,illustration3 ,boxall delt4 ,c4 ,marr sculpt4 ,,st4 ,,leon1 8,i took her hand and by my caresses endeavoured to soothe and compose her40 ,page #fe4 ,london1 ,published by ,henry ,colburn ,richard ,bentley1 #ahca4 ,,st4 ,,leon1 ,,by ,,william ,,godwin4 ,illustration3 ,he put his hand to the wound2 the ,animal stirred not4 ,page #bgc4 ,,london4 ,,colburn ,,and ,,bentley1 ,,new ,,burlington ,,street4 #ahca4 ,,st4 ,,leon3 ,a ,,tale ,,of ,,the ,,sixteenth ,,century4 ,,by ,,william ,,godwin4 ,ferdinand ,mendez ,pinto was but a type of thee1 thou liar of the first magnitude4 ,,congreve4 ,,london3 ,,henry ,,colburn ,,and ,,richard ,,bentley1 ,,new ,,burlington ,,street2 ,,bell ,,and ,,bradfute1 ,,edinburgh ,,and ,,cumming1 ,,dublin4 #ahca4 ,,london3 ,printed by ,a4 ,r4 ,spottiswoode1 ,new-,street-,square4 ,,advertisement4 ,the ,publishers of the ,collection of 8,,standard ,,novels0 are extremely desirous that ,i should furnish them with a few lines1 by way of introduction to the appearance of ,,st4 ,,leon in its present form4 ,i am however at a loss how to oblige them4 ,in the original ,preface ,i frankly stated the sources upon which ,i had drawn for the idea and conduct of the work4 ,i have therefore no remarks to offer1 but these which follow3-- ,in #agid ,i produced the novel of ,caleb ,williams4 ,i believed myself fortunate in the selection ,i had made of the ground-plot of that work4 ,an atrocious crime committed by a man previously of the most exemplary habits1 the annoyance he suffers from the immeasurable and ever-wakeful curiosity of a raw youth who is placed about his person1 the state of doubt in which the reader might for a time be as to the truth of the charges1 and the consequences growing out of these causes1 seemed to me to afford scope for a narrative of no common interest4 ,i was not disappointed4 ,caleb ,williams was honoured with the public favour4 ,the consequence was that ,i was solicited to try my hand again in a work of fiction4 ,i hesitated long4 ,i despaired of finding again a topic so rich of interest and passion4 ,in those days it was deemed a most daring thought to attempt to write a novel1 with the hope that it might hereafter rank among the classics of a language4 ,the most successful ,english writers in that province of literature had scarcely gone beyond three4 ,it had not then been conceived that the same author might produce twenty or thirty1 at the rate of two or three per annum1 and might still at least retain his hold upon the partiality of his contemporaries4 ,to ,sir ,walter ,scott we are indebted for this discovery4 ,at length1 after having passed some years in a state of diffidence and irresolution1 ,i ventured on the task4 ,it struck me that if ,i could 8mix human feelings and passions with incredible situations10 ,i might thus attain a sort of novelty that would conciliate the patience1 at least1 even of some of the severest judges4 ,to this way of thinking ,,st4 ,,leon was indebted for a 8local habitation1 and a name40 ,one of my most valued friends ,mr4 ,northcote has often told me1 that the public may sometimes be interested in the perusal of a book1 but that they never give themselves any trouble about the author4 ,he therefore kindly advised me on no occasion to say any thing in print about myself4 ,the present race of readers seem scarcely disposed to verify this maxim4 ,they are understood to be desirous to learn something of the peculiarities1 the 8life1 character1 and behaviour10 of an author1 before they consign him to the gulph of oblivion1 and are willing to learn from his own testimony what train of thoughts induced him to adopt the particular subject and plan of the work1 upon the perusal of which they are engaged4 ,june1 #ahca4 ,,preface4 ,the following passage from a work1 said to be written by the late ,dr4 ,john ,campbel1 and entitled ,hermippus ,redivivus1 suggested the first hint of the present performance3-- 8,there happened in the year #afhg1 an odd accident at ,venice1 that made a very great stir then1 and which ,i think deserves to be rescued from oblivion4 ,the great freedom and ease with which all persons1 who make a good appearance1 live in that city1 is known sufficiently to all who are acquainted with it2 such will not therefore be surprised1 that a stranger1 who went by the name of signor ,gualdi1 and who made a considerable figure there1 was admitted into the best company1 though nobody knew who or what he was4 ,he remained at ,venice for some months2 and three things were remarked in his conduct4 ,the first was1 that he had a small collection of fine pictures1 which he readily showed to any body that desired it2 the next1 that he was perfectly versed in all arts and sciences1 and spoke on every subject with such readiness and sagacity1 as astonished all who heard him2 and it was1 in the third place1 observed1 that he never wrote or received any letter1 never desired any credit1 or made use of bills of exchange1 but paid for every thing in ready money and lived decently1 though not in splendour4 8,this gentleman met one day at the coffee-house with a ,venetian nobleman1 who was an extraordinary good judge of pictures3 he had heard of signor ,gualdi's collection1 and in a very polite manner desired to see them1 to which the other very readily consented4 ,after the ,venetian had viewed signor ,gualdi's collection1 and expressed his satisfaction1 by telling him that he had never seen a finer1 considering the number of pieces of which it consisted2 he cast his eye by chance over the chamber-door1 where hung a picture of this stranger4 ,the ,venetian looked upon it1 and then upon him4 #8,this picture was drawn for you1 sir1' says he to signor ,gualdi1 to which the other made no answer1 but by a low bow4 #8,you look1' continued the ,venetian1 #8like a man of fifty1 and yet ,i know this picture to be of the hand of ,titian1 who has been dead one hundred and thirty years1 how is this possible8'--#8,it is not easy1' said signor ,gualdi1 gravely1 #8to know all things that are possible2 but there is certainly no crime in my being like a picture drawn by ,titian4' ,the ,venetian easily perceived1 by his manner of speaking1 that he had given the stranger offence1 and therefore took his leave4 8,he could not forbear speaking of this in the evening to some of his friends1 who resolved to satisfy themselves by looking upon the picture the next day4 ,in order to have an opportunity of doing so1 they went to the coffee-house about the time that signor ,gualdi was wont to come thither2 and not meeting with him1 one of them1 who had often conversed with him1 went to his lodgings to enquire after him1 where he heard1 that he had set out an hour before for ,vienna4 ,this affair made a great noise1 and found a place in all the newspapers of that time40#a ,it is well known that the philosopher's stone1 the art of transmuting metals into gold1 and the elixir vit1 which was to restore youth1 and make him that possessed it immortal2 formed a principal object of the studies of the curious for centuries4 ,many stories1 beside this of signor ,gualdi1 have been told1 of persons who were supposed to be in possession of those wonderful secrets1 in search of which hundreds of unfortunate adventurers wasted their fortunes and their lives4 ,it has been said of ,shakespear1 that he ,exhausted worlds1 and then imagined new#b3 but the burthen sustained by ,shakespear was too heavy for the shoulders of any other individual4 ,i leave the first part of the task above mentioned to be divided among those celebrated novelists1 living and dead1 who have attempted to delineate the scenes of real life4 ,in this little work ,i have endeavoured to gain footing in one neglected track of the latter province4 ,the hearts and the curiosity of readers have been assailed in so many ways1 that we1 writers who bring up the rear of our illustrious predecessors1 must be contented to arrive at novelty in whatever mode we are able4 ,the foundation of the following tale is such as1 it is not to be supposed1 ever existed4 ,but1 if ,i have mixed human feelings and passions with incredible situations1 and thus rendered them impressive and interesting1 ,i shall entertain some hope to be pardoned the boldness and irregularity of my design4 ,some readers of my graver productions will perhaps1 in perusing these little volumes1 accuse me of inconsistency2 the affections and charities of private life being every where in this publication a topic of the warmest eulogium1 while in the ,enquiry concerning ,political ,justice they seemed to be treated with no great degree of indulgence and favour4 ,in answer to this objection1 all ,i think it necessary to say on the present occasion is1 that1 for more than four years1 ,i have been anxious for opportunity and leisure to modify some of the earlier chapters of that work in conformity to the sentiments inculcated in this4 ,not that ,i see cause to make any change respecting the principle of justice1 or any thing else fundamental to the system there delivered2 but that ,i apprehend domestic and private affections inseparable from the nature of man1 and from what may be styled the culture of the heart1 and am fully persuaded that they are not incompatible with a profound and active sense of justice in the mind of him that cherishes them4 ,true wisdom will recommend to us individual attachments2 for with them our minds are more thoroughly maintained in activity and life than they can be under the privation of them2 and it is better that man should be a living being1 than a stock or a stone4 ,true virtue will sanction this recommendation2 since it is the object of virtue to produce happiness1 and since the man who lives in the midst of domestic relations will have many opportunities of conferring pleasure1 minute in the detail1 yet not trivial in the amount1 without interfering with the purposes of general benevolence4 ,nay1 by kindling his sensibility1 and harmonising his soul1 they may be expected1 if he is endowed with a liberal and manly spirit1 to render him more prompt in the service of strangers and the public4 ,nov4 #bf1 #agii4 ,,travels ,,of ,,st4 ,,leon4 ,,chapter ,i4 ,there is nothing that human imagination can figure brilliant and enviable1 that human genius and skill do not aspire to realize4 ,in the early ages of antiquity1 one of the favourite topics of speculation was a perfect system of civil policy2 and no sooner had ,plato delineated his imaginary republic1 than he sought for a spot of earth upon which to execute his plan4 ,in my own times1 and for upwards of a century before them1 the subject which has chiefly occupied men of intrepid and persevering study1 has been the great secret of nature1 the opus magnum1 in its two grand and inseparable branches1 the art of multiplying gold1 and of defying the inroads of infirmity and death4 ,it is notorious that uncommon talents and unparalleled industry have been engaged in this mighty task4 ,it has1 ,i know1 been disputed by the audacious adversaries of all sober and reasonable evidence1 whether these talents and industry have in any case attained the object they sought4 ,it is not to my purpose to ascertain the number of those whose victory over the powers and inertness of matter has been complete4 ,it is enough that ,i am a living instance of the existence of such men4 ,to these two secrets1 if they are to be considered as two1 ,i have been for years in the habit of resorting for my gratification4 ,i have in my possession the choice of being as wealthy as ,i please1 and the gift of immortal life4 ,every thing that ,i see almost1 ,i can without difficulty make my own2 for what palaces1 pictures1 parks or gardens1 rarities of art or nature1 have not a price at which their owner will consent to yield them8 ,the luxuries of every quarter of the world are emptied at my feet4 ,i can command1 to an extent almost inconceivable1 the passions of men4 ,what heart can withstand the assault of princely magnificence8 ,what man is inaccessible to a bribe8 ,add to these advantages1 that ,i am invulnerable to disease4 ,every sun that rises1 finds the circulations of my frame in the most perfect order4 ,decrepitude can never approach me4 ,a thousand winters want the power to furrow my countenance with wrinkles1 or turn my hairs to silver4 ,exhaustless wealth and eternal youth are the attributes by which ,i am distinguished from the rest of mankind4 ,i do not sit down now to write a treatise of natural philosophy4 ,the condition by which ,i hold my privileges is1 that they must never be imparted4 ,i sit down purely to relate a few of those extraordinary events that have been produced1 in the period of my life which is already elapsed1 by the circumstances and the peculiarity to which ,i have just alluded4 ,it is so obvious1 as to make it almost improper to specify it1 that the pursuit in which so many of my contemporaries are engaged1 and the end of which ,i have so singularly achieved1 is in its appearance infinitely more grand and interesting than that which occupied the thoughts of ,plato and the most eminent writers of antiquity4 ,what is political liberty compared with unbounded riches and immortal vigour8 ,the immediate application of political liberty is1 to render a man's patrimony or the fruits of his industry completely his own1 and to preserve them from the invasion of others4 ,but the petty detail of preservation or gradual acquisition can never enter into competition with the great secret1 which endows a man in a moment with every thing that the human heart can wish4 ,considered in this light1 how mean and contemptible does the ambition of the boasted ancients appear1 compared with ours8 ,what adept or probationer of the present day would be content to resign the study of ,god and the profounder secrets of nature1 and to bound his ardour to the investigation of his own miserable existence8 ,it may seem perhaps to many1 that the history of a person possessed of advantages so unparalleled as mine1 must be1 like the history of paradise1 or of the future happiness of the blessed1 too calm and motionless1 too much of one invariable texture and exempt from vicissitude1 to excite the attention or interest the passions of the reader4 ,if he will have patience1 and apply to the perusal of my narrative1 he will in no long time perceive how far his conjecture is founded in sagacity and reason4 ,some persons may be curious to know what motives can have induced a man of such enormous wealth1 and so every way qualified to revel in delights1 to take the trouble of penning his memoirs4 ,the immortality with which ,i am endowed seems to put out of the question the common motives that relate to posthumous fame4 ,the curiosity here mentioned1 if it really exists1 ,i cannot consent to gratify4 ,i will anticipate nothing4 ,in the progress of my story1 my motive for recording it will probably become evident4 ,i am descended from one of the most ancient and honourable families of the kingdom of ,france4 ,i was the only child of my father1 who died while ,i was an infant4 ,my mother was a woman of rather a masculine understanding1 and full of the prejudices of nobility and magnificence4 ,her whole soul was in a manner concentrated in the ambition to render me the worthy successor of the counts de ,st4 ,leon1 who had figured with distinguished reputation in the wars of the ,holy ,land4 ,my father had died fighting gallantly in the plains of ,italy under the standard of ,louis the ,twelfth2 a prince whose name was never repeated to me unaccompanied with the praises due to his military prowess1 and to the singular humanity of disposition by which he acquired the title of ,the father of his people4 ,my mother's mind was inflamed with the greatness of my ancestors1 and she indefatigably sought to kindle in my bosom a similar flame4 ,it has been a long-established custom for the barons and feudal vassals of the kings of ,france to enter with great personal expense into the brilliant and dazzling expeditions of their sovereigns2 and my father greatly impaired his fortune in preparations for that very campaign in which he terminated his life4 ,my mother industriously applied herself to the restoration of my patrimony2 and the long period of my minority afforded her scope for that purpose4 ,it was impossible for any boy to be treated with more kindness and considerate indulgence than ,i was during the period of my adolescence4 ,my mother loved me to the very utmost limits perhaps of human affection4 ,i was her darling and her pride1 her waking study1 and her nightly dream4 ,yet ,i was not pampered into corporeal imbecility1 or suffered to rust in inactivity of mind4 ,i was provided with the best masters4 ,i was excited1 and successfully excited1 zealously to apply myself to the lessons they taught4 ,i became intimately acquainted with the ,italian writers of the twelfth and thirteenth centuries4 ,i was initiated in the study of the classics1 to the cultivation of which the revival of letters at this time gave particular ardour4 ,i was instructed in the principles of the fine arts4 ,there was no species of accomplishment at that time in vogue1 that my mother was not anxious ,i should make my own4 ,the only science ,i neglected was the very science which has since given rise to the most extraordinary events of my life4 ,but the object to which my attention was principally called1 was the pursuit of military exercises1 and the cultivation of every thing that could add to the strength1 agility1 or grace of my body1 and to the adventurousness and enterprise of my mind4 ,my mother loved my honour and my fame more than she loved my person4 ,a circumstance that tended perhaps more than any other to fix the yet fluctuating character of my youthful mind1 was my being present as a spectator at the celebrated meeting between ,francis the ,first and ,henry the ,eighth1 king of ,england1 in a field between ,ardres and ,guines4 ,my mother refused to accompany me1 being already arrived at an age in which curiosity and the love of festive scenes are usually diminished1 and the expenses incurred by all the nobility who attended upon this scene being incompatible with the economy to which she rigidly adhered4 ,i was therefore placed under the protection of the ,marquis de ,villeroy1 her brother1 and1 with two servants who attended me1 formed a part of his suite4 ,i was at this time fifteen years of age4 ,my contemplations had been familiar with ideas of magnificence and grandeur1 but my life had been spent in the most sequestered retirement4 ,this contrast had a particular effect upon my disposition2 it irritated to a very high degree my passion for splendour and distinction2 ,i lived in the fairy fields of visionary greatness1 and was more than indifferent to the major part of the objects around me4 ,i pined for every thing the reverse of my present condition2 ,i cultivated the exercises in which ,i was engaged1 only as they were calculated to prepare me for future achievements4 ,by the incident ,i have mentioned1 ,i was transported at once from a scene of modest obscurity1 to a scene of the most lavish splendour that the world perhaps ever contemplated4 ,i never remembered to have seen even ,paris itself4 ,the prevailing taste of ,europe has for some time led very much to costliness in dress4 ,this taste1 in its present profusion1 ,i believe took its rise in the field of the ,vale of ,ardres4 ,the two kings were both in the vigour of their youth1 and were said to be the handsomest men of the age in which they lived4 ,the beauty of ,henry was sturdy and muscular2 that of ,francis more refined and elegant1 without subtracting in any considerable degree from the firmness of his make4 ,henry was four years older than his brother monarch4 ,the first of them might have been taken as a model to represent a youthful ,hercules1 and the last an ,apollo4 ,the splendour of dress that was worn upon this occasion exceeds almost all credibility4 ,every person of distinction might be said in a manner to carry an estate upon his shoulders2 nor was the variety of garments inferior to the richness4 ,wolsey1 a man whose magnificence of disposition was only surpassed by the pride of his soul1 was for the most part the director of the whole4 ,he possessed the most absolute ascendancy over the mind of his master1 at the same time that ,francis artfully indulged his caprice1 that he might claim from him in return a similar indulgence in weightier matters4 ,the pomp of processions1 and the ceremony of opening this memorable festival1 went first2 a sort of solemn and half-moving pageant1 which the eye took in at leisure1 and took in till it was filled4 ,this was succeeded by every thing that was rapid1 animated1 and interesting3 masques and exhibitions of all kinds2 and1 which was still more to me1 and which my soul devoured with indescribable ardour1 joustings1 tilts1 and tournaments without end4 ,the beauty of the armour1 the caparisons of the steeds1 the mettle of the animals themselves1 and the ardour and grace of the combatants1 surpassed every thing that my fancy had ever painted4 ,these scenes were acted in the midst of a vast amphitheatre of spectators1 where all that was noble and eminent of either country was assembled--the manliness of aspiring youth1 and the boundless varieties of female attraction4 ,all were in their gayest attire2 every eye was lighted up with complacency and joy4 ,if ,heraclitus1 or any other morose philosopher who has expatiated on the universal misery of mankind1 had entered the field of ,ardres1 he must have retracted his assertions1 or fled from the scene with confusion4 ,the kings were placed at either end of the lists1 surrounded with their courtiers4 ,every eye through this vast assembly was fixed upon the combatants2 the body of every one present was inclined this way or that1 in unconscious sympathy with the redoubted knights4 ,from time to time1 as the favourites of either party prevailed1 the air was rent with shouts and acclamations4 ,what added to the fascination of all that ,i have yet mentioned1 was that now1 for the first time in an equal degree perhaps for centuries1 the stiffness of unwieldy form was laid aside1 and the heart of man expanded itself with generosity and confidence4 ,it burst the fetters of ages2 and1 having burst them1 it seemed to revel in its new-found liberty4 ,it is well known that1 after a few days of idle precaution and specious imprisonment on both sides1 ,francis one morning mounted his horse1 and appeared1 without guards or any previous notice1 before the tent of ,henry4 ,the example was contagious1 and from this time all ceremony was laid aside4 ,the kings themselves entered personally into the combats of their subjects4 ,it was a delightful and a ravishing spectacle1 to witness the freedom of the old ,roman manners1 almost of the old ,roman ,saturnalia1 polished and refined with all that was graceful and humane in the age of chivalry4 ,it may easily be imagined what an effect a scene like this was calculated to produce upon a youth of my age and my education4 ,i recollected with anguish that the immaturity of my years precluded me from taking any active part in the spectacle4 ,my appearance however was sufficiently advantageous4 ,i was presented to ,francis the ,first4 ,he did me the honour to question me respecting my studies2 and1 finding in me some knowledge of those arts and that literature1 of which he was himself so zealous a favourer1 he expressed to my uncle a great satisfaction with my figure and acquisitions4 ,i might from this time have been taken to court1 and made one of the pages to this illustrious monarch4 ,but the plan of my mother was different4 ,she did not wish for the present that my eye should be satiated with public scenes1 or that the public should grow too familiarly acquainted with my person4 ,she rightly judged that my passion for the theatre of glory would grow more impetuous1 by being withheld for some time from the gratifications for which it panted4 ,she wished that ,i should present myself for the first time among the nobility of ,france an accomplished cavalier1 and not suffer the disadvantage of having exposed in the eye of the world those false steps and frailties1 from which the inexperience of youth is never entirely free4 ,these motives being explained to the king1 he was graciously pleased to sanction them with his approbation4 ,i accordingly returned to finish the course of my education at my paternal chteau upon the banks of the ,garonne4 ,the state of my mind during the three succeeding years amply justified the sagacity of my mother4 ,i was more eager for improvement than ,i had ever yet been4 ,i had before formed some conceptions of the career of honour from the books ,i had read1 and from the conversation of this excellent matron4 ,but my reveries were impotent and little1 compared with what ,i had now seen4 ,like the author of our holy religion1 ,i had spent my forty days without food in the wilderness1 when suddenly my eyes were opened1 and ,i was presented with all the kingdoms of the world1 and all the glory of them4 ,the fairy scene continued for a moment1 and then vanished2 leaving nothing behind it on all sides1 but the same barrenness and gloom by which it had been preceded4 ,i never shut my eyes without viewing in imagination the combats of knights and the train of ladies4 ,i had been regarded with distinction by my sovereign2 and ,francis the ,first stood before my mind the abstract and model of perfection and greatness4 ,i congratulated myself upon being born in an age and country so favourable to the acquisition of all that my soul desired4 ,i was already eighteen years of age1 when ,i experienced the first misfortune that ever befel me4 ,it was the death of my mother4 ,she felt the approach of her dissolution several weeks before it arrived1 and held repeated conversations with me1 respecting the feelings ,i ought to entertain1 and the conduct it would become me to pursue1 when she should be no more4 8,my son10 said she1 8your character1 and the promise of your early years1 have constituted my only consolation since the death of your excellent father4 ,our marriage was the result of a most sincere and exclusive attachment2 and never did man more deserve to be loved than ,reginald de ,st4 ,leon4 ,when he died1 the whole world would have been nothing to me but one vast blank1 if he had not left behind him the representative of his person1 and the heir to his virtues4 ,while ,i was busied in your education1 ,i seemed to be discharging the last duty to the memory of my husband4 ,the occupation was sacred to the honour of the dead1 even before it became so peculiarly pleasing to me upon its own account1 as ,i afterwards found it4 ,i hope ,i have in some measure discharged the task1 in the manner in which my lord your father would have wished it to have been discharged1 if he had lived4 ,i am thankful to ,heaven1 that ,i have been spared so long for so dear and honourable a purpose4 8,you must now1 my son1 stand by yourself1 and be the arbitrator of your own actions4 ,i could have wished that this necessity might have been a little further deferred2 but ,i trust your education has not been of that sort which is calculated to render a young man helpless and contemptible4 ,you have been taught to know your rank in society1 and to respect yourself4 ,you have been instructed in every thing that might most effectually forward you in the career of glory4 ,there is not a young cavalier among all the nobility of ,france more accomplished1 or that promises to do greater honour to his name and his country4 ,i shall not live to witness the performance of this promise1 but the anticipation even now1 pours a long stream of sunshine on my departing hour4 8,farewell1 my son6 ,you no longer stand in need of my maternal care4 ,when ,i am gone1 you will be compelled more vividly to feel that singleness and self-dependence which are the source of all virtue4 ,be careful of yourself4 ,be careful that your career may be both spotless and illustrious4 ,hold your life as a thing of no account1 when it enters into competition with your fame4 ,a true knight thinks no sacrifice and suffering hard1 that honour demands4 ,be humane1 gentle1 generous1 and intrepid4 ,be prompt to follow wherever your duty calls you4 ,remember your ancestors1 knights of the ,holy ,cross4 ,remember your father4 ,follow your king1 who is the mirror of valour3 and be ever ready for the service of the distressed4 ,may ,providence be your guardian4 ,may ,heaven shower down a thousand blessings1 upon your innocence1 and the gallantry of your soul60 ,the death of my mother was a severe blow to my heart4 ,for some time all the visions of greatness and renown which had hitherto been my chosen delight appeared distasteful to me4 ,i hung over her insensible corpse4 ,when it had been committed to the earth1 ,i repaired every day to the spot where it was deposited1 at the hour of dusk1 when all visible objects faded from the eye1 when nature assumed her saddest tints1 and the whole world seemed about to be wrapped in the darkness of the tomb4 ,the dew of night drizzled unheeded on my head2 and ,i did not turn again towards the turrets of the chteau1 till the hour of midnight had already sounded through the stillness of the scene4 ,time is the healer of almost every grief1 particularly in the sprightly season of early youth4 ,in no long period ,i changed the oppression of inactive sorrow1 for the affectionate and pious recollection of my mother's last instructions4 ,i had been too deeply imbued with sentiments of glory1 for it to be possible1 when the first excess of grief was over1 that ,i should remain in indolence4 ,the tender remembrance of my mother itself1 in no long time1 furnished a new stimulus to my ambition4 ,i forgot the melancholy spectacle of the last struggles of her expiring life2 ,i even became accustomed no longer to hear her voice1 no longer to expect her presence1 when ,i returned to the chteau from a short excursion4 ,her last advice was now all that survived of the author of my existence4 ,,chapter ,,ii4 ,i was in this state of mind1 when early one morning in the beginning of summer1 soon after ,i rose1 ,i was startled by the sound of trumpets in the plain near the chteau4 ,the bugle at the gate was presently sounded2 the drawbridge was let down2 and the ,marquis de ,villeroy entered the court-yard1 accompanied by about thirty knights in complete armour4 ,i saluted him with respect1 and the tenderness excited by recent grief4 ,he took me by the hand1 after a short repast in the hall1 and led me to my closet4 8,my son10 said he1 8it is time to throw off the effeminacy of sorrow1 and to prove yourself a true soldier of the standard of ,france40 8,i trust1 my lord10 replied ,i1 with modest earnestness1 8that you well know1 there is nothing after which my heart so ardently aspires4 ,there is nothing that ,i know worth living for but honour4 ,show me the path that leads to it1 or rather show me the occasion that affords scope for the love of honour to display itself1 and you shall then see whether ,i am backward to embrace it4 ,i have a passion pent up within me1 that feeds upon my vitals3 it disdains speech2 it burns for something more unambiguous and substantial40 8,it is well10 rejoined my uncle4 8,i expected to find you thus4 ,your reply to my admonition is worthy of the blood of your ancestors1 and of the maternal instructions of my sister4 ,and1 were you as dull as the very stones you tread on1 what ,i have to tell you might even then rouse you into animation and ardour40 ,after this short preface my uncle proceeded to relate a tale1 every word of which inflamed my spirits1 and raised all my passions in arms4 ,i had heard something imperfectly of the state of my country2 but my mother carefully kept me in ignorance1 that my ambition might not be excited too soon1 and that1 when excited1 it might be with the fullest effect4 ,while ,i impatiently longed for an occasion of glory1 ,i was far from apprehending1 what ,i now found to be true1 that the occasion which at this period presented itself1 was such1 that all the licence of fiction could scarcely have improved it4 ,the ,marquis de ,villeroy described to me the league now subsisting against ,france4 ,he revived in my memory1 by terms of the most fervent loyalty1 the accomplishments and talents of my royal master4 ,he spoke with aversion of the phlegmatic and crafty disposition of his imperial rival#c2 and1 with the language of glowing indignation1 inveighed against the fickleness of the capricious ,henry4#d ,he described the train of disasters1 which had at length induced the king to take the field in person4 ,he contrasted1 with great effect1 the story of the gallant ,chevalier ,bayard1 the knight without fear and without reproach1 whose blood was still fresh in the plains of the ,milanese1 with that of the ,constable of ,bourbon1 the stain of chivalry1 whom inglorious resentment and ungoverned ambition had urged to join the enemies of his country1 in neglect of his loyalty and his oath4 ,he stimulated me by the example of the one1 and the infamy of the other2 and assured me that there never was an opportunity more favourable for acquiring immortal renown4 ,i wanted no prompter in a passion of this sort2 and immediately set about collecting the whole force of my clients and retainers4 ,i shook off the inglorious softness of my melancholy1 and was all activity and animation4 ,the lessons of my youth were now called into play4 ,i judged it necessary to invite the assistance of some person of experience to assist me in marshalling my men2 but ,i did much of what was to be done myself1 and ,i did it well4 ,it was my first employment in the morning3 and the last that was witnessed by the setting sun4 ,my excellent mother had left my revenues in the best order1 and ,i spared no expense in the gratification of my favourite passion4 ,however eager ,i felt myself to take the field1 the desire to appear in a manner worthy of a ,count de ,st4 ,leon restrained me2 and ,i did not join the royal army till the ,imperialists1 having broken up the siege of ,marseilles1 and retreated with precipitation into ,italy1 the king had already crossed the ,alps1 entered the ,milanese1 and gained uncontested possession of the capital4 ,from ,milan ,francis proceeded to ,pavia4 ,glory was the idol of his heart2 and he was the more powerfully excited to the attack of that place1 because it was the strongest and best fortified post in the whole duchy4 ,the more he displayed of military prowess1 the more firmly he believed he should fix himself in his newly acquired dominions2 the inhabitants would submit to him the more willingly1 and the enemy be less encouraged to enter into a fresh contention for what he had acquired4 ,such at least were the motives that he assigned for his proceedings3 in reality perhaps he was principally induced by the brilliancy which he conceived would attend on the undertaking4 ,it was a few weeks after the opening of the siege1 that ,i presented myself to my royal master4 ,he received me with those winning and impressive manners by which he was so eminently distinguished4 ,he recollected immediately all that had passed at our interview in the ,vale of ,ardres1 and warmly expressed the obligations which ,france had at various times owed to my ancestors4 ,he spoke with earnest respect of the virtues and wisdom of my mother1 and commended the resolution by which she had in former instances held me back from the public theatre4 8,young gentleman10 said the king1 8,i doubt not the gallantry of your spirit2 ,i see the impatience of a martial temper written in your face3 ,i expect you to act in a manner worthy of your illustrious race1 and of the instructions of a woman who deserved to be herself a pattern to all the matrons of ,france4 ,fear not that ,i shall suffer your accomplishments to rust in obscurity4 ,i shall employ you4 ,i shall assign you the post of danger and of renown4 ,fill it nobly2 and from that hour ,i shall rank you in the catalogue of my chosen friends40 ,the siege of ,pavia proved indeed to be a transaction1 in the course of which military honour might well be acquired4 ,it was defended by a small1 but veteran garrison1 and by one of the ablest captains that ,europe at that time possessed4#e ,he interrupted the approaches of the besiegers by frequent and furious sallies4 ,in vain1 by the aid of our excellent artillery1 did we make wide and repeated breaches in the fortifications4 ,no sooner did we attempt to enter by the passage we had opened1 than we found ourselves encountered by a body composed of the choicest and bravest soldiers of the garrison4 ,the governor of the city1 who1 though grey-headed and advanced in years1 was profuse of every youthful exertion1 was ordinarily at the head of this body4 ,if we deferred our attack1 or1 not having succeeded in it1 proposed to commence it anew with the dawn of the following day1 we were sure to find a new wall sprung up in the room of the other1 as if by enchantment4 ,frequently the governor anticipated the success of our batteries2 and the old fortification was no sooner demolished1 than we beheld1 to our astonishment and mortification1 a new wall1 which his prudence and skill had erected at a small interval within the line of the former4 ,one of these attacks took place on the second day after my arrival at the camp of our sovereign4 ,every thing that ,i saw was new to me1 and inflamed me with ardour4 ,the noise of the cannon1 which had preceded the attack1 and which was now hushed2 the inspiring sounds of martial music which succeeded that noise2 the standards floating in the air2 the firm and equal tread of the battalion that advanced2 the armour of the knights2 the rugged1 resolute1 and intrepid countenances of the infantry2--all swelled my soul with transport hitherto unexperienced4 ,i had beheld the smoke of the artillery1 in the midst of which every thing was lost and confounded2 ,i had waited in awful suspense till the obscurity should be dissipated2 ,i saw with pleasure and surprise the ruin of the wall1 and the wideness of the breach4 ,all that had been recorded of the military feats of ,christian valour seemed then to stand crowded in my busy brain2 the generosity1 the condescension1 the kindness1 with which the king had addressed me the day before1 urged me to treble exertion4 ,i was in the foremost rank4 ,we surmounted the ditch4 ,we were resisted by a chosen body of ,spaniards4 ,the contention was obstinate2 brave men1 generous and enterprising spirits1 fell on the one side and the other4 ,i seized the cloth of a standard1 as1 in the playing of the wind1 it was brought near to my hand4 ,between me and the ,spaniard that held it there ensued an obstinate struggle4 ,i watched my opportunity1 and with my sword severed the flag from its staff4 ,at this moment the trumpets of the king sounded a retreat4 ,i had received two severe wounds1 one in the shoulder and the other in the thigh1 in the contest4 ,i felt myself faint with the loss of blood4 ,a ,french officer1 of a rude appearance and gigantic stature1 accosting me with the appellation of boy2 commanded me to surrender the standard to him4 ,i refused2 and1 to convince him ,i was in earnest1 proceeded to wrap it round my body1 and fastened it under my arm4 ,soon after ,i became insensible1 and in this situation was accidentally found by my uncle and his companions1 who immediately took me and my prize under their care4 ,as soon as ,i was a little recovered of my wounds1 the king seized an opportunity1 after having bestowed loud commendations upon my gallantry1 of conferring the honours of knighthood upon me in the face of the whole army4 ,while our tents were pitched under the walls of ,pavia1 ,i was continually extending the circle of my acquaintance among the young gentry of ,france1 who1 like myself1 had attended their sovereign in this memorable expedition4 ,i had some enemies1 made such by the distinctions ,i obtained during the siege4 ,but they were few2 the greater part courted me the more1 the more ,i showed myself worthy of their attachment4 ,envy is not a passion that finds easy root in a ,frenchman's bosom4 ,i was one of the youngest of those who attended on the siege2 but my brothers in arms were generous rivals1 who in the field obstinately strove with me for superior glory1 but over the convivial board forgot their mutual competitions1 and opened their hearts to benevolence and friendship4 8,let us not10 was a sentiment ,i heard often repeated1 8forget the object that led us from our pleasant homes to pour from the heights of the ,alps upon the fields of ,italy4 ,it is to humble the imperious ,spaniard--to punish the disloyal ,bourbon--to vindicate the honour of our beloved and illustrious monarch4 ,those walls cover the enemy2 yonder mountains serve to hide them from our assault2 let no ,frenchman mistake him who marches under the same standard for an adversary40 ,the trenches had not been opened before ,pavia till about the beginning of ,november4 ,the winter overtook us1 and the siege was yet in progress2 with some apparent advantage indeed to our side of the question1 but by no means promising an instant conclusion4 ,the season set in with unusual severity2 and both officer and soldier were glad1 as much as possible1 to fence out its rigour by the indulgences of the genial board4 ,my finances1 as ,i have said1 were at the commencement of the expedition in excellent order3 ,i had brought with me a considerable sum2 and it was not spared upon the present occasion4 ,there were however other things to be attended to1 beside the demands of conviviality4 ,the king became impatient of the delays of the siege4 ,the garrison and the inhabitants were reduced to great extremities2 but the governor discovered no symptoms of a purpose to surrender4 ,in the mean time intelligence was brought1 that ,bourbon was making the most extraordinary exertions in ,germany1 and promised to lead to the enemy a reinforcement of twelve thousand men from that country2 while the imperial generals1 by mortgaging their revenues1 and pawning their jewels1 and still more by their eloquence and influence with those under their command1 were able to keep together the remains of a disheartened and defeated army in expectation of his arrival4 ,there was some danger therefore1 if the siege were not speedily terminated1 that the king might ultimately be obliged to raise it with ignominy1 or to fight the enemy under every disadvantage4 ,francis however was not to be deterred from his undertaking4 ,he swore a solemn oath1 that ,pavia should be his1 or he would perish in the attempt4 ,thus circumstanced1 he conceived a very extraordinary project4 ,pavia is defended on one side by the ,tesino1 the scene of the first of the four famous battles by which ,hannibal signalised his invasion of ,italy4 ,the king believed that if this river could by the labour of his army be diverted from its course1 the town must instantly fall into his hands4 ,he was encouraged to the undertaking1 by recollecting a stratagem of a similar nature by which ,cyrus formerly made himself master of the city of ,babylon4 ,it was a thought highly flattering to the grandeur of his soul1 to imagine that posterity would in this instance institute a parallel between him and ,cyrus the ,great4 ,the plan for diverting the course of the ,tesino produced a new and extraordinary scene4 ,it was1 as may well be believed1 a work of uncommon labour4 ,a new channel was to be scooped out and deepened2 and1 while the stream was turned into this channel1 piles were to be sunk1 and an immense mound of earth created1 as an effectual impediment to the waters resuming their former course4 ,this was a heavy burthen to the soldier1 in addition to the disadvantage of being encamped during the course of a winter remarkably severe for the climate in which we fought4 ,by any other army the task would have been performed with cloudiness and discontent1 if not complained of with repining and murmurs4 ,but here the gaiety of the ,french character displayed itself4 ,the nobility of ,france1 who attended their sovereign in great numbers1 accompanied the infantry in their labour4 ,we laid aside the indulgence of the marque1 of tapestry and carpets2 we threw off our upper garments2 and each seized a spade1 a barrow of earth1 or a mattock4 ,we put our hands to the engines1 and refused no effort under pretence that it was sordid or severe4 ,while the trees were leafless1 and nature appeared bound up in frost1 sweat ran down our faces and bedewed our limbs4 ,the army were encouraged by our example4 ,an employment which1 under other circumstances1 would have been regarded as rigid1 was thus made a source of new hilarity and amusement4 ,it was a memorable sight to behold the venerable and grey-headed leaders of the ,french army endeavouring to exert the strength and activity of their early years4 ,to me1 who had but lately arrived at the stature of manhood1 and who was accustomed to all the exercises which give strength and vigour to the frame1 this new employment was in no degree burdensome4 ,i felt in it the satisfaction that a swift man experiences when he enters the lists of the race2 ,i congratulated myself upon the nature of my education2 if it be a sin to covet honour1 that guilt was mine2 and1 so great was my appetite for it1 that ,i was inexpressibly rejoiced to observe the various ways in which it might be gratified4 ,strange as it may seem1 this scene of a winter-camp1 in the midst of blood and sweat1 surrounded with dangers1 and called on for unparalleled exertions1 appears to me1 through the vista of years that is now interposed between1 to have been one of the happiest of my life4 ,the gay labours and surprises of the day were succeeded by a convivial evening1 in which we did not the less open our hearts1 though frequently liable to be interrupted in our midnight revels by the inexhaustible activity and stratagems of the enemy4 ,in this various and ever-shifting scene1 ,i forgot the disasters that occurred1 and the blood that flowed around me4 ,all sense of a large and impartial morality was1 for the time at least1 deadened in my breast4 ,i was ever upon the alert4 ,the diversity of events neither suffered my spirits to flag1 nor reflection to awake4 ,it is only upon such occasions1 or occasions like these1 that a man is able fully to feel what life is1 and to revel in its exuberance4 ,above all1 ,i was delighted with the society and friendship of my brother-officers4 ,they honoured me2 they loved me4 ,i seemed to feel what sympathy was2 and to have conscious pleasure in making one in a race of beings like myself4 ,such were my sensations4 ,it must not1 however1 be imagined1 that all about me felt in these respects as ,i did4 ,i was deeply indebted in this particular to my youth and my fortune4 ,the old endeavoured to brace themselves in vain2 they sunk under the continual pressure4 ,the poor soldier from the ranks laboured incessantly1 and ,i laboured as much as he2 but he had little opportunity to recruit his vigour and renovate his strength4 ,there was yet another class of persons in the camp1 whose gaiety was much less interrupted than mine4 ,these were1 the king1 and the generals who commanded under him4 ,they could not be entirely devoid of thought and consideration4 ,they suffered much anxiety from the length of the siege2 and felt that every period of delay increased the doubtfulness of the event4 ,antonio de ,leyva1 governor of the city1 necessarily felt himself alarmed at the extraordinary project in which we were engaged1 and made every exertion to prevent it4 ,one evening the king sent for me to his tent1 and told me in confidence that the enemy intended that very night to make three several attacks upon our mound1 one on each side of the stream1 and one by means of boats in the centre4 ,two of these1 he said1 were merely intended as feints2 the west bank of the ,tesino was the point against which their principal exertions would be directed4 ,on that side he was resolved to command in person2 the boats with which he proposed to resist their flota he confided to one of the most famous and valuable officers of his army2 the detachment on the east bank he purposed to intrust to my uncle and myself4 ,he observed1 that the detachment he could spare for that purpose1 after having formed the other two bodies1 and reserved a sufficient number for the defence of the camp and the works1 would be small2 and he warned me to the exertion of a particular vigilance4 ,it would be doubly unfortunate1 if a body1 the attack upon which was to be merely a feigned one1 should nevertheless be routed4 8,go10 added he1 8fulfil my expectations2 deport yourself answerably to the merit of your first achievement2 and depend upon it that you will prove hereafter one of the most eminent supporters of the martial glory of ,france40 ,the ,marquis de ,villeroy divided our little force into two bodies3 with the larger he lay in wait for the enemy near the scene of the expected attack3 the smaller he confided to my direction1 and placed so that we might be able to fall upon the rear of the garrison-troops as soon as they should be fully engaged with our comrades4 ,in the situation assigned me ,i took advantage of the skirts of a wood1 which enabled me to approach very near to the expected route of our assailants1 without being perceived by them4 ,the night was extremely dark1 yet the vicinity of my position was such1 that ,i could count the numbers of the adversary as they passed along before my hiding-place4 ,i was alarmed to find that they amounted to at least the triple of what we had been taught to expect4 ,they were no sooner past1 than ,i despatched to the king a young knight1 my particular friend1 who happened to be with me1 to urge the necessity of a reinforcement4 ,at the same time ,i sent a messenger to my uncle1 by a circuitous route1 to inform him of what ,i had observed1 and the step ,i had taken1 and to entreat him to defer the attack as long as consistently with propriety it should be possible4 ,the enemy1 however1 had no sooner arrived at the place of his destination1 than the troops of the marquis1 no longer capable of restraint1 rushed to engage4 ,the ,spaniards were at first surprised1 but a short time led them to suspect the weakness of their assailants2 nor was the assistance ,i brought to my uncle sufficient to turn the fortune of the fight4 ,we lost many of our men2 the rest apparently gave ground2 and it was a vain attempt1 amidst the darkness of the night1 to endeavour to restore order and rally them to the assault4 ,we were already almost completely overpowered1 when the succours we expected reached us4 ,they were1 however1 unable to distinguish friend from enemy4 ,a storm of mingled rain and snow had come on1 which benumbed our limbs1 drove fiercely in our faces1 and rendered every object alike viewless4 ,the carnage which in this situation took place was terrible4 ,our blows were struck at random4 ,a ,frenchman was not less dreadful than a ,spaniard4 ,when the battle ceased1 scarcely one of the enemy was left alive2 but we observed with astonishment and horror the number of the besiegers who had probably1 in the midst of the confusion1 been cut to pieces by their own countrymen4 ,i am now arrived at the period which put an end to the festivity and jocundness of the campaign4 ,all after this was one continued series of disaster4 ,about the close of ,january1 our work1 though not wholly interrupted1 was considerably retarded by a succession of heavy rains4 ,this was injurious to us in many ways2 our project1 which was executed in the midst of waters1 rendered additional damp a matter of serious consideration4 ,we were also seized with an apprehension of still greater magnitude1 which was speedily realised4 ,the snows being at length completely dissolved1 and the quantity of water continually increasing1 we perceived one afternoon strong symptoms that our mound1 the principal subject of our labour and source of our hope1 was giving way in various places4 ,the next morning at daybreak1 it rushed down every where at once with wonderful violence and noise4 ,it is difficult to describe the sensation of anguish which was instantly and universally diffused4 ,the labour of many weeks was overthrown in a moment4 ,as we had proceeded in our work1 we every day saw ourselves nearer the object to which we aspired4 ,at this time our project was almost completed1 and ,pavia was in imagination already in our hands1 to gain possession of which had cost us such unremitted exertions1 the display of so much gallantry1 and the loss of so many soldiers4 ,we were confounded at the catastrophe we saw4 ,we gazed at each other1 each in want of encouragement1 and every one unable to afford it4 ,still1 however1 we were not destitute of advantages4 ,the garrison began to be in want both of ammunition and provisions4 ,they were in a general state of discontent1 almost of mutiny1 which scarcely all the address and authority of the governor were able to suppress4 ,if the town continued longer unrelieved1 it was sure to fall into our hands4 ,but even this our last hope was considerably diminished by the intelligence we received the very day after the destruction of our mound1 that the imperial army1 after having received large reinforcements1 was approaching in considerable force4 ,the king had some time before1 in the height of his confidence1 and elation of his heart1 sent off a detachment of six thousand men to invade the kingdom of ,naples2 for upon that1 as well as the ,milanese1 he had inherited pretensions from his immediate predecessors4 ,but1 though the enemy was superior in numbers1 and a part perhaps of their forces better disciplined than ours1 they laboured under several disadvantages to which we were not exposed4 ,the ,emperor1 though his dominions were more extensive1 did not derive from them a revenue equal to that of ,francis4 ,as he did not take the field in person1 the war appeared to his subjects only a common war1 proceeding upon the ordinary motives of war4 ,but my countrymen were led by their sovereign1 were fresh from the recent insolence of an invasion of their own territory1 and fought at once for personal glory and their country's honour4 ,the king1 who commanded them1 seemed expressly formed to obtain their attachment and affection4 ,his nobles became enthusiastic by the example of his enthusiasm1 and willingly disbursed their revenues to give prosperity and clat to the campaign4 ,the first question that arose upon the approach of the enemy was1 whether we should break up the siege1 and attend in some strong post the slow1 but sure1 effect of their want of money1 and the consequent dispersion of their troops1 or wait their attack in our present posture4 ,the former advice was safe2 but to the gallant spirit of ,francis it appeared ignominious4 ,he was upon all occasions the partisan of rapid measures and decisive proceedings2 and his temper1 with the exception of a few wary and deliberate counsellors1 accorded with that of our whole army4 ,for some days we congratulated ourselves upon the wisdom of our choice2 we presented to the enemy so formidable an appearance1 that1 notwithstanding the cogent motives he had to proceed1 he hesitated long before he ventured to attack us4 ,at length1 however1 the day came that was pregnant with so momentous expectation4 ,if through the whole limits of our camp there was not a man that did not feel himself roused upon this glorious occasion1 to me it was especially interesting4 ,the scene accorded with the whole purpose of my education1 and novelty made it impressive4 ,i lived only in the present moment4 ,i had not a thought1 a wish1 a straggling imagination1 that wandered beyond the circuit of the day4 ,my soul was filled2 at one minute wild with expectation1 and at another awed into solemnity4 ,there is something indescribably delicious in this concentration of the mind4 ,it raises a man above himself2 and makes him feel a certain nobleness and elevation of character1 of the possession of which he was to that hour unconscious4 ,fear and pain were ideas that could find no harbour in my bosom3 ,i regarded this as the most memorable of days1 and myself as the most fortunate of mortals4 ,far indeed was ,i from anticipating the disgraceful event1 in which this elation of heart speedily terminated4 ,the sun rose bright in a cloudless sky4 ,the cold of the season was such1 as only to give new lightness and elasticity to the muscles and animal spirits4 ,i saw few of those objects of nature1 which in this delightful climate gave so sacred a pleasure to the human soul4 ,but in my present temper there was no object of sight so ravishing1 as the firm and equal steps of the martial bands1 the impatience of the war-horse1 and the display of military standards2 nor any music so enchanting1 as the shrillness of the pipe1 the clangor of the trumpet1 the neighing of steeds1 and the roaring of cannon4 ,it is thus that man disguises to himself the real nature of his occupation2 and clothes that which is of all things the most nefarious or most to be lamented1 with the semblance of jubilee and festival4 ,the ,imperialists were at first unable to withstand the efforts of ,french valour4 ,they gave way on every side2 we pursued our advantage with impetuosity4 ,to the slaughter of whole ranks mowed down with tremendous celerity1 to the agonies of the dying1 ,i was blind2 their groans had no effect on my organ1 for my soul was occupied in another direction4 ,my horse's heels spurned their mangled limbs1 and were red with their blood4 ,i fought not merely with valour1 but with fury2 ,i animated those around me by my example and my acclamations4 ,it may seem contrary to delicacy to speak with this freedom of my own praises2 but ,i am at my present writing totally changed and removed from what ,i was1 and ,i write with the freedom of a general historian4 ,it is this simplicity and ingenuousness that shall pervade the whole of my narrative4 ,the fortune of the day speedily changed4 ,the cowardice and desertion of our ,swiss allies gave the first signal of adversity4 ,the gallant commander of the garrison of ,pavia sallied out in the midst of the fight1 and suddenly attacked us in the rear4 ,a stratagem of the ,imperial general effected the rout of our cavalry4 ,the whole face of the field was utterly reversed4 ,it would be in vain for me to attempt to describe even the small part that ,i beheld of the calamity and slaughter of the ,french army4 ,at this distance of time1 the recollection of it opens afresh the almost obliterated wounds of my heart4 ,i saw my friends cut down1 and perish on every side4 ,those who1 together with myself1 had marched out in the morning1 swelled with exultation and hope1 now lay weltering in their blood4 ,their desires1 their thoughts1 their existence1 were brought to a fatal termination4 ,the common soldiers were hewed and cut to pieces by hundreds1 without note and observation4 ,many of the first nobility of ,france1 made desperate by the change of the battle1 rushed into the thickest of the foe1 and became so many voluntary sacrifices2 choosing rather to perish1 than to turn their backs with dishonour4 ,in the battle ,i had two horses killed under me4 ,the first of them suffered a sort of gradual destruction4 ,he had already received one wound in the nostrils1 and another in the neck1 when a third shot carried away two of his feet1 and laid him prostrate on the earth4 ,bernardin1 my faithful attendant1 observed what was passing1 and immediately brought me a fresh charger2 but ,i had not long mounted him1 when he received a wound which killed him on the spot4 ,i was myself hurt in several places1 and at length the stroke of a sabre brought me to the ground4 ,here ,i remained for a long time insensible4 ,when ,i recovered1 and looked around me1 ,i found myself in entire solitude1 and could at present perceive no trace either of the enemy or of my own people4 ,soon1 however1 ,i recollected what had passed1 and was but too well assured of the defeat my countrymen had sustained4 ,weak and battered as ,i was1 ,i attempted to retire to a place of greater security4 ,i had scarcely changed my ground1 before ,i saw a trooper of the enemy rushing towards me1 with the intention to take away my life4 ,fortunately ,i observed a tree at hand1 to the shelter of which ,i hastened2 and1 partly by moving the branches to and fro1 and partly by shifting my position1 ,i baffled my adversary1 till he became weary of the attempt4 ,a moment after1 ,i saw one of my most intimate and familiar companions killed before my eyes4 ,it was not long1 however1 before a party of fugitive ,french came up to the spot where ,i stood1 and ,i1 like the rest1 was hurried from the field4 ,my uncle perished in the battle4 ,it is wonderful how men can harden their hearts against such scenes as ,i then witnessed4 ,it is wonderful how they can be brought to co-operate in such demoniac fury1 and more than demoniac mischief1 barbarity1 and murder4 ,but they are brought to it2 and enter1 not from a deplorable necessity1 but as to a festival1 in which each man is eager to occupy his place1 and share the amusements4 ,it seemed to me at that time1 as it seems to me now1 that it should be enough for a man to contemplate such a field as ,i saw at ,pavia1 to induce him to abjure the trade of violence for ever1 and to commit his sword once more to the bowels of the earth1 from which it was torn for so nefarious a purpose4 ,these sensations1 though now finally established in my mind1 were1 at the time of which ,i am writing1 but of fleeting duration4 ,the force of education1 and the first bent of my mind1 were too strong4 ,the horror which overwhelmed me in the first moments of this great national defeat subsided2 and the military passion returned upon me in its original ardour4 ,my convictions1 and the moral integrity of my soul1 were temporary2 and ,i became myself a monument of that inconstancy and that wonder1 to which ,i have just alluded4 ,various circumstances1 however1 prevented this passion from its direct operation4 ,the character of ,france was altered by the battle of ,pavia1 though mine remained the same4 ,it was in the fullest degree decisive of the fortune of the war4 ,milan1 and every other place in the duchy1 opened their gates to the conqueror2 and1 in a fortnight1 not a ,frenchman was left in the fields of ,italy4 ,of the whole army only a small body effected an orderly retreat1 under the command of the ,duke of ,alenon4 ,many persons of the highest distinction perished in the battle3 many were made prisoners by the enemy4 ,france by this event found the list of her noblesse considerably reduced in numbers2 add to which1 those whose loss she sustained1 were almost all of them taken from among the most distinguished and meritorious in the catalogue4 ,but what constituted the principal feature in this memorable event was1 that the king himself was found in the number of the prisoners2 nor was he released by his ungenerous competitor till after more than a twelvemonth's confinement4 ,during this period ,francis tasted of the dregs of adversity4 ,inclined in the first instance to judge of his rival by himself1 he expected a liberal treatment4 ,in this he was deeply disappointed4 ,after a detention of many months in the ,milanese1 the scene of his former successes1 he was transferred to ,madrid4 ,he was personally neglected by the emperor1 while his disloyal subject#f was treated with singular distinction4 ,the most rigorous terms were proposed to him4 ,all this had the effect1 in one instance1 of sinking him into a disease of languor and dejection which he was not expected to survive2 and1 in another1 of inducing him to execute an instrument by which he abdicated the crown1 and declared his resolution of remaining a prisoner for life4 ,his confinement was at length terminated by his solemnly engaging to compulsory articles1 which he was determined to break as soon as he found himself at liberty2 an alternative peculiarly grating to the liberality of his spirit4 ,this reverse of fortune materially changed his character4 ,the fine spirit of his ambition was from this time evaporated2 and1 while he still retained the indefeasible qualities of his soul1 and was gallant1 kind-hearted1 and generous1 he bartered1 as far as was compatible with his disposition1 the enterprising and audacious temper he had previously manifested1 for the wary and phlegmatic system of his more fortunate competitor4 ,his genius cowered before that of ,charles2 and the defeat of ,pavia may1 perhaps1 be considered as having given a deadly wound to the reign of chivalry1 and a secure foundation to that of craft1 dissimulation1 corruption1 and commerce4 ,,chapter ,,iii4 ,the lists of military ambition then being closed1 if not permanently1 at least for a time1 my mind took a new bias2 and1 without dismissing its most cherished and darling passion1 pursued a path in the present emergency1 to which the accidents of my youth had also guided me4 ,if my mother had survived1 she would probably either not have consented to my serving at the siege of ,pavia1 or at least would have recalled me to the obscurity of my paternal chteau as soon as the campaign was at an end4 ,i had not fully completed the twentieth year of my age1 at the period of the memorable battle in which my sovereign was made prisoner4 ,i was left without adviser or guide2 even the ,marquis de ,villeroy1 my mother's brother1 of whatever consequence his admonitions to me might have proved1 was taken from me in this fatal engagement4 ,the king himself1 perhaps1 had it not been for the dreadful calamities in which he was now involved1 might have condescended to interest himself in some degree in my welfare4 ,by the course of events1 ,i was left1 yet a minor1 and with an ample revenue at my disposition1 to be wholly guided by the suggestions of my own mind4 ,in the portion of his reign already elapsed1 the splendid and interesting qualities of ,francis had given a new spring to the sentiments of the nation4 ,he was the most accomplished and amiable prince of the time in which he lived4 ,there was but one of all the sovereigns of ,christendom that could cope with him in power1--the ,emperor ,charles2 and as ,charles's peculiarities were of a sort that ,frenchmen were accustomed to regard with aversion and contempt1 so there had not been a doubt among my compatriots1 of the side upon which the superiority would ultimately rest4 ,by the events of the day of ,pavia they were confounded and overwhelmed4 ,they did not despair of their country2 they soon felt1 and felt to its utmost extent1 the rank which ,france held among the ,european states4 ,but the chain of their ideas was interrupted2 they could not but be conscious that the fortune of the kingdom had received a grievous check4 ,the illustrious career which they had in fancy already traversed1 was postponed to a distant period4 ,the consequences which flow from a suppressed ambition may easily be imagined4 ,the nobility of ,france exchanged the activity of the field for the indulgences of the table3 that concentrated spirit which had sought to expand itself upon the widest stage1 now found vent in the exhibition of individual expense3 and1 above all1 the sordid and inglorious passion for gaming1 a vice eminently characteristic of the age1 now especially gained strength1 and drew multitudes into its destructive vortex4 ,it was1 perhaps1 impossible for a young man to have entered the theatre of the world under less favourable auspices4 ,in what ,i have already written1 ,i felt myself prompted to enlarge with complacency upon the sentiments and scenes of my youth2 and ,i have yielded to the suggestion4 ,the same internal admonition makes me shrink from entering with minuteness into the detail of my ruin4 ,i recollect my infatuation with abhorrence2 ,i fly from the memory with sensations inexpressibly painful2 ,i regard it as a cloud that overshadowed and blackened for ever the fair prospects of my earlier years4 ,i shall not enumerate all my youthful companions1 or all my youthful follies4 ,i committed a mistake obvious enough1 at this immature period of my existence1 when ,i mistook profusion and extravagance for splendour and dignity2 and the prudent economy which my mother had practised1 served1 in the present instance1 as the pander to my vices4 ,the whole tendency of my education had been to inspire me with a proud and restless desire of distinction2 and ,i was not content to play a second part in the career of my vices1 as ,i should not have been content to play a second part in the genuine theatre of honour and fame4 ,in all that was thoughtlessly spirited and gaily profligate1 ,i led the way to my compeers1 and was constantly held up by them as an example4 ,by this conduct ,i incurred the censure of the rigorous and the old2 but the voice of censure reached me much seldomer than that of adulation4 ,my person and demeanour were the topics of general applause4 ,i was tall and well-proportioned2 my frame was slender and agile1 but with an appearance of the fullest health2 my countenance was open1 commanding1 and animated3 my rank and situation in the world gave me confidence2 the fire and impetuosity of my temper rendered my gestures easy1 rapid1 expressive1 and graceful4 ,the consequence of all this was1 to confirm me in a plan of life which ,i early laid down to myself1 and from which ,i never in any instance deviated4 ,i put aside those rules1 as splenetic and hypercritical1 which confessors preach1 and with which the preceptors of young men are accustomed to weary and alienate the minds of their pupils4 ,the charge of being disorderly and unthinking ,i despised2 that of imprudence1 even when meant for blame1 sounded in my ear like the voice of encomium4 ,but1 accustomed from education to sentiments of honour1 and from habit to the language of eulogy1 it is difficult for any man to be more firmly bent than ,i was to incur no breath of dishonour1 or to draw the line more peremptorily between the follies of youth and the aberrations of a gross and unprincipled spirit4 ,it may be alleged1 indeed1 and with considerable justice1 that the habit of gaming is an exception to this statement4 ,it was with hesitation and reluctance that ,i entered into this habit4 ,i saw it as it was1 and as every ingenuous and undebauched mind must see it1 base and sordid4 ,the possession of some degree of wealth ,i regarded1 indeed1 as indispensable to a man who would fill a lofty and respectable character in the world2 a character that1 by uniting the advantages of exterior appearance with the actions of a hero1 should extort the homage of his species4 ,but1 in the picture ,i drew of this man in my mind1 ,i considered wealth as an accident1 the attendant on his birth1 to be dispensed with dignity1 not to be adverted to with minuteness of attention4 ,deep play is certainly sufficiently inconsistent with this character4 ,the direct purpose of the gamester is to transfer money from the pocket of his neighbour into his own4 ,he rouses his sleepy and wearied attention by the most sordid of all motives4 ,the fear of losing pierces his heart with anguish2 and to gain--to obtain an advantage for himself which can scarcely exceed1 and which seldom equals1 the injury his competitor suffers1--is the circumstance which most transports his heart with delight4 ,for this he watches2 for this he calculates4 ,an honourable gamester does not seize with premeditation the moment when his adversary is deprived1 by wine or any other cause1 of his usual self-possession4 ,he does not seek with sober malice to play upon his passions4 ,he does not enter with avidity into the contest with an unpractised but presuming rival3 but he cannot avoid rejoicing1 when he finds that accident has given him an unusual advantage4 ,i have often thought that ,i could better understand how a man of honour could reconcile himself to the accursed and murderous trade of war1 than to the system of the gaming table4 ,in war1 he fights with a stranger1 a man with whom he has no habits of kindness1 and who is fairly apprised that he comes against him with ruinous intent4 ,but in play1 he robs1 perhaps1 his brother1 his friend1 the partner of his bosom2 or1 in every event1 a man seduced into the snare with all the arts of courtesy1 and whom he smiles upon1 even while he stabs4 ,i am talking here the mere reason and common sense of the question as it relates to mankind in general4 ,but it is with other feelings that ,i reflect upon the concern ,i have myself individually in the subject4 ,years roll on in vain2 ages themselves are useless here2 looking forward1 as ,i do1 to an existence that shall endure till time shall be no more2 no time can wipe away the remembrance of the bitter anguish that ,i have endured1 the consequence of gaming4 ,it is torture6 ,it is madness6 ,poverty1 ,i have drained thy cup to the dregs6 ,i have seen my wife and my children looking to me in vain for bread6 ,which is the most intolerable distress8--that of the period1 in which all the comforts of life gradually left me2 in which ,i caught at every fragment of promise1 and every fragment failed2 in which ,i rose every morning to pamper myself with empty delusions2 in which ,i ate the apples of purgatory1 fair without1 but within bitterness and ashes2 in which ,i tossed1 through endless1 sightless nights1 upon the couch of disappointment and despair8--or the period1 when at length all my hopes were at an end2 when ,i fled with horror to a foreign climate2 when my family1 that should have been my comfort1 gave me my most poignant agony2 when ,i looked upon them1 naked1 destitute1 and exiles1 with the tremendous thought1 what and who it was that had caused their ruin8 ,adversity1 without consolation1--adversity1 when its sting is remorse1 self-abhorrence and self-contempt1--hell has no misery by which it can be thrown into shade or exceeded6 ,why do ,i dwell upon1 or at least why do ,i anticipate1 this detested circumstance of my story8 ,let me add one remark in this place1 and pass on to the other particulars of this epoch of my prodigality4 ,it is true1 ,i must take this shameful appellation to myself--,i was a gamester4 ,but1 in the beginning1 ,i took no concern in that species of science which is often implied in the appellation4 ,my games were games of hazard1 not of skill4 ,it appeared to my distempered apprehension to be only a mode in which for a man to display his fortitude and philosophy2 ,i was flattered with the practice of gaming1 because ,i saw in it1 when gracefully pursued1 the magnanimity of the stoic1 combined with the manners of a man of the world2 a magnanimity that no success is able to intoxicate1 and no vicissitude to subvert4 ,i committed my property to the hazard of the die2 and ,i placed my ambition in laughing alike at the favours of fortune and her frowns4 ,in the sequel1 however1 ,i found myself deceived4 ,the fickle goddess sufficiently proved that she had the power of making me serious4 ,but in her most tremendous reverses1 ,i was never influenced to do any thing that the most scrupulous gamester regards as dishonourable4 ,i say not this for the purpose of giving colour and speciousness to my tale4 ,i say it1 because ,i have laid it down to myself in this narrative as a sacred principle1 to relate the simple1 unaltered truth4 ,another characteristic of the reign of ,francis the ,first1 is its gallantries4 ,it is well known how much the king was himself occupied with attachments of this sort2 his government was rather the government of women than of politicians2 and the manners of the sovereign strongly tended to fix the habits of his subjects4 ,a very young man rather takes the tone of his passions from those about him1 than forms one that is properly his own2 and this was my case in the present instance as well as in the preceding4 ,originally of an amorous constitution1 ,i should perhaps have quieted the restlessness of my appetites without ostentation and clat1 had not the conduct of my youthful associates in general led me to regard gallantry as an accomplishment indispensably necessary in a young man of rank4 ,it must be confessed1 indeed1 that this offence against the rigour of discipline has a thousand advantages over that of gaming4 ,few women of regular and reputable lives have that ease of manners1 that flow of fancy1 and that graceful intrepidity of thinking and expressing themselves1 that is sometimes to be found among those who have discharged themselves from the tyranny of custom4 ,there is something irresistibly captivating in that voluptuousness which1 while it assumes a certain air of freedom1 uniformly and with preference conforms itself to the dictates of unsophisticated delicacy4 ,a judicious and limited voluptuousness is necessary to the cultivation of the mind1 to the polishing of the manners1 to the refining of sentiment and the developement of the understanding2 and a woman deficient in this respect may be of use for the government of our families1 but can neither add to the enjoyments1 nor fix the partiality1 of a man of animation and taste4 ,but whatever there may be in these considerations1 certain it is that the conduct ,i pursued in matters of gallantry led me into great and serious expenses4 ,the mistresses with whom ,i chanced to associate had neither the inexpressible captivation of madame de ,chateaubriant1 nor the aspiring and impressive manners of the duchess d',etampes#g4 ,they had1 however1 beauty and vivacity1 frolic without rudeness1 and softness without timidity4 ,they had paid some regard to points of knowledge and taste1 considering these as additional means for fixing the partiality of their paramours1 and knowing that they had no security for the permanence of their prosperity but in the variety of their attractions4 ,in their society ,i was led into new trains of reflection1 a nicer consideration of human passion and the varieties of human character1 and1 above all1 into a greater quickness and delicacy in matters of intellectual taste4 ,my hours1 for the most part1 rolled swiftly and easily away1 sometimes in the society of the young1 the gay and the ambitious of my own sex1 and sometimes in the softer and more delicious intercourse of the fair4 ,i lived in the midst of all that ,paris could at that time furnish of splendid and luxurious4 ,this system of living was calculated to lull me in pleasing dreams1 and to waste away existence in delirious softness4 ,it sufficiently accorded with the sad period of our sovereign's captivity1 when my young compatriots sought to drown the sense of public and patriotic considerations in copious draughts of pleasure2 nor did the monarch's return immediately restore to ,france her former haughtiness and pride4 ,the course of sensuality in which ,i was now engaged1 though it did not absolutely sink into grossness1 may well be supposed to have trodden upon the very edge of licence4 ,i and my companions were young2 we were made fearless and presuming by fortune and by rank2 we had laid aside those more rigorous restraints which render the soberer part of mankind plausible and decent1 by making them timid and trite4 ,i will not contaminate the minds of my innocent and inexperienced readers by entering into the detail of the follies in which ,i engaged4 ,one thing it is necessary to remark1 as essential to the main thread of my story4 ,my expenses of all kinds1 during this period of self-desertion1 drained my resources1 but did not tarnish my good name4 ,my excesses were regarded by some as ornamental and becoming1 but by all were admitted as venial4 ,the laurels ,i had won in the field of military honour were not obscured by my subsequent conduct4 ,i was universally ranked among the most promising and honourable of the young noblemen of ,france4 ,i had some rivals2 ,i did not pass through this turbulent and diversified scene without disputes2 but no one cast a reflection upon my name1 no one ventured to speak of me with superciliousness and opprobrium4 ,nor was my temper more injured than my reputation4 ,from every dispute ,i extricated myself with grace and propriety2 ,i studied the pleasure and ease of all with whom ,i associated2 and no man enjoyed more extensively than ,i did the sweets of friendship1 as far as the sweets of friendship can be extensively enjoyed4 ,,chapter ,,iv4 ,i had been now two years in habits of life and a mode of expense extremely injurious to my patrimony1 when a circumstance occurred1 which promised completely to deliver me from the ruinous consequences of my own folly4 ,this was no other than my encounter with that incomparable woman1 who afterwards became the partner of my life1 and the mother of my children4 ,i cannot even now recollect her without tears3 the sentiment which her very name excites in my mind is a mingled feeling1 on the one hand1 of the most exquisite and unspeakable delight1 a feeling that elevates and expands and electrifies my throbbing heart2 and1 on the other1 of the bitterest anguish and regret4 ,i must develope the source of this feeling4 ,marguerite ,louise ,isabeau de ,damville was1 at the period of our first meeting1 in the nineteenth year of her age4 ,her complexion was of the most perfect transparency1 her eyes black and sparkling1 and her eyebrows dark and long4 ,such were the perfect smoothness and clearness of her skin1 that at nineteen she appeared five years younger than she was1 and she long retained this extreme juvenility of form4 ,her step was airy and light as that of a young fawn1 yet at the same time firm1 and indicative of strength of body and vigour of mind4 ,her voice1 like the whole of her external appearance1 was expressive of undesigning1 ,i had almost said childish1 simplicity4 ,yet1 with all this playfulness of appearance1 her understanding was bold and correct4 ,her mind was well furnished with every thing that could add to her accomplishments as a wife or a mother4 ,her indulgent parents had procured her every advantage of education1 and circumstances had been uncommonly favourable to her improvement4 ,she was encouraged and assisted in the art of drawing1 for which she discovered a very early talent1 by ,leonardo da ,vinci2 and she formed her poetical taste from the conversation and instructions of ,clement ,marot4 ,but1 amidst the singular assemblage of her intellectual accomplishments1 there was nothing by which she was so much distinguished1 as the uncommon prudence of her judgments1 and the unalterable amiableness of her manners4 ,this was the woman destined to crown my happiness1 and consummate my misery4 ,if ,i had never known her1 ,i should never have tasted true pleasure2 if ,i had been guided by her counsels1 ,i should not have drained to the very dregs the cup of anguish4 ,the house of her father1 the ,marquis de ,damville1 was the resort of all the most eminent wits and scholars of that period1 particularly of ,marot1 ,rabelais1 ,erasmus and ,scaliger4 ,this was my first inducement to frequent it4 ,my education had inspired me with an inextinguishable love of literature2 and the dissipation in which ,i was at this time involved could not entirely interrupt the propensity4 ,the most thoughtless and extravagant period of my life had occasional intervals of study and reflection2 and the gay1 animated1 and ingenious conversation of the men ,i have mentioned1 had always peculiar charms for me4 ,i had continued for some time to visit at the ,marquis's hotel1 before ,i encountered the beautiful ,marguerite4 ,the first time ,i saw her1 she made a deep impression upon me4 ,the ,marquis1 who was one of the most benevolent and enlightened of mankind1 had been led by my character and manners to conceive a warm friendship for me4 ,he saw the ruin in which ,i was heedlessly involving myself1 and believed that it was not yet too late to save me4 ,as he thought that there was no method so likely to effect my reformation as the interposition of domestic affections1 he was not unwilling to encourage the attachment ,i began to feel for his daughter4 ,on my part ,i wanted but little encouragement4 ,i no sooner observed her manners1 and became acquainted with her merits1 than my heart was unalterably fixed4 ,i became as it were a new man4 ,i was like one1 who1 after his eyes had grown imperceptibly dim till at length every object appeared indistinct and of a gloomy general hue1 has his sight instantaneously restored1 and beholds the fabric of the universe in its genuine clearness1 brilliancy1 and truth4 ,i was astonished at my own folly1 that ,i could so long have found gratification in pleasures mean and sensual4 ,i was ashamed of my own degradation4 ,i could not endure the comparison between the showy1 unsubstantial attractions of the women ,i had hitherto frequented1 and the charms of the adorable ,marguerite4 ,the purity of her mind seemed to give a celestial brilliancy and softness to the beauties of her person4 ,the gross and brutal pursuits of the debauchee are often indeed described by the same epithets as the virtuous and refined passion with which ,i was now for the first time inspired2 but experience convinced me that they differed in their most essential features4 ,the ,marquis saw the state of my mind1 and addressed me thus4 8,count10 said he1 8,i feel the most ardent friendship for you4 ,i am inexpressibly concerned for your welfare4 ,you will be convinced of this1 when ,i have furnished you with a clue to my late conduct towards you4 ,i regard you1 if not as a ruined man1 at least as a man in the high road to ruin4 ,your present habits are of the most dangerous sort2 they appear to you perfectly conformable to principles of the strictest honour2 nay1 they come recommended to you by a certain clat and dignity with which they seem to be surrounded4 ,i could say to you1 ,recollect yourself4 ,be not misled by delusive appearances4 ,consider the present state of your fortune1 and the state in which your mother left it4 ,you cannot be ignorant how greatly it is impaired4 ,how has this circumstance arisen8 ,have your revenues been expended in the service of your country8 ,have you purchased any thing by them that will confer on you lasting renown8 ,put together the sum of actions1 which1 piece by piece1 you have been willing to regard as indifferent and innocent1 if not as graceful and becoming4 ,you cannot but be struck with their monstrous deformity4 ,is it possible that you can be ignorant of the nature of poverty8 ,there is such a thing as honourable poverty4 ,the poverty of ,cincinnatus was honourable1 who impoverished himself by paying the fine which was factiously imposed on his son1 and then was contented to pass his time alternately between the highest situations and the most rigid simplicity4 ,the poverty of a man of genius1 such as ,rabelais1 if not honourable1 is interesting1 when we compare his merits and worth with that of many of those persons upon whom fortune has blindly lavished her favours4 ,it is honourable1 if he have declined the means of enriching himself by the sacrifice of his independence and his principles4 ,but of all earthly things the most contemptible is the man who1 having wasted his goods in riotous living1 yet hungers after the luxuries that have proved his bane1 and feasts himself upon the steam of dainties of which he has lost the substance4 ,poverty1 always sufficiently disadvantageous in a degenerate age1 where attention and courtship are doled forth with scales of gold1 is tremendous to him4 ,he is the scorn of all mankind4 ,wherever he is a guest1 he is invited only to be trampled upon and insulted4 ,he is capable of nothing1 and is a burden to society and mankind4 ,the helplessness of age advances upon him with stealing steps1 and he is destined to gather all its miseries and none of its consolations4 8,i might have talked to you thus1 but ,i refused it4 ,i apprehend something of the nature of advice4 ,i know that it can seldom be attended with its genuine effect1 and will never be received with deference and pleasure1 where its motives are capable of misconstruction4 ,if ,i had talked to you thus1 ,i might have appeared to be indulging the tyranny of age2 ,i might have seemed to assume an unbecoming air of superiority and command3 it could not have been clear that ,i was honestly interested in that1 about which ,i affected so much concern4 ,i doubt not the ingenuousness of your nature4 ,i doubt not that you would have been struck with the picture4 ,but ,i must be permitted to doubt the adequate and lasting effect of my expostulation4 ,i was not willing by my forwardness and loquacity to wear out one of the great springs of human improvement4 8,i have determined on your reform4 ,for that purpose ,i think it necessary to combine my remonstrances and advice1 with a change of your habits and situation4 ,you have tasted largely of what are commonly called the pleasures of life1 but there are pleasures that you have not tasted4 ,at this moment you anticipate them2 and anticipate them with the ardour of a lover4 ,but you know not yet all the gratifications that attend upon domestic affections4 8,i am willing to bestow upon you my daughter4 ,i consent to prove the purity of my advice1 and the sincerity of my regard1 by committing her happiness to the risk4 ,she is a treasure1 the equal of which perhaps the world does not hold4 ,i speak not of her personal attractions4 ,but in understanding1 accomplishments1 and virtue1 ,i firmly believe no woman living can compare with her4 ,in possessing her1 you will be blessed beyond the lot of princes4 ,but1 at the same time that ,i shall thus put happiness within your grasp1 remember that ,i commit to your disposal the happiness of ,marguerite4 ,you are a worthy and an honourable man2 your talents and your virtues will constitute her felicity4 ,her portion will redeem the injury which your patrimony has suffered from your excesses1 and you will have enough for yourselves1 and for your mutual offspring4 ,i cannot believe that1 with such a deposit intrusted to you1 you will consent to bring her to misery and ruin4 8,i have one condition1 however1 to stipulate with you4 ,i require of you1 as the pledge of her happiness1 that you break off your present modes of life2 that you separate yourself from your connections1 and retire into the country upon your paternal estate4 ,you are yet too young to be in danger from that tyranny of custom1 which often renders men more advanced in life incapable of relishing the simple and genuine pleasures4 ,you will find contentment and joy in the society of my daughter1 and in the bosom of your rising family4 ,you will be happy in the circle of your own hearth1 and have little to ask of the rest of mankind4 ,if1 in any ill-omened and inauspicious moment1 the allurements of your present vices 7forgive the plainness of my speech7 should resume their power over you1 ,i hope at least that ,i shall never live to see it2 that ,i shall not be taught by bitter experience1 that ,i have sacrificed to the disinterestedness of my friendship the happiness of my daughter and of my posterity60 ,my heart weeps blood1 while ,i record the admonitions of this noble and generous man4 ,a nobler ,france did not contain through all her boundaries4 ,refined by literature1 polished by the best society his age could afford1 grown grey in the field of honour1 and particularly distinguished by the personal attachment and confidence of his sovereign4 ,what was all this advice to me8 ,what return did ,i make to this unparalleled kindness and friendship8 ,i ruined this admirable woman6 ,i involved her in poverty and shame6 ,with the most savage barbarity ,i prepared for her an immature grave6 ,can ,i forget this8 ,of what avail to me are immortal life and immortal youth8 ,oh1 ,marguerite1 ,marguerite6 ,for ever thy image haunts me6 ,for ever thy ghost upbraids me6 ,how little have ,i proved myself worthy of such a partner6 ,rather what punishment1 what plagues1 what shame and detestation have ,i not deserved6 ,praised be ,heaven1 the last prayer of the ,marquis of ,damville at least was granted6 ,he did not live to witness my relapse1 my profligacy1 and insanity4 ,i resume the thread of my story4--,i listened to the address of the ,marquis with reverence and admiration4 ,i accepted his conditions with joy4 ,i married his adorable daughter1 and conducted her to my paternal estate in the ,bourdelois4 ,now only it was that ,i tasted of perfect happiness4 ,to judge from my own experience in this situation1 ,i should say1 that nature has atoned for all the disasters and miseries she so copiously and incessantly pours upon her sons1 by this one gift1 the transcendent enjoyment and nameless delights which1 wherever the heart is pure and the soul is refined1 wait on the attachment of two persons of opposite sexes4 ,my beloved ,marguerite guided and directed me1 at the same time that she was ever studying my gratification4 ,i instructed her by my experience1 while she enlightened me by the rectitude and decision of her taste4 ,ours was a sober and dignified happiness1 and its very sobriety served to give it additional voluptuousness4 ,we had each our separate pursuits1 whether for the cultivation of our minds1 or the promotion of our mutual interests4 ,separation gave us respectability in each other's eyes1 while it prepared us to enter with fresh ardour into society and conversation4 ,in company with each other1 hours passed over us1 and appeared but minutes4 ,it has been said to be a peculiar felicity for any one to be praised by a man who is himself eminently a subject of praise3 how much happier to be prized and loved by a person worthy of love8 ,a man may be prized and valued by his friend2 but in how different a style of sentiment from the regard and attachment that may reign in the bosom of his mistress or his wife8 ,self-complacency and self-satisfaction may perhaps be numbered among the principal sources of contentment4 ,it is necessary for him who would endure existence with patience1 that he should conceive himself to be something1--that he should be persuaded he is not a cipher in the muster-roll of man4 ,how bitter is the anguish we are sometimes doomed to sustain in this respect from the marks we receive of other men's indifference and contempt8 ,to feel that we are loved by one whose love we have deserved1 to be employed in the mutual interchange of the marks of this love1 habitually to study the happiness of one by whom our happiness is studied in return1 this is the most desirable1 as it is the genuine and unadulterated condition of human nature4 ,i must have some one to sympathise with2 ,i cannot bear to be cut off from all relations3 ,i desire to experience a confidence1 a concord1 an attachment1 that cannot rise between common acquaintance4 ,in every state we long for some fond bosom on which to rest our weary head2 some speaking eye with which to exchange the glances of intelligence and affection4 ,then the soul warms and expands itself2 then it shuns the observation of every other beholder2 then it melts with feelings that are inexpressible1 but that the heart understands without the aid of words2 then the eyes swim with rapture2 then the frame languishes with enjoyment2 then the soul burns with fire2 then the two persons thus blest are no longer two2 distance vanishes1 one thought animates1 one mind informs them4 ,thus love acts2 thus it is ripened to perfection2 never does man feel himself so much alive1 so truly etherial1 as when1 bursting the bonds of diffidence1 uncertainty and reserve1 he pours himself entire into the bosom of the woman he adores4 ,marguerite de ,damville was particularly distinguished from every other woman ,i ever knew by the justness of her taste and the vividness of her feelings4 ,this circumstance was a fund of inexhaustible delight and improvement to me4 ,we were both of us well acquainted with the most eminent poets and fine writers of modern times4 ,but when we came to read them together1 they presented themselves in a point of view in which they had never been seen by us before4 ,it is1 perhaps1 more important that poetry1 and every thing that excites the imagination or appeals to the heart1 should be read in solitude1 than in society4 ,but the true way to understand our author in these cases1 is to employ each of these modes in succession4 ,the terrible1 the majestic1 the voluptuous and the melting1 are all of them1 in a considerable degree1 affairs of sympathy2 and we never judge of them so infallibly1 or with so much satisfaction1 as when1 in the presence of each other1 the emotion is kindled in either bosom at the same instant1 the eye-beams1 pregnant with sentiment and meaning1 involuntarily meet and mingle2 the voice of the reader becomes modulated by the ideas of his author1 and that of the hearer1 by an accidental interjection of momentary comment or applause1 confesses its accord4 ,it was in this manner that we read together the admirable sonnets of ,petrarch1 and passed in review the sublime effusions of ,dante4 ,the letters of ,eloisa to ,abelard afforded us singular delight4 ,we searched into the effusions of the ,troubadours1 and1 among all their absurdities and inequality1 we found a wildness1 a daring pouring forth of the soul1 an unpruned richness of imagination1 and1 from time to time1 a grandeur of conception and audacious eccentricity of thought1 that filled us with unlooked for transport4 ,at other times1 when not regularly engaged in this species of reading1 we would repeat passages to each other1 communicate the discoveries of this sort that either had made in solitude1 and point out unobserved beauties1 that perhaps neither of us would have remarked1 but for the suggestions of the other4 ,it is impossible for two persons to be constituted so much alike1 but that one of them should have a more genuine and instantaneous relish for one sort of excellence1 and another for another4 ,thus we added to each other's stores1 and acquired a largeness of conception and liberality of judgment that neither of us would have arrived at if separate4 ,it is difficult to imagine how prolific this kind of amusement proved of true happiness4 ,we were mutually delighted to remark the accord of our feelings1 and still more so1 as we perceived that accord to be hourly increasing1 and what struck either as a blemish in the other1 wearing out and disappearing4 ,we were also led by the same means to advert to the powers of mind existing in each1 the rectitude of judgment and delicacy of feeling4 ,as our attachment hourly increased1 we rejoiced in this reciprocation of benefits1 while each gave or received something that added to value of mind and worth of character4 ,mutual esteem was incessantly kept alive1 and mutual esteem is the only substantial basis of love4 ,each of us hourly blessed our common lot1 while each believed it impracticable elsewhere to have found so much worth blended with so much sweetness4 ,but we did not confine ourselves to the library and fireside4 ,we walked1 we rode1 we travelled together2 we observed together the beauties of nature1 and the system of the universe2 we traversed many provinces of ,france1 and some parts of ,italy and ,spain2 we examined the characters of mankind1 as they are modified by the varieties of natural descent1 or the diversities of political government4 ,in all this we found peculiar gratification4 ,there is something in the scent and impression of a balmy atmosphere1 in the lustre of sunshine1 in the azure heaven and the purple clouds1 in the opening of prospects on this side and on that1 in the contemplation of verdure and fertility1 and industry and simplicity and cheerfulness1 in all their variations1 in the very act and exercise of travelling1 peculiarly congenial to the human frame4 ,it expands the heart1 it makes the spirit dance1 and exquisitely disposes us for social enjoyment4 ,the mind becomes more elevated and refined1 it assumes a microscopical and unwonted sensibility2 it feels things which1 in ordinary moments1 are unheeded and unknown2 it enjoys things too evanescent for a name1 and too minute to be arrested2 it trembles with pleasure through every fibre and every articulation4 ,one thing is necessary to be mentioned in this place1 though1 while it adds to the fidelity of delineation1 ,i am aware it breaks the tone of feeling1 and the harmony of the picture4 ,but it is not my intention in this history to pass myself for better than ,i am4 ,i have laid down to myself the sacred maxim of absolute truth and impartiality4 ,i must confess1 therefore1 with whatever anguish1 my extreme inferiority to my incomparable partner4 ,she had all the simplicity of genuine taste4 ,the more she delivered herself up to nature1 the greater was her content4 ,all superfluous appendages and show appeared to her as so many obstacles to enjoyment4 ,she derived her happiness from the tone of her own mind1 and stood in no need of the gaping admiration and stupid wonder of others to make her feel herself happy4 ,but ,i retained the original vice of my mind4 ,the gestures of worship and the voice of applause were necessary to me4 ,i did not suffice to myself4 ,i was not satisfied with the tranquil and inglorious fruition of genuine pleasures1 forgetting the vain and anxious tumult of the world1 and forgotten by those who figured on its theatre4 ,it may be1 that ,marguerite could1 and ought1 by insensible degrees1 to have rooted out this disease of my mind4 ,but ,i am concerned only with the statement of facts2 and ,i know that no such thing was the effect of our intercourse4 ,this absurd passion did not1 however1 at this time1 lead me to any fatal extremities4 ,it contented itself with the frivolous gratification resulting from a certain portion of ostentation and expense4 ,i maintained a considerable train of servants3 my apartments were magnificent1 and my furniture splendid4 ,when we travelled1 it was with an attendance little short of princely4 ,idiot that ,i was1 to regard this as an addition to the genuine pleasures which ,i have above enumerated6 ,when we were at home1 every accidental guest was received and entertained with extraordinary pomp1 a pomp not directed to add to his accommodation1 but that was designed to leave him impressed with astonishment and admiration at the spirit of his host4 ,often1 indeed1 did ,i feel this ostentation an encumbrance3 often did ,i languish for the ease and freedom which result from a mediocrity of circumstances4 ,but this ,i called1 doing honour to my ancestors and my country1 and vindicating the consideration due to the house of ,st4 ,leon4 ,to quit this painful recollection4--,a circumstance which tended at this time to fill the measure of my happiness1 consisted in the dear pledges which ,marguerite bore me of our mutual affection4 ,it is impossible for him who has not experienced it1 to conceive the accumulation which a genuine tenderness derives from this source4 ,the difficulties are many that attend upon pregnancy2 trifles are at that period sources of fatigue and injury2 it is necessary that the person should be protected1 and the mind tranquil4 ,we love to watch over a delicate plant1 that appears to call for all our anxiety and attention4 ,there is in this case the sentiment1 without the repulsive circumstances that attends upon our sympathy with a dangerous and alarming disease4 ,marguerite1 by her sensibility and growing attachment1 abundantly rewarded my cares4 ,at length the critical period arrives1 when an event so extraordinary occurs1 as cannot fail to put the human frame in considerable jeopardy4 ,never shall ,i forget the interview between us immediately subsequent to her first parturition1 the effusion of soul with which we met each other after all danger seemed to have subsided1 the kindness which animated us1 increased as it was by ideas of peril and suffering1 the sacred sensation with which the mother presented her infant to her husband1 or the complacency with which we read in each other's eyes a common sentiment of melting tenderness and inviolable attachment6 ,this1 she seemed to say1 is the joint result of our common affection4 ,it partakes equally of both1 and is the shrine in which our sympathies and our life have been poured together1 never to be separated4 ,let other lovers testify their engagements by presents and tokens2 we record and stamp our attachment in this precious creature1 a creature of that species which is more admirable than any thing else the world has to boast1 a creature susceptible of pleasure and pain1 of affection and love1 of sentiment and fancy1 of wisdom and virtue4 ,this creature will daily stand in need of an aid we shall delight to afford2 will require our meditations and exertions to forward its improvement1 and confirm its merits and its worth4 ,we shall each blend our exertions1 for that purpose1 and our union1 confirmed by this common object of our labour and affection1 will every day become more sacred and indissoluble4--,all this the present weakness of my beloved ,marguerite would not allow her to say4 ,but all this occurred to my reflections2 and1 when we had time tranquilly to compare our recollection of the event1 it plainly appeared that in all this our hearts and conceptions had most truly sympathised4 ,the possessing a third object1 a common centre of anxiety to both1 is far from weakening the regard of such a couple for each other4 ,it does not separate or divert them2 it is a new link of connection4 ,each is attached to it the more for the sake of either2 each regards it as a sort of branch or scion1 representing the parent2 each rejoices in its health1 its good humour1 its smiles1 its increase in size1 in strength1 and in faculties1 principally from the idea of the gratification they will communicate to the other4 ,were it not for this idea1 were it possible the pleasure should not be mutual1 the sentiment would be stripped of its principal elevation and refinement2 it would be comparatively cold1 selfish1 solitary1 and inane4 ,in the first ten years of our marriage my wife brought me five children1 two sons and three daughters4 ,the second son only died in his infancy4 ,my predominant passion at this time was that of domestic pleasures and employments1 and ,i devoted myself1 jointly with the mother1 to the cultivation of the minds of my children4 ,they all in a considerable degree rewarded our care2 they were all amiable4 ,taught by the example of their parents1 they lived in uncommon harmony and affection4 ,charles1 the eldest1 was a lad of a bold and active disposition2 but the sentiments of virtue and honour that were infused into him1 both by ,marguerite and myself1 found a favourable reception1 and promised to render those qualities1 which1 if left to themselves1 might have been turbulent and dangerous1 productive of the happiest consequences4 ,julia1 his eldest sister1 was uncommonly mild and affectionate1 alive to the slightest variations of treatment1 profoundly depressed by every mark of unkindness1 but exquisitely sensible to demonstrations of sympathy and attachment4 ,she appeared little formed to struggle with the difficulties of life and the frowns of the world2 but1 in periods of quietness and tranquillity nothing could exceed the sweetness of her character and the fascination of her manners4 ,her chief attachment was to her mother1 though she was by no means capable of her mother's active beneficence and heroic fortitude4 ,louisa1 the second daughter1 resembled her mother in person1 and promised to resemble her in character4 ,marguerite1 the youngest1 differed from the whole family1 in the playfulness and frolic of her disposition4 ,her vivacity was inexhaustible1 and was continually displaying itself in innocent tricks1 and smart1 unexpected sallies4 ,nothing could possibly be more ingenuous than this admirable infant2 nothing more kind1 considerate1 and enthusiastic in her tenderness and grief1 when an occasion occurred to call forth these sentiments4 ,but the moment the sorrowful occasion was over1 she would resume all her vivacity2 and even sometimes1 in the midst of her tears1 some trait of her native humour would escape4 ,i know not whether all the family were not more attached to the little ,marguerite than to any other individual member1 as she certainly oftenest contributed to their amusement and pleasure4--,such was the amiable circle1 one and all of whom have been involved by me in the most tremendous ruin and disgrace4 ,,chapter ,v4 ,charles was now nine years of age4 ,his mother and myself had delighted ourselves with observing and forwarding the opening of his infant mind1 and had hitherto been contented with the assistance of a neighbouring priest by way of preceptor4 ,but1 as he was our only son1 we were desirous that he should obtain every advantage of education4 ,we were neither of us illiterate2 but1 in the course of twenty-three years1 which had elapsed since ,i was myself of ,charles's age1 the progress of literature and the literary passion in ,europe had been astonishingly great1 and ,i was anxious that he should realise in his own person every benefit which the fortunate and illustrious period of human affairs in which he began to exist seemed to hold out to him4 ,beside1 there was an impetuosity and forwardness in his character1 that seemed ill to brook the profound solitude and retirement in which his mother and ,i were contented to live4 ,his case demanded companions of his own age1 a little world of fellow-beings1 with whom he might engage in their petty business and cares1 with whose passions his own might jostle or might sympathise1 who might kindle his emulation1 and open to him the field of fraternal associations and amity4 ,there was1 however1 a considerable difficulty attendant on this question4 ,the schools of real literature in ,france1 where languages were properly taught1 and science might be acquired1 were at this time exceedingly few4 ,the nearest university was that of ,toulouse1 at the distance of twenty-six leagues4 ,this was1 practically speaking1 as far from us as ,paris itself4 ,was then our darling child to be torn from his parents1 from all he was accustomed to see1 and all by whom he was loved1 to be planted in the midst of strangers1 to have his mind excited to observation1 and the spirit of generous contention roused1 at the risk of suppressing the tender affections of his soul1 and the sentiments of duty1 reliance1 and love8 ,there seemed1 however1 to be no alternative4 ,it was necessary that a temporary separation should take place4 ,intellectual improvement was a point by all means to be pursued2 and we must direct our efforts to keep alive along with it those winning qualities1 and that softness of heart1 which had hitherto rendered ,charles so eminently our delight4 ,such were our fond speculations and projects for the future4 ,it was at length determined that ,i should proceed along with him to ,paris4 ,i could there observe upon the spot the state of the university1 and the means of learning that existed in the metropolis2 and could consult with some of those eminent luminaries with whom ,i had become acquainted at the house of the ,marquis de ,damville4 ,marguerite declined accompanying me upon this occasion4 ,her father was dead3 she could not think of quitting her daughters for any considerable time2 and our nuptial engagement of residing always in the country gave her a repugnance to the removing with her whole family to ,paris4 ,it was left probable that she might come to me when the business was settled1 if at that time it was determined to leave her son at the capital2 and that she might then reconduct me to the place1 which had been the scene of all my happiness1 but which ,i was destined never to revisit in peace4 ,preliminaries being at length fully adjusted in the manner that appeared suitable to the importance of the occasion1 ,i set off for the metropolis of my country1 which ,i had seen only once1 and that for a very short period1 in the course of ten years4 ,that visit had been produced by a very melancholy circumstance1 the death of the ,marquis de ,damville4 ,marguerite and myself had then been summoned1 and arrived at his hotel but a few days before he expired4 ,though extremely weakened by the mortal disease under which he laboured1 he retained all the faculties of his mind1 and conversed with us in the most affectionate and endearing terms4 ,he congratulated us upon our mutual felicity2 nor could the situation in which we found him1 upon the brink of an everlasting oblivion of all earthly things1 abate the sincerity and fervour of his delight4 ,he thanked me for my carriage and conduct as a husband1 which1 he said1 might with propriety be held up as a model to the human species4 ,he applauded himself for that mingled discernment and determination1 which1 as he affirmed1 had so opportunely secured my virtue and his daughter's happiness4 ,he trusted that ,i was now sufficiently weaned from those habits which had formerly given him so much alarm4 ,at the same time he conjured me1 by every motive that an overflowing enthusiasm could suggest1 to persist in my good resolutions1 and never to change that residence1 where ,i had found every degree of delight of which the human mind is in its present condition susceptible4 8,do not10 said he1 8be drawn aside by ambition2 do not be dazzled by the glitter of idle pomp and decoration2 do not enter the remotest circle of the vortex of dissipation6 ,live in the midst of your family2 cultivate domestic affection2 be the solace and joy of your wife2 watch for the present and future welfare of your children2 and be assured that you will then be found no contemptible or unbeneficial member of the community at large60 ,such were the last advices of the ,marquis de ,damville4 ,excellent man6 how ill were your lessons remembered6 how ill your kindness remunerated6 ,he died in the sixth year of our marriage4 ,the serious impression which this event produced in my mind gave me small inclination to enter into any species of society1 and disposed me to quit ,paris as soon as every respect had been paid to the obsequies of the deceased4 ,upon my arrival in the metropolis on the present occasion1 ,i immediately sought to renew my acquaintance with those amiable and eminent persons1 who had for the most part constituted the circle of the ,marquis de ,damville4 ,they received me with that interest and attention that ,i have usually found attendant on a cultivated mind4 ,the pleasure was considerable1 that resulted from meeting them thus again1 after ten years' cessation of intercourse4 ,a few of them1 indeed1 were dead1 and others dispersed by various accidents in different parts of ,france or of ,europe4 ,the greater part1 however1 ,i still found in that celebrated city1 which might well be considered as the metropolis of the civilised world4 ,the king had early been distinguished by his love of letters and the arts2 and added years1 while they abated in his mind the eagerness of ambition and glory1 gave new strength to his more cultivated propensities4 ,the liberality of his conduct1 and the polished ease that characterised his manners1 produced a general predilection in favour of the capital in which he resided4 ,i found all my former friends matured and improved by the silent influence of time4 ,their knowledge was increased2 their views rendered wider2 their conversation was more amusing and instructive1 their manners more bland and unaffected4 ,but1 if their characters had experienced revolution1 mine was more materially changed4 ,i had before encountered them with all the heat and presumption of youth1 with no views so much present to my mind as those of chivalry and a factitious honour1 with no experience but that of a camp4 ,i was impetuous1 volatile1 and dissipated4 ,i had not rested long enough upon any one of the flowers of intellect to extract its honey2 and my mind was kept in a state of preternatural agitation by the passions of a gamester4 ,it was now become cool1 moderate1 and tranquil4 ,the society of ,marguerite had contributed much to the improvement of my character2 ,i had lived in no idle and brutish solitude1 but in the midst of contemplation and letters2 and ,i had the passions of a husband and a father1 in the extremest degree attached to his family4 ,these passions will be found1 perhaps1 to be the true school of humanity3 the man1 whose situation continually exercises in him the softest and most amiable charities of our nature1 will almost infallibly surpass his brethren in kindness to sympathise with1 and promptness to relieve1 the distresses of others4 ,will it be accounted strange that1 in ,paris1 surrounded by persons of various knowledge and liberal benevolence1 ,i found myself under the influence of other feelings1 than any ,i had lately experienced8 ,i was like a man who had suffered long calamity in a famished vessel or a town besieged1 and is immediately after introduced into the midst of luxury1 to a table loaded with the most costly dainties4 ,every viand has to his apprehension an exquisite relish1 and every wine a delicious flavour1 that he never perceived in them before4 ,let no one infer that my love for ,marguerite was diminished2 it has already sufficiently appeared in the course of my narrative1 that no happiness could be more consummate than mine was with this admirable woman4 ,had ,i been called upon to choose for the seat of my future life1 between my paternal chteau in the ,bordelois1 with ,marguerite to grace my abode1 on the one hand2 and all the gratifications that ,paris could afford1 on the other1 ,i should not have hesitated even for an instant4 ,but the mind of man is made capacious of various pleasures2 and a person of sound and uncorrupted judgment will perhaps always enjoy with emotion the delights which for a long time before he had not encountered1 however enviable his content may have been under their absence4 ,i delighted to converse with the men of genius and refinement with whom ,paris at this time abounded4 ,it was a feast of soul of which ,i had rarely partaken in my rural retreat4 ,i delighted to combine excellence with number1 and1 to a considerable degree at least1 variety of intercourse with sentiments of regard and friendship4 ,in these select societies ,i found no cold suppressions and reserve4 ,their members were brethren in disposition1 similar in their pursuits1 and congenial in their sentiments4 ,when any one spoke1 it was that the person to whom he addressed himself might apprehend what was passing in his thoughts4 ,they participated with sincerity and a liberal mind in each other's feelings1 whether of gay delight or melancholy disappointment4 ,thus situated1 ,i forgot for a time my engagements with ,marguerite4 ,the scenes of ,st4 ,leon1 its fields1 its walks1 its woods and its streams1 faded from my mind4 ,i forgot the pleasure with which ,i had viewed my children sporting on the green1 and the delicious1 rural suppers which ,i had so often partaken with my wife beneath my vines and my fig-trees at the period of the setting sun4 ,when ,i set out for ,paris1 these images had dwelt upon my mind1 and saddened my fancy4 ,at every stage ,i felt myself removed still further from the scene where my treasures and my affections were deposited4 ,but1 shortly after1 new scenes and new employments engaged my thoughts4 ,the pleasures which ,i sought but weakly at first1 every time they were tasted increased my partiality for them4 ,i seemed for a time to be under the influence of an oblivion of my former life4 ,thus circumstanced1 the folly which had so deep a root in my character1 took hold of me4 ,i hired a magnificent hotel1 and entertained at my own expense those persons in whose society ,i principally delighted4 ,my circles became more numerous than those of the ,marquis de ,damville1 and were conducted in a very different style of splendour and profusion4 ,i corresponded with ,marguerite2 but ,i continually found some new pretext for lengthening my stay2 and she on her part1 though the kindest and most indulgent of women1 became seriously alarmed and unhappy4 ,as my parties were more numerous than those of the ,marquis de ,damville had been1 they were more mixed4 ,among others1 ,i occasionally associated with some of those noblemen who had been the companions of my former dissipation and gaming4 ,an obvious consequence resulted from this4 ,parties of play were occasionally proposed to me4 ,i resisted--,i yielded4 ,my first compliances were timid1 hesitating1 and painful4 ,i recollected the lessons and exhortations of my excellent father-in-law4 ,at length1 however1 my alarms abated4 ,i reproached myself with the want of an honourable confidence in my own firmness1 and the cowardice of supposing that ,i was not to be trusted with the direction of my conduct4 ,one evening ,i ventured beyond the cautious limits ,i had at first prescribed myself1 and won a considerable sum4 ,this incident produced a strong impression upon me1 and filled my mind with tumult and agitation4 ,there was a secret that ,i had concealed almost from myself1 but which now recurred to me with tenfold violence4 ,i was living beyond the means ,i had to discharge my expenses4 ,my propensity of this sort seemed to be fatal and irresistible4 ,my marriage with ,marguerite had occurred opportunely1 to heal the breaches ,i had at that time made in my fortune1 and to take from me the consciousness of embarrassments which ,i should otherwise have deeply felt4 ,the death of the ,marquis1 however deplorable in other respects1 happened at a period when the spirit of profusion and magnificence which characterised me had again involved my affairs in considerable difficulty4 ,it might be supposed that these two cases of experience would have sufficed to extirpate my folly2 but they had rather the contrary effect4 ,in each of them the event was such as to prevent extravagance and thoughtlessness from producing their genuine results2 and1 of consequence1 they appeared less criminal and mischievous in my eyes than otherwise they probably would have appeared4 ,i rather increased than diminished my establishment upon the death of my father-in-law4 ,i had no reasonable prospect of any property hereafter to descend to me1 that should exonerate me from the consequences of further prodigality4 ,but ,i did not advert to this4 ,i saw myself surrounded by my children2 they were the delight and solace of my life2 and yet ,i was needless of their interests4 ,sometimes ,i resolved upon a more rigid economy3 but economy is a principle that does not easily lay hold of any but a heart framed to receive it4 ,it is a business of attentive and vigilant detail4 ,it easily escapes the mind1 amidst the impetuosity of the passions1 the obstinacy of rooted propensities1 and the seduction of long established habits4 ,marguerite1 indeed1 did not share with me in these follies2 the simplicity and ingenuousness of her mind were such1 that she would have been as happy in a cottage as a palace2 but1 though she did not partake my vices1 an ill-judged forbearance and tenderness for my feelings did not permit her effectually to counteract them4 ,this is1 perhaps1 the only defect of character ,i am able to impute to her4 ,after ,i had won the sum to which ,i have alluded1 ,i retired to my hotel full of anxious thoughts4 ,it produced upon me1 in some degree1 the same effect as ordinarily belongs to a great calamity4 ,i lay all night sleepless and disturbed4 ,ruin and despair presented themselves to my mind in a thousand forms4 ,heedless prodigality and dilapidated revenues passed in review before me4 ,i counted the years of my life4 ,i had completed the thirty-second year of my age3 this was scarcely half the probable duration of human existence4 ,how was ,i to support the remaining period1 a period little assorted to difficulties and expedients2 and which1 in the close of it1 seems imperiously to call for every indulgence8 ,hitherto1 an interval of four or five years had repeatedly sufficed to involve me in serious embarrassment4 ,my children were growing up around me2 my family was likely to become still larger2 as my offspring increased in years1 their demands upon my revenues would be more considerable4 ,were these demands to be slighted8 ,were my daughters1 nay1 was the heir of my rank and my name1 to be committed to the compassion of the world1 unprovided and forlorn8 ,what a cheerless prospect6 ,what a gloomy and disconsolate hue did these ideas spread upon that future1 which the health of the human mind requires to have gilded with the beams of hope and expectation8 ,i had already tried the expedient of economy2 and ,i had uniformly found this inestimable and only sheet-anchor of prudence gliding from my deluded grasp4 ,could ,i promise myself better success in future8 ,there seemed to be something in my habits1 whether of inattention1 ostentation1 or inconsistency1 that baffled the strongest motives by which parsimony and frugality can be enforced4 ,why did these thoughts importunately recur to me in the present moment8 ,they were the suggestions of a malignant genius1--thoughts1 the destination of which was to lead me into a gulf of misery and guilt6 ,while ,i was going on in a regular train of expense1 while ,i was scooping the mine that was to swallow me and my hopes together1 ,i had the art to keep these reflections at bay4 ,now that ,i had met with an unexpected piece of good fortune1 they rushed upon me with irresistible violence4 ,unfortunate coincidence6 ,miserable1--rather let me say1 guilty1 abandoned miscreant6 ,as soon as ,i rose in the morning1 ,i went to the closet where1 the evening before1 ,i had deposited my recent acquisitions4 ,i spread out the gold before me4 ,i gazed upon it with intentness4 ,my eyes1 a moment after1 rolled in vacancy4 ,i traversed the apartment with impatient steps4 ,all the demon seemed to make his descent upon my soul4 ,this was the first time that ,i had ever felt the struggle of conscious guilt and dishonour4 ,i was far indeed from anticipating that species of guilt1 and that species of ruin1 which soon after overwhelmed me4 ,my mind did not once recur to the possibility of any serious mischief4 ,i dwelt only1 as gamesters perhaps usually do1 upon the alternative between acquisition and no acquisition4 ,i did not take into the account the ungovernableness of my own passions4 ,i assumed it as unquestionable1 that ,i could stop when ,i pleased4 ,the thoughts that tortured me were1 in the first place1 those of a sanguine and unexperienced adventurer in a lottery1 whose mind rests not for a moment upon the sum he has risked1 but who1 having in fancy the principal prize already in his possession1 and having distributed it to various objects and purposes1 sometimes fearfully recurs to the possibility of his disappointment1 and anticipates with terror what will be his situation1 if deprived of this imaginary wealth4 ,i had now1 for the first time1 opened my eyes to the real state of my affairs1 and ,i clung with proportionable vehemence to this plank which was to bear me from the storm4 ,in the second place1 ,i felt1 though darkly and unwillingly1 the immorality of my conception4 ,to game may1 in some instances1 not be in diametrical opposition to liberality of mind2 but he who games for the express purpose of improving his circumstances must be an idiot1 if he does not sometimes recollect that the money lost may be as serious a mischief to his neighbour1 as the money gained can possibly be a benefit to himself4 ,it is past a question1 that he who thus turns his amusement into his business loses the dignity of a man of honour1 and puts himself upon a level with the most avaricious and usurious merchant4 ,though ,i was far from having digested a specific plan of enriching myself by these discreditable means1 yet the very tumult of my thoughts operated strongly to lead me once more to the gaming-table4 ,i was in no humour to busy myself with my own thoughts2 the calmness of literary discussion1 and the polished interchange of wit1 which had lately so much delighted me1 had now no attraction for my heart2 the turbulence of a scene of high play alone had power to distract my attention from the storm within4 ,i won a second time4 ,i felt the rapidity and intenseness of my contemplations still further accelerated4 ,i will not over again detail what they were4 ,suffice it to say1 that my hopes became more ardent1 my conception of the necessity of this resource more impressive1 and my alarm lest this last expedient should fail me more tormenting4 ,the next time ,i lost half as much as the sum of my winnings4 ,i then proceeded for several days in a nearly regular alternation of gain and loss4 ,this1 as soon as the fact unavoidably forced itself upon my mind1 only served to render my thoughts more desperate4 ,no1 exclaimed ,i1 it was not for this that ,i entered upon so tormenting a pursuit4 ,it is not for this that ,i have deserted the learned societies which were lately my delight1 and committed myself to a sea of disquiet and anxiety4 ,i came not here1 like a boy1 for amusement2 or1 like one who has been bred in the lap of ignorance and wealth1 to seek a relief from the burden of existence1 and to find a stimulus to animate my torpid spirits4 ,am ,i then to be for ever baffled8 ,am ,i to cultivate a tract of land1 which is to present me nothing in return but unvaried barenness8 ,am ,i continually to wind up my passions1 and new-string my attention in vain8 ,am ,i a mere instrument to be played upon by endless hopes and fears and tormenting wishes8 ,am ,i to be the sport of events1 the fool of promise1 always agitated with near approaching good1 yet always deluded8 ,this frame of mind led me on insensibly to the most extravagant adventures4 ,it threw me in the first place into the hands of notorious gamblers4 ,men of real property shrunk from the stakes ,i proposed2 as1 though they were in some degree infected with the venom of gaming1 their infection was not so deep as mine1 nor with my desperation of thought4 ,the players with whom ,i engaged were for the most part well known to every one but myself1 not to be able to pay the sums they played for1 if they lost2 nay1 this fact might be said in some sense to be known to me as well as the rest1 though ,i obstinately steeled myself against the recollection of it4 ,one evening ,i won of one of these persons a very large sum1 for which ,i suffered him to play with me upon honour4 ,the consequence was simple4 ,the next morning he took his departure from ,paris1 and ,i heard of him no more4 ,before this1 however1 the tide of success had set strongly against me4 ,i had sustained some serious vicissitudes2 and1 while ,i was playing with the wretch ,i have just mentioned1 my eagerness increased as my good luck began1 and ,i flattered myself that ,i should now avenge myself of fortune for some of her late unkindnesses4 ,my anguish--why should ,i call the thing by a disproportionate and trivial appellation8--my agony--was by so much the greater1 when ,i found that this person1 the very individual who had already stripped me of considerable sums1 had disappeared1 and left me without the smallest benefit from my imaginary winnings4 ,no man who has not felt1 can possibly image to himself the tortures of a gamester1 of a gamester like me1 who played for the improvement of his fortune1 who played with the recollection of a wife and children dearer to him than the blood that bubbled through the arteries of his heart1 who might be said1 like the savages of ancient ,germany1 to make these relations the stake for which he threw1 who saw all my own happiness and all theirs through the long vista of life1 depending on the turn of a card6 ,hell is but the chimera of priests1 to bubble idiots and cowards4 ,what have they invented1 to come into competition with what ,i felt6 ,their alternate interchange of flames and ice is but a feeble image of the eternal varieties of hope and fear4 ,all bodily racks and torments are nothing compared with certain states of the human mind4 ,the gamester would be the most pitiable1 if he were not the most despicable creature that exists4 ,arrange ten bits of painted paper in a certain order1 and he is ready to go wild with