,,etiquette ,,made ,,easy ,made ,easy ,series ,,etiquette ,,made ,,easy ,,by ,,edward ,,summers ,,squier1 ,m4 ,a4 ,illustration ,,new ,,york ,,edward ,j4 ,,clode ,,copyright1 #aiai1 ,,by ,,edward ,j4 ,,clode ,all rights reserved ,entered at ,stationers' ,hall ,,printed ,,in ,,the ,,united ,,states ,,of ,,america ,,preface ,,the ,,politest ,,man of whom history has record was a ,norwegian4 ,a stranger in a town of ,norway asked a passing native the way to a certain address4 ,the native raised his hat1 bowed1 and said3 8,sir1 ,i am very sorry1 but ,i do not know40 ,the stranger passed on4 ,a few minutes later1 he heard the sound of some one running behind him4 ,he faced about1 and recognized the native1 who came1 halted1 and after a few deep breaths1 said1 while bowing with uplifted hat3 8,sir1 after leaving you1 ,i met my brother-in-law1 and ,i regret to tell you1 ,sir1 that he also does not know40 ,in spite of this story with its ,norwegian hero1 first place is usually given to the ,french in matters of politeness4 ,there is an old story that illustrates with remarkable precision the national traits of ,french1 ,english and ,german4 ,this has to do with the manner of lighting a cigar4 ,the ,frenchman strikes a match1 offers the flame to his companions1 then makes a light for himself4 ,the ,englishman lights his own cigar first1 and then offers the match to his companions4 ,the ,german lights his own cigar1 then throws the match away4 ,the brief recital contains something deeper than mere humor in its analysis of national characteristics4 ,the consideration of the ,frenchman for others is indeed the essential basis for all true courtesy4 ,genuine politeness has its root always in a very real regard for the feelings of others4 ,the ancient proverb declares that cleanliness is next to godliness4 ,in fact1 so far as concerns casual associations1 cleanliness is the more important4 ,we have ordinarily nothing to do with the morals of those whom we encounter for a few fugitive moments1 but the most fleeting companionship with a dirty person is offensive1 while a perfect cleanliness is always pleasing in its effect4 ,as a matter of fundamental courtesy toward others1 we are required to keep ourselves clean4 ,such cleanliness may be excellent as a hygienic measure1 but one most eminent physician has declared that bathing is not essential to health1 and he offers in proof of his assertion the great number of old persons there are in the world4 ,but those aged unwashed would be repulsive in refined society4 ,their condition would distress others4 ,quite involuntarily1 they would thus be guilty of discourtesy4 ,the principle of consideration for others that exalts cleanliness as a virtue is the principle that actually fashions all the essential forms of politeness4 ,at a decent dinner-table1 one must not smack his lips1 or make loud noises in taking soup from the spoon1 for the simple reason that such behavior will annoy others4 ,often1 a sympathetic person1 absolutely untaught in the niceties of etiquette1 will do the right thing by a natural instinct of kindliness1 where another individual of polite breeding will do the wrong from sheer lack of that fellow-feeling which gives understanding4 ,nevertheless1 while the noblest courtesy must spring always from the heart1 common convenience has settled on definite methods of deportment for various occasions4 ,ignorance of these details as to proper conduct is not a matter to be contemned1 but one to be regretted1 because a person thus ignorant1 no matter how kindly his intention1 must often disturb others by failure to do the expected thing in the expected way4 ,in other words1 he lacks knowledge of what are termed the proprieties4 ,it is with the intention of offering assistance to those finding themselves in doubt as to the niceties of deportment that this book has been prepared4 ,it is arranged with the contents in alphabetical order1 so that the topics are self-indexed4 ,in addition to the bulk of information set forth in the following pages1 there needs only one direction of importance4 ,this is based on the ancient saying3 8,when in ,rome1 do as the ,romans do40 ,practically every community has its local customs1 and these are always to be respected4 ,there is nothing more snobbish than criticism by a stranger of social forms that are well established4 ,it is always his duty to respect them and to observe them4 ,otherwise1 he displays that lack of consideration for others which is the root of all rudeness4 ,one sympathetically disposed toward his fellows who avails himself of the information in this book may rest confident in the assurance that he is indeed the possessor of good manners4 ,,contents ,,page ,,at ,,homes #ac ,,bachelor ,,hosts #bc ,,balls #bf ,,breakfasts #ca ,,calls #cd ,,cards #de ,,dinners #fa ,,garden-,,parties #gj ,,house-,,parties #ge ,,introductions #hd ,,letters #ie ,,luncheons #ajc ,,mourning #ajf ,,musicales #aac ,,opera #aag ,,private ,,theatricals #aba ,,receptions #abb ,,smoking #abc ,,stairs #abd ,,street ,,etiquette #abe ,,table ,,manners #abh ,,teas #acc ,,theater-,,parties #acd ,,weddings #ada ,etiquette ,made ,easy ,,at ,,homes ,,the ,,afternoon ,,tea is perhaps the most popular of social functions1 and deservedly so1 since it is essentially of the