e village boy t\*es 8 
cap to me n[6 & %e laugh$ gaily4  ,good6
 ,i cri$4 ,if ?is sort ( ?+ goes on !y w
 be t\*+ _! caps to _! mo!rs next4  ,&  
:y n8 %e dem&$ ) a slight t\* (         
aggression4  ,i %rugg$ my %\ld]s4  ,z y 
say--:y n8 ,i ?9k t y ought to p]suade  
y\r little boy to t\* 8 cap to all !    
mo!rs 9 ! village4 ,i notice t he       
doesn't d x4 ,y take my tip & s5d him   
d[n to ,macdonald's s*ool2 he'll soon   
pick x up4  ,%e w5t (f )\t a ^w1 & ,i   
realis$ t ,i _h be5 di/9ctly rude to h]4
 ,someh[ ,i felt glad t ,i _h be5 rude  

to h]4  ,i told ,m>g>et ab\t ! incid5t  
aft]w>ds4  ,i hate mann]s1 ,m>g>et1 ,i  
said4  ,b1 %e said wond]+ly1 y are v    
mann]ly4  ,to y ,i believe ,i am1       
,m>g>et1 ,i laugh$4 ,b t is because y   
don't look = mann]s4 ,mrs4 ,m>t9lake is 
et]nally look+ = mann]s1 & to h] mann]s 
mean respect1 def]5ce1 boot-lick+4 ,%e  
doesn't want ! boys to d(f _! caps to h]
 because %e is a woman2 no1 %e wants !m 
to recognise ! fact t %e is ,mrs4       
,m>t9lake1 self-alleg$ fri5d ( du*esses4
 ,%e doesn't c>e a tup5ny damn = ! boys 
& _! lives2 %e is ?9k+ ( ,mrs4 ,m>t9lake
 all ! "t4 ,%e once talk$ to me ( !     
respect due to mo!rhood 444 & y "k t %e 
sack$ ,liz ,smi? :5 %e discov]$ t ,liz  
_h _h an illegitimate *ild4  ,wom5 ( t  
type get my back up1 ,i w5t on4 ,!y are 
/upid1 l[-m9d$1 arrogant4 ,!y are poor  
imitations ( ! ,p>isian ladies :o curl$ 
_! lips contemptu\sly at ! plebeian     
rabble t l$ !m to ! guillot9e4 ,!       
,p>isian ladies _h a f9e pride ( race to
 r$eem _! arrogance1 b ^! wom5 h no?+ b 

pride ( class4 ,m>g>et1 if a tea*] fail$
 to tea* a boy any?+ except ! tru? t    
def]5ce is "o ( ! ,sev5 ,deadly         
,virtues1 ,i %\ld say t t tea*] 0 a     
successful tea*]4                       
99       99       99  ,! conc]t 0 a     
success to-night4 ,! s++ 0 good1 b !    
spee* ( ! *airman1 ,pet] ,mac,mannish1 0
 great4  ,ladies & ,g5tlem51  ,we're a' 
v]ra weel pleas$ to see sik a big       
turn-oot ! ni*t4 ,aw ne$ h>dly say ony?+
 aboot ! object o' ?is conc]t1 b x's to 
get a puckle bawbees to s5d oot a clean 
pair o' socks & maybe a clean s>k to oor
 local soj]s oot 9 ,france4--7,*e]s74   
,weel1 ladies & g5tlem51 ,aw've made    
mony a spee* on ?is plat=m 9 ! days :5  
,aw f\ght = ! ,cons]vative ,c&idate1    
,me/] ,flet*] 7*e]s1 & a voice3 ',gie x 
a dr9k1 cobbl]6'7  ,! light ( battle    
leapt to ,pet]'s eyes4  ,aw k5 t :eez9' 
,radical's voice6 he cri$1 & ,aw wud j l
 to tell t voice t !re's no room =      
,radicals 9 ?is w>4 ,:at 0 ! attitude o'
 t man's p>ty to ,protection8 ,:5 ,me/] 

,*amb]la9 /ood up 9 ,glesga ,toon ,hall 
:at did he say8 ,i g5tly t\*$ ,pet] on !
 arm & rem9d$ him ( ! conc]t & its      
object4  ,ladies & ,g5tlem51 we'll no   
t\* on ?ae topics "h1 = ye cam "h =     
ano!r object ?an to li/5 to me 7sev]al  
voices3 ',he>1 he>6'7 ,a=e we beg9 to ! 
programme ,aw wud j l to say t we h to  
?ank oor late dom9ie = gett9' up ?is    
conc]t4 ,"s o' u _h no love = him z a   
dom9ie1 b ,aw say let bygones be        
bygones4 ,we a' k5 t he's no a tea*]    
7laught]71 b he's a clev] fell[ = a' t1 
& we'll maybe see him 9 ,p>liam5t yet4  
,t hoose has muckle ne$ o' new blood4   
,:5 ,aw ?9k o' ,lloyd ,george & t man   
,*ur*ill2 :5 ,aw see ! condeetion !y've 
bro*t ! c\ntry till2 :5 ,aw ?9k o' !    
slack wye !y've let ! ,trade ,unions rob
 ! c\ntry2 :5 ,aw see-- ,i c\gh$ "h1 &  
,pet] drew up4  ,weel1 ,ladies &        
,g5tlem51 ?is is no a poleetical meet9'1
 & ,aw've muckle pleasure 9 call9' ^u   
,miss ,jean ,black = a sang1 he pe]$ at 
8 programme1 a sang enteel$3 ,a         

,moonlight ,sonnita4 ,miss ,jean ,black 
=?) sat d[n at ! piano4  ,dur+ ! int]val
 ,pet] digg$ me 9 ! ribs4  ,:at d'ye ?9k
 o' my sugge/ion1 dom9ie1 eh8  ,:at     
sugge/ion8  ,aboot /&9' = ,p>liam5t4    
,x's a pay9' game noo-a-days 444 f[]    
hunn] a ye> & y] tea :5 ! hoose is      
sitt9'4 ,goad1 dom9ie1 ?9k o' sitt9'    
takk9' y] tea wi' ,air?ur ,balfoor6 & he
 sigh$ wi/fully z a *ild sighs :5 x     
dreams ( fairyl& & wakes to reality4    
,aye1 he said aft] a long pause1 ,aw    
wance %ook h&s wi' ,joe ,*amb]la94 ,8   
laww>e says to him3 ',?is is ,me/]      
,mac,mannish1 wan o' y] *ief support]s 9
 ! c\nty1' & ,aw j taks my h& oot o' my 
breek poo*4 ',v]ra pleas$ to meet ye1'  
says ,aw 444 '& hoo is y] missis & !    
bairns8' ,man1 he lau*$ at t4 ,goad he  
lau*$6  ,pet] =got ! cr[d$ hall2 he />$ 
at ! ceil+ unsee+ly1 & he liv$ ov] aga9 
! greate/ day ( 8 life4 ,x 0 fitt+ t a  
,scot %\ld h orig9at$ ! title ,h]oes &  
,h]o-,wor%ip4     ,,viii4   ,macdonald  
came up to-night4 ,i hadn't se5 him =   

weeks4  ,i am mak+ out a s*eme ( "w = ! 
,ev5+ ,s*ool1 he said4 ,:at l9e did y   
take8  ,my s*eme 0 simple1 ,i repli$1 & 
luckily ,i _h an inspector :o appreciat$
 :at ,i 0 try+ to d4 ,i made ! hi/ory   
lessons lessons 9 elem5t>y political    
economy4 ,ari?metic & ,algebra 7 ! usual
 ?+4  ,:at ab\t ,read+ & ,gramm>8 he    
ask$4  ,we read ,david ,copp]field1 & ,i
 meant to read a play ( ,%akespe>e &    
,ibs5's ,an ,enemy ( ! ,p1 b ,i nev]    
f\nd "t = !m4 ,! class became a sort (  
debat+ society4 ,i gave out subjects4   
,we discuss$ ,votes = ,wom51 ,%\ld ,wom5
 ,smoke8 ,is ,money ! ,rew>d ( ,ability8
 ,i told !m ab\t ! !ory ( evolution2 ,i 
began to trace ! hi/ory ( mank9d1 or r  
tri$ to make out a likely hi/ory1 b at !
 end ( ! session we hadn't arriv$ at !  
dawn ( writt5 hi/ory4  ,did y f9d any   
pupil improv+8  ,macdonald1 y are a     
demon = tangible results4 ,! only       
tangible result ( my h]esies ,i c ?9k ( 
is ! fact t ,m>g>et ,?omson smokes my   
cig>ettes n[4  ,h a look at ?is s*eme1  

he said1 & he h&$ me a l5g?y manuscript4
 ,! ari?metic 0 a detail$ li/ (         
utilit>ian sums 444 h[ to measure ricks 
( hay & fields1 h[ to calculate ! price 
( pap]+ walls & s on4 ,my own attitude  
to utilit>ian sums is ?is3 if y "k !    
pr9ciples ( pure ma!matics all ^! ?+s   
come easily to y1 h5ce tea* pure        
ma!matics & let ! utilit>ian "p take c>e
 ( itself4  ,8 ,engli% "p dealt m9utely 
) gramm>2 he 0 to give mu* p>s+ &       
analysis2 comp\nd s5t5ces 7 to be brok5 
up into _! compon5t p>ts4  ,9 ,hi/ory he
 0 to d ! ,/u>t ,p]iod1 & ,geography 0  
to cov] ! :ole _w special att5tion be+  
paid to ! agricultural produce ( !      
,briti% ,colonies4  ,x is a 'correct'   
s*eme1 ,i said4  ,give me y\r c&id      
op9ion ( x4  ,well1 ,macdonald1 y\r ways
 are n my ways1 & c&idly ,i w\ldn't tea*
 q a lot ( ! /uff y mean to tea*4       
,gramm> = in/ance4 ,:at's ! use ( kn[+ !
 p>ts ( a s5t5ce8 ,i don't suppose t    
,%akespe>e knew !m4 ,if education is    
meant to make p ?9k1 y\r ,ev5+ ,s*ool   

w\ld be mu* bett] employ$ read+ books4  
,if y read a lot y\r gramm> takes c>e ( 
itself4  ,! ,/u>t ,p]iod is all "r if y 
don't emphasise ! importance ( battles &
 plots4 ,i hav5't ! fa9te/ notion :e!r  
,cromwell won ! battle ( ,m>/on ,moor or
 lo/ x1 b ,i h a fair idea ( :at !      
con/itutional battle meant to ,engl&4 ,!
 political w> 0 ov] be=e ! fir/ %ot 0   
fir$2 ! ,civil ,w> 0 a religi\s w>4 ,if 
,i 7 y ,i %\ld take ! broad pr9ciples ( 
! :ole ?+ & skip all ! battles & plots &
 executions4  ,z = ! ,briti% ,colonies &
 _! agriculture y c turn emigration     
(fic] if y fancy ! job4 ,! idea is good 
en\gh4 ,my own p]sonal pr$ilection 9    
geography is ! problem ( race4 ,i us$ to
 tell my pupils ab\t ! diff]5t 'nigg]s' 
,i met at ! univ]sity1 & ( ! dete/able  
attitude ( ! colonials to ^! m54        
,macdonald %ook 8 head4  ,no1 no1 he    
said1 a black man isn't z good z a :ite 
man4  ,s we w5t (f at a tang5t4 ,i told 
him t p]sonally ,i _h n en\gh k ( black 
m5 to lay d[n ! law ab\t !m1 b ,i h&$   

him a v sugge/ive article 9 ?is week's  
,new ,age on ! subject4 ,! writ]'s !ory 
is t 9 ,india black m5 are o/racis$     
m]ely because !y are a subject race1 &  
he po9ts out t 9 ,g]many & ,france !    
col\r$ man is treat$ z an equal4 ,:5 ,i 
0 told by a fri5d t ! natives ( ,india  
despis$ ,keir ,h>die because he c>ri$ 8 
own bag (f ! vessel :5 he arriv$ 9      
,india ,i realis$ t ! col\r "q 0 too    
complicat$ = me to settle4 ,i h a sneak+
 suspicion t ! col\r$ man is malign$2 ! 
av]age ,anglo-,indian is s /upid 9 8    
attitude to mo/ ?+s t ,i c sc>cely      
suspect him ( be+ wise 9 8 attitude to !
 native4 ,i regret v mu* t ,i _h n !    
moral c\rage to *um up ) ! col\r$ man at
 ! univ]sity3 prejudices leave "o aft]  
"o has left ! univ]sity4  ,i wi% ,i knew
 :at ,mod]n ,geography means4 ,a few    
ye>s ago ! geography lesson 0 plac$ 9 ! 
h&s ( ! sci5ce tea*] 9 our high] grade  
s*ools1 & ! educational pap]s comm5c$ to
 talk ( iso!rms4 ,i h nev] discov]$ :at 
an iso!rm is2 ,i came v ne> to discov]+ 

once2 ,i ask$ ,dickson1 a man ( sci5ce1 
:at !y 71 b a girl smil$ to me be=e he  
got well into ! subject 7we 7 9 a caf71 
& ,i nev] discov]$ :at an iso!rm 04  ,! 
old-fa%ion$ geography wasn't a bad ?+ 9 
its way4 ,y got to "k :]e places 71 &   
y\r newspap] became intelligible4 ,x is 
true t y wa/$ _m an h\r memoris+ /uff t 
0 ( no great importance4 ,i recollect   
le>n+ t ,hexham 0 not$ = hats & gloves4 
,i /opp$ !re once :5 ,i 0 motor-cycl+4  
,i ask$ an ag$ inhabitant :at 8 t[n 0   
not$ =4  ,:5 ,i coom to ?9k ( x1 he said
 z he scrat*$ 8 head1 ! ,nor? ,ea/]n    
,railway passes ?r\gh x4  ,b ! old      
geography famili>is$ y ) ! look ( ! map4
 ,:]e x fail$ 0 9 ! appeal to !         
imag9ation4 ,y le>n$ a lot ( facts b y  
nev] ask$ :y4 ,i %\ld imag9e t ! new    
geography may deal ) reasons :y2 x may  
enquire into racial diff]5ces2 x may ask
 :y ,london is situat$ :]e x is1 :y ,new
 ,york grew s big4  ,= weeks be=e ,i    
left my s*ool my geography lesson       
consi/$ ( read+s f ,fo/] ,fras]'s ,!    

,real ,sib]ia4 ,i began to feel at home 
9 ,sib]ia1 & :at _h be5 a l>ge ugly *unk
 ( p9k on ! map ( ,asia became a real   
place4 ,!re is a sc>city ( books ( ?is  
k9d4 ,e s*ool %\ld h a book on e c\ntry 
writt5 9 ,fras]'s mann]4 ,i don't say t 
,fras] sees v deeply into ! life ( !    
,russian4 ,i am q cont5t ) 8 delightful 
/ories ( wayside /ations & dirty        
peasants4 ,he pa9ts ! place z x is2 if  
,i want to "k :at ! philosophy ( !      
,russian is ,i c take up ,tol/oy or     
,do/oeivsky or ,maxim ,gorki4  ,to      
return to iso!rms 444 well1 no1 ,i ?9k  
,i'll get to b$ in/ead4                 
99       99       99  ,i 0 d[n 9 !      
village ?is morn+4 ,a motor-c> came up1 
& two ladies & a g5tleman alight$4  ,:]e
 is ! village s*ool8 ask$ ! g5tleman1 & 
,i po9t$ to ! ugly pile4  ,we are       
,am]icans1 he drawl$ 9 unrequir$        
explanation1 & we've come all ! way f   
,le$s to see ! great exp]im5t4  ,yes1   
said "o ( ! ladies--! pretty "o--we are 
dy+ to see ! p>adise ( ,a ,dom9ie's     

,log4 ,is x s v wond]ful8  ,m>vell\s6 ,i
 cri$4 ,b ! ,dom9ie is a funny sort (   
*ap1 s5sitive & v %y4 ,y mu/n't give him
 a h9t t y "k any?+ ab\t 8 book2 simply 
say t y want to see a ,scots s*ool at   
"w4  ,!y ?ank$ me1 & set (f = ! s*ool4  
,i loaf$ ab\t until !y return$4  ,well8 
,i said1 :at d y ?9k ( x8  ,! fell[ is  
an impo/or6 said ! man indignantly4 ,i  
expect$ to see !m all out ( doors *ew+  
gum & sweets1 &--  ,!re wasn't a *9 mov+
 9 ! :ole cr[d6 cri$ ! "y lady4  ,! book
 0 a p>cel ( lies1 said ! o!r lady1 & :5
 ,i next want a doll>'s wor? ( fiction  
,i reckon ,i'll plump = ,hall ,ca9e or  
,rob]t ,*amb]s4 ,! man w\ldn't speak4   
,i m5tion$ ,dewey's ,s*ools ( ,to-,day1 
said ! man1 & he />$ at me z if ,i 7    
talk+ ,greek4  ,i direct$ !m to !       
village inn = lun*1 & ,i walk$ up ! brae
 *uckl+4  ,i _h _h my d9n]1 & 0 hav+ a  
smoke 9 ! bo?y :5 ,i he>d ! ,am]ican's  
voice3 ,we want to see ! dom9ie6 ,m>g>et
 came to ! door1 & ,i walk$ out into !  
y>d4 ,! trio gasp$ :5 !y saw me2 !n !   

man plac$ 8 arms akimbo & look$ at me4  
,well ,i'm damn$6 he said ) vehem5ce4   
,n s bad z t1 ,i said ) a gr91 _h is a  
bett] ^w4 ,!n !y all began to talk at   
once4  ,he expla9$ t he 0 a lawy] f     
,baltimore3 ,i told him t 8 conc]n ab\t 
! abs5ce ( *ew+-gum _h l$ me to         
conjecture t he manufactur$ t sub/ance4 
,?is seem$ to tickle him & he made a    
note ( x4  ,be c>eful6 smil$ ! pretty   
lady--8 daught]--1 he'll h& ov] 8 notes 
to ! newspap] man :5 he goes back home4 
,! lawy] knew some?+ ab\t education1 &  
he told me _m ?+s ab\t ! new education (
 ,am]ica2 he 0 "o ( ! directors ( a     
mod]n s*ool 9 8 own c\nty4  ,come ov] to
 ! ,/ates1 he said ) eag]ness2 we want  
m5 ( y\r ideas ov] !re4 ,i reckon t y & 
! new s*ools !re don't diff] at all4  ,i
 gave him my impressions ( ! ,am]ican   
s*ools describ$ by ,dewey 9 8 book4  ,x 
seems to me1 ,i said1 t ^! s*ools       
ov]-emphasise ! 'le>n by do+' bus9ess4  
,almo/ e mod]n re=m] 9 education talks (
 '*ild processes'2 ! k9d]g>t5 idea is   

c>ri$ all ! way4 ,*ildr5 are enc\rag$ to
 %ape ?+s ) _! h&s4  ,sure1 he said1 b  
t's only a prelim9>y to %ap+ ?+s ) _!   
heads4  ,i'm n s sure t ! "o naturally  
leads to ! o!r1 ,i w5t on4 ,le>n+ by do+
 is a f9e ?+1 b :5 little ,willie asks  
:y rabbits h :ite tails ! le>n+ by do+  
bus9ess breaks d[n4 ,9 ,am]ica y h      
work%ops :]e boys m\ld metal2 y h s*ool 
f>ms4 ,b ,i hold t a *ild c h all t =   
ye>s & yet be badly educat$4  ,he look$ 
amaz$4  ,b ,i ?\ght t 0 y\r l9e1 he said
 ) puzzl$ expression1 ,montessori1 & all
 t k9d ( ?+6  ,i don't "k :at           
,montessorianism is1 ,i said2 ,i h      
=gott5 ev]y?+ ,i ev] read ab\t ,froebel 
& ,pe/alozzi4 ,all ,i "k is t re=m]s    
want ! *ild to foll[ its own            
processes--:atev] t phrase may mean4 ,i 
he>tily agree ) !m :5 !y say t ! *ild   
%\ld *oose its own l9e1 & %\ld discov] k
 = itself4 ,b my po9t is t a boy may act
 e incid5t 9 hi/ory1 = in/ance1 & nev]  
realise :at hi/ory means4 ,i c't see !  
educational value ( *ildr5 act+ !       

incid5t ( ,alfr$ & ! burnt cakes4  ,ah6 
b isn't self-expression a great ?+8  ,x 
is1 ,i answ]$1 b ! actor doesn't express
 himself4 ,irv+ express$ himself 444 & !
 result 0 t ,%akespe>e 0 ,irv+is$4 ,a   
s*ool pageant ( ! accession ( ,h5ry     
,,iv4 may be a f9e spectacle1 b x is    
emphasis+ all ! /uff t doesn't matt] a  
damn 9 hi/ory4  ,b1 he prote/$1 x is !  
/uff t matt]s to *ildr54 ,y =get t a    
*ild isn't a little adult4  ,?is br+s u 
to ! vex$ "q ( ! com+ 9 ( ! adult1 ,i   
said4 ,y & ,i agree t ! adult %\ld      
int]f]e z little z possible2 b ! adult w
 come 9 9 spite ( u4 ,leave *ildr5 to   
!mselves & !y express _! p]sonalities ! 
livelong day4 ,e game is an expression (
 individuality4 ,! adult /eps 9 & says  
',we mu/ guide ^! *ildr51' & he takes _!
 att5tion f play+ h\ses to play+ sc5es f
 hi/ory4 ,& ,i want to "k ! educational 
value ( x all4  ,x is l travel1 he said4
 ,:5 y travel places become real to y1 &
 :5 y travel back into m$ival times !   
:ole ?+ becomes real to y4  ,i see y\r  

po9t1 ,i said1 & 9 a mann] ,i agree ) y4
 ,b :y select pageants8 ,y w agree ) me 
:5 ,i say t ! condition ( ! p 9 feudal  
times is ( f> great] importance ?an !   
display ( a ,h5ry4  ,c]ta9ly1 ,i d4  ,& 
! ?+s ( real importance 9 hi/ory are    
incapable ( be+ dramatis$4 ,y c make a  
mod]n s*ool act ! ,sign+ ( ,magna ,*>ta1
 b ! *ildr5 won't und]/& ! mean+ (      
,magna ,*>ta any ! bett]4 ,y c't        
dramatise ! ,enclosure ( ! ,public ,l&s 
9 ,tudor ,times2 y c't dramatise ! ,john
 ,ball insurrection2 all ! act+ 9 ! _w  
won't help y to und]/& ! ,puritan       
,revolution4  ,y are ?9k+ ( *ildr5 z    
little adults1 he said4  ,b !y are      
little adults6 ,e game is an imitation (
 adult processes2 ! r+ games d[n at !   
s*ool !re ne>ly all deal ) love &       
matrimony2 ! girls make h\ses & take 9  
lodg]s4 ,& if y p]suade !m to act ! "p (
 ,k+ ,alfr$ y are enc\rag+ !m to be     
little adults4 ,!y are *ildr5 :5 !y cry 
& run & jump2 :5ev] !y reason !y reason 
z adults4 ,!y are v (t5 9 ! company (   

adults 444 & t's "o ( ! reasons :y y _c 
tru/ :at are call$ *ild processes4 ,*ild
 processes naturally induce a *ild to   
make a r[ 444 & daddy won't put up ) a  
r[4 ,! *ild _c escape be+ a little      
adult4 ,x's all v well = a ,r\sseau to  
deal ab/ractly ) *ild psy*ology4 ,i am n
 ,r\sseau1 & ,i tackle ! less] problem (
 adult psy*ology4 ,! problem be=e me    
is--or r 0--pa9fully concrete4 ,i set   
out to c\nt]act ! adult influ5ce ( !    
home4 ,i saw ,pet] ,mac,mannish %y      
divots at ! ,radical c&idate because    
,pet]'s fa!r 0 a ,tory2 ,i saw ,lizzie  
,pet]s put out h] tongue at ! local     
,*ri/abel ,pankhur/ because ,lizzie's "m
 _h said =cibly t woman's place is !    
home4  ,i see1 said ! ,am]ican          
?\ghtfully1 y us$ y\r adult p]sonality  
on ! gr\nd t x 0 ! less] ( two evils8 ,b
 don't y ?9k t t 0 a mi/ake8 ,0 ! fre$om
 ( behavi\r & criticism y all[$ !m n !  
be/ antidote to home prejudices8  ,if ! 
*ildr5 _h n be5 go+ to homes at night ,i
 %\ld h tru/$ to fre$om alone4 ,z x 0 ! 

poor bairns 7 betwe5 two fires4 ,i gave 
!m fre$om 444 & _! p>5ts curs$ me4 ,"o  
woman s5t a v]bal message to me to !    
effect t ,i 0 an idiot2 "o bright little
 lassie came to me "o day ) ! words ( ! 
woman next door1 ',x's j wa/e o' "t     
att5d9' t s*ule4' ,d y imag9e t all !   
*ild processes 9 ! _w c\ld save a *ild f
 an environm5t l t8  ,:5 ! ,am]ican     
dep>t$ he held out 8 h&4  ,i came to see
 a re=m] ( *ild education1 he said ) a  
smile1 & ,i discov] t y ar5't a re=m] ( 
*ild education at all2 y\r job 9 life is
 to run a s*ool = p>5ts4     ,,ix4   ,! 
s*ool is clos$ = ! ,autumn ,holiday 444 
commonly call$ ! ,tattie ,holiday "h4   
,macdonald has gone (f to ,glasg[4 ,!   
bigg] boys & girls are ga!r+ potatoes 9 
! fields "h1 & ,i am driv+ ! tattie     
digg]4 ,at d9n]time !y come to ! bo?y & 
eat _! bread2 ,mrs4 ,?omson gives !m s\p
 & c(fee 9 ! kit*51 b !y br+ _! b[ls ov]
 to my bo?y4 ,mu* ( ! fun has gone out (
 !m2 ! con/ant b5d+ makes !m v tir$1 &  
!y drop (f to sleep v easily4 ,janet &  

,ell5 lay 9 my b$ all d9n]time ye/]day &
 slept4 ,occasionally a boy w s+ a song 
t always crops up at tattie "t3--       
,o6 ,i'm blyde ,i'm at ! tatties1       
,i'm blyde ,i'm at ! tatties1      ,i'm 
blyde ,i'm at ! tatties1      ,wi'      
au*te5p5ce a day6   ,blyde means glad1 b
 !re is b little gladness 9 ! b& t      
trudges up ! rigs 9 ! morn+ twilight4   
,jim ,jackson is sometimes 9 good =m4   
,he has tak5 on ! sway+ gait ( ! "y     
pl\ghman2 he hasn't got ! pockets t are 
situat$ 9 ! front ( ! tr\s]s1 b he %oves
 8 h&s d[n ! inside in/ead1 & he says3  
,ma ,goad1 y lads1 hurry up a=e ! ,boss 
comes roond wi' ! digg] aga96 ,!y call  
me ! ,boss n[2 ,macdonald is ! ,me/]4   
,!y seldom m5tion ! s*ool at all2 if !y 
d x is to recall "s incid5t t happ5$ 9  
my "t4 ,b already ! memory ( our happy  
days is becom+ hazy2 life is too int]e/+
 = *ildr5 to recall memories4  ,to-day  
,jim sat & gaz$ abs5tly at my bo?y fire4
  ,n[1 bairns1 ,i said1 ,jim's got an   
idea4 ,c\gh x up1 ,jim4  ,aw 0 ?9k9' o' 

! tattie-digg]1 he said sl[ly2 x seems  
an awfu' roondaboot wye o' lift9'       
tatties4 ,c\ld we no inv5t a digg] t wud
 hoal ! tatties & gai!r !m at ! same "t8
  ,laz9ess is ! "m ( inv5tion1 ,i       
rem>k$4  ,b 444 cud a ma*9e no be       
inv5t$8 he ask$4  ,y c\ld h a sort o'   
basket1 he w5t on1 t ceppit a' ! tatties
 z !y 7 ?r[n oot4  ,d9na hav]6 int]ject$
 ,janet1 x wud cep a' ! /anes at ! same 
"t4  ,if spuds 7 made o' /eel1 said     
,jim1 ye cud draw !m oot wi' a magnet4  
,& if ! sky fell y w\ld cat* l>ks1 said 
,i4  ,if ! sea dri$ up6 said ,ell51 &   
,jim in/antly =got 8 pat5t tattie-digg]4
  ,criv5s6 ,:at a f9e essay t wud mak6  
,:y did ye no gie u t = an essay8  ,take
 x on n[1 ,i sugge/$1 b he ignor$ !     
sugge/ion4  ,! ,me/] gae me a book to   
read 9 ! holidays1 he said irrelevantly1
 & x's call$ ,self ,help2 x's a' aboot  
laddies t got on weel4  ,i ceas$ to li/5
 to _! talk4 ,i ?\ght ( ,samuel ,smiles 
& 8 ,victorian ideals4 ,! book is       
iniquit\s n[adays2 x is ! ,bible ( !    

individuali/4 ,get on6 ,i'm afraid t    
,smiles' idea ( gett+ on is /ill popul> 
9 ,scotl&2 ! c\ntry might well adapt !  
popul> song ,get ,out & ,get ,"u1 *ang+ 
x to ,get ,on or ,get ,"u & mak+ x !    
national an!m ( ,scotl&4  ,i once comp>$
 ,self ,help ) ,lorim]'s ,lett]s ( a    
,self-made ,m]*ant to 8 ,son1 & 0 /ruck 
by ! simil>ity ( ! ideals4 ,lorim]'s    
book is an ,am]icanis$ ,self-help4      
,smiles is slightly bett]4 ,) him gett+ 
on means m ?an ! amass+ ( weal?2 x means
 ga9+ position1 :i* be+ int]pret$ means 
return+ to y\r native village ) prosp]\s
 rotundity & a gold *a94  ,lorim] has no
 special int]e/ 9 gold *a9s & symbols ( 
weal?2 he doesn't c>e a button =        
position4 ,he prea*es effici5cy & p[]2  
to him ! greate/ a*ievem5t 9 life appe>s
 to be ! pack+ ( ! maximum ( pig into ! 
m9imum ( t9 9 ! m9imum ( "t4 ,a bus9ess 
fri5d ( m9e tells me t x is ! greate/   
book ,am]ica has produc$4 ,evid5tly x   
didn't require ! ,lusitania incid5t to  
prove t ,am]ica is a long-suff]+ nation4

  ,jim 0 back to ! subject ( inv5tions  
aga94  ,aw read 9 a pap] t !re's a =tune
 wait9' = ! man t c inv5t some?+ to haud
 breeks up in/ead o' gallis's4  ,ye cud 
hae buttons on ! foot o' y] s>k1 sugge/$
 ,janet4  ,aye1 said ,jim scornfully1 & 
if a button cam (f :at wud haud up y]   
breeks8  ,public op9ion 444 9 ?is       
righte\s village1 ,i murmur$2 x's almo/ 
/rong en\gh to hold up any pair (       
breeks1 ,jim1 b no "o und]/ood me4  ,ye 
cud hae /icks up ! side1 said ,ell51 &  
y] breeks wud /& up l fi%]man's boots4  
,& if ye want$ to b5d8 dem&$ ,jim4      
,ell5 %ov$ out h] tongue at him4  ,ye   
nev] said ony?+ aboot b5d9'1 & ye d9na  
ne$ to b5d onywye4  ,:at aboot :5 ye're 
gai!r9' tatties8 cr[$ ,jim4  ,ell5 toss$
 h] head4  ,aw wasna ?9k9' o' ! sort o' 
man t gai!rs tatties2 ,aw 0 ?9k9' o'    
g5tlem5's breeks 444 ! k9d o' breeks    
ye'll nev] hae1 ,jim ,jackson4  ,jim    
sigh$ & gave me a look :i* ,i took to   
mean3 ,wom5 are impossible :5 x comes to
 argu+4 ,he ?\ght = a "t2 !n he look$ up

