,miss ,larcom's ,books4 ,,poetical ,,works4 ,household ,edition4 ,with ,portrait1 #abmo1 #a4ej2 full gilt1 #b4jj4 ,,poems4 #afmo1 #a4be4 ,,an ,,idyl ,,of ,,work4 #afmo1 #a4be4 ,,wild ,,roses ,,of ,,cape ,,ann1 ,,and ,,other ,,poems4 #afmo1 gilt top1 #a4be4 ,,childhood ,,songs4 ,illustrated1 #abmo1 #a4jj4 ,,easter ,,gleams4 ,poems4 #afmo1 parchment paper1 #ge cents4 ,,as ,,it ,,is ,,in ,,heaven4 #afmo1 #a4jj4 ,,at ,,the ,,beautiful ,,gate1 ,,and ,,other ,,songs ,,of ,,faith4 #afmo1 #a4jj4 ,,the ,,unseen ,,friend4 #afmo1 #a4jj4 ,a ,,new ,,england ,,girlhood1 outlined from ,memory4 ,in ,riverside ,library for ,young ,people4 #afmo1 #ge cents4 ,holiday ,edition4 #afmo1 #a4be4 ,,breathings ,,of ,,the ,,better ,,life4 ,edited by ,,lucy ,,larcom4 #ahmo1 #a4be4 ,,roadside ,,poems ,,for ,,summer ,,travellers4 ,selected by ,,lucy ,,larcom4 #ahmo1 #a4jj4 ,,hillside ,,and ,,seaside ,,in ,,poetry4 ,selected by ,,lucy ,,larcom4 #ahmo1 #a4jj4 ,,beckonings ,,for ,,every ,,day4 ,a ,collection of ,quotations for each day in the year4 ,compiled by ,,lucy ,,larcom4 #afmo1 #a4jj4 ,,houghton1 ,,mifflin ,,and ,,company1 ,,boston ,,and ,,new ,,york4 ,illustration ,,lucy ,,larcom ,,life1 ,,letters1 ,,and ,,diary ,,by ,,daniel ,,dulany ,,addison ,illustration ,,boston ,,and ,,new ,,york ,,houghton1 ,,mifflin ,,and ,,company ,the ,riverside ,press1 ,cambridge #ahie ,copyright1 #ahid1 ,,by ,,daniel ,,dulany ,,addison4 ,all rights reserved4 ,the ,riverside ,press1 ,cambridge1 ,mass41 ,u4 ,s4 ,a4 ,electrotyped and ,printed by ,h4 ,o4 ,houghton ,co4 ,,preface ,it was the purpose of ,miss ,larcom to write a sequel to her hook1 8,a ,new ,england ,girlhood10 in which she intended to give some account of her life in the log-cabins on the ,western prairies as a pioneer and schoolmistress1 and her experiences as a teacher in ,wheaton ,seminary1 and as an editor and literary woman4 ,she also wished to trace the growth of her religious ideas by showing the process through which she was led to undergo changes that finally made her accept a less rigorous theology than the one in which she had been reared4 ,her fascinating style1 with its wealth of reminiscence and interesting detail1 would have characterized her later book1 as it did the former1 but she died before beginning it1 and ,american literature has lost a valuable record of a woman's life4 ,a keen observer1 her contact with famous men and women gave her an opportunity for a large knowledge of persons and events2 deeply interested in the questions of the day1 her comments would have been just and luminous2 and her sensitiveness to impressions was such that the varied influences upon her life would have been most attractively presented4 ,she was deeply spiritual1 and the account of her religious experiences would have supplemented the moral power of her published works2 but she was not permitted to give us1 in autobiographical form1 the rich fruits of a well-spent life4 ,the only preparation she had made for this book was a few notes suggesting a title and headings of the chapters4 ,she proposed naming it1 8,hitherward3 ,a ,life-,path ,retraced40 ,the suggestions for chapters indicate the subjects that she intended to treat1--8,the ,charm of ,elsewhere20 8,over the ,prairies20 8,log-,cabin ,experiences20 8,a ,pioneer ,schoolmistress20 8,teacher and ,student20 8,back to the ,bay ,state20 8,undercurrents20 8,beneath ,norton ,elms20 8,during the ,war20 8,with #8,our ,young ,folks2'0 8,successful ,failures20 and 8,going ,on40 ,after her death1 her papers came into my possession4 ,an examination showed that there was material enough in her letters and diary to preserve still some record of her later life1 and possibly to continue the narrative which she had given in 8,a ,new ,england ,girlhood40 ,it will be noticed that some years are treated more at length than others1 the reason for this being that more data have been accessible for those periods2 and also1 as is the case with most lives1 there were epochs of intenser emotion1 more lasting experiences1 and deeper friendships1 the account of which is of greater value to the general reader than the more commonplace incidents of her career4 ,her life was one of thought1 not of action4 ,in their outward movement1 her days flowed on very smoothly4 ,she had no remarkable adventures2 but she had a constant succession of mental vicissitudes1 which are often more dramatic and real than the outward events of even a varied life4 ,in her loves and sympathies1 in her philosophy of living and her creed1 in her literary labors1--her poetry and her prose1--in her studies of man1 nature1 and ,god1 she revealed a mind continually venturing into the known and unknown1 and bringing back trophies of struggles and victories1 of doubts and beliefs1 of despair and faith4 ,my aim has been to present the character of a ,new ,england woman1 as it was thus moulded by the intellectual and moral forces of ,american living for the last fifty years2 and to show how she absorbed the best from all sides1 and responded to the highest influences4 ,there are passages in her diaries that remind one of ,pascal's 8,thoughts10 for their frankness and spiritual depth2 there are others that recall ,amiel's ,journal1 with its record of emotions and longings after light4 ,if such a singularly transparent and pure life had preserved for us its inner history1 it would be more valuable than any record of mere outward events4 ,some such inner history ,i have attempted to give1 by making selections from her journal and letters2 and if1 at times1 ,i have allowed her inmost thoughts and motives to be disclosed1 it has been with the feeling that such frankness would be helpful in portraying a soul stirred with love for the beautiful1 a heart loving humanity1 a spirit with the passion for ,god in it4 ,she once said1 8,i am willing to make any part of my life public1 if it will help others40 ,one soon sees that the religious element predominated in her character4 ,from her earliest years1 these questions of the soul's relation to man1 to nature1 and to ,god were uppermost in her mind4 ,she was impelled to master them2 and as ,jacob wrestled with the angel1 she could not let ,life go until she had received from it a blessing4 ,she found her rest and comfort in a ,christianity which had its centre in no theory or dogma1 no ecclesiastical system1 but in the person of ,jesus4 ,for ,him she had the most loyal love4 ,he satisfied her soul2 ,he interpreted life for her2 ,he gave her the inspiration for her work2 and with this belief1 she went forth to live and to die1 having the hope and confidence of a larger life beyond4 ,she was a prophetess to her generation1 singing the songs of a newer faith1 and breathing forth in hymns and lyrics1 and even homely ballads1 her belief in ,god and immortality4 ,her two books1 8,as ,it ,is in ,heaven0 and 8,the ,unseen ,friend10 written in the last years of her life1 when she had felt the presence of an invisible ,power1 and had caught glimpses of the spiritual world through the intimations of happiness given her in this life1 are messages to human souls1 that come with authority1 and mark her as a strong spiritual force in our ,american ,christianity4 ,she will be known1 ,i feel1 not only as a woman with the most delicate perceptions of the sweetness of truth1 and an appreciation of its poetry1 but as one who could grasp the eternal facts out of the infinite1 and clothe them with such beauty of imagery1 and softness of music1 that other lives could receive from her a blessing4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i must make public acknowledgment to those who have willingly rendered me assistance1--to ,miss ,lucy ,larcom ,spaulding 7now ,mrs4 ,clark71 who gave me the privilege of using the rich material her aunt had left in her guardianship2 to ,mrs4 ,james ,guild1 who furnished me with facts of great interest2 to ,mrs4 ,i4 ,w4 ,baker1 the sister of ,miss ,larcom1 whose advice has proved most valuable2 to ,miss ,susan ,hayes ,ward1 who put at my disposal the material used in the ,memorial ,number of 8,the ,rushlight10 the magazine of ,wheaton ,seminary2 to ,mr4 ,s4 ,t4 ,pickard1 for permitting me to use some of ,mr4 ,whittier's letters2 to the ,rev4 ,arthur ,brooks1 ,d4 ,d41 who consented to my using the letters of his brother1 ,bishop ,brooks2 to ,prof4 ,george ,e4 ,woodberry1 whose sympathy and suggestions have been of the greatest service to me2 and to all who have loaned the letters that so clearly illustrate the richness of ,miss ,larcom's personality4 ,,daniel ,,dulany ,,addison4 ,,beverly1 ,,mass41 ,june #ai1 #ahid4 ,,contents4 ,,chapter ,,page ,i4 ,,early ,,days4 #ahbd-ahdf #a ,,ii4 ,,in ,,illinois4 #ahdf-aheb #ba ,,iii4 ,,life ,,at ,,norton4 #ahec-ahei #dd ,,iv4 ,,reflections ,,of ,a ,,teacher #fi ,v4 ,,the ,,beginning ,,of ,,the ,,war #hc ,,vi4 ,,intellectual ,,experiences #aah ,,vii4 ,,letters ,,and ,,work4 #ahfa-ahfh #adh ,,viii4 ,,writings ,,and ,,letters4 #ahfh-ahhj #agb ,,ix4 ,,religious ,,changes4 #ahha-ahhd #bjj ,x4 ,,undercurrents4 #ahhd-ahhi #bbb ,,xi4 ,,membership ,,in ,,the ,,episcopal ,,church #bdb ,,xii4 ,,last ,,years #beg ,,index #bia ,,lucy ,,larcom4 ,,chapter ,i4 ,,early ,,days4 #ahbd-ahdf4 ,lucy ,larcom was born on ,march #e1 #ahbd1 in the old seaside town of ,beverly1 ,massachusetts4 ,she was next to the youngest in a family of seven sisters and two brothers4 ,her father1 ,benjamin ,larcom1 a retired shipmaster who became a shopkeeper selling ,west ,india goods1 was a man of strong natural ability1 and her mother1 ,lois ,barrett1 8with bright blue eyes and soft dark curling hair1 which she kept pinned up under her white lace cap10 was known for her sweetness4 ,the ,larcoms had lived for generations on the borders of the sea4 ,mordecai ,larcom1 born #afbi1 appeared in ,ipswich in #afee1 and soon after moved to ,beverly1 where he obtained a grant of land4 ,his son1 ,cornelius ,larcom1 born #afeh1 purchased a place on the coast1 in what is known as ,beverly ,farms4 ,david ,larcom was born #agja1 and his son1 ,jonathan1 born #agdb1 was the grandfather of ,miss ,larcom4 ,the qualities of energy and self-reliance that come from the cultivation of ,essex ,county soil and the winning of a livelihood as trader and sailor1 were apparent in the branch of the family that lived in ,wallace ,lane1--one of the by-streets of the quaint village1 that led in one direction through the fields to ,bass ,river1 8running with its tidal water from inland hills10 and in the other across the main street to the harbor1 with its fishing schooners and glimpses of the sea4 ,her sensitive nature quickly responded to the free surroundings of her childhood4 ,the open fields with the wild flowers and granite ledges covered with vines1 and the sandy beaches of the harbor1 and the village streets with their quiet picturesque life1 formed her playground4 ,the little daily events happening around her were interesting3 the stage-coach rattling down ,cabot ,street2 the arrival of a ship returning from a distant voyage2 the stately equipage driven from the doorway of ,colonel ,thorndike's house2 the ,sunday services in the meeting-house2 the companionship of other children1 and the charm of her simple home life4 ,these experiences are graphically recorded in 8,a ,new ,england ,girlhood10 where she testifies to her love for her native town4 8,there is something in the place where we were born that holds us always by the heart-strings4 ,a town that has a great deal of country in it1 one that is rich in beautiful scenery and ancestral associations1 is almost like a living being1 with a body and a soul4 ,we speak of such a town as of a mother1 and think of ourselves as her sons and daughters4 ,so we felt about our dear native town of ,beverly40 ,in her poems there are numerous references to the town3-- 8,steady we'll scud by the ,cape ,ann shore1 ,then back to the ,beverly ,bells once more4 ,the ,beverly ,bells ,ring to the tide as it ebbs and swells40 ,in another place she says3-- 8,the gleam of ,thacher's ,isle1 twin-beaconed1 winking back ,to twinkling sister-eyes of ,baker's ,isle40 ,her childhood was a period which she always looked back upon with fondness1 for the deep impressions made upon her mind never were obliterated4 ,the continued possession of these happy remembrances as she incorporated them into her womanhood1 is shown by the way she entered into the lives of other children1 whether in compiling a book of poems1 like 8,child ,life10 known wherever there are nurseries1 or in writing her own book1 8,childhood ,songs10 or in some of her many sketches in 8,our ,young ,folks10 8,st4 ,nicholas10 or the 8,youth's ,companion40 ,she knew by an unerring instinct what children were thinking about1 and how to interest them4 ,she always took delight in the little rivulets in the fields1 or the brown thrush singing from the tree1 or the pussy-clover running wild1 and eagerly watched for the red-letter days of children1 the anniversaries and birthdays4 ,she had happy memories of play in the old roomy barn1 and of the improvised swing hung from the rafters4 ,she recalled the fairy-tales and wonderful stories to which she listened with wide open eyes2 the reflection of her face in the burnished brass of the tongs2 and her child's night-thoughts when she began to feel that there were mysteries around her1 and to remember that the stars were shining when she was tucked in bed4 ,lucy ,larcom's book-learning began very early4 ,it seems almost incredible that she should have been able to read at two and a half years of age1 but such is the general testimony of her family4 ,she used to sit by the side of her old ,aunt ,stanley1 and thread needles for her1 listening to the songs and stories that the old lady told2 and ,aunt ,hannah1 in the school held in her kitchen1 where she often let the children taste the good things that were cooking1 managed not only to keep her out of mischief1 by her 8pudding-stick0 ferule1 or by rapping her on the head with a thimble1 but taught her the 8a1 b1 abs10 and parts of the ,psalms and ,epistles4 ,the strongest influence in her development was that of her sister ,emeline1 who inspired her with love for knowledge1 and instilled in her the highest ideals of girlhood4 ,this sister supplied her1 as she grew older1 with books1 and guided her reading4 ,referring to this1 she once said3-- 8,i wish to give due credit to my earliest educators1--those time-stained1 thumb-worn books1 that made me aware of living in a world of natural grandeur1 of lofty visions1 of heroic achievements1 of human faithfulness1 and sacrifice4 ,i always feel like entering a protest when ,i hear people say that there was very little for children to read fifty years ago4 ,there was very little of the cake and confectionery style of literature1 which is so abundant now2 but we had the genuine thing1--solid food1 in small quantities1 to suit our capacity1--and ,i think we were better off for not having too much of the lighter sort4 ,what we had #8stayed by4'0 ,the books that she read were 8,pilgrim's ,progress10 8,paul and ,virginia10 8,gulliver's ,travels10 ,sir ,walter ,scott's novels2 and in poetry1 ,spenser1 ,southey1 ,wordsworth1 and ,coleridge4 ,she knew these volumes almost by heart4 ,lucy's first love for poetry was fostered by the hymns she used to read in church1 during sermon time1 when the minister from his lofty pulpit entered upon a series of 8finallys10 which did not seem to be meant for her4 ,her fondness for hymns was so great that at one time she learned a hundred4 ,the rhythm of the musical accompaniment and the flow of the words taught her the measured feet of verse before she ever heard of an iambus or a choriambus4 ,finding that her own thoughts naturally expressed themselves in rhyme1 she used frequently to write little verses1 and stuff them down the crack in the floor of the attic4 ,the first poem that she read to the family was long remembered by them1 as1 wriggling with embarrassment1 she sat on a stool4 ,referring to her poetry at this time1 she says1 8,i wrote little verses1 to be sure1 but that was nothing2 they just grew4 ,they were the same as breathing or singing4 ,i could not help writing them4 ,they seemed to fly into my mind like birds going with a carol through the air40 ,there is an incident worth repeating1 that illustrates her sweetness and thoughtfulness of others4 ,when her father died1 she tried to comfort her mother3 8,i felt like preaching to her1 but ,i was too small a child to do that2 so ,i did the next best thing ,i could think of1--,i sang hymns1 as if singing to myself1 while ,i meant them for her40 ,these happy days in the country village came to an end in the year #ahce1 when necessity forced ,mrs4 ,larcom1 after the death of her husband1 to seek a home in the manufacturing community of ,lowell1 where there were more opportunities for the various members of her family to assist in the general maintenance of the home4 ,in ,lowell1 there were corporation boarding-houses for the operatives1 requiring respectable matrons as housekeepers1 and positions in the mills offered a means of livelihood to young girls4 ,attracted by these inducements1 many ,new ,england families left their homes1 in the mountains of ,new ,hampshire and along the seacoast1 and went to ,lowell4 ,the class of the employees in the mills was consequently different from the ordinary factory hand of to-day4 ,girls of education and refinement1 who had no idea of remaining in a mill all their lives1 worked in them for some years with the object1 often1 of helping to send a brother to college or making money enough to continue their education1 or to aid dear ones who had been left suddenly without support3-- 8,not always to be here among the looms1-- ,scarcely a girl she knew expected that2 ,means to one end1 their labor was1--to put ,gold nest-eggs in the bank1 or to redeem ,a mortgaged homestead1 or to pay the way ,through classic years at some academy2 ,more commonly to lay a dowry by ,for future housekeeping40#a ,the intention of ,mr4 ,francis ,cabot ,lowell and ,mr4 ,nathan ,appleton1 when they conceived the idea of establishing the mills1 was to provide conditions of living for operatives1 as different as possible from the ,old ,world ideals of factory labor4 ,they wisely decided to regard the mental and religious education of the girls as of first importance1 and those who followed these plans aimed to secure young women of intelligence from the surrounding towns1 and stimulate them to seek improvement in their leisure hours4 ,besides the free ,grammar ,school there were innumerable night schools2 and most of the churches provided1 by means of 8,social ,circles10 opportunities for improvement4 ,so in ,lowell there was a wide-awake set of girls working for their daily bread1 with a true idea of the dignity of labor1 and with the determination to make the most of themselves4 ,they reasoned thus1 as ,miss ,larcom expressed it3 8,that the manufacture of cloth should1 as a branch of feminine industry1 ever have suffered a shadow of discredit1 will doubtless appear to future generations a most ridiculous barbarism4 ,to prepare the clothing of the world seems to have been regarded as womanly work in all ages4 ,the spindle and the distaff1 the picturesque accompaniments of many an ancient legend--of ,penelope1 of ,lucretia1 of the ,fatal ,sisters themselves--have1 to be sure1 changed somewhat in their modern adaptation to the machinery which robes the human millions2 but they are1 in effect1 the same instruments1 used to supply the same need1 at whatever period of the world's history40 ,a few facts will show the character of these girls4 ,one of the ministers was asked how many teachers he thought he could furnish from among the working-girls4 ,he replied1 8,about five hundred40 ,a lecturer in the ,lowell ,lyceum stated that four fifths of his audience were factory girls1 that when he entered the hall most of the girls were reading from books1 and when he began his lecture every one seemed to be taking notes4 ,charles ,dickens1 after his visit to ,lowell in #ahdb1 wrote3 8,i solemnly declare that from all the crowd ,i saw in the different factories1 ,i cannot recall one face that gave me a painful impression2 not one young girl whom1 assuming it to be a matter of necessity that she should gain her daily bread by the labor of her hands1 ,i would have removed if ,i had the power40 ,mrs4 ,larcom kept a boarding-house for the operatives1 and ,lucy was thrown in close association with these strong young women4 ,she had access to the little accumulation of books that one of them had made1--,maria ,edgeworth's 8,helen10 ,thomas ,kempis1 ,bunyan's 8,holy ,war10 ,locke 8,on the ,understanding10 and 8,paradise ,lost40 ,this formed good reading for a girl of ten4 ,lucy's sister ,emeline started in the boarding-house two or three little fortnightly papers1 to which the girls contributed4 ,each ran a troubled existence of a few months1 and then gave place to its successor1 bearing a new name4 8,the ,casket10 for a time1 held their jewels of thought2 then 8,the ,bouquet0 gathered their full-blown ideas into a more pretentious collection4 ,the most permanent of these literary productions was one that started with the intention of being very profound1--it was called 8,the ,diving ,bell40 ,the significance of the name was carefully set forth in the first number3-- 8,our ,diving ,bell shall deep descend1 ,and bring from the immortal mind ,thoughts that to improve us tend1 ,of each variety and kind40 ,lucy soon became a poetical contributor2 and when the paper was read1 and the guessing as to the author of each piece began--for they were anonymous--the other girls were soon able to tell her work by its music and thought4 ,among the yellow and worm-eaten pages of the once popular 8,diving ,bell10 we find the following specimen of her earliest poetry3-- 8,i sit at my window and gaze ,at the scenery lovely around1 ,on the water1 the grass1 and the trees1 ,and ,i hear the brook's murmuring sound4 8,the bird warbles forth his soft lays1 ,and ,i smell the sweet fragrance of flowers1 ,i hear the low hum of the bees1 ,as they busily pass the long hours4 8,these pleasures were given to man ,to bring him more near to his ,god1 ,then let me praise ,god all ,i can1 ,until ,i am laid 'neath the sod40 ,from the interest excited by these little papers1 the desire of the girls became strong for more dignified literary expression2 and by the advice and assistance of the ,rev4 ,abel ,c4 ,thomas1 of the ,universalist ,church1 the 8,lowell ,offering0 was started in ,october1 #ahdj1 and the 8,operative's ,magazine0 originated in the ,literary ,society of the ,first ,congregational ,church4 ,these two magazines were united1 in #ahdb1 in the 8,lowell ,offering40 ,the editors of the 8,offering10 ,miss ,hariett ,farley and ,miss ,hariot ,curtiss1 factory girls1 were women of superior culture and versatility1 and made the magazine a unique experiment in our literature4 ,in its pages were clever sketches of home life1 humorous and pathetic tales1 charming fairy stories1 and poems4 ,its contributors1 like the editors1 were mill-girls4 ,it was successful for five years1 at one time having a subscription list as high as four thousand1 which the girls tried to increase by traveling for it1 as agents4 ,this periodical attracted wide attention by reason of its unusual origin4 ,selections were made from it1 and published in ,london1 in #ahdi1 called1 8,mind ,among the ,spindles20 and a gentleman attending the literary lectures1 in ,paris1 of ,philarte ,chasles1 was surprised to hear one in which the significance and merit of the 8,lowell ,offering0 was the sole theme4 ,our young author contributed to the 8,offering10 over the signatures 8,rotha10 or 8,l4 ,l410 a number of poems and short prose articles1 proving herself to be of sufficient ability to stand as a typical ,lowell factory girl4 ,the principle of the interest of manufacturers in the lives of their operatives was illustrated in ,lowell1 though it was not carried out always as intelligently as it should have been4 ,children were allowed to work too young4 ,lucy began to change the bobbins on the spinning frames at eleven years of age1 and the hours of work were sometimes from five in the morning to seven at night4 ,but the day passed pleasantly for her1 the bobbins having to be changed only every three quarters of an hour2 and the interval between these periods of work was occupied by conversation with the girls in the same room1 or by sitting in the window overlooking the river4 ,on the sides of one of these windows she had pasted newspaper clippings1 containing favorite poems1 which she committed to memory when she sat in this 8poet's corner40 ,during these years of mill-work she formed some of the ruling ideas of her life1 those that we can see influencing her later thoughts1 in her poetry and prose1 and1 best of all1 her living4 ,her sympathy for honest industry1 without any regard for its fictitious position in so-called 8society10 was developed by her acquaintance with those earnest girls who were struggling for their own support and education4 ,her capacity for friendship was continually tested2 she opened her nature to the influence of the other lives around her4 ,the questions in relation to human life and its meaning became part of her deepest interests4 ,in private conversations with her companions1 in the meetings at the churches1 and in her own meditations1 these thoughts struggled for a hearing3-- 8,oh1 what questionings ,of fate1 and freedom1 and how evil came1 ,and what death is1 and what the life to come1-- ,passed to and fro among these girls60#b ,the answers she gave were the truest4 ,her thought instinctively turned to the ,invisible ,power of the ,universe1 not solely as an explanation of things as they exist1 or as a philosophical postulate1 but as a ,spirit whose presence could be felt in nature1 in persons1 and in her own heart4 ,in other words1 a love for ,god as a ,being of ,love began to take possession of her2 it seized upon her at times like the rushing inspiration of the prophets2 her trust was what is spoken of in theology as an experimental knowledge4 ,her early training by ,puritan methods in the thought of a ,sovereign ,lord1 deeply affected her1 yet she seems to have rediscovered ,god for herself1 in the beauty that her poet's eye revealed to her--beauties of river and sea and sky1 of flowers rejoicing in their color and perfume1 and of human sympathies4 ,welling up in her own soul1 she felt the waters troubled by the angel's touch1 and was confident of ,god4 ,with this faith as a guide1 the answers to other questions became plain4 ,life itself was a gift which must be used in ,his service2 no evil thought or purpose should be allowed to enter and interfere with the soul's growth2 duties were the natural outlets of the soul2 through them the soul found its happiness4 ,when she thought of death1 there was only one logical way of looking at it3 as a transition into a fuller life1 where the immortal spirits of men could draw nearer to each other and to ,god4 ,she seems never1 from the very first1 to have had any doubts as to what the end of life meant4 ,there was always the portal ready to open into the richer ,kingdom of ,heaven4 ,the churches in ,lowell stimulated her religious thought4 ,at thirteen years of age1 she stood up before her beloved minister1 ,dr4 ,amos ,blanchard1 and professed her belief in the ,christian religion1 and for many years found refreshment in the ,sunday services4 ,but as she grew older1 she found many of the doctrines of ,calvinistic ,orthodoxy difficult for her to accept1 and she regretted the step she had taken4 ,the worship was not always helpful to her1 especially the long prayer3-- 8,that long prayer ,was like a toilsome journey round the world1 ,by ,cathay and the ,mountains of the ,moon1 ,to come at our own door-stone1 where ,he stood ,waiting to speak to us1 the ,father dear1 ,who is not far from any one of us40#c ,she admired the picturesque ,episcopal church of ,st4 ,ann's1 with its vine-wreathed stone walls1 8an oasis amid the city's dust40 ,the ,church for which this venerable edifice stood was to be her final religious home1 and in its stately services and sacred rites she was to find the spiritual nourishment of her later years4 ,she took an interest in the movements of politics1 especially the question of slavery2 she was an ,abolitionist with the strongest feelings1 from the first4 ,she had some scruples about working on the cotton which was produced by slave labor3-- 8,when ,i have thought what soil the cotton plant ,we weave is rooted in1 what waters it-- ,the blood of souls in bondage--,i have felt ,that ,i was sinning against light1 to stay ,and turn the accursd fibre into cloth ,for human wearing4 ,i have hailed one name-- ,you know it--#8,garrison'--as a soul might hail ,his soul's deliverer40#d ,whenever a petition for the abolition of slavery was circulated1 to be sent to ,congress1 it was always sure to have the name of ,lucy ,larcom upon it4 ,the poetry of ,mr4 ,whittier had aroused her spirit1 and though she does not seem to have written any of her stirring anti-slavery verses until years later1 she was nursing the spark that during the ,civil ,war blew into a flame4 ,it was in #ahdc1 while in ,lowell1 that she first met ,mr4 ,whittier1 who was editing the 8,middlesex ,standard40 ,being present at one of the meetings of the 8,improvement ,circle10 he heard her read one of her poems1 8,sabbath ,bells30-- 8,list6 a faint1 a far-off chime6 ',tis the knell of holy time1 ,chiming from the city's spires1 ,from the hamlet's altar fires1 ,waking woods and lonely dells1 ,pleasant are the ,sabbath bells40 ,this introduction began one of her most beautiful friendships2 it lasted for half a century4 ,she learned to know and love the poet's sweet1 noble sister1 ,elizabeth1 and ,lucy was treated by her like a sister4 ,there was something in ,miss ,larcom's nature not unlike ,mr4 ,whittier's1--the same love for the unobserved beauties of country life1 the same energy and fire1 the same respect for the honest and sturdy elements in ,new ,england life1 the same affection for the sea and mountains1 and a similar deep religious sense of the nearness of ,god4 ,having worked five years in the spinning-room1 she was transferred at her own request to the position of book-keeper1 in the cloth-room of the ,lawrence ,mills4 ,here1 having more time to herself1 she devoted to study the minutes not required by her work1 reading extracts from the best books1 and writing many of the poems that appeared in the 8,offering40 ,it was her habit to carry a sort of prose sketch-book1 not unlike an artist's1 in which she would jot down in words the exact impression made upon her by a scene or a natural object1 using both as models from which to draw pictures in words4 ,in this way she would describe1 for instance1 an autumn leaf1 accurately giving its shape1 color1 number of ribs and veins1 ending with a reflection on the decay of beauty4 ,in turning over the leaves of this sketch-book1 one finds descriptions of the gnarled tree with its bare branches thrusting themselves forth in spiteful crookedness2 the butterfly lying helpless in the dust with its green robes sprinkled with ashes2 the wind in the pines singing a melancholy tune in the summer sunlight2 and other subjects of equal beauty4 ,as an illustration of these prose-poems1 the suggestion for which she derived from ,jean ,paul ,richter1 the following may be of interest3 it is called1 8,flowers beneath ,dead ,leaves30-- 8,two friends were walking together beside a picturesque mill-stream4 ,while they walked they talked of mortal life1 its meaning and its end2 and1 as is almost inevitable with such themes1 the current of their thoughts gradually lost its cheerful flow4 8#8,this is a miserable world1' said one4 #8,the black shroud of sorrow overhangs everything here4' 8#8,not so1' replied the other4 #8,sorrow is not a shroud2 it is only the covering ,hope wraps about her when she sleeps4' 8,just then they entered an oak grove4 ,it was early spring1 and the trees were bare2 but the last year's leaves lay thick as snowdrifts upon the ground4 8#8,the liverwort grows here1 ,i think1--one of our earliest flowers1' said the last speaker4 #8,there1 push away the leaves1 and you will see it4 ,how beautiful1 with its delicate shades of pink1 and purple and green1 lying against the bare roots of the oak tree6 ,but look deeper1 or you will not find the flowers3 they are under the dead leaves4' 8#8,now ,i have learned a lesson which ,i shall not forget1' said her friend4 #8,this seems to me to be a bad world2 and there is no denying that there are bad things in it4 ,to a sweeping glance it will sometimes seem barren and desolate2 but not one buried germ of life and beauty is lost to the ,all-,seeing ,eye4 ,having the weakness of human vision1 ,i must believe where ,i cannot see4 ,henceforth1 when ,i am tempted to despair on account of evil1 ,i will say to myself1 ,look deeper2 look under the dead leaves1 and you will find flowers4'0 ,lucy ,larcom almost imperceptibly slipped into womanhood during these ,lowell years4 ,from being an eager and precocious child1 she became an intelligent and thoughtful woman4 ,the one characteristic which seemed most fully defined was her tendency to express her thoughts in verse and prose4 ,as is the case with young authors1 her early verses were artificial1 the sentiments were often borrowed1 and the emotions were not always genuine4 ,it is not natural to find a healthy young girl writing on such themes as 8,earthly joys are fleeting10 8,trust not the world1 'twill cheat thee40 8,the murderer's request0 was-- 8,bury me not where the breezes are sighing ,o'er those whom ,i loved in my innocent days40 ,but when she wrote out of her own experience1 and recorded impressions she had felt1 there was a touch of reality in her work that gave some prophecy of her future excellence4 ,she could write understandingly about the boisterous ,march winds1 or 8school days10-- 8,when ,i read old ,peter ,parley1 ,like a bookworm1 through and through1 ,vainly shunned ,i ,lindley ,murray1 ,and dull ,colburn's #8,two and ,two4'0 ,one cannot find any evidence that she made a study of verse-making1 not even possessing 8,walker's ,rhyming ,dictionary40 ,her powers were cultivated mainly by reading the poetry of others and unconsciously catching their spirit and metre4 ,her ear for music helped her more than her knowledge of tetrameters or hexameters4 ,the most important results of these years were the development of her self-reliance and sweetness1 the stirring up of her ambitions to win an education1 and the dawnings of her spiritual life4 ,she was laying up stores of impressions and memories1 also1 that were to be permanently preserved in her more finished poems of later years4 ,the imagery of her maturer verse recalls her early days1 when in the freedom of childhood she roamed the fields and the woods1 and lived on the banks of the ,merrimac4 ,we see her youth again through her reminiscences of the barberry cluster sweetened by the frost2 the evening primrose2 roses wet with briny spray2 the woodbine clambering up the cliff2 heaps of clover hay2 breezes laden with some rare wood scent2 the varied intonations of the wind2 hieroglyphic lichens on the rocks2 the mower whistling from the land2 the white feet of the children pattering on the sand2 the one aged tree on the mountain-top1 wrestling with the storm wind2 the candles lighted at sunset in the gambrel-roofed houses2 the lightning glaring in the face of the drowning sailor2 the tragedy of unconscious widowhood2 the mill-wheel1 the hidden power of the mill1 with its great dripping spokes2 and the mystery of meeting and blending horizons4 ,in the spring of #ahdf the scene of ,lucy ,larcom's life was changed1 when her sister ,emeline married1 and went to seek a home in the ,west1 for she shared with the new family their pioneer life in ,illinois4 ,a few days before they started on their journey1 she wrote some lines of farewell in her scribbling-book1 which show that she was beginning to use real experiences for the subject of her verses4 8,farewell to thee1 ,new ,england6 ,thou mother1 whose kind arm ,hath e'er been circled round me1 ,the stern and yet the warm4 ,farewell6 thou little village1 ,my birthplace and my home1 ,along whose rocky border ,the morning surges come4 ,thy name shall memory echo1 ,as exiled shell its wave4 ,art thou my home no longer8 ,still keep for me a grave40 ,,chapter ,,ii4 ,,in ,,illinois4 #ahdf-aheb4 ,a journey from ,massachusetts to ,illinois1 in #ahdf1 was long1 and filled with inconveniences4 ,a little time-worn diary1 written in pencil1 kept by ,lucy ,larcom on the journey1 is interesting for itself1 and preserves the record of the difficulties that beset early travelers to the ,west4 ,monday1 ,april #ac1 #ahdf4 ,returned to ,boston in the morning1 and now1 in the afternoon1 we have really started4 ,passing through ,massachusetts and ,connecticut1 we encountered a snowstorm1 something quite unexpected at this season6 ,came on board the steamboat 8,worcester10 in darkness4 ,and here we are1 three of us1 squeezed into the queerest little cubby-hole of a state-room that could be thought of4 ,we all sat down on the floor and laughed till we cried1 to see ourselves in such close companionship6 ,we had a dispute1 just for the fun of it1 as to who should occupy the highest shelf4 ,it was out of the question to put ,e4 and the baby up there1 and for myself1 ,i painted the catastrophe which would occur1 should ,i come down with my full weight upon the rest1 in such glowing colors1 that they were willing to consign me to the second shelf2 and here ,i lie while the rest are asleep 7if they can sleep on their first steamboat trip7 trying to write of my wonderful experiences as a traveler4 ,tuesday4 ,alas6 ,must ,i write it8 ,the boast of our house must cease4 ,when it has been said with so much pride that a ,larcom was never seasick6--,i have proved the contrary4 ,i only thought to eat a bit of 8'lasses gingerbread10 on occasion of my departure from ,yankee ,land1 and while ,i lay to-day in my berth1 ,i was inwardly admonished that the angry ,neptune was not pleased with my feasting1 and ,i was obliged to yield up the precious morsel as a libation to him4 ,small sleep had ,i this night4 ,in the morning1 ,s4 and ,i rose long before daylight1 and went out to peep at the sea by moonlight4 ,it was strange and new to see the path of the great creature in the waters4 ,after daylight most of the passengers came on deck4 ,it was delightful sailing into ,new ,york by sunrise4 ,passing through ,hellgate1 ,i was reminded of the worthy ,dutch who went this way long ago1 as ,dick ,knickerbocker records4 ,passed ,blackwell's ,island1--saw prisoners at work1--looked like pigs4 ,also passed the fort on ,frog's ,neck2 small beauty in the great smoky city for me2 an hour's stay and a breakfast at the hotel were enough4 ,took the cars across ,new ,jersey4 ,don't like the appearance of this ,state at all4 ,reached ,philadelphia about noon4 ,went immediately aboard the 8,ohio0--a beautiful boat1 and a lovely afternoon it was when we sailed down the ,delaware4 ,the city looked so pleasant with the sun shining on it1 and the green waving trees about it1 while the waves looked so smooth in their white fringes1 that ,i could have jumped overboard for joy6 ,never shall ,i forget that afternoon4 ,at evening1 took the cars to--somewhere1 on the ,chesapeake ,bay1 and thence to ,baltimore on another boat4 ,saw hedges1 for the first time1 in ,maryland4 ,had an unpleasant sail in an unpleasant boat4 ,sister and ,s4 wretchedly seasick2 so was nearly everybody1 but ,i redeemed my fame1 dancing attendance from baby to the sick ones continually4 ,the wind blew1 the boat rocked1 and the tide was against us4 ,one poor little ,irish woman1 who was going with her baby to meet her husband1 was terribly frightened4 ,i tried to comfort her1 but she said 8she would pull every curl out of her old man's head1 for sending for her and the baby40 ,all the while1 a queer-looking ,german couple were on deck2 the man appeared as if intoxicated1 first scolding and then kissing6 ,the wind was cold1 but the man shook his fists when one young lady asked the woman to come inside and get warm4 ,she would cry when he scolded her1 and 8make up0 again as soon as he was disposed to4 ,then they would promenade together very lovingly and very awkwardly4 ,came into ,baltimore between ten and eleven4 ,s4 had her pocket picked on the way6 ,stopped at the ,national ,hotel for the night1 and left ,b4 again in the morning1 in the cars4 ,glad enough1 too1 for ,i hate cities1 and ,b4 worst of all4 ,rode through ,maryland4 ,a very delightful state1 but slavery spoils it4 ,saw the first log-cabin2 it was quite decent-looking1 in comparison with the idea ,i had formed of it4 ,stopped at a station where there were three little negroes sitting on a bench1 sunning themselves1 and combing each other's wool meanwhile4 ,they looked the picture of ignorance and happiness4 ,were all day ,thursday riding through the ,state of ,maryland4 ,saw flowers and trees in blossom3 delightful country1 quite hilly1 and well watered4 ,followed the course of the ,potomac a long way1 and at noon stopped at ,harper's ,ferry1 a wild-looking place1 though ,i think not so romantic as a place we passed just before it1 where the waters curve in gentle flow from between two bold hills4 ,now saw the mountains around ,cumberland4 ,at ,cumberland1 were squeezed into a stage1 to cross the ,alleghenies4 ,oh1 what misery did we not endure that night6 ,nine1 and a baby1 in the little stage6 ,i tried to reconcile myself to my fate1 but was so cross if anybody spoke to me6 ,when we got out of the stage in the morning ,i felt more like a snake crawling from a heap of rocks than anything else4 ,we stretched ourselves1 and took breakfast1 such as we could get1 at a poor-looking tavern4 ,then into the stage again1 and over the mountains to ,brownsville2 never imagined mountains could be so high1 when we were riding on mountains all the time4 ,reached ,brownsville about twelve1--a dingy place down among the hills4 ,took a little walk here4 ,embarked for ,pittsburgh2 was glad enough to stow myself away into a berth and rest4 ,didn't trouble the ,monongahela with a glance after the boat started1 for ,i was 8used up40 ,found ourselves at ,pittsburgh in the morning1 a dirty city indeed4 ,everything black and smoky4 ,should think the sun would refuse to shine upon it4 ,friday noon4 ,here we take another boat--the 8,clipper0--the prettiest one ,i have seen yet4 ,splendidly furnished1 neat1 comfortable berths1 and all we could ask for4 ,the ,ohio is a beautiful stream4 ,i sit in my state-room with the door open1 8taking notes40 ,i am on the ,ohio side2 the banks are steep1--now and then we pass a little town4 ,we have stopped at one1 now2 men and boys are looking down on us from a sand-bank far above our heads4 ,why the people chose a sand-bank1 when they might have had a delightful situation almost anywhere1 ,i wonder much6 ,oh1 dear6 nothing looks like home6 but ,i must not think of that1 now4 ,saturday noon4 ,we are passing through a delightful country4 ,peach-trees along the banks of the river1 in full bloom1 reflected in the water by sunrise1 and surrounded by newly-leaved trees of every shade of green1--they were beautiful indeed4 ,have been perfectly charmed with the varied prospect4 ,hills stretching down to the margin of the river1 covered with trees1 and sunny little cottages nestled at their base1 surrounded with every sort of fruit-tree1--old trees hanging over the river1 their topmost boughs crowned with the dark green mistletoe4 ,think ,i should like to live here a little while4 ,sat on the deck this forenoon1 and sang 8,sweet ,home10 and 8,i would not live alway10 with ,mr4 ,c4 and ,s4 ,thunder-storm this afternoon2 went on deck after tea to see the sunset--beautiful6 ,water still1 and reflecting gold from motionless clouds4 ,went out again at dusk1 and heard the frogs singing4 ,it seemed a little like ,saturday evening at home2 but no6 ,passed ,north ,bend before sunset4 ,beautiful place3 large house1 standing back from the road1 half hid by trees2 a small green hill near the house covered with young trees2 and a fine orchard in bloom on another hill1 near by4 ,the river bends on the ,ohio side4 #bast4 ,stopped at ,st4 ,louis1 about ten o'clock4 ,lay here till nearly dark1 waiting for canal to be mended4 ,oppressively hot2 could not sit still nor sleep4 ,going through the canal very slowly4 #bb;d4 ,passed through the locks in the night4 ,morning1--found ,illinois on the right4 ,dogwort looked sweet among the light green foliage4 ,stopped at ,evansville in the afternoon1 and took in a freight of mosquitoes4 ,cabin full4 ,retired early1 to get out of their way4 #bc;d4 ,played chess1 forenoon4 ,came to the north of the bend about ten4 ,went on deck to see the meeting of the waters4 ,grand sight4 ,cairo1 small town on the point1 has been overflowed4 ,so near my new home2 begin to be homesick4 ,the new home was destined to be a log-cabin on ,looking-,glass ,prairie1 ,st4 ,clair ,county1 ,illinois1 with the broad rolling country all around1 and a few houses in sight4 ,this settlement was designated 8,frogdom0 by some of the residents4 ,the little family had to put up with great inconveniences1 the house not even being plastered1 and the furniture being of the most primitive kind4 ,soon after their arrival1 they were all ill with malarial fever1 commonly called 8agey10 but their spirits never flagged4 ,lucy somewhere speaks of herself as having a cheerful disposition2 it helped her1 at this time1 to deal with the discomforts of the novel surroundings4 ,her sister refers to her1 in a letter to ,beverly1 as 8our merry young sister ,lucy40 ,some of the neighbors were not as comfortable as these new farmers4 ,one of them1 living not very far off1 had for a home a hastily constructed shanty1 with a bunk for a bed1 and innumerable rat-holes to let the smoke out when he had a fire4 ,others were 8right smart0 folk from ,pennsylvania4 ,her main object1 however1 was not to be a farmer1 but to become a district-school teacher4 ,she soon secured a position2 and began the itinerant life of a teacher1 spending a few months in many different places4 ,she received her salary every three months4 ,once1 when there was a little delay in the payment1 she requested it4 ,the forty dollars were paid with the remark that 8it was a powerful lot of money for only three months' teaching40 ,the rough boys and untrained girls called forth all her patience1 and the need of holding their attention forced her to adopt a straightforward method of expressing herself4 ,sometimes her experiences were ludicrous4 ,one day1 having to discipline a mischievous urchin1 she put him on a stool near the fireplace1 and then went on with the lessons1 not noticing him very much4 ,looking to see what he was doing1 she was surprised at his disappearance from the room4 ,the question was1 8,where has he gone80 ,it was answered by one of the scholars1 8,he's gone up the chimney40 ,he had indeed crawled up the wide open fireplace1 and1 having thus escaped1 was dancing a jig in front of the school-house4 ,miss ,larcom taught in many different places--,waterloo1 ,lebanon1 ,sugar ,creek1 ,woodburn--and generally the rate of payment was fourteen dollars a month4 ,board and lodging cost her one dollar and twenty-five cents a week4 ,she did her own washing and ironing4 ,the frequent change of schools made her form attachments for the children that had to be quickly broken4 ,speaking of a farewell at one school1 she said1 8,the children cried bitterly when ,i dismissed them1 whether for joy or sorrow it isn't for me to say40 ,her letters to ,beverly were brimful of fun2 they give1 in an easy style1 a vivid account of the hardships of these log-cabin days4 ,the two following letters were written to her sisters1 ,abby and ,lydia4 ,,to ,,mrs4 ,,abby ,o4 ,,haskell4 ,,looking-,,glass ,,prairie1 ,may #ai1 #ahdf4 ,,dear ,,sister ,,abby1--,i think it is your turn to have a letter now1 so ,i've just snuffed the candle1 and got all my utensils about me1 and am going to see how quickly ,i can write a good long one4 ,well1 for my convenience1 ,i beg that you will borrow the wings of a dove1 and come and sit down here by me4 ,there1--don't you see what a nice little room we are in8 ,to be sure1 one side of it has not got any side to it1 because the man couldn't afford to lath and plaster it1 but that patch curtain that ,emeline has hung up makes it snug enough for summer time1 and reminds us of the days of ancient tapestried halls1 and all that4 ,that door1 where the curtain is1 goes into the entry2 and there1 right opposite1 is another one that goes into the parlor1 but ,i shall not go in there with you1 because there aren't any chairs in there2 you might sit on ,emeline's blue trunk1 or ,sarah's green one1 though2 but ,i'm afraid you'd go behind the sheet in the corner1 and steal some of ,emeline's milk that she's saving to make butter of2 and then1 just as likely as not1 you'd want to know why that square piece of board was put on the bottom of the window1 with the pitchfork stuck into it to keep it from falling2 of course1 we shouldn't like to tell you that there's a square of glass out1 and ,i suppose you don't know about that great tom-cat's coming in1 two nights1 after we had all gone to bed1 and making that awful caterwauling4 ,so you had better stay here in the kitchen1 and ,i'll show you all the things2 it won't take long4 ,that door at the top of three steps leads upstairs2 the little low one close to it is the closet door1--you needn't go prying in there1 to see what we've got to eat1 for you'll certainly bump your head if you do2 pass by the parlor door and the curtain1 and look out of that window on the front side of the house2 if it was not so dark1 you might see the beautiful flower-beds that ,sarah has made1--a big diamond in the centre1 with four triangles to match it4 ,as true as ,i live1 she has been making her initials right in the centre of the diamond6 ,there's a great ,s1 and an ,m1 but where's the ,h8 ,oh6 you don't know how that dog came in and scratched it all up1 and laid down there to sun himself1 the other day4 ,we tell her there's a sign to it1--losing her maiden name so soon4 ,she declares she won't have it altered by a puppy1 though4 ,these two windows look 7through the fence7 over to our next neighbor's2 that's our new cooking-stove between them2 isn't it a cunning one8 the funnel goes up clear through ,emeline's bedroom1 till it gets to 8outdoors40 ,we keep our chimney in the parlor4 ,then that door on the other side looks away across the prairie1 three or four miles2 and that brings us to where we started from4 ,as to furniture1 this is the table1 where ,i am writing2 it is a stained one1 without leaves1 large enough for six to eat from1 and it cost just two dollars and a quarter4 ,there are a half dozen chairs1 black1 with yellow figures1 and this is the rocking-chair1 where we get baby to sleep4 ,that is ,e4's rag mat before the stove1 and ,george fixed that shelf for the water-pail in the corner4 ,the coffee-mill is close to it1 and that's all4 ,now don't you call us rich8 ,i'm sure we feel grand enough4 ,now1 if you would only just come and make us a visit in earnest1 ,emeline would make you some nice corn-meal fritters1 and you should have some cream and sugar on them2 and ,i would make you some nice doughnuts1 for ,i've learned so much2 and you should have milk or coffee1 just as you pleased2 it is genteel to drink coffee for breakfast1 dinner1 and supper1 here4 ,then1 if you didn't feel satisfied1 we should say that it was because you hadn't lived on johnny-cakes and milk a week1 as we did4 ,i have got to begin to be very dignified1 for ,i am going to begin to keep school next ,monday1 in a little log-cabin1 all alone4 ,one of the 8committee men0 took me to ,lebanon1 last ,saturday1 in his prairie wagon1 to be examined4 ,you've no idea how frightened ,i was1 but ,i answered all their questions1 and didn't make any more mistakes than they did4 ,they told me ,i made handsome figures1 wrote a good hand1 and spoke correctly1 so ,i begin to feel as if ,i knew most as much as other folks4 ,emeline does not gain any flesh1 although she has grown very handsome since she came to the land of 8hog and hominy40 ,your humble servant is as fat as a pig1 as usual1 though she has not tasted any of the porkers since her emigration1 for the same reason that a certain gentleman would not eat any of ,aunt ,betsey's cucumbers1--8not fit to eat40 ,that's my opinion1 and if you had seen such specimens of the living animal as ,i have1 since ,i left home1 you'd say so1 too4 ,,lucy4 ,,to ,,mrs4 ,i4 ,w4 ,,baker4 ,,looking-,,glass ,,prairie1 ,june #i1 #ahdf4 ,,dear ,,sister1--,here ,i am1 just got home from school2 all at once a notion takes me that ,i want to write to you1 and ,i'm doing it4 ,i'm sitting in our parlor1 or at least1 what we call our parlor1 because the cooking-stove is not in it1 and because ,emeline has laid her pretty rag mat before the hearth1 and because the sofa is in here4 ,there6 you didn't think we'd get a sofa out here1 did you8 ,well1 to be sure1 it isn't exactly like your sofa1 because it isn't stuffed1 nor covered1 nor has it any back1 only the side of the house2 nor any legs1 only red ones1 made of brick2 dear me6 ,i'm afraid you'll 8find out10 after all1--but it certainly did come all the way from ,st4 ,louis1 in the wagon with the other furniture4 ,we keep our 8cheers0 in the kitchen1 and we find that ,becky ,wallis's definition of them1 i4 e41 8to sit on10 don't tell the whole story now4 ,but don't you want to hear how we like it1 out here1 in this great country8 ,oh1 happy as clams6 and we haven't been homesick1 either1 only once in a while1 when it seemed so queer getting 8naturalized10 that we couldn't help 8keepin' up a terrible thinkin'40 ,by the way1 we were all sick last week1--no1 not all2 ,emeline and the baby were not4 ,george and ,sarah and ,i all had the doctor at once4 ,i was taken first1 and had the most violent attack1 and got well soonest4 ,our complaint was remittent fever1 which is only another name for chills and fever1 ,i suspect4 ,i felt ashamed to get 8the chills0 so soon after coming here1 and ,i believe the doctor was kind enough to call it something else4 ,i did have one regular 8chill10 though2 the blood settled under my nails1 and though ,i didn't shake1 ,i shivered 8like ,i had the agey40 ,that's our ,western phraseology4 ,blue pills and quinine ,i thought would be the death of me2 but ,i believe they cured me after all4 ,i had to leave school for a week1 but yesterday ,i commenced again4 ,my school6 ,oh1 the times ,i do have there with the young ,suckers6 ,i have to walk rather more than a mile to it1 and it is in just the most literal specimen of a log-cabin that you can form any idea of4 ',tis built of unhewn logs1 laid 8criss-cross10 as we used to say down in the lane2 the chinks filled up with mud1 except those which are not filled up 8at all1 at all10 and the chimney is stuck on behind the house4 ,the floor lies as easy as it can on the ground1 and the benches are1 some of them 7will you believe it871 very much like our sofa4 ,they never had a school in this district before1 and my 8ideas0 are beginning to 8shoot0 very naturally1 most of them4 ,i asked one new scholar yesterday how old she was4 8,don't know10 she said1 8never was inside of a school-house before40 ,another big girl got hold of my rubbers the other day1 8,ouch10 said she1 8be them ,ingin robbers8 ,i never seen any 'fore40 ,some of them are bright enough to make up for all this1 and on the whole ,i enjoy being 8schoolma'am0 very much4 ,i have not seen a snake since ,i came here1 and if ,i didn't have to pass through such a sprinkling of cattle on my way to school1 ,i shouldn't have a morsel of trouble4 ,everybody turns his 8cattle-brutes0 out on the open prairie to feed1 and they will get right into my path1 and such a mooing and bellowing as they make6 ,george has three big cows and two little ones1 and two calves1 and a horse1 and ten hens1 and a big pig and a little one3 only the big pig has dug a subterranean passage1 and 8runned away40 ,and ,i don't milk the cows1 and ,i won't learn to1 if ,i can help it1 because they will be so impolite as to turn round and stare me in the face always when ,i go near them4 ,talk to me about getting married and settling down here in the ,west6 ,i don't do that thing till ,i'm a greater goose than ,i am now1 for love nor money4 ,it is a common saying here1 that 8this is a fine country for men and dogs1 but women and oxen have to take it40 ,the secret of it is that farmers' wives have to do all their work in one room1 without any help1 and almost nothing to work with4 ,if ever ,i had the mind to take the vestal vow1 it has been since ,i 8emigrated40 ,you'll see me coming back one of these years1 a 8right smart0 old maid1 my fat sides and cheeks shaking with 8the agey10 to the tune of 8,oh1 take your time1 ,miss ,lucy60 ,i've a good mind to give you a picture1 for the sun is setting1 and it makes me feel 8sort o' romantic40 ,well1 in the first place1 make a great wide daub of green1 away off as far as the sunset2 streak it a little deeper1 half-way there1 for the wheat fields4 ,a little to the right make a smooth1 bluish green hill1 as even as a potato hill1--that's the ,blue ,mound4 ,a little one side1 make a hundred little red1 black1 and white specks on the grass1--them's the 8cattle-brutes40 ,right against the sun1 you may make a little bit of a house1 with one side of the roof hanging over like an umbrella1--that's ,mr4 ,merritt's4 ,and here1 right before you1 make a little whitewashed log-cabin1 with a ,virginia fence all round it ever so far1 and a bank on one side sloping down to a little brook1 where honey-locust trees a-plenty grow4 ,make it green in a great circle all round1 just as if you were out at sea1 where it's all blue2 then put on a great round blue sky for a cover1 throw in a very few clouds1 and have a 8picter10 or part of one1 of our prairie4 ,there now1 don't you think ,i should have been an artist1 if circumstances had only developed my natural genius8 ,all send love4 ,your everlasting sister1 ,,lucy4 ,the pioneer family found it necessary to move their main headquarters1 for ,mr4 ,spaulding1 the husband of ,emeline1 decided to give up farming1 and become a minister4 ,ministers were scarce in that region1 and seeing the need1 he carried out a cherished plan of his youth by being ordained as a preacher of the gospel4 ,consequently they deserted their home1 and went to ,woodburn1 with all their newly acquired furniture on three wagons1 each drawn by three yoke of oxen that splashed through the mud1 until they came to a cottage possessing more rooms than the house they had left1 though the doors were made of rough boards4 ,these rooms were papered by ,lucy1 with ,boston 8,journals40 ,she grew to love this cottage1 for it represented home to her on the prairie4 ,in spite of cares and unpoetical methods of living1 her pen was not idle4 ,she wrote of the little prairie rose3-- 8,flowers around are thick and bright1 ,the purple phlox and orchis white1 ,the orange lily1 iris blue1 ,and painted cups of flaming hue4 ,not one among them grows1 ,so lovely as the little prairie rose40 ,the spirit of a jolly ride over the snow she caught in some lines called 8,a ,prairie ,sleigh-,ride30-- 8,away o'er the prairies1 the wide and the free1 ,away o'er the glistening prairies with me2 ,the last glance of day lights a blush on the snow1 ,while away through the twilight our merry steeds go40 ,she also felt the awe inspired by the silence and immensity of the land1 with the blue heavens arching over4 8,but in its solemn silence1 ,father1 we feel thou art ,filling alike this boundless sea1 ,and every humble heart40 ,when ,lucy had been teaching district school for two years1 she was conscious of her deficiencies1 and longed for a chance to acquire a more thorough education4 ,she wished to fit herself for promotion in her calling1 and ambitions to become a writer were not absent from her thoughts4 ,an opportunity for study presented itself in ,monticello ,female ,seminary1 ,alton1 ,illinois1 which was about twenty miles away from her home4 ,this institution1 founded by ,captain ,b4 ,godfrey1 was one of the first established in the country for the higher education of women4 ,the prospectus of #ahde1 adorned with a stiff engraving of the grounds and large stone building1 offered in its antiquated language1 attractions which seemed to suit her needs3 8,the design of the ,institution1 is to furnish ,young ,ladies with an education1 substantial1 extensive and practical1--that shall at the same time develop harmoniously their physical1 intellectual1 and moral powers1 and prepare them for the sober realities and duties of life40 ,all this was to be had for a sum less than one hundred dollars1 in a situation so healthful that there 8had never been a death in the institution40 ,,to ,,mrs4 ,i4 ,w4 ,,baker4 ,,woodburn1 ,november #bc1 #ahdh4 444 ,i have a new notion in my head1 and ,i suppose ,i may as well broach it at once4 ,there is a certain ,seminary in the neighborhood at which ,i am very anxious to pass a year or so4 ,it is one of the best of its kind4 ,i want a better education than ,i have4 ,now ,i am only a tolerable sort of a 8schoolma'am0 for children2 but if ,i could teach higher branches1 ,i could make it more profitable1 with less labor4 ,i suppose ,i must call teaching my trade2 and though ,i don't like it the 8very best kind10 ,i want to understand it as well as possible4 ,and then if ,i don't always keep school ,i may be able to depend on my pen for a living4444 ,as ,lucy was not able to pay the full tuition1 the principal1 ,miss ,fobes1 arranged that she should be both student and teacher1 thus helping to defray her expenses4 ,she entered the school in ,september1 #ahdi1 and studied1 in earnest1 history1 metaphysics1 ,english literature1 and higher mathematics1 and laid the foundation for a thorough education4 ,her schoolmates remember with pleasure the beauty of her lite at ,monticello4 ,they speak of the gentleness and peculiar sweetness of her character4 ,nothing coarse or mean could be associated with her4 ,being older than the other girls she was looked up to with reverence by them4 ,her singular purity of mind was illustrated by a remark to one of her companions1 when they were talking about the ,christian life1--8,i never knew there was any other way to live40 ,one of her schoolmates writes3 8,i felt homesick1 until one day ,i was introduced to a large1 fair-faced woman1 and looked up to meet a pair of happy blue eyes smiling down upon me1 so full of sweet human kindness that the clouds fell straight away4 ,and from that day the kindness never failed me--,i think it never failed anyone4 #8,the sunshine of her face' were words that went out in many of my letters in those days40 ,she studied industriously each subject of the course4 ,her note-books contain full extracts from the authors she was reading1 with long comments by herself4 ,those on philosophy indicate a mind naturally delighting in speculative questions2 and when her reasoning touches upon theology1 she seems especially in earnest4 ,history appealed to her imagination1 and she seized upon the more dramatic incidents for comment4 ,english literature opened a new world of thought to her1 and she studied enthusiastically the origin and growth of poetry4 ,in these studies of ,english it was first suggested to her that there was an art of versification1 which could be cultivated4 ,from this time her lines conform more to poetic rules1 her ear for music being supplemented by a knowledge of metre4 ,there was one subject she could not master1--mathematics3 8,i am working on spherical trigonometry1 just now4 ,i don't fancy it much2 it needs a clearer head than mine to take in such abstract matters as the sides and angles of the triangle that can be imagined1 but not seen40 ,she would exclaim1 when studying ,conic ,sections1 that she could see all the beauty1 and feel all the poetry1 but could not take the steps4 ,when1 however1 after great work1 she did understand a proposition1 she accepted it as an eternal fact which ,god used for infinite purposes4 ,the girls at ,monticello had a debating society4 ,they gained confidence in speaking on such questions as1--8,the blind man has more enjoyment in life1 than the dumb man10 or1 8,does the development of science depend more upon genius than industry80 ,youthful wits were sharpened as a result of affirming and denying these momentous propositions1 in arguments as strong as could be had4 ,does not the following extract from one of ,lucy's speeches present a typical picture of the fortunes of war in debate1 when members are sometimes overcome by the weight of their own wisdom8 8,the member from ,otter ,creek arose and said that immigrants to this country were not the lowest classes1 that they were quite a decent sort of people--but upon uttering these words1 she was shaken by a qualm of conscience1 or some sudden indisposition1 and compelled to take her seat40 ,there were also compositions to be written4 ,the subjects assigned for these monthly tests of literary ability were as artificial as those for debate4 ,the object of the teacher in our early schools seems to have been the selection of topics for essays as far removed from anything usual or commonplace as possible4 ,one can very easily imagine what would be the style of an essay on the topic1 8,it is the high prerogative of the heroic soul to propagate its own likeness40 ,lucy managed to get a little humor into the discussion of the question1--8,was the building of ,bunker ,hill ,monument a wise expenditure of funds80 ,she argued3 8,is there a use in monuments8 ,perhaps not1 literally4 ,we have heard of no process by which ,bunker ,hill ,monument might be converted into a lodging-house1 and though we are aware that our thrifty brethren of ,yankee-land have made it yield its quota of dollars and cents1 so that any aspirant may step into a basket and be swung to the pinnacle of a nation's glory for ninepence1 we are not in the habit of considering this its sole productive principle1 unless gratitude and patriotism are omitted40 ,miss ,larcom remained at ,monticello ,seminary until her graduation in ,june1 #aheb4 ,miss ,fobes says3 8,when she left the institution1 with her diploma1 and the benediction of her ,alma ,mater1 we felt sure that1 with her noble equipment for service1 the result should be success in whatever field she should find her work40 ,her improvement had been so great that it was noticeable to the members of the family1 who referred to her as 8our learned sister40 ,,to ,,mrs4 ,,abby ,o4 ,,haskell4 ,,monticello ,,seminary1 ,may #adth1 #ahej4 444 ,but pray don't call me your 8learned sister0 any more2 for if ,i deserved the title1 it would make me feel like a something on a pedestal1 and not plain ,lucy ,larcom3 the sister of some half-dozen worthy matrons4 ,i think it must be a mistake about my having improved so very much2 though ,i should be sorry to have lived all these years and made no advancement4 ,folks tell me that ,i am dignified1 sometimes1 but ,i don't know what it means4 ,i have never tried to be1 and ,i seem just as natural to myself as anything4 ,i don't know how ,i could ever get along with all your cares4 ,i should like tending the babies well enough1 but when it came to washing1 baking1 brewing1 and mending1 my patience would take 8,french leave40 ,still ,i don't believe that any married woman's trials are much worse than a 8schoolma'am's40444 ,there was an event in her life in the ,west to be touched on4 ,it relates to her one serious love affair4 ,a deep attachment sprang up between ,lucy and a young man who had accompanied her sister's family to ,illinois1 and for a time lived with them during their log-cabin experiences1 but afterwards went to ,california4 ,when he left1 though they could hardly be called engaged1 there was an understanding between them that1 when he returned during the last days of her school life1 they were to decide the matter finally4 ,after three years of separation1 they were no nearer a conclusion4 ,some years after this1 it became clear to ,miss ,larcom that their marriage would not be for the best interests of either4 ,in #aheb1 her thoughts turned again to her native town of ,beverly4 ,equipped with her ,monticello education1 she felt prepared to support herself by teaching in her congenial home in the ,east4 ,the memories of her childhood drew her back in thought to her old home4 ,she wrote to her brother ,benjamin in ,march1 8,the almanac says ,i am twenty-eight years old1 but really1 ,ben1 ,i do believe it fibs1 for ,i don't feel half so old4 ,it seems only the other day that ,lydia and ,i were sitting by the big kitchen fireplace1 down the lane1 and you opposite us1 puffing cigar-smoke into our hair1 and singing1 #8,my name is ,apollyon4'0 ,to her sister ,lydia1 whose birthday was on the same day of the month as her own1 she sent some verses recalling her childhood4 8,in childhood we looked gayly out1 ,to see this blustering dawn begin ,and hailed the wind whose noisy shout ,our mutual birthday ushered in4 8,for cakes1 beneath our pillow rolled1 ,we laughing searched1 and wondered1 too1 ,how mother had so well foretold ,what fairy people meant to do40 ,,chapter ,,iii4 ,,life ,,at ,,norton4 #ahec-ahei4 ,in the autumn of #ahec1 ,miss ,larcom1 having returned to ,beverly1 lived for a year with her sister1 ,mrs4 ,baker1 in the pretty old-fashioned house on ,cabot ,street4 ,securing a few rooms in an unoccupied house not far away1 she fitted them up as schoolroom and studio4 ,here she taught a little school with ten scholars4 ,most of these young girls were as far advanced as the second class at ,monticello1 and having already been instructed in the fundamental studies1 they were not so difficult to teach as her untrained pupils in the ,west4 ,the impression she made upon each of these young lives was strong1 for1 as a little family1 she not only taught them the lessons1 but gave them generously from her enthusiasm and faith4 ,she imparted to them her love for all things true and beautiful4 ,when the school year closed1 she asked each girl to choose her favorite flower1 upon which she wrote a few lines of verse1--on the hyacinth1 signifying jealousy1--on the lily of the valley1 meaning innocence4 8,the fragrance ,sarah would inhale ,is the lily of the vale3 #8,humility1' it whispers low2 ,ah6 let that gentle breathing flow ,deep within1 and then will you ,be a lily of the valley too40 ,one of these pupils wrote to her years after3 8,among the teachers of my girlhood1 you are the one who stands out as my model of womanhood40 ,while teaching1 she still considered herself a scholar4 ,nor did she ever in after life overcome this feeling1 for she was always eager to learn4 ,when she was imparting her best instruction1 and writing her most noteworthy books1 she studied with great fidelity4 ,at this time she took lessons in ,french and drawing2 her love for color and form was always great4 ,often she had attempted in crude ways to preserve the spirit of a landscape1 and so reproduce the color of the green ferns and variegated flowers2 but now she set about the task in earnest4 ,she had no special talent for painting1 so she did nothing worthy of special notice1 but some water-color sketches of autumn leaves1 the golden-rod's 8rooted sunshine10 woodland violets1 and the coral of the barberry1 and apple-blossoms1 8flakes of fragrance drifting everywhere10 are very pretty4 ,this study of painting1 however1 trained her observation1 and prepared her to appreciate works of art by giving her some knowledge of the use of the palette4 ,this early attempt at artist's work strengthened her love for pictures2 and it was a special treat to her to visit the different galleries in ,boston1 where she was sure to be one of the first to see a celebrated painting4 ,it was a pleasure to her to be once more with her family1 for the members of which she had the deepest affection4 ,writing to ,miss ,fobes1 she expressed herself thus3 8,i am glad ,i came home1 for ,i never realized before what a treasure my family circle was1 nor how much ,i loved them4 ,then why do ,i not wish to stay8 ,simply because it does not seem to me that ,i can here develop the utmost that is in me4 ,ought ,i to be contented while that feeling remains80 ,the feeling that she must develop 8the utmost that is in me10 impelled her through life1 as a duty that she must regard4 ,she was not without opportunities for cultivation in ,beverly4 ,there were the two weekly ,lyceum lectures1 with good speakers--,miss ,lucy ,stone had advocated woman's rights so ably that 8even in this conservative town many became converts40 ,however1 she longed for a larger work1 and was ready to accept the call to be a teacher in ,wheaton ,seminary1 ,norton1 ,massachusetts4 ,in the early winter of #ahed1 she began her work at ,wheaton ,seminary1 the large school for girls1 founded through the generosity of ,judge ,wheaton1 in memory of his daughter4 ,the subjects given her to teach were history1 moral philosophy1 literature1 and rhetoric1 including the duty of overlooking the greater part of the compositions4 ,her spirit on entering upon this new work1 is indicated by this letter3-- ,,to ,,miss ,p4 ,,fobes4 ,,wheaton ,,seminary1 ,,norton1 ,,mass41 ,january #aj1 #ahee4 ,,dear ,,miss ,,fobes3--,when ,i look back upon my life ,i think ,i see it divided into epochs similar to geological ages1 when1 by slow or sudden upheavings1 ,i have found myself the wondering possessor of a new life in a new world4 ,my years at ,monticello formed such an epoch1 and it is no flattery to say that to you ,i owe much of the richness and beauty of the landscape over which ,i now exult4 ,for your teaching gave me intellectually a broader scope and firmer footing than ,i ever had ventured upon4 ,i know that ,i have done almost nothing as yet to show that ,i have received so much good4 ,life here seems to me not much more than 8a getting ready to do40 ,but in the consciousness of what it is to be a human being1 created in the image of the divine1--in the gradual developing of new inner powers like unfolding wings1--in the joy of entering into the secrets of beauty in ,god's universe1--in the hopefulness of constant struggling and aspiring1 ,i am rich4 ,i have been in this place only a few weeks and suppose the length of my stay will depend upon the satisfaction ,i give and receive4 ,it is a pleasant school4 ,yours truly1 ,,lucy ,,larcom4 ,the length of her stay in ,norton extended over eight important years of her life1 from #ahed to #ahfb4 ,these years were full of intellectual and religious struggles1 of hard student life1 of sweet companionships1 of the beginnings of literary success1 and of deep friendships4 ,earnestness and sincerity here became her characteristic traits2 while her gentleness and patience1 though sorely tried at times by the misconduct or failure of her scholars1 became habitual with her4 ,one cannot think of the quiet life she led under the ,norton elms1 without picturing the tall graceful woman with her sweet face1 low broad forehead1 and soft blue eyes1 moving about among the girls as a continual inspiration1 always leading them by her presence and words into some region of sentiment1 or beauty1 or religion4 ,in the schoolroom1 ever dignified1 she spoke in a low voice with the emphasis of real interest4 ,in her own room1 with its green carpet and white curtains1 where she liked to retire for thought and work1 surrounded by her books1 a few pictures1 and shells and pressed sea-weed1 she would prepare her lectures1 and write her letters to her friends4 ,there were sure to be flowers on her table1 sent either by some loving scholar1 or plucked by her own hand1--8,i have some pretty things in my room2 and flowers1 so alive6 ,as ,i look into their deep cups1 ,i am filled with the harmonies of color and form4 ,how warm a bright rose-pink carnation makes the room on a wintry day60 ,a scholar tells how1 venturing into this retreat1 she saw ,miss ,larcom quietly sitting in a rocking-chair1 knitting stockings for the soldiers1 during the ,war4 ,she was a conscientious student in preparing her lessons2 she read the best books she could find in the school library1 or could borrow from her friends4 ,the notes of her lectures show great labor by their exhaustiveness4 ,as a teacher1 some of her power was derived from the clearness with which she presented the theme1 and her picturesque style of expression4 ,she invested the most lifeless topics with interest by the use of original and appropriate illustrations1--as will be seen in the following passage from a lecture on ,anglo-,saxon poetry1 in which she describes the minstrels3-- 8,the minstrels would sing1 and the people would listen2 and if the monks had listened too1 they would sometimes have heard the irregularities of their lives chanted for the derision of the populace4 ,for the bards assumed perfect independence in their choice of themes2 liberty of the lyre seems to have been what liberty of the press is in these days4 ,we can imagine the excitement in some quaint village1 when the harp of one of these strollers was heard2 how men and women would leave their work1 and listen to these ballads4 ,those who have seen the magnetic effect of a hand-organ on village children1 may have some idea of it2 if the organ-grinder were also a famous story-teller1 the effect would be greater4 ,and this is something like what these ballad singers were to our elder brethren of ,angle-land1 in the childhood of civilization40 ,what excellent advice this is to girls1 on the subject of their compositions1--8,get rid1 if you can1 of that formal idea of a composition to write1 that stalks like a ghost through your holiday hours4 ,interest yourself in something1 and just say your simple say about it4 ,one mistake with beginners in writing is1 that they think it important to spin out something long4 ,it is a great deal better not to write more than a page or two1 unless you have something to say1 and can write it correctly40 ,the recitations in her class-room were of an unconventional character4 ,dealing with topics in the largest and most interesting way1 she often used up the time in discussion1 so that the girls who did not know their lessons sometimes took advantage of this peculiarity by asking questions1 for the sole purpose of needlessly prolonging her explanation4 ,it was often a joke among the scholars that she did not know where the lesson was2 but so soon as she found the place1 she made clear the portion assigned1 and brought all her knowledge to bear so fully on the subject1 that the scholars caught glimpses of unexplored fields of thought1 which were made to contribute something to illustrate the theme in hand4 ,she did more for the girls than by simply teaching them in the class-room4 ,she enlarged their intellectual life by founding a paper1 called 8,the ,rushlight10 by which they not only gained confidence1 but centralized the literary ability of the school4 ,she explained the origin of the paper thus3 8,i said to myself1 as ,i glanced over the bright things from the pile of compositions that rose before me semi-weekly1 #8,why cannot we have a paper8' ,i said it to the girls1 and to the teachers also1 and everybody was pleased with the idea40 ,she also founded the ,psyche ,literary ,society1 to stimulate the girls' studies in literature and art4 ,another element in her power as a teacher was her personal interest in the girls4 ,it was not solely an intellectual or literary interest1 but she thought of their characters and religious training4 ,to one of the girls she wrote1 8,i never felt it an interruption for you to come into my room2 how we used to talk about everything60 ,when they were in trouble1 they came naturally to her with their confidences4 ,she was sometimes called 8,mother ,larcom10 and she earned the title1 for she acted like a mother to the homesick girl1 and quieted by her gentle persuasiveness the tears of repentance1 or bitter weeping of sorrow1 of some of the more unfortunate of her pupils4 ,writing about one of the girls whose religious development she had watched1 she said1 8,she is unfolding from the heart to ,god most openly1 now4 ,i am sure there is a deep life opening in her4 ,i have rejoiced over her40 ,she discovered1 through their moods--as in the case of one who was crying a great deal--or by the frequency of a permitted correspondence1 their real or fancied love-affairs4 ,after winning their confidence she could wisely advise them4 ,thus in one instance she wrote3 8,if such intimacy is true friendship1 it will be a benefit to both2 yet it is not without danger4 ,i have seen the severest sufferings from the struggle between duty and feeling in such relations4 ,i have seen life embittered by reason of the liberty allowed to a cousinly love1 left unwatched4 ,it is hard to keep the affections right in quantity and quality4 ,but ,i need not say that a true love needs no limits2 it is only falsehood that embitters every sweet and pure cup40 ,when the girls left school1 they carried her love with them2 and by correspondence and visits to their homes1 where she was always a welcome guest1 she followed them through the deepest experiences of their lives4 ,one of her scholars said1 8,if ,i were to sum up the strong impression she made upon me1 ,i should say it all in #8,i loved her4'0 ,another wrote1 8,miss ,larcom was to me a peerless star1 unattainable in the excellence and purity of her character4 ,she stood as the ideal woman1 whom ,i wished to be like40 ,when death invaded a home1 she knew how to write3-- ,,norton1 ,october #g1 #ahee4 444 ,why is it we dread the brief parting of death so much8 ,do we really doubt meeting them again8 ,will they have lost themselves in the great crowd of immortals1 so that when our time comes to follow them we cannot find them8 ,i am just reading for the first time1 8,in ,memoriam10 and it fills my mind with these questions4 ,i think ,i should be homesick in a mansion filled with angels1 if my own precious friends whom ,i loved were not within call4444 ,the following letter shows her intimacy with the girls3-- ,,to ,,miss ,,susan ,,hayes ,,ward4 ,,norton1 ,april #b1 #ahee4 ,,my ,,dear ,,susie1--,i find it almost impossible to feel at home in a boarding-school2 and then ,i know ,i never was made for a teacher1--a schoolmistress ,i mean4 ,still1 among so many1 one feels an inspiration in trying to do what is to be done1 though the feeling that others would do it better is a drawback4 ,and then1 at such a place1 ,i always find somebody to remember forever4 ,for that ,i am thankful for my winter's experience4 ,there are buds opening in the great human garden1 which are not to be found at our own hearthstone3 and it is a blessed task to watch them unfolding1 and shield them from blight4 ,and yet what can one mortal do for another8 ,there is no such thing as helping1 or blessing1 except by becoming a medium for the divine light1 and that is blessedness in itself4 ,it seems to me that to be a ,christian is just to look up to ,god1 and be blessed by his love1 and then move through the world quietly1 radiating as we go4444 ,the development of her own religious life was marked by many radical changes4 ,she was no longer satisfied by the theology in which she had been reared4 ,she sought new foundations for her belief4 ,her classes in philosophy led her into the world of controversy4 ,plato was constantly by her side1 and she refreshed herself by reading ,coleridge's 8,aids to ,reflection10 from which she gained more nutriment than from any other religious book1 except the ,bible4 ,swedenborg taught her that 8to grow old in heaven is to grow young40 ,sears's 8,foregleams and ,foreshadows0 made her feel the joy of living1 as presented in the chapter on 8,home40 ,she also read 8,tauler's ,sermons10 and ,hare's 8,mission of the ,comforter40 ,interwoven with her religious thought were the life and influence of one of the dearest friends she ever knew1 ,miss ,esther ,s4 ,humiston of ,waterbury1 ,connecticut1 a woman of rare powers1 and wonderful sweetness of character4 ,the two women were not unlike4 ,they had the same spiritual longings1 similar views of life1 and equal intellectual attainments4 ,miss ,larcom looked up to ,esther for guidance1 and such was the perfect accord between them1 that she wrote to her fully about her deepest thoughts1 and most sacred experiences4 ,in the spring of #aheh1 she wrote thus to ,esther3--8,you do not realize how very unorthodox ,i am4 ,i do not think a bond of church-membership ought to be based upon intellectual belief at all1 but that it should simply be a union in the divine love and life4 ,now ,i do not formally belong to any particular church1--that is1 ,i have a letter from a little ,congregational church on the prairies1 which ,i have never used1 and ,i know not how1 honestly ,i can4 ,for should ,i not be required virtually to say ,i believe certain things8 ,i believe the ,bible1 but not just as any church ,i know explains it1 and so ,i think ,i must keep aloof until ,i can find some band1 united simply as ,christian1 without any #8ism' attached4 ,we all do belong to ,christ's ,church who love ,him1 so ,i do not feel lost or a wanderer1 even though ,i cannot externally satisfy others40 ,,to ,,esther ,s4 ,,humiston4 ,,beverly1 ,,mass41 ,august #b;d1 #aheh4 444 ,i regard ,christianity as having to do with the heart and life1 and not with the opinions2 and my own opinions are not definite on many points4 ,the disputed doctrines of total depravity1 predestination1 etc41 with some of those distinctly called 8evangelical10 such as the atonement1 and the duration of suffering after death1 ,i find more and more difficulty in thinking about2 so that ,i cannot yet say what 8views0 ,i 8hold40 ,there1--will you be my 8sister confessor08 ,as ,i see things now1 the 8atonement0 is to me1 literally1 the 8at-one-ment10--our fallen natures lifted from the earthly by redeeming love1 and brought into harmony with ,god2 ,jesus1 the ,mediator1 is doing it now1 in every heart that receives ,him1 and ,i think our faith should look up to ,him as ,he is1 the living ,redeemer1 and not merely back to the dead ,christ1--for 8,he is not dead40 ,then1 as to the future state of those who die unrepentant3 after probing my heart1 ,i find that it utterly refuses to believe that there is any corner in ,god's universe where 8hope never comes40 ,there must be suffering1 anguish1 for those who choose sin1 so long as they choose it2 but can a soul1 made in the image of ,god1 who is ,light1 choose darkness forever8 ,there is but one ,god1 whose is the 8kingdom1 the power1 and the glory1 forever and ever20 is there any depth of darkness1 which this sovereign radiance shall not at last pierce8 ,i know the ,bible testimony1 and it seems to me that the inmost meaning1 even of those fearfully denunciatory passages1 would confirm this truth4 ,now1 you can imagine how these sentiments would be received by an ,orthodox ,church4444 ,,to ,,the ,,same4 ,,norton1 ,september #b1 #ahfj4 444 ,i enjoyed being with my friends4 ,i told you that they were ,universalists1 but theirs is a better-toned piety than that of some ,orthodox friends4 ,still1 there was a want in it1 a something that left me longing2 it was as if they were looking at the sunlit side of a mountain1 and never thought of the shadows which must be beyond4 ,the mystery of life is in its shadows1 and its beauty1 in great part1 too4 ,there isn't shadow enough in ,universalism to make a comprehensible belief for me4 ,and yet ,i believe there is no corner of ,god's universe where ,his love is not brooding1 and seeking to penetrate the darkest abyss4444 ,the question about her marriage was definitely settled while she was at ,norton4 ,she decided1 in the first place1 on general grounds1 that it would be best for her not to marry4 ,there were various reasons for this4 ,she had many premonitions of the breaking down of her health1 which finally came in #ahfb1 when she had to give up teaching2 and owing to some exaggeration of her symptoms--for at times she felt that her mind might give way--she thought it unwise for her to take up the responsibilities of matrimony4 ,in addition to this1 she grew fond of her independence1 and as her ability asserted itself1 she seemed to see before her a career as an authoress1 which she felt it her duty to pursue4 ,special reasons1 of course1 one cannot go into fully1 though there are some features of them that may be mentioned2 to ,esther she stated an abundantly sufficient one1--8,i am almost sure there are chambers in my heart that he could not unlock40 ,she also differed radically from her lover on the subject of slavery4 ,her feelings as an abolitionist were so strong that she knew where there was such a division of sentiments a household could not be at peace within itself4 ,this difference of opinion concerning all the questions that culminated in the ,civil ,war resulted in a final refusal1 which afterwards found public expression in her noted poem1 8,a ,loyal ,woman's ,no10 an energetic refusal of a loyal woman to a lover who upheld slavery3-- 8,not yours1--because you are not man enough ,to grasp your country's measure of a man1 ,if such as you1 when ,freedom's ways are rough1 ,cannot walk in them1--learn that women can60 ,the poem was not written entirely out of her own experience4 ,in making a confession about it to a friend1 she says1 8,i have had a thousand tremblings about its going into print1 because ,i feel that some others might feel hurt by the part that is not from my own experience4 ,if it is better for the cause1 let me and those old associations be sacrificed40 ,the publication of the poem was justified by the way it was received everywhere4 ,it was quoted in the newspapers all over the ,north4 ,an answer was printed in 8,the ,courier10 called 8,a ,young ,man's ,reply40 ,this interested ,miss ,larcom1 and she referred to it as 8quite satisfactory1 inasmuch as it shows that somebody whom the coat fitted put it on6 ,if it does make unmanly and disloyal men wince1 ,i am glad ,i wrote it40 ,,to ,,esther ,s4 ,,humiston4 ,,norton1 ,june #a1 #aheh4 444 ,i shall probably never marry4 ,i can see reasons why it would be unwise for me2 and yet ,i will freely tell you that ,i believe ,i should have been very happy1 8if it might have been40 ,a true marriage 7the is the word ,i should have used7 is the highest state of earthly happiness1--the flowing of the deepest life of the soul into a kindred soul1 two spirits made one1--to be a double light and blessing to other souls has1 ,i doubt not1 been sometimes1 though seldom1 realized on earth4444 ,this touch of real romance in her life shows that she had a woman's true nature1 and that she did not escape the gentle grasping of the divine passion1 though she shook herself free from it1 deciding that it was better for her to walk alone4 ,some lines of her poem1 8,unwedded10 suggest the reasons for her decision3-- 8,and here is a woman who understood ,herself1 her work1 and ,god's will with her1 ,to gather and scatter ,his sheaves of good1 ,and was meekly thankful1 though men demur4 8,would she have walked more nobly1 think1 ,with a man beside her1 to point the way1 ,hand joining hand in the marriage link8 ,possibly1 ,yes3 it is likelier1 ,nay40 ,,to ,,miss ,,esther ,s4 ,,humiston4 ,,norton1 ,january #ae1 #ahei4 444 ,the books came through the post-office1 with the note separate2 they were brought to me while ,i was having a class recite logic in my room1--the dryest and most distasteful of all subjects to me1 but it is a select class1 and that makes up for the study4 ,the young ladies who compose it are on quite familiar terms with me1 and when the messenger said1 8,three books and two letters for ,miss ,larcom10 their curiosity was greatly excited1 and there was so much sly peeping at corners and picking at strings that they were not1 on the whole1 very logical4 ,they asked to hold them for me till ,i was ready to open them1 and ,i believe in letting 8young ladies0 act like children while they can4444 ,i was thinking how much ,i should enjoy a quiet forenoon writing to you1 when the words1 8,study hour out0--accompanied the clang of the bell1 and a ,babel of voices broke into the hall outside my door4 ,i am trying not to hear--to get back into the quiet places of thought where your letters1 open before me1 were leading me1 but ,i cannot2 there is a jar1 a discord1--and ,i suppose it is selfish in me not to be willing to be thus disturbed4 ,how ,i long for a quiet place to live in6 ,i never found a place still enough yet4 ,but all kinds of natural sounds1 as winds1 waters1 and even the crying of a baby1 if not too loud and protracted1 are not noises to me4 ,is it right to feel the sound of human voices a great annoyance8 ,one who loved everybody would always enjoy the 8music of speech10 ,i suppose1 and would find music where ,i hear only discord4 ,,to ,,the ,,same4 ,sabbath evening4 444 ,i read in school yesterday morning1 something from the 8,sympathy of ,christ40 ,we have had some very naughty girls here1 and have had to think of expulsion2 but one of them ran away1 and so saved us the trouble4 ,how hard it is to judge the erring rightly--,christianly4 ,i am always inclined to be too severe1 for the sake of the rest2 one corrupt heart that loves to roll its corruption about does so much evil4 ,i do not think that a school like this is the place for evil natures--the family is the place1 it seems to me1 or even something more solitary4 ,and yet there have been such reforms here1 that sometimes ,i am in doubt4 ,when there is a ,christian1 sympathizing heart to take the erring home1 and care for her as a mother would1 that is well4 ,but we are all so busy here1 with the everythings4 ,i am convinced that ,i have too much head-employment altogether2 ,i get hardly breathing time for heart and home life4444 ,in #ahed1 ,miss ,larcom published her first book1--8,similitudes from the ,ocean and the ,prairie40 ,it was a little volume of not more than one hundred pages1 containing brief prose parables drawn from nature1 with the purpose of illustrating some moral truth4 ,the titles of the ,similitudes suggest their meaning3 8,the ,song before the ,storm20 8,the ,veiled ,star20 8,the ,wasted ,flower20 and 8,the ,lost ,gem40 ,though the conception was somewhat crude1 yet her desire to find in all things a message of a higher life and a greater beauty1 showed the serious beginnings of the poet's insight1 which in after years was to reveal to her so many hidden truths4 ,she characterized the book as 8a very immature affair1 often entirely childish40 ,her first distinct literary success was the writing of the ,kansas ,prize ,song1 in #ahee4 ,when ,kansas was being settled1 the ,new ,england ,emigrant ,aid ,company offered a prize of fifty dollars for the best song1 written with the object of inspiring in the emigrants the sentiments of freedom4 ,the power of a popular melody was to be used in maintaining a free soil4 ,she gained this prize2 and her stirring words were sung all through the ,west4 ,they were printed1 with the appropriate music of ,mr4 ,e4 ,norman1 on cotton handkerchiefs1 which were given away by the thousand4 8,yeomen strong1 hither throng1 ,nature's honest men2 ,we will make the wilderness ,bud and bloom again2 ,bring the sickle1 speed the plough1 ,turn the ready soil2 ,freedom is the noblest pay ,for a true man's toil4 8,ho1 brothers6 come1 brothers6 ,hasten all with me2 ,we'll sing upon the ,kansas plains ,a song of liberty40 ,her next little book1 8,lottie's ,thought-book10 was published by the ,american ,sunday ,school ,union1 ,philadelphia1 in #aheh4 ,not unlike the ,similitudes in its method of teaching by parables1 it gave the thoughts of a clever child1 as they would be suggested by such scenes as a beautiful spring morning in the country1 8when glad thoughts praise ,god20 the first snow1 typifying the purity of the earth2 or the thought of the joy of living1 in the chapter 8,glad to be alive0 that recalls an exclamation she uses in one of her letters1 8,oh6 how happy ,i am1 that ,i did not die in childhood60 ,these little books are like the inner biography of her youth1 a pure crystal stream of love1 reflecting the sunlight in every ripple and eddy4 ,she also wrote for various magazines1 notably 8,the ,crayon10 in which appeared some criticisms of poetry1 especially ,miss ,muloch's1 and some of her poems1 like 8,chriemhild10 a legend of ,norse romance4 ,the only payment she received was the subscription to the magazine4 ,her famous poem1 8,hannah ,binding ,shoes10 was first printed in the 8,knickerbocker10 without her knowledge1--then a few months later1 in 8,the ,crayon40 ,this fact gave rise to the accusation of plagiarism which1 though it greatly annoyed her1 brought her poem into general notice4 ,having sent the poem to the 8,knickerbocker10 but not receiving any answer about its acceptance1 she concluded that it had been rejected4 ,she then sent it to 8,the ,crayon10 where it appeared1 but in the mean time it had been printed in the 8,knickerbocker40 ,the editor of the last-named paper wrote a letter to the 8,new ,york ,tribune10 in which he accused ,lucy ,larcom of being 8a literary thiefess10 and claimed the 8stolen goods40 ,in answer to this1 ,miss ,larcom wrote immediately a reply to the 8,tribune40 ,,norton4 ,,mass41 ,february #ac1 #aheh4 ,,to ,,the ,,editor ,,of ,,the ,,new ,,york ,,tribune3 ,,sir1--,will you please say to 8,old ,nick0 that he does not tell the truth4 ,his statements regarding me1 in your paper1 ,february #aj1 are not correct4 ,lucy ,larcom is not a 8literary thiefess20 8,hannah ,binding ,shoes0 was not written 8five or six years10 but about four years since4 ,i have only to blush that ,i wrote it1 and that ,i sent it to the editor of the 8,knickerbocker40 ,the latter was done at a time when it seemed desirable for me to attempt writing for pecuniary profit1--a very ridiculous idea1 of course1--and ,i enclosed the poem in a letter1 intimating such a desire to that gentleman1 and supposing that courtesy would suggest that the letter should be answered1 or the poem returned4 ,as neither of these things was done1 ,i innocently considered it my own property1 and sent it to 8,the ,crayon10 as an original composition4 ,i hereby reclaim from 8,old ,nick10 my 8stolen goods10 which he has inadvertently advertised4 ,yours truly1 ,,lucy ,,larcom4 ,she wrote rather a severe letter to the 8most honorable ,old ,nick0 himself1 in which she says1 8,in my ignorance1 ,i supposed that editors were as polite as other people1 in such matters as answering letters1 and acknowledging even small favors4 ,i am sure ,i never would have sent you a poem1 if ,i had supposed you would one day have accused me of stealing it1 and ,i hereby promise with sincere penitence1 never to do so again4 ,i suppose ,i can hardly look for the courtesy of an explanation as public as your accusation has been40 ,she also wrote an explanation to ,mr4 ,john ,durand1 the editor of 8,the ,crayon40 ,,to ,,john ,,durand4 ,,norton1 ,february #ab1 #aheh4 ,,dear ,,mr4 ,,durand1--8,hannah ,binding ,shoes0 ,i may truly say is 8a poor thing1 sir1 but mine own40 ,i should hardly have supposed that the identity of so humble an individual would be thought worth calling in question4 ,the poem was written four years since1 and was sent to the editor of the 8,knickerbocker0 in my own name1 but as ,i received no acknowledgment from him1 and have never seen a copy of the paper since1 ,i supposed it either failed to reach him1 or was not accepted4 ,was ,i not justifiable in sending it to you8 ,i had no idea that it had been published before4 ,yours truly1 ,,lucy ,,larcom4 8,hannah ,binding ,shoes0 was set to music1 and became very popular4 ,rev4 ,samuel ,longfellow wrote her1 8,i wish you could have heard1 as ,i did the other evening1 #8,hannah' sung by ,adelaide ,phillips40 ,together with its sequel1 8,skipper ,ben10 it recalled an incident very common in a ,new ,england sea-town1 where ships were lost and lovers never returned1 where every home had in it hearts that beat for those out at sea1 and where women stood on the shore and strained their eyes looking for a sail4 ,in these verses1 as in all her poetry of the sea1 she has caught the dirge in the wind1 and the lonesome sound of beating waves when the skipper 8faced his fate in a furious night40 ,in #ahei ,miss ,larcom tried1 at the suggestion of many friends1 to find a publisher for a volume of verses1 but she was unsuccessful4 ,a letter from ,mr4 ,whittier accompanying the manuscript did not win ,ticknor and ,fields to her side4 ,she took a very sensible view of her discomfiture4 ,,to ,,john ,,durand4 ,,norton1 ,october #bi1 #ahfj4 444 ,i should have regarded the thought of publishing as premature2 but most of my friends are not artistic1 and do not look upon my unripe fruits as ,i do4 ,what ,i have written is at least genuine1 sincere4 ,i believe it is in me to do better things than ,i have done1 and ,i shall work on in the faith of leaving something that will find its true place in the right time1 because of the life there is in it4 ,to live out1 to express in some way the best there is in us1 seems to me to be about all of life4444 ,after ,miss ,larcom's return from the ,west1 the friendship with the ,whittiers ripened and became a factor in her life4 ,the gentle sweetness of the poet's sister ,elizabeth soon won its way to her heart1 and the strength of the man greatly impressed her4 ,they grew very fond of her1 and took an interest in her literary work4 ,the attachment that ,elizabeth formed for her was based on a most genuine love4 ,in one of her letters she wrote1 8,dear1 dear ,lucy1--,let me thank thee for all thy love4 ,i can never tell thee how sweet it has been to me4 ,i could have cried to think of thy loving care for me40 ,again3--8,i wish ,i could see thee oftener4 ,i need thee4 ,i feel a little more rest with thee than with most4 ,thou hast done me good since ,i first knew thee40 ,the two lives mingled and blended in the contact of companionship1 for refinement of feeling1 delicacy of thought1 and strength of moral purpose1 were characteristic of both4 ,mr4 ,whittier found her companionable1 and admired her sincerity and poetical ability1 which he recognized very early4 ,it was one of ,miss ,larcom's greatest pleasures1 while at ,norton1 to run off and spend a few days at ,amesbury in the household that she loved4 ,what ,mr4 ,whittier said1 she knew to be true1--8,thee will always find the latchstring out20 and when away1 she knew she was remembered1 for ,elizabeth sent her word that 8,greenleaf has just filled thy blue and gold vase with the yellowest of flowers40 ,here is a letter to her1 from ,mr4 ,whittier1 as early as #ahec4 ,september #c1 #ahec4 ,,my ,,dear ,,friend1--,i thank thee for thy note4 ,the personal allusion would be flattering enough1 did ,i not know that it originated in a sad misconception and overestimate of one who knows himself to be 8no better than he should be40 ,it is a way we have4 ,we are continually investing somebody or other with whatever is