,,nooks ,,and ,,corners ,,printed ,,by ,,spottiswoode ,,and ,,co41 ,,new-,,street ,,square ,,london ,illustration3 ,a ,french ,window ,,nooks ,,and ,,corners ,,being ,,the ,,companion ,,volume ,,to #8,,from ,,kitchen ,,to ,,garret' ,,by ,j4 ,e4 ,,panton ,,author ,,of #8,,by-,,paths ,,and ,,cross-,,roads' #8,,the ,,curate',s ,,wife' #8,a ,,tangled ,,chain' #8,,country ,,sketches ,,in ,,black ,,and ,,white' ,,etc4 ,,illustrated ,london ,,ward ,,downey #ab ,,york ,,street1 ,,covent ,,garden #ahhi ,all rights reserved ,,contents ,,chapter ,,page ,i4 ,,moving ,,house #a ,,ii4 ,,halls ,,and ,,passages #bc ,,iii4 ,,nooks ,,and ,,corners #dh ,,iv4 ,,the ,,billiard-,,room ,,and ,,library #hd ,v4 ,,shall ,,we ,,do ,,away ,,with ,,the ,,nursery8 #ii ,,vi4 ,,the ,,girls' ,,room #aac ,,vii4 ,,coming-,,out ,,and ,,dress #acc ,,viii4 ,,christenings ,,and ,,weddings #aec ,,ix4 ,,about ,,the ,,boys #agb ,x4 ,,some ,,domestic ,,details #aij ,,xi4 ,,the ,,sick ,,room #bji ,,xii4 ,,where ,,shall ,,we ,,go ,,for ,a ,,change8 #bbg ,,illustrations ,a ,,french ,,window ,frontispiece ,,figs4 ,,page #a4 ,,hall ,,arrangement #be #b4 ,,oak ,,buffet #bh #c4 ,,staircase ,,window #dj #d4 ,a ,,london ,,landing #da #e1 #f4 ,,hall ,,wardrobes #dd1 #de #g4 ,a ,,summer ,,corner #ec #h4 ,a ,,winter ,,corner #fj #i4 ,,arches ,,for ,a ,,double ,,room #fc #aj4 ,,simple ,,mantel ,,draping #ff #aa4 ,a ,,recess #fi #ab4 ,a ,,draped ,,piano #gb #ac4 ,,conservatory ,,door #gd #ad4 ,,frilled ,,chairs ,,and ,,sofa #ha #ae4 ,,an ,,empty ,,nursery #ajc #af4 ,,boudoir-,,bedroom #aba #ag4 ,,an ,,ideal ,,kitchen #bje ,,nooks ,,and ,,corners4 ,,chapter ,i4 ,,moving ,,house4 ,i have been asked by a great many readers of #8,from ,kitchen to ,garret' to produce another book on the ever fascinating subject of household management and house decoration2 and ,i have been furthermore requested to consider ,edwin and ,angelina from another standpoint1 and to regard them as having increased their borders in more ways than one1 and1 having become richer and at the same time more numerous1 as now beginning to move from their small house1 furnished so joyfully and hopefully in the early flush of their married happiness1 to one larger in every way1 and more suited to their present income and growing family4 ,i confess that ,i begin my task with just a little diffidence1 and a little misgiving1 too1 and feel just a wee bit as sad over the beginning of this little volume as ,i know my young couples must feel when1 no longer quite as young as they were1 they turn their backs on that dear little first home1 and take up their abode in the newer1 far more convenient habitation1 welcomed so joyfully by the children1 who declare that now1 and now only1 they will have room in which to breathe6 ,for1 successful as #8,from ,kitchen to ,garret' is1 and many as are the friends ,i have made through its pages1 ,i am rather doubtful about another book on the same lines2 still1 ,i can but do my best1 and so1 without any more forewords on the matter1 ,i will at once plunge into my subject1 and will trust that all those who have made their little houses pretty by either following or improving on the hints given in my first book will not disdain to follow me once more into those ,nooks and ,corners of house-furnishing and house-keeping1 which were deemed too ambitious for my young couple1 or were forgotten in the first essay on the subject4 ,besides which1 as life goes on1 ,i am thankful to say that decoration becomes more and more a fine art4 ,formerly people rather scorned the idea of being #8house-proud' in the same manner in which all are nowadays4 ,their house-pride was merely expressed in the amount of gilding compressed into a single room2 in the thickness of their carpets1 the heaviness of their draperies1 and the general costliness of the plenishing1 and the amount of money these things had cost was far more often spoken of than anything else2 while the name of the upholsterer was mentioned1 not as a guarantee that taste and skill had been called into action1 but as a proof that money in this case had not been an object4 ,formerly1 did ,i say8 ,alas6 cases still exist of this heavy and depressing style of thing6 ,money is poured out like water on carpets that are nightmares1 and on papers that are as absolutely meaningless as they are ugly1 and the despair of anyone who is called in1 as ,i am constantly1 to mitigate the horrors of some gigantic monument of bad taste and lavish expenditure4 ,and then1 too1 people are still1 as a rule1 far too timid1 and act far too much in a hurry2 they believe far too much in the upholsterer1 and far too little in themselves2 and above all they cannot get out of the terrible ,english habit1 carried through every single department in life1 of buying a thing because they admire it1 and not because it suits what they already possess1 thus marring at every step their chances of having a home which is always a pleasure to inhabit1 and a restful refuge from the cares and toils of life4 ,but it is to assist the timid and those who lack confidence in their own tastes1 and furthermore who may live in distant country places1 where nothing new penetrates even in these days of parcel-posts and illustrated newspapers1 that ,i am writing this book1 and wrote #8,from ,kitchen to ,garret1' and therefore ,i must not scold but rather encourage those who would add to the beauty of their surroundings1 but do not quite know how to set about it3 and ,i am most anxious that there may soon be no house anywhere in ,england that may not have some claim to be considered beautiful or interesting or pretty2 for indeed there is no reason why the humblest among us may not have a charming home1 as certainly1 if he or she have taste1 money nowadays is not a barrier between beauty and the public at large4 ,therefore when any among my readers makes up her mind that it is absolutely necessary that a move should be made1 the first piece of advice ,i would give her is that she should determine on her future locality1 if not on the abode itself1 before she is driven from her first house by the lapsing of a lease or the necessity of deciding immediately because a tenant is forthcoming for house number one2 for if not1 she may find herself forced into an uncongenial neighbourhood or into a house that has every unpleasant quality under the sun4 ,above all she must be prepared for a certain amount of acute misery1 mental1 at any rate1 if not physical1 for there is something about one's first married home that one can never really replace1 and that renders our fitting into our new locality only a little less torturing than inhabiting a new skin would be1 were we suddenly forced into one4 ,personally ,i am not one bit sentimental2 ,i never cried over a faded flower1 or lay awake weeping bitter tears over an unhappy love-affair3 ,i never had one1 ,i am thankful to say4 ,neither have ,i hoarded first shoes1 snippings of baby curls1 nor indeed anything save my wedding-dress1 which is a most valuable #8property' for characters and private theatricals of all kinds2 and therefore ,i am considered absolutely lacking in #8fine feelings1' and unhampered by #8nonsense'2 but ,i have never yet become reconciled to the moves we have had to make after our first twelve years of married life1 and ,i much doubt now if ,i ever shall2 ,i certainly shall not until ,i make move number three1 and what is perhaps the most curious point in the whole business is that ,i did not like the house1 nor the town1 nor indeed anything much about it1 and yet ,i can never see certain looks in the sky1 scent certain odours1 without being transported to dear dull ,dorsetshire1 and without longing in a curious home-sick way for the marvellously lovely range of the ,purbeck hills1 which haunts me like a dream1 and for which ,i am convinced ,i should positively pine1 had ,i the smallest touch of sentiment in my composition4 ,the house itself was most wretchedly inconvenient1 the furniture of over twenty years ago--aye1 and some of it over fifty years ago--does not bear thinking about in these sthetic days4 ,i endured dullness such as only a ,london girl1 plunged suddenly into an atmosphere she could not comprehend1 much less assimilate1 could experience3 we had three years of unspeakable worries2 and yet1 with it all--with its hideous rooms and its cold and ugly passages1 its out-of-the-worldness1 and its unpleasant associations--there is something about it that no other house can ever hold1 and that causes me often and often to dream ,i am there again1 or that makes me hear sometimes on a quiet night the old sound of the sudden clash of the china closet door1 the opening of the door at the top of the kitchen stairs--which1 ,i believe1 has been taken away now by desecrating hands1 and which had a sound all its own--or that causes me to wake suddenly from sleep to wonder at the late return of phantom waggons and ghostly horses over stones that are hundreds of miles away from our present uncongenial abode1 and which caused sounds inseparable from thoughts of those dear dead days--days ,i would have back this moment if ,i could1 if only to live them over once more in a manner a thousand times better than an inexperienced girl could ever do1 and use then the experience one buys at such an enormous cost because one will not listen to words of wisdom from those who have lived so very much longer in the world than we had then1 and which is useless now1 because one sees all too late what one might have done for others4 ,these experiences and reminiscences of mine may seem out of place here1 but they really are not4 ,i shall in this book1 as in my last1 speak only of what ,i have experienced2 and ,i am so convinced that when house-moving is done heartbreak must ensue that ,i dwell upon this aspect of the case in order that the first house may not be left capriciously1 but only because it is absolutely necessary to go elsewhere4 ,i have always felt myself1 unsentimental creature though ,i am1 that a house absorbs some of one's own personality3 that the very walls we warm with our breathing1 living selves1 and among which we spend our lives1 and allow ourselves to be ourselves without any company veneer1 must in some measure become impregnated by our vitality4 ,you may1 for example1 re-paper and re-furnish your room1 but in a very short time that room looks exactly like you once more1 and becomes again in a week or two--a month1 at most--part and parcel of your own individuality4 ,but leave your house1 and1 if you can muster sufficient courage to do so1 go and call on the next inhabitant1 and you will see in one moment what ,i mean4 ,the very room is altered4 ,your successors may have kept your decorations1 taken off your #8fixtures1' and gone on the very same lines as regards furnishing and arrangement as you did1 but it will not look in the very least like you1 and you will not believe you are in the same room in which you have spent so many happy and unhappy hours4 ,at first1 therefore1 in any new house you have not only to adapt yourself and your furniture to it1 but you have by your individuality to imprint yourself on the very fabric itself4 ,the last owner's individuality fades at once2 ,i have seen few empty houses that do not look precisely like something dead3 the body is there1 but the spirit is absent4 ,and there is a blank awful chill about such a house that penetrates one's very soul and depresses one in an extraordinary way2 but it takes some time to reanimate the body1 and1 indeed1 in an unloved atmosphere ,i question if it is ever done4 ,some folk the house won't have at any price1 and there are one or two places ,i wot of that are blank still1 because uncongenial people have them and are incapable of living up to them properly2 they put just the wrong draperies in the windows1 wrench the doors round into the wrong places1 and finally have hung the very worst colours on the walls1 and1 indeed1 have treated it in such an inconsiderate way that it never responds1 and remains silent1 angular1 unsatisfied1 dead1 as long as those people remain within its shelter4 ,angelina1 when she really must move therefore1 must remember to think over all these details4 ,i envy everyone myself who has a really inherited house--a house which has absorbed the family atmosphere for centuries1 that has never been passed from hand to hand and from family to family until it has no recollection of who built it or what it was built for2 a house for which it is an intense and real pleasure to plan improvements1 to deck as one would deck a child of one's own1 knowing that what we spent on it or did for it would benefit and please not only ourselves but those who are to come after us4 ,yes2 hopeless ,radical as ,i am in everything else1 ,i am ,conservative indeed in the house ,i would have if ,i could2 but in these days of progress1 when most people grow rich1 and many only use their dwelling-place as a shelter1 and don't think of it as a home1 ,i am constantly being pained to see retired city men and lawyers--the two classes which become really wealthy1 taking over the delightful places which once owned #8county families1' and ruining the society round with their ostentation and the ridiculous airs only found in suburban places where #8society' so-called consists of #8twopence three-farthings looking down on twopence1' while the poor houses themselves are ruined too by utterly inappropriate furnishing and by decorations suitable only for an ordinary #8mansion1' furnished by giving carte blanche to some enterprising and advertising tradesman4 ,should ,angelina have made her first home in the family dwelling-place1 she will never have to learn what moving house really means4 ,she can allow her roots to sink as deeply as she likes into the kindly soil1 and she can make it all as charming as she will1 because she will know that all she does will only benefit her own2 but as there are indeed few nowadays who can contemplate this 7for even the absorbers of the old places round ,london never think of the generation behind them1 and often and often cut up the land for eligible building sites1 with as little compunction as one cuts up a cake at a school-feast3 only taking care it shall go as far as it can71 we need not dwell on this aspect of the case1 but on the one that should be the motive of this chapter1 namely1 moving house4 ,if you are tolerably happy in the neighbourhood you know1 pray take my advice and remain there2 there are sure to be discomforts of some kind or other in any locality4 ,i have never yet come across anyone who was perfectly satisfied with his or her belongings2 certainly ,i have never met anyone who had not bitter complaint to make about the special locality he or she inhabited1 and yet who did not ruffle up their feathers the moment any stranger found fault with it4 ,but a neighbourhood is like a house1 and requires locally knowing2 and if we are for ever changing our neighbourhood1 we can never feel at home anywhere4 ,no doubt it is an unfashionable idea nowadays1 this clinging to one place2 but ,i think1 if more consideration were given to the subject1 life would be much better than it is at present1 for far more good can be done by those who are able to help their poorer neighbours1 should they remain year after year in the same place2 for they are thus enabled to know them thoroughly1 to sift the deserving from the hopeless1 and finally to interest themselves in such a way in the real life around them that the place in which fate has placed them is in some measure better for their having made their home there4 ,and this cannot be done satisfactorily by mere birds of passage1 who have no #8vested interests' in the place1 and are ready to be off at a minute's notice1 just because they think a change would be nice4 ,and once having made up your minds that a change of house is imperative1 ,i advise you to ponder seriously and at great length over the pros and cons of a residence in the same neighbourhood1 before finally determining to plant your roots elsewhere4 ,i think what makes a residence in the suburbs almost unendurable is this mania for change1 for we no sooner begin to know people there and like them than we find they are becoming uneasy2 they fancy the place is unhealthy1 someone has been rude1 the nicest people have not called--as if the nicest people ever did rush to call without introductions of some sort or other--and they are off impatiently before they have entered into the life of a place they condemn ruthlessly because they do not really know what it is like4 ,how long does it take to know a place8 ,well1 if you are lucky enough to go there with really good introductions1 ,i should think six months2 if you know no one1 and are dependent on chance1 or the vicar of the parish1 you may never know it at all2 but1 in ordinary cases1 and where people have had their edges clipped by really good society1 you ought to know quite as many people as you wish to in about three years4 ,therefore1 if you have begun your residence in the suburbs1 and have a nice church1 a nice doctor1 and nice friends1 stay there2 you don't know how deeply your roots are planted until you begin to drag them up4 ,if you are a ,londoner1 on no account be persuaded by artistic accounts of country delights to leave your beloved pavements and the exquisite freedom of a town life and surroundings3 and if you are born and have lived among cabbages and roses--if you love the country1 and can interest yourself mildly in the continual changes that are going on around you in your neighbours' houses and the cottages round about--remain there2 and be thankful for tastes which are innocent if they are circumscribed1 and often result in a far nobler life than that made up mostly from excitement and dissipation2 because anyone who can and will live cheerfully in the country1 making work for the labourer1 and employing folk in pure air1 and in decent habitations1 does much more for the human race than he wots of1 and should be encouraged to do so in any manner that one possibly can4 ,i am often being told that the country is a far cheaper place to live in than ,london2 but ,i have tried both1 and ,i know better4 ,in the first place1 in ,london you can do precisely what you like1 and1 provided your likes are not openly eccentric1 no one will interfere with you4 ,you can have ten friends or ten thousand acquaintances4 ,you may wear one dress as long as it will hold together1 and no one will doubt your capabilities of being respectable because of your shabby attire4 ,you may get up when you like1 go to bed when you like1 need not give to any charity if you are not charitably disposed1 need not keep a carriage1 because you can at any moment hail any vehicle1 and go anywhere you like2 and1 above all1 can be so easily amused1 and at so cheap a rate1 that one need hardly put down #8amusements' in our schedule at all4 ,now in the country we must have some sort of a carriage if we wish to get outside our own immediate neighbourhood and mix with our fellow-creatures2 from the humble #8four-wheel' of the farmer's wife1 and the curate's donkey-cart1 to the landau1 waggonette1 or smart little victoria of the other richer folk3 all must have some other means of progression than would be afforded by one's own legs4 ,our incomes are common property1 and1 should we have two new dresses in the course of the year1 are a prey for all those dear creatures who spend their time in being charitable on other folk's money4 ,we must have a garden1 and we obtain a scant supply of worm-eaten fruit1 inferior flowers1 and out-of-season vegetables1 at a price for which we could have obtained the very best stores of ,covent ,garden--for by out-of-season ,i don't mean that our pears and asparagus come before their time1 but considerably after the period when they have become cheap in the market in ,london2 and1 finally1 we cannot be amused without half ruining ourselves by constant rushes to town1 by subscribing largely to ,mudie1 and by taking in every newspaper we can lay our hands on if we are readers1 and if we are fond of finery1 by sending for constant new garments1 not because we want them1 but because we really want to see what is being worn4 ,of course rates1 rents1 and taxes are much less in the country2 but rent in ,london is less than it used to be1 and in unfashionable neighbourhoods is not too exorbitant2 but even with the rent considered1 ,i still maintain one can live more cheaply in ,london than elsewhere1 and can most certainly live longer there and far more pleasantly4 ,so ,i do most strongly advise country mice to remain country mice1 unless they make the change very young2 and ,i implore town mice to cling to their pavements1 for nothing short of a residence for generations in the country can teach one how to live under the microscope which is put over one the moment a stranger goes into the country to live1 and nothing save being born to it could ever reconcile one to having one's most intimate personal concerns discussed at the bar of every public house1 over every shop counter1 in every parlour1 as they are discussed in an ordinary rural place1 or to having one's most innocent speeches repeated until one would certainly not recognise them1 did they return to us after their last repetition4 ,i declare that twenty years of residence in and about the country have never reconciled me to all this1 or caused me to take the profound interest in my turn in my neighbours1 in the way that aborigines do to reconcile and repay themselves for their own sojourn under the microscope1 and which a country born and bred individual takes as naturally as he does his absence from the theatres1 and his utter lack of interest on any other topic than the ever-absorbing one of #8who is going to marry whom1' or who is not1 and what the curate's last baby was called1 and why that special name was selected2 and1 therefore1 ,i never lose an opportunity of warning the ducks to remain in the pond1 and the hens in the farmyard where they were hatched1 for ,i am quite sure my experience is not a solitary one by any means1 and has often been the fate of those who went into the country because no one warned them that the delights thereof were mere snares and delusions1 and who would give anything to return1 only they cannot afford another move4 ,and ,i have no doubt that the country mice are as miserable in the town in their turn3 they miss the intimate conversations1 the familiarity of their friendships2 they pine for fresh air1 and weep over #8smuts2' the noise and bustle we love so dearly bewilders and distresses them2 they object to putting on gloves and a bonnet whenever they go out1 resent being unable to #8run in' at any moment to their acquaintances1 dread the streets1 see disease lurking at every corner1 in every glass of milk1 in each vestment fresh from the laundress1 and1 pining away1 become pale1 ill1 and wretched1 and put it down to ,london1 when really the misery lies entirely in themselves4 ,have ,i said enough to show my readers that when they are contemplating a move they should do their utmost to remain in the same neighbourhood1 or at all events in one with the main workings of which they are in a measure familiar8 ,i think so2 and if at the same time ,i tell them to remember the church where their children were christened1 the doctor who helped them over so many hours of pain and trouble1 and finally the friends they made--and old friends should never be given up on any account whatever--,i believe they will see that a change even for the better has always its trials1 and that a great many things should be considered before up-rooting takes place1 and a family is landed in an entirely new locality1 that1 be it as nice as it may be1 has its own interests1 in which the new-comer has neither part nor parcel1 and its unwritten laws and small rules of etiquette1 which are as rigid as they are incomprehensible to an outsider4 ,i think in every neighbourhood there should be also some agent to send out lists of all the pros and cons1 the ins and outs of a neighbourhood1 which should show you at once the number and styles of the different churches1 the state of society 7it could be #8young1' #8army1' #8lawyers1' or anything almost71 the schools1 the advantages and disadvantages1 and1 in fact1 all the particulars one wants to know4 ,they should truthfully and in confidence give one all the required information1 and then one would not run the risk of making mistakes4 ,but as this seems impossible1 a residence for a short time in a furnished house 7one's own house could in turn be let to some one who wants to investigate our neighbourhood7 should be indulged in4 ,a very few weeks would inform us of all we want to know2 for even if we did not become acquainted with one soul personally1 we should have looked at the people and taken stock of their windows1 from which ,i think one can always learn so much1 and can quietly make our own inquiries about schools1 churches1 and the rest of the vital points of interest about a new residence1 and come as quietly to the conclusion as to whether the neighbourhood will suit us or not1 before going to the expense of moving and decorating to suit ourselves and our belongings--an expense which once incurred often binds us hard and fast to a place from which we would give our ears to remove4 ,then comes the question of the house4 ,this should be large enough to take all the family and allow for any possible additions2 but at the same time ,angelina will have to remember that when the boys are at school there will always be a room for a friend1 and therefore the question of spare rooms is not such a vital one as it was4 ,she will also have to legislate for the girls' own room--probably a room for a governess1 though a resident governess should be avoided unless the house is a good size1 and unless she is an absolute necessity4 ,there is the schoolroom to think of1 and she must contemplate--perhaps ruefully--the nurseries1 with an eye to adapting them to another purpose1 when that saddest of all days comes when we cannot deceive ourselves into believing a nursery is any longer necessary1 and we have to turn our backs on our youth and the dear small child-inhabitants at the same time4 ,a house without a nursery is never as joyous or lively as one that possesses such a room1 and it's no use trying to believe this to be the case4 ,still it is equally of no use to set apart the best room in the house for that most pleasant of all chambers1 if there is no chance of nursery children1 and if all are merged into the young gentlemen and ladies1 who are fast growing up and eagerly longing to launch their boats on the sea of life for a cruise of their own4 ,when the house is positively and actually selected and the move imminent1 when the lease is signed and the decorations are in train1 the first step to take is to get several estimates from firms who are accustomed to do nothing else save move furniture4 ,in nothing does price fluctuate so much as it does in these estimates1 and when we moved from ,dorsetshire to ,shortlands there was actually and positively a difference of #ajjl4 in the highest and lowest of the many estimates we had1 the person selected being just #ajjl4 lower in his price than the man who made us our first offer4 ,to move luxuriously we should have taken house number two for a quarter before we are obliged to leave our own4 ,of course if we could persuade the landlord to let us have it for six weeks it would be better2 but not many landlords are as accommodating as this1 and unfortunately many of us cannot afford a double rent even for such a short space of time4 ,still an effort should be made1 as undoubtedly much is wasted in a hurried move--in an enforced turning out on quarter day into another house on the same date4 ,it is only people in very straitened circumstances who accept in these artistic days of ours the landlord's scheme of decoration4 ,formerly there were no ideas in the head of an ordinary paterfamilias on the subject of paint and paper1 and as long as all was clean and in good condition he did not agitate himself in the least about his surroundings as far as mere colour and #8decoration' were concerned1 and he cheerfully spread his ,turkey carpet and placed his heavy sideboard and mahogany table and chairs in position1 regardless of the fact that the #8good' flock paper and vulgar graining made up a tout ensemble as utterly depressing as it was tasteless and absolutely without character4 ,but now1 ,i am glad to think1 what is already in one's possession governs in some measure what alterations are to be made1 and as fate never yet was so propitious as to put one down straight from one house into another which was exactly decorated to our taste1 we may be quite sure that there are many things to do to any place to which we may contemplate moving2 therefore ,i say if possible let the two leases1 i4e4 of your present and your future house1 run side by side for six weeks at least3 so shall you move comfortably1 and be able to make those alterations that are perfectly sure to be necessary4 ,a new house should never by any chance be entered in the ,september quarter2 it is astonishing what an amount of coal and reckless expenditure of gas is required to obtain even moderate warmth in a new house2 and furthermore most appalling discoveries are apt to be made1 as soon as the fires are lighted1 of the manner in which floors1 doors1 and window-frames are capable of shrinking the moment warmth penetrates the place2 these we can circumvent in summer1 but the winter is not a time to run any risks of discovering that the more we try to warm the house the wider open gape the cracks in all the woodwork1 and that nothing we can do will really warm a place1 more and more exposed as days go by to the four winds of heaven4 ,therefore1 if the future house has never been lived in1 enter it in ,june1 or even in ,march2 there will then be ample time to find out all faults in the structure before the winter arrives with all its concomitant miseries4 ,delightful ,mr4 ,aspinall1 for whose existence ,i can never be sufficiently thankful1 has made house decoration mere child's play compared to what it used to be2 and1 armed with his paints and a written description of what each room is to be like when done1 the foreman can be left to his own devices1 and the old house can be returned to with a safe conscience2 for if careful selection has been made of each paper and its own particular paint1 no risks are run of finding1 as ,i found when ,i made my last move1 that owing to the peculiar freaks of the painter there were seven shades of blue in my hall1 and another separate shade of the same colour in a bed-room that was designed for a gem1 and was becoming under the wretch's brush the exact shade of a butcher's apron1 which was his own idea of a complete match to the #8,berry' paper--really a good hedge-sparrow egg blue-green6 ,if only he had had ,aspinall's neat little tins1 ,i should not have had to stand over him all the time he mixed his paint1 and most of the time he was applying it1 and could not see at the last that he was wrong and ,i was absolutely right4 ,so if those about to move will leave their decorators instructions to use ,aspinall and nothing else1 they can be absolutely sure that their paint will be right1 and not a perpetual eyesore1 as it almost invariably is when left to the tender mercies of the ordinary decorator1 who considers he has an eye for colour1 and is as obstinate as half-educated people invariably are4 ,briefly1 then1 the first thing we have to do when we contemplate moving is to really make up our minds that such a step is absolutely necessary1 because no one who has never moved can understand the mental misery caused by tearing up one's roots even from an uncongenial soil2 secondly1 to carefully select a house likely to be our home for the rest of our lives2 thirdly1 to still more carefully choose and put in train a scheme of decoration that will harmonise in some measure with our cherished possessions2 and fourthly1 to endeavour not to be forced at the last to move hurriedly or into a new house in the winter4 ,once these details are remembered and enforced1 the real process of moving may begin1 and be got over as soon as the new house is ready for the inmates4 ,the mere move itself should be left entirely in the hands of the people employed4 ,personally1 ,i recommend for any one in the suburbs ,bachelar1 of ,croydon1 who moved our furniture most successfully in the south of ,england4 ,peace1 of ,bridgewater and ,bournemouth1 is equally to be commended4 ,unfortunately1 ,i know no one in the north1 but ,i have no doubt there are many firms there2 but in any case all should be written to1 and estimates should be carefully considered before definitely selecting any one from among their number2 but all one's belongings should be in covered furniture vans3 open vans or railway trucks are ruination1 and should never for one moment be used2 and no estimate which includes moving any of the #8goods and chattels' in open trucks should be considered seriously1 as even the roughest furniture suffers considerably by being carted about in this primitive manner1 and is spoiled to a far greater extent than the mere difference between the two kinds of conveyances would pay for4 ,the books and pictures should be packed first1 and unpacked last2 the carpets should be rolled up1 after a good shaking1 with camphor-bags inside1 even for the shortest transit2 the straw1 c41 used in packing them in the most carefully supervised vans having been proved a most comfortable home for small and teasing animals1 which1 discovering that carpets1 pillows1 and beds are warmer and more comfortable on the whole than straw1 forsake their habitations for eligible residences among our properties if we have not made them unbearable with camphor and a good sprinkling of ,keating's insect powder before they leave our hands4 ,each room-full of furniture should be placed ready to be again put down in the special room for which it is intended4 ,the carpets should remain rolled until the last of the movers is departed2 then after the floors have been most thoroughly scrubbed with carbolic soap1 the carpets should be well beaten1 and should be relaid if possible by the hands of some #8professional1' for on the proper laying of a carpet depends far more of the wear than we quite realise4 ,the best furniture mover cannot resist--please remember this6--the exquisite temptation to which he is exposed to stuff up odd corners1 and to prevent shaking by making #8buffers' out of our pillows1 cushions1 and odds and ends generally2 and as he furthermore has most excellent wrapping material in blankets1 small rugs1 and other similar trifles1 the amateur must come to the rescue of her goods1 or the professional packer will be much too strong for her4 ,in really well-organised and well-managed households each bed pillow and mattress should have its loose and washable cover sewn tightly over it of whitey-brown crash2 these covers should be washed every year--if possible1 every six months1 and if these are arranged for they will in a great measure protect our property from the dirt and certain amount of almost indispensable damage1 which would accrue to them were they left to the tender mercies of the remover1 who would at once use them as mentioned above1 and would not disdain to walk upon them cheerfully1 did they seem to require more pressing down than a mere arrangement with the hands would effect2 but if they are not so defended before the move is actually in progress1 these covers should be made1 or else great sheets of coarse crash1 such as is used for packing purposes1 should be strongly sewn round them1 or inevitably we shall have to send all the bedding to the upholsterers to be #8re-done'--i4e4 picked over and readjusted1 and the ticks washed also4 ,the blankets must be even more carefully protected4 ,i have seen them wrapped round iron bedsteads1 and large mirrors1 and with boots and even knives inside their folds1 and in any case they are ruthlessly annexed for packing purposes4 ,now to circumvent this ,i strongly advise that space should be left at the top of the box of each person inhabiting each separate room1 and into this space the folded blankets should go1 to be ready for use at once1 and to be out of the way of the #8ravagers4' ,the clothes that should have occupied the space in the box can be most safely left in the chests of drawers and wardrobes1 for #8personal property' of all kinds is invariably respected1 and not the most ruthless of packers would dream of enfolding grimy objects in body linen or even among the folds of heavy winter dresses4 ,these are invariably left exactly as one last placed them1 and are emphatically respected1 while even new blankets appear to have an irresistible attraction for them1 and are annexed at once1 while venerable ones suffer in the most appalling way conceivable4 ,it is absolutely impossible to move in anything like comfort or peace unless the juvenile members of the family and their nurses are #8boarded out4' ,it is astonishing how very kind people are to each other when this trying work is proceeding1 and there are few among us1 if indeed there are any1 who are not possessed of relatives1 or at least dear friends1 who will stretch their houses to the extent of taking in some of the children for the inside of a week2 but if there are none on whom we can rely1 the children should be sent to an hotel1 or lodgings should be taken for them for a week2 for if this is not done we should be quite sure to be driven mad by them1 by the utter helplessness of their nurses1 and by the certainty that we should have them all ill from the draughts1 the scrappy meals1 the uncertain hours1 and the thousand and one absolutely unpreventable events that are familiar to every mother1 and therefore need not be detailed here4 ,let us suppose1 therefore1 that our move is to commence on a ,tuesday1 an excellent day1 which leaves ,monday for our private packings1 for the men to pack the books1 china1 and ornaments 7the number of my possessions in these several ways always eliciting most amusing comments71 and for us to clear out the children and nurses2 these latter1 by the way1 should have carefully packed all the children's things the week before in boxes marked #8,nursery' in large chalk letters1 and should take with them to their lodgings only what is absolutely necessary4 ,we will then proceed up-stairs1 put all the blankets away as suggested just now1 see our garments are so bestowed that they are safe1 the silver and jewellery in the charge of the man-servant if there be one1 in the charge of the parlour-maid if there be none1 and then we should see placards are up in each room1 inscribed with the name of the room into which the things are to go2 and our task at the other end will be much simplified if we also attach labels to each very heavy piece of furniture1 taking care similar labels are already placed in a prominent position in the rooms they are intended for4 ,the packing of a big house takes about two days1 and on the evening of the first day two of the servants and one of the household1 the eldest daughter if possible1 should go on to the new house2 if1 however1 there is a long journey before them they should start almost as soon as the vans come1 as the first will arrive ,wednesday morning at the new abode1 and someone should be there to receive it4 ,the mistress and master should remain until ,wednesday night1 when they too should go on to the new abode1 travelling by night if necessary1 and the oldest and trustworthiest servant should be left to see the house is cleaned down by a couple of charwomen1 and to hand the keys to a representative of the landlord1 who should go over the house with an agent on the side of the remover to see all was left properly and undamaged by the out-going tenant2 then the maid or man could rest at a friend's house or at the local inn1 and join the rest of the party on ,thursday morning4 ,it is absolutely necessary that a separate hamper of food ready cooked and sufficient to supply the household for three days should be sent on with the first batch of domestics1 and the hamper should contain kettle1 cups and saucers1 plates1 and knives and forks1 besides the actual food4 ,the cook will not be able to be spared from putting her belongings in order to cook eatables1 but an ample supply is necessary2 for1 as all will be working hard1 all will require sustenance4 ,this hamper should be at once put into the larder in the new house1 the door locked1 and the key kept by the servant herself4 ,the contents of the servants' bedrooms1 the kitchen1 and one sitting-room1 and1 if possible1 one bedroom besides1 should be despatched first1 and as each article is brought in someone should seat herself on a camp-stool in the hall and should call out #8,dining-room1' #8,servants' bedroom1' #8,blue room1' or otherwise name its destination2 so will the movers avoid the pleasing sight1 that met my eyes when ,i moved last1 of the complete contents of three rooms placed higgledy-piggledy in the centre of one chamber1 heaped up like #8leaves in ,vallombrosa1' where the wretched painters were dawdling over their work still2 the painters who had caused this chaos by insisting that none of the other rooms were ready1 though none were as absolutely unfinished as that in which they had arranged this pleasing reception for me4 ,thank goodness1 my rage was so extreme that ,i turned them out neck and crop1 else1 verily1 ,i believe they would be here at this very moment2 but ,i always determined to use my own sufferings as a warning to others1 and ,i relate this experience in the hope that no one will attempt a move until the painters are out1 and unless they will manage it on the lines here laid down for them4 ,the men who move are always supposed to lay carpets1 hang pictures and curtains1 and replace the books in cases4 ,whenever money is a very great object--and1 in that case1 no move should be contemplated unless it were a matter of health or the bread-winner's change of employment--,i strongly advise that they should do nothing of the kind4 ,in the first place1 the carpets should not be placed until the last man has departed2 and in the second1 it is infinitely better to have not only a regular carpet-layer1 but a man accustomed to hang pictures and arrange brackets1 mirrors1 c4 ,i personally have a great many pictures and odds and ends1 and ,i have twice had a most excellent man from ,shoolbred's on these occasions1 who came properly provided with nails1 copper-wire1 and all necessary tools1 and who1 for a little under #cl41 quietly1 swiftly1 and skilfully placed the pictures1 c41 in their places1 with just a very little supervision from me2 for1 like all those who have no regular art education1 he had the usual mania for hanging everything ever so much higher than it ought to be--a mania ,i most successfully and promptly combated6 ,but beyond this1 and giving him a few directions as to the placing of the pictures in due order1 ,i left matters to him2 and in three days--for1 like an angel1 he remained his ,saturday half-holiday at my urgent request--all the walls were decorated and finished properly1 which they could not have been in double the time had ,i been forced to rely on the help of those in the house4 ,the china and books should be the last things arranged1 and this cannot be completed1 ,i fear1 in the week2 but1 thanks to my plan of short curtains and no blinds1 any window can be arranged in exactly ten minutes4 ,for1 of course1 the slight brass rods should be in place before the move begins2 and the carpets being square are laid in about half an hour each1 the carpet-layer going swiftly from room to room1 and the maids replacing the furniture1 with the help of a man1 as he leaves the room2 and as once curtains are up and carpets down the worst of the battle is over1 we may1 perhaps1 even arrange the china and books before ,sunday1 and so spend in truth a real day of rest4 ,i have all the decorative china arranged on a tiny folding-table we call a choir-table1 because it is brought into use for choir teas and other similar festivities1 and from this are picked out quickly and easily the distinctive pieces devoted to each room3 the book-shelves are up1 and then the books1 being packed in something like order1 are arranged1 and1 in consequence1 carefully done4 ,a move need never take more than ten days2 and it would be simply indefensible were not the house absolutely and completely straight in a fortnight2 and1 above all1 let the servants' apartments and the nurseries be put in order first4 ,servants1 as a rule1 are far less able1 both by temperament and education1 than we are1 to bear being #8put out of their ways1' and being over-worked and over-tired resent1 as no really trained and well-disciplined nature resents1 the small discomforts that we know will soon be entirely forgotten1 but that are apt at the time to cause friction1 and1 if not properly legislated for1 may even lose us a good and valuable servant4 ,and1 inasmuch as we have had an education and advantages1 and inherit in some cases the disciplined nature of forefathers and mothers equally disciplined and educated1 we must show that we have profited by these said advantages at such times as these2 and whereas we know that our maids have had none1 we should consider them1 and look after them much as we should after children1 being quite sure we shall be rewarded after our struggles by cheerful faces and willing arms1 that are twice as cheerful and willing as they would be did we not remember to tell them how tired they must be1 and to see they have extra food1 and a small amount of coddling even1 to carry them over the present stress of work4 ,the children should not return until one sees their rooms are dry and warm and straight4 ,this1 like all the rest of the move1 must be done by organisation1 and the rooms could be properly ready by ,saturday night2 but each maid must be told off to the different rooms1 and the mistress and her daughter 7and ,i do hope1 for her sake1 she may have that most invaluable of all possessions--a grown-up daughter7 must never relax their supervision1 else sundry gigglings and rompings about will hinder work1 and denote that1 like most young feminine creatures1 the maids are disorganised by the presence of the opposite sex1 and are endeavouring to combine amusement and work in a most unsatisfactory and impossible manner4 ,the master of the house1 poor creature6 will confine his energies in most cases to paying for the move1 or1 if he be very exemplary1 after arranging the wine-cellar he will see to the books and help with the pictures4 ,i have even heard rumours of men who are most useful and helpful at similar crises2 but as ,i have never yet found any male rise above the discomfort sufficiently to be of real use in the matter1 ,i must put down this as a mere rumour1 only hoping that it may be true4 ,he is1 however1 invaluable when it comes to managing the men who come to move1 and should be considered angelic if he does not grumble over his scrappy dinner1 or resent the fact that1 unless he can go to an hotel1 he is not likely to have any decent meals for at least three days--a fact a woman rather enjoys than deplores1 as she recognises that for those three days at least there are no orders to give and no regular planning of food to be done4 ,the first few days in a new house are replete with misery4 ,on the commencement of our tenancy we are literally besieged by the tradesmen coming to endeavour to secure our custom2 but we should be wise if from some friend we were to obtain a list of those who are really reliable1 until we are able to send round to the butchers1 and obtain lists of prices from all for comparison1 and have time to discover which of the local grocers will serve us at co-operative prices for ready money4 ,but under no circumstances do ,i advise allowing a grocer's man to call for orders3 a grocer's bill being the one of all others that is liable to swell to gigantic proportions4 ,the moment a daily visit is permitted1 the maids appear to rack their brains to see what they can order1 and ,i have saved myself at least five shillings a week since ,i put a veto on the daily call1 which seemed a signal for them to discover that hearthstones1 vinegar1 treacle1 and similar #8intangible' objects were required2 and by #8intangible' ,i mean articles that might be wanted1 as it is impossible to regulate the supplies of these as one can other goods2 and as ,i have had far less of all since ,i send a written order to either ,shoolbred or ,whiteley--whose men are not naturally in the least likely to press for orders1 and whose sole duties consist in bringing the things1 and receiving payment for the same--,i strongly recommend all housewives either to deal with them1 or to go to the local grocers themselves1 and at once impress on them that no orders given in the kitchen are to be attended to under any pretext whatever4 ,the tradesman difficulty is the first misery1 and then come the miseries of making acquaintance really with our house and surroundings4 ,we are sure to discover a thousand small vexatious omissions in the house itself1 and above all--#8miserere mei6'--will we see with dismay that the furniture which looked quite beautiful in our old home has suddenly1 and in the most unprovoked manner1 become absolutely shabby and miserable4 ,this is an unanswerable problem1 but it is a fact1 and ,i can only account for it by suggesting that the new paper and paint are to blame1 and that the sooner we get our furniture done up and rejuvenated the sooner shall we become reconciled to our new house2 but1 of course1 this costs money--at a time1 too1 when money has been flowing away a little too freely to be pleasant--and1 no doubt1 we may have to wait3 another reason why a move is trying1 and why1 like marriage1 it should never be undertaken lightly or unadvisedly2 and at first we must make the best of our surroundings1 being duly thankful for the square carpets and the light short curtains that save us so much piecing and planning1 and looking forward to new cretonne and tapestry as soon as we can afford it4 ,then comes the misery of making new friends2 and here ,i would say a word of warning to those who go to an entirely unknown place1 and have absolutely no introductions4 ,the best and nicest folk do not rush to call on new people unless they have some knowledge of them2 therefore wait a little and #8gang warily' before accepting as your fidus ,achates the first lady who enters your doors1 for doubtless her call is caused by curiosity1 and because she has but few acquaintances and wishes ardently to have more4 ,of course1 if you have an immense house and heaps of money1 everyone calls on the house and on your income1 and you can soon discriminate for yourselves who is likely to be desirable and who is not2 but the ordinary householder should be very cautious about the acquaintances she makes until she feels her feet1 and can find out somehow--it is from the clergyman and his wife generally--who is who1 taking care in her turn to tell enough of herself and her forbears to show that she is respectable at any rate1 and obtaining in due course the same sort of information about those with whom she is surrounded4 ,in ,london--dear1 lovely1 unsnobbish ,london--one can do absolutely as one likes about everything1 and nowhere is society as good as it is there4 ,in the country the very best society is dull4 ,in ,london one can meet with the only society worth having1 in my opinion3 the society of those who either in art1 literature1 science1 or politics have #8done something1' and are making the history of the world4 ,from this country folk are absolutely debarred3 another reason1 dear readers1 why ,i say live in ,london1 if you can in any way contrive to do so1 and do not leave it on any pretext whatever4 ,but as man must associate with his kind or perish1 no doubt there are compensating elements in country society that are evident to those who have lived among it all their lives4 ,at any rate1 we can live more unselfishly in the country1 and do more good to those of our poorer brethren than we can in these crowded streets1 where they are nothing to us save a probable source of infection1 and a certain source of annoyance and dread4 ,to sum up this chapter briefly1 then3 let no move be made1 unless such a course is absolutely imperative2 let it be done in order and with regularity2 and make no rushes into friendship in your new neighbourhood until you have discovered who is who1 and made due inquiries on this subject2 and1 above all1 under all circumstances1 if fate has absolutely obliged you to make that particular move1 make the best of it1 and don't always either mentally or openly contrast your present abode unfavourably and bad-temperedly with your last location4 ,you have to live where you have pitched your tent3 therefore1 bad as the place may appear to you1 try and smother your feelings until use has made you reconciled to your new surroundings1 even if #8home' has not asserted its charm and caused you to become fond of the place1 because your best and dearest are there with you4 ,it will be an effort1 ,i can assure you1 to do so1 but if you are strong-minded enough to suffer in silence1 you will be repaid for so doing a thousand-fold4 ,,chapter ,,ii4 ,,halls ,,and ,,passages4 ,the first part of the new house that should be attacked by the decorator's art is undoubtedly the hall3 and as undoubtedly it is here that the ordinary speculative builder surpasses himself2 for1 as a rule1 the moment one opens the front door one falls up the staircase1 or else one is confronted by a long1 hopeless passage1 which strikes a chill into the stoutest heart1 especially if the owner of that heart has not had much experience in the art of #8how to make the best' of a very bad state of affairs4 ,but in these days of ours nothing in the way of amelioration is impossible2 and1 indeed1 were ,i given carte blanche ,i would undertake to make the most hideous1 square1 #8impossible' house a bower of beauty4 ,that sounds very egotistical1 but ,i really do not mean it to be so2 ,i only should like to impress upon my readers that never before has so much attention been given to decoration of houses as is given now1 and that by the aid of carefully planned woodwork and by using arches on the plan of the ,moorish fretwork first introduced by ,liberty1 a square room can be made picturesque1 and a long narrow passage pleasant to contemplate1 by simply putting up a series of slight arches1 or else by curtaining off portions of it by aid of simple wooden partitions1 such as are illustrated on page #be4 ,i am very proud indeed of this sketch1 as it was made from a brilliant inspiration of mine for a house where the instant one opened the door leading into the street1 one was confronted by the stairs on one hand1 and a long uninteresting straight passage on the other2 and ,i was indeed pleased when ,i suddenly saw that a couple of arches could be cut out from what might have been a partition placed along the foot of the stairs from one side of the hall to the other1 and that the arch at the stair foot could be curtained by a double curtain or pair of curtains1 which would fall together when anyone raised it to go upstairs2 while the other arch could be draped either to the left or right with a heavy piece of material according to the position of the wall1 or whether there is anything in the way of a cupboard or door to be concealed4 ,treated in this way1 the ordinary tiresome little hall of a ,london house is metamorphosed1 at once1 and1 as the wooden framework can be so arranged that it can be screwed into the wall and so be made removable at will1 ,i am quite sure this notion of mine will #8catch on1' as the ,yankees say1 more especially as ,messrs4 ,wallace ,co41 of ,curtain ,road1 ,e4,c41 are willing to erect it ready painted and varnished at about #al4 a foot2 that is to say1 if the ,illustration3 ,,fig4 #a4--;,hall ,arrangement4 passage were six feet wide the arches would cost about #fl41 if twelve #abl41 and so on4 ,the arches could be enamelled to match the hall decorations1 and the curtains could be of some heavy material like the #8,elvira' tapestry1 or the beautiful jute velvet or ,bokhara plush1 which is undoubtedly the material for draping1 while even the humbler serge is not to be despised2 but in this case the curtain in the stair arch should be made double and very full1 a great deal of the appearance of this #8notion' depending on full graceful curtains and proper draperies4 ,it would even be possible in a hall arranged like this to have one of the hideous hat and coat rails which die so hard2 but even here ,i again repeat my warning against these monstrosities2 they can never look like anything save ,bluebeard's wives hanging up against the wall1 and are always a temptation to the gentle burglar or the common area sneak who delights to make off with coats and hats even if he can find nothing else2 but if the master of the house declines to allow himself to be educated up to keeping his garments out of sight1 he may be humoured by allowing him a place behind the hall curtain1 which should be then properly draped in such a manner that the coats and hats would be completely hidden2 a china or brass receptacle for umbrellas could be put on the other side of the convenient curtain also1 and so all these most undecorative items will be put out of sight1 thus causing the arches to be as useful as they are undoubtedly ornamental4 ,in many houses the staircase goes up at the side and does not face the front door1 and here1 too1 the arches come in with great effect4 ,i mean in those houses where there is a straight passage from the front door to a room opposite which faces the door and so ends the house2 in the passage there are usually two doors1 one on either side1 belonging to the dining and morning rooms1 the end room being often enough a small back room1 or1 as was the case in our house at ,shortlands1 even the drawing-room itself2 there the passage opens out on the right hand and discloses the staircase close by the door and a passage leading to the lavatory2 here the arches conceal the staircase at once and also the latter arrangement1 and make a decoration out of what is always to me a great eyesore4 ,in one case where the arches have been erected the passage led to the servants' pantry1 the door of which always stood invitingly open1 disclosing sink and washings-up generally to the eyes of the critical caller2 the curtain conceals all that now splendidly1 and the whole arrangement gives an idea of space and #8veiled possibilities' which is really marvellous4 ,when we came to our present abode the hall here struck me with dismay1 and it was some time before ,i could understand in the least what could be done with it2 it was exactly like a telescope1 with a hideous window at one end1 opening out on to several dead trees1 and what looked like the family washing1 with doors appearing just where such doors should be concealed1 and1 of course1 it had beautiful marble papers and graining and a brand-new dado of a dark and hideous design in varnished paper too2 the #8decorations1' however1 ,i did not consider2 but ,i racked my brains about the long1 narrow1 awful passage called by courtesy #8the hall1' and at last ,i had an inspiration4 ,i ran a wooden partition across1 about ten feet from the end of the place1 and behind that put in a hot and cold water arrangement1 and made it into a regular cloak-room2 opening out another door into that1 which previously opened out into a tiny passage leading into the fourth sitting-room1 which would have been absolutely unusable had not this been done2 and then1 by the aid of bent laths and a little plaster1 two arches were made in the passage1 draped1 one to the right1 the other to the left1 with a #8khelim1' looped with cords and tassels2 and so ,i obtained what old ,astley used to call a #8wister'--i4e4 a vista--and made a really decorated spot out of a most commonplace passage4 ,of course all the coats and hats are in the cloak-room1 and there is nothing in the hall itself save the buffet illustrated on next page1 which is in old oak1 and which always looks nice1 and forms a place where the cards of visitors can be placed1 or the letters from the post1 or other trifles2 a couple of chairs for emergencies1 the gong1 and one of ,mr4 ,pither's beautiful red pots on a bamboo stand holding one of the long-suffering ,aspidistras1 which will live in draughts1 and successfully bear uncomplainingly what would certainly kill at once any other plant1 completing the furniture of this so-called hall4 ,my readers will be amused to hear that since ,i wrote #8,from ,kitchen to ,garret' ,i have learned a very great ,illustration3 ,,fig4 #b4--,oak ,buffet4 many things2 indeed1 if ,i had not1 ,i should most certainly not be writing a second instalment of #8furniture literature4' ,however1 as one of these items is undoubtedly about the hall1 ,i am now going to mention it here at once4 ,reluctantly1 but emphatically1 have ,i come to the conclusion that where hard wear is expected it is absolutely necessary to have linoleum of some kind or the other on the floor4 ,of course a great many well-regulated households are provided with nice tiles1 which ,i can never look at without envy2 but as the majority of folks are not so highly favoured1 and as most households possess boys1 and many have dogs too1 ,i have regretfully discovered that1 if a house is to be kept clean and tidy1 the hall must have some material to cover it that can be washed daily1 and so can be perpetually and properly kept in order4 ,there is a particularly pretty linoleum made by the ,staines ,linoleum ,company in ,queen ,victoria ,street1 ,e4,c41 which resembles tiny squares of black and white marble1 which looks very well down4 ,of course it is a sham1 and as such is to be deprecated1 but ,i cannot help recommending it1 as it looks so clean and nice and bright1 and would do admirably in some halls2 while for those who will not allow any shams anywhere in their houses1 nothing looks so nice as the darkest brown self-coloured linoleum put down all over the passages and halls1 with some six-foot and even larger rugs about4 ,the rugs must be as large as possible1 as little rugs are apt to slip and move under the servants' feet4 ,they also have a most aggravating manner of turning up at the edges1 and becoming shabby2 while the large rugs will wear for years1 and stand really very hard wear too4 ,these are about #bhs4 at either ,maple's or ,treloar's1 and measure about three yards long by about one and a half yards wide4 ,i say about1 as none of these rugs seem to me to be exactly the same size2 but this is near enough to give my readers some idea of how many they would require if they elect to put them down in their halls4 ,the smaller rugs are about six feet long1 and about four wide4 ,these should have a wide binding sown on at the back1 top and bottom1 with a few shots1 or else those round leaden weights used in ladies' jackets1 underneath the binding to keep the ends down1 and prevent the curling which is so unsightly and tiresome in these small rugs1 and on damp hall-floors should be lined at the back with ,american leather4 ,linoleum should never be scrubbed with soap and water1 for this removes the pattern2 but should be rubbed with a wet house-flannel to remove the dirt1 and then polished with sour milk and water2 plain brown linoleum should be kept in order with linseed oil 7boiled7 and turpentine mixed4 ,this is specially required at first2 for1 like all materials which have no pattern on1 it shows every footmark1 and at first appears as if it were going to wear villainously2 but the oil and turpentine soon restore it1 and the rugs prevent the usual miserable effect of a plain material1 which--,i cannot think why--always wears badly if left to itself1 and invariably looks untidy and shabby almost before it is down2 therefore we may consider it an axiom that1 if we are not provided with a good tiled floor1 we cannot do better than have either the ,staines linoleum to simulate marble1 or the plain linoleum and rugs--this for preference4 ,the linoleum should be washed daily with a damp duster1 and the rugs shaken1 and once a week all should be cleaned with the linseed oil and turpentine2 this will double the wear1 and insure all marks being quite removed4 ,another thing which ,i have most certainly learned is1 that1 delightful as felt looks and feels1 and that beautiful as are the colours in which it is made1 it is absolutely worthless for real wear4 ,i had it laid down in the ,watford house1 when we went there1 all over the halls and passages1 and on the stairs too1 and was quite delighted with the soft1 warm feel thereof1 and the appearance was equally pleasing2 but we had not been there six months before that wretched stuff became the curse of the household2 every single drop of water1 every thread1 or morsel of dust1 every footmark showed2 and from morning until night something had to be done in the shape of brushing and dusting1 and1 even then1 we were never clean and never tidy4 ,and then1 in addition to its other sins1 if the abominable material did not begin to go into holes2 all along the edges of the stairs tiny white spots showed where the under felt was working through1 and before a year was out all the wretched stuff had to be removed1 and replaced in the hall with dark brown linoleum and rugs2 and on the stairs by ,pither's beautiful dark-blue blossom-patterned ,brussels carpet1 which after a year's hard wear looks really better than it did the