 ) tw9kl+ eyes4  ,aw've got x6  ,well8  
,d away wi' breeks a'-!-ge!r1 & we>     
kilts4  ,& :at w ye d wi' y] h&s8 put 9 
,fr$ ,f9dlay2 !re's nae poo*es 9 a kilt4
  ,goad1 ,fr$1 said ,jim1 ,aw nev] ?o*t 
o' t2 we'll j hae to wra/le on wi' oor  
breeks & oor gallis's4  ,ye cud we> a   
belt1 sugge/$ ,janet4  ,& gie mysel'    
pewmonia6 ,no likely6  ,x's no pewmonia 
t ye get we>9' a belt1 said ,janet1 x's 
a p5dicitis4  ,g'wa1 lassie1 :at d y k5 
aboot breeks onywye8  ,aw k5 mair ?an y 
d1 ,jim ,jackson4 ,= wan ?+ ,aw k5 t x's
 no a subject ye %ud speak aboot a=e    
lassies4 ,come on1 ,ell51 we'll g       
ootside2 ! conv]sation's no prop]4  ,jim
 glanc$ at me d\btfully4  ,x 0 h] t said
 t breeks cud be button$ to y] s>k6 he  
exclaim$4 ,he jump$ up & ha/5$ to !     
door4  ,janet ,broon1 ,i he>d him cry1  
d9na y speak aboot s>ks to me aga92 s>ks
 is no a prop] subject o' conv]sation = 
"y laddies4  ,i ?9k x 0 ,flet*] (       
,salt\n :o said t he didn't c>e :o made 
a nation's laws if he made its ballads4 

,to-night ,i feel t ,i don't c>e if     
,macdonald he>s ! bairns' op9ion (      
,*>les ,i4 s long z ,i he> _! op9ion (  
s>ks & breeks4                          
99       99       99  ,a ,trade ,union  
(ficial deliv]$ a lecture on ,lab\r     
,aspirations 9 ! village hall to-night4 
,i 0 sadly disappo9t$4 ,! man tri$ to   
make out t ! int]e/s ( ,capital & ,lab\r
 are simil>4  ,we are n out to aboli% ! 
capitali/1 he said2 all we want is a say
 9 ! work%op managem5t4 ,we h no?+ to d 
) ! way ! employ] conducts 8 bus9ess2 we
 want to m9d our own bus9ess4 ,we want  
to see m5 paid a liv+ wage2 we want to  
see4444 ,i ceas$ to be int]e/$ 9 :at !  
man want$ to see4 ,i fancy t he requires
 to see a devil ( a lot be=e he is      
capable ( guid+ ! ,trade ,unions4  ,:y  
are ^! s-call$ lead]s s poor 9          
intellect8 ,:y are !y s fe>ful ( ali5at+
 ! good op9ion ( ! capitali/8 ,if !     
,trade ,union has any goal at all x     
surely is ! abolition ( ! capitali/4 ,! 
lead]s crawl to ! feet ( capital & cry3 

,= ! ,"l's sake li/5 to u6 ,we won't ask
 mu*2 we won't (f5d y 9 ! lea/4 ,we     
m]ely want to ask v def]5tially t y w   
see t !re is no unemploym5t aft] ! w>4  
,we besee* y to let our /ew>ds h a      
little say 444 a v little say 444 9 !   
managem5t ( ! %ops4 ,take y\r ,r5t &    
,int]e/ & ,pr(it z usual2 z usual we'll 
be q cont5t ) :at is left ov]4  ,if a   
bull _h intellig5ce he w\ld n all[      
himself to be l$ to ! %ambles4 ,if !    
,trade ,unions _h intellig5ce !y w\ld n 
all[ _! paid lead]s to lead !m to !     
alt>4  ,! lectur] _h evid5tly be5 told t
 ,i 0 ! only ,sociali/ 9 ! village1 & he
 call$ ^u me to say a few words4 ,i h no
 d\bt t lat] he regrett$ call+ ^u me4   
,! speak] is mode/ 9 8 dem&s1 ,i said4  
,he has told y :at ,lab\r is ask+ =1 &  
n[ ,i'll tell y :at ,i ?9k ,lab\r %\ld  
ask =4 ,lab\r's *ief aim %\ld be to make
 ! ,trade ,unions blackleg pro(4 ,:5 !y 
h rop$ 9 all ! work]s !y w be able to   
comm& any?+ !y l4 ,!y %\ld !n g to !    
,/ate & say3 ',we want to jo9 =ces ) !  

,/ate4 ,capitalism is un-,*ri/like1 &   
wa/eful1 & we mu/ de/roy x4 ,we propose 
to take ov] ! :ole conc]n ourselves2 we 
propose to aboli% ,r5t1 ,int]e/1 &      
,pr(it 444 & ,wag]y4 ,at pres5t we are  
sell+ our lab\r to ! highe/ bidd]1 & 9 !
 process we are sell+ our s\ls along )  
our bodies4 ,ea* indu/ry w conduct its  
own bus9ess1 n = pr(it b = social       
s]vice2 no %>ehold]s w live on our      
lab\r2 we %all give our memb]s pay      
in/ead ( wages4'  ,g5tlem51 ,i call an  
organisation ( ?is k9d a ,guild1 b y c  
call x :at y l4 ,x is ! only            
organisation t w aboli% wag]y1 t is1 w  
prohibit lab\r f be+ a commodity obey+ !
 ,laws ( ,supply & ,dem&4  ,:at ab\t    
nationalisation ( l& & m9es & railways8 
said ! (ficial4 ,^! are on our          
programme1 & !y w revolutionise indu/ry4
  ,h& ov] ! m9es & ! railways to !      
,/ate1 ,i said1 & y h ,/ate capitalism4 
,y won't aboli% wages2 y'll buy ! m9es &
 railways1 & y'll draw y\r wages f :at  
is left ov] aft] ! int]e/ due to ! late 

%>ehold]s is paid4  ,ah6 he int]rupt$1 y
 want to confiscate8  ,if necess>y1     
c]ta9ly4 ,we h conscript$ life because !
 ,/ate requir$ m5 to give _! lives2 :y n
 conscript weal? 9 ! same way8 ,! ,/ate 
requires ! weal? ( ! ri*1 n only = !    
purpose ( pay+ = ! w>2 x requires x to  
pay = ! peace to come4  ,control (      
indu/ry by produc]s has always fail$1 he
 said4 ,! ,new ,/atesman ,supplem5t on !
 ,control ( ,indu/ry prov$ ?is          
conclusively4  ,( c\rse x has always    
fail$1 ,i said4 ,fly+ always fail$1 b ! 
a]oplane exp]im5t]s did n sit d[n &     
wail3 ',x's absolutely no good2 m5 h    
always fail$ to fly4' ,if ! ,railway    
,trade ,union got ! (f] ( ! :ole railway
 sy/em to-morr[ to run z x pleas$ x w\ld
 make a bonny ha% ( x4 ,:y8 ,because    
managem5t is a skill$ bus9ess4 ,b if !  
sal>i$ railway (ficials _h ! vision to  
see t _! int]e/s lay ) ! m5 in/ead ( ) !
 ma/]s1 !n y w\ld f9d a diff]5ce4 ,!    
,trade ,unions )\t ! sal>i$ (ficials are
 useless4  ,i read ! ,supplem5t y       

m5tion4 ,"o ( ! causes ( failure giv5 0 
t ! produc]s _h an int]e/ 9 ! plant & !y
 7 always unwill+ to scrap ma*9]y 9 ord]
 to introduce bett] ma*9es4  ,t's q     
true1 he nodd$4  ,is x8 ,:y does ,bruce 
! l95 manufactur] 9 ! neighb\r+ t[n "h  
scrap comp>atively new ma*9]y :5 bett]  
inv5tions come out8 ,he has an int]e/ 9 
! plant1 hasn't he8 ,:y !n does he n    
/ick to ! old me?ods8  ,he kn[s t he w  
ga9 9 ! end4  ,exactly4 ,& a society (  
work]s runn+ _! own bus9ess w\ld n h !  
gumption to see t ! new me?ods w\ld be a
 ga9 9 ! end8  ,! fact rema9s t !y h    
tri$ & fail$1 he said4  ,t m]ely proves 
t ! work]s )\t _! manag]s are hopeless1 
,i said4 ,:at c y expect f a section ( !
 community t has nev] be5 educat$8 ,y   
c't make a man slave t5 h\rs a day = a  
liv+ wage & !n expect him to h !        
organis+ ability ( ,m>t9 ! cig> m]*ant1 
or ! vision ( ,gamage ! univ]sal        
provid]4 ,a ri* m]*ant 9 ,london said to
 me :5 ,i ask$ him po9t blank if he     
always ?\ght ( 8 pr(its3 ',pr(its be    

bl[$6 ,! great ?+ is ! game ( bus9ess6' 
,i don't see any reason 9 ! _w :y !     
manag] ( say ,! ,enfield ,cycle ,company
 %\ld n be z en]getic & z capable if he 
7 manag+ a factory = ! ,cycle ,guild4   
,! work]s w\ld int]f]e ) him1 said !    
(ficial2 e workman :o _h a grudge aga9/ 
him w\ld try to get him put (f !        
manag]%ip4  ,"l6 ,i cri$1 = a           
repres5tative ( ,lab\r y seem to h a    
poor op9ion ( ! democracy y speak =6 ,if
 t is y\r attitude to y\r fell[-workm5  
,i q und]/& y\r mode/ dem&s = ,lab\r4   
,if ! rank & file ( ! ,trade ,unions c't
 rise high] ?an squabbl+ ab\t :e!r a    
manag] %\ld be sack$ or n1 ! ,trade     
,unions _h bett] cont5t !mselves ) !    
programme _! lead]s h arrang$ = !m4 ,!y 
_h bett] conc5trate _! att5tion on      
trifles l a ,m9imum ,wage or an ,old    
,age ,p5sion4  ,a di/urb+ ?\ght comes to
 me to-night4 ,democracy means rule by !
 majority 444 & ! majority is always    
wrong4 ,! only com=t ,i c f9d lies 9 !  
?\ght t ! majority ( to-day repres5ts ! 

op9ions ( ! m9ority ( ye/]day4          
,democracy w always be tw5ty ye>s beh9d 
its "t4                             99  
99       99  ,to-day has be5 a v wet    
,sunday4 ,i did n get up till "o        
o'clock4 ,m>g>et came ov] ab\t tea-"t & 
invit$ me to sample "s drop scones %e _h
 be5 mak+4 ,%e 0 9 a skitti% mood1 & %e 
began to turn my bo?y upside d[n on !   
allegation t x 0 "t = autumn clean+4 ,i 
ord]$ h] to ! door1 & %e sat d[n on my  
b$ & laugh$ at me4 ,i said t ,i w\ld ?r[
 a drop scone at h] head if x 7 n = !   
dang] ( %y+ weights ab\t                
indiscrim9ately1 & %e ?rew my pill[ at  
me4 ,i rose f my *air & w5t to h]4  ,out
 y come1 y besom6 ,i cri$ & ,i seiz$ h] 
by ! %\ld]s4 ,we /ruggl$ 444 & ,i       
sudd5ly realis$ t z we paus$ = brea? h] 
face 0 v ne> m9e4 ,i ?rew my arms ar\nd 
h] & kiss$ h] /raight on ! lips4 ,!n    
sl[ly we p>t$ & we /ood look+ at ea*    
o!r4 ,h] face _h become v s]i\s4  ,y--y 
%\ldn't h done t6 %e gasp$4  ,:y n8 ,i  
ask$ lamely4  ,%e gaz$ at me wildly = a 

long mom5t2 !n %e ru%$ f ! room4  ,x    
happ5$ 444 & ,i don't believe 9 cry+ ov]
 spilt milk4 ,if ,i _h be5 a /rong man x
 w\ldn't h happ5$2 if ,m>g>et _h n be5 9
 t skitti% mood x w\ldn't h happ5$4     
,c>lyle says some:]e3 ,mighty ev5ts turn
 on a /raw2 ! cross+ ( a brook decides !
 conque/ ( ! _w4 ,mighty ev5ts6 ,is ?is 
a mighty ev5t8 ,i h kiss$ _m a girl4 ,to
 me1 no2 b to ,m>g>et ,i fe> t x is4 ,x 
0 mo/ likely h] fir/ kiss s9ce %e became
 a woman4 ,i feel v l ,alec             
,d',urb]ville1 ! s$uc] ( ,tess1 to-night
 444 only ,i don't ?9k ,i'll take       
religion z he did & try to lead ,m>g>et 
to salvation z he did ,tess4 ,x sudd5ly 
/rikes me t ,i am m l ,angel ,cl>e4 ,he 
0 an educat$ man le>n+ f>m+2 ,i am an   
educat$ man t5d+ cattle4 ,he fell 9 love
 ) ! dairymaid ,tess2 ,i4444 ,b h ,i    
fall5 9 love ) anyone8 ,9 g5]al ,i %\ld 
say t :5 a man asks himself :e!r he is 9
 love or n he is n 9 love4 ,love        
ov]-rules ! head2 e m>riage means a     
victory ( he>t ov] head4 ,presumably !  

m5 :o h no heads make ! be/ lov]s4      
,hamlet c\ld n love ,ophelia because he 
_h a head2 ,romeo lov$ ,juliet because  
he hadn't a head4 ,! :ole problem ( ,h4 
,g4 ,wells' lat] novels lies 9 ! fact t 
8 m5 h heads4 ,!y are all analytical 444
 & ! man :o analyses himself always     
appe>s be=e ! public z a selfi% brute4  
,! analytical man _c make a m>tyr (     
himself2 he is a weakl+2 he has 8 fun   
444 & he pays = x1 b he makes a woman   
pay = x also4  ,i suppose t 9 anci5t    
times love 0 a simple ?+4 ,y desir$ a   
woman1 & y hit h] fa!r on ! head ) a    
/one axe & c>ri$ h] (f to y\r cave4 ,9 !
 majority ( cases x is a simple bus9ess 
yet2 y don't knock y\r prospective      
fa!r-9-law on ! head ) a hat*et2 y take 
a filial int]e/ 9 y\r prospective       
"m-9-law's rheumatics in/ead4 ,:5 ,smi? 
! %opwalk] falls 9 love ) ,nancy ( ! hat
 dep>tm5t 8 *ief conc]n is to "k h[ he  
is go+ to keep h\se on 8 sal>y4 ,he nev]
 sits d[n ( an ev5+ say+ to himself3    
,n[1 is ,nancy my s\l-mate8 ,is h] s5se 

( hum\r some?+ l my own8 ,may we n be   
absolutely incompatible 9 temp]am5t8    
,smi? hasn't ! fa9te/ idea :at sort (   
man he is himself1 & if y ar5't di/urb$ 
by d\bts ab\t y\rself y won't be di/urb$
 ) d\bts ab\t y\r future wife4 ,i %\ld  
guess t ,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,smi? w live       
happily toge!r 444 if %e is a passable  
cook4  ,i fe> greatly t ! introspective 
man is doom$ to connubial mis]y4 ,m>g>et
 likes to read p5ny novelettes1 & %e w  
probably take a fancy to ,*>les ,g>vice 
"s day soon4 ,%e kn[s no?+ ab\t music or
 pa9t+ or lit]ature4 ,unless we are     
ragg+ ea* o!r we h n a s+le topic (     
common int]e/2 we %\ld c]ta9ly bore ea* 
o!r dur+ ! fir/-class honeymoon j\rney  
s\?4  ,!n :y 9 ! "n ( ?und] did ,i kiss 
h]8 ,i suppose t ,i kiss$ h] because    
kiss+ is m elem5tal ?an ?9k+4 ,:5 %e _h 
ru%$ out ,i 0 joy\s 9 ! realisation t h]
 lips 7 sweet1 t h] neck 0 glori\sly    
graceful1 t h] eyes 7 deep & wond]ful4  
,b n[ h] physical *>ms h gone ) h]1 &   
d\bts cr[d 9 ^u me4  ,i wond] :at %e is 

?9k+ (6 ,i "k t %e has no d\bts ab\t    
h]self1 b ,i fancy t %e has h] d\bts    
ab\t me4 ,poor lassie 444 & well %e     
might6                             99   
99       99  ,%e 0 milk+ to-night4 ,i   
w5t ov] & /ood beside h]4 ,%e look$ up1 
& h] eyes %one ) a new brightness4 ,%e  
c\ld n meet my gaze1 & %e flu%$ & look$ 
! o!r way4  ,m>g>et1 ,i said s(tly1 ,i  
love y6  ,%e held up h] lips to me 444 &
 !n ,i walk$ out ( ! byre4  ,&1 y "k1 ,i
 int5d$ to say some?+ v diff]5t4 ,i     
int5d$ to say3 ,m>g>et1 ,i 0 a fool la/ 
night4 ,try to =get all ab\t x4  ,i     
kiss$ h] in/ead4 ,i'm afraid ,i 0 a fool
 la/ night1 & a fool to-night1 & a fool 
all ! "t4 ,h[ev]1 ,i am a happy fool    
to-night4     ,x4   ,macdonald has      
return$4 ,he has br\ght a man ,macduff )
 him1 a college fri5d ( 81 & n[ !       
headma/] ( a big s*ool 9 ,p]?%ire4 ,he  
has m5tion$ ,macduff to me m ?an once4  
,macduff is 8 ideal s*oolma/]1 a /]n    
discipl9>ian & a great produc] (        
results4 ,:5 !y came up to see me       

to-night ,macdonald's face gl[$ )       
anticipation2 x 0 evid5t t he _h come to
 my fun]al4 ,macduff 0 to slay me1 bury 
me1 & write my epitaph4 ,i ?\ght (      
agree+ ) ,macduff z mu* z possible1 s z 
to rob ,macdonald ( 8 triumph1 b ,i f\nd
 x impossible to f9d m ?an a few po9ts (
 agreem5t4 ,i manag$1 h[ev]1 to c>ry !  
w> into ! enemy's camp1 & ,macduff f\nd 
himself act+ on ! def5sive m ?an once4  
,i read y\r ,log1 he said agreeably1 &  
,i mu/ congratulate y on x4 ,i laugh$ at
 _m ( ! y>ns y h 9 x4  ,! wor/ ( be+    
call$ a humori/1 said ,i1 is t ev]ybody 
seizes on y\r light bits1 & ignores y\r 
s]i\s bits4  ,i didn't ignore y\r s]i\s 
bits1 he said1 ,i read !m c>efully 444  
&1 to be frank1 ?\ght !m damn$ nons5se4 
,y don't m9d my say+ s1 d y8  ,c]ta9ly  
n1 my de> fell[6 ,:5 y've read ! ev5+   
pap] critics' op9ion ( y\rself y c /&   
any?+4 ,i am all = a free criticism2 x  
lets y "k :]e y /& at once4  ,we bo?    
became v amiable aft] t1 & ,i (f]$ him a
 fill ( ,macdonald's baccy4 ,!n ,i      

br\ght out a bottle ( :iskey1 & we sat  
r\nd ! bo?y fire l bro!rs4  ,& n[1 ,i   
said1 tell me all ab\t ! damn$          
nons5sical p>ts4  ,well1 he laugh$1 x   
seems a dirty trick to dr9k a *ap's     
:iskey & slate 8 ideas at ! same "t1    
doesn't x8  ,x might be worse1 ,i said )
 a smile2 y might slate 8 :iskey & dr9k 
9 8 ideas at ! same "t2 & ,i've nev] met
 a man :o c\ld /& be+ accus$ ( keep+ bad
 :iskey1 al?\gh ,i "k doz5s ( m5 :o w   
sit ) a gr9 on _! faces :ile y te> _!   
philosophy ( life to pieces4  ,!y gr9 at
 y\r ignorance1 eh8  ,exactly6          
,macdonald held up 8 glass to ! light & 
ey$ x ?\ghtfully4  ,macduff's !ory is t 
if y sp>e ! rod y spoil ! *ild1 he said4
  ,yes1 said ,macduff1 ,i agree ) old   
,solomon4 ,y "k1 x's all v well to be a 
h]etic1 b y are up aga9/ ! wisdom ( !   
ages4 ,all ! way f ,solomon d[nw>ds     
p>5ts h agre$ t y\ng/]s mu/ be tra9$    
/rictly4 ,y c't sma% up ! wisdom ( !    
ages z y try to d4  ,! wisdom ( ! ages6 
,i mus$4444 ,:5 ,i come to ?9k ( x !    

wisdom ( ! ages taught m5 t ! e>? 0     
flat1 t ! sun w5t r\nd ! e>?1 t ! t\* ( 
a k+ cur$ ,k+'s ,evil4 ,d y mean to say 
t because a ?+ has a tradition beh9d x x
 mu/ be believ$ = ev]8 ,because ,solomon
 said a ?+ is x et]nally true8 ,! wisdom
 ( ! ages mu/ be made to give place to !
 wisdom ( ! age4  ,!n y w\ld h ea*      
g5]ation ignore all t _h be5 said by m5 
( previ\s g5]ations8  ,i don't mean t4  
,by all means f9d out :at wise m5 ( old 
h said1 b don't wor%ip !m2 be ready all 
! "t to reject _! wisdom if y feel y c't
 agree ) x4 ,?is us+ ! rod bus9ess is a 
tradition because m5 f\nd x ! easie/    
me?od = !mselves4 ,a *ild 0 weak & he 0 
noisy2 ! easie/ ?+ to d 0 to :ack !     
little *ap4 ,d y all[ conv]sation 9 y\r 
s*ool8  ,i d n6 he said grimly4  ,& :y8 
,!y c't "w if !y are talk+4  ,& t's y\r 
sole reason8  ,yes4  ,if an inspector   
/ood at y\r desk *att+ to y ab\t ! w>1  
w\ld y h a sil5t room8  ,c]ta9ly4  ,b   
:y8  ,oh1 he said impati5tly1 = v>i\s   
reasons4 ,!y ar5't !re to talk2 & !y've 

got to be discipl9$1 to und]/& t !y are 
n free to d z !y l :5ev] !y l4  ,also1  
,i sugge/$1 ! inspector might be annoy$8
  ,!re's t 9 x1 he confess$ ) a little  
confusion4  ,! wisdom ( ! ages agrees ) 
y1 ,i said1 & ,i ?9k t 9 ?is case !     
wisdom ( ! ages is wrong4 ,9 ! fir/     
place ,i want to "k :at y're try+ to    
produce4  ,educat$ citiz5s1 he repli$4  
,& s9ce ! ,solomon tradition has be5 9  
vogue = q a long "t1 d y consid] t x has
 produc$ educat$ citiz5s z yet8  ,m or  
less1 he answ]$4  ,i c't see x1 ,i said4
 ,:5 n9e-t5?s ( ! population ( ^! isles 
live on ! bord] l9e ( />vation y c't    
surely argue t !y are educat$ citiz5s4  
,!y are bulli$ citiz5s 444 & ! fir/ /ep 
9 ! bully+ ( !m 0 ! refusal ( au?ority 9
 ! %ape ( ! p>5t & ! p$agogue to sp>e ! 
rod4  ,b look "h1 he int]rupt$1 come    
back to ! s*ool4 ,d y ?9k x wrong = a   
tea*] to compel a boy to att5d to a     
lesson8  ,i d4 ,if he has to be compell$
 ! lesson cle>ly fails to int]e/ him4 ,i
 w\ld h *ildhood a g>d5 9 :i* "o c\ld   

w&] :]ev] "o pleas$2 ,i w\ld aboli% fe> 
& puni%m5t4  ,& d y mean to tell me1 he 
dem&$1 t a boy w (f] to le>n 8 hi/ory & 
geography & ari?metic & gramm> ( 8 own  
free w8  ,x dep5ds on ! boy4 ,"h1 aga91 
we come up aga9/ ! wisdom ( ! ages4 ,!  
wisdom ( ! ages has decre$ t ^! subjects
 are ! *ief ?+s 9 education4 ,b are !y8 
,i %\ld imag9e t x is m important = a   
boy to "k some?+ ab\t fem99e psy*ology  
?an ab\t ,h5ry ! ,eigh?4 ,he w "o day be
 call$ on to *oose a wife1 b he'll nev] 
be call$ on to *oose a k+4 ,aga9 :y %\ld
 geography be ( m importance ?an        
anatomy8 ,a man nev] wants to "k :]e    
,timbuctoo is1 b he v (t5 wants to "k   
:e!r ! pa9 9 8 tummy is app5dicitis or  
he>tburn4  ,g on6 he laugh$1 f9d a      
sub/itute = ari?metic n[6  ,ari?metic1  
,i said1 is ! trump c>d ( ! man :o wants
 a utilit>ian education4 ,i c d lots (  
sums--,simple ,int]e/1 ,pr(it & ,loss1  
,ratio & ,proportion1 ,tra9 ,sums1      
,/ream ,sums4444 ,i c\ld almo/ d a ,cube
 ,root4 ,s f> z ,i c rememb] ,i h nev]  

_h occasion to use ari?metic = any      
purpose o!r ?an add+ up money or        
multiply+ a few figures by a few        
figures4 ,y\r utilit>ianism someh[ leads
 9 ! wrong direction mo/ ( ! "t4 ,i 0   
br\ght up "u ! wisdom ( ! ages          
curriculum1 & ,i'll j give y an idea (  
"s ( ! ?+s ,i don't "k4 ,i don't "k !   
diff]5ce betwe5 a mu%room & a toad/ool2 
,i hav5't ! fa9te/ idea ( h[ !y make    
glass or soap or pa9t or w9e or :iskey  
or be] or pap] or c&les or mat*es2 ,i "k
 no?+ ab\t ! process ( law2 ,i don't "k 
:at /eps "o takes to get m>ri$ or       
divorc$ or cremat$ or naturalis$2 ,i    
don't "k ! />bo>d side ( a %ip2 ,i don't
 "k h[ a vacuum brake works4 ,i c\ld    
fill a book ) a li/ ( ! ?+s ,i don't "k 
444 a book z big z ! ,encyclopdia       
,britannica4  ,:at ,i want to "k is ?is3
 ,h[ are we to det]m9e :at ?+s are      
important to "k8 ,f a utilit>ian po9t ( 
view x is m important to "k h[ to get   
m>ri$ ?an h[ to f9d ! latitude &        
longitude ( ,naples4 ,z an ex]cise (    

?9k+ x is q z important to inquire into 
! work+ ( a ,we/+h\se brake z to inquire
 into ! work+ ( a ,pr(it & ,loss sum4   
,!n :at curriculum w\ld y h8  ,i w\ldn't
 h any curriculum4 ,i w\ld all[ a boy to
 le>n :at he want$ to le>n4 ,if he      
pref]s kite-mak+ to s5t5ce-mak+ ,i want 
him to *oose kite-mak+4 ,if he wants to 
cat* m9n[s in/ead ( read+ ab\t          
,napoleon1 ,i say let him d x2 he is    
le>n+ :at he wants to le>n1 & t's       
exactly :at we all d :5 we leave !      
compulsion ( ! s*oolroom4  ,x won't d6  
cri$ ,macduff4  ,look at x 9 ?is way1 ,i
 said4 ,suppose ,i am ?ree /one heavi]  
?an y4 ,& suppose t ,i ?9k x w\ld b5efit
 y if y knew all ab\t--let u say        
,evolution4 ,i come to y1 take y by !   
back ( ! neck & say3 ',macduff1 y get up
 ! ,d>w9ian ,!ory ^w p]fect by ,monday  
morn+4 ,if y don't ,i'll ba% y\r head = 
y4' ,i reckon t y w\ld call 9 ! police  
444 & !y w\ld naturally call 9 ! local  
prison doctor to inquire into my sanity4
 ,t is exactly :at y are do+ 9 y\r s*ool

 444 only1 un=tunately1 ! police & !    
prison doctor are on y\r side4          
,p]sonally ,i c\ld make out a /rong case
 = y\r be+ c]tifi$ z a dang]\s lunatic )
 homicidal t5d5cies4  ,ah6 he said1 b ! 
two cases are diff]5t4 ,y\r arbitr>y    
insi/5ce on my le>n+ all ab\t ,d>w9 has 
no "r on its side2 x's m]ely y\r op9ion 
t ,i %\ld "k all ab\t ,evolution4 ,b :5 
,i make a boy le>n 8 hi/ory & gramm> ,i 
am n act+ on my own op9ion4 ,p]sonally  
,i confess t ,i tea* lots ( ?+s & don't 
see ! use ( !m4  ,y obey !--er--! wisdom
 ( ! ages8  ,i suppose ,i d4            
,education1 ,i said1 %\ld lead a boy to 
?9k = himself1 b if tea*]s refuse to ?9k
 = !mselves 9 case !y disagree ) !      
wisdom ( ! ages ,i don't see t !y are ! 
m5 to lead *ildr5 to ?9k = !mselves4    
,lat] we discuss$ motor-cycles1 & ,i    
le>n$ _m tips f ,macduff4 ,he is a m9e (
 in=mation on ! subject4  ,:5 !y _h gone
 ,i ?\ght out ! problem ( ! curriculum4 
,to aboli% ! curriculum involves aboli%+
 l>ge classes4 ,i w\ld h classes ( n m  