best in ourselves4 ,it does not follow that the objects themselves are worth much4 ,the vines of our fancy often drape the ugliest stumps in the whole forest4 ,i am anxious to see thy little book in print4#e ,whatever may be its fate with the public at large1 ,i feel quite sure it will give thee a place in the best minds and hearts4 ,the best kind of fame1 after all4 ,thy friend1 ,j4 ,g4 ,,whittier4 ,at ,mr4 ,whittier's suggestion1 she used to submit her work to him for criticism2 and he always indicated what he considered faulty1 in rhyme or metre4 ,this practical training in the art of verse-making was valuable to her4 ,she continued it for many years until she felt that she ought to be more self-reliant4 ,then she printed without consulting him1 and1 at first1 he reproved her for it4 8,but10 she said1 8you have taught me all that ,i ought to ask3 why should ,i remain a burden on you8 ,why should ,i always write with you holding my hand8 ,my conscience and my pride rebel4 ,i will be myself1 faults and all40 ,in #ahee1 he wrote1 8,i have said in my heart1 ,i wonder if ,lucy ,larcom will write to me1 as she proposed8 ,i should love to have her40 ,their correspondence continued until the time of his death4 ,,chapter ,,iv4 ,,reflections ,,of ,a ,,teacher4 ,it was not ,miss ,larcom's regular habit to keep a diary1 but at certain times she recorded her thoughts in private note-books4 ,her object in doing this was to cultivate clearness of expression by frequently writing1 and to give definiteness to her ideas by putting them down in black and white1 thus preserving them1 either for immediate use as material for letters to her friends1 or for her own inspection years afterwards4 ,long intervals of time elapsed between the periods when she wrote in her diaries2 so they have not the value of a continuous life-history1 but are interesting as records of phases of her thought which often reflect vividly the conditions in which she lived4 ,the following extracts from her diary have been made with the purpose of showing how she was influenced by the circumstances of her life1 and how deeply she entered into the spirit of her intellectual and political surroundings4 ,norton1 ,may #d1 #ahfj4 ,our talk has been of the mystics again to-day4 ,with all the vagaries into which some of them wandered1 ,i cannot help feeling that these men had more of the truth than any of those more strictly styled philosophers4 ,cousin has a cool1 patronizing way with all systems that rather amuses me at times4 ,what he says of the relation of philosophy to religion seems very conceited3 that1 while they have been separated1 philosophy must now take religion by the hand1 and gently guide her steps to the light4 ,the history of philosophy would rather show that he was making a guide of the one who needed to be led6 ,certainly it must be so1 if ,god is wiser than man4 ,may #ba4 ,out of door studies1 these past days1 among goldfinches1 orioles1 larks1 brown thrushes1 and all the singing brotherhood2 and a course of lectures on natural history1 to help out the classifying and naming4 ,better living than among philosophers4 ,june #ac4 ,these weeks that have been spent over a discussion of ,eastern and ,western mythologies1 have allowed little time for reading or thinking of anything else4 ,i have learned to value the thoughts of thinkers1 and to perceive the difference between them and pleasant surface-writers4 ,i expected to gain much from ,mrs4 ,child's 8,history of ,religious ,ideas10 and ,i have found it full of entertaining and instructive facts1 told in a very kind and impartial way2 but hers is not the philosophic depth of ,carlyle1 nor the broad and deep spiritual insight of ,maurice1--the latter always pours light into the windows of my soul1 and makes truth seem all near and clear4 ,mrs4 ,c4's work is still a most valuable one1 because it makes so much comprehensible that had been shut up for the general reader1 and such a spirit as hers makes everything that she writes good to read4 ,this reading and writing have impressed me more fully than ever before with the certainty that truth is one1 radiating from one source through all manner of mediums1 colored and distorted by all sorts of error2 yet wherever a good word has been spoken1 there is the voice of ,god1 whether the speaker were ,christian or ,pagan4 ,june #bj4 ,after reading the addresses at the ,music ,hall1 in memory of ,theodore ,parker1 and what is said of him in the religious papers1 it seems to me a great relief that there is a perfect ,judge of human character and human life above4 ,neither friends nor foes could know this man truly2 his works will follow him1 right or wrong1 for he wrote himself in innumerable hearts1 with all the energy of confidence in his own views4 ,i did not like the tone of his preaching and lecturing1--it seemed to me often dogmatic1 and abusive of other beliefs2 certainly never very patient with what he did not like4 ,yet the noble impulses he communicated1 the perfect freedom of thought which he advised1 cannot be without their good results4 ,the fire will try his work1 as it does and will that of all human workers1 to prove of what sort it is4 ,august #ab1 ,gardiner1 ,maine4 ,now in the seclusion of this little bird's nest in the woods1 ,i feel easy and free1 like the winds that sweep through pine and hemlock1 and the birds that go singing or silent from the glen to the orchard4 ,heartsease grows here1 best of all blossoms2 ,i surely did not bring it with me1 for ,i was very uneasy at home4 ,august #ad4 ,leisure1--is it anything to be thankful for1 or not8 ,i never do what ,i mean to do1 nor so much1 as when ,i think my time all occupied4 ,this vacation is almost gone1 and not one of the achievements ,i had planned1 in the way of writing1 is executed4 ,it is something to rest1 but not so much1 if one feels that it is not exactly right or necessary to rest6 ,august #ah4 ,the prospect of a journey to the mountains to-day4 ,there is a thick fog from the river1 but the birds are singing through it4 ,i can scarcely let the summer go without giving me a glimpse of the mountains4 ,august #bb4 ,returned last night after a very pleasant visit of three days4 ,it rained on the way1 but it was only the cooler and more comfortable traveling for that2 and when the sun came out in the west just as we reached the top of a ridge from which the whole long mountain chain was visible on the horizon1 ,i felt that that one view was enough compensation for going1 and that first glimpse ,i shall never forget4 ,the round summit of ,blue1 and the bolder ridges of ,saddle-back and ,abraham1 lifted themselves above the lower elevations that would be mountains anywhere but among mountains1 far off and solemn with the deepening purple of sunset1 and over them the sky hung1 fiery gold1 intermingled with shadow4 ,the first glimpse was finer than anything afterward1 though ,i rode up the lovely valley of the ,sandy ,river1 which is like a paradise1 if not one1 recalling ever the old words of the hymn3-- 8,sweet fields arrayed in living green1 ,and rivers of delight40 ,what can be more beautiful than green meadow-lands1 bordered by forest-covered slopes1 that ever rise and rise1 till they fade into dim blue mountain-distances8 ,i climbed one mountain half-way1--the bluest of the blue1--and so called1 by emphasis1 ,mount ,blue4 ,it was a grand view1--the great distant mountain wall1 and the valleys slumbering safe in its shadow4 ,yet the distant view is always more impressive1 more full of suggestions for me2 and coming back to the first point of observation1 ,i hoped for a repetition of the first delight4 ,but the far-off ridges were closely veiled with mist and rain1 and a thunder-shower swept toward us from them1 across the wide valley4 ,yet as we turned to leave1 ,mount ,blue just lifted off his mist-cap for a few minutes1 as if to say good-by6 ,altogether1 it is a most charming and comforting picture for future remembrance3 flowery mountain-slopes1 little garden patches of golden-rod1 white everlasting and purple willow-herb1 under the shade of maples1 and firs1 and graceful hemlocks2 and glimpses of cottagers' homes on hillsides and by running streams4 ,my eyes are rested1 and my heart is glad4 ,august #bd4 ,beverly4 ,the sail down the ,kennebec ,river was delightful1 and ,i took a wicked sort of pleasure in shutting myself up from the crowd and enjoying it6 ,august #bf4 ,sabbath day memories and regrets--how unlike everything else they are6 ,one thing to be grateful for1 in a ,puritan training1 is that it makes one day in the week a thoughtful one1 at least4 ,the old customs we may not keep up1--may even regard them as foolish1--still1 there is a questioning as to right and wrong on this day1 which we must be hardened to get wholly rid of4 ,if ,i have lived unworthily for a week1 the ,sabbath quietly shows me myself in her mirror4 ,lately ,i have heard some discussion as to the name and manner of keeping the day4 8,the ,sabbath10 they say1 8was a ,jewish institution1 not a ,christian festival1 such as we should keep40 ,but ,i believe that rest is still the noblest idea of the day2 the old ,sabbath was a type of ,christian rest2 not constrained1 but free1 full1 peaceful2 so ,i like not anything that disturbs the quiet of the day4 ,september #ag4 ,whether such a record as this is a useful thing1 or entirely useless1 ,i begin to question4 ,i don't want to feel interested in anything which is only to benefit myself1 and ,i don't want to write these trifles for other people's eyes4 ,a journal of the 8subjective0 kind ,i have always thought foolish1 as nurturing a morbid self-consciousness in the writer2 and yet1 alone so much as ,i am1 it is well to have some sort of a ventilator from the interior4 ,letter-writing is a better safety valve than a journal1 when we write to those we can trust1 and this ,i meant to be a sort of prolonged letter1 a mirror of my occupations and progress1 for my old friend1 ,esther4 ,but she1 ,i fear will never read it2 she is on her way to a place of better occupation1 and ,i feel that the first stimulus is gone4 ,shall ,i stop in the middle of my book8 ,no1 ,i believe not2 for ,i think it will be indirectly a useful thing1 and ,i shall write just when ,i feel like it1 often enough to keep track of myself1 and give account of myself to myself4 ,since ,i returned to school ,i have read--well1 not much2 two little works on natural history2 ,i have begun ,ruskin's fifth volume1 with great interest1 and ,trench on the ,parables for my ,sunday class4 8,the ,limits of ,religious ,thought0 ,i am reading with a pupil1 and with it ,maurice's reply1 8,what is ,revelation80 ,my impression of these two writers1 so far1 is that ,maurice is a much more deeply religious man than ,mansel2 and that the latter's logic will not always sustain his footing4 ,i do not like logic in religion1--reason is not always logic2 reason seems to me to be the mind wide open--no faculty numb or asleep2 and to that state of inner being1 truth must come like sunshine1 and the mysteries which cannot be explained will be harmonized with our certain knowledge1 in such light4 ,september #bb4 ,morris's ,poems have come to me to-day1 by mail4 ,i have just glanced through the book1 and find myself attracted by the clearness and simplicity of the songs2 the most beautiful the most familiar1 as songs should be4 ,it does not strike me that any of them came from the very deep places of the heart1--many of them sound as if written only to please1 and as if the highest aim of the author was to have them pretty and unobjectionable4 ,i've written things in that way myself sometimes1 and ,i don't like it4 ,september #bf4 ,i know ,i haven't regarded ministers as others do1 yet it seems to me that there are few 8ministers0 or 8pastors0 nowadays1--real ones1--such as the apostolic times knew4 ,a 8preacher0 does not mean the thing1 for he may preach himself only4 ,i wonder whether the relations between pastor and people can ever be again as they have been8 ,people are becoming their own judges and guides in religious things2 this is a necessity of ,protestantism1 ,i think4 ,and yet my 8liberal0 ,mr4 ,maurice says that the 8right of private judgment0 only makes every man his own pope4 ,the true idea of a church has not yet been shown the world1--a visible ,church1 ,i mean1--unless it was in the very earliest times2 yes1 the twelve disciples bound to their ,lord in love1 to do his work forever1--that was a church1--a ,christian family4 ,but then they had no system of theology to which all were expected to conform2 love was all their theology4 ,and then1 afterwards1 while they took the wisest and best as teachers1 and called no one ,master or ,head but ,christ1 they were a true ,church4 ,i don't believe we can look upon our ministers as the early disciples did upon ,paul and ,john1 unless they have the spirit of ,paul and ,john4 ,the ministry is trifled with too much by ministers themselves1 and it sometimes seems to me as if this was so1 because it is made a business4 ,september #bi4 8,blessed are your eyes1 for they see1 and your ears1 for they hear40 ,this is the blessing of life3 to be in the light and harmony of the love of ,god and reveal it4 ,to 8know the mysteries0 of the kingdom of ,heaven1--what is it1 but to be in ,god's universe with a soul opened1 by love1 to truth2 unto such only 8it is given40 ,yet we have hearing and vision and the spiritual sense1 all of us1 and for the use of each1 or misuse1 or neglect1 and consequent loss1 every one is to blame4 ,oh1 for a heart always opened2 to read all parables in the light in which they were born6 ,november #aj4 ,i have actually forgotten to write for months in this book4 ,i fear me1 8my heart is nae here40 ,i have lived a good deal in the past week1 and the world has been doing a great business1--our country in particular4 ,the ,prince has turned the heads of our democratic people1 and ,republicans have chosen a ,president at last4 ,that is glorious6 ,freedom takes long strides in these better days4 ,the millennium is not so far off as we feared4 ,while there is so much to be lived outside1 who cares for the little self-life of a journal8 ,but ,i never meant it to be a 8subjective0 one1 and when it has been so1 it has been so because ,i was living below my ideal4 ,yet this shall be just the book my thoughts shape from their various moods2 when the thought is for myself1 ,i will write it1 and when it is for another1 ,i will write it too4 8,whose window opened towards the rising sun40 ,so the happy pilgrim rested1 knowing that as soon as there was light anywhere1 he should have the first ray4 ,strange1 that every ,christian sojourner should not seek a room with windows opening to the dawn6 ,some of them seem afraid of the sun2 they choose a chamber having only a black1 northerly outlook1 and lie down saying1 8,what a dreary1 miserable world60 ,and what wonder that they should grow thin and sickly--plants of the shade must ever be so2 the soul1 as well as the body1 needs large draughts of sunshine for vigorous life4 ,november #bg4 ,since ,i came to ,beverly ,i have been looking over 8,wilhelm ,meister0 for the first time4 ,i am disappointed in it1 and have little respect for ,goethe as a man1 great as was his genius4 ,great thoughts he had1 and they shine like constellations through the book2 artistic1 no doubt he was1 but everything that relates to principle or right feeling is terribly chaotic1 it seems to me4 ,and ,wilhelm is an embodiment of high-strung selfishness1 under a cloak of generosity and spontaneous good feeling4 ,if ,i could despise any man1 it would be such a one as he4 ,december #i4 ,god be thanked for the thinkers of good and noble thoughts6 ,it wakes up all the best in ourselves1 to come into close contact with others greater and better in every way than we are4 ,having just made myself the possessor of 8,guesses at ,truth10 ,i feel as if ,i had struck a new mine1 or were a privileged traveler into regions hitherto unknown1 where there is every variety of natural and cultivated growth1 where there are ever recurring contrasts of scenery1 and where even the rocks are not barren1 but glittering with veins of precious ore4 ,how much better these 8thinking books0 are than any 8sensation books0 of any kind1 prose or poetry6 ,they are the true intellectual companions4 ,one does not read them1 and put them by on the shelf1 to be read again one of these days1 perhaps1--but they are wanted close at hand1 and often4 8,no spring nor summer beauty has such grace ,as ,i have seen in an ,autumnal face40 ,the poet ,donne wrote so of the mother of 8holy ,george ,herbert40 ,it is so true6 and ,i have seen the same4 ,it would be worth while to live long1 to suffer much1 to struggle and to endure1 if one might have such spiritual beauty blossom out of furrows and wrinkles as has been made visible in aged human faces4 ,such countenances do not preach1--they are poetry1 and music1 and irresistible eloquence4 ,christmas1 #ahfj4 ,two or three books ,i have read lately4 ,mrs4 ,jameson's 8,legends of the ,madonna0 is full of that fine appreciation of the deepest beauty1 even in the imperfect creations of art1 where the creation had in it the breath of spirit life1 so peculiar to this gifted woman4 ,if ,i were going to travel in ,europe1 ,i should want1 next to a large historical knowledge1 an intimate acquaintance with the writings of ,mrs4 ,jameson1 to appreciate the treasures of medival art4 ,whittier's 8,home ,ballads10 dear for friendship's sake1 though not directly a gift from him1 as were some of the former volumes4 ,i wonder if that is what makes me like the songs in the 8,panorama10--some of them--better than anything in this new volume1 although ,i know that this is more perfect as poetry4 ,i doubt if he will ever write anything that ,i shall like so well as the 8,summer by the ,lakeside10 in that volume3 it is so full of my first acquaintance with the mountains1 and the ripening of my acquaintance with him1 my poet-friend4 ,how many blessings that friendship has brought me6--among them1 a glimpse into a true home1 a realizing of such brotherly and sisterly love as is seldom seen outside of books1--and best of all1 the friendship of dear ,lizzie1 his sole home-flower1 the meek lily blossom that cheers and beautifies his life4 ,heaven spare them long to each other1 and their friendship to me6 ,but the 8,ballads0 are full of beauty and of a strong and steady trust1 which grows more firmly into his character and poetry1 as the years pass over him4 8,my ,psalm10 with its reality1 its earnest depth of feeling1 makes other like poems1 ,longfellow's 8,psalm of ,life10 for instance1 seem weak and affected4 ,i like1 too1 the keenness and kindness of the ,whitefield poem1 in which he has preserved the memory of a ,sabbath evening walk ,i took with him4 ,dr4 ,croswell's poems contain many possibilities of poetry1 and some realities2 but there always seems to me a close air1 as if the church windows were shut1 in reading anything written by a devout ,episcopalian4 ,still1 there was true ,christianity in the man1 and it is also in the book4 ,december #bg4 ,to-night the telegraph reports the evacuation of ,fort ,moultrie by the ,federal troops by order of the ,executive1 and the burning of the fort4 ,there's something of the 8spirit of '#gf0 in the army1 surely2 ,south ,carolina having declared herself a foe to the ,union1 how could those soldiers quietly give up one of the old strongholds to the enemy1 even at the ,president's command8 ,but what will the end be8 ,is this secession-farce to end with a tragedy8 ,the ,south will suffer1 by insurrection and famine2 there is every prospect of it2 the way of transgressors is hard1 and we must expect it to be so4 ,god grant that1 whatever must be the separate or mutual sufferings of ,north and ,south1 these convulsions may prove to be the dying struggles of slavery1 and the birth-throes of liberty4 ,it is just about a year since 8,brown of ,ossawatomie0 was hung in the ,south1 for unwise interference with slavery4 ,he was not wholly a martyr2 there were blood-stains on his hands1 though no murder was in his heart4 ,he was a brave man and a ,christian1 and his blood1 unrighteously shed1 still cries to heaven from the ground4 ,who knows but this is the beginning of the answer8 ,but that judicial murder was not the only wrong for which the slaveholding ,south is now bringing herself before the bar of judgment1 before earth and heaven4 ,the secret things of darkness are coming to light1 and the question will be decided rightly1 ,i firmly believe4 ,and the ,south is to be pitied1 as all hardened and blinded wrong-doers should be6 ,i believe the ,north will show herself a noble foe1 if foe the ,south determines to make her4 ,,chapter ,v4 ,,the ,,beginning ,,of ,,the ,,war4 ,january #bj1 #ahfa4 ,i have run over the birth-histories of the nations of ,europe1 in their chaotic rise from barbarism2 and have just completed a bird's-eye view of ,italian medival history1 with ,koeppen's aid4 ,the present history of ,italy interests me greatly1 and ,i would like to be able to link the present with the past4 ,but what a debatable ground it has always been1 and how unsparingly it has always been made mince-meat of1 by all in authority there6 ,but all that history has revealed shows no more important epoch than the one in which we are living at this moment1 in our unsettled and discordant ,union4 ,i hope it will come out plain and positive1 as a question of right or wrong for every man to decide4 ,it is so already1 yet all will not see4 ,so ,i hope that the demon of slavery1 that 8mystery of iniquity10 will make his evil way evident1 that we may return to no vile compact with sin4 ,february #bh4 ,the bluebirds have come6 and the meadow-lark has sung over in the fields behind the garden1 these two or three mornings4 ,i have dreamed of spring these many nights1 and now it is coming--coming6 ,what a blessing dreams are6 ,i have heard birds sing1 in bluer skies than ,may could show2 doves have alighted on my head2 violets1 such as cannot be matched in any meadows for perfect tints and fragrance1 have blossomed at my feet2 have wept for joy at the sublime beauty of ,alps grander than any real ,alps1--which ,i would yet fain see1 though ,i shall not1 with these eyes1--all this in my winter dreams4 ,through dreams1 we must always believe in a deeper and more perfect beauty than we know4 ,the world is lovely1 but there is a lovelier1 else we could not see what we do in sleep4 ,the glory of living is that life is glorious beyond all our possible imaginations1--the eternal life1--the 8glory that shall be revealed0 in us4 ,march #b4 ,what does cause depression of spirits8 ,heavy head and heavy heart1 and no sufficient reason for either1 that ,i know of4 ,i am out of doors every day1 and have nothing unusual to trouble me2 yet every interval of thought is clouded2 there is no rebound1 no rejoicing as it is my nature to rejoice1 and as all things teach me to do4 ,we are strange phenomena to ourselves1 when we will stop to gaze at ourselves2 but that ,i do not believe in2 there are pleasanter subjects1 and self is a mere speck on the great horizon of life4 ,a new volume of poems by ,t4 ,b4 ,aldrich1 just read1 impresses me especially with its daintiness and studied beauty4 ,there are true flashes of poetry1 but most carefully trimmed and subdued1 so as to shine artistically4 ,i believe the best poetry of our times is growing too artistic2 the study is too visible4 ,if freedom and naturalness are lost out of poetry1 everything worth having is lost4 ,march #c4 ,eternal life and eternal death2 what do these words mean8 ,this is the question that comes up again and again4 ,it has recently been brought up by those whom ,i am appointed to instruct2 and the question with its answer1 brings new and fearful responsibility with every return4 ,i am more and more convinced that the idea of duration is not the one that affects us most3 for here it has proved that those who are least careful about what they are in heart and life1 are trying hardest to convince themselves and others that the 8doctrine of eternal punishment0 is not true4 ,by making themselves believe that to be the all-important question1 they draw off their own and others' attention from the really momentous one1--8,am ,i living the eternal life8 ,is it begun in me now80 ,and now ,i see why ,i have questioned whether it was right in me to express my own doubts of this very doctrine4 ,the final renovation of all souls1 their restoration to life in holiness and love1 is certainly a hope of mine that is not without a strong infusion of confidence2 but ,i dare not say it is a belief2 because both reason and revelation have left it in deep mystery2 and the expression of any such belief does not seem to me likely to help others much2 certainly not those who are indolent or indifferent regarding the true ,christian life4 ,then the 8loss of the soul0 is in plain language spoken of by our ,lord as possible4 ,what can that mean1 but the loss of life in ,him8 the loss of ennobling aspirations1 of the love of all good1 of the power of seeing and seeking truth8 ,and if this is possible to us now1 by our own choice1 why not forever8--since1 as free beings1 our choice must always be in our own power8 ,the truth that we must all keep before us1 in order to be growing better forever1 is that life is love and holiness2 death1 selfishness and sin2 then it is a question of life and death to be grappled with in the deep places of every soul4 ,march #e4 ,i cannot let this birthday pass without a memorial of its sun's rising and setting on flower-gifts from these my girl-friends3 a wreath hung on my door in the morning1 and a bouquet left in my room at night4 ,it brings spring to my spirit earlier than ,i expected2 pleasant it is to receive any token of love2 and gifts like these come so seldom1 that when they do come1 ,i am sure they mean love4 ,and with them comes the assurance of a deeper summer-warmth1--the arousing of all high and holy feelings in the deep places of the soul yet winter-sealed4 8,my shriveled heart0 shall yet 8recover greenness40 ,i could not feel this 8deadly cold0 that sometimes pierces me1 if incapable of warmth4 ,it may not be in an earthly clime that my nature shall blossom out freely and fully into heavenly light2 but the time will come4 ,yesterday was the inauguration3 we have a ,president1 a country3 and we are 8the ,union0 still1 and shall so remain1 our ,president thinks4 ,but ,i doubt whether the pride of slavery will ever bow to simple freedom1 as it must1 if the self-constituted aliens return4 ,there is a strange new chapter in the world's history unfolding to-day2 we have not half read it yet4 ,sabbath1 ,april #ad1 #ahfa4 ,this day broke upon our country in gloom2 for the sounds of war came up to us from the ,south1--war between brethren2 civil war2 well may 8all faces gather blackness40 ,and yet the gloom we feel ought to be the result of sorrow for the erring1 for the violators of national unity1 for those who are in black rebellion against truth1 freedom1 and peace4 ,the rebels have struck the first blow1 and what ruin they are pulling down on their heads may be guessed1 though not yet fully foretold2 but it is plain to see that a dark prospect is before them1 since they have no high principle at the heart of their cause4 ,it will be no pleasure to any ,american to remember that he lived in this revolution1 when brother lifted his hand against brother2 and the fear is1 that we shall forget that we are brethren still1 though some are so unreasonable and wander so far from the true principles of national prosperity4 ,though the clouds of this morning have cleared away into brightness1 it seems as if we could feel the thunder of those deadly echoes passing to and from ,fort ,sumter4 ,but there is a right1 and ,god always defends it4 ,war is not according to ,his wish2 though it seems one of the permitted evils yet4 ,he will scatter those who delight in it1 and it is not too much to hope and expect that ,he will uphold the government which has so long been trying to avert bloodshed4 ,another unpleasant association with this day4 ,i went to the meeting expecting and needing spiritual food1 and received only burning coals and ashes4 ,there was a sermon 7not by our minister1 ,i am glad to say7 to prove that ,satan will be tormented forever and ever2 and the stress of the argument was to prove the endlessness of his punishment4 ,the text was taken from the twentieth of ,revelation1 a chapter which few have the audacity to explain2 but the object was to show that 8eternal10 in its highest sense1 is not so plainly taught in the ,bible1 as 8eternal0 in its lowest sense1 that of duration4 ,truly1 8,the wisdom of men is foolishness with ,god60--the deep and sacred truth of eternal life lies hidden yet in the words of ,christ1 for him who will understand4 ,it seems to me wrong to preach a theoretical sermon like this to those who are hungering for the bread of life2 who are longing to come nearer to the ,saviour1 and receive ,his spirit4 ,i think none but a young minister would have preached so2 certainly1 a warm-hearted ,christian could not have treated the subject in that cold argumentative way4 ,as it was1 ,i could only pity one who could so misinterpret his ,master's words2 he must be yet on the outer threshold of the heart of ,christ1 if so near as that1 and not1 like the ,beloved ,john1 leaning on ,his bosom4 ,and ,i grieved for the 8hungry sheep10 who looked up and were not fed4 ,but if such sermons drive all hearers to the word itself1 refusing human interpretations1 they may do good4 ,alas6 ,we grope in darkness yet6 ,man is blinded to ,god's deep meaning everywhere1 in thought and in life1 in religion and in government4 ,the dark ages are not wholly past2 nor will they be1 until all fetters of thought and limb are broken4 ,yet1 through all1 the birds are singing with the joy of sunshine after ,april rain2 and earth is beautiful and bright1 beneath the promises of spring1--written on soft skies and sweet west winds4 ,the good ,god sits yet upon ,his throne of love6 ,april #ba4 ,the conflict is deepening2 but thanks to ,god1 there is no wavering1 no division1 now1 at the ,north6 ,all are united1 as one man2 and from a peaceful1 unwarlike people1 we are transformed into an army1 ready for the battle at a moment's warning4 ,the few days ,i have passed in ,boston this week are the only days in which ,i ever carried my heart into a crowd1 or hung around a company of soldiers with anything like pleasure4 ,but ,i felt a soldier-spirit rising within me1 when ,i saw the men of my native town armed and going to risk their lives for their country's sake2 and the dear old flag of our ,union is a thousand times more dear than ever before4 ,the streets of ,boston were almost canopied with the stars and stripes1 and the merchants festooned their shops with the richest goods of the national colors4 ,and now there are rumors of mobs attacking our troops1 of bridges burnt1 and arsenals exploded1 and many lives lost4 ,the floodgates of war are opened1 and when the tide of blood will cease none can tell4 ,may #f4 ,through the dark and lurid atmosphere of war the light of 8,nature's own exceeding peace0 still softly falls on the earth4 ,the violets have opened their blue eyes by the roadside2 the saxifrage fringes the ledges with white2 and the arbutus1 the ,pilgrim's mayflower1 blossoms on the hills away from here2 we have no hillsides for it to grow upon1 but ,i had some on ,may-day1 from the hills of ,taunton4 ,how strange the contrast between these delicate blossoms and the flaring red flower of war that has burst into bloom with the opening of spring6 ,every day brings something to stir the deep places of the soul1 and in the general awakening of life and liberty it may be that every heart feels its own peculiar sorrow and happiness more keenly4 ,there is a deeper life in every breath ,i draw2 and messages from distant friends seem more near and touching4 ,one day1 from one of the most beloved and honored1 comes a kind word for my poor efforts at poetry2 almost a prophecy of some blessed days of summer life among the mountains by and by1--and a holy benediction1 8,god bless thee1 and keep thee60 that fell upon my heart like the first ray of some new and unknown morning4 ,all life seemed green and glowing with a freshened trust4 ,god is1 and goodness is2 and true hearts are1 forever6 ,there is nothing to doubt1 even in these dark days6 ,then1 the next day1 a message from dear ,esther 7she could not write it herself7 to say that she is dying1 and wants to hear from me again4 ,and to think that she had been drooping all these spring days1 while ,i have been too full of occupation with the stir of the times to write6 ,but she says my words have always been good for her1 and surely few have blessed me by life and thought as she has4 ,heaven will have one bond for my heart1 closer than any yet4 ,i am glad that she can lie down in peace1 before the horrible scenes of bloodshed1 which only a miracle can now avert1 shall be enacted4 ,may #i4 ,i had set myself to reading ,maury's 8,physical ,geography of the ,sea10 after a long deferring2 but now that he has come out as a rank rebel against his country1 ,i cannot feel any interest in his theories1 ingenious as they are said to be4 ,like poor1 wise1 fallen ,bacon1 his ideas may prove something to the world1 8after some years have passed over10 but one is not fond of being taught by traitors4 ,may #ae4 ,a glimpse into a heart which has always been closed1 both to ,god and man1--what a chaos it discloses6 ,yet with all the elements of order there1 it is like the promise of a new creation4 ,such a glimpse1 such a half-unveiling1 one has given me to-day1 out of a soul-deep1 long-repressed longing for 8something to love60 ,ah1 that sorrowful need of every woman's heart1 especially2 yet more joyful than sorrowful1 because the longing shows the fulfillment possible1--yes1 certain4 ,in the heavenly life1 which such aspirations prophesy1 there is love abounding1 to give and to receive4 ,and ,i am thankful for one more to love4 ,may #bj4 ,esther dead6 ,gone home two days before ,i heard or dreamed of it6 ,but since she has gone home1--since it is only a glorious release for her1--,i will not let a thought of repining sully the gladness ,i ought to share with her4 ,it is only that one who has always lived near the ,holiest ,one is now called nearer still4 ,i have known her only in ,him1 and there ,i know her and love her still4 ,may #bb4 ,they write to me of her funeral1 of the white flowers beside her head1 and of her own lilies of the valley strewn over her in the grave by one who knew how she loved them4 ,everything that would have made her happy1 had her eyes been open to see1 and her ears to hear4 ,they sang the hymns she loved1 8,rock of ,ages10 and 8,i would not live alway10 and 8,thy will be done40 ,and my dear friend is free6--her soul has blossomed into heavenly light6 ,i told her once that this book was for only her to see2 ,i do not like my thoughts when ,i think them for myself alone2 and there is no other friend who would care as she cared4 ,will she read them now8 ,may #bg4 ,this is the gala week of spring4 ,none of the early flowers have quite faded1 and the apple-trees are in full bloom1 while elms and maples are just wearing their lightest drapery of green1 so tardily put on4 ,soft breezes1 sweet melody from many birds1 clear sunshine1 not yet too warm1--all things are just in that state1 when1 if we could wish for a standstill in nature1 we should4 ,and ,esther has been one week in heaven6 ,it seems to me1 sometimes1 as if some new charm was added to cloud and sunshine1 and spring blossoms1 since she went away2 as if it were given me to see all things clearer for her clearer vision2 she would speak to me1 if she could4 ,lectures these few days on historical women4 ,paula1 ,queen ,elizabeth1 and ,madame de ,maintenon1 thus far4 ,paula1 the friend of ,st4 ,jerome1 and the woman whom the speaker made to illustrate friendship1 pleased me most1 as presenting a higher ideal than either of the others4 ,christianity gave woman the privilege of a pure friendship with man2 before unknown1 we are told4 ,it is one of the noblest gifts of religion1 and ,i wish people believed in it more thoroughly4 ,but only a truly elevated and chastened nature can understand real friendship1--not a ,platonic ideal only1 though that is elevated1 let who will sneer at it3 but a drawing of the noblest souls together1 and to the ,soul of souls1 for the highest ends4 ,this is ,christian friendship2 union in ,christ for all beauty1 all purity1 all true and noble life1 which ,he illustrated in ,his own glorious life and death1 and of which ,he is now the inspiring power4 8,we are complete in ,him40 ,yes1 ,i am sure that it is in drawing near to ,him that ,i feel the loveliness of such beauty as that into which the world now blossoms2 for is not ,he the ,lord of nature1 and also my ,lord and ,friend8 ,and through ,his great love for us1 ,i see the ideal of all true human love4 8,as ,i have loved you10 ,he said1 8so must we love each other1 with tenderness1 forbearance1 generosity1 and self-sacrifice40 ,such friendship is possible1 is eternal2 and it is almost the most precious thing in the soul's inheritance4 ,june #ab4 ,i have been free for a few days1 and have taken a journey1--a flying tour among some of my friends4 ,how it quieted me1 to be with my peace-loving friends in these wild times of war6 ,there are some friends whose presence is encouragement in all that is good1 whom to look upon is to grow stronger for the truth4 ,there are homes1 too1 over which saintly memories hang1 making all within and around them sacred1 blending earth with heaven by holy sympathies4 ,how blessed ,i am1 to know such friends1 to enter such homes as these6 ,sometimes ,i can truly say1 8,my cup runneth over60 ,june #ad4 ,still the same old weariness of study2 8weariness of the flesh40 ,books are treasures1 but one may work among treasures even1 digging and delving1 till there is little enjoyment in them4 ,and the greater pain is1 that1 by becoming numb to the beautiful and true1 in any form1 one does not feel its power entirely1 anywhere4 ,so ,i felt this morning1 which ,i stole from my books4 ,i sat on a ledge in a distant field1 all around me beautiful with ,june1 and no sight or sound of human care in sight4 ,i sat there like a prisoner1 whose chains had dropped for the moment1 but the weight and pain of them lingered still4 ,yet ,i began to feel what it is to be free1 and how sweet and soothing nature always is1 before ,i rose to return4 ,i think it would not take me long to get accustomed to freedom1 and to rejoice in it with exceeding joy4 ,june #bc4 ,weary1 weary1 too weary to listen patiently to the heavy ,sabbath bells2 far too weary to sit in the church and listen to loud words and loud singing4 ,and my brain is too tired to let my heart feel the beauty of this quiet day4 ,i only know that the balm and beauty of ,june are around me1 without realizing it much4 ,but rest will come soon1 up among the mountains with friends who love noise and confusion as little as ,i do4 ,i shall be at peace4 ,a blessing will come to us1 among the hills4 ,july #d4 ,crackers all around the house at night4 ,fire-crackers1 torpedoes1 pistols1 and bell-ringing1 are enough to make one sick of one's country1 if this is the only way of showing one's patriotism4 ,i am sure1 as ,i lay last night1 nervously wide awake1 with every shot startling and paining me as if it had really gone through my brain1 ,i felt more belligerently disposed toward the young patriots than toward the ,southern rebels6 ,but if there is no other way of nursing an interest in free institutions among these juvenile republicans1 there's nothing to be done but to endure the 8,fourth of ,july0 once a year1 for the general good4 ,august #a4 ,yesterday ,i visited the residence of the late ,hon4 ,daniel ,webster1 at ,marshfield4 ,there was much that was interesting to see in the great man's home2 ,i think the two things that pleased me most were the portraits of his mother1 and his black cook1 or housekeeper4 ,the latter was a fine painting1 the face so full of intelligence1 gratitude1 and all good feelings2 and there was an evidence of the true sympathy and home comfort between master and servant1 if it is well to use those words1 in the picture itself1 the care with which it was painted1 as well as the speaking face4 ,the other was simply an old-fashioned cut profile1 in black outline1 and underneath it the words1 8,my excellent mother--,d4 ,webster40 ,out of doors1 the wonderful old elm was the greatest attraction1 with its branches sweeping the ground1 and making an arbor and a cathedral at once1 before the threshold4 ,webster himself--but it is not well to call up anything but pleasant memories of the dead2 and these do linger about the home he loved4 ,what the nation thinks of him may be recorded elsewhere4 ,august #b4 ,i visited ,plymouth1 placed my foot on the memorable 8,plymouth ,rock10 of the ,pilgrims 7now so enclosed and covered as to leave scarcely space sufficient for my large foot to rest upon71 looked at ,mayflower curiosities in the hall1 books1 shoes1 and fans of the olden time1 and more especially pewter platters1 which1 judging from some ancient will ,i looked over in the ,court ,house1 were the most important personal property of the ,puritans4 ,john ,alden's well-worn ,bible was open at the date of publication1 #afbj1 so he had it new for his westward voyage2 ,i wondered whether it was the gift of some friend left behind1 or his own purchase4 ,miles ,standish's long rapier was scarcely more interesting to me than the big kettle labeled with his name1 which might have supplied the colony with dinner1 judging from its size4 ,some old documents relating to the ,quakers caught my attention2 one especially1 wherein ,winthrop demurred from signing his name to a report of ,commissioners1 wherein this troublesome sect were adjudged worthy to be put to death for their 8cursed opinions and devilish tennets10--,winthrop signed1 leaving testimony beside his name1 that it was 8as a querry1 not as an act40 ,coming back to ,george ,fox's journal1 which ,i had borrowed for vacation reading1 ,i could not but smile at the difference a hundred or two years will make2 ,i can admire both ,puritan and ,quaker for their sincerity1 and only wish they could have understood each other better4 ,there is no defense for the persecution of the 8,fathers10 except the imperfection of human nature1 and there is only this for the misguided ways into which the ,quakers were led1 by mistaking their own fancies for the 8inner light40 ,better death on both sides 7for what each held to be truth7 than indifference to truth4 ,and1 stepping among the bones of the ,pilgrims1 on ,burying ,hill1 and looking away over the waves which brought them and freedom to ,new ,england1 and so to the ,union1 ,i could not but contrast the struggle of that day with the present war for liberty against oppression4 ,it is1 in reality1 the 8,old ,colony0 against the 8,old ,dominion10 or rather1 the latter against the former1 aristocracy against the republic4 ,god will prosper us now as then2 but perhaps we are to be brought as low before ,him as they were1 before our cause can be victorious4 ,august #c4 ,fishing on the 8,indian ,pond0 in ,pembroke half the day1 catching sunfish and shiners1 red perch and white2 my first exploits of the kind4 ,it is a pleasant day to remember1 for the green trees and the blue waters1 for lilies wide awake on the bosom of the waters in the morning sunshine1 for fresh breezes1 and for pleasant company4 ,august #aa4 ,at ,amesbury1--with two of the dearest friends my life is blessed with1--dear quiet-loving ,lizzie1 and her poet brother4 ,i love to sit with them in the still ,quaker worship1 and they love the free air and all the beautiful things as much as they do all the good and spiritual4 ,the harebells nodding in shade and shine on the steep banks of the ,merrimac1 the sparkle of the waters1 the blue of the sky1 the balm of the air1 and the atmosphere of grave sweet friendliness which ,i breathed for one calm 8,first-day0 are never to be forgotten4 ,august #bj4 ,one of the stillest moonlight evenings1--not a sound heard but the bleat of a lamb1 and the murmur of the river2 all the rest a cool1 broad1 friendly mountainous silence4 ,peace comes down with the soft clouds and mists that veil the hills2 the ,pemigewasset sings all night in the moonshine1 and ,i lie and dream of the beauty of those hill-outlines around ,winnipiseogee1 that ,i looked upon with so satisfied a greeting from the car window on my way hither4 ,the mountains do not know their own beauty anywhere but by a lakeside4 ,so it is3 beauty sets us longing for other beauty2 the clouds moving above their summits suggest possibilities that earthly summits1 at their grandest1 can never attain4 ,and no dream can suggest the possibilities of the beautiful that 8shall be revealed40 ,august #bd4 8,the eye is not satisfied with seeing1 and the ear with hearing10 and one can never tire of the vision of mountain landscapes1 and the quiet song of summer rivers4 ,every day since ,i have been here in this beautiful village of ,campton1 ,i have driven through some new region2 sometimes into the very heart of the hills1 where nothing is to be seen but swelling slopes on every side1 hills which have not quite attained mountainhood1 but which would be mountains anywhere but in the 8,granite ,state20 and sometimes out into the interval openings of the river2 with new views of 8,alps on ,alps0 on the northern horizon1 the gate of the ,franconia ,notch opening dimly afar with its mountain haystacks piled beside it4 ,it is rest to soul and body to be among these mountains2 one thing only is lacking2 the friends ,i had hoped to see here are not with me4 ,but too much joy is not to be looked for2 let me hope that they are among scenes more beautiful1 and with dearer friends than ,i4 ,yet how delightful it would have been1 to be with the best friends1 among the most beautiful scenes4 ,august #be4 ,i am enjoying the society of my old friend and former associate teacher4 ,she is more gifted than ,i1 in most ways1 and it is pleasant to talk to some one who1 you take it for granted1 has a clearer understanding1 and deeper insight1 and more adequate expression than yourself4 ,august #bh4 ,yesterday a rare treat2 a ride to ,waterville 7to the 8end of the wood0 as they speak of it here7 in a three-seated open wagon4 ,i wish they would have only open ones for mountain travel4 ,september #e4 ,why do ,i not love to be near the sea better than among the mountains8 ,here is my home1 if birthplace makes home4 ,but no1 it is not my natural preference2 ,i believe ,i was born longing after the mountains4 ,and rivers and lakes are better to me than the ocean4 ,i remember how beautiful the ,merrimac looked to me in childhood1 the first true river ,i ever knew2 it opened upon my sight and wound its way through my heart like a dream realized2 its harebells1 its rocks1 and its rapids1 are far more fixed in my memory than anything about the sea4 ,yet the vastness and depth and the changes of mist and sunshine are gloriously beautiful2 ,i know and feel their beauty4 ,still1 ,i admire it most in glimpses2 a bit of blue between the hills1 only a little more substantial than the sky1 and a white sail flitting across it2 or when it is high-tide calm1--one broad1 boundless stillness1--then there is rest in the sea1 but it never rests me like the strong silent hills2 they bear me up on their summits into heaven's own blue eternity of peace4 ,but is it right to wrap one's own being in this mantle of peace1 while the country is ravaged by war8--its garments rolled in blood1 brother fighting against brother to the death8 ,the tide of rebellion surges higher and higher1 and there is no sadder proof that we are not the liberty-loving people that we used to call ourselves1 than to learn that there are traitors in the secret councils of the nation1 in forts defended by our own bravest men2 among women1 too3 8,sisters6 oh1 ,sisters6 ,shame o' ladies60 ,a disloyal woman at the ,north1 with everything woman ought to hold dear at stake in the possible fall of this government1--it is too shameful6 ,i hope every one such will be held in 8durance vile0 until the war is over4 ,but will it end until the question is brought to its true issue1--liberty or slavery8 ,i doubt it3 and ,i would rather the war should last fifty years1 than ever again make the least compromise with slavery1 that arch-enemy of all true prosperity1 that eating sin of our nation4 ,rather divide at once1 rather split into a thousand pieces1 than sink back into this sin6 ,the latest news is of the capture of the ,hatteras ,forts1 a great gain for us1 and a blight to privateering at the ,south2--with a rumor of 8,jeff ,davis's0 death1 which nobody believes because it is so much wished4 ,yet to his friends he is a man1 and no rebel4 ,war is a bitter curse1--it forbids sympathy1 and makes us look upon our enemies as scarcely human2 and we cannot help it1 when our foes are the foes of right4 ,norton1 ,september #h4 ,am ,i glad for trials1 for disappointments1 for opportunities for self-sacrifice1 for everything ,god sends8 ,ah6 indeed ,i do not know6 ,how many times1 when we say1 8,try me1 and know my heart10 the answer is1 8,ye know not what ye ask60 ,and ,i know not why1 in some states of mind and body1 what seems a very little trouble 7or would1 if told another71 should be so oppressive4 ,but 8little10 and 8great10 in the world's vocabulary1 are very different terms from what they are in individual experience2 and submission1 and grateful acquiescing obedience to divine will1 are to be learned by each in his own capacity4 ,two weeks ago1 ,i was saying over to myself1 every day1 as if it were a new thought1 ,keble's lines1-- 8,new treasures still1 of countless price1 ,god will provide for sacrifice40 ,and as those words kept recurring1 as if whispered by a spirit1 ,i thought ,i should be glad to have my best treasures to give for sacrifice1 to make others happy with what was most precious to me4 ,and as my way seemed uncertain1 and for a day or two ,i knew not whether to move or to sit still1 ,i said1 8,lead me6 ,behold the handmaid of the ,lord2 let it be unto me according to ,thy will1--only let me do nothing selfishly40 ,and the answer came in the withdrawal of a blessing from me2 no doubt with purposes of greater blessing to some one1 somewhere and somehow2 and ,i am only half reconciled as yet4 ,shall ,i ever believe that ,god knows best1 and does what is best for me1 and for us all8 ,it is easy enough in theory1 but these great and little trials tell us the truth about ourselves1--show us our insincerity4 ,and now ,i close this record1 which has been my nearest companion for so many months4 ,esther is gone4 ,is there any friend who cares enough for me just as ,i am1 to keep it in memory of me8 ,or had ,i better bury it from my own eyes and all others'8 ,it may be good for me to read the record of myself as ,i have been1--cheerful or morbid1--and of what ,i have read1 thought1 and done1 wisely or unwisely4 ,the 8,country ,parson0 thinks a diary a good thing2 and ,i do too1 in many ways1 but ,i would rather write for a friend's kindly eyes than for my own3 even about myself4 ,therefore letters are to me a more genial utterance than a journal1 and ,i would write any journal as if for some one who could understand me fully1 love me1 and have patience with me through all4 ,i do not know if now there is any such friend for me2 yet dear