,,transcriber',s ,,note ,italic text is denoted by underscores4 ,bold text is denoted by equal signs4 ,some minor changes are noted at the end of the book4 ,,how ,,to ,,teach ,,manners ,,in ,,the ,,school-,,room4 ,,by ,,mrs4 ,,julia ,m4 ,,dewey1 ,,method ,,and ,,critic ,,teacher ,,in ,,the ,,public ,,schools ,,of ,,rutland1 ,,vt42 ,,formerly ,,supt4 ,,of ,,schools1 ,,hoosic ,,falls1 ,n4 ,y4 8,who misses or who wins the prize8 ,go1 lose or conquer1 as you can2 ,but if you fail1 or if you rise1 ,be each1 pray ,god1 a gentleman40 --,epilogue to ,dr4 ,birch and his ,pupils4 ,illustration3 7,publisher's colophon7 ,,the ,a4 ,s4 ,,barnes ,,company ,,new ,,york ,,and ,,chicago ,,copyright1 #ahhh ,e4 ,l4 ,,kellogg ,,co4 ,,new ,,york ,,introduction4 ,importance of the definite teaching of manners4 ,children are close imitators2 they will learn some kind of manners1 and one who teaches positively or emphatically 7or contrariwise7 may often see a miniature of himself in his young pupil4 ,with this truth in mind one can hardly attach too much importance to punctilious politeness on the teacher's part in his intercourse with pupils4 ,but however polite a teacher may be1 the informal or unconscious teaching of manners is not enough4 ,the school-room does not afford opportunity to exemplify all the necessary practices in good manners1 and there is no other way but to teach the various requirements of an accepted code with reference to actual examples that may present themselves at any time in life4 ,it is to be remembered that many children have no opportunity of obtaining a knowledge of good manners1 either by practice or precept1 except as it is afforded by the schools4 ,and as habits formed in childhood are the most enduring1 a lack of early training in good manners will show itself as long as life lasts4 ,many other reasons weigh in favor of the definite teaching of manners1 one of which is1 if courtesy is demanded of pupils4 ,the underlying principles of courtesy should be inculcated1 that children may know it is more than an empty show4 ,children need to learn the definite language courtesy employs4 ,this to many children is a new language1 and can only be accomplished by definite teaching4 ,beside1 if manners are considered of sufficient importance to be counted a regular part of the school1 they will attract much more importance4 ,accompanying this by observance on the part of teacher1 the pupil acquires a valuable knowledge4 ,good manners ever prove an invaluable aid in doing away with many of the unpleasantnesses of school-life4 ,courtesy of manner under all circumstances means great self-control1 and a lack of self-control in teacher or pupil is the origin of most misdemeanors in school4 ,aside from the benefits to be derived in the school-room1 gentle manners help one on in the world wonderfully4 ,they are more powerful in many cases than their other knowledge4 8,all doors fly open to the one who possesses them40 8,manners are the shadows of great virtues40--,whately4 8,high thoughts seated in a heart of courtesy40--,sir ,philip ,sidney4 ,mr4 ,calvert says3 8,a gentleman is never unduly familiar2 takes no liberties2 is chary of questions2 is neither artificial nor affected2 is as little obtrusive upon the mind or feelings of others as on their persons2 bears himself tenderly toward the weak and unprotected2 is not arrogant2 cannot be supercilious2 can be self-denying without struggle2 is not vain of his advantages2 habitually subordinates his lower to his higher self2 is1 in his best condition1 electric with truth1 buoyant with veracity40 ,in a right conception of good breeding the moral element predominates4 ,with this idea in view1 no one should attempt to instruct in good manners who has not the ability to instil into the minds of children its fundamental principles4 ,true courtesy implies strict honor1 self-possession1 forbearance1 generous and refined feeling1 all culminating in a polished deportment4 ,when teachers consider manners in this high sense1 and teach them accordingly1 they give their pupils that which will bring them much more happiness in life than any amount of knowledge teaching without it4 ,,aim ,,of ,,this ,,work4 #a4 ,to furnish material for lessons in manners suitable to be taught in the schools1 and adapted to different grades of pupils4 #b4 ,to furnish illustrative lessons showing the main lines of thought to be pursued1 the length of the lesson1 and the simplicity of method to be employed4 #c4 ,to impress both teachers and pupils with a need of the knowledge of good manners4 8,a gentleman can have no better watchword than that sung at ,bethlehem3 #8,peace on earth1 good will to men4' 8,come wealth or want1 come good or ill4 ,let old and young accept their part1 ,and bow before the awful will1 ,and bear it with an honest heart4 8,who misses or who wins the prize1 ,go1 lose or conquer as you can2 ,but if you fall1 or if you rise1 ,be each1 pray ,god1 a gentleman4 8,a gentleman1 or old or young6 7,bear kindly with my humble lay47 ,the sacred chorus first was sung ,upon the first of ,christmas days4 8,the shepherds heard it overhead2 ,the ,joyful angels raised it then3 ,glory to ,god on high1 it said1 ,and peace on earth to gentle--men40 --,epilogue to ,dr4 ,birch and his ,young ,friends4 ,t4 ,t4 ,,munger in 8,on the ,threshold40 ,,contents4 ,,page ,,introduction1 #c ,importance of the definite teaching of manners1 #c ,the underlying principles of good manners1 #c ,aim of the work1 #e ,,chapter ,i4 ,general directions for teaching manners1 #ac ,special directions to teachers1 #ae ,practical training in manners #ah ,,chapter ,,ii4 ,,lessons ,,on ,,manners4 ,,for ,,the ,,youngest ,,pupils4 ,lesson #a4 ,awakening an interest in manners in general1 #ba #b4 ,kindness an element of politeness1 #bb #c4 ,seeking the happiness of others an element of good manners1 #bc ,,chapter ,,iii4 ,,lessons ,,on ,,manners4 ,,second ,,two ,,years4 ,lesson #d4 ,kindness and unselfishness two underlying principles of good manners1 #be #e4 ,to follow the example of the best people a reason for cultivating good manners1 #bf #f4 ,gaining the esteem of others a reason for cultivating good manners1 #bh ,,chapter ,,iv4 ,,manners ,,in ,,school4 ,,first ,,two ,,years4 ,illustrative ,lessons4 ,lesson #g4 ,the necessity of good manners in school1 #bi #h4 ,regularity of attendance at school is a mark of good manners1 #cj #i4 ,punctuality of attendance at school is a sign of good manners1 #ca #aj4 ,cleanliness is one sign of good manners in school1 #cc #aa4 ,care in keeping the school-room clean is a sign of good manners1 #cd ,subjects for ,additional ,lessons4 #a4 ,care of school-furniture1 #ce #b4 ,care of halls1 piazzas1 walls1 #ce #c4 ,care of school-grounds1 #ce #d4 ,care of books1 #ce #e4 ,economy in using what is furnished by the school1 #ce #f4 ,care in using and returning borrowed articles1 #ce #g4 ,quiet conduct in the school-room at all times1 #ce ,lesson #ab4 ,how pupils should conduct themselves toward their teachers1 #ce ,subjects for ,additional ,lessons4 #a4 ,rendering assistance to teachers1 #cf #b4 ,care in not interrupting a teacher1 #cf #c4 ,kind treatment of school-mates1 #cf #d4 ,respectful treatment of the janitor1 #cf #e4 ,respectful treatment of visitors1 #cf #f4 ,respectful treatment of those who address the school1 #cf ,,chapter ,v4 ,,manners ,,in ,,school4 ,,second ,,two ,,years4 ,illustrative ,lessons4 ,lesson #ac4 ,the necessity of good manners in school1 #cg #ad4 ,regularity of attendance at school is a sign of good manners1 #ch #ae4 ,punctuality of attendance at school is the sign of good manners1 #dj #af4 ,cleanliness is one sign of good manners1 #da #ag4 ,care for school-belongings is a sign of good manners1 #db ,subjects for ,additional ,lessons4 #a4 ,care of books1 #dc #b4 ,economy in using what is furnished by the school1 #dc #c4 ,care in using and returning borrowed articles1 #dc #d4 ,quiet conduct in the school-room at all times1 #dc ,lesson #ah4 ,how pupils should conduct themselves toward their teacher1 #dc ,,chapter ,,vi4 ,,manners ,,at ,,home4 ,,first ,,two ,,years4 ,illustrative ,lessons4 ,lesson #ai4 ,awakening an interest in home manners1 #de #bj4 ,the attention due to home friends1 #df 8,keys0 suggested for additional lessons1 #dg ,,chapter ,,vii4 ,,manners ,,at ,,home4 ,,second ,,two ,,years4 ,illustrative ,lessons4 ,lesson #ba4 ,the polite attentions due to home friends1 #dh ,subjects for additional lessons4 #a4 ,special politeness to very old people in the family1 #di #b4 ,polite treatment of visitors1 #di #c4 ,polite treatment of servants1 #di ,reminders1 #di ,,chapter ,,viii4 ,,manners ,,in ,,public4 ,,first ,,two ,,years4 ,illustrative ,lessons4 ,lesson #bb4 ,the necessity of good manners in the street1 #ea #bc4 ,undue curiosity shown in the street is impolite1 #eb ,,chapter ,,ix4 ,,manners ,,in ,,public4 ,,second ,,two ,,years4 ,illustrative ,lesson4 ,lesson #bd4 ,the necessity of good manners in the street1 #ed ,subjects for ,additional ,lessons for ,both ,grades4 #a4 ,polite attention toward elderly people on the street1 #ee #b4 ,polite attention towards strangers who make inquiries1 #ee #c4 ,church manners1 #ee #d4 ,manners at places of entertainment1 #ee ,,chapter ,x4 ,,table ,,manners4 ,,first ,,two ,,years4 ,illustrative ,lessons4 ,lesson #be4 ,the necessity of good table manners1 #ef #bf4 ,punctuality at the table is desirable1 #eg #bg4 ,polite attention is specially due the lady of the house1 #eh #bh4 ,selfishness at the table is a sign of bad manners1 #ei #bi4 ,some forms of polite expressions used at table1 #fj ,,chapter ,,xi4 ,,table ,,manners4 ,,second ,,two ,,years4 ,illustrative ,lessons4 ,lesson #cj4 ,the necessity of good table manners1 #fa #ca4 ,the deference due the lady of the house at table1 #fb #cb4 ,some polite usages at table1 #fc ,subjects for ,additional ,lessons for ,both ,grades4 #a4 ,use of fork and spoon1 with practical illustrations1 #fc #b4 ,impoliteness of rapid eating1 #fc ,,chapter ,,xii4 ,,lesson ,,on ,,manners4 ,,for ,,advanced ,,pupils4 ,lesson #a4 ,to suggest the underlying principles of good manners1 #fd ,,chapter ,,xiii4 ,,manners ,,in ,,school4 ,lesson #b4 ,the necessity of good manners in school1 #ff #c4 ,regularity and punctuality of attendance are signs of good manners1 #fg #d4 ,cleanliness is one sign of good manners in school1 #fg #e4 ,care for school-belongings is a sign of good manners1 #fh #f4 ,how pupils should conduct themselves toward their teacher1 #fi ,subjects for additional lessons1 #ga ,reminders1 #ga ,,chapter ,,xiv4 ,,personal ,,habits4 ,lesson #g4 ,the necessity of attention to personal habits1 #gc ,suggestions for instruction relating to personal habits1 #gd ,,chapter ,,xv4 ,,manners ,,in ,,public4 ,lesson #h4 ,some particulars of street manners1 #gf ,suggestions for further instructions1 #gg ,reminders1 #gh ,,chapter ,,xvi4 ,,table ,,manners4 ,lesson #i4 ,the importance of good table manners1 #ha ,subjects for additional lessons1 #hb ,reminders1 #hb ,,chapter ,,xvii4 ,,manners ,,in ,,society4 ,suggestions for lessons1 #he ,reminders1 #hg ,,chapter ,,xviii4 ,,miscellaneous ,,items4 ,miscellaneous items1 #ij ,suggestive stories1 fables1 anecdotes1 and poems1 #ia #a4 ,little ,jack4 #b4 ,the ,boy and the ,sparrows4 #c4 ,the ,unhappy ,boy4 #d4 ,which was the ,gentleman8 #e4 ,the ,elder ,brother4 #f4 ,the ,gnat and the ,bull4 #g4 ,a ,real ,lady4 #h4 ,cautions4 #i4 ,letter of ,recommendation4 #aj4 ,a ,gentlemanly ,lad4 #aa4 ,a ,series of ,don'ts4 #ab4 ,family ,intercourse4 #ac4 ,the ,drum and the ,vase of ,sweet ,herbs4 #ad4 ,love4 #ae4 ,treatment of the ,aged4 #af4 ,civility to ,strangers4 #ag4 ,a ,good rule4 #ah4 ,character4 #ai4 ,honor4 #bj4 ,consideration for ,others4 #ba4 ,truthfulness4 #bb4 ,delicacy4 ,,memory ,,gems1 #ajb ,,how ,,to ,,teach ,,manners ,,in ,,the ,,school-,,room4 ,chapter ,i4 ,,general ,,directions ,,for ,,teaching ,,manners4 #a4 ,in teaching manners to young children there is no better example to be followed than that of a careful mother1 who takes advantage of incidents of every-day life to impress a truth upon the mind of her child4 ,by such means the ideal standard is kept in close relation to the child's conduct until it is taken up and assimilated into his nature4 ,for this reason it is better to begin the definite teaching of manners with reference to the school1 and as far as possible to allow actual occurrences to suggest or illustrate the point to be considered4 ,the lesson that will fit the needs of the occasion is the most effective4 ,just here it may be remarked that1 within bounds1 a teacher is justified in taking advantage of these opportunities1 even if it somewhat disturbs the formality of a rigid programme of school-work4 #b4 ,the mother's method may be followed still farther in making the definite lesson as informal as possible4 ,questions should be asked to awaken thought1 and the lesson should partake more of the nature of a familiar conversation than of a school exercise4 ,pupils should be allowed to tell what they know on certain points1 and new truths should be 8developed0 as in other subjects4 #c4 ,the instruction to older pupils may be given in a similar manner1 but less simply2 or the item may be read with or without comment4 ,this lesson serves to instruct those ignorant of prevailing forms1 and to keep the matter before the minds of others who are better informed4 ,when pupils are old enough1 if not provided with a text-book on manners1 it is well for them to make a note of the directions given4 #d4 ,the time given to this subject must be regulated by the other work in the school4 ,a few minutes daily will amount to a great deal in the course of years4 #e4 ,a plan that has been successfully pursued is to allow ten minutes for the opening exercises of school1 and to make a brief lesson in manners a part of these exercises4 ,it is not the aim of the author that the illustrative lessons shall be arbitrarily followed4 ,that would be to aim at an impossibility4 ,if success is expected1 it is even more necessary in this branch than in others that the work be stamped with the individuality of the teacher4 ,there must also be a certain compass of expression and force and earnestness of manner in giving these lessons which cannot be imparted to the printed page4 #f4 ,brevity is essential1 as the effect sought would be lost if the lesson became tiresome4 ,moreover1 it is not intended to add to the already overburdened curriculum of most schools4 ,teachers should exercise care in selecting items adapted to the age and capacity of their pupils4 ,it is needless to add that as far as there is opportunity teachers should see that precept and practice go hand-in-hand4 ,,special ,,directions ,,to ,,teachers4 #a4 ,the manners of