?an a doz5 pupils4 ,9 ! free s*ool ,i   
picture1 classes w\ld n 9 fact exi/2 if 
!re 7 a hundr$ & tw5ty s*ol>s !re w\ld  
be t5 tea*]s4 ,!y w\ld act z guides to  
be consult$ :5 necess>y4 ,ea* tea*] w\ld
 le>n ) 8 or h] pupils4 ,a tea*] is n an
 encyclopdia ( facts2 he is an enquir]4 
,:5 we t>r$ ! pigeon-h\se ,i did n say3 
,n[1 boys1 li/5 to me1 & le>n h[ to put 
on t>4 ,! boys br\ght *unks ( pit* 9 _! 
pockets 7pretty c]ta9ly sneak$ f ! heaps
 us$ = t>-spray+ ! roads74 ,we got an   
old pail & melt$ ! solid /uff1 !n we    
tri$ to put x on4 ,! trial 0 a complete 
failure2 ! t> w\ld n run4 ,we sat d[n to
 consid] ! matt]4  ,tell y :at1 boys1   
said ,*e]y ,smi?1 we'll ?9 x wi' "s     
p>aff94  ,we ?9n$ x ) "s p>aff9 & ! /uff
 ran q easily4  ,:5 ,i told ,macdonald (
 ! incid5t he cri$3 ,yes1 b ?9k ( ! "t y
 wa/$6  ,:at's wrong ) ,macdonald &     
,macduff is t !y "k too mu* to be good  
tea*]s4 ,!y h no?+ to le>n4 ,!y "k all !
 facts ab\t curriculum subjects2 !y "k  
exactly :at is "r & :at is wrong2 !y "k 

t _! au?ority is infallible2 !y "k t    
swe>+ is bad1 t cap-lift+ is good2 !y "k
 t ob$i5ce is a great virtue1 t         
disob$i5ce to _! au?ority is an         
un=givable s94 ,!y are ! ,sup]m5 (      
education2 _! attitude to ! s*ool is    
exactly ! attitude ( ,*>les ,i4 to 8    
,p>liam5t4 ,!y believe 9 ! ,div9e ,"r ( 
,dom9ies4 ,! dom9ie c d no wrong4       
,macdonald's bairns consid] him some?+  
beyond a human be+2 he kn[s ev]y?+2 he  
is above temptation4 ,he has no         
weaknesses2 8 pipe goes into 8 pocket :5
 he meets a *ild2 he w\ldn't all[ a *ild
 to see him kiss 8 wife = all ! gold 9 !
 ,bank ( ,engl&4  ,b !re are            
expectations d[n at ! s*oolh\se4 ,& ,i  
w\ld almo/ sell my s\l to be 9 !        
classroom on ! morn+ :5 ,macdonald ent]s
 x ) ! ^w pat]nity writ l>ge on 8 prim  
face4 ,i bet my boots t1 )\t say+ a s+le
 ^w1 he w manage to give ! bairns !     
impression t he _h no?+ to d ) ! affair 
at all4                             99  
99       99  ,a fri5d ( m9e1 a ,london]1

 came to /ay ! week-end ) me4 ,to-day we
 rambl$ ov] ! hills1 & a pair ( new     
boots began to make my fri5d's feet take
 on a sep>ate exi/5ce4 ,we 7 ab\t ?ree  
miles f home1 & ! prospect ( walk+ t    
di/ance pa9fully 0 r di%e>t5+ to him4   
,luckily ,moss-side milk c>t came along1
 & ! boy ask$ u if we want$ a lift to ! 
village2 he 0 tak+ ! day's milk to !    
/ation4  ,:5 we left ! c>t my fri5d     
turn$ to me 9 amazem5t4  ,"h1 he cri$1  
didn't y give him some?+8  ,good ,"l1   
no6 ,i laugh$4  ,oh1 y bloom+ ,scot*man6
 he said ) f]v\r4 ,if ,i _h kn[n ,i'd h 
giv5 ! *ap a tip myself4  ,i nev] ?\ght 
( tipp+ him1 ,i said1 & if ,i _h ,i     
w\ldn't h tipp$ him all ! same4 ,y      
bless$ ,engli%m5 c nev] rise above y\r  
/upid feudal idea ( rew>d+ ! l[]        
classes4 ,9 y\r s\? c\ntry a c\ntryman  
is a ,lickspittle2 he t\*es 8 cap to    
any?+ ) a coll> on4 ,we don't bre$ t k9d
 ( specim5 9 ,scotl&4 ,t "y lad is a    
/rang] to me1 b he & y & ,i 7 equals2   
!re 0 no s]vility ab\t him2 he *att$ to 

u z an equal4 ,he expect$ no?+1 & if y  
_h (f]$ him a %ill+ y w\ld h patronis$  
him1 pos$ z 8 sup]ior4  ,b1 damn x all1 
! *ap e>n$ a bob6  ,he didn't2 all he   
e>n$ 0 y\r gratitude4 ,! boy 0 do+ a    
dec5t k9dly ?+ = its own sake1 & y want 
to %ove a vulg> tip into 8 h&4 ,if ,i _h
 come along 9 a ,rolls-,royce c> & giv5 
y a lift1 w\ld y h (f]$ to rew>d me8    
,:at's wrong ) y s\!rn]s is t y always  
?9k 9 classes2 y\r tipp+ isn't k9dness2 
y tip to save y\r self-respect2 y are   
afraid t any man ( ! l[] ord]s %\ld ?9k 
y mean4 ,! ,scot is n z a rule hamp]$ by
 class di/9ctions1 & he (t5 refuses to  
tip because he hates to insult a man4 ,y
 ,london]s put x d[n to meanness1 b ,i  
w\ld h felt myself ! meane/ ( l[ cads if
 ,i _h tipp$ t pl\ghboy4 ,scotl& is     
comp>atively free f ! rott5 tipp+ habit4
 ,a few gamekeep]s get tips f ,engli%   
sport+ g5tlem51 & a few port]s get tips 
f ,engli% travell]s4  ,y h spoilt t boy 
= ! next un=tunate p$e/rian1 he said2 ! 
next "t he sees a man limp+ along ! road

 he w say to himself3 ',nev] aga96' ,i  
knew !n t he _h n be5 li/5+ to my       
argum5t4  ,if tipp+ is degrad+ to ! man 
:o tips & ! man :o holds out 8 palm1 ,i 
_c see t s*ool prize-giv+ is any bett]4 
,! k9dly ,s*ool ,bo>d memb]s :o are     
anxi\s to enc\rage ! bairns to "w =     
prizes h ess5tially ! same outlook z my 
fri5d f t[n4 ,i fancy t ! mod]n         
int]pretation ( ,*ri/ianity has some?+  
to d ) ?is national desire = rew>d &    
puni%m5t4 ,to me ! :ole attitude is     
di/a/eful4 ,obvi\sly ,i am :at ,i am2 ,i
 0 born ) a c]ta9 nature1 & ,i 0 br\ght 
up 9 a c]ta9 environm5t4 ,! mak+ ( my   
ego 0 a ?+ outside my direction         
altoge!r4 ,to rew>d me 9 an aft] life = 
be+ a religi\s man is z unfair z to     
puni% me = be+ a ?ief4 ,we don't aw>d a 
gold m$al to an actress = be+ beautiful2
 we don't (f] ,%aw a pe]age because he  
is ,*ri/like en\gh to hate kill+ animals
 = sport4 ,%aw c no m help be+          
humanit>ian ?an ,gladys ,coop] c help   
be+ bonny4 ,d[n 9 ! s*ool !re ,ell5     

,smi? c no m help be+ ! be/ ari?metician
 ?an ,dave ,ramsay c help be+ ! bigge/  
c[>d4  ,speak+ ( ,dave 444 :5 ,macdonald
 0 worry+ ov] ! allocation ( prizes !   
o!r week1 he ask$ me if ,dave 0 good at 
any?+4  ,well1 ,i said1 he holds !      
record = spitt+ f>!r ?an any boy 9 !    
s*ool2 ,i ?9k he des]ves a prize = t4   
,believe me1 ,macdonald1 e boy 9 ! class
 w\ld r hold t record ?an c>ry (f !     
prize = ari?metic 444 & ,i don't blame  
!m ei!r4  ,! subject ( ,scots & tipp+   
puts me 9 m9d ( :at is probably ! be/   
,scot 9 ,london y>n4  ,a ,scot1 foll[$  
by 8 five *ildr51 ent]$ ! ,ritz ,hotel1 
& sat d[n 9 ! l\nge4  ,wait]6 ,a bottle 
o' leemonade & sax tumbl]s6 he cri$4  ,!
 wait] 0 too dumbf\nd$ to d any?+ b br+ 
! liquor4 ,he /ood 9 op5-m\!d amazem5t z
 ! ,scot divid$ ! bottle among ! six    
glasses1 b1 :5 ! ,scot took a bag ( buns
 f 8 pocket & proce$$ to di/ribute !m1 !
 wait] set (f bl9dly to f9d ! manag]4   
,! manag] approa*$4 ,he tapp$ ! ,scot on
 ! %\ld]1 & 9 a /]n voice he said3      

,excuse me1 b ,i'm ! manag] ( ?is       
e/abli%m5t4  ,! ,scot look$ up at him   
%>ply4  ,o1 ye're ! manag]1 are ye8     
,weel1 :y ! hell's ! b&'s no play9'8    
,,xi4   ,macdonald _h a sort ( cookie   
%9e to-night1 & ,i 0 invit$4 ,! o!r     
gue/s 7 ,mit*ell1 ! assi/ant-manag] ( ! 
railway con/ruction dep>tm5t1 & ,willis1
 ! head ( ! wat] dep>tm5t4 ,we play$    
,bridge1 & ,i sp5t f\r h\rs ( mis]y4 ,i 
hate c>ds2 ,i c't conc5trate at all1 &  
,i nev] h ! fa9te/ idea :at ! man on my 
left has disc>d$4 ,willis & ,i won4  ,i 
always look ^u c>ds z a veil$ insult to 
gue/s4 ,i want to "k :at a man is ?9k+  
:5 ,i meet him2 on ! few occasions on   
:i* ,i h br\ght out a pack ( c>ds to    
ent]ta9 gue/s ,i h done s on ! frank    
realisation t _! conv]sation wasn't wor?
 li/5+ to4  ,lat] :5 we sat r\nd ! fire 
to *at ,i grudg$ ! "t lo/ ov] ! game4   
,mit*ell _h be5 = _m ye>s 9 ,india1 & 8 
/ories ( life !re 7 ( great int]e/ to   
me4 ,he did n !orise ab\t ,india2 he    
accept$ )\t ?\ght ! attitude ( ! av]age 

,anglo-,indian 444 ! nigg] is a bea/ t  
has to be knock$ into %ape2 !           
,anglo-,indian mode ( gov]nm5t 0        
tip-top1 c\ldn't be beat2 asses l ,keir 
,h>die ought nev] to be all[$ to put _! 
foot 9 ,india2 :at's wrong ) ,india is  
:at's wrong ) ! work+ classes "h--we    
give 'em too mu* education1 make 'em    
discont5t$4  ,willis 0 ( a m intellig5t 
type4 ,he _h be5 all ov] ! _w1 &1 al?\gh
 a ,cons]vative to ! backbone1 he _h    
made "s /udy ( mod]n problems4 ,he _h   
/udi$ ,socialism1 ?\ght x a f9e ?+1     
b4444 ,y've got to *ange human nature   
fir/1 he said4                          
99       99       99  ,if ,i 7 writ+ a  
novel ,i %\ld n[ head a *apt]           
?us3--,*apt] ,,xxiv41 9 ,:i* ,macdonald 
& ,i become ,bro!rs 9 ,affliction4  ,he 
came up to see me to-night4  ,y've put  
y\r foot 9 x ?is "t1 he began4  ,:at is 
x8 ,i cri$ 9 al>m4  ,old                
,br[n--,violet's fa!r--wants to slay y4 
,8 wife he>d f ,mrs4 ,wylie t y said to 
,wylie t he1 ,br[n1 _h ! intellect ( a  

boil$ rabbit4  ,t's bad1 ,i said 9      
dismay4 ,! old fool 0 talk+ pu]ile      
rubbi% ab\t ! wick$ness ( !             
work+-classes4 ,wylie 0 !re1 & aft]     
,br[n _h gone ,i did make ! impati5t    
rem>k t he _h ! intellect ( a boil$     
rabbit4 ,b1 ,good ,"l6 ,i didn't want ! 
?+ to g back to 8 e>s4 ,h[ ,i c ev] look
 ! man 9 ! face aga9 ,i don't "k4  ,y   
%\ld h ?\ght ( t be=e y spoke1 said     
,macdonald ) a smile4  ,oh1 ,i repli$1  
,i don't regret say+ x 9 ! lea/2 at ! "t
 ,i felt x 0 ! only ?+ to say4 ,:at ,i  
regret is ! meanness ( ,wylie or 8 wife4
 ,br[n is a dec5t old *ap1 & ,i'm r fond
 ( him4 ,:y ! devil are p s dirty 9 m9d1
 ,macdonald8 ,we all say ?+s t we don't 
want c>ri$ to ! p]son we are speak+     
ab\t4 ,i say ?+s ab\t y t ,i w\ld hate y
 to he>1 & ,i guess t y are 9 a simil>  
position ) reg>d to me4 ,b ! unp>donable
 social crime is to tell "o man :at     
ano!r has said ab\t him4 ,x's ! l[e/ d[n
 trick ,i "k4  ,:at'll y d ab\t x8      
,i'll g /raight d[n to ,br[n & apologise

 = ,wylie's bad ta/e4  ,& y\r own6  ,n  
at all4 ,i'll tell him ,i've said worse 
?+s ?an t ab\t him1 b ,i'll implore him 
n to let !m make any diff]5ce 9 our     
fri5d%ip4  ,i've got a na/y little      
problem myself1 said ,macdonald4 ,y "k t
 conf\nd$ committee ( villag]s t has    
*>ge ( ! ,s\p ,kit*5 ,fund8  ,i d1 ,i   
cri$ f]v5tly4  ,well1 ,i call$ a meet+ =
 la/ night 444 & ,i =got to po/ ,mrs4   
,wylie's invitation4  ,call t a na/y    
problem8 ,i cri$2 my de> *ap1 y've rais$
 a :irlw9d & tempe/ comb9$ 444 & !re    
won't be any /ill small voice at ! end (
 'em ei!r4 ,y've committ$ ! ,un=givable 
,s9 ?is "t4  ,%e's 9 an awful wax1 he   
cont9u$2 says t %e nev] 0 insult$ l ?is 
be=e4 ,%e came up to-night & gave me    
beans 444 told me t y 7 a p]fect        
g5tleman6  ,i took c>e nev] to omit h]  
:5 ,i call$ ! committee1 ,i said        
mode/ly4  ,%e'll nev] =give me1 said    
,macdonald dolefully4  ,oh1 yes %e w 444
 if y play y\r c>ds well4 ,y\r game is  
to s5d a notice ( ! meet+ to ! local    

pap]4 ,!n comm5ce a new p>agraph        
?us3--,! ,conv5]1 ,mr4 ,macdonald1      
intimat$ t ,mrs4 ,wylie's invitation to 
! meet+ _h be5 un9t5tionally ov]look$1 &
 he express$ 8 v e>ne/ regret t 8 mi/ake
 _h depriv$ ! meet+ ( ! always helpful  
advice ( ! injur$ lady4  ,publicity     
salves all w\nds 9 ! village1           
,macdonald4 ,d z ,i sugge/ & ,mrs4 ,w4 w
 support y = all et]nity4  ,!y are s    
small-m9d$1 he said4  ,!y are           
hyp]-s5sitive1 said ,i4 ,mrs4 ,wylie is 
q sure t y made a mi/ake4 ,%e c =give y 
= t1 b ! ?+ t %e w f9d x h>d to =give is
 ! fact t y did n pay special att5tion  
to h] lett]1 s5d x by regi/]$ po/ z x 74
 ,no "o :o kn[s me w\ld accuse me (     
self-depreciation1 b ,i tell y1         
,macdonald1 e villag] d[n !re has m     
self-appreciation 9 8 little f+] ?an ,i 
h 9 my :ole body4 ,old ,jake ,baff]s    
nev] _h a ba? 9 8 life1 & he w\ld be    
secretly pr\d ( 8 record if an ur*9 7 to
 %\t at him3 ',g'wa & tak a wa%6' ,yet  
if ! secret>y =got to s5d him a notice (

 ! ,p>i% ,c\ncil ,meet+ ,jake w\ld hate 
! man = all et]nity4  ,:at does x all   
mean8 ask$ ,macdonald4  ,! innate love (
 publicity lies at ! root ( all !       
village hate & n>r[ness4 ,!y sp5d _!    
little lives look+ = tr\ble1 & ! tr\ble 
!y look = specially is a p]sonal slight4
 ,! village is always full ( ?is k9d (  
tr\ble4 ,!y l to h a f+] 9 e pie4 ,y    
don't want !m to run y\r ,s\p ,kit*52 y 
c\ld d x fifty times bett] y\rself4     
,p]haps !y ?9k ,i'd sneak ! ca%1 eh8    
,no6 ,no1 to give !m _! due1 !y don't   
?9k t4 ,y may rob ! ,committee ( all _! 
ca% if y l 7?9k ( ! f9e talk !y w\ld h  
ov] x672 :at y mu/n't d is to rob !m (  
_! publicity4 ,"s ( !m w always hate y  
because y we> a l95 coll> & don't talk  
dialect4 ,also1 y are an incom]4 ,i once
 att5d$ a public meet+ 9 a ,fife        
village4 ,a man /ood up to give 8 op9ion
 ab\t a public matt]1 & !y %\t$ him d[n 
) ! cry3 ',sit doon6 ,ye're an incom]6' 
,! man _h be5 resid5t 9 t village =     
tw5ty-?ree ye>s1 b he _h come f ,=f>%ire

 orig9ally4  ,& ?is is democracy6       
exclaim$ ,macdonald4  ,?is is education1
 said ,i4 ,all ! hi/ory & geography &   
gramm> 9 ! _w won't produce a bett]     
g5]ation 9 ?is village4 ,:at is really  
wrong is n>r[ vision due to lack ( wide 
int]e/4 ,obvi\sly ! village ?9ks ( small
 ?+s1 ?+s t don't c\nt to u4 ,! villag] 
left s*ool at f\rte5 & he nev] _h any   
tra9+ 9 ?9k+4  ,well1 & :at's ! rem$y8  
,rem$y be bl[$6 ,i cri$4 ,come on1 ,i'm 
go+ d[n ) y & ,i'll h x out ) old ,br[n4
                             99       99
       99  ,br[n 0 9 no mood to be      
fri5dly4 ,inde$ he 0 q na/y4 ,he told me
 frankly t our fri5d%ip 0 at an end1 &  
,i felt pa9$ ab\t ! matt]4 ,sudd5ly a   
brilliant inspiration came to me4 ,z ,i 
/ood at ! door ,i turn$ to him %>ply4   
,y've _h y\r say1 ,mr4 ,br[n1 ,i said   
/]nly1 & n[ x's my inn+s4 ,i didn't mean
 to m5tion x1 b y've =c$ me to d x4  ,i 
paus$ to note 8 sudd5 look ( al>m4      
,yes1 ,i w5t on1 ,i want to "k :at !    
devil y meant by say+ t ,i suff]$ f     

swell$ head8  ,:5 did ,i say t8 he      
/amm]$4  ,i %rugg$ my %\ld]s4  ,i refuse
 to give away ! man :o told me1 ,i said 
/iffly4  ,he 0 n[ 9 great excitem5t4 ,he
 wip$ 8 br[ ) 8 h&4  ,graham is a li>6  
he cri$ passionately1 x 0 him t said x  
to me6  ,b y agre$ ) him8 ,i ins9uat$4  
,br[n drew himself up /iffly4  ,well1   
damn y1 ,i did6  ,quits6 ,i cri$1 & ,i  
held out my h&4  ,lat] z we sat toge!r  
ov] a hot :iskey ,i tri$ h>d to p]suade 
him t ,graham _h nev] said a ^w to me2  
,i told him aga9 & aga9 t ,i _h made a  
lucky guess1 & at la/ ,i manag$ to      
p]suade him to believe me4 ,yet someh[  
,i feel t he'll look askance at poor    
,graham ! next "t he meets him4         
99       99       99  ,we 7 ?re%+       
to-day4 ,dur+ ! d9n] int]val ,m>g>et &  
,i *anc$ to meet 9 ! b>n4 ,i ?rew my    
arms r\nd h] & kiss$ h]4 ,a *uckle came 
f ! /raw4 ,i look$ up to f9d ! eyes (   
,jim ,jackson ^u u4  ,aw'll no tell6 he 
cri$1 & ,m>g>et fl$ blu%+ f ! b>n4  ,"r1
 ,jim6 ,we'll tru/ y ) ! secret4 ,m>g>et

 & ,i are 9 love ) ea* o!r4  ,:5 is x to
 be8 he ask$ eag]ly4  ,y are ?9k+ ( !   
w$d+ fea/ ,i presume1 my lad1 :at8  ,he 
did n answ]2 he seem$ to be ?9k+4  ,bob 
,scott has a' ! luck1 he said dolefully2
 :5 he 0 t5 8 mi!r 0 m>ri$1 :5 he 0     
elev5 8 si/] ,bets dee'd1 & syne :5 he 0
 twel 8 fa!r 0 m>ri$4 ,aw've only _h a  
m>riage & a dai?4 ,aw l m>riages bett]  
gyn dai?s2 ye get mair to eat1 & ye d9na
 hae to look solemn4 ,a *ri/59' doesna  
coont2 ye je/ get a wee bit o' cake1 & !
 m9i/] prays4  ,jim1 ,i said sudd5ly1 w 
y be my be/ man8  ,he gap$4  ,w ,aw be  
y]--8 ,he 0 too mu* surpris$ to complete
 ! s5t5ce4  ,yes1 & c>ry ! r+1 ,i said4 
,8 eyes danc$4  ,& kiss ! bridesmaids1  
,i cont9u$4  ,8 face fell4  ,no1 he said
 sl[ly1 ,aw'm ow] "y to be a be/ man4   
,he consid]$ = a :ile4 ,b ,geordie      
,tamson wud kiss !m = a hank o' c&y1 he 
said half al\d4  ,no1 ,i said1 y c't    
delegate y\r p[]s to ano!r 9 a case (   
?is sort4 ,b ( c\rse if y ?9k ,geordie  
w\ld be ! bett] man to sit on ! dickey (

 ! c>riage1 & lead ! bride to ! w$d+    
fea/1 & ?r[ out ! sweeties & p5nies to !
 *ildr51 &--  ,aw'll be y] be/ man6 he  
ro>$4     ,,xii4   ,to-night ,i made up 
my m9d to speak to ,frank ,?omson & 8   
wife4 ,i knew t ,jim w\ld be mis]able z 
long z he c>ri$ s weighty a secret on   
him2 ,i knew t he 0 it*+ to ru% ?r\gh ! 
village %\t+3 ,! ,me/]'s gae9' to be    
m>ri$ to ,maggie ,tamson 444 & ,aw'm to 
be 8 be/ man6  ,i w5t ov] ab\t eight    
o'clock4 ,! *ildr5 7 9 b$1 & ,m>g>et sat
 9 ! kit*5 ) h] fa!r & "m4  ,i want to  
m>ry ,m>g>et1 ,i said :5 ,i ent]$4      
,frank 0 read+ ,! ,p's ,j\rnal4 ,! pap] 
flutt]$ slightly1 & t 0 ! only sign (   
surprise t came f him4  ,yea1 ,me/]8 he 
said sl[ly4 ,man1 d'ye tell me t na8 ,aw
 see t ! ,roosians are mak9' "s progress
 aga94 ,he buri$ 8 head 9 8 pap] aft]   
?r[+ a look to 8 wife4 ,! look cle>ly   
meant3 ,?is is a matt] = y to tak up1   
,lizzie4  ,mrs4 ,?omson laid d[n h]     
knitt+ c>efully2 !n %e rubb$ h] glasses 
) h] apron4 ,%e glanc$ at ,m>g>et1 &    

,m>g>et rose & left ! room quietly4 ,i  
knew t %e left ! door half-clos$ s t %e 
might he> f ! /air-foot4  ,h] "m look$  
at me ov] h] glasses4  ,%e's gey "y1 %e 
said4  ,a ye> old] ?an y 7 :5 y m>ri$1  
,i said ) a smile4  ,%e sat 9 deep ?\ght
 = a long "t4 ,!n %e turn$ to h] husb&4 
,frank1 %e said 9 a matt]-(-fact voice1 
ye'll bett] br+ oot ! :iskey4  ,t 0 all4
 ,nei!r ( !m ask$ a "q ab\t my f9ancial 
position1 or my hopes4 ,mrs4 ,?omson w5t
 to ! door & call$ ,m>g>et's "n1 & :5 %e
 ent]$ ! kit*5 h] "m simply said3       
,maggie1 ye mi*t br+ a few coals l a    
lassie4  ,a /rang] f a =eign l& look+ on
 w\ld h wond]$ at ! unconc]n ( ! :ole   
?+4 ,! family talk$ ab\t ev]y?+ b !     
subject ( ! mom5t1 b ,i knew by ! way 9 
:i* !y made conv]sation t !y 7 /riv+ to 
hide _! real feel+s4  ,:5 ,i rose to    
leave ,i turn$ to ,frank4  ,i don't "k  
:at plans ,i h1 ,i said1 b ! *ances are 
t ,i'll g to live 9 ,london "s day soon4
  ,frank wav$ a prote/+ h&4  ,nev] m9d t
 ee'noo1 he cri$4 ,maggie6444 ye'll     

bett] see ! ,me/] to ! door1 lassie6    
,!y're awfu' pleas$6 :isp]$ ,m>g>et at !
 door4  ,are !y1 ,m>g>et8 ,i said       
t5d]ly4  ,yes6 ,b x isn't because y are 
s clev]1 y "k6  ,r because ,i am s      
h&some8  ,no4 ,!y're pleas$ because y   
are an ,m4,a4  ,!n %e laugh$ at my look 
( *agr94                             99 
99       99  ,?is morn+ ,i met ,jim4    
,jim1 ,i said1 y are free to speak n[4  
,he made no reply2 he sprang ov] a gate 
& flew t[>ds ! village4  ,! girls came  
up 9 a body at f\r o'clock4  ,is't true8
 cri$ ,janet z %e ran up brea?lessly4   
,:at8 ,is :at true8  ,t y & ,maggie are 
to be m>ri$8  ,! answ] is 9 !           
affirmative1 ,i said pomp\sly4  ,janet's
 face fell4  ,eh1 if ,aw _h t ,jim      
,jackson6 ,he telt u t he 0 to be y] be/
 man6  ,he 0 aye a big le]6 cri$ ,ell51 
!n %e saw t ,i 0 smil+4  ,x's true aft] 
a'6 %e cri$4  ,yes1 ,i said1 x's true1  
bairns1 b to my surprise !y ru%$ (f &   
left me4 ,i und]/ood _! action :5 ,i    
turn$ to look2 !y _h se5 ,m>g>et em]ge f

 ! kit*5 door4 ,poor ,m>g>et6 ,! :ole   
cr[d ( !m insi/$ on p9*+ h] arms = luck4
 ,!y seem$ to h =gott5 my exi/5ce2 !n   
sudd5ly !y all came runn+ t[>ds me4     
,let me tell 'im1 ,jan6 ,i he>d ,annie  
cry1 b ,jan tore h]self f re/ra9+ arms &
 0 fir/ to come up4  ,! ,me/]'s gott5 a 
little baby6 cri$ ,janet4  ,janet's     
wrang6 cri$ ,annie2 x's no ! ,me/]3 x's 
8 wife6  ,i tri$ to look my surprise4   
,& did y congratulate him1 ,jan8 ,i     
ask$4  ,janet titt]$4  ,he took an awfu'
 reid face :5 he cam 9 ?is morn9'1 did'n
 he1 ,jean8  ,aye1 & he 0 grumpy a' day4
 ,he 0 ay fr[n9' at a' body4 ,we cudna  
help 8 wife hae9' a bairn6  ,he look$ z 
if he 0 angry at 8 wife hae9' ! bairn1  
said ,b>b>a4  ,i recall$ my conjecture t
 he w\ld try to give ! bairns !         
impression t he _h no?+ :atev] to d ) ! 
affair1 & ,i laugh$ upro>i\sly4  ,i     
sudd5ly realis$ t ,gladys 0 ask+ me a   
"q4  ,eh8 ,:at's t1 ,gladys8  ,i 0      
spe]9' if y & ,maggie are to hae a      
bairn8  ,janet gasp$ & cri$3 ,oh1       

,gladys6 & ,jean cri$3 ,look at ,maggie 
blu%9'6  ,c]ta9ly6 ,i said ) a laugh1 a 
doz5 ( !m1 won't we1 ,m>g>et8  ,bairns  
is j a scunn]1 said ,s>ah4 ,ye'll hae to
 /op y] typewrit] or ye'll wak5 !m4     
,t's awkw>d1 ,s>ah1 ,i said1 = if ,i /op
 my typewrit] ,i'll />ve !m4  ,!        
,me/]'ll hae a big hoose1 said ,jean1 & 
he'll type 8 lett]s 9 ! p>l\r &         
,maggie'll rock ! cradle 9 ! kit*51 w9na
 ye1 ,maggie8  ,p]haps1 ,i sugge/$1 ,jim
 ,jackson w be able to inv5t a pat5t t w
 enable me to rock ! cradle z ,i /rike !
 keys4  ,aye1 said ,janet ) scorn1 &    
kill ! bairn6 ,aw wudna tru/ ,jim       
,jackson wi' ony bairn o' m9e 444 him & 
8 inv5tions6  ,ye'll mak a nice fa!r1   
said ,gladys1 & %e put h] arm r\nd my   
neck4  ,ye'll spoil y] bairns1 said     
,ell54 ,%e turn$ to ,m>g>et4 ,maggie1   
d9na let him tak *airge o' !m1 or he'll 
mak !m cat* m9n[s a' day in/ead o'      
le>n9' _! lessons4  ,g'wa1 ,ell51 cri$  
,s>ah1 !y're no m>ri$ yet6 ,& ye d9na   
get bairns till ye're m>ri$ a gey lang  

