,note3 ,images of the original pages are available through ,internet ,archive4 ,see https3_/_/archive4org_/details_/howtobem anbookfo#jjnewcrich ,transcriber's note3 ,text in italics is enclosed by underscores 7italics74 ,,how ,,to ,,be ,a ,,man3 ,a ,book for ,boys1 ,containing ,useful ,hints on the ,formation of ,character4 by ,,harvey ,,newcomb1 ,author of the 8,young ,lady',s ,guide10 etc4 ,boston3 ,gould1 ,kendall1 and ,lincoln4 #ahdg4 ,entered according to ,act of ,congress1 in the year #ahdf1 ,by ,gould1 ,kendall1 and ,lincoln1 ,in the ,clerk's ,office of the ,district ,court of the ,district of ,massachusetts4 ,stereotyped at the ,boston ,type and ,stereotype ,foundry ,,preface4 8,who reads a preface80 ,many do not2 but jump at once into the middle of a book4 ,but it is well to know something about a book1 before reading it2 and who so likely to give you information respecting the contents of a book as the ,author himself8 ,i wish to see the youth of my country come forward upon the stage of life1 models of excellence1 with characters formed for the times in which they are to act4 ,how much influence my book may have1 in securing such a result1 ,i cannot tell2 but my design in writing it has been1 to contribute something toward forming the character of some of those who are to be our future electors1 legislators1 governors1 judges1 ministers1 lawyers1 and physicians1--after the best model2 and1 from the kind reception of my former attempts to benefit ,american youth1 ,i trust they will give a candid hearing to the few hints contained in the following pages4 ,it is intended for boys1--or1 if you please1 for young gentlemen1--in early youth1 from eight or ten to fifteen or sixteen years of age4 ,it covers substantially the same ground occupied by a work for girls issued simultaneously with it2 and some of the chapters are identical in the two books1 while others are entirely different1 and some partially so4 ,it is the hope of the ,author1 that every one who reads it1 will strive to be a man1 in the highest sense of the term4 ,,january1 #ahdg4 ,,contents4 ,i4 ,,on ,,childhood ,,and ,,youth #g ,,ii4 ,,nature ,,and ,,objects ,,of ,,education #ab ,,iii4 ,,piety1 ,,as ,,the ,,spring ,,of ,,action ,,and ,,regulator ,,of ,,the ,,soul #ag ,,iv4 ,,filial ,,piety #bd ,v4 ,,treatment ,,of ,,brothers ,,and ,,sisters ,,and ,,others ,,in ,,the ,,family #cg ,,vi4 ,,behavior ,,at ,,school #de ,,vii4 ,,behavior ,,at ,,table #ea ,,viii4 ,,behavior ,,at ,,family ,,worship #ef ,,ix4 ,,private ,,prayer #ei ,x4 ,,keeping ,,the ,,sabbath #fd ,,xi4 ,,habits #hc ,,xii4 ,,education ,,of ,,the ,,body #ajj ,,xiii4 ,,on ,,useful ,,labor #aji ,,xiv4 ,,education ,,of ,,the ,,heart #aba ,,xv4 ,,education ,,of ,,the ,,mind #ade ,,xvi4 ,,reading #aee ,,xvii4 ,,writing #afa ,,xviii4 ,,indolence #afe ,,xix4 ,,on ,,doing ,,one ,,thing ,,at ,a ,,time #afh ,,xx4 ,,on ,,finishing ,,what ,,is ,,begun #agj ,,xxi4 ,,choice ,,of ,,society ,,and ,,formation ,,of ,,friendships #agb ,,xxii4 ,,bad ,,company--,,mischievousness #agf ,,xxiii4 ,,on ,,amusements #aha ,,xxiv4 ,,government ,,of ,,the ,,tongue #aib ,,xxv4 ,,on ,,the ,,art ,,of ,,agreeable ,,and ,,profitable ,,conversation #aih ,,xxvi4 ,,inquisitiveness #bjf ,,xxvii4 ,,on ,,the ,,importance ,,of ,,being ,,able ,,to ,,say ,,no #bji ,,xxviii4 ,,on ,,being ,,useful #bab ,,xxix4 ,,on ,,being ,,contented #baf ,,xxx4 ,,union ,,of ,,serious ,,piety ,,with ,,habitual ,,cheerfulness #bbj ,,how ,,to ,,be ,a ,,man4 ,,chapter ,i4 ,,on ,,childhood ,,and ,,youth4 ,in one sense1 very young persons are apt to think too much of themselves--in another1 not enough4 ,when they think they know more than their parents and teachers1 or other elderly people1 and so set up to be bold and smart1 then they think too much of themselves4 ,it used to be said1 when ,i was a boy1 that 8,young folks think old folks are fools2 but old folks know young folks are fools40 ,although ,i would be very far indeed from calling you fools1 because you have already acquired much knowledge1 and have the capacity for acquiring much more1 yet1 with reference to such knowledge as is acquired by experience1 and in comparison with what there is to be known1 there is 8more truth than poetry10 in the old adage4 ,but1 when young people suppose it is of no consequence what they do1 or how they behave1 because they are young1 then they do not think enough of themselves4 ,should you see a man riding with a little stick for a whip1 you would not think his stick worth your notice at all2 but the biggest tree that ever ,i saw grew from a little willow stick that a man rode home with1 and then planted in his garden4 ,you have sat under the beautiful shade of a great elm-tree2 and when you have looked upon its tall1 majestic trunk1 and its great and strong branches1 with their ten thousand little limbs waving gracefully before the wind1 you have been filled with admiration and delight4 8,what a mighty tree60 you say2 8,i wonder how long it has been growing40 ,but the seed of that tree1 when it was planted1 many years ago1 was no bigger than a mustard-seed2 and if you had seen the little tiny sprout that your grandfather was tying up with so much care1 when it was a few years old1 you would have wondered that a man should think so much of such an insignificant twig4 ,but1 if he had let it grow up as it began1 without any care1 it never would have been the stately tree it is now4 ,that was the most important period in its life1 when it was a little twig4 ,it began to lean over1 and grow crooked and ugly4 ,if it had not been trained up then1 it would have continued to grow worse and worse2 and1 after it had grown to be a tree1 it could not have been straightened at all4 ,now1 you are1 in some respects1 like this little twig4 ,you1 too1 have just begun to be2 and now your character is pliable1 like the young tree4 ,but1 unlike it1 your being is to have no end4 ,instead of growing a few hundred years1 like a great tree1 you are to live forever4 ,and every thing that you do now must have an influence in forming your character for your whole being4 ,in this latter sense1 you cannot think too much of yourself2 for you are the germ of an immortal being4 ,did you ever stand by the shore of a placid lake or pond1 in a calm1 sunny day1 and throw a little stone into its smooth1 silvery waters8 ,did you observe how1 first1 a little ripple was formed around the place where it struck1 and this was followed by a wave1 and then1 beyond1 another1 and another1 till the whole surface of the water was disturbed8 ,it was a very little thing that you did2 and yet it agitated a great body of water4 ,so it is with childhood and youth2 the most insignificant action you perform1 in its influence upon your character1 will reach through the whole period of your existence4 ,it will not do for you to say1 8,it is no matter how ,i behave now2 ,i shall do differently when ,i am a man40 8,but would you have a little boy act like a man80 ,not exactly4 ,i would not have him affect the man1 and appear as though he thought himself a full-grown gentleman4 ,i would not have him imitate the toad1 which undertook to swell to the size of an ox1 and in the operation burst open4 ,but1 ,i would have him manly in his childishness4 ,i would have him courageous1 to meet difficulties1 noble and generous in his feelings and actions1 and courteous in his manners1 always1 in all companies1 and in all places1 behaving in a manner becoming a person of his age4 ,a well-bred boy1 who knows what is becoming and proper1 and carries it out in his behavior1 is already a gentleman4 ,but the mischievous1 rude1 unmannerly lad1 who pays no regard to propriety of conduct1 will never be a gentleman4 ,and a boy who has the courage to face difficulties1 and the energy and perseverance to accomplish what he undertakes1 is already a man2 while the indolent1 cowardly1 8,i can't0 boy1 will never be a man4 ,it is my desire1 in this book1 to lead you to the formation of a solid1 energetic1 manly character1 combined with true gentility of manners2 and then you will be both a man and a gentleman4 ,very young persons sometimes live in an ideal world4 ,what they imagine in their plays seems real4 ,they have a little fairy world in their minds1 in which they live more1 and take greater delight1 than they do in what is real and true4 ,to this ,i do not object1 within certain bounds2 but often it becomes a passion1 so that they lose all relish for sober1 every-day life4 ,for such creatures of fancy real life is too dull1 and what concerns realities1 too grave4 ,perhaps they will not like my book1 because it treats of things true and real4 ,but ,i beg them to consider that1 through the whole of their being1 they are to be concerned chiefly with realities2 and therefore1 to do them substantial good1 we must speak to them of things real1 and not of those airy things that belong to the fairy land4 ,but real things are1 truly1 more interesting than the creations of fancy4 ,the things of fancy interest you more only because they appear new and less common4 ,a person who has always lived in the country1 and is used to sitting under the wide-spreading1 shady tree1 would be more pleased with the picture of a tree than with a tree itself4 ,but one brought up in the city would cast away the picture1 and hasten to enjoy the cool shade of the beautiful tree4 ,a castle in the air may please the fancy2 but you want a real house to live in4 ,,chapter ,,ii4 ,,nature ,,and ,,objects ,,of ,,education4 ,perhaps some of my readers1 when they see the title of this chapter1 will think only of confinement in school1 of books1 and of hard study1 and so be inclined to pass over it1 as a dry subject1 which they have so much to do with1 every day1 that they have no wish to think of it in a moment of relaxation4 ,but ,i beg them to stop a minute1 and not throw me away1 among the old school-books1 till they have heard me through4 ,i assure them that ,i use the term education in a far different sense4 ,i think it means much more than going to school and studying books4 ,this is only a small part of education4 ,mr4 ,walker defines education1 8,the formation of manners in youth40 ,but this is a very imperfect definition2 and ,i am afraid there may be found some who would even doubt whether education has any thing to do with manners4 ,mr4 ,webster gives a better definition3--8,education comprehends all that series of instruction and discipline which is intended to enlighten the understanding1 correct the temper1 and form the manners and habits of youth1 and fit them for usefulness in their future stations20--all1 in fact1 that is necessary to make a man or a woman--a gentleman or a lady4 ,the original root1 from which the word education is derived1 means to lead out1 to conduct1 to form1 to fashion1 to beat out1 to forge4 ,it was used with reference to the forging of an instrument out of a piece of metal1 or the chiselling of a statue out of a block of marble4 ,this furnishes a good illustration of my ideas of education4 ,it is a process by which a character is formed out of rude or unwrought materials4 ,it is not confined to mere school learning4 ,a person may be very learned1 and yet not half educated4 ,there are many steps in the process4 ,the ore must first be dug up by the miner2 then smelted at the furnace1 and the metal separated from the dross2 then wrought into bars at the foundry2 afterwards forged by the smith2 and then1 finally1 polished by the finisher4 ,the marble must first be quarried1 or blasted out of the ledge2 then cut into blocks2 then transported2 then wrought with the hammer and chisel2 and finally1 polished4 ,this gives a good idea of education4 ,it is not merely what is done to form the character in school2 but it comprises all the influences which are exerted upon the young1 in training them up and forming their characters4 ,education begins in the family4 ,it is carried forward in the school4 ,it is affected1 for good or for evil1 by the influence of public worship1 lectures1 books1 amusements1 scenery1 companions1 c4 ,in all places and circumstances1 something is doing towards the formation of character4 ,yet there is one important respect in which education1 or the formation of character1 differs essentially from the process described in this illustration4 ,the block of marble1 or the piece of metal1 is passive2 the whole process is performed upon it by another4 ,but no person can be educated in this way2 every one that is educated must be active4 ,you may be drilled through all the schools1 and have every advantage at home and in society2 and yet1 without your own active coperation1 you can never be educated4 ,but1 if you are determined to be educated1 you will turn every thing to some account4 ,every thing will be a school to you2 for you will make contributions to your stock of knowledge from every object you see2 and by seeking to act discreetly1 wisely1 and correctly1 in every place1 you will be constantly forming good habits4 ,like the little busy bee1 you will suck honey from every flower4 ,you will commune with your own heart upon your bed1 and exercise your powers of thought in useful meditation4 ,you will converse with ,god in your secret place1 and seek wisdom of ,him who has promised to give liberally to those that ask4 ,in company1 you will be more ready to hear than to speak2 and you will never meet with any so ignorant but you may learn from them some useful lessons4 ,you will exercise your mind upon every person and object you meet4 ,you will study philosophy in the fields1 by the brooks1 on the hills1 in the valleys1 and upon the broad canopy of heaven4 ,it has been well observed1 that the difference between a wise man and a fool is1 that one goes through the world with his eyes wide open1 while the other keeps them shut4 ,you will perceive1 then1 that your education is continually going on1 whether you think of it or not4 ,your character is constantly forming4 ,it is your business to keep out of the way of bad influences1 and submit yourself to the moulding of the good4 ,keep in mind the great truth that you are forming a character for eternity4 ,some years ago1 there were found on the banks of the ,mississippi ,river the tracks of a human being1 deeply imprinted in the solid rock4 ,these tracks were made in the soft clay1 which in time became hardened1 and formed into stone2--now1 the impression is immovable4 ,you now resemble this soft clay4 ,every thing with which you come in contact makes an impression4 ,but1 as you grow older1 your character acquires solidity1 and is less and less affected by these influences1 till at length it will be like the hard stone1 and the impressions made upon you at this season will become confirmed habits4 ,all the impressions made upon your character ought to be such as will not need to be removed4 ,washington ,allston1 the great painter1 had been a long time at work on a most magnificent painting4 ,he had nearly completed it1 when his keen eye discovered some defects in a portion of the piece4 ,he hastily drew his rough brush over that portion of the picture1 intending to paint it anew4 ,but in the midst of his plans1 death seized him1 and his painting remains1 just as he left it4 ,no other person can carry out the conception that was in his mind4 ,if you allow wrong impressions to be made upon your forming character1 death may meet you with his stern mandate1 and fix them forever1 as immovable as it left the rough print of the coarse brush upon ,allston's canvass4 ,,chapter ,,iii4 ,,piety1 ,,as ,,the ,,spring ,,of ,,action1 ,,and ,,regulator ,,of ,,the ,,soul4 ,a watch1 to one who had never seen such a piece of mechanism before1 would be a great wonder4 ,it is an object of much curiosity to the natives of savage and barbarous tribes1 visited by the missionaries4 ,it seems to speak and move1 as though instinct with life4 ,i have read1 somewhere1 of a poor savage1 who1 seeing a white man's watch lying on the ground1 and hearing it tick1 supposed it to be some venomous reptile1 and1 with a stone1 dashed it in pieces4 ,a watch is an object of no less wonder to a child4 ,children are full of curiosity1 as my readers well know4 ,they wish to examine every thing they see--to take it in pieces1 and see how it is made4 ,i dare say my readers remember the time when they sat on their father's knee1 and modestly requested him to show them the little wheels of his watch4 ,if ,i could sit down with my young friends1 and take my watch in pieces1 ,i would teach them a useful lesson4 ,i would show them how a watch resembles a human being4 ,there is the case1 which may be taken off1 and put by itself1 and still the watch will go as well as ever4 ,in this respect1 it is like the human body4 ,death separates it from the soul1 and yet the soul remains1 with all its active powers4 ,it still lives4 ,the inside of the watch1 too1 resembles the soul4 ,it has a great many different parts1 all working together in harmony--a great many wheels1 all moving in concert4 ,so the soul has a great many different powers or faculties1 all designed to operate in concert with each other1 as the understanding1 the judgment1 the conscience1 the will1 the affections1 the memory1 the passions1 desires1 c42 and each one of these has a part to act1 as important for the man as the several wheels and springs of the watch4 ,if every part of the watch is in order1 and in its proper place1 it will keep exact time2 but1 if one wheel gets disordered1 it will derange the whole4 ,the secret power that moves the watch is unperceived4 ,if you examine1 you will see a large wheel1 with a smooth surface1 round which is wound a long chain1 attached to another wheel1 with ridges for the chain to run upon4 ,inside of the first-named wheel is the main-spring1 which1 by means of the chain1 moves the whole machinery4 ,the ,,will is the main-spring of the soul4 ,by a mysterious1 invisible chain1 it holds all the powers of the soul and body at its command4 ,not only the operations of the mind1 but the motions of the body are controlled by the will4 ,but1 if there were no check upon the main-spring of the watch1 it would not give the time of day4 ,it would set all the wheels in rapid motion1 and in a few moments the watch would run down4 ,to prevent this1 there is a balance-wheel1 which turns backwards and forwards1 by means of a fine spring1 called the hair-spring1 and so keeps the whole machinery in a regular motion4 ,to this is attached a little lever1 called the regulator1 which1 by a gentle touch1 works on this delicate spring1 so as to move the balance-wheel faster or slower1 as the case may be1 to make the movement exact and regular4 ,now1 if there were no checks on the will1 it would run on impetuously in its course1 without regard to consequences4 ,and this we often see in persons called wilful1 self-willed1 headstrong4 ,children are often so2 if let alone1 their stubborn will would lead them to rush on headlong to their own destruction4 ,without meaning to be very accurate in these illustrations1 ,i shall call judgment the balance-wheel4 ,this is the faculty which perceives1 compares1 and decides1 keeps the mind balanced1 and prevents its running to extremes either way4 ,the hair-spring and regulator of the watch ,i shall compare with conscience4 ,a very slight touch of the regulator moves the hair-spring1 and gives a quicker or a slower motion to the balance-wheel4 ,but1 if the watch is out of order1 oftentimes the movement of the regulator has no effect upon it4 ,so1 when the soul is in order1 a very slight touch of conscience will affect the judgment and regulate the will4 ,but often1 the soul is so much out of order1 that conscience will have no effect upon it4 ,but who touches the regulator of the watch8 ,there is nothing in the watch itself to do this4 ,the power that moves the regulator is applied to it4 ,so1 the conscience is moved4 ,the ,word of ,god enlightens the conscience1 and the ,spirit of ,god applies the word4 ,and this brings me to the point which ,i had in my mind when ,i began this chapter4 ,what a poor thing a watch is1 when it is out of order4 ,it is of no use4 ,a watch is made to keep the time of day2 but1 when it is out of order1 it will keep no time4 ,or1 if it is in order1 and yet not regulated1 it will not keep the right time4 ,now until the heart is changed by the grace of ,god1 the soul is out of order4 ,it does not answer the purpose for which it was made4 ,the will is wrong2 the judgment is wrong2 the conscience is wrong4 ,and1 whatever cultivation may be bestowed upon the mind1 it will not act aright4 ,in the very beginning1 then1 you want piety1 as the main-spring of action1 and the regulator of the soul4 ,without this1 you are not prepared to begin any thing aright4 ,indeed1 without it1 you have no sufficient motive to action4 ,you seem to be toiling and laboring and wearying yourself for nothing4 ,but piety towards ,god gives a new impulse to the mind4 ,when you set out to improve your mind1 if you have no piety1 the object to be gained by it is very small4 ,it can secure to you no more than1 perhaps1 a little additional enjoyment1 for the brief space you are to continue in this world4 ,but piety opens to you a wide field of usefulness in this life1 and the prospect of going forward in the improvement of your mind as long as eternity endures4 ,it must1 therefore1 give a new spring and vigor to all the faculties of the soul4 ,it does more4 ,it regulates the powers of the mind1 and the affections of the heart1 and gives a right direction to them all4 ,i would persuade you1 then1 as the first and great thing1 to seek ,god4 ,remember what ,christ has said1--8,seek ye first the kingdom of ,god and his righteousness1 and all these things shall be added unto you40 ,here is the promise that you shall have all else that is needful1 if you seek ,god first4 ,yield your heart to him1 and have his kingdom set up there4 ,let him rule in your heart1 and devote yourself to his service1 and he will supply all your need4 ,this1 also1 will give a right direction to all your faculties1 and lay a good foundation of character4 ,but1 without it1 you will be like a watch without a balance-wheel or a regulator2 you will be fit neither for this life nor that which is to come4 ,and1 it is of the utmost importance that you should become pious now1 while you are young4 ,if you would form a good character1 you must have a good foundation laid at the beginning4 ,nothing but this can make a good foundation4 ,all your habits ought to be formed and settled upon religious principles4 ,religious motives should enter into all your efforts to improve your mind and cultivate your affections4 ,and1 should you neglect religion now1 and afterwards1 by the grace of ,god1 be led to devote yourself to him1 you will find it hard and difficult to overcome the wrong habits of mind and conduct which you will have formed4 ,piety1 then1 is the first thing to be considered1 in the formation of character4 ,and remember1 also1 that you are forming character for eternity2 and that your whole being1 through a never ending existence1 is to be affected by the character which you form now in your childhood and youth4 ,if you lay the foundation of your character now in the love and fear of ,god1 it will rise higher and higher1 in excellence1 beauty1 and loveliness1 for ever and ever4 ,but if you lay the foundation in selfishness and sin1 and build accordingly1 it will forever be sinking lower in degradation and deeper in wretchedness4 ,,chapter ,,iv4 ,,filial ,,piety4 ,next to your duty to ,god comes your duty to your parents2 and you can never form an excellent1 amiable1 and lovely character1 unless the foundation of it is laid in filial piety1 as well as in piety towards ,god4 ,solomon says to the young1 8,hear the instruction of thy father1 and forsake not the law of thy mother2 for they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head1 and chains about thy neck40 ,nothing will make you appear so lovely in the eyes of others as a dutiful behaviour towards your parents2 and nothing will make you appear so unamiable and unlovely as a disrespectful1 disobedient carriage towards them4 ,no ornament sits so gracefully upon youth as filial piety2 no outward adorning can compare with it4 ,filial piety calls into exercise feelings towards your parents1 similar to those which piety towards ,god calls into exercise towards him2 such as esteem and veneration of his character1 love to his person1 confidence in his word1 submission to his authority1 and penitence for offences against him4 ,when the heart is habituated to the exercise of these feelings towards parents1 it is prepared the more readily to exercise them towards ,god4 ,the promises which ,god has made to those who honor their parents1 and his threatenings against those who dishonor them1 are similar to those which he has made respecting honor and obedience to himself4 ,you owe it1 therefore1 to ,god1 to exercise filial piety1 because he has required it1 and because it is one of the means he employs to cultivate piety towards himself4 ,gratitude1 also1 should lead to filial piety1 as well as to piety towards ,god2 for what ,god is to man1 only in a lower sense1 the parent is to his child4 ,your parents are1 under ,god1 the authors of your being4 ,the greater part of parents' lives is spent in rearing1 supporting1 and educating their children4 ,for this they wear out their strength in anxious care and toil2 they watch beside the bed of their children when they are sick1 with tender solicitude and sleepless vigilance2 they labor to provide for them4 ,but good parents are1 most of all1 anxious that their children should grow up intelligent and virtuous1 pious and happy4 ,there is no being but ,god to whom children are so much indebted as to a faithful parent2 and almost all the blessings that ,god bestows upon them come through their parents4 ,filial piety has great influence on future character4 ,one who has never been in the habit of submitting to others1 will always be headstrong and self-willed2 and such a character nobody loves4 ,you cannot always do as you please2 and1 if such is your disposition1 you will always be unhappy when your will is crossed4 ,you will be unwilling to submit to necessary restraints1 and this will irritate1 and keep you in misery2 for you will never see the time in your life when you will be so entirely independent of others that you can have your own way in every thing4 ,even the king on his throne cannot do this4 ,but1 if you have always been in the habit of submitting to your parents1 these necessary restraints will be no burden4 ,if1 then1 you would be respected1 beloved1 and happy1 when you grow up and take your place in society1 you must honor your parents4 ,cultivate the habit of submission to their authority2 of respectful attention to their instructions2 and of affection and reverence to their persons4 ,these are the habits that will make you respected1 beloved1 and happy4 ,but as ,god has joined a curse to parental impiety1 so he makes it punish itself4 ,and thus you will find that it is generally followed with the most dreadful consequences4 ,of this ,i might give many painful examples2 but the narratives would swell my book to an immoderate size4 ,the whole duty of children to parents1 is expressed by ,god himself in one word--,,honor4 ,this word is chosen1 with great felicity1 to express all the various duties of children toward their parents4 ,there is a great deal of meaning in this little word1 honor4 ,do you ask1 8,how shall ,i honor my parents80 ,in the first place1 you must honor them in your heart1 by loving and reverencing them1 and by cultivating a submissive1 obedient disposition4 ,it is not honoring your parents1 to indulge an unsubmissive1 turbulent spirit4 ,to be angry with your parents1 and to feel that their lawful commands are hard or unreasonable1 is dishonoring them4 ,the authority which ,god has given your parents over you is for your good1 that they may restrain you from evil and hurtful practices1 and require you to do what will be1 in the end1 for your benefit4 ,when they restrain you1 or require you to do what is not pleasing to you1 they have a regard to your best interests4 ,to be impatient of restraint1 and to indulge hard feelings toward them1 is doing them great dishonor4 ,if you could read the hearts of your parents1 and see what a struggle it costs them to interfere with your inclinations1 you would feel differently4 ,but these rebellious feelings of yours are not only against your parents1 but against ,god1 who gave them this authority over you4 ,children also honor or dishonor their parents by their words4 ,you honor them1 by addressing them in respectful language1 and in a tone of voice indicating reverence and submission1 giving them those titles that belong to their superior station4 ,an example of this we have in the answer of ,samuel to what he supposed the call of ,eli1--8,here am ,i10--a form of speech used by servants to their masters1 and implying attention to what was said1 and a readiness to execute what was commanded4 ,but parents are dishonored1 when their children answer them gruffly1 or speak in a sharp1 positive1 angry1 or self-important tone2 or when they neglect to accompany their address with the usual titles of respect1 but speak out bluntly1 8,yes10 or 8,no40 ,this shows the state of the heart4 ,and ,i think the reason why it is so difficult1 in these days1 to teach children to say1 8,yes1 sir10 8,no1 ma'am10 c41 is1 that they do not feel in their hearts the respect which these terms imply4 ,you will perceive1 by this remark1 that ,i have no respect for the notion which prevails1 in some quarters1 that these expressions are not genteel4 ,children likewise dishonor their parents1 when they answer back1 and argue against their commands1 or excuse themselves for not obeying4 ,it is as much as to say1 they are wiser than their parents--which is doing them a great dishonor4 ,to speak to them in disrespectful1 reproachful1 or passionate language1 or to speak of them or their authority in such language to others1 is also a great offence against their honor4 ,under the law of ,moses1 ,god punished this offence in the same manner that he did blasphemy against himself3--8,he that curseth his father or his mother shall surely be put to death40 ,this shows what a great offence it is in his sight4 ,another way in which you honor your parents is1 by giving respectful attention to their instruction and counsels4 ,god has committed your instruction and training to them2 and when they teach or advise you according to the ,scripture1 their instructions are the voice of ,god to you4 ,if you despise their instruction1 you cast contempt upon ,god1 who speaks through them1 and who says1 8,my son1 hear the instruction of thy father1 and forsake not the law of thy mother40 ,it is very natural for children to wish to follow their own inclinations4 ,the impetuosity of youth would hurry them on1 heedlessly1 in the high-road to ruin4 ,and1 often1 they despise the wholesome instruction and advice of their parents1 as only designed to interfere with their pleasures1 and abridge their enjoyments2 while1 in truth1 their parents look beyond mere pleasure1 to that which is of greater importance4 ,they look upon these things in the light which age and experience has given them4 ,if you were going to a strange place1 in a way with which you were not acquainted1 and should meet one that had been that way before1 you would put confidence in what he should tell you of the way1 and follow his directions4 ,your parents have passed through the period of life on which you are now entering1 and they know the way4 ,you will do well to confide in them1 and abide by their instructions4 ,if you neglect to do so1 you will be sure to get into difficulty4 ,the path of life is beset1 on every side1 with by-paths1 leading astray2 and these by-paths are full of snares and pit-falls1 to catch the unwary1 and plunge them into ruin4 ,your parents have become acquainted with these ways1 and know their dangers4 ,if they are good people1 and understand their duty to you1 they will warn you against them2 and it will be the height of folly for you to disregard their warnings4 ,multitudes1 by doing so1 have rushed heedlessly on to ruin4 ,you must honor your parents1 also1 by a prompt and cheerful obedience to their lawful commands4 ,i say lawful1 because no one ought to obey a command to do what is positively wrong4 ,if a wicked parent should command his child to break the ,sabbath1 to lie1 or to steal1 or to break any of ,god's commands1 it would be the child's duty to refuse1 and meekly submit to the punishment which the parent might inflict4 ,it is not often that such things happen among us2 but our missionaries in ,constantinople have related two instances that are in point4 ,two little ,armenian girls had learned