,,the ,,physiology ,,of ,,marriage      
,,first ,,part                          
,,by                                    
,,honore ,,de ,,balzac                  
,,dedication    ,notice the words3 ,the 
man of distinction to whom this book is 
dedicated4 ,need ,i say3 ,you are that  
man4--,,the ,,author4    ,the woman who 
may be induced by the title of this book
 to open it1   can save herself the     
trouble2 she has already read the work  
without knowing it4 ,a man1 however     
malicious he may possibly be1   can     
never say about a woman as much good or 
as much evil as they   themselves think4
 ,if1 in spite of this notice1 a woman  
will   persist in reading the volume1   
she ought to be prevented by   delicacy 
from despising the author1 from the very
 moment that he1   forfeiting the praise
 which most artists welcome1 has in a   
certain   way engraved on the title page
 of his book the prudent inscription    
written on the portal of certain        
establishments3 ,ladies must not        

enter4                           ,,the  
,,physiology ,,of ,,marriage2           
,,or1      ,,the ,,musings ,,of ,,an    
,,eclectic ,,philosopher ,,on ,,the     
,,happiness ,,and                       
,,unhappiness ,,of ,,married ,,life     
,,introduction  ,marriage is not an     
institution of nature4 ,the family in   
the east is entirely different from the 
family in the west4 ,man is the servant 
of nature1 and the institutions of      
society are grafts1 not spontaneous     
growths of nature4 ,laws are made to    
suit manners1 and manners vary4         
,marriage must therefore undergo the    
gradual development towards perfection  
to which all human affairs submit4      
,these words1 pronounced in the presence
 of the ,conseil d',etat by ,napoleon   
during the discussion of the civil code1
 produced a profound impression upon the
 author of this book2 and perhaps       
unconsciously he received the suggestion
 of this work1 which he now presents to 
the public4 ,and indeed at the period   

during which1 while still in his youth1 
he studied ,french law1 the word        
,,adultery made a singular impression   
upon him4 ,taking1 as it did1 a         
prominent place in the code1 this word  
never occurred to his mind without      
conjuring up its mournful train of      
consequences4 ,tears1 shame1 hatred1    
terror1 secret crime1 bloody wars1      
families without a head1 and social     
misery rose like a sudden line of       
phantoms before him when he read the    
solemn word ,,adultery6 ,later on1 when 
he became acquainted with the most      
cultivated circles of society1 the      
author perceived that the rigor of      
marriage laws was very generally        
modified by adultery4 ,he found that the
 number of unhappy homes was larger than
 that of happy marriages4 ,in fact1 he  
was the first to notice that of all     
human sciences that which relates to    
marriage was the least progressive4 ,but
 this was the observation of a young    
man2 and with him1 as with so many      

others1 this thought1 like a pebble     
flung into the bosom of a lake1 was lost
 in the abyss of his tumultuous         
thoughts4 ,nevertheless1 in spite of    
himself the author was compelled to     
investigate1 and eventually there was   
gathered within his mind1 little by     
little1 a swarm of conclusions1 more or 
less just1 on the subject of married    
life4 ,works like the present one are   
formed in the mind of the author with as
 much mystery as that with which        
truffles grow on the scented plains of  
,perigord4 ,out of the primitive and    
holy horror which adultery caused him   
and the investigation which he had      
thoughtlessly made1 there was born one  
morning a trifling thought in which his 
ideas were formulated4 ,this thought was
 really a satire upon marriage4 ,it was 
as follows3 ,a husband and wife found   
themselves in love with each other for  
the first time after twenty-seven years 
of marriage4  ,he amused himself with   
this little axiom and passed a whole    

week in delight1 grouping around this   
harmless epigram the crowd of ideas     
which came to him unconsciously and     
which he was astonished to find that he 
possessed4 ,his humorous mood yielded at
 last to the claims of serious          
investigation4 ,willing as he was to    
take a hint1 the author returned to his 
habitual idleness4 ,nevertheless1 this  
slight germ of science and of joke grew 
to perfection1 unfostered1 in the fields
 of thought4 ,each phase of the work    
which had been condemned by others took 
root and gathered strength1 surviving   
like the slight branch of a tree which1 
flung upon the sand by a winter's storm1
 finds itself covered at morning with   
white and fantastic icicles1 produced by
 the caprices of nightly frosts4 ,so the
 sketch lived on and became the starting
 point of myriad branching              
moralizations4 ,it was like a polypus   
which multiplies itself by generation4  
,the feelings of youth1 the observations
 which a favorable opportunity led him  

to make1 were verified in the most      
trifling events of his after life4 ,soon
 this mass of ideas became harmonized1  
took life1 seemed1 as it were1 to become
 a living individual and moved in the   
midst of those domains of fancy1 where  
the soul loves to give full rein to its 
wild creations4 ,amid all the           
distractions of the world and of life1  
the author always heard a voice ringing 
in his ears and mockingly revealing the 
secrets of things at the very moment he 
was watching a woman as she danced1     
smiled1 or talked4 ,just as             
,mephistopheles pointed out to ,faust in
 that terrific assemblage at the        
,brocken1 faces full of frightful       
augury1 so the author was conscious in  
the midst of the ball of a demon who    
would strike him on the shoulder with a 
familiar air and say to him3 ,do you    
notice that enchanting smile8 ,it is a  
grin of hatred4 ,and then the demon     
would strut about like one of the       
captains in the old comedies of ,hardy4 

,he would twitch the folds of a lace    
mantle and endeavor to make new the     
fretted tinsel and spangles of its      
former glory4 ,and then like ,rabelais  
he would burst into loud and            
unrestrainable laughter1 and would trace
 on the street-wall a word which might  
serve as a pendant to the ,drink6 which 
was the only oracle obtainable from the 
heavenly bottle4 ,this literary ,trilby 
would often appear seated on piles of   
books1 and with hooked fingers would    
point out with a grin of malice two     
yellow volumes whose title dazzled the  
eyes4 ,then when he saw he had attracted
 the author's attention he spelt out1 in
 a voice alluring as the tones of an    
harmonica1 ,physiology of ,marriage6    
,but1 almost always he appeared at night
 during my dreams1 gentle as some fairy 
guardian2 he tried by words of sweetness
 to subdue the soul which he would      
appropriate to himself4 ,while he       
attracted1 he also scoffed at me2 supple
 as a woman's mind1 cruel as a tiger1   

his friendliness was more formidable    
than his hatred1 for he never yielded a 
caress without also inflicting a wound4 
,one night in particular he exhausted   
the resources of his sorceries1 and     
crowned all by a last effort4 ,he came1 
he sat on the edge of the bed like a    
young maiden full of love1 who at first 
keeps silence but whose eyes sparkle1   
until at last her secret escapes her4   
,this1 said he1 is a prospectus of a new
 life-buoy1 by means of which one can   
pass over the ,seine dry-footed4 ,this  
other pamphlet is the report of the     
,institute on a garment by wearing which
 we can pass through flames without     
being burnt4 ,have you no scheme which  
can preserve marriage from the miseries 
of excessive cold and excessive heat8   
,listen to me6 ,here we have a book on  
the ,art of preserving foods2 on the    
,art of curing smoky chimneys2 on the   
,art of making good mortar2 on the ,art 
of tying a cravat2 on the ,art of       
carving meat4  ,in a moment he had named

 such a prodigious number of books that 
the author felt his head go round4      
,these myriads of books1 says he1 have  
been devoured by readers2 and while     
everybody does not build a house1 and   
some grow hungry1 and others have no    
cravat1 or no fire to warm themselves   
at1 yet everybody to some degree is     
married4 ,but come look yonder4  ,he    
waved his hand1 and appeared to bring   
before me a distant ocean where all the 
books of the world were tossing up and  
down like agitated waves4 ,the          
octodecimos bounded over the surface of 
the water4 ,the octavos as they were    
flung on their way uttered a solemn     
sound1 sank to the bottom1 and only rose
 up again with great difficulty1        
hindered as they were by duodecimos and 
works of smaller bulk which floated on  
the top and melted into light foam4 ,the
 furious billows were crowded with      
journalists1 proof-readers1             
paper-makers1 apprentices1 printers'    
agents1 whose hands alone were seen     

mingled in the confusion among the      
books4 ,millions of voices rang in the  
air1 like those of schoolboys bathing4  
,certain men were seen moving hither and
 thither in canoes1 engaged in fishing  
out the books1 and landing them on the  
shore in the presence of a tall man1 of 
a disdainful air1 dressed in black1 and 
of a cold1 unsympathetic expression4    
,the whole scene represented the        
libraries and the public4 ,the demon    
pointed out with his finger a skiff     
freshly decked out with all sails set   
and instead of a flag bearing a placard4
 ,then with a peal of sardonic laughter1
 he read with a thundering voice3       
,physiology of ,marriage4  ,the author  
fell in love1 the devil left him in     
peace1 for he would have undertaken more
 than he could handle if he had entered 
an apartment occupied by a woman4       
,several years passed without bringing  
other torments than those of love1 and  
the author was inclined to believe that 
he had been healed of one infirmity by  

means of another which took its place4  
,but one evening he found himself in a  
,parisian drawing-room where one of the 
men among the circle who stood round the
 fireplace began the conversation by    
relating in a sepulchral voice the      
following anecdote3   ,a peculiar thing 
took place at ,ghent while ,i was       
staying there4 ,a lady ten years a widow
 lay on her bed attacked by mortal      
sickness4 ,the three heirs of collateral
 lineage were waiting for her last sigh4
 ,they did not leave her side for fear  
that she would make a will in favor of  
the convent of ,beguins belonging to the
 town4 ,the sick woman kept silent1 she 
seemed dozing and death appeared to     
overspread very gradually her mute and  
livid face4 ,can't you imagine those    
three relations seated in silence       
through that winter midnight beside her 
bed8 ,an old nurse is with them and she 
shakes her head1 and the doctor sees    
with anxiety that the sickness has      
reached its last stage1 and holds his   

hat in one hand and with the other makes
 a sign to the relations1 as if to say  
to them3 ,i have no more visits to make 
here4 ,amid the solemn silence of the   
room is heard the dull rustling of a    
snow-storm which beats upon the         
shutters4 ,for fear that the eyes of the
 dying woman might be dazzled by the    
light1 the youngest of the heirs had    
fitted a shade to the candle which stood
 near that bed so that the circle of    
light scarcely reached the pillow of the
 deathbed1 from which the sallow        
countenance of the sick woman stood out 
like a figure of ,christ imperfectly    
gilded and fixed upon a cross of        
tarnished silver4 ,the flickering rays  
shed by the blue flames of a crackling  
fire were therefore the sole light of   
this sombre chamber1 where the          
denouement of a drama was just ending4  
,a log suddenly rolled from the fire    
onto the floor1 as if presaging some    
catastrophe4 ,at the sound of it the    
sick woman quickly rose to a sitting    

posture4 ,she opened two eyes1 clear as 
those of a cat1 and all present eyed her
 in astonishment4 ,she saw the log      
advance1 and before any one could check 
an unexpected movement which seemed     
prompted by a kind of delirium1 she     
bounded from her bed1 seized the tongs  
and threw the coal back into the        
fireplace4 ,the nurse1 the doctor1 the  
relations rushed to her assistance2 they
 took the dying woman in their arms4    
,they put her back in bed2 she laid her 
head upon her pillow and after a few    
minutes died1 keeping her eyes fixed    
even after her death upon that plank in 
the floor which the burning brand had   
touched4 ,scarcely had the ,countess    
,van ,ostroem expired when the three    
co-heirs exchanged looks of suspicion1  
and thinking no more about their aunt1  
began to examine the mysterious floor4  
,as they were ,belgians their           
calculations were as rapid as their     
glances4 ,an agreement was made by three
 words uttered in a low voice that none 

of them should leave the chamber4 ,a    
servant was sent to fetch a carpenter4  
,their collateral hearts beat excitedly 
as they gathered round the treasured    
flooring1 and watched their young       
apprentice giving the first blow with   
his chisel4 ,the plank was cut through4 
,my aunt made a sign1 said the youngest 
of the heirs4  ,no2 it was merely the   
quivering light that made it appear so1 
replied the eldest1 who kept one eye on 
the treasure and the other on the       
corpse4  ,the afflicted relations       
discovered exactly on the spot where the
 brand had fallen a certain object      
artistically enveloped in a mass of     
plaster4  ,proceed1 said the eldest of  
the heirs4  ,the chisel of the          
apprentice then brought to light a human
 head and some odds and ends of         
clothing1 from which they recognized the
 count whom all the town believed to    
have died at ,java1 and whose loss had  
been bitterly deplored by his wife4     
,the narrator of this old story was a   

tall spare man1 with light eyes and     
brown hair1 and the author thought he   
saw in him a vague resemblance to the   
demon who had before this tormented him2
 but the stranger did not show the      
cloven foot4 ,suddenly the word         
,,adultery sounded in the ears of the   
author2 and this word woke up in his    
imagination the most mournful           
countenances of that procession which   
before this had streamed by on the      
utterance of the magic syllables4 ,from 
that evening he was haunted and         
persecuted by dreams of a work which did
 not yet exist2 and at no period of his 
life was the author assailed with such  
delusive notions about the fatal subject
 of this book4 ,but he bravely resisted 
the fiend1 although the latter referred 
the most unimportant incidents of life  
to this unknown work1 and like a        
customhouse officer set his stamp of    
mockery upon every occurrence4  ,some   
days afterwards the author found himself
 in the company of two ladies4 ,the     

first of them had been one of the most  
refined and the most intellectual women 
of ,napoleon's court4 ,in his day she   
occupied a lofty position1 but the      
sudden appearance of the ,restoration   
caused her downfall2 she became a       
recluse4 ,the second1 who was young and 
beautiful1 was at that time living at   
,paris the life of a fashionable woman4 
,they were friends1 because1 the one    
being forty and the other twenty-two    
years old1 they were seldom rivals on   
the same field4 ,the author was         
considered quite insignificant by the   
first of the two ladies1 and since the  
other soon discovered this1 they carried
 on in his presence the conversation    
which they had begun in a frank         
discussion of a woman's lot4  ,have you 
noticed1 dear1 that women in general    
bestow their love only upon a fool8     
,what do you mean by that1 duchess8 ,and
 how can you make your remark fit in    
with the fact that they have an aversion
 for their husbands8  ,these women are  

absolute tyrants6 said the author to    
himself4 ,has the devil again turned up 
in a mob cap8  ,no1 dear1 ,i am not     
joking1 replied the duchess1 and ,i     
shudder with fear for myself when ,i    
coolly consider people whom ,i have     
known in other times4 ,wit always has a 
sparkle which wounds us1 and the man who
 has much of it makes us fear him       
perhaps1 and if he is a proud man he    
will be capable of jealousy1 and is not 
therefore to our taste4 ,in fact1 we    
prefer to raise a man to our own height 
rather than to have to climb up to his4 
,talent has great successes for us to   
share in1 but the fool affords enjoyment
 to us2 and we would sooner hear said   
'that is a very handsome man' than to   
see our lover elected to the ,institute4
  ,that's enough1 duchess6 ,you have    
absolutely startled me4  ,and the young 
coquette began to describe the lovers   
about whom all the women of her         
acquaintance raved2 there was not a     
single man of intellect among them4     

,but ,i swear by my virtue1 she said1   
their husbands are worth more4  ,but    
these are the sort of people they choose
 for husbands1 the duchess answered     
gravely4  ,tell me1 asked the author1 is
 the disaster which threatens the       
husband in ,france quite inevitable8    
,it is1 replied the duchess1 with a     
smile2 and the rage which certain women 
breathe out against those of their sex1 
whose unfortunate happiness it is to    
entertain a passion1 proves what a      
burden to them is their chastity4 ,if it
 were not for fear of the devil1 one    
would be ,lais2 another owes her virtue 
to the dryness of her selfish heart2 a  
third to the silly behaviour of her     
first lover2 another still--  ,the      
author checked this outpour of          
revelation by confiding to the two      
ladies his design for the work with     
which he had been haunted2 they smiled  
and promised him their assistance4 ,the 
youngest1 with an air of gaiety         
suggested one of the first chapters of  

the undertaking1 by saying that she     
would take upon herself to prove        
mathematically that women who are       
entirely virtuous were creatures of     
reason4  ,when the author got home he   
said at once to his demon3  ,come6 ,i am
 ready2 let us sign the compact4  ,but  
the demon never returned4  ,if the      
author has written here the biography of
 his book he has not acted on the       
prompting of fatuity4 ,he relates facts 
which may furnish material for the      
history of human thought1 and will      
without doubt explain the work itself4  
,it may perhaps be important to certain 
anatomists of thought to be told that   
the soul is feminine4 ,thus although the
 author made a resolution not to think  
about the book which he was forced to   
write1 the book1 nevertheless1 was      
completed4 ,one page of it was found on 
the bed of a sick man1 another on the   
sofa of a boudoir4 ,the glances of women
 when they turned in the mazes of a     
waltz flung to him some thoughts2 a     

gesture or a word filled his disdainful 
brain with others4 ,on the day when he  
said to himself1 ,this work1 which      
haunts me1 shall be achieved1 everything
 vanished2 and like the three ,belgians1
 he drew forth a skeleton from the place
 over which he had bent to seize a      
treasure4  ,a mild1 pale countenance    
took the place of the demon who had     
tempted me2 it wore an engaging         
expression of kindliness2 there were no 
sharp pointed arrows of criticism in its
 lineaments4 ,it seemed to deal more    
with words than with ideas1 and shrank  
from noise and clamor4 ,it was perhaps  
the household genius of the honorable   
deputies who sit in the centre of the   
,chamber4  ,wouldn't it be better1 it   
said1 to let things be as they are8 ,are
 things so bad8 ,we ought to believe in 
marriage as we believe in the           
immortality of the soul2 and you are    
certainly not making a book to advertise
 the happiness of marriage4 ,you will   
surely conclude that among a million of 

,parisian homes happiness is the        
exception4 ,you will find perhaps that  
there are many husbands disposed to     
abandon their wives to you2 but there is
 not a single son who will abandon his  
mother4 ,certain people who are hit by  
the views which you put forth will      
suspect your morals and will            
misrepresent your intentions4 ,in a     
word1 in order to handle social sores1  
one ought to be a king1 or a first      
consul at least4  ,reason1 although it  
appeared under a form most pleasing to  
the author1 was not listened to2 for in 
the distance ,folly tossed the coxcomb  
of ,panurge1 and the author wished to   
seize it2 but1 when he tried to catch   
it1 he found that it was as heavy as the
 club of ,hercules4 ,moreover1 the cure 
of ,meudon adorned it in such fashion   
that a young man who was less pleased   
with producing a good work than with    
wearing fine gloves could not even touch
 it4  ,is our work completed8 asked the 
younger of the two feminine assistants  

of the author4  ,alas6 madame1 ,i said1 
will you ever requite me for all the    
hatreds which that work will array      
against me8  ,she waved her hand1 and   
then the author replied to her doubt by 
a look of indifference4  ,what do you   
mean8 ,would you hesitate8 ,you must    
publish it without fear4 ,in the present
 day we accept a book more because it is
 in fashion than because it has anything
 in it4  ,although the author does not  
here represent himself as anything more 
than the secretary of two ladies1 he has
 in compiling their observations        
accomplished a double task4 ,with regard
 to marriage he has here arranged       
matters which represent what everybody  
thinks but no one dares to say2 but has 
he not also exposed himself to public   
displeasure by expressing the mind of   
the public8 ,perhaps1 however1 the      
eclecticism of the present essay will   
save it from condemnation4 ,all the     
while that he indulges in banter the    
author has attempted to popularize      

certain ideas which are particularly    
consoling4 ,he has almost always        
endeavored to lay bare the hidden       
springs which move the human soul4      
,while undertaking to defend the most   
material interests of man1 judging them 
or condemning them1 he will perhaps     
bring to light many sources of          
intellectual delight4 ,but the author   
does not foolishly claim always to put  
forth his pleasantries in the best of   
taste2 he has merely counted upon the   
diversity of intellectual pursuits in   
expectation of receiving as much blame  
as approbation4 ,the subject of his work
 was so serious that he is constantly   
launched into anecdote2 because at the  
present day anecdotes are the vehicle of
 all moral teaching1 and the            
anti-narcotic of every work of          
literature4 ,in literature1 analysis and
 investigation prevail1 and the wearying
 of the reader increases in proportion  
with the egotism of the writer4 ,this is
 one of the greatest misfortunes that   

can befall a book1 and the present      
author has been quite aware of it4 ,he  
has therefore so arranged the topics of 
this long essay as to afford resting    
places for the reader4 ,this method has 
been successfully adopted by a writer1  
who produced on the subject of ,taste a 
work somewhat parallel to that which is 
here put forth on the subject of        
,marriage4 ,from the former the present 
writer may be permitted to borrow a few 
words in order to express a thought     
which he shares with the author of them4
 ,this quotation will serve as an       
expression of homage to his predecessor1
 whose success has been so swiftly      
followed by his death3  ,when ,i write  
and speak of myself in the singular1    
this implies a confidential talk with   
the reader2 he can examine the          
statement1 discuss it1 doubt and even   
ridicule it2 but when ,i arm myself with
 the formidable ,,we1 ,i become the     
professor and demand submission4--      
,brillat-,savarin1 ,preface to the      

,physiology of ,taste4  ,,december #e1  
#ahbi4    ,,first ,,part4  ,a ,,general 
,,consideration4  ,we will declaim      
against stupid laws until they are      
changed1 and in the meantime blindly    
submit to them4--,diderot1 ,supplement  
to the ,voyage of ,bougainville4        
,,meditation ,i4                        
,,the ,,subject4  ,physiology1 what must
 ,i consider your meaning8  ,is not your
 object to prove that marriage unites   
for life two beings who do not know each
 other8  ,that life consists in passion1
 and that no passion survives marriage8 
,that marriage is an institution        
necessary for the preservation of       
society1 but that it is contrary to the 
laws of nature8  ,that divorce1 this    
admirable release from the misfortunes  
of marriage1 should with one voice be   
reinstated8  ,that1 in spite of all its 
inconveniences1 marriage is the         
foundation on which property is based8  
,that it furnishes invaluable pledges   
for the security of government8  ,that  

there is something touching in the      
association of two human beings for the 
purpose of supporting the pains of life8
  ,that there is something ridiculous in
 the wish that one and the same thoughts
 should control two wills8  ,that the   
wife is treated as a slave8  ,that there
 has never been a marriage entirely     
happy8  ,that marriage is filled with   
crimes and that the known murders are   
not the worst8  ,that fidelity is       
impossible1 at least to the man8  ,that 
an investigation if it could be         
undertaken would prove that in the      
transmission of patrimonial property    
there was more risk than security8      
,that adultery does more harm than      
marriage does good8  ,that infidelity in
 a woman may be traced back to the      
earliest ages of society1 and that      
marriage still survives this            
perpetuation of treachery8  ,that the   
laws of love so strongly link together  
two human beings that no human law can  
put them asunder8  ,that while there are

 marriages recorded on the public       
registers1 there are others over which  
nature herself has presided1 and they   
have been dictated either by the mutual 
memory of thought1 or by an utter       
difference of mental disposition1 or by 
corporeal affinity in the parties named2
 that it is thus that heaven and earth  
are constantly at variance8  ,that there
 are many husbands fine in figure and of
 superior intellect whose wives have    
lovers exceedingly ugly1 insignificant  
in appearance or stupid in mind8  ,all  
these questions furnish material for    
books2 but the books have been written  
and the questions are constantly        
reappearing4  ,physiology1 what must ,i 
take you to mean8  ,do you reveal new   
principles8 ,would you pretend that it  
is the right thing that woman should be 
made common8 ,lycurgus and certain      
,greek peoples as well as ,tartars and  
savages have tried this4  ,can it       
possibly be right to confine women8 ,the
 ,ottomans once did so1 and nowadays    

they give them their liberty4  ,would it
 be right to marry young women without  
providing a dowry and yet exclude them  
from the right of succeeding to         
property8 ,some ,english authors and    
some moralists have proved that this    
with the admission of divorce is the    
surest method of rendering marriage     
happy4  ,should there be a little ,hagar
 in each marriage establishment8 ,there 
is no need to pass a law for that4 ,the 
provision of the code which makes an    
unfaithful wife liable to a penalty in  
whatever place the crime be committed1  
and that other article which does not   
punish the erring husband unless his    
concubine dwells beneath the conjugal   
roof1 implicitly admits the existence of
 mistresses in the city4  ,sanchez has  
written a dissertation on the penal     
cases incident to marriage2 he has even 
argued on the illegitimacy and the      
opportuneness of each form of           
indulgence2 he has outlined all the     
duties1 moral1 religious and corporeal1 

of the married couple2 in short his work
 would form twelve volumes in octavo if 
the huge folio entitled ,de ,matrimonio 
were thus represented4  ,clouds of      
lawyers have flung clouds of treatises  
over the legal difficulties which are   
born of marriage4 ,there exist several  
works on the judicial investigation of  
impotency4  ,legions of doctors have    
marshaled their legions of books on the 
subject of marriage in its relation to  
medicine and surgery4  ,in the          
nineteenth century the ,physiology of   
,marriage is either an insignificant    
compilation or the work of a fool       
written for other fools2 old priests    
have taken their balances of gold and   
have weighed the most trifling scruples 
of the marriage consciences2 old lawyers
 have put on their spectacles and have  
distinguished between every kind of     
married transgression2 old doctors have 
seized the scalpel and drawn it over all
 the wounds of the subject2 old judges  
have mounted to the bench and have      

decided all the cases of marriage       
dissolution2 whole generations have     
passed unuttered cries of joy or of     
grief on the subject1 each age has cast 
its vote into the urn2 the ,holy        
,spirit1 poets and writers have         
recounted everything from the days of   
,eve to the ,trojan war1 from ,helen to 
,madame de ,maintenon1 from the mistress
 of ,louis ,,xiv to the woman of their  
own day4  ,physiology1 what must ,i     
consider your meaning8  ,shall ,i say   
that you intend to publish pictures more
 or less skillfully drawn1 for the      
purpose of convincing us that a man     
marries3  ,from ambition--that is well  
known2  ,from kindness1 in order to     
deliver a girl from the tyranny of her  
mother2  ,from rage1 in order to        
disinherit his relations2  ,from scorn  
of a faithless mistress2  ,from         
weariness of a pleasant bachelor life2  
,from folly1 for each man always commits
 one2  ,in consequence of a wager1 which
 was the case with ,lord ,byron2  ,from 