"t4  ,"s f[k has !m a=e !y get m>ri$1   
said ,b>b>a ?\ghtfully1 & ,i *uckl$ :5  
,i saw h[ ! o!rs look$ at h]4           
,disapproval 0 writ l>ge on _! faces4   
,ye %udna m5tion sic ?+s a=e ,maggie6   
said ,janet 9 a /age :isp]1 & ,i _h to  
hold my sides4 ,m>g>et c\ld n keep h]   
gravity ei!r1 & %e laugh$ immod]ately4  
,lat] !y plead$ ) me to tell !m :5 !    
w$d+ 0 to take place4 ,i told !m t ,i   
did n "k1 b t x w\ld be soon1 & ,i      
promis$ to invite !m all4  ,b no ,me/]  
,macdonald6 said ,jean4 ,aw wudna feel s
 free wi' him !re4  ,i told !m ( ! wid[]
 ^: fri5ds tri$ to p]suade him to take 8
 "m-9-law ) him 9 ! front fun]al coa*4  
,aft] "s p]suasion he said resign$ly3   
,v]ra weel1 !n2 b x'll spoil my day4 ,!n
 ,i s5t !m home4                        
99       99       99  ,! /ory ,i told ! 
girls set me ?9k+ ( fun]al /ories4 ,i h 
he>d doz5s ( !m1 b ! only o!r "o ,i c   
rememb] is ! "o ab\t ! f>m] ^: wife 0 to
 be buri$4 ,z ! m5 c>ri$ ! c(f9 along ! 
passage !y /umbl$1 & ! c(f9 came into   

viol5t contact ) ! corn]4 ,! lid flew   
(f1 & ! wife sat up & rubb$ h] eyes4 ,%e
 _h be5 9 a trance4  ,tw5ty ye>s lat] ! 
wife di$ aga94 ,! m5 7 c>ry+ ! c(f9     
?r\gh ! passage :5 ! f>m] ru%$ =w>d4    
,canny1 lads6 he cri$1 canny wi' t      
corn]6                             99   
99       99  ,look "h1 said ,macdonald  
to me to-night1 ! ,s*ool ,bo>d election 
is com+ (f soon2 :y don't y /&8  ,i     
?\ght t ,i w\ld be ! la/ man on e>? y   
w\ld want on ! ,s*ool ,bo>d1 ,i repli$4 
,n at all1 he said ) a smile4 ,y & ,i   
diff] ab\t education1 b our diff]5ce    
isn't s great z ! diff]5ce betwe5 me &  
m5 l ,pet] ,mit*ell4  ,i ?\ght to myself
 t ! diff]5ce betwe5 8 idea & m9e 0     
inf9itely great] ?an ! diff]5ce betwe5 8
 idea & ,pet] ,mit*ell's1 b ,i said3    
,x's v dec5t ( y to sugge/ x1 old *ap1 b
 ,i'm n /&+4  ,b :y n8  ,possibly = !   
same reason t ,h4 ,g4 ,wells & ,a4 ,r4  
,orage & ,b]n>d ,%aw & ,g4 ,k4 ,*e/]ton 
don't /& = ,p>liam5t4  ,y place y\rself 
9 good company6 he laugh$4  ,i'm n      

claim+ k9dr$1 ,macdonald2 :at ,i mean to
 sugge/ is t ,i /& to ,pet] ,mit*ell &  
,co4 v mu* 9 ! same relation%ip z ,%aw &
 ,orage /& to ,lloyd ,george & ,co4     
,r\ghly !re are two types ( m9d1 ! ?9k]s
 & ! do]s4 ,orage has bett] ideas ?an   
,lloyd ,george1 b ,i fancy t ,lloyd     
,george is ! bett] man to run a ,m9i/ry 
( ,munitions4 ,i've got bett] ideas ?an 
,pet] ,mit*ell 7,i ?9k y'll grant t71   
yet ,pet] is probably ! bett] man to    
arrange = ! gravell+ ( ! playgr\nd4  ,i 
smok$ = a :ile 9 sil5ce4  ,! be/ m5     
don't ent] public life1 ,i cont9u$4 ,no 
man ) a real passion = ideas c\ld       
tol]ate ! jobb]y & gabble ( ! ,h\se (   
,commons4 ,public life is = ! mo/ "p    
conc]n$ ) small ?+s4 ,! ,cab9et settles 
mighty ?+s l w> & peace1 b if y read    
,hans>d y'll f9d t n9ety-n9e p] c5t4 ( !
 memb]s' spee*es deal ) little ?+s l    
,old ,age ,p5sions or ! work+ ( !       
,insurance ,act4 ,s 9 ! ,s*ool ,bo>d y h
 to deal ) ! incid5tal ?+s4 ,! ,scot*   
,education ,dep>tm5t settles ! broad    

l9es ( education1 & ! local ,s*ool      
,bo>ds simply adm9i/] ! ,education ,act 
( #aijh4 ,:at c\ld ,i d on ! ,bo>d      
anyway8444 arrange = ! clos+ ( ! s*ool  
at ! tattie holidays1 discuss y\r       
application = a rise 9 screw1 grant a   
c]ta9 am\nt ( money = prizes4 ,i c\ldn't
 p]suade ! ,bo>d to conv]t y\r s*ool    
into a ,neo-,montessorian ,play-,g>d52  
if ,i did p]suade !m ! ,dep>tm5t w\ld v 
likely /ep 9 & prote/4 ,besides ,i      
hav5't ! type ( m9d4 ,i hate all !      
=malism ( public meet+s2 ,i _h en\gh ( x
 at ! 'v>sity to la/ me a life "t2 !    
debat+ societies sp5t mo/ ( _! "t read+ 
m9utes & mov+ '! previ\s "q4' ,i'm n a  
practical man1 ,macdonald4 ,9 art ,i l  
pure black & :ite "w1 & ,i ?9k 9 black &
 :ite2 ,i see ! broad effect )\t not+ ! 
detail4 ,detail gives me a heada*e1 & ! 
public man mu/ h some?+ l a passion =   
detail4 ,look at ! ,scot* ,education    
,dep>tm5t2 x is full ( spl5did (ficials 
:o w sp5d a week nos+ out an error ( t5 
att5dances 9 an un=tunate dom9ie's      

regi/]s4 ,t's :at %\ld be2 ! (ficial    
%\ld h ! m9d ( a ready-reckon] 444 r1 he
 mu/ h1 else he w\ld dr[n himself aft] a
 day 9 ,:itehall4  ,macdonald has a     
passion = detail1 & ,i smil$ to note a  
gr[+ look ( aggression on 8 face4       
,somebody's got to d ! detail "w1 he    
gr[l$4  ,mo/ ( x c\ld v well be left    
undone1 ,i sugge/$4 ,y h to calculate   
labori\sly all ! att5dances = ! ye>1 h[ 
_m h left s*ool1 h[ _m are ( su* & su*  
an age1 & s on4 ,:at =8 ,simply to all[ 
! busy (ficials ( ,:itehall to settle   
:at grant %\ld be paid4  ,h[ c\ld !y    
settle x o!rwise8 he ask$4  ,9 fifty    
ways4 ,! obvi\s way is to f9d out h[ mu*
 ! s*ool requires to run x ea* ye>4 ,i  
w\ld g ! l5g? ( aboli%+ ! daily regi/]4 
,y don't call ! roll 9 a c9ema h\se or a
 kirk or a political meet+4 ,:y1 man1 9 
! big s*ools 9 ! cities ! headma/] is a 
junior cl]k2 8 :ole "t is sp5t 9 mak+ up
 /ati/ical returns = ! ,dep>tm5t4  ,y   
c\ldn't get on )\t ! returns1 said      
,macdonald4  ,possibly n at pres5t1 ,i  

said1 see+ t ! sy/em ( grants obta9s1 b 
if an ,education ,guild ( ,tea*]s       
controll$ ! education ( ,scotl& mo/ ( ! 
returns c\ld be scrapp$4 ,all ! returns 
ne$$ = y\r s*ool w\ld be a li/ (        
exp5diture on sal>ies1 books1 etc42 ma9 
headqu>t]s w\ld control ! broad policy &
 pay ! bills4  ,& att5dance w\ldn't     
c\nt8  ,n if ,i _h any say 9 ! matt]4   
,to h an av]age att5dance ( #if p] c5t4 
is ab\t ! l[e/ ideal a dom9ie c aim at4 
,! tea*]s & ! s*ool bo>ds aim at a high 
av]age because ( ! high] grant2 !       
,dep>tm5t1 ) an eye on ,blue ,book      
/ati/ics1 enc\rages !m to aim at a high 
av]age because a high av]age means a    
c\ntry ) ! m9imum ( illit]acy4  ,w\ld y 
aboli% compulsory att5dance8            
,c]ta9ly--s f> z ! *ildr5 are conc]n$4  
,make _! s*ools playgr\nds in/ead (     
prisons1 & y'll h no truancy4 ,b ,i w\ld
 h compulsion = p>5ts4 ,! ,/ate %\ld h !
 p[] to say to p>5ts3 ',y are only !    
gu>dians ( ^! *ildr51 & we c't all[ y to
 keep !m f education to d y\r "w = y4'  

,y ar5't consi/5t1 he said1 "h y are    
advocat+ ,au?ority6  ,macdonald1 ,i said
 we>ily1 y mu/ h au?ority & law ( a k9d4
 ,y mu/ h a law t y take ! left side ( !
 road :5 y are cycl+ = in/ance4 ,y mu/  
give ! community p[] to ov]p[] a man l t
 lunatic :o assault$ ,m>y ,ramsay ! o!r 
day1 & if ! community feels t x mu/     
protect *ildr5 f assaults on _! bodies1 
surely to goodness x mu/ /ep 9 & protect
 little *ildr5 :5 p>5ts try to commit   
assaults on _! s\ls4 ,compulsion %\ld   
/ep 9 to de/roy compulsion4  ,n[1 :at 9 
all ! e>? d y mean by t8  ,a man compels
 8 son to /ay f s*ool2 ! compulsion ( ! 
,/ate ov]rules ! compulsion ( ! fa!r4 ,s
 ) compulsion ( m5 = milit>y purposes2 9
 !ory at lea/ ! ,milit>y ,s]vice ,act   
compels m5 to fight 9 ord] t !y may     
ov]rule ! compulsion t ,g]many is try+  
to =ce on ,europe4 ,! ,fa!rl& & ! fa!r  
are int]f]+ ) human s\ls1 b if a boy    
does n want to g to s*ool he is a free  
ag5t *oos+ z he wills1 & int]f]+ ) ! s\l
 ( no "o4  ,:at ab\t 8 *ildr5 com+ aft] 

him8  ,a good po9t1 ,i cri$2 9 o!r words
 y mean t no man live? unto himself & no
 man die? unto himself1 eh8 ,yes1 t's q 
true1 b we don't "k :at ! boy is to turn
 out4 ,giv5 a home ( com=t & food 444 z 
e boy w\ld h 9 a well-ord]$ community   
444 ,i ?9k t ! lad :o c\ld resi/ !      
attraction ( a play-g>d5 s*ool ) its    
*>ms ( social int]c\rse ) o!r *ildr5    
w\ld be ei!r a lunatic or a g5ius4      
,besides we h giv5 up ! idea 9 o!r      
dep>tm5ts4 ,i expect t ! community is ( 
op9ion t ! tea*+s ( ,*ri/ianity are good
 = a man to h& on to 8 *ildr51 yet ,i   
don't ?9k t ! community w\ld pass a law 
t e p>5t mu/ s5d 8 family to a ,sunday  
,s*ool4 ,! :ole tr5d ( society is to    
recognise & provide = ! consci5ti\s     
objector1 & society %\ld c]ta9ly        
recognise ! consci5ti\s objector to     
s*ool-go+4  ,a boy doesn't "k 8 own m9d4
  ,nei!r d ,i1 ,i sigh$4 ,i c't make up 
my m9d ab\t any?+2 r1 ,i make up my m9d 
to-day & *ange x to-morr[4 ,& ,i don't  
want x to be o!rwise2 :5 my op9ions     

become def9ite & fix$ ,i %all be dead   
spiritually4 ,! boy doesn't "k 8 own    
m9d6 ,well1 h[ ! deuce c ,i claim to    
help him to make x up :5 ,i c't make up 
my own8 ,x's 8 m9d1 n m9e4 ,i don't m9d 
tell+ him :at ,i ?9k ( a subject1 b ,i  
w\ldn't compel him to d a blam$ ?+4  ,y 
h a que] idea ( education1 he said ) a  
dry laugh4  ,macdonald1 ,i said1 ) real 
mode/y1 ,i don't "k t ,i h any idea (   
education4 ,i am simply grop+4 ,i don't 
exactly "k :at ,i want1 b ,i h a pretty 
def9ite notion ( :at ,i don't want 444 &
 t is f9ality4 ,i beg9 to ?9k t :at ,i  
want education to d is to tra9 m5 n to  
make up _! m9ds ab\t any?+4  ,macdonald 
rose to g4  ,matrimony does t1 old *ap1 
he said ) a *uckle1 & y'll soon discov] 
t y won't get ! *ance ( mak+ up y\r m9d 
ev]4     ,,xiii4   ,i fe>$ t ,i 0 los+  
,jim & ,janet & ! o!rs1 b ,i h n lo/ !m4
 ,!y con=m to ,macdonald's reign (      
au?ority :5 !y are 9 s*ool1 b !y d x )  
_! tongues 9 _! *eeks4 ,b only ! select 
few h foll[$ my bann]4 ,jim is ! only   

boy1 & ! only girls are ,janet1 ,jean1  
,ell51 ,annie1 & ,gladys4 ,b>b>a is (   
divid$ allegiance4 ,! o!rs are          
,macdonaldis$4 ,i f9d x a v difficult ?+
 to def9e ,macdonaldisation4 ,possibly  
its mo/ di/+ui%+ *>act]i/ic is :at ,i   
might call a d\r p]tness4 ,! bairns h   
lo/ _! /&>d ( values2 !y don't "k       
limits4 ,i p9*$ ,m>y's *eek :5 ,i met h]
 ?is morn+ on h] way to s*ool1 & %e     
toss$ h] head 9 ! air & look$ at me ) a 
*eeky expression :i* meant3 ,:at d y ?9k
 y're do+8 ,if ,i rag ,eva %e answ]s )  
braz5 impud5ce4 ,i h giv5 up speak+     
faceti\sly to ! boys1 = !y also 7       
impud5t4 ,!y 7 n l t :5 ,i _h !m2 ,i    
c\ld play ) !m1 joke ) !m1 rag !m & !y  
took x all ) ! be/ good hum\r2 !y teas$ 
me & play$ jokes on me1 b !y did x 9 !  
"r _s4  ,i h se5 x aga9 & aga94 ,/rict  
discipl9e de/roys a *ild's values ( good
 ta/e & bad ta/e4 ,naturally :5 fre$om  
is d5i$ !m !y d n "k :at fre$om means4  
,! atrocities committ$ by !             
sup]-discipl9$ ,g]man army are q        

und]/&able to me2 l ,macdonaldis$ bairns
 !y did n und]/& ! fre$om !y sudd5ly    
f\nd !mselves enjoy+1 & !y conv]t$ x    
into lic5ce4 ,i c tell ! "* ( a village 
dom9ie :5 ,i /op to ask a gr\p ( boys ! 
way to ! next village :5 ,i am cycl+4   
,jimmy ,"y sl\*es pa/ me n[ ) a />e (   
ho/ility1 & x isn't six mon?s ago s9ce  
he came runn+ to me on ! road "o night =
 protection f ! policeman :o 0 aft] him 
= /eal+ a turnip f ,pet] ,mit*ell's     
field4 ,! policeman came up & 9 a l\d   
voice accus$ ! laddie1 :ile at ! same "t
 he ?rew 9 a h9t or two t my lax        
discipl9e _h some?+ to d ) ! case4  ,if 
!y got a little mair o' ! lea!r1 ?+s wud
 be diff]5t1 he gr[l$4  ,i d n l        
policem52 _! little brief au?ority      
someh[ manages to get my back up4       
,:at's ! r[8 ,i ask$ mildly4  ,?is "y   
devil has be5 /eal9' neeps1 he ro>$1 &  
,mit*ell's gae9' to mak a pollis c\rt   
case o't4  ,i said no?+2 ,i took ,jimmy 
by ! arm & walk$ t[>ds ! gate (         
,mit*ell's field4 ,i vault$ x &         

delib]ately pull$ up a turnip & peel$ x 
& ate x1 :ile ! con/able /ood writ+ d[n 
notes volum9\sly4  ,und]/&1 ,i said to  
him1 t ,i am n prim>ily enc\rag+ ,jimmy 
to /eal turnips2 my "o aim is to appe> 9
 ! police c\rt ) him if he is *>g$4 ,i  
w\ld r a ?\s& times be ) him 9 ! dock   
?an ) y & y\r f>m] 9 ! witness-box4     
,pet] ,mit*ell did n prosecute4  ,9 ^!  
days ,jimmy realis$ t he & ,i 7 fri5ds2 
we und]/ood ea* o!r4 ,n[ he does n ?9k (
 try+ to und]/& me2 ,i am an ex-dom9ie1 
& t's en\gh = him4 ,macdonald is ! real 
dom9ie2 ,jimmy mu/ be circumspect :5 he 
is ab\t else !re w be ructions4 ,i don't
 c\nt3 ,i h no au?ority4 ,i %\ld l to   
he> ,macdonald's rem>ks to ,jimmy if !  
con/able came to ! s*ool to tell ( "o ( 
! laddie's escapades4  ,i h lo/ ,jimmy &
 a hundr$ o!rs1 b ,i ?ank heav5 = !     
bairns left to me4 ,!y come up ne>ly e  
night1 & !y sp5d ,saturdays & ,sundays )
 me4  ,la/ ,saturday ,macdonald came    
into ! field :]e we 7 play+4 ,janet & ! 
o!r girls froze at once2 all ! fun w5t  

out ( !m1 & !y look$ at him timidly4 ,he
 tri$ to %[ t he also c\ld be playful & 
he tri$ to romp ) !m = a :ile4 ,! romp  
wasn't a success2 !y 7 act+ all ! "t1 & 
:5 a girl tigg$ him %e did s ) a        
woefully apologetic air z if %e w\ld    
say3 ,excuse my t\*+ y1 sir1 b x's only 
a game1 y "k4 ,i'll take c>e n to       
presume :5 we meet on ,monday morn+4    
,luckily he did n /ay long1 & ! girls   
resum$ _! attempt to tie my legs toge!r 
) grass ropes1 _! motive be+ to /uff my 
m\? ) brambles4 ,i invit$ !m d[n to !   
bo?y = tea1 & !y ru%$ (f to lay ! table4
  ,& we'll look into a' y] draw]s &     
places1 cri$ ,jean1 & read a' y]        
love-lett]s4  ,if y c\ld read ,i believe
 y w\ld read !m1 ,i %\t$ aft] h]4  ,eh6 
,:at an insult6 %e cri$4 ,aw'll j g     
/rau*t doon to ,maggie & tell h] no to  
hae ye6  ,aft] tea ,gladys sudd5ly said3
 ,come on1 we'll play at s*ules1 eh8 ,! 
idea 0 hail$ ) delight1 & ,annie        
requisition$ ! s]vices ( my new braces =
 a /rap1 & rang$ u r\nd ! fire4  ,n[1 %e

 said1 ?is is playtime & y are all      
outside1 & :5 ,i bl[ ! :i/le y'll all   
come 94  ,blaw y] bugle1 said ,jean1 j  
to mak x l x 0 :5 ye 7 at ! s*ule4 ,s ,i
 play$ ! ,fall ,9 & w5t out to play4 ,i 
came 9 late4  ,:y are y late8 dem&$     
,annie4  ,i look$ r\nd ! room vacantly4 
,yes6 ,i said ) a nod ( enlight5m5t4  ,!
 girls giggl$1 & ,annie _h to bite h]   
lip to keep f laugh+4  ,:]e h y be51    
sir8  ,oh1 no6 ,i cri$1 at lea/ ,i don't
 ?9k s6  ,annie _h to sit d[n & laugh4  
,t's no fair1 %e said1 !re %ud be nae   
funn9' 9 ! s*ule4  ,i sat d[n on ! f5d] 
& pull$ a face t ,alfr$ ,le/] might h   
envi$4 ,annie w5t into fits ( laught]4  
,tell ye :at1 ,annie1 said ,ell51 we'll 
put ! ,me/] oot1 & we'll play oorsells1 
& ,i 0 dismiss$ ! s*ool4 ,aft]          
delib]ation !y agre$ to all[ me to be an
 inspector provid$ ,i did n say any?+4  
,:5 bairns play s*ool !y always put on !
 f9e ,engli%4 ,! tea*]'s ma9 duty is to 
call err+ pupils out & puni% !m4  ,n[1  
,ell5 ,smi?1 :at is two & two8  ,f\r4   

,v good4 ,n[ we'll h an object lesson4  
,:at animal d we get milk f1 ,janet8  ,!
 c[4  ,v good4 ,n[ we'll h "s geography4
 ,:]e is ! t[n (--8  ,give u spell9'    
in/ead1 cri$ ,gladys4  ,come out1 girl6 
& ,gladys 0 puni%$ sev]ely4 ,!n ,jean 0 
puni%$ = laugh+4  ,x's my *ance o' be9' 
tea*] noo1 cri$ ,ell5 & ,janet at ! same
 "t1 & a treble scuffle = ! /rap foll[$4
 ,janet got x4  ,n[1 %e began1 ,i'll be 
,mi/] ,macdonald4 ,put y] h&s beh9d y]  
backs1 & ! fir/ "o t moves w he> ab\t x6
 ,!y sat up l /atues4  ,n[1 ,jean       
,broon1 y /& up & recite ! ,elegy       
,writt5 9 a ,c\ntry ,*ur*y>d6 ,& ,jean  
/ood up & recit$ ! fir/ v]se            
dramatically4  ,t'll d4 ,sit d[n4 ,ell5 
,smi?1 ,i want y to say ! fir/ v]se (   
,wordswor?'s ,ode to ! ,imitations (    
,immorality4  ,p-,please1 sir1 titt]$   
,gladys1 ! inspector's laugh9' l ony?+6 
,i laugh$ immod]ately1 b x wasn't at    
,janet's malapropism t ,i laugh$ s mu*4 
,i ?\ght ( ,mrs4 ,wilks1 ! *>woman1 :o  
look$ aft] ! flat ano!r man & ,i %>$ 9  

,croydon4 ,"o morn+ %e did n arrive to  
make ! breakfa/1 & ,i w5t out to look = 
h]4 ,i f\nd ! old woman--%e 0           
sixty-?ree--/&+ at ! foot ( ! /airs     
weep+4  ,great ,scot6 ,i cri$1 :at's !  
matt]8  ,my 'usb& a9't go9' to all[ me  
to *> = y "y g5tlem5 aga94  ,:at =8 ,i  
ask$ 9 amazem5t4  ,he 444 he accuses me 
( 'av9' immortal relations wiv y1 %e    
sobb$4  ,i ha/5 to add t h] relations ) 
u 7 n immortal3 we sack$ h] a week lat] 
= p9*+ ! cream4  ,sorry1 ,janet1 ,i said
 at l5g?1 proce$ ) y\r ,imitations (    
,immorality1 al?\gh p]sonally ,i don't  
see ! ne$ = !m2 ! real ?+'s good en\gh =
 me4  ,n[1 %e said1 ,i'll be ,mi/]      
,neill n[4  ,annie at once began to s+  
,tipp]>y2 ,ell5 began to pull ,gladys's 
hair2 ,jean pret5d$ t %e 0 bit+ a huge  
apple 444 & ! tea*] ,janet took a       
cig>ette f ! box on ! table & lit x4  ,y
 gross libell]s6 ,i cri$1 & ,i *as$ !m  
out ( ! bo?y4                           
99       99       99  ,to-night ,i _h a 
long walk ) ,m>g>et4 ,i tri$ to make h] 

talk1 = ,i want s mu* to "k h] views on 
?+s4  ,y talk1 %e said2 ,i l to li/54   
,b1 ,i prote/$1 ,i'm always talk+ to y1 
& y li/5 all ! "t4 ,i want to "k :at is 
9 t wee head ( y\rs 444 al?\gh ,i       
suppose t ,i ought to be satisfi$ ) its 
ext]ior4  ,y see1 %e said sl[ly &       
some:at sadly1 ,i am n clev]2 ,i am only
 an ord9>y f>m]'s daught] work+ 9 !     
dairy & ! fields4 ,if ,i told y :at ,i 0
 ?9k+ y w\ld n be int]e/$4  ,we walk$ _m
 y>ds 9 sil5ce4  ,x is all a mi/ake6 %e 
sudd5ly bur/ out passionately4 ,i am n  
good en\gh = y1 & :5 my bonny face is   
gone y w hate me4 ,we h no?+ 9 common1 &
 if y met me 9 ,london y w\ldn't be     
int]e/$ 9 me at all4 ,y w br+ clev] wom5
 to ! h\se & ,i--,i w sit 9 a corn] &   
say no?+1 = ,i won't und]/& ! ?+s t y   
talk ab\t4 ,i am afraid to g to ,london 
) y4  ,we'll /ay "h !n1 ,i said quietly4
  ,no6 %e cri$1 n t6 ,i w /ay "h1 b y   
mu/ g to y\r "w & y\r clev] fri5ds4 ,o6 
x's all be5 a mi/ake6 ,%e sat d[n on a  
fall5 tree & wept sil5tly4 ,i sat d[n   

beside h] & plac$ my arm r\nd h] %\ld]s4
  ,m>g>et1 ,i said s(tly1 we'll h a s\l 
to s\l talk ab\t x4 ,i'll tell y v v    
frankly :at ,i ?9k ab\t ! :ole matt]1 & 
,i'll try to deceive nei!r y nor myself4
  ,intellectually y are n a s\l-mate to 
me4 ,t c't be possible see+ t y h nev]  
_h ! *ance to develop y\r intellect4 ,i 
"k girls ^: intellect is brilliant & ^: 
s5se ( hum\r is delici\s 444 b ,i don't 
love !m4 ,i l !m2 ,i love a witty       
conv]sation ) !m1 b 444 ,i don't want to
 t\* !m4 ,! t\* ( y\r h& s5ds a ?rill   
?r\gh me1 & !re is no o!r h& 9 ! _w t c 
d t4 ,i want to c>ess y1 to hug y1 to   
kiss y\r lips1 to kiss y\r lovely neck4 
,m>g>et1 ,i want y 444 & y are n my     
s\l-mate4 ,m>g>et1 ,i mu/ h y4  ,y see1 
de>1 love is a ?+ t _c be reason$ )4 ,i 
once wrote d[n on pap] a li/ ( !        
qualities ,i want$ 9 ! woman :o %\ld be 
my wife4 ,%e 0 to h blue eyes1 a        
,grecian nose1 auburn hair2 %e 0 to be  
tall & imp]i\s2 %e 0 to be a f9e piani/4
 ,de>1 y\r eyes are grey2 y\r nose isn't

 ,grecian2 y ar5't tall1 & y\r limit z a
 piani/ is ,i'm a ,little ,pilgrim play$
 ) "o f+]4 ,y're hopeless1 madam1 b1 da%
 x all6444 ,i'll buy an auto-piano6     
,accord+ to all ! rules ,i oughtn't to  
f9d any int]e/ 9 y at all4 ,d y "k t    
popul> song ,y ,made ,me ,love ,y8 ,t's 
! only popul> song ,i ev] /ruck t has   
any philosophy 9 x4 ,x has m real pa?os 
9 x ?an ,! ,ros>y & ,to/i's ,goodbye    
roll$ into "o4  ',y made me love y2 ,i  
didn't want to d x1' 444 ,m>g>et1 t's ! 
true /ory ( love4 ,love is bl9d !y say1 
b ! tru? is t love is mad4 ,i didn't    
want to love y2 my m9d kept tell+ me t y
 7 n ! "r woman 444 & "h ,i sit 9       
p>adise because y\r head is on my %\ld]4
 ,! :ole ?+'s absurd & irrational4 ,i   
almo/ believe t !re is a real ,cupid :o 
fires 8 arr[s broadca/2 ( c\rse ! little
 fell[ is bl9d & he hits ! wrong p4  ,i 
turn$ h] face t[>ds m9e4  ,m>g>et1 d y  
love me8  ,i love y1 %e :isp]$ & %e     
ne/l$ m closely into my %\ld]4  ,& ,i   
love y1 ,i repli$1 & kiss$ h] br[4 ,x   

may be all a mi/ake1 d>l+1 b y & ,i are 
go+ to be man & wife4  ,anyway1 ,i add$1
 we h no illusions ab\t x4 ,we've look$ 
at ! ?+ frankly & op5ly4 ,we are bl9d1 b
 we are go+ into x ) our eyes op54  ,y  
are gett+ silly aga91 laugh$ ,m>g>et1 & 
we =got all our d\bts & fe>s1 & became  
two *ildr5 play+ ) ! toy we call love4  
99       99       99  ,m>g>et came to me
 to-night4  ,mr4 ,macdonald's ev5+ s*ool
 op5s to-night4 ,d y ?9k ,i %\ld jo9 x8 
,:y %\ld y8 ,i ask$4  ,oh1 ,i h no      
education1 & ,i want to le>n ?+s4       
,well1 ,i said consid]+ly1 y'll le>n ?+s
 all "r d[n !re4 ,y'll le>n h[ to       
measure a field1 & h[ to analyse a      
s5t5ce2 y'll le>n a few ?+s ab\t ! ,/u>t
 k+s1 & a few ?+s ab\t ! ,briti%        
colonies4 ,b1 my de>1 d y specially want
 to le>n ?+s l t8  ,i don't "k :at ?+s  
,i want to le>n1 %e said sadly4 ,i ?9k  
,i want to "k ab\t ! ?+s y us$ to speak 
ab\t at y\r ev5+ s*ool4 ,?+s t ,i don't 
agree ) :5 y say !m4  ,%e laugh$ %ortly4
  ,y "k1 %e cont9u$1 y us$ to make me   

angry sometimes4 ,:5 y said t y didn't  
object to girls smok+ ,i 0 wild ) y4 ,& 
,i rememb] h[ %ock$ ,i 0 :5 y said t    
swe>+ navvies 7 no worse ?an we 74 ,:5 y
 said t ! text ',*ildr51 obey y\r p>5ts'
 gave bad advice ,i ne>ly got up & left 
! room4  ,i expect t ,i 0 a sort (      
bomb%ell1 ,i laugh$4  ,y made me ?9k    
ab\t ?+s t ,i _h nev] ?\ght ab\t be=e4  
,t 0 :at ,i 0 paid =1 ,m>g>et2 ,i 0     
educat+ y4  ,:at is education8 %e ask$4 
,education is ?9k+1 ,m>g>et4 ,mo/ p take
 ?+s = grant$2 !y won't face tru?4 ,y   
don't l y\r si/] ,edi?2 %e is catty &   
jeal\s4 ,b y won't confess to y\rself t 
y dislike ,edi?4 ,all y\r tra9+ tells y 
t bro!rly love is ! accept$ ?+1 & if y  
confess$ to y\rself t y are fond] (     
,jean ,mackay ?an y are ( ,edi?1 y w\ld 
?9k y\rself a s9n] ( ! wor/ type4 ,if y 
want to be educat$ y mu/ be ready to "q 
ev]y?+2 y mu/ d\bt ev]y?+4 ,y mu/ be v  
*>y ( mak+ up y\r m9d4 ,d y believe 9   
gho/s8 ,i ask$ sudd5ly4  ,( c\rse n6 %e 
said ) a smile4 ,d y8  ,i don't "k1 ,i  

answ]$4 ,lots ( p claim to h se5 !m1 & =
 t reason ,i leave ! "q op54 ,!re may n 
be gho/s1 b ,i don't "k en\gh ab\t !    
subject to d5y t !y exi/4 ,i am q ready 
to believe y if y tell me t y saw a gho/
 9 ! gran>y4 ,i ask$ ! "q j to use x z  
an illu/ration4 ,popul> op9ion laughs at
 ! idea ( a gho/1 b ! ?9k+ p]son won't  
accept ! conv5tional view4 ,keep an op5 
m9d1 ,m>g>et1 & believe :5 y are        
conv9c$4  ,education nev] /ops2 we are  
be+ educat$ e day ( our lives4 ,:y1 only
 ye/]day1 ,i 0 up 9 ! top field1 & ,i   
he>d a great squeal+4 ,i hurri$ to !    
place & 0 j 9 "t to rescue a t9y rabbit 
f a weasel4 ,i _h se5 a weasel kill a   
rabbit _m a "t be=e t1 & ,i _h nev]     
?\ght any?+ ab\t x4 ,b ye/]day a sudd5  
?\ght came to me4 ,i rememb]$ ! words   
',god is good1' & ,i began to ?9k ab\t  
!m4 ,!n ,i sudd5ly said to myself t !   
words 7 n true4 ,! _w is full ( pa9 &   
t]ror2 ! great law ( nature is3 ,eat or 
be eat54 ,i realis$ = ! fir/ "t t e     
h$g][ is a horrid d5 ( suff]+ & fe>4    