first day it was put down2 and ,i can never understand how anyone can ever recommend felt1 as ,i am convinced it is absolutely worthless as a floor-covering1 and that nothing can make it at all satisfactory2 and as ,i still see it in shops1 and notice it pressed on the attention of those about to furnish1 ,i consider it my duty to warn my readers against it1 for if they succumb to its fascinating appearance1 they will inevitably suffer from its possession in the same way that ,i did4 ,another thing ,i most strongly advise my readers to possess themselves of1 if in any way they can1 is a really good stair-carpet4 ,there should be no fidgety border or differently coloured pattern on them to attract the eye and tease the brain1 but there should be merely a simple pattern in the lighter shade on a darker ground2 this always looks well1 and at the same time does not tire one as an accentuated pattern invariably does4 ,i therefore recommend ,pither's excellent ,brussels and ,wilton pile carpets1 #bg inches wide1 the one at #ds4 #f;d41 the other at #gs4 #c;d4 the yard1 for they are absolutely faultless1 both in design and colour1 and can be as absolutely relied on both for wear and appearance4 ,wallace ,co4's #8,stella' ,brussels at #cs4 #aa;d4 would be nice1 if expense is a very great object1 and their ,burmese carpet with a design on is also to be recommended1 and no one can go wrong about their stair-carpets if they make a judicious selection from these four qualities and designs4 ,i am perpetually asked for a really good artistic and satisfactory carpet at a very low price1 but ,i as often reply1 ,you might as well ask me to supply you with a really good diamond necklace for a few shillings1 for such a thing does not exist4 ,you can get very artistic-looking carpets for a little money2 the ,burmese carpet is ridiculously cheap and very satisfactory1 but for real hard wear ,brussels or pile must be chosen1 and for a really good thing one must always pay2 and it is far cheaper in the long run to buy what is really good than to be perpetually vexed at the wear and tear which invariably surprises and annoys us1 come when it may4 ,i therefore very strongly advise all who can to invest in really good stair-carpets1 even if they content themselves with something far less expensive for the other rooms4 ,then1 too1 ,i should much like to impress on my readers that the hideous glass one usually finds ready for one1 either each side of the front door1 or else as elaborate fanlights over the doors in the passage1 should be removed and replaced by cathedral glass in leaded squares1 or by bottle-ends4 ,if1 however1 this is impossible1 though the expense is not great1 and the effect thereof is admirable1 let the grained and patterned glass be covered by a really excellent imitation of the cathedral glass4 ,this is to be obtained from ,graham ,biddle1 ,graham ,house1 ,oxford ,street1 ,w41 and is floated on glass in the same manner in which the ancient and much despised #8decalcomanie' used to be managed1 and really has quite a surprising effect2 a third way would be to remove the glass and replace it with quite plain1 clear glass1 covered inside by a fluted curtain of good ,madras muslin1 in really artistic colours4 ,no one who has not risen in rebellion against the builder's arrangement of starred or patterned glass can imagine how immensely any place is improved by removing it altogether and replacing it with something else2 and though this may appear a trifle to write about1 ,i can assure you that it is only by strict attention to such trifles that one can produce an artistic whole1 which shall be entirely and absolutely satisfactory in every way4 ,and1 after all1 these small matters cost far less than the elaborately draped curtains1 the fitted carpets1 the giant sideboards1 and the other expensive monstrosities against which ,i am always waging war4 ,to be really perfect1 the hall should be a square space in the centre of the house1 where a big fire could blaze in winter1 and masses of flowers could greet the incoming guest when dear1 delightful summer makes fires unnecessary2 and naturally such a hall would require very different treatment to the ordinary long and narrow passage2 but if the staircase sweeps out of the hall ,i should still suggest my arches here4 ,they would hide the stairs--never very lovely objects at the best of times--and obscure the glimpses of ascending and descending legs1 which1 especially in the long-dead days of crinolines1 made going up or down stairs a penance indeed to any one who had to perform the ascent and descent in the face of a numerous company gathered in the hall1 besides which a sense of snugness would be given to the whole place1 which it could never have were that open space left unprotected1 stretching up into the air6 ,as a rule1 the square hall should be treated1 as far as mere wall-decoration goes1 in the same manner as the passages which lead out of it are treated1 but here it would be quite in character1 were fresh colours introduced1 or the style of decoration reversed3 that is to say1 if the dado1 which is imperative in a narrow passage1 were replaced by the same decoration used as a frieze1 taking care only that the colours should harmonise3 for example1 supposing the passages themselves were decorated in brown and gold1 the brown being the #8,kenesaw' design printed on real brown paper by ,essex ,co41 ,albert ,mansions1 ,victoria ,street1 ,s4,w41 at five shillings and sixpence the piece1 the dados being of a really good and strong gold ,japanese leather paper1 the inner or square hall could be papered in the same manner1 using1 however1 the ,japanese gold paper as a frieze2 the frieze-rail could be ,giles' picture and china rail1 holding big jugs and blue and white china of all kinds1 and thus a charming effect would be obtained suitable for the squareness of the hall1 and yet harmonising absolutely with the passages which lead out of it4 ,in such a hall as this the ceiling should be divided into squares2 this can be done quite easily nowadays by a series of laths or mouldings made on purpose2 this is nailed into the laths above the ceiling with long thin nails4 ,a very good moulding made on purpose is sold by ,messrs4 ,haines ,co41 #hc ,queen ,victoria ,street1 ,e4,c41 at about one penny a foot1 and the squares thus made are filled either with a good ceiling paper or else by an admirably decorative material1 exactly like moulded plaster1 also sold by ,haines1 and called anaglypta2 this costs about #bl4 for a good-sized ceiling1 and when up all should have a coat of ivory silicate paint1 or else of the invaluable and admirable ,aspinall enamel1 also in ivory1 for though builders may argue1 and decorators implore1 for a heavier and more ornate system of treating the ceiling and cornice1 ,i cannot too emphatically condemn any colouring being introduced into the ceiling and surrounding plaster work in lines1 and distracting contrasts of colour1 thus bringing the ceiling down on our heads1 depressing one dreadfully1 and all too often bringing into notice much which would be better left to obscurity4 ,but my readers must not imagine from the above that ,i am recommending for one moment the ordinary ugly white-wash1 the mere appearance of which ruins any room1 or that ,i am ceasing to love the much-recommended papered ceiling--indeed ,i am not4 ,colour of some kind is necessary there as well as anywhere else1 but the colour must be ivory1 or faint terra-cotta1 green1 blue1 or yellow1 and must not be daubed on by the heavy hand of the decorator revelling in golds1 and reds1 and blues in bewildering confusion1 and even introducing dreadful real or imitation oak beams1 all well enough in houses where they are part of the fabric1 and have the sentiment and beauty of age to defend their existence1 but absolutely indefensible in an ordinary ,london house or small suburban villa1 as indefensible as is old oak furbished up in ,tottenham ,court ,road and made ghastly with sticky1 varnished paint or stain1 when placed in a house that has the nineteenth century and speculative builder written large all over it1 in the bulging walls1 its vilely drawn lines1 and its rawness and newness and vulgarity of style4 ,for it is no use attempting to have a pretty house unless we are absolutely strong-minded1 and begin by forbidding the decorator to do anything but what he is told to do2 and it is much wiser to write down exactly at the commencement of our decorations #8precept on precept1' #8line upon line1' #8word by word1' for each room1 exactly what we wish the room to be arranged like1 putting on paper the name and number of the wall paper1 the colour of the paint1 and in fact every single thing1 so that at the end there can be no mistake2 and above all we must not be persuaded out of our own ideas by the builder or by the upholsterer1 or by anyone at all1 once we have made up our minds what we intend to have1 for we may be quite sure that if we are we shall repent it for ever after4 ,i am often much disappointed to find1 after ,i have taken real and elaborate pains to tell people exactly how their houses should be decorated1 that they have allowed themselves to be talked over by the builder or the decorator1 and that in consequence ,i am again sent for 7at double the expense of course71 to tell them how to get over1 or in some measure mitigate the horrors that have been perpetrated4 #8,it is such a nuisance to run from shop to shop getting all the different papers1' says one1 #8and the builder had almost the same sort of design in his book1 and said his hung much better than those you recommend4' #8,oh6 we hadn't time1' says another1 #8and so we left it to the builder1 and now1 please1 dear ,mrs4 ,panton1 do help us again1 for the house does look horrid1 and we cannot think why1' and of course ,i go1 and could weep1 really weep1 over the waste of money1 time1 and material which would all have been saved had they handed the builder my written plan of decorations and told him that that1 and that only1 was to be the order for the work4 ,and decoration is really so easy nowadays1 that1 like moving1 it need only be done slowly and in order to be an absolute success4 ,all that is required from the builder is the plan of each room1 you then write to the paper manufacturer for as many pieces of paper at so much1 so many yards for the dados or frieze2 this is ascertained by simply measuring round the room with a tape2 to ,aspinall for so much paint 7a gallon at #bes4 does quite a large room71 and then having collected your materials set to work4 ,the painter has not to exercise his genius 787 or discretion 787 at all1 he has simply to do as he is told2 and1 this being understood1 one is spared the endless discussions with the builder1 who wants to sell you some of the reams of hideous paper he has bought wholesale1 and for a mere song1 at a clearing-out sale of the #8,chamber of ,horrors' of some paper-manufacturer1 and who makes a great parade of the printed prices at the back of the sheets1 trusting that you are innocent of the knowledge that on all papers the regular discount is #cc per cent41 and that his own particular stock has been purchased at almost waste-paper prices1 because the manufacturer was only too pleased to get rid of what ordinary upholsterers and decorators had absolutely refused to take up2 and who is persuasive and pleading1 and finally impertinent1 when he discovers he has an adept to deal with1 and not one of the numerous victims erstwhile so easily bullied or fatigued into putting up almost anything he shows them in order to get rid of and see the last of him4 ,i think the hall and passage are good spots in which to once more enforce the above details1 for all should be done at the beginning1 at the entrance as it were1 or else the worry and disappointments will be endless2 therefore ,i cannot consider the disquisition in which ,i have indulged out of place1 and ,i feel ,i cannot too much or too often impress on my readers the absolute necessity of being sure what they want themselves before sending for the decorator2 he must only be the hands to execute the work2 and he must be absolutely silent about colours and patterns of paper if the house is to be a success at all4 ,there are several other schemes of decoration that are absolutely successful in a hall1 which were not spoken of in #8,from ,kitchen to ,garret1' and which can be mentioned here before passing away from the hall altogether1 although there are several things still to be said about it2 and1 indeed1 as in all that regards decoration1 it is an absolutely inexhaustible subject1 as new and pretty things appear daily1 and good combinations of colour are constantly suggesting themselves to the decorative mind4 ,for the ordinary long dark passage1 ,i would suggest that yellow and white should be used1 nut-brown taking the place of white should there be very much traffic in the place1 or should there be necessity for a certain amount of economy2 very small halls look nice with ,pither's #8special' yellow and white berry paper1 at #bs4 a piece2 a matting dado in plain white with all ivory paint1 and ,maple's yellow and white ceiling paper1 at #d;d4 a piece2 the matting dado being replaced by ,liberty's nut-brown arras cloth1 at #i;d4 a yard1 and all #8nut-brown' paint1 where it is considered desirable to have a darker arrangement than would be obtained by the ivory and white4 ,the arras is very wide1 #ed inches1 and would in consequence cover a much larger wall-space than the matting does1 neither is it so difficult to manage as is matting1 but both should be secured at the bottom by upholsterer's tacks1 and at the top by a light wooden rail1 sold by ,haines1 of #hc ,queen ,victoria ,street1 ,e4,c41 at something under #a;d4 a foot4 ,this should be screwed to the wall1 and could be removed1 arras1 or matting and all at any time1 which it could not be were ordinary nails employed1 and a simple 7and hideous7 paper dado could replace the more expensive #8properties1' were the owner to remove and wish to take the dado with him1 a plain paper-dado and a tidy wall being all that could be demanded of him by his landlord2 beauty and stheticism are not in the bond that exists between him and his tenant4 ,another arrangement would be ,pither's beautiful #8,buttercup1 ,c1' at #cs4 a piece1 and yellow matting dado1 and all #8,mandarin' paint1 and a ceiling paper in red and cream2 the #8berry1' at #as41 would do quite well with either of these schemes4 ,pither's dull red pile carpet would be best for the stairs2 and a good many ,oriental rugs should be about the hall4 ,any draperies over the doors should be the dull red #8,elvira' tapestry1 sold by ,wallace1 or of ,mandarin yellow serge1 this1 of course1 being much cheaper than the #8,elvira' brocade1 which is #is4 #f;d41 as against the #as4 #aa;d4 of the ever useful serge4 ,if yellow should be objected to--and nothing is so useful or so successful in a dark passage--blue should be the next colour to be thought about1 and ,liberty's blue tulip damasque is a most valuable paper for a blue hall4 ,this is only #bs4 a piece1 and #8hangs' splendidly1 and a very original effect would be produced by this paper1 a high dado of red and gold leather paper1 and all dull red paint2 the red of the paint to match the curious dull-lacquered appearance of the red in the ,japanese leather paper2 the stair carpet should be red1 and the ceiling paper yellow and white2 as a rule ,maple's ceiling paper1 at #d;d4 a piece1 is quite good enough for anything2 but if people do not mind spending a little more money1 ,haines has a charming ceiling paper at #cs41 in yellow and white1 which1 being of a more geometrical and better design in every way1 would be perfect for ceilings1 although1 as ,i said before1 where money is an object1 the yellow and white ceiling paper is all that is absolutely necessary1 and really answers remarkably well4 ,should a red hall be desired1 ,pither's #8,buttercup1 ,b1' at #bs4 #f;d41 cannot be improved upon4 ,cream or else #8,scindered' paint should be used2 a red and white matting for the dado1 not a check matting1 but one which has a red line in it1 and dark blue art carpet on the floor1 blue and white ceiling paper--,maple1 #d;d4 a piece4 ,any draperies should be either blue or red1 and the ever-useful ,khelims would show off admirably in a house arranged and decorated in this way1 for their ,eastern colourings would appear to advantage against the red and cream walls4 ,this is a bold decoration1 but one that looks extremely well1 as does even a bolder arrangement1 consisting of the #8,buttercup1 ,b1' all malachite-green stained woodwork1 a dull green matting dado1 ,burr ,elliott's 7,oxford ,street1 ,w47 dull green cocoa-nut matting on the hall and stairs1 dull green and white ceiling paper1 and draperies of malachite-green serge4 ,all the furniture should be ,armitage's stained green wooden furniture1 his high-backed little settle being particularly adapted for use in a hall1 where no more furniture should be allowed than is absolutely necessary1 unless the hall can1 by reason of its size and design1 be used as a room1 and treated and furnished like one4 ,i cannot and never do recommend either a terra-cotta or real green wall2 the latter is such a nondescript and uncertain colour that the use of it in the entrance appears to me to strike the keynote to the character of the inhabitants1 who are thus pronounced uncertain in their ideas1 and not particularly satisfactory1 and there are so many #8builder's horrors' in the shape of dull1 gloomy terra-cotta papers that inexperienced folks are apt to buy simply because the pure word #8terra-cotta' implies to a certain class of mind that the paper is artistic and high art1 that ,i am impelled to taboo terra-cotta altogether at once2 but if ,liberty's #8tulip' and #8marigold' damasque papers are bought a terra-cotta wall may be indulged in1 though ,i can never pronounce this as totally satisfactory as are the red1 blue1 and yellow and brown walls4 ,if the terra-cotta is selected1 ,i advise ivory paint2 if that cannot be indulged in1 a shade of dull green should be chosen to harmonise with the terra-cotta1 and the dado should be either green matting or else of green and gold 7dull green and gold1 please67 ,japanese leather paper2 the stair carpet should be green1 and so should the draperies and ceiling paper4 ,a green wall could be arranged by using ,liberty's green and silver #8tulip' damasque1 at #bs41 and dull green paint1 and a pale green matting dado1 ,pither's dark red carpet1 and dark red draperies1 the red and cream #8berry' for ceiling1 or else terra-cotta draperies1 and the #8,stella' stair carpet from ,wallace4 ,this hall would be artistic2 but a cooler effect1 and one that would be specially adapted for a hot hall1 one into which much sun pours1 would be obtained by using the green and silver paper1 sea-green paint1 and all pale green draperies1 and a green carpet1 using white and green muslin on the windows1 and any white and green china to hold flowers and plants that one can find4 ,once the papering and painting are done and the stair-carpets are down and the draperies are up1 serious attention must be given to the trifles which appear scarcely worth seeing to1 but on which depend so much1 and which ,i have spoken about in the beginning of this chapter2 for it is of no use to put charming papers on our walls if we leave hideous glass in the doors1 or allow our staircase windows to glare at us with strips of yellow1 blue1 and red glass for edges round a starred centre1 in a manner found even in these artistic days in houses where people should presumably know better2 and ,i therefore repeat my advice to my readers to look out for the trifles1 and never to rest until all they possess has some beauty to excuse its existence4 ,perhaps the most tiresome thing in the orthodox hall is the ordinary long staircase window2 but this can be improved at very small cost if a little artistic talent is brought to bear upon it4 ,if it can be afforded in any way the window can be made beautiful by filling it in with cathedral glass in leaded squares1 and about three or four really good medallions in stained glass could be hung about4 ,these can be procured from ,mr4 ,pither1 #ch ,mortimer ,street1 ,regent ,street1 ,w4 ,a wide shelf should be placed at the bottom of the window1 and china could be arranged there4 ,on the landing could be placed a tall grandfather clock1 in such a way that the face faces the hall1 and1 if there is room1 a big palm in a stand adds much to the effect4 ,this would obviate any necessity for draperies1 always rather difficult to keep clean in this exalted situation4 ,if this arrangement is too expensive1 a wooden arch should be placed round the top of the window1 and the woodwork should taper down each side to the bottom of the window 7illustrated in ,fig4 #c71 and a soft silk drapery should be caught up on one side4 ,this is confined by a cord1 passed over a nail1 which can be loosened by releasing the cord2 the curtain then falls over the windows1 and either obscures the sunshine or the darkness1 according to whether it is lowered at night or day1 although ,i should personally prefer to leave it draped and to hang a lamp up in the arch1 which could be lighted at night4 ,plants or china could be arranged along the ledge1 and make a charming picture out of what is usually an intensely ugly spot4 ,another great difficulty is the usual ,london landing half-way up-stairs1 where sometimes a couple of chairs are put1 on which no one ever sits1 flanked by a table no one ever dusts or by a couple of palms everyone forgets to water4 ,here a really clear brain is required to cope with the difficulties2 and ,i have had a sketch done by a friend of mine1 who has made a perfectly charming corner out of this generally hideous spot1 which ,i hope will speak for itself1 and shows what can be made out of a similar landing with trouble and a good deal of really artistic feeling4 ,in this same house the second door to the drawing-room1 which is never used and only looks frightful to those who come up the stairs and see this door first of all1 is turned into a cabinet1 where various old-fashioned fans and curiosities ,illustration3 ,,fig4 #c4--,staircase ,window4 ,illustration3 ,,fig4 #d4--;,a ,london ,landing4 generally are kept1 the sunken space between the wall and the door itself being amply deep enough for this purpose2 and as all doors can be made to open into a room1 the deep space can always be on the passage side1 the flat side being in the room itself and hidden by a straight curtain1 or1 by a still simpler process1 by taking off all the mouldings1 handles1 c41 and papering straight over the door1 just as if it were a portion of the wall itself4 ,the simple over-doors1 sold by so many furniture houses nowadays1 should be placed over the doors1 in most houses1 in the hall1 or else pictures should be hung there2 and1 indeed1 one cannot have too many good pictures anywhere4 ,if real paintings and excellent proof engravings are not to be afforded1 do let me beg of my readers to indulge themselves in autotypes or photographs from really good pictures4 ,these look specially well in a hall1 and naturally do not serve as dust traps1 as do far too many of the ,japanese ornaments1 fans1 skins1 and trophies of the chase1 which are usually considered appropriate to this remarkably dusty and trying situation4 ,pictures can be dusted daily2 other ornaments require more time and attention1 though naturally one would rather have these than nothing1 if one cannot afford pictures1 in this spot1 while the over-doors finish off the hall1 and can have the five or six china ornaments1 which look well and can be regularly dusted with a long feather brush and duly washed once a week when the hall is entirely turned out4 ,i most strongly advise the hall to be warmed in some way if it can possibly be managed1 and ,i must own that ,i never can understand why houses are built year after year without this simple but most important convenience4 ,one need not use a stove because one has it1 but it should never be out of one's power to thoroughly warm the house should one wish to do so1 and ,i look forward to a day ,i have often spoken of1 when women shall qualify as architects1 and shall turn their hands entirely to domestic architecture4 ,until then ,i suppose we must go on grumbling and putting up with grateless halls1 cupboardless houses1 and rooms where no provision at all has been made for placing a bed or arranging furniture with common sense1 to say nothing of artistic grouping1 that of course is absolutely impossible in the ordinary square recessless house with which we are now so very liberally provided by the male architect6 ,but if in any way possible have a grate put into the hall1 or else some kind of stove2 of course a grate means a chimney1 and this is not always forthcoming when wanted1 but a grate is much to be preferred2 in the first place it can mean a pretty mantel and over-mantel1 and cheerful blazes in winter1 and pretty flowers in summer2 and in the second1 the warmth it gives is separable from the fumes and stuffy feeling that one always finds with a stove1 no matter how good it is4 ,then1 too1 a stove is hideous1 it can't help being so1 and it is frankly frightful2 still1 if warmth cannot be got into a hall in any other way1 a stove must be used1 and ,i think the one sold by ,mr4 ,pither in ,mortimer ,street1 the #8,eclipse1' is as good as any2 it burns a long time without any attention1 and costs very little indeed--,i think something like twopence for the twelve hours4 ,the reason why ,i impress upon my readers the necessity of a stove is that ,i cannot believe but that we should be saved an immense amount of illness were we yet more particular about an equal temperature than we are4 ,as a rule our rooms are fairly warm1 but in the winter our passages are like ice1 they cannot help being so2 windows must be opened and the outer doors cannot be kept hermetically sealed1 and the moment we leave our fireside or the rooms where we have fires1 we get a sudden chill which cannot fail to try us terribly1 even if it results in nothing worse2 besides which a fearful cold draught comes into our sitting-room the moment the doors are open1 and we shiver and throw on more coal--coal that we should not require were the hall warmed as it ought to have been1 and which would allow us to even leave our sitting-room door open should we desire to do so4 ,now our first exclamation to an incoming friend is3 #8,oh1 please shut the door6' and we dismiss him or her with the same pleasing but necessary injunction4 ,i was delighted to see in one of the papers the other day that there had been a most remarkable diminution in that fatal scourge of our ancestresses--consumption2 for ,i am certain this is entirely due to the fact that we are far more sensible about our clothing1 and much more lavish about firing1 than our fathers used to be2 and ,i feel convinced1 were we to have still more fires1 and were we to taboo low ,illustration3 ,,fig4 #e4--;,hall ,wardrobe 7,no4 #a74 ,illustration3 ,,fig4 #f4--;,hall ,wardrobe 7,no4 #b74 dresses entirely1 consumption would soon be a thing of the past4 ,therefore ,i cannot1 ,i feel1 say too much about the necessity for a stove or fire in the hall1 which is certainly neither complete nor sensible without this most necessary piece of furniture2 but ,i suppose we must await our lady architect before these are universal1 or before we get a really perfect house1 from a woman's point of view at least4 ,the furniture of the hall must depend entirely on its length and breadth1 but once more ,i beg my readers not to allow of anything approaching the appearance of the ordinary ugly hat stand there2 if ,edwin will not remove his hideous hats and very ugly coats upstairs1 ,angelina must conciliate him by having one of the hall wardrobes illustrated here4 ,the first one could go into a corner behind the door1 and could be painted to match the decorations1 or else could be of either ,american walnut or oak2 the curtains could be of serge worked over in a decorative design in coarse crewels1 or else of some pretty tapestry4 ,complete in art colours with serge curtains it costs #cl4 #cs41 in walnut #dl4 #ahs4 #f;d42 the straight one costs #el4 #aes4 in art colours1 and #fl4 #fs4 in walnut2 but for the impecunious1 and1 alas6 there are many among us1 a ,v-shaped piece of wood could be put into the corner and screwed there with a straight piece to make a front1 from which the curtain should hang down straight2 behind this a ,v-shaped shelf could be placed for hats1 and some hooks could be screwed on the wall for coats2 but if in any way possible the real thing should be bought--it could be moved to any other house and would last a life-time4 ,these designs are made by ,wallace of the ,curtain ,road1 where these capital hall wardrobes are to be had1 and which will1 ,i trust1 strike a death-blow to the old-fashioned stands1 which were as ugly as they were temptations to the ordinary area-sneak to come in and help himself to any coat or hat he takes a fancy to4 ,instead of the ordinary hall table ,i again suggest the buffet1 illustrated on page #bh2 nothing looks better1 and if a carriage is kept the oak chest1 which can be opened like a cupboard1 could hold the rugs1 while the top could be ornamented with china and hold a big ,imari bowl for cards1 and a smaller one for the cards left during the afternoon or letters sent by post2 a couple of chairs and the high-backed settle spoken of before would be ample for any ordinary hall1 where there should be1 furthermore1 a good mat at the front door1 but no small mats in each doorway or dreadful woolly mats about1 things which are quite unnecessary and are as ugly as they are tiresome4 ,it is absolutely necessary that1 whether artistic or not1 the hall should be scrupulously tidy and as scrupulously clean2 and ,i do not know a more difficult thing than to insist on the former of these two axioms1 and to see one's orders are carried out1 especially when there are boys and dogs--those two fatal elements to tidiness and cleanliness1 but which are absolutely necessary to the making of a complete house4 ,one may go out leaving a spotless place1 with no dbris to offend the eye1 but one returns to find it scattered over with hats and caps1 tennis rackets1 bats and stumps1 paw and footmarks1 and a general air of distracting dirt all over1 that is absolutely trying to the eye1 that fondly hopes to see what it left2 and the only way to cope with the human element is to make a species of pound1 into which all is put1 and from whence nothing can be extracted without the payment of some small fine4 ,i have known a week's pocket money go in one morning1 but1 as a rule1 very few lessons are required2 the unfailing exactment of a fine teaching even a boy that there is a place for everything and that everything must be put in that place4 ,the dogs and footmarks have to be put up with1 and ,i have known an unhappy kitchenmaid wash the front doorsteps five single times in one day1 when the boys have been at home1 and rain has1 as is usual in ,watford1 been falling dismally4 ,a back staircase is another thing no house should be built without4 ,this spares the hall immensely1 and saves the best stair-carpet1 and prevents one meeting the servants as one goes up and down--a thing ,i personally very much object to4 ,i don't know why1 but ,i resent hearing them go up to bed past the drawing-room door1 and owe our present house yet another grudge1 because1 for the first time in our lives1 we have here no second staircase4 ,if there should be one1 ,i again advise the oilcloth dado spoken of in my former book2 nothing is so absolutely indestructible1 or so clean1 and with this dado a wall would remain tidy and spotless for an entire lifetime4 ,a strong cocoanut matting should be put down on the stairs themselves1 but the edges of the stairs should be carefully inspected1 as back stairs1 especially1 are apt to be very roughly finished off2 if this is the case1 a carpenter should be called in1 either to plane them smoothly1 or mend them1 or a wide1 broad piece of brass should bind the edges2 these1 again1 should have a pad of flock in a thin lining laid along them1 finally covered with the cocoanut matting4 ,these small precautions will not cost very much1 but will certainly add immensely to the chances of the longevity of the carpets4 ,it would be a good thing to have the #8treads' of the back stairs grained and varnished2 but those in the principal staircase should always be painted white with ,aspinall's water-paint4 ,this gives an indescribably clean and fresh look to the stairs1 and the paint is so easily applied that the housemaid could do it herself yearly1 or whenever an opportunity offers to re-paint the treads4 ,housekeepers should1 in my opinion1 raise a statue to ,aspinall1 for he certainly has removed the difficulties that lay in wait for the would-be artistic mistress of the household2 for now she is rendered quite independent of the ,british workman1 and can either paint her house herself1 or give it to a man who can be trusted to apply the paint1 albeit no amount of instruction will teach him to match a colour or produce anything save a hideous caricature of the paper we give him1 and whose #8heye' is absolutely incapable of seeing what a ridiculous muddle he is making2 and ,i1 therefore1 cannot too often impress upon my readers1 especially on those who live far from really artistic workpeople1 that if they want their houses to be really nice1 they must indulge in ,aspinall1 and must insist on the unbroken1 unpicked-out surface of paint that use of this most invaluable enamel produces most satisfactorily4 ,,chapter ,,iii4 ,,nooks ,,and ,,corners4 ,i think so very much of the appearance of our rooms depends on how we arrange our corners that ,i have had two large drawings made from corners in my present house1 which1 at the risk of appearing egotistical1 ,i am going to write about2 not because ,i consider them perfect--no house can really be perfect unless far more money is spent upon it than ,i am able to spend--but because ,i consider they will in some measure assist those who1 like myself1 are very fond of pretty and comfortable things1 but are not prepared to ruin themselves in order to obtain this most desirable combination4 ,i wrote so fully in my former book on the arrangement of sitting-rooms that ,i am only going to touch lightly on the orthodox papering and painting of dining-1 drawing-1 and morning-rooms1 reserving all my new ideas for the billiard-room and library1 neither of which rooms were considered likely to be required for the modest young couple starting in life1 for whom ,i more particularly designed that special volume4 ,as ,i said before1 this book is intended for older folks1 or for those who have more of this world's goods than ,edwin and ,angelina were supposed to possess2 and1 therefore1 it really supplements--it does not in any measure do away with--#8,from ,kitchen to ,garret2' and as ,i am most anxious to impress this upon my readers by not repeating any of the information ,i gave there1 ,i intend especially in the present chapter to denote how1 with a little care1 the modest house can be expanded into a more artistic abode1 or how a bigger house can be furnished1 the while we do not set on one side the furniture with which we began life1 and which we possessed ourselves of with so much gladness and with such a sense of importance--at least1 ,i hope all my readers did1 for the culture of home and of all that makes a home cannot1 in my opinion1 be too much developed4 ,therefore1 from their earliest days children should be encouraged to think about their own special rooms1 and should be taught to notice and have a voice in the arrangement of all the house4 ,if the house is thoroughly appreciated and cultivated1 if1 above all1 it is the prettiest and happiest place our children know of1 we shall not have much difficulty with them when they cease to be children and begin to feel they have a separate existence to ours4 ,they have this separate existence1 and we should endeavour that1 without in any measure relaxing the ties of duty and politeness1 they should be able to feel they are themselves and not our bond-slaves2 and this can only be done by consulting and talking with them freely about all we have and do1 letting them1 if they will1 develop their own tastes gradually1 but not in a manner that will oust us from our proper place or jar with any of our own pet ideas on the subject of home and its decoration and embellishment2 for it is better to endure the ugliest place in the world cheerfully than to live in artistic completeness1 if this same artistic completeness means sweeping away all the landmarks of our elders and betters1 and leaving them stranded in an unfamiliar world of new tables and chairs1 which are nothing to them1 and but ill replace the furniture which reminds them of so much that we never knew about or have entirely forgotten4 ,i have known a girl in her zeal for beauty make her mother so abjectly miserable by removing a round table1 once the centre of the scattered houseful of boys and girls1 and by ruthlessly disposing of clumsy and hideous furniture1 made precious by memories of those who have gone into the land of shadows1 that ,i am compelled at times to allow sentiment to sway me and to say1 ,consider first whether a thing has associations before1 in one's anxiety for beauty1 one does away with it4 ,if it have1 let it remain1 for nothing can ever replace it2 but if it have not 7and ,i sternly myself refuse to become sentimental over a chair or footstool71 by all means get rid of it1 and replace it with something lighter and more modern4 ,as a rule1 this will not last long enough for us to cling round it mentally or to deck it with any of the finer sentiment that is inseparable from much of the heavy mahogany and walnut under which so many of my disciples still groan1 and which has been handed down from one generation to another1 each generation becoming more and more discontented with it1 until the present are in open revolt against that which gave our grandmothers and great-grandmothers the greatest possible gratification to possess4 ,the pretty corners in which we all delight1 and the lightness and brightness that now characterise our houses1 would have been the source of endless woe and trouble to the dear ladies of old4 ,the corners would have meant dust and #8gimcracks1' and as the light colours in which we revel would and do soon become soiled1 they1 too1 would have been deprecated because they showed the dirt1 which was present equally in the darker rooms1 but not being visible was not taken any notice of until the annual clean1 when all was made aggressively shining and absolutely spotless1 remaining so for about a week1 when dust began to gather again1 but it was unnoticed because the dark materials did not show the dirt1 which1 however1 could be felt1 did our finger come in contact with the rough moreen or dismal repps in which their souls delighted1 and of which specimens still haunt us in the houses of those who are possessors of similar heirlooms with which they dare not part4 ,then1 too1 the dear ladies were so fond of stuffing up their windows and darkening their rooms still more by the drawing down of blinds and the eliminating of every morsel of sunshine1 for fear their precious carpets would become faded2 and ,i am sorry to say that this affection for half-dark rooms yet lingers among many who ought to know better4 ,but when ,i stumble into one of these rooms1 where one cannonades against the furniture and falls over footstools in the half-light1 ,i always feel convinced that the blinds are drawn to prevent the sun beating too warmly on the faded complexion of the owner of that house1 or to hide the ravages of time1 that the liberally applied pearl-powder and rouge and the sticky harsh dye are powerless to remove entirely1 but that almost disappear in the rose-tinted chambers ,i so abhor and despise2 and ,i therefore know what to expect when ,i am ushered into one of these stuffy1 dismal rooms1 and am thankful when ,i get out of it2 for the mind that can delight in defying age with paint and dye is not likely to find me of the smallest use4 ,i should say at once1 ,do away with the blinds and shorten the curtains1 and let in some air2 and as the owner of that house would sooner dye--,i mean die--than accede to my request1 ,i have nothing to say to her1 and get away as soon as ,i can4 ,any amount of decoration for the house ,i like and appreciate1 but ,i cannot appreciate or understand the ambition that makes one ,aspinall one's face and pretend to be five-and-twenty when one knows one will never see forty again4 ,corners are especially appreciated1 unfortunately1 by the ladies who draw their blinds down and never face the eye of day save in a carriage1 with a spotted veil over their features and a shading parasol1 and no doubt some of these individuals will look at the pictures in this book and may see these words of wisdom2 if they do1 ,i hope they will consider them1 wash their faces1 and pull up their blinds4 ,i can assure them they will be far happier and healthier1 more especially if they realise that the time they spend in tiring their heads and painting their faces is absolutely wasted--it neither makes them younger nor more ornamental--and that it would be far better employed in working for others1 or in making their homes as cheerful as unfailing sunshine and fresh air invariably do4 ,therefore1 down with the curtains and up with the blinds1 and let us have as much cheerful sunshine as this rather disappointing climate will allow us to possess1 and the first corner ,i would make is the summer corner1 for1 that once made1 dismal darkness and stuffiness would be an impossibility4 ,the special corner illustrated here is one of the windows in my present morning-room1 which is at the end of the room1 in a curious species of square nook to itself2 there is an enormous species of bow-window beside1 where ,i have my desk and other belongings1 and beyond that again is a third window1 below which ,i have a long book-case full of books2 but though this window is to some extent unique1 the seat illustrated here1 which is an adaptation or rather an enlargement of ,giles' #8,cosy ,corner1' could be put under any window and of course enlarged immensely2 if desired1 it could go across one side of the room1 and the arm with a curtain could come out straight from the wall of the room1 thus making a sheltered place in which to sit and read2 and breaking up admirably the long straight look of the wall1 which all too often makes an ordinary room the most uninteresting place in the world1 and the most difficult to render artistic and pleasant4 ,the right-hand side of the seat should be at least two feet longer than the left-hand side1 or else the seat will look too much like a family pew1 which cognomen one of my friends is rude enough to give to my present seat1 but arranged with the ends of an uneven length1 the seat looks like nothing save what it is--a remarkably comfortable lounge1 where one can either sit and read or talk1 and it forms an extremely pretty addition to any room4 ,the special seat illustrated here is enamelled ,aspinall's electric turquoise1 and is upholstered in ,colbourne's yellow and white ,louis ,,xvi4 damask1 at #bs4 #aa;d4 a yard1 but ,i intend soon to replace this covering by dark yellow stamped ,illustration3 ,,fig4 #g4--;,a ,summer ,corner4 corduroy velveteen1 for1 pretty as the ,louis ,,xvi4 damask is1 and admirable as it is for curtains and table-cloths1 it does not answer for hard wear1 and soon becomes soiled and rubbed1 a fact ,giles warned me about2 but ,i was anxious to experiment myself on the subject2 and having done so1 and found it does not answer1 here solemnly warn my readers from using this charming material for tight coverings or where real hard wear is expected of it4 ,tightly upholstered furniture should be always covered in something that will really wear1 not only because of the expense1 but because of the worry of having workmen always in the house replacing the furniture which has become soiled and worn4 ,but whatever the seat is upholstered in1 the fringe round the seat should not be forgotten1 and it should almost touch the ground2 mine does not1 and in consequence the seat always has the appearance of having grown out of its frocks2 and the material should be in some measure a contrast to the colour used for enamelling the ends and woodwork2 indeed1 ,i much prefer the ends1 c41 to be of some polished wood1 while the straight piece above the seat and below the shelf could be either plainly painted or polished wood1 or else it could be made of brocade or ,japanese leather paper4 ,mr4 ,giles puts ,lincrusta in those he sells to fit into recesses1 but ,i cannot endure this stiff and very ugly material1 and always ask him to replace it for me with something preferable1 the excellent ,japanese leather looking better1 in my opinion1 than anything else4 ,the straight piece above the seat1 if covered in brocade and furnished with tiny hooks1 would make an admirable place to display the miniatures and odds and ends of silver that are so fashionable2 really old and valuable fans could also be displayed here to advantage1 and a thin sheet of talc could be stretched over all4 ,glass would be too heavy1 and the talc would protect the fans1 c41 from dust1 and yet be sufficiently transparent4 ,the shelf for china is part of the seat3 this is of wood1 either enamelled or polished1 and should be carefully arranged2 the tall jar containing grasses at the end of the shelf in the sketch is really in the corner in my room1 and fills up the space between the curtain and the wall1 and in the opposite corner from the frieze-rail hangs one of ,benson's admirable copper lamps with a copper shade2 this throws the light down on the seat1 and enables one to read there1 should one wish to do so1 the cushioned corner below the lamp being perhaps the most comfortable spot in the whole seat4 ,just on the other side of the arms1 and below the top of them1 ,i had small tea-cup shelves put2 they shut down completely1 and when not in use are scarcely visible1 but they make a great deal of difference to one's comfort2 for one can rest one's cup there easily1 and in consequence this corner makes a favourite spot during the ceremony of afternoon tea1 which we always hold in the morning-room1 our present drawing-room being only used when lighted up1 as it is dark and depressing1 because of the numerous trees by which we are surrounded1 and that make it unbearable until the lamps are lighted and the yellow and white decoration stands out in the admirable manner in which these two colours always do when once artificial light falls upon them4 ,the big pillows are in yellow1 deep-red1 and electric turquoise1 and were bought at ,maple's for #afs4 #aa;d4 each2 but those who really possess numerous pillows1 soft and comfortable enough to lean against1 but hideous to contemplate1 will be glad to hear that ,maple sells these frilled silk covers ready to slip on1 which would transform in a moment the most frightful pillow ever presented to an unfortunate bride1 who yet dare not do away with the kind gift of a relative who may be has not gone with the times or holds the stern opinion that a gift one makes oneself is worth any amount of presents bought in a shop3 so it is1 if the work be present day work1 and really artistic2 but the beaded cushion or 7the worst development of all7 that covered with crazy patchwork1 still exists unfortunately1 and may exist1 blamelessly and usefully1 if slipped into one of these covers1 which can be whipped off in a moment1 should the donor appear unexpectedly1 or be even pointed out as our pious endeavour to preserve the #8beautiful' work by a cover one does not mind if one spoils3 an excellently plausible excuse that spares the feelings of the maker and our own sensitive optics at the same time4 ,the curtain on my seat is hanging on a brass rod1 and is made from a remarkably beautiful pattern of yellow and brown stamped velveteen known as the ,graham velveteen1 and sold by ,graham ,biddle2 both sides of the curtain are alike1 as ,i have doubled the material1 and ,i am very fond of this special bit of colour and design2 but if the velveteen is objected to1 the curtain can be made from the soft artistic silk ,shoolbred sells at #bs4 a yard2 this must be double too1 and put on very full1 or else it will soon become skimpy and flabby4 ,the table at the end of the seat has a loose cover of dark-red ,bokhara plush1 a capital species of ribbed plush edged with ball fringe2 this costs #fs4 #aa;d4 a yard from ,colbourne1 and it takes a yard and a quarter to make the square1 which is necessary for one of these cloths2 a big yellow pot holding a palm stands on the table1 the palm giving place whenever possible to a flowering plant1 a great white azalea1 and a big white rose tree1 and also an orange tree with flowers and fruit1 and a flowering daphne having all appeared there to the greatest possible advantage4 ,beyond the curtain1 at the extreme end of the seat1 ,i hang a long ,japanese bamboo1 and have flowers here whenever possible4 ,these bamboos are most decorative1 and look nice with comparatively few flowers in them4 ,on the other side of the seat1 at the end1 a palm stands on the low1 square1 velvet-covered stools ,i prefer to anything else for pot stands2 and at the extreme end ,i always have one of ,mrs4 ,m#8,clelland's admirable newspaper and magazine stands2 these are the right height for use and stand on two crossed legs2 one side takes papers and the other magazines2 a paper-knife is slipped into a bracket at the side1 and altogether the stand is a wonderful comfort1 and above all makes an excellent present for a man--that most difficult of all creatures to give a present to1 unless one half ruin oneself in order to make him an offering4 ,the walls of this special room are covered with ,mr4 ,smee's admirable blue paper at #ds4 the piece1 all the paint is ,aspinall's electric-turquoise enamel1 the frieze is plain gold ,japanese leather paper1 and the ceiling is in squares2 the moulding that forms each square is coloured cream1 and the squares themselves are filled in with a well-designed yellow and white ceiling paper from ,mr4 ,smee's at #cs4 a piece2 the floor is covered with yellow and white matting1 and has several rugs lying about1 and the curtains are ,louis ,,xvi4 tapestry1 in yellow and white1 edged with the usual ball fringe--the smaller windows having this only1 the larger one having #8guipure vitrage' on it as well4 ,the frieze has been embellished most successfully in three or four places with great branches of ,japanese-looking japonica in the natural colours2 and this is an immense improvement1 as one requires touches of red undoubtedly about the room4 ,the branches do not go all round the room in the orthodox manner1 but are scattered in three or four places1 and are the work of an artist4 ,a good effect can be obtained by merely outlining with a careful brush the patterns that are on all ,japanese leather papers with a little #8,scinde red4' ,of course this must not be done all over the frieze1 but simply here and there1 and should be executed with taste1 and a great amount of common sense as well4 ,before ,i say any more about this room1 or about the other corner which has been arranged for winter use1 ,i want to draw the attention of my readers especially to the windows4 ,my plan of doing away with blinds was illustrated as regards a bow window1 and the tiny squares of the manor house windows before1 but no one has ever seemed able to grasp the manner in which an ordinary flat window or a ,french window can be managed4 ,this window is the ordinary flat window2 and can anything be simpler than the white curtains of #8guipure vitrage' stretched on two slight rods fastened on the window frame1 not on the sash8 ,these curtains remain in place1 whether the window is open or shut1 and1 in consequence1 were they used in a bedroom1 one could dress comfortably with the window open1 the curtains remaining in place and serving as a blind4 ,with the ordinary short blind1 which vulgarises any house1 and to which ,english house-mothers cling with a devotion worthy of a better cause1 one must keep the windows closed during the process of dressing1 as the blind goes up with the window1 and leaves the room exposed to the glances of anyone who may be passing by4 ,the thicker curtains hang from a separate brass rod1 which is rather larger than those used for the muslin4 ,these curtains are attached to rings which allow them to be drawn easily along the rods at night1 and when the sun shines too warmly and brightly1 and1 therefore1 no hideously ugly blinds are required2 for even ladies whose dubious complexions forbid the free entrance of the blessed sun can make their rooms as dark as they like by drawing these curtains1 which can be lined with a thick sateen1 and should be edged with a ball fringe1 to break the hard line which always spoils the look of any curtain when left untrimmed4 #8,guipure vitrage1' which is to be had from ,wallace1 from #aj;d4 a yard1 makes admirable under curtains4 ,of course it is much dearer than ,kay's butter muslin1 or his easily-draped ,indian muslin at #b;d4 a yard4 ,but then these muslins require making up1 and must be edged with softly falling frills1 which should be from #c to #e inches in width1 according to the size of the window4 ,these frills are put on without any heading1 and fall in a sort of cascade4 ,the frilled muslins sold now by the yard at any big shop are not nearly so satisfactory1 as the frills are goffered1 and are very stiff4 ,making the frilled curtains is a serious consideration3 they must be done by hand1 as the muslin will not stand the machine1 and the hemming required is rather hard work1 and therefore #8guipure vitrage1' despite its price1 should recommend itself to those who are not given to sewing4 ,it merely requires hemming top and bottom1 and the rods pass through these hems1 which should be loose enough to allow of the curtain being moved to cover the window entirely1 should this be necessary1 or to part in the centre1 so that any view there may be need not be obscured4 ,in the ordinary ,london house1 where all sorts of endeavours are made to completely hide the doings of the inhabitants of the rooms from the passers-by1 these curtains1 especially in the ,indian muslin from ,kay's1 are invaluable4 ,no one can see in1 and all can see out1 while further protection could be obtained by flower boxes along the window-ledges in the summer1 and put inside the rooms in the winter1 if desired4 ,a couple of iron brackets could be put out1 one each side of the window1 ,aspinalled to match the rest of the paint1 and on this the box could rest1 full of flowering plants1 when the weather outside would be too cold for them to live and flourish4 ,the whole of the house should be done alike with the curtains1 of which a double set should be made4 ,the #8guipure vitrage' must not be very much starched1 and it must be carefully pulled out and stretched before it is quite dry1 or else it will seem to have shrunk2 but with care and proper washing these curtains would last three or four years1 and1 as there is no real trouble in making1 should soon be the favourite material for these short curtains4 ,the cost would be about #ds4 a window1 so that it would be easy for anyone to see what their house would cost them4 ,naturally the other muslin would come only to about #as4 a window2 in this case the sewing must be done by the owner of the house or her maids4 ,i think from this sketch anyone can see how the ordinary blindless window is managed2 while the way to arrange a ,french window is shown in the frontispiece so plainly that no further description can possibly be needed4 ,and now we come to the winter corner1 the sketch of which requires very little comment from me1 as ,i think it speaks for itself2 but my readers may be interested to know that the sofa illustrated here began life as a wretched stiff sofa with a scroll end1 and no side whatever1 and was bought very cheaply of a country tradesman4 ,when ,i wanted to make a comfortable seat by the fire1 ,i got another local genius to put the scroll end upright1 and to put on the side4 ,this transformed the seat at once1 and made a most comfortable lounge1 more especially as ,i had the legs cut down1 until it is only fourteen inches high1 the seat being about twenty-four inches wide4 ,this is a seat pur et simple2 but by putting a couple of pillows on the end of the sofa nearest the wall and stuffing them comfortably down there1 one makes an excellent rest for one's head1 and can lie there in warmth and peace4 ,this corner1 by the way1 is a special favourite of ,max1 the tabby cat1 who much resents being moved therefrom1 and retreats in great dudgeon to a chair from ,liberty1 which stands the other side of the fireplace1 which is only just indicated in the sketch1 and which is a charming but simple design1 from ,shuffery in ,welbeck ,street4 ,behind the sofa stands the corner cabinet made for me by ,mr4 ,smee1 and which is just what such a cabinet ought to be4 ,i have seen a corner cabinet which looked as if its middle had suddenly collapsed1 the two sides going into a miserable point1 which was as ugly as it was unsatisfactory1 and ,i could not think what was the matter with it1 until ,i discovered that the point ought to have been behind1 and that the front should be comparatively straight1 as in our illustration4 ,this cabinet is enamelled electric ,illustration3 ,,fig4 #h4--;,a ,winter ,corner4 turquoise1 and has brass handles to the drawers and cupboard1 which are made for use1 and hold an immense variety of things4 ,the drawers are divided in half inside1 which is a great convenience1 as it enables one to keep papers and properties of all sorts and conditions separate and distinct2 while the cupboard also has a shelf in it1 and is the whole length and width of the bottom part1 thus holding a good deal4 ,the two little velveteen curtains are to break the monotony which would have been caused had the shelves been left open2 and the top and shelves generally hold any quantity of china--the dull yellow and blue jars one buys at ,gorringe's being especially suitable for this room2 as is the deep red ,kaga and ,imari ware imported in such quantities by ,shoolbred1 ,liberty1 and ,whiteley1 and indeed by almost every second shop nowadays4 ,the table shown in this illustration is one that is remarkably useful by reason of its second tray4 ,my own table is covered in dull yellow corduroy velveteen1 edged with a ball fringe2 but if room were a great object1 and there were much to store away1 a loose table-cloth1 in serge or ,bokhara plush1 could be thrown over it to conceal anything that was hidden thereunder4 ,i am not fond of these makeshifts myself2 but in a small room1 where every single inch is of consequence1 work that would be perhaps unsightly to leave about can be neatly folded and put on this tray2 and another place to put away could be afforded1 if we replaced my fireside sofa 7which ,wallace will supply at #el4 #aes4 #f;d4 complete7 by a sofa ,i saw at ,hampton's just lately4 ,this is an improvement on the very useful box-ottomans ,i advocate in many bedrooms1 and is much like a sofa with a tolerably high side and two ends2 the top of the sofa lifts up1 and discloses a good deep box1 which would hold an immense quantity of things2 while the whole affair does not look like a box-ottoman1 but resembles a very comfortable and pretty sofa2 this costs about #gl4 #ags4 #f;d41 and would be of immense use in a room where one had a great deal to put away1 and very few convenient places to store one's property in4 ,this would stand where my sofa is in the sketch1 or could be put in a recess one side of the fire2 it would look well in either situation4 ,i think this corner1 too1 gives some idea of how pictures can be hung about in an informal manner2 although in every case these are represented in the sketch as being much higher than they really are2 there is no formal arrangement1 yet all seems to fall into place without trouble1 and the whole effect is very good2 flowers and plants are again to be found here1 and indeed ,i cannot say too much about the desirability of filling our rooms with both plants and flowers4 ,no house can be pretty without a great many of both2 and no one who has not seen the immense difference plenty of plants make can have any idea of the satisfactory effect of these great adjuncts to the real decoration of a house4 ,they cost money1 but not one quarter of what they used to2 and even in the depth of winter in ,london one can buy heaps of narcissus and jonquils absurdly cheaply1 a shillingsworth making an appreciable difference in any house6 ,beyond the chair just indicated in the sketch is a species of square arch1 and beyond that a square end to the room itself2 ,i did not at first see what ,i could do with this most ugly part of an ugly room1 but at last the brilliant idea struck me1 of which ,i give a tiny sketch here4 ,i had a series of brackets put up the arch to hold china2 the back of these brackets and the panelling above the arch itself was filled in with red and gold ,japanese leather paper1 and on each bracket ,i placed one of ,elliott's pots2 the sides of the brackets were painted by ,mr4 ,m#8,clelland's clever brush with red1 yellow1 and pink roses1 and ,i at once found myself in possession of a charming object for contemplation1 instead of a yawning gap1 preposterous in structure and hideous to look at4 ,by the left-hand side of the arch ,i place a beautifully embroidered ,japanese silk screen in the most delicate shade of pink2 ,i can dwell lovingly on this1 as it was not my own selection1 but was a ,christmas present from someone who knew and studied my tastes1 and it gives just the right finish to that corner2 behind the last bracket stands a palm in an art-pot1 and another little table with a blue cloth is in front of the screen1 and completes that side of the room4 ,below the last window is the long low book-case mentioned before2 it is only about three feet high1 and is enamelled electric turquoise like the rest of the room1 and each shelf is edged with a frill of yellow printed linen2 the top of these shelves makes an excellent rest for photographs1 china1 and plants1 and is thus finished2 had the book-case not been placed there ,i cannot think what ,i should have done1 as no one can sit in that part of the room1 which really is a tiny ante-room1 or entrance merely1 to what is not at the best a large room1 but which would have been all the better had the eccentric designer done away with his arch and put all the space at his command into the room itself2 but he did not1 and so ,i have made the best use ,i can of the room as it is1 though ,i really believe in so doing ,i have shortened my life perceptibly6 ,illustration3 ,,fig4 #i4--;,arches for a ,double ,room4 ,at the end of the room1 opposite the window under which the book-case is1 is a door--and such a door6 when we came it was grained maple1 and was the centre of a wooden partition1 above which was a neat fanlight of starred glass4 ,i shall never forget it--never6 ,i have now put on each side of the door a curtain of ,wallace's #8daisy brocade1' and another on the door itself on one of ,maple's rods1 which open and shut with the door4 ,above this there is a shelf to hold china1 and the glass is replaced by leaded squares of cathedral glass4 ,i mention all these details to show what a difference a small amount of common sense1 a little woodwork1 and a little money will make2 indeed1 in these days of artistic merit1 when upholsterers are educated gentlemen1 and the shop is no longer a badge of infamy1 ,i think no one who is not utterly obstinate and tasteless need have an ugly house2 though ,i must confess ,i still have to grieve over the many absolutely hideous houses in the land arranged by those who are not tasteless--,i wish they were3 then one could do something with them--but are so permeated by vile and vulgar tastes of their own that they will not be taught1 and continue to offend our eyes with their belongings1 regardless of the fact that in these days it is really easier to have pretty things than to have ugly ones4 ,before ,i pass on to other nooks and corners which can be made1 ,i should like once more to impress upon my readers that for a morning-room nothing is so absolutely successful as regards decoration as this arrangement of greeny-blue1 yellow and red4 ,i have sat in it and contemplated it for just seven years1 and ,i am more and more convinced that nothing else is so entirely satisfactory in every way2 naturally we need not adhere to ,mr4 ,smee's #ds4 paper1 or there would be too much monotony about it4 ,marigold #ha at #es4 #f;d4 from ,morris is just as beautiful1 while ,pither's less expensive #8blossom1' #8berry1' and bay-tree papers1 which average #as4 #f;d4 a piece1 can all be used according to the size and shape of the room4 ,and once more ,i should say most emphatically1 ,study your room2 a dark dull room could not take this scheme of blue1 and were such a chamber taken for the morning-room1 which ,i hope and trust would not be the case1 ,i should advocate another scheme of colouring altogether1 and would suggest either a really beautiful pink and green floral paper called #8,amaryllis' at #ajs4 #f;d4 the piece from ,wallace1 or else ,haines's #8rose' paper at #cs4 #i;d4 ,with either1 ,i