interest1 which is almost always the    
case2  ,from youthfulness on leaving    
college1 like a blockhead2  ,from       
ugliness1--fear of some day failing to  
secure a wife2  ,through ,machiavelism1 
in order to be the heir of some old     
woman at an early date2  ,from          
necessity1 in order to secure the       
standing to our son2  ,from obligation1 
the damsel having shown herself weak2   
,from passion1 in order to become more  
surely cured of it2  ,on account of a   
quarrel1 in order to put an end to a    
lawsuit2  ,from gratitude1 by which he  
gives more than he has received2  ,from 
goodness1 which is the fate of          
doctrinaires2  ,from the condition of a 
will when a dead uncle attaches his     
legacy to some girl1 marriage with whom 
is the condition of succession2  ,from  
custom1 in imitation of his ancestors2  
,from old age1 in order to make an end  
of life2  ,from yatidi1 that is the hour
 of going to bed and signifies amongst  
the ,turks all bodily needs2  ,from     

religious zeal1 like the ,duke of       
,saint-,aignan1 who did not wish to     
commit sin899  99 ,the foregoing queries
 came in 7untranslatable7 alphabetic    
order in     the original4--,editor     
,but these incidents of marriage have   
furnished matter for thirty thousand    
comedies and a hundred thousand         
romances4  ,physiology1 for the third   
and last time ,i ask you--,what is your 
meaning8  ,so far everything is         
commonplace as the pavement of the      
street1 familiar as a crossway4         
,marriage is better known than the      
,barabbas of the ,passion4 ,all the     
ancient ideas which it calls to light   
permeate literature since the world is  
the world1 and there is not a single    
opinion which might serve to the        
advantage of the world1 nor a ridiculous
 project which could not find an author 
to write it up1 a printer to print it1 a
 bookseller to sell it and a reader to  
read it4  ,allow me to say to you like  
,rabelais1 who is in every sense our    

master3  ,gentlemen1 ,god save and guard
 you6 ,where are you8 ,i cannot see you2
 wait until ,i put on my spectacles4    
,ah6 ,i see you now2 you1 your wives1   
your children4 ,are you in good health8 
,i am glad to hear it4  ,but it is not  
for you that ,i am writing4 ,since you  
have grown-up children that ends the    
matter4  ,ah6 it is you1 illustrious    
tipplers1 pampered and gouty1 and you1  
tireless pie-cutters1 favorites who come
 dear2 day-long pantagruellists who keep
 your private birds1 gay and gallant1   
and who go to tierce1 to sexts1 to      
nones1 and also to vespers and compline 
and never tire of going4  ,it is not for
 you that the ,physiology of ,marriage  
is addressed1 for you are not married   
and may you never be married4 ,you herd 
of bigots1 snails1 hypocrites1 dotards1 
lechers1 booted for pilgrimage to ,rome1
 disguised and marked1 as it were1 to   
deceive the world4 ,go back1 you        
scoundrels1 out of my sight6 ,gallows   
birds are ye all--now in the devil's    

name will you not begone8 ,there are    
none left now but the good souls who    
love to laugh2 not the snivelers who    
burst into tears in prose or verse1     
whatever their subject be1 who make     
people sick with their odes1 their      
sonnets1 their meditation2 none of these
 dreamers1 but certain old-fashioned    
pantagruellists who don't think twice   
about it when they are invited to join a
 banquet or provoked to make a repartee1
 who can take pleasure in a book like   
,pease and the ,lard with commentary of 
,rabelais1 or in the one entitled ,the  
,dignity of ,breeches1 and who esteem   
highly the fair books of high degree1 a 
quarry hard to run down and redoubtable 
to wrestle with4  ,it no longer does to 
laugh at a government1 my friend1 since 
it has invented means to raise fifteen  
hundred millions by taxation4 ,high     
ecclesiastics1 monks and nuns are no    
longer so rich that we can drink with   
them2 but let ,st4 ,michael come1 he who
 chased the devil from heaven1 and we   

shall perhaps see the good time come    
back again6 ,there is only one thing in 
,france at the present moment which     
remains a laughing matter1 and that is  
marriage4 ,disciples of ,panurge1 ye are
 the only readers ,i desire4 ,you know  
how seasonably to take up and lay down a
 book1 how to get the most pleasure out 
of it1 to understand the hint in a half 
word--how to suck nourishment from a    
marrow-bone4  ,the men of the microscope
 who see nothing but a speck1 the       
census-mongers--have they reviewed the  
whole matter8 ,have they pronounced     
without appeal that it is as impossible 
to write a book on marriage as to make  
new again a broken pot8  ,yes1 master   
fool4 ,if you begin to squeeze the      
marriage question you squirt out nothing
 but fun for the bachelors and weariness
 for the married men4 ,it is everlasting
 morality4 ,a million printed pages     
would have no other matter in them4  ,in
 spite of this1 here is my first        
proposition3 marriage is a fight to the 

death1 before which the wedded couple   
ask a blessing from heaven1 because it  
is the rashest of all undertakings to   
swear eternal love2 the fight at once   
commences and victory1 that is to say   
liberty1 remains in the hands of the    
cleverer of the two4  ,undoubtedly4 ,but
 do you see in this a fresh idea8       
,well1 ,i address myself to the married 
men of yesterday and of to-day2 to those
 who on leaving the ,church or the      
registration office indulge the hope of 
keeping their wives for themselves      
alone2 to those whom some form or other 
of egotism or some indefinable sentiment
 induces to say when they see the       
marital troubles of another1 ,this will 
never happen to me4  ,i address myself  
to those sailors who after witnessing   
the foundering of other ships still put 
to sea2 to those bachelors who after    
witnessing the shipwreck of virtue in a 
marriage of another venture upon        
wedlock4 ,and this is my subject1       
eternally now1 yet eternally old6  ,a   

young man1 or it may be an old one1 in  
love or not in love1 has obtained       
possession by a contract duly recorded  
at the registration office in heaven and
 on the rolls of the nation1 of a young 
girl with long hair1 with black liquid  
eyes1 with small feet1 with dainty      
tapering fingers1 with red lips1 with   
teeth of ivory1 finely formed1 trembling
 with life1 tempting and plump1 white as
 a lily1 loaded with the most charming  
wealth of beauty4 ,her drooping         
eyelashes seem like the points of the   
iron crown2 her skin1 which is as fresh 
as the calyx of a white camelia1 is     
streaked with the purple of the red     
camelia2 over her virginal complexion   
one seems to see the bloom of young     
fruit and the delicate down of a young  
peach2 the azure veins spread a kindling
 warmth over this transparent surface2  
she asks for life and she gives it2 she 
is all joy and love1 all tenderness and 
candor2 she loves her husband1 or at    
least believes she loves him4  ,the     

husband who is in love says in the      
bottom of his heart3 ,those eyes will   
see no one but me1 that mouth will      
tremble with love for me alone1 that    
gentle hand will lavish the caressing   
treasures of delight on me alone1 that  
bosom will heave at no voice but mine1  
that slumbering soul will awake at my   
will alone2 ,i only will entangle my    
fingers in those shining tresses2 ,i    
alone will indulge myself in dreamily   
caressing that sensitive head4 ,i will  
make death the guardian of my pillow if 
only ,i may ward off from the nuptial   
couch the stranger who would violate it2
 that throne of love shall swim in the  
blood of the rash or of my own4         
,tranquillity1 honor1 happiness1 the    
ties of home1 the fortune of my         
children1 all are at stake there2 ,i    
would defend them as a lioness defends  
her cubs4 ,woe unto him who shall set   
foot in my lair6  ,well now1 courageous 
athlete1 we applaud your intention4 ,up 
to the present moment no geographer has 

ventured to trace the lines of longitude
 and latitude in the ocean of marriage4 
,old husbands have been ashamed to point
 out the sand banks1 the reefs1 the     
shallows1 the breakers1 the monsoons1   
the coasts and currents which have      
wrecked their ships1 for their          
shipwrecks brought them shame4 ,there   
was no pilot1 no compass for those      
pilgrims of marriage4 ,this work is     
intended to supply the desideratum4     
,without mentioning grocers and drapers1
 there are so many people occupied in   
discovering the secret motives of women1
 that it is really a work of charity to 
classify for them1 by chapter and verse1
 all the secret situations of marriage2 
a good table of contents will enable    
them to put their finger on each        
movement of their wives' heart1 as a    
table of logarithms tells them the      
product of a given multiplication4  ,and
 now what do you think about that8 ,is  
not this a novel undertaking1 and one   
which no philosopher has as yet         

approached1 ,i mean this attempt to show
 how a woman may be prevented from      
deceiving her husband8 ,is not this the 
comedy of comedies8 ,is it not a second 
speculum vitae humanae4 ,we are not now 
dealing with the abstract questions     
which we have done justice to already in
 this ,meditation4 ,at the present day  
in ethics as in exact science1 the world
 asks for facts for the results of      
observation4 ,these we shall furnish4   
,let us begin then by examining the true
 condition of things1 by analyzing the  
forces which exist on either side4      
,before arming our imaginary champion   
let us reckon up the number of his      
enemies4 ,let us count the ,cossacks who
 intend to invade his little domain4    
,all who wish may embark with us on this
 voyage1 all who can may laugh4 ,weigh  
anchor2 hoist sail6 ,you know exactly   
the point from which you start4 ,you    
have this advantage over a great many   
books that are written4  ,as for our    
fancy of laughing while we weep1 and of 

weeping while we laugh1 as the divine   
,rabelais drank while he ate and ate    
while he drank2 as for our humor1 to put
 ,heraclitus and ,democritus on the same
 page and to discard style or           
premeditated phrase--if any of the crew 
mutiny1 overboard with the doting       
cranks1 the infamous classicists1 the   
dead and buried romanticists1 and steer 
for the blue water6  ,everybody perhaps 
will jeeringly remark that we are like  
those who say with smiling faces1 ,i am 
going to tell you a story that will make
 you laugh6 ,but it is the proper thing 
to joke when speaking of marriage6 ,in  
short1 can you not understand that we   
consider marriage as a trifling ailment 
to which all of us are subject and upon 
which this volume is a monograph8  ,but 
you1 your bark or your work starts off  
like those postilions who crack their   
whips because their passengers are      
,english4 ,you will not have galloped at
 full speed for half a league before you
 dismount to mend a trace or to breathe 

your horses4 ,what is the good of       
blowing the trumpet before victory8     
,ah6 my dear pantagruellists1 nowadays  
to claim success is to obtain it1 and   
since1 after all1 great works are only  
due to the expansion of little ideas1 ,i
 do not see why ,i should not pluck the 
laurels1 if only for the purpose of     
crowning those dirty bacon faces who    
join us in swallowing a dram4 ,one      
moment1 pilot1 let us not start without 
making one little definition4  ,reader1 
if from time to time you meet in this   
work the terms virtue or virtuous1 let  
us understand that virtue means a       
certain labored facility by which a wife
 keeps her heart for her husband2 at any
 rate1 that the word is not used in a   
general sense1 and ,i leave this        
distinction to the natural sagacity of  
all4                                    
,,meditation ,,ii4                      
,,marriage ,,statistics4  ,the          
administration has been occupied for    
nearly twenty years in reckoning how    

many acres of woodland1 meadow1 vineyard
 and fallow are comprised in the area of
 ,france4 ,it has not stopped there1 but
 has also tried to learn the number and 
species of the animals to be found      
there4 ,scientific men have gone still  
further2 they have reckoned up the cords
 of wood1 the pounds of beef1 the apples
 and eggs consumed in ,paris4 ,but no   
one has yet undertaken either in the    
name of marital honor or in the interest
 of marriageable people1 or for the     
advantage of morality and the progress  
of human institutions1 to investigate   
the number of honest wives4 ,what6 the  
,french government1 if inquiry is made  
of it1 is able to say how many men it   
has under arms1 how many spies1 how many
 employees1 how many scholars2 but1 when
 it is asked how many virtuous women1 it
 can answer nothing6 ,if the ,king of   
,france took into his head to choose his
 august partner from among his subjects1
 the administration could not even tell 
him the number of white lambs from whom 

he could make his choice4 ,it would be  
obliged to resort to some competition   
which awards the rose of good conduct1  
and that would be a laughable event4    
,were the ancients then our masters in  
political institutions as in morality8  
,history teaches us that ,ahasuerus1    
when he wished to take a wife from among
 the damsels of ,persia1 chose ,esther1 
the most virtuous and the most          
beautiful4 ,his ministers therefore must
 necessarily have discovered some method
 of obtaining the cream of the          
population4 ,unfortunately the ,bible1  
which is so clear on all matrimonial    
questions1 has omitted to give us a rule
 for matrimonial choice4  ,let us try to
 supply this gap in the work of the     
administration by calculating the sum of
 the female sex in ,france4 ,here we    
call the attention of all friends to    
public morality1 and we appoint them    
judges of our method of procedure4 ,we  
shall attempt to be particularly liberal
 in our estimations1 particularly exact 

in our reasoning1 in order that every   
one may accept the result of this       
analysis4  ,the inhabitants of ,france  
are generally reckoned at thirty        
millions4  ,certain naturalists think   
that the number of women exceeds that of
 men2 but as many statisticians are of  
the opposite opinion1 we will make the  
most probable calculation by allowing   
fifteen millions for the women4  ,we    
will begin by cutting down this sum by  
nine millions1 which stands for those   
who seem to have some resemblance to    
women1 but whom we are compelled to     
reject upon serious considerations4     
,let us explain3  ,naturalists consider 
man to be no more than a unique species 
of the order bimana1 established by     
,dumeril in his ,analytic ,zoology1 page
 #af2 and ,bory de ,saint ,vincent      
thinks that the ourang-outang ought to  
be included in the same order if we     
would make the species complete4  ,if   
these zoologists see in us nothing more 
than a mammal with thirty-two vertebrae 

possessing the hyoid bone and more folds
 in the hemispheres of the brain than   
any other animal2 if in their opinion no
 other differences exist in this order  
than those produced by the influence of 
climate1 on which are founded the       
nomenclature of fifteen species whose   
scientific names it is needless to cite1
 the physiologists ought also to have   
the right of making species and         
sub-species in accordance with definite 
degrees of intelligence and definite    
conditions of existence1 oral and       
pecuniary4  ,now the nine millions of   
human creatures which we here refer to  
present at first sight all the          
attributes of the human race2 they have 
the hyoid bone1 the coracoid process1   
the acromion1 the zygomatic arch4 ,it is
 therefore permitted for the gentlemen  
of the ,jardin des ,plantes to classify 
them with the bimana2 but our           
,physiology will never admit that women 
are to be found among them4 ,in our     
view1 and in the view of those for whom 

this book is intended1 a woman is a rare
 variety of the human race1 and her     
principal characteristics are due to the
 special care men have bestowed upon its
 cultivation1--thanks to the power of   
money and the moral fervor of           
civilization6 ,she is generally         
recognized by the whiteness1 the        
fineness and softness of her skin4 ,her 
taste inclines to the most spotless     
cleanliness4 ,her fingers shrink from   
encountering anything but objects which 
are soft1 yielding and scented4 ,like   
the ermine she sometimes dies for grief 
on seeing her white tunic soiled4 ,she  
loves to twine her tresses and to make  
them exhale the most attractive scents2 
to brush her rosy nails1 to trim them to
 an almond shape1 and frequently to     
bathe her delicate limbs4 ,she is not   
satisfied to spend the night excepting  
on the softest down1 and excepting on   
hair-cushioned lounges1 she loves best  
to take a horizontal position4 ,her     
voice is of penetrating sweetness2 her  

movements are full of grace4 ,she speaks
 with marvelous fluency4 ,she does not  
apply herself to any hard work2 and1    
nevertheless1 in spite of her apparent  
weakness1 there are burdens which she   
can bear and move with miraculous ease4 
,she avoids the open sunlight and wards 
it off by ingenious appliances4 ,for her
 to walk is exhausting4 ,does she eat8  
,this is a mystery4 ,has she the needs  
of other species8 ,it is a problem4     
,although she is curious to excess she  
allows herself easily to be caught by   
any one who can conceal from her the    
slightest thing1 and her intellect leads
 her to seek incessantly after the      
unknown4 ,love is her religion2 she     
thinks how to please the one she loves4 
,to be beloved is the end of all her    
actions2 to excite desire is the motive 
of every gesture4 ,she dreams of nothing
 excepting how she may shine1 and moves 
only in a circle filled with grace and  
elegance4 ,it is for her the ,indian    
girl has spun the soft fleece of ,thibet

 goats1 ,tarare weaves its airy veils1  
,brussels sets in motion those shuttles 
which speed the flaxen thread that is   
purest and most fine1 ,bidjapour        
wrenches from the bowels of the earth   
its sparkling pebbles1 and the ,sevres  
gilds its snow-white clay4 ,night and   
day she reflects upon new costumes and  
spends her life in considering dress and
 in plaiting her apparel4 ,she moves    
about exhibiting her brightness and     
freshness to people she does not know1  
but whose homage flatters her1 while the
 desire she excites charms her1 though  
she is indifferent to those who feel it4
 ,during the hours which she spends in  
private1 in pleasure1 and in the care of
 her person1 she amuses herself by      
caroling the sweetest strains4 ,for her 
,france and ,italy ordain delightful    
concerts and ,naples imparts to the     
strings of the violin an harmonious     
soul4 ,this species is in fine at once  
the queen of the world and the slave of 
passion4 ,she dreads marriage because it

 ends by spoiling her figure1 but she   
surrenders herself to it because it     
promises happiness4 ,if she bears       
children it is by pure chance1 and when 
they are grown up she tries to conceal  
them4  ,these characteristics taken at  
random from among a thousand others are 
not found amongst those beings whose    
hands are as black as those of apes and 
their skin tanned like the ancient      
parchments of an olim2 whose complexion 
is burnt brown by the sun and whose neck
 is wrinkled like that of a turkey2 who 
are covered with rags2 whose voice is   
hoarse2 whose intelligence is nil2 who  
think of nothing but the bread box1 and 
who are incessantly bowed in toil       
towards the ground2 who dig2 who harrow2
 who make hay1 glean1 gather in the     
harvest1 knead the bread and strip hemp2
 who1 huddled among domestic beasts1    
infants and men1 dwell in holes and dens
 scarcely covered with thatch2 to whom  
it is of little importance from what    
source children rain down into their    

homes4 ,their work it is to produce many
 and to deliver them to misery and toil1
 and if their love is not like their    
labor in the fields it is at least as   
much a work of chance4  ,alas6 if there 
are throughout the world multitudes of  
trades-women who sit all day long       
between the cradle and the sugar-cask1  
farmers' wives and daughters who milk   
the cows1 unfortunate women who are     
employed like beasts of burden in the   
manufactories1 who all day long carry   
the loaded basket1 the hoe and the      
fish-crate1 if unfortunately there exist
 these common human beings to whom the  
life of the soul1 the benefits of       
education1 the delicious tempests of the
 heart are an unattainable heaven2 and  
if ,nature has decreed that they should 
have coracoid processes and hyoid bones 
and thirty-two vertebrae1 let them      
remain for the physiologist classed with
 the ourang-outang4 ,and here we make no
 stipulations for the leisure class2 for
 those who have the time and the sense  

to fall in love2 for the rich who have  
purchased the right of indulging their  
passions2 for the intellectual who have 
conquered a monopoly of fads4 ,anathema 
on all those who do not live by thought4
 ,we say ,raca and fool to all those who
 are not ardent1 young1 beautiful and   
passionate4 ,this is the public         
expression of that secret sentiment     
entertained by philanthropists who have 
learned to read and can keep their own  
carriage4 ,among the nine millions of   
the proscribed1 the tax-gatherer1 the   
magistrate1 the law-maker and the priest
 doubtless see living souls who are to  
be ruled and made subject to the        
administration of justice4 ,but the man 
of sentiment1 the philosopher of the    
boudoir1 while he eats his fine bread1  
made of corn1 sown and harvested by     
these creatures1 will reject them and   
relegate them1 as we do1 to a place     
outside the genus ,woman4 ,for them1    
there are no women excepting those who  
can inspire love2 and there is no living

 being but the creature invested with   
the priesthood of thought by means of a 
privileged education1 and with whom     
leisure has developed the power of      
imagination2 in other words that only is
 a human being whose soul dreams1 in    
love1 either of intellectual enjoyments 
or of physical delights4  ,we would1    
however1 make the remark that these nine
 million female pariahs produce here and
 there a thousand peasant girls who from
 peculiar circumstances are as fair as  
,cupids2 they come to ,paris or to the  
great cities and end up by attaining the
 rank of femmes comme il faut2 but to   
set off against these two or three      
thousand favored creatures1 there are   
one hundred thousand others who remain  
servants or abandon themselves to       
frightful irregularities4 ,nevertheless1
 we are obliged to count these          
,pompadours of the village among the    
feminine population4  ,our first        
calculation is based upon the           
statistical discovery that in ,france   

there are eighteen millions of the poor1
 ten millions of people in easy         
circumstances and two millions of the   
rich4  ,there exist1 therefore1 in      
,france only six millions of women in   
whom men of sentiment are now           
interested1 have been interested1 or    
will be interested4  ,let us subject    
this social elite to a philosophic      
examination4  ,we think1 without fear of
 being deceived1 that married people who
 have lived twenty years together may   
sleep in peace without fear of having   
their love trespassed upon or of        
incurring the scandal of a lawsuit for  
criminal conversation4  ,from these six 
millions of individuals we must subtract
 about two millions of women who are    
extremely attractive1 because for the   
last forty years they have seen the     
world2 but since they have not the power
 to make any one fall in love with them1
 they are on the outside of the         
discussion now before us4 ,if they are  
unhappy enough to receive no attention  

for the sake of amiability1 they are    
soon seized with ennui2 they fall back  
upon religion1 upon the cultivation of  
pets1 cats1 lap-dogs1 and other fancies 
which are no more offensive than their  
devoutness4  ,the calculations made at  
the ,bureau of ,longitudes concerning   
population authorize us again to        
subtract from the total mentioned two   
millions of young girls1 pretty enough  
to kill2 they are at present in the ,a  
,b ,c of life and innocently play with  
other children1 without dreading that   
these little hobbledehoys1 who now make 
them laugh1 will one day make them weep4
  ,again1 of the two millions of the    
remaining women1 what reasonable man    
would not throw out a hundred thousand  
poor girls1 humpbacked1 plain1          
cross-grained1 rickety1 sickly1 blind1  
crippled in some way1 well educated but 
penniless1 all bound to be spinsters1   
and by no means tempted to violate the  
sacred laws of marriage8  ,nor must we  
retain the one hundred thousand other   

girls who become sisters of ,st4        
,camille1 ,sisters of ,charity1         
monastics1 teachers1 ladies' companions1
 etc4 ,and we must put into this blessed
 company a number of young people       
difficult to estimate1 who are too grown
 up to play with little boys and yet too
 young to sport their wreath of orange  
blossoms4  ,finally1 of the fifteen     
million subjects which remain at the    
bottom of our crucible we must eliminate
 five hundred thousand other            
individuals1 to be reckoned as daughters
 of ,baal1 who subserve the appetites of
 the base4 ,we must even comprise among 
those1 without fear that they will be   
corrupted by their company1 the kept    
women1 the milliners1 the shop girls1   
saleswomen1 actresses1 singers1 the     
girls of the opera1 the ballet-dancers1 
upper servants1 chambermaids1 etc4 ,most
 of these creatures excite the passions 
of many people1 but they would consider 
it immodest to inform a lawyer1 a mayor1
 an ecclesiastic or a laughing world of 

the day and hour when they surrendered  
to a lover4 ,their system1 justly blamed
 by an inquisitive world1 has the       
advantage of laying upon them no        
obligations towards men in general1     
towards the mayor or the magistracy4 ,as
 these women do not violate any oath    
made in public1 they have no connection 
whatever with a work which treats       
exclusively of lawful marriage4  ,some  
one will say that the claims made by    
this essay are very slight1 but its     
limitations make just compensation for  
those which amateurs consider           
excessively padded4 ,if any one1 through
 love for a wealthy dowager1 wishes to  
obtain admittance for her into the      
remaining million1 he must classify her 
under the head of ,sisters of ,charity1 
ballet-dancers1 or hunchbacks2 in fact  
we have not taken more than five hundred
 thousand individuals in forming this   
last class1 because it often happens1 as
 we have seen above1 that the nine      
millions of peasant girls make a large  

accession to it4 ,we have for the same  
reason omitted the working-girl class   
and the hucksters2 the women of these   
two sections are the product of efforts 
made by nine millions of female bimana  
to rise to the higher civilization4 ,but
 for its scrupulous exactitude many     
persons might regard this statistical   
meditation as a mere joke4  ,we have    
felt very much inclined to form a small 
class of a hundred thousand individuals 
as a crowning cabinet of the species1 to
 serve as a place of shelter for women  
who have fallen into a middle estate1   
like widows1 for instance2 but we have  
preferred to estimate in round figures4 
,it would be easy to prove the fairness 
of our analysis3 let one reflection be  
sufficient4  ,the life of a woman is    
divided into three periods1 very        
distinct from each other3 the first     
begins in the cradle and ends on the    
attainment of a marriageable age2 the   
second embraces the time during which a 
woman belongs to marriage2 the third    

opens with the critical period1 the     
ending with which nature closes the     
passions of life4 ,these three spheres  
of existence1 being almost equal in     
duration1 might be employed for the     
classification into equal groups of a   
given number of women4 ,thus in a mass  
of six millions1 omitting fractions1    
there are about two million girls       
between one and eighteen1 two millions  
women between eighteen and forty and two
 millions of old women4 ,the caprices of
 society have divided the two millions  
of marriageable women into three main   
classes1 namely3 those who remain       
spinsters for reasons which we have     
defined2 those whose virtue does not    
reckon in the obtaining of husbands1 and
 the million of women lawfully married1 
with whom we have to deal4  ,you see    
then1 by the exact sifting out of the   
feminine population1 that there exists  
in ,france a little flock of barely a   
million white lambs1 a privileged fold  
into which every wolf is anxious to     

enter4  ,let us put this million of     
women1 already winnowed by our fan1     
through another examination4  ,to arrive
 at the true idea of the degree of      
confidence which a man ought to have in 
his wife1 let us suppose for a moment   
that all wives will deceive their       
husbands4  ,on this hypothesis1 it will 
be proper to cut out about              
one-twentieth1 viz41 young people who   
are newly married and who will be       
faithful to their vows for a certain    
time4  ,another twentieth will be in    
ill-health4 ,this will be to make a very
 modest allowance for human infirmities4
  ,certain passions1 which we are told  
destroy the dominion of the man over the
 heart of his wife1 namely1 aversion1   
grief1 the bearing of children1 will    
account for another twentieth4          
,adultery does not establish itself in  
the heart of a married woman with the   
promptness of a pistol-shot4 ,even when 
sympathy with another rouses feelings on
 first sight1 a struggle always takes   