,cruelty is ,nature's "n1 ,m>g>et4  ,b1 
%e cri$ 9 p]plexity1 isn't !re mu* good 
9 ! _w too8  ,yes1 de>1 !re is mu* good 
9 ! _w1 b cruelty is mu* m p[]ful4 ,y & 
,i are cruel un?9k+ly4 ,we kill wasps   
be=e !y /+ u2 we ar5't good en\gh to    
give ! poor brutes ! b5efit ( ! d\bt4   
,y\r fa!r is a v k9d-he>t$ man1 yet he  
nev] once ?9ks ( ! cruelty he p]petrates
 :5 he re>s %eep & cattle & lambs = !   
but*]'s knife4 ,y & ,i d9$ on roa/ lamb 
(t5 ?is summ]1 & we nev] ?\ght ( ! poor 
wee creature's agony :5 ! but*] cut its 
?roat4 ,y\r "m is k9d1 yet %e w kill a  
m\se )\t a ?\ght1 & ! m\se is to me !   
bonnie/ creature t lives4 ,its great big
 glori\s eyes fasc9ate me4 ,?9k ( !     
k9dly p :o *ase a poor half-/>v$ fox )  
h\nds & horses2 sport is ! cruelle/ ?+ 9
 ! _w4 ,%oot+1 fi%+1 hunt+ 444 m5 are z 
cruel & z devili% z ! tig] or ! hawk1   
,m>g>et4  ,animals maybe don't feel !   
same z we d1 %e said4  ,don't y lay t   
flatt]+ unction to y\r s\l1 ,i cri$4 ,i 
us$ to believe t com=t+ tale ( ! sci5ti/

 t ! l[] animals d n feel4 ,i ceas$ to  
believe x :5 ,i tri$ to put a worm on a 
fi%-hook4 ,:5 ,i saw x wriggle ab\t ,i  
said to myself3 ',?is is pa91 or r x is 
agony4' ,?9k ( ! pa9 t y\r m>es & c[s   
suff] :5 !y are hav+ _! "y4 ,y & ,i he>d
 ! screams ( ,polly :5 t dead foal 0    
born ?is ye>4  ,:5 y ?9k ( x1 ,m>g>et1  
man's *ief end is n to glorify ,god z ! 
,cate*ism says2 8 *ief end is to        
elim9ate pa9 444 human pa94 ,y h he>d ( 
vivisection8 ,p]=m+ op]ations on        
animals1 (t5 )\t *lor(orm4 ,:at's x all 
=8 ,n cruelty1 z ,b]n>d ,%aw sugge/s2   
x's all done ) ! k9dly purpose ( f9d+   
out new ways to aboli% human pa94       
,rabbits & gu9ea-pigs are dos$ ) all    
sorts ( microbes s t sci5ti/s might     
discov] h[ to protect human be+s f ! pa9
 ( disease4 ,! doctors sometimes d      
manage to discov] a new way to aboli% a 
c]ta9 pa91 & ! pa!tic ?+ is t :ile !y   
torture animals to f9d a way to aboli%  
pa9 a ?\s& sci5ti/s are busily engag$   
inv5t+ weapons t w br+ m pa9 into ! _w4 

,x is an al>m+ ?\ght t our doctors &    
nurses sp5d _! lives try+ to keep !     
unfit alive1 :ile our armam5t mak]s sp5d
 _! lives plann+ means to s5d ! fit to  
_! dea?4 ,lots ( p h said t ?is w> %[s !
 failure ( ,*ri/ianity2 :at x really %[s
 is ! failure ( ,m$ic9e4 ,m$ic9e's      
prim>y aim is to keep p alive z long z  
possible2 ,w>'s prim>y aim is to kill z 
_m p z possible4 ,w> is really a battle 
betwe5 two bran*es ( sci5ce1 betwe5     
%ells & s5na4 ,! %ell sci5ti/ won 444 & 
! m$ic9e man buckl$ on a ,sam ,br[ne    
belt & w5t out to help 8 rival's        
victims4 ,if ! doctors ( ! _w _h realis$
 t w> 0 a defeat ( _! pr9ciples !y w\ld 
h gone on /rike1 & w\ld no d\bt h /opp$ 
! w> by do+ s4 ,e doctor %\ld be a      
pacifi/1 b z a matt] ( fact v few       
doctors are pacifi/s4  ,:at is a        
pacifi/8 ask$ ,m>g>et4  ,a pacifi/ is a 
man :o loves peace s mu* t p look up    
almanacs to see :e!r 8 "n 0 ,s*midt a   
g5]ation back1 ,m>g>et4 ,he is usually a
 n]v\s man ) ! physical c\rage ( a h51 b

 he has m moral c\rage ?an ?ree army    
corps4 ,he is usually a ,consci5ti\s    
,objector1 & x takes ! moral c\rage ( a 
god to be t4  ,!y are j a lot ( c[>ds6  
cri$ ,m>g>et ) indignation4  ,no1 ,i    
said1 ,i c't agree ) y4 ,no c[>d w face 
! scorn ( wom5 & ! contempt ( m5 z ^! m5
 d4 ,?9k ( ! life t lies 9 front ( a    
,consci5ti\s ,objector4 ,nobody w ev]   
und]/& him2 he w be an outca/ = ev]4    
,de>1 x takes /up5d\s c\rage to put     
y\rself 9 t position1 & ,i c't ?9k t any
 man c\ld d x unless he 7 foll[+        
pr9ciples t 7 de>] to him ?an ! judgm5t 
( 8 fell[ m54 ,y see1 ,m>g>et1 ord9>y   
c\rage & moral c\rage are totally       
diff]5t ?+s4 ,i "k a man :o won ! ,v4,c4
 = a v brave de$1 & t *ap w\ldn't we> a 
made-up tie = all ! decorations 9 ! _w2 
he w\ldn't h ! moral c\rage to be se5   
walk+ d[n ! /reet ) a ,b5gali4 ,! m     
imag9ation y h ! high] is y\r moral     
c\rage1 b imag9ation is fatal to        
physical c\rage4 ,moral c\rage belongs  
to ! ?9k]2 physical c\rage to ! do]4 ,& 

,i c't help ?9k+ t moral c\rage goes )  
unheal?9ess4 ,i am q sure t physical    
c\rage is prim>ily dep5d5t on physical  
heal?4 ,if my liv] is out ( ord] ,i     
tremble to op5 a lett]2 ,i c't walk t5  
y>ds 9 ! d>k2 & ! arrival ( a telegram  
w\ld give me a fa9t+ fit4 ,n]ves are    
always unheal?y1 & z ?9k]s are always   
highly /rung p ,i conclude t ?9k+ is    
unheal?y4 ,?9k]s are mad1 ,m>g>et1 mad z
 hatt]s4  ,mad6  ,yes4 ,! lunatic is    
m]ely ! man ^: bra9 is diff]5t f ! bra9 
( ! av]age man4 ,! av]age man does n    
imag9e himself to be ,jesus ,*ri/1 & :5 
a man does imag9e himself to be ,*ri/ we
 say t he is mad1 & we %ut him up4 ,he  
may be a ,*ri/ = all we "k4 ,i don't "k 
:y ! community didn't %ut up ,%aw :5 he 
fir/ prea*$ t ob$i5ce 0 "o ( ! ,sev5    
,deadly ,virtues4 ,! av]age man didn't  
agree ) him1 & we c say t ,%aw is !re=e 
mad4 ,y see1 de>1 man is fir/ly an      
animal2 ,joe ,smi? ! but*] d[n 9 !      
village is an animal1 a f9e heal?y      
animal4 ,he is primitive man1 & ?9k+ is 

! la/ ?+ he c\ld attempt4 ,?9k+ is an   
acquir$ *>act]i/ic2 x isn't a natural   
?+1 & any?+ unnatural is diseas$4 ,a    
?9k] is z mu* a freak z a man born ) two
 heads4 ,& t's :y ,i say t ?9k]s are    
unheal?y4 ,blake ! great poet 0 mad2    
,ibs5 ! great ,norwegian dramati/ di$ 9 
! mad-h\se2 ,%elley 0 diseas$2 ,milton 0
 bl9d1 ,keats a consumptive2 ne>ly e    
great compos] ( music :o ev] liv$ 0 mad4
  ,b1 laugh$ ,m>g>et1 y said t education
 0 ?9k+1 & n[ y say t ?9k]s are all mad4
  ,yes1 b madness is :at ! _w ne$s4 ,all
 ^! villag]s d[n !re are absolutely     
sane1 b ! _w won't be a scrap ! bett] = 
_! exi/5ce4 ,i pref] a _w ( ,%elleys &  
,ibs5s to a _w ( ,jack ,johnsons & ,s&[s
 444 & ,joe ,smi?s4 ,a great ,g]man     
philosoph] call$ ,nietzs*e prea*$ !     
gospel ( ,sup]man4 ,he want$ a f9e race 
( p[]ful m5 :o w\ld rule ! _w4 ,"s p say
 t ,napoleon & ,cs> & ,cromwell 7       
,sup]m51 b ! real ,sup]m5 7 m5 l ,*ri/ &
 ,ibs5 & ,d>w9 & ,%elley2 a fight] is a 
nobody1 b a man ) a message is a        

,sup]man4  ,i don't und]/&1 said ,m>g>et
 dully2 :at d y mean by hav+ a message8 
,a mess5g] is a man :o =ces p to consid]
 ?+s t !y w\ldn't consid] )\t be+       
prompt$4 ,*ri/'s message 0 love2 ,he    
enc\rag$ m5 to act accord+ to ! good t 0
 9 !m2 ! k9dl9ess1 ! *>ity1 ! love4 ,& !
 fact t %oot+ & hunt+ & lamb eat+ /ill  
p]si/ %[s t we pay b little att5tion to 
,*ri/'s message4 ,%elley's message 0    
fre$om1 fre$om to ?9k & to live "o's own
 life4 ,y'll f9d t !re are only ! two   
k9ds ( message 444 love & fre$om4  ,!   
evangeli/s :o 7 hold+ meet+s 9 ! s*ool  
la/ w9t] us$ to speak ab\t _! 'message1'
 said ,m>g>et4 ,w\ld y say t !y 7       
,sup]m58  ,!y 7 ,sup]wom51 ,i said      
ha/ily4 ,!y dep5d$ on emotionalism4 ,!y 
said no?+ new1 & !y w\ld refuse to      
consid] any?+ new if y ask$ !m to4 ,!y  
_h no p[] to ?9k2 !y quot$ all ! "t4    
,consequ5tly _! message evaporat$2 :5 ! 
magnetism ( _! appeal w5t away ! conv]ts
 laps$ into _! old s9ful ways4 ,!y      
didn't und]/& ! message !y tri$ to      

deliv]2 !y _h nev] really ?\ght out     
,*ri/'s philosophy4 ,!y _h got hold ( a 
cat* phrase or two1 & !y kept %\t+3     
',?\gh y\r s9s be z sc>let !y %all be   
made :it] ?an sn[4' ,b ,i am q sure t !y
 did n "k :at !y meant by s94 ,*ri/'s   
*ief message 03 ',love "o ano!r1' b !y  
made x out to be3 ',love y\rself s well 
t y may cry = salvation f ! wra? to     
come4'  ,m>g>et look$ at ! clock on my  
mantelpiece4  ,o6 %e cri$1 x's eight    
o'clock 444 & ! class began at sev56 ,i 
c't g n[4  ,at ! door %e paus$ = a      
mom5t2 !n %e came back sl[ly4  ,i won't 
att5d 8 class1 %e said ?\ghtfully2 ,i   
?9k ,i'll j come ov] to see y e night1 &
 y'll talk to me & educate me4  ,well1  
,i smil$1 ,i w give y a wid] education  
?an ,macdonald c give y4 ,= example 444 
?is6  ,i c\ld get any am\nt ( tea*+ 9   
kiss+1 %e titt]$4  ,possibly1 d>l+ 444 b
 !re is no tea*] h]eab\ts ) my k &      
exp]i5ce ( ! art4  ,y horrid pig6 %e    
laugh$1 & %e pull$ my hair4     ,,xiv4  
,janet & ,annie came up to me to-night4 

,hullo6 ,i cri$1 :at's become ( ,ell5 & 
,gladys & ,jean8  ,we're no speak9' to  
!m1 said ,annie l(tily4  ,*eeky ?+s6    
said ,janet ) scorn4  ,i became int]e/$ 
at once4  ,rivals 9 a love affair8 ,i   
ask$4  ,!y sniff$1 & ignor$ ! qu]y4  ,x 
0 ,jean1 said ,annie bitt]ly4 ,%e w5t & 
telt ! ,me/] t ,aw spoke :5 he 0 oot o' 
! room4  ,aye1 said ,janet1 %e put doon 
my "n tae4 ,wait er ,i get h] at hame ! 
ni*t6  ,i und]/ood4 ,macdonald evid5tly 
fav\rs ! obnoxi\s practice ( sett+ a    
bairn to spy on ! o!rs 444 a silly ?+ to
 d4  ,aye1 w5t on ,annie1 & %e call$ u  
navvies' lasses6  ,& y repli$8  ,aw telt
 h] to g'wa hame & d>n ! hole 9 h]      
/ock9'4 ',aye1' ,aw said1 '& ye c wa% y]
 neck at ! same "t1 ,jean ,broon6'  ,b1 
,i said1 ,jean nev] has a dirty neck1   
,annie4  ,weel1 :at did %e say t ,aw 0 a
 navvy's lass = !n8 %e dem&$            
indignantly4  ,i'm afraid t %e has se5 y
 speak+ to navvies1 ,annie4  ,annie     
became excit$4 ,%e clut*$ ,janet by !   
sleeve4  ,eh6 ,:at an insult6 %e cri$4  

,janet ,broon1 div ,aw speak to navvies8
  ,nev] 9 a' y] life1 said ,janet       
firmly1 nev] wance 444 unless yon day t 
! twa o' !m spe]$ at ye ! wye to ! huts4
  ,b ,aw didna answ]1 said ,annie       
quickly2 ,aw j po9t$4  ,are y sure8 ,i  
ask$4  ,sure z dai?1 %e decl>$ solemnly1
 & %e cut h] brea?4 ,aw maybe wud ha'   
spok51 %e admitt$1 b ,aw _h a muckle    
lump o' jaw-/ick9' t(fee 9 my moo?1 &   
,aw cudna speak suppos9' ,aw _h want$   
to4  ,po9t+ 0 z bad z speak+1 ,i said4  
,if x 01 said ,annie t5sely1 ,jean nev] 
wa%es h] neck4 ,s !re6  ,!y dep>t$1 & 9 
half-an-h\r ! enemy came up4 ,!y sat 9 !
 bo?y 9 sil5ce = a "t4  ,well1 ,i said  
*e]ily1 :at's ! news to-night8  ,we're  
fe*t9'1 said ,gladys1 fe*t9' wi' ,annie 
& ,janet4  ,:at's x all ab\t1 eh8  ,!   
,me/] g> me write doon ! names o' !m t 0
 speak9'1 blurt$ out ,jean1 & ,aw put   
doon _! names4  ,yes1 *im$ 9 ,ell51 &   
syne !y ca'ed ,jean a tramp1 & said t ! 
,me/] gae h] ! job o' writ9' doon !     
names cos %e 0 sic a bad writ] & ne$$   

practice4  ,aye1 said ,gladys1 & !y telt
 me my mi!r got my p9k frock dy$ black  
:5 my fai!r de$4  ,& x wasna h] p9k     
frock1 cri$ ,ell52 x 0 h] gre5 ane4     
,?is is al>m+1 ,i said ) conc]n4 ,b tell
 me1 ,jean1 did y say any?+ to !m8  ,aw 
nev] said a ^w6  ,n "o ^w8  ,!y cri$ to 
u t we 0 navvies' do*t]s1 & ,aw j said3 
',aw wud r be a navvy's do*t] ?an !     
do*t] o' ,annie ,mill]'s fai!r onywye4' 
,!y telt ,jean to wa% h] neck1 said     
,gladys4  ,jean smil$ grimly4  ,aye1 b  
!y got mair ?an !y b>ga9$ =6 ,i j says  
to !m1 ,aw says3 ',annie ,mill]1 gang   
hame & tell y] fai!r to r$d up 8        
f>m-yaird4 ,aye1 & tell y] mi!r to wa%  
y] heid ilka week in/ead o' twice a     
ye>6'  ,b1 ,i prote/$1 ,annie gets h]   
hair wa%$ e ,saturday night6  ,& ,aw get
 my neck wa%5 ilka morn9'6  ,all "r1    
,jean1 b y hav5't told me :at y said to 
,janet4  ,jan6 ,i soon settl$ h]6 ,i j  
says to h] says ,aw3 ',:a /ailt ! plums 
t mi!r bro*t hame on ,saturday ni*t8'   
,& did ,jan /eal ! plums8 ,i ask$4  ,%e 

did t6  ,& y nev] t\*$ !m8  ,no ! plums1
 %e said frankly2 ,aw wasna sic a ?ief z
 t4 ,aw only took a wee corn] o' ! fig  
t(fee4  ,i scrat*$ my head ?\ghtfully4  
,?is is a bonny racket1 girls4 ,i don't 
"k :at to make ( x4 ,i ?9k y'll bett]   
make x up4  ,nev]6 cri$ ,jean /\tly4    
,ell5 & ,gladys & me's nev] to speak to 
!m aga92 are'n we no1 ,ell58  ,nev]6    
cri$ ,ell54  ,no if !y 7 to gang doon on
 _! b5d$ knees6 decl>$ ,gladys4  ,t's   
awkw>d = y1 ,jean1 ,i said4 ,d y mean to
 tell me t y won't speak to ,jan :5 y   
are sleep+ toge!r8  ,aw'll j gie h] a   
dig 9 ! ribs wi' my elb[ to mak h] lie  
ow]1 b ,aw'll no op5 my moo?4  ,& :at if
 y\r "m says to y3 ',jean1 tell ,janet  
to fe$ ! h5s8'  ,aw'll j h& h] !        
corn-di% & po9t to ! h5hoose4  ,& put   
oot my tongue at h]1 %e add$4  ,jean1 ,i
 said sudd5ly1 ,i'll bet y a %ill+ t y  
are speak+ to ,jan & ,annie by to-morr[ 
night at f\r4  ,aw d9na hae a %ill9'1 %e
 said ruefully1 b ,aw bet ye a hap5ny   
,aw'm no6                             99

       99       99  ,to-night ,jean came
 runn+ up to me :5 s*ool 0 dismiss$4    
,gie's my hap5ny6 %e cri$2 ,aw didna    
speak to ,annie & ,janet a' day6        
,hone/8  ,x's true1 said ,ell51 isn't x 
,gladys8  ,!n ,i'll pay up my debt (    
hon\r1 ,i said1 & ,i held out a ha'p5ny4
  ,jean took x1 & !n %e set (f r\nd !   
/ead+ 9 great ha/e4 ,%e return$ ) h]    
arms r\nd ,janet & ,annie4  ,aw got     
,bets ,burnett to tell !m aboot !       
ha'p5ny1 %e confess$1 & to spe] !m no to
 speak to me a' day & ,aw wud gie !m a  
bit o' sug>elly4  ,y s*em+ besom6 ,i    
cri$ & ,i laid h] on my bo?y table & sat
 on h]4  ,eh6 ,jean6 said ,gladys1 if   
only ye _h said ye wud bet a %ill9'6    
,de> me1 ,i said ha/ily1 :5 ,i come to  
?9k ( x ,i did bet a %ill+4 ,jean bet a 
hap5ny1 b ,i di/9ctly rememb] say+ t ,i 
0 bett+ a %ill+4 ,"h y are1 ,jean6 b    
,jean refus$ x ) indignation4 ,n "o ( !m
 w\ld t\* x4  ,"r6 ,i cri$4 ,i'm go+ d[n
 to get cig>ettes4 ,:o's com+8  ,i sp5t 
a %ill+ on sweets & *ocolate4 ,no "o    

w\ld accept a s+le sweetie4  ,i'll give 
myself too?a*e if ,i eat !m1 ,i said4   
,!y paid no he$4  ,i won't invite "o ( y
 to my m>riage if y don't take !m4 ,!y  
wav]$1 b did n give way4  ,all "r1 ,i   
said ) an air ( great det]m9ation1 "h   
goes6 & ,i toss$ ! bag into ! field4 ,!y
 made no sign ( int]e/1 & we walk$ up ! 
brae4 ,jim ,jackson 0 com+ d[n ) 8 milk4
  ,jim1 ,i began1 if y g d[n to t fir/  
gate1 & look ov] ! h$ge y'll f9d--  ,i  
got no f>!r4  ,come on6 cri$ ,janet1 ,aw
 d9na want !m1 b ,jim ,jackson's no to  
get !m onywye6  ,i 0 glad to note t !y  
gave ,jim a h&ful z he pass$4           
99       99       99  ,to-day 0 fair    
day1 & ! bairns all w5t to t[n4 ,i cycl$
 9 9 ! aft]noon1 & took ! girls on !    
hobby-horses4 ,i also /ood ,jim ,jackson
 & ,dickie ,gibson into ! /irr+ drama   
entitl$3 ,! ,moan+ ,_s ( ! ,moat 444 a  
,drama ( ! ,sup]natural4 ,i _h a few    
%ies at ! hairy-dolls1 & won two        
cocoanuts & a gold tie-p94 ,!n ,i /ood  
fasc9at$ by ! /yle ( ! g5tleman :o kept 

! r+ /all4 ,sev]al articles 7 hung f    
hooks1 & y tri$ to ?r[ a r+ on to a     
hook4 ,8 inv>iable comm5t on a          
pl\ghman's attempt 03 ,h>d luck = !     
al>um-clock6 ,give ! g5tleman a         
coll>-/ud4  ,ab\t five o'clock ,jim came
 up to me4  ,h[ n[1 duke1 ,i said       
breezily1 h[ mu* money h y left8  ,i 0  
a/oni%$ to he> t he _h half-a-cr[n4     
,:y6 ,i cri$1 y told me at ?ree o'clock 
t y _h only n9ep5ce left6  ,he smil$    
enigmatically4  ,aw've be5 speculat9'1  
he said pr\dly4 ,h ye se5 ! mannie t's  
sell9' wat*es & ?+s at ! ,cross8 ,aw 0  
/&9' !re wi' ,geordie ,/eel ?is morn9'1 
& ! mannie spe]$ if onybody wud gie him 
a p5ny = a %ill9'1 & naebody wud dae x  
at fir/4 ,syne a pl\ghman gae him a p5ny
 & he got ! %ill9'4 ,syne ! mannie spe]s
 aga91 & ,geordie got a %ill9' = a      
ha'p5ny4 ,syne he began to sell wat*es1 
& ! fir/ man t bo*t a wat* got 8 money  
back4 ,syne he held up a gold *a91 & !  
man t bo*t t he got 8 money back4 ,syne 
he held up ani!r gold *a9 & said he wud 

sell x = half-a-cr[n4 ,s ,geordie ups & 
hauds oot 8 half-croon1 & x 0 a' ! money
 he _h4 ,weel1 he gets ! *a91 b no 8    
money back4 ',don't g away1' says !     
mannie2 'ea* & e man z buys an article (
 jewell]y w h 8 rew>d4'  ,weel1 ,aw     
wait$ = half-an-hoor1 b ,geordie hadna  
got ony?+ by t "t1 s ,aw goes & sees !  
box9' %[4 ,aft] t ,aw _h a %ot o' !     
%oag9' boats1 & syne ,aw w5t back to !  
,cross4 ,geordie 0 ay wait9' = 8 rew>d4 
,s ,aw says to him3 ',he's likely =got  
a' aboot x1 ,geordie2 tell him6' ,s     
,geordie hauds up 8 gold *a9 & says3    
',hi1 mannie1 ye said ,aw 0 to get a    
rew>d6' ',o1 yes1' says ! mannie1 '& s y
 %all6 ,i want y to keep ^! eighte5 c>at
 gold sleeve-l9ks z a mem5to ( ?is      
occasion1' & he %ov$ a pair o' l9ks into
 ,geordie's h&s4 ,aft] t he %ut 8 box & 
said he wud hae ani!r sale at f\r       
punctual4  ,weel1 ,aw began to ?9k aboot
 ! ?+1 & :5 he began aga9 he did ! same 
?+4 ',w anyone oblige me by giv+ me a   
p5ny = half-a-cr[n8' he says1 & ,aw 0 j 

putt9' up my h& :5 a man held up 8 p5ny4
 ',hi6' ,i cri$1 ',aw'll gie ye tupp5ce 
if ye l6' & ! mannie t 0 sell+ ! ?+s he 
lau*$ & h&$ me ! half-croon4 ',y're !   
k9d ( lad ,i'm look+ = = an appr5tice1' 
he says1 b :5ev] ,aw got ! money ,aw    
turn$ & ran awa1 & he cries aft] me3    
',yes1 y are ! lad ,i want1 b ,i see y  
are too clev] = me4'  ,i ask$ ,jim to %[
 me ! half-cr[n1 & ,i exam9$ x4 ,x 0 q  
g5u9e1 b ,i said to ,jim3 ,m5 l t       
usually give away bad money4 ,he 0 (f l 
a fla%1 & :5 he came back he c>ri$      
tw5ty-five p5nies & t5 hap5nies4  ,if he
 />ts to sell aga91 he ann\nc$1 ,aw'll  
get ,geordie to h& up ! p5ny1 b ,aw'll  
no /& aside him4  ,! girls ea* br\ght my
 m>ket to me to-night 444 a packet (    
rock4 ,i ask$ ab\t _! sp5d+s4 ,janet _h 
b\ght ?ree lucky-bags & n9e lucky eggs4 
,%e _h _h no luck1 & 0 some:at griev$ at
 ! fact t ,jean _h b\ght only "o        
lucky-egg & _h got a new hap5ny 9 x4    
,janet w\ld h b\ght ano!r egg ) !       
hap5ny1 b ,i 0 n surpris$ to he> t ,jean

 _h b\ght sug>elly4 ,ell5 _h b\ght a    
tup5ny note-book & a copy+-ink p5cil1 a 
rubb] & a c>d ( assort$ p5-nibs4 ,gladys
 _h sp5t h] all on lemon-kailie1 !      
heav5ly p[d] y get 9 oval boxes1 ) two  
wee t9 spoons to sup x )4  ,jim came up 
lat]4 ,8 pockets conta9$ ?ree trumps1 or
 ,jewi% h>ps z !y are call$ 9           
catalogues1 ?ree copy+-ink p5cils1 a    
p5cil t wrote r$ at "o end & blue at !  
o!r1 two m\?-organs1 a wire puzzle1 &   
444 ,geordie's gold *a94 ,! latt] he _h 
b\ght = tupp5ce & a d\ble-/r+$ trump4   
,aw sp5t ?ree & f[]p5ce1 he said1 b d9na
 tell ! ,me/]6  ,:y n1 ,jim8  ,cos he'll
 be angry4 ,he told u ye/]day no to sp5d
 oor money at ! m>ket1 b to br+ x & put 
x 9 ! ,sav9's ,bank4  ,i wond] :at      
becomes ( ! money t *ildr5 put into !   
,sav+s ,bank4 ,i ?9k t _! p>5ts usually 
coll> x at "s "t or ano!r4 ,i half      
suspect t q a numb] ( cottage pianos owe
 _! appe>ance to ! *ildr5's bank-books4 
,i /opp$ ! sav+ bus9ess :5 ,i 0 d[n 9 ! 
s*ool4 ,bairns seldom get money1 &      

sug>elly is l ,rob9son ,crusoe3 y mu/   
tackle x :5 y are "y1 or y nev] enjoy x 
?or\ghly4 ,i ?9k x cruel to make a bairn
 bank ! p5ny x gets = runn+ a message4  
,sp5d+ is always a pleasant ?+1 b a     
bairn gets m deliri\s joy out ( buy+ a  
hap5ny lucky-bag ?an an adult gets out (
 buy+ a ?\s& gu9ea ,rolls ,royce motor4 
,"s p>5ts are fooli% en\gh to give _!   
bairns too mu* to sp5d4 ,little ,m>y    
,wallace has a p5ny e day ( ! ye>4 ,i   
?9k t fooli% ( h] "m4 ,sp5d+ mu/ be a v 
r>e ?+ if x is to yield ! highe/        
pleasure4  ,i w\ld advise bairns to save
 :5 !y h a def9ite object 9 view4 ,to   
lay up treasure 9 ! ,po/ ,(fice ,sav+s  
,bank is1 = a bairn1 ab\t z tempt+ z    
lay+ up treasure 9 heav54 ,bairns c't   
ent]ta9 remote possibilities4 ,y c tell 
a boy t a sum 9 ! bank w help him to buy
 clo!s or a bicycle :5 he is a man1 & ! 
prospect does n ?rill him4 ,y c't       
p]suade a boy to ca/ 8 eyes on ! ye>s to
 come :5 8 eyes are rivett$ on a cake ( 
*ew+-gum 9 ! village %op w9d[4 ,if he   

saves x %\ld be = a direct tangible     
object4 ,he takes up a ,gamage catalogue
 7! mo/ delightful ( books to a boy71 & 
he sees an illu/ration ( a wat]-pi/ol   
co/+ a %ill+4 ,if he is a boy ( _s he w 
d5y himself sweeties = a mon? 9 ord] to 
get t pi/ol4 ,! self-discipl9e necess>y 
to enable a village boy to buy a        
wat]-pi/ol w d him inf9itely m good ?an 
all ! discipl9e ( all ! ,macdonalds 9   
,scotl&4 ,i w\ld h all *ildr5 poor 9    
money1 b ,i w\ld give !m ! opportunity (
 e>n+ en\gh money to buy _! toys4 ,a    
little pov]ty is good = anybody2 ,i w\ld
 recomm5d a "y man to live on twelve    
%ill+s a week = a ye> or two2 he w\ld   
beg9 to see ?+s 9 proportion4  ,a fri5d 
( m9e bases 8 antipa?y to ,socialism on 
?is view ( pov]ty4 ,he argues t pov]ty  
br+s out self-reliance1 pluck1 grit4 ,:5
 ,i ask him :y he doesn't support       
,socialism z a means ( br++ all ^!      
advantages to ! poor weal?y folk1 he is 
at a loss4 ,9 a mann] ,i agree ) him2   
pov]ty w (t5 give a race spl5did        

*>act]i/ics4 ,b ,socialism recognises t 
! weal? ( ! _w is divid$ mo/ unequally4 
,at "o end y h luxury t makes m5        
deg5]ate2 at ! o!r end y h pov]ty t     
makes m5 sw9e4 ,if ,%aw's idea ( equal  
incomes c\ld be c>ri$ out ea* p]son w\ld
 be 9 ! position ( a memb] ( ! pres5t   
l[] middle class2 he w\ld be ri* en\gh  
to be well-f$ & happy1 & he w\ld be poor
 en\gh to discipl9e himself to make     
sacrifices to atta9 an object4 ,i don't 
?9k t any man %\ld satisfy m ?an "o     
desire at a "t4 ,if ,&rew ,c>negie wants
 a motor-c> & a f\r manual organ he has 
simply to tell 8 secret>y to write out  
two *eques4 ,b if ,i want a motor-cycle 
& an ,angelus play]-piano ,i've got to  
give up "o desire4 ,i "k t ,i'll tire ( 
ei!r1 & all ,i h to d is to sit d[n &   
wond] :i* novelty w la/ ! long]4 ,i want
 bo? v mu*4 ,a #b-;h4p4 ,d\glas w\ld be 
delightful1 & an ,angelus ) lots ( rolls
 w\ld *>m ! long nights away4 ,b 444 !re
 is ,m>g>et4 ,i beg9 to ?9k ( blankets &
 %eets & pots & pans4 ,i don't want any 