pupils are usually similar to those of the teacher4 ,it is therefore of the utmost importance that he should himself exemplify true courtesy1 because he will be imitated4 ,his whole bearing and manner in the presence of pupils should be above criticism4 ,if not conversant with the details of a code of manners1 it is obligatory upon him to become so1 and to conform his manners to it4 #b4 ,a high and loud tone of voice should not have place in a school-room4 ,there is perhaps no more unrefining influence unconsciously exerted by a teacher than that of a loud voice4 ,emerson says1 8,loudness is rude1 quietness always genteel10 and in nothing is the truth more apparent than in the voice4 ,as children are close imitators1 if teachers speak in a loud and dictatorial manner1 so will their pupils4 ,a teacher's voice should be as melodious as nature permits1 and its effect should be heightened by all the modulations and intonations used in polite conversation4 ,suitable language voiced in this manner not only has a most refining influence on the character and manners of pupils1 but is often the only instrumentality needed in the formal 8government0 of the school4 #c4 ,a teacher should assume no attitude in a school-room which is not proper for the pupils4 ,here again the natural propensity of children to imitate should be remembered4 ,teachers have been known to censure children for carelessness in posture when they themselves were guilty of the same4 ,there is no instruction of this kind so impressive as that of example1 and if teachers wish their pupils to be patterns of propriety in attitude1 motions1 actions1 they themselves must furnish the model4 #d4 ,teachers should not be careless in personal habits4 ,besides formal instruction relative to habits of cleanliness and tidiness1 the teacher should show the importance of these habits by strict adherence to them4 ,teachers should dress neatly and in good taste4 ,this does not necessarily involve expense4 ,there should be no gaudiness of dress1 but due attention should be paid to harmony of color and suitableness of fabric1 and garments should be made in prevailing styles4 ,attention to these details will help to refine the tastes of pupils4 #e4 ,teachers should watch their tones and words with great care4 ,it is not enough that expressions should be grammatical1 but they should be devoid of anything inelegant4 ,all proprieties of speech should be observed1 even 7or especially7 with the youngest children4 ,severe expressions1 arising from lack of self-control on the part of the teacher1 are productive of demoralization in the school1 and have a most unrefining effect on the pupils4 ,let teachers observe the direction which they give to their pupils1-- 8,guard well while you are young ,ear and eye and tongue1--0 and it will be much more effectual than the memorizing of the couplet4 ,a polite request is at any time more refining and effective than a stern command4 ,instead of saying 8,do this0 or 8,do that10 if teachers make a practice of asking 8,will you kindly do this80 or 8,please do that10 they will find their wishes more cheerfully complied with1 and less selfishness displayed in the requests made by pupils4 #f4 ,teachers should not only guard their words1 but the expression of their countenances4 ,the expression should be pleasant and indicative of kindness and common sense4 ,a stolid expression or constant smiling are both exceedingly objectionable in a school-room1 as elsewhere4 ,children are very susceptible either to smiles or frowns1 and both should be used with discretion4 ,approving smiles1 like approving words1 may be given as rewards1 but a too liberal use detracts from their value4 ,it may seem to be setting up an ideal standard to say that when in the school-room an angry or a petulant look should never come upon a teacher's face4 ,it is sometimes necessary to express regret1 sorrow1 or severity in this manner1 but anger and irritability never1 as that shows lack of self-control2 and one of the serious results of such a lack is impoliteness4 #g4 ,teachers should not indulge in modes of discipline that are unrefining in their tendencies4 ,happily the old barbaric modes of punishment are passing away4 ,if complete abolition of corporal punishment does not seem feasible1 any teacher ought to be possessed of sufficient delicacy and refinement to avoid making such punishment public4 ,it should never be inflicted in the presence of the school4 ,,practical ,,training ,,in ,,manners4 #a4 ,ask the children daily to tell what opportunity they have improved of being kind and polite4 #b4 ,the teacher should remark on any improvement shown by the pupils1 and lead pupils to talk of it4 ,it is well to allow them to talk without restraint so as to obtain their real opinions4 ,tact will be needed to ward off a feeling of self-gratulation or conceit1 which may otherwise be brought out when pupils tell of their own polite acts4 #c4 ,impress pupils with the idea that good manners is one of the subjects pursued in the schools1 and that it will help them in life1 and that practice shows progress in this particular branch4 #d4 ,without seeming to demand it1 teachers should lead children to offer them any service that is not menial4 ,such attentions as disposing of wraps1 umbrellas1 etc41 fetching them when needed1 picking up things accidentally dropped1 handing crayon1 eraser1 etc41 lifting or moving things1 offering a chair1 helping to put things in their places at the close of school1 should be rendered to teachers by pupils4 ,if1 at first1 in order to make children see what offices are proper1 the teacher must ask for them1 it should be as one would ask an equal1 and not a servant2 and any service rendered should be most politely acknowledged4 #e4 ,the older children should be made to understand the propriety of assuming some responsibility over the younger4 ,this is almost universally practiced in schools where 8busy work0 is done1 when the older pupils help to distribute materials for such work1 and to assist in its execution4 ,they should also assist those who need aid in putting on or taking off wraps1 overshoes1 etc4 ,children should understand that girls need not necessarily assist girls1 and boys boys1 but that help should be offered and accepted1 as is convenient4 #f4 ,children should be encouraged to try to settle disputes or to quell disorder in any form4 ,this does not imply a system of monitorship4 ,as young children are pleased to do these things1 it needs tact and watchfulness on the teacher's part to keep down an overbearing or officious spirit4 ,this may be accomplished by appointing certain pupils for a definite length of time1 and by removing them from 8office0 when they exceed their authority4 ,these advisers are not to be encouraged in tale-bearing4 ,it should be considered just cause for removal1 unless the tale is told in order to get the teacher's advice as to the best mode of settling a difficulty4 #g4 ,pupils should be trained to receive and entertain those who come to visit the schools4 ,they should entertain as politely in a school-room as in a parlor4 ,when visitors come1 a pupil should answer the bell1 politely invite the company to enter1 find them comfortable seats1 take their wraps if they wish to dispose of them1 and offer any other attention the occasion may seem to demand4 ,to do this properly at the time implies previous training--pupils acting as visitors4 ,in this as in other things1 officiousness on the part of pupils should be guarded against4 ,give opportunities to all pupils in turn to show these attentions4 #h4 ,whenever it is possible1 every direction in manners should be exemplified in the school-room4 ,when the school-room does not furnish illustrations1 directions should be made as real as possible to the youngest pupils1 as1 for instance1 they should actually be shown how to hold the fork1 how to drink from a tumbler1 how to enter a room1 etc4 #i4 ,the polite phrases of society should be used by the teacher to the pupil1 and vice versa4 ,in the discipline of the school1 when children have had training in good manners1 the question 8,is this polite80 will oftentimes prove more effectual than a severe reprimand4 ,this has been demonstrated by actual experience1 even in schools difficult of control4 ,chapter ,,ii4 ,,lessons ,,on ,,manners4 ,,lesson ,i4 ,for the ,youngest ,pupils4 ,purpose4--,to awaken an interest in manners in general4 ,method4--,a common incident in real life briefly described1 followed by questions and answers4 ,the ,lesson4 ,as ,i was sitting on the piazza the other evening1 watching the sunset and listening to the chirp of the birds1 a boy passed along the sidewalk1 and as he looked up and saw me1 he touched his hat and smiled and said1 8,good evening1 ,miss ,b40 ,i smiled back and answered him1 and as he passed on ,i thought about him4 ,why did ,i think about him8 8,because he was so pleasant to you40 ,can you tell what ,i thought8 8,you thought he was good40 8,you thought he was a nice boy40 ,why did ,i think so8 8,because he touched his hat40 8,because he smiled40 8,because he said1 #8,good evening1 ,miss ,b4'0 ,yes1 because he was polite to me4 ,can you tell why we should be polite8 8,it makes people think of us40 8,it makes people like us40 ,what must we learn1 then1 if we wish people to like us8 8,to be polite40 ,,lesson ,,ii4 ,purpose4--,to suggest kindness as an element of politeness4 ,method4-,a supposed incident is used1 and questions given4 ,the ,lesson4 ,suppose a new little girl should come into our room4 ,perhaps she would come from a country far away from this place4 ,her dress might be queer1 and she might not look like any other little girl in the room4 ,what do you think these boys and girls would do8 8,look at her40 ,oh1 ,i hope not1 for how would she feel8 8,i guess she wouldn't like it40 8,i think she would be scared40 8,perhaps she would cry40 ,if she should speak in her own way1 not like ours1 what would happen then8 8,like enough we should laugh40 ,oh1 no1 ,i hope not4 8,i should feel sorry for her40 ,what would you do for her1 ,may8 8,i would go and stand by her and speak to her40 ,what would you say8 8,please come and sit with me40 ,what would you say of ,may1 children1 if she should do and say what she thinks she would8 8,that she is a good girl40 8,she is a kind girl40 8,and a polite girl40 ,what would you say of those children who stared and laughed at her8 8,they were not kind40 8,they were not polite40 ,what do you mean by politeness8 8,it is to speak kind words40 8,and to do kind acts40 ,yes4 ,i will tell you what it is1 in a pretty verse3 8,politeness is to do and say ,the kindest thing in the kindest way40 ,note4--,this couplet is to be memorized4 ,,lesson ,,iii4 ,purpose4--,to suggest seeking the happiness of others as an element of good manners4 ,method4--,a story told founded on an incident liable to happen at any time1 and a conversation deduced4 ,the ,lesson4 ,one day ,i looked out on the play-ground1 where there were many children playing and seeming to have the best kind of a time4 ,on the other side of the ground was one little girl looking as sad and lonely as you can think4 ,i was about to go and see if ,i could cheer her up1 when another little girl whose name was ,jennie1 and who had been playing with all her might1 happened to see her4 ,she left her place and went to the stranger1 and said in a sweet way1 8,wouldn't you like to come and play too8 ,come and take my place40 ,and away they went hand-in-hand1 looking as happy as two butterflies4 ,now1 what do you think of ,jennie8 8,she was good40 8,she was kind40 8,she asked the new girl to go and play40 ,was that all8 8,she gave up her place in the game that the little girl might play40 ,was that very kind8 8,yes1 ,miss ,b40 ,how did it make the little stranger feel8 8,happy40 ,what do you say of such acts8 8,they are polite40 ,how1 then1 shall we be polite to others8 8,by trying to make them happy40 ,note4--,although all the underlying principles of politeness can be taught unconsciously to the youngest pupils1 it is better to teach but two formally1 without unfamiliar terms4 ,the end sought in the first year of instruction in this subject is to rouse thought and interest1 and to lead the pupil to make simple judgments4 ,in the next higher grade of lessons1 other principles may be formally taught1 and new terms brought out4 ,in the highest grade all principles should be taught4 ,chapter ,,iii4 ,,lessons ,,on ,,manners4 ,,second ,,two ,,years4 ,,lesson ,,iv4 ,purpose4--,to suggest kindness and unselfishness as two underlying principles of good manners4 ,method4--,a familiar conversation4 ,the ,lesson4 ,suppose a boy seated in the easiest chair in the room1 reading and enjoying himself1 should rise on seeing his mother enter1 and offer her the chair4 ,what would you say of that boy8 8,that he was kind40 ,then what kind of a heart would you suppose he had8 8,a kind heart40 ,and of whom did this kind heart lead him to think8 8,of his mother40 ,do you suppose he disliked to give up the chair8 8,i think he did40 8,i think he was glad to give it up40 ,how could that be8 8,why1 he wanted the chair1 but he loved his mother so much he was glad to give it up40 ,mary has told it very well4 ,what can you say of him beside that he was kind8 8,he was unselfish40 ,what is it to be unselfish8 8,to think of others before ourselves40 ,and to what do kindness and unselfishness lead8 8,to politeness40 ,there is a rule that may help you in being unselfish and polite1 and ,i wish you to learn it4 ,it is this3 8,do to others as you wish others to do to you40 ,,lesson ,v4 ,purpose4--,to suggest as a reason for cultivating good manners that we thus make our manners like those of the best people4 ,method4--,questions and answers4 ,the ,lesson4 ,of what did we talk in our last lesson8 8,of kindness40 8,and trying to make others happy40 ,what is it to think of the happiness of others before our own8 8,unselfishness40 ,and if we practice unselfishness1 what can be said of us8 8,that we have good manners40 ,but do all kind and unselfish people have good manners8 7,some are in doubt47 ,let us see4 ,i do not think a truly kind heart will allow any one to be rude1 but how is it in this case8 ,it is not thought polite to eat with the knife4 ,have you ever known kind people to do it8 8,yes1 ,miss ,b40 ,why do you think they do it8 8,because they know no better40 ,can they learn better8 8,yes1 ,miss ,b40 ,how8 8,from other people40 ,how from other people8 8,they can watch1 and do what they see nice people do40 ,and how do these nice people know8 8,perhaps they have watched some other nice people40 ,if one who has used his knife in eating learns better1 what ought he to do8 8,to stop using