place1 whose duration discounts the     
total sum of conjugal infidelities4 ,it 
would be an insult to ,french modesty   
not to admit the duration of this       
struggle in a country so naturally      
combative1 without referring to at least
 a twentieth in the total of married    
women2 but then we will suppose that    
there are certain sickly women who      
preserve their lovers while they are    
using soothing draughts1 and that there 
are certain wives whose confinement     
makes sarcastic celibates smile4 ,in    
this way we shall vindicate the modesty 
of those who enter upon the struggle    
from motives of virtue4 ,for the same   
reason we should not venture to believe 
that a woman forsaken by her lover will 
find a new one on the spot2 but this    
discount being much more uncertain than 
the preceding one1 we will estimate it  
at one-fortieth4  ,these several rebates
 will reduce our sum total to eight     
hundred thousand women1 when we come to 
calculate the number of those who are   

likely to violate married faith4 ,who   
would not at the present moment wish to 
retain the persuasion that wives are    
virtuous8 ,are they not the supreme     
flower of the country8 ,are they not all
 blooming creatures1 fascinating the    
world by their beauty1 their youth1     
their life and their love8 ,to believe  
in their virtue is a sort of social     
religion1 for they are the ornament of  
the world1 and form the chief glory of  
,france4  ,it is in the midst of this   
million we are bound to investigate3    
,the number of honest women2  ,the      
number of virtuous women4  ,the work of 
investigating this and of arranging the 
results under two categories requires   
whole meditations1 which may serve as an
 appendix to the present one4           
,,meditation ,,iii4                     
,,of ,,the ,,honest ,,woman4  ,the      
preceding meditation has proved that we 
possess in ,france a floating population
 of one million women reveling in the   
privilege of inspiring those passions   

which a gallant man avows without shame1
 or dissembles with delight4 ,it is then
 among this million of women that we    
must carry our lantern of ,diogenes in  
order to discover the honest women of   
the land4  ,this inquiry suggests       
certain digressions4  ,two young people1
 well dressed1 whose slender figures and
 rounded arms suggest a paver's tool1   
and whose boots are elegantly made1 meet
 one morning on the boulevard1 at the   
end of the ,passage des ,panoramas4     
,what1 is this you8  ,yes1 dear boy2 it 
looks like me1 doesn't it8  ,then they  
laugh1 with more or less intelligence1  
according to the nature of the joke     
which opens the conversation4  ,when    
they have examined each other with the  
sly curiosity of a police officer on the
 lookout for a clew1 when they are quite
 convinced of the newness of each       
other's gloves1 of each other's         
waistcoat and of the taste with which   
their cravats are tied2 when they are   
pretty certain that neither of them is  

down in the world1 they link arms and if
 they start from the ,theater des       
,varietes1 they have not reached        
,frascati's before they have asked each 
other a roundabout question whose free  
translation may be this3  ,whom are you 
living with now8  ,as a general rule she
 is a charming woman4  ,who is the      
infantryman of ,paris into whose ear    
there have not dropped1 like bullets in 
the day of battle1 thousands of words   
uttered by the passer-by1 and who has   
not caught one of those numberless      
sayings which1 according to ,rabelais1  
hang frozen in the air8 ,but the        
majority of men take their way through  
,paris in the same manner as they live  
and eat1 that is1 without thinking about
 it4 ,there are very few skillful       
musicians1 very few practiced           
physiognomists who can recognize the key
 in which these vagrant notes are set1  
the passion that prompts these floating 
words4 ,ah6 to wander over ,paris6 ,what
 an adorable and delightful existence is

 that6 ,to saunter is a science2 it is  
the gastronomy of the eye4 ,to take a   
walk is to vegetate2 to saunter is to   
live4 ,the young and pretty women1 long 
contemplated with ardent eyes1 would be 
much more admissible in claiming a      
salary than the cook who asks for twenty
 sous from the ,limousin whose nose with
 inflated nostrils took in the perfumes 
of beauty4 ,to saunter is to enjoy life2
 it is to indulge the flight of fancy2  
it is to enjoy the sublime pictures of  
misery1 of love1 of joy1 of gracious or 
grotesque physiognomies2 it is to pierce
 with a glance the abysses of a thousand
 existences2 for the young it is to     
desire all1 and to possess all2 for the 
old it is to live the life of the       
youthful1 and to share their passions4  
,now how many answers have not the      
sauntering artists heard to the         
categorical question which is always    
with us8  ,she is thirty-five years old1
 but you would not think she was more   
than twenty6 said an enthusiastic youth 

with sparkling eyes1 who1 freshly       
liberated from college1 would1 like     
,cherubin1 embrace all4  ,zounds6 ,mine 
has dressing-gowns of batiste and       
diamond rings for the evening6 said a   
lawyer's clerk4  ,but she has a box at  
the ,francais6 said an army officer4    
,at any rate1 cried another one1 an     
elderly man who spoke as if he were     
standing on the defence1 she does not   
cost me a sou6 ,in our case --wouldn't  
you like to have the same chance1 my    
respected friend8  ,and he patted his   
companion lightly on the shoulder4  ,oh6
 she loves me6 said another4 ,it seems  
too good to be true2 but she has the    
most stupid of husbands6 ,ah6--,buffon  
has admirably described the animals1 but
 the biped called husband--  ,what a    
pleasant thing for a married man to     
hear6  ,oh6 what an angel you are1 my   
dear6 is the answer to a request        
discreetly whispered into the ear4  ,can
 you tell me her name or point her out  
to me8  ,oh6 no2 she is an honest woman4

  ,when a student is loved by a         
waitress1 he mentions her name with     
pride and takes his friends to lunch at 
her house4 ,if a young man loves a woman
 whose husband is engaged in some trade 
dealing with articles of necessity1 he  
will answer1 blushingly1 ,she is the    
wife of a haberdasher1 of a stationer1  
of a hatter1 of a linen-draper1 of a    
clerk1 etc4  ,but this confession of    
love for an inferior which buds and     
blows in the midst of packages1 loaves  
of sugar1 or flannel waistcoats is      
always accompanied with an exaggerated  
praise of the lady's fortune4 ,the      
husband alone is engaged in the         
business2 he is rich2 he has fine       
furniture4 ,the loved one comes to her  
lover's house2 she wears a cashmere     
shawl2 she owns a country house1 etc4   
,in short1 a young man is never wanting 
in excellent arguments to prove that his
 mistress is very nearly1 if not quite1 
an honest woman4 ,this distinction      
originates in the refinement of our     

manners and has become as indefinite as 
the line which separates bon ton from   
vulgarity4 ,what then is meant by an    
honest woman8  ,on this point the vanity
 of women1 of their lovers1 and even    
that of their husbands1 is so sensitive 
that we had better here settle upon some
 general rules1 which are the result of 
long observation4  ,our one million of  
privileged women represent a multitude  
who are eligible for the glorious title 
of honest women1 but by no means all are
 elected to it4 ,the principles on which
 these elections are based may be found 
in the following axioms3                
,,aphorisms4                            
,i4            ,an honest woman is      
necessarily a married woman4            
,,ii4               ,an honest woman is 
under forty years old4                  
,,iii4    ,a married woman whose favors 
are to be paid for is not an honest     
woman4                                  
,,iv4    ,a married woman who keeps a   
private carriage is an honest woman4    

,v4        ,a woman who does her own    
cooking is not an honest woman4         
,,vi4 ,when a man has made enough to    
yield an income of twenty thousand      
francs1 his wife is an honest woman1    
whatever the business in which his      
fortune was made4                       
,,vii4 ,a woman who says letter of      
change for letter of exchange1 who says 
of a man1 ,he is an elegant gentleman1  
can never be an honest woman1 whatever  
fortune she possesses4                  
,,viii4  ,an honest woman ought to be in
 a financial condition such as forbids  
her lover to think she will ever cost   
him anything4                           
,,ix4  ,a woman who lives on the third  
story of any street excepting the ,rue  
de ,rivoli and the ,rue de ,castiglione 
is not an honest woman4                 
,x4 ,the wife of a banker is always an  
honest woman1 but the woman who sits at 
the cashier's desk cannot be one1 unless
 her husband has a very large business  
and she does not live over his shop4    

,,xi4 ,the unmarried niece of a bishop  
when she lives with him can pass for an 
honest woman1 because if she has an     
intrigue she has to deceive her uncle4  
,,xii4       ,an honest woman is one    
whom her lover fears to compromise4     
,,xiii4            ,the wife of an      
artist is always an honest woman4   ,by 
the application of these principles even
 a man from ,ardeche can resolve all the
 difficulties which our subject         
presents4  ,in order that a woman may be
 able to keep a cook1 may be finely     
educated1 may possess the sentiment of  
coquetry1 may have the right to pass    
whole hours in her boudoir lying on a   
sofa1 and may live a life of soul1 she  
must have at least six thousand francs a
 year if she lives in the country1 and  
twenty thousand if she lives at ,paris4 
,these two financial limits will suggest
 to you how many honest women are to be 
reckoned on in the million1 for they are
 really a mere product of our           
statistical calculations4  ,now three   

hundred thousand independent people1    
with an income of fifteen thousand      
francs1 represent the sum total of those
 who live on pensions1 on annuities and 
the interest of treasury bonds and      
mortgages4  ,three hundred thousand     
landed proprietors enjoy an income of   
three thousand five hundred francs and  
represent all territorial wealth4  ,two 
hundred thousand payees1 at the rate of 
fifteen hundred francs each1 represent  
the distribution of public funds by the 
state budget1 by the budgets of the     
cities and departments1 less the        
national debt1 church funds and         
soldier's pay1 7i4e4 five sous a day    
with allowances for washing1 weapons1   
victuals1 clothes1 etc474  ,two hundred 
thousand fortunes amassed in commerce1  
reckoning the capital at twenty thousand
 francs in each case1 represent all the 
commercial establishments possible in   
,france4  ,here we have a million       
husbands represented4  ,but at what     
figure shall we count those who have an 

income of fifty1 of a hundred1 of two1  
three1 four1 five1 and six hundred      
francs only1 from consols or some other 
investment8  ,how many landed           
proprietors are there who pay taxes     
amounting to no more than a hundred     
sous1 twenty francs1 one hundred francs1
 two hundred1 or two hundred and eighty8
  ,at what number shall we reckon those 
of the governmental leeches1 who are    
merely quill-drivers with a salary of   
six hundred francs a year8  ,how many   
merchants who have nothing but a        
fictitious capital shall we admit8      
,these men are rich in credit and have  
not a single actual sou1 and resemble   
the sieves through which ,pactolus      
flows4 ,and how many brokers whose real 
capital does not amount to more than a  
thousand1 two thousand1 four thousand1  
five thousand francs8 ,business6--my    
respects to you6  ,let us suppose more  
people to be fortunate than actually are
 so4 ,let us divide this million into   
parts2 five hundred thousand domestic   

establishments will have an income      
ranging from a hundred to three thousand
 francs1 and five thousand women will   
fulfill the conditions which entitle    
them to be called honest women4  ,after 
these observations1 which close our     
meditation on statistics1 we are        
entitled to cut out of this number one  
hundred thousand individuals2           
consequently we can consider it to be   
proven mathematically that there exist  
in ,france no more than four hundred    
thousand women who can furnish to men of
 refinement the exquisite and exalted   
enjoyments which they look for in love4 
,and here it is fitting to make a remark
 to the adepts for whom we write1 that  
love does not consist in a series of    
eager conversations1 of nights of       
pleasure1 of an occasional caress more  
or less well-timed and a spark of       
amour-propre baptized by the name of    
jealousy4 ,our four hundred thousand    
women are not of those concerning whom  
it may be said1 ,the most beautiful girl

 in the world can give only what she    
has4 ,no1 they are richly endowed with  
treasures which appeal to our ardent    
imaginations1 they know how to sell dear
 that which they do not possess1 in     
order to compensate for the vulgarity of
 that which they give4  ,do we feel more
 pleasure in kissing the glove of a     
grisette than in draining the five      
minutes of pleasure which all women     
offer to us8  ,is it the conversation of
 a shop-girl which makes you expect     
boundless delights8  ,in your           
intercourse with a woman who is beneath 
you1 the delight of flattered           
amour-propre is on her side4 ,you are   
not in the secret of the happiness which
 you give4  ,in a case of a woman above 
you1 either in fortune or social        
position1 the ticklings of vanity are   
not only intense1 but are equally       
shared4 ,a man can never raise his      
mistress to his own level2 but a woman  
always puts her lover in the position   
that she herself occupies4 ,i can make  

princes and you can make nothing but    
bastards1 is an answer sparkling with   
truth4  ,if love is the first of        
passions1 it is because it flatters all 
the rest of them at the same time4 ,we  
love with more or less intensity in     
proportion to the number of chords which
 are touched by the fingers of a        
beautiful mistress4  ,biren1 the        
jeweler's son1 climbing into the bed of 
the ,duchesse de ,courlande and helping 
her to sign an agreement that he should 
be proclaimed sovereign of the country1 
as he was already of the young and      
beautiful queen1 is an example of the   
happiness which ought to be given to    
their lovers by our four hundred        
thousand women4  ,if a man would have   
the right to make stepping-stones of all
 the heads which crowd a drawing-room1  
he must be the lover of some artistic   
woman of fashion4 ,now we all love more 
or less to be at the top4  ,it is on    
this brilliant section of the nation    
that the attack is made by men whose    

education1 talent or wit gives them the 
right to be considered persons of       
importance with regard to that success  
of which people of every country are so 
proud2 and only among this class of     
women is the wife to be found whose     
heart has to be defended at all hazard  
by our husband4  ,what does it matter   
whether the considerations which arise  
from the existence of a feminine        
aristocracy are or are not equally      
applicable to other social classes8     
,that which is true of all women        
exquisite in manners1 language and      
thought1 in whom exceptional educational
 facilities have developed a taste for  
art and a capacity for feeling1         
comparing and thinking1 who have a high 
sense of propriety and politeness and   
who actually set the fashion in ,french 
manners1 ought to be true also in the   
case of women whatever their nation and 
whatever their condition4 ,the man of   
distinction to whom this book is        
dedicated must of necessity possess a   

certain mental vision1 which makes him  
perceive the various degrees of light   
that fill each class and comprehend the 
exact point in the scale of civilization
 to which each of our remarks is        
severally applicable4  ,would it not be 
then in the highest interests of        
morality1 that we should in the meantime
 try to find out the number of virtuous 
women who are to be found among these   
adorable creatures8 ,is not this a      
question of marito-national importance8 
,,meditation ,,iv4                      
,,of ,,the ,,virtuous ,,woman4  ,the    
question1 perhaps1 is not so much how   
many virtuous women there are1 as what  
possibility there is of an honest woman 
remaining virtuous4  ,in order to throw 
light upon a point so important1 let us 
cast a rapid glance over the male       
population4  ,from among our fifteen    
millions of men we must cut off1 in the 
first place1 the nine millions of bimana
 of thirty-two vertebrae and exclude    
from our physiological analysis all but 

six millions of people4 ,the ,marceaus1 
the ,massenas1 the ,rousseaus1 the      
,diderots and the ,rollins often sprout 
forth suddenly from the social swamp1   
when it is in a condition of            
fermentation2 but1 here we plead guilty 
of deliberate inaccuracy4 ,these errors 
in calculation are likely1 however1 to  
give all their weight to our conclusion 
and to corroborate what we are forced to
 deduce in unveiling the mechanism of   
passion4  ,from the six millions of     
privileged men1 we must exclude three   
millions of old men and children4  ,it  
will be affirmed by some one that this  
subtraction leaves a remainder of four  
millions in the case of women4  ,this   
difference at first sight seems         
singular1 but is easily accounted for4  
,the average age at which women are     
married is twenty years and at forty    
they cease to belong to the world of    
love4  ,now a young bachelor of         
seventeen is apt to make deep cuts with 
his penknife in the parchment of        

contracts1 as the chronicles of scandal 
will tell you4  ,on the other hand1 a   
man at fifty-two is more formidable than
 at any other age4 ,it is at this fair  
epoch of life that he enjoys an         
experience dearly bought1 and probably  
all the fortune that he will ever       
require4 ,the passions by which his     
course is directed being the last under 
whose scourge he will move1 he is       
unpitying and determined1 like the man  
carried away by a current who snatches  
at a green and pliant branch of willow1 
the young nursling of the year4         
,,xiv4     ,physically a man is a man   
much longer than a woman is a woman4    
,with regard to marriage1 the difference
 in duration of the life of love with a 
man and with a woman is fifteen years4  
,this period is equal to three-fourths  
of the time during which the            
infidelities of the woman can bring     
unhappiness to her husband4             
,nevertheless1 the remainder in our     
subtraction from the sum of men only    

differs by a sixth or so from that which
 results in our subtraction from the sum
 of women4  ,great is the modest caution
 of our estimates4 ,as to our arguments1
 they are founded on evidence so widely 
known1 that we have only expounded them 
for the sake of being exact and in order
 to anticipate all criticism4  ,it has1 
therefore1 been proved to the mind of   
every philosopher1 however little       
disposed he may be to forming numerical 
estimates1 that there exists in ,france 
a floating mass of three million men    
between seventeen and fifty-two1 all    
perfectly alive1 well provided with     
teeth1 quite resolved on biting1 in     
fact1 biting and asking nothing better  
than the opportunity of walking strong  
and upright along the way to ,paradise4 
,the above observations entitle us to   
separate from this mass of men a million
 husbands4 ,suppose for an instant that 
these1 being satisfied and always happy1
 like our model husband1 confine        
themselves to conjugal love4  ,our      

remainder of two millions do not require
 five sous to make love4  ,it is quite  
sufficient for a man to have a fine foot
 and a clear eye in order to dismantle  
the portrait of a husband4  ,it is not  
necessary that he should have a handsome
 face nor even a good figure2  ,provided
 that a man appears to be intellectual  
and has a distinguished expression of   
face1 women never look where he comes   
from but where he is going to2  ,the    
charms of youth are the unique equipage 
of love2  ,a coat made by ,brisson1 a   
pair of gloves bought from ,boivin1     
elegant shoes1 for whose payment the    
dealer trembles1 a well-tied cravat are 
sufficient to make a man king of the    
drawing-room2  ,and soldiers--although  
the passion for gold lace and           
aiguillettes has died away--do not      
soldiers form of themselves a           
redoubtable legion of celibates8 ,not to
 mention ,eginhard--for he was a private
 secretary --has not a newspaper        
recently recorded how a ,german princess

 bequeathed her fortune to a simple     
lieutenant of cuirassiers in the        
imperial guard8  ,but the notary of the 
village1 who in the wilds of ,gascony   
does not draw more than thirty-six deeds
 a year1 sends his son to study law at  
,paris2 the hatter wishes his son to be 
a notary1 the lawyer destines his to be 
a judge1 the judge wishes to become a   
minister in order that his sons may be  
peers4 ,at no epoch in the world's      
history has there been so eager a thirst
 for education4 ,to-day it is not       
intellect but cleverness that promenades
 the streets4 ,from every crevice in the
 rocky surface of society brilliant     
flowers burst forth as the spring brings
 them on the walls of a ruin2 even in   
the caverns there droop from the vaulted
 roof faintly colored tufts of green    
vegetation4 ,the sun of education       
permeates all4 ,since this vast         
development of thought1 this even and   
fruitful diffusion of light1 we have    
scarcely any men of superiority1 because

 every single man represents the whole  
education of his age4 ,we are surrounded
 by living encyclopaedias who walk      
about1 think1 act and wish to be        
immortalized4 ,hence the frightful      
catastrophes of climbing ambitions and  
insensate passions4 ,we feel the want of
 other worlds2 there are more hives     
needed to receive the swarms1 and       
especially are we in need of more pretty
 women4  ,but the maladies by which a   
man is afflicted do not nullify the sum 
total of human passion4 ,to our shame be
 it spoken1 a woman is never so much    
attached to us as when we are sick4     
,with this thought1 all the epigrams    
written against the little sex --for it 
is antiquated nowadays to say the fair  
sex--ought to be disarmed of their point
 and changed into madrigals of eulogy6  
,all men ought to consider that the sole
 virtue of a woman is to love and that  
all women are prodigiously virtuous1 and
 at that point to close the book and end
 their meditation4  ,ah6 do you not     

remember that black and gloomy hour when
 lonely and suffering1 making           
accusations against men and especially  
against your friends1 weak1 discouraged1
 and filled with thoughts of death1 your
 head supported by a fevered pillow and 
stretched upon a sheet whose white      
trellis-work of linen was stamped upon  
your skin1 you traced with your eyes the
 green paper which covered the walls of 
your silent chamber8 ,do you recollect1 
,i say1 seeing some one noiselessly open
 your door1 exhibiting her fair young   
face1 framed with rolls of gold1 and a  
bonnet which you had never seen before8 
,she seemed like a star in a stormy     
night1 smiling and stealing towards you 
with an expression in which distress and
 happiness were blended1 and flinging   
herself into your arms6  ,how did you   
manage it8 ,what did you tell your      
husband8 you ask4  ,your husband6--,ah6 
this brings us back again into the      
depths of our subject4                  
,,xv4   ,morally the man is more often  

and longer a man than the woman is a    
women4   ,on the other hand we ought to 
consider that among these two millions  
of celibates there are many unhappy men1
 in whom a profound sense of their      
misery and persistent toil have quenched
 the instinct of love2  ,that they have 
not all passed through college1 that    
there are many artisans among them1 many
 footmen--the ,duke of ,gevres1 an      
extremely plain and short man1 as he    
walked through the park of ,versailles  
saw several lackeys of fine appearance  
and said to his friends1 ,look how these
 fellows are made by us1 and how they   
imitate us--that there are many         
contractors1 many trades people who     
think of nothing but money2 many drudges
 of the shop2  ,that there are men more 
stupid and actually more ugly than ,god 
would have made them2  ,that there are  
those whose character is like a chestnut
 without a kernel2  ,that the clergy are
 generally chaste2  ,that there are men 
so situated in life that they can never 

enter the brilliant sphere in which     
honest women move1 whether for want of a
 coat1 or from their bashfulness1 or    
from the failure of a mahout to         
introduce them4  ,but let us leave to   
each one the task of adding to the      
number of these exceptions in accordance
 with his personal experience--for the  
object of a book is above all things to 
make people think--and let us instantly 
suppress one-half of the sum total and  
admit only that there are one million of
 hearts worthy of paying homage to      
honest women4 ,this number approximately
 includes those who are superior in all 
departments4 ,women love only the       
intellectual1 but justice must be done  
to virtue4  ,as for these amiable       
celibates1 each of them relates a string
 of adventures1 all of which seriously  
compromise honest women4 ,it would be a 
very moderate and reserved computation  
to attribute no more than three         
adventures to each celibate2 but if some
 of them count their adventures by the  

dozen1 there are many more who confine  
themselves to two or three incidents of 
passion and some to a single one in     
their whole life1 so that we have in    
accordance with the statistical method  
taken the average4 ,now if the number of
 celibates be multiplied by the number  
of their excesses in love the result    
will be three millions of adventures2 to
 set against this we have only four     
hundred thousand honest women6  ,if the 
,god of goodness and indulgence who     
hovers over the worlds does not make a  
second washing of the human race1 it is 
doubtless because so little success     
attended the first4  ,here then we have 
a people1 a society which has been      
sifted1 and you see the result6         
,,xvi4  ,manners are the hypocrisy of   
nations1 and hypocrisy is more or less  
perfect4                                
,,xvii4       ,virtue1 perhaps1 is      
nothing more than politeness of soul4   
,physical love is a craving like hunger1
 excepting that man eats all the time1  

and in love his appetite is neither so  
persistent nor so regular as at the     
table4  ,a piece of bread and a carafe  
of water will satisfy the hunger of any 
man2 but our civilization has brought to
 light the science of gastronomy4  ,love
 has its piece of bread1 but it has also
 its science of loving1 that science    
which we call coquetry1 a delightful    
word which the ,french alone possess1   
for that science originated in this     
country4  ,well1 after all1 isn't it    
enough to enrage all husbands when they 
think that man is so endowed with an    
innate desire to change from one food to
 another1 that in some savage countries1
 where travelers have landed1 they have 
found alcoholic drinks and ragouts8     
,hunger is not so violent as love2 but  
the caprices of the soul are more       
numerous1 more bewitching1 more         
exquisite in their intensity than the   
caprices of gastronomy2 but all that the
 poets and the experiences of our own   
life have revealed to us on the subject 

of love1 arms us celibates with a       
terrible power3 we are the lion of the  
,gospel seeking whom we may devour4     
,then1 let every one question his       
conscience on this point1 and search his
 memory if he has ever met a man who    
confined himself to the love of one     
woman only6  ,how1 alas6 are we to      
explain1 while respecting the honor of  
all the peoples1 the problem which      
results from the fact that three        
millions of burning hearts can find no  
more than four hundred thousand women on
 which they can feed8 ,should we        
apportion four celibates for each woman 
and remember that the honest women would
 have already established1 instinctively
 and unconsciously1 a sort of           
understanding between themselves and the
 celibates1 like that which the         
presidents of royal courts have         
initiated1 in order to make their       
partisans in each chamber enter         
successively after a certain number of  
years8  ,that would be a mournful way of

 solving the difficulty6  ,should we    
make the conjecture that certain honest 
women act in dividing up the celibates1 
as the lion in the fable did8 ,what6    
,surely1 in that case1 half at least of 
our altars would become whited          
sepulchres6  ,ought one to suggest for  
the honor of ,french ladies that in the 
time of peace all other countries should
 import into ,france a certain number of
 their honest women1 and that these     
countries should mainly consist of      
,england1 ,germany and ,russia8 ,but the
 ,european nations would in that case   
attempt to balance matters by demanding 
that ,france should export a certain    
number of her pretty women4  ,morality  
and religion suffer so much from such   
calculations as this1 that an honest    
man1 in an attempt to prove the         
innocence of married women1 finds some  
reason to believe that dowagers and     
young people are half of them involved  
in this general corruption1 and are     
liars even more truly than are the      

celibates4  ,but to what conclusion does
 our calculation lead us8 ,think of our 
husbands1 who to the disgrace of morals 
behave almost all of them like celibates
 and glory in petto over their secret   
adventures4  ,why1 then we believe that 
every married man1 who is at all        
attached to his wife from honorable     
motives1 can1 in the words of the elder 
,corneille1 seek a rope and a nail2     
foenum habet in cornu4  ,it is1 however1
 in the bosom of these four hundred     
thousand honest women that we must1     
lantern in hand1 seek for the number of 
the virtuous women in ,france6 ,as a    
matter of fact1 we have by our          
statistics of marriage so far only set  
down the number of those creatures with 
which society has really nothing to do4 
,is it not true that in ,france the     
honest people1 the people comme il faut1
 form a total of scarcely three million 
individuals1 namely1 our one million of 
celibates1 five hundred thousand honest 
women1 five hundred thousand husbands1  