should suggest warm ivory paint1 a pink and cream ceiling paper1 and either cretonne curtains1 in a cretonne to harmonise with the paper1 or else of soft green ,liberty silk1 the greens procurable there being the greens to harmonise with pink1 ,liberty pink and green commingled making a most charming room1 but one that should not be attempted cheaply4 ,green and pink must be in expensive materials to procure the proper shades1 a common green and an inferior pink being about the most terrible colours one can have1 although a common blue runs it very hard1 as sporting individuals would say4 ,a green carpet--either the green #8lily1' that always satisfactory1 inexpensive carpet from ,wallace1 sold in blues1 greens1 and reds1 at #cs4 #aa;d4 a yard1 wide width1 or else a dull green pile carpet from ,pither's--should be used in a room decorated in this manner1 but the green must be an artistic green1 and have no fidgety pattern to distract the eye or attract attention to what we should never see1 unless our attention were really called to it4 ,if the morning-room were in the country1 were a very hot room1 and only used in summer1 it would look very charming in sea-green and white4 ,morris has a beautiful sea-green paper at #cs4 #f;d42 and ,chappell ,payne have a very pretty sea-green and white-chrysanthemum paper at a little under #bs41 the same colour1 which could be used were ,morris too expensive4 ,either sea-green or ivory paint could be used4 ,there could be a hand-painted frieze on sea-green #8tectorium1' of white lilac and the graceful white broom and their own foliage1 and a pale sea-green cretonne should be chosen1 with bunches of white lilac on4 ,the floor should be covered with sea-green matting and rugs1 which would bring a little colour into the room1 and the furniture should be sea-green enamel upholstered in the cretonne4 ,in the pink and green room1 by the way1 the furniture should be malachite green-stained1 to be had from ,wallace1 and the muslin next the window should be ,helbronner's pink and green lily muslin4 ,this is expensive1 but it is by far the prettiest muslin for such a room that could be found4 ,i think low basket-chairs are still the best chairs for a morning-room1 but1 if they can be afforded1 one or two higher chairs should be provided4 ,i find ,shoolbred's corduroy velveteen the best thing possible to cover basket-chairs with1 unless one has a maid who is clever enough to unpick the cretonne covers and wash and replace them2 then nothing is as nice as cretonne1 and this same material1 in some appropriate shade1 would do for the ,illustration3 ,,fig4 #aj4--,simple ,mantel ,draping4 larger chairs4 ,the cost of these must depend on the money we have to spend1 but a good chair with comfortable springs costs from #el4 to #hl41 and1 if the money can be managed1 ,i should advise as much as this being given2 it will be cheaper in the long run4 ,i think the most difficult matter of all to explain by mere words is the arrangement of a fireplace which is already supplied with one of the #8handsome statuary' marble mantel-pieces1 which are so much admired by builders and folks who cannot help being impressed with the idea that marble mantel-pieces and a claim to gentility go hand in hand1 and ,i am always imploring people not to drape these imitations with elaborate flutings and flounces of muslin and general awfulnesses4 ,if the morning-room--or1 indeed1 any other room--is burdened with one of these mantel-pieces1 paint it boldly with ,aspinall 7the paint can always be removed either with ,carson's #8detergent' or else by the #8,eclipse ,paint ,remover'74 ,see that it matches the rest of the paint in the room2 then place along it the simple drapery ,i have illustrated here4 ,this is quite sufficient4 ,it hides a good piece of the underpart of the structure1 and as it can be shaken daily does not collect dust and dirt1 as must all more elaborate arrangements inevitably4 ,this drapery is made by taking a straight piece of material about twenty-four inches wider and twenty-four inches longer than the mantel-piece itself2 the sides and front are edged with a cord and a tassel1 or else a few pompons are hung at the front corners2 the drapery is placed straight along the mantel-piece1 the uncorded edge against the wall1 and drapes itself1 being kept stationary by the ornaments and photographs1 c41 we usually put on the shelf4 ,bokhara plush makes the best drapery1 but if this is used three or four should be made at the same time1 or else the plush cuts to waste4 ,of course the rest can be used in other ways2 it makes admirable flat bell-pulls for bedrooms1 with a brass ring at the end1 and could be used as toilet covers2 but corduroy velveteen is nearly as pretty1 and1 being the exact width required1 would be the best material to use2 it is only #bs4 #i;d4 a yard4 ,whatever is used1 the corners of the drapery should be lined with satin1 or sateen1 either in a paler colour than the drapery itself or in some contrast1 as the corners show1 and would not look nice at all unless they were lined4 ,this completes the drapery1 which is the only one that should be allowed1 as it is simple and cleanly1 which is more than can be said for any other arrangement4 ,the pattern was given me by a friend1 who bought it of a first-rate upholsterer in ,paris1 and is so simple1 ,i cannot think why no one ever thought of it before in ,england4 ,before we pass away from speaking of the fireplace1 ,i should like to describe one or two ways of filling up the recesses generally found in present-day houses4 ,in a dining-room ,i should always place the buffets there which ,i recommend in place of sideboards2 then1 in the drawing-room or morning-room1 ,giles's cosy corner1 illustrated in every advertising paper1 is to be recommended for one side2 this seat goes straight along the recess1 and has an end that returns along the end of the recess1 giving a corner in which to sit4 ,as a rule these seats will take two people comfortably4 ,above the padded back is the same straight piece illustrated in the #8summer corner1' surmounted by the bracket-rail2 but if people do not wish to go to the expense of an elaborately upholstered and spring seat1 they can easily make a seat for themselves by having a wooden frame on four legs made to fit the recess2 the top should be covered with sacking or webbing1 along the front of the seat should be nailed a full flounce of corduroy velveteen lined with holland2 a square cushion1 made from wool and hair mixed1 should be placed along the top of the sacking1 and the back should be formed by hanging two square cushions on the wall so arranged that one dovetails with the other in the corner2 these should be high enough to allow of using a finish of ,giles's bracket-rail for china1 which should be put along the top of the cushions and keep them in their places1 and a lamp can be hung over the seat1 either from a hook placed in the ceiling itself or hanging out from the frieze-rail from one of the brass arms sold by ,benson1 on purpose for holding lamps1 for about #ajs4 #f;d4 each1 that would give light to anyone who sat to read by the fire in a room in which gas was banished1 as ,i trust it may soon be banished from every sitting-room in the land1 either in favour of the beautiful electric light1 for the universal use of which ,i pine1 or in favour of lamps1 which may give trouble1 but save that trouble over and over again in the manner in which things remain clean and good that would have become both spoiled and soiled had gas been used where they were4 ,another recess can be filled by using ,mrs4 ,talbot ,coke's design1 published in the #8,queen1' and which ,i have her permission for giving here1 and which is not only very pretty but decidedly useful4 ,it could be made by any carpenter first1 as three simple shelves2 the top and bottom shelves should be of equal depth1 the centre one should be rather narrower1 and the whole arrangement should not be above the line of the mantelshelf2 along the edge of the shelves should be glued strips of ,japanese leather paper1 and the top shelf should be divided as in the sketch1 the arches being either simple wooden arches cut out of thin wood1 or else of the ,moorish fretwork sold by ,hindley ,barker2 the bottom shelf should have three separate small curtains along it1 the division between being strips of wood decorated with ,japanese leather4 ,of course this arrangement should be enamelled to match the rest of the paint1 and the silk which is used for the curtains should be a contrast2 and great care must be taken to employ someone who does not make his woodwork with a heavy hand 7as some cooks make pastry71 for ,i once saw one of these recess arrangements carried out in such a way that the whole effect was dreadful1 being entirely marred by the thick wood and heavy arches of which it was composed4 ,any china can be arranged therein1 for the top makes an admirable resting-place for odds and ends and one's favourite photographs or books4 ,an armchair should be put by the side1 and this will suggest at once a comfortable reading-nook for a winter's afternoon without any more elaborate arrangement4 ,illustration3 ,,fig4 #aa4--;,a ,recess4 ,i am so often asked to advise people1 on paper1 how to arrange their furniture1 and despite my strenuous refusals to contemplate such a waste of time1 am so constantly importuned to do so1 that ,i venture to pause here1 and give one or two hints on the subject of the general arrangement of sitting-rooms2 as although it is naturally quite impossible to tell positively where to place a chair ,i have never seen in a house ,i have never entered1 it is possible1 ,i trust1 to give general hints which shall enable my readers to make their sitting-rooms rather more comfortable than most of them seem able to do at present4 ,for example1 no matter how small a room is1 an enormous amount of comfort and a certain idea of unlimited space is always given by placing a screen judiciously by the door2 this prevents the whole of the room being on view at once1 and gives an opportunity of placing a chair or two behind it1 which we could not do were the door to open into the passage and leave a yawning gulf behind one's back1 or were it to open into the room and so leave an exposed place at once where no one could sit1 because they would feel they were sitting in the passage2 and1 again1 no chairs should be isolated or put out of humanity's reach2 if they are1 they will surely be sought out at once by some shy caller or visitor1 and we shall have to spend our time endeavouring to draw him or her into the circle4 ,by this ,i do not mean that our chairs should be arranged as if we were expecting the assembling together of a prayer-meeting1 but that they should be within reach both of ourselves1 the fire in winter1 the window in summer1 and of the light always2 then shall we be quite sure our guests are happy1 or1 if they are not1 that it is their own fault and not ours4 ,there should be a place for each member of the household in any room1 and attention to these details even causes the furniture to in some measure arrange itself and be so placed that it shows to the greatest advantage1 and can at the same time be used by the owners in the best manner possible as well4 ,if more lamps are required in a room than the two or three which are usually quite sufficient for the purposes of general lighting1 those who require special lamps should be encouraged to look after them themselves1 especially in the case of the daughters of the house1 on whom1 in most middle-class families1 should devolve all the flower-tending and finer parts of housekeeping1 of which1 by that time1 the house-mother will no doubt be weary1 and will only be too glad to hand over to those who are full of energy as well as of the very newest ideas on the subject of how to arrange the flowers1 on which so much of the appearance of the house depends4 ,i like the sofa placed out straight from the side of the fire1 as in ,fig4 #g1 or straight along in front of it1 about seven or eight feet from the front of the fire2 and in some rooms the piano1 that most undecorative piece of furniture1 can be put with one end straight against the wall in the recess1 the other straight out into the room with the sofa against the back1 or else a comfortable chair1 as represented in ,fig4 #aa1 which will1 ,i hope1 give my readers a good idea how to manage a piano1 which can be placed either out from the wall in the recess1 across one corner of a room1 or out in the room itself1 and1 indeed1 in any way that will not necessitate its back against the wall1 a position that is fatal to anything like music1 for it is terrible to play with one's back to one's audience1 or to sing straight into the wall1 which throws one's voice straight back at one all the time one is singing4 ,as will be seen from the sketch1 the baize at the back of the piano is first covered with a good ,japanese leather paper1 and then soft silk is carelessly draped over it1 finishing with a long piece at one side2 the top of the piano is first covered with the soft silk1 which is fastened by tiny tacks inside the lid to keep it in its place1 and then by a piece of ,japanese embroidery2 at one end is a tall palm-stand from ,liberty with a big brass pot holding a palm2 at the back1 where there is no distinct drapery1 stands a small screen1 and at the other end is a ,cairene inlaid stool holding a jar of grasses2 but ,i should prefer myself a much taller arrangement1 as the end of the piano is not at all a pretty object4 ,the silk which is found in the front of most pianos should be replaced by ,japanese leather paper4 ,if draping is objected to--and it should never be attempted by anyone who cannot pay some artist in drapery to manage it for them1 unless1 of course1 their own fingers are clever at it--a very good substitute is formed by using one of ,shoolbred's piano-rods1 from which can be hung a simple full curtain of some good and beautiful brocade1 such as is their ,nismes brocade4 ,the top should always be arranged as shown in the sketch1 for though these things may deaden the sound1 ,illustration3 ,,fig4 #ab4--;,a ,draped ,piano4 and a good musician would1 no doubt1 rage about them1 they can be removed in three seconds to a side table should music be the order of the day1 and could be replaced at once without giving anyone any undue amount of trouble4 ,i have seen a writing-table in a very small room placed against the piano1 the back of which1 having been1 first covered with brocade1 served as a species of #8hold-all' for all that is usually found on a writing-table2 but ,i cannot seriously recommend this1 as it is certainly incongruous to find cards of invitation1 balls of string1 date-cases and paper-knives1 and general dbris1 fastened about a piano1 which must1 ,i am sure1 resent tremendously this extraordinary manner of embellishing it4 ,i have never seen a piano arranged in a better manner than the one illustrated here by the kind permission of my successor at my dear ,shortlands house1 in whose hands the traditions of the house are well kept up1 and who has filled my shoes there much better than ,i filled them myself2 one of her improvements being the drapery over the conservatory door1 which ,i have illustrated here1 so many people having doors like that one and being quite unable to manage them properly4 ,the door is composed1 as are all similar doors1 of glass at the top and two small panels in the wooden frame below2 these are filled in with ,japanese leather paper1 a brass handle and one finger-plate are added 7only one finger-plate should ever be put on a door1 and that should be put above the door-handle72 and on the top of the glass is placed one of the pretty bead blinds2 this is a graduated one1 and is just indicated in the sketch4 ,on the left-hand side1 nearest the fire1 hangs a straight full piece of drapery1 edged all round with ball fringe1 while on the other side is draped a curtain with a drawing string1 which lets down in a moment to hide the door entirely at night4 ,a further idea of how this room is now arranged is given by the tall palm-stand1 and the end of a deep1 low1 beautiful sofa from ,liberty1 which ,i never see without breaking the tenth commandment4 ,the sides and back are quite straight1 the seat is very broad and is heaped with the frilled pillows1 which are as popular as they are useful and pretty2 the sofa is enamelled white1 and is covered with a beautiful yellow brocade1 the curtains beyond1 by the window1 being of a ,morris cretonne1 which resembles both in colour and design the brown and yellow velveteen from ,graham ,biddle mentioned before4 ,this design makes admirable portires1 ,illustration3 ,,fig4 #ac4--;,conservatory ,door4 and is always a pleasure to look at4 ,the tambourine is hung on the dado1 which is of a very good yellow and white matting and is headed with bamboo1 and despite the favour into which friezes have grown of late years1 a favour they quite deserve ,i must say1 ,i still cling to the dado in the dining-and drawing-rooms2 in the former they give solidity to the wall1 which they always keep tidy2 in the latter they serve admirably as places on which to hang our favourite nicknacks and those small sketches and pictures which we prize1 and which would almost be lost to sight were we to hang them above the height of the dado-rail1 where we could not have them near us2 so ,i strongly advise a dado whenever we can have one in the drawing-room1 and ,i have been lately confirmed in my opinion by seeing two newly decorated rooms where the dado was useless as far as regarded the hanging of pet possessions1 but it was so decorative that ,i am forced to pause here for a moment and give a description of them both4 ,in room ,no4 #a the wall-paper was my favourite yellow and white from ,mr4 ,smee2 all the paint was a deep ivory1 and the dado-rail was ivory too2 for about a yard below the rail the wall was coloured primrose1 and over this was hung a full soft curtain of yellow silk closely plaited on tiny rings1 which again were hung on nails below the rail1 which curved out over them and hid them completely2 this curtain could be taken down and shaken and replaced every week if desired1 while1 of course1 during absence from town the silk would be folded up and put away4 ,the loose curtain looks charming round the room1 which is a very tiny one1 and has been admirably arranged by ,mr4 ,smee with a fitted seat at one side of the wall1 with side curtains to give an idea of privacy1 and above that is a long bookcase2 the curtains are of the beautiful larkspur cretonne which has yellow and blue in it2 the carpet is a deep red1 to give more colour1 as the room is to be used for day1 and therefore requires to be made to look warmer than could be done were only blue and yellow used2 and the furniture is all ivory1 and upholstered in different brocades2 albeit these are also covered with loose cretonne covers in the larkspur cretonne1 which is #bs4 #aj;d4 a yard1 but really deserves to cost as much1 it is so pretty1 although ,i do own it is rather expensive for a mere cretonne4 ,the other room in which ,i saw the curtain dado was much more sombre in design and colouring2 and ,i do not for one moment recommend such a distressingly dark arrangement1 although ,i do most heartily commend the clever designer of this original room4 ,the dado was not the straight curtain which goes all round the room1 which ,i have been writing about1 but it started from the window at one end five feet above the floor2 this continued for halfway along the wall1 where it suddenly lowered to within three feet of the floor1 leaving a piece of wall about three feet across and two deep2 after running along for three feet at this lowered angle1 it rose again and continued along the wall to the door4 ,just on the other side of the door the curtain began at three feet from the wainscoting1 and continued for about five feet1 when it rose once more1 and continued at the first altitude for the rest of the wall1 which ended in a corner2 the curtain lowered from that to the fireplace1 which1 with its overmantel1 filled one square1 the dado beginning once more at the five-foot altitude after the fireplace was passed4 ,the curtain was moss-green serge1 and was hung from a pole painted moss-green1 with brass rings1 which were en vidence2 and above the curtain the wall was covered with a very good ,japanese leather paper2 the squares made by the dropping of the curtain being filled in one place by a choice picture1 in another by an admirably designed bracket for books and china1 and in another by a square beaten brass shield holding an elaborate and beautiful clustered candelabra2 and had the drapery been of some bright colour1 or some really decorative brocade1 the house would have been as charming as it was original1 but1 arranged with the dark ,japanese paper and the much darker drapery1 the whole effect was so depressing1 that ,i felt1 were ,i obliged to remain in that house1 ,i should have committed suicide1 for my spirits would never have borne up under it4 ,but it was a dark day1 as the owner pointed out1 when ,i told him1 at his request1 what ,i thought of it all4 ,but ,i maintain that as most of our ,english days1 and more especially our ,london days1 are extremely dark1 we are bound to try and make our rooms so beautiful that they1 at least1 shall not in any way add to the depression that is inseparable from sage-green walls and darkness generally4 ,we cannot have too much cheerfulness ,i maintain2 it is absolutely impossible to be too happy and too lively2 and as our climate does not help us to be either the one or the other1 we must endeavour to simulate as much sunshine as we can1 by making our rooms cheerful and as sunny-looking as we have the power to do4 ,i never go into my own rooms1 or the many rooms ,i have helped to decorate1 without feeling that1 whatever else may be their faults1 they certainly cannot be called gloomy4 ,they are all bright and cheerful2 and ,i defy anyone to be miserable long1 unless1 of course1 some real misfortune has occurred1 in one of my rooms in the green serge abode4 ,a misfitting dress would be as dreadful a sorrow as a broken arm1 a disappointment about an entertainment as serious as an illness or loss of money6 ,flowers again should never be forgotten1 or allowed to become dead and shabby2 and1 above all1 each room we occupy should be scrupulously clean1 and without being aggressively neat should be absolutely tidy4 ,directly a thing becomes dirty or untidy it should be cleaned or replaced by something else4 ,we should never overlook the soiling of the paint1 a crushed antimacassar1 a dirty ceiling1 and1 above all1 we should remember that no amount of artistic knowledge and careful decoration can make up for grimy tablecloths and crooked vases1 heaped-up papers and crushed chairbacks and damaged cretonnes4 ,a room must not only be made nice1 it must be kept so2 and if we cannot afford good servants1 who will respect our belongings1 we must do the finer parts of the housework ourselves4 ,it is no disgrace to wash fine china1 and turn and fold our tablecloths and draperies2 it is disgraceful to have dirty ornaments1 and to be untidy and careless about our rooms4 ,indeed1 if any of us really want our rooms to look nice we should1 no matter how good are our servants1 go carefully over them ourselves the moment the housemaid's work is done1 and see that all is as we like it4 ,servants do not place furniture1 they ram it into its place4 ,the tablecloths are usually put on wrong side out1 and1 somehow or other1 all seems to require the lady's touch1 which cannot be explained1 but is certainly observable in any house where the mistress is untidy1 and so naturally excuses untidiness in those around her4 ,i maintain that tidiness is quite a gift1 and that she who is possessed of that admirable quality makes things go twice as far as does she who never attempts to put a thing straight1 who overlooks dust and dirt1 and without knowing precisely how it is managed1 gets her house into endless muddle and never allows it to look nice1 albeit she spends three times as much over it as does she who is gifted with tidiness and a #8straight eye4' ,therefore1 if a house is to be properly kept1 the moment a handle comes off a door1 replace it2 the instant a thing looks in the least degree dirty1 have it washed or cleaned2 let any carpet be mended before it goes into a hole2 have black cleaned off any ceiling the moment it comes on it2 and1 above all1 have the china clean and straight1 and never overlook a rent or a dirty mark4 ,if a house is kept nice the expenses are gradual2 if all is neglected1 the day of reckoning1 which must come inevitably1 will be such a heavy one that it will cost more than can be afforded by anyone who is not a millionaire2 and it must come1 for even if the house is our own1 we must leave it some time1 and our successor will not revere our memory1 or remember us even with kindness1 when he comes after us and repairs our ravages1 which need have been unimportant had we punctually spent the yearly sum for repairs1 c41 which should always be set aside by every careful householder4 ,every room in every house should be re-painted and papered at least every seventh year4 ,outside painting should be done every third year4 ,the ceilings should be cleansed the moment they begin to look dirty2 and we should never possess curtains or carpets which we cannot afford to replace somehow1 or that will not readily wash and darn1 and shake when they begin to show signs of having been used4 ,a pretty house in good order will always let1 should we desire to move2 while a house in bad repair1 and dirty1 will never find a tenant1 even if the landlord is a model one1 and is willing to do all he can in the matter of new decorations1 for somehow the squalor and grime that greet the eye first on entering never seem forgotten1 and the house is passed over again and again1 because it is impossible to believe a house in such a state can ever be made either healthy or beautiful4 ,before passing away from the three ordinary sitting-rooms in a house ,i should like just to speak of some of the new styles of decoration which have come to the fore lately1 and which1 ,i am glad to say1 are all as cheerful as can be2 not that the arrangements ,i have advocated have been relegated to that mysterious limbo dedicated to the fashions of last week4 ,i have at last1 ,i am delighted to be able to tell my readers1 persuaded one or two of the more enterprising tradesmen to recognise the fact that a thing which was good and satisfactory last week is just as good and satisfactory this1 and all the schemes of decoration ,i gave before are still to be had4 ,but tastes change1 and it is always well to be prepared with some new ideas1 for rooms are all different1 and what suits one room will not suit another4 ,i still like the ,japanese plain paper1 red and gold leather dado1 and red paint better than anything else for a dining-room1 just as ,i cling to my blue morning-room2 but as it would not do for us all to have this same decoration1 ,i often advise an admirable tapestry paper1 sold by ,pither at #ds4 #f;d4 a piece4 ,this can either have #8holly-green' or #8imperial red' paint1 and a dado of ,japanese leather paper1 carefully chosen to harmonise with the paper1 and which should have dull red and green and gold in its design1 in very dark and unobtrusive shades4 ,the ceiling paper should be pale yellow and white1 the cornice cream4 ,the doors should be panelled with the ,japanese paper1 and the curtains should either be of ,colbourne's ,gobelin tapestry1 at #fs4 #aa;d4 a yard1 wide width1 or else of self-coloured velveteen or serge1 the colour of the paint 7whichever is chosen71 and the carpet should be an ,oriental one if possible1 with a dark red matting surround1 or else of ,wallace's dark red #8anemone1' either in pile1 ,brussels1 or ,kidderminster1 according to the price one wishes to give4 ,this style of decoration would suit almost any furniture1 though ,i should prefer the chairs to be covered with the ,gobelin tapestry1 which wears admirably1 and which should always be used to re-cover old or shabby chairs1 instead of a cheap leather4 ,this covering could be done at home by an upholsteress if necessary2 but ,i should advise the chairs being taken in hand by someone who can re-make the stuffing1 if the expense can be afforded2 if it cannot1 the leather should be left as it is1 all unevennesses and excrescences should be made even by judicious use of cotton-wool on the leather1 then a tight cover of holland should be first put on1 finally the cover of ,gobelin tapestry1 which should not be buttoned down1 but should be stretched over and secured in its place with a gimp4 ,each chair would cost about #ds4 or #es41 certainly not more4 ,where the old-furniture mania exists1 an artistic dining-room can be made by using all nut-brown paint1 ,essex ,co4's #8,kenesaw' design1 stamped on real brown paper1 a gold and brown leather dado1 all yellow serge or velveteen curtains1 and a golden-brown square carpet2 and great care should be taken in both rooms to have the proper tablecloths1 which ,burnett makes from a design ,i gave him1 and which have been largely used 7and recommended by the several imitators of mine which have sprung up in divers papers since ,i first began my own notion of giving advice on the matter of house decoration and arrangement through the columns of a newspaper1 now some six long years ago71 and which are far better and more artistic than any others ,i have ever seen4 ,the cloth is plain serge or felt1 with a contrasting border united to the cloth itself by a gimp in which both colours are mingled1 and finished off with a ball fringe4 ,these cloths cost about #bes4 for an ordinary table1 and1 as they will clean and dye1 would last some years if properly looked after4 ,i have already spoken about the morning-room decoration1 and therefore ,i will only add a few words on the subject of the drawing-room1 where the yellow-and-white scheme ,i so often recommend cannot be improved upon by those who can afford a reasonably expensive scheme of decoration4 ,of course the very greatest care must be taken to avoid anything like the gold-and-white paper of our ancestors1 but this usually was accompanied by grained maple paint1 which gave the last touch of horror to the scene1 and therefore could never resemble the delicate ivory paint which ,aspinall has made so easy for us2 and ,i still admire ,mr4 ,smee's beautiful yellow-and-white paper at #aas4 a piece better than anything else1 and with this ,i advise a dado of ,collinson ,lock's #8#dg' cretonne4 ,this should be secured with a screwed-on dado-rail1 as then the cretonne could be removed to be washed2 all the chairs should be put into frilled cretonne covers of the same cretonne1 made like those in ,fig4 #ac2 the curtains should be of ,pither's printed linen at #as4 a yard1 edged with ball ,illustration3 ,,fig4 #ad4--;,frilled ,chairs and ,sofa4 fringe at #f;d4 a yard1 and the carpet should be dark blue pile1 with a pattern that resembles tiny daisies powdered all over the surface in a paler shade of blue4 ,great exception has been taken to ,pither's printed linen because it fades4 ,so it does2 but then it is very cheap1 it lasts two years in a sunny window1 four in one that is not sunny1 and1 finally1 dyes beautifully1 fringe and all1 coming back from the immortal ,pullar as good as on the day it was first bought4 ,i don't think one can complain very much about a material which behaves like that1 can one8 ,but1 of course1 the printed linen as curtains can be replaced by silk1 damask1 or by #8#dg' cretonne itself1 should the first-named material be objected to4 ,no colour lights up so well as yellow--,i am quite sure of that2 and another decoration could be made from the yellow #8,othmar' paper sold by ,essex1 all cream paint1 and a frieze of chrysanthemums1 either painted by hand1 or else of the excellent printed design sold by ,haines at #cs4 #f;d4 the yard4 ,with this the carpet should be red1 and the curtains should either be of a brocade which introduces the shades in the flowers1 or else of a cretonne3 all would depend on how much money there was to spend2 but whether cretonne or brocade is used1 it must match the frieze in some measure4 ,though great cornices and vast pier-glasses over mantel-pieces are entirely out of date1 and will never1 ,i trust1 return into fashion1 there are still some unfortunates who labour under these possessions1 and who dare not rid themselves of them1 much as they would like to do so1 and who may be glad to learn how these horrors may in some measure be mitigated4 ,all cornices become less repulsive directly they are ,aspinalled ivory4 ,i cannot tell why1 but this seems to metamorphose them at once1 and makes them quite ornamental1 while the frame of the glass can be treated in the same manner1 unless the frames are quite flat1 in which case they should be covered with brocade1 in the same manner in which the fashionable frames for photographs are now managed4 ,in any case1 all the heavy flourishes and #8ornaments' should be removed1 and the glass made in every way as plain and unobtrusive as possible4 ,draping with muslin1 or even with ,liberty silk1 is never successful1 and only makes the object draped like one of the lodging-house possessions1 carefully guarded in a similar manner by the careful landlady from the encroachments of the flies1 and is therefore much to be avoided4 ,never1 no matter what the time of year1 put it out of your power to have a fire1 should you so desire it4 ,i still cling to the ,japanese umbrella1 and have never found a substitute for it which is so absolutely satisfactory4 ,if its stick is properly cut it hides the wood and coal and grate entirely1 and gives a bright spot of colour1 and can be removed at once4 ,a curtain hung straight down from a slight rod just under the top of the grate itself looks very neat1 as does a series of rings to hold flower-pots1 just brought out by ,hamilton1 of the ,quentin ,matsys ,forge1 ,york ,street1 ,westminster4 ,this holds twelve pots of flowers1 and can be lifted out in a moment altogether should a fire be required1 and would always look well put down in a corner of the room4 ,one of the ,guild brocade screens with miniatures answers well too1 and ,giles has invented from my description a fireplace cabinet1 which1 put under the wooden mantel-piece--which is de rigueur in an artistic house--continues the mantel and overmantel decorations1 and makes the whole appear like a good cabinet for books1 china1 and flowers4 ,this can also be removed in a few minutes1 and either hung on the wall or placed in a corner of the room4 ,the perfect cche-feu has yet to be invented1 but until some clever genius has done this1 either of the above ideas answers quite well2 but ,i do solemnly warn my readers against fashionable trellis-work with paper ivy and grapes wandering over it1 fans outstretched in plush with senseless photographs let in--as if photographs could be in place on the hearth6--and all the thousand and one freaks of fashion that are brought out by those who ought to know better1 and who have filled many houses to overflowing with terrible plush frames1 soiled satin bags1 useless odds and ends1 and ghastly painted tables1 brackets1 and stands1 which are costly to begin with1 and so we do not like to dispose of them too hastily1 and which should never be seen in the houses of those who really want to have an artistic and pretty home2 with which solemn warning we will pass on to sterner subjects1 and will consider in another chapter how to treat the more #8manly' portion of the house1 where work or pleasure may be gone in for4 ,,chapter ,,iv4 ,,the ,,billiard-,,room ,,and ,,library4 #8,there must be nothing frivolous1 light1 or airy in the aspect of either of these rooms2 all must be sombre and steady1 if not dark2' and though ,i do not go so far as this--the ordinary dictum of the upholsterer--,i am quite willing to allow that in the billiard-room at least lightness and frivolity are out of place1 albeit ,i cannot allow that even this room need be sombre and dreary1 while certainly it ought to light up well1 as it is a room which is generally used merely at night4 ,wherever it can be afforded1 and wherever there are young men or lads in the house1 there should always be a billiard-table1 and the girls should be encouraged to play with their brothers and their brothers' friends as long as their mother or father can remain in the room as some sort of guard and guide2 the pleasanter home is made the less inclination will young men have to go elsewhere for their amusements1 and if they are accustomed to be made happy and feel that their friends are welcome too1 they will not keep outside home for the pleasure that is to be found without crossing the threshold4 ,a billiard-room in winter1 a couple of good tennis-courts in summer1 and the hours of leisure will pass comfortably along1 and leave neither time nor opportunities for less desirable pleasures4 ,example is everything in a house3 a thousand sermons will not speak as loudly against betting1 and gambling1 and drink--the horrors of my existence--as will the example of a house where such things are never allowed1 and yet where amusements of all kinds are not frowned upon and refused1 where games are encouraged for their own sakes1 and where a healthy outdoor life replaces the bar-frequenting1 loafing hours1 which are all too often the portion of those who have been accustomed to #8nipping' and loafing1 because they have seen these two habits allowed as a matter of course from their earliest days4 ,and before ,i speak of the mere walls and furniture of a billiard-room let me impress upon my readers not to allow this room to be turned into a base imitation of a tap-room4 ,i am not a teetotaler1 and have small patience with those intolerant individuals whose language and statements are all too often as bad and violent as they are absolutely unreliable and untrue1 and ,i do not believe in the possibility of living our present eager and artificial existence without the aid of alcohol in some shape or the other1 certainly not after we have borne the heat and stress of the day1 and we require something stronger than water to sustain us1 but ,i do absolutely condemn the insane and insensate habit in which so many indulge nowadays of continually drinking between meals4 ,were stimulants taken at meals only1 were spirits1 with the exception of brandy 7which should be kept entirely as a most valuable medicine71 abolished1 we should have no drunkards1 and the teetotalers would lose all excuse for their most unpleasant and untruthful existences2 and as we now seldom see a drunkard in our streets1 and never contemplate the pleasing scenes which after dinner1 in our great-grandmothers' times1 were visible in many dining-rooms1 from which no gentleman ever issued to join the ladies1 because he was generally under the table or else fast asleep with both arms on it1 ,i am in great hopes that we are learning to be a sober nation1 though ,i hope sincerely never to see it an absolutely teetotal one1 for beer and wine are necessary1 ,i am convinced1 in our climate1 and we should be miserable indeed were we debarred1 as the fanatics would debar us1 from the use of all fermented or alcoholic drinks4 ,but we must be moderate and we must not drink between meals1 and we must avoid the constant sodas-and-brandies which appear inseparable from some billiard-rooms1 and to which is due1 no doubt1 the pious horror many good folks have of this chamber in a house2 and ,i should like it to be firmly understood that the room was for the game merely1 and that anything like #8nipping' would be at once and sternly discouraged4 ,this being satisfactorily settled1 we may proceed to plan and decorate our billiard-room with a clear conscience1 secure in the fact that we are simply providing a place for innocent amusement1 that will be of invaluable service at night and on wet ,saturday afternoons1 and that will not prove a snare and stumbling-block to any1 more especially if we as sternly refuse to allow gambling as we refuse to allow imbibing at odd moments of the day or night4 ,i am always astonished that no crusade has been raised against the national sin of gambling4 ,drink ruins the homes of poor men1 but not more certainly or rapidly than gambling ruins the homes of rich men1 and of men far from rich4 ,drink may kill a man1 but it takes a great many drunkards to imbibe an estate1 while one night's gambling may scatter the savings of a lifetime and turn all the wretched children of a selfish gambler into the streets to starve4 ,i have been horrified sometimes to see ladies and gentlemen hot1 eager1 excited1 gambling in private houses1 the host actually bent on winning from those who are enjoying his hospitality1 the hostess almost insulting her guests in her awful anxiety to gain the contents of their purses2 and ,i am convinced that the only way to escape this demon is to refuse to pander to it at all1 to never allow one single penny to be staked at cards in one's own house1 and to make this such a rule that it would be impossible to break it on any consideration whatever4 ,i have seen pennies played for which begat the taste for gambling for much larger sums2 and ,i have never seen a house where gambling was allowed truly prosper1 or be anything save the residence of those whose ideas and hopes were centred in this world only1 and never rose above the mere #8society' existence1 than which nothing can be more despicable and awful4 ,this book is not a tract1 and therefore ,i do not say one half ,i should like to on this subject2 but as ,i remember the ruined homes--one family especially1 where all are scattered and most are dead1 where gambling went on in the schoolroom and drawing-room alike1 at every moment which could be snatched for the purpose2 the broken hearts1 the miserably wrecked careers1 entirely due to this vice2 when one can hardly take up a paper without seeing the dreary fate of some wretched youth1 whose tendencies to betting and gaming have caused him to rob his master's till and landed him in penal servitude1 ,i must say ,i cannot help feeling astonished that the eager teetotalers do not try their hands at putting down gaming1 especially as they have the law on their side--the kind1 good1 well-devised law which snaps up little boys who play pitch-and-toss at the corners of the streets1 that winks at ,tattersall's and the big races1 and finally is utterly powerless to punish the high-class gamester1 who spends his nights at gaming-hells and ruins his home and his wretched constitution at the same time4 ,however1 lest ,i weary my readers in dwelling on this subject1 about which one cannot say too much1 ,i think ,i will now simply speak of the decoration of the billiard-room1 having1 ,i hope1 so judiciously sandwiched the powder between the jam in this chapter1 that those who seek for information about the room itself may unawares come upon it1 and so be forced to meditate1 whether they like it or not1 on some of the reasons why so many people dread the idea of a billiard-room where there are boys4 ,if gambling were non-existent1 the veriest ,chadband might learn to handle the cue2 while a pastor at a dissenting chapel need not dread the eyes of his deacons were he found disporting himself in the halls of the ungodly1 which would cease to be ungodly1 or be no more so than the harmless tennis-courts1 were betting eliminated from among their charms1 and nothing but the game itself really and truly encouraged and allowed4 ,a big room is a necessity for a billiard-room1 which should never1 by any chance1 be shorter than twenty-six feet long by twenty broad2 a full-sized table measures twelve feet by six1 and the size ,i have spoken of only allows sufficient comfortable room for walking round the table1 and for the usual raised seats which are always put at the ends and on one side of the room4 ,personally1 ,i should prefer a much larger room still1 as ,i like to see one end of the room furnished as a species of sitting-room2 but1 of course1 in ,london the twenty-six by twenty room would be ample4 ,in the country1 the billiard-table comes in for days when shooting is impossible1 and the sitting-room end there is a great advantage in more ways than one4 ,quite a charming billiard-room can be made by using all brown paint and a high dado1 to the top of the door1 of brown and gold ,japanese leather paper2 above the dado the wall should be painted caf-au-lait2 the cornice should be replaced by a coving1 which should terminate in a top-light1 from whence the ordinary cross-lights could be hung for use at night1 and these surely could be in beaten iron with some prettier shades than the hideous green things which match the equally hideous cloth1 which ,i hope to see replaced soon by something a little more artistic1 say in such a room as the one ,i have just described1 by a dull brown cloth1 which surely would be every bit as satisfactory as the green1 which is certainly the most aggressive shade of green which has ever been made4 ,in this case the shades could be blue1 with some lace over them1 or the yellow with no lace at all4 ,where the ceiling is coved1 the coving should always be decorated either with gold leather paper or by an artist's brush2 and ,i have seen most elaborately drawn pictures of the old wooden ships of ,henry ,,viii4's time in a similar coving1 in sepia on a cream ground1 which looked perfectly beautiful1 and which ,i should recommend in a similar room1 where stags' heads and other trophies of the chase should be arranged on the painted wall1 which should be too high for pictures1 which could not be hung on the dado either1 for fear of their being damaged by the ends of the cues4 ,i should advise the use of printed yellow linen for curtains1 edged1 of course1 with ball fringe1 were there any windows in the room beside the top-light1 which should have a gathered soft yellow blind arranged to draw over it in very hot weather2 while the table itself1 when not in use1 should be covered with a large square of yellow serge lined with ,american cloth1 with a big monogram embroidered on one corner2 this would preserve the table1 and look much better than the ordinary cloth4 ,the floor should be parqueterie with strips of velvet pile carpet in golden brown on the four sides2 these should be mitred at the corners1 and no other carpet would be required1 save1 of course1 a square if we had the drawing-room end to the room ,i advocated before2 if not1 the room should be kept for billiards only1 when the strips round the table would be quite sufficient2 the leather seats should be covered in brown leather1 and the fire should be protected by one of the admirable guards sold by ,benham ,co41 and which have padded tops1 on which people can sit and watch the game1 and get comfortably warm at the same time4 ,i have seen a most ingenious arrangement of small cupboards in the overmantel of a billiard-room1 which was pronounced invaluable for the safe storing away of cigars and tobacco1 which should be mentioned1 as of course smoking will be principally carried on in this room4 ,the mantel-piece was walnut1 and the fireplace the orthodox open grate and tiled hearth and back2 the overmantel was carved to match the mantel1 and was quite flat to the wall1 which had been scooped out in some manner behind it1 to allow of the formation of sundry square cupboards in the wall itself2 these each held a cedar-wood box of cigars1 with the front end off2 and the cigars were so arranged that they could be taken out one by one1 when the square wooden block in the overmantel1 which formed the entrance to the cupboard1 was unlocked1 and fell forward on a hinge4 ,no one could have suspected the overmantel of being a cupboard1 and yet it was one2 while at the same time this particular spot was especially pleasing1 ,i believe1 to the constitution of a cigar1 which appears to require a certain amount of warmth1 until it disappears finally into smoke1 leaving its terrible odour behind it4 ,on the mantel-piece itself were dull blue vases holding spills2 several ingenious and expensive match-boxes1 on which all matches appeared to me to refuse to ignite1 and the usual dbris one always finds in similar localities1 filthy-looking pipes1 old date stands1 and stands for holding the hunt appointments1 and similar expensive and broken toys1 being there in vast abundance4 ,another excellent manner of decorating a billiard-room1 where the owner had pictures to dispose of1 and did not want a very elaborate or costly decoration1 would be formed by papering the room entirely with real brown paper1 and painting the room the same soft brown2 a frieze should be added1 if possible1 of one of the ,japanese hand-painted friezes one can buy occasionally at any decorator's1 representing a flight of wild ducks1 or else of storks1 among reeds and flowers2 but if this cannot be either found or afforded1 a plain gold and brown ,japanese leather frieze would look well4 ,this should not be less than fourteen inches wide2 anything less is distinctly ugly2 while it might come almost to the top of the door1 which should be surmounted by one of ,wallace's simple over-doors to hold china1 which should be blue and white4 ,the curtains in this room should be ,liberty's very dark blue and white reversible cretonnes2 the chairs could be either dark blue leather or saddle-bags with dark blue velvet surrounds2 and the carpet should be dark blue pile4 ,this would look well1 and be an entirely pleasant scheme of decoration2 a hand-painted frieze on brown paper would also be capital if expense were no object4 ,yet another and a bolder decoration could be made by using ,essex golden #8,othmar' paper1 with ,mandarin paint1 and a wide frieze of the dull green #8,othmar1' dull green carpets1 and ,graham ,biddle's beautiful yellow poppy cretonne1 edged with dull green ball fringe1 and lined dull green2 the carpet should be the dull green #8,stella' pile carpet from ,wallace's1 and all the chairs should be dull green leather4 ,if by chance there can be afforded or managed a drawing-room end to the billiard-room1 a couple of screens will be found most invaluable2 and if these screens have a long spike in each fold1 to receive which a corresponding hole is bored in the floor1 a great objection to screens will be done away with4 ,furnished with these spikes1 which should be able to be unscrewed and removed quite easily1 they could not possibly be knocked over2 and1 in my opinion1 the tall standard lamps1 which are so much in request just at present1 should be furnished with similar spikes1 as they always appear to me dreadfully dangerous1 especially where there are children1 or even dogs1 or careless servants2 for though1 of course1 the danger of fire is entirely done away with if we use ,defries's excellent patent for putting out the light as the lamp falls1 the oil must be spilt and damage the carpet1 while an unpleasant smash and fright are absolutely certain4 ,we should be saved anything of the kind were my simple spike arrangement adopted by all those who use these lamps4 ,the drawing-room end of the billiard-room should have a bow window with a seat round1 several cosy arm-chairs1 a table capable of holding the week's supply of newspapers and the month's supply of magazines1 each in its own proper corner1 and a couple of serviceable paper-knives should be always forthcoming4 ,there should be a nice little writing-table for the use of any who wish to scribble notes2 and1 above all1 there should be either a long bookcase on the wall full of frivolous literature1 or else one of ,trbner's excellent bookcases1 which revolve and so allow one to reach any book in the case without rising from one's comfortable seat4 ,a venerable piano which has seen better days is no mean addition to the comfort and pleasure of the billiard-room1 and many an hilarious and impromptu entertainment has chased away the melancholy caused by a wet afternoon in the dismal winter country1 due entirely to the happy presence among the company of a piano which was quite good enough to be used to accompany comic songs on1 and amply good enough to form the basis for a recitation after--a long way after--,corney ,grain or the immortal ,john ,parry4 ,but though a big room is much better than a small one for billiards1 people should not be deterred from having a table in their houses because their space does not allow of a full-sized one4 ,the very nicest billiard-room ,i was ever in1 and which1 alas6 is now no more1 was that formed by using the square hall of a country vicarage2 that table existed before the present age of artistic decorations1 but whenever ,i remember it and the dear old house in which it stood ,i forget all art1 and only remember the extreme fascination that place had for me1 and can scent again the mingled odours of the vicar's pipes and ,marchal ,niel roses1 which are inseparable from my remembrance of the place4 ,the table stood squarely in the front hall1 which was covered with brown linoleum1 and was seldom unmarked by dogs' feet for more than five minutes after it had been freshly washed1 and we used to perch about on the tops of oak chests1 the fender1 anywhere1 while the game progressed1 as there was no room for seats4 ,in addition to the hall table1 the hat-stand1 decorated with all sorts and conditions of hats1 male and female1 and the oak chests1 one of which held the rugs and whips1 the other the parish registers from some very bygone date1 the walls themselves were decorated with stuffed birds and animals in glass cases1 sundry collars and chains belonging to the dear dogs1 driving-whips suspended in some cunning manner to keep them in shape1 a barometer which survived the most fearful amount of banging and shaking that ever barometer was subjected to1 and finally by the post-bag1 which hung from a nail until it was fetched by a small village girl who rejoiced in the remarkable name of #8,rhody ,jemimy1' who had to take and fetch the bag morning and evening from the #8,world's ,end1' the mail-cart bringing it and taking it from and to that mysterious location1 for we were far too primitive in those parts to have a postman1 and had our one post a day contentedly enough1 though ,i believe the present denizen of the vicarage has clamoured until he has not only a postman but a second post2 albeit1 neither were ever required by us1 who were perfectly happy in those blessed days without them4 ,i dwell upon this room rather at length in order to encourage anyone who may hanker after a billiard-room1 and not dare to think of it seriously because the necessary twenty feet by twenty space is not forthcoming1 and1 moreover1 because they dread the expense as much as the want of room4 ,of course a new full-sized table is a very expensive thing1 and fittings and all could not cost less than #aejl42 but as soon as we have made up our minds that we can really have a billiard-table we must begin to look out for the sales1 for very often there are compulsory sales about1 where a very good billiard-table can be purchased for a quarter the price of a new one4 ,i have known one sold for #bel41 as the owner had forgotten to renew his lease and was given summary notice of dismissal1 while a friend of mine bought a beauty for #djl4 which simply required a little polish about the legs to be quite as good as new2 but should money be of no real object1 it would be better to go to some really first-class maker and have the table properly set up and made1 for ,i believe there is great art in the proper placing of the table1 and this should only be undertaken by someone who thoroughly understands the business2 still1 in a small room1 and with a small and second-hand table1 there may be found vast enjoyment if the bigger and more elaborate arrangement cannot possibly be managed4 ,i am always amused at some people's determination not to be either happy1 or complete in their household arrangements1 because they cannot have the best of everything that is to be had1 though ,i must confess such conduct makes me just a little cross as well4 ,i have known folks utterly refuse to contemplate the joys of a jolly little pony and chaise because they didn't care to set up a carriage unless they could do so properly2 #8properly' in their case meaning the orthodox coachman1 footman1 horses1 and a couple of carriages2 whereas they condemned themselves to their own immediate neighbourhood and to tramping about the lanes1 or to staying at home1 because they could not understand that as much pleasure could be got out of the #8shay' as out of anything still more gorgeous4 ,i have known folks decline with scorn to cover their ugly1 depressing1 bare walls with pictures1 because they could not buy ,millais and ,herkomers2 whereas their lives and their houses would have been brightened at once had they spent #bjl4 on autotypes4 ,and ,i have as constantly been acquainted with dozens of folks who would not do this1 that1 or the other1 because they must take a back seat so to speak1 and who in consequence waste half their opportunities4 ,i except society1 by the way2 if the best society is not forthcoming 7and by the best society ,i mean the society of people who are clever and who have done1 or long to do something to make the world brighter and happier than they found it71 don't have any4 ,the contact with mean1 small1 and ignorant minds does one harm1 not good2 the constant rubbing against time-serving shoulders and the shoulders of those who would do any amount of grovelling to be received by what they consider the society of the neighbourhood1 only smirches us1 and we had better sit at home all our lives with our books alone than expose ourselves to the deterioration we receive from association with such folk4 ,but1 apart from society1 ,i would rather have the second or third best of everything if ,i can't have the first1 for the more one gets out of life the better1 and the more one sees of the world and of the nice people in it the wider do our minds become1 and the more appreciation and enjoyment do we have from our lives4 ,with the plea for a secondhand billiard-table rather than none1 ,i will turn away from the room with one last suggestion--viz4 to have good thick curtains hung over any doors that there may be in the room1 outside2 this will keep the smell of the smoke within proper bounds1 and will also keep out the sound of the click-click of the balls1 than which nothing is more annoying--to me at any rate4 ,these curtains could be made of ,adams serge lined with ,bolton sheeting2 both these materials will wash and are to be had from ,burnett's1 and should be very wide and full1 and should hang well over the hinges and cracks of the door2 these should further be surrounded by #8,slater's patent' for excluding draughts1 as naturally the room will be properly ventilated1 and there would be no need to think of that1 all our care being centred on keeping in the room all scent of the smoke and all sound of the balls4 ,if the room is separate from the house1 and only connected with it by a long passage1 we may consider1 ,i think1 that nothing more is to be expected1 and that here is indeed the perfect billiard-room4 ,this room should be in the care of the head housemaid1 whose first duty should be to open all the available windows every morning1 no matter what the weather is like1 to see all the cigar-ash is swept up1 and finally to slip the curtains off the poles 7a matter of three minutes exactly71 to have them well shaken out of doors and left there for half an hour1 having them replaced the moment the room is cleaned and set straight4 ,treated like this the billiard-room would always be fresh and nice1 and would have no more smell of smoke about it than would be pleasantly suggestive to anyone who is not such a bitter enemy to smoke as ,i am4 ,and now about the library1 the arrangement of which must depend entirely on the individual tastes and pursuits of the master of the house1 whose room this is more especially2 for in all big houses the mistress has her morning-room1 and the guests generally are provided with writing-tables in their rooms1 and would only venture into the library when the door was open1 or by the rule of the house was made free to them during certain hours4 ,naturally1 if the master were in no measure a literary man1 if he had no ,parliamentary work1 or work that required him to isolate himself from the rest of the household at certain hours1 the room would always be free2 but it should be kept for writing and reading only1 it should never be turned into a play-room of any kind2 therefore there should be a certain sobriety about it1 and it should not be furnished too frivolously or in such a manner as to suggest flirtation instead of study1 sweet sleep instead of proper1 severe application to one's books4 ,perhaps the very prettiest library ,i have ever seen is one in ,london1 which may sound frivolous1 but is nothing of the kind1 and has some of the most serious work of the nation done between its four walls2 it is enamelled white--doors1 cupboards1 bookshelves1 overmantel1 indeed everything1 and has a most beautiful effect1 especially against the dun-coloured1 gold-tinted calf volumes1 with which the shelves are most amply supplied2 the shelves are supported on cupboards with brass locks and hinges1 and are wide and deep enough to hold quantities of law papers2 all these shelves and cupboards are #8fitments' passing completely round the room1 and continuing under the windows4 ,the only scraps of wall which show are papered with a very good ,japanese leather paper1 and the space above the mantel-piece is filled in with an old portrait2 sundry pieces of blue china are on the mantel-piece1 which are never without their fresh flowers2 the carpet is a very fine ,oriental one1 with a great deal of white in it2 the furniture is blue1 as are the curtains1 which are arranged across the top of each window and down one side only1 while the enormous desk which occupies the centre of the room is a most exquisitely inlaid piece of marqueterie1 and is the only coloured thing in the room1 the frames of the chairs1 c41 being enamelled like the room itself4 ,now this white idea for a library in ,london--dirty1 smoky ,london--does seem absurd and a trifle frivolous1 but the effect thereof is perfect1 and as the application of a damp clean duster and a polish from a leather makes the room absolutely spotless1 ,i see no reason why the white library should be scoffed at as an impossibility4 ,a big beaten iron and copper lamp from ,strode hangs in the centre of the room1 and gives the finishing touch to a very perfect apartment4 ,here the room is used for important work which requires absolute peace and absolute solitude1 where the books refer to the special subject of study1 and would be of no interest whatever to the ordinary man4 ,still1 a modified edition of the white room could easily be carried out1 and would be far more cheerful to live with1 than the orthodox dark green and carved oak1 or a base imitation thereof that we find in far too many houses2 oak1 in my opinion1 being utterly unsuited to a modern house1 and should only be used in a big old house where one looks for it as a matter of course4 ,of the modern imitation called ,flemish oak ,i have no words of condemnation sufficiently strong2 it is abominable1 ugly1 heavy1 and badly executed1 and should never be tolerated in any house where artistic decoration is encouraged and sought after4 ,if1 as ,i said before1 the master of the house does not require so much space for papers or books as to authorise him to cover in the entire wall-space at his command with fitments1 ,i advise him to run his bookcases simply round the room to a height of an ordinary dado4 ,above this could be hung the ever-useful ,japanese paper1 or a real red-and-white paper1 such as is ,pither's #8buttercup4' ,on the wall could be hung pictures1 or a large cupboard well designed 7and ,i should suggest ,mr4 ,arthur ,smee as the proper person to send to for this7 should break the space of wall in the centre4 ,the doors could be of cathedral glass in leaded squares1 with broad brass hinges and locks2 while the same design1 of course on a much smaller scale1 could be introduced over the mantel-piece4 ,the desk could be enamelled white1 and the top covered with ,japanese leather paper4 ,of course the handles on the drawers must be brass2 the blotting-book could be of red leather1 with a plain monogram stamped on1 or else the name of the room and of the house2 and the head housemaid should be very particular about the state of the inkstand and of the blotting-book1 though she should be forbidden1 of course1 to touch any of the papers on the desk1 for fear she might lose important manuscripts4 ,the mistress of the house should dust these herself if the master is touchy1 or objects to other hands meddling with his belongings4 ,the curtains in a library should be thick and warm1 and should1 in the red-and-cream room1 be in cream ,roman satin1 embroidered with red flowers if possible1 or else of deep red ,roman satin or ,bokhara plush4 ,the furniture sold by ,hampton1 covered in what they call #8,khelims1' but which is quite unlike the ordinary striped material ,i have always purchased as such1 and is much more ,oriental-looking1 would do admirably in this room1 where there should certainly be a couple of good sofas and four or five armchairs1 and a small writing-table and chair beside the bigger one2 while great care should be taken with the lighting1 it being most important that a good light should fall on the book or writing-table1 