to read1 and obtained from the missionaries some ideas of ,christian morality4 ,a person knocked at the door of their house1 and their father1 not wishing to see him1 told one of them to go and tell the person that he was not at home4 8,that would be telling a lie10 said the daughter4 8,what then80 said the father2 8it is a very little thing4 ,you have only to say that ,i am not at home40 8,but1 father10 she replied1 8the ,bible says it is wicked to tell lies1 and ,i cannot tell a lie40 ,he was angry1 and called his other daughter1 and told her to go4 ,she replied1 8,father1 ,i cannot1 for it is wicked to lie40 ,these children did right in refusing to obey such a command4 ,but in no other case1 except when told to do what is wrong1 will a child be justified in refusing to obey4 ,obedience must be prompt and cheerful4 ,your parents are not honored1 when obedience is delayed to suit your convenience2 nor when you answer back1 or try to reason against your parents' commands1 or plead for delay1 that you may first finish your own work4 ,a parent who is honored will never have to repeat the same command4 ,some children are bent on having their own way1 and attempt to carry their point by showing their parents that their way is best2 which is the same as saying to them that they are more ignorant than their children4 ,neither is sullen obedience honoring your parents4 ,some children1 who dare not disobey their parents1 will go about doing what is required of them with great reluctance1 with perhaps a sullen expression of the countenance1 a flirt1 an angry step1 or a slam of the door1 or some other show of passion4 ,such conduct is a grief to parents1 and an offence against ,god1 who will not count that as obedience1 which is not done cheerfully4 ,but if you truly honor your parents from the heart1 you will not wait for their commands4 ,you will be always ready to obey the slightest intimation of their wishes4 ,it is a great grief to a parent1 when1 out of respect to his child's feelings1 he has expressed his wish1 to be obliged to add his command1 before the thing will be done4 ,but filial piety never appears so amiable and lovely as when it anticipates the wishes of parents1 and supersedes the necessity of expressing those wishes in advice or commands4 ,if you honor your parents in your heart1 you will pay an equal regard to their counsels and commands1 whether they are present or absent4 ,if you cast off their authority as soon as you are out of their sight1 you greatly dishonor them4 ,such conduct shows that you do not honor them at all in your heart1 but obey them only when you cannot disobey without suffering for it4 ,but if you keep their authority always present with you1 then you will do them great honor2 for you show that they have succeeded in fixing in your heart a deep-seated principle of reverence and affection for them4 ,if you truly honor your parents in your heart1 you will obey them as well when they are absent as present4 ,the parents' authority and honor are always present with the good child4 ,children1 likewise1 honor or dishonor their parents in their general behavior4 ,if they are rude and uncivil1 they reflect dishonor upon their parents2 for people say1 they have not been trained and instructed at home4 ,but when their behavior is respectful1 correct1 pure1 and amiable1 it reflects honor upon the parents4 ,people will judge of the character of your parents by your behavior4 ,are you willing to hear your parents reproachfully spoken of8 ,no1 your cheek would glow with indignation at the person who should speak ill of your father or your mother4 ,but you speak evil of them1 in your conduct1 every time you do any thing that reflects dishonor upon them in the eyes of others4 ,the blame of your conduct will be thrown back upon your parents4 ,but the true way to honor your parents1 at all times and in all circumstances1 is1 to have your heart right with ,god4 ,if you have true piety of heart toward ,god1 you will show piety toward your parents2 for you will regard the authority of his commandment1 and delight in doing what will please him4 ,the fear of ,god1 dwelling in your heart1 will lead you to reverence all his commands1 and none more continually and conscientiously than the one which requires you to honor your parents4 ,every thing that you do for them will be done1 8not with eye-service1 as men-pleasers1 but with good will1 doing service as to ,god1 and not to man40 ,boys of a certain age are frequently disposed to show their importance1 by assuming to be wiser than their parents4 ,they call in question the wisdom of their parents' directions1 and seek1 in every possible way1 to set up their own will4 ,this is particularly the case with respect to the authority of the mother2 they feel too big to be governed by a woman2 and if obliged to obey1 they will be sullen about it4 ,instead of requiting her care1 by studying to be helpful1--anticipating her wishes1--they seem to lose all sense of obligation1 and regard what she requires of them as an unreasonable interference with their pleasures2 and so1 they will meet her requests in a snarling1 snappish manner1 like an impertinent young mastiff1 slighting1 in every possible way1 the thing to be done4 ,and if1 in the ,providence of ,god1 such boys are left without a father1 they take advantage of the widowhood of their mother1 to resist her authority4 ,i can scarcely think of any thing more unmanly than this4 ,it is mean and despicable4 ,the mother1 by all the ties of gratitude1 in these desolate circumstances1 is entitled to the kindness1 assistance1 and protection1 of her sons2 and to rebel against her authority1 because she may not have strength to enforce it1 manifests a very black heart4 ,a young man1 who1 in any circumstances1 will treat his mother ill1 is to be despised2 but one who will take advantage of the helplessness of her widowhood1 to cast off her just authority1 is to be detested and abhorred4 ,nothing has1 perhaps1 a greater influence upon the future character of the man than the trait of which we are speaking4 ,the boy that is obedient and submissive to parental authority will make a good citizen4 ,he has learned to obey1 from his childhood2 and he will be obedient to the laws of his country2 he will be respected in society1 and may rise to posts of honor4 ,but the disobedient boy1 who is turbulent and ungovernable at home1 will make a bad member of society4 ,never having learned how to obey1 he will be disobedient to the laws1 and incur their penalty2 he will be found in evil company2 engaged in mobs and riots2 making disturbance at fires1 c41 till1 perhaps1 he will land at last in prison1 or be launched into eternity from the gallows4 ,i might easily fill the rest of this volume with the detail of cases1 in which a career of crime1 ending in prison or on the gallows1 has been commenced in disobedience to parents1 and in very many cases1 disobedience to widowed mothers4 ,,chapter ,v4 ,,treatment ,,of ,,brothers ,,and ,,sisters1 ,,and ,,others ,,in ,,the ,,family4 ,the family is a little kingdom in miniature4 ,the father and mother are king and queen2 and children1 and others residing in the family1 are the subjects4 ,i have treated at large1 in the last chapter1 on your duties to your parents2 but ,i must not pass over your behavior towards the other members of the family4 ,and here1 ,i wish you to keep in mind all ,i have said about the formation of character4 ,remember1 that the character you form in the family will1 in all probability1 follow you through life4 ,as you are regarded by your own brothers and sisters at home1 so1 in a great measure1 will you be regarded by others1 when you leave your father's house4 ,if you are manly1 amiable1 kind1 and courteous1 at home1 so you will continue to be2 and these traits of character will always make you beloved4 ,but if you are peevish1 ill-natured1 harsh1 uncourteous1 or overbearing1 at home1 among your own brothers and sisters1 so will you be abroad2 and1 instead of being beloved1 you will be disliked and shunned4 ,the best general direction that ,i can give is1 that you carry out the golden rule in your behavior toward your brothers and sisters1 and all other persons who reside in the family4 ,if you do to them as you would wish them to do to you1 all will be well4 ,but ,i must be a little more particular4 ,boys are often disposed to assume a dictatorial1 domineering air toward their sisters1 as though they thought themselves born to rule1 and were determined to exercise their dominion over their sisters1 because they have not strength to resist their tyranny4 ,but ,i can hardly think of any thing more unmanly4 ,it shows a very mean spirit1 destitute of noble and generous feelings1 to take advantage of the weakness of others to tyrannize over them4 ,but to do this to those who1 by the relation they bear to you1 are entitled to your love and protection1 is base beyond description4 ,the same is true1 though perhaps in a less degree1 in regard to the conduct of an elder toward a younger brother4 ,a brother should be kind1 tender1 courteous1 and delicate1 in his behavior toward his sisters1 never treating them with rudeness or neglect1 and standing ready always to protect them from the rudeness of other boys4 ,he should never speak gruffly to them1 nor in a lordly1 domineering1 or contemptuous manner4 ,such conduct toward other misses or young ladies would be esteemed very unhandsome and ungentlemanly2 and why should it not be so esteemed at home8 ,are your own sisters entitled to less respect than strangers8 ,accustom yourself to make confidants of your sisters4 ,let them understand your feelings1 and know your designs2 and pay a suitable regard to their advice4 ,by this means you may be saved from many a snare1 and you will secure their affection and sympathy4 ,never form any design1 or engage in any enterprise1 which you are ashamed to divulge to them4 ,if you do1 you may be sure it will not end well4 ,one rule1 well observed at home1 among brothers and sisters1 would go far towards making them accomplished gentlemen and ladies1 in their manners3--,,be ,,courteous ,,to ,,each ,,other4 ,never allow yourself to treat your brothers or sisters in a manner that would be considered rude or ungentlemanly1 if done to other young persons visiting in the family4 ,especially1 never allow yourself to play tricks upon them1 to teaze them1 or1 in a coarse1 rough manner1 to criticize or ridicule their conduct1 especially in the presence of others4 ,but if you see any thing that you think needs reforming1 kindly remind them of it in private4 ,this will have a much better effect than if you mortify them1 by exposing their faults before company4 ,be careful of their feelings1 and never needlessly injure them4 ,boys sometimes take delight in crossing the feelings of their brothers and sisters1 interfering with their plans1 and vexing them1 out of sheer mischief4 ,such conduct is especially unamiable1 and it will tend to promote ill-will and contention in the family4 ,be not fond of informing against them4 ,if they do any thing very much amiss1 it will be your duty to acquaint your parents with it4 ,but in little things1 of small moment1 it is better for you kindly to remonstrate with them1 but not to appeal to your parents4 ,in some families1 when the children are at home1 your ears are continually ringing with the unwelcome sounds1 8,mother1 ,john0--8,father1 ,susan0--8,mother1 ,george10 c4--a perpetual string of complaints1 which makes the place more like a bedlam than a quiet1 sweet home4 ,there is no sight more unlovely than a quarrelsome family1--no place on earth more undesirable than a family of brothers and sisters who are perpetually contending with each other4 ,but ,i know of no place1 this side heaven1 so sweet and attractive as the home of a family of brothers and sisters1 always smiling and happy1 full of kindness and love1 delighting in each other's happiness1 and striving how much each can oblige the other4 ,if you would have your home such a place1 you must not be selfish2 you must not be too particular about maintaining your own rights2 but be ready always to yield rather than to contend4 ,this will generally have the effect to produce the same disposition in your brothers and sisters2 and then the strife will be1 which can be most generous4 ,be noble and generous in your treatment of domestics4 ,never be so mean as to domineer over the hired men or women employed about the house1 or in the field4 ,keep out of the kitchen as much as possible4 ,but if you are obliged to go there1 remember that you are on the cook's premises4 ,keep out of her way1 and be careful not to put things out of their place1 or make litter4 ,nothing is more annoying to her than such conduct1 because it interferes with her efforts to keep things in order1 and increases her labor4 ,never ask servants to help you1 when you are able to help yourself4 ,it is very provoking to them to be called to wait on the little gentlemen about house4 ,cultivate independence of character1 and help yourself4 ,you will never be fit for any business1 if you always depend on others to help you in little every-day affairs4 ,young men and boys should cultivate a love of home as a defence against the temptations to frequent bad company and places of resort dangerous to their morals4 ,a boy or a young man1 who is deeply and warmly attached to his mother and sisters1 will prefer their society to that of the depraved and worthless2 and he will not be tempted to go abroad in search of pleasure1 when he finds so much at home4 ,it is a delusive idea1 that any greater pleasure can be found abroad than is to be enjoyed at home2 and that boy or young man is in a dangerous way1 to whom the society of his mother and sisters has become insipid and uninteresting4 ,when you feel any inclination to go abroad in search of forbidden pleasure1 ,i advise you to sit down with your sisters1 and sing1 8,home1 sweet home40 ,and here ,i may say that the cultivation of music will add much to the attractions of home4 ,it is a delightful recreation4 ,it soothes the feelings1 sweetens the temper1 and refines the taste4 ,in addition to the cultivation of the voice1 and the practice of vocal music1 you will find great satisfaction in learning to play on some instrument of music1 to be able to carry your part on the flute or viol4 ,this will greatly diminish the temptation to go abroad for amusement2 and in proportion as you find your pleasure at home1 will you be safe from those evil influences which have proved the destruction of so many boys4 ,but perhaps you are an only child4 ,then you will enjoy the exclusive affections and attention of your parents1 without a rival4 ,but you will lose the advantage of the society of brothers and sisters4 ,the former will be no benefit2 for parents do not abate their love to their first-born1 when others are added to their number4 ,but the exclusive love to an only child often degenerates into excessive indulgence4 ,the society of brothers and sisters1 though it often tries the temper1 yet contributes greatly to the happiness of a child4 ,it provides a wholesome discipline1 and affords the means of learning how to behave among equals2 which an only child cannot learn at home4 ,you will be likely to think too much of yourself1 because you will receive the exclusive attentions of your parents1 and will not have before you the daily example of your equals4 ,these things you must guard against2 and endeavor to make up the deficiency1 by carrying out the hints ,i have given1 in the society of other children1 wherever you meet them4 ,in conclusion1 ,i will give you one little family rule4 ,you may think it a very little one2 but it is able to do wonders4 ,if you will try it one week1 and never deviate from it1 ,i will promise you the happiest week you ever enjoyed4 ,and1 more than this1 you will diffuse such a sunshine about you as to make others happy also4 ,my little rule is this3 ,,never ,,be ,,cross4 ,,chapter ,,vi4 ,,behavior ,,at ,,school4 ,most of what ,i have said in the last two chapters will apply to your behavior at school4 ,when you go to school1 your teachers take the place of your parents4 ,to them1 for the time being1 your parents have delegated their authority4 ,you are bound1 therefore1 to give to them the same reverence and obedience which are due to your parents4 ,to disobey1 or to dishonor them in any other way1 is a breach of the fifth commandment1 which1 in its spirit1 requires subordination to lawful authority2 or1 as the ,catechism says1 8,the fifth commandment requireth the preserving the honor of1 and performing the duties belonging to1 every one1 in their several places and relations1 as superiors1 inferiors1 or equals40 ,you ought1 therefore1 in the first place1 to pay strict regard to every rule of the school1 as a religious duty2 and obey your teacher1 in all things1 with the same promptness and cheerfulness that you would obey your parents4 ,you should be too careful of your own reputation to permit yourself to be reprimanded by your teacher4 ,if you take up the resolution that you will be so diligent1 faithful1 and well-behaved1 as never to be reproved1 you will find it a very wholesome restraint1 to keep you within the bounds of propriety4 ,be careful of the honor of your teachers1 remembering that1 if you dishonor them1 you break ,god's holy commandment4 ,never call in question their arrangements2 and never indulge feelings of dissatisfaction4 ,especially1 never speak slightingly or disrespectfully of them1 nor of their ways4 ,it does not become you to call in question their arrangements1 or their mode of teaching4 ,if you are wiser than they1 you had better not seek instruction from them2 but if not1 then you should be satisfied with the dictates of their superior wisdom4 ,never attempt to question their proceedings1 nor to argue with them1 when they require you to do any thing4 ,be very careful1 also1 not to carry home tales from school2 because such a practice tends to cultivate a disposition to tattle1 and often leads to great mischief4 ,yet1 when your parents make inquiries1 it is your duty to answer them4 ,be diligent in your studies1 from principle1 not from a spirit of emulation4 ,remember that you are placed at school for your own benefit4 ,it is not for your parents' advantage1 nor for the benefit of your teachers1 that you are required to study2 but for your own good4 ,remember how much pains your parents take1 to give you this opportunity4 ,they give up your time1 which they have a right to employ for their own benefit1 and they expend money for the support of schools1 that you may have the opportunity of obtaining useful learning4 ,you are bound1 therefore1 to improve this opportunity with great diligence4 ,you will not think it a task1 that you are compelled to study2 but you will regard it as a price#a put into your hands to get wisdom4 ,it is all for your own benefit4 ,in school hours1 therefore1 you should put away all thoughts of play1 and all communication with other scholars1 and give yourself strictly and closely to your studies4 #a ,prov4 xvii4 #af4 ,but1 ,i suppose you will find the most difficulty in regulating your conduct during the intervals of school hours1 and on your way to and from school4 ,when a great many young persons of your own age are together1 there is a disposition to throw off restraint4 ,i would not have you under such restraint as to avoid all relaxation and innocent hilarity2 for these are necessary to keep your mind and body in a healthful condition4 ,but1 here1 you will be more exposed to temptation4 ,as punctuality is of great importance in school1 and a necessary habit to be cultivated1 you need to make it a matter of principle to be always in your seat a few minutes before the opening of school4 ,a failure to do this1 will rob you of many advantages1 and greatly embarrass your teacher4 ,it will1 also1 give you the habit of tardiness1 which will be a great injury to you1 as long as you live1 whatever may be your occupation4 ,but1 in order to be punctual1 you must not linger to engage in sport by the way4 ,so1 likewise1 in returning from school1 you ought to be equally punctual in reporting yourself at home2 for you know not what your parents may have for you to do4 ,this1 also1 forbids your lingering for amusement on the way home4 ,but1 besides these1 there are other reasons why you should not idle away your time on the way4 ,idle boys are always in the way of temptation2 for 8,satan finds some mischief still ,for idle hands to do40 ,if you linger along on the way1 you will be very likely to meet with some bad boys1 who will lead you astray1 and involve you in some mischief that will get you into serious difficulty4 ,a boy was walking along in the streets of ,boston1 and another boy1 who knew him by name1 called to him from the other side of the street1 saying1 8,come1 ,john1 come over here1 and we'll have some fun40 8,no1 ,i can't10 ,john replied2 8,i must go home40 8,but just come over here a minute40 8,no1 ,i can't10 said ,john2 8my mother expects me home40 ,but the boy still urged him1 and at length prevailed on him to cross the street4 ,they then went into a hardware store2 and the boy who called ,john over stole some knives and disappeared2 and ,john was taken for the theft1 because he was with the other boy at the time1 and put in jail4 ,thus1 by just stopping on the way1 and going across the street1 he got into jail4 ,if he had made it his invariable rule to go directly on his way1 and not linger1 and idle his time away1 he would have been saved from this suffering1 shame1 and disgrace4 ,but1 if you indulge in the same habit of lingering by the way1 you will be exposed to similar temptation and trouble4 ,in all your intercourse with your school-fellows1 be kind and obliging4 ,treat them courteously1 and avoid every thing that is rough1 coarse1 and rude4 ,endeavor to behave like a young gentleman4 ,avoid the company of boys who are rough and coarse in their manners1 or profane or obscene in their conversation4 ,you will insensibly imbibe their vulgarity1 if you associate with them4 ,in your sports or plays1 be conscientiously fair and honorable4 ,the boy1 who is unfair or dishonest in his play1 when he becomes a man1 will drive a hard bargain or be dishonest in his business4 ,if you go where boys and girls are associated in the same school1 have a strict regard to propriety1 in your intercourse with the other sex4 ,be gentlemanly in your behavior towards them4 ,avoid all rudeness or roughness of manners and conversation in their presence4 ,especially1 refrain from rude jests and low buffoonery4 ,you may engage with them in sensible conversation2 but a well-bred girl will be offended if you attempt to please her by trying how nonsensically and silly you can talk4 ,venture no improper liberties2 but maintain your own self-respect by respecting them4 ,finally1 see that you do nothing in school or out of it1 which you would be unwilling your parents should see2 and remember that there is ,one ,eye that is always upon you4 ,,chapter ,,vii4 ,,behavior ,,at ,,table4 ,did it ever occur to you to inquire why all civilized people have their food prepared at particular hours1 and all the family sit at table together8 ,why not have the food prepared1 and placed where every one can go and eat1 whenever he pleases1 by himself8 ,one great advantage of having a whole family sit together1 and partake of their meals at the same time1 is1 that it brings them together in a social way1 every day4 ,but for this1 and the assembling of the family at prayers1 they might not all meet at once for a long time4 ,but eating together is a mark of friendship2 and it tends to promote social feeling4 ,in a well-regulated family1 also1 it is a means of great improvement1 both of mind and manners4 ,it is1 in fact1 a school of good manners4 ,you will perceive1 then1 how very important it is1 that your behavior at table should always be regulated by the rules of propriety4 ,if you acquire vulgar habits here1 or practise rudeness1 you will find it difficult to overcome them2 and they will make you appear to great disadvantage4 ,i shall mention a few things to be observed1 at the table1 by one who would maintain a character for good breeding4 ,and1 first of all1 be not tardy in taking your place at the table4 ,in a well-regulated family1 the master of the family waits till all are seated before he asks a blessing4 ,suppose there are five persons at the table1 and you hinder them all by your tardiness three minutes1 you waste fifteen minutes of precious time4 ,to those who set a proper value upon time1 this is a great evil4 ,there is no need of it2 you may as easily be at your seat in time as too late4 ,when called to a meal1 never wait to finish what you are doing1 but promptly leave it1 and proceed to your place4 ,above all1 do not delay till after the blessing1 and so sit down to your food like a heathen4 ,the table is a place for easy1 cheerful1 social intercourse2 but some children make it a place of noisy clamor4 ,the younger members of the family should leave it for the parents 7and guests1 if there are any17 to take the lead in conversation4 ,it does not appear well for a very young person to be forward and talkative at table4 ,you should generally wait till you are spoken to2 or1 if you wish to make an inquiry or a remark1 do it in a modest1 unassuming way1 not raising your voice1 nor spinning out a story4 ,and be especially careful not to interrupt any other person4 ,sensible people will get a very unfavorable impression concerning you1 if they see you bold and talkative at table4 ,yet you should never appear inattentive to what others are saying4 ,be not so intent on discussing the contents of your plate1 as not to observe the movements of others1 or to hear their conversation4 ,show your interest in what is said by occasional glances at the speaker1 and by the expression of your countenance2 but be not too anxious to put a word in yourself4 ,some children make themselves ridiculous1 by always joining in1 and making their remarks1 when older persons are speaking1 often giving a grave opinion of some matter about which they know nothing4 ,be helpful to others1 without staring at them1 or neglecting your own plate4 ,you may keep your eye on the movements around you1 to pass a cup and saucer1 to notice if any one near you needs helping1 and to help any dish that is within your reach4 ,by so doing1 you may greatly relieve your father and mother1 who must be very busy1 if they help all the family4 ,by cultivating a close observation1 and studying to know and anticipate the wants of others1 you will be able to do these things in a genteel and graceful manner1 without appearing obtrusive or forward4 ,study propriety4 ,if asked what you will be helped to1 do not answer in an indefinite manner1 saying1 you 8have no choice20 for this will put the master of the house to the inconvenience of choosing for you4 ,do not wait1 after you are asked1 to determine what you will have1 but answer promptly2 and do not be particular in your choice4 ,to be very particular in the choice of food is not agreeable to good breeding4 ,never ask for what is not on the table4 ,do not make remarks respecting the food2 and avoid expressing your likes and dislikes of particular articles4 ,one of your age should not appear to be an epicure4 ,show your praise of the food set before you1 by the good nature and relish with which you partake of it2 but do not eat so fast as to appear voracious4 ,never put on sour looks1 nor turn up your nose at your food4 ,this is unmannerly1 and a serious affront to the mistress of the table4 ,be careful to use your knife and fork as other people do1 and to know when to lay them down1 and when to hold them in your hands4 ,be careful not to drop your food1 nor to spill liquids on the cloth4 ,do not leave the table before the family withdraw from it1 unless it is necessary2 and then1 ask to be excused4 ,neither linger to finish your meal1 after you perceive the rest have done4 ,besides what ,i have mentioned1 there are a great many nameless little things1 that go to make up good manners at table1 which you must learn by studying the rules of propriety1 and observing the behavior of others4 ,,chapter ,,viii4 ,,behavior ,,at ,,family ,,worship4 ,all well-regulated ,christian families are assembled1 morning and evening1 to worship ,god4 ,seeing we are dependent on him for all things1 it is suitable and proper that we should daily acknowledge our dependence1 by asking him for what we need1 and thanking him for what we receive4 ,that we should do this as a family is highly proper4 ,but if it is our duty to worship ,god as a family1 it is the duty of every one in particular4 ,it is as much your duty as it is your father's4 ,you must1 therefore1 not only make it a principle to be in your place punctually at the time1 but to enter heartily into all the exercises4 ,some children and youth appear as if they had no interest in what is going on1 at this most interesting household service4 ,but this is not only showing great disrespect to your parents1 but great irreverence toward ,god4 ,it will help you to right feelings1 on these occasions1 if you imagine ,christ ,jesus present in person4 ,god is present spiritually1 and in a peculiar manner1 at such times1 to bless the families that call on his name4 ,when1 therefore1 the family are assembled for prayers1 you should put away all vain or wandering thoughts4 ,when the time arrives1 and the family are assembled for devotion1 seat yourself1 in a serious1 reverent manner2 and if there should be a few moments' delay1 do not engage in conversation1 nor in reading newspapers1 or any thing calculated to divert your mind2 but direct your thoughts upward to ,god1 and seek a preparation for his worship4 ,suffer not your mind to be occupied with any thing but the service before you4 ,let not your eyes wander about1 to catch vagrant thoughts4 ,let not your hands be occupied with any thing1 to divert your attention or to disturb others4 ,have your ,bible1 and take your turn in reading4 ,be attentive and devout1 during the reading of ,god's holy word1 endeavoring to apply it to your heart4 ,if the family sing1 enter into this sweet service1 not only with your lips1 but with your heart4 ,when prayer is offered1 place yourself in the attitude which is taken by your father and mother4 ,if they kneel1 do you kneel also1--not sit1 nor recline1 but stand upon your knees1 in a reverent posture4 ,shut your eyes1 and keep your heart4 ,let your heart embrace the words of the prayer1 and make them your own4 ,remember that the devotional habits you form at the family altar1 are the habits that will follow you to ,god's house1 and probably adhere to you through life4 ,and what can be more shocking than to see persons pretending to gentility1 who do not know how to behave with propriety before the great ,god that made them6 ,if you were in company1 and should treat the person that invited you with as much indifference as you treat ,god by such conduct1 you would be considered a very ill-bred person4 ,he has invited you to come to his mercy-seat to converse with him1 and to receive favors at his hand2 and yet1 by such conduct as ,i have named1 you show no interest at all in the matter4 ,family devotion1 when rightly improved1 is a very important means of grace4 ,if you attend upon it seriously and reverently1 you may hope that ,god will bless it to your soul4 ,it tends1 also1 to tranquillize the feelings1 and prepare you to engage in the duties of the day with serenity and cheerfulness4 ,,chapter ,,ix4 ,,private ,,prayer4 ,i suppose1 if my readers are the children of pious parents1 they have been taught from their earliest recollection1 to retire1 morning and evening1 to some secret place1 to read their ,bible alone1 and engage in private prayer4 ,this1 in very early childhood1 is often an interesting and affecting service4 ,but when young people come to a certain age1 if their hearts are not renewed1 they are disposed to regard this as an irksome duty1 and gradually to leave it off4 ,they find the old adage1 in the primer1 true1--8,praying will make thee leave sinning1 and sinning will make thee leave praying40 ,it is a sad period1 in the history of a young person1 when the early habit of prayer is given up4 ,then the heart becomes like the garden of the slothful1 described by ,solomon3-- 8,i went by the field of the slothful1 and by the vineyard of the man void of understanding2 and lo1 it was all grown over with thorns1 and nettles had covered the face thereof1 and the stone wall thereof was broken down40 ,there are no good plants thriving in the prayerless soul2 but weeds1 and briars1 and thorns1 grow thick and rank1 occupying every vacant spot4 ,the stone wall is broken down3 there is no defence against the