it40 ,and if he continues to use it1 what will be thought of him8 8,that he is odd or queer40 ,should you like to be thought odd or queer8 8,no ma'am40 ,then what must you do8 8,we must watch people who know what good manners are1 and try to make our manners like theirs40 ,what kind of people are polite8 8,the best people40 ,if we learn to do as the best people do1 how shall we be considered8 8,to be best people40 ,now tell me one reason why our manners should be good4 8,because the best people have good manners40 ,and another8 8,because we wish to be considered best40 ,,lesson #f4 ,purpose4--,to suggest gaining the esteem of others as a reason why good manners should be cultivated4 ,method4--,a story4 ,the ,lesson4 ,a boy once wished to find a place to work4 ,he went to a shop in town where he had heard help was needed4 ,many were there before him1 and he thought he stood no chance at all of getting the work1 but much to his surprise he was employed4 ,he said1 8,why1 sir1 ,i did not expect it when so many were ahead of me40 8,do you wish to know why ,i hired you80 said the gentleman4 8,you came in quietly1 you took off your hat1 you gave your chair to an old man1 you stood patiently until your turn came1 and then you spoke pleasantly and in a manly tone of voice2 in fact1 ,i saw you were a well-bred boy1 and that is the reason ,i hired you40 ,if this boy had been rude1 what would have happened8 8,he would not have been employed40 ,how did the gentleman feel toward him8 8,he liked him40 ,what was his one reason for liking him8 ,he had never seen him before4 8,his manners were good40 ,if your manners are good1 how will people feel toward you8 8,they will like us40 ,tell me1 then1 a reason why you should be polite4 8,we should be polite because people like us better for it40 ,chapter ,,iv4 ,,manners ,,in ,,school4 ,,first ,,two ,,years4 ,,illustrative ,,lessons4 ,,lesson #g4 ,purpose4--,to show the necessity of good manners in school4 ,method4--,a guessing lesson4 ,the ,lesson4 ,shall we have a guessing game to-day8 8,yes'm40 ,very well4 ,you may guess1 ,arthur1 why ,i like to have a boy enter this room quietly4 8,because you have told him to40 ,what is it to do as ,i have told him8 8,it is minding you40 ,you may guess1 ,mary1 what ,i should think of a boy who came in noisily4 8,that he was rude40 ,and the other boy was----8 8,polite40 ,then if he minded me1 it made him----8 8,polite40 ,you may guess1 ,george1 why ,i like to have ,johnnie pick up my crayon when ,i drop it4 8,you want it40 ,yes1 but ,i could get it for myself4 ,why do ,i like to have ,johnnie do it for me8 8,it shows how kind he is40 ,if he should not pick it up1 would it be because he was unkind8 8,perhaps he wouldn't think40 ,what have we learned about those who try to think of doing others a kindness8 8,that they are polite40 ,you may guess how ,i feel toward ,johnnie when he is kind and polite to me4 8,you like him40 ,may ,i guess that you like me when ,i am kind and polite to you8 8,yes1 ,miss ,b40 ,suppose we should always be kind and polite to each other here in school1 what kind of a school should we have8 8,a good school40 8,a pleasant school40 ,then we must try and make our manners in school good4 ,i must be polite to you1 and you polite to me4 ,,lesson #h4 ,purpose4--,to show that regularity of attendance at school is a mark of good manners4 ,method4--,a conversation4 ,the ,lesson4 ,you may read a part of yesterday's lesson1 ,susie4 8,i can't40 ,why not8 8,i was not here yesterday1 and ,i don't know the lesson40 ,why were you not here8 8,i did not wish to come40 ,what did you lose by not coming8 8,my lessons40 ,does that make any hard work for me1 ,susie8 8,yes'm4 ,you will have to teach the lesson again40 ,what will the rest of the class do while ,i am teaching you this lesson8 8,they will have to wait for me40 ,what is thought of a school when the pupils do not come steadily8 8,that it is not a good school40 ,tell me1 then1 why it is unfair for pupils to stay away from school1 when they can come4 8,it makes extra work for the teacher40 8,it keeps the rest of the class waiting40 8,it gives the school a bad name40 ,yes1 and all this is unkind1 and if unkind----8 8,it is impolite40 ,,lesson #i4 ,purpose4--,to show that punctuality of attendance at school is a sign of good manners4 ,method4--,a contrast drawn and lesson deduced4 ,the ,lesson4 ,it is not a little boy in our room of whom ,i am about to tell you4 ,i hope there is not such a child in our room4 ,but there is a boy somewhere who has to be called and called in the morning1 and then he yawns1 and takes another nap1 and puts off getting out of bed as long as he possibly can4 ,he is late at breakfast1 late in doing his morning's work1 and late at school4 ,he goes into his school-room after the rest are at their work1 and disturbs the teacher and the children1 feels very unhappy1 and perhaps gets a mark that he does not like4 ,there is another boy somewhere1 and ,i guess right here in this room4 ,he does not wait for his mother to call him1 but when it is time he springs out of bed1 and is ready in time for his breakfast1 and gets his work done1 and starts for school with a happy face1 and arrives there in time for a game with his school-mates and a pleasant word with his teacher before school begins4 ,which one of these boys would you rather be1 ,john8 8,the one who is not late40 ,why8 8,because it makes trouble when we come in late40 ,how does it make trouble8 8,we do not mind you1 for you have told us not to be late40 8,sometimes you have to stop the lesson and help us take off our things40 8,and show us the place in the book40 ,and how about the class8 8,they look at us when we come in1 and forget their lesson40 ,if you are unkind enough not to mind me1 and to disturb the class1 what are your manners8 8,bad40 ,tell me how it is if you try not to be late4 8,we are kind and polite40 ,,lesson #aj4 ,purpose4--,to show that cleanliness is one sign of good manners in school4 ,method4--,a conversation4 ,the ,lesson4 ,you may tell me what you do in getting ready to go on a visit4 8,we bathe40 8,and comb our hair40 8,and clean our nails40 8,and put on our best clothes40 ,why should you do all this8 8,because we wish to look nice40 ,why do you care to look nice8 8,people see us40 ,what of that8 8,we ought to make ourselves as nice as we can to other people40 8,they like us better if we are clean40 ,then what is one reason why you make yourselves tidy8 8,to make people like us40 ,are there any people here whom you wish to like you8 8,yes1 ,miss ,b41 you and our school-mates40 ,tell me one way to make us like you4 8,to keep ourselves clean40 8,and our clothes clean40 ,if you do this with the idea of pleasing others1 what can we say of you8 8,we are polite40 ,,lesson #aa4 ,purpose4--,to show that care in keeping the school-room clean is a sign of good manners4 ,method4--,a conversation4 ,the ,lesson4 ,there is a rug at the door1 children4 ,why is it there8 8,we are to clean our shoes on it when they are muddy40 ,jack did not know1 did he1 when he came in8 ,what is the use of cleaning your shoes8 8,it keeps the floor clean40 ,how else can you keep the floor clean8 8,we need not throw paper on it40 8,nor anything else40 ,and why keep the floor clean8 8,that our room may be nice40 8,you wish us to keep it clean40 ,once in a while some little children are careless about it4 ,do you suppose they are thinking about you or me8 8,no1 ,miss ,b41 neither one40 ,then we must call them impolite4 ,in what way1 then1 can you show good manners8 8,by trying to keep our school-room neat and clean40 ,,subjects ,,for ,,additional ,,lessons4 ,care of school furniture4 ,care of halls1 piazzas1 walls4 ,care of school grounds4 ,care of books4 ,economy in using what is furnished by the school4 ,care in using borrowed articles and in returning them4 ,only quiet conduct permissible in the school-room at any time4 ,,lesson #ab4 ,purpose4--,to show how pupils should conduct themselves toward their teachers4 ,method4--,a conversation4 ,the ,lesson4 ,suppose when ,i wished to speak to you ,i should call you boy instead of ,harry1 how would you like it8 8,i shouldn't like it40 ,well1 ,i might call you pupil8 8,i shouldn't like that either40 ,how would it do to call you child1 ,mary8 8,no one would know which child40 ,what must ,i call any of you that you may know who is meant8 8,you must call us by our names40 ,do you like your own name8 8,yes'm40 ,do you suppose ,i like my name8 8,yes'm40 ,then what should you do when you speak to your teacher8 8,we should call you by your real name40 ,why8 8,because it is polite if you wish it40 ,note4--,a teacher's name should be taught to pupils when they first enter school4 ,,subjects ,,for ,,additional ,,lessons4 #a4 ,rendering assistance to teachers4 #b4 ,care in not interrupting a teacher4 #c4 ,kind treatment of school-mates4 #d4 ,respectful treatment of the janitor4 #e4 ,respectful treatment of visitors4 #f4 ,respectful treatment of those who address the school4 ,note4--,subjects for many lessons may be found in ,reminders1 ,chapter ,,xii41 etc4 ,chapter ,v4 ,,manners ,,in ,,school4 ,,second ,,two ,,years4 ,,illustrative ,,lessons4 ,,lesson #ac4 ,purpose4--,to show the necessity of good manners in school4 ,method4--,a suggestive incident related1 followed by a conversation4 ,the ,lesson4 ,one time a little girl whom ,i knew had a birth-day party1 and ,i was invited4 ,i went1 and saw many little girls and boys wearing their best clothes1 their brightest faces1 and pleasantest smiles4 ,they also had brought the best of something else4 ,do you know what8 8,their best manners40 ,yes4 ,these same boys and girls were in my school1 and as ,i saw how lovely they could be at a party1 it made me wish something4 ,do you know what8 8,that they would be so in school40 ,what difference would it make8 8,it would make the school pleasanter40 8,it would make it better40 ,i wish you would all think what politeness in school would lead you to do4 8,we should be kind to you40 8,we should mind you40 ,and then you would be what kind of pupils8 8,obedient40 ,yes4 ,what else would you do8 8,learn our lessons40 ,what kind of pupils would you be8 8,diligent pupils40 8,industrious pupils40 ,if you are obedient and industrious all day1 how would you feel when school closed8 8,happy40 ,how many think it will pay to be polite in school8 ,how many will try8 ,if we study and practise good manners here1 how will it be in other places8 8,our manners will be good40 ,give two reasons why our school manners should be good4 8,good manners help to make a pleasant school40 8,good manners studied and practised in school aid in their practice elsewhere40 ,note4--,terms obedient1 diligent1 etc41 are supposed to have been given in moral lessons4 ,,lesson #ad4 ,purpose4--,to show that regularity of attendance at school is a sign of good manners4 ,method4--,a conversation4 ,the ,lesson4 ,when ,i called the roll this morning1 did every one answer to his name8 8,no1 ,miss ,b41 some were not here40 ,why do you suppose they were not here8 8,perhaps they were sick40 8,perhaps they had to work40 8,perhaps they had gone away on a visit40 8,perhaps they did not wish to come40 ,how many reasons does that make8 8,four40 ,how many good reasons8 8,two40 ,what are the poor reasons8 8,that they are away on a visit40 8,that they do not wish to come40 ,what do you say of children who often stay away from school4 8,that they are not steady in coming40 ,yes1 or that their attendance is not regular4 ,tell me how many people wish you to be regular in your attendance at school4 8,you do1 because we lose our lessons if we stay away40 8,and our school-mates1 because they have to wait for us to make up lost lessons40 8,and our parents1 and all good people who know us1 because they wish us to learn40 8,we all wish our school to have a good name40 ,then what do you think of an absence that can be helped8 8,it is unkind40 8,it is impolite40 ,,lesson #ae4 ,purpose4--,to show that punctuality of attendance is a sign of good manners4 ,method4--,a story followed by a conversation4 ,the ,lesson4 ,i once knew a little girl with blue eyes and rosy cheeks and lovely golden hair4 ,everybody loved her because she was so sweet and loving and kind4 ,but even this dear little girl had some faults1 and one was in putting off whatever she had to do4 ,when her mamma would say1 8,bessie1 it is time to start for school10 she would answer sweetly1 8,yes1 mamma1 ,i shall go in a minute10 but the minutes would fly and ,bessie would not start4 ,of course she was often late4 ,what trouble did she cause by her tardiness8 8,she had a tardy mark against her name1 and spoiled the record of the school40 8,she displeased her mamma40 8,and her teacher40 8,she disturbed the class by going in late40 ,then1 even if she were a very nice little girl in most things1 what did this show her to be8 8,selfish and unkind and impolite40 ,why8 8,because she made others unhappy40 ,what do you say of one who is always at school on time8 8,we say he is punctual40 ,what is one way by which politeness in school can be shown8 8,by punctuality40 ,,lesson #af4 ,purpose4--,to show that cleanliness is one sign of good manners4 ,method4--,a conversation4 ,the ,lesson4 ,suppose a boy should come to school with his face and hands unwashed and his hair uncombed1 what would you say of him8 8,that he was not nice40 ,how would you feel toward him8 8,we should not like to look at him40 8,nor sit beside him40 8,nor touch him40 ,what do you say of people whom you do not wish to see or touch8 8,they are disagreeable40 ,what must people expect when they make themselves disagreeable8 8,that they will not be liked40 ,if they show so little care for the good opinion of others1 what may be said of them8 8,that they are disrespectful40 ,and if they are disrespectful8 8,they are impolite40 ,then how can pupils show politeness to teacher and school-mates8 8,by being clean and tidy40 ,,lesson #ag4 ,purpose4--,to show that care for school belongings is a sign of good manners4 ,method4--,a conversation4 ,the ,lesson4 ,think just two minutes of the question ,i am about to ask you1 and then1 if you have something to say1 raise hands4 ,how can we keep our school-rooms1 school-buildings1 and school-grounds in good order8 ,you may begin with our room1 ,mary4 8,when it is muddy we must clean our shoes on the mat before we come in40 8,we must not throw things on the floor40 8,we must keep things in their places40 8,we must not mark the desks40 8,nor the wall40 ,how is it with the steps1 or piazzas1 or the halls8 8,we must take the same care of them as of the inside40 ,what of the yard8 8,we must not throw papers or anything else in it40 8,nor trample down the grass40 