utmost simplicity1 yet may be expanded into a most elaborate social affair4 ,in the original simple form1 the hostess merely welcomes her guests as they come to her on her regular day at home1 in the drawing-room1 and there offers them a cup of tea served by herself and light refreshments of sandwiches and cakes and the like4 ,the next development in the tea is in the nature of a small afternoon reception1 or at home4 ,for this occasion1 the hostess issues invitations a week in advance4 ,a visiting-card serves the purpose1 with a line written below the name3 ,wednesday1 ,june fourth from four until seven o'clock ,if there is to be a guest of honor1 an additional line may indicate the fact3 ,to meet444444444444444444444444 ,the procedure for the hostess at a function of this sort is more formal4 ,it is usual to have the refreshments in the dining-room1 though they should not be of an elaborate character4 ,the teapot is placed at one end of the table1 and presided over by some friend1 since the obligations of the hostess prevent her rendering this hospitable service in person4 ,the third stage of the afternoon tea has come to take the place of the old-time reception1 though it bears merely the designation 8,at ,home40 ,the requisite invitations must be sent out any time from a week to a fortnight before the date set4 ,for these1 an engraved form is essential4 ,they are printed on heavy white bristol board1 of the quality described for dinner-invitations1 and inclosed in a single envelope4 ,they may be issued in the name of the hostess alone1 or in the names of a hostess and her daughter or daughters1 or in the names of husband and wife--though this last is a very modern innovation4 ,the following will serve as a model3 ,mrs4 ,james ,french ,putnam ,at ,home ,april the seventh ,from four until seven o'clock #bjh ,flagg ,avenue ,if the husband joins with the wife in issuing the invitations1 the only change is in the first line3 ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,james ,french ,putnam ,where a daughter is to receive with her mother1 the girl's name appears just below that of the matron3 ,mrs4 ,james ,french ,putnam ,miss ,putnam ,where there are two or more daughters thus associated with the mother1 they are included under one title4 ,thus3 ,mrs4 ,james ,french ,putnam ,the ,misses ,putnam ,when a younger sister is to appear at her dbut1 her name in full is given a line after those of her mother and elder sister3 ,mrs4 ,james ,french ,putnam ,miss ,putnam ,miss ,helen ,louise ,putnam ,in the event of a guest of honor1 the invitation may emphasize the presence of this personage by a special engraved announcement at the head of the invitation3 ,to meet 44444444444444444444444444444444444444 ,the remainder of the invitation will follow any of the forms indicated above4 ,or the announcement may appear in one engraved line at the foot of the invitation3 ,to meet44444444444444444444444444444444 ,at a reception of this character1 the hostess is obliged to remain on duty near the door of the drawing-room throughout the hours set4 ,but a husband or daughter receiving with her1 though expected to join her in receiving the guests at the outset and for a considerable time afterward1 is not so rigidly held to the one place1 but after a time may properly move about among the guests with hospitable intent4 ,but a dbutante must remain at the post of duty with her mother throughout the whole time4 ,in recent years1 there has developed a pleasant custom by which the dbutante invites a number of her young friends to join her in receiving the other guests4 ,it is usual to entertain these at dinner after the reception4 ,the refreshments for an occasion of this sort are served in the dining-room with servants in attendance4 ,tea is poured at one end of the table1 and perhaps chocolate at the other1 while a bowl of punch is commonly at hand4 ,the refreshments are of the buffet variety1 but they may be as rich and varied as the hostess chooses4 ,at such functions in the city1 it is usual to lay a strip of carpet from the house door to the curb1 and an awning raised over this offers protection to the guests in inclement weather4 ,where the list of guests is long1 a liveried servant at the curb not only opens the doors of the motors1 but also issues checks by which the cars may be summoned for the departure of the guests4 ,a butler opens the house door as the guest approaches1 and gives directions as to the dressing-rooms4 ,another liveried servant at the door of the drawing-room announces each guest by name to the hostess4 ,at such affairs1 both hostess and women guests wear what is properly termed a reception-gown--that is to say1 one of elegance and richness1 with a train if the prevailing mode permits1 but not decollet or sleeveless4 ,hats of a character harmonious with the gown are worn throughout the function1 as are gloves4 ,the men wear black frock coats and gray striped trousers1 with either a black waistcoat or a fancy one according to choice4 ,while he leaves his coat and hat in the dressing-room at such formal affairs1 a man retains his gloves1 either keeping the left glove on the hand1 and carrying the other1 or carrying both4 ,the right hand must be bare4 ,each woman guest leaves on a tray provided for that purpose in the