and a million of dowagers1 of infants   
and of young girls8  ,are you then      
astonished at the famous verse of       
,boileau8 ,this verse proves that the   
poet had cleverly fathomed the discovery
 mathematically propounded to you in    
these tiresome meditations and that his 
language is by no means hyperbolical4   
,nevertheless1 virtuous women there     
certainly are3  ,yes1 those who have    
never been tempted and those who die at 
their first child-birth1 assuming that  
their husbands had married them virgins2
  ,yes1 those who are ugly as the       
,kaifakatadary of the ,arabian ,nights2 
,yes1 those whom ,mirabeau calls fairy  
cucumbers and who are composed of atoms 
exactly like those of strawberry and    
water-lily roots4 ,nevertheless1 we need
 not believe that6  ,further1 we        
acknowledge that1 to the credit of our  
age1 we meet1 ever since the revival of 
morality and religion and during our own
 times1 some women1 here and there1 so  
moral1 so religious1 so devoted to their

 duties1 so upright1 so precise1 so     
stiff1 so virtuous1 so--that the devil  
himself dare not even look at them2 they
 are guarded on all sides by rosaries1  
hours of prayer and directors4 ,pshaw6  
,we will not attempt to enumerate the   
women who are virtuous from stupidity1  
for it is acknowledged that in love all 
women have intellect4  ,in conclusion1  
we may remark that it is not impossible 
that there exist in some corner of the  
earth women1 young1 pretty and virtuous1
 whom the world does not suspect4  ,but 
you must not give the name of virtuous  
woman to her who1 in her struggle       
against an involuntary passion1 has     
yielded nothing to her lover whom she   
idolizes4 ,she does injury in the most  
cruel way in which it can possibly be   
done to a loving husband4 ,for what     
remains to him of his wife8 ,a thing    
without name1 a living corpse4 ,in the  
very midst of delight his wife remains  
like the guest who has been warned by   
,borgia that certain meats were         

poisoned2 he felt no hunger1 he ate     
sparingly or pretended to eat4 ,he      
longed for the meat which he had        
abandoned for that provided by the      
terrible cardinal1 and sighed for the   
moment when the feast was over and he   
could leave the table4  ,what is the    
result which these reflections on the   
feminine virtue lead to8 ,here they are2
 but the last two maxims have been given
 us by an eclectic philosopher of the   
eighteenth century4                     
,,xviii4   ,a virtuous woman has in her 
heart one fibre less or one fibre more  
than other women2 she is either stupid  
or sublime4                             
,,xix4       ,the virtue of women is    
perhaps a question of temperament4      
,,xx4 ,the most virtuous women have in  
them something which is never chaste4   
,,xxi4 ,that a man of intellect has     
doubts about his mistress is            
conceivable1            but about his   
wife6--that would be too stupid4        
,,xxii4  ,men would be insufferably     

unhappy if in the presence of women they
 thought the least bit in the world of  
that which they know by heart4   ,the   
number of those rare women who1 like the
 ,virgins of the ,parable1 have kept    
their lamps lighted1 will always appear 
very small in the eyes of the defenders 
of virtue and fine feeling2 but we must 
needs exclude it from the total sum of  
honest women1 and this subtraction1     
consoling as it is1 will increase the   
danger which threatens husbands1 will   
intensify the scandal of their married  
life1 and involve1 more or less1 the    
reputation of all other lawful spouses4 
,what husband will be able to sleep     
peacefully beside his young and         
beautiful wife while he knows that three
 celibates1 at least1 are on the watch2 
that if they have not already encroached
 upon his little property1 they regard  
the bride as their destined prey1 for   
sooner or later she will fall into their
 hands1 either by stratagem1 compulsive 
conquest or free choice8 ,and it is     

impossible that they should fail some   
day or other to obtain victory6  ,what a
 startling conclusion6  ,on this point  
the purist in morality1 the collets     
montes will accuse us perhaps of        
presenting here conclusions which are   
excessively despairing2 they will be    
desirous of putting up a defence1 either
 for the virtuous women or the          
celibates2 but we have in reserve for   
them a final remark4  ,increase the     
number of honest women and diminish the 
number of celibates1 as much as you     
choose1 you will always find that the   
result will be a larger number of       
gallant adventurers than of honest      
women2 you will always find a vast      
multitude driven through social custom  
to commit three sorts of crime4  ,if    
they remain chaste1 their health is     
injured1 while they are the slaves of   
the most painful torture2 they          
disappoint the sublime ends of nature1  
and finally die of consumption1 drinking
 milk on the mountains of ,switzerland6 

,if they yield to legitimate            
temptations1 they either compromise the 
honest women1 and on this point we      
re-enter on the subject of this book1 or
 else they debase themselves by a       
horrible intercourse with the five      
hundred thousand women of whom we spoke 
in the third category of the first      
,meditation1 and in this case1 have     
still considerable chance of visiting   
,switzerland1 drinking milk and dying   
there6  ,have you never been struck1 as 
we have been1 by a certain error of     
organization in our social order1 the   
evidence of which gives a moral         
certainty to our last calculations8     
,the average age at which a man marries 
is thirty years2 the average age at     
which his passions1 his most violent    
desires for genesial delight are        
developed1 is twenty years4 ,now during 
the ten fairest years of his life1      
during the green season in which his    
beauty1 his youth and his wit make him  
more dangerous to husbands than at any  

other epoch of his life1 his finds      
himself without any means of satisfying 
legitimately that irresistible craving  
for love which burns in his whole       
nature4 ,during this time1 representing 
the sixth part of human life1 we are    
obliged to admit that the sixth part or 
less of our total male population and   
the sixth part which is the most        
vigorous is placed in a position which  
is perpetually exhausting for them1 and 
dangerous for society4  ,why don't they 
get married8 cries a religious woman4   
,but what father of good sense would    
wish his son to be married at twenty    
years of age8  ,is not the danger of    
these precocious unions apparent at all8
 ,it would seem as if marriage was a    
state very much at variance with natural
 habitude1 seeing that it requires a    
special ripeness of judgment in those   
who conform to it4 ,all the world knows 
what ,rousseau said3 ,there must always 
be a period of libertinage in life      
either in one state or another4 ,it is  

an evil leaven which sooner or later    
ferments4  ,now what mother of a family 
is there who would expose her daughter  
to the risk of this fermentation when it
 has not yet taken place8  ,on the other
 hand1 what need is there to justify a  
fact under whose domination all         
societies exist8 ,are there not in every
 country1 as we have demonstrated1 a    
vast number of men who live as honestly 
as possible1 without being either       
celibates or married men8  ,cannot these
 men1 the religious women will always   
ask1 abide in continence like the       
priests8  ,certainly1 madame4           
,nevertheless1 we venture to observe    
that the vow of chastity is the most    
startling exception to the natural      
condition of man which society makes    
necessary2 but continence is the great  
point in the priest's profession2 he    
must be chaste1 as the doctor must be   
insensible to physical sufferings1 as   
the notary and the advocate insensible  
to the misery whose wounds are laid bare

 to their eyes1 as the soldier to the   
sight of death which he meets on the    
field of battle4 ,from the fact that the
 requirements of civilization ossify    
certain fibres of the heart and render  
callous certain membranes1 we must not  
necessarily conclude that all men are   
bound to undergo this partial and       
exceptional death of the soul4 ,this    
would be to reduce the human race to a  
condition of atrocious moral suicide4   
,but let it be granted that1 in the     
atmosphere of a drawing-room the most   
,jansenistic in the world1 appears a    
young man of twenty-eight who has       
scrupulously guarded his robe of        
innocence and is as truly virginal as   
the heath-cock which gourmands enjoy4   
,do you not see that the most austere of
 virtuous women would merely pay him a  
sarcastic compliment on his courage2 the
 magistrate1 the strictest that ever    
mounted a bench1 would shake his head   
and smile1 and all the ladies would hide
 themselves1 so that he might not hear  

their laughter8 ,when the heroic and    
exceptional young victim leaves the     
drawing-room1 what a deluge of jokes    
bursts upon his innocent head8 ,what a  
shower of insults6 ,what is held to be  
more shameful in ,france than impotence1
 than coldness1 than the absence of all 
passion1 than simplicity8  ,the only    
king of ,france who would not have      
laughed was perhaps ,louis ,,xiii2 but  
as for his roue of a father1 he would   
perhaps have banished the young man1    
either under the accusation that he was 
no ,frenchman or from a conviction that 
he was setting a dangerous example4     
,strange contradiction6 ,a young man is 
equally blamed if he passes life in     
,holy ,land1 to use an expression of    
bachelor life4 ,could it possibly be for
 the benefit of the honest women that   
the prefects of police1 and mayors of   
all time have ordained that the passions
 of the public shall not manifest       
themselves until nightfall1 and shall   
cease at eleven o'clock in the evening8 

,where do you wish that our mass of     
celibates should sow their wild oats8   
,and who is deceived on this point8 as  
,figaro asks4 ,is it the governments or 
the governed8 ,the social order is like 
the small boys who stop their ears at   
the theatre1 so as not to hear the      
report of the firearms4 ,is society     
afraid to probe its wound or has it     
recognized the fact that evil is        
irremediable and things must be allowed 
to run their course8 ,but there crops up
 here a question of legislation1 for it 
is impossible to escape the material and
 social dilemma created by this balance 
of public virtue in the matter of       
marriage4 ,it is not our business to    
solve this difficulty2 but suppose for a
 moment that society in order to save a 
multitude of families1 women and honest 
girls1 found itself compelled to grant  
to certain licensed hearts the right of 
satisfying the desire of the celibates2 
ought not our laws then to raise up a   
professional body consisting of female  

,decii who devote themselves for the    
republic1 and make a rampart of their   
bodies round the honest families8 ,the  
legislators have been very wrong        
hitherto in disdaining to regulate the  
lot of courtesans4                      
,,xxiii4         ,the courtesan is an   
institution if she is a necessity4      
,this question bristles with so many ifs
 and buts that we will bequeath it for  
solution to our descendants2 it is right
 that we shall leave them something to  
do4 ,moreover1 its discussion is not    
germane to this work2 for in this1 more 
than in any other age1 there is a great 
outburst of sensibility2 at no other    
epoch have there been so many rules of  
conduct1 because never before has it    
been so completely accepted that        
pleasure comes from the heart4 ,now1    
what man of sentiment is there1 what    
celibate is there1 who1 in the presence 
of four hundred thousand young and      
pretty women arrayed in the splendors of
 fortune and the graces of wit1 rich in 

treasures of coquetry1 and lavish in the
 dispensing of happiness1 would wish to 
go--8 ,for shame6  ,let us put forth for
 the benefit of our future legislature  
in clear and brief axioms the result    
arrived at during the last few years4   
,,xxiv4     ,in the social order1       
inevitable abuses are laws of nature1 in
  accordance with which mankind should  
frame their civil and political         
institutes4                             
,,xxv4 ,adultery is like a commercial   
failure1 with this difference1 says     
,chamfort1 that it is the innocent party
 who has been ruined and who bears the  
disgrace4   ,in ,france the laws that   
relate to adultery and those that relate
 to bankruptcy require great            
modifications4 ,are they too indulgent8 
,do they sin on the score of bad        
principles8 ,caveant consules6  ,come   
now1 courageous athlete1 who have taken 
as your task that which is expressed in 
the little apostrophe which our first   
,meditation addresses to people who have

 the charge of a wife1 what are you     
going to say about it8 ,we hope that    
this rapid review of the question does  
not make you tremble1 that you are not  
one of those men whose nervous fluid    
congeals at the sight of a precipice or 
a boa constrictor6 ,well6 my friend1 he 
who owns soil has war and toil4 ,the men
 who want your gold are more numerous   
than those who want your wife4  ,after  
all1 husbands are free to take these    
trifles for arithmetical estimates1 or  
arithmetical estimates for trifles4 ,the
 illusions of life are the best things  
in life2 that which is most respectable 
in life is our futile credulity4 ,do    
there not exist many people whose       
principles are merely prejudices1 and   
who not having the force of character to
 form their own ideas of happiness and  
virtue accept what is ready made for    
them by the hand of legislators8 ,nor do
 we address those ,manfreds who having  
taken off too many garments wish to     
raise all the curtains1 that is1 in     

moments when they are tortured by a sort
 of moral spleen4 ,by them1 however1 the
 question is boldly stated and we know  
the extent of the evil4  ,it remains    
that we should examine the chances and  
changes which each man is likely to meet
 in marriage1 and which may weaken him  
in that struggle from which our champion
 should issue victorious4               
,,meditation ,v4                        
,,of ,,the ,,predestined4  ,predestined 
means destined in advance for happiness 
or unhappiness4 ,theology has seized    
upon this word and employs it in        
relation to the happy2 we give to the   
term a meaning which is unfortunate to  
our elect of which one can say in       
opposition to the ,gospel1 ,many are    
called1 many are chosen4  ,experience   
has demonstrated that there are certain 
classes of men more subject than others 
to certain infirmities2 the ,gascons are
 given to exaggeration and ,parisians to
 vanity4 ,as we see that apoplexy       
attacks people with short necks1 or     

butchers are liable to carbuncle1 as    
gout attacks the rich1 health the poor1 
deafness kings1 paralysis               
administrators1 so it has been remarked 
that certain classes of husbands and    
their wives are more given to           
illegitimate passions4 ,thus they       
forestall the celibates1 they form      
another sort of aristocracy4 ,if any    
reader should be enrolled in one of     
these aristocratic classes he will1 we  
hope1 have sufficient presence of mind1 
he or at least his wife1 instantly to   
call to mind the favorite axiom of      
,lhomond's ,latin ,grammar3 ,no rule    
without exception4 ,a friend of the     
house may even recite the verse--       
,present company always excepted4  ,and 
then every one will have the right to   
believe1 in petto1 that he forms the    
exception4 ,but our duty1 the interest  
which we take in husbands and the keen  
desire which we have to preserve young  
and pretty women from the caprices and  
catastrophes which a lover brings in his

 train1 force us to give notice to      
husbands that they ought to be          
especially on their guard4  ,in this    
recapitulation first are to be reckoned 
the husbands whom business1 position or 
public office calls from their houses   
and detains for a definite time4 ,it is 
these who are the standard-bearers of   
the brotherhood4  ,among them1 we would 
reckon magistrates1 holding office      
during pleasure or for life1 and obliged
 to remain at the ,palace for the       
greater portion of the day2 other       
functionaries sometimes find means to   
leave their office at business hours2   
but a judge or a public prosecutor1     
seated on his cushion of lilies1 is     
bound even to die during the progress of
 the hearing4 ,there is his field of    
battle4  ,it is the same with the       
deputies and peers who discuss the laws1
 of ministers who share the toils of the
 king1 of secretaries who work with the 
ministers1 of soldiers on campaign1 and 
indeed with the corporal of the police  

patrol1 as the letter of ,lafleur1 in   
the ,sentimental ,journey1 plainly      
shows4  ,next to the men who are obliged
 to be absent from home at certain fixed
 hours1 come the men whom vast and      
serious undertakings leave not one      
minute for love-making2 their foreheads 
are always wrinkled with anxiety1 their 
conversation is generally void of       
merriment4  ,at the head of these       
unfortunates we must place the bankers1 
who toil in the acquisition of millions1
 whose heads are so full of calculations
 that the figures burst through their   
skulls and range themselves in columns  
of addition on their foreheads4  ,these 
millionaires1 forgetting most of the    
time the sacred laws of marriage and the
 attention due to the tender flower     
which they have undertaken to cultivate1
 never think of watering it or of       
defending it from the heat and cold4    
,they scarcely recognize the fact that  
the happiness of their spouses is in    
their keeping2 if they ever do remember 

this1 it is at table1 when they see     
seated before them a woman in rich      
array1 or when a coquette1 fearing their
 brutal repulse1 comes1 gracious as     
,venus1 to ask them for cash-- ,oh6 it  
is then1 that they recall1 sometimes    
very vividly1 the rights specified in   
the two hundred and thirteenth article  
of the civil code1 and their wives are  
grateful to them2 but like the heavy    
tariff which the law lays upon foreign  
merchandise1 their wives suffer and pay 
the tribute1 in virtue of the axiom     
which says3 ,there is no pleasure       
without pain4  ,the men of science who  
spend whole months in gnawing at the    
bone of an antediluvian monster1 in     
calculating the laws of nature1 when    
there is an opportunity to peer into her
 secrets1 the ,grecians and ,latinists  
who dine on a thought of ,tacitus1 sup  
on a phrase of ,thucydides1 spend their 
life in brushing the dust from library  
shelves1 in keeping guard over a        
commonplace book1 or a papyrus1 are all 

predestined4 ,so great is their         
abstraction or their ecstasy1 that      
nothing that goes on around them strikes
 their attention4 ,their unhappiness is 
consummated2 in full light of noon they 
scarcely even perceive it4 ,oh happy    
men6 a thousand times happy6 ,example3  
,beauzee1 returning home after session  
at the ,academy1 surprises his wife with
 a ,german4 ,did not ,i tell you1       
madame1 that it was necessary that ,i   
shall go1 cried the stranger4 ,my dear  
sir1 interrupted the academician1 you   
ought to say that ,i should go6  ,then  
there come1 lyre in hand1 certain poets 
whose whole animal strength has left the
 ground floor and mounted to the upper  
story4 ,they know better how to mount   
,pegasus than the beast of old ,peter1  
they rarely marry1 although they are    
accustomed to lavish the fury of their  
passions on some wandering or imaginary 
,chloris4  ,but the men whose noses are 
stained with snuff2  ,but those who1 to 
their misfortune1 have a perpetual cold 

in their head2  ,but the sailors who    
smoke or chew2  ,but those men whose dry
 and bilious temperament makes them     
always look as if they had eaten a sour 
apple2  ,but the men who in private life
 have certain cynical habits1 ridiculous
 fads1 and who always1 in spite of      
everything1 look unwashed2  ,but the    
husbands who have obtained the degrading
 name of hen-pecked2  ,finally the old  
men who marry young girls4  ,all these  
people are par excellence among the     
predestined4  ,there is a final class of
 the predestined whose ill-fortune is   
almost certain1 we mean restless and    
irritable men1 who are inclined to      
meddle and tyrannize1 who have a great  
idea of domestic domination1 who openly 
express their low ideas of women and who
 know no more about life than herrings  
about natural history4 ,when these men  
marry1 their homes have the appearance  
of a wasp whose head a schoolboy has cut
 off1 and who dances here and there on a
 window pane4 ,for this sort of         

predestined the present work is a sealed
 book4 ,we do not write any more for    
those imbeciles1 walking effigies1 who  
are like the statues of a cathedral1    
than for those old machines of ,marly   
which are too weak to fling water over  
the hedges of ,versailles without being 
in danger of sudden collapse4  ,i rarely
 make my observations on the conjugal   
oddities with which the drawing-room is 
usually full1 without recalling vividly 
a sight which ,i once enjoyed in early  
youth3  ,in #ahai ,i was living in a    
thatched cottage situated in the bosom  
of the delightful valley l',isle-,adam4 
,my hermitage neighbored on the park of 
,cassan1 the sweetest of retreats1 the  
most fascinating in aspect1 the most    
attractive as a place to ramble in1 the 
most cool and refreshing in summer1 of  
all places created by luxury and art4   
,this verdant country-seat owes its     
origin to a farmer-general of the good  
old times1 a certain ,bergeret1         
celebrated for his originality2 who     

among other fantastic dandyisms adopted 
the habit of going to the opera1 with   
his hair powdered in gold2 he used to   
light up his park for his own solitary  
delectation and on one occasion ordered 
a sumptuous entertainment there1 in     
which he alone took part4 ,this rustic  
,sardanapalus returned from ,italy so   
passionately charmed with the scenery of
 that beautiful country that1 by a      
sudden freak of enthusiasm1 he spent    
four or five millions in order to       
represent in his park the scenes of     
which he had pictures in his portfolio4 
,the most charming contrasts of foliage1
 the rarest trees1 long valleys1 and    
prospects the most picturesque that     
could be brought from abroad1 ,borromean
 islands floating on clear eddying      
streams like so many rays1 which        
concentrate their various lustres on a  
single point1 on an ,isola ,bella1 from 
which the enchanted eye takes in each   
detail at its leisure1 or on an island  
in the bosom of which is a little house 

concealed under the drooping foliage of 
a century-old ash1 an island fringed    
with irises1 rose-bushes1 and flowers   
which appears like an emerald richly    
set4 ,ah6 one might rove a thousand     
leagues for such a place6 ,the most     
sickly1 the most soured1 the most       
disgusted of our men of genius in ill   
health would die of satiety at the end  
of fifteen days1 overwhelmed with the   
luscious sweetness of fresh life in such
 a spot4  ,the man who was quite        
regardless of the ,eden which he thus   
possessed had neither wife nor children1
 but was attached to a large ape which  
he kept4 ,a graceful turret of wood1    
supported by a sculptured column1 served
 as a dwelling place for this vicious   
animal1 who being kept chained and      
rarely petted by his eccentric master1  
oftener at ,paris than in his country   
home1 had gained a very bad reputation4 
,i recollect seeing him once in the     
presence of certain ladies show almost  
as much insolence as if he had been a   

man4 ,his master was obliged to kill    
him1 so mischievous did he gradually    
become4  ,one morning while ,i was      
sitting under a beautiful tulip tree in 
flower1 occupied in doing nothing but   
inhaling the lovely perfumes which the  
tall poplars kept confined within the   
brilliant enclosure1 enjoying the       
silence of the groves1 listening to the 
murmuring waters and the rustling       
leaves1 admiring the blue gaps outlined 
above my head by clouds of pearly sheen 
and gold1 wandering fancy free in dreams
 of my future1 ,i heard some lout or    
other1 who had arrived the day before   
from ,paris1 playing on a violin with   
the violence of a man who has nothing   
else to do4 ,i would not wish for my    
worst enemy to hear anything so utterly 
in discord with the sublime harmony of  
nature4 ,if the distant notes of        
,roland's ,horn had only filled the air 
with life1 perhaps--but a noisy fiddler 
like this1 who undertakes to bring to   
you the expression of human ideas and   

the phraseology of music6 ,this         
,amphion1 who was walking up and down   
the dining-room1 finished by taking a   
seat on the window-sill1 exactly in     
front of the monkey4 ,perhaps he was    
looking for an audience4 ,suddenly ,i   
saw the animal quietly descend from his 
little dungeon1 stand upon his hind     
feet1 bow his head forward like a       
swimmer and fold his arms over his bosom
 like ,spartacus in chains1 or ,catiline
 listening to ,cicero4 ,the banker1     
summoned by a sweet voice whose silvery 
tone recalled a boudoir not unknown to  
me1 laid his violin on the window-sill  
and made off like a swallow who rejoins 
his companion by a rapid level swoop4   
,the great monkey1 whose chain was      
sufficiently long1 approached the window
 and gravely took in hand the violin4 ,i
 don't know whether you have ever had as
 ,i have the pleasure of seeing a monkey
 try to learn music1 but at the present 
moment1 when ,i laugh much less than ,i 
did in those careless days1 ,i never    

think of that monkey without a smile2   
the semi-man began by grasping the      
instrument with his fist and by sniffing
 at it as if he were tasting the flavor 
of an apple4 ,the snort from his        
nostrils probably produced a dull       
harmonious sound in the sonorous wood   
and then the orang-outang shook his     
head1 turned over the violin1 turned it 
back again1 raised it up in the air1    
lowered it1 held it straight out1 shook 
it1 put it to his ear1 set it down1 and 
picked it up again with a rapidity of   
movement peculiar to these agile        
creatures4 ,he seemed to question the   
dumb wood with faltering sagacity and in
 his gestures there was something       
marvelous as well as infantile4 ,at last
 he undertook with grotesque gestures to
 place the violin under his chin1 while 
in one hand he held the neck2 but like a
 spoiled child he soon wearied of a     
study which required skill not to be    
obtained in a moment and he twitched the
 strings without being able to draw     

forth anything but discordant sounds4   
,he seemed annoyed1 laid the violin on  
the window-sill and snatching up the bow
 he began to push it to and fro with    
violence1 like a mason sawing a block of
 stone4 ,this effort only succeeded in  
wearying his fastidious ears1 and he    
took the bow with both hands and snapped
 it in two on the innocent instrument1  
source of harmony and delight4 ,it      
seemed as if ,i saw before me a         
schoolboy holding under him a companion 
lying face downwards1 while he pommeled 
him with a shower of blows from his     
fist1 as if to punish him for some      
delinquency4 ,the violin being now tried
 and condemned1 the monkey sat down upon
 the fragments of it and amused himself 
with stupid joy in mixing up the yellow 
strings of the broken bow4  ,never since
 that day have ,i been able to look upon
 the home of the predestined without    
comparing the majority of husbands to   
this orang-outang trying to play the    
violin4  ,love is the most melodious of 

all harmonies and the sentiment of love 
is innate4 ,woman is a delightful       
instrument of pleasure1 but it is       
necessary to know its trembling strings1
 to study the position of them1 the     
timid keyboard1 the fingering so        
changeful and capricious which befits   
it4 ,how many monkeys--men1 ,i          
mean--marry without knowing what a woman
 is6 ,how many of the predestined       
proceed with their wives as the ape of  
,cassan did with his violin6 ,they have 
broken the heart which they did not     
understand1 as they might dim and       
disdain the amulet whose secret was     
unknown to them4 ,they are children     
their whole life through1 who leave life
 with empty hands after having talked   
about love1 about pleasure1 about       
licentiousness and virtue as slaves talk
 about liberty4 ,almost all of them     
married with the most profound ignorance
 of women and of love4 ,they commenced  
by breaking in the door of a strange    
house and expected to be welcomed in    

this drawing-room4 ,but the rudest      
artist knows that between him and his   
instrument1 of wood1 or of ivory1 there 
exists a mysterious sort of friendship4 
,he knows by experience that it takes   
years to establish this understanding   
between an inert matter and himself4 ,he
 did not discover1 at the first touch1  
the resources1 the caprices1 the        
deficiencies1 the excellencies of his   
instrument4 ,it did not become a living 
soul for him1 a source of incomparable  
melody until he had studied for a long  
time2 man and instrument did not come to
 understand each other like two friends1
 until both of them had been skillfully 
questioned and tested by frequent       
intercourse4  ,can a man ever learn     
woman and know how to decipher this     
wondrous strain of music1 by remaining  
through life like a seminarian in his   
cell8 ,is it possible that a man who    
makes it his business to think for      
others1 to judge others1 to rule others1
 to steal money from others1 to feed1 to

 heal1 to wound others--that1 in fact1  
any of our predestined1 can spare time  
to study a woman8 ,they sell their time 
for money1 how can they give it away for
 happiness8 ,money is their god4 ,no one
 can serve two masters at the same time4
 ,is not the world1 moreover1 full of   
young women who drag along pale and     
weak1 sickly and suffering8 ,some of    
them are the prey of feverish           
inflammations more or less serious1     
others lie under the cruel tyranny of   
nervous attacks more or less violent4   
,all the husbands of these women belong 
to the class of the ignorant and the    
predestined4 ,they have caused their own
 misfortune and expended as much pains  
in producing it as the husband artist   
would have bestowed in bringing to      
flower the late and delightful blooms of
 pleasure4 ,the time which an ignorant  
man passes to consummate his own ruin is
 precisely that which a man of knowledge
 employs in the education of his        
happiness4                              