the extravagance of his joy4 ,he is only restrained by some remains of shame1 from dancing about the room1 and displaying the vileness of his spirit by every sort of freak and absurdity4 ,at another time1 when his hopes have been gradually worked up into a paroxysm1 an unexpected turn arrives1 and he is made the most miserable of men4 ,never shall ,i cease to recollect the sensation ,i have repeatedly felt1 in the instantaneous sinking of the spirits1 the conscious fire that spread over my visage1 the anger in my eye1 the burning dryness of my throat1 the sentiment that in a moment was ready to overwhelm with curses the cards1 the stake1 my own existence1 and all mankind4 ,how every malignant and insufferable passion seemed to rush upon my soul6 ,what nights of dreadful solitude and despair did ,i repeatedly pass during the progress of my ruin6 ,it was the night of the soul6 ,my mind was wrapped in a gloom that could not be pierced6 ,my heart was oppressed with a weight that no power human or divine was equal to remove6 ,my eyelids seemed to press downward with an invincible burden6 ,my eyeballs were ready to start and crack their sockets6 ,i lay motionless1 the victim of ineffable horror6 ,the whole endless night seemed to be filled with one vast1 appalling1 immovable idea6 ,it was a stupor1 more insupportable and tremendous than the utmost whirl of pain1 or the fiercest agony of exquisite perception6 ,one day that my mind was in a state of excessive anguish and remorse 7,i had already contrived by this infernal means to dispossess myself of the half of my property71 my son came unexpectedly into my chamber4 ,for some time ,i had scarcely ever seen him3 such is a gamester6 ,all the night1 while he slept1 ,i was engaged in these haunts of demons4 ,all the day1 while he was awake1 and studying with his masters1 or amusing himself1 ,i was in my bed-chamber1 endeavouring to court a few broken hours of sleep4 ,when1 notwithstanding the opposition of our habits1 ,i had the opportunity of seeing him1 ,i rather shunned to use1 than sought to embrace it4 ,the sight of him had a savour of bitterness in it1 that more than balanced all the solace of natural affection4 ,it brought before me the image of his mother and his sisters2 it presented to my soul a frightful tale of deserted duties2 it was more galling and envenomed than the sting of scorpions4 ,starting at the sound of the opening door1 ,i called out abruptly1 and with some harshness1 8,who is there8 ,what do you want80 8,it is ,i1 sir10 replied the boy2 8it is ,charles1 come to pay his duty to you60 8,i do not want you now2 you should not come1 but when you know ,i am at leisure10 answered ,i somewhat disturbed4 8,very well1 sir2 very well3 ,i am going40 ,as he spoke his voice seemed suffocated with tears4 ,he was on the point of shutting the door1 and leaving me to myself4 8,charles60 said ,i1 not well knowing what it was ,i intended to do4 ,he returned4 8,come here1 my dear boy60 ,i took his hand1 ,i drew him between my knees1 ,i hid my face in his neck1 ,i shook with the violence of my emotion4 8,go1 go1 boy3 you perceive ,i cannot talk to you40 ,i pushed him gently from me4 8,papa60 cried he1 8,i do not like to leave you4 ,i know ,i am but a boy1 and can be but of little use to you4 ,if mamma were with you1 ,i would not be troublesome4 ,i should cry when ,i saw you were grieved1 but ,i would ask no questions1 and would leave you1 because you desired it4 ,i hope you have not had any bad news80 8,no1 my boy1 no4 ,come to me to-morrow1 and ,i will be at leisure1 and will talk a great deal to you40 8,ah1 papa1 to-morrow6 ,every day that ,i did not see you1 ,i thought it would be to-morrow6 ,and there was one to-morrow1 and another to-morrow1 and so many1 that it seemed as if you had forgotten to speak to me at all40 8,why1 ,charles1 you do not doubt my word8 ,i tell you that to-morrow you shall see me as long as you please40 8,well1 well1 ,i will wait6 ,but do then let it be all day6 ,i will not go to college1 and it shall be a holiday4 ,papa1 ,i do not like my lessons half so well as ,i did1 since ,i have neither you nor mamma that ,i can tell what they are about40 8,good-bye1 ,charles6 ,be a good boy6 remember to-morrow6 ,good-bye60 8,papa6 now ,i am sure you look a good deal better than you did at first4 ,let me tell you something about the lesson ,i read this morning4 ,it was a story of ,zaleucus the ,locrian1 who put out one of his own eyes1 that he might preserve eye-sight to his son40 ,this artless story1 thus innocently introduced1 cut me to the soul4 ,i started in my chair1 and hid my face upon the table4 8,papa1 what is the matter8 ,indeed you frighten me60 8,zaleucus was a father6 ,what then am ,i80 8,yes1 ,zaleucus was very good indeed6 ,but1 do you know1 his son was very naughty4 ,it was his disobedience and wickedness that made him liable to such a punishment4 ,i would not for the world be like ,zaleucus's son4 ,i hope1 papa1 you will never suffer from my wilfulness4 ,you shall not1 papa1 indeed1 indeed60 ,i caught the boy in my arms4 8,no1 you are very good6 you are too good6 ,i cannot bear it60 8,well1 papa1 ,i wish ,i were able to show you that ,i love you as well as ever ,zaleucus loved his son60 ,i was melted with the ingenuousness of the boy's expression4 ,i quitted him4 ,i paced up and down the room4 ,suddenly1 as if by paroxysm of insanity1 ,i seized my child by the arm1 ,i seated myself1 ,i drew him towards me1 ,i put my eye upon him4 8,boy1 how dare you talk to me of ,zaleucus8 ,do you mean to insinuate a reproach8 ,do ,i not discharge a father's duty8 ,if ,i do not1 know1 urchin1 ,i will not be insulted by my child60 ,the boy was astonished4 ,he burst into tears1 and was silent4 ,i was moved by his evident distress4 8,no1 child1 you have no father4 ,i am afraid you have not4 ,you do not know my baseness4 ,you do not know that ,i am the deadliest foe you have in the world40 8,dear papa1 do not talk thus6 ,do not ,i know that you are the best of men8 ,do not ,i love you and mamma better than every body else put together80 8,well1 ,charles10 cried ,i1 endeavouring to compose myself1 8we will talk no more now4 ,did not ,i tell you1 you should not come to me but when you knew it was a proper time8 ,i hope you will never have reason to hate me40 8,i never will hate you1 papa1 do to me what you will60 ,he saw ,i wished to be alone1 and left me4 ,,chapter ,,vi4 ,in the evening of the same day1 my beloved ,marguerite arrived unexpectedly at ,paris4 ,in the beginning of our separation1 ,i had been to the last degree punctual in my letters4 ,i had no pleasure so great1 as retiring to my closet1 and pouring out my soul to the most adorable of women4 ,by degrees ,i relaxed in punctuality4 ,ordinary occupations1 however closely pursued1 have a method in them1 that easily combines with regularity in points of an incidental nature4 ,but gaming1 when pursued with avidity1 subverts all order1 and forces every avocation from the place assigned it4 ,when my insane project of supplying the inadequateness of my fortune by this expedient began to produce an effect exactly opposite1 ,i could not1 but with the extremest difficulty1 string my mind to write to the mistress of my soul4 ,i endeavoured not to think1 with distinctness and attention1 of the persons whose happiness was most nearly involved with mine4 ,i said to myself1 ,yet another venture must be tried2 fortune shall change the animosity with which she has lately pursued me2 ,i will repair the breaches that have been sustained2 and ,i shall then return with tenfold avidity to subjects that at present ,i dare not fix my mind upon4 ,my letters were accordingly short1 unfrequent1 and unsatisfactory2 and those of ,marguerite discovered increasing anguish1 perturbation1 and anxiety4 ,what a change in the minds of both had the lapse of a few months produced6 ,not that my attachment had suffered the diminution of a single particle2 but that attachment1 which had lately been the source of our mutual felicity1 was now fraught only with distress4 ,my mind was filled with horrors2 and ,marguerite expected from me an encouragement and consolation in absence1 which1 alas1 ,i had it not in my power to give6 ,i had now continued in ,paris for a time vastly greater than ,i had originally proposed4 ,after having remained more than ten days without receiving one word of intelligence1 a letter of mine was delivered to ,marguerite1 more short1 mysterious1 and distressing to her feelings1 than any that had preceded4 ,the ten days' silence1 from me who at first had never missed an opportunity of pouring out my soul to her1 and contributing to her pleasure1 was exquisitely painful4 ,there is scarcely any thing that produces such a sickness of the heart as the repeated prorogation of hope4 ,but1 when the letter arrived that had been so anxiously looked for1 when the hand-writing of the superscription was recognised1 when the letter was treasured up for the impatiently desired moment of solitude1 that the sacred emotions of the heart might suffer no interruption1 and when it at last appeared so cold1 so ominous1 so withering to the buds of affection1 the determination of ,marguerite was speedily formed4 ,the relations that bound us together were of too mighty a value to be dispensed or to be trifled with4 ,she felt them as the very cords of existence4 ,for ten years she had known no solace that was disconnected from my idea1 no care but of our own happiness and that of our offspring4 ,benevolent she was almost beyond human example1 and interested for the welfare of all she knew2 but these were brief and mutable concerns2 they were not incorporated with the stamina of her existence4 ,i was the whole world to her2 she had no idea of satisfaction without me4 ,her firmness had been sufficiently tried by the interposal of separation and absence4 ,how was she to interpret the obscurity that had now arisen8 ,had ,i forgotten my family and my wife8 ,had ,i been corrupted and debauched by that ,paris1 the effects of which upon my character her father had so deeply apprehended8 ,had ,i1 in contempt of every thing sacred1 entered into some new attachment8 ,had the attractions of some new beauty in the metropolis made me indifferent to the virtue of my children1 and the life of their mother8 ,perhaps the length of our attachment had infected me with satiety1 and the inconstancy of my temper had been roused by the charms of novelty4 ,perhaps the certainty of her kindness and regard had no longer allurements for me2 and ,i might be excited to the pursuit of another by the pleasures of hope combined with uncertainty1 and of a coyness1 that seemed to promise compliance hereafter1 even while it pronounced a present denial4 ,these were the images that haunted her mind2 they engendered all the wildness1 and all the torments1 of a delirious paroxysm2 she resolved that no time should be sacrificed to needless uncertainty1 and that no effort of hers should be unexerted to prevent the mischief she feared4 ,it was evening when she arrived4 ,i was upon the point of repairing to that scene of nightly resort1 the source of all my guilt and all my miseries4 ,i enquired of my son's valet where he was1 and how he had been in the course of the day4 ,he was gone to bed3 he had appeared unusually sad1 sometimes in tears2 and1 while he was undressing1 had sighed deeply two or three times4 ,while ,i was collecting this account in my own apartment1 the gates of the hotel opened1 and a number of horsemen entered the court-yard4 ,i was somewhat surprised2 because1 though ,i was accustomed to see much company1 few of my acquaintance visited me at so late an hour1 except on the evenings appropriated to receive them4 ,i crossed the saloon to enquire4 ,one of the servants exclaimed1 8,it is ,bernardin's voice3 it must be my mistress that is come60 ,nothing could be further from my mind than the thought of her arrival4 ,i flew through the passage2 ,i was on the spot the moment that the servant prepared to conduct his mistress from the litter2 ,i received ,marguerite in my arms1 and led her into the house4 ,if ,i had expected her arrival1 ,i should infallibly have met her at this moment with anxiety and confusion2 ,i should have gone round the circle of my thoughts1 and should not have had confidence to encounter the beam of her eye4 ,but the event was so unexpected as to drive all other ideas from my mind2 and1 in consequence1 ,i enjoyed several minutes1--ages1 rather let me say1--of the sincerest transport4 ,i kissed the mistress of my soul with ecstasy2 ,i gazed upon her well known lineaments and features2 ,i listened to the pleasing melody of her voice2 ,i was intoxicated with delight4 ,upon occasions like this1 it seems as if every former joy that had marked the various periods of intercourse distilled its very spirit and essence1 to compose a draught1 ten times more delicious and refined than had ever before been tasted4 ,our meeting was like awaking from the dead2 it was the emancipation of the weary captive1 who exchanges the dungeon's gloom for the lustre of the morning1 and who feels a celestial exhilaration of heart1 the very memory of which had been insensibly wearing away from his treacherous brain4 ,all my senses partook of the rapture4 ,marguerite seemed to shed ambrosial odours round her2 her touch was thrilling2 her lips were nectar2 her figure was that of a descended deity6 ,her pleasure was not less than mine4 ,it is indeed absurd1 it may be termed profanation1 to talk of solitary pleasure4 ,no sensation ordinarily distinguished by that epithet can endure the test of a moment's inspection1 when compared with a social enjoyment4 ,it is then only that a man is truly pleased1 when pulse replies to pulse1 when the eyes discourse eloquently to each other1 when in responsive tones and words the soul is communicated4 ,altogether1 we are conscious of a sober1 a chaste1 and dignified intoxication1 an elevation of spirit1 that does not bereave the mind of itself1 and that endures long enough for us to analyse and savour the causes of our joy4 ,for some time we rested on a sofa1 each filled and occupied with the observation of the other4 ,my eyes assured ,marguerite of the constancy of my affection2 my kisses were those of chaste1 undivided1 entire attachment4 ,our words were insignificant and idle1 the broken and incoherent phrases of a happiness that could not be silent4 ,at length ,marguerite exclaimed1 8,it is enough2 my fears are vanished2 ,i have no questions to ask1 no doubts to remove4 ,yet why1 my ,reginald1 did you suffer those doubts to gather1 those fears to accumulate8 ,surely you knew the singleness of my affection6 ,how many painful days and hours might you have saved me1 almost by a word60 8,forgive me1 my love10 replied ,i4 8,waste not the golden hour of meeting in recrimination6 ,feeling1 as your angelic goodness now makes me feel1 ,i wonder at myself1 that ,i could for one moment have consented to separation2 that ,i could have thought any thing but this existence2 or that1 having experienced the joys that you have bestowed1 ,i could lose all image of the past1 and1 dwelling in a desert1 imagine it paradise60 8,recrimination60 rejoined ,marguerite4 8,no1 my love2 you make me too happy to leave room for any thing but gratitude and affection6 ,forgive me1 ,reginald1 if ,i pretend that1 in meeting you thus1 ,i find myself your superior in happiness and love4 ,you only awake from lethargy1 forgetfulness of yourself and--of me2 but ,i awake from anguish1 a separation1 that ,i desired not at first1 and of which ,i hourly wished to see an end1 from doubts that would intrude1 and refused to be expelled1 from the incessant contemplation and regret of a felicity1 once possessed1 but possessed no longer6 ,melancholy ideas1 gloomy prognostics overspread my sleepless nights1 and bedewed my pillow with tears6 ,this it is1 that1 at last1 has driven me from my family and daughters1 resolved to obtain the certainty of despair1 or the dispersion of my fears6 ,have ,i known all this1 and think you that ,i do not enjoy with rapture this blissful moment80 ,while we were thus conversing1 ,charles entered the room4 ,he was not yet asleep when his mother arrived3 he heard her voice2 and hastened to put on his clothes1 that he might rush into her arms4 ,the pleasure ,marguerite had conceived from our meeting1 and the affectionate serenity that had taken possession of her soul1 infused double ardour into the embraces she bestowed on her son4 ,he gazed earnestly in her face2 he kissed her with fervency2 but was silent4 8,why1 ,charles60 said she1 8what is the matter with you8 ,are not you glad to see me80 8,that ,i am1 mamma6 ,so glad1 that ,i do not know what to do with myself6 ,i was afraid ,i never should have been glad again60 8,pooh1 boy6 what do you mean8 ,you were not mother-sick1 were you80 8,yes1 indeed1 ,i was sick1 sick at heart6 ,not that ,i am a coward6 ,i think that ,i could have been satisfied to have been without either my father or you for a little while4 ,but papa is so altered1 you cannot think6 ,he never smiles and looks happy2 and1 when ,i see him1 instead of making me joyful1 as it used to do1 it makes me sad60 8,dear ,reginald60 replied the mother1 looking at me1 8is it possible that1 while my heart was haunted with fear and suspicions1 separation alone should have had such an effect on you80 8,i dare say it was that10 interposed the boy4 8,i could not make papa smile1 all ,i could do3 but1 now you are come1 he will soon be well6 ,how much he must love you1 mamma60 ,the artless prattle of my son struck anguish to my soul2 and awakened a whole train of tormenting thoughts4 ,alas6 thought ,i1 can it indeed be love1 that thus contrives against the peace of its object8 ,would to ,god1 my child6 that my thoughts were as simple and pure as thy innocent bosom6 8,and yet10 added the boy1 as if recollecting himself1 8if he could not see you1 sure that was no reason for him to avoid me8 ,he seemed as much afraid of me1 as ,i have seen some of my play-fellows of a snake6 ,indeed1 mamma1 it was a sad thing that1 when ,i wanted him to kiss me and press me to his bosom1 he shrunk away from me6 ,there now6 it was just so1 as he looks now1 that papa used to frown upon me1 ,i cannot tell how often6 ,now is not that ugly1 mamma80 ,i could no longer govern the tumult of my thoughts4 8,peace1 urchin60 cried ,i4 8,why did you come to mar the transport of our meeting8 ,just now1 ,marguerite1 ,i forgot myself1 and was happy6 ,now all the villain rises in my soul60 ,my wife was so astonished at the perturbation of my manner1 and at the words ,i uttered1 that she was scarcely able to articulate4 8,reginald60 in broken accents she exclaimed--8my love6--my husband60 8,no matter10 said ,i4 8,it shall yet be well6 ,my heart assures me it shall6--,be not disturbed1 my love6 ,i will never cause you a moment's anguish6 ,i would sooner die a thousand deaths6--,forget the odious thoughts that poor ,charles has excited in me so unseasonably6 ,they were mere idle words6 ,depend upon it they were60 ,while ,i was speaking1 ,marguerite hid her face upon the sofa4 ,i took her hand1 and by my caresses endeavoured to soothe and compose her4 ,at length1 turning to me1--8,reginald60 said she1 in a voice of anguish1 8do you then endeavour to hide from me the real state of your thoughts8 ,was the joy that attended our meeting perishable and deceitful8 ,after ten years of unbounded affection and confidence1 am ,i denied to be the partner of your bosom80 8,no1 ,marguerite1 no6 this was but the thought of a moment6 ,by to-morrow's dawn it shall have no existence in my bosom4 ,why should ,i torment you with what so soon shall have no existence to myself8 ,meanwhile1 be assured1 my love 7instead of suffering diminution7 is more full1 more fervent and entire1 than it ever was60 ,at this instant my mind experienced an extraordinary impression4 ,instead of being weaned1 by the presence of this admirable woman1 from my passion for gaming1 it became stronger than ever4 ,if ,charles had not entered at the critical moment he did1 ,i should have remained with ,marguerite1 and1 amidst the so long untasted solace of love1 have1 at least for this night1 forgotten my cares4 ,but that occurrence had overturned every thing1 had uncovered the wounds of my bosom1 and awakened conceptions that refused to be laid to sleep again4 ,the arms of my wife1 that were about to embrace me1 suddenly became to me a nest of scorpions4 ,i could as soon have rested and enjoyed myself upon the top of ,vesuvius1 when it flamed4 ,new as ,i was to this species of anguish1 tranquilly and full of virtuous contentment as ,i had hitherto passed the years of my married state1 the pangs of a guilty conscience ,i was wholly unable to bear4 ,i rose from my seat1 and was upon the point of quitting the room4 ,marguerite perceived by my manner that there was something extraordinary passing in my mind4 8,where are you going1 ,reginald80 said she4 ,i answered with a slight nod4 8,not far10 ,i replied1 attempting an air of apathy and unconcern4 ,she was not satisfied4 8,you are not going out80 she enquired4 ,i returned to where ,i had been sitting4 8,my love1 ,i was going out at the moment of your arrival4 ,it is necessary1 ,i assure you4 ,i hope ,i shall soon be back4 ,i am sorry ,i am obliged to leave you4 ,compose yourself4 ,you are in want of rest1 and had better go to bed40 8,stop1 ,reginald6 ,afford me a minute's leisure before you depart6 ,leave us1 ,charles6 ,good night1 my dear boy6 ,kiss me2 remember that your mother is now in the same house with you2 and sleep in peace40 ,the boy quitted the room4 8,reginald60 said the mother1 8,i have no wish to control your desires1 or be a spy upon your actions2 but your conduct seems so extraordinary in this instance1 as to dispense me from the observation of common rules4 ,i have always been a complying wife2 ,i have never set myself in contradiction to your will2 ,i appeal to yourself for the truth of this4 ,i despise1 however1 those delicacies1 an adherence to which would entail upon us the sacrifice of all that is most valuable in human life4 ,can ,i shut my ears upon the mysterious expressions which ,charles's complaints have extorted from you8 ,can ,i be insensible to the extraordinary purpose you declare of leaving me1 when ,i have yet been scarcely half an hour under the roof with you8 ,before ,charles came in1 you seem to have entertained no such design40 8,my love10 replied ,i1 8how seriously you comment upon the most insignificant incident6 ,is it extraordinary that your unexpected arrival should at first have made me forget an engagement that ,i now recollect80 8,st4 ,leon10 answered my wife1 8before you indulge in surprise at my earnestness1 recollect the circumstances that immediately preceded it4 ,through successive weeks ,i have waited for some satisfactory and agreeable intelligence from you4 ,i had a right before this to have expected your return4 ,uncertainty and a thousand fearful apprehensions have at length driven me from my home1 and brought me to ,paris4 ,i am come here for satisfaction to my doubts1 and peace to my anxious heart4 ,wonder not1 therefore1 if you find something more earnest and determined in my proceedings now1 than upon ordinary occasions4 ,give me1 ,i conjure you1 give me ease and relief1 if you are able6 ,if not1 at least allow me this consolation1 to know the worst60 8,be pacified1 ,marguerite60 ,i rejoined4 8,i am grieved1 ,heaven knows how deeply grieved1 to have occasioned you a moment's pain4 ,but1 since you lay so much stress upon this circumstance1 depend upon it1 ,i will postpone the business ,i was going about1 and stay with you40 ,this concession1 voluntary and sincere1 produced an effect that ,i had not foreseen4 ,marguerite gazed for a moment in my face1 and then threw herself upon my neck4 8,forgive me1 my beloved husband60 she cried4 8,you indeed make me ashamed of myself4 ,i feel myself inexcusable4 ,i feel that ,i have been brooding over imaginary evils1 and creating the misery that corroded my heart4 ,how inexpressibly you rise my superior6 ,but ,i will conquer my weakness4 ,i insist upon your going to the engagement you have made1 and will henceforth place the most entire confidence in your prudence and honour40 ,every word of this speech was a dagger to my heart4 ,what were my feelings1 while this admirable woman was taking shame to herself for her suspicions1 and pouring out her soul in commendation of my integrity6 ,i looked inward1 and found every thing there the reverse of her apprehension1 a scene of desolation and remorse4 ,i embraced her in silence4 ,my heart panted upon her bosom1 and seemed bursting with a secret that it was death to reveal4 ,i ought1 in return for her generosity1 to have given up my feigned engagement1 and devoted this night at least to console and pacify her4 ,but ,i could not1 and ,i dared not4 ,the wound of my bosom was opened1 and would not be closed4 ,the more ,i loved her for her confidence1 the less ,i could endure myself in her presence4 ,to play the hypocrite for so many hours1 to assume a face of tranquillity and joy while all within was tumult and horror1 was a task too mighty for human powers to execute4 ,i accepted of ,marguerite's permission1 and left her4 ,even in the short interval before ,i quitted the house1 my carriage was near to betraying me4 ,i could perceive her watchful of my countenance1 as if again suspicious that some fatal secret lurked in my mind4 ,she said nothing further upon the subject however1 and ,i presently escaped the inquisition of her eye4 ,it is scarcely necessary to describe the state of my mind as ,i passed along the streets4 ,it is sufficient to say that every thing ,i had felt before from the passion of gaming was trivial to the sensations that now occupied me4 ,now first it stood confessed before me1 a demon that poisoned all my joys1 that changed the transport of a meeting with the adored of my soul into anguish1 that drove me forth from her yet untasted charms a solitary wanderer on the face of the earth4 ,my busy soul drew forth at length the picture of what this encounter would have been1 if it had been sanctified with the stamp of conscious innocence4 ,at one moment ,i felt myself the most accursed of mankind2 ,i believed that he who could find1 as ,i did1 barrenness and blasting in the choicest of ,heaven's blessings1 must be miserable beyond precedent or hope4 ,shortly after1 however1 ,i reviewed again the image of my poison1 and found in it the promise of a cure4 ,the more desperate my case appeared to me1 with the greater insanity of expectation did ,i assure myself that this one night should retrieve all my misfortunes4 ,in giving to it this destination indeed1 ,i should afflict the gentle bosom of my wife but too probably with some hours of uneasiness4 ,but the event would richly repay her for so transitory a suffering2 ,i would then open my whole mind to her4 ,i would practise no more reserves2 ,i should no longer be driven to the refuge of a vile hypocrisy4 ,i would bid farewell to the frowns and the caresses of fortune4 ,i would require of her no further kindnesses4 ,if ,i were incapable myself of a rigid economy1 ,i would commit implicitly to ,marguerite the disposal of my income1 whom ,i knew to be every way qualified for the office4 ,with these reflections ,i nerved my mind to the most decisive adventures4 ,why should ,i enter into a long detail of the incidents of this crisis8 ,soon1 though not immediately1 ,i began to lose considerable sums4 ,i brought with me in the first instance a penetrating eye1 a collected mind1 an intellect prepared for unintermitted exertion4 ,misfortune subverted all this4 ,my eye grew wild1 my soul tempestuous1 my thoughts incoherent and distracted4 ,i was incapable of any thing judicious2 but ,i was determined to persevere4 ,i played till morning1 nor could the light of morning induce me to desist4 ,the setting sun of that day beheld me a beggar6 ,there is a degree of misery1 which1 as it admits of no description1 so does it leave no distinct traces in the memory4 ,it seems as if the weakness of the human mind alike incapacitated it to support the delirium of joy1 and the extremity of sorrow4 ,of what immediately succeeded the period to which ,i have conducted my narrative ,i have no recollection1 but a horror beyond all names of horror1 wild1 inexplicable1 unintelligible4 ,let no one1 however1 imagine1 that the temporary desertion of the soul is any alleviation of its misery4 ,the mind that sinks under its suffering does not by that conduct shake off its burden4 ,rather1 ten thousand times rather1 would ,i endure all the calamities that have ever yet received a name1 the sensations and history of which are capable of being delineated1 than sustain that which has no words by which to express itself1 and the conception of which must be trusted solely to the faculties and sympathy of the reader4 ,where is the cold and inapprehensive spirit that talks of madness as a refuge from sorrow8 ,oh1 dull and unconceiving beyond all belief6 ,i cannot speak of every species of madness2 but ,i also have been mad6 ,this ,i know1 that there is a vacancy of soul1 where all appears buried in stupidity1 and scarcely deserves the name of thought1 that is more intolerable than the bitterest reflections4 ,this ,i know1 that there is an incoherence1 in which the mind seems to wander without rudder and pilot1 that laughs to scorn the superstitious fictions of designing priests4 ,oh1 how many sleepless days and weeks did ,i endure6 the thoughts frantic1 the tongue raving6 ,while we can still adhere1 if ,i may so express myself1 to the method of misery1 there is a sort of nameless complacency that lurks under all that we can endure4 ,we are still conscious that we are men2 we wonder at and admire our powers of being miserable2 but1 when the masts and tackle of the intellectual vessel are all swept away1 then is the true sadness4 ,we have no consciousness to sustain us1 no sentiment of dignity1 no secret admiration of what we are1 still clinging to our hearts4 ,all this ,i venture to affirm1 with the full recollection of what ,i suffered1 when restored to my senses1 present to my mind4 ,when the account was closed1 and the loss of my last stake had finished the scene1 ,i rose1 and1 quitting the fatal spot where these transactions had passed1 entered the street1 with a heart oppressed1 and a bursting head4 ,my eyes glared1 but ,i saw nothing1 and could think of nothing4 ,it was already nearly dark2 and the day which had been tempestuous1 was succeeded by a heavy and settled rain4 ,i wandered for some time1 not knowing whither ,i went4 ,my pace1 which had at first been slow1 gradually increased1 and ,i traversed the whole city with a hurried and impatient step4 ,the streets which had contained few persons at first1 gradually lost those few4 ,i was almost alone4 ,i saw occasionally ragged and houseless misery shrinking under the cover of a miserable shed2 ,i saw the midnight robber1 watching for his prey1 and ready to start upon the unwary passenger4 ,from me he fled2 there was something in my air that impelled even desperate violation to shrink from the encounter4 ,i continued this incessant1 unmeaning exertion for hours4 ,at length1 by an accidental glance of the eye1 ,i found myself at the gate of my own hotel4 ,heedless of what ,i did1 ,i entered2 and1 as nature was now completely exhausted within me1 sunk down in a sort of insensibility at the foot of the grand staircase4 ,this stupor1 after a considerable interval1 gradually subsided4 ,i opened my eyes1 and saw various figures flitting about me2 but ,i seemed to myself equally incapable of collecting my thoughts1 and of speech4 ,my understanding indeed shortly became clearer1 but an insuperable reluctance to voluntary exertion hung upon me4 ,i explained myself only in monosyllables2 a sort of instinctive terror of disclosing what had passed to the admirable woman ,i had sacrificed maintained in me this perpetual reserve4 ,for several days together ,i sat from morning till night in one immovable posture1 nor was any thing of force enough to awaken me to exertion4 ,,chapter ,,vii4 ,it was not long before the unhappy partner of my fortunes was informed of what had passed4 ,the wretches who had stripped me of my all soon made their appearance to claim what was no longer mine4 ,what would have been their reception1 if ,i had sufficiently possessed myself to parley with them on the subject1 ,i am unable to determine4 ,i could not have preserved the wreck of my property from their grasp1 but at the expense of an indelible stain upon my honour2 yet my desperation would probably have led me to a conduct equally extravagant and useless4 ,in the condition in which ,i was1 the whole direction of the business devolved upon ,marguerite2 and never did human creature demean herself with greater magnanimity and propriety4 ,she saw at once that she could not resist their claims but at the expense of my reputation2 for herself she valued not riches1 and had no dread of poverty2 and1 thus circumstanced1 she had the courage herself to bring to me the papers they offered1 the object of which ,i scarcely understood1 and to cause me to annex that signature which was to strip her and her children of all earthly fortune4 ,her purpose was1 as soon as this business was over1 to cause us to quit ,france1 and retire into some scene of virtuous obscurity4 ,but she would not leave behind her for the last descendants of the counts de ,st4 ,leon any avoidable disgrace4 ,her mode of reasoning upon the subject was extremely simple4 ,obscurity she regarded as no misfortune2 and eminent situation1 where it fairly presented itself1 as a responsibility it would be base to shrink from3 ignominy alone she considered as the proper theme of abhorrence4 ,for the fickleness and inconstancy of fortune it is impossible to answer2 by one of those reverses in which she appears to delight1 she might yet restore us to the lustre of our former condition2 but1 if the name of ,st4 ,leon was henceforth to disappear from the annals of ,france1 she was desirous at least1 as far as depended on her1 that it should expire1 like the far famed bird of ,arabia1 in the midst of perfumes4 ,when the whole situation of ,marguerite is taken into consideration1 the reader1 like myself1 will stand astonished at the fortitude of her conduct4 ,she had come to ,paris1 unable any longer to tranquillise the agitation of her mind1 and exhausted with fears1 suspicions1 and alarms4 ,when she arrived1 she experienced indeed one delusive moment of transport and joy4 ,but that was soon over4 ,it was succeeded by reflections and conjectures respecting the mysteriousness of my behaviour2 it was succeeded by my unexpected departure1 and the hourly expectation of my return4 ,after the lapse of a night and a day1 ,i returned indeed1 but in what a condition6 ,drenched with rain1 trembling with inanition1 speechless and alone4 ,scarcely had she received notice of my arrival1 and come forward to meet me1 than she saw me fall1 motionless and insensible1 at her feet4 ,she watched my recovery1 and hung with indescribable expectation over my couch4 ,she was only called away by the wretches1 who came to advance their accursed claims1 and to visit her with the intelligence of our ruin1 as with a thunderbolt4 ,already enfeebled and alarmed by all the preceding circumstances1 they spoke with no consideration to her weakness1 they stooped to no qualifications and palliatives1 but disclosed the whole in the most abrupt and shocking manner4 ,any other woman would have sunk under this accumulation of ill4 ,marguerite only borrowed vigour from her situation1 and rose in proportion to the pressure of the calamity4 ,she took her resolution at once1 and answered them in the most firm and decisive language4 ,the period of inactivity and stupor that at first seized me was succeeded by a period of frenzy4 ,it was in this condition that ,marguerite conducted me and my children to an obscure retreat in the canton of ,soleure1 in the republic of ,switzerland4 ,cheapness was the first object2 for the most miserable pittance was all she had saved from the wreck of our fortune4 ,she had not chosen for beauty of situation1 or magnificence of prospects4 ,the shock her mind had sustained was not so great as to destroy her activity and fortitude1 but it left her little leisure for the wantonness of studied indulgence4 ,the scene was remote and somewhat sterile4 ,she conceived that1 when ,i recovered my senses1 an event which she did not cease to promise herself1 solitude would be most grateful1 at least to the first stage of my returning reason4 ,hither then it was that she led me1 our son1 and three daughters4 ,immediately upon our arrival she purchased a small and obscure1 but neat1 cottage1 and attired herself and her children in habits similar to those of the neighbouring peasants4 ,my paternal estates1 as well as those which had fallen to me by marriage1 had all been swallowed up in the gulf1 which my accursed conduct had prepared4 ,marguerite made a general sale of our moveables1 our ornaments1 and even our clothes4 ,a few books1 guided by the attachment to literature which had always attended me1 were all that she saved from the wreck4 ,a considerable part of the sum thus produced was appropriated by my creditors4 ,marguerite had the prudence and skill to satisfy them all1 and was contented to retain that only which remained when their demands were discharged4 ,this was the last dictate of her pride and the high-born integrity of her nature1 at the time that she thus departed a voluntary exile from her native country4 ,two servants accompanied us in our flight1 whose attachment was so great1 that even if their attendance had not been necessary1 it would have been found somewhat difficult to shake them off4 ,marguerite1 however1 was governed by the strictest principles of economy2 and1 whatever the struggle might have been with the importunity of humble affection in dismissing these last remains of our profuse and luxurious household1 she would have thought herself obliged to proceed even to this extreme1 if judicious parsimony had demanded it from her4 ,but it did not4 ,our youngest daughter was at this time only twelve months old1 and it would have been scarcely possible for the mother1 however resolute in her exertions1 to have discharged the cares due to such a family1 at a time when the father of it was suffering under so heavy an affliction4 ,one female servant she retained to assist her in these offices4 ,she could not dispense herself from a very assiduous attention to me4 ,she could never otherwise have been satisfied1 that every thing was done that ought to be done1 that every tenderness was exercised that might be demanded by my humiliating situation1 or that sufficient sagacity and skill were employed in watching and encouraging the gleams of returning reason4 ,the violence of my paroxysms1 however1 was frequently such as to render a manual force greater than hers necessary to prevent me from effecting some desperate mischief4 ,bernardin1 a trusty servant1 nearly of my own age1 and who had attended upon my person almost from infancy1 was retained by ,marguerite for this purpose4 ,i was greatly indebted for the recovery which speedily followed to the affectionate anxiety and enlightened care of this incomparable woman4 ,it is inconceivable to those who have never been led to a practical examination of the subject1 how much may be effected in this respect by an attachment ever on the watch1 and an understanding judicious to combine1 where hired attendance would sleep1 and the coarseness of a blunt insensibility would irritate1 nay1 perhaps1 mortally injure4 ,it is scarcely possible to imagine a wife more interesting and admirable than ,marguerite appeared upon the present occasion4 ,fallen from the highest rank to the lowest poverty1 she did not allow herself a mean and pitiful regret4 ,no reverse could be more complete and abrupt1 but she did not sink under it4 ,she proved1 in the most convincing manner1 that her elevation was not the offspring of wealth or rank1 but was properly her own4 ,she gave a grace1 even a lustre1 to poverty1 which it can only receive from the emanations of a cultivated mind4 ,her children were reconciled and encouraged by her example1 and soon forgot those indulgences which had not yet had time to emasculate their spirits4 ,the deplorable situation to which the father of the family was reduced was far from inducing her to cease from her efforts in the bitterness of despair4 ,she determined for the present to be both a father and a mother to her children4 ,she looked forward with confidence to my speedy recovery4 ,though ,i was the author of her calamities1 she did not permit this consideration to subtract from the purity of her affection1 or the tenderness of her anxiety4 ,she resolved that no word or look of hers should ever reproach me with my misconduct4 ,she had been accustomed to desire rank1 and affluence1 and indulgence for her children2 that her son might run the career of glory which his forefathers ran1 and that her daughters might unite their fates with what was most illustrious and honourable in their native country4 ,but1 if she were disappointed in this1 she determined1 as far as it should be in her power1 to give them virtue and cheerfulness and content1 a mind that should find resources within itself1 and call forth regard and esteem from the rest of mankind4 ,my recovery was fitful and precarious1 sometimes appearing to be rapidly on the advance1 and at others to threaten a total relapse4 ,among the expedients that ,marguerite employed to re-excite the slumbering spark of reason was that of paternal affection4 ,ever on the watch for a favourable opportunity1 she sometimes brought to me her own little namesake1 who1 though only twelve months old1 did not fail to discover unequivocal marks of that playfulness and gaiety which made so considerable a part of her constitutional character4 ,her innocent smiles1 her frolic and careless laughter1 produced a responsive vibration that reached to my inmost heart4 ,they were1 not unfrequently1 powerful enough to check the career of my fury1 or to raise me from the lowest pitch of despondence4 ,julia wept for me1 and ,louisa endeavoured to copy the offices of kindness she was accustomed to see her mother perform3 ,charles1 who conceived more fully than the rest the nature of my indisposition1 was upon all occasions solicitous to be admitted into my presence1 and attended me for the most part with speechless anxiety1 while his watchful1 glistening eye uttered volumes1 without the assistance of words4 ,his mother at length yielded to his importunity1 and he became established the regular assistant of ,bernardin in the care of my person4 ,the restlessness and impetuosity he had hitherto manifested seemed upon this occasion entirely to subside3 hour after hour he willingly continued shut up in my chamber1 eager for every opportunity of usefulness1 and gratified with that complaisance with which the human mind never fails to be impressed1 when it regards its actions as beneficent1 or approves its temper as compassionate4 ,the restoration of my health was greatly retarded by the melancholy impressions which necessarily offered themselves to my mind when recollection resumed her seat4 ,it was fortunate for me that this sort of retrospection appears not to be the first thing that occurs after a paroxysm of insanity4 ,when the tide of incoherent ideas subsides1 the soul is left in a state of exhaustion2 and seems1 by a sort of instinct1 to shun the influx of tumultuous emotions1 and to dwell upon such feelings as are mild1 tranquil1 and restorative4 ,once1 however1 when ,i was nearly recovered1 the thought of what ,i had been1 and the recollection of what ,i was1 violently suggesting themselves to my mind1 brought on a relapse1 attended with more alarming and discouraging symptoms than my original alienation4 ,at that moment ,marguerite was1 for the first time1 irresistibly struck with the conception that mine was an incurable lunacy2 and1 as she afterwards assured me1 at no period down to that instant had she felt herself so truly inconsolable4 ,but even a sentiment of the last despair was incapable of superseding the active beneficence of ,marguerite4 ,her assiduities1 so far as related to this fatal calamity1 were at length crowned with success4 ,her gloomy prognostics were not realised1 and the distemper of my understanding quitted me for ever4 ,wretched1 however1 as ,i have already remarked1 beyond all common notions of wretchedness1 were my thoughts1 when my soul returned to its proper bias1 and ,i fully surveyed the nature of my present situation4 ,marguerite1 who1 by her sagacity and patience1 had recovered me from a state of the most dreadful disease1 now exerted herself to effect the more arduous task of reconciling me to myself4 ,she assured me that she forgave me from her inmost heart2 nay1 that she was thankful to ,providence1 which1 in the midst of what the world calls great calamities1 had preserved to her what she most valued1 my affection1 entire4 ,she contrasted what had been the subject of her apprehensions before she came to ,paris1 with what had proved to be the state of the case afterwards4 ,she averred1 that the worst that had happened was trivial and tolerable1 compared with the image that her fears had delineated4 ,she had feared to find my heart alienated from her1 and herself a widowed mother to orphan children4 ,she dreaded lest ,i should have proved myself worthless in her eyes1 lest ,i should have been found to have committed to oblivion the most sacred of all duties2 and1 for the gratification of a low and contemptible caprice1 to have sacrificed all pretensions to honour and character4 ,for that1 indeed1 her heart would have bled2 against that1 all the pride she derived from her ancestry and my own would have revolted2 that would have produced a revulsion of her frame1 snapping the chain of all her habits1 and putting a violent close upon all the sentiments she had most fondly nourished4 ,she dreaded1 indeed1 that she should not have survived it4 ,but the mistake ,i had committed was of a very different nature4 ,i had neither forgotten that ,i was a husband nor a father2 ,i had only made an injudicious and unfortunate choice of the way of discharging what was due to these characters4 ,what had passed was incapable of impeaching either the constancy of my affections or the integrity of my principles4 ,she forgave me1 and it was incumbent upon me to forgive myself4 ,she assured me that poverty1 in her apprehension1 was a very slight evil2 and she appealed to my own understanding for the soundness of her judgment4 ,she bid me look round upon the peasantry of the neighbourhood1 upon a footing with whom we were now placed1 and ask my own heart whether they were not happy4 ,one disadvantage1 indeed1 they were subjected to1--the absence of cultivation and learning4 ,she could never bring herself to believe that ignorance was a benefit2 she saw the contrary of this practically illustrated in her own case1 in mine1 and in that of all the persons to whom1 through life1 she had been most ardently attached4 ,she wished her children to attain intellectual refinement1 possess fully the attributes of a rational nature1 and to be as far removed as possible from the condition of stocks and stones1 by accumulating a magazine of thoughts1 and by a rich and cultivated sensibility4 ,but the want of fortune did not in our case1 as in the case of so many others1 shut them out from this advantage3 it was in our own power to bestow it upon them4 ,it was the part of a reasonable man1 she told me1 not to waste his strength in useless regrets for what was past1 and had already eluded his grasp2 but to advert to the blessings he had still in possession4 ,if we did this in our present situation1 we should find every reason for contentment and joy4 ,our pleasure in each other1 and the constancy of our attachment1 was unassailed and unimpaired4 ,where were there two married persons1 she would venture to ask1 who had more reason to applaud their connection1 or to whom their connection was pregnant with so various gratifications8 ,from ourselves we had only to turn our thoughts to our children2 and we were surely as singularly fortunate in this respect as in each other4 ,charles1 who had always been the subject of our pride1 had lately exhibited such an example of patient sympathy and filial affection1 as perhaps had never been equalled in a child so young4 ,the sensibility of ,julia1 the understanding of ,louisa1 and the vivacity of ,marguerite1 were all of them so many growing sources of inexhaustible delight4 ,our children were intelligent1 affectionate1 and virtuous4 ,thus circumstanced1 she entreated me not to indulge that jaundice of the imagination1 which should create to itself a sentiment of melancholy and discontent in the midst of this terrestrial paradise4 ,most virtuous of women1 now perhaps the purest and the brightest among the saints in heaven6 why was ,i deaf to the soundness of your exhortations1 and the generosity of your sentiments8 ,deaf1 indeed1 ,i was6 ,a prey to the deepest dejection1 they appeared to me the offspring of misapprehension and paradox6 ,supposing1 in the mean time1 that they were reasonable and just in the mouth of her who uttered them1 ,i felt them as totally foreign to my own situation4 ,the language1 as they were1 of innocence2 it was not wonderful that to an innocent heart they spoke tranquillity and peace4 ,marguerite looked round upon the present rusticity and plainness of our condition1 and every thing that she saw talked to her of her merit and her worth4 ,if we were reduced1 she was in no way accountable for that reduction2 it had been the test of her magnanimity1 her patience1 and the immutableness of her virtue4 ,she smiled at the assaults of adversity1 and felt a merit in her smiles4 ,how different was my situation6 ,every thing that ,i saw reminded me of my guilt1 and upbraided me with crimes that it was hell to recollect4 ,my own garb1 and that of my wife and children1 the desertion in which we lived1 the simple benches1 the unhewn rafters1 the naked walls1 all told me what it was ,i had done1 and were so many echoes to my conscience1 repeating1 without intermission and without end1 its heart-breaking reproaches4 ,sleep was almost a stranger to me2 these incessant monitors confounded my senses in a degree scarcely short of madness itself4 ,it is the property of vice to convert every thing that should be consolation into an additional source of anguish4 ,the beauty1 the capacity1 and the virtue of my children1 the affection with which they regarded me1 the patience and attentiveness and forbearance of their excellent mother1 were all so many aggravations of the mischief ,i had perpetrated4 ,i could almost have wished to have been the object of their taunts and execration4 ,i could have wished to have been disengaged from the dearest charities of our nature1 and to have borne the weight of my crimes alone4 ,it would have been a relief to me if my children had been covered with the most loathsome diseases1 deformed and monstrous4 ,it would have been a relief to me1 if they had been abortive in understanding1 and odious in propensities1 if their hearts had teemed with every vice1 and every day had marked them the predestined victims of infamy4 ,the guilt of having stripped them of every external advantage would then have sat light upon me4 ,but thus to have ruined the most lovely family perhaps that existed on the face of the earth1 the most exemplary of women1 and children in whom ,i distinctly marked the bud of every excellence and every virtue1 was a conduct that ,i could never forgive even to myself4 ,oh1 ,damville1 ,damville6 best of men6 truest of friends6 why didst thou put thy trust in such a wretch as ,i am6 ,hadst thou no presentiment of the fatal consequences8 ,wert thou empowered to commit thy only child and all her possible offspring to so dreadful a risk8 ,indeed1 it was not well done6 ,it was meant in kindness2 but it was the cruellest mischief that could have been inflicted on me4 ,i was not a creature qualified for such dear and tender connections4 ,i was destined by nature to wander a solitary outcast on the face of the earth4 ,for that only1 that fearful misery1 was ,i fitted4 ,why1 misguided1 misjudging man6 didst thou not leave me to my fate8 ,even that would have been less dreadful than what ,i have experienced6--,wretch that ,i am6 ,why do ,i reproach my best benefactor8 ,no1 let me turn the whole current of my invective upon myself6 ,damville was actuated by the noblest and most generous sentiment that ever entered the human mind4 ,what a return then have ,i made1 and to what a benefit6 ,all the previous habits of my mind had taught me to feel my present circumstances with the utmost acuteness4 ,marguerite1 the generous ,marguerite1 stood1 with a soul almost indifferent1 between the opposite ideas of riches and poverty4 ,not so her husband4 ,i had been formed1 by every accident of my life1 to the love of splendour4 ,high heroic feats1 and not the tranquillity of rural retirement1 or the pursuits of a character professedly literary1 had been the food of my imagination1 ever since the faculty of imagination was unfolded in my mind4 ,the field of the cloth of gold1 the siege and the battle of ,pavia1 were for ever present to my recollection4 ,francis the ,first1 ,bayard1 and ,bourbon1 eternally formed the subject of my visions and reveries4 ,these propensities had indeed degenerated into an infantine taste for magnificence and expense2 but the roots did not embrace their soil the less forcibly1 because the branches were pressed down and diverted from their genuine perpendicular4 ,that from a lord1 descended from some of the most illustrious houses in ,france1 and myself amply imbued with the high and disdainful spirit incident to my rank1 ,i should become a peasant1 was itself a sufficient degradation4 ,but ,i call the heavens to witness that ,i could have endured this with patience1 if ,i had endured it alone4 ,i should have regarded it as the just retribution of my follies1 and submitted with the most exemplary resignation4 ,but ,i could not1 with an equal mind1 behold my wife and children involved in my punishment4 ,i turned my eyes upon the partner of my life1 and recalled with genuine anguish the magnificence to which she was accustomed1 and the hopes to which she was born4 ,i looked upon my children1 the fruit of my loins1 and once the pride of my heart1 and recollected that they were paupers1 rustics1 exiles4 ,i could foresee no return to rank1 but for them and their posterity an interminable succession of obscurity and meanness4 ,a real parent can support the calamity of personal degradation1 but he cannot bear to witness and anticipate this corruption of his blood4 ,at some times ,i honoured ,marguerite for her equanimity4 ,at others ,i almost despised her for this integrity of her virtues4 ,i accused her in my heart of being destitute of the spark of true nobility4 ,her patience ,i considered as little less than meanness and vulgarity of spirit4 ,it would have become her better1 ,i thought1 like me1 to have cursed her fate1 and the author of that fate2 like me1 to have spurned indignant at the slavery to which we were condemned2 to have refused to be pacified2 and to have wasted the last dregs of existence in impatience and regret4 ,i could act that which had involved us in this dire reverse2 but ,i could not encounter the consequences of my act4 ,the state of my mind was in the utmost degree dejected and forlorn4 ,i carried an arrow in my heart1 which the kindness of my wife and children proved inadequate to extract1 and the ranklings of which time itself had not the power to assuage4 ,the wound was not mortal2 but1 like the wound of ,philoctetes1 poisoned with the blood of the ,lernean hydra1 ,i dragged it about with me from year to year1 and it rendered my existence a galling burden hardly to be supported4 ,a great portion of my time was passed in a deep and mournful silence1 which all the soothings that were addressed to me could not prevail on me to break4 ,not that in this silence there was the least particle of ill humour or sullenness4 ,it was a mild and passive situation of the mind2 affectionate1 as far as it was any thing1 to the persons around me2 but it was a species of disability2 my soul had not force enough to give motion to the organs of speech1 or scarcely to raise a finger4 ,my eye only1 and that only for a moment at a time1 pleaded for forbearance and pardon4 ,i seemed like a man in that species of distemper1 in which the patient suffers a wasting of the bones1 and at length presents to us the shadow1 without the powers1 of a human body4 ,this was at some times my condition4 ,but my stupor would at others suddenly subside4 ,mechanically1 and in a moment1 as it were1 ,i shook off my supineness1 and sought the mountains4 ,the wildness of an untamed and savage scene best accorded with the temper of my mind4 ,i sprung from cliff to cliff among the points of the rock4 ,i rushed down precipices that to my sobered sense appeared in a manner perpendicular1 and only preserved my life1 with a sort of inborn and unelective care1 by catching at the roots and shrubs which occasionally broke the steepness of the descent4 ,i hung over the tops of rocks still more fearful in their declivities1 and courted the giddiness and whirl of spirit which such spectacles are accustomed to produce4 ,i could not resolve to die3 death had too many charms to suit the self-condemnation that pursued me4 ,i found a horrible satisfaction in determining to live1 and to avenge upon myself the guilt ,i had incurred4 ,i was far from imagining that the evils ,i had yet suffered were a mere sport and ostentation of misery1 compared with those that were in reserve for me4 ,the state of mind ,i am here describing was not madness1 nor such as could be mistaken for madness4 ,i never forgot myself1 and what ,i was4 ,i was never in that delirium of thought1 in which the patient is restless and active without knowing what it is that he does1 and from which1 when roused1 he suddenly starts1 shakes off the dream that engaged him1 and stands astonished at himself4 ,mine was a rage1 guided and methodised by the discipline of despair4 ,i burst into no fits of raving2 ,i attempted no injury to any one4 ,marguerite therefore could not reconcile herself to the placing me under any restraint4 ,i frequently returned home1 with my clothes smeared with the soil1 and torn by the briars4 ,but my family soon became accustomed to my returning in personal safety2 and therefore1 whatever was the uneasiness my wife felt from my excursions1 she preferred the enduring it1 to the idea of imposing on me any species of violence4 ,the state of my family presented a singular contrast with that of its head4 ,marguerite was certainly not insensible to the opposition between her former and her present mode of life2 but she submitted to the change with such an unaffected cheerfulness and composure1 as might have extorted admiration from malignity itself4 ,she would perhaps have dismissed from her thoughts all retrospect to our former grandeur1 had not the dejection and despair that seemed to have taken possession of my mind forcibly and continually recalled it to her memory4 ,for my sufferings ,i am well assured she felt the truest sympathy2 but there was one consideration attending them that imperiously compelled her to task her fortitude4 ,they deprived me of the ability of in any degree providing for and superintending my family2 it became therefore incumbent upon her to exert herself for the welfare of all4 ,had we never fallen under this astonishing reverse1 ,i might have spent my whole life in daily intercourse with this admirable woman1 without becoming acquainted with half the treasures of her mind4 ,she was my steward2 and from the result of her own reflections made the most judicious disposition of my property4 ,she was my physician2 not by administering medicines to my body1 but by carefully studying and exerting herself to remove the distemper of mind4 ,unfortunately no distempers are so obstinate as mental ones2 yet1 had my distemper had any lighter source than an upbraiding conscience1 ,i am persuaded the wisdom of ,marguerite would have banished it4 ,she was the instructor of my children2 her daughters felt no want of a governess2 and ,i am even ready to doubt whether the lessons of his mother did not amply supply to ,charles his loss of an education in the university of ,paris4 ,the love of order1 the activity1 the industry1 the cheerfulness of1 let me say1 this illustrious matron1 became contagious to all the inhabitants of my roof4 ,once and again have ,i stolen a glance at them1 or viewed them from a distance busied1 sometimes gravely1 sometimes gaily1 in the plain1 and have whispered to my bursting heart1 8,how miserable am ,i6 how happy they6 ,so insurmountable is the barrier that divides innocence from guilt4 ,they may breathe the same air2 they may dwell under the same roof2 they may be of one family and one blood2 they may associate with each other every day and every hour2 but they can never assimilate1 never have any genuine contact4 ,is there a happier family than mine in all the valley of this far-famed republic8 ,is there a family more virtuous1 or more cultivated with all the refinements that conduce to the true dignity of man8 ,i1 ,i only am its burden and its stain6 ,the pleasure with which ,i am surrounded on every side finds a repellent quality in my heart that will not suffer its approach4 ,to whatever is connected with me ,i communicate misfortune4 ,whenever ,i make my appearance1 those countenances that at all other times spoke contentment and hilarity fall into sadness4 ,like a pestilential wind1 ,i appear to breathe blast to the fruits of nature1 and sickliness to its aspect40 ,marguerite expostulated with me in the most soothing manner upon the obstinacy of my malady4 8,my ,reginald6 my love60 said she1 8cease to be unhappy1 or to reproach yourself6 ,you were rash in the experiment you made upon the resources of your family4 ,but have you done us mischief1 or have you conferred a benefit8 ,i more than half incline to the latter opinion4 ,let us at length dismiss artificial tastes1 and idle and visionary pursuits1 that do not flow in a direct line from any of the genuine principles of our nature6 ,here we are surrounded with sources of happiness4 ,here we may live in true patriarchal simplicity4 ,what is chivalry1 what are military prowess and glory8 ,believe me1 they are the passions of a mind depraved1 that with ambitious refinement seeks to be wise beyond the dictates of sentiment or reason6 ,there is no happiness so solid1 or so perfect1 as that which disdains these refinements4 ,you1 like me1 are fond of the luxuriant and romantic scenes of nature4 ,here we are placed in the midst of them4 ,how idle it would be1 to wish to change our arbours1 our verdant lanes and thickets1 for vaulted roofs1 and gloomy halls1 and massy plate6 ,alas1 ,reginald6 it is1 ,i fear1 too true1 that the splendour in which we lately lived has its basis in oppression2 and that the superfluities of the rich are a boon extorted from the hunger and misery of the poor6 ,here we see a peasantry more peaceful and less oppressed than perhaps any other tract of the earth can exhibit4 ,they are erect and independent1 at once friendly and fearless4 ,is not this a refreshing spectacle8 ,i now begin practically to perceive that the cultivators of the fields and the vineyards are my brethren and my sisters2 and my heart bounds with joy1 as ,i feel my relations to society multiply4 ,how cumbrous is magnificence6 ,the moderate man is the only free4 ,he who reduces all beneath him to a state of servitude becomes himself the slave of his establishment1 and of all his domestics4 ,to diminish the cases in which the assistance of others is felt absolutely necessary is the only genuine road to independence4 ,we can now move wherever we please without waiting the leisure of others4 ,our simple repasts require no tedious preparation1 and do not imprison us in saloons and eating rooms4 ,yet we partake of them with a more genuine appetite1 and rise from them more truly refreshed1 than from the most sumptuous feast4 ,i prepare for my meal by industry and exercise2 and when it is over1 amuse myself with my children in the fields and the shade4--,though ,i love the sight of the peasants1 ,i would not be a peasant4 ,i would have a larger stock of ideas1 and a wider field of activity4 ,i love the sight of peasants only for their accessories1 or by comparison4 ,they are comparatively more secure than any other large masses of men1 and the scenes in the midst of which they are placed are delightful to sense4 ,but ,i would not sacrifice in prone oblivion the best characteristics of my nature4 ,i put in my claim for refinements and luxuries2 but they are the refinements and purifying of intellect1 and the luxuries of uncostly1 simple taste4 ,i would incite the whole world1 if ,i knew how to do it1 to put in a similar claim4 ,i would improve my mind2 ,i would enlarge my understanding2 ,i would contribute to the instruction of all connected with me1 and to the mass of human knowledge4 ,the pleasures ,i would pursue and disseminate1 though not dependent on a large property1 are such as could not be understood by the rustic and the savage4--,our son1 bred in these fields1 indeed1 will probably never become a preux chevalier1 or figure in the roll of military heroes2 but he may become something happier and better4 ,he may improve his mind1 and cultivate his taste4 ,he may be the counsellor and protector of his sisters4 ,he may be the ornament of the district in which he resides4 ,he may institute in his adoptive country new defences for liberty1 new systems of public benefit1 and new improvements of life4 ,there is no character more admirable than the patriot-yeoman1 who unites with the utmost simplicity of garb and manners an understanding fraught with information and sentiment and a heart burning with the love of mankind4 ,such were ,fabricius and ,regulus among the ancients1 and such was ,tell1 the founder of the ,helvetic liberty4 ,for my part1 ,i am inclined to be thankful1 that this unexpected reverse in our circumstances has made me acquainted with new pleasures1 and opened to my mind an invaluable lesson4 ,if you could but be prevailed on to enter into our pleasures1 to dismiss idle reproaches and pernicious propensities1 our happiness would then be complete40 ,the expostulations of ,marguerite often excited my attention1 often my respect1 and sometimes produced a sort of imperfect conviction4 ,but the conviction was transient1 and the feelings ,i have already described as properly my own returned1 when the fresh and vivid impression of what ,i had heard was gone4 ,it was in vain that ,i heard the praises of simplicity and innocence4 ,i was well pleased to see those who were nearest to me not affecting contentment1 but really contented with these things4 ,but ,i could not be contented for them4 ,the lessons of my education had left too deep an impression4 ,i could myself have surrendered my claim to admiration and homage1 as a penance for my misdeeds2 but ,i could not figure to myself a genuine satisfaction unaccompanied by these accessories3 and this satisfaction ,i obstinately and impatiently coveted for those ,i loved4 ,,chapter ,,viii4 ,while ,i murmured in bitterness of soul at the lowness to which my family was reduced1 a still heavier calamity impended1 as if in vengeance against the fantastic refinements of distress over which ,i brooded4 ,i was wandering1 as ,i had often done1 with a gloomy and rebellious spirit1 among the rocks1 a few miles distant from the place of our habitation4 ,it was the middle of summer4 ,the weather had been remarkably fine2 but ,i disdained to allow the gratifications which arise from a pure atmosphere and a serene sky to find entrance in my soul4 ,my excursions had for some days been incessant2 and the sun1 which matured the corn and blackened the grapes around1 had imbrowned my visage1 and boiled in my blood4 ,i drank in fierceness and desperation from the fervour of his beams4 ,one night1 as in sullen mood ,i watched his setting from a point of the rock1 ,i perceived the clearness of the day subsiding in a threatening evening4 ,the clouds gathered in the west2 and1 as night approached1 were overspread with a deep dye of the fiercest crimson4 ,the wind rose2 and1 during the hours of darkness1 its roarings were hollow and tempestuous4 ,in the morning the clouds were hurried rapidly along1 and the air was changed from a long series of sultriness to a nipping cold4 ,this change of the atmosphere ,i disregarded1 and pursued my rambles4 ,a little before noon1 however1 the air suddenly grew so dark1 as to produce a sensation perfectly tremendous4 ,i felt as if the darkest night had never exceeded it4 ,the impetuous motion to which ,i had been impelled1 partly by the fever in my blood1 and partly by the turbulence of the season1 was suspended4 ,mechanically ,i looked round me for shelter4 ,but ,i could ill distinguish the objects that were near me1 when a flash of lightning1 blue and sulphureous1 came directly in my face1 with a brightness that threatened to extinguish the organ of vision4 ,the thunder that followed was of a length and loudness to admit of no comparison from any object with which ,i am acquainted4 ,the bursts were so frequent as almost to confound themselves with each other4 ,at present ,i thought only of myself2 and the recent habits of my mind were not calculated to make me peculiarly accessible to fear4 ,i stood awe-struck2 but rather with the awe that inheres to a cultivated imagination1 than that which consists in apprehension4 ,i seemed ready to mount amidst the clouds1 and penetrate the veil with which nature conceals her operations4 ,i would have plunged into the recesses in which the storm was engendered1 and bared my bosom to the streaming fire4 ,meanwhile my thoughts were solemnised and fixed by observing the diversified dance of the lightnings upon the points of the rocks1 contrasting as they did in the strongest manner with the darkness in which the rest of the scene was enveloped4 ,this added contention of the elements did not1 however1 suspend the raging of the wind4 ,presently a storm of mingled hail and rain poured from the clouds1 and was driven with inconceivable impetuosity4 ,the hailstones were of so astonishing a magnitude1 that1 before ,i was aware1 ,i was beaten by them to the ground4 ,not daring to attempt to rise again1 ,i simply endeavoured to place myself in such a manner as might best protect me from their violence4 ,i therefore remained prostrate1 listening to the force with which they struck upon the earth1 and feeling the rebound of their blows from different parts of my body4 ,in about twenty minutes the shower abated1 and in half an hour was entirely over4 ,when ,i began to move1 ,i was surprised at the sensation of soreness which ,i felt in every part of me4 ,i raised myself upon my elbow1 and saw the hailstones1 in some places lying in heaps like hillocks of ice1 while in others they had ploughed up the surface1 and buried themselves in the earth4 ,as ,i looked further1 ,i perceived immense trees torn from their roots1 and thrown to a great distance upon the declivity4 ,to the noise that they made in their descent1 which must have been astonishingly great1 ,i had been at the time insensible4 ,such were the marks which the tempest had left upon the mountains4 ,in the plain it was still worse4 ,i could perceive the soil for long spaces together converted into a morass1 the standing corn beaten down and buried in the mud1 the vines torn into a thousand pieces1 the fruit trees demolished1 and even in some places the animals themselves1 lambs1 sheep1 and cows1 strewing the fields with their mangled carcasses4 ,the whole hopes of the year over which my eyes had glanced a few minutes before1 for it was near the period of harvest1 were converted into the most barren and dreary scene that any quarter of the globe ever witnessed4 ,i was mounted upon a considerable eminence1 and had an extensive prospect of this horrible devastation4 ,as ,i stood gazing in mute astonishment1 suddenly a fear came over me that struck dampness to my very heart4 ,what was the situation of my own family and their little remaining property1 amidst this dreadful ruin8 ,i was in a position where1 though ,i nearly faced our habitation1 a point of the rock intercepted it from my sight4 ,the obstacle was but a small one1 yet it would require a considerable circuit to overcome4 ,i flew along the path with a speed that scarcely permitted me to breathe4 ,when ,i had passed the upper rock1 the whole extensive scene opened upon me in an instant4 ,what were my sensations1 when ,i perceived that the devastation had been even more complete here than on the side where ,i first viewed it6 ,my own cottage in particular1 which that very morning had contained1 and ,i hoped continued to contain1 all that was most dear to my heart1 seemed to stand an entire solitude in the midst of an immense swamp4 ,marguerite1 whose idea1 upon our retreat into ,switzerland1 had been that of conforming without reserve to the new situation that was allotted us1 had immediately expended the whole of what remained from the shipwreck of our fortune1 in the purchase of the cottage in which we dwelt1 and a small portion of land around it1 sufficient with economy for the support of our family4 ,under her direction the hills had been covered with vines1 and the fields with corn4 ,she had purchased cows to furnish us with milk1 and sheep with their fleeces1 and had formed her establishment upon the model of the ,swiss peasantry in our neighbourhood4 ,reverting to the simplicity of nature1 appeared to her like building upon an immovable basis1 which the clash of nations could not destroy1 and which was too humble to fear the treachery of courts1 or the caprice of artificial refinement4 ,it was all swept away in a moment4 ,our little property looked as if it had been particularly a mark for the vengeance of ,heaven1 and was more utterly destroyed than any of the surrounding scenes4 ,there was not a tree left standing2 there was not a hedge or a limit that remained within or around it2 chaos had here resumed his empire1 and avenged himself of the extraordinary order and beauty it had lately displayed4 ,i was not overwhelmed with this astonishing spectacle4 ,at that moment nature found her way to my heart1 and made a man of me4 ,i made light of these petty accessories of our existence2 and the thought of my wife and my children1 simply as they were in themselves1 filled every avenue of my heart4 ,for them1 and them alone1 ,i was interested3 it was a question for their lives4 ,to conceive what they might personally have sustained was a horror that seemed to freeze up all the arteries of my heart4 ,i descended from the mountain4 ,it was with the greatest difficulty1 and not without many circuitous deviations1 that ,i proceeded2 so much was the surface changed1 and so deep and miry the swamps4 ,my terror increased1 as ,i passed near to the carcasses of the animals who had fallen victims to this convulsion of the elements4 ,i observed1 with inconceivable alarm1 that the dead or wounded bodies of some human beings were intermingled with the brute destruction4 ,i stayed not to enquire whether they were yet in a state to require assistance2 the idea that had taken possession of me left no room for the sentiment of general humanity4 ,a little further on ,i distinctly remarked the body of a woman at some distance from any habitation1 who appeared to be dead1 destroyed by the storm4 ,near her lay a female infant1 apparently about six years of age4 ,my attention was involuntarily arrested2 ,i thought of ,louisa1 that sweet and amiable child1 so like her admirable mother4 ,the figure was hers2 the colour of the robe corresponded to that in which ,i last saw her4 ,the child was lying on her face4 ,with all the impatient emotions of a father1 ,i stooped down4 ,i turned over the body1 that ,i might identify my child4 ,it was still warm2 life had scarcely deserted it4 ,i gazed upon the visage2 it was distorted with the agonies of death3 but enough to convince me still remained discernible2 it was not ,louisa6 ,i can scarcely recollect a period through all the strange vicissitudes of my existence to be compared with this4 ,if ,i had not felt what ,i then felt1 ,i could never have conceived it4 ,human nature is so constituted1 that the highest degree of anguish1 an anguish in which the heart stretches itself to take in the mightiness of its woe1 can be felt but for a few instants4 ,when the calamity we feared is already arrived1 or when the expectation of it is so certain as to shut out hope1 there seems to be a principle within us by which we look with misanthropic composure on the state to which we are reduced1 and the heart sullenly contracts and accommodates itself to what it most abhorred4 ,our hopes wither2 and our pride1 our self-complacence1 all that taught us to rejoice in existence1 wither along with them4 ,but1 when hope yet struggles with despair1 or when the calamity abruptly announces itself1 then is the true contention1 the tempest and uproar of the soul too vast to be endured4 ,this sentiment of ineffable wretchedness ,i experienced1 when ,i stooped down over the body of the imaginary ,louisa1 and when ,i hastened to obtain the certainty which was of all things most terrible to me4 ,the termination of such a moment of horror is scarcely less memorable than its intrinsic greatness4 ,in an instant the soul recovers its balance1 and the thought is as if it has never been4 ,i clapped my hands in an ecstasy at once of joy and astonishment1 so sure did ,i seem to have made myself of my misfortune2 ,i quitted the body with an unburdened heart2 ,i flew towards my home1 that ,i might ascertain whether ,i was prematurely speaking comfort to my spirit4 ,at length ,i reached it4 ,i saw the happy group assembled at the door4 ,marguerite had entertained the same terrors for me1 with which ,i had myself so lately been impressed4 ,we flew into each other's arms4 ,she hid her face in my neck1 and sobbed audibly4 ,i embraced each of the children in turn1 but ,louisa with the most heartfelt delight4 8,are you safe1 papa80--8,are you safe1 my child80 were echoed on every side4 ,a spectator1 unacquainted with what was passing in our hearts1 would certainly have stood astonished to see the transport with which we exulted1 surrounded as we were with desolation and ruin4 ,after an interval1 however1 we opened our eyes1 and began to ruminate upon the new condition in which we were placed4 ,marguerite and myself watched each other's countenances with anxiety1 to discover what were likely to be the feelings of either in this terrible crisis4 8,be of good heart1 my love10 said ,marguerite2 8do not suffer the accident which has happened entirely to overcome you40 ,there was a mixed compassion1 tenderness1 and anxiety in the tone of voice with which she uttered these words1 that was inexpressibly delightful4 8,no1 ,marguerite10 replied ,i1 with enthusiastic impetuosity1 8,i am not cast down2 ,i never shall be cast down again4 ,ruin is nothing to me1 so long as ,i am surrounded with you and our dear children4 ,i have for some time been a fool4 ,in the midst of every real blessing1 ,i have fashioned for myself imaginary evils4 ,but my eyes are now opened4 ,how easily is the human mind induced to forget those benefits with which we are constantly surrounded1 and our possession of which we regard as secure6 ,the feelings of this morning have awakened me4 ,i am now cured of my folly4 ,i have learned to value my domestic blessings as ,i ought4 ,having preserved them1 ,i esteem myself to have lost nothing4 ,what are gold and jewels and precious utensils8 ,mere dross and dirt4 ,the human face and the human heart1 reciprocations of kindness and love1 and all the nameless sympathies of our nature1--these are the only objects worth being attached to4 ,what are rank and station8--the homage of the multitude and the applause of fools4 ,let me judge for myself6 ,the value of a man is in his intrinsic qualities2 in that of which power cannot strip him1 and which adverse fortune cannot take away4 ,that for which he is indebted to circumstances1 is mere trapping and tinsel4 ,i should love these precious and ingenuous creatures before me better1 though in rags1 than the children of kings in all the pomp of ornament4 ,i am proud to be their father4 ,whatever may be my personal faults1 the world is my debtor for having been the occasion of their existence4 ,but they are endeared to me by a better principle than pride4 ,i love them for their qualities4 ,he that loves1 and is loved by1 a race of pure and virtuous creatures1 and that lives continually in the midst of them1 is an idiot1 if he does not think himself happy4 ,surrounded as ,i am now surrounded1 ,i feel as irremovable as the pillars of creation4 ,nothing that does not strike at their existence can affect me with terror40 ,marguerite viewed me with surprise and joy4 8,now indeed10 said she1 8you are the man ,i took you for1 and the man ,i shall henceforth be prouder than ever to call my husband4 ,the sorrow in which you lately indulged was a luxury2 and we must have done with luxuries4 ,you will be our protector and our support40 ,thus saying1 she took me by the hand1 and motioned me to view with her the devastation that had been committed4 ,there was one path ,i had discovered1 in which we might proceed some way with tolerable ease4 ,the scene was terrible4 ,we were indeed beggars4 ,a whole province had been destroyed3 all the corn and the fruits of the earth2 most of the trees2 in many places cattle2 in some places men4 ,persons who had been rich in the morning saw all the produce of their fields annihilated1 and were unable even to guess by what process fertility was to be re-established4 ,the comparatively wealthy scarcely knew how they were to obtain immediate subsistence2 the humbler class1 who always live by the expedients of the day1 saw nothing before them but the prospect of perishing with hunger4 ,we witnessed1 in one or two instances1 the anguish of their despair4 ,our prospect was scarcely in any respect better than theirs2 yet we felt differently4 ,we were more impressed with the joy of our personal escape4 ,as my error respecting the value of externals had been uncommonly great1 the sudden revolution of opinion ,i experienced was equally memorable4 ,the survey1 indeed1 that we took of the general distress somewhat saddened our hearts2 but the sadness it gave was that of sobriety1 not of dejection4 ,it was incumbent upon us to make a strict examination into the amount of our property1 and our immediate resources2 and in this office ,i united myself with ,marguerite1 not only with a degree of cheerfulness and application1 the perfect contrast of my whole conduct ever since our arrival in ,switzerland1 but which greatly exceeded any thing ,i had ever before exhibited in a business of this nature4 ,we found that1 though all our hopes of a harvest were annihilated1 yet we were not destitute of the instant means of subsistence4 ,the resources we possessed1 whether in money or provisions1 that were our dependence till the period when the new produce should supply their place1 were uninjured4 ,our implements of husbandry remained as before4 ,the land was not impoverished1 but had rather derived additional fertility from the effects of the storm4 ,what we had lost was chiefly the produce of our capital for one year1 together with a part of that capital itself in the live stock that had been destroyed4 ,this was a loss which a certain degree of care and scope in our external circumstances might easily have enabled us to supply4 ,but the principle of supply was denied us4 ,it was with considerable difficulty that all the economy of ,marguerite had enabled her to support our family establishment1 while every thing of this kind had gone on prosperously4 ,such a shock as the present we were totally disqualified to surmount4 ,it compelled us to a complete revolution of our affairs4 ,many indeed of our neighbours had scarcely any greater advantage in their private affairs than ourselves4 ,but they possessed one superiority that proved of the greatest importance in this conjuncture2 they were natives of the state in which they resided4 ,in the cantons of ,switzerland1 the destruction of the fruits of the earth1 occasioned by inclement seasons and tempests1 is by no means unfrequent2 and it is therefore customary1 in plentiful years1 to lay up corn in public magazines1 that the people may not perish in periods of scarcity4 ,these magazines are placed under the inspection and disposal of the magistracy2 and the inhabitants looked to them with confidence for the supply of their need4 ,no storm1 however1 had occurred in the memory of man so terrible and ruinous as the present2 and it became evident that the magazines would prove a resource too feeble for the extent of the emergency4 ,the storm had spread itself over a space of many leagues in circumference1 not only in the canton of ,soleure1 but in the neighbouring cantons1 particularly that of ,berne4 ,the sufferers1 in our own canton only1 amounted to scarcely less than ten thousand4 ,while the women and children1 for the most part1 remained at home1 the houses having in general suffered little other damage than the destruction of their windows1 the fathers of families repaired to the seat of government to put in their claims for national relief2 and these alone formed an immense troop1 that threatened little less than to besiege the public magazines and the magistrates4 ,an accurate investigation was entered into of the losses of each1 it being the purpose of government1 as far as its power extended1 not only to supply the people with the means of immediate subsistence1 but also1 by disbursements from the public treasury1 to recruit the stock of cattle1 and to assist every one to return1 with revived hopes and expectation1 to the sphere of his industry4 ,the purpose was no doubt benevolent2 but1 in the mean time1 the unhappy victims found in uncertainty and expectation a real and corroding anguish4 ,i advanced my claim with the rest1 but met with a peremptory refusal4 ,the harsh and rigorous answer ,i received was1 that they had not enough for their own people1 and could spare nothing to strangers4 ,upon this occasion ,i was compelled to feel what it was to be an alien1 and how different the condition in which ,i was now placed from that ,i had filled in my native country4 ,there ,i had lived in the midst of a people1 to whom the veneration of my ancestry and name seemed a part of their nature4 ,they had witnessed for several years the respectable manner in which ,i lived2 the virtues of ,marguerite were familiar to them2 and they took an interest in every thing that concerned us1 a sentiment that confessed us at once for kindred and patrons4 ,it was the turn of mind only which is generated by rank1 that had compelled us to quit their vicinity2 we might have continued in it1 if not in affluence1 at least enjoying the gratifications that arise from general affection and respect4 ,but here we were beheld with an eye of jealousy and distaste4 ,we had no prejudice of birth and habit in our favour2 indeed1 in the reverse of fortune which had brought us hither1 ,marguerite had been less desirous of obtruding1 than of withdrawing from the public eye1 the circumstance of our rank4 ,we were too recent inmates to have secured1 by any thing of a personal nature1 an advantageous opinion among our neighbours4 ,they saw only a miserable and distracted father of a family1 and a mother who1 in spite of the simplicity she cultivated1 sufficiently evinced that she had been accustomed to a more elevated situation4 ,the prepossessions of mankind are clearly unfavourable to a new-comer1 an emigrant who has quitted his former connections and the scenes of his youth4 ,they are unavoidably impelled to believe1 that his taking up his abode in another country must be owing to a weak and discreditable caprice1 if it be not owing to something still more disadvantageous to his character4 ,the calamity therefore which we had suffered in common with most of the inhabitants of the province1 finally reduced us to the necessity of a second emigration4 ,the jealousy with which we were regarded1 daily became more visible and threatening4 ,though1 in consequence of the distribution made by order of the state1 the price of commodities was not so much increased as might have been expected1 we were considered as interlopers upon the portion of the natives2 the sellers could with difficulty be persuaded to accommodate us1 and the bystanders treated us with murmurs and reviling4 ,while we were deliberating what course to pursue in this emergency1 certain officers of government one morning entered our habitation1 producing an order of the senate for our immediate removal out of the territory4 ,it is of the essence of coercive regulations1 to expel1 to imprison1 and turn out of prison1 the individuals it is thought proper to control1 without any care as to the mischiefs they may suffer1 and whether they perish under or survive the evil inflicted on them4 ,we were accordingly allowed only from six in the morning till noon1 to prepare for our departure4 ,our guards indeed offered to permit me to remain three days to wind up my affairs1 upon condition that my wife and children were instantly removed into another country1 as a sort of hostages for my own departure4 ,this indulgence however would have been useless4 ,in the present state of the country no purchaser could be found for the little estate ,i possessed2 and if there could1 it must doubtless have been disposed of to great disadvantage at such an emergency4 ,i know not how we should have extricated ourselves out of these difficulties1 if a member of the senate1 who1 being one of my nearest neighbours1 had been struck with admiration of the virtues of ,marguerite1 and with compassion for my family1 had not paid me a visit shortly after the arrival of the officers1 and generously offered to take upon himself the care of my property1 and to advance me what money might be necessary for my emigration4 ,this offer1 which at any other time might have been regarded as purely a matter of course1 under the present circumstances1 when capital was so necessary for the revival of agriculture in the desolated country1 implied a liberal and disinterested spirit4 ,i accepted the kindness of my neighbour in both its parts1 but for the reimbursement of his loan referred him to the ,french minister to the ,united ,cantons1 who1 under all the circumstances of the case1 and taking my estate as security for the money advanced1 ,i thought it reasonable to believe would attend to my application4 ,,chapter ,,ix4 ,my affairs being thus far adjusted1 ,i took leave of my late habitation1 and set off with my wife and children the same afternoon4 ,in the evening we arrived at ,basle1 where we were permitted to remain that night2 and the next morning were conducted in form out at the north gate of the city1 where our attendants quitted us1 with a fresh prohibition under the severest penalties1 if we were found within the ensuing twelve months in any of the territories of the ,helvetic republic4 ,marguerite and myself had already formed our plan4 ,we began with dismissing both our servants4 ,an attendant was no longer necessary to me1 nor a nurse for the infant4 ,the suggestion of this measure originated in myself4 ,my temper at this time1 as ,i have already said1 underwent a striking change4 ,i was resolved to be happy2 ,i was resolved to be active4 ,it was hard to part with persons so long familiar to us1 and who appeared rather in the character of humble friends than domestics2 but an imperious necessity demanded it4 8,let us10 said ,i to ,marguerite1 8increase and secure our happiness by diminishing our wants4 ,i will be your husbandman and your labourer2 you may depend upon my perseverance4 ,my education has fitted me to endure hardship and fatigue1 though the hardships then thought of were of a different nature4 ,you have ever delighted in active usefulness2 and will not1 ,i know1 repine at this accumulation of employment4 ,let us accommodate ourselves to our circumstances4 ,our children1 ,i perceive1 are fated to be peasants1 and will therefore be eminently benefited by the example of patience and independence we shall set before them40 ,the next object of our plan related to the choice of our future place of residence4 ,this originated with ,marguerite4 ,she had heard much of the beauty and richness of the country bordering on the lake of ,constance1 and she thought that1 while we denied ourselves expensive pleasures1 or rather while they were placed out of our reach1 there would be a propriety in our procuring for ourselves a stock of those pleasures which would cost us nothing4 ,this was a refinement beyond me1 and serves to evince the superiority which ,marguerite's virtue and force of mind still retained over mine4 ,the virtue ,i had so recently adopted was a strenuous effort4 ,i rather resolved to be happy1 than could strictly be said to be happy4 ,i loved my children indeed with an unfeigned affection4 ,it was with sincerity that ,i professed to prefer them to all earthly possessions4 ,but vanity and ostentation were habits wrought into my soul1 and might be said to form part of its essence4 ,i could not1 but by the force of constant recollection1 keep them out of my wishes and hopes for the future4 ,i could not1 like ,marguerite1 suffer my thoughts1 as it were1 to riot and wanton in the pleasures of poverty4 ,i could only reconcile myself to my fate by a sort of gloomy firmness4 ,the tranquillity ,i seemed to have attained1 was an unnatural state of my soul1 to which it was necessary that ,i should resolutely hold myself down1 and from which my thoughts appeared ever upon the alert to escape4 ,bitter experience had at length taught me a hard lesson2 and that lesson ,i was determined to practise1 whatever pangs my resignation might cost me4 ,we proceeded without hesitation in the direction we had resolved to pursue4 ,our whole journey exceeded the space of forty leagues in extent1 and the expense necessarily attendant upon it 7our family1 even after its reduction1 consisting of no less than six persons71 drained our purse of a great part of the money which had been supplied to us by the benevolent senator4 ,but he had agreed to undertake the disposing of the property we were obliged to leave behind us1 and in the mean time1 if any considerable interval occurred before that was accomplished1 to furnish us with the sums that should be necessary for our subsistence4 ,we placed the utmost reliance upon his fidelity1 and dismissed from our minds all anxiety respecting the interval which our banishment had interposed between us and the resources necessary for our future settlement4 ,upon our arrival at ,constance1 we found a letter from our friend2 and though he transmitted to us no fresh supply1 the complexion of his communication was upon the whole so encouraging1 as to determine us1 with no other delay than that of four days' rest from our journey1 to pass to the other side of the lake1 and explore for ourselves a situation suitable to our design4 ,the western bank of the lake1 with the exception only of the city of ,constance1 was part of the pays conquis of the ,united ,cantons2 the eastern bank was a territory dependent on the government of that city4 ,it was in this territory that we purposed fixing our residence2 and we trusted1 that our affairs would shortly be put in a train to enable us to take possession of the spot we should select4 ,thus driven once more into flight by the pressure of misfortune1 and compelled to exchange for a land unknown the scenes which familiarity might have endeared1 or tender recollections have made interesting1 we did not sink under the weight of our adversity4 ,this removal was not like our last4 ,switzerland was to none of us endeared like the vales of ,st4 ,leon4 ,i was not now goaded and tormented by conscious guilt in the degree ,i had then been2 ,marguerite was not afflicted by the spectacle of my misery4 ,our present change1 though it might be denominated a fall1 was light in comparison with the former4 ,the composure ,i had gained was new to me1 and had to my own mind all the gloss of novelty4 ,to my companions it proved contagious2 they were astonished at my serenity1 and drew from it an unwonted lightness of heart4 ,thus circumstanced1 our tour had its charms for us all2 and there are few passages of my life that ,i have felt more agreeably4 ,the lake itself is uncommonly beautiful1 and its environs are fertile and interesting4 ,it is surrounded with an abundance of towns1 villages1 country seats1 and monasteries1 sufficient to adorn and diversify the view1 but not to exclude the sweetness of a rural scenery1 or the grand features of nature4 ,we coasted a considerable part of the lake1 that we might judge in some degree1 previously to our landing1 which part of the shore promised best to yield us the object we sought4 ,the autumn was now commencing2 the air was liquid and sweet2 the foliage was rich and varied2 and the vine-covered hills exhibited a warmth and luxuriance of colouring1 that no other object of nature or art is able to cope with4 ,surrounded with these objects1 ,i sat in my boat in the midst of my children2 and1 as ,i was but just awakened to an observation of their worth and my own happiness1 ,i viewed them with a transport that would be ill illustrated by being compared with the transport of a miser over his new-recovered treasure from the bowels of the deep4 ,o poverty6 exclaimed ,i1 with elevated and unconquerable emotion1 if these are the delights that attend thee1 willingly will ,i resign the pomp of palaces and the splendour of rank to whoever shall deem them worth his acceptance6 ,henceforth ,i desire only to dedicate myself to the simplicity of nature and the genuine sentiments of the heart4 ,i will enjoy the beauty of scenes cultivated by other hands than mine1 or that are spread out before me by the ,author of the universe4 ,i will sit in the midst of my children1 and revel in the luxury of domestic affections2 pleasures these1 that may be incumbered1 but cannot be heightened1 by all that wealth has in its power to bestow6 ,wealth serves no other purpose than to deprave the soul1 and adulterate the fountains of genuine delight4 ,such was the spirit of exultation with which my mind was at this time filled4 ,i am sensible that it was only calculated to be transitory4 ,i might learn to be contented2 ,i was not formed to be satisfied in obscurity and a low estate4 ,thus happy1 and thus amused1 we spent two days in coasting the lake1 landing frequently for the purposes either of variety or enquiry1 and regularly passing the night on shore4 ,on the evening of the second day we were struck with the neat appearance and pleasing situation of a cottage1 which we discovered in our rambles1 about a mile and a half from the lake4 ,we found that it was to be sold1 and it seemed precisely to correspond with the wishes we had formed4 ,it was at a considerable distance from any populous neighbourhood1 the nearest town being that of ,merspurg1 the usual residence of the bishops of ,constance1 which was distant from this spot not less than three leagues4 ,the cottage was situated in a valley2 the hills being for the most part crowned with rich and verdant foliage1 their sides covered with vineyards and corn1 and a clear transparent rivulet murmuring along from east to west4 ,in the distance a few similar cottages discovered themselves1 and in front there was an opening between the hills1 just wide enough to show us a few sails as they floated along the now even surface of the lake4 ,we approached the cottage1 and found in it only one person1 an interesting girl of nineteen1 who had resided there from her birth1 and had been employed for the last four years in attendance upon the closing scene of her mother4 ,her mother had been dead only a few weeks1 and she was upon the point of removing1 as she told us1 to the house of a brother1 the best creature in the world1 who was already married1 and had a family of children4 ,while we were talking with her1 we perceived a fine boy of about eleven years of age skipping along the meadow4 ,he proved to be her nephew1 and hastened to say that his father and ,mr4 ,henry were just behind1 and would be with her in a few minutes4 ,we waited their arrival2 and it was easy to see that ,mr4 ,henry was by no means an indifferent object in the eyes of the beautiful orphan3 she had probably conditioned that he should permit her to remain single as long as she could be of any use to her mother4 ,the lovers were well satisfied that the girl's brother should be taken aside1 that ,i might talk over with him the affair of the cottage4 ,we made a tour of the fields that were part of the property of the deceased1 and the terms of our intended purchase were easily adjusted4 ,though we had now accomplished the immediate purpose of our expedition1 yet1 as we had found unusual exhilaration and sweetness in the objects it presented to us1 we came to a resolution of continuing it still further1 and completing the circuit of the lake4 ,we were aware that it would be vain as yet to expect to receive the money requisite for completing our purchase2 and as no pleasure1 merely in the way of relaxation1 could be more delightful than that we were now enjoying1 so was it impossible that we could fill up our time in a more frugal manner than in this little voyage4 ,our gratification was not less1 but more perfect1 because it consisted of simple1 inartificial1 unbought amusements4 ,the scenes around us were refreshing and invigorating2 they were calculated1 temporarily at least1 to inspire gaiety and youth into decrepitude itself4 ,amidst these scenes we forgot our sorrows2 they were a kind of stream1 in which weariness and dejection plunged their limbs1 and came forth untired and alert4 ,they awakened in the mind all its most pleasing associations4 ,having already1 as we believed1 chosen the place of our future residence1 we busied ourselves in imagining all the accompaniments that would grow out of it4 ,we determined that poverty with health would not fail to be attended with its portion of pleasures4 ,the scenes of nature were all our own2 nor could wealth give them a more perfect1 or a firmer1 appropriation4 ,the affections and charities of habitude and consanguinity we trusted we should feel uninterrupted2 unincumbered with the ceremonies and trappings of life1 and in that rural plainness which is their genial soil4 ,after a leisurely and delightful voyage of six days1 we returned to ,constance4 ,we expected to have found on our return some further intelligence from the beneficent senator1 but in this we were disappointed4 ,the imagination however easily suggested to us a variety of circumstances that might have delayed the business he had undertaken2 and it was no forced inference to suppose that he deferred writing1 because he had nothing important to communicate4 ,at first therefore we suffered little uneasiness from the delay2 but as time proceeded1 and the silence of our protector continued1 the affair began to assume a more serious aspect4 ,the little stock we had brought with us in our exile was in a rapid progress of decay4 ,we had managed it with frugality2 though not at first with that anxious solicitude1 the necessity of which we now began to apprehend4 ,we had procured for ourselves two small and inconvenient apartments in an obscure alley of the city of ,constance4 ,we were in the act of meditating what steps it would be necessary to take in this unfortunate emergency1 when intelligence was brought us of the sudden decease of the person upon whose kindness and exertions we depended4 ,he was succeeded in his estate by his nephew1 a man of whom we had heard something during our residence in the neighbourhood1 and whose habits we understood to be diametrically the reverse of his predecessor's4 ,in short1 he had been represented to us as illiberal1 morose1 selfish1 and litigious2 a man who1 having suffered in one part of his life the hardships of poverty1 scrupled no means1 honourable or otherwise1 of removing it to the greatest practicable distance4 ,he had already reaped the succession some weeks1 when we heard of the event that put him in possession of it2 and the letters which ,i had more than once addressed to our protector had probably fallen into his hands4 ,these circumstances afforded no favourable augury of the treatment we might expect from him4 ,the first thing which seemed proper was to write to him1 which ,i accordingly did4 ,i acquainted him with the nature of the transaction between myself and his uncle1 and signified how necessary it was that we should come to a conclusion as speedily as possible4 ,i represented to him pathetically the condition to which ,i was born1 and the opulence in which ,i had passed many years of my life1 together with the contrast afforded by the present reduced and urgent circumstances of my family4 ,i entreated him to exert his generosity and justice in behalf of an unfortunate exile1 whom untoward events had deprived of the power of doing justice to himself4 ,to this letter ,i received no answer4 ,uncertain as to the cause of my correspondent's silence1 or even whether my letter had been received1 ,i wrote again4 ,my heart was wrung with this new adversity4 ,i was forbidden1 under pain of perpetual imprisonment1 to return to the territories of the republic1 and ,i had no friend to solicit in my behalf4 ,in ,constance ,i was utterly a stranger4 ,in ,switzerland1 my unfortunate habits of life1 the depression and solitude in which ,i had been merged1 deprived me of the opportunity of forming connections4 ,the deceased was the only person who had been disposed to interfere for me4 ,it was too probable that the silence of his successor was an indication of the hostility of his views4 ,i saw nothing before me but the prospect of my family perishing with want1 deprived of their last resource1 exiles and pennyless4 ,thus destitute and forlorn1 what could we do8 to what plan could we have recourse8 ,we had not so much as the means of providing ourselves with the implements of the humblest labour4 ,if we had1 could ,i1 under my circumstances1 resolve upon this8 ,could ,i give up the last slender pittance of my children while there was a chance of recovering it2 and1 by surrendering them to the slavery of perpetual labour1 devote them to the lowest degree of ignorance and degradation8 ,no2 ,i still clung to this final hope1 and was resolved to undertake any thing1 however desperate1 rather than part with it4 ,such were my feelings2 and1 in the new letter which ,i now despatched1 ,i poured out all the anguish of my soul4 ,a reply to this letter was at length vouchsafed4 ,the heir of my protector informed me1 that he knew nothing of the business to which ,i alluded2 that he had come into possession of the lands ,i described1 together with the other property of his late uncle1 and regarded himself as holding them by the same tenure2 that he found in the accounts of the estate a sum of money advanced to me1 which he might with the strictest justice regard as a debt1 and pursue me for it accordingly4 ,he should be liberal enough however so far to give credit to my story1 and to consider the sum in question as advanced upon a pledge of land3 in that case1 ,i might regard myself as sufficiently fortunate in having obtained even that amount at a time when1 but for the humanity or weakness of his uncle1 my estate would not have sold for a farthing4 ,meanwhile1 the forbearance which he proffered would1 he observed1 depend upon my conduct1 and be retracted if ,i afforded him cause for resentment4 ,he added1 that he despised my menaces and commands1 and that1 if ,i took a single step against him1 ,i should find it terminate in my utter ruin4 ,nothing could be more profligate than the style of his letter4 ,but its impotence was equal to its wickedness4 ,it was absurd to threaten to inflict ruin on a man whom ruin had already overtaken4 ,before the letter arrived1 ,i had disbursed the whole sum ,i brought with me from ,switzerland4 ,this entire annihilation of my resources seemed to steal on me unperceived4 ,finding that all reply to my importunity was either refused1 or deferred to an uncertain period1 ,i would willingly at all risks have sought the villain who thus obdurately devoted me and my family to destruction1 and have endeavoured to obtain justice in person4 ,but it was now too late4 ,before ,i felt the case thus desperate1 my finances were so far reduced as to make it impracticable for me to leave my wife and children enough to support them in my absence1 even if ,i had determined myself to set out upon this perilous expedition pennyless4 ,i resolved that1 if we did perish1 we would perish together4 ,penury was now advancing upon us with such rapid strides1 that the lowest and most scanty resources no longer admitted of neglect4 ,had a case thus desperate been encountered with timely attention1 it is not improbable that some of the various talents ,i had acquired in the course of my education would have furnished me with a means of subsistence not altogether plebeian or incompetent4 ,but1 with the uncertainty of my situation1 and totally unaccustomed as ,i was to regard my person or mind as a machine fitted for productive labour1 ,i had not looked to this question1 till the urgency of the case deprived me of every advantage ,i might otherwise have seized4 ,i was glad therefore to have recourse to menial occupation1 and sought employment under the gardener of the episcopal palace1 for whose service ,i was sufficiently qualified by my ten years' retreat in the ,bordelois4 ,that ,i might better adapt myself to the painful necessity of my situation1 ,i previously exchanged some of my own clothes for garments more suitable to the business ,i now solicited4 ,it was not till ,i had arrived within a very few days to the end of my resources2 that even this expedient1 by a sort of accident1 recurred to my mind4 ,marguerite1 though fully aware of the urgency of the case1 had1 as she afterwards told me1 imposed on herself a compulsory silence1 fearing for the inflamed and irritated frame of my mind1 and aware that the course of events would ultimately lead me to a point with which she dreaded to intermeddle4 ,this was for her a trying moment2 my lately recovered insanity obliging her to contemplate in silence our growing distress1 and to wait the attack of hunger and want that threatened to destroy us1 with an apparent tranquillity and cheerfulness4 ,for me1 so entire a revolution had taken place in my sentiments1 that ,i spurned with contempt1 so far as related to myself1 that pride of rank and romantic gallantry of honour1 which had formerly been my idols4 ,i submitted with a sort of gloomy contentment to the situation upon which my destiny drove me4 ,i regarded it as the natural result of my former misconduct2 and derived a sentiment of ease and relief from thus expiating1 as it were1 with the sweat of my brow1 the temptations to which ,i had yielded4 ,had ,i been myself only reduced thus low1 or had the produce of my labour been sufficient to purchase competence for my wife and the means of instruction for my family1 ,i can safely affirm that ,i should have found no consequence so direct from my own degradation as the means of silencing the reproaches of conscience and reconciling me to myself4 ,but when ,i returned in the evening with the earnings of my day's labour1 and found it incompetent to the procuring for those who depended on me the simplest means of subsistence1 then indeed my sensations were different4 ,my heart died within me4 ,i did not return after the fatigues of the day1 which1 to me who had not been accustomed to unremitted labour1 and who now began to feel that ,i was not so young as ,i had been at the siege of ,pavia1 were extremely trying1--,i did not return1 ,i say1 to a night of repose4 ,i became a very woman when ,i looked forward1 and endeavoured to picture to myself the future situation of my family4 ,i watered my pillow with my tears4 ,often1 when ,i imagined that my whole family were asleep1 ,i gave vent to my perturbated and distracted mind in groans3 ,marguerite would sometimes overhear me2 and with the gentlest suggestions of her admirable mind would endeavour to soothe my thoughts to peace4 ,for the present1 as ,i have said1 my earnings were incompetent1 and we found it necessary to supply the deficiency by the sale of the few garments1 not in immediate use1 that we still possessed4 ,what then would be the case when these were gone1 and when1 in addition to this1 it would be necessary to purchase not only food to eat1 and a roof to shelter1 but also clothes to cover us8 ,,chapter ,x4 ,these deficiencies ,i anxiously anticipated2 but there was another evil1 upon which ,i had not calculated1 that was still nearer and more overwhelming4 ,the mode of life in which ,i was now engaged1 so different from any thing to which ,i had been accustomed1 excessive fatigue1 together with the occasional heat of the weather1 the uneasiness of my mind1 and the sleeplessness of my nights1 all combined to throw me into a fever1 which1 though it did not last long1 had raged so furiously during the period of its continuance1 as to leave me in a state of the most complete debility4 ,while the disorder was upon me1 ,i was sensible of my danger2 and1 as the brilliant and consolatory prospects of life seemed for ever closed upon me1 ,i at first regarded my approaching dissolution with complacency1 and longed to be released from a series of woes1 in which ,i had been originally involved by my own folly4 ,this frame of mind however was of no great duration2 the more nearly ,i contemplated the idea of separation from those ,i loved1 the smaller was my resignation4 ,i was unwilling to quit those dear objects by which ,i still held to this mortal scene2 ,i shrunk with aversion from that barrier which separates us from all that is new1 mysterious1 and strange4 ,another train of ideas succeeded this1 and ,i began to despise myself for my impatience and cowardice4 ,it was by my vices that my family was involved in a long train of misfortunes2 could ,i shrink from partaking what ,i had not feared to create8 ,the greater were the adversities for which they were reserved1 the more ought ,i to desire to suffer with them4 ,i had already committed the evil2 in what remained1 it was reasonable to suppose ,i should prove their benefactor and not their foe4 ,it was incumbent on me to soothe and to animate them1 to enrich their minds with cheerfulness and courage1 and to set before them an example of philosophy and patience4 ,by my faculties of industry ,i was their principal hope2 and1 whatever we might suffer combined1 it was probable their sufferings would be infinitely greater1 if deprived of my assistance4 ,these reflections gave me energy2 and it seemed as if the resolute predilection ,i had conceived for life contributed much to my recovery4 ,one thing which strongly confirmed the change my mind underwent in this respect1 was a conversation that ,i overheard at a time when ,i was supposed to be completely in a state of insensibility1 but when1 though ,i was too much reduced to give almost any tokens of life1 my faculties of hearing and understanding what passed around me were entire4 ,charles came up to my bedside1 laid his hand upon mine as if to feel the state of the skin1 and1 with a handkerchief that was near1 wiped away the moisture that bedewed my face4 ,he had been fitted for many nurse-like offices by the unwearied attention he had exerted towards me in the paroxysm of my insanity4 ,having finished his task1 he withdrew from the bed1 and burst into tears4 ,his mother came up to him1 drew him to the furthest part of the room1 and in a low voice began the conversation4 8,do1 my dear boy1 go down stairs1 and get yourself something to eat4 ,you see1 your papa is quiet now40 8,i am afraid that will not last long2 and then he will be so restless1 and toss about so1 it is dreadful to see him40 8,i will watch1 ,charles1 and let you know40 8,indeed1 mamma1 ,i cannot eat now4 ,i will by and by40 8,you must try to eat1 ,charles1 or else you will make yourself quite ill4 ,if you were ill too1 it would be more than ,i could support40 8,i will not be ill1 mamma4 ,i assure you ,i will not4 ,but1 besides that ,i have no stomach1 ,i cannot bear to eat when there is hardly enough for my sisters40 8,eat1 boy4 ,do not trouble yourself about that4 ,we shall get more when that is gone4 ,god is good1 and will take care of us40 8,i know that ,god is good2 but for all that1 one must not expect to have every thing one wishes4 ,though ,god is good1 there are dreadful misfortunes in the world1 and ,i suppose we shall have our share of them40 8,come1 ,charles1 though you are but a boy1 you are the best boy in the world4 ,you are now almost my only comfort2 but you will not be able to comfort me if you do not take care of yourself40 8,dear mamma6--,do you know1 mamma1 ,i heard that naughty man below stairs count up last night how much rent you owed him for1 and swear you should not stay any longer if you did not pay him4 ,if ,i were a little bigger1 ,i would talk to him so that he should not dare to insult us in our distress4 ,but1 not being big enough1 ,i opened the door1 and went into the room1 and begged him for ,god's sake not to add to your distress4 ,and1 though he is so ugly1 ,i took hold of his hand1 and kissed it4 ,but it felt like iron1 which put me in mind of his iron heart1 and ,i cried ready to burst with mortification4 ,he did not say hardly a word40 8,he must be paid1 ,charles3 he shall be paid40 8,do you know1 mamma1 as soon as ,i left him ,i went to the bishop's gardens1 and spoke to the gardener8 ,i asked him1 if he had heard that my papa was ill1 and he said he had4 ,he said1 too1 he was very sorry1 and wanted to know what hand we made of it for want of the wages4 ,i told him1 we were sadly off1 and the man of the house had just been affronting me about his rent4 ,but1 said ,i1 cannot you give me something to do1 to weed or to rake8 ,i can dig a little too1 and scatter seed4 ,he asked1 if ,i knew weeds from flowers4 ,oh1 that ,i do6 said ,i4 ,well then1 said he1 there is not much you can do2 but you are a good boy1 and ,i will put you on the bishop's list4 ,but now1 mamma1 ,i have not the heart to work1 till ,i see whether papa will get well again40 ,while poor ,charles told his artless tale1 ,marguerite wept over him1 and kissed him again and again4 ,she called him the best child in the world1 and said that1 if ,i were but so fortunate as to recover1 with such a husband and such a son1 she should yet be the happiest of women4 8,oh1 my poor father60 exclaimed ,charles4 8,ever since the great hail-storm1 ,i have every hour loved him better than before4 ,i thought that was impossible1 but he is so gentle1 so kind1 so good-humoured1 and so patient6 ,i loved him when he was harsh1 and when he was out of his mind2 but nothing so well then as ,i have done since4 ,people that are kind and smile always do one good2 but nobody's smiles are like my father's4 ,it makes me cry with joy sometimes1 when ,i do but think of them4 ,pray1 papa10 added he1 coming up to the bedside1 and whispering1 yet with a hurried and passionate accent1 8get well6 ,do but get well1 and we will be so happy6 ,never was there a family so happy or so loving as we will be60 ,while he spoke thus1 ,i endeavoured to put out my hand1 but ,i could not2 ,i endeavoured to smile1 but ,i was unable3 my heart was in a feeble1 yet soothing1 tranquillity4 ,the accents of love ,i had heard1 dwelt upon my memory4 ,they had talked of distress1 but the sentiment of love was uppermost in my recollection4 ,i was too weak of frame to suffer intellectual distress2 no accents but those which carried balm to my spirit1 seemed capable of resting upon my ear4 ,from this hour ,i regularly grew better1 and1 as ,i recovered1 seemed to feel more and more vividly how enviable it was to be the head of a loving and harmonious family4 ,my recovery however was exceedingly slow1 and it was several weeks before ,i had so far recruited my strength as to be capable of my ordinary occupations4 ,in the mean time the pecuniary difficulties to which we were exposed hourly increased1 and the cheerful but insignificant labours of ,charles could contribute little to the support of a family4 ,the melancholy nature of our situation might perhaps have been expected to prevent the restoration of my health4 ,at first however it had not that effect4 ,the debilitated state of my animal functions led me1 by a sort of irresistible instinct1 to reject ideas and reflections which ,i should then have been unable to endure4 ,i saw the anxiety and affection of my family1 and ,i was comforted4 ,i saw the smiles of ,marguerite1 and ,i seemed insensible to the languor1 the saddened cheerfulness1 they expressed4 ,i did not perceive that1 while ,i was provided with every thing necessary in my condition1 my family were in want of the very bread that should sustain existence4 ,my health in the mean time improved1 and my perceptions became proportionably clearer4 ,symptoms of desolation and famine1 though as much as possible covered from my sight1 obtruded themselves1 and were remarked4 ,one day in particular ,i observed various tokens of this nature in silence1 and with that sort of bewildered understanding which at once labours for comprehension and resists belief4 ,the day closed2 and what ,i had perceived pressed upon my mind1 and excluded sleep4 ,now for the first time ,i exerted myself to recollect in a methodical way the state of my affairs2 for the severity of my illness had at length succeeded to banish from me all ideas and feelings but what related to the sensations it produced1 and to the objects around me2 and it was not without effort that ,i could once more fully call to mind the scenes in which ,i had been engaged4 ,the truth then by regular degrees rose completely to view2 and ,i began to be astonished1 that my poor wife and children had been able in any manner to get through the horrible evils to which they must have been exposed4 ,this thought ,i revolved in my mind for near two hours2 and the longer ,i dwelt upon it1 the more perturbed and restless ,i grew4 ,at length it became impossible for me to hold my contemplations pent up in my own bosom4 ,i turned to ,marguerite1 and asked her1 whether she were asleep4 ,she answered in the negative3 she had been remarking my restlessness1 and tenderly enquired respecting its cause4 8,how long10 said ,i1 8is it since ,i was taken with the fever80 8,a month to-morrow10 replied she4 8,it was of the most malignant and distressing kind while it lasted1 and ,i did not expect you to live4 ,but it has left you a fortnight2 and ,i hope1 ,reginald1 you find yourself getting strong again40 8,and so we are here in ,constance1 and we have left ,switzerland----80 8,three months1 my love60 8,i remember very well the letter we received from monsieur ,grimseld2 has any further intelligence reached us from that quarter80 8,none40 8,none6 ,no supply of any kind has reached you80 8,my dear ,reginald1 talk of something else6 ,you will soon1 ,i hope1 be well3 our children are all alive2 and the calamity1 that has not succeeded to separate us1 or to diminish our circle of love even by a single member1 we will learn to bear4 ,let us fix our attention on the better prospects that open before us60 8,stay1 ,marguerite6 ,i have other questions to ask4 ,before you require me to bear the calamities that have overtaken us1 let me understand what these calamities are4 ,while we waited for intelligence from ,switzerland1 we expended the whole sum that we brought with us1 and ,i was obliged to hire myself to the episcopal gardener for bread2 was it not so80 8,indeed1 ,reginald1 you are to blame6 ,pray question me no further60 8,this was our condition some time ago2 and now1 for a month past1 ,i have been incapable of labour4 ,marguerite1 what have you done80 8,indeed1 my love1 ,i have been too anxious for you1 to think much of any thing else4 ,we had still some things1 you know1 that we could contrive to do without2 and those ,i have sold4 ,charles too1 our excellent-hearted son1 has lately hired himself to the gardener1 and has every night brought us home a little1 though it was but little40 8,dear boy6 ,what children1 what a wife1 have ,i brought to destruction6 ,our rent too1 surely you have not been able to pay that80 8,not entirely4 ,in part ,i have been obliged to pay it40 8,ah6 ,i well remember how flinty-hearted a wretch has got the power over us in that respect60 8,he has not turned us out of doors4 ,he threatened hard several times4 ,at last ,i saw it was necessary to make an effort1 and the day before yesterday ,i paid him half his demand4 ,if ,i could have avoided that1 we might have had a supply of food a little longer4 ,i intreated earnestly for a little further indulgence1 but it was in vain4 ,it went against the pride and independence of my soul to sue to this man2 but it was for you and for my children60 8,remorseless wretch6 ,then every petty resource we had is gone80 8,indeed ,i do not know that we have any thing more to sell4 ,i searched narrowly yesterday2 but ,i will examine again to-day4 ,the poor children must have something to support them1 and their fare has of late been dreadfully scanty40 8,their fare6 ,what have they eaten80 8,bread2 nothing else for the last fortnight60 8,and yourself80 8,oh1 ,reginald6 it was necessary1 you know1 that ,i should keep myself alive4 ,but1 ,i assure you1 ,i have robbed them as little as ,i could40 8,horror1 horror6 ,marguerite1 what is it you dream of8 ,i see my wife and children dying of hunger1 and you talk to me of hope and of prospects6 ,why has this detail of miseries been concealed from me8 ,why have ,i been suffered1 with accursed and unnatural appetite1 to feed on the vitals of all ,i love80 8,reginald6 even selfishness itself would have taught us that6 ,it is to your recovery that we look for our future support60 8,mock me not1 ,i adjure you1 with senseless words6 ,you talk idly of the future1 while the tremendous present bars all prospect to that future4 ,we are perishing by inches4 ,we have no provision for the coming day6 ,no1 no2 something desperate1 something yet unthought of1 must be attempted6 ,i will not sit inactive1 and see my offspring around me die in succession4 ,no1 by ,heaven6 ,though ,i am starving like ,ugolino1 ,i am not1 like ,ugolino1 shut up in a dungeon6 ,the world is open2 its scenes are wide2 the resources it offers are1 to the bold and despairing1 innumerable6 ,i am a father1 and will show myself worthy of the name60 8,reginald6 torture me not by language like this6 ,think what it is to be indeed a father1 and make yourself that6 ,be careful of yourself2 complete your recovery1--and leave the rest to me6 ,i have conducted it thus far1 nor am ,i yet without hope4 ,eight days ago ,i applied to the secretary of the palace1 representing your case as a retainer of the bishop1 disabled by sickness1 and with a family unprovided for4 ,till yesterday ,i got no answer to my memorial2 and then he informed me1 that you had been so short a time in employ1 that nothing could be done for you4 ,but to-day ,i will throw myself at the feet of the bishop himself1 who arrived last night only from the other side of the lake40 ,every word that ,marguerite uttered went to my heart4 ,it was not long before the dawn of the day1 and the truths ,i had heard were further confirmed to me by the organ of sight4 ,the sentiments of this night produced a total revolution in me1 and ,i was no longer the feeble convalescent that the setting sun of the preceding day had left me4 ,the film was removed from my eyes1 and ,i surveyed not the objects around me with a glassy eye and unapprehensive observation4 ,all the powers ,i possessed were alert and in motion4 ,to my suspicious and hurried gaze the apartment appeared stripped of its moveables1 and left naked1 a mansion in which for despair to take up his abode4 ,my children approached me2 ,i seemed to read the wan and emaciated traces of death in their countenances4 ,this perhaps was in some degree the painting of my too conscious thoughts4 ,but there needed no exaggeration to awaken torture in my bosom1 when1 thus stimulated1 ,i observed for the first time the dreadful change that had taken place in ,marguerite4 ,her colour was gone2 her cheeks were sunk2 her eye had the quickness and discomposure expressive of debility4 ,i took hold of her hand1 and found it cold1 emaciated1 and white4 ,i pressed it to my lips with agony2 a tear unbidden fell from my eye1 and rested upon it4 ,having finished my examination1 ,i took my hat1 and was hastening to escape into the street4 ,marguerite noted my motions1 and anxiously interposed to prevent my design4 ,she laid her hand on my arm gently1 yet in a manner full of irresistible expostulation4 8,where would you go8 ,what have you purposed8 ,do not1--,oh1 do not1 destroy a family1 to whom your life1 your sobriety1 and prudence1 are indispensable60 ,i took her hand within both mine4 8,compose yourself1 my love6 ,i have been your enemy too much already1 to be capable now1 so much as in thought1 of adding to my guilt6 ,i need an interval for musing and determination4 ,i will return in a very short time1 and you shall be the confidant of my thoughts60 ,with wild and impatient spirit ,i repassed in idea the whole history of my life4 ,but principally ,i dwelt in recollection upon the marquis de ,damville1 that generous friend1 that munificent benefactor1 whose confidence ,i had so ill repaid4 8,damville60 exclaimed ,i1 8you trusted to me your daughter1 the dearest thing you knew on earth2 you believed that the wretch did not live who could be unjust to so rich a pledge4 ,look down1 look down1 ,o best of men6 from the heaven to which your virtues have raised you1 and see of how much baseness man--yes1 the man you disdained not to call your friend--is capable6 ,but1 no6 a sight like this might well convert the heaven you dwell in to hell6 ,you trusted her to me2 ,i have robbed her6 ,you enriched her mind with the noblest endowments2 ,i have buried them in the mire of the vilest condition6 ,all her generous1 her unwearied exertions are fruitless2 by my evil genius they are blasted6 ,i have made her a mother1 only that she might behold her children perishing with hunger6 ,they stretch out their hands to me for the smallest portion of that inheritance1 which ,i have squandered in more than demoniac vice6 ,this1 this is the fruit of my misdeeds6 ,i am now draining the last dregs of that mischief1 of which ,i have so wickedly1 so basely1 been the author60 ,as ,i returned ,i met ,marguerite1 who was come from her attempt upon the bishop4 ,he had received her paper1 and delivered it to his secretary1 that very secretary who had already disappointed all her expectations from that quarter4 ,she had attempted to speak1 to adjure the bishop1 whatever he did1 not to deliver her over to a man by whom her hopes had been so cruelly frustrated2 but the tumult of the scene drowned her voice1 and the hurry and confusion overpowered her efforts4 ,they1 however1 drew such a degree of attention on her1 that1 in the dissentions which religious broils at that time spread in ,constance1 she was suspected of pressing thus earnestly towards the person of the bishop with no good design1 and in fine was rudely thrust out of the palace4 ,she had not recovered from the agitation into