friends ,i have1 and more and more precious to me1 every year4 ,if these were my last words1 ,i would set them down as a testimony to the preciousness of human friendships2 dearer and richer than anything else on earth4 ,by them is the revelation of the divine in the human2 by them heaven is opened1 truth is made clear1 and life is worth the living4 ,so have ,i been blessed1 drawn heavenward by saintly messengers in the garb of mortality4 ,so shall it be forever1 for true love is--eternal1 it is life itself4 ,september #ab4 ,is it always selfish to yield to depression8 ,can one help it1 if the perspective of a coming year of lonely labor seems very long8 ,no4 ,i shall not be alone2 ,i shall feel the sympathy of all the good and true1 though apart from them2 and though ,i cannot come very near to any under this roof1 yet to all ,i can come nearer than ,i think ,i can4 ,and by and by these strange restless yearnings will be stilled2 ,i shall quiet my soul in the peace of ,god4 ,he has said1 8,i will never leave thee nor forsake thee60 ,oh6 what is any woman's life worth without the friendship of the ,one ever near1 the only divine8 ,yes1 ,i will make my work my friend4 ,my trials1 my vexations1 my cares1 shall speak good words to me1 and ,i will not blind my eyes to the beauty close at hand1 because of the lost glory of my dreams4 ,i wish ,i could be more to all these young glad beings1--it is not in me to touch the chords of many souls at once1 but ,i will enlarge my sympathies4 ,october #e1 #ahfa4 ,this first week of ,october1 this month of months1 shall not pass without some record of its beauty4 ,norton woods and ,norton sunsets are the two redeeming features of the place2 as its levelness is its bane4 ,what is it in us that refuses to love levels8 ,is it that there is no searching and toiling for anything1 up cool heights and down in sheltered hollows8 ,these splendidly tinted maples before my window would be a hundred-fold more splendid if lifted up among the hemlocks and pines of the mountainsides4 ,oh6 how magnificent those ,new ,hampshire hills must be now1 in the sunset of the year6 ,the place is a level1 and boarding-school life is a most wearisome level to me1 yet flowers spring up1 and fruits grow in both4 ,we are to welcome 8all that makes and keeps us low20 yet it seems to me as if it would be good for me to ascend oftener to the heights of being2 ,i fear losing the power and the wish to climb4 ,let us say we are struggling to put down slavery1 and we shall be strong4 ,october #h4 ,yesterday two letters came to me1 each from a friend ,i have never seen1 yet each with a flower-like glow and perfume that made my heart glad4 ,and at evening a graceful little basket of fruit was left in my room1 and this morning a bunch of fringed gentians1 blue with the thoughtfulness of the sky that hangs over the far solitary meadows1 the last answer from earth to heaven from the frosty fields4 ,october #aa4 ,rain3 and just one of those dreary drizzling rains which turn one in from the outer world upon one's own consciousness1--a most unhealthy pasture land for thought1 in certain states of mind and body4 ,just how far we should live in self-consciousness1 and how far live an outside life1 or rather1 live in the life of others1 is a puzzle4 ,without something of an inner experience1 it is not easy to enter into other lives1 to their advantage2 some self-knowledge is necessary1 to keep us from intruding upon others2 but it is never good to make self the centre of thought4 ,october #ac4 ,george ,fox's journal is a leaf from a strange chapter of the world's history3 from the history of religion4 ,if a plain man should come among us now1 asking leave of none to speak1 but 8testifying0 in religious assemblies to the reality of the inward life of light and peace in ,christ1 his blunt and simple ways might be unpleasing to many1 but every scoffer would look on1 more with wonder than with anger4 ,many1 ,i am sure1 would welcome such a voice of sincerity and 8livingness10 sounding through the outward services of religion4 ,the days of religious persecution can scarcely return again2 nor1 it is to be hoped1 the days of those strange phenomena which so irritated our ancestors2 men walking as 8signs0 to the people1 declaring their dreams to be visions from ,god1 and uttering wild1 unmeaning prophecies for inspiration4 ,how hard it is to learn what 8true religion and undefiled0 is6 ,life is a better word for this universal bond than religion4 ,and we shall see1 sometime1 that it is only by the redemption of all our powers1 all that is in us and in the outward world1 that we are truly 8saved40 ,we must receive the true light through and through1 we must keep our common sense1 our talents1 our genius1 just the same2--only that light must glow through all1 to make all alive4 ,and when home1 and friendships1 and amusements1 and all useful and beautiful thoughts and things are really made transparent with that divine light1 when nothing that ,god has given us is rejected as 8common or unclean10 the 8new heaven and the new earth0 will have been created1 and we shall live in our ,creator and ,redeemer4 ,the great difference between the early ,quakers and the ,puritans seems to me to be that the former had larger ideas of truth1 deeper and broader revelations1 yet mixed with greater eccentricities1 as might be expected4 ,the ,puritans were most anxious for a place where they could worship undisturbed1 as their consciences dictated2 the ,quakers were most desirous that the ,word of ,life should be spoken everywhere1--the ,light be revealed to all4 ,each made serious mistakes1--what else could we expect1 from the best that is human8 ,and the errors of both were1 in great part1 the errors of the age1--intolerance and fanaticism4 ,october #ab4 ,how refreshing the clear cold air is1 after the summer-like fogs and rains we have had6 ,i love the cold2 the northern air is strengthening2 it has the breath of the hills in it1 the glow of ,auroral lights1 and the purity of the eternal snows4 ,there is little of the south in my nature2 the north is my home2 ,italy and the tropics will do for dream excursions2 ,i should long for the sweeping winds of the hillsides1 if ,i were there4 ,october #ae4 ,the beauty of this morning was wonderful2 something in the air made me feel like singing4 ,i thought my weariness was all gone2 but leaning over books brought it back4 ,after school four of us rode off in the wagon through the woods2 and delighted ourselves with the sunset1 the katydids1 and the moonlight4 ,october #bb4 ,i heard ,charles ,sumner on the ,rebellion3 my first sight and hearing of the great anti-slavery statesman4 ,he was greeted with tremendous applause1 and every expression of opposition to slavery was met with new cheers4 ,he does not seem to me like a man made to awaken enthusiasm2 a great part of his address was statistical1 and something we all knew before1--the long preparation of this uprising of the rebels2 and his manner was not that of a man surcharged with his subject1 but of one who had thoroughly and elegantly prepared himself to address the people4 ,at this time we are all expecting orators to speak as we feel1--intensely2 perhaps it is as well that all do not meet our expectations4 ,one idea which he presented seemed to me to be worth all the rest1 and worth all the frothy spoutings for 8,union0 that we hear every day2 it was that our battalions must be strengthened by ideas1 by the idea of freedom4 ,that is it4 ,our men do not know what they are fighting for2 freedom is greater than the ,union1 and a ,union1 old or new1 with slavery1 no true patriot will now ask for4 ,may we be saved from that1 whatever calamities we may endure6 ,the ride to and from ,boston has a new picture since summer3 the camp at ,readville1 just under the shadow of the ,milton hills4 ,it is a striking picture1 the long array of white tents1 the soldiers marching and countermarching1 and the hills1 tinted with sunset and autumn at once1 looking down upon the camping ground4 ,little enough can one realize what war is1 who sees it only in its picturesque aspect1 who knows of it only by the newspapers1 by knitting socks for soldiers1 and sewing bed-quilts for the hospitals4 ,i should give myself in some more adequate way1 if we were definitely struggling for freedom2 for there is more for women to do than to be lookers-on4 ,october #bg4 ,looking out on the clouds at sunset1 the thought of ,god as constantly evolving beauty from ,his own being into all created forms1 struck me forcibly1 as the right idea of our lives2 that1 like ,him1 we should be full of all truth and love1 and so grow into beauty ourselves1 and impart loveliness to all we breathe upon1 or touch4 ,inspiration from ,him is all we have to impart in blessing to others4 ,what is the meaning of these moods and states that fetter some of us so8 ,i have seen life just as ,i see it now1 and been glad in it1 while for many months all things have brought me a nightmare-feeling that ,i could not shake off4 ,i know it is the same world1 the same life1 the same ,god2 ,i do not doubt ,him1 nor the great and good ends that ,he is working out for all2 yet nothing wears its old delight4 ,october #cj4 8,and with a child's delight in simple things40 ,that ,i have not lost all this1 ,i felt to-day1 in receiving a note from an unknown person1--from one who had read some poems of mine in childhood1 and now1 a woman1 bears something not unworthy the name of poet2 to hear some new voice speaking to me in this way1 as a friend1 is pleasant to me4 ,i have written as ,i have felt1 in my verses2 they have been true words from my deepest life1 often2 and ,i am glad whenever they call forth a sincere answer1 as now2--one word of real appreciation repays me for pages of mere fault-finding4 ,yet a kind fault-finder is the best of friends4 ,what is the meaning of 8gossip80 ,doesn't it originate with sympathy1 an interest in one's neighbor1 degenerating into idle curiosity and love of tattling8 ,which is worse1 this habit1 or keeping one's self so absorbed intellectually as to forget the sufferings and cares of others1 to lose sympathy through having too much to think about8 ,october #ca4 ,i must hurry my mind1 when ,i have to press ancient history into a three-months' course1 and keep in advance of my class in study1 with rhetoric and mental philosophy requiring a due share of attention besides1 and the whole school to be criticised in composition and furnished with themes4 ,november #e4 ,governor ,andrew's proclamation was a very touching one4 ,thanksgiving will be a sad day this year1 yet a more sacred day than ever4 ,i read his allusion to the ,potomac1 as now a sacred river to us1 since the blood of our soldiers had mingled with its waters2 and we felt that one throb of patriotism unites us all1 however we must suffer4 ,november #g4 ,frmont is removed6 ,it seems too bad1 for none could awaken enthusiasm as he did1 everywhere4 ,and yet military law is all that holds us up now1 and we have to trust blindly that the rulers are right4 ,it may prove to be so1 but to withdraw him when within a few miles of the enemy seems too hard4 ,we shall respect him all the more1 to see him bearing it nobly for his country's sake4 ,november #ad4 ,the best news for us since the war began has come within a day or two2 and it is confirmed4 ,beaufort1 ,s4 ,c41 is taken by a federal fleet1 and the secessionists are in real consternation4 ,all agree that this is a decisive blow1 and if we can maintain our position1 the war will end speedily4 ,but after that1 there will be the same question to settle--8,are we one country or not80 ,we shall not be any more agreed than we were before1 until slavery is abolished4 ,the idea that the negroes are attached to the 8institution0 is well shown up now1 when two hundred slaves1 the property of one man in the very heart of slavedom1 hasten at once to board our war steamers for protection2 and when their masters vainly try to whip them before them in their retreat4 ,if now our government undertakes to cultivate cotton by free labor of colored men1 it will be a grand step towards the general liberation4 ,and if thus the ,south can be made to honor labor1 we may by and by be reunited in spirit2 for that is the element of separation4 ,we are carried onward in a way we little know1 and it is impossible not to rejoice when we feel ourselves borne by a mighty and loving ,power towards a glorious goal4 ,november #ah4 ,much of our ,christianity is not of a sufficiently enlarged type to satisfy an educated ,hindoo2 not that ,unitarianism is necessary1 for that system has but a surface-liberalism which can become very hard1 and finally very narrow1 as its history among us has often proved4 ,it is not a system at all that we want3 it is ,christ1 the 8wisdom of ,god and the power of ,god10 ,christ1 the loving1 creating1 and redeeming friend of the world1 ,christ1 whose large1 free being enfolds all that is beautiful in nature and in social life2 and all that is strong and deep and noble in the sanctuary of every living soul4 ,when ,christians have truly learned ,christ1 they can be true teachers4 ,november #bd4 ,thanksgiving is over2 ,i have been to ,beverly and returned4 ,i am glad they wanted me so much1 for ,i should not have gone without2 and in this place there is little in harmony with our best home festival4 ,our governor's proclamation was of the true ,puritan stamp2 and the day was one to be kept religiously1 in view of our present national troubles1 and of the strong ,power that is bearing us through and over them4 ,we are sure that ,god is on our side2 and one of the things to be most thankful for is that the desire for the liberation of the slave is becoming universal4 ,our armies1 that began to fight for ,union alone1 now see that ,union is nothing without freedom1 and when this ,northern heart is fully inspired with that sentiment the ,northern hand will strike a decisive blow2 such a blow as only the might of right can direct4 ,november #be4 ,the first snow6 ,light and thick as swan's-down1 it wraps the shivering bosom of mother earth4 ,last night ,i went to sleep with an uncurtained window before me1 and the still1 bright stars looking in2 ,i awoke to find the air dim and heavy with snow1 and all the treetops bending in graceful gratitude2 and to think aloud the lines1-- 8,oh6 if our souls were but half as white ,as the beautiful snow that fell last night60 ,i do not like this vague kind of unrest1 and this dissatisfaction with myself which returns so often4 ,i am willing to be dissatisfied1 but ,i want to know exactly with what1 that ,i may mend4 ,i believe the trouble partly is that ,i do not1 cannot1 love very much the people that ,i see oftenest4 ,their thoughts and ways are so different from mine ,i cannot comfortably walk with them4 ,it seems to me as if we were like travelers on the same journey1 but in paths wide apart2 and we can only make one another hear by effort and shouting4 ,whether this is wrong1 or simply one of the things that cannot be helped1 ,i cannot clearly see2 but ,i am afraid that ,i am too willing to excuse myself for so doing4 ,november #bf4 ,the last day of school2 my classes all examined1 and to-morrow we scatter1 to gather ourselves together again in two weeks4 ,i am not sure whether ,i like or dislike these frequent changes2 on the whole ,i think ,i like them2 for they break up the monotony1 and then one does get so totally glued to the manner of school life3 there is no better name for the cohesive power that makes us one household for the time4 ,i do not believe it possible 7for me1 at least1 and ,i doubt whether it is for any woman7 to have quite a home feeling1 among the many living together1 in a place like this4 ,there is not expansive power enough in me to take in all4 ,beverly1 ,december4 ,the two weeks of vacation are nearly over1 and ,i have done nothing but sew4 ,i had planned to read1 and paint1 and walk1 and rest2 but things are as they are1 and one cannot go in tatters4 ,i like to be somewhat troubled and absorbed in the necessities of life1 once in a while2 it is rather pleasant than otherwise to feel that something urgently requires my attention2 and then this is the way to realize how three fourths of the inhabitants of this world live to eat1 drink1 and wear clothes4 ,december #ac4 ,vacation is over2 and here ,i am at ,norton again1 not so fully awake and in earnest about school work as ,i wish ,i was4 ,my whole life has lost the feeling of reality2 ,i cannot tell why4 ,alike in the city1 by the seashore1 and here on the levels of this now leafless flat-land1 ,i feel as if ,i were 8moving about in worlds unrealized40 ,i know well enough the theory of life2 what principles must sustain me2 what great objects there are to live for2 and still there remains the same emptiness1 the same wonder in everything ,i do4 ,i feel as ,i imagine the world might have felt1 when going through some of its slow transitions from chaos into habitable earth1--waiting for sunshine1 and bursting buds1 and running rivers4 ,i suppose ,i am not ready for full life yet4 ,december #af4 ,to-day there are rumors of a possible war with ,england1 on account of the affair of ,mason and ,slidell1 now prisoners in ,boston harbor4 ,it will be an outrage on humanity1 a proof that ,england's pompous declamations against slavery are all hypocritical1 if this should be done2 for all good authorities have declared that a war on this account would never be1 unless a pretext for war was wanted4 ,perhaps ,providence intends that this shall be brought out definitely as a struggle for principles2 ,i think the nation and the army need some such lesson1 and they will not learn it unless it is made very plain4 ,december #bb4 ,i have found what are to be my two books of ,bible study1--my two ,sabbath books for the term4 ,they are ,neander's 8,history of the ,church10 and ,conybeare and ,howson's 8,life of ,st4 ,paul40 ,i have commenced them both1 and find that satisfaction in them that is only met with by coming in contact with a character1--gifted1 scholarly and ,christian4 ,how ,i should like to live a free life with nature one year through6 out in the bracing winds1 the keen frosty air1 and over the crackling snowcrust1 wherever ,i would2 and then in summer1 seek the mountains or the sea1 as ,i chose2 no study1 no thoughts1 but what came as a thing of course2 no system1 except nature's wild ways1 which have always their own harmony1 evident enough when one enters into them1 though understood by no mere observer4 ,december #bh4 ,a pretty table found its way into my room ,christmas morning1 a gift contributed from two classes3 ,i was half sorry and half glad to receive it2 ,i don't think ,i appreciate this kind of a present--it represents so many persons1 some vaguely and some clearly fixed in memory--so much as a simpler token from the heart of one friend4 ,and yet ,i feel the kindness which prompted the gift1 and am grateful for it1 ,i am sure4 ,how ashamed one is obliged to be just now of the 8mother country06 ,step-mother ,country ,england ought to be called1 for her treatment of us in our trouble4 ,it is hard to believe that all she has said against slavery was insincere1 and that she would really like to see the slave-power established and flourishing on the ruins of our free ,republic2 but her actions say so4 ,yet we are not guiltless2 not wholly purged from the curse yet4 ,the army is not entirely anti-slavery in principles2 and we cannot look for success1 nor wish it1 but for the sake of freedom4 ,,chapter ,,vi4 ,,intellectual ,,experiences4 ,january #ai1 #ahfb4 ,how hard it is to know anything of history1 to learn enough to feel at all competent to teach6 ,i said ,i would look through ,gibbon1 but ,i had hardly reached the times of ,julian1 before my class must be hurrying beyond ,charlemagne1 and ,i must turn to ,french histories to help them along4 ,then1 between de ,bonnechose and ,sir ,james ,stephen1 with the various writers on the ,middle ,ages1 which must be consulted for the history of the feudal system1 free cities1 and the ,papacy1 comes in the remembrance of my ,bible class in the early history of the church1 and ,i must give some hours to ,neander6 ,meanwhile1 another class is reading ,shakespeare1 and ,i want them to be somewhat critical1 and must therefore read1 myself2 while yet another class in ,metaphysics are beginning the history of philosophy1 and ,i want them to know something about ,plato1 and the ,alexandrian schools1 and knowing very little myself ,i must find out something first4 ,so ,i bring to my room the volumes containing the 8,timus0 and the 8,republic20 but in the midst of it1 ,i remember that there are some compositions to be corrected1 that ,i may be ready for the new ones ,monday morning4 ,this is pretty much where ,saturday night finds me1 and so the weeks go on1 this winter4 ,i am glad to be busy1 but ,i dislike to be superficial4 ,now1 if ,i could teach only history1 ,i should feel as though ,i might hope to do something4 ,girls will be ill-educated1 until their teachers are allowed the time and thought which teachers of men are expected to take4 ,january #bb4 ,i am trying to get an idea which is rolling in grand chaos through my mind into shape for a composition theme for my first class this afternoon4 ,it is the power of the soul in moulding form1--from the great ,soul of the universe1 down to lower natures1--down to animal and vegetable life4 ,plato's doctrine of ideas is the only starting-point ,i can think of2 some thoughts of ,swedenborg's will help2 then ,lavater and the ,physiologists and ,psychologists4 ,but ,i want them to use it practically2 to take particular persons1 features1 shape1 gait1 manner1 voice1 life2 and then observe closely how beauty develops itself in flowers1 leaves1 pebbles1 into infinite variety1 yet according to invariable laws4 ,it is a hard thing to bring such subjects into shape which young girls can grasp2 yet they are the best things for opening the mind upon a broad horizon4 ,for a review of the week ,i must think of ,plato2 the 8,republic10 and 8,timus10 and 8,critias10 ,i have succeeded in looking through2 ,i have heard my 8,mental0 class read some of the rest4 ,in the 8,republic10 ,i remember it is decided that youths should be taught in music1--no enfeebling melodies1 but those which strengthen and build up the soul in all that is vast and true4 ,plato's idea of music comprehends more than we read in the word2 and ,i see how it is that an education should be musical1--the spiritual fabric rising like the walls of ,troy to the ,orphean strains of noble thoughts and impulses4 ,i remember1 too1 that he would forbid some of the stories of the ,gods to be told to children2 those which should needlessly alarm them1 or weaken their reverence4 ,in that corrupt and yet beautiful system1 it was necessary indeed2 the same idea might be not injuriously carried out in a system of ,christian education4 ,in the ,hebrew ,scriptures there is much that puzzles the maturest minds1 sincere and earnest in their search for truth2 yet these narratives are the first knowledge that children often have of the ,bible4 ,i would have them learn only the ,new ,testament1 until they have learned something of the real nature of the world they are ushered into4 ,when they study other history1 they will be better able to understand this2 and the history of the ,jews is1 it seems to me1 a wonderful part of the world's record1 so connected with that of other nations as to make them plainer1 revealing the handwriting of an ,almighty ,providence everywhere4 ,i would not have the child begin life with the terror which hung over my childhood3 told that ,i was a sinner before ,i knew what sin meant1 and fearful pictures of eternal punishment which awaited all sinners at death haunting my dreams1 so that ,i was afraid to sleep1 and more afraid to die4 ,i know they say 7a good man has just said it to me7 that there is less vigor of mind and character because these things are less taught as a part of religion than formerly2 yet ,i am sure that blind fear cannot invigorate1--it must degrade4 ,i believe that ,i went far down from my earliest ideals of life after hearing these things2 and it was a long straying amid shadowy half-truths1 and glooms of doubt1 and stagnations of indifference1 before ,i came back to the first thought of my childhood4 ,no3 let a child's life be beautiful as ,god meant it to be1 by keeping it near ,him1 by showing to its simplicity the things which are lovely1 and true1 and pure1 and of good report4 ,the knowledge of evil comes rapidly enough1 in the petty experiences of life2 but a child will soon love evil and grow old in it1 if driven away from the divine light of love2 if not allowed to think of ,god chiefly as a friend4 ,and just here is where ,christ speaks to the hearts of little children2 they know ,him as soon as ,he is permitted to speak1 and are known of ,him4 ,january #bi4 ,i believe that letter-writing is more of a reality to me now than conversation2 short though my notes are1 ,i can speak thus to those who need me1 and whom ,i need4 ,repose of character1 and the power of forgetting1 are great compensations for a tried1 hurried1 and worried life4 ,and there is1 in all but the most unusual lives1 something like this1 which enables people to laugh at care1 and triumph over grief2 though it is never perfectly done1 except by a thorough trust in the goodness of ,god1--a faith in the watching love4 ,february #e4 ,i did have the sleigh-ride with my young friends1 as ,i expected1 and a merry one it was4 ,we just whirled through ,attleboro1 and back again4 ,all ,i remember of the ride is the icicles that hung on the orchard trees and1 just at sunset1 the tints that fell on a slope of unstained snow4 ,they were the softest1 coolest shades of blue and violet1 with here and there a suggestion of rose or crimson1 a perfectly magical combination of shadow colors1 only half escaped from their white light-prison of the snow4 ,it was a hint of the beauty of an ,alpine or a ,polar landscape1 such as travelers tell about4 ,the young moon followed one queenly star down the west1 as we returned1 with a song of 8,glory ,hallelujah10 and 8,homeward ,bound40 ,february #f4 ,the clear blue of this morning's sky has melted into a mass of snowy clouds1 and now earth and sky are of the same hue1--white--white1--the purest crystalline snow is on the ground1 and more is coming4 ,the violet hues in the north at sunrise and sunset are very beautiful4 ,i am glad ,i took my walk in the woods this morning while the sky was bright2 there are fine tints there always on the trees1 various browns of withered oaks and beech-leaves1 still persistent1 and leaning against the stout pine trunks1 that hold up their constant green to the sky4 ,two trees ,i noticed for the first time1 a pine and a maple1 which have grown up with their trunks in close union1 almost one from infancy4 ,one keeps his dark green mantle on1 the other has lost her light summer robe1 but is covered all over with the softest clinging lichens1 that contrast their pale green tints with the white-gray bark in a charming way4 ,when snow falls on these lichen-draped boughs1 the softness of the white above and the white below is wonderful4 ,i think ,neck-woods is a grand studio2 when weary of my own white walls ,i can always find refreshment there4 ,february #g4 ,the news of ,sarah ,paine's death overwhelms me1--so young1 so sensitive1 so genial and accomplished2 she seemed made to enter deeply into the reality and beauty of an earthly life4 ,no pupil of mine has ever yet come near me in so many ways to sympathize and gladden as she4 ,only a few weeks since1 we walked together in the woods1 so full of life and hope she was2 and now1 in a moment1--but why this sorrow1 since she is but suddenly called home to deeper love and purer life8 ,how every failure of tenderness and perfect appreciation on my part comes back to pain me now6 ,why have ,i not written to her8 ,why have ,i waited for her to write to me8 ,oh1 what is worse than to fail of loving truly8 ,february #ac4 ,i had decided to go to her funeral1 and went to ,boston for the purpose1 but a sleepless night left me too wretched to undertake the journey1 and ,i spent the days in ,boston feeling too miserable to come back here1 or to stay there4 ,how much of my life is gone with this friend6--gone8 no2 translated1 lifted up with her to her new estate6 ,yet much is gone from the world3 the beauty of the walks about here1 of the studies we have loved and pursued together1--,i hardly knew how much this young life had woven itself into mine4 ,and it was the deeper1 spiritual sympathies fusing all love into one deep harmony of life1--it was the love of the all-loving ,one that brought us closest together2 and that makes 8was0 the wrong word to use1 in speaking of her2 she is my friend still1 and the light of her new life will enter into mine4 ,one after another1 those who have come nearest to me to love1 to sympathize1 to guide1 pass on into purer air1 and make me feel that my life is not here2 my home is with the beloved4 ,february #ag4 ,there is news to-day of great victories in progress for us4 ,fort ,donelson is surrounded2 there has been a deadly fight1 and our flag waves upon the outer fortifications4 ,it is said that the rebels must yield1 as all approaches are cut off1 but it is the struggle of desperation with them1 as this is the key to the whole ,southwest4 ,there are victories in ,missouri and in ,north ,carolina also2 more prisoners taken than our generals know what to do with2 but all this is purchased at such a price of blood6 ,in the days ,i stayed in ,boston last week ,i visited two galleries of paintings1 ancient and modern4 ,the old paintings are chiefly curious1 not beautiful1 often very coarse in conception4 ,i should like to see something really great by the 8old masters20 but ,i suppose such things are only to be seen in ,europe4 ,i believe ,i love landscape more than figures1 unless these latter are touched by a master's hand4 ,to be commonplace in dealing with nature does not seem quite so bad as in dealing with human beings4 ,i heard ,ralph ,waldo ,emerson speak too4 8,civilization0 was his subject2 nobly treated1 except that the part of ,hamlet was left out of ,hamlet4 ,what is civilization without ,christianity8 ,there was a kind of religion in what he said2 an acknowledging of all those elements which are the result of ,christianity2 indeed1 ,emerson's life and character are such as ,christianity would shape4 ,he only refuses to call his inspiration by its right name4 ,the source of all great and good thought is in ,christ2 so ,i could listen to the ,sage of ,concord and recognize the voice of the ,master he will not own in words4 8,hitch your wagon to a star60 was his way of telling his hearers to live nobly1 according to the high principles which are at the heart of all life4 ,the easiest way to live1 he said1 was to follow the order of the ,universe4 ,so it is4 8,the stars in their courses fought against ,sisera20 but it was because ,sisera would go the opposite way to the stars4 ,this is the secret of our struggle1 and of our victory that will be4 ,we have entangled ourselves with wrong1 have gone contrary to the ,divine ,order2 now1 if we come out plainly and strongly on the right side1 we triumph2 for ,right cannot fail4 ,this war will make a nation of great and true souls2 if we fight for freedom4 ,and what else is worth the conflict1 the loss of life8 ,the ,union1 a ,country--a home8 ,yes1 if these may be preserved in honor and humanity1 not otherwise4 ,better be parceled out among the nations than keep the stigma of inhumanity upon our great domain4 ,freedom for slavery is no freedom to a noble soul4 ,february #ba4 ,i have often wondered what is the meaning of these dim forebodings1 that1 without any apparent cause1 will sometimes make us so uneasy4 ,the air is bright1 cold1 and clear2 everything without says1 8,rejoice and be strong60 everything within is darkened by vague1 unaccountable flutterings of anticipated ill4 ,no sorrow can come to me which will not involve some greater grief of other hearts1 so ,i dread the more what ,i have to dread4 ,i think ,i cannot say of anything that is dear to me1 that it is all my own2 can any one8 ,mothers1 lovers1 husbands1 wives--these have exclusive joys1 and exclusive losses to risk4 ,i can lose much1 for ,i love much2 yet there is nothing on earth that ,i can feel myself holding firmly as mine4 ,so ,i seek to live in others' joy and sorrow4 ,a life large and deep in its love1 is the privilege of those placed as ,i am2 it must be either that1 or quite unloving1 shut up in its own small case of selfishness4 8,when ,thou shalt enlarge my heart10 this large feeling of rest will be found4 ,i have plans floating in my mind for the education of my nieces4 ,i could not afford to have them here without a salary much increased4 ,i think ,i could conduct their education myself1 in some small school1 better than here1 more according to my own ideas2 whether that is really better or not1 only the results would show4 ,but some of their studies ,i know ,i could make more valuable to them than those to whom they might be trusted4 ,then ,i have an idea of moral1 religious1 and mental development going on at the same time1 which ,i do not often see carried out2 perhaps ,i should not do it1 but ,i should like to try4 ,having no children of my own ,i feel a responsibility for those who are nearest me4 ,how much of an effort one should make for such a purpose as this1 ,i do not know4 ,so far1 ,i have been evidently led into the way ,i ought to take2 may it be so still6 ,it was a new sight to me1 to see a long line of cavalry1 extending far out of sight down the street1 a forest of bayonets at first1 and then an army of horses4 ,it was our ,national ,guard2 and it looked like a strong defense1 that bristling line of bayonets2 but it made me very sad to think that men must leave home1 and peaceful occupations1 and moral influences1 to punish rebellious brethren1 and keep them in awe4 ,war1 as a business1 is one that ,i cannot learn to believe in1 although ,i must realize it as a necessity4 ,february #bf4 ,for any of us to comprehend thoroughly ,kant1 ,fichte1 ,schelling1 ,hegel--to say nothing of the plainer sensualistic systems--in the little time we can give to the study1 is quite out of the question4 ,and yet it does these young girls good to know that there is a region of thought above and beyond their daily track1 and if they should ever have time1 they may enjoy exploring it4 ,besides1 the habit of looking upon life in a large way comes through philosophy ,christianized4 ,the right use of our faculties in a reverent search for truth is certainly worth much thought and painstaking from man or woman4 ,to live a child-like1 religious life in all things is what ,i would do2 simply receiving light and life from the love revealed within1 and so1 as a child1 claiming the inheritance of the world without1 which was created by the same ,love for loving souls2 but the earthly cleaves to me2 ,i lose simplicity of soul in the world's windings4 ,yet ,i own but one ,life1 one ,lord and ,redeemer2 in ,him only shall ,i find for myself the simplicity of the child and the wisdom of the ,seraph4 ,in ,him all things are mine4 ,beautiful ideals may deceive one4 ,because we see and can talk about noble things1 does it follow that we can live them8 ,i fear not always4 ,march #e4 ,my birthday1--and ,i am as much gratified as any child to find fragrant and beautiful flowers in my room1 placed there by loving hands4 ,and1 what was very beautiful to me1 the trim-berry vine which ,i have kept in a dish of moss all winter1 this morning put forth one hesitating1 snow white blossom1 another followed before noon1 and to-night there are four1 as delicate in perfume as in color2 it is so sweet1 that the woods give me this pretty memento of their love to-day2 it is a promise of spring1 too2 of the multitudes of just such white blossoms that are waiting patiently under the snow-banks to give themselves away in beauty and fragrance by and by4--,to-night1 for the first time1 ,i met some of our scholars to talk with them of deep and sacred truths4 ,i hardly know how ,i did it2 it seemed hard at first1 and yet it was easy1 for the words seemed to be spoken through me4 ,i will try not to shrink from it again4 ,and ,i will endeavor to keep it before myself and others1 that ,christianity is simply a receiving and living out the life of ,christ2 not a thing of theories and emotions1 but a life4 ,i will say it to these pages1 because ,i feel it so bitterly sometimes1 and cannot speak it out here without offense1 that there is too much of the 8tearing open of the rosebud0 in talking with those who are seeking the truth4 ,some are thought to be indifferent or untrue1 because they will not speak of their deepest feelings to anybody who asks them4 ,it is a shameful mistake2 it must accompany a low standard of delicacy1 to say the least4 ,let me not call that pride or obstinacy1 which is the heart's natural reserve6 ,the deeper depths of the soul are sacred to one ,eye alone1 and so much as a shrinking soul may reveal to a friend1 it will4 ,i would discourage too free a conversation about one's own feelings2 it is dissipating1 except where a burdened soul must pour out itself to another for sympathy4 ,why cannot we leave our friends to find ,god in the silence of the soul1 since there is ,his abode8 ,march #aa4 ,we have had victories by sea and land4 ,to-night the news comes that ,manassas is occupied by our troops4 ,the 8,merrimac0 has made a dash from ,norfolk1 and destroyed two of our war vessels2 but the little iron-clad 8,monitor0 appeared and drove her back4 ,the coast of ,florida is forsaken by the rebels1 and our troops are taking possession4 ,everything is working for us now2 and it seems as if the rebellion must soon be strangled4 ,sometimes it seems to me as if these events were happening in a foreign country1 they touch me and mine so little in a way that we immediately feel4 ,this has been a day of 8clearing up10 and domestic reforms are never poetical4 ,taking down pictures and books1 and finding one's self reminded of neglected favorites by heaps of dust1 lost mementos coming up from forgotten corners1--after all1 there is some sentiment in it2 and1 in the midst of it1 three letters1 two of them touching my heart-strings right powerfully4 ,i have learned to live with a trusting heart and a willing hand from day to day1 and ,i have not a wish for more1 except that ,i might be able to help others as ,i am not now able4 ,if it is rest that is before me1 ,i dare not take it until ,i am more weary than now2--a home would withdraw me from the opportunity of educating my nieces1 perhaps4 ,no6 there can be nothing but single-handed work for others before me2 anything else would be but a temptation1 and perhaps one that ,i should not be able to bear4 ,i would be kept safe from everything but a plain opening to the life of self-sacrifice in the footsteps of our one true ,guide6 ,i will trust ,him for all1 and be at rest from the dread of too much sunshine1 as well as from fear of storms4 ,he knows what ,i need4 ,there is heart-heaviness for souls astray1 such as ,i have seldom felt1 weighing me down even now4 ,there is one poor girl1 half ruined1 and not knowing how to escape destruction1 for whom there seems no outlet but into the very jaws of death4 ,none but a ,divine ,power can help her2 yet ,he may do it by making human helpers appear for her4 ,how fearful a thing it is to be placed where there are brands to be plucked from burning4 ,and this is not the only one ,i know1 for whom all human efforts seem unavailing4 ,near and far away are those to whom my heart reaches out with nameless fears1 and hope unquenched and unquenchable1 till the lamp of life shall go out4 ,god save us all from shipwreck of soul6 for these drifting lives but show us the possibilities of our own4 ,with poor little ,prince ,arthur1 ,i can sometimes say heartily1 8,would ,i were out of prison1 and kept sheep40 ,one long summer all out of doors1 what new life it would give me6 ,yet ,i would not have this winter's memory left out of my life for much4 ,some new openings into true life1 here and beyond1 come with every season4 ,march #af4 ,i have been trying to hold some plain converse with myself1 and ,i am more and more convinced that sincerity is not the thorough spirit of my life1 as ,i would have it4 ,it is so easy to take one's fine theories1 and the frequent expression of them1 in the place of the realities they stand for4 ,i really fear that ,i have been trying to impose these fine theories upon ,him who knows my heart1 in the place of true love4 ,i believe in self-forgetfulness1 in constant thought for others1 in humility1 in following the light of the unseen ,presence within the soul1 but ,i do not live out these ideas1 except in languid and faltering efforts4 ,now in this way1 is not my life going to be a false one1 false to man and ,god8 ,discouraging indeed it is1 to think much of self2 and it is well that we need not do it4 ,there is life1 there is truth to be had for the asking4 ,only the ,christ-life within can make me true before heaven and earth and my own heart4 ,yet even here ,i feel myself so apt to dwell upon the beautiful theory of a present ,redeemer as to forget that in the trifles of a daily intercourse with human beings1 this life is to be manifested1 if at all4 ,thoroughly unselfish--shall ,i ever be that8 ,i was glad to talk with my ,bible scholars about the resurrection to-day4 ,it has come to be the most real of all revealed truths to me4 ,our ,lord is risen1 and we have a ,redeemer to stand by our souls in the struggles of this human life4 ,he is risen1 and we shall arise from the dead1 and go home to ,him1 8and so be forever with the ,lord40 ,he is risen1 and all ,his and our beloved are risen with ,him2 they are 8alive from the dead forevermore40 ,he is risen1 and we rise with ,him from the death of sin1 into the new life of holiness which he has brought into the world4 ,he said1 8,because ,i live1 ye shall live also40 ,beverly1 ,april #e4 ,two1 almost three1 weeks of the vacation are gone4 ,it is ,saturday night1 and after a week of fine spring weather1 there is another driving snowstorm1 which makes us all anxious1 as our good brother ,isaac has just sailed from ,boston2 but perhaps he is at anchor in the ,roads2 they would not start with the signs of a north-east storm at hand4 ,bound for ,sumatra1 to be gone a year1 perhaps two4 ,how we shall all miss him6 ,he is one of the really kind-hearted1 genial men1 who know how to make home and friends happy1 just by being what they are2 no effort1 no show about it1 genuine goodness of heart making itself always felt4 ,i have had a week of visiting1 also4 ,curious contrasts one finds1 in passing from family to family2 each has its own peculiar essence or flavor1 its home element1 or lack of the same2 sometimes its painful peculiarity1 which it seems almost dishonorable for a guest to notice1 or ever even to think of1 afterwards4 ,one thing is plain1--the worldly-prosperous learn with most difficulty the secret of home-rest2 whoever loves show has not the true home-love in him4 ,those are the happiest family circles which are bound together by intangible1 spiritual ties1 in the midst of care1 poverty1 and hard work1 it may be4 ,whether rich or poor1 a home is not a home unless the roots of love are ever striking deeper through the crust of the earthly and the conventional1 into the very realities of being1--not consciously always2 seldom1 perhaps2 the simplicity of loving grows by living simply near nature and ,god4 ,and ,i have looked into some pleasant homes during this brief visit4 ,homes where little children are1 are always beautiful to me1 for the children's sake1 if for nothing more4 ,cherub-like or impish1 the little folks fascinate me always4 ,if ,i were a mother1 ,i am afraid ,i should never want my baby to grow up2 and who knows whether the babies that die do not keep the charm of infancy upon them forever8 ,so many little children ,i have loved have gone home with tiny life-torches just filling some small domestic world with light1 a light that could not go out1 and which perhaps heaven needs to make it perfect heaven4 ,but the best visit of all is always to ,amesbury1 to the friendly poet1 and my loving ,lizzie1 his sister2 dearer and dearer she seems to me1 now so alone1 without her mother4 ,since ,esther went away1 my longing love goes after this friend1 my own ,elizabeth1 as if1 when ,heaven opened to receive one friend1 a golden cord were flung down to us two1 to bring us nearer each other and nearer the beloved ones up there4 ,but theirs is a home in each other's love which makes earth a place to cling to for its beauty yet4 ,if ,i could not think of them together there1 of the quiet light which bathes everything within and around their cottage under the shadow of the hill1 of the care repaid by gentle trust1 of the dependence so blessed in its shelter of tenderness and strength1 the world would seem to me a much drearier place2 for ,i have never seen anything like this brother's and sister's love1 and the home-atmosphere it creates1 the trust in human goodness and the ,divine ,love it diffuses into all who enter the charmed circle4 ,i love to sit with my friends in the still ,quaker worship2 there is something very soothing in the silence of the place to me1 and in glancing upon the faces around me1 where 8the dove of peace sits brooding40 ,then and there1 ,i have often felt the union of all hearts in the truth1 where there is no thought of opinion1 or sect1 or creed1 but the one wide communion of trust in one ,father and ,redeemer which is ,his church2 the gathering of all souls in ,him4 ,april #ag4 ,i feel better prepared to write than ,i ever have1 and ,i feel a greater desire to say what ,i am able to say1 if ,i may4 ,i do not know what my greatest use in life is yet1 whether ,i can do more by teaching or by writing2 ,i wait to be shown and to be guided1 and ,i believe ,i shall be4 ,april #bb4444 ,the best preparation for death is to be alive as fully as one is capable of being2 for the transition is not from life to death1 but from life to life2 more life always4 ,and the time when we are to be called hence need not trouble us1 or the way3 it is in the heart of the ,father to do the best thing for us forever4 ,may #d4 ,i have been to ,esther's grave1 and found ,spring there1 a glimpse of the immortal sunshine and blossoming in which she lives4 ,i have found love growing for me in her home1 in one young1 glad heart2 and in one life-worn and sorrow-worn4 ,i have felt her spirit living and breathing yet in her earthly home2 from her flowers1 her books1 her domestic life1 in all the atmosphere of the places haunted by her footsteps1--the home where she lived and loved and suffered1 the lovely resting-place of her dust by the river side4 ,of such lives as hers new life is born1 and ,i have brought back with me a deeper reality to live in1 heaven bends nearer over me1 earth is lifted up to heaven4 ,i only needed to breathe in another1 freer atmosphere than this2 and the dear ,lord sent me just where it was best for me to go4 ,scarcely could ,i have found anything so good for my soul's health1 this side of the 8fields beyond the swelling flood10 where ,esther1 my heart's sister1 walks with the ,angels in the bloom of immortal health and loveliness4 ,it is strange1 but ,i seem to know her more humanly now than when she was here4 ,i saw her but once or twice2 she was to me as a spirit1 a voice in the wilderness1 to guide and to cheer4 ,now ,i feel how she wore the same robes of flesh1 wearily and painfully1 yet cheering and blessing household and friends by her patient1 tender love4 ,i never thought before how beautiful it would be to visit the ,holy ,land--to tread in the ,lord's footsteps4 ,i had thought that the spirit-love might be dimmed by traces of the earthly2 but it is not so2 ,i have tracked the footsteps of this loving pilgrim through the ,gethsemane and ,olivet of her ,holy ,land of home1 and ,i know her and hers more truly2 ,i am hers1 and she is mine more surely now forever4 ,may #aj4 ,heaven is a place1 a home1 a rest3 but it is a ,spiritual habitation1 ,truth and ,love and ,peace are the pillars that support it2 and it is the truthful1 the loving1 and the holy only who may enter in4 ,how then1 ,o beloved ,guide1 may such as ,i8 ,because ,thou hast drawn me by love to ,love1--hast given an 8earnest0 of that life even here1 imparting new sympathies1 hopes1 and aspirations1 infusing ,thine own life into mine1 and ,thou wilt never forsake ,thine own work1 ,thine own home6 ,yet so imperfectly ,i hear and follow ,thee1 so slow1 so cold1 so hard my nature yet1--when the summons comes1 will it not find me lagging on the heavenly road1 hardly at home within the beautiful gates8 ,so many die with noble purposes half-grown into achievement1 so many live but half in the light1 and yet the ,light is in them1--how will it be with them1 and with me2 how shall the stains of the mortal be put off8 ,death has no cleansing power1 and defilement may not enter heaven4 ,there is a mystery here which is too painful2 yet we know not what that other life is1 nor how hereafter1 more than here1 the ,shepherd leads ,his own4 ,always it is by paths they have not known2 and what new and wonderful ministries may be prepared for us there1 who have sought ,him through all our faltering and waywardness here1 ,he knows2 and it is good to trust ,him always1 and for all things4 ,sabbath1 ,may #aa4 ,esther's letters are a constant comfort to me2 they say more to me now1 about some things1 than they did while she was alive4 ,i love to keep them near me--in sight4 ,does she know how happy she makes me every day ,i live1 how rich ,i am in the inheritance of love she has left me8 ,ah6 how little can ,i tell what she is doing for me now6 ,but the 8idea of her life0 seems growing into all my thoughts4 ,i could not have known her as ,i do if she had not gone away1 to return in spirit2 and ,i can see her1 too1 moulding the lives of others she loved most dearly4 ,there is more of heaven in this ,spring's sunshine than ,i have seen for years4 ,i owe my acquaintance with ,robertson to her2 a gift she sent me out of deepest pain1 when she was passing through the fires1 and none but ,jesus knew4 ,i use his thoughts on the epistle to the ,corinthians with my class these ,sunday mornings2 that is1 ,i read the ,apostle's words1 then ,robertson's1 then the ,apostle's again1 and afterward talk with the scholars from the things which ,i have1 in both ways1 received4 ,and by the kindling eyes and earnest looks of all1 especially of some whose natures have seemed indolent and unspiritual1 ,i feel assured that the living thought is sometimes found and received mutually4 ,a soul must drink the truth1 bathe in it1 glow with its life1 in order to impart it to another soul2 and it is to me a source of gratitude which ,i can never exhaust1 that such as ,robertson and my ,esther 8have lived and died40 ,may #ac4 ,yesterday morning the news came of the surrender of ,norfolk1 and1 in a sudden burst of patriotism1 the school went out and marched round the ,liberty pole1 under the ,stars and ,stripes1 singing 8,hail ,columbia10 and cheering most heartily4 ,the defeat of the rebels--happily bloodless--was attended with the usual amount of vandalism1 burning of buildings1 ships1 etc4 ,the stolen ship 8,merrimac10 transformed into an iron-fanged rebel war steamer1 was blown up2 we are all glad her race is run4 ,and the vandalism of the rebels is but another