beasts of the field4 ,every vagrant thought1 every vicious passion1 find free admittance4 ,the heart grows hard1 and the spirit careless4 ,sin is not dreaded as it once was4 ,the fear of ,god and the desire of his favor are gone4 8,god is not in all his thoughts40 ,that youth stands on the very edge of a frightful precipice4 ,i would not have you think1 however1 that there is any merit in prayer2 or that the prayers of one whose 8heart is not right with ,god0 are acceptable to him4 ,but1 what ,i say is1 that every one ought to pray to ,god with a right heart4 ,if your heart is not right with ,god1 then it is wrong2 and you are to blame for having it wrong4 ,i will suppose a case1 to illustrate what ,i mean4 ,you see a child rise up in the morning1 and go about the house2 and though its mother is with it all the time1 yet the child neither speaks to her nor seems to notice her at all4 ,after a while1 the mother asks what is the matter1 and why her dear child does not speak to her8 ,the child says1 8,i have no heart to speak to you1 mother4 ,i do not love you2 and so ,i think it would be wrong for me to speak to you40 ,what would you think of such conduct8 ,you would say1 8,the child ought to love its mother2 and it is only an aggravation of its offence1 to carry out the feelings of its heart in its conduct80 8,would you then have it act the hypocrite1 and speak with its lips what it does not feel in its heart80 ,no2 but ,i would have it love its mother1 as every dutiful child ought to do1 and then act out1 in its speech and behavior1 what it feels in its heart4 ,but ,i would never have it excuse itself from right actions because its heart is wrong4 ,now1 apply this to the subject of prayer1 and you will see the character of all impenitent excuses for neglecting this duty4 ,and those who go on and continue to neglect it1 certainly have no reason to expect that their hearts will grow any better by it1 but only worse4 ,but in attempting to perform a sacred duty1 the ,lord may give you grace to perform it aright1 and then you will have a new heart4 ,if possible1 have a particular place of prayer1 where you can be secure from all interruption1 and particular times for it4 ,at the appointed hours1 retire alone1 and put away all thoughts about your studies1 your work1 your amusements1 or any thing of a worldly nature1 and try to realize that ,god is as truly present as if you saw him with your bodily eyes4 ,then read his word1 as though you heard him speaking to you in the sacred page2 and when your mind has become serious and collected1 kneel down and acknowledge ,god as your ,creator and ,preserver1 your ,god and ,redeemer2 thank him for the mercies you have received1 mentioning particularly every good thing you can think of1 that you have received from him2 confess your sins2 plead for pardon1 through the blood of ,jesus ,christ2 and ask him to give you such blessings as you see and feel that you need4 ,pray also for your friends1 7and for your enemies1 if you have any27 and conclude with a prayer for the coming of ,christ's kingdom every where throughout the world4 ,some young people neglect to pray1 because they think they are not able to form their words into prayer4 ,but you need not be afraid to speak to ,god4 ,if you can find language to ask your parents for what you desire1 you can find words to express your desires to ,god2 and he will not upbraid you for the imperfection of your language4 ,he looks at the heart4 ,if that is right1 your prayer will be accepted4 ,let me earnestly entreat you to have your set times for prayer1 at least as often as morning and evening2 and never suffer yourself to neglect them4 ,and1 especially1 do not adopt the unseemly practice of saying your prayers in bed1 but give to ,god the brightest and best hours of the day1 and not offer to him the blind and the lame for sacrifice4 ,you will find the regular and stated habit of prayer1 thus formed in early life1 of great value to you1 as long as you live4 ,but let me once more caution you not to trust in your prayers1 for they cannot save you2 and do not think1 because you are regular and habitual in attending to the outward forms of duty1 that you must be a ,christian4 ,prayer1 if sincere and true1 will prepare you for engaging in the duties of the day1 or for enjoying calm repose at night4 ,if1 for any cause1 you neglect prayer in the morning1 you may expect things will go ill with you all the day4 ,you can do nothing well without ,god's blessing2 and you cannot expect his blessing without asking for it4 ,you need1 also1 that calm1 tranquil1 humble spirit which prayer promotes1 to prepare you to encounter those things which are constantly occurring to try the feelings1 and to enable you to do any thing well4 ,therefore1 never engage in any thing of importance without first seeking direction of ,god2 and never do any thing on which you would be unwilling to ask ,his blessing4 ,,chapter ,x4 ,,keeping ,,the ,,sabbath4 ,some people esteem it a hardship to be compelled to keep the ,sabbath4 ,they think it an interference with their liberties1 that the state should make laws to punish them for breaking it4 ,this disposition very early shows itself in children4 ,often they think it is hard that they are restrained from play1 or from seeking their pleasure1 on the holy ,sabbath4 ,but ,god did not give us the ,sabbath for his own sake1 or because he is benefited by our keeping it4 ,the ,bible says1 8,the ,sabbath was made for man40 ,god gave us the ,sabbath for our benefit1 and for two purposes4 ,he has made us so that we need rest one day in seven4 ,it has been proved1 upon fair trial1 that men cannot do as much1 nor preserve their health as well1 by laboring seven days in a week1 as they can by laboring six days1 and resting one day in a week4 ,if there were no ,sabbath1 you would have no day of rest4 ,you would grow weary of school1 if you were obliged to attend and study seven days in a week4 ,if you are kept at home to work1 you would soon tire out1 if you had to labor every day in the week4 ,but1 by resting every seventh day1 you get recruited1 so that you are able to go on with study or work with new vigor4 ,the ,sabbath1 in this respect1 is then a great blessing to you2 and you ought to be so thankful to ,god for it1 as to keep it strictly according to his command4 ,another object of the ,sabbath is1 to give all people an opportunity to lay aside their worldly cares and business1 to worship ,god and learn his will4 ,the other design of the ,sabbath was1 to benefit the body2 this is1 to bless the soul4 ,if there were no ,sabbath1 people that are dependent upon others would be obliged to work every day in the week2 and they would have no time to meet together for the worship of ,god4 ,and1 if every one were allowed to choose his own time for worshipping ,god1 there would be no agreement4 ,one would be at meeting1 another would be at work1 and others would be seeking their pleasure4 ,but1 in order to have every one at liberty to worship ,god without disturbance1 he has set apart one day in seven for this purpose4 ,on this day1 he requires us to rest from all labor and recreation1 and spend its sacred hours in learning his will1 and in acts of devotion4 ,the ,sabbath thus becomes a means of improving the mind and the heart4 ,it furnishes the best opportunity for social improvement that could be devised4 ,it brings the people together1 in their best attire1 to exercise their minds in understanding divine truth1 and their hearts in obeying it4 ,and the same object1 and the same spirit1 it carries out in the family4 ,if1 therefore1 you ever consider the duties of the holy ,sabbath irksome and unpleasant1 or feel uneasy under its restraints1 you perceive that you must be very unreasonable1 since they are designed for your good4 ,you will not1 then1 find fault with me1 if ,i am rigid in requiring the strict observance of the ,sabbath4 ,one thing ,i would have you remember1--,if you would receive the full benefit of the holy ,sabbath1 you must form right habits of keeping it1 early in life4 ,to give it full power over the mind1 it must be associated1 in our earliest recollections1 with order1 quiet1 stillness1 and solemnity4 ,if you are in the habit of disregarding it in early life1 you lose all the benefit and enjoyment to be derived from these sacred associations4 ,the best directions for keeping the ,sabbath1 any where to be found1 are contained in the thirteenth verse of the fifty-eighth chapter of ,isaiah3--8,if thou turn away thy foot from the ,sabbath1 from doing thy pleasure on my holy day1 and call the ,sabbath a delight1 the holy of the ,lord1 honorable2 and shalt honor him1 not doing thine own ways1 nor finding thine own pleasure1 nor speaking thine own words--0 ,you must turn away your foot from the ,sabbath1 not trampling on it by doing your own pleasure1 instead of the pleasure of the ,lord4 ,your foot must not move to perform any act that is contrary to the design of this sacred day2 and especially1 must not go after your own pleasure4 ,you must not do your own ways1 nor find your own pleasure4 ,these things may be lawful on other days2 but on this day1 every thing must have reference to ,god4 ,you must not even speak your own words4 ,worldly1 vain1 light1 or trifling conversation is thus forbidden4 ,and1 if you may not speak your own words1 you may not think your own thoughts4 ,worldly1 vain1 trifling thoughts1 or thoughts of your pleasure1 are not lawful on ,god's holy day4 ,but you must not only refrain from these things2 the ,sabbath is not properly kept1 unless its sacred services are a delight to the soul4 ,if you are tired of hearing1 reading1 and thinking of the things of another world1 you do not keep the ,sabbath according to these directions4 ,to one who enters truly into the spirit of ,god's holy day1 it is the most delightful of the seven4 ,you remember1 in the memoir of ,phebe ,bartlett1 it is stated that she so loved the ,sabbath that she would long to have it come1 and count the days intervening before it4 ,such are the feelings of all who love ,god and sacred things4 ,having made these general remarks1 ,i will give you a few simple directions for making the ,sabbath both profitable and delightful4 ,the evening before the ,sabbath1 do every thing that can be done1 to save doing on the ,sabbath4 ,leave nothing to be done in ,god's time that you can do in your own time4 ,lay out your ,sabbath day's clothing1 and see that it is all in order1 that you may have no brushing or mending to be done ,sabbath morning4 ,rise early in the morning1 and1 while washing and dressing1 which you will do in as little time as possible1 think of your need of the 8washing of regeneration and renewing of the ,holy ,ghost10 and of being clothed in the clean1 white robe of ,christ's righteousness4 ,then offer up your thanksgiving to ,god for his mercy in preserving your life1 and giving you another holy ,sabbath1 and pray for his presence and blessing through the day4 ,if you are called by your father or mother1 for any service of the family1 go to it cheerfully2 and as soon as you can retire again1 read a portion of ,scripture1 and pray to ,god for such particular blessings upon yourself as you feel your need of1 and for his blessing upon others on his holy day4 ,if you attend the ,sabbath school1 you will need to look over your lesson for the day1 and endeavor to apply it to your own heart2 for ,i suppose you do not put off the study of your lesson till ,sabbath morning4 ,never stay at home on the ,sabbath1 unless you are necessarily detained4 ,make it a matter of principle and calculation always to be there4 ,on your way to the house of ,god1 do not engage in any unnecessary conversation1 especially that which is vain1 light1 or trifling1 to divert your mind1 and unfit you for the worship of ,god4 ,do not stand about the doors of the meeting-house1 to salute your friends1 or to converse with your young companions4 ,this practice1 ,i am sorry to say1 prevails in the country1 among young people of both sexes1 to the great annoyance of well-bred people4 ,it is a great temptation to conversation improper for the ,sabbath4 ,it is very unpleasant for people who are passing1 to have the way blocked up1 so as to have to press through a crowd4 ,neither do people like to be stared at1 by a company of rude young people1 as they pass into the house of ,god4 ,i am sorry to admit1 also1 that this unmannerly practice is not confined to youth2 but that many elderly people set the example4 ,instead of doing so1 go directly to your seat1 in a quiet1 reverent manner2 and if any time intervenes before the commencement of public worship1 do not spend it in gazing about the house1 to observe the dress of different persons2 but take the opportunity to compose your mind1 to call in all vagrant thoughts1 to get your heart impressed with a sense of ,god's presence1 and to lift up your soul in silent prayer for his blessing4 ,or1 if the time be long1 you can employ a part of it in reading the ,bible1 or devotional hymns4 ,but do not carry any other book to the house of worship to be read there4 ,if you have a ,sabbath school library book1 it will be better not to read it at such a time1 because you will be likely to get your mind filled with it1 so as to interfere with the services of the sanctuary4 ,but the ,bible and hymn book1 being of a devotional character1 will tend to prepare your mind for worship4 ,above all1 do not read a newspaper1 of any kind1 at such a time4 ,even a religious newspaper would tend to divert your mind from that serious1 tender1 devout frame1 which you ought to possess when you engage in the solemn public worship of the ,great ,jehovah4 ,but ,i have often witnessed more serious improprieties1 in the house of ,god1 than any of these4 ,i have seen young people whispering and laughing during the sermon2 and it is a very common thing to see them gazing about during the singing1 as though they had nothing to do with the service4 ,i have also seen them engaged in reading1 in the time of sermon1 or of singing4 ,some1 also1 are seen1 in time of prayer1 with their eyes wide open1 gazing about4 ,such conduct would be very unmannerly1 if nobody were concerned but the minister2 for it is treating him as though he were not worthy of your attention4 ,but when it is considered that he speaks to you in the name of ,god1 and that1 in prayer1 while you stand up with the congregation1 you profess to join in the prayer2 and while the hymn is sung1 you profess to exercise the devout feeling which it expresses1--when all these things are considered1 such conduct as that ,i have described appears impious in a high degree4 ,instead of being guilty of such improprieties1 you will endeavor1 from the heart1 to join in the sentiments expressed in prayer and praise2 and listen to the sermon with all attention1 as a message sent from ,god to you4 ,you must not think that the sermon is designed for older people1 and therefore you have nothing to do with it2 nor take up the notion that sermons are too dry and uninteresting to engage your attention4 ,the minister speaks to you1 in the name of ,god1 those great truths which concern the salvation of the soul4 ,can they be of no interest to you8 ,have you not a soul to be saved or lost8 ,nor need you think that you cannot understand the sermon4 ,if you give your attention1 you can understand a sermon as well as you can understand the lessons you are required every day to study at school4 ,if you do not understand preaching1 it is because you do not give your mind to it1 and hear with attention4 ,your mind is here and there1 8walking to and fro in the earth1 and going up and down in it20 and you only catch1 here and there1 a sentence of the sermon4 ,this is the reason you do not understand it4 ,endeavor to examine your heart and life by what you hear1 and to apply it to yourself in such a way as to be benefitted by it4 ,and1 when you leave the house of ,god1 do not immediately engage in conversation1 and by this means dissipate all impression2 but1 as far as possible1 go home in silence1 and retire to your closet1 to seek the blessing of ,god upon the services of his house1 on which you have attended4 ,i suppose1 of course1 that you attend the ,sabbath school4 ,i think it a great advantage to those who rightly improve it4 ,but1 like every other privilege1 it may be so neglected or abused as to be of no benefit4 ,if you pay no attention to the ,sabbath school lesson at home1 your mere attendance upon the recitation at school will do you little good4 ,you will feel little interest1 and receive little profit4 ,but1 if you make it the occasion for the faithful study of the ,holy ,scriptures at home1 to ascertain their meaning1 and to become acquainted with the great truths of ,christianity1 it will be of great service to you in forming your ,christian character4 ,having well and thoroughly studied your ,sabbath school lesson1 you will then be prepared to engage in the recitation with interest4 ,in the ,sabbath school1 you will observe the same general directions for propriety of behavior as in public worship4 ,you are to remember that it is the holy ,sabbath1 and that the ,sabbath school is a religious meeting4 ,all lightness of manner is out of place4 ,a serious deportment is necessary1 if you would profit by it4 ,courtesy to your teacher1 and to the school1 also requires that you should give your attention1 and not be conversing or reading during the recitation1 or while your teacher is speaking to you4 ,in answering the questions1 you should be full and explicit2 not merely making the briefest possible reply1 but entering into the subject with interest4 ,but be careful that you do not give indulgence to a self-confident1 conceited spirit1 nor appear as if you thought yourself wiser than your teacher4 ,such a spirit indulged will have an injurious influence in the formation of your character1 and will make you an object of disgust to sensible people4 ,some young people1 when a little past the period of childhood1 begin to feel as if they were too old to attend the ,sabbath school1 and so gradually absent themselves1 and finally leave it altogether4 ,this arises from a mistaken notion as to the design of the ,sabbath school4 ,it is not a school for children merely2 but a school for all classes of people1 to engage in the study of the most wonderful book in the world4 ,i hope you will never think of leaving the ,sabbath school1 as long as you are able to attend it4 ,if you do1 you will suffer a loss which you will regret as long as you live4 ,if you remain at the house of worship between the ,sabbath school and the afternoon service1 as many do in the country1 you will be exposed to temptations to profane the ,sabbath4 ,to prevent this1 avoid meeting with your companions1 in groups1 for conversation4 ,however well-disposed you may be1 you can hardly avoid being drawn into conversation unsuitable for the holy ,sabbath4 ,if you take a book from the ,sabbath school library1 this will be a suitable time to read it1 if you are careful not to extend the reading into the afternoon service1 or suffer your thoughts to be diverted by what you have read4 ,but the practice of reading the ,sabbath school books during divine service1 which prevails among children1 and even with some young men and women1 is not only very irreverent1 but a gross violation of good breeding4 ,it is slighting the service of ,god1 and treating the minister as though they thought what he has to say to them not worth their attention4 ,you ought to have a particular time set apart for the study of your ,sabbath school lesson4 ,i should prefer that this be taken during the week1 so as not to task your mind too severely on the ,sabbath with study1 inasmuch as it is a day of rest4 ,but1 if you cannot do this1 ,i should advise that you study it ,sabbath afternoon1 and review it the next ,sabbath morning4 ,some portion of the ,sabbath afternoon1 or evening1 you will employ1 under the direction of your parents1 in repeating the ,catechism1 which1 ,i hope none of my readers will consider beneath their attention4 8,the ,shorter ,catechism10 next to the ,bible1 ,i regard as the best book in existence to lay the foundation of a strong and solid religious character4 ,if you get it thoroughly committed to memory1 so as to be able to repeat it verbatim from beginning to end1 you will never regret it2 but1 as long as you live1 you will have occasion to rejoice in it4 ,i cannot now give you any adequate idea of the benefit you will derive from it4 ,these catechetical exercises in your father's house will be associated1 in your mind1 with the most precious recollections of your early years4 ,as ,i said with regard to your ,sabbath school lessons1 and for the same reason1 ,i should advise you1 if possible1 to study the portion of the ,catechism to be recited1 during the week4 ,but if you cannot do so1 it should be studied on the afternoon or evening of the ,sabbath4 ,if1 however1 you study these lessons in the week time1 you will be able to spend the afternoon and evening of the ,sabbath1 except what is devoted to family worship and repeating the ,catechism1 in reading serious and devotional books1 which will not tax your mind so much4 ,if you are engaged in study all the week1 your mind will need rest4 ,therefore1 ,i would have you prosecute your religious study during the week1 and let your mind be taxed less on the ,sabbath1 reading such books and engaging in such services as are calculated more to affect the heart1 than to tax the mind4 ,you ought to spend more time than usual1 on ,god's holy day1 in your closet1 in reading the ,scriptures and prayer4 ,but1 besides the ,bible1 ,i would particularly recommend ,religious ,biographies1 and such works as ,bunyan's 8,pilgrim's ,progress0 and 8,holy ,war10 ,d',aubigne's 8,history of the ,reformation10 c4 ,but secular history1 or any books or papers of a secular character1 should not be read on the holy ,sabbath4 ,in general1 you may safely read1 on ,sabbath afternoon1 the books that you find in the ,sabbath school library2 though it will sometimes happen that a book creeps into the library that is not suitable for this sacred day4 ,a portion of the evening of the ,sabbath1 before retiring to rest1 should be spent in reviewing the day1 recollecting the sermons1 examining how you have kept the day1 and seeking in prayer the pardon of what has been amiss1 and ,god's blessing on all the services in which you have been engaged4 ,a ,sabbath thus spent will be a blessing to you1 not only for the six days following1 but as long as you live4 ,it will contribute to the formation of religious habits that you will be thankful for to the day of your death4 ,and when you become accustomed to spending your ,sabbaths thus1 so far from finding them long and tedious days1 you will find them the most delightful of the seven1 and will only regret that they are ,,too ,,short--they come to an end before you have finished all the good designs you have formed4 ,the fact that ,god has set apart a day to himself1 and commanded us to keep it holy1 would naturally lead us to conclude that he would order his ,providence so as to favor its observance4 ,we have only need to examine the subject to be convinced that he does so4 ,when his ancient people1 the children of ,israel1 refused to keep his ,sabbaths1 and trampled his holy day under foot1 he emptied them out of the land1 and caused them to be carried off into a strange country1 and to remain there seventy years4 ,this was threatened in ,leviticus xxvi4 #cd1 #ce3--8,then shall the land enjoy her ,sabbaths1 as long as it lieth desolate1 and ye be in your enemies' land2 even then shall the land rest1 and enjoy her ,sabbaths4 ,as long as it lieth desolate1 it shall rest2 because it did not rest in your ,sabbaths1 when ye dwelt upon it40 ,in #b ,ch4 xxxvi4 #bj1 #ba1 this is referred to as one of the principal reasons why they were carried away to ,babylon3--8,and them that escaped the sword carried he away to ,babylon2 where they were servants to him and his sons1 until the reign of the kingdom of ,persia1 to fulfil the word of the ,lord by the mouth of ,jeremiah the prophet1 until the land had enjoyed her ,sabbaths2 for as long as she lay desolate1 she kept ,sabbath1 to fulfil threescore and ten years40 ,i can think of no reason why ,god1 in his holy ,providence1 should not punish ,sabbath-breakers now as well as then4 ,i have no doubt that he does4 ,if we could see the design of his ,providence1 as it is explained in the ,bible1 no one would doubt it4 ,sir ,matthew ,hale1 after a long and laborious public life1 declared1 as the result of his experience1 that he found his affairs prosper1 during the week1 just in proportion to the strictness with which he had observed the ,sabbath2 and that he had never met with success in any business which was planned on the ,sabbath4 ,i might fill this book with narratives of accidents that have happened to young people1 while seeking their pleasure on the ,lord's day4 ,scarcely a week occurs1 in the summer season1 but the papers contain accounts of parties of young people drowned while taking ,sabbath excursions on the water1 or of young men and boys drowned while bathing on the ,lord's day4 ,many very striking accounts of this kind have been collected and published in tracts4 ,and a great many facts of a more general nature have also been published1 in various forms1 showing that it is profitable to keep the ,sabbath1 and unprofitable and dangerous to break it4 ,my object1 in this place1 is simply to impress on the minds of my readers the very important influence which the proper observance of the ,sabbath has in the formation of character4 ,and ,i wish them to follow the youth through life who has been accustomed to keep the ,sabbath1 and who continues to keep it2 and then follow the course of one who has1 in early life1 been accustomed to disregard ,god's holy day4 ,and one thought1 in particular1 ,i desire you to ponder well1--,the ,sabbath-breaker cannot expect ,god's protection4 ,and1 if ,god forsakes you1 what will become of you8 ,a party of young people set out for a sail1 on the ,sabbath day4 ,one of the young ladies told her brother that she felt very bad to think she was breaking the ,sabbath1 and she must return home4 ,but he entreated her not to spoil his pleasure1 for he should not enjoy it1 unless she went with him2 and to please him she consented to go4 ,the boat was upset1 and she was drowned4 ,the distracted brother now gave vent to his grief in the most bitter lamentation4 ,he had been the means of her death4 ,there he stood1 wringing his hands in agony1 and exclaiming1 8,o6 what shall ,i do6 ,how can ,i see my father's face60 ,there was a boy in ,boston1 the son of respectable parents1 who gave promise of becoming a respectable and useful man4 ,he stood well in school1 and had the reputation of being a good scholar4 ,he attended the ,sabbath school1 and appeared to be a good boy4 ,his mother was endeavoring to bring him up in the way he should go4 ,but1 on one ,sabbath1 he was persuaded by some bad boys not to go to ,sabbath school1 but to go with them to ,chelsea4 ,this was his first step in the down-hill road4 ,the next thing was1 to conceal his conduct from his mother4 ,she asked him if he had been to ,sabbath school1 and he said he had4 ,then she asked him for the text4 ,he repeated a text2 and as she was not able to go that afternoon1 she could not detect his deception4 ,he also pretended to repeat parts of the sermon1 in order to blind her eyes4 ,she was satisfied1 supposing he had been at ,sabbath school and meeting1 secure from temptation4 ,finding he had succeeded so well in deceiving his mother1 he continued to seek his pleasure on ,god's holy day1 and to repeat his deceptions to his mother1 making her believe that he had been at ,sabbath school and meeting4 ,he went on so for some time1 hardening himself in sin1 and associating with bad boys1 till he became ripe for mischief and crime4 ,he was employed by the publisher of a paper1 as an errand boy4 ,one part of his duty was to bring letters and papers from the post-office4 ,while thus engaged1 he learned that money frequently came to his employer in letters4 ,after a while1 he left this employment4 ,the money in the letters now tempted him4 ,having hardened his heart by breaking the ,sabbath1 associating with bad boys1 and deceiving his mother1 he had not strength of principle to resist4 ,he continued to receive the letters1 robbing them of their contents4 ,at length he was detected1 and sent to prison for two years4 ,the gentleman who related this to me said he went one day to the prison1 and there he saw the boy's mother and sister1 talking with him through an iron-grated window1 and weeping as though they would break their hearts4 ,all this came upon him by his seeking his pleasure on ,god's holy day4 ,and if you knew the history of those who have been imprisoned for crime1 you would find a great many such cases4 ,if he had turned away his foot from the ,sabbath1 from seeking his pleasure on this holy day1 he might have been sitting with his mother and sister in their own quiet home1 instead of being locked up in a filthy prison1 with a company of hardened criminals4 ,,chapter ,,xi4 ,,habits4 ,besides what ,i have noticed in several of the foregoing chapters1 there are many things of a general nature1 which ,i shall group together under the title of habits4 ,a habit is what has become easy and natural by frequent repetition4 ,people not unfrequently become much attached to practices1 which at first were very unpleasant4 ,you will sometimes see men chewing1 smoking1 or snuffing tobacco1 a most filthy and poisonous plant1 a little bit of which you could not be persuaded to take into your mouth1 it is so nauseous2 yet1 by long use1 people learn to love it4 ,that is a habit4 ,so1 likewise1 you see persons very fond of drinking intoxicating liquors1 which to you would be a nauseous medicine2 and which are poisonous and destructive to all4 ,it is practice which has made these drinks so pleasant4 ,this is a habit4 ,habits are both bad and good2 and a habit is a very good or a very bad thing1 as it is good or bad4 ,habits are mostly formed in early life2 and a habit1 once formed1 is difficult to be broken2--once fixed1 it may follow you as long as you live4 ,i shall specify a few of the bad habits which boys of your age are liable to contract1 with their opposite good habits4 ,it is very likely ,i shall fail to notice many others1 equally important2 but these may put you upon thinking1 and lead you to discover and correct other bad practices4 ,i4 ,,dilatoriness ,,or ,,tardiness4--,the tardy boy is dilatory about rising in the morning4 ,although old ,chanticleer is pouring his shrill note of warning into his ear1 and the birds are filling the air with their merry song1 and the morning rays of the sun are peeping stealthily through the half-closed shutter1 still he thinks1 8,there's time enough yet20 and instead of starting up with the lark1 he lingers and delays1 saying with the sluggard1 8,a little more sleep1 a little more slumber1 a little more folding of the hands to sleep40 ,at length he rises1 in a yawning mood1 and proceeds slowly to pull on his clothes1 lingering with every article1 looking here and there1 and stopping every now and then to play1 or to amuse himself in gazing about his chamber4 ,and sometimes he stops1 half-dressed1 to read a story from a piece of an old newspaper4 ,in this and other ways1 he amuses himself until the breakfast bell rings1 and he is not ready4 ,perhaps he has been called half a dozen times to 8do his chores10 and as often answered1 8,well1 ,i'm coming20 till1 wearied with his delay1 his mother or sister has done the work that belonged to him1 or his father has been called from his room1 or the hired man from his work1 to do it for him4 ,at length1 he makes his appearance at the table after the blessing1 when the rest of the family have begun their meal4 ,but1 having just emerged from the foul air of his bedroom1 he has no appetite for his breakfast1 and feels peevish and fretful4 ,a scowl appears upon his brow1 and he turns up his nose at the food spread before him1 forgetful alike of his obligations to his ,heavenly ,father for providing1 and to his mother for preparing it4 ,or1 if he sometimes gets dressed before breakfast1 he is not in season to do his chores1 or to complete the lesson which he left unfinished the night before4 ,he hears the breakfast bell1 but he is just now engaged1 and thinks1 8,there's time enough yet1--,i'll just finish what ,i've begun20 and so he is not in season for the table4 ,he has either detained the table till all are impatient of waiting1 or else he takes his seat after the rest have commenced eating4 ,in consequence of this loss of time1 he is left at the table to