,,xxvi4              ,do not begin      
marriage by a violation of law4   ,in   
the preceding meditations we have       
indicated the extent of the evil with   
the reckless audacity of those surgeons1
 who boldly induce the formation of     
false tissues under which a shameful    
wound is concealed4 ,public virtue1     
transferred to the table of our         
amphitheatre1 has lost even its carcass 
under the strokes of the scalpel4 ,lover
 or husband1 have you smiled1 or have   
you trembled at this evil8 ,well1 it is 
with malicious delight that we lay this 
huge social burden on the conscience of 
the predestined4 ,harlequin1 when he    
tried to find out whether his horse     
could be accustomed to go without food1 
was not more ridiculous than the men who
 wish to find happiness in their home   
and yet refuse to cultivate it with all 
the pains which it demands4 ,the errors 
of women are so many indictments of     
egotism1 neglect and worthlessness in   
husbands4  ,yet it is yours1 reader1 it 

pertains to you1 who have often         
condemned in another the crime which you
 yourself commit1 it is yours to hold   
the balance4 ,one of the scales is quite
 loaded1 take care what you are going to
 put in the other4 ,reckon up the number
 of predestined ones who may be found   
among the total number of married       
people1 weigh them1 and you will then   
know where the evil is seated4  ,let us 
try to penetrate more deeply into the   
causes of this conjugal sickliness4     
,the word love1 when applied to the     
reproduction of the species1 is the most
 hateful blasphemy which modern manners 
have taught us to utter4 ,nature1 in    
raising us above the beasts by the      
divine gift of thought1 had rendered us 
very sensitive to bodily sensations1    
emotional sentiment1 cravings of        
appetite and passions4 ,this double     
nature of ours makes of man both an     
animal and a lover4 ,this distinction   
gives the key to the social problem     
which we are considering4  ,marriage may

 be considered in three ways1           
politically1 as well as from a civil and
 moral point of view3 as a law1 as a    
contract and as an institution4 ,as a   
law1 its object is a reproduction of the
 species2 as a contract1 it relates to  
the transmission of property2 as an     
institution1 it is a guarantee which all
 men give and by which all are bound3   
they have father and mother1 and they   
will have children4 ,marriage1          
therefore1 ought to be the object of    
universal respect4 ,society can only    
take into consideration those cardinal  
points1 which1 from a social point of   
view1 dominate the conjugal question4   
,most men have no other views in        
marrying1 than reproduction1 property or
 children2 but neither reproduction nor 
property nor children constitutes       
happiness4 ,the command1 ,increase and  
multiply1 does not imply love4 ,to ask  
of a young girl whom we have seen       
fourteen times in fifteen days1 to give 
you love in the name of law1 the king   

and justice1 is an absurdity worthy of  
the majority of the predestined4  ,love 
is the union between natural craving and
 sentiment2 happiness in marriage       
results in perfect union of soul between
 a married pair4 ,hence it follows that 
in order to be happy a man must feel    
himself bound by certain rules of honor 
and delicacy4 ,after having enjoyed the 
benefit of the social law which         
consecrates the natural craving1 he must
 obey also the secret laws of nature by 
which sentiments unfold themselves4 ,if 
he stakes his happiness on being himself
 loved1 he must himself love sincerely3 
nothing can resist a genuine passion4   
,but to feel this passion is always to  
feel desire4 ,can a man always desire   
his wife8  ,yes4  ,it is as absurd to   
deny that it is possible for a man      
always to love the same woman1 as it    
would be to affirm that some famous     
musician needed several violins in order
 to execute a piece of music or compose 
a charming melody4  ,love is the poetry 

of the senses4 ,it has the destiny of   
all that which is great in man and of   
all that which proceeds from his        
thought4 ,either it is sublime1 or it is
 not4 ,when once it exists1 it exists   
forever and goes on always increasing4  
,this is the love which the ancients    
made the child of heaven and earth4     
,literature revolves round seven        
situations2 music expresses everything  
with seven notes2 painting employs but  
seven colors2 like these three arts1    
love perhaps founds itself on seven     
principles1 but we leave this           
investigation for the next century to   
carry out4  ,if poetry1 music and       
painting have found infinite forms of   
expression1 pleasure should be even more
 diversified4 ,for in the three arts    
which aid us in seeking1 often with     
little success1 truth by means of       
analogy1 the man stands alone with his  
imagination1 while love is the union of 
two bodies and of two souls4 ,if the    
three principal methods upon which we   

rely for the expression of thought      
require preliminary study in those whom 
nature has made poets1 musicians or     
painters1 is it not obvious that1 in    
order1 to be happy1 it is necessary to  
be initiated into the secrets of        
pleasure8 ,all men experience the       
craving for reproduction1 as all feel   
hunger and thirst2 but all are not      
called to be lovers and gastronomists4  
,our present civilization has proved    
that taste is a science1 and it is only 
certain privileged beings who have      
learned how to eat and drink4 ,pleasure 
considered as an art is still waiting   
for its physiologists4 ,as for          
ourselves1 we are contented with        
pointing out that ignorance of the      
principles upon which happiness is      
founded1 is the sole cause of that      
misfortune which is the lot of all the  
predestined4  ,it is with the greatest  
timidity that we venture upon the       
publication of a few aphorisms which may
 give birth to this new art1 as casts   

have created the science of geology2 and
 we offer them for the meditation of    
philosophers1 of young marrying people  
and of the predestined4                 
,,catechism ,,of ,,marriage4            
,,xxvii4                                
,marriage is a science4                 
,,xxviii4 ,a man ought not to marry     
without having studied anatomy1 and     
dissected                          at   
least one woman4                        
,,xxix4            ,the fate of the home
 depends on the first night4            
,,xxx4 ,a woman deprived of her free    
will can never have the credit of making
                              a         
sacrifice4                              
,,xxxi4 ,in love1 putting aside all     
consideration of the soul1 the heart of 
a woman is like a lyre which does not   
reveal its secret1 excepting to him who 
is a skillful player4                   
,,xxxii4 ,independently of any gesture  
of repulsion1 there exists in the soul  
of all women a sentiment which tends1   

sooner or later1 to proscribe all       
pleasure devoid of passionate feeling4  
,,xxxiii4 ,the interest of a husband as 
much as his honor forbids him to indulge
   a pleasure which he has not had the  
skill to make his wife desire4          
,,xxxiv4 ,pleasure being caused by the  
union of sensation and sentiment1 we can
 say without fear of contradiction that 
pleasures are a sort of material ideas4 
,,xxxv4 ,as ideas are capable of        
infinite combination1 it ought to be the
 same                            with   
pleasures4                              
,,xxxvi4 ,in the life of man there are  
no two moments of pleasure exactly      
alike1  any more than there are two     
leaves of identical shape upon the same 
tree4                                   
,,xxxvii4 ,if there are differences     
between one moment of pleasure and      
another1 a              man can always  
be happy with the same woman4           
,,xxxviii4 ,to seize adroitly upon the  
varieties of pleasure1 to develop them1 

to impart to them a new style1 an       
original expression1 constitutes the    
genius of a husband4                    
,,xxxix4 ,between two beings who do not 
love each other this genius is          
licentiousness2 but the caresses over   
which love presides are always pure4    
,,xl4     ,the married woman who is the 
most chaste may be also the most        
voluptuous4                             
,,xli4       ,the most virtuous woman   
can be forward without knowing it4      
,,xlii4 ,when two human beings are      
united by pleasure1 all social          
conventionalities are put aside4 ,this  
situation conceals a reef on which many 
vessels are wrecked4 ,a husband is lost1
 if he once forgets there is a modesty  
which is quite independent of coverings4
 ,conjugal love ought never either to   
put on or to take away the bandage of   
its eyes1 excepting at the due season4  
,,xliii4  ,power does not consist in    
striking with force or with frequency1  
but                           in        

striking true4                          
,,xliv4 ,to call a desire into being1 to
 nourish it1 to develop it1 to bring it 
to full growth1 to excite it1 to satisfy
 it1 is a complete poem of itself4      
,,xlv4 ,the progression of pleasures is 
from the distich to the quatrain1 from  
the quatrain to the sonnet1 from the    
sonnet to the ballad1 from the ballad to
 the ode1 from the ode to the cantata1  
from the cantata to the dithyramb4 ,the 
husband who commences with dithyramb is 
a fool4                                 
,,xlvi4                  ,each night    
ought to have its menu4                 
,,xlvii4     ,marriage must incessantly 
contend with a monster which devours    
everything1 that is1 familiarity4       
,,xlviii4  ,if a man cannot distinguish 
the difference between the pleasures of 
two consecutive nights1 he has married  
too early4                              
,,xlix4 ,it is easier to be a lover than
 a husband1 for the same reason that it 
is more difficult to be witty every day1

 than to say bright things from time to 
time4                                   
,l4  ,a husband ought never to be the   
first to go to sleep and the last to    
awaken4                                 
,,li4 ,the man who enters his wife's    
dressing-room is either a philosopher or
                              an        
imbecile4                               
,,lii4        ,the husband who leaves   
nothing to desire is a lost man4        
,,liii4   ,the married woman is a slave 
whom one must know how to set upon a    
throne4                                 
,,liv4  ,a man must not flatter himself 
that he knows his wife1 and is making   
her happy unless he sees her often at   
his knees4   ,it is to the whole        
ignorant troop of our predestined1 of   
our legions of snivelers1 of smokers1 of
 snuff-takers1 of old and captious men  
that ,sterne addressed1 in ,tristram    
,shandy1 the letter written by ,walter  
,shandy to his brother ,toby1 when this 
last proposed to marry the widow        

,wadman4  ,these celebrated instructions
 which the most original of ,english    
writers has comprised in this letter1   
suffice with some few exceptions to     
complete our observations on the manner 
in which husbands should behave to their
 wives2 and we offer it in its original 
form to the reflections of the          
predestined1 begging that they will     
meditate upon it as one of the most     
solid masterpieces of human wit4    ,,my
 ,,dear ,,brother ,,toby1   ,what ,i am 
going to say to thee is upon the nature 
of women1 and of   love-making to them2 
and perhaps it is as well for thee--tho'
 not   so well for me--that thou hast   
occasion for a letter of   instructions 
upon that head1 and that ,i am able to  
write it to   thee4   ,had it been the  
good pleasure of ,him who disposes of   
our lots1 and   thou no sufferer by the 
knowledge1 ,i had been well content that
   thou should'st have dipped the pen   
this moment into the ink   instead of   
myself2 but that not being the          

case--,mrs4 ,shandy being   now close   
beside me1 preparing for bed--,i have   
thrown together   without order1 and    
just as they have come into my mind1    
such hints   and documents as ,i deem   
may be of use to thee2 intending1 in    
this1   to give thee a token of my love2
 not doubting1 my dear ,toby1 of   the  
manner in which it will be accepted4    
,in the first place1 with regard to all 
which concerns religion in   the        
affair--though ,i perceive from a glow  
in my cheek1 that ,i   blush as ,i begin
 to speak to thee upon the subject1 as  
well   knowing1 notwithstanding thy     
unaffected secrecy1 how few of its      
offices thou neglectest--yet ,i would   
remind thee of one 7during   the        
continuance of thy courtship7 in a      
particular manner1 which ,i   would not 
have omitted2 and that is1 never to go  
forth upon the   enterprise1 whether it 
be in the morning or in the afternoon1  
without first recommending thyself to   
the protection of ,almighty   ,god1 that

 ,he may defend thee from the evil one4 
,shave the whole top of thy crown clean 
once at least every four or   five days1
 but oftener if convenient2 lest in     
taking off thy wig   before her1 thro'  
absence of mind1 she should be able to  
discover   how much has been cut away by
 ,time--how much by ,trim4   ',twere    
better to keep ideas of baldness out of 
her fancy4   ,always carry it in thy    
mind1 and act upon it as a sure maxim1  
,toby--   ',that women are timid4' ,and 
'tis well they are--else there would    
be no dealing with them4   ,let not thy 
breeches be too tight1 or hang too loose
 about thy   thighs1 like the trunk-hose
 of our ancestors4   ,a just medium     
prevents all conclusions4   ,whatever   
thou hast to say1 be it more or less1   
forget not to utter   it in a low soft  
tone of voice4 ,silence1 and whatever   
approaches   it1 weaves dreams of       
midnight secrecy into the brain3 ,for   
this   cause1 if thou canst help it1    
never throw down the tongs and   poker4 

,avoid all kinds of pleasantry and      
facetiousness in thy discourse   with   
her1 and do whatever lies in thy power  
at the same time1 to   keep from her all
 books and writings which tend there to3
 there   are some devotional tracts1    
which if thou canst entice her to   read
 over1 it will be well3 but suffer her  
not to look into   ,rabelais1 or        
,scarron1 or ,don ,quixote4   ,they are 
all books which excite laughter2 and    
thou knowest1 dear   ,toby1 that there  
is no passion so serious as lust4       
,stick a pin in the bosom of thy shirt1 
before thou enterest her   parlor4      
,and if thou art permitted to sit upon  
the same sofa with her1 and   she gives 
thee occasion to lay thy hand upon      
hers--beware of   taking it--thou canst 
not lay thy hand upon hers1 but she will
   feel the temper of thine4 ,leave that
 and as many other things as   thou     
canst1 quite undetermined2 by so doing1 
thou wilt have her   curiosity on thy   
side2 and if she is not conquered by    

that1 and   thy ,asse continues still   
kicking1 which there is great reason to 
suppose--thou must begin1 with first    
losing a few ounces of blood   below the
 ears1 according to the practice of the 
ancient   ,scythians1 who cured the most
 intemperate fits of the appetite by    
that means4   ,avicenna1 after this1 is 
for having the part anointed with the   
syrup of hellebore1 using proper        
evacuations and purges--and ,i   believe
 rightly4 ,but thou must eat little or  
no goat's flesh1 nor   red deer--nor    
even foal's flesh by any means2 and     
carefully   abstain--that is1 as much as
 thou canst1--from peacocks1 cranes1    
coots1 didappers and water-hens4   ,as  
for thy drink--,i need not tell thee1 it
 must be the infusion of   ,vervain and 
the herb ,hanea1 of which ,aelian       
relates such effects2   but if thy      
stomach palls with it--discontinue it   
from time to   time1 taking cucumbers1  
melons1 purslane1 water-lilies1         
woodbine1   and lettuce1 in the stead of

 them4   ,there is nothing further for  
thee1 which occurs to me at present--   
,unless the breaking out of a fresh     
war4--,so wishing everything1   dear    
,toby1 for the best1      ,i rest thy   
affectionate brother1          ,,walter 
,,shandy4   ,under the present          
circumstances ,sterne himself would     
doubtless have omitted from his letter  
the passage about the ass2 and1 far from
 advising the predestined to be bled he 
would have changed the regimen of       
cucumbers and lettuces for one eminently
 substantial4 ,he recommended the       
exercise of economy1 in order to attain 
to the power of magic liberality in the 
moment of war1 thus imitating the       
admirable example of the ,english       
government1 which in time of peace has  
two hundred ships in commission1 but    
whose shipwrights can1 in time of need1 
furnish double that quantity when it is 
desirable to scour the sea and carry off
 a whole foreign navy4  ,when a man     
belongs to the small class of those who 

by a liberal education have been made   
masters of the domain of thought1 he    
ought always1 before marrying1 to       
examine his physical and moral          
resources4 ,to contend advantageously   
with the tempest which so many          
attractions tend to raise in the heart  
of his wife1 a husband ought to possess1
 besides the science of pleasure and a  
fortune which saves him from sinking    
into any class of the predestined1      
robust health1 exquisite tact1          
considerable intellect1 too much good   
sense to make his superiority felt1     
excepting on fit occasions1 and finally 
great acuteness of hearing and sight4   
,if he has a handsome face1 a good      
figure1 a manly air1 and yet falls short
 of all these promises1 he will sink    
into the class of the predestined4 ,on  
the other hand1 a husband who is plain  
in features but has a face full of      
expression1 will find himself1 if his   
wife once forgets his plainness1 in a   
situation most favorable for his        

struggle against the genius of evil4    
,he will study 7and this is a detail    
omitted from the letter of ,sterne7 to  
give no occasion for his wife's disgust4
 ,also1 he will resort moderately to the
 use of perfumes1 which1 however1 always
 expose beauty to injurious suspicions4 
,he ought as carefully to study how to  
behave and how to pick out subjects of  
conversation1 as if he were courting the
 most inconstant of women4 ,it is for   
him that a philosopher has made the     
following reflection3  ,more than one   
woman has been rendered unhappy for the 
rest of her life1 has been lost and     
dishonored by a man whom she has ceased 
to love1 because he took off his coat   
awkwardly1 trimmed one of his nails     
crookedly1 put on a stocking wrong side 
out1 and was clumsy with a button4  ,one
 of the most important of his duties    
will be to conceal from his wife the    
real state of his fortune1 so that he   
may satisfy her fancies and caprices as 
generous celibates are wont to do4      

,then the most difficult thing of all1 a
 thing to accomplish which superhuman   
courage is required1 is to exercise the 
most complete control over the ass of   
which ,sterne speaks4 ,this ass ought to
 be as submissive as a serf of the      
thirteenth century was to his lord2 to  
obey and be silent1 advance and stop1 at
 the slightest word4  ,even when        
equipped with these advantages1 a       
husband enters the lists with scarcely  
any hope of success4 ,like all the rest1
 he still runs the risk of becoming1 for
 his wife1 a sort of responsible editor4
  ,and why6 will exclaim certain good   
but small-minded people1 whose horizon  
is limited to the tip of their nose1 why
 is it necessary to take so much pains  
in order to love1 and why is it         
necessary to go to school beforehand1 in
 order to be happy in your own home8    
,does the government intend to institute
 a professional chair of love1 just as  
it has instituted a chair of law8  ,this
 is our answer3  ,these multiplied      

rules1 so difficult to deduce1 these    
minute observations1 these ideas which  
vary so as to suit different            
temperaments1 are innate1 so to speak1  
in the heart of those who are born for  
love2 just as his feeling of taste and  
his indescribable felicity in combining 
ideas are natural to the soul of the    
poet1 the painter or the musician4 ,the 
men who would experience any fatigue in 
putting into practice the instructions  
given in this ,meditation are naturally 
predestined1 just as he who cannot      
perceive the connection which exists    
between two different ideas is an       
imbecile4 ,as a matter of fact1 love has
 its great men although they be         
unrecognized1 as war has its ,napoleons1
 poetry its ,andre ,cheniers and        
philosophy its ,descartes4  ,this last  
observation contains the germ of a true 
answer to the question which men from   
time immemorial have been asking3 ,why  
are happy marriages so very rare8  ,this
 phenomenon of the moral world is rarely

 met with for the reason that people of 
genius are rarely met with4 ,a passion  
which lasts is a sublime drama acted by 
two performers of equal talent1 a drama 
in which sentiments form the            
catastrophe1 where desires are incidents
 and the lightest thought brings a      
change of scene4 ,now how is it         
possible1 in this herd of bimana which  
we call a nation1 to meet1 on any but   
rare occasions1 a man and a woman who   
possess in the same degree the genius of
 love1 when men of talent are so thinly 
sown and so rare in all other sciences1 
in the pursuit of which the artist needs
 only to understand himself1 in order to
 attain success8  ,up to the present    
moment1 we have been confronted with    
making a forecast of the difficulties1  
to some degree physical1 which two      
married people have to overcome1 in     
order to be happy2 but what a task would
 be ours if it were necessary to unfold 
the startling array of moral obligations
 which spring from their differences in 

character8 ,let us cry halt6 ,the man   
who is skillful enough to guide the     
temperament will certainly show himself 
master of the soul of another4  ,we will
 suppose that our model husband fulfills
 the primary conditions necessary1 in   
order that he may dispute or maintain   
possession of his wife1 in spite of all 
assailants4 ,we will admit that he is   
not to be reckoned in any of the        
numerous classes of the predestined     
which we have passed in review4 ,let us 
admit that he has become imbued with the
 spirit of all our maxims2 that he has  
mastered the admirable science1 some of 
whose precepts we have made known2 that 
he has married wisely1 that he knows his
 wife1 that he is loved by her2 and let 
us continue the enumeration of all those
 general causes which might aggravate   
the critical situation which we shall   
represent him as occupying for the      
instruction of the human race4          
,,meditation ,,vi4                      
,,of ,,boarding ,,schools4  ,if you have

 married a young lady whose education   
has been carried on at a boarding       
school1 there are thirty more obstacles 
to your happiness1 added to all those   
which we have already enumerated1 and   
you are exactly like a man who thrusts  
his hands into a wasp's nest4           
,immediately1 therefore1 after the      
nuptial blessing has been pronounced1   
without allowing yourself to be imposed 
upon by the innocent ignorance1 the     
frank graces and the modest countenance 
of your wife1 you ought to ponder well  
and faithfully follow out the axioms and
 precepts which we shall develop in the 
second part of this book4 ,you should   
even put into practice the rigors       
prescribed in the third part1 by        
maintaining an active surveillance1 a   
paternal solicitude at all hours1 for   
the very day after your marriage1       
perhaps on the evening of your wedding  
day1 there is danger in the house4  ,i  
mean to say that you should call to mind
 the secret and profound instruction    

which the pupils have acquired de natura
 rerum1--of the nature of things4 ,did  
,lapeyrouse1 ,cook or ,captain ,peary   
ever show so much ardor in navigating   
the ocean towards the ,poles as the     
scholars of the ,lycee do in approaching
 forbidden tracts in the ocean of       
pleasure8 ,since girls are more cunning1
 cleverer and more curious than boys1   
their secret meetings and their         
conversations1 which all the art of     
their teachers cannot check1 are        
necessarily presided over by a genius a 
thousand times more informal than that  
of college boys4 ,what man has ever     
heard the moral reflections and the     
corrupting confidences of these young   
girls8 ,they alone know the sports at   
which honor is lost in advance1 those   
essays in pleasure1 those promptings in 
voluptuousness1 those imitations of     
bliss1 which may be compared to the     
thefts made by greedy children from a   
dessert which is locked up4 ,a girl may 
come forth from her boarding school a   

virgin1 but never chaste4 ,she will have
 discussed1 time and time again at      
secret meetings1 the important question 
of lovers1 and corruption will          
necessarily have overcome her heart or  
her spirit4  ,nevertheless1 we will     
admit that your wife has not            
participated in these virginal delights1
 in these premature deviltries4 ,is she 
any better because she has never had any
 voice in the secret councils of        
grown-up girls8 ,no6 ,she will1 in any  
case1 have contracted a friendship with 
other young ladies1 and our computation 
will be modest1 if we attribute to her  
no more than two or three intimate      
friends4 ,are you certain that after    
your wife has left boarding school1 her 
young friends have not there been       
admitted to those confidences1 in which 
an attempt is made to learn in advance1 
at least by analogy1 the pastimes of    
doves8 ,and then her friends will marry2
 you will have four women to watch      
instead of one1 four characters to      

divine1 and you will be at the mercy of 
four husbands and a dozen celibates1 of 
whose life1 principles and habits you   
are quite ignorant1 at a time when our  
meditations have revealed to you certain
 coming of a day when you will have your
 hands full with the people whom you    
married with your wife4 ,satan alone    
could have thought of placing a girl's  
boarding school in the middle of a large
 town6 ,madame ,campan had at least the 
wisdom to set up her famous institution 
at ,ecouen4 ,this sensible precaution   
proved that she was no ordinary woman4  
,there1 her young ladies did not gaze   
upon the picture gallery of the streets1
 the huge and grotesque figures and the 
obscene words drawn by some             
evil-spirited pencil4 ,they had not     
perpetually before their eyes the       
spectacle of human infirmities exhibited
 at every barrier in ,france1 and       
treacherous book-stalls did not vomit   
out upon them in secret the poison of   
books which taught evil and set passion 

on fire4 ,this wise school-mistress1    
moreover1 could only at ,ecouen preserve
 a young lady for you spotless and pure1
 if1 even there1 that were possible4    
,perhaps you hope to find no difficulty 
in preventing your wife from seeing her 
school friends8 ,what folly6 ,she will  
meet them at the ball1 at the theatre1  
out walking and in the world at large2  
and how many services two friends can   
render each other6 ,but we will meditate
 upon this new subject of alarm in its  
proper place and order4  ,nor is this   
all2 if your mother-in-law sent her     
daughter to a boarding school1 do you   
believe that this was out of solicitude 
for her daughter8 ,a girl of twelve or  
fifteen is a terrible ,argus2 and if    
your mother-in-law did not wish to have 
an ,argus in her house ,i should be     
inclined to suspect that your           
mother-in-law belonged undoubtedly to   
the most shady section of our honest    
women4 ,she will1 therefore1 prove for  
her daughter on every occasion either a 

deadly example or a dangerous adviser4  
,let us stop here6--,the mother-in-law  
requires a whole ,meditation for        
herself4  ,so that1 whichever way you   
turn1 the bed of marriage1 in this      
connection1 is equally full of thorns4  
,before the ,revolution1 several        
aristocratic families used to send their
 daughters to the convent4 ,this example
 was followed by a number of people who 
imagined that in sending their daughters
 to a school where the daughters of some
 great noblemen were sent1 they would   
assume the tone and manners of          
aristocrats4 ,this delusion of pride    
was1 from the first1 fatal to domestic  
happiness2 for the convents had all the 
disadvantages of other boarding schools4
 ,the idleness that prevailed there was 
more terrible4 ,the cloister bars       
inflame the imagination4 ,solitude is a 
condition very favorable to the devil2  
and one can scarcely imagine what       
ravages the most ordinary phenomena of  
life are able to leave in the soul of   

these young girls1 dreamy1 ignorant and 
unoccupied4  ,some of them1 by reason of
 their having indulged idle fancies1 are
 led into curious blunders4 ,others1    
having indulged in exaggerated ideas of 
married life1 say to themselves1 as soon
 as they have taken a husband1 ,what6   
,is this all8 ,in every way1 the        
imperfect instruction1 which is given to
 girls educated in common1 has in it all
 the danger of ignorance and all the    
unhappiness of science4  ,a young girl  
brought up at home by her mother or by  
her virtuous1 bigoted1 amiable or       
cross-grained old aunt2 a young girl1   
whose steps have never crossed the home 
threshold without being surrounded by   
chaperons1 whose laborious childhood has
 been wearied by tasks1 albeit they were
 profitless1 to whom in short everything
 is a mystery1 even the ,seraphin puppet
 show1 is one of those treasures which  
are met with1 here and there in the     
world1 like woodland flowers surrounded 
by brambles so thick that mortal eye    

