,hathi,trust ,digital ,library47        
,,the ,,art ,,of ,,taking ,a ,,wife     
,,by ,,paolo ,,mantegazza               
,new ,edition                      ,,gay
 ,,and ,,bird ,,london ,,mdcccxcvi      
,all rights reserved                    
,,to ,,the ,,impatient1                 
,,who ,,wish ,,to ,,marry ,,too ,,soon2 
,,to ,,the ,,libertines1                
,,who ,,take ,a ,,wife ,,too ,,late2    
,,to ,,the ,,timid                      
,,who1 ,,wavering ,,between ,,yes ,,and 
,,no1                      ,,end ,,by   
,,not ,,taking ,,one ,,at ,,all1        
,this ,book is ,dedicated               
,,by ,a ,,man                ,,who ,,has
 ,,always ,,blessed ,,his ,,first       
,,marriage1                      ,,and  
,,hopes ,,to ,,bless ,,the ,,second2    
,,believing ,,this ,,sexual ,,contract  
,,to ,,be                               
,,the ,,least ,,evil ,,one              
,,of ,,the ,,ties ,,which ,,bind ,,the  
,,man ,,to ,,the ,,woman1               
,,in ,,spite                     ,,of   

,,its ,,many ,,defects ,,and ,,dangers4 
,,contents4   ,,chapter                 
,,page  ,,prologue3 ,,between ,,scylla  
,,and ,,charybdis--,,to ,,take ,,or     
,,not ,,to ,,take       ,a ,,wife8      
vii  ,i4 ,,marriage ,,in ,,modern       
,,society1                              
#a  ,,ii4 ,,sexual ,,choice ,,in        
,,marriage--,,the ,,art ,,of ,,choosing 
,,well1              #cf  ,,iii4 ,,age  
,,and ,,health1                         
#ee  ,,iv4 ,,physical ,,sympathy--,,race
 ,,and ,,nationality1                   
#ie  ,v4 ,,the ,,harmony ,,of           
,,feelings1                             
#abe  ,,vi4 ,,harmony ,,of ,,thoughts1  
#aed  ,,vii4 ,,the ,,financial          
,,question ,,in ,,marriage1             
#aga  ,,viii4 ,,the ,,incidents ,,and   
,,accidents ,,of ,,marriage1            
#aib  ,,ix4 ,,hell1                     
#bbd  ,x4 ,,purgatory1                  
#bea  ,,xi4 ,,paradise1                 
#bhc     ,,prologue4  ,,between ,,scylla
 ,,and ,,charybdis4--,,to ,,take1 ,,or  

,,not ,,to ,,take ,a ,,wife8   ,for the 
majority of men1 and for at least thirty
 years of their lives1 love is the      
strongest necessity1 and governs them   
like a tyrant with no other curb than   
the wretched brake of written codes1    
which they do not read1 and of social   
conventionalities1 which they can easily
 silence by employing hypocrisy's mask2 
an hypocrisy1 let it be well understood1
 well dressed1 well curled1 and well    
educated4  ,how can one satisfy this    
greatest of all human needs8  ,by buying
 love1 at so much an hour1 so much a    
month1 or so much a year4  ,by gaining  
it by seduction or violence4  ,by taking
 a wife4  ,it would seem as if these    
three ways of loving were totally       
distinct1 one from the other2 in fact1  
that any one would exclude the others1  
and that they would stand in direct     
opposition to each other4 ,but when     
hypocrisy is at the helm of the vessel  
which bears us over the great sea of    
life1 it contrives so ably and so       

cleverly1 as to enable us to enjoy all  
three methods at one moment1 and1 while 
we are sailing between rocks free of    
danger or shipwreck1 it affords us1 as  
it were1 all the delights of a voyage in
 a beautiful archipelago1 where islands 
and islets seem to meet and touch each  
other2 and where land1 mountains1 and   
scenery all form a bright1 picturesque1 
and beautiful picture4  ,we row upon the
 tranquil waters of matrimony1 and yet  
glide so near to the shores of venal    
love that we can grasp the flowers and  
gather the shells and precious pearls   
which lie there4 ,we sail with the wind 
over the more tempestuous sea of        
seduction1 but all the while we coast   
the island of poetic1 faithful1 and     
constant love2 thus1 vice1 adultery1 and
 domestic peace1 debauchery and eternal 
vows1 angels and beasts1 find themselves
 guests at the same table1 without false
 modesty1 and without remorse4          
,civilisation has opened three ways of  
loving to men of the present day1 and   

one would have thought that since they  
are free to choose one1 they would have 
been satisfied with that4 ,not at all4  
,civilised man is by nature insatiable1 
for the hammer of the excelsior beats   
ever at his heart1 the thirst for       
something better wears him away1 and the
 hunger for something more consumes him2
 hence he has set himself to destroy the
 boundaries and walls which separate the
 three roads1 so that he can easily take
 short cuts from one to the other       
without risk2 and so matrimony1         
prostitution1 and adultery walk hand in 
hand2 and if in public they appear very 
cool to each other1 that is only a      
blind1 for in the secrecy of their      
houses they wink at each other1 sup and 
sleep together4 ,if all this is indeed  
so1 a ,turk would say it is so because  
it must be4 ,if all this can indeed be1 
an epicurean optimist would say1 let us1
 too1 try and sail in this sea1 now so  
calm1 and now so tempestuous1 and let us
 set that sanctified hypocrisy at the   

helm4  ,however1 ,i am neither ,turk nor
 cynic1 and ,i still believe in moral   
progress1 and in the efficacy of books  
and the spoken word2 and even though ,i 
be left alone in the belief that there  
is no happiness save in the good1 nor   
cheerfulness save in sincerity1 and in  
being the same inwardly as outwardly1 ,i
 would still die in this conviction4  ,i
 like a mixture of things at table1 but 
,i have no heart for it in the field of 
morality4 ,i wish to see the family on  
one side1 and the brothel on the other2 
and when two natures living together    
have become an intolerable torment to   
each other1 ,i should wish the law to   
apply the instrument of divorce to their
 chains and to set them free4  ,the     
three ways of loving should be separate 
one from the other1 and should never be 
united4 ,so far from breaking down the  
walls that divide them1 ,i wish to have 
them so high as to become impregnable   
fortresses4    ,only one of these three 
ways1 however1 is that which the honest 

and happy ought to take4 ,that of       
seduction and violence1 only thieves1   
assassins1 and villains can enter4 ,the 
third1 unfortunately1 the way of venal  
love1 nearly all enter1 though still    
desiring and invoking some distant      
ideal1 where this way shall be closed1  
and no path left free save that of      
matrimony1 though its dignity must be   
always guaranteed by the law of divorce4
  ,but is marriage always possible and  
always easy8  ,no2 it is often          
impossible1 and always difficult4  ,and 
the honest man stops and meditates upon 
it as upon the gravest1 the most        
intricate1 and most obscure problem of  
life4 ,the misfortune is this1 that just
 these timid and thoughtful men are the 
best1 and the fear is sometimes so      
great1 and the meditation lasts so long1
 that old age comes upon them before    
they have resolved the problem or made  
themselves a family nest4 ,instead of   
this1 the improvident1 the thoughtless1 
and villains precipitate themselves     

headforemost along the road of          
matrimony2 and if for a few moments they
 struggle in the tortures of doubt1 they
 quickly silence apprehension and       
remorse by saying to themselves3  8,if  
it should turn out badly1 if ,i find    
nettles and thorns on this road1 ,i will
 clear another cross-road with one good 
stroke of my spade1 and will buy love   
like so many others1 and will1 like     
them1 seek it either in the house of my 
friend or neighbor4 ,immorality on this 
point is so lax1 the indulgence of the  
public is so merciful1 that ,i may enjoy
 this violation of home without falling 
under the penalty of the law4 ,mahomet  
also1 generally so severe on all        
transgressions of the written law1 when 
he speaks of the sins of love1 even of  
the greatest1 always adds3 #8,but ,god  
is good and merciful4' ,and all think   
with ,mahomet1 though they have not     
written the ,koran1 that to the sins of 
love #8,god is good and merciful4'0  ,i1
 however1 the warmest advocate of       

marriage for myself and others1 desire  
with all my soul that the honest and    
wise man should marry1 to increase the  
capital of honesty and wisdom in future 
generations4 ,and so ,i preach and shall
 preach to my last breath3  ,marry6     
,marriage is still and always will be   
the most honest1 healthy1 and ideal mode
 of loving4  ,but ,i add immediately3   
,marry well2 combine all the powers of  
your thought and feeling to solve this  
most important problem of your life2 add
 to them all that is best in yourself2  
all that you find of the best among your
 counsellors who are your friends4  ,and
 then follow the advice given us by that
 embodiment of good sense1 ,benjamin    
,franklin3 ,take a sheet of paper1 and  
after having folded it in two1 so as to 
have two distinct columns1 write on one 
side all the advantages the proposed    
marriage would bring you1 and on the    
other all the evils and dangers into    
which it might lead you4 ,when you have 
finished this piece of analysis work1   

try to measure the opposing elements1   
cancelling alternately those that seem  
to balance each other1 as in algebra  #c
 and - #c is equal to zero1 and you will
 see what is left upon the page--that   
is1 whether the good predominates1 or   
whether the evil has the upper hand4  ,i
 know well all the mistakes you may     
make4 ,i know1 too1 that if you love you
 will write in rose-coloured ink in the 
column of good1 and in that of evil you 
will use the blackest4 ,but in any case 
this work of analysis1 this labour of   
detailed examination will1 without your 
being aware of it1 oblige you to        
consider many elements which otherwise  
you would have passed over1 just as if  
you had had recourse to a microscope of 
great power instead of to your eyes4    
,matrimony must be studied with the eyes
 first2 with the microscope after2 yes1 
even with the telescope4 ,the eyes will 
enable us to see the principal part of  
the problem2 the microscope will show   
all the ins and outs of our love2 it    

will reveal all its cells and all its   
fibres2 and lastly1 the telescope will  
give us the power of seeing1            
prophetically1 as it were1 what will    
befall our passion and desire in the    
evolution of time4  ,then1 if1 after    
using eyes1 microscope1 and telescope1  
you also read my book1 you will find    
there the sincere and dispassionate     
words of a man who became a physician   
that he might study mankind better2 who 
began by studying himself1 as being the 
subject ever at hand2 who to this daily 
incessant study has devoted forty-six   
large volumes not yet printed4  ,listen 
to the voice of a man who has made woman
 his principal study1 judging her to be 
the better part of humanity1 and has    
loved her more than all the creatures   
upon earth1 believing her to be the     
first and greatest source of happiness4 
,i know perfectly that1 even after      
having applied ,franklin's method to the
 study of the problem of matrimony1 even
 after having used eyes1 microscope1 and

 telescope1 and read my book1 you may   
yet make a mistake2 but your conscience 
will always be free from any remorse1 in
 knowing that1 as far as you were able1 
you did all that was possible to secure 
happiness4  ,vessels are sometimes      
wrecked under the command of able and   
brave captains1 and under the guidance  
of a sure compass4 ,but for one of these
 you find a hundred wrecks1 to which    
there was no compass1 or an ignorant or 
drunken captain4  ,and all those who    
marry without reflecting deeply and long
 on the abstruse problem are drunk and  
ignorant captains1 who launch1 without a
 compass1 upon the most tempestuous sea4
     ,,the  ,,art ,,of ,,taking ,a      
,,wife4     ,,chapter ,i4  ,,marriage   
,,in ,,modern ,,society4   ,of all      
paradoxes man is the cleverest and most 
untiring4 ,he says he is a worm of the  
earth1 but believes himself to be a son 
of ,god2 his own person he clothes      
modestly1 but revels in discovering the 
nakedness of the greatest possible      

number of his sisters in ,christ4 ,the  
more he humiliates himself1 the prouder 
he is2 the more he vaunts his           
generosity1 so much the more is he      
egotistical2 an adorer of liberty in    
theory1 but in practice a daily         
contriver of tyrannies4  ,for the       
present ,i will confine myself to this  
last form of his madness4 ,if one only  
listens to him1 he places liberty above 
all the good things of the world4 ,if   
,adam has lost the earthly paradise1 it 
is because he did not know how to       
tolerate the yoke of a divine           
prohibition2 if man has spattered his   
planet with blood1 it is because he     
preferred the hard bread of the free    
citizen to the golden chains of         
despotism2 if he has raised monuments to
 ,spartacus1 ,bahilla1 ,garibaldi1 and  
,washington1 it is because his first    
glory is to be free2 but the monuments  
forgotten1 the tyrants killed1 he raises
 new ones on his own account2 perhaps   
for the pleasure of destroying them     

hereafter4 ,if he does not seek some    
innocent and pleasant occupation1 what  
can he do after having slept and loved  
and eaten8  ,numbers must take the first
 place among the early tyrants of our   
own making4  ,when ,god made the world1 
he entirely forgot to make numbers1 and 
we have corrected this fault of creation
 by making them ourselves4 ,god had not 
numbered the stars in heaven1 or the    
drops of water in the sea1 the leaves on
 the trees or the ants on the ground4   
,infinity above1 infinity below1 the    
ineffable and immeasurable everywhere4  
,instead1 we have repaired this great   
forgetfulness of the ,creator1 by       
placing numbers above everything else1  
and making them our masters in the world
 of living things and dead2 we allow    
them to tyrannize over us in every act  
of our humble daily life1 as well as in 
the pages of history and in dogmas of   
philosophy4 ,if there have been         
sanguinary revolutions in order to      
obtain the liberty of the press1 why as 

yet has no one rebelled against the     
tyranny of numbers8  ,quien sabe8       
,whoever would think of buying eleven or
 thirteen eggs8  ,no one1 for #aj and   
#ab are our small tyrants4  ,who would  
make a present of nine or ninety-nine   
francs to his own son8  ,no one1 for #aj
 is a great tyrant1 and #ajj greater    
than #aj4  ,who has never felt the yoke 
of numbers one thousand and one hundred 
thousand8 who is never in subjection to 
the tyranny of the million1 both in     
language and mode of life8  ,and        
centuries1 too1 which are only so many  
figures1 what a number of theories they 
have evoked from the depths of history2 
how many false names have they not      
written in the anagraphs of time2 how   
many revolutions have they not          
postponed2 how many others have they    
aroused1 merely on account of the       
tyranny of a number8  ,for some years we
 have had before our eyes one of the    
most deplorably humiliating examples of 
our view of this arithmetical incubus1  

the decline of the nineteenth century to
 make room for the twentieth4  ,six     
years are still wanting till this       
numerical cataclysm4 ,who knows how many
 books will be written on the century   
dying out1 how many prophecies on the   
century following it2 what torrents of  
philosophy and ink to discuss the       
passing of the number #ai to that of    
#bj8  ,yet centuries only exist on      
paper1 and after having made them       
ourselves1 we adore and freely elect    
them to be our tyrants2 only to deride  
the poor savages who1 like us1 make     
their own gods of wood and stone1 fall  
on their knees before them and fear     
them4  ,and we fear numbers--only       
another idol of thought1 made for our   
use and necessity1 and in the similitude
 of our wretchedness and intellectual   
weakness4  ,for my part ,i only see     
around me an infinite continuity of     
things and of time1 nor do ,i allow     
myself to be overawed by the cabal of   
numbers1 with which we ought to amuse   

ourselves as with a pack of cards1      
esteeming them for what they are worth2 
a poor example of a thing yet poorer6   
,the dying century1 fin de sicle1 and   
all such sensational phrases1 which are 
intended to express a great deal1       
because they mean nothing--these        
exclamations1 the eloquence of the      
non-eloquent1 move me little1 if at all4
 ,i look back and see a yesterday2 ,i   
look around and see a to-day2 forward   
and ,i see a to-morrow2 the three tenses
 of the to become1 which have no        
numbers1 nor will ever have4 ,for they  
succeed each other unceasingly1         
following the mighty strides of our     
journey1 not with the figures of a      
century1 but with a regret that becomes 
a hope1 and will be a faith2 to be      
succeeded again and forever by regret1  
hope1 and faith--unceasingly4  ,i wished
 to write this in the first pages of my 
book to let you know that if ,i attempt 
to delineate marriage in modern society 
,i renounce the dying century1 the fin  

de sicle1 and all such effective        
phrases1 which would give me1 based on  
numbers1 so many resources of rhetoric  
and sentimentality4 ,i have hated and   
always shall hate all forms of tyranny1 
including that of numbers4 ,i look      
around and say1 this is the way men     
marry to-day4 ,they do so because they  
are sons of a yesterday1 which is the   
father of to-day2 then ,i look forward  
and hope that to-morrow will be better  
than yesterday or to-day1 and ,i        
endeavour to promote the good as quickly
 as possible and with a minimum of pain1
 by my pen1 my experience1 and my       
studies1 cito tute et jucunde1 as       
,celsus has it4    ,in our civilized    
society1 marriage is the least evil of  
all the different modes of union between
 man and woman for the preservation of  
the race4 ,it is the result of many     
historic evolutions1 many sensual1      
moral1 religious1 and legislative       
elements1 which have come into conflict 
with each other in the course of time4  

,remote atavism of the ravishment of the
 female1 holy words of inspired         
prophets1 imperiousness of feudatories1 
avarice of usurers1 transports of love  
and heroism of hearts1 have all left    
something of their own upon the altar of
 matrimony4 ,but before the sacrament   
was finished and the priest sent up the 
fumes of his incense1 animal man came   
leering and saying3  8,this is my       
affair4 ,i am the sole and true priest  
of this rite4 ,i am the only minister of
 this religion40 ,and mixing the divine 
and human vows on the altar with his    
hairy hands--perhaps1 too1 with his     
tail--he formed a chaos of things most  
opposite1 from the highest to the       
lowest1 from the most sublime to the    
most ignoble4 ,and this1 then1 is       
marriage4  ,to curse this love          
sanctified by vows is useless1 to       
suppress it is impossible1 to substitute
 something better is absurd 7at least   
for the present71 and nothing remains   
but to accept it as the least evil of   

sexual unions1 and to ameliorate it     
gradually1 prudently1 and wisely4  ,by  
free choice on both sides1 enlightened  
by reason4  ,by the guarantee of        
divorce4    ,neither the prince nor the 
proletariate needs this book of mine4   
,the first marries worse than any       
citizen in his kingdom1 for dynastic    
reasons1 without love or sympathy4 ,with
 him it is first the throne1 then the   
family2 first the alliance of his       
colours1 and then if there is room1 the 
kisses of love4 ,it is true he may      
console himself with the vulgar and     
easily won embraces of a pandering      
,venus2 he may also take advantage of   
one of the most ridiculous remnants of  
the ,middle ,ages1 the morganatic       
marriage4 ,in all cases the ministers1  
deputies1 nay1 even journalists provide 
him with a wife4 ,the art of taking a   
wife is for him1 therefore1 nonsense4   
,the proletariate1 more fortunate than  
the prince1 may choose the woman it     
loves1 and in its choice may take       

advantage of the counsels of those who  
have loved and sinned much4 ,but it does
 not read books1 for they cost too much2
 and when by law its individuality is   
cancelled from the statistics of the    
illiterate1 it has no time to read1 for 
the tyranny of bread oppresses it4      
,therefore ,i write for neither prince  
nor proletariate1 but for all that human
 multitude who live and move between the
 extreme poles of modern society and who
 constitute the true nerve of the       
nation4  ,in what way do all these      
millions of males and females combine8  
,in different ways1 but amongst them    
marriage is the only legal foundation of
 the family permitted by morality and   
approved by religion4 ,all others are   
contraband1 moving on cross-roads either
 alone or in company1 but all1 in one   
way or the other1 defrauding nature1    
with an eternal envy for those who have 
honestly paid custom dues on entering   
the city4  ,without fear of going far   
wrong1 one may say that in whatever     

society there are the greatest number of
 married people1 there one will find    
more morality and decorum1 and          
consequently the number of those who    
love and nourish their love by          
seduction1 whether it be with the armed 
hand on the public road1 or             
clandestinely under the form of domestic
 robbery1 will be less4  ,besides this1 
our modern society is suffering from    
gold fever2 a disease which is as old as
 man himself and has taken the form and 
course of a real epidemic2 this         
contributes more than any other element 
to corrupt the roots of marriage4       
,diffused instruction and the many      
social exigencies have increased our    
needs beyond measure2 more especially   
those which are more costly1 that is1   
those of the intellect and the higher   
sthetic emotions1 without in any way    
enlarging the sources of production4    
,from birth to death1 the balance of    
home life oppresses us1 torments us2 its
 arithmetic pierces through the skin    

with the acute points of its figures1   
reaches our very viscera and1 alas1 our 
hearts also2 poisoning every pleasure1  
spoiling all the holy and happy poetry  
of life4 ,invited as all are to the     
genial table of modern civilization     
which offers us so many new delights1 we
 are like the poor government official1 
who1 for appearance's sake1 allows      
himself to be carried off to a ball1 and
 between the bars of music and the full 
glasses1 feels his pocket anxiously1    
wondering how and when he will be able  
to pay the score4  ,with what difficulty
 some of the money is drawn from the    
poor purse of a middle-class man6 ,how  
many pangs has it not caused before it  
sees the light of day1 accompanied by   
the last caress of the convulsive       
fingers6 ,how unequal the comparison    
between those who live on an income of  
one thousand and three thousand francs6 
,and1 from the ever increasing fever of 
desires1 the gnawing of all vanities1   
and the vanity of the classes1 how these

 figures increase daily until they reach
 to ten1 twenty1 or thirty thousand     
francs6  ,and this is the reason that   
whilst love alone should prompt to      
marriage1 it is nearly always the last  
party in the contract1 in which money   
judges and directs according to the need
 of it1 with all the imperiousness of   
one who knows himself to be             
unconquerable4  ,money1 money1 always   
money6 ,it is the first and supreme     
arbiter of the greater number of        
marriages4  ,to take a wife means to    
become poor1 if the wife does not help  
to build the new family nest2 it means  
to walk with open eyes into a bottomless
 and dark abyss2 it signifies condemning
 one's self to the daily torture of     
poverty1 and to dedicate the children   
yet unborn to the same struggle4  ,our  
dignity would demand that the wife's    
dowry should not enter into our choice  
at all4 ,the true ideal would be the    
ability to offer to our companion       
riches1 or1 at least1 a competency with 

our heart and hand1 so that we could    
say3  8,see1 beloved2 all that is mine  
is thine4 ,however much ,i give you1 ,i 
shall always be your debtor1 for you    
have given me your love40 ,all this is  
noble and grand1 and every man who is   
conscious of the power of his own moral 
and physical manhood would wish to say  
so4 ,but how many really can8           
,exceedingly few2 hardly any4  ,and then
 the young man who would seek to love in
 the way of the ,lord is discouraged and
 renounces marriage1 in which he only   
sees the door to misery or cowardice4   
,he renounces it frankly and forever4   
,are celibates more honest1 and how far 
does their honesty extend8  ,with the   
most honest1 virtue extends to an       
unwillingness to betray the purity of   
the maiden1 or the faithfulness of other
 men's wives2 extends or rather         
descends1 to making the service of love 
a question of periodical hygiene        
regulated by the rubric of the calendar 
and by that most imperative one of the  

lunar month4 ,poor love1 poor           
translation of the most epic poem of    
life6 ,it is as though one were to      
translate ,homer into some ,australian  
dialect6  ,these bachelor hygienists are
 however a small minority4 ,others      
pretend to something more and better1   
and make love in the houses of others1  
and live by abject and cowardly         
seduction1 and perhaps usury4  ,this is 
the most sordid and cancerous sore in   
our modern marriage2 this is the        
gangrene of our society1 which spreads  
an asphyxiating fetor of domestic       
treachery1 of moral infection1 which    
contaminates and infests everything4    
,woe to us if in every family the newly 
born could proclaim aloud the name of   
their father6 ,how many false1 living   
bills of exchange would be protested1   
what long faces amongst biologists who  
ingeniously study the law of heredity2  
what a terrible picture of treachery and
 dissembling6 human and civilized       
society would appear all at once like a 

band of false coiners1 and the woman's  
womb nothing but a mint of false money4 
,but the newly born can only weep--the  
first salutation to life--and the wombs 
of women are silent1 and continue their 
business of false coinage4  ,and yet ,i 
do not blame the woman more than the    
man1 in this galley of treachery1 this  
wide-spread and clandestine manufactory 
of bastards4 ,if man assails the woman1 
and plots against her virtue1 he avails 
himself of the rights of life4 ,if      
society does not permit him to take a   
wife1 why should he not share the bread 
of him who has too much to eat8 ,do not 
the workmen of ,europe declare daily1   
that one of the first rights is that of 
work8 ,and is not the right of loving   
perhaps more sacred2 the work of works2 
that for which nature sacrifices the    
individual1 and to which it consecrates 
the best of its energies8 ,husbands     
defend these rights1 we attack them4 ,if
 they are conquered--tant pis pour eux6 
,and the poor wives1 why should they not

 brighten the ennui of the nuptial bed  
with some little love affair8 ,were they
 not bound forever to a man they had    
never loved1 whom they had perhaps seen 
only once8 ,were they not sold by their 
parents1 guardians1 and matrons1 like   
merchandise8 ,was not their dowry rated 
at the weight of a coat of arms8 and    
have not they also the right to love8   
,and all the others who have had the    
good fortune to love the man who has    
given them his name1 and have thrown    
themselves into his arms1 giving him    
their whole hearts1 happy to be able to 
transform themselves in him and for him2
 who dreamt of making marriage a synonym
 of love1 and who instead found the     
husband in a few months in the arms of  
an old love2 have not all these women   
the right of vengeance8 ,this is        
matrimony as it is daily represented in 
the many small theaters which we call   
men's houses4  ,in these theaters1      
however 7one must be just and not       
exaggerate71 there are more farces      