finish his breakfast1 and his seat is for some time vacant at prayers1 when he comes in and disturbs the whole family4 ,or1 if at any time1 he gets his seat with the rest1 he is dilatory in finding his place1 and is never ready to read when his turn comes4 ,this dilatoriness goes on1 till the school hour arrives1 and he is not ready2 or he delays on the way to school1 and arrives1 perhaps1 just after his class have recited4 ,sabbath morning1 when the bell tolls1 and the family are starting for meeting1 he is roused from a reverie1 and has yet to get ready4 ,and so in every thing else this dilatory habit follows him4 ,when his father or mother calls him1 instead of promptly making his appearance1 to serve them1 as a dutiful son should do1 he answers1 8,yes1 in a minute10 or1 8,yes1 ,i'm going to40 ,he must dispose of something else first2 and before he comes1 the service for which he was called has been despatched by some one else4 ,he does not seem to know how to start quick4 ,he is always in a hurry when the time comes to do any thing1 because he was dilatory in making preparation when he had time4 ,he is always late1--always out of time1--vexing those that are about him1 and injuring himself4 ,he seems to have started too late4 ,you would think that he began too late in the beginning1--that he was born too late1 and has never been able to gain the lost time4 ,every thing comes too soon1 before he is prepared for it4 ,if he ever becomes a man1 and this habit continues1 it will always be a source of vexation and disaster to him4 ,if he is a mechanic1 he will fail to meet his engagements1 and disappoint1 vex1 and lose his customers4 ,if he is a man of business1 he will fail to meet his appointments1 and thus lose many a bargain4 ,he will suffer his notes to be protested at the bank1 and thus injure his friends and destroy his credit4 ,his dilatory habits will be the ruin of his business4 ,and if he carries the same habit into religion1 he will ruin his soul1 for death will overtake him before he is ready4 ,although this seems natural to him1 it is only tardiness indulged till it has grown into a habit4 ,but by timely resolution1 diligence1 and perseverance1 the habit may be broken4 ,the opposites of this are the good habits of promptness and punctuality4 ,when the gray dawn steals in at his window1 the prompt lad springs from his bed2 and in a few minutes he is washed and dressed1 and on his knees at his morning devotions4 ,soon he appears at his work2 and before breakfast1 all his chores are done4 ,thus he has redeemed the time between breakfast and school1 which he has at his own disposal1 for his lessons or his sports4 ,he is always in time4 ,he never keeps the table waiting for him1 and never comes after the blessing4 ,he is never late at prayers--never late at school--never late at meeting2 and yet he is never in a hurry4 ,he redeems so much time by his promptness1 that he has as much as he needs to do every thing well and in season4 ,he saves all the time that the dilatory spends in sauntering1 in considering what to do next1 in reading frivolous matters1 and in gazing idly at vacancy4 ,do you desire to possess these good habits8 ,only carry out for one day the idea ,i have given of promptness1 and then repeat it every day1 and1 in a little time1 you have the habit established4 ,,ii4 ,,slovenliness4--,a slovenly boy makes himself a deal of needless trouble1 and greatly tries the patience of his mother4 ,if you go into his room1 you find it always in confusion4 ,his things are scattered about1 here and there1 some on the bed1 some on the chairs1 and some on the floor1--but none in their places4 ,he either has no particular place for any thing1 or else he takes no pains to put things in their places4 ,he leaves a thing where he uses it4 ,hence1 if he wants any thing1 he never knows where to look for it1 unless he happens to remember where he used it last4 ,he must waste his time in hunting for it4 ,hence you will often hear him impatiently inquiring if any one has seen his things2 when he ought himself to know where they are4 ,if he goes into another person's room1 whatever article he lays his hand upon is misplaced4 ,and so it is1 if he uses any of his father's tools4 ,he never thinks of putting any thing where he found it4 ,he throws it down carelessly wherever he happens to be1 or else puts it in the wrong place2 so that1 when wanted1 it cannot be found4 ,thus1 he not only wastes his own time1 but hinders and vexes others4 ,if he goes into the library1 and takes down a book1 he either puts it in a different place1 and so disarranges the shelves1 or lays it down on the shelf in front of other books1 for his father or mother to arrange4 ,his school books are torn and dirty--disfigured with pencil marks1 blots of ink1 grease spots1 finger prints1 and dog's-ears2 and if he borrows a book from the ,sabbath school library1 or of a friend1 it is returned with some of these his marks upon it4 ,whatever he undertakes to do is done in the same slovenly style4 ,if he brings in water1 he spills it on the floor4 ,his wood he throws down in a sprawling manner1 instead of laying it in a neat and handsome pile4 ,nothing that he does looks neat and finished4 ,nor does he appear to any better advantage in his person4 ,his clothes are put on in a slouching1 uncouth manner2 and he always contrives to have them dirty4 ,he cannot have on clean clothes half an hour without soiling them4 ,he rubs against whatever dirty thing he passes4 ,if he carries milk1 he spills it on his clothes4 ,he drops grease on them at the table4 ,he wallows in the dirt4 ,he contrives to hitch against a nail1 or the latch of a door1 and makes a rent for his mother to mend4 ,if left to himself1 his face would never come in contact with water1 nor his teeth with a brush4 ,you would almost think1 sometimes1 that you could see the grass growing on his upper lip4 ,he comes into the house with his shoes covered with mud1 and never thinks of wiping his feet1 but leaves the prints of them on his mother's clean floor or nice carpet4 ,he seems to forget what scrapers and mats are made for1 for he passes by without using them4 ,he lays his hat on a chair1 or throws it upon the floor1 instead of hanging it in its place4 ,thus he tries the patience of his mother and sisters1 and makes himself unwelcome at his own home4 ,and with this habit is generally associated carelessness4 ,he never seems to be thinking what he is about4 ,he does not see things that are in his way1 but stumbles over them1 breaking1 bruising1 or otherwise injuring them1 and often hurting himself4 ,you dread to see him approach1 lest some mischief should happen4 ,he does not look to see what he steps on1 nor whether his hands have firm hold of the article he takes up4 ,if he passes through a door1 he does not mind whether it was open or shut2 and most likely1 if he finds it open1 in a warm summer's day1 he will close it2 but1 if he finds it carefully shut1 on a freezing day in mid-winter1 he will leave it wide open4 ,a careless person will be constantly meeting with accidents and misfortunes1 and continually subject to the most vexatious mortifications1 which a little thoughtfulness and care would prevent4 ,this habit is a very great fault1 and1 when confirmed1 very difficult to correct4 ,it is therefore the more important1 that it should be taken in season1 and nipped in the bud4 ,i need not tell you what are the opposites of slovenly and careless habits4 ,the neat1 orderly1 and careful boy has an invariable rule1--8,a ,,place ,,for ,,every ,,thing1 ,,and ,,every ,,thing ,,in ,,its ,,place40 ,go into his room at any hour1 and you will find every thing in order4 ,he can go in the dark1 and lay his hand on any thing he wants1 so that he never runs the risk of setting the house on fire1 by carrying a light into his bedroom4 ,he is so much in the habit of putting things in their proper places1 that he never thinks of doing otherwise4 ,he never leaves a thing at random1 where he happens to be using it2 but always puts it where it belongs4 ,when he undresses1 every article of his clothing is folded1 and laid together in the order that it will be wanted in the morning2 so that he loses no time in hunting for it4 ,his clothes are put on and adjusted so as to show a neat fit1 and every button does its office4 ,his shoes are regularly brushed every morning1 and the strings neatly tied1 so that your eye is never offended with the appearance1 nor your ear distressed with the sound1 of dirty1 slip-shod1 flapping shoes4 ,to whatever part of the house he goes1 he leaves it in the order in which he found it2 for it is his invariable rule1 when he uses any thing belonging to another1 to replace it exactly as he found it4 ,when he takes hold of a cup1 or a lamp1 or any such article1 he is careful to get fairly hold1 and then to move moderately1 and not with a jerk2 and by this means1 he seldom meets with any of those accidents which are so annoying to tidy housekeepers4 ,if he goes to the library1 he is careful to replace every book or paper he takes in his hand1 exactly as he found it4 ,if he takes a book to read1 he carries it with care1 firmly grasped in his hand1 and avoids letting it fall1 or hitting it against any thing to bruise the cover4 ,he holds it in such a manner as not to strain the back or crumple the leaves2 and if called away from his reading1 he puts in a mark1 shuts the book1 and lays it in a safe place4 ,he never thinks of using a book for any other purpose than that for which it was made4 ,when he has finished reading it1 he carefully replaces it in the library1 just where he found it4 ,he does not place it wrong end upwards1 nor the title towards the back of the shelf2 but puts it in the place where it belongs1 makes it stand straight1 and shoves it back even with its fellows4 ,all his school books are kept neat and clean4 ,no blots of ink1 nor pencil marks1 nor thumb-prints1 nor dog's-ears1 any where appear4 ,if he passes through a door into or out of a room where others are sitting1 he leaves it open or shut as he found it2 judging that the persons occupying the room1 have adjusted its temperature to their own liking4 ,he is equally careful of his person4 ,he never considers himself dressed1 till he has washed his hands and face1 cleaned his teeth1 and combed his hair2 and he never thinks of sitting down at the table with dirty hands4 ,he learns to keep his clothes neat and clean4 ,at table1 he avoids dropping his food upon them4 ,at school1 he is careful of his ink1 not to bespatter his clothes with it4 ,and at play1 he keeps himself out of the dirt4 ,he will wear his clothes a week1 and have them appear cleaner1 at the end of it1 than the sloven's when he has worn them a single day4 ,he has a care1 also1 of the appearance of the house4 ,he never forgets to use the scraper at the door1 to remove the mud from his feet2 and then he makes it an invariable rule never to pass a mat without wiping his shoes4 ,he never says1 like the sloven1 8,i didn't think10 to excuse himself4 ,he would consider it unpardonable in him not to think2 for what is the ability of thinking worth1 if it never comes when it is wanted4 ,the neat1 orderly boy1 makes himself agreeable to his mother and sisters1 who are always glad to see him coming2 and home is a delightful place to him1 because he meets with smiles and pleasant words4 ,but the sloven exposes himself to sour looks and chiding1 by his dirty habits2 and he finds home a disagreeable place1 because he makes it so4 ,,iii4 ,,rudeness4--,this term does not describe any one habit in particular1 but a great many little ones4 ,webster gives the following definition3 8,,rude3 rough2 of coarse manners2 unpolished2 clownish2 rustic40 ,it is not1 therefore1 a single habit1 but a series of habits4 ,these are so numerous1 it can hardly be expected that ,i should think of them all4 ,the rude boy is rough1 clownish1 and boisterous1 in his manners4 ,he is rude in speech and rude in behavior4 ,he will stalk into the house with his hat on2 and if there is company1 he does not notice them4 ,he talks in a loud and boisterous manner1 often breaking in abruptly upon the conversation of others4 ,if he hears part of a conversation1 and desires to know what it is about1 he abruptly breaks in1 8,who is it8 ,who is it8 ,what is it80 ,and1 often1 he keeps his tongue running continually1 like the incessant clatter of a mill4 ,it is rude and vulgar to interlard conversation with by-words1 or unmeaning phrases1 thrown in at random between the sentences4 ,it is much more so1 to throw in little oaths1 or low1 vulgar expressions4 ,all this shows a disposition to be profane4 ,it is saying1 in effect1 8,i would swear1 if ,i durst40 ,if indulged1 this habit will be very likely to lead on to profaneness4 ,another rude habit1 which boys often indulge1 is1 what is familiarly called 8,,cracking ,,jokes0 upon one another4 ,the object seems to be1 to see who can say the wittiest thing1 at another's expense4 ,but1 in such attempts1 generally1 wit fails2 and the strife is1 which can say the silliest thing1 in the silliest manner4 ,all such low witticisms may be set down as decidedly rude and vulgar4 ,rudeness of behavior manifests itself in so many forms1 that it is scarcely definable4 ,i can only glance at a few things which indicate a want of good breeding4 ,it is rude to be so forward as to treat your superiors as equals1 or to take the lead in all companies4 ,on the other hand1 it is rude to be bashful--to hang down the head1 with a leer of the eye1 in the presence of company1 and refuse to speak when spoken to1 or to speak in a confused and mumbling tone1 as though you had never seen anybody before4 ,it is rude for a boy to take the best seat in the room1 or to take the only seat1 while others are standing4 ,tilting one's chair2 sitting awkwardly on one side of the chair1 or with the feet stretched out at full length2 putting the feet on another's chair2 sitting on two chairs2 rocking2 drumming with the fingers or feet2 scratching books1 furniture1 window-frames1 or walls1--these1 and a hundred other things that might be named1 are rude habits1 which indicate not only the want of good breeding1 but the absence of good taste and a sense of propriety4 ,there are other rude habits1 which boys often contract1 while abroad1 that are wholly out of character for one that would be a gentleman2 such as hallooing in the streets2 jumping on the backside of carriages2 calling out to strangers that are passing2 collecting in groups about public places1 and staring at people4 ,all such behavior is intolerable2 and those who are guilty of it will be set down by all sensible people as low1 ill-bred1 rude boys4 ,,iv4 ,,evil ,,habits4--,i am sorry to say that some boys indulge habits1 that are worse than any ,i have mentioned4 ,boys may be seen strutting through the streets1 puffing segars2 and even sometimes filling their mouths with that loathsome ,indian weed1 tobacco1 as though they thought such vile habits necessary to make them men4 ,and often you will hear the profane oath issuing from their mouth1 along with the foul breath created by this nauseous potion4 ,a disposition to smoke or to chew this filthy1 poisonous substance1 indicates the existence of an intemperate appetite1 and the love of low company4 ,you will1 perhaps1 see the same boys at the shops1 drinking beer4 ,but this is only the prelude to something stronger4 ,tobacco is one of the most active vegetable poisons4 ,it disorders the system and creates an appetite for stimulants4 ,it is dangerous to use it in any form4 ,but when a boy goes so far as to contract a relish for intoxicating drinks1 his ruin is well nigh accomplished4 ,after once giving indulgence to any of these practices1 the downhill road is easy and rapid4 ,about the time when temperance societies began to be formed1 ,i was conversing with a mechanic1 who informed me that almost every one of his fellow-apprentices1 who were in the habit of occasionally drinking intoxicating liquors1 had become drunkards4 ,many years ago1 there were1 in one of our large cities1 fifty young men1 clerks in stores1 who used to frequent a particular place1 to spend their evenings in a social way1 with the wine bottle as a companion of their social cheer4 ,one evening1 one of them1 after retiring1 began to reflect upon the consequences of the course he was pursuing4 ,he came to the conclusion1 that1 if he went on1 it would be his ruin4 ,he resolved that he would never go again4 ,the next evening1 he found himself on the way to the same place4 ,but as he came to the corner of the street which turned towards the place1 he thought of his resolution4 ,he hesitated a moment1 and then said to himself1 8,right about face60 ,he returned1 and was never seen there again4 ,that man is now one of the most wealthy1 respected1 and useful men in the country2 while forty of those who continued their resort to the public house1 became intemperate1 and ,i believe have all gone down to the drunkard's grave4 ,gaming is another evil habit1 which leads to all manner of evil company and evil practices4 ,it has proved the destruction of thousands of promising youth4 ,,never ,,suffer ,,yourself ,,to ,,become ,,the ,,slave ,,of any ,,habit4 ,abstain entirely from intoxicating drinks1 tobacco1 gaming1 and profane language4 ,for when you once begin1 with any of these1 it is like 8the letting out of waters40 ,at first they run very slowly2 but soon they wear away a channel1 and rush on with an impetuosity1 which defies all attempts to stop them4 ,on the coast of ,norway1 there is a great whirlpool1 called the ,maelstrom1 which sometimes swallows up great ships4 ,when a vessel comes near this terrible abyss1 it is first drawn very gently1 with a circular motion4 ,but after it has made one or two rounds1 it goes more and more rapidly1 and draws nearer and nearer the centre1 till finally it reaches the vortex1 is swallowed up1 and is seen no more4 ,so it is with these bad habits4 ,when one gets fairly within the circle of their influence1 his fate is well nigh sealed4 ,the only safety1 with young men and boys1 is to keep far away from the very outer edges of the whirlpool4 ,,chapter ,,xii4 ,,education ,,of ,,the ,,body4 ,the reader will perhaps laugh at the idea of educating the body4 ,but a moment's reflection will show that no part of man more needs education than the body4 ,the design of education1 as ,i have already said is1 to form the character1 and prepare us1 in early life1 for what we are to do in future4 ,for this purpose1 the body needs discipline as well as the mind4 ,an ill body makes an ill mind and a sad heart4 ,the health of the body is necessary to the healthy operation of the mind2 and a healthy body is secured by activity4 ,but the body not only needs health1 but discipline4 ,the fingers must be taught all manner of handiwork1 and exercised upon it1 in order to accustom them to the use that is to be made of them2 the feet must be taught to perform their appropriate duties1 in a graceful and proper manner2 and all the muscles of the body must be exercised1 in due proportion1 to give them strength and solidity4 ,the proper discipline of the several members of the body is necessary1 not only to prepare them for useful occupation1 but to give them a graceful1 natural1 and easy motion1 and so promote good manners and a genteel carriage4 ,i shall not be very particular in what ,i have to say on this subject1 but only give a few gentle hints4 #a4 ,,discipline ,,the ,,body ,,to ,,obey ,,the ,,will4--,you would not think1 to see some young folks1 that the will had any thing to do with the movements of the body2 for it moves in all imaginable ways1 with all sorts of contortions4 ,first flies out a foot1 then a hand1 then there's a twirl or a swing1 then a drumming of the fingers1 a trotting of the foot1 or some such odd figure4 ,this arises from leaving the body to control itself1 by its own natural activity1 the mind taking no supervision of its motions4 ,now1 if you early accustom yourself to exercise a strict mental supervision over the body1 so as never to make any movement whatever1 except what you mean to make1 you will find this habit of great consequence to you2 for1 besides saving you the mortification of a thousand ungraceful movements which habit has rendered natural1 it will enable you to control your nerves1 the necessity for which you will understand better hereafter than you do now4 ,make the will the ruling power of your body1 so as never to do any thing but what you mean to do1 and you will never get the reputation of being nervous4 #b4 ,,avoid ,,late ,,hours4--,it would seem hardly necessary to give such a direction to young persons still under the control of their parents4 ,but facts too plainly show that parents do not always sufficiently consider the injurious effects of late hours upon the fair and healthy development of the human frame4 ,and the disposition of young people to seek amusement overcomes1 with them1 the dictates of prudence4 ,but the practice of sitting up late1 and especially of being abroad late at night1 is a war upon nature4 ,it interrupts the regular course of things4 ,it turns night into day and day into night4 ,if you would be pale-faced1 sickly1 nervous1 and good for nothing1 sit up late at night4 #c4 ,,rise ,,early4--,it is said that1 to have a fair skin1 rosy cheeks1 and a fine complexion1 one must wash every morning in summer in the dew4 ,whether there is any virtue in the dew or not1 ,i cannot say2 but ,i have no doubt that such would be the effect of the practice proposed4 ,to rise early1 before the atmosphere has become heated with the summer's sun1 and walk abroad1 snuffing the cool breeze1 listening to the music of the feathered tribe1 and joining in the sweet harmony of nature1 hymning forth praise to the ,creator1 certainly tends to promote health of body and cheerfulness and serenity of mind2 and these will make a blooming countenance1 and clothe very plain features with an aspect of beauty4 ,the adding of the dew-wash will do no harm4 ,if you make a rule of washing in the dew1 it will stimulate you to sally forth before the sun has driven it away2 and you can find no softer water than the dew4 #d4 ,,use ,,plenty ,,of ,,water4--,the body cannot be kept in a healthy state1 without frequent bathing4 ,it should be washed all over1 with cold water1 at least once every day1 to promote health and cleanliness4 ,one who has never tried it can have no idea of its invigorating effects2 and it seems hardly possible that the human system can keep long in order1 while this is neglected4 ,the machinery of a watch1 after a while1 gets dirty1 so that it will not run till it is taken to pieces and cleaned4 ,but the machinery of the human body is vastly more intricate than that of a watch4 ,it is made up of an endless number of parts1 of various patterns1 some of them of the most delicate texture and exquisite workmanship1 but all parts of a great machine that is constantly in motion4 ,and there is provision made for carrying off all the dirt that accumulates on its wheels and bands1 in little tubes1 which discharge it upon the surface of the skin4 ,but unless frequently washed off1 it accumulates1 and stops up the ends of these little tubes1 and prevents their discharging1 so that the offensive and poisonous matter which they would carry off is kept in the system4 ,let this go on a little while1 and it cannot fail to produce disease4 ,therefore1 ,i say1 use plenty of water4 #e4 ,,take ,,care ,,of ,,your ,,teeth4--,the teeth have a very important office to perform in the animal economy--that of preparing the food for the stomach4 ,what is not done by the teeth must be done by the digestive organs4 ,therefore1 your health is deeply concerned in the preservation of a good set of teeth4 ,the voice and the countenance1 also1 plead with you to take care of your teeth4 ,in almost all cases1 teeth may be saved from decay1 if attended to in time4 ,the best directions ,i can give for preserving the teeth are1 to clean them every day with a brush1 and pick them after every meal with a pointed quill1 so as to remove all the particles of food from between them1 and the tartar that adheres to the surface2--cleanliness1 as well as the safety of the teeth1 requires this4 ,you ought to have your teeth examined and attended to1 by a dentist1 once or twice a year4 ,keeping them clean preserves them from decay2 and if decay commences1 a dentist can stop it1 if he can take them in season4 #f4 ,,be ,,active4--,the body was made for use4 ,every part of it is formed for activity4 ,but any thing made for use will suffer injury to lie still4 ,the human body1 especially1 if suffered to remain inactive1 becomes useless4 ,activity strengthens the parts4 ,if you would have more strength1 you must use what you have1 and it will increase4 ,the right use of your members1 also1 must be learned by practice4 ,much practice is necessary1 for instance1 to train the fingers to the various uses in which they are to be employed1 so as1 7to use a homely phrase17 to make them handy4 ,the body1 likewise1 needs exercise1 to keep it in a healthy state4 ,the various parts of its machinery have a great work to do1 every day1 in turning your food into blood1 and sending it a great many thousand times1 in a vast number of little streams1 to every part of the body4 ,but this machinery will not work1 if the body is all the time inactive4 ,it requires motion1 to give it power4 ,there is nothing1 therefore1 so bad for it as laziness4 ,it is like a dead calm to a windmill1 which stops all its machinery4 #g4 ,,learn1 ,,at ,,proper ,,times1 ,,to ,,be ,,still4--,all nature needs repose4 ,if the human system were always kept in the utmost activity1 it would soon wear out4 ,for this reason1 ,god has given us periodical seasons of rest--a part of every day1 and one whole day in seven4 ,there are times1 also1 when it is not proper to be active2 as1 when you are at your devotions1 or at family worship1 or in the house of ,god4 ,so1 likewise1 at school1 or in company1 or when you sit down with the family at home1 as well as in many other cases1 activity is out of place4 ,your body1 therefore1 will never be educated1 till you have obtained such control over it1 as to be able1 at proper times1 to be still4 ,and ,i may say1 it is a great accomplishment in a young person1 to know just when to be still1 and to have self-control enough to be still just at the proper time4 #h4 ,,be ,,careful ,,to ,,keep ,,the ,,body ,,in ,,its ,,natural ,,position4--,this is necessary1 not only to preserve its beauty1 but to prevent deformity4 ,sitting at school1 or at any sedentary employment1 is liable to produce some unnatural twist or bend of the body4 ,the human form1 in its natural position1 is a model of beauty4 ,but1 when bad habits turn it out of shape1 it offends the eye4 ,avoid a stooping posture1 or an inclination to either side4 ,but sit and stand erect1 with the small of the back curved in1 the chest thrown forward1 the shoulders back1 and the head upright4 ,a little attention to these things every day1 while the body is growing1 and the bones and muscles are in a flexible state1 will give your form a beauty and symmetry1 which you can never acquire afterwards1 if you neglect it at this time of life4 ,and it will do more1 a thousand times1 to keep you in health1 than all the doctor's pill-boxes4 #i4 ,,avoid ,,tight-,,dressing1 ,,as ,,you ,,would ,a ,,black ,,snake4--,you will1 perhaps1 smile at this4 ,but if you know any thing of the black snake1 you will recollect that it assaults not with deadly venom1 but winds itself around its victim1 stops the circulation of the blood1 and1 if it reaches high enough1 makes a rope of itself1 to strangle him4 ,i need not tell you that the effects of tight-dressing are similar4 ,whatever part of the body1--whether neck1 chest1 arms1 limbs or feet1--is pinched with tight covering1 is subject to the same strangling process produced by the black snake4 ,it obstructs the free circulation of the blood1 and produces a tendency to disease in the part so compressed4 ,if you feel an unpleasant tightness in any part of your dress1 remember the black snake4 #aj4 ,,discipline ,,the ,,muscles ,,of ,,the ,,face4--,you may think this a queer direction2 but ,i assure you it is given with all gravity4 ,if you allow every temper of the heart to find a corresponding expression in the muscles of the face1 you will be sure to spoil the fairest countenance4 ,how would you feel1 if you were to see an accomplished young person1 with fine features1 and a beautiful countenance2 but on coming near1 should discover little holes in the face1 from which1 every now and then1 vipers and venomous serpents were thrusting out their heads and hissing at you8 ,well1 the evil tempers of the heart1 such as pride1 vanity1 envy1 jealousy1 c41 are a nest of vipers2 and1 when indulged1 they will spit out their venom through the countenance4 ,how often do we see a proud1 scornful1 sour1 morose1 or jealous expression1 that has fairly been worn into the features of the countenance6 ,and what is this but the hissing of vipers that dwell within8 ,strive to acquire such self-control1 as to keep a calm1 serene expression upon your countenance2 and you cannot tell how much it will add to your appearance4 #aa4 ,,be ,,temperate4--,to be strictly temperate is1 to avoid all excess4 ,not only abstain from eating and drinking what is hurtful1 but use moderation in all things--in eating and drinking1 in running and walking1 in play1 in amusement4 ,,chapter ,,xiii4 ,,on ,,useful ,,labor4 ,i have seen boys who would make incredible exertion to accomplish any thing which they undertook for their own amusement2 but who1 when called upon to do any thing useful1 would demur and complain1 put on sour looks1 and conjure up a multitude of objections1 making the thing to be done like lifting a mountain4 ,whenever any work is to be done1 8there is a lion in the way20 and the objections they make1 and the difficulties they interpose1 make you feel as if you would rather do it a dozen times yourself1 than to ask them to lift a little finger4 ,the real difficulty is in the boy's own mind4 ,he has no idea of being useful2 no thought of doing any thing but to seek his own pleasure2 and he is mean enough to look on and see his father and mother toil and wear themselves out to bring him up in idleness4 ,play1 play1 play1 from morning till night1 is all his ambition4 ,now1 ,i do not object to his playing2 but what ,i would find fault with is1 that he should wish to play all the time4 ,i would not have him work all the time1 for 8,all work and no play makes ,jack a dull boy20 neither would ,i have him play all the time1 for 8,all play and no work makes ,jack a mere toy40 ,there is not a spark of manliness in such a boy2 and he never will be a man1 till he alters his notions4 ,there is another boy1 who has more heart--a better disposition4 ,when called to do any thing1 he is always ready and willing4 ,his heart dilates at the thought of helping his father or his mother--of being useful4 ,he takes hold with alacrity4 ,you would think the work he is set about would be despatched in a trice4 ,but he is chicken-hearted4 ,instead of conquering his work1 he suffers his work to conquer him4 ,he works briskly for a few minutes1 and then he begins to flag4 ,instead of working away1 with steady perseverance1 he stops every minute or two1 and looks at his work1 and wishes it were done4 ,but wishing is not working2 and his work does not get done in this way4 ,the more he gazes at it1 the more like a mountain it appears4 ,at length1 he sits down to rest2 and finally1 after having suffered more from the dread of exertion than it would have cost him to do his work a dozen times1 he gives it up1 and goes to his father or mother1 and in a desponding tone and with a sheepish look1 he says1 8,i can't do it60 ,he is a coward4 ,he has suffered himself to be conquered by a wood-pile which he was told to saw1 or by a few weeds in the garden that he was required to dig up4 ,he will never make a man1 till he gets courage enough to face his work with resolution1 and to finish it with a manly perseverance4 8,i can't10 never made a man4 ,here is another boy1 who has got the notion into his head that he is going to live without work4 ,his father is rich2 or he intends to be a professional man1 or a merchant2 and he thinks it of no use for him to learn to work4 ,he feels above labor4 ,he means to be a gentleman4 ,but he is very much mistaken as to what constitutes a gentleman4 ,he has altogether erroneous and false views of things4 ,whatever may be his situation in life1 labor is necessary to exercise and develope the muscular powers of his body4 ,if he grows up in indolence1 he will be weak and effeminate1 never possessing the vigor of a man4 ,and whatever sphere of