hall a card for her hostess and one for each of any other women receiving4 ,she may also leave similarly the cards of any other woman member of her family who has been invited1 but does not attend4 ,the man leaves a card for his host if there is one1 in addition to those for the ladies4 ,no reply is necessary from one invited to such a reception1 either of acceptance or of refusal4 ,the presence of the guests is deemed a sufficient answer4 ,in the event of non-attendance1 the guest must be at pains to send cards1 and these should be so timed in the sending that they will reach their address on the day of the at home1 preferably in the afternoon4 ,at crowded affairs1 the guest displays good manners as well as good sense by making the stay short4 ,twenty minutes is a sufficient time1 and departure should not be delayed much beyond a half-hour4 ,it is better not to say farewell to the hostess1 unless the going should be at a time when few guests remain1 and she is obviously at leisure4 ,the punctilious guest will make a point of arriving neither too early nor too late4 ,between half-past four and six is recommended4 ,the formal evening reception is less popular than in former days1 but it still prevails to a limited extent4 ,the procedure throughout is substantially the same as for that of the afternoon reception4 ,the wording of the invitation is identical1 with the single exception of the time specified4 ,the line that indicated the hours from four until seven o'clock must be changed to read3 ,from nine until eleven o'clock ,or1 it may be properly stated1 if one's taste so dictates3 ,after nine o'clock ,while for the evening reception all other formal details are the same as for an afternoon affair1 the costumes of the guests1 both men and women1 are changed as befits the change in hours4 ,the men are scrupulous in the exactitude of their evening garb--swallow tail1 white linen and white cravat and white waistcoat1 and patent-leather shoes2 while the women array themselves in their handsomest evening gowns1 decollet and sleeveless1 and display the richest of their jewels4 ,,bachelor ,,hosts ,,when ,a ,,bachelor entertains either in the afternoon or evening1 he follows in a general way the procedure indicated for receptions under the heading 8,at ,homes40 ,if the affair is to be elaborate1 he may use engraved invitations4 ,mr4 ,hartley ,fane ,treadwell requests the pleasure of 444444444444444444444444444444444 company on ,wednesday afternoon1 ,november the first ,from four until seven o'clock ,nine ,east ,third ,street ,a word or two at the bottom on the left may indicate any special entertainment1 such as ,music4 ,but there are certain proprieties to be observed that are peculiar to the bachelor4 ,for example1 he is not permitted to use a visiting-card with a line written on it for less formal invitations4 ,instead1 he must write a note in the first person1 or he may give the invitation orally4 ,the invitations should be issued a week or a little less before the appointed time4 ,there is one other requirement of vital importance4 ,the bachelor must always have a chaperon present for any gathering that includes both sexes4 ,and she must be invited by note1 or orally--even in cases where the formal engraved invitations are employed4 ,the chaperon pours tea1 and on occasions when the guests are seated at table1 she is given the place on the host's right1 unless there is a guest of honor1 when she is given the position on his left4 ,the other women guests must take their departure at the same time as the chaperon1 unless they prefer an earlier hour4 ,the presence of the chaperon at such entertainments makes it unnecessary for the unmarried girl to provide one for herself4 ,the chaperon should be a married woman1 and her husband must be included among the invited guests4 ,when a bachelor wishes to issue engraved invitations for a formal dinner-party or luncheon1 he uses the forms provided respectively in the chapters entitled 8,dinners0 and 8,luncheons40 ,the directions as to breakfasts also will be found appropriate in a general way as set forth in the special chapter4 ,a bachelor should always be punctilious in calling on a chaperon shortly after any affair at which she has officiated1 in order to tender his grateful appreciation of her services in his behalf4 ,,balls ,,the ,,invitations for a formal ball are engraved on a sheet similar to that used for dinner-parties4 ,but1 like the dinner-invitations1 they may also be written by the hostess4 ,in sending these invitations by mail only one envelope is used when the invitation is written out4 ,but the engraved form is enclosed first in an unsealed envelope with merely the name of the guest on the cover4 ,this is put in a second envelope1 which is sealed and has both the name and address written on it for posting4 ,an engraved invitation1 however1 when delivered by a messenger requires only a single envelope1 sealed4 ,these invitations must be sent out not less than ten days before the date of the ball1 and they may be issued three weeks before the appointed time4 ,the accepted form may be either of those following3 ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,george ,wheatley request the pleasure of your company on ,wednesday evening1 ,april the second at half-past