played than comedies1 more comedies than
 dramas4 ,tragedies are rare4 ,for this 
high form of dramatic art heroes are    
required1 and they are very scarce in   
modern society4 ,we have made our       
houses1 statues1 pictures1 and gardens  
smaller1 and have been compelled to     
reduce our feelings also4  ,the pistol  
and dagger1 too1 figure in the          
chronicles of matrimony1 but as         
phenomena4 ,in the home-theater1 on the 
contrary1 the punishment of retaliation1
 the little basenesses1 the stirring of 
conscience1 under all forms and at all  
sorts of prices1 are in common use4 ,the
 mnages  trois 7aye1 even four7 are     
pretty pictures in kind2 and the        
hypocrisy of husbands who will not see1 
because they detest scenes1 figure every
 day in the running account of modern   
matrimony4  ,live and let live--to apply
 the noble modern institution of        
co-operative societies to the family2   
and raise aloft the banner of the       
association of forces4 ,one for all1 and

 all for one6    ,infidelity and        
treachery are not the only moths which  
corrode marriage4 ,we have all the      
domestic discords which spring from the 
inequality of the needs of intelligence1
 heart1 and habits of thought2 we have  
the partisans of the wife and those of  
the husband1 who quarrel amongst        
themselves1 complicating the problem1   
poisoning the wounds1 opening with every
 touch the cicatrices which time and    
love were so pitifully healing4  ,if war
 is an exception in matrimony1 peace is 
still more rare2 and one may safely say 
that in the greater number of cases it  
is an armed peace1 an atmosphere which  
relaxes the strength1 dries up the      
purest sources of tenderness1 and       
destroys its happiness4 ,in a word1 as  
our society is constituted in the       
present day1 hell is not common in the  
family circle1 paradise exceedingly     
rare1 but purgatory is almost universal4
  ,and yet marriage is still the least  
evil amongst the unions of the man and  

woman2 it can and ought to grow         
continually better and increase human   
happiness2 which is for me the highest  
and truest end of progress4  ,what is   
the use of being able to run through    
space at the velocity of seventy        
kilometres an hour1 or to go round the  
world in seventy days2 what the use of  
being able to talk through the telephone
 or see the clouds in the sky of ,mars2 
what the use of so great a fecundity of 
books1 of such a deluge of journals1 if 
one is unable to increase the patrimony 
of human happiness by even a farthing8  
,at the present day marriage may be     
happy1 just as one may become rich by   
playing in the lottery1 but whilst one  
door opens to the possibility of good1  
two open to that of evil4 ,he who utters
 the fatal yes before the ,syndic girded
 with the three national colors1 lets a 
grain fall in the scale that holds our  
happiness and two in the scale that     
holds our misfortunes4 ,it is his duty  
to do the opposite2 it is the duty of   

society to defend matrimony from the    
perils which threaten it1 by wise laws  
not inspired by the arcadian tendency of
 the heart1 nor by theocratical         
mysticism1 but by a profound knowledge  
of man4    ,about twenty years ago ,i   
broke a lance in favour of divorce in my
 8,fisiologia dell' amore10 and hoped at
 that time to have seen it by now       
included in the laws of my country4     
,twenty years ago ,i wrote3  8,divorce  
ought to be included among our laws as  
soon as possible3 happy couples solicit 
it to secure their dignity1 wounded by a
 tyrannical tie2 the unhappy implore it 
on their bended knees1 those who by     
misfortune or fault are condemned to the
 most supreme of human tortures3 that of
 a slavery without redemption1 of a yoke
 without rest1 of a scourge without     
balm1 of a grief without hope40#a ,even 
to-day divorce is not made a law among  
us1 but public opinion demands and will 
have it4 ,no one in the present day dare
 defend it with the broken arms of the  

,church2 but many defend it still in the
 name of the children and of the        
sanctity of the family4  #a 8,fisiologia
 dell' amore10 ,milano1 #ahgc1 p4 #cch4 
,there are too many innocent victims of 
matrimony for their voices not to be    
heard2 and when the law-giver knows how 
to surround divorce with all the most   
delicate guarantees1 he will increase   
the sanctity of the family and free the 
children from the cruelly abject        
spectacle of their two parents living   
under the same roof hating each other1  
with homicide in their thoughts1 bearing
 the chains of convicts1 without the    
courage or the strength to break them4  
,legislators must do this1 the rest of  
the duty lies with those directors of   
the mind who are called writers1        
masters1 and educators4 ,they ought to  
teach the woman to know what love is1   
and what matrimony is1 so that she      
should not give herself1 bound hand and 
foot1 to a contract which she knows by  
hearsay only1 nor enter the dim future  

guided by paternal1 maternal1 or        
religious authority alone4  ,the        
possibilities of misfortune are a       
hundred times greater for the woman than
 for the man1 for she is always more    
ignorant of things genital than we are1 
and goes to the altar or municipality   
ignorant of all1 dragged like a lamb to 
the slaughter-house4  ,at the present   
day1 under the customs to which our     
society conforms1 the only profession of
 woman is that of wife and mother2 and  
to this calling she is instructed from  
infancy1 not to be an exemplary wife or 
perfect mother1 but1 if possible1 to    
find a husband1 and that an ideal one1  
one who is handsome1 young1 and above   
all rich4 ,she is secretly and cleverly 
instructed in the art of hunting that   
rare game1 a good husband2 not in order 
to make him or herself happy1 but to    
increase her income and to rise a step  
or two in the social scale4 ,if in      
comfortable circumstances1 she must     
become rich2 if rich1 a millionaire2 if 

civilian1 a countess2 if countess1      
marchioness or princess4 ,this is what  
she is to aim at2 all her education has 
been directed to this end4 ,now1        
marriage should rise from its lower     
position of a business transaction to   
the higher one of a union of hearts and 
thoughts1 and neither of the two        
companions ought to be able to look at  
each other with anger and think3  ,you  
bought me4  ,i sold myself4  ,nothing   
can cleanse us from this original sin1  
which contaminates matrimony4 ,in vain  
do the comforts of riches1 the pride of 
a high position1 the excitements of     
domestic sensuality1 throw flowers over 
the wound to hide it4 ,at the least     
quibble1 the least cloud that covers the
 heaven of the double life1 one hears   
the fatal words3  ,you bought me1  ,i   
sold myself1  arising from the depths of
 the troubled conscience like a voice   
evoked by some evil spirit4  ,and when  
neither riches1 sensuality1 nor vanity  
have a rag wherewith to cover the       

cancerous sore1 the naked and dreadful  
spectre of an unsuccessful speculation1 
of unsuccessful business--then          
bitterness is added to bitterness1 and  
the domestic warfare which has become   
permanent1 angry1 and poisonous1        
developes into a chronic despair1 the   
most heart-rending form of human pain4  
,even this is not all2 as in an attack  
of neuralgia the deep-seated and        
continual pains become sharper and more 
intolerable at certain moments1 taking  
on a piercing and stab-like character1  
so it is with the deep-seated and dumb  
despair of those two unfortunate beings4
 ,every now and then the inexorable cry 
sounds1 and thus it goes on until the   
last breath4  ,let divorce come then1   
and quickly1 to set all these slaves    
free2 let there be a wiser and more     
liberal education1 to teach girls what  
they do not know or know indifferently2 
so that they1 like ourselves1 can freely
 say their yes before the altar or the  
magistrate with perfect knowledge and   

understanding4     ,,chapter ,,ii4      
,,sexual ,,choice ,,in                  
,,marriage4--,,the ,,art ,,of ,,choosing
 ,,well4   ,there are two principal ways
 by which we may arrive at the fatal    
yes1 that terrible monosyllable which   
must decide our happiness or misfortune2
 that yes which may make for us a       
paradise on earth1 or a hell of         
twenty-four hours for every day in the  
#cfe4  ,either love first and marriage  
after1 or marriage first and love after4
 ,which of these two ways is the better1
 and the most certain to lead us to the 
paradise of two8  ,theoretically1 the   
answer cannot be doubted2 one ought to  
love first and marry after4  ,in        
practice1 however1 it is not always so4 
,many marriages inspired by love end    
badly1 while others1 planned by reason  
more than the heart1 turn out well4     
,and why8 ,if the theory is true1 it    
ought to accord with the practice1 and  
if it contradicts the practice the      
theory must be mistaken4  ,the apparent 

contradiction can be explained at once  
if we reflect that love is every day    
spoken of as the desire for the         
possession of the woman1 and this alone 
is certainly not sufficient to make two 
people happy4 ,give love and lust their 
real names and every difficulty         
immediately disappears1 and we then see 
the happy dogma1 ,love first and        
marriage after1 shine out in all its    
splendour4 ,if by legal means alone a   
man can possess the woman he loves and  
if the passion be violent1 the greatest 
libertine1 and even the enemy of        
matrimony1 bow their heads under the    
,furc ,caudin of female virtue and the  
civil code1 and marry4 ,it is a stony   
road and full of pitfalls1 but one      
which1 nevertheless1 may sometimes lead 
to the happiness of the two4 ,gradually 
there becomes associated with the desire
 of the senses1 that more valuable sense
 of the affinity of hearts1 and when the
 desire is satisfied there remains still
 the enjoyment of the more delicate     

dainties of the understanding and       
affection4 ,to transform lust into love 
is a difficult work1 but worthy of      
woman's holy virtue1 and the woman can  
succeed in doing so1 even when          
possession has cooled desire and age    
dimmed her beauty2 but she must be a    
sublime being and possess lasting gifts 
of sentiment and thought2 if her        
companion be also an elect soul1 who    
knows how to value this lasting and     
solid virtue1 and who understands       
ideality of spirit as well as grace of  
form1 so much the better4  ,sublime     
beings and elect souls are always       
exceptional1 and if1 in the innumerable 
crowd of husbands and wives1 they have  
reached the yes by the way of desire of 
the flesh1 they soon find that the game 
was not worth the candle1 and that the  
muddy swamp of weariness and animal     
familiarity of sex follows upon the     
first outburst of voluptuousness4 ,the  
woman sometimes succeeds in fanning and 
reviving it with inexhaustible coquetry1

 but one gets scorched1 and the distaste
 may become even more obstinate the more
 ingenious are the remedies used to     
oppose it4 ,a marriage inspired only by 
the desires of the flesh1 maintained    
only by the bread of lust1 is a very    
poor and abject thing1 that can very    
rarely give peace to the mind1 and much 
less happiness4 ,even in the most vulgar
 and sensual natures1 there is something
 that rebels against the permanent      
animal1 and raises its voice in demand  
for a more human form of food4 ,man1    
like the swine1 wallows in the mud1 but 
with this difference3 he likes to wash  
himself1 and to look up to the heavens  
from the trough4 ,it must be added that 
in marriage the dignities of father and 
mother only increase the responsibility 
of the two consorts to animate and      
enlarge the human nut at the expense of 
the animal pulp4 ,the spirituality of   
the family impresses itself upon the    
coarsest nature and the most obtuse     
nerves1 by warming the atmosphere and   

revealing a streak of blue in the heaven
 above4  ,woe to the man who1 in        
solitary and sad contemplation of his   
wife1 says to himself3 ,my companion is 
only a female6  ,much worse is it1 and  
woe to that woman who1 in the night     
watches1 looking at her husband as he   
snores1 says in a low1 fretful voice3   
,my husband is only a male6    ,there is
 hardly a man who would confess to his  
friends1 or even to himself1 that he    
married a woman to possess her4 ,even if
 it were true1 modesty and pride fight  
against the confession1 and with one of 
those clever self-deceptions with which 
we know how to embellish and deceive our
 own consciences1 we exclaim in a       
decided and convinced tone1 ,i love her6
  ,if it be so difficult a thing to     
distinguish between gold and its alloy1 
true and false diamonds1 eastern and    
,roman pearls1 imagine whether it is    
easy to distinguish between the desire  
of the flesh and true love4 ,yet this is
 just one of those most dangerous and   

hidden pitfalls which bring death to    
happiness in the battle waged in our    
minds between the to be or not to be1   
when we have to decide whether or no we 
ought to give the holy name of wife to  
the woman we desire4 ,in other books of 
mine ,i have ventured to give some      
advice to those aspiring to matrimony to
 enable them to distinguish between true
 love and carnal excitement1 which only 
affects one organ4  ,as ,i believe1     
however1 that we have here before our   
eyes one of the gravest and most vital  
questions in the art of taking a wife1  
,i may be allowed to enter more minutely
 into particulars4  ,always doubt a     
sudden impression1 so called a coup de  
foudre1 if it has seized you after long 
abstinence from woman's society4    ,for
 love also1 and perhaps more for love   
than for the brain1 it is prudent to    
remember the fasting ,philip4    ,if you
 fear being enamoured of a young girl   
and are not disposed toward marriage1 go
 and see all the married and young      

ladies most famed for beauty1 grace1 and
 elegance1 and make your comparisons4   
,if they be unfavourable to her1 doubt  
directly the seriousness and depth of   
your passion4  ,this has to do only with
 what we call physical love1 but ,i     
speak of it at some length as it is the 
first door opened when a man and woman  
see each other for the first time4 ,but 
,i do not mean that it is the only one  
which leads you to the fatal yes4 ,it   
ought only to give you an entrance into 
the ante-chamber where you must wait    
patiently until heart and mind open the 
doors of the inner rooms1 where you will
 have to live all your life4  ,if there 
has been no coup de foudre1 but the     
sympathy came gradually1 developed and  
grew until it became a real passion1    
then all my counsels of examination and 
experiment will be perfectly useless4   
,at each visit you unconsciously1 and   
without thinking of it at all1 correct  
or confirm the first impression--now    
trimming1 now increasing the warmth of  

the original sympathy4 ,how many        
wooings1 how many marriages have        
miscarried in our fancy without our     
knowing a word of it1 or even having    
spoken an affectionate word to the      
person who awakened so sudden and strong
 an impression in us6 ,a being suddenly 
appeared on the horizon1 perhaps in an  
hour in which we felt the weight of     
solitude1 the tortures of abstinence1   
and we said to ourselves directly3 ,what
 a charming and sweet creature6 ,why do 
,i not take her for mine 444 and        
forever8  ,the apparition passed from   
our gaze1 but we carried it home with us
 carved1 or rather written1 on our minds
 in fire4 ,we saw her between the lines 
of the book we read1 in our dreams1     
everywhere4  ,a few days later we see   
her in the street1 or in society1 and we
 vainly endeavor to reconcile the       
reality with the figure we saw in our   
imagination4 ,the discord is complete4  
,the woman is not the same1 and smiling 
to ourselves over the love which we had 

dreamt of in the silence of our minds1  
we exclaim1 8,how could ,i ever have    
admired this vulgar1 ugly1 faded        
creature and wished to have her for my  
own60  ,it is well1 indeed1 when the    
sketch can be corrected so soon2        
unfortunately it sometimes occurs after 
several visits1 when we may have        
compromised our heart and perhaps our   
word4  ,prudence1 then1 adelante ,pedro 
con juicio6    ,science teaches that no 
force in the world is lost1 no energy   
consumed1 but that force and energy     
transform themselves one into the other 
without loss at all4 ,then ,i ask       
myself--but all the desires that men and
 women breathe out in the streets1 in   
society1 in theatres1 or wherever they  
meet1 where do they end8 ,all those     
glances of the eyes which carry fire    
enough in their rays to burn and consume
 the whole planetary system2 all those  
heart beatings which make the face burn 
and attract two beings1 two organisms1  
two lives to each other2 when 7as in    

most cases7 they pass like meteors      
without fructifying the earth1 where do 
they go8 ,those terrible energies1 the  
fruit of the most intricate and sublime 
mechanism of our brains and nerves2 into
 what do they transport themselves when 
they produce neither words1 tears1 lust1
 crime1 matrimony1 nor sin8  ,and yet   
these desires are many2 they meet day   
and night in the crowded streets1 in the
 whirl of railway carriages1 in the     
dense crowd1 in the solitary mountain   
paths2 they plough through space1 and if
 we were able to see them we should see 
the air lighted up by them as by the    
convulsive lightning of a tropical      
tempest4  ,but where do they go8 ,where 
is so much light consumed8 ,who warms   
himself with all this mighty heat8 ,and 
where are the ashes of such a fire8  ,i 
know not2 perhaps biologists and        
physicists of the future will tell us4  
,another elementary1 but most important 
aid toward the wise choice of a wife1 is
 to see a large number of women before  

choosing her to whom you wish to give   
name1 heart1 and life4  ,if you have    
chosen your companion in the narrow     
circle of a village without leaving it1 
you may be proud to have gained the     
prettiest girl among a dozen companions4
 ,but woe to you1 should you suddenly go
 to other villages1 or still worse to   
some large city2 you may find the       
comparison odious1 most odious1 and yet 
irremediable4  ,this is why men who have
 seen and travelled a great deal        
generally make the best husbands2 for   
making their choice on a larger basis1  
there is great probability of their     
choosing well1 and perhaps also for     
another reason1 women more easily pardon
 some former gallantry in their fiancs  
than a too ingenuous virtue4 ,don       
,giovanni has always seemed more        
pleasing to them than the chaste        
,joseph4  ,a woman who knows that she is
 preferred and chosen as a companion1 by
 one who has seen and known a hundred or
 a thousand other women1 is proud of it1

 and with reason4  ,i do not know if all
 women will share my opinion1 but those 
who know most of the science of love    
will most certainly think with me4 ,were
 ,i a woman1 my ideal of a husband would
 be a man who had travelled in all the  
six parts of the world1 and had seen and
 admired all the women there4  ,and     
continuing my ,utopia1 but bringing it  
down to the level of earth2 were ,i a   
woman and had ,i doubts about the       
sincerity of the passion awakened in my 
fianc1 ,i should wish him to make a     
journey through all ,europe which should
 last a year1 and if on his return he   
still found me worthy of him1 ,i would  
give him my hand with the certainty of  
having a loving and faithful husband4   
,time is a valuable element to add      
weight to our choice2 it is one of the  
best gauges of comparison by which to   
distinguish true love from carnal       
excitement4 ,it is an old axiom1        
confirmed by universal experience1 that 
time cools and extinguishes the small   

attacks of love1 but strengthens and    
invigorates the more serious ones4 ,the 
fatal brevity of our lives1 the natural 
impatience of all those in love1        
conspire together to hasten marriage1   
but as far as ,i know and am able1 ,i   
recommend men and women to acquire the  
sainted virtue of patience4 ,i pray     
women again and again in their love     
affairs 7in which as people say they are
 more men than we are71 to follow the   
tactics of ,fabius the temporizer3 wait1
 wait1 and still wait4 ,love is centred 
in a most serious moment1 one most      
pregnant with consequences to our whole 
lives1 and a month or two more will only
 increase the dignity of the choice1 and
 be a guarantee for the future4 ,the    
honeymoon will shine all the longer     
above our horizon1 the more we wait for 
it1 with the poetry of desire and the   
ideality of hope4     ,,chapter ,,iii4  
,,age ,,and ,,health4   ,if a man were  
only a generating animal1 the problem of
 age in marriage would be very simple1  

and reducible to this formula3 ,that as 
long as men or women can relight the    
flame of life they are marriageable4    
,that means that a man may marry from   
sixteen to sixty1 and in exceptional    
cases up to seventy and eighty2 and that
 he may marry a woman of from fifteen to
 forty-five4  ,man1 however1 is not     
solely a generating animal1 but a       
thinking1 reasoning1 sentient1          
cavilling1 wrangling being2 a political1
 commercial1 and religious creature2 he 
manufactures brakes to curb the         
exhilaration of the gallop downhill1    
creates sophisms to spoil truth1 and    
crutches to make athletes rickety2 he   
tells many lies for amusement2 in short 
he is the most clever and ingenious     
artificer in things of which he knows   
very little1 in the whole planetary     
universe4 ,notwithstanding all these    
precious virtues1 man finds the problem 
of age most complicated1 when he wishes 
to take one of the daughters of ,eve and
 say to her3 8,will you give me your    

hand1 so that we may form a little      
future for ourselves80  ,all other      
elements being favourable1 the ideal    
perfection in age as regards marriage   
would be as follows3  ,the man to be    
from twenty-five to thirty-five4  ,the  
woman from eighteen to twenty-five4     
,the man should always be a few years   
older than the woman1 that is from five 
to ten years older1 and this for many   
reasons4 ,man grows older more slowly   
than woman1 and keeps his power of      
reproduction longer4  ,before           
twenty-five or thirty years of age a    
man1 unless he be a born libertine1     
knows comparatively little of the world 
of woman1 and that only the worst1 and  
in his choice of a wife may make a      
terrible mistake4  ,then1 also1 the     
products of a too early union are weak  
and inferior2 the statistics of all     
countries show that there are more      
deaths among children of young parents  
than of older1 or if they live1 they are
 more weakly4  ,in the most simple      

problems of marriage1 as in the most    
complex and metaphysical1 it is always  
better to remember the fundamental      
doctrine1 that harmony and happiness are
 founded on the agreement of two very   
different instruments1 which ought      
always to accord with each other4 ,we   
should pay attention1 then1 to false    
notes6 ,if in an orchestra two          
instruments do not strike the right     
notes1 or if one goes too fast and the  
other too slow1 it is a very small      
matter1 and ends in a grimace upon the  
brow of the few who understand music4   
,but in marriage the slight discord is a
 wound in the heart of two beings1 who  
had joined hands for a happy life2 and  
there is always a cicatrix left1 which1 
like the wounds of veterans1 acts as a  
barometer to the least change of        
temperature1 of moisture1 or of an      
atmosphere charged with electricity4    
,the restless hand seeks to stop the    
sharp irritation1 and lacerates the     
cicatrix1 changing it to a chronic sore1

 which is always painful1 but never     
healed4  ,oh1 men6 oh1 women1 study     
counterpoint1 the harmony and melody of 
the heart1 body1 and soul1 day and      
night1 if you wish to gather the blessed
 and perfumed rose of married happiness1
 in the garden of life4    ,beyond the  
ideal perfection of number represented  
by the beautiful figure of two flowering
 and fragrant young lives1 you may have 
all these possible combinations1 which1 
with a crescendo of perils and          
accidents1 render the accordance of     
hearts and bodies always more difficult3
  ,two beings equally mature in age4    
,two old people4  ,a mature or old man  
and a young woman4  ,a young man and a  
middle-aged or old woman4  ,we see all  
these combinations pass daily beyond our
 eyes1 paired according to one or the   
other of these arithmetical             
formul--formul in which numbers weigh   
and govern human happiness with so      
tremendous an influence4  ,let us study 
them one by one4    ,man adult--woman   

adult3  ,this is one of the most        
favorable combinations1 the freest from 
danger and painful discovery4 ,if it be 
true that for this combination there is 
rarer access to the ,olympus of ardent  
love1 it is also true that shipwreck and
 cataclysm are rarer also4 ,the         
navigation is nearly always on a        
tranquil lake1 in a safe boat1 under the
 guidance of that best of helmsmen1 good
 sense4  ,the majority of such cases    
consists of old attachments interrupted 
by unsurmountable obstacles1 favoured   
again by some fortunate circumstance4   
,the two who had loved and hoped for    
each other in their youth1 find         
themselves free and their own masters1  
and all at once1 at a single glance1    
have called up from the depths a bright 
panorama of fond visions1 which for some
 time seemed to have disappeared in that
 abyss which buries and consumes all4   
,do you remember1 dear8  ,yes1 indeed ,i
 do6 ,i seem to see you still at your   
window on that ,sunday1 when1 after     

looking at me so long1 you threw me a   
kiss across the street1 when ,i believed
 ,i was hidden by the convolvulus on my 
balcony4  ,ah1 yes1 yes2 that kiss was  
the beginning of a long idyl which ,i   
seem to see rising from the mists of the
 past as though by enchantment--------  
,and from remembrance to remembrance a  
living and speaking world appears before
 those two once more1 but more beautiful
 and more rose-coloured in semblance    
than it was in reality2 enlarged by     
fancy1 the first of artists1 gilded by  
distant reminiscence1 which is ever     
optimist4  ,the old couple have some    
wrinkles on their faces and some threads
 of silver in their hair1 but they see  
each other as they were twenty years    
ago2 and if desires are indolent1 and   
the clasp of the hands does not set the 
heart beating2 if at night ardent dreams
 no longer disturb the peace of the     
passions1 an odour of loving friendship 
surrounds them and binds them closer to 
each other day by day1 and grows hourly 

more like love and less like friendship4
 ,they have so many remembrances in     
common4 ,they have twenty years of life 
to recount to each other1 and relating  
the sad and joyful events they          
alternately recount their recollections 
as though they had in reality lived     
together all the while1 so that mine    
becomes thine and then ours1 and without
 declaration or trepidation the happy   
day arrives when1 without any necessity 
of finishing the phrase or dotting the  
i1 the two right hands find themselves  
clasped together1 the lips join between 
a sigh that questions and one that      
answers3  ,really you wish--------8     
,and why not8  ,and the why not becomes 
because ,i do on the morrow1 and the man
 and woman become husband and wife2 and 
almost without agitation1 without       
accident1 they reach in safety the port 
of sure and tranquil happiness4  ,i     
recall two such marriages with emotion1 
those of ,stuart ,mill and ,hillebrandt4
  ,to these serene and tranquil unions  