which she had been thrown1 when ,i met her4 ,i eagerly enquired into the cause of her apparent distress2 but she shook her head mournfully1 and was silent4 ,i easily understood where she had been1 and the failure of her experiment4 8,all then10 said ,i1 8is at an end4 ,now1 ,marguerite1 you must give up your experiments1 and leave to me the cure of evils of which ,i only am the author4 ,i will return this instant to the garden of the palace1 and resume the situation ,i formerly occupied40 8,for ,god's sake1 ,reginald1 what is it you mean8 ,you have just acquired strength to seek the benefit of air4 ,the least exertion fatigues you4 ,at this moment1 the little walk you have taken has covered you with perspiration4 ,you could not dig or stoop for a quarter of an hour without being utterly exhausted40 8,marguerite1 ,i will not sit down tamely1 and see my family expire4 ,in many cases it is reasonable to bid a valetudinarian take care of himself4 ,but our situation is beyond that4 ,i must do something4 ,extraordinary circumstances often bring along with them extraordinary strength4 ,no man knows1 till the experiment1 what he is capable of effecting4 ,i feel at this moment no debility2 and ,i doubt not that the despair of my mind will give redoubled energy to my efforts40 ,while ,i spoke thus1 ,i was conscious that ,i had little more than the strength of a new-born child4 ,but ,i could not endure at such a time to remain in inactivity4 ,i felt as much ashamed of the debilitated state in which my fever had left me1 as ,i could have done of the most inglorious effeminacy and cowardice of soul4 ,i determined to relieve my family1 or perish in the attempt4 ,if all my efforts were vain1 ,i could not better finish my career1 than exhausted1 sinking1 expiring under a last exertion1 to discharge the duties of my station4 ,we returned into the house4 ,marguerite took from a closet the last remnant of provisions we had1 the purchase of poor ,charles's labour of the preceding day4 ,there was a general contest who should escape from receiving any part in the distribution4 ,charles had withdrawn himself1 and was not to be found4 ,julia endeavoured to abscond1 but was stopped by ,louisa and her mother4 ,she had wept so much1 that inanition seemed more dangerous for her1 than perhaps for any other of the circle4 ,no one can conceive1 who has not felt it1 how affecting a contest of this kind must appear to me1 sensible as ,i was to the danger that their virtue and generous affection were the prelude only to their common destruction4 ,i said1 there was a general contest who should avoid all share in the distribution2 but ,i recollect that the little ,marguerite1 two years and a half old1 exclaimed at first1 8,i am so hungry1 mamma60 ,but watching1 as she carefully did1 every thing that passed1 she presently laid down her bread upon the table in silence1 and almost untouched2 and being asked1 ,why she did so8 she replied1 in a tone of speaking sensibility1 8,thank you1 ,i am not hungry now60 ,this scene made an impression on my mind never to be forgotten4 ,it blasted and corrupted all the pulses of my soul4 ,a little before1 ,i had reconciled myself to poverty2 ,i had even brought myself to regard it with cheerfulness4 ,but the sentiment was now reversed4 ,i could endure it1 ,i could steel myself against its attacks2 but never from this hour1 in the wildest paroxysms of enthusiasm1 has it been the topic of my exultation or my panegyric4 ,no change of circumstances1 no inundation of wealth1 has had the power to obliterate from my recollection what ,i then saw4 ,a family perishing with hunger2 all that is dearest to you in the world sinking under the most dreadful of all the scourges with which this sublunary scene is ever afflicted2 no help near2 no prospect but of still accumulating distress2 a death1 the slowest1 yet the most certain and the most agonising1 that can befall us3 no1 there is nothing that has power to rend all the strings of the heart like this6 ,from this moment1 the whole set of my feelings was changed4 ,avarice descended1 and took possession of my soul4 ,haunted1 as ,i perpetually was1 by images of the plague of famine1 nothing appeared to me so valuable as wealth2 nothing so desirable as to be placed at the utmost possible distance from want4 ,an appetite of this kind is insatiable2 no distance seems sufficiently great2 no obstacles1 mountains on mountains of gold1 appear an inadequate security to bar from us the approach of the monster we dread4 ,while ,i speak of the sentiments which in the sequel were generated in my mind by what ,i now saw1 ,i am suspending my narrative in a crisis at which a family1 interesting1 amiable and virtuous1 is reduced to the lowest state of humiliation and distress4 ,they are moments like these1 that harden the human heart1 and fill us with inextinguishable hatred and contempt for our species4 ,they tear off the trappings and decoration of polished society1 and show it in all its hideousness4 ,the wanton eye of pampered pride pleases itself with the spectacle of cities and palaces1 the stately column and the swelling arch4 ,it observes at hand the busy scene1 where all are occupied in the various pursuits of pleasure or industry2 and admires the concert1 the wide-spreading confederacy1 by means of which each after his mode is unconsciously promoting the objects of others4 ,cheated by the outside of things1 we denominate this a vast combination for general benefit4 ,the poor and the famished man contemplates the scene with other thoughts4 ,unbribed to admire and applaud1 he sees in it a confederacy of hostility and general oppression4 ,he sees every man pursuing his selfish ends1 regardless of the wants of others4 ,he sees himself contemptuously driven from the circle where the rest of his fellow-citizens are busily and profitably engaged4 ,he lives in the midst of a crowd1 without one friend to feel an interest in his welfare4 ,he lives in the midst of plenty1 from the participation of which he is driven by brutal menaces and violence4 ,no man who has not been placed in his situation can imagine the sensations1 with which1 overwhelmed as he is with domestic ruin and despair1 he beholds the riot1 the prodigality1 the idiot ostentation1 the senseless expense1 with which he is surrounded on every side4 ,what were we to do8 ,were we to beg along the streets8 ,were we to in treat for wretched offals at rich men's doors8 ,alas6 this1 it was to be feared1 even if we stooped to the miserable attempt1 instead of satisfying wants for ever new1 would only prolong in the bitterness of anguish the fate for which we were reserved6---- ,an unexpected relief at this time presented itself4 ,while the scanty meal ,i have mentioned was yet unfinished1 a letter was presented me inclosing under its cover a bill of one hundred crowns4 ,the letter was from ,bernardin1 the faithful servant whom we found it necessary to dismiss three months before1 when we quitted our residence in ,switzerland4 ,it informed us that1 as soon as he had parted from us1 he had set out on his return to his native town1 next adjacent to my paternal residence2 that he found his father had died a short time before1 and that1 from the sale of his effects1 he had reaped an inheritance to triple the amount of the sum he had now forwarded to us4 ,he had heard by accident of the death of our friend in ,switzerland1 and the character of his successor1 and dreaded that the consequences might prove highly injurious to us4 ,he had still some business to settle with the surviving branches of his family1 but that would be over in a few weeks2 and then1 if we would allow him1 he would return to his dear master1 and afford us every assistance in his power4 ,the little property that had now fallen to him would prevent him from being a burthen2 and he would hire a spot of land1 and remain near us1 if we refused him the consolation of returning to his former employment4 ,what a reproach was it to me1 that1 descended from one of the most illustrious families in ,europe1 the heir of an ample patrimony1 and receiving a still larger fortune in marriage1 ,i should1 by the total neglect and profligate defiance of the duties incumbent on me1 have reduced myself so low as to be indebted to a peasant and a menial for the means of saving my family from instant destruction6 ,this was a deep and fatal wound to the pride of my soul4 ,there was however no alternative1 no possibility of rejecting the supply afforded us at so eventful a moment4 ,we determined to use it for the present1 and to repay it with the earliest opportunity2 and in the following week1 in spite of the remonstrances of ,marguerite1 the yet feeble state of my health1 and the penalties annexed to the proceeding1 ,i set off for the canton of ,soleure1 determined1 if possible1 to wrest the little staff of my family from the hand that so basely detained it4 ,i passed through ,zurich and a part of the canton of ,basle without obstacle2 these parts of ,switzerland had not suffered from the calamity which had occasioned our exile4 ,in proceeding further1 ,i found it necessary to assume a disguise1 and to avoid large towns and frequented roads4 ,i reached at length the well known scene in which ,i had so lately consumed twelve months of my life2 in which ,i first began to breathe 7to breathe1 not to be refreshed7 from ruin1 beggary1 and exile4 ,there was no pleasing recollection annexed to this spot2 it was a remembrancer of shame1 sorrow1 and remorse4 ,yet1 such is the power of objects once familiar1 revisited after absence1 that my eye ran over them with delight1 ,i felt lightened from the weariness of the journey1 and found that the recollection of pains past over and subdued was capable of being made a source of gratification4 ,the mountains among which ,i had wandered1 and consumed1 as it were1 the last dregs of my insanity1 surrounded me2 the path in which ,i was travelling led along one of their ridges4 ,i had performed this part of my journey by night2 and the first gleams of day now began to streak the horizon4 ,i looked towards the cottage1 the distant view of which had so often1 in moments of the deepest despair1 awakened in my heart the soothings of sympathy and affection4 ,i saw that as yet it remained in its forlorn condition1 and had undergone no repair2 while the lands around1 which had lately experienced the superintendence of ,marguerite1 had met with more attention1 and began to resume the marks of culture4 ,i sighed for the return of those days and that situation1 which1 while present to me1 had passed unheeded and unenjoyed4 ,i repaired to the house of my late protector1 now the residence of monsieur ,grimseld4 ,he was a meagre shrivelled figure2 and1 though scarcely arrived at the middle of human life1 exhibited all the marks of a premature old age4 ,i disclosed myself to him1 and began warmly to expostulate with him upon the profligacy of his conduct4 ,he changed colour1 and betrayed symptoms of confusion1 the moment ,i announced myself4 ,while ,i pressed him with the barbarity of his conduct1 the dreadful effects it had already produced1 and the incontestible justice of my claim1 he stammered1 and began to propose terms of accommodation4 ,during this conversation we were alone4 ,after some time1 however1 a servant entered the room1 and the countenance of the master assumed an expression of satisfaction and confidence4 ,he eagerly seized on the occasion which presented itself1 and1 instantly changing his tone1 called on his servant to assist him in securing a criminal against the state4 ,i at first resisted1 but ,grimseld perceiving this1 applied to his bell with great vehemence1 and three other servants made their appearance1 whose employment was in the field1 but who had now accidentally come into the house for refreshment4 ,i had arms2 but ,i found it impracticable to effect my escape2 and ,i soon felt that1 by yielding to the impulse of indignation1 and punishing ,grimseld on the spot for his perfidy1 ,i might ruin but could not forward the affair in which ,i was engaged4 ,i was conducted to prison2 and the thoughts produced in me by this sudden reverse were extremely melancholy and discouraging4 ,grimseld was a man of opulence and power2 ,i was without friends1 or the means of procuring friends4 ,the law expressly condemned my return2 and what had ,i not to fear from law1 when abetted and inforced by the hand of power8 ,i might be imprisoned for ten years2 ,i might be imprisoned for life4 ,i began earnestly to wish that ,i had remained with my family1 and given up at least all present hopes of redress4 ,it would be a dreadful accumulation of all my calamities1 if now at last ,i and my children were destined to suffer1 perhaps to perish1 in a state of separation2 and the last consolations of the wretched1 those of suffering1 sympathising1 and condoling with each other1 were denied us4 ,full of these tragical forebodings1 ,i threw myself at first on the floor of my cell in a state little short of the most absolute despair4 ,i exclaimed upon my adverse fortune1 which was never weary of persecuting me4 ,i apostrophised1 with tender and distracted accents1 my wife and children1 from whom ,i now seemed to be cut off by an everlasting divorce4 ,i called upon death to put an end to these tumults and emotions of the soul1 which were no longer to be borne4 ,in a short time however ,i recovered myself1 procured the implements of writing1 and drew up1 in the strong and impressive language of truth1 a memorial to the council of the state4 ,i was next to consider how this was to reach its destination2 for there was some danger that it might be intercepted by the vigilance and malignity of my adversary4 ,i desired to speak with the keeper of the prison4 ,he had some recollection of me1 and a still more distinct one of my family4 ,he concurred with the general sentiment1 in a strong aversion to the character of ,grimseld4 ,as ,i pressed upon him the hardship of my case1 and the fatal consequences with which it might be attended1 ,i could perceive that he fully entered into the feeling with which ,i wished him to be impressed4 ,he blamed my rashness in returning to ,switzerland in defiance of the positive prohibition that had been issued2 but promised at all events that my paper should be delivered to the president to-morrow morning4 ,i remained three days without an answer1 and these days were to me an eternity4 ,i anticipated every kind of misfortune2 ,i believed that law and malice had succeeded to the subversion of equity4 ,at length however ,i was delivered from my apprehensions and perplexity1 and summoned to appear before the council4 ,it was well for me perhaps that ,i had to do with a government so simple and moderate as that of ,switzerland4 ,i obtained redress4 ,it was referred to an arbitration of neighbours to set a fair price on my property1 and then decreed1 that if monsieur ,grimseld refused the purchase1 the sum should be paid me out of the coffers of the state4 ,he was also condemned in a certain fine for the fraud he had attempted to commit4 ,the affair1 thus put in train1 was soon completed2 and ,i returned with joy1 having effected the object of my journey1 to my anxious and expecting family4 ,soon after1 we removed to the spot we had chosen on the eastern bank of the lake1 where we remained for the six following years in a state of peace and tranquillity4 ,,chapter ,,xi4 ,it was in the evening of a summer's day in the latter end of the year fifteen hundred and forty-four1 that a stranger arrived at my habitation4 ,he was feeble1 emaciated1 and pale1 his forehead full of wrinkles1 and his hair and beard as white as snow4 ,care was written in his face2 it was easy to perceive that he had suffered much from distress of mind2 yet his eye was still quick and lively1 with a strong expression of suspiciousness and anxiety4 ,his garb1 which externally consisted of nothing more than a robe of russet brown1 with a girdle of the same1 was coarse1 threadbare1 and ragged4 ,he supported his tottering steps with a staff2 and1 having lost his foreteeth1 his speech was indistinct and difficult to be comprehended4 ,his wretched appearance excited my compassion1 at the same time that ,i could easily discern1 beneath all its disadvantages1 that he was no common beggar or rustic4 ,ruined and squalid as he appeared1 ,i thought ,i could perceive traces in his countenance of what had formerly been daring enterprise1 profound meditation1 and generous humanity4 ,i saw that he was much fatigued1 and ,i invited him to rest himself upon the bench before the door4 ,i set before him bread and wine1 and he partook of both4 ,i asked him his name and his country4 ,he told me that he was a ,venetian1 and that his name1 as nearly as ,i could collect1 was signor ,francesco ,zampieri4 ,he seemed however averse to speaking1 and he requested me to suffer him to pass the night in my habitation4 ,there was nothing singular in the request1 a hospitality of this sort being the practice of the neighbourhood2 and humanity would have prompted my compliance1 if ,i had not been still more strongly urged by an undefinable curiosity that began to spring up in my bosom4 ,i prepared for him a camp-bed in a summer-house at the end of my garden4 ,as soon as it was ready1 he desired to be left alone1 that he might seek in rest some relief from the fatigue he had undergone4 ,he retired early2 and therefore1 soon after daybreak the next morning1 ,i waited on him to enquire how he had rested4 ,he led me out into the fields2 the morning was genial and exhilarating4 ,we proceeded1 till we came to a retired spot which had frequently been the scene of my solitary meditations1 and there seated ourselves upon a bank4 ,we had been mutually silent during the walk4 ,as soon as we were seated1 the stranger began3 8,you are1 ,i understand1 a ,frenchman1 and your name the count de ,st4 ,leon80 ,i bowed assent4 8,st4 ,leon10 said he1 8there is something in your countenance and manner that prepossesses me in your favour4 ,the only thing ,i have left to do in the world is to die2 and what ,i seek at present1 is a friend who will take care that ,i shall be suffered to die in peace4 ,shall ,i trust you8 ,will you be that friend to me80 ,i was astonished at this way of commencing his confidence in me2 but ,i did not hesitate to promise that he should not find me deficient in any thing that became a man of humanity and honour4 8,you do not1 ,i think1 live alone8 ,you have a wife and children40 8,i have40 8,yet none of them were at home when ,i arrived last night4 ,you brought yourself to the summer-house every thing that was necessary for my accommodation40 8,i did so4 ,but ,i have a wife to whom ,i have been married seventeen years1 and with whom ,i have no reserves4 ,i told her of your arrival2 ,i spoke of your appearance2 ,i mentioned your name40 8,it is no matter4 ,she has not seen me4 ,my name is not ,zampieri2 ,i am no ,venetian40 8,who are you then80 8,that you shall never know4 ,it makes no part of the confidence ,i design to repose in you4 ,my name shall be buried with me in the grave2 nor shall any one who has hitherto known me1 know how1 at what time1 or on what spot of earth1 ,i shall terminate my existence4 ,the cloud of oblivion shall shelter me from all human curiosity4 ,what ,i require of you is that you pledge your honour1 and the faith of a man1 that you will never reveal to your wife1 your children1 or any human being1 what you may hereafter know of me1 and that no particular that relates to my history shall be disclosed1 till at least one hundred years after my decease40 8,upon these conditions ,i am sorry that ,i must decline your confidence4 ,my wife is a part of myself2 for the last six years at least ,i have had no thought in which she has not participated2 and these have been the most tranquil and happy years of my life4 ,my heart was formed by nature for social ties2 habit has confirmed their propensity2 and ,i will not now consent to any thing that shall infringe on the happiness of my soul40 ,while ,i spoke1 ,i could perceive that my companion grew disturbed and angry4 ,at length1 turning towards me a look of ineffable contempt1 he replied-- 8,feeble and effeminate mortal6 ,you are neither a knight nor a ,frenchman6 ,or rather1 having been both1 you have forgotten in inglorious obscurity every thing worthy of either6 ,was ever gallant action achieved by him who was incapable of separating himself from a woman8 ,was ever a great discovery prosecuted1 or an important benefit conferred upon the human race1 by him who was incapable of standing1 and thinking1 and feeling1 alone8 ,under the usurping and dishonoured name of virtue1 you have sunk into a slavery baser than that of the enchantress ,alcina4 ,in vain might honour1 worth1 and immortal renown proffer their favours to him who has made himself the basest of all sublunary things--the puppet of a woman1 the plaything of her pleasure1 wasting an inglorious life in the gratification of her wishes and the performance of her commands60 ,i felt that ,i was not wholly unmoved at this expostulation4 ,the stranger touched upon the first and foremost passions of my soul2 passions the operation of which had long been suspended1 but which were by no means extinguished in my bosom4 ,he proceeded3-- 8,but it is well6 ,years have passed over my head in vain1 and ,i have not learnt to distinguish a man of honour from a slave4 ,this is only one additional sorrow to those in which my life has been spent4 ,i have wandered through every region of the earth1 and have found only disappointment4 ,i have entered the courts of princes2 ,i have accompanied the march of armies2 ,i have pined in the putridity of dungeons4 ,i have tasted every vicissitude of splendour and meanness2 five times have ,i been led to the scaffold1 and with difficulty escaped a public execution4 ,hated by mankind1 hunted from the face of the earth1 pursued by every atrocious calumny1 without a country1 without a roof1 without a friend2 the addition that can be made to such misfortunes scarcely deserves a thought40 ,while he spoke1 curiosity1 resistless curiosity1 presented itself as a new motive1 in aid of the sense of shame which the stranger had just before kindled in my bosom4 ,his manner was inconceivably impressive2 his voice1 though inarticulate from age1 had an irresistible melody and volume of sound1 which awed1 while it won1 the heart4 ,his front appeared open1 large1 and commanding2 and1 though he complained1 his complaints seemed to be those of conscious dignity and innocence4 ,he went on3-- 8,farewell1 ,st4 ,leon6 ,i go1 and you shall see me and hear of me no more4 ,you will repent1 when it is too late1 the folly of this day's determination4 ,i appear mean and insignificant in your eyes4 ,you think my secrets beneath your curiosity1 and my benefits not worth your acceptance4 ,know that my benefits are such as kings would barter their thrones to purchase1 and that my wealth exceeds the wealth of empires4 ,you are degraded from the rank you once held among mankind2 your children are destined to live in the inglorious condition of peasants4 ,this day you might have redeemed all your misfortunes1 and raised yourself to a station more illustrious than that to which you were born4 ,farewell6 ,destiny has marked out you and yours for obscurity and oblivion1 and you do well to reject magnificence and distinction when they proffer themselves for your acceptance40 8,stop10 cried ,i1 8mysterious stranger6 ,grant me a moment's leisure to reflect and determine40 ,he had risen to depart1 with a gesture of resolution and contempt4 ,at my exclamation he paused1 and again turned himself towards me4 ,my soul was in tumults4 8,answer me1 most ambiguous and impenetrable of mortals6 ,what is thy story8 and what the secrets1 the disclosure of which is pregnant with consequences so extraordinary80 8,do you recollect the conditions upon which only the disclosure can be made80 8,what can ,i say8 ,shall ,i determine to part with that which for years has constituted the only consolation of my life8 ,shall ,i suppress the curiosity which now torments me1 and reject the boon you pretend to have the power to confer80 8,i grant you the interval for reflection you demand4 ,i refuse to place further confidence in you1 till you have maturely examined yourself1 and roused all the energies of your spirit to encounter the task you undertake40 8,one word more4 ,you know not1 indeed you know not1 what a woman you exclude from your confidence4 ,she is more worthy of it than ,i am4 ,referring to my own experience and knowledge of the world1 ,i can safely pronounce her the first of her sex1 perhaps the first of human beings4 ,indulge me in this2 include her in your confidence2 and ,i am content40 8,be silent6 ,i have made my determination2 do you make yours6 ,know ,i would not if ,i could1 and cannot if ,i would1 repose the secrets that press upon me in more than a single bosom4 ,it was upon this condition ,i received the communication2 upon this condition only can ,i impart it4 ,i am resolved2 to die is the election of my soul--a consummation for which ,i impatiently wait4 ,having determined therefore to withdraw myself from the powers committed to me1 ,i am at liberty to impart them2 upon the same condition1 and no other1 you may one day1 if you desire it1 seek the relief of confidence40 ,having thus spoken1 the stranger rose from his seat4 ,it was yet early morning1 nor was it likely we should meet any one in our walk4 ,he however employed the precaution of causing me to explore the path1 and to see that we should return uninterrupted4 ,we came back to the summer-house4 ,the window-shutters were still closed2 the stranger determined they should remain so4 ,when ,i had come to him as soon as ,i rose1 ,i had found the door secured2 nor had he admitted me1 till he recognised my voice1 and had ascertained that ,i was alone4 ,these precautions scarcely excited my attention at the time2 but1 after the conversation that had just passed1 they returned distinctly to my memory4 ,the remainder of the day which had been opened by this extraordinary scene was passed by me in great anxiety4 ,i ruminated with unceasing wonder and perturbation upon the words of the stranger4 ,shall ,i shut upon myself the gate of knowledge and information8 ,is it not the part of a feeble and effeminate mind to refuse instruction1 because he is not at liberty to communicate that instruction to another--to a wife8 ,the stranger professes to be able to raise me to the utmost height of wealth and distinction4 ,shall ,i refuse the gift1 which in a former instance ,i forfeited1 but for which1 though contemplated as at an impracticable distance1 my whole soul longs8 ,if there is any thing dishonourable connected with the participation of this wealth1 ,i shall still be at liberty to refuse it4 ,there can be no crime in hearing what this man has to communicate4 ,i shall still1 and always1 be master of myself2 nor can ,i have any thing personally to fear from a man so feeble1 so decrepit1 so emaciated4 ,yet what can be the gifts worthy of acceptance of a man who1 while he possesses them1 is tired of life1 and desires to die8 or what the wealth of him who bears about him every external symptom of poverty and desolation8 ,the conversation ,i had just held revived in my mind the true feeling of my present situation4 ,the wounds of my soul had been lulled into temporary insensibility2 but they were in a state in which the slightest accident was capable of making them bleed afresh1 and with all their former violence4 ,i had rather steeled my mind to endure what seemed unavoidable1 than reconciled myself to my fate4 ,the youthful passions of my soul1 which my early years had written there in characters so deep1 were by no means effaced4 ,i could not contemplate the splendour of rank with an impartial eye4 ,i could not think of the alternative of distinction or obscurity for my children with indifference4 ,but1 most of all1 the moment ,i had experienced for them of hunger1 and impending destruction by famine1 had produced an indelible impression4 ,it had destroyed all romance1 ,i had almost said all dignity1 in my mind for ever4 ,it had snapped1 as by the touch of a red-hot iron1 all the finer and more etherialised sinews of my frame4 ,it had planted the sordid love of gold in my heart1 there1 by its baneful vegetation1 to poison every nobler and more salubrious feeling4 ,when ,i returned to the house1 ,marguerite enquired of me respecting the stranger1 but my answers were short and embarrassed4 ,she seemed to wonder that he did not come into the house1 and partake of some refreshment in the midst of my family4 ,she asked1 whether he were indisposed8 and whether he did not stand in need of some assistance that she might afford him8 ,perceiving however that ,i was desirous of saying as little as possible respecting him1 she presently became silent4 ,i could see that she was hurt at my incommunicativeness1 yet ,i could not prevail upon myself to enter into an explanation of the causes of my taciturnity4 ,ours was a family of love2 and ,i could observe that the children sympathised with their mother1 and secretly were surprised at and lamented my reserve4 ,there would have been little in this1 in perhaps any other family than ours4 ,but the last six years had been spent by us in such primeval simplicity1 that scarcely one of us had a thought but what was known to the rest4 ,marguerite cherished my frankness and unreserve with peculiar zeal2 she remembered with bitterness of soul the periods in which ,i fostered conceptions only proper to myself--periods of dreadful calamity1 or of rooted melancholy and sadness4 ,she could not help regarding the silence into which for the present occasion ,i relapsed1 as a portent of evil augury4 ,charles1 who was now sixteen years of age1 recollected the period of our ruined fortunes when he had been alone with me at ,paris1 and partook of his mother's feelings4 ,a trifling circumstance1 at this time occasioned by the little ,marguerite1 now eight years of age1 rendered the restraint under which ,i laboured more memorable and striking4 ,she had left a little book of fairy tales1 in which she had been reading the day before1 in the summer-house4 ,at first she did not recollect what was become of it1 and employed herself in searching for it with great assiduity4 ,of a sudden however she remembered where she had read in it last2 and1 exclaiming with exultation1 8,it is in the summer-house60 sprang forward to fetch it4 ,i detained her1 and told her there was a sick gentleman there that she would disturb6 8,then1 dear ,julia60 rejoined she1 8be so good as to get it for me2 you are so quiet and careful1 you never disturb any body40 8,my love10 answered ,i1 8nobody must get it for you4 ,the gentleman chooses to be alone1 and will not let any body come to him4 ,you shall have it after dinner40 8,ah1 but1 papa1 ,i want it now4 ,i put it away1 just where the naughty giant had shut up the gentleman in the dungeon1 who came to take away the lady4 ,i was obliged to put it away then1 because mamma called me to go to bed2 but ,i want so to know what will become of them1 you cannot think40 8,well1 dear ,marguerite1 ,i am sorry you must wait2 but you must learn to have patience40 8,do you know1 papa1 ,i walked in the garden before breakfast3 and so1 not thinking of any thing1 ,i came to the summer-house2 and ,i tried to open the door1 but ,i could not4 ,i found it was locked4 ,so ,i thought ,julia was there2 and ,i knocked1 and called ,julia1 but nobody answered4 ,so then ,i knew ,julia was not there1 for ,i was sure she would have opened the door4 ,so ,i climbed upon the stump of the pear-tree1 and tried to look in at the window2 but the shutters were shut1 and ,i could not get to see over the top of them4 ,and ,i walked all round the summer-house1 and all the shutters were shut4 ,papa1 ,i wish you would not let a man get into the summer-house1 who shuts all the shutters1 and locks the door4 ,you always used to let me go into every room ,i liked2 and1 do you know1 ,i think none but bad people lock and bolt themselves up so4 ,it puts mind of the giants with their drawbridges and their pitfalls2 ,i shall be quite afraid of this frightful old man40 ,this prattle of the child was nothing2 yet it increased the embarrassment of my situation1 and made the peculiarity of the case more conspicuous4 ,finding her pertinacious in insisting upon a topic that was disagreeable to me1 her mother called her from me1 and put her upon some occupation that served to divert her attention4 ,i felt like a person that was guilty of some crime2 and this consideration and kindness of my wife1 when ,i seemed to myself to deserve her reproach1 had not the power to calm my uneasiness4 ,these little occurrences appeared like the beginning of a separation of interests1 and estrangement of hearts4 ,i tasked myself severely4 ,i summoned the whole force of my mind1 that ,i might strictly consider what it was in which ,i was about to engage4 ,if this slight and casual hint of a secret is felt by both ,marguerite and myself with so much uneasiness and embarrassment1 what will be our situation1 if ,i go on to accept the stranger's confidence1 and become the depository of an arcanum so important as he represents his to be8 ,he declares himself able to bestow upon me the highest opulence2 what will be the feelings of my wife and children when they see my condition suddenly changed from its present humble appearance to splendour and wealth1 without being able to assign the source of this extraordinary accession8 ,it is difficult to conceive a family picture more enviable that than to which ,i was now continually present1 and of which ,i formed a part4 ,we had been happy on the banks of the ,garonne1 and we had pictured to ourselves a plan of happiness immediately on our arrival in the city of ,constance4 ,but these were little and imperfect1 compared with what ,i now enjoyed4 ,in the first situation my children were infants1 and in the second the eldest was but ten years of age4 ,the mother was now thirty-five2 and she had lost1 in my eyes at least1 none of her personal attractions4 ,her intellectual accomplishments were much greater than ever4 ,her understanding was matured1 her judgment decided1 her experience more comprehensive4 ,as she had a greater compass of materials to work upon1 her fancy was more playful1 her conversation richer1 and her reflections more amusing and profound4 ,the matron character she had acquired1 had had no other effect on her feelings1 than to render them more deep1 more true and magnetical4 ,her disposition was more entirely affectionate than it had been even in the first year of our cohabitation4 ,her attachment to her children was exemplary1 and her vigilance uninterrupted2 and1 for myself1 she was accustomed1 in all that related to our mutual love1 to enter into my sentiments and inclinations with so just a tone of equality and kindness1 that we seemed to be two bodies animated by a single soul4 ,if the mother were improved1 the children were still more improved4 ,in their early years we are attached to our offspring1 merely because they are ours1 and in a way that has led superficial speculators to consider the attachment1 less as the necessary operation of a sensible and conscious mind1 than as a wise provision of nature for the perpetuation of the species4 ,but as they grow up1 the case is different4 ,our partiality is then confirmed or diminished by qualities visible to an impartial bystander as really as to ourselves4 ,they then cease to be merely the objects of our solicitude1 and become our companions1 the partners of our sentiments1 and the counsellors of our undertakings4 ,such at least was my case at the present period4 ,charles1 who was now sixteen1 was manly beyond his years2 while the native fire of his disposition was tempered by adversity1 by an humble situation1 and by the ardour of filial and fraternal affection4 ,julia1 who was two years younger1 became daily more interesting by the mildness of her disposition and the tenderness of her sensibility4 ,louisa was only twelve2 but1 as she was extremely notable1 and had an uncommonly quick and accurate spirit of imitation1 she rendered herself exceedingly useful to her mother4 ,marguerite1 the plaything and amusement of the family1 had1 as ,i have said1 just completed the eighth year of her age4 ,one exquisite source of gratification1 when it is not a source of uneasiness1 to speak from my own experience1 which a parent finds in the society of his children1 is their individuality4 ,they are not puppets1 moved with wires1 and to be played on at will4 ,almost from the hour of their birth they have a will of their own1 to be consulted and negotiated with4 ,we may say to them1 as ,adam to the general mother of mankind1 8,but now1 thou wert flesh of my flesh1 and bone of my bone2 and1 even now1 thou standest before me vested in the prerogatives of sentiment and reason2 a living being1 to be regarded with attention and deference2 to be courted1 not compelled2 susceptible of the various catalogue of human passions2 capable of resentment and gratitude1 of indignation and love1 of perverseness and submission4 ,it is because thou art thus formed that ,i love thee4 ,i cannot be interested about objects inanimate or brute4 ,i require a somewhat that shall exercise my judgment1 and awaken my moral feelings4 ,it is necessary to me to approve myself1 and be approved by another4 ,i rejoice to stand before you1 at once the defendant and the judge4 ,i rejoice in the restraint to which your independent character subjects me1 and it will be my pride to cultivate that independence in your mind4 ,i would negotiate for your affections and confidence1 and not be loved by you1 but in proportion as ,i shall have done something to deserve it4 ,i could not congratulate myself upon your correspondence to my wishes1 if it had not been in your power to withhold it40 ,while ,i indulge this vein of reflection1 ,i seem again to see my family1 as they surrounded me in the year fifteen hundred and forty-four2 ,marguerite the partner of my life1 ,charles the brother of my cares1 the blooming ,julia1 the sage ,louisa1 and the playful cadette of the family4 ,how richly furnished1 how cheerful1 how heart-reviving1 appeared to me the apartment in which they were assembled6 ,i dwell upon the image with fond affection and lingering delight4 ,where are they now8 ,how has all this happiness been maliciously undermined1 and irrevocably destroyed6 ,to look back on it1 it seems like the idle fabric of a dream4 ,i awake1 and find myself alone6 ,were there really such persons8 ,where are they dispersed8 ,whither are they gone8 ,oh1 miserable solitude and desertion1 to which ,i have so long been condemned6 ,i see nothing around me but speechless walls1 or human faces that say as little to my heart as the walls themselves6 ,how palsied is my soul6 ,how withered my affections6--,but ,i will not anticipate4 ,,chapter ,,xii4 ,i carried food to the stranger as occasion required in the course of the day4 ,he seemed indisposed to speak1 and we exchanged scarcely more than two or three words4 ,the next morning was the implied time to which the question of his confidence was deferred1 and ,i went to him with the full resolution of refusing it4 ,whether it were that he discerned this resolution in my countenance1 or that1 in the interval that elapsed1 he had formed a meaner opinion of my character1 and thought me unfit for the purposes he intended ,i should answer1 certain it is that he anticipated me4 ,at the same time he magnified the importance of the gifts he had to communicate4 ,he expressed himself astonished at the precipitateness of his yesterday's conduct4 ,it was not till after much trial and long probation that he could choose himself a confidant4 ,i was not at present fit for the character1 nor perhaps ever should be4 ,the talent he possessed was one upon which the fate of nations and of the human species might be made to depend4 ,god had given it for the best and highest purposes2 and the vessel in which it was deposited must be purified from the alloy of human frailty4 ,it might be abused and applied to the most atrocious designs4 ,it might blind the understanding of the wisest1 and corrupt the integrity of the noblest4 ,it might overturn kingdoms1 and change the whole order of human society into anarchy and barbarism4 ,it might render its possessor the universal plague or the universal tyrant of mankind4 8,go1 ,st4 ,leon60 added the stranger1 8you are not qualified for so important a trust4 ,you are not yet purged of imbecility and weakness4 ,though you have passed through much1 and had considerable experience1 you are yet a child4 ,i had heard your history1 and expected to find you a different man4 ,go2 and learn to know yourself for what you are1 frivolous and insignificant1 worthy to have been born a peasant1 and not fitted to adorn the rolls of chivalry1 or the rank to which you were destined60 ,there was something so impressive in the rebuke and contempt of this venerable sage1 that made it impossible to contend with them4 ,never was there a man more singular1 and in whom were united greater apparent contradictions4 ,observe him in a quiet and unanimated moment1 you might almost take him for a common beggar2 a poor1 miserable wretch1 in whom life lingered1 and insensate stupidity reigned4 ,but when his soul was touched in any of those points on which it was most alive1 he rose at once1 and appeared a giant4 ,his voice was the voice of thunder2 and1 rolling in a rich and sublime swell1 it arrested and stilled1 while it withered all the nerves of the soul4 ,his eye-beam sat upon your countenance1 and seemed to look through you4 ,you wished to escape from its penetrating power1 but you had not the strength to move4 ,i began to feel as if it were some mysterious and superior being in human form1 and not a mortal1 with whom ,i was concerned4 ,what a strange and contradictory being is man6 ,i had gone to the summer-house this morning1 with a firm resolution to refuse the gifts and the communication of the stranger4 ,i felt as if lightened from a burthen which the whole preceding day had oppressed me1 while ,i formed this resolution3 ,i was cheerful1 and conscious of rectitude and strength of mind4 ,how cheaply we prize a gift which we imagine to be already in our power6 ,with what philosophical indifference do we turn it on every side1 depreciate its worth1 magnify its disadvantages1 and then pique ourselves upon the sobriety and justice of the estimate we have made6 ,thus it was with me in the present transaction2 but when ,i had received the check of the stranger1 and saw the proposed benefit removed to a vast and uncertain distance1 then it resumed all its charms2 then the contrast of wealth and poverty flashed full upon my soul4 ,before1 ,i had questioned the reality of the stranger's pretensions1 and considered whether he might not be an artful impostor2 but now all was clearness and certainty3 the advantages of wealth passed in full review before my roused imagination4 ,i saw horses1 palaces1 and their furniture2 ,i saw the splendour of exhibition and the trains of attendants1--objects which had been for ever dear to my puerile imagination2 ,i contemplated the honour1 love1 obedience1 troops of friends1 which are so apt to attend upon wealth1 when disbursed with a moderate degree of dignity and munificence4 ,when ,i compared this with my present poverty and desertion1 the meanness of our appearance1 our daily labours1 the danger that an untoward accident might sink us in the deepest distress1 and the hopelessness that my son or his posterity should ever rise to that honour and distinction to which they had once been destined1 the effect was too powerful4 ,another feeling came still further in aid of this3 it was the humiliating impression which the stranger had left upon my mind3 this seemed to be his great art1 if in reality his conduct is to be imputed to art4 ,there is no enemy to virtue so fatal as a sense of degradation4 ,self-applause is our principal support in every liberal and elevated act of virtue4 ,if this ally can be turned against us2 if we can be made to ascribe baseness1 effeminacy1 want of spirit and adventure1 to our virtuous resolutions2 we shall then indeed feel ourselves shaken4 ,this was precisely my situation3 the figure ,i made in my own eyes was mean2 ,i was impatient of my degradation2 ,i believed that ,i had shown myself uxorious and effeminate1 at a time that must have roused in me the spirit of a man1 if there had been a spark of manly spirit latent in my breast4 ,this impatience co-operated with the temptations of the stranger1 and made me anxious to possess what he offered to my acceptance4 ,i reasoned thus with myself3 what excites my scruples is simply the idea of having one single secret from my wife and family4 ,this scruple is created by the singular and unprecedented confidence in which we have been accustomed to live4 ,other men have their secrets3 nor do they find their domestic tranquillity broken by that circumstance4 ,the merchant does not call his wife into consultation upon his ventures2 the statesman does not unfold to her his policy and his projects2 the warrior does not take her advice upon the plan of his campaign2 the poet does not concert with her his flights and his episodes4 ,to other men the domestic scene is the relaxation of their cares2 when they enter it1 they dismiss the business of the day1 and call another cause4 ,i only have concentrated in it the whole of my existence4 ,by this means ,i have extinguished in myself the true energy of the human character4 ,a man can never be respectable in the eyes of the world or in his own1 except so far as he stands by himself and is truly independent4 ,he may have friends2 he may have domestic connections2 but he must not in these connections lose his individuality4 ,nothing truly great was ever achieved1 that was not executed or planned in solitary seclusion4 ,but if these reasons are sufficient to prove that the plan ,i have lately pursued is fundamentally wrong1 how much more will the importance of what is proposed by the stranger plead my excuse for deviating from it8 ,how bitterly have ,i lamented the degradation of my family6 ,shall ,i not seize this opportunity of re-installing them in their hereditary honours8 ,i deemed the ruin ,i had brought upon them irreparable2 shall ,i not embrace the occasion of atoning for my fault8 ,no man despises wealth1 who fully understands the advantages it confers4 ,does it not confer the means of cultivating our powers8 ,does it not open to us the career of honour1 which is shut against the unknown and obscure8 ,does it not conciliate the prepossessions of mankind1 and gain for us an indulgent and liberal construction8 ,does it not inspire us with graceful confidence1 and animate us to generous adventure8 ,the poor man is denied every advantage of education1 and wears out his life in labour and ignorance4 ,from offices of trust1 from opportunities of distinction1 he is ignominiously thrust aside2 and though he should sacrifice his life for the public cause1 he dies unhonoured and unknown4 ,if by any accident he comes into possession of those qualities which1 when discerned and acknowledged1 command the applause of mankind1 who will listen to him8 ,his appearance is mean2 and the fastidious auditor turns from him ere half his words are uttered4 ,he has no equipage and attendants1 no one to blow the trumpet before him and proclaim his rank2 how can he propose any thing that shall be worthy of attention8 ,aware of the prepossession of mankind in this respect1 he is alarmed and overwhelmed with confusion before he opens his lips4 ,filled with the conscience of his worth1 he anticipates the unmerited contempt that is prepared to oppress him1 and his very heart dies within him4 ,add to these circumstances1 the constitution of our nature1 the various pleasures of which it is adapted to partake1 and how many of these pleasures it is in the power of wealth to procure4 ,yes2 an object like this will sufficiently apologise for me to those for whose sake alone it was estimable in my sight4 ,it is1 indeed1 nothing but our poverty and the lowness of our station that have thus produced in us an habitual and unreserved communication of sentiments4 ,wealth would1 to a certain degree1 destroy our contact1 and take off the wonder that we had each our thoughts that were not put into the common stock4 ,these considerations decided my choice4 ,i was not indeed without some variations of mind1 and some compunction of heart for the resolution ,i had espoused4 ,the longer the stranger remained with me1 the more evident it was that there was something mysterious between us2 and the unreserved affection and union that had lately reigned under my roof suffered materially the effects of it4 ,the stranger had been led to my cottage1 in the first instance1 by the entire solitude in which it was placed4 ,there was nothing about which he was so solicitous as concealment2 the most atrocious criminal could not be more alarmed at the idea of being discovered4 ,i was unable to account for this2 but ,i was now too anxious for his stay and the promised reward1 not to be alert in gratifying all his wishes4 ,the most inviolable secrecy1 therefore1 was enjoined to the whole family2 and the younger branches of it1 particularly the little ,marguerite1 it was necessary to keep almost immured1 to prevent the danger of their reporting any thing out of the house1 that might be displeasing to the stranger and fatal to my expectations4 ,upon the whole my situation was eminently an uneasy one4 ,no experiment can be more precarious than that of a half-confidence2 and nothing but the sincere affection that was entertained for me could have rendered it successful in this instance4 ,my family felt that they were trusted by me only in points where it was impossible to avoid it1 and that ,i was not therefore properly entitled to their co-operation2 ,i was conscious of ingratitude in making them no return for their fidelity4 ,they kept my secret because they were solicitous to oblige me1 not from any conviction that they were conferring on me a benefit2 but1 on the contrary1 suspecting that the object as to which they were blindly assisting me would prove injurious to me as well as to themselves4 ,the health of the stranger visibly declined2 but this was a circumstance which he evidently regarded with complacency4 ,it was the only source of consolation of which he appeared susceptible2 his mind was torn with painful remembrances1 and agitated with terrible forebodings4 ,he abhorred solitude1 and yet found no consolation in society4 ,i could not be much with him2 my duty to my family1 who were principally supported by my labour1 was a call too imperious to be neglected4 ,even when ,i was with him1 he commonly testified no desire for conversation4 8,stay with me10 he was accustomed to say2 8give me as much of your time as you can2 but do not talk40 ,upon these occasions he would sit sometimes with his arms folded1 and with the most melancholy expression imaginable4 ,he would then knit his brows1 wring his hands with a sadness that might have excited pity in the hardest breast1 or1 with both hands closed1 the one clasping the other1 strike himself impatiently on the forehead4 ,at other times he would rise from his seat1 pace the room with hurried and unquiet steps1 and then again throw himself on his couch in the greatest agitation4 ,his features were often convulsed with agony4 ,often have ,i wiped away the sweat1 which would suddenly burst out in large drops on his forehead4 ,at those seasons he would continually mutter words to himself1 the sense of which it was impossible for me to collect4 ,i could perceive however that he often repeated the names of ,clara6--,henry6--a wife6--a friend6 a friend6----and then he would groan as if his heart were bursting4 ,sometimes1 in the midst of these recollections1 he would pass the back of his hand over his eyes2 and then1 looking at it1 shaking his head1 and biting his under lip1 exclaim with a piteous accent1 8,dry6--dry6--all the moisture of my frame is perished60 ,then1 as if recovering himself1 he would cry with a startled and terrified voice1 8,who is there8 ,st4 ,leon8 ,come to me6 ,let me feel that there is a human being near me6 ,i often call for you2 but ,i find myself alone1 deserted1 friendless6--friendless60 ,at times when his recollection was more complete1 he would say1 8,i know ,i tire you6 ,why should ,i tire you8 ,what gratification can it be to me to occasion emotions of disgust80 ,upon these occasions ,i endeavoured to soothe him1 and assured him ,i found pleasure in administering to his relief4 ,but he replied1 8,no1 no3 do not flatter me6 ,it is long since ,i have heard the voice of flattery6 ,i never loved it6 ,no2 ,i know ,i am precluded from ever exciting friendship or sympathy6 ,why am ,i not dead8 ,why do ,i live1 a burthen to myself1 useful to none8 ,my secret ,i could almost resolve should die with me2 but you have earned1 and you shall receive it40 ,the stranger was not always in this state of extreme anguish1 nor always indisposed to converse4 ,he had lucid intervals2 and could beguile the sorrow of his heart with social communication4 ,we sometimes talked of various sciences and branches of learning2 he appeared to be well informed in them all4 ,his observations were ingenious2 his language copious2 his illustrations fanciful and picturesque2 his manner bold and penetrating4 ,it was easy to observe in him the marks of a vigorous and masculine genius4 ,sometimes we discussed the events at that time going on in the world4 ,when we discoursed of events that had passed1 and persons that had died1 more than a century before1 the stranger often spoke of them in a manner as if he had been an eye-witness1 and directly acquainted with the objects of our discourse4 ,this ,i ascribed to the vividness of his conceptions1 and the animation of his language4 ,he however often checked himself in this peculiarity1 and always carefully avoided what could lead to any thing personal to himself4 ,i described to him the scenes of my youth1 and related my subsequent history2 he on his part was invincibly silent on every circumstance of his country1 his family1 and his adventures4 ,the longer ,i was acquainted with him1 the more my curiosity grew4 ,i was restless and impatient to learn something respecting a man who thus wrapped himself up in mystery and reserve4 ,often ,i threw out1 as it were1 a line by which to fathom his secret4 ,i talked of various countries1 ,i mentioned different kinds of calamities and even of crimes1 that by some incidental allusion ,i might discover at unawares his country1 his connections1 or the nature of his story4 ,when any thing that offered seemed to lead to the desired point1 ,i doubled my questions1 and endeavoured to construct them with the skill of a crafty litigant in a court of justice4 ,there were some subjects1 the very mention of which gave him uneasiness1 and upon which he immediately silenced me2 but these were not of themselves enough to afford me a clue1 or to furnish materials out of which for me to construct the history of the stranger4 ,he did not always perceive the drift of my questions and snares2 but1 when he did1 he generally became loud1 resentful1 and furious4 ,there was nothing else that so completely roused his indignation4 8,st4 ,leon60 said he to me one day1 8silence this inquisitive temper of yours2 check your rash and rude curiosity4 ,the only secret ,i have that can be of any importance to you1 you shall one day know4 ,but my country1 my family1 my adventures1 ,i have once told you1 and ,i tell you again1 you shall never know4 ,that knowledge can be of moment to no one1 and it shall never be disclosed4 ,when this heart ceases to beat1 that tale shall cease to have a place on the face of the earth4 ,why should my distresses and disgraces be published to any one8 ,is it not enough that they have lacerated my bosom1 that they have deprived me of friends1 that they have visited me with every adversity and every anguish1 that they have bowed me down to the earth1 that they have made thought1 and remembrance1 and life itself1 a burthen too heavy to be borne8 ,your present injudicious conduct1 if persisted in1 will have the effect of driving me from your roof1 of turning me once more upon the world1 upon that world that ,i hate1 upon that world whose bruises and ill treatment ,i feel in every fibre of my frame2 of exposing me again to fresh persecutions1 and causing me to perish miserably in a dungeon1 or die upon a scaffold4 ,spare me1 my generous host2 ,i know you are capable of generosity4 ,indeed ,i have endured enough to satiate the rage of malice itself4 ,you see what ,i suffer from the rage and tempest of my own thoughts1 even without the assistance of any external foe4 ,let me die in that degree of tranquillity ,i am able to attain4 ,i will not trouble you long40 ,at another time he addressed me in a different style4 8,you see1 ,st4 ,leon1 that the anguish of mind ,i endure is such as is ordinarily attributed to the recollection of great crimes2 and you have very probably conjectured that in my case it arises from the same source4 ,if you have1 ,i forgive you2 but ,i assure you that you are mistaken4 ,take from yourself that uneasiness1 if it has ever visited you2 you are not giving sanctuary to a villain6 ,i am innocent4 ,i can take no crime to my charge4 ,i have suffered more almost than man ever suffered2 but ,i have sinned little4 ,the cause of my uneasiness and prime source of all my misfortunes1 ,i dare not disclose to you4 ,be contented with the plan of my conduct4 ,i have digested my purpose3 ,i have determined where to speak and where to be silent40 ,the more ,i saw of this man1 the more strange and unaccountable appeared to me every thing that related to him4 ,why was he so poor1 possessing1 as he pretended1 inexhaustible wealth8 ,why was he unhappy1 with so great talents and genius1 and such various information8 ,why was he friendless1 being1 as he solemnly assured me1 so perfectly innocent1 and of consequence so respectable8 ,that he was an impostor1 every thing that ,i saw of him forbade me to believe4 ,his sorrows were too profound and excruciating1 for it to be possible for me to rank them among the actions that a man may play4 ,the greatness of his powers1 the dignity of his carriage1 the irresistible appearance of sincerity that sparkled in his eye and modulated his voice1 fully convinced me that he really was what he pretended to be4 ,i had heard of men who1 under the pretence of alchemy1 fastened themselves upon persons possessing sums of money2 and1 beguiling them with a delusive expectation of wealth1 reduced them to beggary and ruin4 ,one such person ,i had had a brief connection with during my residence in the ,bordelois1 though1 finding the incident by no means essential to the progress of my history1 ,i have passed it over1 together with many others1 in silence4 ,but nothing could be more unlike than that man and the person respecting whom ,i was now concerned4 ,in reality ,i possessed at that time1 if ,i may be allowed to say so1 a more than common insight into the characters of mankind1 so as to be little likely1 except under the tyranny of passion1 as in the instance of gaming1 to be made the prey of imposition4 ,i had studied my species as it exhibits itself in history1 and had mixed with it in various scenes and under dissimilar aspects4 ,i had accordingly1 in the transaction ,i have just alluded to1 soon detected the plans of the villain who expected to delude me4 ,but what could be the purpose of the stranger in this respect8 ,the pretended alchemist in ,france had obtained a certain sum of money of me1 and demanded more4 ,the stranger never made such a demand of me2 and perfectly knew that1 even if ,i had been inclined1 ,i was not able to supply him4 ,the alchemist had amused me with descriptions of various processes for the transmutation of metals1 had exhibited his crucibles and retorts1 and employed a sort of dramatic coup d'il for the purpose of awakening my curiosity and stimulating my passions4 ,the stranger had simply stated1 in the plainest and most direct manner1 that it was in his power to enrich me2 but had been silent as to the manner of producing the wealth he promised1 and had abstained from every effort to intoxicate my mind4 ,i felt therefore in this instance the effect1 that1 without being able to solve the difficulties and contrarieties that hung about him1 ,i yet believed his assertions2 nor was the inscrutability of his history and his motives capable of shaking my confidence4 ,one day1 during the period of his concealment1 certain officers of the bishop of ,constance1 accompanied by a foreigner in a ,neapolitan habit1 came to my house1 and1 as it proved1 with the express purpose of searching for the man who had put himself under my protection4 ,charles and myself were at work in the fields within sight of the lake4 ,their appearance first caught the attention of ,charles as they approached the shore1 and he enquired of me respecting the habit of the foreigner1 which was different from any he had been accustomed to see4 ,while we were yet speaking1 ,i observed in them an intention to land within sight of my cottage4 ,this was an uncommon circumstance2 our privacy was rarely invaded1 and we lived almost as much out of the world as we should have done in the remotest island of the ,atlantic ocean4 ,i reasoned in my own mind upon their appearance3 they had little resemblance to a party of pleasure2 the habit of the officers of justice ,i was perfectly acquainted with2 and the suspicion of the real nature of their errand immediately darted on my thoughts4 ,without saying a word to ,charles on the subject1 ,i hastened with all the speed ,i could exert to the apartment of the stranger1 and acquainted him with what ,i had seen4 ,he concurred with me in the ideas ,i had formed1 and appeared much shocked at the intelligence4 ,there was however no time to be lost2 and1 after having for a moment given vent to an anguish which was too powerful to be suppressed1 he withdrew as hastily as he could from the summer-house1 and betook himself to the woods4 ,he recommended to me to leave him1 telling me that he could conceal himself most effectually alone1 and observing that it would be necessary for me to meet the officers1 and endeavour as much as possible to remove their suspicions4 ,accordingly1 as soon as he was gone1 ,i threw open the windows of the summer-house1 removed the shutters1 and took from it as effectually as ,i could all appearance of having served as a place of concealment4 ,this was a precaution which the stranger had on a former occasion recommended to me4 ,it fortunately happened that ,julia and the little ,marguerite were gone out together in the fields on the eastern side of my cottage2 otherwise infallibly the child by her innocent prattle1 and perhaps ,julia by the apprehensive sensibility of her temper1 would have betrayed our secret1 or at least have suggested to the officers a feeling as if1 by a longer stay and a more diligent search1 they might possibly succeed in the object of their expedition4 ,as it was1 ,i received them at the door1 and learned from their own mouths the nature of their errand4 ,of ,charles1 whom they had crossed in the fields1 they had simply asked whether they were right as to the name of the person who was proprietor of the cottage before them4 ,they described to me with great accuracy the appearance of the stranger1 and insisted that he had been an inhabitant of my cottage4 ,they told me1 they were well informed that the summer-house in my garden had carefully been shut up for more than a month past1 and that some person had been concealed there4 ,i was interested in the distress of the stranger2 ,i was impressed with the dignity of his character2 ,i implicitly confided in his assertions of innocence1 and the unjust persecution that he suffered2 ,i was not insensible to the proposed reward1 the realising of which probably depended on his safety4 ,but1 most of all1 ,i considered my honour as pledged for the protection of the man who had thus cast himself upon my fidelity1 and believed that ,i should be everlastingly disgraced if he suffered any evil through treachery or neglect on my part4 ,i therefore answered confidently to the officers that they were misinformed1 and offered to conduct them over every part of my house and demesnes1 that they might satisfy themselves by inspection that there was no person concealed any where within my possessions4 ,i should have been better pleased1 openly to have defied their interrogatories1 and to have asked them whether1 allowing their suspicions to be just1 they were entitled to believe that ,i was such a villain as to betray a man who had thrown himself upon my generosity8 ,but though this conduct would have had a greater appearance of gallantry1 ,i believed it would have less of the reality1 as it would have strengthened their idea of my participation1 and increased the danger of the person ,i was bound to protect4 ,they accepted my offer of submitting to their search1 and made a strict examination of every place about my habitation in which the stranger could be concealed4 ,disappointed here1 they endeavoured by threats to discover whether ,i was able to give them any information4 ,to these ,i calmly answered1 that they had mistaken my character2 that1 though ,i was a poor man1 ,i had not forgotten that ,i was noble2 that they were already in possession of my spontaneous answer to their enquiries2 and that1 in no case1 and upon no supposition1 should tyranny and ill treatment extort from me what ,i was not in the first instance disposed to give4 ,my wife was present during this conversation1 and1 ,i could perceive1 felt an alarm for my danger that she would have been incapable of feeling for a danger to herself4 ,though ,i was extremely anxious that these men should be disappointed in the object of their expedition1 yet ,i did not neglect this opportunity of endeavouring to obtain satisfaction for my own curiosity4 ,i remarked at first that the ,neapolitan was an inquisitor1 and this circumstance had given additional poignancy to the uneasiness of ,marguerite4 ,but the accusations of which the inquisition at this time took cognisance were so numerous--the ecclesiastical power continually usurping upon the civil--that ,i was little assisted in the judgment ,i was desirous to frame by any inference to be deduced from this circumstance4 ,i questioned directly1 with an air as if it were merely in the way of conversation1 what was the crime of the man of whom they were in pursuit8 and what was the cause forcible enough to induce a ,neapolitan inquisitor to follow so decrepit and forlorn an individual as he described1 beyond the ,alps1 and almost to the banks of the ,danube8 ,to this he answered roughly1 that though he was not able to discover the object of his search1 he was by no means convinced that ,i was not his abettor and accomplice2 and that as to his crime1 that was not to be named2 the welfare of ,christendom demanding that the criminal1 and the memory of his offences1 should be buried together4 ,at the same time he warned me to consider well what ,i did1 before ,i exposed myself to be overwhelmed by the vengeance of the court of which he was a member4 ,to this ,i answered haughtily1 that ,i had already condescended to repel his suspicion1 and that no other man than an inquisitor would have had the stupidity or the audaciousness to question my veracity4 ,i added1 that ,i was perfectly acquainted with the nature of his court1 which was an object of abhorrence to the whole ,christian world2 but that he was mistaken if he supposed that the detestable nature of its proceedings would enable him to practise every sort of outrage with impunity4 ,the officers withdrew into the little inclosure in front of my cottage1 and ,i overheard them consulting whether1 having failed in their principal object1 they should carry me a prisoner along with them4 ,the firmness of my manner however had awed them1 and the fearlessness ,i expressed seemed to them to arise from a consciousness of innocence4 ,they at length departed as they came4 ,i watched them from my cottage as they descended to the shore1 and it was with no little pleasure that ,i perceived them re-embark1 and stand off for the opposite side of the lake4 ,this spectacle for a time entirely engaged me1 and when ,i turned from the door ,i observed that my beloved ,marguerite had been in tears4 ,she endeavoured to hide this circumstance from my sight4 ,i took her affectionately by the hand1 and1 pressing her to my bosom1 entreated her not to make herself uneasy4 8,ah1 ,reginald60 said she1 8how can ,i avoid being uneasy1 when ,i see you exposed to this imminent danger8 ,i thought that1 in forfeiting our fortune and our rank1 and retiring to this obscure and sequestered situation1 we might at least promise ourselves the blessing of the poor--oblivion and security2 and that should have consoled me for all ,i have lost4 ,who is this man that is thus mysteriously hidden among us8 ,what is the guilt from the punishment of which he thus anxiously withdraws himself8 ,what can be the nature of your connection with such a man8 ,and what will be the issue of so perilous an adventure80 ,i hesitated4 ,i knew not what to answer to so earnest an anxiety4 ,i was melted at the distress and the affection of ,marguerite4 ,she saw my embarrassment1 and proceeded3-- 8,mistake me not1 my beloved60 said she4 8,i have no desire to pry into what you are willing to conceal4 ,forgive the perturbation which has poured itself out in these involuntary questions4 ,i repose an entire confidence in you4 ,i would sooner die than interfere with any object you have at heart4 ,go on according to the dictates of your own judgment1 undisturbed by me4 ,i will not doubt that you have sufficient reasons for what you communicate1 and what you suppress4 ,i am grieved indeed at the interruption of our obscure and unambitious tranquillity2 but ,i had resolved not to trouble you with my uneasiness and apprehensions4 ,the incident of this morning has extorted them from me2 but ,i will behave better in future40 ,this scene was extremely distressing to me4 ,my wife was oppressed with fears1 and ,i had nothing to answer her4 ,the consolations that rose up in my own mind ,i was prevented from communicating4 ,the more generously she confided in me1 the more ,i felt the ungracious and disagreeable nature of the concealment ,i practised4 ,i endeavoured however to encourage myself with the idea1 that the labour would not be long1 and the harvest would prove abundant4 ,i said in my own mind1 ,the worst is now over2 the business has been commenced2 the shock to my own family has actually occurred2 ,i must go on resolutely1 and shut my eyes to the temporarily displeasing circumstances that may be connected with the completing my object4 ,,chapter ,,xiii4 ,another source of uneasiness was added to the distraction my mind already endured4 ,the stranger did not appear4 ,it was in the morning that the officers of justice arrived2 they departed about noon2 and in two hours afterwards ,i entered the wood in search of my guest4 ,the wood was of some leagues in extent2 it was intersected by paths in various directions2 it was interspersed with caverns2 its growth was of all kinds1--in some places lofty trees that seemed to form a support for the clouds1 in others an underwood impenetrable alike to the feet and to the eye4 ,as ,i entered the wood1 ,i however conceived that the discovery of the stranger1 to me who was acquainted with its lurking-places1 would be an affair of little toil2 his feebleness and decrepitude would not suffer him to proceed to any great distance4 ,in this ,i was mistaken4 ,i looked carefully on all sides2 ,i examined every recess and corner with which ,i was acquainted3 but ,i found no trace of the stranger4 ,the scene was so complicated and involved1 that even this was a labour of considerable duration4 ,at length ,i became satisfied that he was not in the nearer division of the wood4 ,i paused4 ,i felt at once that it was little less than a ,herculean task to hunt through the whole of its dimensions4 ,it would probably be of little use to call1 and endeavour by that means to discover his retreat4 ,i knew of no name by which he was to be recognised2 and1 if my own voice was but a slight resource to penetrate this immense labyrinth of foliage1 the voice of the stranger1 weakened by age1 and now probably still more enfeebled by hunger and fatigue1 could not be expected to make itself heard4 ,beside which1 as ,i knew not what the source of information had been to the officers who had just left me1 ,i was unwilling to expose my guest to the danger that might arise from this mode of seeking him4 ,i could not even be sure1 though ,i had seen their boat stand off from the shore1 that they might not afterwards land one or more of their party1 and be at this very moment within ear-shot of me4 ,i therefore proceeded in anxiety and silence4 ,my search was no more successful in the part of the wood with which ,i was little acquainted1 than in the part with which ,i was most familiar4 ,i had already been engaged four hours in the task1 and night began to come on4 ,it shut in with heavy clouds1 that on all sides appeared deeply loaded with rain4 ,i now began to consider my own situation2 and1 by comparing circumstances1 found that ,i was at a great distance from my own habitation4 ,there was no direct path by which for me to return4 ,i had proceeded to the right and the left1 backward and forward1 sometimes by more open paths1 and sometimes forcing my way through briars and brushwood1 as caprice1 or the hope of effecting the object of my search1 happened to guide me4 ,it was therefore no easy matter to guess how ,i was to return1 or even1 now that the lowering clouds had covered the horizon with one uniform tint1 in which direction lay the cottage or the lake4 ,while ,i stood contemplating what was to be done1 ,i heard the howling of the wolves at a distance2 and their howl had that particular melancholy and discomfiting sound which is well known to precede a coming storm4 ,there was no time to be lost1 and accordingly ,i set out4 ,i was less anxious to be at home on my own account1 than for the sake of quieting the alarms of my family1 to whom ,i had already occasioned too great a portion of uneasiness4 ,i had not proceeded far before the rain descended in torrents1 intermingled with peals of thunder and sheets of lightning4 ,the thunder1 interrupted1 as it were1 from time to time1 with the noise of the wild beasts that inhabited the wood1 deafened me1 while the excessive and instantaneous brilliancy of the lightning occasioned me an intolerable aching in the organ of sight4 ,it rained incessantly for two hours1 and ,i found myself drenched and fatigued with the wet4 ,during this time my progress was small2 and ,i was ever and anon intercepted by the underwood1 and could not without repeated experiments discover the means of proceeding4 ,at length the rain subsided1 and seemed to give place to a gloomy and motionless calm4 ,soon after1 ,i discovered a light at a distance1 and advanced towards it4 ,as ,i approached1 ,i perceived that it proceeded from a set of banditti1 to the amount of fourteen or fifteen persons1 sitting round a fire in the mouth of a cavern4 ,i was glad to turn my steps another way1 and was for some time afraid that the noise ,i made in occasionally forcing my way through the bushes would alarm them1 and cost me my life4 ,i however fortunately escaped their notice4 ,this was in a part of the wood remote from the path ,i ought to have taken1 and near the road to ,lindau4 ,the day began to dawn before ,i reached my own habitation4 ,the conjecture ,i had made1 when ,i was unawares upon the point of falling into the hands of the banditti1 that the road of ,lindau was on the other side of their retreat1 was of some service to me as an indication where to find the cottage and the lake4 ,this road skirted the wood on the side nearly opposite to that by which ,i entered it4 ,the difficulties however ,i had to encounter were inconceivably great1 in endeavouring to preserve my line of direction4 ,after having been compelled four or five times to deviate from the line1 it is seldom that a traveller will find himself right in his conjecture as to the direction he is pursuing1 unless he has some sensible object as a sort of pole-star by which to govern his route4 ,it happened in this instance that ,i was more fortunate than ,i was entitled to expect4 ,i laboured indeed till daybreak without getting out of the labyrinth that inclosed me4 ,but the sun no sooner began to lend an imperfect light1 than ,i recognised certain objects which upon some former occasions ,i had observed1 and perceived that my journey was nearly at an end4 ,i entered my cottage1 and found ,marguerite alone awake and expecting me4 ,she had been somewhat uneasy on account of my absence1 both from the extreme tempestuousness of the night1 and in consequence of the painful sensations the events of the preceding morning had introduced1--events with which it was almost unavoidable for her to imagine that my absence was in some way connected4 ,the period of my insanity in ,switzerland might indeed have accustomed her to the irregularity of my motions1 but a term of more than six years which had intervened1 had produced in her expectations and habits of a different sort4 ,i related to this admirable woman the adventures of the night and the fruitlessness of the search in which ,i had been engaged2 and this openness of communication1 unresembling the nature of the intercourse which had lately existed between us1 relieved in some degree my burthened heart1 and cheered the drooping spirits of ,marguerite4 ,she dropped some consolatory and sadly pleasing tears2 and her manner seemed to say1 though she would not suffer her tongue to give the idea words1 ,how sweet are cordiality and confidence6 ,oh6 do not let our situation1 which has deprived us of many other comforts1 ever again be robbed of this comfort1 which is alone worth all the rest6 ,though she necessarily felt the presence of the stranger as an evil1 the bane of our domestic peace1 yet it was impossible for her not to compassionate his fate1 and suffer some distress from his strange and abrupt disappearance4 ,after the conversation which had so eminently served as a relief to our minds1 ,marguerite left me to repose myself from the extraordinary fatigue ,i had undergone4 ,but my mind was too much disturbed to suffer me to sink into the arms of forgetfulness4 ,i felt something tragical in the sad destiny of my unfortunate guest4 ,it was but too probable that1 in his peculiarly weak state of body1 and with his declining health1 the being thus exposed for a day and a night to the effects of hunger1 of the inclemency of the air1 and the tempestuousness of the elements1 would put a close to his existence4 ,i was determined soon to recommence my search4 ,but how could ,i be sure that ,i should be more fortunate to-day1 than the day before8 ,if ,i found him1 it was most likely ,i should find him either dead or dying4 ,the degree of intercourse that had taken place between us had made him occupy a considerable space in my thoughts4 ,the prospects he had opened to me1 the conduct he had induced me to adopt1 the painful effects and dissatisfaction of mind which had been produced by that conduct as it respected my family1 all combined to give me an interest in his fate4 ,i had seen his talents2 ,i had felt his ascendancy2 ,i had experienced that sort of conflict1 which appearances of guilt on the one hand1 and asseverations of innocence on the other1 are calculated to produce in the thoughts and emotions of a bystander4 ,he was no common man2 the expectations and conjectures he excited were of no ordinary sort2 and ,i felt that an army might be destroyed1 and a spacious plain covered with the wounded and the dying1 without producing greater commotion in my soul4 ,in the anxious and disturbed state of mind in which ,i was1 the thoughts flow with extraordinary rapidity4 ,it will be found attended with a strange1 and1 previously to the experiment1 incredible mixture of reasoning and passion1 of philosophising and fury4 ,i was accordingly conscious at this moment of the truth of the stranger's assertion1 that in me he had a protector1 not a friend4 ,friendship is an object of a peculiar sort2 the smallest reserve is deadly to it4 ,i may indeed feel the emotions of a friend towards a man who in part conceals from me the thoughts of his heart2 but then ,i must be unconscious of this concealment4 ,the instant ,i perceive this limitation of confidence1 he drops into the class of ordinary men3 a divorce is effected between us3 our hearts1 which grew together1 suffer amputation2 the arteries are closed2 the blood is no longer mutually transfused and confounded4 ,i shall be conscious of all his qualities1 for ,i stand in the place of an impartial umpire4 ,i consider him as a machine capable of so much utility to myself1 and so much utility to other men4 ,but ,i do not regard him as the brother of my soul3 ,i do not feel that my life is bound up in his3 ,i do not feel as if1 were he to die1 the whole world would be at an end to me1 and that my happiness would be buried with him for ever in the darkness of the grave4 ,i am not conscious of those emotions which are the most exquisite and indescribable the human mind can experience2 and which1 being communicated by a sort of electrical stroke to him who is their object1 constitute the solace of all his cares1 the alleviator of all his calamities1 the only nectar and truest balm of human life4 ,for me1 he stands alone in the world1 having companions and associates1 the connections1 as it were1 of mercantile selfishness1 or casual jollity and good humour1 but no friend4 ,it was thus that ,i thought of the stranger4 ,he obtained from me the compassion due to a human being1 and the respect extorted by his qualities1 but nothing calculated radically to disturb the equilibrium of the mind4 ,i looked forward to his death with unruffled thoughts and an unmoistened eye4 ,there was one thing indeed that shook me more deeply2 the thought of losing the promised reward1 and of having exposed myself to the evil of an unquiet and dissatisfied mind in vain4 ,i rested but a few hours before ,i set out again upon the search1 to which the interposition of the darkness of the preceding night had put an abrupt close4 ,i had the precaution to take with me a slight provision of food and cordials1 believing that1 if ,i found the stranger1 he would at least be in the greatest need of something reviving and restorative4 ,charles earnestly intreated to assist me in the search1 but upon this ,i put a peremptory prohibition4 ,it would have been in direct contradiction to what the stranger had most solemnly required of me4 ,i had already spent several hours in anxiously tracing the wood in every direction2 and the period of noon was past1 when1 approaching an obscure and almost impenetrable thicket1 my ear was caught by a low and melancholy sound1 which at first ,i knew not to what ,i was to ascribe4 ,it however arrested my attention1 and caused me to assume an attitude of listening4 ,after the lapse of little more than a minute1 the same sound was repeated4 ,i now distinctly perceived that it was the groan of some creature in a very feeble and exhausted state1 and immediately suspected that it was the stranger4 ,i went almost round the thicket before ,i could discern an entrance1 and1 though ,i looked with the utmost care1 could perceive nothing that the thicket inclosed4 ,the groan was repeated a third time4 ,the long intervals between the groans gave a peculiar melancholy to the effect1 and each seemed so much lower than the groan before1 that nothing but the ear of anxious attention would have caught it2 at the same time that the tone conveyed an idea of stupified1 yet vital1 anguish4 ,at length ,i perceived the legs and something of the garb of a man4 ,it was the stranger6 ,he appeared to have crept into the thicket upon his hands and knees4 ,when ,i forced my way to him1 he seemed in the very act of expiring4 ,he was lying on his face1 and ,i raised him a little4 ,his eyes were fixed2 his mouth was open2 his lips and tongue were parched and dry4 ,i infused a few drops of a cordial into his mouth4 ,for a moment it appeared to produce no sensation1 but presently my patient uttered a deep and long-drawn sigh4 ,i repeated my application4 ,as a principal cause of the condition in which ,i found him was inanition1 the stimulant ,i administered produced a powerful effect4 ,he moved his hands1 shuddered1 turned his eyes languidly upon me1 and1 having appeared to recognise me1 shut them hastily again4 ,i moved him slowly and softly into a freer air1 and bathed his temples with one of the liquids ,i had about me4 ,by this time he looked up1 and then suddenly round him with a wild and hurried air4 ,he spoke not however2 he was speechless4 ,in about a quarter of an hour he relapsed into convulsions1 in which it seemed probable he would expire4 ,they lasted a considerable time1 and he then sunk into a state of insensibility4 ,i thought he was dead4 ,thus circumstanced1 it was some relief to my humanity to have found him yet alive1 and to have received his parting breath4 ,but in a moment his secret and his promises recurred to me with inexpressible anguish1 and ,i inwardly reproached him for having deferred his communication so long1 as now to preclude its ever being made4 ,i cannot describe the keenness1 the burning and intolerable bitterness1 of my sensation4 ,keen it may well be supposed to have been1 from its having so instantaneously and forcibly recurred at a time when other objects seemed to press upon my senses4 ,no one who has not felt what it is to fall in a moment from hope1 or1 as ,i should rather say1 from assured possession of what his soul most loved and desired1 into black and interminable despair1 can imagine what was then the state of my mind4 ,the body of my patient slided from my nerveless arms2 ,i lifted up the eyes of rage and phrensy1 as if to curse the ,author of my being2 and then fell helpless and immoveable by the side of the stranger4 ,i felt him move2 ,i heard him sigh4 ,i lifted up my head1 and perceived stronger marks of life and sense about him than had yet displayed themselves4 ,i threw my arms about him2 ,i pressed him to my heart4 ,the emphatical gesture ,i used seemed to have a sort of magnetical force to rouse his dying powers4 ,with a little assistance from me he sat upright4 ,my assiduity produced wonders3 it fortunately happened that this thicket was but a half a mile from my habitation1 and indeed was one of the spots which ,i had searched without success the day before4 ,about the hour of sunset1 partly by leading1 and partly by supporting him1 ,i restored my guest to his former apartment4 ,he remained speechless1 or nearly so4 ,he vented his sensations in sighs1 in inward and inarticulate sounds2 and even when he arrived at the power of making himself understood by words1 it was only by monosyllables and half sentences that he conveyed to me his meaning4 ,i now gave up my time almost entirely to an assiduous attendance on the stranger4 ,every day ,i expected to be his last2 every day was more or less interspersed with symptoms that seemed to menace his instant dissolution4 ,during all this time ,i remained in the anxious suspense of contending hope and fear4 ,was it probable that he would ever recover strength enough to confer on me the legacy he had announced8 ,the particulars of his secret ,i knew not2 but1 judging from what ,i had heard of the pretences and pursuits of alchemy1 it was natural to suppose that he had a process to communicate1 which would require on his part considerable accuracy of recollection1 as well as the power of delivering himself in a methodical and orderly discourse4 ,i was fortunate enough however to perceive1 after a tormenting and tedious crisis1 that he appeared to be in a progress of convalescence1 and that his strength both of body and mind were recruited daily4 ,after the lapse of a fortnight from the adventure of the wood1 he one evening addressed me in the following manner3-- 8,st4 ,leon1 ,i have been to blame4 ,i have put you to a sufficient trial2 ,i have received from you every assistance and kindness that my situation demanded2 ,i have imposed on you much trouble and anxiety2 ,i have excited your expectations by announcing to you in part what it was in my power to bestow2 and ,i have finally risked the defrauding your hopes and your humanity of their just reward4 ,do me the justice however to remember1 that ,i had no presentiment of the event which has so inauspiciously come between you and your hopes4 ,fool that ,i was1 ,i imagined ,i had suffered enough1 and that1 as ,i had obtained a longer respite from external persecution than ,i almost ever experienced1 ,i should be permitted to spend the short remainder of my days uninterrupted6 ,i now however look back upon this last assault with complacency4 ,it has cut off something from the last remnant of a life to the close of which ,i look forward with inexpressible longing2 at the same time that ,i am still in prospect of obtaining the final wish of my heart--the stealing out of the world unperceived1 and thus in some measure eluding the last malice of my enemies4 ,after my death ,i have but one injunction to leave with you--the injunction of ,hercules to ,philoctetes--that no inducement may move you to betray to mortal man the place in which you shall have deposited my ashes4 ,bury them in a spot which ,i will describe to you3 it is not far1 and is only recommended to me by its almost inaccessible situation3 and that once done1 speak of me and1 if possible1 think of me no more4 ,never on any account mention me or allude to me2 never describe me1 or relate the manner of our meeting1 or the adventure which has at length brought on the desired close of my existence4 8,believe me1 in the feeble and helpless condition in which ,i have spent the last fortnight1 your wishes and expectations have been uppermost in my mind1 and there is nothing ,i have felt with so much compunction as the danger of leaving them unsatisfied4 ,to you perhaps ,i at present appear to be rapidly recovering1 ,i feel the dart of death in my vitals2 ,i know ,i shall not live four days4 ,it is necessary therefore that ,i should finish without delay all that remains for me to finish4 ,i will devote this night to the arranging my thoughts and putting in order what ,i have to communicate1 that no mistake or omission may have part in a transaction so important4 ,come to me to-morrow morning2 ,i will be prepared for you40 ,as soon as ,i heard this discourse1 and provided the stranger with every thing he could want during the night1 ,i withdrew4 ,my heart was big with expectation2 my thoughts all night were wild and tumultuous4 ,when the hour of assignation arrived1 ,i hastened along the garden to the summer-house1 conscious that upon that hour depended all the colour of my future life4 ,since the stranger had been in his present dangerous condition1 the door was not bolted2 it was only locked3 the key was in my possession1 and remained night and day attached to my person4 ,i opened the door2 ,i panted and was breathless4 ,i immediately saw that the stranger had undergone some great alteration for the worse4 ,he had suffered a sort of paralytic affection4 ,he lifted up his face as ,i entered2 it was paler than ,i had ever seen it4 ,he shook his head mournfully1 and intimated by signs the disappointment which this morning must witness4 ,he was speechless4 8,fate6 fate60 exclaimed ,i in an agony of despair1 8am ,i to be for ever baffled8 ,is the prize so much longed for and so ardently expected at last to escape me80--,it is not to be imagined how much these successive1 endless disappointments increased my impatience1 and magnified in my eyes the donation ,i sought4 ,the whole of this and the following day the stranger remained speechless4 ,the third day1 in the morning1 he murmured many sounds1 but in a manner so excessively inarticulate1 that ,i was not able to understand one word in six that he said4 ,i recollected his prediction that he should die on the fourth day4 ,the fever of my soul was at its height4 ,mortal sinews and fibres could sustain no more4 ,if the stranger had died thus1 it is most probable that ,i should have thrown myself in anguish and rage upon his corpse1 and have expired in the same hour4 ,in the evening of the third day ,i visited him again4 ,he had thrown his robe around him1 and was sitting on the side of his couch4 ,the evening sun shot his last beams over the window-shutters4 ,there were about eight inches between the shutter and the top of the window2 and some branches of vines1 with their grapes already ripe1 broke the uniformity of the light4 ,the side of the couch faced the west1 and the beams played upon the old man's countenance4 ,i had never seen it so serene4 ,the light1 already softened by the decline of day1 gave it a peculiar animation3 and a smile that seemed to betoken renovation and the youth of angels sat upon it4 ,he beckoned me to approach4 ,i placed myself beside him on the couch2 he took my hand in his1 and leaned his face towards me4 8,i shall never witness the light of the setting sun again60 were the first words he uttered4 ,i immediately perceived that he spoke more collectedly1 and with better articulation than at any time since the paralytic stroke4 ,still however it was no easy matter to develop his words4 ,but ,i wound up every faculty of my frame to catch them2 and1 assisted as ,i was by the habit of listening to his speech for many weeks1 which during the whole of that time had never been distinct1 ,i was successful enough to make out his entire discourse4 ,it continued1 though with various interruptions1 for more than half an hour4 ,he explained with wonderful accuracy the whole of his secrets1 and the process with which they were connected4 ,my soul was roused to the utmost stretch of attention and astonishment4 ,his secrets1 as ,i have already announced in the commencement of this history1 consisted of two principal particulars2 the art of multiplying gold1 and the power of living for ever4 ,the detail of these secrets ,i omit2 into that ,i am forbidden to enter4 ,my design in writing this narrative1 ,i have said1 is not to teach the art of which ,i am in possession1 but to describe the adventures it produced to me4 ,the more ,i listened1 the more my astonishment grew4 ,i looked at the old man before me2 ,i observed the wretchedness of his appearance1 the meanness of his attire1 his apparent old age1 his extreme feebleness1 the characters of approaching death that were written on his countenance4 ,after what ,i had just heard1 ,i surveyed these things with a sensation of novelty1 as if ,i had never remarked them in him before4 ,i said to myself1 ,is this the man that possesses mines of wealth inexhaustible1 and the capacity of living for ever8 ,observing that he had finished his discourse1 ,i addressed to him these words1 by a sort of uncontrollable impulse1 and with all the vehemence of unsated and insuppressible curiosity4 8,tell me1 ,i adjure you by the living ,god1 what use have you made of these extraordinary gifts8 and with what events has that use been attended80 ,as ,i spoke thus1 the countenance of the old man underwent a surprising change4 ,its serenity vanished2 his eyes rolled with an expression of agony2 and he answered me thus3-- 8,be silent1 ,st4 ,leon6 ,how often must ,i tell you that no single incident of my story shall ever be repeated6 ,have ,i no claim upon your forbearance8 ,can you be barbarous and inhuman enough to disturb my last scene with these bitter recollections80--,i was silent4 ,this is all that is material that passed at our interview4 ,the stranger died the next day1 and was buried according to his instructions4 ,,chapter ,,xiv4 ,from the moment of my last interview with the stranger ,i was another creature4 ,my thoughts incessantly rolled upon his communications4 ,they filled me with astonishment and joy1 almost to bursting4 ,i was unable to contain myself2 ,i was unable to remain in any posture or any place4 ,i could scarcely command myself sufficiently to perform the last duties to his body in the manner he had directed4 ,i paced with eager step the sands of the lake2 ,i climbed the neighbouring hills1 and then descended with inconceivable rapidity to the vales below2 ,i traced with fierce impatience the endless mazes of the wood in which ,i so hardly recovered my bewildered guest4 ,the uninterruptedness and celerity of bodily motion seemed to communicate some ease to my swelling heart4 ,yet there was one thing ,i wanted4 ,i wanted some friendly bosom into which to pour out my feelings1 and thus by participation to render my transports balsamic and tolerable4 ,but this was for ever denied me4 ,no human ear must ever be astonished with the story of my endowments and my privileges4 ,i may whisper it to the woods and the waters1 but not in the face of man4 ,not only am ,i bound to suppress the knowledge of the important secret ,i possess1 but even the feelings1 the ruminations1 the visions1 that are for ever floating in my soul4 ,it is but a vain and frivolous distinction upon which ,i act1 when ,i commit to this paper my history1 and not the science which is its corner-stone4 ,the reason why the science may not be divulged is obvious4 ,exhaustless wealth1 if communicated to all men1 would be but an exhaustless heap of pebbles and dust2 and nature will not admit her everlasting laws to be so abrogated1 as they would be by rendering the whole race of sublunary man immortal4 ,but ,i am bound1 as far as possible1 not only to hide my secrets1 but to conceal that ,i have any to hide4 ,senseless paper6 be thou at least my confidant6 ,to thee ,i may impart what my soul spurns the task to suppress4 ,the human mind insatiably thirsts for a confidant and a friend4 ,it is no matter that these pages shall never he surveyed by other eyes than mine4 ,they afford at least the semblance of communication and the unburthening of the mind2 and ,i will press the illusion fondly and for ever to my heart4 ,to return to the explanation of my feelings immediately after receiving possession of my grand acquisition2 for1 without that explanation1 the spirit and meaning of my subsequent narrative will scarcely be sufficiently apprehended4 8,happy1 happy1 happy man60 exclaimed ,i1 in the midst of my wanderings and reveries4 8,wealth6 thy power ,is unbounded and inconceivable4 ,all men bow down to thee2 the most stubborn will is by thee rendered pliant as wax2 all obstacles are melted down and dissolved by the ardour of thy beams6 ,the man that possesses thee1 finds every path level before him1 and every creature burning to anticipate his wishes3 but if these are the advantages that wealth imparts to such as possess only those scanty portions which states and nations allow to the richest1 how enviable must his condition be1 whose wealth is literally exhaustless and infinite6 ,he possesses really the blessing1 which priestcraft and superstition have lyingly pronounced upon the charitable3 he may give away the revenues of princes1 and not be the poorer4 ,he possesses the attribute which we are accustomed to ascribe to the ,creator of the universe3 he may say to a man1 #8,be rich1' and he is rich4 ,he can bestow with equal facility the smallest gifts and the greatest4 ,palaces1 as if they were the native exhalations of the soil1 rise out of the earth at his bidding4 ,he holds the fate of nations and of the world in his hand4 ,he can remove forests1 and level mountains1 drain marshes1 extend canals1 turn the course of rivers1 and shut up the sea with doors4 ,he can assign to every individual in a nation the task he pleases1 can improve agriculture1 and establish manufactures1 can found schools1 and hospitals1 and infirmaries1 and universities4 ,he can study the genius of every man1 and enable every man to pursue the bent of his mind4 ,poets and philosophers will be fostered1 the sublimest flights of genius be produced1 and the most admirable discoveries effected1 under his auspicious patronage4 ,the whole world are his servants1 and he1 if his temper be noble and upright1 will be the servant of the whole world4 ,nay1 it cannot happen otherwise4 ,he has as few temptations to obliquity as omnipotence itself4 ,weakness and want are the parents of vice4 ,but he possesses every thing2 he cannot better his situation2 no man can come into rivalship or competition with him4 ,i thank ,god1 ,i have known the extremes of poverty1 and therefore am properly qualified to enjoy my present happiness4 ,i have felt a reverse of fortune1 driving me in one instance to insanity1 in another instance threatening to destroy me1 my wife1 and children together1 with the plague of hunger4 ,my heart has been racked with never-dying remorse2 because1 by my guilt and folly1 my children have been deprived of the distinction and rank to which they were born1 and plunged in remediless obscurity4 ,heaven has seen my sufferings1 and at length has graciously said1 #8,it is enough4' ,because ,i have endured more than man ever endured from the privation of fortune1 ,god in his justice has reserved for me this secret of the transmutation of metals4 ,i can never again fall into that wretchedness1 by which my understanding was subverted1 and my heart was broken40 ,from this part of the legacy of the stranger1 my mind reverted to the other4 ,i surveyed my limbs1 all the joints and articulations of my frame1 with curiosity and astonishment4 8,what60 exclaimed ,i1 8these limbs1 this complicated but brittle frame1 shall last for ever6 ,no disease shall attack it2 no pain shall seize it2 death shall withhold from it for ever his abhorred grasp6 ,perpetual vigour1 perpetual activity1 perpetual youth1 shall take up their abode with me6 ,time shall generate in me no decay1 shall not add a wrinkle to my brow1 or convert a hair of my head to grey6 ,this body was formed to die2 this edifice to crumble into dust2 the principles of corruption and mortality are mixed up in every atom of my frame4 ,but for me the laws of nature are suspended2 the eternal wheels of the universe roll backward2 ,i am destined to be triumphant over fate and time6 8,months1 years1 cycles1 centuries6 ,to me all these are but as indivisible moments4 ,i shall never become old2 ,i shall always be1 as it were1 in the porch and infancy of existence2 no lapse of years shall subtract any thing from my future duration4 ,i was born under ,louis the ,twelfth2 the life of ,francis the ,first now threatens a speedy termination2 he will be gathered to his fathers1 and ,henry his son will succeed him4 ,but what are princes and kings and generations of men to me8 ,i shall become familiar with the rise and fall of empires2 in a little while the very name of ,france1 my country1 will perish from the face of the earth1 and men will dispute about the situation of ,paris1 as they dispute about the site of ancient ,nineveh and ,babylon and ,troy4 ,yet ,i shall still be young4 ,i shall take my most distant posterity by the hand2 ,i shall accompany them in their career2 and1 when they are worn out and exhausted1 shall shut up the tomb over them1 and set forward40 ,there was something however in this part of my speculation that did not entirely please me4 ,methought the race of mankind looked too insignificant in my eyes4 ,i felt a degree of uneasiness at the immeasurable distance that was put between me and the rest of my species4 ,i found myself alone in the world4 ,must ,i for ever live without a companion1 a friend1 any one with whom ,i can associate upon equal terms1 with whom ,i can have a community of sensations1 and feelings1 and hopes1 and desires1 and fears8 ,i experienced something1 less than a wish1 yet a something very capable of damping my joy1 that ,i also were subject to mortality4 ,i could have been well content to be partaker with a race of immortals1 but ,i was not satisfied to be single in this respect4 ,i was not pleased to recollect how trivial would appear to me those concerns of a few years1 about which the passions of men are so eagerly occupied4 ,i did not like the deadness of heart that seemed to threaten me4 ,i began to be afraid of vacancy and torpor1 and that my life would become too uniformly quiet4 ,nor did it sufficiently console me to recollect that1 as one set of friends died off the stage1 another race would arise to be substituted in their stead4 ,i felt that human affections and passions are not made of this transferable stuff1 and that we can love nothing truly1 unless1 we devote ourselves to it heart and soul1 and our life is1 as it1 were1 bound up in the object of our attachment4 ,it was worse when ,i recollected my wife and my children4 ,when ,i considered for the first time that they were now in a manner nothing to me1 ,i felt a sensation that might be said to mount to anguish4 ,how can a man attach himself to any thing1 when he comes to consider it as the mere plaything and amusement of the moment6 ,in this statement however ,i am not accurate4 ,habit is more potent than any theoretical speculation4 ,past times had attached me deeply1 irrevocably1 to all the members of my family4 ,but ,i felt that ,i should survive them all4 ,they would die one by one1 and leave me alone4 ,i should drop into their graves the still renewing tear of anguish4 ,in that tomb would my heart be buried4 ,never1 never1 through the countless ages of eternity1 should ,i form another attachment4 ,in the happy age of delusion1 happy and auspicious at least to the cultivation of the passions1 when ,i felt that ,i also was a mortal1 ,i was capable of a community of sentiments and a going forth of the heart4 ,but how could ,i1 an immortal1 hope ever hereafter to feel a serious1 an elevating and expansive passion for the ephemeron of an hour6 ,as the first tumult of my thoughts subsided1 ,i began1 as is usual with persons whose minds are turned loose in the search of visionary happiness1 to picture to myself1 more steadily and with greater minuteness1 the objects ,i would resolve early to accomplish4 ,i would in the first place return to ,france1 my adored country1 the residence of my ancestors1 whose annals they had adorned1 whose plains had witnessed their heroic feats1 and whose earth enclosed their ashes4 ,to ,france ,i was endeared by every tie that binds the human heart2 her language had been the prattle of my infancy2 her national manners and temper were twined with the fibres of my constitution1 and could not be rooted out2 ,i felt that every ,frenchman that lived was my brother4 ,banishment had only caused these prejudices to strike their tendrils deeper in my heart4 ,i knew not that ,i should finally limit my abode to ,france4 ,a man who1 like ,melchisedec1 is 8without end of life10 may well consider himself as being also1 like him1 8without father1 without mother1 and without descent40 ,but at all events ,i would first fix my children1 who did not participate in my privileges1 in their native soil4 ,i would reside there myself1 at least till they were fully disposed of1 and till the admirable partner of the last seventeen years of my life had resigned her breath4 ,i would immediately repurchase the property of my ancestors1 which had been so distressfully resigned4 ,the exile should return from his seven years' banishment in triumph and splendour4 ,i would return to the court of my old patron and friend1 the gallant ,francis1 and present to him my boy1 the future representative of my family1 now one year older than ,i had been at the field of the ,cloth of ,gold4 ,though an exile from my country1 ,i had not been an inattentive witness of her fortunes4 ,the year fifteen hundred and forty-four was a remarkable and interesting year in the history of ,france4 ,the endless animosities of ,francis and the emperor had broken out with new fury about two years before4 ,in the spring of the present year1 the count d',anguien had won a battle in ,piedmont#h1 in which ten thousand imperialists were left dead upon the field1 and which might be considered as having at length effaced the defeat of ,pavia1 in the same part of the world nineteen years before4 ,the moment it had been announced that a battle was resolved on1 the young nobility of ,france1 with their characteristic ardour1 had hurried to the scene1 and the court of ,paris was1 in an instant as it were1 turned into a desert4 ,on the other hand1 the emperor and the king of ,england had concerted for the same season a formidable plan of attack against our northern frontier4 ,with an army of twenty-five thousand men respectively1 the one on the side of ,champagne1 and the other of ,picardy1 they agreed to advance directly into the heart of the kingdom1 and to unite their forces in the neighbourhood of ,paris4 ,the last intelligence that had reached me was1 that ,chteau ,thierry1 about twenty leagues from the metropolis1 was in the hands of the emperor1 and that the inhabitants of the capital1 filled with consternation1 were seeking their safety by flight in every direction4 ,these circumstances had passed idly by me1 and left little impression1 so long as ,i considered myself as an obscure peasant cut off for ever from the bosom of my country4 ,but1 vested with the extraordinary powers now intrusted to me1 the case was altered4 ,i felt even a greater interest in my sovereign1 now pressed down with disease and calamity1 yet retaining the original alacrity and confidence of his soul1 than ,i had done1 when ,i saw him in all the pride of youth1 and all the splendour of prosperity4 ,i was anxious that ,charles should now enter into his service2 and ,i determined once again to assume the cuirass and the falchion1 that ,i might be the instructor of his youth1 and his pattern in feats of war4 ,i resolved that my shepherd-boy1 bred in obscurity among woods and mountains1 should burst with sudden splendour upon his countrymen1 and prove in the field his noble blood and generous strain4 ,i also proposed to myself1 both out of sympathy for my king1 and to give greater clat to my son's entrance into life1 to replenish with my treasures the empty coffers of ,france1 and thus to furnish what at this period seemed to be the main spring upon which the fortune of war depended4 ,with the advantages ,i could afford him1 the career of ,charles could not fail to be rapid and illustrious1 and he would undoubtedly obtain the staff of constable of ,france1 the possessor of which1 ,montmorency1 was now in disgrace4 ,i would marry my daughters to such of the young nobility as ,i should find most distinguished in talents and spotless in character4 ,when1 by the death of her ,i most loved1 my affections should be weaned from my country1 and the scenes to which ,i had been accustomed were rendered painful and distressing1 ,i would then set out upon my travels4 ,i would travel with such splendour and profusion of expense 7for this1 though mortified in me by a reverse of many years' duration1 continued to be the foible of my heart7 as should supersede the necessity of letters of recommendation1 and secure me a favourable reception wherever ,i appeared4 ,i might spend a life1 in a manner1 in every country that was fortunate enough to allure my stay1 spreading improvements1 dispensing blessings1 and causing all distress and calamity to vanish from before me4 ,,chapter ,,xv4 ,my mind was occupied in these and similar reveries for several weeks after the death of the stranger4 ,my wife and children had hoped1 after that event1 that ,i should have returned to the habits which had pervaded the last six years of my existence1 and which they had felt so eminently productive of gratification and delight4 ,in this hope they found themselves deceived4 ,my domestic character was1 for the present at least1 wholly destroyed4 ,i had a subject of contemplation that did not admit of a partaker1 and from this subject ,i could not withdraw my thoughts1 so much as for an instant4 ,i had no pleasure but in that retirement1 where ,i could be unseen and unheard by any human eye or ear4 ,if at any time ,i was compelled to join the domestic circle1 ,i despatched the occasion that brought me there as speedily as possible2 and even while ,i remained in it1 was silent and absent1 engrossed with my own contemplations1 and heedless and unobservant of every thing around me4 ,my abstraction was not however so entire as to prevent me from sometimes stealing1 in a sort of momentary interregnum of thought1 in that pause where the mind rests upon the chain already passed over1 and seems passively to wait for the sequel1 a glance at my family4 ,i looked at them without knowing what it was that ,i did1 and without the intention to notice what ,i saw4 ,yet1 even in this state of mental abstraction1 visible objects will sometimes succeed in making their impression4 ,i perceived that my wife and children suffered from my behaviour4 ,i remarked a general air of disconsolateness1 and a mild unexpostulating submission1 to what nevertheless the heart deeply deplored4 ,they did not presume to interrupt me2 they did not by prying and inquisitive speeches attempt to extort from me the secret of the alteration they saw2 but it was manifest they conceived some great and radical calamity had poisoned the heart of our domestic joy4 ,it was these symptoms thus remarked by me1 that first roused me from the inebriation of my new condition4 ,i was compelled to suspect that1 while ,i revelled in visions of future enjoyment1 ,i was inflicting severe and unmerited pains on those ,i loved4 ,it was necessary1 if ,i valued their happiness1 that ,i should descend from the clouds of speculation and fancy1 and enter upon the world of realities4 ,but here ,i first found a difficulty to which1 during the reign of my intoxication1 ,i had been utterly insensible4 ,i was rich2 ,i could raise my family1 as far as the power of money extended1--money1 which may in some sense be styled the empress of the world1--to what heights ,i pleased4 ,i had hitherto committed the fault1 so common to projectors1 of looking only to ultimate objects and great resting places1 and neglecting to consider the steps between4 ,this was an omission of high importance4 ,every thing in the world is conducted by gradual process4 ,this seems to be the great principle of harmony in the universe4 ,nothing is abrupt2 one thing is so blended and softened into another1 that it is impossible to say where the former ends and the latter begins4 ,this remark is fully applicable to the situation which was now before me4 ,yesterday ,i was poor2 to-day ,i was possessor of treasures inexhaustible4 ,how was this alteration to be announced8 ,to dissipate the revenues of princes1 to purchase immense estates1 to launch into costly establishments1 are tasks to which the most vulgar mind is equal4 ,but no man stands alone in the world1 without all trace of what he has been1 and with no one near1 that thinks himself entitled to scrutinise his proceedings and his condition4 ,least of all was this my case4 ,i was bound to certain other persons by the most sacred obligations2 ,i could not separate myself from them2 ,i could not render myself a mere enigma in their eyes2 though1 in the language of the world1 the head of my family1 they were my natural censors and judges4 ,i was accountable to them for my conduct2 it was my duty1 paramount to all other duties1 to stand as a fair1 upright1 and honourable character in their estimation4 ,if these remarks be true taken in a general view1 they are much more so when applied to my particular case4 ,there are men who live in the midst of their families like an eastern despot surrounded with his subjects4 ,they are something too sacred to be approached2 their conduct is not to be reasoned upon2 the amount of their receipts and disbursements is not to be inspected2 their resources are unknown2 no one must say to them1 ,what dost thou8 or1 why hast thou thus conducted thyself8 ,even these persons will not escape the tax to which all men are liable4 ,they cannot kill the general spirit of enquiry2 the mystery in which they wrap themselves will often serve as an additional stimulus2 they will finally encounter the judgment and verdict of all4 ,for myself1 ,i had lived in the midst of my family upon a system of paternal and amicable commerce4 ,i had suffered too deeply from a momentary season of separation and mystery1 not to have been induced to renounce it decisively and for ever4 ,firm1 however1 as ,i had imagined my renunciation to have been1 ,i was now thrown back upon what ,i had most avoided4 ,i had a secret source of advantage1 the effects of which were to be participated by those ,i loved1 while the spring was to remain for ever unknown4 ,what ,i most sought upon this occasion1 was1 that my family should share my good fortune1 and at the same time be prevented from so much as suspecting that there was any thing mysterious connected with it4 ,to effect this1 ,i presently conceived that it would be necessary to sacrifice the sudden and instantaneous prosperity ,i had proposed to myself1 and introduce the reverse of our condition by slow1 and1 as far as possible1 insensible degrees4 ,one thing on which ,i determined1 preparatory to the other measures ,i had in view1 was to remove from my present habitation1 and take up my residence for a time in the city of ,constance4 ,in the cottage of the mountains it was impossible to make any material alteration in my establishment4 ,my property was of the narrowest extent2 nor would it be easily practicable in a country1 the inhabitants of which were accustomed to a humble allotment1 considerably to enlarge it4 ,my house was frugal1 if not mean2 and1 unless it were first pulled down and built over again1 the idea of introducing servants1 equipage1 or splendour into it1 would be absurd4 ,my design was not to make a long abode where ,i now was2 but1 as soon as my family should be sufficiently prepared for the transition1 to return to my native country4 ,i believed in the mean time1 that1 in the capital of the bishopric1 where my name was scarcely remembered by a single individual1 ,i should be more at liberty to proceed as circumstances suggested1 than in my present rural situation1 where every neighbour regarded himself as vested with a sort of inquisitorial power over all around him4 ,to account for this measure to my family1 ,i felt it incumbent on me to confess to them a certain pecuniary acquisition4 ,the story that most readily suggested itself1 was that of the stranger having left behind him a certain sum of which he made a donation to me4 ,this1 though in the plain and direct sense of the terms it were false1 yet in its spirit bore a certain resemblance to the truth2 and1 with that resemblance1 in spite of the rigid adherence to veracity1 that first ornament of a gentleman1 that most essential prerequisite to the regard and affection of others1 which ,i had hitherto maintained1 ,i was induced to content myself4 ,what could ,i do8 ,i was compelled to account for appearances2 ,i was forbidden by the most solemn injunctions to unfold the truth4 ,i should indeed have felt little complacence in the disclosure2 ,i should have been reluctant to announce a circumstance which1 as ,i began to feel1 introduced a permanent difference and separation between me and my family4 ,the sum at which ,i fixed the legacy of the stranger was three thousand crowns4 ,i was not inattentive to the future2 ,i should have been glad1 by my present account1 to have furnished a more ample solution for circumstances which might occur hereafter4 ,but some regard was due to probability4 ,an unknown1 a solitary man1 broken with age1 who arrived on foot1 and who declined all aid and attendance1 must not be represented as possessing mines of treasure4 ,it was some time before ,i could prevail on myself to break my story to the inhabitants of my cottage4 ,as the time approached when ,i was to bid an everlasting farewell to rural obscurity and a humble station1 they seemed to adorn themselves in new charms4 ,i was like the son of a king1 who had hitherto been told by his attendants that he was a mere villager1 and who1 while his youthful imagination is dazzled by the splendour that awaits him1 yet looks back with a wistful eye upon his mirthful sports1 his former companions1 and the simple charms of her who first obtained his guileless love4 ,i announced my acquisition and my purpose with a faltering tongue and a beating heart4 ,i could perceive that my tale produced few emotions of pleasure in those who heard it4 ,julia and her mother1 especially1 were warmly attached to their retirement2 and the scenes which had witnessed so many pleasurable incidents and emotions4 ,chagrin1 in spite of themselves1 made a transient abode upon their countenances2 but the unresisting mildness of the one1 and the considerate attachment of the other1 prevented1 for the present1 their sensations from breaking out into words4 ,the feelings1 however1 that they consigned to silence1 did not entirely escape the notice of the lively little ,marguerite4 ,she sympathised with them1 probably without being aware that they were sad4 ,she came towards me1 and1 with much anxiety in her enquiring face1 asked why we must go away from the cottage8 ,if ,i had got some money ,i might go to the town1 and buy sweetmeats1 and ribands1 and new clothes1 and a hundred more pretty things1 and bring them home4 ,for her part1 she should be better pleased to put on her finery1 and make her feast in the pretty old summer-house1 now she was again permitted to go and play in it1 than in a palace all stuck over with emeralds and rubies4 ,her mother wiped away a tear at the innocent speech of her darling1 kissed her1 and bid her go and feed the hen and her chickens4 ,charles was the only one in whom ,i could observe any pleasure at my intelligence4 ,he was not as yet skilful enough to calculate the advantages that three thousand crowns could purchase4 ,but ,i could see joy sparkle in his eyes1 as ,i announced my intention of bidding adieu to retirement1 and taking up my rest in the capital of the district4 ,his veins swelled with the blood of his ancestors2 his mind was inured to the contemplation of their prowess4 ,already sixteen years of age1 he had secretly burned to go forth into the world1 to behold the manners of his species1 and to establish for himself a claim to some rank in their estimation4 ,he had pined in thought at the mediocrity of our circumstances1 and the apparent impossibility of emerging2 for he regarded the duty of contributing his labour to the subsistence of the family1 as the first of all obligations2 and the more the bent of his spirit struggled against it1 the more resolutely he set himself to comply4 ,the rest of the family were no sooner retired1 than ,marguerite1 finding in what ,i had just announced to all1 an occasion from the use of which she could not excuse herself1 took this opportunity of unburthening the grief which had long been accumulating in her mind4 8,st4 ,leon10 said she1 8listen kindly to what ,i am going to say to you1 and assure yourself that ,i am actuated by no spleen1 resentment1 or ill-humour1 but by the truest affection4 ,i perceive ,i have lost1 in your apprehension1 the right of advising you4 ,i am no longer the partner of your counsels2 ,i am no longer the confident of your thoughts4 ,you communicate nothing but what you cannot suppress2 and that you communicate to your whole family assembled4 ,heaven knows how dear to me is every individual of that family6 but my love for them does not hide from me what is due to myself4 ,i know that a husband1 who felt as a husband ought1 and1 give me leave to say1 as ,i have deserved you should feel towards me1 could not act as you have acted to-night4 8,you must excuse my reminding you of some things which you seem to have forgotten4 ,i would not mention them1 if they had not been forgotten when they ought to have been remembered4 ,i have lived seventeen years with you2 my whole study had been your advantage and pleasure4 ,have you any thing to reproach me with8 ,point out to me1 if in any thing ,i could have added to your pleasure1 and have neglected it6 ,what ,i have done1 has not been the ceremonious discharge of a duty2 it has been the pure emanation of an attachment that knew no bounds4 ,i have passed with you through good fortune and ill fortune4 ,when we were rich1 ,i entered with my whole heart into your pleasures1 because they were yours4 ,when we were poor1 ,i endured every hardship without a murmur2 ,i watched by you1 ,i consoled you1 ,i reconciled you to yourself4 ,i do not mean to make a merit of all this3 no6 ,reginald6 ,i could not have acted otherwise if ,i would4 8,do me the justice to recollect1 that ,i have not been a complaining or irritable companion4 ,in all our adversities1 in the loss of fortune1 and the bitter consequences of that loss1 ,i never uttered a reproachful word4 ,what poverty1 sorrow1 hunger and famine never extorted from me1 you have at length wrung from my bleeding heart4 ,st4 ,leon6 ,i have known your bosom-thoughts4 ,in no former instance has your affection or your confidence been alienated from me2 and that consoled me for all the rest4 ,but now1 for three months1 the case has been entirely altered4 ,you have during all that time been busy1 pensive1 and agitated2 but ,i have been as much a stranger to your meditations as if ,i had never been accustomed to be their depository4 ,you have not scrupled to inflict a wound upon me that no subsequent change will ever be able to cicatrise4 ,nor indeed do ,i see any likelihood of a change4 ,you announce our removal to ,constance2 what we are to do next1 with what views1 or for what purpose1 ,i am ignorant4 8,i have made my election4 ,my heart is formed for affection1 and must always feel an uneasy void and desolation without it4 ,if you had thus robbed me of your attachment in an early period of our intercourse1 ,i know not upon what extremity my disappointment and anguish might have driven me4 ,they are harder to bear now2 but ,i submit4 ,it is too late either for relief or remedy4 ,what remains of my powers and my strength ,i owe to my children4 ,i will not seduce them from their father4 ,they may be benefited by his purse or his understanding1 though1 like me1 they should be deprived of his affection4 ,you may be their friend when ,i am no more4 ,i feel that this will not last long4 ,i feel that the main link that bound me to existence cannot be snapped1 and thus snapped by unkindness worse than death1 without promising soon to put a period to my miseries4 ,i shall be your victim in death1 after having devoted my life to you1 in a way in which few women were ever devoted to their husbands4 8,but this is not what ,i purposed chiefly to say4 ,this is what my situation and my feelings have unwillingly wrung from me4 ,though you have injured me in the tenderest point1 ,i still recollect what you were to me4 ,i still feel deeply interested in your welfare1 and the fair fame you are to transmit to your children4 ,i entreat you then to reflect deeply1 before you proceed further4 ,you seem to me to stand upon a precipice2 nor do the alteration that has taken place in your manners1 and the revolution of your heart1 lead me to augur favourably of the plans you have formed4 ,what is this stranger8 ,whence came he8 ,why did he hide himself1 and why was he pursued by the officers of justice8 ,had he no relations8 ,was his bequest of the sum he had about him his own act1 and who is the witness to its deliberateness or its freedom8 ,you must not think that the world is inattentive to the actions of men or their circumstances2 if it were1 the fame we prize would be an empty bauble4 ,no1 sir1 a fair fame can only be secured by unequivocal proceedings4 ,what will1 what can1 be thought of your giving shelter to an unknown1 a man accused of crimes1 a man never beheld even by an individual of your own family1 and upon the strength of whose alleged bequest you are about to change the whole mode of your life8 8,nor1 ,reginald1 must you think me credulous enough to imagine that you have now disclosed the whole or the precise truth4 ,three thousand crowns is not a sum sufficient to account for what you propose1 for the long agitation of your thoughts1 or for the change of character you have sustained4 ,you must either be totally deprived of rational judgment1 or there must be something behind1 that you have not communicated4 ,what do you purpose in going to reside in the midst of a city foreign to the manners of a ,frenchman1 distracted with internal broils1 and embittered to us by the recollection of the extremities we personally suffered in it8 ,is your ambition sunk so low1 that it can be gratified by such a transition8 ,no2 you mean more than you have announced2 you mean something you are unwilling to declare4 ,consider that meaning well6 ,put me out of the question6 ,i am nothing1 and no longer desire to be any thing4 ,but do not involve yourself in indelible disgrace1 or entail upon your memory the curses of your children60 ,what a distress was mine1 who1 in return to so generous and noble an expostulation1 could impart no confidence1 and indulge no sincerity6 ,i felt a misery1 of which1 till this hour1 ,i had been unable to form a conception4 ,fool that ,i was1 ,i had imagined that1 when endowed with the bequests of the stranger1 no further evil could approach me6 ,i had1 in my visionary mood1 created castles and palaces1 and expatiated in the most distant futurity6 and here ,i was1 stopped and disappointed at the threshold1 in the very first step of my proceedings4 ,what ,i could however ,i did2 ,i poured forth to ,marguerite1 not the secrets of my understanding1 but the overpowering emotions of my soul4 8,best1 most adorable of women60 cried ,i1 8how you rend my heart with the nobleness of your remonstrances6 ,never was man blessed with a partner so accomplished and exemplary as ,i have been6 ,do you think your merits can ever be obliterated from my memory8 ,do you think the feelings of gratitude and admiration can ever be weakened in my bosom1 or that the strength and singleness of my attachment can suffer decay8 ,bear me witness1 ,heaven6 ,i know no creature on the face of the earth that can enter into competition with you2 there is not the thing in nature that ,i prize in comparison4 ,i love you a thousand times better than myself1 and would die with joy to purchase your ease and satisfaction4 ,i can never repay the benefits you have conferred on me2 ,i can never rise to an equality with you4 8,what anguish then do you inflict upon me1 when you talk of becoming the victim of my unkindness8 ,believe you ,i can endure1 after having dissipated your patrimony and drawn you with me into exile1 after having experienced from you a tenderness such as man never in any other instance obtained from woman1 to entertain the idea of embittering the remainder of your life1 and shortening your existence8 ,i should regard myself as the most execrable of monsters4 ,i could not live under the recollection of so unheard-of a guilt4 ,if you would not have me abhor myself and curse existence1 live1 confide in me1 and be happy6 8,oh1 ,marguerite6 how wretched and pitiable is my situation6 ,make some allowance for me6 ,i have a secret that ,i would give worlds to utter1 but dare not4 ,do not imagine that there is1 or can be1 any decay in my affection6 ,confide in me6 ,allow to necessity1 what never1 never could be the result of choice6 ,in all things else1 you shall know my inmost heart1 as you possess the boundless and unalterable affections of my soul40 ,marguerite was somewhat1 but not wholly1 soothed by the earnestness of my protestations4 ,she saw1 for the prescience