( ^! plebeian articles1 b ,i want       
,m>g>et v mu*1 & ,i "k t along ) h] ,i  
mu/ take ! :ole bun* ( kit*5 ut5sils4   
,i beg9 to feel sorry = millionaires4   
,"o ( ! f9] pleasures ( life is ! desir+
 ( a ?+ y c't buy4 ,! sorrie/ man 9 /ory
 is ! millionaire :o arriv$ at a big    
hotel v late1 s late t he c\ldn't be    
s]v$ ) supp]4 ,he /raightway s5t = !    
proprietor & ask$ ! price ( ! hotel4 ,he
 wrote out a *eque on ! spot 444 & call$
 = 8 sausage & ma%$--or :atev] ! di% 04 
,no wond] t millionaires compla9 (      
indige/ion4  ,t /ory conta9s a f9e      
moral4 ,i don't exactly "k :at ! moral  
is1 b ,i haz>d ! op9ion t ! moral is    
?is3--,nev] buy a hotel 9 ord] to get a 
plate ( sausage & ma%$4 ,millionaires   
might be def9$ z m5 :o buy hotels 9 ord]
 to get sausage & ma%$ 444 & !y c't     
dige/ ! sausage :5 !y h got x4 ,:5 a    
,c>negie builds a great organ 9 a great 
hall he is really buy+ ! :ole hotel4 ,he
 is tak+ an unfair advantage ( 8 fell[  
music-lov]s4 ,a plate ( sausage & ma%$  

w\ld be ( f> great] mom5t to ,g4 ,k4    
,*e/]ton ?an to ! millionaire1 b ,g4 ,k4
 c\ldn't buy ! :ole hotel2 he w\ld m]ely
 swe> volubly & tight5 ! belt ( 8       
wai/coat 444 if t 7 possible4 ,!        
millionaire %\ld n h ?is advantage ov]  
,*e/]ton4 ,s a millionaire %\ld n h any 
advantage ov] a music-lov]4 ,coll9son1 !
 ,ed9burgh ,univ]sity organi/1 has no   
d\bt a great] appreciation ( organ music
 ?an a ,c>negie1 b he has to g d[n to 8 
*ur* organ on a w9t] night if he wants  
to play a ,ba* fugue4 ,money is p[]1 !y 
say1 b money is worse ?an p[]2 x is     
tyranny4 ,a successful pork-m]*ant ^: "o
 tal5t is 8 ability to tell at a glance 
h[ mu* pig x takes to fill a ?\s& t9s ( 
lamb cutlet1 may buy up half ! treasures
 ( ! _w if he likes4 ,priceless pictures
 & viol9s lie 9 millionaires' halls1    
:ile /ud5ts ( g5ius /udy pr9ts &        
practise on two gu9ea fiddles4 ,at fir/ 
sight ?is seems a problem t ,horatio    
,bottomley w\ld h&le eag]ly & popul>ly1 
b ! problem is really a deep "o4 ,:5    

humanity aboli%es ! p[] to amass        
millions :o is to h ! priceless         
treasures8 ,9 ! case ( art ! community (
 c\rse4 7,i see 9 to-day's pap] t ,rod9 
has bequea!d all 8 works to ,france47 ,b
 :at ( ! ,/radiv>ius viol9s8 ,i w\ld h  
!m l5t to ! g5iuses4 ,:o is to decide :o
 ! g5iuses are8 ,t is a "q (            
fundam5tals1 & if ,i _h left ! "q to    
,mr4 ,bottomley ,i ?9k he w\ld h        
recomm5d$ 8 read]s to write to ,john    
,bull ab\t x4  ,i beg9 to feel t ,i am  
talk+ ?r\gh my hat z ! vulg> phrase has 
x4 ,my baccy's f9i%$1 & ,i c't          
conc5trate my att5tion on any subject4  
,:at ,i meant to d 0 to %[ t a          
millionaire is a man to be piti$4 ,to   
buy a ,titian pa9t+ :5 y\r ta/es lie 9 !
 direction ( ,hea? ,rob9son's ,frightful
 ,w> ,pictures is z pa!tic a ?+ to d z  
to sit out a classical conc]t :5 y\r    
ta/es lead y to a passionate love =     
ragtime4 ,& buy+ a ,titian is a simple  
case ( buy+ ! hotel 9 ord] to get !     
sausage & ma%$ t y c't eat4             

,millionaires 444 no1 x's no good2 ,i'll
 h to fold up my typewrit] till ,i get  
"s m baccy4     ,,xv4   ,m>g>et 0 read+ 
a few pages ( my di>y to-night4  ,:y1 %e
 said1 x's all ab\t y\rself6  ,n all1 ,i
 said ha/ily1 "s ( x is ab\t y 444 b ,i 
won't let y read t "p until y are my    
wife4 ,if y knew ! t]rible ?+s ,i h     
writt5 ab\t y y w\ld g (f /raightway &  
m>ry ,joe ,smi?4  ,y ?9k q a lot (      
y\rself1 %e said ) a laugh4  ,ev]ybody  
?9ks a lot ( himself1 ,m>g>et4 ,if ,i   
di$ to-night y w\ld probably h =gott5 ! 
%ape ( my nose by ! "t y 7 sixty1 b y'll
 nev] =get t ,i told y y\r neck 0 !     
lovelie/ neck 9 ! c\nty4 ,my old gr&mo!r
 us$ to tell me aga9 & aga9 ( ! man :o  
/opp$ h] on ! road :5 %e 0 sev5 & told  
h] t h] eyes 7 l blue />s4 ,8 "n 0      
,donald ,gunn 444 b %e c\ld nev]        
recollect ! names ( ! girls %e play$ )4 
,! p :o don't ?9k mu* ( !mselves are p  
:o h no p]sonality to be pr\d ( 444     
p]sonally ,i hav5't yet met any ( ! br&4
 ,we all h some?+ t we're conceit$ ab\t1

 de>4 ,y are conceit$ ab\t y\r eyes &   
y\r neck & y\r hair4 ,jean ,h>die is    
ab\t ! pla9e/ girl 9 ! village1 b ,i    
c\ld bet t %e ?9ks h] hair ! mo/ glori\s
 9 ! place 444 & x is too4  ,v (t5 we   
are conceit$ ab\t ! ?+s t we c d wor/4  
,i c draw pretty well1 b ,i'm n conceit$
 ab\t x4 ,i c't s+ = nuts 444 & if      
anyone left ! room :5 ,i 0 w>bl+ ,i %\ld
 hate him to all et]nity4 ,i l a man to 
be an egoti/ 444 if he has got an ego ( 
any value4 ,pet] ,mac,mannish is a type 
( egoti/ t %\ld be put into a le?al     
*amb]4 ,he has no ego to talk ab\t1 b he
 imag9es t 8 /oma* is 8 ego1 & he w talk
 to y = an h\r ab\t ! 'yirk9'' ( ! organ
 9 "q4  ,:at is an ego8 ask$ ,m>g>et4 ,i
 nev] he>d ! ^w be=e4  ,x is ! ,lat9 ^w 
= ',i1' & a p]son :o uses ! pron\n ',i' 
v (t5 is call$ an egoti/4 ,! o!r ^w     
egoi/ has a diff]5t mean+2 x means a    
p]son :o ?9ks ( himself all ! "t1 a     
selfi% p]son4 ,y c be an egoti/ )\t be+ 
an egoi/1 & vice v]sa4 ,pet] ,mit*ell   
nev] talks ab\t himself2 :ile y talk    

ab\t y\rself he is ?9k+ out a me?od (   
sell+ y some?+ at d\ble its value4  ,!re
 are two k9ds ( egoti/ 444 ! man :o     
talks ab\t :at he does1 & ! man :o talks
 ab\t :at he ?9ks4 ,:5 ,i get lett]s f  
my fri5ds !y are full ( ,i's4 ,doro?y   
,we/brook1 a college fri5d ( m9e1 a     
m$alli/ 9 half-a-doz5 classes1 fills    
eight pages ) small talk4444 ',i w5t to 
see ,tree 9 ! ,d>l+ ( ! ,gods la/       
night1' & s on4 ,i g5]ally skip ! eight 
pages & look at ! po/-script4 ,may      
,baxt]1 ano!r college fri5d1 a girl :o  
w\ldn't recognise a m$al if y %[$ h] "o1
 writes t5 pages1 & %e usually comm5ces 
) some?+ l ?is3--',i 0 re-read+ ,! ,new 
,ma*iavelli la/ night1 & ,i ?9k t ,i    
beg9 to despise ,wells n[4' ,i read h]  
lett] a doz5 times4 ,:5 %e does take a  
fancy = ! o!r k9d ( egotism %e is       
delightful3 %e doesn't tell me :at %e   
does2 %e tells me :at %e is4  ,i h half 
a m9d to leave y = a ye>1 ,m>g>et1 j to 
give y a *ance ( writ+ ab\t y\rself4 ,i 
won't be able to write to y 9 ! same    

/ra93 ,i wrote myself out :5 ,i fell 9  
love at tw5ty-two4 ,y c only be a good  
lett]-writ] once1 & t is :5 y are       
discov]+ y\rself = ! fir/ "t1 & ramm+ x 
d[n on pap] z fa/ z y c4 ,i us$ to write
 lett]s ( tw5ty foolscap pages1 b n[ ,i 
nev] write a lett] if ,i c help x4 ,life
 has lo/ mo/ ( its glam\r :5 y realise t
 y h discov]$ y\rself4 ,x's a sad       
bus9ess discov]+ y\rself1 de>4 ,y set   
out to p]suade y\rself t y are a g5ius  
or a sa9t1 &1 aft] a long exam9ation (  
y\rself y discov] t y are a sorry       
creature4 ,y set out ) ,fai? & ,hope at 
y\r elb[1 & at ! end y f9d t !y h long  
s9ce left y1 b y f9d t ,*>ity has tak5  
_! place4 ,*>ity beg9s at home says !   
prov]b1 & ,i take ?is to mean t ,*>ity  
comes to y :5 y f9d y\rself at home1 :5 
y discov] y\rself4 ,i us$ to be ! mo/   
un*>itable ( mortals1 b n[ ,i seldom    
judge a man or woman4 ,pet] ,mac,mannish
 gets drunk2 ,i d n condemn him1 = ,i h 
look$ on ! w9e :5 x 0 r$4 ,m>y          
,mac,winnie has _h two illegitimate     

*ildr52 ,i am a !oretical ,don ,juan4   
,%eph]d1 ! rabbit-cat*]1 has an atroci\s
 temp]2 ,i d n judge him1 because1      
al?\gh my own temp] is pretty equable1  
,i c realise t ! man c no m help 8 temp]
 ?an ,i c ! size ( my feet4 ,*>ity comes
 to y :5 y h discov]$ h[ weak y are1 &  
t's :at kept me f be+ a good code tea*]4
 ,i 0 su* a poor weak devil t ,i c\ldn't
 br+ myself to make ! boys salute me or 
fe> me4  ,y say t1 b y don't believe x4 
,i believe x1 ,m>g>et4 ,my :ole !ory (  
education is built on my abject         
humility4 ,my *ief objection to         
,macdonald is t he ignores 8 own        
weaknesses4 ,he has nev] analys$ himself
 to see :at mann] ( man he is4 ,if he   
c\ld look into 8 he>t & discov] all !   
little meanesses & follies & hypocrisies
 he w\ld n h ! c\rage to make a boy     
salute him2 he w\ld n h ! impud5ce to   
/rap a boy = swe>+4 ,"o ( ! wor/ ?+s    
ab\t ,macdonald & a ?\s& o!r dom9ies is 
t !y h =gott5 _! *ildhood4 ,a dom9ie    
%\ld nev] gr[ up4 ,i w\ld take away f   

all /ud5ts _! text-books on ,s*ool      
,managem5t & ,psy*ology1 & put into _!  
h&s ,b>rie's ,pet] ,pan & ,/ev5son's ,a 
,*ild's ,g>d5 ( ,v]ses4  ,m>g>et1 :y c't
 p see t ! ,macdonald sy/em is all      
wrong8 ,:at 9 all ! _w is ! use (       
dom9ies & m9i/]s & p>5ts pos+ be=e      
*ildr58 ,:at is respect b a pose8 ,:at  
is ,macdonald's /]nness b a pose8 ,he is
 a k9dly dec5t fell[ outside 8 s*ool4 ,!
 bairns meet ) pose ! fir/ ?+ 9 ! morn+ 
:5 !y ent] ! s*ool4 ,!y /& up & repeat !
 ,"l's ,pray] monoton\sly1 & )\t !      
fa9te/ realisation ( :at !y are say+4 ,!
 dom9ie closes 8 eyes & clasps 8 h&s 9  
front ( him1 & ,i don't believe !re is a
 s+le dom9ie 9 ,scotl& :o really prays  
ea* morn+4 ,= t matt] ,i don't believe t
 !re are half-a-doz5 m9i/]s :o repeat ! 
pray] on ,sundays ) any ?\ght ( its     
mean+4 ,! morn+ pray] is a gigantic %am4
 ,:5 ,i said to ,macdonald t ,i w\ld h x
 aboli%$ 9 s*ools he almo/ _h a fit4 ,! 
bigg] ! %am is ! l\d] is ! scream+ 9 its
 def5ce if y attack x4  ,?9k ( all !    

%ams t p>5ts practise4 ,!y pret5d t     
babies come 9 ! doctor's pocket2 !y     
pret5d t a lie is z mu* an abom9ation to
 !m z x is to ! ,"l2 !y imply by _!     
actions t !y nev] /ole apples 9 _!      
lives2 !y h9t t !y don't "k :at bad     
language means4 ,!y live a life t is "o 
cont9u\s lie4  ,i don't und]/& t1 said  
,m>g>et ) a puzzl$ look4  ,a "m lies to 
h] *ild :5 %e tells x t x is wick$ :5 x 
makes a noise2 a fa!r lies to 8 son :5  
he tells him t he w come to a bad end if
 he smokes any m cig>ettes4 ,worse ?an t
 !y lie by negation4 ,! fa!r *anges 8   
',hell6' into ',hades6' :5 he hits 8    
?umb ) a hamm]2 ! "m says ',tut ,tut6'  
:5 %e means ',damnation6' ,bo? g to *ur*
 z an example to _! (fspr+ 444 & go+ to 
*ur* is 9 mo/ cases a lie4 ,ne>ly e fa!r
 ( a family says grace be=e meat1 & he  
g5]ally delays ! practice until 8       
fir/-born is old en\gh to take notice4  
,!n !re is ! lie ab\t relation%ip4 ,a   
*ild nev] discov]s t its fa!r has ab\t z
 mu* love = its "m's aunt z he has = !  

,k+ ( ,siam4  ,conv5tion is "o huge lie1
 ,m>g>et4 ,y lift y\r hat :5 a c(f9 goes
 by2 y beg my p>don :5 ,i ask y to pass 
! m>malade2 y /& b>e-head$ :5 a b& plays
 ! ,national ,an!m4 ,x's all a lie1 de>1
 a pretty lie p]haps1 b a lie all !     
same4 ,b aft] all1 ! mann]s bus9ess is a
 m9or affair2 y c't aboli% x1 & if y try
 y w only make y\rself ridicul\s4 ,b !  
o!r lies1 ! hypocritical lies t are told
 to *ildr5 444 ^! are dang]\s4 ,an ard5t
 republican w d(f 8 hat :5 ! b& plays   
,god ,save ! ,k+1 & be none ! worse2 !  
unpleasantness t might foll[ 8 keep+ 8  
hat on 8 head w\ldn't be wor? x4 ,b if  
,i pret5d to a *ild t ,i am above human 
frailty ,i am do+ a helli% ?+ t may h   
devili% consequ5ces4  ,y\r language is  
awful6 cri$ ,m>g>et 9 feign$ prote/4  ,i
 0 quot+ ,! ,anci5t ,m>9]1 de>2 y read x
 at my ev5+ class1 & y h evid5tly =gott5
 x4 ,s9ce ! beg9n+ ( humanity *ildr5 h  
be5 w>p$ by ! attitud9is+ ( _! eld]s4 ,a
 *ild is imitative always2 he hasn't !  
p[] to ?9k out biggi% ?+s = himself4 ,he

 is trem5d\sly docile2 he w believe     
almo/ any?+ y tell him1 & he w accept an
 old] p]son's pose )\t "q4 ,if "o ( !   
village boys 7 to see ,macdonald /ott+  
home drunk he w\ld be l ! c\ntryman :o1 
:5 he saw a giraffe = ! fir/ "t1 cri$3  
',hell6444 ,i don't believe x6' ,& ! sad
 ?+ is t !y nev] are able to di/+ui%    
betwe5 pose & tru?4 ,! villag]s :o us$  
to tell my bairns t ,i 0 daft don't     
realise :at pose is2 !y h nev] f\nd ! "r
 values4 ,:5 !y criticise ! m9i/] or !  
dom9ie !y inv>iably fa/5 on ! wrong ?+s4
 ,!y are beg9n+ to criticise ,macdonald 
because he insi/s on a bairn's br++ a   
writt5 excuse :5 he has be5 abs5t1 b !y 
believe 9 all 8 poses--8 love = respect1
 8 au?ority1 8 :ack+s1 8 hid+ ( 8 pipe  
:5 a *ild is ne>1 8 passion = sex       
morality1 8 dignity1 8 444 8 fray$ frock
 coat t he we>s 9 s*ool4  ,! poor man's 
only we>+ out 8 old ,sunday coat6       
prote/$ ,m>g>et4  ,i nev] ?\ght ( t1    
,m>g>et2 ,i'll cut out ! coat4 ,b he    
%\ldn't h a frock coat anyway4 ,:5 we   

get m>ri$ ,i %all insi/ on dress+ 9 an  
old golf+ jacket1 flannel bags1 & a s(t 
coll>4 ,! only dang] is t m5 ( my /amp  
are apt to make unconv5tion conv5tional4
 ,x's a v difficult ?+ to keep f pos+ :5
 y are prote/+ aga9/ pose4  ,oh6 ,i     
don't und]/& ! half ( :at y say1 said   
,m>g>et we>ily4  ,t means t y ?9k my    
lips might be bett] employ$1 y s*em]6 & 
,i 444 well1 ,i don't ?9k ,i ne$ write  
ev]y?+ d[n aft] all4                    
99       99       99  ,!re 0 a v5t]     
locu/ at ! s*ule ! day1 rem>k$ ,annie4  
,i 0 bru%+ my boots at ! bo?y door1 & ! 
girls sat on ! /ep & wat*$ me4  ,a :at8 
,i ask$4  ,a v5t] locu/4 ,ye paid a p5ny
 to get 91 & ,jim ,jackson gai!r$ !     
p5nies 9 ! mannie's hat & got 9 = no?+1 
= he didna put 8 a9 p5ny 94  ,:at sort (
 %[ 0 x1 ,annie8  ,he _h a muckle doll  
wi' an awfu' ugly face1 & he ask$ x     
que/ions4  ,did x answ] !m8  ,aye4 ,x   
op5$ its great big moo?4  ,!re maybe 0 a
 gramaphone inside1 sugge/$ ,gladys4    
,jim ,jackson said t x 0 ! mannie t 0   

speak9' a' ! "t1 said ,janet4  ,jim     
,jackson 0 ble!r9'1 said ,annie ) scorn4
 ,aw wat*$ 'im1 & 8 moo? nev] mov$ a' ! 
"t4  ,p]haps he 0 talk+ ?r\gh 8 hat1    
,annie1 ,i said4  ,he wasna1 %e cri$1 = 
8 hat 0 on ! ,me/]'s desk fu' o' p5nies6
  ,well1 ,i v5tur$1 ! prov]b says t     
money talks1 y "k4  ,weel1 titt]$       
,annie1 !re wasna mu* money to talk1 = !
 p5nies 0 ne>ly a' hap5nies6  ,aw d9na  
und]/& h[ t doll manag$ to speak1 said  
,ell51 & ,i proce$$ to expla9 ! my/]ies 
( v5triloquism to !m4 ,!n ,i told !m my 
"o v5triloqui/ y>n4  ,a brok5-d[n       
v5triloqui/ /opp$ at a village inn "o   
hot day1 & />$ long+ly ?r\gh ! b> door4 
,he hadn't a c5t 9 8 pocket4 ,he sat d[n
 on ! b5* & gaz$ we>ily at a /ray       
mongrel dog t _h foll[$ him = days4     
,sudd5ly inspiration came to him4 ,he   
rose & walk$ into ! b>4  ,a p9t ( be]1  
mi/]6 he cri$1 & pret5d$ to fumble = 8  
money1 :5 ! l&lord plac$ ! tank>d on !  
b> c\nt]4  ,! dog look$ up into 8 face4 
,"h1 mi/]1 said ! dog1 a9't ,i go+ to   

get "o8  ,! l&lord />t$4  ,t's a        
rem>kable animal1 he said ) />+ eyes4   
,pretty sm>t1 said ! v5triloqui/        
indiff]5tly4  ,i'll--,i'll buy t dog1   
said ! l&lord eag]ly2 ,i'll give y five 
p\nds = him4  ,! v5triloqui/ consid]$ = 
a :ile4  ,all "r1 he said at l5g?1 ,i   
hate to "p ) an old fri5d l him1 b ,i   
mu/ live1 & ,i h no money4  ,! l&lord   
c\nt$ out ! five sov]eigns1 & !         
v5triloqui/ drank up 8 be] & made = !   
door4  ,bett] come r\nd & take hold ( ! 
dog1 he said1 or he'll foll[ me4  ,!    
l&lord lift$ ! b>-flap & took hold ( !  
dog by ! coll>4  ,at ! door !           
v5triloqui/ look$ back4 ,! dog gaz$ at  
him4  ,y brute1 x cri$1 y've sold me =  
vulg> gold4 ,i swe> t ,i'll nev] speak  
aga94  ,i paus$4  ,&1 y "k1 girls1 he   
nev] did4  ,eh1 cri$ ,janet1 :at a %ame6
 ,! public-hoose mannie wud lea!r ! puir
 bea/ to mak' x speak4  ,t's ! real po9t
 ( ! /ory1 ,jan4 ,a /ory is no good     
unless x leaves some?+ to ! imag9ation4 
,! ,me/] gae u a /ory to write =        

composition ! day1 said ,annie4 ,x 0    
aboot a boy t 0 aft] a job & a' ! boys 7
 l9$ up & !y _h to g 9 to see ! man1 &  
he _h a ,bible ly9' on ! floor1 & a' !  
lads /eppit ov] x1 b ?is laddie he      
pickit x up & got ! job4  ,t's :at y    
call a /ory ) a moral1 ,annie4 ,x is    
meant to tea* y a lesson4 ,! be/ /ories 
h no morals 444 nei!r h ! p :o li/5 to  
!m4  ,we _h to write ! /ory1 said ,ell51
 & syne we _h to tell :y ! boy got !    
job4 ,aw said x 0 becos he 0 a guid boy 
& w5t to ! ,sunday ,s*ule4  ,aw said x 0
 becos he 0 a p]nikity sort o' laddie t 
lik$ ?+s to be tidy1 said ,gladys4      
,annie laugh$4  ,aw said ! man 0 maybe a
 fat man t cudna b5d doon to pick x up4 
,:at did y say1 ,jan8  ,aw d9na m9d1    
said ,janet ruefully1 b :5 ! ,me/] cri$ 
me oot = speak9'1 ,aw pick$ up a        
geography book on ! floor1 j to mak !   
,me/] ?9k t ,aw _h le>n$ a lesson frae 8
 /ory1 b he gae me a slap on ! lug =    
wa/9' "t com9' oot4  ,jim ,jackson got  
?ree scuds wi' ! /rap = 8 /ory1 said    

,annie4  ,ah6 ,i cri$1 :at did he write8
  ,he said t ! laddie maybe hadna a     
hankie1 & 8 nose 0 ne$9' di*t$ & he     
didna l to let ! man see him di*t9' x   
wi' ! sleeve o' 8 jaicket1 s he b5t doon
 to pick up ! ,bible & di*t 8 nose on ! 
sly at ! same "t4  ,yes1 ,i said sadly1 
t's ,jim ,jacksonese1 pure & simple4    
,poor lad6  ,! ,me/] said he 0 a vulg>  
fell[1 said ,janet4  ,a l[-m9d$ some?+  
or o!r1 he ca'ed him1 said ,gladys4  ,b 
he didna greet :5 he got ! /rap1 said   
,annie1 he j sniff$ ?ro' 8 nose &--&    
di*t$ x wi' 8 sleeve4  ,i knew !n t all 
! ,macdonalds 9 creation c\ldn't conqu] 
my ,jim4     ,,xvi4   ,macdonald & ,i 7 
comp>+ notes to-night4  ,i f\nd t       
,monday 0 always a noisy day 9 s*ool1 ,i
 said2 ! bairns 7 always unsettl$4  ,i  
don't f9d t1 he said2 ,friday is _! wor/
 day4 ,i don't und]/& t4  ,friday 0 my  
free day1 ,i said4  ,:at d y mean by    
free day8  ,e bairn did :at x lik$4     
,good ,"l6 exclaim$ ,macdonald4  ,t's   
no?+1 ,i laugh$1 :y1 ,i gave !m a free  

week once4  ,:at 0 y\r idea4 ,laz9ess8  
,laz9ess6 ,my de> boy1 ,i nev] put 9 su*
 a h>d week 9 my life4 ,a boy w\ld come 
out & ask = a c]ta9 k9d ( sum1 !n a girl
 w\ld br+ out a writ+ book & ask = a    
sett+2 by ! "t ,i _h att5d$ to ^!1 a    
doz5 7 wait+4  ,did !y all "w8  ,!y 7   
all active4 ,dickie ,gibson sp5t ! week 
9 sket*+2 ,geordie ,/eel read five p5ny 
dreadfuls2 ,janet ,br[n play$ at        
anagrams2 ,annie ,mill] read ,! ,weekly 
,welcome2 ,ell5 ,smi? work$ ari?metic   
all week & ,jock ,mill] wrote a novel4  
,jock sp5t half 8 d9n]-h\r writ+4  ,t's 
:at a s*ool %\ld be1 ,i add$4  ,ah6 ,s y
 ?9k t read+ p5ny dreadfuls is          
education8  ,ev]y?+ y d is education4   
,s y say1 b ,i want to "k ! exact       
educational value ( p5ny dreadfuls4 ,my 
idea is t !y d boys h>m4  ,t's :at !    
magi/rates say1 ,macdonald4 ,!y trace   
all juv5ile crime to p5ny dreadfuls & ! 
c9ema4 ,! ,briti% h a passion =         
scapegoats4 ,we h w> ) ,g]many4 ',:o did
 ?is8' dem& ! public indignantly4 ',:o's

 go+ to be :opp$ = ?is8' ,!y look r\nd &
 ,haldane's rotund figure cat*es _! eye4
 ,haldane becomes ! scapegoat4 ,s ) poor
 ,birrell :5 ! ,s9n ,fe9 rebellion      
occurr$4 ,s ! magi/rates fa/5 on ! poor 
p5ny dreadful & ! picture-film4         
,obvi\sly !y d s because !y are too     
/upid to ?9k out ! problem ( crime4     
,picture-h\ses h ab\t z mu* to d ) crime
 z ,birrell _h to d ) ! dissatisfaction 
9 ,irel&4  ,come1 come1 said ,macdonald 
impati5tly1 keep to ! po9t3 :at         
educational value has ! p5ny dreadful8  
,! educational value t any read+ matt]  
has4 ,x doesn't give y _m ideas1 b y c  
say ! same ?+ ab\t ,b>rie's novels or   
,kipl+'s4 ,x gives a boy a vocabul>y & x
 ex]cises 8 imag9ation4  ,w\ldn't he be 
bett] read+ good lit]ature8 ,dick5s =   
in/ance8  ,i don't see x1 ,i said2 he   
isn't ripe en\gh to und]/& ,dick5s's    
hum\r1 & = a boy ,i %\ld say ,dick5s is 
bad4 ,8 /yle is gr&iose & /ilt$1 8      
p]iphrasis is ! mo/ delightful 9 ! _w to
 an educat$ p]son1 b x is bad = a *ild4 