children are not necessary1 but if they 
come they brighten and bless the house1 
bringing with them a nosegay of flowers 
and an odour of spring which makes those
 two happy mortals young once more4     
,two old people4  ,add some ten years to
 the arithmetical combination just      
studied and you will have a lower       
temperature1 but still less danger to   
the happiness of the two beings who1    
defying ridicule and prejudice1 wish to 
consecrate an old friendship upon the   
altar of matrimony4  ,i do not say altar
 as a matter of phraseology1 nor to do  
homage to the religious ceremony of     
marriage1 but because ,i am deeply      
convinced that if there be nothing      
beyond the union of bodies or           
association of capital marriage is a    
sacrilege4 ,the troth of two should     
always be plighted on an altar1 whether 
it be that of ,christ or of some ideal1 
of ,moses or ,mahomet1 of poetry or     
religion4  ,old people only marry once1 
either to win legitimacy for an old     

contraband love1 or to give a legal     
status to the children4 ,they are       
marriages of reparation1 corrections of 
proof-sheets set aside for many years   
and forgotten4 ,they merit our          
approbation and belong to those good    
actions of which ,christ speaks1 which1 
if done at the last hour1 make death    
less hard and allow us to die at peace  
and at rest with the faith1 which       
illuminates our souls and prepares us to
 start in the train that bears us to    
eternal silence1 or to the golden gates 
of the ,christian paradise4  ,in the    
marriage of two old people who love each
 other1 love is no intoxicating flower1 
but a friendship slightly gilded by     
sexual sympathy1 which endures longer   
than the reproductive function even as  
it precedes it4    ,a middle-aged man   
and a young woman3 ,if theory1 hygiene1 
logical concords1 and compacts proclaim 
the truth--which has all the force of a 
dogma--that an old man ought not to     
marry a young woman1 daily practice     

shows us that all these combinations are
 possible3    #dj   #bj    #ej   #ah    
#fj   #cj    #fj   #ae    #gj   #cj     
#gj   #bj    #hj   #dj    #hj   #cj     
#hj   #ae or #ah   ,all formul1 cold and
 precise as the numbers that make them  
up1 but full of a terrible crescendo of 
precipices and cataclysms6 ,they arouse 
before us the phantom of a perfect      
pandemonium1 and show us the horrors of 
a hell more dreadful than that of       
,dante4  ,how many tears1 how much      
blood1 bathe the path which divides     
those figures6 ,what deep and hidden    
hatred1 how much revenge premeditated   
during the night and put into practice  
in the clear light of day2 how many     
deceptions planned with the cruelty of  
art2 what repentance1 crimes1 intrigues1
 bitterness of soul2 how many tortures  
and struggles are written between those 
silent and lifeless figures8 ,yet1      
still1 you will find the rarest1 most   
complete1 and perfect happiness lying   
close to this hell1 like an oasis in the

 midst of a desert4  ,for example1 there
 are marriages of which the formula is  
#fj  #cj1 and even #ej  #ah1 that are   
real ,edens of delight1 where neither   
the most lovely and fragrant flowers of 
spring-time1 nor the sweet tendernesses 
of voluptuousness1 illimitable          
prospects1 painless sighs1 conversation 
without words1 nor all indescribable    
delights1 are wanting2 and where you    
have also the charm that belongs to     
difficulty1 and all the fascination     
which surrounds things sacred4  ,but why
 among these mute and dead numbers do we
 find the extremes of human misery and  
blessedness8 ,why do we see the most    
noble sacrifices and meannesses1 the    
most ignoble baseness and the highest   
ideality1 bound together1 with a cruel  
irony1 by a malignant fate2 why do we   
see angels and demons dancing together  
as though enchanted by some fantastic   
waltz8  ,for a very simple reason4      
,because the happiness of marriage      
between an old man and a young woman is 

nothing but an unstable and difficult   
balance granted to few4 ,but to those   
who are capable of feeling it1 it brings
 the sublime giddiness of the great     
heights4 ,everyone walks1 but few take  
the leap to death4 ,all climb the hills2
 exceedingly few have stood on the top  
of ,mont ,blanc4 ,but those who do not  
break their necks1 nor fall into the    
crevasses1 experience1 as they mount the
 highest and most difficult summit of   
the ,alps1 strong and fascinating       
emotions which make them proud and glad4
 ,all problems of life1 whether great or
 small or indifferent1 always have this 
dilemma hidden within them3  ,to dare or
 not to dare4  ,the ,rubicon is either  
an historical fact1 a myth1 or a        
romance4  ,i leave it to historians to  
decide2 but every practical problem of  
happiness has its rubicon1 at which the 
whole world pauses4  ,some turn back4   
,some leap over it4  ,the most of them  
remain still on the bank all their      
lives1 looking at the other side and    

scratching their heads4 ,after forty    
years of age bachelors or widows stand  
before the rubicon of marriage and say3 
,shall ,i go over or not8  ,the larger  
number wait so long to decide that the  
forty years become fifty and then sixty4
 ,the limbs become weaker and the river 
grows wider by the inundations and      
floods of so many autumns1 and thus the 
problem is resolved by want of          
resolution4  ,others instead1 after a   
short and earnest meditation1 exclaim3  
,no1 ,i will not leap it4  ,and both do 
well1 because although the calculation  
of probabilities is rarely applicable to
 moral problems1 yet it proves that the 
combination of an old man and a young   
woman is a very frail one2 at the least 
shock it is separated1 as with fulminant
 mercury1 chloride of azote1 and all the
 infinite array of explosives2 then     
comes a detonation1 a disaster1 more    
often a putrid and fetid dissolution4   
,some do not scratch their heads1 but   
decide resolutely on the great step and 

leap4  ,a difficult and perilous leap in
 which but few reach the other side     
unscathed4 ,the majority of these       
intrepid individuals fall into the      
middle of the stream1 which carries them
 away in its turbid and rough waters2   
others plunge directly into the mud up  
to the body and are fixed there1 without
 being able to get out1 a ridicule to   
others1 a desperation to themselves4    
,in that garden of ,gethsemane1 where   
all men drink of the cup of doubt1 in   
that garden of perplexity which we ought
 to leave with a yes or no and turn to  
the right or left1 knowing that one path
 leads to happiness1 the other to       
desperation1 without knowing1 however1  
which of the two ways leads whither2 in 
that garden1 ,i say1 my little book     
ought to serve as a guide to resolve one
 of the most difficult problems of      
marriage4  ,and ,i1 who have arrogated  
to myself this right of counsel1 will   
tell with a loud voice those who do care
 for my advice1 my fundamental and      

organic precept on which all the other  
minor points must rest4  ,marriage      
between an old man and a young woman may
 lead to happiness1 if inspired on both 
sides by love4  ,less surely will it    
lead to the same end if the love that   
leads them to the altar is all on one   
side4  ,it nearly always leads to       
unhappiness and ruin if the man is      
induced by sensuality1 or the woman by  
the desire of riches or by ambition4    
,and as this third case is the most     
common1 ,i will explain at once why     
those terrible arithmetical combinations
 are so fruitful in domestic misery1    
adultery1 and let us say crime1         
including those which the code does not 
regard4    ,at this point ,i see a      
malicious reader smiling1 and hear him  
say that ,i ought to be classed among   
those madmen and deceivers who think    
they have solved the problem of squaring
 the circle or of perpetual motion4     
,you tell me a marriage between an old  
man and a young woman may be happy1     

provided there be love on both sides4   
,but this is an impudent joke4 ,you may 
assure me with equal seriousness that ,i
 can catch a sparrow if ,i put salt upon
 its tail4 ,how1 when1 and where can a  
young woman1 fragrant of spring1 who    
seeks with eyes1 mouth1 nostrils1 with  
all senses1 the pollen which will       
fructify her and make her a mother2 how 
can she desire or love a man who is     
already on the decline of life and can  
offer his companion nothing but         
lasciviousness framed by rheumatism1    
catarrh1 dyspepsia1 and cough8  ,no1    
malicious reader1 ,i do not joke2       
neither have ,i endeavoured to solve    
insoluble problems4 ,i sincerely believe
 a young woman can love an old man1 but 
he must still be a man and handsome2 for
 robust1 flourishing1 and cheerful old  
age has a beauty of its own1 and if much
 is wanting it has the greatest         
resources and a certain delicate virtue1
 too1 which a young man does not        
possess4  ,love1 too1 has so many and   

such different forms1 and is composed of
 so many different elements1 that it can
 vibrate and burn even in the           
gray-headed4  ,the last love of ,goethe 
speaks of all these2 and the many warm  
and enduring passions awakened in young 
women by men eminent in politics1 arts1 
letters1 and science join in the chorus4
  ,if in these loves the ardour of the  
senses fails--and it must fail--we find 
much veneration1 tenderness1 and often a
 sweet compassion1 a sentiment that     
always predominates in the female       
breast4  ,young men are often bad       
husbands because they assume too much2  
they pretend that love should be laid at
 their feet1 as a tribute due to their  
beauty and transcendent vigour4 ,they   
claim that they have the right to be    
loved for themselves1 even when they on 
their side fulfil none of their duties4 
,the old man1 on the contrary1 feels his
 own weakness and implores love as a    
favour1 and responds to it with a warm  
and inexhaustible gratitude every hour  

and every minute4 ,he knows that little 
is due to him1 and contents himself with
 a smile1 a kiss1 or a caress1 which he 
doubles and centriples with his         
unfailing gratitude4 ,he guards his love
 as a treasure1 which may be taken from 
him from one moment to another2 he      
defends it with all his strength1       
encloses it in a tabernacle1 and adores 
it as a god4 ,his companion1 therefore1 
has always the peaceful surety that she 
will not be betrayed by other women4    
,that these unions may be blessed by    
happiness1 the husband and wife1 above  
all things1 must be gentle-people2 that 
is persons of honour1 who frankly accept
 the compact sworn to1 without reticence
 or subterfuge4  ,before the old man    
utters the tremendous yes he ought to   
present his account1 even increasing the
 credit and diminishing the debit2      
explain himself clearly and dot every i4
 ,therefore ,i entreat you when you make
 your fiance acquainted with your       
financial position1 be careful that each

 i has its dot1 aye1 even two4    ,such 
marriages as we are studying are far    
more frequent than we should at first   
suppose1 and the fortunate cases are    
also less rare than the theory would    
lead us to believe2 because women are   
far greater idealists in love than we   
are1 and whilst we chiefly seek beauty  
and carnal gratification1 they seek     
other things of a superior order1 which 
they appease with the heart of the      
artist1 and the phantasy of the poet4   
,the love of a man for an illustrious   
but ugly woman is a phenomenon rarer    
than a white fly4 ,the love of a young  
woman for a great1 but gray-headed man  
is tolerably common1 and is sufficient  
to do honour to the female sex4  ,but a 
man of mature age has other things      
besides to offer a young woman3 riches1 
a high social position1 many ambitions  
he can satisfy2 and he has a whole world
 of high1 good1 and pleasant things to  
lay at the foot of the woman1 and can   
say to her3 ,all this for a little love6

  ,i1 of course1 understand that these  
are international exchanges1 which are  
far removed from love1 and approach more
 nearly to commerce2 but the sacred     
books have often used the words carnal  
commerce without blushing1 and why can  
there not be a little commerce in       
matrimony8 ,provided the balance does   
not incline too much to one side1 and   
there is no deceit--in a word provided  
the one who weighs be a gentleman--such 
marriages may be happy1 too4    ,when a 
man marries a woman very much younger   
than himself1 people smile maliciously  
and point their fingers as if to ward   
off the evil eye1 and to show the daring
 individual that the ,minotaur awaits   
him4 ,in this case the populace cuts not
 one1 but a hundred gordian knots with a
 brutal and bestial sword4  ,adultery is
 a plant that grows in every clime1 but 
more especially where a woman fails in  
esteem for her companion1 and the clever
 sower and cultivator of these plants is
 always the husband4  ,i am so convinced

 of this truth1 that if statistics of   
adultery were possible1 ,i am certain ,i
 should find the greatest number amongst
 the unions of young people3 for they   
also make contracts of buying and       
selling1 of exchange of titles and      
dollars1 in their marriages4  ,if you1  
with your white hairs1 have the courage 
to marry a young woman1 study her       
character most of all4 ,if she be a     
thorough lady in education she will be  
less likely to betray you than if you   
were young2 for she is proud of herself 
and would not willingly commit a sin    
toward which the world would be so      
indulgent2 for women also like difficult
 things1 heroic undertakings2 because   
they like to say in their own hearts or 
throw in the face of their seducer the  
sublime motto3 noblesse oblige4    ,then
 in conclusion3  ,if1 with your white   
hairs1 you have the courage to bind your
 life to blond or brown tresses fragrant
 with youthfulness1 place yourself naked
 before the mirror in your chamber and  

look at yourself for some time4 ,then   
for a longer time put yourself before   
that other mirror of conscience which   
reflects us so inexorably2 and1 having  
balanced the accounts of your physical  
,i and your moral and intellectual me1  
see if you are still a possible man1 a  
handsome and strong man2 and if you find
 yourself a young woman who is more an  
angel than a woman1 more woman than     
female1 offer her your hand without too 
many scruples or false reticences1 and  
who knows but that when you die1 you may
 then be able to say3 8,the last years  
of my life have been my happiest4 ,in my
 youth ,i knew a hundred women1 in my   
old age ,i have only known one2 and she 
alone was worth the other hundred4      
,woman is the benediction of life40     
,a young man and old woman3  ,amongst   
the discordances of age between husband 
and wife1 none astonish us so much1 or  
,i ought to say disgust us more1 than   
when an old woman marries a young man4  
,there is the kernel of a great truth at

 the root of this scorn1 which springs  
from the very heart of nature4  ,a man  
may be a man even at eighty years of    
age2 and ,i cannot resist smiling when  
,i remember a lady who complained of the
 exactions of her companion1 a man over 
seventy4 ,we all remember ,fontenelle   
and the ,duke of ,richelieu1 in whom    
virility was only extinguished with     
life3 in the first case the life lasting
 for a century1 in the second for more  
than eighty years4  ,a woman1 on the    
contrary1 after forty-five1 or at the   
most after fifty years of age1 is no    
longer a woman1 and the reproductive    
faculty is entirely destroyed4 ,hence   
the marriage of a young man and old     
woman is more contrary to the laws of   
nature than that of an old man and a    
young woman4 ,the one may be fruitful1  
the other never4 ,add to the sthetic    
exigencies of the man the rapid         
decadence of the woman after the change 
of life1 and you will understand that   
the union we are discussing is one of   

the most repugnant and repulsive4 ,the  
motives which bring such a man and such 
a woman together are nearly always the  
most abject1 and amongst those that     
offend the moral sense the most4 ,on one
 side carnal gratification2 on the other
 the thirst for gold2 hence1            
prostitution on the part of the man1 the
 most filthy and disgusting in the      
commerce of love4 ,the man sells his    
youth1 his virility1 in exchange for    
money2 and the woman who no longer has a
 right to love1 buys it as a            
merchandise1 and is satisfied with the  
voluptuousness given her by one whom she
 ought to be the first to despise6 ,a   
market of lasciviousness and vileness1  
gold gathered from the mud--a mud1      
however1 which cannot be washed off1 and
 which soils hand1 conscience1          
everything it touches4  ,however1 for   
the honour of humanity1 such unions are 
exceedingly rare3 those who buy and sell
 and are satisfied with a clandestine   
concubinage1 hide the sin in the deep   

folds of our modern hypocrisy4          
,maintained1 yes2 a husband1 no6  ,a    
woman1 on the contrary1 always desires  
marriage1 because she has the pride of  
proclaiming to all the world1 that1     
notwithstanding her many years and      
innumerable wrinkles1 the wreck of her  
form which assails her on all sides1 she
 has known how to find a companion at   
bed and board1 who makes her happy4     
,man1 on the contrary1 hides himself on 
account of the modesty which is never   
wanting1 even in the vilest delinquents2
 and hiding his shame in the darkness of
 a clandestine concubinage1 hopes to    
preserve the esteem of men1 and the gold
 he has gained with that reddened face  
of his4 ,i will persist no longer on    
this theme because ,i hope that no young
 husbands of old women will ever read my
 book--they would soil it too much with 
their filthy hands--and because ,i have 
a great hope that they are all          
illiterate4    ,however1 before leaving 
this lurid argument1 ,i ought to say1   

for the love of truth1 that ancient and 
modern history register some exceedingly
 rare cases of union between old women  
and young men1 in which neither the     
desires of the flesh nor the thirst for 
gold entered at all2 they treat of      
intellectual unions in which the concord
 of souls1 the sympathy of hearts and   
thoughts1 the harmony of taste1 the     
affinity of humane propositions1 most   
charmingly unite two persons whom the   
difference in age would generally       
divide4  ,love is the greatest and most 
powerful worker of miracles1 it is the  
thaumaturgus of thaumaturgists1 and ,i  
in the small circle of my experiences   
know a young man1 who has never been    
able to desire or love a young woman1   
but adores old women2 and if he does not
 marry any of his venerable friends1 it 
is from fear of ridicule4 ,it is true   
that in this case we treat of an        
aberration of sexual instinct to be     
classed with sodomy and incest2 but this
 pathological nomad is seated in an     

otherwise normal and perfect brain4     
,intellectual unions on the other hand  
are physiological facts which offend no 
rights of nature1 and ought to be       
respected and studied1 as rare1 but most
 noble phenomena of the human heart4    
,with regard to the health of those     
desiring to take a wife1 and the health 
of our companion1 ,i will recommend to  
them my ,elementi d'igiene1 and more    
especially ,igiene d'amore1 where ,i    
have fully treated this vital side of   
the great problem4     ,,chapter ,,iv4  
,,physical ,,sympathies4--,,race ,,and  
,,nationality4   ,love is the strongest1
 the most irresistible1 the most fatal  
of chemical affinities1 and if potassium
 can extract oxygen from water1 unite   
with it1 light it1 and make it burn with
 a bright flame and conflagration1      
consider the case of a man who first    
sees a woman and feels that she is      
precisely the atom with whom it is his  
irresistible destiny to unite1 in order 
to kindle the flame of life4  ,it is no 

longer a simple electro-negative        
molecule which seeks1 absorbs1 and      
consumes the opposite electro-positive  
molecule1 but it is an organism1 an     
entire microcosm1 which attracts another
 microcosm on its own vortex1 so as to  
live united in the heaven of life1 as   
two stars above live united in a        
mysterious and eternal marriage4  ,there
 are all the cellules of the epidermis1 
and all the pores of the skin1 which    
seek the cellules and pores of the other
 organism2 there are the inward parts   
which palpitate1 the nerves which       
vibrate1 the feelings which weep and    
sob1 the thoughts that are crowded with 
all the soul's expression1 and seek     
those inner parts1 nerves1 affections1  
and thoughts1 which nature has made kin4
  ,not unjustly was the moment given    
that applicable ,french name1 ,coup de  
foudre4  ,lightning it is--that gigantic
 force which draws man and woman        
together and makes of them one being4   
,in its minor grades we call the force  

sympathy2 a little later1 when stronger1
 we call it love4    ,i detest pedantic 
preachers of prudence1 who make it      
consist of an emasculation of all       
virility of body and thought2 but ,i    
also appreciate the need of repeating to
 you3  ,distrust the flashes of         
lightning6  ,perhaps you will say to me3
 8,that is the same as preaching the    
doctrine3 do not believe in hunger1     
thirst1 or sleep40  ,flashes of         
lightning are apparently all alike1 but 
they are substantially different1 one   
from the other4 ,some are harmless--give
 a great light1 deafen one with the     
rumbling of thunder1 and there they end4
 ,they are momentary eruptions of the   
senses1 and nothing more4 ,but there are
 others that burn1 and cleave asunder   
all that they find in their way4 ,from  
these no lightning conductor can save   
us4 ,either one is dead or is struck by 
lightning1 which is the same as saying1 
electrified from head to foot by that   
force1 which has emanated from another  

body which perhaps needs ours1 and which
 perhaps we need ourselves4  ,reason on 
it if you will1 attempt to destroy the  
new passion in the crucible of analysis4
 ,you belong to another2 that other     
belongs to you1 if1 as often happens1   
the lightning flash has been reciprocal4
    ,the galvanization of love also     
occurs in another way1 not1 that is to  
say1 by fulmination1 but by small and   
slow currents which emit no sparks1 but 
have continuous emanation4  ,first1 a   
slight sympathy which touches the skin2 
then a deeper irritation like a tremor  
invades the muscles1 nerves1 and viscera
 through the epidermis1 and descends    
until it finds something living2        
stopping at the marrow of the bones1    
since there is nothing left to          
electrify4  ,theoretically1 this second 
mode of becoming enamoured ought to be  
more tenacious and more durable than the
 first1 from the axiom that intensity is
 equal to extension2 but practically we 
see a man and woman reach the same state

 either by fulmination or by a          
continuous current4 ,it is only a       
question of time1 whether we travel by  
express or slow trains2 we reach the    
same station in safety at last6 ,love is
 so skilful and powerful a magician that
 he makes us his prisoners more than    
once in two different ways4 ,first he   
strikes us1 then he electrifies us      
slowly1 and there is no human or divine 
power which can cure us of our passion4 
,we are no longer individuals1 we are   
things2 we are the perinde ac cadaver of
 the ,jesuits1 a member of which has    
conquered us4    ,the admirable laws of 
chemical affinity are well known to us1 
and we can follow the kindred and       
repellent atoms which group themselves  
under the exact law of numbers4 ,but    
those other laws which repel and attract
 human hearts and bodies are1 on the    
contrary1 scarcely divined by one who   
has eyes to read the great book of      
psychology1 where the letters are so    
minute1 the writing mysterious1 and even

 the numbering of the pages incorrect4  
,sympathy should be first physical1 then
 moral1 and lastly intellectual1        
following the highroad which leads from 
the less to the greater1 from that which
 is external to that which is internal4 
,everyone knows--even the boccali of    
,montelupo#b know--that opposite types  
seek and love each other4 ,the blond    
attracts the brown1 and vice versa2     
slight1 small women please giants and   
athletes2 delicate natures attract      
bears1 and so on4 ,but there are other  
occult and mysterious sympathies1 where 
it is not a case of a combination of    
opposites1 and where yet the attraction 
is exceedingly great and irresistible4  
,how often has it been a wonder to us to
 see an ugly woman adored by a very     
handsome man1 and an ugly man ardently  
sought after by women1 and having       
witnessed this strange antithesis we    
begin at once to speculate what impure  
explanation1 what vile or illicit       
trading with money or lasciviousness can

 account for it1 while really it is a   
simple fact of elective affinity1 the   
reasons for which escape us from our    
ignorance and short-sightedness4  #b    
,montelupo1 a village on the ,arno1 is  
still renowned for its crockery and     
terracotta4 ,it is highly probable that 
in the feudal times the mugs and        
drinking cups1 which are called         
8boccali0 even to the present time1 were
 made there2 they were exported in large
 quantities and became so plentiful     
throughout ,tuscany that when any news  
was widespread1 it was said to be known 
even by the ,boccali of ,montelupo4     
,hence the proverb4  ,look around you1  
and in the small circle of your own     
acquaintance you will find several such 
singular and extraordinary facts4 ,for  
my part ,i have under my eyes a young   
man1 the perfection of a man1           
aristocratic as regards birth1 mind1 and
 income1 who1 indifferent to the        
sympathies awakened in women at his     
every step1 is completely absorbed in a 

woman who is hardly feminine1 neither   
handsome nor young1 and to thousands of 
others indifferent or contemptible4  ,i 
see another young man desperately in    
love with the ruins of a woman1 where   
not even the compassionate ivy of       
coquetry covers the decay and           
deficiencies1 and in whom there is a    
complete wreck of all delicacy of       
outline4 ,he loved her so much that     
after many years he made her his wife1  
without any considerations of money4    
,it matters very little to your         
happiness or marriage whether lightning 
or inducted current has electrified you1
 but sympathy ought to exist between the
 man and the woman4 ,for charity's sake1
 for the love of ,god1 do not forget    
this2 do not believe in the common      
proverb1 which has made so many victims3
 ,marry if all considerations of income 
and of age agree4 ,love will come after4
 ,no6 love will not come after1 except  
by chance1 and in exceedingly rare      
cases4 ,there will come to you1 on the  

contrary1 reciprocal antipathy1         
adultery1 a lie in the very surname of  
your children2 there will come all those
 lively intrigues through which our fine
 and virtuous modern society moves4 ,if1
 in the first choice of love1 the man   
and woman do not approach each other    
with a tremor of holy fear2 if their    
hands do not meet each other intoxicated
 with the touch2 if the first kiss be   
not a passion1 the first embrace a      
delirium1 renounce forever the sweet and
 fond blessedness of the dual life4     
,the physical sympathy between a man and
 woman is a road which may lead to      
paradise1 but how often may one lose    
one's self on the road before entering  
the field of affection and thought4     
,the only logical people in the world   
are those savages who1 before giving    
themselves forever1 make a trial on both
 sides1 and separate or marry1 according
 to the result of the experience4 ,but  
such moral and modest people as we are1 
must content ourselves with guessing2   

and woe to us if we make a mistake4     
,fortunately1 the sympathy which is     
awakened by a mere study of the woman's 
outward form nearly always agrees with  
that deeper one which arises from the   
agreement of the temperaments1 by reason
 of the solidity which unites the       
different offices of an organism4  ,but 
it happens only too often that the      
interior is different from the exterior1
 and a man of ice has taken for his own 
a woman of fire1 or vice versa4  ,in    
many codes of law incompatibility of    
temper is a sufficient cause for        
divorce1 but is not incompatibility of  
temperament a more prolific cause for   
domestic discord8 ,legislators and      
theologians have for some time raised   
this last veil which hides the shrine of
 love1 but in their verdict or the      
clauses of their laws1 have they        
contributed or not to the happiness of  
matrimony8  ,i believe not1 for in      
modern codes the duties and genital     
rights of two married people are only   

confined to the preservation of the     
race4 ,beyond that they say nothing1 and
 they do well4 ,but of that other       
unwritten code which guides our         
individual conduct1 do they say nothing1
 do they teach us nothing8 ,they do not 
even give us a guide-book1 or even only 
time-tables of fifteen centuries1 like  
those of the railway4 ,after having     
studied man and woman for nearly half a 
century1 after having dared to raise    
every veil1 to sound every cavity1 to   
feel every pulse that beats1 every nerve
 that vibrates1 as physician1           
anthropologist1 and psychologist1 this  
is all ,i have learnt4    ,the ideal of 
physical harmony between two married    
people is1 that each one should feel the
 same hunger1 and feel it for the same  
thing4  ,but as this occurs tolerably   
seldom1 it is better that the man1 who  
is always the leader of the orchestra of
 two1 should give the la2 that is1 raise
 or lower the tone so that there shall  
be perfect harmony4 ,the thing is not so

 difficult2 for if the great masters    
succeed in making the hundred           
instruments of an orchestra keep time   
and tune1 should it not be easier to    
tune two instruments only8  ,above all1 
remember that the music has to last many
 long years1 and it is better to        
accustom your companion from the very   
beginning1 so to proceed that she may   
not tire1 but may reach the end         
unscathed4 ,if you begin with quavers   
and semi-quavers1 poor you6 ,your       
companion of the orchestra will accustom
 herself to that tempo1 which will      
become a necessity for her--for you it  
may be a catastrophe4  ,even without    
supposing an excessive lust in the      
woman2 even if you have been so         
fortunate as to have found one with more
 heart than feelings2 she will believe  
she is no longer loved1 and in the      
secret silence of the night-watches will
 shed tears1 measuring your love by the 
early change in the broken music4       
,notwithstanding what ,i have written of

 genital hygiene2 notwithstanding that  
others have followed me in the same     
road1 throwing down the walls which     
supported the ignorance of the things of
 love2 women are still too often most   
ignorant1 and measure love by the notes 
of music4#c ,think then on the future1  
which comes quickly1 and like a hungry  
dog devours the miserable present1 and  
from the very first days begin with an  
andante moderato1 and if your means     
permit1 go even to the allegretto2 but  
for charity's sake do not proceed to    
quavers and semi-quavers4  #c ,whilst   
writing this1 a courageous book on this 
subject has appeared in ,germany3 8,der 
,kampf der ,geschlechter1 eine ,studie  
aus dem ,leben1 und fr das ,leben40     
7,the ,struggle of the ,sexes4 ,a ,study
 from ,life and for ,life74--,leipzig1  
#ahib4 ,a volume of #agc pp4 ,it is     
written by a woman already noted in the 
literary world in ,germany1 who has     
published several novels under the      
fictitious name of ,franz von           