8,except on the playground40 ,suppose1 instead of taking care of things in this way1 some boy should carelessly throw things about1 mar the furniture1 or trample down the grass8 8,he would be a bad boy40 8,nobody would like him40 8,if he kept doing it1 perhaps he would be sent home40 ,if he kept doing it when he knew better1 and when he was told not to1 what would you say of him8 8,that he was disobedient40 ,and what may be said of one who neglects the wishes of others8 8,that he is impolite40 ,yes1 or ill-bred4 ,if pupils take good care of everything belonging to school1 what can be said of them8 8,that they are well-bred40 ,,subjects ,,for ,,additional ,,lessons4 #a4 ,care of books4 #b4 ,economy in using what is furnished by the school4 #c4 ,care in using borrowed articles and in returning them4 #d4 ,only quiet conduct permissible in the school-room at any time4 ,,lesson #ah4 ,purpose4--,to show how pupils should conduct themselves towards their teacher4 ,method4--,a short incident related and conclusion drawn4 ,the ,lesson4 ,one time ,i heard a mother say to her two boys1 8,i wish you to do some work for me4 ,there are the chickens to be fed1 ,henry1 and old ,doll is waiting for ,charles to give her her morning's meal40 ,the boys both heard distinctly4 ,this is how ,henry's face looked3 round as an apple1 eyes bright1 a pleasant smile on his lips1 and with an 8all right1 mother10 he started on a run to the barn where the hens were4 ,this is how ,charles looked3 a long face1 eyes dull and sober1 a scowl on his forehead1 as he moped along to feed old ,doll1 after being repeatedly told to do so by his mother4 ,tell me what the first face meant4 8,it meant that ,henry was the better boy40 8,it meant that he intended to obey his mother40 8,and to do so right off40 8,and in a pleasant way40 ,what did the other face mean8 8,it meant that ,charles did not like to obey40 8,and he intended to take his own time40 8,and he was cross about it40 ,yes1 you would know he was ill-natured by the scowl4 ,what do you say of ,henry's treatment of his mother8 8,it was kind and polite40 ,did any of you ever act like ,charles8 ,and here in school8 ,if you treat me kindly and politely1 how will you show it in one way8 8,by obeying you immediately and cheerfully40 ,chapter ,,vi4 ,,manners ,,at ,,home4 ,,first ,,two ,,years4 ,,illustrative ,,lessons4 ,,lesson #ai4 ,purpose4--,to awaken an interest in home manners4 ,method4--,a conversation4 ,the ,lesson4 ,whom do you love best in all the world8 8,papa and mamma40 ,why do you love them best8 8,they are good to us40 8,they take care of us40 8,they love us40 ,how ought you to repay them8 8,we ought to be kind to them40 ,how kind8 8,we ought to be kinder to them than to any one else in the world40 ,what means about the same thing as kindness8 8,politeness40 ,if so1 ought you ever to be impolite to them8 8,no1 ,miss ,b41 we ought to be more polite to them than to any one else40 ,note4--,a similar lesson on politeness to brothers and sisters may be given here4 ,,lesson #bj4 ,purpose4--,to specify attentions due to home friends4 ,method4--,a conversation4 ,the ,lesson4 ,how ought we to treat everybody8 8,politely40 ,whom should we treat the most politely of any one8 8,our father and mother40 8,and brothers and sisters40 8,and everybody at home40 ,when you first see the people at home in the morning1 do you ever forget to speak to them8 8,yes1 ,miss ,b40 ,and what else sometimes happens8 8,we look cross40 8,and perhaps we cry40 ,would you like to know how you can always be pleasant and polite to your own home friends in the morning8 8,yes'm40 ,i will tell you4 ,there is a little key which you can all have1 and if you will not forget to use it1 it will always make you pleasant and polite in the morning4 ,it is this3 8,good-morning1 mamma60 8,good-morning1 papa60 and a 8,good-morning60 to all who are present4 ,but this must be said in a certain way4 ,can you tell me how8 8,pleasantly40 ,and how should you look when you say it8 8,good-natured40 8,we should smile40 ,yes1 a pleasant 8,good-morning60 and a smiling face will help to make the whole family happy4 ,i wish you to remember about this key1 and shall ask you to learn these words3 8,good-morning6 that's the golden key ,that unlocks every day for me40 ,note4--,similar lessons may be given here1 closing with the 8keys10 8,when evening comes1 #8,good-night6' ,i say1 ,and close the door of each glad day40 8,when friends give anything to me1 ,i'll use the little #8,thank you' key40 8#8,excuse me1' #8,beg your pardon1' too1 ,when by mistake some harm ,i do40 8,or1 if unkindly wrong ,i've given1 ,with the #8,forgive me' key ,i'll be forgiven40 ,chapter ,,vii4 ,,manners ,,at ,,home4 ,,second ,,two ,,years4 ,,illustrative ,,lessons4 ,,lesson #ba4 ,purpose4--,to specify some polite attentions due to home friends4 ,method4--,a story told1 followed by a conversation4 ,the ,lesson4 ,i once knew a little girl whom most everybody praised for being polite4 ,whenever she met people away from home1 or whenever there was company at her home1 she was very polite to them4 ,she would ask visitors to take the easiest chairs1 she would bring a hassock for their feet1 she would watch their comfort in every way4 ,she said 8,yes1 sir10 and 8,no1 ,miss ,b410 and 8,excuse me10 and 8,i beg your pardon10 and all those polite things4 ,one day when ,i was the visitor and had been treated very politely by the little girl1 ,i happened to hear her mother ask her to raise the shade4 ,a little while before1 she had asked me1 in the sweetest manner1 if she should lower this same shade for me2 but in answer to her mother's request she frowned and did not move from her chair4 ,pretty soon her little brother came to her to be amused1 but she pushed him away and said3 8,go away1 ,harry1 ,i can't be bothered with you40 ,when her father came in tired at night1 and asked her to get his slippers for him1 she did it in a very ungracious manner4 ,those who have something to say of this little girl may raise hands4 8,she was not good to her father and mother40 8,nor to little ,harry40 8,she was polite to company40 8,but not to her own people40 ,why should we be polite to our home friends8 8,because they are kind to us1 and love us40 ,how should we be polite to them8 8,we should look out for their comfort40 8,and always speak politely to them40 7,here lead children to specify courtesies of act and speech4 ,specially refer to a boy's polite treatment of his mother47 #cbj4 ,,subjects ,,for ,,additional ,,lessons4 ,special politeness to very old people in the family4 ,polite treatment of visitors4 ,polite treatment of servants4 ,reminders4 #a4 ,be sure to say 8,sir80 to your father when he calls your name1 and 8,yes1 sir10 and 8,no1 sir10 in answer to a question4 ,cheerfully wait upon your father4 ,never contradict him2 mind him quickly4 #b4 ,treat your mother as if she were the queen4 ,say 8,yes1 mamma10 or 8,yes1 mother10 when she calls your name1 and 8,no1 mamma10 etc41 in answer to her questions4 ,boys and girls should show their mothers every polite attention due other ladies4 #c4 8,please0 and 8,thank you0 should be said to servants4 #ajh4 ,chapter ,,viii4 ,,manners ,,in ,,public4 ,,first ,,two ,,years4 ,,illustrative ,,lessons4 ,,lesson #bb4 ,purpose4--,to show the necessity of good manners in the street4 ,method4--,an incident related4 ,pupils allowed to comment4 ,the ,lesson4 ,the other day1 as ,i was walking on the sidewalk1 two or three boys came running down the hill1 and nearly pushed me over4 ,they never stopped to ask me to excuse them1 but ran on1 calling to everyone1 8,out of the way60 ,some little girls on the other side of the street were laughing very loudly and causing every one to look at them4 ,what do you say of these boys and girls8 8,they were rude40 8,the boys were unkind40 ,ought not boys to run8 8,not against people40 ,ought not little girls to laugh8 8,not loudly in the street40 ,why not8 8,because it is not the custom of well-bred girls40 ,how should people act on the street8 8,they should give people their share of the walk40 8,they should not cause people to look at them40 ,yes1 they should be little ladies and gentlemen on the street4 #ahb4 ,,lesson #bc4 ,purpose4--,to teach that undue curiosity shown on the street is impolite4 ,method4--,a story1 followed by a conversation4 ,the ,lesson4 ,once there was a little boy who was deformed4 ,who will tell me what that means8 8,it means that he was a hunch-back40 8,or that he had a queer foot40 ,yes1 this poor boy had not feet like yours1 and could walk very little without crutches4 ,one day he was taking a walk with his nurse1 and was trying to take a few steps without his crutches4 ,of course it was very hard work for him1 and he went very slowly4 ,some boys were skipping down the hill towards him1 and he looked as if he would give all he had in the world if he could skip too4 ,but what do you suppose these boys did as they came near8 ,they stopped still1 and stared at the poor little fellow4 ,it made him feel bad1 for his cheeks grew red and tears filled his eyes as he hobbled away from them4 ,what would you have done1 ,john1 if you had been one of those boys8 8,i would have walked right by without looking40 8,i would have looked at his face1 but not at his feet40 8,i would have acted as if he were like other boys40 ,yes1 that is the way to do4 ,think how you would like to be treated if you were in this boy's place4 ,is it the custom of well-bred people to stare at one on the street8 8,no1 ,miss ,b40 ,we will try to remember then---- 8,never to stare at people on the street40 ,chapter ,,ix4 ,,manners ,,in ,,public4 ,,second ,,two ,,years4 ,,illustrative ,,lessons4 ,,lesson #bd4 ,purpose4--,to show the necessity of good manners on the street4 ,method4--,a conversation4 ,the ,lesson4 ,suppose we play taking a walk to-day4 ,where shall we go1 ,belle8 8,around the square40 ,very well4 ,you may start now1 and ,mary and ,kate and ,jennie may take hold of hands1 and as they go along the street they may talk and laugh at the top of their voices4 ,if they meet any one1 they need not take any trouble to give up a part of the sidewalk4 ,what do you say1 ,ned8 8,that wouldn't be right40 ,why not8 8,because it wouldn't be nice for them to talk loud in the street40 ,and you1 ,harry8 8,they ought to let people pass on the sidewalk40 ,oh1 ,i thought ,i saw some boys the other day who did not do it4 ,were they wrong8 8,yes'm1 they were40 ,how should we act in the street8 8,we should be quiet40 8,and we should not be selfish and take all the walk40 ,why should our behavior on the street be good8 8,because many people see us there1 and notice if it is not good40 ,,subjects ,,for ,,additional ,,lessons ,,for ,,both ,,grades4 ,polite attentions towards elderly people on the street4 ,polite attention towards strangers who make inquiries4 ,simple instruction in church manners4 ,simple instruction in manners at places of entertainment4 ,note4--,many suggestions for these lessons may be found in lessons for advanced grades4 ,chapter ,x4 ,,table ,,manners4 ,,first ,,two ,,years4 ,,illustrative ,,lessons4 ,,lesson #be4 ,purpose4--,to show the necessity of good table-manners4 ,method4--,a contrast drawn4 ,children allowed to comment4 ,the ,lesson4 ,a little girl came to the table very hungry4 ,there were a good many older people there1 and as she had been taught to wait until the older ones were served1 she sat very still and waited very patiently until every one else at the table was enjoying a nice dinner4 ,she grew hungry every minute1 and could hardly keep the tears back1 but still did not ask for anything4 ,when it was found that she had been forgotten1 but was so patient and well-behaved1 every one praised her1 and you may be sure she had the best dinner they were able to give her4 ,another little girl came to another table very hungry4 ,she waited for no one1 but immediately began to ask for this and that1 and not in the nicest way1 either4 ,she made herself so disagreeable that every one at the table was glad to have her served first4 ,did it pay the first little girl to wait8 8,yes'm4 ,everybody thought she was so nice40 ,how about the other one8 8,they thought she was a naughty girl40 ,what is one way1 then1 by which you may make people like you8 8,by behaving politely at the table40 ,,lesson #bf4 ,purpose4--,to show that punctuality at the table is desirable4 ,method4--,an incident related1 followed by a conversation4 ,the ,lesson4 ,johnnie1 like many little boys1 was fond of sleeping in the morning4 ,the bed always seemed the softest and his dreams the most interesting just as the rising bell rang4 ,he would wake just enough to think there would be time enough before breakfast to go to sleep again and finish out that one dream4 ,but nap followed nap until the sharp ting-a-ling-ling of the breakfast bell roused him4 ,then he would try to dress hurriedly1 but every thing generally went wrong1 and he would get out to breakfast too late for the delicious hot cakes the rest of the family had enjoyed4 ,how do you think it made him feel to eat a cold breakfast8 8,cross40 ,tell me what you think of such a boy as ,johnnie4 8,he was lazy40 8,he didn't do as his mother wished him to40 ,did he make his mother trouble8 8,yes'm4 ,his breakfast had to be kept for him40 8,it would have been kinder if he had eaten with the rest40 ,think of ,johnnie1 and tell me what you mean not to do any more4 8,to be late at the table40 ,why8 8,because it makes trouble and isn't kind40 ,and if not kind8 8,not polite40 ,does this mean the home-table only8 8,no1 ,miss ,b4 ,it means when we are at home or when we are visiting40 ,,lesson #bg4 ,purpose4--,to show that polite attention is specially due the lady of the house1 at table4 ,method4--,a conversation4 ,the ,lesson4 ,who sits at the head of the table8 8,mother40 ,who1 then1 is the most honored one at the table8 8,mother40 ,and mother is sometimes called 8the lady of the house40 ,how can we tell when we ought to do certain things at the table8 8,we can watch the lady of the house40 ,then how shall we know when to sit at the table8 8,when the lady of the house sits40 ,yes1 no one should sit until she does4 ,and when the meal is over1 how long should we stay at table8 8,until the lady of the house rises40 ,suppose it is necessary to leave the table before that8 8,we must ask the one at the head of the table to excuse us40 ,unless we do these things what will be thought of us8 8,people will think we have not been taught good manners40 ,,lesson #bh4 ,purpose4--,to show that selfishness at the table is not a sign of good manners4 ,method4--,a conversation4 ,the ,lesson4 ,how many of you like oranges8 ,i see that you all do4 ,suppose you were to have oranges