proof to the world of the worth of their cause1 the desperate situation in which they find themselves1 and on which side of the contest barbarism lingers4 ,all hearts are lighter now4 ,the doom of this demoniac rebellion is sealed4 ,there is no longer any slavery in the ,district of ,columbia1 and doubtless the whole infamous 8system0 shall be drowned out in the blood of this war4 ,if not1 it will seem to have been shed in vain4 ,may #ba4 ,c---- has gone into the army2 but first he has 8joined the army of the ,lord10 as he expresses it in his letter to his mother4 ,if ever mortals could hear the angels rejoicing 8over one that repenteth10 ,i should think ,i had heard them to-day1 while ,i read this news4 ,so much anxiety lest here should be a shipwrecked soul1 so many have been pained about him1 and burdened for him1--so little faith or hope some of us had1 as to the possibility of his rising out of his old self into a better life1--all these memories come back1 and make it seem like a miracle2 and indeed it is the greatest of all miracles4 ,and when he writes1 8,aunt ,lucy may feel as if her prayers were being answered10 it seems to me as if ,i had nothing but unbelief to remember4 ,it is the mighty hand of ,god1 if he is saved6 ,he goes into temptation1 but he goes hopeful1 and longing to prove himself a 8good soldier of the ,cross40 ,and now he needs to be followed with faith and prayer more than ever4 ,it seems to me as if this were realizing for the first time1 what 8conversion0 means2 that it is a reality1 and not a term which custom has made mere cant4 ,he speaks of himself in a free1 simple way1 as ,i never could have spoken2 and yet it is genuine4 ,oh1 if it might unloose more hearts and tongues6 ,may #bc4 444 ,i am so glad to be needed1 as ,i seem to be now1 by several of my friends3 my thoughts1 my care1 my suggestions seem of some value4 ,it is a woman's want1 and ,i feel a woman's gratification in being allowed to think a little for others4 ,for a great school like this1 ,i never feel that ,i can do much2 ,i want to know just the especial need of somebody that ,i can help4 ,so human nature goes3 absorbed by petty miseries quite as much as by grand and beautiful ideas2 who would think1 sometimes1 that such as we could be immortal beings8 ,i have felt myself growing very skeptical for a little while1 of late4 ,a cold thrill creeps insidiously through me when ,i go among people2 there is so little apparent reality in human lives1 loves1 friendships4 8,all seek their own20 and when there is a gleam of unselfishness1 it is but a passing gleam4 ,and1 worst of all1 when ,i am with those whose lives are pitched in a low key1 ,i find myself taking it for granted that it is life4 ,june #g4 ,two trials came to me this week1 trials to patience which ,i seldom have1 yet both very trifling4 ,one came from a selfish woman1 who would misunderstand me1 and imagine that ,i was troubling her1 when ,i was trying to do just the opposite2 this ,i must bear in silence1 for it is a case when doing and letting alone are accounted alike grievous4 ,another was from the whims of school-girls1 which they would persevere in1 though to their own serious discomfort4 ,how to meet such things with simple meekness1 and not with a desire to let people suffer the consequences of their own mistakes1 is something1 which1 old as ,i am1 ,i have not yet learned4 ,the constant frets of this kind that some have to bear1 ,i have been saved from2 people are generally too generous and thoughtful of me4 ,how miserable some families must be6 and what a wretched life it must be1 just to be left to the indulgence of one's own foolish and selfish whims6 ,june #aa4 ,this week ,i wrote letters which decide my going to ,connecticut1 to ,esther's mother1 next year4 ,it is strange that it seemed so hard for me to decide upon so pleasant a thing2 but somehow it is as if this were altogether a different thing from my usual plans2 as if there were hidden links in spiritual chains influencing my decision1 and to result from it4 ,i do not know whether ,i have decided right1 but ,i believe some good will come out of it1 in some way4 ,if ,i can make a desolate home a little happier1 it will be worth going for2 but that is just the thing ,i fear ,i shall not do4 ,june #bb4 444 ,i was most wretchedly tried1 to-day1 by a bungler in dentistry1 and then worried and vexed by two hours' hurried and dissatisfied shopping4 444 ,i know that ,i am loved and valued here1 and yet ,i want to go away4 ,i do not think of any place where ,i long to go1 but only somewhere into a different life3 into more trials ,i am sure it will be1 when ,i do go1 but that does not frighten me4 ,i am growing callous with the constant repetition of the same blessings4 ,i need to suffer1 to be shaken sorely through all my life1 then perhaps ,i shall learn not to be so ungrateful or indifferent to anything ,god sends4 ,july #i4 ,if ,atlas had undertaken to keep a journal of his state of mind1 while holding the world on his shoulders1 he might have been successful and he might not2 and it might or might not have been worth while4 ,i don't want to 8keep a journal0 exactly1 but ,i want to try the effect of writing every day1 as much to keep up the habit as anything else4 ,but how to catch the moments from between the busy hours8 ,i am to be here another anniversary1--no help for it1 though greatly against my wishes3 the work that comes with it does not seem to me very profitable to anybody in particular1 and the hardest of it comes upon me4 ,i dislike shows and preparation for shows2 but there is no escaping4 ,there is an interest in helping the girls do their parts well1 only they and ,i both fear ,i help them too much sometimes4 444 ,at night a most kind letter from my editor friend with a most liberal enclosure for services rendered4 ,the nobleness and genial spirit of the man is more to me even than his liberality4 ,it is a comfort to write for those who receive in the spirit of one's giving4 ,and to-day a letter from a young nephew1 confiding to me his longings for a better life1 and asking for suggestions and advice4 ,this is a joy that brought tears to my eyes2 not that ,i can do much for him1 except by helping him to keep those aspirations alive2 by sympathy and by living such a life as he seeks4 ,it is like a miracle1 in these days1 when a young man like him really is interested in such things6 ,an upright1 moral one too1 with few bad habits1 and the promise of a successful worldly career4 ,beverly1 last of ,july4 ,the war moves on1 but slowly4 ,the 8rallying0 meetings to raise the ,president three hundred thousand men seem like an attempt at galvanizing patriotism into life4 ,blindness is come upon the people in some way1 for some reason3 it is not as in the old ,revolutionary days2 and yet this cause is greater4 ,but we will not dare to say that we are fighting for anything but the ,government4 ,we leave ,god out1 and all becomes confused4 ,july #bi4 ,another death2 ,c----1 the stray lamb so long1 has been called into the upper fold4 ,his was a wonderful change1 as marked as ,st4 ,paul's1 almost1 and his last letter from the camp was one that will be a lifelong comfort to his friends1 so full of faith in ,god1 submission to ,his will1 an entire readiness to die1 and yet a wish to live that the past might be redeemed4 ,he died on the #beth of ,june1 while his division of the army was passing from ,corinth to ,memphis1 after having suffered much from fever1 and other complaints incident to a weakened constitution in a new climate1 and among the hardships of war4 ,he had his wish2 his long desire to be a soldier was gratified2 once he was under fire2 the air full of bullets around him1 and one striking within two feet of his head4 ,but he was not to die in battle2 disease1 that he dreaded more1 laid him low2 he longed for civilization1 was weary of the great ,southern forests2 but there he was to lay his weary head for his last sleep4 ,and now his mother is all alone in the world1 and almost broken-hearted4 ,one after another1 husband and four children have gone1 and she is a widow and childless4 ,but to think of the thousands of homes that this war has desolated1 the thousands of hearts well-nigh broken6 ,is it not enough8 ,no1 for the purification of the nation has not yet been wrought out2 the scourge is needed yet2 the gulf yet yawns for that which is dearest in all the land1 and the war will not cease until it is closed4 ,not to a proud1 self-confident people will the victory be given1 but to the humble1 the trustful1 the nation that stays itself upon ,god1 and lives only for the highest principles1 and the highest love4 ,august #aj4 ,this week has been a more remarkable one than any in my life1 ,i believe1 in the way of seeing people ,i have heard of1 and had some little curiosity about4 ,last ,thursday was spent at ,andover1 and one of the golden days it was4 ,the day itself was one of shine and shadow just rightly blended2 and the place1 the well-known ,hill of the students1 was in its glory4 ,after sitting awhile in church1 where the learned ,professors1 ,park1 ,phelps1 and ,stowe1 sat in state 7,i wonder if ,professors dread anniversaries and conspicuous positions as we boarding-school teachers do67 we went up the hill to accept an invitation to lunch with ,mrs4 ,harriet ,beecher ,stowe4 ,it was beautiful as a page from one of her own story books4 ,mrs4 ,stowe herself ,i liked1 and her house and garden were just such as an authoress like her ought to have4 ,it all had what ,i imagine to be an ,english look1 the old stone house1 with its wild vines and trees brought into shape in picturesque walks1 and its cool refreshment-room looking off over the river1 the city1 and the far hills1 to the mountains2 the arrangement of the table1 too1 showing so much of the poetess4 ,i could not have called upon ,mrs4 ,stowe formally2 as it was1 nothing could have been much pleasanter1 of that kind4 ,then before ,i left ,i called upon some old friends2 a call which finished the day very delightfully2 for there1 besides the cordiality of really well-bred people1 ,i saw one of the sweetest specimens of girlhood that can be shown in ,new ,england1 ,i fancy4 ,beauty does not often fascinate me1 in its common acceptation2 but where there is soul in a young1 sweet face--modesty and intelligence that greet you like the fragrance of a rosebud before it is well opened--it is so rare a thing in these 8,young ,america0 days that it makes me a little extravagant in admiration1 perhaps4 ,saturday ,i spent at ,amesbury2 it was not quite like other visits1 for two other visitors were there2 yet ,i enjoyed one of them especially2 an educated mulatto girl1 refined1 lady-like in every respect1 and a standing reply to those who talk of the 8inferiority of the colored race40 ,it is seldom that ,i see any one who attracts me so much1 whose acquaintance ,i so much desire1 just from first sight4 ,she would like to teach at ,port ,royal1 but the government will not permit4 ,ah1 well6 my book ends with no prospect of the war's end4 ,three hundred thousand recruits have just been raised1 and as many more are to be drafted4 ,many talk as if there never was a darker time than now4 ,we have no unity of purpose2 the watchword is 8,fight for the ,government60 but that is an abstraction the many cannot comprehend4 ,if they would say1 8,fight for ,liberty--your own liberty1 and that of every ,american10 there would be an impetus given to the contest that1 on our side1 8drags its slow length along40 ,this is an extreme opinion1 our law-abiding people say1 but ,i believe we shall come to worse extremes before the war ends4 ,,chapter ,,vii4 ,,letters ,,and ,,work4 #ahfa-ahfh4 ,the regular routine of school-life was varied for ,miss ,larcom by charming invitations to ,boston where she met many literary friends1 and by her pleasant summer vacations1 which she always spent among the mountains4 ,the two following letters1 one to ,mr4 ,james ,t4 ,fields and one to ,mr4 ,whittier1 are interesting3-- ,,norton1 ,april #d1 #ahfa4 ,,dear ,,mr4 ,,fields1--,my thoughts ran into a kind of rhapsody1 all to themselves1 after that evening of pleasant surprises at your house4 ,i did not know it was fairy-land at #cg ,charles ,street1 nor did ,i dream of meeting so many of the ,genii1--if ,i had foredreamed or foreknown1 ,i suppose ,i should have thought it even more of an impossibility for me to go than ,i did4 ,i wasn't going to be so foolish as to send you this rhapsody1 but ,i have just got back to my own room after the wanderings of vacation1 and have hung up my ruined arch4 ,it is ,dolabella's1 on the ,coelian ,hill1 and it brings back so many pleasant reminiscences of those few hours among the treasures of your home-grotto that ,i am just in the mood for inflicting this out-of-date expression of my enjoyment upon ,mrs4 ,fields and you4 ,i don't pretend that it is poetry1 and if you are ashamed of me1 for running on so1 please remember that you shouldn't have shown me so many curious and beautiful things2--,i am not used to them4 ,i have heard that ,miss ,cushman is to play next week4 ,is it true8 ,if it is1 and if you know before-hand what evenings she will appear as ,lady ,macbeth or ,meg ,merrilies1 will you be so kind as to tell ,mr4 ,robinson1 who will let me know1 and who has promised to accompany me to the theatre8 ,i have always wanted to see her in some of her great rles1 and now more than ever1 since ,i have seen her as a noble woman4 ,what a wonderful statue that 8,lotus ,eater0 is6 ,i was never so 8carried away0 with anything in marble6 ,with remembrances to ,mrs4 ,fields1 ,gratefully yours1 ,,lucy ,,larcom4 ,this poem was enclosed in the above letter3-- ,was it a dream ,or waking vision of the gracious night8 ,did ,i on that enchanted isle alight1 ,aye blossoming in ,shakespeare's line1 ,with forms and melodies divine1-- ,where all things seem ,ancient yet ever new beneath the hand ,of ,prospero and his arial band8 ,at every turn a change ,to something rich and strange1-- ,embodied shapes of poets' fantasies3 ,glimpses of ruins old ,slow fading from the blue ,italian skies2 ,and runes of wizards bold2 ,or beautiful or quaint ,memorials of bard1 and sage1 and saint1 ,in many an antique tome4 ,there was some necromancy in the place3 ,the air was full of voices wondrous sweet2 ,crowned shadows of past ages came to greet ,their living peers1 who lately lent new grace ,to genius-haunted ,rome2 ,and when the lady of the grotto spoke1 ',twas like ,miranda1 when at first she woke ,to ,love1 lighting the wild sea with her smile ,star of her beautiful and haunted isle2 ,and the magician1 who ,such harmony and beauty round him drew1-- ,he was her ,ariel and ,ferdinand ,blended in one1 ,and heir to ,prosper's wonder-working wand4 ,he charmed the sprites of power ,for one familiar hour1 ,and ,story-land and ,dream-land deftly won ,to his home-nook the moonlit stream beside3 ,hushed and apart ,though in the city's heart1 ,there dwell they long1 the poet and his bride6 ,,to ,j4 ,g4 ,,whittier4 ,,norton1 ,mass41 ,september #h1 #ahfa4 ,why is it that ,i always miss thy visits8 ,why of all things should ,i have lost sight of thee at the mountains8 and when ,i was so near thee too6 ,i cannot think why so pleasant a thing should be withheld from me1 unless because ,i enjoy it too much4 ,i have no other such friends as thee and ,elizabeth1 and when anything like this happens it is a great disappointment4 ,but ,i said all the time that seeing the hills with you could only be a beautiful dream4 ,i felt the beauty of those mountains around the ,lake1 as ,i floated among them1 but ,i wished for thee all the while2 because ,i have always associated thee with my first glimpse of them1 and somehow it seems as if they belonged to thee or thee to them1 or both4 ,they would not speak to me much2 ,i needed an interpreter3 and when they grew so dim and spectral in the noon haze1 they gave me a strange almost shuddering feeling of distance and loneliness4 ,but ,i am glad thee saw the ,notch ,mountains1 and those grand blue hills up the river that ,i used to watch through all their changes4 ,i am glad ,miss ,b---- saw thee1 for she was as much disappointed as ,i when we gave up the hope of your coming4 ,i felt almost certain you would both come2 ,i wanted ,lizzie to know the mountains4 ,is it right to dream and plan for another year8 ,how ,i should like to go to ,franconia with thee and ,elizabeth to see those great gates of the ,notch open gradually wider and wider1 and then to pass through to a vision of the vast range beyond6 ,it is but a vague memory to me2 ,i long to take that journey again4 ,but everything has wearied me this summer1 and ,i feel almost like dropping my dreams and never expecting anything more4 ,it is doubtless wiser to take what a kind ,providence sends1 just as it comes3 yet who is always wise8 ,twice ,i rested in the sight of your beautiful river and on that cottage doorstep at ,campton1 looking off to the mountains4 ,but the sea tired me with its restlessness4 ,i wanted to tell it to be still4 ,and ,i was very willing to get back from it to the quiet of my room1 to the shelter of these friendly elms1 and to the steady cheerful music of crickets and grasshoppers4 ,i shall be very happy to try to write a hymn for the ,horticultural ,association1 as you request2 and will send you something as soon as ,i can4444 ,in the autumn of #ahfb1 ,miss ,larcom decided to give up teaching at ,wheaton ,seminary4 ,ill health for some time had made her complain of a constant sense of weariness in her head4 ,living in the crowded school when she longed for quiet1 and preparing her work for extra classes1 she became nervously exhausted2 so that when an invitation came from ,esther's mother1 requesting her to spend the winter in ,waterbury1 ,connecticut1 she readily accepted it4 ,she longed to be in the peaceful home made sacred by the presence of her beloved friend1 where she felt that by occupying ,esther's room1 sitting at her writing-desk1 and using her very bed1 she would enter into her spirit1 and help to fill the vacant place in a mother's heart4 ,at first there was something hallowed in the home of one so pure1--she 8felt it was holy ground10 and was 8half afraid to live my common life here20 but the close association with sad memories was depressing1 and the solitude1 while it gave her rest1 did not refresh her4 ,after having formed a lifelong friendship with ,franklin ,carter1 a half-brother of ,esther and afterwards ,president of ,williams ,college1 she returned1 first to ,norton for a little while1--then to ,beverly1 where she secured time for her writing1 which was now constantly absorbing her attention4 ,her poems1 written chiefly for weekly papers--since they were either on homely fireside topics or incidents of the war1 or else were religious meditations--were widely copied1 and found their way into the scrap-books of thoughtful households all over the land4 ,referring to the winter of #ahfc1 she said1 8,i have written for the newspapers this winter4 ,my ideas of the #8,atlantic' are too high for me often to offer it anything my thoughts let slip4 ,my standard is so far beyond my performances1 that ,i am very glad to let them glide away unnoticed1 and unnamed1 on the path of the weekly tide wave of print40 ,though ,mr4 ,fields was equal to the task of polite editorial refusal1 he gladdened her heart by occasionally accepting a poem4 ,it was through his literary judgment that 8,hilary10 that tender lyric of sea-sorrow1 with its wistfulness and pathos1 first saw the light2 and the indignant strains of 8,a ,loyal ,woman's ,no0 were first heard from the pages of the 8,atlantic40 ,these successes opened the way for poems of greater merit1 like the 8,rose ,enthroned40 ,her interest in the war was intense4 ,she followed eagerly the progress of the campaigns1 and rejoiced in every victory1 often writing verses to celebrate the events1 as in the case of the sinking ,merrimac3-- 8,gone down in the flood1 and gone out in the flame6 ,what else could she do1 with her fair ,northern name80 ,her satire was ready for those able-bodied men who1 when the drafting was talked of1 were suddenly seized with many varieties of disease1 or those who went a-fishing for the season--because mariners were exempt--or1 like one man1 who cut off three fingers1 hoping that the loss of these members would be sufficient to keep him at home4 ,she wanted to do something herself3 8,i am almost ashamed of these high sentiments in print1 because ,i really have done nothing for our dear country as yet4 ,these things sound conceited and arrogant to me1 under the circumstances1 but ,i only write from an ideal of patriotic womanhood1 and for my country-women40 ,she came near offering herself as a teacher for the 8,contrabands10 but some of her friends thought it unwise in the state of her health at the time1 and she concluded that she was not fitted for the work1 with the rather sad confession1 8,i have an unconquerable distrust of my own fitness for these angel ministries2 ,i fear ,i am not worthy to suffer4 ,i can think1 write1 and teach1 but can ,i live80 ,in ,august1 #ahfc1 she was called to the ,west by the serious illness of her sister ,louisa1 which terminated fatally4 ,,to ,,mrs4 ,,james ,t4 ,,fields4 ,,hammond1 ,,wis41 ,september #aa1 #ahfc4 444 and with her1 my pleasant dreams of home dissolve2 it was she who said she would make a home for me1 wherever ,i would choose4 ,the earthly outlook is lonelier than before2 but ,i must not yield to selfish regrets4 ,she has gone home1 in a sense more real than we often say of the dead4 ,her whole family had gone before her1--husband and four children had left her one after another4 ,her heart seemed broken when her youngest son died in the army1 last year2 she never recovered her strength after that blow4 ,i cannot mourn when ,i think of that glad reunion of a household in heaven1 but ,i cannot help the great blank that her death and my brother's have left in my life4 ,these family ties1 ,i find1 grow stronger as ,i grow older4 ,this prairie life does not now attract me at all4 ,a broad1 grand world opens out on every side1 but there is no choice in it4 ,you might as well take one level road as another4444 ,with the death of this sister1 in reality1 did dissolve the 8pleasant dreams of a home10 for ,miss ,larcom never had a home of her own1 though she longed for one1 and used to delight in speaking of the possibility of having one4 8,i will build my long-planned home among the mountains10 she used to say1 8and my friends shall bivouac with me all summer40 ,but her life was spent principally in boarding-houses1 or in the homes of others4 ,her resources never permitted her to own the bed on which she slept2 however1 she did own an old wooden lounge1 which was her only bed for years4 ,but she made the best of it1 in her usual way2 8,i like this old couch4 ,i like to be independent of things2 there is a charm in ,bohemian life40 ,on her return to ,beverly in #ahfd1 she took a few pupils again1 and spent a good deal of time in painting1--even weeds1 for she 8loved the very driest old stick that had a bit of lichen or moss on it40 ,she exhausted her friend's libraries in reading1 and received from ,mrs4 ,fields a large valise filled with precious volumes1 which she returned only after having read them all4 8,i like to be here in ,beverly with my sister and the children4 ,i think ,i am more human here than at school40 ,the following records were made with feeling in her diary4 ,april #aj1 #ahfe4 ,waked at five o'clock this morning1 to hear bells ringing for the surrender of ,lee's army2 robins screaming1 and guns booming from the fort4 ,the war's 8,finis20 ,glory ,hallelujah6 ,april #ae4 ,starting for ,boston1 the bells began to toll4 ,the ,president's assassination is the report4 ,the morning papers confirm the truth4 ,sadness and indignation everywhere4 ,the ,rebellion has struck its most desperate blow1 but the ,nation moves calmly on4 ,april #ai4 ,the ,president's funeral4 ,every place of business closed4 ,services in all the churches4 ,i went to the ,old ,south1 and heard a brief and indignant speech1 which received the people's earnest response4 ,may #ad1 ,sunday4 ,bells ringing for the capture of ,jeff ,davis4 ,in #ahfe1 ,miss ,larcom became one of the editors of the new magazine for young people1 8,our ,young ,folks10 and retained this position until #ahgb1 when 8,st4 ,nicholas0 inherited the good-will and patronage of the earlier magazine4 ,the orange-colored periodical bore her name1 and those of ,gail ,hamilton and ,trowbridge1 and usually contained a ballad or prose sketch by her1 or else she contributed some of the answers in the 8,letter ,box40 ,her work was performed with conscientiousness and good taste2 her sympathy with child-life made her a valuable assistant in making the magazine popular4 ,she was interested in its success3 8#8,our ,young ,folks' greatly delights grown people everywhere4 ,i am very glad of an occasional criticism that offers a hint of an improvement4 ,it must be made to distance all competitors in value1 as it does in patronage40 ,to be in a position where she had the power to reject or accept hundreds of manuscripts sent for approval1 interested her1 but she had so much sympathy for the struggling author1 that1 contrary to the usual custom of the 8,editorial ,department10 she often sent a personal note of explanation4 ,she could not help laughing over the strange letters she received1 though she usually answered them politely4 ,one woman wrote1 asking her advice as to the sale of three hundred barrels of apples4 ,musicians sent her music1 requesting her to write words to suit4 ,a young girl wrote that she was 8young1 poor1 and orphaned10 thus appealing to the editorial sympathies1 and requested her to arbitrate concerning the merit of two poems1 8,the ,angel ,whisper0 and 8,one of the ,chosen10 for some one had promised to give her five dollars and a new hat1 if her own poem should be successful4 ,modesty was not always a virtue with these applicants4 ,one wrote3 8,editors1 ,sir and ,madam1--,i send you a palindrome1 which you know is a curiosity4 ,i saw a list1 the other day1 said to be the best in the language1 but this excels them all1 as it represents a complete idea of spiritual philosophy4 ,i should like to open a school of ideas for children4 ,i believe this would add to your subscription list40 ,another announced the strange theory1 that 8languages were originated with references to correspondence between the visible and invisible world40 ,another facetiously remarked1 making application for a position1 8,anything but to count money1 for ,i have not had experience in this form of labor40 ,miss ,larcom published1 in #ahff1 the valuable collection of extracts from religious writings1--8,breathings of the ,better ,life40 ,it was received with warm welcome1 and reprinted in ,england1 without1 however1 being accredited to the author4 ,it contained the passages she had discovered in her reading of many books1 to which she wanted to give a wider circulation among those who might not possess the volumes4 ,this little book represents the development of her religious thought along deeply spiritual lines4 ,her favorite authors are represented1--,robertson1 ,bushnell1 ,tholuck1 and now and then a little poem by ,george ,herbert1 ,madame ,guyon1 or ,mrs4 ,browning is given4 ,the subjects treated are characteristic of her thought3 8,the ,kingdom within the ,soul10 8,the ,way of ,access10 8,life ,eternal10 8,shadows cast over ,other ,lives10 8,the ,bearing of the ,cross10 8,the ,fullness of ,life10 8,the ,illuminated ,gateway10 and 8,the ,glory ,beyond40 ,,to ,,mr4 ,j4 ,t4 ,,fields4 ,,beverly1 ,,mass41 ,may #bj1 #ahff4 ,,my ,,dear ,,mr4 ,,fields1--,before you escape for the summer1 ,i want to bother you with a word or two about the 8,breathings40 ,i find that people are imagining ,i have been very industrious this winter1 by the way they talk about my new book1 which they suppose is something original4 ,i don't want to give wrong impressions in that way1 as the selections are more valuable on their own account than on mine4 ,when it is time to announce it1 can it not be described as 8a compilation of brief extracts in prose and verse1 from favorite religious writers10 or something to that effect4 ,and must my name appear in full8 ,the commonplace 8,miss ,larcom0 ,i should like better than my usual staring alliteration2 as less obtrusive1 8,l4 ,l40 is better still4 ,and please let the book be as inexpensive as possible1 because it is my 8little preach10 and ,i want a large congregation of poor folks like myself4 ,my object in preparing it will be defeated1 if they cannot have it4 ,i don't calculate upon a 8paper fractional0 from it for myself1 so you can leave that entirely out of consideration4 ,it has been altogether a labor of love with me4 ,i wanted the good people to know who their best instructors are4 ,robertson above all1 who is the true apostle of this age1 within the ,church4 ,yours sincerely1 ,,lucy ,,larcom4 ,,to ,,mrs4 ,j4 ,t4 ,,fields4 ,,beverly1 ,,mass41 ,may #bf1 #ahff4 ,,dear ,,annie1--,if ,i could only make you feel the difference in myself coming home through the apple-blooms last night1 and going to ,boston ,wednesday morning1 ,i think you would know that you had not lived in vain1 for a few of the beautiful ,may-day hours4 ,i bring such refreshment from you always6 ,i wonder if you do not feel that something is gone out from you1 or are you like the flowers1 that find an infinite sweetness in their hearts1 replacing constantly what they give away8 ,so much ,i must say in love and gratitude1 and you must pardon it1 because it is sincere4 ,i have copied the rhyme note for you4 ,if ,i did not feel so very 8stingy0 7it's the word67 about our ,mr4 ,whittier's letters1 ,i should give you the original1 for ,i think it belongs to you almost as much as to me4 ,but possession is nine tenths of the law1 you know1 and ,i am a real miser about the letters of a friend1--ashamed as ,i am to own it to one so generous to me as you are4444 ,the 8rhyme note0 mentioned was a delightful doggerel from ,mr4 ,whittier4 ,,amesbury1 ,march #be1 #ahff4 ,believe me1 ,lucy ,larcom1 it gives me real sorrow ,that ,i cannot take my carpet-bag1 and go to town to-morrow2 ,but ,i'm 8,snow-bound10 and cold on cold1 like layers of an onion1 ,have piled my back1 and weighed me down1 as with the pack of ,bunyan4 ,the north-east wind is damper1 and the north-west wind is colder1 ,or else the matter simply is that ,i am growing older2 ,and then1 ,i dare not trust a moon seen over one's left shoulder ,as ,i saw this1 with slender horn caught in a west hill-pine1 ,as on a ,stamboul minaret curves the ,arch ,impostor's sign4 ,so ,i must stay in ,amesbury1 and let you go your way1 ,and guess what colors greet your eyes1 what shapes your steps delay1 ,what pictured forms of heathen love1 of god and goddess please you1 ,what idol graven images you bend your wicked knees to4 ,but why should ,i of evil dream1 well knowing at your head goes ,that flower of ,christian womanhood1 our dear good ,anna ,meadows6 ,she'll be discreet1 ,i'm sure1 although1 once1 in a fit romantic1 ,she flung the ,doge's bridal ring1 and married the 8,atlantic20 ,and spite of all appearances1 like the woman in the shoe1 ,she's got so many 8,young ,folks0 now she don't know what to do4 ,but ,i must say1 ,i think it strange that thee and ,mrs4 ,spalding1 ,whose lives with ,calvin's five-barred creed have been so tightly walled in1 ,should quit your ,puritanic homes1 and take the pains to go ,so far1 with malice aforethought1 to walk in a vain show6 ,did ,emmons hunt for pictures8 was ,jonathan ,edwards peeping ,into the chambers of imagery with maids for ,tammuz weeping8 ,ah1 well1 the times are sadly changed1 and ,i myself am feeling ,the wicked world my ,quaker coat from off my shoulders peeling2 ,god grant that1 in the strange new sea of change wherein we swim1 ,we still may keep the good old plank of simple faith in ,him6 ,p4,s4 ,my housekeeper's got the 8tissick10 and gone away1 and ,lizzie ,is at home for the vacation1 with flounce and trimmings busy2 ,the snow lies white about us1 the birds again are dumb1-- ,the lying blue-frocked rascals who told us ,spring had come2 ,but in the woods of ,folly-,mill the sweet ,may-flowers are making ,all ready for the moment of ,nature's glad awaking4 ,come when they come2 their welcome share3--except when at the city1 ,for months ,i've scarce seen womankind1 save when1 in sheerest pity1 ,gail ,hamilton came up1 beside my lonely hearth to sit1 ,and make the ,winter evening glad with wisdom and with wit ,and fancy1 feeling but the spur and not the curbing bit1 ,lending a womanly charm to what before was bachelor rudeness2-- ,the ,lord reward her for an act of disinterested goodness6 ,and now1 with love to ,mrs4 ,f41 and ,mrs4 ,s4 7,god bless her671 ,and hoping that my foolish rhyme may not prove a transgressor1 ,and wishing for your sake and mine1 it wiser were and wittier1 ,i leave it1 and subscribe myself1 your old friend1 ,,john ,g4 ,,whittier4 ,,to ,,mrs4 ,j4 ,t4 ,,fields4 ,,beverly1 ,june #ba1 #ahff4 ,,dear ,,annie1--,here ,i am once more by the salt sea1 and out of the beautiful retreat of the ,shakers1 where we said 8,good-by40 8,aunt ,mary0 told me ,i might come again1 and if it were not for the vision of that great dining-room1 and the 8two settings0 of brethren and sisters1 and the general wash-basin1 ,i should almost be tempted to go also1 and steep myself in that great quietness3 only one would need a book now and then1 and literature seems to be tabooed among them4 ,mr4 ,whittier was much interested to hear of our adventures4 ,i think ,i must have been eloquent about cider1 for he said1 8,i wish ,i had some of it this minute10 so earnestly that ,i wished ,i had my hand upon that invisible ,shaker barrel4444 ,,to ,,mrs4 ,,celia ,,thaxter4 ,,beverly1 ,july #af1 #ahfg4 ,,my ,,dear ,,friend1--,to think that yesterday ,i was among the ,enchanted ,isles1 and to-day here1 with only the warm murmur of the west wind among the elms6 ,the glory of the day and the far eastern sea lingers with me yet4 ,how ,i do thank you for those three bright days6 ,the undercurrent of memory would have been too much but for your kindness4 ,i think ,i kept it well covered1 but there was a vast unrest in me1 all those days4 ,i seemed to myself wandering over the turfy slopes1 and the rocks1 and the sea1 in search of a dream1 a sweet1 impalpable presence that ever eluded me4 ,i never knew how fully dear ,lizzie#f filled my heart1 until she was gone4 ,is it always so8 ,but that ,island is ,lizzie to me1 now4 ,it was the refuge of her dreams1 when she could not be there in reality4 ,her whole being seemed to blossom out into the immense spaces of the sea4 ,i am glad that ,i have been there once again1 and with only the dear brother1 and you whom she loved and admired so much4 ,for you are an enchantress4 ,it is a great gift to attract and to hold as you can1 and rare1 even among women4 ,to some it is a snare1 but ,i do not believe it ever can be to you1 because the large generosity of the sea was born into you4 ,how can you help it1 if your waves overblow with music1 and all sorts of mysterious wealth upon others of us humans8 ,i hope you beguiled our friend into a stay of more than the one day he spoke of4 ,it was doing him so much good to be there1 in that free and easy way2 just the life he ought to lead for half the year1 at least4 ,i shall always use my meagre arts most earnestly to get him to the ,island when you are there4 ,there is such a difference in human atmospheres1 you know2 the petty1 east-wind blighted inhabitants of towns are not good for the health of such as he4 ,i esteem it one of the wonderful blessings of my life that he does not feel uncomfortable when ,i am about4 ,with you1 there is the added element of exhilaration1 the rarest thing to receive1 as one gets into years4 ,it is a sacred trust1 the friendship of such a man4 ,,to ,,miss ,,jean ,,ingelow4 ,,beverly1 ,,mass41 ,december #ae1 #ahfg4 ,,my ,,dear ,,miss ,,ingelow1--,it was very kind of you to write to me1 and ,i can hardly tell you how much pleasure your letter gave me1 in my at present lonely and unsettled life4 ,i think a woman's life is necessarily lonely1 if unsettled3 the home-instinct lies so deep in us4 ,but ,i have never had a real home since ,i was a little child4 ,i have married sisters1 with whom ,i stay1 when my work allows it1 but that is not like one's own place4 ,i want a corner exclusively mine1 in which to spin my own web and ravel it again1 if ,i wish4 ,i wish ,i could learn to think my own thoughts in the thick of other people's lives1 but ,i never could1 and ,i am too old to begin now4 ,however1 there are compensations in all things1 and ,i would not be out of reach of the happy children's voices1 which echo round me1 although they will break in upon me rather suddenly1 sometimes4 ,you asked about the sea1--our sea4 ,the coast here is not remarkable4 ,just here there is a deep1 sunny harbor1 that sheltered the second company of the ,pilgrim settlers from the ,mother-,country1 more than two centuries ago4 ,a little river1 which has leave to be such only at the return of the tide1 half clasps the town in its crooked arm1 and makes many an opening of beauty twice a day1 among the fields and under the hills4 ,the harbor is so shut in by islands1 it has the effect of a lake2 and the tide comes up over the wide1 weedy flats1 with a gentle and gradual flow4 ,there are never any dangerous 8,high ,tides0 here4 ,but up the shore a mile or two1 the islands drift away1 and the sea opens gradually as we near the storm-beaten point of ,cape ,ann1 where we can see nothing but the waves and the ships1 between us and ,great ,britain4 ,the granite cliffs grow higher towards the ,cape1 but their hollows are relieved by little thickets of intensely red wild roses1 and later1 by the purple twinkling asters and the golden-rod's embodied sunshine4 ,the east wind is bitter upon our coast4 ,the wild rocks along the ,cape are strewn with memories of shipwreck4 ,perhaps you remember ,longfellow's 8,wreck of the ,hesperus40 ,the 8,reef of ,norman's ,woe0 is at ,cape ,ann1 ten miles or so from here4 ,about the same distance out1 there is a group of islands1--the ,isles of ,shoals1 which are a favorite resort in the summer1 and getting to be somewhat too fashionable1 for their charm is the wildness which they reveal and allow4 ,dressed up people spoil nature1 somehow2 unintentionally1 ,i suppose2 but the human butterflies are better in their own parterres4 ,at ,appledore1 one of the larger of these islands1 ,i have spent many happy days with the sister of our poet ,whittier1 now passed to the eternal shores1--and the last summer was there again1 without her1 alas6 ,i missed her so1 even though her noble brother was there6 ,perhaps that only recalled the lost1 lovely days too vividly4 ,i have seldom loved any one as ,i loved her4 ,these islands are full of strange gorges and caverns1 haunted with stories of pirate and ghost4 ,the old-world romance seems to have floated to them4 ,and there ,i first saw your ,english pimpernel4 ,it came here with the ,pilgrims1 ,i suppose1 as it is not a native4 ,it is pleasant to meet with these emigrant flowers4 ,most of them are carefully tended in gardens1 but some are healthily naturalized in the bleakest spots4 ,i should so like to see the daisies--,chaucer's daisies--in their native fields2 and the 8yellow primrose10 too4 ,neither of these grows readily in our gardens4 ,i have seen them only as petted house-plants4 ,i recognize some of our wild flowers in your 8,songs of ,seven40 ,by the way1 ,mr4 ,niles has sent me an illustrated copy of it1 and what a gem it is6 ,but ,i hardly know what are especially ours4 ,have you the tiny blue four-petaled 8,houstonia ,crulia08--our first flower of spring1 that and the rock-saxifrage6 ,and is ,october in ,england gladdened with the heavenly azure of the fringed gentian8 ,and does the climbing bitter-sweet hang its orange-colored fruit high in the deep green of the pine-trees1 in the autumn8 ,the most wonderful climber ,i ever saw was the trumpet-vine of the ,west4 ,it grew on the banks of the ,mississippi1 climbing to the top of immense primeval trees1 bursting out1 there1 into great red1 clarion-like flowers4 ,it seems literally to fix a foot in the trees as it climbs1--and it has an uncivilized way of pulling the shingles off the roofs of the houses over which it is trained4 ,i am glad that violets are common property in the world4 ,the prairies are blue with them4 ,how at home they used to make me feel6 for they are ,new ,england blossoms too4 ,i wonder if you like the mountains as well as you do the sea4 ,i am afraid ,i do1 and better1 even4 ,it seems half disloyal to say so1 for ,i was born here2 to me there is rest and strength1 and aspiration and exultation1 among the mountains4 ,they are nearly a day's journey from us--the ,white ,mountains--but ,i will go1 and get a glimpse and a breath of their glory1 once a year1 always4 ,i was at ,winnipiseogee1 a mountain-girdled lake1 in ,new ,hampshire1 when ,i saw your handwriting1 first1--in a letter which told of your having been in ,switzerland4 ,we have no sky-cleaving ,alps1--there is a massiveness1 a breadth1 about the hill scenery here1 quite unlike them1 ,i fancy4 ,but such cascades1 such streams as rise in the hard granite1 pure as liquid diamonds1 and with a clear little thread of music6 ,i usually stop at a village on the banks of the ,pemigewasset1 a small silvery river that flows from the ,notch ,mountains1--a noble pile1 that hangs like a dream1 and flits like one too1 in the cloudy air1 as you follow the stream's winding up to the ,flume1 which is a strange grotto1 cut sharply down hundreds of feet through a mountain's heart2 an immense boulder was lodged in the cleft when it was riven1 half way down1 and there it forever hangs1 over the singing stream4 ,the sundered rocks are dark with pines1 and ,i never saw anything lovelier than the green light with which the grotto is flooded by the afternoon sun4 ,but ,i must not go on about the mountains1 or ,i shall never stop1--,i want to say something about our poets1 but ,i will not do that1 either4 ,beauty drifts to us from the mother-land1 across the sea1 in argosies of poetry4 ,how rich we are with ,old ,england's wealth6 ,our own lies yet somewhat in the ore1 but ,i think we have the genuine metal4 ,how true it is1 as you say1 that we can never utter the best that is in us1 poets or not4 ,and the great true voices are so1 not so much because they can speak for themselves1 but because they are the voices of our common humanity4 ,the poets are but leaders in the chorus of souls--they utter our pans and our misereres1 and so we feel that they belong to us4 ,it is indeed a divine gift1 the power of drawing hearts upward through the magic of a song2 and the anointed ones must receive their chrism with a holy humility4 ,they receive but to give again1--8more blessed0 so4 ,and they may also receive the gratitude of those they bless1 to give it back to ,god4 ,i hope you will write to me again some time1 though ,i am afraid ,i ought not to expect it4 ,i know what it is to have the day too short for the occupations which must fill it1--to say nothing of what might1 very pleasantly1 too4 ,but ,i shall always be sincerely and gratefully yours1 ,,lucy ,,larcom4 ,,to ,j4 ,g4 ,,whittier4 ,,beverly1 ,february #bh1 #ahfh4 ,,my ,,dear ,,friend1--,nothing would be pleasanter to me than a visit to ,amesbury1 and the cold weather is no especial drawback4 ,but ,i cannot be away from ,beverly now1 my mother is so ill4 ,she has been suffering very much all winter1 but is now nearly helpless1 and ,i think she is rapidly failing4 ,she has an experienced nurse with her1 and there is little that any of us can do for her1 except to look in now and then1 and let her know that her children are not far away4 ,that seems to be her principal earthly comfort4 ,the coming rest is very welcome to her4 ,she lies peacefully hoping for it1 and she has suffered1 and still does1 such intense pain1 ,i cannot feel as ,i otherwise would about her leaving us4 ,but the rending of these familiar ties is always very hard to bear4 ,she has been a good1 kind mother to me1 and it is saddest of all to see her suffer without the power of relief2 to know that death only can end her pain4 ,i think of you often1 and wish ,i could sit down for an evening by the light of your cheery wood fire1 and have one of the old-time chats4 ,i am so glad that ,a---- is there1 to make it home-like4 ,i think my most delightful remembrances of ,amesbury are of that fireside1 and the faces gathered about it1 upon which the soft flow of the flames flickered and kindled1 with the playful and varying interchange of thought4 ,last ,sunday night ,i spent at ,harriet ,pitman's4 ,cold enough it was1 too4 ,but the greenhouse is a small edition of the tropics1 and full of blossoms and sweet odors4 ,i should want to live in it1 if ,i were there4 ,i do not know what to make of the aspect of things at ,washington4 ,it cannot be that we shall be left to plunge into another war1 and yet we may need it4 ,i do not see that our terrible struggle made the deep impression it should in establishing national principles4 ,only apathy to the most vital interests could have brought us to this pass4 ,it seems as if ,a4 ,j4 must show himself an absolute fiend1 before his removal is insisted upon4 ,miss ,larcom's mother died ,march #ad1 #ahfh4 ,the bereavement was great2 but the long illness had prepared her daughter for the affliction4 ,years afterwards she used to say that when in trouble or despondency1 like a child she wanted to cry out for her mother4 ,,chapter ,,viii4 ,,writings ,,and ,,letters4 #ahfh-ahhj4 ,though ,miss ,larcom's formal connection with school life ended when she left ,norton1 she continued to deliver occasional1 and sometimes weekly1 lectures at different schools1 on topics illustrating ,english literature4 ,in #ahfg1 and at intervals for years after1 at the ,ipswich ,academy1 at ,wheaton1 at ,dr4 ,gannett's school1 and at ,bradford ,academy1 the students never forgot her addresses on 8,criticism10 8,elizabethan ,poetry10 8,the ,drama10 and 8,sidney's #8,arcadia4'0 ,in spite of the fact that she received a fair salary from 8,our ,young ,folks10 and added to her resources by teaching and by printing poems in the magazines1 it was necessary for her to practice economy4 ,with the intention of being careful in her expenditures1 she took rooms in ,boston1 purchasing and cooking her own food4 ,she alluded to the plan thus3 8,in my housekeeping plan1 ,i am going to carry out a pet notion4 ,people generally prefer indigestible food1 ,i find2 at least1 ,i cannot often get what ,i can digest4 ,so ,i am going to teach myself to make unleavened bread1 and all sorts of coarse-grained eatables1 and these1 with figs and dates1 and baked apples1 and a little meat now and then1 will keep me in clover40 ,her friends1 hearing of the way in which she 8caricatured housekeeping10 sent her boxes full of good things4 ,it was with the pleasure of a school girl receiving a ,thanksgiving box1 that she acknowledged the receipt of eggs1 cranberries1 apples1 and 8such exquisitely sweet butter40 ,she proved that with very little expense one can be happy1 if the spirit is cheerful4 ,this incident is an illustration of a lifetime of economical living4 ,the year #ahfh was an important one to her1 for in it her first volume of verse was printed4 ,influenced by the wishes of her friends for a keepsake1 and feeling that1 if she published1 it would be a record of work done1 and from it1 as a mile-stone1 she would be encouraged to do better verse-making in the future1 she launched upon the literary market her book1 entitled simply 8,poems40 ,it contained many of the lyrics upon which her fame as a poet will always be based4 8,hannah10 and 8,skipper ,ben10 and 8,hilary0 have a place in it4 8,hand in ,hand with ,angels0 keeps before one the thought of unseen spiritual presences4 8,a ,year in ,heaven0 reminds one of the life beyond1 while 8,at the ,beautiful ,gate0 expresses the longing of the soul for greater truth3-- 8,lord1 open the door1 for ,i falter1 ,i faint in this stifled air40 ,the sweet quietude of 8,the ,chamber called ,peace0 surrounds the reader1 for it merited ,mr4 ,whittier's remark that 8it is really one of the sweetest poems of ,christian consolation ,i have read40 ,the rich1 full notes of 8,a ,thanksgiving0 are heard1 as a human soul pours forth its earnest gratitude3-- 8,for the world's exhaustless beauty1 ,i thank thee1 ,o my ,god60 ,about this poem1 ,rev4 ,j4 ,w4 ,chadwick said to her1 8,your #8,thanksgiving' has become ritual in my church4 ,if the people did not hear it every year1 they would think the times were out of joint40 ,miss ,ingelow wrote her that she liked best 8,a ,white ,sunday10 with its hopeful lines1 expressing 8the earnest expectation of the creature30-- 8,the ,world we live in wholly is redeemed2 ,not man alone1 but all that man holds dear3 ,his orchards and his maize2 forget-me-not ,and heart's-ease1 in his garden2 and the wild ,aerial blossoms of the untrained wood1 ,that makes its savagery so home-like2 all ,have felt ,christ's sweet ,love watering their roots ,his ,sacrifice has won both ,earth and ,heaven40 ,the 8,poems0 were well received everywhere1 and the reviewers were generally most complimentary4 ,it was seen at once that a real poet1 of true inspiration1 had taken a permanent place in ,american literature4 ,the musical modulations of the verse1 with its tender lyrical quality1 its local ,new ,england coloring1 and its strong moral sentiment1 soon gained her the affections of the people4 ,the name 8,lucy ,larcom0 was now well known2 but1 curiously enough1 it was not associated with her personality1 for it was thought to be a fictitious name1 with 8,apt alliteration's artful aid40 ,a habit common among certain authors of the day was to have such euphonious noms de plume as 8,minnie ,myrtle10 8,fanny ,forrester10 8,grace ,greenwood20 and it was natural that 8,lucy ,larcom0 should be classed with them4 ,she often had amusing encounters with strangers about her identity4 ,on the cars one day1 a woman changed her seat for one in front of ,miss ,larcom1 and1 turning round1 put the question1 8,are you really ,lucy ,larcom1 the poet8 ,some one said you were40 8,yes1 that is my name40 8,then it is not a made-up name8 ,well1 we never thought it was real when we read your pieces2 and we thought you were younger40 8,i am sorry to disappoint you40 8,oh6 ,you don't disappoint me6 ,i like the looks of you2 only1 people will have their ideas about poets40 ,a gentleman who had just been introduced to her was discussing the subject of names4 ,he asked the derivation of her name2 she told him that it was originally 8,lark-,holme10 the home of the larks2 then he said1 8,is there not some one who takes your name1 and writes poetry1 calling herself #8,lucy ,larcom'8 ,i never read any of the stuff40 ,in #ahgb1 she did her first work of collaboration with ,mr4 ,whittier4 ,conceiving the plan of printing a volume of poems dealing with the life of children1 he secured her aid1 and 8,child-,life0 was the first book which they produced in this way4 ,he deferred to her judgment in the selection of the material1 and1 when doubtful1 he always accepted her opinion4 ,in sending her some poems for the collection1 he wrote1 8,i leave thee to thy judgment2 ,i think they will do1 but ,i defer to thy wisdom40 ,her name is thus associated with the happy hours of many children1 who were1 and are1 brought up on the wholesome