nine o'clock ,dancing #ga ,hamilton ,place ,mrs4 ,george ,wheatley ,miss ,wheatley ,at ,home ,tuesday1 ,april the ninth at eleven o'clock ,dancing #ga ,hamilton ,place ,it is permissible to write the initials1 ,r4s4v4p4 below the word ,dancing4 ,in place of ,dancing1 the word ,cotillon may appear1 if the whole evening is to be devoted especially to this dance4 ,so1 too1 the words ,bal ,poudr may be substituted for ,dancing1 if the affair is to be a costume ball4 ,or any other form of entertainment may be similarly indicated4 ,the form used in accepting or declining such an invitation follows exactly the wording given in a later chapter in connection with dinner-invitations4 ,it is the duty of the hostess to greet her guests as at a dinner-party1 and a daughter or daughters may assist her in her hospitable duties1 but such assistance is not required of them4 ,the host1 also1 may join his wife in receiving1 and may make himself socially useful by various attentions to the guests4 ,but such action on his part is discretionary1 except that in the case of a woman guest of particular importance1 he should take her in to supper if this is served at tables4 ,where a buffet supper is served1 it is fitting that he should escort various guests from time to time4 ,it is not always necessary to invite mothers or chaperons to a private ball1 and in that case a girl may be sent with a maid to accompany her4 ,when the mother receives an invitation and accepts it1 she may choose not to remain1 but to leave after entrusting her daughter to the care of the hostess1 or some other friend4 ,at elaborate dances1 the supper at midnight is served on small tables1 at which the guests are seated4 ,the buffet supper is popular on account of its convenience1 since the guests select whatever pleases them at any time4 ,unlike the rule as to dinners1 there is no obligation for prompt arrival on the ball guest4 ,likewise1 the guest may leave at any time4 ,it is not necessary to seek the hostess for a farewell1 but if she is near1 she should be addressed with appropriate phrase in appreciation of the hospitality that has been enjoyed4 ,a girl at a ball usually establishes herself in a seat by her chaperon1 to whom she returns according to her convenience after dancing4 ,it is perfectly proper for her1 if at any time she wishes to be rid of a partner1 to ask that he accompany her back to this seat beside her chaperon4 ,evening clothes are essential for the male guest at a ball1 and the wearing of white gloves is obligatory4 ,a careful man is very likely to provide himself with an extra pair4 ,at informal dances1 ungloved men often cover the hand with a handkerchief to avoid any risk of soiling a partner's bodice4 ,if a man serves as escort for a woman1 or for a girl and her chaperon1 it is a part of his duty to provide a carriage to and fro4 ,the ball-dress for women is usually the most elegant their taste and means will contrive4 ,it is always decollet1 and commonly sleeveless4 ,,breakfasts ,a ,,hostess ,,may ,,use her visiting-card for invitations to breakfast1 simply writing on it below her name3 ,breakfast at eleven o'clock ,april the fourth ,a more formal affair may have an engraved invitation on paper similar to that used in the case of dinners4 ,this would have the following form3 ,mrs4 ,george ,vinton ,thorne requests the pleasure of 44444444444444444444444444444444 company at breakfast on444444444444444444444444444444444444 at44444444444444444444444444444o'clock ,eleven ,green ,street ,or the hostess may1 if she prefers1 write a brief note of invitation in the first person4 ,whatever form is employed1 the invitations should be sent out a full week1 or a little more1 before the date set for the breakfast4 ,the answer to such an invitation should be sent promptly1 whether in acceptance or in refusal4 ,the form is identical with that for dinner-invitations1 except that the word breakfast is substituted for the word dinner4 ,where the invitation is a note written in the first person1 the answer must follow the same style4 ,a breakfast of the more informal sort1 with no more than eight or ten guests1 may begin as early as ten o'clock1 but a later hour is preferred for very ceremonious affairs1 with noon most esteemed as the hour4 ,grapefruit is usually served1 with finger-bowl accompaniment1 and the meal that follows may be as simple or as elaborate as the taste and resources of the hostess dictate4 ,usually both sexes are included among the guests at a breakfast4 ,the women remove their gloves after taking their places at table1 but not their hats4 ,veils may be removed entirely or pushed up out of the way1 according to the wearer's choice4 ,the guest should remain at least a half-hour after the conclusion of the meal1 but not longer than an hour unless justified by exceptional circumstances4 ,frock or cutaway coats are worn by the men1 and afternoon dress by the women4 ,the costumes for a ten o'clock breakfast should be somewhat plainer than for one at the more formal hour of noon4 ,,calls ,,formal ,,calls are to be made in the afternoon between three o'clock and half-past five4 ,if a hostess has a day at home1 formal calls on her should be made on that day4 ,it is well also so to time visits for congratulation or to return thanks for any hospitality1 