life he may occupy hereafter1 he will never possess independence and energy of character enough to accomplish any thing4 ,a man who does not know how to work1 is not more than half a man4 ,he is so dependent upon others1 that he can accomplish nothing without help4 ,nor can wealth1 or education1 or professional knowledge1 supply the deficiency4 ,wealth is very uncertain4 8,riches take to themselves wings20 and they are especially liable to fly away from men who have been bred up in idle1 do-nothing habits4 ,and what will they do when their wealth is gone8 ,they have never made any exertion1 or depended on themselves4 ,they have no energy of character4 ,they have no knowledge of any useful employment4 ,they cannot dig1 and to beg they are ashamed4 ,they either sink down1 in utter discouragement1 to the lowest depths of poverty1 or else they resort to dishonest means of obtaining money4 ,i have before me a letter1 written to a gentleman in ,boston1 from a boy in the ,house of ,correction1 who got there by trying to live without work4 ,after telling how bad he felt to be shut up in prison1 and how bitter his reflections upon his past life were1 he says1 8,i thought that as long as ,i could live without work1 and get my living dishonestly1 ,i would go ahead2 but my high life was soon stopped40 ,here you perceive that his temptation to be dishonest arose from his dislike of work4 ,but now1 he says1 he is convinced that the best way to get a living is by honest labor4 ,and so you will find it4 ,there is no one more exposed to temptation than the idle boy4 8,satan finds some mischief still ,for idle hands to do40 ,one who undertakes to get a living without work will be very likely to fall into dishonest practices1 and get shut up in prison4 ,equally necessary is it for a man of learning1 or a professional man1 to know how to do with his own hands the most common things4 ,if dependent on his own earnings for a support1 he will not be able to hire every thing done to his hand2 or1 if able1 he will not always find any one to do it4 ,and as to the merchant1 his life1 from the very first1 is a life of incessant toil and labor4 ,the lazy boy1 who goes into a store as a clerk1 with such notions in his head about work1 will be served as the working bees serve their drones--he will be dragged out of the hive4 ,the boy that despises work1 sets himself against nature2 and if he succeeds in making any thing of himself1 he will contradict the voice of all history4 ,when man fell from his innocency1 it was determined that he should eat his bread in the sweat of his brow4 ,it is in vain for his posterity to attempt to evade this curse4 ,if they refuse to toil1 they will suffer a worse disaster1 as the penalty of their disobedience4 ,disease1 or poverty1 or both1 will follow the lazy track of the sluggard4 ,this result1 ,solomon has described1 in the most glowing terms3 8,i went by the field of the slothful1 and by the vineyard of the man void of understanding2 and lo1 it was all grown over with thorns2 nettles had covered the face thereof1 and the stone wall thereof was broken down4 ,yet a little sleep1 a little slumber1 a little folding of the hands to sleep2 so shall thy poverty come as one that travaileth1 and thy want as an armed man40 ,many of the ancient nations used to have a law requiring every young man to have a knowledge of some branch of labor4 ,there appears to have been such a custom among the ,jews4 ,paul1 though belonging to a wealthy family1 and bred a lawyer1 in the highest school in the nation1 was yet brought up to a trade4 ,and when he came to devote himself to his ,master's service1 he found his tent-maker's trade of great use to him4 ,and whatever occupation you design to follow1 you will find use for all the practical knowledge of work1 of handicraft1 or of mechanical skill1 you can acquire in early life4 ,in the empire of ,china1 labor is held in such esteem1 that the emperor1 on the day of his coronation1 is required to plough a furrow with his own hand4 ,and if you look over the page of history1 both ancient and modern1 you will find that many of the greatest men that ever lived1 were accustomed to follow some laborious occupation4 ,david1 the poet king1 the sweet singer of ,israel1 whose name has been embalmed in the hearts of the pious in all ages1 when a boy1 was occupied in keeping his father's sheep4 ,dr4 ,franklin was the son of a mechanic in ,boston1 and was bred a printer4 ,washington1 the father of his country1 was a farmer4 ,and the blessed ,savior himself has set an example of industry and love of labor1 which should put to shame every pseudo-gentleman who despises the labor of the hands4 ,his apostles1 also1 were called from laborious occupations to preach the gospel2 and many of the most eminent of his ministers and missionaries of the present day have been called from the plough or the workshop2 and some of them have worked their way through a long course of study1 bearing the expenses of their education with the labor of their hands4 ,we may safely conclude1 then1 that1 whoever despises labor is a fool2 for he despises the only thing that can make him ,a ,,man4 ,but industry is not only necessary to make you a man2 it is necessary to make you happy4 ,some boys have such an aversion to labor1 that they would think themselves perfectly happy if they had nothing to do4 ,but they are greatly mistaken4 ,they might like such a life a day or two2 but they would soon get tired of it4 ,the children at the ,sandwich ,islands have nothing to do4 ,their parents have no employment for them4 ,they grow up in idleness4 ,a missionary1 writing to the children of this country1 says1 8,now1 does any one say1 #8,happy1 happy children1 inhabiting these sunny isles6 ,absolutely nothing to do1 but to seek their own gratification1 without fear or restraint6' ,happy8 ,no4 ,the goats which graze the sides of their mountains may be happy2 or the kitten which gambols on your kitchen hearth may be happy2 but these children are not happy40 ,they often go hungry4 ,their parents were brought up in idleness1 also2 and now they will not work if they can help it4 ,they receive no assistance from their children1 and often have no food to give them4 ,the children frequently live upon roots1 which they dig in the mountains1 or upon sugar-cane1 which they find in the fields4 ,after spending the day in idleness1 they often have to go supperless to bed4 ,in many parts of the islands1 also1 the children1 who have no disposition to labor and obtain clothing1 suffer much from cold4 ,they go almost naked2 and when night comes1 they lie down on a bare mat1 with the dogs and fleas4 ,would the children of ,america exchange their warm beds and sweet sleep1 for the leisure and hard fare of these young ,sandwich ,islanders8 ,but in sickness1 their sufferings are much greater4 ,they are destitute of nearly every comfort2 they have no physician2 and they receive very little attention from their parents and friends4 ,no kind mother watches over their couch at night4 ,if they suffer1 they suffer alone2 if they die1 they die unattended4 ,idleness1 also1 makes these children vicious4 ,having nothing useful to do1 they are always ready for every evil work4 ,they tempt each other to sin4 ,they rush together the downward road2 and if spared to become men1 they are poor and degraded1 diseased and miserable4 ,but perhaps you will say1 8,these ,sandwich ,islanders are uncivilized heathen2 and this is what makes them so wretched40 ,but you need not go to heathen lands1 to see the bad effects of the want of useful employment1 upon boys and young men4 ,in the ,southern ,states1 all the labor is done by slaves4 ,it is esteemed disgraceful for a white man to work4 ,the consequence is1 that the boys grow up in idleness and vice4 ,they learn every thing that is bad4 ,they grow up with strong and fiery passions1 and vicious inclinations unsubdued4 ,among the young men1 gambling1 horse-racing1 and other social vices1 generally prevail4 ,but many of them become poor2 and then they are as wretched as the poor ,sandwich ,islanders4 ,there is1 perhaps1 no class of persons1 in this country1 more degraded than the poor whites in the slave states4 ,and their poverty and wretchedness may be traced to the fact1 that it is disgraceful1 among them1 for white men to labor4 ,there is no country on earth where there is less of squalid poverty1 and where the people generally enjoy more comfort and happiness1 than in ,new ,england4 ,and what is the reason8 ,there is1 probably1 no other country in the world where the people are so industrious--where all the people are engaged in some useful employment4 ,in ,new ,england1 boys are set to work as soon as they are old enough to handle a hoe1 an axe1 or a spade4 ,every child has something to do1 which adds something to the family's comfort4 ,and where1 in the wide world1 will you find so many smiling1 happy faces as among the children of ,new ,england8 ,this is the true reason why they are so much happier than the children of the ,sandwich ,islands4 ,the ,yankee boy may sometimes get tired of his work2 but if he had nothing to do1 he would be absolutely miserable4 ,it is not in the nature of a son of ,new ,england to be happy without employment4 ,and1 where you find one of them educated1 and rising to eminence in professional life1 if you trace back his history1 in most cases1 you will learn that1 when a boy1 he worked on his father's farm1 or in his father's shop4 ,and if you could see him seeking relaxation and amusement1 you would often find him engaged in the same kind of labor that he used to perform when a boy4 ,when one of the convicts in the state prison has committed an offence1 they punish him by shutting him up in his cell alone1 and giving him nothing to do4 ,for a little while he is glad to be relieved from his work2 but very soon1 he begs for it again4 ,nothing is so hard for him to bear as doing nothing4 ,if1 then1 you would be virtuous and happy1--if you would be qualified to brave the storms of life's troubled ocean1--cultivate the love of useful labor4 ,this will give you independence of character4 ,it will give you the ability to take care of yourself4 ,it will make you despise the fawning sycophant1 who would sell his birthright for a piece of bread4 ,it will save you from the temptation to surrender your independence1 or commit any act of meanness or dishonesty for the sake of a living4 ,,chapter ,,xiv4 ,,education ,,of ,,the ,,heart4 ,by the heart1 ,i mean the moral faculties1 in distinction from the intellectual4 ,any action is moral1 which can be praised or blamed4 ,the moral faculties are those which determine moral action4 ,these faculties are1 the ,conscience1 ,will1 and ,affections4 ,in this division1 ,i do not attempt metaphysical exactness1 but only what ,i can make my readers understand4 ,when ,i speak of educating these faculties1 ,i do not mean to separate the process from that of religious education in general2 for nothing can be well done1 in the formation of character1 without religious principle and motives at the foundation4 ,but my object is1 to speak of the specific means by which these faculties may be cultivated4 ,it may be necessary for me to explain what ,i mean by the ,conscience1 ,will1 and ,affections4 ,yet it does not fall in with my design1 neither would it suit the age and capacities of those for whom ,i write1 to enter into a philosophical description1 or analysis1 of the faculties of the mind1 or affections of the heart4 ,i shall only give such simple explanations as are sufficient for my purpose1 and as ,i suppose will be understood by my readers4 ,i4 ,,the ,,conscience4--,this is the faculty which determines whether any action proposed to the mind1 or any feeling of the heart1 is right or wrong4 ,if you will watch the motions of your own mind1 you will perceive1 whenever any thing is proposed to be done or not to be done1 something within tells you that it is either right or wrong2 if wrong1 you find the same something within1 urging you not to do it2 or1 if right1 the same impulse moves you to do it4 ,if you do as you are thus urged1 you find the same voice within approving what you have done1 or1 if you do not obey1 condemning you4 ,this something within is ,,conscience4 ,you have1 doubtless1 lived long enough to experience many a conflict1 or dispute1 between your conscience and your inclinations4 ,you are inclined to do something which your conscience tells you is wrong2 but conscience not only tells you it is wrong1 but urges you not to do it4 ,your inclinations1 or desires1 urge you in the contrary direction2 and this creates a conflict4 ,if conscience prevails1 then it approves your decision1 and you feel happy4 ,but1 if inclination prevails1 conscience upbraids1 and you feel miserable4 ,as ,i have defined education1 you will see the great importance of educating the conscience4 ,it is the leading moral faculty1 and must have a great influence upon the moral character4 ,for the conscience itself may be wrong4 ,it is not itself the rule by which you are to determine what is right and wrong4 ,the ,word of ,god is the rule4 ,the office of conscience is1 to determine whether any thing you propose to do is agreeable to the rule1 and to urge you1 accordingly1 to do it or not to do it4 ,suppose you wish to determine whether any thing is straight2 you lay a rule upon it that you suppose to be straight1 and if they agree1 that settles the matter4 ,your eye1 comparing the object with the rule1 determines whether it is straight or not4 ,but1 if the rule applied is crooked1 your eye is deceived1 and you misjudge4 ,conscience is the eye of the soul1 that compares an action with the rule4 ,the conscience1 then1 must be well instructed4 ,you must learn the rule of right from the ,word of ,god1 and then conscience will always decide right4 ,but1 if you adopt false notions of right and wrong1 your very conscience will lead you astray4 ,the first thing1 then1 in the education of the heart is1 to have it filled with right principles2 and these you are to obtain from the study of the ,bible1 and from listening to the instructions of your parents1 teachers1 and ministers4 ,the next thing is1 always to obey the voice of conscience4 ,if you go contrary to it1 and do what conscience tells you is wrong1 or neglect what it urges upon you as duty1 you weaken that faculty1 and harden the heart4 ,when you refuse to hearken to the voice of conscience1 the next time it will not speak so loud2 and every time this is repeated1 the weaker it grows1 till at length it is scarcely heard at all1 and you may go on and sin almost without restraint4 ,if you will look back a little while in your own experience1 you will see the force of what ,i say4 ,if you have ever fallen into the habit of secretly disobeying your parents1 you will find an illustration of it4 ,the first time you were tempted to disobey1 your conscience was very loud against it2 but the temptation1 falling in with your inclinations1 prevailed4 ,then conscience upbraided you with a voice of terror4 ,but you were not discovered1 and no immediate evil followed4 ,the next time the temptation presented itself1 the remonstrance of conscience was feeble1 and its condemnation light4 ,the next time it was feebler still2 till at length you could do with careless indifference what at first made you shudder4 ,but when the power of conscience is gone1 there is but one step more to ruin4 ,if1 then1 you would keep your conscience tender1 you must always obey its voice4 ,another means of educating the conscience is1 the habit of thinking with approbation of what is right1 and putting out of the mind with horror all thoughts of what is wrong4 ,the most hateful things1 by becoming familiar to the sight1 lose much of the horror which they excite at first4 ,a person who had never seen an animal killed would be deeply affected at the sight2 but a butcher thinks nothing of it4 ,so1 by thinking much of what is wrong1 the conscience becomes defiled1 and ceases to act with promptness and decision2 while1 if kept familiar only with the good1 it would revolt instantly from the bad4 ,,ii4 ,,the ,,will4--,this is the faculty that chooses or refuses4 ,it is the decisive faculty4 ,it is the power that determines action1 whether good or bad4 ,it is the ruling faculty of the soul4 ,i said conscience was the leading faculty1 because it goes before the action of the will1 and moves it to choose what is right4 ,the will is the ruling faculty1 because it determines all action4 ,the way to educate the will is1 to accustom it to submit to the dictates of conscience4 ,the will1 in our fallen and depraved state1 is turbulent and unsubmissive4 ,it is not disposed to submit to the law of ,god1 nor to those whom ,god has set over us4 ,yet there is nothing of more importance to our happiness and usefulness than the early subjection of the will4 ,if you determine that you will always have your own will1 you will certainly be unhappy2 for it is impossible that you should always have your own way4 ,but if you early accustom yourself to give up your own will2 to submit to the will of ,god1 as made known to you in his word and ,providence1--to submit to your parents1 as those whom ,god has set over you1 and to your own conscience1 as the faithful monitor which ,god has placed in your own bosom1--then you will be as happy as you can be in this imperfect state4 ,this you will not accomplish all at once4 ,it must be the result of experience1 trial1 and discipline1 with the grace of ,god in your heart4 ,but if you begin to cultivate the habit of submission1 in early life1 it will save you many a severe struggle and much unhappiness4 ,you have doubtless learned1 before this time1 that you always get into difficulty at home1 when you set out to have your own will4 ,and perhaps you have sometimes1 in your impatience at contradiction1 secretly wished that you were of age1 beyond the control of your parents1 that you might do as you pleased4 ,but ,i assure you1 both from my own experience and from what ,i have seen of the world1 that you will not find it any easier to have your own will1 after you come to act for yourself4 ,you will not succeed in any thing you undertake to do for others1 unless you give up your own will2 neither will you succeed in making society agreeable to yourself4 ,suppose you go to a shoemaker1 to get a pair of shoes made1 and as soon as you begin to tell him how you wish them done1 he answers1 8,i understand my business2 if you want a pair of shoes1 ,i'll make them for you1 but nobody can teach me how to do my work80 ,you would say1 8,he is a surly creature2 ,i'll have nothing to do with him40 ,or1 suppose you go into company1 and you find a young lady who will consent to nothing except what she herself proposes2 you say1 8,she is a selfish creature2 let her enjoy herself alone40 ,but all this comes from mere wilfulness4 ,you never will be comfortable1 much less happy1 till you are willing to yield to others1 when no principle is concerned1 but only the mere gratification of your own will4 ,and when one is employed by another1 it is perfectly reasonable that he should be directed by his employer1 even if what he is directed to do may appear to him unwise4 ,the only way that you can succeed1 and be happy1 in any thing you may undertake to do for others1 is1 to submit your will to theirs1 and do cheerfully1 and without objection1 what they require--provided1 only1 that they do not require you to do wrong4 ,if you will look back1 you will find that this wilfulness has been the cause of all the trouble you have got into with your parents1 and of nearly all the altercations you have had with your brothers1 sisters1 and companions4 ,and1 if you retain this disposition1 it will make you miserable1 whatever station in society you may occupy4 ,a little boy1 named ,truman1 lost his own mother2 and when he was four or five years of age1 his father married again4 ,his new mother was an excellent lady1 very affectionate and kind-hearted toward the children4 ,but one day1 when she was teaching ,truman how to read1 she could not make him say his lesson correctly4 ,she therefore used the rod till he submitted1 and read as he ought4 ,he was afterwards overheard talking with himself1 about his conduct3--8,tru1 what made you treat your dear mother so8 ,hasn't she always been kind to you80 8,yes1 ,i know she has4 ,she loves me1 and tries to do me all the good she can40 8,then how could you be so naughty1 to treat her so80 8,i know ,i have been a very naughty boy1 and treated her very bad indeed when she has been very kind to me2 and she was trying then to teach me for my own good40 8,what can you say for yourself1 then8 ,how did you come to behave so80 8,i can't say any thing for myself2 ,i know it was very mean4 ,i feel ashamed to think ,i could treat her so2 and ,i'll never do it again as long as ,i live4 ,but ,i thought ,i would just try for once1 and see who was master40 ,the object of this little boy was to have his own will4 ,he was not willing to submit to his mother1 till he had tried his strength1 to see whose will should prevail4 ,he got a severe chastisement1 and had to submit after all4 ,and so it will always be with you1 if you set out with the determination1 if possible1 always to have your own will4 ,you will be always getting into difficulty1 and gain nothing by it in the end4 ,,iii4 ,,the ,,affections4--,i shall not undertake1 in this place1 to give a full and complete definition of the affections4 ,it will answer my present purpose1 to say that the affections are the feelings or emotions of the heart4 ,this may not be philosophically accurate2 but when my readers come1 at a more advanced age1 to study mental and moral philosophy1 they can enlarge their views4 ,for all practical purposes1 this will answer4 ,and what ,i mean by educating the affections is1 to acquire the habit of controlling the feelings1 so as to suppress the bad and cultivate the good4 ,you hear people talk of good and bad dispositions4 ,but a good disposition is only the preponderance of good feelings2 or in other words1 where good feelings and good tempers prevail1 we say that person has a good disposition2 but if bad feelings and evil tempers predominate1 we say he has a bad disposition4 ,there is no doubt a difference in natural dispositions4 ,but with suitable efforts1 and especially with the aid of ,god's grace1 much may be done to cultivate and improve them4 ,with these preliminary remarks1 ,i proceed to give some rules for the cultivation of the affections4 #a4 ,,check ,,the ,,first ,,risings ,,of ,,ill-,,temper4--,the smith1 who makes an edged tool1--an axe1 a knife1 or any such instrument1--first works the iron and steel into the form which he wishes1 and then tempers it4 ,while he is working it1 he wants to keep it soft1 so that he can work it easy2 and this he does by keeping it hot4 ,but after he gets it finished1 he heats it in the fire1 and dips it in water1 so as to cool it suddenly1 and that makes it hard4 ,but1 if he left it so1 it would be so hard that it would break all to pieces as soon as it was used4 ,so he holds it again over the fire1 and heats it a little1 to take out a part of the temper1 and make it just of the hardness that he wishes4 ,an instrument that is very hard is called high-tempered2 one that is very soft is low-tempered4 ,this is a good illustration of temper as it appears in us4 ,a high temper is one that is easily excited1 and that runs so high as to be in danger of doing great mischief4 ,a low temper is a disposition easy and indifferent1 like a knife tempered so little that the edge will turn the first time it is used4 ,now you want temper enough not to be indifferent1 but not so much as to fly all in pieces4 ,and ,i know nothing on which your usefulness and happiness more depend1 than in the proper regulation of your temper2 and not your own happiness alone1 but the happiness of all around you4 ,one of the first and greatest moral lessons is1 to learn to control your temper4 8,he that is slow to anger10 says ,solomon1 8is better than the mighty2 and he that ruleth his spirit1 than he that taketh a city40 ,but1 8,he that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls40 ,by indulging an ungoverned temper1 you expose yourself to many evils4 ,you show the weak points of your character1 and lose the good opinion of others1 and your own self-respect4 ,you cannot help thinking meanly of yourself after having broken out in a sudden gust of anger1 or given indulgence to a peevish1 fretful spirit4 ,to be ill-humored1 peevish1 or cross1 is to be unhappy1 and to make others unhappy4 ,but a sweet temper will not only make you happy1 but1 like the balmy breezes of a summer evening1 it will shed a sweet fragrance all around you4 ,nothing will render your character more unlovely than ill-temper4 ,nor1 if habitually indulged at home1 can it be concealed even from the most careless observer4 ,you will carry the mark of it wherever you go4 ,there will be the ill-natured scowl1 the knit brow1 the distorted features1 which no sweet-scented soap can wash out1 and no cosmetic hide4 ,it will spoil the most elegant features1 and mar the most beautiful countenance4 ,but a sweet temper will hide a thousand defects1 and render the most ordinary features beautiful and lovely4 ,i do not know any thing that adds a greater charm to the youthful countenance4 ,but1 if you would have a sweet temper1 you must suppress every ill-natured feeling2 never suffer yourself to be angry at trifles1 nor get into a storm of passion on any account3 neither indulge a peevish1 fretful disposition2 but1 on the contrary1 cultivate and cherish good-nature1 in every possible way4 ,strive to be pleased with every thing around you1 unless it is positively bad2 and never suffer the ill-humors of others to disturb your own tranquillity4 ,the noisy cataract comes splashing its muddy waters over the side of the mountain1 leaping from rock to rock1 now shouting1 now murmuring1 now scolding1 now rushing on in the wildest fury1 till it plunges into the great river2 but the river rolls quietly on its majestic way1 undisturbed by the babbling waterfall1 which only makes a momentary ripple upon the surface of its placid waters4 ,but1 suppose the river should stop its course1 to quarrel with the noisy waterfall1 what would be the consequence8 ,the whole country would be inundated with the fury of its pent-up waters4 ,you cannot afford to get angry with every one that is disposed to treat you ill4 ,it costs too much4 ,did you ever see a dog barking at the moon8 ,and what did the moon do8 ,it went right straight on1 and minded nothing about it4 ,the moon can't afford to stop and quarrel with the dog that barks at it4 8,i know it is very foolish to be angry10 perhaps you will say2 8but how can ,i help it8 ,i am suddenly provoked1 and fall into a passion before ,i have time to think of it40 ,the best remedy ,i can recommend is1 that you make it a rule never to be angry till you have had time to consider whether you have any thing to be angry about4 ,and1 in making inquiry1 do not ask whether the conduct that provoked you was bad2 but1 in the first place1 try if you cannot find some apology for it1 or some palliation2 and1 second1 whether1 admitting it to be as bad as it seems1 it is really worth so great a sacrifice of feeling1 on your part1 as you will have to make1 if you indulge your passions4 ,and1 among other considerations1 ask yourself how this thing will appear a hundred years hence1 when both yourself and the person who has provoked you1 will be in eternity3--8,if ,i indulge my passions in this thing1 shall ,i then be able to look back upon it with pleasure80 ,some such reflections as these will tend greatly to cool your anger2 and most likely1 before you have thought upon the matter many minutes1 you will conclude that it is not worth while to be angry4 ,so likewise1 if you are given to fretfulness and ill-humor1 consider whether there is any sufficient cause why you should thus make yourself miserable8 ,and you will probably find that all your trouble is imaginary4 ,remember that every thing that concerns you is ordered by the providence of ,god2 and think how much cause of thankfulness you have1 every day1 for his goodness4 ,and what has he done that you should fret against him8 ,he has perhaps suffered your will to be crossed2 but he has done it for your good4 ,think1 also1 how this will appear a hundred years hence8 8,how will my fretfulness appear1 when ,i look back upon it1 from another world80 ,and if there were no sin in it1 is there not much folly8--for 8why should ,i make myself miserable80 #b4 ,,never ,,give ,,the ,,least ,,indulgence ,,to ,a ,,jealous ,,or ,,envious ,,spirit4--,to be jealous1 is to suspect others of being unfriendly to us1 or of a design to injure us4 ,to be envious1 is to be displeased with the prosperity of others1 especially if they are likely to excel us4 ,the effect of these two passions upon the disposition is very similar4 ,if you are jealous of any person1 you will be always looking for some evil design in his conduct2 and your imagination will conjure up a thousand things that never had any existence1 except in your own mind4 ,this passion1 habitually indulged1 very often settles down into a kind of monomania1 or partial insanity4 ,i have known persons1 whose imaginings1 through the influence of jealousy1 became realities to their minds1 and they would roundly assert as facts1 the things that they had imagined respecting others4 ,such persons are perpetually in trouble1 because they fancy some one is plotting against them4 ,your own comfort1 therefore1 depends on your suppressing the first motions of this evil affection4 ,while you should be on your guard against imposition1 and never confide implicitly in strangers1 nor put yourself in the power of any one whose character has not been proved1 yet you should presume others to be friendly till they show themselves otherwise1 and always give their conduct the best construction it will bear4 ,let me give you an example4 ,there is ,laura ,williams1--she is always in trouble1 for fear some one does not like her4 ,if any of her companions seem to take more notice of some other one than of herself1 she begins to be jealous that their professions of friendship are not real2 and if any one happens not to notice her for once1 she considers it a slight2 and so her feelings are perpetually disturbed4 ,she is never happy4 ,sometimes she will weep1 as if her heart would break1 for some fancied slight2 when1 in reality1 she has no occasion for trouble1 and might just as well laugh as cry4 ,she will be unhappy as long as she lives1 and perhaps crazy before she dies1 if she does not overcome this passion4 ,envy is a more depraved passion than jealousy2 but the effect upon the character is nearly similar4 ,you will find a melancholy illustration of the nature and effects of envy1 in the story of ,haman1 in the ,book of ,esther4 ,though exalted to the second place in the kingdom1 he could not enjoy his elevation1 so long as ,mordecai the ,jew sat in the king's gate4 ,he could endure no rival4 ,but you will find examples enough of this passion among your own companions4 ,there are those that cannot bear a rival2 and if any of their companions excel themselves1 they hate them4 ,but consider how mean and ignoble such a feeling is4 ,a truly generous spirit will rejoice in whatever is excellent--will love excellence wherever it appears2 but a mean and selfish spirit would monopolize every thing to itself1 and be offended1 if excelled by others4 ,every noble sentiment revolts at the spirit of envy2 so that this base passion always defeats itself4 ,the envious person would be exalted above all2 but envy debases him below all1 and renders him despicable and miserable4 #c4 ,,acquire ,,the ,,habit ,,of ,,regarding ,,every ,,one ,,with ,,feelings ,,of ,,good-,,will4--,there are some persons1 who accustom themselves to look upon others with a critical eye1 and seem to take pleasure in detecting and exposing their failings4 ,this leads to misanthropy2 it makes people ill-natured4 ,it leads them to look upon almost every one as an object of aversion4 ,if this disposition begins in early life1 and continues to be cultivated1 it will grow and increase1 till it settles at last into a sour1 morose1 malignant temper1 that can never look with pleasure or satisfaction upon any human being4 ,instead of indulging such a temper1 you should look with feelings of good-will upon every one4 ,do not regard others with a critical eye4 ,if they are not incorrigibly bad1 so as to render them dangerous associates1 overlook their faults1 and study to find out some redeeming qualities4 ,consider that they belong to the same great family--that they are as good by nature as yourself--that they have immortal souls1 to be saved or