,wemmorsdorf4    ,i find ,i am treading 
on the field of the hygiene of          
matrimony1 whilst ,i ought only to speak
 of what precedes it4 ,without making   
the experiment of the savages1 you would
 like to know to a nicety the strength  
of the appetite for love which your     
future companion feels8 ,well1 then1    
begin to study her family and1 above    
all1 her mother1 who bequeaths her      
nervous system to her children1 with all
 its accompaniments and connections1    
with sensibility1 chastity1 or          
debauchery4 ,nothing is more hereditary 
than the capacity for love1 and ,i have 
under my eyes terrible examples of      
calamities1 which occurred from a study 
of the fiance alone1 without any thought
 of her father and mother4  ,i myself   
advised a dear friend of mine to marry a
 young girl who appeared to be1 and had 
been up to that time1 the goddess of    
modesty1 the angel of chastity2 ,i wrote
 my milla osta on the passport of my    
friend1 and he1 who was good enough to  

believe me a great specialist in this   
abstruse matter1 embarked trustfully and
 happily on the tempestuous sea of      
matrimony4 ,alas6 after a few months the
 goddess of modesty had become a        
,mepalura6--,i had forgotten to inquire 
after the temperament of her father and 
mother4  ,having made the hereditary    
inquiry1 and found the young lady with a
 clean bill of health1 you must study   
her4  ,on an equality with other        
conditions1 if you desire a tranquil and
 not exacting wife1 seek these elements 
in her3  ,light hair1 blue eyes1 fairly 
stout1 a calm expression1 natural       
movements1 little or no nervousness1    
lips rather thin1 no protuberance of the
 upper lip4 ,great love of children1 a  
sure sign of a great development of the 
sentiment of maternity1 which is the    
most powerful restraint on exaggerated  
desires of the flesh4  ,if1 on the      
contrary1 you desire an ardent woman1   
you will more easily find her with black
 eyes and hair1 dark skin1 tumid and    

thickish lips1 a thin frame4 ,she will  
be nervous1 very sensitive1 of a        
capricious character1 she will have     
glances of fire and snakelike movements4
  ,all these physical and moral         
lineaments are very gross1 and only have
 value as general observations1 such as 
one reads on passports1 equally suited  
to a hundred different people4 ,i myself
 must make a criticism on these two     
examples of mine although they are taken
 from life1 and are the result of many  
repeated observations4 ,as regards the  
blonde and brunette ,i ought1 for       
example1 to make you at once aware that 
,i mean to speak of those nations in    
which there is a great mixture of ethnic
 types1 which gives us in the same city1
 in the same village1 women with light1 
chestnut-coloured or black hair4 ,where 
all are light1 or all are dark1 we still
 find women of ice and of fire1 without 
any change in the colour of their skin  
or hair4  ,the fullness of body is of   
greater importance1 for it has a more   

intimate and varied connection with the 
general nutrition of the whole organism4
 ,it is very rare to find an exacting   
woman amongst the corpulent1 unless they
 are hysterical1 and1 from the          
protuberant lip and bosom1 are condemned
 to sterility4 ,it is equally rare to   
find a cold woman amongst thin ones4    
,the fleshiness of the lip is a good    
index by which to measure the sensuality
 of a woman1 and it is so sure a one    
that ,i have given it an ethnic         
character1 having found it in the most  
different races of ,asia and ,africa1   
where polygamy is usual1 and physical   
love is the first pleasure and first    
occupation of man and woman4    ,i do   
not suppose it likely that any of my    
readers will marry a negress1           
,hottentot1 or ,australian savage1 so ,i
 need not speak of the hybridism of     
races1 or the consequences of the       
possible unions4 ,if1 before ,i die1 ,i 
have the supreme joy of writing my      
monograph on man1 my microcosm2 then ,i 

shall be able to tell you my ideas about
 it1 confessing to you at once my       
profession of faith1 which is this1 that
 all those who deplore the effects of   
the union of races1 saying it is always 
injurious to the future generations1 are
 mistaken2 as well as those of the      
opposite school1 who always proclaim it 
to be useful4 ,the crossing of a        
superior race with an inferior one      
lowers the first and elevates the       
second1 thus giving a product of medium 
goodness4  ,the union of two races      
equally superior1 generally gives an    
inferior product1 but a product         
different from the two types who have   
fused their blood in the crucible of    
love4  ,the union of a mediocre and     
elevated race1 produces very different  
effects1 according to conditions4       
,these1 however1 are as yet little      
known1 and must be studied by degrees4  
,if1 however1 you will never marry a    
negress1 nor a redskin1 and very        
probably neither a ,chinese nor         

,japanese1 it is easy enough for you to 
become enamoured of an ,english1        
,german1 or ,spanish woman3 and in the  
present day1 when railways and          
telegraphs bring nations so near        
together1 and break down barriers2      
marriage is preparing the way for the   
future ,united ,states of ,europe1 which
 will certainly become the keystone of a
 cosmic republic1 that of the ,civilized
 ,states of the ,world4  ,the           
differences of type and sympathy between
 opposite natures easily prompt to a    
warm love between dark and fair nations4
 ,more than one ,italian has been       
obliged to fly from ,scandinavia on     
account of the excessive sympathy which 
he awakened in those fair innocent      
daughters of the ,edda2 and if a        
fair-haired son of ,arminius goes into  
,spain or ,south ,america1 it is very   
seldom that he returns to his mother    
country without a wife1 or without great
 spoils won in the mighty victories of  
love4  ,is this a good8 ,is it an evil8 

,for the children it is nearly always a 
benefit2 for married people it is often 
an evil4 ,the felicity of husband and   
wife is sacrificed to the species1 and  
it is your duty to set these different1 
but probable1 consequences of union in  
the balance and weigh them4  ,the       
differences which we sum up under the   
word nationality1 are not as marked as  
race differences1 but they approach     
them2 nationality is always and in every
 way the complex sum of infinite        
physical1 moral1 and intellectual       
elements which make an ,englishman so   
different from a ,spaniard1 and an      
,italian so unlike a ,norwegian4  ,to be
 of a different country from that of our
 companion implies not only the speaking
 of a different language but the loving 
different things1 the feeling1 thinking1
 hating1 and desiring things unlike4 ,we
 are all living fragments of a long     
history of many centuries1 and to unite 
and make two beings agree who were born 
under separate skies1 educated with     

diversity of taste1 with different      
ideals of religion1 morality1 politics1 
and customs1 is possible1 but difficult 
and uncommon4 ,look around1 and you will
 find that the most frequent motive of  
these msalliances is nearly always some 
pecuniary interest1 or else one of rank1
 unless an all-powerful love has        
submerged the other incitements toward a
 reasonable marriage in its tumultuous  
and furious waves4 ,amongst other       
marriages those of ,american girl       
millionaires1 who come to ,europe to    
exchange their dollars for shields      
bearing the arms of our counts1         
marquises1 and princes1 are very well   
known4  ,the difference of nationality  
in two married people is just one point 
lessening the probability of their      
happiness1 and it is aggravated a       
hundred times if a difference in        
religion is added to the scale4  ,there 
is no great love without great faith1   
and he who loves much finds the speaking
 of another language1 the following of  

dissimilar customs1 the praying in a    
church or mosque1 but insignificant     
obstacles4 ,but great love1 however long
 it may last1 calms down and becomes a  
tender and fond habit2 and when the sea 
of passion is calmed one looks through  
the water1 now grown so clear and       
transparent1 and sees at the bottom the 
points of diversity of faith1 taste1 and
 habits1 standing up ruggedly1 the rocks
 rising and coming to the surface1 and  
rendering navigation difficult and full 
of perils4 ,the honeymoon is then hidden
 behind the dense stormy clouds1 and the
 mariners run into the shallows of      
indifference1 or dash the vessel against
 the waves of incompatibility and       
domestic discord4  ,the calkers may come
 with their gold and their coats of arms
 to patch up the wreckage1 but it will  
always be patched badly1 and the holy   
concord of bodies and souls will be lost
 forever4     ,,chapter ,v4  ,,the      
,,harmony ,,of ,,feelings4   ,fish1     
birds1 and mammals1 when they feel      

themselves fit for love and wish to win 
it1 develop new organs1 new songs1 the  
newest seductions1 and with sthetic or  
musical fascination engage in the       
pleasant warfare of voluptuousness4     
,they show the female all they have of  
the best1 all that is most irresistible1
 and thus obtain the prize of victory4  
,so do men and women4 ,they adorn       
themselves1 hide their defects1 and make
 a show of their beauty1 but as the     
battle between them is fought on a      
higher plane1 each one polishes up rusty
 virtues1 invents new ones1 and sends   
his vices or moral weaknesses to prison 
or into exile4  ,painters1 carpenters1  
artists are about the house from morning
 to evening1 in order to make everything
 clean and bright1 as if in expectation 
of an illustrious guest or a great      
personage4  ,and they are right1 for the
 guest they expect is no less than love4
  ,the fish1 birds1 and mammals cease to
 sing and shed their horns when the     
breeding season is over1 and become     

lowly and ordinary1 even as they were   
before the marriage4 ,and the companion1
 who has been enticed by the            
representation now realized1 finds no   
room for odious comparisons or regrets1 
for she and her mate are already        
separated and neither thinks of the     
other4  ,with man1 however1 when once   
the victory is gained1 the curtain of   
the comedy of love falls4 ,but the      
marriage remains4  ,it remains with the 
defects which return to view1 with the  
vices which spring afresh from the      
pollard boughs2 and with the little     
sins1 returning from their exile and    
creeping home1 one after the other4     
,this is one of the most fruitful       
sources of the deceptions of matrimony1 
and it must be prevented4 ,we ought to  
discover the real truth1 under all the  
coquetry of the sex1 and to know what   
metal lies beneath the varnish and      
polish4 ,this artificial beautifying of 
man and woman who woo is not hypocrisy1 
but a natural and irresistible desire of

 showing our best to the person we love1
 and hiding from him our worst4 ,but    
from this innocent desire we mount a    
flight of many steps1 until we come to  
the blackest hypocrisy1 which transmutes
 brass into gold1 glass into diamond1   
demon into angel4  ,exceedingly few see 
clearly when they have the spectacles of
 love before their eyes1 and love has1  
not unjustly1 been painted from the     
remotest antiquity with his eyes        
bandaged4  ,the lover is so blind1 or1  
perhaps one would rather say1 is so     
afflicted with altruism as to mistake   
colours1 and1 under such an             
hallucination1 to see virtues where     
there are vices1 to find weakness of    
character agreeable1 a lie a jest1 and  
treachery a game4  ,the most acute      
spirit of observation1 the most profound
 knowledge of the human heart1 do not   
suffice to protect us from these        
seductions1 which make us see the loved 
one through a rose-coloured glass4      
,yet discord of character is the gravest

 peril1 and unfortunately the commonest 
to marriage1 and it may reach such a    
degree as to oblige husband and wife to 
separate4 ,where the law permits        
divorce1 it becomes the terrible        
situation which1 in official and legal  
language1 is called incompatibility of  
temper4  ,and what does this dreadful   
word mean8 ,what monster is this1 that  
can divide what love has joined1 that   
can transform sensual pleasure to       
torture1 honey to gall1 heaven to hell8 
,when ,i write my book1 ,i caratteri    
umani1 which ,i have been meditating and
 working at for so many years1 perhaps  
,i may be able to get more light upon   
this obscure point of individual and    
national psychology4 ,but at present ,i 
am satisfied to treat the problem on    
wide lines1 and only as far as it       
contributes to the happiness of         
marriage4 ,in the mean time let me state
 the terrible fact1 once and for all1   
that among the many discords which are  
possible between the man and the woman1 

none exercises a more weighty influence 
than that which arises from want of     
union in character4  ,there may be      
happiness between a rich man and a poor 
woman2 between a poor man and a rich    
woman2 an elderly woman and a young man2
 an old man and a young woman2 between  
two different intellects and educations2
 we have rare but well-confirmed        
examples of harmony between all these   
contemporaneous discords4 ,but when     
characters cry out against and strike   
one another1 ,lasciate ogni speranza o  
voi che entrate2 then desperation will  
be the habitual state of the dual       
existence4    ,incompatibility of       
character does not mean a difference of 
taste1 affections1 aspirations2 for     
differences are necessary to perfect    
harmony1 and the man and woman 7we have 
repeated it a hundred times7 love each  
other better and better the more the man
 is a man and the woman a woman--which  
is as much as to say the more different 
they are4  ,in common language          

incompatibility of character means1 for 
example1 to harness an ox and a horse of
 ,arab breed to the same carriage2 to   
put a tortoise and a deer to walk       
together2 to tie a goose and a swallow  
to the same cord1 and condemn them to   
fly together2 and if these comparisons  
fall short of the reality1 it is because
 their enormity does not reach by a very
 long way the psychical discords of men 
and women4  ,in that monstrous pairing  
of the deer with the tortoise1 the horse
 with the ox1 the swallow with the      
goose1 only locomotion is treated of2   
but for the race that a man and a woman 
must take through life it is a matter   
not only of velocity1 but of environment
 and measure2 of all that can modify    
senses1 sentiments1 and thoughts4 ,to   
find a comparison which at all suits or 
pictures truthfully the tortures of two 
badly matched individuals who must live 
together1 ,i can only take that of a    
fish and a bird condemned to live       
together4 ,but this comparison is not   

even good1 for either the fish or the   
bird would die surely and quickly1 but  
of the man or woman neither dies1 but   
live a death in life1 feeling nothing of
 life but disgust1 pain1 and wrong4     
,convicts also are paired with a chain  
without any regard to their sympathies1 
but they have at least the psychical    
relationship of crime1 and often vice1  
which brings them near each other1 and  
also that other common hope of escape   
that makes them allies and even         
brethren2 but in that other galley of a 
badly assorted marriage there is not one
 chain alone1 but a hundred and a       
thousand1 all invisible1 with as many   
nerves connecting two existences        
condemned to the sad communion of a     
common torture which is doubled for each
 by the suffering of the other4  ,there 
is the chain of the heart1 the chains of
 taste and sympathy1 the chains of      
antipathy1 habits1 desires1 and regrets2
 and along the length of these chains   
there run currents of spite1 hatred1    

rancour1 malediction1 vengeance1 and    
retaliation4  ,the slightest movement on
 one side is communicated to the other  
by the chains1 and makes that other feel
 his pain1 which he returns doubled by  
its own force and rendered crueller by  
the desire of revenge4 ,so each wrong   
has an echo1 and the echo is doubled and
 increased a hundredfold1 until the     
whole life becomes a torment1 as if     
every nerve had tetanus1 and every organ
 of body and soul was transformed into a
 tooth suffering spasms of pain4 ,when a
 long-forgotten wound is cicatrised1 and
 a rougher movement than usual re-opens 
the wound anew1 in that martyred frame  
there is not a member which does not    
suffer nor a single feeling that is not 
pain4  ,this is the meaning of          
incompatibility of character1 which has 
been adjudged with reason by legislators
 as a sufficient cause for divorce1 and 
it is1 and ought to be1 more so than    
impotence1 bad treatment1 or any other  
cause of separation4    ,this want of   

harmony in sentiment has only too many  
and too varied forms1 but at the        
foundation there is always this         
skeleton3  ,that which ,i like you      
dislike2 that which makes you happy     
makes me suffer4  ,woman is an ermine1  
who allows herself to be killed rather  
than cross a field of snow soiled by    
mud4  ,man1 on the contrary1 is like a  
chimpanzee1 who loves dirt and soils    
himself with it4 ,there is no part of   
his body or soul which does not love    
this mud4  ,how can two such creatures  
live together8    ,he is an optimist    
even to cynicism1 an egoist even to     
adoration of himself1 and his motto is1 
,aprs moi le dluge4  ,she is a pessimist
 from having placed her ideal so high   
that no human hand can reach it4 ,she   
cannot not live an hour without loving  
and dedicating a thought1 an act1 or a  
sacrifice to the good of some           
fellow-creature4  ,how could they ever  
live together8    ,he has never felt the
 want of the supernatural1 and believes 

neither in ,god nor in a soul4  ,she was
 born a mystic1 and the maternal        
education has made her religious and    
superstitious4 ,she has a very strong   
tendency to asceticism4  ,how could two 
such beings be happy together8    ,he is
 frank1 expansive even to imprudence1   
impetuous even to wrath4 ,he says out   
straightly what he thinks1 swears and   
curses1 only to forget within an hour   
the storm which overwhelmed him4  ,she  
is close1 shut as with seven seals1     
timid1 diffident1 and only expresses the
 tenth part of what she feels1 and even 
regrets that slight expansion4          
,susceptible as a sensitive plant1 she  
starts if she meets a grain of sand1 a  
hair1 or a feather which touches her4   
,she finds an offence and want of       
respect in everything1 suspects evil    
everywhere1 and even in good seeks bad  
intentions with all the zeal of an      
inquisitor4  ,will these two live       
happily together8    ,he is a           
misanthrope from indolence and          

diffidence2 he detests society and      
avoids it4  ,she adores cheerful        
society1 garrulous and merry talk1      
theatres1 balls1 not that she may seek  
an opportunity for sin in these places1 
but simply because she adores what is   
noisy and deafening4  ,join these two   
together--how can they bless matrimony8 
,by instinct and education he is        
democratic1 detests all forms of        
despotism from the tailor to the        
government4 ,he is a socialist1 and     
would be an anarchist if he had not a   
sound heart and did not love his kind   
passionately4  ,she is of a decayed     
noble family1 keeps and adores the      
family coat of arms2 when anyone from   
politeness calls her marchioness she    
reddens with pleasure1 and her heart    
swells with pride4 ,she has a profound  
and sincere respect for authority1 and  
bows reverently before priests1         
soldiers1 millionaires1 and princes4    
,can these two together bless life8     
,he is avaricious1 but will not confess 

to it2 he makes a secret of his income  
to be able to complain constantly of his
 poverty4 ,nothing escapes his domestic 
financial inquisition4 ,not a halfpenny 
is given in alms at his door1 not a     
match burnt uselessly4 ,coffee grounds  
are never thrown away without first     
extracting a second and third edition4  
,the querulous wailings of his laments  
over excessive expenditure and taxation 
fill the air around him with a bad odour
 of mildew and closeness4  ,she is      
generous1 and noble in her hospitalities
 and charities4 ,she likes enjoyment    
herself1 and to make the enjoyment of   
others1 and to hear it responded to by  
all with 8,thank you1 thank you60 ,she  
cannot understand how one can torment   
oneself to-day by thinking of the still 
distant day after to-morrow2 even the   
fascination of an uncertain to-morrow   
allures her4 ,she believes warmly in    
,providence and ,fortune1 and earnestly 
defends the thoughtless4  ,and these are
 husband and wife6  ,he is always in a  

state of febrile excitement or of       
depression4 ,he declares to all that the
 most unhappy man is he who feels no    
enthusiasm1 and that the most happy man 
is he who feels everything1 and hopes   
that he himself is such an one4  ,she   
instead is always cold1 derides every   
form of enthusiasm1 because it seems to 
her a species of madness2 detests       
poetry1 all psychical pleasures1 and all
 passions when they pass #aj            
,centigrade2 derides heroism1 sacrifice1
 and martyrdom1 contenting herself by   
declaring it to be the matter of a novel
 or a stage play4  ,and these two--can  
they live happily together8  ,these few 
examples1 taken from the stage of the   
real world1 will be sufficient to give  
you an idea of the many discords of     
character one finds in the union of     
marriage4  ,certainly all are not so    
flagrant or so keenly accentuated1 but  
they are more complex and complicated1  
whilst the discord is rarely upon one   
note only1 but upon many together4  ,and

 what can we do to defend ourselves from
 the peril of incompatibility of temper8
  ,in one way only3 by studying and     
restudying the character of her whom we 
wish to make our companion for life4    
,after being convinced that she will    
show herself better than she really is  
we must make every effort to surprise   
her in undress1 or1 better still1 in a  
state of nudity4 ,naturally ,i speak in 
a figurative sense4 ,i should wish to   
see her nude of all artifices of        
coquetry and hypocrisy4 ,begin to       
examine the moral surroundings in which 
she lives1 and before studying her study
 the future father- and mother-in-law4  
,she is only a branch of that plant upon
 which you wish to graft your life1 and 
a great part of the children's character
 is that of their parents4  ,it is      
exceedingly rare for a loose1 libertine 
mother to have a chaste daughter1 and a 
lily of innocence is hardly ever born   
into a family of impostors4 ,we have    
spendthrift sons of a miserly father1   

and vice versa2 bigoted children of     
atheistic parents1 and disbelievers sons
 of bigots2 but as regards moral habits 
there is very rarely the heredity of    
antagonism4  ,examine especially the    
moral surroundings in which the young   
girl was born and has grown up2 her     
habits1 the books she reads1 the        
amusements she prefers4 ,gain           
information as to the character of her  
friends1 for in them as in a glass you  
will often see the soul of the woman you
 wish to make yours4  ,i know an angelic
 woman with many friends who vie with   
each other in loving her1 and are       
jealous one of the other for her        
affection4 ,these friends are all       
unusual women1 of refined tastes1       
delicate feelings1 and generous hearts4 
,they all chaunt her virtues in chorus1 
and1 without knowing1 ,i judged her from
 her friends to be an angel1 and ,i was 
not mistaken4  ,after having made your  
psychological research as regards her   
parents and friends do not disdain to   

descend to a more humble sphere4        
,question her maid1 cook1 coachman1     
dressmaker1 and the labourers on her    
estate3 all those who for one reason or 
another serve and obey her4  ,no one    
knows us better than those who serve us1
 for whom we make no pretence to        
hypocrisy or ostentation of false       
virtues1 and if a lady's maid does not  
know how to make a psychological        
analysis of the young lady she can show 
us the most intimate secrets of her     
character4 ,noble1 generous1 and good   
natures never ill treat their servants2 
or they feel all that compassion for    
them which their position merits1 and   
apply toward them the daily and domestic
 virtues of a tender and affectionate   
benevolence4 ,always doubt the character
 of those who are changing their        
servants frequently4 ,they are nearly   
always ill disposed1 and being unable to
 vent their evil instincts in higher    
circles1 begin to torment their slaves  
at home4  ,they pour forth on the lady's