for breakfast1 and when they were brought on one should be much larger than the other1 which would you want8 8,the biggest one40 ,certainly1 there is nothing wrong in that1 but would you take the largest one8 8,no1 ,miss ,b40 ,why not8 8,i would leave that for mamma40 8,it isn't polite to take the largest and best for yourself40 ,who should have the best8 8,mamma and papa40 ,suppose grandmamma or grandpapa should be at the table8 8,then they should have the best40 ,tell me who should have the best when there is any choice4 8,the older people40 ,how should the others feel about it8 8,they should be glad to give the best to others40 ,,lesson #bi4 ,purpose4--,to specify some forms of polite expressions used at table4 ,method4--,an incident related4 ,criticisms elicited from pupils4 ,the ,lesson4 ,i once sat down to dine at a table where there were three children4 ,they seemed to be nearly starved1 although ,i knew they had eaten a good breakfast4 ,as soon as they had taken their seats they called out1 8,i want some bread10 8,give me some meat10 8,pass that jelly20 and when they were served they began to eat as if it were their first meal in a long time4 ,i think some of you would have been surprised at those children's manners4 ,what have you to say about them1 ,jennie8 8,they ought to have kept still until they were served40 8,they ought to have said1 #8,i would like some bread1 if you please4'0 8,and #8,will you please give me some meat8'0 8,and8 #8,will you be so kind as to pass the jelly8'0 ,yes1 that would have been much better4 ,what should you say when something is passed to you at table1 and you do not wish it8 8,not any1 ,i thank you40 8,i don't care for any1 thank you40 ,if you remember to do these things1 what will be said of you8 8,that we know how to speak politely at the table40 ,chapter ,,xi4 ,,table ,,manners4 ,,second ,,two ,,years4 ,,illustrative ,,lessons4 ,,lesson #cj4 ,purpose4--,to show the necessity of good table manners4 ,method4--,questions4 ,the ,lesson4 ,suppose you should see at any table a young lady1 very pretty and very nicely dressed1 a perfect stranger to you1 and she should say to the servant1 in quite a loud tone of voice1 8,hurry1 and bring me my dinner40 ,what would you think of her1 ,henry8 8,i should think she had not learned to be polite40 ,suppose she should eat very rapidly1 putting the food to her mouth with a knife1 what would you think of her1 ,kate8 8,i should think she knew very little about good manners40 ,and if she should take the choicest of everything on the table for herself8 8,i should say she was very selfish40 ,how have you formed these opinions of the young lady8 8,from her table manners40 ,then good table manners are very important4 ,why8 8,because people judge us by them40 ,,lesson #ca4 ,purpose4--,to show the deference due the lady of the house at table4 ,method4--,a conversation4 ,the ,lesson4 ,who is the lady of the house1 usually8 8,the mother of the family40 ,what seat at table does she usually occupy8 8,she sits at the head of the table40 ,is there any way of knowing when we shall take our seats at table8 ,shall we take them just as it happens8 8,we should take them when mother does1 not before40 ,or if we are away from home8 8,when the lady of the house does40 ,yes1 or when the one who presides at the table sits4 ,how long should we sit at table1 ,john8 8,until we have finished eating40 ,it is not proper to leave as soon as we have finished4 ,can any one tell when we should rise from the table8 8,when the lady of the house rises40 ,yes4 ,suppose it is necessary to leave before that8 8,we should ask to be excused40 ,can you think of any other politeness to be shown the mother1 or the lady of the house1 at table8 8,we should be prompt at meals40 ,where8 8,both at home and away from home40 ,why8 8,because it is impolite to keep people waiting for us40 ,,lesson #cb4 ,purpose4--,to specify some polite usages at table4 ,method4--,a conversation4 ,the ,lesson4 ,i would like you to tell me some things about table manners4 ,you may think of polite ways of asking for things at table1 and ,i will write them on the blackboard as you give them4 ,but first you may tell me whom you should ask4 8,a servant1 if there is one40 ,and if not8 8,any one who can easily reach what is wanted40 ,you may tell me how to ask4 8,please pass the bread40 8,may ,i ask you for the bread80 8,will you be so kind as to pass the bread80 ,yes1 and if you are asked if you would like the bread1 what should you say8 8,if you please40 8,and #8,thank you1' if you take it40 ,if you should not wish it8 8,no1 ,i thank you40 8,or1 #8,not any1 ,i thank you1'0 ,how do you know these expressions are polite8 8,polite people use them40 ,,subjects ,,for ,,additional ,,lessons4 ,use of fork and spoon1 with practical illustrations4 ,impoliteness of rapid eating4 ,chapter ,,xii4 ,,lesson ,,on ,,manners4 ,,for ,,advanced ,,pupils4 ,,lesson #a4 ,purpose4--,to suggest the underlying principles of good manners4 ,method4--,item to be read with or without comment1 or questions to be asked4 ,the ,lesson4 ,some one says 8,true politeness consists in making every one happy about you40 ,it is true that forgetfulness of self and thoughtfulness of the comfort and happiness of others makes one's behavior very acceptable to others4 ,a kind heart is undoubtedly the foundation of good manners2 but if this be so1 there are other qualities of equal importance that form a superstructure on which good manners rest4 ,we use the term gentleman and lady with reference to outward appearance1 but they also imply that a person is honest and true and refined4 ,who would think of calling one a gentleman if his word could not be trusted8 ,charles ,i4 said to the ,commoners1 8,you have not only the word of a king but of a gentleman40 ,could a lady be guilty of indelicate language8 ,would a real gentleman or lady ridicule the unfortunate8 ,true courtesy implies much more than an outside show4 ,even what seems a mere form is usually founded in kindness and common sense4 ,it is necessary that we become familiar with these forms4 ,we do not like to be called odd or peculiar4 ,we do not like to be considered ignorant of what good and wise people have decided it proper and right to do4 ,we wish rather to copy the manners of the best people that we may gain their esteem and be classed with them4 ,if we learn and practise good manners while we are young1 when older we shall practise them unconsciously1 as they will have become a habit4 7,questions to be used if preferred47 ,what leads people to be polite8 ,how has some one defined true politeness8 ,what did ,charles ,i4 imply by his statement8 ,why is it necessary to become familiar with the formalities of good manners8 ,give illustration of some practice of polite society that might be termed a formality4 ,enumerate the underlying principles of good manners4 ,chapter ,,xiii4 ,,manners ,,in ,,school4 ,,lesson #b4 ,purpose4--,to show the necessity of good manners in school4 ,method4--,item to be read with or without comment1 or questions to be asked4 ,the ,lesson4 ,young people sometimes seem to think good manners are to be put on as fine clothes are1 not for every-day wear1 but for company only4 ,those who put this theory into practice will find that good manners fit them in company no better than garments cut for some one else4 ,if manners really spring from a kind heart1 they will be practised everywhere4 ,good manners in school continually practised will soon become a habit4 ,courteous pupils rarely need reprimand or reproof4 ,they treat their teacher as they would a friend1 and in this way help greatly in making the school pleasant and profitable4 ,such pupils remember their school-days with pleasure4 ,questions4 ,what is the appearance of one who is only occasionally polite8 ,what is the real source of good manners8 ,where should they be practised8 ,are good manners as important in a school-room as in a parlor8 ,what is the effect of good manners in the school8 ,,lesson #c4 ,purpose4--,to show that regularity and punctuality of attendance at school are signs of good manners4 ,method4--,item to be read with or without comment1 or questions to be asked4 ,the ,lesson4 ,in all well-regulated schools1 teachers and school-officers place much stress upon regularity of attendance2 consequently an avoidable or inexcusable absence shows disrespect to school authority4 ,when a pupil enters a school-room late it interrupts and disturbs all who are present4 ,an avoidable interruption or disturbance is1 of course1 impolite4 ,any disregard of the rules of school shows a lack of respect for teachers and school-officers4 ,lack of respect and true politeness never go together4 ,questions4 ,what is the rule in this school relative to regularity of attendance8 ,what in reference to punctuality8 ,what absences or tardinesses show disrespect to school authority8 ,how does disrespectful conduct affect the manners8 ,to what kind of manners do regularity and punctuality tend8 ,,lesson #d4 ,purpose4--,to show that cleanliness is one sign of good manners in school4 ,method4--,item to be read with or without comment1 or questions to be asked4 ,the ,lesson4 ,cleanliness of person and tidiness of dress are unmistakable signs of good breeding4 ,the minutest detail of the toilet should be attended to4 ,frequent bathing and proper attentions to the hair1 the teeth1 the nails1 are of no slight importance4 ,the clothing also should be clean4 ,pupils who fail to observe these directions not only show lack of respect for themselves1 but for their teachers and school-mates4 ,disrespect is impoliteness4 ,questions4 ,what opinion do you form of a person who is untidy8 ,what details of the toilet may be neglected8 ,how does slovenliness of dress affect the reputation of one who indulges in it8 ,of what does untidiness show a lack8 ,is disrespectful treatment of another ever polite8 ,,lesson #e4 ,purpose4--,to show that care for school belongings is a sign of good breeding4 ,method4--,item to be read and questions asked4 ,the ,lesson4 ,proper respect for the school will deter pupils from throwing on school-grounds1 or on the steps of buildings1 or on the floors of the corridors or of the school-room1 whatever is unsightly4 ,the same may be said with reference to chalk or pencil marks1 or anything that defaces school-buildings or school furniture4 ,in stormy weather pupils should not enter a school-building without first cleaning the shoes or removing rubbers4 ,they should enter quietly and never be noisy or boisterous inside of a school-room4 ,running or jumping1 or stepping on the seats or desks1 is not allowable4 ,pupils should take care of what they use but do not own4 ,books or any materials furnished by the school should be carefully and economically used4 ,moreover1 if pupils are well-bred their own books will be devoid of finger-marks or cuts1 or of marks and soil of any kind except that which comes from constant use4 ,questions4 ,if pupils have the proper feeling for their school1 what care will they take of the grounds8 ,of the buildings8 ,of the furniture8 ,how show good breeding in economy8 ,what rule holds good in returning borrowed articles8 ,how should school-books be used even by their owners8 ,show how all these things are indicative of good breeding4 ,show how they are one step towards good citizenship4 ,,lesson #f4 ,purpose4--,to show how pupils should conduct themselves towards their teachers4 ,method4--,item to be read with or without comment4 ,the ,lesson4 #a4 ,when pupils are placed under the charge of a teacher it is supposed the teacher knows what is for their best good2 consequently a teacher's directions should be respected and obeyed4 ,in matters pertaining to conduct1 pupils should yield their opinions to that of a wise and faithful teacher1 and should do it with quick and cheerful obedience4 ,sulking1 contradiction1 or delay in obeying are not only wrong1 but inexcusably rude4 #b4 ,oftentimes pupils seem to regard it as no impoliteness to interrupt a teacher either by inattention1 disorder1 or questions1 when a lesson is in progress4 ,there are times when certain questions relative to lessons are in order1 but irrelevant questions1 or unnecessary requests1 or hand-raising or shaking before a teacher has finished speaking1 are just as impolite in a school-room as elsewhere4 ,there are1 of course1 certain usages peculiar to a school-room which would not be considered in order elsewhere1 because unnecessary2 but1 generally speaking1 good manners in a school-room and in a parlor are the same4 #c4 ,pupils should be kind and thoughtful in assisting teachers whenever it is possible1 by handing anything needed1 or by waiting upon them in any way4 ,boys1 especially1 should be quick to offer help in erasing blackboards1 in lifting heavy articles1 or in picking up anything accidentally dropped4 ,all pupils should help to put things in their proper places and to keep the school-room in order4 ,this is kindness and politeness4 #d4 ,boys should always take off their hats before entering a school-room1 and should not put them on at dismissal1 until they reach the outside door4 ,if a teacher should stand at that door1 hats should not be put on until the teacher is passed4 ,when boys meet a teacher in the street they should always raise their hats1 whether the teacher be a gentleman or a lady4 ,both in school and out1 when pupils speak to or of their teacher1 they should speak the real name1 and not use the indefinite title1 8,teacher40 ,,subjects ,,for ,,additional ,,lessons4 ,kind treatment of school-mates3 when they are under criticism2 when they are peculiar in dress1 speech1 or manner2 when they are unfortunate2 when they are strangers4 ,respectful treatment of the janitor4 ,respectful treatment of visitors4 ,respectful treatment of those who address the school4 ,,reminders4 #a4 ,do not fail to say 8,good-morning1 ,miss ----0 to your teacher1 and 8,good-afternoon ,miss ----0 when you leave her4 #b4 ,when you pass directly in front of your teacher1 say 8,excuse me40 #c4 ,never fail to say 8,thank you0 7not 8,thanks07 for the smallest favor4 #d4 ,do not continually raise the hand1 and never shake it in school1 to attract attention4 #e4 ,never stand at your desk1 or step forward raising your hand1 and shaking it at your teacher4 #f4 ,when a school-mate is reading or answering a question1 do not raise hands until he has finished4 #g4 ,do not 8fuss0 with pencils1 strings1 pins1 or anything else when you ought to give your whole attention to your lesson4 #h4 ,when your hands are not occupied with books or other things1 as directed by a teacher1 they should be clasped in your lap4 #i4 ,if you have a desk-mate1 give him his full share of seat1 desk1 and shelf4 #aj4 ,when you pass directly in front of your school-mates1 say 8,excuse me40 #aa4 ,do not stare at strangers who enter the school-room4 #ab4 ,do not slide down in your seat nor lounge in a school-room4 #ac4 ,when you stand to recite1 stand erect1 without leaning against the desk4 ,stand on both feet4 #ad4 ,do not swing the feet1 nor scrape them on the floor1 nor keep them in constant motion4 #ae4 ,always be provided with sponge or slate-cloth4 #af4 ,hand a book right side up4 #ag4 ,in handing a pointer1 pencil1 or pen1 hand the blunt end4 #ah4 ,never call from the outside to a pupil in a school-room4 #ai4 ,do not call from the school-room to some one outside4 #bj4 ,do not look in at windows of a school-room4 #ba4 ,always rap before entering any school-room but your own1 or any teacher's office4 #bb4 ,do not chew gum in school4 #bc4 ,do not eat in school4 ,note4--,when these 8reminders0 are given to young pupils they should be in the form of short lessons1 and the thought should be brought out by relating incidents and by questioning as in illustrative lessons4 ,chapter ,,xiv4 ,,personal ,,habits4 ,note4--,these directions1 although exceedingly important1 are not1 in many cases1 agreeable topics of conversation4 ,therefore1 in giving them1 teachers must use their good taste and discretion in deciding whether to give arbitrarily or not4 ,when they are given without comment they should be impressed on the memory of the child by calling for frequent repetitions of items1 and by patient and continued enforcement of directions1 whenever the occasion presents itself4 ,the connection between the direction and the spirit of kindness should be traced whenever it is possible to do so4 ,lessons on manners in school may be taken as a guide when it is thought best to enlarge upon any item4 ,whether or not a lesson be given to the younger children on the importance of attending to personal habits may be left to the discretion of a teacher4 ,,lesson #g4 ,purpose4--,to show the necessity of attention to personal habits4 ,method4--,an item read with or without comment4 ,the ,lesson4 ,although personal habits are not pleasant topics of conversation1 it seems necessary to give them some consideration4 ,many young people indulge in certain practices that are disagreeable and impolite1 perhaps not so much from lack of knowledge of what is proper as from thoughtlessness and from not appreciating the importance of giving these matters due attention4 ,young people should realize that these matters1 although seemingly trifling1 are sufficient to show whether they have been accustomed to polite society or not4 ,there is nothing which tells more quickly4 ,minute attention to personal habits gives one an air of refinement and attractiveness which can be gained in no other way4 ,,suggestions ,,for ,,instruction ,,relating ,,to ,,personal ,,habits4 #a4 ,whatever has been said in reference to cleanliness in school applies out of school as well4 ,cleanliness is a pretty certain sign of good breeding4 ,every consideration of health and good taste and refinement urges to cleanliness4 ,never think to hide uncleanliness4 ,if your habits are not neat1 it will be known4 #b4 ,never neglect the details of the toilet4 ,such toilet offices as cleaning the nails1 the ears1 the nose1 are proper only in the privacy of one's apartment4 ,the nails should not be bitten4 ,it destroys their beauty1 and is an impolite and unhealthy habit4 #c4 ,many people have a habit of continually feeling of the face or hair4 ,this is not a mark of refinement of manners1 and should not be indulged in4 8,fussing0 with anything1 twirling things1 drumming1 should be avoided4 ,when the hands are not necessarily employed1 they should be kept quiet4 #d4 ,the feet should not be kept constantly and unnecessarily in motion1 nor should they be brought into notice when possible to avoid it4 ,young ladies should not sit with the feet extended and crossed4 ,no one should sit with the feet on the rounds of a chair4 ,tapping on the floor with the foot is not in good form4 #e4 ,spitting is a disgusting habit4 ,avoid it whenever it is possible4 ,never give attention or refer to a sore on the face or hands when others are present4 ,yawning and stretching in company are considered rude4 ,hiccoughing and sneezing should be avoided1 if possible4 #f4 ,the mouth should be kept closed1 unless there is some good reason for opening it4 ,one who has a habit of keeping the mouth open continually is considered weak mentally1 if not physically4 #g4 ,incessant smiling or laughing is silly and disagreeable4 ,smiling or laughing is allowable when there is something to laugh at4 ,giggling is unpardonable4 ,hearty laughter is allowable in some places1 but boisterous laughter never4 ,as a general thing the countenance should be kept in repose4 ,this implies neither a silly nor a stern expression1 but one indicative of kindness and common sense4 #h4 ,a loud or otherwise disagreeable voice is not a mark of the best manners4 ,if such a voice is natural1 it may be trained and toned down as in singing4 ,a person of real refinement may have a peculiar voice1 but not a disagreeably loud one4 ,humming is disagreeable and impolite4 #i4 ,boys should not carry their hands in their pockets4 ,boys should not whistle when it will disturb or annoy any one4 ,chapter ,,xv4 ,,manners ,,in ,,public4 ,,lesson #h4 ,purpose4--,to specify some particulars of street manners4 ,method4--,item read with or without comment4 ,the ,lesson4 ,no polite person will indulge in loud or boisterous conduct on the street4 ,loud talk or laughter is very ill-mannered4 ,only a quiet demeanor is allowable1 and one who indulges in any other is guilty of rudeness4 ,a complaint often made against pupils is that they are inclined to be rude and selfish in not giving those whom they meet their due share of the walk in passing4 ,oftentimes boys in their play are so heedless as to jostle against those passing on the sidewalk4 ,this is selfish and rude4 ,if it happens accidentally1 suitable apologies should be made4 ,questions4--,in what tone of voice should one speak in the street8 ,what does loud laughter in the street indicate8 ,what demeanor is allowable8 ,what fault is found with the manners of pupils on the street8 ,what are your own observations in the matter8 ,what are your criticisms8 ,,suggestions ,,for ,,further ,,instruction4 ,in going to a place of amusement or entertainment it is not polite to performers or audience to arrive late4 ,arrive in season1 take your seat quietly1 and remain quiet and attentive throughout the whole entertainment4 ,if there is any delay before the entertainment begins1 the time should not be spent in loud laughing or talking4 ,nothing should be done to attract attention4 ,eating candy1 nuts1 or anything else at a place of entertainment is not in good form4 ,too much cannot be said against talking or whispering or moving about when an entertainment is in progress4 ,it shows either a lack of knowledge as to what is proper1 or a disregard of propriety4 ,it is also a rudeness to the performers1 and a great source of annoyance to those who wish to listen4 ,if the entertainment does not prove interesting1 it is still the part of a lady or gentleman to remain through it all and to give respectful attention4 ,it is very impolite to leave the place before the entertainment is concluded1 in order to avoid passing out with the crowd4 ,loud and long continued applause is impolite4 ,it is proper to show pleasure if the entertainment pleases1 but it must be done without boisterousness4 ,rapping on the floor with canes1 stamping of feet1 whistling1 etc41 are insults1 and if continued should receive the attention of a policeman4 ,it is a sign of good breeding to be in church before the service begins4 ,if unavoidably late1 enter very quietly1 between parts of the service4 ,never whisper or laugh in church4 ,it is irreverent and ill-bred4 ,never look around when people enter4 ,never be guilty of rudeness or boisterousness in a church1 whether on ,sunday or other days4 ,always show a proper respect for the place4 ,in your own church be polite to strangers4 ,if it seems to be your place to do so1 show them to a seat4 ,let no peculiarity of dress or manner on the part of strangers keep you from showing them any civility in church4 ,in attending a church not your own be respectful in your conduct4 ,do not show curiosity nor ridicule observances that may seem peculiar4 ,,reminders4 ,in giving these to the pupils seek to arouse discussion4 #a4 ,when walking on the sidewalk1 if you meet a person1 keep to the right of the walk4 8',tis a rule of the land that when travelers meet ,in high-way or by-way1 in alley or street1 ,on foot or in wagon1 by day or by night1 ,each favor the other and turn to the right40 #b4 ,it is polite to recognize friends and acquaintances on the street4 ,it is a custom of gentlemen to take off their hats when friends are met4 ,they should take off their hats to gentlemen as well as to ladies4 ,both boys and girls should show special respect to any old person they may meet4 ,the salutation should always be in a pleasant and friendly tone of voice4 ,the face should show respect to acquaintances1 and cordiality to friends4 ,the name should be added to the salutation1 as 8,good-morning1 ,mr4 ,a40 ,never give the salutation as if it were a question4 ,never greet any one by 8,halloa40 #c4 ,if a gentleman is walking or driving with a lady acquaintance1 he should take off his hat to any lady whom she recognizes4 #d4 ,when a lady accidentally drops anything in the street1 any gentleman near1 whether an acquaintance or not1 should pick it up and hand it to her4 ,the lady should not fail to acknowledge the courtesy4 ,as the gentleman passes on1 he should touch his hat to the lady4 ,this civility of picking up things or assisting in any way should be shown to elderly and infirm people by girls as well as by boys4 #e4 ,it is impolite to turn and look at people after they have passed4 ,it is rude to stare at them if peculiar in dress or manner4 ,special care should be taken not to stare at the deformed or unfortunate4 ,put yourself in their places and think how you would like to be treated4 #f4 ,it is considered impolite for people to gather in groups or crowds on the sidewalk and to obstruct the way4 ,if two people meet who wish to converse with each other1 one should turn and walk in the direction in which the other is going4 ,it is not considered proper to stop for conversation on the street4 #g4 ,it is not the custom of well-bred people to chew gum1 nor to eat fruit1 nuts1 or anything else1 on the street4 #h4 ,one of the rudest things a boy or girl can do is to call out to a teacher or other person on the street4 ,it is only the most ill-bred who will do it4 ,the law can punish for it4 #i4 ,if a stranger inquires the way1 take great pains to direct him1 even if it requires some effort4 #aj4 ,when in street cars or steam cars1 if seats are lacking1 it is the rule that gentlemen give up their seats to ladies4 ,ladies should not fail to thank gentlemen for this kindness4 ,whenever any attention is shown a lady1 such as opening or closing a window1 taking bundles from the racks1 etc41 the lady should politely acknowledge it1 and the gentleman should touch his hat as he turns away4 ,no one should occupy more room than is necessary1 if by so doing others are deprived of a seat4 ,chapter ,,xvi4 ,,table ,,manners4 ,,lesson #i4 ,purpose4--,to show the importance of good table manners4 ,method4--,an item read with or without comment or questions asked4 ,the ,lesson4 ,perhaps the question of how to eat is not of quite the importance as what to eat1 but in some particulars pertaining to the laws of health the two are of equal rank4 ,how to eat is of much more importance than many young people think1 inasmuch as it is a certain test of delicacy and refinement4 ,if a person eats immoderately fast1 no one truly refined will set him down as a gentleman4 ,if one defies the regulations which society has made relative to table manners1 he is classed as decidedly ill-bred or ignorant4 ,it is well to study the etiquette of the table1 and to put in use those practices that have been decided by the best society as being proper4 ,questions4--,should the rules of society as to table manners be disregarded8 ,what does a lack of good table manners indicate8 ,are table manners indicative of character8 ,,subjects ,,for ,,additional ,,lessons4 ,deference to the ,lady of the ,house at ,table4 ,suggestions4--,do not be late at the home table4 ,never be late when a guest4 ,do not take your seat at the table until the lady of the house takes hers1 nor rise from the table until she gives the signal4 ,if necessary to leave the table before the meal is over1 ask to be excused of the one presiding4 ,polite ,phraseology of the ,table4 ,suggestions4--,when it is desired that any article on the table be passed1 a servant should be asked1 if there is one near4 ,if not1 the request should be made of some one at the table1 as follows3 8,please pass the bread10 8,i would thank you for the bread10 8,will you be kind enough to pass the bread80 etc4 ,when offered anything at the table1 the acceptance should be accompanied by 8,thank you40 ,if anything is declined1 it should be with 8,no1 ,i thank you10 or 8,not any1 ,i thank you40 ,selfishness at ,table4 ,suggestions4--,to take the best when there is any choice in the food is to show a very selfish disposition4 ,this does not apply when urged to do so1 but to seem to wish the best is inexcusable4 ,,reminders4 #a4 ,sit reasonably near the table1 neither too near nor too far away4 ,never place the elbows on the table4 ,do not sit so far away as to be obliged to lean forward4 ,do not bend over the plate4 ,do not spread the elbows when cutting meat1 etc4 #b4 ,young people should wait patiently and quietly until the older ones at table have been served4 ,while waiting to be served1 the knife or fork or napkin ring1 or any other table article1 should be left untouched4 ,the hands should be quietly folded in the lap until one is served4 ,the napkin may be spread over the lap when one first sits down at the table4 ,gentlemen do not now tuck the napkin under the chin4 #c4 ,it is proper to begin eating as soon as served1 although there should be no indecorous haste4 ,an exception to this rule is that no one should begin to eat the dessert until all are served4 #d4 ,do not help yourself first to anything on the table4 ,never put your own knife1 fork1 or spoon into the food except as it has been served to you4 ,it is rude to reach across the table or to rise and reach in order to help yourself4 ,if servants are not near1 ask politely of some one at the table that the dish be