lost4 ,try what excuses or apologies you can find for their faults in the circumstances in which they have been bred4 ,and though you may not see fit to make choice of them as your friends1 yet feel kindly towards them4 ,but especially1 do not forget that you are not faultless yourself4 ,this will exert a softening influence upon your own character2 and you will find yourself much more happy in studying the good qualities of others1 and exercising feelings of charity and good-will toward them1 than you will in criticising and finding fault4 ,the one course will make you amiable and happy1--the other1 unlovely and miserable4 #d4 ,,give ,,free ,,indulgence ,,to ,,every ,,noble ,,and ,,generous ,,sentiment4--,rejoice when you see others prosperous4 ,why should you be unhappy1 that another is more prosperous than yourself1 if you are not injured by it8 ,if you love your neighbor as yourself1 his prosperity will be as grateful to you as your own4 ,rejoice1 also1 in the excellence of others4 ,a truly noble heart loves excellence for excellence's sake4 ,a generous heart is forgetful of self2 and when it sees excellence1 it is drawn toward it in love4 ,it would scorn to put little self between it and a worthy object4 ,this disposition should also be carried out in action4 ,a generous and noble spirit will not always be contending for its own rights4 ,it will yield rather than contend4 ,contention1 among companions and associates1 for each other's rights1 is a source of great unhappiness2 and when it becomes habitual1 as it sometimes does among brothers and sisters at home1 it spoils the disposition4 8,that is mine10 says one4 8,no10 says the other1 8it is not yours1 it is mine40 ,and without waiting quietly to look into the matter1 and investigate the question of right1 they fall into a sharp contention4 ,the matter in question was a mere trifle4 ,it was not worth the sacrifice of good-nature which it cost4 ,how much better both would feel1 to keep good-natured1 and give each other the reasons for their claims1 and if they cannot agree1 for one or the other to yield6 ,or1 rather1 how much more noble1 if the contention be1 which shall be allowed the privilege of yielding6 ,there is more pleasure in one act of generosity than in all that can be enjoyed by selfish possession2 and nothing will render you more lovely in the eyes of others than a noble and generous disposition4 #e4 ,,be ,,gentle4--,gentleness is opposed to all severity and roughness of manners4 ,it diffuses a mild1 bland1 amiable spirit through all the behavior4 ,it has much to do with the cultivation of the affections4 ,where this is wanting1 none of the amiable affections will flourish4 ,a gentle spirit will show itself in a gentle behavior1 and a gentle behavior will react upon the spirit1 and promote the growth of all the mild and amiable affections4 ,you can distinguish the gentle by the motion of the head1 or the sound of their footsteps4 ,their movements are quiet and noiseless4 ,there is a charm in their behavior which operates to secure for them the good opinion of all4 #f4 ,,be ,,kind4--,every kind act that is performed increases the kind feelings of the heart4 ,if you treat your brothers and sisters kindly1 you will feel more kindly toward them2 while1 if you treat them with harshness and severity1 or ill-treat them in any manner1 it will seal up your affections toward them1 and you will be more inclined to treat them with coolness and indifference4 ,if you are habitually kind to every one1 embracing every opportunity in your power to perform some office of kindness to others1 you will find your good-will toward all increasing4 ,you will be universally beloved1 and every one will be kind to you4 ,see that little girl6 ,she has run back to assist her little brother1 who has lost his shoe in the mud4 ,how kindly she speaks to him1 to soothe his feelings and wipe his tears6 ,some sisters that ,i have seen would have been impatient of the delay1 and scolded him in a cross and angry manner for the trouble he made4 ,but with a heart full of sympathy1 she forgets herself1 and is intent only on helping him out of trouble1 and quieting his grief4 ,but she has hardly got under way again1 before she meets a little girl1 who has just fallen down and spilled her berries1 crying over her loss4 ,without once thinking of the trouble it would give her1 she speaks kindly to the little girl1 helps her pick up the lost fruit1 and then assists her to pick enough more to make up her loss4 ,every where she is just so1 always glad of an opportunity to show kindness to every one she meets4 ,and she gets her pay as she goes along4 ,the happiness she feels1 in thus being able to contribute to the comfort of others1 is far beyond any thing she could receive from mere selfish enjoyment4 ,and1 in addition to this1 she gets the good-will of others1 which makes them kind to her in return4 #g4 ,,keep ,,self ,,out ,,of ,,view1 ,,and ,,show ,,an ,,interest ,,in ,,the ,,affairs ,,of ,,others4--,this will not only interest others in you1 but it will tend to stifle selfishness in your own heart1 and to cultivate disinterested feeling4 ,sympathize with others2 enter into their feelings2 and endeavor1 in heart and feeling1 to make their interest your own2 so that there may be a soil for disinterested feeling to grow in4 ,if you see others enjoying themselves1 rejoice with them4 ,make the case your own1 and be glad that they have occasion to rejoice4 8,rejoice with them that do rejoice40 ,if you have truly benevolent feelings1 it will certainly be an occasion of joy to you to see them prosperous and happy1 whoever they are4 ,on the other hand1 sympathize with misery and distress4 8,weep with them that weep40 ,wherever you see misery1 let it affect your heart4 ,and never fail1 if it is in your power1 to offer relief4 ,and1 often1 you can afford the best relief to those of your own age1--your companions1 but especially your inferiors1--by showing that you are affected with their troubles1 that you sympathize with them4 ,cultivate the habit of feeling for others4 ,when you see or read of the sufferings of the poor1 when you read of the condition of the heathen1 who know not the way of salvation1 let your sympathies flow forth toward them4 ,learn to feel for others' woe1 and it will improve your own heart4 ,but1 besides this1 you will find yourself rewarded with the affections of others4 ,thus ,i have given you a few brief hints1 to show how the affections may be cultivated4 ,i must leave you to apply them in practice to every-day life1 and to carry out the principle1 in its application to all the circumstances in which you may be placed2 which principle is1 as much as possible1 to repress and refrain from exercising every bad feeling or affection1 and to cherish and cultivate the good1 bringing them into exercise on every fit occasion1 that they may grow into habits4 ,you will see1 by what ,i have said under the various heads of this chapter1 that the idea of educating the heart is no mere figure of speech1 but a reality1 of great importance to your character and well-being through life4 ,your parents and teachers will1 of course1 pay attention to this matter2 but they cannot succeed in it without your coperation4 ,and with you it must be an every-day work4 ,you must carry it out in all your conduct and feelings1 and seek the grace of ,god to aid you in so difficult a work4 ,without an educated heart1 you will never make a ,,gentleman4 ,the fine feelings and good tempers which ,i have described are indispensable to good breeding4 ,you cannot have polished manners with a rough heart4 ,you may put on the gentleman2 but it will appear out of place4 ,you cannot change the nature of a pig4 ,you may wash him over and over again1 and make him ever so clean2 you may even dress him up in white linen garments--but he will immediately return to his wallowing in the mire4 ,,chapter ,,xv4 ,,education ,,of ,,the ,,mind4 ,the term ,mind is often employed to signify all the faculties of the soul4 ,but ,i shall use it in application to the intellectual faculties1 in distinction from the moral2 as ,i have employed heart to denote the moral1 in distinction from the intellectual4 ,i shall not undertake to give a strictly philosophical distinction of the mental faculties1 but shall comprehend them in the following division1 which is sufficient for my purpose1 to wit3 ,perception1 ,reason or ,understanding1 ,judgment1 ,memory1 and ,imagination4 ,,perception is the faculty that receives ideas into the mind2 as1 when you look at a tree1 immediately the idea of a tree is impressed on the mind through the sense of sight2 or1 when you touch an object1 the idea of that object is impressed on your mind through the sense of touch2 or1 you may receive the idea of a spirit1 from the explanations which you hear or read4 ,the ,,reason or ,,understanding1 is the faculty that considers1 analyzes1 and compares ideas received into the mind1 and forms conclusions concerning them4 ,for example1 suppose you had never seen a watch3 one is presented to you1 and1 as soon as your eye rests upon it1 you form an idea respecting it4 ,perhaps this idea is no more than that it is a very curious object4 ,but1 immediately1 your understanding is employed in considering what it is1 the perceptive faculty still being occupied in further discoveries4 ,from the fact that there is motion1 you conclude there must be some power within it2 for motion is not produced without power4 ,here is consideration and conclusion1 which is a regular operation of reason4 ,but1 to make further discoveries1 you open the watch1 to examine its parts4 ,this is analyzing4 ,you examine all the parts that you can see1 on removing the case4 ,you still see motion--all the wheels moving in regular order2 but the cause of the motion1 the power that moves1 is yet unseen4 ,you perceive a chain wound around a wheel1 and attached to another wheel1 around which it is slowly winding itself2 and this chain appears to regulate the whole movement4 ,you conclude that the power must be in this last-named wheel4 ,here is a conclusion from analyzing1 or examining the parts separately4 ,the ,,judgment is the same as what is popularly styled common sense4 ,it is that faculty which pronounces a decision1 in view of all the information before the mind1 in any given case4 ,for example1 if you wish to determine what school you will attend1 you first obtain all the information you can respecting the different schools that claim your attention4 ,you consider and compare the advantages of each2 and you decide according to your impression of their comparative merits4 ,the faculty which forms this decision is called the judgment4 ,you will readily perceive how very important this faculty is2 for a person may be very learned1 and yet a very great dunce in every thing of a practical nature1 if he fails in judgment or common sense4 ,his learning will be of very little use to him1 because he has not sense to use it to advantage4 ,the ,,memory is the faculty which retains the knowledge that is received into the mind4 ,it is a wonderful faculty4 ,it may be compared to an immense closet1 with a countless number and variety of shelves1 drawers1 and cells1 in which articles are stored away for future use1 only one of which can be examined by the proprietor at the same time1 and yet so arranged that he knows just where to look for the article he wants4 ,it is supposed that no impression1 once made upon the memory1 can be obliterated2 and yet the impression may not be called up for years4 ,it lies there1 till some association of ideas brings it up again2 the faculty not being able to present more than one object distinctly before the mind at the same instant4 ,the ,,imagination is that faculty which forms pictures in the mind of real or unreal scenes4 ,it is the faculty that you exercise in your fanciful plays1 and when your mind runs forward to the time that you expect to be engaged in the busy scenes of life1 and you picture to yourself pleasures and enjoyments in prospect4 ,it is the faculty chiefly exercised by the poet and the writer of fiction4 ,you will1 perhaps1 be tired of this explanation2 but it was necessary1 in order to prepare the way for what ,i have to say on the education of the mind4 ,from the definition of education already given1 you will perceive that my ideas differ very much from those entertained by most young people4 ,ask a young person what he is going to school for1 and he will answer1 8,to learn40 ,and his idea of learning is1 simply1 to acquire knowledge4 ,this1 however1 is but a small part of the object of education4 ,and this idea often leads youth to judge that much of what they are required to study is of no value to them2 because they think they shall have no use for the particular science they are studying1 in practical life4 ,the chief objects of mental education are1 to cultivate and discipline the mind1 and to store it with those great facts and principles which compose the elements of all knowledge4 ,the studies to be pursued1 then1 are to be chosen with reference to these objects1 and not merely for the purpose of making the mind a vast store-house of knowledge4 ,this may be done1 and yet leave it a mere lumber-room4 ,for without the capacity to analyze1 and turn it to account1 all the knowledge in the world is but useless lumber4 ,it is of great importance that young people should understand and appreciate this principle1 because it is intimately connected with their success in acquiring a good education4 ,to this end1 it is necessary that they should coperate with their parents and teachers4 ,this they will never be ready to do1 if they suppose the only object of study is1 to acquire a knowledge of the particular branches they are set to learn2 for they cannot see the use of them4 ,but1 understanding the design of education to be1 to discipline the mind1 and furnish it with the elements of knowledge1 there is no science1 no branch of learning1 but what is useful for these objects2 and the only question1 where education cannot be liberal1 is1 ,what branches will best secure these ends8 ,this understanding of the objects of education is also necessary1 to stimulate the young to prosecute their studies in the most profitable manner4 ,if their object were merely to acquire knowledge1 the more aid they could get from their teachers the better1 because they would thus obtain information the more rapidly4 ,but the object being to discipline the mind1 call forth its energies1 and obtain a thorough knowledge of elementary principles1 what is studied out1 by the unaided efforts of the pupil1 is worth a hundred times more than that which is communicated by an instructor4 ,the very effort of the mind which is requisite to study out a sum in arithmetic1 or a difficult sentence in language1 is worth more than it costs1 for the increased power which it imparts to the faculties so exercised4 ,the principles involved in the case will1 also1 by this effort1 be more deeply impressed upon the mind4 ,such efforts are also exceedingly valuable1 for the confidence which they inspire in one's power of accomplishment4 ,i do not mean to commend self-confidence in a bad sense4 ,for any one to be so confident of his own power as to think he can do things which he cannot1 or to fancy himself qualified for stations which he is not able to fill1 is foolish and vain4 ,but1 to know one's own ability to do1 and have confidence in it1 is indispensable to success in any undertaking4 ,and this confidence is inspired by unaided efforts to overcome difficulties in the process of education4 ,as an instance of this1 ,i recollect1 when a boy1 of encountering a very difficult sum in arithmetic4 ,after spending a considerable time on it1 without success1 ,i sought the aid of the school teacher1 who failed to render me any assistance4 ,i then applied to several other persons1 none of whom could give me the desired information4 ,thus ,i was thrown back upon my own resources4 ,i studied upon it several days without success4 ,after worrying my head with it one evening1 ,i retired to rest1 and dreamed out the whole process4 ,i do not suppose there was any thing supernatural in my dream2 but the sum was the absorbing subject of my thoughts1 and when sleep had closed the senses1 they still ran on the same subject4 ,rising in the morning with a clear head1 and examining the question anew1 it all opened up to my mind with perfect clearness2 all difficulty vanished1 and in a few moments the problem was solved4 ,i can scarcely point to any single event1 which has had more influence upon the whole course of my life than this4 ,it gave me confidence in my ability to succeed in any reasonable undertaking4 ,but for this confidence1 ,i should never have thought of entering upon the most useful undertakings of my life4 ,but for this1 you would never have seen this book1 nor any other of the numerous works which ,i have been enabled to furnish for the benefit of the young4 ,i mention this circumstance here1 for the purpose of encouraging you to independent mental effort4 ,in prosecuting your studies1 endeavor always1 if possible1 to overcome every difficulty without the aid of others4 ,this practice1 besides giving you the confidence of which ,i have spoken1 will give you a much better knowledge of the branches you are pursuing1 and enable you1 as you advance1 to proceed much more rapidly4 ,every difficulty you overcome1 by your own unaided efforts1 will make the next difficulty less4 ,and though at first you will proceed more slowly1 your habit of independent investigation will soon enable you to outstrip all those who are still held in the leading-strings of their teachers4 ,a child will learn to walk much sooner by being let alone1 than to be provided with a go-cart4 ,your studies1 pursued in this manner1 will be much more interesting2 for you are interested in any study just in proportion to the effort of mind it costs you4 ,the perceptive faculty is developed first of all4 ,it begins to be exercised by the child before it can speak1 or even understand language4 ,reason and judgment are more slow in their development1 though they begin to be exercised at a very early period4 ,memory is exercised as soon as ideas are received into the mind4 ,the imagination1 in the natural course of things1 is developed latest of all2 but it is often forced out too early1 like flowers in a hot-bed1 in which case it works great injury to the mind4 ,you will perceive the great importance of bringing out the several faculties of the mind in their due proportion4 ,if the memory is chiefly cultivated1 you will have a great amount of knowledge floating loosely in your mind1 but it will be of very little use4 ,but the proper cultivation of the memory is indispensable1 in order to render your knowledge available4 ,nor will it do for you to adopt the notion that nothing is to be committed to the keeping of the memory which is not fully understood4 ,the memory is a servant1 which must consent to do some things without knowing the reason why4 ,the imagination is the beautiful flower that crowns the top of the plant4 ,but if forced out too early1 or out of due proportion1 it will cover the stalk with false blossoms1 which1 in a little time1 will wither1 and leave it dry and useless4 ,the perception1 reason1 and judgment1 require a long course of vigorous exercise and severe training1 in order to lay a solid foundation of character4 ,i shall leave this subject here1 without suggesting any particular means of cultivating the mind1 leaving you to apply the principles here laid down to your ordinary studies4 ,but in several subsequent chapters1 ,i shall have some reference to what ,i have said here4 ,,chapter ,,xvi4 ,,reading4 ,,reading occupies a very important place in education4 ,it is one of the principal means of treasuring up knowledge4 ,it is1 therefore1 highly necessary that a taste for reading should be early cultivated4 ,but a mere taste for reading1 uncontrolled by intelligent principle1 is a dangerous appetite4 ,it may lead to ruinous consequences4 ,the habit of reading merely for amusement1 is a dangerous habit4 ,reading for amusement furnishes a constant temptation for reading what is injurious4 ,it promotes1 also1 an unprofitable manner of reading4 ,reading in a hasty and cursory manner1 without exercising your own thoughts upon what you read1 induces a bad habit of mind4 ,to profit by reading depends1 not so much on the quantity which is read1 as upon the manner in which it is read4 ,you may read a great deal1 in a gormandizing way1 as the glutton consumes food1 and yet be none the better1 but the worse for what you read4 ,if you would profit by reading1 you must1 in the first place1 be careful what you read4 ,there are a multitude of books1 pamphlets1 periodicals1 and newspapers1 in circulation at the present day1 which cannot be read1 especially by the young1 without great injury1 both to the mind and heart4 ,if any one should propose to you to associate with men and women of the lowest and most abandoned character1 you would shrink from the thought--you would be indignant at the proposition4 ,but it is not the mere bodily presence of such characters that makes their society dangerous4 ,it is the communion which you have with their minds and hearts1 in their conduct and conversation4 ,but a great portion of the popular literature of the day is written by such characters4 ,by reading their writings1 you come into communion with their minds and hearts1 as much as if you were personally in their company4 ,in their writings1 the fancies which fill their corrupt minds1 and the false and dangerous principles which dwell in their depraved hearts1 are transferred to paper1 to corrupt the unwary reader4 ,here are1 likewise1 glowing descriptions of evil conduct1 more fascinating to the youthful heart than the example itself would be1 because the mischief is artfully concealed behind the drapery of fine literary taste1 and beautiful language4 ,there are1 likewise1 many such writings1 the productions of persons of moral lives1 but of corrupt principles1 which are equally dangerous4 ,you would not associate with a person whom you knew to be an unprincipled character1 even though he might be outwardly moral4 ,he would be the more dangerous1 because you would be less on your guard4 ,if it is dangerous to keep company with persons of bad character or bad principles1 it is much more so to keep company with bad books4 ,i have treated at large on the subject of novel-reading1 and other objectionable writings1 in my 8,young ,lady's ,guide20 and to that ,i must refer you1 for my reasons1 more at length1 for condemning such reading4 ,i shall here only suggest1 for the regulation of your reading1 a few simple rules4 #a4 ,,always ,,have ,,some ,,definite ,,object ,,in ,,view1 ,,in ,,your ,,reading4--,while pursuing your education1 you will be so severely taxed with hard study1 that reading merely for diversion or amusement does not furnish the relaxation which you need4 ,it keeps the body idle and the mind still in exercise2 whereas1 the diversion which you need1 is something that will exercise the body and relax the mind4 ,if your object is diversion1 then it is better to seek it in useful labor1 sprightly amusements1 or healthful walks4 ,i can think of nothing more injurious to the young than spending the hours in which they are released from study1 bending over novels1 or the light literature of our trashy periodicals4 ,not only is the health seriously injured by such means1 but the mind loses its vigor4 ,the high stimulus applied to the imagination creates a kind of mental intoxication1 which renders study insipid and irksome4 ,but reading is an important part of education1 and some time should be devoted to it4 ,instead of mere amusement1 however1 there are higher objects to be aimed at4 ,these are1 #ast1 to store the mind with useful knowledge2 #b;d1 to cultivate a correct taste2 #c;d1 to make salutary impressions upon the heart4 ,for the first1 you may read approved works on all the various branches of knowledge2 as history1 biography1 travels1 science1 and religious truth4 ,for the second1 you may read such works of imagination and literary taste as are perfectly free from objection1 on the score of religion and morality1--and these but sparingly at your age2 for the third1 such practical works of piety as you will find in the ,sabbath school library4 ,but1 for all these purposes1 the ,bible is the great ,book of books4 ,it contains history1 biography1 poetry1 travels1 and doctrinal and practical essays4 ,any plan of reading will be essentially defective1 which does not contemplate the daily reading of the ,bible4 ,you ought to calculate on reading it through1 in course1 every year of your life4 #b4 ,,be ,,exceedingly ,,careful ,,what ,,you ,,read4--,do not take up a book1 paper1 or periodical1 that happens to fall in your way1 because you have nothing else to read4 ,by so doing1 you will expose yourself to great evils4 ,but1 though a book be not decidedly objectionable1 it may not be worth reading4 ,there are so many good books1 at the present day1 that it is not worth while to spend time over what is of little value2 and it is better to read the ,bible alone1 than to spend time over a poor book4 ,avoid1 especially1 the fictitious stories that you will find in newspapers and popular magazines4 ,they are generally the worst species of fiction1 and tend strongly to induce a vitiated taste1 and an appetite for novel-reading4 ,if you once become accustomed to such reading1 you will find it produce a kind of moral intoxication1 so that you will feel as uneasy without it1 as the drunkard without his cups1 or the smoker without his pipe4 ,it is much the safer way for young people to be wholly directed by their parents1 7or their teachers1 if away from home17 in the choice of their reading4 ,make it a rule never to read any book1 pamphlet1 or periodical1 till you have first ascertained from your parents1 teachers1 or minister1 that it is safe1 and worth reading4 #c4 ,,think ,,as ,,you ,,read4--,do not drink in the thoughts of others as you drink water2 but examine them1 and see whether they carry conviction to your own mind2 and if they do1 think them over1 till they become incorporated with your own thoughts1 part and parcel of your own mind4 ,lay up facts and principles in your memory4 ,let the beautiful thoughts and striking ideas that you discover be treasured up as so many gems and precious stones1 to enrich and beautify your own mind4 ,and let your heart be impressed and benefited by the practical thoughts you find addressed to it4 #d4 ,,redeem ,,time ,,for ,,reading4--,although it would be improper for you to take the time appropriated for study1 or to rob yourself of needful diversion1 yet you may1 by careful economy1 save some time every day for reading4 ,a great deal of time is thrown away by the indulgence of dilatory habits1 or consumed in a careless1 sauntering vacancy4 ,if you follow system1 and have a time for every thing1 and endeavor to do every thing with despatch1 in its proper season1 you will have time enough for every thing that is necessary to be done4 ,,chapter ,,xvii4 ,,writing4 ,,writing1 or ,,composing1 is one of the best exercises of the mind4 ,it is1 however1 ,i am sorry to say1 an exercise to which young people generally show a great aversion4 ,one reason1 perhaps1 is1 that1 to write well1 requires hard thinking4 ,but ,i am inclined to think the chief reason is1 that the difficulties of writing are magnified4 ,there is1 also1 a want of wisdom in the choice of subjects4 ,themes are frequently selected for first efforts1 which require deep1 abstract thinking2 and the mind not being able to grasp them1 there is a want of thought1 which discourages new beginners4 ,the first attempts should be made upon subjects that are easy and well understood2 such as a well-studied portion of history1 a well-known story1 or a description of some familiar scene2 the object being to clothe it in suitable language1 and to make such reflections upon it as occur to the mind4 ,writing is but thinking on paper2 and if you have any thoughts at all1 you may commit them to writing4 ,another fault in young beginners is1 viewing composition as a task imposed on them by their teachers1 and making it their chief object to cover a certain quantity of paper with writing2 and so the sooner this task is discharged the better4 ,but you must have a higher aim than this1 or you will never be a good writer4 ,such efforts are positively injurious4 ,they promote a careless1 negligent habit of writing4 ,one well-written composition1 which costs days of hard study1 is worth more1 as a discipline of mind1 than a hundred off-hand1 careless productions4 ,indeed1 one good1 successful effort will greatly diminish every succeeding effort1 and make writing easy4 ,you will do well1 then1 first to select your subject some time before you write1 and think it over and study it1 and have your ideas arranged in your mind before you begin4 ,then write with care1 selecting the best expressions1 and clothing your thoughts in the best dress4 ,then carefully and repeatedly read it over1 and correct it1 studying every sentence1 weighing every expression1 and making every possible improvement4 ,then lay it aside awhile1 and afterwards copy it1 with such improvements as occur at the time4 ,then lay it aside1 and after some days revise it again1 and see what further improvements and corrections you can make1 and copy it a second time4 ,if you repeat this process half a dozen times1 it will be all the better4 ,nor will the time you spend upon it be lost4 ,one such composition will conquer all the difficulties in the way of writing2 and every time you repeat such an effort1 you will find your mind expanding1 and your thoughts multiplying1 so that1 very soon1 writing will become an easy and delightful exercise2 and you will1 at length1 be able to make the first draught so nearly perfect that it will not need copying4 ,but you never will make a good writer by off-hand1 careless efforts4 ,letter-writing1 however1 is a very different affair4 ,its beauty consists in its simplicity1 ease1 and freedom from formality4 ,the best rule that can be given for letter-writing is1 to imagine the person present whom you are addressing1 and write just what you would say in conversation4 ,all attempts at effort1 in letter-writing1 are out of place4 ,the detail of particulars1 such as your correspondent would be interested to know1 and the expression of your own feelings1 are the great excellences of this kind of writing4 ,nothing disappoints a person more than to receive a letter full of fine sentiments1 or didactic matter1 such as he might find in books1 while the very information which he desired is left out1 and perhaps an apology at the close for not giving the news1 because the sheet is full4 ,in a letter1 we want information of the welfare of our friends1 together with the warm gush of feeling which fills their hearts4 ,these are the true excellences of epistolary writing4 ,,chapter ,,xviii4 ,,indolence4 ,there is no greater enemy to improvement than an indolent spirit4 ,an aversion to effort paralyzes every noble desire1 and defeats every attempt at advancement4 ,if you are naturally indolent1 you must put on resolution to overcome it1 and strive against it with untiring vigilance4 ,there is not a single point1 in the process of education1 at which this hydra-headed monster will not meet you4 8,the slothful man saith there is a lion without1 ,i shall be slain in the street40 ,there is always a lion in the way1 when slothful spirits are called upon to make any exertion4 8,i can't10 is the sovereign arbiter of their destiny4 ,it prevents their attempting any thing difficult or laborious4 ,if required to write a composition1 they can't think of any thing to write about4 ,the ,latin lesson is difficult2 this word they can't find2 that sentence they can't read4 ,the sums in arithmetic are so hard1 they can't do them4 ,and so this lion in the way defeats every thing4 ,but those who expect ever to be any thing1 must not suffer such a word as can't in their vocabulary4 ,it is the same with labor4 ,the indolent dread all exertion4 ,when requested to do any thing1 they have something else to do first1 which their indolence has left unfinished2 or they have some other reason to give why they should not attempt it4 ,but if nothing else will do1 the sluggard's excuse1 8,i can't10 is always at hand4 ,were it not for the injury to them1 it would be far more agreeable to do1 one's self1 what is desired of them1 than to encounter the painful scowls that clothe the brow1 when they think of making an effort4 ,solomon has described this disposition to the life3--8,the slothful man putteth his hand in his bosom3 it grieveth him to take it out again40 ,but indolence is a