 maid1 dressmaker1 or hairdresser all   
the disappointed vanity1 hidden         
jealousy1 bad temper1 and anger of their
 petty social struggles4  ,then if they 
feel the need of being despotic they    
satisfy it by using their power over    
those poor victims paid at so much a    
month1 and condemned to live on the     
moral excrements of their masters4 ,i   
know ladies of the highest financial and
 hereditary aristocracy who are not     
ashamed to beat their maids brutally and
 cruelly4 ,if you succeed in learning   
this do not overlook it1 do not pardon  
it1 but fly the contact of one who will 
exercise her own evil-mindedness and    
despotism upon you1 and later on1 upon  
your children4    ,i prophesy that when 
you have finished your examination on   
heredity and friendship1 and that closer
 inquiry into your dear one's home      
affairs1 you will find the sister soul  
to your own--she with whom you will sing
 the hymn of perfect happiness all your 
life1 the only perfect happiness1 that  

of a union of two4 ,but this is the     
rarest good fortune4 ,in most cases you 
will find neither absolute discord nor  
ideal harmony1 but a partial accord1    
which with labor and good will you will 
be able to convert gradually into       
perfect harmony4  ,if your love is great
 and deep1 if it pours out from the     
viscera of your whole organism1 if she  
loves you well and enough1 rest assured 
that the rocks will fall to pieces1 the 
mountains be levelled1 and the thorns be
 removed1 for love is the most skilled  
magician1 and knows even how to convert 
gall into honey4 ,woman is cleverer than
 all the rest of the world in this      
thaumaturgic work1 and you must really  
be the most stupid egotist1 the most    
antipathetic creature in the whole      
universe1 if your companion cannot      
succeed in making you agree with her    
after a few months4 ,and yet1 take care4
 ,this harmony ought not to be that of a
 victim resigned or a slave subjected2  
that would be an artificial agreement   

which lasts a short time only1 and      
thrives but ill4 ,it must be a slow and 
clever adaptation of the sharpness of   
the one to the roundness of the other4  
,it must be an intelligent and tender   
acclimation to surroundings1 tastes1 and
 habits1 so that the rebellious sprig   
may be bent without pain or breaking1 so
 that the vine leaves may seem pleased  
at their connection with the pollard#d  
which supports them1 and the bright and 
ruddy bunches of grapes seem to smile   
with joy on foliage and pollard alike4  
,happiness1 too1 is a tree which        
requires a wise and loving cultivation4 
,we men are the pollards2 the vine is   
our companion who leans upon us1 bound  
there by the withes of love and of      
reciprocal indulgence4 ,above all things
 marry a good woman1 one1 too1 who loves
 you--not for the title you bear1 not   
for the gold which fills your chests1   
but because she admires and esteems you1
 and is proud to bear your name4  #d ,it
 is customary in ,tuscany to plant      

pollards in the vineyards for the       
purpose of supporting the vines1 and    
these are bound to the pollards with    
willow twigs4--,,tr4  ,and then you may 
be sure that the little discords of     
character will be surmounted1 and in the
 indulgence with which your companion so
 patiently bears with your defects you  
will find every day and every hour a    
proof of that love which will only cease
 with your last breath4     ,,chapter   
,,vi4  ,,harmony ,,of ,,thoughts4       
,ought we to marry a silly1 an          
intelligent1 or a literary woman8  ,if  
this question were to be answered by    
public vote we should probably have the 
following ratio3  ,for the silly woman1 
#aj votes4  ,for the literary woman1 #j 
vote4  ,for the intelligent woman 7that 
is1 of normal ability71 #ij votes4  ,in 
this century1 in which the voice of the 
majority takes the place of right and   
reason1 the problem would be solved by  
that meeting of which ,i have guaranteed
 the result4  ,in all cases1 however1   

this verdict ought to be preceded by    
many and varied comments if it is to be 
converted into practical counsels to    
those about to take a wife4  ,the ten   
who have voted for the silly woman would
 say that they did not desire an idiot1 
but1 on the contrary1 a woman slightly  
foolish1 but not too much so4 ,but      
together with this defect they would    
wish to have her handsome1 young1 and   
very good-tempered4 ,they seek above all
 a companion who helps them to keep     
healthy and merry4 ,there is nothing    
more charming1 more sympathetic1 more   
irresistible1 than a little absurdity   
from a pretty mouth4 ,it makes one      
laugh2 and when our laugh provokes that 
of the one who has uttered it1 and she  
shows her beautiful teeth in rows like  
pearls1 oh6 bless the folly and her who 
spoke it4  ,the ninety who have given no
 vote to the literary woman wish us to  
understand that they like an educated   
woman1 but detest pedantry1 and that    
nothing in the world could make them    

desire a bas-bleu2 much less a          
choupette-bleue1 a variety of the first1
 so named by ,balzac4  ,having heard    
these comments1 let us now make ours4   
,it is only too true that in our        
,italian society the general culture is 
much below that which one meets with in 
,france1 ,germany1 ,england1 and the    
,united ,states4 ,we have the courage to
 confess this in our own home if for no 
other reason than with the hope that the
 shame which mounts to our faces may    
induce us to remove this national blot  
from our children4  ,men of little      
culture desire even less in their wives1
 in order that at least in their family 
circle their credit may be unimpugned4  
,from this arises a general repugnance  
to teach our girls too many things1 from
 this comes the antipathy to the higher 
girls' schools and to all that tends to 
elevate the intellectual level of our   
companions4 ,up to the present time the 
hasty and ill-digested attempts have not
 helped to modify public opinion for the

 better2 the only people who dedicate   
themselves to higher learning in one way
 or another are the ugly1 hysterical1 or
 very poor4  ,we all open our eyes very 
widely before a lady doctor or a        
literary woman as before some wonderful 
phenomenon which perhaps may change our 
8,ah60 of astonishment to an 8,oh60 of  
admiration2 but the woman will always be
 a phenomenon to us4  ,and she is really
 a phenomenon1 an idol to put on altars 
amidst the incense of our adoration2 she
 is a woman who thinks as much as a man1
 has the learning of a professor1 writes
 books that are read1 or paints pictures
 and makes statues to which are awarded 
prizes2 an idol to be admired if beauty 
be added to this virtue and if grace    
accompany it2 a half goddess or a       
goddess if the talent does not go arm in
 arm with pride1 and if genius is       
surrounded by a fragrant and flowering  
womanliness4 ,but who finds these       
phenomena1 and who1 having found them1  
marries them8 ,then if the literary     

woman is ugly1 and impolite1 if her body
 and voice proclaim the certificate of  
her baptism1 which makes her more man   
than woman1 oh6 then we are all agreed  
in not wishing to have her for a wife4  
,it is a new species1 a psycho-physico  
hermaphrodite1 whose books1 pictures1   
and statues we admire1 but whom we have 
no desire to share a room with4    ,in  
sexual union the harmonies of relation  
ought to show themselves1 in thought as 
well as act1 in order that there may be 
happiness4 ,therefore it is that man was
 made by nature more intelligent than   
woman4 ,perfect harmony is only to be   
found with a man who thinks vigorously1 
does what he wishes with energy2 who    
rules and guides the woman in the paths 
of life and the glories of conquest4    
,the inversion of these relations means 
to be out of tune and in discord2 it is 
an humiliation on the part of the man1  
and 7let us admit it7 on the part of the
 woman also1 who in ninety-nine cases   
out of the hundred wishes to be loved1  

caressed1 and also adored1 but who likes
 to feel herself ruled4  ,woe to those  
women of intellect superior to the      
husband1 whom they must pity1 correct   
when in error1 and too often pardon for 
his folly and absurdities6  ,love is a  
chemical affinity2 and its composition  
is proportionately stronger the more    
widely different are the elements in the
 combination4 ,the ideal of perfect     
marriage is the combination of a man    
thoroughly a man1 exceedingly so1 and a 
woman thoroughly a woman1 exceedingly   
so4 ,whenever a man acquires a feminine 
tendency of character and a woman a     
virile one the chemical affinity        
diminishes in intensity1 the combination
 alters at the least touch or first     
contact of a third body which comes near
 and has a greater affinity for one or  
the other of the two elements4  ,a very 
intelligent woman and a man of less than
 mediocre intellect are combinations of 
bodies which can only have an           
exceedingly weak affinity between them4 

,the first has a mode of thought which  
is virile1 and the second has a feminine
 one4 ,and only too often the third     
element comes to correct the elective   
affinity1 and the literary woman takes a
 man of genius1 who rules her1 for a    
lover1 or a robust man1 who calms her2  
and the husband of small intellect      
comforts himself in making love to an   
illiterate peasant woman1 or a maid     
without grammar1 with whom he can show  
his intellectual pre-eminence and       
revenge himself on the superiority of   
his wife4    ,i ask pardon 7on my knees 
if necessary1 for ,i know that my sin is
 great7 for treating of a more and a    
less in the measure of thought4  ,this  
is really an infantile or ,australasian 
psychology2 but the much or the little  
are always the first approximations to  
the solution of every problem1 and the  
how much always goes before the when and
 the how4  ,i admit1 then1 that in the  
harmony of thought between the man and  
woman the amount must always be greater 

on the man's side4 ,the culture of the  
man is always progressing1 and with it  
inevitably that of the woman also1 but  
this ought always to remain a step below
 ours1 not because we do not wish to    
lose the pre-eminence of potency1 but   
because the labour of the brain is more 
difficult and perilous in the woman's   
case than in the man's1 and her energy  
naturally less4  ,look around without   
leaving ,italy and tell me how many     
normal women1 how many healthy and      
perfect women1 there are in our literary
 circle4 ,i will not continue on this   
theme lest ,i draw upon myself a shower 
of poisoned darts4 ,several are my      
venerated and admired friends1 and ,i   
wish to keep their friendship until my  
last breath4 ,but if ,i should say that 
many of them are sterile1 and many very 
nervous1 ought they to feel themselves  
offended8 ,i esteem them too much to    
believe it6 ,man is so accustomed to    
consider himself superior to the woman  
in the world of thought that if he finds

 an error in the orthography of a lady's
 letter he is as pleased as if he had   
found a diamond in the sand of a river4 
,that little error1 which was made in   
the hysterical haste of a moment of     
love's expansion1 is really a diamond1  
because it confirms and assures us of   
our intellectual superiority1 and shows 
us all at once the feminine and         
seductive grace of the being we love4   
,an error of orthography or even of     
grammar in a feminine handwriting is a  
wayward little foot1 which peeps out    
from under the skirt of the dress1 and  
hints to us the glories of the sex1 the 
inexhaustible delights of               
voluptuousness4 ,it is a coquettish     
curve which in spite of the thick       
clothing whispers in the ear palpitating
 with desire3 ,eve lies underneath1 ,eve
 who is awaiting ,adam--and desires him4
    ,harmony of thought between the     
sexes ought to spring from the agreement
 of the unlike1 and in such a way that  
no pride should be offended1 and each   

one be satisfied to make a sum instead  
of a subtraction4  ,a scientific man and
 a female artist can form a delightful  
harmony upon two notes2 a naturalist    
also and a woman who adores music2 a    
psychologist1 an inexorable analyst1 and
 a woman who sees the comic side of     
things at once2 and thus there are a    
hundred other combinations of different 
intellectual values1 which1 summed up1  
leave each one contented with his own4  
,besides special fitness1 there is a    
sexual character which impresses itself 
upon the thought of the man and woman4  
,man discovers1 finds1 creates2 woman   
divines1 distinguishes1 analyses4 ,man  
reaps1 woman gleans4 ,man with too great
 haste1 often with too great pride1     
grasps too much and lets it fall from   
its hands2 woman walks behind and       
gathers up what he has lost4  ,man has  
less tact in judging his surroundings1  
and often gives a cuff when he means a  
caress2 woman1 on the contrary1 like a  
delicate galvanometer1 feels the        

slightest electric or magnetic          
oscillation in the air which surrounds  
her1 and for this reason she is a most  
valuable instrument to a politician1 a  
writer1 or an artist who attempts new   
roads to beauty1 and must conquer the   
resistance of the majority4 ,unhappy the
 man who before printing a book1        
exhibiting a picture1 or making a speech
 in parliament has no loved woman from  
whom to draw life and warmth4 ,if a     
sailor never leaves port without        
consulting the barometer1 so man never  
ought to prepare himself for any        
undertaking without having first        
consulted that barometer of all         
barometers1 the woman who loves him4    
,how many ships have been wrecked from  
want of this precaution1 neglecting to  
take it1 through pride or inattention6  
,you may be the greatest man of genius  
and your work the fruit of long and     
profound meditation2 and yet you may    
rest assured that in the great          
polyhedron of truth some plane has      

escaped your sight which will be seen by
 the woman who loves you1 because she is
 a woman1 and sees many little things a 
man does not see2 and because she loves 
you she has a magnifying lens before the
 eyes of her heart which makes all that 
may injure or benefit you appear        
gigantic4    ,it is very rare when a    
woman has conquered our moral and       
physical sympathies that we love her    
less for some discord of thought2 but if
 we want ideal perfection we must marry 
bodies1 hearts1 and intellects4 ,in this
 case we must seek in our companion a   
discreet culture1 an exquisite taste for
 the beautiful1 a delicate spirit of    
observation1 a divination of human      
character4 ,if you find all this in one 
woman1 and if she is beautiful and good1
 you may deem yourself the most         
fortunate man in the world1 and may     
declare to the whole earth that you have
 not one but three wives1 having married
 intellect1 heart1 and thought4         
,,chapter ,,vii4  ,,the ,,financial     

,,question ,,in ,,marriage4   ,before   
breeding time birds build their nests to
 receive their future young and to      
protect them from the weather4 ,many    
men1 more improvident than the birds1   
marry without knowing where and how they
 can house the children of their love4  
,air1 earth1 and forest afford food to  
birds gratuitously2 to man only the     
butcher1 the baker1 and eating-house    
keeper give food1 and they have the     
weakness to ask payment for their       
services4 ,economic improvidence in     
marriage is the bane of all social      
decadence1 and it is precisely amongst  
workmen and the unemployed1 or amongst  
those who are always struggling and     
succumbing1 that one finds it most1 for 
they have become thoughtless fatalists1 
to whom the day is sufficient4 ,fatalism
 has many forms1 but it is always a     
cowardly emasculation of self1 or an    
even more cruel mutilation1 for it      
undermines the strength of the will and 
leads us to renounce all that is best in

 us4 ,in individuals it is emasculation 
or mutilation1 in nations it is suicide2
 the ,ottoman ,empire will soon show us 
whither ,turkish fatalism leads4  ,i am 
compassionate1 and believe that ,i pay  
my debts of charity toward those who    
have wrecked their life2 but when a     
starving fellow begs alms of me1 or     
pleads his large family or many children
 as an excuse for his moral and physical
 demoralisation1 anger gets the better  
of me and ,i exclaim3 ,why1 then1 did   
you have so many8  ,and this exclamation
 is not an insult to misery nor a curse2
 it is the voice of reason1 which if it 
could be heard in the homes of the poor 
would suffice to solve the social       
problem4 ,i am a ,malthusian impenitent1
 and as long as ,i live ,i shall always 
say to those struggling with poverty3   
,love1 but do not beget children4  ,in  
vain priests and rugged moralists of    
,providence combat ,malthusianism1 which
 has now become a social institution1   
and without the need of written codes   

governs the economy of the family in    
,france1 ,italy1 ,germany1 and even in  
chaste and fecund ,albion4  ,in vain my 
,elementi d',igiene were put ad indice1 
for from year to year the ,malthusian   
apostolate has made new disciples1 and  
will continue to do so4  ,neither do ,i 
side with those who believe1 with too   
great a faith or fanaticism1 that a     
restriction in the number of births is  
sufficient to resolve the social        
problem4 ,no1 certainly not2 it is not  
enough2 but it clears the ground of the 
most thorny brambles among which human  
felicity gets entangled2 and a          
comparison between the proletariat in   
the populous cities of ,europe and that 
of the desert regions of ,south ,america
 is sufficient to convince us that      
prolific improvidence is also the       
prolific mother of hunger1 disease1 and 
death4  ,if1 then1 you are not a        
,malthusian1 nor desire to be converted 
to the new doctrine1 if you have no     
straw to build your nest1 do not take a 

wife1 but increase the glorious number  
of the animals of rapine and cuckoos4   
,i know very well that the most hateful 
and disagreeable problem of matrimony is
 the economic1 but we cannot avoid nor  
solve it by shutting our eyes and       
disregarding it4  ,to love and be loved1
 to feel that our life is doubled and   
the horizons of the future enlarged1 to 
drink from the eyes of a woman who is a 
perfect fountain of delight1 to feel the
 doors of paradise opened to us by her  
lips2 and then all at once to be obliged
 to speak of income and dowry amidst    
such intoxicating pleasures2 then to    
remember between one kiss and another   
that to harbour all this paradise we do 
not possess1 ,i cannot say a house1 but 
not even the most modest of rooms6 ,it  
is hard1 cruel1 abominable1 but it is   
necessary6  ,the quart d'heure de       
,rabelais in the affairs of love1 and   
the exclamation of the ,trappists who at
 table say to their brethren3 ,remember 
we must all die1 are the waiters who1   

entering the guest chamber1 present the 
bill to the gay and thoughtless         
merry-makers4 ,but in matrimony the     
accounts must be made out before1 and   
drawn up seriously1 calmly1 and         
inexorably4  ,there is only one man in  
whose case ,i could overlook a want of  
this prudence1 and it is he who feels   
that he has the strength to fight for   
and the energy to gain a position1 and  
to the man who strikes his forehead and 
exclaims1 ,numen adest4 ,what does it   
matter if such a man has no fortune1 nor
 even a dowry with her whom he loves8   
,he has faith in himself founded not    
upon pride1 but upon the consciousness  
of knowledge and power2 and this is more
 than a patrimony1 for neither          
phylloxera1 bank failures1 nor shipwreck
 can assail it4 ,it will last as long as
 life itself1 and its results still     
longer4  ,but how many such men are     
there8 ,with the experience of more than
 half a century ,i recommend all others 
to use such foresight as is near akin to

 fear4 ,the whole history of ,italian   
finance1 and the whole chronology of our
 innumerable ministers of finance1 teach
 us that the balance of expenditure is  
always greater than that of the income4 
,just fancy when these are added up by  
that maddest of treasury ministers whose
 name is ,love6  ,the following words   
must have been repeated more than a     
thousand times between a kiss and a     
sigh1 ,a cottage and your heart6  ,but  
common sense has succeeded in throwing  
so much cold water on the phrase as to  
render it ridiculous1 and to relegate it
 to the museum of comic virtues4        
,however1 notwithstanding the many years
 ,i have lived1 ,i still have the       
ingenuous good nature to believe this   
phrase when it comes warmly and         
spontaneously from two loving hearts1   
and when those two hearts live in two   
organisms superior in intelligence and  
sentiment it may yet be true2 the       
cottage may soon become a house1 perhaps
 even a palace4  ,but how many such are 

there8  ,the rest no longer say1 ,a     
cottage and your heart2 but1 ,a palace  
even without your heart4 ,a hundred     
thousand francs income1 with or without 
the heart4  ,in the first pages of this 
book we have seen how and why the       
economic consideration dominates        
marriage in civilised society with all  
the rigour of a tyrant1 how it commands 
everything1 and is the 8to be or not to 
be0 of a family4    ,as regards the     
balance of fortune1 the ideal in        
marriage would be that both husband and 
wife should be equally rich1 or both    
have moderate means4 ,it is not         
necessary that there should be absolute 
equality1 but it ought to approach it4  
,in these fortunate cases the equality  
of the income increases the dignity of  
the family to a fellowship1 and is      
necessarily accompanied by many other   
harmonies of habits1 tastes1 and needs4 
,an hyper-ideal of perfection would be  
this1 that although the amount of these 
incomes may be the same1 the separate   

units should be of a different nature4  
,thus if the husband be a rich land     
owner the wife should hold house        
property2 and if she has a large share  
of money in the funds the other should  
own lands or houses4 ,in this way even  
the most unexpected political or        
meteoric disturbances would never strand
 the family4 ,in many cases a good      
profession in the hands of the husband  
is equivalent to a rich dowry in the    
wife2 but even here one must remember   
that life is uncertain1 death certain4  
,and1 in truth1 where the income        
proceeds entirely from the work of the  
father of the family this very fact is  
often a cause of ruin to the family     
well-being4 ,they have no land1 houses1 
nor money in the funds2 a lucrative     
employment gives them riches1 and       
parents and children live upon them     
without putting a penny aside4 ,then a  
railway accident or some illness        
unexpectedly kills the father1 and from 
a gay1 rich life they are reduced to the

 most squalid misery4  ,empleomania is a
 ,spanish word1 and it sprung up in     
,spain as if in its native soil1 but if 
we have not registered it in our        
classical dictionaries we have the      
equivalent in the speech of the common  
people4 ,and above all we unfortunately 
have the thing it represents2 and it is 
one of the most exact measures of our   
inertia of intellect and will4 ,in the  
middle class1 and especially in its     
lower ranks1 the daily dream of the good
 mother of a family is to give her      
daughter to a government official1 and  
it is the dream of a thousand small men1
 young1 short-sighted fellows of slight 
phrenic development1 to have some       
official situation1 no matter what1 so  
that in the morning they are not obliged
 to think how they can pass the day or  
to make any itinerary1 but just go to   
the office at fixed hours1 and at fixed 
hours return home4 ,to do what others   
desire them to do1 without the trouble  
of thinking themselves1 and to muse on  

the sweets of the ,sunday rest for six  
days in advance2 for eleven months to   
feel the delights of the twelfth1 that  
of the vacation1 and to be able to think
 that every month of the year has a     
certain day which bears the number #bg3 
a blessed day on which1 whether it rains
 or pours1 whether ,liberals or         
,conservatives are in power1 whether    
,crispi or ,rudini is ruling1 the       
paymaster is ready and they receive     
their salary--ah6 these are serene and  
tranquil pleasures which make mothers   
weep for joy1 wives leap for pleasure1  
and the hearts dance in nine-tenths of  
those ,italian bipeds who love the peace
 and security of the morrow 444 and the 
#bgth of the month4    ,if there be an  
inequality in the riches of two married 
people it is a hundred times better that
 it should be in favour of the husband4 
,a woman is never humiliated when she is
 poor and marries a rich man1 or when1  
with moderate means1 she marries a      
millionaire4 ,however much she may be   

oppressed by social laws1 however often 
she be placed below man in position1 she
 brings him so many treasures with her  
beauty1 youth1 grace1 and all the prizes
 of her womanhood that they weigh in    
equal value to gold1 millions1 and coats
 of arms rich with a hundred            
emblazonings4  ,there is perhaps another
 less noble1 but more human1 reason1    
which explains the inequality of our    
judgment on the subject of matrimony    
between persons with different amounts  
of income4  ,it is precisely because the
 woman is set a peg below us by law and 
custom that she can accept riches from  
us without any feeling of shame2        
besides1 it is very difficult1 if not   
often impossible1 for her to gain       
sufficient by hand or brain work to     
maintain the family4 ,everything1 then1 
conspires to enable her to give her hand
 to a rich man without selling or       
prostituting herself4  ,when instead of 
this it is the man who accepts the      
riches from the woman1 without balancing

 them by great genius or by a very high 
social position1 he always renounces    
that manly dignity which ought to be his
 nobility2 he stands degraded before his
 wife1 lowered1 and at the least        
collision with vanity or passion he may 
be struck full in the face by an insult 
which ought to sink into his very heart4
  ,i know several cases in which a very 
rich woman fell desperately in love with
 a handsome1 cultivated1 but poor young 
man1 and he to save his own dignity fled
 from her love4 ,and the lady followed  
and conquered him1 trusting courageously
 to the proverb1 ,ce que femme veut1    
,dieu le veut6  ,they were married1 and 
he loved her1 working constantly with   
his pen1 brush1 or chisel1 having sworn 
to himself and to her that he would only
 live by his work4 ,noble and touching  
struggles for personal dignity1 of love 
and pride1 which one but seldom sees1   
but which console our sight1 daily      
saddened by so many simonies of         
luxuries1 so many pretences of heroism1 

so many individual1 social1 and         
political lies1 which darken the air so 
heavily that it is difficult for the sun
 to penetrate the cloud4  ,whoever makes
 a business of marriage will laugh      
cordially at me1 and at my sentimental  
fantasies4  ,let him laugh6 ,i do not   
pretend to teach him how to make        
marriage a paradise on earth4 ,he will  
continue to seek a golden dowry1 and if 
he has a great coat of arms and an empty
 purse he will put the first up at      
auction in order to fill the second2 and
 if the game should succeed he will     
carry his wife's money to the gaming    
table1 the turf1 or to the cabinet of   
the cocotte1 and feel himself happy to  
have gained in one day that which others
 cannot obtain with all the hard work of
 a laborious and pure life4  ,lying on a
 ,turkish divan1 smoking a perfumed     
,havana1 he will raise to himself a     
monument of admiration and              
acknowledgment amidst the blue fumes of 
his cigar4  ,and is he happy8 ,happy1   