cannot discern them4 ,the man who owns a
 flower so sweet and pure as this1 and  
leaves it to be cultivated by others1   
deserves his unhappiness a thousand     
times over4 ,he is either a monster or a
 fool4  ,and if in the preceding        
,meditation we have succeeded in proving
 to you that by far the greater number  
of men live in the most absolute        
indifference to their personal honor1 in
 the matter of marriage1 is it          
reasonable to believe that any          
considerable number of them are         
sufficiently rich1 sufficiently         
intellectual1 sufficiently penetrating  
to waste1 like ,burchell in the ,vicar  
of ,wakefield1 one or two years in      
studying and watching the girls whom    
they mean to make their wives1 when they
 pay so little attention to them after  
conjugal possession during that period  
of time which the ,english call the     
honeymoon1 and whose influence we shall 
shortly discuss8  ,since1 however1 we   
have spent some time in reflecting upon 

this important matter1 we would observe 
that there are many methods of choosing 
more or less successfully1 even though  
the choice be promptly made4  ,it is1   
for example1 beyond doubt that the      
probabilities will be in your favor3    
,i4 ,if you have chosen a young lady    
whose temperament resembles that of the 
women of ,louisiana or the ,carolinas4  
,to obtain reliable information         
concerning the temperament of a young   
person1 it is necessary to put into     
vigorous operation the system which ,gil
 ,blas prescribes1 in dealing with      
chambermaids1 a system employed by      
statesmen to discover conspiracies and  
to learn how the ministers have passed  
the night4  ,,ii4 ,if you choose a young
 lady who1 without being plain1 does not
 belong to the class of pretty women4   
,we regard it as an infallible principle
 that great sweetness of disposition    
united in a woman with plainness that is
 not repulsive1 form two indubitable    
elements of success in securing the     

greatest possible happiness to the home4
  ,but would you learn the truth8 ,open 
your ,rousseau2 for there is not a      
single question of public morals whose  
trend he has not pointed out in advance4
 ,read3  ,among people of fixed         
principles the girls are careless1 the  
women severe2 the contrary is the case  
among people of no principle4  ,to admit
 the truth enshrined in this profound   
and truthful remark is to conclude1 that
 there would be fewer unhappy marriages 
if men wedded their mistresses4 ,the    
education of girls requires1 therefore1 
important modifications in ,france4 ,up 
to this time ,french laws and ,french   
manners instituted to distinguish       
between a misdemeanor and a crime1 have 
encouraged crime4 ,in reality the fault 
committed by a young girl is scarcely   
ever a misdemeanor1 if you compare it   
with that committed by the married      
woman4 ,is there any comparison between 
the danger of giving liberty to girls   
and that of allowing it to wives8 ,the  

idea of taking a young girl on trial    
makes more serious men think than fools 
laugh4 ,the manners of ,germany1 of     
,switzerland1 of ,england and of the    
,united ,states give to young ladies    
such rights as in ,france would be      
considered the subversion of all        
morality2 and yet it is certain that in 
these countries there are fewer unhappy 
marriages than in ,france4              
,,lv4 ,before a woman gives herself     
entirely up to her lover1 she ought to  
consider well what his love has to offer
 her4 ,the gift of her esteem and       
confidence should necessarily precede   
that of her heart4   ,sparkling with    
truth as they are1 these lines probably 
filled with light the dungeon1 in the   
depths of which ,mirabeau wrote them2   
and the keen observation which they bear
 witness to1 although prompted by the   
most stormy of his passions1 has none   
the less influence even now in solving  
the social problem on which we are      
engaged4 ,in fact1 a marriage sealed    

under the auspices of the religious     
scrutiny which assumes the existence of 
love1 and subjected to the atmosphere of
 that disenchantment which follows on   
possession1 ought naturally to be the   
most firmly-welded of all human unions4 
,a woman then ought never to reproach   
her husband for the legal right1 in     
virtue of which she belongs to him4 ,she
 ought not to find in this compulsory   
submission any excuse for yielding to a 
lover1 because some time after her      
marriage she has discovered in her own  
heart a traitor whose sophisms seduce   
her by asking twenty times an hour1     
,wherefore1 since she has been given    
against her will to a man whom she does 
not love1 should she not give herself1  
of her own free-will1 to a man whom she 
does love4 ,a woman is not to be        
tolerated in her complaints concerning  
faults inseparable from human nature4   
,she has1 in advance1 made trial of the 
tyranny which they exercise1 and taken  
sides with the caprices which they      

exhibit4  ,a great many young girls are 
likely to be disappointed in their hopes
 of love6--,but will it not be an       
immense advantage to them to have       
escaped being made the companions of men
 whom they would have had the right to  
despise8  ,certain alarmists will       
exclaim that such an alteration in our  
manners would bring about a public      
dissoluteness which would be frightful2 
that the laws1 and the customs which    
prompt the laws1 could not after all    
authorize scandal and immorality2 and if
 certain unavoidable abuses do exist1 at
 least society ought not to sanction    
them4  ,it is easy to say1 in reply1    
first of all1 that the proposed system  
tends to prevent those abuses which have
 been hitherto regarded as incapable of 
prevention2 but1 the calculations of our
 statistics1 inexact as they are1 have  
invariably pointed out a widely         
prevailing social sore1 and our         
moralists may1 therefore1 be accused of 
preferring the greater to the lesser    

evil1 the violation of the principle on 
which society is constituted1 to the    
granting of a certain liberty to girls2 
and dissoluteness in mothers of         
families1 such as poisons the springs of
 public education and brings unhappiness
 upon at least four persons1 to         
dissoluteness in a young girl1 which    
only affects herself or at the most a   
child besides4 ,let the virtue of ten   
virgins be lost rather than forfeit this
 sanctity of morals1 that crown of honor
 with which the mother of a family      
should be invested6 ,in the picture     
presented by a young girl abandoned by  
her betrayer1 there is something        
imposing1 something indescribably       
sacred2 here we see oaths violated1 holy
 confidences betrayed1 and on the ruins 
of a too facile virtue innocence sits in
 tears1 doubting everything1 because    
compelled to doubt the love of a father 
for his child4 ,the unfortunate girl is 
still innocent2 she may yet become a    
faithful wife1 a tender mother1 and1 if 

the past is mantled in clouds1 the      
future is blue as the clear sky4 ,shall 
we not find these tender tints in the   
gloomy pictures of loves which violate  
the marriage law8 ,in the one1 the woman
 is the victim1 in the other1 she is a  
criminal4 ,what hope is there for the   
unfaithful wife8 ,if ,god pardons the   
fault1 the most exemplary life cannot   
efface1 here below1 its living          
consequences4 ,if ,james ,i was the son 
of ,rizzio1 the crime of ,mary lasted as
 long as did her mournful though royal  
house1 and the fall of the ,stuarts was 
the justice of ,god4  ,but in good      
faith1 would the emancipation of girls  
set free such a host of dangers8  ,it is
 very easy to accuse a young person for 
suffering herself to be deceived1 in the
 desire to escape1 at any price1 from   
the condition of girlhood2 but such an  
accusation is only just in the present  
condition of our manners4 ,at the       
present day1 a young person knows       
nothing about seduction and its snares1 

she relies altogether upon her weakness1
 and mingling with this reliance the    
convenient maxims of the fashionable    
world1 she takes as her guide while     
under the control of those desires which
 everything conspires to excite1 her own
 deluding fancies1 which prove a guide  
all the more treacherous1 because a     
young girl rarely ever confides to      
another the secret thoughts of her first
 love4  ,if she were free1 an education 
free from prejudices would arm her      
against the love of the first comer4    
,she would1 like any one else1 be very  
much better able to meet dangers of     
which she knew1 than perils whose extent
 had been concealed from her4 ,and1     
moreover1 is it necessary for a girl to 
be any the less under the watchful eye  
of her mother1 because she is mistress  
of her own actions8 ,are we to count as 
nothing the modesty and the fears which 
nature has made so powerful in the soul 
of a young girl1 for the very purpose of
 preserving her from the misfortune of  

submitting to a man who does not love   
her8 ,again1 what girl is there so      
thoughtless as not to discern1 that the 
most immoral man wishes his wife to be a
 woman of principle1 as masters desire  
their servants to be perfect2 and that1 
therefore1 her virtue is the richest and
 the most advantageous of all           
possessions8  ,after all1 what is the   
question before us8 ,for what do you    
think we are stipulating8 ,we are making
 a claim for five or six hundred        
thousand maidens1 protected by their    
instinctive timidity1 and by the high   
price at which they rate themselves2    
they understand how to defend           
themselves1 just as well as they know   
how to sell themselves4 ,the eighteen   
millions of human beings1 whom we have  
excepted from this consideration1 almost
 invariably contract marriages in       
accordance with the system which we are 
trying to make paramount in our system  
of manners2 and as to the intermediary  
classes by which we poor bimana are     

separated from the men of privilege who 
march at the head of a nation1 the      
number of castaway children which these 
classes1 although in tolerably easy     
circumstances1 consign to misery1 goes  
on increasing since the peace1 if we may
 believe ,m4 ,benoiston de ,chateauneuf1
 one of the most courageous of those    
savants who have devoted themselves to  
the arid yet useful study of statistics4
 ,we may guess how deep-seated is the   
social hurt1 for which we propound a    
remedy1 if we reckon the number of      
natural children which statistics       
reveal1 and the number of illicit       
adventures whose evidence in high       
society we are forced to suspect4 ,but  
it is difficult here to make quite plain
 all the advantages which would result  
from the emancipation of young girls4   
,when we come to observe the            
circumstances which attend a marriage1  
such as our present manners approve of1 
judicious minds must appreciate the     
value of that system of education and   

liberty1 which we demand for young      
girls1 in the name of reason and nature4
 ,the prejudice which we in ,france     
entertain in favor of the virginity of  
brides is the most silly of all those   
which still survive among us4 ,the      
,orientals take their brides without    
distressing themselves about the past   
and lock them up in order to be more    
certain about the future2 the ,french   
put their daughters into a sort of      
seraglio defended by their mothers1 by  
prejudice1 and by religious ideas1 and  
give the most complete liberty to their 
wives1 thus showing themselves much more
 solicitous about a woman's past than   
about her future4 ,the point we are     
aiming at is to bring about a reversal  
of our system of manners4 ,if we did so 
we should end1 perhaps1 by giving to    
faithful married life all the flavor and
 the piquancy which women of to-day find
 in acts of infidelity4  ,but this      
discussion would take us far from our   
subject1 if it led us to examine1 in all

 its details1 the vast improvement in   
morals which doubtless will distinguish 
twentieth century ,france2 for morals   
are reformed only very gradually6 ,is it
 not necessary1 in order to produce the 
slightest change1 that the most daring  
dreams of the past century become the   
most trite ideas of the present one8 ,we
 have touched upon this question merely 
in a trifling mood1 for the purposes of 
showing that we are not blind to its    
importance1 and of bequeathing also to  
posterity the outline of a work1 which  
they may complete4 ,to speak more       
accurately there is a third work to be  
composed2 the first concerns courtesans1
 while the second is the physiology of  
pleasure6  ,when there are ten of us1 we
 cross ourselves4  ,in the present state
 of our morals and of our imperfect     
civilization1 a problem crops up which  
for the moment is insoluble1 and which  
renders superfluous all discussion on   
the art of choosing a wife2 we commend  
it1 as we have done all the others1 to  

the meditation of philosophers4         
,,problem4  ,it has not yet been decided
 whether a wife is forced into          
infidelity by the impossibility of      
obtaining any change1 or by the liberty 
which is allowed her in this connection4
  ,moreover1 as in this work we pitch   
upon a man at the moment that he is     
newly married1 we declare that if he has
 found a wife of sanguine temperament1  
of vivid imagination1 of a nervous      
constitution or of an indolent          
character1 his situation cannot fail to 
be extremely serious4  ,a man would find
 himself in a position of danger even   
more critical if his wife drank nothing 
but water see the ,meditation entitled  
,conjugal ,hygiene2 but if she had some 
talent for singing1 or if she were      
disposed to take cold easily1 he should 
tremble all the time2 for it must be    
remembered that women who sing are at   
least as passionate as women whose      
mucous membrane shows extreme delicacy4 
,again1 this danger would be aggravated 

still more if your wife were less than  
seventeen2 or if1 on the other hand1 her
 general complexion were pale and dull1 
for this sort of woman is almost always 
artificial4  ,but we do not wish to     
anticipate here any description of the  
terrors which threaten husbands from the
 symptoms of unhappiness which they read
 in the character of their wives4 ,this 
digression has already taken us too far 
from the subject of boarding schools1 in
 which so many catastrophes are hatched1
 and from which issue so many young     
girls incapable of appreciating the     
painful sacrifices by which the honest  
man who does them the honor of marrying 
them1 has obtained opulence2 young girls
 eager for the enjoyments of luxury1    
ignorant of our laws1 ignorant of our   
manners1 claim with avidity the empire  
which their beauty yields them1 and show
 themselves quite ready to turn away    
from the genuine utterances of the      
heart1 while they readily listen to the 
buzzing of flattery4  ,this ,meditation 

should plant in the memory of all who   
read it1 even those who merely open the 
book for the sake of glancing at it or  
distracting their mind1 an intense      
repugnance for young women educated in a
 boarding school1 and if it succeeds in 
doing so1 its services to the public    
will have already proved considerable4  
,,meditation ,,vii4                     
,,of ,,the ,,honeymoon4  ,if our        
meditations prove that it is almost     
impossible for a married woman to remain
 virtuous in ,france1 our enumeration of
 the celibates and the predestined1 our 
remarks upon the education of girls1 and
 our rapid survey of the difficulties   
which attend the choice of a wife will  
explain up to a certain point this      
national frailty4 ,thus1 after          
indicating frankly the aching malady    
under which the social slate is         
laboring1 we have sought for the causes 
in the imperfection of the laws1 in the 
irrational condition of our manners1 in 
the incapacity of our minds1 and in the 

contradictions which characterize our   
habits4 ,a single point still claims our
 observation1 and that is the first     
onslaught of the evil we are            
confronting4  ,we reach this first      
question on approaching the high        
problems suggested by the honeymoon2 and
 although we find here the starting     
point of all the phenomena of married   
life1 it appears to us to be the        
brilliant link round which are clustered
 all our observations1 our axioms1 our  
problems1 which have been scattered     
deliberately among the wise quips which 
our loquacious meditations retail4 ,the 
honeymoon would seem to be1 if we may   
use the expression1 the apogee of that  
analysis to which we must apply         
ourselves1 before engaging in battle our
 two imaginary champions4  ,the         
expression honeymoon is an ,anglicism1  
which has become an idiom in all        
languages1 so gracefully does it depict 
the nuptial season which is so fugitive1
 and during which life is nothing but   

sweetness and rapture2 the expression   
survives as illusions and errors        
survive1 for it contains the most odious
 of falsehoods4 ,if this season is      
presented to us as a nymph crowned with 
fresh flowers1 caressing as a siren1 it 
is because in it is unhappiness         
personified and unhappiness generally   
comes during the indulgence of folly4   
,the married couple who intend to love  
each other during their whole life have 
no notion of a honeymoon2 for them it   
has no existence1 or rather its         
existence is perennial2 they are like   
the immortals who do not understand     
death4 ,but the consideration of this   
happiness is not germane to our book2   
and for our readers marriage is under   
the influence of two moons1 the         
honeymoon and the ,red-moon4 ,this last 
terminates its course by a revolution1  
which changes it to a crescent2 and when
 once it rises upon a home its light    
there is eternal4  ,how can the         
honeymoon rise upon two beings who      

cannot possibly love each other8  ,how  
can it set1 when once it has risen8     
,have all marriages their honeymoon8    
,let us proceed to answer these         
questions in order4  ,it is in this     
connection that the admirable education 
which we give to girls1 and the wise    
provisions made by the law under which  
men marry1 bear all their fruit4 ,let us
 examine the circumstances which precede
 and attend those marriages which are   
least disastrous4  ,the tone of our     
morals develops in the young girl whom  
you make your wife a curiosity which is 
naturally excessive2 but as mothers in  
,france pique themselves on exposing    
their girls every day to the fire which 
they do not allow to scorch them1 this  
curiosity has no limit4  ,her profound  
ignorance of the mysteries of marriage  
conceals from this creature1 who is as  
innocent as she is crafty1 a clear view 
of the dangers by which marriage is     
followed2 and as marriage is incessantly
 described to her as an epoch in which  

tyranny and liberty equally prevail1 and
 in which enjoyment and supremacy are to
 be indulged in1 her desires are        
intensified by all her interest in an   
existence as yet unfulfilled2 for her to
 marry is to be called up from          
nothingness into life6  ,if she has a   
disposition for happiness1 for religion1
 for morality1 the voices of the law and
 of her mother have repeated to her that
 this happiness can only come to her    
from you4  ,obedience if it is not      
virtue1 is at least a necessary thing   
with her2 for she expects everything    
from you4 ,in the first place1 society  
sanctions the slavery of a wife1 but she
 does not conceive even the wish to be  
free1 for she feels herself weak1 timid 
and ignorant4  ,of course she tries to  
please you1 unless a chance error is    
committed1 or she is seized by a        
repugnance which it would be            
unpardonable in you not to divine4 ,she 
tries to please because she does not    
know you4  ,in a word1 in order to      

complete your triumph1 you take her at a
 moment when nature demands1 often with 
some violence1 the pleasure of which you
 are the dispenser4 ,like ,st4 ,peter   
you hold the keys of ,paradise4  ,i     
would ask of any reasonable creature1   
would a demon marshal round the angel   
whose ruin he had vowed all the elements
 of disaster with more solicitude than  
that with which good morals conspire    
against the happiness of a husband8 ,are
 you not a king surrounded by           
flatterers8  ,this young girl1 with all 
her ignorance and all her desires1      
committed to the mercy of a man who1    
even though he be in love1 cannot know  
her shrinking and secret emotions1 will 
submit to him with a certain sense of   
shame1 and will be obedient and         
complaisant so long as her young        
imagination persuades her to expect the 
pleasure or the happiness of that morrow
 which never dawns4  ,in this unnatural 
situation social laws and the laws of   
nature are in conflict1 but the young   

girl obediently abandons herself to it1 
and1 from motives of self-interest1     
suffers in silence4 ,her obedience is a 
speculation2 her complaisance is a hope2
 her devotion to you is a sort of       
vocation1 of which you reap the         
advantage2 and her silence is           
generosity4 ,she will remain the victim 
of your caprices so long as she does not
 understand them2 she will suffer from  
the limitations of your character until 
she has studied it2 she will sacrifice  
herself without love1 because she       
believed in the show of passion you made
 at the first moment of possession2 she 
will no longer be silent when once she  
has learned the uselessness of her      
sacrifices4  ,and then the morning      
arrives when the inconsistencies which  
have prevailed in this union rise up    
like branches of a tree bent down for a 
moment under a weight which has been    
gradually lightened4 ,you have mistaken 
for love the negative attitude of a     
young girl who was waiting for          

happiness1 who flew in advance of your  
desires1 in the hope that you would go  
forward in anticipation of hers1 and who
 did not dare to complain of the secret 
unhappiness1 for which she at first     
accused herself4 ,what man could fail to
 be the dupe of a delusion prepared at  
such long range1 and in which a young   
innocent woman is at once the accomplice
 and the victim8 ,unless you were a     
divine being it would be impossible for 
you to escape the fascination with which
 nature and society have surrounded you4
 ,is not a snare set in everything which
 surrounds you on the outside and       
influences you within8 ,for in order to 
be happy1 is it not necessary to control
 the impetuous desires of your senses8  
,where is the powerful barrier to       
restrain her1 raised by the light hand  
of a woman whom you wish to please1     
because you do not possess8 ,moreover1  
you have caused your troops to parade   
and march by1 when there was no one at  
the window2 you have discharged your    

fireworks whose framework alone was     
left1 when your guest arrived to see    
them4 ,your wife1 before the pledges of 
marriage1 was like a ,mohican at the    
,opera3 the teacher becomes listless1   
when the savage begins to understand4   
,,lvi4 ,in married life1 the moment when
 two hearts come to understand each     
other is sudden as a flash of lightning1
 and never returns1 when once it is     
passed4   ,this first entrance into life
 of two persons1 during which a woman is
 encouraged by the hope of happiness1 by
 the still fresh sentiment of her       
married duty1 by the wish to please1 by 
the sense of virtue which begins to be  
so attractive as soon as it shows love  
to be in harmony with duty1 is called   
the honeymoon4 ,how can it last long    
between two beings who are united for   
their whole life1 unless they know each 
other perfectly8 ,if there is one thing 
which ought to cause astonishment it is 
this1 that the deplorable absurdities   
which our manners heap up around the    

nuptial couch give birth to so few      
hatreds6 ,but that the life of the wise 
man is a calm current1 and that of the  
prodigal a cataract2 that the child1    
whose thoughtless hands have stripped   
the leaves from every rose upon his     
pathway1 finds nothing but thorns on his
 return1 that the man who in his wild   
youth has squandered a million1 will    
never enjoy1 during his life1 the income
 of forty thousand francs1 which this   
million would have provided--are trite  
commonplaces1 if one thinks of the moral
 theory of life2 but new discoveries1 if
 we consider the conduct of most men4   
,you may see here a true image of all   
honeymoons2 this is their history1 this 
is the plain fact and not the cause that
 underlies it4  ,but that men endowed   
with a certain power of thought by a    
privileged education1 and accustomed to 
think deliberately1 in order to shine in
 politics1 literature1 art1 commerce or 
private life--that these men should all 
marry with the intention of being happy1

 of governing a wife1 either by love or 
by force1 and should all tumble into the
 same pitfall and should become foolish1
 after having enjoyed a certain         
happiness for a certain time1--this is  
certainly a problem whose solution is to
 be found rather in the unknown depths  
of the human soul1 than in the quasi    
physical truths1 on the basis of which  
we have hitherto attempted to explain   
some of these phenomena4 ,the risky     
search for the secret laws1 which almost
 all men are bound to violate without   
knowing it1 under these circumstances1  
promises abundant glory for any one even
 though he make shipwreck in the        
enterprise upon which we now venture to 
set forth4 ,let us then make the        
attempt4  ,in spite of all that fools   
have to say about the difficulty they   
have had in explaining love1 there are  
certain principles relating to it as    
infallible as those of geometry2 but in 
each character these are modified       
according to its tendency2 hence the    

caprices of love1 which are due to the  
infinite number of varying temperaments4
 ,if we were permitted never to see the 
various effects of light without also   
perceiving on what they were based1 many
 minds would refuse to believe in the   
movement of the sun and in its oneness4 
,let the blind men cry out as they like2
 ,i boast with ,socrates1 although ,i am
 not as wise as he was1 that ,i know of 
naught save love2 and ,i intend to      
attempt the formulation of some of its  
precepts1 in order to spare married     
people the trouble of cudgeling their   
brains2 they would soon reach the limit 
of their wit4  ,now all the preceding   
observations may be resolved into a     
single proposition1 which may be        
considered either the first or last term
 in this secret theory of love1 whose   
statement would end by wearying us1 if  
we did not bring it to a prompt         
conclusion4 ,this principle is contained
 in the following formula3              
,,lvii4 ,between two beings susceptible 

of love1 the duration of passion is in  
proportion to the original resistance of
 the woman1 or to the obstacles which   
the accidents of social life put in the 
way of your happiness4   ,if you have   
desired your object only for one day1   
your love perhaps will not last more    
than three nights4 ,where must we seek  
for the causes of this law8 ,i do not   
know4 ,if you cast your eyes around you1
 you will find abundant proof of this   
rule2 in the vegetable world the plants 
which take the longest time to grow are 
those which promise to have the longest 
life2 in the moral order of things the  
works produced yesterday die to-morrow2 
in the physical world the womb which    
infringes the laws of gestation bears   
dead fruit4 ,in everything1 a work which
 is permanent has been brooded over by  
time for a long period4 ,a long future  
requires a long past4 ,if love is a     
child1 passion is a man4 ,this general  
law1 which all men obey1 to which all   
beings and all sentiments must submit1  

is precisely that which every marriage  
infringes1 as we have plainly shown4    
,this principle has given rise to the   
love tales of the ,middle ,ages2 the    
,amadises1 the ,lancelots1 the ,tristans
 of ballad literature1 whose constancy  
may justly be called fabulous1 are      
allegories of the national mythology    
which our imitation of ,greek literature
 nipped in the bud4 ,these fascinating  
characters1 outlined by the imagination 
of the troubadours1 set their seal and  
sanction upon this truth4               
,,lviii4 ,we do not attach ourselves    
permanently to any possessions1         
excepting in proportion to the trouble1 
toil and longing which they have cost   
us4   ,all our meditations have revealed
 to us about the basis of the primordial
 law of love is comprised in the        
following axiom1 which is at the same   
time the principle and the result of the
 law4                                   
,,lix4      ,in every case we receive   
only in proportion to what we give4     