or the like1 as to have them also fall on the day at home4 ,usually1 a due attention by visitors to this set time for calling is appreciated by a hostess4 ,while the formal hours for calls are in the afternoon as indicated above1 the time varies in different neighborhoods4 ,evening calls are common in the country necessarily as a matter of convenience4 ,and1 while in the city women pay no formal calls on ,sunday1 these are permitted in smaller places4 ,ordinarily1 too1 there is license in the country as to the length even of formal calls1 which may be extended without impropriety far beyond the limit of fifteen or twenty minutes which is well established in the city4 ,a new resident or visitor in any community should be at pains to get information as to the local usage1 and conform to it in all details4 ,it is permissible for men in our country to make social calls in the afternoon on ,sunday1 or in the evening4 ,the exigencies of business are the excuse for the departure from the stricter form1 which still holds in the case of women4 ,the hour of such evening calls in the larger cities is from eight to nine1 but the time is earlier in smaller towns and in the country4 ,in every instance1 the local custom is to be followed4 ,of course1 too1 men of leisure may pay their calls in the afternoon4 ,new residents in a neighborhood must await calls from those already established there4 ,in the city1 the first calls of the social season should be received by the hostess who first sends out her at-home cards4 ,where women have met out of town1 and wish to continue the acquaintance in the city1 the unmarried woman should call on the matron1 or one who is under any obligation for hospitality should make the first call4 ,unless a distinction be drawn for some such reason1 either may properly pay the first visit4 ,it is notorious that in the large cities there is no welcome for the newcomer from the dweller next door or across the street4 ,the conditions of city life justify such aloofness4 ,on the other hand1 the conditions of life in the smaller places warrant exactly the opposite in the matter of hospitality4 ,it is the recognized duty of the older residents to welcome new arrivals by calling on them promptly1 after the strangers have had time to dispose themselves comfortably4 ,there are many varieties of those calls that are imposed by formal courtesy4 ,thus1 in the matter of weddings1 it becomes the duty of any one who has taken official part in the affair1 such as a bride's-maid or a best man1 to call on the mother of the bride within a few days after the marriage ceremony1 and also to call on the bride immediately after her return from the honeymoon trip4 ,the like duty devolves on invited guests to a home wedding1 to a wedding-reception and to a wedding-breakfast4 ,a similar formal call should be paid to the hostess by each guest at a dinner1 or breakfast1 or other special entertainment4 ,such a call must be made within two weeks4 ,the obligation is the same even in cases where the invitation has been declined4 ,as to the returning of calls1 such visits should be made on the day at home if there is one1 and otherwise at a suitable time according to the social usage of the neighborhood within a fortnight4 ,but this ruling applies properly only to the return for a first call4 ,afterward1 a longer or shorter interval may elapse between visits according to the desire of the parties concerned4 ,a former acquaintance may be maintained merely by an annual exchange of calls4 ,it must be noted1 however1 that a call in person demands a personal visit in return4 ,the formal leaving of a card at the door does not suffice4 ,persons giving up their residence in a community or going on a long journey should send their cards to their full visiting-list with the initials ,p4p4c4 7,pour prendre cong1 for leave-taking74 ,it occurs often that a person wishes to call on a friend in the home of a stranger4 ,such a call is permissible1 but the visitor should ask for the hostess as well as the friend1 and leave a card for her4 ,in the matter of initiative1 it is fitting that an elder woman should invite a younger to the exchange of cards and calls1 and that the matron should thus invite the maiden4 ,where there is equality of years or station1 the first advance must depend on the personal inclinations of the parties4 ,the proprieties in reference to calls between women are thus seen to be simple enough4 ,there is more complexity in the procedure when it has to do with the calling of men on women4 ,it is not deemed proper for a young unmarried woman to invite calls from men4 ,such visits on their part are left to the discretion of the mother or chaperon4 ,but1 undoubtedly1 the dbutante will see to it that mother or chaperon does not fail in her functions4 ,as to the older women1 and those married1 there is some variation locally in the polite usage4 ,sometimes the woman feels it her privilege to invite the man to call without awaiting solicitation on his part2 sometimes she requires that the advance should be on the part of the man in the form of a request for permission to visit her4 ,if any person requires that a definite time should be given for the emancipation of a girl from the social dominance of her mother or chaperon1 it may be set at about