perhaps1 but never enviable2 for ,i know
 no true and durable happiness which    
degrades dignity1 which hides itself in 
the depths of the soul1 which can       
silence itself with the gag of sophism  
and the accommodation of conscience1 but
 that1 like a steel spring1 it will     
burst and spring from its bonds the more
 unexpectedly the greater the           
repression4 ,a man who in the inexorable
 soliloquies of his own conscience has  
something on which he dare not think1 or
 has a room in his house which he can   
never visit without a shudder or        
remorse1 is never happy4  ,and even if  
the long training in cynicism succeeds  
in silencing the cry of repressed       
dignity1 there will come a day of       
domestic discord1 of duels fought       
between husband and wife1 with the      
weapon of bitter smiles1 cruel          
compliments1 and insinuations full of   
perfidy and venom1 a day when the wife1 
striking her fan on the arm-chair with  
little convulsive blows1 will cry3 ,but 

in short1 my good fellow1 ,i keep       
you4444 ,if that man1 in such a moment  
does not redden to the roots of his     
hair1 if at that moment his saliva is   
not changed to gall1 nor forms a lump in
 his throat1 if he does not feel his    
very heart and source of life poisoned1 
that man is not a man1 but an unclean   
animal who has sold his manhood for a   
handful of gold2 he is a most abject    
being1 a hundred times more despicable  
than the poor prostitute who sells her  
body to gain her daily bread4           
,,chapter ,,viii4  ,,the ,,incidents    
,,and ,,accidents ,,of ,,marriage4      
,but even if you have chosen the best of
 women for your companion1 whether it be
 due to your merit or your good fortune1
 the great problem of happiness is not  
yet solved1 for there are so many       
incidents and accidents which disturb it
 when least we expect them4  ,your wife 
is never a meteorite fallen from the    
sky1 but a fruit still attached to the  
branch1 and this branch is taken from a 

trunk1 which is the family to which she 
belongs4 ,when you marry her you must   
inevitably marry her relations also2 you
 must enter a clan which may be a garden
 of roses1 but may be also a wasp's     
nest--nay1 even a nest of vipers4  ,do  
not allow yourself any illusions1       
believing that when once you are        
legitimate master of your companion you 
will be able to isolate yourself in the 
nest of your domestic felicity1 chasing 
away wasps and crushing the vipers1 if  
there should be any4 ,i will suppose    
that the woman loves you much1 and      
adores you above all creatures in the   
world1 but the clan from which she has  
been taken will complain of you1 protest
 and conspire against you4 ,her parents 
have ceded the government of one of     
their provinces to you1 but still hold  
the protectorate and place a resident   
near1 and they reserve the right of     
intervention in many1 unfortunately in  
too many1 cases4  ,the idea of a wife1  
then1 would be that she should be an    

orphan with only the most distant       
relations or guardians1 who are happy to
 have her well married4 ,but here again 
there are new complications4 ,to be an  
orphan at an early age means1 since the 
parents died young1 to belong to an     
unhealthy stock4 ,the decadence of many 
,english families is due to this very   
fact4 ,the younger sons of the nobility1
 who bear a noble name1 but have an     
empty purse1 seek to equalize blazonry  
and finance by marrying orphans1 or only
 daughters1 and thus they bring into the
 new family the risk of an infirm state 
of health and sterility4  ,it is only   
too true that all the gravest problems  
of life are so framed that when you have
 succeeded with patience and labour in  
untying one knot1 others form under your
 fingers4  ,the wife1 however1 might be 
an orphan from other causes1 independent
 of the health of the parents1 and that 
would be the highest ideal--for example1
 a girl who had escaped from a fire1 or 
a railway accident1 in which both       

parents 7alike robust7 were killed4 ,i  
am supposing things incredible1 or at   
least improbable2 ,i make cruel         
conjectures1 but what can ,i do8 ,a     
scolding1 wicked1 or jealous            
mother-in-law is worse than a fire and  
railway disaster together4  ,those good1
 courteous1 intelligent mothers-in-law  
need not alarm themselves--those who    
become a second mother to their         
sons-in-law1 who double the delights of 
the dual life1 who bring you the        
valuable blessing of experience and     
disinterested affection1 and who act in 
the domestic storm as conciliatory      
judges4 ,hosanna and everlasting glory  
to such beings1 sent by ,providence to  
double your happiness4  ,for ,i only    
speak of others who1 without being bad1 
are women1 or rather men1 with all the  
congenital defects of the race of ,adam4
  ,the best of mothers-in-law always    
sees in you an intruder1 a rival1 a man 
who has robbed her of her daughter1 and 
since she is good she will not worry    

you2 but she will make scenes of        
jealousy2 she will not plot against you 
with your wife1 but will swallow so much
 bitterness day by day in the secret    
silence of her house as to enlarge her  
liver1 so that some day or other her    
moral jaundice will be scattered through
 the atmosphere of your home1 and you   
too will feel the bitterness4  ,i       
understand and am indulgent4 ,that      
bitterness is distilled from the deepest
 and most delicate regions of the heart4
 ,to have loved a daughter for twenty or
 thirty years1 to have brought her into 
the world with pain1 to have suckled her
 with spasms1 to have educated her with 
a wise love1 after having breathed the  
same air1 eaten at the same table1      
shared bread and tears2 and then for the
 first comer1 just because he wears     
trousers and has an impudent moustache1 
to rob her of all that treasure with an 
arrogance as if he claimed and took his 
own--that is hard4 ,and as if that were 
not enough1 the daughter1 the angel of  

her domestic temple1 runs after the     
trousers and moustaches1 and goes away1 
abandoning her mother's and her own     
house1 as if she were leaving a room at 
an hotel in which she had passed the    
night4  ,let us be just6 ,who will dare 
to throw the first stone at that poor   
woman1 the pitiable mother8 ,who would  
dare ill treat her if she asked as a    
charity the favour that her daughter's  
new home should be near hers1 if she    
implored you to allow her to visit her  
often8 ,man is egotistic and feels      
paternity less than woman1 but even if  
only in a slight degree he ought to     
understand the hidden hell of a         
mother-in-law who has to watch her      
daughter leave her own nest4  ,the      
marriage of a loved daughter is an event
 expected and desired1 but it is like a 
birth1 a blessing accompanied by        
tremendous pain4 ,elect natures feel the
 pain1 but do not show it1 lest they    
should give pain to others1 and never   
convert it into hate4  ,others1 on the  

contrary1 transform every drop of       
bitterness which they swallow into a    
feeling of vengeance1 which they        
ruminate on for some time and hatch with
 cruel patience1 to launch it against   
you when least you expect it4  ,i may   
suppose you to be patient and good1 to  
be an optimist in your philosophy2 you  
will be deaf to the most mellifluous    
insinuations1 you will say ,thank you   
when your foot is trodden on1 and ,thank
 you for the rhubarb lozenge which will 
be offered you--in short1 you will take 
the points from all the darts launched  
against you2 but there will come a day  
in which patience1 goodness1 philosophy1
 will be scattered to the wind1 and you1
 with so much repressed wrath1 will     
burst out all at once1 and placing      
yourself before your wife1 will say3    
8,there must be an end to all this2 it  
must be either ,i or her60  ,the        
proverbs of all ,european languages1 the
 satires of the poets1 the wit of       
dramatists1 have always agreed in       

compassionating the sons-in-law1 and    
hurling darts against the               
mothers-in-law4 ,this experience of many
 centuries has taught us that a good    
mother-in-law is very rare1 and that in 
marriage she is an element most pregnant
 with danger1 most fruitful in disaster4
  ,from all this we ought to learn two  
things3  #ast4 ,before taking a wife to 
study the character of the future       
mother-in-law well1 and to try and      
discover whether we shall find in her an
 angel or a harpy1 an ally or an enemy4 
#b;d4 ,according to the result of our   
psychological inquiry we ought to       
declare most decidedly that we will not 
live with the family of the wife1 nor   
take her mother into our house4 ,if the 
chosen one of our heart really loves us 
she will consider this decision of ours 
quite just1 and will help us to gain the
 victory if a battle there must be4  ,in
 your own case do not pass it over1 do  
not cede a hand's breadth of land2 keep 
firm in your intention1 being quite     

convinced that by so doing you will make
 your own happiness1 that of your wife1 
and of the new family4 ,between         
mother-in-law and son-in-law there ought
 to be affection and respect2 a current 
of benevolent1 delicate1 and gentle     
sentiment ought to pass between them1   
but at a distance1 a most respectful    
distance2 so that no sparks1 shocks1    
much less lightning flashes1 may appear4
 ,affection1 not intimacy2 respect1 not 
subjection4    ,but the complications do
 not finish with the problem of the     
mother-in-law4 ,there is the other      
problem which arises when the candidate 
for marriage has lost his first wife1 or
 the woman her first husband1 or both of
 them their first partners1 with or     
without children on one side or on both 
sides4  ,the possible combinations are  
these3                       without    
children4   ,widow and widower          
of the man4                      with   
children  of the woman4                 
of both4    ,widower            without 

children4                      with     
children4    ,widow              without
 children4                      with    
children4  ,these various combinations  
are so many algebraical formul in which 
one may find snares1 dangers to         
happiness1 and rancour without end4  ,if
 you are a widower and you marry a      
widow1 and neither of you have children1
 no danger hangs over you4 ,liberty on  
both sides1 no right nor pretext for    
intervention2 marriage presents itself  
almost in the guise of an union between 
two young people4  ,you may indeed incur
 the danger of your wife making         
comparisons1 and these not to your      
advantage4 ,an old proverb says1        
,comparisons are odious1 but ,i should  
like to make a correction and add that  
for him to whom they are unfavourable   
they are odious1 but flattering to him  
who gains by them4 ,perhaps you may     
excel your predecessor1 and your        
companion will be happy to find it so4  
,in any case1 if you have your weak side

 inquire about the public and private   
virtues of the first husband1 and put   
the results into the balance which must 
weigh the pros and cons of the marriage4
  ,a widow and a widower may both have  
children1 or one only may have them4    
,the dangers in these cases are very    
different4  ,it is better for the wife  
to have them1 for if the husband really 
loves her he will also love her         
children2 and besides1 being a man1 he  
is less at home1 and paternity is always
 an episode in his life and not the     
whole life1 as maternity is with the    
woman4 ,then if the man has the good    
fortune not to have children he will    
often end by loving his wife's as much  
as though they were his own4  ,in the   
case of there being children on both    
sides the balance may prove of          
advantage1 because it is equal in weight
 and measure1 and the two married people
 have cause to reproach themselves and  
to suffer for the same things4  ,the    
worst case is that of a widower with    

children to whose number the new wife   
adds2 he must be an angel1 his wife and 
children angels also1 if no civil war   
breaks out in his house4 ,think of it   
well1 think a hundred times4 ,do not    
complicate the marriage1 already fraught
 with so many dangers1 by imprudence and
 temerity4  ,in marriages between a     
widow and a widower the greatest danger 
arises from the children1 who fear or   
see their future threatened1 and who in 
their love for their lost parent believe
 the new marriage to be an outrage to   
the memory of the dear one4  ,it is in  
these cases that we see all that a man  
has of venom and baseness come up and   
soil and cover everything with          
defilement and poison2 all the brutal   
possibilities of human egotism covered1 
it may be1 with varnish but still the   
skeleton underlying every thought and   
feeling4    ,only one of the engaged    
persons may be widow or widower1 and it 
is greatly to the honour of women that  
more men marry a second time than women4

 ,man often finds more happiness in     
marriage than she does1 while she is    
more faithful to the memory of the      
departed1 and thinks more of her        
children than herself4  ,how many women 
,i have known who1 being left widows    
quite young1 have sacrificed themselves1
 together with the need of loving and   
being loved1 to their children1 often to
 one alone2 proud of their sacrifice1   
unconquerable against all temptations   
and against all the power of the most   
legitimate passions4  ,do children know 
how to value this heroism hidden in the 
bosom of so many families8 ,do they     
understand that there is more courage   
required in this struggle of months and 
years than one day's assault of a       
battery in battle8  ,very rarely do they
 know it1 for even the best of children 
do not return a hundredth part of the   
love they have received from their      
parents1 and especially from their      
mother4    ,is happiness more easily to 
be found in the union of a widower and a

 young woman1 or in that of a widow and 
a celibate8  ,the answer is difficult1  
for the problem is too vague1 and       
individual qualities weigh too heavily  
in the balance1 gradually modifying the 
surroundings1 the affections now warding
 off dangers1 now increasing them       
infinitely4  ,if other conditions be    
favourable the widow is generally an    
excellent wife for many reasons3 ,she   
has lost many illusions1 but has learned
 to know and excuse the egotism of man4 
,sometimes she will have been obliged to
 beg her first husband's pardon for some
 accession of jealousy or caprice2 and  
as a woman always occupies herself in   
everything more with other people's     
happiness than her own1 she wishes to   
give her second husband perfect bliss1  
and often and willingly succeeds4 ,if   
she cannot offer her companion the      
virginal flower 7which after all is more
 a myth than a real jewel7 she can give 
him all the treasures of amorous        
experience1 that is often worth more    

than a hundred virginities4  ,on the    
other hand the widower who marries a    
young woman has the great advantage of  
her not being able to make any odious   
comparisons1 and he also brings precious
 gems to the new home which an unmarried
 man does not know or possess4 ,he has  
learned to know all the little          
weaknesses and great virtues of woman1  
he has learned to become less           
egotistical1 to think of others more    
than himself1 and as separate from      
himself1 and he generally is an         
excellent husband4    ,in all intricate 
problems1 in all the fatal confusions   
which present themselves in the marriage
 between widows and widowers1 between   
widows1 widowers1 and celibates1 the    
anchor of safety which saves from       
shipwreck is always the heart4 ,when    
there is great love1 and it is shared by
 two1 who join hands forever1 every     
difficulty is cleared away1 and concord 
ends by hoisting its banner over the new
 house4 ,the most ferocious hatred is   

conquered by generosity1 by the         
indulgence of one who loves much1 and   
after a short battle of the opposing    
forces love scatters its flowers and    
blessing over the new nest4 ,love is the
 strength of strengths1 which surpasses 
all others1 and in this case it is      
omnipotent1 so that when it exists in   
all its proper energy on one side only1 
it absorbs all the minor energies1 and  
on the fields threatened with hail and  
lightning the sun shines through the    
last drops of the beneficent rain1 and  
the rainbow hangs its multicoloured     
bridge in the sky1 drawing enemies      
nearer and making them allies4    ,of   
all the accidents which we may meet on  
the threshold of matrimony one of the   
most common is the stoppage of the way  
by someone who exclaims3 8,halt6 there  
is no passage here40  ,you are a minor1 
or your loved one is1 or the person who 
has the right to speak does not find    
your choice to his taste1 and shuts the 
door of the temple you wish to enter in 

your face1 securing it with many chains4
 ,civil war is declared1 and it is to be
 seen who can and ought to gain the     
victory4  ,this can and ought are not   
synonymous terms1 because the parents on
 one side or the other can withhold     
their consent to your union1 but many   
times they are in the wrong1 and ought  
not to refuse to sanction the marriage4 
,as regards two lovers1 if their love is
 sincere1 if in their secret and        
confidential dialogues they have sworn  
the everlasting yes to each other1 if   
they have nearly conjugated half of the 
verb to love1 they believe that they    
have every right in the world to become 
husband and wife2 and when they have    
tried all fair means to bend the will of
 the tyrant or tyrants they run away    
together1 secretly1 hoping that once the
 deed is done it will sooner or later   
receive the consent of those opposing   
it4 ,sometimes1 however1 the wandering  
sheep are discovered before the deed is 
consummated1 and are re-conducted with  

many reproaches to their respective     
folds4 ,in more serious cases spectres  
of single or double suicide1            
asphyxiation1 poison1 or the revolver   
may appear4  ,should anyone find himself
 in such case meditating death1 and have
 time to cast a look on these pages1 let
 him leave the charcoal1 the poison of  
the druggist1 and the revolver of the   
armourer4 ,life is a good and beautiful 
thing that must be guarded with love1   
caressed with tenderness1 and if love   
ought to be the bridegroom of the       
marriage1 reason and good sense ought   
always to be present as witnesses4  ,if 
with a stroke of a magic wand one could 
raise all those who have committed      
self-destruction to life again1 after   
having dressed their wounds1 they would 
take up life gaily1 and even another    
love affair4  ,parents always have the  
duty and the right of speaking1         
protesting1 and counselling1 nay1 even  
of interposing a veto1 if they see their
 children's future endangered when they 

have chosen love as arbitrator1 but have
 forgotten to call good sense and reason
 as witnesses4  ,if you will marry an   
abject creature who will dishonour your 
name and the name of the family to which
 you belong1 and of whom after a few    
months of warm passion you yourself will
 be ashamed2 if you will marry a woman  
suffering from tuberculous disease1 or  
one of a consumptive family1 or where   
madness is present2 if you will increase
 the sad patrimony of proletaries and   
the unemployed1 having neither present  
nor future resources2 if in one way or  
another you throw yourself with closed  
eyes head foremost into a bottomless    
abyss only to satisfy carnal excitement 
which you may call passion1 but which is
 only the desire of the flesh--father   
and mother have full right to oppose    
your ruin with all possible means2 and  
even if they should not succeed they    
will have done their duty4 ,if the means
 they take succeed you will later on    
thank them with a warm gratitude4  ,in  

all these cases ,i allow you to combat1 
to weep1 even tear out some of your     
hair2 but the tears over1 the muscles   
tired1 gather up the hair you have torn 
out and present it to your fair one1    
telling her to keep it until your return
 as a pledge of your eternal faith2 for 
you ought to leave1 and that instantly1 
even on foot1 even asking money of the  
tyrannical parents or of some           
compassionate friend4 ,travel in far    
countries1 and who knows if on your     
return you will not find a neat little  
packet tied with rose-coloured          
ribbon--your letters1 your hair1 and    
perhaps the announcement of the marriage
 of your old fiance4  ,if your love1    
instead1 has known how to resist the    
long absence1 if it has strengthened and
 grown1 who knows if the hard parents   
will not be moved to pity and try to    
make an adjustment1 provided1 however1  
that there be no consumption1 madness1  
or other calamities to dissuade you from
 marriage in an absolute and decided    

way4 ,better that you should die than   
sow death broadcast in future           
generations4    ,there are some cases1  
however1 in which the wrong is not      
yours1 but is theirs who unreasonably   
and tyrannically oppose your happiness  
from prejudices of rank1 avidity of     
money1 or some caprice or other4 ,if you
 are a count or marquis and love a girl 
of good family without a coat of arms1  
or if you are very rich and wish to     
marry an educated girl of angelic       
character1 but who is not rich--in these
 and similar cases seek the help of your
 mother1 who is nearly always more      
compassionate than your father1 or ask  
counsel and help from some intimate     
friend1 from one of the few who knows   
your heart like a book1 and has never   
flattered you4  ,in these domestic      
contests it is very rare for right and  
reason to be on one side only2 there is 
a little on this side and a little on   
that2 your hands are too unsteady to    
hold the balance of justice steadily1   

and weigh with precision the pro and the
 con4 ,your mother1 instead1 who loves  
you as no one else can 7not even your   
lover71 and your friend who knows you   
well1 see things from a dispassionate   
and calm point of view1 and will judge  
justly whether you are right or wrong2  
and if you are neither mad nor a fool   
you will end by believing those who love
 you and desire your good2 and1 as the  
case may be1 stand firm and you will    
win4 ,the ancient ,greek appealed       
against ,philip1 the modern miller      
appeals against ,berlin1 and both were  
right against ,philip and against       
,frederick the ,great4 ,your mother and 
friend will appeal to you not to fast   
entirely from love1 but to be a little  
less hungry1 and who knows but that they
 will end in being right against that   
king of kings ,love--stronger than the  
father of ,alexander the ,great1 greater
 than ,frederick the ,great4  ,if they  
really love you1 and are persons of good
 sense1 they will say neither ,no6 nor  

,never6 to you1 but will content        
themselves by saying1 ,have a little    
patience2 wait4  ,time is the chief and 
capable corrector of the proof sheets of
 the sketches of love1 as also the      
policy of ,fabius the temporizer1 who   
knew how to gain so many wars by        
skirmishes and battles4  ,the stone of  
comparison enables us to distinguish    
gold from ignoble metal2 time teaches us
 to separate with certainty true love   
from the desire of the flesh1 from the  
fussy exactions of self-love and all    
that is plated4 ,and perhaps1 besides   
your mother and friend1 you will listen 
to the long experience of him who       
writes1 and will hear his voice1 which  
says to you1 cries to you1 supplicates  
you3  ,let time take its course1 ever   
and always4     ,,chapter ,,ix4  ,,hell4
   ,i am sitting in a restaurant in the 
town of --------1 at the seaside4 ,it is
 the height of the bathing season1 the  
carnival of salt and fresh water1 and   
the whole world is forgetting the labour

 and unpleasantnesses of city life for a
 few weeks4  ,i am waiting for my       
breakfast1 seated at a table just       
outside the house1 under an arbour of   
vines and convolvulus4 ,the sea breeze  
reaches me1 plays with my tablecloth and
 sports with my hair1 uniting itself to 
the perfume of flowers which peep up1   
red1 white1 and violet1 happy also in   
the midst of all the sunshine1 greenery1
 and freshness4  ,nearly all the tables1
 scattered about under the arbours or in
 the shade of the trees1 are surrounded 
by happy people who have just taken     
their baths1 fresh1 with disordered     
hair1 hungry and merry4 ,even human life
 has its good quarters of an hour4      
,near me ,i see a teacher to whom two   
girls of about ten and twelve have been 
intrusted1 and who1 faithful to her     
trust1 is giving them a noisy lesson in 
morality and gallantry1 whilst she eats 
and drinks as if she were starving4 ,i  
cannot imagine how she does it1 but she 
manages not to interrupt her educational

 discourse1 whilst she never ceases to  
eat and drink4 ,the pupils do not listen
 to her1 but look at each other1 slyly  
laughing at the inexhaustible           
conversation of their instructress4 ,a  
little further off there are three young
 fellows who1 having passed their       
examinations well1 have been rewarded by
 a visit to the seaside4 ,they are      
laughing1 noisy1 and giddy with youth1  
thoughtless1 envying no living soul4    
,one of them has just finished his      
breakfast1 and in order to pay his bill 
of one franc fifty centimes he brings   
out a red banknote of a hundred francs1 
and offers it to the waiter with great  
pride1 and in such a way that everyone  
can see it4 ,it is the first he has ever
 had1 and already that morning he has   
offered it at the coffeehouse to pay    
fifteen centimes1 and at the baths to   
pay for his ticket of fifty centimes4   
,no one would change it1 and even the   
waiter says he has no change2 and the   
young fellow is happy1 for he will be   

able to display it a fourth1 a fifth1   
and even a sixth time4  ,facing me a    
whole family of some seven or eight     
persons are eating merrily1 and the     
children1 in a chromatic scale of bright
 colours and different heights1 range   
from two to fifteen years4 ,each one is 
giving utterance to its joy1 clambering 
up and down the chairs1 playing with a  
little dog to which they give the       
tid-bits on their plates4 ,the father is
 red1 stout1 and in his shirt sleeves2  
he looks smilingly at his blond         
companion1 reading in her smile the     
reflection of all that lisping chatter1 
laughter1 and folly which surround them4
  ,all these people1 differing in age1  
condition1 and intellect1 unite in the  
same merriment1 which they seem to have 
drawn from the sea1 the father of       
planetary life1 the dispenser of spirit 
and energy2 and all the while the golden
 rays of the sun shine through the vine 
leaves1 the ivy1 and convolvulus1       
painting with the shade and penumbra of 

the leaves the tablecloth1 the dresses  
of the women1 and the rosy faces of the 
children1 throwing patches1 half shades1
 and glistening spots on the garden     
sand4  ,i1 too1 a solitary observer1    
enjoyed all the bright sunshine and the 
happiness of the people1 but forgot that
 ,i had only looked to the right and    
straight before me2 ,i turned calmly to 
the left1 sure of finding there another 
scene of joy and brightness4  ,on the   
contrary1 the picture was very          
different4  ,at a table just as clean   
and white as the others1 played on      
capriciously by light and shade1 two    
persons were sitting1 a man and a woman4
  ,he was about thirty1 she forty-five4 
,he was handsome1 robust1 with manly    
energy2 she lame1 fat1 and hunch-backed4
 ,there ought to have been a neck1 but  
there was none to be seen1 for the heavy
 head appeared to have been put on the  
chest awry2 and all the cruel artifices 
resorted to for hiding the hump behind  
seemed made on purpose to produce       

another in front4 ,even her features    
were ugly1 and the ill-made hands were  
laden with rings4 ,large earrings were  
in her ears1 and a colossal locket      
surrounded by diamonds1 inclosing the   
man's portrait1 was hanging in front4   
,husband and wife1 no doubt4  ,she was  
eating1 but could not have known the    
flavour of the food1 for the mouthful   
went round and round between her teeth1 
whilst another piece on the fork was    
waiting in vain for its turn to enter   
the mouth4 ,that poor deformed being did
 not cry1 that is1 no tears fell on her 
cheeks1 but she blew her nose every now 
and then1 and the eyes were moist and   
sad4 ,she placed the fork automatically 
from time to time on the plate1 with the
 mouthful still on it1 and gazed at the 
man lovingly1 tenderly1 waiting1        
imploring for a look4  ,but the look    
never came4 ,with one hand he hastily   
conveyed the food to his mouth1 and with
 the other held a newspaper1 which he   
was reading with pretended interest1 so 