of the heart is never deceived1 that a blow was given to the entireness of our affection1 from which it would never recover4 ,she felt1 for in truth and delicacy of sentiment she was much my superior1 that the reserve1 in which ,i persisted1 and for which ,i deprecated excuse1 might be sufficiently consistent with a vulgar attachment1 but would totally change the nature of ours4 ,she was aware that it related to no ordinary point1 that it formed the pole-star of my conduct1 that it must present itself afresh from day to day1 and that in its operation it amounted to a divorce of the heart4 ,she submitted however1 and endeavoured to appear cheerful4 ,though she felt the worm of sorrow gnawing her vitals1 she was unwilling to occasion me an uneasiness it was in her power to withhold4 ,she was struck with the consistency and determination of my resistance1 and expostulated no more4 ,we went to ,constance4 ,we bade adieu to the scene of a six years' happiness1 such as the earth has seldom witnessed4 ,i alone had occasioned some imperfection in that happiness4 ,there were times indeed when1 sitting in affectionate communion with my wife1 and surrounded by my children1 my sensations had been as delicious as the state of human existence ever had to boast4 ,i felt my heart expand2 ,i was conscious to the unreserved union that subsisted among us2 ,i felt myself identified with all that ,i loved1 and all for whom my heart was anxious4 ,but the curse entailed upon me from the earliest period to which my memory can reach1 operated even in the cottage of the lake4 ,i was not formed to enjoy a scene of pastoral simplicity4 ,ambition still haunted me2 an uneasiness1 scarcely defined in its object1 from time to time recurred to my mind4 ,if ,i thought ,i wanted nothing for myself1 ,i deemed a career of honour due to my children4 ,again1 when ,i regarded honour as an empty phantom1 and persuaded myself that all conditions of life were intrinsically equal1 ,i recollected the fearful scene where hunger and destruction had hung over us in ,constance1 and in imagination often pictured to myself that scene as on the point of being renewed4 ,the sword of the demon1 famine1 seemed to my disturbed apprehension to be suspended over us by a hair4 ,such had been the draught of bitterness that occasionally detracted from this most enviable1 as in retrospect ,i am willing to denominate it1 period of my existence4 ,we quitted our rural retreat1 and took up our abode in a prosperous mercantile city4 ,i hired commodious apartments in one of the grand squares1 not far from the spot where the fairs are usually held4 ,undoubtedly there was nothing in this residence very congenial to the bent of my disposition1 or the projects that fermented in my mind4 ,i had merely chosen it by way of interval1 and to soften the transition from what ,i had been1 to what ,i purposed to be4 ,in the multitude of irresolute thoughts with which ,i laboured1 the small distance of ,constance from the cottage of the lake1 made me feel as if the removal thither was one of the gentlest and most moderate measures to which ,i could have recourse4 ,i had never been less happy and at peace with myself than ,i was now4 ,from general society and the ordinary intercourse of acquaintance ,i had long been estranged1 and it was in vain that ,i endeavoured to return to habits of that sort4 ,the society which the city of ,constance afforded had few charms for me4 ,it had no pretensions to the politeness1 the elegance1 the learning or the genius1 an intercourse with which had once been familiar to me4 ,it scarcely contained within its walls any but such as were occupied in merchandise or manufacture4 ,the attention of its inhabitants were divided between these objects1 and the encroachments which were making upon the ancient religion by the ,confession of ,augsburg and the dogmas of ,calvin4 ,the majority of the inhabitants were protestants2 and1 a few years before1 they had expelled their bishop and the canons of their cathedral4 ,having however miscarried in a religious war into which they had entered1 these dignitaries had been reinstalled in their functions and emoluments4 ,the situation thus produced was an unnatural one2 and a storm was evidently brewing more violent than any which the city had yet sustained4 ,the gloomy temper and melancholy austerity of the reformers were as little congenial to my temper1 as the sordid ignorance and selfishness of the trading spirit of the community4 ,i therefore lived in a state of seclusion4 ,i endeavoured to seek amusement in such novelties and occupations as might present themselves to a person disengaged from the general vortex4 ,but1 if the distinguished sphere in which ,i had once moved disqualified me for taking an interest in these puerilities1 the anticipations in which ,i indulged of the future disqualified me still more4 ,my domestic scene too no longer afforded me the consolation and relief ,i had been accustomed to derive from it4 ,marguerite exerted herself to appear cheerful and contented2 but it was an exertion4 ,i began to fear that the arrow of disappointment had indeed struck her to the heart4 ,i was anxiously occupied in considering what ,i was to do next4 ,i hoped that our next step might operate to revive her gaiety1 and by additional splendour amuse her solicitude4 ,i began to fear that ,i had taken a wrong method1 and entered the career of a better fortune with too much caution and timidity4 ,at all events ,i felt that we no longer lived together as we had done4 ,there was no more opening of the heart between us1 no more infantine guilelessness and sincerity1 no more of that unapprehensive exposure of every thought of the soul1 that adds the purest zest to the pleasures of domestic life4 ,we stood in awe of each other2 each was to the other in some degree an intrusive and unwelcome spy upon what was secretly passing in the mind4 ,there may be persons who regard this as an evil very capable of being endured2 but they must be such as never knew the domestic joys ,i once experienced4 ,the fall from one of these conditions of life to the other was too bitter4 ,,chapter ,,xvi4 ,anxious to divert my thoughts from what ,i hoped was only a temporary evil1 ,i determined1 accompanied by ,charles1 to make a tour of some of the cities of ,germany4 ,dresden was the capital to which ,i was most desirous of conducting him4 ,maurice1 duke of ,saxony1 who held his court there1 and who was now only twenty-three years of age1 was incomparably the most accomplished prince of the empire4 ,desirous as ,i was that my only son should fill a distinguished career1 ,i thought ,i could not better prepare him for the theatre of his native country1 than by thus initiating him beforehand in scenes of distinction and greatness4 ,he was delighted with his tour4 ,we had not proceeded many leagues from ,constance1 before1 indulging in the bent of my mind1 ,i laid aside the humbleness of our appearance1 and the obscure style in which we travelled2 and having procured a numerous cavalcade of horses and servants1 ,i set forward with considerable magnificence4 ,we passed through ,munich1 ,ratisbon1 and ,prague4 ,at ,munich we found the court of the elector palatine2 the diet of the empire was sitting at ,ratisbon1 when we arrived at that city4 ,charles had been almost entirely a stranger to every thing princely and magnificent from the time he was nine years of age2 and he was now exactly at that period of human life when external appearances are apt to make the strongest impression4 ,to him every thing that occurred seemed like transportation into a new world4 ,the figure we made procured us1 as strangers1 unquestioned admission into every circle4 ,we mixed with princes1 ourselves in garb and figure confounded with those we saw4 ,i had lived too much and too long in the most splendid society1 to find difficulty in resuming the unembarrassed and courtly manners which ,i had for years laid aside2 and ,charles might be said to see his father in a new character4 ,novelty prompted his admiration2 he was intoxicated with wonder4 ,his disposition had always led him to bold and adventurous conceptions2 nothing less than an imperious sense of duty could have restrained him from quitting our cottage1 and casting himself upon the world in search of honour and distinction4 ,his generous heart had beat to burst away from the obscurity of his station2 and it was with impatience and discontent that he looked forward to the life of a swain4 ,yet he knew not how to break through the obstacles that confined him4 ,it was therefore with transports of pleasure that he saw them vanishing as of themselves1 and the career of glory opening1 as if by enchantment1 to his eager steps4 ,the court of ,dresden was infinitely more delightful to him than the court of ,munich1 or the imperial display at ,ratisbon4 ,here ,charles saw a young prince in the flower of his age1 whose talents and spirit rendered him the universal object of attention and adoration4 ,he remarked1 in the fire of his eyes1 the vivacity of his gestures1 and the grandeur of his port1 something inexpressibly different from those princes1 of whom it is necessary that their rank should be announced to you by some extrinsic circumstance1 that you may not mistake them for a merchant's clerk or a city magistrate4 ,the sentiment that he breathed1 as it were instinctively1 as we returned from the first time of our seeing duke ,maurice1 was1 8,at twenty-three years of age may ,i1 in appearance1 accomplishments1 and spirit1 resemble this man60 ,here ,i was desirous of making a longer stay than at the cities through which we had previously passed1 and of procuring for my son some personal intercourse with this great ornament of the age4 ,i judged this to be the more easy1 as1 in our first visit to the palace1 ,i had perceived some ,french noblemen of the ,protestant persuasion1 who had resorted to the duke's court in search of employment4 ,they appeared not to know me2 but that was little to be wondered at1 considering that ,i had been seven years absent from my country1 and that the calamities by which ,i had been overtaken more than once during that period1 might be supposed to have produced a greater effect upon me than the mere lapse of years would have done4 ,among the rest ,i remarked ,gaspar de ,coligny1 who was only twenty-one years of age at the time ,i quitted ,france1 and had then been remarked as one of the most promising young men his country had to boast4 ,his stay here was expected to be short2 his hopes in his own country1 from the greatness of his connections1 were of the highest class2 and he had only come to ,dresden at the earnest invitation of duke ,maurice1 who entertained an ardent affection for him4 ,my heart led me towards him2 policy concurred in dictating the application1 as1 if ,i were fortunate enough to gain his favour1 my son could not have a friend better qualified either to form his character or forward his advancement4 ,i wrote to ,coligny to announce my request to him1 and in a few hours after the delivery of my letter that young nobleman came in person to wait on me4 ,he informed me that he had done so1 because he had something of delicacy to mention1 which he did not choose to trust to the intermission of a third person1 and upon which1 as he hoped ,i could remove his scruple1 he did not like even to bestow the formality of putting it on paper4 8,i am a gentleman of ,france10 said ,coligny2 8you will excuse my frankness4 ,i am a gentleman of ,france2 you will not wonder at the niceness of my honour4 ,mixing in society1 ,i do not pretend minutely to investigate the character of every person with whom ,i converse2 but what you ask of me obliges me to consult my understanding1 and enquire into facts4 ,i cannot consent to vouch for any man's character to another1 till ,i have paid some attention to the ground upon which that character rests4 8,i remember the count de ,st4 ,leon with pleasure and advantage at the court of my own sovereign4 ,every one admired his accomplishments1 his gallantry1 and his learning2 every one spoke of him with respect4 ,unfortunate circumstances1 as we all understood1 deprived you of your patrimony2 that is nothing to me2 ,i respect a nobleman in misfortune1 as much as when he is surrounded with wealth and splendour4 ,you retired into voluntary exile2 ,i heard1 with great grief1 of some subsequent calamities that have overtaken you4 ,but1 here in ,saxony1 ,i see you resuming all your former splendour1 and coming forward with the magnificence of a prince4 ,other of your countrymen have remarked it1 as well as myself1 and feel themselves at a loss to account for what they see4 8,excuse me1 count6 by your application to me1 you oblige me to speak freely4 ,i dare say you can clear up the difficulty1 and account for this second revolution in your fortune1 upon which ,i shall then be the first to congratulate you4 ,i cannot suspect a man1 with your high descent and the illustrious character you formerly maintained1 of any thing dishonourable4 ,but you have not sufficiently considered the account we all owe to one another1 and the clearness of proceeding we are obliged to maintain1 not only to our own hearts1 but in the face of the world4 ,the present occasion is1 ,i trust1 fortunate for you2 and1 when you have assisted me in complying with the rules by which every honourable man governs himself1 ,i shall be eager to publish your justification1 and render you all the service in my power40 ,i was ready to burst with astonishment and vexation during this representation of ,coligny4 ,i could feel my colour change from pale to red1 and from red to pale4 ,i could only answer with suffocation and inward rage1 that ,i was much obliged to him2 ,i would consider what he said2 ,i would acquaint him with my justification2 and1 whenever it was made1 he might be assured it should be an ample one4--,i was cautious as to what ,i uttered2 ,i could not immediately foresee what it was eligible1 or what it was possible1 to do2 and ,i was resolved that ,i would not1 by an idle or hasty expression1 preclude myself1 in a matter of so much moment1 from the benefits of future deliberation4 ,if what ,i had just heard had come from any other person1 ,i should probably have despised it2 but ,i felt at once that ,gaspar de ,coligny might be considered1 in a case of this sort1 as the representative of all that was most honourable and illustrious in my native country4--,finding that ,i was indisposed to any further communication on the subject1 he took a polite leave1 and departed4 ,i was no sooner alone than ,i felt myself overwhelmed with mortification and shame4 ,i had rejoiced in the bequests of the stranger1 because ,i regarded them as the means of restoring me to splendour1 and replacing my children in the situation to which they were entitled by their birth4 ,was that which ,i had regarded as the instrument of their glory1 to become the medium of their ignominy and disgrace8 ,i had suffered all other misfortunes1 but the whisper of dishonour had never been breathed against me4 ,i was a son of honour1 descended of a race of heroes1 and cradled in the lap of glory and fame4 ,when we quitted ,paris in the year #aecg1 my incomparable wife had set to sale our entire property1 resolved that1 though driven into exile1 we would not leave it in the power of the meanest individual to controvert the sacred attention we yielded to every just obligation4 ,since that time ,i had declined from the splendour of rank to the humble situation of a rustic1 cultivating my little property with my own hands2 nay1 ,i had even1 for a short time1 hired myself as a labourer in the garden of the bishop of ,constance4 ,but the same disdain of every thing disgraceful had followed me to my cottage and my truckle bed1 which ,i had originally learned in the halls of chivalry and the castle of my ancestors4 ,accordingly ,i had uniformly retained the same honourable character and spotless fame4 ,st4 ,leon1 the virtuous cottager1 had in nothing blemished the name of ,st4 ,leon1 surrounded with glory in the siege of ,pavia4 ,often1 and with pride1 had ,i pointed out this circumstance to my son1 adding1 ,wherever fortune calls you1 for whatever scenes you may be reserved1 remember that your father was unfortunate1 but that through life he never acted a deed nor conceived a thought1 that should stain your manly cheeks with the blush of shame6 ,i stand before you a culprit1 as having robbed you of your patrimony1 but ,i have preserved for you entire the inheritance of our honour6 ,this had been the first lesson imprinted upon my infant mind4 ,all other possessions ,i had ever held cheap and worthless in comparison with that of an illustrious name4 ,my indignation at the attack it now sustained was boundless4 ,the more ,i thought1 the more intolerable it appeared4 ,i was impatient and furious1 like a lion struggling in the toils4 ,i could with joy have trampled under my feet whoever aspersed me4 ,i could have wantoned in blood1 and defied my adversaries to mortal combat4 ,alas1 all my fury was useless here6 ,it was no tale whispered in the dark that ,i had to contend with2 it was the commentary of the world upon incontestable facts4 ,though a hecatomb of souls should be sacrificed at the shrine of my blasted name1 the facts would still remain1 the mystery still require to be solved4 ,coligny1 the virtuous ,coligny1 had made no observations on the circumstances he mentioned2 he merely proposed a difficulty1 and waited my answer4 ,i was called upon to exercise the whole of my deliberative powers as to the reply which was to be returned1 or the conduct to be held1 upon the question of ,coligny4 ,every thing ,i most valued was now at issue2 and a false step taken under the present circumstances could never be retrieved4 ,i had another sort of party to deal with here1 than when ,i had told ,marguerite the tale of the stranger and his legacy4 ,nothing would pass now1 but what bore an open1 fair1 and unequivocal appearance4 ,i must vent no assertion that could not bear to be sifted to the bottom1 and that did not fully accord with all the vouchers with which it could be collated4 ,i had written to ,marguerite1 immediately after launching into the expense with which our tour had been attended1 that ,i had received an unexpected acquisition from the death of a relation of my own family in ,france4 ,i knew that the story of the three thousand crowns would no longer account for the style in which ,i was proceeding1 and this fabrication suggested itself upon the spur of the moment4 ,i hated to think of the difficulties in the way of explanation in which ,i was involved2 ,i abhorred the system of falsehood ,i was driven to practise4 ,it did not occur to me at the time1 infatuated as ,i was6 that ,i should have occasion to account for this accession of wealth to any one out of my own family4 ,marguerite1 ,i well knew1 had no correspondence in ,france1 nor therefore any obvious means of verifying or refuting this second deception4 ,but such a story could not be told to noblemen of ,france1 without being instantly liable to be compared with known facts1 and eventually investigated upon the spot where the scene was laid4 ,marguerite herself1 ,i well knew1 had listened with incredulity to the explanation ,i had made1 and the alleged legacy of the stranger2 what could ,i expect from indifferent hearers8 ,they might not all possess her good sense and sagacity in judging2 but they were destitute of that personal kindness and partiality which were calculated to induce her to credit whatever ,i affirmed4 ,most men have a malignant pleasure in the detection of specious pretences1 in humbling the importunate superiority that obscures their claims1 and removing the rival who might otherwise acquire the prize of which they are in pursuit4 ,my mind was still torn and distracted with these contemplations1 when in the afternoon of the same day on which ,i had received the visit of ,coligny1 my attention was suddenly roused by the abrupt entrance of my son into the chamber where ,i was sitting4 ,he opened the door with a hurried action as he entered1 and1 having closed it impetuously after him1 advanced directly towards me4 ,he then stopped himself2 and1 turning from me1 ,i could perceive a rush of crimson in his face like that of a man suffocated4 ,a passion of tears succeeded that shook his frame1 and sufficiently proved that his feelings had sustained some extraordinary shock4 ,my whole soul was alarmed at what ,i saw2 and1 following him as he retired to the other side of the room1 in the gentlest accents ,i endeavoured to soothe him1 while ,i enquired with earnestness and trepidation into the cause of his grief4 ,,chapter ,,xvii4 ,he repelled me4 8,sit down1 sir1 sit down6 ,do not follow me1 ,i beg of you2 but sit down60 ,his manner was earnest and emphatical4 ,mechanically and without knowing what ,i did1 ,i obeyed his direction4 ,he came towards me4 8,i have no time10 added he1 8for qualifying and form4 ,tell me6 am ,i the son of a man of honour or a villain80 ,he saw ,i was shocked at the unexpected rudeness of his question4 8,forgive me1 my father6 ,i have always been affectionate and dutiful2 ,i have ever looked up to you as my model and my oracle4 ,but ,i have been insulted6 ,it never was one of your lessons to teach me to bear an insult60 8,is it10 replied ,i1 with the sternness that the character of a father will seldom fail to inspire under such circumstances1 8because you have been insulted1 that you think yourself authorised to come home and insult him to whom you owe nothing but respect and reverence80 8,stop1 sir6 ,before you claim my reverence1 you must show your title to it1 and wipe off the aspersions under which you at present labour40 8,insolent1 presumptuous boy6 ,know that ,i am not by you to be instructed in my duty1 and will not answer so rude a questioner6 ,the down as yet scarcely shades your school-boy's cheek2 and have you so forgotten the decencies of life as to scoff your father80--,his eye brightened as ,i spoke4 8,you are right1 sir4 ,it gives me pleasure to see your blood rise in return to my passion4 ,your accent is the accent of innocence4 ,but1 indeed6 the more innocent and noble you shall prove yourself1 the more readily will you forgive my indignation40 8,i cannot tell4 ,my temper does not fit me to bear the rudeness of a son4 ,nor do ,i think that such behaviour as this can be any credit to you1 whatever may have been the provocation4 ,tell me however what is the insult that has thus deeply shaken you80 8,i went this afternoon to the tennis-court near the river1 and played several games with the young count ,luitmann4 ,while we were playing1 came in the chevalier ,dupont1 my countryman4 ,the insolence of his nature is a subject of general remark2 and he has1 though ,i know not for what reason1 conceived a particular animosity to me4 ,a trifling dispute arose between us4 ,we gradually warmed4 ,he threatened to turn me out of the court2 ,i resented the insult2 and he passionately answered1 that the son of an adventurer and a sharper had no business there1 and he would take care ,i should never be admitted again4 ,i attempted to strike him1 but was prevented2 and presently learned that the sudden and unexplained way in which we have emerged from poverty was the ground of his aspersion4 ,as ,i gained time1 and reflected more distinctly upon what was alleged1 ,i felt that personal violence could never remove an accusation of this sort4 ,i saw too1 though1 intoxicated as ,i had idly been with the unwonted splendour to which ,i was introduced1 ,i had not adverted to it at the time1 that the case was of a nature that required explanation4 ,i had been accustomed to reverence and an implicit faith in the wisdom and rectitude of my parents1 and therefore encountered in silent submission the revolution of our fortune4 ,but this neutrality will suffice no longer4 8,to you1 sir1 ,i resort for explanation4 ,send me back to the insolent youth and his companions1 with a plain and unanswerable tale1 that may put to silence for ever these brutal scoffs and reproaches4 ,let it be seen this night which of the two has most fully merited to be thrust out of honourable society4 ,i trust ,i have not so demeaned myself but that our mutual companions will join to compel this unmannered boor to retract his aspersions40 8,charles1 you are too warm and impetuous60-- 8,too warm1 sir6 when ,i hear my father loaded with the foulest appellations80 8,you are young and ill qualified to terminate in the proper way a business of this serious aspect3 leave it to me60 8,excuse me1 my father6 ,though the names ,i have repeated were bestowed upon you1 it was against me that the insult was employed4 ,i must return immediately1 and obtain justice4 ,this is a moment that must in some degree fix my character for fortitude and determination1 and ,i cannot withdraw from the duty it imposes4 ,only tell me what ,i have to say4 ,furnish me with a direct and unambiguous explanation of what ,dupont has objected to us1 and ,i undertake for the rest40 8,i see1 my son1 that you are moved1 and ,i will trust you60 ,he seized my hand1 he gazed earnestly in my face1 he seemed prepared to devour every word ,i should utter4 8,gaspar de ,coligny1 the flower of the ,french nobility1 has been with me this morning4 ,he has stated to me in an ingenuous and friendly way the same difficulty with which ,dupont has so brutally taunted you4 ,i was meditating and arranging my answer but now1 when you entered the room40 ,as ,i uttered these words1 ,charles let go my hand1 and withdrew his eyes1 with evident tokens of disappointment and chagrin4 ,he paused for a few moments1 and then resumed3-- 8,why do you tell me of meditation and arrangement6 ,why did you send away ,coligny unanswered1 or why baffle and evade the earnestness of my enquiries8 ,i know not all the sources of wealth2 but ,i cannot doubt that the medium through which wealth has honourably flowed may1 without effort and premeditation1 easily be explained4 ,a just and a brave man acts fearlessly and with explicitness2 he does not shun1 but court1 the scrutiny of mankind2 he lives in the face of day1 and the whole world confesses the clearness of his spirit and the rectitude of his conduct4 8,sir1 ,i have just set my foot on the threshold of life4 ,there is one lesson you have taught me1 which ,i swear never to forget1--to hold life and all its pleasures cheap1 in comparison with an honourable fame4 ,my soul burns with the love of distinction4 ,i am impatient to burst away from the goal1 and commence the illustrious career4 ,i feel that ,i have a hand and a heart capable of executing the purposes that my soul conceives4 ,uninured to dishonour1 or to any thing that should control the passion of my bosom1 think1 sir1 what are my emotions at what has just occurred6 8,i was bred in obscurity and a humble station4 ,i owed this disadvantage1 you tell me1 to your error4 ,i forgave you2 ,i was content2 ,i felt that it was incumbent on me by my sword and my own exertions to hew my way to distinction4 ,you have since exchanged the lowness of our situation for riches and splendour4 ,at this revolution ,i felt no displeasure2 ,i was well satisfied to start upon more advantageous terms in the race ,i determined to run4 ,but1 sir1 whence came these riches8 ,riches and poverty are comparatively indifferent to me2 but ,i was not born to be a mark for shame to point her finger at4 ,a little while ago you were poor2 you were the author of your own poverty2 you dissipated your paternal estate4 ,did ,i reproach you8 ,no2 you were poor1 but not dishonoured6 ,i attended your couch in sickness2 ,i exerted my manual labour to support you in affliction4 ,i honoured you for your affection to my mother2 ,i listened with transport to the history of your youth2 ,i was convinced ,i should never blush to call ,reginald de ,st4 ,leon my father4 ,i believed that lessons of honour1 so impressive as those you instilled into my infant mind1 could never flow but from an honourable spirit4 ,oh1 if there is any thing equivocal or ignoble in the riches we have displayed1 restore me1 instantly restore me1 to unblemished and virtuous poverty60 ,i was astonished at the firmness and manliness of spirit that ,charles upon this occasion discovered4 ,i could scarcely believe that these were the thoughts and words of a youth under seventeen years of age4 ,i felt that every thing illustrious and excellent might be augured of one who1 at these immature years1 manifested so lofty and generous a soul4 ,i could have pressed him in my arms1 have indulged my emotions in sobs and tears of transport1 and congratulated myself that ,i was father to so worthy a son4 ,but his temper and manners awed1 and held me at a distance4 ,this was one consequence of the legacies of the stranger6 8,charles60 said ,i1 8your virtues extort my confidence4 ,for the world a tale must be prepared that shall serve to elude its curiosity and its malice4 ,but to you ,i confess1 there is a mystery annexed to the acquisition of this wealth that can never be explained40 ,he stood aghast at my words4 8,am ,i to believe my ears8 ,a tale prepared8 ,a mystery never to be explained8 ,i adjure you by all that you love1 and all that you hold sacred----60 ,his voice was drowned in a sudden gush of tears4 ,with an action of earnestness and deprecation1 he took hold of my hand4 8,no1 sir1 no artful tale1 no disguise1 no hypocrisy6----0 ,as he spoke1 his voice suddenly changed1 his accent became clear and determined4--8,will you consent this very hour to quit the court of ,dresden1 and to resign fully and without reserve this accursed wealth1 for the acquisition of which you refuse to account80 8,whence10 replied ,i1 8have you the insolence to make such a proposal8----,no1 ,i will not60 8,then ,i swear by the omnipresent and eternal ,god1 you shall never see or hear of me more60 ,i perceived that this was no time for the assertion of paternal authority4 ,i saw that the poor boy was strangely and deeply moved1 and ,i endeavoured to soothe him4 ,i felt that the whole course of his education had inspired him with an uncontrollable and independent spirit1 and that it was too late to endeavour to repress it4 8,my dear ,charles10 said ,i1 8what is come to you8 ,when ,i listen to a language like this from your lips1 ,i scarcely know you for my son4 ,this impertinent ,dupont has put you quite beside yourself4 ,another time we will talk over the matter calmly2 and depend upon it1 every thing shall be made out to your satisfaction40 8,do not imagine1 sir1 that my self-possession is not perfect and complete4 ,i know what ,i do1 and my resolution is unalterable4 ,if you have any explanation to give1 give it now4 ,if you will yield to my proposal1 declare your assent1 and ,i am again your son4 ,but to bear the insults of my fellows unanswered1 or to live beneath the consciousness of an artful and fictitious tale1 no consideration on earth shall induce me4 ,i love you1 sir2 ,i cannot forget your lessons or your virtues4 ,i love my mother and my sisters2 no words can tell how dearly and how much4 ,but my resolution is taken2 ,i separate myself from you all and for ever4 ,nothing in my mind can come in competition with a life of unblemished honour40 8,and are you such a novice1 as to need the being told that honour is a prize altogether out of the reach of an unknown and desolate wanderer1 such as you propose to become8 ,my wealth1 boy1 is unlimited1 and can buy silence from the malicious1 and shouts and applause from all the world4 ,a golden key unlocks the career of glory1 which the mean and the pennyless are never allowed to enter40 8,i am not such a novice1 as not to have heard the language of vice1 though ,i never expected to hear it from a father4 ,poverty with integrity shall content me4 ,the restless eagerness of my spirit is so great1 that ,i will trust to its suggestions1 and hope to surmount the obstacles of external appearance4 ,if ,i am disappointed in this1 and destined to perish unheard of and unremembered1 at least ,i will escape reproach4 ,i will neither be charged with the deeds1 nor give utterance to the maxims1 of dishonour40 8,charles10 replied ,i1 8be not the calumniator of your father6 ,i swear to you by every thing that is sacred2 and you know my integrity2 never did the breath of falsehood pollute these lips2----0 ,he passionately interrupted me4 8,did the stranger bequeath you three thousand crowns8 ,have you lately received an unexpected acquisition by the death of a near relation in ,france80 ,i was silent4 ,this was not a moment for trifling and equivocation4 8,oh1 my father1 how is your character changed and subverted8 ,you say true4 ,for sixteen years ,i never heard a breath of falsehood from your lips2 ,i trusted you as ,i would the oracles of eternal truth4 ,but it is past6 ,a few short months have polluted and defaced a whole life of integrity6 ,in how many obscurities and fabulous inconsistencies have you entangled yourself8 ,nor is it the least of the calamities under which my heart sickens at this moment1 that ,i am reduced to hold language like this to a father60 ,what misery was mine1 to hear myself thus arraigned by my own son1 and to be unable to utter one word in reply to his accusations6 ,to be thus triumphed over by a stripling2 and to feel the most cruel degradation1 in the manifestation of an excellence that ought to have swelled my heart with gratulation and transport6 ,i had recollected my habitual feelings for near forty years of existence2 ,i had dropped from my memory my recent disgrace1 and dared to appeal to my acknowledged veracity2 when this retort from my son came to plunge me tenfold deeper in a sea of shame4 ,he proceeded3-- 8,i am no longer your son6 ,i am compelled to disclaim all affinity with you6 ,but this is not all4 ,by your dishonour you have cut me off from the whole line of my ancestors4 ,i cannot claim affinity with them1 without acknowledging my relation to you4 ,you have extinguished abruptly an illustrious house4 ,the sun of ,st4 ,leon is set for ever6 ,standing as ,i do a candidate for honourable fame1 ,i must henceforth stand by myself1 as if a man could be author of his own existence1 and must expect no aid1 no favour1 no prepossession1 from any earthly consideration1 save what ,i am1 and what ,i shall perform40 8,my son10 replied ,i1 8you cut me to the heart4 ,such is the virtue you display1 that ,i must confess myself never to have been worthy of you1 and ,i begin to fear ,i am now less worthy of you than ever4 ,yet you must suffer me to finish what ,i was about to say when you so passionately interrupted me4 ,i swear then1 by every thing that is sacred1 that ,i am innocent4 ,whatever interpretation the world may put upon my sudden wealth1 there is no shadow of dishonesty or guilt connected with its acquisition4 ,the circumstances of the story are such that they must never be disclosed2 ,i am bound to secrecy by the most inviolable obligations1 and this has led me to utter a forged and inconsistent tale4 ,but my conscience has nothing with which to reproach me4 ,if then1 ,charles1 my son1 once my friend1 my best and dearest consolation60--,i pressed his hand1 and my voice faltered as ,i spoke1--8if you are resolute to separate yourself from me1 at least take this recollection with you wherever you go1--,whatever may be my external estimation1 ,i am not the slave of vice1 your father is not a villain60 8,alas1 my father60 rejoined ,charles1 mournfully1 8what am ,i to believe8 ,what secret can be involved in so strange a reverse of fortune1 that is not dishonourable8 ,you have given utterance to different fictions on the subject1 fictions that you now confess to be such2 how am ,i to be convinced that what you say at this moment is not dictated more by a regard for my tranquillity1 than by the simplicity of conscious truth8 ,if ,i believe you1 ,i am afraid my credit will be the offspring rather of inclination1 than of probability4 ,and indeed1 if ,i believe you1 what avails it8 ,the world will not believe4 ,your character is blasted2 your honour is destroyed2 and1 unless ,i separate myself from you1 and disown your name1 ,i shall be involved in the same disgrace40 ,saying thus1 he left me1 and in about half an hour returned4 ,his return ,i had not foreseen2 ,i had made no use of his absence4 ,my mind was overcome1 my understanding was stupified1 by a situation and events ,i had so little expected4 ,i had stood1 unmoved1 leaning against the wall1 from the instant of his departure4 ,i seemed rooted to the spot1 incapable of calling up my fortitude1 or arranging my ideas4 ,my eyes had rolled1--my brow was knit1--,i had bit my lips and my tongue with agony4 ,from time to time ,i had muttered a few words1--8,my son6 my son6--wealth6 wealth6--my wife6--my son60 but they were incoherent and without meaning4 ,charles re-entered the apartment where the preceding conversation had passed1 and the noise he made in entering roused me4 ,he had his hat in his hand1 which he threw from him1 and exclaimed with an accent of dejection and anguish1 8,my father6--farewell60 8,cruel1 cruel boy6 can you persist in your harsh and calamitous resolution8 ,if you have no affection for me1 yet think of your mother and your sisters60 ,seek not1 sir1 to turn me from my purpose6 ,the struggle against it in my own bosom has been sufficiently severe2 but it must be executed48--,his voice1 as he spoke1 was inward1 stifled1 and broken with the weight of his feelings4 8,then--farewell60 ,i replied4 8,yet take with you some provision for your long and perilous adventure4 ,name the sum you will accept1 and1 whatever is its amount1 it shall instantly be yours40 8,i will have nothing4 ,it is this wealth1 with whose splendour ,i was at first child enough to be dazzled1 that has destroyed us4 ,my fingers shall not be contaminated with an atom of it4 ,what is to be my fate1 as yet1 ,i know not4 ,but ,i am young1 and strong1 and enterprising1 and courageous4 ,the lessons of honour and nobility live in my bosom4 ,though my instructor is lost1 his instructions shall not be vain6 8,once more farewell6 ,from my heart ,i thank you for your protestations of innocence4 ,never will ,i part with this last consolation1 to believe them4 ,i have recollected the manner in which they were uttered2 it was the manner of truth4 ,if there be any evidence of a contrary tendency1 that ,i will forget4 ,though to the world ,i shall be without father and without relatives1 ,i will still retain this sacred consolation for my hours of retirement and solitude1 that my ancestors were honourable1 and my father1 in spite of all presumptions to the contrary1--was innocent4 8,how hard it is to quit for ever a family of love and affection1 as ours has been6 ,bear witness for me1 how deeply1 ,i sympathised with you at ,paris1 in ,switzerland1 in ,constance6 ,though now you dissolve the tie between us1 yet1 till now1 never had a son greater reason for gratitude to a father4 ,you and my mother have made me what ,i am2 and that ,i may preserve what you have made me1 ,i now cast myself upon an untried world4 ,the recollection of what ,i found you in the past period of my life1 shall be for ever cherished in my memory6 8,i quit my mother and my sisters without leave-taking or adieu4 ,it will be a fruitless and painful addition to what each party must learn to bear4 ,dear1 excellent1 peerless protector and companions of my early years6 my wishes are yours1 my prayers shall for ever be poured out for you6 ,you1 sir1 who rob them of a son and a brother1 be careful to make up to them a loss1 which ,i doubt not they will account grievous6 ,i can do nothing for them4 ,i can throw myself into the arms of poverty2 it is my duty4 ,but1 in doing so1 ,i must separate myself from them1 assuredly innocent1 and worthy of more and greater benefits than ,i could ever confer on them6--,farewell60 ,saying this1 he threw himself into my arms1 and ,i felt the agonies of a parting embrace4 ,,chapter ,,xviii4 ,for some time ,i could not believe him departed4 ,when ,i retired to rest1 ,i felt the want of ,charles to press my hand1 and wish me refreshing slumbers2 and ,i passed on1 sad and solitary1 to my chamber4 ,when ,i came next morning into the breakfasting room1 ,charles was not there1 to greet me with looks of affection and duty2 and the gilding and ornaments of the apartment were to me no less disconsolate than the damps and sootiness of a dungeon4 ,i hoped he would return4 ,i knew how tenderly he was attached to his mother and his sisters2 ,i was fully convinced that the affection for me which had been the perpetual habit of his mind1 could not be entirely eradicated from his heart4 ,i mentioned him not in my letters to ,constance2 the pen lingered1 my hand trembled1 when ,i thought of him2 ,i could neither pretend that he was with me1 nor announce the catastrophe of his absence4 ,but ,i opened the letters of ,marguerite with still increasing impatience4 ,finding that he did not return to me1 ,i hoped that some alteration of the extraordinary resolution he had formed1 would lead him to ,constance4 ,in vain ,i hoped6 ,there reached me1 by no conveyance1 from no quarter1 tidings of my son6 ,how surprising an event6 ,a youth1 not seventeen years of age1 forming and executing in the same instant the purpose of flying from his parents and his family6 ,deserting all his hopes1 all his attachments1 all his fortune6 ,refusing the smallest particle of assistance or provision in his entrance upon the wide scene of the world6 ,oh1 ,charles6 exclaimed ,i1 you are indeed an extraordinary and admirable youth6 ,but are you fortified against all the temptations of the world and all its hardships8 ,do your tender years qualify you to struggle with its unkindness1 its indifference1 and its insults8 ,in how few quarters is merit ever treated with the attention and benevolence it deserves6 ,how often is it reduced to tremble with indignation1 at the scoffs and brutality to which it is exposed1 and at the sight of folly and vice exalted in its stead1 and appointed its despot and its master6 ,my son1 my son6 what will be your fate8 ,is your unseasoned frame reserved to perish by hunger1 in barren deserts and beneath inclement skies8 ,will you not in some hour of bitter disappointment and unpitied loneliness1 lay yourself down in despair and die8 ,will you not be made the slave of some capricious tyrant for bread8 ,generous as is your nature1 will it be eternally proof against reiterated temptation8 ,upon what a world are you turned adrift6 a world of which you know as little1 as the poor affrighted soul of a dying man knows1 when launching into the mysterious1 impenetrable abyss of eternity6 ,unnatural father1 to have reduced my only son to this cruel alternative6 ,i should with a less aching and agonising heart have accompanied his senseless remains to the grave4 ,dreadful as that parting is1 there at least the anxious mind of the survivor has rest4 ,there are no thoughts and devices in the silence of the tomb4 ,there all our prospects end1 and we are no longer sensible to pain1 to persecution1 to insult1 and to agony4 ,but ,charles1 thus departed1 wandering on the face of the globe1 without protector1 adviser or resource1 no lapse of years can put a close upon my anxiety for him6 ,if ,i am in ease and prosperity1 ,i cannot relish them1 for my exposed and living son may be at that moment in the depth of misery6 ,if ,i am myself oppressed and suffering1 the thought of what may be his fate will form a dreadful addition to all my other calamities6 ,what am ,i to say of him upon my return to ,constance8 ,if he had died1 this was a natural casualty2 and1 whatever grief it might occasion1 time no doubt would mollify and abate it4 ,but what account can now be rendered of him to his disconsolate mother and terrified sisters8 ,how can ,i lift up my head in their presence1 or meet the glance of their reproachful eyes6 ,the idea had occurred to me1 in the instant of ,charles's departure1 and immediately after his exit1 of detaining or bringing him back by force4 ,he was by his extreme youth1 according to the maxims of the world1 still in a state of guardianship1 and unqualified to be the chooser of his own actions4 ,but to this mode of proceeding1 however deeply ,i felt the catastrophe which had taken place1 ,i could never consent4 ,it was in utter hostility to the lessons of chivalry and honour1 with which ,i had been familiarised from my earliest infancy4 ,there might be cases1 in which this restraint laid by a father upon his child would be salutary4 ,but the idea which had occasioned the secession of ,charles1 was decisive in this instance4 ,what right had ,i to chain him to dishonour8 ,the whole bent of his education had been1 to impress him with the feelings by which he was now actuated4 ,if ,i detained him for a short time1 was there any vigilance on earth that could finally prevent him from executing a purpose upon which his whole soul was resolved8 ,or1 suppose there were1 must not the consequence be to break his spirit1 to deprive him of all manliness and energy1 and to render him the mere drooping and soulless shadow of that conspicuous hero ,i had been anxious to make him8 ,it might be said indeed1 that this was the determination of a boy1 formed in an hour1 and that1 if ,i detained him only long enough for deliberation and revisal1 he would of his own accord retract so desperate a project4 ,but ,i felt that it was a resolution formed to endure1 and was built upon principles that could not change so long as an atom of his mind remained4 ,no2 ,i was rather disposed to say1 however grievous was the wound he inflicted on me1 ,go1 my son6 ,act upon the dictates of your choice1 as ,i have acted on mine6 ,i admire your resolution1 though ,i cannot imitate it4 ,your purpose is lofty and godlike2 and he that harbours it1 was not born to be a slave4 ,be free2 and may every power propitious to generosity and virtue smooth your path through life1 and smile upon your desires6 ,the anguish ,i felt for having lost my son1 and in this painful and reproachful manner1 was not diminished to me either by society or amusement4 ,i dared not go out of my house4 ,i saw no one but my own attendants4 ,i had not the courage to meet the aspect of a human creature4 ,i knew not how far persons in ,dresden might have heard the injurious reports which occasioned the flight of my son1 or even have been acquainted with the nature of that flight4 ,i had promised to see ,coligny again2 but1 alas6 the affair which had at first led me to wish to see him1 was now at an end4 ,i had no heart to seek him2 nor indeed did ,i know what story ,i was to tell him1 or how ,i was to remove the suspicions he had urged against me4 ,the machine of human life1 though constituted of a thousand parts1 is in all its parts regularly and systematically connected2 nor is it easy to insert an additional member1 the spuriousness of which an accurate observation will not readily detect4 ,how was ,i to assign a source of my wealth different from the true1 which would not be liable to investigation1 and1 when investigated1 would not be seen to be counterfeit8 ,this indeed is the prime source of individual security in human affairs1 that whatever any man does1 may be subjected to examination1 and whatever does not admit of being satisfactorily accounted for1 exposes him whom it concerns to the most injurious suspicions4 ,this law of our nature1 so salutary in its general operation1 was the first source of all my misfortunes4 ,i began now seriously to consider what judgment ,i was to pass upon the bequests of the stranger4 ,were they to be regarded as a benefit or a misfortune8 ,ought they to be classed with the poisoned robe of ,nessus1 which1 being sent as a token of affection1 was found1 in the experiment1 to eat into the flesh and burn up the vitals of him that wore it8 ,should ,i from this instant reject their use1 and1 returning to the modes of life established among my fellow men1 content myself with the affection of those with whom ,i had intercourse1 though poverty and hardships mingled with the balm8 ,the experiment ,i had made of these extraordinary gifts was a short one2 but how contrary were all the results ,i had arrived at1 from those ,i looked for8 ,when the stranger had appeared six months before at the cottage of the lake1 he had found me a poor man indeed1 but rich in the confidence1 and happy in the security and content1 of every member of my family4 ,i lived in the bosom of nature1 surrounded with the luxuriance of its gifts and the sublimity of its features1 which the romantic elevation of my soul particularly fitted me to relish4 ,in my domestic scene ,i beheld the golden age renewed1 the simplicity of pastoral life without its grossness1 a situation remote from cities and courts1 from traffic and hypocrisy1 yet not unadorned with taste1 imagination1 and knowledge4 ,never was a family more united in sentiments and affection4 ,now all this beauteous scene was defaced6 ,all was silence1 suspicion1 and reserve4 ,the one party dared not be ingenuous1 and the other felt that all the paradise of attachment was dwindled to an empty name4 ,no questions were asked2 for no honest answer was given or expected4 ,though corporeally we might sit in the same apartment1 in mind a gulf1 wide1 impassable1 and tremendous1 gaped between us4 ,my wife pined in speechless grief1 and1 it was to be feared1 had sustained a mortal blow4 ,my son1 my only son1 a youth of such promise that ,i would not have exchanged him for empires1 had disappeared1 and1 as he had solemnly protested1 for ever4 ,my heart was childless3 my bosom was bereaved of its dearest hope4 ,it was for him principally that ,i had accepted1 that ,i had rejoiced in the gifts of the stranger4 ,my darling vision was to see him clothed in the harness1 surrounded with the insignia1 of a hero4 ,there was nothing ,i so earnestly desired as that his merits1 graced with the favours of fortune1 might cause him to stand confessed the first subject of ,france2 a situation more enviable than that of its monarch1 since he who holds it is raised by deeds1 and the other only by birth2 and if less respected by interested courtiers1 is certain to be more honoured by the impartial voice of history4 ,but1 if ,i felt thus desolate and heartbroken for the loss of my son1 what would be the sentiments of his mother1 more susceptible to feel1 and1 in her present weakness of spirits1 less vigorous to bear1 than myself1 when the dreadful tidings should be communicated to her8 ,yet ,i could not resolve to renounce donations which ,i had so dearly appropriated4 ,i held it to be a base and cowardly to surrender gifts so invaluable1 upon so insufficient an experiment4 ,he1 ,i thought1 must be a man of ignoble and grovelling spirit1 who could easily be prevailed on to part with unbounded wealth and immortal life4 ,i had but just entered the vast field that was opened to me4 ,it was of the nature of all great undertakings to be attended with difficulties and obstacles in the commencement1 to present a face calculated to discourage the man that is infirm of purpose4 ,but it became my descent1 my character and pretensions1 to show myself serene in the midst of storms4 ,perseverance and constancy are the virtues of a man4 ,affairs of this extensive compass often prove in the issue the reverse of what they seemed in the outset4 ,the tempest might be expected to disperse1 difficulties to unravel themselves1 and unlooked-for concurrences to arise4 ,all opposition and hostile appearance give way before him who goes calmly onward1 and scorns to be dismayed4 ,,chapter ,,xix4 ,it was thus that ,i spurred myself to persist in the path upon which ,i had entered4 ,having remained some time at ,dresden1 flattering myself with the hope that ,charles might yet join me before ,i quitted that city1 ,i began to think of once more turning my steps towards the residence of my family4 ,this was no cheerful thought2 but upon what was ,i to determine8 ,i had a wife whom ,i ardently loved1 and three daughters the darlings of my heart4 ,because ,i had lost a beloved son was ,i to estrange myself from these8 ,i already felt most painfully the detachment and widowhood to which ,i was reduced1 and ,i clung with imperious affection to what remained of my race4 ,the meeting ,i purposed must be a melancholy one2 but1 in the sorrows of the heart there is a purer and nobler gratification than in the most tumultuous pleasures where affection is silent4 ,i looked forward indeed to scenes of endless variety and attraction1 but in the mean time what seemed first to demand my attention was the beloved circle ,i had left behind in the city of ,constance4 ,i retraced1 upon the present occasion1 the route ,i had lately pursued with my son4 ,how different were now my sensations6 ,my heart was then indeed painfully impressed with the variance and dissolution of confidence that had arisen between me and his mother4 ,it was perhaps principally for the sake of banishing this impression that ,i had had recourse to the splendour of equipage and attendance which was first assumed upon the journey from ,constance to ,dresden4 ,nor1 frivolous as this expedient may appear in the unattractive dispassionateness of narrative1 had it been by any means weak of effect at the time it was employed4 ,when ,charles was once mounted on his proud and impatient steed1 and decorated in rich and costly attire1 ,i felt1 as it were1 the sluggishness of my imagination roused2 ,i surveyed his shape and his countenance with inexpressible complacence2 and already anticipated the period when he was to become the favourite of his sovereign and his country's pride4 ,now ,i returned with the same retinue2 but the place that had been occupied by my son was empty4 ,i sought him with frantic and restless gaze2 ,i figured him to my disturbed and furious imagination1 till the sensations and phantoms of my brain became intolerable2 ,i raved and imprecated curses on myself4 ,i endeavoured to divert my thoughts by observing the scenes that passed before me4 ,they talked to me of ,charles2 they had been pointed out by each to each1 and had been the subject of our mutual comment4 ,though ,charles was endowed with a high relish for the beauties of nature1 and1 in our little retreat on the borders of the lake1 had lived in the midst of them1 he had seen little of the variety of her features2 and the journey we made through the heart of ,germany had furnished him with continual food for admiration and delight4 ,nor did the scenes ,i beheld merely remind me of the sensations they produced in ,charles2 they led me through a wider field4 ,i recollected long conversations and digressive excursions which had been started by the impression they made4 ,i recollected many passages and occurrences to which they had not the slightest reference1 but which1 having arisen while they constituted the visible scene1 were forcibly revived by its re-appearance4 ,thus1 from various causes1 my lost and lamented son was not a moment out of my thoughts during the journey4 ,while ,i continued at ,dresden1 ,i seemed daily to expect his return2 but no sooner did ,i quit that city than despair took possession of my heart4 ,thus1 anxious and distressed1 ,i arrived at ,prague1 and soon after at ,ratisbon4 ,i travelled slowly1 because1 though ,i was desirous of returning to ,constance1 ,i anticipated my arrival there with little complacence4 ,as ,i drew nearer to my family1 ,i felt more distinctly the impossibility of presenting myself before them1 without first endeavouring to take off the shock they would sustain at seeing me return without my son4 ,i therefore resolved to send forward a servant from ,ratisbon1 whom ,i directed to make all practicable speed1 as ,i designed to wait for an answer he should bring me at the city of ,munich4 ,to attempt to write to ,marguerite on this subject was a severe trial to me4 ,the whole however that ,i proposed to myself was1 to remove the surprise which would be occasioned by seeing me alone1 and to anticipate questions that it would be impossible for me to hear without anguish of mind and perturbation of countenance4 ,i therefore took care to express myself in such terms as should lead ,marguerite to believe that ,i had voluntarily left her son in ,saxony1 and that in no very long time he would rejoin his family4 ,i trusted to subsequent events to unfold the painful catastrophe1 and could not prevail on myself to shock her maternal feelings so much as ,i must necessarily do1 if ,i informed her of the whole at once4 ,charles had not been mentioned but in ordinary terms and the accustomed language of affection1 in the letters ,i had recently received from ,constance2 and ,i was therefore convinced that he had neither gone to that place1 nor had conveyed thither any account of his proceedings4 ,the answer ,i received from ,marguerite by my messenger was as follows3-- 8,your absence has been long and critical1 and the welfare of your daughters seems to require that we should rejoin each other as speedily as may be4 ,whether we should meet here or at any other place you must determine4 ,it is1 however1 right ,i should inform you that1 during your absence1 rumour has been busy with your reputation4 ,what the extent or importance of the ill reports circulated of you may be1 ,i am scarcely competent to judge4 ,we have lived in uniform privacy1 and it is natural to suppose that the portion of censure that has reached us is but a small part of what really exists4 ,the mode in which you have proceeded1 and the extraordinary figure you have made in a progress through ,germany1 have given weight to these insinuations4 ,but it is not my intention to comment on what you have done4 8,you appear to design that ,i should understand you have left my son behind you in ,saxony4 ,poor ,charles6 ,i had a letter from him three weeks ago1 in which he informs me of what has happened1 and apologises in the most pathetic terms for any seeming want of regard to me in his conduct1 at the very moment that his heart bleeds for my fate4 ,i did not think it necessary to communicate this circumstance to you4 ,i have done with complaining4 ,now that ,i have fallen into the worst and most unlooked-for misfortunes1 ,i have a gratification that ,i do not choose to part with1 in shutting up my sorrows in my own breast4 8,oh1 ,charles6 my son1 my idol6 ,what is become of you8 ,for what calamities are you reserved8 ,he tells me it is necessary that ,i should never see or hear of him again4 ,never--,i--his mother6--,reginald1 there are some wounds that we may endeavour to forgive2 but they leave a sentiment in the heart1 the demonstrations of which may perhaps be restrained1 but which it is not in nature wholly to subdue4 ,if ,i did but know where to find or to write to my poor boy1 ,i would take my girls with me1 and partake his honest and honourable poverty1 and never again join the shadow of him who was my husband4 ,forgive me1 ,reginald6 ,i did not intend to say this4 ,if ,i should prove unable to control the impatience of my grief1 do not inflict the punishment of my offence on your innocent daughters6 8,as to your fiction of voluntarily leaving him behind for further improvement1 it corresponds with every thing you have lately attempted to make me believe4 ,i no longer expect truth from you4 ,for seventeen years ,i had a husband4 ,well1 well6 ,i ought not perhaps to repine4 ,i have had my share of the happiness which the present life is calculated to afford4 8,reginald6 ,i have not long to live4 ,when ,i tell you this1 ,i am not giving way to melancholy presentiment4 ,i will exert myself for the benefit of my girls4 ,they will have a grievous loss in me2 and for their sake ,i will live as long as ,i can4 ,but ,i feel that you have struck me to the heart4 ,my nights are sleepless2 my flesh is wasted2 my appetite is entirely gone4 ,you will presently be able to judge whether ,i am deceiving myself4 ,the prospect for these poor creatures1 who are at present all my care1 is a dismal one4 ,i know not for what they are reserved2 but ,i can hope for nothing good4 ,when ,i am dead1 remember1 and be a father to them4 ,i ask nothing for myself2 ,i have no longer any concern with life2 but1 if my dying request can have weight with you1 make up to them the duty you have broken to me4 ,by all out past loves1 by the cordiality and confidence in which we have so long lived1 by the singleness and sincerity of our affection1 by the pure delights1 so seldom experienced in married life1 that have attended our union1 ,i conjure you listen to me and obey me in this40 ,if ,i were deeply distressed for the loss of my son1 if ,i looked forward with a mingled sensation of eagerness and alarm to the approaching interview with my family1 it may easily be imagined that this letter formed a heavy addition to my mental anguish4 ,i confess ,i thought it a cruel one4 ,marguerite might well suppose1 that the departure of ,charles was a circumstance ,i must strongly feel2 and she should not have thus aggravated the recent wounds of paternal grief4 ,some allowance1 however1 was to be made for a mother4 ,when we are ourselves racked with intolerable pain1 that certainly is not the time at which we can rationally be expected to exert the nicest and most vigilant consideration for another4 ,add to which1 she was innocent of the calamities she suffered1 and could not but know that ,i was their sole author4 ,but1 whatever may be decided as to the propriety of the letter1 its effect upon my mind was eminently salutary4 ,i instantly determined on the conduct it became me to pursue4 ,i lost not a moment4 ,from ,dresden to ,munich ,i had advanced with slow and unwilling steps2 from ,munich to ,constance ,i proceeded as rapidly as the modes of travelling and the nature of the roads would permit4 ,i left my retinue at the gates of the town1 and flew instantly to the apartments of my family4 ,i hastened up stairs1 and1 as ,i entered the sitting-room1 ,i saw the first and most exemplary of matrons surrounded by her blooming daughters4 ,i instantly perceived a great alteration in her appearance4 ,her look was dejected2 her form emaciated2 her countenance sickly and pale4 ,she lifted up her eyes as ,i entered1 but immediately dropped them again1 without any discernible expression1 either of congratulation or resentment4 ,i embraced my children with undescribable emotion2 ,i said within myself1 the love and affection ,i had reserved for ,charles shall be divided among you1 and added to the share you each possess of my heart6 ,having saluted them in turn1 ,i addressed myself to ,marguerite1 telling her that ,i must have some conversation with her instantly4 ,my manner was earnest3 she led the way into another apartment4 ,i felt my heart overflowing at my tongue4 8,i am come to you10 cried ,i1 8a repenting prodigal4 ,take me and mould me at your pleasure60 ,she looked up4 ,she was struck with the honest fervour of my expression4 ,she answered in almost forgotten terms1 and with a peculiar fulness of meaning1 8,my husband60--,it seemed as if the best years and the best emotions of our life were suddenly renewed4 8,most adorable of women60 ,i continued3 8do you think ,i can bear that you should die1 and ,i your murderer8 ,no man in any age or climate of the world ever owed so much to a human creature as ,i owe to you2 no woman was ever so ardently loved6 no woman ever so much deserved to be loved6 ,if you were to die1 ,i should never know peace again4 ,if you were to die the victim of any miscalculation of mine1 ,i should be the blackest of criminals60 8,reginald60 replied she1 8,i am afraid ,i have been wrong4 ,i am afraid ,i have written harshly to you4 ,you have a feeling heart1 and ,i have been too severe4 ,forgive me6 it was the effect of love4 ,affection cannot view with a tranquil eye the faults of the object beloved40 8,let them be forgotten6 ,let the last six months be blotted from our memory1 be as though they had never existed60 ,she looked at me4 ,her look seemed to say1 though she would not give the sentiment words1 that can never be2 the loss of ,charles1 and certain other calamities of that period1 are irretrievable6 8,i resign myself into your hands6 ,i have been guilty2 ,i have had secrets2 meditations engendered and shut up in my own bosom2 but it shall be so no more6 ,the tide of affection kept back from its natural channel1 now flows with double impetuousness4 ,never did ,i love you1 not when you first came a virgin to my arms1 not on the banks of the ,garonne1 not in the cottage of the lake1 so fervently1 so entirely1 as ,i love you now6 ,be my director2 do with me as you please6 ,i have never been either wise or virtuous but when ,i have been implicitly guided by you6 8,i have wealth2 ,i am forbidden by the most solemn obligations to discover the source of that wealth4 ,this only ,i may not communicate2 in all things else govern me despotically6 ,shall ,i resign it all8 ,shall ,i return to the cottage of the lake8 ,shall ,i go1 a houseless and helpless wanderer1 to the farthest quarter of the globe8 ,speak the word only1 and it shall be done6 ,i prefer your affection1 your cordial regard1 in the most obscure and meanest retreat1 to all that wealth can purchase or kings can give60 8,reginald1 ,i thank you6 ,i acknowledge in your present language and earnestness the object of my first and only love4 ,this return to your true character gives me all the pleasure ,i am now capable of receiving4 ,but it is too late ,my son is lost2 that cannot be retrieved4 ,your reputation is blasted2 ,i am sorry you are returned hither2 ,constance is in arms against you1 and ,i will not answer for the consequence4 ,for myself2 ,i grieve to tell you so2 ,i am ashamed of my weakness2 but--my heart is broken6 ,i loved you so entirely1 that ,i was not able to bear any suspension of our confidence4 ,i had passed with you through all other misfortunes1 and the firmness of my temper was not shaken4 ,for this one misfortune1 that seemed the entire dissolution of our attachment1 ,i was not prepared4 ,i feel1 every morning as ,i rise1 the warnings of my decease4 ,my nights are sleepless2 my appetite is gone from me40 8,oh1 ,marguerite1 talk not thus2 distract me not with the most fatal of images6 ,our confidence shall return2 all the causes of your malady shall be removed6 ,with the causes1 the symptoms1 depend on it1 will disappear4 ,your youth1 your tranquillity1 your happiness1 shall be renewed6 ,oh1 no1 you shall not die6 ,we will yet live to love and peace60 8,flatter not yourself with vain hopes1 my love6 ,i feel something wrong within me1 which is rapidly wearing my body to decay4 ,reconcile your mind to what very soon must happen6 ,prepare yourself for being the only parent to your remaining offspring6 ,i have composed my spirit1 and calmly wait my fate4 ,you have now administered to me the only consolation ,i aspired to1 by this return to your true character1 which affords me a sanguine hope that you will faithfully discharge the duty to your offspring1 which1 when ,i am gone1 will be doubly urgent on you40 ,i was grieved to see that the mind of ,marguerite was so deeply impressed with the notion that she had but a short time to live4 ,i could not bear to imagine for a moment that her prognostic was just4 ,the thought seemed capable of driving me to distraction4 ,i however conceived that the best thing that could be done for the present1 was to turn the conversation to some other topic4 8,well1 well1 my love60 ,i answered4 8,there are some things that are immediately pressing4 ,direct me1 direct a husband so amply convinced of your discretion1 what ,i am to do at present6 ,shall ,i instantly annihilate all that has made this unfortunate breach between us2 shall ,i resign my wealth1 from whatever source derived8 ,whither shall we go8 ,shall we return to the cottage of the lake8 ,shall we retreat into some distant part of the world80 8,how can you expect me10 said ,marguerite1 faintly smiling1 8to advise you respecting the disposal of a wealth1 of the amount of which ,i am uninformed1 and the source of which is invisible8 ,but ,i guess your secret4 ,the stranger who died your guest was in possession of the philosopher's stone1 and he has bequeathed to you his discovery4 ,i have heard of this art1 though ,i confess ,i was not much inclined to credit it4 ,i do not ask you to confirm my conjecture3 ,i do not wish that you should violate my engagements into which you have entered4 ,but1 upon putting circumstances together1 which ,i have been inevitably compelled to do1 ,i apprehend it can be nothing else4 ,i am astonished that a conjecture so obvious should have offered itself to my mind so late4 8,if your wealth is of any other nature1 ample as it apparently is1 it is a natural question to ask1 to whom is it to be resigned8 ,the ordinary wealth of the world is something real and substantial1 and can neither be created nor dissipated with a breath4 ,but if your wealth be of the kind ,i have named1 let me ask1 is it possible to resign it8 ,a secret is a thing with which we may choose whether we will become acquainted2 but1 once known1 we cannot become unacquainted with it at pleasure4 ,your wealth1 upon my supposition1 will always be at your beck2 and it is perhaps beyond the strength of human nature to refuse1 under some circumstances1 at least in some emergencies1 to use the wealth which is within our reach4 8,it has been our mutual misfortune that such an engine has been put into your hands4 ,it has been your fault to make an indiscreet use of it4 ,gladly would ,i return to the tranquil and unsuspected poverty of the cottage of the lake4 ,but that is impossible4 ,you have lost your son2 you have lost your honest fame2 the life of your ,marguerite is undermined and perishing4 ,if it were possible for us to return to our former situation and our former peace1 still1 my ,reginald6 forgive me if ,i say1 ,i doubt the inflexibleness of your resolution4 ,the gift of unbounded wealth1 if you possess it1 and1 with wealth1 apparently at least1 distinction and greatness1 is too powerful a temptation4 ,nor1 though ,i should trust your resistance1 could ,i be pleased in a husband with the possession of these extraordinary powers4 ,it sets too great a distance between the parties4 ,it destroys that communion of spirit which is the soul of the marriage-tie4 ,a consort should be a human being and an equal4 ,but to this equality and simple humanity it is no longer in your power to return4 8,circumstanced then as we now are1 the marriage union1 you must allow me to say1 irreparably dissolved1 your son lost1 your fair fame destroyed1 your orphan daughters to be provided for1 ,i know not if ,i should advise you to forget the prerogative that has been bought for you at so dreadful a price4 ,beside1 if ,i am not mistaken1 there are great trials in reserve for you4 ,i am afraid your present situation is extremely critical4 ,i am afraid the suspicions you have excited will cost you dear4 ,at all events ,i believe it to be but a necessary precaution that we should fly from ,constance4 ,i have nothing therefore to recommend to you on the subject of wealth1 but discretion4 ,i shall not long live to be your adviser4 ,i shall always regard the donation you have received1 you cannot wonder that ,i should so regard it1 as one of the most fearful calamities to which a human being can be exposed4 ,if you had used your prerogative with discretion1 you might perhaps1 though ,i confess ,i do not see how1 have escaped the obloquy of the world4 ,into your domestic scene1 where the interest is more lively1 and the watch upon you more unremitted1 it must have introduced alienation and distrust4 ,as it is1 ,i see you surrounded with dangers of a thousand denominations4 ,police has its eyes upon you2 superstition will regard you as the familiar of demons2 avarice will turn upon you a regard of jealousy and insatiable appetite4 ,if ,i could recover from the weakness that at present besets me1 and continue to live1 ,i foresee more and severer trials1 both at home and abroad1 than any ,i have yet sustained2 and ,i am almost thankful to that ,providence which has decreed to take me away from the evil to come4 8,one thing further let me add4 ,i will speak it1 not in the character of a censor1 but a friend4 ,it must ever be right and useful1 that a man should be undeceived in any erroneous estimate he may make of himself4 ,i have loved you much2 ,i found in you many good qualities2 my imagination decorated you in the virtues that you had not2 but you have removed the veil4 ,an adept and an alchemist is a low character4 ,when ,i married you1 ,i supposed myself united to a nobleman1 a knight1 and a soldier1 a man who would have revolted with disdain from every thing that was poor-spirited and base4 ,i lived with you long and happily4 ,i saw faults2 ,i saw imbecilities4 ,i did not see them with indifference2 but ,i endeavoured1 and with a degree of success1 to forget and to forgive them2 they did not contaminate and corrupt the vitals of honour4 ,at length you have completely reversed the scene4 ,for a soldier you present me with a projector and a chemist1 a cold-blooded mortal1 raking in the ashes of a crucible for a selfish and solitary advantage4 ,here is an end of all genuine dignity1 and the truest generosity of soul4 ,you cannot be ingenuous2 for all your dealings are secrecy and darkness4 ,you cannot have a friend2 for the mortal lives not that can sympathise with your thoughts and emotions4 ,a generous spirit1 ,reginald1 delights to live upon equal terms with his associates and fellows4 ,he would disdain1 when offered to him1 excessive and clandestine advantages4 ,equality is the soul of real and cordial society4 ,a man of rank indeed does not live upon equal terms with the whole of his species2 but his heart also can exult1 for he has his equals4 ,how unhappy the wretch1 the monster rather let me say1 who is without an equal2 who looks through the world1 and in the world cannot find a brother2 who is endowed with attributes which no living being participates with him2 and who is therefore cut off for ever from all cordiality and confidence1 can never unbend himself1 but lives the solitary1 joyless tenant of a prison1 the materials of which are emeralds and rubies6 ,how unhappy this wretch6 ,how weak and ignoble the man that voluntarily accepts these laws of existence60 ,in the advice of ,marguerite ,i saw that sound wisdom and discernment1 by which in all the periods of our connection she had been so eminently characterised4 ,with her views of the future ,i was not disposed to accord4 ,i regarded them as obscured and discoloured by the unfortunate state of her health4 ,i could not indeed refuse to believe that the prerogative ,i had received had been the parent of much domestic unhappiness4 ,willingly would ,i have resigned all that ,i had derived from the stranger1 to be replaced in the situation in which his pernicious legacies had found me4 ,he had robbed me of my son2 he had destroyed my domestic peace2 he had undermined the tranquillity and health of the partner of my life4 ,these calamities pressed with a heavy and intolerable weight at my heart4 ,but1 if1 as ,marguerite affirmed1 they were irretrievable1 or if they could once be removed1 and the domestic advantages ,i had heretofore enjoyed be restored1 ,i was not disposed to fear those external mischiefs which ,marguerite so feelingly predicted4 ,i could not believe that ,i should have such a league of foreign enemies to encounter1 nor could ,i easily image to myself any external evils which it was not in the power of gold to remedy4 ,these considerations ,i urged to my beloved partner1 and by enforcing them endeavoured to remove those gloomy apprehensions1 from the prevalence of which ,i feared much injury to her health4 ,there was another circumstance ,i was led particularly to insist on2 ,i mean the nature of the secret intrusted to me4 8,i admire your discernment and ingenuity1 ,marguerite10 said ,i1 8in your conjecture respecting the source of my wealth4 ,i admire your delicacy in not pressing me to decide upon the truth of your conjecture4 ,this only ,i must be permitted to say on that subject4 ,it is a secret2 and you will perceive that the same reasons1 whatever they are1 which make that secret obligatory on me1 require that it should be respected by you4 ,the same evils that my own indiscretion may draw on me1 ,i shall be equally exposed to by any error or miscalculation of yours4 ,i have therefore most earnestly and solemnly to conjure you1 whatever misfortunes may hereafter befall me1 in whatever perilous situation ,i may be involved1 that you will never utter a syllable on this subject2 and that1 as ,i am the selected depository of this secret1 and alone know with certainty what is its nature1 you will trust our prosperity in this point to me40--,marguerite engaged to conduct herself as ,i desired4 ,the night which succeeded this explanation1 was particularly soothing and grateful to me4 ,i was relieved from a great and oppressive burthen4 ,i was conscious of that particular species of pleasure which arises from the resolute discharge of an heroic duty4 ,the peace ,i felt within shed its gay and reviving beams upon all around me4 ,reconciled to myself1 ,i was filled with sanguine and agreeable visions of the future4 ,my mind obstinately rejected all dark and hateful presages4 ,i had intrusted myself and the direction of my conduct1 as far as it was possible1 to that better pilot1 under whose guidance1 if ,i had not avoided the rocks and quicksands of life1 ,i had at least escaped with little comparative injury4 ,i felt therefore as if my domestic enjoyments were restored1 and the pleasures of my better years were about to run over again their auspicious career4 ,not so ,marguerite4 ,she was mild1 gentle1 and soothing4 ,displeasure and resentment towards me were banished from her mind4 ,she endeavoured to conquer her melancholy1 and to forget the wounds that had been so fatal to her hopes4 ,but her endeavours were fruitless4 ,a fixed dejection clung to her heart3 nor could the generous sweetness that pervaded her manners hide from me entirely what was passing in her bosom4 ,during this interval we had talked over the plan of our future operations4 ,marguerite was exceedingly urgent with me to quit ,constance2 nor did ,i1 though not impressed with her presentiments1 feel any reluctance to that change of scene1 which1 ,i believed1 would materially contribute to the serenity of her mind and the restoration of her health4 ,we determined on some of the cities of ,italy as the next place of our residence1 and1 fixed1 if possible1 to set out some time in the next day or the day after4 ,the plan of proceeding to ,france1 which had lately been a favourite with me1 was a favourite no longer4 ,that had been the project of cheerful and wanton prosperity4 ,it had had for its object the re-establishment of my family honours1 and the elevation of my son4 ,now my son was lost1 my wife was oppressed with languor and disease1 my house was overwhelmed with sorrow4 ,this was no time for wantonness and triumph4 ,if ,i could ever hope to resume the plans my frolic fancy had sketched1 an interval at least of soberer hue must first be suffered to elapse4 ,my mind at this time sustained a revolution sufficiently remarkable1 but of which the urgency of events that immediately succeeded prevented me from ever ascertaining whether it would have proved temporary or permanent4 ,when ,i first received the donation of the stranger1 my thoughts1 as ,i have already said1 were in a state of enthusiastic transport2 and1 amidst the golden visions in which my fancy revelled1 ,i became in a considerable degree alienated from domestic sentiments and pleasures4 ,if ,i still loved my wife and children1 it was the love of habit rather than sympathy2 more an anxiety for their prosperous success in the world1 than an earnest craving for their presence and intercourse4 ,this state of intoxication and rapture had now subsided4 ,the events of the few last weeks had sobered my thoughts4 ,having lost my son1 and being threatened with the loss of his mother1 ,i was roused to a sense of their value4 ,the influx of wealth and supernatural gifts had grown familiar to my mind1 and now only occupied the back-ground of the picture4 ,i was once more a man1 and ,i hoped to partake of the privileges and advantages of a man4 ,the fate reserved for these hopes will speedily be seen4 ,some readers will perhaps ask me why1 anxious as ,i was for the life of ,marguerite1 and visible as was the decline of her health1 ,i did not administer to her of the elixir of immortality which was one of my peculiar endowments4 ,such readers ,i have only to remind1 that the pivot upon which the history ,i am composing turns1 is a mystery4 ,if they will not accept of my communication upon my own terms1 they must lay aside my book4 ,i am engaged in relating the incidents of my life2 ,i have no intention to furnish the remotest hint respecting the science of which ,i am the depository4 ,that science affords abundant reasons why the elixir in question might not1 or rather could not1 be imbibed by any other than an adept4 ,,chapter ,,xx4 ,the morning after my return to my family1 as ,i sat surrounded with my girls1 and endeavouring to make myself their playmate and companion1 certain officers of justice belonging to the supreme tribunal of the city entered my apartment4 ,they were sent1 as they informed me1 to conduct me to prison4 ,my blood at this intelligence mounted into my face4 8,to prison80 cried ,i--8wherefore8--what have ,i done8--,i am no citizen of your state4 ,what is the charge against me8 ,lead me not to prison3 lead me to your chief magistrate60 8,you will be called up for examination1 when his honour is at leisure to hear you3 in the mean time you must go to prison40 8,do those who sent you know that ,i am a native and a gentleman of ,france8 ,they will be made to repent this insolence4 ,upon what pretence do they dare to act thus80 8,you will please not to talk of insolence to us4 ,if you do not demean yourself quietly----0 8,silence1 fellow60 answered ,i fiercely4 8,lead the way60 ,by this time the children1 astonished at a scene so alarming and unintelligible to them1 began to express their terror in various ways4 ,julia1 who was ready to faint1 occupied the attention of her mother4 ,the little ,marguerite clung round my knees1 and expressed her emotions by shrieks and cries4 ,to see her father about to be torn from her by four strangers1 the peculiarity of whose garb of office aggravated the rudeness of their countenances and the peremptoriness of their behaviour1 was a spectacle which the affectionateness of her nature was unable to endure4 8,i will go with you presently10 said ,i to the officers4 8,see1 how you have terrified the children60 8,nay1 sir1 if you will behave civilly1 and make it worth our while1 we do not desire to hurry you40 ,i was stung with the brutal assurance with which they thus set the liberty of a few moments at a price to me4 ,but ,i checked my impatience4 ,i felt that it would be both foolish and degrading to enter into contention with such wretches4 ,i turned from them proudly1 and took my child in my arms4 8,i will not be long gone1 my love60 said ,i4 8,these people have made a mistake1 and ,i shall soon be able to rectify it40 8,i fancy not10 muttered one of them surlily4 8,they shall not take you away1 papa2 that they shall not6 ,i will hold you1 and will not let you go60 8,you are a good girl1 ,marguerite6 ,but ,i know best what is proper1 and you must not think to control me4 ,the men will not do me any harm1 child2 they dare not4 ,perhaps ,i shall be back to dinner1 and mamma will then tell me how good you have been40 ,as ,i spoke1 she looked steadfastly in my face2 and then1 flinging her arms round my neck1 cried1 8,good-by1 papa60 and burst into a flood of tears4 ,i embraced the other children and their mother2 and1 saying to the latter significantly1 8,fear nothing2 you know ,i have nothing to fear60--departed with my conductors4 ,the way to the citadel lay through the market-place4 ,the scene was already crowded2 and ,i had the mortification to be led along as a criminal1 in the midst of a thousand gazing eyes and enquiring tongues4 ,new as every thing connected with my present situation was to me1 ,i had not anticipated this vexation4 ,i was stung with shame and impatience4 8,to my dungeon60 said ,i to my conductors sternly4 8,if you had shown yourself better humoured10 cried the most brutal of them1 8we would have led you round by the back way40 ,the master of the prison was somewhat less a savage than his officers4 ,he knew my person1 and had heard of my wealth4 8,does monsieur choose the best apartment80 said he4 8,any where that ,i can be alone60 answered ,i hastily4 ,he hesitated a moment4 ,i looked in his face3 8,oh1 yes1 you will be paid60 ,he bowed1 and showed me to a room4 ,i shut the door as he retired4 ,what had happened to me was of little importance in itself4 ,the impertinence of bailiffs and thief-takers is of no more real moment than the stinging of a gnat4 ,but ,i was so utterly unacquainted with scenes of this nature6 ,the pride of rank that swelled within me made every appearance of restraint galling to my sense4 ,from the instant ,i was able to write1 man1 no one1 except in the voluntary compact of military service1 had ever said to me1 ,go there6 or1 ,do this6 ,and now1 was ,i to be directed by the very refuse of the species8 ,was ,i to learn the prudence of not replying to their insults8 ,was ,i to purchase1 at a stipulated price1 their patience and forbearance8--,i request the reader to pardon me for troubling him with my noviciate feelings3 ,i soon learned to understand the world--the world of a prison--better6 ,but1 what was of more importance1 ,i was apprehended as a criminal3 ,i had been dragged a prisoner of justice through the streets of ,constance2 ,i was1 by and by1 to be subjected to the interrogatories of the municipal tribunal4 ,i could scarcely credit my senses1 that such an indignity had happened to the blood of ,st4 ,leon4 ,it is true1 ,i was innocent4 ,i was conscious1 whatever might be my imprudences and offences towards my own family1 that ,i had done nothing to merit the animadversion of public justice4 ,but this was of no consequence4 ,nothing1 in my opinion1 could wipe away the disgrace of being interrogated1 examined6 of having for an instant imputed to me the possibility of being a criminal6 ,i writhed under this dishonour1 and felt it as a severer attack than the question1 which was comparatively of ceremony and etiquette1 that had oppressed me in my residence at ,dresden4 ,the next day1 when ,i was brought up for examination1 ,i had expected to be the complainant1 in demanding redress for the injury ,i had sustained4 ,but ,i was mistaken4 ,i entered the room haughtily1 and with the air of a man that felt himself aggrieved4 ,of this however the magistrate took no notice4 8,do you know1 sir10 said ,i1 8that ,i am a citizen and a gentleman of ,france8 ,are you acquainted with the treatment ,i have experienced8 ,have you lent your authority to that treatment80 8,wait a few minutes10 replied he with an imperious tone1 8and ,i shall be at leisure to attend to you40 ,i was silent4 ,after the interval of nearly a quarter of an hour1 he resumed-- 8,you call yourself the count de ,st4 ,leon60 8,i do40 8,perhaps1 sir1 you are uninformed of the purity with which justice is administered in the city within whose jurisdiction you now stand4 ,our state is a small one1 and its magistrates are therefore enabled to discharge the office of a parent1 not only to its proper citizens1 but to all strangers that place themselves under its protection40 8,i remember1 sir1 that seven years ago1 ,i and my wife and four children1 sick and unfriended1 were upon the point of perishing with hunger within the walls of this city60--,the fact ,i mentioned was wholly foreign to the point with which ,i was at present concerned2 but the parading arrogance of the man brought it forcibly to my memory1 and wrung it from my lips4 8,monsieur le comte10 replied he1 8you are petulant4 ,it is not the office of a state to feed the souls it contains2 it could not do that without making them slaves4 ,its proper concern is to maintain them in that security and freedom of action1 which may best enable them to support themselves40 ,i suppressed the emotions which the tone of this speech excited4 ,i was unwilling to enter into contention with a man whom ,i regarded as inexpressibly my inferior4 8,is it10 cried ,i sternly1 8a part of the justice you boast of1 to drag a man of rank and a stranger from his home1 without any intimation of the cause of his being so treated1 and then1 instead of investigating immediately the charge against him1 to send him to prison unheard8 ,i disdain to mention the behaviour of your officers3 those things naturally grow out of the abuses practised by their superiors40 8,the mode of our proceeding10 replied he1 8depends upon the seriousness of the crime imputed4 ,if a man of distinction labours under a slight accusation only1 we then treat him with all proper forbearance and respect4 ,but1 when he is suspected of a crime of more than ordinary magnitude1 that alters the case4 ,the man who has ceased to respect himself1 must look for no respect from others40 ,i was for a moment thunderstruck and speechless4 ,at length fiercely ,i cried1 8,produce my accusers60 8,that is not the mode of proceeding in ,constance4 ,i have certain questions to propound to you4 ,when you have answered them1 we shall see what is to be done next40 8,carry me before the prince-bishop of your city6 ,if ,i am to be examined further1 let it be by your sovereign60 8,the prince-bishop1 moved by the state of our affairs in matters of religion1 has been prevailed on to delegate his juridical authority4 ,i am the person to whom the cognisance of your business belongs2 and at certain times1 aided by my assessors1 have the power of life and death within this city4 ,you have had every indulgence to which you are entitled1 and it will be your wisdom to be no further refractory40 8,propose your questions60 8,a person1 apparently greatly advanced in years1 arrived in the autumn of last year at a miserable farm you at that time cultivated1 called the ,cottage of the ,lake4 ,it is to him that my questions will principally relate40 ,i stood aghast4 ,the words of the magistrate were most unwelcome sounds4 ,i remembered that the stranger had said to me1 8,when ,i am once buried1 speak of me1 and1 if possible1 think of me no more40 ,i replied with eagerness and alarm-- 8,of that person ,i have nothing to say4 ,spare your questions3 ,i have no answer to return you60 8,what was his name80 8,i know not40 8,his country80 8,i cannot inform you40 8,it is understood that he died1 or in some manner disappeared1 while under your protection4 ,yet in the registers of the church there is no notice of that event4 ,if he died1 no application was made for the rites of religion to him dying1 or to his body when his spirit had deserted it4 ,you are required to answer1 what became of him or his remains80 8,i have already told you1 that from me you will obtain no information40 8,one question more1 sir4 ,seven years ago1 you tell me1 you and your family were perishing with hunger4 ,soon after1 you removed from obscure lodgings in this city to the cottage of the lake1 and seemed to be laudably employed in earning for yourself a scanty livelihood with the labour of your hands4 ,but within the last six months the scene is wholly changed4 ,you appear to have suddenly grown rich1 and here1 and in other parts of ,germany1 have actually disbursed considerable sums4 ,whence comes this change80 ,the train of questions thus proposed to me1 impelled me to a serious reply4 8,monsieur le juge10 said ,i1 8,i am a stranger1 a native of ,france1 and a man of rank in my own country4 ,i have paid your state the compliment of choosing it for my residence4 ,i have expended my industry1 ,i expend my wealth among you4 ,i have comported myself as a peaceable inhabitant4 ,no action of my life has brought scandal upon your state1 or disturbed the peace and tranquillity of your affairs4 ,i cannot collect from any thing you have said1 that ,i have any accuser1 or that any charge has been alleged against me4 ,till that happens1 ,i cannot fall under your animadversion4 ,i am a man of generous birth and honourable sentiments4 ,to myself and my own conscience only am ,i accountable for my expenditure and my income4 ,i disdain to answer to any tribunal on earth an enquiry of this sort4 ,and now1 sir1 in conclusion1 what ,i demand of you is1 first1 my liberty2 and secondly1 an ample reparation for the interruption ,i have sustained1 and the insults to which ,i have causelessly been exposed40 8,you are mistaken1 sir10 said the magistrate4 8,what you mention may be the rule of administering justice in some states4 ,they may decide1 if they think proper1 that some open act1 apparently of a criminal description1 must be alleged against a man1 before he can become an object of animadversion to the state4 ,but in ,constance1 as ,i have already told you1 the government assumes to act the part of a parent to its subjects4 ,i sit here1 not merely to investigate and examine definite acts1 but as a censor morum2 and ,i should violate the oath of my office1 if ,i did not lend a vigilant attention to the behaviour and conduct of every one within my jurisdiction4 ,the city of ,constance requires that nothing immoral1 licentious1 or of suspicious character1 shall be transacted within its walls4 ,your proceedings have escaped notice too long2 much longer than they would have done but for your late absence4 ,in cases where what is committed is merely immoral or licentious1 we content ourselves with sending the offender out of our walls4 ,but your case is of a complicated nature4 ,it has scandalised all the inhabitants of our virtuous and religious city4 ,unless you answer my enquiries1 and give a clear and satisfactory account of your wealth1 ,i am bound to believe that there is something in the business that will not bear the light4 ,the coincidence of times obliges me to connect the disappearance of your guest1 and the sudden growth of your fortune4 ,this connection gives rise to the most alarming suspicions4 ,i have therefore to inform you that1 unless you honourably clear up these suspicions by the most ample communication1 my duty directs me to remand you to prison1 and to assure you that you will not be liberated thence till you have satisfied the whole of my interrogatories40 8,think deliberately10 answered ,i1 8of your decision before you form it4 ,your prisons ,i despise2 but ,i will not suffer my reputation and my honour to be trifled with4 ,i came before you willingly1 though ,i could easily have avoided doing so2 because ,i was eager to clear my fame4 ,i expected accusers1 and ,i knew ,i could confound accusation4 ,but what is this that you call justice8 ,you put together circumstances in your own mind3 you form conjectures2 and then1 without information1 accuser1 or oath1 without the semblance of guilt1 you condemn me to prison1 and expect to extort from me confession4 ,in defect of articles of charge ,i disdain to answer3 the only return a man of honour should make to loose conjectures and random calumnies is silence4 ,i am descended from a race of heroes1 knights of the cross1 and champions of ,france2 and their blood has not degenerated in my veins4 ,i feel myself animated by the soul of honour1 and incapable of crime4 ,i know my innocence1 and ,i rest upon it with confidence4 ,your vulgar citizens1 habituated to none but the groveling notions of traffic and barter1 are not the peers of ,st4 ,leon1 nor able to comprehend the views and sentiments by which he is guided40 8,you are mighty well-spoken1 monsieur ,st4 ,leon10 replied the magistrate1 8and your words are big and sounding2 but we know that the devil can assume the form of an angel1 and that the most infamous and profligate character can pronounce with emphasis sentiments of the purest virtue4 ,you are pleased to decide that the presumptions against you are nothing but calumnies4 ,is it nothing that1 having received a stranger and retained him with you for months1 you endeavoured to conceal this fact1 and never suffered him to be seen by a human creature8 ,is his final disappearance nothing8 ,is it nothing that1 supposing him to be dead1 as he probably is1 you denied to his remains the rites of funeral1 and refuse to tell what is become of the body8 ,is it nothing that1 upon the death of this stranger1 you1 who were before in a state almost of penury1 suddenly appear to be possessed of unbounded riches8 ,where is the will of this stranger8 ,in what archives have you deposited the declaration of his wealth8 ,let me tell you1 sir1 that these presumptions1 which you call nothing1 form a body of circumstantial evidence that1 in many countries1 would have led you to the scaffold as a murderer4 ,but the laws of ,constance1 which you audaciously revile1 are the mildest in the universe4 ,here we never put a man to death but on his own confession4 ,we simply condemn him to perpetual imprisonment1 or until he makes a declaration of his guilt4 ,you refuse to declare the name or country of the man whom you are suspected of murdering1 and then have the assurance to boast that no private accuser rises against you4 ,no1 sir1 we know there can be no private accuser1 where the connections of the party can be successfully concealed4 ,but shall this concealment1 which is an aggravation of the murder1 prove its security8 ,in conclusion1 you boast of your blood and heroic sentiments1 and rail at our citizens as shopkeepers and merchants4 ,let me tell you1 sir1 shopkeepers and merchants though we are1 we should scorn to conduct ourselves in the obscure and suspicious manner that you have done4 ,and1 now ,i have taken the trouble to refute your flimsy pretences1 which it was wholly unnecessary for me to do1 ,i have done with you4 ,you know your destination1 unless you are prepared immediately to give a satisfactory account of yourself and your proceedings40 ,finding it impossible to make on this man the impression ,i desired1 ,i declined entering into further parley2 and1 telling him that ,i should convey a representation of my case to my native sovereign1 and did not doubt soon to make him feel the rashness of his proceeding1 ,i withdrew1 in the custody of the officers who had conducted me to the scene of audience4 ,i was1 ,i confess1 struck with the coincidence of circumstances1 which the magistrate had placed in a fight equally unexpected and forcible1 and which ,i now saw calculated to subject me to the most injurious suspicions4 ,i was not disposed in the smallest degree to yield to the attack1 but ,i felt a desire to act deliberately and with caution4 ,the whole of what ,i had heard was utterly unforeseen1 and it was with peculiar anguish that ,i became aware of this new consequence of the stranger's pernicious donation4 ,this was a consequence that no resignation1 no abjuration of his bequests could cure2 and that must be stood up to with manly courage1 if any hope were entertained of averting it4 ,,chapter ,,xxi4 ,the appearance of wealth that accompanied me had by this time made its impression upon my keepers2 and one of them now informed me1 that monsieur ,monluc1 an agent of the court of ,france1 who was making a tour of several of the ,german states by order of his sovereign1 had arrived the night before at the city of ,constance4 ,there was no representative of my country regularly resident here1 and ,i immediately felt the presence of ,monluc to be the most fortunate event that could have occurred for effecting my honourable deliverance4 ,selfishness and avarice1 it may be thought1 would rather have impelled the persons who had me in custody to conceal from me a circumstance calculated to deprive them of an advantageous prey4 ,but in those groveling souls from whom riches never fail to extort homage1 however strange it may seem1 the homage often appears disinterested4 ,they pay it by a sort of irresistible instinct2 and1 admiring what they covet1 at an awful distance1 with difficulty assume the courage to pollute their worship with ideas of calculation and gain4 ,i immediately addressed a memorial to this gallant soldier1 with whose person indeed ,i was unacquainted1 but the fame of whose spirit and enterprise had not failed to have reached me4 ,i represented to him that ,i was a ,frenchman of family and distinction2 that ,i had been seized upon and was retained in prison by the magistrates here1 without accuser or the hope of a trial2 that ,i had not been guilty of the shadow of a crime2 and that ,i knew the benignity and courage of my sovereign would never permit a subject of ,france to languish under calumny and oppression in a foreign country4 ,i added1 that he would do an acceptable service to king ,francis1 to whom ,i had the honour to be known1 by interfering in my favour2 and therefore entreated him to obtain for me immediate justice and deliverance4 ,monluc returned me an answer by the bearer of my memorial1 assuring me that he would lose no time in enquiring into the merits of my case1 and that ,i might depend upon receiving every assistance from him that a man of honour could desire4 ,the warmth and frankness of this answer filled me with hope1 for there was no deliverance from my present situation that ,i could contemplate with satisfaction1 but such a one as should be accompanied with reparation and clat4 ,three days however elapsed before ,i heard again from the ,french envoy4 ,on the morning of the fourth he announced his intention of visiting me2 and1 about an hour after1 arrived at the prison4 ,his appearance was striking4 ,he was tall1 slender1 and well made1 with a freedom of carriage1 not derived from the polish of courts1 but which appeared to flow from the manliness and active energies of his mind4 ,his hair and complexion were dark2 the former1 though he was still young1 rather scantily shaded a high and ample forehead4 ,his features were expressive of the sanguine and adust temper of his mind2 and1 though his eye was animated1 his countenance1 as he entered1 struck me as particularly solemn4 8,you are the count de ,st4 ,leon80 said he4 8,i am40 8,you sent me a memorial a few days ago complaining of the tribunal of this city3 ,i am afraid1 sir1 ,i can do nothing for you40 ,my countenance fell as he spoke2 ,i gasped for breath4 ,i had conceived a most favourable anticipation as he entered1 and my disappointment was particularly cruel4 ,i had said in my heart1 ,this is the very man to rescue my injured fame4 8,i see1 sir1 you are disappointed10 resumed he4 8,i have not given up the affair3 if ,i had1 this visit1 which ,i design as a mark of attention1 would be an insult4 ,the moment ,i received your memorial1 ,i paid the utmost regard to it4 ,if the affair had been as you represented it1 ,i know ,i could not do any thing more acceptable to my sovereign than interfere in your behalf4 ,i have spent the whole interval in investigating the case4 ,i have seen the magistrate who committed you2 ,i have visited the spot where your crime is alleged to have been perpetrated2 ,i have had an interview with your wife40 8,well1 sir10 cried ,i1 alarmed and impatient--8well1 sir1 and the result80 8,appearances are uncommonly strong against you3 they can scarcely he stronger4 ,but you have a right to be heard2 it is for the sake of discharging that last act of justice that you see me this morning40 8,great ,god60 exclaimed ,i1 overwhelmed with chagrin1 8is if possible that my countryman1 the man to whom ,i was proud and happy to appeal1 the gallant ,monluc1 should believe me a murderer8 ,i swear by every thing that is sacred1 by the blood of him that died for me on the cross1 and by my eternal salvation1 that ,i am as innocent as the child unborn60 8,i am glad to hear you express yourself with this emphasis and fervour4 ,i cannot but say that to my own feelings it has great weight4 ,but ,i must not suffer myself as a man1 and still less in the public capacity in which ,i stand1 to be overcome and confounded by your asseverations4 ,there is a connected and most unfavourable story against you3 this it is incumbent on you to clear up40 8,and you say1 you have seen my wife80 ,i was distracted and overwhelmed by ,monluc's way of putting the question4 ,i was divided between my anxiety to be justified1 and the solemn mystery of the affair to which his enquiries led2 and ,i probably spoke thus from an unconscious desire to gain time4 8,yes1 that is another presumption in your favour4 ,madame de ,st4 ,leon is perhaps the most striking and extraordinary woman ,i ever saw4 ,of the husband of such a woman1 especially when he appears to be the object of her attachment1 ,i should be always inclined to think well4 ,madame de ,st4 ,leon pleaded for you with earnestness and affection4 ,but1 amidst all her ardour1 ,i could perceive that she felt there was something mysterious and unpleasant in the affair1 that she was unable to develope40 ,as ,monluc spoke1 ,i saw that ,i had failed in one of the main anchors of my hope4 ,i thought that no one could have talked with my beloved ,marguerite1 and have left her with the opinion that ,i was a murderer4 ,how did this happen8 ,was she lukewarm and unfaithful in my vindication8 8,what she10 continued my countryman1 8,i could see1 was not only unable to explain1 but did not fully understand1 it is you alone can clear2 the concealment of the stranger1 his disappearance1 what became of the body1 and your own sudden transition from poverty to wealth40 ,i was by this time fully sensible of the nature of my situation4 ,i summoned my fortitude2 ,i felt that ,i had no longer any hope but in the dignity of innocence4 8,you call on me for explanation10 replied ,i4 8,can you not conceive1 gallant ,monluc1 that ,i may be able to resolve your doubts1 and yet that ,i will not8 ,explanation is not the business of a man of honour4 ,he cannot stoop to it4 ,he will win the applause and approbation of mankind1 if won1 in silence4 ,he will hold on the even course of a generous spirit1 and turn neither to the right nor to the left1 to court the suffrage1 or deprecate the condemnation of a giddy multitude4 ,such1 my brave countryman1 have been the maxims of my past life2 such will be the maxims of my future40 8,i admire10 answered ,monluc1 8at least the gallantry of these sentiments1 though ,i may be inclined to doubt their prudence4 ,but1 if such is your determination1 permit me to say1 you have no concern with me4 ,he who resolutely withholds explanation1 must arm himself with patience1 and either wait the operation of time1 or rest satisfied with the consciousness of his innocence40 8,and is that all8 ,will there not be some noble spirits1 who1 separating themselves from the herd1 will judge of him by what they feel in their own breasts1 and be drawn to him with an irresistible impulse8 ,was it not natural that ,i should expect ,monluc to be one of these8 ,it would be hard indeed1 if he who disdains to temporise with popularity1 and to vindicate himself from the ungenerous constructions of sordid minds1 should not by that very proceeding secure the friendship and sympathy of those1 whose friendship it will be most grateful to him to possess40 8,the friends of an innocent man1 whom a combination of circumstances has exposed to the most painful suspicions1 must always be few4 ,he can scarcely expect the acquittal and sympathy of a stranger4 ,i must know1 ,i must have felt and observed in a man a thousand virtues1 before ,i can be entitled to treat accumulated presumptions against him as nothing40 8,and thus then are to end my hopes in ,monluc8 ,he does not feel that ,i am innocent8 ,he does not recognise in me the countenance1 the voice1 the turn of thought1 of a brother1 a man no less incapable than himself of every thing disgraceful and ignominious8 ,be it so6 ,i will1 as you advise me1 rest upon the consciousness of my innocence4 ,a ,frenchman1 the descendant of illustrious ancestors1 long an exile1 long the victim of adversity1 but at all times conscious of the purity of my sentiments and the integrity of my conduct1 ,i will not suffer myself to be overwhelmed with this last desertion1 this ultimate refusal of justice60 8,count de ,st4 ,leon6 your appeal is full of energy4 ,in whatever way ,i decide1 it will leave an unpleasant sensation in my breast4 ,let us suppose that1 as a private man1 ,i could take you to my arms1 and dismiss every unfavourable appearance from my mind4 ,you must remember that ,i am here in a public character1 and that only in a public character am ,i capable of affording you assistance4 ,thus situated1 ,i am bound to resist the impulses of a romantic and irregular confidence1 and to do nothing of which ,i shall not be able to render a clear and intelligible account4 8,let us not part thus6 ,it is not the vindication of your character to the world1 with which we are at present concerned4 ,it is only necessary that you should furnish a sufficient ground to justify me to myself for interfering in your behalf4 ,explain to me the particulars of your case1 in confidence if you will1 but fully and without reserve4 ,i will not abuse your confidence4 ,i will make no use of your communication1 but such as you shall yourself approve4 ,only enable me to have a reason for acting1 that is not merely capable of being felt1 but that ,i may know is in its own nature capable of being stated to another4 ,it is upon me that you call to take certain measures2 you must enable me to judge of their propriety4 8,you are mistaken when you suppose the appearances against you to be slight4 ,it is not a slight circumstance1 that you profess to be ignorant of1 or have refused to disclose1 the country1 the connections1 and even the name of the stranger whom you so anxiously concealed4 ,the disappearance of his body is still more extraordinary4 ,what intelligible motive1 except a guilty one1 can ,i assign for that8 ,but your sudden wealth immediately after this disappearance1 is especially material4 ,it is a broad and glaring fact1 that men cannot shut their eyes on1 if they would4 ,the chain and combination of events1 that proceeds systematically from link to link1 is the criterion of guilt and the protector of reputation4 ,your case1 as it now stands1 is scarcely to be termed equivocal3 upon the supposition of your criminality all is plain and easy to be accounted for2 upon any other supposition it appears an inscrutable mystery4 ,place but the balance even2 present to me an exposition of these facts1 that shall make your innocence not less probable than your guilt2 and1 as ,i feel myself interested for you and your family1 and as the presumption1 when matters are doubtful1 ought always to be on the favourable side1 ,i consent to be your friend60 8,how unfortunate10 ,i exclaimed1 8am ,i doomed to be6 ,your proposal is liberal and generous2 but ,i must refuse it6 ,my story is an unhappy one3 particulars have been reposed in my fidelity1 which ,i am not at liberty to communicate1 but which1 if communicated1 you would not regard as dishonourable4 ,i may be made the martyr of infamy1 and the abhorrence of my species2 ,i can endure adversity and anguish2 ,i can die2 but that which you demand from me never can be confided to any mortal ear60 8,as you please10 rejoined ,monluc4 8,the secrets of a dead man1 to be preserved after his death1 and that to the ruin of him who is their depository1 must1 ,i believe1 be villanous secrets2 and the secret of a villain no one is bound to observe4 ,you must further give me leave to tell you1 that1 whatever a high-strained sense of honour might dictate in that point1 the fortune you possess is your own affair1 and to dissipate or not the mystery which hangs upon that is wholly at your discretion4 ,but ,i have already advanced as far1 perhaps further1 than circumstances or propriety could justify1 and there can now be no more parley between us40 8,monluc10 cried ,i1 8,i submit6 ,however harsh your decision is as towards me1 however painful and unfortunate its consequences1 ,i will admit it to be that which duty prescribes to you4 ,i struggle1 ,i contend1 no further4 ,one thing only ,i would willingly obtain of you1 that you would interpose your influence to obtain for me the society and intercourse of my family4 ,the transaction of this day will then be remembered by me with respect towards you1 and a melancholy regret that ,i could not entitle myself to your esteem4 ,i shall recollect with pleasure that ,i owe something to the generosity of ,monluc40 8,incredible pertinacity60 exclaimed my visitor1 with a voice of perplexity and astonishment4 8,what am ,i to conceive of you8 ,under what appearance shall ,i consider you in the records of my memory8 ,your silence is the indication of guilt1 and in that indication ,i ought to acquiesce4 ,yet the fortitude of your manner1 and something1 ,i know not what1 of emotion1 that your manner produces in my own bosom1 would fain persuade me you are innocent4 ,why will you leave me a prey to this contention of thought8 ,if all men1 constituted as ,i am1 were to feel in you1 as it were1 the magnetism of innocence1 shame1 the simple inference of understanding1 and the general sense of mankind1 would oblige them to treat you as guilty4 ,what ,i can however1 be assured ,i will cheerfully do for you4 ,i cannot deliver you from prison1 but ,i will not fail to obtain the mitigation you ask4 ,farewell60 ,such was the issue of my interview with ,monluc4 ,it was clear that my reputation was wounded beyond the power of remedy4 ,while the question had only been of a magistrate1 haughty1 supercilious1 insolent and unfeeling1 ,i flattered myself that the harshness of the conclusions that were drawn1 might be ascribed to the depravity of his character4 ,but ,monluc was the reverse of this man4 ,he was not less generous and heroic than the magistrate was gross and illiberal4 ,his desire to relieve me was not less apparent than the magistrate's eagerness to oppress4 ,yet his conclusion was the same1 and was felt by me so much the more bitterly1 in proportion to the humanity1 the kindness1 the intrepidity1 and the virtue1 of the man from whom it flowed4 ,virtue and vice1 barbarism and refinement1 were equally engaged in the concert against me1 and there was no chance ,i should triumph in a contention with so many enemies4 ,i might now be said to have reached the end of my adventure3 ,i had closed one grand experiment upon the donation of the stranger4 ,what had it produced to me8 ,not one atom of the benefits ,i anticipated2 not a particle of those advantages which a little while ago had made the intoxications of my waking dreams4 ,its fruits had been distasteful and loathsome4 ,whether ,i looked to my person1 my family1 or my fame1 ,i had felt in all the miserable effects of this treacherous and delusive gift4 ,my person was shut up in prison2 and ,i was now to make an experiment whether1 by clandestine and secret proceedings1 wealth could restore to me the liberty of which wealth had deprived me4 ,my family was blasted2 my wife was struck to the heart1 and no mortal skill could restore the wound she had suffered2 my son was gone unaided into voluntary exile1 that he might shun the contagion of my follies2 what was ,i to do with the poor remains of my house1 forlorn1 dejected1 and wretched8 ,the wound my good name had received1 was of the most decisive species4 ,when ,i first encountered contumely at ,dresden1 and was called on for explanation by ,coligny1 the difficulties of my condition struck anguish to my soul4 ,but what were they1 compared with what had now overtaken me8 ,i was charged with robbery and murder1 with every thing that combines the whole species against the perpetrator1 and determines them1 without sense of compunction1 to extirpate him from the face of the earth4 ,perhaps it was only by the courtesy of the laws of this state1 that ,i was permitted my choice between an ignominious death and perpetual imprisonment4 ,i might possibly indeed escape from my confinement2 ,i might pass into a distant country2 ,i might be fortunate enough to cut off all connection between my past and my future life1 and thus enter upon a new career4 ,but this to a man of honourable mind is a miserable expedient4 ,with what feelings does he recollect1 that there is a spot where his name is abhorred1 where a story is told against him to excite the wonder of the ignorant1 and the torpid feelings of the sluggish soul1 a story to darken with new infamy the records of guilt1 and to infect the imagination of the solitary man with nameless horrors8 ,to be the theme of such a tale1 is no common evil4 ,no matter how far the man to whom it relates1 shall remove from the detested spot2 the spot itself with all its chain of circumstances1 will often recur2 the voices that repulsed and humbled him will ring in his ear2 the degraded figure he made will rise for ever fresh to his imagination4 ,he cannot ascend to any free and lofty sentiment2 he cannot attain the healthful tone of unblemished virtue2 wherever he goes1 he carries the arrow of disgrace in his bosom1 and1 when he would erect his head on high1 it reminds him of the past1 and stings him to the heart4 ,if the consciousness of all this would have been painful to any other man1 what was it to me1 who had been brought up from my infancy in the opinion that fame was the first of all human possessions1 and to whom honour and an unimpeached integrity had ever been more necessary than my daily food1 or than the life which that food supported8 ,what would ,i not have given could ,i have returned to the situation in which the inauspicious arrival of the stranger had found me8 ,but that was impossible4 ,if all that ,i had recently passed through could but have proved a dream1 if ,i could have awakened and freed myself from the phantoms of this horrible vision1 how happy beyond all names of happiness should ,i by such an event have been made6 ,what a lesson would it have taught me of the emptiness and futility of human wishes6 ,what a sovereign contempt would it have impressed upon me for wealth and all its train of ostentation6 ,how profound a feeling of contentment with humble circumstances and a narrow station would it have produced in my mind6 ,alas1 the conception of those advantages and that peace was the illusion1 and not the evils ,i had sustained1 and from which ,i could not escape6 ,,chapter ,,xxii4 ,meanwhile it was necessary that ,i should make the best of the present circumstances4 ,my heart was wounded2 my spirit was in a manner broken2 but not so utterly withered and destroyed as to make me rest supine in perpetual imprisonment4 ,i felt with equal conviction and pungency that my character and my happiness had sustained the deepest injuries2 but ,i felt it incumbent on me to collect and improve the fragments that remained4 ,for some days indeed after the conference with ,monluc1 ,i was sunk in the deepest dejection4 ,but1 as that dejection subsided1 ,i began to turn a steady attention upon the future4 ,i recollected that an eternal and inexhaustible gift deserved to be made the subject of more than one experiment1 before a decision was formed upon its merits4 ,i shall become wiser1 said ,i1 as ,i go forward4 ,experience1 however bitter1 will teach me sagacity and discrimination4 ,my next experiment shall be made with more prudence and a soberer gradation4 ,i will remove to some distant country1 where the disadvantages of my past adventures shall not follow me4 ,i will take a new name4 ,i shall then enjoy the benefit of a tyro just entering a scene1 to all the personages of which he is wholly unknown4 ,i shall be like a serpent that has stripped its tarnished and wrinkled skin1 and comes forth in all the gloss and sleekness of youth4 ,surely1 in an unknown land1 with the prejudice of wealth in my favour1 and no prejudices against me1 ,i shall know how to conduct myself so as to obtain honour and respect4 ,it is impossible that inexhaustible wealth and immortal youth1 gifts so earnestly coveted by every creature that lives1 gifts which if ,i were known to possess1 my whole species from the mere impulses of envy would probably combine to murder me1 as not able to endure the sight of one so elevated above his brethren1--it is impossible that such gifts should not be pregnant with variety of joy4 ,marguerite greatly contributed to raise me from the dejection1 into which my imprisonment and the conference of ,monluc had sunk me4 ,she was my better genius4 ,i had been so accustomed to receive consolation from her lips in the most trying circumstances1 that now the very sound of her voice was able to smooth my wrinkled brow1 and calm my agitated spirit4 ,i listened as to the sound of an angelic lyre2 ,i was all ear2 ,i drank in the accents of her tongue2 and1 in the dear delight1 my cares were hushed1 and my sorrows at an end4 ,she talked to me of her daughters1 whom she represented as about to have no protector but their father2 she urged me to watch over them1 and to take such steps as should most conduce to their future virtue and happiness2 she pointed out the practicability of escape1 and recommended to me to fly to some distant country3 the dreams of future prosperity from the gifts of the stranger were not hers2 they were all my own4 ,it was inexpressibly affecting at this time to receive consolation from her1 who had no consolation in her own breast1 who had bid farewell to all the gay attractions of the world1 and talked familiarly of her death as a thing certain to happen in no very long time4 ,she had lost the purest gratifications of the domestic scene2 she had lost her son2 her heart was broken2 yet with her dying accents she sought to dispel retrospect1 and inspire cheerfulness1 in the breast of her husband4 ,the reader may perhaps imagine that ,i was something too sanguine1 when1 surrounded with jailors and all the precautions of a prison1 ,i planned the nature and scene of my next residence exactly as if ,i had been a person at large4 ,but ,i took it for granted that the power of money ,i possessed would easily unlock to me the gates of my captivity4 ,i believed that1 upon the lowest calculation1 personal liberty was clearly included among the gifts of the stranger4 ,impressed with this opinion1 ,i fixed upon a negro1 a servant of the prison1 and who had the keys of my apartment1 as the subject of my pecuniary experiment4 ,the idea of applying to him had perhaps first occurred to me1 from the mere circumstance of my seeing him more frequently than any other attendant of the prison4 ,when ,i thought further of the matter1 ,i judged1 from the meanness of his rank and his apparent poverty1 that ,i could not have chosen better4 ,so far as related to the sum to be paid as the price of my liberty1 it was indeed indifferent to me1 whether it were large or small4 ,i had however suffered so much from the inconsiderate lavishing of wealth1 that ,i had no inclination on the present occasion to make ostentation of more than was necessary4 ,but1 what was of most importance to me1 ,i was desirous that my first experiment should be a successful one4 ,though not unaware of the power of gold1 ,i conceived that1 among persons of middling rank and easier circumstances1 there might be varieties of disposition1 and ,i might be mistaken in my choice4 ,some might have the whim of integrity1 or might place a sturdy sort of pride in showing that they were content with what they had1 and were too high for a bribe4 ,there might be persons who1 though of plebeian rank1 might value reputation as much as ever ,i had done1 and be of opinion that no advance of station could compensate for the name or the consciousness of dishonour4 ,these distinctions may seem an idle and superfluous refinement1 when it is considered that ,i had the power of raising my bribe to the level of any man's honesty or pride1 be it as great as it might2 and it may be thought that my offer might be so increased as to be too dazzling for mortal firmness to resist4 ,be that as it will1 ,i am merely stating the reflections that passed through my mind1 not entering into their vindication4 ,taking the first opportunity then of accosting this man when he was alone with me1 ,i addressed him thus3-- 8,my good friend1 are not you poor80 8,yes1 sir40 8,would not you readily do me a kindness80 8,if my master give me leave1 ,i will40 8,you mistake me4 ,would you be my friend80 8,i do not know what you mean1 sir4 ,i have been used to call the man ,i love my friend4 ,if you mean that1 you know ,i cannot choose whether ,i will be a man's friend2 it comes of itself40 8,can ,i not make you my friend80 8,that is1 make me love you80 ,i was surprised at the propriety of his answers4 ,i am unable at this distance of time to recall the defects of his language3 and ,i disdain the mimic toil of inventing a jargon for him suitable to the lowness of his condition3 the sense of what he said ,i faithfully report4 ,i had before been struck with a certain correctness of thinking in him2 but ,i now examined his countenance more attentively than ,i had ever before done1 and thought ,i could distinctly trace in it the indications of a sound understanding and an excellent heart4 8,i do not know1 sir10 continued he4 8,if ,i see that you are a good man1 ,i believe ,i shall love you4 ,but if it happened that you were good and generous to me1 ,i am sure ,i should love you very much40 8,you are very poor80 8,so they tell me4 ,i never had more than a shilling or two at a time in my life40 8,it is a very sad thing to be poor80 8,why1 yes1 so ,i have heard1 sir4 ,but1 for my own part1 ,i am always merry and gay40 8,my good fellow1 ,i will make you rich40 8,thank you1 sir6 ,but what good will that do me80 8,you are a servant3 ,i will make you a master of servants40 8,now1 that ,i should not like at all4 ,i am merry1 because ,i am light-hearted4 ,if ,i had money1 and property to take care of1 and servants to direct1 ,i am afraid they would make me grave and suspicious1 and in every respect unlike what you see me40 8,is it possible you should be pleased with your present situation1 under the orders of one man in a house1 and obliged to play the tyrant to the rest80 8,why1 as you say1 sir1 there may be more agreeable situations than the life of a jail4 ,but1 as to being under orders1 ,i have no objection to that4 ,i never knew any other condition1 and therefore ,i am contented4 ,it is not pleasant indeed to have a master who is always scolding and dissatisfied2 but the gentleman ,i serve at present is reasonable2 ,i know how to content him1 and1 when ,i have done that1 he leaves me to please myself4 ,you offer me money3 now1 sir1 that is not what ,i call being generous2 ,i count nothing for much1 except when a man shows me has bowels1 and convinces me that he thinks justice due even to a negro4 ,i dare say however you designed it for generosity1 and expected something from me in return4 ,tell me what it is you want1 and whatever ,i can do with propriety1 you may depend on it ,i will40 8,do you approve of a man's being deprived of his liberty80 8,will you please to tell me what you mean by liberty8 ,you offered me just now what you called liberty and independence2 and ,i am content to be a servant40 8,would you be pleased1 instead of being a turnkey1 to have the key turned on yourself80 8,that ,i should not4 ,i understand the disagreeableness of that well enough1 for when ,i first entered this place1 it was as a prisoner40 8,if then1 my good fellow1 you were convinced that ,i was a man disposed to be generous to you in your own way1 and to deserve your attachment and love1 surely you would not refuse to deliver me from a situation which you have yourself felt to be so disagreeable and calamitous40 8,i understand you now1 sir4 ,i have already a master with whom ,i am satisfied1 and ,i do not wish to change my service4 ,when ,i was a prisoner1 he found out that ,i was innocent2 he got me cleared1 and gave me employment4 ,i am put here for the express purpose of seeing the prisoners in safe custody4 ,that is the contract between me and my master4 ,when ,i took the keys1 by that action ,i pledged myself to be faithful to my trust2 and the nobleness of my master's behaviour to me in removing me from being a prisoner to be a free servant1 is a double bond upon my fidelity4 ,i would sooner consent to be torn limb from limb1 than fail in what is expected from me4 ,you may be generous to a harmless stranger2 you have most reason to be generous to a man you love2 but1 if you would heap benefits upon me merely because ,i proved myself a villain1 ,i can only say it would be disgraceful to be the object of your favour40 ,thus saying1 he quitted me1 and withdrew from further parley4 ,the conversation in which we had engaged1 though ,i had had considerable experience in the world1 was altogether new to me1 and overwhelmed me with astonishment4 ,i found in this trial1 that the power of money was subject to limitations1 of which previously ,i had not been in the slightest degree aware4 ,i thought that nothing but the most extraordinary degree of resolution and self-denial could enable a man to resist its enticements2 and ,i had even been told1 though ,i did not believe1 that every man had his price1 and a bribe capable of indefinite augmentation must be in all cases victorious4 ,yet here was a poor creature utterly exempt from its operation4 ,he had no sense of those attractions1 which so often degrade the best1 and convert virtue into the most shameless profligacy4 ,it cost him no effort to be honest1 and he uttered sentiments that would have given lustre to the most heroic character1 without any consciousness of their greatness4 ,what ,i had seen1 led me also to reflect on another singularity ,i discerned in him4 ,in the midst of the admirable1 ,i had almost said the sublime1 integrity he discovered1 7for is it not a criterion of the sublime to be great without an effort87 he was destitute of knowledge1 of intellectual cultivation1 and all those exquisite sensations that most distinguish the man from the brute4 ,he passed on quietly in the road of ordinary life1 and thought not of the ambition to be wise or great1 to be honoured by thousands1 or a benefactor to ages yet unborn4 ,kings might have confessed their inferiority to this man4 ,but is he to be regarded as the model of what a human creature should be wished to be8 ,oh1 no6 ,but the most memorable feeling impressed upon me by this conversation1 was a conviction of what ,i had been backward to confess1 that knaves were the persons to whose assistance and concert ,i must look1 and that ,i must be upon my guard against an honest man4 ,no one was qualified to be my coadjutor1 till he had proved himself unworthy of all just and honourable society4 ,the friend ,i must seek1 was a man whose very soul melted at a bribe1 whom money would seduce to perpetrate whatever his judgment most abhorred4 ,honour and integrity in the most refined and the rudest state1 ,monluc and the negro1 both refused4 ,it is impossible to conceive a sensation more painful and humiliating1 than was this conviction to my mind4 ,i was not long at leisure for these reflections4 ,in a few minutes the master of the prison entered my apartment1 and with him the negro whom ,i had endeavoured to prevail on to assist in restoring me to liberty4 ,the master began to reproach me in very harsh terms for attempting to seduce his servant from his duty1 and asked me what sort of enjoyment or satisfaction a man could have in life1 if he could not depend upon the people he put into his employment8 ,to this ,i answered with sternness1 8that ,i should hold no debate about right and wrong with a jailor2 that he might depend upon it ,i would leave no stone unturned to set myself free1 and1 what was more1 that ,i would be free2 and that1 for his part1 it was his business to keep me if he could1 but not to insult me40 ,i therefore insisted upon his quitting