source of great misery4 ,there are none so happy as those who are always active4 ,i do not mean that they should give themselves no relaxation from severe effort4 ,but relaxation does not suppose idleness4 ,to sit and fold one's hands1 and do nothing1 serves no purpose4 ,change of employment is the best recreation4 ,and from the idea of employment1 ,i would not exclude active and healthful sports1 provided they are kept within due bounds4 ,but to sit idly staring at vacancy is intolerable4 ,there is no enjoyment in it4 ,it is a stagnation of body and mind4 ,an indolent person is1 to the active and industrious1 what a stagnant pool is to the clear and beautiful lake4 ,employment contributes greatly to enjoyment4 ,it invigorates the body1 sharpens the intellect1 and promotes cheerfulness of spirits2 while indolence makes a torpid body1 a vacant mind1 and a peevish1 discontented spirit4 ,indolence is a great waste of existence4 ,suppose you live to the age of seventy years1 and squander in idleness one hour a day1 you will absolutely throw away about three years of your existence4 ,and if we consider that this is taken from the waking hours of the day1 it should be reckoned six years4 ,are you willing1 by idleness1 to shorten your life six years8 ,then take care of the moments4 ,never fritter away time in doing nothing4 ,whatever you do1 whether study1 work1 or play1 enter into it with spirit and energy2 and never waste your time in sauntering and doing nothing4 8,whatsoever thy hand findeth to do1 do it with thy might2 for there is no work1 nor device1 nor knowledge1 nor wisdom1 in the grave1 whither thou goest40 ,,chapter ,,xix4 ,,on ,,doing ,,one ,,thing ,,at ,a ,,time4 ,what is worth doing at all1 is worth the undivided attention2 but ,john can never be satisfied to do but one thing at a time4 ,by attempting to read or play while dressing1 he consumes double the time that is necessary4 ,he reads at the table1 and1 in consequence1 keeps the table waiting for him to finish his meal4 ,he turns his work into play1 and thus his work is slighted1 and frequently left half done4 ,when he goes to his lesson1 his attention is arrested by something else before he has fairly commenced1 and he stops to look or listen4 ,or perhaps he insensibly falls into a reverie1 and is engaged in building 8castles in the air10 till something happens to call back his spirit from the fairy land4 ,the consequence is1 the lesson is acquired but imperfectly1 while twice the needful time has been spent upon it4 ,at the same time1 nothing else is accomplished4 ,this is what ,i call busy idleness4 ,the true way to accomplish the most1 and to do it in the best manner1 is to confine the attention strictly to the thing in hand1 and to bend all the energies of the mind to that one object1 aiming to do it in the best possible manner1 in the least possible time4 ,by adopting this principle1 and acting upon it1 you will be surprised to find how much more expeditiously you will accomplish what you undertake1 and how much better it will be done4 ,it is indispensable to success in any undertaking4 ,closely connected with this subject1 is the systematic division of time4 ,where there is no system1 one duty will jostle another1 and much time will be wasted in considering what to do next2 all of which would be avoided1 by having a regular routine of duties1 one coming after the other in regular order1 and so having a set time for each4 ,this cannot be carried out perfectly1 because there will every day be something to do that was not anticipated4 ,but it may be so far pursued as to avoid confusion and waste of time4 ,,chapter ,,xx4 ,,on ,,finishing ,,what ,,is ,,begun4 ,beginning things and leaving them unfinished1 exerts a bad influence in the formation of character4 ,if it becomes a habit1 it will make you so fickle that no one will put confidence in you4 ,there is ,james ,scott4 ,if you go into his room1 you will find his table strewed1 and his drawer filled1 with compositions begun and not completed2 scraps of verses1 but no poem finished2 letters commenced1 but not completed4 ,or1 if you go to his play-house1 you will find a ball half wound2 a kite half made2 a boat begun2 one runner of a sled2 one wheel of a wagon2 and other things to match4 ,he wants energy and perseverance to finish what he begins2 and thus he wastes his time in frivolous pursuits4 ,he is very ready to begin2 but before he has completed what is begun1 he thinks of something else that he wishes to do2 or he grows weary of what he is upon4 ,he lives to no purpose1 for he completes nothing2 and he might as well do nothing1 as to complete nothing4 ,if you indulge this practice1 it will grow upon you1 till you will become weak1 irresolute1 fickle1 and good for nothing4 ,to avoid this1 begin nothing that is not worth finishing1 or that you have not good reason to think you will be able to finish4 ,but when you have begun1 resolutely persevere till you have finished4 ,there is a strong temptation1 with the young1 to abandon an undertaking1 because of the difficulties in the way2 but1 if you persevere1 and conquer the difficulties you meet with1 you will gain confidence in yourself1 and the next time1 perseverance in your undertakings will be more easy4 ,you may1 however1 make a mistake1 and begin what you cannot or ought not to perform2 in which case1 perseverance would only increase the evil4 ,,chapter ,,xxi4 ,,choice ,,of ,,society1 ,,and ,,formation ,,of ,,friendships4 ,,character is formed under a great variety of influences4 ,sometimes a very trifling circumstance gives direction to the whole course of one's life4 ,and every incident that occurs1 from day to day1 is exerting a silent1 gradual influence1 in the formation of your character4 ,among these influences1 none are more direct and powerful than that exerted upon us by the companions with whom we associate2 for we insensibly fall into their habits4 ,this is especially true in childhood and youth1 when the character is plastic1 like soft wax1--easily impressed4 ,but we cannot avoid associating1 to some extent1 with those whose influence is injurious4 ,it is necessary1 then1 for us to distinguish society into general and particular4 ,general society is that with which we are compelled to associate4 ,particular society is that which we choose for ourselves4 ,in school1 and in all public places1 you are under the necessity of associating somewhat with all4 ,but those whom you meet1 in such circumstances1 you are not compelled to make intimate friends4 ,you may be courteous and polite to all1 wherever and whenever you meet them1 and yet maintain such a prudent reserve1 and cautious deportment1 as not to be much exposed to contamination1 if they should not prove suitable companions4 ,but every one needs intimate friends2 and it is necessary that these should be well chosen4 ,a bad friend may prove your ruin4 ,you should therefore be slow and cautious in the formation of intimacies and friendships4 ,do not be suddenly taken with any one1 and so enter into a hasty friendship2 for you may be mistaken1 and soon repent of it4 ,there is much force in the old adage1 8,all is not gold that shines40 ,a pleasing exterior often conceals a corrupt heart4 ,before you enter into close intimacies or friendships1 study the characters of the persons whom you propose to choose for companions4 ,watch their behavior and conversation2 and if you discover any bad habits indulged1 or any thing that indicates a want of principle1 let them not become your companions4 ,if you discover that they disregard any of the commandments of ,god1 set them down as unsafe associates4 ,they will not only be sure to lead you astray1 but you can place no dependence upon their fidelity4 ,if they will break one of ,god's commands1 they will another2 and you can put no confidence in them4 ,but even where you discover no such thing1 ask the opinion of your parents respecting them before you choose them as your friends4 ,yet1 while you are in suspense about the matter1 treat them courteously and kindly4 ,but when you have determined to seek their friendship1 do not impose your friendship on them against their will4 ,remember that they have the same right as yourself to the choice of their friends2 and they may see some objection to the formation of a friendship with yourself4 ,be delicate1 therefore1 in your advances1 and give them an opportunity to come half way4 ,a friendship cautiously and slowly formed will be much more likely to last than one that is formed in haste4 ,but let the number of your intimate and confidential friends be small4 ,it is better to have a few select1 choice1 and warm friends1 than to have a great number1 less carefully chosen1 whose attachment is less warm and ardent4 ,but you must not refuse to associate at all with the mass of the society where you belong2 especially1 if you live in the country4 ,you must meet them kindly and courteously1 on all occasions where the society in general in which you move is called together4 ,you must not affect exclusiveness1 nor confine yourself to the company of your particular friends1 at such times4 ,but be careful that you do not expose yourself to evil influences4 ,you ought not1 at present1 to form any intimate friendships with the other sex4 ,such friendships1 at your age1 are dangerous2 and if not productive of any serious present evils1 they will probably be subjects of regret when you come to years of maturity2 for attachments may be formed that your judgment will then disapprove4 ,,chapter ,,xxii4 ,,bad ,,company4--,,mischievousness4 ,there are some boys1 who carelessly go any where that they can find amusement1 without regard to the character of their company4 ,they not only associate indiscriminately in general society1 where they are obliged to go1 as at school2 but they seek the company of bad boys1 or permit themselves to be enticed into it1 because it affords them some momentary enjoyment4 ,a bad boy is one who has a bad disposition1 which has never been subdued2 or one of corrupt principles and bad habits4 ,a boy with a bad disposition will be rough1 quarrelsome1 malicious in his temper1 fond of mischief1 and rude and unmannerly in his general behavior4 ,a boy of corrupt principles is one who will not scruple to break the commands of ,god1 when they stand in the way of his own gratification4 ,he acts from the mere selfish desire of present enjoyment4 ,a boy of bad habits is one who is in the habit of disobeying his parents1 breaking the ,sabbath1 using bad language1 lying1 stealing1 gaming1 drinking1 or doing wanton mischief4 ,any of these habits shows a character thoroughly corrupt4 ,if you go into the company of persons that are sick with the measles1 hooping-cough1 smallpox1 or any contagious disorder1 in a short time you will be taken with the same disease4 ,the very atmosphere of the room where they stay is full of contagion1 and you will draw it in with your breath4 ,so1 likewise1 moral diseases are contagious4 ,there is an atmosphere of moral contagion and death surrounding persons of vicious habits4 8,evil communications corrupt good manners40 ,the sight of evil deeds1 or the hearing of bad language1 hardens the heart1 and diminishes the abhorrence of sin1 which is felt by those to whom vice is not familiar4 ,if you consent to go into bad company1 you will soon find yourself falling into their habits4 ,and if you keep company with bad boys1 you will soon have the reputation of being a bad boy yourself4 ,bad company will lead you into practices that will end in your ruin and disgrace4 ,if you could read the history of those who have been sent to prison or otherwise punished for their crimes1 you would be surprised to find how many of them were led1 insensibly1 into the evil courses which ended in their ruin1 by frequenting bad company4 ,i will give you a single example1 which is only one among thousands that might be set before you1 to show the dangerous influence of evil companions4 ,there was a boy in ,stockport1 7,england17 who went to the ,sabbath school1 and was esteemed a very good boy2 so that he was appointed a teacher of one of the classes4 ,but about this time his father died2 and his mother1 being poor1 was obliged to send him to work in the factory4 ,there he met with bad boys1 who were addicted to evil practices4 ,they gradually led him into their own evil courses1 till1 at length1 he lost all the good impressions he had received in the ,sabbath school4 ,he began to drink1 and drinking led him to committing petty thefts4 ,he became so dissolute that his mother could do nothing with him4 ,he was turned out of his employment1 and obliged to enlist as a soldier4 ,he was sent into ,spain4 ,there he indulged his evil courses1 and supplied himself with the means of gratifying his evil desires1 by plundering the inhabitants4 ,at the close of the war1 he returned home4 ,soon after landing1 he and his evil companions began to break into people's houses and commit robberies4 ,he was detected1 tried1 and condemned to death1 at the age of twenty-one4 ,let me especially caution you against indulging a mischievous disposition1 or joining with others in any schemes of mischief4 ,i know of nothing more likely to get you into serious difficulty1 or to lead you into vicious habits and dissolute practices4 ,a few years ago1 a young man was hung1 in one of our seaport towns1 for piracy4 ,he was one of the bad boys of whom ,i have been speaking4 ,he had a bad disposition1 which had never been subdued4 ,at home1 he was turbulent and unsubmissive2 abroad1 he was a ringleader in mischief2 at school1 he was disobedient to his teacher1 and set himself to work to organize the boys to resist the authority of their teachers4 ,at length1 he went to sea2 and there he carried out the same disposition4 ,he headed the sailors against the authority of the captain4 ,after he had been some time at sea1 he persuaded the rest of the crew to set the captain and mate of the vessel upon the ocean in an open boat4 ,they then took possession of the vessel1 and turned pirates1 robbing every vessel they could find4 ,they were captured2 and this young man was brought home1 tried and condemned1 and hung for his crime4 ,this was the result of a turbulent and ungovernable boy giving up himself to be a ringleader in mischief4 ,boys who go from the country to the city are very apt to be drawn into bad company4 ,cities abound with boys who are old in mischief and crime4 ,they take great delight in leading astray the simple-hearted2 and if boys from the country come within the reach of their influence1 they are almost sure to be ruined4 ,the great number of boys found in the houses of correction and reformation1 and in the city prisons1 are so many beacons to warn the unwary of the danger of shipwreck on the rocks and shoals of evil company4 ,in conclusion1 let me commend to you the wholesome warning and advice of ,solomon3 8,my son1 if sinners entice thee1 consent thou not40 8,enter not into the path of the wicked1 and go not in the way of evil men4 ,avoid it1 pass not by it1 turn from it1 and pass away4 ,for they sleep not1 except they have done mischief2 and their sleep is taken away1 unless they cause some to fall40 ,,chapter ,,xxiii4 ,,on ,,amusements4 ,the human system is formed for alternate labor and rest1 and not for incessant activity2 and to provide for this1 the night follows the day and the ,sabbath the six days of labor4 ,but not only is rest necessary after labor1 but activity in a different direction4 ,when you are carrying a burden of any kind1 you find relief in a change of position4 ,a poor boy was employed in turning a wheel1 by which he was enabled to do something for his mother4 ,a lady1 observing him steadily employed at what appeared to be a very laborious occupation1 inquired whether he did not get tired4 ,he replied that he was often very tired4 8,and what do you do when you are tired80 she further inquired4 8,o10 said he1 8,i take the other hand40 ,he had learned that a change of position gave him rest4 ,neither the mind nor the body is capable of being incessantly exerted1 in one direction1 without injury4 ,like the bent bow1 they will lose their elasticity4 ,the body1 after labor1 and the mind1 after study1 need unbending1 especially in youth1 while the muscles of the body have not acquired maturity or solidity1 and the powers of the mind are yet developing4 ,at this period of life relaxation and amusement are especially necessary2 and those young persons who eschew all play1 and confine themselves to books and labor1 must1 in the natural course of things1 suffer both in health and spirits4 ,healthful play is natural to the young1 throughout the whole animal creation4 ,the lamb1 that emblem of innocence2 is seen sporting in the fields1 blithely bounding over the hills1 as if desirous of expressing a grateful sense of its ,creator's goodness4 ,there is no more harm in the play of children than in the skipping of the lambs4 ,it is necessary to restore the bent bow to its natural elasticity4 ,it is the voice of nature1 which cannot be hushed4 ,but having said so much1 it is necessary to guard against improprieties and excesses in amusements4 ,and yet1 to determine what amusements are to be allowed1 and what condemned1 is no easy matter2 for1 while some kinds of amusement are evil in their own nature1 and necessarily injurious1 others are evil and injurious only on account of their excess1 or of the manner in which they are pursued1 or of the evils that are associated with them4 ,my object is1 not so much to point out what amusements are wrong1 as to give you some rules by which you can judge for yourself4 ,i4 ,never engage in recreation at an unsuitable time4--,to neglect duty for the sake of amusement is not only wrong1 but it will exert a bad influence upon your character4 ,it tends to produce an immoderate love of amusement1 and to break up all orderly and regular habits4 ,let your invariable rule be1 8,,business ,,first1 ,,and ,,then ,,pleasure40 ,never suffer any kind of amusement to break in upon the time appropriated to labor or study4 ,,ii4 ,never do any thing that is disapproved by your parents or guardians4--,they desire your happiness1 and will not deprive you of any enjoyment1 unless they see good reason for it4 ,they may see evil where you would not perceive it4 ,they regard your highest welfare4 ,they look beyond the present1 to see what influence these things will have on your character and happiness hereafter4 ,they are also set over you of the ,lord2 and it is your duty not only to submit to their authority1 but to reverence their counsel4 ,,iii4 ,engage in no amusement which is disapproved by the most devoted and consistent ,christians of your acquaintance4 ,i do not mean the few cross and austere persons1 who always wear an aspect of gloom1 and cannot bear to see the countenances of youth lighted up with the smile of innocent hilarity4 ,but ,i mean those ,christians who wear an aspect of devout cheerfulness1 and maintain a holy and consistent life4 ,their judgment is formed under the influence of devotional feeling1 and will not be likely to be far from what is just and right4 ,,iv4 ,do nothing which you would be afraid ,god should see4--,there is no darkness nor secret place1 where you can hide yourself from his all-searching eye4 ,contemplate the ,lord ,jesus ,christ as walking by your side1 as he truly is in spirit2 and do nothing which you would be unwilling that he should witness1 if he were with you in his bodily presence4 ,v4 ,do nothing the preparation for which unfits you for religious duty4--,if an amusement in which you are preparing to engage so takes up your mind as to interfere with your devotional exercises2 if your thoughts run away from the ,bible that you are reading to anticipated pleasures2 or if those pleasures occupy your thoughts in prayer2 you may be sure you are going too far4 ,,vi4 ,engage in nothing on which you cannot first ask ,god's blessing4 ,do you desire to engage in any thing in which you would not wish to be blessed and prospered8 ,but ,god only can bless and prosper us in any undertaking4 ,if1 therefore1 your feelings would be shocked to think of asking ,god's blessing on any thing in which you would engage1 it must be because your conscience tells you it is wrong4 ,,vii4 ,engage in no amusement which unfits you for devotional exercises4--,if1 on returning from a scene of amusement1 you feel no disposition to pray1 you may be sure something is wrong4 ,you had better not repeat the same again4 ,,viii4 ,engage in nothing which tends to dissipate serious impressions4--,seriousness1 and a sense of eternal things1 are perfectly consistent with serenity and cheerfulness4 ,but thoughtless mirth1 or habitual levity1 will drive away such impressions4 ,whatever you find has this effect is dangerous to your soul4 ,,ix4 ,reject such amusements as are generally associated with evil4--,if the influences which surround any practice are bad1 you may justly conclude that it is unsafe1 without stopping to inquire into the nature of the practice itself4 ,games of chance are associated with gambling and dissipation2 therefore1 ,i conclude that they cannot be safely pursued1 even for amusement4 ,dancing1 also1 is associated with balls1 with late hours1 high and unnatural excitement1 and dissipation2 it is therefore unsafe4 ,you may know the character of any amusement by the company in which it is found4 ,x4 ,engage in nothing which necessarily leads you into temptation4--,you pray every day1 7or ought to17 8lead us not into temptation40 ,but you cannot offer up this prayer sincerely1 and then run needlessly in the way of temptation4 ,and if you throw yourself in the way of it1 you have no reason to expect that ,god will deliver you from it4 ,,xi4 ,if you engage in any recreation1 and return from it with a wounded conscience1 set it down as evil4--,a clear conscience is too valuable to be bartered for a few moments of pleasure2 and if you find your conscience accusing you for having engaged in any amusement1 never repeat the experiment4 ,,xii4 ,practise no amusement which offends your sense of propriety4--,a delicate sense of propriety1 in regard to outward deportment1 is in manners what conscience is in morals1 and taste in language4 ,it is not any thing that we arrive at by a process of reasoning1 but what the mind as it were instinctively perceives4 ,it resembles the sense of taste2 and by it one will notice any deviation from what is proper1 before he has time to consider wherein the impropriety consists4 ,there is a beauty and harmony in what is proper and right1 which instantly strikes the mind with pleasure4 ,there is a fitness of things1 and an adaptation of one thing to another1 in one's deportment1 that strikes the beholder with sensations of pleasure1 like those experienced on beholding the harmonious and beautiful blending of the seven colors of the rainbow4 ,but when propriety is disregarded1 the impression is similar to what we might suppose would be produced1 if the colors of the rainbow crossed each other at irregular angles1 now blending together in one1 and now separating entirely1 producing irregularity and confusion4 ,the sensation produced upon the eye would be unpleasant1 if not insufferable4 ,among the amusements which come under this rule are the vulgar plays that abound in low company1 especially such as require the payment of forfeits1 to be imposed by the victor4 ,in such cases1 you know not to what mortification you may be subjected4 ,frolics1 in general1 come under this head1 where rude and boisterous plays are practised1 and often to a late hour of the night1 when all sense of propriety and even of courtesy is often forgotten4 ,,xiii4 ,engage in nothing of doubtful propriety4--,the apostle ,paul teaches that it is wrong to do any thing the propriety of which we doubt2 because1 by doing that which we are not fully persuaded is right1 we violate our conscience4 ,it is always best to keep on the safe side4 ,if you were walking near the crater of a volcano1 you would not venture on ground where there was any danger of breaking through1 and falling into the burning lake4 ,you would keep on the ground where it was safe and sure4 ,and so we should do1 in regard to all questions of right and wrong4 ,never venture where the ground trembles under your feet4 ,,xiv4 ,do nothing which you will remember with regret on your dying bed4--,it is well always to keep death in view2 it has a good effect upon our minds4 ,the death-bed always brings with it pains and sorrows enough4 ,it is a sad thing to make work for repentance at such an hour4 ,that is an honest hour4 ,then we shall view things in their true light4 ,ask yourself1 then1 before entering into any scene of amusement1 how it will appear to you when you come to look back upon it from your dying bed4 ,,xv4 ,do nothing in the midst of which you would be afraid to meet death4--,when preparing for a scene of pleasure1 how do you know but you may be cut down in the midst of it8 ,sudden death is so common that it is folly to be in any place or condition in which we are not prepared to meet it4 ,many persons have been cut down in the midst of scenes of gayety1 and the same may occur again4 ,a man in ,germany was sitting at the gaming table4 ,his card won a thousand ducats4 ,the dealer handed over the money1 and inquired how he would continue the game4 ,the man made no reply4 ,he was examined1 and found to be a corpse6 ,similar scenes have occurred in the ball-room4 ,in the midst of the merry dance1 persons have been called suddenly out of time into eternity4 ,a gentleman and lady started in a sleigh1 to ride some distance to a ball1 in a cold winter's night4 ,some time before reaching the place1 the lady was observed to be silent4 ,on driving up1 the gentleman called to her1 but no answer was returned4 ,a light was procured1 and he discovered1 to his amazement1 that he had been riding with a corpse6 ,at no moment of life are we exempt from sudden death4 ,he who holds us in his hand has a thousand ways of extinguishing our life in a moment4 ,he can withhold the breath which he gave2 he can stop the vital pulsation instantly2 or he can break one of the thousand parts of the intricate machinery of which our mortal bodies are composed4 ,no skill can provide against it4 ,we ought not1 therefore1 to trust ourselves1 for a single moment1 in any place or condition where we are unwilling to meet death4 ,,xvi4 ,do nothing for which you will be afraid to answer at the bar of ,god4--,there every secret thing will be revealed4 ,what was done in the darkness will be judged in open day4 8,rejoice1 ,o young man1 in thy youth2 and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth2 and walk in the ways of thine heart1 and in the sight of thine eyes3 but know thou that for all these things ,god will bring thee into judgment40 ,a young man1 on leaving home to enter the army1 was supplied with a small ,bible1 which1 though a thoughtless youth1 he always carried in his pocket4 ,on one occasion1 after a battle1 he took out his ,bible1 and observed that there was a bullet hole in the cover4 ,his first impulse was1 to turn over the leaves1 and read the verse on which the ball rested4 ,it was the passage just quoted4 ,it brought before his mind all the scenes of mirth and sinful pleasure in which he had been engaged1 and pressed upon him the fearful truth1 that for all of them he was to be brought into judgment4 ,it was the means of awakening him to a sense of his condition1 and led to a change of heart and life4 ,and why should not the same solemn impression rest upon your mind1 with respect to all scenes of pleasure1 and lead you carefully to avoid whatever you would not willingly meet at that awful tribunal8 ,if you apply these tests to the various amusements that are in vogue among young people1 you may readily discern what you can safely pursue1 and what you must sternly reject4 ,it will lead you1 especially1 to detect the evils of all theatrical performances1 balls1 cards1 and dancing parties1 country frolics1 and all things of a like nature4 ,but it will not deprive you of one innocent enjoyment4 ,a girl1 ten or twelve years old1 made a visit to a companion about her own age4 ,both of them were hopefully pious4 ,on returning home1 she told her mother she was sure ,jane was a ,christian4 8,why do you think so1 my daughter80 inquired the mother4 8,o10 said the daughter1 8she plays like a ,christian40 ,in her diversions she carried out ,christian principles1 and manifested a ,christian temper4 ,this is the true secret of innocent recreation2 and it cuts off all kinds of amusement that cannot be pursued in a ,christian-like manner4 ,,chapter ,,xxiv4 ,,government ,,of ,,the ,,tongue4 ,the apostle ,james says1 the tongue is an unruly member1 and that it is easier to control a horse or a ship1 or even to tame wild beasts and serpents1 than to govern the tongue4 ,and1 though a very little member1 it is capable of doing immense mischief4 ,he even likens it to a fire4 ,a very small spark1 thrown into a heap of dry shavings1 in a wooden house1 in a great city1 will make a terrible fire4 ,it may burn up the whole city4 ,so a very few words1 carelessly spoken by an ungoverned tongue1 may set a whole neighborhood on fire4 ,you cannot1 therefore1 be too careful how you employ your tongue4 ,it is of the highest importance to your character and usefulness1 that you early acquire the habit of controlling this unruly member4 ,for the purpose of aiding you in this1 ,i shall give a few simple rules4 ,,rules ,,for ,,governing ,,the ,,tongue4 ,i4 ,think before you speak4--,many persons open their mouths1 and set their tongues a-going like the clapper of a wind-mill1 as though the object was1 to see how many words could be uttered in a given time1 without any regard to their quality1--whether sense or nonsense1 whether good1 bad1 or indifferent4 ,a tongue1 trained up in this way1 will never be governed1 and must become a source of great mischief4 ,but accustom yourself1 before you speak1 to consider whether what you are going to say is worth speaking1 or whether it can do any mischief4 ,if you cultivate this habit1 your mind will speedily acquire an activity1 that will enable you to make this consideration without waiting so long before answering your companions as to be observed2 and it will impose a salutary restraint upon your loquacity2 for you will find others often taking the lead of conversation instead of yourself1 by seizing upon the pause that is made by your consideration4 ,this will be an advantage to you1 in two ways4 ,it will give you something better to say1 and will diminish the quantity4 ,you will soon perceive that1 though you say less than some of your companions1 your words have more weight4 ,,ii4 ,never allow yourself to talk nonsense4--,the habit of careless1 nonsensical talking1 is greatly averse to the government of the tongue4 ,it accustoms it to speak at random1 without regard to consequences4 ,it often leads to the utterance of what is not strictly true1 and thus insensibly diminishes the regard for truth4 ,it hardens the heart1 and cherishes a trifling1 careless spirit4 ,moreover1 if you indulge this habit1 your conversation will soon become silly and insipid4 ,,iii4 ,do not allow yourself in the habit of ,,joking with your companions4--,this tends to cultivate severe sarcasm1 which is a bad habit of the tongue4 ,and1 if you indulge it1 your strokes will be too keen for your companions to bear2 and you will lose their friendship4 ,,iv4 ,always speak the truth4--,there is no evil habit1 which the tongue can acquire1 more wicked and mischievous than that of speaking falsehood4 ,it is in itself very wicked2 but it is not more wicked than mischievous4 ,if all were liars1 there could be no happiness2 because all confidence would be destroyed1 and no one would trust another4 ,it is very offensive to ,god1 who is a ,god of truth1 and who has declared that all liars shall have their part in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone4 ,it is a great affront and injury to the person that is deceived by it4 ,many young persons think nothing of deceiving their companions1 in sport2 but they will find that the habit of speaking what is not true1 even in sport1 besides being intrinsically wrong1 will so accustom them to the utterance of falsehood1 that they will soon lose that dread of a lie which used to fortify them against it4 ,the habit of exaggeration1 too1 is a great enemy to truth4 ,where this is indulged1 the practice of uttering falsehood1 without thought or consideration1 will steal on insensibly4 ,it is necessary1 therefore1 in detailing circumstances1 to state them accurately1 precisely as they occurred1 in order to cultivate the habit of truth-telling4 ,be very particular on this head4 ,do not allow yourself so little an inaccuracy1 even1 as to say