the twenty-fifth year1 after which time a young woman is theoretically fitted to decide for herself as to who her visitors shall be4 ,a young woman of sensibility will be extremely chary of her invitations to men1 and very sure before extending them that they are really desired4 ,if at any time a man fails to avail himself of such an invitation1 her self-respect will not permit her to repeat it4 ,the strictness of the above rules of conduct has been greatly relaxed in the case of the average ,american girl1 who democratically insists from the outset of her social career on her own choice in the matter of acquaintances and friends4 ,but even this laxity does not permit an invitation to a man on the first meeting4 ,such haste is neither good form nor ordinary prudence4 ,in a consideration of formal calls1 it should be noted that in practise the offices of the wife are commonly accepted in her husband's behalf by her leaving his card when she pays her dinner-call1 or the like4 ,the exigencies of business are supposed to justify this vicarious method4 ,while it is proper for a woman to call upon a man for business reasons1 social calls are forbidden4 ,calls of condolence1 except when there is an intimate friendship1 are properly made by leaving a card4 ,the expression of sympathy is usually best made by a brief note4 ,calls of congratulation may be made by acquaintances of both sexes on a woman who announces her engagement to be married4 ,calls following the announcement of a birth are expected by the mother from the women of her acquaintance4 ,the day at home is such a social convenience that it is popular1 not only in the cities1 but in many smaller towns4 ,it is usually set for one afternoon in the week1 sometimes for an afternoon each two weeks during the social season4 ,the day should appear on the visiting-card4 ,the hours for entertaining on the day at home are from three until six1 but this period is frequently extended for another hour4 ,the hostess should devote herself assiduously to her guests1 and should provide some light forms of food and drink4 ,usually1 tea is served4 ,sufficient notice is given of the day at home by sending out the visiting-cards at the beginning of the season4 ,one advantage of the day at home is that it justifies the hostess in not receiving casual callers on other occasions4 ,it is the duty of the hostess to meet and address each guest with a handshake4 8,how do you do1 ,mrs4 ,smith8 ,i am so glad to see you60 or a similar phrase1 should be used in greeting each arrival4 ,she should also introduce strangers to other guests near by4 ,she should not leave the reception-room to make her farewells to departing guests1 unless in case of some person of particular distinction4 8,good-afternoon1 ,mr4 ,brown4 ,i shall hope to see you again very soon10 or the like1 affords a sufficient form of farewell4 ,if the husband is present during his wife's at home1 he should undertake to second her hospitable efforts to the best of his ability1 showing attention to any requiring it4 ,a woman caller does not remove her gloves or veil1 or even her wrap1 unless it is a heavy one4 ,but rubbers and umbrella and any heavy outer garment should be left in the hall4 ,for a man1 formal politeness permits the carrying of both hat and stick into the drawing-room4 ,but this rule is to-day more honored in the breach than in the observance4 ,and1 too1 the right hand at least is usually ungloved4 ,the hat and stick1 when carried1 are held in the left hand1 and should be retained throughout the call1 though it is permissible to put them down on the floor beside one1 for greater convenience when taking refreshments4 ,when the day at home is of a formal sort1 the women do not exchange kisses in greeting1 and the gloves are not taken off even when tea is drunk4 ,,cards ,,visiting-,,cards are of three sizes1 which remain practically the same year after year4 ,the largest is that used by matrons1 while that of the unmarried woman is a very little smaller1 and that of the man much smaller4 ,the present style as to materials favors a polished bristol board that is white and substantial without being too heavy4 ,this should be printed from an engraved plate in black ink4 ,the lettering may be a running script or old ,english4 ,under no circumstances should a woman's card carry any prefix other than ,mrs4 or ,miss1 but one or the other of these invariably appears4 ,this rule does not apply in the case of professional women who may wish a distinctive card for business purposes1 with its prefix of ,dr4 or ,rev4 ,such a card would also carry the address in the lower right-hand corner and perhaps office-hours in the lower left-hand corner4 ,but even the professional woman requires the plainer form of card for social purposes4 ,there is a tendency at present to give the name in full on the card4 ,for example1 ,mrs4 ,john ,james ,smith1 or ,miss ,maude ,mac,arthur4 ,it is permissible for the senior matron of a family to use only the family name on her card with the prefix3 for example1 ,mrs4 ,fuller4 ,it is more common1 however1 to omit the ,christian name of an eldest daughter who is unmarried3 ,miss ,fuller4 ,the other daughters require the ,christian name on their cards3 ,miss ,mary ,fuller1 ,miss ,gladys ,fuller4 ,the tendency in this