the room4 8,what use10 replied the fellow1 8do you think now there is in putting yourself in a passion8 ,if ,i have not a right to speak to you1 ,i know what ,i have a right to do1 put you in the strong room1 and load you with irons40 ,i turned my back upon him4 8,and how came you10 said ,i to the negro1 8to go and betray me8 ,i should have expected better things of you4 ,if you refused to serve me1 at least you needed not have endeavoured to hurt me40 8,i did nothing but my duty1 sir4 ,i have no wish to hurt you3 but it is my business1 not merely to take care of my master's interests myself1 but to see that they are not injured by any body else4 ,if he was not put on his guard1 you might have been more successful with the next turnkey you endeavoured to bribe40 8,you will find it more to your interest1 monsieur10 interposed the jailor1 8to talk to me than to my servant4 ,you are determined to be free1 you say4 ,if that is the case1 and it is to happen1 who has so good a right to benefit by your resolution as ,i have80 ,my eyes were opened in a moment4 ,i saw that the knave whose rigour and sternness could not hold out against the warmth of a bribe1 the friend of whose assistance ,i was in want1 stood before me4 8,i do not wonder10 proceeded he1 8that you preferred applying to one of my servants4 ,their honesty must be expected to be had at a cheaper market4 ,but1 for my part1 ,i am determined that no man shall ever pass these walls1 without my being the richer4 ,if then your escape is a thing that must happen1 let us see what you can afford to give me for it40 8,dear master10 interposed the negro1 8you surely will not listen to the gentleman's offer4 ,when ,i refused to betray my trust1 it is impossible you should consent to betray yours60 8,hold your tongue1 blockhead60 said the other4 8,do not you see that monsieur is determined to escape8 ,i know he is rich4 ,though you have refused a bribe1 ,i am sure that all your fellows will not4 ,the thing will happen sooner or later in spite of every thing ,i can do2 and there can be no harm in my helping to bring about1 what it is impossible ,i should prevent40 ,a morality like this seems exactly in its place in the breast of a jailor4 ,we had already made some progress in adjusting the terms of our contract1 when the keeper of the prison interposed3-- 8,but1 monsieur1 you will please to remark1 that this is an affair which will be attended with difficulty4 ,whatever passes between you and me must be a secret4 ,your escape will be a thing open and notorious1 and you must have a confederate1 that ,i may not bear the blame of it4 ,you must therefore take my black here along with you1 that his flight may cause all the blame to fall upon him40 8,o1 pray1 master10 said the negro1 8do not part with me6 ,i love you1 and will do any thing in the world1 if you will let me stay4 ,you saved my life for aught ,i know1 and made a man of me again2 you cannot think what good it does me to serve a master that has been so kind to me60 8,get you gone60 replied his owner4 8,you are of no use to me2 you are not fit for a jail2 you are so simple1 ,i cannot tell what to do with you60 8,indeed ,i do not like to go with this gentleman2 it will break my heart4 ,he said he would be generous and kind to me1 if ,i turned a villain2 ,i shall never be able1 and shall never desire to earn his kindness3 but you rewarded me because ,i was innocent4 ,he said he would make a master of me2 and ,i am better as ,i am2 ,i had much rather be a servant40 ,the difficulties of this poor fellow were soon silenced by the peremptoriness of his master4 ,the jailor told him that he would do him a great service1 by thus giving his master an opportunity of representing him as the traitor2 and1 with this consideration1 the negro dried his tears1 and with a reluctant heart consented to accompany me4 ,thus were his exemplary fidelity and affection rewarded6 ,so little do some men seem capable of feeling the value of attachment6 ,the character of the master was a singular one4 ,the meanness and mercenariness of his spirit were unredeemed by a single virtue4 ,he was avarice personified4 ,but he had found or imagined an interest in taking this negro1 who had been want only thrown into prison by a former tyrant1 for his servant2 and this the poor fellow1 in the simplicity of his heart1 had mistaken for an act of exalted generosity4 ,his avarice had swallowed up all his other passions2 and his servants had neither impatience nor insolence to encounter from him3 weighed therefore in the balance of the negro's experience1 he appeared a miracle of mildness and benevolence4 ,our bargain was at length concluded2 and1 the next time ,marguerite came to visit me1 ,i announced to her the success of my negotiation4 ,before we parted1 we sent for the jailor1 and discussed with him the road ,i should take4 ,my purpose was to pass into ,italy2 and ,marguerite undertook by midnight to have every thing prepared to convey us to the foot of the mountains4 ,this point being adjusted1 the keeper of the prison left us2 and1 tenderly embracing ,marguerite1 ,i besought her to congratulate me upon the recovery of my liberty4 ,she had heard however of the infamous nature of the charge against me1 and1 though she yielded it no credit1 ,i could easily perceive that it rendered yet heavier the depression under which she laboured4 ,she returned my embrace2 the tears stole down her cheeks2 but she was silent4 ,i endeavoured to divert her thoughts and re-animate her spirits1 by hinting at the new scenes before us1 and the distant country to which we were about to remove2 but in vain4 8,i will not reproach you1 ,reginald60 said she2 8,i will not desert my duty while ,i have power to perform it2 you may depend upon my doing every thing ,i am able both for the children and yourself60 ,she left me in a very melancholy frame of mind4 ,i had not expected to see her thus languid and disconsolate2 and upon the eve of my liberation1 ,i felt it like caprice4 ,incomparable woman6 ,she was incapable of giving intentional pain3 but1 with her exquisitely susceptible mind1 she was unable to support the dreadful reverse in which ,i had involved her1 or even at times to assume the gestures of cheerfulness and tranquillity2 gestures that1 at the best1 but ill disguised the grief within6 ,i was busily reflecting on what had just occurred1 when the keeper of the prison re-entered my apartment4 8,i am come1 monsieur10 said he1 8to take my leave of you4 ,as ,i do not at all intend to lose my place1 it is not proper that ,i should see you any more4 ,you understand me80 ,two days had already elapsed since the conclusion of our contract1 and ,i had provided myself for this and such other demands as seemed likely to be immediately impending4 ,i should have preferred indeed to have delayed this payment till the moment of my departure3 but what the jailor suggested appeared reasonable2 and ,i could not assign1 even to my own mind1 any cause why ,i should be reluctant to comply with it4 ,i paid to this wretch the price of his villany4 ,i now began to count the hours1 and eagerly to anticipate the arrival of midnight4 ,though the moment of my liberty was so near1 ,i yet contemplated with unspeakable loathing the scene of my confinement1 which was associated with the deepest disgrace and the blackest charges that are incident to a human creature4 ,i felt as if1 in proportion as ,i removed from the hated spot1 ,i should at least shake off a part of the burthen that oppressed me1 and grow comparatively young again4 ,time was far from moving indeed with the rapidity my impatience required2 but the hour of appointment at last was near1 and ,i expected every moment the faithful negro to appear1 and announce to me my freedom4 ,the cathedral bell now sounded twelve2 ,i heard the noise of steps along the gallery2 and presently a key was applied to the door of my apartment4 ,it opened2 and three persons1 whom ,i knew for servants of the prison1 entered4 8,come1 sir10 said one of them2 8you must follow me40 8,where is my friend the negro80 said ,i4 8,ask no questions2 speak never a word2 but come40 ,it was strange that the master of the prison1 whose temper was so full of anxiety and caution1 should unnecessarily trust three of his people1 who might easily have been kept ignorant of this hazardous secret6 ,this circumstance however did not strike me at first so strongly as it ought to have done4 ,i had perfect confidence in his fidelity to his profligate bargain1 and expected every moment to meet the negro who was to be my guide4 ,my conductors led me by a way which ,i soon perceived did not lead to the ordinary entrance of the prison4 8,where are we going80 said ,i4 8,hold your tongue1 or you will spoil all20 replied one of them roughly4 ,i bethought me that there might be an objection to the dismissing me by the public gate2 ,i recollected to have heard that there were several subterranean outlets to the citadel2 ,i judged from the words ,i had just heard that my conductors were acquainted with the plan that had been formed2 and for all these reasons ,i proceeded with tolerable ease and security4 ,i was not much longer however permitted to doubt4 ,i was conducted to one of the dungeons of the prison1 and told that there ,i was to remain4 ,at first ,i remonstrated loudly1 and told them 8that ,i had been promised my liberty1 and not a treatment like this40 8,we know that1 sir10 replied they1 8and that is the reason you are brought here4 ,it is our business to teach you that the greatest offence that can be committed by a man in prison is to attempt to escape40 ,the shock and surprise that so unexpected an issue to my adventure produced1 rendered me outrageous4 ,i was no longer able to control my fury2 and1 without knowing what ,i proposed1 ,i knocked down two of my attendants before they had an opportunity to secure me1 and rushed up the flight of steps by which we had descended4 ,the third however contrived to intercept me2 and1 while we struggled1 the other two came to his assistance4 ,they loaded me with fetters and chained me to the wall4 ,i was then left in utter darkness4 ,i felt myself sore with the bruises ,i had received in the contest2 but what was infinitely worse1 ,i found the expectations of freedom ,i had so confidently entertained1 baffled and disappointed4 ,marguerite and my children were at this moment waiting for me to join them4 ,they would probably wait hour after hour in vain4 ,to what cause would they attribute my failing of my appointment8 ,to what cause was ,i myself to attribute my miscarriage8 ,my hopes in this instance had been in the utmost degree sanguine2 what was ,i to count upon for the future8 ,was money useless in every instance in which mankind agreed to think its power unquestionable8 ,what was the source of the present catastrophe and the harsh treatment ,i endured8 ,was the keeper of the prison discovered1 and dismissed from his office8 ,had the negro gone and given information against him8 ,i formed a thousand conjectures as to what might have happened2 but ,i was unable to rest in any4 ,i had remained about twelve hours in this situation1 full of angry and disconsolate thoughts1 when the principal jailor entered my dungeon4 ,i looked at him with astonishment2 the cloud vanished from my understanding1 and ,i began to comprehend the solution of the enigma4 8,are you at large80 cried ,i1 with indignation3 8why then am ,i here80 8,you are here by my orders40 8,execrable villain60 said ,i4 8,did you not promise me my freedom8 ,have you not received the price of it8 ,how dare you show yourself in my presence80 ,as ,i spoke1 ,i shook my chains1 ,i clenched my fists1 ,i trembled with resentment and rage4 8,if you are not perfectly quiet and reasonable10 said he1 8,i shall leave you to your fate and return no more40 ,nothing is more singular in a state of great mental effervescence1 than the rapidity with which our ideas succeed each other4 ,at such times we seem to think more in minutes than at other times in hours4 ,i felt how miserable a slave a man is1 the moment he falls completely into the power of another4 ,the wretch who stood before me was more vacant of human affections than any one ,i ever saw4 ,yet ,i was his creature1 to be moulded as he pleased4 ,a thousand injuries he could inflict upon me1 for which neither the institutions of society nor the extraordinary endowments ,i derived from the stranger could afford a remedy4 ,he might so torture my mind and baffle my wishes1 as to kill in me every spark of lofty adventure and generous pride4 ,my liberty might1 for aught ,i knew1 be for years at his disposal4 ,i felt however that my best course was to regard him with contempt1 and use him as ,i would a spade or a file1 to execute my purposes1 without suffering him to awaken my passions4 ,i immediately grew more calm1 and he perceived the revolution of my sentiments4 8,you seem to wonder10 continued he1 8that ,i did not keep my engagement with you8 ,i pride myself upon being superior to the prejudices1 by which other men are frightened1 like children with a bugbear4 ,i have therefore no rule but my interest3 and ,i did not see how my interest bound me to keep my engagement with you40 8,and what became of the countess80 8,i neither know nor care4 ,i suppose she stayed all night under the walls2 ,i knew she durst not disturb the prison40 ,i felt ,i had still emotions to suppress4 ,i curbed my tongue1 but they showed themselves in my eyes4 8,how do you intend to dispose of me80 8,keep you in close custody4 ,i have got your thousand pounds2 the next thing for me to take care of is1 that ,i do not lose my place40 8,and for what purpose do you come to me now80 8,why to tell you a secret1 ,i have not quite determined what conduct to pursue1 and therefore ,i came here that ,i might have a better opportunity of judging40 8,are you not afraid that ,i should inform the government how you have cheated me80 8,you inform6 ,have not ,i got you under lock and key8 ,i warrant you1 ,i will take care what goes out of these walls to the government40 8,the countess has a licence to visit me40 8,what care ,i for that8 ,i can keep her at bay as long as ,i will4 ,she will not easily go to the government2 and she is not such a fool as not to know1 that to lodge a complaint against me1 is not the way to procure the liberty of a man condemned to perpetual imprisonment4 ,i can at any time trump up a story of your attempting to corrupt the turnkeys1 and be sure1 when ,i do1 ,i will not want for proofs4 ,that will cover any thing ,i can do to annoy you1 and answer any accusation you can make against me4 ,do you think that the word of a jailor will not be taken1 before that of the murderer he has in custody80 8,i can bring your own servants as witnesses1 three of whom assaulted me last night40 8,dunce1 do you think ,i trusted them with my secret8 ,they have nothing to tell1 and apprehend nothing but a plot between you and my black1 who has been put into the penitentiary for his offence4 ,he is my only confident2 and ,i trust him1 because his stupidity answers to me for his faith40 8,suppose ,i were to double the bribe for which you sold me my liberty1 what security should ,i have that you would abide by your bargain80 8,oh1 if you were to do that1 it would alter the case40 8,might you not then detain the money1 and defy me1 as you have done now80 8,suppose that a thing which might happen3 can you help yourself8 can you do better80 ,i saw there was no remedy1 and ,i was constrained to allow the success of this twofold perfidy4 ,it was with an ill grace1 and an attempt at sullenness and indifference1 that the jailor accepted my proposal4 ,the second thousand however had irresistible charms2 and1 in spite of himself1 the sensation that made his heart dance1 relaxed his muscles1 and played about his mouth4 ,he was puzzled what to think of me4 ,the facility with which ,i produced the sums he demanded1 with less apparent effort than they might have come from a duke or a sovereign prince1 startled and staggered him4 ,he had still his qualms1 and evidently doubted whether he should not raise his price a third time4 ,i saw no safety but in pertinacity and firmness1 and had the good fortune ultimately to check his doubtful1 half-formed experiments4 ,i was led by the accidents which have just been related1 into further and deeper reflections on the power of money1 as well as on the nature of the situation in which ,i found myself placed by the legacy of the stranger4 ,my present experiment had been made upon a subject apparently the most favourable that could have been devised1 upon a man whose breast the love of gold occupied without a rival3 yet with this man ,i very hardly succeeded4 ,i was not indeed so blinded by the present dejection of my spirit and sickness of my heart1 as to imagine that ,i had not a secure game with this base-minded wretch1 if ,i consented to play it4 ,i had only to enlarge my bribe1 to change it from the limited sum of two thousand pounds to the more brilliant offer of two thousand per annum1 and no doubt ,i might have led him with me to the extremity of the globe4 ,however he might have demurred1 however he might have doubted1 however curiosity1 whetted even to agony by the goadings of avarice1 might have prompted him to an incessant enquiry within himself as to the solution of my character and my powers1 his grasping spirit would infallibly have chained his tongue1 and been surety for his fidelity4 ,but ,i could not yet prevail upon myself to endow such groveling and noxious propensities with so rich a reward4 ,i considered1 in the language of the stranger1 that the talent ,i possessed was of the most momentous nature1 and bestowed by the governor of the universe for the highest purposes2 and ,i should have held myself unjustifiable in enriching by its means1 however urgent the necessity might appear1 the most worthless of mankind4 ,the sentiments of my tyrant varied every hour2 he was fickle1 anxious1 and undetermined2 harassed with the double fear of losing the sum already obtained1 and of not securing the whole of what was capable of being acquired4 ,he parted with me at last with all the pangs of a lover1 who witnesses the ceremony of his mistress's taking the monastic veil1 and being sundered from him for ever4 ,i was his ,fortunatus's purse1 and this was the last day he was to enjoy the use of it2 ,i was to him as the buried treasure of some long-forgotten hoarder1 and he feared he should quit his digging before he had carried off every thing that the field concealed4 ,at length however he began to apprehend that he had urged the refinement of an unprincipled avarice as far as it would go2 and therefore in a few days1 the negro being already discharged from his penance1 he suffered us to escape together4 ,,chapter ,,xxiii4 ,having rejoined the remainder of my family1 we set out together for the plains of ,italy4 ,my first interview with ,marguerite after my return from ,dresden had been melancholy4 ,but our situation was now such as to give additional anguish to her serious thoughts4 ,she had then regarded me as ambiguous1 mysterious1 and impenetrable1 qualities from which the frankness of her nature spontaneously revolted2 she saw in me the destroyer of her son1 the idol of her heart2 she believed me an alchymist1 a character which she viewed as base1 degrading1 and insensible2 she had heard that rumour had been busy with my fame4 ,but now she saw in me a man of blasted reputation1 arraigned and imprisoned for robbery and murder4 ,she did not credit these imputations4 ,but did the ingenuous and noble-minded ,marguerite de ,damville ever think to find herself allied to a being thus loaded with the world's abhorrence2 that she should be compelled to honour with the sacred name of husband a fugitive1 a prison-breaker1 and an outlaw8 ,if ,i had suffered these things in the defence of my children1 my religion1 or my country1 the case would have been widely different4 ,if1 while encountering the contempt of men1 ,i had carried within me the glorious feeling1 that what they regarded as my disgrace was indeed my immortal honour1 ,marguerite de ,damville1 beyond all women1 was prepared to despise their senseless blame1 and proudly to demand her share in such a dishonour4 ,i know there are men who will listen with fretful impatience to a detail of such sorrows as hers1 and who will cry out1 8,if we must be distressed1 give us more substantial and genuine sources of distress60 ,they will regard the dejection of ,marguerite as an idle wilfulness of grief1 better entitled to aversion than to sympathy2 and will tell me that nothing but the most deplorable blindness could have prevented her from discerning the happiness of her condition2 that she had the world before her1 a rich1 a brave1 and an enterprising husband1 with a lovely family of children2 that they could move from country to country1 and from climate to climate1 carrying with them the means of luxury1 indulgence1 homage1 and usefulness4 ,to such moralisers ,i write not4 ,for those who are incapable of sympathising with the delicate sensations of ,marguerite1 ,i am as little qualified to enter into their feelings as they into mine4 ,in the sequel of the story however it is not impossible they may meet with their gratification4 ,i am hastening to events corporeal and palpable4 ,i and my family did wander from country to country1 and from climate to climate4 ,with what resulting success will speedily be seen4 ,our destination at the present moment led us through the territory of the ,grisons1 and over a limb of the ,rhetian ,alps1 to ,como1 ,milan1 ,piacenza1 ,parma1 and ,pisa1 in the neighbourhood of which latter city we resolved to take up our immediate residence4 ,in this passage we met with few adventures that merit to be recorded in my history4 ,one however seems entitled to a place1 both as it tends to display the singular worth of a dumb and unpretending brute1 and as it is in some sort connected with the fortunes ,i encountered in the ,pisan territory4 ,it occurred in our journey over the ,alps4 ,one evening1 in the wildest and most desolate part of the mountain1 after having lodged my family in an inn1 ,i wandered forth to take a survey of the neighbouring scenery4 ,it was moonlight2 our travel of the day had been short1 and had left on me no impression of fatigue2 while the romantic appearance of every thing around1 tempted me to extend my excursion further than ,i had originally purposed4 ,stories of robberies and murders in the vicinity had been repeated to us1 and ,marguerite had employed the precaution of desiring ,hector1 such was the name which the caprice of his former masters had bestowed on my faithful negro1 to follow my steps and hold me in sight4 ,no anticipations of danger however disturbed my contemplations4 ,i resigned myself1 as all my life ,i had been accustomed to do1 to the impressions of the moment1 and sought to shut out memory and the world from all my thoughts4 ,the scene was inexpressibly beautiful2 the silence was uninterrupted and awful4 ,the splendour of the moon gave a sober and silvery tint to every thing by which its light was caught2 soft white clouds were scattered in the deep azure of the sky2 the shades were of a blackness and profundity that could not be surpassed4 ,every thing was calculated to soothe and subdue the mind1 to inspire a grand and expansive tranquillity4 ,the enthusiasm it spoke occupied every channel of my heart4 ,i stood still4 ,it seemed as if motion would have jarred and broken the spell that seized me2 ,i yielded with eager transport to the sentiment that shrowded and enveloped me in its ample embrace4 ,i had remained motionless for above half an hour1 when a sudden and eager sound burst upon my ear4 ,it seemed to be the shriek of some human creature in distress4 ,it was repeated several times4 ,my first impulse was to fly to the spot from which the sound appeared to proceed4 ,meanwhile ,hector came up to me1 and endeavoured to detain me by violence4 ,his first principle was obedience to every just and lawful command2 and the errand upon which he was commissioned1 was to preserve me from the approach of danger4 ,he represented to me the stories of banditti we had recently heard4 ,he told me that we should too probably fall in with a numerous party of these desperadoes1 against whom all our efforts1 either for ourselves or for those ,i was desirous to succour1 would be nugatory4 ,what would become of my children8 what would become of his mistress1 if my rashness were succeeded by a fatal event8 ,while he was thus speaking1 and exerting himself to detain me1 the cries ceased4 ,i believed they were those of a person assassinated4 ,i conceived that ,i should be the vilest of poltroons if ,i suffered any consideration to prevent me from endeavouring to afford to this unfortunate the relief in my power4 ,i had not advanced far1 before ,i perceived coming towards us1 in the same direction from which the sound had reached my ear1 a dog1 entirely black1 and of uncommon stature and strength4 ,he was alone4 ,having caught sight of us1 he increased his pace1 and had no sooner reached the spot on which we stood1 than he seized the flap of my coat1 and pulled it with considerable violence4 ,i was somewhat alarmed at his size and action1 the latter of which ,i apprehended to have a hostile design2 and1 having shaken him off1 ,i put myself in a posture of defence with a cane that ,i carried in my hand4 ,undeterred however by my gesture1 he returned to the attack1 only pulling with something less exertion of strength than he had done before4 ,more accurate attention convinced me that he had no intention to injure me1 and ,i withheld the action of ,hector1 who had raised his hand to strike in defence of his master4 ,i suffered him to guide me2 and1 after a considerable circuit which the nature of the road obliged us to take1 he led me to a spot where ,i found a man lying on the ground1 and weltering in his blood1 but with no person near1 to whom to impute the violence he had sustained4 ,his blood flowed copiously from two or three different wounds1 one of them in particular near his left breast2 and my first care was to stop the effusion4 ,for this purpose we stripped him of his clothes1 and tore his linen into bandages4 ,when we found him1 he was insensible2 but the anguish of binding his wounds revived him a little1 though only enough to extort from him sighs and groans4 ,this accomplished1 ,i dismissed ,hector to the inn to procure something in the nature of a litter1 by which he might more easily be conveyed within reach of effectual assistance4 ,i was now left for six hours with no other companions than the wounded gentleman and his dog1 upon the very spot upon which he had just before sustained so ferocious a treatment1 probably from the hands of banditti4 ,they might every moment be expected to return4 ,this was no agreeable notion to a person circumstanced as ,i was4 ,i was compelled to feel that a man possessed of boundless and illimitable wealth1 and of the power of repelling old age and disease1 did not in these advantages possess every thing4 ,notwithstanding the disappointments and mortifications ,i had sustained1 ,i was yet attached to life3 and though the bequests of the stranger had hitherto produced to me nothing but evil1 ,i still looked1 with almost puerile eagerness and beating of heart1 for the time when ,i might spread out the whole extent of my treasures without parsimony or the dread of reverse4 ,during the interval which ,i employed in these reflections1 the wounded man was for the most part in a state of insensibility1 and constantly speechless4 ,i expected his death every moment1 and ,i perceived1 as ,i thought with certainty1 that there was no hope of his recovery4 ,while we had dressed his wounds1 the dog had watched our motions with the most restless attention1 and1 now that it was over1 he came and licked my hands1 and laid himself down at my feet4 ,the least motion however1 so much as a rustling among the leaves1 startled him3 he rose1 looked round1 and seemed to enquire into the cause of the disturbance2 but he abstained from barking and every kind of noise2 whether it were that he was conscious of the advantage of quiet to a person in his master's condition1 or that he had the sense to know1 in the situation in which we were placed1 that whatever produced alarm1 might eventually expose us to undiscovered danger4 ,it was broad daylight before ,hector re-appeared1 and several other persons in his company4 ,hector was not of a temper to have receded from any thing he undertook1 and the authority of ,marguerite had in this instance seconded his remonstrances with the surly and inactive peasants of the place4 ,i had at this time only one other male servant2 but1 when ,hector returned1 he brought with him a crazy kind of litter1 and a recruit of four mountaineers4 ,the wounded man still lived1 and was conveyed alive to the place at which ,i had taken up my lodging4 ,he survived three days2 and1 during the whole of that period1 the dog could neither be moved by force1 nor prevailed on by entreaties1 to quit the apartment of his master4 ,before his death my unfortunate guest recovered the power of speech4 ,he told me that his name was ,andrea ,filosanto1 and1 which struck me as somewhat extraordinary1 that he was of ,pisa1 the very place at which ,i purposed to take up my abode4 ,he had a brother resident in that city1 and had himself been about to marry a very beautiful and accomplished young lady1 an heiress1 of the house of ,carracciuoli in ,pisa4 ,previously to his marriage1 he resolved to make a visit to his mother1 who had espoused to her second husband a ,french nobleman of ,languedoc4 ,he had travelled accompanied only by one servant1 contrary to the persuasions both of his brother and the family of his intended bride2 but that servant1 though he had been a very short time in his employment1 was active1 ingenious1 and obliging1 and had established himself strongly in the favour of his master4 ,signor ,filosanto had taken with him a sum of money1 the produce of one year's income of the dower of his mother2 and it was but too probable that the richness of the charge he bore1 had been fatal to the life of the bearer4 ,his servant had disappeared from his side not a quarter of an hour before his being attacked by the banditti2 and various concurring circumstances seemed to fix on this servant the accusation of being an accomplice with the murderers4 ,having heard from the unfortunate sufferer the tale of treachery of his human attendant1 ,i related to him the extraordinary example of fidelity and attachment shown by his dog4 ,the master was struck with the story ,i told1 and called the dog to him upon his bed4 ,the poor animal first leaped up upon the foot of the bed1 and then warily and with great caution crawled to his master's face4 ,filosanto embraced the dog1 who by his manner showed himself fully sensible of the purport of the action4 ,that very evening1 having requested me to convey his remains to the tomb of his ancestors at ,pisa1 the master expired4 ,the dog in dumb and constant grief watched by the corpse1 and followed the vehicle in which it was conveyed to ,pisa4 ,after the funeral1 he made the choice1 from which he could not be diverted1 of living with me1 and not with the brother and relations of his master1 to whom he was almost wholly a stranger1 but who would gladly have received him4 ,one of the advantages ,i derived from this adventure1 was the friendship and protection of the ,filosanti and ,carracciuoli1 two of the most powerful families in ,pisa4 ,i have not yet finished the history of my dog4 ,a few months after our establishment in the ,pisan territory1 the valet of the deceased had the audacity to appear in that city4 ,he believed himself to be entirely unknown there1 his master having taken him into his service during his residence as a student in the university of ,bologna2 and having ordered him1 previously to his projected tour into ,france1 to stay behind and settle his debts and other affairs at that place4 ,he found however an adversary in ,pisa that in all his anticipations had never occurred to his thoughts4 ,the dog saw him at a distance in the street1 ran towards him with incredible swiftness1 and fell upon him with savage violence and ferocity4 ,the man was not extricated from his grip1 till he had been severely and dangerously wounded4 ,thus assailed1 all the terrors of superstition and an accusing conscience seized on this devoted villain2 he owned who he was1 and confessed that he had made one among the assassins and plunderers of his master1 visible probably to the dog1 though unseen by the unfortunate ,filosanto4 ,he declared1 that he knew not what motive had brought him to ,pisa1 that he seemed to himself under the guidance of an impulse which he had not power to resist1 and that he rejoiced that ,providence had thus conducted him to the expiation of his guilt4 ,he was brought to his trial1 and suffered death for his crime4 ,charon1 such was the name by which my dog was distinguished1 showed himself in all his actions worthy of the character for attachment and sagacity which he had in these instances acquired4 ,he was therefore the favourite of my whole family1 and particularly of ,hector4 ,but his own partiality was with the nicest discrimination reserved for me4 ,the ruling passion of his preceding master had been the sports of the field1 and his leading singularity an uncommon familiarity and friendship towards his brute attendants4 ,by this conduct he had won the affections1 and perhaps awakened the understanding and virtues1 of the faithful ,charon4 ,i own my weakness4 ,i could not resist the assiduities and regard of this generous brute2 and1 though ,i had never before conceived any extraordinary partiality for creatures of his species1 his sagacity and nobleness of nature took a strong hold of my affection4 ,i admired his form and agility as he bounded and gamboled before me upon the plain4 ,in the midst of his gayest frolics he was all attention1 and the least sign ,i made him would instantly divert his exertions to a different pursuit4 ,he was accustomed to salute me with honest1 undesigning homage every morning as ,i came from my chamber1 and ,i should have missed his presence with heaviness of heart upon this plain and homely occasion4 ,he was the associate of my solitary walks1 and my companion when pensive meditations induced me to withdraw from all human society4 ,i became accustomed at such periods to observe him by my side1 and should have felt that all was not right if he were not there4 ,i was interested in his health1 his well-being and his enjoyments2 and1 if any calamity befell him1 was prepared to feel it more severely than a wise man is sometimes willing to confess4--,it would scarcely be necessary to add to this simple history of my faithful ,charon1 the circumstance of his having saved the life of a beautiful little boy of ten years old1 who had unluckily slipped into the ,arno1 and whom he seized by his garments and drew to the shore1 had it not some connection with what ,i shall speedily have occasion to relate4 ,,chapter ,,xxiv4 ,to return to the thread of my narrative1 which in stating these particulars ,i have in some points anticipated4--,i sat down1 as ,i have already said1 in the environs of the city of ,pisa4 ,marguerite1 as well as myself1 had a powerful attachment to the retirement of rural life1 and ,i judged it equally eligible for the health and intellectual improvement of my daughters4 ,i accordingly purchased a small domain1 delightfully situated1 but of simple appearance1 on the banks of the ,arno4 ,here ,i proposed to remain during the indisposition of my wife1 which ,i flattered myself retirement1 tranquillity1 attention and kindness1 would in no long time be able to cure4 ,to this object ,i resolved to devote my exertions4 ,well did she merit this return from me1 who had restored me in the guilty ruin of my fortunes1 and raised me from the abyss of insanity4 ,odious and detestable in the utmost degree should ,i have appeared in my own eyes1 if ,i could have neglected any means ,i was able to devise1 to heal a mischief of which my own precipitation1 selfishness1 and folly were the only causes4 ,every little1 continual1 nameless care ,i exerted1 was as a drop of healing balm to the burning fever and remorse of my conscience4 ,nothing indeed could eradicate my distemper2 ,i felt the ever-living worm of perpetrated guilt gnawing at my heart4 ,but my solicitudes for ,marguerite1 at least during the moments they were in action1 mitigated my anguish2 and this transitory relief1 however insignificant it may appear in the eyes of others1 ,i cherished beyond the wealth of kingdoms4 ,marguerite and myself appeared at this time to have changed characters4 ,she was languid1 indisposed in body and mind1 her thoughts gloomy1 her hopes blasted1 her wishes bankrupt4 ,still however she maintained her superiority to what ,i had been in a similar condition4 ,she endeavoured to make the best of what yet remained to her1 though she declined the vain attempt of forgetting what she had lost4 ,she hung over her daughters with inexpressible endearment4 ,she consoled them2 she reasoned with them2 she endeavoured to steel their minds for whatever ill might be yet in store4 ,she cultivated their understandings2 she breathed into them mingled sentiments of resignation and energy4 ,there was in her conversation with them a striking tone of celestial and divine4 ,her eloquence was copious2 her manner rich1 unaffected1 and flowing2 her speech simple1 free from exaggeration and turbulence1 but mild1 affectionate1 and winning4 ,it sank deep into the hearts of her hearers1 and seemed to give a new turn to their tempers and disposition4 ,it rendered the character of ,julia at once more distinctive1 and yet more chastised2 it inspired an unwonted mildness and sensibility to that of ,louisa2 and rendered the cadette of the family unusually grave1 thoughtful1 and sedate4 ,but upon me were devolved the more active occupations of our establishment4 ,marguerite had formerly been1 ,i was now1 the steward4 ,every kind of superintendence1 from which the distinction of sex did not unavoidably exclude me1 was resigned to me by the lovely victim of my indiscretions4 ,marguerite had been my nurse1 ,i was now ambitious to be hers4 ,i made myself the schoolmaster of my children2 ,marguerite confined her communications to general topics and the culture of the heart4 ,i initiated them in music1 drawing1 geography1 several different languages of ,europe1 and in every accomplishment that ,i believed would be really ornamental or improving to them4 ,i might1 it is true1 have hired different masters to instruct them in each of these branches1 and it is not impossible that they might then have been better taught1 though ,i was myself no incompetent preceptor4 ,but ,i had an honest artifice for my guide in the plan ,i adopted3 ,i was desirous of removing out of the sight of my wife every thing that might remind her of the fatal legacy1 the effects of which she was induced so bitterly to deplore4 ,in some particulars ,i may affirm of myself that ,i was now a better and a kinder husband1 than ,i had been in the days of our gayest prosperity1 or the scene of our infant loves4 ,i studied with assiduity the temper of ,marguerite2 ,i watched her looks2 ,i endeavoured to anticipate her every wish4 ,i meditated with care the plan of life1 which her simple and feeling heart1 if solely consulted1 would have led her originally to have chosen2 and ,i copied out in the whole arrangement of our household the idea painted in my mind4 ,far from us were now the ostentation and pomp of the family-chteau on the banks of the ,garonne4 ,we lived now1 not to awaken admiration and envy in the bosom of guests and spectators3 we lived for ourselves4 ,every thing was elegant2 every thing was tasteful2 but not an article found its place in our residence1 that did not rest its claim to be there upon a plea of usefulness4 ,though1 by the nature of my situation1 ,i was superior to all restraint from a consideration of expense1 yet our competent board and orderly habitation approached nearer in their appearance to the honest plainness of a rustic1 than to the sumptuousness of hereditary nobility4 ,a table set out with striking propriety and neatness was preferred to the richness of plate and the splendour of porcelain and lustres4 ,i was anxious that ,marguerite should forget the change of our situation and the extent of my resources4 ,the objects of my present pursuit were obscurity and content4 ,that ,marguerite might forget my acquisition1 ,i was studious to appear to have forgotten it myself4 ,if a stranger had entered our habitation1 and surveyed our economy1 he would have judged that our revenues amounted to a decent competence1 and that we disbursed them with a judicious discretion4 ,nothing was to be seen that would have betrayed the possessor of the powder of projection4 ,we had no guests4 ,we cultivated no acquaintance4 ,we were formed to suffice to each other within our little circle2 and1 but for the importunate recurrence of disquieting reflections1 we should have done so4 ,to look at the exterior of our household1 it might have been thought that we had arrived at that sweet forgetfulness of anxious care1 that delicious leisure and unbroken retreat1 which have in all ages been the theme of panegyric to poets and philosophers4 ,but it was not so4 ,our reciprocal relations were changed2 and the hope of the house of ,st4 ,leon was no longer in the midst of us1 to cheer1 to enlighten1 and to warm our bosoms4 ,a life of leisure is often an active and a busy life4 ,the grand1 ,i might almost say the single1 object of present attention to me1 was the restoration of the health and tranquillity of ,marguerite4 ,for that ,i watched with unwearied assiduity4 ,subordinate to this occupation were the different arts and accomplishments in which ,i instructed my daughters4 ,yet neither the former nor the latter of these engagements filled up all the time of a mind so restless and rapid as mine was4 ,intervals occurred1 in which my attentions to ,marguerite would have been1 not soothing1 but troublesome1 and in which ,i could no longer impart a lesson to my daughters1 without relaxing and weakening the spring of progression in their minds4 ,these intervals ,i sometimes dedicated to chemistry and the operations of natural magic4 ,the more effectually to hide these pursuits from the eye of ,marguerite1 ,i occupied1 unknown to her1 a sort of grotto1 buried almost from human observation in a hollow on the banks of the river1 and which was connected1 by a winding path and a concealed subterranean passage1 with the garden of my own habitation4 ,the secrets of the stranger had given me a particular relish for this kind of pursuit4 ,there are habits of the mind and modes of occupying the attention1 in which1 when once we have engaged1 there seems a sort of physical impossibility of ever withdrawing ourselves4 ,this was my case in the present instance4 ,my habit was of no long standing4 ,but no reading of my story1 no mere power of language and words1 can enable a bystander to imagine how deep it was sunk into my heart1 how inextricably it was twisted with all the fibres of my bosom4 ,that he may in some degree enter into my situation1 ,i entreat the reader to consider what are the most imperious passions of the human mind4 ,they have rudely been described to be wealth1 power1 and pleasurable sensation4 ,how alluring to every one of us are the visionary conceptions of the mind respecting these most potent excitements6 ,but mine were no visions4 ,i had grasped them in my hand1 and known their reality4 ,i had felt that the wealth of the whole world was at my disposal1 and that ,i held my life by a tenure independent and imperial4 ,these are not of the class of conceptions that fade and perish from the mind4 ,we cannot wake from them as from a dream1 and forget that ever such things were4 ,they had changed the whole constitution of my nature4 ,it would have required a miracle1 greater than all the consecrated legends of our church record1 to have restored me to what ,i formerly was4 ,if then ,i could have resolved never henceforth to use the gifts ,i had received1 ,i yet firmly believe that ,i never could have refrained from the composition and decomposition of simples1 and from experiments on the nature of substances1 chemical and metallic4 ,i was however far from having formed any such resolution as that ,i have named4 ,my present forbearance to bring forth the secret treasure of my powers was purely an accommodation to the unhappy condition of my wife2 and ,i felt it as a meritorious exertion thus to postpone the use of the faculties ,i possessed4 ,in the mean time the amusement ,i sought1 that ,i regarded as properly and entirely my own1 consisted in these experiments4 ,while ,i was busied with my crucible1 ,i was able more vividly to present to myself my seeming superiority to the rest of my species4 ,i used the employments of my grotto1 as a sort of starting-post from which to set forth in a series of intoxicating reveries2 not to mention that to improve in the facility of my secret operations might become a valuable subsidiary to the pursuits of my future life4 ,i took occasionally as my companion at these periods the negro of the prison of ,constance4 ,i found him sufficiently adapted for my purpose2 his innocence and implicit obedience to whomever he served1 rendering me secure that he would anticipate nothing1 that he would conjecture nothing1 that he would rest in what he saw1 that ,i might almost exhibit my whole process under his eye1 without once awakening the busy fiend of curiosity in a mind to which science had never unveiled her charms4 ,he was formed to be a pure1 passive machine in the hands of his employer1 only with this singular difference from the lifeless machine of the engineer or mechanical inventor1 that he was susceptible of attachment and affection1 as well as of a certain species of contentment and a certain species of goodness and virtue4 ,a feature of my individual character which has already frequently presented itself to the attention of the reader is the love of admiration and spontaneous deference4 ,i am at this moment ashamed of my vices and my follies2 but it must be recollected1 in the first place1 that they are human1 and in the second that ,i am writing1 not their vindication1 but their history4 ,in the midst of my experiments and chemical lucubrations1 ,i could not help sometimes ostentatiously exhibiting to ,hector the wonders of my art1 and those extraordinary effects which have in all ages drawn upon the more eminent operators of natural magic the reproach of being necromancers and conjurers4 ,this ,i did1 partly perhaps that my attendant might learn to look up to me with a kind of nameless respect and awe1 but partly also that ,i might divert myself with the simplicity of his nature1 and the gaping and motionless astonishment with which he viewed my performances4 ,if ,i had not done this1 or digressed into idle and ostentatious experiments1 he would otherwise have seen enough1 in the operations in which his assistance1 if not absolutely necessary1 was extremely convenient1 to have induced a person1 so void of the meanest ,european information1 to regard me as assisted by and in league with invisible powers4 ,the prejudice against me1 with which this poor fellow had been impressed at the commencement of our intercourse did not long hold out1 in his ingenuous mind1 against the more favourable sentiments which my present situation and mode of living were calculated to inspire4 ,the specimens he had hitherto seen of ,european society were of the most unfavourable kind4 ,his first master was a wretch of brutal disposition1 ferocious and insolent2 disdaining to reason himself1 and impatient of remonstrance in others4 ,this man had exercised the temper of his humble and honest attendant with every variety of savage caprice2 and1 having tired the restlessness of his own gloomy tyranny1 without being able to exhaust the modest and unexampled patience of his servant1 had finished by throwing him into gaol1 upon a wanton and groundless charge of dishonesty4 ,this1 which was intended as a further exercise of tyranny1 deserved to be hailed by the poor sufferer as a period of jubilee and deliverance4 ,his innocence1 as ,i have already related1 was speedily recognised by his new task-master1 who accordingly exerted himself to obtain justice for the friendless victim2 and from a reputed thief proposed to elevate him to the rank of a turnkey4 ,hector had neither kindred nor patron to assist him2 the outcast of a gaol1 he must again have entered the world with a blasted character4 ,thus circumstanced1 and influenced beside by gratitude to the unlooked-for liberality of his deliverer1 he willingly accepted the situation proposed to him4 ,with his new master1 who1 not less unprincipled1 was less tyrannical than his predecessor1 the humbleness of his hopes taught him to be contented4 ,yet in the bosom of the gaoler all his fidelity and regard could not enable him to detect one positive virtue2 and1 within the walls of the prison1 there had existed nothing that could by any possibility cherish and refresh the human heart4 ,the scene presented to ,hector's observation in our little retreat1 on the banks of the ,arno1 was of a very different nature4 ,to his frank and affectionate spirit1 it appeared a perfect paradise4 ,he had yet scarcely been acquainted with any but the refuse of mankind1 from the infection of whose vices his unapprehensive and invincible simplicity had been his only safeguard2 and he was now suddenly introduced to the presence and intercourse of the most perfect of her sex4 ,he loved her as a benefactor1 and he worshipped her as a god4 ,there is no receipt for begetting affection in others1 so infallible as a warm and susceptible heart4 ,hector accordingly soon became in a remarkable degree the favourite of my daughters4 ,his temper was naturally cheerful and gay2 and1 warmed by their encouragement1 it became a thousand times more so4 ,when he had completed the occupations of the day1 the lightness of his spirit would prompt him to sing and dance for ever4 ,he exhibited the whole circle of his sportive games for their amusement4 ,the infantine innocence of his understanding remarkably adapted him to be the butt of their little waggeries and mischiefs4 ,whatever tricks were played upon him1 were however tempered by the forbearance and regard his worth demanded2 while the obstreperous cheerfulness with which he would second their mirth1 when most ignorant of its occasion1 gave uncommon zest to the amusement1 and furnished eternal provocation to the prolonging and varying its features4 ,let not the fastidious reader complain of the inconsistency of this part of my picture1 or censure the levity of my daughters4 ,i am not writing a tragedy1 but a history4 ,sad grief and melancholy cannot1 and ought not1 for ever to reign in the human face or the human heart4 ,no daughters ever loved a mother more entirely1 more fervently1 than ,marguerite was loved by her children4 ,they were unwearied in their attention to her3 often was their pillow watered with tears1 occasioned by the sad presentiment of the loss they were destined to sustain4 ,but the human mind1 particularly in the season of youth1 has an unconquerable principle of elasticity in its frame4 ,the bow cannot be kept for ever on the stretch2 and1 when the whole soul appears to be bent down by calamity to the grave1 it will often surprisingly recover its vigour and renew its strength4 ,the ingenuous nature of these poor girls led them indeed occasionally to reproach themselves with these moments of cheerfulness as with a crime4 ,but it was no crime4 ,none but the uncharitably rigorous and morose will charge it upon them as a crime4 ,it interfered with no duty2 it diminished no affection2 it had no tendency to harden their hearts4 ,it was a tax they paid to the imperfectness of our nature2 it was a tribute of gratitude to that ,god who1 while he deals out to us the most terrible calamities1 fails not to mix with the copious draught some solitary drops of beneficence4 ,julia alone1 whose temper was constitutionally serious and soft1 entered little into these sports1 of which her youngest sister was the eternal leader and untired partaker4 ,yet even upon the grave countenance of ,julia they would sometimes provoke an unwilling smile1 which upon her countenance sat with uncommon lustre4 ,the hilarity and loveliness which ,hector found in the midst of my family instigated and increased the attachment he began to feel for myself4 ,he could not believe that the father of such daughters1 and the chosen husband of such a consort1 could be destitute of a title to be loved4 ,he reasoned in his own way upon the attempt ,i had made to corrupt his fidelity1 an attack which he never thoroughly digested4 ,i have reason to believe that his attendance upon my chemical processes1 and the wonders ,i occasionally showed to excite his astonishment1 did not tend to elevate me in his good opinion4 ,but he could not avoid witnessing in me many of the virtues of a good husband and a good father1 and these1 so new to his observation1 strongly impressed him in my favour4 ,the regularity of my habits and the mildness of my carriage were also calculated to win his affection and esteem4 ,never had the poor fellow's affections been so forcibly called out as they were in his new situation2 and he would cheerfully have stretched out his neck to the assassin's knife1 to have warded off impending evil from the meanest of us4 ,prosperity and ease have often been found the parents of wishes and inclinations unfelt before4 ,adversity is the season of sober thought1 calls home the erratic mind1 and teaches us to be cheaply satisfied4 ,but the man who has many gratifications is apt to wander in imagination from daily and familiar joys1 and confidently to reach after things yet untried4 ,such was the situation of ,hector3 ,hector was in love4 ,our sweet and simple mansion was distant scarcely more than two hundred yards from a characteristic ,italian village4 ,the maid of a little albergo in this place had caught his inexperienced heart4 ,he had been invited by some peasants to a moonlight festivity on the lawn of the albergo2 and1 though ,i should have been better pleased that my servants should decline this sort of amusement1 ,i could not have the heart to deny him4 ,it was1 so far as ,i knew1 the first and the last time that ,hector had ever resorted to it4 ,but ,i was deceived4 ,hector had proved the gayest and most amusing of the whole circle4 ,his cheerfulness was inexhaustible1 and his mirth in the utmost degree harmless and good humoured4 ,he had played a thousand antics1 and danced with an agility that knew no end4 ,in a word1 the accomplishments of ,hector1 in spite of the jetty hue that stained his face1 had won the heart1 or roused the coquetry1 of the plump and rosy bar-maid4 ,the overtures she made and the lures she threw out were too glaring to escape the notice even of the modest ,hector4 ,he felt himself flattered1 such is human nature1 at suddenly becoming an object of admiration and preference to a woman1 whom his imagination1 stimulated by her visible partiality1 attired in a hundred charms4 ,he owned himself hers1 in all fair and honest fealty1 to the world's end4 ,love taught ,hector a lesson which he had never learned before4 ,in nature he was frank1 and1 as far as fidelity to his master permitted it1 wore his heart as naked as his face4 ,love taught him dissimulation4 ,a vulgar footman or clown is as forward as the most empty beau1 in boasting of the triumphs he has gained over the female heart1 and in sacrificing the reputation of those who have loved him at the shrine of his vanity4 ,not such was ,hector4 ,he shut ,up his new sensations and reveries as a sacred deposit in his bosom4 ,nature worked within him1 and he would have been ashamed to speak1 and distressed to hear1 of emotions1 now felt1 till now never experienced4 ,his artless and ingenuous temper in this one particular assumed the guise of cunning4 ,never did he tell his love in the ear of any indifferent auditor2 assiduously did he avoid pronouncing even the name of her to whom he was attached4 ,in any other case he would have announced to me his inclinations1 and previously demanded my leave of absence for his excursions4 ,but love seemed to him imperiously to command privacy1 and he employed every imaginable precaution to prevent me and all human beings from knowing whither he went1 or that he was absent at all4 ,in one of his visits to his fair donzella1 he happened incautiously to drop some very remote hint of the scenes in which he had just been engaged with me in my secret grotto4 ,the curiosity of the girl was strongly roused2 she questioned him further4 ,he started1 and was terrified to recollect what he had said4 ,i had strictly enjoined him secrecy towards every member of my family3 my precaution had extended no further2 for1 as ,i have said1 ,i scarcely knew that he had the most casual intercourse with any person beyond my own roof4 ,but ,hector naturally dreaded that what ,i was so earnest to conceal from every one in my house he would be highly to blame to communicate to a stranger4 ,he therefore peremptorily refused1 and with many signs of distress1 to say another word on the subject4 ,the donzella1 piqued at his resistance1 had recourse to female arts4 ,she was cruel2 she uttered words of sharp displeasure and disdain2 she knew that a person who refused her such a trifle could not have an atom of regard for her2 she commanded him never to see her more4 ,unsuccessful in these expedients1 she had recourse to expedients of a different sort4 ,she wept2 she called him base1 false-hearted and unkind2 she saw he was determined to be the death of her2 she was seized with strong fits of sobbing and hysterical affection4 ,in the midst of all this he was as unmoved as a rock of marble4 ,he interpreted every thing that passed in its most literal form2 he felt more severely her unkindness1 and sympathised more truly in her distress1 than perhaps any human creature would have done4 ,but no further could she gain upon him4 ,the confidence of his master was in question1 and he would sooner have died upon the rack1 than run the slightest risk of betraying it4 ,from these arts she descended to arts more congenial to the habits of her life4 ,she summoned all her skill to perplex him with cunning and insidious questions4 ,from her questions he ought to have fled2 but of this ,hector was incapable4 ,he was distressed by her severity1 he grieved for the unintentional pain he had caused her4 ,all these circumstances melted his heart2 and he could not resolve upon any thing that was not considerate and respectful towards her4 ,as the framing of artful questions was the strong-hold of the donzella1 and she might have challenged in this article the most hoary practitioner of the quibbling bar1 so it was exactly the weakest side upon which poor ,hector could be attacked4 ,his simplicity yielded him up a defenceless prey to the assailant2 least of all human undertakings was he capable of detecting the various faces of a doubtful question1 and of guarding himself against the traps of an insidious foe4 ,it was not till the fourth interview from ,hector's original hint1 that the donzella had recourse to this species of attack2 and she did not withdraw her forces1 till she had extorted from him all he knew4 ,when ,hector found that all his guards were baffled and put to flight1 he had then recourse to the only expedient that remained1 conjuring her by every thing sacred and every thing tremendous1 not to betray a trust she had so ungenerously obtained from him4 ,she readily promised every thing he desired4 ,soothed by her compliance1 he determined not to mention to me the lapse of which he had been guilty4 ,it would in his opinion have been little less than treason1 to suspect his ,dulcinea of indiscretion or frailty4 ,in the breast of this miracle of nature was not his loyalty as secure as it could be even in his own8 ,why then should he betray the secret of his love1 which had never yet been confided even to the senseless air8 ,why should he subject himself to the inconceivable anguish and confusion1 of owning1 where my interests1 or where my wishes were concerned1 that he had been found tripping and imperfect8 ,why should he inflict a pain1 or cause in me a fear1 which he knew1 and he only could know1 was groundless8 ,thus it happened that ,i had one more confident of what ,i purposed should be secret1 than ,i was myself in the smallest degree advertised of4 ,the consequences of this indiscretion of my servant were not slow in rendering themselves visible4 ,the donzella was by no means so scrupulous or delicate in her sentiments1 as my humble1 but faithful1 attendant4 ,as she had given her company to ,hector1 she had had an opportunity of observing in him such integrity and goodness of heart1 as could not fail to extort the esteem of any human being4 ,she really honoured him2 she was unwilling to give him any cause of uneasiness4 ,but she had another lover2 perhaps she had more4 ,the laws of chastity she regarded as prejudices1 and believed they were never formed for persons in her situation in society4 ,she was of opinion that the more lovers she had1 provided she satisfied them all1 the more completely did she improve the talents with which ,heaven had endowed her4 ,few women have any secrets for the man they admit to their embraces4 ,in an hour of amorous dalliance she communicated to ,agostino1 the ostler1 all that she knew of the conjurations and spells of ,monsieur ,boismorand1 such was the name ,i had assumed upon my entrance into ,italy4 ,her communication was probably attended with cautions1 imitated from those with which ,hector had so industriously loaded the donzella in the preceding example4 ,perhaps the illustrissimo ,agostino had another mistress1 with whom he thought it would be unjust to practise greater reserves than the donzella had done with him4 ,be that as it will1 the rumours which were whispered to my prejudice speedily got air2 and1 it may be1 were repeated with the greater avidity1 on account of the mystery that attended them1 and the injunctions of secrecy with which they were accompanied4 ,,chapter ,,xxv4 ,italy may be considered as the very focus and parent of superstitious credulity4 ,the materials which ,hector had furnished1 after all the interrogations of the donzella1 were slight compared with the superstructure which was presently erected on them4 ,my grotto was said to be the appropriated haunt where a thousand devils held their infernal sabbath4 ,the terrified imagination of the rustics1 listening with a temper horribly distracted between curiosity and alarm1 created to itself fictitious howlings and shrieks1 and saw pale and sulphureous flames dancing upon the surface of the stream4 ,poor ,hector was early the victim of their cruel and untamed ignorance2 they believed that the peculiarity of his complexion rendered him a singularly agreeable intercessor between me and my infernal familiars4 ,the colour of ,charon was similar to that of my confidential attendant2 and he1 like ,hector1 fell under the calumnious misconstructions of the affrighted villagers4 ,conspicuously noble1 affectionate and useful as he was1 the jaundiced eye of superstition metamorphosed him into a devil4 ,the storms of thunder and lightning to which the climate in which ,i resided is particularly subject acquired new terror from the ill fame which now pursued the name of ,monsieur ,boismorand4 ,at those times the shapeless form of monsters vomiting smoke and flames were visible to the neighbourhood1 sometimes scudding along the blue tops of the distant hills1 and at others1 with audaciousness incredible1 brushing even at the elbow of the almost lifeless clowns and dairy-maids1 and then suddenly dissolving into air1 their place no longer marked but by the noisome and deadly stench they left behind4 ,all the misfortunes of the district were imputed to me1 the mortality of cattle1 the convulsions and death of children1 and the pale and lingering decay of persons recently advanced to an age of puberty4 ,innocent and blameless was my conduct to all around us2 often was ,i forward and eager for the relief of the poor and afflicted2 never was ,i the author of the slightest inconvenience or prejudice to any4 ,yet nothing merely human could be hated in the degree in which ,i was hated2 few were daring and intrepid enough to repeat the very name ,i bore2 and1 when it was inadvertently pronounced1 it produced through the whole extent of the astonished circle an involuntary and supernatural shudder4 ,agostino1 the first lover who had made an impression on the heart of ,hector's donzella1 was1 as ,i afterwards found1 a fellow of a gloomy and ferocious disposition1 a true ,italian spadaccino1 determined that none should perpetrate an affront against him with impunity1 but should expiate1 in some refined and cruel vengeance1 the levity by which they had been so unfortunate as to give birth to his hatred4 ,he by no means relished or approved the liberal and good-humoured sentiments of the donzella2 often had they inflicted on him the darkest torments of jealousy2 nor had he failed1 at least in one preceding instance1 to make his rival the victim of his resentment4 ,the donzella however went on in her career2 she was light of heart1 gay in temper1 and careless of consequences4 ,she had always hitherto succeeded1 by playful blandishments1 or more serious demonstrations of contrition1 in mollifying the temper of her brute2 and every pardon she received operated with her as a new permission to offend4 ,she did not sufficiently consider that she was thus continually raising to a higher pitch the frenzy of his malice4 ,hector in the mean time was utterly unconscious and ignorant of the perilous situation in which he stood2 while1 to the apprehension of ,agostino1 the giving him a negro for a rival1 whom his pride regarded as belonging to an inferior species of beings1 and his devout ignorance likened to the leader of the infernal squadrons1 was the last and most intolerable insult4 ,his malice was ingenious and subtle4 ,he disdained the vulgar revenge of stabbing his antagonist in the dark1 and supposing that his enmity could be gorged by a blow4 ,when the venom of his nature was thoroughly put in motion1 nothing could restore it to quietness and tranquillity but some mighty stroke1 to excite the wonder of every bystander1 and that should leave behind it a track of desolation1 never to be filled up again and erased4 ,he heard therefore with unsated appetite and eager joy the tale of necromancy and infernal machination repeated to him from ,hector by the donzella4 ,the impression which the narrative produced upon him was a mixed sentiment of transport at the apprehension of such an instrument of vengeance and of palpitating hatred2 superstition teaching him to believe and to view with abhorrence that which he desired to render tenfold more an object of faith and aversion to his neighbours4 ,he struck an auspicious and august alliance between his revenge and his religion2 his religion exciting him to exterminate that1 the destruction of which would produce inexpressible gratification to his revenge4 ,the darkness of his spirit led him to proceed with double caution and vigilance in his correspondence with the donzella4 ,he discovered nothing to her of the dark project which was engendering in his mind2 and only betrayed so much of his superstitious feelings and fears as1 by giving new emotion1 might stimulate her to gratify his curiosity and her own by a detection of further particulars4 ,he was assiduous in the underhand and sinister propagation of the tale1 to which he did not fail to give his own colouring and affix his own feelings4 ,he was desirous that the train should be laid in silence1 and that the explosion he designed should be free from all pre-signification of the event4 ,thus an individual1 of whose animosity ,i had no apprehension1 and the meanness of whose appearance would probably have made me neglect all precaution against him1 gave method and direction to an evil1 of which however1 upon a review1 ,i am not inclined to doubt ,i should have been the victim1 if the enmity and industry of this individual had been wholly withdrawn4 ,the mischief was long in preparation1 before ,i received in any way the slightest intimation of the predicament in which ,i stood4 ,the first circumstance at all calculated to excite alarm in my mind1 was the singular manner in which ,i found myself regarded1 if ,i entered any of the neighbouring villages1 or met the rustics and their dames1 as ,i strayed along the roads or the fields4 ,they fled my approach1 deserted the streets1 and carefully shut themselves up in their houses1 till ,i had passed4 ,where it was impossible to avoid me1 they bowed themselves to the earth in the most submissive guise before me1 while the most lively terror was painted in their countenances1 dreading lest they should excite the resentment of a tremendous and inexorable foe4 ,these tokens however were far from inspiring me with a conception of the truth4 ,they perplexed1 they astonished1 they distressed me4 ,sore as ,i was with my recent afflictions1 my mind was but too fully prepared for anticipations of evil4 ,i had suffered from suspicions1 ,i had suffered from calumnious imputations1 ,i had suffered from the malignant effects of popular rumour4 ,had ,i yielded my confidence to any person but such a one as ,hector1 it is probable my suspicions would have turned on that side4 ,but my reliance on him was not less than that which ,alexander the ,great yielded to ,philip the physician3 ,i knew his rectitude1 his simplicity1 his fidelity1 and the singleness of his heart2 and ,i could not harbour the shadow of a doubt respecting him4 ,my reliance was of that entire and perfect sort1 which did not express itself by a recollection of the physical possibility and an acquittal founded in deliberation1 but by a total vacancy of doubt1 or of retrospect that way directed1 just such as the state of my mind would have appeared1 if the thing had been naturally impossible4 ,i was not however ignorant and raw enough to be deceived by the exterior of homage ,i have described2 ,i sufficiently knew that what ,i beheld was the offspring of hatred4 ,to feel one's self hated is in all instances a painful and humiliating state of the human mind4 ,to me it was especially so4 ,i was not formed to retaliate this species of injury2 ,i could not hate in my turn4 ,i was formed to love4 ,i could not look upon my species with dark and gloomy contemplations2 ,i was prompt to admire their virtues1 and perhaps even too prompt to extenuate their errors4 ,it may1 ,i believe1 be laid down as a rule1 that they who cannot hate can least endure to be made objects of hatred4 ,fettered however as ,i now was1 by the tenderest consideration for the health and tranquillity of ,marguerite1 ,i thought it best to temporise and submit in silence4 ,my principal anxiety was to hide these symptoms from the notice of my family4 ,this ,i could not completely effect2 some of them were too glaring and obtrusive1 entirely to escape the observation of my daughters in their walks4 ,but the filial forbearance they felt towards their mother led them implicitly and without any concerted plan to concur with me in my exertions for her quiet4 ,the animosity of ,agostino was restless and inextinguishable4 ,his plans did not terminate in exciting against me a secret and covered abhorrence2 they aimed at nothing less than my utter destruction4 ,the next exertion of the conspiracy which was engendering against me was of a tragical nature4 ,it happened one night1 after all my family was retired to rest1 and ,i was myself sunk into a slumber1 that ,i was suddenly alarmed at the report of a musket1 which seemed to be fired almost under the window of my chamber4 ,this was a very singular circumstance1 and calculated to convey an impression of danger4 ,i leaped from my bed1 and ran to the window4 ,the night was extremely dark1 and every thing seemed perfectly quiet4 ,presently ,i discerned a glimmering light1 like that of a lantern1 which however appeared to be gradually retiring to a greater distance4 ,i was not thus satisfied1 but determined to hasten down stairs1 and investigate the cause of the disturbance4 ,marguerite1 who had heard the firing of the musket as well as myself1 now called me to her1 and entreated me not to expose myself to unnecessary danger4 ,in compliance with her remonstrances ,i promised1 though unwillingly1 not to go out into the court or upon the lawn1 but to content myself with examining the state of every part of the house4 ,when ,i came to the staircase and the hall1 ,i found that the alarm had communicated to almost every person in the family1 who presently assembled round me4 ,we patroled the house1 but found every thing in the situation in which it had been left1 and nowhere any appearance of violence4 ,i opened several of the windows1 but all was darkness and silence4 ,having thus far satisfied myself1 ,i listened with a degree of amusement to the conjectures and sage remarks of several of the servants1 a rank of society who may usually be found to derive a degree of enjoyment from incidents of this sort1 which1 for the moment1 strikingly tend to level all artificial distinctions1 and confer on every one the liberty of uttering his reflections without apprehension or constraint4 ,i did not however feel myself entirely easy2 the circumstance which had just occurred1 combined with the forebodings which had lately impressed me1 had filled me with undefinable terror and alarm4 ,hector would willingly have gone over the grounds contiguous to the house1 to see if he could discover any thing that related to or could explain the incident2 but ,i had promised ,marguerite that ,i would search no further1 and the temper of my mind would not suffer me to expose another to a danger1 which ,i abstained from encountering in my own person4 ,it was more than an hour before the conclave in which we were assembled broke up1 and every one retired1 fatigued with attention1 and prepared to fall into the soundest sleep4 ,my dreams were uneasy and disturbed2 my mind was in a tumult of imaginary calamities2 and ,i passed the greater part of the night in a state of singular anxiety4 ,in the morning ,i was scarcely sunk into a refreshing slumber1 before ,i was suddenly roused from sleep by a repetition of shrieks of astonishment and distress4 ,i put on my clothes as quickly as ,i could1 and hastened towards the spot from which the sounds appeared to proceed4 ,the first object ,i beheld was the little boy of ten years' old1 whom ,charon had a short time before dragged out of the river1 stretched along upon the lifeless body of this faithful and generous animal4 ,the musket1 the report of which had alarmed us the night before1 had no doubt been aimed against ,charon1 and the greater part of its contents appeared to be lodged in his body4 ,as no further sound had succeeded the firing1 he had probably been killed on the spot4 ,he was at a small distance from the house1 near a private footpath1 where he had been found in the morning by the lad whose life he had recently preserved4 ,the poor boy had not at first understood what had happened to his benefactor1 but only thought him asleep1 and1 prompted by affection for the generous creature1 had quietly sat down by him till he should awake4 ,he had not sat long however1 before he discerned about him the marks of blood4 ,he put his hand to the wound2 the animal stirred not4 ,he passed to his head2 he saw his eyes fiery and starting1 and his lips distorted4 ,he endeavoured to awake him1 as one would awake a human being to whom some mischief had happened of which he was not aware4 ,all his efforts were fruitless4 ,he found his body motionless1 and his joints stiff in death4 ,the apprehension of what had occurred then suddenly flashed on his mind4 ,he burst out into shrieks of astonishment and anguish4 ,hector was the first person who caught the sound1 and hastened to the spot2 ,i immediately followed4 ,the poor negro1 who1 in the innocence of his heart was uninitiated in the proud distinctions by which civilised man is taught to place so vast a barrier between the human nature and the brute1 was struck speechless with sorrow and amazement4 ,he recognised the dead being before him for his fellow-creature4 ,he recollected in him his friend1 his companion1 his intimate acquaintance1 between whom and himself there had for some time passed an uninterrupted reciprocation of acts of kindness and assistance4 ,a morose and fastidious reader perhaps will ask me why ,i lay so great a stress upon so petty and insignificant an incident as the death of a dog4 ,it might have been little to other persons2 it was not little to us4 ,let the reader recollect his ingenuity in procuring aid for his dying master1 his gratitude to the person by whom that aid was afforded1 and his unconquerable antipathy to his master's murderer4 ,these are not common traits4 ,there are many men whose premature fate has been the most unrelentingly avenged1 that in moral and useful qualities could not have stood the comparison with my generous ,charon4 ,it surely was no common cause for regret1 that a creature who had distinguished himself by a conduct so peculiarly admirable1 should have encountered so premature and unmerited a fate4 ,his conduct the reader may in some degree comprehend and appreciate2 but ,i should in vain attempt to delineate those admirable qualities in this faithful domestic1 which do not fall within the province of narrative1 and which to have justly appreciated you must have been personally and familiarly acquainted with him4 ,beside1 ours was a family of love4 ,as we were affectionately attached to each other1 so we never admitted a servant under our roof1 who did not prove himself by his conduct utterly unworthy1 to whom we did not extend a share of that friendship and affection1 which seemed to be the right of every one that dwelt in our family4 ,feeling does not stay to calculate with weights and a balance the importance and magnitude of every object that excites it2 it flows impetuously from the heart1 without consulting the cooler responses of the understanding4 ,there was another circumstance which rendered the catastrophe of this generous animal of great moment to us4 ,it was a clear proof that there was somewhere a strong animosity at work against his master4 ,it was impossible he could himself have provoked his fate4 ,never was a creature more gentle and inoffensive4 ,though his bulk was great1 and his strength uncommon1 the energies he possessed were always employed in acts of justice and beneficence1 never in acts of aggression4 ,but if a hatred were at work so busy and fierce as to prompt an action like this1 how were we to estimate it8 ,what was its source1 and whither did it tend8 ,these were very interesting and serious considerations4 ,we however dwelt for some time longer in the centre of general antipathy and abhorrence1 without being able in the smallest degree to explain to ourselves what we saw4 ,as we knew not in what we had offended1 we were unable to atone for our fault1 or even to guard ourselves against the repetition of it2 nor were we by any means prepared to comprehend the extent of our danger4 ,happily ,marguerite1 whose health was now in a rapid decline1 was least exposed to the observation of this new mischief2 though she felt enough of it to confirm her in the sentiment1 that she had nothing fortunate and happy to look forward to in the small remainder of her existence4 ,there was indeed one idea perpetually present to her1 which rendered the impression of ordinary occurrences extremely feeble upon her mind3--,charles1 ,charles1 wandering alone in the world1 unknowing and unknown1 without a friend1 a relative1 a counsellor1 or a protector1 without money and without a name6 ,this melancholy image followed her wherever she went1 haunted her nightly in her dreams1 attended her in all her occupations1 filled all her intervals of leisure2 and1 though she laid it down as a law to herself never to repeat his beloved name in my presence1 she could think of nothing else4 ,,chapter ,,xxvi4 ,it was no long time after the death of ,charon1 that ,hector came home one evening in a state of the most violent anxiety and trepidation4 ,he burst upon me in my study1 where ,i was sitting alone1 buried in one of those deep reveries which1 especially since the legacy of the stranger1 had been among the most frequent habits of my mind4 ,his perturbation was such as to render it impossible for him to impose on himself the smallest degree of caution and restraint4 ,the noise he made in entering the apartment startled me4 ,i looked up1 and perceived his features swelled1 his face bruised1 and his garments disfigured with blood4 8,for heaven's sake1 ,hector10 exclaimed ,i1 8what is the matter80 ,he answered not4 ,he advanced towards the upper end of the room1 he took down a pistol1 one of those which ,i always kept loaded in my apartment1 he came towards me1 he fell upon his knees1 he tendered the pistol to my acceptance4 8,hector60 cried ,i1 8what am ,i to understand8 what is the meaning of this80 8,kill me1 dear master6 ,for ,christ's sake ,i entreat you to kill me60 ,i took the pistol from his hand2 it pointed towards the floor4 8,and will you not kill me80 in a mournful accent exclaimed he4 8,what have you done1 that deserves that ,i should kill you80 8,kill me6 only kill me6 pray kill me60 ,he spread out his hands towards me with a gesture of intreaty4 8,hector1 what means this agitation8 what has happened8 ,you terrify me beyond expression40 8,must ,i speak80 replied he4 8,must ,i be the accuser of my guilty self80 ,he burst into an agony of tears4 8,would ,i were dead6 ,would ,i had been torn into a thousand pieces1 before this had happened6 ,indeed1 sir1 ,i am innocent6 ,i thought no harm6 ,indeed it is not my fault60 8,what have you done8 ,whence come these bruises and this wound80 8,it is all my fault6 ,it is all my doing1--nobody else6 ,why will you not kill me80 8,hector1 ,i cannot bear this uncertainty4 ,recollect yourself6 ,be pacified6 and tell your story60 8,will you forgive me80 8,forgive you what8 ,what have you done to deserve my anger80 8,no1 no1 ,i do not wish to be forgiven6 ,i only wish you to abhor1 to detest1 to curse and to kill me60 8,this is beyond all patience40 8,i never loved any body but you1 and my mistress1 and my dear young ladies4 ,i never did any body else the least atom of mischief2 and now my folly will be the ruin of you all6 8,pardon me1 sir6 ,i will torment you no longer4 ,i will get the better of myself1 and tell you all that has happened40 ,he then informed me1 though with many breaks and passionate interruptions1 of what he had just discovered1 my evil repute as a necromancer1 the many strange and terrible stories that were circulated of me1 the antipathy universally entertained against me1 the active ferociousness with which this antipathy was accompanied1 and the consequences that he feared would result4 ,he ascribed the whole to his own imprudence1 and to the particulars which the superior cunning of the donzella1 in spite of his invincible refusal to acquaint her with a single circumstance1 had wrung from him4 ,hector had collected several of these particulars accidentally from a neighbouring rustic1 and had been vehement in my defence4 ,while they were eager in debate1 others had joined them1 but ,hector had found them all opponents1 not one a supporter4 ,irritated with the contest1 and the opprobrious language heaped upon himself and his master1 ,hector had been provoked to strike the most insolent of the disputants4 ,immediately several had fallen upon him at once1 and it was owing to the uncommon strength and dexterity he possessed1 that he had escaped alive out of their hands4 ,beside innumerable blows with fist1 foot1 and stick1 he had received two or three stabs in different parts of the body1 from the knives with which the ,italian is too much accustomed to assail his adversary4 ,it was easy to see that the gallant and generous defence of ,hector had considerably augmented the danger of my situation4 ,they dismissed him with a thousand execrations against both him and myself1 and vows that they would signalise their vengeance by setting fire to my house4 ,having related his story1 ,hector concluded with again earnestly conjuring me to kill him1 that so he might expiate the imprudence and folly by which he had made himself the author of my calamity4 ,the excessiveness of the poor fellow's distress excited me to employ every effort to pacify his mind4 8,hector10 said ,i1 8you have been very imprudent1 but ,i foresee no such consequences as your terrified imagination has led you to forebode4 ,the idle threats of clowns in the midst of their brawls are entitled to little regard4 ,i am not so weak and infirm of soul as to be moved from my tranquillity by their senseless prate4 ,i entertain no doubt of your fidelity and affection4 ,i am not angry with you4 ,the fault you have been guilty of1 arose from no defect of vigilance or attachment4 ,you did what you could1 and where you failed1 it was only in that to which your powers were not commensurate4 ,you have done well and wisely now1 in acquainting me with particulars and the whole extent of the danger3 doubt not but ,i will employ such precautions and be so awake to my situation1 as to forestall the possibility of mischief40 ,thus ,i endeavoured to assuage honest ,hector's perturbation1 but with no adequate effect4 ,he hung his head in sorrow1 and refused to be comforted4 ,shame and terror assailed him together1 and he knew not how to support their united pressure4 ,he intreated me not to lull myself in fancied security1 and fall blindfold on my ruin4 ,he entreated me not to forgive him4 ,my clemency and forbearance served only to make him regard with greater horror the crime of which he had been guilty4 ,if however ,i refused to punish him1 and by penance or death to lighten the remorse that hung upon his heart1 he would at least devote himself in opposition to the evil he had created1 and die rather than it should touch a hair of our heads4 ,this idea he seemed to view with some complacency2 but the pleasure it gave was a glimmering and momentary light2 he could not remain in any place for an instant2 he wrung his hands with anguish1 and exhibited every feature of the deepest despair4 ,i examined his bruises and wounds1 the latter of which1 though attended with a copious effusion of blood1 did not appear to be dangerous4 ,i warned him to be guilty of no further indiscretion1 to betray nothing of what had happened to any one of my family1 and to engage in no further controversies and broils in my vindication4 ,though ,i endeavoured to make light of what ,i heard in compassion to the distress of my servant1 yet1 when ,i came to reconsider the subject in solitude1 it by no means appeared to me in a light and trivial point of view4 ,one part of ,hector's story had related to the death of ,charon1 who1 ,i now found1 had owed his fate to the superstition of my uncultivated neighbours4 ,i had always entertained a formidable idea of the character of an ,italian populace1 whom ,i regarded as more suspicious1 sanguinary1 and violent than any other race of men in the world4 ,i deplored my fate that exposed me to their rage4 ,i deplored my folly that had admitted any confidant into my individual pursuits1 though my confidence had been so limited1 and its receiver so trustworthy1 that ,i could not have imagined any evil would have resulted4 ,i determined that ,i would not expose myself to the risk of such sinister consequences1 as in my opinion might in my present situation easily overtake me4 ,i grieved for the tender health and the doubtful state of mind of my beloved ,marguerite1 which alone opposed themselves to the adoption of an immediate change of scene4 ,in the state of her health ,i had been grievously disappointed4 ,i had looked for amendment2 ,i found decay4 ,the decay however was gradual1 almost imperceptible2 from time to time ,i had even flattered myself that the progress was in an opposite direction2 but the delusion was soon banished4 ,another difficulty arose in addition to the rest2 ,marguerite appeared pregnant2 a circumstance that now first presented itself after a cessation of ten years4 ,the morning after the accident and disclosure of ,hector ,i went to ,pisa1 determined to consult with the marchese ,filosanto1 elder brother of the unfortunate ,andrea1 who was probably more accurately acquainted with the ,italian character than myself1 and understood the shades of that character1 as they were modified in the particular territory in which ,i resided4 ,the marchese was a man universally admired for subtlety of reasoning1 vigorousness of comprehension1 and refinement of taste4 ,in the structure of his mind he was scarcely an ,italian4 ,he had resided several years in ,england1 and was the intimate friend of ,henry ,howard earl of ,surrey1 who some time after fell a victim to the jealous tyranny of his native sovereign1 king ,henry the ,eighth4 ,the marchese was frank1 generous and disinterested1 and possessed more fully the affections of every one within the circle of his friendship than any other man ,i ever knew4 ,he was of a sanguine temper1 always contemplating the world on its brightest side2 and1 from the generosity of his own heart1 incapable of crediting a distant danger1 or of discerning the storm in the embryo cloud where it was silently engendering4 ,in the conference we held1 ,i was influenced too implicitly by my consciousness of his integrity and the gigantic powers of his mind1 and did not sufficiently advert to those peculiarities in his temper which ,i have now described4 ,the external facts with which the narrative of ,hector had furnished me ,i fully detailed to him2 as to my particular pursuits1 ,i contented myself with stating that ,i indulged freely in the study of chemistry1 and was of those persons1 ordinarily accounted visionaries1 who amused themselves with the expectation of finding the philosopher's stone4 ,having heard my story to an end1 the marchese ridiculed my apprehensions4 ,he saw nothing in the facts that alarmed me1 but a cowardly superstition whose utmost flight reached no higher than the shooting a dog1 and a squabble between a boisterous rustic1 and a servant too acutely sensitive for the reputation of his master4 ,he assured me that the days of such superstition as ,i contemplated were long since past1 and that his countrymen less deserved the imputation than any others1 as1 living at the very centre and source of catholic imposition1 they saw deeper into the mystery1 and were not exposed to the advantage which distance possesses for augmenting our reverence4 ,he expatiated with great eloquence on the vice of a suspicious temper4 ,a spirit of alarm and continual apprehension1 like the jealousy of lovers1 he said1 made the meat it fed on4 ,it brooded over plots that had no existence but in the wanderings of a disturbed imagination4 ,it was continually interrupting the quiet of its owner1 and the tranquillity of society2 and1 for the sake of avoiding imaginary evils1 often plunged into such as were real4 ,he advised me to go home and be contented4 ,he recommended to me to clear up the clouds of my mind1 and cultivate a light heart1 a cheerful temper1 and a generous confidence in the honest sympathies of mankind4 ,in fine1 he bade me continue my pursuits1 avoid clat1 and trust in his sagacity that no ill consequences would ensue4 ,the remonstrances of the marchese ,filosanto led me to suspect that ,i had been idly credulous4 ,i had too easily participated the feelings and apprehensions of a poor uninstructed negro1 and had suffered the secret griefs that brooded in my heart1 to discolour my perceptions1 and aggravate the features of circumstances in themselves trifling or indifferent4 ,i began to be half ashamed of the gloominess of my conceptions4 ,i could not1 alas6 follow the advice of the marchese as to the cheerfulness of my heart2 but ,i could exert myself to prevent my present melancholy from disfiguring to me every thing ,i saw4 ,the influence exercised over my conceptions by persons of eminent intellect has always been great4 ,not that the judgment ,i formed of the powers of my own mind was peculiarly humble2 but ,i reasoned thus4 ,perhaps the person ,i consult is as well informed in the subject under consideration as ,i am1 in that case his decision is as fully entitled to attention as my own2 and thus1 without cowardly self-contempt on my part1 the general balance of the argument was materially altered4 ,perhaps1 without being on the whole my superior1 he may be more competent to this particular question4 ,in either case my idea of its merits became perceptibly modified4 ,i never listened to the sentiments of a man of talents when they differed from my own1 unless where he was evidently visionary and irrational1 without being shaken as to the credit due to my own view of the subject4 ,such then was the effect produced on me by the marchese's expostulation4 ,i shook off my apprehensions1 and laughed at my fears4 ,i was ashamed of the want of gallantry that had possessed me1 when ,i meditated flight from so trivial a menace4 ,i concluded that dangers1 particularly such as arise from the irrational passions of a capricious multitude1 were increased when symptoms of apprehension discovered themselves1 and abated1 when received with neglect or repelled with a magnanimous serenity4 ,,chapter ,,xxvii4 ,meanwhile the unrelenting ,agostino was fixed in his purpose and incessant in his machinations4 ,he believed that the destructive mine was now sufficiently prepared1 and that he might proceed in all surety to the ultimate explosion4 ,he apprehended that he had advanced too far to retract1 that the death of ,charon and the assault upon ,hector were calculated sufficiently to announce what was to follow1 and that it would be injudicious and idle to grant me much respite for reflection4 ,the passions of his associates were wrought up to a frenzy of horror1 and needed only a bold and artful director to urge them to any point of fury and destruction4 ,implicitly as ,i had confided in the decision of the marchese1 ,i had speedily reason to know that it was the dictate of too sanguine and presumptuous a spirit4 ,on my return from his palace1 and1 on several subsequent occasions1 ,i found the manners of the populace altered respecting me4 ,they no longer viewed me with a sort of reverential awe1 or fled my approach4 ,they insulted me with their eyes1 they muttered curses upon me in a voice sufficiently audible to be understood1 they broke forth in gestures of abhorrence and derision4 ,they regarded me with looks of ferocious hatred2 and when ,i had passed them1 their murmurs gradually swelled into shouts of triumphant contumely4 ,these symptoms however were progressive2 each day became more odious and intolerable than the last4 ,they who have never been placed in a situation like mine1 will never be able to do justice to my grievance4 ,they will perhaps say1 that the calamity ,i now endured was a trifling one1 and that a weak mind only can be elevated by the acclamations and huzzas of the multitude1 or depressed by their hisses and scorn4 ,i did not1 and ,i could not1 feel it so4 ,there is no pleasure more congenial to the human heart1 than the approbation and affection of our fellows4 ,i call heaven to witness that ,i could mount the scaffold1 surrounded with an innumerable multitude to applaud my fortitude1 and to feel as it were on their own neck the blow that ended me1 and count it a festival4 ,but ,i cannot bear to be surrounded with tokens of abhorrence and scorn4 ,i cannot bear to look round me through an extended circle1 and see the impatience of despite in every face4 ,man was not born to live alone4 ,he is linked to his brethren by a thousand ties2 and1 when those ties are broken1 he ceases from all genuine existence4 ,their complacence is a food more invigorating than ambrosia2 their aversion is a torment worse than that of the damned4 ,while ,i write1 ,i seem again to hear resounding in my ears the hootings and clamours of these infatuated peasants4 ,when heard indeed1 they went to my heart1 and sat there colder than the aspic's venom3 they rose to my throat with a sensation bitterer than wormwood4 ,they unstrung all my muscles and nerves4 ,i could not stay2 ,i could not fly4 ,i wished myself buried deep in the centre of the earth4 ,i felt something worse1 more revolting1 more opposite to all the prejudices and propensities of the soul1 than annihilation4 ,i have known in various situations and conditions of human life1 what it was to be distressed1 to be dejected1 to be miserable2 but never in any other situation have ,i felt a misery so concentrated1 so gnawing and insufferable4 ,i began however1 like the critics ,i am figuring to myself1 to despise the pusillanimity of my submission1 and to believe that1 if ,i would only make a stand and turn round upon my enemy1 ,i should subdue him4 ,this resolution ,i could with difficulty have taken in the moment of attack2 it was formed in an interval of retrospect and reflection4 ,having formed it1 the contempt ,i should have felt for myself would have been too exquisite1 if ,i had failed to put it in execution4 ,i was not long at a loss for an opportunity4 ,in one of my walks ,i found myself pursued by a numerous populace with a peculiar degree of inveteracy4 ,i yielded for some time1 till ,i came to a place that appeared convenient for the purpose of haranguing them4 ,it was a bench1 placed upon a rising ground and sheltered behind by a thicket1 which had been erected for the purpose of commanding a neighbouring prospect4 ,i stopped2 ,i stepped upon the bench2 ,i waved my hand towards the multitude4 ,they perceived my purpose with some degree of confusion and surprise2 they drew nearer4 8,do not listen to him6 ,do not hear a word he has to say60 cried some of them4 8,oh1 hear him6 hear him60 exclaimed others4 ,i obtained an audience4 8,what is the cause10 said ,i1 8of all this hatred and persecution80 8,because you are a wizard1 a necromancer1 a dealer in the black art2 because you are in league with hell1 and have sold yourself to the devil60 answered twenty voices at once4 8,hear me10 replied ,i1 8and ,i will convince you of my innocence3 but hear me in silence1 and do not interrupt me40 8,for myself1 ,i have no belief in the existence of such an art40 ,this remark produced a general groan4 8,why should ,i have sold myself to the foe of mankind8 ,what could he give me1 that should compensate me for consigning myself over to him for ever hereafter8 ,the power of exhibiting strange and extraordinary tricks4 ,what a pitiful recompence8 ,but1 if ,i had bought this power at so dear a price1 should ,i hide it8 ,should ,i not take every opportunity of exciting your reverence and astonishment8 ,who has seen me perform any wonderful feat8 ,i live quietly among you1 and give no cause of offence to any4 ,i live retired in the midst of my family4 ,i form no party or connections4 ,i do not intrude into any of your affairs1 political or private4 ,i do not even enter into conferences with any of you1 unless induced by the apparent occasion of doing some good and benevolent action4 8,quit then this ungenerous persecution6 ,do not turn the fury of your resentment upon a harmless stranger6 ,you are ,italians1 the most polished and ingenious people on the face of the earth3 the most glorious monuments of art1 in building1 in statuary1 and in painting1 are to be found in the midst of you3 ancient ,italy governed the world by her arms2 modern ,italy governs the world through the medium of that pure and sublime religion of which ,providence has graciously made her the repository4 ,do not stain the glory of this character6 ,show yourselves worthy of the honour with which your name is heard in every corner of the habitable world60 ,while ,i was yet speaking1 a large clot of mud reached me1 and struck me on the face and the upper part of my breast4 ,i calmly endeavoured to free myself from its effects with my handkerchief2 and1 looking round me1 demanded1 in the sacred spirit of conscious innocence1 8,how have ,i deserved this treatment80 ,thus far ,i had been heard with a doubtful sentiment of murmur and approbation1 and ,i began to feel that ,i was rather gaining ground upon my audience4 ,but this new insult seemed to turn the tide of popular impression in an instant4 8,villain1 renegado1 accursed of ,god60 ,i heard from every side2 8did not you bewitch my cow8 did not you enchant my child8 have not you killed my daughter8 ,down with him6 exterminate him6 do not suffer him to live60 ,i continued my efforts to be heard4 ,it was a critical moment1 a last experiment upon the power of firmness and innocence to control the madness of infuriated superstition4 ,it was in vain4 ,i was deafened with the noise that assailed me4 ,it was no longer shouts and clamours of disapprobation4 ,it was the roaring of tigers1 and the shriek of cannibals4 ,sticks1 stones1 and every kind of missile weapon that offered itself1 fell in showers around me4 ,it seemed a sort of miracle that ,i escaped instant destruction4 ,i eluded their pursuit3 after some time ,i ventured to return to my own house4 ,i had in the interval terrified myself with the idea that1 having missed my person1 they might have hurried thither1 and executed some terrible vengeance on my helpless family4 ,i found them however in safety3 the mob had for this time contented itself to disperse without further mischief4 ,as soon as it was dark1 ,i hastened to ,pisa1 and related what had just occurred to my friend the marchese4 ,he was surprised2 but he still adhered to his opinion4 ,he had never supposed1 he told me1 that a noisy and clamorous mob was a proper subject upon which to make experiment of the energy of truth2 and he laughed at my attempt to reason them out of their superstition4 ,but they meant nothing by all that had passed4 ,it was the mere foam and fury of a moment1 poured out with vehemence1 and then dissipated in air4 ,a certain set of politicians had for their particular ends represented a mob as a terrific and formidable engine3 alas6 they were rather to be pitied than condemned4 ,there was no malice in their hearts4 ,they were in reality a mere material machine1 led on without reflection1 and1 when they had committed a momentary ravage1 astonished themselves the most at the injury they had perpetrated4 ,they were as light and variable as a feather1 driven with every breath2 and nothing could argue greater obliquity of intellect than to suppose1 because they were in a certain temper and sentiment to-day1 that they would be found in a similar temper and sentiment to-morrow4 ,the marchese however wished1 he said1 to relieve me from the apprehension of this imaginary danger1 and therefore offered me the whole suite of his servants for the defence of my house4 ,he added that1 among his friends and retainers in the city of ,pisa1 he did not doubt in an hour's time to be able to raise a troop of four hundred men2 and1 whatever power of that sort he possessed1 he assured me was wholly at my service4 ,i was not convinced by the marchese's arguments1 but ,i declined his offer4 ,i could not bear to think that blood should be spilled1 and the lives of these poor ignorant wretches sacrificed1 for the preservation of a thing so worthless in my eyes as the local property ,i possessed4 ,i therefore told the marchese1 that ,i might perhaps wait yet a day or two longer before ,i formed my resolution2 but that1 the instant ,i saw one fresh symptom of the hostility of the villagers1 ,i was determined to take my family with me1 and remove far beyond the reach both of their terrors and their hatred4 ,i staid two hours with the marchese1 and then set out to my own house4 ,the way ,i took was by a private road1 open only to the neighbouring gentry1 but of which my servant carried the key4 ,it led along the higher ground1 and commanded a view of the common highway4 ,considerably before ,i reached my own habitation1 ,i was struck with the appearance of persons passing1 in considerable numbers1 and in a tumultuous manner1 along the public road4 ,some of them were armed with clubs1 and others with torches4 ,their march however led1 not towards my house1 but in an opposite direction4 ,i mended my pace1 terrified with a sort of vague apprehension of what might have happened1 though ,i did not disguise to myself that what ,i saw was not precisely that which ,i might have expected to see1 if they had been returned from demolishing my property1 and burning my house4 ,when ,i arrived1 ,i found indeed that no mischief had been actually committed1 but that ,i was indebted for the preservation of my house1 and perhaps for the lives of my wife and children1 to the sagacity and presence of mind of ,bernardin1 the servant of my early years4 ,my residence had been the object against which the march of the populace had been directed4 ,bernardin1 perceiving their intentions1 had with great difficulty prevailed upon ,hector to keep out of sight4 ,nothing could be more adverse to the feelings and inclination of my faithful negro2 but1 ,bernardin having convinced him that his appearance would only exasperate the rage of the assailants1 and that perhaps every thing of importance to his master's service and happiness depended at present upon his concealment1 ,hector yielded to his representations4 ,this accomplished1 ,bernardin next assembled the gardener and one or two labourers in my employment1 who happened to be at hand2 and1 having furnished them with fire-arms1 stationed them at different windows1 in the front of the house4 ,with these preparations1 when the mob arrived he resolutely told them that he would fire on the first person that attempted to break in4 ,they were staggered3 furious as they appeared the moment before1 this threat held them in awe4 ,they paraded two or three times round the house1 clattering their arms1 and pouring out vehement execrations2 and then withdrew1 solemnly promising that they would return the following night1 and level the house with the ground4 ,i no longer yielded the smallest degree of credit to the unsuspicious and confiding philosophy of the marchese ,filosanto4 ,i sent off my wife and children before daybreak for ,lucca1 determined to take shipping at the first convenient port1 and pass over into ,spain4 ,i was little solicitous1 for reasons with which the reader is already acquainted1 about my property and moveables3 ,i had no motive to induce me to fetter and clog my retreat1 at this hour of peril and terror1 with a single article of rarity and price4 ,my furniture indeed was not splendid1 but it was handsome and valuable2 and the indifference with which ,i resigned the whole to the mercy of chance1 was a matter of some surprise to the persons around me4 ,my servants offered to defend my possessions1 at the peril of their lives2 but ,i peremptorily forbade it4 ,i would not even consent to their taking away certain articles1 by way of appropriating them to their personal use4 ,i believed that if ,i admitted a single act of that sort1 ,i should find it no easy matter to set limits to their avidity2 and1 as ,i had determined to take none of my present servants with me1 the negro and ,bernardin excepted1 ,i feared that the apparent possession of a single article that had been mine might hereafter mark its proprietor a victim to the senseless rage of blindfold superstition4 ,i could easily make up to these honest and faithful dependants the injury they might sustain from the seeming severity of this order4 ,i determined to shut up my house1 with all its present contents1 as ,joshua1 the captain of the ,jews1 drew a line of separation round the profane possessions of ,achan2 and to leave the villagers1 if so it seemed good to them1 to make of the whole a burnt-offering1 to propitiate the wrath of their avenging divinity4 ,the directions ,i issued being unhesitating and peremptory1 met with a ready submission from all my other domestics3 ,hector only1 the mild and complying ,hector1 of whom obedience had hitherto appeared to constitute the very soul1 met my commands with a resolute refusal4 ,the present distressed appearance of my fortunes seemed to have worked the poor fellow's mind to a paroxysm of insanity4 ,he considered himself as the sole author of my calamity4 ,he reviled himself in the bitterest terms of compunction and abhorrence4 ,the language which the agony of his soul forced from his lips1 was such as could not fail to impress upon my other servants a conviction of the justice of the imputations that were now brought against us4 ,this however was of little importance4 ,i must at all events have been contented to leave behind me1 in my present neighbourhood1 a name loaded with the execrations of religious fanaticism4 ,hector imprecated upon himself a thousand curses1 if1 so long as he continued to live1 the populace should lay hands upon a straw of my property4 ,he would not move so much as an inch from the defence of my house4 ,he would either1 by preserving it1 expiate in some degree the mischief in which he had involved me1 or fall and be crushed to death in the midst of its ruins4 ,arguments and expostulations were useless here3 his mind was worked up to too high a tone1 to be susceptible of the patience necessary for hearing or understanding any reasoning that was addressed to him4 ,authority itself was of no avail3 for the first and the last time he threw off the character of a servant1 and appeared obstinate1 self-willed1 and ungovernable4 ,it was only by direct violence that he could be forced from the spot4 ,i gave him in charge1 with the most strict orders not to suffer him to escape from their custody1 to two of his fellows4 ,this business being despatched1 ,i went1 at the invitation of the marchese1 to a small cottage he possessed at no great distance from my own house4 ,its situation was so private and retired1 that few persons knew or could perceive that there was any building on the spot4 ,here therefore ,i could remain in the most perfect safety4 ,i felt myself unaccountably impelled to stay and witness the catastrophe of the tragedy4 ,i should not have been satisfied to continue in uncertainty as to what it would prove4 ,after all that had passed1 like the marchese1 ,i should have been apt to accuse myself of cowardice1 and a mind soured and degenerate1 if the mob had not put their threats in execution4 ,the marchese himself was well pleased with my determination in this respect4 ,he was not yet convinced that ,i had not painted to myself a danger1 which had no adequate counterpart in the world of realities4 ,i had not long to wait4 ,the night had no sooner spread an even-coloured and almost impervious veil over the world1 than the marchese1 as if moved by a secret impulse to witness what he yet refused to believe1 came to me at the cottage4 ,he had scarcely arrived1 when he heard the confused murmurs and turbulence of the populace2 for we were near enough to distinguish almost every thing4 ,as they did not meet with the defence of the preceding evening1 the work they had undertaken was presently despatched4 ,we saw the flames ascend4 ,we recognised the shouts of infernal joy with which they witnessed the catastrophe4 ,when the marchese beheld what1 till seen1 he would never admit to be possible1 he burst out into a sort of transport of misanthropy4 ,he exclaimed that no innocence1 and no merit1 could defend a man from the unrelenting antipathy of his fellows4 ,he saw that there was a principle in the human mind destined to be eternally at war with improvement and science4 ,no sooner did a man devote himself to the pursuit of discoveries which1 if ascertained1 would prove the highest benefit to his species1 than his whole species became armed against him4 ,the midnight oil was held to be the signal of infernal machinations4 ,the paleness of study and the furrows of thought were adjudged to be the tokens of diabolical alliance4 ,he saw1 in the transactions of that night1 a pledge of the eternal triumph of ignorance over wisdom4 ,above all1 he regretted that his countrymen1 his dear ,italians1 should for ever blot their honour and their character by such savage outrages4 ,though myself the principal sufferer1 ,i was obliged to perform the part of the comforter and consoler1 and endeavour to calm the transport of agony that seized upon the susceptible ,filosanto4 ,he was astonished1 shocked1 and beside himself3 ,i viewed the whole with the gloomy firmness of a desperate resolution4 ,the worst event of this detested evening remains yet unrecorded4 ,even now ,i tremble1 while ,i attempt to commit the story to my harmless paper4 ,so far as related to the mere destruction of my property1 ,i looked on with a philosophical indifference4 ,i had no reason1 and ,i disdained to regret the loss of that which ,i had it in my power to repair in a moment4 ,i thought ,i had taken care that no human life should be risqued upon this critical occasion4 ,but ,i was mistaken4 ,i learned the next morning with anguish inexpressible that ,hector1 the negro of the prison of ,constance1 was no more4 ,he had eluded the vigilance of his keepers4 ,no sooner was he at liberty1 then he hastened1 unknown to every one1 to die1 as he had declared he would1 in the defence of my house4 ,the mob had burst into the house2 they seized him alive4 ,they dragged him out in the midst of them2 they insulted over him1 as the special favourite of the infernal king4 ,they inflicted on him every species of mockery and of torture2 they killed him joint by joint1 and limb by limb4----,the pen drops from my lifeless hand4 ,what right had ,i to make this man the victim of my idle and unhallowed pursuits8 ,what has the art and multiplication of gold in it1 that should compensate the destruction of so ingenuous1 so simple-hearted1 so noble a creature8 ,if ,i had myself fallen into the hands of the populace1 it had been well3 ,i was a criminal1 worthy of every retribution they could inflict upon me6 ,some men perhaps will ask1 why ,i lamented so bitterly over so uncultivated and uninformed an individual as this negro4 ,there was however something so truly tragical in the fate to which this creature in his generosity and remorse devoted himself1 that ,i believe for the moment ,i felt a sharper pang in it1 than in the strange and extraordinary loss of my only son1 or perhaps in the premature death of my beloved ,marguerite4 ,,chapter ,,xxviii4 ,before the dawn of the succeeding morning ,i turned my face towards ,lucca4 ,i beheld the last cloud of mingling smoke and flame ascend from the ashes of my villa4 ,the blaze sunk1 its materials were nearly consumed1 and it yielded an uncertain and fitful light only1 when ,i withdrew from being any longer the melancholy and heart-wounded spectator of the ruin4 ,i took an everlasting leave of the marchese4 ,i had been introduced to him under a friendly aspect1 as the man who had had courage to perform the last offices of humanity to his unfortunate brother2 and he had conceived a warm affection for me4 ,the painful nature of the catastrophe he had witnessed melted his heart1 and he earnestly pressed me to draw upon him for any supplies ,i wanted1 or rather to receive from him a sum equivalent to the damage the superstition of his countrymen had inflicted on me4 ,this ,i positively refused2 but ,i found it impossible to silence his importunity1 till ,i submitted to the duplicity of promising that1 if ,i found myself reduced to any necessity1 ,i would not fail to apply to him4 ,it was in the very moment of our separation that intelligence was brought me of the fate of ,hector4 ,the reader may imagine with how heavy a heart ,i set out on my journey4 ,lucca is about seventeen miles from the city of ,pisa2 from the place where ,i had spent the greater part of this memorable night it was twenty4 ,the marchese made me promise to take a serpentine and circuitous route1 the more completely to elude the possibility of future danger4 ,an adventure occurred to me in this passage1 with the relation of which ,i will not interrupt my narrative1 which prevented me from arriving at ,lucca till the noon of the following day4 ,suffice it to say1 that it was of such a nature1 that1 impatient as ,i was under my present extraordinary circumstances to rejoin my family1 ,i should have held myself destitute of every atom of humanity1 if ,i had not submitted to this short delay4 ,short as it was1 ,i found1 when ,i reached ,lucca1 that my evil genius had been busy to accumulate for me new misfortunes4 ,marguerite and her daughters were wholly unknown in this place2 and the intelligence of the ,pisan riot having reached ,lucca in the course of the day1 it was related to my wife1 as to a hearer unconcerned1 with all its horrid circumstances and the calamitous fate of our generous ,hector1 by the hostess of the inn4 ,the rapidity of events1 during the last part of our residence in the ,pisan territory1 was such as to have obliged me to say little of the effect they produced upon ,marguerite4 ,but the reader can scarcely be so inadvertent and unreflecting1 as not easily to imagine to himself that she felt them in the highest degree painful and overwhelming4 ,this last blow was too much4 ,marguerite had been some months pregnant4 ,she was immediately seized with the pains of labour1 and delivered of a dead child4 ,the first intelligence communicated to me upon my arrival was that my wife was dying4 ,lucca however did not witness the period of her existence4 ,after having continued for several days upon the very extremity1 as it were1 between life and death1 she grew perceptibly better2 and in a week more1 though in a very feeble state1 it became apparent that her case was not a rapid one4 ,we agreed to proceed upon our ,spanish voyage4 ,it appeared not improbable that the sea-air might be found beneficial1 and the experiment was warmly recommended by her physicians4 ,they were not however aware of the whole extent of her disorder4 ,during the voyage her crisis returned with such malignant symptoms1 as scarcely to permit us the hope she would reach the land alive4 ,we debarked at ,barcelona on the #adth of ,april #aedf4 ,we had no sooner taken up our abode in this city than1 fully aware of the state of her disease1 she assembled her daughters1 and poured forth to them without restraint that flood of affection1 that ardent spirit of love1 by which she was distinguished and elevated above every creature that lived4 ,her mind was clear1 her intellectual powers were complete and entire4 ,the enthusiasm with which she now expressed herself was not of that inconsiderate nature which should tend to make them feel with greater acuteness the loss they were about to sustain4 ,it was bright1 unclouded and serene4 ,it was the eloquence as of a disembodied spirit1 freed from the perturbation and alloy of human passions4 ,she reminded them that they were sisters1 and exhorted each to fulfil the duties of a sister and a mother to the other two4 ,if wise and good1 they would be happy in each other1 and their little association would be a school1 preparing them for the more genuine and venerable duties for which nature had destined them4 ,her views of all human things were altered by her present situation on the brink of the grave4 ,our reserves and misunderstandings had wrung her heart2 but she forgave me4 ,things which had lately appeared of the highest magnitude and moment1 faded in the distance1 and mingled with the vulgar crowd of human concerns which was now retiring from her view3 she must again return1 she said1 to life1 before she could again feel the passions and the interests of this petty scene4 ,for the sake of her daughters she had lately desired to live4 ,she was now reconciled and content to die4 ,she had formed the chain and link of connection between me and my girls2 perhaps it was better that we should burst our fetters and be free4 ,on the fourth day after our arrival at ,barcelona ,marguerite expired4 ,there is nothing in the vast variety of objects which this wretched world presents to our view so dreadful and distressing as the sight of one we have loved1 but who is now no more4 ,i saw1 these eyes beheld1 the lifeless corse of ,marguerite4 ,great ,god of heaven6 what is man8 and of what are we made8 ,within that petty frame resided for years all that we worship1 for there resided all that we know and can conceive of excellence4 ,that heart is now still4 ,within the whole extent of that frame there exists no thought1 no feeling1 no virtue4 ,it remains no longer1 but to mock my sense and scoff at my sorrow1 to rend my bosom with a woe1 complicated1 matchless and inexpressible4 ,the cheek is pale and livid2 the eyes are sunk and circled with blackness4 ,corruption and ruin have already seized their prey and turned it into horror4 ,draw1 for heaven's sake1 draw the pall over those lifeless features6 ,bury1 bury them deep in the bowels of the earth6 ,let not my imagination follow them into the chambers of the grave1 and dwell amidst pestilential damps and all the series of destruction6 ,let me recollect all that ,marguerite was as she lived1 her numerous accomplishments1 her unparalleled virtues1--ay1 in all the magnitude and wealth of their detail1--for that is a divine and celestial madness3 but let me not recollect her as ,i saw her on the bier1 lest ,i become raving and blaspheme6 ,i have no power to talk of the situation in which ,i was now placed1 and the reader must therefore explain it for himself1--if he can4 ,i never loved but once2 ,i never loved but ,marguerite4 ,all other affection is stillness and ice compared with this4 ,this is the great crisis of my history1 the gap between life and death1 the gulf that cut me off for ever from every thing that deserves the name of human4 ,such was the legacy of the stranger6 my son an exile1 myself publicly arraigned as a murderer1 the unmerited and tragical death of ,hector1 the premature and self-deriving loss of the better half of my soul6 ,who would have believed that this envenomed gift would1 in less than two years1 have thus dreadfully changed the face of my affairs1 and destroyed every thing that composed the happiness of my life8 ,after some delay in this wretched and ill-omened town of ,barcelona 7such it has ever since appeared to my thoughts71 we proceeded to ,madrid4 ,the reader will give me credit1 when ,i tell him that1 however eager ,i had lately felt to exhibit my magnificence and my wealth1 ,i had no such eagerness now4 ,i speak no more of the character of ,marguerite2 ,i attempt not to compose her panegyric4 ,the story of her life is the best record of her virtues4 ,her defects1 if defects she had1 drew their pedigree from rectitude of sentiment and perception1 from the most generous sensibility1 from a heart pervaded and leavened with tenderness4 ,a simple stone in the western aisle of the great church at ,barcelona records her personal and her family name1 with this single addition1 ,,the ,,preserver ,,of ,,her ,,family ,,in ,,poverty ,,and ,,ruin1 ,,the ,,victim ,,of ,,her ,,disconsolate ,,and ,,repentant ,,husband',s ,,unhallowed ,,wealth4 ,but1 dismissing for ever1 and henceforth consigning to unviolated silence her excellencies1 could ,i avoid feeling that ,i could never again form a similar1 or indeed any real union1 so long as ,i existed8 ,being now indeed more than forty years of age1 having spent near twenty of that forty in a most enviable wedlock1 and being blessed with a sufficiently numerous offspring1 it may be thought perhaps ,i might be contented4 ,but1 without discussing the propriety of such a maxim as it relates to the species in general1 it must be recollected in my case that my youth was to be recommenced by a perpetual series of renewals4 ,i never gave credit to that axiom of a sickly sensibility1 that it is a sacrilege1 in him who has been engaged in one cordial and happy union1 ever to turn his thoughts to another4 ,much more reasonable than this is the ,indian doctrine1 that the survivor ought to leap into the flames1 and perish upon the funeral pyre of the deceased4 ,while we live1 it is one of our most imperious duties to seek our happiness4 ,he that dedicates his days to an endless sorrow is the worst and most degraded of suicides4 ,it is an important question in the economy of human life1 up to what age we should allow ourselves to contract engagements to a wife and a probable offspring3 but1 separately from this consideration1 ,i should hold that in many cases he who entered into a second marriage1 by that action yielded a pure and honourable homage to the manes of the first4 ,but from genuine marriage ,i was henceforth for ever debarred4 ,an immortal can form no true and real attachment to the insect of an hour4 ,mourning1 a depressing and speechless regret1 was yet the inmate of our house4 ,grief does not commonly lay a strong and invincible hold of us in the morning of our days2 and1 though the temper of ,julia was perhaps at her age the most tender and susceptible ,i ever knew1 even she1 who was now in her seventeenth year1 reaped the benefit of that elasticity which in early life is the portion of humanity4 ,nothing material occurred to us in the first three months of our residence in ,madrid4 ,it was impossible for any one to be surrounded with a more lovely and blooming family than ,i was4 ,yet from happiness ,i was immeasurably distant4 ,exclusively of my recent and in every sense irreparable loss1 my mind was full of dark and gloomy forebodings4 ,i feared not for myself1 but ,i had an unconquerable alarm and apprehension for my children4 ,my youngest was but ten years of age2 the eldest was not seventeen4 ,sweet1 tender blossoms1 that the cruelty and hardness of mankind might so easily blight1 and that required a concurrence of favourable circumstances to ripen into all they were capable of becoming6 ,when ,i recollected what had happened in the course of the last two years1 ,i could not flatter myself that our misfortunes were at an end1 or that ,i had not1 to speak moderately1 many fierce trials yet to encounter4 ,i seemed1 like the far-famed tree of ,java1 to be destined to shelter only to destroy1 and to prove a deadly poison to whatever sought its refuge under my protecting branches4 ,in this melancholy frame of mind the last words of my adored ,marguerite passed and repassed ten thousand times through my recollection4 8,she had formed the chain and link of connection between me and my girls2 perhaps it was better that we should burst our fetters and be free40 ,whatever she had said was sacred to the present temper of my imagination3 her last behest ,i would have died to execute4 ,the idea contained in the sentence ,i have just repeated was ambiguous and obscure1 rather hinted1 than expressed4 ,but was it worthy of the less attention1 because its author1 with her usual gentleness and sweetness1 had modestly suggested an advice1 instead1 which she was well entitled to have done1 of prescribing a will8 ,i determined to part with my children1 that ,i might no longer be to them a source of corroding misery and affliction4 ,i believed that the cloud that now oppressed me was transitory4 ,i seemed pursued for the present by a malignant genius2 but a man1 endowed as ,i was with unbounded wealth and immortal vigour1 cannot easily be reduced to despair4 ,when the tide of my prosperity should unfold its rich and ample current1 ,i might easily communicate of its bounty to my daughters4 ,if ,i parted with them now1 ,i did not lose them as ,i had perhaps lost their brother for ever4 ,i could turn to a particular point1 and say1 8,there lies my soul60 ,i could cast my eye upon a projection of the globe1 and put my finger upon their residence4 ,wherever ,i wandered1 whether ,i were plunged in a dungeon or mounted a throne1 my heart1 like the mariner's needle1 would tremble towards that point as its cynosure4 ,i had still something to love1 something to pant for1 something to dream about1 and be happy4 ,having ruminated insatiably upon the last expressions of ,marguerite1 having formed my commentary1 and fixed my predilection1 ,i recollected a person1 then a young woman upon my paternal estate1 for whom my wife had conceived a remarkable friendship4 ,she was the daughter of a peasant1 her birth had been low1 and her education confined4 ,but she had taste1 she had discretion1 she had integrity1 ,i think ,i may add1 she had genius4 ,as ,marguerite had discovered her merits1 and distinguished her from her equals1 she had been of great use to this extraordinary rustic in unfolding her mind1 and guiding her propensities4 ,this was not so much a matter of deliberate and meditated purpose in la dame du seigneur2 it rose out of the circumstances of their situation4 ,they were almost of an age2 and ,marguerite frequently invited her to be the associate of her studies and amusements4 ,mariana1 that was her name1 did not perhaps resemble my wife considerably in her features1 but her stature was the same1 her complexion and the colour of her hair4 ,the similarity in carriage and gesture1 ,mariana having never had an opportunity of contemplating the accomplishments she admired in any one but madame de ,st4 ,leon1 was still more striking4 ,there were points indeed in which no human creature could compare with ,marguerite1 the expressive and flexible tone of her voice1 and those cadences1 which sprung from1 and communicated to every susceptible hearer1 the divinest sensibility4 ,one of the unhappy consequences of our exile from the ,bordelois was the misfortunes of ,mariana4 ,her father had fallen to decay4 ,to relieve his distress she had contracted a marriage1 not of sentiment and predilection1 but with a man who had promised her that her father should never come to want4 ,this marriage had been unhappy4 ,the husband was a prodigal and a profligate4 ,a period of seven years however delivered her from her ,egyptian bondage4 ,she had but lately become a widow2 and the prudence and integrity of her conduct had rendered this alliance1 which to many women would have proved a rock of destruction1 an additional source of honour and respect4 ,mariana1 at the death of her husband1 had no children2 she had buried her father2 she was consequently entirely alone4 ,it was this woman ,i fixed upon as the protector of my daughters4 ,i was better pleased with the meanness of her extraction1 than ,i should have been with one of the high-born descendants of the houses of ,st4 ,leon or ,damville1 had it been my fortune to have had in the female line any near relations on either side4 ,my daughters were no longer children2 they were singularly prudent1 considerate1 and unimpeachable in their conduct and propensities4 ,they wanted a protector in the eye of the world2 it was desirable for them that they should have an adviser2 but ,i should have been grieved and mortified to give them a dictator4 ,i wrote to ,mariana ,chabot1 communicating my project1 and requesting her to give us the meeting at ,st4 ,lizier on the frontiers of ,france4 ,she was delighted with the office ,i tendered to her acceptance1 and readily consented to every thing ,i required4 ,i conducted my daughters to the place of rendezvous without imparting to them the design by which ,i was actuated2 ,i believed that they would of their own motion conceive a partiality for the friend of their mother4 ,i was not deceived in my prognostic2 the meeting was an interesting one4 ,the eyes of ,mariana overflowed at meeting1 after so long an interval1 the husband and progeny of the dearest and most revered friend she had ever known2 the mourning we wore reminded