you laid a book on the table1 when you put it on the mantel1 or on the window-seat4 ,in relating a story1 it is not necessary that you should state every minute particular1 but that what you do state should be exactly and circumstantially true4 ,if you acquire this habit of accuracy1 it will not only guard you against the indulgence of falsehood1 but it will raise your character for truth4 ,when people come to learn that they can depend upon the critical accuracy of whatever you say1 it will greatly increase their confidence in you4 ,but if you grow up with the habit of speaking falsehood1 there will be very little hope of your reformation1 as long as you live4 ,the character that has acquired an habitual disregard of truth is most thoroughly vitiated4 ,this one habit1 if indulged and cherished1 and carried with you from childhood to youth1 and from youth upwards1 will prove your ruin4 ,v4 ,remember that all truth is not to be spoken at all times4--,the habit of uttering all that you know1 at random1 without regard to times and circumstances1 is productive of great mischief4 ,if you accustom your tongue to this habit1 it will lead you into great difficulties4 ,there are many of our own thoughts1 and many facts that come to our knowledge1 that prudence would require us to keep in our own bosom1 because the utterance of them would do mischief4 ,,vi4 ,never1 if you can possibly avoid it1 speak any thing to the disadvantage of another4--,the claims of justice or friendship may sometimes require you to speak what you know against others4 ,you may be called to testify against their evil conduct in school1 or before a court of justice2 or you may be called to warn a friend against an evil or designing person4 ,but1 where no such motive exists1 it is far better to leave them to the judgment of others and of ,god1 and say nothing against them yourself4 ,,vii4 ,keep your tongue from tale-bearing4--,there is much said in the ,scriptures against tattling4 8,thou shalt not go up and down as a tale-bearer1 among the children of thy people40 8,a tale-bearer revealeth secrets40 8,where no wood is1 the fire goeth out2 and where there is no tale-bearer1 the strife ceaseth40 ,young people are apt to imbibe a taste for neighborhood gossip1 and to delight in possessing family secrets1 and in repeating personal matters1 neighborhood scandal1 c4 ,but the habit is a bad one4 ,it depraves the taste and vitiates the character1 and often is the means of forming for life the vicious habit of tale-bearing4 ,and tale-bearers1 besides the great mischief they do1 are always despised1 as mean1 mischievous1 and contemptible characters4 ,if you will attentively observe and follow the foregoing rules1 you will acquire such a habit of governing the tongue1 that it will be an easy matter2 and it will give dignity and value to your character1 and make you beloved and esteemed1 as worthy the confidence of all4 ,,chapter ,,xxv4 ,,on ,,the ,,art ,,of ,,agreeable ,,and ,,profitable ,,conversation4 ,there is1 perhaps1 no accomplishment which will add so much to your character and influence1 as the art of conversing agreeably and well4 ,to do this1 however1 requires a cultivated mind1 richly stored with a variety of useful information2 a good taste2 a delicate sense of propriety2 a good use of language2 and an easy and fluent expression4 ,the most of these requisites can be acquired2 and the rest1 if naturally deficient1 can be greatly improved4 ,an easy1 fluent expression is sometimes a natural talent2 but1 when not joined with a good understanding and a cultivated mind1 it degenerates into mere loquacity4 ,but1 in order to be prepared to converse well1 you must not only have your mind well stored1 but its contents1 if ,i may so speak1 well arranged2 so that you can at any time call forth its resources1 upon any subject1 when they are needed4 ,one of the principal difficulties1 in the way of conversing well1 is a hesitancy of speech--a difficulty of expressing one's ideas with ease and grace4 ,this may arise from various causes4 ,it may proceed from affectation--a desire to speak in fine1 showy style4 ,this will invariably defeat its object4 ,you can never appear1 in the eyes of intelligent and well-bred people1 to be what you are not4 ,the more simple and unaffected your style is1 provided it be pure and chaste1 the better you will appear4 ,affectation will only make you ridiculous4 ,but the same difficulty may arise from diffidence1 which leads to embarrassment2 and embarrassment clouds the memory1 and produces confusion of mind and hesitancy of speech4 ,this must be overcome by degrees1 by cultivating self-possession1 and frequenting good society4 ,the same difficulty may1 likewise1 arise from the want of a sufficient command of language to express one's ideas with ease and fluency4 ,this is to be obtained by writing2 by reading the most pure and classic authors1 such as ,addison's ,spectator2 and by observing the conversation of well-educated people4 ,in order to have a good supply of well-chosen words at ready command1 ,mr4 ,whelpley recommends selecting from a dictionary several hundred words1 such as are in most common use1 and required especially in ordinary conversation1 writing them down1 and committing them to memory1 so as to have them as familiar as the letters of the alphabet4 ,a professional gentleman informs me1 that he has overcome this difficulty by reading a well-written story till it becomes trite and uninteresting1 and then frequently reading it aloud1 without any regard to the story1 but only to the language1 in order to accustom the organs of speech to an easy flow of words4 ,i have no doubt that such experiments as these would be successful in giving a freedom and ease of expression1 which is often greatly impeded for want of just the word that is needed at a given time4 ,there is no species of information but may be available to improve and enrich the conversation1 and make it interesting to the various classes of people4 ,as an example of this1 a clergyman recently informed me that a rich man1 who is engaged extensively in the iron business1 but who is very irreligious1 put up with him for the night4 ,the minister1 knowing the character of his guest1 directed his conversation to those subjects in which he supposed him to be chiefly interested4 ,he exhibited specimens of iron ore1 of which he possessed a variety2 explained their different qualities2 spoke of the various modes of manufacturing it2 explained the process of manufacturing steel1 c42 interspersing his conversation with occasional serious reflections on the wisdom and goodness of ,god1 in providing so abundantly the metals most necessary for the common purposes of life1 and thus leading the man's mind 8from ,nature up to ,nature's ,god40 ,the man entered readily into the conversation1 appeared deeply interested1 and afterwards expressed his great admiration of the minister4 ,the man was prejudiced against ministers4 ,this conversation may so far remove his prejudices as to open his ear to the truth4 ,but all this the minister was enabled to do1 by acquainting himself with a branch of knowledge which many would suppose to be of no use to a minister4 ,by conversing freely with all sorts of people upon that which chiefly interests them1 you may not only secure their good-will1 but greatly increase you own stock of knowledge4 ,there is no one so ignorant but he may1 in this way1 add something to your general information2 and you may improve the opportunity it gives to impart useful information1 without seeming to do it4 ,,rules ,,for ,,conversation4 ,i4 ,avoid affectation4--,instead of making you appear to better advantage1 it will only expose you to ridicule4 ,,ii4 ,avoid low expressions4--,there is a dialect peculiar to low people1 which you cannot imitate without appearing as if you were yourself low-bred4 ,,iii4 ,avoid provincialisms4--,there are certain expressions peculiar to particular sections of the country4 ,for example1 in ,new ,england1 many people are in the habit of interlarding their conversation with the phrase1 8,you see40 ,in ,pennsylvania and ,new ,york1 the same use is made of 8,you know40 ,and in the ,west and ,south1 phrases peculiar to those sections of the country are still more common and ludicrous4 ,avoid all these expressions1 and strive after a pure1 chaste1 and simple style4 ,,iv4 ,avoid all ungrammatical expressions4 ,v4 ,avoid unmeaning exclamations1 as1 8,o my60 8,o mercy60 c4 ,,vi4 ,never speak unless you have something to say4--8,a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver40 ,,vii4 ,avoid prolixity4--,make your language concise and perspicuous1 and strive not to prolong your speech beyond what is necessary1 remembering that others wish to speak as well as yourself4 ,be sparing of anecdote2 and only resort to it when you have a good illustration of some subject before the company1 or when you have a piece of information of general interest4 ,to tell a story well1 is a great art4 ,to be tedious and prolix in story-telling1 is insufferable4 ,to avoid this1 do not attempt to relate every minute particular2 but seize upon the grand points4 ,take the following specimen of the relation of the same incident by two different persons3--8,you see1 ,i got up this morning1 and dressed myself1 and came down stairs1 and opened the front door2 and ,o1 if it didn't look beautiful6 ,for1 you see1 the sun shone on the dew1--the dew1 you know1 that hangs in great drops on the grass in the morning4 ,well1 as the sun shone on the dewdrops1 it was all sparkling1 like so many diamonds2 and it looked so inviting1 you see1 ,i thought ,i must have a walk4 ,so1 you see1 ,i went out into the street1 and got over the fence1--the fence1 you know1 the back side of the barn4 ,well1 ,i got over it1 and walked into the grove1 and there ,i heard the blue jay1 and cock-robin1 and ever so many pretty birds1 singing so sweetly4 ,i went along the foot-path to a place where there is a stump1--the great stump1 you know1 ,james1 by the side of the path4 ,well1 there1--,o1 my6--what should ,i see1 but a gray squirrel running up a tree60 ,how much better the following3--8,early this morning1 just as the sun was peeping over the hill1 and the green grass was all over sparkling with diamonds1 as the sun shone upon the dewdrops1 ,i had a delightful walk in the grove1 listening to the sweet music of the birds1 and watching the motions of a beautiful gray squirrel1 running up a tree1 and hopping nimbly from branch to branch40 ,here is the story1 better told1 in less than half the words4 ,never specify any particulars which would readily be understood without4 ,in the relation of this incident1 all the circumstances detailed in the first specimen1 previous to entering the grove1 are superfluous2 for if you were in the grove early in the morning1 you could not get there without getting out of your bed1 dressing yourself1 opening the door1 going into the street1 and getting over the fence4 ,the moment you speak of being in the grove early in the morning1 the mind of the hearer supplies all these preliminaries2 and your specifying them only excites his impatience to get at the point of your story4 ,be careful1 also1 that you never relate the same anecdote the second time to the same company2 neither set up a laugh at your own story4 ,,viii4 ,never interrupt others while they are speaking4 ,quietly wait till they have finished what they have to say1 before you reply4 ,to interrupt others in conversation is very unmannerly4 ,,ix4 ,you will sometimes meet with very talkative persons1 who are not disposed to give you a fair chance4 ,let them talk on4 ,they will be better pleased1 and you will save your words and your feelings4 ,x4 ,avoid1 as much as possible1 speaking of yourself4--,when we meet a person who is always saying ,i1 telling what he has done1 and how he does things1 the impression it gives us of him is unpleasant4 ,we say1 8,he thinks he knows every thing1 and can teach every body4 ,he is great in his own eyes4 ,he thinks more of himself than of every body else40 ,true politeness leads us to keep ourselves out of view1 and show an interest in other people's affairs4 ,,xi4 ,endeavor to make your conversation useful4--,introduce some subject which will be profitable to the company you are in4 ,you feel dissatisfied when you retire from company where nothing useful has been said4 ,but there is no amusement more interesting1 to a sensible person1 than intelligent conversation upon elevated subjects4 ,it leaves a happy impression upon the mind4 ,you can retire from it1 and lay your head upon your pillow with a quiet conscience4 ,,chapter ,,xxvi4 ,,inquisitiveness4 ,the inhabitants of ,new ,england have the reputation of being inquisitive to a fault2 and perhaps with some justice4 ,this disposition grows out of a good trait of character1 carried to an extreme4 ,it comes from a desire after knowledge4 ,but this desire becomes excessive1 when exercised with reference to matters which it does not concern us to know4 ,when it leads us to pry into the concerns of others1 from a mere vain curiosity1 it becomes a vice4 ,there are some people who can never be satisfied1 till they see the inside of every thing4 ,they must know the why and the wherefore of every thing they meet with4 ,i have heard an amusing anecdote of this sort4 ,there was a man who had lost his nose4 ,a ,yankee1 seeing him1 desired to know how so strange a thing had happened4 ,after enduring his importunity for some time1 the man declared he would tell him1 if he would promise to ask him no more questions2 to which the other agreed4 8,well10 said the man1 8it was bit off40 8,ah10 replied the ,yankee1 8,i wish ,i knew who bit it off60 ,this is a fair specimen of the morbid appetite created by excessive inquisitiveness4 ,when inquisitiveness goes no farther than a strong desire to obtain useful information1 and to inquire into the reason of things1 or when it desires information concerning the affairs of others from benevolent sympathy1 then it is a valuable trait of character4 ,but when the object is to gratify an idle curiosity1 it is annoying to others1 and often leads the person who indulges it into serious difficulty4 ,and the more it is indulged1 the more it craves4 ,if you gratify this disposition till it grows into a habit1 you will find it very difficult to control4 ,you will never be able to let any thing alone4 ,you will want to look into every drawer in the house2 to open every bundle that you see2 and never be satisfied till you have seen the inside of every thing4 ,this will lead you into temptation4 ,it can hardly be supposed that one who is so anxious to see every thing should have no desire to possess the things that are seen4 ,thus1 what began in curiosity may end in coveting and thieving4 ,but if it does not lead you so far astray as this1 it will bring you into serious difficulty with your parents1 or your friends whose guest you are2 for they will not be satisfied to have their drawers tumbled1 packages opened1 and every nice article fingered4 ,this disposition1 too1 will lead you to inquire into the secrets of your friends2 and this will furnish a temptation to tattling4 ,what you have been at such pains to obtain1 you will find it difficult to keep to yourself4 ,you will want to share the rare enjoyment with others4 ,and when the story comes round to your friend or companion1 whose confidence you have betrayed1 you will1 to your great chagrin and mortification1 be discarded4 ,a delicate sense of propriety will lead you to avoid prying too closely into the affairs of others4 ,you will never do it from mere curiosity4 ,but if any of your friends so far make you a confidant as to lead you to suppose that they need your sympathy or aid1 you may1 in a delicate manner1 inquire farther1 in order to ascertain what aid you can render4 ,you may1 also1 make some general inquiries of strangers1 in order to show an interest in their affairs4 ,but beyond this1 you cannot safely indulge this disposition4 ,,chapter ,,xxvii4 ,,on ,,the ,,importance ,,of ,,being ,,able ,,to ,,say ,,no4 ,it often requires great courage to say ,,no4 ,but by being able promptly1 on occasion1 to utter this little monosyllable1 you may save yourself a deal of trouble4 ,if mother ,eve had known how to say no1 she might have saved herself and her posterity from ruin4 ,and many of her children1 who have lost their character and their all1 might have been saved1 if they had only had courage promptly to say ,,no4 ,your safety and happiness depend upon it4 ,you are importuned by some of your companions to engage in some amusement1 or to go on some excursion1 which you know to be wrong4 ,you resolutely and promptly say ,,no1 at the outset1 and there is the end of it4 ,but if you hesitate1 you will be urged and importuned1 until you will probably yield2 and having thus given up your own judgment1 and violated your conscience1 you will lose your power of resistance1 and yield to every enticement4 ,joseph has cultivated decision of character4 ,he never hesitates a moment when any thing wrong is proposed4 ,he rejects it instantly4 ,the consequence is1 his companions never think of going to him1 when they have any mischievous scheme on foot4 ,his prompt and decisive ,,no they do not wish to encounter4 ,his parents can trust him any where1 because they have no fears of his being led astray4 ,and this relieves them of a load of anxiety4 ,reuben is the opposite of this4 ,he wishes to please every body1 and therefore has not courage to say no to any4 ,he seems wholly unable to resist temptation4 ,he is1 therefore1 always getting into difficulty1--always doing something that he ought not1 or going to some improper place1 or engaging in some improper diversions1 through the enticement of his companions4 ,his parents scarcely dare trust him out of their sight1 they are so fearful that he will be led astray4 ,he is thus a source of great anxiety to them1 and all because he cannot say ,,no4 ,now1 let me beg of you to learn to say ,,no4 ,if you find any difficulty in uttering it1--if your tongue won't do its office1 or if you find a 8frog in your throat10 which obstructs your utterance1--go by yourself1 and practise saying no1 ,,no1 ,,no6 till you can articulate clearly1 distinctly1 and without hesitation2 and have it always ready on your tongue's end1 to utter with emphasis to every girl or boy1 man or woman1 or evil spirit1 that presumes to propose to you to do any thing that is wrong4 ,only be careful to say it respectfully and courteously1 with the usual prefixes and suffixes1 which properly belong to the persons to whom you are speaking4 ,,chapter ,,xxviii4 ,,on ,,being ,,useful4 ,can you find any thing1 in all the works of ,nature1 which is not made for some use8 ,the cow gives milk1 the ox labors in the field1 the sheep furnishes wool for clothing1 and all of them provide us with meat4 ,the horse and the dog are the servants of man4 ,every animal1--every little insect1--has its place1 and its work to perform1 carrying out the great design of its ,creator4 ,and so it is with the inanimate creation4 ,the earth yields its products for the use of man and beast2 and the sun1 and the air1 and the clouds1 7each in turn17 help forward the work4 ,and to how many thousand uses do we put the noble1 stately tree6 ,it furnishes houses for us to live in1 furniture for our convenience1 fuel to make us warm1 ships to sail in1 and to bring us the productions of other lands4 ,it yields us fruit for food1 and to gratify our taste4 ,and so you may go through all the variety of animal and vegetable life1 and you will find every thing designed for some use4 ,and1 though there may be some things of the use of which you are ignorant1 yet you will find every thing made with such evidence of design1 that you cannot help thinking it must have been intended for some use4 ,now1 if every thing in creation is designed for some use1 surely you ought not to think of being useless1 or of living for nothing4 ,god made you to be useful2 and1 to answer the end of your being1 you must begin early to learn to be useful4 8,but how can ,i be useful80 you may ask4 8,i wish to be useful4 ,i am anxious to be qualified to fill some useful station in life1--to be a missionary or a teacher1 or in some other way to do good4 ,but ,i do not see what good ,i can do now40 ,though you may not say this in so many words1 yet ,i have no doubt that such thoughts may often have passed through your mind4 ,many people long to be useful1 as they suppose1 but think they must be in some other situation1 to afford them the opportunity4 ,this is a great mistake4 ,god1 who made all creatures1 has put every one in the right place4 ,in the place where ,god has put you1 there you may find some useful thing to do4 ,do you ask me what useful thing you can do8 ,you may find a hundred opportunities for doing good1 and being useful1 every day1 if you watch for them4 ,you can be useful in assisting your mother2 you can be useful in helping your brothers and sisters2 you can be useful in school1 by supporting the authority of your teacher1 and by being kind and helpful to your playmates4 ,if you make it the great aim of your life to be useful1 you will never lack opportunities4 ,i have seen young persons1 who would take great delight in mere play or amusement2 but the moment they were directed to do any thing useful1 they would be displeased4 ,now1 ,i do not object to amusement1 in its proper place2 for a suitable degree of amusement is useful to the health4 ,but pleasure alone is a small object to live for2 and if you attempt to live only to be amused1 you will soon run the whole round of pleasure1 and become tired of it all4 ,but if you make it your great object to be useful1 and seek your chief pleasure therein1 you will engage in occasional amusement with a double relish4 ,no one can be happy who is not useful4 ,pleasure soon satiates4 ,one amusement soon grows gray1 and another is sought2 till1 at length1 they all become tasteless and insipid4 ,let it be your object1 then1 every day of your life1 to be useful to yourself and others4 ,in the morning1 ask yourself1 8,what useful things can ,i do to-day8 ,what can ,i do that will be a lasting benefit to myself8 ,how can ,i make myself useful in the family8 ,what can ,i do for my father or mother8 ,what for my brothers or sisters8 ,and what disinterested act can ,i perform for the benefit of those who have no claim upon me80 ,thus you will cultivate useful habits and benevolent feelings4 ,and you will find a rich return into your own bosom4 ,by making yourself useful to every body1 you will find every one making a return of your kindness4 ,you will secure their friendship and good will1 as well as their bounty4 ,you will find it1 then1 both for your interest and happiness to ,,be ,,useful4 ,,chapter ,,xxix4 ,,on ,,being ,,contented4 ,the true secret of happiness is1 to be contented4 8,godliness10 says the apostle ,paul1 8with contentment1 is great gain40 ,these two are great gain1 because1 without them1 all the gain in the world will not make us happy4 ,young people are apt to think1 if they had this thing or that1 or if they were in such and such circumstances1 different from their own1 they would be happy4 ,sometimes they think1 if their parents were only rich1 they should enjoy themselves4 ,but rich people are often more anxious to increase their riches than poor people are to be rich2 and the more their artificial wants are gratified1 the more they are increased4 8,the eye is not satisfied with seeing1 nor the ear filled with hearing40 ,solomon was a great king1 so rich that he was able to get whatever his heart desired4 ,he built great palaces for himself2 he filled them with servants2 he treasured up gold and silver2 he bought gardens1 and vineyards1 and fields2 he bought herds of cattle1 with horses and carriages2 he kept men and women singers1 and players on all sorts of instruments2 whatever his eyes desired he kept not from them2 he withheld not his heart from any joy2 but with it all he was not satisfied4 ,he called it all 8vanity and vexation of spirit40 ,so you may set your heart at rest1 that riches will not make you happy4 ,nor would you be any more happy1 if you could exchange places with some other persons1 who seem to you to have many more means of enjoyment than yourself4 ,with these things that dazzle your eyes1 they have also their trials2 and if you take their place1 you must take the bitter with the sweet4 ,but young people sometimes think1 if they were only men and women1 and could manage for themselves1 and have none to control them1 then they would certainly be happy1 for they could do as they please4 ,but in this they are greatly mistaken4 ,there will then be a great increase of care and labor2 and they will find it more difficult to do as they please than they do now4 ,if they have none to control them1 they will have none to provide for them4 ,true1 they may then manage for themselves2 but they will also have to support themselves4 ,those who have lived the longest1 generally consider youth the happiest period of life1 because it is comparatively free from trouble and care1 and there is more time for pleasure and amusement4 ,but there is one lesson1 which1 if you will learn it in youth1 will make you happy all your days4 ,it is the lesson which ,paul had learned4 ,you know that he suffered great hardships in travelling on foot1 in various countries1 to preach the gospel4 ,he was often persecuted1 reviled1 defamed1 beaten1 and imprisoned4 ,yet he says1 8,i have learned in whatsoever state ,i am1 therewith to be content40 ,there are several things which should teach us this lesson4 ,in the first place1 ,god1 in his holy providence1 has placed us in the condition where we are4 ,he knows what is best for us1 and what will best serve the end for which he made us2 and of all other situations1 he has chosen for us the one that we now occupy4 ,who could choose so well as he8 ,and then1 what can we gain by fretting about it1 and worrying ourselves for what we cannot help8 ,we only make ourselves unhappy4 ,moreover1 it is very ungrateful and wicked to complain of our lot1 since ,god has given us more and better than we deserve4 ,it is better to look about us1 and see how many things we have to be thankful for2 to look upon what we have1 rather than what we have not4 ,this does not1 indeed1 forbid our seeking to improve our condition1 provided we do it with submission to the will of ,god4 ,we ought to use all fair and lawful means to this end2 but not in such a spirit of discontent and repining1 as will make us miserable if we are disappointed4 ,if you desire to be happy1 then1 ,,be ,,contented4 ,,chapter ,,xxx4 ,,union ,,of ,,serious ,,piety ,,with ,,habitual ,,cheerfulness4 ,it is a mistake often made by young people1 to associate religion with a downcast look1 a sad countenance1 and an aching heart4 ,perhaps the mistakes of some good people1 in putting on a grave and severe aspect1 approaching even to moroseness1 may have given some occasion for this sentiment4 ,i do not know1 indeed1 how prevalent the sentiment is among the young4 ,i can hardly think it is common with those who are religiously educated4 ,as for myself1 ,i well remember that1 in my childhood1 ,i thought true ,christians must be the happiest people in the world4 ,there is no doubt1 however1 that many pleasure-loving young people do look upon religion with that peculiar kind of dread which they feel of the presence of a grave1 severe maiden aunt1 which would spoil all their pleasure4 ,and1 ,i do not deny1 that there are certain kinds of pleasure which religion spoils2 but then it first removes the taste and desire for them1 after which the spoliation is nothing to be lamented4 ,it is true1 also1 that there are some things in religion which are painful4 ,repentance for sin is a painful exercise2 self-denial is painful2 the resistance of temptation is sometimes trying2 and the subduing of evil dispositions is a difficult work4 ,but1 to endure whatever of suffering there is in these things1 is a saving in the end4 ,it is less painful than the tortures of a guilty conscience1 the gnawings of remorse1 and the fear of hell4 ,it is easier to be endured than the consequences of neglecting religion4 ,if you get a sliver in your finger1 it is easier to bear the pain of having it removed1 than it is to carry it about with you4 ,if you have a decayed tooth1 it is easier to have it extracted than to bear the toothache4 ,so it is easier to repent of sin than to bear remorse and fear4 ,and the labor of resisting temptation1 and of restraining and subduing evil dispositions1 is not so great an interference with one's happiness as it is to carry about a guilty conscience4 ,there is1 however1 nothing in true piety inconsistent with habitual cheerfulness4 ,there is a difference between cheerfulness and levity4 ,cheerfulness is serene and peaceful4 ,levity is light and trifling4 ,the former promotes evenness of temper and equanimity of enjoyment2 the latter drowns sorrow and pain for a short time1 only to have it return again with redoubled power4 ,the ,christian hope1 and the promises and consolations of ,god's word1 furnish the only true ground of cheerfulness4 ,who should be cheerful and happy1 if not one who is delivered from the terrors of hell and the fear of death1--who is raised to the dignity of a child of ,god1--who has the hope of eternal life--the prospect of dwelling forever in the presence of ,god1 in the society of the blessed1 and in the enjoyment of perfect felicity8 ,but no one would associate these things with that peculiar kind of mirth1 which is the delight of the pleasure-loving world4 ,your sense of propriety recoils from the idea of associating things of such high import with rudeness1 frolicking1 and mirth4 ,yet there is an innocent gayety of spirits1 arising from natural vivacity1 especially in the period of childhood and youth1 the indulgence of which1 within proper bounds1 religion does not forbid4 ,there is a happy medium between a settled1 severe gravity and gloom1 and frivolity1 levity1 and mirth1 which young ,christians should strive to cultivate4 ,if you give unbounded license to a mirthful spirit1 and indulge freely in all manner of levity1 frivolity1 and foolish jesting1 you cannot maintain that devout state of heart which is essential to true piety4 ,on the other hand1 if you studiously repress the natural vivacity of youthful feeling1 and cultivate a romantic kind of melancholy1 or a severe gravity1 you will destroy the elasticity of your spirits1 injure your health1 and very likely become peevish and irritable1 and of a sour1 morose temper2 and this will be quite as injurious to true religious feeling as the other4 ,the true medium is1 to unite serious piety with habitual cheerfulness4 ,always bring ,christian motives to bear upon your feelings4 ,the gospel of ,jesus ,christ has a remedy for every thing in life that is calculated to make us gloomy and sad4 ,it offers the pardon of sin to the penitent and believing1 the aid of grace to those that struggle against an evil disposition1 and succor and help against temptation4 ,it promises to relieve the believer from fear1 and afford consolation in affliction4 ,there is no reason why a true ,christian should not be cheerful4 ,there are1 indeed1 many things1 which he sees1 within and without1 that must give him pain4 ,but there is that in his ,christian hope1 and in the considerations brought to his mind from the ,word of ,god1 which is able to bear him high above them all4 ,let me1 then1 earnestly recommend you to cultivate a serious but cheerful piety4 ,let your religion be neither of that spurious kind which expends itself in sighs1 and tears1 and gloomy feelings1 nor that which makes you insensible to all feeling4 ,but while you are alive to your own sins and imperfections1 exercising godly sorrow for them1 and while you feel a deep and earnest sympathy for those who have no interest in ,christ1 let your faith in the atoning blood of ,jesus1 and your confidence in ,god1 avail to keep you from sinking into melancholy and gloom1 and make you cheerful and happy1 while you rest in ,god4 ,and now1 gentle reader1 after this long conversation1 ,i must take leave of you1 commending you to ,god1 with the prayer that my book may be useful to you1 in the formation of a well-balanced ,christian character2 and that1 after you and ,i shall have done the errand for which the ,lord sent us into the world1 we may meet in heaven4 ,,god ,,bless ,,you6 99 99 99 99 99 ,transcriber's note3 --,punctuation and spelling inaccuracies were silently corrected4 --,archaic and variable spelling has been preserved4 --,variations in hyphenation and compound words have been preserved4 --,the ,chapter ,,xxii title in the ,table of ,contents was adjusted to reflect the title within the contents4