passed4 #e4 ,rapid eating is impolite and unhealthy4 ,the mouth should not be filled too full1 and the food should be thoroughly chewed4 ,do not chew the food so as to be heard4 ,do not smack the lips in eating4 ,do not draw in the breath when eating soup1 drinking milk1 tea1 etc4 ,be careful not to show the food in your mouth4 ,do not attempt to eat the last drop of soup nor the last morsel of food on the plate4 #f4 ,the knife is used in cutting up the food1 but it should not convey the food to the mouth4 ,the fork should be used for this purpose4 ,there is a proper way of holding knife and fork which can best be learned by observing some one who does it properly4 ,soup should be eaten from the side of the spoon4 #g4 ,when drinking tea or coffee1 drink from the cup and not from the saucer4 ,when drinking from a goblet or tumbler1 be careful not to tip them too much4 ,it is not in good form to throw the head back and invert the tumbler4 ,it is not well to drink much water while eating4 #h4 ,if necessary to eject anything from the mouth while eating1 use the fork in conveying it from the mouth to the plate4 ,fruit stones may be removed with the fingers and placed upon the plate4 #i4 ,when salt is taken from the salt-cellar1 it should be put on the plate and not on the table-cloth4 ,vegetables should be eaten with a fork1 if possible1 rather than with a spoon4 ,when small dishes are used in serving vegetables1 fruit1 etc41 they should not be taken in the hand1 but left on the table4 #aj4 ,it is a disputed question what to do with the knife and fork when the plate is passed for a second supply4 ,it seems the better plan not to leave them on the plate1 as they are liable to fall off or to be in the way1 but to hold them in the right hand1 or to place them on the table in such a manner as not to soil the cloth4 #aa4 ,do not use a tooth-pick in public4 ,it is a common practice1 but not with the best-bred people4 ,never indulge in the disgusting practice of removing bits of food from the teeth with the tongue or fingers4 ,the teeth should receive attention in private4 ,chapter ,,xvii4 ,,manners ,,in ,,society4 ,,suggestions ,,for ,,lessons4 #a4 ,when a request is to be made1 no matter how slight1 it should be given in the form of a request and not of a command4 ,such expressions as 8,please0 and 8,will you be so kind80 should be very frequently used4 ,when a request has been complied with1 8,thank you0 should never be forgotten4 #b4 ,gentlemen should not remain seated when there are ladies or older people standing in the room4 ,no young people should remain seated when by so doing they oblige older people to stand4 ,young people should not occupy the easiest chairs nor the most comfortable places in a room when older people are present4 #c4 ,whispering in company is ill-mannered4 ,laughing at something not understood by the whole company1 or at least by all who would notice the laughing1 is very impolite4 ,exchanging glances or meaning smiles is rude4 ,boisterous laughter is always rude4 #d4 ,if asked to sing or play or to contribute in any legitimate way to the entertainment of company1 one should1 if possible1 comply with the request without waiting to be urged4 ,when one is trying to entertain a company1 the company should give respectful attention1 never annoying the performer by whispering or talking or moving about4 ,when games are proposed1 unless there is some reason for not doing so1 every one who is invited to join in them should do so with right good will4 ,good manners are based on kindness1 and a kind heart will lead any one to contribute as much as possible to the enjoyment of all4 #e4 ,one should give respectful and kindly attention to another who is talking to him4 ,no matter if the conversation is not of great interest1 it should be listened to without interruption4 ,this is especially true when elderly people talk to those younger4 ,when it is necessary to discontinue the conversation1 one should ask to be excused4 ,when two people begin to talk at the same time1 each should be ready with an 8,excuse me10 or 8,i beg pardon10 to yield the privilege of speaking first to the other4 #f4 ,it is a mark of good manners to show courtesy to servants or to any in humble stations in life4 ,a polite request is always better than a stern command4 ,whoever shows disregard of the feelings of a servant or one in humble station1 gives unmistakable proof of ill-breeding4 #g4 ,it is courteous to commend what is commendable4 ,one should take pains to express commendation in words to the one who deserves it4 ,this is really no more than common politeness4 ,many find it easy to speak words of blame1 but do not seem to think what gratification a word of deserved praise affords4 ,,reminders4 #a4 ,when asked a question to be answered by ,yes or ,no it is considered more polite to say 8,yes1 ,mrs4 ,a40 than 8,yes1 ma'am40 8,yes1 sir0 and 8,no1 sir0 are allowable1 but 8,yes1 ,mr4 ,a40 is better4 ,when something is said1 and the one to whom it is said does not hear or understand1 the following questions are proper3 8,sir80 8,i beg pardon10 8,what did you say1 ,mrs4 ,a480 ,when a person's name is spoken before a question is asked1 the response should be 8,sir80 or 8,yes1 ,mrs4 ,a480 #b4 ,when entering a private house gentlemen should remove their hats4 ,any one should remove rubbers4 ,umbrella1 hat1 overcoat1 or waterproof should be left in the hall4 #c4 ,in entering a parlor1 host and hostess should be first sought out and spoken to4 ,if the family only be present1 the one entering may properly shake hands with all4 ,this is partly a matter of choice1 but if it is either a formal or an informal call 7not a business call7 it is highly proper4 ,when the company is large1 it is unnecessary4 ,the same direction applies in leaving4 #d4 ,when in company or when making a call1 lounging or rocking should not be indulged in4 ,sitting with the chair tipped in any way1 or with the feet on the rounds of the chair1 is not allowable4 ,ladies should not sit with the feet or knees crossed4 ,gentlemen should not sit with the feet elevated4 ,the feet should remain on the floor1 and should be as inconspicuous as possible4 ,no one should sit with the feet far apart4 #e4 ,fumbling or fussing with the watch-chain or with a ribbon or anything else should be avoided2 also drumming with the fingers or twirling things4 ,when the hands are not necessarily occupied they should be kept quiet4 ,the same may be said of the feet4 ,swinging the feet or keeping them in motion or prominently in sight is not proper4 ,constant and unnecessary motion of hands or feet gives one an appearance of restlessness which is not at all conducive to elegance of manner4 ,repose of manner should be cultivated4 #f4 ,avoid passing directly in front of people when possible4 ,it is better1 however1 to pass in front of others with a 8,pardon me10 or 8,excuse me10 than to crowd behind them4 ,a gentleman should allow a lady to pass through a door before him1 holding it open for her1 if necessary4 ,gentlemen should go up-stairs before a lady1 and behind her in coming down4 #g4 ,it is rude to stare at people in company1 especially if they are peculiar in any way4 ,seem not to notice any deformity or any peculiarity of dress or manner4 ,remember the ,golden ,rule4 #h4 ,demonstrations of affection are out of place in company or anywhere else in public4 ,girls should not sit or walk with their arms about each other1 or clasp hands1 or lean against each other4 ,a gushing manner is silly and impolite4 #i4 ,reading to one's self in company is not excusable4 ,reading aloud is still worse1 unless by special request4 #aj4 ,when strangers are to be presented to each other1 the directions are as follows3 ,gentlemen should be presented to ladies 7as1 ,miss ,b41 allow me to present ,mr4 ,c471 young men to elderly men1 young women to elderly women4 ,people who have been introduced should make some conversation with each other1 and not turn rudely away without a word4 #aa4 ,when people make calls they should inquire at the door for those whom they wish to see4 ,they should also send in their names if unknown to the one who comes to the door4 ,when callers enter a room1 persons in the room not inquired for should soon leave4 ,no member of the family should enter the room when one is receiving calls unless it is very necessary1 and then an apology should be offered4 ,chapter ,,xviii4 ,,miscellaneous ,,items4 #a4 ,never enter a private room without rapping4 ,never look over a person's shoulder when he is reading or writing4 ,never read what is designed for another person only4 ,be courteous in thought as well as in act4 #b4 ,take good care of borrowed articles1 and return them in reasonable time4 ,never lend borrowed articles4 ,it is proper for the one who borrows to return the article in person or to send by a servant4 ,to compel the owner to send for his property is a gross violation of good manners4 #c4 ,when necessary to make an inquiry of a stranger it should be prefaced with 8,excuse me10 8,pardon me10 or 8,will you kindly tell me80 #d4 ,in extending invitations for visits or parties it is proper to state the time definitely4 ,punctuality in keeping all engagements is a mark of good breeding in society as well as in business4 #e4 ,when gentlemen are walking with ladies it is a proper courtesy to offer to relieve them of their parcels1 parasols1 shawls1 etc4 #f4 ,when gifts or favors have been received1 prompt acknowledgment should be made4 ,the slightest favor deserves acknowledgment4 ,,suggestive ,,stories1 ,,anecdotes1 ,,fables1 ,,and ,,poems4 #a4 ,,little ,,jack4 ,there was one little ,jack1 not very long back1 ,and 'tis said to his lasting disgrace ,that he never was seen with his hands at all clean1 ,nor yet ever clean was his face4 ,his friends were much hurt to see so much dirt1 ,and often and well did they scour6 ,but all was in vain1 he was dirty again ,before they had done it an hour4 ,when to wash he was sent1 he reluctantly went ,with water to splash himself o'er1 ,but he left the black streaks all over his cheeks1 ,and made them look worse than before4 ,the pigs in the dirt couldn't be more expert ,than he was at grubbing about2 ,and the people have thought the gentleman ought ,to be made with four legs and a snout4 ,the idle and bad may1 like to this lad1 ,be dirty and black1 to be sure2 ,but good boys are seen to be decent and clean1 ,altho' they are ever so poor4 --,jane ,taylor4 #b4 ,,the ,,boy ,,and ,,the ,,sparrows4 ,a boy once found a nest of young sparrows1 and put them into his hat4 ,he then set the hat on his head1 thinking no one would know what was under it4 ,as he walked through the streets1 instead of lifting his hat to bow to people1 he held it fast upon his head4 ,this made everybody wonder4 ,at last one man said1 8,let me see if his hat has grown to his head40 ,away went the sparrows1 as he lifted the hat from the boy's head4 ,everybody laughed2 and now if a boy does not lift his hat when he meets any one1 people say1 8,perhaps he has sparrows under his hat40--,selected4 #c4 ,,the ,,unhappy ,,boy4 ,once there was a king who had a little boy whom he loved4 ,he gave him beautiful rooms to live in1 and pictures and toys and books4 ,he gave him a pony to ride1 and a row-boat on a lake1 and servants4 ,but for all this the young prince was not happy4 ,he wore a frown wherever he went1 and was always wishing for something he did not have4 ,at length a magician came to court4 ,he said to the king1 8,i can make your son happy40 ,so he took the boy into a private room and wrote something on a piece of paper4 ,next he gave the boy a candle and told him to light it and hold it under the paper and see what he could read4 ,the boy did as he had been told1 and white letters on the paper turned into a beautiful blue4 ,they formed these words3-- ,do a kindness to some one every day4 ,the prince made use of the secret and became the happiest boy in the kingdom4--,selected4 #d4 ,,which ,,was ,,the ,,gentleman8 ,master ,frank ,amory went to the picnic1 and so did ,jimmy ,bell4 ,frank's father was a rich man4 ,jimmy's father was a day-laborer4 ,frank wore handsome new clothes1 and ,jimmy's knees and elbows were patched1 his hat was torn1 and he had no shoes4 ,there was only one barrel of ice-water1 with one drinking-cup2 and as it was a hot day there was a crowd around the barrel most of the time4 ,a half dozen girls had just come to get a drink when ,frank at the head of a file of boys came running up1 and snatching the cup rudely began to drink4 8,shame on you1 ,frank60 said one of the girls4 8,don't you know you always ought to let girls drink first80 8,i don't know as girls are any better than ,i am10 said ,frank1 as he started off again4 ,not long after1 ,jimmy and some other boys had come to the barrel1 when shy little ,minnie ,carey came up4 8,wait boys60 said ,jimmy1 dipping out a cup of water4 8,let ,minnie drink first40 ,and he very politely handed her the cup4 ,minnie drank1 and thanked him as she handed it back again4--,selected4 #e4 ,,the ,,elder ,,brother4 ,the sun was set4 ,the twilight dim had gathered1 ,and 'gainst the window-pane ,the fierce north wind sent sudden spiteful flurries ,of mingled sleet and rain4 ,my easy-chair was drawn before the fire1 ,benny was on my knee1 ,when low he whispered1 8,i don't see1 ,aunt ,dolly1 ,when folks are small like me1 8,how they get on without a nice big brother4 ,why1 even ,tommie ,stead-- ,who bullies all my mates--don't dare touch me2 ,he's afraid1 you see1 of ,ned40 ,just then he shyly pointed o'er his shoulder ,with such a proud1 fond look ,at his tall brother ,edward sitting near us1 ,intent upon a book4 8,he carries the umbrella when 'tis raining1 ,and gives the most to me2 ,and helps me find the very far off places ,in the geography1 8,and #8splains' the sums and makes the fractions easy40 ,here ,benny heaved a sigh4 8,i don't like riffemtic2 but ,ned says1 #8,benny1 ,be brave1 my lad1 and try4'0 8,he has long patience1 and he's very clever4 ,why1 once he made a cart1 ,and once he made a trap that caught a sparrow1 ,and 'cause it hurt my heart 8,to see the wild thing flutter1 he soon freed it1 ,and smiled when off it fled2 ,and when ,i'm scared because it's dark or lightens1 ,he takes me in his bed4 8,our pastor said1 last ,sunday1 that ,lord ,jesus ,up in the heavenly host1 ,our elder brother is4 ,it made me love him ,like my dear ,ned--a'most40 ,the blue eyes closed4 ,perhaps the gentle sandman ,had touched the golden head2 ,for low it drooped4 ,but smiles still curved the sweet lips2 ,he dreamed1 perhaps1 of 8,ned40 --,elisabeth ,cumings4 #f4 ,,the ,,gnat ,,and ,,the ,,bull4 ,a gnat who had flown about until he was tired sat down to rest on the horn of a bull4 ,after sitting there a long time he thought he would go home4 ,so he made a loud buzzing noise and said to the bull3 8,would you like to have me stay longer or shall ,i go now80 8,just as you please10 said the bull4 8,i did not know when you came1 and ,i am sure ,i shall not miss you when you go away40 ,little people often think themselves of greatest consequence4 --sop4 #g4 ,a ,,real ,,lady4 ,a porter1 an aged man1 was passing along one of our streets with a heavy package on his shoulder1 when he dropped his bale-hook and it rolled off the sidewalk into the gutter4 ,two or three young men standing near laughed at his misfortune1 and offered no help4 ,an elegantly dressed lady passing1 quietly stepped into the street1 and with her delicately gloved hand picked the bale-hook from the gutter and handed it to the old man4 ,in trying to thank her1 his hat fell off and rolled into the gutter4 ,again she stepped into the street1 picked up his hat1 and handed that to him4 8,god bless you10 said he1 and so the old man was made happier1 the lady was made happier1 and the young men received a lesson which may make their lives happier1 if they have sense enough to act upon it4--,selected4 #h4 ,,cautions4 ,if you your lips would keep from slips1 ,five things observe with care3-- ,to whom you speak1 of whom you speak1 ,and how1 and when1 and where4 ,if you your ears would keep from jeers1 ,these things keep meekly hid1-- ,myself and ,i1 and mine and my1 ,and how ,i do or did4 #i4 ,,letters ,,of ,,recommendation4 ,a gentleman advertised for a boy1 and nearly fifty applicants presented themselves4 ,out of that number he selected one and dismissed the rest4 8,i should like to know10 said a friend1 8on what ground you selected that boy1 who had not a single recommendation40 8,you are mistaken10 said the gentleman4 8,he has a great many4 ,he wiped his feet when he came in1 and closed the door after him1 showing that he was careful4 ,he gave his seat instantly to that lame old man1 showing that he was thoughtful4 ,he took off his cap when he came in1 and answered my questions promptly1 showing that he was gentlemanly4 ,he picked up a book which ,i had purposely placed on the floor1 and replaced it on the table2 and he waited quietly for his turn instead of pushing and crowding1 showing he was orderly and honorable4 ,when ,i talked to him1 ,i noticed that his clothes were brushed1 his hair in order4 ,when he wrote his name1 ,i noticed that his finger-nails were clean4 ,don't you call these things letters of recommendation80--,selected4 #aj4 ,a ,,gentlemanly ,,lad4 ,my idea of a gentlemanly boy is a lad who treats every young woman as he would like his sister to be treated1 and every older woman as he would wish his mother to be treated4--,selected4 #aa4 ,a ,,series ,,of ,,don',,ts4 ,don't slight a boy because his home is plain and unpretending4 ,abraham ,lincoln's home was a log-cabin4 ,don't slight a boy because of the ignorance of his parents4 ,shakespeare1 the world's poet1 was the son of a man who was unable to write his own name4 ,don't slight a boy because he chooses a humble trade4 ,the author of ,pilgrim's ,progress was a tinker4 ,don't slight a boy because of physical disability4 ,milton was blind4 ,don't slight a boy because of dullness in his lessons4 ,hogarth1 the celebrated painter and engraver1 was a stupid boy at his books4 ,don't slight any one4 ,not alone because some day they may far outstrip you in the race of life1 but because it is neither right1 nor kind1 nor polite4--,selected4 #ab4 ,,family ,,intercourse4 ,family intimacy should never make brothers and sisters forget to be polite and sympathizing to each other4 ,those who contract thoughtless and rude habits towards members of their own families will be rude and thoughtless towards all the world4 ,but let the family intercourse be true1 tender1 and affectionate1 and the manners of all uniformly gentle and considerate1 and the members of a family thus trained will carry into the world and society the habits of their childhood4 ,they will require in their associates similar habits4--,silvio ,pellico4 #ac4 ,,the ,,drum ,,and ,,the ,,vase ,,of ,,sweet ,,herbs4 ,a drum was once boasting to a vase of sweet herbs in this way3 8,listen to me6 ,my voice is loud and can be heard far off4 ,i stir the hearts of men so that when they hear my bold rearing they march out bravely to battle40 ,the vase spoke no words1 but gave out a fine1 sweet perfume that filled the air1 and seemed to say3 ,i cannot speak1 and it is not well to be proud1 but ,i am full of good things that are hidden within me1 and that gladly come forth to give cheer and comfort4 ,but you1 you have nothing in you but noise1 and you must be struck to make you give that out4 ,i would not boast if ,i were you4--sop4 #ad4 ,,love4 ,the night has a thousand eyes1 ,and the day but one2 ,yet the light of the bright world dies ,with the dying sun4 ,the mind has a thousand eyes1 ,and the heart but one2 ,yet the light of a whole life dies ,when love is done4 --,f4 ,w4 ,bourdillon4 #ae4 ,,treatment ,,of ,,the ,,aged4 ,a play was to be performed at the principal theatre of ,athens1 and the seats were soon taken4 ,when the theatre was full1 an old man came in and looked around for a seat4 ,he saw a party of young ,athenians beckoning to him4 ,in order to get to them he had to climb over seats and push his way through the crowd1 and when at last he reached them1 they sat down1 and1 instead of giving him the seat he had expected1 took up all the room1 leaving the old man standing4 ,in this theatre were some seats fitted up for strangers4 ,these were filled by young ,spartans1 who were much displeased at the conduct of the ,athenians1 and beckoned to the old man to come to them4 ,when he was near them1 they all arose and received him with great respect4 ,as the whole assembly saw this they burst into a shout of applause4 ,the old man then said1 8,the ,athenians know what is right1 but the ,spartans practise it40--,selected4 #af4 ,,civility ,,to ,,strangers4 ,it was through his civility to two strangers that ,mr4 ,winans of ,philadelphia is said to have obtained1 some years ago1 his invitation to go to ,st4 ,petersburg and manufacture locomotives for the ,russian ,czar4 ,the ,russian agent had been shown with indifference through the larger establishments of ,philadelphia1 but on their coming to ,mr4 ,winans1 who owned a third or fourth rate factory1 he took so much pains to show all its parts and workings1 and was so patient in his explanations and answers to their inquiries1 that within a year he was surprised when asked to transfer his works to ,russia4 ,he went1 and accumulated a large fortune4 #ag4 ,a ,,good ,,rule4 ,when you rise in the morning1 form the resolution to make the day a happy one to a fellow-creature4 ,it is easily done3 a left-off garment to the man who needs it2 a kind word to the sorrowful2 an encouraging word to the striving2 trifles1 in themselves as light as air1 will do at least for the twenty-four hours4 ,and if you are old1 rest assured it will send you gently and happily down the stream of time to eternity4 ,by the most simple arithmetical sum look at the result4 ,if you send only one person happily through the day1 that is three hundred and sixty-five in the course of a year4 ,and suppose you live forty years after you begin that course1 you have made fourteen thousand six hundred persons happy1 at all events1 for a time4 #ah4 ,,character4 ,nothing can compensate for the lack of manliness in a man1 and womanliness in a woman4 ,the man may be a capable business man1 an eloquent speaker1 and accomplished scholar2 but if he lacks manliness1 he remains only half a man4 ,the woman may be intelligent1 accomplished1 refined2 but if she lacks womanliness1 she lacks everything4 ,in some of the ,old-,world universities there are courses in 8,humanity40 ,it is a pity that the teaching of humanity in the wider sense of that which makes man man1 and woman woman1 does not occupy a larger place in the catalogues of our schools and colleges4--,dr4 ,trumbull4 #ai4 ,,honor4 ,mr4 ,smiles in one of his admirable books says that ,wellington was once offered half a million for a ,state secret1 not of any special value to the government1 but the keeping of which was a matter of honor4 8,it appears you are capable of keeping a secret10 he said to the official4 8,certainly10 he replied4 8,and so am ,i10 said the general1 and bowed him out4 #bj4 ,,consideration ,,for ,,others4 ,sir ,ralph ,abercrombie1 when mortally wounded1 found under his head the blanket of a private soldier1 placed there to ease his dying pains4 8,whose blanket is this80 8,duncan ,roy's40 8,see that ,duncan ,roy gets his blanket this very night10 said ,sir ,ralph1 and died without its comfort4 #ba4 ,,truthfulness4 ,calvert says1 8,a gentleman may brush his own shoes or clothes1 or mend or make them1 or roughen his hands with the helve1 or foul them with dye-work or iron-work2 but he must not foul his mouth with a lie40 #bb4 ,,delicacy4 ,the gentleman never sees deformity4 ,he will not talk to a beggar of his rags1 nor boast of his health before the sick1 nor speak of his wealth amongst the poor2 he will not seem to be fortunate amongst the hapless1 nor make any show of his virtues before the vicious4--,t4 ,t4 ,munger4 ,memory ,gems4 #a4 ,hearts like doors can open with ease ,to very1 very little keys2 ,and ne'er forget that they are these3 8,i thank you1 sir10 and 8,if you please40 #b4 ,good boys and girls should never say1 8,i will10 and 8,give me these40 ,oh1 no1 that never is the way1 ,but 8,mother1 if you please40 #c4 ,to do to others as ,i would ,that they should do to me ,will make me honest1 kind1 and good1 ,as children ought to be4 #d4 ,i know a little girl1 and who she is ,i'll tell you by-and-by2 ,when mother says1 8,do this0 or 8that10 ,she says1 8,what for80 and 8,why80 ,she'd be a better girl by far1 ,if she would say1 8,i'll try40 #e4 ,be kind1 little children1 ,to those who are poor1 ,and ne'er against sorrow ,and want shut the door4 #f4 ,see1 mamma1 'tis half-past eight2 ,i must haste1 or ,i'll be late4 ,teacher says1 8,make this your rule1 ,never to be late at school40 #g4 ,a little child may have a loving heart1 ,most dear and sweet1 ,and willing feet4 ,a little child may have a happy hand1 ,full of kind deeds ,for many needs4 ,a little child may have a gentle voice ,and pleasant tongue ,for every one4 #h4 ,be kind and be gentle ,to those who are old1 ,for dearer is kindness1 ,and better1 than gold4 #i4 ,true politeness consists in making every one happy about us4 #aj4 ,deal with another as you'd have ,another deal with you2 ,what you're unwilling to receive ,be sure you never do4 #aa4 ,good manners cannot be put on at pleasure1 like an outside coat1 but must belong to us4 #ab4 ,children1 do you love each other8 ,are you always kind and true8 ,do you always do to others ,as you'd have them do to you8 ,are you gentle to each other8 ,are you careful day by day ,not to give offence by action1 ,or by anything you say8 #ac4 ,in the school-room while we stay1 ,there is work enough to do2 ,study1 study through the day1 ,keep our lessons all in view4 #ad4 ,by-and-,by1 is a very bad boy1 ,shun him at once and forever2 ,for they who travel with ,by-and-,by ,soon come to the house of ,never4 #ae4 ,five minutes late1 and the school is begun4 ,what are rules for if you break every one8 ,just as the scholars are seated and quiet1 ,you hurry in with disturbance and riot4 ,why did you loiter so long by the way8 ,all of the classes are formed for the day4 ,hurry and pick up your reader and slate2 ,room at the foot for the scholar that's late4 --,mrs4 ,m4 ,l4 ,rayne4 #af4 ,give a boy address and accomplishments1 and you give him the mastery of palaces and fortunes1 wherever he goes4--,emerson4 #ag4 ,good manners are made up of petty sacrifices4--,emerson4 #ah4 ,true courtesy is real kindness kindly expressed4--,dr4 ,witherspoon4 #ai4 ,love as brethren1 be pitiful1 be courteous4--,st4 ,paul4 #bj4 ,the gentleman never sees deformity4--,munger4 #ba4 ,sidney1 at the battle of ,zutphen1 handed a cup of water for which he longed with dying thirst to the wounded soldier beside him1 and said3 8,he needs it more than ,i40 #bb4 ,if one is centrally true1 kind1 honorable1 delicate1 and considerate1 he will almost1 without fail1 have manners that will take him into any circle where culture and taste prevail over folly4--,munger4 #bc4 ,a beautiful behavior is the finest of the fine arts4--,emerson4 ,,transcriber',s ,,note ,obvious typographical errors and punctuation errors have been corrected after careful comparison with other occurrences within the text and consultation of external sources4 ,except for those changes noted below1 all misspellings in the text1 and inconsistent or archaic usage1 have been retained4 ,for example1 table-manners1 table manners2 playground1 play-ground2 monitorship2 contrariwise4 ,table of ,contents3 ,pg #g1 ,missing entry #8,practical training in manners 444 #ah' inserted4 ,pg #h1 #8treatment of schoolmates' replaced by #8treatment of school-mates'4 ,pg #h1 ,numbering #a-d inserted for the four entries listed for page #dc4 ,pg #i1 #8,subjects suggested 444 #dg' replaced by #88,keys0 suggested 444 #dg'4 ,pg #i1 ,missing entry #8,subjects for additional lessons' inserted1 and the three subject items also inserted below it1 all for page #di4 ,pg #i1 page number #8#ee' added to line ending #8444 who make inquiries1'4 ,pg #aj1 ,missing entry #8,subjects for ,additional ,lessons for ,both ,grades4' inserted and the two subject items also inserted below it1 both for page #fc4 ,pg #aa1 #8,practical training in manners1 #ij' replaced by #8,miscellaneous items1 #ij'4 ,main text3 ,pg #d1 #8courtesy employes' replaced by #8courtesy employs'4 ,pg #e1 #8good breading' replaced by #8good breeding'4 ,pg #bd1 #8happpened to see' replaced by #8happened to see'4 ,pg #bd1 #8,note4' has been italicized for consistency4 ,pg #bh1 #8he was empoyled' replaced by #8he was employed'4 ,pg #bh1 #8gave you chair' replaced by #8gave your chair'4 ,pg #dj1 #8sigh of good' replaced by #8sign of good'4 ,pg #di1 #8#cbj4' at the end of a paragraph has been retained4 ,the meaning is not clear4 ,pg #di1 #8,additional ,lesssons' replaced by #8,additional ,lessons'4 ,pg #ej1 #8#ajh4' at the end of a paragraph has been retained4 ,the meaning is not clear4 ,pg #ef1 #8show the necesssity' replaced by #8show the necessity'4 ,pg #fc1 #8,bur first you' replaced by #8,but first you'4 ,pg #fh1 #8propor attentions' replaced by #8proper attentions'4 ,pg #hg1 #8it is considred' replaced by #8it is considered'4 ,pg #hi1 #8names if unkown' replaced by #8names if unknown'4 ,pg #ajj1 #8rest assurred' replaced by #8rest assured'4