which should throw no fidgety shadows4 ,when the electric light becomes general this advice will not be necessary1 but until it is great care must be taken1 before the lights are absolutely fixtures1 to ascertain that they are in the right place1 or else the unfortunate would-be readers and writers will be continually annoyed4 ,the large standard lamps are useful in a library1 as they can be moved at any moment1 and further care should be taken in the choice of a carpet1 which should be thick and soft1 and should cover almost all the floor1 thus saving the student any chance of being fidgeted by the sudden scroop of a chair pushed hastily back or by the noise of a falling book or of a sudden footstep4 ,in a small house a library would be impossible1 and therefore ,i give no directions for a cheaper style of decoration1 which1 however1 could be managed in judiciously chosen shades of green and white1 and ,i will only now speak about the books and the manner of treating such a room4 ,no child or very young person1 and no servant1 no matter whom1 should ever be allowed to read the library books1 which should never under any pretext whatever be removed from the library1 and should consist of histories1 travels1 poetry1 and all standard works that have survived the fiery trial of a twenty years' existence2 the lighter works of to-day1 which one reads when one is tired or wants simply to be amused1 should be found in the billiard and morning rooms1 and in every spare room in the house 7,mudie's books being also in these rooms71 and on no account whatever should a really good book which forms part of a set1 or is valuable1 be lent2 listen to no entreaties1 place the book in the room at the disposal of anyone who cares to read it1 but lend it and you may and will run the risk of losing your book1 or of having to torment for it1 until your friend hates you1 although in strict justice he ought to hate himself for the trouble he has given you4 ,in every library and1 indeed1 in every house1 there should be a list of the books in each room1 and whenever a book is added the name thereof should be written down4 ,i speak feelingly1 if a little bitterly1 on the subject1 for no one has lent more books than ,i have1 and no one has been more ruthlessly robbed2 for people who would be absolutely incapable of depriving one of a pin1 lose and forget to return my books1 and at last ,i have come to the conclusion that ,i will never lend another2 books are cheap enough1 goodness knows1 and libraries swarm2 let people borrow there1 and close your heart to the would-be borrower if you want to keep your books1 and not scatter them generously about the world at large4 ,again1 ,i should never forbid anyone to read any book whatever--a prohibition makes people anxious at once2 but the fact that the library books must be kept in the library would deter the children from reading what they ought not1 and we would forbid certain literature because of its binding1 not because of the contents2 this ,i have found act much better than the wholesale orders we were given on the subject1 in consequence of which ,i had read all ,defoe's1 ,richardson's1 ,fielding's1 and other works ,i should never have seen before ,i was sixteen1 and wondered why on earth they were forbidden me4 ,i should never have read one of them had ,i not wanted to see why ,i must not2 they did me no harm1 because ,i could not understand them2 they might have done infinite harm to any other girl who was less babyish for her age than ,i happened in some mysterious manner to be1 and therefore it is a good thing to keep such books where children do not come and where they are forbidden to touch books which are too well bound to be risked in their all-too-generally grimy little paws4 ,as in all the other rooms in the house1 cheerfulness should be first thought of3 a gloomy library1 a library where the windows are obscured1 is a mistake2 cheerfulness is the first thing to be seriously cultivated by us all1 in all relations of life1 for it is indeed true1 as the poet says-- ,a merry heart goes all the way1 ,a sad one tires in a mile-a2 therefore1 in choosing and furnishing the library1 remember this axiom1 and let sunshine and brightness and cheerfulness be found there1 as in every other room and place in the house2 for we are insensibly and immensely influenced by our surroundings1 and we should always make the best of our lives and belongings in every way we possibly can4 ,,chapter ,v4 ,,shall ,,we ,,do ,,away ,,with ,,the ,,nursery8 ,it is a hard moment in the life of any woman when she has to make up her mind that she cannot any longer consistently retain one of the best rooms in the house for the nursery1 more especially if she has been able to realise her ambition1 and to give to her children an ideal chamber1 where beauty and suitable arrangements for their comfort have been duly studied4 ,i know nothing sadder than an empty nursery4 ,the children1 who were as much our own as anything on this earth can ever be1 have ceased to be children4 ,they are still ours1 but they are independent creatures2 our care is no longer absolutely necessary to them4 ,some may even have married1 and others may be trying their wings by some short flights from the home that will always be theirs1 even if they do not care to return to it4 ,but1 in any case1 they are no longer the dear little mites whose tiny ailments kept us awake at night1 whose clothes and education were our unceasing care1 and who found their heaven in our presence1 believing honestly and thankfully that all they had came from us1 and that we were without a flaw1 as omnipotent as we were faultless4 ,the most melancholy part of middle age is this being left behind by our children1 the eagerness on their parts to live their own lives and begin their own career4 ,but it should not be sad1 as it is only what happened to our parents1 after all1 and will happen again in the future generation4 ,but all the same1 it must be a hardened heart indeed that can contemplate an empty nursery and have no other thoughts than how best to decorate or use the room for a totally different purpose4 ,there is a peculiar serrement de cur1 which1 once experienced1 can never be forgotten1 when we enter a room made sacred to us by a thousand dreams and romances--a thousand dreads and fears we have never spoken of to any soul on earth1 and have to consider how best we can alter it to another purpose4 ,i remember1 years ago1 going to see a house in which we had had many1 many happy hours1 and which had just passed from those we knew and loved to persons in an inferior station of life1 with whom we should never have any dealings1 and ,i have never forgotten the feeling of desolation that seized me when ,i looked up at the erstwhile nursery window1 from which the bars were hanging broken1 and remembered the faces that used never to be absent from that place--a feeling that was intensified a thousand times when ,i climbed up to the room itself1 and looked for the last time on the walls1 papered by ourselves with pictures from the #8,illustrated ,news' 7,i can remember them all vividly1 from the marriage of the ,princess ,royal in one corner to pictures of the ,american ,war in the other71 and recollected the boys who were all out in the world1 each busy with his own life1 with whom ,i had played1 ridden1 eaten far too much fruit in the sunny garden below the nursery windows 7where ,i verily believe it was always fine and hot71 and with whom ,i had risen at dawn in many a misty ,september morning1 bent on collecting a great dish of mushrooms for breakfast1 to surprise the house-mother with--a surprise that she must have been well accustomed to1 but which she never failed to express2 she knew we should have been so disappointed had she seemed in the least degree to expect the never-failing dish1 though she had a hard struggle to be duly elated and not say one word about the draggled skirts and wringing wet stockings and boots1 which she knew were reposing upstairs and would be shown to her in due course and with much wrath by ,susan1 to whose lot it always fell to remedy our dilapidations1 which she used to say were always worse when ,i was there to rush about with the boys and lead them into mischief and dirt of all kinds4 ,there can be nothing more extinct on this earth than that dear old nursery1 closed nearly twenty years ago and utterly swept away1 but ,i can never think of it without becoming young again--without being the eldest of that small flock and worshipped as only five small boys can worship a ,london cousin much older than themselves1 who yet could enter into all their games and excursions with the zest of a girl who has never tried living in the country1 and sees only the poetical side of it2 and without remembering the happiest of happy homes1 where ,i cannot recollect a cross word1 a disagreeable day1 or anything but the noise of the boys rushing about1 the scent of a thousand flowers1 the planning of a hundred picnics1 and a delightful sense of summer and sunshine that can never be forgotten1 and that has influenced more lives than mine--more even than the generous1 hospitable master and mistress will ever know--though perhaps he does in the rest he won so worthily and in the ,heaven that must hold anyone who was as generous and good as he was to the many1 many relations with whom he filled his house1 and to whom he always gave a hearty welcome4 ,but no doubt there are a great many other nurseries just like this one--and1 indeed1 ,i know of several--so ,i would beg my readers to bear with me while ,i speak of these rooms1 and beg them not to make a clean sweep of the nursery altogether until they are positively obliged to do so1 not because there may be other babies to come1 but because the nursery is useful for a thousand things1 and it makes such a dreadful difference in a house when the room is completely altered and turned into a room for the maid who takes the place of the nurse1 perhaps1 or into a sitting-room for the girls or boys4 ,don't let this be done1 dear readers1 until you are absolutely crowded out1 because you will be miserable1 and because you can never tell that the room may not be wanted as a sanitorium2 an upstairs sitting-room1 a refuge for our grandchildren1 should we have married children1 and should they be coming to stay with us1 and bring their babies in due course of time2 while the room having been decorated and furnished as a nursery is that and nothing else1 and would have to be completely altered1 should we settle to do away with it altogether4 ,now1 ,i want you to look just for a moment at the picture ,i have had drawn here of an empty nursery and see how admirably it is adapted for the purpose1 and how cruel it would be to sweep away all these corners and shelves4 ,you will notice how the cupboard fills in the recess between the fire and the wall1 and you will see how a doll's-house should be arranged1 and then1 ,i am sure1 you will think twice about weeding out all this1 and doing away with things that may give pleasure to future generations1 particularly when we must all number among our acquaintances people with children1 who come to tea1 and will enjoy their tea twice as much if the children can be relegated to old nurse and the room where all is prepared for the small guests1 who will for the moment take the place of those who are still children to us1 albeit they are as old as we were when we began housekeeping ourselves1 and set up a nursery with the pride and consequence inseparable from that most important step2 while we can look hopefully forward to other small visitors who will be delighted to play with #8mother's old toys1' and to hear things about that mother's childhood1 which can only be told them by an authority on the subject4 ,the nursery ,i have had sketched here is1 of course1 a much more expensive and elaborate room than could be suggested to folks with small incomes1 but will serve as an example1 ,i hope even in little houses1 although1 as those were amply catered for in my first book1 ,i do not feel so bound to consider them as ,i did then4 ,i should always have a real dado in any nursery4 ,the one used here is of ,indian matting1 which is as neat and clean after ten years' use as it was the day it was put up4 ,by the way1 a dado should be secured at the top with rather a heavier rail than the one illustrated1 and this should be screwed on1 not nailed4 ,the screws can be removed at any moment1 and the dado taken down4 ,in the case of a cretonne dado this could be washed at any moment1 while stuff or matting could be brushed or shaken2 but ,i have taken down matting after ten years on a wall1 which was sized before the matting was put up1 and have never found the smallest dirt behind it1 while the wall remained absolutely intact for that space of time1 and1 indeed1 is as good as new now1 after fifteen years' wear1 at least1 ,i hear it is2 unfortunately we have moved twice since then1 and ,i cannot possibly inspect the matting to verify this statement for myself as ,i should like to do2 but ten years is a long time1 and1 in these roving days of ours1 when all too rarely do houses descend from father to son1 is quite space enough for most of us4 ,above the matting--which should be the kind sold by ,treloar1 in ,ludgate ,circus1 for #ces4 the roll of #dj yards--can be put any pretty blue paper4 ,pither's new blue bay-tree paper1 at #as4 #f;d41 is charming1 and is of a colour that ,illustration3 ,,fig4 #ae4--;,an ,empty ,nursery4 we never tire of4 ,the paint could be the same shade of blue2 the tiny cornice should be coloured cream1 and the ceiling paper should be ,maple's cheap yellow and white one1 at #d;d4 a piece4 ,this could be cleaned twice a year with stale bread1 and1 as it is so cheap1 could be replaced the moment it showed signs of becoming in the least degree shabby4 ,the best toys could be arranged round the room on the shelf1 which could be painted blue1 and further appropriate decorations could be made by tennis rackets and skipping ropes if desired1 albeit ,i should prefer a picture there of some kind or other1 or else a lamp hanging out over the fireplace1 beyond the reach of little fingers which might hanker after the fascinating occupation of lowering the light or putting it up to such an extent that the glass might be smashed in less than no time4 ,the short curtains and absence of blinds which ,i always advocate1 and which idea has been largely copied and adopted1 are just indicated in the picture1 as is the long straight seat under the windows1 which would take the place of the sofa if there were not room for one2 but the useful serge or arras cloth should be used instead of cretonne here1 as cretonne so soon gets out of order in a place which is so much used as such a window-seat might be4 ,corduroy velveteen would also make an admirable covering1 and would always be1 in a measure1 tidy4 ,it is possible to make these window-seats do double duty as a seat and also as a box1 for instead of the front being a #8hollow mockery1' as it is when it is a simple frill and nothing else1 it could be a wooden box1 and the seat could be a padded lid1 which could lift up and down4 ,a small frill nailed on the top of the seat would conceal the opening1 and the front of the box could be covered with frilled material like small organ pipes4 ,this would hold any quantity of work1 old books1 magazines1 and rubbish generally3 rubbish which is of no use at all1 but is absolutely priceless to the little owners4 ,i think anyone who has ever owned a dolls'-house will admire my idea for a fixed one1 because all who have ever possessed a similar abode must have occasionally pulled it down about the ears when engaged in an orthodox game with this most fascinating toy1 at least it used to be fascinating in my day2 judging from my two girls no one can care now for them1 for the beauty we had has long since gone to a hospital1 owing to the absolute indifference with which its many charms were treated by our children4 ,but if there still exist any small maidens who treat their houses as we used to1 ,i am sure this arrangement of cupboard shelves with a real house front and a flap to let down1 properly painted of course like a hall door1 with windows above1 must commend itself to them4 ,the flap makes a table for dolls' meals and parties1 and is very useful for house cleaning1 which delightful occupation invariably occurred in my day every ,saturday regularly2 but then we used to cover up our furniture with dust-sheets when we went to the seaside1 and1 furthermore1 always deposited our wills in the drawing-room bureau under the same adventurous and dangerous circumstances1 sealing the house at one side with the device of a dove bearing an olive-branch in its mouth1 so that we might be quite sure profane hands had not meddled with our house or our possessions during our absence4 ,i do not know if in these grown-up days of ours1 and of competitive examinations and women's rights1 there is time or inclination either for elaborate games1 such as we used to play over the dolls'-house1 but ,i hope there is1 as nothing is more truly engaging than such a possession1 for which netting new curtains1 and making new furniture1 even occupied the boys1 while1 of course1 we were never tired of altering and arranging and making too4 ,little as ,i work or care for working1 ,i am sure ,i should enjoy making a ,berlin-wool carpet now for someone#8s dolls'-house1 only1 unfortunately1 ,i don't know anyone who has one4 ,i should not require a pattern2 ,i remember the black diamonds accurately1 each diamond being filled with a different coloured wool1 making a tout ensemble to be feared1 indeed1 in these sthetic days of ours4 ,many a wet afternoon has been happily passed in washing and #8getting up' our net curtains for the windows1 in rearranging them and tying them up with ribands bought at ,whiteley's1 when it was one wee shop served by the ,universal ,provider himself and two girls1 for which we saved our money2 and ,i sincerely believe my first love of decoration and adornment of the house was fostered1 if it were not born1 of the intense attachment ,i had for my dolls'-house1 at the desk of which ,i wrote my first attempt at poetry--and very awful it was--and to whose sheltering care ,i confided many a packet of ,,mss41 which ,i was always going to submit to a publisher1 but which paucity of stamps kept safely in the dolls'-house until ,i was old enough to know what utter rubbish ,i had written1 and how worthily it would have been rapidly entombed in the waste-paper basket4 ,below the dolls'-house illustrated there is a drawer1 which can hold any amount of odds and ends1 and of course the whole side of the room could be dolls'-house if cupboard space were not required1 but1 as it may be1 the cupboard is shown above the house1 decorated with a spray of flowers1 painted by someone who knows how to paint2 not by any amateur dauber1 for you must never allow bad art in your nursery1 even if you know it will have to be done away with in a comparatively short time4 ,the other side of the fireplace can be another cupboard2 this should be treated exactly like the one shown1 of course without the dolls'-house4 ,this will give ample space for all the nursery belongings1 for no one should be allowed to hoard1 though a certain amount of rubbish should always be winked at1 but broken toys and torn books should be mended and patched--capital work that for wet days--and should always be sent off to the omnivorous ,sisters at ,kilburn1 who can use anything1 it doesn't matter what1 and who will welcome as treasures what the children will no longer use2 therefore nothing should be thrown away4 ,nurses and children alike all enjoy mending and making for the ,kilburn orphans1 if only they are told about them and asked to take an interest in the good work done there4 ,i have looked about all over ,london1 ,i think1 since writing my first book to find a suitable floor-covering for the nursery1 and have not satisfied myself quite that ,i have done it4 ,i cannot like or in any way advise linoleum there4 ,it is cold1 ugly1 and there is an undeniable odour about it that never leaves it1 and therefore ,i do not like to see it in a room which should always be as pretty as we can make it4 ,i think1 therefore1 it is best to buy a square carpet1 with either a border or else a good woollen fringe round1 and put this down over carpet felt4 ,wallace's #8blue anemone' ,brussels carpet1 at #cs4 #aa;d4 a yard1 would wear some years1 or a cheaper carpet still might be had in the #8blue lily1' at #cs4 #i;d41 wide width2 but ,i should prefer the ,brussels for really hard wear4 ,the staining round the room should not be more than #ab inches wide1 and should be done with ,jackson's varnish stains4 ,when the stained boards begin to get shabby the nursemaid can paint them over herself with some stain1 and they can be kept in order by a weekly polish from the stuff sold by ,jackson for the purpose4 ,half a gallon of the stain is sufficient for a margin round a good-sized room4 ,this would cost #fs41 and proper directions for applying the stains are sent out with them4 ,personally1 ,i prefer the dark oak or walnut stain to any of the others4 ,there should never be a hearth-rug in any room2 but ,i must again state this in connection with the nursery1 it would only cause accidents1 and would serve at least to conceal the depredations of a careless nursemaid1 who cannot refrain from making that portion of the carpet filthy with carelessness when she is doing the grate if she should be provided with a rug with which to cover up her sins4 ,the carpet can be turned round to ensure equal wear if the square is made as suggested1 and should last quite ten years1 which is as long as any carpet should be allowed to last1 in my opinion2 an older carpet being a repository of dirt and dust1 and therefore cannot be healthy1 a reason why ,i should never advocate very expensive carpets1 as ,i much prefer to be able to have a new one without too much exertion on my part1 especially in bedrooms1 and in such rooms as nurseries and schoolrooms4 ,i am1 however1 again describing a nursery1 and this instead of calmly discussing how best to do away with it2 but ,i will make a confession here1 and then ,i fear ,i shall show how bad an advocate ,i should prove were ,i called in to advise how best to do away with this room1 which in all real homes is the very heart of the household4 ,for be it known to my readers1 that1 as my youngest child was eight years old1 ,i determined1 ,spartan-like1 to do away with the nursery1 and converted the room into a sitting and sleeping room for my nurse1 who was henceforth to act as maid2 the young person1 who was as her own baby1 being taken from her and sent to share her sister's rooms1 one of which was to be part school1 part sitting room2 but we were all so uncomfortable ,i had no heart to continue the arrangement4 ,when small friends came to tea there was nowhere for them to go2 wet days were things to be dreaded because the child had no real place of her own for her things1 and1 after struggling on for nearly a year1 we have returned to the nursery1 although we try our hardest to call it school-room1 and are now so much happier in consequence4 ,another problem--should we do away with the nursery--is1 ,what is to become of the nurse8 ,you may call her a maid and give her your garments to look after1 and tell her she must now take on her the work of a maid1 but she will never do this properly2 she will miss her room and her occupation1 and she will move about miserably1 missing the children and yet not knowing what she misses1 and will neither be useful nor pleasant4 ,but leave her her nursery1 and one child if possible1 and she will be quite happy2 and1 much as we may hanker after a maid1 the ideal creature who shall never have to be told that buttons are off or skirts torn1 who shall make our every-day dresses and retrim our bonnets1 we owe something to the nurse who has looked after the children at the worst and most critical time of their lives1 and are bound1 if we cannot afford the two luxuries1 to sacrifice the maid and cling to the nurse4 ,and be quite sure if we do we shall be rewarded2 the children may be grown up1 but even grown-up folks have colds and headaches1 and sometimes worse ailments than these1 and who so fit to keep watch over these ailments as the nurse1 who has gallantly steered us through measles1 whooping-cough1 and the thousand ailments other people's selfishness is always handing on from generation to generation8--no one1 surely2 and if she and the nursery are retained together1 there is always someone who knows what to do in an emergency1 and a place to go to to be petted and quieted and made much of1 as only a nurse can do who has had her nurslings from the first and loves them as only their mother and nurse know how to love4 ,we have two such nurses in our family3 ,i one1 my sister the other1 and ,i can never advise doing away with any nursery when ,i remember all that this may probably mean to others beside the householders themselves4 ,in a large house1 therefore--a house where1 let us hope1 people mean to stay some years--this is an extra reason for making the nursery as pretty as possible4 ,one cannot be very sentimental over a schoolroom2 there is always a suspicion of ogre's castle about that room1 and it can invariably be turned into the girls' sitting-room or into a billiard-room at the earliest opportunity1 but all the sentiment of the home is to be found in the nursery1 where the children are without a care or a trouble1 and where they are gaining strength and health for the battle of life2 therefore1 let us never grudge any money we can afford being spent upon the nursery4 ,as ,i said before1 ,i always consider blue by far the pleasantest colour to live with1 which is one reason why ,i advocate blue in the nursery2 but of course endless combinations of colour could be had which would be equally pleasing and successful1 but not as nice to live with always4 ,however1 ,i will give one or two which might perhaps be liked better by people who are not as fully convinced as ,i am on the merits of blue4 ,a pink and cream nursery would be pretty and bright1 and could be managed by using ,pither's cream and pink bay-tree paper1 all cream paint1 and a dado2 the dado of ,haines' anaglypta1 painted cream1 the ceiling paper should be ,j4 ,h4 ,land's green and white #8,watteau' ceiling1 at #cs41 the carpet should be either the green #8lily1' or #8,stella1' or #8anemone1' from ,wallace1 and the cretonne should be ,oetzmann's sage-green #8alg' cretonne1 at #as4 #c;d41 the muslin curtains being1 if possible1 of ,helbronner's pink and green #8lily' muslin1 an expensive muslin but a very lovely one1 which would complete the room nicely4 ,the furniture should be ash and as simple as possible1 and the flowers on the cupboard should be the pink flowering rush with slender reeds1 and a few pale ,marguerites4 ,yet another decoration could be made by using a high dado of ,liberty's nut-brown arras cloth1 at #i;d4 a yard2 this would be sufficiently high to allow of the toy-shelf being used instead of a dado-rail2 above this the paper should be ,pither's #8,buttercup1 ,c1' at #bs4 #f;d41 a dull yellow-brown paper2 all the paint should be #8golden-brown1' the ceiling paper should be yellow and white1 the curtains yellow #8,venetian' cretonne1 reversible1 at #as4 #a;d41 clear ,indian muslin underneath1 and the carpet should be ,pither's golden-brown cottage carpet4 ,this scheme sounds dull1 but were anyone so unfortunate as to be condemned to use a sunless room as a nursery1 she would find this arrangement would bring the sunshine into the room in a remarkable manner2 while dark-blue curtains1 carpet1 and coverings would make the room less severe and be equally satisfactory1 more especially if ,colbourne's ,hawthorne muslin in yellow and white were placed next the window4 ,still1 in a sunless room1 one cannot have too much yellow2 yellow serge would be found useful here for curtains should the windows be large1 or a draught come in which would be too much for the cretonne to keep out1 though cretonne should always be lined with ,burnett's sateen at #g;d4 a yard1 and for a nursery should be edged with frills2 the ball-fringe is really too tempting for small children1 who cannot resist the delights of pulling off the little tufts wherever they are within reach of their fingers4 ,a most successful decoration1 if rather a dainty one1 was carried out under my directions the other day1 and may be mentioned here1 as variety is always pleasing to some minds1 and it may be liked by those who approve of bright colours2 it consisted in staining all the woodwork with ,jackson's malachite green stain and papering the walls with ,pither's admirable red and cream #8buttercup' paper1 the ceiling being papered with a pale green and white paper2 the floor was covered with a green drugget from ,barr ,elliott's1 at #bs4 a yard1 wide width1 which is wearing admirably1 and all the furniture was in quaint stained wood from ,mr4 ,armitage1 examples of which are illustrated in the chapter on kitchens2 the settle1 table1 and chairs1 being all made by him1 as were the mantel and over-mantel2 in the centre of this latter piece of furniture was placed a square of looking-glass1 though ,i personally should have preferred a good autotype in the red tints4 ,the tiles in the grate were red1 and there was the orthodox high fender with brass rails1 which should never be wanting in any room where there are children2 the table-cloth and curtains were of green serge1 the exact shade of the staining1 and the room altogether was far prettier than ,i had expected it to be1 although ,i must confess my expectations were very high4 ,out of one of these schemes of decoration--and ,i am glad to say that all are possible1 for ,pither1 among others1 will always keep in stock any paper that has really found favour with the public2 therefore ,i am not recommending what will be out of anyone's power to possess almost before these words are in type1 as was the case a very few years ago--it will be quite easy to evolve a nursery in the new house which will be so pretty and appealing to the inhabitants1 that when the last baby is a tall young person1 either rejoicing in knickerbockers or a frock1 or in being in the schoolroom as a matter of course1 and who goes for walks and has meals in company with the elders--and we are forced to consider the problem with which ,i headed this chapter--we may reply unanimously1 ,no2 not as long as nurse lives1 nor as long as there is the very smallest chance of illness or of our having to entertain small visitors4 ,for these even the cots and high chairs should be retained2 they do not eat anything1 as one of our old nurses used to say when ,i wanted to give away some of the treasures1 and they may even come in for the grandchildren1 who will appreciate1 as no one else can1 the fact that they are having just what their parents had1 and sitting and sleeping in the very beds and chairs they used to patronise4 ,it is from the mistakes of others we learn most1 and ,i have never forgotten the lamentations among old servants at home1 when the nurseries being done away with and every cot scattered to the four winds of heaven1 my mother had to borrow cots and turn the house almost upside down to take in her grandchildren1 who were suddenly sent to her to be looked after during a sudden stress of illness1 an inconvenience that caused endless worry and bustle1 but would have been nothing at all had the old nurseries still been as they were1 and which1 as a rule1 can be easily managed in a big house where the nurseries have been properly arranged for4 ,then1 too1 the position of the two rooms close together1 and generally a little way removed from the rest of the house1 though not at the top1 ,i beg1 makes them a most admirable place for an invalid to retire to2 there is always a chance of illness--aye1 even serious illness--as one gets on in life1 and all sorts of disagreeable things remind one that one is not immortal2 and though1 as a rule1 houses are built emphatically to live in1 and neither to be ill nor die in--though1 despite the architects1 both these unpleasant matters are possible--one can generally in a large house manage that the nurseries shall be close together and quiet2 therefore1 they should be kept apart for our own use4 ,we could be ill most comfortably in the night nursery1 and convalescent in the day nursery1 which could1 however1 be used for our nurse did we require one1 and the cheerful pretty papers and the thoughts that would be inseparable from these rooms would alike help us to bear our woes1 while we could have nurse to talk to and to #8do for us' as no one else could--no one who did not know us thoroughly1 and1 having seen us in sickness and in health1 in adversity and prosperity1 knows exactly what we can bear and how to manage us best4 ,thinking over everything1 then1 considering carefully what the nurseries have been and what they may be1 ,i do most seriously beg all my contemporaries to pause a very long time before they lay a ruthless hand on what was once as sacred as a shrine4 ,no amount of decoration can embellish walls decorated with the hopes and joys of our youth1 and one's first playing at ,motherhood2 no other paper and paint give us the idea1 or remind us as do the old papers and paint1 of a thousand and one things no one can possibly want to forget2 not even the miseries endured during serious illness1 the anxieties turned into joy1 or may be deepened into dreadful gloom by death itself1 should be forgotten2 aye1 a thousand times should they be remembered if this be the case1 and1 though this is an impatient age when no one wants to think1 and when death is treated so lightly that people are in society and deepest black at the same time1 and when all are so impatient of the sorrow death brings with it1 that #8no one stays at home except the corpse1' ,i trust ,i shall not number many of them among my readers1 or indeed anyone who cannot and will not thankfully remember their past1 and as they grow old1 ,darby and ,joan together1 will not spare time to look back gladly and happily to days which were better1 perhaps1 than the present days of feeble steps and darkened lights1 but which are no less happy if ,edwin and ,angelina are still hand int hand and heart to heart1 and have proved for themselves the absolute truth that where marriage is begun in love1 continued in love1 and ended in love1 it can never be anything save success1 and that anyone who calls it a failure must know absolutely nothing whatever about it4 ,to such a couple as this1 the nurseries must always be sacred places1 and they will be as reluctant as ,i am to do away with them4 ,i think1 therefore1 ,i may take it for granted that unless absolutely pressed for room we shall retain our nurseries1 keeping them fresh and bright and nice in case we are ill1 or in case we have our grandchildren to see us1 or in case we have small visitors1 who1 being provided with suitable rooms1 are nothing but a pleasure to us1 when otherwise they might be nothing except a trouble and a nuisance4 ,,chapter ,,vi4 ,,the ,,girls' ,,room4 ,in writing about the girls' room1 ,i mean to consider a great deal more than decoration1 though naturally that will not be neglected1 for ,i am more and more convinced as years go by that something definite must be done in the way of providing for the women who flood the market and struggle--alas6 that it should be so--in the open streets with men for their living1 instead of contenting themselves with being the helpmeets of those with whom they wage this unseemly warfare4 ,i have a very strong opinion that people should not bring into the world any more children than they can reasonably hope to equip in some measure for the fight4 ,boys can always make their way1 women cannot2 and though ,i do not agree with ,mr4 ,besant1 who declares that women hate work and do not wish ever to do anything1 ,i do think that no woman should be obliged to work for mere food and clothes--at all events in the ranks above the lower middle classes2 and that no woman's constitution can stand the anxiety of providing her own sustenance1 and at the same time doing work to procure this sustenance2 for anxiety paralyses a woman1 and the more she is obliged to take thought for the morrow the less able is she to ensure the morrow's being provided for by her work4 ,she should1 therefore1 never be placed in a position in which she is literally forced out into public strife1 unless from her very earliest days she has been brought up among workers and taught that her future can be nothing but severe toil4 ,can one speak too strongly of the wicked selfishness of people who bring ten or eleven children into the world1 knowing that1 were they to die to-morrow1 the unhappy creatures would either starve1 or do worse than starve in the workhouse or in one of those excellent and stony-hearted institutions where the child becomes a unit among hundreds of uniformed units1 with never a pretty frock or sash among them1 and never a chance of anything save work outside the walls and of an ultimate grave8--of the insensate and odious conduct of those parents who bring up their children to have every single thing they require1 and then1 when the girls do not marry and grow old at home1 leave them penniless when totally unable to work1 because they have never known they must--never have learned a single thing worth knowing1 and that they must either starve genteelly or live on their overburdened relations1 or add to the already fearful number of people who paint dreadful little tables and tambourines1 sew infamously1 or try the thousand and one ways of making a little money1 which cheapen the market and bring institutions for the sale of work done by ladies into the profoundest contempt8 ,i say that the ,state should interfere1 and force a man to lay by for his daughters1 at least so much that will keep them from such an end1 or to give them such an education that at any moment they could work--could do the work that from their earliest days they should learn is waiting for them in the near future2 and that if a man's own sense will not teach him that he has no right to make helpless women suffer 7as women must suffer who find themselves destitute in middle age71 he should be treated like a criminal and punished by a jury1 which should be composed of women who have suffered in their turn through their parents' selfishness4 ,naturally this would be impossible1 but ,i do wish men's consciences could be awakened1 and every successful man who is working hard1 spending all he makes1 and adding yearly to the frocked darlings in the nursery with scarcely an arrire pense1 would remember in the dead of the night1 when one's sins generally find one out1 that the day of reckoning will come--that some day the children brought up in luxury and accustomed to think the world their own will be faded spinsters 7for out of a large family some are sure to remain unmarried in these days71 and that all the sweetness and light of the early life will be forgotten1 and the father will be cursed when these faded1 sorrowful women have to look forward to nothing but patient starvation or a corner grudged to them by their more successful relations1 to whom they can never be anything save incumbrances2 for these disappointed ones of the earth always resent prosperity in anyone else1 and are apt to snarl and snap at those who dole them out the bread they so unwillingly take4 ,why should not the ,state compel every working man with two or more daughters 7after two the case should be legislated for7 to pay in a part of his income to some fund for providing for the women8 ,and by working men ,i mean those who have no capital except their brains--the artists1 lawyers1 clergymen1 professional men of all kinds1 who have nothing but themselves to depend upon4 ,the man making and spending his #a1ejjl4 a year should be forced to put by at least #bjjl4 a year for the poor girls who come into the world without their own consent1 and who are left absolutely destitute1 save of a certain amount of distaste for anything save enjoyment1 and an absolute dislike of doing anything save just what it pleases them to do at the moment2 while at the same time a properly mapped-out education should be provided that will enable them to earn something in addition to the pittance the ,state would be keeping for them against a rainy day1 but which would be something on which they could rely with certainty1 and which would allow them to contemplate possible illness without the deadly sinking that fills the breast of any woman who has absolutely nothing but her own self to rely upon1 and who knows she must starve or seek the cold comfort of the corner mentioned before if she cannot continue her labour4 ,i cannot put the case too strongly before the fathers and mothers who may read this book2 for1 after all1 they must be their own ,state1 and do their own legislating4 ,they must not have enormous families that they cannot feed1 clothe1 or educate respectably2 and they must so manage their affairs that the girls can rely on the #ajjl4 a year1 which is all ,i ask for--all that is absolutely necessary to keep a single woman in comfort1 but not luxury2 the luxuries must be earned or gone without4 ,they must do this1 ,i say1 unless they wish to look down from whence they may go after death1 and have their hearts lacerated and torn by the sight of the women they have left to starve and to curse those who have entailed so much misery on them4 ,there surely would be some insurance company who would undertake to do for all what the ,edinburgh ,life ,assurance ,company1 #aa ,king ,william ,street1 ,e4,c41 does for schoolmistresses who like to pay in a certain amount yearly--viz4 pay them a pension at a certain age1 or else a sum of money1 whichever they prefer2 and the parents could1 as soon as they added another daughter to the household1 begin providing for her4 ,if they cannot do this1 ,i maintain they are absolutely wicked in adding that little life to the overwhelming population already here4 ,there is no misery to be compared to the misery of a woman who1 never having imagined her future can be aught but a sheltered one1 finds herself at middle age absolutely destitute and at the mercy of her relations4 ,she has no claim on anyone but her parents1 and she knows this1 and suffers infinitely4 ,therefore those parents must contemplate this3 must understand that marriage does not come to the lot of everyone1 and that1 even if it does1 the woman should not go penniless to her husband1 but should have some small allowance to enable her to feel independent1 and to add to her house1 or her children's pleasures1 out of her own resources4 ,here1 again1 ,i mention the #ajjl4 a year4 ,each girl in an upper middle-class family--the professional man's family--cannot possibly cost any amount less than that2 in the case1 of course1 of some1 #ejl4 would be amply sufficient1 and this sum should be allowed yearly as long as the father lived2 after which1 insurance money should be forthcoming that would insure something at all events1 if not quite as much as they have been having4 ,if1 however1 it is absolutely impossible for a man to give his daughters anything--in which case they ought most distinctly never to have been born--he is bound to tell them so honestly from their earliest days1 and he is equally bound to give them such an education that at any moment they can earn something1 either as domestic servants--and1 for my part1 ,i would1 and far rather1 be a parlourmaid than a nursery governess--or as ,board school teachers1 designers1 or as members of such of the home branches of toil as are open to women who cannot aspire to the higher education and the advantages of ,girton and similar establishments4 ,of course the subject of woman's work is one on which volumes have been written1 and volumes might still be compiled from the same source1 and ,i could not naturally go into all the pros and cons of each occupation in this chapter1 even if ,i knew them all1 which ,i do not2 but ,i do strongly beg my readers to dissuade their girls from competing with the men2 they only lower prices1 and1 finally1 prevent the men from marrying them by giving themselves one less chance of fulfilling the proper end of their sex--viz4 to make a home in the fullest sense of the word4 ,there is plenty for women to do without scratching and fighting with the men4 ,if only they can realise that fact ,i shall not have written in vain4 ,i have had lately a great deal to do with women who have to earn their own living1 and ,i have never found one who really could and would work at anything that turned up who could not add in an appreciable manner to her income2 but ,i have also found hundreds who would not even try to do what ,i could offer them1 but who preferred to dabble with paint1 to embroider hideous cushions no one wants1 and which cost pounds to make1 to undertaking the #8smocking1' the upholstery1 and1 above all1 the dressmaking and cooking with which any sensible woman1 who is honest and hard-working1 can keep herself and manage to get along comfortably4 ,no2 if they can't get just the work they want1 they will not take any2 or1 if they take it1 they grumble2 don't return it at the time they promise2 and1 finally1 are so unbusinesslike that their employers are in despair1 and vow that1 come what may1 they will never employ a so-called lady again4 ,and it is also astonishing to me how the mere fact of being gently born seems to these poor things to excuse all their failings4 ,rickety screens1 impossible pictures1 frightful woollies--all must be sold at a higher rate for them than for anyone else1 because they are made by ladies4 ,and so it should be if ladies understood that1 because they are ladies1 they should be more punctual and better workers than the poorer classes1 if their ladyhood were a hall-mark instead of a screen for their misdemeanours4 ,but they will not see this1 and in consequence they bring discredit on their order1 and make the very words #8,poor lady6' synonymous with everything that is bad and absolutely unsaleable4 ,to be a successful worker one must take the work which comes before one1 and one must be trained to work1 to punctuality1 and to business habits2 therefore1 if there be one of the families of daughters no other nation produces in the reckless way our own does1 it is imperative that the training to work begins in the nursery1 and that the defenceless girls are given this equipment at least1 even if the parents can do no more for them4 ,the boys are born to work2 they are carefully trained and brought up for this end1 but there are hundreds of cases where the fathers have either been suddenly ruined or become poor through illness or their own selfishness1 and who turn the girls out in their turn1 and are much astonished when the poor things flounder hopelessly about and cannot keep themselves1 because they have had absolutely no training which shall fit them for work4 ,i feel1 in writing this chapter1 which concerns the girls of the household1 that ,i cannot say too much about the subject of some provision being made for them1 and that they should be relieved not only from the necessity of having to find a market for unskilled labour1 but also from the trial of marrying if they do not want to do so1 or if they do not see anyone they really love1 because their parents are continually telling them it is their duty to marry in order to make room for their younger sisters4 ,now1 incredible as it may sound to male ears1 there are very many women to whom marriage and the obligations and responsibilities entailed thereby are absolutely distasteful and disagreeable4 ,as a rule1 these women make the best wives and house-mothers1 but they are not the happiest people in the world1 and would probably have been both happier and better had they followed out their own inclinations and lived their own lives in their own way1 without the constant presence of a man and the unceasing cares of a household on their shoulders4 ,they do not understand ,love with a big ,l1 and passion and they are strangers for ever1 and always would be1 but they marry at their parents' request1 to clear out the nest1 and they certainly miss the higher happiness which1 perchance1 might have come had they waited1 either from their work or from meeting the one individual who might have roused their sleeping souls and shown them a glimpse of the paradise that exists1 ,i believe1 for those lucky natures who understand what we may call the #8,ouidaesque' aspect of the case2 albeit ,i also think they use up rapidly in that short sojourn in ,paradise1 which serves more sober-minded folk for the whole of life's journey4 ,for myself ,i cannot speak4 ,i am a prosaic1 unsentimental individual1 and so far have got on without sentiment very well indeed2 but other people may not be as ,i am1 and may endure misery by marrying the first man who asks them because they see plainly how desperately they are grudged the room in the house which should have been theirs for ever1 and from which they should have been allowed to go reluctantly to the husband1 who appreciates his wife a thousandfold if he understands he is only allowed possession on sufferance1 and that she was wanted by her own people quite as badly as ever he could want her himself4 ,and this brings me round to the question of giving the girls their own room in the house1 where they can do just what they please1 and where they can ask their own friends to tea should they desire to do so2 not1 however1 in the ,american way1 which empowers the young people to have festivals whenever they like1 and to ask whom they like to them1 but in a mitigated form1 which compels them to ask permission to entertain1 and furthermore to produce a list of names1 so that full knowledge may be the mother's portion1 and that she may know exactly who is coming1 and1 moreover1 what is going on4 ,if the girls have their own sitting-room1 they feel their residence under the paternal roof is meant to last as long as the roof itself1 and they have not that hurried1 disagreeable feeling some unfortunate girls must be given by the parents who make no provision for their permanent comfort1 and who openly speak of what they shall do when ,so-and-so gets married2 poor ,so-and-so1 who has never had an offer in her life1 and shrinks away from every man she sees1 as she cannot help regarding him as the monster who carries off a damsel whether she wishes it or not1 because the fetish of home has to be appeased1 and the fabric kept together by the quick sacrifice of those who are old enough to be chained to the rock to await his advances4 ,the home--of the making and the decorating1 the management1 and the keeping together of which ,i feel ,i can never say too much--cannot possibly be made too happy1 too pleasant for the younger members of it2 but they in their turn must understand that they1 too1 have their part in the whole to perform4 ,the grown-up daughter in such a home is a most precious possession2 she can save her mother endless trouble1 she can and does take the burden of most of the detail on her shoulders1 and for her1 therefore1 should be arranged some place1 no matter how small1 that she can call her own1 and where she can in some measure do much as she likes1 for she is sure to have some pet occupation--friends to write to1 work to do1 all sorts of things to see about1 and which she can only attend to in a room set apart for her and her belongings4 ,in many cases the schoolroom makes an admirable girls' room1 but should this room be occupied by the younger children when the elder daughter is #8out' and requires a room to herself1 a capital arrangement could be made for her by copying the ,french fashion of a boudoir-bedroom1 an arrangement for which is illustrated here1 and which my artist has adapted from a room ,i used to have in my ,dorsetshire house1 where space was a great object1 and where the downstairs rooms were so badly managed that it was impossible to have a morning-room in which ,i could sit1 although there were two tiny rooms beside the dining-and drawing-rooms1 which we turned into bachelors' bedrooms1 and which constituted our only spare rooms for some time4 ,these rooms were larger than need be bestowed on the eldest girl of a house1 and were made by removing the partition between a bed-and dressing-room2 the bed and dressing-table1 which also served as a washhand-stand1 were completely screened off by a long and very tall ,japanese screen2 the cabinet1 which stands by the side of the bed1 held a quantity of linen1 c41 and always looked very decorative1 and not in the least like the humble chest of drawers that it undoubtedly was2 while the couch in the first window served as a sofa1 and1 furthermore1 held any quantity of dresses1 supplemented as it was by the cupboard1 the doors of which are panelled with ,japanese leather1 put in nearly twenty years ago1 and verily1 ,i do believe1 the very first doors in ,england that were ever treated in this manner4 ,i never saw any elsewhere1 though1 of course1 now to find a door with undecorated panels is rather an impossibility1 ,illustration3 ,,fig4 #af4--;,boudoir-,bedroom4 at all events in any house the owner of which aspires to be in the least degree artistic4 ,the room illustrated here was papered with a very soft brown-and-gold paper1 and had a dado of red-and-white matting1 and a hideous shade of terra-cotta paint4 ,in those days one could not find a ceiling paper anywhere1 and ,i was obliged to content myself with a species of caf-au-lait wash on the ceiling1 which much exercised the mind of the local decorator1 to say nothing of my own1 for though ,i knew ,i hated the ordinary whitewash1 ,i did not quite know how to set about a change2 but notwithstanding that1 my caf-au-lait ceiling was rather smeary1 and was profoundly jeered at by the good local housekeepers1 to whom a spotless ceiling and a clear conscience were synonymous1 and to whom anything new or strange meant undoubtedly an unsafe spiritual condition4 ,the relief from the white glare of the ordinary ceiling was so great that ,i stuck to it manfully1 and even added a blue ceiling to one of the other rooms until ,i came across a pretty paper1 and had that put up1 to the intense disgust of the builder and the open horror of the inhabitants1 who since my day have papered their ceilings too1 and done all sorts of other things which ,i used to preach in my bridal-days1 but of which they took no heed until they saw me in print2 then they were quite sure ,i was right1 and began to alter their houses and make them prettier than they had ever been before4 ,i should not now put terra-cotta and brown together1 but that room somehow always looked very harmonious2 the short frilled curtains were of a charming soft terra-cotta and white cretonne1 which unfortunately has been out of stock for something like fourteen years4 ,the muslin was a very soft ,madras with frills also1 and the couch was covered in the same patterned cretonne1 only in blue and white2 when the paper became shabby and a little dull ,i added a frieze of ,japanese fans all round1 and they gave just the colour ,i required to the room4 ,one cannot somehow buy such good fans nowadays as those were1 unfortunately2 and this is not imagination1 for ,i possess a good many of these identical ones now1 and ,i can never find in any of the numerous ,japanese shops which have succeeded ,liberty ,hewitt1 or ,i should say followed them1 any paper fans that are half such good colours or such pretty designs as those which formed the frieze in that particular room4 ,i had the floor covered entirely with matting1 and rugs were placed about4 ,the whole of the furniture1 with the exception of the writing-table shown in window ,no4 #b1 was wickerwork1 and as in those days there was no ,aspinall1 ,i had to beg my varnished paint from the man who mended our carriages1 and who could never produce anything except a very good black and a particularly awful blue1 which ,i only tried once1 and eschewed in favour of black1 which remained on for years1 and finally succumbed to the superior charms of ,aspinall's hedge-sparrow-egg blue and other delicate and pleasant colours4 ,the shelves1 both in the recesses by the fireplace and between the windows1 will give an excellent idea how to manage these dwarf bookcases1 which hold a quantity of books1 while the tops serve as cabinets or stands for china4 ,the corners of the room had a series of long wooden brackets in each1 edged with frills of dark-blue velveteen1 and the mantel-piece had on a painted board for the shelf edged with a deep frill or flounce1 also of the same dark-blue velveteen2 a narrow strip of looking-glass was placed along at the back1 as overmantels were not invented1 and ,i had always a horror of the great glass sheets then in vogue2 while above that hung pictures1 fans1 c41 which made a species of overmantel arrangement for myself1 with which ,i was quite satisfied4 ,the room altogether always looked pretty and nice1 and was much admired2 it was always full of ferns and palms and flowers too1 without which no room can ever look well1 spend what one may on the furniture and decorations thereof4 ,this species of boudoir-bedroom is always a capital possession1 and were space no object in a house ,i should always arrange the bed-chambers in a similar manner3 there should be a dressing-room and bath-room to each1 where all the dressing operations could be carried on2 and the bath should be shut off by double doors from the passage4 ,such an arrangement is quite delightful both for visitors and when one has to remain in one's room from ill-health1 for once up and on the sofa the whole appearance of a bedroom vanishes when the screen is in place1 which is put straight along between the bed and the cabinet4 ,all the housework is done behind the screen1 the housemaids entering by the curtained door1 and the invalid is not worried by the sight of bed-making operations1 while her room always looks nice1 and she can receive there anyone she may care to see1 which she could not do were the room frankly a bed-chamber and nothing else4 ,of course on ordinary days the windows must be opened as soon as dressing is over1 and left open for a good two hours' spell of airing1 and the room should not be sat in after tea or after luncheon if possible4 ,this gives ample time for a due course of airing1 the only objection anyone could make to this arrangement being that probably the room might be stuffy1 or the air in it exhausted by being used during the day as well as slept in during the night4 ,this objection vanishes into thin air when the windows are opened widely and kept open from about two till bedtime2 indeed1 ,i say after bedtime1 for whatever the weather may be ,i have one window open all night1 and whenever possible every window which will open remains so2 indeed1 one window in our present house has not been closed for a moment during three years4 ,now1 in decorating a room on a smaller scale for a girl1 her own individual taste should be in some measure consulted1 but nothing can possibly be or look better than the delightful #8,watteau' paper1 sold by ,haines1 at #bs4 #f;d4 the piece4 ,it is a paper of which one never tires1 and has also the capital quality of being no distinct colour1 and of allowing any colour being used in the room with it2 while at the same time1 should a distinct hue be desired1 a room decorated with the #8,watteau' paper can be made distinctly blue1 moss-green or coral-pink1 according to the manner in which the room is painted1 or according to the frieze or dado selected4 ,for example1 the paper could be hung above a dado of cretonne sold by ,shoolbred at #as4 #d;d4 a yard1 which almost matches the paper1 the paint in this case being ivory1 and the ceiling paper ,land ,co4's #8,watteau' in yellow and white1 at #cs4 the piece4 ,the curtains could be either of the same cretonne or of a ,louis ,,xvi4 brocade1 sold by ,colbourne at #bs4 #aa;d4 a yard1 double width4 ,the floor could be covered with matting1 and there should be some rugs about on the floor1 thus making one decoration without any distinct colour4 ,another could be the #8,watteau' with a plain green frieze or a frieze of ,haines #8rose' paper1 at #ajs4 a piece4 ,this is run round the room1 not put on in strips like wall-paper1 and therefore would not be as expensive as it sounds4 ,the frieze-rail and all the woodwork could be stained green with ,jackson's malachite green stain2 the ceiling paper could be pink and white2 the carpet1 ,wallace's green #8lily2' and the chairs could be stained green1 and upholstered either in the pinky terra-cotta ,louis ,,xvi4 brocade1 of which the curtains could be made1 or else of the #8,watteau' cretonne mentioned above4 ,the bed should be covered with a worked quilt--a good occupation for any girl would it be to make such quilts2 while the towels and pillow-cases should all bear embroidered monograms1 marking-ink being a positive badge of disgrace in a household where there should be useful fingers4 ,there are a great many floral papers1 such as the #8rose1' at #cs4 #i;d41 sold by ,giles2 the #8carnation1' sold by ,maple2 and the #8wild rose1' sold by ,haines1 which are all charming for such rooms1 or1 indeed1 for any room2 but should a severer form of decoration be required1 my readers cannot go wrong with any of ,pither's papers1 or of ,liberty's new damasque papers1 which are all as good and artistic as they can be1 and which can be used fearlessly by anyone who is not sure enough of his own taste to allow himself to select a paper on his own account1 or has not time and patience to encounter the invariable battle with the decorator1 who will not produce1 until he is absolutely obliged1 any paper on which he cannot see his way to making an exorbitant profit1 and who sets forth paper after paper1 trusting to his own ingenuity and his powers of wearying his victim to enable him to sell some venerable #8shopkeeper' which has long vexed his soul by its unremunerative existence on some back shelf4 ,i am delighted myself with ,liberty's damasque papers1 which have only been brought out since ,i wrote my first book1 and which1 therefore1 have not had the honourable mention there that they so very richly deserve to have had1 the blue and silver #8tulip damasque1' at #bs41 being a perfect paper1 and one that would be quite satisfactory in a boudoir-bedroom1 unless it happened to be a very small one2 in that case the blue and silver marigold1 at #as4 #f;d41 would do equally well4 ,with these papers a dado is imperative1 as ,i do not consider they have sufficient substance in them to withstand the wear and tear inseparable from their position at the base of the wall4 ,a dado of ,treloar's thin matting or of a good red-and-gold ,japanese paper would look well4 ,with the matting the paint should be ivory1 with the leather paper a good red paint should be selected which will harmonise with the blue4 ,in any case a red carpet1 such as ,pither's dull red #8cottage' carpet1 or ,wallace's dull red #8anemone1' should be selected1 and the curtains should be the same red in serge1 or else in a dull blue cretonne1 the #8alg' made on purpose to harmonise with this paper by ,oetzmann4 ,the planning and talking over the arrangement of this room will be a great amusement both to mother and daughter1 and ,i strongly recommend the mother to attempt nothing in the way of a surprise1 but to frankly take her daughter into her confidence and consult her tastes on the subject if she wishes the room to be a real success4 ,i am compelled to recommend this course from an experience of my own1 because ,i have never forgotten my unconcealable dismay at returning home after a long visit to find my own mother had planned such a surprise for me1 but had in all innocence1 and with such kindness1 done such dreadful things to my pet belongings that ,i often recall the remembrance of my start of horror and exclamation of dismay with the profoundest contrition1 for ,i did not know then what ,i have only realised in after years1 that ,i must have pained her dreadfully1 for1 dear soul1 she had done all the renovations out of her own savings1 and had taken much trouble and pains about it1 and ,i could not help saying1 #8,oh1 why did you let them do this8' before ,i realised that this was a surprise1 and ,i ought to have been enchanted instead of dismayed at her renovations--renovations that were in absolute good taste1 for her taste was perfect1 and her house charming long before anyone else cared for their house1 but which somehow were not my ideas1 and which annoyed me dreadfully because the arrangements were not mine at all1 and which ,i never dared alter afterwards1 because ,i had already received the changes so ungraciously1 instead of realising that ,i should have been enchanted with the forethought and goodness which had prepared all this for me4 ,remembering my own reception of a similar surprise1 therefore advise that the daughter should be consulted in every way about the room she is to inhabit1 unless1 of course1 she has no tastes of her own1 and does not care what the room looks like so long as she has it to herself2 then the room can be made as pretty as the mother likes4 ,but there are few girls nowadays who do not care for their rooms1 and are not as eager as anyone else to make themselves a pretty nest that they may regard as their own1 and not as a perch on which they rest on sufferance until they are pushed out by the on-coming juniors into the arms of the first man who appears in the