,ab\t half ( ,david ,copp]field is      
circumlocution1 b a boy %\ld le>n to    
speak & write boldly4 ,! p5ny dreadful  
goes /raight to ! po9t4 ',h>old look$   
/raight into ! blue b>rel ( a ,colt     
automatic4' ,translate t into ,dick5sese
 7an ugly ^w to co91 ,i admit7 & y h    
some?+ l ?is3--',h>old contemplat$ )    
extreme appreh5sion ! circul> muzzle ( a
 ,c]ulean blue automatic pi/ol ( ! k9d  
specifically manufactur$ by ! celebrat$ 
_w-fam\s ,am]ican firm ( ,colt4'  ,poor 
,dick5s1 laugh$ ,macdonald4  ,b y see my
 po9t8 ,i p]si/$4 ,circumlocution is a  
,victorian nuisance4 ,any man :o has    
any?+ to say says x simply & )\t        
trapp+s4 ,&1 m9d y1 ,macdonald1 p :o use
 circumlocution 9 /yle use x 9 ?\ght4 ,!
 av]age man loves fl[]y lit]ature1 & he 
loves fl[]y ?\ghts4 ,! conte/ betwe5 !  
pla9 /yle & ! aureate /yle is really !  
old conte/ betwe5 realism & romance4 ,! 
romantic way to look at crime is to fix 
y\r att5tion on dr9k & p5ny dreadfuls & 
c9ema %[s2 ! reali/ic way is to look    

bravely at ! economic division ( weal? t
 causes pov]ty & disease1 ! fa!r & "m ( 
crime4  ,y're away f ! po9t aga91 said  
,macdonald ) a smile4 ,h[ d y def5d     
,janet ,br[n's week ( anagrams8  ,x     
doesn't ne$ any def5ce2 x 0 ,janet's    
fancy to play h]self & ,i fail to see t 
%e 0 wa/+ "t4 ,y really nev] wa/e "t    
unless y are "u co]cion4  ,ano!r rott5  
p>adox1 he laugh$1 g on6  ,:5 ,i all[   
conv5tion to =ce me to play c>ds ,i feel
 t ,i am wa/+ "t1 = ,i hate ! blam$ ?+s4
 ,b if ,i sp5d a day pott]+ ) ! :eels ( 
an old clock ,i am n wa/+ "t3 ,i am     
extremely int]e/$ all ! "t4  ,no1 no6 ,x
 won't d6 ,janet 0 wa/+ "t1 & y "k x1 9 
spite ( y\r argu+6  ,i'll tell y :at's  
wrong ) y & all y\r fell[ educationi/s1 
,macdonald1 ,i said4 ,y've got          
utilit>ian comm]cial m9ds4 ,y wor%ip "w 
& duty1 & y h y\r eyes on monet>y       
success all ! "t4 ,y look ^u bairns z a 
=eman me*anic looks ^u workm51 & y\r    
idea ( wa/$ "t is ! same z 84 ,if ,i 7  
,bruce1 ! l95 m]*ant1 ,i %\ld c]ta9ly   

accuse a girl ( wa/+ "t if ,i caught h] 
read+ a novelette dur+ work+ h\rs4      
,bruce has "o def9ite aim--production ( 
l954 ,he kn[s exactly :at he wants to   
produce4 ,y don't1 & ,i don't4 ,we don't
 "k :at effect puzzl+ out anagrams w h  
on ,janet's m5tality4 ,we h no "r to    
accuse h] ( wa/+ "t4  ,don't tell me1 he
 cri$2 !re is a diff]5ce betwe5 "w &    
play4 ,janet has no m "r to play dur+   
s*ool h\rs ?an a mill-girl has to read  
novelettes dur+ work+ h\rs4  ,!         
mill-girl is a wage-slave1 & ,i don't   
?9k t dom9ies %\ld apply ! e?ics (      
wage-slav]y to education4 ,h] ma/]1     
,bruce1 goes golf+ & fi%+ on work+ days1
 only1 he is economically free1 & he c d
 :at he likes4 ,& ,i don't suppose y w  
cont5d t t5d+ a loom is ! goal (        
humanity4 ,if y want to make ,janet an  
effici5t mill-girl by all means co]ce h]
 to "w 9 s*ool4 ,b1 ,macdonald1 ,i h    
argu$ a score ( times t education %\ld n
 aim at turn+ out wage-slaves4 ,if      
,janet is to be a mill-girl all y\r     

hi/ory & gramm> won't make h] t5d a loom
 any bett]2 s f> z ! loom is conc]n$ !  
compos+ ( anagrams w help h] q z mu* z  
gramm> w4  ,:5 ,macdonald _h gone ,i    
made up my m9d t ,i w\ldn't argue ab\t  
education ) him aga94 ,i'll br+ out my  
pack ( c>ds :5 he next visits me4       
99       99       99  ,i h _h a %>p     
attack ( influ5za1 & h be5 9 b$ = a     
week4 ,:5 my temp]ature fell ,i comm5c$ 
to read a book on political philosophy1 
b ,i _h to give x up4 ,i ask$ ,m>g>et to
 borr[ a few novels f ,macdonald's s*ool
 libr>y1 & ,i f\nd cont5t4 ,i read ,!   
,=e/ ,lov]s1 ,k+ ,solomon's ,m9es1 & "o 
( ,guy ,boo?by's ,dr4 ,nikola /ories1 & 
0 entranc$4  ,:5 y are ill y become     
primitive2 ! emotional "p ( y is        
upp]mo/1 & y weep ov] mawki% drivel t y 
w\ld laugh at :5 y are well4 ,any       
snivell+ p>son c\ld h p]suad$ me to     
believe t ,i 0 a s9n]1 _h he come to my 
b$-side ?ree days ago4  ,luckily no     
snivell+ p>son came1 b ! girls came e   
night4  ,aw hope ye d9na dee1 said      

,annie4  ,ye wud ne$ an awfu' lang c(f91
 said ,janet z %e measur$ me ) h] eye4  
,y've got a *e]ful sort ( b$-side mann]1
 ,jan1 ,i said4  ,wud ye hae an oak     
c(f98 %e ask$4  ,c\ldn't af=d x1 ,jan4  
,y see ,i'm sav+ up = my m>riage4  ,b if
 ye ne$ a c(f9 ye'll no ne$ a wife4  ,! 
w$d+-cake w d = ! fun]al fea/1 ,i said  
hopefully4 ,i've ord]$ x4  ,janet       
laugh$4  ,eh6 ,x wud be awfu' funny to  
eat w$d9' cake at a burial6 %e cri$4    
,wud'n x8  ,i don't ?9k ,i w\ld be 9 a  
position to appreciate ! fun ( ! ?+1    
,janet4  ,maggie wudna see muckle fun 9 
x ei!r1 said ,gladys4  ,wud ,jim        
,jackson be y] *ief m\rn]8 ask$ ,ell54  
,possibly1 ,i said1 b don't m5tion !    
fact to him4 ,he'll become unsettl$4    
,he's an ambiti\s y\?1 ,jim1 & 8        
position z be/ man at my m>riage w m]ely
 make him long = o!r worlds to conqu]4  
,ye wud hae a big fun]al1 said ,janet   
?\ghtfully4  ,we wud get a holiday t    
day1 %e add$ brightly4  ,ah6 ,i said1 t 
settles x1 ,jan4 ,leave me to die 9     

peace4 ,let me see--?is is ,tuesday2 if 
,i die n[ t w mean ,saturday = ! fun]al4
 ,t's no good4 ,:at d y say to my putt+ 
(f ! evil day till ,friday8 ,t w mean a 
holiday on ,tuesday4  ,b ye canna dee :5
 ye want to6 %e laugh$4  ,i c easily    
borr[ "s ( ,mrs4 ,?omson's rat poison4  
,syne ye wud be committ9' sooicide1 cri$
 ,annie1 & !y wud bury ye at ni*t1 & we 
wudna get oor holiday4  ,ah6 ,annie6    
,y've rais$ a difficulty4 ,i he> ,jim   
:i/l+ outside4 ,br+ him 9 & we'll see if
 he c solve ! problem4  ,!y br\ght ,jim 
to my b$side4 ,i expla9$ ! difficulty1 &
 ,jim scrat*$ 8 head4  ,if ye 0 murd]$  
!y wudna bury ye at ni*t1 he said aft]  
"s delib]ation4  ,a brilliant idea1     
,jim1 b :o is to murd] me8  ,joe        
,simpson wud dae x 444 quick1 he answ]$4
 ,he has a notion o' ,maggie4  ,aw wud  
get ano!r holiday1 he add$1 :5 ,joe 0   
tri$4 ,aw wud be a witness4  ,s wud ,aw1
 said ,annie4  ,& me too1 said ,janet4  
,ye wudna1 said ,jim ) scorn1 lassies   
canna swe>1 & ye h to put y] h& on !    

,bible & swe> :5 ye are a witness4      
,we'll h to give up ! murd] idea1 ,i    
said firmly3 x's unfair2 ,i c't h ,jim  
gett+ two holidays :ile ! girls get only
 "o4  ,we mi*t get ano!r holiday :5 ,joe
 0 buri$1 sugge/$ ,ell54  ,no1 said     
,jim1 !y bury a hang$ man 9 ! jile4     
,ye'll j ne$ to get bett] aga91 said    
,janet4  ,y'll lose y\r holiday 9 t     
case1 ,jan4  ,%e put h] arm r\nd my     
neck4  ,aw 0 j funn9'1 %e said k9dly1   
,aw d9na want ye to dee4 ,aw wud greet4 
,y w\ld =get me 9 a week1 ,jan4  ,na ,aw
 wudna1 %e prote/$4 ,aw wud put fl[]s on
 y] grave ilka ,sabba?1 & ,aw wud cut   
oot ! v]se o' pott]y 9 ! pap]4 ,aw cut  
oot ! v]se aboot my auntie ,liz4  ,:at 0
 x8  ,aw d9na m9d1 b x 0 some?+ l ?is3--
        ,we ?9k1 :5 we look at y] vacant
 *air1        ,( y] de> old face & y]   
grey hair1      ,b ye are away to ! l& (
 above        ,:]e ye'll nev] m h c>e4  
,v nice1 ,jan4 ,n[ y'll bett] set ab\t  
compos+ a v]se = me4  ,a' ri*t1 %e      
laugh$1 we'll mak a l9e ea*1 & "h's !   

fir/ "o3--        ',he 0 go9' to be     
m>rit1 b he dee'd a=e 8 "t   ,y mak !   
next l9e1 ,annie4        ',& ,jim       
,jackson ate s muckle at ! fun]al t he  
got a sair         wime4'   ,nane o' y] 
lip1 gr[l$ ,jim4  ,come on1 ,gladys1 ,i 
said1 ?ird l9e4        ',he dee'd o'    
effiel9za1 & he'll no hae ony mair pa94 
,la/ l9e1 ,ell56        ',b 9 ! ,bett]  
,l& we'll maybe meet him aga94'   ,!re  
%ud be some?+ aboot 'gone b n =gott51'  
said ,jim4 ,:5 auld ,rab ,smi? dee'd 8  
wife _h 'gone b n =gott5' 9 ! pap]s 444 
& ! corp wasna oot o' ! hoose4  ,aw've  
got a new frock1 said ,janet1 & !       
conv]sation took a *e]i] direction4  ,on
 ! foll[+ ev5+ ,m>g>et came 9 :5 !y 7 ) 
me4  ,come on6 cri$ ,janet1 we'll mak   
,maggie kiss him6 & !y seiz$ h]4  ,no1  
,i said1 influ5za is cat*+1 & ,i don't  
want ,m>g>et to be ill4  ,eh6 cri$      
,annie1 d'ye ?9k we believe t8 ,aw      
believe %e's kiss$ ye a hund] times s9ce
 ye 0 badly4  ,n a hundr$1 ,annie1 ,i   
said2 ! tru? is t %e kiss$ me once2 ,i  

_h j tak5 my dose ( ,gregory's ,mixture1
 & %e v[$ t %e w\ld nev] kiss me aga94  
,aw wud *uck him up if ,aw 0 y1 ,maggie1
 said ,jean1 he tells f> ow] _m lees4   
,%\ld ,i8 laugh$ ,m>g>et4  ,aye1 cri$   
,jean ) delight1 gie him back 8 r+6     
,m>g>et drew (f h] r+ & h&$ x to me1 & !
 girls clapp$ _! h&s gleefully4  ,v     
good1 ,i said resign$ly1 y girls w bett]
 cancel ! ord]s = w$d+ frocks4 ,&1      
,jean1 j look 9 & tell ,jim ,jackson n  
to buy a new dickie1 w y8  ,! girls     
look$ at ea* o!r d\btfully4  ,ye're j   
funn9'1 said ,jean ) a =c$ laugh4       
,funn+8 ,my de> ,jean1 :5 a girl h&s    
back ! engagem5t r+1 d y mean to tell me
 %e is funn+8  ,*ildr5 live 9 two l&s--!
 l& ( reality & ! l& ( make-believe4 ,a 
s]i\s look w make !m jump f ! "o to !   
o!r4 ,!y look$ at my s]i\s face &       
believ$ t ,m>g>et _h really giv5 me up4 
,!n !y glanc$ at ,m>g>et2 %e laugh$1 &  
_! cl\d$ faces cle>$4 ,i knew t !y w\ld 
try to make me believe t !y /ill        
consid]$ ,i 0 9 e>ne/4  ,aw'll cry 9 &  

tell ,jim aboot ! dickie1 said ,jean4   
,x's a pity ye ord]$ ! w$d9' cake1 said 
,annie4  ,ye c gie x to ! ,me/] to *ri/5
 8 bairn1 sugge/$ ,janet4  ,x'll be ow] 
big1 said ,gladys4  ,aweel1 retort$     
,janet1 he c gie ! half o't to ! ,me/]1 
& maybe ! o!r half w d = ,pet]          
,mit*ell's fun]al4  ,:at6 ,i cri$1 is   
,pet] dead8  ,no exactly1 said ,janet   
hopefully1 b he's badly wi' ! *ronic1 & 
he'll maybe dee4  ,t settles ! "q ( !   
cake1 ,i said1 b y h /ill to settle ! "q
 ( ,m>g>et4  ,%e c m>ry ,joe ,simpson1  
sugge/$ ,ell54  ,aye1 said ,jean1 &     
%e'll hae to "w oot1 & fe$ ! ?ree black 
sw9e4 ,%e wud be bett] to tak ,dave ,"y1
 = he has only twa sw9e to fe$4  ,be an 
auld maid1 ,maggie1 said ,janet1 & keep 
a cat4 ,a man's j a fair scutt] onywve  
444 especially a delicate man t taks    
effiel9za & lies 9 8 b$4 ,ye'll be f>   
bett] z an auld maid1 ,maggie4 ,ye'll no
 hae ony bairns1 b bairns is j a        
nuisance4  ,i'll be an old maid !n1 said
 ,m>g>et4  ,n[ y've dispos$ ( ! cake & !

 lady1 ,i said1 :at is to become ( me8  
,y6 said ,janet4 ,y c be an auld ba*elor
 & live next door to ,maggie1 & %e'll   
s5d a laddie ow] wi' a b[l o' s\p :5 %e 
has s\p to h] d9n]4  ,aye1 said ,gladys1
 & %e'll wa% y] s>ks & m5d y] socks = y4
  ,s\nds z if ,i am to h all ! joys (   
matrimony )\t its sorr[s1 ,i said4 ,i'm 
afraid1 ,m>g>et1 t we'll h to get m>ri$ 
aft] all4 ,! o!r way is too exp5sive3 we
 %\ld require to pay ! r5t ( two h\ses4 
,b1 cri$ ,annie1 if ye get m>ri$ ye'll  
hae bairns to keep1 & !y'll co/ mair ?an
 ! r5t o' two hooses6  ,!n 9 ,heav5's "n
 :at am ,i to d8 ,i cri$ 9 feign$       
p]plexity4  ,janet took ,m>g>et's h& &  
plac$ x 9 m9e4  ,j tak ,maggie1 %e said 
sweetly2 & by ! "t ye hae bairns ,aw'll 
maybe be m>rit mysell1 & ,aw'll mak my  
man s5d ye a ham :5 he kills ! sw9e4  ,s
 ,i plac$ ! r+ on ,m>g>et's f+] & kiss$ 
h]4 ,!n ,i drew ,janet's head d[n &     
kiss$ h] too4  ,eh6 cri$ ,annie1 t's no 
fair6  ,:at d y mean8 ,i ask$4  ,ye've  
kiss$ ,jan1 %e laugh$1 & %e'll maybe tak

 effiel9za &--& get a holiday4  ,!n ,i  
kiss$ ,annie & ! o!rs ?ree times1 & !y  
all w5t out laugh+4 ,! te>s came into my
 eyes 444 b !n ,i 0 weak & ill4         
,,xvii4   ,i object to ! type ( man :o  
practises practical jokes4 ,"y ,mack5zie
 & ,jim ,br[n h j play$ a na/y "o on    
,willie ,baff]s1 ! village lunatic4     
,poor ,willie inv5t$ a new a]oplane2 he 
took an old solid-tyr$ bone%ak] bicycle 
& fix$ fea!rs to ! spokes4 ,mack5zie &  
,br[n inspect$ ! inv5tion1 & told       
,willie t 8 =tune 0 z good z made4      
,next morn+ ! po/ br\ght a lett] to     
,willie f ! ,munitions ,m9i/ry1 (f]+ him
 f\r million p\nds & ?reep5ce hap5ny = !
 pat5t rights1 & ask+ ,willie to meet a 
repres5tative at ! ,royal ,hotel 9 !    
t[n4 ,willie rode ! old bike into t[n1 &
 fea!r$ x 9 ! hotel y>d4 ,mack5zie ) a  
false be>d on1 h&$ him a *eque = ! f\r  
millions1 & ,willie ran ne>ly all !     
eight miles home to tell ( 8 good =tune4
  ,macdonald told me ! y>n to-night z a 
ri* joke1 b ,i fail$ to f9d any hum\r 9 

x4 ,x 0 a l[-d[n trick4  ,good ,"l6 ,i  
cri$1 nei!r ( !m is mu* m intellig5t ?an
 ,willie4 ,any man ( av]age ability c\ld
 take !m 9 z easily z !y took 9 poor    
,baff]s4  ,all ! same1 titt]$           
,macdonald1 ! joke is funny4  ,!re      
always is some?+ funny 9 idiotic ?+s1   
,macdonald4 ,if ,i _h se5 ,willie's     
inv5tion ,i %\ld probably h ro>$2 b !   
glimpse w\ld h satisfi$ me4 ,i ro> at   
,*>lie ,*apl9's idiotic actions1 b ,i   
w\ldn't be s ready to ro> at !m if      
,*>lie 7 really an idiot4 ,any fool c\ld
 sp5d a lifetime play+ jokes on village 
lunatics4 ,i c\ld write ,willie a lett] 
(f]+ him ! comm& on ! ,we/]n front1 &   
sign+ x ',lloyd ,george1' b t sort ( fun
 doesn't appeal to me4  ,i'm diff]5t1   
said ,macdonald4 ,i w\ld ?9k t a good   
joke4 ,y ?9k ,jim ,jackson funny1 on !  
o!r h&1 & ,i ?9k !re's no?+ funny ab\t  
him4  ,:at has he be5 do+ n[8  ,i gave  
!m an essay on _! fav\rite pets ye/]day1
 & he wrote "o ab\t 8 pet bee &         
elephant4  ,:at did he say ab\t !m8     

,oh1 ! ?+ 0 j a piece ( nons5se4 ,he    
said ! bee's "n 0 ,polly1 &--,i h ! ?+ 9
 my desk1 he said1 y c read x = y\rself4
  ,i copi$ ! essay out to-night4 ,"h x  
is3--        ,,polly ,,& ,,pet]4        
,polly is ! "n ( my pet bee1 & ,pet] is 
my elephant4 ,!y are      v fri5dly1    
,polly (t5 sits on ,pet]'s e> b ,pet]   
nev]      sits on ,polly's4 ,!y eat out 
( ! same di%4 ,pet] ate ,polly by       
mi/ake "o day1 b %e /ung him on ! tongue
 & :5 he op5$      8 m\? to ro> %e flew 
out4 ,polly us$ to sleep 9 ,pet]'s      
trunk4 ,"o night he sneez$ & ,polly 0   
ly+ a mile away next      morn+4        
,9 ! summ] "t ,polly lives 9 a wood h\se
 9 ! g>d5 & x      is call$ a hive & t  
is :]e %e keeps ! honey4 ,i take x      
away :5 %e is n look+ & %e ?9ks x is    
,pet] t does      x1 at lea/ %e kicks   
him = x4 ,i h told h] to wat* =         
,zeps4 ,%e sits on ! ro( all night      
wat*+1 %e is to /+ !      ,kais] on !   
nose if he comes4 ,%e is an old maid4   
,%e _h a lad      call$ ,ar*ibald1 b    

fa!r sat on him "o night & !n he swore  
:5 he tri$ to sit d[n = weeks aft]4     
,ar*ibald di$4       ,pet] is a nice    
animal & he has a ?\s& tee?1 b ,polly   
only      has tw5ty4 ,pet] looks l he   
has two tails he wags !m bo? b      !   
front "o is a trunk = eat+4 ,he is an   
awful big eat]4 ,he      says 8 pray]s e
 night & ,i hope he w g to heav5 :5     
he dies4 ,he _h pewmonia & ,polly _h    
p5disitis1 & ! doctor      made an      
op]ation & put 9 n9ete5 /it*es4 ,pet]   
works all      day1 ! road-roll] man is 
at ! w> & ,pet] has to roll ab\t      on
 ! road to bruise ! metal4 ,he fills 8  
trunk ) wat] &      wets ! road fir/4   
,polly tells him :5 ! mot]s are com+4   
,i don't see any?+ funny 9 t1 said      
,macdonald4  ,possibly n1 ,i said1 b    
,jim's idea ( fun isn't ! same z y\rs or
 m9e4 ,a bairn laughs at ludicr\s ?+s3  
,i'm sure ,jim laugh$ :5 he imag9$ !    
sc5e :]e 8 fa!r sat on ,ar*ibald4 ,!    
essay is full ( promise4  ,macdonald h&$
 me ,alec ,h5ry's book4  ,t's a bett]   

essay1 he said4  ,i read ! essay4  ,its 
,engli% is bett]1 ,i said1 ! s5t5ces are
 correctly =m$1 b !re isn't an idea 9 ! 
:ole essay4 ,anybody c describe a pet   
rabbit4  ,t's s1 b composition is meant 
to tea* a boy to write good ,engli%4    
,:at's ! good ( writ+ good ,engli% if y 
hav5't any ideas to write ab\t8 ,i cri$4
 ,e memb] ( ,p>liam5t c write good      
,engli%1 b !re ar5't half-a-doz5 m5 (   
ideas 9 ! ,h\se4 ,p]sonally1 ,i don't   
c>e a damn h[ a boy writes if he %[s he 
is n an av]age boy4 ,jim ,jackson has   
tal5t3 ,alec ,h5ry is a m]e unimag9ative
 cram4 ,y enc\rage ,h5ry & y sit on     
,jim4444 ,i wi% he _h ,ar*ibald's p[] to
 /+ y6  ,b :at is 8 nons5se to lead to8 
he said4  ,we don't "k4 ,z dom9ies our  
job is to enc\rage ,jim 9 8 natural b5t4
 ,x is en\gh = u t he is diff]5t f !    
s*ol>ly ,h5ry4 ,we h a good idea ( :at  
,alec w come to2 we "k no?+ ab\t ,jim4  
,y h tri$ to fit ,jim into ! ,alec m\ld1
 & y h fail$4  ,jim knew t y 7 on 8     
side1 gr[l$ ,macdonald4  ,i suppose he  

did1 ,macdonald4 ,b y h got all ! o!rs2 
surely y don't grudge me ,jim & ! five  
girls8  ,t's all "r1 he said ) a %ort   
laugh1 ,i've giv5 up woo+ !m4 ,i all[   
,jim to *oose 8 own l9e n[ 444 b ,i'll  
nev] l ! laddie4                        
99       99       99  ,i h always       
dislik$ all ! pomp & circum/ance (      
w$d+s4 ,m>g>et want$ a quiet w$d+ be=e a
 regi/r> b h] fa!r 0 eag] to make a fete
 ( ! occasion1 & we all[$ him to h 8    
way4 ,besides ,jim & ! girls 7 expect+ a
 great day4  ,i c't say t ,i enjoy$ my  
w$d+4 ,! bairns seem$ to h lo/ _!       
id5tity :5 !y donn$ _! w$d+ g>m5ts4 ,jim
 sat on ! dickey beside ! driv]2 !re 0  
pride 9 8 face b 8 smile 0 gone4 ,!     
occasion 0 too great = him4 ,! girls    
/ood ab\t ! d9+-room 9 awkw>d attitudes1
 & ,i not$ ! f9e ,engli% ( _! spee*4  ,&
 ,jim fail$ at ! w$d+-fea/4 ,"p ( 8 duty
 0 to propose ! heal? ( ! bridesmaids1 &
 :5 ! m9i/] call$ ^u him = 8 spee* he   
fl$ f ! room4 ,pet] ,mac,mannish propos$
 ! toa/ in/ead4  ,m>g>et & ,i set (f 9 a

 hir$ motor 9 ! aft]noon4 ,we 7 go+ to  
,london4 ,:5 we rea*$ ! /ation ,m>g>et  
sudd5ly said3 ,if only we c\ld h /ay$ = 
! dance to-night6  ,yes1 ,i said1 !     
bairns w be 9 =m to-night4  ,we %\ld    
really be !re1 cont9u$ ,m>g>et sadly1   
x's our dance y "k4  ,& "h we are go+ (f
 to a hotel among /rang]s1 ,m>g>et6     
,m>g>et clut*$ my arm4  ,let's g back1  
%e said eag]ly1 we'll sp5d ! fir/ bit ( 
our honeymoon 9 ! de> old bo?y6  ,i     
beckon$ to a taxi-driv]4  ,z we drove up
 ! brae to ! f>m ,m>g>et laugh$4  ,d y  
"k :at ,i am laugh+ at8 %e said4 ,i 0   
?9k+ ab\t y com+ back4 ,x's a sort (    
habit ( y\rs com+ back1 isn't x8 ,y     
don't c>e = me "o bit2 y are 9 love )   
,janet & ,annie4  ,:o propos$ com+ back1
 madam8  ,i did1 %e cri$ 9 great glee3  
,i notic$ t y didn't seem ke5 on buy+ ! 
tickets1 & ,i knew y didn't want to g4  
,:5 we walk$ into ! d9+-room !re 0      
con/]nation4 ,m>g>et's "m w5t v :ite4   
,:at's wrong8 %e /amm]$4  ,goad6 ,!y've 
qu>rell$ already6 exclaim$ ,pet]        

,mac,mannish 9 a ho>se :isp]4  ,did ye  
miss ! tra98 ask$ ,janet4  ,no1 ,jan1 we
 miss$ ! supp]1 & we made up our m9ds t 
x 0 too good to miss4 ,we're go+ to d an
 orig9al ?+2 we're go+ to dance at our  
own w$d+4  ,! blacksmi? /ruck up a      
waltz1 & my wife & ,i waltz$ r\nd !     
room4 ,i don't ?9k t a w$d+ p>ty 0 ev] s
 jolly z ours4  ,! bairns escort$ u to  
our bo?y at two 9 ! morn+1 & ,m>g>et    
insi/$ on giv+ !m a cup ( tea be=e !y   
w5t home4  ,janet look$ r\nd ! wee room4
  ,eh1 ,maggie1 :at an awfu' place to   
sp5d y] honeymoon 96  ,yes1 said        
,m>g>et1 t's :at comes ( m>ry+ a mean   
man4 ,x's disgraceful1 isn't x1 ,jan8   
,:at d ye ca' x :5 ye /op be9' m>ri$8   
ask$ ,annie4  ,a divorce1 ,i said4  ,&  
is !re a fe$ at a divorce8 ask$ ,jim )  
an int]e/$ expression4  ,no1 ,jim2 y are
 f$ up be=e ! divorce proce$+s4  ,aw wud
 divorce him1 ,maggie1 said ,annie4     
,x's difficult1 laugh$ ,m>g>et4  ,ye cud
 say he wudna gie ye a prop] honeymoon1 
put 9 ,gladys4  ,annie sat d[n on my    

knee4  ,:y did ye come back8 %e ask$4   
,i came back to f9d out h[ y p]=m$ y\r  
duties1 ,annie4 ,i'll beg9 ) ! be/ man4 
,jim ,jackson1 give an acc\nt ( y\r     
/ew>d%ip4  ,aw _h ?ree help9's o' !     
plum-duff1 twa o' ! apple-pie1 ?ree o'  
!--  ,i'm n tak+ an inv5tory ( y\r      
int]ior furni%+s1 ,i said sev]ely2 :at  
,i want to "k is :e!r y p]=m$ y\r       
duties4 ,did y kiss ! bridesmaids8  ,eh6
 gasp$ ,janet1 he'd bett] try6  ,d y    
mean to tell me he didn't8 ,i dem&$4    
,aw _h a brok5-oot lip1 said ,jim       
apologetically1 & ,aw didna want to smit
 onybody4  ,& ! bairn next door to oor  
hoose has ! measles1 he add$ ha/ily4  ,&
 ,aw lookit at a book aboot etikquette &
 x didna say ony?+ aboot kiss9' !       
bridesmaids4  ,! bridesmaids didna want 
to kiss y] dirty moo1 onywye1 ,jim      
,jackson1 said ,janet4  ,aw've got a    
bett] moo ?an ,tam ,rigg1 onywye1 said  
,jim *e]fully4  ,janet gaz$ at 8 m\?    
curi\sly4  ,y\r's is bigg]1 onywye4     
,n[1 n[1 ,i said1 don't y set a newly   

m>ri$ c\ple a bad example by qu>rell+4  
,i turn$ to ,jean4  ,:at did y ?9k ( !  
w$d+1 ,jean8  ,jean grat1 said ,gladys1 
& s did ,jan4 ,:at 0 ye greet9' aboot8  
,aw d9na k51 said ,jean simply4 ,aw saw 
,maggie's "m greet9' s ,aw j began to   
greet too4 ,:at 0 y] "m greet9' =1      
,maggie8  ,i don't "k1 ,jean4  ,aw ?9k  
%e _h ! tee?a*e1 said ,jim1 cos ,aw he>d
 ! m9i/] say to h] to try a drap o'     
:iskey4  ,x wasna ! tee?a*e1 said ,annie
 scornfully1 b ,aw k5 :y %e grat4  ,to  
mak f[k ?9k %e 0 s fond o' ,maggie t %e 
didna want h] to g+ awa1 sugge/$        
,gladys4  ,na x wasna1 said ,annie1 %e  
maybe 0 ?9k9' o' ,maggie's aulde/ si/]  
,jean t dee'd :5 %e 0 saxte54  ,g'wa1   
cri$ ,jim1 x's ! fa%ion to greet at a   
m>riage & a burial1 b ye d9na greet at a
 *ri/59'4  ,:y no8 ask$ ,jean4  ,cos ye 
wudna be he>d3 ! bairn greets a' ! "t4  
,janet glanc$ at ,m>g>et4  ,t'll be !   
next p>ty1 %e said brightly1 ! *ri/59'4 
,did ye keep ! top /orey o' ! cake1     
,maggie8  ,m>g>et blu%$ at ?is4  ,janet 

seiz$ h] by ! %\ld]s4  ,ye ne$na tak a  
reid face1 = ,aw k5 f9e t ye did keep a 
bit o' ! cake = ! *ri/59'4 ,ye'll no ne$
 to keep x long or x'll get h>d6  ,jan1 
cri$ ,jean1 reprov+ly ye %ud na say sic 
?+s6  ,:y no8 ,! m9i/] said some?+ aboot
 a family :5 he 0 m>ry9' !m4  ,aye1 said
 ,jean1 b a m9i/]'s no l o!r f[k4 ,if   
,me/] ,gordon says ',hell' or           
'damnation' 9 ! pulpit x's religion1 b  
if y say x x's j a swe>4  ,aw 0 at !    
manse :5 ! m9i/] fell ov] my b>r[1 said 
,jim1 & he said ',hell6' ,0 t religion  
or a swe>8  ,aw wud ca' x a lee1 said   
,jean ) a sniff2 only m9i/]s & m>ri$ f[k
 %ud speak aboot bairns1 & ye %ud k5    
bett]1 ,jan4  ,janet look$ at me        
timidly4  ,did ,aw d any wrong8  ,(     
c\rse y didn't1 y de> silly6 ,jean is a 
wee prude4 ,:y %\ldn't y talk ab\t      
bairns if y want to8 ,! subject ( bairns
 is ! only important subject 9 ! _w1    
,jan1 & if y f9d anyone :o ?9ks !       
subject improp] y c bet y\r boots t     
!y've got a dirty m9d4 ,jean is simply  

try+ to foll[ ! conv5tions ( all ! /upid
 gr[n-ups 9 ! village4  ,^! bairns are  
all innoc5t4 ,:5 ,i look$ at ,jim's     
composition book ! o!r day ,i read an   
essay ) ! title ,! ,*ur*4 ,jim did n    
describe ! *ur*3 he describ$ an ev5t 9 !
 *ur*--8 own m>riage4 ,he 0 an (fic] on 
%ort leave f ! ,front4 ,he describ$ !   
c]emony1 !n he w5t on3--,i sp5t my      
honeymoon 9 ,ed9burgh & a wire came     
tell+ me to g back to ! tr5*es4 ,?ree   
weeks lat] ,i 0 w\nd$ & s5t home & f\nd 
t my wife _h _h a baby4  ,i wrote at !  
end ( ! essay ,! spe$+-up me?ods (      
,am]ica are bad en\gh :5 appli$ to      
indu/ry1 b4444  ,!y are innoc5t s\ls1 & 
already ,jean is affect$ by ! damnable  
conspiracy ( sil5ce4 ,& ! amus+ ?+ is t 
!re is no?+ to be sil5t ab\t4           
99       99       99  ,! ,educational   
,in/itute has s5t a deputation to       
,london to conf] ) ! ,secret>y = ,scotl&
 on educational re=m4 ,! deputies dwelt 
on l>g] areas1 ! rais+ ( ! s*ool age1 & 
! rais+ ( ! sal>ies ( ! pr(ession4 ,mr4 

,t5nant answ]$ !m at l5g? 9 gu>d$       
language4 ,"p ( ,! ,scotsman report runs
 ?us3--  ,ask$ by ,mr4 ,mac,gillivray = 
8 views on ! sugge/ion t ! s*ool age    
%\ld be rais$ to fifte51 ! ,secret>y =  
,scotl& said t1 h[ev] desirable t might 
be 9 ! int]e/s ( ! *ild1 x 0 a highly   
controv]sial proposal1 ^u :i* employ]s &
 9 _m cases p>5ts1 & ev5 ! ,/ate1 w\ld h
 a great deal to say4 ,! exp5diture     
involv$ w\ld1 he 0 afraid1 make su* a   
proposal prohibitive at pres5t4  ,x is  
significant to note t he places !       
employ]s fir/1 j z 9 8 previ\s rem>ks on
 education he places trade fir/4444 ,p  
realis$ t if we 7 go+ to compete 9 !    
great m>kets ( ! _w1 9 ideas1 9 !       
progress ( inv5tion1 & 9 ! g5]al        
progress ( mank9d & civilisation1 we mu/
 improve our ma*9]y = ! tra9+ & equipm5t
 ( ! human be+4  ,! ,educational        
,in/itute ( ,scotl&1 l ! ,trade ,unions1
 is v humble 9 its dem&s4 ,:y1 9 ! "n ( 
heav51 ask = l>g] areas8 ,mr4 ,t5nant   
rightly repli$ t x 0 news to him t !    