as not to have the silence interrupted4 
,he did not shed tears nor blow his     
nose1 but he frowned1 and he was also   
suffering one of those intense and      
hidden agonies to which one does not    
confess1 but which furrow the soul like 
harrows of steel4  ,i did not remove my 
eyes again from that dumb and agonizing 
scene4  ,after a long interval she said 
to him1 timidly1 hesitatingly1 almost as
 if committing a crime3  8,will you take
 anything else80  ,he started as if the 
voice had struck him like a blow in the 
face2 he turned to her and twisted his  
mouth like one seized with a sudden and 
irresistible disgust4  8,no1 ,i want    
nothing more40  ,the ,no was pronounced 
angrily and with scorn2 it was1 and must
 have been1 a blow to her to whom it was
 addressed4 ,he looked at her a long    
time1 a look full of hatred1 remorse1   
and disgust4 ,it seemed as if he were   
passing in review all his companion's   
ugliness1 and as if until that moment he
 had never seen it so clearly3 those    

wrinkles1 that gray hair1 that hump1 the
 deformed neck1 those arms which looked 
like hams in sacks1 and then those rings
 and jewels which seemed to jeer at the 
white1 flabby flesh with their          
brightness4 ,the deformity1 the         
grotesque violation of good taste1      
suddenly struck that handsome and robust
 man1 for he had sold youth and manhood 
to an unfortunate woman who had believed
 it possible to still love and be loved4
  ,the two had plunged into the waves of
 the sea a little before2 they had drunk
 of the sun's rays too1 but neither sea 
nor sun had been able to give happiness 
to these unfortunate creatures who had  
bartered carnal pleasures for gold1 who 
had changed sacred love to a vile       
prostitution of flesh and banknotes4    
,she had already passed the meridian of 
her second youth2 he was still young4   
,she was undressing4 ,he was already in 
bed1 and followed the progressive       
unclothing of that body with an anxious 
curiosity1 that body once so active1 so 

handsome and fascinating1 now all       
submerged in the high waters of an      
invading corpulence4  ,he wished to hide
 his head under the counterpane1 and did
 so1 but a morbid curiosity made him put
 out his head again directly1 and he    
looked4  ,she had read in her glass only
 too well the ruin of her form1 and had 
always sought to undress alone2 but this
 time she was obliged to do it before   
his eyes4 ,she ingeniously hid the      
regions which had most suffered wreck1  
and with a remnant of coquetry kept     
uncovered her shoulders1 the ultimum    
moriens in the woman's body2 but        
diffident of herself1 and fearful of    
those looks which seemed to pierce her  
through1 her last garment fell from her 
hands to her feet1 and the disasters of 
the wreck suddenly appeared1 standing   
out cruelly1 without pity for her or for
 him4  ,she uttered a cry and stooped   
down to cover herself4444  ,he1         
egotistical1 pitiless1 forgot all the   
delights that this body once so fragrant

 of youth and beauty had given him1 and 
exclaimed1 throwing the words in her    
face3  8,at a certain age ,i think a    
little more modesty is demanded40  ,from
 that moment1 from that evening1 the two
 were enemies1 two galley slaves bound  
by the same chain4    ,she was          
reclining1 rather than seated1 on the   
sofa1 with small and large cushions1    
which allowed her to change the frame of
 which she was the picture4 ,she was    
smoking a cigarette1 and had a ,french  
novel on her knee that could not have   
interested her very much1 for at that   
moment she yawned4 ,the yawn was cut    
short1 or rather interrupted1 by the    
sudden opening of the sitting-room door2
 no one ever entered the room in that   
way but him4 ,this time it was more like
 him than usual3 always a husband1 now  
an angry one4  ,he entered with his hat 
on his head1 his stick in his hand1 as  
if he were just going out or had just   
come in4 ,the latter was the case4 ,on  
returning from his walk a large envelope

 had been put into his hand in the      
anteroom4 ,it contained a dressmaker's  
bill1 the third or fourth he had        
received in a few months4 ,the total was
 very high1 higher than usual1 and he   
came into the room with the bill in his 
hand to make a scene4  8,come1 now1     
come1 now1 my lady1 when shall we finish
 with these accounts80  ,she made no    
answer1 but continued to smoke1 only    
growing a little red in the face4  8,it 
seems that my lady believes herself to  
be a millionaire2 this is the third bill
 that ,i have had to pay in little more 
than four months4 ,but what game are we 
playing1 my lady80  ,and my lady1       
throwing the end of her cigarette on a  
,japanese tray1 stretched out her       
voluptuous limbs1 and showed1 as if by  
chance1 a fairy-like foot and a leg for 
a sculptor4 ,more than once already had 
the disclosure of such a picture1 sacred
 to love1 warded off a heavy storm4     
,now1 however1 neither foot nor leg     
could disarm her husband1 who had thrown

 his stick on a chair1 but kept on his  
hat1 to increase the violence of his    
words and to give authority to his      
threats4 ,in the meantime he rumpled and
 then folded the innocent paper with    
alternate convulsive movements4  8,i    
shall not pay this bill2 you must pay it
 yourself4 ,you have jewels 7given by   
me1 of course72 put them in pawn4 ,you  
will then learn not to play the princess
 with other people's money40  ,the      
little foot and leg retired under the   
dress1 ashamed of their defeat1 and at  
last the lady opened her mouth too3  8,i
 think you can hardly expect me to cut a
 sorry figure in society40  8,but what  
society8 ,society of ,egypt6 ,many      
ladies who are more truly ladies than   
you don't spend half what you do4 ,i    
have inquired and know very well40      
8,yes1 your ,fifi told you1 your ,fifi1 
for whom you pay much larger bills than 
you do for your wife40  ,never had his  
wife uttered the name of the stage      
dancer until that moment1 and he had    

believed her to be quite ignorant of his
 amours4 ,he reddened up to his hair1   
frowned1 and shook himself as if he had 
been stung by a viper1 and the          
conversation became embittered even to  
brutality4  8,ah6 jealous1 and          
impertinent too6 ,it seems to me that   
when one has not brought a halfpenny of 
dowry there ought to be a little more   
modesty and economy40  8,good1 very     
good1 sir6 ,i have brought youth and    
beauty as a dowry1 and a dowry besides2 
yes1 you insolent man1 a good dowry1 a  
large sum which was lost in the failure 
of the ,bank of ,turin4 ,and is that my 
fault8 ,and you1 what have you brought  
me8 ,a bald head1 false teeth1 and a    
body eaten through with vice--a fine    
patrimony1 truly40  8,ah1 you had a     
dowry1 had you8 ,i have never seen it2  
the only treasure ,i have seen is the   
gold with which your teeth are stopped4 
,sell that and pay the dressmaker's bill
 with it40  ,the bill flew in the air   
and fell at the woman's feet4  ,the     

husband went out of the room1 slamming  
the door so loudly as to make the little
 ,japanese figures and the other        
bric-a-brac on the table tremble4 ,and  
the wife1 lighting a fresh cigarette1   
set to1 with all the force of her       
intellect1 to invent some revenge worthy
 of the insult received4  ,she was alone
 in her boudoir1 seated before a writing
 table of ebony inlaid with ivory4 ,she 
wrote rapidly and smiled to herself1 as 
one smiles when one is writing to one   
beloved1 and saying a saucy thing       
flavoured with much tenderness4         
,nothing was heard in the room but the  
soft and rhythmical scratching of the   
steel pen on the paper4 ,she was so     
intent on what she was writing that she 
had not heard someone raise the portire1
 enter the room1 and stand before her4  
,that someone was not the person to whom
 she was writing1 for raising her       
graceful head for a moment as if to seek
 an adjective more merrily saucy to put 
with the others1 she saw her husband1   

whom she believed was out1 standing     
before her4  ,she uttered a startled    
cry1 and unconsciously covered the paper
 she was writing on with her right hand4
  8,ah1 is it you8 ,how you frightened  
me60  8,another time ,i will have myself
 announced40  ,these words were said    
without anger1 and with a serene        
calmness2 but a diabolic irony played   
round the mouth4  ,the smile gradually  
converted itself to a real laugh1 to    
which the nodding head seemed to beat   
time4  8,perhaps you were writing to    
,count ,b4 ,who can write the better1   
you or he8 ,his letters are pretty1 very
 pretty6 ,how much passion--no1 passion 
is not a fit word1 it is too flattering2
 let us say sensuality1 lasciviousness1 
debauchery4 ,which of these words do you
 find most suitable80  ,the lady had    
become white as death4 ,the pen fell    
from her hand and made a large blot on  
the elegant paper4  ,but the husband1   
continuing to laugh1 had approached her1
 and having drawn a chair to the writing

 table1 stroked her hair lovingly4      
8,you were afraid2 but of what8 ,you    
think1 perhaps1 that ,i am come to make 
a scene1 or perhaps to kill you1 and    
then myself after4 ,no1 no2 ,i only like
 double suicides on the stage or in     
novels1 provided the author of the book 
or the drama has talent4 ,but here1 why 
stain this beautiful ,persian carpet    
with your blood1 why scatter mine over  
the elegant paper you were covering with
 your words of love8 ,it would really be
 a pity1 a crime1 and above all a folly4
 ,i am come to make a compact10 and he  
laid a long kiss on the little fair     
curls at her neck4  ,it seemed to the   
lady as if that kiss burnt her like a   
red-hot iron4  ,she withdrew her head   
and gazed at her husband with glassy    
eyes1 petrified with astonishment4  ,no1
 he had not really the look of an       
assassin4 ,he was calm1 cheerful1 like a
 good-tempered fellow who was playing an
 innocent joke1 a very innocent one4    
8,give me a cigarette4 ,the air is heavy

 with the odour of your cigarettes6     
,they must be very good ones4 ,probably 
,count ,b4 brought them for you from    
,constantinople80 ,he did not wait for  
her to give it to him1 but took one     
himself from a bronze bowl and lighted  
it4 8,i told you1 then1 that ,i was come
 to make a compact with you1 a compact  
of purchase and sale1 in which we shall 
both gain something4 ,look60  ,and here 
the husband took out of the pocket of   
his greatcoat a perfumed packet of      
letters tied with a golden cord4  8,i   
have a treasure here6 the entire and    
complete collection of all the letters  
the count has written you4 ,not one is  
missing6 ,the lady's maid you dismissed 
last week made me a present of them1    
gave them to me for nothing4 ,there are 
a hundred and thirty1 written in three  
months6 ,how much will you give me for  
this treasure80  ,the lady1 being       
suddenly reassured that her husband's   
intentions were not homicidal1 looked at
 him with a gaze full of contempt and   

cruelty4 ,she no longer felt fear or    
remorse4 ,she could have wished at that 
moment that the letters might have been 
not from one lover only1 but from ten1 a
 hundred1 and that each one could strike
 him and spit in his face4 ,she began to
 laugh too4  8,bravo6 capital6 you are a
 man of spirit4 ,give me a kiss60  ,and 
the kiss was given1 a faithful copy of  
the one that ,judas gave ,christ nearly 
twenty centuries ago4  8,i will give you
 a thousand francs60  8,oh6 oh6 oh60    
,and here followed a long and loud      
laugh4  8,a thousand francs6 a thousand 
francs6 ,what are you thinking of8 ,i   
want ten thousand francs1 not a penny   
more or less4 ,if not1 ,i will give them
 to your father for nothing1 only       
reserving two or three of the most      
lascivious to publish in the papers4 ,do
 you agree80  8,give them to him if you 
will4 ,i shall say that you wrote them1 
that they are false4 ,my father esteems 
me highly40  8,um6 ,your father is not a
 fool1 and the writing of the count is  

not forged4 ,i want ten thousand        
francs60  8,i will give you five40      
8,no2 it is too little4 ,i must pay     
,nina's milliner's bill1 and ,i want to 
go to ,paris40  8,i will give you six40 
8,no1 ten4 ,not a penny more or less40  
8,very well2 ,i will give you ten       
thousand francs4 ,give me the letters4  
,swear that they are all here60  8,look 
at the dates4 ,they are really all here4
 ,they are numbered too by the count1   
with red ink1 perhaps with his blood40  
,and here there was a loud laugh4       
8,when you bring me the ten thousand    
francs ,i will give you the letters1 not
 before40    ,the compact was made1 the 
letters were returned1 the sum was paid4
  ,the husband paid ,nina's milliner's  
bill1 and has gone to ,paris4 ,indeed1  
he has already returned and is still    
living in the house of his wife1 with   
whom he hopes soon to be able to        
negotiate a new ransom4  ,and she8  ,she
 has a new lover to whom she never      
writes and from whom she will not       

receive any letters4 ,when he complains 
of this strange proceeding she throws   
her arms round his neck and1 kissing    
him1 says3  8,is it not better1 dear1 to
 have a kiss the more and a letter the  
less80  ,and the husband has waited a   
long time in vain1 hoping to discover a 
new packet of perfumed letters1 tied    
with a golden cord1 all marked in       
progressive numbers1 written with red   
ink1 perhaps with blood4     ,,chapter  
,x4  ,,purgatory4   ,but few marriages  
are a hell1 and fewer still enjoy the   
highest beatitudes of heaven2 the most  
stand halfway between the two--that is1 
in purgatory4 ,there they live without  
redemption1 which means without any hope
 of mounting to heaven2 but neither have
 they any fear of being hurled down     
among the fallen angels4 ,after a more  
or less lengthy honeymoon they descend  
gradually to earth1 now walking amongst 
nettles and thorns1 now amongst the     
flowering beds of the garden1 to remain 
there till death4  ,to describe all the 

forms and accidents of this conjugal    
purgatory would be to exhaust the human 
universe4 ,it is enough for me to       
present some scenes taken from life1 so 
that you can judge of the rest from     
these examples4    ,it is eight o'clock 
in the morning2 he has been awake for   
some time2 she is sleeping soundly and  
sweetly4  ,he had been quiet and silent 
for more than an hour1 reading the      
paper1 smoking a cigarette1 looking at  
his wife with the fond hope that she may
 wake up of herself1 but in vain4  ,then
 he coughed several times1 used his     
handkerchief without needing it1 shook  
the bed1 but in vain4  ,the waiting had 
become impatience2 impatience had       
changed to a troublesome1 insupportable 
agitation4  ,then he gave her a sweet1  
light little kiss on her lips4 ,she woke
 with a start and stared at him--he who 
had expected a smile or an answer on a  
par with the question4  8,how you       
frightened me6 ,why did you wake me so  
suddenly80  8,i thought my kiss would   

have pleased you1 and hoped to wake you 
gradually without giving you a shock40  
8,but you know--you know very well that 
for some time past waking me in that way
 has hurt me4 ,it gives me palpitation  
of the heart1 and then ,i feel ill all  
day40  8,i have been awake since six    
o'clock1 and have had the patience to   
wait two hours for you to wake2 you have
 slept nine hours40  8,and if ,i wish to
 sleep ten what have you to say against 
it8 ,do you not remember that ,i worked 
like a dog yesterday1 that ,i had to    
attend to the house linen1 put the      
drawing room in order1 and then went    
round to all the shops to find a good   
flannel for your vests8 ,you ruin my    
health1 and will give me disease of the 
heart by your nasty habit of waking me  
up so suddenly40  8,and how ought ,i to 
wake you8 ,teach me40  8,if ,i could    
teach you to have a little more         
consideration1 if ,i could cure you of  
your egotism1 ,i would willingly do so2 
you only think of yourself40  ,the tone 

of the conversation on her part1 at     
first slightly irritated1 had become    
angry1 rancorous1 and full of suppressed
 bitterness4  ,he felt it1 but still    
hoped for a reconciliation4  ,he tried  
to feel her heart4  8,let me see if you 
really have palpitation of the heart40  
,she turned her back on him angrily4    
8,let me alone2 after having done me    
harm you now want to joke4 ,i tell you  
you will finish by killing me60  ,he    
turned away too1 muttering under his    
breath and thinking sad thoughts of that
 chemical combination called marriage4  
8,listen1 dear2 ,i should like to dine  
an hour earlier to-day40  8,and why80   
8,because ,i eat nothing at breakfast   
and have a poet's hunger40  8,i1 on the 
contrary1 have none at all4 ,i eat too  
much40  8,but besides my appetite1 ,i   
have another reason for wishing to dine 
earlier4 ,do you know1 ,i have promised 
my oldest and best friend1 ,giovanni1 to
 meet him at the station on his way to  
,rome80  8,who knows that it is not a   

lady instead80  8,come with me to the   
station and convince yourself40         
8,heaven defend me6 ,i am not jealous40 
8,a little6 ,you are jealous six days in
 the week and seven times every day4    
,you are always so and always in the    
wrong40  8,but ,i tell you ,i believe   
you2 ,i was only joking40  8,very well1 
then1 we will dine at five instead of   
six40  8,impossible6 ,annina has brought
 home such a tough fowl that it will    
require all the cooking in the world to 
have it ready by seven40  8,but ,i can  
do without the fowl60  8,but there is   
nothing else6 ,go another time to meet  
,giovanni--when he returns from ,rome1  
for instance40  8,he will not be        
returning by the same route4 ,i know he 
has to go back by ,civita ,vecchia and  
,genoa40  8,well1 anyhow1 we cannot dine
 at five60  8,ah6 it is enough that ,i  
should ask a thing for you to find a    
thousand and one difficulties to prevent
 you doing what ,i want4 ,it has been so
 ever since we were married1 and will be

 to the end40  8,and you will always be 
that obstinate and infallible man who   
wishes to command in housekeeping where 
the woman ought to be mistress40  8,go  
on1 go on6 ,just because one wants      
dinner at five instead of at six you    
have your usual reproaches for me4 ,i   
know them by heart already40  8,yet it  
does not appear so1 for you are         
incorrigible and will have what you want
 at any cost1 even if your wife's or    
children's health has to suffer1 or even
 if the sky fall40  8,yes1 yes1 you are 
right2 a tough fowl will kill you4 ,for 
,heaven's sake do not let us have such  
pettiness40  8,but it is you who are    
petty1 thanks for the compliment2 if ,i 
am petty you are egotistical1 and ought 
not to have married40  8,and you ought  
not to have had a husband1 you          
chatterer1 you intolerable scold60  8,go
 on4 ,haven't you some more gentle1 nice
 adjectives2 they are so well suited to 
your delicate mouth80  8,yes1 ,i have a 
good many left2 you are foolish and have

 no common sense2 you make a rope out of
 a thread of silk1 and in everything you
 find a pretext to make scenes and      
torment me1 and scatter gall on all you 
touch4 ,yes1 you must be suffering from 
the liver4 ,call in the doctor1 you must
 have the jaundice40  8,it is you who   
have the jaundice1 and to show you that 
you are the most petty of the two ,i    
will be silent and go40  8,and ,i will  
go too1 and will dine neither at five   
nor six1 but at the hotel4 ,at least ,i 
shall not hear your ugly and impertinent
 voice there1 your chatter without      
sense1 and ,i shall have an hour's rest 
from the infinite sweetnesses you       
scatter over the time when we are       
obliged to be together40  ,he is        
director of some large works4 ,he is    
early at his desk1 for it is ,saturday  
and he must balance the accounts of the 
week and pay the work people4 ,he is in 
an exceedingly bad temper1 for he has   
discovered that the cashier is not      
honest1 that his chief superintendent is

 ignorant1 and that a good many         
customers have sent in complaints of the
 bad quality of the goods despatched    
from the factory4 ,he has both arms on  
the writing table1 his head is between  
his hands1 and he looks mechanically at 
a row of figures before him without     
reading them4  ,she1 on the contrary1 is
 in the best of tempers1 for she feels  
well1 and when she was dressing her hair
 the glass told her how handsome she    
was1 very handsome2 and then her little 
boy on waking a little before had sat up
 in his cradle and1 smiling1 had said   
,mamma for the first time4  ,she caught 
him up in delight in his little white   
night-dress1 just as he was1 and ran to 
her husband's office1 opened the door   
without knocking or waiting to know if  
anyone was there1 and rushed in hastily 
and happily4  ,he had hardly time to    
raise his eyes before she was at the    
writing table1 and had placed the child 
on a bundle of papers1 and said in an   
agitated voice3  8,give papa a kiss40   

,papa loved the little fellow very much 
and the mother exceedingly2 but at that 
moment he hated all and everything1 even
 himself4 ,what would he have given at  
that moment not to be unkind2 what would
 he have done not to have had his wife  
and child there to make him hurt them6  
,how many fierce1 dumb1 and invisible   
struggles are carried on in a man's     
brain within a few seconds4  ,he said   
nothing1 but put his mouth quickly to   
the child's4  8,yes1 yes2 bravo2 give me
 a kiss and then go away directly1 for  
,i am busy--,i have a devil in every    
hair and a thousand anxieties in my mind
 444 yes 444 yes1 so 444 good-by1       
good-by40  ,and he almost pushed away   
mother and child with his two nervous1  
angry1 almost threatening hands4 ,the   
poor mother had not expected such a     
reception1 and could not reconcile      
herself to it4  8,do you know that      
,carlino has just said ,mamma for the   
first time1 really1 just now when he    
woke80  ,the father was silent and      

fretted1 angry with himself because he  
could not and did not know how to call  
up a single affectionate word to his    
lips or a sole caress to his hands2 all 
was dark before him1 and everything so  
bitter that absinthe would have seemed  
honey to him4  ,and to be obliged to be 
so hard with that touching picture      
before him6 ,oh1 why had that woman come
 at such a moment8 ,why had he not      
locked himself in his office8  ,the     
mother could not give in4 ,she drew her 
lips to his scowling forehead1 but he   
did not draw down those lips to his2 he 
simply touched her cheek coldly4 ,that  
kiss was an insult2 he was ice2 he was  
brutal4  ,she felt a lump in her throat1
 which broke into a sob4  8,yes1 yes1   
let us go away4 ,we will not come again 
to trouble you40  ,he got up hurriedly  
and went to the window1 but did not open
 it4 ,he put his hands through his hair 
and exclaimed aloud3  8,bless the women6
 they never understand anything2 they   
come into the office1 interrupt one's   

work1 and oblige one to be harsh to     
those one loves best4 ,and yet they     
pretend to be our equals40  ,he         
continued his panegyric on women alone1 
for mother and child had disappeared1   
both crying1 the mother mortally        
offended by the double blow--the one to 
the wife's heart1 the other to the      
mother's4 ,the child screamed1          
frightened at the cruel scene which he  
appeared to feel1 if he did not         
understand4  ,sobs and cries lasted some
 time1 and were heard through the wall  
in the office1 making a savage harmony  
with the bursts of impatience of the    
angry director of the factory4    8,do  
you know1 dear1 the ,marquis of         
,bellavista came into our box at the    
theatre yesterday evening80  8,what did 
he want8 ,i did not know he was in      
,florence40  8,neither did ,i40  8,um60 
8,i thought he was still in ,naples2 but
 he told me he was staying a day or two 
in ,florence on his way to the races at 
,milan1 and seeing me in the box1 he    

came up to shake hands with me40  8,i   
hope you were rude to him1 so that he   
will not be tempted to come and see you 
a second time40  8,rude1 no6 but cold4  
,you can ask your mother1 who was       
present at the time40  8,i can't believe
 that you had not seen him before during
 the day1 when you were out1 or perhaps 
here at home4 ,you tell me now that you 
have seen him at the theatre because a  
hundred others might tell me1 and you   
wished to forestall them40  8,but this  
is a gratuitous insult1 unjust1 cruel6  
,i do not think ,i have ever given you  
reason to doubt my loyalty40  8,i have  
not the slightest suspicion of any other
 man who may pay you attention1 but with
 the marquis it is quite a different    
thing4 ,before you married me he was    
deeply in love with you1 and you with   
him2 and the affair went a good way1 for
 you were engaged to each other4 ,it was
 only your father who broke off the     
engagement at the last moment because he
 heard the worst accounts of the        

character of his future son-in-law and  
of his disreputable conduct4 ,first love
 always leaves deep impressions40  8,no1
 my love1 had ,i really loved the       
marquis ,i should not have married      
anyone else1 nor should ,i have believed
 the accusations they cast at him4 ,i   
should have waited until ,i was mistress
 of myself1 and not have given my hand  
to another40  8,and how long was the    
marquis in the box80  8,about an hour40 
8,very good1 only an hour6 ,too short a 
time for a love appointment1 and too    
long for a complimentary visit40  8,but 
,i could not send him away40  8,when a  
woman desires it she can always make a  
man understand that his visit is        
inopportune1 inconvenient1 and that he  
must shorten it if possible40  8,you    
teach me how ,i can do so40  8,and then 
you chatted over your old love1 and the 
cruel rupture of your separation40  8,we
 only spoke of music and theatres40     
8,we may believe that4 ,but ,i am going 
out to see if ,i can discover whether   