,this last principle is so self-evident 
that we will not attempt to demonstrate 
it4 ,we merely add a single observation 
which appears to us of some importance4 
,the writer who said3 ,everything is    
true1 and everything is false1 announced
 a fact which the human intellect1      
naturally prone to sophism1 interprets  
as it chooses1 but it really seems as   
though human affairs have as many facets
 as there are minds that contemplate    
them4 ,this fact may be detailed as     
follows3  ,there cannot be found1 in all
 creation1 a single law which is not    
counterbalanced by a law exactly        
contrary to it2 life in everything is   
maintained by the equilibrium of two    
opposing forces4 ,so in the present     
subject1 as regards love1 if you give   
too much1 you will not receive enough4  
,the mother who shows her children her  
whole tenderness calls forth their      
ingratitude1 and ingratitude is         
occasioned1 perhaps1 by the             
impossibility of reciprocation4 ,the    

wife who loves more than she is loved   
must necessarily be the object of       
tyranny4 ,durable love is that which    
always keeps the forces of two human    
beings in equilibrium4 ,now this        
equilibrium may be maintained           
permanently2 the one who loves the more 
ought to stop at the point of the one   
who loves the less4 ,and is it not1     
after all the sweetest sacrifice that a 
loving heart can make1 that love should 
so accommodate itself as to adjust the  
inequality8  ,what sentiment of         
admiration must rise in the soul of a   
philosopher on discovering that there   
is1 perhaps1 but one single principle in
 the world1 as there is but one ,god2   
and that our ideas and our affections   
are subject to the same laws which cause
 the sun to rise1 the flowers to bloom1 
the universe to teem with life6         
,perhaps1 we ought to seek in the       
metaphysics of love the reasons for the 
following proposition1 which throws the 
most vivid light on the question of     

honeymoons and of ,red-moons3           
,,theorem4    ,man goes from aversion to
 love2 but if he has begun by loving1   
and      afterwards comes to feel       
aversion1 he never returns to love4     
,in certain human organisms the feelings
 are dwarfed1 as the thought may be in  
certain sterile imaginations4 ,thus1    
just as some minds have the faculty of  
comprehending the connections existing  
between different things without formal 
deduction2 and as they have the faculty 
of seizing upon each formula separately1
 without combining them1 or without the 
power of insight1 comparison and        
expression2 so in the same way1         
different souls may have more or less   
imperfect ideas of the various          
sentiments4 ,talent in love1 as in every
 other art1 consists in the power of    
forming a conception combined with the  
power of carrying it out4 ,the world is 
full of people who sing airs1 but who   
omit the ritornello1 who have quarters  
of an idea1 as they have quarters of    

sentiment1 but who can no more          
co-ordinate the movements of their      
affections than of their thoughts4 ,in a
 word1 they are incomplete4 ,unite a    
fine intelligence with a dwarfed        
intelligence and you precipitate a      
disaster2 for it is necessary that      
equilibrium be preserved in everything4 
,we leave to the philosophers of the    
boudoir or to the sages of the back     
parlor to investigate the thousand ways 
in which men of different temperaments1 
intellects1 social positions and        
fortunes disturb this equilibrium4      
,meanwhile we will proceed to examine   
the last cause for the setting of the   
honeymoon and the rising of the         
,red-moon4  ,there is in life one       
principle more potent than life itself4 
,it is a movement whose celerity springs
 from an unknown motive power4 ,man is  
no more acquainted with the secret of   
this revolution than the earth is aware 
of that which causes her rotation4 ,a   
certain something1 which ,i gladly call 

the current of life1 bears along our    
choicest thoughts1 makes use of most    
people's will and carries us on in spite
 of ourselves4 ,thus1 a man of          
common-sense1 who never fails to pay his
 bills1 if he is a merchant1 a man who  
has been able to escape death1 or what  
perhaps is more trying1 sickness1 by the
 observation of a certain easy but daily
 regimen1 is completely and duly nailed 
up between the four planks of his       
coffin1 after having said every evening3
 ,dear me6 to-morrow ,i will not forget 
my pills6 ,how are we to explain this   
magic spell which rules all the affairs 
of life8 ,do men submit to it from a    
want of energy8 ,men who have the       
strongest wills are subject to it4 ,is  
it default of memory8 ,people who       
possess this faculty in the highest     
degree yield to its fascination4  ,every
 one can recognize the operation of this
 influence in the case of his neighbor1 
and it is one of the things which       
exclude the majority of husbands from   

the honeymoon4 ,it is thus that the wise
 man1 survivor of all reefs and shoals1 
such as we have pointed out1 sometimes  
falls into the snares which he himself  
has set4  ,i have myself noticed that   
man deals with marriage and its dangers 
in very much the same way that he deals 
with wigs2 and perhaps the following    
phases of thought concerning wigs may   
furnish a formula for human life in     
general4  ,,first ,,epoch4--,is it      
possible that ,i shall ever have white  
hair8  ,,second ,,epoch4--,in any case1 
if ,i have white hair1 ,i shall never   
wear a wig4 ,good ,lord6 what is more   
ugly than a wig8  ,one morning you hear 
a young voice1 which love much oftener  
makes to vibrate than lulls to silence1 
exclaiming3  ,well1 ,i declare6 ,you    
have a white hair6  ,,third             
,,epoch4--,why not wear a well-made wig 
which people would not notice8 ,there is
 a certain merit in deceiving everybody2
 besides1 a wig keeps you warm1 prevents
 taking cold1 etc4  ,,fourth            

,,epoch4--,the wig is so skillfully put 
on that you deceive every one who does  
not know you4  ,the wig takes up all    
your attention1 and amour-propre makes  
you every morning as busy as the most   
skillful hairdresser4  ,,fifth          
,,epoch4--,the neglected wig4 ,good     
heavens6 ,how tedious it is1 to have to 
go with bare head every evening1 and to 
curl one's wig every morning6  ,,sixth  
,,epoch4--,the wig allows certain white 
hairs to escape2 it is put on awry and  
the observer perceives on the back of   
your neck a white line1 which contrasts 
with the deep tints pushed back by the  
collar of your coat4  ,,seventh         
,,epoch4--,your wig is as scraggy as    
dog's tooth grass2 and --excuse the     
expression--you are making fun of your  
wig4  ,sir1 said one of the most        
powerful feminine intelligences which   
have condescended to enlighten me on    
some of the most obscure passages in my 
book1 what do you mean by this wig8     
,madame1 ,i answered1 when a man falls  

into a mood of indifference with regard 
to his wig1 he is1--he is--what your    
husband probably is not4  ,but my       
husband is not-- 7she paused and thought
 for a moment74 ,he is not amiable2 he  
is not--well1 he is not--of an even     
temper2 he is not--  ,then1 madame1 he  
would doubtless be indifferent to his   
wig6  ,we looked at each other1 she with
 a well-assumed air of dignity1 ,i with 
a suppressed smile4  ,i see1 said ,i1   
that we must pay special respect to the 
ears of the little sex1 for they are the
 only chaste things about them4  ,i     
assumed the attitude of a man who has   
something of importance to disclose1 and
 the fair dame lowered her eyes1 as if  
she had some reason to blush4  ,madame1 
in these days a minister is not hanged1 
as once upon a time1 for saying yes or  
no2 a ,chateaubriand would scarcely     
torture ,francoise de ,foix1 and we wear
 no longer at our side a long sword     
ready to avenge an insult4 ,now in a    
century when civilization has made such 

rapid progress1 when we can learn a     
science in twenty-four lessons1         
everything must follow this race after  
perfection4 ,we can no longer speak the 
manly1 rude1 coarse language of our     
ancestors4 ,the age in which are        
fabricated such fine1 such brilliant    
stuffs1 such elegant furniture1 and when
 are made such rich porcelains1 must    
needs be the age of periphrase and      
circumlocution4 ,we must try1 therefore1
 to coin a new word in place of the     
comic expression which ,moliere used2   
since the language of this great man1 as
 a contemporary author has said1 is too 
free for ladies who find gauze too thick
 for their garments4 ,but people of the 
world know1 as well as the learned1 how 
the ,greeks had an innate taste for     
mysteries4 ,that poetic nation knew well
 how to invest with the tints of fable  
the antique traditions of their history4
 ,at the voice of their rhapsodists     
together with their poets and romancers1
 kings became gods and their adventures 

of gallantry were transformed into      
immortal allegories4 ,according to ,m4  
,chompre1 licentiate in law1 the classic
 author of the ,dictionary of           
,mythology1 the labyrinth was 'an       
enclosure planted with trees and adorned
 with buildings arranged in such a way  
that when a young man once entered1 he  
could no more find his way out4' ,here  
and there flowery thickets were         
presented to his view1 but in the midst 
of a multitude of alleys1 which crossed 
and recrossed his path and bore the     
appearance of a uniform passage1 among  
the briars1 rocks and thorns1 the       
patient found himself in combat with an 
animal called the ,minotaur4  ,now1     
madame1 if you will allow me the honor  
of calling to your mind the fact that   
the ,minotaur was of all known beasts   
that which ,mythology distinguishes as  
the most dangerous2 that in order to    
save themselves from his ravages1 the   
,athenians were bound to deliver to him1
 every single year1 fifty virgins2 you  

will perhaps escape the error of good   
,m4 ,chompre1 who saw in the labyrinth  
nothing but an ,english garden2 and you 
will recognize in this ingenious fable a
 refined allegory1 or we may better say 
a faithful and fearful image of the     
dangers of marriage4 ,the paintings     
recently discovered at ,herculaneum have
 served to confirm this opinion4 ,and1  
as a matter of fact1 learned men have   
for a long time believed1 in accordance 
with the writings of certain authors1   
that the ,minotaur was an animal        
half-man1 half-bull2 but the fifth panel
 of ancient paintings at ,herculaneum   
represents to us this allegorical       
monster with a body entirely human2 and1
 to take away all vestige of doubt1 he  
lies crushed at the feet of ,theseus4   
,now1 my dear madame1 why should we not 
ask ,mythology to come and rescue us    
from that hypocrisy which is gaining    
ground with us and hinders us from      
laughing as our fathers laughed8 ,and   
thus1 since in the world a young lady   

does not very well know how to spread   
the veil under which an honest woman    
hides her behavior1 in a contingency    
which our grandfathers would have       
roughly explained by a single word1 you1
 like a crowd of beautiful but          
prevaricating ladies1 you content       
yourselves with saying1 ',ah6 yes1 she  
is very amiable1 but1'--but what8--'but 
she is often very inconsistent--4' ,i   
have for a long time tried to find out  
the meaning of this last word1 and1     
above all1 the figure of rhetoric by    
which you make it express the opposite  
of that which it signifies2 but all my  
researches have been in vain4           
,vert-,vert used the word last1 and was 
unfortunately addressed to the innocent 
nuns whose infidelities did not in any  
way infringe the honor of the men4 ,when
 a woman is inconsistent the husband    
must be1 according to me1 minotaurized4 
,if the minotaurized man is a fine      
fellow1 if he enjoys a certain          
esteem1--and many husbands really       

deserve to be pitied1--then in speaking 
of him1 you say in a pathetic voice1    
',m4 ,a--- is a very estimable man1 his 
wife is exceedingly pretty1 but they say
 he is not happy in his domestic        
relations4' ,thus1 madame1 the estimable
 man who is unhappy in his domestic     
relations1 the man who has an           
inconsistent wife1 or the husband who is
 minotaurized are simply husbands as    
they appear in ,moliere4 ,well1 then1 ,o
 goddess of modern taste1 do not these  
expressions seem to you characterized by
 a transparency chaste enough for       
anybody8  ,ah6 mon ,dieu6 she answered1 
laughing1 if the thing is the same1 what
 does it matter whether it be expressed 
in two syllables or in a hundred8  ,she 
bade me good-bye1 with an ironical nod  
and disappeared1 doubtless to join the  
countesses of my preface and all the    
metaphorical creatures1 so often        
employed by romance-writers as agents   
for the recovery or composition of      
ancient manuscripts4  ,as for you1 the  

more numerous and the more real         
creatures who read my book1 if there are
 any among you who make common cause    
with my conjugal champion1 ,i give you  
notice that you will not at once become 
unhappy in your domestic relations4 ,a  
man arrives at this conjugal condition  
not suddenly1 but insensibly and by     
degrees4 ,many husbands have even       
remained unfortunate in their domestic  
relations during their whole life and   
have never known it4 ,this domestic     
revolution develops itself in accordance
 with fixed rules2 for the revolutions  
of the honeymoon are as regular as the  
phases of the moon in heaven1 and are   
the same in every married house4 ,have  
we not proved that moral nature1 like   
physical nature1 has its laws8  ,your   
young wife will never take a lover1 as  
we have elsewhere said1 without making  
serious reflections4 ,as soon as the    
honeymoon wanes1 you will find that you 
have aroused in her a sentiment of      
pleasure which you have not satisfied2  

you have opened to her the book of life2
 and she has derived an excellent idea  
from the prosaic dullness which         
distinguishes your complacent love1 of  
the poetry which is the natural result  
when souls and pleasures are in accord4 
,like a timid bird1 just startled by the
 report of a gun which has ceased1 she  
puts her head out of her nest1 looks    
round her1 and sees the world2 and      
knowing the word of a charade which you 
have played1 she feels instinctively the
 void which exists in your languishing  
passion4 ,she divines that it is only   
with a lover that she can regain the    
delightful exercise of her free will in 
love4  ,you have dried the green wood in
 preparation for a fire4  ,in the       
situation in which both of you find     
yourselves1 there is no woman1 even the 
most virtuous1 who would not be found   
worthy of a grande passion1 who has not 
dreamed of it1 and who does not believe 
that it is easily kindled1 for there is 
always found a certain amour-propre     

ready to reinforce that conquered       
enemy--a jaded wife4  ,if the role of an
 honest woman were nothing more than    
perilous1 said an old lady to me1 ,i    
would admit that it would serve4 ,but it
 is tiresome2 and ,i have never met a   
virtuous woman who did not think about  
deceiving somebody4  ,and then1 before  
any lover presents himself1 a wife      
discusses with herself the legality of  
the act2 she enters into a conflict with
 her duties1 with the law1 with religion
 and with the secret desires of a nature
 which knows no check-rein excepting    
that which she places upon herself4 ,and
 then commences for you a condition of  
affairs totally new2 then you receive   
the first intimation which nature1 that 
good and indulgent mother1 always gives 
to the creatures who are exposed to any 
danger4 ,nature has put a bell on the   
neck of the ,minotaur1 as on the tail of
 that frightful snake which is the      
terror of travelers4 ,and then appear in
 your wife what we will call the first  

symptoms1 and woe to him who does not   
know how to contend with them4 ,those   
who in reading our book will remember   
that they saw those symptoms in their   
own domestic life can pass to the       
conclusion of this work1 where they will
 find how they may gain consolation4    
,the situation referred to1 in which a  
married couple bind themselves for a    
longer or a shorter time1 is the point  
from which our work starts1 as it is the
 end at which our observations stop4 ,a 
man of intelligence should know how to  
recognize the mysterious indications1   
the obscure signs and the involuntary   
revelation which a wife unwittingly     
exhibits2 for the next ,meditation will 
doubtless indicate the more evident of  
the manifestations to neophytes in the  
sublime science of marriage4            
,,meditation ,,viii4                    
,,of ,,the ,,first ,,symptoms4  ,when   
your wife reaches that crisis in which  
we have left her1 you yourself are      
wrapped in a pleasant and unsuspicious  

security4 ,you have so often seen the   
sun that you begin to think it is       
shining over everybody4 ,you therefore  
give no longer that attention to the    
least action of your wife1 which was    
impelled by your first outburst of      
passion4  ,this indolence prevents many 
husbands from perceiving the symptoms   
which1 in their wives1 herald the first 
storm2 and this disposition of mind has 
resulted in the minotaurization of more 
husbands than have either opportunity1  
carriages1 sofas and apartments in town4
  ,the feeling of indifference in the   
presence of danger is to some degree    
justified by the apparent tranquillity  
which surrounds you4 ,the conspiracy    
which is formed against you by our      
million of hungry celibates seems to be 
unanimous in its advance4 ,although all 
are enemies of each other and know each 
other well1 a sort of instinct forces   
them into co-operation4  ,two persons   
are married4 ,the myrmidons of the      
,minotaur1 young and old1 have usually  

the politeness to leave the bride and   
bridegroom entirely to themselves at    
first4 ,they look upon the husband as an
 artisan1 whose business it is to trim1 
polish1 cut into facets and mount the   
diamond1 which is to pass from hand to  
hand in order to be admired all around4 
,moreover1 the aspect of a young married
 couple much taken with each other      
always rejoices the heart of those among
 the celibates who are known as roues2  
they take good care not to disturb the  
excitement by which society is to be    
profited2 they also know that heavy     
showers to not last long4 ,they         
therefore keep quiet2 they watch1 and   
wait1 with incredible vigilance1 for the
 moment when bride and groom begin to   
weary of the seventh heaven4  ,the tact 
with which celibates discover the moment
 when the breeze begins to rise in a new
 home can only be compared to the       
indifference of those husbands for whom 
the ,red-moon rises4 ,there is1 even in 
intrigue1 a moment of ripeness which    

must be waited for4 ,the great man is he
 who anticipates the outcome of certain 
circumstances4 ,men of fifty-two1 whom  
we have represented as being so         
dangerous1 know very well1 for example1 
that any man who offers himself as lover
 to a woman and is haughtily rejected1  
will be received with open arms three   
months afterwards4 ,but it may be truly 
said that in general married people in  
betraying their indifference towards    
each other show the same naivete with   
which they first betrayed their love4   
,at the time when you are traversing    
with madame the ravishing fields of the 
seventh heaven--where according to their
 temperament1 newly married people      
remain encamped for a longer or shorter 
time1 as the preceding ,meditation has  
proved--you go little or not at all into
 society4 ,happy as you are in your     
home1 if you do go abroad1 it will be   
for the purpose of making up a choice   
party and visiting the theatre1 the     
country1 etc4 ,from the moment you the  

newly wedded make your appearance in the
 world again1 you and your bride        
together1 or separately1 and are seen to
 be attentive to each other at balls1 at
 parties1 at all the empty amusements   
created to escape the void of an        
unsatisfied heart1 the celibates discern
 that your wife comes there in search of
 distraction2 her home1 her husband are 
therefore wearisome to her4  ,at this   
point the celibate knows that half of   
the journey is accomplished4 ,at this   
point you are on the eve of being       
minotaurized1 and your wife is likely to
 become inconsistent2 which means that  
she is on the contrary likely to prove  
very consistent in her conduct1 that she
 has reasoned it out with astonishing   
sagacity and that you are likely very   
soon to smell fire4 ,from that moment   
she will not in appearance fail in any  
of her duties1 and will put on the      
colors of that virtue in which she is   
most lacking4 ,said ,crebillon3         
,alas6   ,is it right to be heir of the 

man who we slay8  ,never has she seemed 
more anxious to please you4 ,she will   
seek1 as much as possible1 to allay the 
secret wounds which she thinks about    
inflicting upon your married bliss1 she 
will do so by those little attentions   
which induce you to believe in the      
eternity of her love2 hence the proverb1
 ,happy as a fool4 ,but in accordance   
with the character of women1 they either
 despise their own husbands from the    
very fact that they find no difficulty  
in deceiving them2 or they hate them    
when they find themselves circumvented  
by them2 or they fall into a condition  
of indifference towards them1 which is a
 thousand times worse than hatred4 ,in  
this emergency1 the first thing which   
may be diagnosed in a woman is a decided
 oddness of behavior4 ,a woman loves to 
be saved from herself1 to escape her    
conscience1 but without the eagerness   
shown in this connection by wives who   
are thoroughly unhappy4 ,she dresses    
herself with especial care1 in order1   

she will tell you1 to flatter your      
amour-propre by drawing all eyes upon   
her in the midst of parties and public  
entertainments4  ,when she returns to   
the bosom of her stupid home you will   
see that1 at times1 she is gloomy and   
thoughtful1 then suddenly laughing and  
gay as if beside herself2 or assuming   
the serious expression of a ,german when
 he advances to the fight4 ,such varying
 moods always indicate the terrible     
doubt and hesitation to which we have   
already referred4 ,there are women who  
read romances in order to feast upon the
 images of love cleverly depicted and   
always varied1 of love crowned yet      
triumphant2 or in order to familiarize  
themselves in thought with the perils of
 an intrigue4  ,she will profess the    
highest esteem for you1 she will tell   
you that she loves you as a sister2 and 
that such reasonable friendship is the  
only true1 the only durable friendship1 
the only tie which it is the aim of     
marriage to establish between man and   

wife4  ,she will adroitly distinguish   
between the duties which are all she has
 to perform and the rights which she can
 demand to exercise4  ,she views with   
indifference1 appreciated by you alone1 
all the details of married happiness4   
,this sort of happiness1 perhaps1 has   
never been very agreeable to her and    
moreover it is always with her4 ,she    
knows it well1 she has analyzed it2 and 
what slight but terrible evidence comes 
from these circumstances to prove to an 
intelligent husband that this frail     
creature argues and reasons1 instead of 
being carried away on the tempest of    
passion4                                
,,lx4                ,the more a man    
judges the less he loves4   ,and now    
will burst forth from her those         
pleasantries at which you will be the   
first to laugh and those reflections    
which will startle you by their         
profundity2 now you will see sudden     
changes of mood and the caprices of a   
mind which hesitates4 ,at times she will

 exhibit extreme tenderness1 as if she  
repented of her thoughts and her        
projects2 sometimes she will be sullen  
and at cross-purposes with you2 in a    
word1 she will fulfill the varium et    
mutabile femina which we hitherto have  
had the folly to attribute to the       
feminine temperament4 ,diderot1 in his  
desire to explain the mutations almost  
atmospheric in the behavior of women1   
has even gone so far as to make them the
 offspring of what he calls la bete     
feroce2 but we never see these whims in 
a woman who is happy4  ,these symptoms1 
light as gossamer1 resemble the clouds  
which scarcely break the azure surface  
of the sky and which they call flowers  
of the storm4 ,but soon their colors    
take a deeper intensity4  ,in the midst 
of this solemn premeditation1 which     
tends1 as ,madame de ,stael says1 to    
bring more poetry into life1 some women1
 in whom virtuous mothers either from   
considerations of worldly advantage of  
duty or sentiment1 or through sheer     

hypocrisy1 have inculcated steadfast    
principles1 take the overwhelming       
fancies by which they are assailed for  
suggestions of the devil2 and you will  
see them therefore trotting regularly to
 mass1 to midday offices1 even to       
vespers4 ,this false devotion exhibits  
itself1 first of all in the shape of    
pretty books of devotion in a costly    
binding1 by the aid of which these dear 
sinners attempt in vain to fulfill the  
duties imposed by religion1 and long    
neglected for the pleasures of marriage4
  ,now here we will lay down a          
principle1 and you must engrave it on   
your memory in letters of fire4  ,when a
 young woman suddenly takes up religious
 practices which she has before         
abandoned1 this new order of life always
 conceals a motive highly significant1  
in view of her husband's happiness4 ,in 
the case of at least seventy-nine women 
out of a hundred this return to ,god    
proves that they have been inconsistent1
 or that they intend to become so4  ,but

 a symptom more significant still and   
more decisive1 and one that every       
husband should recognize under pain of  
being considered a fool1 is this3  ,at  
the time when both of you are immersed  
in the illusive delights of the         
honeymoon1 your wife1 as one devoted to 
you1 would constantly carry out your    
will4 ,she was happy in the power of    
showing the ready will1 which both of   
you mistook for love1 and she would have
 liked for you to have asked her to walk
 on the edge of the roof1 and           
immediately1 nimble as a squirrel1 she  
would have run over the tiles4 ,in a    
word1 she found an ineffable delight in 
sacrificing to you that ego which made  
her a being distinct from yours4 ,she   
had identified herself with your nature 
and was obedient to that vow of the     
heart1 ,una caro4  ,all this delightful 
promptness of an earlier day gradually  
faded away4 ,wounded to find her will   
counted as nothing1 your wife will      
attempt1 nevertheless1 to reassert it by

 means of a system developed gradually1 
and from day to day1 with increased     
energy4  ,this system is founded upon   
what we may call the dignity of the     
married woman4 ,the first effect of this
 system is to mingle with your pleasures
 a certain reserve and a certain        
lukewarmness1 of which you are the sole 
judge4  ,according to the greater or    
lesser violence of your sensual passion1
 you have perhaps discerned some of     
those twenty-two pleasures which in     
other times created in ,greece          
twenty-two kinds of courtesans1 devoted 
especially to these delicate branches of
 the same art4 ,ignorant and simple1    
curious and full of hope1 your young    
wife may have taken some degrees in this
 science as rare as it is unknown1 and  
which we especially commend to the      
attention of the future author of       
,physiology of ,pleasure4  ,lacking all 
these different kinds of pleasure1 all  
these caprices of soul1 all these arrows
 of love1 you are reduced to the most   

common of love fashions1 of that        
primitive and innocent wedding gait1 the
 calm homage which the innocent ,adam   
rendered to our common ,mother and which
 doubtless suggested to the ,serpent the
 idea of taking them in4 ,but a symptom 
so complete is not frequent4 ,most      
married couples are too good ,christians
 to follow the usages of pagan ,greece1 
so we have ranged1 among the last       
symptoms1 the appearance in the calm    
nuptial couch of those shameless        
pleasures which spring generally from   
lawless passion4 ,in their proper time  
and place we will treat more fully of   
this fascinating diagnostic2 at this    
point1 things are reduced to a          
listlessness and conjugal repugnance    
which you alone are in a condition to   
appreciate4  ,at the same time that she 
is ennobling by her dignity the objects 
of marriage1 your wife will pretend that
 she ought to have her opinion and you  
yours4 ,in marrying1 she will say1 a    
woman does not vow that she will        

abdicate the throne of reason4 ,are     
women then really slaves8 ,human laws   
can fetter the body2 but the mind6--ah6 
,god has placed it so near ,himself that
 no human hand can touch it4  ,these    
ideas necessarily proceed either from   
the too liberal teachings which you have
 allowed her to receive1 or from some   
reflections which you have permitted her
 to make4 ,a whole ,meditation has been 
devoted to ,home ,instruction4  ,then   
your wife begins to say1 ,my chamber1 my
 bed1 my apartment4 ,to many of your    
questions she will reply1 ,but1 my dear1
 this is no business of yours6 ,or3 ,men
 have their part in the direction of the
 house1 and women have theirs4 ,or1     
laughing at men who meddle in household 
affairs1 she will affirm that men do not
 understand some things4  ,the number of
 things which you do not understand     
increases day by day4  ,one fine        
morning1 you will see in your little    
church two altars1 where before you     
never worshiped but at one4 ,the altar  

of your wife and your own altar have    
become distinct1 and this distinction   
will go on increasing1 always in        
accordance with the system founded upon 
the dignity of woman4  ,then the        
following ideas will appear1 and they   
will be inculcated in you whether you   
like it or not1 by means of a living    
force very ancient in origin and little 
known4 ,steam-power1 horse-power1       
man-power1 and water-power are good     
inventions1 but nature has provided     
women with a moral power1 in comparison 
with which all other powers are nothing2
 we may call it rattle-power4 ,this     
force consists in a continuance of the  
same sound1 in an exact repetition of   
the same words1 in a reversion1 over and
 over again1 to the same ideas1 and this
 so unvaried1 that from hearing them    
over and over again you will admit them1
 in order to be delivered from the      
discussion4 ,thus the power of the      
rattle will prove to you3  ,that you are
 very fortunate to have such an         

excellent wife2  ,that she has done you 
too much honor in marrying you2  ,that  
women often see clearer than men2  ,that
 you ought to take the advice of your   
wife in everything1 and almost always   
ought to follow it2  ,that you ought to 
respect the mother of your children1 to 
honor her and have confidence in her2   
,that the best way to escape being      
deceived1 is to rely upon a wife's      
refinement1 for according to certain old
 ideas which we have had the weakness to
 give credit1 it is impossible for a man
 to prevent his wife from minotaurizing 
him2  ,that a lawful wife is a man's    
best friend2  ,that a woman is mistress 
in her own house and queen in her       
drawing-room1 etc4  ,those who wish to  
oppose a firm resistance to a woman's   
conquest1 effected by means of her      
dignity over man's power1 fall into the 
category of the predestined4  ,at first1
 quarrels arise which in the eye of     
wives give an air of tyranny to         
husbands4 ,the tyranny of a husband is  