her how lately her incomparable patroness had been committed to the grave4 ,my girls were struck with the resemblance of ,mariana to their mother4 ,accident had prevented us from cultivating almost any intimate connections out of our own family from the period of our exile2 my girls had therefore never met with a person who approached in any degree so near their mother in accomplishments1 in skill1 in turn of thinking and opinion4 ,mariana came up to my warmest hopes as a protector and companion for my children2 her unhappy marriage1 by concentrating her thoughts and expectations in herself1 had perhaps rendered her more exemplary in carriage1 and more elevated in sentiment1 than she would ever have been without it4 ,at ,st4 ,lizier ,i passed myself for monsieur ,valmier1 the guardian of the orphan heiresses of ,st4 ,leon4 ,it fortunately happened that my paternal estate was at this time upon sale4 ,i determined to become the purchaser1 and to settle my girls in the scene of their nativity4 ,i procured an agent1 and despatched him with an ample commission for that purpose4 ,having adjusted this point1 ,i resolved to make a tour with my daughters1 through ,languedoc1 ,dauphin1 and the provinces usually known by the denomination of the south of ,france4 ,i wished to familiarise them to the society of madame ,chabot1 and to assist them in discerning her merits under a variety of points of view4 ,i asked them whether they would not be delighted to obtain her as a companion1 who might assist and conduct them in such points as only a woman of understanding and experience is competent to4 ,they1 every one of them1 listened to the idea with pleasure4 ,at length ,i received the information that the purchase of ,st4 ,leon was completed1 and ,i proceeded to the critical disclosure that my daughters were on the point of being separated from their father4 ,they listened to the communication with astonishment and terror4 ,they had entered successively into the feelings of their deceased mother1 and ,i am well persuaded felt a less ardent attachment to my person than they had done at the cottage of the lake of ,constance4 ,but1 culpable and criminal as ,i had been1 ,i was not destitute of every virtue1 and they could not extinguish in themselves the respect they had so long entertained for me4 ,habit has a resistless empire over the human mind2 and1 when we reflect with how much reluctance we consent to the removal of a tree or a hedge1 to the sight of which we have been accustomed1 it will not be wondered at that my daughters could not calmly think of so complete a separation from their father4 ,the impression of their mother's death was yet green1 and to lose me1 was to become orphans a second time4 ,but ,i had fully meditated my plan1 and was peremptory4 ,that ,i might withhold from them no advantage it was in my power to confer1 ,i gave them ,bernardin for their superintending bailiff and steward of their property4 ,our parting was not less painful and melancholy1 than its occasion was extraordinary and its mode uncommon4 ,it took place at the town of ,montauban4 ,i saw my dear children set forward on their journey1 and ,i knew not that ,i should ever behold them more4 ,i was determined never again to see them to their injury2 and ,i could not take to myself the consolation1--on such a day1 in such a month1 or even after such a lapse of years1 ,i will again have the joy to embrace them4 ,in a little while they were out of sight1 and ,i was alone4 ,the reader will perhaps agree with me1 that no man had more exquisitely enjoyed the dearest ties of society than ,i had1 and that perhaps few men were ever better formed to enjoy them4 ,this complete and dreadful separation1 this stroke that seemed to cut me off abruptly from every thing most valuable that the earth contains1 was not the result of any of the ordinary necessities of human life4 ,still less was it the dictate of alienation or indifference4 ,no2 it was the pure effect of love1 of a love so strong1 complete1 and uncontrollable1 as inflexibly to refuse every thing that could be injurious to its objects4 ,i own ,i could not thus have parted with ,marguerite4 ,her idea was mingled with the vital springs of my existence2 and scarcely any power less resistless than death could have made me consent to pass an entire day without her society4 ,but then it is to be considered1 that my daughters were in the morning of life2 their hopes were untarnished1 their prospects not obscured by a single cloud2 and that the crime would probably have been greater1 obstinately to have made them the partners of my misfortunes and disgrace4 ,there are persons who will regard this passage in my history as culpable1 and the testimony of a cold and unsusceptible heart4 ,i contemplate it1 even at this distance of time1 as the noblest and most virtuous effort of my life2 and a thousand circumstances have occurred since1 to induce me to congratulate myself that ,i had the courage to achieve my purpose4 ,,chapter ,,xxix4 ,nineteen years had now elapsed from the day that had witnessed my union with ,marguerite de ,damville4 ,in all that time ,i had never been alone4 ,alone in a certain sense indeed ,i had stood at ,paris in the period that had led to my exile1 and at ,soleure in that which immediately succeeded it4 ,in each case ,i was solitary1 and my solitude was unhappy4 ,but my unhappiness was then in a certain sense spontaneous2 my solitude was a luxury in which ,i felt myself impelled to indulge4 ,he that has experienced both1 will readily acknowledge the extreme difference between the misery we embrace and the misery from which we shrink with abhorrence and loathing4 ,i relinquished in the former instances my dearest connections1 my proper post and situation2 but ,i felt that ,i could return to the one and resume the other at pleasure4 ,i repeat it therefore1 ,then ,i had not been alone1 and now ,i was alone4 ,the same motive1 which in this instance made me cut myself off from my daughters that ,i might not be the cause of their misery1 forbad me to be the parent of a future offspring upon whom ,i might entail similar misfortune4 ,tell me then1 was ,i not alone8 ,i recollected the words of the stranger1 wrung from him by the excess of his misery at the summer-house of the lake1 8,alone--alone6--friendless--friendless6 0 ,i began to penetrate the enigma of his history4 ,i fixed my daughters with an ample revenue in the chteau of ,st4 ,leon2 ,i re-purchased for them all my paternal property4 ,i waited some time at ,montauban to hear of the event of my project1 and their final settlement4 ,i learned with pleasure that they found their situation peaceful1 easy1 and reputable2 ,i enjoined them that they should speak and think of me as dead4 ,i led them to suppose1 when ,i left ,montauban1 that ,i should set out upon an extensive tour1 that ,i should traverse the ,indus and the ,ganges1 and penetrate into the furthest extremities of the ,east4 ,how uncommon1 how pitiable a fate6 ,i became prematurely dead to my country and my race1 because ,i was destined never to die6 ,the first sensation ,i derived from their prosperity1 as ,i have already said1 was pleasure3 my second was that which the devil might have felt1 when he entered paradise for the seduction of our first parents4 ,i contemplated with some degree of malignant envy a happiness of which it was little probable ,i should ever partake4 ,let me not be censured for this3 let any man put himself in my situation1 and say1 whether the pleasure he feels at contemplating the separated happiness of those he loves be not a mingled sensation8 ,with heavy heart ,i sought again the road of ,madrid4 ,though my spirits underwent an extreme depression1 ,i determined not to desert myself or the advantages ,i had purchased at so inestimable a price4 ,i exerted myself to shake off my lethargy1 and rouse the faculties of my soul4 ,i refused to give way to omens of evil portent1 and resolved to see what might yet be made of my endowments4 ,there is no misfortune that has not in it some slight mixture of good4 ,my being now alone1 and detached from every relative tie1 left me at liberty to pursue my projects with a bolder enterprise4 ,the mistake of which ,i accused myself in the former instance1 was the entering too precipitately into the exercise of the gifts of the stranger1 before ,i had properly measured my strength1 and investigated the use and application of my tools4 ,i had suffered sufficiently from the past uncertainty and irresoluteness of my march4 ,i determined1 as far as human precaution could secure its ends1 to encounter no more misfortunes1 to subject myself to no further miscarriages1 but to take care that henceforth the tide of my pursuits should move smoothly onward4 ,i dedicated the six months immediately succeeding my separation from my daughters1 to the joint contemplation of morals and natural philosophy4 ,i was resolved to ascertain the simplest mode of manufacturing wealth1 the wisest methods for lulling the suspicions and controlling the passions of mankind1 and the true science of the use of riches4 ,alas6 ,i had in the sequel frequent occasions to confess1 that1 though ,i had fortuitously entered into possession of the leading secrets of natural magic1 ,i was a mere tyro in the science of man1 at least in the degree in which the exercise of these secrets required the possession of it4 ,nothing material occurred to interrupt the occupations of the winter4 ,my apathy--intellectual activity1 palsy of the heart1--went evenly forward4 ,i made no acquaintance2 ,i was a mere spectator of the busy scenes that passed around me4 ,i was resolved not to entangle myself with rashly formed connections2 and it will commonly be found1 that he1 whose contemplations are principally employed upon some secret and guarded hoard of reflection1 has little propensity to communicate upon idle and indifferent matters4 ,a slight incident indeed disturbed me for a few days during this interval2 but it passed away1 and for the present ,i thought of it no more4 ,during the festival of ,christmas it happened that ,i felt an inclination to be the spectator of a celebrated bull-fight1 that was exhibited before the emperor and his court4 ,for the most part ,i was studious of privacy2 ,i therefore felt the less scruple in indulging this unusual caprice4 ,at the commencement of the spectacle1 ,i was attentive only to the exhibition4 ,i was delighted with the form and beauty of the animals1 with the freedom and grandeur of their motion1 with the terrible energy of their assault and repulse4 ,it was not long1 however1 before my eye was transiently caught by an individual1 who sat in a gallery at no great distance1 and who seemed to view me attentively4 ,his figure bespoke some degree of refinement2 but his eye was fiery1 malicious1 and savage4 ,presently however ,i turned again towards the area1 and thought of him no more4 ,some time after by mere accident ,i looked towards the same gallery1 and observed this man still in an attitude to examine me4 ,it seemed as if he had not removed his eyes from me during the whole interval4 ,this was repeated three or four times4 ,without knowing why1 ,i became anxious and uneasy4 ,i had a confused feeling that ,i had seen the man before1 but whether in ,france1 ,switzerland1 or ,italy1 ,i could not tell4 ,i experienced that sort of disagreeable sensation from looking at his face1 which arises in the mind from an association of the object present1 with some mischief or suffering that was contemporary with its being perceived in a preceding instance4 ,i am now persuaded that this man was one of the multitude to whom ,i had addressed myself from the bench on the hill a short time before my flight from ,pisa1 and that he was among the most eager to interrupt and molest me4 ,but he was apparently a ,spaniard by birth1 and ,i could not at this time develope the mystery that hung about his features4 ,finding that ,i could neither rid myself of his curious and watchful observation1 nor of the disturbance it gave me1 ,i withdrew from the gallery where ,i had hitherto been sitting1 and removed to another gallery on the opposite side of the area4 ,about half an hour after1 looking accidentally round1 ,i saw this very man at my elbow4 ,i then accosted him with the enquiry1 8,do you know me1 sir80 to which he immediately returned1 with a pure ,castilian accent1 8,no1 seor60 ,he then began to be more reserved in his attention to me1 without however entirely withdrawing it4 ,as soon as the entertainment was over1 ,i went away1 and saw no more of my ,spaniard4 ,i began to tax myself with pusillanimity in suffering so insignificant an incident to disturb me4 ,a few days after however ,i suddenly lighted upon him in the street4 ,he was talking to three or four of his countrymen1 and in the progress of his discourse frequently pointed to me4 ,i could now perceive something particularly hostile and ferocious in his countenance4 ,the first impulse ,i felt was1 that ,i would no longer suffer the unquietness and anxiety the sight of him produced in me1 but would go up to him1 and force him to an explanation4 ,i believed however that1 in the temper he indicated1 this could not be done without involving myself in a quarrel2 and ,i thought it wiser to endeavour to conquer in silence an unreasonable sensation4 ,i therefore passed on2 he immediately broke from his company1 and attempted to follow me4 ,this ,i determined not to endure4 ,i laid my hand on my sword with a peremptory look1 and waved to him to desist4 ,his countenance then assumed an air of diabolical malignity1 he shook his head furiously1 and turned down another street4 ,a strange sort of animosity this1 between two persons utter strangers to each other1 and which had as yet not deigned to express itself by a word6 ,but such is the world6 ,we hate we know not why4 ,we are ready to cut each other's throats1 because we do not like the turn of a feature1 or the adjustment of a sword-knot4 ,prejudice1 party1 difference of countries1 difference of religions1 and a thousand wild chimeras of fanaticism or superstition1 are continually arming us against a man1 of whose virtues and qualities we are ignorant1 and into whose benevolent or evil intentions we disdain to enquire4 ,i saw this ,spaniard but once more4 ,it was as ,i was on the point of entering the house1 a part of which ,i occupied4 ,i was particularly mortified at this circumstance4 ,it was plain the man entertained1 for whatever reason1 a determined animosity against me2 and ,i was grieved to furnish him with that advantage for injuring me1 which consisted in being acquainted with the place of my residence4 ,i would have turned away and gone down the street2 but ,i had too fully marked my design of entering the house1 before ,i reconnoitered my enemy4 ,the displeasure ,i felt was so unaccountably great1 that it was with difficulty my courage got the better of it2 and ,i determined not to change the place of my abode4 ,in a short time however1 as ,i have already said1 ,i thought of this incident no more4 ,that it should have disturbed and unhinged me1 in the degree that it had done1 even for a moment1 was a thing ,i could not account for4 ,had the calamities in which the legacy of the stranger involved me1 converted me in so short a time1 from a knight and a soldier1 into a character of that morbid timidity1 as to tremble at every shadow8 ,or1 is there in some human countenances a fascination1 a sort of mysterious sympathy and presentiment1 that makes us cower and quail whenever we meet their eye-beams8 ,several weeks now passed away1 and ,i had nearly forgotten all the circumstances of this seemingly foolish story1 when1 in a little excursion ,i chanced to make from ,madrid to a place about twelve miles distant1 ,i was overtaken upon the road by a cavalier of respectable appearance1 who presently took occasion to enter into conversation with me4 ,he explained to me several of the objects that presented themselves on either side1 told the names of the different nobility and grandees who occupied the villas we saw1 and sometimes entered into the particulars of their history4 ,i at first gave little encouragement to this communicative traveller2 but there was something so polite in his manner1 and intelligent in his discourse1 that ,i could not prevail upon myself to treat him with rudeness or disrespect4 ,after having talked for some time upon indifferent topics1 he led to the general state of literature in ,europe4 ,few subjects could appear less dangerous than this1 as there were few upon which ,i felt myself better qualified to converse4 ,by degrees ,i threw off some of my original reserve1 and ,i found my companion well informed and ingenious1 lively in his manner1 and pertinent in his remarks4 ,by this time the unknown1 having discovered that ,i had only come from ,madrid for a day's relaxation1 invited himself to dine with me at my inn4 ,i departed from my established system of conduct on this occasion1 and admitted his overture4 ,after dinner he gave me some account of himself and his family1 and seemed to expect from me a similar explicitness4 ,i was less pleased with him in this particular1 than ,i had been with his frank and undesigning conversation on the road4 ,strictly speaking however the expectation implied was only a breach of politeness2 ,i had no reason to suppose that he foresaw it to be particularly offensive to me4 ,observing my backwardness1 he immediately changed the subject4 ,presently he remarked1 that by my physiognomy and accent he perceived ,i was a ,frenchman1 and asked me if ,i had known ,cornelius ,agrippa1 who died about twelve years before at ,grenoble4 ,i answered in the negative4 ,the unknown then entered into a warm eulogium of the talents of ,agrippa1 inveighed against the illiberal treatment he had experienced in consequence of his supposed proficiency in magic1 and spoke with great asperity of the priests and inquisitors who had been his persecutors4 ,i became attentive1 watchful1 and suspicious4 ,he went on to expatiate upon the praises of the art magic1 which nothing1 he said1 but the jealousy of churchmen had brought into disrepute2 affirmed that it had been treated with respect1 and counted illustrious1 by the ancients1 in the instance of ,pythagoras1 ,apollonius ,tyaneus1 and others2 and expressed a great desire to become a student of the art himself4 ,this kind of discourse made me repent that ,i had been drawn in so far as to sit down with this unknown1 and admit him as my companion of the day4 ,during the whole time he was the principal speaker4 ,sometimes he paused1 with a seeming desire to hear my sentiments4 ,but ,i had now formed my resolution1 and gave him no encouragement4 ,presently after ,i called for my horse4 ,i should have observed1 that his servant who followed him engaged in conversation with mine1 at the same time that the dialogue began between their masters4 ,seeing me about to depart1 the unknown motioned as if to accompany me4 ,upon this ,i became serious4 8,seor caballero10 said ,i1 8,i have now had the pleasure of your company to dinner3 ,i am going home1 and have the honour to bid you farewell4 ,it is neither my disposition1 nor the habit of the grave and dignified nation among whom ,i at present reside1 to form permanent acquaintances upon casual rencounters3 you will not therefore think ,i violate the hospitality for which ,i am indebted to them1 if ,i intimate to you my desire to return alone40 ,all this ,i said with the grave and formal tone becoming a ,spaniard1 and the unknown had nothing to reply4 ,it was evident however that my dryness chagrined him2 and he even muttered words of resentment between his teeth4 ,i could observe now a degree of hostility and fury in his countenance1 which remarkably contrasted with the pliancy and obligingness of his preceding demeanour4 ,i took no notice however of these circumstances1 and rode away4 ,i have since had sufficient reasons to convince me that these two persons1 whose story1 but for that explanation1 may appear to the reader exceedingly frivolous1 were the one an informer1 and the other a spy of the holy inquisition4 ,the man who had seen me at ,pisa had his imagination terrified and his superstition set in arms by all that he had heard of me in that place2 and thought he could not perform a more meritorious work1 than by giving intelligence to the fathers what sort of person had taken refuge in the metropolis of this most ,catholic kingdom4 ,it was with this view he had watched me1 and at length1 by an accident he deemed peculiarly fortunate1 lodged me in my proper habitation4 ,having given in his denunciation1 my travelling companion was next fastened on me by the contrivance and zeal of the fathers inquisitors4 ,he was a familiar of the holy office2 and it is well known that persons of the fairest prospects and most polite education in ,spain are led by their religious impressions to place a pride in performing menial and even perfidious offices in the service of the inquisition4 ,the kind of dishonour ,i put upon him in parting1 though of a nature he could not openly resent1 ,i fear conspired with his zeal for ,god's and the church's honour1 to induce him to relate a story concerning me1 more modelled by the bitterness of his personal feelings1 than distinguished by a regard to truth4 ,such was the snare1 woven and drawing close round me on all sides for my destruction4 ,i was made uneasy by the rencounter of the traveller1 but by no means aware of the whole extent of the mischief that impended over me4 ,when ,i came to retrace1 point by point1 the discourse he had held1 ,i could not conceive that the turn it had taken originated in accident4 ,i perceived1 with no little grief of heart and concern1 that ,i was known4 ,it was however necessary that ,i should reflect maturely upon the conduct to be pursued by me4 ,i ought not gratuitously to expose myself to danger4 ,but then1 on the other hand1 it is a point of general wisdom1 and was particularly incumbent in my extraordinary circumstances1 not to suffer vigilance to degenerate into restless anxiety4 ,it would be easy for me1 if ,i were not strictly on my guard1 continually to find food for suspicion1 and to surround myself with imaginary plots and dangers4 ,this was a vice that ,i was willing enough to pity in others2 but there was no character that ,i more cordially disdained for myself4 ,there was none more pointedly in opposition to that gallant1 generous1 confiding spirit1 which had distinguished those military heroes of my native soil1 who had been the exclusive object of my earliest admiration1 and whom1 in my present dejected and deserted situation1 ,i still desired to resemble4 ,when ,i came to reflect1 ,i easily perceived that this vice was particularly allied to a life of solitude2 and that he who is cut off from the genuine and happy connections of husband1 father1 and friend1 is of all men most liable1 in their absence1 to conjure up for himself the unnatural intercourses and reciprocations of hostility4 ,it was thus that ,i artificially reconciled myself to my situation1 and obstinately closed my eyes upon those equivocal demonstrations of danger which from time to time were presented to my view4 ,,chapter ,,xxx4 ,such was the state of my mind1 when it happened1 one gloomy evening in the latter end of ,march1 that my valet announced to me three gentlemen who were come to visit me4 ,it was strange3 ,i had no visitors2 ,i indulged no relaxation but that of the street1 and of public places4 ,do you know who they are8 said ,i4 ,i accidentally looked up1 and saw paleness and terror written in his countenance4 ,he had not however time to reply1 before they burst into the room4 ,they were alguazils of the inquisition4 ,they told me their errand was to conduct me to the holy office4 ,i submitted1 and accompanied them4 ,it was already dark4 ,they put me into a litter with the curtains drawn1 and then arranged themselves in silence1 one on each side1 while one brought up the rear4 ,i was taken by surprise3 nothing could be further from my expectation than such an event4 ,as we passed along1 ,i ruminated with myself on the line of conduct it was incumbent on me to pursue4 ,to make an immediate experiment of the fidelity of my guides was a doubtful attempt4 ,if1 for want of time and the opportunity of a tranquil hearing1 ,i miscarried with them1 the trial would be converted into evidence against me4 ,if ,i succeeded1 ,i had then to escape out of ,spain1 in the centre of which ,i now was1 from the hostility of a tribunal1 which was said to surpass all the tribunals on the face of the earth in activity and vigilance4 ,i knew of nothing that the fathers of the inquisition could have against me4 ,i had lived in the most entire seclusion2 and ,i could defy any one to report a single action of mine1 since ,i had entered ,spain1 to my prejudice4 ,i had been wholly occupied with melancholy reflections on the past1 and solitary inventions and devices which ,i purposed to bring forward for the future4 ,i determined not to live for ever the slave of fear4 ,i believed that the best method for defeating a danger1 in many cases1 was undauntedly to encounter it2 and ,i did not imagine that ,i could have a more favourable opportunity for that purpose than the present4 ,i had heard much indeed of the terrors of the inquisition2 but a generous and liberal spirit lends no very attentive ear to horrors1 the trite and vulgar rumour of which only has reached him4 ,i disdained to be blown down with a breath4 ,i believed that the inquisition itself would not venture to proceed criminally against a man against whom nothing criminal had been alleged4 ,in every event1 ,i believed it would never be too late to have recourse to my peculiar prerogatives4 ,upon entering the prison of the inquisition ,i was first conducted to a solitary cell4 ,it is not my intention to treat of those particulars of the holy office which are already to be found in innumerable publications4 ,i have no pleasure in reviving the images of this sojourn of horrors4 ,i know it is unreasonable to despise a man for the miseries and wretchedness he has endured2 but ,i know that such is the human heart1 and ,i will not expose myself to be scoffed at and trampled upon for my misfortunes4 ,i found myself under the necessity1 while in the inquisition1 of submitting to that most profligate of all impositions1 an oath of secrecy as to what ,i had seen1 and what ,i had suffered2 and1 whatever may be the strict morality of such an obligation1 ,i will not ambitiously thrust myself forward in violation of it4 ,i will restrict the story ,i have to relate to the peculiarities that characterised my case1 and enter as little as possible into the general policy of this frontier intrenchment of the ,christian faith4 ,when ,i was brought up to be interrogated1 ,i was assailed with innumerable questions1 the obvious purport of which was1 as much as possible1 to extort from me evidence of every kind that might be injurious to my cause4 ,the object of the inquisition is to defend our holy mother1 the church1 from whatever might defile her sanctity and whiteness4 ,every thing that calls into question the truth of her doctrines1 that pollutes and turns from their original purpose any of her ordinances1 or that implies commerce and league with the invisible enemy of saints1 it is its peculiar province to investigate4 ,the fathers are therefore particularly cautious that they may not1 by confining their questions too much to a single object1 preclude themselves from the chance of discovering danger under all the forms it may assume4 ,it is presumed that he who is a corrupt member of the church of ,christ in one point is unsound and unfaithful in others4 ,the inquisitor who examined me1 first demanded1 whether ,i were informed for what cause ,i was brought before that tribunal8 ,whether ,i did not find myself able to conjecture the nature of my offence8 ,whether ,i did not know the sort of crimes for which men were detained in that prison8 ,he then desired me to recollect myself1 and consider1 whether ,i were not conscious of offence against the holy ,catholic church8 ,whether ,i had never asserted or maintained any doctrines contrary to what mother church asserts and maintains8 ,whether ,i had never1 to my knowledge1 defiled any of the ordinances of ,god1 or applied things sacred to unholy and profane purposes8 ,whether ,i had never invocated the devil8 ,whether ,i had never held any commerce1 or entered into any league1 with the enemy of saints8 ,whether ,i had never performed1 or sought to perform1 preternatural and miraculous acts by unholy means8 ,whether ,i had never vexed1 or sought to vex1 those against whom ,i had enmity1 by secret and forbidden arts8 ,whether ,i had never resided in countries the inhabitants of which were heretics1 and whether ,i had never listened to their discourses and arguments8 ,whether1 when ,i inhabited such countries1 ,i had never assisted at the celebration of divine ordinances performed by heretics1 or in a form which holy church disapproves or condemns8 ,finding that he could gain nothing upon me by these general interrogatories1 the inquisitor next descended to particulars4 ,he enquired concerning the incidents of my ,pisan story1 which1 having first assured myself from the train of his questions that some representation of that unfortunate affair had reached his ear1 ,i willingly related1 to the same extent that ,i had previously done to the marchese ,filosanto4 ,he then proceeded to a great number of questions1 the source of which is to be traced to the commonly received notions respecting sorcerers and necromancers4 ,they were so artfully contrived1 and so large in their scope1 that it was not easy to guess whether they related to any particular accusation alleged against me1 or were formed entirely on general principles4 ,yet some of them were so minute1 so connected1 and arranged so perfectly in series1 that ,i could not but believe they were an echo of the calumnies invented against me at ,pisa1 of which1 however1 as ,i had never collected any regular and detailed account1 ,i could not accurately trace the influence on the present occasion4 ,the inquisitor demanded of me1 ,whether ,i had never seen or held conversation with any supernatural being1 or the spirit of a man departed8 ,whether ,i had never practised diabolical arts to raise the dead8 ,whether ,i had never had a familiar in the form of some insect1 domestic animal1 or reptile8 ,he was particularly subtle and copious in his questions respecting the history of my unfortunate dog1 endeavouring to surprise me in some slip or contradiction in what ,i affirmed on the subject4 ,he asked1 ,whether ,i had never assumed a form different from my real one1 either a different age and appearance1 or a different species of animal8 ,whether ,i had never1 by the agency of my demon1 inflicted sickness1 convulsion-fits1 or death8 ,whether ,i had never caused the mortality of cattle8 ,whether ,i had not the power of being in two places at once8 ,whether ,i had never been seen riding through the air8 ,whether ,i had never been wounded in my absence1 by a blow aimed at my astral spirit or apparition8 ,whether ,i had never possessed books of conjuration or the art magic8 ,whether it had never happened to me that an indifferent person1 indiscreetly perusing a spell or incantation in my possession1 had been maimed or killed by the spirits he had undesignedly evoked8 ,a further object particularly pursued in my interrogatory1 was the detection of my property2 and the questions constructed for this purpose were uncommonly artful and multiplied4 ,the inquisitor told me that the holy office was1 by the nature of its institution1 the guardian and administrator of every person that fell under its animadversion4 ,shut up1 he said1 as ,i must be1 during the pendency of my cause1 and separated from the rest of mankind1 ,i was wholly incapable of superintending my worldly affairs1 which1 unless they were properly looked into1 might in the interval be materially injured4 ,i ought therefore implicitly and without reserve to refer myself in this point to the care of the fathers4 ,if my innocence were established1 as he hoped1 and earnestly prayed to the mother of ,god1 and the saints of ,jesus1 might ultimately happen1 ,i should find the holy office a faithful and qualified steward4 ,if1 on the contrary1 ,i should be proved a heretic and an alien to the ,most ,high1 ,i ought then to rejoice in the beneficent interference of the fathers1 who1 by dedicating my wealth to consecrated purposes1 would mitigate in the eye of the just ,judge of heaven and earth the duration or fierceness of my punishments in a future world4 ,the inquisitor had apparently heard various reports of my riches1 and was inexpressibly chagrined that he should be found so unskilful a member of his profession1 as not to be able to extort from me a full confession on that head4 ,after having employed every artifice of menace and terror1 after having endeavoured to soothe and cajole me by blandishments and persuasion1 and finding all his expedients fruitless1 he poured upon me the full storm of his indignation4 ,he said1 it was apparent that ,i was dealing disingenuously and fraudulently with the delegated guardians of religion2 it was impossible that the expenditure ,i was well known more or less to have incurred could be supported without considerable funds2 and my evident duplicity and concealment in this point must be regarded as a full confirmation of every crime my accusers had alleged against me4 ,in the course of my examinations1 the inquisitor who questioned me gave himself the trouble of entering into a full vindication of the tribunal of which he was a member4 ,he said1 that every thing that was valuable to mankind1 not only in a future state1 but also in the present1 depended upon preserving in full vigour and strength the sacred institutions of the ,christian faith2 and that those who were endowed with powers sufficient for that purpose would be in the highest degree inexcusable in the sight of ,god1 if they did not vigilantly and inflexibly maintain the exertion of those powers4 ,it was an egregious mistake of self-willed and opinionated men1 to suppose that the maintenance of our holy religion was sufficiently provided for by the clearness of its evidence4 ,it was no less dangerous1 to pretend that the stability and duration of the church of ,christ might be confided to the providence of ,god4 ,providence acts by human means2 and it was presumptuous for those who neglected the means to trust that they should nevertheless see the end adequately secured4 ,why had ,providence thought proper to generate an alliance between church and state1 and to place the powers and authority of human society in the hands of the adherents of the ,christian faith8 ,magistrates and governments were thus made the vicars of ,heaven1 and great would be their condemnation if they neglected the trust reposed in them4 ,the great adversary of mankind was incessantly watchful for the destruction of souls2 and1 while he spread abroad his delusions1 it was folly to imagine that evidence alone was powerful enough to counteract them4 ,what judges were the great mass of mankind of the integrity and validity of evidence8 ,the jest of the scorner was ever at hand to turn into ridicule the most sacred mysteries4 ,the opposers of our holy faith were indefatigable in their industry1 and as anxious in their exertions to deprive their fellow-men of every comfort and hope1 as if infidelity1 which was the curse of the human species1 were the greatest blessing that could be conferred on them4 ,the devil was a hard task-master1 and granted no vacation1 night or day1 to those who enlisted themselves in the support of his cause4 ,it might answer well enough the purpose of the vain-glorious theorist1 to suppose that man was a rational animal2 but they who had regarded human society with an observing eye knew that it was otherwise4 ,delusion would ever be too hard for evidence1 and the grossest falsehoods prove victorious over the most sacred truths1 if what was illiberally and maliciously styled persecution were not brought in aid of the cause of religion4 ,the passions of mankind were on the side of falsehood2 man1 unrestrained by law1 was a wild1 ferocious1 and most pernicious beast1 and1 were it not for the wholesome curb of authority1 would speedily throw off all ties and limitations1 human and divine4 ,nothing could more clearly prove1 that the heretical followers of ,luther and ,calvin1 who had lately sprung up for the plague of mankind1 whatever they might pretend1 were in reality the determined enemies of all revelation1 than their continual demand1 that the cause should be tried by discussion1 and that every man should be defended in the exercise of his private judgment4 ,they could not but know1--every man not totally robbed of all power of discernment must know1--that1 if this demand were once granted1 it would prove a blow at the root of every sentiment of religion4 ,the inquisition therefore was the most salutary institution that had ever been devised2 and the future welfare of mankind wholly depended upon the maintenance of its powers and its maxims4 ,by a moderate and judicious exhibition of terror1 it superseded the necessity of innumerable punishments4 ,the inquisition was not capricious and uncertain in its policy2 it acted under the direction of immutable laws2 it held a tender1 but a firm rein upon the extravagances and madness of mankind4 ,nothing was more notorious1 than that a regular and systematical proceeding was both more effectual and more generous than one that was fickle4 ,he defied the whole history of the world to produce an example of so merciful a tribunal4 ,the great end of its policy was the reclaiming of sinners and the multiplication of penitents1 who1 after a gentle and salutary discipline1 were again by holy church received into her bosom2 and even when they delivered the finally impenitent to the flames1 it was to the flames of a purifying fire1 which by destroying the flesh redeemed or diminished the punishments of a future world4 ,he knew that an outcry had been artfully raised against the proceedings of the holy office4 ,but it was easy to see that its enemies1 under the pretence of compassion for its victims1 concealed an inveterate animosity against property1 religion1 and civil society4 ,the anabaptists had thrown off the mask1 and discovered their true designs2 and the rest were only more plausible and specious1 in proportion as they were more timid4 ,the present was the most important crisis that ever occurred in the history of the world4 ,there was a spirit at work1 that aimed at dissolving all the bonds of civil society1 and converting mankind into beasts and savages4 ,who had not heard of the levellers1 millenarians1 and fifth-monarchy-men1 who1 under the specious guise of disinterestedness and an universal love of mankind1 had nothing in view but the most sacrilegious and unprincipled depredations8 ,it was true that the preachers of these doctrines were utterly contemptible both for numbers and talent3 but it would be found a short-sighted policy1 to overlook these desperate assailants on account of the poorness and meanness of their qualifications4 ,for his own part he did not hesitate to say1 that human society would owe its preservation1 if it were preserved1 to the merciful yet vigorous proceedings of the court of inquisition4 ,the misrepresentations that were invidiously made of the present firm and vigilant system of policy would be heard for a day1 and then universally abandoned4 ,posterity1 he was well assured1 would do full justice to the sagacity and soundness of the conduct of this calumniated and much injured institution4 ,the reader will forgive me if the panegyric thus elaborately pronounced by the inquisitor who examined me1 upon the court of which he was a member1 had not all the weight with my mind at the moment ,i heard it which he will probably ascribe to it in the calmness of the closet4 ,it is so difficult to be impartial in our own cause6 ,the candid mind will no doubt make a large allowance for the unhappy situation in which ,i now stood1 and the bitter and galling thoughts that preyed upon my memory4 ,but1 if ,i am chargeable with temporary injustice in the judgment ,i then passed on the arguments of the inquisitor1 ,i flatter myself that ,i have been able1 after the interval that has elapsed1 to give a true and adequate statement of them4 ,beside these reasonings on the necessity of a wholesome restraint on the privileges of speaking and writing1 the father in another of my examinations condescended to delineate to me the mysteries of the world of spirits4 ,he reminded me that in the first grand rebellion upon record1 that of the fallen angels1 of which he considered the present defection under ,luther and ,calvin as in some measure a counterpart1 a third of the host of heaven had been thrust out of the celestial mansions4 ,these accursed spirits had since been permitted to pursue their machinations on the face of our earth4 8,the devil1 like a roaring lion1 goeth about1 seeking whom he may devour40 ,the oracles of the heathens1 the temptations of ,job and of our ,saviour1 and the demoniacs of sacred writ1 were examples of the extensive power which ,heaven had thought fit to allow him4 ,men of a sceptical and feeble understanding had been tempted to doubt whether this was consistent with the wisdom and goodness of ,god4 ,but1 though it was in vain for us to pretend to fathom the depth of the divine mysteries1 there were certain reasons that were sufficiently obvious to every ingenuous mind4 ,there were persons in all ages of the world1 who1 like the ,sadducees in the time of our blessed ,saviour1 were inclined to affirm 8that there was no resurrection1 neither angel1 nor spirit20 and ,god permitted the lying wonders of infernal agents the more completely to confound the unbelief of his enemies4 ,he who witnessed the wonderful operations of witchcraft1 or saw the ghost of a man departed1 could not doubt of the interference of invisible agents in the concerns of our nether world2 and1 if there were devils and apparitions1 it would be to the last degree unreasonable to deny the existence of ,god1 or the miracles of ,christ4 ,these were to be received as the grounds of the divine permission of sorcerers1 necromancers1 and witches4 ,but the rules of the divine conduct were not to constitute the rules of ours4 ,he might permit the agency of invisible malice1 because he saw things upon an unlimited scale1 his judgments were infallible1 and he could say to ,beelzebub himself1 8,thus far shalt thou go1 and no further40 ,those to whose care was intrusted the welfare of mankind here or hereafter were bound as far as possible to oppose themselves to the empire of ,satan4 ,his power was given him only for a time1 and1 if not strictly restrained of ,god and the powers ordained of ,god1 it would over-run every thing1 and replunge all this beautiful scene of creation in its original chaos4 ,there was an endless and eternal war between ,god and the devil1 and the governors of the church were ,heaven's field-officers and pioneers for carrying it on4 ,of all the crimes1 he added1 to which the depravity of human nature had given birth1 the most astonishing and the most horrible was that of diabolical commerce4 ,that human creatures should be so far infatuated1 as to enter into league with the declared enemy of souls1 and for the possession of a short-lived and precarious power to sign away their spirits to eternal damnation1 was so extraordinary as to have been wholly unworthy of credit1 were it not supported by evidence as strong and irresistible as that of the miracles of ,jesus ,christ himself4 ,the persons who thus voluntarily made themselves accursed before ,god deserved to be regarded with alienation and horror by the whole human race4 ,every man that saw them was bound by his baptismal engagements to destroy them2 and whoever administered to them the smallest portion of food1 drink1 or comfort1 thereby rendered himself a party to their guilt4 ,the inquisition especially had declared against this race of men eternal war1 and considered their crime as more complicated1 audacious1 and pestilential1 than any other branch of heresy4 ,having1 for his own part1 no doubt that ,i was one of these noxious and enormous reprobates1 he exhorted me to make a voluntary confession of my evil deeds1 and1 by submitting readily to the tortures and punishments of this world1 endeavour to free myself1 if it were yet possible1 from those of the world to come4 ,these discourses of the inquisitor were variously interspersed through the three examinations to which ,i was subjected a short time after ,i became an inhabitant of the holy house4 ,on my part ,i endeavoured to the best of my power to repel the imputations cast upon me1 to establish my innocence1 and to confound the severity of my oppressors4 ,i told the inquisitor1 whatever might be the force of his arguments respecting heresy and dealings with the devil1 they were nothing to me4 ,i was no ,lutheran1 no anabaptist1 no necromancer1 no underminer of the faith of others1 or ally of the prince of the infernal regions4 ,i proudly and earnestly demanded to be confronted with my accusers4 ,i asked my examiner in his turn1 ,what sort of justice that was1 which pretended to proceed capitally against its prisoners upon secret and unavowed accusations8 ,he endeavoured to stop me4 ,he told me that ,i was not brought there to arraign the methods and practices of their court2 that it did not become a prisoner put upon his defence to insult his judges2 that this contumacy could not be regarded but as an aggravation of my guilt2 and that ,i was bound strictly and simply to answer the interrogatories that were proposed to me4 ,the rebuke of the inquisitor was unavailing4 ,my spirit was wrought to too high a pitch to be thus restrained2 ,i was too firmly resolved to give the utmost force of mind and truth to the topics of my just defence4 ,it is the practice of the inquisition for the prisoner to sit during his examination4 ,i started upon my feet4 8,the mode of your proceeding10 cried ,i1 8is the mockery of a trial4 ,from your fatal bar no man can go forth acquitted4 ,how is a story to be refuted1 when hardly and with difficulty you suffer your prisoner to collect the slightest fragments of it8 ,if ,i would detect a calumny1 is it not requisite that ,i should be acquainted with its history1 and know its authors and propagators8 ,then ,i may perhaps be able to confound their forgeries1 to show the groundlessness of their allegations1 to expose the baseness of their purposes and the profligacy of their characters4 ,i am informed of nothing2 yet ,i am bid1 first to be my own accuser1 and then to answer the accusations of others4 ,it is only by following a falsehood through all its doublings that it can be effectually destroyed4 ,you bid me unravel a web1 and will not suffer me to touch it with one of my fingers4 ,the defence of the purest innocence is often difficult1 sometimes impossible1 against the artfulness of a malicious tale1 or the fortuitous concurrence of unfavourable appearances4 ,but you strip innocence of those consecrated weapons by which only it can be defended4 ,give to an accusation the particulars with which what really happens must always be attended1 give to it the circumstances of place and of time1 lay aside the ambiguity and generalities in which you shelter yourselves1 and then1 perhaps then only1 it can be victoriously repelled4 ,you ask me a thousand various and artfully constructed questions4 ,what sort of a man do you imagine me to be8 ,i am not a fool1 that ,i should be inveigled2 ,i am not a boy1 that ,i should be menaced into confessions4 ,cease your base and unprincipled arts6 ,i will furnish no materials against myself4 ,if you know anything against me1 avow it6 ,propose it1 and ,i will answer4 ,think not to patch up a miserable accusation out of the words which inadvertence or weariness may cause me to utter4 ,shame on your institution6 ,may infamy overtake the system of your proceedings6 ,that religion which is supported by such means is viler than atheism4 ,that civilisation which has its basis in despotism1 is more worthless and hateful than the state of savages running wild in their woods4 8,do you not perceive that the language ,i am now holding to you is the exclusive privilege of conscious innocence8 ,the indignation ,i express is no artificial rage1 studiously contrived to overbear accusation4 ,you have it1 as it flows spontaneously to my tongue1 warm from the promptings of an honest heart4 ,if ,i could have consulted a friend1 it is probable he would have dissuaded me from my present demeanour as impolitic4 ,if ,i were governed by the dictates of an ordinary prudence1 ,i should have displayed less ardour1 less resentment4 ,but ,i am willing to try whether shame cannot yet be lighted up even in the cheek of an inquisitor40 ,the father who examined me1 having in vain endeavoured to check the current of my invective1 changed his manner1 and assumed a tone diametrically the reverse of mine4 ,he professed that he felt much compassion and interest for my misfortune1 and should deem himself happy if he could be the instrument of my deliverance4 ,the language ,i had uttered was highly indecorous1 and such as seemed in itself to call for a rigorous penance4 ,but he should not think himself worthy the name of a man1 if he did not make suitable allowance for the bitter and extravagant sentiments1 that would occasionally find their way into the mind of one in my unfortunate situation4 ,so circumstanced1 men would often mistake their friends for their enemies4 ,i regarded the inquisition as my enemy3 it was in reality my firm and disinterested friend2 zealously watchful for my body1 my soul1 and my estate4 ,other courts had other maxims of proceeding1 because their motives of action were different2 and it was but just that they should furnish their prisoners with a defence against their frailty4 ,but the breast of an inquisitor was accessible to no sentiment but that of love2 a burning love of ,god2 love of the church2 love of the prisoner1 who might be wrongfully accused2 love of the penitent1 whom he reconciled to our common mother1 the church2 love even of the incorrigible heretic whose body he burned for the good of his soul4 ,the inquisitor did not discover to the prisoner the evidence adduced against him2 that was between ,god and the inquisitor's conscience4 ,but the suppression which was thus practised rendered him doubly scrupulous and sceptical as to the evidence he received2 he sifted it with a severity that the prisoner would in vain endeavour to imitate2 and the rules of evidence in that court were so guarded1 punctilious1 and minute1 as to render any mistake in its proceedings altogether impossible4 ,for a man to be once a prisoner of the court of inquisition1 by a salutary prejudice which prevailed through the catholic world1 rendered him for ever infamous4 ,this was another cause of the extreme wariness and caution1 with which that court was accustomed to proceed4 ,they first listened to the accuser1 who was obliged to give in his information on oath4 ,they then instituted a secret enquiry against the party accused2 and1 till they had collected abundant ground for their proceeding1 they did not venture to touch a hair of his head4 ,they elaborately classed all the different degrees of evidence into half proof1 full proof1 proof less than half1 and proof less than full4 ,when these things were duly considered1 it would appear certain that no court that had at any time existed on earth1 had ever been so tender in its proceedings1 so pure in its incitements1 and so every way superior to the attacks of calumny and malice1 as the court of inquisition4 ,with respect to myself in particular1 he said1 they had not apprehended me and put me upon my defence1 without previously assembling a large body of miscellaneous and circumstantial evidence4 ,the evidence they had drawn from myself was negative only1 but it was strong3 the obscurity that hung about my person1 who ,i was1 and whence ,i came2 and the obscurity that hung about my fortune1 a great visible expenditure in ,spain or in ,italy1 and no visible means4 ,these were not the signatures and tokens of innocence4 ,they tended strongly to confirm the accusation under which ,i laboured4 ,yet so tender was the inquisition in its proceeding1 and so chary of its reputation1 that upon these accumulated proofs and presumptions1 they were not prepared to pronounce against me4 ,they would hear me again and again4 ,they would give me time to recollect myself1 and for this purpose they would order for me a coarse and scanty fare1 and a solitary cell4 ,i might depend upon it my contumacy should be overcome4 ,the fundamental principle of their proceedings was borrowed from that humane and compassionate maxim of the old ,roman law1 ,de vita hominis nulla cunctatio est longa2 and ,i should accordingly find them free from all precipitation and impatience1 and ready to indulge me with a residence1 however long1 in their prisons1 till my case had been sifted to the bottom4 ,,chapter ,,xxxi4 ,the indulgence thus ostentatiously proclaimed by the father-inquisitor was not exactly to my taste4 ,finding that all the energy of mind ,i could apply to my defence was vain1 ,i determined to have recourse to a different mode of proceeding4 ,i received three admonitions1 as they call them1 the substance of which ,i have already recited1 in the course of the first ten days of my confinement1 and ,i then for some time heard of the inquisitor no more4 ,i understood that it was frequently the practice1 after three admonitions1 not to bring up the prisoner for further hearing during a whole year2 and it appeared sufficiently probable from the last words addressed to me by my judge1 that this policy was intended to be employed in my case4 ,without further delay therefore ,i resolved to recur to the expedient in the use of which my power was unbounded1 and by a brilliant offer at once to subdue the scruples1 and secure the fidelity1 of the person or persons upon whom my safe custody might be found to depend4 ,all that was necessary was to convince the party to whom ,i should propose the assisting me1 of the reality of my powers2 and then to put carte blanche into his hands1 or rather to ascertain at once the extent of his hopes and demands1 and by a spirited and peremptory conduct to yield them all4 ,in the period which1 immediately previous to my present imprisonment1 ,i had devoted to the meditation of my future plans and the review of my past1 ,i had severely accused myself of half measures1 and had determined to abjure all hesitation and irresoluteness for the time to come4 ,it is not indeed to be wondered at1 that1 possessing a power so utterly remote from common ideas and conceptions1 and which1 speaking from experience1 ,i do not hesitate to affirm no mere effort of imagination is adequate to represent1 ,i should have acted below the prerogatives and demands of my situation4 ,this mistake ,i would make no more4 ,i would overwhelm opposition by the splendour of my proceedings1 and confound scruples by the dignity and princely magnificence of my appearance4 ,unshackled as ,i was with connections1 and risking no one's happiness but my own1 ,i proposed to compel the human species to view me from an awful distance1 and to oblige every one that approached me to feel his inferiority4 ,it would be to the last degree disgraceful and contemptible in me1 being raised so far above my peers in my privileges1 if ,i were to fall below the ordinary standard of a gallant man in the decision and firmness of my system of conduct4 ,decision and firmness were the principles to be exercised by me now2 dignity and magnificence must await their turn hereafter4 ,it was not long before ,i embraced an opportunity of speaking to the man who waited on me with my daily allotment of provisions1 and ,i designed as shortly as possible to proceed to that species of argument1 in which ,i principally confided to engage him in my cause4 ,but he did not suffer me to utter a sentence before with a very expressive gesture he interrupted me4 ,i had remarked already the silence which seemed for ever to pervade this dismal abode2 but ,i had not ascribed importance enough to this circumstance1 to suppose that it could materially interfere with the project ,i had formed4 ,i now perceived the countenance of my attendant to be overspread with terror and alarm4 ,he put his hand upon my mouth1 and by his attitude seemed earnestly to insist upon my conforming to the rules of the prison4 ,i was not however to be thus diverted from my purpose4 ,i seized his hands1 and began again to pursue the discourse ,i had meditated4 ,this proceeding on my part induced him to break the silence he had hitherto preserved4 ,he told me that if ,i did not instantly set him at liberty1 he would alarm the prison4 ,i loosed his hands4 ,i then by every gesture ,i could devise endeavoured to prevail on him to approach me1 to suffer me to confer with him in the lowest whisper1 and assured him that he should have no reason to repent his compliance4 ,i might as well have addressed myself to the walls that inclosed me4 ,he would not stay an instant2 he would yield in nothing4 ,he burst from me abruptly1 and1 closing the door of my cell1 left me in solitude and darkness4 ,in the evening of the day of this attempt the keeper of the prison entered my apartment4 ,when he appeared1 ,i began to flatter myself that in this man ,i should find a better subject for my purpose than in the poor turnkey who had given me so unfavourable a prognostic of my success4 ,i lost no time in saying to him that ,i had something important to communicate2 but he peremptorily commanded me to be silent1 and listen to what he was about to say to me4 ,he told me that ,i had already been complained against for speech1 and ,i was now repeating my offence4 ,he advised me to ponder well the consequences of what ,i was doing4 ,the orders of the inquisition were rigorous and inflexible4 ,the cells were not so substantially separated but that a voice might be heard from one to the other2 yet it had happened more than once1 that a husband and wife1 a father and child1 had for years been lodged next to each other1 without the smallest suspicion on either part of the proximity of their situation4 ,he was astonished at the pertinacity of my behaviour4 ,there was no government on the face of the earth1 he would venture to say1 that had subjects more obedient1 more dutiful and exemplary than the holy inquisition4 ,not a murmur was ever heard2 not a discontent ever expressed4 ,all was humbleness1 thankfulness1 and gratitude4 ,he recommended to me to conform myself to my situation1 and let him hear no further complaints of me4 ,he had no sooner finished his harangue1 than he left me as abruptly as his servant had done4 ,it is not possible to impart any adequate image of the inflexibility of his features1 or the stern composure of his demeanour4 ,i now saw my situation in a different point of view4 ,bribery was of no use1 where all intercourse was denied4 ,great ,god6 into what position was ,i got8 ,in the midst of a great and populous city1 at this time perhaps the metropolis of the world1 ,i heard occasionally from beyond the limits of my prison the hum of busy throngs1 or the shouts of a tumultuous populace4 ,yet ,i was myself in the deepest solitude4 ,like the wretched mariners ,i have somewhere read of1 shipwrecked upon a desert shore1 ,i might remain encaged1 till ,i lost all recollection of ,european language1 and all acquaintance with the sound of my own voice4 ,a jailor from time to time entered my apartment2 but to me he was simply a moving and breathing statue1 his features never moulded into the expression of a meaning1 nor his mouth opened for the utterance of a sound4 ,from the first ,i had been struck with the extreme and death-like silence that characterised the place of my confinement2 but my mind was occupied with other thoughts1 and ,i had not adverted to the cause of the phenomenon4 ,i had then felt little inclination to the converse of a jailor2 my natural disposition was somewhat singular for a ,frenchman1 and inclined to taciturnity3 ,i had resolved to make a fair and ample trial of the power of a just defence1 where my innocence was so complete and ,i was entirely disengaged from those unfavourable appearances which had constituted my misfortune at ,constance2 and ,i even rejoiced1 that a silence1 which ,i regarded as casual and individual1 delivered me from all fear of impertinence in my attendant4 ,with how different a temper do we contemplate an incident which1 we persuade ourselves1 continues to operate only because we want inclination to remove it2 and an incident which is violently imposed1 and to which1 with the utmost exertion of our strength1 we cannot succeed to impart the slightest shock6 ,the external object is the same2 its picture in the intellectual sensorium how unlike6 ,what a profound and inconceivable refinement in the art of tyranny is this silence6 ,the jailor might well tell me1 that beneath his roofs there was neither complaint nor murmur1 that the very soul of its inhabitants was subdued1 and that they suffered the most unheard of oppressions without astonishment or indignation4 ,this is the peculiar prerogative of despotism3 it produces many symptoms of the same general appearance as those which are derived from liberty and justice4 ,there are no remonstrances2 there is no impatience or violence2 there is a calm1 a fatal and accursed tranquillity that pervades the whole4 ,the spectator enters1 and for a time misinterprets every object he sees2 he perceives human bodies standing or moving around him2 and it is with the utmost surprise1 if he has leisure and opportunity to observe a little further1 that he finds at last the things he sees to be the mere shades of men1 cold1 inert1 glaring bodies1 which the heaven-born soul has long since deserted4 ,wonderful1 ,i hesitate not to affirm1 is the genuine and direct power of such a situation as that in which ,i was now placed1 upon the human imagination4 ,what was it then to me1 to whom speech was not merely one of those things1 misnamed indulgences1 misnamed luxuries1 upon which the desirableness and the health of human existence depend2 but who had looked to it as the only and the assured means of my rescue from this scene of horrors6 ,i intreat the reader to pardon me1 when ,i confess1 that the operation of the discovery ,i made was so overwhelming and apparently desperate1 that it was some weeks1 ,i might say months1 before my mind recovered its wonted bias and activity4 ,it was towards the close of the period ,i have named1 that a new incident1 concurring with that familiarity which serves in some measure to disarm every mischief of its sting1 restored and re-awakened my mind4 ,i had vegetated now for some time1 if the metaphor can with propriety be applied to existence in a noxious and empoisoned air1 by which all vegetation would have been undermined1 and which the vital principle in man is scarcely competent to surmount2 and in all this period had encountered nothing from without1 nor received any intimation1 that could in the slightest degree interrupt the progressive destruction and waste of the soul4 ,one day1 at the customary hour of my being attended by my warder1 ,i was surprised to see him bring with him a visiter to my cell4 ,the unknown was a man with grey hairs and a silver beard3 though once tall1 he now stooped considerably1 and supported himself with a staff3 his dress was simple and neat1 and his whole appearance prepossessing4 ,a sweet serenity was diffused over his countenance2 yet there were occasionally a fire1 and a contemplative grasp of thought1 expressed in his eyes1 which sufficiently proved to me that his serenity was not the result of vacancy4 ,all this ,i discerned by the faint and uncertain light of a small lamp which the warder had brought with him1 and placed upon my table4 ,the introduction was performed in silence1 and the warder left us alone4 ,the unknown beckoned me to be seated1 for the first emotion of surprise at the entrance of a stranger had caused me to start on my feet2 and1 opening a folding stool he had received from my attendant1 he placed himself beside me4 ,he then addressed me in a low voice1 and told me1 that the humanity of the fathers of the inquisition had given him permission to visit me1 and that1 if ,i would be so obliging1 in conformity to the regulations of the prison1 as to lower my voice to the standard of his1 we were at liberty to confer together4 ,he hoped the conference would be some relief to my solitude1 if not lead to my complete liberation4 ,he then unfolded to me his story4 ,he told me that he1 like myself1 had been committed to the prisons of the inquisition upon an accusation of sorcery4 ,having advanced thus far1 he stopped4 ,he talked miscellaneously and digressively of wizards and their familiars1 of possessions and demons1 of charms1 spells1 talismans and incantations1 even of the elixir vit and the philosopher's stone4 ,sometimes in the progress of this discourse ,i could perceive him observing me with the utmost narrowness1 as if he would dive into my soul2 and again1 particularly when he caught a glance of suspicion in my eye1 with infinite address changing his attitude and tone1 and assuming a surprising air of ingenuousness and gaiety4 ,in a word he was a consummate actor4 ,it was evident1 whether his designs were hostile or friendly1 that his purpose was to make himself master of my secret4 ,i asked him whether the accusation of sorcery which had been preferred against him1 were well founded or a calumny4 ,he evaded that question1 and was only influenced by it to talk more copiously and fluently on other topics1 with the apparent design of making me forget the enquiry ,i had made4 ,he avoided anticipation1 lest he should miscalculate and take wrong ground in my affair2 and1 though superficially he seemed communicative1 ,i found that he scarcely told me respecting himself any one thing definite and clear4 ,he celebrated the clemency of the fathers of the inquisition4 ,he said1 they seemed to regard themselves as the adoptive parents of those they held in their custody1 and were anxious solely for the restoration of souls4 ,in their exterior they were austere1 and had unfortunately contracted a forbidding manner2 but he had soon found1 upon a closer inspection of their character1 that the only way to deal successfully with them was to repose in them a perfect confidence4 ,this panegyric was not resorted to till he had exhausted the various topics by which he had hoped himself to extort my secret from me4 ,i asked him1 whether the effect of his reposing confidence had been an abjuration of sorcery1 and reconciliation to the church8 ,but this question experienced the fate of every other that ,i addressed to him4 ,he only told me generally1 that he had every reason to be satisfied with1 and to speak well of1 the treatment he had experienced in the house of the inquisition4 ,he possessed1 or rather1 as ,i believed1 affected1 a character of thoughtless garrulity and loquacity1 well adapted to cover the strange deviations and abrupt transitions that marked his discourse4 ,it was certainly singularly contrasted with that close and penetrating air which from time to time ,i remarked in him4 ,the reader may deem it surprising and unaccountable2 but certain it is ,i took uncommon delight in this man's company4 ,i pressed him earnestly to repeat his visits1 and would scarcely suffer him to depart1 till he had promised to come to me again the next day or the day after4 ,yet ,i looked on him as my mortal enemy1 and had no doubt that he was one of the infamous wretches1 employed by the policy of the inquisition1 and well known beneath those hated roofs by the appellation of moscas4 ,various reasons may be assigned for my conduct in this particular4 ,let it first be remembered that ,i was alone1 and for months had not heard the sound of my own voice4 ,no incident marked my days2 no object arrested my attention4 ,a dull1 heavy1 pestilential1 soul-depressing monotony formed the history of my life4 ,if in this situation ,i had been visited by a mouse or a rat1 ,i should indefatigably have sought to get within reach of it1 ,i should have put it to my bosom1 and have felt with exultation the beat of an animal pulse1 the warmth of animal life pressing responsively on my heart4 ,with what eager appetite ,i should have mixed in scenes of calamity and cruelty1 intolerable to any other eye1 glad for myself that even upon such terms ,i could escape the frostbound winter of the soul6 ,how ,i should have rejoiced1 like king ,richard of ,england1 to see four grim and death-dealing assassins enter my cell1 like him to struggle and wrestle and contend with my murderers1 though1 as in his case1 wounds and a fatal end should be the result6 ,thus feeling then1 it is little wonderful that ,i should have hailed with pleasure the visit of the mosca4 ,but this was not all4 ,while ,i conferred with1 or rather listened to my visiter1 that pride and self complacency1 which ,i suspect to be the main1 or at least the indispensable1 ingredient of all our pleasures1 revived in my heart4 ,i believed that he was set upon me by these insatiable bloodsuckers of the inquisition1 that he might ensnare me with his questions1 and treacherously inveigle me to the faggot and the stake4 ,i felt a last1 lambent intimation of pride within me1 when my heart whispered me1 8,this man shall not attain his ends40 ,i secretly defied his arts1 and amused myself with baffling his most cunning devices4 ,i had now some one with whom to measure myself4 ,the comparison1 ,i own1 for a descendant of the counts of ,st4 ,leon1 was a humble one2 but it is not permitted a prisoner in the jails of the inquisition to be fastidious in his pleasures4 ,this man ,i played with at my ease1 and laughed at his stratagems4 ,i therefore felt that ,i was his superior1 and1 which was a sensation ,i had not lately been accustomed to1 that ,i was somebody4 ,these feelings recommended to me his visits4 ,but what was much more material1 ,i looked further1 and proposed an ultimate end to this occurrence4 ,let it be recollected what was my unhappiness1 when ,i found myself1 if ,i may be allowed the expression1 suddenly deprived of speech1 and then it will easily be understood how sincerely ,i rejoiced to have this faculty restored to me4 ,speech1 as ,i have already said1 ,i had regarded as the only and assured means of my deliverance from this scene of horrors4 ,i therefore doubted not that from this miserable tool of my oppressors ,i would obtain my enlargement4 ,i stood firmly on my guard4 ,i permitted him to run out the whole length of his own project without interruption4 ,by this delay ,i should better understand his character1 and finally seize it with a more decisive grasp4 ,thus purposing1 ,i allowed three or four visits to pass before ,i opened to the mosca my own proposal4 ,i designed unexpectedly to turn the tables upon him1 to surprise and finish with him at once4 ,i knew not that all this precaution was necessary1 but ,i played for too deep a stake1 not to be anxious to omit nothing1 which hereafter in retrospect ,i might reproach myself that ,i had omitted4 ,the time was at length come1 at which ,i judged it convenient to execute what ,i had planned in my mind4 ,i began with an attempt to mortify and humble my guest in his own eyes1 that he might lose the pride to make the smallest resistance to my proposal4 8,do you think1 my good sir10 cried ,i1 8that ,i have not perfectly understood your intentions all this while8 ,you have pretended to be my friend1 and to come to me for my good4 ,i know that every secret ,i reposed in your fidelity1 every word that ,i might unguardedly have dropped1 every look and gesture that could have been interpreted to my disadvantage1 would have been instantly reported to the fathers of the inquisition4 ,why1 what a poor and miserable fool must you have imagined me to be6 ,how came you into my cell8 ,had you a secret key by which you found your way hither unknown8 ,could you ever have come into my apartment1 if you had not been employed8 ,you fawn upon me1 and are the tame and passive agent of my merciless destroyers6 ,shame on such base and perfidious proceedings6 ,is this religion1 that you should flatter and cajole and lie to a man1 purely that you may have the gratification at last of burning him alive8 ,if you or your masters can make out any thing to my disadvantage1 let them make it out in the way of fair and open trial1 by the production of direct evidence1 and calling on me for my defence4 ,they style themselves the champions of ,christendom and ornaments of our holy faith2 they pretend to an extraordinary degree of sanctity1 and would have all men bow down in mute reverence and astonishment at their godliness2 and yet they have recourse to means so base1 that the most profligate and abandoned tyrant upon record would have disdained to employ them4 ,but1 base as are the judges and assessors of the court in whose prison ,i stand1 even they scorn the meanness of the perfidious task in which you have engaged40 ,the vehemence ,i put into the suppressed and under-tone with which ,i delivered these reproaches1 seemed to produce no emotion in my guest4 ,he dropped his staff upon his shoulder2 he meekly folded his arms upon his bosom1 and answered1 that he had long since learned to bear every contumely for the cause of ,god and the ,redeemer3 they were heaven-directed chastisements1 which his manifold sins and iniquities had amply deserved4 8,hypocrite60 replied ,i1 8would you make me believe that a conscientious motive can prompt such conduct as yours1 can mould your features into a treacherous expression of kindness1 and fill your mouth with lies and deceptions innumerable80 8,no proceedings10 rejoined he1 with an unaltered air1 8are base1 that ,god and his church prescribe4 ,i take up the cross with cheerfulness1 and glory in my shame4 ,the more ignominious in the eyes of an unregenerate world is my conduct1 the more entire and implicit does it prove my obedience to be40 ,my heart swelled within me as he talked4 ,i could lend no attention to such despicable cant1 and was ashamed to see the most profligate conduct assuming to itself the pretensions to an extraordinary degree of sanctity and disinterestedness4 8,come1 come10 said ,i1 8dissembler2 ,i know that nothing could buy a man to so loathsome an office but money4 ,you are some galley-slave1 some wretch1 who by your complicated crimes have forfeited your life to the community1 and are now permitted to earn a miserable existence by lying in wait for the unfortunate1 and engaging in arts at which humanity shudders4 ,i take you upon your own terms2 you are the man ,i want4 ,assist me to escape2 go with me to some safer and less cruel country2 ,i will reward you to the extent of your wishes4 ,give me your hand2 an estate of six thousand pistoles per annum1 without further condition1 waits your acceptance4 ,i invoke all the powers1 sacred to truth and punishers of deceit1 to witness1 that ,i have ability to make good the whole of what ,i promise40 ,while ,i spoke1 ,i could perceive an extraordinary revolution taking place in my guest4 ,the meekness and tranquillity of his countenance subsided2 his eye became animated and alive4 ,i hailed the auspicious omen2 ,i urged my proposal with all the impetuosity ,i could exert and all the arguments ,i could devise4 ,at length ,i paused4 ,i looked again at the countenance of the mosca2 ,i was less pleased than before4 ,the expression did not seem to be that of assent and congratulation2 it was rather of horror and alarm4 8,st4 ,jago1 and all the saints and angels of heaven1 protect me60 exclaimed he4 8,what do ,i hear8 ,a full confession of guilt6 ,and art thou then the confederate of the prince of the powers of darkness8 ,if we were not here1 in the holy house of inquisition1 ,i should die at this moment with fear that the roof would fall and crush us together4 ,i should expect hell to swallow me alive1 for being found in thy unhallowed society40 ,he trembled with every expression of the sincerest terror and aversion4 8#8,thy money perish with thee1' thou second ,elymas1 like him #8full of all subtlety and mischief1 child of the devil1 enemy of all righteousness6' ,blasted be thy offers6 ,have ,i for this devoted myself to the service of ,god1 assiduously sought out the basest and vilest offices of that service1 and loaded myself with ignominy here1 that ,i might obtain a crown of glory hereafter8 and am ,i now to be assaulted with the worst of ,satan's temptations8 ,even so1 ,lord1 if such be thy will6 ,oh1 poor1 miserable1 deluded victim of the arch-deceiver of mankind1 what has the devil done for thee8 ,he has persuaded thee that thou art rich2 and thou wantest every joy and every necessary of life4 ,he has promised to be thy friend2 and he brings thee to the faggot and flames in this world1 as an earnest of thy eternal damnation hereafter40 ,my visiter had no sooner thus poured out the tumult and agitation of his soul1 than he left me abruptly1 and ,i saw him no more4 ,such was the event of my attempt to bribe the officers of the inquisition4 ,in my first experiment ,i could not even obtain a hearing2 in what followed1 my proposals were rejected with all the transports of religious abhorrence4 ,what ,i offered indeed1 however dazzling in the statement1 had not in fact the nature of a temptation4 ,he to whom ,i addressed it gave no credit to my assertions2 he thought that ,i was the mere drivelling dupe of him he called the arch-deceiver of mankind1 or that my money1 when possessed1 would soon change its figure1 and from seeming pieces of solid coin be converted into pieces of horn or of shells4 ,even if he had not apprehended such a metamorphosis1 he would yet have regarded every doubloon he received as the price of his continual adversity here1 and damnation hereafter4 ,i gained nothing favourable for my situation by the trial ,i had made1 but ,i added a new chapter to my knowledge of human nature4 ,i found1 that to be a knave1 it was not necessary to be an infidel3 ,i corrected the too hasty conclusion which ,i had adopted with the rest of my contemporaries1 that he whose conduct was infamous1 must inevitably be destitute of religious impressions and belief2 and ,i became satisfied that a man1 while he practised every vice that can disgrace human nature1 might imagine he was doing ,god service4 ,enough of the interior of the prison of the inquisition4 ,i remained a tenant of this wretched mansion twelve years4 ,though the wretch who had been placed upon me as a spy1 was1 from my proposal to him1 satisfied of my guilt1 his superiors were not so4 ,they found nothing in what he reported definitive as to the nature of my unlawful practices1 and they could extort from me no further confession4 ,they therefore adhered to their favourite maxim1 to avoid the precipitate mistakes of other tribunals1 and to allow their prisoner full time to develop his guilt1 or1 as they pretended1 to establish his innocence4 ,perhaps too the temper of the prince who now filled the ,spanish throne1 contributed to my safety4 ,they could not content themselves with a less punishment for so obstinate and incorrigible a heretic1 than that of the flames2 but1 during the reign of the emperor ,charles1 this species of punishment for heresy was rarely inflicted1 and only one or two contumacious1 at intervals1 were delivered over to the executioner at a time4 ,the institution whose victim ,i had become1 looked for a richer and more abundant harvest from the well-known piety and zeal of his successor4 ,i pass over the rest of the years of my tedious imprisonment ,they had in them a sad and death-like uniformity4 ,what surprising or agreeable adventures can be expected from a man closed up within the four walls of a dungeon8 ,yet it is not altogether the uniformity of this period that determines me not to dwell upon and expand it4 ,twelve years cannot pass in the life of man without many memorable incidents and occurrences4 ,he that should be buried alive in the deepest cavern of the earth1 if he were not an idiot1 or incapable of the task of narration1 and could subsist twelve years in that situation1 could tell of things that occurred to him1 that might fill the busy man of the world with thoughts and speculation almost to bursting4 ,i might unfold the secrets of my prison-house1 but that ,i will not4 ,i refuse the consequences of that story both to my readers and myself4 ,i have no inclination to drive the most delicate or susceptible of my readers mad with horrors4 ,i could convince such1 if such there are1 who suppose my faculties were altogether benumbed or dead1 that it was not so4 ,i did indeed pass days1 perhaps weeks1 in a condition of that sort4 ,but at other times my mind was roused1 and became busy1 restless1 impatient1 and inventive4 ,there was no mode of escape that ,i did not ruminate upon or attempt2 not to mention that1 though my body was restrained1 my mind occasionally soared to the furthest regions of the empyrean1 or plunged into the deepest of the recesses in which nature conceals her operations4 ,all systems of philosophising became familiar to me4 ,i revolved every different fable that has been constructed respecting the invisible powers that superintend the events of the boundless universe2 and ,i fearlessly traced out and developed the boldest conjectures and assertions of demonism or atheism4 ,as the humour of the moment led me1 ,i derived misery or consolation from each of these systems in their turn4--,but memory1 bitter memory1 unperceived by its lord1 is seizing my pen1 and running away with my narrative4 ,enough1 enough of the interior of the prison of the inquisition6 ,,chapter ,,xxxii4 ,philip the ,second1 king of ,spain1 succeeded to the throne of that monarchy about the close of the year #aeee2 but his affairs in ,england and the ,netherlands long withheld him from visiting his beloved country1 and he did not reach its shores1 after a seven years' absence1 till the twenty-ninth of ,august1 #aeei4 ,it may be thought that a public event of this sort could be little interesting to me1 a forgotten prisoner1 immured in the dungeons of the inquisition4 ,the fact was otherwise4 ,the king was desirous of distinguishing his arrival on his native soil by some splendid exhibition or memorable event1 that should at once express his piety to ,god1 and conduce to the felicity of his people3 and he could think of nothing that so signally united these characters as an ,auto de ,f4 ,the ,lutheran heresy1 which in the course of forty years had spread its poison so widely in the different countries of ,europe1 had not failed to scatter a few of its noxious seeds even in this1 the purest and most ,catholic of all its divisions4 ,but ,philip had early proclaimed his hostility against this innovation2 and1 prostrating himself before the image of his ,saviour1 had earnestly besought the divine majesty1 8that he might never suffer himself to be1 or to be called1 the lord of those in any corner of the globe1 who should deny ,him the ,lord40 ,previously to his arrival in ,spain1 directions had been given1 and arrangements made1 respecting the pious and solemn exhibition he demanded4 ,formerly those who by the fathers of the inquisition had been delivered over to the secular arm1 had been executed in the different places where their crimes had been committed1 or their trials been held3 but now it was proposed that all those throughout the kingdom1 who were found properly qualified to satisfy by their deaths the sublime taste of the royal saint1 should be divided into two troops1 and sent1 the one to ,seville1 long the capital of an illustrious monarchy1 and the other to ,valladolid1 which had the honour to be the birthplace of the present sovereign4 ,the troop destined to feed the flames at ,seville was composed of fifty persons1 many of them distinguished for their rank1 their talents1 or their virtues4 ,the troop to be escorted to ,valladolid1 of which ,i was a member1 amounted only to thirty3 but to compensate this deficiency1 ,philip himself had signified his gracious intention to be present1 together with the heir apparent and his whole court1 at that exhibition4 ,the ,spanish nation1 rejoicing in the approach of a monarch who was born among them1 whose manners and temper happily accorded with theirs1 and whom they believed about to fix his perpetual residence in their land1 expected him with all the longings of the most ardent attachment4 ,we1 the unhappy victims of pious and inquisitorial tyranny1 also expected him4 ,our hearts did not pant with a less beating quickness2 though our anxiety arose from emotions of a different nature4 ,valladolid is distant from the metropolis eighty-four miles4 ,we had already been some weeks prepared for this journey1 and piously directed to hold ourselves in readiness to take our part in the solemn national sacrifice4 ,we waited however to receive a previous notice of the day on which the monarch would enter the place of his birth1 since so great was his royal zeal for the cause of religion and civil society1 that he would not consent to be absent from any part of the spectacle2 and accordingly it was not allowed us to enter the scene of our final destination1 till the king of ,spain and the ,indies should be already on the spot1 and prepared to receive us4 ,the auto da f performed at ,seville had the precedence of ours3 it took place on the twenty-fourth of ,september2 and we were indulged with an accurate account of it1 and were present at a public reading of the record of the act1 in the chapel of our prison1 previously to our removal from the metropolis4 ,i will not enter into a minute detail of the scene of this reading1 though the recollection will never be effaced from my memory4 ,of the persons present who were destined to suffer capital punishment1 eight were women4 ,four of them were taken from a single family1 being a grandmother1 a mother1 and two daughters of the noble house of ,alcala4 ,they had all been beautiful of person1 and of a graceful figure2 the youngest of the daughters was in the nineteenth year of her age4 ,their crime1 together with that of the majority of their fellow-sufferers1 was obstinate and impenitent ,lutheranism4 ,the seats of the women were separated from the rest1 and fronted with a close lattice4 ,the men were twenty-two in number1 and their appearance was truly impressive4 ,their persons were neglected1 and their figures emaciated2 their eyes were sunk and ghastly1 and their complexions of a sallow and death-like white4 ,most of them were crippled by their long confinement and the severities they had endured1 and were supported to their seats1 upon an elevated scaffolding with benches raised one above another1 by two apparators1 one on each side of the condemned heretic4 ,god of mercy and benevolence6 is it possible that this scene should be regarded as thy triumph1 and the execution destined to follow1 as a sacrifice acceptable in thy sight8 ,if these papers of mine are ever produced to light1 may it not happen that they shall first be read by a distant posterity1 who will refuse to believe that their fathers were ever mad enough to subject each other to so horrible a treatment1 merely because they were unable to adopt each other's opinions8 ,oh1 no6 human affairs1 like the waves of the ocean1 are merely in a state of ebb and flow3 8there is nothing new under the sun30 two centuries perhaps after ,philip the ,second shall be gathered to his ancestors he died in #aeih1 men shall learn over again to persecute each other for conscience sake2 other anabaptists or levellers shall furnish pretexts for new persecutions2 other inquisitors shall arise in the most enlightened tracts of ,europe2 and professors from their chair1 sheltering their intolerance under the great names of ,aristotle and ,cicero1 shall instruct their scholars1 that a heterodox doctrine is the worst of crimes1 and that the philanthropy and purity of heart in which it is maintained1 only render its defenders the more worthy to be extirpated4 ,what were the ideas and reflections of my fellows1 seated on the benches above1 below1 and on either side of me1 ,i am unable to affirm2 my own could not fail to be pungent and distressing4 ,i understood continually more and more of the mysterious and unuttered history1 of the stranger who died in the summer-house of the lake of ,constance3 ,i found that ,i was only acting over again what he had experienced before me4 ,his legacies had served to involve me in the bitterest and most unheard of miseries1 but were wholly destitute of ability to rescue from the evils themselves created4 ,unbounded wealth ,i found to have no power to bribe the dastard slaves of religious bigotry2 and the elixir of immortality1 though it could cure disease1 and put to flight the approaches of age1 was impotent to repel the fervour of devouring flames4 ,i might have been happy----,i was happy when the stranger found me4 ,i might have lived to a virtuous and venerable old age1 and have died in the arms of my posterity4 ,the stranger had given me wealth1 and ,i was now poorer than the peasant who wanders amidst polar snows4 ,the stranger had given me immortality1 and in a few days ,i was to expire in excruciating tortures4 ,he found me tranquil1 contented1 in the midst of simple1 yet inestimable pleasures2 he breathed into me the restless sentiment of ambition2 and it was that sentiment which at length had placed me on high in the chapel of the prison of the ,catholic ,inquisition4 ,our progress to ,valladolid was slow and solemn1 and occupied a space of no less than four days4 ,on the evening of the fourth day we approached that city4 ,the king and his court came out to meet us4 ,he saluted the inquisitor general with all the demonstrations of the deepest submission and humility2 and then1 having yielded him the place of honour1 turned round his horse1 and accompanied us to ,valladolid4 ,the cavalcade that attended the king broke into two files1 and received us in the midst of them4 ,the whole city seemed to empty itself on this memorable occasion2 and the multitudes that crowded along the road1 and were scattered in the neighbouring fields1 were innumerable4 ,the day was now closed2 and the procession went forward amidst the light of a thousand torches4 ,we1 the condemned of the inquisition1 had been conducted from the metropolis upon tumbrils2 but1 as we arrived at the gates of ,valladolid1 we were commanded1 for the greater humiliation1 to alight and proceed on foot to the place of our confinement1 as many as could not walk without assistance being supported by the attendants4 ,we were neither chained nor bound2 the practice of the inquisition being to deliver the condemned upon such occasions into the hands of two sureties each1 who placed their charge in the middle between them2 and men of the most respectable characters were accustomed from religious motives to sue for this melancholy office4 ,dejected and despairing ,i entered the streets of the city1 no object present to the eyes of my mind but that of my approaching execution4 ,the crowd was vast2 the confusion inexpressible4 ,as we passed by the end of a narrow lane1 the horse of one of the guards who rode exactly in a line with me1 plunged and reared in a violent manner1 and at length threw his rider upon the pavement4 ,others of the horse-guards attempted to catch the bridle of the enraged animal4 ,they rushed against each other4 ,several of the crowd were thrown down1 and trampled under the horses' feet4 ,the shrieks of these1 and the loud cries and exclamations of the bystanders1 mingled in confused and discordant chorus4 ,no sound1 no object could be distinguished4 ,from the excess of the tumult a sudden thought darted into my mind1 where all1 an instant before1 had been relaxation and despair4 ,two or three of the horses pushed forward in a particular direction4 ,a moment after they resiled with equal violence1 and left a wide1 but transitory gap4 ,my project was no sooner conceived than executed4 ,weak as ,i had just now felt myself1 a supernatural tide of strength seemed to come over me4 ,i sprung away with all imaginable impetuosity1 and rushed down the lane ,i have just mentioned4 ,every one amidst the confusion was attentive to his personal safety1 and several minutes elapsed before ,i was missed4 ,,chapter ,,xxxiii4 ,in the lane every thing was silent1 and the darkness was extreme4 ,man1 woman1 and child were gone out to view the procession4 ,for some time ,i could scarcely distinguish a single object2 the doors and windows were all closed4 ,i now chanced to come to an open door2 within ,i saw no one but an old man1 who was busy over some metallic work at a chafing-dish of fire4 ,i had no room for choice2 ,i expected every moment to hear the myrmidons of the inquisition at my heels4 ,i rushed in2 ,i impetuously closed the door1 and bolted it2 ,i then seized the old man by the collar of his shirt with a determined grasp1 and swore vehemently that ,i would annihilate him that instant1 if he did not consent to afford me assistance4 ,though for some time ,i had perhaps been feebler than he1 the terror that now drove me on1 rendered me comparatively a giant4 ,he intreated me to permit him to breathe1 and promised to do whatever ,i should desire4 ,i looked round the apartment1 and saw a rapier hanging against the wall1 of which ,i instantly proceeded to make myself master4 ,while ,i was doing this1 my involuntary host1 who was extremely terrified at my procedure1 nimbly attempted to slip by me and rush into the street4 ,with difficulty ,i caught hold of his arm1 and1 pulling him back1 put the point of my rapier to his breast1 solemnly assuring him that no consideration on earth should save him from my fury1 if he attempted to escape a second time4 ,he immediately dropped on his knees1 and with the most piteous accents intreated me to spare his life4 ,i told him that ,i was no robber1 that ,i did not intend him the slightest harm1 and that1 if he would implicitly yield to my direction1 he might assure himself he never should have reason to repent his compliance4 ,by this declaration the terrors of the old man were somewhat appeased4 ,i took the opportunity of this calm to go to the street door1 which ,i instantly locked1 and put the key in my bosom4 ,nothing but the most fortunate concurrence of circumstances could have thus forwarded my escape4 ,the rearing of the horse of the life-guardsman was purely accidental4 ,the concourse and press of the crowd from all sides could alone have rendered this circumstance of any magnitude4 ,the gap which was made by the pushing forwards and resiling of the horses continued barely long enough for me to spring through1 and closed again in an instant4 ,it is astonishing that the thought of escape should have thus suddenly darted into my mind1 which1 but a moment before1 was in a state of dejection1 equally incompatible with activity and with hope4 ,that in the lane down which ,i rushed ,i should have met no human creature1 and that the first open door ,i saw should lead to the residence of a decrepid old man1 who appeared to be its single inhabitant1 were occurrences equally extraordinary1 yet seem to have been both indispensable to my safety4 ,one point more concurred with this fortunate train1 and assisted to still the palpitations of my beating heart3 ,i perceived1 by certain indications in the countenance of my host1 that he was by parentage a ,jew4 ,i presently concluded1 that he was what in ,spain they denominate a new christian2 for that otherwise he would not have been allowed to reside at large in a ,spanish city4 ,but1 upon that supposition1 ,i did not believe that christianity was very deeply mingled up in him with the vital principle3 the converts of the inquisition are not conspicuous for their sincerity4 ,now1 then1 for the first time ,i thought1 in the course of twelve years1 ,i had opportunity to communicate with a man1 whose soul was not enslaved to the blood-thirsty superstition of this devoted country4 ,all ,i had seen during the period of my confinement were hyenas1 tigers1 and crocodiles--they were not men4 ,i had no sooner soothed my host into a temper to listen to my story1 than ,i told him with all imaginable frankness whence ,i came1 and to what ,i had been destined4 ,the mention of sorcery however1 and preternatural practices1 ,i suppressed2 for ,i suspected that persons of all religions entertained an equal horror against these4 ,i suffered him to imagine that the allegation against me had been the crime of heresy3 all sects of the christian superstition might be supposed equally obnoxious or acceptable to a ,jew4 ,i emphatically appealed to the persecutions which had been so long directed against the religion of his ancestors1 and observed how disgraceful it would be in him to assist the operation of a principle1 the effects of which his fathers had so deeply deplored1 and so perfectly abhorred4 ,i assured him that ,i would bring him into no danger1 and that all ,i asked was the protection of a few hours3 ,i would leave him in the course of the following day1 and he should hear of me no more4 ,i reminded him1 that the danger he had to fear was in betraying1 not in protecting me4 ,the inquisition looked upon every new christian with an eye of the severest jealousy2 and the mere fact1 if known1 that ,i had taken refuge in his house1 would infallibly subject him to the purgation of a temporary imprisonment in their dungeons4 ,it would be in vain for him to affirm that he had no choice in what had occurred2 he was without a witness to confirm his relation1 and the assertions of a man born of ,jewish parents never obtained credit in the court of the inquisition4 ,i added1 with solemn asseverations1 that the moment ,i set foot beyond the territory of ,spain1 ,i would remit to him the sum of six hundred pistoles as an acknowledgment for his kindness4 ,during the whole of my discourse1 ,i watched his countenance with the utmost minuteness4 ,it gradually relaxed from the terror which had at first appeared in it1 to expressions of compassion and complacence4 ,i saw nothing that ought to alarm me4 ,when it was his turn to speak1 he earnestly assured me that he took a warm interest in my story1 and would cheerfully perform every thing ,i required4 ,he was happy that my favourable stars had led me to his habitation1 and would rejoice1 to the latest hour of his existence1 if they rendered him instrumental in preserving the life of a human being from so deplorable a catastrophe4 ,while ,i talked to him1 ,i easily perceived that the arguments ,i used1 which produced the most sensible effect upon his features1 were those of the dangers arising to him from betraying me1 and the reward of six hundred pistoles which ,i promised him in the event of my success4 ,his motives however were blended together in his mind2 and he had no sooner formed a determination1 grounded perhaps upon the meanest considerations1 than he became eloquent in a panegyric of his own benevolence1 by which he was not1 ,i believe1 more anxious to impose upon me1 than to put the change upon himself4 ,i considered all that he said1 his gestures1 and the very tones of his voice1 with eager anxiety2 the terror of the inquisition penetrated to the marrow in my bones2 and the fate awarded against me by that court became inexpressibly more horrible to my thoughts1 now that ,i saw the probability of escaping it4 ,every thing that ,i observed in the ,jew was apparently fair1 plausible1 and encouraging2 but nothing had power to quell the agitations of my apprehensive soul4 ,we were still engaged in discussing the topics ,i have mentioned1 when ,i was suddenly alarmed by the noise of some one stirring in the inner apartment4 ,i had looked into this room1 and had perceived nothing but the bed upon which the old man nightly reposed himself4 ,i sprung up however at the sound1 and1 perceiving that the door had a bolt on the outside1 ,i eagerly fastened it4 ,i then turned to ,mordecai1 such previously to his conversion had been the name of my host3 8,wretch10 said ,i1 8did not you assure me that there was no one but yourself in the house80 8,oh10 cried ,mordecai1 8it is my child6 it is my child6 she went into the inner apartment1 and has fallen asleep on the bed40 8,beware60 ,i answered2 8the slightest falsehood more shall instantly be expiated in your blood40 8,i call ,abraham to witness10 rejoined the once more terrified ,jew1 8it is my child6 only my child60 8,tell me10 cried ,i1 with severity of accent1 8how old is this child80 8,only five years10 said ,mordecai3 8my dear ,leah died when her babe was no more than a year old2 and1 though we had several children1 this single one has survived her40 8,speak to your child2 let me hear her voice60 ,he spoke to her1 and she answered1 8,father1 ,i want to come out40 ,i was satisfied it was the voice of a little girl4 ,i turned to the ,jew3 8,take care10 said ,i1 8how you deceive me now2 is there no other person in that room80 ,he imprecated a curse on himself if there were3 ,i opened the door with caution1 and the little girl came forward4 ,as soon as ,i saw her1 ,i seized her with a rapid motion1 and retired back to a chair4 8,man10 said ,i1 8you have trifled with me too rashly2 you have not considered what ,i am escaped from1 and what ,i have to fear2 from this moment this child shall be the pledge of my safety2 ,i will not part with her an instant as long as ,i remain in your house2 and with this rapier in my hand ,i will pierce her to the heart1 the moment ,i am led to imagine that ,i am no longer in safety40 ,the ,jew trembled at my resolution2 the emotions of a father worked in his features1 and glistened in his eye4 8,at least let me kiss her60 said he4 8,be it so60 replied ,i3 8one embrace1 and then1 till the dawn of the coming day1 she remains with me40 ,i released my hold2 the child rushed to her father1 and he caught her in his arms4 8,my dear ,leah10 cried ,mordecai1 8now a sainted spirit in the bosom of our father ,abraham6 ,i call ,god to witness between us1 that1 if all my caution and vigilance can prevent it1 not a hair of this child shall be injured6 ,stranger1 you little know by how strong a motive you have now engaged me to your cause4 ,we poor ,jews1 hunted on the face of the earth1 the abhorrence and execration of mankind1 have nothing but family affections to support us under our multiplied disgraces2 and family affections are entwined with our existence1 the fondest and best-loved part of ourselves4 ,the ,god of ,abraham bless you1 my child6 ,now1 sir1 speak6 what is it you require of me80 ,i told the ,jew that ,i must have a suit of clothes conformable to the appearance of a ,spanish cavalier1 and certain medical ingredients that ,i named to him1 together with his chafing-dish of coals to prepare them2 and1 that done1 ,i would then impose on him no further trouble4 ,having received his instructions1 he immediately set out to procure what ,i demanded4 ,he took with him the key of the house2 and1 as soon as he was gone1 ,i retired with the child into the inner apartment1 and fastened the door4 ,at first ,i applied myself to tranquillise the child1 who had been somewhat alarmed at what she had heard and seen3 this was no very difficult task4 ,she presently left me1 to amuse herself with some playthings that lay scattered in a corner of the apartment4 ,my heart was now comparatively at ease2 ,i saw the powerful hold ,i had on the fidelity of the ,jew1 and firmly persuaded myself that ,i had no treachery to fear on his part4 ,thus circumstanced1 the exertion and activity with which ,i had lately been imbued left me2 and ,i insensibly sunk into a sort of slumber4 ,the night was now far advanced1 and ,i was still reclined insensible upon ,mordecai's bed1 when suddenly a jargon of various sounds seemed from all sides to assail me4 ,my mind was confused2 ,i heard something1 but seemed wholly unconscious what ,i was1 and where4 ,i wanted to escape from the disturbance2 but it continued1 and even increased4 ,at length ,i was forced to command my attention2 and the first thing ,i perceived was a beating at the door of the chamber4 ,the little girl was come to the bedside1 and endeavouring to shake me4 8,sir1 sir10 she cried in an eager accent1 8my father wants to come in1 and ,i cannot slip the bolt of the door40 ,by slow degrees ,i began to comprehend my situation1 and to recollect what had happened immediately before4 ,i felt greatly alarmed2 ,i feared by the disturbance that ,mordecai had not returned alone4 ,i essayed to speak2 my organs refused their office4 ,i endeavoured to move2 my limbs felt palsied1 and absolutely lifeless4 ,i experienced a sinking and sickness of heart that seemed to be the immediate precursor of death4 ,by listening occasionally to the discourse which the father and the daughter began to hold with each other1 ,i became satisfied that ,mordecai was without a companion4 ,i endeavoured to make the little girl understand that ,i was incapable of rising from the bed2 and1 having at length succeeded1 she communicated the information to her father4 ,with considerable trouble he loosened the door at its hinges1 and entered the room4 ,i found myself in the extremest degree feeble and languid2 the ,jew however assiduously administered to me of cordials he had in his possession1 and by degrees ,i felt myself considerably restored4 ,now1 for the first time1 ,i was at leisure to attend to the state of my strength and my health4 ,my confinement in the inquisition1 and the treatment ,i had experienced1 had before rendered me feeble1 and almost helpless2 but these appeared to be circumstances scarcely worthy of attention1 in the situation in which ,i was then placed4 ,the impulse ,i felt1 in the midst of the confusion in the grand street of ,valladolid1 produced in me an energy and power of exertion which nothing but the actual experience of the fact could have persuaded me was possible4 ,this energy1 once begun1 appeared to have the faculty of prolonging itself2 and ,i did not relapse into imbecility1 till the occasion seemed to be exhausted which called for my exertion4 ,i examined myself by a mirror with which ,mordecai furnished me3 ,i found my hair as white as snow1 and my face ploughed with a thousand furrows4 ,i was now fifty-four1 an age which1 with moderate exercise and a vigorous constitution1 often appears like the prime of human existence2 but whoever had looked upon me in my present condition1 would not have hesitated to affirm that ,i had reached the eightieth year of my age4 ,i examined with dispassionate remark the state of my intellect3 ,i was persuaded that it had subsided into childishness4 ,my mind had been as much cribbed and immured as my body4 ,i was the mere shadow of a man1 of no more power and worth than that which a magic lantern produces upon a wall4 ,these are thy works1 ,superstition6--this the genuine and proper operation of what is called ,christianity6 ,let the reader judge of what ,i had passed through and known within those cursed walls by the effects2 ,i have already refused1 ,i continue to refuse1 to tell what ,i suffered1 and how those effects were produced4 ,enough of compassion1 enough of complaint3 ,i will confine myself1 as far as ,i am able1 to simple history4 ,being recovered1 as far as the cordials and attention of ,mordecai were capable of recovering me1 ,i desired for the remainder of the night to be alone1 except that ,i was still resolved to retain the little ,jewess as the pledge of my safety4 ,i was greatly obliged to my host for the punctuality he had already displayed3 he had found considerable difficulty in procuring the articles of which ,i stood in need1 owing partly to the lateness of the hour1 and partly to the presence of the king1 and the general hurry and confusion which had been produced by the solemn entry of the inquisition4 ,his efforts too to recover me from the languor and lethargy into which ,i had sunk1 had a character of generosity2 and perhaps ,i ought now to have trusted him without a hostage4 ,but my heart was too earnestly bent upon accomplishing its present object1 to afford harbour to the punctilios of delicacy4 ,the same earnestness caused me to insist upon ,mordecai's repairing the injury which the hinges of the door had sustained2 and ,i was careful to satisfy myself that every thing was restored to a state of perfect security4 ,i was now once again alone4 ,the little girl1 who had been unusually disturbed1 and roused at an unseasonable hour1 sunk into a profound sleep4 ,i heard the noise which ,mordecai made in undressing himself1 and composing his limbs upon a mattrass1 which he had dragged for the present occasion into the front room1 and spread before the hearth4 ,i soon found by the hardness of his breathing that he also was asleep4 ,i unfolded the papers he had brought me2 they consisted of various medical ingredients ,i had directed him to procure2 there were also two or three vials1 containing syrups and essences4 ,i had near me a pair of scales with which to weigh my ingredients2 a vessel of water2 the chafing-dish of my host1 in which the fire was nearly extinguished2 and a small taper1 with some charcoal to relight the fire1 in case of necessity4 ,while ,i was occupied in surveying these articles and arranging my materials1 a sort of torpor came suddenly over me1 so as to allow me no time for resistance4 ,i sunk upon the bed4 ,i remained thus for about half an hour1 seemingly without the power of collecting my thoughts4 ,at length ,i started1 felt alarmed1 and applied my utmost force of mind to rouse my exertions4 ,while ,i drove1 or attempted to drive1 my animal spirits from limb to limb1 and from part to part1 as if to enquire into the general condition of my frame1 ,i became convinced that ,i was dying4 ,let not the reader be surprised at this3 twelve years' imprisonment1 in a narrow and unwholesome cell1 may well account for so sudden a catastrophe4 ,strange and paradoxical as it may seem1 ,i believe it will be found in the experiment that the calm and security which succeed to great internal injuries are more dangerous than the pangs and hardships that went before4 ,i was now thoroughly alarmed3 ,i applied myself1 with all vigilance and expedition to the compounding my materials4 ,the fire was gone out2 the taper was glimmering in the socket3 to swallow the julep when ,i had prepared it1 seemed to be the last effort of which my organs and muscles were capable4 ,it was the elixir of immortality1 exactly made up according to the prescription of the stranger4 ,whether from the potency of the medicine1 or the effect of imagination1 ,i felt revived the moment ,i had swallowed it4 ,i placed myself deliberately in ,mordecai's bed1 and drew over me the bed-clothes4 ,i fell asleep almost instantly4 ,i believe my first sleep was perfectly sound and insensible2 but in no long time ,i was visited with the pleasantest dreams imaginable4 ,nothing was distinct2 nothing was attended with the consciousness of my former identity2 but every thing was gay1 cheerful1 invigorating1 and delicious4 ,i wandered amidst verdant lawns1 and flower-enamelled gardens4 ,i was saluted with the singing of a thousand birds1 and the murmuring of a thousand fountains4 ,kids1 fawns1 and lambs frisked and gamboled before me4 ,at a distance1 through an opening in the trees1 ,i discerned nymphs and their swains dancing a variety of antic measures4 ,i advanced towards them2 they approached towards me4 ,fifes1 oboes1 recorders1 and instruments of a hundred names1 commenced a cheerful and melodious concert4 ,myself and the dancers now were met2 they placed me in the midst of them4 ,they began a choral song2 the motion of their limbs conformed to their numbers4 ,i was the theme of the general chaunt2 they ascribed to me the beauty of ,apollo1 the strength of ,hercules1 the invention of ,mercury1 and the youth of ,bacchus4 ,my sleep was not long2 in a few hours ,i awakened4 ,with difficulty ,i recognised the objects about me1 and recollected where ,i had been4 ,it seemed to me that my heart had never beat so vigorously1 nor my spirits flowed so gay4 ,i was all elasticity and life2 ,i could scarcely hold myself quiet2 ,i felt impelled to bound and leap like a kid upon the mountains4 ,i perceived that my little ,jewess was still asleep2 she had been unusually fatigued the night before4 ,i know not whether ,mordecai's hour of rising were come2 if it were1 he was careful not to disturb his guest4 ,i put on the garments he had prepared2 ,i gazed upon the mirror he had left in my apartment4 ,i can recollect no sensation in the course of my life1 so unexpected and surprising as what ,i felt at that moment4 ,the evening before1 ,i had seen my hair white1 and my face ploughed with furrows2 ,i looked fourscore4 ,what ,i beheld now was totally different1 yet altogether familiar2 it was myself1 myself as ,i had appeared on the day of my marriage with ,marguerite de ,damville2 the eyes1 the mouth1 the hair1 the complexion1 every circumstance1 point by point1 the same4 ,i leaped a gulf of thirty-two years4 ,i waked from a dream1 troublesome and distressful beyond all description2 but it vanished1 like the shades of night upon the burst of a glorious morning in ,july1 and left not a trace behind4 ,i knew not how to take away my eyes from the mirror before me4 ,i soon began to consider that1 if it were astonishing to me that1 through all the regions of my countenance1 ,i could discover no trace of what ,i had been the night before1 it would be still more astonishing to my host4 ,this sort of sensation ,i had not the smallest ambition to produce3 one of the advantages of the metamorphosis ,i had sustained1 consisted in its tendency1 in the eyes of all that saw me1 to cut off every species of connection between my present and my former self4 ,it fortunately happened that the room in which ,i slept1 being constructed upon the model of many others in ,spain1 had a stair at the further end1 with a trap-door in the ceiling1 for the purpose of enabling the inhabitant to ascend on the roof in the cool of the day4 ,the roofs were flat1 and so constructed1 that there was little difficulty in passing along them from house to house1 from one end of the street to the other4 ,i availed myself of the opportunity1 and took leave of the residence of my land host in a way perfectly unceremonious1 determined however speedily to transmit to him the reward ,i had promised4 ,it may easily be believed that ,mordecai was not less rejoiced at the absence of a guest whom the vigilance of the inquisition rendered an uncommonly dangerous one1 than ,i was to quit his habitation4 ,i closed the trap after me1 and clambered from roof to roof to a considerable distance4 ,at length ,i encountered the occasion of an open window1 and fortunately descended1 unseen by any human being1 into the street4 ,having with difficulty succeeded1 on this occasion of public solemnity1 in engaging an apartment in one of the hotels of ,valladolid1 ,i sent into it1 as soon as ,i was able1 a chest1 containing every necessary of apparel1 and particularly a suit of clothes4 ,i then changed my dress1 and threw the clothes which ,mordecai had provided into the chest ,i had purchased4 ,as long as they continued safely locked up1 and the key in my possession1 no faculty possessed by any human creature could detect my identity1 and expose me afresh to my former jailors4 ,the only peril under which ,i had before laboured1 was from ,mordecai1 who1 if he had seen me in the garments he had procured1 might have recognised them2 and1 though a peril from this source came barely within the limits of possibility1 it was easily avoided1 and ,i therefore chose to avoid it4 ,i passed the whole of this day in a species of enjoyment1 which1 as it has no parallel in the ordinary transactions of mankind1 so are there no terms in the received languages of the world that are adequate to the description of it4 ,it has often been a subject of melancholy and complaint among mortals1 that1 while the whole vegetable system contains in it a principle of perpetual renewal1 man alone1--the ornament and lord of the universe1 man1--knows no return to youth4 ,when the sun declines in the west1 the flowers droop1 and fold up their frail and delicate leaves2 but soon the eyelids of the morn are again opened1 and again they rejoice in his invigorating beams4 ,upon the approach of winter1 the beech1 the ash1 and the monarch-oak1 scatter their withered foliage over the plains2 but spring reappears1 and nakedness is no longer their reproach1 and they clothe themselves anew in their leafy honours4 ,with what a melancholy sensation does the old man survey his decaying limbs6 ,to me1 he cries1 there is no second morning1 and no returning spring4 ,my head1 pressed down with years1 shall never again erect itself in conscious manhood4 ,these hoary locks shall no more be adorned with the auburn of glossy youth4 ,my weather-beaten trunk shall at no time clothe itself with a smoother rind4 ,a recruited marrow shall never fill these bones1 nor a more vigorous sap circulate through my unstrung limbs4 ,i recollect what ,i was in the prime of manhood1 with vain regrets2 the memory answers no other end than to torment and upbraid me4 ,the useless wish of the old man1 the object of his hopeless sigh1 was mine4 ,common and every-day blessings have little value in the eye of their possessor4 ,the young man squanders the endowments of youth1 and knows not to prize them4 ,if the young man had once been old1 if the old man could again be young1 then1 and then only1 they would justly estimate their wealth4 ,the springy limb1 the bounding frame1 the vigour that sets fatigue at defiance1 and revels in pleasures unexhausted1 would then by the near and conscious comparison1 of feebleness and lassitude1 the drooping limb1 the aching head1 and the frame decayed in all its senses1 be well understood4 ,such was my situation4 ,yesterday ,i was fourscore2 to-day ,i was twenty4 ,yesterday ,i was a prisoner1 crippled in every articulation2 to-day ,i was a citizen of the world1 capable of all its delights4 ,to-morrow ,i was destined to have been dragged to the stake with ignominy1 and to suffer intolerable anguish amidst the shouts and huzzas of an unfeeling populace2 to-morrow ,i was at liberty to employ as ,i pleased1 to choose the theatre upon which it should be spent1 and the gratifications that should be crowded into it4 ,what was most material1 my mind was grown young with my body4 ,weary of eternal struggle1 ,i had lately resigned the contest1 and sunk under the ill-fortune that relentlessly pursued me4 ,now ,i felt within me a superfluity of vigour2 ,i panted for something to contend with1 and something to conquer4 ,my senses unfolded themselves to all the curiosity of remark2 my thoughts seemed capable of industry unwearied1 and investigation the most constant and invincible4 ,ambition revived in my bosom2 ,i longed for new engagements and new relations2 ,i desired to perform something1 that ,i might myself regard with complacence1 and that ,i might see the world start at and applaud4 ,i determined1 for reasons that ,i shall presently have occasion to unfold1 that my first visit should be to my daughters at my paternal estate of ,st4 ,leon4 ,i proposed to spend two or three days in preparations for this journey4 ,by mere accident1 by a most censurable heedlessness1 ,i became in some degree a spectator of the auto da f in which ,i was destined to have been a victim4 ,unawares ,i had become entangled in the crowd1 and could with difficulty escape1 or even prevent my being carried nearer the centre of the scene4 ,i saw the galleries and accommodations that had been erected for the spectators3 ,i saw the windows and roofs of the houses crowded with beholders4 ,the shrieks of the sufferers ,i could not hear2 they were drowned in the infernal exultations of the multitude4 ,but what was worst of all1 ,i discerned some of the condemned1 fixed as they were upon small boards1 near the top of stakes about four yards high1 and therefore greatly above the heads of the assembly1 while the flames1 abundantly fed with faggots and dry fuel1 climbed aloft1 and seemed eager to embrace their victims4 ,as ,i have already said1 there were thirty of these death-devoted frames2 and1 if my eye did not count them all1 my fancy well supplied what sense was unable to discover4 ,the impression ,i felt at that moment was horrible beyond all conception4 ,i exerted my new-found strength1 and pushed out of the press with irresistible vigour4 ,if at that instant ,i could have felt exultation1 even in the consciousness of my own safety1 ,i should regard myself as the most execrable of monsters4 ,,chapter ,,xxxiv4 ,the first employment in which ,i purposed to engage my new-found liberty and youth1 was a visit to my daughters4 ,i now carried a disguise perpetually about with me1 that would render my journey incapable of proving injurious to them4 ,my daughters were all that remained1 if indeed they still remained1 of my once idolised family4 ,for twelve years ,i had continued totally ignorant of their fortune1 and even of their existence4 ,part of the plan ,i had adopted for their advantage necessarily precluded me from all correspondence or communication with them or any one near them1 that might satisfy and tranquillise the anxieties of a father4 ,if it had been otherwise1 deprived1 as ,i had been1 of the common benefits of light and air1 and cast out from the society of mankind1 ,i could have obtained no intelligence of their welfare4 ,in visiting1 ,i determined not to make myself known to them2 yet1 notwithstanding the greatness of this disadvantage1 ,i felt that one of the most exquisite gratifications the earth could afford me was to behold my children4 ,what a multitude of adventures and incidents might they not have encountered in the space of twelve years6 ,imagination and affection dwell impatiently on the interval2 nor can any thing quiet the conjectures of him that loves1 short of the most complete information4 ,what a difference must twelve years have produced in the very persons and figures of creatures so young8 ,with what mingled and exquisite emotions does the father contemplate his daughter1 whom he left a child1 grown up into a woman8 ,he sees her with astonishment and rapture1 displaying maturer beauties1 discovering in her countenance new traces of knowledge and sentiment1 and in her gesture and manners a character finished1 matronly1 and sedate4 ,the very circumstance that ,i should visit them unknown1 and converse intimately with them without being discovered1 while it cut me off from many pure and ingenuous pleasures1 added in some respects a new relish to the indulgence2 for it gave it a character1 singular1 and perhaps unprecedented1 in the history of mankind4 ,i anticipated with eager transport the hour at which ,i should revisit the place of my birth1 wander amidst the shades where my careless infancy had strayed1 recognise objects made sacred to my heart by associations with my venerable mother and my adorable wife1 now illumined with the presence of my children1 and steal a joy1 unsuspected and unknown1 to which the very secrecy with which it was ravished would give a tenfold gust4 ,i embraced the nearest route1 by ,pampeluna and the ,pyrenees1 to the banks of the ,garonne4 ,one particular pleasure that ,i reaped during this tour1 which the climate and scenery might alone have rendered delightful1 consisted in the youthful sensation with which every thing ,i saw was enjoyed4 ,every one who can call to mind the amusements of his childhood will be conscious that during that period all his senses were in a tone adapted to convey the most exquisite gratification4 ,this is not merely1 as is vulgarly supposed1 the result of the novelty and freshness with which at that time every thing strikes us4 ,the extremities of the nerves are in a state of the most delicate susceptibility1 upon which no touch1 however slight and evanescent1 is lost1 and which makes us1 upon every occasion favourable to enjoyment1 gasp and tremble with the pleasure we imbibe4 ,we feel it thrilling through every pulse1 and communicating its tone to every part4 ,our attention is engrossed by a single object2 or1 if we are sensible to accompanying incidents1 it spreads over them an animating sunshine1 and totally varies their appearance and hue4 ,age1 on the contrary1 imperceptibly brings along with it callosity and sluggishness of sensation1 our gratifications are coldly relished1 and our desires feebly awakened4 ,such is the difference in our perception1 of delicious fruits1 of fragrant smells1 of smooth and glossy surfaces1 of the vividness of colour1 and the heavenly sweetness of sound4 ,if this be a just account1 ,i leave the reader to imagine how ,i enjoyed my tour from ,valladolid to the beautiful and romantic retirement of ,st4 ,leon4 ,there was however one sentiment with which ,i was at this time impressed1 that ,i shall find it difficult to make the reader understand in the extent in which ,i felt it1 and that formed a powerful drawback upon the pleasures ,i have just described4 ,a short time ago ,i had been old2 now ,i was young3 ,i had quaffed of the elixir of immortality4 ,the revolution this had produced in my sentiments was not less memorable than that which it had effected in my corporeal lineaments and my mental elasticity4 ,it is so different a thing to conceive a proposition theoretically1 and to experience it in practice6 ,the case is parallel to that of the expectation which an ordinary ,christian entertains of eternal bliss4 ,it is an article in his creed2 he repeats it every night when he lies down1 and every morning when he rises4 ,he would be both offended and surprised if you told him he was not persuaded of it2 and yet how faint and indistinct a picture it produces in his intellectual retina6 ,the affairs of the world strike him with all the force of vision2 to them he cannot make himself a stranger and a pilgrim2 he cannot transfer all his affections to the mere creature of his imagination1 engendered in solitude1 and nurtured by enthusiasm1--heaven4 ,how different must have been the feelings of the celebrated apostle1 who had been taken up into the third heaven1 and had beheld the new ,jerusalem with all its jaspers1 its chrysolites1 its emeralds1 and its sapphires6 ,my situation was similar to this4 ,i had long known1 as far as reflection could assure me of it1 that ,i possessed the elixir of immortality4 ,but never till now had ,i felt the julep tingling in my veins1 and known the effects of it in every joint and articulation of my frame4 ,i before believed1 ,i now felt1 that ,i was immortal4 ,the consequence of this intimate persuasion was not without its portion of melancholy4 ,i still bore the figure and lineaments of a human creature2 but ,i knew that ,i was not what ,i seemed4 ,there was a greater distance between me and the best constructed and most consummate of the human species1 than there is between him and an ant or a muskito1 crushed by the first accidental tread1 or consumed by the first spark wafted by the wind4 ,i can no longer cheat my fancy2 ,i know that ,i am alone4 ,the creature does not exist with whom ,i have any common language1 or any genuine sympathies4 ,society is a bitter and galling mockery to my heart2 it only shows in more glaring colours my desolate condition4 ,the nearer ,i attempt to draw any of the nominal ties of our nature1 the more they start and shrink from my grasp4 ,from this moment ,i could not shake off the terrible impression of my loneliness2 no1 not for an hour4 ,often does this impression induce me to regard my immortality with loathing indescribable2 often do ,i wish to shelter myself from it in the sweet oblivion of the grave4 ,from this hour ,i had no passions1 no interests1 no affections2 my heart has never expanded with one natural emotion2 ,i have never delivered myself up to the repose of one genuine amusement4 ,if at any time ,i have had a glimpse of pleasure1 it has irritated1 only to deceive2 it has increased the appetite1 while it displayed in stronger colours my impotence to gratify it4 ,what is worse1 every added year has still subtracted something from the little poignancy and relish which the bowl of human life continued to retain4 ,i have the power of assuming a youthful and glossy appearance whenever ,i think proper2 but this is only a bitter mockery of the furrows ploughed in my heart4 ,in so much of my adventures as remains for me to describe1 ,i feel that ,i shall be obliged to employ the established terms of human description4 ,i cannot interrupt the history of my sensations1 by a recital of those pangs by which they have been every moment interrupted4 ,the terms ,i must use may delude the reader into an imagination that ,i still participate of enjoyment and of hope4 ,be it so2 they may cheat the reader2 they cannot cheat myself6 ,previously to my arrival in the vicinity of the ,garonne1 ,i equipped myself in the habit of an ,armenian1 and assumed the character of a merchant travelling from country to country for the sale of his commodities4 ,it was in the close of a wintry day in the bleak and cheerless month of ,december1 that ,i first viewed from a distance the turrets of ,st4 ,leon4 ,i procured myself accommodations for the night in the adjoining village4 ,being now1 after so long an absence1 within reach of the residence of these lovely treasures1 ,i sought1 without any direct consciousness of the sentiment1 to delay our interview4 ,when ,i entered the little auberge1 sheltered under a small plantation of olives1 ,i dreaded to hear the repetition of my family name4 ,i longed most fervently to be informed of the welfare of my daughters1 yet ,i could have died sooner than utter a single question on the subject4 ,i found that that ardent love which had urged me with rapid steps from ,valladolid to ,st4 ,leon1 gradually1 as the distance grew little1 changed from an impetuous vehemence to hear of1 and to see them1 to fearful1 awe-struck1 motionless anxiety4 ,their light and airy figures1 as ,i last saw them at ,montauban in #aedg1 danced before the eyes of my imagination3 what casualties1 what calamities might not have overtaken them since6 ,i was afraid almost to breathe1 lest ,i should dissolve the unreal scene that played around me4 ,how did ,i know that ,i did not indulge this cheerful imagination for the last time8 ,again and again in the course of the evening1 ,i felt as if ,i could have wasted ages in this auberge and the neighbouring fields1 still believing that my daughters inhabited yonder towers1 still hovering round their fancied residence1 but never daring to utter their name1 lest it should be found the prelude to some fatal intelligence4 ,how rich and refined a repast in some cases is uncertainty6 ,it had the power to impart to these precious pledges a share of that immortality of which ,i was the destined monopolist4 ,why had ,i not the courage never to overpass the limit at which ,i was now arrived1 and1 wherever ,i afterwards wandered on the various surface of the globe1 still to be able to repeat to myself the complacent whisper1 8,i have visited my daughters in their separated abode1 and my visit was productive of none but agreeable sensations80 ,my passions were too much afloat to suffer me really to rest in this patient1 contemplative gratification4 ,before the morning's dawn1 ,i walked forth1 and turned my eyes towards the castle4 ,i loitered from bank to bank1 and from point to point4 ,daylight slowly broke in upon me1 but all was silent and quiet in my paternal chteau4 8,the family is not yet stirring10 said ,i to myself4 ,i turned my steps to the spot where the ashes of my mother were