least degree anxious to have her for a wife4 ,i do hope that1 whatever else happens1 the daughters of the household may never be sent away to schools1 or urged at a high school to overwork their brains and go in for those wretched competitive examinations4 ,i am no advocate for the higher education of women1 for votes for women1 for anything which shall take them out of the sheltered home atmosphere1 where women alone can breathe comfortably and live properly1 and force them into the arena of life2 and ,i do hope mothers who may read this book will consider what they are doing when they force their girls forward1 and delight in the hard work and successful examinations which ruin their constitutions1 and make them irritable and nervous and old before their time4 ,i know only too well that there are women who are compelled to work1 but ,i shall always maintain this should not be2 and1 to return once more to the subject with which ,i began my chapter1 ,i state boldly that neither would they be were the families of ,english people smaller1 and were we less extravagant1 less determined to snatch all we can from life1 doing absolutely nothing for ourselves that we can get someone else to do for us4 ,why1 ,i know myself one family of five or six daughters who1 if their father died to-morrow1 would not have #ejl4 a year1 yet who go out night after night to balls1 who take cabs at every moment1 never saving a shilling1 who are waited upon by half a dozen servants1 and yet who ought to do the housework themselves1 who ought to be content with a quarter of the gaiety they insist upon4 ,the poor silly things even went to ,court1 though1 ,heaven knows1 the ,queen would have sent them back again had she known what their dresses cost--a price1 moreover1 that would never be paid--and who finally would have far more chance of happy marriage than they have now1 when every man they know looks askance at their garments1 and then at their father's worried face1 and avoids them1 justly declining to put themselves in the noose which is round his neck1 and which will surely kill him1 even if he can keep his head above water for much longer4 ,this case is the case of hundreds of families at present1 and therefore ,i feel ,i cannot say too much about it1 and ,i do hope mothers will therefore think a little more about their daughters1 and endeavour to restore a little of the quiet and simplicity which are almost extinct in this rushing era of ours1 and which can never be found among those who are cast out from the shelter of home and forced into competition--a competition that is as odious as it is unnecessary in most girls' lives1 and that would be altogether unnecessary were there fewer girls in the world1 and were we content to spend one quarter of the money we do on all sorts of nonsense and on extra servants1 who only make our daughters lazy and luxurious when they ought undoubtedly to be up and doing4 ,the moment a girl leaves the control of the schoolroom and the watchful eye of the governess she should be told that1 though now she is to some extent her own mistress1 she must not consider her education finished1 but rather that the real part of education is just beginning1 and that it is absolutely necessary that every day should begin with some steady work2 and it is also well that some definite rule should be made on this subject3 certain small household duties should be given to her1 and certain studies should be continued1 leaving it to her to select in some measure what those studies shall be4 ,now in the richest households there are many things which should never be left to servants if one wishes the house to look like the abode of a lady1 and not of a nouveau riche one1 the principal one in my eyes being the arrangement of the flowers4 ,the best gardener in the world has only a gardener's ideas1 and cannot know what to bring in and how to place what he brings in in an absolutely satisfactory way1 and1 as dead flowers and fading plants are disgraceful and worse than an utter absence of floral decoration1 the first duty a girl should undertake is that of going round the rooms the moment breakfast is over1 to decide which plants are to be removed and which vases should be refilled4 ,in the country the gardener should wait her orders1 and have the flowers gathered dry and before the heat of the sun is on them1 and should himself exchange the plants1 the position of them being determined by his mistress1 as the arrangement of the flowers should be left to her alone4 ,if done systematically in the manner here indicated1 all the house will look fresh and nice1 and there would be no chance of overwork4 ,to arrange the flowers an old dress should be worn1 also a large apron and sleeves should be donned4 ,despite the fact that the gardener should bring in the flowers1 there is always something extra to gather at the last moment1 and one rushes out1 gets one's skirts covered with damp mould and dew from the grass1 or shakes down a quart or so of water from the trees all over one1 and a dress is spoiled in a moment--a serious matter at all times1 but something more than serious when one has forestalled one's allowance1 and can't afford another garment anyhow4 ,the arrangement of the flowers in most houses nowadays would occupy at least an hour1 after which the girl should sit down for a steady read at some standard work carefully chosen for her1 or else to any sewing work she may care for2 then she should take up her hobby--and ,i trust she may have one for her own sake--and she should either practise1 paint or write1 or do anything she likes 7save read novels7 until the hour before luncheon1 when she must go out4 ,if she be wise she will continue her regular walk with the schoolroom party2 if not1 she must be sent out to see her friends1 do #8errands' about the village or town1 or else arrange for a game at tennis--anything to ensure some exercise4 ,the girls of the present day don't care for walks for walking's sake1 but they must have open-air exercise somehow1 whether they care for it or not4 ,in ,london1 ,i maintain1 any girl who knows how to behave1 and who is told plainly how to conduct herself1 can safely go about the streets alone from the day she is eighteen4 ,i have done so ever since ,i can remember1 and though ,i do not consider myself lovely1 ,i certainly was nice-looking 7please1 ,i am not conceited71 and ,i never met with any adventure of the very smallest kind2 and given a straightforward walk1 an air of having something to do and doing it1 no peeping into shop-windows1 for example1 and not a suspicion of loitering anywhere1 ,i maintain any ordinary girl can go about alone perfectly1 should it be inconvenient to send someone with her1 or should she have no girl friend or sister with whom to walk2 anyhow1 ,london is much safer than the country1 with its crawling tramps and its suspicious cows at every corner1 to say nothing of mad bulls and dogs and all kinds of perilous adventures4 ,the morning walk disposed of1 after luncheon then could come any pleasures4 ,there are sure to be calls to be made1 tennis to go to1 afternoon parties1 concerts1 and all kinds of small dissipations2 then would come dinner1 after which1 if there were no going out1 amusing books could be allowed1 and1 in fact1 any amusement that she particularly cares for should now be indulged in4 ,the evenings should be entirely her own2 and if she has any hobbies1 and wishes to continue the morning's work1 let her do so4 ,you will very likely be as glad to be left alone for a little with your husband as she is anxious to return to her own quarters and resume the special employments on which she was engaged4 ,i am now writing about those lucky girls who have an assured future of some kind1 who1 though they may not be rich should their father die1 will not have to join in the fearful battle for bread1 and who should represent the sex universally had ,i my way2 and1 therefore1 ,i do not dwell on the necessity for toil that would be inevitable were the girls' parents aware of the sword hanging over their heads4 ,in this case the girls should know the truth1 and should themselves elect whether they should prepare armour against the fray1 or hang about1 hoping against hope that they may be married before the evil days that must come fall upon the household4 ,but girls who are pretty well off1 and who1 as ,i said before1 cannot starve if their parents die1 should still endeavour to find some real occupation for themselves2 they may never want to make much money by it1 but they should always be able to save money by it2 and if they cannot do anything definite1 or that will be likely to be heard of in the world1 they should cultivate their fingers1 and should learn to embroider and sew1 in order that their room at first1 and their houses afterwards1 should be made beautiful by them1 and should show evidences of their industry1 and the excellent uses they have made of their time4 ,make the girls' room pretty1 and the girls will like to sit there and spend their time carefully within the charming walls2 but do not for one moment tolerate laziness1 lounging1 or novel-reading2 and as long as the girls are at home1 see that the mornings1 at all events1 are properly employed4 ,the results of the day should be seen1 should be inspected1 and the masters or mistresses1 who should still attend to continue some lessons 7,german1 music1 and painting being the best1 ,i think71 should be interviewed now and again about the progress of the pupil2 and a watchful but not inquisitorial eye should be kept on all that goes on in the room1 else we shall find it turned into a rubbish-place1 or a spot where all is play and nothing useful is ever done4 ,lessons in dressmaking and in cooking should be given1 if possible1 to every girl2 and she should also at the earliest age possible be taught to knit socks and stockings1 and1 above all1 she should1 in the very fullest sense of the word1 learn her duty to her neighbours1 and be taught that her superior advantages both of time and money should be tithed for those whose lives lack so much1 and could be made so very much brighter were we all to do our duty by them4 ,i am not an advocate for slumming2 ,i do not consider any girl should have a district1 and1 unless in the country1 ,sunday-school teaching is not always to be attempted2 but some part of the day should be set aside1 either for working for the poor--amply represented to me by the ,sisters at the ,kilburn ,orphanage--or in making some life brighter4 ,in the country it is easy to collect flowers for hospitals1 or to ask dwellers in courts to tea in the garden in ,london1 to make things which will be useful1 and to take girls and boys occasionally to some museum or picture gallery1 just for an hour's change from the crowded streets4 ,i think girls should always do one thing during the day1 as a matter of custom1 for the poor2 but whatever is done should be done under some direction4 ,young folks are enthusiastic and hurried1 and often do more harm than good by indiscriminate charity4 ,but then the clergyman of the parish can sometimes be consulted1 and when he cannot1 ,i say1 ,send to ,kilburn1 to the ,orphanage in ,randolph ,gardens4 ,there1 without consideration of creed1 with large and vigorous minds and hearts1 all are helped2 and all work can be used1 all help received1 with the perfect assurance that what we send there will emphatically reach those for whom it is meant1 and that there are no highly paid secretaries to come before the poor and suffering4 ,these are all large matters to be discussed in this book1 but ,i cannot think they are out of place4 ,i am thankful to say that far more people trouble themselves now about their poorer neighbours than in bygone days2 that rich men realise that they are only stewards of their property1 and that they should administer their goods for the poor as well as for themselves2 that while the owner of a large park and magnificent pictures is not bound to cut up the former for allotment-grounds1 or distribute the latter among the denizens of ,whitechapel1 he is bound to allow them to see both1 under proper control1 whenever he is called upon to do so2 that garden-parties for the poor are far more necessary than garden-parties for the rich2 and that all who regard life rightfully and have had a large share of life's best things are bound1 by their duty to ,god and their neighbour1 to administer them in some measure for the poor1 who will gradually become more fit to share them as we show them our possessions and teach them how to regard them properly4 ,under these circumstances there is great hope that our girls may advance farther than we have done1 and1 being most carefully trained from their earliest days to remember ,god's poor1 may do so as a matter of course1 and may consider that day wasted indeed which cannot show at least one thing done to alleviate some of the misery and poverty there is in this overcrowded world of ours4 ,the weaker sex indeed6 ,we may be weak physically--we are1 we allow that2 we allow that our impulsiveness1 our weakness1 our very structure1 forbids us battling with the men1 shoulder to shoulder1 in that dreadful scrimmage for life in which some women would cast us all2 and all we beg is to be allowed to confess that1 and have some shelter provided for us1 where we can do our part of the world's work--our part1 that a weak mind cannot undertake1 but that is essentially the woman's part--the part of beautifier of the home and administrator of the finances1 and1 through the home1 of the outside world1 too1 where we see all men as our brothers and sisters1 and where we recognise our place as helpers 7not rivals71 of consolers 7not competitors7 of the men1 who should do the sheltering and home-providing that no woman1 except under most exceptional circumstances1 can possibly manage by herself alone4 ,therefore1 if all who have girls remember this1 and instil in their hearts the fact that we want them at home1 that even if they should not marry or become senior wranglers1 or anything else equally prominent and unpleasant1 their lives can be busy and useful and fully occupied1 and of infinite use in their generation1 we shall do something for the world at large even if we let all this grow only out of the innocent preparation of the girls' room when they have reached the end of the first stage of their life1 and become in some measure mistresses of themselves4 ,but1 for fear ,i may be considered too solemn and serious1 and for fear that my readers may think ,i am adverse to gaiety1 and would not let girls enjoy themselves under any circumstances whatever1 ,i will finish this chapter1 and pass on to consider far more frivolous things--namely1 how to manage one's dress allowance1 and1 furthermore1 how best to arrange for any festivities we may be able to afford when we have maidens in the household who are anxious to #8come out4' ,,chapter ,,vii4 ,,coming-,,out ,,and ,,dress4 ,i always regard the expression #8coming-out' as rather a ridiculous one1 when used by the ordinary upper middle-class household2 yet1 as it has become a recognised part of our vocabulary1 ,i suppose we must all adopt it when we talk of that enchanting period of a girl's life which occurs when she is about eighteen1 and is in some measure emancipated from the control and ever-watchful care which have been her portion from the day she was born until the joyful moment arrives when the books may be closed and the schoolroom-door shut1 and she takes her place among her elders as a right1 and not on sufferance any more4 ,here ,i should like to pause for a moment to impress upon all mothers who may read my book that a girl should remain absolutely in the schoolroom until she reaches her eighteenth birthday2 the longer she can be kept from the turmoil of life1 from the shams and wearinesses of ordinary society1 and from any temptations to shirk her education1 the better4 ,she will not be pleased with her mother at the time2 she will think regretfully and1 may be1 angrily of those of her less guarded1 more #8fortunate' 787 friends1 who are #8all over the place' at seventeen1 who never read an instructive book or think of anything save dress1 admirers1 and what dissipation is in store for them next2 but when she looks back at her girlhood from the altitude of that calm1 sheltered middle-age ,i wish for all girls for whom ,i care1 she will see what she has to thank her mother for1 and all the disagreeable feelings she had then towards her will be atoned for a thousandfold in the flood of grateful affection which will fill her heart1 and in the love which she will entertain for one who trained her so carefully1 and who cared for no present lack of affection1 because she knew quite well she would infallibly and at no very late date reap her reward4 ,the years from sixteen to eighteen are undoubtedly the years during which a girl learns most1 and in a properly guarded household she would then comprehend more fully than at any other time how necessary it is to use every moment for the best4 ,she would form habits of study1 regularity1 and appreciation of what is best in art and literature which she would never lose1 and which would only develop as years went on2 and she would1 furthermore1 lay in a stock of health1 on which she could draw at will when the real stress of living begins1 and she finds herself in her turn with a heavy burden of real work on her shoulders1 and has a house to manage1 a husband to please1 and children to bring forth and care for unceasingly4 ,and this latter is the strongest argument ,i can use against girls being #8brought out' too young2 if they are they may marry4 ,i knew one parent criminal enough to allow a child of sixteen to take upon herself this burden2 and should they marry and have children they entail on themselves and on unborn generations misery compared with which a life spent always in the schoolroom would be a life of ,elysian and purest delight4 ,the first thing to consider with our girls is their health3 let that stand before every single thing2 dress them as little mites carefully and warmly2 as young girls insist on warm clothing and perpetually dry feet and skirts2 never allow a game of tennis on a damp lawn to pass by without seeing that no damage is done thereby2 and then1 furthermore1 insist on early bed until the lesson-time is over2 allow no dances of any kind1 forbid entirely the children's parties1 which are at the root of half the epidemics1 the affectations and the bad manners of the present day2 while you take care that pleasant companionship1 treats in the shape of afternoon concerts or plays1 or tennis-parties with children their own age1 these give the necessary relaxation1 and you can face the #8coming-out' gaieties with a light heart1 knowing quite well that your daughter has the necessary physique to stand the strain1 and that she has arrived at a common-sense age1 and will be able to know when she has had enough pleasure1 the while she will care herself for something beside balls and parties1 albeit she will in no measure despise a proper allowance of both4 ,i am no ,puritan2 ,i do not object to dancing or theatres1 or any other amusement1 but ,i do plead for moderation in all things1 and that a girl may have time for something beside mere play4 ,i ask it not only because their mental health must suffer1 but because their physique cannot possibly stand that present strain and yet remain intact ready to bear the yet greater strain to which most women are exposed during their married life4 ,i know only too well what an uncontrolled girlhood and unending gaieties did for me1 and ,i am only again writing out of my own experience in the hope that ,i may save some few girls from the misery in store for them if they begin their fashionable life before they are eighteen and if1 when they begin it1 they have no moderation about it1 and go from ball to ball1 party to party1 until their faces become thin and wretched1 their bloom goes1 their tempers and noses sharpen together1 and they are unstrung and miserable just at the time when life demands most from them1 and they ought to be as well and happy as they are miserable1 nervous1 and broken in spirits and in health4 ,i actually have known one mother introduce her daughter at seventeen because the next daughter was far prettier1 and she wished to give ,no4 #a #8a chance' before ,no4 #b appeared on the scene4 ,can anything be more ignoble than that8 ,and it is to save both mothers and daughters from a similar fate to that which will overtake this couple that ,i am pleading for the girls2 that1 in fact1 they may be saved from themselves by the prompt action of those who ought to be the first to shield their children from a too early contact with the world4 ,i should myself keep a girl to regular hours until she was eighteen1 but even after that1 as ,i have shown in my last chapter1 she should have employment and occupation4 ,until she was eighteen she should never be in bed later than #i4cj1 and she should always be down at #h4cj1 while she ought never to be allowed to go to any large dance before then4 ,small ones1 ending at #aa1 should be very sparsely attended1 and those not at all until she was past seventeen4 ,when the auspicious date of her eighteenth birthday draws near1 a great effort should be made to celebrate it properly4 ,on that date a girl comes into her kingdom1 accepts at your hands the sceptre of self-rule and the crown of an educated and well-guarded girlhood1 and certainly some special notice should be taken of such an occasion4 ,not1 please1 by her being presented at ,court2 the present-day rush of the wives of wine merchants1 successful upholsterers1 and tradesmen of all kinds has made what was once a stately and beautiful ceremony a mockery indeed4 ,of course girls whose parents are about the ,court1 who have long pedigrees and ancient titles1 are bound to be introduced to the ,head of ,society and to take their places round the throne2 but just think for a moment what it means to the ordinary middle-class family1 the frightful expense1 the worry and strain of the presentation1 the fatigue and showing off at the #8,drawing ,room teas' afterwards1 and1 finally1 the dead and unpleasant certainty that they will never be asked to one ,court function1 that they are no nearer being the bosom friend of the princesses than they were before1 and that their social status has not been improved in the least2 indeed1 it has gone down1 for old friends sneer at the foolishness and scoff when they see the name in the paper1 remembering with redoubled force the counters of the wine merchant and shopkeeper1 which would have been entirely forgotten had not the #8fierce light which beats upon the throne' been reflected on those who approach it and shown up the flaws in the pedigree which were on the way to oblivion1 but which give ample scope for scoffing from the very lips which are drinking the tea at the #8reception' after the ,drawing ,room1 where all are wondering what the dresses cost1 and whether ,jones or ,smith1 as the case may be1 will last over the season1 or whether he will marry off his daughters before the crash comes and all go under together6 ,remember1 ,i am not scoffing at trade2 it would ill become me to do so2 but ,i am simply asking my readers to be sensible and to be frankly and absolutely themselves4 ,personally ,i would far rather pin my rights to being a lady on the fact that art and literature have been my sponsors than on being the great-great-granddaughter of a king's mistress or a ruffianly robber of other men's goods2 but that has nothing to do with the subject4 ,a waiter on courts should have business at those courts2 therefore ,i say that those who cannot consider themselves owing the ,queen a call1 and the courtesy of showing her their girls as they grow up to take their places1 either as friends or servants1 have any right to go there1 and that they had much better stay at home and not make themselves ridiculous by an attempt to be and seem what they can never really be4 ,let us suppose that our eloquence has prevailed1 and that the girl has reached her eighteenth birthday1 and there is no talk of her being presented1 or any such nonsense2 but still something must be done to celebrate the auspicious event4 ,if the birthday is in autumn or winter1 or very early spring1 there is no reason why a dance should not be indulged in1 more especially if it can be afforded1 or if there is room for such dissipation4 ,these two things are1 of course1 to be considered before anything else4 ,a ball can cost any sum anyone likes to spend on it2 all depends on the purse and the ideas4 ,if we engage a good hall and band1 go in for a regular and first-rate supper1 any amount of flowers1 and so on1 ,i tremble to think what the bills may come to2 but all can be ascertained by writing to the different places where such things are to be found4 ,gunter will give an estimate per head for the supper2 the ,prince's ,hall secretary will tell you the charges per night2 ,mrs4 ,green1 of ,crawford ,street1 ,w41 will tell you what her fee for decorating the room would be2 and ,mitchell1 of ,bond ,street1 would provide the band4 ,but people who can afford to arrange matters en grand seigneur are not likely to come to me for advice2 if they did1 ,i should only hand them over to the above-named authorities4 ,still1 if these lucky folk should come across my book1 this will tell them what to do4 ,but ordinary folk can give a very enjoyable dance for a little over #ejl4 to about #abe people1 making the hours from eight to twelve1 and having a stand-up supper at about #es4 a head1 ending up with soup just before the guests start for home2 and ,i fancy that1 if one had a sufficiently large house1 and could manage the supper oneself1 it could be done for very much less1 particularly if one has a stand-up supper1 which is really all that can be required when people have dined late1 and only want something to carry them over the later hours and the extra amount of fatigue4 ,to make such a dance a success1 the floor must be perfect1 a band of from three to five performers engaged1 and people must be thoroughly well introduced to each other1 and1 if possible1 no girl must be seen sitting out without a valiant struggle on the part of the hostess to prevent such a sad occurrence by finding her a partner4 ,i cannot countenance or believe in dances1 or1 in fact1 any social gathering1 where there are no introductions2 it is simply an excuse for laziness on the part of the hostess1 which all too often condemns her guests to a great deal of misery and dulness4 ,of course the theory is a perfectly correct one2 the practice1 however1 cannot1 in my opinion1 be too heartily condemned4 ,there will always be dbutantes and shy girls who know very few people1 and these cannot possibly dance unless we see they know men to dance with4 ,is there any misery like the misery of a girl who is dying to dance1 who loves the exercise for its own sake1 and who has to sit out on a bench1 her feet impatiently tapping the floor1 and her little heart ready to break with disappointment1 while she sees married women1 who ought to know better1 and who ought never to dance at all as long as a girl is sitting out1 prancing all about the place and caring nothing for the poor young things whose day it is8 ,as long as they enjoy themselves1 that is quite enough for them4 ,the watchful hostess will have none of these engaging little ways at her dances3 the girls are provided for first1 the matrons after2 and as this would be impossible were introductions done away with1 ,i would impress upon my readers to cling to this old fashion1 and to see that the girls enjoy themselves1 no matter who else do not4 ,except as chaperons married women are out of place in the ballroom1 and should not be encouraged to come there2 if they do their duty by their homes1 their husbands1 and their children1 they could have neither time nor inclination for such a pursuit4 ,when my own daughter #8came out' the other day1 we had about #abe people to a dance in ,watford1 and it cost us just under #ejl4 ,because our house was too small to have any festivity in1 we had to engage rooms1 which cost about #el42 the supper cost about #bel41 at #es4 a head1 including soup1 arated waters1 and waiters1 and a certain amount of decoration for the approach1 anterooms1 c4 ,we had plenty of moss1 plants1 c41 which our own gardener arranged4 ,the local band of three performers cost #cl4 #cs41 and the rest went for wine1 programmes1 and odds and ends generally4 ,the dance was certainly most successful1 and went off very well1 and was quite as much as we could afford4 ,naturally ,i should have preferred much grander doings--a first-rate supper1 the #8,blue ,hungarian' band1 or any other excellent one2 but it would have been foolish to refuse to entertain at all because we could not manage these gorgeous details--details that were as much above our means as they would have been quite unnecessary in ,watford4 ,but the dance was successful1 because the girls were pretty and the men pleasant1 because old friends came down and rallied round us1 and because we all saw the girls did not sit down once1 that there was no flagging1 and that all who could be introduced were made to know each other4 ,i dare say there were plenty of people who wondered they did not have a gorgeous supper1 but ,i do not care if they did1 and ,i certainly am never going to precipitate myself head first into the ,bankruptcy ,court because someone else gives what1 no doubt1 they can well afford to do1 but which ,i could not1 and which1 were ,i to do1 ,i should soon come utterly to an end4 ,i mention all these personal details to show that what we did can be done by other people1 certainly by people who have a big house and plenty of servants1 at a moderate cost1 and ,i hope ,i shall not have become a #8mock of many' because of all ,i have said2 but as ,i always think personal experience frankly given is worth any amount of polite theory1 ,i give my experience here as elsewhere1 hoping that it may be of use to many beside myself4 ,if the damsel is born in the summer1 ,i strongly advise a tennis-or garden-party1 though1 alas6 in this climate we are so dependent upon the weather that ,i mention this with a certain amount of diffidence2 but given one of the lovely ,june days ,nature sometimes kindly dowers us with1 and can anything on earth be pleasanter than one of these al-fresco gatherings may be if properly managed8 ,the garden is looking its best1 and1 if the seats are judiciously arranged and a proper amount of amusement legislated for1 the hostess can greet her friends with a light heart2 she can be quite sure of a successful party without too much trouble or expense on her part4 ,the refreshments should be either in a tent on the lawn or else in any room that may open out into the garden4 ,should there be no such room1 ,i strongly advise the tent to be procured 7one can always be borrowed at a most reasonable expense71 as1 if the refreshments are not easily accessible1 the party becomes scattered3 the timid do not like to separate themselves and go in search of sustenance1 while the greedy can seclude themselves and snatch an undue share of the good things prepared for the entire company4 ,given the tent1 or the room1 and we can proceed to place very long and narrow tables there1 which we should decorate with as many flowers as we possibly can get together1 and should we have very many ,londoners coming to our gathering we should put a host of the little baskets ,whiteley sells for about #d;d4 a set under the tables1 and fill them at parting with what we garnished the tables with4 ,roses and lilies and greenery are not to be despised in ,london1 and our friends will come down to us cheerfully another year if they carry away a sweetly-scented souvenir of our last gathering4 ,people don't mind carrying flowers1 and we can always spare those we have used for garnishing the table4 ,among the flowers we should put large imari bowls of strawberries and cream ready for ladling out on small dishes2 the strawberries should be denuded of their hulls1 and the whipped cream1 which can be thickened with white of egg and made palatable with sugar1 should be piled high on the fruit1 which1 of course1 should be unbroken4 ,if a refrigerator is handy1 the prepared fruit should be kept there until the last moment1 and only produced when the guests have begun to assemble1 the places for the bowls being kept by plates to prevent the symmetry of the table being spoiled by a careless or hurried maid-servant4 ,i strongly advise all the cakes being bought from ,buszard1 who will1 moreover1 tell you honestly the amount of the different kinds you should have for the number you expect2 and1 as a rule1 you should prepare for a few more folks than you have down on your list4 ,if a very fine day people often bring friends with them4 ,i personally like them to do this1 and if you yourself happen to know anyone who possesses little girls1 and who is coming herself1 ,i advise you to ask her to bring the children4 ,well-brought-up children are delightful additions to a garden-party2 they look like bright butterflies flitting about1 and should therefore be encouraged to come1 not by a written invitation1 which would make them unduly prominent and of consequence in their own eyes1 but by a casual mention1 which cannot inflate them1 and yet will show they have been thought about by us4 ,beside the fruit and cakes1 a little finely cut and rolled brown bread and butter should be prepared1 but only a little2 few people eat it2 as a rule it spoils their gloves1 and they do not want it1 and it is wasted if left1 and if the weather is really summerlike and hot1 ices should be provided1 and also iced lemonade1 gingerbeer1 and claret-cup4 ,no other wine is requisite4 ,and as wine is frightfully dear1 and should never be given unless really good1 ,i advise it being omitted altogether1 unless expense is no object4 ,when the garden-party can be from #f to #i4cj the garden could be illuminated with coloured lamps1 and a cold supper succeed the tea4 ,this1 of course1 is the ideal garden-party1 but one which is out of the reach of most people who have a great many friends1 and want to see them without an undue and enormous expense4 ,the tennis-courts1 of course1 should be swept and garnished and newly marked out for the occasion1 and several enthusiasts over this 7to me1 idiotic7 game should be told off to see that all who want to play can do so4 ,if this is not done1 we shall be vexed by seeing this game1 which is so dear to so many1 quite left alone2 and ,i defy any hostess to attend to her guests and keep the tennis-balls rolling at the same time4 ,she must engage the help of her younger guests1 and to them must be left the everlasting trouble of making up the sets1 which seem to me to have only just begun as they are finished4 ,now1 in the dear departed days of croquet1 a hostess had nothing to do but make up the sets of eight and set them going4 ,she saw nothing more of her guests1 a well-played set of eight lasting quite as long as the garden-party itself could be expected to do4 ,anyhow1 there must be something beside tennis to amuse our guests1 and ,i think a band is almost a necessity1 particularly if one is blessed with a decent local band2 then the expense will not be ruinous4 ,one can get an excellent string band from town for about #bjl4 ,i particularly like ,mrs4 ,hunt's ladies' orchestra 7,les ,merveilleuses71 all particulars of which can be had from the secretary1 or from ,chappell ,co41 ,new ,bond ,street2 but sometimes it is as well to encourage local talent if one can do so without fatal effects1 when for #el4 you can have a good deal of music1 always a cheerful matter1 and can sometimes have very good music too4 ,but a local band should always be put a good way off1 distance1 as a rule1 lending an immense amount of enchantment to their productions4 ,i think also that some of the charming open-air scenes from ,shakespeare can be given with great effect4 ,i also am very fond of ,mendelssohn's open-air glees2 and some recitations are often amusing4 ,but should these latter be indulged in1 let me beg that the hostess knows beforehand something about them1 else will her fate be what mine was once1 when an enthusiast began a long1 long1 long poem4 ,i don't know to this day what it was1 whether it was meant to be pathetic or comic or not1 but ,i do know my agonies were awful1 and that ,i was rapidly going mad1 when an opportune shower put a stop to the eloquence1 which had gone on unceasingly through the passing of several express trains1 all of which made a hideous noise1 and any one of which would have been sufficient to daunt any other individual4 ,short1 amusing--really amusing--recitations are always a success1 and ,i should taboo anything tragic or sentimental1 or anything which lasted over ten minutes at the outside4 ,never1 however1 be persuaded to give a garden-party trusting to tennis alone4 ,there can be nothing more dreary than such an entertainment2 it is like an at-home1 where nothing but talk is provided4 ,i would never heap on amusements out of doors or have music without stopping in doors1 but ,i should always provide it in such a way that it serves as a pleasant reason for the gathering4 ,an in-door at-home with music can never be a success if the seats are put in rows1 and people are forced to sit stiffly close together2 an outdoor one can never pass off well unless we prepare amusements1 and see that our guests are really entertained and yet not overburdened with our attentions4 ,i think a whole chapter might be written on the art of being a hostess2 and yet1 perhaps1 a few words may suffice4 ,i believe a hostess1 like a poet1 is born1 not made4 ,still1 a few hints may not be out of place1 for ,i think sometimes parties are unsuccessful because1 though possessed of the best intentions1 the hostess may lack the knowledge that alone can ensure a successful entertainment4 ,in the first place1 without emulating two friends of mine1 one of whom took the youngest unmarried girl in the room down to dinner1 while the other1 out of pure kindness1 let his wife walk in first and then followed himself1 and in consequence was hugely laughed at4 ,i do think that in ordinary society a great deal of ridiculous fuss is made about precedence4 ,what can it matter to the wife of some man knighted but the other day whether she or the wife of the parson goes into or out of the room first8 ,if it does1 she must be so stupid that ,i should not care to see her in my house2 while to me it does matter immensely whether ,i have someone to take me in who knows what is going on in the world and reads his newspaper and sees every play that comes out4 ,give me a man like that1 and ,i don't in the least care what his father was1 neither should ,i care one bit whether ,jones and ,mrs4 ,smith1 and ,mr4 ,smith and ,mrs4 ,brown1 walked in or out of the room before me2 they may all go1 if they like1 in a string4 ,so long as ,i have a pleasant companion and a pretty table to look at1 and a well-cooked dinner1 ,i don't care in the least how ,i reach the dining-room4 ,see that the people who are likely to get on have an opportunity of knowing each other2 watch that no one is sitting glum and disconsolate in a corner2 remember1 if you can1 who is anxious to be introduced to or shown any celebrities in the world of art and letters who may happen to be present2 and1 above all1 consider everyone's pleasure before you think of your own2 and in a large gathering never sit down until you are actually driven to do so through fatigue1 and you may be quite sure that the party will be a success4 ,and send out your invitations1 remembering that the pleasantest people are not always those who can afford to ask you again1 and that your object in entertaining is above all to give pleasure1 to see clever and entertaining1 people in your house1 and not to ensure a return as soon as may be for what you are doing4 ,i do not care if people are the highest in the land if they are dull2 ,i would far rather meet and know people who are clever and interesting than the most exalted member of the peerage ,i could number among my acquaintances if she were stupid and uninteresting1 and had nothing to recommend her but her coronet and her connection with what ,jeames de la ,pluche calls the #8hupper suckles4' ,i think that ,i have now given some idea how to ensure success at the two kinds of parties which might be used as means of introducing a daughter to the world at large2 but1 of course1 there are a great many other gatherings which may be indulged in1 and1 above all1 let us learn always to be ready to give a welcome to any of the children's friends4 ,should we discover that they are not nice we can easily speak about it1 and tell our reasons for not receiving them2 but well-brought-up young people will only make nice friends1 and we must invariably be ready to give them a cheerful welcome4 ,we can always be glad to see them after dinner1 or to afternoon tea4 ,this cannot ruin us1 and when possible we should let them stay in the house and encourage them all we can4 ,at the same time the rules of the house must be kept2 the hours for meals and the general habits of the elders respected2 and we must not be expected to help in the entertaining--that must be left entirely to the younger members of the household1 whose friends they are4 ,perhaps one of the greatest problems1 after we have settled on our manner of entertainment1 is to determine how the girls shall dress and in what manner they shall manage their dress allowance4 ,this should be made to them and paid punctually from their eighteenth birthday1 but it should never be made without starting a girl with a good and sufficient wardrobe1 with a miniature trousseau in fact2 if this is not done1 unless1 of course1 the allowance is a very handsome one1 the girl will get hopelessly into debt1 and will never be free from that millstone all her life4 ,dress is1 unfortunately1 so frightfully expensive nowadays that the problem of how to dress at all1 always a serious one1 has assumed gigantic proportions of late years4 ,we went out immensely in our youth1 and had #ejl4 a year allowed us1 which we just scraped through on1 although ,i remember how anxiously ,i watched the sleeves of one special grenadine dress1 which ,i could not have afforded to replace anyhow1 and which would wear out in the most agonising way1 and which was one mass of darns before ,i could get another1 and ,i have never forgotten the anxiety it gave me1 to say nothing of under-garments1 which really seemed to vanish perceptibly1 bit by bit1 after each visit to the laundress2 but nowadays girls cannot go out very much and appear well dressed on double that sum4 ,even with #ajjl4 a year there would have to be cutting and contriving1 and a good sewing-maid would be an imperative necessity should there be really very many balls every year and afternoon and evening dresses to be seen after besides4 ,of course1 if not more than #ejl4 can be spared to each girl1 the attendance at balls must be limited1 and a great deal of sewing must be done by the damsel herself4 ,but ,i never recommend anyone to go to a cheap or common dressmaker2 if she does1 her garments will never look nice1 and she will spend three times as much as she need on renovations and alterations1 while she will run every imaginable risk of having her stuff spoiled and the dress made so badly that she cannot wear it4 ,supposing the girl is to begin with her allowance of #ejl41 her trousseau should consist of a dozen of each under-garments necessary2 she should have six pairs of silk1 six of fine cashmere1 and six of warmer cashmere hose2 she should have four white skirts1 a silk underskirt1 and a quilted poplin skirt2 she should have two morning dresses1 one a good tailor-made one with a jacket to match1 the other cashmere2 she should have two best dresses1 one for every evening1 one for dances1 and two for balls2 and she should have a sealskin coat1 a waterproof1 and a jacket1 and about three hats2 she should have four pairs of boots and four pairs of shoes2 and she should remember that the longer these are kept in stock before they are worn the better1 and one pair of shoes should never be taken into regular wear without another being purchased to take its place4 ,cheap shoes and boots should never be bought under any pretext whatever2 they wear out at once1 are a hideous shape always1 and are dangerously thin1 things which should prevent their being in any girl's wardrobe4 ,i am often struck1 particularly in crowds or in large gatherings1 at the perfectly frightful clothes most ,english women wear1 and ,i have come to the conclusion that this fact is caused by the extraordinary fondness they seem to have for any kind of black mantle or jacket on which they can lay their hands1 and by a habit they have of crowning their heads with any sort of hat or bonnet that may be in the fashion at the moment1 no matter whether it suits them or not1 or whether they have anything else in their possession with which it can be worn4 ,the tan jackets which have been so fashionable lately have in some measure emancipated the girls from the tyranny of the black cape2 but ,i do wish all who dress at all would do so much more sensibly than they do now1 and would never buy a single thing without carefully reviewing their wardrobe first1 and then purchasing the addition equally carefully1 not because it is #8lovely' or the #8height of the fashion1' but because it suits the wearer1 and above all suits what she already possesses4 ,she must never enter a shop without knowing first of all what she really does require1 and she must never allow herself to be talked out of her own preconceived ideas2 if she does she is sure to find herself saddled with some utterly unwearable garment1 and which1 moreover1 matches nothing she already has in her possession4 ,a girl should be carefully taught what is likely to suit her1 and she should1 moreover1 be carefully instructed how to manage her wardrobe so that her things may be in some measure en suite4 ,for example1 should she possess a sealskin jacket1 which she should if in any way possible--a capital little coat costs about #abl4 to #ael41 and wears ten winters comfortably1 and can be used afterwards as linings--her winter morning dress might be some soft brown cashmere2 she could vary this by having two or three soft silk handkerchiefs as waistcoats in the pretty prevailing fashion of the day1 and could have a dark brown1 a deep yellow1 or a pale pink one4 ,this dress would look well with the sealskin1 or with a tan jacket should the weather be too warm for the former1 and the hat should be brown or else dark blue with brown feathers in2 this would allow of the second dress being powder or gendarme blue2 this could be trimmed with bands of sealskin or soft brown silk1 and here would be every-day garments to don in ,october and wear off and on until the first few warm days in ,may turn our thoughts to new and lighter clothes4 ,a best hat should always be in stock2 but this must harmonise with what she already has in the way of dresses4 ,these must be good2 the two will then1 with the help of a judicious maid1 come out again in the following autumn as very good every-day dresses and dresses for wet ,sundays1 and all that will be required is an afternoon party dress1 which can also be worn on fine ,sundays to church and for afternoon wear1 should ,sunday callers be allowed and encouraged in the manner ,i trust they are4 ,summer dresses are where the strain comes on our resources1 and where the clever maid comes in so well4 ,one can buy a print costume unmade for about #ahs4 #f;d41 but made up in ,london it costs about #cl4 #ajs4 to #dl42 ,i have never seen a decently made one under this price4 ,the maid should suffice for these costumes1 the simple banded ,norfolk bodice being easily managed1 as can some of the looser bodices2 and great care should be taken to purchase about three yards more of the print than is absolutely needed4 ,print dresses in our wretched climate generally last two seasons1 and1 as they generally shrink in the wash1 it is wise to provide ourselves with material for new sleeves or new fronts2 it can be washed before being used to ensure that no appearance of patching is given by the new unfaded material being placed against that which must have faded a little during the last wear4 ,we have discovered in ,stafford 7rather #8a far cry1' as the ,scots would say7 a capital dressmaker who1 for absolutely reasonable prices1 makes charming print dresses for #des4 and excellent material dresses for girls for about #ges4 ,i know these wear because we have tried them often and often1 and1 indeed1 my daughter gets all her morning dresses there4 ,i shall not publish her name1 because ,i do not want her to be inundated with work or raise her prices1 but if she can manage to do this--and naturally it must pay her to do so--why can't ,london dressmakers do the same8 ,i pause for a reply1 and in the meantime meditate ruefully on the different prices ,i have to pay for my garments to those charged by the ,stafford dressmaker4 ,i have always believed that ladies properly instructed in this art of dressmaking1 and banded together1 could make a comfortable living out of providing the garments of their fortunate sisters who had not to work4 ,they would not make their fortunes1 but they should do well if they do not pitchfork themselves into the place because every other work they have tried has failed1 but take it because they have had an excellent training and are really tasteful and capable of advising about1 as well as making1 the clothes1 which are such a burden and trouble to most of us4 ,of course they would be invaluable to the girls with a limited allowance2 they would know what was worn1 what would suit them and their purses at the same time2 and they would keep a staff of humbler sewers who would renovate the garments it should be their pride and delight to make the very utmost of2 while to those like myself1 for example1 who must have suitable and pretty dresses1 and have not sufficient time to obtain this desirable end without immense expense1 they would be simply invaluable1 and we should be spared making the mistakes we are constantly making1 the while we should be sure that our advancing years should receive due notice at their skilful hands1 and that we should be suitably as well as becomingly dressed1 and that at a not undue expense4 ,i should be very grateful to anyone who would start such an establishment2 she could charge for her advice plus the dress1 as ,i charge for my advice about furniture and household management1 and ,i am quite sure her establishment would soon be the centre of an admiring throng of girl disciples1 to say nothing of the elder women1 who would be thankful to be taken in hand1 to be prevented from buying unbecoming garments1 or things which have nothing in common with the rest of their possessions1 and who could shop there in peace1 knowing they would have kindly counsel1 instead of being assured lyingly by the saleswoman that a perfectly unsuitable bonnet is the most becoming thing she has ever seen1 and that an ugly black mantle is so handsome that1 given this1 it will act as charity and cover a multitude of sins in the shape of a shabby dress2 the real truth being that the gorgeous mantle only accentuates the shabbiness1 and1 by adding another to the rank of the black mantle wearers1 gives another evidence of the fact that1 as a rule1 ,englishwomen in the street are the worst-dressed women in the world4 ,to really dress well costs an immense amount of money1 for to ensure correct and pleasing dress it is absolutely necessary that all things shall match in some measure--mantle1 dress1 bonnet1 and hose must be en suite2 but if we cannot afford to go in for this we should restrict ourselves to one or two colours at the outside1 we should never buy anything which is at the height of fashion1 and1 above all1 we should wear our clothes carefully1 and we should not disdain to see they are put away in an absolutely spotless condition1 with each atom of dust and dirt removed1 every small necessary mending done1 and with soft paper between the folds4 ,unless we have this religiously seen to the handsomest dress soon becomes draggle-tailed and shabby1 while a cheap or inferior material wears three times as long as it otherwise would do if we see it is treated properly4 ,but cheap or flimsy materials should never1 under any circumstances1 be bought1 unless the girls can make them up themselves1 to wear at home evenings or during the summer1 or unless the sewing-maid can do them2 the making and trimming cost three times as much as the stuff1 which hardly looks nice for three days1 while good material pays for good making and wears until one is really tired of being in the same garment4 ,when that feeling comes to us we should lay the dress aside for some months and then take it out again2 the rest actually seems to have done the garment good1 and we wear it again with pleasure1 instead of putting it on each morning with renewed dislike and distaste1 as we did before we put it into the wardrobe for the short retirement we advise4 ,if matrons over forty-five cannot afford to spend very much on their garments1 ,i do most strongly advise them to keep to black and very dark shades of greens and reds2 these1 however1 should be left absolutely alone should there be any tendency to embonpoint1 then black must be de rigueur4 ,this seems a little hard1 and of course black is to a certain extent uninteresting wear2 but we can console ourselves for the fate to which all must come by knowing that we are suitably attired1 and that1 at all events1 we are not making ourselves ridiculous by vying with our daughters about our clothes4 ,women are the age they look4 ,i know some of the above-named age who do not look a day more than thirty-five1 and they therefore should dress as they please4 ,but the moment age begins to show let us calmly acknowledge that our pretty days are over1 and garb ourselves accordingly4 ,we need not be dowdy in these days4 ,black and dark raiment generally can be made as nice as possible and quite festive-looking2 but we should be suitably dressed1 and1 after all1 we don't want either admiration or attention then from the outside world2 we are sure of both at home if we rule rightly and are queen of the only kingdom that is worth having--the beautiful kingdom of ,home4 ,what does anything else matter1 if we are still looked upon by our husbands with as much pleasure and admiration as they gave us in those never-to-be-forgotten days of courtship1 and if our children consider us nicer1 kinder1 and wiser than anyone else8 ,to obtain such applause is worth the whole struggle of living to preserve it--any amount of trouble which we can possibly take4 ,therefore1 let all costume themselves suitably--the girl in the prettiest frocks she can possibly afford2 the matron quietly1 becomingly1 and richly2 and1 above all1 let all consider carefully the matching that ,i so strongly advocate1 and let the girl who begins her allowance always keep most correct accounts1 showing these and her paid bills when the next quarter is paid1 and let her never be too proud to ask her mother's assistance1 especially if she cannot see her way to make both ends meet2 but never pass over a debt1 and let her see you notice all she spends4 ,it may seem a little inquisitorial1 it will really save her endless care and worry if you prevent her in any way you can from getting into a habit of forestalling her income--a habit that1 once formed1 is one that hardly anyone ever shakes off in after life1 try how one will4 ,the ball-dresses are the garments which try a girl more than anything1 the tulle skirts and pretty flounces1 which cost so much1 getting so soon spoiled and messed2 and ,i think the stock of the first season's dresses must be helped considerably by the parents1 else will the poor girl feel herself worse dressed than anyone else2 and that is a small misery that should never be allowed if in any measure it can be avoided4 ,the years from eighteen to twenty-one are undoubtedly the most joyous of any a woman ever has4 ,they are not always the happiest1 taking our standard of happiness very high1 but they are the brightest1 sunniest1 and most amusing that the average girl will ever have1 more especially if she have been carefully brought up in a good atmosphere and be not tormented with those uncomfortable religious doubts and miserable hankerings after a career and after reforming the world we some of us had such a severe attack of at that age4 ,i personally would not be eighteen again for all the wealth of the ,indies4 ,then1 ,i thought it extremely grand to believe in nothing1 to have a gloomy satisfaction in my superior mind1 which soared above the old beliefs1 and formed a misty religion of my own1 which meant nothing and led nowhere1 and to indulge in dreadful sarcasms--mentally only 7,i am thankful to say ,i did not often utter them7--on the worldly wisdom of those folks who naturally wished their daughters to marry well and turned cold shoulders on the poorest and generally most undeserving of suitors1 and ,i used to stay up until the small hours of the morning 7although ,i was dreadfully sleepy7 inditing the most awful verses against the rich and titled folks1 whom ,i naturally thought were fattening on the poor and miserable1 and to whom ,i intended to go on a species of socialistic crusade2 and finally in writing a big novel1 which used to make me feel very much more intellectual than most of the people ,i mixed with1 and which1 after an evening spent among the brightest and first intellects in the world1 ,i used to contemplate savagely1 having been made to feel very small1 though ,i would have died rather than confess such a thing--a feeling ,i did not mean ever to experience again1 once that magnum opus was given to the world and people really knew me for the genius ,i was4 ,alas6 that recognition has never come yet2 still1 ,i am very happy without it1 and am always doubly thankful my days of craving for worldwide fame have vanished1 and that ,i neither want that nor to believe in anything any more4 ,i hope1 however1 there are not many girls as silly as ,i was then1 and as ,i dare say ,i should have continued to be had ,i not married--,i1 who scorned the idea of the ordinary ,british matron1 and regarded children and household cares with bitter disgust4 ,and during the twenty years ,i have been a wife1 ,i am always struck with wonder when ,i remember the imaginative1 impulsive thing that was myself so long ago1 and try to trace in my present self the miserable1 ambitious cynic ,i fondly hoped was some day going to set the world on fire and blossom out as a new ,thackeray or ,dickens4 ,nothing feminine was good enough for me2 ,i meant to beat the men or do nothing at all4 ,such a girlhood as that may be of infinite service1 and was1 but it cannot be called a happy one2 still1 ,i think ,i was the exception1 not the rule1 therefore ,i ask that all who can possibly manage it will see their girls are happy as long as they are young2 to give them their allowance because they should learn how to spend money1 but to add a dress here and there1 an ornament1 a new trimming judiciously if in any way you can afford it1 and go without yourself rather than allow a girl to be shabby or worry herself to death over a wearing-out garment2 at the same time let her learn to do her own repairs and have lessons in dressmaking2 make her happy1 but at the same time let her help herself to the desired end4 ,i hope there may never be too many daughters in the family for this allowance of #ejl4 to be an impossibility2 no girl can dress really on less4 ,if there are1 she must be taught early to make her own garments1 and she must learn1 furthermore1 that she must spend far more time and thought over her clothes than is good for her1 should the allowance be much less1 and should she be obliged to go out into society a good deal4 ,as ,i stated at first1 ,i am not now writing for the young beginners1 but for those whose children are growing up1 and who have made and are making a good income2 ,i therefore trust that what ,i have said about dress will be taken only by those for whom it is intended1 the ,angelina of #8,from ,kitchen to ,garret1' poor dear1 having often enough to do without much that she would have thought indispensable in the old days4 ,,chapter ,,viii4 ,,christenings ,,and ,,weddings4 ,there is a great deal to consider1 apart from the mere arrangement of the ceremonies1 about the events of which ,i mean to speak in this chapter1 therefore no book devoted to the interests of the home could be complete without at least some words on both subjects4 ,to begin with3 the old story of the bad fairy told us in our childhood1 who invariably was forgotten1 and as invariably turned up without an invitation at the christening of the prince or princess1 is not as improbable as it appeared to be on the first reading4 ,the bad fairy may be an infuriated relative to whom we have forgotten to write2 it may be family pride outraged by the name chosen for the infant2 or it may take the form of having asked the wrong instead of the right individual to stand for the child2 but all too often it is there1 and the heedless conduct that raised the evil fairy from her sleep may bring about consequences that are as unpleasant as they are certainly unexpected and generally undeserved1 for ,i have often observed that the deepest insults are those we are most unconscious of giving1 and that the evil habit of #8taking offence' is often increased by conduct that was as innocent in design as it was certainly disastrous in the effect4 ,and now let us pause for a moment and speak on the subject of taking offence1 a matter that has given rise to endless family divisions and caused more broken friendships and quarrels than anything else in the world4 ,to begin with3 it is a sign of a common1 jealous1 vain nature to take offence2 it shows that the offended person is so endued with a sense of her own importance that she is always on the look-out for an affront1 that she has such a low idea of human nature that she is suspicious of everything that happens1 and is always expecting some slur is being cast on her1 some dreadful plot against her dignity is being hatched2 and she is so vain that she thinks everything that happens is especially levied at her1 though generally she was as far from the thoughts of the offending person as she well could be4 ,a family possessing such a touchy member is indeed much to be pitied2 one can see nothing or very little of any acquaintance possessed of such a disposition1 and indeed no one would wish to see such a one more than one can help2 but a member of the family must be considered in some way2 therefore such an individual is all too often the bad fairy1 who1 having once received or fancied she received an insult1 never forgets it1 harps on it always1 and ends by doing immeasurable harm in more ways than one by her disagreeable and untutored tongue4 ,and notice ,i say she and her4 ,i don't consider we can learn much from men1 but we can certainly learn larger-mindedness from them2 for very seldom do we find a man taking offence in the childish and touchy fashion far too many women are so fond of doing4 ,as a rule we are all too busy to soften the aspirations of such an individual1 and so we drift apart without any distinct quarrel1 gradually seeing less and less of each other1 until we do not meet at all2 but it is generally well1 if we possibly can1 to go straight to anyone like this and find out the cause of offence1 at the same time refraining from doing so unless we care very much about it1 because1 ten chances to one1 the person who takes offence once will always be doing so1 and it is not worth one's while1 as a rule1 to conciliate those who will find a subject for offence in everything one says and does1 unless one is always flattering them1 an easily offended person having the most ravenous appetite for flattery possible to conceive4 ,therefore1 when a christening has to be thought about1 we should first consider if there be any ,scylla to avoid1 any ,charybdis past which we must navigate the boat1 and1 above all1 must we endeavour to be quite independent about the most important subject of all--viz4 how to name the child4 ,i do not go quite as far as does a friend of mine1 who considers the names he gives his children act on their nature1 and that they insensibly form their characters to in some measure sympathise with their baptismal names4 ,thus1 for example1 it would be as impossible for ,john to be naughty as for ,jack to be anything save a pickle1 for ,edith to be anything save calm and religious1 while ,trixy must be a flirt and set all her lovers by the ears4 ,but still ,i do think a great deal depends upon the name1 especially if the surname happens to be rather uncommon or pretty1 and that the judicious selection of well-sounding names does wonders4 ,but here we must steer between plain ,john ,brown1 who could never be anyone1 try as hard as he might1 and the ,reginald de ,montmorency ,brown1 which is the laughing-stock of the neighbours1 and which is a grief to the unfortunate holder thereof through life1 unless the possession of such a name forces him to become as ridiculous as it is itself2 then1 of course1 he is quite happy1 and we need not pity him at all4 ,another thing ,i do most earnestly deprecate is the perpetuating of family names1 unless the name happens to be a pretty one and is chosen for itself4 ,in the first place1 