verses of this nursery book4 8,the ,owl and the ,pussycat10 8,the ,spider and the ,fly10 and 8,philip1 my ,king10 with appropriate pictures1 first became known to thousands of children1 from this green-covered daily companion4 8,child-,life in ,prose0 came as a natural sequel to child-life in poetry2 and ,hawthorne's 8,little ,annie's ,ramble10 ,lamb's 8,dream ,children10 8,the ,ugly ,duckling0 of ,hans ,andersen1 and 8,the ,story without ,end10 were made familiar through the medium of its pages4 ,doubtless influenced by these publications1 ,miss ,larcom decided to print1 in a volume of her own1 the children's poems she had written1 especially those for 8,our ,young ,folks20 so in #ahgc her 8,childhood ,songs0 appeared4 ,,amesbury1 ,november #be1 #ahgd4 ,,dear ,,friend1--,i have just been looking over the beautiful book of 8,childhood ,songs10 and my judgment is1 that it is the best book of the kind ,i have ever seen4 ,it has many poems1 which1 beside their adaptation to children1 have a merit as lyrics1 which ,i do not know where to look for in other collections of this sort4 ,the heart is generally right in such books1 but here head and heart are both satisfactory4 ,we did not get up so good a book as this in our 8,child-,life40 ,thy friend1 ,j4 ,g4 ,,whittier4 ,,to ,,mrs4 ,,mary ,,mapes ,,dodge4 ,,beverly ,,farms1 ,december #c1 #ahgd4 ,,dear ,,mrs4 ,,dodge1--,the publishers assure me that they sent you a copy of 8,childhood's ,songs10 as ,i requested4 ,i hope you received it1 at last4 ,i care to have you like it1 as a lover of children1 quite as much as to have it spoken of in the magazine4 ,your own little book must be nice2 ,i hope to see it when ,i go to ,boston4 ,doubtless you are right about the verses4 ,i always accept an editor's decision1 without objecting1 as ,i know the difficulties of the position4 ,i will write when ,i can4 ,for a month or two1 ,i shall be specially busy1 and possibly may not have time for 8,st4 ,nicholas10 for which it is a pleasure to write4 ,yours most truly1 ,,lucy ,,larcom4 ,,to ,,the ,,same4 ,,beverly ,,farms1 ,december #cj1 #ahgd4 ,,my ,,dear ,,mrs4 ,,dodge1--,your charming 8,rhymes and ,jingles0 followed your pleasant note1 and ,i thank you for both4 ,the book is just what children most enjoy1 as a real mother's book will be sure to be2 and you have some sweet little poems which seem to hide themselves too modestly among the merry rhymes4 ,i think ,i have the mother-feeling1--ideally1 at least2 a woman is not a woman quite1 who lacks it1 be she married or single4 ,the children--,god bless them6--belong to the mother-heart that beats in all true women4 ,they seem even dearer1 sometimes1 because ,i have none of my own to love and be loved by1 for there is a great emptiness that only child-love can fill4 ,so ,god made us1 and ,i thank ,him for it4 ,the world's unmothered ones would be worse off if it were not so4 ,thank you for writing of yourself1 and your boys4 ,i wish ,i knew you1 face to face4 ,i am sure we should find ourselves in sympathy in many ways4 ,i send a verse or two1 for by and by1 when the ,march winds blow4 ,when ,i get to a little clearing of leisure1 ,i will write more for 8,st4 ,nicholas40 ,truly your friend1 ,,lucy ,,larcom4 ,,to ,,mrs4 ,j4 ,t4 ,,fields4 ,,beverly ,,farms1 ,december #e1 #ahge4 ,,dear ,,annie1--,i had a pleasant little visit at ,mrs4 ,pitman's after ,i left you4 ,we went to ,professor ,thayer's1 in ,cambridge1 that evening1 and heard ,emerson's noble paper on 8,immortality10 which is soon to be published4 ,there is great satisfaction in hearing such words from such a man's own lips1 for we know that ,emerson has as little as mortal can have of the haze of vanity between himself and the truth2 and it is this surely1 oftener than anything else1 that blinds men's minds to the open secret of eternal life4 ,mr4 ,longfellow was there1 and ,i had a pleasant talk with him4 ,he spoke of the book he is preparing and told me he wanted to put into it 8,hannah ,binding ,shoes40 ,mr4 ,garrison and ,henry ,vincent1 the lecturer1 were at ,mrs4 ,p4's the next day4 ,i have been in ,newburyport since ,i left ,somerville1 at my friend ,mrs4 ,spalding's4 ,mr4 ,whittier came there on his way from ,boston1 and ,i did not see that he was the worse for the woman-avalanche that descended upon him at your door4444 ,in #ahge1 8,an ,idyl of ,work10 dedicated to working women1 was issued by ,osgood ,co4 ,it is a long poem in blank verse1 written chiefly in pentameters1 and describes most beautifully the life of the ,lowell factory girls1 in 8,the ,forties40 ,there is a song of delight in work1 running through it all4 ,the incidents of prosaic labor are invested with a charm2 and the toiler's lot is shown to have its bright side in the community of womanly interests that develop strong traits of character1 and lead to lifelong attachments4 ,it is an epic of labor1 giving a history of an episode in ,american manufacture1 that proved how mental and moral culture can be aided by hand-work1 when the laborer looks upon his occupation as his privilege4 ,in the following year1 8,roadside ,poems10 a well-edited compilation of mountain poetry1 added a new interest to the country and the mountains1 for the summer traveler4 ,shelley1 ,wordsworth1 ,longfellow1 ,browning1 and ,lowell1 were made to act as interpreters of the wonders of the lane1 and the beauty of the sunrise over mountain sanctuaries1 and to explain the meaning of the storm reverberating among the hills4 ,it is a little book filled with glimpses of the sky1 the fragrance of flowers1 the earth-smell of ferns1 and the coloring of autumn leaves4 ,,to ,j4 ,g4 ,,whittier4 #hc ,,waltham ,,street1 ,,boston1 ,january #a1 #ahgh4 444 ,of course you must have grown very tired of the poetry written to you1 and about you4 ,i sent my verses to the 8,transcript10 because ,i thought you seemed too much pleased to think ,i had spared you the infliction6 ,discipline can never come too late in life1 ,i am confident6 ,still1 ,i didn't say a word more than the truth1 and ,i think ,i spoke sincerely for many others4 ,it is a great thing to have won a nation's affection1--much greater than the greatest amount of mere fame4 ,judging from our own inside view1 none of us deserve to be as well thought of by our friends as we are2 but the beauty of it is1 that real friendship knows us best after all1 because it sees in us our best aim1 endeavor1 and possibilities1 and lets our failures and imperfections pass by and be forgotten4 ,why not1 when the judge is always so imperfect1 too8 ,the sum of which is1 that we all think you a pretty good sort of man1 as men go4 ,always thy friend1 ,,lucy ,,larcom4 ,,to ,,mrs4 ,s4 ,i4 ,,spalding4 #hc ,,waltham ,,street1 ,january #ag1 #ahgh4 ,i have been reading the ,book of ,romans through1 trying to forget that ,i had ever read it before1 and ,i find that 8justification by faith0 seems to me a very different doctrine from the one ,i was brought up on4 ,i don't know that ,i should understand it as ,luther did4 ,but it seems to me grander than ,i have dreamed of before4 ,it is freedom to stand with our faces to the light1 whatever our past may have been2 freedom to do right from the love of it1 and not as burdensome duty2 and the love of doing right as the proof of deliverance4 ,is not this the 8grace wherein ye stand10 which ,paul preached as free grace in ,christ8 ,i find very little in the ,book of ,romans which points to some future salvation4 ,it is the life redeemed from love of sin1 which he seems to be talking to the ,romans about4 ,i do wish religion were made more practical in theology1 after this ,pauline fashion4 ,i do not care for any commentator's judgment4 ,i think that common sense and a sincere desire for truth will be shown the right interpretation4444 ,during part of the winter of #ahgh1 ,miss ,larcom made her only foreign trip--a visit to ,europe never being possible1 on account of the expense--to ,bermuda1 which she thoroughly enjoyed4 ,she wrote letters to the ,boston 8,daily ,advertiser10 describing the 8,still vexed ,bermoothes10 with enthusiastic appreciation4 ,the recollection of ,miranda and ,prospero1 with 8hag-born0 ,caliban1 interested her as much as the houses with walls of coral1 or the transparency of the beryl sea1 through which one could see the sponges1 and large purple amenones1 and fish of brilliant hues4 8,a banana plantation is rather a shabby-looking affair2 the leaves are beaten to tatters by the island tempests2 but for a contrast there is the royal palm1 to see which for the first time is an era in one's life1 lifting its stately column above the cocoanut and ,india rubber trees4 ,and we are satisfied that roses smell no less sweet for growing on the border of an onion patch4 ,after all this wonder of foreign growths it is pleasant to see a dandelion in flower1 and to find little mats of pimpernel on the hillside before our hotel4 ,these little home-blossoms deepen the home feeling1 and we are no more foreigners1 even here40 ,a poem full of semi-tropical scenery1 written on this trip1 appeared in 8,harper's ,magazine30-- 8,under the eaves of a southern sky1 ,where the cloud-roof bends to the ocean floor1 ,hid in lonely seas1 the ,bermoothes lie1 ,an emerald cluster that ,neptune bore ,away from the covetous earth-god's sight1 ,and placed in a setting of sapphire light40 ,for 8pot-boilers10 ,miss ,larcom undertook various inferior kinds of literary work1 such as compilations of poetical calendars1 and short biographical notices of famous people4 ,one of her books of this class1 8,landscape in ,american ,poetry10 with beautiful illustrations by ,mr4 ,j4 ,appleton ,brown1 was published in #ahgi4 ,there was some original writing in it1 but in the main1 it was a collection from many sources1 of poems dealing with interesting places in ,america4 ,,to ,,mrs4 ,e4 ,b4 ,,wheaton4 #fbg ,,tremont ,,street1 ,,boston1 ,january #ba1 #ahgi4 ,,my ,,dear ,,mrs4 ,,wheaton1--,i have been intending to write1 ever since ,i was at ,norton1 and tell you how much ,i enjoyed being there1 and returning to the spirit of my old days at the ,seminary4 ,i was so ill the last years of my stay there1 ,i hardly knew how much of a home it was to me4 ,to go back in restored health was a revelation of the old joy in my work4 ,i think there must be something of the same feeling in looking back from the better world we hope for1 when we have passed from this4 ,we shall never know how good and beautiful a world we have lived in until we get away from it1 and can get a glimpse of it with all our weariness and cares laid aside4 ,i think a great deal of the beautiful atmosphere which pervades the ,norton life is due to the generous idea in which the school was founded4 ,it gives the place a home feeling rarely found in such schools4 ,ever truly yours1 ,,lucy ,,larcom4 ,,to ,,mrs4 ,s4 ,i4 ,,spalding4 ,,boston1 ,december #f1 #ahgi4 ,when ,i came home from the reception and breakfast given to ,dr4 ,holmes on ,wednesday1 ,i thought ,i would sit down and write you about it at once4444 ,the breakfast was a splendid success2 you have probably read about it1 but there was a certain exhilaration in being in the presence of so many bright people1 and feeling perfectly at home1 which was indescribable4 ,i never expected to enjoy anything of the kind at all1 but ,i was really taken off my feet1 in a figurative sense4 ,dr4 ,holmes filled the place of honor in a delightful manner4 ,it was really like sitting down at his own breakfast table4 ,mrs4 ,whitney and ,i went at twelve as invited4 ,i left at a little past six and they were not through with their letters and speeches then4 ,i was introduced to ever so many people ,i never saw before4 444 ,i don't know but the pleasantest thing to me was the opportunity of speaking to ,rev4 ,phillips ,brooks1 or rather of hearing him speak face to face4 ,to look up into his honest1 clear eyes1 was like seeing the steady lights in a watch-tower2 and a tower of strength he is among us4 ,the outward largeness of the man is a type of his moral strength and mental breadth and spiritual height1 ,i am more than ever convinced4 ,i never spoke to a man who seemed so thoroughly grand to me4 ,mr4 ,whittier came1 but remained a very short time4 ,i saw him only a moment1 just before we went in4 ,my escort--they were all coupled off by a printed plan--was ,mr4 ,william ,winter1 a ,new ,york poet and journalist4 ,he was very entertaining1 and ,i think his poem was the best and most effective of the occasion4 444 ,i am fast getting to be a dissipated woman1 but ,i must and will put myself to work steadily for a week or two4 ,this was the first meeting between ,miss ,larcom and ,mr4 ,brooks4 ,she had heard him preach at ,trinity ,church and was greatly helped by his sermons1 for which she had often thanked him by letter1 and1 in return1 had received some few characteristic lines1 like the following3-- ,,boston1 ,april #ad1 #ahgi4 ,,my ,,dear ,,miss ,,larcom1--,the preaching of ,christ as a personal friend and ,saviour of all our souls becomes to me more and more the one interesting work of life1 and the readiness of the people to hear that one simple message1 which1 in its endlessly various forms1 is always the same1 gives me ever new satisfaction and delight4 ,i have known you by your verses for years4 ,i hope some day we may meet4 ,yours very truly1 ,,phillips ,,brooks4 ,the friendship between them deepened1 as the years went on4 ,they had many serious conversations on spiritual subjects1 and he became to her the great religious guide of her life4 ,his personality1 with its earnest1 and even fierce1 love for the simplicity of truth1 and the power with which he presented it1 made the deepest impression upon her in her last decade1 and brought to the fruition of spiritual loveliness the remaining years of her career4 ,,boston1 ,march #bj1 #ahhj4 ,,my ,,dear ,,miss ,,larcom1--,you will allow me to thank you for your note and to say how truly glad ,i am if anything ,i said on ,wednesday evening helped you in your thought of the ,lord's ,supper4 ,to me the ,personalness of the great ,sacrament seems to be the key to all its meaning1 and its simplicity is its grandeur and its charm4 ,ever yours sincerely1 ,,phillips ,,brooks4 ,,to ,,mrs4 ,s4 ,i4 ,,spalding4 #fbg ,,tremont ,,street1 ,february #ab1 #ahhj4 444 ,you must be disheartened often1 in having to listen to the vagaries of the many who have ordained themselves prime ministers of divine affairs4 ,i really cannot feel it right to put myself in the way of hearing such talk4 ,what can the end be1 since there is common sense among the people1 but a disgust for preaching altogether8 ,but ,i believe in a movement towards a service in which worship shall be the chief element2 and ,i don't think ,i am a step nearer ,episcopacy1 either4 ,i am trying to like that1 because ,i have always been unjustly prejudiced against it1 but ,i am a born ,independent at heart4444 ,the years of ,miss ,larcom's greatest poetical production were brought to a close by the printing1 in #ahhj1 of 8,the ,wild ,roses of ,cape ,ann40 ,her works were bound together in a ,household ,edition1 in #ahhd4 ,after this1 she wrote continually for the magazines1 and on anniversary occasions of various kinds4 ,some of these verses were included1 with a few new ones1 in the booklet 8,easter ,gleams10 and in the selection of religious poems1 called 8,at the ,beautiful ,gate10 but no noted additions were made to her poems after this1 though there are many of her lines of great beauty1 scattered through the pages of current ephemeral literature1 up to the time of her death4 ,,to ,s4 ,t4 ,,pickard4 ,,bethel1 ,,me41 ,september #cj1 #ahhj4 ,,my ,,dear ,,mr4 ,,pickard--,i go to-morrow to ,berlin ,falls1 ,new ,hampshire1 to stay at the ,cascade ,house until ,i have finished reading my proof4#g ,i wish to thank you for your interest in the book about to be4 ,it will have more character and more local color than the other2 but ,i do not write for critics1 but for my friends1 as the dedication will show1 and ,i do not care much whether critics like it or not1 provided my friends do4 ,i can conceive of no greater damper upon one's poetic attempts than the cold water of criticism4 ,it is from heart to heart1 from friend to friend1 that ,i write2 and ,i find in that the highest inspiration to do my best4 ,of course ,i am glad to enlarge the circle of my friends in this way2 and poetry has amply repaid me in the coin of friendship4 ,one gives out life in writing2 and nothing but life in return--life enlarged and filled--gives any true satisfaction4 ,of course ,i shall send you a copy1 not editorially1 but personally4 ,the 8,wild ,roses0 were fragrant1 and delighted some of the critics1 even1 for in addition to those that grew along ,cape ,ann1 there were many cultivated ones1 that blossomed beside the still waters of thought1 and in the quiet retreats of meditation3-- 8,a ,rose is sweet1 ,no matter where it grows3 and roses grow ,nursed by the pure heavens1 and the strengthening earth1 ,wherever men will let them4 ,every waste ,and solitary place is glad for them1 ,since the old prophets sang1 so1 until now40 8,phebe0 has a prominent place in the book--the poem that drew from ,mr4 ,howells1 when he was editor of the 8,atlantic10 a most graceful note of acceptance3-- ,,my ,,dear ,,miss ,,larcom1--,you take rejections so sweetly1 that ,i have scarcely the heart to accept anything of yours4 ,but ,i do like 8,phebe10 and ,i am going to keep her4 8,shared0 excited admiration2 and was pronounced by one competent critic to be the best religious lyric of the decade3-- 8,the air we breathe1 the sky1 the breeze1 ,the light without us and within1 ,life1 with its unlocked treasuries1 ,god's riches1 are for all to win40 ,the theological poem1 8,the ,heart of ,god10 was the cause of controversy4 ,a stranger wrote1 asking her to change it1 for he thought it expressed too clearly 8the old doctrine of the ,divinity of ,christ40 ,she answered politely1 but with a strong statement of her faith1 that what he called 8the old ,doctrine0 was the inspiration of the verses3 8,to me1 ,christ is the ,infinite ,person1 at once human and divine4 ,god exists as impersonal ,spirit1 but ,i know ,him only as a person through ,christ4 ,the historical ,christ is entirely true to me1 as the only way in which ,god could humanly be known to us4 ,it is no more impossible for me to believe that the #8,eternal ,christ of ,god1' the personal manifestation of ,deity1 should veil ,himself for a time with the human form1 than that we1 in our humble personality1 as sharers of the ,divine ,nature1 should wear it as we do40 ,the same truth she put strongly in 8,our ,christ10 when she wrote3-- 8,in ,christ ,i feel the ,heart of ,god40 ,concerning this poem1 the ,rev4 ,w4 ,garrett ,horder1 the ,english hymnologist1 writes that it has been accorded a place in 8,hymns ,supplemental0 for ,congregational churches1 and was sung for the first time in ,england1 ,february #ad1 #ahid1 in ,colby ,chapel1 ,bradford4 ,in making an analytical study of ,miss ,larcom's poetry1 the range of her verse becomes apparent4 ,she finds expression for her muse in almost all forms of versification3 the epic1 as in 8,an ,idyl of ,work20 the ballad1 with its merry lines1 relating some story of early ,new ,england days1 or some delightful old legend2 the lyric in its numerous forms1--pastoral songs that breathe of the fields and pretty farms1 lyrics of nature in her peaceful moods when the wayside flower dwells securely1 or in her grander moods when the mountains hide themselves in storm-clouds1 or the sea moans in the deepening tempest2 lyrics of grief1 when1 in solemn and plaintive strains1 she chants the dirge of ,elizabeth ,whittier1 or tolls the passing bell of ,lincoln1 or sheds a tear over the grave of ,garfield2 and sacred lyrics1 in which she deals with the deepest emotions of the human heart1 expressing its longing after immortality1 and its adoration for ,god4 ,the range of her verse is further enlarged by the addition of the sonnet's 8narrow plot of ground10 and the stately movement of the ode4 ,her lines always have a musical flow born of intense emotion4 ,they have a smoothness and ripple1 like the flow of the summer brook1 or the even modulations of the tides4 ,at times1 they possess a cadence not unlike what ,mr4 ,arnold1 speaking of ,spenser1 calls 8fluidity10--an effect produced by combinations of melodious sounds1 as in these lines from 8,on the ,beach30-- 8,and glimmering beach1 and plover's flight1 ,and that long surge that rolls ,through bands of green and purple light1 ,are fairer to our human sight ,because of human souls40 ,again1 in 8,golden-,rod30-- 8,the swinging harebell faintly tolled ,upon the still autumnal air1 ,the golden-rod bent down to hold ,her rows of funeral torches there40 ,and in 8,my ,mountain30-- 8,i shut my eyes in the snow-fall1 ,and dream a dream of the hills2 ,the sweep of a host of mountains1 ,the flash of a hundred rills40 ,together with the music1 there is strength in her verses1 when she attempts to deal with subjects that call for vigorous treatment4 ,in the 8,rose ,enthroned10 there is a strong grasping at the origin of things1 and powerful descriptions of the primeval birth-throes that1 from the war of elements1 issued forth in the fairness of creation4 8,built by the warring elements they rise1 ,the massive earth-foundations1 tier on tier1 ,where slimy monsters with unhuman eyes ,their hideous heads uprear40 ,in her mountain descriptions there is the same power4 ,the wind-beaten and thunder-scarred summit of ,whiteface presents itself to her as the visage of a monarch1 who seems to rule the race of giant hills4 ,the effect of a mountain whose slopes plunge into the sea is graphically given in the phrase1 8,plunged knee-deep in yon glistening sea40 ,her appreciation for beautiful details of nature1 that seemed to escape the common observer1 is seen in her similes and epithets2 the little streams winding through the marshes are called 8sea-fed creeks20 the mists that rise in the evening1 reflecting the light of the descending sun1 are 8violet mists20 the quiet of the fields of clover1 when one is out of sound of the waves1 are fitly called 8sweet inland silences20 the heart of the woods1 where are the shadows1 has its 8forest crypts20 and there are 8mosaics of tinted moss40 ,dr4 ,holmes very well describes her when he says3 8,she was as true a product of our ,essex ,county soil as the bayberry2 and her nature had the chaste and sweet fragrance of its fair and wholesome leaves4 ,she was a true poetess1 and a noble woman40 ,her writings have the genuine flavor of the soil1 like the perfume of the woods1 or the salt spray that bathes one's face along the seashore4 ,mr4 ,whittier thus analyzed her powers as a poet3 8,she holds in rare combination the healthfulness of simple truth and common sense1 with the fine and delicate fancy1 and an artist's perception of all beauty40 ,mr4 ,stedman1 in his 8,poets of ,america10 speaks of her as a sweet-voiced singer of 8orchard notes40 ,this is a good partial description of certain of her songs1 but as an estimate of her poetical ability it is very limited4 ,she was not disturbed by the criticism1 but wrote thus to a friend4 ,,to ,,mrs4 ,s4 ,i4 ,,spalding4 #d ,,hotel ,,byron1 ,,berkeley ,,street1 ,,boston1 ,march #h1 #ahhf4 444 ,don't be troubled about 8orchard-notes40 ,i consider it the highest compliment4 ,think of goldfinches and linnets1 song-sparrows and orioles6 ,i know and love their separate songs1 and should feel proud if ,i thought my singing deserved comparison with theirs4 ,why1 three fourths of the cheer of the spring and summer-time is in those same orchard-notes6 ,i shall have to try hard to live up to my reputation4 ,but if you do think ,i get up a little higher into the air1 a little farther off into the wilderness sometimes1 for a more meditative flight of song1 just remember that very high critics do not always comprehend the music in the air about them4 ,does not ,milton write of ,shakespeare as 8,fancy's child10 and of his poetry as 8wood-notes wild08 ,such an estimate must be imperfect1 because it leaves out of consideration the moral power of her religious writings1 which1 more than her nature-songs1 have won for her a place in the regard of the people4 ,a gentleman thanking her for the gift of one of her books1 expressed for many readers a recognition of this deeper hold3 8,a soul once fed and inspired as was mine1 at a critical and sad juncture of its life1 by your poetry1 is likely to open1 as ,i did1 the beautiful book your kindness sent me1 with strange delight40 ,one who could write 8,a ,thanksgiving10 with its noble lines1-- 8,for thine own great gift of ,being1 ,i thank ,thee1 ,o my ,god10 and the words1-- 8,lord1 enter this house of my being ,and fill every room with ,thy light10-- should certainly be called a religious poet of a high order2 and her poems are filled with such passages as that which follows1 presenting religious thought simply and convincingly3-- 8,god hears ,the prayer the good man means1 the ,soul's desire1 ,under whatever rubbish of vain speech2 ,and prayer is1 must be1 each man's deepest words4 ,he who denies its power1 still uses it1 ,whenever he names ,god1 or thinks of ,him40 ,poetry1 to her1 was vastly more than word-shaping1 or combinations of accented and unaccented syllables2 it was an attitude of mind and soul towards all existence1 a view-point of her being1 from which she saw such visions1 and heard such sounds1 that the impulse was irresistible to record in recognized poetic form her ideas and feelings4 ,she found poetry in everything around her2 it was the atmosphere she breathed1 the medium1 like imponderable ether1 through which she saw life4 ,nature had a more profound meaning to her than the charm of color1 or the changing pleasures of the land or the sea4 ,it was the visible evidence of the unseen1 the prophecy of a greater fulfillment1 the proclamation of the spiritual element within1 which the senses of themselves could not perceive4 ,she once said1 8,nature is one vast metaphor through which spiritual truth may be read30-- 8,the ,universe is one great loving ,thought1 ,written in ,hieroglyphs of bud and bloom40 ,the delicate and spiritual nature of womanhood1 too1 with its heroism1 breathed through all she wrote4 ,everything she touched glowed with the light of purity4 ,her aim was to uplift and sweeten life1 by a revelation of its true meaning4 ,her measures are choice2 her passion is genuine2 her verses sincere2 and the morale of them is always elevating4 ,our literature is not rich in women poets of the highest genius1 but there are many who have sung true songs4 ,maria ,lowell was permitted to give us a few notes only of her chaste singing4 ,the ,cary sisters1 ,mrs4 ,cook1 ,mrs4 ,greenough1 and ,helen ,hunt ,jackson1 and many who now enliven our magazines1 have done genuine work2 but one often looks in vain for the power that distinguished ,miss ,larcom4 ,considering the range of the versification1 the music of the lines1 the strength of phrase and beauty of metaphor1 and lofty moral intensity of her poetry1 it is not claiming too much to say that it exhibits a genius as versatile and as rich in its utterance as that of any of her female contemporaries1 and considering the impression that she has made upon the people1 at their firesides and in their worship1 she holds a place1 equal to any1 in their hearts4 ,her poems have been recognized in many collections in our land and in ,england4 ,mr4 ,longfellow in his 8,poems of ,places0 has remembered her4 ,she is honored in ,emerson's 8,parnassus20 one of her hymns is included in ,dr4 ,martineau's 8,hymns of the ,spirit20 she has been given a place1 by ,mr4 ,garrett ,horder1 in 8,a ,treasury of ,sacred ,song from ,american ,sources20 by ,mr4 ,higginson1 in 8,american ,sonnets20 by ,mr4 ,richard ,grant ,white1 in 8,the ,poetry of the ,rebellion20 and by ,mr4 ,w4 ,m4 ,rossetti1 in his 8,english ,selections from ,popular ,poets40 ,the following letter to ,dr4 ,john ,hunter of ,glasgow shows that she enjoyed this recognition of her work3-- ,,beverly1 ,,mass41 ,july #aj1 #ahij4 ,,dear ,,sir1--,a friend gave me your 8,hymns of ,faith and ,life10 in the winter1 telling me she had found one or two of mine in it4 ,on looking it over1 ,i find five1 not all of which are credited to me1 though all are included in the ,household ,edition of my poems1 published by ,houghton1 ,mifflin ,co4 ,i thought you would like to know the authorship1 and therefore write4 ,of course ,i am gratified to know that my hymns were taken on their own merit apparently1 and ,i am glad if anything ,i have written is a natural expression of sincere worship for other hearts and voices than my own4 ,truly yours1 ,,lucy ,,larcom4 ,the two following letters illustrate how ,dr4 ,holmes and ,mr4 ,longfellow appreciated ,miss ,larcom's work4 #bif ,,beacon ,,street1 ,november #ag1 #ahhj4 ,,my ,,dear ,,miss ,,larcom1--,i have been reading your poems at all the spare moments ,i could find this evening4 ,many of them ,i read carefully--every page ,i tasted4 ,my wife and daughter were sitting opposite to me1 and ,i had to shade my eyes with my hand that they should not see the tears shining in them--this over and over again4 ,the poems are eminently wholesome1 sweet1 natural4 ,their perfume is as characteristic of the soil they spring from as that of the sweet fern or the bayberry4 ,it is pleasant to me to find my name in such good company as it is in your pages1 and if anything ,i have written has ever given you pleasure this volume has amply repaid me4 ,very sincerely yours1 ,o4 ,w4 ,,holmes4 ,p4,s4 7,worth all the rest74 ,i got a letter from ,mr4 ,whittier which reads as follows3-- 8,has thee seen ,miss ,larcom's #8,cape ,ann'8 ,i like it1 and in reading it ,i thought thee would also4 ,get it and see if she has not a right to stand with the rest of us4 ,wishing thee a pleasant ,thanksgiving after the manner of the enclosed card1 ,i am faithfully thy friend1 ,j4 ,g4 ,,whittier40 ,,cambridge1 ,december #bd1 #ahhj4 ,,dear ,,miss ,,larcom1--,i thank you very much for your beautiful volume of beautiful poems4 ,i have been reading it this morning with great enjoyment4 ,i always liked your poetry1 and now like it more than ever4 ,it is not merely verse1 but possesses the true poetic instinct and insight4 ,one little song among the many particularly charms me4 ,it is 8,at her ,bedside40 ,it ought to be set to music4 ,thanks1 and all good wishes4 ,sincerely yours1 ,,henry ,w4 ,,longfellow4 ,,chapter ,,ix4 ,,religious ,,changes4 #ahha-ahhd4 ,the true poetic temperament has in it an element of religion2 for religion and poetry both deal with the spiritual interpretation of life1 and one who possesses the temperament for either is conscious of the vastness overshadowing common things1 and sees the infinite meaning of the apparent finiteness of the visible world4 ,the delicate perception of truth which is a distinctive quality of the poet often leads to the deep appreciation of the spirit in and through nature1 and enables one to feel and know ,god4 ,lucy ,larcom possessed the poetic temperament1 with this strong element of religion4 ,she was pre-eminently religious1 in the sense of possessing a spiritual power1 dealing continually with spiritual things4 ,she began early to interpret life in the light of divine truth2 and truth made real in human character she considered the one thing worth striving for4 ,her relations to organized ,christianity are particularly interesting4 ,doubtless the history of her connection with the churches is a type of that of other lives numerous in our generation that have become dissatisfied with the communions in which they have been trained1 and after a period of uncertainty and unrest have found a home in the ,episcopal ,church4 ,her religious life began in a ,puritan home1 and in a ,congregational meeting-house4 ,the strong ethical teaching of her fathers made a lasting impression on her1 and the dogmatic preaching of ,calvinism influenced her young life4 ,from both she gained a love for the simplicity of living which characterized her career1 and that dearness of conscience which she always displayed4 ,there was also a joy to her under the austerity of the worship1 and the sternness of the theology4 ,the sermons suggested new thoughts1 which forced themselves between the sentences of the minister1 and in this way she preached to herself another sermon than that spoken from the pulpit4 ,her religious enthusiasm bore fruit at thirteen years of age1 in church membership1 in ,lowell4 ,not many years after this she was sorry for the step she had taken1 for the natural broadening of her mind and the deepening of her consciousness of truth led her far away from the doctrines she had accepted4 ,the sermons that she heard did not seem to satisfy her needs2 she longed for spiritual nourishment1 for help on the daily path1 for thoughts that had some connection with actual temptations and doubts4 ,most of the discourses dealt ingeniously with exegetical questions1 or were massive arguments used to crush the objector1 or efforts to prove some metaphysical doctrine4 ,relating one ,sunday's experience1 which has been referred to before in her diary1 she said1 8,i went to meeting1 expecting and needing spiritual food1 and received only burning coals and ashes4 ,there was a sermon to prove that ,satan will be tormented for ever and ever2 and the stress of the argument was to prove the endlessness of his punishment40 ,not only did she find a failing sympathy with the preaching and worship1 but there were doctrines she could not continue to hold4 ,among these doctrines were1 verbal inspiration of the ,bible1 which she thought mechanical and destructive of the ,spirit's influence through a distinctive human personality2 the ,atonement1 as the purchase blood of ,god's favor for a fallen race2 predestination1 which seemed to eliminate man's freedom2 and endless punishment1 adjudged for acts in this life1 without any probation in a future state1 which seemed to her contrary to the idea of the ,sonship of man4 ,neither did she care for the emphasis placed on doctrine1 as distinguished from life4 ,the central point in her theology was the truth of ,god's love1 and from this1 by logical sequence1 came her ideas of ,his revelation through nature1 through human life as ,his gift1 and through character as a manifestation of ,his glory4 ,she was a student of ,maurice1 who led her along congenial paths of thought4 ,on ,sundays when she remained away from church1 she generally read a sermon of ,robertson's2 and in his powerful analyses of truth1 and in his burning love for the ,master1 she found continued inspiration4 ,her love for the person of ,jesus increased each year4 ,she felt herself a member of the ,invisible ,church1 being contented with the thought that the visible churches had no claim upon her1 because of their errors4 ,,to ,j4 ,g4 ,,whittier4 #fbg ,,tremont ,,street1 ,,boston1 ,december #be1 #ahha4 ,,my ,,dear ,,friend1--,alone in my room this evening1 ,i feel just like writing a ,christmas letter to you1 and ,i follow the impulse4 ,this day always brings back old times and old friends to memory1 but never with sadness to me1 because the one idea of the day is hope and joy for all souls1 the possibilities of infinite help1 unending progress4 ,whenever ,i enter deeply into the thought of ,christ1 whenever ,i feel ,him the one ,reality inseparable from my own being1 then ,i feel that ,i have my friends safe1 and that they are to be my friends forever4 ,to me1 ,he is the one ,divine ,friend in whom human friendships can alone be real and permanent1 because ,he draws us into sympathy with what is best1 with what is eternal1 the love of goodness1 the consciousness of ,god in us and around us1 and the solemn gladness of a human life into which ,god has entered1 and where ,he still is4 ,god with us still1 the ,spiritual ,presence of ,one who is more real than any other person can be to us1 through whom indeed we receive our personality1--this idea1 so grand as at times to seem almost impossible1 grows more definite and clear to me4 ,it is the 8,so ,i am with you alway0 of ,christ4 ,and with this idea1 that of those whom we love unseen1 our friends who have disappeared from sight1 becomes more definite also4 ,sometimes ,i can say undoubtingly1 8,i know ,i shall find them again1 where ,he is40 ,but though the light flickers and dims sometimes1 what if it does8 ,there the light is1 and every year a larger space is redeemed from darkness4 ,oh1 my dear friend6 life is a gift blessed as it is awful4 ,to think how close we are to one another for good or evil1 do what we will6 ,we cannot be apart from our fellow-beings2 the pulses of this life we have in common throb1 upward or downward1 through us forever4 ,death is not to me half so solemn as life3 but then death is no reality--a circumstance of our external life only4444 ,,to ,,the ,,same4 #fbg ,,tremont ,,street1 ,,boston1 ,june #f1 #ahha4 444 ,i am steadily gaining in strength ,i think1 and ,i am glad to keep on learning to live and to work1 with such limitations as years necessarily bring4 ,i find my life taking deeper hold of all other human lives2 ,i feel myself more closely and warmly one of the great human family1 every year of my life4 ,and ,i feel through this the assurance of immortality--because we are in our deepest instincts children of the living ,god--because we1 as sons and daughters1 are united through the ,son with the ,father2 we share ,his eternity2 we cannot lose ,him nor one another1 nor the least spark of truth or love kindled within us from ,his being4 ,i am glad that ,i live1 and that ,i shall die2 that ,i shall fall asleep to awake with all ,i love1 with all that is permanent here1 in ,him4 ,the forward outlook is full of good cheer2 for is not ,he the ,eternally ,good8444 ,,to ,,franklin ,,carter4 ,,beverly1 ,,mass41 ,july #ah1 #ahha4 ,,dear ,,frank1--,i want to write a word of congratulation to you1 in your new position4 ,c---- told me you thought of going to ,williamstown1 but ,i did not know it was fully decided1 until ,i saw your address in a ,boston paper4 ,it was an excellent inaugural4 ,i felt my sympathy go out to you as ,i read4 ,i felt sure1 and feel sure1 that you will do good in your new position1 which surely is a most responsible one1 in a time like this4 ,i wonder if it is really a time of greater unbelief than hitherto4 ,doubt is not an unhealthy symptom2 it argues the possibility of belief4 ,indifference to high truth seems to me worst of all1 the indifference that comes of too much world1 which everybody seems to get suffocated in4 ,it is a great privilege to be able to influence young men to the best things1 as you will be able to1--to make low aims seem1 as they are1 unworthy of manhood4 ,god bless you and help you6 ,i have lived on1 doing the little ,i could1 during these last few years4 ,i have gained in health1 and am always hoping to return to some steady work2 but it may not be best to do so at all4 ,i like my freedom1 and if ,i can afford to keep it1 ,i shall4 ,i am sure it is not good for me to live in a school4 ,i sometimes wish ,i had earned or inherited money enough not to have to think of the future1 but doubtless the ,lord knows just what ,i need4 ,it is not best for us all to have life made easy for us1 in that way4 ,as ,i look back on my life1 ,i see much reason for humility4 ,i ought to have done so much more and so much better4 ,nevertheless the future is bright1 for ,god is good4 ,sometimes it seems to me as if ,i were just learning what ,his forgiveness means1 what it is to begin every day anew1 as if there had been no unworthy past1 as if there were only ,his love and my desire to please ,him left4 ,but ,i only meant to write a line4 ,i go from here to spend the 8hay-fever0 season among the mountains very soon4 ,always and truly yours1 ,,lucy ,,larcom4 ,the change in ,miss ,larcom's religious life came when she began to attend the services of ,trinity ,church1 ,boston1 in #ahgi4 ,the preaching of ,phillips ,brooks was the realization1 in living words1 of her own thought4 ,he gave utterance for her to all her broader and freer conceptions of ,christianity4 ,she had known little of the ,episcopal ,church before going to ,trinity1 and she had the same inherited prejudices that many1 bred like her1 have1 though she remembered with pleasure ,st4 ,ann's in ,lowell1 during her days of wage earning2 but the simplicity of the worship at ,trinity1 and the earnestness of the preacher1 touched the deepest chords in her life1 and she realized that she could be helped by them4 ,writing to one of her friends1 who urged upon her the claims of the ,episcopal ,church1 she said3-- 444 ,i have been very much interested in the services at ,trinity ,church4 ,just think6 two prayer-books came to me in one week6 one from a friend in ,new ,york1 from whom ,i had not heard for a year4 ,i do not know what special suggestion ,i am to get from the fact1 except that ,i am to know more of the ,episcopal ,church4 ,truly ,i am ashamed of my ignorance regarding it4 ,i enjoy the services1 but ,i think ,i still strongly prefer ,congregational ways4 ,if only there were a little more sharing of the worship on the part of the people6 ,i don't like to think that the minister is doing it all up for me2 but that is the way of one1 and not of the other1 decidedly4 ,i am going to be able to worship with ,episcopalians as intelligently as with others4444 ,at another time she wrote about her church connections as follows3-- 444 ,i wish ,i could feel as you do1 about the ,church4 ,i should like to be there1 but ,i have to look upon it from the outside as an institution4 ,the real church1 to which ,i hope ,i belong1 seems to me to be so much broader than any one form1 so inclusive of all denominations1 that ,i hardly think ,i have the right to identify myself with any2 for1 by so doing1 ,i should exclude myself absolutely from the rest4 ,now ,i seem to myself to belong everywhere4 ,yet it is sometimes lonely to feel that spiritually ,i have not where to lay my head4 ,we women crave home1 a home of our own2 but we must not deceive ourselves by shutting our eyes1 and making believe we are at home1 when we are not4 ,however1 ,i mean to go regularly to ,trinity if ,i can1 for the feeling of having free seats is more comfortable than that of intruding into people's pews1 and ,i go as if ,i had a right to the service4444 ,her diary for #ahha and #ahhb indicates the deepening of her religious thought1 and the way in which the ,episcopal ,church was becoming known to her4 ,boston1 ,november #bh1 #ahha4 ,waked by distant bells of ,advent ,sunday4 ,as a ,puritan1 ,i have known little of the ,christian year1 in its ,church history4 ,it is worth while to try to enter into the spirit of all methods of true ,christian worship4 ,i read a sermon by ,f4 ,d4 ,maurice1 one by ,f4 ,w4 ,robertson1 and one by ,phillips ,brooks1 all bearing upon the idea of these ,advent days4 ,in the 8,christian ,year0 7,keble71 an allusion is made to one of the skeptical centuries1 which seems to fit this1 in its over-scientific tendencies3-- 8,an age of light1 ,light without love1 glares on the aching sight40 ,but under all true science1--if science is indeed knowledge1--we shall find ,christ1 since ,christ is the revelation of the deepest love of ,god4 ,december #d4 ,have been writing ,christmas verses1 by request1 the past week4 ,thanksgiving and ,christmas would blend themselves in my thoughts as one festival4 8,for my body liveth by my soul1 and my soul by me0 7,st4 ,augustine74 8,too little doth he love ,thee1 who loves anything with thee1 which he loveth not for ,thee0 7,ibid474 ,december #e4 ,two distinct thoughts impressed by the two successive evening services at ,trinity ,church3-- ,a week since1--,that the controversy between skepticism and ,christianity1 as carried on quite recently among us1 does not touch the real point in question1 which is whether ,christ1 the ,son of ,god1 has come into the world1 and has changed it1 and is changing it for the better3 not whether certain statements of the ,hebrew ,scriptures can be verified as facts1 but whether there is a living ,christ4 ,and last evening1--,that the motive of the ,christian life1 the true reason why we should become ,christians1 and live as ,christians1 is that other men may receive the blessing2 that it may widen on1 through us1 into unknown ages4 ,it was a carrying out of ,st4 ,paul's thought1 spoken to the ,ephesians1 about the ,gentile world and the 8ages to come40 ,it is the grandeur of ,christianity that it will not permit us to shut ourselves up in our own personal or local interests1--that it belongs to the whole race1 and unites us to every human heart4 ,a note from ,mrs4 ,garfield this morning4 ,though so nearly a stranger1 she lets me in1 a little way1 to the sacred seclusion of her sorrow1--8this valley and this shadow10 as she calls it4 ,she cannot see why the blow had to fall upon her1--nor can we see why the country needed it4 ,the blasphemous conceit of the assassin1 who claims to have been inspired by the ,deity1 makes it all the more perplexing4 ,one good thing ought to come of this trial1--that we should all of us try to know clearly what we mean1 when we claim close relations with the ,divine ,being4 ,too many1 perhaps all of us1 sometimes1 use ,his name insanely1 and therefore irreverently1 in our thoughts1 and to cloak our errors to ourselves4 ,begin this morning ,max ,mller's 8,science of ,religion10 which ,i have never yet thoroughly read4 ,january #a1 #ahhb4 ,heard the midnight toll of the passing ,old ,year at ,trinity ,church last night4 ,it was good to be there1 and to come out into the clear starlight and moonlight of the ,new ,year1 with the great company that had reverently gathered in the church to watch the coming in of #ahhb1--;another ,year of ,our ,lord4 ,rev4 ,mr4 ----'s sermon was appropriate1 but that old1 sad1 haunting thought seemed to me to be too painfully impressed1--that1 whatever we do1 the scars of our past sins eternally remain1--that the losses caused by our wrong-doing can never be made up4 ,is it the true reading of ,god's forgiveness in ,christ8 ,is not the uplifting power of the new love with which ,his ,spirit floods our life1 something nobler than we should have known1 except for the pain1 and the wounding1 and the loss that came of sin8 ,for the evil that has come to others through us1 may not a flood of good out of the heart of our loving ,christ overflow all1 and lift them1 with us1 to a higher stratum of life8--,i must believe it--that righteousness in human souls will obliterate the past evil4 ,if it is to be remembered no more1 it must not be there1--or some better thing must have come in its place4 ,we cannot tell how far ,god's love may extend1 what miracles it works4 ,the chapter about the ,new ,jerusalem coming down from ,god out of heaven1 was read as the year was passing1 and ,mr4 ,brooks made that the point of his remarks1--that the coming year might be the ,new ,jerusalem to us4 ,in that light all darkness may surely be forgotten4 ,january #f1 ,epiphany4 ,went to the ,church service4 ,the thought that ,christ truly came to us1 to all the world1 through ,his birth at ,bethlehem1 and the joy of ,his coming1 is a blessing that everybody may share1 and that it is more truly a blessing because it is to be shared1 was chiefly dwelt upon4 ,it struck me as a new thought1 that the ,wise ,men from the ,east represented all the science1 all the intellectual treasure of all time1 which are truly given to humanity only when laid at the feet of ,christ4 ,the preacher did not express that idea1 but it passed through my mind as ,i listened4 ,every gift we have1 every work we do1 only becomes a real1 living1 worthy thing1 when given to ,christ to be inspired with ,his life4 ,if the scientific research of this age could but see the star hanging over the place where the ,young ,child lies1 and find its true illumination in ,him6 ,january #g4 ,miss ,h---- called1 full of enthusiasm over what she believes herself to have done by healing the sick1 through the power of prayer4 ,i must believe that what she says is true1--and yet ,i question4 ,can this be ,god's way8 ,not impossible--but ,i have never been able to see that any prayer for definite physical results was so good as that which asks to be brought into harmony with the will of ,god1 so that we shall accept any condition which ,he sees best for us4 ,yet--what does the 8gift of healing0 mean--if not that ,he permits health to flow through one life into another8 ,my little crippled friend1 ,e----1 does not feel sure that she ought to ask ,god to make her well and strong1 like other girls4 ,i wish she might be1 though4 ,january #h4 ,miss ,e4 ,h4 called4 ,our talk always gets back to the one subject1--,christ in human life4 ,she cannot see that ,he is more than the best of all human helpers1 and yet she has flashes of higher truth sometimes4 ,i think she wishes for a definite intellectual idea of the ,christ1 for she said to me1 8,you make it wholly spiritual10--and so the conception of him1 in the human soul1 must be1 it seems to me4 ,she said1 8,i think of what ,he was10 and ,i think of ,him1 that ,he is1 and there we parted4 ,it is to me like the sunlight3 clear1 penetrating1 inspiring1 the idea of ,christ who is1 was1 and is to be1 the ,eternal ,son of the ,father1 the presence of ,god in humanity1 as the friend of every soul1--the uniting link between the human and the divine4 ,i feel my own personal immortality in following this truth whithersoever it may lead1--deeper1 ever deeper1 into the ,heart of ,god1 as ,i earnestly believe4 ,at church the subject was the power behind all human efforts1 which makes them worth anything4 ,the planter and the waterer are nothing1 except as means bringing the seed to growth1 which must first be alive1 a force in itself1 which he who tends cannot produce or understand4 ,the power of ,god behind all worthy human efforts1 that we are tools in the ,master's hand1 and must refer every good result to ,him1 were the inferences4 ,who can explain moods8 ,a strange depression has been over me to-day1 as of some impending danger to some life near to mine4 ,i shook it off in going out1 but ,i found myself imagining the saddest thing that could possibly happen to me or my friends1 or the country1 or the world4 ,i do not think ,i dread any one thing for myself1 yet the removal of some of my friends would leave life very lonely4 ,january #af4 ,yesterday ,i was much instructed and helped by reading one or two of ,maurice's sermons4 ,the thought that forgiveness means the putting away of sins is not often emphasized as he does it1--8,power on earth to forgive sins20 that here one can lay down the burden1 and go on fighting the enemy with a sure hope of conquest1 because of that divine life and strength that comes through a present ,christ2--this is release indeed4 ,not that we shall be forgiven1 but that we are forgiven1 if we turn to the truth in the love of it4 ,and the thought of the ,communion service as a marriage-supper1 a token that our lives are reunited to the divine life1 came to me with new force4 ,mr4 ,brooks preached about heaven1 in the afternoon2 that it must be the continuance of life1--of the highest and deepest we know here4 ,there always will be for us1 ,god1 and the 8charity0 which means love4 ,he spoke from chapter xiii41 ,i4 ,corinthians3 8,for now we see through a glass darkly10--carrying out the image of life blurred and distorted often to us here1 made clear there1 where only true things can remain4 ,keble says1 for yesterday1 that we may-- 8,through the world's sad day of strife ,still chant his morning song40 ,and why should not the music of heaven be the continuing of what is the true harmony of earth8 ,it must be4 ,the sermon yesterday referred especially to the death of two ministers in the ,church the past week1 ,dr4 ,stone and ,john ,cotton ,smith4 ,january #bc4 ,remarks at table1 where surely people talk very freely4 ,one lady says that she has never for an hour been glad that she was born4 ,i can scarcely think of such a thing as possible1 because it is ,god's world1 and if we have any real glimpse of ,him we must know that there is a divine purpose in our being here1 even if we do not have the 8good time0 in life that we think we deserve4 ,but it may be an inherited morbid feeling1 it may be an affectation1--it may be several things4 ,another lady states her ,unitarian position that 8,christ was human1 we know1--he must also have been more than human1 else he could not help us1 therefore he was divine2 but he could not have been wholly divine1 else he could not have been an example for us40 ,the last assertion is to me untrue4 ,he must be able to help us more1 because ,he is one with the ,father1 nor is ,he less our example1 but more4 ,he never gave a lower standard than this1--8,be ye perfect1 even as your ,father in heaven is perfect40 ,he surely made ,god our only example of goodness1 to learn and to follow4 ,and we know that we are made in the image of ,god1 because we cannot in our best moments accept any standard but this1--of perfection to be sought after through eternity2 the grandeur of our being is that there will always be something beyond for us to seek4 ,reading 8,ecce ,homo0 for the first time1 with a view to studying the 8,life of ,christ0 with a friend4 ,february #f4 ,reading ,renan's 8,life of ,jesus40 ,in the introduction1 his objections to the fourth ,gospel seem to me to arise from some lack of perception in himself4 ,i cannot find in it the 8pretentious1 heavy1 badly written tirades0 to which he alludes4 ,nor does it seem to me anything against the book that it was written from memory1 long after the death of ,christ4 ,to apply to so close a friendship as that between ,jesus and ,john the passage1 8,our memories are transformed with all the rest2 the idea of a person whom we have known changes with us10 seems to me a wholly unsatisfactory and unappreciative way of putting it4 ,if friends1 and such friends1 do not remember each other as they really are1 we lose the idea of personal identity altogether4 ,yet ,renan seems to think that ,john did write the fourth ,gospel1 and from the same close kind of intimacy as that which existed between ,socrates and ,plato4 ,we surely reach the heart of ,christ most closely through the words of the beloved disciple1--the stories clustering around the birth of ,christ1 which ,renan dismisses as 8legendary10 seem to be so simply on his assertion4 ,were they so1 the character of ,jesus1 ,son of ,god and ,son of ,man1 remains itself divinely alone in the world's history4 ,but ,i cannot see more miracle in the beginning than all the way through4 ,nor does it seem to me that it would have been more sacrilegious for ,him to say 8,i am ,god10 which he never did in words affirm1 ,renan says1 than to say1 as ,he did1 8,i and my ,father are one20 8,he that hath seen me hath seen the ,father40 ,he spoke as the ,son of ,man1 referring also always to ,his ,father1 claiming to be1 in the closest sense1 the ,son of ,god4 ,as a man1 ,he must refer to the ,god beyond ,him1 else ,he could not have made ,himself understood by men4 ,for myself1 ,i cannot think of ,god at all1 except as having eternally this human side1 by which we human beings1 ,his children1 may know ,him4 ,there is no unity in the idea of ,him without this complexity1 which shows ,him as ,father1 ,son1 and ,spirit4 ,yet ,christ's human life was perfectly human1 wholly so2 and the picturesque beauty of that life1 the lovely scenery of ,nazareth1 and his wayfaring company of disciples1 plain countrymen1 group themselves very attractively on ,renan's page4 ,the book fascinates2 it seems always based upon a beautiful1 yet most inadequate1 conception4 ,february #bj4 ,many things to remember these last weeks3 ,mr4 ,whittier's visit1 and my almost daily glimpses of him1 and talks with him1--a friendship that grows more satisfactory as the years deepen life4 ,separateness of life makes communion of thought almost truer and more inspiring than when people live near each other1 and frequently meet4 ,i have more admiration and reverence for such a man1 from having found a higher standard in life for myself from which to look across and up to him4 ,i think everybody who has largeness of character like his needs perspective2 juxtaposition is not acquaintance4 ,april #bg4 ,the weeks pass too busily for record2 also ,i have not been well4 ,read with ,miss ,h---- ,maurice's 8,gospel of the ,kingdom10 ,fairbairn's 8,studies in the ,life of ,christ10 ,neander1 8,life of ,christ20 and came to ,maurice's 8,lectures on the ,gospel of ,st4 ,john10 which is left for future study4444 ,a clearer light has come1 and yet the sadness of not living wholly in the light3 the bitterness of error and failure6 ,i will not be morbid2 ,i know that there is always a better self than myself1 waiting to be set free4 ,but the riddles of life are perplexing4 ,who are we8 ,what are we struggling for8 ,i think ,maurice one of the most illuminating writers ,i ever knew4 ,he looks into a truth1 and you see what he sees1 if you see anything4 ,this stirring up of theological questions at ,andover is a phenomenon of the time2 a movement towards a simpler holding of truth1 and let us trust a greater honesty in us all in our statements of belief4 ,opinions change1 but faith lives in the heart of the truth1 not in its outward expression4 ,i wish some formulas could be laid aside1 and that we could come into a real unity of faith4 ,may #bf4 ,closing days of a lovely visit at ,melrose1 at the house of two of the most delightful people1--a true home4 ,the woods close the house in around my window1 and the birds sing close by4 ,a squirrel has fearlessly come in to visit me once or twice2 a flying squirrel1 they say it is4 ,the people ,i am with show me how beautiful it is to live truth1 justice1 and sympathy4 ,they belong to no ,church1 but their lives are most beautifully harmonized with the spirit of ,him who was1 and is1 the expression of ,god's love to man4 ,when with them ,i almost feel as if it were better not to profess religion in churches1--this living testimony is so far beyond what most ,christians can show2 but then ,i remember that it is because ,god in ,christ is in the world1 because the divinity has revealed itself in humanity1 that they are what they are4 ,how else have truth1 honor1 tenderness1 and unselfishness1 been kept alive in the human hearts1 but by that revelation of the one life as the divine standard8 ,and if the churches were all forsaken now1 we should see a sad falling off from among us of such people as these1 for most of us need constant reminders that we are the children of ,god4 ,we need the ,word1 the coming together1 the loving1 uniting memories of ,him who is our life4 ,longfellow and ,emerson gone from us before the opening of spring6 ,it is strange to think of ,new ,england without them4 ,but they are part of its life1 forever4444 ,though ,miss ,larcom was progressing in her knowledge of the ,episcopal ,church1 she felt no nearer an entrance into that body4 ,she was willing to enjoy the services at ,trinity ,church1 but she did not want ,mr4 ,brooks to think1 because of her constant attendance1 she had any thoughts of confirmation4 ,so in #ahhd she wrote him a letter1 stating her position1 which he most cordially accepted1 writing her in reply what he considered the advantages of her attitude4 #bcc ,,clarendon ,,street1 ,,boston1 ,march #bj1 #ahhd4 ,,my ,,dear ,,miss ,,larcom1--,my delay in answering your letter does not mean that ,i was not deeply interested in it1 and very glad to get it4 ,it only means that ,i have been too busy to write calmly about anything1 and even now ,i write mainly to say how glad ,i shall be if some time or other we can quietly talk over what you have written4 ,for the present1 however1 let me only say1 that ,i accept most cordially the position which you describe for yourself4 ,i am content that our ,church should be a helpful friend to one who has been living among quite different associations1 and who does not think it best to come into closer personal connection with her4 ,if ,god means that there should ever be a closer association of life between you and the ,episcopal ,church1 ,he will make it plain in due time4 ,it is not bad1 perhaps1 that among the special connections with particular bodies of ,christians which come in our lives1 there should be one period in which1 from the very breaking of our associations with the bodies of ,christians1 we are able to realize more directly our relation to the body of ,christ4 ,perhaps this is such a time for you4 ,if it is1 and whether it is or not1 may you find more and more of ,his light and help1 and if anything that ,i can do1 or that ,trinity ,church can do1 is ever a source of happiness or strength to you1 ,i know that you will be sure that ,i am very glad4 ,with kindest wishes1 always1 ,i am yours most sincerely1 ,,phillips ,,brooks4 ,,chapter ,x4 ,,undercurrents4 #ahhd-ahhi4 ,,to ,,miss ,s4 ,h4 ,,ward4 ,january #a1 #ahhd4 ,,dear ,,susie ,,ward1--,something has just brought you to mind2 ,i saw your address in print in an almanac1 and ,i felt like sending a ,new ,year's greeting to the schoolgirl ,i knew--was it thirty years ago8 ,i am very fond of those dear girls of mine1 though ,i seldom see them1 and would like to send a ,new ,year's greeting to them all4 ,ever your friend1 ,,lucy ,,larcom4 ,,to ,,the ,,same4 ,,beverly1 ,,mass41 ,january #ae1 #ahhd4 ,,my ,,dear ,,susie1--,it is so pleasant to take up the threads of an old friendship again6 ,it always reassures me of the hereafter of souls1 that even here after long intervals1 we find ourselves still at home with those who had slipped away from us apparently4 ,they are really still in their place1 and we are sure of them and know where to find them4 ,i have had many changes since we were much together1 but life is the same good gift of the ,lord ,i always knew it to be1 only more wonderful as one gets deeper into it4 ,always yours1 ,,lucy ,,larcom4 ,,to ,j4 ,g4 ,,whittier4 ,,wolfville1 ,,nova ,,scotia1 ,august #ba1 #ahhd4 ,,my ,,dear ,,friend1--,i am moved to write to you from here1 where ,i sit looking out upon the ,basin of ,minas1 and ,grand ,pr itself1 the mud of which latter ,i have been trying to remove from my dress1 though ,i suppose ,i ought to let it stay spattered with poetic associations6 ,yesterday we were taken to drive through the ,valley of the ,gaspereau1 a lovely region1 under perfect cultivation1--and so on1 over the old dikes of ,grand ,pr1 where we stood upon the site of the old church1 and saw the cellar of what was supposed to be the priest's house1 close by the church4 ,the people here think they know where ,evangeline's father lived1 and just where ,basil the blacksmith had his forge1--so mixed are our illusions with our historic certainties6 ,i find myself believing in ,evangeline as a real maiden1 one who once lived and suffered on this very soil1 and ,i gathered a daisy and a wild rose for you1 which her hand might have plucked1 instead of mine1 as a memorial of her lost home4 ,miss ,j---- and ,i are stopping at the village doctor's4 ,mrs4 ,fitch1 who keeps his house1 takes a very few boarders4 ,his orchard is loaded with apples and pears1 and his garden opens out on the meadow close upon the first dike built by the ,french ,acadians4 ,we are finding the hottest weather of the season1 and are glad not to be in any city just now4 ,we had a pleasant sail to ,halifax--the sea as smooth as glass1 and so no excuse for sickness4 ,i had friends in ,halifax1 who took us to the citadel and the park1 the latter the finest ,i ever saw1 because left chiefly to nature3 just woods of pine and spruce1 overlooking the harbor1 which ,i can well believe to be what the ,nova ,scotians claim for it--the most beautiful harbor in the world4 ,we go the last of the week to ,annapolis and ,digby1 and home by the way of ,mt4 ,desert1 which ,i have never visited4 ,i go from there to ,bethel1 to spend ,september1--read my proof--and escape hay-fever--7as ,i hope674 ,you are often spoken of here1 and by those who wish you would visit the place4 ,the journey is a long one1 and ,i suppose1 as ,i tell them1 that you would not feel like taking it4 ,but there is a charm about the people and the region which can only be felt by being here1--everybody seems very intelligent1 and very hospitable1--no extreme poverty anywhere1 that ,i can see4 ,thine always1 ,,lucy ,,larcom4 ,,to ,,phillips ,,brooks4 #ab ,,concord ,,square1 ,march #bf1 #ahhe4 ,,dear ,,mr4 ,,brooks1--,i called at the chapel yesterday afternoon1 but others were waiting to see you1 and it was getting late in the day1 so ,i did not stay4 ,i had1 indeed1 no good excuse for taking your time2 but it would have been a great pleasure to speak to you1 after my winter's imprisonment with illness4 ,it is only within a week or two that ,i have come to ,boston1 or been out to church at all4 ,i have enjoyed1 almost to pain1 the few services ,i have attended1 for ,i am not sure that ,i hold myself in the right manner towards ,god's people1 with whom ,i so fully sympathize in spirit4 ,i wonder if ,i really am in the ,church6 ,my childish consecration was sincere2 ,i entered the communion of the sect in which ,i was baptized and brought up1 from an earnest longing to come nearer to ,christ1--a desire which has grown with me through all the years2 only now it reaches out beyond all names and groupings1 towards the whole ,communion of ,saints in ,him4 ,nothing less than this is the real ,church to me4 ,some narrowness ,i find in every denomination1 and this distresses and repels me1 so that ,i cannot tell where ,i belong4 ,yet when ,i go to ,trinity ,church1 ,i feel myself taken possession of1 borne upward on the tide of loving loyalty to ,christ2 and ,i know that it has not been well for me to live apart from my kindred4 ,i wish ,i could find myself among the group who consecrate themselves to-night3 but1 as you once said to me1 if that were the way for me1 it would be made plain4 ,and ,i shall consider ,trinity as home1 whenever ,i am in ,boston4 ,i did have one little request to make1--it was liberty to use some paragraphs from your printed sermons in a compilation which ,i may prepare this year4 ,i shall take it that ,i have permission1 unless forbidden4 ,faithfully yours1 ,,lucy ,,larcom4 ,,to ---- ,december #c1 #ahhe4 ,i heard ,canon ,farrar preach and lecture4 ,he is not remarkable1 it seems to me1 except for his moral and spiritual earnestness1 but that is remarkable1 as men go4 ,i liked his lecture1 for it will help to foster a good feeling between us two brother nations of the ,english race4 ,england and ,america ought to feel themselves one4444 ,when the summer came1 ,miss ,larcom always looked forward with pleasure to her mountain-homes1 of which she had a number1 in ,new ,hampshire and ,maine4 ,the hills gave her rest2 and the beauty of the views1 with the grand distances1 suggesting freedom and the thought of being above the common level1 gave her inspiration for her work4 ,each year she tried to visit the various points she loved--,ossipee ,park1 ,the ,notch1 ,bethlehem1 ,moosilauke1 ,bethel1 ,centre ,harbor1 and ,berlin ,falls4 ,bethel fascinated her with its sight of the ,androscoggin and its majestic elms1 and the view of ,mt4 ,moriah and some of the ,presidential ,range1--,madison1 ,adams1 and ,washington4 ,at ,mr4 ,john ,russell's ,riverside ,cottage she was always welcome2 and back of the house1 on the crest of the mountain1 was a little glen1 shaded by evergreens1 in which she used to sit and read1 called 8,miss ,larcom's ,retreat40 ,sitting on the low bench1 in this nook1 she wrote the poem 8,on the ,ledge30-- 8,here is shelter and outlook1 deep rest and wide room2 ,the pine woods behind1 breathing balm out of gloom2 ,before1 the great hills over vast levels lean1-- ,a glory of purple1 a splendor of green4 ,as a new earth and heaven1 ye are mine once again1 ,ye beautiful meadows and mountains of ,maine40 ,she always enjoyed ,ossipee ,park1 with its wonderful brook1 8set in the freshness of perfect green10 and watched it widen into pools and leap into cascades4 ,she wrote of it1 8,ah6 this is the sort of retreat for friends who like to meet or separate within the sound of a voice which surely wins them together again side by side40 ,bethlehem1 besides giving her freedom from hay-fever1 was always 8the beautiful40 ,moosilauke was her favorite summit4 ,from these places she generally wrote charming letters to the ,portland 8,transcript10 which its readers will remember1 and others may judge of by the following from ,wood-,giant's ,hill1 ,centre ,harbor4 8,there is a peculiar charm in ,new ,hampshire hill scenery just at this season1 before the roses have faded1 or the hay is mown1 or the bobolinks have ceased singing among the clover blossoms1 and while the midsummer-tide is rolling up over all1 and blending all in haze and heat1--a mingling of freshness and ripeness that is indescribably lovely4 ,one should surely be among the hills before the ,fourth of ,july1 to catch the best of their beauty1 as well as to escape the dust and distractions of the patriotic anniversary4 8,to sit at a western window and look off upon the ,beulah-like landscape1 slope upon slope of rolling1 forest-crowned hills ascending towards bluer heights which lose themselves among dim lines of half-revealed higher horizons--to feel the air sweeping across from the softly-blended infinite spaces1 over pine woods and fields in full flower--to breathe it all in like the odor of some divine nectar--is there anything like it in the whole year1 except at the meeting point of ,june and ,july1 and in such a region as this4 ,for we know that there are lakes all around us1 sleeping unseen in the midsummer haze1 and we know that the invisible mountains lie just beyond those lovely ascending distances before us4 8,and so1 when a sweeter waft of coolness refreshes every sense1 and we ask with wonder what makes it so sweet1 the answer seems borne onward with its very breath3-- 8#8,the gale informs us1 laden with the scent4' 8,it brings us the spice of pine woods and the clear drip of ice-cold waterfalls2 the breath of pond lilies and sweet-brier and unmown scented grasses1 clover-tops and mountain-tops1 blended in one draught2 and that delicate bubble of song which rises from the meadows1 the faint farewell chorus of summer birds that seem loth to go1 makes the full cup overflow with musical foam4 8,i saw the sun drop last evening--its magnified reflection1 rather--into the larger ,lake ,asquam1 like a ball of crimson flame4 ,the sun itself went down1 hot and red1 into a band of warm mist that hung over the hills4 ,the #8,wood ,giant' stood above me audibly musing4 ,his twilight thoughts were untranslatable1 but perhaps the wood-thrushes understood1 for they sent up their mystical chant from the thickets below1 in deep harmony with the music of his boughs4 8,the higher summits have not unveiled themselves yet1 not even ,cardigan or ,mount ,israel4 ,steaming across the lake from ,wolfboro' three sunsets since1 it seemed to me that there was a compensation in this invisibility of the loftier hills4 ,only ,red ,hill and the ,ossipee ,range were to be seen2 and they loomed up in huge grandeur1 asserting themselves to be1 as they are1 the dominant guardians of ,winnipiseogee4 ,it is seldom that the ,beautiful ,lake loses them from sight40 ,,to ,,mrs4 ,s4 ,i4 ,,spalding4 ,,centre ,,harbor1 ,n4 ,h41 ,october #g1 #ahee4 444 ,i have had my 8outing0 at ,bethlehem2 ,i went there hardly able to sit up during the journey1 but gained strength at once1 and am well now4 ,i stayed there more than four weeks1 and enjoyed it much4 ,mr4 ,howells and family were at the next house1 and ,i saw them several times4 ,bethlehem is a very public place4 ,i found a good deal of calling and visiting going on4 ,but the house life was delightful4 ,i spent last week at ,ossipee ,park1 the loveliest spot in ,new ,england1 ,i think4 ,i am here for a week or more1 at the place where ,mr4 ,whittier was in the summer4 ,mrs4 ,sturtevant is an old friend of mine1 and her housekeeping leaves nothing to be desired4 ,you would like the place and it is easily accessible1--only a mile back of ,centre ,harbor4 ,mr4 ,whittier's poem1 8,the ,wood ,giant10 was written here4 ,you can see the tree above others1 ten miles across the lake1 at ,ossipee ,park--it is down in the pasture1 a little way from this house1 looking towards sunset over the lake4444 ,,to ,j4 ,g4 ,,whittier4 ,,hotel ,,byron1 ,,boston1 ,april #bc1 #ahhf4 ,,my ,,dear ,,friend1--,i have been in and about ,boston for the past three weeks1 and of late have been interested in this new study of ,theosophy1 which so many are looking into4 ,i have wondered how you regard it4 ,what ,i most enjoy about it is the larger horizons it opens upon our true spiritual sight1--glimpses only1 it is true1--but we could not bear more than that1 doubtless4 ,and the moral and spiritual truth it unfolds and inculcates is of the loftiest4 ,it harmonizes so entirely with the highest ,christianity1 no believer in that can find cause for cavil4 ,and yet1 it is far behind the spirit of ,christianity1 as we have it from the ,divine ,teacher's lips and life2 in that the common mind is shut out from a clear comprehension of its meaning4 8,the simplicity that is in ,christ0 is the true gospel1 whatever wisdom beside this may be given to sages and seekers4 ,the gospel for the poor and the ignorant is the gospel for us all4 ,and ,i suppose those that go farthest into these other deep secrets are the humblest4 ,spiritual pride is indeed pronounced the greatest of all sins by these1 and by ,christian souls4 ,but how beautiful it is to know that truth is one1 and that life is one1 and that all over the world1 and through all the ages1 men are entering into and sharing the great inheritance6 ,i may find much that ,i cannot accept1 but what of that1 if ,i am brought nearer to the heart of humanity1 in its fraternal aspirations towards the ,father of our spirits6 ,faithfully thy friend1 ,,lucy ,,larcom4 #bcc ,,clarendon ,,street1 ,,boston1 ,december #bh1 #ahhf4 ,,dear ,,miss ,,larcom1--,i cannot let your kind note pass without at least a word of gratitude and welcome4 ,it is good to know that you are in ,boston again1 and that ,i may sometimes speak to you on ,sundays4 ,i should be sorry indeed to think that the winter would pass without letting me1 somewhere1 sometime1 come to more familiar friendly talk with you4 ,you will find me the chance1 ,i hope1 either by coming here1 or letting me know where ,i may come to you4 ,at any rate1 ,i am glad that you are here1 and ,i send you my best ,new ,year's wishes4 ,i do not want you to think that ,i am aspiring to poetry4 8,the ,little ,town of ,bethlehem0 was written more than twenty years ago1 for a ,christmas service of my ,sunday school in ,philadelphia4 ,it has been printed in hymn-books since1 and sung at a good many ,christmases1 and where the newspapers find it1 all of a sudden1 ,i do not know6 ,ever faithfully your friend1 ,,phillips ,,brooks4 ,it has been stated that ,miss ,larcom was barely able to support herself by her writings4 ,she realized1 like many another author1 that ,mr4 ,whittier's words were true when he wrote her that 8the hardest way of earning bread and butter in this world is to coin one's brains1 as an author1 into cash1 or spin them into greenbacks40 ,she could1 however1 do very well1 so long as her health was good4 ,in addition to the copyright on her books1 she received payment from the magazines for her work1--8,st4 ,nicholas0 sometimes gave her fifty dollars for an article4 8,harper's0 and the 8,independent0 paid her the same rates as they did to 8,h4 ,h40 ,she also contributed to 8,wide ,awake10 the 8,christian ,union10 the 8,congregationalist10 and to many minor papers1 like the 8,cottage ,hearth40 ,but she was subject to severe attacks of illness1 which rendered her1 for the time1 incapable of writing4 ,then it was that her friends came forward to aid her2 any assistance1 however1 she was loth to accept4 ,this unwillingness to receive help gave rise to an interesting scene between herself and ,mr4 ,whittier4 ,at one time1 her strength and resources had been reduced by illness4 ,she was lying upon her couch when ,mr4 ,whittier came1 and1 seating himself beside her1 said1 8,now1 ,lucy1 this is altogether too bad40 8,what is too bad80 8,why1 that thee should work for the world all thy days1 and then lie here1 worrying about expenses40 8,i don't worry4 ,the ,lord has always taken care of me40 8,but1 ,lucy1 thee ought to worry4 ,the ,lord has made thee capable of caring for thyself4 ,why not be more practicable8 ,i have done something about this40 8,i knew you had1 as soon as this talk began4 ,now1 ,i thank you1 but ,i will not touch one cent of the money you collect40 8,don't be foolish4 ,thee will2 and thee must not waste thy remaining strength in rebellion40 ,a compromise was made by her taking a pension of a hundred dollars a year1 from a ,quaker ,home1 in ,philadelphia1 and a few annual subscriptions--one from ,mr4 ,george ,w4 ,childs4 ,,to ,j4 ,g4 ,,whittier4 ,,hotel ,,byron1 ,,berkeley ,,st41 ,,boston1 ,,mass41 ,february #d1 #ahhg4 ,,my ,,dear ,,friend1--,i have been away two days1 and on returning1 find thy note and the enclosed check for one hundred dollars4 ,a greater surprise could not have awaited me4 ,and1 curiously enough1 ,i had been amusing myself just before1 with the thought of the great fortunes rolling about the world1 without ever so much as touching me6 ,and ,i had said to myself that the ,great ,disposer of all these things1 who is also my ,father1 doubtless had a purpose in it1--perhaps that ,i was to prove to the very end that life could be very cheerful and comfortable without much money1 and with unremitting effort to earn a moderate living1 so long as my strength should hold out4 ,and ,i felt like acquiescing gratefully1 happy in my restored health1 in my interest in my work1 and in doing and being all that it is in me to do and to be for others1--for life does look every day larger and deeper and more beautiful in its possibilities1 even this one small life of mine1 in this world of ,god's4 ,i think ,i was rather in danger of looking down on the millionaires1 and pitying them for their heavier burdens of responsibility4 ,i always feel rich when ,i feel well1 and ,i was not conscious of a present want1 although ,i knew my purse was getting light1 and ,i was not sure whether ,i could afford to stay in ,boston through the winter1 but now ,i see that ,i can1 for ,i shall take your advice1 and keep the check4 ,i suppose ,i should never have consented to have my name used1 as one who needed assistance1 but ,i have great confidence in your wisdom1 and if you thought it right1 ,i could not object4 ,but you know that ,i have never suffered from want1 and that ,i am able to work1 although three-score4 ,the only wish ,i have ever had in connection with money1 is for the freedom it might give me to choose my work1 and the place where ,i should live4 ,when ,i can do that1 ,i don't know that ,i shall have any further desire1 for myself4 ,and if ,i really need that1 ,god will give it to me4 ,if ,mr4 ,childs has really sent the money to me1 ,i must thank him for it1 and ,i will do so1 if you will kindly send me his address4 ,you see how ignorant ,i am about our good rich people1 when ,i don't know whether to address him as 8,mr40 or 8,esq40 or write with ,quaker plainness6 ,you said1 8,philadelphia40 ,is that enough1 without street or number8 ,i thank thee sincerely for all the kind thoughts that this matter implies on thy part4 ,and ,i feel more and more assured that the silver and the gold belong to ,god1 and that ,he spends it where ,he will4 ,if ,he puts it into ,mr4 ,childs' hand for me1 ,i will not refuse it--not from any good man's hand4 ,only please remember that thee must not let people think ,i am poor1 when ,i am not4 ,shall we not see thee before long8 ,gratefully yours1 ,,lucy ,,larcom4 ,one of ,miss ,larcom's greatest pleasures was the visits she was able to make to her congenial friends4 ,not being tied by family cares1 it was possible for her to accept some of the many invitations she constantly received from those who loved her4 ,her presence in a household was like a peaceful influence1 for she had the delightful gift of being an agreeable guest4 ,always sympathetic1 never intruding into the privacy of family matters1 reticent about her troubles1 and eager to impart her joys1 with a fund of humor always at hand1 she made a charming companion2 and her visit was always remembered as an event in the year4 ,there are many homes that have had the privilege of entertaining her1 and receiving something from the close contact with her personality4 ,one of her hostesses1 ,mrs4 ,james ,guild1 of ,roxbury1 in whose house she used to enjoy hours of ,plato study1 and where the last few years of her life she found rest1 says1 8,in passing the library1 ,i often looked through the portires1 to behold the presence in the room1--the white1 peaceful face1 that seemed to wear a halo4 ,she would have three or four books at once on her knee1 and look up smiling to ask1 #8,am ,i not greedy8 ,i don't know which of these to read first6 ,i do love books1 but not better than friends2 when you are at leisure1 ,i am ready to sit with you4'0 ,,to ,,mrs4 ,s4 ,i4 ,,spalding4 ,,williamstown1 ,,mass41 ,october #aj1 #ahhg4 444 ,i came here1 through ,lake ,george and ,saratoga1 last ,friday4 ,i am visiting at ,president ,carter's1 my old friend1 who has a charming family and home4 ,the town itself is most beautiful1 and ,i have been driving about among the ,berkshire ,hills1 finding them no less enjoyable for what ,i have seen of the ,adirondacks4 ,president ,carter is at present away on business4 ,a case of possible hazing is one of the most trying--the facts are so hard to get at4 ,the spirit of this college is entirely opposed to such things4 ,he is also a corporate member of the ,american ,board4 ,i do not sympathize with the turn affairs have taken4 ,it looks to me like a long step backward4 ,it cannot be that a disputed theological point is to settle the world's salvation4 ,and the inquisitorial spirit tends so entirely to bitterness and harsh judgment2 it proves itself foreign to the spirit of ,christ4 ,may ,god reveal himself to these benighted theologians6 ,,to ,j4 ,g4 ,,whittier4 ,,beverly1 ,,mass41 ,april #bd1 #ahhh4 ,,my ,,dear ,,friend1--,yesterday ,i returned to ,beverly1 having done something quite uncommon1 for me1--taken a trip to the ,jerseys4 ,i went on urgent invitation from old pupils and school-friends at ,wheaton ,seminary1 who gave a breakfast at ,hotel ,brunswick1 ,new ,york4 ,i met a good many people ,i was glad to see1 and made most of my visit at ,mr4 ,ward's1 of the 8,independent40 ,his sister1 who keeps house for him1 at ,newark1 is a former pupil of mine4 ,then ,i had an invitation from a schoolmate at ,monticello1 ,illinois1 who lives at ,orange1 ,new ,jersey1 and ,i stayed there several days4 ,i went over ,new ,york and ,brooklyn by the bridge and the elevated railway1 but scarcely touched the metropolis4 ,however1 ,i saw my old friends1 and a good many new people1 and had a pleasant time4 ,and now1 ,i am urgently invited to my old ,illinois seminary1 in ,june1 when it has its semi-centennial anniversary4 ,i am afraid ,i shall have to go1 as my ,minnesota sister seconds the motion1 and she expects to move to ,california1 another year4 ,what a moving world it is6444 ,the 8,new ,england ,girlhood10 published in #ahhi1 was at once a success4 ,few facts of ,miss ,larcom's life had been generally known up to this time3 there had been1 however1 interesting biographical sketches printed from time to time1 notably ,mrs4 ,a4 ,d4 ,t4 ,whitney's sketch1 in 8,american ,women of ,note10 and her own article1 in the 8,atlantic ,monthly10 with the title 8,among ,lowell ,mill-,girls40 ,but in this book she took her friends into her confidence1 and showed such genuineness of feeling1 and love for her modest beginnings in the old town of ,beverly1 with its lanes1 its woods1 and its seacoast1 that her description stirred up the memory of similar days in the thought of ,new ,england people1 at home1 and in distant parts of the country4 ,this account of her youth contains the best elements of her thought and life1 in a story1 charming for its simplicity and truthful portraiture of ,new ,england homes before any of the modern changes had taken place1--those changes that introduced stoves and shut up the great fireplaces1 that substituted for the stage-coach the horse and electric car1 put clocks on the mantelpiece1 and relegated to the junk-shops the 8tin kitchens0 and the three-legged 8trivet40 ,its homely incident and the sincerity of its religious sentiment render it an excellent book to put into the hands of young girls2 by reading it they are brought into connection with the refined and vigorous girlhood of an actual life4 ,one critic remarked1 8,if there could be more biography like this1 there would be less call for fiction40 ,miss ,larcom received numerous letters of thanks for having written the book4 ,a gentleman sent her a check1 as an evidence of his satisfaction4 ,an aged man wrote1--8,if it was written for the young1 it certainly was for the old4 ,i am now eighty-five years old and never was more delighted40 ,mr4 ,whittier sent his approval3 8,i am reading the book for the second time1 with increased pleasure2 ,i recall my first meeting with thee at ,lowell1 after thy return from the ,west40 ,that she enjoyed these tokens of appreciation1 this letter indicates4 ,,to ,,mrs4 ,s4 ,i4 ,,spalding4 #bad ,,columbus ,,avenue1 ,saturday evening1 ,december #bh1 #ahhi4 ,,my ,,dear ,,friend1--,i have just come in and read ,mrs4 ,s----'s letter1 which ,i return4 ,her enthusiasm inspires me just as ,i like to be inspired4 ,i felt in writing the book that ,i was just entering into my past life1 and taking my friends with me4 ,i did not feel that ,i was making a 8literary effort10 but just taking a little journey backward4 ,i appreciate the readers who will simply go along with me1 as ,mrs4 ,s---- does4 ,i am glad to give myself to those who understand the gift1 and ,i would like to find more in myself for them1 if ,i could4 ,it is just like taking hold of hands all round1 these pleasant acknowledgments that come to me4 ,it is our life that we are enjoying together4444 ,mr4 ,brooks sent one of his short1 characteristic notes1 thanking her for 8,a ,new ,england ,girlhood40 #bcc ,,clarendon ,,street1 ,,boston1 ,december #i1 #ahhi4 ,,my ,,dear ,,miss ,,larcom1--,i have never been a ,yankee girl1 and yet ,i felt that ,i recognized every picture in what ,i read1 and ,i have read it all4 ,to hear of the ,american ,first ,class ,book again was like a breeze out of my childhood6 ,and ,i hope all the girls are reading it1 and catching the flavor of its healthy spirit4 ,at any rate1 ,i thank you for it1 and ,i am yours most sincerely1 ,,phillips ,,brooks4 ,,chapter ,,xi4 ,,membership ,,in ,,the ,,episcopal ,,church4 ,the longing for a religious home asserted itself in ,miss ,larcom's life1 and the thought came to her that she was not testifying to her deep love for her ,master1 by withholding herself from active membership in some ,church of ,christ4 ,in her diary1 where she wrote with great freedom her inmost feelings1 there are passages which indicate discontent with her negative position4 ,she was being forced to a conclusion3-- 8,i must decide for myself whether the ,church is a reality to me2 whether1 in the visible ,church1 working for it1 and with it1 ,i can be more useful than ,i should be1 floating on still1 trying to accommodate myself to circumstances1 and to harmonize myself with the best in everything1 without any special ties4 ,having lived outside the ,church so long1 ,i have a great longing for a closer sympathy and working together with others4 ,but whether it can be with my old ,congregational friends1 ,i am not certain4 ,it would be better to stay with them1 identified with their name and work1 if ,i can do it from my heart1 but not if ,i am called upon to say anything that ,i do not believe40 ,while in this state of uncertainty1 the ,church was gradually making its way into her life4 ,she looked forward to each ,sunday1 with eagerness2 and the message from the day's sermon she either put in her diary1 or conveyed1 by means of letters1 to her little crippled friend1 ,elsie ,l----4 ,the ,church-,year1 with its sacred anniversaries1 became very dear to her4 ,in her diary1 there is a record referring to ,passion ,week1 that shows her appreciation of these ,church days3 8,i think it most beautiful to keep these memorial days of the ,church1 whether we belong to the ,episcopal ,church or any other4 ,these are the days for all ,christians to observe40 ,april #h1 ,good ,friday4 ,passion ,week has been a revelation to me of the divine history made real4 ,it has seemed to me as if ,i really followed and faltered with the disciples1 in ,gethsemane1 at the mock trial of ,pilate1 and through the terrible scenes of the ,crucifixion4 ,it is so much to the world1 that the ,church has kept up the ,christian year1 with these awful and glorious anniversaries4 ,how often their reality has faded out1 when men are left to themselves4 ,i could thank the ,church1 almost1 for having impressed them so upon her history1 that they sometimes seem hardened into it6 ,she has never let them become mere idle tales2 the life and death of ,christ1 held so close to her heart1 have kept her alive1 through all her formalisms4 ,in the worship1 the part taken by the congregation1 in responsive readings1 prayers1 versicles1 and ,litany1 appealed to her4 ,she felt that she was not being preached at through the disguise of a prayer1 but that all--minister and people--joined in the praises to ,god1 each with a phrase on his lips and a meditation in his heart4 ,the dignity and orderly arrangement of the services1 together with the use of the stately words of the ,prayer ,book1 made her appreciate the beautiful formality of such devotional customs4 ,her affections were strengthened by an act which seemed to open a new set of experiences to her4 ,this act was the partaking of the ,holy ,communion early on ,easter ,day1 in #ahhg4 ,mr4 ,brooks had given notice1 inviting to the ,lord's ,supper any persons who might desire to come1 though they belonged to some other branch of the ,church of ,christ4 ,a friend of ,miss ,larcom urged her to accept the invitation4 ,the generosity of it fascinated her2 the thought of all who loved ,jesus1 loving ,him perhaps in different ways1 meeting around the ,father's table1 was in thorough accord with her own feelings4 ,going to the service1 and taking her place at the altar rail1 she received the bread and wine administered in the reverent manner of the ,episcopal ,church4 ,this one act1 in the early morning of ,easter day1 revealed to her the spiritual meaning of the worship1 and seemed to bring her in closest touch with the ,master2 and afterwards the ,church became a different place to her2 she was becoming one with it1 though she yet had no right to call herself a member4 ,referring to this ,communion1 she said1 8,how free the ,lord's table ought to be6 and how beautiful it was at that early ,communion2 the church fragrant and fresh1 and glowing with flowers6 ,it seemed like meeting ,christ with ,mary in the ,garden1 just as he had risen from the ,grave6 ,i do think the ,communion service of the church most inreaching and uplifting in its earnestness1 its simplicity1 its spirituality40 8,as ,i remember this service in the ,congregational church1 that method seems almost formal in comparison with this4 ,perhaps there is something in the very movement required1--the person going forward to the table to share the bread and wine1 each with the rest1 yet each of us receiving them directly from ,christ--,his own life1 to be transfused into ours4 ,there is certainly a clearer meaning in it all to me1 whenever ,i join in the service at ,trinity ,church4 8,the crowd in the church afterwards1 who came to the later services and sermon1 was also most impressive1 filling in even every smallest space in the chancel1 among the flowers4 ,the sermon was strong and deep1 impressing the thought that life is the one reality1 and death and sorrow and sin only partial experiences4 ,life the ocean1 and all these things but ripples on the surface4 8,the last thought for the day1--in the evening1--was that injustice never does triumph1 however it may seem40 ,april #bb4 ,emeline's birthday1--the dearest of my sisters--more than a mother to me--now three-score and ten4 ,but ,i live my child-life over again with her1 and our two lives make a glad harmony all through4 ,how much shall we keep of ourselves and our human relations1 forever8 ,all that has been real1 surely4 ,and so we are mature women and little children together1 at once1 in the immortal life4 ,the past week has been one of rather unpleasant experiences1 in some ways4 ,the ,beverly ,farms bribery investigation at the ,state ,house has occupied me4 ,whether bribery or not1 great injustice is attempted on my native town1 which ,i love and will defend1 so long as ,i know her to be unmistakably in the right1 as she is now4 ,i have done the little ,i could1 so far2 have written for the newspapers1--have sent a letter of request for veto to the governor1--and joined the women of ,beverly in a petition to him1 to the same effect1 and ,i shall hold myself ready to do more1 if needed4 ,but ,i do trust that our legislature will1 of themselves1 make the matter right4 ,april #be4 ,spring is in the air1 even in ,boston1 although just a week ago to-day we had one of the worst snowstorms of the season4 ,yesterday's experience is something not to be forgotten1 though unrecordable4 ,there are no words to repeat the spirit's story1 when it is taken possession of by the highest influences1 and lifted up into the heaven of aspiration and consecration2 when the way is open through sympathy with human souls1 and with the ,eternal ,son1 into the ,father's heart4 ,how easy the spiritual life seems1 when material things fall into their subordinate places6 ,if it might always be so6 ,may #bj4 ,still in ,boston1 interested in many things4 ,people are trying to help each other4 ,i have been at the ,woman's ,industrial ,union1 have heard ,miss ,leigh talk of her work in ,paris1 have talked over the possibilities of better influences for girl-workers in ,boston1 have listened to ,miss ,freeman's report of her ,student's ,aid work at ,wellesley ,college--all so suggestive--so hopeful6 ,what should not the woman of the future be8 ,what may she not be8 8,i saw all women of our race ,revealed in that one woman's face60 ,june #f4 ,canon ,wilberforce and the great temperance meeting at ,tremont ,temple4 ,a most eloquent man1 and he goes to the very root of the matter1--no real temperance without spirituality4 8,not drunken with wine1 but filled with the ,holy ,ghost10--he made that infinite contrast clear4 ,his sermon yesterday was most impressive1--from the text1 8,what seest thou80 ,it was a ,trinity ,sunday sermon1 and the thought was that in ,jesus we see ,god most perfectly4 ,but emphasis was placed upon the attitude and condition of the soul1 for the seeing4 ,it was ,canon ,wilberforce's first sermon in ,boston1 and ,i think this is his first visit to ,america4 ,it is good to have such neighbors come to see us4 ,in the afternoon ,mr4 ,brooks spoke from the text1 8,he that hath the ,son hath life40 ,i have seldom heard him speak with more fervor1 of what life is1 and of the dreadful thing it is to lack life1 the life that comes to us and is in us through ,christ1--the life of ,god in human souls4 ,it is his last sermon for the summer1 and the text itself is one to keep close at heart all through the year4 8,not merely the knowledge of ,christ1 but ,christ ,himself with us1 we must have10 he said3 and with the thought comes the suggestion of all true relations of spirit with spirit1 the human and the divine interblended1 ,god the soul of our souls and the children one with the ,father through the ,son4 ,i thank ,god for what ,i have found at ,trinity ,church this winter3 ,i begin to know more what the true ,church is1--nothing exclusive or separating1 but the coming together of all souls in ,christ4 ,june #ab4 ,in ,beverly1 but not yet acclimated to the stronger sweep of the east winds4 ,they give rheumatic twinges4 ,but the birds sing1 and the fresh foliage is shaken out into greenness1 the rose acacia and the bridal-wreath spirea run wild in the garden1 and the freedom of nature's life revives mine4 ,the thrill of the oriole1--what a jubilation it is1 through the ,sabbath stillness2 it is better than the city in summer time4 ,read this morning ,phillips ,brooks' sermon on 8,visions0 and 8,tasks10 and several others--among them1 the 8,church of the ,living ,god40 ,with reference to doctrines1 she understood the ,church's position4 ,the great facts of ,christianity as set forth in the ,apostles ,creed1 she did not doubt2 and she liked the comprehensiveness of a ,church1 admitting those who accept these facts and desire to live a ,christian life1 and permitting a private opinion on many complicated questions of theology4 ,and yet1 with her appreciation for the ,church1 she could not make up her mind to enter it4 ,there were objections difficult for her to overcome4 ,these objections were not of a devotional or theological1 but of an ecclesiastical character4 ,high-,churchism1 including in that term ,sacerdotalism1 offered a barrier4 ,she felt that1 by joining the ,church1 she would seem to approve of this teaching1 and while she was willing to admit the historical fact of ,apostolical continuity1 she could not accept a theory of ,apostolical succession which in any way seemed to exclude from good standing1 as ,churches1 the various religious denominations which she had known and loved4 ,she said1 8,in the broad idea of ,christ's ,church1 ,episcopacy at times seems to me no less sectarian than other #8isms4'0 ,she had too much of the ,puritan in her to make any such admissions about the ,episcopal ,church that would seem to indicate that she felt it was the only ,church4 ,her position1 as late as #ahij1 is very well put1 in a letter to ,mrs4 ,s4 ,i4 ,spalding1 of ,newburyport4 8,i do feel nearer a conclusion1 such as you would approve1 than ,i ever have yet4 ,i think1 sometimes1 ,i can see my way perfectly clear1 but old notions are hard to change4 ,do you think ,i can take all the ,puritanism implied in #8,a ,new ,england ,girlhood1' into the ,church with me8 ,is it possible to be inside the latter1 and yet feel that all the others are ,churches1 too1 and that ,i am only signifying that ,i want to be more completely in union with them all1 by identifying myself with this one8 ,this is the way ,i should want to feel and do40 ,by means of letters and conversations with ,mr4 ,brooks1 she saw that it was not necessary for her to give up all her ,puritanism1 on coming into the ,church1 nor was she bound to accept the interpretation that some ,episcopalians put upon the ,sacraments or ,orders in the ministry4 ,she learned that the difficulties she was considering were dispelled by the conception of the comprehensiveness of the ,church4 ,mr4 ,brooks wrote her1 concerning a discussion in the ,church papers1 in which ,sacerdotalism was especially rampant3 8,there is nothing in it1 which is not now repeated for the hundredth time4 ,the solution of it all is in the comprehensiveness of the ,church1 which includes the vast expanse both of breadth and narrowness40 ,in ,march1 #ahij1 she came to the end of her discussions1 and seemed to see the true meaning of the ,episcopal ,church1 as one method of entering the larger ,invisible ,church of ,christ4 ,she preferred this path to others1 but looked upon it as a path1 not the end of the journey4 ,march #a1 #ahij4 ,the same questionings1--yet a clearer light upon the meaning of the ,church has gradually come to me4 ,it is as if there were many doors of entrance into one vast temple1 some of them opened a little way1 and with much scrutiny from within of applicants for admission2 some swung wide with welcome4 ,but there is one united worship inside1 only some prefer to group themselves in cloisters or corners2 but there is freedom and light for all who will receive them4 ,the ,episcopal ,church seems to have several doors of its own1--some wide and some narrow2 it is not the ,church1--only one way of entering ,christ's ,church4 ,if ,i can enter it that way1 ,i am already there4 ,and ,i believe more positively than ever1 that we should say1 in some distinct1 personal way1 that ,christ is the centre and head of humanity1 and that our whole life1 earthly and heavenly1 is hid in ,him4 ,what belongs to me in ,puritanism ,i shall never lay aside2 ,i could not1 if ,i would4 ,but ,i do see more of a hope for future unity in the ,church service than in any other way2 and if ,i can see therein for myself the perfect freedom of ,christ's service1 ,i am ready to make a new profession there4 ,i am waiting only for ,his guidance1 now4 ,i see more and more how much the writings of ,maurice have been to me for the past twenty years4 ,he is continually unfolding my own thoughts to me1--his absolute sincerity is contagious4 ,i want no pretenses1 no subterfuges or concessions in the spiritual life4 ,he speaks to me more clearly than almost any audible voice4 ,and his words seem the expression of the mind of ,christ4 ,march #e4 ,my birthday4 ,and the world seems as if it were dimly dawning anew to me4 ,everything in my life has taken a touch of awe1--of strangeness4 ,i do not know that there is any new gladness in the decision ,i made yesterday1 to be 8confirmed0 at ,trinity ,church1 but there is a settled feeling that may grow into happiness4 ,i can say that my 8heart is fixed10 and my life will be firmer and more settled1 for having found a place for itself4 ,the church itself seemed a different and more beautiful place1 as ,i sat there and listened to the story of the ,woman of ,samaria1 and of the separateness of souls in consecrated work4 8,meat to eat that ye know not of10 the doing of ,god's will1--the hidden manna and the white stone1 with the new name known only to him who receives it4 ,yes1 this one little decision has opened closed doors to me already--everything looks sacred4 ,march #bj4 ,last night ,i knelt in the chancel at ,trinity ,church1 and received1 with many others1 the benediction of consecrated hands2 and to-day ,i can think of myself as avowedly in the visible ,church once more4 ,i have been in a false position all these years1--,i see it now4 ,it does mean something to name the name of ,christ in the presence of ,his people1 as one of their company4 ,i have not been an unbeliever1 ever2 ,he has been dear to me always1 and most real to my heart4 ,it was tranquillizing1 to be bending there with all that young life1--7no other older life71 the snow falling without1 soft and white as doves' wings1 and the quiet consecration filling all hearts within4 ,i was not wholly happy2 ,i have had too many struggles with myself1 and misapprehension between my own heart and others1 perhaps1 to feel glad or uplifted1--but ,i