country is strongly against the omission of the name in either of the above cases4 ,although it is perfectly correct as a social usage1 it is opposed to the spirit of our institutions4 ,there is some variation in the use of the name on the card in the case of a widow4 ,it is within the woman's choice whether she will continue to use the ,christian name of her husband on the card1 or will put her own in place of it4 ,in other words1 she may use the same cards after the death of her husband as before if she prefers1 or she may follow the ,mrs4 with her own ,christian name4 ,a common form to-day gives the woman's ,christian name and the surname to which she was born and finally the surname of her husband4 ,a present vogue permits also the use of only the two surnames1 without the ,christian name4 ,thus1 ,mary ,brown marries ,james ,robinson4 ,the husband dies and the widow changes her visiting-cards1 which have read1 ,mrs4 ,james ,robinson1 so that they now read1 ,mrs4 ,mary ,robinson4 ,then presently she grows ambitious socially and has her cards changed to read1 ,mrs4 ,mary ,brown ,robinson4 ,soon1 she seizes on a newer style1 and again changes her cards in accordance with it to read1 ,mrs4 ,brown ,robinson4 ,it should be noted that the variations in cards practised by widows are used also by divorced women4 ,and when a divorce resumes her maiden name she properly uses with it the prefix ,mrs41 not ,miss4 ,as a matter of strict propriety1 a girl during her first social season does not formally use an individual card4 ,her name appears below that of her mother in the same lettering4 ,when making calls unaccompanied by her mother1 the latter's name is crossed out with a pencil mark4 ,where two daughters of nearly the same age are concerned1 both are included on the mother's card by the words ,the ,misses1 followed by the family name4 ,the above details are applied especially to a dbutante in the first season4 ,afterward1 a young woman uses her own individual card when calling alone4 ,but this card should not carry on it the day at home4 ,the at-home statement appears on the mother's individual card4 ,it is given also on the card combining the names of mother and daughter4 ,the combination card may with correctness be frequently used in appropriate circumstances until the daughter's marriage4 ,the notice of the day at home is placed in the lower left-hand corner of the card4 ,only the day of the week is given1 or with such qualification as may be required if the at-home day is not of weekly recurrence4 ,the hours should not be specified unless they are a distinct variation from the customary time1 between three and six4 ,in addition1 a time limit to the at homes may be specified4 ,thus1 ,fridays until ,march4 ,of course1 the beginning is set for any individual by reception of the card4 ,a married woman finds frequent use for a card in combination with her husband1 though this by no means takes the place of her individual cards1 and1 while it bears the address in the lower right-hand corner1 does not usually give the at-home day4 ,this card may properly be used for those formal occasions in which her husband is concerned4 ,for example1 it may fittingly accompany a gift from husband and wife4 ,it serves also for announcing a marriage with the residence of the bridal couple4 ,a man's visiting-card always carries the prefix ,mr4 ,the single exception to this is when ,jr4 follows the name4 ,the name is commonly given in full1 but it is permissible to use only the initial of the middle name4 ,it is strictly proper for the male head of a family to use only the family name on his card1 preceded by ,mr4 ,thus1 the head of the ,smiths--could he be located--might use on his visiting-card merely ,mr4 ,smith1 instead of ,mr4 ,john ,smith4 ,the home address appears in the lower right-hand corner of the card1 and a bachelor may add also the name of a club in the lower left-hand corner4 ,the business address1 of course1 should never appear on the card used for social purposes4 ,likewise1 a day at home should not be given by a bachelor even though he may entertain regularly4 ,it is a safe rule to avoid titles on the visiting-cards of men as of women4 ,the only exceptions are in instances little likely to concern the average reader of this book4 ,such instances are afforded by the ,president of the ,united ,states1 the ,vice-,president1 ,ambassadors1 the higher ,judiciary1 ,army and ,navy ,officers1 clergymen and physicians4 ,the custom in the army1 however1 forbids any prefix except plain ,mr4 to an officer below the rank of ,captain4 ,in the case of all officers the nature of his command is properly stated in a lower corner of the card4 ,lawyers and physicians should have only the home address on the card used for social purposes4 ,another card with the business address should be used for business purposes4 ,but ,dr4 is properly used by the physician in place of ,mr4 on his visiting-cards4 ,likewise1 a clergyman uses ,reverend1 or its abbreviation ,rev41 on all his cards1 which are commonly identical for both social and professional uses4 ,the letters indicative of degrees are not given after the name on the visiting-card1 though a single exception is sometimes made by clergymen who omit ,rev4 before their names and1 in lieu of it1 use ,d4,d4 