family names are generally hideous1 and in the second we cannot name the child after all the members of both families2 to give precedence to the father's family names will offend the mother's family1 and generally the unfortunate infant is not only saddled with a hideous name1 but finds itself a bone of contention almost before it has any bones at all2 while1 if we boldly select the names which seem to us euphonious and to harmonise with the surname1 we shall offend no one1 and shall show we have an individuality that must be respected by the members of both families alike4 ,then1 too1 if families are large and have endless branches1 great confusion is caused by each separate ,paterfamilias having one of these names among his flock4 ,cousins very often stay in the same house1 and come to visit each other1 and if there are ten ,miss ,elizabeth ,smiths and these happen to be staying together1 how are their letters to be distinguished8 ,the possession of similar initials in families has made mischief enough2 the possession of similar names can make twice as much again4 ,in naming a boy we must think whether he can be made miserable at school by having either a grand or girlish name1 which the young fiends1 his schoolfellows1 can turn into something to his disadvantage1 and1 if possible1 the younger sons should always have some good surname before the family name2 this will enable them to keep distinct4 ,for example1 if the eldest son is called ,charles ,robinson 7not that ,i should call any boy such a frightful name71 his next brother can be called ,john ,smith ,robinson 7supposing his mother's name to have been ,smith71 while the third could be ,william ,brown ,robinson1 thus marking the distinct families at once1 and allowing the sons of the holders of these names to have the double name1 and perhaps the aristocratic hyphen1 satirised by ,corney ,grain1 which is so dear to the heart of the ordinary suburban resident1 while it is not a bad plan to give the girls their surname as well as a pretty ,christian-name at baptism4 ,this would allow people to trace pedigrees easily were it a universal custom1 and would be of great assistance in writing the family history we ought one and all of us to possess1 for it is astonishing how much we are helped in our attempt to bring up our children if we have any knowledge of our forbears1 and can trace in any way the habits and occupations of those from whom we have sprung4 ,having settled on the child's name and registered it before we tell our relations and friends1 the impossibility of making a change saving endless painful and unprofitable discussions1 the next thing is to decide on the god-parents4 ,as a rule this is a mere form1 but of course it should not be so4 ,a god-parent necessarily sends a more or less handsome present at the time of the christening1 comes to the ceremony if he or she can1 and then forgets all about the child4 ,but this1 ,i repeat1 should never be4 ,the god-parents should keep up a friendly intercourse with their god-children2 they should know where they are1 what they are doing2 they should most undoubtedly be present at the confirmation ceremony1 and they should always at ,christmas either write to their god-children1 send one of those useful and pretty cards1 which ,i trust will never go out of fashion1 or else give some little gift that does not cost much1 while it makes the link between them very real1 and gives some meaning to a position that at present would often be more honoured in the breach than in the observance4 ,of course it is easy enough to manage this in one's own rank of life1 and we ought to have as many god-children as we can honestly interest ourselves in2 but we should never undertake the office unless we mean to perform the duties2 and we ought occasionally to #8stand for' some of our poorer neighbours' children4 ,as a rule they are delighted to have us1 and it gives us a hold over them we could not otherwise acquire2 while a boy or a girl has always a sense of obligation to behave better and do better in life if he or she has a god-parent in a higher station than his or her own1 to whom they can come for advice and help by right1 and from whom they receive at ,christmas1 at confirmation1 or at any important step in life1 some trifling token4 ,therefore ,i do not think god-parents can think too much of their duties1 or neglect to stand for all they can manage to look after2 it is something to do--something that can also do endless good1 if we undertake the duties properly4 ,when the god-parents are chosen the christening-day should be fixed1 and this should be the very first day that the mother and child can go out of doors4 ,the clergyman who performs all the family services should be asked of course1 and the time selected should be about the middle of the day1 and1 if possible1 the font should be nicely decorated with white flowers4 ,of course the correct thing would be to have a public service with the congregation2 the church always looks dismal and horrid when empty1 and1 according to the rubric1 the service should be public2 but ,i should never advise this4 ,in the first place1 the mother is never quite strong enough to stand the long service2 and1 in the second1 babies do howl so that the congregation is made miserable1 and1 therefore1 what is really an excellent theory is a practice to be avoided4 ,unless the christening is postponed1 a thing ,i cannot contemplate for one moment1 a child's first outing should be to church2 there is no doubt whatever in my own mind about that4 ,take this for granted1 and half the misery of a christening disappears2 never allow it to be postponed1 and it is done as a matter of course4 ,if the god-parents selected cannot be present1 they must be represented by proxy2 and they should never be waited for1 any more than they should be chosen for any reason save that we are fond of them1 that they are related to us1 or such friends that we know they would do the best they could for us were we to die and leave the children to the mercy of the world at large--as regards their mental welfare1 ,i don't mean their bodily4 ,i repeat here1 that no one has the smallest right to bring a child into the world for whose existence he cannot in some measure duly provide4 ,without emulating the ,roman ,catholic habit of confession1 ,i much like to feel that each family possesses some clergyman among its friends1 who stands to it in some measure in the position that a ,romish priest does to many households4 ,the finer ceremonies of life and death should be conducted by one man2 and it is always a great pleasure to me to feel that he who married us christened all our children1 while it is as great a regret that he cannot any more perform any more ceremonies for us1 for he has gone where ceremonies are of no avail1 and where he has1 no doubt1 already received his reward4 ,however1 though none can take his place1 we have still a #8family priest2' and ,i think all the simple ceremonies of our ,church are made a thousand times holier by the fact that one man performs them1 and that he takes that individual interest in us no strange clergyman ever can4 ,let anyone see a christening in a town church1 hastily performed by a man to whom the infant is nothing but an unpleasant lump of lace and fussy clothes1 or at best one more little soldier for the great army1 and the same ceremony performed by a man who knows and loves the parents1 and ,i shall need no more words if this does not express all ,i mean4 ,let my readers note the conduct of any cemetery chaplain reading the burial service1 with which custom has made him hideously familiar1 and then hear someone who has known and loved the dead read it2 ,i am sure1 after that1 ,i need not plead for the election in each family of some good man as family priest4 ,he is a comfort1 indeed1 with whom no one can afford to dispense1 even in this hurrying1 fashionable life of ours4 ,when the church and all is settled1 the baby's dress is undoubtedly a matter for great consideration4 ,in some families grandmamma produces the robe the child's father was christened in1 and of course that1 and nothing else1 should be worn4 ,of course1 equally1 high neck and sleeves should be added1 and a little flannel bodice can be placed with advantage under the fine open-neck bodice of the robe2 white ribbons should tie up the sleeves and be placed under the waist1 and the cloak should not be either heavy or unduly gorgeous4 ,the hood and cloak must be removed in the church1 and the nurse should do this quickly and silently the moment the ceremony begins1 placing a big1 soft shawl round the child2 this allows it to become quiet1 and does not ensure the roar which invariably follows if the child is handed to the clergyman the moment its clothes are taken off4 ,it should be rolled in the shawl until the christening service is over1 then it can be dressed and shriek if it likes2 no one but the nurse will be disturbed by its howling then4 ,baptism is a sacrament1 and therefore there are no fees to be given to the clergyman1 but the father goes into the vestry to give particulars about the name1 c41 for registration in the church books1 and he should then make the clerk some small present--#es4 would be ample for most middle-class families1 while #al4 would be princely4 ,if the clergyman has come some distance one should take care he was no loser by it1 delicately and nicely1 and if one is rich some present should be given to the church itself to mark the ceremony2 there is always something a church lacks that we can give without ruining ourselves2 in fact1 all these simple ceremonies should teach us to love the ,church with the singular attachment even ,dissenters have for it1 and should make us more to each other as a congregation than we otherwise would be had we no religion to bind us together4 ,the christening over1 the baby should be taken1 according to a dear old ,yorkshire superstition1 to be shown to some friend who will give it bread1 salt1 sixpence1 and a new-laid egg2 and if this superstition be respected1 and1 moreover1 if the infant be taken up in the world before it is taken down 7i4e4 carried upstairs before it goes down71 my old nurse used to declare that it must be lucky and could defy any amount of bad fortune4 ,she invariably climbed by a stool up to a high settee with our children because our house had not a third story1 and much she used to amuse us with these small vagaries2 they were a matter of real moment to her1 and we indulged her4 ,why not8 ,if they did no good they most certainly could do no earthly harm4 ,now1 before we pass on from the christening ceremony to speak of weddings--a much more enthralling subject--,i want to say one word on the matter of family gatherings4 ,i know quite well ,i am venturing almost on forbidden ground1 and that such an idea as a family party is beneath contempt in these days1 when we want nothing but amusement1 and dislike running the chance of being bored more than anything else4 ,still1 ,i am going to speak about them1 and ,i trust that ,i may show that they are not only unobjectionable if properly managed1 but that they are absolutely necessary if we are to keep up anything like a good feeling amongst the members of one family4 ,the reasons why1 as a rule1 families separate and fall apart are1 first of all1 because some go up while others remain stationary1 and others creep slowly down the hill2 and1 secondly1 because there are none of the small civilities and amenities of life practised among relations that render society possible and pleasing4 ,if a sister thinks another sister's conduct is not just what it ought to be she tells her so1 without considering that she has no more business to take her to task than she has to call on and scold her next-door neighbour2 they frankly discuss the manner in which the respective children are brought up1 and1 indeed1 often make themselves so interfering and disagreeable that the family party ends in tears and in mutual vows against any attempt at the same thing again4 ,now1 as regards the first offence1 it is one we ought to be able to bear with equanimity1 especially if we are remaining stationary while others are flourishing on a plain above our heads4 ,in the first place1 the honour and success of the one member is the property of all1 and we can glory in it too1 while1 if we are at the top of the tree1 no one will envy us that position if they share it in some measure1 and if we take care that they are not hurt by our assuming airs that are as ridiculous as they are unkind4 ,a man who forgets and ignores his poor relations is a snob1 and is invariably laughed at by those who know of their existence2 while if he never forgets them1 and is good to them always1 he reaps a reward no one can deprive him of in the tender affection1 pride in his attainments1 and unselfish delight in his success1 which would be turned to gall and wormwood were he to turn his back on and ignore those whose flesh and blood he shares1 and who must always be his relations1 try how he may to shift them off his shoulders entirely4 ,give this feeling1 and ,i maintain that we can have family parties which are quite successful1 more especially if we remember the second pitfall and refrain from these hideously spiteful remarks some families seem to regard in the light of indispensable tonics2 and we should always try that our simple ceremonies of christenings1 birthdays1 ,christmas1 and weddings should include all those of our immediate kin who are near enough to share them4 ,let all be asked1 let them see you are glad to see them1 and give them your best 7not your second best1 please71 and ,i am quite sure the family party will be as successful as any other you may be induced to give4 ,of course the party need not be all family2 a judicious admixture of outsiders is always to be recommended1 more especially if we are at the top of the tree and can take this opportunity of introducing some of our #8best' people to those who are pleased to meet them1 although their present means may not allow of their entertaining them in their own houses in the same manner that we can4 ,these differences cannot be helped1 and indeed they should be a source of pleasure to all1 as ,i said before1 and undoubtedly would be were family feeling cultivated among us in a manner that it certainly is not in most ,english homes4 ,therefore all these ceremonies should be made an occasion for family parties1 and at ,christmas time1 too1 all should meet who can1 at the house of the eldest of the family1 should the father and mother be unable to have their gathering or be dead1 as is so often the case2 and there should be regular preparations for enjoyment1 a #8surprise' 7my annual surprise considerably shortens my life71 a ,christmas tree1 games1 and a good supper1 all mapped out just as if we expected the greatest strangers and wished to impress them with our forms of hospitality4 ,take rather more pains about the arrangements and details of a family party than any other2 ,i am quite sure that if you do you will be amply rewarded4 ,and now to think about weddings and marriages1 generally a most enthralling subject to fathers and mothers when the children have grown up and they begin to contemplate the idea of their leaving the fireside for homes of their own1 when begins1 ,i think1 the most difficult period of our life1 and when we cannot be too careful whom we admit to our houses1 the while we must not be unduly fussy1 else we spoil our children's chance of happiness1 and make them miserably anxious for themselves and their possible fate--a fate ,i would postpone for ever if ,i had my way1 for who can calmly contemplate passing on one's daughter to another's care1 ,i wonder8 while one's possible daughters-in-law can never be anything1 ,i fear1 save successful rivals to the throne one occupies in one's boys' hearts4 ,but these things will happen1 and equally of course all girls should marry1 a happy marriage being the best fate for any woman1 no matter how cultivated1 how talented she may be4 ,i have no doubts whatever on that subject4 ,suppose she writes2 who so fit to battle with the publisher as the husband8 or she paints2 well1 he can smile on the critics and undermine them with a good cigar and all the rest of it4 ,or does she sing8 ,surely1 surely the husband's protection comes in there more than ever2 while for those lucky women who only want to fulfil their destiny and make a home1 the husband of course takes his right position at once1 and is guardian1 bread-winner1 and head in a way that ,nature intended him to be1 and that all real women want him to be4 ,the few who clamour for another arrangement don't understand the subject at all1 and are as ridiculous as they are abnormal and few in number1 and therefore need not be considered in the least4 ,there is1 therefore1 no doubt that women should marry if they can2 and if not1 well1 there is plenty for them to do1 although they will never be as happy--,i am sure of that--as the happily married woman2 neither will they ever suffer as an unhappily married woman must1 albeit very many unhappy marriages would have been far otherwise had people had common sense at first and married each other as what they were1 and not what they supposed each other to be2 resenting their own mistakes on the unfortunate object they had deified1 and not on their own stupid selves1 while of course they should be resolved to make the best of what was inevitable1 and to really make the wife or husband become all they had imagined him or her to be4 ,when the discussion on the subject of #8marriage being a failure' was going forward ,i was only deterred from joining in the fray by the knowledge that my indignant feelings on this subject were so strong they rendered me incoherent2 but ,i was glad ,i did not1 for no one could have driven sense into the heads of a good many of the silly women who wrote rubbish about their woes4 ,of course there are unhappy marriages1 plenty of them1 made worse1 to my mind1 a thousand times by our present disgracefully easy divorce laws2 but1 trace them to the beginning1 and ,i venture to state that one and all of these marriages would have been happy had the parties to them been properly brought up1 and1 above all1 properly told what marriage really means1 not only to themselves1 but to those who may very probably come after them4 ,not one girl who marries but knows that the man by whose side she stands at the altar is not only her lover1 but the possible father of her children2 and yet what mother would not consider herself simply dreadful were she to say this to her daughter when the proposal is made1 and her fate is yet in abeyance8 and yet what more important matter could be spoken of8 ,i think none4 ,a girl who marries a man--an old man--for his money1 even from the very highest possible motives--from the idea1 may be1 that she is not only ensuring the safety of her own future but that of many who may be near and dear to her--is committing not only a crime against herself and her own future1 but is ensuring that the faults1 sins1 and selfishnesses of the man she marries are passed on to endless generations2 and where such a marriage is contemplated ,i maintain that a mother has an imperative duty before her1 and that she must tell her daughter straight out1 that the sufferings she must endure in her own person in daily contact with her future husband will not be a tithe of what will come upon her when she begins to recognise his sins and his evil ways reappearing in those children who may come to her1 and who will bring their own retribution with them2 be sure of that4 ,it is a priceless boon to know that one inherits a right and a duty to be good in the broadest sense of the word4 ,i personally do not care one fig what a man's trade or worldly position is so long as he is absolutely honest and trustworthy1 and would not act or speak an untruth2 and this is the sort of inheritance we should strive to hand on to our children4 ,the higher the station the more should be the endeavour to live in such a way that our example may be valued2 but1 whatever the station1 let us remember that there is always some one influenced by us1 and that we have obligations to them which we must consider if we want to live a really good life4 ,and one of the first things to think of is this question of marriage1 not only because of ourselves1 but because of the children who may come to us1 and who must be thought of before we give our girls to men who may make them #8fairish' husbands2 perhaps may not ill-treat them or beat them1 but who are not possessed of sufficient individuality to be the heads of their own houses1 and who have not honest souls and some ambitions above the mere ruck of living and making as much money as they possibly can1 not only because such men can never be the makers and possessors of a home1 but because they may leave children whose weaknesses and wickednesses may not only break their mother's heart1 but may make the world worse than they find it1 one's truest ambition being to make the world1 or one's own special corner thereof1 better than one found it in some way or other4 ,young people naturally resent advice1 and rarely1 if ever1 act upon it1 and we have all taken this to heart so much that some of us have ceased to give advice at all4 ,but this should not be so2 the advice may not be taken--that we cannot help--but it is our duty to give it1 and ,i hope all mothers will do so1 whether their children act upon it or not4 ,we should not shirk a duty because we cannot see any effects2 they may appear even when we have long ceased to look for them4 ,the sins of the fathers must be visited on the children2 there is no doubt about that4 ,we need not argue about it2 it is a fact that we all have to acknowledge1 and therefore there is no need to go into the rights and wrongs of the matter1 for no amount of argument will do away with this inevitable truth2 and equally1 therefore1 a woman should choose not only a man she loves1 but a man she respects1 and one it shall be her very greatest pride to know her children will resemble4 ,she will be spared endless suffering if she do1 for there is no suffering on earth like that caused by wicked children1 or even by the anxieties about weakly and suffering children2 and she had better remain an old maid all her life than bring upon herself the unspeakable wretchedness of having children who are a constant source of anxiety to her because of what they may1 nay1 of what they must inherit4 ,given a clean record1 a stainless youth1 a good constitution1 and an honest worker1 and we need ask no more for our girls4 ,it will not hurt them to begin their new life on a much lower scale than that which they have been accustomed to1 more especially if we have taught them their duty to themselves and their future4 ,then1 if we know that the young couple honestly love each other1 we can feel content4 ,and by love ,i do not mean blind1 unreasoning passion1 the mad1 extraordinary feeling that one reads about in novels1 and which generally lands one or the other in the ,divorce ,court1 and of which ,i have nothing to say1 but ,i do mean that wonderful self-devotion to another1 the mutual respect and regard1 and the absolute unselfishness1 that make up the true love that never fades1 and that increases year by year in those whose married life was based on such love as this1 and whose home reflects around the happiness which is centred there1 and which can only be procured by those who begin their life together on a proper basis1 and who do not expect to find in each other the god or goddess of perfection1 who would probably be as unpleasant to live with as he or she is undoubtedly non-existent in this world of ours4 ,of course all this sounds fearfully prosaic1 and is1 no doubt1 middle-aged philosophy2 but it would not be worth writing down if it were not middle-aged1 because it would be imagination only and not the fruits of experience4 ,i have lived a certain number of years1 and ,i have had large opportunities of observation1 and ,i am certain of what ,i am saying1 that the truest marriages are those which are framed on respect as well as love1 and that those women are the happiest who can implicitly trust and believe in the men to whom they have given themselves in some measure body and soul2 and that1 furthermore1 they get the most out of life who take care every moment they live has something to occupy it1 and that that occupation benefits someone beside their immediate selves4 ,i have often heard people say that the first year of their married life1 and indeed that the honeymoon itself1 was the very dullest and most difficult period of their whole lives2 but ,i have always listened to these statements with astonishment1 for ,i have come to the conclusion that if what they say is true it must be that1 like the despised family parties1 it is because they did not manage their affairs properly4 ,why1 the honeymoon should be the most amusing journey one ever makes--,i know mine was--for one sets out together with an entertaining feeling that the absence of the chaperon for the first time gives just a soupon of delightful impropriety to the journey2 that for absolutely the first time in one's life one can go where one likes and do as one likes2 that if one liked to put on one's ,sunday frock on a week-day one would only be admired and not scolded1 and that one's shopping becomes actually important and not frivolous1 because it is for the house and not for oneself merely4 ,besides1 there is the amusement of seeing new places with a congenial spirit1 and with one who does not consider it his duty to insist on learning all he can about a place2 in fact1 the honeymooners are no longer children to be educated1 but people bent on amusing themselves together1 with no arrire-penses2 these come afterwards4 ,then business has become dreadfully imperative in its demands on the husband1 while the wife leaves home for a holiday1 her mind distracted between pleasure and a melancholy foreboding of what may happen during her absence to children and household1 neither of which can naturally trouble her during that first delightful jaunt1 which should always be to some amusing1 bright place where theatres can be fallen back on should it be wet1 or where picture galleries could be visited under similar adverse circumstances4 ,one can visit the dullest of places safely together after one has been married years2 there are then mutual interests which will always occupy husband and wife3 but at first this is actual suicide2 there are then not very many things to discuss1 and the unfortunate young people fall back on endearments and use up in a month that which should last them comfortably for all their lives4 ,but we are arriving at the honeymoon before we have allowed the engagement1 and must therefore retrace our steps1 or else we shall omit the most important item of all--viz4 how to act when we see an engagement is imminent and we are not sure if we like it or not4 ,we should soon make up our minds on the subject though1 for if we do not approve we can easily manage that the young people shall not meet any more4 ,it only requires tact and common sense1 two qualities which seem to me often strangely lacking in the ordinary ,british household4 ,and1 indeed1 all that appertains to matrimony is made very difficult by the extraordinary manner in which ,english society looks upon the relations between young men and girls2 in some measure allowing great familiarity1 and in another way turning on anyone and calling her #8match-maker1' should the unfortunate individual attempt to bring together those she thinks would like to see a little more of each other4 ,match-maker1 indeed6 ,why1 ,i consider it the duty of every happily married woman to try and make others happy in a similar way2 and ,i have known more than one happy woman rendered a miserably disappointed spinster1 just because the right person was not at hand to manage a last meeting1 or give the one opportunity that was all that was required to make liking into love1 or to ensure the speaking of the question that had trembled on the lips for some time4 ,of course marriages are made in heaven1 but ,i also know that ,heaven helps those who help themselves2 and as no girl can do that1 it is the duty of her married friends to help her1 especially if they have any common sense1 and can act ,deus ex machin1 without letting anyone know what they have done4 ,if our young people are #8desperately in love' with the wrong man1 or the wrong girl1 all the better that the love is desperate2 it will burn itself out all the quicker2 but not if we oppose the match tooth and nail1 though at the same time we need not countenance it4 ,we should1 under these adverse circumstances1 state calmly but boldly the reasons we have for our dislikes2 we should simply put all the #8cons' we know in plain words1 and we should listen to the #8pros' equally calmly1 and we should never allow a personal dislike to make any difference in the matter2 but our reasons should be valid and not of the #8,doctor ,fell' kind4 ,then1 if the daughter or son is not convinced1 say no more1 do not oppose it2 let the young people see as much as they can of each other2 if there are disagreeable relations1 make them very welcome to your house2 be civil but not affectionate to the man or girl2 and finally be1 or rather appear to be1 absolutely indifferent4 ,make a fuss1 rage and stamp and oppose1 and you may at the same time order the trousseau4 ,act as ,i advise1 and ten chances to one the match will be broken off2 but if it is not1 and should it turn out well1 be the first to thankfully acknowledge it4 ,should it turn out badly1 refrain from the delightful habit of saying1 #8,i told you so1' but instead recall to the offended party all the reasons he or she had for marrying2 do not condole1 but rather remind him or her of the early days and of the love that once existed1 and remind them that marriage1 once entered into1 must be made the best of4 ,you will do far more good and have far more satisfaction in healing the breach than in proving yourself a true prophet2 for if people were more sure than they are now1 that being bound they cannot get loose1 they would cease to strain against the cords1 use would accustom them to them1 and finally what was once irksome would be pleasurable4 ,people who have once loved each other can always remember the happy days of their youth2 and1 remembering them1 naturally will long to return to them1 or to secure at least in some measure a reflex of them in their middle age4 ,but1 having contemplated this side of the picture1 let us look at the far pleasanter one where all goes merry as a marriage bell1 and the engagement is all that it should be4 ,yet before we do this ,i must just add one other word1 and that is that1 come what may1 no marriage should ever be entered on1 on any pretext whatever1 unless the consent1 if not the approbation1 of the parents has been obtained4 ,i have seen several marriages begin like this2 ,i have never seen one that turned out well1 or that was absolutely a success1 and ,i do wish my readers to remember that this is a fact1 and to therefore refrain from conduct that can have but one result2 besides which1 how can the children of such marriages turn out1 if one has no control over them1 should they desire to do likewise8 for they have the one unanswerable argument in their possession3 #8,you did it2 why should not ,i8' ,then also a man never really respects a woman who throws over every one of her relations for him3 he knows he is not worth the sacrifice1 and though he may be flattered at first1 ultimately he despises the girl who gave up all for him1 and never really regards her with the reverence he must give to her who comes to him from her home1 from her mother's hand1 knowing that that home is the emptier for her absence1 and that a place should always be kept there for her1 should she require to return there for any reason whatever4 ,home should be always home to the married children of the household1 just as much as it is to those who remain spinsters and bachelors2 and on no account should the doors be closed on them1 or should they be allowed to feel that they have become in a measure strangers there1 and that their place being filled knows and requires them no more4 ,the trousseau of a girl should be as ample as can be afforded1 and should have more under-garments than anything else2 dresses alter in fashion so rapidly that it is folly to burden her with too many garments2 neither are unmade costumes any use in these days1 when no good dressmaker will make up one's own materials4 ,i should1 therefore1 give a girl not less than two dozen of every feminine garment1 and as many more of each as ,i could afford4 ,a good trousseau would cost about #bjjl41 and of course as much more as the parents are prepared to spend2 it should include a sealskin coat and a long fur cloak2 the other outside garments should of course depend upon fashion and time of year1 but it is a good plan to have some extra yards of material to all the dresses1 particularly if the bride is going away from ,london to a distant part of the world4 ,when the engagement is really formed1 and the wedding is beginning to be the subject of conversation1 one cannot say all the difficulties are over2 there are the bridegroom's family to welcome and be introduced to1 and though1 of course1 if the bridegroom is well known to us this initial difficulty will not have to be encountered in all its worst forms1 still very often the engagement alters one's relationships suddenly1 and it requires careful steering then to avoid friction2 as a rule the parents on both sides think their children might have done better1 and it is generally difficult to prevent this feeling being unduly apparent4 ,then ,i do beg for all my girl friends that they may have a pretty wedding2 ,i do not want enormous sums spent on the wedding dress1 but ,i do want the church to be nicely decked1 all her friends to be asked who care to come1 not because they may possibly give wedding presents--a species of blackmail which has become seriously unpleasant lately to anyone who is not sufficiently strong-minded to refuse to give because they are afraid of being out of the fashion--but because they are really friends1 and will bring good luck by their loving prayers and real affection4 ,and ,i do deprecate for all the hurried #8quiet weddings' in a tailor-made frock2 a woman should be in white on her festal day1 and it should be indeed a festal day if her marriage is entered on in the spirit ,i have been writing about4 ,i love a pretty wedding3 the bride in her lovely white dress1 and her group of bridesmaids2 the flower-decked church1 the hymns1 and the bright faces of the choir boys 7,i must own ,i have a great weakness for choir boys1 and generally make friends with them all7 are all such a bright beginning to a new life2 and if the solemn words are spoken by the #8family priest1' the man who1 may be1 married the parents and christened and prepared the bride for confirmation1 there remains nothing to be desired1 and we can wish the new home ,god-speed1 knowing our wishes will have every chance of being fulfilled4 ,afternoon weddings1 with the flower-decked tables and the inexpensive refreshments1 bring pretty weddings within the reach of everyone nearly2 even the erstwhile elaborately decorated cake now bears a wreath of simple and real flowers1 instead of the pinchbeck temple that used to be reared on the centre2 and all that is required besides is a certain amount of cake1 ices1 tea and coffee1 and a little wine4 ,here again the expenditure can be regulated by the income2 but it need not be an expensive affair unless one specially desires that it may be4 ,now1 most people are married by banns1 and licences are rarely required2 this simplifies matters very much4 ,but before the wedding is definitely decided on ,i should advise the clergyman of the church one is always in the habit of attending being consulted about all the legal forms2 he is sure to know all that is necessary1 will tell you exactly what you ought to do1 what the choir and organist will expect 7of course1 if the organist be a gentleman1 as he often is1 and a personal friend1 you must give him a present1 not money71 and what steps you must take about the decorations4 ,but do not hand these over to a shop2 be sentimental for once1 and let personal friends undertake this duty4 ,i would rather have hideous decorations put up by hands that loved one1 on such an occasion1 than the most exquisite trophies ever designed by ,mrs4 ,green and put up by those who do not even know the bride and bridegroom by sight4 ,i do hope every bride may soon have her dot1 just like all ,french and ,german maidens have2 but in any case she must not go penniless upon her wedding tour4 ,coventry ,patmore's idea in the #8,angel of the ,house1' that his three-days' bride asked him to pay for the sand-shoes--#8,felix1 will you pay8'--as a matter of course1 is a mere man's notion4 ,i am certain she must have hated to do it1 and would have given anything for some money of her own3 so do not let ,paterfamilias forget this1 even if he have the conscience to allow his daughter to go penniless into her husband's house2 and let him give his daughter a nice little sum of money1 in order that she may not have to ask her husband for a farthing until their return home1 when the allowance question should be gone into and settled1 thus doing away with the constant jar about money1 which is at the bottom of more matrimonial unhappiness than is anything else4 ,i think ,i have said all that is to be said on the subject of weddings1 and have stated boldly how best to secure the happiness of our children2 it is a subject on which ,i feel very deeply1 and when ,i see girls marry men who cannot by any possibility make good husbands or good fathers1 ,i long to tell them this1 but of course no one but their mothers can2 and ,i shall hope that ,i may influence one or two to do so1 and moreover to insist that their children do not marry to perpetuate the disease or the evil tendencies that must wreck innocent lives that have no business ever to exist2 for while1 if marriage is entered into properly1 there can be no failure about it1 marriage being the perfection of life1 the uniting and joining of the two lives1 which1 separate1 are indeed incomplete1 but which1 brought together1 form an absolute and wonderful whole1 a marriage which perpetuates the vices of a drunkard1 of an evil temper1 of an habitual liar1 or the constitution of a consumptive or of a lunatic1 is absolutely wicked1 and can never be anything but a curse to the wife and mother1 whatever it may be to the man himself4 ,a rou has discounted his chances of a happy married life4 ,no woman can reform a rou1 and even if she could she should not try1 because in her children she will perpetuate the father's vices1 and will make the world worse a thousandfold by those she brings into it1 while at the best she may save a soul1 though ,i personally do not believe she could even do this2 at all events1 it is not right to sacrifice her future and her children's future in the endeavour1 and therefore ,i hope she may never try4 ,as ,i said before1 we cannot explain away the mysterious influence of heredity2 but as it exists and is inexorable in its consequences1 we must acknowledge it1 and we must all do our best so to live that we can give our children the noblest inheritance on earth--an unimpaired constitution1 and a name unstained by any mean or low vice1 a name that may be our proudest possession3 aye1 even if we saw it first above the window of some suburban shop6 ,then shall the world become better because we have lived in it and given it hostages also3 and so shall we prove what ,i should like to be always preaching--that marriage is the most blessed state on earth1 if it is begun and carried on mutually with esteem1 affection1 and real consideration1 for each other's welfare4 ,,chapter ,,ix4 ,,about ,,the ,,boys4 ,the poor boys6 ,when ,i begin to write about their home ,i could almost weep when ,i think how small a space of their young lives they are permitted to spend under the home roof4 ,i have said so much in my former book about home education that ,i suppose ,i must not say very much more now1 but ,i long to repeat my protest against the present manner in which boys are sent away from home1 almost before they are able to stand alone1 quite before they are able to withstand all the thousand and one temptations that assail them the moment they are turned into the herd of boys which represents a school1 and where the poor things have to spend most of what ought to be the very happiest part of anyone's life4 ,however1 as public opinion is against me1 ,i am going to set down here the best way of mitigating the evils1 and ,i also intend to give the relative expenses at some of the best of our public schools and colleges1 so that those who read this book may see at a glance whether they can afford to send their boys to ,harrow1 ,eton1 ,rugby1 or ,clifton--,harrow being put first by me1 as ,i am devoted to the bright1 healthy1 happy place1 as ,i suppose all are devoted to the public school of which they know most2 for1 much as ,i deprecate the life at school which is so far away from home influence1 and much as ,i should prefer to live at ,harrow and have my boys home at night1 there is something about a public school education which nothing else gives1 and which can be entered fearlessly at fourteen if the boy have been well trained and if he have a certain amount of moral courage and good principles of his own4 ,it is madness to send a weak-minded lad who inherits evil propensities to a public school2 he is sure sooner or later to disgrace himself and his wretched parents at the same time4 ,but before going into the question of schools and expenses there1 let us dwell for a few minutes on the arrangement of the boys' rooms in the house1 which should ever be the happiest place in the world to them1 and from which should flow that never-failing stream of sympathy in their progress1 their pursuits1 and their general welfare which has borne many a lad on to success and to a brilliant place in the world in after life4 ,an authority told me once that the boys who did best were undoubtedly those who had most letters from home2 who knew everything that was happening at home just as well as if they were there2 to whom the movements of the family and of the animals were as familiar as if they still were among them1 and who were not afraid to tell their parents anything4 ,sympathy is a priceless gift2 sympathy between home and the boys at school is an anchor indeed1 and will keep them safely in the harbour when every other means might otherwise have failed4 ,and this sympathy can but be expressed in constant communication between home and school1 and by a loving care1 while the boys are absent1 of their rooms1 their belongings1 and the especial niche which should be kept sacredly for them1 and not cleared out hastily for them to inhabit1 as it were1 on sufferance during the all too brief holiday time they spend at home4 ,i do not mean to say that during their absence the rooms should never be used1 that would be simply too ridiculous2 but they should not be taken into household wear2 if they are they cease to be the boys' rooms1 and in consequence the boys feel they are a nuisance and putting some one else out2 they do not naturally take their places in the circle1 feeling they are filling a gap which has never been filled since the day they returned to school4 ,i should certainly try to have a place set apart for the boys for wet days and for their own special occupations2 if this cannot be managed1 their bedrooms should be so arranged that at one end they can carry on their several hobbies without doing any damage to the finer portions of the house2 but1 if in any way possible1 secure a sitting-room for them where they can do as they like2 and if you want really perfect holidays find some enthusiastic skater1 cricketer1 or walker as holiday tutor1 and make him responsible for the welfare of the boys4 ,as they do not live at home1 naturally there is no one told off to keep special care of them or to go about with them2 if this is done1 the holidays pass without a hitch1 and without unduly threatening the mother's life1 who1 try as she will1 cannot be sure that1 if the boys are out alone for half an hour longer than usual1 they are not drowned1 or lost1 or lying in ditches with broken legs1 and who can never school herself to be their companion1 even should she be strong enough to be so1 because she is always expecting something dreadful to happen to them4 ,at least ,i know what ,i feel on the subject1 and ,i suppose ,i only feel what everyone else does in the matter4 ,in the boys' rooms1 whether bed or sitting rooms1 ,i advise always the invaluable dado2 this ensures the lower parts of the wall being kept tidy1 and minimises the expense of doing the rooms up when they become shabby4 ,a rail along the floor1 or rather a piece of wood about three inches wide laid along the floor close to the wainscoting1 will keep the chairs1 c41 off the paint1 and then1 if we have a pretty paper above the serviceable matting1 or cretonne1 or arras cloth which forms the dado1 we shall be quite safe to preserve the room for some time1 looking fresh and nice and bright4 ,if baths have to be taken in the boys' rooms1 or if they clean their rifles1 skates1 or other matters there1 or if they have pet animals which share their abode1 ,i strongly advise that the floor should be covered with a plain good linoleum without any pattern on1 and then on the top of that a strong square of carpet should be laid4 ,wallace's #8,victor' is a capital carpet1 and so is ,pearke's ,anglo-,indian square carpet4 ,this should not be fastened down in any way1 and should be most rigorously folded back by the housemaid during those hours when bathing or dirty work is being carried on4 ,the linoleum can always be cleaned with soft warm water1 and kept in order with boiled oil and turpentine1 and the carpet can be put back in a moment1 thus making the room tidy at once4 ,rubbishy cheap furniture should never be bought for a boy's room4 ,naturally by this ,i do not mean we should be unduly reckless over what we buy for the boys1 but that we should go to some good man like ,wallace1 and tell him that we want good seasoned wood and handles which will not pull off1 and drawers and doors which will not stick1 and which will not tempt the lads by such conduct to undue violence in the matter4 ,boys are always in a hurry1 always impatient4 ,they can't help it2 it is a failing of the sex1 and half the damage boys do is caused by the fact that we do not realise this and often give them rickety or common furniture1 because #8anything is good enough for the boys to knock about4' ,there cannot be a greater mistake4 ,give strong ash furniture1 made properly1 a good plain brass and iron bedstead1 and a good chain mattress1 and we shall find it pay2 yes1 even if the boys play ship on the mattress1 the necessary waves being well represented by the manner in which the mattress goes up and down when jumped upon by the intrepid sailors4 ,our mattresses have served as ships and as oceans too1 but they are as good now as the day they were bought1 simply because they were very expensive2 but if they had not been dear ,i don't think there would1 have been anything left of them by now2 therefore cheapness is no economy1 as regards mattresses at any rate2 of that ,i am quite convinced4 ,a good suite of ash furniture containing wardrobe1 washing stand1 and toilet table can be had for about #ajl41 and ,i do not advise less being given4 ,this should be supplemented by a chest of drawers to hold shirts1 socks1 c41 and the boots should be kept either downstairs in the cloak-room or else in a proper boot cupboard2 and ,i strongly advise the toilet covers to be in art serge1 simply trimmed by a species of edging in crewels composed of about nine stitches1 one long1 one shorter each side of the long stitch1 and one each side shorter still1 like this3 ,this should be carried round the edges of the cover in a lighter shade than the serge itself1 and would cost about #bs4 a cover1 or indeed less1 as serge is double width4 ,there would be no ball fringe to pull off by shutting it heedlessly in a drawer1 and there would be nothing we could not easily replace1 should blacking1 paint1 oil1 or any of the thousand and one messes in which boys seem to revel be spilled upon it4 ,white toilet covers are absolutely useless1 and of course it would be really ridiculous to give them more elaborate covers1 which could only be spoiled4 ,it would not be of much use here to give any special schemes of decoration for boys' rooms1 but ,i may say that the cheaper the wall paper is above the dado the better4 ,boys are continually adding to their stores of pictures and ornaments1 and are as continually shooting at a mark on the wall with anything that comes handy1 and are not above giving the flowers on the paper a nose1 or a mouth from which a pipe proceeds1 or ears which resemble those of a donkey2 and though these decorations may be left a certain time it is best to have such a paper which1 while being pretty1 is one that we can replace without an undue struggle on our part2 and ,i may mention ,haines's capital #g;d4 blue and terra-cotta papers4 ,the blue could have blue paint1 and a blue matting dado1 and a yellow and white ceiling paper2 the terra-cotta might have ivory paint1 a terra-cotta and green cretonne dado1 and curtains of the same cretonne4 ,helbronner has a beauty1 #fjd1 at #as4 #h;d4 a yard1 and the ceiling paper could be ,land's pale green and white #8,watteau' at #cs4 the piece4 ,wallace's dull green #8lily carpet' would make a capital square there1 as would his red lily in the blue room1 where the cretonne could be ,oetzmann's red and blue ,westminster cretonne1 which should be lined1 as should all cretonnes which do duty for blinds as well as curtains2 this all curtains should do1 had ,i my way entirely in the matter4 ,the walls and books and pictures should be the boys' own choice1 and so should be the ornaments on the mantel-piece1 though a clock should be invariably provided1 and this should be one the veracity of which should be unimpeachable--punctuality must be enforced and hours kept1 and no excuses should be allowed on this score4 ,if the youth declares he wishes to make up for his perforce straitened hours of repose at school1 let him go to bed as early as he likes--never interfere with that1 but do not weakly allow him to be late in the morning2 it puts out the whole household1 and for no reason at all1 and should never be countenanced for a moment4 ,late hours in the morning mean more than ,i have space to dilate on here2 but you may be quite sure that a household which is late in the morning is never a well-managed or prosperous one4 ,late hours then denote lazy1 self-indulgent habits1 and therefore should never be allowed4 ,if the boys begin them in the holidays be sure they will be continued after school is left1 and therefore be firm on this point1 although ,i know all too well how difficult it is to be stern and inflexible towards the boys who are only at home for the holidays1 and naturally are in consequence just a wee bit spoiled by their indulgent parents4 ,now if a sitting-room can be given to the boys and the tutor1 ,i advise it being furnished as prettily as may be as regards the walls1 but the floor must not have a carpet1 and room must be found there for the lathe1 carpenter's tools1 and odds and ends so dear to the heart of the boy2 and here let me beg and implore parents to aid and abet their children in any hobby they have1 if they can do so reasonably and comfortably1 and without undue expense2 and let me also beg of them to keep and treat with scrupulous reverence any drawings1 efforts of literary genius1 or of mechanical genius1 which their children produce and present to them2 at the same time ,i do not advise their being exhibited to the world at large1 while ,i should carefully explain to children1 that the thing was kept1 not because of its present intrinsic merits1 nor because it was a distinct effort of genius1 but because it was their doing1 and because we should like to compare it with future efforts1 in order that we may see how they have improved4 ,without going the lengths that #8,misunderstood' does 7a book1 by the way1 which has made more prigs than any other under the sun1 in my belief71 ,i think parents often make their children miserable without in the least meaning to do so1 by reason of the manner in which they refuse to interest themselves in their pursuits4 ,it is not pleasant to partake of sticky black cakes baked in the dolls'-house pans1 to sit on the cold stairs in the dark looking on at a spirited representation of a magic-lantern1 the slides of which we know by heart1 and we may endure agonies over the hundredth representation of the usual charade1 neither may we feel profound interest in the ,school ,magazine2 but at the same time we are bound to think we do1 and we ought to be more than thankful that our children care for these things and go in for them1 rather than for the usual hanging about1 reading those dreadful ,rider ,haggard books1 which have done more harm than anything else1 ,i verily believe1 to the youth of the present day1 and have vitiated their tastes1 until nothing pleases them which is not written in gore and bound up in a mixture of pistols and swords1 which is as odious as it is unnecessary4 ,the boys' books ought to form a very distinct feature in their sitting-room1 and1 if possible1 we should endeavour to keep out all ,haggardish stories4 ,but this is almost impossible in these days of independence and fourpence-halfpenny literature4 ,i know ,i can't1 and glorious detective stories and other works of art are to be found all over the house2 but we must do our best to improve the standard1 by placing other better books in the authorised bookcases1 and by ridiculing and1 if necessary1 confiscating whenever we can all we so highly disapprove of4 ,at the same time ,i honestly confess this is mere advice3 ,i cannot stem the torrent myself1 but hope there are other more strong-minded parents than ,i am1 who may be able to do so1 though ,i have done my best in the matter1 and have tried everything ,i can think of to eliminate these books1 for which ,i have the most hearty contempt and dislike4 ,it would be no use1 ,i think1 to say more about the arrangement of the room which should be set apart for the boys2 but ,i cannot say too much about the necessity of the dear things having a place where they can do absolutely what they like1 for half the friction which seems to me inevitable in other people's households1 when the boys are at home1 is undoubtedly caused by the fact that the boys are in the way1 and have no place that they can call their own4 ,under these circumstances they worry their sisters1 spoil the furniture1 and upset the servants2 and more especially does this happen in ,london1 where there is nowhere for them to disport themselves1 and nothing that they can do except promenade the streets and go to theatres and such-like places of amusement4 ,of course1 little boys can be managed well4 ,they have their nurseries first1 and then their governess and schoolrooms4 ,it is when they begin to go to school that the trouble begins4 ,the governess does not care about them preparing their lessons in her room2 and if they are day boarders1 which they certainly ought to be until they are twelve or thirteen1 and1 indeed1 until they go into the big school1 where they should be when they are fourteen and not a day before1 the lessons must be prepared at home1 and this work should doubtless go on under the superintendence of someone in authority4 ,parents often can and do help immensely1 but there are very few men who do not find their classics decidedly rusty by the time they are required to superintend their children's preparation2 besides which they are1 as a rule1 tired with their own day's work1 and are not in the least inclined for extra labour1 and often do not possess the necessary stock of patience required for this kind of employment4 ,my ideal education would consist of sending the boys to a good school in the daytime1 and in taking care that they prepare their work in the evening1 under a good tutor1 who would be trusted to simply superintend them1 and to give the necessary help1 but who would not do the work for them2 he would not live in the house1 but would simply come for the couple of hours during which the boys would work4 ,this would do away with the great objection to home education1 which is undoubtedly the work which has to be done at home1 and which cannot be properly superintended unless someone is told off for the purpose1 unless the parents are well up in the work of the day1 and are furthermore prepared to give up almost all society for the sake of looking after the boys--a thing which should never be done1 for it is most important that we should make and keep friends2 if we don't care for them for ourselves1 we must care for them for the sake of the children1 who would find themselves shut out of everything when they grew up did their parents withdraw themselves entirely from society when they were yet small4 ,of course a great many people cannot manage to live where there are really good schools1 but equally of course a great many can1 and when this can be managed it undoubtedly ought to be2 and places like ,bedford1 where the schools are excellent1 and ,wimborne1 where the ,grammar ,school has improved mightily of late years1 and where house rent is moderately cheap and living very inexpensive1 offer especial advantages to a widow left with two or three sons to educate1 and to military men and others who can live where they like1 and have only their boys' education to think about1 ,bedford being especially good for this purpose4 ,i believe there is a book published which gives all necessary particulars about all these schools1 and indeed about all the schools all over ,england1 but ,i shall only mention those of which ,i have personal knowledge1 as ,i am no believer in second-hand information3 this can always be procured for special cases1 and would be out of place in a book like mine1 but ,i do strongly advise all who can--all who have no settled occupation that binds them down to a special locality--to live where they can have their children educated from the home roof4 ,i am quite certain that this is the ideal and proper education1 and results in a better class of man all round4 ,they may not be as polished1 their manners may not be as perfect1 and they may be shy and gruff1 but their morals will be ever so much better1 and they will be better men in the highest sense of the word4 ,for though they may #8marry the lady's maid1' like the youth in #8,punch1' at all events they will marry her2 they will not degrade and then desert her1 as alas6 so many men do nowadays4 ,but ,i myself don't believe they would do anything of the kind2 by far and away the best men ,i know are those who have been least away from home1 and they are not among the unsuccessful ones of this life either4 ,however1 it is sometimes impossible for parents to manage home education1 though in ,london there are so many opportunities1 that it must be more a case of must than can't1 for there are ,westminster1 ,st4 ,paul's1 and the ,university ,college ,schools1 all of which can be managed after the boys are old enough to be trusted in the streets alone1 and at the latter of which for the absurdly low fee of #hl4 #hs4 a quarter can be had the best education in the world1 but where the boys need learn very little if they can scrape through the day's routine without finding themselves in either the #8black' or the #8appearing' books2 but even then they do not learn as little as they can if they try at either ,eton or ,harrow1 where it seems to me the education given is especially useless for practical service1 and can never by any chance fit the recipient for any real work that he may have to undertake4 ,the perfect education should be that which most fits a man for his work1 and no one can watch the manner in which we are being ousted by ,germans from every place without allowing that their education has something which ours lacks1 and that unless our boys can be taught to emulate their patience1 perseverance1 and eager quest after knowledge1 to say nothing of their capabilities of existing on a pittance1 we shall wake up some day to find our lads quite out of the running1 because they do not understand life properly1 and because they are unable to fight for themselves against the present overwhelming ,german invasion4 ,there is a limpness1 a passiveness about the boys of the present day that is something dreadful1 and that ,i think springs in some measure from these fatal examinations1 and the fearsome higher education4 ,they see the prizes can only fall to the exceptionally gifted and hard-working members of the fraternity1 and therefore they are dispirited before they start1 knowing that1 try as they may1 they can never succeed4 ,far from stimulating most youths to work1 the sense that unless they are geniuses they cannot pass the exams cripples them1 and they cease to care to try for what they know they cannot possibly obtain1 read how they may2 and therefore ,i cannot but think the excessively high standard that must be reached nowadays in everything is a mistake1 and that serious consideration should be given both to this and to the fact that our boys are not able to compete with the ,germans because something in our scheme of education and learning does not permit them to do so successfully4 ,let us then give home education a chance and see what can come of that1 and let our nurses be ,french and ,german1 so that the children may learn these languages with their earliest breath2 and1 moreover1 let us in some measure educate our children for what they are going to be4 ,it is no manner of use to give those who are to be in trade the same teaching as that required for the learned professions2 and ,i venture to state that if a man has to take to trade the sooner he does it the better4 ,eighteen ought to see him in harness of a light kind1 but harness all the same2 and ,i furthermore state boldly that it is absolutely waste of time and money and everything else to send boys abroad to school4 ,they never do any good there1 and they may get into most frightful mischief4 ,if boys must be sent to ,france or ,germany1 take them yourselves1 otherwise you may be quite sure that both time and money are wasted4 ,i am not speaking without book1 and ,i have never heard of one school1 either in ,france or ,germany1 where the education was of the least use1 neither will it be until more schools follow the example of ,clifton1 and form settlements abroad on the lines of our public schools2 though even then ,i am inclined to adhere to my own opinion and urge on parents1 whose sons require to know ,french and ,german thoroughly1 to go to both places themselves1 and stay a couple of years in each in some good town4 ,if they do they will achieve their object1 and their boys will command far higher prices in the labour market than those can who do not know any languages except their own1 and a certain amount of ,latin and ,greek1 which1 it seems to me1 they learn only to forget as soon as ever they can manage to do so4 ,but if parents will not hear of home education they must most carefully select the preparatory school1 and they must manage to afford in addition a first-rate public school1 for nothing can possibly be worse than a cheap or inferior place of education2 and it is an astonishing fact to me that in such an important matter as is education one requires as a rule so little guarantee that we actually receive what we are paying for4 ,no one can be a lawyer or doctor without credentials2 anyone who likes can open a school1 and command scholars too4 ,why should not the ,state interfere here8--it is very fond of interfering dreadfully on far less important matters--and say boldly that no one shall have a school at all until he has qualified himself in the eye of the ,state1 and is diplomaed or hall-marked in such a manner that one can tell at once whether he is fitted for the work or not8 ,until this is done ,i much fear that preparatory schools will not improve to any great extent1 and that the middle classes will continue to send their children to people who are utterly unfit for the work they have undertaken4 ,a personal reference from some parent1 often enough from one who knows little indeed about his children1 and possibly a few letters after the name1 are considered quite sufficient guarantee by most people that they are obtaining all that they are paying for4 ,a good preparatory school costs from #hel4 to about #abel4 a year2 of course less can be paid1 and ,i dare say more can be paid also1 but ,i consider an excellent school can be had for #ajjl4 a year4 ,of course there are always extras beside1 and these depend entirely on the means of the parents1 and in some measure on the schoolmaster himself1 who should undoubtedly be a man in whom we can trust1 and to whom we can give our confidence1 telling him exactly what we can afford to spend1 and also what manner of child our special boy is1 and also1 most important of all1 what he is to be1 and what particular talents1 weaknesses1 or goodnesses he may be likely to inherit4 ,we should also give our child our confidence4 ,we should tell him emphatically what we can afford for him1 what we wish him