,c\nty ,c\ncil is a m progressive body  
?an ! small ,s*ool ,bo>d4 ,introduce    
l>g] areas & y\r village pig-deal] &    
%oemak] give place to y\r c\nty colonel 
& manufactur] 444 ! m5 :o are int]e/$ 9 
! ma9t5ance ( discipl9e & ( wage-slav]y4
 ,:at ! ,in/itute %\ld really d is to   
give up ?9k+ & talk+ ( education = ?is  
g5]ation4 ,! lead+ memb]s come f our    
l>ge city s*ools1 & if !y hav5't yet    
realis$ t _! damn$ s*ools are factories 
= turn+ out slaves !y ought to be jolly 
well a%am$ ( !mselves4  ,i visit$ a l>ge
 city s*ool a few days ago4 ,x _h n9e   
hundr$ pupils1 & x 0 f\r /ories high4 ,!
 playgr\nd 0 a small concrete corn]2 !  
discipl9e 0 l prison discipl9e2 ! rooms 
7 d+y s\l-de/roy+ cages4 ,h[ d>e !      
tea*]s ( ,scotl& ask t ! s*ool age be   
rais$ to fifte5 :5 our city s*ools are  
b>racks l t8 ,i w\ld h ! age l[]$ to six
 if ^! prisons are to cont9ue4  ,"o ( ! 
delegates1 ,mr4 ,c[an1 %[$ t he 0 look+ 
at education 9 a broad light4           
,education1 he said1 if x is to be real1

 is b\nd up ) ! que/ions ( h\s+1 public 
heal?1 m$ical treatm5t1 & ! l2 444 h5ce 
education %\ld be 9 ! h&s ( "s body t   
w\ld view ! matt] z a :ole 444 viz41 !  
,c\nty ,c\ncil4  ,he might h add$ t     
education is prim>ily b\nd up )         
pr(ite]+4 ,our city s*ools are          
necess>ily adjuncts to our factories &  
our slums2 ! dom9ie is cle>ly ! s]vant (
 ! capitali/ 444 & ! poor devil doesn't 
"k x4 ,x's absolutely useless to talk ( 
l>g] areas & l>g] sal>ies & l>g] *ildr52
 ! fundam5tal fact is t capital calls ! 
tune1 & l>g] areas w d z mu* = education
 z t9k]+ ) ! saddle spr+ ( a motor-bike 
w d = a seiz$ eng9e be>+4  ,l>g] sal>ies
 w attract bett] m5 & wom5 to !         
pr(ession1 says ! ,in/itute             
repres5tative1 & ,i ask we>ily3 ,:at    
diff]5ce w t make8 ,y'll m]ely get      
hon\rs graduates to d ! pr(ite]'s dirty 
"w m effectively4 ,y c't re=m ! s*ools f
 )94 ,! prisons are built1 & y w m]ely  
tempt y\r highly specialis$ tea*] into a
 s\l-de/roy+ hell4 ,! slums & ! sweat+ w

 g on z usual next door2 y\r city *ildr5
 w be />v$ & ragg$ & diseas$ z ( yore4  
,i ?9k x a pity t ?is deputation ev] w5t
 to ! ,scots ,secret>y at all4 ,:y %\ld 
! tea*+ pr(ession g begg+ fav\rs f !    
,/ate8 ,! wise bus9ess m5 :o rule u w   
smile grimly & say3--,! blight]s gave   
!mselves away :5 !y ask$ = l>g] sal>ies4
 ,!y won't appreciate ! fact t !        
deputies 7 hone/ m5 ) a real desire = a 
bett] education4  ,i %\ld l to sugge/ to
 ! ,in/itute t x might h writt5 a nice  
lett] to ,mr4 ,t5nant4 ,:y1 bless me1   
,i'll h a %ot at compos+ "o myself6 ,"h 
goes6        ,de> ,mr4 ,t5nant1         
,we ar5't ask+ any fav\rs ?is "t2 we are
 simply writ+ y      a fri5dly lett]    
tell+ y :at we are go+ to d4            
,fir/ly1 we are n[ beg9n+ to make a     
det]m9$ attempt to take      ov] !      
control ( ,scots ,education 444 & we'll 
succe$ ev5 if      we h to g on /rike = 
our rights4 ,our ,educational ,in/itute 
w become ! ,scots ,guild ( ,tea*]s 444 a
 sort ( polite ,trade      ,union1 y "k1

 j l ! ,m$ic9e ,union & ! ,law          
,union--only m s4 ,is t q cle>8         
,well1 our ,guild1 :5 x is /rong en\gh1 
w come up to t[n      "o f9e morn+ to   
see ! ,cab9et4 ,our words w be some?+   
l ^!3 ',we are ! ,tea*]s' ,guild (      
,scotl&1 old de>s1 &      we've come to 
tell y t we're go+ to run ! %[ n[4'     
,( c\rse ! ,cab9et w get a %ock at fir/4
 ,!n !y w      laugh & say3 ',we wi% y  
luck6 ,by ! way h[ d y propose to       
get ! money8' ,& :5 we answ] t we expect
 to get x f      ! ,/ate !y w ro> )     
mir?4 ,we %all wait politely till      !
 laugh is ov]1 & !n we %all calmly tell 
!m our proposal      444 r1 our dem&4   
,we %all dem& money f ! ,/ate to        
c>ry on ! :ole ?+4 ,education isn't a   
pr(ite]+ affair1      & we mu/ draw e   
p5ny f ! p 444 j z ! ,/ate      does n[4
       ,!n a memb] 7,lloyd ,george 9 all
 probability7 w rem>k3 ',yes1      yes1 
g5tlem51 b don't y see t all y\r dem&   
am\nts to      is a *ange ( managem5t8  
,y want to aboli% ! ,education          

,dep>tm5t & sub/itute y\r ,presid5t = my
 fri5d ,sir ,john      ,/ru!rs4'        
,we %all %\t ',no6' v v vici\sly at ?is 
444 y've he>d      !m %\t ',no' :5 !y s+
 ',= he's a jolly good fell[8'          
,well1 !n1 we'll %\t x j l t1 & !n we'll
 expla9      ?us3--       ,we ar5't go+ 
9 = a *ange ( managem5t3 we are go+ to  
build a new h\se4 ,we are done ) grants 
& ,=m #i ,b's &      inspectors &       
,supplem5t>y ,classes = ev]4 ,we are go+
 to      sp5d4444 ,oh6 su* a lot (      
money4 ,y'll be surpris$ :5 y      "k   
:at we are go+ to d4 ,y "k ,dundee8 ,mr4
 ,*ur*ill !re      made x fam\s4444     
well1 ,dundee1 is "o ( ! dirtie/ slums 9
      creation4 ,at pres5t x has lots ( 
big grey s*ools4 ,we are go+      to    
knock 'em d[n4 ,aft] t we are go+ to    
build bonny wee      s*ools out 9 !     
c\ntry2 s*ools t won't hold m ?an a     
hundr$ pupils4 ,!re w be lovely g>d5s & 
ponds &      rabbit-h\ses2 !re w be food
 &--4' ,at ?is /age ! ,cab9et      w    
telephone = ! lunacy exp]ts4       ,d we

 make ourselves cle>1 ,mr4 ,t5nant8 ,z y
 "k well !      ,/ate w be t]ribly      
unwill+ to give u m money4 ,if we make  
our s*ools dec5t places ! poor pr(ite]s 
w be 9 ! s\p1      won't !y8 ,our pres5t
 s*ools d no h>m2 ! discipl9e ( !       
classroom prep>es a bright lad = !      
discipl9e ( ! wag]y      %op1 &1 (      
c\rse1 a girl accu/om$ to ! atmosph]e ( 
a city      s*ool won't object to !     
v5tilation obta9+ 9 ! factory4      ,:5 
we insi/ on tak+ ! kiddies to bonny wee 
s*ools !      pr(ite] w realise ) dismay
 t 8 factory & 8      slum-hovels w h to
 adapt !mselves to ! new attitude (     
! kids4       ,m9d y1 we q admit t we're
 go+ to h a hell ( a      fight4 ,we ev5
 g ! l5g? ( say+ t we may be beat5 at   
fir/2 = we h no economic p[]1 & ! m5 ) !
 economic      p[] w cru% u if !y c4    
,our only weapon w be !      /rike1 b   
ev5 ! /rike w1 9 a mann]1 be play+ into 
!      pr(ite]s' h&s2 ',gee:iz6' !y'll  
cry1 '! tea*]s are on      /rike 444 n[ 
= *eap *ild lab\r6' ,our only hope is t 

!      citiz5s w realise ! importance ( 
a dom9ies' rebellion4       ,n[1 we     
don't want y to take ?is lett] z a      
p]sonal insult1      or ev5 z a vote (  
c5sure4 ,y may be ( op9ion t ,scots     
education is q safe 9 ! h&s ( !         
,secret>y = ,scotl&1      & y may imag9e
 t we've got pr(ite]+ on ! bra94 ,we    
h4 ,b we c't agree ) y t education is   
safe 9 !      h&s ( ! ,secret>y =       
,scotl&4 ,:y1 y might get ano!r      po/
 to-morr[1 & y\r colleague ,runciman    
might /ep into y\r      job4 ,& x 0 only
 ! o!r day t he 0 def5d+      w>-pr(its 
on ! gr\nd t !y 7 =m+ a fund to compete 
) neutral trade aft] ! w>4 ,! wor/ ( y  
political      fell[s is t y've all got 
pr(ite]+ on ! bra91 j l      u 444 only1
 x's a natural heal?y gr[? 9 y\r case1  
:ile 9      our case x is a malignant   
tum\r4 ,we've got pr(ite]+ ?ru/      ^u 
u1 s to speak2 y fell[s 7 born ) x4     
,well1 well1 isn't ?is rott5 wea!r1 :at8
       ,be/ wi%es to ,mrs4 ,t5nant4     
,y\rs s9c]ely1      ,! ,educational     

,in/itute ( ,scotl&4                    
99       99       99  ,jim came to !    
bo?y la/ night1 & 8 face 0 tr\bl$4      
,:at's ! matt]8 ,i ask$4  ,aw--,aw didna
 gie ye a m>riage pres5t1 he /amm]$1 ,aw
 didna hae ony money4  ,! pres5t ,m>g>et
 & ,i want f y doesn't co/ money1 ,i    
said2 we want y to write a description (
 ! w$d+4  ,he bright5$ at once4  ,c ,aw 
tell lees8 he ask$ eag]ly4  ,please     
y\rself1 ,i said1 & he w5t away *e]ful4 
,?is morn+ ! description came by po/4 ,i
 ?9k ,i %all make x ! la/ entry 9 my    
di>y4                             99    
99       99  ,,! ,,m>riage ,,( ,,mr4    
,,neill ,,& ,,maggie ,,?omson4  ,by     
,,james ,,jackson1 ,esq41 ,b4,m4 7,be/  
,man74  ,!y 7 m>ri$ on ,friday & ,i 0 ! 
be/ man4 ,janet & ,annie & ,jean &      
,gladys & ,ell5 7 ! bridesmaids1 b !y 7 
too _m to kiss4 ,!y got a pres5t ea*1 a 
r+ ) diamonds 9 x1 b ,i don't ?9k !     
diamonds 7 real ones4 ,i got a knife )  
f\r blades & a corkscrew & a file & a ?+
 = tak+ ?+s out ( horses' feet1 & ,i _h 

a fight ) ,geordie ,br[n = say+ x didn't
 h a pair ( scissors 9 x & ,i lick$ him1
 b !re 0 no scissors 9 x4  ,_! 0 a lot (
 p _! & "s ( ! wom5 0 cry+ & we got     
apple-pie & plum-duff = our d9n]4       
,maggie _h a :ite dress on & ,mr4 ,neill
 _h a black soot on ) tails on ! coat & 
a big wide wai/coat b y c\ldn't see !   
end ( 8 dickey = ,i look$4 ,he _h cuffs 
on too4 ,i lik$ ! plum-duff1 b ,i lik$ !
 w$d+ cake be/ b y only got a little bit
 ( x4 ,! girls kept _! bit to sleep on &
 h nice dreams b ,i ate m9e & _h dreams 
too b !y 7 n nice dreams4 ,i dreamt t an
 elephant 0 sitt+ on my head4  ,i _h a  
ride on ! dickey to fet* ! p & !re 0 a  
:ite ribbon on ! :ip & ! horses 0 gray4 
,i _h to scatt] ! p5nies & sweeties &   
,tommy ,sword ?rew a bit ( e>? at me &  
,i w\ld h f\ght him b ,i didn't want to 
clorty my clean dickey4  ,! m>riage     
s]amany 0 n v int]e/+ & ,i _h to c>ry ! 
r+ & x 0 9 my wai/coat poo* b ,i pret5d$
 to look fir/ 9 my breek poo*es & _h to 
empty !m on ! table4 ,i j want$ !m to   

see my new knife4  ,i made a spee* ab\t 
! bridesmaids & ,i said !y 7 all v nice 
girls b !y are n = ,janet is always     
fight+ ) me1 %e w make an awful wife :5 
%e is m>ri$4  ,! happy cupel w5t away 9 
a mot] = !re honeymoon b !y came back   
aga9 at night & ,geordie ,br[n says t x 
0 a t9k]'s m>riage because he did n h   
en\gh money to g 9 ! tra94 ,m>?a ,f9dlay
 said t !y came back because he 0 a%am$ 
to take ,maggie to ,london because %e is
 j a f>m]'s daught] & ,i told h] %e 0   
wrong because !y came back because he   
gets a sixp5ny pap] s5t by ! po/ e      
,saturday morn+ & he w\ld h _h to buy "o
 to read 9 ! tra91 b ,i don't ?9k %e    
believ$ me1 %e is a jelus cat & %e is j 
wild because ,maggie has got a man4     
,!re 0 a p>ty at night & ,i drank sev5  
bottles ( lemonade & ,frank ,?omson sang
 a song & ,pet] ,mac,mannish tri$ to s+ 
a song at ! same "t & ,mrs4 ,?omson told
 me to put ! bottle at ! o!r end ( !    
table1 !y 7 n v good s+]s1 ,pet] sang   
five songs aft] "o ano!r s ,mrs4 ,?omson

 told me to put ! bottle beside him aga9
 & he /opp$ s++4 ,he did n s+ aga9 b he 
w5t r\nd tell+ ev]ybody t he 0 n drunk  
?\gh nobody said he 04 ,i always ?\ght t
 he 0 a v /]n man b ,i lik$ him at !    
dance4  ,mr4 ,macdonald 0 !re b he did n
 s+ & he did n get a dr9k out ( ! bottle
 b ,mrs4 ,?omson took him into ! p>l\r &
 !n %e came back = ! bottle4 ,aft] t he 
0 a nice man n l he is 9 ! s*ool1 he 0  
laugh+ & danc+ l any?+4 ,he 0 9 ! p>l\r 
f\r times4  ,!n we sang ,auld ,lang     
,syne & ,pet] ,mc,mannish said he w\ld  
s+ x by himself j to %[ u t he 0 n drunk
 b he fell asleep be=e he got />t$ to ! 
fir/ v]se4  ,aft] x 0 f9i%$ ! happy     
cupel w5t ov] to ! bo?y to !re honeymoon
 & ,m>?a ,f9dlay said x made ! m>riage  
common & t anybody c\ld h a bo?y = a    
honeymoon1 s ,i j said to h] ,oh1 aye1  
,m>?a1 ye'll likely sp5d y\r own        
honeymoon 9 a bo?y b y won't get an     
,m4,a4 ) a dickey t y canna see ! end ( 
= a man1 b ,m>g>et des]v$ him = %e is s 
bonny4 ,m>?a 0 awful wild at me4        

,geordie ,br[n says t ! be/ man at !    
m>riage has to hold ! baby at ! *ri/n9 b
 x does n say any?+ 9 ! etikquette book1
 & ,i telt him he 0 a li>4 ,he said x   
w\ld maybe be tw9s & ,i got a black eye 
b he lo/ ?ree tee?4 ,i hop x w n be tw9s
 because ,i said ,i w\ld give ,geordie  
my knife if x 0 tw9s4  ,p4,s4--,please d
 n h ! tw9s4   ,,! ,,end4               
,,adv]tisem5ts   ,,by ,,! ,,same ,,au?or
   #a ,a ,,dom9ie ,,abroad       ,always
 orig9al1 ,a4 ,s4 ,neill1 ! au?or ( ,a  
,dom9ie's ,log1      decid$ to f\nd at  
,hell]au a s*ool :i* %\ld embody !      
educational be/ ( all nations4 ,he b\ght
 a diction>y to le>n      ! language1 & 
a notebook to record 8 impressions4     
,he rema9s a rebel2 b he is n[ a        
con/ructive rebel4 ,cr[n #hvo4          
,price #es4 net4   #b ,a ,,dom9ie',s    
,,log       ,! ,exp]i5ces ( ,an         
,unconv5tional ,s*oolma/]4 ,by ,a4 ,s4  
,neill1      ,m4,a4 ,cr[n #hvo4         
,price #bs4 #f;d4 net4                  
,,times3--,x is to be hop$ t we h n he>d

 ! la/ ( ?is      au?or4                
,,bookman3--,a book t is delightful z   
well z pr(itable to      read4   #c ,a  
,,dom9ie ,,9 ,,d\bt       ,by ,a4 ,s4   
,neill1 ,m4,a4       #bs4 #f;d4 net4    
,,by/&]4--,a ,dom9ie 9 ,d\bt is "o ( !  
mo/ delightful      books ,i h read = "s
 "t4   #d ,,! ,,boom+ ,,( ,,bunkie      
,a novel ( laught]4 ,by ,a4 ,s4 ,neill4 
,popul> ,edition4 ,cr[n #hvo4       #bs4
 #f;d4 net4       ,,scotsman4--,a ri*ly 
amus+ skit4       ,,bookman4--,a        
?or\ghly amus+ & f>cical /ory4   #e     
,,c>roty ,,broon       ,a novel full (  
dry ,scot* hum\r & wit4 ,by ,a4 ,s4     
,neill1 ,m4,a4       #bs4 #f;d4 net4    
,,pall ,,mall ,,gazette4--,a really     
fir/-rate /ory4       ,,tru?4--,a racy  
little book1 h>d to beat4   ,,h]b]t     
,,j5k9s1 ,,ltd41 #c1 ,,york ,,/41 ,,/4  
,,james',s1 ,s4,w4#a   ,a ,,new         
,,humori/  ,a ,,dom9ie',s ,,log  ,,!    
,,exp]i5ces ,,( ,,an ,,unconv5tional    
,,s*oolma/]4  ,by ,a4 ,s4 ,,neill1      
,m4,a4 ,cr[n #hvo4 ,price #bs4 #f;d4    

net4 ,po/age #d;d4 extra4   ,,"s ,,e>ly 
,,reviews4  ,,ev5+ ,,news4--,mo/        
decid$ly a book to buy4  ,,ev]yman4--,a 
delightfully unconv5tional s*oolma/]4   
,,times4--,x is to be hop$ t we h n he>d
 ! la/ ( ! au?or4  ,,graphic4--,if y    
want to "k :at might be done buy ',a    
,dom9ie's ,log4'  ,,briti% ,,weekly4--,a
 bright & lively acc\nt ( a ,scotti%    
s*oolma/]'s life4  ,,sunday ,,times4--,!
 book is "o t %\ld be read4 ,= x is full
 ( illum9at+ ?\ght4  ,,bookman4--,a book
 t is delightful z well z pr(itable to  
read4 ,no "o :o beg9s x w leave x half  
f9i%$4  ,,cl>ion4--,i want e "o to buy  
',a ,dom9ie's ,log4' ,!re is a laugh to 
e page & a valuable ?\ght to e l9e4     
,,daily ,,telegraph4--,no?+ bett] wor?  
half-a-cr[n has come "o's way 9 ^! times
 ( economy4   ,,h]b]t ,,j5k9s1 ,,ltd41  
#ab1 ,,arundel ,,place1 ,s4,w4   ,,h]b]t
 ,,j5k9s'  ,gre5 ,label ,novels   #a ,,!
 ,,adv5tures ,,( ,,sally       ,a new   
book ( laught] by ,p4 ,g4 ,wodeh\se1    
au?or ( ,jill !      ,reckless1         

,piccadilly ,jim1 etc4       #gs4 #f;d4 
net4   #b ,,ra*el ,,bl&',s ,,inh]itance 
,by ,w4 ,riley1 au?or ( ,w9dyridge4 ,a  
p[]ful /ory ( ,york%ire      life & "*4 
#gs4 #f;d4 net4   #c ,,an ,,ord9>y      
,,c\ple       ,a novel by ,j4 ,e4       
,buckrose1 deal+ ) ! dome/ic exp]i5ces  
&      adv5tures ( a newly m>ri$ pair4  
,cr[n #hvo4       #gs4 #f;d4 net4   #d  
,,! ,,return ,,( ,,clubfoot       ,by   
,val5t9e ,williams1 au?or ( ,! ,man ) ! 
,clubfoot1      fur!r adv5tures (       
,desmond ,okewood on an isl& 9 !        
,pacific4       #gs4 #f;d4 net4   #e ,,!
 ,,return ,,( ,,blue ,,pete       ,ano!r
 ?rill+ adv5ture ( ! fam\s ,blue ,pete &
 8 horse1      ,:isk]s4 ,by ,luke       
,allan1 au?or ( ,blue ,pete3            
,half-,bre$4       #gs4 #f;d4 net4   #f 
,! ,,my/]i\s ,mr4 ,,g>l&       ,ano!r   
,an?ony ,tr5t ,/ory by ,wyndham ,m>tyn1 
au?or ( ,an?ony      ,tr5t1 ,ma/]       
,crim9al1 & ,! ,secret ( ! ,silv] ,c>4  
#g ,,! ,,smuggl$ ,,ma/]piece       ,a   
com$y novel by ,edg> ,jepson1 au?or ( ,!

 ,:isk]$ ,footman1      full ( hum\r &  
dramatic incid5t4       #gs4 #f;d4 net4 
#h ,,! ,,maz>(f ,,murd]       ,by ,j4   
,s4 ,flet*]1 au?or ( ,! ,m>k5more       
,my/]y4 ,:o kill$      ,mr4 ,maz>(f1 &  
:y did x become kn[n z ! ,maz>(f affair 
?r\gh\t ?ree cont95ts4 ,by ,j4 ,s4      
,flet*]4       #gs4 #f;d4 net4   #i ,,! 
,,h\se ,,( ,,m>ney       ,by ,john      
,goodw91 au?or ( ,)\t ,m]cy4 ,! ya*t+   
adv5ture      gives a new atmosph]e to  
?is /rik+ drama ( ! ,ea/ ,coa/4         
#gs4 #f;d4 net4   ,,h]b]t ,,j5k9s'  ,new
 ,popul> ,novels  #c_/f net   #a        
,,klondyke ,,kit',s ,,rev5ge       ,by  
,george ,good*ild1 au?or ( ,colorado    
,jim4 ,out 9 ! icy      solitudes (     
,klondyke1 ,kit closes ! eyes ( 8 pal1 &
 pockets      a scrap ( pap] t appo9ts  
him ! dead man's heir4       ,he comes  
to ,engl& to claim 8 inh]itance1 & f9ds 
to 8      a/oni%m5t t x comprises an    
enorm\s e/ate1 & t o!rs      are 9      
possession4 ,he decides to wait & wat*4 
,9 ! process he      falls 9 love4      

,klondyke ,kit's ,rev5ge has all !      
dramatic qualities ( t      great popul>
 success1 ,colorado ,jim4   #b ,,!      
,,secret ( ! ,,s&hills       ,by ,ar?ur 
,gask4 ,9 %abby clo?s & fray$ coll>1    
,john ,/ratton      /ood wat*+ ! life & 
bu/le outside ! po/ (fice1      consci\s
 t 8 position 0 desp]ate4 ,a grey       
motor-c>1 a      pretty girl1 & a dropp$
 pocket-book1 tempor>ily s5d up 8       
/ock4       ,!n comes ! murd] on ,h5ley 
,bea*1 ! police1 &--dang]4      ,john   
,/ratton has to confess t he is 9 r a   
tight corn]2      b !re are always !    
blue eyes ( ! girl 9 ! grey c>4   #c    
,,confessions ,,( ,,mrs4 ,,may       ,by
 ,t4 le ,breton1 au?or ( ,mrs4 ,may4    
,mrs4 ,may is a typical      cockney1 ) 
a cockney's dislike ( be+ put ^u4 ,to   
call h]      a woman1 or ev5 a *>woman1 
is to e>n h] undy+ enmity4       ,%e has
 v cle>ly def9$ views on life1 & h] own 
rights4 ,9      h] confessions %e tells 
( "s fur!r episodes 9 h] c>e]4       ,i 
reckon ,i've a 'ead on me1 says ,mrs4   

,may1 & !re are few :o      w\ld v5ture 
to "q ! /atem5t1 p>ticul>ly z %e has a  
brawny arm & an abs5t-m9d$ habit ( roll+
 up h] sleeves4   ,a full li/ ( ! fam\s 
,gre5 ,label popul> novels w be s5t on  
application to ,h]b]t ,j5k9s1 ,ltd41    
,?ree1 ,york ,/reet1 ,/4 ,james's1      
,london1 ,s4,w4#a4   ,,h]b]t ,,j5k9s'   
,new ,popul> ,novels  #b_/f net   #a    
,mc,p,h,e,e       ,a football /ory by   
,sydney ,horl]4   #b ,,g5tleman ,,bill  
,a box+ /ory by ,philip ,mac,donald1    
tell+ h[ ,bill ,tressid]'s      left    
made box+ hi/ory4 ,publi%$ 9 ! fir/     
in/ance at #b_/f      net4   #c ,a      
,,dom9ie',s ,,log       ,! frank        
confessions ( a ,scotti% s*oolma/]1 by  
,a4 ,s4 ,neill1      :i* creat$ a       
s5sation :5 orig9ally publi%$4 ,popul>  
edition4   #d ,a ,,dom9ie ,,dismiss$    
,"s fur!r leaves f ! note-book ( a      
,scotti% s*oolma/]1      dismiss$ = 8   
educational indiscretions4 ,by ,a4 ,s4  
,neill4      ,popul> edition4   #e ,a   
,,dom9ie ,,9 ,,d\bt       ,/ill frank]  

confessions ( a ,scotti% s*oolma/] t1   
aft]      all1 he may h be5 wrong 9 8   
previ\s conclusions4 ,by ,a4 ,s4        
,neill4 ,popul> edition4   #f ,,*eiro',s
 ,,guide ,,to ,,! ,,h&       ,a         
practical book on palmi/ry1 bas$ on !   
sy/em & exp]i5ce      ( ,*eiro4 ,)      
num]\s illu/rations4 ,popul> edition4   
#g ,,:5 ,,7 ,,y ,,born8       ,a book t 
w br+ y success1 y\r "* told1 y\r       
t5d5cies expla9$1 y\r future indicat$4  
,) engrav+s      illu/rat+ life's       
my/]i\s triangles4 ,by ,*eiro4 ,popul>  
edition4   #h ,,h&y ,,&y       ,a popul>
 edition ( ,samuel ,lev]'s fam\s /ory ( 
! man :o      possess$ ! +5i\s knack (  
do+ ! "r ?+ 9 ! wrong      way4  ,a full
 li/ ( ! fam\s ,gre5 ,label popul>      
novels w be s5t on application to ,h]b]t
 ,j5k9s1 ,ltd41 ,?ree1 ,york ,/reet1 ,/4
 ,james's1 ,london1 ,s4,w4#a4           
,illu/ration3 ,,! ,,h]b]t ,,j5k9s'      
,,wireless         ,! ,h]b]t ,j5k9s'    
,wireless is publi%$ mon?ly & x is      
priceless4 ,9 o!r words x w be s5t      

po/-free to all      book-lov]s--& o!rs4
        ,x tells all ab\t ! late/ ,h]b]t
 ,j5k9s' ,books4 ,x also      conta9s _m
 good /ories & int]e/+ p]sonalities--9 !
      be/ s5se ( ! t]m4        ,!re are 
facts ab\t au?ors & fictions ab\t       
publi%]s4      ,above all !re is real   
in=mation ab\t books1 n j               
press-op9ions & o!r p's op9ions1 b :at a
 book is      ab\t4        ,"o          
en?usia/ic read] ( ,! ,h]b]t ,j5k9s'    
,wireless writes      t x has enabl$ him
 to discont9ue 8 subscriptions to ,pun* 
& ,! ,times ,lit]>y ,supplem5t6         
,! ,/> 9 big headl9es ref]s to ,! ,h4   
,j4 ,wireless z      ,g+]+ up ! ,book   
,trade1 & goes on to say t no?+ s       
+5i\s has yet be5 issu$ 9 ?is c\ntry4   
,are y go+ to      s5d = x to ,h]b]t    
,j5k9s ,ltd41 #c1 ,york ,/reet1 ,/4     
,james's1      ,london1 ,s4,w4#a8