mingled with their parent earth4 ,the time that had intervened since her decease1 the various fortunes and impressions ,i had experienced1 had somewhat obliterated the vividness of her picture in my memory1 and deadened the tremblingness of sensation with which ,i once thought of her4 ,yet enough was left1 to make it an interesting moment to me1 when ,i kneeled at her tomb4 ,why1 oh why1 as it had been with my great forefathers1 was it not a moment of exultation to me1 when ,i thus feelingly saluted the shade of a parent6 ,he that exults in such an hour1 must feel that he has illustrated his birth1 and honoured his progenitors4 ,i had done nothing of this3 ,i was an exile on the face of the earth1 had acquired no trophies1 and accumulated no fame4 ,i had none to honour1 none even to know me2 ,i had no family1 ,i had no friend6 ,these bitter recollections started up in array before me1 and cut me to the heart4 ,the spirit of my mother frowned upon her son2 and ,i returned along the path by which ,i came1 disgraced and disconsolate4 8,i am now10 said ,i1 8in a fit temper to learn intelligence of my daughters3 if they have been unhappy1 to hear it will not make me more forlorn2 if they have been fortunate1 that knowledge1 and that alone1 may revive my courage40 ,i hastened towards the avenue4 ,i looked into the thickets and winding paths1 as ,i passed4 ,they communicated to me mingled pictures of my own boyish days1 and of the amusements of the present inhabitants4 ,i told the nature of my pretended traffic to the servants of the house1 and proposed an exhibition of my commodities2 ,i was admitted1 as ,i desired1 to the apartment of their mistresses4 ,i saw two young ladies1 who appeared to be respectively about twenty-eight and twenty-four years of age1 and whom without much difficulty ,i recognised for my daughters ,louisa and ,marguerite4 ,their situation and their ages identified them2 and when afterwards ,i came to peruse their features attentively1 ,i could easily discover traits of the amiable young woman and the playful child they had been when last we parted4 ,i found them employed upon a piece of embroidery2 a comely and respectable looking young woman1 a servant1 was sewing in another part of the room4 ,every thing about the ladies bespoke the ease of their circumstances1 and the propriety of their sentiments4 ,both had on an elegant morning-habit2 both had an air of sedateness and sobriety1 that to my apprehension told that they had not lived unchastened by misfortune4 ,they each slightly looked up1 as ,i was ushered into the apartment2 they saluted me with a graceful and condescending bend of the head1 such as we are accustomed to use to an inferior whom we are willing to put at his ease4 ,what were my sensations1 a father1 disguised and unknown1 in the presence of his children6 ,i attempted to stand1 as is usual for a tradesman1 when he waits on his customers at their own house4 ,i attempted to speak4 ,my tongue refused its office2 my legs tottered as if sustaining an unusual weight4 ,louisa observed me1 and desired me to be seated4 ,i had no power of choice2 ,i accepted her civility4 ,no sooner was ,i seated1 than in spite of myself a flood of tears gushed from my eyes4 ,she was astonished2 she begged to know if ,i were indisposed2 she requested me to make use of every assistance the house could afford4 ,i now found my speech4 ,i apologised for my behaviour2 said ,i had felt suddenly ill1 but that the tears ,i shed would prove the most effectual relief to me4 ,my appearance1 it may be proper to mention1 was not that of a vulgar pedlar2 it was tall1 graceful1 and ingenuous1 with a certain air of refinement and politeness2 my ,armenian dress1 though formed of uncostly materials1 was such as to display my person to considerable advantage4 ,both the young ladies showed themselves interested in the symptoms of my distress4 ,after a few minutes internal struggle1 ,i rose1 made an excuse for the abruptness of my departure1 and requested permission to repeat my visit in the afternoon1 when ,i should have something not unimportant to communicate to them4 ,i had seen two of my daughters2 ,i had been satisfied that they still existed2 ,i had witnessed their exterior health and beauty4 ,as ,i withdrew1 ,i laid my hand upon my heart1 and congratulated myself3 8,thus far10 said ,i1 8it is well60 ,i felt relieved from part of the weight that lay there4 ,with my right hand ,i struck upon my forehead3 8but1 oh1 where10 cried ,i1 8is my other daughter80 ,the thought came over me with the force of a demonstration3 she is dead6 ,a servant was attending me to the door2 ,i requested to speak to the housekeeper2 ,i was introduced to ,mariana ,chabot4 ,she was struck with my appearance1 as ,i believe my daughters had been1 as if my features were those of some person with whom she was intimately acquainted4 ,she would probably have mistaken me for my own son1 but that ,i looked considerably too young4 ,i intreated her to pardon my curiosity2 but1 ,i assured her1 ,i had a particular reason to interest myself in the family of ,monsieur ,st4 ,leon1 and ,i therefore requested that she would have the goodness to inform me of their affairs1 as far as she could with propriety communicate them to a person who was not so happy as to be in the catalogue of their acquaintance4 ,i told her that ,i had just seen two of her ladies1 but that ,i had understood there had been three1 and ,i particularly desired some information as to the young lady who had not made her appearance in the parlour4 ,my presentiment was true2 the impression that smote me when ,i left the parlour1 was her funeral knell2 my beloved ,julia was dead2 she had been dead four years6 ,if it had not been for the agitation of my mind when ,i visited the tomb of my venerable parent1 ,i should have discovered her monument near that of her grandmother4 ,that would have been too overwhelming a mode of learning the painful intelligence2 ,i was glad at least to have escaped that6 ,in this and some subsequent conversations ,i held with this respectable matron1 ,i learned a variety of particulars respecting my daughters4 ,madame ,chabot expressed herself sorry that she had nothing pleasing to communicate4 ,her young ladies had been pursued by a train of misfortunes1 though1 heaven knew1 they had merited every happiness4 ,a few years after they had been settled at ,st4 ,leon1 ,julia had been addressed by a lover in every sense worthy of her4 ,he was rich1 noble1 of a gallant spirit1 of a cultivated understanding1 and a truly kind and affectionate heart4 ,their attachment had been long and tried2 habit and experience of each other's virtues had caused it to take a deep root4 ,the father of the young man had destined him to marry the daughter of a duke and peer of the kingdom2 but1 finding his affections unalterably fixed1 he had at length yielded1 and sanctioned their mutual passion with his consent4 ,every thing was now prepared for the nuptials2 a day was fixed1 and the appointed time was fast approaching4 ,just at this juncture1 the father changed his mind1 and became more obstinate and inexorable than ever4 ,a report had begun to be circulated that monsieur ,st4 ,leon1 the father of the young ladies1 was still alive4 ,madame ,chabot expressed her fear that this report had originated in some indiscretion of ,bernardin1 who1 however1 had always proved himself a most zealous and faithful servant1 and who had since paid the debt of nature4 ,be that as it might1 the father of the lover of ,julia was found no longer accessible to expostulation or entreaty4 ,he was of an avaricious disposition1 and he regarded the fortune of the young lady1 which would otherwise have been considerable1 as entirely alienated and annihilated by this flaw in the title4 ,but what was more material1 it by no means accorded with his ideas of nobility and honour1 that the father-in-law of his only son should be a fugitive and a wanderer1 with whose residence no one was acquainted1 and of whom no one could tell whether he were living or dead4 ,the manner in which the ladies had entered into the repossession of their paternal estate1 when minutely investigated1 was thought to have something in it of an ambiguous and unpleasant nature4 ,it was well known that monsieur ,st4 ,leon had left the country in consequence of his having ruined himself by the vice of gaming4 8,surely10 said some1 8it is a little mysterious1 how his children came1 after an interval of nine years1 to be able to repurchase all he ever possessed40 ,in short1 the more the old vicomte was reasoned with1 the more furious he grew4 ,at length he made use of the power which the government of ,france vests in the father of a family1 and shut up his son in one of the royal prisons4 ,this was a fatal blow both to the chevalier and his mistress4 ,disappointed in the object of his warmest affections1 maltreated and disgraced by the severity of a father1 his health sensibly declined4 ,nothing however could shake the inflexibility of the vicomte2 he would release his son upon no other terms than a renunciation of his love1 terms which the sense of dignity and honour in the young gentleman1 equally with his passion1 forbade him to accept4 ,to all representations of the necessity of granting liberty to his son1 if he would not make himself answerable for his death1 the vicomte sternly replied1 8that he preferred his dying to the idea of his connecting himself with a family of dishonour40 ,it was not till a few weeks before he expired1 that the father had consented to his release from prison1 and had removed him to one of his castles in a remote province4 ,but the malady of the chevalier was found incurable2 the vital principles of the system were fatally deranged4 ,the lover died2 and the consequences of this unhappy affair had put a premature close to the existence of the unfortunate ,julia4 ,madame ,chabot added that1 the circumstance of this story having become a subject of public animadversion1 it had had a most unfavourable effect on the prospects of the surviving sisters4 ,they bore their situation with dignity2 but they could not but feel the unhappy coincidence1 which cut them off from the happiest condition of human life1 an honourable and well assorted settlement in marriage4 ,while madame ,chabot related to me the tragical history of ,julia1 ,i felt convulsed with passion1 and more than once burst into an agony of tears4 ,fatal legacy6 atrocious secrets of medicine and chemistry6 every day opened to my astonished and terrified sight a wider prospect of their wasteful effects6 ,a common degree of penetration might have shown me1 that secrets of this character cut off their possessor from the dearest ties of human existence1 and render him a solitary1 cold1 self-centered individual2 his heart no longer able to pour itself into the bosom of a mistress or a friend2 his bosom no longer qualified to receive upon equal terms the overflowing of a kindred heart4 ,but no mere exercise of imagination1 nothing short of the actual experience through which ,i had passed1 could have adequately represented the mischiefs of a thousand various names1 that issued from this ,pandora's box1 this extract of a universal panacea4 ,i regarded myself as the murderer of these two lovers1 than whom ,i concluded1 from my personal observation of the one1 and all that ,i heard of the other1 two purer and more affectionate beings1 more singularly qualified to form each other's happiness1 had never existed4 ,i felt as truly haunted with the ghosts of those ,i had murdered1 as ,nero or ,caligula might have been2 my wife1 my son1 my faithful negro2 and now1 in addition to these1 the tender ,julia and her unalterable admirer4 ,i possessed the gift of immortal life2 but ,i looked on myself as a monster that did not deserve to exist4 ,it is with difficulty that ,i shall be able to make the reader understand how much more severe the impression of this last catastrophe was made to me1 by the place and time in which ,i received the intelligence4 ,we are creatures of sensation3 our worst calamities derive as much of their pungency from the accessories by which they are accompanied1 as they do from their intrinsic evil4 ,if ,i had heard this story at any other period1 ,i am persuaded its effects would not have been half so painful4 ,the idea of my daughters was faded in my sensorium1 and whatever related to them1 though really felt1 and felt like a father1 would have been felt with a less overpowering interest4 ,but now ,i had journeyed from ,valladolid to the ,garonne to behold them2 ,i had surveyed the castle they inhabited2 ,i had viewed the garden which they arranged with their hands2 ,i had entered the parlour which they adorned with their presence4 ,all this controlled the operation of absence and of distance2 ,i felt at this moment as if ,i had been accustomed to see them every day1 and to regard them as inseparable from my existence4 ,i experienced1 as it were1 the united effect of familiarity and novelty2 ,i felt the melancholy fate of ,julia1 with all the keenness of an inmate1 and all the surprise of a long absent traveller4 ,the very metamorphosis ,i had undergone gave new poignancy to my distress4 ,madame ,chabot tortured me deliberately and at leisure1 without the slightest consciousness of what she was doing2 she believed she was pouring a tale of persons unknown into the ears of a native of the other hemisphere1 at the moment that she was calling up in arms the strongest and most excruciating feelings of a father for his child4 ,i on the other hand had the most violent struggle with myself1 while ,i endeavoured to suppress the appearances of an emotion1 which to the person who witnessed them must have been for ever unaccountable4 ,as it was1 and in spite of all my efforts1 madame ,chabot betrayed no little amazement at the agitation with which ,i listened to a story1 in which1 as she apprehended1 ,i could have no personal interest4 ,what ,i heard from madame ,chabot suggested to me a conduct1 which ,i resolved to adopt under the present circumstances4 ,in my next interview ,i told ,louisa that ,i would now account to her for emotions which1 at the time they occurred1 must have appeared somewhat extraordinary4 ,i owned that ,i had been acquainted with her father2 ,i said that ,i had first met with him in a journey1 in which ,i was then engaged through the province of ,mesopotamia2 that ,i had received from him1 though a stranger1 a singular obligation2 that a sincere friendship between us had been the result of this event2 that he died about two years since2 that ,i had attended him in his last moments2 that he had charged me with his dying recommendations and requests2 and that my present journey into ,france had principally been instigated by a desire to visit his children4 ,i then delivered into her hands various letters and papers1 which ,i had counterfeited chiefly with the intention of supplying my daughters with legal evidence of the decease of their father4 ,louisa listened to what ,i related with those marks of affection and sorrow1 which are inseparable from the habits of a well constituted mind4 ,the emotion she discovered led me farther than ,i first intended4 ,i was urged by an irresistible impulse to practise1 beyond what the occasion demanded1 upon the feelings of her virtuous mind4 ,i know not whether this is to be considered as a vain refinement and a criminal curiosity2 but--,i think--every generous spirit will excuse me1 when it is recollected that this covert and imperfect proceeding was all that was left me to soothe the impatient cravings of a father's heart4 ,from time to time ,i reminded her of particulars that it was scarcely possible any one but her father should know2 ,i conjured up past scenes2 ,i made all the revolutions of her youth pass successively in review before her2 ,i touched all the pulses of her soul4 ,sometimes she was fixed in mute astonishment at the exactness of my information1 and was ready to do me homage as some aerial genius1 who condescended to clothe himself in this earthly figure2 at other times astonishment was swallowed up in feeling1 her soul dissolved in tenderness1 and she appeared ready to faint into my arms4 ,it is scarcely possible to depict the pleasurable sensations ,i drew from these intercourses2 ,i know not whether they were entirely innocent2 but this ,i know1 that in me they produced a sentiment of innocence1 and a sentiment of paradise4 ,i felt sometimes as if ,i could have wasted ages in this sort of gratification4 ,as the executor of their father1 my daughters received me with every mark of respect2 but1 after having already protracted my visit to them for the space of many days1 ,i felt that ,i should be guilty of something alike hostile to their decorum and reputation1 if ,i did not speedily bring it to a termination4 ,i was a person unknown and almost without a name2 nor could it be proper for a young woman to continue to receive the visits of a person of her own age and a different sex1 upon the intimate and confidential footing upon which my visits were paid1 except in the case of him whom she intends to make her husband4 ,to considerations of this sort ,i was obliged to sacrifice the gratifications in which ,i had lately been indulging4 ,my principal concern at ,st4 ,leon1 from the time in which madame ,chabot had communicated to me the real nature of my daughter's situation1 was to remove those disadvantages in which my destiny and my errors had involved them3 it would therefore have been the extreme of inconsistency in me1 while ,i was healing one mischief1 to prepare for them another4 ,it is not indeed probable that ,i should long have been contented for myself with this anomalous and neutral situation1 in which ,i more resembled a piece of furniture endowed with the faculty of noting the sensations of those around me1 than the member of any human society4 ,it was high time1 as ,i thought1 even in this point of view1 that ,i should put an end to the inglorious scene1 should appear in some real character1 and engage in some real undertaking4 ,influenced by these considerations1 ,i now quitted the residence of my daughters4 ,i had satisfied the longing curiosity of a father1 had seen their situation1 had witnessed their beauty1 their accomplishments1 and their virtues4 ,if ,i had been afflicted at hearing of the premature fate of my eldest daughter1 if ,i had been agonised by the reflection that ,i might justly regard myself as her murderer1 who was so fitted to suffer this anguish as myself8 ,the outcast of my species1 what right had ,i to expect to be happy in my own person1 or prosperous in any of my relations8 ,the guilty cause of all this mischief1 it was but suitable that it should be brought home to my own bosom1 that it should tear and distract my own brain6 ,add to this1 ,i was not without a hope that my journey would not be found useless to the survivors4 ,by furnishing to them the proper documents to certify the death of their father1 ,i flattered myself that ,i had cut them off more effectually than before from all connection with my unpropitious destiny1 and had placed them nearly upon a footing with the other noble and unmarried heiresses of their native country4 ,i have nothing further to relate in regard to these two amiable and excellent sisters4 ,from the time that ,i quitted ,st4 ,leon upon this occasion1 to the time in which ,i am now writing1 the opportunity of making further enquiries respecting them has not occurred to me4 ,if ever it does occur1 ,i have only this one wish to entertain1 which1 if granted1 will1 ,i am sure1 satisfy my fondest hopes1--,may ,i find they have been as happy1 as they so well deserve to be6 ,the parting between me and my daughters was not an unaffecting one4 ,on my part1 whose bosom was fraught with a thousand tender feelings1 to which ,i could give no language1 and of which those whom they principally concerned had not the slightest suspicion1 it could not be unaffecting4 ,nor did ,louisa and her younger sister look with an indifferent eye upon the bearer of the last sentiments of their father1 the witness of his death1 the executor of his will4 ,there was something in the features of my countenance1 a peculiar sort of conformation1 a family resemblance to themselves1 which it is probable they did not advert to1 but which ,i am persuaded wrought within them to the full extent of the mysterious sympathies of our nature4 ,i pretended to have been the familiar confident of their father2 ,i told them of things at which they started and almost blushed to think that any one beyond the circuit of their dearest relations should have been privy4 ,in the hour of our separation1 they shed many tears1 and embraced me with a warmth that might have well become sisters to a brother4 ,yet1 shall ,i confess my weakness1 a weakness in which ,i do not apprehend myself to be singular8 ,it happens to few men to witness the manner in which the story of their own deaths is received4 ,if it did1 ,i believe we all of us have enough of vanity and personal feeling1 however sincere a grief might show itself in the demeanour of survivors1 to find it falling short of our appetites and demand4 ,this ,i know1 ,i was myself a party to this unreasonableness4 ,my daughters received the intelligence of my death with a decorum and sensibility1 which in the eyes of every impartial spectator would have reflected honour on their characters1 a sensibility beyond what could have been imagined in daughters who now had not seen their father for twelve years4 ,yet it was an unpleasing reflection to me1 thus to have occasion to gauge their love1 and to say1 ,this is the exact measure of their affection4 ,i remained in this part of the world long enough to see my children consoled1 and myself forgotten4 ,self-importance of man1 upon how slight a basis do thy gigantic erections repose6 ,,chapter ,,xxxv4 ,from ,st4 ,leon ,i proceeded to the kingdom of ,hungary4 ,to complete this journey ,i must pass through near twenty degrees of longitude4 ,but that was a trivial consideration3 what ,i most desired was to gain a new situation1 and enter upon an untried scene4 ,i had determined in my next experiment upon the endowments of the stranger1 to make no half-formed efforts1 and to suffer no mischiefs that drew their source from my own irresolution4 ,i determined1 as ,i have said1 to forestall all opposition by my firmness1 and to silence all objectors by the display of a more than princely magnificence4 ,i thought it therefore eligible to remove to a scene1 where no encounter with any one ,i had ever known might abash me1 and no relation of any adventure ,i had ever met should follow me4 ,the change of my figure1 it is true1 would render an encounter of this sort of little moment to my liberty or my reputation2 but ,i was a new man1 and ,i was desirous to engross and to feel the benefits that attend upon novelty4 ,there was another motive however secretly working at my heart1 of a grander and more exalted cast1 that made me prefer ,hungary to all the countries of the earth4 ,hungary had been now1 for upwards of a century1 the great frontier of the ,christian world1--the theatre upon which the followers of ,mahomet contended against the followers of ,jesus for destruction and for empire4 ,my mind had from time to time brooded over this picture in the solitude and forlornness of my dungeon4 ,i ruminated on all the calamities of ,hungary1 from the battle of ,warna in #addd1 to the battle of ,mohacz in #aebf2 in both of which this generous nation had unsuccessfully achieved prodigies of valour1 and1 even by their defeats1 had protracted the date of their own independence1 and co-operated for the defence of the population and arts of ,europe against a barbarous and blood-delighting foe4 ,my thoughts dwelt with rapturous admiration upon the exploits of the heroic ,huniades and his greater son4 ,in the course of my many-coloured experience ,i had seen something of war1 and was not totally unacquainted with its never-failing consequences4 ,meditating as ,i had done in the dungeons of the inquisition1 if ever ,i recovered my personal liberty and my freedom of action1 a journey into ,hungary1 my imagination had grown familiar with captured towns and smoking villages2 with the gallant soldier stretched lifeless on the plain1 and the defenceless mother and her offspring brutally insulted and massacred2 with fields laid waste1 and a people lifting up their hands for bread4 ,determined as ,i was to open at once all the stores of my wealth1 ,i thought ,i could not find a nobler scene for its display4 ,i resolved to pour the entire stream of my riches1 like a mighty river1 to fertilise these wasted plains1 and revive their fainting inhabitants4 ,thus proceeding1 should ,i not have a right to expect to find myself guarded by the faithful love of a people who would be indebted to my beneficence for every breath they drew8 ,this was the proper scene in which for the possessor of the philosopher's stone to take up his abode4 ,he who could feel his ambition satisfied in a more straitened field would1 by so doing1 prove himself unworthy of the mighty blessing4 ,nothing occurred to me in my journey of importance enough to obtain a place in this history4 ,when ,i arrived1 ,i found the condition of the inhabitants even more wretched than the lawlessness of my imagination had represented it4 ,in the battle of ,mohacz the last of the line of their native sovereigns1 together with the flower of his nobility1 had fallen a victim to the merciless plague of war4 ,what survived of eminent persons in the state assembled soon after in national diet1 and elected1 as they had been accustomed to do1 one of the most illustrious among themselves to preside over the councils and to conduct the battles of their country4 ,but the princes of the house of ,austria1 ever on the watch for the aggrandisement of their family1 seized the opportunity of their disastrous situation to enslave the ,hungarians to their sceptre4 ,charles the ,fifth caused his brother ,ferdinand1 whose consort was only sister to the deceased monarch1 to advance his claim to the vacant throne1 and to enter the country with an imperial army4 ,the native and elected sovereign found himself1 in the weakened condition of his realm1 unable to resist the ,austrian arms1 and was finally driven to the desperate expedient of calling in the ,turk to his assistance4 ,from this time1 for now upwards of thirty years1 the kingdom had been a prey to two foreign invaders1 alternately taking and retaking her most considerable towns1 and distributing with the strictest impartiality the miseries of war to her devoted inhabitants4 ,solyman the ,magnificent1 the present ,ottoman emperor1 in no long time threw off the mask2 and1 like his rival ,ferdinand1 professed to fight only for the enlargement of his own dominions2 while the claims1 the liberties1 the constitution1 and the prosperity of ,hungary1 were alike trodden under foot in the protracted and sanguinary struggle4 ,at the period at which ,i entered this unfortunate realm1 the ,turk was in possession of ,buda1 ,gran1 ,temeswar1 and many of the most considerable cities2 and ,ferdinand1 who had now succeeded ,charles in the imperial dignity1 had been obliged to withdraw the seat of the national government from the first of these towns1 the ancient metropolis1 to the comparatively insignificant city of ,presburg4 ,the war between the two parties had more than once been interrupted2 not indeed by the more stable accommodations of a treaty of peace1 but by a truce variously concluded for the terms of six or of eight years4 ,short as was the period assigned to the suspension of arms1 it was never suffered to reach its natural termination2 but1 after the interval of one or two summers1 hostilities did not fail to break out again1 with aggravated symptoms of resentment and animosity4 ,the warfare that was now carried on had more in it of passion than vigour3 it was of little moment to the interest of either of the princes under whose banners it was conducted2 but it was not on that account the less1 but rather the more1 vexatious and distressing to the ,hungarian people4 ,it obeyed no rule2 it operated in every direction2 no place1 no province1 no town1--neither the church nor the palace1 neither the cottage nor the castle1--could assure safety to those who sought its protection4 ,a flying party1 which was to-day in the west1 would almost the next day make its appearance in the eastern extremity of the kingdom4 ,arts were neglected2 civilisation was destroyed2 the stern and haughty baron1 free from restraint1 would sally from his castle1 sometimes in pursuit of plunder1 sometimes of private resentment and revenge2 the starving peasantry gladly enlisted in the band of a ferocious partisan for bread2 the gangs of robbers1 which the vigilant policy of better times had almost annihilated1 rose again in importance1 and swelled into regiments2 and1 while they assumed at pleasure the denomination of adherents to ,ferdinand or to ,solyman1 perpetrated every species of excess with impunity4 ,when a reflecting spectator surveys a country in a condition like this1 he is tempted to wonder that the inhabitants still retain the courage to bestow on their fields any sort of cultivation1 and that the licensed or the unlicensed robber still finds something over which to extend the fangs of his rapacity4 ,i had not long passed the gates of ,vienna1 before ,i began to observe the symptoms of that1 which ,i had come from the ,pyrenees and the ,garonne to visit4 ,the farther ,i advanced1 the more melancholy was the scene ,i beheld4 ,the country in some places entirely deserted2 villages laid in ashes2 cities reduced to the dimensions and insignificance of villages2 fields fertilised or made rank with the manure of human blood2 the roads broken up2 the erections of human ingenuity almost obliterated2 mills thrown down2 rivers choked up and rendered stagnant2 a few solitary plots of cultivation scattered amidst the mighty waste4 ,the inhabitants ,i saw1 appeared terrified1 sickly1 dejected1 and despairing2 there was scarcely one who earlier or later had not lost a father or a brother1 whose wife had not been made the victim of brutal lust1 or who had not seen his children butchered before his face4 ,persons of the more opulent classes could not travel the country in safety1 without being armed and associated in companies and caravans4 ,i was myself obliged to obtain the protection of parties of soldiers1 who from time to time happened to be marching in the route ,i pursued4 ,the savage neglect into which every thing was declining1 produced in repeated instances a contagious air and pestilential diseases2 while dearth and famine unrelentingly haunted the steps of those whom the sword and the pestilence had spared4 ,such is war3 such are the evils nations willingly plunge into1 or are compelled to endure1 to pamper the senseless luxury or pride of a ,ferdinand and a ,solyman6 ,i proceeded1 as ,i had originally determined to do1 to ,buda1 the metropolis of the kingdom4 ,it was in the hands of the ,turk4 ,it was of little importance to me whether the monarch of the soil were a ,mahometan or a ,christian2 my mind was engrossed by considerations of a very different magnitude4 ,i came to relieve and assist1 to the utmost of my power1 the inhabitants of the country in the extremity of their distress4 ,i had not proceeded thus far1 without bestowing a certain strictness of reflection on the subject4 ,i easily saw that1 if ,i would confer a substantial benefit on this unfortunate nation1 ,i had scarcely any other means for the purpose1 than that of reviving among them a spirit of industry4 ,i was aware that1 in the strictness of the term1 money was not wealth2 that it could be neither eaten nor drunk2 that it would not of itself either clothe the naked or shelter the houseless2 and that it was unable1 but by a circuitous operation1 to increase the quantity of provisions or commodities that the country afforded4 ,it was my business therefore not to proceed idly in the distribution of gold1 but to meditate seriously my plan of operations4 ,i fixed myself in a spacious and beautiful mansion in the capital4 ,this in the present distressed and depopulated condition of ,hungary1 it was not difficult to procure4 ,the house ,i selected had for centuries been the principal residence of the illustrious family of ,ragotski2 but the present representative of that family1 after having seen his sons1 one after another1 killed in the battles of his country1 and his estates ruined by military depredation1 had found himself compelled to fly in his old age1 and had taken refuge with a distant branch of the same house in the great duchy of ,lithuania4 ,it was not necessary for me to proceed to any great extent in the first instance in the manufacture of my wealth2 ,i had every facility for adding to my store from time to time as circumstances should demand4 ,i determined to open my operations with the article of building4 ,there was sufficient need of it4 ,one half of the houses1 through most of the districts of ,lower1 or ,western ,hungary in particular1 were ruined and untenantable4 ,i did not begin with erecting palaces2 ,i felt that the first claimants in the present emergency were the peasant and the cultivator4 ,i was more desirous that the rustic than the prince should be well lodged and accommodated1 provided with the means of rest after fatigue1 and secured against the invasion of ungenial seasons4 ,my reasons for beginning with building were these3--,it was my purpose to stimulate and revive the industry of the nation3 ,i was desirous of doing this with the least practicable violence upon the inclinations and freedom of the inhabitants4 ,had ,i required of those to whom ,i addressed myself1 that they should fertilise the earth1 the seeds with which it should be impregnated might be wanting3 ,i should have a nice balance to adjust between what was necessary for immediate subsistence1 and what might be applied as the basis of future2 a point better left to its spontaneous level3 ,i might be impeded and controlled by a thousand circumstances and at every step4 ,but the materials of building are to be found in every country2 no seasons can impair1 no malignity of man can annihilate them4 ,wherever there are quarries1 there is stone2 wherever there is clay1 there are the means of manufacturing bricks4 ,i was anxious to leave the rest of the great process of human accommodation to its course4 ,while ,i employed labourers1 and paid them their wages1 there would be1 in the mildest and most salutary mode1 a continual influx of money into the market4 ,the increase of the precious metals would give new alacrity to the operations of traffic2 the buyers would come forward with double confidence2 the venders would be eager to meet the activity and spirit of the demand4 ,ardour and hope would revisit the human mind2 and the industry ,i created1 and the accommodations of one kind at least to which ,i gave birth1 would inoculate the other departments of the community with a similar industry4 ,i came into ,hungary in the spring of #aefj2 the season was favourable to seeding and cultivation2 ,i seemed to enter on my undertaking with the happiest auspices4 ,some time however must necessarily elapse between the period of impregnating the soil1 and that of the future harvest4 ,though ,i laid it down therefore as a law to myself1 to commit the least practicable violence upon the genuine action of human society in pursuit of the means of subsistence1 ,i thought proper in a certain degree to engage in the importation of corn from ,poland1 ,silesia1 and other neighbouring countries4 ,this seemed an eligible measure1 if it were only that ,i might show others the way1 and excite them by my example4 ,i procured agents2 ,i extended my concerns in various directions over the navigable rivers2 ,i formed magazines4 ,it would have been contrary to the genius of my undertaking1 either to make a gratuitous distribution of what ,i purchased1 or to sell it at such low prices as to drive other speculators1 whose spirit of enterprise might happily co-operate with mine1 out of the market4 ,however indifferent ,i might feel to the receipt of pecuniary compensation1 it was necessary that1 in the concerns of barter and trade1 ,i should assume the exterior of a merchant4 ,nor did ,i wholly confine my exertions within the occupations of an architect and a corn-dealer4 ,these1 or rather the former of the two1 ,i regarded as my true and genuine province2 but ,i did not so far enslave myself to my own maxims1 as to negative in all instances the direct demands of want4 ,i was not anxious to convert a nation or an army of men into my personal adherents and retainers3 ,i was rather desirous to avoid this as a dangerous source of obloquy4 ,i did not therefore always decline1 by pretended loans to assist other men to employ labourers as well as myself1 to act upon their own designs1 and prosecute their own fortune4 ,the cries of the poor man1 the widow1 and the orphan1 were sometimes too importunate1 and too well justified by their unquestionable necessities1 to allow me to withhold from them my alms4 ,in a few instances ,i conveyed my supplies anonymously to persons1 whose dignity of birth or whose proud independence would have been too grievously wounded if they had known their benefactor4 ,i was cautious and apprehensive as to the direct dispensing of money1 but not entirely bent against it2 ,i regarded it as a precarious1 but in some cases a necessary interference4 ,the impulse which1 by these various measures1 ,i was fortunate enough to generate1 seemed to have the effect1 so far at least as the sphere of my activity extended1 to revive the almost expiring life of the country4 ,dejection and hopeless indolence1 when ,i commenced my operations1 were written in every face2 the miserable inhabitants crawled along the roads or the street1 their hands idly relaxed by their side1 and their slow and painful steps scarcely supporting their lifeless trunk4 ,when my plan became known1 and ,i had already in a few instances reduced my maxims into practice1 it was as if the mellow and spirit-stirring blast of a trumpet had wakened their sleeping souls4 ,their eyes lightened with intelligence2 the tear of anguish was wiped from their faded cheeks2 the smile of hope slowly expelled1 and faintly succeeded to1 the bitter expression of despair4 ,busy and active thoughts gave new motion to their limbs and quickness to their steps2 the labourer was seen hastening from place to place2 the sound of the hammer1 the saw1 and the various tools of the workman1 was to be heard from every side4 ,the conduct ,i pursued necessarily fixed upon me a considerable portion of public attention4 ,i was a foreigner1 destitute of connections1 and having no previous acquaintance with any individual in the country4 ,i was in appearance a mere boy1 a young man in all the flower and bloom of adolescence1 and who must be supposed to have just entered into possession of his patrimony4 ,these things tended to increase the public wonder1 and to render the mystery of my proceedings more perplexing and obscure4 ,in the age of genial warmth and melting softness1 ,i did not appear accessible to those passions which haunt the days1 and too often undermine the virtues1 of youth4 ,youth is the season of benevolence2 but benevolence is rarely1 as seemed to be my case1 the only fruit that youth is found to produce4 ,there was a maturity and a justness of adaptation in my plans1 not less foreign from what those who surrounded me would have expected me to display4 ,the apparent disinterestedness and modesty of my proceedings were not lost upon the spectators4 ,the consequence of all this was1 that the sieur de ,chatillon1 such was the name ,i at this time assumed1 was regarded as a phenomenon which could not be too much admired1 or too loudly extolled4 ,wherever ,i appeared1 the people followed me with their gratitude and blessings2 ballads were written in my praise2 the very children were taught with their infant tongues to lisp the virtues of the saviour of ,hungary4 ,my doors were besieged2 my steps were watched2 ,i could move no where without public observation4 ,i was importuned with petitions without end2 yet1 if any petitioner showed himself presumptuous and intrusive1 the whole multitude of bystanders was ready to repress his indiscretion1 and teach him the respect that was due to their generous benefactor1 who never refused any thing1 but what it would be improper and injurious to grant4 ,such was the treatment ,i experienced in ,buda and the neighbouring districts4 ,whether ,i looked within or without1 ,i was equally presented with incitements to self-approbation4 ,i sent forth labour1 accompanied with her best and loveliest companions1 plenty and health1 congratulation and contentment1 to scatter blessings through the land4 ,i felt that ,i was prompted to this conduct by none of the motives of vulgar ambition4 ,i desired neither lordships nor estates1 neither elevation of rank1 nor extension of prerogative4 ,sufficient to myself1 if ,i effected the happiness of the people1 and they confessed me their benefactor1 my every passion would then be gratified4 ,the utmost boundary of my personal wishes proceeded no farther than this1 that ,i might be honoured and loved4 ,what ,i desired1 ,i obtained2 the youth ,i had procured to myself through the medium of the opus magnum1 was like what we are told of the youth of ,job3--8,when ,i went out through the gate of the city1 the young men saw me and hid themselves1 and the aged arose and stood up2 the nobles refrained from talking1 and the princes laid their hands upon their mouths4 ,when the ear heard me1 then it blessed me2 and when the eye saw me1 it gave witness to my actions40 ,here it may be thought ,i had ascended to that sphere which it was fit the possessor of the philosopher's stone should fill1 and reaped the rewards to which a man thus endowed ought to be forward to entitle himself4 ,nor will ,i affirm that ,i was insensible to the gratifications of my present situation4 ,though ,i sought to escape from the applause that pursued me1 yet there is something in the nature of the human mind1 that makes it impossible for us to hear it without complacence4 ,it was not however a boisterous and obtrusive acclamation that satisfied me4 ,a certain inwrought modesty of nature made me listen to noisy commendations with a sentiment of shame4 ,they seemed to be more than any thing ,i had done could deserve2 or they seemed to be in a tone from which the delicacy of a virtuous mind shrinks back displeased4 ,they were so obstreperous1 as to take from me the power of hearing the sweeter verdict of my own conscience4 ,no2 it was the unbidden tear that glistened in the eye of my beneficiaries2 the tongue that faltered beneath the essays of gratitude2 the overwhelmed heart that had no power to express itself2 the hand of the parent that was stretched out to his children1 and dumbly said1 ,these1 these shall thank you6--it was these things1 that ,i felt within as the balsam of my life1 and the ambrosia of heaven4 ,,chapter ,,xxxvi4 ,yet1 thus surrounded1 and regaled with this animated praise1 ,i was not content2 ,i wanted a friend4 ,i was alone amidst the innumerable multitudes of those ,i had blessed4 ,i knew no cordiality2 ,i could repose no confidence2 ,i could find no equal4 ,i was like a ,god1 who dispenses his bounties profusely through twenty climates1 but who at the same time sits1 separate1 elevated1 and alone1 in the highest heaven4 ,the reader may1 if he pleases1 despise me for the confession2 but ,i felt that ,i was not formed for the happiness of a ,god4 ,i was not however long sufficiently at leisure1 thus to refine upon the deficiencies of my situation4 ,i had engaged in a task of extreme delicacy1 in which the smallest failure would draw along with it the most serious consequences4 ,mine was not an undertaking that had for its object1 to supply those around me with luxuries1 or to augment the stock of their cheerful relaxations and amusements2 the very existence of my beneficiaries depended on its success4 ,i had put myself in a considerable degree1 with whatever diffidence and caution1 in the room of the course of nature1 and had taken the administration of the common benefits of human society into my hands4 ,the populace are ever ready to construe this delegation in the strictest sense3 unqualified to trace the wheels and combinations of the great machine1 if prosperity is their lot1 they willingly ascribe it to their protectors and governors2 and if they are unfortunate1 it is against them that the storm of their resentment is directed4 ,the moment they are thus irritated1 their impatience is too great to admit of correctives and remedies2 in the fury of their disappointment1 they disturb every thing1 and render that irreparable and fatal1 which was at first only doubtful and unpromising4 ,my proceedings1 as ,i have already said1 bore in the commencement the most benignant face1 and seemed a revival of this despairing and unfortunate nation little less than miraculous4 ,the regular labours in which the inhabitants became engaged1 restored a healthful tone to their minds2 the payments they duly received seemed to discharge them from all anxious solicitude2 and1 as by my own efforts and the enterprises of others1 the market was supplied with provisions1 they had no difficulty in exchanging these payments for the necessaries of life4 ,the supply of the market at first was easy2 the universal dejection that preceded1 though it had not prevented all exertions for that purpose1 had rendered those exertions too feeble for extensive success4 ,the strenuous efforts that were now made were productive of a copious supply2 but they rendered each importation more difficult than the importation before4 ,the demand continued the same2 the relief was every day more diminutive and precarious4 ,the harvest was however advancing with the happiest auspices3 and1 though some time must yet be consumed in expectation1 it was probable frugality and fortitude might enable the inhabitants to hold out till the season of plenty should arrive4 ,but fortitude is not the virtue of a populace4 ,the higher had been their hopes1 and the more unexpected their deliverance1 with so much the more blank and melancholy a countenance they beheld this unexpected delay and retrogression4 ,not understanding the powers by which ,i acted1 they blindly ascribed to me the faculty of doing whatever ,i pleased4 ,as long as every thing went on prosperously1 they were grateful2 the moment a reverse occurred1 they were inclined to murmur4 ,they made no allowance for the limited capacities of a human creature3 they imputed whatever was unpleasing to indifference or ill will4 ,the price of commodities1 after having for a while become moderate1 now rapidly rose again3 this was partly the consequence of the increased quantity of the precious metals1 by means of which any assignable sum bore a less proportion to the provisions of the market than it had done before4 ,bread was at a very high price2 and it occasionally happened to buyers who did not come early enough1 that there was no bread to be purchased4 ,the doors of the houses where it was sold1 were besieged2 the industrious poor appeared before them with the first faint dawn of the morning's light4 ,here they consumed hours of painful expectation1 in grievous addition to the hours of their customary fatigue4 ,the whole was a scene of anguish and calamity2 the passions of those who composed it1 mingled with the distress1 and rendered it too heavy to be borne4 ,anticipating famine1 they felt the mischiefs of it before it arrived4 ,never was the demand so urgent2 it seemed as if the capacity of men's appetites was enlarged1 and the cravings of hunger became more insatiable1 in proportion to the smallness of the supply4 ,to people thus circumstanced1 it would have been vain to recommend frugality and moderation4 ,they devoured the food with their eyes1 while it was yet beyond the reach of their hands2 and the lesson you read them1 would have sounded in their ears as if you had bid them die to-day1 to escape the danger of dying to-morrow4 ,the crowds which the necessity of purchasing bread brought together at certain hours1 when assembled1 naturally entered into the discussion of their present discontents4 ,they were not satisfied with the discourse and jostling of the morning2 the habits produced by these noisy assemblies had a secret charm with them1 and drew them together at seasons of less urgent demand4 ,they patroled the streets3 they were loud in the expressions of their dissatisfaction4 ,with the inconsequence incident to the lower orders of mankind1 they threatened to destroy the mills1 the markets1 the places of sale1 the means and materials by which their wants were to be supplied4 ,in the midst of these scenes of tumult and confusion1 it is not to be imagined that ,i escaped uncensured4 ,far otherwise3 in proportion to the gratitude and adoration with which they had lately regarded me1 were their detestation and abhorrence now4 ,my interference was spoken of with contempt and execration4 ,for what purpose had ,i1 a foreigner1 come into their country1 and intruded myself into their affairs8 ,why had ,i impiously taken them out of the hands of their heavenly ,father1 whose care was so constant1 and whose relief so certain8 ,it was on my part a despicable vanity and presumption1 which the justice of ,providence could not fail to avenge2 and they must now suffer the punishment of my blasphemy4 ,but they did not stop here4 ,there was no horrible calumny which they did not invent1 or give credit to1 against me4 ,they imputed to me the basest personal motives for what ,i had done4 ,under the hypocritical pretence1 they cried1 of being their benefactor and saviour1 ,i was using them only for my private ends4 ,i had become a purchaser and vender of corn1 for the single purpose of increasing my fortune4 ,the present scarcity1 they were well assured1 was artificial1 and of my own contriving4 ,i had magazines in different stations on the borders1 which1 when the price was risen to the standard of my avarice1 and when half the people had fallen victims to my inhumanity1 ,i purposed to dispose of to an immense profit4 ,such were the aspersions to which my character became generally exposed4 ,by the populace1 who now experienced the unsatisfied cravings of hunger1 and in whom my proceedings had excited hope1 only to be followed by a more cruel disappointment1 they were greedily credited4 ,many who knew their falsehood1 were yet zealous to propagate them4 ,short as had been my residence in ,hungary1 ,i had made many enemies4 ,it is to be feared that no man can be assiduous and indefatigable in the service of others1 without incurring that consequence4 ,i employed a great number of workmen2 every one whom for whatever reason ,i refused to employ1 every one who1 being unqualified for the service ,i required1 looked with an envious eye on the better fortune of his neighbour1 was well disposed to be my enemy4 ,persons of no contemptible account in the community had been excited by expectations of profit to engage in the importation of corn3 these persons viewed my efforts in the same department with a suspicious eye1 and regarded a man who1 however cautious in his proceedings1 was not regulated by the same motive1 as a most pernicious rival4 ,my sudden elevation and importance in the country were viewed with not more astonishment than aversion by those whose importance ,i obscured4 ,they could not hear with patience of an upstart1 a boy1 a stranger1 one universally unknown1 elbowing out the influence of all that was most illustrious and venerable in the community1 and robbing them daily of their adherents and retainers4 ,all these persons left no effort untried to defame my character4 ,the impulse once given1 the turbulent disposition of the populace became every day more formidable4 ,it is much easier to disseminate a temper of this sort than to quell it3 my opulent foes might take alarm at its excesses1 and desire to undo what they had done2 but it was beyond their power4 ,every day ,i feared lest1 from threats and invectives1 the populace should proceed to violence3 every night ,i thought ,i had reason to congratulate myself1 that the day had passed without waste and spoil committed by them on the means of their subsistence1 or was not marked with the destruction of their champion and benefactor4 ,in some places a sort of petty sedition broke out among the labourers ,i employed3 in the morning they refused to work3 why should a man work1 they muttered1 when after all he may starve with the wages of his labour in his possession8 ,at night they became impatient and furious1 and demanded from my superintendents and storehouse-men the food1 which in the morning they had refused to earn1 and were therefore now unable to purchase4 ,i had already had some experience in the nature of popular tumults2 ,i had now no marchese ,filosanto at hand to persuade me of their inefficacy2 and1 if ,i had1 ,i should no longer have lent an ear to his serene and unsuspicious generosity4 ,i felt the reality of the danger2 ,i saw the storm as it blackened in my horizon1 and was deeply convinced what it would be if it burst upon my head4 ,it may be imagined with what feelings ,i viewed my whole design on the point to be subverted1 by the unruliness of those for whose benefit it had been planned4 ,it is true ,i had now no darling relations to be involved in my fate1 no incomparable wife1 no daughters illustrious in innocence and beauty2 yet my feelings were scarcely less pungent than they had been at the period of my catastrophe at ,pisa4 ,i had blamed myself in review1 that1 in my experiments at ,constance1 at ,dresden1 at ,pisa1 and at ,madrid1 ,i had not commenced upon a sufficiently ample scale1 but had suffered myself to be frustrated by the ingloriousness of my precautions4 ,that had not been my error in the present instance2 yet my success now promised to be scarcely more flattering than upon former occasions4 ,i had looked for happiness as the result of the benevolence and philanthropy ,i was exerting2 ,i found only anxiety and a well grounded fear even for my personal safety4 ,let no man build on the expected gratitude of those he spends his strength to serve6 ,let him be beneficent if he will2 but let him not depend for his happiness on the conviction of his rectitude and virtue that is to be impressed on the minds of others6 ,there is a principle in the human breast1 that easily induces them to regard every thing that can be done for them1 as no more than their due1 and speedily discharges them from the oppressive consciousness of obligation4 ,there is a levity in the generality of men1 that entails on them a continual oblivion of past benefits1 and makes one recent disappointment of more importance in their eyes than an eternity of kindnesses and condescension4 ,i shall have other instances of ingratitude to display in what yet remains to be related of my story4 ,my nights were restless2 my thoughts were in arms4 ,what was it that it became me to do in the present emergency8 ,sometimes1 in the bitterness of my heart1 hating myself1 hating the endowments of the stranger1 hating a race of beings who denied all credit to the most unheard-of exertions for their advantage1 ,i determined to withdraw unobserved from my attendants and clients1 and bid adieu to ,hungary for ever4 ,but whither was ,i to fly8 ,what was ,i to do next8 ,what experiment could ,i make of the purposes to which to apply the philosopher's stone1 that ,i had not already made8 ,these questions1 to none of which ,i could give a satisfactory answer1 checked the career of my passion1 and gave pause to my thoughts4 ,whatever ,i did1 ,i was determined to do nothing rashly1 nor to quit a great experiment without its having been fully tried4 ,it was no light concern1 no trivial child's-play1 in which ,i had embarked4 ,i had taken the welfare1 perhaps the existence1 of a great and heroic nation under my protection4 ,in this glorious vocation it did not become me to be lightly discouraged4 ,what if those ,i served and saved did not show themselves sufficiently sensible to the exertions ,i made for them8 ,i ought to purify my bosom1 on an occasion like this1 from base and ignoble motives1 and to deem myself sufficiently recompensed by my conscious virtue4 ,what if the service in which ,i had engaged now appeared to be a service of hazard and peril8 ,is there any great undertaking that can be separated from this condition8 ,if hastily1 from cowardice1 from pique1 or from any other motive1 ,i deserted the business on which ,i had entered1 what was to become of my mistaken indeed1 but in that case most unfortunate clients8 ,the greater was the crisis to which they were exposed1 the more were unremitted vigilance and uncommon powers necessary to guide them amidst its rocks and its quicksands4 ,i saw thousands of men who for several weeks had fed1 as it were1 from the stores of my bounty4 ,by a propensity inseparable from the human heart1 ,i became attached to the work of my meditations1 and the labour of my thoughts4 ,all their fickleness1 their injustice1 even the atrocious calumnies they admitted and propagated against me1 could not wean my attachment from beings1 a great portion of whom1 but for my interference1 would1 ,i believed1 long ere this have expired of hunger4 ,in the peculiar and urgent circumstances in which ,i found myself1 no expedient was so obvious as that of calling in the interference of the government under which ,i lived4 ,it was necessary that the resources of national subsistence should be defended from the wanton spoil of those who1 when they were annihilated1 must inevitably perish4 ,it was necessary that the benefactor of ,hungary1 who1 ,i flattered myself1 was still able to watch effectively for her advantage1 should be protected from her misguided resentment4 ,the alternative was singularly painful to my feelings4 ,the pride with which my unparalleled endowments inspired me1 was deeply wounded1 when ,i was compelled to confess that ,i was not alone equal to the task ,i had undertaken1 and that ,i must submit to call in a foreign auxiliary4 ,i augured little favourable from the interference of government1 which1 if ,i implored1 ,i could scarcely expect to guide1 which was not likely to submit to my principle of rendering its interference the mildest and smallest that the nature of the case would admit2 but1 puffed up with presumption1 and intoxicated with authority1 would probably leave no concern of the public welfare uninvaded4 ,least of all1 could ,i anticipate much of good from a ,turkish government4 ,but what could ,i do8 ,i could discover no other expedient4 ,influenced by the views ,i have recited1 ,i had hitherto kept myself as far from the observation of the political directors of the state as ,i could4 ,but my cautiousness and reserve were now at an end4 ,with my eyes open ,i exposed myself to all the evils that might attend on my proceeding4 ,i determined to apply to the bashaw of the province4 ,previously to my taking this step1 ,i had the precaution to enquire his character4 ,he was the genuine offspring of the ,turkish system of government4 ,his name was ,muzaffer ,bey4 ,he was originally a ,circassian slave2 then a ,janissary2 and1 rising by insensible gradation1 had at length been appointed bashaw of ,buda1 which1 as being the immediate frontier between ,austria and the ,porte1 was at this time the most arduous situation in the gift of the sultan4 ,he was esteemed a good soldier2 he had been early distinguished by his dexterity in military exercises2 he had since seen much service2 and1 in every situation in which he was placed1 had earned commendation and honour4 ,he was abstemious and hardy2 for himself1 he neither pampered his appetites nor shrunk from severity2 and he had as little indulgence for those under his command as for his own person4 ,yet he was indebted for his present eminence more to the arts of the courtier1 than to his merits in the field4 ,his chief care had ever been to recommend himself to those above him1 and to obtain the good will of his equals2 for the opinion of his inferiors he gave himself little concern4 ,with considerable ability1 he laboured under no check from either principle or ingenuous pride2 and therefore was extremely successful in his attacks on the inclination of those he sought4 ,the habits of his mind had modified the lines of his countenance and the tones of his voice4 ,except to his dependants and the poor he almost always spoke with a smile upon his face1 and his enunciation was silver-tongued1 oily1 copious1 and insinuating4 ,if he ever adopted a different manner1 the variation was only in the means not the end2 and1 when he seemed to travel by an opposite road1 the goal at which he aimed was the same4 ,he never consulted any oracle but that of his apparent interest2 if he had any insolence in his nature1 he regarded his slaves and those under his military command as affording a sufficient sphere for its exercise2 he had no affections to disturb him from his bent2 he had no passions but the self-complacency of superior cunning1 and the sordid love of pelf4 ,this account of the man with whom ,i had to deal was far from encouraging2 but ,i had no alternative4 ,i sent to signify my desire to confer with him2 or1 to speak more accurately1 to ask1 in the ,eastern manner when it would be agreeable to him to receive a present of which ,i requested his acceptance4 ,he appointed the morning of the following day4 ,i prepared a gift1 such as might tend to conciliate his favour1 without marking in the donor the possession of immoderate wealth4 ,it consisted of silks and muslins1 with a small piece of plate of exquisite workmanship4 ,my present was borne by two of my servants4 ,we were ushered to the bashaw in his private apartment2 there were two or three persons in attendance upon him4 ,they examined my present together2 and1 without condescending to express much approbation1 ,i could nevertheless discern that the bashaw was pleased with it4 ,this ceremony concluded2 ,muzaffer ordered what ,i had brought to be taken into a different apartment2 and1 every other person withdrawing1 we were left alone4 ,while the bashaw was examining my gift1 ,i took the opportunity of considering his person4 ,he appeared to be about sixty years of age2 his complexion dark and muddy2 his features coarse and distorted2 his mustachoes remarkably large2 his person1 though bony and muscular1 considerably below the middle size2 and his figure ungainly and ungraceful4 ,i felt surprised that such a man should ever have been an excellent soldier1 or have risen from a low rank to one of the first situations of the empire4 ,to look at him1 he seemed better formed for the vice of a comedy1 than the ruler of a nation4 ,he raised his eyes towards me askance1 as he sat leaning on his elbow1 and said1 8,you call yourself--80 8,the sieur de ,chatillon40 8,and your age--80 8,is two and twenty40 8,i am glad you are come to me4 ,i intended to have sent for you1 and you have saved me the trouble40 ,i made many apologies for my intrusion1 but added that ,i had a petition to prefer1 and ,i hoped he would favour me with a hearing4 8,not at all1 not at all2 do not call it an intrusion3 it is necessary ,i should be acquainted with you40 ,he proceeded3-- 8,you have undertaken to confer great benefits on the subjects of the grand signior1 my master2 to rescue them from famine4 ,young1 rich1 a stranger1 unknown to my master1 unknown to his subjects1 ,i understand that you have spared no labour or expense to bring about their welfare4 ,this is really a very extraordinary case2 your merit is unprecedented2 ,i do not feel myself competent to reward it40 ,i answered that ,i laid no claim to uncommon merit2 that every temper had its particular gratifications2 and that ,i found as real a luxury in the proceedings he had remarked1 as other men did in the excesses of the table1 or the promiscuous enjoyments of the harem4 8,it is out of my power10 continued he1 8to remunerate you as you deserve2 ,i must send you to ,constantinople40 ,i perceived that this was the first essay of his artifice4 ,i informed him which ,i have no doubt he knew well enough before1 that ,i had no desire to go to ,constantinople4 ,i wished to remain where ,i was1 and to finish what ,i had begun4 8,what1 you have not done then80 suddenly and with an abrupt voice exclaimed the bashaw4 8,by ,mahomet1 a man of a reasonable appetite in your place might be satisfied4 ,have not you filled the streets with riots1 and the country with rebellion8 ,do not the populace assemble in crowds1 insulting every one they meet1 and talking of nothing but fire and devastation1 the bowstring and the cimeter8 ,be so good1 my dear sir2 as to inform me what further you may have in view80 8,reverend bashaw10 cried ,i with submission1 yet with firmness1 8,i have none of these things in view4 ,but a moment ago you did justice to my intentions4 ,they are those of beneficence1 and beneficence only40 8,i know nothing about that4 ,i have nothing to do with honest men's blunders2 ,i look to the effects they produce40 8,these effects1 most mighty sir1 are temporary2 they are the clouds that will often obscure for an instant the brightest sunshine4 ,condescend to lend me your generous assistance1 and all will be well40 8,do not tell me of clouds and sunshine4 ,this is1 to my thinking1 not an ,april shower1 but an earthquake and a hurricane4 ,if we are all to be swallowed up or whirled into the air1 it is no consolation to me1 that the day after we are gone1 every thing shall be as fair and serene as paradise itself40 8,remember1 sir1 that when ,i came into ,hungary1 ,i found its inhabitants in the most desperate condition1 miserable1 wasted and starving4 ,have ,i not already suspended this evil for months80 8,yes1 ,i do remember4 ,you are one of those busy-bodies1 who never see an evil without imagining they are the persons to correct it1 intruding into every thing1 and subverting every thing4 ,the superintendence of the public welfare is a mystery to which none are competent1 but those whom ,mahomet has raised to the situation of statesmen4 ,your interference is blasphemy against the spirit of our religion1 and deserves to be encountered with the most exemplary punishment40 8,good ,god6 then1 is it in this country a crime to feed the hungry1 to clothe the naked1 and shelter the houseless80 8,sieur de ,chatillon10 retorted the bashaw1 8you appear to be unacquainted with the maxims of ,turkish policy1 the wisest and most beneficent in the world4 ,if none of the disturbances had happened at which ,i have so much reason to be alarmed1 still1 in relieving the people in the manner you have done1 you have incurred the guilt of high treason against the sultan4 ,know1 sir1 that1 through the whole extent of his dominions1 there is but one proprietor1 and that is our illustrious monarch4 ,you say1 that you wish to be the benefactor of his subjects1 and the judge of your own proceedings3 such sentiments are direct rebellion against the glorious constitution of ,ottoman4 ,the sovereign of ,constantinople will have no benefactor in the countries he presides over1 but himself4 ,like the invisible ruler of the universe1 he acts by second causes2 he allows his ministers to be the instruments of his beneficence2 but all must be ascribed to him1 must flow from his will1 and be placed under his control4 ,you1 who have formed a plan of public benefit without consulting him1 and have presumed1 like a luminary of the world1 to move in an orbit of your own1 have in strictness of construction forfeited your life to his justice2 and ,i consult rather the clemency of his nature than the maxims of his policy1 if ,i suffer you to go from this palace with your head upon your shoulders40 ,without permitting myself to be too much moved by the imperious language addressed to me1 ,i complained to the bashaw of the rigorous and arbitrary character of what he stated to be the maxims of the ,turkish government4 ,i solemnly protested that ,i had no private or personal object in view4 ,the effect of my operations would be to give new strength and energy to his master's dominions4 ,by diffusing happiness among his subjects1 by reviving industry1 and scattering plenty1 prosperity1 and ease1 all disaffection would be rooted out2 and the people1 who are never minute in scanning the cause of their enjoyments1 would bless the sceptre under which they were made to participate such manifold benefits4 ,if the policy of the divan led them in any degree to interfere1 they ought rather to crown my measures with their applause1 than wantonly to throw obstacles in the way of what ,i purposed4 ,i asked however no reward1 ,i demanded no favour for myself2 all ,i desired was that the sultan would assist me in securing to his people those benefits1 the dissemination of which ,i had so auspiciously begun4 ,the bashaw1 without taking any direct notice of this expostulation1 answered1 that ,i was not aware of the maxims of his government1 to which1 in consideration of my seeming generosity and rectitude1 he was willing to give the mildest interpretation4 8,it is however10 continued he1 8to the last degree idle in you to imagine1 that you can be permitted to go on unobserved1 and that the sultan and his representatives are to take no account of your proceeding4 ,the great instrument for ruling mankind is by their passions and their opinions4 ,the man from whom they believe they have the most to fear and the most to hope1 will always be their master4 ,whatever be your secret or your professed designs1 you go on from day to day making yourself partisans1 and enlisting the subjects of the sultan among your personal retainers4 ,what security has he for your submission and loyalty8 ,how shall he know that1 when you have acquired the advantages of a powerful leader1 you will not go over to the enemy1 or1 in the present distracted condition of the province1 even have the audacity to set up for yourself8 ,if therefore1 by an unexampled clemency of construction1 ,i decline to reduce you into the passive machine of my master's will1 it is at least incumbent on me1 that ,i should take account of your powers1 and possess myself of the schedule of your property4 ,by this means only can ,i watch your progress1 and take care that you do not suddenly become too powerful for a subject4 ,are you prepared to satisfy me on this head80 ,on this question ,i hesitated for a moment2 ,i had not exactly anticipated the enquiry2 at length ,i requested the delay of a few days1 and then ,i promised that all his demands should be satisfied4 ,the bashaw resumed3-- 8,sieur de ,chatillon1 ,i remark your hesitation1 and ,i draw from it no favourable augury4 ,these indirect and involuntary indications are more worthy of my attention than all the studied and elaborate information you shall think proper to give me4 ,sir1 you are a man of darkness1 and every thing that relates to you is enveloped in mystery4 ,you come hither with no apparent motive2 you have no connections of blood in ,hungary2 you have no acquaintance with any eminent person of the ,hungarian nation4 ,i have had my spies on you1 though ,i have not hitherto thought proper to summon you to my presence4 ,you have purchased no property in the province2 ,i cannot learn that you have any correspondences or resources from abroad4 ,i have been at the pains to procure an account of your expenditure during the three months you have resided among us2 much of that expenditure has been obscure1 clandestine1 and indirect2 but ,i believe you will find my estimate1 which you are at liberty to inspect and remark upon1 tolerably correct4 ,your disbursements for three months1 exceed the amount of two years' income of the richest subject that even the credulous monarchs of ,christendom suffer within their dominions4 ,what am ,i to think of this8 ,how can ,i be sufficiently vigilant respecting a man1 whose expenditure is immense1 and whose wealth can neither be traced to its source1 nor ascertained in its amount80 ,i was not slow in conjecturing the result which the bashaw proposed to himself from our present conference4 ,i was confirmed in my conjecture by the circumstance of his choosing that the discussion between us should be apart from all witnesses4 ,he regarded me as a boy1 and had therefore practised upon me all those arts which might most effectually excite in me fear and alarm4 ,he found however that1 under the external indications of youth and inexperience1 ,i possessed the wariness that added years most powerfully inculcate1 and the self-possession of a mind thoroughly awake to its situation and its resources4 ,this must have been to the minister before whom ,i stood a memorable phenomenon4 ,but curiosity is not a ,turkish passion2 and the single object of the bashaw in the present instance1 was to make the mysteriousness of my circumstances a pretext for extorting money4 ,i submitted with as little seeming reluctance as possible to the necessity of the case2 ,i requested the good offices of ,muzaffer to protect my benefactions2 and begged permission to make him the compliment of a handsome sum of money1 by way of convincing him that ,i was worthy of his friendship4 ,this business was easily adjusted between us4 ,i found him perfectly skilled in the duties of a public office1 and by no means under the dominion of visionary scruples4 ,he told me he was now convinced that ,i was a well meaning man1 and a good subject2 he said1 that nothing could tend more effectually to demonstrate my innocence1 than my showing that ,i understood the duties and concerns of a minister of state2 and that for his own part he was never so happy1 as when he was thus able to reconcile his private interests with the good and faithful service of his master4 ,there was nothing that demanded a more unremitted vigilance1 or a more skilful management1 than such a situation as his2 and it would be most unreasonable1 either in the sovereign that appointed him1 or the subjects over whom he was placed1 to expect him to be indifferent to the emoluments and perquisites of his function4 ,he complimented me warmly upon the disinterestedness and liberality of my exertions4 ,he thought himself particularly fortunate in having so public-spirited an individual within the circuit of his jurisdiction4 ,in fine1 he hoped he should be honoured with my personal acquaintance1 and assured me that nothing could make him more happy than the frequent repetition of my visits4 ,we now perfectly understood one another2 and it was apparent that ,i had to do with a man1 who1 for what he deemed an adequate consideration1 would willingly lend me the authority and countenance of his office1 and suffer me to guide him in any of the functions ,i might conceive necessary for the execution of my projects4 ,guards were agreed to be placed upon the magazines where corn was still contained1 and from place to place on the banks of the rivers1 where the depredations of a misguided populace were most to be apprehended4 ,finding the bashaw so perfectly willing to comply with my requisitions1 ,i further obtained from him the direction of several squadrons of cavalry for the protection of the crops1 which from the consequences of my interference now began on all sides to variegate the scene4 ,this was a most important service4 ,when the corn was first committed to the earth1 it was out of the reach of military devastation4 ,but1 as time glided silently on1 the case became materially altered2 the enemy might from forecast desire to reap the harvest of what he had not sown1 or from malice to destroy that without which the ,turk would perhaps be unable to retain his newly acquired territory4 ,this had in reality been the principal cause1 before my arrival in ,hungary1 of the very general neglect into which agriculture had fallen4 ,muzaffer1 than whom no person could now be more polite and condescending1 allowed me to determine the number and nature of the troops ,i required2 and added that1 though he could not openly put them under my direction1 the slightest intimation ,i might think proper to convey to him1 should at any time decide their march1 and regulate their quarters4 ,,chapter ,,xxxvii4 ,in my conference with the bashaw ,i may seem to have secured more than one point of material importance2 yet it was difficult for any man to be in a state less consolatory or more full of danger and menace1 than ,i was at this moment4 ,by my vigilance and the power which thus ,i had acquired1 ,i prevented indeed the inhabitants from wantonly destroying the means of their own subsistence2 but1 the more ,i was their benefactor1 the more ,i appeared to become odious to their thoughts4 ,my negotiation with the bashaw1 whatever other benefit might accrue from it1 did not tend to increase the resources of the country2 ,i was obliged to witness many scenes of wretchedness4 ,he that would assist mankind in their adversity1 must harden his heart to be the spectator of the distress that he can1 and that he cannot1 relieve4 ,but whatever ,i beheld of this sort1 the majority of the bystanders obstinately persisted to ascribe to my deliberate malignity4 ,the military aid ,i found myself necessitated to introduce by no means tended to disarm the prejudices of my clients4 ,in one or two instances1 but no more1 slight tumults arose1 and a few of the rioters fell a prey to their own wickedness and folly4 ,these misfortunes were cast as reproach upon me2 and ,i was pursued with clamours and curses4 ,i found it requisite to obtain a guard for my person4 ,i was abhorred by those for whom all my vigilance was exerted1 and insulted by the mouths that ,i supplied with the necessaries of existence4 ,nor was this my only source of alarm and uneasiness in my present situation4 ,i was by no means a dupe to the ostentatious civility of the bashaw4 ,i perfectly understood his insinuation when he invited the frequent repetition of my visits4 ,i knew that1 however dearly ,i purchased his friendship and patronage1 ,i should still have to purchase them again and again4 ,his extortions upon me admitted of no limits1 except from his own modesty1 or the estimate he might form of my invisible resources4 ,bribery itself afforded me no complete security2 and1 now that ,i had become an object of curiosity and remark1 he had sufficiently shown me ,i was at the mercy of his caprice1 or that of his master1 for my liberty1 and even for my life4 ,yet1 could ,i have resolved to quit ,hungary1 and seek the protection of some more regular government1 what benefit should ,i derive from a removal8 ,mystery was the great and unconquerable bane of my situation1 and from the poisonous influence of mystery1 the most regular system of government was not competent to protect me4 ,it would be idle to imagine that1 in any country on earth1 a stranger would be permitted to launch into such expenses as those in which ,i was engaged1 without becoming an object of suspicion1 and being made liable to continual interruption in his measures4 ,yet1 unless allowed to use the resources ,i possessed1 of what advantage was it to be the depository of wealth without a bound8 ,was it to be wished for a man under my circumstances1 to have a family1 or to be without a family8 ,when ,i had one1 ,i found the legacy of the stranger robbing me of every comfort of that sort1 with the most calamitous aggravations4 ,when ,i was stripped of wife and children1 though no man could prize those benefits more dearly than ,i prized them1 ,i took to myself the consolation1 that at least now ,i should risk no one's happiness but my own2 and that1 for a person exercising my endowments1 it was perhaps requisite to be free from every shackle and incumbrance4 ,i found however the topic from which ,i had consoled myself1 in reality the source of a new misfortune4 ,i had the wealth of a nobleman2 but ,i was deprived of his adventitious attributes4 ,i had no illustrious ancestry to boast2 ,i had neither lineage nor parent2 ,i had neither wife nor children1 in whom mutually to reflect and see reflected the elevatedness and generosity of my station4 ,i had not even the ordinary advantage1 which is within the reach of almost every man1 of connections and acquaintance1 friends handed down to me as a branch of my patrimonial inheritance1 friends whose value experience enabled me to ascertain1 and friends with whom long habits of familiarity had given birth to reciprocal endearment4 ,the bashaw had imputed to me the design of forming a party4 ,alas6 these1 which are the great materials for cementing party attachments1 were totally denied me4 ,i had no bonds of alliance but those which money afforded1 the coarsest1 the meanest1 the least flattering1 and the most brittle of those ligatures1 that afford the semblance of uniting man with man4 ,,chapter ,,xxxviii4 ,aware of the difficulties which unavoidably sprung out of the nature of my situation1 ,i resolved immediately to endeavour to supply them to the best of my power4 ,i conceived that there was no consideration so urgent upon me at the present moment1 as that ,i should without loss of time create to myself connections that might balance and keep at bay the sallies of arbitrary rule1 and that ,i should weave with my own hand the cords of friendship4 ,i had no sooner formed this project1 than an individual suggested himself to my reflections1 whom ,i judged to be1 by a singular concurrence of circumstances1 happily fitted to be the subject of my experiment1 and admirably qualified to afford me protection in the most unfavourable events4 ,the name of this man was ,bethlem ,gabor4 ,he had been some time before brought to me by one of his friends1 and he was a man whom for a thousand reasons it was impossible to see and converse with1 without receiving the most indelible impression4 ,he was the lineal representative of one of the most illustrious houses in ,hungary4 ,his vocation1 like that of the majority of the ,hungarian nobility1 had been arms2 but1 in the midst of a fraternity all of whom were warlike1 he stood conspicuous and alone4 ,his courage1 though cool and deliberate1 almost mounted to a degree of desperate rashness2 and the fertility of his invention1 and the variety of his stratagems did not fall short of his courage4 ,the celerity of his measures was equally distinguished2 distance was no bar to him2 and he had no sooner conceived a project1 however arduous1 than it was executed4 ,he had formed under his own eye a band of men like himself1 impetuous yet deliberate1 swift in execution1 silent in march1 invincible to hardship1 contemners of fatigue1 of difficulties1 of hunger1 and of thirst4 ,when introduced to me1 he was upwards of fifty years of age4 ,he was more than six feet in stature2 and yet he was built as if it had been a colossus1 destined to sustain the weight of the starry heavens4 ,his voice was like thunder2 and he never uttered a word1 but it seemed to shake his manly chest4 ,his head and chin were clothed with a thick and shaggy hair1 in colour a dead black4 ,he had suffered considerable mutilation in the services through which he had passed2 of one of his hands three fingers were gone2 the sight of his right eye was extinguished1 and the cheek half shot away1 while the same explosion had burned his complexion into a colour that was universally dun or black4 ,his nose was scarred1 and his lips were thick and large4 ,bethlem ,gabor1 though universally respected for the honour and magnanimity of a soldier1 was not less remarkable for habits of reserve and taciturnity4 ,but these habits misfortune had caused to become more deeply ingrafted in his nature4 ,during one of his military excursions1 a party of marauders had in his absence surprised his castle1 burned it to the ground1 and savagely murdered his wife and children1 and every living creature within the walls4 ,the same stroke that rendered him childless made him also a beggar4 ,he had been regarded for his proceedings as an adherent to the ,turkish standard1 but he had always tenaciously maintained the most complete independence4 ,the adversity that had now fallen upon him was too great4 ,he would not become a pensioner of the sultan2 despair had taken fast possession of his heart4 ,he disbanded the body of men he had formed1 and wandered a solitary outcast upon the face of his country4 ,for some time he seemed to have a savage complacence in conceiving that the evil he had suffered was past all remedy1 and in spurning at those palliations and disguises with which vulgar souls are accustomed to assuage their woe4 ,yet the energy of his nature would not suffer him to rest3 he wandered an outcast2 but every day engendered some new thought or passion3 and it appeared probable that he would not yet quit the stage of existence till he had left behind him the remembrances of a terrible and desolating revenge4 ,it may seem strange that such a man as ,i have described should be the individual ,i selected out of the whole ,hungarian nation to make my friend4 ,it may seem that his qualities were better adapted to repel than attract4 ,my choice would not appear strange1 if the reader could have conversed with him1 as ,i did4 ,he was hideous to the sight2 and he never addressed himself to speak1 that ,i did not feel my very heart shudder within me4 ,seldom did he allow himself to open his thoughts2 but1 when he did1 great ,god6 what supernatural eloquence seemed to inspire and enshroud him6 ,not that upon such occasions he was copious and ,ciceronian1 but that every muscle and every limb seemed to live1 and to quiver with the thoughts he expressed4 ,the hearer could not refuse to venerate1 as well as fear him4 ,i never pitied him2 ,bethlem ,gabor's was a soul that soared to a sightless distance above the sphere of pity2 ,i can scarcely say ,i sympathised with him2 but1 when ,i listened to his complaints1 rather let me say his invectives1 ,i was astonished1 overwhelmed1 and motionless4 ,the secret of the effects he thus produced1 lay in his own way of feeling the incidents he described4 ,look at him1 when he sat alone1 wrapped in meditation1 you would say1 8,that is a man of iron2 though adversity pour her fiercest darts upon him1 he is invulnerable2 he is of too colossal a structure to be accessible to human feelings and human affections40 ,listen to his narrative1 or rather to the bursts of passion1 which with him supplied the place and performed the functions of narrative1 you would soon confess your mistake4 ,while he spoke1 he ceased to be a man1 and became something more amazing4 ,when he alluded to what he had endured1 you did not compassionate him1 for you felt that he was a creature of another nature2 but you confessed1 that never man seemed to have suffered so much1 or to savour with such bitterness the cup of woe4 ,he did not love his wife or his children as any other man would do2 he probably never dandled or fondled them2 his love was speechless2 and disdaining the common modes of exhibition1 it might sometimes be mistaken for indifference4 ,but it brooded over and clung round his heart2 and1 when it was disturbed1 when the strong ties of domestic charity were by the merciless hand of war snapped asunder1 you then saw its voluminous folds spread and convulsed before you1 gigantic and immeasurable4 ,he cursed their murderers2 he cursed mankind2 he rose up in fierce defiance of eternal providence2 and your blood curdled within you as he spoke4 ,such was ,bethlem ,gabor3 ,i could not help admiring him3 his greatness excited my wonder and my reverence2 and1 while his manners awed and overwhelmed me1 ,i felt an inexplicable attachment to his person still increasing in my bosom4 ,on his part1 my kindness and partiality appeared scarcely less pleasing to ,bethlem ,gabor1 than his character and discourse were fascinating to me4 ,he had found himself without a confidant or a friend4 ,his wife and his children in a certain degree understood him2 and1 though he had an atmosphere of repulsion beyond which no mortal ever penetrated1 they came to the edge of that1 and rested there2 they trembled involuntarily at his aspect1 but at the same time they adored and they loved him4 ,the rest of the world viewed him from a more fearful distance2 respected him1 but dared not even in fancy be familiar with him4 ,when therefore he lost his family1 he lost his all4 ,he roamed the earth in solitude1 and all men made room for him as he passed4 ,i was the first who1 since the fatal event that had made him childless and a beggar1 had courted his society1 and invited his communications4 ,i had dared to take the lion by the paw1 and seat myself next him in his den4 ,there was a similarity in our fortunes that secretly endeared him to me4 ,we had each by the malice of a hostile destiny1 though in a very different manner1 been deprived of our families2 we were each of us alone4 ,fated each to be hereafter for ever alone2 we blended ourselves the one with the other as perfectly as we could4 ,often over our gloomy bowl we mingled groans1 and sweetened our draught as we drank it with maledictions4 ,in the school of ,bethlem ,gabor ,i became acquainted with the delights of melancholy--- of a melancholy1 not that contracted1 but that swelled the soul--of a melancholy that looked down upon the world with indignation1 and that relieved its secret load with curses and execrations4 ,we frequently continued whole nights in the participation of these bitter joys2 and were surprised1 still at our serious board1 by the light of the morrow's sun4 ,i have now1 ,i believe1 fully accounted for our intimacy1 and displayed the ligatures that secretly bound us to each other4 ,it is scarcely necessary to add1 that my understanding confirmed what my heart impelled4 ,bethlem ,gabor appeared to me the fittest man in the world upon whom to fix for my friend4 ,we were qualified mutually to benefit each other4 ,my kindness1 my unremitted attentions1 the earnestness with which ,i listened to and soothed his griefs1 mitigated their agony4 ,i proposed1 when ,i could once more reconcile and incite him to activity1 to repair his castle1 and restore his fortune4 ,on the other hand1 he was1 of all the persons ,i could have pitched upon1 the ablest to protect me4 ,by his birth he ranked among the first men of his country2 by his ability1 at least as a partisan soldier1 a character at that time highly esteemed1 he rose above them all4 ,for some time ,i regarded ,bethlem ,gabor as entirely my friend1 and ,i consulted him in every thing1 in which1 compatibly with the legacy of the stranger of the summer-house1 ,i could consult him4 ,i told him of the suspicions of the bashaw1 and the precariousness of my safety4 ,i demanded his advice as to the best method of securing it4 ,ought ,i to regard it as a more effectual or as a cheaper expedient1 to attempt to purchase the countenance of the sultan1 instead of condescending to bribe his minister8 ,ought ,i to set up for myself1 and by rendering myself the independent prince of one of the ,hungarian provinces1 defy the ,turk1 or at least endeavour to negotiate with him from a more respectable and commanding situation8 ,i said more than enough under these heads1 as it afterwards appeared1 to awaken strange imaginations in a mind of so much penetration as that of ,bethlem ,gabor4 ,in fine1 ,i demanded of him whether1 in case of any great and formidable danger falling on me1 he would to the utmost of his power afford me protection8 ,when the question was first started1 he swore to me with his customary impressiveness and energy that he would4 ,while ,i was thus employed in consulting him1 and opening to him as far as was practicable my prospects and fears1 ,i did not less succeed in dissipating or suspending the despair of his melancholy4 ,it was of benefit to him in this respect1 that1 by opening to him my affairs1 ,i from time to time called off his attention from his personal misfortunes4 ,i proposed to him the rebuilding his castle1 and ,i at length obtained his permission to send off a corps of workmen for that purpose4 ,beside the castle in which his wife and children had been murdered1 and which the marauders had nearly destroyed1 he had one considerably stronger1 though void of all recommendation from cheerfulness or beauty1 in the more northerly part of the kingdom4 ,this we visited together4 ,i restored the condition of his fields2 with considerable difficulty ,i replaced the cattle he had lost1 by purchases in ,poland2 and ,i revived his dilapidated revenues4 ,at first he felt an invincible repugnance to the receiving any advantage from the bounty of another2 but by continual remonstrances ,i was able to persuade him1 that he owed me nothing1 and that what ,i did was no more than was required from me by a regard for my own safety4 ,if ever on the face of the earth there lived a misanthrope1 ,bethlem ,gabor was the man4 ,never for a moment did he forget or forgive the sanguinary catastrophe of his family2 and for his own misfortunes he seemed to have vowed vengeance against the whole human race4 ,he almost hated the very face of man2 and1 when expressions of cheerfulness1 peace1 and contentment discovered themselves in his presence1 ,i could see1 by the hideous working of his features1 that his spirit experienced intolerable agonies4 ,to him such expressions were tones horribly discordant2 all was uproar and havoc within his own bosom1 and the gaiety of other men inspired him with sentiments of invincible antipathy4 ,he never saw a festive board without an inclination to overturn it2 or a father encircled with a smiling family1 without feeling his soul thrill with suggestions of murder4 ,something1 ,i know not what1 withheld his hand3 it might be some remaining atom of humanity3 it might be--for his whole character was contemplative and close--it might be that he regarded that as a pitiful and impotent revenge1 which should cause him the next hour to be locked up as a madman1 or put to death as criminal4 ,horrible as was his personal aspect1 and wild and savage as was his mind1 yet1 as ,i have already said1 ,i felt myself attached to him4 ,i knew that all the unsocial propensities that animated him1 were the offspring of love1 were the sentiments of a lioness bereaved of her young2 and ,i found an undescribable and exhaustless pleasure in examining the sublime desolation of a mighty soul4 ,bethlem ,gabor had at first regarded me with some degree of partiality4 ,kindness in almost all cases begets kindness2 he could not see how much ,i interested myself about and how much ,i courted him1 without feeling for me a sentiment different from that he confessed for other men4 ,i saw however after some time1 with inexpressible grief1 that his regard for me1 instead of increasing1 suffered perceptible diminution4 ,our propensities were opposed to each other4 ,he rejoiced in disorder and desolation as in his congenial element2 my present pursuit was the restoration of public order and prosperity4 ,he repeatedly expostulated with me on this4 ,i had sometimes in our conversations1 in the bitterness of my recollections1 exclaimed on myself as the most unfortunate and most persecuted of men1 though without entering into an explanation of my sufferings4 ,he reminded me of these exclamations4 ,he reproached me as a contemptible and pusillanimous wretch1 that ,i did not1 like him1 resolve amply and memorably to revenge my own sufferings upon my species at large4 ,in his estimate1 the poorest and most servile of all maxims was1 that of the author of the christian religion1 to repay injury with favour1 and curses with benediction4 ,i perceived with grief that the kindness towards me that had been excited in ,bethlem ,gabor's mind1 rather declined than augmented2 but ,i was very far from being aware of the degree in which1 as ,i afterwards found1 this sentiment had relapsed into its opposite4 ,it seems1 ,i inflicted on him a daily torture by my daily efforts for the dissemination of happiness4 ,of these he had not been at first completely aware4 ,his mind had been too much absorbed in its own feelings to attend very distinctly to any thing ,i did1 unless it were done in his presence4 ,but1 in proportion as ,i soothed his sorrows1 and made him my confidant1 the film was removed2 and all that he saw had the peculiar misfortune to excite at once his contempt and his rage4 ,the finishing stroke that ,i gave to the animosity which1 unknown to me1 was now brooding and engendering in his breast1 consisted in my bestowing an important benefit upon one1 against whom he had entertained a long and eternal feud4 ,,chapter ,,xxxix4 ,while ,bethlem ,gabor became every day more confirmed in his antipathy against me1 ,i reposed in him an unsuspecting confidence--a confidence more extensive than ,i had1 since the singular and fatal acquisition ,i had made1 reposed in any other man4 ,frequently for a considerable time together he resided under my roof2 frequently we went forth together in those excursions which either my projects or his views rendered it necessary for us to make4 ,in his character of a nobleman of great consideration in his native country1 he was now rising like a phnix from its ashes4 ,his castles were repairing2 his property was restored2 the list of his retainers daily became more numerous2 he revived and carefully recruited the martial band1 which1 in the first exacerbations of his despair1 he had dismissed from his service4 ,my purse and all that ,i had were his2 he never made a demand upon me that ,i did not instantly supply2 ,i reaped a particular pleasure from the largeness and frequency of his requisitions2 there was nothing for which ,i was more anxious1 than to bind him to me in indissoluble ties of gratitude and affection4 ,little1 alas6 did ,i understand the compound of tenderness and ferocity1 of decisiveness and inscrutability1 with which ,i was now concerned4 ,my friend1 such ,i esteemed him1 had been absent some time2 ,i expected his return to my residence at ,buda2 and anxious to pay him every mark of attention and respect1 ,i set out to meet him4 ,it was scarcely safe1 during the existing hostilities between the ,austrians and the ,turks1 to travel any where without a guard2 ,i had the precaution in the present instance to take with me an attendance of twenty men4 ,it was after having partaken of a slight and early dinner that ,i set out on my excursion4 ,the season was remarkably fine1 and the air genial and balsamic4 ,i scarcely ever commenced any tour with more agreeable sensations4 ,the harvest was already ripe2 and1 as ,i passed along1 ,i saw reapers from time to time entering upon the first essay of their interesting occupation4 ,i felt that ,i had at length surmounted one of those difficulties1 with which ,i had been so strongly assailed1 and to which ,i had refused to yield4 ,if ,i were not free from apprehensions from the arbitrary nature of the government under which ,i lived1 ,i believed however that ,i had nothing further to dread from the misconstruction and animosity of the nation ,i preserved4 ,my anxiety as to whether ,i should be able to substantiate the benefit ,i had sought to confer1 was at an end2 and ,i had little doubt that1 with the plenteous crops which were on the point of being gathered1 my popularity would return1 and the gratitude of my clients become more ardent than ever4 ,it was a delicious enjoyment that ,i now experienced2 the pleasures that the eye unavoidably takes in from the spectacle of a luxuriant autumn1 became blended in my mind with the ideas of famine put to flight1 my own rectitude vindicated1 and the benevolent purposes realised1 the prosecution of which had cost me so profound a heartache4 ,we at length passed the lines of the soldiers planted for the defence of the soil against the depredations of the enemy4 ,i had calculated that ,i should meet my guest a few leagues from ,buda2 ,i was deceived in my estimate4 ,the day however of his arrival was fixed2 ,i could not be mistaken in his route2 ,i resolved not to turn back without meeting him4 ,the road ,i took led upon the borders of that part of ,hungary which owned the ,austrian yoke2 the shades of night were fast gathering round us1 and we heard at a distance the alarm-guns and the drums of the enemy4 ,i was not however a novice in the appearances of a country1 the seat of military excursions and war2 and1 if my mind were not wholly free from perturbation and uncertainty1 ,i at least resolved not to be turned aside from my purpose4 ,we travelled two hours longer2 still no notice of the approach of ,bethlem ,gabor4 ,at length a question was started whether we were still in the right road1 and ,i thought it advisable to hold a sort of council of war to deliberate respecting our further proceedings4 ,having assembled my attendants for that purpose1 ,i was now first struck with the apprehensions and timidity which they unanimously betrayed4 ,they had been drawn out rather for show1 and to keep accidental stragglers in awe1 than with the expectation of actual service4 ,i became sensible that nothing was to be hoped from their resistance in the event of an action2 and the utmost ,i could aim at was in the mean time to hold them together by the sentiment of a common danger4 ,it was resolved to return2 ,i began to be apprehensive that ,bethlem ,gabor had been prevented by some unexpected occurrence from observing his appointment4 ,scarcely had we faced about1 before we heard a body of cavalry approaching us4 ,i called to my party to halt4 ,i soon discerned1 from symptoms not difficult to be remarked by a careful observer1 that the party at hand was composed of ,austro-,hungarians4 ,we had every thing to fear from them4 ,i held myself bound under these circumstances first to make experiment of the fleetness of our horses4 ,i however charged my people to keep together1 and not to suffer the enemy1 by means of our inadvertence and folly1 to make an easy prize of us one after another4 ,in a short time ,i found that our pursuers sensibly gained ground upon us4 ,i was mounted upon an excellent beast1 and could easily have rode away from my troop1 while they would have been placed as a sort of intercepting object between me and the enemy4 ,but ,i had too much of a military spirit not instantly to reject so inglorious an expedient4 ,i called a second time to my attendants to halt4 ,i judged that the party of our antagonists was less numerous than ours4 ,i was convinced that our common safety depended upon our concerted resistance4 ,filled with the gallantry that my situation inspired1 ,i did not perceive1 till it was too late1 that my present call to halt was attended to by few2 even those few rather hung back1 divided between apprehension and shame4 ,i was the foremost1 and1 before ,i was aware1 ,i found myself1 through the means of the darkness1 enveloped by the enemy4 ,from my appearance they judged that ,i was the master1 and the rest my attendants2 they contented themselves therefore with the prize they had made1 and did not give themselves the trouble to pursue the fugitives4 ,they eagerly enquired of me who ,i was2 and1 comparing my answers with various circumstances which rumour had brought to their ear1 they easily concluded that ,i was the rich stranger of ,buda4 ,the character they had heard of me did not produce in these freebooters any sentiments of forbearance1 or demonstrations of respect2 the only point about which persons of their habits were concerned1 was how they should make the greatest advantage of what the fortune of war had thrown in their way4 ,while they were consulting1 and various expedients were started by one and another for this purpose1 a second alarm was given1 and one of the party being despatched to reconnoitre1 presently returned with intelligence1 that the persons approaching were horsemen of the enemy1 and that they amounted1 as he guessed1 to forty in number4 ,upon this information the party whose prisoner ,i was1 agreed to return with all expedition by the way they had come1 and commanded me upon pain of death to proceed in their company4 ,this menace had not the effect to deprive me of courage or presence of mind2 and ,i easily conceived that the readiest way to deliver myself from my embarrassment would be to join at the first opportunity the band of ,turco-,hungarians1 whose approach had occasioned our sudden retreat4 ,the darkness of the night was favourable to my purpose2 and1 taking advantage of a sudden winding in the road1 ,i slackened all at once the pace of my horse without being observed by my companions1 who1 as the enemy approached1 had now their thoughts almost wholly intent upon the safety of their retreat4 ,they passed me2 and ,i no sooner perceived that to be the case1 than1 covered from their observation by the intervening inclosure1 ,i turned my horse1 and gradually1 as my distance from my keepers increased1 urged him to a fuller speed4 ,it was not long before ,i came up with the band which had produced our alarm2 and hailing them with the acclamation1 8,long live the mighty sultan60 was without difficulty admitted into their troop4 ,i instantly understood to my great joy that this was the party of ,bethlem ,gabor that ,i had come out to meet4 ,he received me with much cordiality1 and seemed greatly rejoiced that fortune had made him the instrument of my rescue4 ,he proposed however that1 having met on the road1 ,i should now1 instead of proceeding to ,buda1 return with him to his northern castle1 from which our distance was scarcely greater than from the metropolis4 ,the proposal was such as ,i had not expected1 nor could ,i well comprehend the purpose with which it was made4 ,but the habitual demeanour of ,bethlem ,gabor neither accorded with his minutely assigning a reason for what he did1 nor was calculated to encourage enquiry in another4 ,i saw no material objection1 and therefore felt little scruple in yielding to his desires4 ,our brief consultation on this point passed at some little distance from the rest of the troop4 ,when the morning broke1 the first thing that excited my attention was the appearance of his followers4 ,they were full forty in number1 well mounted1 of a large and athletic figure1 with sun-burnt faces1 immense whiskers and a ferocious countenance4 ,i thought ,i had never seen so tremendous a band4 ,to me they were every one of them strangers2 of all the persons that surrounded me1 the only one of whom ,i had the slightest knowledge was ,bethlem ,gabor himself4 ,i know not why it was1 but ,i no sooner beheld my situation than ,i was struck with alarm4 ,i saw myself completely in the power of a man who three months before was ignorant even of my existence4 ,i had not a single attendant of my own1 not an individual with me over whom ,i had personal authority or command4 ,i had no reason to distrust my host2 towards me his demeanour had ever been frank1 confidential1 and manly2 ,i had every imaginable claim upon his generosity and his gratitude4 ,but our senses are often the masters of our mind1 and reason vainly opposes itself to the liveliness of their impressions4 ,every time that ,i lifted my eyes1 and saw myself hemmed in by these barbarians1 my heart seemed involuntarily to fail me4 ,bethlem ,gabor too appeared to neglect me2 he had never shown himself so little obliging and attentive as at this moment2 and1 aided by the rest of the scene1 ,i thought ,i had never beheld him so deformed or so tremendous4 ,i was more than half inclined to wish myself again a prisoner with the ,austrians4 ,when we arrived at the castle1 we were all of us fatigued and hungry2 we had roamed during the whole night4 ,a repast was prepared2 we sat down to partake of it4 8,excuse me10 said ,bethlem ,gabor1 in a low voice as he passed me1 8that ,i this night offer you the fare of a soldier2 to-morrow you shall be accommodated in a different manner40 ,the words were innocent2 the proceeding natural2 but there was a mysterious gloom1 at least as ,i thought1 in the tone in which he spoke1 that electrified me4 ,the hall in which we supped was spacious and lofty2 the naked walls and rafters were imbrowned with age4 ,though it was daybreak as we entered1 the windows were still darkened1 and the apartment was illuminated only by the partial glare of lamps depending from the roof4 ,as ,i sat at table with the troop of my host1 ,i appeared to myself as if inclosed in a cavern of banditti4 ,though excellent partisans1 skilful in execution1 and perfect in their discipline1 they were unpolished in their manners and brutal in their conversation4 ,i had been inured from infancy to all the refinement that the age in which ,i lived had any where to boast2 and1 amidst the various evils ,i had suffered1 that of being associated with the vulgar and the base had never presented itself4 ,while they uttered1 now a loathsome jest1 and now a sanguinary ejaculation1 ,i became ashamed of my species1 and the pride of manhood perished within me4 ,they however paid little attention either to my feelings or my person2 and1 accustomed as ,i had been1 whether with friends or enemies1 to be regarded as of some importance1 ,i found myself unaccountably and suddenly dwindled into a cipher4 ,i felt it like a release from the state of a galley-slave1 when ,bethlem ,gabor proposed that we should break up our meeting and retire to rest4 ,,chapter ,,xl4 ,a succession of gloomy thoughts revolved in my mind for some time after ,i was left to myself4 ,i was however overcome with fatigue1 and1 after an interval of harassing meditations1 insensibly fell asleep4 ,i was awakened after some hours' repose1 by the presence of ,bethlem ,gabor standing by the side of my couch4 ,he invited me to rise1 and1 when ,i had attired myself1 started the plan of our visiting together the various apartments of the castle1 a small part of which only had been seen by me when ,i was last at this place4 ,among other things1 he told me1 there was a subterranean of most wonderful extent1 interspersed with a variety of cells and lurking places1 of which no man had to his knowledge ever ascertained the number4 ,the same dreary complexion of thought followed me to-day1 which had been first produced in me upon my reception into the troop of ,bethlem ,gabor the preceding night4 ,my sensations were of the most depressing and discomfiting nature2 ,i felt as if ,i were the slave of some dark1 mysterious tyrant1 and dragged along supinely wherever he motioned me to go4 ,i tasked myself seriously2 ,i reasoned with myself4 ,i felt that it was no idle and every-day part that ,i was called to sustain2 and ,i resolved that ,i would not be ruined by my own inactivity and cowardice4 ,yet1 when ,i examined the question dispassionately1 ,i could not find that ,i had any occasion for courage1 and ,i confessed that it was not less censurable1 to discover a useless spirit of mistrust and defiance1 than to desert one's preservation where resistance was demanded4 ,what reason had ,i to suspect a man between whom and myself there had prevailed so much mutual confidence8 ,none1 none1 ,i replied1 but the causeless and superstitious misgivings of my own mind6 ,even if ,i had ground to distrust him1 what remedy had ,i against his ill faith1 placed as ,i was in the midst of his own domains1 and surrounded by men devoted to his service8 ,to discover apprehension under such circumstances1 was to excite animosity4--,these reasonings particularly occurred to my mind1 as ,i stood waiting for the torch1 which he had himself gone to procure that he might attend me to the subterranean caverns4--,i had as yet seen no one1 since we broke up from our nightly repast1 but my host4 8,we will breakfast10 said he1 8when we return from viewing these curiosities40 ,we crept along a succession of dark and gloomy vaults1 almost in silence4 ,bethlem ,gabor1 though he led me on1 and discharged the office of a guide1 seemed to have small inclination to assume that of an interpreter4 ,this was sufficiently in unison with his ordinary character1 to have little claim to excite surprise4 ,yet the reader will not on reflection greatly wonder that my present situation was far from agreeable4 ,i was alone in passages which1 to judge from any discoverable token1 you would scarcely imagine had for ages been trod by a human creature4 ,the voice was lost amidst the damps of these immense caverns2 nor was it possible by any exertion to call the hand of man to your aid4 ,my guide was an individual whom calamity had prompted to quarrel with the world2 of strong feelings indeed1 of capacious thought2 but rugged1 ferocious1 brutal1 and inaccessible to prayer4 ,i had chosen him for my protector and ally2 ,i had never intended to put myself in his power4 ,there was a mystery in his carriage1 a something not to be explained1 a shell that no human forces could penetrate1 that was mortal to confidence1 and might quail the stoutest4 ,i thought there would be no end to our pilgrimage4 ,at length we came to a strong door1 cross-barred and secured with a frame of iron4 ,bethlem ,gabor unlocked it4 ,we had no sooner entered1 that it impetuously closed behind us4 8,what is that80 said ,i1 startled at the loudness of the report4 8,come on10 cried my host2 8it is only the wind whistling through the caverns3 the spring-bolt is shot1 but ,i have the key in my hand60 ,at the opposite end of the apartment was another door with an ascent of five steps leading to it4 ,bethlem ,gabor unlocked that also1 and then faced about with the torch in his hand3 ,i was close behind him4 8,stay where you are60 said he with a furious accent1 and thrust me violently from him4 ,the violence was unexpected3 ,i staggered from the top of the steps to the bottom4 ,this door closed with as loud a report as the other2 ,bethlem ,gabor disappeared2 ,i was left in darkness4 ,for an instant ,i doubted whether the situation in which ,i thus found myself were the result of design or of accident4 ,the shutting of the door might be ascribed to the latter3 the action however1 and the words of my host did not admit of that interpretation4 ,i stood motionless1 astonished1 and almost incapable of reflection4 ,what an incredible reverse was thus the creature of a moment6 ,yesterday ,i possessed unbounded treasures1 and the hearts of the whole ,turco-,hungarian nation4 ,yesterday1 as ,i rode forth on this fatal excursion1 ,i beheld the food of a mighty people1 mature for consumption1 the growth of my exertions2 and it will not be thought surprising that my heart leaped within me at the sight4 ,who would not have envied the unparalleled eminence at which ,i had arrived8 ,my triumphs were attended with no melancholy exceptions to damp their joy4 ,they were the children of no intrigue2 they were manly1 frank1 ingenuous1 and honourable4 ,my laurels were stained with no drop of blood1 were tarnished with no tears of the widow and the orphan4 ,how much more noble to rescue mankind from famine and death1 than to violate the honest pride of their nature with the exhibition of victories and trophies6 ,yet1 truly considered1 there was nothing abrupt in the reverse under which ,i was now suffering4 ,the whole was a chain1 every link of which was indissolubly connected from one end to the other4 ,my attempt to rescue a people from the horrors of famine necessarily exposed me to unfavourable accidents and misconstruction4 ,it inevitably led to my application to the government for its aid4 ,it could not fail to excite the alarms and jealousies of government as to the tendency of my proceedings4 ,by exhibiting me as the possessor of immense wealth1 with very limited means for the protection of that wealth1 it marked me a prey to a rapacious viceroy or his more despotic master4 ,when ,i became sensible of the precarious situation in which ,i stood towards the powers of the state1 could ,i have fallen upon a more natural expedient1 than the endeavour to cover myself with the shield of friendship and gratitude in the person of one of its nobles8 ,but this expedient would almost infallibly lead to the placing myself sooner or later in the power of the man whose friendship ,i sought4 ,i had done so1 and this was the termination of my views and my projects6 ,i now well understood the purpose of that inattention and neglect with which ,bethlem ,gabor had treated me the preceding evening1 the uneasiness resulting from which ,i had blamed in myself at the time1 as the dictate of weakness and unworthy suspicion4 ,yesterday ,i had been placed under the safeguard of a nation2 every man in ,buda and its environs was familiar with my person2 every man would have been ready almost to sacrifice his life to procure my safety4 ,now ,i was far from the scene of my philanthropical exertions2 no one in the troop of ,bethlem ,gabor knew who ,i was2 he had appeared to treat me the preceding evening with indifference and contempt2 if they saw me no more1 no curiosity would by that circumstance be excited in their minds4 ,my clients on the other hand in the vicinity of the metropolis1 however great an interest they might take in my fortune1 had no clue that could lead them to the knowledge of it4 ,they must suppose me a prisoner with the ,austrians1 or that ,i had been killed1 in resisting to become their prisoner4 ,i was cut off from all assistance and discovery1 and left as much in the power of my treacherous ally1 as if ,i had been alone with him1 oppressed with the utmost disparity of personal force1 in the remotest island of the ,pacific ,ocean4 ,such were the reflections that early suggested themselves to my mind in the solitude and darkness in which ,i was thus unexpectedly involved4 ,meanwhile one tedious hour succeeded to another1 and ,i remained unintruded on and unnoticed4 ,i could form no conjecture as to the object of ,bethlem ,gabor in the atrocious perfidy he had committed4 ,could he have any resentment against me1 and did he meditate revenge8 ,he had received from me nothing but benefits4 ,did he employ restraint on my person as the means of extortion8 ,i could not conceive that he could have any clue leading him to the discovery of my grand secret2 and1 short of this1 my bounties had been so exuberant1 as1 ,i imagined1 left him nothing to wish4 ,in this wilderness of conjecture ,i however fixed upon extortion as a motive less incredible than revenge4 ,i impatiently waited1 till the appearance of my tyrant should free me from some part of my present uncertainty4 ,he did not appear4 ,in the mean time ,i was in a condition feeble and exhausted4 ,the exercise of yesterday1 the hourly-baffled expectation of meeting him whom ,i had called my friend1 the alternation of being first taken prisoner and afterwards rescued1 had extremely fatigued me4 ,we had travelled during the whole night4 ,yet the unaccountable dejection of mind under which ,i laboured on our arrival at ,bethlem ,gabor's castle had prevented me from taking almost any share in the coarse repast that had then been set before us4 ,the entrance of my host in the morning had rendered my slumbers short4 ,as ,i followed him to my dungeon1 unconscious whither ,i went1 my limbs ached1 and my heart ached still more4 ,i was ill prepared for a fast of thirty-six hours which the brutality of my jailor inflicted upon me4 ,after having long expected him in vain1 ,i gave myself up to despair4 ,what a termination of life for him who possessed the philosopher's stone6 ,i cannot do justice to the sensations that now took possession of my mind4 ,it was not the deadly calm of despair1 for ,i still expected every moment when ,bethlem ,gabor would appear4 ,i believed than he would1 and ,i believed that he would not1 leave me to perish4 ,i listened with eager attention to every sound1 and my soul floated on the howling winds4 ,in vain6 nothing came of it2 there was no alteration in the sound1 or only those vicissitudes to which the howling of the wind is unavoidably subject4 ,i then turned away in anguish2 ,i cursed2 ,i stamped with my feet2 ,i smote my forehead with my closed hand2 ,i tore my hair4 ,anon another sound arrested my attention2 it was a different howling2 it seemed to be like a human voice2 my fancy created to me the tread of a human foot4 ,i listened with more intentness of soul than ever4 ,it was again in vain6 ,no1 no2 he will not come6 he will never come4 ,why should ,i agitate myself to no purpose8 ,let me lie down and die6--,i reasoned with myself4 ,why should ,i wish to live8 ,i am nothing to any human being3 ,i am alone in the boundless universe2 ,i have no tie to existence4 ,st4 ,leon has no wife2 ,st4 ,leon has no child2 he has neither connection nor friend in the world4 ,even in this wretched vision of the philosopher's stone1 have ,i not tried it enough8 have ,i any hopes from it8 is it not time that ,i should throw away that and existence together8--,my meditations were ineffectual4 ,i suppose it is the case with all men thus violently thrust out of life in the full possession of their faculties--,i know it was the case with me1--the more peremptory was my summoner1 the more obstinately ,i clung to the worthless toy4 ,at length ,i laid myself down on the floor2 and1 if ,i occasionally listened1 ,i no longer ran to the walls and the doors to catch the uncertain sounds4 ,the gnawings ,i now felt within were intolerable4 ,they were at one period so severe1 that ,i can compare them to nothing1 but the sensation of having swallowed a glowing ember4 ,afterwards1 the weakness of nature would no longer feed this excruciating pain1 and it subsided into a starting and convulsive throb2 the pain was diversified with intervals of a death-like and insupportable sickness4--,but1 no2 ,i will not attempt to describe the horrors of hunger sublimed by despair1 where the torture of the mind gives new pungency and uproar to the corporeal anguish4 ,the image1 as it now presents itself to my recollection1 is too dreadful4 ,at last ,i sunk into a state of insensibility2 and the agony ,i had suffered seemed drawn to its final close4 ,the busy turmoil1 the feverish dream of human existence was at an end4 ,i shut my eyes1 and ,i believed ,i should open them no more4 ,,chapter ,,xli4 ,how long ,i endured this suspension of the vital faculties ,i cannot tell4 ,the next impression on my sensorium1 subsequent to those ,i have described1 was a sort of external twitching and violence that seemed to persecute me4 ,it was an importunity from which ,i felt desirous to escape2 ,i longed to be undisturbed and at rest4 ,the intruder on my quiet would not leave me2 and ,i at length roused myself1 as if to put away my cause of molestation4 ,my thoughts were all confounded and obscure2 ,i knew not where1 ,i could scarcely be said to know who1 ,i was4 ,a little more effort brought with it a further capacity of perception2 ,i saw before me1 what was now the chief object of my mortal aversion1 the figure of ,bethlem ,gabor4 ,it was some time longer1 before ,i became aware that he had been employed in taking up my apparently lifeless corpse1 placing it on a stone-bench in the side of the cave1 and chaining it to the wall4 ,he observed the motions that indicated in me returning life3 he remarked the stare of my glassy and rayless eyes2 he now spoke with a stern and unpitying voice--8,there is food2 there is a light2 eat60 ,having thus said1 he left me4 ,what a cruel and remorseless treatment6 ,he cared not for my life2 he disdained to make the slightest exertion to restore me2 he left it to chance whether ,i should revive or perish4 ,the figure of a dying man that ,i presented1 did not make one fibre of his bosom bend or quiver4 ,i revived2 ,i ate4 ,by degrees ,i recovered from the deadly languor which had invaded my senses4 ,in about twelve hours longer ,bethlem ,gabor returned with a new supply of sustenance4 ,i was now strong enough to be able to converse with him4 ,i heard the heavy sound of opening locks and removing bolts before he entered1 and ,i summoned my faculties to expostulate with him4 8,why am ,i here8 ,what is the meaning of the unworthy way in which you treat me80 8,it is10--he regarded me with a truculent aspect1 as if he would pierce through my heart1--8because ,i hate you60 8,you hate me8 ,good ,god6 is it possible8 ,what evil have ,i done to you8 ,what good have ,i not done you8 ,what supplies have ,i refused you8 ,what occasions have ,i neglected of studying your advantage1 your interest1 and your honour8 ,if thus your hatred is purchased1 how shall that man demean himself who is to purchase your love80 8,oh1 think not my hatred idle or capricious6 ,heaven knows1 ,i would have refrained from hating you if ,i had been able2 ,i struggled against it with all the energies of my soul4 ,but you have committed towards me the most mortal offences that man ever endured4 ,there is an antipathy between your nature and mine1 that all the menstruums in the world could never bring to coalesce40 8,eternal ,providence6 and what is the source of this antipathy80 8,and do you profess ignorance8 ,have you not gone on day after day with the full consciousness and will to torment me8 ,have ,i not warned you1 and expostulated with you times without number80 8,of what have you warned me80 8,i hate mankind4 ,i was not born to hate them4 ,i have no native obliquity of character4 ,i have no diabolical maliciousness of constitution4 ,but they have forced me to hate them1 and the debt of abhorrence shall be amply paid4 8,i loved as never mortal loved4 ,no human heart was ever so devoted1 and centred1 and enveloped in the kindly affections of family and parentage as mine has been4 ,was not my wife1 were not my children1 murdered8 ,when ,i came home to feast my eyes and tranquillise my soul with the sight of them1 did ,i not find all waste and desolation8 ,did ,i not find their bodies naked1 pale1 disfigured with wounds1 plunged in blood1 and already putrid8 ,this was the welcome ,i looked for6 ,this was the object ,i so speeded to see6 ,no1 never was a moment like that6 ,my whole nature was changed in an instant4 ,my eyes were blasted and dried to horn4 ,my blood froze in my well stored veins4 ,i have no longer delight but in human misery4 8,my revenge is not causeless2 this was not the act of individuals4 ,all men1 in the place of these murderers1 would have done as they did4 ,they are in a league together4 ,human pity and forbearance never had a harbour but in my breast2 and ,i have now abjured them4 ,with something more of inwrought vigour and energy1 ,i will become like to my brethren4 ,all men are excited by the same motives1 urged by the same temptations1 influenced by the same inducements4 ,why should ,i attempt a futile distinction1 when nature had made none8 ,all men bear the same figure2 ,i cannot view the human figure without a torture the most dreadful40 8,i always knew10 answered ,i1 8your general hatred of mankind2 but your manners and your behaviour persuaded me that you exempted me from the general censure40 8,i wished to do so2 you made the attempt impossible4 ,you told me1 that you had suffered the same misfortunes which ,i had2 that you1 by the injustice and persecutions of men1 had also lost your wife and your children4 ,i hailed you as a brother2 in my heart ,i swore to you eternal friendship2 ,i said1 we will carry on this holy warfare together4 ,we communicated to each other our mutual sorrows2 with you1 and you only1 ,i found moments of consolation4 8,soon ,i discovered my mistake4 ,instead of1 like me1 seeking occasions of glorious mischief and vengeance1 you took upon yourself to be the benefactor and parent of mankind4 ,what vocation had you to the task8 ,with the spirit of a slave who1 the more he is beaten1 becomes the more servile and submissive1 you remunerated injuries with benefits4 ,i found that there was not within you one atom of generous sentiment1 one honest glow of fervent indignation4 ,chicken-hearted wretch6 poor1 soulless poltroon6 to say the best of you1 to your insensate heart it was the same whether you were treated with reverence or scorn4 ,i saw you hunted1 hooted at1 and pursued by the people you fed2 you held on your course1 and fed them still4 ,i was compelled to witness or to hear of your senseless liberalities every day ,i lived4 ,could ,i submit to this torment1 and not endeavour to remove it8 ,i hate the man in whom kindness produces no responsive affection1 and injustice no swell1 no glow of resentment4 ,i hated you the more1 because1 having suffered what ,i had suffered1 your feelings and conduct on the occasion have been the reverse of mine4 ,your character1 ,i thank ,god6 is of all beings the most opposite to that of ,bethlem ,gabor4 8,at length you filled up the measure of the various thwartings with which you daily insulted me4 ,there was one native of ,hungary between whom and me there subsisted an open and eternal war4 ,i relate in no human ear the cause of my animosity to that man4 ,suffice it1 that it was deep1 immeasurable1 inexpiable4 ,with a refinement of cruelty and insult difficult to conceive1 you chose that man for one of the objects of your beneficence4 ,would ,i consent to see my name joined in pension list with my mortal enemy8 ,the injury you inflicted on me would have been less if you had stabbed me to the heart4 ,less8 ,that would have been a blessing4 ,i impose on myself the task of living for my revenge3 but never shall ,i deem that man my foe1 who should rid me of all this tumult of passions1 and this insupportable load of existence together4 8,you have heard my motives4 ,you may wonder at1 you may censure them3 but they are human4 ,i have nothing further to say to you now3 you have no need to recur to expostulation2 expostulation never moved the heart of ,bethlem ,gabor4 ,hereafter you shall hear more60 ,thus speaking1 he left me2 and ,i must confess1 with whatever disgrace to my sagacity1 he opened upon me a new world4 ,i conceived not1 till now1 the faintest suspicion of what had been labouring in his bosom4 ,amidst all my experience of the varieties of human character1 this was a species that had never fallen under my observation before4 ,what a painful and mortifying occurrence is it in human life1 when we have lived with a man from day to day1 when we have conversed with him familiarly1 and seen him in all the changes of circumstance1 and when we flatter ourselves we have penetrated all the recesses of his heart1 suddenly to start upon something portentous that brooded there1 of which to that moment we had not the lightest suspicion6 ,i am not the only individual to whom this event has occurred4 ,in a subsequent visit of ,bethlem ,gabor to my cell 7for he only attended me with provisions1 he would intrust the secret of my confinement to no other mortal71 ,i intreated him to inform me with what intention he retained me a prisoner1 and to fix a price on my ransom4 ,to this overture he appeared to yield some degree of attention4 ,he made no explicit answer1 but asked with an inquisitive and severe tone1 in what manner ,i imagined ,i could procure money in my dungeon8 8,let us agree upon the terms1 and set me at large4 ,you have never found me deceitful1 and you shall not find me deceitful now40 8,do not hope ,i will consent to that4 ,i ask you again1 in what manner do you imagine you can procure money in your dungeon80 ,i reflected for a moment4 ,liberty is ineffably sweet2 and whatever followed1 upon the present overture1 ,i was determined not to neglect the faintest prospect that led to a termination of my confinement4 8,there is10 answered ,i1 8in my mansion at ,buda1 a chest which1 if it can be brought to me hither1 will enable me to supply your demands4 ,i have the key in my custody1 and no key but my own will unlock the treasure40 8,give me the key60 replied ,bethlem ,gabor4 8,no10 rejoined ,i1 8it is in my custody2 it is not upon my person3 ,i have taken care of that4 ,no human hand shall touch it but my own40 8,and how can ,i cause this chest to be brought to you without risking a discovery of your situation1 or that ,i had a concern in your disappearance80 8,of that10 said ,i1 8judge for yourself4 ,i have made a proposition to you1 and ,i have done enough4 ,i