to do1 and finally encourage him in every way to get on by writing to or seeing him constantly1 and by never letting him imagine for one moment that #8out of sight means out of mind2' he is more in our minds1 just because he is absent from us1 than he would be were he constantly in our presence4 ,as regards public schools1 ,harrow costs roughly about #bjjl4 a year1 and the first term's bills are as follows3 s4 d4 ,board and washing #cj #j #j ,public tuition and school charges #aa #aa #j ,entrance to school and house #af #j #j ,private tuition #e #j #j ------------ #fb #aa #j ,of course the #afl4 entrance fees do not come in again1 but this is more than spent on extras4 ,there are subscriptions to endless things and payments for extra tuition1 for which a long list of printed names on the first account in some measure prepares the unhappy parent1 who somehow never is prepared1 for the extraordinary amount of new clothes1 mending1 hair-cutting1 and other trifles1 which go to sum up the accounts in the ensuing terms4 ,eton seems to me to cost about #bjl4 a year more1 and the bills of one term are as follows3 s4 d4 ,board and tuition #dd #j #j ,washing #b #j #g ,head master1 school instruction1 c4 #h #h #j ------------ #ed #h #g ,this is without entrance fee1 and the extras seem to me to be rather more frequent1 while ,rugby is considerably less than either1 the bills there being as under3 s4 d4 ,tuition #ac #f #h ,boarding #bd #j #j ,school stationery 7this varies7 #a #aj #j ,medical officer #j #aj #f ------------ #ci #g #b ,both at ,eton and ,rugby the allowance given by the house master is #as4 a week1 at ,harrow #bs41 but besides this of course the boys take money to school4 ,the smaller boys at ,harrow should not have more than #cl4 during the term1 and out of this they must pay sundry subscriptions4 ,at ,eton ,i think the pocket-money can be almost anything1 while at ,rugby #cl4 does until the boy gets into the ,sixth1 when he should have more money1 and when the books1 a heavy item in most school bills1 are far more expensive than they were in the lower forms4 ,individually ,i know most of ,harrow1 as ,i said before2 but1 as these bills have been copied from actual accounts rendered to friends of my own1 ,i think ,i am justified in printing them1 and they will also serve as a guide to those parents who are hesitating where to put down their boys' names1 a ceremony which should take place when the boys are about six or seven2 and if the parents have no #8traditions1' and are not wedded to any special school by reason of the father having been there before1 or relations on either side having been in the special school1 the school should be chosen in some measure to suit the boy's health1 and also in some measure his future occupation4 ,i should not send a lad who was going to work in any shape or form to ,eton4 ,that school should be reserved for those useless individuals1 who toil not neither do they spin1 nor should ,i send a boy to ,harrow who intended to go in for trade or anything save one of the learned professions4 ,those who have a big business to go into might be sent to ,rugby or ,clifton1 but ,i should prefer to let them attend ,st4 ,paul's or the ,london ,university ,school1 or else send them to ,bedford or a similar establishment4 ,when the boys are at school1 the holidays should be in some measure legislated for and all arrangements made for the boys' welfare2 and of course no parent who cared for his or her children would possibly be away from home or out of reach of the boys during that time3 the parents' holidays1 which are as important in some measure as the children's1 should come off when school has begun again1 but on no account should they occur when the boys are at home2 and if possible the summer holidays should be spent by the sea1 the beloved sea1 which1 as fashion changes1 is1 ,i am sorry to say1 becoming unpopular1 and is left alone by those who are fashion led1 and in consequence impelled towards the country or #8foreign parts4' ,but of the holidays more anon2 ,i have not yet quite done with the boys1 and the holidays can have a chapter to themselves later on4 ,i think the most important hint of all which ,i have to give is that on no account should a boy leave school or college until we have something to put him into1 and which shall occupy his time4 ,there is nothing more fatal than idleness1 and it should never be countenanced in any shape or form1 and ,i do hope some day to find that all boys who have to earn their living may be given some sort of a trade--something they can do with their fingers1 outside and above any profession they may be going in for4 ,given a trade they can never starve1 and would be far more fit for the colonies1 where so many lads flit1 looking forward to more freedom and more outdoor life than they can possibly have here in ,england1 though ,i cannot imagine a more foolish thing than to allow a youth to go out #8on spec2' unless he has something to go out to1 he had far better remain where he is2 if not he will soon degenerate into something far less like a gentleman than he would have been had he remained at home and taken to some good and honest trade4 ,i cannot help thinking that these #8decorative' days of ours will open up the furniture business to gentlemen1 and that soon our houses will be provided for entirely by men who are artists1 and that those who cannot originate1 yet have artistic tastes and an eye for colour1 will not despise work which is far more interesting than desk-work for example1 and far more remunerative than the position of clerk1 with which so many lads of the present day have to satisfy themselves4 ,the gentlemen of ,england can bring back trade to ,england if they choose1 they can replace the slovenly workman and the shoddy work1 and it remains to be proved if they will do so2 at present people's eyes are open1 and trade is no longer a badge of disgrace1 so ,i hope some day to see industrial villages turning out good work1 where at present are empty labourers' cottages and impecunious landlords with untilled farms2 and in the meantime ,i beg our boys not to remain idle but to work somehow1 it does not matter much at what1 but at some work that will be good and must and will find a market4 ,if a lad is going into one of the learned professions it is necessary that he go to college1 where the expenses all told cannot be less than #cjjl4 a year1 but before he does so his father should seriously tell him that whatever allowance he has is the extent of what he can give him1 and that under no circumstances whatever will he be responsible for any debts of any sort or kind1 and that doing what he is for him he is doing his utmost1 and that he would rather see him go through the ,bankruptcy ,court than impoverish his sisters or his other brothers to pay his extravagant liabilities4 ,let this be well talked over at home in private1 and ,i do not think the lad will place himself in the miserable and anxious position of many a young man who ladens himself with debt during his college life1 which cripples all the best of his existence and embitters his days in more ways than one2 but the boy must have parents on whom he can rely1 and he must know that they mean absolutely what they say4 ,there can be nothing more unfair than for the girls to be starved mentally and morally1 and the younger lads badly educated1 because a parent has to pay debts which ought never to have been contracted4 ,gambling debts should be utterly ignored by the parents1 and gambling in every shape and form should be absolutely forbidden1 the reasons thereof being plainly stated2 and ,i think all parents should be more open about their circumstances than they are to their children1 who often get a most erroneous impression about their people's income1 because of the manner in which they live4 ,why6 because they have a carriage and a big house is the very reason why they can do no more1 and why should the parents give up all they have justly earned because their children are extravagant8 ,i see no reason myself1 and ,i myself would certainly never do so to pay extravagant liabilities1 or liabilities incurred on the gaming-table or on the racecourse4 ,give the boys a good education and a start in life1 and provide the girls with #aejl4 a year1 either when they marry or at your own death1 and you have done your duty by your children4 ,the girls cannot starve on that income1 and neither would they be the prey of any fortune-hunter2 but no one has a right to bring children into the world in the ranks of the upper middle-class and do less2 misery will come of it if he does1 be quite sure of that4 ,of course misfortunes may happen1 and the parents' early death may prevent an actually safe future being secured for the children2 but1 as a rule1 an early death should be provided for by insurance1 and misfortunes1 if undeserved1 generally bring sympathy in their train1 and there are many mitigations1 even for these1 if parents are judicious and have not flooded the world with an enormous family that they can have no prospect whatever of providing for4 ,as soon as the boys have finished their education let them begin to work2 a lawyer can begin2 a doctor can commence at once to wait for patients even if he cannot buy a practice1 which would be the best thing to do2 a curacy can be procured for a cleric1 and if trades are chosen the sooner those trades are entered into the better2 but whatever is selected never allow idleness of any shape or form4 ,idleness is the parent of all mischief4 ,a man well and healthily employed has neither time nor inclination to go very far wrong4 ,let the boys be encouraged to have tastes1 and above all let every lad in ,england join some ,volunteer ,corps4 ,i consider it a duty for every man to be able1 and to show himself willing1 to protect his home1 and if he is encouraged at home he will volunteer1 and will take an interest in his work1 which will be invaluable to him4 ,the expeditions are pleasant2 all lads love a gun1 and adore being able to shoot1 and if the taste is acquired in the school cadet corps it will continue afterwards2 and remember that all out-door sports and occupations are so many safeguards--tennis1 bicycling1 volunteering1 shooting1 hunting1 riding1 are all so many protections against temptations1 to which all lads are exposed1 and on which of course it is impossible for me to speak here4 ,to sum up the advice ,i would give about our boys1 ,i would say that love of home1 love of sport 7not racing1 not battue1 nor pigeon-shooting1 nor similar inanities1 but bon fide sport71 and love of an out-door life1 are the great protection for the lads4 ,do not encourage theatre-going and endless balls and society affectations1 but do encourage in every way you can those things of which ,i have been writing4 ,i am sure then we shall have a healthier and a better race than the #8masher' ,gaiety bar-lounger1 for whom ,i have such a profound contempt1 or than the race-frequenting1 betting1 #8lemon-squash' consuming1 nerveless1 brainless idiot that is so extremely prevalent in the present day4 ,as soon as a lad is eighteen he ought to have some definite allowance for all his small expenses and to enable him to clothe himself1 and this must depend entirely on his parents' circumstances1 and where he is and what he is doing4 ,of course1 if he should be placed in his father's business he must be paid for his services1 and this pay must cover all he spends2 but as a rule #ejl4 is ample4 ,a man can dress well and decently on #cjl41 the other #bjl4 he can do what he likes with2 and he should be encouraged to save for a holiday in #8foreign parts4' ,he had far better travel about than smoke his senses away1 or waste his money in going to theatres and in-door amusements of any kind4 ,boys are an endless anxiety1 there is no doubt about that1 and it is greatly1 no doubt1 owing to that fact that the system of sending the boys away to school has arisen2 but although they are at school we cannot get rid of our responsibilities1 neither should we try to do so4 ,we are responsible for their existence1 and we are bound to do the best we can for them4 ,we shall1 ,i am sure1 be rewarded for all they have cost us1 if we never relax our care until they are really grown up and are capable of managing their own lives2 then1 if we have trained them to love their home and to habits of work and occupation1 we can do no more but trust in ,providence2 we shall have our reward sooner or later1 of that ,i have not the smallest doubt4 ,as soon as a man can keep a wife he should marry and begin to make a home for himself4 ,i am a great believer in early marriage1 and ,i should like all my boys to marry as soon as ever they can4 ,there is nothing teaches a man as the responsibility of marriage does1 and nothing on earth is happier than a happy marriage4 ,it is the complement of life1 the perfect whole that all should strive to attain2 about that subject ,i am quite sure1 and none of the stock arguments against marriage1 nor the stock jeers1 will ever alter my opinion4 ,of course there are troubles1 if so they are borne better together2 pleasures come1 they are brightened by having someone to share them2 and above all1 marriage makes the home2 the home gives an object in life and steadies at once1 therefore marriage should be encouraged in every way it can1 and those who are married should help on the marriage of others1 and should show by their own conduct and bearing that it is the best state on earth1 if undertaken out of pure love1 not silly passion1 and maintained in the mutual respect1 affection1 and toleration for each other's faults1 which are the very bonds of the home1 and which last when every slighter bond has given and fallen away4 ,once our boys are married we can breathe again1 at all events our active work for them is over2 and the less we interfere with them after that happy event the better chance will they have of making a success of their lives4 ,all we have to do is to win the love and confidence of their wives1 and that is not difficult if we never offer advice on any subject1 and give them as much affection as we can4 ,above all must we resist the dear delight of talking over their mnage with other people4 #8,a still tongue means a wise head1' says the proverb1 and a tongue cannot possibly be too still1 when once there are sons and daughters-in-law in the family4 ,,chapter ,x4 ,,some ,,domestic ,,details4 ,i think that ,i am more often consulted about how to manage servants1 and how to apportion an income1 than on any other detail of domestic management1 and therefore ,i am of opinion that a few more words on these subjects may not be out of place here1 although1 as ,i have repeatedly stated elsewhere1 no real help can be given by a stranger on either matter1 and that only a species of general rule can be laid down1 either about the management of the maids or how to set apart and divide the income we may have to spend4 ,to begin with the income3 ,i have had two scales drawn up by an accountant1 and now present them here for what they are worth4 ,the first is the very smallest income that any two people should marry upon1 in my opinion2 although ,i know many folks1 especially among the ranks of the clerics1 who ought to know much better1 who continually do so1 and as continually have numerous families1 for which they cannot provide in the least1 and for which they beg in the most shameless manner1 and for whom ,i have neither sympathy nor patience4 ,as a rule these unfortunates live in the country and have big gardens and houses found them rent free1 but ,i have nothing to say to them here1 and1 as ,i cannot conceive how ladies and gentlemen can bring up1 clothe1 and feed their children1 and manage their household respectably on less than #hjjl4 a year1 ,i have no ideas on the subject1 and therefore cannot write on what ,i know nothing about4 ,let us therefore take the ordinary young lawyer or young man who is #8something in the ,city1' that unknown ,city1 the occupations of which are so mysterious in my eyes1 and let us suppose he has #ejjl4 to spend every year1 increasing1 let us hope1 should he indulge in the luxury of a family2 a luxury he has no more right to go in for on a tiny income than he would have to set up a carriage and pair1 without being able to pay all the concomitant expenses2 and this is how he should parcel out his expenditure3 s4d4 ,house-rent in ,london #hj #j #j ,rates and taxes #bj #j #j ,repairs to house and furniture #cj #j #j ,two servants' wages and keep #ij #j #j ,keep of self and wife1 at least #ge #j #j ,clothes for wife and pocket-money #ej #j #j ,clothes for husband1 including his daily luncheon and ,city journey #gj #j #j ,coals #f #j #j ,life insurance #bg #j #j ,summer outing #ab #aj #j ,washing #af #j #j ----------- #dgf #aj #j ,leaving3 the magnificent sum of #bdl4 #ajs4 to cover doctors' bills and the thousand and one incidental expenses which are always cropping up1 to say nothing of amusement4 ,one could hardly rise to the upper boxes on #ejjl4 a year if one must live in town and have appearances to keep up as well4 ,it is better at first1 if the income is very small1 to live in the suburbs4 ,there are not so many temptations to spend money1 and there would not be much going out4 ,in ,london of course1 the going out is endless2 there must be cabs1 new gloves1 flowers1 and the hundred and one extras that carry off one's money1 and two servants are a sine qu non4 ,if the suburbs are selected1 cabs and evening gloves1 c41 need not be legislated for2 one servant could do the work2 and the house-rent and taxes would come to #ejl4 instead of #ajjl42 but there would be the husband's season-ticket to consider1 and furthermore the intense dulness that is the wife's portion1 for suburban residents are not hospitable2 they are1 most of them1 not very well off1 for of course all rich people fly to ,london2 they are mutually suspicious of each other's bona fides1 and are1 moreover1 engrossed as a rule in their domestic duties1 and when the husband returns from town he is not only tired with his work1 but with the added railway journey2 he usually hankers after his garden in the summer and his arm-chair by the fire in the winter1 and does not care to go out1 more especially as he judges from his own feelings in the matter1 and is quite sure his host wishes him at home in bed quite as much as he wishes himself there4 ,but1 again1 here ,i must show how impossible it is for another person to really advise a friend on this subject of division of income satisfactorily4 ,there are plenty of suburban residents who are absolutely satisfied with their fate1 and are equal to the misfortune of a small income4 ,in that case ,i have told them precisely how they can manage best on the sum of #ejjl4 a year4 ,i can assure them they will have to be most economical and excellent managers to do that2 and they can furthermore understand that it costs about #ejl4 a year to add a child to the establishment1 and that #del4 a year is supposed to keep and pay a servant4 ,these two details will be of assistance1 maybe1 when the income increases and the owners thereof contemplate a little launching out4 ,an income of #a1jjjl4 a year should be apportioned as follows3 s4 d4 ,house #ajj #j #j ,rates and taxes #cc #j #j ,repairs1 renewals1 c4 #ej #j #j ,two servants 7rather better wages allowed7 #ajj #j #j ,keep of self and wife #ajj #j #j ,wine1 c4 #ab #aj #j ,clothes and pocket-money for wife #ge #j #j ,clothes for husband #ajj #j #j ,coals #aj #j #j ,insurance #ej #j #j ,summer outing #cj #j #j ,washing #bf #j #j ,balance for incidentals #cac #aj #j --------------- #a1jjj #j #j ,and this larger balance would be drawn1 upon for the extra expenses1 such as entertaining and amusements1 charities1 and the thousand and one pleasant ways of spending money that are open to the possessor of the larger income1 and are rigorously out of the reach of the owner of #ejjl4 a year4 ,then1 too1 there are all sorts and conditions of things to consider before laying down a law on the subject of apportioning the income2 such for example as the consideration if the income dies with the husband1 or if it may come from capital safely invested4 ,in the former case the insurance ought to be very largely increased1 as that is the only absolutely safe manner of saving one's money4 ,as a rule it costs about #bgl4 a year to insure the receipt of #a1jjjl4 at death if the insurer is a young man1 and ,i ask all intending bridegrooms to consider what this would mean if this be all the provision they can make for their brides1 supposing they were to die and leave them with two or three little children and no other means4 ,they could not live on #djl4 a year1 which is about all they would receive1 and ,i therefore do trust all young men will seriously consider the matter before rushing into matrimony4 ,at present a great many folk are like the ostrich1 they bury their heads in the sands of present content and never consider the evil days that are before them4 ,if they remain two1 no one can blame them1 but ,i do blame unendingly the selfish creatures who burden this overcrowded world with more genteel paupers4 ,if people on small incomes insist on doing this1 let them have the courage to bring up their daughters as upper servants and their boys to good honest trades2 it is the genteel pauper1 the girl who can paint a little1 teach a little1 and embroider a little1 and the boy who1 come what may1 must wear a black coat or its equivalent in light tweeds1 who have no right to be made to exist1 and for whom the world has absolutely nothing to offer save a certain amount of snubs and a very large quantity of the unappetising dish known as the cold shoulder4 ,therefore1 if the income dies with the husband and there are children1 a certain amount of money must be put aside annually for insurance2 it ought to be enough to bring in #ajjl4 a year to insure the wife from starvation when she is too old1 too worn with all she has had to do to attempt to keep herself2 and there should also be no false pride about the manner in which the children are educated2 they should go to ,board schools1 where the teaching is excellent and far better than one can procure at ordinary small schools1 which may be much more #8genteel' but will not be half as useful2 for the ,board schools are far and away better than anything that could be obtained from the wretchedly underpaid teachers who would be the girls' portion4 ,the necessary companionship with wretchedly poor and dirty children1 which is the great drawback to a ,board school education1 could be mitigated if all those who are really worthy of the ,board school education were to share it2 and surely a good mother could tell her boys exactly what to avoid1 and the lads could come straight home and simply be taught in the school4 ,the girls would not need so much looking after1 for they are far more conservative naturally than boys3 boys will play with and talk to anyone2 a girl very soon discriminates for herself1 and will not play with another if she suspects her to be in the very smallest degree below her in the social scale4 ,it will be observed that ,i do not in the least take a sentimental view of life1 for ,i feel that when one contemplates the terrible army of martyrs1 the girls who have been #8genteelly' brought up and are #8genteelly' starving or living on their most unwilling and hard-working relations1 one cannot say too much or write too much on this subject1 and ,i cannot also but think that when there is the cry in the land that there undoubtedly is for more servants1 more good and trustworthy lassies to help us with our domestic duties1 and that when ladies in ,australia are so pressed by their troubles and by the fact that they cannot get #8help' for love or money that they are actually driven to write to their papers to suggest that men may marry more wives than one1 because no one but a wife is found to do house work1 and that one wife is not sufficient for the purpose1 it is quite time that the surplus maidens should consider whether it is quite as impossible to become a servant as it appears to be now4 ,as decorators1 governesses1 and spoilers of canvas1 they are undoubtedly not wanted1 but they are required badly for simple domestic work1 which is1 none of it1 half as hard as unlimited tennis1 dancing all night1 or rowing3 not any of it half as unpleasant as is living on the begrudged charity of some relation1 who wants all his hard-earned savings for his own children1 or as degrading as is marrying the first man who asks them1 and who can give them some sort of a home1 for whom they have not the smallest respect--the very smallest amount of affection4 ,now1 of course there are disagreeable details about house work1 and scrubbing cannot be pleasant1 but surely the #8scrubber' could come in daily and do up the worst of the #8chores1' as the ,yankees say2 and what is the rest8 ,waiting at table1 not half as unpleasant as selling at fancy fairs2 opening and answering the door1 not half as hateful as bringing one's wretched little painted match-boxes and tambourines to an overstocked guild1 or a most unsympathising and equally overstocked shopman1 who is often far more impertinent than any caller ever could be to the lowest maid in the establishment2 and ,i personally should prefer to make beds1 wash china1 dust rooms1 and clean silver to hanging about listlessly in a shabby frock1 knowing quite well that ,i could never have another unless some reluctant relation gave me one she would much rather have given to her own children2 and ,i cannot recollect any duties which would be expected from the girls which ,i have not enumerated above1 or that they could not honestly undertake in a sheltered home and under proper matronly care4 ,and if all servants were ladies--and ,i see no reason why every servant should not be a lady if she tries--think how much more our houses would be our own than they are at present6 ,even with the best of maids there are always places in it and corners where we feel we cannot go exactly when and where we like1 and where1 try as we will1 we cannot be absolutely sure that thorough cleanliness prevails and where1 moreover1 we cannot be #8decorative' because all our efforts are frustrated by those who cannot shake off their early training and can no more refrain from smashing china and scraping paper off the walls than they can learn to trust us implicitly and in their turn allow us to trust them4 ,remember1 ,i personally never can nor will join in the fearful outcry against the maids which ,i hear on all sides of me4 ,i have related my own experiences in ,vol4 ,i4 of this book1 #8,from ,kitchen to ,garret' and ,i have not one word to add or take from what ,i have said there4 ,i still maintain1 if you take your servants young and train them yourself1 and if you don't expect perfection and show that you mean to be obeyed1 you will have no trouble2 but you will never have perfect service until you can have ladies in your house1 whose ladyhood will ensure the perfect trustworthiness1 the honesty1 the cleanliness that no cottage-bred girl can ever give1 because she can never be taught to really comprehend the necessity of all these particulars4 ,mrs4 ,crawshay's scheme of lady helps has1 ,i believe1 quite collapsed2 at all events1 one hears nothing about it now2 but ,i see no reason why an earnest effort should not be made to try sending our superfluous girls to ,australia as lady helps1 and then1 if that succeeds1 trying them in ,england1 where there seems to me to be a real and crying want of good domestic servants4 ,i am only judging from other people's woes2 for1 although ,i dare say ,i have mine before me1 ,i have not experienced them yet1 and have always been able to find what ,i wanted without any undue exertion on my part4 ,of course the house would have to be reorganised to some extent4 ,the bedrooms would have to be as fresh and pretty as one could make them2 and1 above all1 we must reform our kitchens1 which are at present the most unhealthy1 disagreeable1 and odious rooms in the whole house1 as they are undoubtedly the ugliest1 and where1 in ordinary households1 the unfortunate maids have winter and summer to sit while the cooking is done1 and in heat that ,i wonder allows them to live at all1 and that must exasperate their tempers as much as it must try their constitutions4 ,now let us consider the ideal house and the ideal kitchen1 and ,i cannot see myself why both should not exist2 let us build our washing-stands so that hot and cold water are able to be turned into the basin which can overtip and empty itself2 smaller conveniences could be managed in the same manner1 and all the housemaid would have to do would be to wipe out the basins daily1 to sweep up the pieces with the #8,ewbank' carpet-sweeper1 which makes no dust and picks up every morsel off the floor1 to make the beds and dust1 the very making of the beds being simplified by the chain and hair mattresses now general4 ,all that has to be done is to turn the mattress daily1 to spread the under blanket and sheet absolutely smoothly over it and tuck them in1 to replace the bolster and pillows1 and the over supply of blankets1 c41 carefully straightened and tucked in4 ,is that harder than tennis1 more menial1 forsooth1 than living on one's relations1 or husband-hunting genteelly under the greatest of all difficulties1 the difficulty of looking nice and merry1 and being good-tempered1 on absolutely no means at all8 ,now let us take the ideal kitchen1 the kitchen as made and designed by ,mr4 ,g4 ,faulkner ,armitage1 of ,stamford ,house1 ,altrincham1 ,cheshire1 who has most kindly drawn for me the different pieces of furniture with which he decorates this charming room of his1 and which1 in the ,manchester ,exhibition1 were stained green and decorated with brass hinges and locks1 and see how we could adapt this to our present style of house1 the house with the tiny kitchen1 the smaller laundry1 pantry1 and scullery1 and where there is not an atom of sitting-room apart from where all the work is going forward4 ,in that case is it worth while to make a pretty room1 and if we do can it be possibly kept so8 ,i think it can1 even with our present maids1 whose taste for the beautiful is not largely developed2 it most certainly could if we are given the maid of the future1 the real lady-maid1 who may come forward to the rescue of those unhappy beings who at present haunt the precincts of registry offices and spend small fortunes on advertisements which can have only the most barren results4 ,but before ,i go on to speak of the ideal kitchen and the cook of the future2 who will hardly concern my readers1 as she is not born at present1 or if she be is certainly not ready for engagement1 ,i should like to say a few words about the best manner to obtain servants1 repeating continually that if we require good ones we must take them ourselves and train them ourselves4 ,i am always met1 when ,i state this fact1 by the unanswerable argument1 #8,i have neither time nor patience to teach my servants2 ,i can pay good wages4 ,i want to engage skilled labour4' ,skilled labour may be had for money1 there is no doubt1 but the person who engages her maids on these lines will never have good or affectionate servants4 ,she will be waited on1 dressed1 cooked for admirably1 no doubt1 but she will obtain nothing beyond her mere bargain4 ,for better wages1 a more aristocratic place1 her cook will leave her in the lurch1 despite the fact that she may expect to be laid up or to have most particular and important visitors at the very period when the old maid departs and the new one comes in4 ,her nurse will extract her pound of flesh in the shape of holidays and outings1 whether the baby is teething or not1 or whether the children are all miserable with colds1 or she herself long to lie down with a bad headache4 ,the housemaid will go to her #8church or chapel1' to her promenade with her ever-changing young man1 whether she has unexpected guests or not2 and she will never know the extreme bliss and comfort of possessing friends in the kitchen1 who give up their own holidays because they are sure their mistress is not fit to be left1 who regard the children as if they were as much theirs as they are the mistress's1 and who finally think of her and hers1 and her comfort1 as she does herself4 ,no mere hired help will do all this4 ,you must have maidens whom you have carefully trained2 you must take trouble--aye1 and never-ending trouble--about them1 unless you wish to join the ranks of those who are always abusing their maids and yet would not lift their fingers to assist themselves4 ,and then1 again1 you must undoubtedly train yourself at the same time not to expect perfection4 ,think of our own girls4 ,are they always to be trusted at tennis and at balls to maintain that serene and demure deportment which of course we always did1 and which we naturally expect from our daughters1 especially where young men are concerned8 ,do they never flirt8 ,are they never found missing at critical moments1 for example1 when the carriage is at the door1 and ,paterfamilias is divided between anxiety for his horses and wrath at being kept waiting8 ,do foolish little notes never pass8 ,are flowers never given to the most detrimental youths of one's acquaintance8 ,and finally1 do our own daughters always keep men at arm's length8 ,are they always truthful1 always obliging1 always careful about their own rooms and the things which are committed to their charge8 ,i leave each mother to answer for her own daughters4 ,i should not like to answer for all the girls ,i know1 and ,i seem to remember episodes in my own past 7was it mine1 or did it belong to some one ,i once knew very well indeed1 ,i wonder87 which ,i should rather not confide to my daughter1 and indeed which ,i should not care to hold up to her as an example of what all girls should do1 and which often make me very kind to the maids when ,i meet them promenading with the youth who calls for orders or the man whom ,i scarcely recognise out of his livery2 and it is far better to know such things will happen1 and to keep a kindly eye over these affairs1 than to scold vigorously and declare that whatever happens no followers of any sort or kind shall enter your chaste abode4 ,neither should they until the engagement is a bon-fide one1 and one that you know is allowed and smiled upon by the girl's parents4 ,this you should ascertain for yourself--another reason for taking your maids young and from a family of whose antecedents you know something from your own observation4 ,and ,i never think much harm can happen from these promenades if great stress is laid upon the fact that all must be at home after dark1 and that in winter no one must stay out after #h4cj4 ,then the house door should be locked and the key brought upstairs1 either in town or country2 there is always the front door to come to1 and there is no reason why everyone should not come to that4 ,i am no advocate either of very hard and fast rules1 and ,i maintain that it is very difficult to make1 and still more difficult to keep1 set regulations which circumstances may alter at any given moment4 ,the only thing that must be insisted on is punctuality2 without punctuality no household can go on1 no establishment can be in the very least degree managed or carried on4 ,the servants become slovenly2 and it is impossible to get through the work1 because no one knows when the meals are to be1 or when the beds can be made4 ,therefore1 the first rule1 and indeed the only really important rule1 is that which makes the meals regular1 and the attendance thereat compulsory on all members of the family1 children and temporary members1 such as visitors1 alike4 ,after that1 and when we have demonstrated how the work is to be done1 we should stand aside and not interfere unless it is absolutely necessary2 then a few quiet words are enough4 ,whatever you do1 do not #8nag2' a servant that requires acrimonious scolding and continual #8telling' had better go1 and another should be had at once4 ,the best way to find a servant 7if your #8place' has a good name7 is to inquire among the tradesmen4 ,if a good servant is leaving her place1 she always tells the butcher and baker2 she never goes to a registry office4 ,if she is leaving to better herself1 her mistress can soon find her a place among her own friends2 there would be no need for her to go elsewhere1 and ,i do not think a really first-rate maid ever goes anywhere except to her mistress or to the tradespeople1 who are all delighted to help her to find what she wants4 ,an advertisement in the #8,guardian' or #8,morning ,post' is another excellent means of obtaining a recommended servant1 and ,i hope some day to find that the clergyman's wife in each country parish will turn herself into an amateur registry office for all the young girls under her husband's charge4 ,she should teach them in the kitchen and nursery and train them in nice ways1 and be always possessed of some maiden she can send out into a better place4 ,of course the ,girls' ,friendly ,society does something of the kind1 but the good that it does is largely discounted by the evil ways of many of the #8associates1' who cannot help interfering egregiously and stupidly1 and so bringing what ought to be an absolutely perfect organisation into contempt4 ,in ,london there is only one way of finding good servants1 and that is by advertising in either of the papers ,i have suggested1 saying #8,apply by letter only1' or else the advertiser will be inundated with a class of persons who apply on the chance of picking up something in the hall1 or of getting their #8expenses' paid4 ,no unknown person should ever be left alone for a moment in the hall1 and on no consideration should anyone pay the #8expenses1' which often exist in the imagination only1 and would be amply recouped were twopence handed over to the applicant to cover her omnibus fare2 that even should be given with caution1 for1 absurd as it may sound1 there are people who exist on applying for situations1 which they accept and give excellent references to empty houses1 and promise to come in at once1 to commence the duties required immediately4 ,the mistress1 overjoyed at the idea of securing such a treasure1 gladly pays the fare to some country station1 to be refunded1 of course1 out of the first quarter's salary1 and goes off for the treasure's character1 when she promptly discovers she has been done1 and that if such a house does exist at all it is either closed entirely or lived in by someone who has never heard of the treasure1 who naturally is also not to be found at the home address1 that was given so glibly and written down so very carefully4 ,a written character should also never be taken4 ,the most exquisite handwriting1 the best of all note-paper1 duly embellished with a crest1 address1 and monogram complete1 are no safeguard1 for servants have been known to steal note-paper1 and in these days of universal education a good hand is not to be trusted in the least4 ,even if the family with whom the servant lived has gone abroad--and this is the favourite reason always given when a written character is produced--there must be some relation or friend of the last employer still left in ,england who would not object to speak for a maid1 who if worth anything at all must be known to someone outside the mere inner circle of the house itself2 and this should be insisted on1 especially in ,london1 where an unknown servant is often the friend of the gentle burglar1 and can do an immense amount of mischief4 ,indeed1 when ,i thoroughly sift the numerous complaints which reach me about servants1 ,i invariably find them caused by the fact that the maid has either been procured by a registry office or taken with only a written character in the most careless way1 and with not half the precautions we should take before we engaged ourselves to call on a new comer to our especial district4 ,we demand very strict credentials from anyone we admit to our house as a mere acquaintance2 we let anyone into the house to live as a servant who can produce any scrap of writing1 or procure any registry-office keeper to speak for her capabilities and character4 ,i am not speaking without due thought on the matter4 ,of course there are absolutely trustworthy registry offices1 and some written characters may be genuine2 but as a rule neither is to be trusted1 and it is far better to do one's household work oneself than to engage someone of whom we know no more than can be told us by an individual eager for the hiring fee1 or from a bit of paper probably written on by the applicant herself4 ,i actually know a case where the mistress had to go into the neighbouring town to search for a cook who had been missing for twenty-four hours1 and who found her locked up in the police court for drunkenness and riotous behaviour1 and who discharging her on the spot was surprised to find the woman a few weeks after in a friend's house4 ,the registry-office people had answered for her character2 although the first mistress had taken the trouble to place the report of the case in the local papers in the registrar's hands1 and the cook was in possession1 needless to remark that she broke out again and is no doubt carrying on her practices in another confiding mistress's house at this very moment4 ,a written character introduced a butler into a friend's house1 which he promptly burned to the ground in a fit of blind drunkenness1 while another servant in another house was found in the act of carefully concealing a burglarious parent in a convenient cupboard2 and indeed ,i do not think ,i am exaggerating when ,i say that every case of #8bad servant' that is brought under my notice originates in either of these two particulars1 and that if due care1 aye1 and even what may appear as undue care1 is taken about the manner in which a servant is engaged we shall soon hear far fewer complaints than we do at present2 while by raising the tone of our maids and ensuring that only really good-charactered servants will be employed1 we shall get a better class of girl to take to service1 and we shall thin the ranks of unemployed dressmakers1 telegraph clerks1 and shop-girls1 and shall bring them back to the sheltered1 safe1 untempted lives that are the portions of all those who are in good places1 under the care of conscientious and thoughtful mistresses4 ,i think many writers--,mr4 ,besant1 for example--have done great harm by the manner in which domestic service has been run down2 and when ,i am called on to pity and weep over the case of the #8sweated' sempstress1 the underpaid1 unsettled governess1 the miserable shop-girl1 who cannot sit down and to whom all sorts of unpleasant internal miseries happen because of her hard work1 ,i absolutely refuse to do so4 ,there are plenty of good sheltered homes waiting for these girls1 either here or in ,australia1 where they can be fed and well looked after1 where they have every comfort1 and where they are as absolutely safe as if they were in a palace1 indeed1 much safer1 as maids in palaces are left much to their own devices and can get into as much mischief as they please1 and there is therefore no reason for their unhappiness save and except the absurd one of wishing to be their own mistresses4 #8,freedom6 ,i want my freedom4 ,i would rather starve than be obliged to brush my hair neatly1 to give up my drowned ostrich feather1 my screams of unbridled laughter in the streets1 the delicious joy of trailing up and down a gas-lighted road1 and1 in fact1 of being my own mistress4' ,that is the argument put into the mouth of the factory girl1 only1 of course1 in not quite such plain language1 and much applauded4 ,now1 if so1 don't ask me to weep over the girl who talks like this1 because ,i shall not do it4 ,freedom is about the worst thing in the world for a young girl4 ,she requires a guiding hand1 as1 indeed1 in my opinion1 all women require one1 all through their lives2 and1 after all1 who is freer and less trammelled than a good servant in a good place8 ,she has no anxieties1 no troubles4 ,whatever happens1 her wages are paid to the day1 and her food is unfailing4 ,indeed1 when troubles are disporting themselves in the drawing-room the maids seem to think #8more food and oftener' an excellent panacea4 ,and she can have her holidays and her walks too whenever they can be managed2 while for the large class of girl who becomes1 or rather wants to become1 a nursery governess1 are there not endless other situations crying out for them1 where as upper nurses1 ladies' maids1 or good cooks they could be sure of occupation and of ending their days in comfort1 having been able to save1 which they could never have done on the #ael4 a year of the ordinary nursery governess1 who does all the mending and bathing1 and1 indeed1 in some cases1 much more of it than falls to the share of an upper nurse1 who yet ranks below the governess1 because she is a servant4 ,now1 ,i think that1 if the young people who marry on about #cjjl4 a year1 and can only afford one maid1 would try this plan of engaging some girl who cannot get a situation as nursery governess1 and work together with her1 they would be far more comfortable than they otherwise would be4 ,all their things are new and pretty1 the bedroom nice1 the kitchen fresh and comfortable4 ,a young bride on a small income must help with the cooking and bed-making4 ,surely this would be much more pleasantly carried out if the maid were in some measure a friend4 ,i can assure you that old-fashioned servants ,i know have far better claims to be considered of a good family than dozens of girls who pitchfork themselves into the governess ranks1 and consider themselves members of the aristocracy from that date4 ,to sum up1 then1 our case3 if we require a comfortable house we must take our servants young and train them ourselves1 or we must be very sure that the servant is what she claims to be1 and that the character she is provided with is a good one2 and1 finally1 we must endeavour to refill the ranks of upper and better-class servants from the overstocked ones of nursery governesses and unoccupied girls1 whose parents have not provided for them1 and who are unable to do a single thing by which they can in any measure help themselves4 ,there are stupid1 careless1 and even unkind mistresses in the world1 but as a rule servants are considered and very kindly dealt with1 and there can be no reason why a girl should refuse a sheltered home and work that is not as hard as many other kinds of labour1 and that should be amusing and pleasant1 in a small household1 or even in a large one1 where the housekeeper is a lady and the upper servants are distinct and separate2 a nurse of course having her own rooms and being waited on far more than is the governess1 who after all in the eyes of the domestics is neither one thing nor another1 and has often enough to go without or see after her own comforts4 ,but until that halcyon day arrives we must1 as ,i remarked just now1 be very particular about the maid's references1 and we ought then1 if possible1 to make the acquaintance of her mother1 and also1 if we can manage it1 of the clergyman who prepared her for confirmation4 ,of course this means trouble4 ,yes1 it does1 but not half as much trouble as is caused in the endless procession of new servants which passes through so many houses1 leaving behind it traces of its progress in the shape of ruined brooms and brushes1 burned-out saucepans1 smashed crockery1 and bladeless knives1 all of which must be replaced as one goes out and another comes in1 in a manner which almost ruins the unfortunate master and enrages the mistress proportionally4 ,and now to turn to the question of how to make the kitchen a little pleasanter than it is at present1 especially in those houses where there is no servants' hall4 ,the best of cooks only succeeds in making her room look spotlessly clean and absolutely uninteresting2 there is nothing pretty about it1 and there is1 as a rule1 nothing save the ordinary hard ,windsor chair on which to sit4 ,this is quite right and what it should be2 but besides that there could be an easier chair for the tired servant1 who presumably can get quite as fatigued as we can1 and for whom we could provide a low-backed chair with cushions 7easily taken out and washed7 once we have come to the conclusion that she is ,illustration3 ,,fig4 #ag4--;,an ,ideal ,kitchen4 likely to stay with us and that she is to be trusted not to make hay with it4 ,our artist has made a sketch of #8an ideal kitchen' from ,mr4 ,faulkner ,armitage's designs1 which ,i hope will some day be the kitchen of the future4 ,here the dresser and mantel-piece arrangement provide for all the necessary pots and pans1 while the furniture is as simple as it is pretty1 and in consequence has an artistic effect which is really charming4 ,this furniture is stained malachite green or russet brown1 whichever is preferred2 with the green furniture1 the tiled paper on the wall1 which is much nicer to live with than mere colour-wash and is quite as clean1 as it can be wiped over with a damp duster quite easily1 should be red and white1 and the paint a dark shade of red2 with the brown1 the paper should be blue and white1 and the paint a good blue1 and all along the wall on the floor should be a two-inch band of wood2 this keeps the chairs away from the wall2 but if the base of the wall becomes shabby a dado of oilcloth can always be added with a real dado rail2 this keeps a wall tidy for years1 and can always be washed1 and finally painted over should the pattern crack or become in any measure worn and untidy4 ,the ordinary boarded kitchen should be covered entirely with a good1 well-seasoned linoleum1 and a square of carpet lined with a thin ,american cloth should be given to the cook to place down on ,sundays1 or after the worst of the work is over2 this gives a finished and furnished look to the room1 and adds a great deal to the comfort of the maids4 ,a stone floor should be painted with ,hoskyn's ,ben ,trovato red1 and some rugs laid down at all times1 as this is very bad to stand upon4 ,i had linoleum laid all over the only stone floor ,i ever possessed1 and that answered excellently2 it was put down so that it adhered to the stone in some manner1 and lasted a very great many years in excellent condition2 but should anyone object to this ,i can also recommend a square of ,treloar's cocoa-nut matting1 bound all round with a wide binding2 but this should be rolled back for cooking1 as grease adheres to it dreadfully and soon makes it shabby4 ,the kitchen windows are always rather a trouble to arrange1 as generally they are basement windows1 and muslin so soon gets out of order with the steam and general mess2 but if the cook takes pride in her windows and likes to wash her curtains herself there is no reason why she should not have the same kind of white curtains that there are in the bedrooms2 but let all come from the top of the window1 half-blinds being dreadful1 and looking worse1 in my opinion1 than no blinds at all4 ,in windows on a level with the garden or street one must have obscured glass1 either cathedral or ribbed glass4 ,this1 of course1 is rather hard on the maids1 who are not thus able to look out1 but it cannot be helped3 it is impossible for the kitchen to be so much in evidence as it otherwise would be1 and no muslin is as effective a screen as the obscured glass is4 ,there should always be inside bars and shutters to any basement or ground-floor windows1 and nothing should be kept downstairs which can possibly or in any way tempt the prowling burglar4 ,all silver should be taken upstairs to the master's room1 and there should be a small dog loose downstairs2 a dog frightens a thief dreadfully1 as he is quite as much afraid of his bark as ever he is of his bite4 ,the basement in a ,london house is often a dreadful possession1 as there are so many places where a thief could conceal himself in the daytime4 ,no doors1 then1 should ever be left unbolted2 and the master should1 furthermore1 make a practice of going round the very last thing at night to see that all is safe1 or else there can be no security at all4 ,sometimes the servants may descend again and hold unholy revels2 sometimes an open or unguarded door leaves access to the place2 and an unexpected visit from a tramp may alarm us as much as would a professional visit from a burglar4 ,we cannot impress this on our servants too often1 and we impress it on them a thousand times more forcibly than we otherwise should when they see our nightly patrol1 and know we have supplemented their bolts with a visit of inspection4 ,then the door at the top of the stairs should be bolted1 barred1 and locked1 and the key removed4 ,this should be given into the care of the butler if there be one1 or into the safe keeping of the cook2 and we may retire to rest feeling safe that even if the tramp comes1 or the thief is in hiding below1 he will remain in the lower regions1 and can do nothing worse than have a feast in the larder or break a few panes of glass in his efforts to escape4 ,it will seem to my readers that one has to take endless trouble1 to see perpetually about endless trifles1 as long as we are householders1 and have the management of a family on our hands4 ,yet once started on good lines1 and matters are not so difficult as they appear2 still1 of course1 no life of great responsibility--indeed1 no life at all--can ever be entirely happy and entirely easy4 ,those who have least to do become bored and tired by mere inactivity2 those who have most1 wearing out instead of rusting out4 ,all comes to an end some day2 there is no doubt about that4 ,strive as we may1 death waits for us all1 and our carefully trained household falls apart and drifts away2 our furniture wears out1 our carefully amassed hoards are turned over and parted among our successors2 some one else takes our house1 and obliterates with his personality the last traces of ours2 and if we have refused to do our work1 or let things slide1 we shall speedily be forgotten2 but if we have honestly done our work1 what of it8 ,our maids carry on our good lessons elsewhere2 our hoards make someone else happy1 and the example we have set bears fruit a hundredfold1 and someone is always happier1 some household better for the work we have done4 ,no matter1 then1 if we have fallen out of the ranks1 tired out2 we have done our work1 and so can retire gracefully1 being quite sure that none of our trouble is wasted1 and that not one of us has toiled in vain4 ,and ,i maintain that we cannot ever take too much trouble about our homes1 that we cannot have them too pretty or too well managed1 and that1 moreover1 once they are started1 they are easy to keep going1 always supposing that we have regular ways and rules1 that we do not muddle1 and that we pass over nothing that requires attention1 let it be a braid off a chair1 or the misdemeanour or disobedience of a servant or child2 the one should be mended1 the other spoken to at once1 then things will go on like clockwork1 and we shall be fairly astonished to find how well things progress and how admirably they manage themselves4 ,start well1 start carefully1 and then all one has to do is to steer straight2 after all1 steering is not very hard work1 and that is all one has to do once the ship is fairly loaded and under way4 ,,chapter ,,xi4 ,,the ,,sick ,,room4 ,in all large houses there ought undoubtedly to be some provision for infectious illness4 ,of course ,i know that there are excellent fever hospitals1 where one can be despatched at almost a moment's notice1 where an ambulance will deposit you1 and where the best nursing and doctoring can be had at a most moderate outlay2 and ,i1 for one1 highly applaud those courageous souls who telegraph for the proper conveyance1 and depart1 cutting themselves off from their homes1 and at the same time from any chance of handing on their complaints elsewhere1 with one fell swoop4 ,but1 much as ,i admire and applaud1 nothing would1 ,i fear1 induce me to follow their laudable example4 ,to know how to be ill is a fine art1 and this accomplishment is quite thrown away on those who regard one merely as a #8case1' and talk about one as if one were a mere chattel left with them to repair1 and return with the utmost speed4 ,moreover1 ,i maintain always that one's bodily health depends immensely on one's surroundings1 and that it would take double the time to get better in a hospital than one would in one's own home1 where one could see one's friends out of the window and catch even a far-off whisper of what was happening1 and see even from the greatest distance some of one's old1 accustomed sights4 ,in an ordinary house1 as at present arranged1 it would be absolutely impossible to have even the smallest amount of infectious disease without running the greatest risk of handing it on to all the rest of the family2 but there could be in most houses such arrangements made1 were the builder a man of sense1 that we could have a hospital room1 a room sufficiently isolated to ensure immunity from infection1 and yet near enough to do away with the hopeless feeling which seizes the ordinary mortal the moment he hears he has #8something catching1' and which enables him to understand what were the feelings of the lepers of old1 who had to flee from the sight of their fellow-creatures1 calling out aloud as they ran1 #8,unclean6 unclean6' ,of course we ought not to feel angry with those who refuse to come near us2 indeed1 had ,i my way no one should ever enter a house where there was small-pox1 scarlatina1 or diphtheria2 but we do resent it somehow1 despite our own common sense and the knowledge that we should forbid the call our friends are so anxious not to make if they attempted to come near us2 and there is no more miserable feeling than that which seizes us when we are told that we have a complaint in our midst which may prevent us from being on the same footing as the rest of mankind for several weary weeks1 or may be months4 ,but1 before going into the matter of what we should do when infection is in our house1 let me for a moment speak about the room we should all of us possess ready for an emergency and into which we could retire were we ill at all1 not only #8infectious' but ill in such a way that we may require careful nursing1 many fires1 and absolute quiet and rest4 ,we should select a room at the top of the house unless we are building our house2 in that case we should have a couple of rooms added on at one end1 with a bathroom1 lavatory1 and tiny kitchen range in a third room4 ,this should make a sort of annexe to the house2 it should be reached from outside1 and a passage1 closed at one end with a plate-glass door1 should communicate with the rest of the house4 ,i once knew such an arrangement as this1 and have always hankered after it1 more especially as it allowed one member of a family of eight children to have scarlet fever at home without in the least endangering the lives of any others of the family1 while the mother could see the child daily through the plate-glass door1 although she could not nurse her herself4 ,she ran absolutely no risk2 the plate-glass door was as safe as the solid wall1 and over it always hung a sheet steeped in carbolic acid4 ,the child was nursed among familiar surroundings2 the doctor could visit it without passing through the house2 all the food could be placed so that the nurse received it without the smallest risk1 and1 in fact1 the arrangement was so absolutely perfect that ,i cannot understand why possessors of large houses and good means do not always keep some rooms of the kind ready4 ,no family can go through life without illness2 it is much easier to bear when all is prepared for it1 and there is no dreadful domestic upset to add to our natural anxiety and trouble when illness comes upon us all4 ,now1 given such houses as these1 or even the single room quite at the top of the house1 which would be next best 7and although these have their disadvantages1 they are generally quieter than any other71 ,i should proceed to decorate them prettily4 ,i should paint the walls first1 and then ,i should paper them with the very cheapest blue paper ,i could find4 ,i think ,maple's #d;d4 blue and white paper would be best1 and ,i should have ivory paint1 the #d;d4 a piece white and yellow ceiling paper1 and curtains of #as4 #f;d4 a yard serge in art blue double4 ,there is nothing here which cannot be replaced at a very small cost2 yet everything would look pretty and bright and fresh2 and ,i should have the floor parqueterie or else covered with matting and rugs4 ,the rugs could be removed in a moment if anything infectious were the matter1 while the matting could be disinfected or destroyed2 but this should remain4 ,it smells fresh1 it never accumulates the dust1 and always looks nice1 in my opinion4 ,in illness looks are everything1 and it is absolutely necessary for things to be neat and pretty2 else the patient will be worried to death without really understanding why he is being worried4 ,the bed should be a good wide one--a double one4 ,this gives room for the patient to move about in4 ,it should have a wire mattress and a good hair mattress at the top1 four pillows1 and a bolster1 and it should have an ample supply of venerable blankets for under use4 ,those for over use should depend on what is the matter4 ,new blankets and an eider-down are lighter and warmer than anything1 and if these are required they must be had1 even if afterwards they have to be destroyed4 ,there should be no washing or dressing apparatus visible 7these can be kept in the lavatory71 but there should be two or three of the stained wooden chairs sold by ,pither1 #ch ,mortimer ,street1 ,w41 which are comfortable enough for the doctor and an occasional visitor or for the nurse on duty 7too much comfort often induces sleep71 and which can be wiped over daily4 ,there should also be a wide1 deep wicker armchair1 nicely cushioned1 and there should be a long chair for the invalid1 where he or she could rest while the bed is made or remain when convalescence has begun1 and the bed may be left for some hours at least4 ,the long deck chairs are not suitable for this purpose1 as1 being made of wicker1 they creak in the most awful manner1 and are not comfortable in the least2 but there are some long narrow beds used as camp beds1 which can be put up at any angle1 and have an iron frame filled in with sacking1 on which a cushion is placed4 ,this makes the most comfortable lounge of which ,i know1 and should be in every sick room or room set apart for the purpose of nursing4 ,they can be bought at almost any ironmonger's1 or at any place which caters for ,volunteers or those who do any luxurious camping out4 ,there should be pictures on the walls1 and a bookcase1 and above all there should be a screen of some kind or other4 ,the pictures should be of the cheapest2 some of those lately issued by the #8,illustrated ,news' people1 which resemble old ,bartolozzi prints1 would do admirably1 as the frames could be disinfected1 the glass washed1 and the pictures themselves destroyed4 ,the bookcase could be varnished or re-,aspinalled1 and the books burned4 ,books are fearful methods of conveying infection1 and carelessness about this cannot be too harshly condemned4 ,it is far better to destroy everything1 no matter how precious it may be1 than run the very smallest risk of passing on even what may be considered a mild complaint1 for that which is mild in one patient often causes death or great suffering in another whose constitution is unfitted to cope with that special disease4 ,once the room is ready and looking pretty1 the next care must be to see that it is kept properly aired and that nothing gets out of order1 and that all the things for use are in their places2 then we need not think any more about the room1 which should be under the charge of the head-nurse of the establishment2 but1 especially where there are children1 it is absolutely necessary that we should be prepared for emergencies1 and know exactly what to do should there be any necessity for prompt action4 ,there are a series of rules printed by the ,national ,health ,society1 which should be hung up in every nursery1 and there should be1 moreover1 a box containing simple remedies for sprains 7arnica71 cuts 7calendula71 and burns 7oiled silk1 oil1 and cotton wool71 and the nurse should keep the key4 ,but1 whatever happens1 her remedies can only be temporary ones2 all her instructions should end like those to the ambulance experts1 #8,send for the doctor4' ,now1 although ,i am certainly no advocate for constantly sending for the doctor1 and though ,i maintain that for small children a good nurse is worth all the doctors under the sun1 ,i do maintain that immense comfort and safety are procured by an early visit from the doctor if we are fearful that anything is wrong above the common4 ,but ,i maintain equally strongly that to be able to do this we must be very sure of our man2 we must be able to trust him1 and we must be quite certain that he is an honest man1 who will not trespass on our credulity or fatten on our fears1 and who will have the necessary courage to tell us straight out that we have nothing to fear and that we need not send for him again1 or at least that he will not come again until we do send for him4 ,above all1 let us1 if possible1 keep to the same doctor4 ,nothing is more stupid than to change him1 unless we are absolutely obliged to do so1 for he understands his patients' constitutions if he has always had to see after them4 ,a new man cannot possibly do so at first1 and much more depends on a doctor