always a terrible excuse for            
inconsistency in a wife4 ,then1 in their
 frivolous discussions they are enabled 
to prove to their families and to ours1 
to everybody and to ourselves1 that we  
are in the wrong4 ,if1 for the sake of  
peace1 or from love1 you acknowledge the
 pretended rights of women1 you yield an
 advantage to your wife by which she    
will profit eternally4 ,a husband1 like 
a government1 ought never to acknowledge
 a mistake4 ,in case you do so1 your    
power will be outflanked by the subtle  
artifices of feminine dignity2 then all 
will be lost2 from that moment she will 
advance from concession to concession   
until she has driven you from her bed4  
,the woman being shrewd1 intelligent1   
sarcastic and having leisure to meditate
 over an ironical phrase1 can easily    
turn you into ridicule during a         
momentary clash of opinions4 ,the day on
 which she turns you into ridicule1 sees
 the end of your happiness4 ,your power 
has expired4 ,a woman who has laughed at

 her husband cannot henceforth love him4
 ,a man should be1 to the woman who is  
in love with him1 a being full of power1
 of greatness1 and always imposing4 ,a  
family cannot exist without despotism4  
,think of that1 ye nations6  ,now the   
difficult course which a man has to     
steer in presence of such serious       
incidents as these1 is what we may call 
the haute politique of marriage1 and is 
the subject of the second and third     
parts of our book4 ,that breviary of    
marital ,machiavelism will teach you the
 manner in which you may grow to        
greatness within that frivolous mind1   
within that soul of lacework1 to use    
,napoleon's phrase4 ,you may learn how a
 man may exhibit a soul of steel1 may   
enter upon this little domestic war     
without ever yielding the empire of his 
will1 and may do so without compromising
 his happiness4 ,for if you exhibit any 
tendency to abdication1 your wife will  
despise you1 for the sole reason that   
she has discovered you to be destitute  

of mental vigor2 you are no longer a man
 to her4  ,but we have not yet reached  
the point at which are to be developed  
those theories and principles1 by means 
of which a man may unite elegance of    
manners with severity of measures2 let  
it suffice us1 for the moment1 to point 
out the importance of impending events  
and let us pursue our theme4  ,at this  
fatal epoch1 you will see that she is   
adroitly setting up a right to go out   
alone4  ,you were at one time her god1  
her idol4 ,she has now reached that     
height of devotion at which it is       
permitted to see holes in the garments  
of the saints4  ,oh1 mon ,dieu6 ,my     
dear1 said ,madame de la ,valliere to   
her husband1 how badly you wear your    
sword6 ,m4 de ,richelieu has a way of   
making it hang straight at his side1    
which you ought to try to imitate2 it is
 in much better taste4  ,my dear1 you   
could not tell me in a more tactful     
manner that we have been married five   
months6 replied the ,duke1 whose        

repartee made his fortune in the reign  
of ,louis ,,xv4  ,she will study your   
character in order to find weapons      
against you4 ,such a study1 which love  
would hold in horror1 reveals itself in 
the thousand little traps which she lays
 purposely to make you scold her2 when a
 woman has no excuse for minotaurizing  
her husband she sets to work to make    
one4  ,she will perhaps begin dinner    
without waiting for you4  ,if you drive 
through the middle of the town1 she will
 point out certain objects which escaped
 your notice2 she will sing before you  
without feeling afraid2 she will        
interrupt you1 sometimes vouchsafe no   
reply to you1 and will prove to you1 in 
a thousand different ways1 that she is  
enjoying at your side the use of all her
 faculties and exercising her private   
judgment4  ,she will try to abolish     
entirely your influence in the          
management of the house and to become   
sole mistress of your fortune4 ,at first
 this struggle will serve as a          

distraction for her soul1 whether it be 
empty or in too violent commotion2 next1
 she will find in your opposition a new 
motive for ridicule4 ,slang expressions 
will not fail her1 and in ,france we are
 so quickly vanquished by the ironical  
smile of another6  ,at other times      
headaches and nervous attacks make their
 appearance2 but these symptoms furnish 
matter for a whole future ,meditation4  
,in the world she will speak of you     
without blushing1 and will gaze at you  
with assurance4 ,she will begin to blame
 your least actions because they are at 
variance with her ideas1 or her secret  
intentions4 ,she will take no care of   
what pertains to you1 she will not even 
know whether you have all you need4 ,you
 are no longer her paragon4  ,in        
imitation of ,louis ,,xiv1 who carried  
to his mistresses the bouquets of orange
 blossoms which the head gardener of    
,versailles put on his table every      
morning1 ,m4 de ,vivonne used almost    
every day to give his wife choice       

flowers during the early period of his  
marriage4 ,one morning he found the     
bouquet lying on the side table without 
having been placed1 as usual1 in a vase 
of water4  ,oh6 ,oh6 said he1 if ,i am  
not a cuckold1 ,i shall very soon be    
one4  ,you go on a journey for eight    
days and you receive no letters1 or you 
receive one1 three pages of which are   
blank4--,symptom4  ,you come home       
mounted on a valuable horse which you   
like very much1 and between her kisses  
your wife shows her uneasiness about the
 horse and his fodder4--,symptom4  ,to  
these features of the case1 you will be 
able to add others4 ,we shall endeavor  
in the present volume always to paint   
things in bold fresco style and leave   
the miniatures to you4 ,according to the
 characters concerned1 the indications  
which we are describing1 veiled under   
the incidents of ordinary life1 are of  
infinite variety4 ,one man may discover 
a symptom in the way a shawl is put on1 
while another needs to receive a fillip 

to his intellect1 in order to notice the
 indifference of his mate4  ,some fine  
spring morning1 the day after a ball1 or
 the eve of a country party1 this       
situation reaches its last phase2 your  
wife is listless and the happiness      
within her reach has no more attractions
 for her4 ,her mind1 her imagination1   
perhaps her natural caprices call for a 
lover4 ,nevertheless1 she dare not yet  
embark upon an intrigue whose           
consequences and details fill her with  
dread4 ,you are still there for some    
purpose or other2 you are a weight in   
the balance1 although a very light one4 
,on the other hand1 the lover presents  
himself arrayed in all the graces of    
novelty and all the charms of mystery4  
,the conflict which has arisen in the   
heart of your wife becomes1 in presence 
of the enemy1 more real and more full of
 peril than before4 ,very soon the more 
dangers and risks there are to be run1  
the more she burns to plunge into that  
delicious gulf of fear1 enjoyment1      

anguish and delight4 ,her imagination   
kindles and sparkles1 her future life   
rises before her eyes1 colored with     
romantic and mysterious hues4 ,her soul 
discovers that existence has already    
taken its tone from this struggle which 
to a woman has so much solemnity in it4 
,all is agitation1 all is fire1 all is  
commotion within her4 ,she lives with   
three times as much intensity as before1
 and judges the future by the present4  
,the little pleasure which you have     
lavished upon her bears witness against 
you2 for she is not excited as much by  
the pleasures which she has received1 as
 by those which she is yet to enjoy2    
does not imagination show her that her  
happiness will be keener with this      
lover1 whom the laws deny her1 than with
 you8 ,and then1 she finds enjoyment    
even in her terror and terror in her    
enjoyment4 ,then she falls in love with 
this imminent danger1 this sword of     
,damocles hung over her head by you     
yourself1 thus preferring the delirious 

agonies of such a passion1 to that      
conjugal inanity which is worse to her  
than death1 to that indifference which  
is less a sentiment than the absence of 
all sentiment4  ,you1 who must go to pay
 your respects to the ,minister of      
,finance1 to write memorandums at the   
bank1 to make your reports at the       
,bourse1 or to speak in the ,chamber2   
you1 young men1 who have repeated with  
many others in our first ,meditation the
 oath that you will defend your         
happiness in defending your wife1 what  
can you oppose to these desires of hers 
which are so natural8 ,for1 with these  
creatures of fire1 to live is to feel2  
the moment they cease to experience     
emotion they are dead4 ,the law in      
virtue of which you take your position  
produces in her this involuntary act of 
minotaurism4 ,there is one sequel1 said 
,d',alembert1 to the laws of movement4  
,well1 then1 where are your means of    
defence8-- ,where1 indeed8  ,alas6 if   
your wife has not yet kissed the apple  

of the ,serpent1 the ,serpent stands    
before her2 you sleep1 we are awake1 and
 our book begins4  ,without inquiring   
how many husbands1 among the five       
hundred thousand which this book        
concerns1 will be left with the         
predestined2 how many have contracted   
unfortunate marriages2 how many have    
made a bad beginning with their wives2  
and without wishing to ask if there be  
many or few of this numerous band who   
can satisfy the conditions required for 
struggling against the danger which is  
impending1 we intend to expound in the  
second and third part of this work the  
methods of fighting the ,minotaur and   
keeping intact the virtue of wives4 ,but
 if fate1 the devil1 the celibate1      
opportunity1 desire your ruin1 in       
recognizing the progress of all         
intrigues1 in joining in the battles    
which are fought by every home1 you will
 possibly be able to find some          
consolation4 ,many people have such a   
happy disposition1 that on showing to   

them the condition of things and        
explaining to them the why and the      
wherefore1 they scratch their foreheads1
 rub their hands1 stamp on the ground1  
and are satisfied4                      
,,meditation ,,ix4                      
,,epilogue4  ,faithful to our promise1  
this first part has indicated the       
general causes which bring all marriages
 to the crises which we are about to    
describe2 and1 in tracing the steps of  
this conjugal preamble1 we have also    
pointed out the way in which the        
catastrophe is to be avoided1 for we    
have pointed out the errors by which it 
is brought about4  ,but these first     
considerations would be incomplete if1  
after endeavoring to throw some light   
upon the inconsistency of our ideas1 of 
our manners and of our laws1 with regard
 to a question which concerns the life  
of almost all living beings1 we did not 
endeavor to make plain1 in a short      
peroration1 the political causes of the 
infirmity which pervades all modern     

society4 ,after having exposed the      
secret vices of marriage1 would it not  
be an inquiry worthy of philosophers to 
search out the causes which have        
rendered it so vicious8  ,the system of 
law and of manners which so far directs 
women and controls marriage in ,france1 
is the outcome of ancient beliefs and   
traditions which are no longer in       
accordance with the eternal principles  
of reason and of justice1 brought to    
light by the great ,revolution of #aghi4
  ,three great disturbances have        
agitated ,france2 the conquest of the   
country by the ,romans1 the             
establishment of ,christianity and the  
invasion of the ,franks4 ,each of these 
events has left a deep impress upon the 
soil1 upon the laws1 upon the manners   
and upon the intellect of the nation4   
,greece having one foot on ,europe and  
the other on ,asia1 was influenced by   
her voluptuous climate in the choice of 
her marriage institutions2 she received 
them from the ,east1 where her          

philosophers1 her legislators and her   
poets went to study the abstruse        
antiquities of ,egypt and ,chaldea4 ,the
 absolute seclusion of women which was  
necessitated under the burning sun of   
,asia prevailed under the laws of       
,greece and ,ionia4 ,the women remained 
in confinement within the marbles of the
 gyneceum4 ,the country was reduced to  
the condition of a city1 to a narrow    
territory1 and the courtesans who were  
connected with art and religion by so   
many ties1 were sufficient to satisfy   
the first passions of the young men1 who
 were few in number1 since their        
strength was elsewhere taken up in the  
violent exercises of that training which
 was demanded of them by the military   
system of those heroic times4  ,at the  
beginning of her royal career ,rome1    
having sent to ,greece to seek such     
principles of legislation as might suit 
the sky of ,italy1 stamped upon the     
forehead of the married woman the brand 
of complete servitude4 ,the senate      

understood the importance of virtue in a
 republic1 hence the severity of manners
 in the excessive development of the    
marital and paternal power4 ,the        
dependence of the woman on her husband  
is found inscribed on every code4 ,the  
seclusion prescribed by the ,east       
becomes a duty1 a moral obligation1 a   
virtue4 ,on these principles were raised
 temples to modesty and temples         
consecrated to the sanctity of marriage2
 hence1 sprang the institution of       
censors1 the law of dowries1 the        
sumptuary laws1 the respect for matrons 
and all the characteristics of the      
,roman law4 ,moreover1 three acts of    
feminine violation either accomplished  
or attempted1 produced three            
revolutions6 ,and was it not a grand    
event1 sanctioned by the decrees of the 
country1 that these illustrious women   
should make their appearances on the    
political arena6 ,those noble ,roman    
women1 who were obliged to be either    
brides or mothers1 passed their life in 

retirement engaged in educating the     
masters of the world4 ,rome had no      
courtesans because the youth of the city
 were engaged in eternal war4 ,if1 later
 on1 dissoluteness appeared1 it merely  
resulted from the despotism of emperors2
 and still the prejudices founded upon  
ancient manners were so influential that
 ,rome never saw a woman on a stage4    
,these facts are not put forth idly in  
scanning the history of marriage in     
,france4  ,after the conquest of ,gaul1 
the ,romans imposed their laws upon the 
conquered2 but they were incapable of   
destroying both the profound respect    
which our ancestors entertained for     
women and the ancient superstitions     
which made women the immediate oracles  
of ,god4 ,the ,roman laws ended by      
prevailing1 to the exclusion of all     
others1 in this country once known as   
the land of written law1 or ,gallia     
togata1 and their ideas of marriage     
penetrated more or less into the land of
 customs4  ,but1 during the conflict of 

laws with manners1 the ,franks invaded  
the ,gauls and gave to the country the  
dear name of ,france4 ,these warriors   
came from the ,north and brought the    
system of gallantry which had originated
 in their western regions1 where the    
mingling of the sexes did not require in
 those icy climates the jealous         
precautions of the ,east4 ,the women of 
that time elevated the privations of    
that kind of life by the exaltation of  
their sentiments4 ,the drowsy minds of  
the day made necessary those varied     
forms of delicate solicitation1 that    
versatility of address1 the fancied     
repulse of coquetry1 which belong to the
 system whose principles have been      
unfolded in our ,first ,part1 as        
admirably suited to the temperate clime 
of ,france4  ,to the ,east1 then1 belong
 the passion and the delirium of        
passion1 the long brown hair1 the harem1
 the amorous divinities1 the splendor1  
the poetry of love and the monuments of 
love4-- ,to the ,west1 the liberty of   

wives1 the sovereignty of their blond   
locks1 gallantry1 the fairy life of     
love1 the secrecy of passion1 the       
profound ecstasy of the soul1 the sweet 
feelings of melancholy and the constancy
 of love4  ,these two systems1 starting 
from opposite points of the globe1 have 
come into collision in ,france2 in      
,france1 where one part of the country1 
,languedoc1 was attracted by ,oriental  
traditions1 while the other1            
,languedoil1 was the native land of a   
creed which attributes to woman a       
magical power4 ,in the ,languedoil1 love
 necessitates mystery1 in the           
,languedoc1 to see is to love4  ,at the 
height of this struggle came the        
triumphant entry of ,christianity into  
,france1 and there it was preached by   
women1 and there it consecrated the     
divinity of a woman who in the forests  
of ,brittany1 of ,vendee and of         
,ardennes took1 under the name of       
,notre-,dame1 the place of more than one
 idol in the hollow of old ,druidic     

oaks4  ,if the religion of ,christ1     
which is above all things a code of     
morality and politics1 gave a soul to   
all living beings1 proclaimed that      
equality of all in the sight of ,god1   
and by such principles as these         
fortified the chivalric sentiments of   
the ,north1 this advantage was          
counterbalanced by the fact1 that the   
sovereign pontiff resided at ,rome1 of  
which seat he considered himself the    
lawful heir1 through the universality of
 the ,latin tongue1 which became that of
 ,europe during the ,middle ,ages1 and  
through the keen interest taken by      
monks1 writers and lawyers in           
establishing the ascendency of certain  
codes1 discovered by a soldier in the   
sack of ,amalfi4  ,these two principles 
of the servitude and the sovereignty of 
women retain possession of the ground1  
each of them defended by fresh          
arguments4  ,the ,salic law1 which was a
 legal error1 was a triumph for the     
principle of political and civil        

servitude for women1 but it did not     
diminish the power which ,french manners
 accorded them1 for the enthusiasm of   
chivalry which prevailed in ,europe     
supplanted the party of manners against 
the party of law4  ,and in this way was 
created that strange phenomenon which   
since that time has characterized both  
our national despotism and our          
legislation2 for ever since those epochs
 which seemed to presage the            
,revolution1 when the spirit of         
philosophy rose and reflected upon the  
history of the past1 ,france has been   
the prey of many convulsions4           
,feudalism1 the ,crusades1 the          
,reformation1 the struggle between the  
monarchy and the aristocracy4 ,despotism
 and ,priestcraft have so closely held  
the country within their clutches1 that 
woman still remains the subject of      
strange counter-opinions1 each springing
 from one of the three great movements  
to which we have referred4 ,was it      
possible that the woman question should 

be discussed and woman's political      
education and marriage should be        
ventilated when feudalism threatened the
 throne1 when reform menaced both king  
and barons1 and the people1 between the 
hierarchy and the empire1 were          
forgotten8 ,according to a saying of    
,madame ,necker1 women1 amid these great
 movements1 were like the cotton wool   
put into a case of porcelain4 ,they were
 counted for nothing1 but without them  
everything would have been broken4  ,a  
married woman1 then1 in ,france presents
 the spectacle of a queen out at        
service1 of a slave1 at once free and a 
prisoner2 a collision between these two 
principles which frequently occurred1   
produced odd situations by the thousand4
 ,and then1 woman was physically little 
understood1 and what was actually       
sickness in her1 was considered a       
prodigy1 witchcraft or monstrous        
turpitude4 ,in those days these         
creatures1 treated by the law as        
reckless children1 and put under        

guardianship1 were by the manners of the
 time deified and adored4 ,like the     
freedmen of emperors1 they disposed of  
crowns1 they decided battles1 they      
awarded fortunes1 they inspired crimes  
and revolutions1 wonderful acts of      
virtue1 by the mere flash of their      
glances1 and yet they possessed nothing 
and were not even possessors of         
themselves4 ,they were equally fortunate
 and unfortunate4 ,armed with their     
weakness and strong in instinct1 they   
launched out far beyond the sphere which
 the law allotted them1 showing         
themselves omnipotent for evil1 but     
impotent for good2 without merit in the 
virtues that were imposed upon them1    
without excuse in their vices2 accused  
of ignorance and yet denied an          
education2 neither altogether mothers   
nor altogether wives4 ,having all the   
time to conceal their passions1 while   
they fostered them1 they submitted to   
the coquetry of the ,franks1 while they 
were obliged like ,roman women1 to stay 

within the ramparts of their castles and
 bring up those who were to be warriors4
 ,while no system was definitely decided
 upon by legislation as to the position 
of women1 their minds were left to      
follow their inclinations1 and there are
 found among them as many who resemble  
,marion ,delorme as those who resemble  
,cornelia2 there are vices among them1  
but there are as many virtues4 ,these   
were creatures as incomplete as the laws
 which governed them2 they were         
considered by some as a being midway    
between man and the lower animals1 as a 
malignant beast which the laws could not
 too closely fetter1 and which nature   
had destined1 with so many other things1
 to serve the pleasure of men2 while    
others held woman to be an angel in     
exile1 a source of happiness and love1  
the only creature who responded to the  
highest feelings of man1 while her      
miseries were to be recompensed by the  
idolatry of every heart4 ,how could the 
consistency1 which was wanting in a     

political system1 be expected in the    
general manners of the nation8  ,and so 
woman became what circumstances and men 
made her1 instead of being what the     
climate and native institutions should  
have made her2 sold1 married against her
 taste1 in accordance with the ,patria  
potestas of the ,romans1 at the same    
time that she fell under the marital    
despotism which desired her seclusion1  
she found herself tempted to take the   
only reprisals which were within her    
power4 ,then she became a dissolute     
creature1 as soon as men ceased to be   
intently occupied in intestine war1 for 
the same reason that she was a virtuous 
woman in the midst of civil             
disturbances4 ,every educated man can   
fill in this outline1 for we seek from  
movements like these the lessons and not
 the poetic suggestion which they yield4
  ,the ,revolution was too entirely     
occupied in breaking down and building  
up1 had too many enemies1 or followed   
perhaps too closely on the deplorable   

times witnessed under the regency and   
under ,louis ,,xv1 to pay any attention 
to the position which women should      
occupy in the social order4  ,the       
remarkable men who raised the immortal  
monument which our codes present were   
almost all old-fashioned students of law
 deeply imbued with a spirit of ,roman  
jurisprudence2 and moreover they were   
not the founders of any political       
institutions4 ,sons of the ,revolution1 
they believed1 in accordance with that  
movement1 that the law of divorce wisely
 restricted and the bond of dutiful     
submission were sufficient ameliorations
 of the previous marriage law4 ,when    
that former order of things was         
remembered1 the change made by the new  
legislation seemed immense4  ,at the    
present day the question as to which of 
these two principles shall triumph rests
 entirely in the hands of our wise      
legislators4 ,the past has teaching     
which should bear fruit in the future4  
,have we lost all sense of the eloquence

 of fact8  ,the principles of the ,east 
resulted in the existence of eunuchs and
 seraglios2 the spurious social standing
 of ,france has brought in the plague of
 courtesans and the more deadly plague  
of our marriage system2 and thus1 to use
 the language of a contemporary1 the    
,east sacrifices to paternity men and   
the principle of justice2 ,france1 women
 and modesty4 ,neither the ,east nor    
,france has attained the goal which     
their institutions point to2 for that is
 happiness4 ,the man is not more loved  
by the women of a harem than the husband
 is sure of being in ,france1 as the    
father of his children2 and marrying is 
not worth what it costs4 ,it is time to 
offer no more sacrifice to this         
institution1 and to amass a larger sum  
of happiness in the social state by     
making our manners and our institution  
conformable to our climate4             
,constitutional government1 a happy     
mixture of two extreme political        
systems1 despotism and democracy1       

suggests by the necessity of blending   
also the two principles of marriage1    
which so far clash together in ,france4 
,the liberty which we boldly claim for  
young people is the only remedy for the 
host of evils whose source we have      
pointed out1 by exposing the            
inconsistencies resulting from the      
bondage in which girls are kept4 ,let us
 give back to youth the indulgence of   
those passions1 those coquetries1 love  
and its terrors1 love and its delights1 
and that fascinating company which      
followed the coming of the ,franks4 ,at 
this vernal season of life no fault is  
irreparable1 and ,hymen will come forth 
from the bosom of experiences1 armed    
with confidence1 stripped of hatred1 and
 love in marriage will be justified1    
because it will have had the privilege  
of comparison4  ,in this change of      
manners the disgraceful plague of public
 prostitution will perish of itself4 ,it
 is especially at the time when the man 
possesses the frankness and timidity of 

adolescence1 that in his pursuit of     
happiness he is competent to meet and   
struggle with great and genuine passions
 of the heart4 ,the soul is happy in    
making great efforts of whatever kind2  
provided that it can act1 that it can   
stir and move1 it makes little          
difference1 even though it exercise its 
power against itself4 ,in this          
observation1 the truth of which         
everybody can see1 there may be found   
one secret of successful legislation1 of
 tranquillity and happiness4 ,and then1 
the pursuit of learning has now become  
so highly developed that the most       
tempestuous of our coming ,mirabeaus can
 consume his energy either in the       
indulgence of a passion or the study of 
a science4 ,how many young people have  
been saved from debauchery by           
self-chosen labors or the persistent    
obstacles put in the way of a first     
love1 a love that was pure6 ,and what   
young girl does not desire to prolong   
the delightful childhood of sentiment1  

is not proud to have her nature known1  
and has not felt the secret tremblings  
of timidity1 the modesty of her secret  
communings with herself1 and wished to  
oppose them to the young desires of a   
lover inexperienced as herself6 ,the    
gallantry of the ,franks and the        
pleasures which attend it should then be
 the portion of youth1 and then would   
naturally result a union of soul1 of    
mind1 of character1 of habits1 of       
temperament and of fortune1 such as     
would produce the happy equilibrium     
necessary for the felicity of the       
married couple4 ,this system would rest 
upon foundations wider and freer1 if    
girls were subjected to a carefully     
calculated system of disinheritance2 or 
if1 in order to force men to choose only
 those who promised happiness by their  
virtues1 their character or their       
talents1 they married as in the ,united 
,states without dowry4  ,in that case1  
the system adopted by the ,romans could 
advantageously be applied to the married

 women who when they were girls used    
their liberty4 ,being exclusively       
engaged in the early education of their 
children1 which is the most important of
 all maternal obligations1 occupied in  
creating and maintaining the happiness  
of the household1 so admirably described
 in the fourth book of ,julie1 they     
would be in their houses like the women 
of ancient ,rome1 living images of      
,providence1 which reigns over all1 and 
yet is nowhere visible4 ,in this case1  
the laws covering the infidelity of the 
wife should be extremely severe4 ,they  
should make the penalty disgrace1 rather
 than inflict painful or coercive       
sentences4 ,france has witnessed the    
spectacle of women riding asses for the 
pretended crime of magic1 and many an   
innocent woman has died of shame4 ,in   
this may be found the secret of future  
marriage legislation4 ,the young girls  
of ,miletus delivered themselves from   
marriage by voluntary death2 the senate 
condemned the suicides to be dragged    

naked on a hurdle1 and the other virgins
 condemned themselves for life4  ,women 
and marriage will never be respected    
until we have that radical change in    
manners which we are now begging for4   
,this profound thought is the ruling    
principle in the two finest productions 
of an immortal genius4 ,emile and ,la   
,nouvelle ,heloise are nothing more than
 two eloquent pleas for the system4 ,the
 voice there raised will resound through
 the ages1 because it points to the real
 motives of true legislation1 and the   
manners which will prevail in the       
future4 ,by placing children at the     
breast of their mothers1 ,jean-,jacques 
rendered an immense service to the cause
 of virtue2 but his age was too deeply  
gangrened with abuses to understand the 
lofty lessons unfolded in those two     
poems2 it is right to add also that the 
philosopher was in these works          
overmastered by the poet1 and in leaving
 in the heart of ,julie after her       
marriage some vestiges of her first     

love1 he was led astray by the          
attractiveness of a poetic situation1   
more touching indeed1 but less useful   
than the truth which he wished to       
display4  ,nevertheless1 if marriage in 
,france is an unlimited contract to     
which men agree with a silent           
understanding that they may thus give   
more relish to passion1 more curiosity1 
more mystery to love1 more fascination  
to women2 if a woman is rather an       
ornament to the drawing-room1 a         
fashion-plate1 a portmanteau1 than a    
being whose functions in the order      
politic are an essential part of the    
country's prosperity and the nation's   
glory1 a creature whose endeavors in    
life vie in utility with those of       
men--,i admit that all the above theory1
 all these long considerations sink into
 nothingness at the prospect of such an 
important destiny6----  ,but after      
having squeezed a pound of actualities  
in order to obtain one drop of          
philosophy1 having paid sufficient      

homage to that passion for the historic1
 which is so dominant in our time1 let  
us turn our glance upon the manners of  
the present period4 ,let us take the cap
 and bells and the coxcomb of which     
,rabelais once made a sceptre1 and let  
us pursue the course of this inquiry    
without giving to one joke more         
seriousness than comports with it1 and  
without giving to serious things the    
jesting tone which ill befits them4