the marquis is still in ,florence1 and  
how long he intends to stay4 ,and in the
 meantime1 if he is barefaced enough to 
call here1 ,i beg you will not receive  
him4 ,this ,i demand and desire40  8,no 
command is necessary2 ,i know my duty40 
8,not always4 ,a visit of an hour in the
 box of a woman to whom the man was once
 engaged is an offence to her husband40 
,she1 who was completely innocent1 felt 
herself really offended by all the      
suspicions of her husband1 and began to 
beat her foot on the carpet and to      
torture a volume of ,coppe lying on the 
table with a paper knife4  ,from anger  
and from opposition to the unmerited    
offence she had a firm idea that the    
,marquis of ,bellavista would never have
 been so jealous1 so foolishly jealous4 
,libertines know the hearts of women a  
little better4  ,the husband went out of
 the house without a farewell word to   
his wife4 ,he became a spy on the       
marquis1 and followed his steps from caf
 to caf1 at the club1 amongst friends1  

dividing his projects1 and tormenting   
himself in a hundred and one ways1 one  
more absurd than the other4  8,will you 
allow me1 dear1 to make an observation80
  ,the question is asked by a man still 
in bed1 and is addressed to his wife1   
who is near him under the same sheet1   
and is still sleepy4  8,about what80    
8,about the ,french song you sang       
yesterday at the countess's40  8,and    
what have you to say about it80  8,that 
you pronounced the u very badly1 just as
 if it were ou40  8,and have you nothing
 else to criticise80  8,no4 ,now do not 
be angry2 if your husband does not tell 
you of these things--------0  8,bravo1  
capital1 and a thousand thanks2 above   
all1 let me congratulate you on the time
 you have selected for correcting my    
errors in ,french pronunciation4        
,instead of wishing me good-morning with
 a kiss1 a caress1 or a loving word the 
,french professor gives me a lesson in  
language4 ,do you give it to me         
gratuitously1 or what do you charge for 

it80  8,there you are1 up on your high  
horse in a moment1 and for such a       
trifle4 ,you are a ,tuscan and the u is 
hard and difficult for those lips of    
yours1 which distil milk and honey2 but 
another time be careful4 ,people will   
say you do not know ,french40  8,but    
what ,french6 ,i ask you if in the      
excitement of the music1 or the torrent 
of notes1 there is anyone who would     
notice if one said u or ou4 ,and ,i do  
not speak of a vowel only4 ,who listens 
to the words8 ,they can only be         
distinguished with difficulty40  8,there
 are those who notice4 ,first of all1   
the ,french1 who do not like to hear    
their language mutilated2 then the      
envious1 the spiteful4 ,now only see1   
each time you had to repeat the word    
dur1 which you always pronounced dour1  
the ,marchioness ,vittoria smiled1 and  
looked at her sister1 who laughed and   
then pursed her lips to imitate you4    
,neither one nor the other was aware    
that ,i saw all their pantomime in the  

mirror40  8,how can you tell what they  
were laughing at8 ,i know that ,i was   
very much applauded1 and that my voice  
and method of singing were praised40    
8,you certainly sing well1 but remember 
that in good society applause is        
bestowed upon all1 especially upon      
handsome women40  8,yes1 but only to    
those who know how to pronounce the u40 
8,shall ,i tell you all1 since you are  
determined to take offence at the       
slightest observation which ,i make80   
8,yes1 tell me40  8,well1 the ,duke of  
,st4 ,etienne whilst they so loudly     
applauded you bent forward to his cousin
 and said3 #8,oui1 elle chant trs-bien1 
mais elle a le timbre de la voix un peu 
dour4' ,and the amiable little cousin   
covered her face to hide her ,homeric   
laugh40  8,dur or dour1 ,i must get up  
an hour earlier1 or else you will drive 
me mad4 ,my day will be a happy one1 and
 ,i shall have you to thank for it4 ,a  
thousand thanks1 you master of ,french60
  ,to know the reason of this sudden    

burst of anger1 why from being slightly 
keen the conversation became suddenly   
bitter1 and the notes from sharp became 
acute1 you must understand that the     
cousin of the duke was1 from position1  
youth1 and beauty1 the official rival of
 the lady who pronounced u as ou4       
,they are both seated at the table with 
their four children1 their ages ranging 
from five to twelve years4 ,she1 the    
mother1 is helping them all4 ,he is     
watching the distribution of a delicious
 custard4 ,from time to time he frowns1 
and shakes his head in sign of          
disapprobation4  ,and this pantomime    
continued so long that at last she      
became aware of it1 and in her turn     
looked at him crossly and put down the  
spoon4  8,what is the matter8 ,some new 
criticism80  8,yes1 but it's no new     
subject of complaint4 ,for some time    
past ,i have noticed the thing every day
 at breakfast1 dinner1 and supper1 and  
if ,i have not given utterance to my    
dislike1 it has been to avoid any       

unpleasantness2 but to-day it seems as  
if ,i were losing patience40  8,lose it2
 ,i will pick it up40  8,you might have 
a little more consideration1 especially 
when you usurp the prerogative of a god 
and distribute good and evil with such  
authority40  8,what do you mean80  8,i  
mean that you always serve the boys     
first and the girls after1 whilst in all
 ages and countries ladies are served   
first40  ,she began to laugh heartily4  
8,but ,i see no ladies here1 only       
children1 who have no sex in my eyes1   
for ,i love them all equally4 ,to-day1  
and for several days past1 ,i have      
helped ,cecchino and ,pietro first      
because they are near me4 ,when ,maria  
was in ,cecchino's place ,i helped her  
first4 ,what6 ought we to teach         
children1 in their earliest age of      
innocence1 etiquette and the laws of    
society8 ,this seems to me the height of
 absurdity40  8,as to the absurdity of  
the idea1 that is not the question4 ,it 
is a matter of justice4 ,you always     

prefer the boys40  8,and you the girls1 
so we are quits40  8,but look round and 
read your condemnation in the plates of 
the children4 ,you not only help the    
boys first1 but you give them more40    
8,of course2 they are older60  8,no1 no1
 independently of age you are partial40 
8,but when none are the same age80      
8,what difference does one or two years 
make8 ,the difference is in your        
injustice1 your deplorable partiality40 
8,do me the favour of helping them      
yourself4 ,it will be one labour the    
less for me and for you a pleasant      
occupation1 a splendid opportunity to   
administer justice in the family4 ,from 
this time forth ,i will help them no    
more40  8,neither will ,i40    ,for the 
honour of the two married people who    
discoursed so learnedly on distributive 
justice1 it must be remarked that they  
spoke in ,german1 a language the        
children did not know4 ,so that for this
 time at least they had no opportunity  
of learning that heaven is very far from

 most families1 and that human justice  
is generally very unjust4  ,the reader  
will be grateful to me for not wearying 
him longer with other sketches taken    
from real life revealing the matrimonial
 purgatory4 ,hell is awful1 but it has  
its dramatic emotions and these offer   
some compensation for all there is of   
monstrous1 sanguinary1 or horrible4     
,purgatory instead is very small1 mean1 
and deplorably vulgar4 ,there are no    
ocean storms1 but bogs which submerge us
 inch by inch2 no tiger bites1 but      
mosquito stings2 no lion's claws1 but   
the puncture of the flea2 no delirium or
 crime1 but secret sobs and silent      
tears2 the continual itching of a scab  
which heals1 forms a crust1 and is again
 broken2 an exudation of malignant      
humours which leak out drop by drop from
 the marrow of the bones through the    
tissues1 to the skin1 and there they    
remain viscid1 fetid1 and contagious4   
,this is a true but not very enticing   
picture of the purgatory of marriage1 a 

hundred times worse than the purgatory  
of the ,catholic ,church1 which after a 
longer or shorter time leads to heaven4 
,this other only leads through a long1  
sorrowful life1 to death at the last4   
,,chapter ,,xi4  ,,paradise4   ,they had
 been seated near each other for some   
time on the same sofa1 not in the       
voluptuous atmosphere of desire1 but in 
a calm and ingenuous admiration of each 
other4  ,they had no desires1 for all   
were satisfied1 but they were not       
indifferent nor were they weary1 for the
 light of love shown eternally in their 
heaven2 twilights of laughing morn or   
melancholy sundowns1 but never night4   
,true faithful love knows no darkness4  
,when the planetary sun sinks in the    
west there are lighted for true lovers  
the many-coloured lamps of an electric  
beacon1 which1 like an iridescent       
rainbow1 joins sundown to dawn4  ,on her
 knees1 as if in a sweet doze1 a volume 
of ,musset was lying half open1 and her 
right hand was more than pressed1 it was

 grasped1 in his left4 ,she had read    
several pages of the great poet aloud1  
as only she knew how to read1 pointing  
those immortal verses with the          
passionate accent of one who reading    
loves1 and loving reads4 ,at that       
inspired reading he had been always     
silent1 but low and frequent sighs told 
her that through those hands closed in  
such close embrace there crept a tremor 
of high and perfect happiness4 ,the     
current of her touch said to him softly3
  8,listen1 dear1 how beautiful it is60 
,and his answered hers with a tremor3   
8,thank you1 dearest60  ,then all at    
once1 without her having said1 8,i am   
tired60 or his having said1 8,that is   
enough60 the book had fallen on her     
knees and they gazed into each other's  
eyes4  ,in fact1 these two happy beings 
were nothing but eyes1 open1 wide open1 
to drink in all the light that emanated 
from their souls3 eyes moistened with   
tears which did not fall on their       
cheeks1 but were absorbed as by an      

invisible sponge which conveyed them to 
the heart4 ,had anyone been present he  
would have heard a double tic-tac in    
unison1 the harmony of two notes1 one   
high and one low1 the divine music of   
two souls who converse without words4   
,her eyes were sweet1 tender1 and very  
mild2 they appeared as if they were     
dissolving in the dew of paradise4 ,his 
eyes lightened1 were ardent and fiery1  
drinking in the paradisean ambrosia of  
her pupils4  ,tremour of the frame1     
contraction of clasped hands1 and       
lightning from their eyes accorded      
harmoniously with the tic-tac of two    
hearts bound together2 the whole an     
ecstasy of two existences1 which are at 
one in the pores of the skin1 the nerves
 of the soul1 the muscles of the will4  
,was it voluptuousness8  ,no1 it was    
bliss4  ,was it lasciviousness8  ,no1   
something less than all those2 only two 
lives fused into one4  ,after a sigh    
from both a spark darted from those     
eyes2 and from those lips there came at 

the same moment1 as if a signal had been
 given1 these words3  8,oh1 how handsome
 you are60  8,oh1 how lovely you are60  
,they had been married for three years1 
and not the slightest cloud had obscured
 the heaven of their happiness4 ,when1  
during the first months1 she had drawn a
 deep sigh and said to him1  8,oh1 my   
,carlo1 how happy we are60  ,he1 as if  
seized with a mysterious fear1 had      
answered her3  8,no1 ,teresa1 do not say
 so6 ,it seems as if it must bring      
misfortune4 ,when ,god sees a man happy 
he judges him as standing in            
contravention of human and divine laws1 
and whispers to him that terrible dictum
 which one sees promulgated everywhere  
in ,england against those who violate   
regulations3 ,you will be prosecuted4   
,just imagine if instead of one happy   
person he should find two6 ,the penalty 
must be doubled40  ,she blushed and     
smiled4 ,she did not believe at all in  
that form of superstition1 but willingly
 obeyed1 and for some time did not say3 

8,carlo1 how happy we are60  ,this did  
not prevent their being so4 ,one day1   
however1 she repeated the happy         
exclamation1 for which she felt the real
 necessity in order to relieve the      
fulness of her heart4  ,carlo closed her
 mouth with his hand1 but this time she 
resisted1 and almost for fun repeated   
the same words ten times3  8,you will   
see that no harm will come to us40      
,and1 in fact1 the most complete bliss  
continued to shine in the blue heavens  
of those two happy ones4 ,they were two 
and they were one2 but sometimes1       
sighing1 they had said3  8,why are we   
not three80  ,it was he really who had  
said so2 and she then blushed and hung  
her head1 sighing3  8,you are right1    
,carlo2 our happiness is too great for  
two alone2 divided among three it would 
be better40  8,but the third1 ,teresa1  
ought to be tiny1 tiny--so1 look10 and  
he opened the palm of his hand to show  
the length that this third partner in   
their happiness ought to be4  ,this     

discourse1 however1 did not please      
,teresa1 and after a forced smile she   
kissed ,carlo and gave him a pat on the 
cheek1 and said in a shame-faced way1   
and with an unsteady voice3  8,you know 
it is not my fault40  8,i know it is not
 the fault of either of us1 we love each
 other so much4 ,but do not worry any   
more about it2 we can be happy even if  
we are only two40  ,and from that day   
they had never referred again to the    
third being1 who was to be a span long1 
and was to share their felicity4  ,but  
both of them thought of it constantly4  
,it was not a cloud which covered the   
sun1 but a light mist which dimmed it4  
,one day when he was in his study busy  
writing she ran in as if she had        
something very urgent to say to him2    
then instead1 when halfway in the room1 
she stood still4  8,what is it1         
,teresa80  8,i have good and delightful 
news for you40  8,really80  ,she smiled 
and blushed1 and with little timid1     
hesitating steps1 as if she had some    

fault to confess1 she came close to the 
writing table1 embraced ,carlo1 and hid 
her head on his shoulder4 ,she still    
kept silence and her face was hidden4   
,in vain he endeavoured to move her away
 that he might see her face4 ,he thought
 he guessed1 but still feared he might  
be deceiving himself4  8,is it true1    
then1 really true1 my dear1 dear        
,teresa80  ,with a sudden courage she   
took one of his hands and placed it on  
her heart4  8,listen1 ,carlo1 there are 
three of us40  ,he rose suddenly1       
agitated1 embraced her1 and kissed her a
 hundred times on the eyes1 cheeks1     
hair1 mouth1 everywhere1 interrupting   
his kisses with sighs of joy4  8,thanks1
 thanks1 my adored one40  ,they         
continued to be happy1 and to call      
themselves so1 without fear that ,god   
would know it1 consider them in         
contravention1 and murmur in their ears3
  ,you will be prosecuted4    ,they had 
not seen each other for eight days6 ,he 
had been obliged to leave her alone on  

account of urgent business4  ,eight     
days--that is eight centuries6 ,he had  
written eight times1 she ten1 for on one
 day which seemed longer than the others
 she had written three times1 in the    
three different languages she knew4  ,in
 the last1 written in ,english in the   
evening1 she finished with these words3 
8,why do ,i not know seven languages8   
,then ,i should have written seven times
 to you to-day1 because the same thing  
said in different languages seems       
different1 and renews my joy in thinking
 of you4 ,i should like to say ,i love  
you in all the languages in the         
world44440  ,at last he telegraphed his 
arrival1 and she had been an hour at the
 station1 walking up and down by the    
deserted rails4  ,she looked at her     
watch1 then at the station clock2 it    
seemed to her as if it must have        
stopped1 so much like centuries did     
those minutes appear4  ,with her most   
pleasant smile she went to one of the   
officials3  8,is the train from ,genoa  

late80  8,yes1 about ten minutes40  ,how
 cruel those four words were6 ,how she  
condemned in her heart ,italian         
railways1 engine drivers1 directors1 and
 shareholders1 who by their negligence  
had inflicted another ten minutes upon  
her anxious waiting4 ,she drew near the 
kiosk of newspapers and books1 but      
without looking at anything2 she bought 
flowers1 but did not smell them2 she    
kept her eyes turned toward ,genoa1     
strained her ears1 bit her lips1 but the
 train came not4  ,in a moment a        
thousand fears flashed through her      
mind--the remembrance of the last       
collision1 the many killed and          
injured--------  ,she did not dare to go
 to the same official4 ,she went to     
another1 timid and full of fears4 ,this 
time she did not succeed in smiling4    
8,is the train from ,genoa still late80 
8,yes1 ten minutes2 it will be here in  
five minutes now40  ,shortly after a    
whistle was heard1 then a low and heavy 
vibration of the rails1 a great column  

of smoke appeared1 then the heavy wheels
 rolled under the roof of the station4  
,she ran from one carriage to another1  
impatient and anxious2 he was not there4
  ,travellers alighted in crowds4 ,he   
was not there4  ,her heart beat fast1   
she did not know what to do4 ,she turned
 her back to the train and walked toward
 the station master without knowing what
 she ought to say1 or even could say to 
him4  ,but she had no need of him1 for  
she felt herself clasped closely by two 
loving arms4  ,it was he1 it was ,carlo6
  ,the eight days of agony1 the seventy 
minutes of anxiety1 all were forgotten1 
all submerged in a sea of infinite      
sweetness4  ,they said nothing until    
they were in the carriage1 and whilst   
they drove to their happy home she1     
kissing him a hundred times1 exclaimed3 
8,do you know1 ,i love you more than you
 love me80  8,but why80  8,because ,i   
have written ten times to you1 and you  
only eight times to me40  8,well1 next  
time ,i will write twenty times to you40

  8,no1 no4 ,i do not want even one     
letter4 ,another time1 if you will let  
me1 ,i will come with you4 ,i will not  
be away from you2 ,i cannot bear it40   
,they were seated at table at the usual 
hour1 calm and happy1 with no one but   
themselves4  ,they never sat facing each
 other1 but side by side1 because even  
during meal times they felt the         
necessity of caressing and kissing each 
other4  ,toward the middle of dinner she
 said1 all at once1 as if the words had 
been held back1 and were now forced from
 her by some internal and invisible     
spring3  8,do you know that ,lieutenant 
,b4 came again at five this evening to  
pay me a visit80  8,well80  8,it is the 
third time in one week40  8,indeed60    
8,yes1 he always comes at the hours when
 he knows you are at the office40       
8,perhaps he is not free at any other   
hour40  8,listen1 ,paolo1 you take it   
too indifferently4 ,i think1 however1   
that in this case you ought to think    
more of it40  8,but what does the       

lieutenant say to you80  8,as you may   
believe1 he has never failed in respect 
toward me--but when there are no other  
visitors he looks at me too             
persistently1 and says the most         
innocently polite things1 but in too    
warm a tone40  8,lieutenant ,b4 is my   
friend1 and a perfect gentleman4 ,he has
 but just come to ,modena1 and knows    
nobody4 ,it is only natural that he     
should pay visits to the wife of his old
 friend and fellow-student40  8,in      
short1 you are satisfied that he should 
come here three times a week to see me1 
stay more than an hour1 look at me and  
tell me ,i am beautiful40  8,i do not   
believe he has gone beyond that--anyhow 
,i will beg him to come in the evening1 
when ,i also am at home40  8,no1 that   
would be to show some mistrust1 which1  
so far1 he has not deserved4 ,i will    
tell my maid to say1 once or twice1 that
 ,i am out1 and then he will change the 
hour of his visits40  8,do what you     
think best1 dear one1 and ,i will do    

whatever you desire to calm your fears  
about this gallant lieutenant4 ,but do  
you really wish to be more of a royalist
 than the king1 and to disquiet yourself
 when ,i am not disquieted80  8,but1    
,paolo1 ,i am sorry that you are not    
more concerned4 ,it is not only on      
account of the lieutenant that ,i speak1
 but of all those who at the theatre1 at
 home1 and in society think me          
beautiful1 say so1 and pay me too much  
court4 ,in short1 my own ,paolo1 shall  
,i tell you8 ,i should like to see you a
 little more jealous of me40  ,at this  
point ,paolo put down his knife and     
fork1 fell back in his chair1 and began 
to laugh so heartily1 so full of        
merriment1 and so loudly that it made   
her laugh as well4  8,a hundred wives   
complain of the jealousy of their       
husbands1 and ,i have one who deplores  
my want of it40  8,no1 ,paolo1 do not   
laugh4 ,this indifference of yours makes
 me think you do not love me1 and that  
it does not matter to you at all if     

others pay me too much attention1 and   
that wounds me40  8,dear one1 dearest of
 my treasures1 to please you ,i will    
become jealous too40  8,a little--not   
too much40  8,a little--how much1 for   
example8 ,so8 two fingers1 three        
fingers1 half a metre80  8,no1 do not   
make fun of me4 ,you know how much ,i   
love you2 you know you are my very life1
 that without you ,i should die4        
,everything ,i say to you proceeds from 
the immense love ,i bear you4 ,i1 you   
see1 am jealous of you40  8,but not ,i  
of you1 for ,i esteem you too much1 and 
should fear to offend you by any doubts4
 ,a woman can always protect herself    
without the aid of an ally2 and when she
 has a husband whom she loves and       
esteems he supports her in the course of
 attacks1 menaces1 and gallantry4 ,and  
together they defend their own honour   
and felicity40  8,yes1 dear1 you have   
every reason in the world 444 but to    
make me happy1 be a little jealous40    
8,yes1 dear1 you shall teach me the way 

to become so40  ,and then those two     
happy creatures interrupted their dinner
 to throw themselves into each other's  
arms1 and make peace after this trivial 
battle4  ,he had loosened her           
handkerchief and had covered her neck   
with a whole string of kisses4  8,see1  
,nina1 ,i am jealous of this            
handkerchief which kisses your shoulders
 all through the day1 and so ,i take its
 place4 ,do you not see1 ,nina1 that ,i 
begin to obey you8 ,i am taking the     
first lesson in jealousy40    ,they were
 both leaning on the sill of a window   
which looked toward the sea4 ,it was    
late1 and the stars sparkled in a sky   
which was not yet dark1 but no longer   
blue4  ,no sound was heard save the     
murmur of the breeze among the palm     
leaves and the distant flow of the waves
 as they kissed the shore4  ,they did   
not speak2 but the arm of one entwined  
in that of the other spoke with the hand
 the words for which the lips were      
silent4  ,a perfume of jasmine1 pungent 

and voluptuous1 rose from the garden and
 intoxicated those two4 ,they were      
happy4  ,she interrupted the long       
silence3  8,dearest1 even when you look 
at the sky and the sea do you not       
believe in ,god1 in another life80  ,he 
did not answer1 but1 sighing1 pressed   
her hand still more firmly4  8,after    
all1 if you will let me say so1 this    
negation of yours of all that reason    
cannot understand is nothing but pride  
pure and simple40  ,he was still silent 
and answered with another pressure of   
the hand1 longer1 more tender1 and more 
passionate4  8,the ants come into life  
and die without knowing man or          
understanding him4 ,still man exists2   
and why cannot we be so many ants to    
another being more man1 more god1 more  
angel than we are80  ,and still no      
answer4 ,his hands only answered with   
increasing tenderness4  8,but speak1 my 
treasure2 say something to me40  ,here  
his obstinately closed lips opened3     
8,but ,dr4 ,faust has already answered  

them in divine words to the ,margaret of
 ,goethe40  8,they may be divine words1 
if you will2 but they do not please me  
at all4 ,faust answers one interrogation
 with another4 ,he answers like the     
ancient sybil40  8,and in what other way
 can a man answer the problem1 ,to be1  
or not to be8 ,a dogmatic answer might  
be an offence to reason1 and ,i hate to 
confess ,i believe in something ,i do   
not understand40  8,pride1 pride1 always
 pride2 your modern science is entirely 
leavened with it40  8,and your faith    
with superstition40  8,no1 my love1 ,i  
do not wish to force my faith upon you2 
but believe something1 make a faith for 
yourself1 but do not tell me we shall   
not live even after death40  8,yes1 my  
treasure1 ,i also have my faith4 ,give  
me a kiss40  ,they kissed each other so 
long and so warmly that their kiss was  
the loudest sound heard in the deep     
surrounding stillness4  8,see1 ,i       
believe in your love4 ,i believe in the 
joy you give me4 ,if you will1 ,i also  

believe that our souls at this moment   
have come to our lips from the very     
depths of our being and have melted in  
an ecstasy of love40  8,well1 and must  
these poor souls die with the bodies    
which inclose them80  8,ah1 who knows80 
8,then you doubt your own doubts80      
8,listen1 love2 ,i am going to make a   
confession2 but say nothing of it to any
 living soul1 for men would laugh at me4
 ,for them supreme wisdom consists in   
never changing an opinion or turning    
again to any faith1 although nature     
changes its course every day1 and       
progress itself is but a negation of    
what has happened yesterday4 ,before    
knowing you ,i believed in nothing1 but 
now the idea that we could not meet     
again in heaven is unsupportable1 and ,i
 hope--------0  8,my treasure1 if you   
hope you are halfway on the road which  
leads to faith40  8,and with you and for
 you who knows but ,i may gain it some  
day4 ,to-day leave me halfway on the    
road40    ,she put her arms round his   

neck and kissed him anew1 and with more 
length than before4  ,the kiss1 however1
 this time made no sound1 and nothing   
was heard in the deep surrounding       
stillness1 but the breeze amongst the   
palm leaves and the ebb and flow of the 
waves on the shore4     ,printed from   
,american ,plates  ,,ballantyne1        
,,hanson  ,,co4  ,london  ,edinburgh    
,transcriber's ,note3                   
,the original spelling1 hyphenation1 and
 punctuation have been         retained1
 with the exception of apparent         
typographical errors         which have 
been corrected without note4            
,ambiguous hyphens at the ends of lines 
were retained4                          
,italicized words are surrounded by     
underline characters1 like        this4 
,other corrections3                     
,pages #dd1 #de and #ig3 fonder changed 
to foudre4 7coup de                     
foudre47                                
,page #fi3 ,the  and  symbols should be 
reversed4                               

,page #aaa footnote #c3 ,geschlechter   
changed to ,geschlechter4               
7,der ,kampf der ,geschlechter47        
,page #aef3 chaupette-bleue changed to  
choupette-bleue 7much            less a 
ichoupette-bleue_/i47