understanding what he has to deal with1 as far as heredity is concerned1 than one quite comprehends4 ,people would not be quite so ready to change their medical attendant as they very often seem to me to be if they thoroughly believed in this4 ,and now comes the great subject of nursing4 ,i was much amused the other day to see an indignant article from someone who abused the present generation of mothers because they did not nurse their children themselves in cases of infection1 and because their first idea in an emergency was to send for a nurse4 ,now ,i maintain that that is the very wisest thing anyone can do4 ,a mother1 as a rule1 is the worst person in the world to nurse her own child2 her fearful anxiety makes her nervous and communicates itself to the patient1 who ought never to know that anyone is the least anxious about him4 ,her face betrays her1 and her shaking hands play her false1 and on a thousand grounds it is far better to have a trained nurse than to trust to unskilled though loving nursing4 ,a mother may never have had the smallest experience of nursing until she is called upon to exercise any little talent she may have for it on behalf of her nearest and dearest4 ,she becomes frantically miserable at symptoms a nurse understands1 and are often enough symptoms for good2 she cannot raise a patient and give him food comfortably1 as does a woman trained to the work1 and she cannot be the #8half-doctor' all nurses ought undoubtedly to be1 and indeed are nowadays1 unless she has had training2 a course of training1 by the way1 which would be most distasteful to many and absolutely impossible to the few4 ,a nurse is born1 not made2 of that ,i am absolutely convinced from my own experience4 ,i do not think anything would make me personally fit to nurse anyone1 much as ,i should like to do it4 ,were ,i called upon to turn nurse ,i could undoubtedly keep a room neat1 smooth a pillow1 and fold a sheet over properly2 but ,i stand by in amaze and watch a friend of mine who has never been trained1 but is a born nurse1 who knows exactly how to lift her patient1 when and how to give beef-tea and medicine1 and who does easily and without effort what ,i cannot do at all1 try as hard as ,i may to follow her excellent example4 ,she may be anxious1 she never shows it in the least2 she may be tired to death1 she does not look it2 her voice is always at the right pitch1 and though she naturally is not merry when there is danger1 she maintains an even cheerfulness which is delightful1 and as restful to the patient as it is most undoubtedly restful and reassuring to the patient's friends4 ,now1 sentiment apart--and sentiment should never be considered in the very least degree where real work has to be done--surely my friend is better able to nurse1 and a much safer nurse1 than ,i should be2 ,i1 who have honestly and seriously tried to overcome my stupidity and dread of sick people1 and who visited at a hospital regularly until ,i was utterly and completely routed by seeing a man in a fit1 since when ,i have avoided hospitals and have quite come to the conclusion ,i should never be a nurse4 ,therefore1 is it not wiser for people in real cases of dangerous illness to engage women who understand their work8 ,i am convinced it is1 and strongly recommend anyone who is advised by the doctor to send for a nurse to do so4 ,he will always be able to tell them where to send2 if not1 they can find any amount of addresses in that most useful and excellent little book #8,dickens's ,dictionary of ,london4' ,but the doctor should find the nurse in infectious cases1 for1 as a rule1 he knows someone with whom he has worked already1 and of course these nurses have to be sent for in a hurry2 one does not make preparations for and look out for fevers as one does when a small baby is expected2 about that ,i have said all ,i have to say in my other book1 and shall not therefore say anything here on that absorbing subject4 ,everybody should remember that illness1 instead of deadening our faculties1 undoubtedly and at once heightens every one we possess4 ,we see more acutely most certainly2 our smell and taste are exaggerated in the most painful degree1 and little annoyances and inferior cooking1 which we scarcely notice1 or indeed notice not at all1 when we are well1 try us most dreadfully4 ,if we are to eat at all1 all must be absolutely clean and free from grease1 and sent up spotlessly2 there must not be a suspicion of carelessness1 or inevitably we shall turn against the food and send it down untouched4 ,likewise1 creaking shoes1 rustling paper1 banging doors1 crooked pictures1 dusty tables and chairs must not exist where there are invalids2 and1 above all1 ,i am convinced that until a person is actually and positively dead no one should talk about them over their bodies1 thinking they are insensible4 ,i am certain that insensible people1 so called1 are often far more sensitive than either doctor or nurse will allow1 and ,i know ,i myself have often heard things which were never meant for me to hear when people have thought me asleep1 but when ,i have really simply been too tired to open my eyes2 and ,i shall never forget the expression that flitted across the face of a dear old lady who was absolutely dying1 who had not swallowed for two days1 or spoken for a great many more1 when her daughter and maid spoke of the mourning and funeral by her bedside heartlessly4 ,she heard and understood1 although she undoubtedly had no power of letting us know that she did so4 ,and ,i1 moreover1 have been told by a cousin whose recovery from a frightful attack of blood-poisoning was miraculous1 and who most certainly was merely saved from death by her doctor's unremitting care and the excellent nursing she received from him--he never left her once for over forty-eight hours--that she knew absolutely everything that went on1 that she heard every single word and whisper1 and that she most certainly would never say a word in the presence of any #8insensible' person that could pain or agitate him in the least1 for when she appeared most insensible to on-lookers she was really far more sensitive than she had ever been in all her life3 her hearing was absolutely acute1 and every sense seemed on end1 a feeling ,i can corroborate from my own experience1 though ,i have had no really very serious illness1 but have been ill enough to comprehend this supersensitiveness and to understand how absolutely quiet and restful should be the conditions of any invalid4 ,it sounds absurd to say that noise can kill anyone1 but noise can2 a sudden shock can undoubtedly snap the thread of life1 while noise constantly wearing on the brain can do endless harm1 especially to those who are predisposed to notice and resent continually unpleasant sounds4 ,and now ,i want to give a hint to many among us who are abjectly miserable because they fancy they have some incurable complaint1 and yet have not the sense or courage to really go to a good doctor and learn what is the matter1 or indeed whether there is anything the matter at all4 ,the tiny lump which appears on the neck may be nothing but a little swelling of a gland1 or it may be cancer2 the dreadful pain that seizes the chest may be heart or it may be indigestion2 anyhow1 whatever it is1 it is far better to know what is the matter than to wear oneself to death in wondering if we have or have not a fatal disease4 ,if we have not1 well and good2 if we have1 what1 after all1 does it matter8 ,we have all fatal diseases1 if it comes to that1 and we are all absolutely sure1 unpleasant as is the fact1 that we must die1 and it is something to know a little about the means and time by which we shall have to shuffle off this mortal coil2 and1 moreover1 we can undoubtedly save ourselves endless trouble1 and stave off the last day of our lives1 if we learn early in the day what we have to avoid1 and how best we can manage our lives1 many having lost them entirely because they literally had not the courage to go to the doctor1 or went to him so late that he had sorrowfully to confess he could do nothing1 albeit he could have done much had the patient come to him when she or he first began to suspect there was anything amiss4 ,i could1 ,i am sorry to say1 quote examples from my own dear and intimate friends of the evil done by this cowardly dislike to face the worst1 and ,i therefore feel very strongly on the subject1 and implore any of my readers who may suspect a lurking disease to face it4 ,it may be nothing but fancy2 even so1 the fancy should be exorcised4 ,it may be fatal2 then the doctor will lay down rules at once for guidance1 and even if death is imminent it is just as well to know this4 ,there are things to do quietly1 and one's house to set in order1 albeit there is no need to make the lives of all one's relations burdens to them2 neither need we make ourselves miserable beforehand by everlasting contemplation of the inevitable parting4 ,be quite sure1 whether it comes at #ajj1 at #bj1 at #dj1 we none of us realise or relish the idea1 but when a thing must be it is best to accept it gracefully2 people will remember us much more kindly if we go cheerfully1 and do not make them all wretched by kicking against the pricks4 ,and1 above all1 remember if you have a disease to keep the fact to yourself and to your doctor2 no one else wants to hear about it1 and it is interesting to no one else4 ,if you become an invalid you can be both cheerful and useful1 although ,i know how hateful--how truly hateful--it is to put up the once active feet1 and cross the once busy hands1 and simply listen to what we once used to do4 ,i know too that a good listener is highly appreciated1 and that many a happy home finds the heart of the house round the invalid sofa1 where can always be found someone who is always at home1 always disengaged1 always willing to help and anxious to hear1 and who has a most profound interest in all that is going on1 despite the fact that she is out of the action1 and can only take a passive part in the life that seemed once as if it could never go on without her4 ,moreover1 an invalid should never become absorbed in herself1 in her treatment1 her medicine1 and the progress of her malady2 having found her doctor to be trustworthy1 she should do as he tells her1 and after his visit she should utterly decline to speak of herself2 she should read1 if possible work 7how ,i do wish ,i could sew1 or knit1 or do anything on earth save read and write671 and1 above all she should be absolutely nice and particular about her clothes1 which should never degenerate 7unless it is absolutely necessary7 into the dressing-gown stage4 ,loose garments are untidy1 and anything untidy or #8dressing-gowny' assists the invalid idea1 which should be kept in the background as much as possible4 ,then there is another thing ,i should like to mention1 and that is that invalids should always have their affairs settled1 and their wishes as regards the future of their children or their property entirely and properly understood--that is to say1 understood and settled as far as anything can be settled that is so unknown as the future--and while a man is an absolute criminal who neglects to make his will1 a woman is equally foolish who1 having strong feelings on subjects which will concern her children1 or may be the place of her burial1 does not write such a letter on the subject to her husband1 to be opened after her death1 as shall lay all her wishes before him1 but only as wishes3 the dead hand should never fetter anyone2 at best it should only indicate the course which the owner would have followed4 ,in but one case should a man or a woman who has property put an emphatic embargo on the future proceedings of the husband or wife1 and then only if there are children1 and that is in the case of the husband or wife remarrying4 ,under these circumstances the property should go absolutely into the hands of trustees1 to be administered entirely for the use of the children1 who are often enough defrauded of their father's or mother's money1 which goes to keep some lazy man or extravagant woman who in their time may produce children to share that which was only meant for the owner's own offspring4 ,this rule should never be departed from under any circumstances3 it should be absolutely out of anyone's power to defraud children of what was intended for them alone by the one parent who had money4 ,this does not prevent a man or a woman marrying again2 they had the same chances1 if they wanted them1 as they had before2 but it does prevent the children being robbed1 as ,i have known them robbed1 in more than one case1 by their silly mothers1 who1 yearning for the love and protection they have lost1 cast themselves into the arms of number two1 doubly flattered at being wooed when their first bloom has vanished1 and find themselves saddled with men who neglect the business they were supposed to keep together1 or squander the money saved so hardly and set aside so carefully for those who cannot help themselves or stay the marriage that will inevitably spoil their home life if it do not wreck their futures4 ,let the wife have all control until she marries again2 then someone else should step in1 as undoubtedly if a woman does not care to remember her husband she will not care to assure herself and protect his children from an extravagant1 improvident man2 and of course a man should be treated in the same way2 all control as long as he remembers his wife1 none when he ceases to do so and would maintain a successor out of the money she meant for her children's welfare4 ,now all this can be managed1 and1 indeed1 should be managed1 on the wife's part by a letter written to her husband1 and on a man's by a calm conversation with his wife1 who of course will vow that nothing on this earth would induce her to marry again2 but1 unfortunately for her argument1 example can be brought against her of people who have said just the same1 who have wept in the marketplace and wrung their hands in high places1 #8so to speak1' and yet have married generally #8for the sake of the dear children' before they had worn out their mourning1 and therefore her protestations can be gently set on one side with the quiet statement that in that case the money will be in her own power4 ,this can show no lack of confidence in the wife2 it simply shows a lack of confidence in any possible future husband1 and a consummate knowledge of human nature1 which forgets disagreeables speedily1 alas6 and accepts hurriedly any chance that may present itself of obliterating a mournful memory and changing one's trappings of woe for newer and far more beaming garments4 ,i never could understand the sensitiveness that prevents some wives and husbands from ever speaking of the future that must come when they will be separated4 ,there need be no continual discussion of the mournful subject1 but it should be discussed thoroughly when the will is made2 it need never be spoken of again until circumstances arise that may cause some alterations to be made1 or codicils added2 anything that may be too painful to discuss can be written in the final letter of farewell4 ,then1 if one has no accumulations of other folks' letters1 if one's drawers are tidy1 one's bills paid1 and one's conscience clear1 there will be nothing to make anyone extra-miserable after we have departed2 we shall have done our work1 left everything in order1 and shall leave nothing but a pleasant memory behind us4 ,death as a rule is either made unduly awful1 or is a time of the most extravagant expenditure4 ,the immense quantities of florists' wreaths sent nowadays have brought into disrepute one of the most charming ideas possible1 and the money once devoted to black plumes and undertaker's millinery of all kinds1 to extravagant mourning and absurd woe1 is now squandered equally extravagantly and absurdly on wreaths1 which cost from #aes4 to #cjs4 each1 and which are simply thrown into the earth to perish there untimely4 ,not for one moment would ,i deprecate the use of flowers entirely1 but let them be arranged by people who loved me1 and really bound them together because they knew ,i loved them4 ,i would rather spend money1 or have money spent1 on some useful memorial than on a perishable wreath2 and were ,i to die to-morrow ,i should say1 ,give me as simple1 as cheap a funeral as you can1 and give the money to my pet charity4 ,it could be done in my name1 and would be a practical remembrance of me1 and a far more useful one than hundreds of wreaths4 ,why1 ,i once saw a funeral in mid-winter where there were over #cjj wreaths4 ,this would have almost built a ward in the ,hospital for ,sick ,children2 it would certainly have helped the good ,sisters at ,kilburn1 and have done great good to the children there1 who had always been loved by her whose funeral it was4 ,and in the same way would ,i deprecate a #8handsome' coffin and elaborate headstone2 neither can do any good to the dead1 and the memory of those we have loved can be perpetuated a thousand times longer should we content ourselves with the simplest oak coffin we can get and the plain cross1 which will last as long as anyone could wish it to1 while the money saved can be given elsewhere4 ,everyone has some pet scheme that could be benefited by his or her death2 no one but the undertaker and florist is benefited now4 ,another reason why we should not encourage the sending of an immense quantity of flowers from our friends is1 that there is something almost ghastly about the false air of festivity given by the constant receipt and opening of the parcels and boxes in which they are sent2 in the list of names which1 must be written out1 in order that all who sent may be thanked or their names mentioned in the local paper2 and in the smothered remarks of the servants and children as they look at the beauties1 and compare the present one with the last one laid on the coffin in the room which is so familiar and yet has become so fearfully and wonderfully strange4 ,but if flowers need not be sent 7and ,i wish ,i could think all would send the money instead to some special fund71 letters should always be written4 ,they may not be read at first--nay may never be really read at all--but the name of the writer will always be remembered warmly1 and as that of one who knew that sympathy is the most precious gift we can any of us receive when we are in the depths1 and that dark curtain descends which seems as if it would lie for ever between us and the outside world4 ,ah me6 no matter who has died1 it will rise again1 and life will flow on just the same as if we had never lost those who were so near and so dear to us4 ,undoubtedly1 too1 though we should none of us ever call at the house to inquire after a scarlet fever1 small-pox1 or diphtheria case1 we should let our friends know through the post that we are thinking of them4 ,if their child is ill we can make up tiny parcels to send4 ,a few flowers2 a paper doll2 a few old books1 which can be burned as soon as read2 #8scraps' to paste into books2 odds and ends which cost nothing and can be destroyed without a pang1 often making a small child's day of tedious weariness and slow convalescence1 an entirely different thing to what it might have otherwise been2 and the idea of what to-morrow's post may bring has1 to my knowledge1 more than once soothed a tired little girl to rest2 for she would go to sleep easier when she remembered that the sooner the night was over the sooner the familiar ring would be heard1 and the lovely parcel would arrive1 which might contain nothing more costly than glass beads for stringing1 or some roses and a cheap little vase to put them in1 but which was a never-ending source of wonder and delight1 until the child was well and able to take her place again among her brothers and sisters4 ,in the sick room1 which may be the death chamber1 sympathy1 always precious1 becomes an absolute necessity1 and a tedious day of pain is often borne more courageously than it otherwise would have been1 and passes quicker than it otherwise might have done1 if we know that people are thinking of us and wondering if there is anything they can do to lighten our time of trouble and to help us bear the inevitable misery of it all4 ,a sick person1 or an invalid1 should never be forgotten4 ,i verily believe half our dread of death comes from the fact that we know that soon we shall be as if we had never been1 and that our place shall be taken by another and shall know us no more4 ,when we are quite sure that there is an infectious disease in our house1 we ought to be compelled by ,act of ,parliament to register the fact at some convenient place1 where a list of houses similarly infected should undoubtedly be exposed in a prominent place4 ,none should be exempt from this law1 and the doctor should be the person responsible for the registration1 a severe penalty1 moreover1 being inflicted in any case of wilful misrepresentation or of the withholding of proper information of the outbreak4 ,that the penalty is necessary is proved by the fact that ,i once knew a country doctor speak of a bad attack of scarlet fever as a mild case of rose rash1 because he was abjectly afraid of losing the patronage of the dame whose child it was1 and who objected to the isolation which would have been her portion had the truth been known4 ,still the disease spread1 owing to her selfishness and the doctor's supineness1 and the truth came out1 but not before she had done endless mischief and caused the death of a child of one of her relations1 who was sent into the house with his nurse to inquire after the #8rose rash1' and who would never have been allowed to pass even the same side of the street had his mother known the truth2 and both the doctor and the patient's mother were in consequence ostracised and isolated from their fellow-creatures far more completely and for a much longer period than they would have been had they boldly and at once told the truth4 ,nowadays1 with the slight exception of the law that we must not wilfully expose anyone suffering from an infectious disease in a public conveyance1 we may do pretty much as we like4,a ,we can send other members of the family to church or the theatre2 we can send our washing to the public laundry1 we may let our friends come and see us without mentioning what is the matter1 and1 in fact1 there is no law except the moral law 7which governs so few of us7 to prevent us handing on the complaint to as many people as we can comfortably manage to infect4 ,the registration would prevent this1 as it would prevent us from stopping in a fever-bed or 7as happened to me not a month ago7 from sending a cat to be doctored in a house where there was a fatal case of scarlet fever2 and how that cat didn't bring it back to us is more than ,i can understand1 but it did not4 ,albeit1 any mother can understand what ,i felt until ,i knew all chance of infection was over from that source at all events4 ,a ,since the above was written a law has been passed to make the notification of disease compulsory in ,london2 so there is one step already made in advance4 ,it is the selfishness of other people that spreads so much disease1 and therefore the law should force people to be more considerate2 then disease will be stamped out undoubtedly1 and we can exist without the many qualms and dreads which harass us now1 and certainly go far to make life anything but worth living4 ,now1 ,i think if ,i had an infectious complaint in the house my first idea would be to keep people out of it4 ,i should place a placard on the door1 and then leave folks to do as they chose in the matter4 ,i should keep the rest of the household to the grounds and garden1 and ,i should--- much as ,i should hate it--stay as much at home as ,i possibly could4 ,of course the usual means of disinfection would be largely used2 still no one should run the risk of giving the complaint to any other soul4 ,the doctor would be the person to say what is infectious and what is not1 but1 despite the #8,lancet1' ,i am quite certain measles and mumps cannot be carried and cannot be given to another1 unless by the person who actually has the complaint on him4 ,about scarlet fever1 small-pox1 and diphtheria there can be no doubt1 but typhoid cannot be carried from one to the other1 although typhus most undoubtedly may be4 ,but in any case the doctor is the person to apply to1 and if we have his consent we can go about the world as usual2 only we should always tell our friends what is the matter1 and if they object to us we must not be offended with them4 ,they are quite right to object1 and we should not resent their care for their own4 ,we should not feel happy if we handed on the complaint1 and what should we experience if it had a fatal termination8 ,i1 for one1 cannot imagine4 ,there is absolutely no place on earth which requires so much good breeding to inhabit or arrange for properly as does the sick room2 therefore ,i trust ,i may be forgiven if ,i write rather fully on the matter1 more especially as this book is coming now to an end1 and ,i shall never write any more on the ever-fascinating subject of the home1 and ,i want to say a word to the patient4 ,remember1 however bad it is for you to be ill1 it is fifty times worse for those who have to see you suffer1 and that you must even at your worst think about that and remember other people4 ,do not make their anxiety greater by refusing food or medicine1 or by disobeying your doctor or nurse2 for the time give yourself entirely into their hands1 and do not refuse or kick against their remedies1 their rules and regulations4 ,be absolutely calm1 absolutely quiet1 and1 above all1 if you want to get well do not lose your hold on life if you can1 and don't fret or become terrified4 ,fear and fretting are a doctor's worst foes--almost worse than disobedience4 ,if you can recollect that whatever is is best1 and that you will recover if it is better that you should1 you will have a thousand chances that the irritable invalid can never have1 and1 at all events1 if you do die you will die courageously and resignedly1 and not screaming and kicking like a naughty child does whose nurse fetches it away to bed before it thinks it is ready to retire to rest4 ,its nurse knows best2 and so does ,god1 and if you are fetched ten chances to one your work is done1 and you can retire from the scene gracefully even if you cannot feel you are quite glad to go4 ,i am certain that the mind has a great deal to do with one's body from a small experience of my own when once ,i was saved from being very ill by a mere exercise of will1 rendered necessary by a sudden shock received when one of my children was only two days old4 ,my dear old nurse was in my room at #ab1 and at #g she was dead in the room next to mine1 and ,i knew all about it4 ,there were the two eldest children--who were five and three--running about calling for #8,nan1' from whom they had never been separated five minutes since the hour they were born4 ,i had a new housemaid4 ,i had seen in the looking-glass the monthly nurse drinking brandy out of the bottle1 and told ,nan of this1 and ,i was absolutely alone as far as friends were concerned4 ,could any situation be worse8 ,and yet before ,i slept ,i had arranged for the children to go to ,london1 for the funeral to take place soon1 and for the friends to be told4 ,and then began the struggle4 ,my doctor was confined to the house with bronchitis2 circumstances made his partner impossible2 the nearest medical man on whom one could depend was fourteen miles away1 and ,i knew ,i must not be ill2 and all that wretched night ,i kept saying this to myself1 repeating who ,i was1 where ,i was1 and what had happened1 until ,i felt ,i was master of the situation4 ,surely had ,i given in then ,i should have had a fever2 as it was1 ,i occasionally felt my head was loose and swimming round the room by itself1 and it was only by repeating to myself that this was impossible that ,i kept off the delusion1 and after a day or two ,i was nearly well1 or at all events was not ill in the accepted sense of the word1 though my dear old doctor nearly wept when ,i told him what ,i had endured1 and never could understand to his dying day why ,i had not had a serious illness1 which ,i undoubtedly must have had had ,i not staved it off in the manner ,i have just described4 ,therefore1 ,i am convinced those patients have the best chance of recovering who are quiet1 obedient1 and who1 furthermore1 try their best to live1 and believe that there is something worth living for4 ,and now a few words on that saddest of all subjects1 a death1 and ,i must devote my last chapter to more cheerful subjects--namely1 how best to get strong and well again once we have emerged from the sick room1 and are pronounced fit and able to go for a change4 ,when death has actually occurred ,i would strongly advocate that those who have loved and nursed the dead may prepare the body for the last resting-place4 ,it can be gently washed and attired in the clean night-dress1 and the hands can be crossed on the breast4 ,someone who can be trusted--not a mere hireling--should be present when the last measurements are taken2 then the room should be at once turned into a mortuary chamber1 the bed hung with white1 candles lighted head and foot1 which should not go out until the funeral day1 and fresh flowers should be kept there2 these should be changed every single day2 and1 furthermore1 the windows should be left a little open1 and on no account should the dead person be left unwatched for a moment until the coffin is screwed down2 this should never be done until there is no doubt that death has ensued1 and then the sooner the funeral is the better2 though ,i trust some day cremation may be universal1 then there can be no dread of the awful fate of one who is buried alive4 ,that ought to be made impossible in all cases by the doctor performing some simple surgical operation--,i think it is the dividing of some artery in the arm4 ,if the dead person has been attached to any particular church in his or her life-time the coffin should be placed in that church the night before the funeral1 so that the last night above ground the body may rest in that hallowed spot4 ,of course it should be watched there1 and the candles and flowers should be arranged as in the mortuary chamber1 and the first part of the service should be read there2 not by a stranger1 but by the family priest of whom ,i have spoken before2 and then when the ceremony is over no one but the clergyman should return to the house with the mourners1 who should separate and go to their own rooms4 ,there should be no general family meal that day at least2 certainly there should be no gathering even of relations and friends round the dinner-table4 ,i have experienced more than one of these awful meals1 and ,i can truthfully say that there is nothing more terrible on earth2 people must talk1 they cannot remain silent1 they must eat and drink1 and the pseudo-festivity and the endeavour to keep off and avoid the subject are so truly ghastly1 that under no circumstances can ,i understand such a thing can be in any way necessary in the least4 ,surely as unnecessary is also the reading of the will4 ,what concerns the public can be told the public1 the lawyers should manage the rest4 ,under no circumstances should the display of evil passions and disappointments be allowed that almost inevitably follows this institution4 ,let the burial-day be a day of meditation and quiet4 ,in the evening the bereaved family can gather alone and talk over what has to be done4 ,then the next day let all the clothes be sent to the ,kilburn ,orphanage2 and the personal property distributed according to the wish of the dead4 ,let the death room be entirely repapered and painted1 and1 if possible1 refurnished2 and1 above all1 do not be afraid to speak of those who have gone4 ,i know how ,i should resent being forgotten2 and perhaps those with whom we have just parted may hunger to hear all about us still2 at all events1 we cannot know they do not4 ,de mortuis may mean a great deal more than we think2 it is doubly evil1 surely1 to speak aught but good of the dead if we remember not only the defencelessness which caused that proverb1 but the idea that all we may say about them we say in their dumb presence1 and before those who are silent1 and cannot speak in their own defence4 ,death is a dreadful thing because of its silence1 its separation4 ,yet if we meet it patiently--if we believe our dead are still within reach--we can bear it1 more especially if we do our best to carry out their wishes1 and do not1 the moment they are gone1 begin to reverse all their ideas and plans1 and to forget them as speedily as may be2 while1 when our own time comes1 we can face it bravely1 feeling we are setting a good example1 and leaving behind us nothing to pain or embarrass anyone1 nothing but a bright remembrance1 a good record1 that may sooner or later be of use to others after us4 ,the sick room has more than once been the heart of the house2 the death chamber in its turn can become1 if properly thought of1 the very gate of heaven itself4 ,,chapter ,,xii4 ,,where ,,shall ,,we ,,go ,,for ,a ,,change8 ,i think there is nothing that tries an ordinary householder more than answering the question with which ,i have headed this1 my last chapter4 ,in the first place1 as a rule1 few men consider that a change can possibly be required4 ,it seems only the other day that they returned from the last uncomfortable sojourn at some unhappy seaside town1 and they are quite convinced that a second martyrdom cannot be necessary just at present4 ,in the second1 when change is really wanted1 no one knows where to go2 and in the third1 if the place be selected1 and the rooms taken1 the unfortunate creature is sure to meet someone who knows all about it1 and proceeds to make his friend profoundly miserable by telling him that that especial town is only decent at the very time of year when he cannot possibly go there2 that he knows for certain an epidemic is raging there2 and that the rooms taken for #8six weeks certain' are in the very worst part both for health and comfort1 and that he can but wish him well home again4 ,and the unfortunate traveller starts depressed and nervous2 and having made up his mind to be miserable1 is so1 and derives no benefit whatever from that which was to do him and his soul an immense amount of good4 ,now ,i cannot help thinking that ,english people1 as a rule1 do not show the smallest common sense in the manner they manage their holidays1 more especially1 of course1 among the middle classes2 the upper portion of which often enough have a tiny cottage somewhere1 of which they speak grandly as #8my country house1' and the address of which is inscribed on their cards1 and mentioned in the #8blue book4' ,and they fly to this the moment the weather becomes in the least warm1 remaining there until they are driven back by the falling leaves and chilling fogs of an ,october in the country2 and then wonder they are so little benefited4 ,why1 they have not had any change2 no more1 at least1 than those a shade lower in the social scale1 who go to the same watering-place year after year1 spend their mornings on the beach1 their afternoons in slumber1 or a #8country walk1' and their evenings on the pier or parade1 and who see the same people1 say the same things1 and do the same actions mechanically as they do in town1 only perhaps in a smaller space1 and under far more uncomfortable circumstances4 ,the very stupidest thing on earth1 to my mind1 is the annual sojourn of a large family of small children1 accompanied by their parents1 to the orthodox seaside rooms or lodgings4 ,in the first place1 the parents1 children1 and nurses are very much too much together2 the annoyances of the predatory habits of the landladies spoil ,materfamilias' temper2 the servants are disorganised1 and imagine that because the family makes holiday they are to be in some measure allowed to do just as they like1 and much resent being unable to make excursions and ramble at large1 whether it is convenient or not for their mistress to spare them4 ,and1 indeed1 ,i do not know a more hard-worked1 driven creature than the ordinary ,materfamilias at the seaside1 more especially if she has left her own large airy house1 with its nurseries and schoolrooms1 and taken lodgings at a fashionable spot1 where every inch of space costs pounds1 and where she can never rid herself of her family for one moment4 ,it is in her defence that ,i suggest that change of air should be obtained in a far easier and more satisfactory manner than it can be under the circumstances of which ,i have been speaking4 ,as long as the children are quite small1 ,i most strongly advise any mother to send them to the seaside in the end of ,may1 and let them remain there until the first or second week in ,july4 ,she should send them to some plainly-furnished cottage under the care of a lady who would be thankful to superintend them for the mere fare1 change1 keep1 c41 that would be such a boon to her2 and she should send their nurses with them4 ,in this early portion of the year lodgings are cheap and clean1 and so are provisions2 the days are longer1 the heat not so great as later on2 and the children would come back when ,london was thinning and the parks and streets safe for them to be in2 and at the end of ,july1 having settled the children in1 the father and mother could go for the complete change and rest they both need so greatly1 and which it is impossible for them to have1 encumbered by their household duties and cares1 which must be taken with them if they move their servants and children en masse to some seaside place for ,august and ,september4 ,very young children1 if proper nurses and superintendents are found for them1 do not require the companionship we shall not be able to give them later on if we wear ourselves out in their service when they are very small4 ,by this ,i do not naturally mean that children should be neglected or left entirely to the mercy of hirelings4 ,far be it from me to suggest anything so dreadful2 but ,i do maintain that for six weeks of the year they would be quite as well at the seaside without their parents as they would be with them1 more especially if the cottage they are sent to is well known and the people who keep it are acquaintances1 while of course both the lady superintendent and the nurses should not be new1 but should be thoroughly tested by some amount of service before they are trusted4 ,it is better1 should we determine to send the children away as ,i have suggested1 to pay so much per head for all the board and lodging expenses combined4 ,no servant1 and indeed very few governesses1 can be trusted to #8housekeep4' ,i cannot tell why1 but the moment they are allowed to order the food and make purchases for the household1 they all become most wildly extravagant1 and have no more notion of managing than they have of flying4 ,they may1 of course1 have the truly ,british notion that holiday-making and over-eating must go hand-in-hand1 and proceed to demonstrate this by the exorbitant demands made upon one's purse4 ,anyhow1 whatever the reason1 it is an axiom that housekeeping cannot be trusted to either1 and that we should make arrangements for board as well as lodging unless we wish to be fairly appalled by the weekly bills4 ,as an illustration1 ,i may mention that the only time ,i sent my children to the sea with the governess1 allowing her to cater for them all1 the bills she sent me home for herself1 the ,german maid and three children1 were exactly treble what ,i paid for ourselves and the same number of children and six servants1 and that she did not consider it improper to give #fs4 for a chicken and #hs4 for a pound of grapes4 ,from this my readers will perceive that ,i am warning them out of my own experience4 ,and this governess1 moreover1 was an elderly woman who had lived with us a great many years1 and really had in some measure our interest at heart4 ,therefore ,i am convinced neither governess nor servants can make good managers2 they are always provided for as far as food is concerned2 they never have to provide1 and therefore know nothing about it4 ,i think1 once we have discovered a spot that really suits the children1 it is best to keep to that1 as children simply require good sands and good air1 and do not trouble themselves about scenery4 ,deal is absolutely delightful as regards air1 but the beach is unsafe and pebbly1 and has no sand2 ,margate is quite perfect2 so is ,westgate2 while ,swanage in spring leaves nothing to be desired except for children who require bracing air2 then ,swanage is not for one moment to be compared to either of the places ,i have named1 which are also near enough to town for the parents to run down and see the children should they wish to do so1 and1 indeed1 as they ought to do1 to learn how they are getting on4 ,personally ,i know nothing of the east coast1 but ,i believe there are plenty of little places about there where the children would be happy1 well1 and safe2 and ,i should recommend anyone before finally choosing the summer home of the children to make an exhaustive survey of the ,english coast1 and1 having found one place which will suit1 then to stick to that until the children are twelve years old4 ,then one would have to begin to alter one's plans a little1 more especially if the boys go to school and are only at home in the holidays2 then the children and parents must go out together1 else they will never meet1 and will grow up like strangers to each other4 ,during the minority1 so to speak1 of the children1 the parents would be wise to spend their holidays in learning which would be the nicest places to take the children to when they are beginning to grow up2 they should make and keep notes of excursions1 advantages1 prices1 and houses1 and should be able to refer to them in a moment1 when they have to decide on the place where they are to spend their holiday in2 they must not trust to their memory1 the best of memories will not retain the names of the house agents1 the position of the different streets1 and the aspect of the different houses1 while the notes would be always there to refer to1 and would be of immense service to them in more ways than one4 ,now1 having made up their minds to the change1 it is absolutely necessary that a house1 not rooms1 should be taken1 if anyone is to enjoy the holiday at all4 ,there can be no freedom and very little enjoyment1 and there is great risk of infection at the seaside unless the house is shared by someone we may happen to know1 if we take only a part of a house4 ,we may have a fidgety mortal who sends up twenty times a day to ask our children to be quiet1 or we may have a screaming1 badly managed baby near us1 a piano which plays just when we don't want it to play1 or we may meet on the stairs a convalescent from some childish complaint1 who may hand it on to our children1 and bring our holiday to an abrupt conclusion with measles or whooping-cough4 ,then there are always the landlady1 the larder difficulties1 and the horrors of being waited on by strange servants1 generally most inferior ones1 and always those who cannot and do not understand our ways4 ,therefore ,i maintain that a house is a sine qu non1 and that if we cannot afford to take one and go away comfortably we had better remain at home2 if we leave we may get fresher air1 we shall have the necessary change1 but the change will be for the worse1 and the good the fresher air may do will be more than outbalanced by the continual rasping worry of arranging1 and very likely battling with the servants1 who resent the landlady's interference1 and won't do any more work than they can help1 under the mistaken idea that the house-servants are to wait on them1 and in the endless worries caused by the disappearance of one's food1 and the disagreeable feeling that everything one touches has probably been well #8pawed over' by the lodging-house maid1 if not by the mistress herself4 ,if1 therefore1 as ,i remarked before1 we cannot afford to go away comfortably we had better remain at home1 going away in detachments if the doctor thinks that the weaker members must have sea air2 in that case visits can always be managed1 for everyone almost has relations or friends in the country1 or knows of some nice family who will take in a stray child or two and #8do for them' with their own2 while if the boys are away at school1 they are quite satisfied to return to their own haunts1 while no end of excursions can be made from ,london and in and round ,london1 which is1 it must be confessed1 just a little hot in ,august1 and smells just a little of over-ripe fruit and dead cabbage leaves1 but is positively delightful in ,september with its soft skies and its wonderful effects of cloud and sunshine1 and which has always something amusing to show those who really appreciate the most delightful and picturesque city in the whole world4 ,i love my ,london1 even in ,august1 when the parks are empty of fashionable people1 but full of the most beautiful flowers and palms1 which only those who remain in town in that unfashionable month ever see at their prime2 and despite the heat and the odours in the streets1 ,i would rather be in ,london than in a cramped lodging at the sea1 where ,i was inundated with children1 worried by bad service1 and had none of my own belongings about me2 and1 in fact1 had not time to read or sit alone to enjoy myself in the peace and quiet that are absolutely necessary to make a holiday even endurable4 ,i hope my readers will not think ,i am writing of what ,i do not know when ,i say that ,london in ,august and ,september is quite as beautiful and entrancing as it is in the heart of the season4 ,i have been for the last seven years constantly in the beloved city in those unfashionable months1 and ,i unreservedly advise anyone in want of a real change to go up to town then4 ,they will learn and see more then than at any other time2 they will not be hurried2 they will be able to see everything quietly1 and will really see what they never can when the roads are crammed with carriages and the streets with people--i4e4 how beautiful ,london is1 and how many things she possesses we never dream of when we are simply rushing from occupation to amusement1 and are only thinking of our work or pleasure4 ,however1 as ,i cannot expect all to believe me1 or to share my enthusiasm for the streets and chimney-pots that ,i adore1 ,i will simply now advise my readers how to proceed once they have made up their minds to go away4 ,if possible they should let their own house2 if not1 they should endeavour always to keep to the same caretaker who should1 if possible1 be married to a policeman and have a dog1 but no children2 the furniture should be covered over1 and #8put to bed' by the upholsterer1 who understands how to prepare for possible moth and damp1 and who will not make an exorbitant charge for what will1 as a rule1 prevent most of the things from being spoiled4 ,fires should be ordered1 no matter what the weather may be1 in rotation all through the house1 for one that is uninhabited1 and in which very little gas1 if any1 will be burned1 always becomes damp in our climate2 while it would be wise to have the gas cut off at the meter entirely4 ,we should save a great deal of waste2 and as caretakers are used to lamps in their own abodes1 we should run no risk of fire1 not as much as we do when we leave the gas for the use of those who often enough have never had any control over it on their own account1 and so have not learned how to save it or even use it4 ,no valuables should be left in the house2 all should be sent to the bank2 and we should naturally take our plate with us for use4 ,but1 having taken our house by the sea1 we should in some measure know what it wants1 and we should invariably have ornaments1 photographs1 c41 to take with us to brighten up the house and to make it home-like2 while the children must take their story-books1 work1 and playthings4 ,we must1 in fact1 prepare in every way we can for a rainy day2 rain must fall1 and if the children have their books and toys1 and their own rooms1 they will be as happy1 and be no more of a nuisance by the sea than they are at home2 at least1 if they are1 it will be the fault of the parents and not of the unfortunate children themselves4 ,i have always had three very large wicker baskets set apart for using at similar crises of our existence4 ,one holds the household linen1 another the nursery and schoolroom toys and books1 and the third is set apart for loose cretonne covers1 serge table-cloths1 and any amount of photographs and ornaments to render the temporary house home-like2 for even if ,i find my new domicile replete with ornaments1 ,i always put them all away at once4 ,ornaments are always priceless when the reckoning comes to be taken2 they can't possibly be harmed if they retired into a cupboard the moment we arrived1 and only emerged from their seclusion the day we leave4 ,if the china and glass in a house are really expensive and good1 ,i also put them all away1 and ,i purchase for our own use the very cheapest ware ,i can find4 ,china and glass are so very cheap nowadays1 that it is far better to do this than be made to pay fabulous sums for the owner's china1 which seems to one so hideous1 and is only costly because in these artistic days of ours it is impossible to match it4 ,the contents of my basket soon make even a hideous room much better2 while one feels that one need not always be on the look-out1 as one must be to protect another person's property if one does not take these precautions2 but1 as a rule1 furnished houses are so absolutely unfurnished and ugly1 ,i am thankful to cover up what ,i find1 and so in some measure mitigate the horrors of my surroundings1 by putting about as many of my own belongings as ,i can take with me4 ,we also1 when we go away1 always put at the top of each separate person's box that individual's own sheets1 pillow-cases1 and eider-down quilt2 and ,i never go away without some spare pillows1 and any amount of cushions4 ,this sounds luxurious2 but why should we be uncomfortable because we are not at home8 ,on the contrary1 because we are not we ought to take more care than ever that all shall be as nice as we can make it2 while1 the sheets and pillow-cases being ready1 the servants have no trouble in settling in the first evening4 ,they open the boxes and make the beds at once1 with sheets we know are aired2 and therefore1 even in the confusion that is generally apparent at these times1 we have no risk of spending our first night between damp sheets4 ,another thing we should provide ourselves with is a hamper of groceries1 and1 if we are to arrive late1 with sufficient cooked food to supply the establishment for the night and next morning4 ,each servant should be told off to certain duties1 and no hurry or confusion should be allowed4 ,all1 except one box in which to put the last things1 should be locked and strapped the night before1 and the luggage should be at the station in good time2 the tickets should all be procured2 or at least ordered1 the day before2 and if these simple precautions are taken the journey need be hardly any trouble at all4 ,it must be some1 but nothing to speak of1 when the servants know their work1 are ready in advance1 and are not allowed to forget anything1 not even the harmless necessary cat4 ,now a few words about the animals3 and let me beg anyone who has cats and dogs to take these poor things with them4 ,we always do2 the dogs go with the horses1 the cats with the servants1 and they never attempt to stray4 ,they are absolutely and abjectly miserable if we leave them at home1 even with a caretaker2 while they cost nothing to take1 and are happy with us1 just as1 in fact1 they are at home4 ,i have nothing to say about or to those people who are wicked enough to #8stray' their cats1 or leave them shut out in the garden1 to forage for themselves4 ,they must be such cruel wretches1 that ,i hope they may not even read this book2 but many people1 possessed of the kindest hearts have no compunction in leaving their cats to caretakers1 little understanding how these poor things pine for the human companionship to which they are accustomed1 and after which they long pitifully4 ,now a cat costs nothing1 a dog very little1 to take2 so ,i do hope all who can will consider if their holiday cannot be shared by their dumb friends4 ,i am sure they will never regret it if they make up their minds to take them with them4 ,when once settled in the temporary house1 all should be found out that there is to be found out about the points of interest in the neighbourhood1 and all these should be visited2 as a rule1 a local guide-book is very little real use2 but one should always be obtained and studied in connection with the county history4 ,one's holiday is a thousand times more profitable and pleasant if we see all there is to be seen1 and do not waste our time listening to an inferior band1 or hanging about on the pier1 wearing smart clothes1 which are entirely out of place by the sea4 ,indeed1 blue serge should be the only wear1 as far as young people are concerned1 with flannels for boys4 ,i remember how wretched we used to be over our light print and muslin frocks2 in consequence of which ,i have always taken care our children should never have anything that they had to think about on the shore4 ,half our pleasure used to be spoiled by the idea that we should have to pay for it by being scolded by our governess for the sandy1 wet garments1 inseparable from any real play by the fascinating sea4 ,now1 with the high india-rubber boots we buy at ,scarborough1 and serge skirts1 and under-drawers of serge1 no girl can possibly harm1 paddle how she may2 while the same high boots and serge or flannel suits make the boys quite happy4 ,the boots protect the feet from possible cuts1 and do away with any hygienic difficulties2 many people refusing to allow their children to paddle because feet should not be wet if the heads cannot be wet too2 the feet do not get wet in these high boots1 and therefore1 provided with them1 the last objection to paddling is quite done away with2 and without paddling1 what is the seashore8 ,very little to the children1 who cannot have too much of this most delightful amusement4 ,the sea is the best holiday companion one can have4 ,i therefore most strongly advise all who are bent on a holiday for the children to take them to the sea and not to the inland country2 where1 if it be wet1 mud keeps them prisoners1 whereas by the sea rain dries up at once1 and there is always something to look at2 for1 of course1 the ideal holiday house faces the sea1 and has a good view of whatever is going on4 ,and now1 having said all ,i can about the children's holiday1 let me add just a few words about sharing the holiday1 if in any way possible1 with some child or someone who cannot afford to go away at all1 unless a friendly invitation manages this for them4 ,i have written very little about charities in this book1 but ,i could have set down much on the subject1 and ,i may say that the truest of all charities is that which quietly and unostentatiously helps that most unfortunate1 most deserving of all classes--the poor lady or gentleman1 who is too well-born to be assisted with money1 but who requires help a thousand times more than the very1 very poor to whom one can give a few shillings4 ,no one ever thinks of the over-worked1 underpaid curate or the orphan child4 ,we could1 when we take our house for the holidays1 surely reserve a corner for them4 ,they are pleasant visitors1 and we shall have the delightful feeling that while our children have been gaining strength we have helped others to do the same4 ,most people contrive to have visitors while they are away2 let them be those who would not have gone away at all had we not asked them to come to us while we are at the sea4 ,they can generally manage the railway fare1 while of course we can judiciously contrive that they are not forced into any expense for excursions if we take them2 we can easily manage this if we have the smallest tact1 while of course we must not affront them by boldly offering to pay their fare1 but if we are accustomed to go first-class1 and yet know third-class would suit our friend's pocket better1 we can all go third boldly2 it will not hurt us one bit1 and it will save them from the unpleasantness of spending more than they can afford1 or of being paid for by us1 which would be terrible for them4 ,there is still another holiday of which ,i wish to speak1 and then ,i shall lay down my pen and close my book1 and that is the yearly honeymoon-holiday all husbands and wives should try and manage to take together4 ,nothing so keeps up the bond of affection between them as this1 particularly when both are busy people and see nothing at all of each other during the day1 and are often too tired in the evening to speak at all except on the most necessary subjects2 and even if they are not tired there are always the boys and girls about1 once they have begun to grow up1 and there is no time they can call their own--none in which they can talk as they used to do--none in which they can discuss the children's future or talk about their own plans and hopes and wishes4 ,of course ,i am told many husbands and wives are only too thankful to be spared the chance of a tte--tte that must be nothing save a bore4 ,i maintain that this is not in the least degree true2 that those who have been married many years have far more in common1 far more to say to each other1 than the young folks just starting on life's journey can possibly have to say1 and that the yearly holiday taken together does more to make the domestic car move along gracefully and lightly than anything else ,i know4 ,the wife is relieved from the unceasing ordering of the dinner and planning of everything1 while the husband once more finds himself responsible for all the little details1 and delights once again to have his wife to himself and to look after and wait upon as in the days of old2 while the children are safe at their lessons or looking after the house in their absence2 and once more there is a real holiday feeling in the air1 and they can fancy themselves young and starting on life's journey hand-in-hand over again4 ,there is nothing so amusing to me as the discovery that grown-up daughters and sons have no idea that their father and mother can really want to be alone together1 or that they can possibly prefer each other's society to that of their friends or their own children4 ,but1 my dear young people1 it is the case2 and though of course your parents are always delighted to have you with them1 they do occasionally wish to be alone together4 ,the yearly holiday allows for that1 as does an occasional holiday together during the year2 and these holidays should never be forgotten or omitted4 ,they should be kept up vigorously1 and no blandishments from our children should be allowed to break in upon the solitude deux--the honeymoon-holiday should be taken together or not at all4 ,and now1 reluctantly and regretfully1 ,i must say farewell to those with whom ,i have conversed so long in these pages4 ,i feel this book has not the light-hearted gaiety with which ,angelina and ,edwin plan out their newly-married life1 and with which they start out to furnish their little home1 in #8,from ,kitchen to ,garret2' but if ,i am more serious here it is because life grows more serious as one grows older1 as one realises how much there is to do and how difficult it is to steer the bark freighted with one's growing-up children1 and with more money to be spent judiciously1 a larger house to be managed1 so that we may do as much good as we possibly can1 so that it may give as much happiness to as many as can be managed1 and in some measure so exist as to leave the world immediately within its influence just a little bit better than we found it4 ,we must realise1 wherever we are1 that we influence someone1 perhaps very many people1 either for good or for evil4 ,it is no use to bury our heads in the sand1 and pretend that no one need be influenced by us unless they like1 and that it is not our fault if they are4 ,it is our fault1 and we cannot get rid of our responsibility in this way2 while if we boldly accept our fate1 and do our duty manfully1 we shall have our reward1 more especially if we endeavour not to know the #8best' people because we crave for social exaltation1 and to mix with those who resent our intrusion and laugh at our pretensions1 but to associate with those whose noble minds and good thoughts and bright intellects will help our own1 and assist us on our mental progress through the world2 and to have as friends1 not those who can give us dinner for dinner1 ball for ball1 but those to whom we can give pleasure they would never have did we refuse to open our doors to them1 and to those whose large hearts and brilliant minds influence ours for good1 and lead us insensibly along a path of peace and safety4 ,the truest socialism should begin in the perfect home2 the socialism which shares or administers but does not disperse or destroy2 the socialism which opens the park gates to the poor1 or the picture-galleries to those who could never see anything were it not for the action of the owner1 that never receives a benefit without in some measure sharing it with a poorer brother1 and that finally has a noble end in life2 nay1 the noblest of all1 that of leaving the world a little better for one's having lived and loved and worked and suffered in it4 ,by these rules should the home be formed2 in these paths should the children be led1 who should never be allowed for one moment to despise those they may consider below them in the social scale2 who should always be taught to share their flowers1 their shells1 their holidays and pleasures with others2 and who should one and all be brought up to do something in life1 something to assist the toiling millions around us1 something to do good to someone besides themselves4 ,of course this is hard and anxious work2 work1 could we have realised it was before us when we so lightly accepted our fate1 and laid together the foundations of a new home1 we might never have found courage to take up2 but it is the work set before every married man and woman in the world4 ,they can either accept it or reject it2 but if they do leave it alone1 the undone work will bring its own punishment in the unhappy wicked children1 and the wrecked and miserable home that will take the place of that which might have been the home which is the rule1 not the exception1 in ,england1 and that we can all have if we have powers of endless work in us1 and realise from others' experience what is before us all4 ,then1 when the curtain falls1 when the hands part which have held each other so fondly1 so faithfully1 all through the journey1 the worst parts of which have been gilded by the unfailing love which is ,god's best gift1 the one who goes can go boldly into the darkness1 content to leave all to that ,higher ,power who has helped them so gallantly all through the struggle1 while the one who stays knows that the link still binds them together1 and will draw them some day back to each other again4 ,when love can do this1 when love can build1 maintain1 and keep our homes together1 as love does1 and as only love can1 who shall dare to sneer and laugh at it1 and looking at such homes dare ask sarcastically if marriage be a failure8 ,marriage never is1 never can be1 a failure1 if the home is a true home1 not an abode of vanity1 an entertaining house1 for gaiety and waste2 and it is to help others just a little more from my own experience of the happiest of all homes--my own--that ,i have written this other book about the household and all that appertains to it1 which ,i now leave to my good friends and readers1 content to feel that they will read me kindly1 knowing of old how kind they can be to one who has said as much to them on this all-fascinating subject as ,i have4 ,,printed ,,by ,,spottiswoode ,,and ,,co41 ,,new-,,street ,,square ,,london4 ,,addresses ,messrs4 ,,smee ,,cobay1 ,finsbury ,pavement1 ,e4,c4 ,messrs4 ,,wallace ,,co41 #aea ,curtain ,road1 ,e4,c4 ,messrs4 ,e4 ,e4 ,,pither ,,co41 #ch ,mortimer ,street1 ,e4,c4 ,messrs4 ,,kay ,,sons1 ,burnley ,mills1 ,burnley1 ,lancashire4 ,messrs4 ,,jackson ,,sons1 #aii ,high ,street1 ,borough1 ,s4,e4 ,messrs4 ,,haines ,,co41 #hc ,queen ,victoria ,street1 ,e4,c4 ,messrs4 ,,land ,,co41 #ib ,cannon ,street1 ,e4,c4 ,messrs4 ,,essex ,,co41 ,albert ,mansions1 ,victoria ,street1 ,s4,w4 ,messrs4 ,,oetzmann ,,co41 ,hampstead ,road1 ,n4,w4 ,,maison ,,helbronner1 #cjj ,oxford ,street1 ,w4 ,messrs4 ,,graham ,,biddle1 ,graham ,house1 ,oxford ,street1 ,w4 ,messrs4 ,,colbourne ,,co41 #hb ,regent ,street1 ,w4 ,messrs4 ,b4 ,,burnet ,,co41 ,king ,street1 ,covent ,garden1 ,w4,c4 ,messrs4 ,,burr ,,elliott1 ,oxford ,street1 ,w4 ,g4 ,,faulkner ,,armitage1 ,esq41 ,stamford ,house1 ,altrincham1 ,cheshire4 ,,the ,,edinburgh ,,life ,,assurance ,,company1 #aa ,king ,william ,street1 ,e4,c4 ,messrs4 ,,giles ,,co41 #ai ,old ,cavendish ,street1 ,w4 ,messrs4 ,,hoskyns ,,co41 ,ben ,trovato ,red ,works1 ,darlington1 ,durham4 ,mrs4 ,m',,clelland1 #cc ,warwick ,road1 ,maida ,hill1 ,w4 ,mr4 ,,thomas1 ,decorator1 ,bowdon1 ,cheshire4 ,typographical errors corrected by the etext transcriber3 hundreds of unformed units hundreds of uniformed units pg #aad and1 as they as generally shrink in the was and1 as they generally shrink in the was pg #adg allowing great familarity allowing great familiarity pg #afg they are fourteen and and not a day before they are fourteen and not a day before pg #agi