will have no share in the detail of its execution40 8,well10 said ,bethlem ,gabor1 after having ruminated a moment1 8the chest you shall have2 ,i undertake that4 ,describe it40 ,i described the chest1 and its situation in my house1 with a minuteness that made mistake impossible4 ,after a considerable time it was brought to me4 ,it was too bulky and ponderous to be introduced into my cell by a single arm4 ,but ,bethlem ,gabor1 having first caused me unconsciously to swallow a powerful opiate1 found no difficulty1 either to conceal my person in the dark shadows of this ragged subterranean1 or to cause some of his followers to place the chest within my reach1 believing that they placed it in a vacant apartment4 ,i awoke1 and found it at hand4 ,i was secure that the lock was such a one as could not be forced2 but ,i examined the different surfaces1 to see whether violence of any other sort had been exercised on it4 ,there were marks of damage1 but not sufficiently unequivocal to enable me to form a certain judgment on this point4 ,the chest contained1 not gold1 but the implements for making and fashioning gold4 ,allowing for the distance from which it was brought1 they appeared to be pretty exactly in the state in which ,i left them4 ,i had never placed much confidence in this expedient for softening the heart of ,bethlem ,gabor2 but ,i perceived that it would serve at worst to divert my thoughts1 and1 by exciting in me some share of expectation1 might call off my attention from the miseries of my present condition4 ,embracing the occasions when ,i was most secure against the intrusion of my jailor1 ,i provided myself with the sum that had been previously agreed on between us4 ,my task being finished1 ,i carefully displayed the produce of my labour1 against the next time ,bethlem ,gabor should visit my cell4 ,he viewed it with an air of sullen and gloomy triumph2 he removed it from the cave which was my habitation1 to an apartment of this subterraneous abode1 little distant from my own4 ,when he had concluded this employment1 it seemed to be a just inference1 that he was to give me my liberty4 ,he did no such thing4 ,without uttering a word1 he closed the door of my cavern1 locked it1 and departed4 ,when ,bethlem ,gabor next entered my cell1 ,i reproached him with this1 as with the breach of a solemn engagement4 ,his first answer was an infernal laugh1 expressive of derision1 hard-heartedness1 and contempt4 ,by and by1 however1 he condescended to explain himself more fully4 8,i made no engagement10 cried he4 8,you talked of a ransom1 and ,i suffered you to talk4 ,i made you no answer2 ,i gave you no encouragement4 ,boy1 ,i deceived you not6 ,no2 though my heart pants for vengeance and for misery1 ,i will never be guilty of treachery2 ,i will break no engagements2 ,i am a knight and a soldier4 ,you have given me ten thousand ducats2 what are ten thousand ducats to me8 ,do you think ,i am uninformed of your secret8 ,i opened your chest2 ,i found no gold2 its contents were crucibles1 minerals1 chemical preparations1 and the tools of an artist4 ,you are possessed of the grand arcanum1 the philosophers stone4 ,if ,i had a doubt of it before1 the transaction of yesterday converted conjecture into certainty4 ,and did you suppose1 idiot1 driveller that you are1 that ,i would take ten thousand ducats in commutation for wealth inexhaustible8 ,no2 you are my prisoner1 and may choose1 in this infallible dilemma1 whether you will remain my slave1 to supply me daily resources as ,i shall daily think proper to demand1 or at once make over to me your whole mystery1 and place me in this respect on a level with yourself40 ,it was now my part to be peremptory and firm4 8,i refuse10 said ,i1 8every part of your dilemma1 and all that you can propose to me4 ,do you talk of my remaining your slave1 to supply you with daily resources8 ,do you imagine that1 shut up in this dungeon1 ,i will nevertheless labour for your gratification8 ,do you believe that that gift1 which ,i received as the instrument of my own happiness and the benefit of mankind1 shall be made the pledge of my perpetual imprisonment8 8,with regard to imparting to you the secret you suppose me to possess1 ,i answer without hesitation1 that1 dearly as ,i prize liberty1 and numerous as are the motives you may think ,i have to prize it1 ,i will not purchase my liberty at that rate4 ,i would rather spend the days of eternity in this cavern1 than comply with your proposal4 ,the gift of the philosopher's stone1 the moment a man possesses it1 purifies his mind from sordid and ignoble inducements4 ,the endowment which raises him so much above his species1 makes him glory in his superiority1 and cherish his innocence4 ,he cannot1 if he would1 mingle in the low passions and pursuits of the generality of mankind4 ,for myself1 ,i value too much the verdict of my own heart1 ever to allow myself to be influenced in the main concerns of my existence by menaces and compulsion4 ,beside1 this gift ,i received for holy and beneficent purposes2 to such it is consecrated2 and if ,i ever impart it1 ,i must select its depository with all the assiduity and penetration it is practicable for me to exert4 ,you ,i will henceforth benefit no more4 ,you hate me2 my disapprobation of you is fixed and irrevocable4 ,i weep to think how much ,i have been deceived in you2 ,i weep to think how many high and heroic qualities in your breast are now converted into malignity and venom4--,you the possessor of the philosopher's stone6 ,you tell me1 the sole pursuit of the rest of your life is revenge and human misery4 ,what an image do you raise in my mind1 if1 with such dispositions1 you possessed the means which the acquisition of riches inexhaustible would confer on you8 ,and do you believe that any consideration on earth could induce me to realise such an image80 8,as you please10 replied ,bethlem ,gabor indignantly4 8,i have nothing to propose to you4 ,think you that1 either as my enemy or my slave1 and ,i hold you for both1 ,i would descend to negotiate with you8 ,i simply told you your situation4 ,yours be the consequences of your wilfulness and folly6 8,one mistake however that ,i see you make respecting my purposes1 ,i will remove4 ,you seem to suppose that1 if you were to communicate to me your secret1 ,i would then set you at liberty4 ,no1 by heavens6 ,this cavern is your abode for ever4 ,you shall never go forth from it alive2 and1 when you are dead1 here your flesh shall moulder1 and your skeleton shall rest1 as long as the world remains4 ,look round your walls6 ,enter fully into possession of your final home6 ,i know that to keep you here and alive my prisoner1 ,i must in a certain sense imprison myself4 ,but at that ,i do not murmur4 ,i shall have the gratification of beholding my foe1 and seeing him daily wither in disappointment4 ,you wish to be a father to the human race2 and ,i shall deem the scope of my misanthropy almost satisfied1 while1 in your restraint1 ,i image myself as making the human race an orphan4 ,never shall ,bethlem ,gabor set at large a man of your unnatural and gall-less disposition1 and your powers for the indulgence of that disposition4 8,sieur de ,chatillon1 ,i do not want your secret3 it suffices that ,i know you possess it4 ,have ,i not yourself in my keeping8 ,it will be more joy to me rudely to issue my commands1 and to see you complying with them in spite of the most heartfelt reluctance1 than to possess the richest gift on earth in the fullest independence4 ,think you ,bethlem ,gabor incompetent to tame the tenant of this wretched cavern8 ,boy1 you are my prisoner2 you shall be my creature4 ,i will humble you at my feet1 and teach you to implore my bounty for the most miserable pittance4 ,look to it6 ,you know your destiny6 ,do not provoke my fury1 without a foresight of the consequences60 ,i will enter into little further detail of this my wretched imprisonment in the wilds of ,hungary4 ,it was not destitute of its varieties2 and ,i could1 if ,i pleased1 fill a volume with the artifices and the violence of my gloomy superintendent4 ,i could fill volumes with the detail of the multiplied expedients1 the furious menaces1 the gigantic starts and rhapsodies of passion1 by which he alternately urged me to compliance and concession4 ,but ,i will not4 ,i will bring to an end the history of ,bethlem ,gabor2 and then1 having detailed the surprising events that immediately followed it1 will close the page of ,st4 ,leon's history for ever4 ,i stood like a rock4 ,shut out from all other gratifications1 ,i at least resolved to accumulate in my own person all the energies of resistance4 ,if ,i were to unfold the story1 ,i could command the reader's astonishment1 his admiration2 but the object of these papers is to record1 not my merits1 but my fate4 ,how different was my imprisonment in the cavern of the man-abhorring palatine1 from that which ,i had experienced in the dungeons of the inquisition6 ,there an inexorable apathy prevailed3 my tyrants were indifferent whether ,i died or lived2 filled with the sense of their religious elevation1 they held on the even gravity of their course1 and counted my groans and my tears neither for remorse nor pleasure4 ,the variety ,i experienced in their dungeons was the growth of my own thoughts3 from without ,i encountered no interruption2 it was not to be ascribed to those who held me in durance1 if my faculties were not lethargied into death4 ,bethlem ,gabor possessed no share of their apathy2 his malice was ever alive1 his hatred ever ingenious and new in its devices4 ,he had a purpose to answer1--to extort from me the supply of his necessities and projects4 ,it was not so much perhaps that he stood in need of this1 as that he placed a pride in it1 and had fiercely resolved to show me that ,i was unreservedly his slave4 ,his animosity against me was so fixed and insatiable1 that nothing that was pain to me was indifferent to him4 ,if at any time he saw me subsiding into insensibility1 he failed not to exert himself to sting me into life again4 ,the consequence of this was somewhat different from what ,bethlem ,gabor expected4 ,desponding as ,i was1 weary of life1 and almost finally alienated from the all-coveted gift of the philosopher's stone1 if he had left me to myself1 ,i should very probably have sought in insensibility relief from the torment of my own thoughts4 ,but he taught me a better lesson4 ,refusing me the indulgence of torpor1 he obliged me to string myself to resistance4 ,he gave me a passion2 he gave me an object2 he gave me comparative happiness4 ,i was roused to opposition2 ,i was resolved that1 placed1 as ,i seemed to be1 at his mercy1 ,i would yield him no atom of his desires4 ,thus employed1 ,i found in my employment pride4 ,perpetual occasion presented itself for fortitude2 and ,i gradually ascended to the sweets of consistency1 perseverance1 and self-gratulation4 ,i had for years been inured to satisfy myself with a sparing stock of pleasures2 and ,i was less at a loss to expand and ramify those which ,i now possessed1 than almost any other man would have been in my situation4 ,if my attendant train of sensations was scanty1 ,bethlem ,gabor took care to afford them a perpetual supply of food and employment1 and ,i was comparatively little exposed to the pain of vacuity4 ,when he saw that ,i was inflexible1 and that he could no longer gain from me the smallest compliance with his will1 he raged against me with terrifying fury4 ,was it a crime in me1 that this fury in my tyrant produced the operation of a sedative and a cordial8 ,there was no malignity in the joy it gave me4 ,i had much aversion for ,bethlem ,gabor1 but no hatred4 ,i took no pleasure in his agonies1 because they were agonies4 ,my sympathies towards him now1 ,i confess1 were small2 but the joy ,i felt was because his fury told me1 was the unwilling evidence of my own value4 ,i left him to assail the mound ,i opposed to his desires as he pleased2 it remained strong and unaffected as the sea-beaten promontory4--,from the inefficacy of his efforts1 ,i sometimes took occasion to remonstrate with my jailor1 and demand the restoration of my liberty2 but ,bethlem ,gabor was not a man whom arguments and expostulations like these could move4 ,in spite of himself however ,i commanded his wonder1 if not his esteem4 ,he regarded the contrast as almost incredible1 between the boy-aspect under which he saw me1 and the inflexibility and resources of my time-instructed mind4 ,the contentment that ,i have here described in myself1 was however a creature of the imagination1 the forced progeny of uncommon effort4 ,it was no natural state of the soul4 ,my mind would sometimes wander beyond the limits of my cavern1 and remember that there were other persons beside ,bethlem ,gabor and myself in the world4 ,i recollected the situation in which ,i had left my great project for the reviviscence of ,hungary1 and rejoiced to remember that it was already in such forwardness1 as1 ,i hoped1 no longer to stand in absolute need of my assistance4 ,yet what ,i had done was but a small portion1 a dismembered branch1 of what ,i had meditated to do1 and what every person of a generous and enterprising mind1 who had been in possession of the philosopher's stone1 would have designed4 ,why was ,i thus stopped in the commencement of a career so auspiciously begun1 and to which an ardent fancy1 would prescribe no limits8 ,why was every power of the social constitution1 every caprice of the multitude1 every insidious project of the noble1 thus instantly in arms against so liberal and grand an undertaking8 ,nor could ,i help repining at the perverseness of my fate1 which had decreed that ,i should savour all the bitterness incidentally resulting from my plan1 and not be permitted so much as to taste the applause and reward that ought to grow out of its completion4 ,thousands of men were at this instant indebted to my generosity and exertions for every blessing they enjoyed2 and ,i was cast forth as the refuse of the earth1 pining under the alternate succession of solitude1 negligence1 and malice1 my very existence and the manner of it unknown1 except to one individual1 who had1 from the strangest and most unexpected motives1 sworn eternal hostility to me4 ,bethlem ,gabor had resolved that1 so long as he lived1 ,i should remain a prisoner3 when he died1 if he continued my only jailor1 the single individual acquainted with the place of my confinement1 the probable issue was that ,i should perish with hunger4 ,twelve years before1 ,i should have contemplated this attitude and condition of existence with indescribable horror4 ,but within that time ,i had been better taught4 ,i had received an education1 ,i thank them1 in the dungeons of the ,spanish inquisition2 and1 if that be properly considered1 it will not be wondered at that ,i was superior to ordinary terrors4 ,early in my present situation the presentiment had suggested itself to me that1 by some striking event1 ,i should be rescued from my present confinement2 and1 improbable as the suggestion was1 it made an indelible impression on my mind4 ,i had originated in1 or it had produced1 a dream1 the scenes of which had appeared particularly luminous and vivid4 ,i imagined ,i saw a knight1 cased complete in proof1 enter my prison4 ,a smile of angelic kindness beamed on his countenance4 ,he embraced me with ardour2 he made a sign to me to follow him4 ,i felt that ,i had seen him somewhere1 that he had been my intimate friend4 ,yet all the efforts ,i made in sleep1 or afterwards when ,i was awake1 were unavailing to remove the mystery that hung upon his features4 ,i rose to obey him2 the ground trembled under my feet like an earthquake4 ,presently1 with the incoherency usually attendant on a dream1 the figure changed to that of a female of unblemished grace and beauty2 it unfolded a pair of radiant wings2 we ascended together in the air2 ,i looked down1 and saw the castle of ,bethlem ,gabor a prey to devouring flames4--,here ended my dream4 ,i soon felt that ,i could reason myself out of all confidence in the presages of this wild and incongruous vision4 ,but ,i refused to do it2 my consolations were not so plenteous in this frightful solitude as that ,i should willingly part with one so delicious4 ,reason1 thus applied1 ,i contemplated as an abhorred intruder4 ,it was1 for a long time1 part of my occupation in every day to ruminate on this vision1 not with the sternness of a syllogist1 but with the colouring of a painter1 and the rapture of a bard4 ,from thus obstinately dwelling on it in the day1 it happened that it became again and again and again my vision of the night4 ,slumbers like these were truly refreshing1 and armed and nerved me for the contentions of my tyrant4 ,sacred and adorable power of fancy1 that can thus purify and irradiate the damps of a dungeon1 and extract from midnight glooms and impervious darkness perceptions more lovely and inspiriting than noontide splendour6 ,,chapter ,,xlii4 ,i had now continued here for several months1 and in all that time had received no external impressions but such as related to the cell ,i inhabited1 and the misanthropical savage by whom it was visited4 ,one evening that ,bethlem ,gabor entered my dungeon1 ,i observed in him an air of unusual disturbance4 ,where apathy reigns1 the intercourse between those over whom it presides will be marked with a death-like uniformity2 but wherever the furious passions take their turn1 they will occasionally subside into a semblance of familiarity and benevolence4 ,there was something in the countenance of my tyrant that made me for a moment forget the complicated injuries ,i had received from him4 8,what is it that has disturbed you80 cried ,i4 ,there was no answer4 ,there was a knitting in his brow1 and a contraction in his features1 that showed me his silence was an effort4 ,he departed however1 and had already passed the threshold of my dungeon4 ,the door was in his hand4 ,he returned4 8,chatillon10 said he1 8perhaps you will never see me more60 8,my castle is besieged4 ,i have passed through dangers of a thousand names1 and ,i ought not to be made serious by that which now assails me4 ,but a gloomy presentiment hangs upon my mind4 ,the busy phantom of life has lasted too long1 and ,i am sick at heart4 ,in the worst event ,i will not be made a prisoner2 ,i will die fighting4 8,i feel as if this were the last day of my existence2 and1 upon the brink of the grave1 animosity and ferociousness die away in my soul4 ,in this solemn moment1 my original character returns here 7striking his heart7 to take possession of its native home2 a character1 stern and serious1 if you will2 but not sanguinary1 not cruel1 not treacherous or unjust4 ,between you and me there is a deadly antipathy2 but you did not make yourself2 you intended me friendship and advantage2 the sufferings you have experienced from me in return have been sufficiently severe4 ,if ,i die defending my walls1 and you remain thus1 you will perish with hunger4 ,i had intended it should be so2 but ,i am now willing to remit this part of your fate4 ,i will enter into a compromise with you2 ,i will trust to your fidelity1 and your honour4 ,i will take off your chains2 ,i will bring you a timepiece and torches2 ,i will leave with you the key of the spring lock of your cavern1--provided you will engage your word to me that you will not attempt to make use of your advantages till the expiration of twenty-four hours40 ,to these terms ,i assented without hesitation4 ,the chains fell from my wrists and my ancles2 ,i stood up once more unshackled1 and in respect of my limbs a free man4 ,when ,bethlem ,gabor was on the point to depart1 my soul melted within me4 ,i took hold of his hand2 my fingers trembled2 ,i grasped and pressed the fingers of my tyrant4 ,i cannot describe what then passed in my bosom4 ,no man can understand my sensations1 who had not been in my situation1 who had not passed through a treatment1 arbitrary1 ferocious1 and inhuman1 and had not then seen the being who had wounded him so unpardonably1 suddenly changing his character1 commiserating his fate1 and rescuing him from destruction4 ,from this time ,i saw ,bethlem ,gabor no more2 he died1 as he had sworn to do1 in the last dike of his fortress4 ,his self-balanced and mighty soul could not submit to the condition of a prisoner2 he was nothing1 if he were not free as the air1 and wild as the winds4 ,i may be mistaken2 but this appears to me to have been a great and admirable man4 ,he had within him all the ingredients of sublimity2 and surely the ingredients of sublimity are the materials of heroic virtue4 ,i have much cause of complaint against him2 he conceived towards me an animosity the most barbarous and unprovoked2 but1 in writing this narrative1 ,i have placed my pride in controlling the suggestions of resentment1 and ,i have endeavoured to do him justice4 ,i had engaged to wait twenty-four hours2 ,i waited only six4 ,i know not how the reader will decide upon the morality of my conduct2 but ,i own ,i had not the force1 ,i believe ,i may call it the insensibility1 to remain in my dungeon any longer4 ,there was no doubt that1 if ,bethlem ,gabor returned a conqueror1 the term of my imprisonment would be renewed1 and all his former menaces continued in force4 ,what should ,i deserve to have thought of me1 if ,i could sit down idly1 and tamely wait the return of my jailor8 ,no6 liberty is one of the rights that ,i put on when ,i put on the form of a man1 and no event is of power to dissolve or abdicate that right4 ,of what validity was the promise that ,bethlem ,gabor extorted from me by compulsion1 and as the condition of that which he had no title to withhold8 ,what gratitude did ,i owe to this man1 who treated me with every contumely1 and shrunk from nothing but the thought of causing me to perish with hunger8 ,whatever became of my attempt to escape1 ,i could at least in this vast subterranean hide myself from the face of him who had injured me4 ,i had a provision of phosphorus in my chest2 and could therefore extinguish my torch upon the slightest alarm1 and relume it at pleasure4 ,what was the value of life1 situated as ,i was situated8 ,it was better to perish in the attempt to escape1 than linger on for ever in perpetual imprisonment4 ,as a further resource ,i left a billet in my dungeon 7for for this also ,i had implements7 intreating ,bethlem ,gabor by every motive of compassion and humanity to provide for me the means of sustenance as usual4 ,having taken these precautions1 ,i lighted a fresh torch2 and1 unlocking the door1 and thrusting the key into my girdle1 set out upon my expedition4 ,though ,bethlem ,gabor had stipulated for twenty-four hours1 the siege might even now be over1 and ,i trembled every instant lest my jailor should return4 ,i wandered for a considerable time among the alleys and windings of this immeasurable cavern4 ,i had the precaution to mark the sides of the vault with characters and tokens as ,i passed1 that1 if necessary1 ,i might be able to find the way back to my dungeon3 this might prove an indispensable resource1 to prevent me from perishing with hunger4 ,once or twice ,i changed my route1 inferring from a comparison of circumstances1 the best ,i could make1 that ,i was not in the direction of the castle from which ,bethlem ,gabor had led me to my imprisonment4 ,in all this wandering ,i had seen nothing1 ,i had heard nothing1 which could demonstrate to me that ,i was approaching the habitation of man4 ,i had groped my way for near two hours1 when on a sudden ,i heard a loud and tremendous shout that almost stunned me1 and that from its uncommon shock could be at no great distance from the place where ,i stood4 ,this was succeeded by a terrifying glare of light4 ,i extinguished my torch1 both that ,i might be better qualified to observe1 and that ,i might be less in danger of discovery by any one who should approach me unawares4 ,the shouts were several times repeated4 ,the light ,i found to proceed from that end of the vault towards which ,i had been advancing1 and1 by the best conjectures ,i could form1 ,i concluded the outlet into the castle to be at no great distance4 ,i heard the crackling of the flames1 and the fall of rafters and beams4 ,presently ,i discerned a volume of smoke approaching me1 and found that1 if ,i remained long in my present station1 ,i should incur the risk of being suffocated4 ,i formed my resolution4 ,i concluded that ,bethlem ,gabor's castle was taken1 and set on fire by the ,austrians4 ,i believed that my persecutor was already no more3 to this faith ,i was undoubtedly prompted by the presentiment which he had communicated to me4 ,i saw that it would be impossible for me to emerge into light1 till the flames should abate4 ,i once more therefore lighted my torch1 and returned by the straightest road ,i could find to my dungeon4 ,arrived there1 ,i proposed to pass the interval quietly1 in the cavern where ,i had so long felt the weight of the ,hungarian's chains4 ,suddenly however the suggestion occurred to me1 may not my conjectures be false8 may not ,bethlem ,gabor yet repel the enemy1 and return to me from amidst the ruins of his falling castle8 ,the thought was sickness and extinction to my heart4 ,hope6 beautiful as are thy visions1 in how much anguish and agony do they clothe the terrors of disappointment6 ,never had ,bethlem ,gabor been half so dreadful to me as now4 ,i shrunk away2 ,i took with me the fragments of provision that yet remained2 ,i hid myself2 ,i deemed no cell remote enough to conceal me from the inhuman persecution of my tyrant4 ,i continued in the subterranean all that day and all the succeeding night4 ,once in this period ,i attempted to reconnoitre the avenue of my escape1 but ,i found the situation still so heated and suffocating that ,i did not venture to proceed4 ,at length ,i came forth from this den of horrors1 and again beheld the light of the sun4 ,the path had already been sufficiently explored by me1 and ,i no longer found any material obstacles4 ,i now saw that my conjectures were true3 the castle of my ferocious adversary was a pile of ruins4 ,the walls indeed for the most part remained1 but choked with fragments of the falling edifice1 blackened with the flames1 and penetrated in every direction by the light of day4 ,with difficulty ,i climbed over the ruins1 which opposed my egress from the subterranean1 and rendered my passage to the outside of the castle an affair of peril and caution4 ,here the first object that struck me was some tents1 probably of the soldiers who had been employed in this work of destruction4 ,i was hailed by a sentinel1 and ,i demanded that he would conduct me to his commander4 ,he led me to the centre of the little encampment1 and ,i stood in the presence of his chief4 ,i lifted my eye to behold him1 and was petrified with such astonishment as till that hour ,i had never felt4 ,it was ,charles1 my son1 my only son1 the darling of his mother1 the idol of my soul6 ,,chapter ,,xliii4 ,it may seem extraordinary that ,i should instantly have known him4 ,he was sitting at a table1 covered with papers1 and with one or two aides-de-camp waiting to receive his orders4 ,he was clothed in complete armour1 and his casque was resting on the ground by his side4 ,when ,i entered1 his eye was fixed on a despatch that day received from the great palatine of ,hungary2 but1 in little more than a minute1 he raised his head1 and his countenance was completely presented to my view4 ,it was fifteen years since ,i had beheld it2 he was then scarcely above half his present age1 a mere stripling1 in whom the first blush of manhood had awakened the sentiment of independence and an honour impatient of a shade2 he was now a leader of warlike bands1 his complexion olived over with service1 and his eye rendered steady with observation and thought4 ,but ,i knew him2 ,i knew him in a moment4 ,my soul1 with the rapidity of lightning1 told me who he was4 ,not all the arts in the world could have hid him from me2 not all the tales that delusion ever framed could have baffled me2 ,i could have challenged him against the earth6 ,i have already had occasion to explain the complexity of my feelings1 when1 after a long absence1 ,i visited the heiresses of the house of ,st4 ,leon4 ,the sweets of recognition1 that transporting effervescence of the mind1 where the heart bounds to meet a kindred heart1 where emotions and tears mingle in speechless encounter1 where all is gazing love and strict embrace1--these pleasures were denied me4 ,i stood stiff and motionless in the presence of my child4 ,my heart might burst2 but it must not1 and it could not communicate its feelings4 ,after an instant's pause of overwhelming sensation1 ,i sunk back on myself1 and considered my own figure4 ,it happened that1 exactly opposite to me1 in the tent of my son1 hung his armour1 and over the rest his polished shield1 in which ,i saw my own person clearly reflected4 ,the youth of my figure indeed was still visible2 but the hardships of my dungeon had imprinted themselves in glaring characters on my face4 ,my beard was neglected1 my hair was matted and shaggy1 my complexion was of a strong and deadly yellow4 ,my appearance to a considerable degree told my story without the need of words4 ,charles enquired of those who brought me1 where they had found this wretched and unhappy figure2 and was told that ,i had been seen a few minutes before coming out from the ruins of ,bethlem ,gabor's castle4 ,he humanely and naturally concluded1 that ,i was a victim on whom the tyrant had exercised his ferocity1 and that ,i had been shut up in some dungeon of the fortress3 it was impossible that any person above ground in the castle should have come out alive from the operation of the flames4 ,he commanded that ,i should be led to a neighbouring tent and taken care of4 ,after having been refreshed with food and rest1 and attired with other apparel1 he directed that ,i should be brought to him again1 that he might hear my story4 ,under these circumstances there was nothing for which ,i was more anxious1 than that ,i might recruit myself1 and shake off as quickly as possible the effects of my confinement4 ,cordials were brought me1 and ,i tasted of them3 ,i bathed in a neighbouring stream3 one of my son's attendants removed my beard1 and arranged my hair4 ,i now desired to be left alone1 that ,i might take some needful repose4 ,i could not sleep2 but ,i reclined my limbs upon a couch1 and began to collect my thoughts4 ,i saw myself in one hour the sport of the most complete reverse of fortune that could happen to a mortal4 ,i had been the prisoner of a cavern so wild and pathless1 as almost to defy the utmost extent of human sagacity to explore its recesses4 ,from this cavern1 but for the sudden and extraordinary event which had just occurred1 ,i could never have come forth alive4 ,all sober calculation would have taught me to expect that ,i should have remained there1 chained up like a savage tiger in his cage1 as long as ,bethlem ,gabor existed2 and that1 when he died1 ,i should perish1 unheard1 unknown2 no creature that lived suspecting my situation1 no lapse of ages ever bringing to light my dismal catastrophe4 ,the remorse and relenting of ,bethlem ,gabor towards me seemed so little to accord with any thing that ,i had personally witnessed of his habits and his mind1 that even now ,i feel myself totally unable to account for it4 ,as it was however1 ,i was once again free4 ,from the state of an outlaw imprisoned for life1 ,i suddenly saw myself at large1 inspirited by the light of the sun1 and refreshed by his genial rays1 in the full possession of youth and all its faculties1 enabled to return amidst my clients of ,buda1 or to seek some new adventure1 in any corner of the earth to which my inclination led me4 ,there is no man1 however overwhelmed with calamities1 however persecuted with endless disappointment1 however disgusted with life and all its specious allurements1 to whom so sudden and admirable a change would not convey some portion of elasticity and joy4 ,but there was one thought that entirely occupied me4 ,i cannot describe how my soul yearned towards this my only son3 the sentiment1 even now as ,i write1 is an oppression ,i am scarcely able to sustain4 ,willingly1 most willingly1 would ,i have traversed every region of the globe1 if so ,i might have discovered his unknown retreat3 and now suddenly1 without the smallest effort on my part1 he was placed before me4 ,his last solemn parting1 his abjuration of my society and intercourse for ever1 rose to my memory1 and gave a zest inexpressible to our present encounter4 ,at the thought that my son was in the neighbouring tent1 all earthly objects beside faded from my mind1 and appeared uninteresting and contemptible4 ,i instantly resolved to devote myself to his service1 and to place all my enjoyment in the contemplation of his happiness1 and the secret consciousness of promoting it4 ,he had1 if ,i may so express myself1 in my own person forbidden me his presence3 in my now altered figure ,i might disobey his injunction without fearing his rebuke4 ,let not the reader condemn me1 that1 endowed as ,i was with unlimited powers of action1 ,i preferred a single individual1 my own son1 to all the world beside4 ,philanthropy is a godlike virtue1 and can never be too loudly commended1 or too ardently enjoined2 but natural affection winds itself in so many folds about the heart1 and is the parent of so complicated1 so various and exquisite emotions1 that he who should attempt to divest himself of it1 will find that he is divesting himself of all that is most to be coveted in existence4 ,it is not a selfish propensity2 on the contrary1 ,i will venture to affirm that the generosity it breathes is its greatest charm4 ,beside1 in my case ,i considered my own existence as blasted2 and ,i could therefore find nothing better than to forget myself in my son4 ,i had made a sufficient experiment of the philosopher's stone1 and all my experiments had miscarried4 ,my latest trials in attempting to be the benefactor of nations and mankind1 not only had been themselves abortive1 but contained in them shrewd indications that no similar plan could ever succeed4 ,i therefore discarded1 for the present at least1 all ambitious and comprehensive views1 and believed that ,i ought to be well content1 if ,i could prove the unknown benefactor of the son of ,marguerite de ,damville4 ,i entered into a solemn engagement with myself that ,i would forget and trample upon every personal concern1 and be the victim and the sacrifice1 if need were1 of the happiness of my child4 ,dismissing my project of becoming a factor for the ,hungarian people1 ,i determined to lay aside the name of ,chatillon1 and cut off every indication that might connect my present existence with that of the rich stranger of ,buda4 ,one of the advantages ,i possessed for that purpose was1 that no creature in ,hungary had the slightest suspicion that the sieur de ,chatillon had ever been the prisoner of ,bethlem ,gabor4 ,having thus arranged my thoughts1 ,i now called for the garments that had been assigned me4 ,they were supplied me from the stock of my son2 and1 when ,i had put them on1 ,i overheard the attendants whispering to each other their astonishment1 at the striking resemblance between their master and myself4 ,when ,i came once more into the tent of their captain1 and stood as in the former instance before his shield1 ,i did not wonder at their remark4 ,the coincidence of our features was so great1 that1 had we passed through a strange place in each other's company1 ,i should infallibly have been regarded as his younger brother4 ,yet there was something of ,marguerite in the countenance of ,charles that ,i wanted4 ,when ,i recovered1 as in a short time afterwards ,i did1 my vigour and health1 ,i was more blooming than he2 but there was something graceful1 ingenuous and prepossessing in his aspect1 which ,i could by no means boast in an equal degree1 and which might have carried him unhurt and honoured through the world4 ,we shall see some of the effects of this in what ,i shall presently have occasion to relate4 ,when my son required of me to declare who ,i was1 ,i told him1 as ,i had already determined to do1 that ,i was a cadet of the house of ,aubigny in ,france2 that1 after having passed through several other countries1 ,i had come into ,poland with the floating and half formed purpose of entering as a volunteer against the ,turk2 but that1 before my plan was completely arranged1 having been led1 by my juvenile ardour in a hunting party1 far within the frontier of ,hungary1 ,i had been so unfortunate as to become a prisoner to the troopers of ,bethlem ,gabor4 ,i added that1 when introduced to their chief1 ,i had given him so much offence1 by the firmness of my manner1 and my refusing to comply with certain propositions he made me1 that he had thrust me into a dungeon1 from which1 but for the gallant exertions of the present detachment1 ,i should never have come out alive4 ,charles heard my story with attention and interest4 ,he called on me to resume my courage and my hopes1 and to be confident that my sufferings were now at an end4 ,he told me1 that he was a ,frenchman as well as myself1 and like myself1 had been a soldier of fortune4 ,he felt1 he said1 a powerful sympathy in my tale2 there was something in my countenance that irresistibly won his kindness2 and1 if ,i would put myself under his protection1 he did not doubt to be the means of my future success4 ,he spoke with great asperity of ,bethlem ,gabor1 who1 as an intrepid1 indefatigable and sanguinary partisan1 had been the author of greater mischiefs to the ,christian cause1 than any of the immediate servants of the sultan of ,constantinople4 ,he congratulated himself that the same action that had delivered the world from so murderous a renegado1 had rendered him the preserver of a youth of so much enterprise and worth1 as he doubted not ,i should prove4 ,he said1 there was but one other man in ,hungary1 who had been so effectual an enemy to the cause of truth and ,christianity as ,bethlem ,gabor4 ,the name of this man he understood was ,chatillon1 and he grieved to say that he bore the appellation of a ,frenchman4 ,to the eternal disgrace of the nation that gave him birth1 he had joined the ,turkish standard1 and1 by exertions difficult to be comprehended1 had rescued the infidels from famine at a time when1 but for his inauspicious interference1 ,buda1 and perhaps every strong town in ,hungary1 were on the point of falling into the hands of the ,christians4 ,it was this same man who had revived the resources of ,bethlem ,gabor1 after they had once before1 by his own fortunate exertions1 been routed out2 and whom ,i might therefore in some sense consider as the author of my calamities1 as well as the inveterate foe of ,christendom4 ,such a wretch as this was scarcely entitled to the common benefit of the laws of war3 and he would not answer for himself if ,chatillon had fallen into his power1 to what extremity his holy resentment against this degenerate fellow-countryman might have hurried him4 ,providence however had overtaken him in his impious career2 and he had fallen obscurely1 as he had lived basely1 in a night skirmish with a party of marauders from the ,austrian camp4--,the reader may believe that ,i did not a little rejoice that1 in announcing myself a few moments before1 ,i had taken the name1 not of ,chatillon1 but ,d',aubigny4 ,what ,i heard however occasioned in me a profound reflection on the capriciousness of honour and fame1 and the strange contrarieties with which opposite prejudices cause the same action to be viewed4 ,i could not repress the vehemence of my emotions1 while ,i was thus calumniated and vilified for actions1 which ,i had firmly believed no malice could misrepresent1 and fondly supposed that all sects and ages1 as far as their record extended1 would agree to admire4 ,in another point of view1 the invective which my son thus unconsciously poured in my ears1 had the effect of making me regard with a more complacent satisfaction the plan ,i had formed of devoting myself to his service4 ,here ,i pursued no delusive meteor of fame2 the very essence of my project lay in its obscurity4 ,kings and prelates1 armies and churches1 would no longer find an interest in disputing about my measures2 ,i should indulge the secret promptings of my soul1 undisturbed alike by the censure of the world1 and its applause4 ,it was thus that1 under every change of fortune1 ,i continued to soothe my soul with delusive dreams4 ,meanwhile my project went on with the happiest auspices4 ,the friendship between me and ,charles continued hourly to increase4 ,as a ,frenchman1 whom chance had introduced to his acquaintance in a distant country1 it was natural that he should feel a strong bias of affection towards me4 ,but that sort of fraternal resemblance which the most inattentive spectator remarked in us1 operated forcibly to the increase of ,charles's attachment4 ,he would often1 in the ingenuous opening of his soul towards me1 call me his brother1 and swear that ,i should for ever experience from him a brother's love4 ,charles had by this time completed the thirty-second year of his age2 ,i was1 in appearance1 at least ten years younger than he4 ,there is something in this degree of disparity1 that greatly contributes to the cultivation of kindness1 and is adapted to the engendering a thousand interesting sentiments4 ,frequently would he exclaim1 8,our fortunes1 my dear ,henry10 that was the name ,i assumed1 8have been in a considerable degree similar3 we were both of us early cast on the world2 ,i indeed at the immature age of seventeen4 ,i entered the world without an adviser or a friend2 but my destiny was favourable1 and ,i escaped its quicksands and its rocks4 ,i have now by a concurrence of happy circumstances obtained a place among honourable men and soldiers1 and for what is to come may reasonably regard myself with some degree of confidence4 ,you are yet in one of the most dangerous periods of human life2 your work is all to do2 your battles are yet to fight4 ,suffer me1 my dear friend1 to represent your better genius1 and act an elder brother's part4 ,you shall find me no ignorant ,mentor1 and no ungentle one40 ,nothing could be more gratifying to me than to see the shoots of affection thus springing up spontaneously in ,charles's bosom4 ,i willingly humoured the generous deception that he was putting on himself1 and heard with transports inconceivable his assurances of kindness and protection4 ,we rode1 and we walked together2 we were in a manner inseparable4 ,when he went out to reconnoitre1 ,i was his chosen companion2 when he inspected the discipline and condition of his soldiers1 he applied that opportunity to initiate me in the science of war2 when he expected to encounter the enemy1 he placed me immediately by his side4 ,sometimes he would open his heart to me1 and dwell with a melancholy delight upon his secret sorrows4 8,it is no wonder1 my ,henry10 he would say1 8that ,i feel this uncommon attachment to you4 ,i am alone in the world4 ,i have no father1 no mother1 and no brethren4 ,i am an exile from my country1 and cut off for ever from those of my own lineage and blood4 ,it is with inexpressible delight that ,i thus cheat the malice of my fate1 and hold you to my bosom as if you were indeed my brother4 ,i would not part with the fiction for the mines of ,peru2 and ,i know not whether ,i do not cultivate it more assiduously1 and regard it with a sentiment of more anxiety and zeal1 because it is a fiction1 than ,i should do if it were a reality4 ,i had indeed10 added ,charles1 8a mother60--,and1 when he had started this theme1 he would dwell for ever on her praises4 ,i easily saw that never son loved a mother more cordially1 than ,charles loved the all-accomplished ,marguerite4 ,with what sentiments did ,i hear her eulogium8 ,i could not join in her praises2 ,i could not be supposed to know her4 ,i stood there1 as the statue of ,prometheus might have done1 if1 after being informed with a living soul1 the ,gods had seen fit to chain its limbs in everlasting marble4 ,the passion within me panted and laboured for a vent2 but ,i was invincibly silent4 ,with what sentiments did ,i hear her eulogium8 ,every word of it was a dagger to my heart2 every word said1 8,and thou1 villain1 wert not thou her murderer80 more painfully1 than the fiercest reproaches could have done4 ,when ,charles had celebrated with an eloquence truly divine this incomparable mother1 a sudden pang of memory would make him start into rage4----8,and this mother ,i left6 ,of this mother ,i cannot tell whether she is alive or dead6 ,what shall ,i say8 the crime1 or the not less fatal error of my father1 separated me from this mother6 ,i loved my father3 ,i loved him because he was my father2 ,i had great obligations to him2 he once had virtues4 ,but my mother1--if ,i could have found her in the wildest desert of ,africa1 and have known her virtues1 a stranger to my blood1 descended from the remotest tribe of the human race1 ,i should have chosen her for my friend1 my preceptress and my guide1 beyond all that youth and beauty1 with their most radiant charms1 could tender to my acceptance60 ,thus unconsciously1 yet ingeniously1 did my dear son from time to time torture his father's heart4 ,i could not even deliver him from the gloomy and wretched uncertainty1 whether this mother were alive or dead4 ,with one word ,i could have composed his soul into a sober grief2 ,i could have said1 ,your adorable mother at length rests from her sorrows2 she is no longer the victim of a misguided and a cruel father2 you have no longer occasion to brood over that most disconsolate of reflections1 8,i know not what anguish may be at this moment suffered by her who is entitled to all my duty and all my affection40 ,with one word ,i might have told this2 and that word ,i dared not utter4 ,,chapter ,,xliv4 ,my son related to me his history1 and made me the depository of his feelings and reflections4 ,the name of ,st4 ,leon indeed never passed his lips2 ,i felt that he had consigned that to inviolable oblivion4 ,the appellation he bore in the army was the chevalier de ,damville4 ,soon after he abandoned me at ,dresden1 he had entered as a volunteer in the imperial army4 ,charles the ,fifth was at that time assembling forces to encounter the confederates of the league of ,smalcalde4 ,in this situation my son was eminently fortunate4 ,he was distinguished for uncommon enterprise and courage in some of the first actions of the war1 and early attracted the notice of ,gian-,battista ,castaldo1 count of ,piadena1 who held an eminent command under the emperor4 ,in this army my son was a party to the decisive battle of ,muhlberg1 in ,april1 #aedg4 ,four years afterwards1 ,castaldo was appointed commander in chief against the ,turks in ,hungary1 and the ,french chevalier accompanied his patron to this new scene of military enterprise4 ,charles had felt dissatisfied with the grounds and motives of war between the ,catholics and ,protestants of ,germany1 men worshipping the same ,saviour1 and appealing to the same authorities1 but many of them at least1 from the most upright and ingenuous scruples1 differing in their interpretation of those authorities4 ,but1 in their contentions between the crescent and the cross1 he entered with unbounded enthusiasm into all the feelings that constitute a champion or a martyr4 ,he conceived that whatever was dear to the human race in this world or the next hung on the issue2 he regarded the grandeur of the cause as purifying his efforts and consecrating his name2 and1 when he lifted his sword in vindication of an expiring ,god1 he felt himself steeled with more than mortal energy4 ,my son dwelt on the merits of his patron with a degree of veneration and love that knew no bounds4 ,castaldo was ranked by the consenting voice of mankind with the most accomplished generals of the age in which he lived4 8,i knew him10 said ,charles1 8in his most private hours1 and stood next to and observed him in the greatest and most critical occasions of his life4 ,it was the least of his merits that he distinguished me1 that he took me up friendless and an orphan1 that under every circumstance he was more than a father to me2 that he corrected my faults1 that he guided me with his advice1 that he instructed me with his wisdom1 and supported me by his countenance4 ,castaldo was the most persevering and indefatigable of mankind2 no difficulties could undermine his apparent serenity2 no accumulation of dangers could appal or perplex him4 ,victory never robbed him of his caution2 misfortune and defeat never destroyed the grandeur and elasticity of his soul4 ,i firmly believe that no general had ever a more discouraging variety of counteractions to struggle with4 ,the enemy was barbarous and sanguinary1 yet firm and undismayed1 in the full vigour of their political health1 under the rule of the ablest of their sovereigns4 ,the nobles of the country ,castaldo had to defend had almost all of them been alienated1 one after another1 by the tricking and ill-judged politics of the house of ,austria4 ,the nation was ruined1 houseless and starving4 ,many of the officers who served under my general were the basest of poltroons2 but they were imposed upon him by his court2 he was compelled to place them in important trusts2 and1 even when in the most dastardly way they betrayed those trusts1 they were by some pitiful intrigue sheltered from his discipline and his justice4 ,the forces of ,castaldo were mutinous and ungovernable2 and he was almost constantly denied the funds requisite for their pay4 8,for two years the count of ,piadena struggled with these complicated difficulties4 ,when he had obtained a hard-earned advantage at one extremity of the kingdom1 he found it rendered useless by some treachery or incapacity in the other extremity1 which it was instantly necessary he should hasten to repair4 ,he quelled four alarming mutinies by his firmness1 his resources1 and the prudent combination of his calmness and severity4 ,in the midst of one of his most arduous situations he suddenly received intelligence that the states of ,hungary1 which were at that time assembled1 were debating whether they should enter into a treaty with ,solyman for the purpose of placing their country under the ,turkish sceptre4 ,he immediately flew to the place of council2 the decision in favour of ,solyman was drawn up and ready to be adopted2 but ,castaldo1 by his presence1 his authority1 and his eloquence1 recalled the states to their duty1 and prevented them from eternally staining the ,christian name4 ,surrounded with these difficulties1 opposed to an enemy many times more numerous than the forces he could bring against them1 and whose wants were all plentifully supplied1 ,castaldo by his single abilities kept the balance even1 or rather caused it to incline in favour of the ,christian scale4 ,but what10 added ,charles1 8avails the most consummate merit6 ,how may the most incessant and undaunted exertions be shadowed by the veil of obscurity6 ,the world judges by events2 success is necessary to procure the palm of fame4 ,after two years of such labours as ,i witnessed and glory to describe1 a mutiny broke out among the mercenary troops1 more formidable than any that preceded2 it was no longer even in the abilities of ,castaldo to quell4 #8,we honour and respect you1' said the mutineers1 #8but we will no more serve without pay3 we have been baffled two years2 we will march to the gates of ,vienna1 and demand from ,ferdinand1 our sovereign1 why we are thus denied the arrears that are due to us4' ,they chose leaders for this expedition among themselves4 ,the great ,castaldo1 whose peculiar talent it is to accommodate himself to events1 and never by any misfortune to be deprived of his invention and resources1 saw what it was that became him4 ,having in vain tried every method for retaining his troops in ,hungary1 he offered himself to lead them to ,vienna4 ,then was seen the true ascendancy of a noble mind4 ,goaded with want and distress1 they had been deaf to the remonstrances of their general when he sought to direct them against the enemy4 ,but1 when they saw him submitting himself to their rage and impatience1 and fearlessly intrusting his safety to those who had before refused even to listen to him1 and who had reason to fear his retribution as their accuser and judge1 they were awed and speechless4 ,they almost repented of their frenzy1 and were half determined to return to their duty4 ,their remorse indeed was imperfect and ineffectual2 but ,castaldo led this band of mutineers through the heart of the kingdom1 with as many symptoms of regularity1 modesty1 and order1 as if they had been the best paid1 the promptest and most loyal army in the world40 ,my son spoke in terms of the warmest enthusiasm of the defence of ,erlau1 in the period of ,castaldo's last and most arduous campaign against the ,turks4 ,in respect of fortifications the town was scarcely competent to resist the feeblest enemy2 but its deficiency in this point was supplied by the constancy and valour of its garrison and inhabitants4 ,the very women displayed an enterprise1 that the more vigorous sex have seldom exhibited4 ,in one instance1 a heroine of this sort was seen fighting in the presence of her mother and her husband4 ,her husband fell dead by her side4 8,let us1 my daughter10 said the mother1 8remove the body1 and devote the rest of our care to its honourable funeral40--8,may ,god10 returned the impassioned widow1 8never suffer the earth to cover my husband's corse1 till his death has been amply revenged2 this is the hour of battle1 not a time for funeral and for tears60 ,so speaking1 and seizing the sword and shield of the breathless champion1 she rushed upon the enemy2 nor did she quit the breach till1 by the slaughter of three ,turks who were ascending the scaling ladders1 she had appeased the fury in her breast1 and the ghost of her departed husband4 ,then raising the corpse1 and pressing it to her bosom1 she drew it to the great church of the city1 and paid to it the last honours with all possible magnificence4#i ,many other examples of a heroism not inferior to this were displayed on the same occasion4 8,and shall ,i10 added ,charles1 in a sally of glorious enthusiasm1 8ever desert a cause which has been thus honoured8 ,shall ,i betray a soil which has been immortalised by such illustrious actions8 ,shall ,i join myself to the renegado ,bethlem ,gabor1 and the execrable ,chatillon8 ,no3 such virtue as ,i have described never could have been conceived1 but in the bosom of truth6 ,great as is the pious devotion ,i feel for that ,god who died on the cross for the salvation of mankind1 ,i own my weakness1 if it be a weakness1 his cause is scarcely less endeared to me by the sublime exertions of his heroic followers1 than by his own adorable condescension and mercy4 8,when the glorious ,castaldo departed with his rebellious army for the metropolis of ,germany1 there was nothing ,i more earnestly desired than to accompany his march4 ,for seven years he had conferred on me the benefits1 and shown towards me the affection1 of a father2 and ,i could not think of being separated from him without the extremest anguish4 ,beside1 ,i regarded it as little less than sacrilege1 to quit his side at a time that he was exposed to the furious suggestions of a host of robbers and banditti4 ,but he would not allow me to abandon my post4 #8,some time1' said he1 #8we must separate1 and you must stand alone4 ,i have been long enough your instructor2 and1 if my lessons or my example can produce improvement in you1 they must have performed that office already4' ,he treated with disdain the thought of the danger to which he might be exposed1 and his need of a faithful guard2 a thought which he had detected in the midst of my anxieties1 but which ,i had not the courage to mention4 #8,this1' said he1 #8is your genuine sphere4 ,you are a young man1 burning with the zeal of truth and religion4 ,you are inspired with the enthusiasm of a champion and a martyr4 ,heaven knows how willingly ,i would have spent my blood for the overthrow of ,mahomet and his blasphemous impieties4 ,to me this is not permitted2 to you it is4 ,i shall be engaged in the painful scenes of civil contention between ,christian and ,christian1 misguided and inflamed by the human inventions of ,luther and of ,calvin4 ,you have before you a clearer and a brighter field2 and1 ,i confidently persuade myself1 you will be found worthy of your happier destiny4'--,the count of ,piadena bestowed me1 so he was pleased to express himself1 upon ,nadasti1 the great palatine of the realm1 as the most precious pledge of his friendship that it was in his power to confer4 8,since the retreat of ,castaldo1 the ,christian standard has obtained little more either of attention or aid from our lawful sovereign1 now the possessor of the imperial throne4 ,ferdinand for a great part of this time has had his negotiators at ,constantinople1 whom the insulting ,turk has condescended neither sincerely to treat with1 nor to dismiss4 ,the ,christian army in ,hungary has been left to its own resources2 but zeal has supplied the place of magazines1 and religious ardour has taught us to omit no occasion of annoying and distressing the enemy4 ,the most considerable occurrence of this period1 has been the siege of ,ziget about four years ago4 ,solyman1 taking advantage of certain factious broils among our hereditary nobility1 appointed at that time one of his eunuchs bashaw of ,buda2 and1 having placed a numerous army under his command1 dismissed him from the foot of his throne with this arrogant injunction1 not to enter the capital of his province1 till he had first sent the keys of ,ziget as an offering to his royal master4 ,horvati1 the ,christian governor of this fortification1 is one of the most accomplished and the bravest of our native commanders2 and1 ,nadasti having sent him a reinforcement the better to enable him to support the threatened siege1 ,i was in the number of the soldiers appointed on this service4 ,the trenches were opened early in ,june1 and the siege continued for the space of seven weeks4 ,the bashaw1 though an eunuch1 in person stunted1 and of monstrous deformity1 was distinguished for an uncommon degree of audacity and perseverance4 ,four times he filled the dikes of the fortification with wood and earth2 and as often1 by means of a furious sally of the besieged1 the materials1 which had thus with vast expense of industry and labour been accumulated1 were set fire to and consumed4 ,on the twelfth day of the siege he gained possession of the town1 and drove us back into the citadel2 but on the day following we recovered the ground we had lost1 and from that time the town was his no more4 ,the actions of these days were the severest of the whole siege2 we fought the enemy street by street1 and inch by inch2 the great fountain in the market-place ran with blood2 we ascended hills of the dead1 which the infidels opposed as a barrier to our further progress2 ,i seized two ,turkish standards2 and1 though wounded1 pursued the enemy through the eastern gate1 and returned in triumph4 ,nadasti in the sixth week of the siege marched to our relief2 but he was met and worsted by the bashaw1 who returned victorious to the foot of the walls4 ,during the whole of the siege mutual animosity was cherished by every species of contrivance1 and the heads of the distinguished dead were exhibited on both sides as spectacles of abhorrence and terror4 ,the inflamed passions of the combatants several times found a vent in listed duels3 ,horvati1 the governor1 killed in one of these encounters a gigantic ,turk1 who had sent a proud defiance to our host4 ,i procured myself honour upon a similar occasion2 and the scarf which ,i now wear1 composed the turban of the infidel ,i slew4 ,at length the disappointed bashaw was obliged to raise the siege2 and he soon after died of grief and mortification in his palace at ,buda4 ,i confess ,i recollect the ,christian exploits in the defence of ,ziget1 in which ,i also had a share1 with rapture and delight2 they will serve to awaken in me new animation1 when hereafter the coldness of ordinary life might strike palsy to my soul4 ,i shall never think ,i have lived in vain1 after having contributed1 in however humble a place1 to arrest the career of insolence and impiety which1 under the standard of the crescent1 threatened to over-run the whole ,christian world40 ,such were the adventures and such the sentiments of the gallant chevalier de ,damville4 ,i had been a warrior in my youth1 and the discourse he held was sufficiently congenial to my earliest propensities4 ,i saw indeed that he had gained1 in the zeal of a soldier of the cross1 a source of martial heroism1 to which my military history had been a stranger4 ,but1 though ,i could not entirely enter into this sentiment of his1 and indeed regarded it as an infatuation and delusion1 ,i did not the less admire the grandeur of soul with which this heroic fable inspired him4 ,there was no present propensity in my heart that led me to delight in deeds of blood and war2 ,i saw them in their genuine colours without varnish or disguise2 ,i hated and loathed them from my very inmost soul2 but1 notwithstanding this1 ,i was sensible to the lustre which military zeal cast round the character of my son4 ,nor is this incredible or absurd2 the qualities of a generous and enterprising champion are truly admirable1 though the direction they have received should be worthy of eternal regret4 ,charles de ,damville was my friend2 and1 when ,i say this1 ,i cannot help stopping a moment for the indulgence of reflecting on the contrast between my present intercourse with my son1 and my late connection with ,bethlem ,gabor4 ,i had sought the friendship of the ,hungarian partisan1 partly because ,i wanted a protector and an ally1 but partly also because in my soul ,i looked up to and admired the man4 ,i called ,bethlem ,gabor my friend2 ,i persuaded myself that ,i had cogent reasons for calling him so4 ,but there was little sympathy between us2 he was wrapped up in his own contemplations2 he was withered by his own calamities2 our souls scarcely touched in a single point4 ,no1 no2 this is not friendship4 ,friendship is a necessity of our nature1 the stimulating and restless want of every susceptible heart4 ,how wretched an imposture in this point of view does human life for the most part appear6 ,with boyish eyes1 full of sanguine spirits and hope1 we look round us for a friend2 we sink into the grave1 broken down with years and infirmities1 and still have not found the object of our search4 ,we talk to one man1 and he does not understand us2 we address ourselves to another1 and we find him the unreal similitude only of what we believed him to be4 ,we ally ourselves to a man of intellect and of worth2 upon further experience we cannot deny him either of these qualities2 but the more we know each other1 the less we find of resemblance2 he is cold1 where we are warm2 he is harsh1 where we are melted into the tenderest sympathy2 what fills us with rapture1 is regarded by him with indifference2 we finish with a distant respect1 where we looked for a commingling soul3 this is not friendship4 ,we know of other men1 we have viewed their countenances1 we have occasionally sat in their society3 we believe it is impossible we should not find in them the object we sought4 ,but disparity of situation and dissimilitude of connections prove as effectual a barrier to intimacy1 as if we were inhabitants of different planets4 ,it is one of the most striking characteristics of the nature of man1 that we are eternally apt to grow dead and insensible to the thing we have not4 ,half our faculties become palsied1 before we are in the slightest degree aware that we are not what we were1 and what we might be4 ,there are philosophers who regard this as the peculiar privilege of man1 a wise provision of ,providence to render us contented and easy with our lot in existence4 ,for my part1 ,i do not envy1 and ,i have never aspired to1 the happiness of ignorance and stupidity4 ,but1 be it a blessing or a curse1 the phenomenon is undoubted4 ,present me with some inestimable benefit1 that my nature fitted me to enjoy1 but that my fortune has long denied me to partake1 and ,i instantly rise as from an oppressive lethargy4 ,before1 it may be1 ,i felt myself uneasy2 but ,i knew of no remedy1 ,i dreamed it was my nature1 ,i did not put forth a finger for relief4 ,but now1 that ,i have drawn the unexpected prize1 ,i grow astonished at my former blindness2 ,i become suddenly sensible of my powers and my worth2 the blood that slept in my heart1 circulates1 and distends every vein2 ,i tread on air2 ,i feel a calm1 yet ravishing delight2 ,i know what kind of an endowment life is1 to a being in whom sentiment and affection are awakened to their genuine action4 ,this was the effect of the mutual attachment produced between me and ,charles4 ,i looked into him1 and saw a man2 ,i saw expansive powers of intellect and true sensibility of heart4 ,to be esteemed and loved and protected by such a man2 to have him to take one by the hand1 to enquire into one's sorrows1 to interest himself in one's anxieties1 to exult in one's good fortune and one's joys2 this and this only deserves the name of existence4 ,i had however a painful drawback upon my satisfaction4 ,it was my fate since the visit of the stranger of the lake of ,constance1 to rejoice for moments and to lament for years4 ,i could not at first ascend to that purity and eminence of friendship to forget myself2 ,i could not but painfully feel the contrast between me and my son4 ,how happy was ,charles1 how respectable1 how self-approving1 how cheerful of heart3 ,i shall presently have occasion to speak of a still further addition to his happiness6 ,i looked indeed young1 fair1 blooming1 a stranger to care3 but ,i had a secret worm gnawing at my vitals4 ,this very deceitfulness of my countenance was a bitter aggravation to my remorse4 ,i never saw my features reflected in the polished shield without feeling myself struck to the core4 ,charles had walked right onward in the paths of honour2 he feared no detection2 he had no secret consciousness that gave the lie to the voice of applause1 partiality1 and friendship4 ,but ,i was all a lie2 ,i was no youth2 ,i was no man2 ,i was no member of the great community of my species4 ,the past and the future were equally a burthen to my thoughts4 ,to the eye that saw me ,i was a youth flushed with hope1 and panting for existence4 ,in my soul ,i knew1 and ,i only knew1 that ,i was a worn out veteran1 battered with the storms of life1 having tried every thing and rejected every thing1 and discarded for ever by hope and joy4 ,when ,i walked forth leaning on the arm of him who delighted to call me his younger brother1 this was the consciousness that hunted my steps and blasted me with its aspect whichever way we turned4 ,,chapter ,,xlv4 ,among the various confidences reposed in me by my son1 one was his love4 ,the object of his attachment was a young lady of quality1 named ,pandora1 niece to ,nadasti1 great palatine of ,hungary4 ,in consequence of the earnest recommendation of ,castaldo in #aeec1 ,nadasti had taken my son under his particular protection1 and ,charles's principal home at the periods when the army was dispersed in winter-quarters was at the palatine's house in the city of ,presburg4 ,here his manners had become more polished1 and his taste more refined4 ,till then1 bred in tents1 and living amidst the clangour of arms1 he had been a mere soldier1 rough1 generous1 manly1 and brave4 ,but ,nadasti was an elegant scholar1 smitten with that ardent love of classical and ancient lore which has so eminently distinguished the sixteenth century4 ,he assembled round him men of letters from various parts of ,europe2 and1 under his auspices1 the days of ,matthias ,corvinus1 king of ,hungary1 seemed to be revived1 whose love of literature was such1 that he kept three hundred transcribers in his house1 constantly employed in multiplying copies of the precious relics of ,roman and ,athenian learning4 ,the consort of ,nadasti was one of the most accomplished matrons of the age in which she lived1 and her three daughters were patterns of every polite and amiable accomplishment4 ,such was the school into which the chevalier de ,damville entered at the age of twenty-five1 immediately after the retreat of ,castaldo4 ,this may seem an age somewhat late for new-modelling the character1 but ,charles had an enterprising and aspiring temper2 and he soon became a distinguished ornament of courts and the society of ladies4 ,castaldo had taught him all he knew1 the temper1 the manners1 and the science of a military chieftain3 the palace of ,nadasti finished and completed the education of my son4 ,pandora was only fourteen years of age when ,charles de ,damville first became a sort of inmate of the house of her uncle4 ,she at that time lived with her father2 but he being afterwards killed in the battle which ,nadasti fought for the relief of ,ziget1 ,pandora occupied an apartment in the palatine palace4 ,from the first hour he saw her1 a mere child as it were1 accompanied by her governess1 ,charles confessed to me that he had beheld her with eyes of distinction4 ,he had said to himself1 ,this little girl will hereafter be a jewel worthy of the crown of an emperor4 ,he had found something inexpressibly attractive in the starry brightness of her complexion2 her air he regarded as both lighter and more graceful than any thing he had ever before seen2 and her speaking and humid eye seemed to him the very emblem of sensibility and sweetness4 ,if1 at the girlish and immature season of fourteen1 he had ascribed to her all these perfections1 it will easily be supposed that1 as she increased in stature as the beauties of form unfolded themselves in her1 and she advanced in sentiment and a lovely consciousness of her worth1 the partiality of ,charles became more deep and unalterable4 ,but the orphan niece of ,nadasti was altogether without a portion2 and the great palatine would have seen with more complacency the chevalier de ,damville addressing his pretensions to one of his daughters4 ,charles confessed to me that the passion he nourished had been fruitful of pleasures and griefs1 of hope and perplexity4 ,it was now almost a year since ,pandora and himself had confessed a mutual affection4 ,the confession had not been the result of design on either side3 both had wished to suppress it2 ,pandora from virgin dignity and reserve2 and ,charles1 because he saw not how their affection could be crowned with success1 and he dreaded1 more than any misery to himself1 to be the author of degradation and misery to her he loved4 ,but what is ever uppermost in the heart will at some time or other betray itself4 ,their sympathetic and accordant feelings upon a point so deeply interesting to both1 rendered them eagle-eyed to discern the smallest indications4 ,they had had a thousand opportunities1 and a thousand opportunities had been resisted4 ,they became more than usually silent and reserved towards each other2 they shunned to meet1 and1 when they met1 avoided each other's eyes4 ,one day a casual encounter in a solitary retreat1 which each had sought principally with intention to escape the presence of the other1 had taken them off their guard4 ,they were mutually hesitating and perplexed2 each discerned more unequivocal indications than had ever occurred before of the state of the other's sentiments2 the entire accord snapped as it were at once the chains of reserve2 and each1 after a short interval of hesitation1 spoke with an eloquence1 hitherto untried1 the language of love4 ,the difference of years between them gave a zest to the communication4 ,pandora seemed to be throwing herself upon the protection of an elder brother1 of a guardian1 one in whose prudence she confided as the antidote of her inexperience2 ,charles felt his maturer years as imposing on him more severely that sacred integrity1 the obligation of which1 at least as society is at present constituted1 seems in the majority of cases to grow out of the relative situation of the sexes1 of the protectorship of the one1 and the dependence of the other4 8,and now10 exclaimed ,charles1 8what am ,i to do8 what am ,i to desire8 ,it would be affectation in me to conceal from myself on an occasion like this1 that the reputation ,i have acquired both in the arts of peace and war is such1 as to have caused ,nadasti to set his heart upon my becoming his son-in-law4 ,the great palatine1 though in many respects generous and liberal1 has that inflexibleness of opinion1 which is perhaps more apt to grow up in the hearts of scholars1 than in other departments of society4 ,he is grave and solemn2 all his habits are of a majestic and lordly nature2 and ,i have small reason to hope that ,i shall find him accessible to my representations4 ,he is little subject to sallies of passion2 his own propensities are wholly under the control of his judgment2 and it is not likely that he will make allowance for the ardent affections of other minds4 ,pandora is entirely dependent on him2 in any case the portion she would receive from him would be very inadequate to her worth2 but1 discarded and discountenanced by him who has the absolute rule of ,christian ,hungary1 what can she expect8 ,i am myself destitute of fortune2 my provision as a soldier will be very inadequate to the wants of the first and softest of her sex4 ,but even of that provision ,nadasti will deprive me1 if ,i marry in opposition to his pleasure4 ,shall ,i make ,pandora the inhabitant of tents and encampments2 shall ,i expose her to all the changes and hazards of a military life2 shall ,i drag her as the attendant of a soldier of fortune through every climate of ,europe8 ,no1 by heavens6 ,i should regard myself as the most selfish and the basest of mankind1 if ,i could deliberate on such a question4 ,never shall the charmer of my soul owe a single privation to her ,charles4 ,i love her with so pure and entire a passion1 that ,i prefer her prosperity to every earthly good4 ,nor is it merely necessary to my attachment that she should live in plenty and ease2 ,i require that my ,pandora should be seen in her native lustre1 that she should be surrounded with every appendage due to her merit1 that she should command applause from the mercenary1 and homage from the superficial4 ,her praise is the only music ,i enjoy4 ,i could not bear to hear her name coupled with levity and scorn4 ,i could not bear that1 where she appeared1 every eye should not be turned to her with reverence and honour4 ,my passion1 ,i confess it1 is that of a disciple of liberal arts and a nobleman1 not that of an ,arcadian40 ,the period of the campaign now drew to an end1 and ,charles1 having requested me to accompany him1 set out for his usual winter retreat in the city of ,presburg4 ,i saw ,pandora4 ,never in my life had ,i beheld any thing so sweetly simple4 ,i had always been an admirer of the sex2 but the perfections of ,pandora were of a nature that ,i had not observed in any other woman4 ,her symmetry was so perfect1 the pearly lustre of her skin so admirable1 and her form and carriage so light and ethereal1 that at first view it was difficult to persuade one's self that she was framed of the same gross materials as the rest of the species4 ,she seemed not constructed to endure the shocks of the world1 and the rude assaults of ill humour or neglect1 of censure or adversity4 ,her voice was of the sweetest1 the clearest and softest tone ,i ever heard4 ,there was a peculiar navet in her accents1 that riveted your soul in irresistible fetters4 ,her conversation1 for in the sequel ,i enjoyed much of her conversation1 had a very uncommon zest4 ,she seemed to have no art1 and what she uttered appeared as if wholly unchecked by consideration or reserve4 ,you were persuaded that she always delivered without restraint the first thing that occurred to her mind2 yet in what she said there was so much good sense1 so much true feeling1 and1 as the occasion allowed1 so much whim and imagination1 that you could not discover how any of her words could be changed but for a worse4 ,this circumstance strikingly contrasted with the childish simplicity1 or rather the feminine softness and sylph-like delicacy1 of her manner and her tone4 ,the opposition of appearance between her and my son made a strong impression upon me4 ,he was a perfect soldier1 with an ample chest1 broad shoulders1 and a figure1 though graceful and well proportioned1 yet so strong1 that it seemed framed to contend with and to conquer the wrestlers in the ,grecian games4 ,his complexion1 shaded with luxuriant curls of manly hair1 was itself made brown with the rigours of climate4 ,pandora was so heavenly fair1 so sweetly delicate and slender1 that you would have thought she would be withered and destroyed in his embrace1 like the frailest ornament of the garden before the northern breeze4 ,but courage to choose what is rugged and manlike is often characteristic of the softest of her sex4 ,i speedily contracted an intimate commerce with the beautiful ,pandora4 ,i was naturally desirous to be as consummate a judge as possible of those perfections1 which ,i believed fated to determine the future happiness of my son4 ,when sufficiently satisfied in that respect1 ,i still continued the indulgence1 and found a pure and exquisite pleasure in the daily contemplation of accomplishments that were to prove the materials of his gratification and delight1 whose gratification ,i preferred to my own4 ,i had a still further view in this commerce4 ,i was anxious to be perfectly informed of the connections and family of ,pandora1 that upon them ,i might build a project ,i had deeply at heart1 of bestowing on her1 in the least questionable and exceptionable manner1 a dowry1 that should place her upon an equality with her cousins1 the daughters of ,nadasti1 and deliver my son from all apprehension of the unpleasing consequences to result from the resentment of the great palatine4 ,nadasti was opulent1 and the portions of his daughters very considerable2 and1 however inclined1 ,i could not exceed this limit without risking the entire miscarriage of my project4 ,charles thought nothing too rich either in situation or income to do honour to the mistress of his soul2 but1 separately from this enthusiastic sentiment1 both he and ,pandora had too just a taste1 not to prefer the simple majesty of ancient nobility1 to the expensive ostentations of modern refinement4 ,having digested my plan ,i was obliged to travel as far as ,venice for the execution of it4 ,the mother of ,pandora had been a ,venetian1 and the uncle of her mother was one of the adventurers who had sailed with ,pizarro for the conquest of ,peru4 ,he had died before the completion of that business1 and had left behind him no relative so near to him in blood as the lovely ,pandora4 ,by a singular piece of good fortune1 ,i encountered at ,venice an individual who had sailed in the same ship with the young lady's uncle4 ,the uncle having died prematurely1 the share he might otherwise have obtained of the spoils of ,peru was sunk in the shares of the rest1 and nothing was allowed to remain that might have descended to his heirs4 ,his friend and countryman ,i found1 though once rich with the booty he made1 had by a series of calamities1 before he reached his native home1 been reduced to a state of poverty4 ,the vicissitudes he experienced1 had produced in him the effect of a very uncommon eagerness for acquisition4 ,this man ,i fixed on for my instrument2 ,i opened to him my plan1 and offered him a very ample gratification1 provided he acted successfully the part ,i assigned him4 ,in concert with each other we digested and forged the various documents that were best calculated to give credibility to the tale4 ,having completed our arrangement1 ,i set out for ,presburg without a moment's delay1 and directed my ,venetian not to follow till after a stipulated interval4 ,he was not to enter into full possession of his reward till he had completed the task he had undertaken4 ,it was fixed that no person in ,hungary should be acquainted with my visit to ,venice1 but only be allowed to understand generally1 that ,i had been engaged for a certain time in an excursion of amusement4 ,so hard is the fate of the possessor of the philosopher's stone1 and so limited his power1 as to have rendered all these precautions on my part indispensably necessary4 ,had not the various circumstances concurred1 the detail of which is here stated1 the birth of ,pandora's mother in a maritime state1 the expedition of ,pizarro to ,peru1 her uncle's engaging in this expedition and dying before it was completed1 and my own casual rencounter with his compagnon du voyage1 my project would too probably have been baffled4 ,a direct gift of the fortune ,i designed would never have been admitted of2 and1 had not the coincidence been eminently favourable1 even though ,i should have succeeded in misleading every other party1 ,i could not hope to have eluded the perspicacity and jealous honour of my son4 ,when ,i returned to ,presburg1 ,i again renewed my intercourse with ,pandora4 ,the passion entertained by ,damville for the beautiful orphan was a secret to every person at court2 they had managed so discreetly as to have avoided every hint of suspicion2 and1 as it was universally known that the great palatine had an eye on this gallant soldier for one of his daughters1 few persons entertained a doubt that my son would speedily declare his election among the co-heiresses of ,nadasti4 ,on the other hand1 in the friendly intercourse between me and ,pandora1 neither she nor myself felt that there was any thing to conceal1 and it was therefore a matter of complete notoriety4 ,my blooming youth of appearance was remarked2 by the majority of bystanders we were judged formed for each other2 and1 before ,i was aware1 the beautiful ,hungarian was awarded to me by the general voice as my destined bride4 ,when however ,i became acquainted with the rumour1 ,i was contented to smile at it2 the consciousness in my own breast how far the public sagacity had wandered in its guess1 gave to that guess1 in my apprehension1 a certain air of whimsical and amusing4 ,,chapter ,,xlvi4 ,such was the situation of the affair of ,pandora1 and ,i daily looked for the arrival of my ,venetian confederate1 when suddenly ,i remarked an alteration in the carriage of my beautiful ally4 ,she had hitherto1 on all occasions1 sought my conversation2 she now appeared sedulously to avoid me4 ,her manner had been characterised by the gaiety1 the sprightliness and general good humour1 incident to her age1 and congenial to her disposition4 ,she was now melancholy4 ,her melancholy assumed a tone correspondent to the habits of her mind1 and was peculiar and individual4 ,it had an ingenuous and defenceless air1 inexpressibly calculated to excite interest4 ,it seemed to ask1 what have ,i done to deserve to be melancholy8 ,you felt for her1 as for a spotless lily depressed by the unpitying storm4 ,you saw1 that those enchanting features were never made for a face of sorrow1 and that that bewitching voice ought never to have been modulated into an expression of heaviness4 ,i was in the highest degree anxious to learn the cause of this revolution1 and was the farthest in the world from suspecting its real foundation4 ,i pursued ,pandora with so much importunity1 and demanded an interview with such irresistible earnestness1 that she at length consented to grant it4 ,we met in a remote part of the garden4 8,why1 ,henry10 said she1 8do you thus persecute me8 ,you are my evil genius1 the cause of the greatest calamity that could ever have overtaken me40 ,i started4 8,for heaven's sake1 beautiful ,pandora1 what do you mean80 8,i love the chevalier de ,damville4 ,i have loved him long2 he is dearer to me than life2 and he has cast me off for ever60 8,and am ,i the cause80 8,yes1 you1 and you alone4 ,i had for some time observed a change in his behaviour1 that he was uncommonly grave1 serious1 and reserved4 ,i endeavoured to soothe him2 ,i redoubled my blandishments in our next season of unreserved discourse2 ,i tenderly enquired into the source of his grief4 8,for a long time he resisted my importunity4 ,at length1 #8,faithless girl1' said he1 #8have you the cruelty to ask the meaning of my depression8 ,this is the extremity of insult4 ,is it not enough that ,i know your inconstancy8 ,is it not enough that ,i have found you1 like the rest of your frivolous sex1 the mere slave of your sense of sight1 regardless of vows1 regardless of an affection which despised all interests but that of tenderness and love1 caught by the first appearance of something younger1 softer1 and more courtly1 than ,i pretend or desire to be8 ,will nothing satisfy you but the confession of my unhappiness from my own mouth8 ,do you require expostulation1 intreaty1 and despair1 from your discarded lover1 to fill up the measure of your triumph8' 8,for a long time ,i was totally at a loss to apprehend my dear chevalier's meaning4 8#8,no1' continued he1 #8,i am not jealous4 ,there is no temper ,i hold in such sovereign contempt as jealousy4 ,i am not of a disposition easily to conceive umbrage1 or lightly to doubt the protestations of the woman ,i adore4 ,i have been blind too long4 ,but ,i see that you are eternally together4 ,i see that you take advantage of the distance at which the despotic temper of ,nadasti keeps us from each other1 to give all your time to my favoured rival4 ,you seem never to be happy out of his society4 ,i was first led to throw off the dulness of my unsuspecting security1 by the general voice of the public4 ,the whole court gives you to each other4 ,not a creature it holds1 but has discerned that passion1 which you have the insolence to expect to conceal from me4 ,since ,i have been awakened from my security1 ,i have seen it a thousand times4 ,i have seen your eyes seek and encounter each other4 ,i have seen them suddenly lighted up by your interchanging glances4 ,i have seen the signs of your mutual intelligence4 ,i have seen with what impatience1 the moment you could escape from the crowded circle1 you have joined each other1 and retired together4 ,ungenerous ,pandora6 8#8,but do not imagine ,i will enter the lists with the gaudy butterfly who has now attracted your favour4 ,i have told you already that ,i am not formed for jealousy4 ,i am not the sort of man you have supposed me to be4 ,i have loved you much2 ,i have loved you long4 ,but ,i would tear out my heart from my manly breast1 if ,i believed it yet retained an atom of passion for you4 ,i know what it was ,i loved2 ,i loved a character of frankness1 of ingenuousness1 of simplicity1 which ,i fondly imagined was yours1 but which ,i now find was the creature of my own fancy4 ,the ,pandora that stands before me2 the child of art2 the base wretch that could take advantage of my forbearance in regard to her uncle1 which was adopted purely out of love to her2 the unfeeling coquette that would wish to retain me in her chains when she had discarded me from her affections2 this creature ,i never did love1 and ,i never will4 ,i know how deeply rooted the habit has been in my bosom of regarding you as the thing you are not2 ,i know how bitter it is to a temper like mine to detect so unlooked-for a delusion2 ,i know what it will cost me to cast you off for ever4 ,but ,i never yet proposed to myself a conquest over my own weakness that ,i did not gain1 nor will ,i now4 ,if you were to discard this wretched ,d',aubigny to-morrow1 if you were convinced of and contrite for your error1 ,i must ingenuously tell you1 no time1 no penitence could restore you to my admiration4 ,i had set up an imaginary idol in my bosom2 but you have convinced me of its brittleness1 and dashed it to pieces4' 8,i endeavoured10 continued ,pandora1 8by every imaginable protestation to convince my late faithful lover of his mistake4 ,but it was to no purpose2 all ,i could say only tended to swell the tide of his fearful resentment40 8#8,be silent1' cried he3 #8add no further to the catalogue of your wanton and causeless delusions4 ,do not make me hate too much what ,i once so blindly and ardently adored4 ,i feel that ,i have an enemy within me1 that would fain co-operate with your deceptions and hypocrisy4 ,i find that man1 treacherous to himself1 is formed by nature to be the fool of your artful sex4 ,but ,i will subdue this propensity in me1 though ,i die for it4 ,i may be wretched2 but ,i will not despise myself4 ,have ,i not seen your falsehood8 ,have not all my senses been witnesses of your guilt8 ,the miracle is that ,i could have been duped so long4 ,i have heard this stripling lover of yours inexhaustible in your praises1 and dwelling upon them with an ardour that nothing but passion could have inspired4 ,i have seen1 as ,i have already told you1 the intelligence of your eyes4 ,i have seen those melting glances1 ,i have heard those tender and familiar tones between you1 that bespoke the most perfect confidence and the most entire mingling of heart4 ,if ,i did not believe this1 ,i should believe worse of you4 ,i should think your heart not merely capricious1 but an absolute prostitute2 prepared to bestow upon hundreds those sweet1 those nameless tendernesses of accent and countenance1 which ,i fondly imagined were reserved for me alone4 ,i should regard you as the worst and most pernicious acquisition that could fall to the lot of a man4 #8,go1 ,pandora1' added he3 #8my heart is chaste2 my soul is firm4 ,i can no longer be deceived by you2 ,i will not dispute your charms with the idle boy you have now thought proper to favour4' ,and1 saying thus1 he burst from me in an agony of impatience4 8,alas60 continued the sweet and ingenuous ,pandora1 8my dear ,henry1 what shall ,i do8 ,how shall ,i remove the unreasonable imaginations of this noble mind8 ,bear me witness1 ,heaven6 nothing could be more innocent than the correspondence ,i allowed myself to hold with you4 ,my adorable ,charles was continually calling you brother2 ,i scarcely ever heard him speak of you by any other appellation4 ,i regarded ,charles as my husband2 ,i already viewed you in anticipation as the brother of my lord4 ,excluded as ,i was from frequent conversation with him whom ,i most loved1 ,i endeavoured to supply the deficiency by an unreserved communication with you4 ,the extreme resemblance of your persons increased my gratification4 ,you were his picture1 his speaking image4 ,while ,i looked at you1 ,i said1 #8,such once was my ,charles1 before he was the great man1 the gallant soldier1 the accomplished cavalier1 the adored object1 that now engrosses my affections4' ,beside1 ,i knew that ,charles loved you as much as he did any man on earth1 and that knowledge made you dear to me4 ,you were constantly eager to dwell upon and describe his excellences2 could ,i fail to be pleased with your conversation8 ,i own that the pleasure ,i took in it was unbounded1 and the emotions it awakened in my affectionate heart delicious4 ,but all this1 candidly explained1 was only an additional proof of the tenderness and constancy of my earliest attachment4 8,and now1 ever since the fatal day in which this conversation passed with my ,charles1 he is absent from court1 and ,i know not whither he is gone4 ,he has disdained to seek any further explanation1 nor do ,i know how to appeal to his calmer feelings and more deliberate mind4 ,one thing however ,i had determined on1 and that was1 ,henry1 strictly to avoid your society4 8,i trust1 wherever my ,charles is1 he will hear of this4 ,i owe this expiation to his agonised feelings1 and to the appearances that in some degree justify his misconstruction4 ,i will wait patiently1 till the simplicity and singleness of my conduct have cleared my faith4 ,if ,i should otherwise have found pleasure and relief in your society1 ,i will make a merit with myself of sacrificing this to the apprehensive delicacy of my ,charles's mind4 ,in this single instance your importunity has prevailed with me to dispense with my rule3 you were not to blame1 and ,i thought upon more mature reflection that ,i owed you an explanation4 ,but henceforth1 if you have any kindness for me1 or value for him who has acted and felt towards you like a brother1 ,i must entreat you to co-operate with me in this1 and that1 whether in public or private1 we may bestow no notice on each other1 and avoid all opportunities of communication4 ,to persuade you to this1 was indeed a principal inducement with me so far to deviate from the rule ,i had laid down to myself1 as to admit this conversation40 ,i was extremely affected with the unhappiness of ,pandora4 ,i exerted myself to console her4 ,i promised that nothing on my part should be wanting to remove every shadow of doubt that hung upon her fidelity1 and ,i exhorted her to believe that every thing would infallibly terminate in the way most honourable and gratifying to herself4 ,pandora listened to me1 and dried her tears4 ,the conversation was interesting and soothing to us both2 we regarded it as the last unreserved and sympathetic communication we should ever have with each other2 it insensibly grew longer and longer1 and we knew not how to put an end to it4 ,we were still in this state of irresolution when1 looking up1 ,i perceived ,charles de ,damville approaching from the further end of the walk that led to the alcove4 ,i would have withdrawn4 ,i was anxious to remove the unjust suspicion that hung upon his mind2 but the instant that presented to him so strong an apparent confirmation of them1 the instant that by so doing must have worked up his soul into tumult1 did not appear a favourable one for explanation4 ,to withdraw was impossible4 ,pandora had discerned her lover at the same moment with myself4 ,she was seized with a faintness4 ,she would have sunk to the ground2 but ,i caught her in my arms4 ,i rested with one knee on the earth2 her head was reclined on my bosom4 ,charles approached with a quicker pace4 8,rise10 said he4 8,this is beyond my hopes4 ,i left ,presburg with the purpose of not revisiting it for years2 but1 as ,i proceeded further and further from a place which had lately been the centre of my affections1 ,i began to doubt whether ,i had not acted with precipitation1 and to believe that there was yet some uncertainty hanging on my fate4 ,the seemingly earnest protestations of this delusive syren rung in my ears2 mechanically1 without any formed resolution1 ,i changed my course1 and returned on my steps4 ,my doubts are now at an end4 ,i find you taking instant advantage of my absence to throw yourselves into each other's arms4 ,the feelings ,i so lately uttered in your presence1 ,pandora1 would have kept you apart1 if my feelings had been in the least sacred in your eyes1 if all my surmises had not been too true40--,he took by the hand the weeping ,pandora1 and led her to the seat which a little before she had quitted4 8,why all this artifice8 ,why all this deceit8 ,it is said that we are not masters of our own hearts1 and that no human passion is formed to endure for ever4 ,influenced by these maxims1 ,i could have pardoned your inconstancy1 too fair1 too fickle ,pandora6 but why strain every nerve1 to make me believe you still retained a passion you had discarded1 to subject me to the lingering torture of deceit1 instead of communicating to me a truth1 agonising indeed to human frailty1 but calculated to inspire fortitude and decision8 ,this ,i cannot excuse3 this racks me with the bitterest of disappointments1 disappointment in the virtues ,i had ascribed to you2 and convinces me1 that you are neither worthy of me1 nor worthy of happiness4 8,and you too1 ,d',aubigny1 you have acted a part in this unworthy plot1 ,i rescued you from prison1 from a dungeon from which1 a few hours before1 you had no hope of coming forth alive4 ,i took you under my protection1 when you had no friend2 ,i placed you next myself2 ,i conceived for you the affection of a brother2 ,i loved you1 next in degree to the mistress of my soul4 ,in return for all that ,i have done1 and all that ,i felt for you1 you have with insidious heart and every base disguise1 seduced from me the woman of my choice4 ,why not frankly and ingenuously have demanded her at my hands8 ,the heart is free2 your reciprocal passion1 though ,i might have regretted it1 ,i should have been unable to blame2 it is the cloak that you have drawn over it1 that proves the baseness of its origin4 ,do you think ,i had not the courage cheerfully and without a murmur to resign to you this illustrious fair one8 ,i feel that ,i was worthy to be openly treated4 ,had ,i seen in you a mutual and ingenuous passion1 ,i would not have been the bar to its just consummation4 ,i would not have sought the person of a woman1 whose heart1 in spite perhaps of her better resolutions1 was given to another4 ,i should loathe myself for ever1 were ,i capable of such a part4 ,it was the sympathetic sentiment towards me1 beating in accord to the sentiment of my own bosom1 that ,i once saw in ,pandora1 and not either her peerless beauties1 or the excellences ,i imputed to her mind1 that formed the master-charm which fascinated my soul4 ,i feel that ,i had the force1 in the negation of my own happiness1 to have drawn comfort and compensation from the happiness of two creatures ,i so dearly loved1 as ,d',aubigny and ,pandora4 8,but this alleviation in the midst of what you have condemned me to suffer1 you have ungenerously denied me40---- ,i sought to interrupt my son4 ,i could no longer bear to see him involved in so painful an error1 and not exert every nerve to rescue him from it4 ,but his passions were wrought higher than mine3 he would not suffer me to speak4 8,be silent1 ,d',aubigny6 ,i cannot brook to be interrupted now4 ,my heart is full2 and ,i must have leave to utter the sentiments that agitate and distend it40 ,he advanced towards ,pandora4 ,he took hold of her hand4 8,rise1 madam4 ,i shall not long trouble you with the boisterous impetuousness of my passions4 ,do not resist me now60 ,she rose1 and followed him2 her face still covered with her handkerchief1 and drowned in tears4 ,he led her to the front of the alcove3 he motioned me to approach2 with his other hand he took hold of mine4 ,he seemed to lift ,pandora's hand to his lips1 as if to kiss it2 with a sudden start he put it down again2 he held it below the level of his breast4 ,during this scene1 ,pandora and myself were speechless4 ,most women1 in the situation of ,pandora1 would1 ,i suppose1 have spoken1 and have been eager to vindicate themselves from so groundless an imputation4 ,but what she did was peculiar to the delicacy and defencelessness of her personal character4 ,she was overwhelmed1 and incapable of effort4 ,for my own part1 my feelings were uncommonly complicated4 ,my apparent situation was a plain one1 the situation of a youth mistaken by his friend for the seducer of the mistress of that friend2 and had my feelings been merely relative to this situation1 ,i could undoubtedly have spoken without embarrassment4 ,but with this were involved the sentiments originating in my secret character1 the sentiments of a man anxious to benefit1 and who had devoted himself to the interests of another2 of a father tremblingly alive to the happiness of his son1 and eager to dive into his soul1 that he might the more sensibly admire his virtues1 and with a more enlightened skill secure his fortune4 ,i was silent3 ,charles de ,damville proceeded3-- 8,thus10 said he1 8,i join your hands2 thus ,i withdraw all my claims upon ,pandora2 thus ,i remove every impediment to your wishes4 ,this1 ,pandora1--this1 ,d',aubigny1 ,i was capable of1 if you had treated me honourably1 and avowed an honest passion4 ,you do not know ,charles de ,damville4 ,you have treated me1 as none but the most groveling soul could deserve to be treated4 ,had you been ingenuous1 ,i should have a consolation in what ,i am doing1 that now ,i cannot have4 ,i can no longer persuade myself that ,i am joining two worthy hearts to each other4 ,i can no longer relieve the bitterness of my own disappointment1 by the image of your future felicity4 ,may ,i be mistaken6 ,may you be truly happy in each other6 ,you cannot be happy beyond the wishes formed in your favour1 by him who will remember1 to the latest hour of his existence1 how much his heart was devoted to you both40 ,saying this1 he burst away from us abruptly1 and disappeared4 ,at first1 as ,i listened to the heroic language of my son1 ,i asked myself whether it were the expression of a warm heart or a cold one4 ,it costs nothing to a cold heart to ape the language of heroism1 and to pretend to make the greatest sacrifices1 when its constitution has rendered all effort unnecessary to the feat4 ,but ,i looked in the face of ,charles1 and forgot my doubts4 ,his voice he had indeed wound up to the tone of his speech2 it was a little tremulous1 but in the main firm1 serious1 deliberate1 and elevated4 ,but his countenance was the picture of distress4 ,there sat enthroned1 defying all banishment and disguise1 the anguish of his soul4 ,his eye was haggard2 his complexion was colourless and wan4 ,he had been absent several days from ,presburg2 his appearance told me that he could scarcely either have eaten or slept during the period of his absence4 ,he might talk of the generosity with which he could resign ,pandora2 ,i read in his face what that resignation had cost1 and would go on to cost him4 ,ingenuous1 noble-hearted ,charles6 ,i doubted whether1 but for a reverse of the events he apprehended1 he would be able to survive it4 ,he had no sooner left us1 than ,i applied myself to comfort ,pandora4 ,i swore to her that1 in spite of every temporary cloud1 ,i would yet witness the union of her and her adored chevalier4 ,i assured her that ,i would not rest1 till ,i had forced ,damville to hear me1 and compelled him to credit the sincerity of my tale4 ,how many things were there1 that1 in the scene which had just passed1 ,i might have urged in answer to ,damville1 but respecting which my situation imposed upon me the most rigorous silence6 ,i might have said1 8,you call yourself my protector1 my benefactor1 my patron2 the real relation between us is the reverse of the picture you have drawn4 ,i want not your protection2 ,i am qualified1 if ,i please1 to be a patron to all the world4 ,i am meditating the most generous things in your behalf3 this perfidious friend1 as you deem him1 has devoted all his thoughts1 and postponed all his gratifications1 that he might prove himself substantially and in the most important particulars your friend40 ,more than this ,i might have said4 ,i might have said1 8,i am your father4 ,i have no inclinations1 no passions contravening your gratification4 ,i love you with more than a father's love2 ,i transfer to you all the affection ,i entertained for your peerless1 murdered mother6 ,all my study is your happiness4 ,you are to me the whole world1 and more than the whole world4 ,extensive and singular as are my prerogatives1 ,i fold them up2 ,i forget them all2 and think of you alone40 ,i cannot give a stronger proof than is contained in what ,i have here stated1 of the misery of my condition4 ,i was cheated1 as ,i have once before remarked1 with the form of a man1 but had nothing of the substance4 ,i was endowed with the faculty of speech1 but was cut off from its proper and genuine use4 ,i was utterly alone in the world1 separated by an insurmountable barrier from every being of my species4 ,no man could understand me2 no man could sympathise with me2 no man could form the remotest guess at what was passing in my breast4 ,i had the use of words2 ,i could address my fellow-beings2 ,i could enter into dialogue with them4 ,i could discourse of every indifferent thing that the universe contained2 ,i could talk of every thing but my own feelings4 ,this1 and not the dungeon of ,bethlem ,gabor1 is the true solitude4 ,let no man1 after me1 pant for the acquisition of the philosopher's stone6 ,charles de ,damville had again left ,presburg1 the very instant he quitted the alcove4 ,when ,i inquired for him in the palace1 ,i received this afflicting intelligence4 ,i did not hesitate a moment in resolving that ,i would pursue his steps4 ,it was of the utmost consequence that ,i should overtake him2 all that was most interesting to me hung upon our interview4 ,the preparations however of my journey1 though followed with ardour1 inevitably reduced me to the being some hours in the rear of my son4 ,i was continually in his track1 but could not come up with him3 to judge from events1 you would have supposed that he had as strong a motive to fly1 as ,i had to pursue4 ,he led me along the course of the ,danube1 to the source of that far-famed and munificent river4 ,i reached the passage of the ,rhine1 and was on the point of crossing into ,alsace4 ,but here ,i lost all notice of ,charles2 no enquiry ,i could make was effectual to procure me the slightest intelligence4 ,he had not crossed the river2 he had proceeded neither to the right nor the left along its banks4 ,i was disappointed1 mortified1 and distressed4 ,what was ,i to do next8 ,could ,i return to ,pandora8 ,what tale must ,i relate to this adorable creature1 whom ,i had urged to depend upon my exertions8 ,could ,i leave her however to the anguish and uncertainty that must follow upon her hearing no more either from her lover or myself8 ,i think ,i never felt more truly depressed than in this conjuncture4 ,most amply1 most critically did the curse of the opus magnum attend upon my projects1 and render all my exertions abortive4 ,it was the same1 whether my plans were formed upon a larger or a smaller scale4 ,when ,i endeavoured to live in total obscurity in ,madrid1 when ,i undertook to be the steward and the father of the people of ,hungary1 and now that1 with a chastised ambition ,i sought1 what is permitted to all other human creatures1 to provide for the honourable settlement of my only son1 still1 still my evil genius pursued me1 and blasted every concern in which ,i presumed to interfere4 ,i had intruded between two faithful lovers3 unfortunate they had been indeed1 and considerable obstacles were interposed to their felicity2 but obstacles are commonly found to yield to firmness and constancy2 and1 without my fatal interference1 ,charles and ,pandora would one day have been happy4 ,if by adverse fates they had hitherto been kept asunder1 still they understood each other1 and rejoiced in their mutual confidence and attachment4 ,this1 the consolation of all their sorrows and disappointments1 it was mine to have destroyed4 ,the globe1 for aught ,i knew1 would speedily be interposed between them1 and here ,i stood in the middle point1 like one of those invincible repulsive powers hid in the storehouse of nature1 forbidding to them all future retrogression to each other4 ,,chapter ,,xlvii4 ,the picture which my distracted fancy thus set before the eye of my mind1 was not altogether verified in the event4 ,after a thousand fruitless inquiries and perquisitions1 ,i found1 to my utter astonishment1 that ,charles1 arresting his career at the town of ,fribourg1 had returned upon his steps1 and sought a second time the metropolis of ,austrian ,hungary4 ,this was of the class of those events which we sometimes meet with in the world1 that baffle all calculation1 and strike us like magic1 or like madness1 in their authors4 ,i had nothing to do1 as ,i conceived1 on this occasion1 but to follow the example of my son1 and like him to resume the route of ,presburg4 ,i yet hoped to witness1 if not to co-operate in1 the reconciliation of ,charles and ,pandora4 ,my spirits in this respect were revived1 and my prospects made brighter1 by the thoughts that these virtuous and meritorious lovers were at last likely to be once again inclosed within the cincture of the same city4 ,add to which1 my ,venetian confederate had not yet made his appearance at ,presburg2 and not only was ,i under engagements to give him the meeting there1 but it was also clear that his errand could not be brought to its proper close without my assistance4 ,i once more entered the city to which ,pandora owed her birth4 ,charles de ,damville had preceded my arrival several days4 ,i should without delay have repaired to his apartments1 but that ,i found at my own lodgings a letter from ,benedetto ,cabriera of ,venice1 informing me that he was now in ,presburg1 and to avoid all cause for suspicion1 had taken up his residence in a remote quarter of the town4 ,from the enquiries ,i made1 ,i became satisfied that my son had in some degree resumed his usual occupations1 and that there was no appearance of his again immediately quitting the metropolis4 ,i therefore felt my transaction with ,cabriera more urgent than an immediate conference with ,charles4 ,though ,i had sought that conference with earnest expedition1 yet ,i dreaded it4 ,it might require the maturest consideration and the nicest management1 to render it effectual for the purposes ,i sought4 ,i found from certain intelligence that ,damville and ,pandora had yet had no explanation with each other4 ,i therefore regarded my exertions for that purpose as a final effort2 and ,i was willing that every thing should be in train1 and the portion of ,pandora fully adjusted1 before ,i entered upon that interesting scene4 ,with ,cabriera ,i had little difficulty4 ,the documents and evidences of his tale we had concerted at ,venice2 and ,i presently found that he told his story so plausibly1 and supported it so consistently1 that it was admitted by every one without the smallest suspicion4 ,no sooner had ,cabriera opened his business to the parties to whom the cognisance of it most properly belonged1 than ,i once more presented myself to the beautiful and engaging niece of ,nadasti4 ,the instant ,i entered her apartment1 ,i was shocked with the extreme change of her personal appearance4 ,all the airiness1 alertness and vivacity1 that had once so exquisitely adorned her1 were gone4 ,the roses in her cheek were faded1 and had given place to a delicate1 but sickly paleness4 ,her arms1 though always what is called white1 had before been round1 and had been distinguished by the purest hue of health4 ,they were now emaciated1 skinny1 and colourless4 ,her eyes were hollow1 and her eyelids inflamed with weeping4 ,all these changes had taken place in about five weeks that had elapsed since ,i saw her last4 ,i was so struck with the sight1 that ,i involuntarily started1 and could scarcely command myself enough to refrain from tears4 ,it was plain that she carried an arrow in her bosom1 which one hand only in the universe could extract with safety4 ,as ,i approached1 she raised her lovely head that had been depressed with grief1 and lifted her white arms with an expression of despair4 8,come nearer1 my sweet ,henry10 said she1 8,i rejoice to see you2 though you have proved my worst enemy1 the destroyer of my peace4 ,but your intentions1 my kind boy1 my brother1 for such ,i will still call you1 have always been good and innocent4 ,but1 ah1 ,henry1 you have deluded me2 you urged me to banish despair2 and every day ,i see more reason to despair40 ,i asked if she had not seen the chevalier since his return to ,presburg4 8,it were better for me10 replied ,pandora1 8if ,i had not seen him4 ,what has really happened1 is worse than if ,i had been denied to see him4 ,i have met him every day in the apartments of my aunt4 ,to an indifferent eye it would have appeared as if he neither sought nor avoided me4 ,he carries himself towards me with a cold and constrained civility4 ,but he neither demands an interview1 nor allows me the opportunity to utter a word to him in private4 ,oh1 ,d',aubigny1 ,i see too well that ,i have lost him for ever4 ,when he fled my presence1 when he resolved to seek some distant region1 cruel as that conduct was1 it convinced me that ,i was of some importance to him4 ,but now he passes by me in stern neglect2 he has utterly driven me from his heart4 ,indeed1 my brother1 this last blow is too much2 ,i feel that ,i shall never recover it40 8,and does the chevalier10 cried ,i1 8appear at his ease8 ,does he exhibit the wonted symptoms of his health and triumphant spirit80 8,away2 too pleasing deluder60 replied ,pandora4 8,cheat me not with false hopes6 flatter me not with unreal expectations6 ,damville does not appear to be well or happy4 ,but you have deceived me too much2 the disappointments that you prepared for me are too excruciating4 ,i feel now at no time so high a degree of gloomy satisfaction and composure1 as when ,i press despair firmly to my breast4 8,but you1 ,henry10 continued she1 8are probably uninformed of my last and severest misfortune4 ,i had a great uncle in the list of the adventurers that achieved the conquest of ,peru2 he has died1 and unexpectedly bequeathed me a fortune1 that sets the portionless ,pandora upon a level with the wealthy heiresses of the great palatine himself4 ,for a long time want of fortune was the only obstacle that stood between me and all my hopes of happiness4 ,now that poverty is no longer an evil to me1 and wealth no longer desirable1 ,i have obtained this unwelcome acquisition4 ,you can have no conception how painful a sensation is produced by this mockery1 the gift of ample possessions to the votary of despair40 ,i endeavoured somewhat to encourage ,pandora2 but she obstinately rejected my soothings4 ,i was the less importunate on this subject1 as1 since the return of my son1 ,i persisted to persuade myself that ,i should soon have something more substantial to offer her on his part1 than mere guesses and conjectures4 ,the day after this conversation1 ,i boldly sought the presence of the chevalier4 ,till then1 ,i had1 since our return to ,presburg1 avoided to meet him4 ,i now resolved to force from him a hearing2 to assure him1 with the most solemn asseverations1 of my own innocence1 and the constancy of his mistress2 to represent to him in how eminent a degree the newly acquired estate of ,pandora was calculated to facilitate their mutual wishes2 and finally1 to offer him any pledge he should desire of the sincerity of my declarations1 even to the banishing myself from the presence and intercourse of him and the lovely ,pandora for ever4 ,when ,i saw my son1 his appearance and air advanced a forcible claim on my compassion4 ,i will not now describe them4 ,suffice it1 that they completely proved1 how true was the sympathy1 even to the minutest particulars1 between him and his mistress4 ,the difference was only in kind1 and not in degree3 hers a defenceless1 a delicate and truly feminine grief2 while his1 amidst all its aggravations1 had something in it of the champion and the hero4 ,when he felt most severely1 he seemed to disdain himself for what he felt2 and1 though his struggles were excruciating1 he resolutely smoothed his manly front1 and the loftiness of his spirit produced on his cheek a generous and a settled blush4 ,i have just said that ,i had resolved to force from him a hearing4 ,i was mistaken in my calculations on this point4 ,dejected as his habits had lately been1 he no sooner saw me1 than he advanced towards me with a fierce and imperative demeanour1 that absolutely startled me4 8,how is it1 man60 cried he1 8that you are at this hour out of custody80 8,custody60 interdicted and astonished1 repeated ,i4 8,yes1 custody6 ,if such a wretch as thou art1 be permitted to go at large1 what human institution1 what human possessions1 shall ever be secure80 8,good ,god10 said ,i1 8what am ,i to understand by your present rage8 ,i know that you have considered me as your personal enemy and the underminer of your happiness4 ,but1 when first you accused me of this crime1 you treated me in a manner less violent and disdainful than that which you now employ40 8,i brook not to explain4 ,read that letter4 ,i received it at ,fribourg4 ,that letter brought me back from the confines of ,france to the spot where now we meet40 ,i took up the letter4 ,its contents were nearly as follow3-- ,,letter4 8,my dear ,friend1--,you will permit me to call you so1 since to me1 and me only1 you have recently thought proper to confide your projects1 and your unfortunate passion for the charming ,pandora4 ,what you related to me on the subject convinced me how much she was unworthy of your love1 and how basely she has conducted herself towards you4 ,yet you will yourself feel some compassion for her1 when you learn who it is upon whom she has bestowed this unmerited preference4 ,know then that this wretched ,d',aubigny is no other than the notorious ,chatillon1 the infamous impostor1 who1 by his machinations about a year ago preserved the ,turkish provinces of ,hungary from being conquered by the christian arms4 ,the man is moreover a magician1 the pretended or real possessor of the philosopher's stone4 ,he is therefore doubly worthy of death1 first as a traitor1 the abettor and comforter of the common enemy of the christian faith1 and1 secondly1 as a dealer in the black art1 and a man notoriously sold and delivered over to the devil4 8,i have received this information from the most unquestionable authority4 ,a soldier in my old corps1 who has lately escaped from a ,turkish prison1 no sooner saw him than he identified his person4 ,i happened to be near the fellow at the moment1 when1 by an unexpected exclamation1 he betrayed his discovery4 ,it immediately struck me that the circumstance might be of importance to your interests2 and1 therefore1 taking the soldier aside1 ,i charged him not to mention to any one what he had observed4 ,to render his secrecy the more secure1 ,i have since removed him to a garrison at some distance from ,presburg2 and ,i have myself mentioned the circumstance to no living creature1 that ,i might first receive your instructions on the subject1 and act in all respects concerning it as you shall judge proper4 ,the blackness of the character of the man sets all exaggeration at defiance4 ,this very individual1 whom you liberated from the bowels of the earth1 who by the most treacherous arts won your confidence1 and upon whom you lavishly heaped every imaginable distinction1 was all the while conscious to himself1 that he was the character that of all that live you hated most2 in one word1 the renegado ,chatillon4 ,he acted consistently with his preceding conduct and his recent disingenuousness1 when he seduced from you the affections of the woman of your choice4 8,i am concerned to add1 that1 on the very day that ,i made this discovery1 this ,chatillon ,d',aubigny disappeared from ,presburg1 nor can ,i by any effort learn whither he is gone4 ,it is impossible he should have been informed by any human means of the detection that had happened4 ,but indeed it is vain to attempt to form any reasonable conjecture1 respecting a character so mysterious and inexplicable4 8,your devoted friend1 8,,andrew1 count of ,,bathori40 8,well1 sir10 seeing ,i had finished the perusal1 8and what have you now to allege8 ,when ,i saw you simply as the favoured lover of ,pandora1 however treacherous and dishonourable ,i might deem your conduct towards me1 ,i quitted the field4 ,i did not trust myself to be a judge in my own cause4 ,i did not confide in my estimate of your unworthiness1 when ,i was myself wholly concerned4 ,i had some time before received an invitation from the duke d',aumale1 who was collecting a number of generous and high-spirited nobles to accompany ,mary queen of ,scots to the barbarous fields of her native realm4 ,i at first declined1 ,i now accepted1 the invitation2 ,i set out for ,paris to join him4 ,i found that letter waiting my arrival at ,fribourg1 and ,i returned4 ,deeply as ,pandora has sunk in my esteem1 ,i determined ,i would never allow her to be thrown away upon the infamous ,chatillon4 8,you haunt my steps4 ,i heard of you again and again on my route as ,i returned from ,fribourg4 ,i arrive at ,presburg1 and presently after you again make your appearance4 ,what further villanies have you to act8 ,what new treacheries have you devised against me8 ,this morning ,i consented to the representations of count ,bathori1 and agreed that you should be delivered up to justice4 ,why then are you not in custody8 8,when ,i consider the mystery and inscrutableness of your character1 ,i am lost in conjecture4 ,you are said to be a magician1 a dealer in the unhallowed secrets of alchymy and the elixir vit4 ,in cases like this1 all the ordinary rules of human sagacity and prudence are superseded1 the wisest man is a fool1 and the noblest spirit feels the very ground he stood on struck from under his feet4 ,how can ,i know that the seduction of ,pandora's affections is not owing to magical incantations1 who in that case is rather an object for compassion than for censure8 ,how can ,i tell that the fraternal resemblance borne by your features to my own1 and the sudden and ardent partiality that rose in my breast when first ,i saw you1 have not been produced by the most detested arts8 ,magic dissolves the whole principle and arrangement of human action1 subverts all generous enthusiasm and dignity1 and renders life itself loathsome and intolerable4 8,this is to me the most painful of all subjects4 ,i had a father whom ,i affectionately loved3 he became the dupe of these infernal secrets4 ,i had a mother1 the paragon of the creation3 that father murdered her4 ,all the anguish ,i ever felt1 has derived its source from alchymy and magic4 ,while the infamous ,chatillon thus stands before me1 ,i feel all the long-forgotten wounds of my heart new opened1 and the blood bursting afresh from every vein4 ,i have rested1 and been at peace2 and now the red and venomed plague1 that tarnished the years of my opening youth1 returns to blast me4 ,begone1 infamous1 thrice-damned villain6 and let me never see thee more6 8,wretch that you are60 continued ,charles2 for he saw me motioning to withdraw1--,i felt that all further expostulation and discussion on my part was useless1--8wretch that you are6 what is it that you are about to do8 ,think no to escape my vengeance6 ,in the midst of all the tumultuous passions you waken in my breast1 ,i still feel in myself the soldier and the man of honour4 ,i am not a thief-taker or a bailiff4 ,you are within my power1 and that is your present protection4 ,i will not now deliver you up to the justice of the state1 but will hurl against you my personal defiance4 ,i am willing to meet you man to man3 ,i thirst to encounter you as my worst and most mortal foe1 who has perpetrated against me the basest injuries1 and excited in my bosom the most hateful sensations4 ,though you were fenced with all the legions of hell1 ,i fear you not2 and seeing that1 after all that is past1 you have once again intruded into my presence1 ,i here bind myself by all that is sacred to pursue you to the death40 ,what could ,i answer to such an attack8 ,i saw at once that the case1 as to all future harmony between me and my son was desperate and irremediable4 ,what hope could ,i entertain further8 ,what had hitherto been the result of our ill-fated intercourse8 ,every offence and prejudice that can gall the human mind had been brought forward in it in turn4 ,i had wounded ,damville in the most sensible point of private life1 and had blasted his hopes there where he stored them all4 ,i had offended his most rooted political prepossessions1 by aiding the ,turk1 and feeding a nation that perished with hunger4 ,i was an equivocal character1 assuming different names1 and wandering over the world with different pretences4 ,last of all1 ,i had revived in his mind the images of his father and his mother1--all that had once been most dear1 and now was most painful1 to his recollection2 and had tortured his fancy with nameless horrors4 ,these sentiments could never be removed4 ,all the explanations in the world could never reconcile me to his mind2 and ,i felt that ,i had that within1 which1 in what was to come1 as it had in what was past1 must for ever annihilate all confidence between us4 ,at once therefore ,i accepted his challenge1 arranged with him the terms of a hostile encounter on the following morning1 and immediately after bid adieu to ,presburg1 and to the sight of every soul contained within its walls1 for ever4 ,this is1 ,i powerfully feel1 the last adventure that ,i shall ever have the courage to commit to writing4 ,a few minutes more1 and ,i will lay down my pen1 and resolve in the most solemn and sacred manner never to compose another line4 ,indeed1 all other adventures must necessarily be frigid and uninteresting1 compared with that which ,i have now described4 ,great ,god1 what a fate was mine6 ,anxious as ,i had been to prove myself in the most momentous respects the benefactor of my son1 dismissing all other thoughts and cares from my mind1 journeying with this sole object in view1 from ,presburg to ,venice1 and from ,venice to ,presburg1 from ,hungary to the banks of the ,rhine1 and from the banks of the ,rhine back again to ,hungary1--the whole scene was now terminated by a declaration on his part1 that nothing could appease the animosity he cherished against me1 short of rioting in the blood of his father's heart4 ,i was reduced to the necessity either of lifting my sword against my son1 of running myself upon the point of his weapon1 or of forfeiting the engagement between us1 and suffering him to brand me as a coward in the face of ,christendom4 ,i mention not this1 because the variety of objects of choice produced in me the slightest hesitation4 ,weary as ,i was of life1 ,i could cheerfully have consented to die1 but not to stain the sword of ,charles de ,damville with my vital blood4 ,i prevented him from being the assassin of his father's life2 ,i could not prevent him from being the assassin of his father's character4 ,he was assiduous and indefatigable in spreading against me the blackest invectives1 which he regarded as the most unerring truths4 ,all ,hungary has resounded for thirty years with the atrocities of the sieur de ,chatillon2 what is here recorded contains the whole and unvarnished truth on the subject4 ,this narrative however shall never see the light1 till the melancholy hour when ,charles de ,damville shall be no more4 ,yet in the midst of the anguish1 the disappointment of every cherished hope1 which rends my soul1 ,i have one consolation1 and that an invaluable one1 in the virtues1 the glory1 and the happiness of my son4 ,i said ,i would forget every gratification and sentiment of my own in him2 ,i am now more than ever instigated to do so4 ,when ,i quitted ,presburg1 ,i left ,cabriera behind me in that city1 and ,i took care to obtain a parting interview with him4 ,he afterwards gave me the meeting1 as we then concerted1 at ,trieste in the duchy of ,carniola4 ,it happened1 as ,i had flattered myself the event would prove1 that1 the visible source of umbrage being removed1 ,charles and ,pandora in no long time came to a mutual understanding1 and were finally made happy in each other4 ,i had been the fortunate means of supplying to this excellent and incomparable creature the only defect under which she laboured1 a want of fortune2 her uncle1 having no longer a pretence to oppose their mutual passion1 united their hands2 and1 at the time of which ,i am speaking1 they were regarded as the most graceful and accomplished couple in the whole ,hungarian dominions4 ,the chevalier de ,damville is considered in that country as the great bulwark of the ,christian frontier1 and the most generous and illustrious pupil in the school of the ,bayards and the ,scanderbegs4 ,cabriera1 worn out with years and fatigues1 but still grasping and avaricious to his latest hour1 expired in my arms in the city of ,trieste2 and by his death yielded me this contentment1 that henceforth the only obvious means for detecting my beneficent fraud in securing the dower of ,pandora was for ever removed4 ,that the reader may enter the more fully into my sentiment of congratulation upon the happiness of my son1 and rise from the perusal of my narrative with a more soothing and pleasurable sensation1 ,i will here shortly recapitulate the good qualities that had been unfolded in this truly extraordinary young man from his earliest infancy4 ,he was a child1 only nine years of age1 at the period of the truly affecting and exemplary behaviour the reader may remember him to have displayed1 while ,i was at ,paris squandering the property of my family at the gaming-table4 ,in the alienation of mind produced in me by that dreadful catastrophe1 he was my constant attendant1 my careful nurse1 and my affectionate friend4 ,when1 twelve months after1 we were driven by our calamities out of ,switzerland1 and ,i lay extended to all human appearance on the bed of death1 ,charles was the comforter of his mother1 the friend of his sisters1 and even1 young as he was1 contributed to the maintenance of my starving family by the labour of his infant hands4 ,at ,dresden1 as yet no more than seventeen years of age1 he was assailed by one of the severest trials with which the mind of man can in any case be beset4 ,but he hesitated not a moment4 ,obliged to choose between poverty and innocence1 with the sacrifice of all his habitudes1 and the loss of every friend1 on the one side1 and wealth1 new to his enjoyment1 with ignominy or an equivocal character1 on the other1 his determination was instant and unalterable4 ,cast1 at so immature an age1 alone and portionless1 upon the world1 he almost immediately1 by his gallantry1 his winning qualities1 and his virtues1 gained to himself a friend in one of the greatest captains of the age4 ,unaided by the brilliancy of family or fortune1 he acquired the character of the bravest soldier in ,hungary1 where all were brave4 ,this last trial1 to which ,i had been the undesigning means of subjecting him1 was none of the least arduous4 ,love often entails imbecility on the noblest of mankind3 but ,charles surmounted the most perilous attacks of this all-conquering passion4 ,when he thought ,pandora unworthy1 he tore himself from her1 and would not admit a struggle4 ,when he believed she loved another1 he disdained to claim a heart that seemed alienated from him1 and himself joined the hands of his mistress and his rival4 ,he might have died2 he could not disgrace himself4 ,i was the hero's father6--but no6 ,i am not blinded by paternal partiality2--but no6 he was indeed what ,i thought him1 as near the climax of dignity and virtue as the frailty of our nature will admit4 ,his virtue was at length crowned with the most enviable reward the earth has to boast1--the faithful attachment of a noble-minded and accomplished woman4 ,i am happy to close my eventful and somewhat melancholy story with so pleasing a termination4 ,whatever may have been the result of my personal experience of human life1 ,i can never recollect the fate of ,charles and ,pandora without confessing with exultation1 that this busy and anxious world of ours yet contains something in its stores that is worth living for4 ,,the ,,end4 ,,footnotes #a ,to this story1 in the book from which ,i have quoted it1 is subjoined the following reference3--8,mmoires ,historiques1 #afhg1 tom4 i4 p4 #cfe40 ,being desirous of giving my extract from the oldest authority1 ,i caused the ,british ,museum1 and the libraries of ,oxford and ,cambridge1 to be searched for this publication1 but in vain4 ,the story and the reference are1 not improbably1 both of them the fictions of the ,english writer4 #b ,johnson's ,occasional ,prologue on ,garrick's assuming the management of ,drury-lane ,theatre4 #c ,charles ,v4 #d ,henry ,,viii4 #e ,antonio de ,leyva4 #f ,the constable of ,bourbon4 #g ,mistresses of ,francis ,i4 #h ,the battle of ,cerisolles4 #i ,this incident is told1 nearly in the words of ,st4 ,leon1 by ,thuanus1 ,histori ,sui ,temporis1 lib4 #b4 cap4 #ad4 ,,london3 ,printed by ,a4 ,r4 ,spottiswoode1 ,new-,street-,square4