was calm and thankful1 and felt the atmosphere of blessing surrounding us all4 ,it is good to have taken this position2 ,i shall feel stronger and richer in life and spirit for it1 ,i trust and believe4 ,the few words of ,mr4 ,brooks this morning at the church seemed to carry out the spirit of last night's service4 ,we climb up the great mountain-tops1 he said1 but we cannot live there1 though we may keep their inspiration within us4 ,but the high table-lands which we have gained by long gradual ascent1--we can live and breathe there2 and can grow hopeful in the broad outlook before us4 ,such are the consecrations of life to which we have grown step by step1 out of which greater developments are to open for us1 and above which the loftier summits are always overhanging4 ,march #bf4 ,the thought that has been with me most these few days is that consecration means service3 that it is not for one's self alone1--not the mere endeavor after personal holiness1--but to give the life into which we enter to all other lives we can reach4 7,john xvii4 #ah1 #ai47 ,the spirit of these words of ,christ is the true setting apart of life1 for the sake of all human lives4 ,the chapter for to-day--the going forth of ,joshua into ,canaan after that glorious ,nebo-,vision of ,moses1 is full of suggestions for me4 ,i have not yet possessed my whole life1 none of us have1 but we go forward courageously into it1 in the name of the ,lord4 ,we have sketched1 chiefly in her own words1 for they have a greater significance1 the history of a religious woman1 finding her way into the ,kingdom of ,christ through the doorway of the ,episcopal ,church4 ,she was a catholic1 broad-minded ,christian1 and she became satisfied with the doctrine and worship of the ,church4 ,she looked upon it as one branch of the ,church of ,god1 but she also acknowledged other branches2 it became as much a home to her as it was possible for any ,church to be4 ,she grew to love it1 but the ideal and ,invisible ,church was ever before her mind4 ,the religious history of her life is like that of many others--those who have become dissatisfied with a theology made up of men's opinions1 and who seek light and life in the personality of ,jesus4 ,there are many persons to-day1 with natures capable of spiritual insight1 who have been educated to appreciate the best in our literature1 who believe in righteousness1--people with poetry in them1 and a delicate sense of fitness and dignity1 who are thinking of the ,episcopal ,church as a religious home4 ,to such persons1 a progress similar to that of ,miss ,larcom can be effected only by the ,church emphasizing those qualities which attracted her4 ,these characteristics of the ,church may be summarized as the spirituality1 the breadth1 and the magnanimity of the ,church4 ,prominent through all the services1 the various organized forms of church work1 the observances of festivals and seasons1 must be the spiritual idea for which they all stand4 ,this spiritual idea is the bringing of the individual soul into such relations with ,jesus that it will find its truest self in ,him and through ,him1 find its greatest activity in reaching other souls4 ,this great aim is frequently lost sight of1 because the ,churches are so often business establishments for the collection of money1 and the successful management of organizations4 ,but there are souls longing to be fed1 and these should be remembered when the church seasons come1 by the administration of ,sacraments as the simple offering of nourishment to those who need it1 not with the theological accompaniments of argument1 but in the sacredness of dependence on ,christ1 as in the first ,easter communion of ,lucy ,larcom1 at ,trinity ,church4 ,there is no need to elaborate the ideas of the breadth1 or magnanimity of the ,church2 for1 in this day of vigorous thought and reconstruction of older doctrines1 both of these characteristics would seem to commend themselves1 on their simple announcement3 for who is it that longs for the narrowness of a 8,westminster ,confession0 or even the mild bondage of 8,the ,thirty-,nine ,articles08 ,and who is it that has sufficient effrontery to un-church the millions who are trying in their own ways to serve their ,lord8 ,that there is such narrowness in the ,episcopal ,church no one can deny2 it is in opposition to this that it must present itself to the world1 as a comprehensive and tolerant ,church4 ,lucy ,larcom1 a ,puritan1 seized upon the vital truths of the ,episcopal ,church4 ,if these are kept before the people1 this ,church1 as a part of the kingdom of ,christ1 may hope to have a large influence in the development of ,american ,christianity4 ,,chapter ,,xii4 ,,last ,,years4 ,miss ,larcom was loved in ,beverly4 ,the townspeople were justly proud of her1 and they always welcomed her sweet face into their homes4 ,she was interested in the ,town ,improvement ,society1 and once1 at one of its entertainments1 she read two or three of her poems4 ,when there was an effort made to secure ,prospect ,hill for a public park1 she sent some appropriate lines to the local paper1 hoping to influence opinion4 ,her public spirit1 as shown in her letters and diaries1 was also active in her life1 and she joined1 according to her opportunities1 in such affairs as could receive aid from her pen1 and the townspeople were gratified by her contributions to the village life4 ,the success in literature of a ,beverly boy made her happy4 ,when ,mr4 ,george ,e4 ,woodberry entered the company of ,american poets by the publishing of the 8,north ,shore ,watch10 a volume containing the triumphant ode1 8,my ,country10 not unworthy of comparison with ,lowell's 8,commemoration ,ode10 and the strong sonnets1 8,at ,gibraltar10 and the classic 8,agathon10 she was one of the first to send him her appreciation4 ,,to ,,george ,,edward ,,woodberry4 #bad ,,columbus ,,avenue1 ,,boston1 ,february #ah1 #ahhi4 ,,dear ,,mr4 ,,woodberry1--,i have just been reading your poems1 and have been so much moved by them that ,i wanted at once to tell you how deeply they appeal to me4 ,most of our modern verse1--and ,i include my own1--is too superficially lyrical1 the measure often muffles the meaning1--the thought flies off through the sound4 ,in yours1 the music and the meaning unfold together1 always hinting the deeper chords half awakened beneath4 ,the feeling of the unexpressed and the inexpressible infinite--that which is at the source of everything real--that which is life itself1 is in your poetry1 as in almost no other modern poetry that ,i have read4 ,the 8,transcript0 compares it with ,clough's4 ,i delight in ,clough1 but ,i do not like comparisons of this kind4 ,you strike different chords1 and ,i believe that you have greater possibilities than he4 ,what touches me especially is the high purity of emotion which is yet as human as it is holy4 ,this is rare1 even in great poetry4 ,as ,i read some lines1 it seemed as if my soul were weeping for joy at their beauty4 8,agathon0 ,i wanted to read over again as soon as ,i had finished it4 ,indeed1 ,i shall want to turn to it often1 for a breath of the pure poetic ether4 ,i do not know a greater poem of its kind since 8,comus40 ,page #db1 and from #ei onward1 ,milton might have been proud to write4 ,they appeal to all that nobler part of us that lives beneath the shows of things2 and ,i am glad that so young a poet as you begins his song so nobly4 ,i am proud1 too1 that you are a ,beverly boy1 as ,i am a ,beverly woman4 ,but for that1 ,i might not have ventured to write so freely4 ,i have not room to write all ,i want to say1 but ,i must mention the 8,christ ,scourged10 which seems to me wonderful in its strength of sympathetic expression4 ,it would give me great pleasure to meet you4 ,if you are staying in town1 ,i wish you would call here some evening4 ,truly yours1 ,,lucy ,,larcom4 ,in preparing a new edition of 8,songs of ,three ,centuries10 she included among the additions1 a poem by ,dr4 ,solis-,cohen1 8,i ,know that ,my ,redeemer ,liveth10 and also1 8,the ,crowing of the ,red ,cock10 by ,emma ,lazarus4 ,in the course of the correspondence1 ,dr4 ,solis-,cohen wrote so frankly1 giving his feelings about ,christ from an intelligent ,jewish standpoint1 that she answered in a similar vein1 stating clearly her idea of the relations that should exist between the ,jew and ,christian4 ,dr4 ,solis-,cohen had written3 8,no professed ,christian can exceed many ,jews in love for the pure and lofty character of ,jesus1 and we can readily accept that character1 as a manifestation of ,god in man1 while we decline to accept the superstructure of the ,church40 ,,to ,,dr4 ,,solomon ,,solis-,,cohen4 ,,beverly1 ,,mass41 ,october #ah1 #ahij4 ,,dr4 ,s4 ,,solis-,,cohen3-- ,dear ,sir1--,the proof of your poem is just received1--and ,i have put your corrections away so carefully that ,i cannot at this moment lay my hand upon them2 so ,i will ask you to correct the copy and send it to the printers as soon as convenient4 ,i will tell them to wait for it4 ,the magazine with the poem in it is received--beautiful and graceful ,i find the latter4 ,i wish the additions to the 8,songs0 were not limited--but the publishers do not wish to enlarge the volume too much4 ,we shall have two poems by ,emma ,lazarus2 one of them ,mr4 ,whittier tells me he considers her best--8,the ,crowing of the ,red ,cock40 ,your letter interests me exceedingly4 ,i grew up under the influence of old-fashioned ,puritanism1 and from it drew the idea that ,jew and ,christian were really one1 only they did not understand each other4 ,children do construct their own theology oftener than is thought1 ,i believe4 ,the ,puritan was like the ,hebrew in many ways1 most of all in his firm hold of moral distinctions1 in his belief in the ,one ,god as the ,god of righteousness and truth4 ,certainly no one ever insisted upon obedience to the law more positively than ,christ himself4 ,we ,christians do believe in ,him as the human manifestation of ,god3 that is the one distinctive element of our faith4 ,all sorts of strange doctrines have been built up about this idea4 ,i care for none of them1 but rest upon what is to me a spiritual certainty--8,truly this is the ,son of ,god40 ,i emphasize the 8is0 because to me that visible life was only one phase of ,his eternal presence in and with humanity4 ,to me ,he is 8the living ,lord0--the ,spirit bearing witness to our spirits of their own immortal meaning2 and so 8the ,resurrection and the ,life40 ,but ,his life has no spiritual power over ours1 unless it teaches us divine love--unless we live in that love which ,he came to unveil4 ,christians have miserably failed of this--in their treatment of each other as well as of the ,jews1 but it is because they have not received the spirit of their ,master4 ,i thank you sincerely for writing to me so freely1 and ,i thank you for having written the poem enclosed1 which bears the same message to me as a ,christian1 that it does to you as a ,jew4 ,i should like to know more of ,emma ,lazarus4 ,her early death was a loss to all lovers of true poetry4 ,very truly yours1 ,,lucy ,,larcom4 ,the ecstacy of a sudden realization of religious truth sometimes overcame her in the summer mornings1 and her heart uttered itself fervently in prayer1 as will be seen in the following extracts from her diary4 ,july #e1 #ahij4 ,i awoke with a strange joy as of some new revelation1 that seemed sounding through my soul1 with the words1 8,lift up your heads1 ,o ye gates1 and be ye lift up1 ye everlasting doors1 and the ,king of ,glory shall come in60 ,is it a new entering in of life and love at all the doors of my nature8 doors that ,i have left closed and overgrown1 perhaps8 ,come in1 ,o ,life1 ,o ,truth1 ,o ,love1 by whatever gate thou wilt1--in whatever form thou wilt6 ,only make me ready to receive thee1 and to go with thee through the gates into the freedom of thy universe6 ,august #c4 ,now ,i see life more clearly in all its bearings1 its dangers1 and its hopes1--its earthly and heavenly unity4 ,it is almost like beginning a new childhood in the ,kingdom of ,heaven4 ,all things centre themselves in ,christ1 the living1 spiritual ,christ1 who is the ,life1 the ,reality1 the ,person1 who makes us real to each other through the eternal union with the ,father4 ,nature is alive4 ,nothing is dead that the heart of ,god has touched4 ,and human beings seem so near and dear6 ,i think of those who have gone1 of my sisters ,louisa and ,charlotte1 of my mother1 of all the friends whom ,i see no more1 but who have made part of my true life4 ,they seem more alive than when here2 my communion is with them and with all the living to-day4 ,august #f4 ,this morning1 with the opening of my windows on the white floating clouds of summer1 and the warm hillside1 softened with the mist of coming showers1 a song and a hymn arose in my thoughts3-- ,o ,thou ,eternal ,loveliness1--,i am part of ,thee1 or ,i am not at all6 ,nature is the expression of ,thee1 but yet more is this human life of mine4 ,because ,i am1 and can feel and see this beauty1--feel it as a part of my own life and soul1 ,i know that ,thou art--the ,divine ,one in whom all that is immortal of me is enfolded1 and from whom it is unfolded4 ,how can ,thy being be questioned by one who has had a single glimpse of the beauty of this ,thy world8 ,it is such happiness to feel that ,i am part of it all1 because ,i belong to ,thee6 ,yet ,i should never have known the spirit of it all1 never should have understood the secret1 except through the ,son1 who has brought ,thy children back to their spiritual home in ,thee4 ,in ,him the evil of earth is conquered1 and the good of earth is shown also to be the good of heaven4 ,to be of one spirit with ,him1 the ,perfect ,love and the ,infinite ,loveliness1 is to belong to the ,whole1 and so to ,thee4 ,and so there can be no losing of anything for us eternally4 ,who shall separate us from any true ,love8 ,august #bd4 ,on the summit of ,moosilauke4 ,have been here four or five days1 in cloud and mist and rain4 ,one bright sunset1 two pleasant afternoons1 on the last of which there was the most beautiful phenomenon that we call 8the sun drawing water40 ,i never looked down upon the earth through that many tinted transparency of sun and mist before4 ,it was wide as the whole ,west1 and the tints of green upon the nearer hills were brought out with softest intensity4 ,it was like an open fan of thinnest gossamer1 wavering in all possible hues between us and the landscape4 ,but the sign was true4 ,it has rained steadily for three days and nights4 ,august #bg4 ,monday and ,tuesday there was a fine sunset and sunrise1 and four travelers were up here to enjoy it4 ,but yesterday the mist and cloud rolled up from the valley again1 and in the night a southeast storm set in1 preceded by the same sign in the east that was in the west last ,thursday4 ,it is one of the signs of approaching rain1--the clearness with which the summits and ranges are outlined through the mist4 ,they are most dreamily lovely1 so4 ,i thought yesterday how much the earth and sky were alike1 on these high places4 ,it was hard to tell which was mountain and which was cloud4 ,september #f4 ,a week of great beauty in cloud-scenery1 though with little sunshine4 ,most suggestive phases of cloud and mountain interblending2 ,i have been out in it everywhere ,i could2 twice at sunrise1 when ,i was well rewarded by the glory in the east4 ,the days seem so short6 ,i was foolish to bring books up here1--and yet ,i have found them companionable now and then4 8,god in his ,world0 ,i have re-read--it is a book for the heights4 ,february #d1 #ahia4 ,boston4 ,in my room at the ,hoffman ,house these last two weeks4 ,i could not get settled earlier2 others were occupying it4 ,but ,i love this room1 because ,i have lived so intensely and deeply in it2 because ,i have had revelations in it of ,god and his truth1 of human friendship1 of the inmost meanings of life4 ,the very walls seem alive to me sometimes4 ,every place where we have met ,god1 and come to feel ,him as the reality in all things1 is holy ground4 ,one of the pleasant things of the last month was my visit to ,wheaton ,seminary1 and the meeting with ,mr4 ,brooks there1 and hearing him speak to the girls1 making them more happy1 and helping them much1 as ,i have to-day heard4 ,his presentation of ,christ as the ,way1 the ,truth1 and the ,life1 has led one1 at least1 to a decision for herself1 that ,christ is the ,son of ,god4 ,i like to meet new friends in my old haunts4 ,i have lived through some painful and some delightful experiences at ,norton1 struggling and groping in solitude through formal dogma and doctrine into spiritual truth1 for there was none with me1 and my way of thinking was accounted heresy4 ,but ,i felt beckoned into clearer light than there was around me1 and ,i followed in silence4 ,i first read ,maurice there1 and ,f4 ,w4 ,robertson1 who opened doors for me which have never since been closed4 ,and ,i taught my pupils1 giving them what ,i had received1 truths which ,i felt were unquestionable1 and ,i knew1 while there1 that it was not wholly in vain1 though ,i had access to but a few4 ,now ,i go back1 and ,i find the whole school apparently ready for this clearer spiritual light1 and ,i am glad4 ,we must love places where we have truly lived1--even in heaven we shall remember them4 ,i finished my little book last week1--8,as ,it ,is in ,heaven40 ,i wonder if it was presumptuous in me to write it8 ,but it seemed to grow by itself1 and ,i wanted to give the blossoms and fruit that had shaped themselves in my mind1 to those who might enjoy them1 and perhaps get some refreshment and strength from them4 ,i trust it will be of service to somebody4 ,april #c4 ,lent has passed1 and ,passion ,week1 and ,easter4 ,all these festivals now mean so much to me1 and yet not wholly for themselves1 but because they make the whole year sacred4 ,i have attended all the morning services1 and have found it good to begin the days with that half-hour of prayer and thought1 and communion with others4 ,once ,i should have thought this frequent assembling together day after day1 and week after week1 for religious services1 at least unnecessary4 ,but for the deepening life that has come to me through them ,i can never be sufficiently thankful1 and ,i feel that the ,church holds through them a special power over the spiritual life of the community4 ,for the last weeks of winter and first weeks of spring1 everybody is reminded that this life of ours belongs to us through the life and death of ,christ our ,lord4 ,we are always forgetting that1--always falling back into ourselves and our own petty interests and plans and thoughts of and for ourselves4 ,i cannot see why ,churches of every name should not keep ,lent and ,good ,friday and ,easter1 as they do ,christmas1 and ,i believe they are moving in that direction4 ,i was present at the ,good ,friday evening service at the ,old ,south1 presided over by its pastor1 ,rev4 ,mr4 ,gordon1 where a ,baptist1 a ,unitarian1 a ,congregationalist1 and three ,episcopal clergymen took part4 ,it was most impressive1 and seemed like a promise of the time when all ,christ's people shall be one4 ,the ,good ,friday sermon at ,trinity ,church in the morning was to me a new unfolding of a thought that has always perplexed me1 from the text1 8,the blood of ,christ cleanseth from all sin40 ,i could never make the 8,atonement10 as set forth by the religious teachers of my youth1 a reality to myself2 ,christ ,himself was always real1 as a divine man1 and as a living presence with us still1 but how ,his death was to us more than ,his ,life1 ,i could never see4 ,the grandeur of it all1--the love that inspired the sacrifice1 always moved my being to its depths1 but the prominence given to ,his 8,blood-shedding0 seemed unnatural4 ,it was tragic2 pictorial2 yet somehow outside of me--a scene upon which ,i gazed1 and wondered1 and longed to understand4 ,i cannot recall the words of ,mr4 ,brooks's sermon1 but the feeling and the thought left with me from it was that now ,i could see it all2 and that through that completed sacrifice1 the divine life entered into every human soul that could open to receive it4 ,and it is the very thought of the blood1 which represents1 and is1 the life1 that made it clear4 ,he gives all of himself that ,he has to give1 in first living for us1 and then dying for us4 ,and the giving means our receiving ,his pure life into our stained souls1 so that their defilement is cleansed1 and we live ,his life of love and sacrifice1 instead of our old selfish and sinful one4 ,it is now ,his blood that flows through us1 and inspires us with eternal strength4 ,and this is what it means to be ,his1 and one with ,him2 the character1 the person1 must be renewed1 when filled with his purity1 with his righteousness1 and his consecration4 ,any other view of the atonement than this seems to me still to be something of a fiction4 ,but this view is so inspiring to me1 that the cross has a new meaning1--it is the true and only emblem of ,christ's work to hold up before the world4 ,may #ag4 ,mr4 ,brooks's election as bishop has followed almost as the natural sequence to ,bishop ,paddock's death1 and it has seemed to be demanded quite as much by the community at large as by the church4 ,the feeling has been1 that if there is a place of higher influence for such a man1 he must be put in it4 ,i have not been accustomed to think that there can be any higher place than that of a ,christian minister1 but he will not cease to be this4 ,but for me it is like the closing of a beautiful book of inspiration1 from which ,i have been reading for the past ten years1 almost constantly of late2 and before the bishop's death1 ,i have felt that it was more than any one congregation ought to have to itself1 and ,god will broaden the stream of the water of ,life now into more far-reaching channels4 ,the change has brought great sadness1 but our best is given us to share1 and we shall find joy even in this sacrifice4 ,may #a4 ,at ,beverly1--and tired with my spring languor1 and some inward depression4 ,yesterday ,i talked with ,mr4 ,brooks about the change that is coming1 and though ,i believe it best and needful for him1 still ,i feel in it an unutterable sadness4 ,it is strange that ,i do1 for ,i never expect to see him often1 or to hear him preach except for a few weeks in the winter4 ,but ,i suppose we have all had the satisfaction of knowing that the fountain was flowing and that we might drink if we would4 ,and what have ,i not received at this source8 ,what a different world it is to me1 from what it was ten years ago4 ,how ,i have become strengthened through and through1 to see and know what spiritual life is1 and in my measure to live it1 as ,i believe6 ,soul and eyes and heart and hands and feet have been given to me anew1 through the illumination received4 ,that strange 8light in light0 that seemed to glow around me1 as ,i knelt in reconsecration of myself1 a little more than a year ago1 has not left me1 though it is dimmed by this present regret1 and ,i shall walk on in it through paths yet untried4 ,yesterday ,i sat in the same room and the same chair where1 eight years ago1 ,mr4 ,brooks first suggested that my place might be in the ,episcopal ,church4 ,i had not thought it possible1 and did not see it so then4 ,to be sitting there in his study1 where ,i had not been again since that first talk with him1 as one of his people1 and to hear him speak of the strangeness to him of his own new outlook upon life and work1--of the suddenness with which the change has come to him3 8,first it seemed impossible1 and then it became inevitable10 he said1--brought back that other day and all the time between1 and my own experience in being lifted out of my old associations into the ,church1--for it seems to me that unseen hands at last lifted me into my place4 ,well might he speak of that room as a sacred room1 where so many souls had been strengthened and led on into light4 ,i wish he need not leave his house when he becomes bishop2 it is so truly identified with his life4 ,our place is partly ourself4 ,i am sure he needs a change1 after so many years of incessant service1 doing the work of twenty men1 apparently4 ,he will still have hard work to do1 but it will not be of the same kind4 ,i do believe that the hand of ,god is in his election as bishop4 ,it is not so much the ,episcopal ,church 7much as he loves it1 and believes in it7 that is to be benefited3 the whole church--the whole community--will feel the difference in the freedom and depth of spiritual life that can but radiate from such a man1 wherever he goes4 ,i do want to live at least ten years longer1 to have a part in the good time4 ,mr4 ,whittier writes to me3 8,the very air of ,massachusetts is freer and sweeter1 since his election10 and these are the words of a seer4 ,and still it is a haunting regret that ,i shall no longer hear his words in the old familiar way1 at ,trinity ,church4 ,,to ,,mrs4 ,s4 ,i4 ,,spalding4 ,,beverly1 ,,mass41 ,june #c1 #ahia4 ,,my ,,dear ,,friend1--,i do not think the weather would have kept me here quite1 last week1 but ,i also have had to call myself half-sick4 ,i think it must be the 8grippe0 or the effect of some subtle seizure of that fiend1 for ,i am unaccountably good-for-nothing1 in many ways4 ,i had to lie still all last ,sunday4 ,i must go to ,boston next ,sunday1 for it is the ,communion ,service1 which has become very dear to me1 and more so now4 ,perhaps ,i will try again this week coming to you on ,friday and going to ,amesbury on ,saturday for a call2 thence to ,boston4 ,if you should hear that ,mr4 ,whittier had gone to ,portland 7he is expected there next week7 perhaps you will let me know by ,friday morning4 ,i should prefer coming to see you when ,i could stay over ,sunday4 ,but while ,mr4 ,brooks preaches ,i want to improve every chance of hearing him4 ,i thought he would not be permitted to leave ,trinity ,church--,i believe that he was himself surprised at his own nomination4 ,but he would have fallen in the harness there3 no man could do forever the superhuman work he was doing1 and the collapse might have been sudden4 ,i have seen him within a week or two1 and he looks at the new work with all the enthusiasm of a boy4 ,the change may prolong his strength and usefulness2 for nothing but change of work would be rest to him4 ,the little side of ,episcopacy is making itself manifest1 as it must1 when so great a man is brought into contrast with mere systematizers1 petty planners of the ,kingdom which is infinite1 so infinite that it absorbs them1 as the atmosphere does motes and insects4 ,yours with love1 ,,lucy ,,larcom4 ,september #ac1 #ahia4 ,summit of ,moosilauke4 ,i have been here three weeks yesterday1 with rainy or cloudy weather most of the time1 and a few days of perfect beauty4 ,it has been warm weather1 never cold enough for winter clothing1 but heavy and damp sometimes4 ,in every bright interval ,i have been out1 half a dozen times out in the sunrise alone 7one of the best things up here74 ,the sunrises in which the sun was not visible were loveliest2 when the rays reached across from under a cloud1 and over the lower mists1 to the distant mountains in the south1 penciling them with soft rose and pearl tints4 ,the finest sunrise was when the sunbeams shone down from under a dark purple cloud on a foamy sea of white mist that covered the landscape1 touching its upper surface with the splendor we usually see from below4 ,there was a sunset the night before1 with a similar effect1 just as a storm was rolling away4 ,there has been less variety in the phases of cloud-beauty than usual4 ,yesterday was my best day of all4 ,i walked over to the ,east ,peak1 and looked down into the great ravine1 where the shadow of our mountain was slowly ascending the opposite slopes4 ,the higher peaks behind shone in soft purple through the rosy mist1 and as ,i stopped at a crest half-way to the ,peak1 they grew so beautiful in their loneliness1 uplifted from sombre depths to luminous height1 and brought to my thoughts such heavenly-human associations1 of the great ones known and unknown1 who have glorified my life and uplifted it into spiritual splendor1 that my eyes were again and again filled with warm1 happy tears4 ,god has been very good to me in these latter years1 in bringing me to the mountains and giving me friends4 ,it is the utter loneliness that ,i sometimes have with nature1 up here1 that makes the place so delightful to me4 ,the people are only incidental2 only now and then one who loves the mountains in my way1 or in a better way1 gives them a new attraction4 ,the mountains are more human to me than any other exhibition of inorganic nature2 they are indeed presences4 ,there must be something like them in heaven4 ,i go down to-morrow1 to hotel-life for a week or so1 but the peace and strength of the hills will remain in my heart4 ,beverly1 ,october #ag1 #ahia4 ,these last three weeks1--these last three days1 especially1--have been so full6 ,i have lived more in them1 in the very deepest part of my life1 than in as many years1 often4 ,the consecration of a bishop whose ministry has been more to my spiritual life than that of any other minister2 the joy of knowing him as a friend2 the sorrow of losing him as a minister2 the thankfulness that ,i may be counted in as one of his people still1 to work in his larger field with him2 the certainty that ,god has called him to do more than ever for the coming of ,his ,kingdom3 it is a great flood of regret and triumph that has been flowing through me1 and that fills me still4 ,i am full of tears and song2 ,i never felt life so real and so deep4 ,it is like setting sail on the grandest voyage of hope1 with a chosen spirit of ,god at the helm1 and all of us full of the inspiration of his life and faith4 ,i was glad to sit a little aside at the ,consecration ,service1 and feel more than ,i could see1 though ,i saw all the best of it1--that grand manhood in the midst of white-robed clergy and bishops1 one with it all1 and yet so superior to it all1 the great humble man1 bowed among his brethren1 to receive his new office6 ,and ,i shall never forget my first glimpse of him in his new character1 with the ,communion cup in his hand1 a token of service yet to be rendered2 ,christ's life still to be poured out for his brethren through his own4 ,so may our lives all be enlarged and strengthened with his1 to serve our ,master better1 in a wider and deeper service of humankind6 ,,to ,j4 ,g4 ,,whittier4 ,,beverly1 ,february #bd1 #ahib4 444 ,the thought of a present ,god1 who is a personal ,friend to every ,soul1 has always haunted me1 and of late years has become more real and close4 ,it seems to me that all truth and peace and hope centre there4 ,it gives new meaning to immortality1 and to this life as the beginning of an immortal one4 ,every year it seems a happier thing to be alive1 and to know that ,i cannot die4 ,through thee1 my friend1 ,i have come to see this very slowly4 ,i have always thought of thee as a spiritual teacher4 ,and then of late years to have had in addition the teachings and friendship of ,phillips ,brooks has been a great and true help4 ,i thank ,god that you two men live1 and 8will always live10 as he says to you1 and that ,i have known you both4 ,when he called at ,mrs4 ,spalding's after seeing you1 he told us about the ,ary ,scheffer poem1 and repeated it to us from the words 8,o heart of mine10 through to the end1 as he went away1 standing before the picture1--8,christus ,consolator10 which hangs at her parlor door4444 ,,to ,,the ,,same4 ,,beverly1 ,,mass41 ,july #aj1 #ahib4 ,,my ,,dear ,,friend1--,i heard of you last in ,danvers1 but ,i am not sure whether you are there or not1 though ,i have been trying to get around and see6 ,i have been occupied with various matters which have taken me to ,boston frequently1 and ,i have usually stayed with ,mrs4 ,guild1 ,roxbury4 444 ,i do not find myself so strong as usual this year1 and my plans for work may all fall through4 ,i think ,i never had so much that ,i wanted to do1 before4 ,my last two little books have been so widely and warmly welcomed1 that it seems to me as if ,i had only just learned what ,i can do4 ,if ,i had begun to write from what ,i feel most deeply twenty years ago1 ,i might have been of some real help to the world4 ,but then ,i had not had the experience1 and perhaps could not4 ,it makes me very thankful to know that you approve my work4 ,we have so often talked over these matters together4 ,i think the inspiration must be partly1 at least1 from you4 ,i know that my one desire is for reality in the spiritual life1 for self and for others4444 ,beverly1 ,october #af1 #ahib4 ,this summer has brought me little time for writing1 but much for suffering and thinking4 ,three months ago to-day my dear sister ,emeline left this world2 suddenly1--quietly1--just 8slipped away10 her daughter ,lucy says4 ,she made herself ready for church1 and sat waiting1--but it was heaven for her1 instead4 ,her going makes more difference to me than the departure of any one else could2 for she has been part of my life ever since ,i was born4 ,she did more to shape my mind--my soul--than any one else did4 ,and yet ,i differed from her in my way of thinking1 upon many things2 the deep agreement was underneath1 at the spiritual foundations4 ,i think her great power over me was in her great capacity for love4 ,her great heart1 while it was faithful to home ties1 failed of love to none of ,god's children2 and to me she was even more mother than sister4 ,her going makes it an easier thing for me to go1 when the time comes4 ,then1 while on ,moosilauke summit1 the news of ,mr4 ,whittier's death came to me--more translation than death4 ,i seemed to see him pass on by me1 up the heights1 and seemed to hear him say1 as he passed1 8,so easy a thing it is to die6 ,like the mountain blending with the clouds1 like the melting of earth into sky1 is the transition from life into loftier life40 ,he too passed away in peace2 the lovelier to think of1 because he had always dreaded the hour of death4 ,he1 too1 was my noble and tried friend2 in my life for more than fifty years4 ,he is associated in my life with the beauty of the hills and the sea that we have enjoyed together1 with the deep things of poetry and religion1 which were indeed one reality to him4 ,the memory of fireside talks in his own home1 with his sister1 so dear to us both2 the readings of 8,in ,memoriam0 with him after she was gone1--are most blessedly vivid to me4 ,and ,tennyson has died1 within a week6 ,one could know him only through his poetry1 but what a halo that has hung over our mortal life in all its phases6 ,to know the man and the poet1 as ,i knew ,whittier1 and to be able to feel the greatness of both1 is an immortal possession4 ,emerson1 ,browning1 ,bryant1 ,whittier1 ,tennyson1--and where are the singers who take us into the heart of things as they did8 ,there is a delicate murmur of trained voices making music in this modern air1 but it does not arrest us and hold us1 as the voices of the now silent masters did4 ,it is hardly an age of song4 ,,to ,,mrs4 ,s4 ,t4 ,,pickard4 ,,beverly1 ,october #af1 #ahib4 444 ,i have dreamed of him ,mr4 ,whittier lately1 sitting by the fireside chatting in the old way1 as when ,i used to visit him and ,aunt ,lizzie4 ,she was more to me than almost any friend1 more even than he4 ,i always thought of them as one2 and now they are together again4 ,they cannot be far away4 ,i want to keep near them in spirit1 so as to find them at once1 by and by4 ,i am glad ,i did not ever know that he was rich4 ,he used to want to pay my bills when we were at ,west ,ossipee1 etc41 but ,i declined1 for ,i supposed he was almost as poor as myself1 though ,i know of late years his books have paid well4 ,i am very glad he left me the copyright of the books ,i compiled with him2 and indeed it was only right1 as ,i worked so hard on them4 ,the 8,songs of ,three ,centuries0 nearly cost me my health2 the publishers 8rushed0 it so4 ,i was good for nothing for three or four years after1 as far as writing went4 ,but he never knew4 ,,to ,s4 ,t4 ,,pickard4 ,,beverly1 ,,mass41 ,november #aa1 #ahib4 ,,dear ,,mr4 ,,pickard1--,the trouble with me now is that ,i am on the invalid list1 and am warned not to promise or undertake any new work at present1 nor to work continuously in the future1 as ,i have done4 ,the heart seems to be the weak member1 and really stops me1 even upon slight exertion4 ,i have meant to look over my letters from our friend1 and see if there was anything you could use2 but they are packed away with others in a cold room1 where ,i do not venture to go4 ,i have not left the house for nearly four weeks1 now1 and ,i see that some revolution in my way of living must be made4 ,but ,i hope to be stronger some time than ,i am now1--at least to the extent of getting out into the air4 ,i am sorry not to be able to say that ,i can be depended upon1 though ,i will gladly do what ,i can to help you4 ,it is unfortunate for me to be hindered by the state of my health1 as ,i had plans ,i wanted to set about at once1 of my own4 ,it is imperative for me to be earning money regularly1 for an income1 as ,i have never quite accumulated it into the thousands4 ,my recent little books1 for the past four years1 have been more profitable than before1 and ,i can see one or two more as possibilities1 if ,i could put myself down to the work4 ,i mention all this to show you how ,i am situated1 as to doing what you suggest4 ,then there is one other thing1--,mr4 ,whittier many times said to me1 apparently in earnest and jest1 both1--8,don't thee ever go writing about me60 ,it used to hurt me a little1 as if ,i would parade his friendship for me in any way6 ,i could not do1 after he died1 what ,i would not when he was alive1--unless ,i knew he was willing1--and he never hinted any wish of the kind1 certainly4 ,i have already been asked to furnish 8,recollections0 for two periodicals1 and have declined4 ,i may be over-particular in this matter1 but ,i do feel a delicacy about it1--almost as if ,i had not the right4 ,i write just as the matter looks to me now1 and with the sincerest wish to honor our dear friend's memory4 ,tell me your view of it6 ,yours sincerely1 ,,lucy ,,larcom4 ,,to ,,franklin ,,carter4 #bad ,,columbus ,,avenue1 ,,boston1 ,january #aj1 #ahic4 ,,dear ,,frank1--,i have just finished reading the life of ,dr4 ,mark ,hopkins1 and think it a most interesting record of a grand life4 ,i thank you for sending it to me4 ,i could not help thinking1 as ,i read1 how full our country is of noble men of whom we know nothing1 or very little4 ,i knew ,dr4 ,hopkins was an able man1 but he was only a name to me until ,i read your book4 ,but of course he was a very unusual man4 ,how grateful and glad you must be that he was your teacher1 and that you could tell his story so well6 ,i have known little of you1 and you of me1 for several years4 ,i have felt that the years of work could not be many for me1 and so ,i have been hard at work writing1 that ,i might give something to those who could receive from me1 before ,i died4 ,i do not know whether you have seen my little books or not4 ,i have published three in the last two years4 ,the two prose books ,i thought ,i had a call to write1 and the response they have received has shown that ,i was not wholly wrong4 ,perhaps ,i have given myself too closely to writing1 for ,i am far from well4 ,careful medical examination shows that ,i have organic heart-disease1 which will need to be watched carefully in the future2 ,i shall have to go slowly hereafter4 ,yet ,i have many plans that ,i want to carry out2 and it is as necessary now as ever for me to earn my daily bread4 ,but ,i am not in the least bit anxious4 ,the kind of writing ,i do1 does not bring much money1 and ,i am not desirous of writing the kind that does4 ,these later years have been happy ones to me1 because ,i have been doing things ,i like to do1 and have had noble and sympathetic friends4 ,one of my best friends--,whittier--is out of sight now1 but ,i do not feel that he is far away4 ,life is one1 in all the worlds1 and it is life in ,god that unites us all4 ,god in ,christ is the great uniting reality to me4 ,and yet ,i live so far from my ideal of what it is6 ,how much more we should all be to each other1 if we believed it1 through and through6-- ,i cannot write1 or do anything continuously1 without pain in my chest1 so ,i desist1 with love to you and yours4 ,faithfully ever1 ,,lucy ,,larcom4 ,,to ,,miss ,,fobes4 ,,roxbury1 ,,mass41 ,march #ad1 #ahic4 ,,my ,,dear ,,miss ,,fobes1--,i did not think it would be so long before your kind letters would be acknowledged1 but the truth is that even a little book1 if one's heart is in the writing of it1 is very absorbing1--and mine has taken all my time4 ,i am reading the proof sheets of it now1 and it will be out early in ,april4 7,i am visiting a friend here1 for a week1 trying to rest a rather tired head47 ,these little books ,i have somehow been impelled to write1 from the feeling that others might be helped1 by seeing the way ,i had been led1 and the point at which ,i had arrived4 ,for ,i can but think of these later years as having been most plainly to myself under spiritual guidance4 ,i prayed for it always4 ,i remember walking alone in the woods behind ,monticello ,seminary1 my heart asking with tears that ,i might suffer much1 if so ,i could find the true secret of life4 ,i have not suffered as many have1--,i have only had ordinary trials and losses and matter-of-fact struggles with circumstances1 but ,i have often been in danger of succumbing to lower standards than ,i believed in4 ,but it has been the one effort of my life to keep in sight the highest and best1 and to be satisfied with nothing less4 ,now the best seems to me the simplest3--to receive1 and to give by living it1 the life of ,christ4 ,that is the thought ,i have kept before me in my little book1 which ,i call 8,the ,unseen ,friend40 ,i shall send you a copy1 as soon as possible4 ,i am much interested in what you write of the word 8eternal40 ,it was on the meaning of that word that my first divergence from the ,calvinistic theories occurred1 many years ago4 ,i read ,f4 ,d4 ,maurice much1 and still do so4 ,his rendering of the word 8eternal0 was1 you know1 considered heresy in his own church4 ,now1 the exception is1 in this region1 to hear it preached in any other sense4 ,i think it first implies the character of the life1 but also its duration4 ,it is only the real that can last1 and grow better and better forever1 as being a progress into the infinite life of ,god4 ,it is death to refuse to receive this life2 ,i cannot think that any soul will forever refuse1 though the freedom of the human will makes it a possibility4 ,i look upon this life on earth as but a beginning1 rather an education than a probation--and yet that also1 as every hour of our life is a trial of our fitness for the next hour4 ,one thing ,i have liked in the ,episcopal ,church since ,i knew it and have been in it1 is that they preach this practical1 spiritual life so much more than systems and doctrines4 ,the ,christian year is a repeated following of the story and the spirit of ,christ's life1 and everybody can understand it4 ,nobody can hold the ,apostles ,creed1 and not believe in the oneness of the ,son and ,father1 and that is the pivotal truth of ,christianity4 ,more and more ,i see the failures in my past life1 through not entering into this central truth in a more living way4 ,i thank you for the kind things you say of my poems and books4 ,there is no one whose approval ,i value more deeply4 ,sometimes ,i wish ,i had more years before me1 for ,i feel as if ,i were just beginning to see clearly1 and ,i am more and more interested in this human life of ours4 ,yet how little any of us can do to relieve its burdens4 ,how hopeless its evils and sins sometime look6 ,i have just read 8,david ,grieve40 ,it is far from being a cheerful book1 though powerfully written4 ,it is1 however1 an improvement upon 8,robert ,elsmere10 which seemed to me wordily weak4 ,i have seen ,emily ,dickinson's poems1 and enjoy their queer gleaming and shadowy incoherences4 ,it does not seem as if her mind could have been fairly balanced4 ,but her love of nature redeems many faults4 ,that poem in the 8,christian ,union10 8,the ,immortal ,now10 must have been printed early in the year #ahij1 ,i think4 ,possibly in #ahhi1 but ,i believe ,i wrote it in the winter of #ahhi-ij4 ,if ,i can find a duplicate1 ,i will send it to you4 ,i have a half-project of collecting my religious poems by themselves1 for next ,christmas4 ,what would you think of it8 ,always affectionately yours1 ,,lucy ,,larcom4 ,the following letter was written to ,bishop ,brooks a few days before his death1 and was found on his desk1 while his body still lay in his home1 the soul having gone to be 8near the ,master and ,friend40 ,,to ,,phillips ,,brooks4 #bad ,,columbus ,,avenue1 ,january #ag1 #ahic4 ,it is a real trial to me1 my dear friend1 that ,i am unable to hear you to-night1 when you are probably speaking so near me2 and yet a greater to think that ,i may be denied it all winter4 ,for ,i find myself more ill than ,i supposed ,i was1 and am not at present permitted to go out at all4 ,it is a heart derangement1 which has shown some dangerous symptoms4 ,i have been to ,trinity ,church1 but am told that ,i must not attempt walking there again4 ,it seems childish to tell you about it1 but you know you are my rector still1--and ,i had been looking forward to seeing and hearing you occasionally4 ,sometimes it seems to me that ,god's way of dealing with me is not to let me see much of my friends1 those who are most to me in the spiritual life1 lest ,i should forget that the invisible bond is the only reality4 ,that is the only way ,i can reconcile myself to the inevitable separations of life and death4 ,i know that ,i feel more completely in sympathy with those who went away from me into heaven long ago than ,i did when they were here4 ,still ,i love and long for my friends1 and would gladly see them while they are here1 in the dear familiar way4 ,i have accustomed myself to the thought that my call hence may come suddenly1 and if ,i should not meet you again here1 you will know that in any world ,i shall look for you near the ,master and ,friend in whose presence you live here1 and whose love you have helped me to see as the one thing worth living for anywhere4 ,i can truly say that the last ten years of my life have been better and happier than all that went before4 ,faithfully yours1 ,l4 ,l4 ,february #bj1 #ahic4 ,a strange mingled experience the last three or four months4 ,weeks of illness in the late autumn in ,beverly1 when ,i suddenly was brought to the knowledge that ,i have an incurable disease of the heart1 which had been aggravated by overwork and neglect4 ,in the enforced quiet1 ,i could only think1 and that was not permitted about disturbing things4 ,then1 a little recovered1 ,i came to ,boston just before ,christmas1 and used my strength too rapidly1 so that now ,i have been in my room under the doctor's care1 for over a month4 ,and since ,i have lain here1 a great calamity has befallen4 ,the noblest of men and friends has left the world1--,phillips ,brooks4 ,one month ago this morning he breathed his last4 ,he1 with whom it was impossible to associate the idea of death2--was8--is so1 still6--the most living man ,i ever knew--physically1 mentally1 spiritually4 ,it is almost like taking the sun out of the sky4 ,he was such an illumination1 such a warmth1 such an inspiration6 ,and he let us all come so near him1--just as ,christ does6 ,i felt that ,i knew ,christ personally through him4 ,he always spoke of ,him as his dearest friend1 and he always lived in perfect1 loving allegiance to ,god in ,him4 ,now ,i know him as ,i know ,christ1--as a spirit only1 and his sudden withdrawal is only an ascension to ,him1 in the immortal life4 ,shut into my sick-room1 ,i have seen none of the gloom of the burial2 ,i know him alive1 with ,christ1 from the dead1 forevermore4 ,where he is1 life must be4 ,he lived only in realities here1 and he is entering into the heart of them now4 8,what a new splendor in heaven60 was my first thought of him1 after one natural burst of sorrow4 ,what great services he has found6 ,how gloriously life1 with its immortal opportunities1 must be opening to him6 ,he1--one week here1--the next there1--and seen no more here again4 ,the very suddenness of his going makes the other life seem the real one1 rather than this4 ,and a man like this is the best proof ,god ever gives human beings of their own immortality4 ,i treasure my last memories of him1 the last sermon ,i heard him preach at ,trinity1 at the ,october ,communion2 the last time ,i saw him there1 just before ,christmas1 and the last warm pressure of his hand1 and the sunlike smile as he spoke to me at the church door2 the last note he wrote me when he spoke of ,mr4 ,whittier in the other life1 with such reverent love3 8,think what--where--he is now60--even as we are thinking of him4 ,it seems as if ,god gave me these last three years of intimate friendship with him1 in connection with the ,church1 as the crowning spiritual blessing of my life4 ,the rest of it must be consecrated to the noblest ends1 like his4 ,in ,march and early ,april1 #ahic1 ,miss ,larcom's heart-trouble was rapidly developing into an alarming condition1 and she realized that the end must soon come4 ,her life had reached its climax in the little book1 8,the ,unseen ,friend10 in which she had written her last and greatest religious message to the world4 ,more of her friends were on the 8other side0 than here1 and her eyes eagerly sought the visions beyond4 ,her old pupils and friends remembered her during those weary days of suffering in the ,hoffman ,house1 ,boston4 ,her beloved niece1 ,miss ,lucy ,larcom ,spaulding 7now ,mrs4 ,clark7 was with her constantly1 ministering to her needs4 ,some sent her flowers1 which she loved so dearly2 others1 fruit2 one desired to send from the ,west a luxurious bed2 and one sent a reclining-chair4 ,the old cook1 ,norah1 at ,norton1 asked the privilege of making graham bread for her4 ,her old scholars remembered her more substantially1 by a loving gift1 in those days when her pen was forced into idleness4 ,she painfully felt the restraints of her illness4 ,her nights were full of distress4 ,in a half-amused way1 she said1 8,i never knew what it was to be really sick4 ,i knew people had to stay in bed1 and have the doctor1 but ,i thought they slept at night40 ,the end drew near4 ,on ,saturday evening1 ,april the fifteenth1 she said it would be a great joy to exchange the physical for the spiritual body2 and she was comforted by reading ,bishop ,brooks's addresses1 8,perfect ,freedom40 ,on ,monday1 ,april the seventeenth1 she grew rapidly worse2 and in her unconsciousness1 she frequently murmured in prayer1 the word 8,freedom40 ,on this day her soul was released1 and she entered into the fullness of the ,glory of ,god4 ,on a little slip of paper she had written these last words3-- 8,o ,mariner-soul1 ,thy quest is but begun1 ,there are new worlds ,forever to be won40 ,she was borne lovingly to ,trinity ,church1 where she had worshiped2 and there1 in the presence of her sorrowing friends1 the service was held4 ,there was also a service in ,st4 ,peter's ,church1 ,beverly1 where her fellow-townsmen gathered to do her this last honor4 ,she was laid to rest in the soil of her native town1 within sight and sound of the sea4 ,,index4 ,abraham1 ,mount1 #gb4 ,adirondacks1 #bcg4 ,advertiser1 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