following the name4 ,when it becomes necessary1 for any reason1 to write one's name on a visiting-card1 the prefix ,mr4 should be given1 following the ordinary form of the engraved card4 ,care should be taken in the case of mourning-cards to avoid a too ostentatious parade of grief by an unduly broad margin of black4 ,somewhat less than a half inch is permissible for a widow's card1 and1 after the first year1 it is well to have this width reduced4 ,often1 other reductions in the size of the border are made at intervals of six months1 as long as the period of mourning continues4 ,the card of a widower must carry a border proportionately narrower1 as its size is smaller than a woman's card1 but the decrease in width is made after the same manner4 ,when a woman elects to remain in mourning permanently1 the narrow black border may be retained throughout her lifetime4 ,it is not customary to make variations in the mourning border for the commemoration of persons other than husband or wife4 ,for these1 a fitting width is about a twelfth part of an inch1 which remains the same throughout the period of mourning4 ,when a call is made on a day at home1 the card or cards are commonly left in the hall on a tray placed for that purpose4 ,a married woman calling on the at-home day of another married woman for the first time in the season leaves her own card and two of her husband's cards4 ,but in later calls on the at-home day she leaves her card and the two cards of her husband's only when the call acknowledges entertainment offered to them by the hostess4 ,there has been considerable simplification in recent years as to the leaving of cards4 ,they are no longer weirdly bent in sign of delivery in person1 and a smaller number are used4 ,thus1 though the hostess referred to above may have unmarried daughters receiving with her1 cards for them need not be left4 ,but the presence of a married daughter or a friend formally assisting in the reception of the guests requires the leaving of a card4 ,a woman leaves no cards for the men of the family where she visits4 ,it is the business of the wife to fulfill her husband's formal social duties by leaving his cards with hers whenever entertainment should be acknowledged4 ,where two spinsters share a residence1 a woman caller1 the first time in the season1 should leave two of her cards1 and also1 if she is a married woman1 two of her husband's4 ,so1 too1 a card should be left for a daughter or sister who is hostess of the house1 even though she may be unmarried4 ,when an unmarried girl uses her individual card1 she should follow the procedure indicated for the matron in the use of hers4 ,or she may use the combination card of her mother and herself as already described above4 ,a call on a mother and daughter who are out requires the leaving of two cards4 ,the same procedure is necessary in the case of a hostess who has a friend staying with her4 ,likewise1 a call made on a friend who is a guest in another's house demands the leaving of two cards4 ,this rule applies in the case of a man as well as of a woman4 ,it should be observed that two cards are deemed sufficient in most cases4 ,where1 however1 the hostess has a guest staying with her and also daughters of her own1 three cards are to be left4 ,a man wishing to call on a particular woman must be punctilious in leaving cards not only for the particular one in whom he is interested1 but also for the mother or chaperon1 and still a third for the host4 ,but1 if a call is made on a woman on her at-home day1 no card need be left1 unless the call is in acknowledgment of entertainment4 ,in the latter case1 a single card is left for the host4 ,it is advisable1 however1 that in his first call he should leave a card for convenience in the matter of address4 ,it is permissible on certain occasions to leave visiting-cards with the servant at the door1 or to send them through the mail or by a messenger1 instead of making the call in person4 ,sometimes a woman who is owing a call thus sends her card along with an invitation1 as for luncheon or dinner4 ,the invitation is considered to justify the merely formal matter of the card4 ,so1 too1 a person receiving an invitation from a hostess who is a stranger must1 if the invitation is declined1 leave cards within two weeks after the date of the entertainment4 ,an invalid may send cards through the post in acknowledgment of calls of inquiry1 and a woman in mourning is able to fulfill her obligations in the same manner4 ,cards are formally left by all who receive invitations to a church wedding1 and the requirement is the same for those to whom an announcement of the marriage is sent4 ,such cards are demanded of men and women both1 to be left for the mother of the bride within a fortnight after the ceremony4 ,cards are left within a proper time after any form of entertainment to which the members of a club are invited1 though there may be no other social acquaintance with the hostess4 ,in calls of condolence or inquiry1 cards are always left4 ,they may be used also1 as hereinbefore stated1 to announce a prolonged absence or a change of address4 ,when cards are left in person1 they are delivered to the servant at the door4 ,one or two or three are to be left according to the circumstances4 ,the caller should tell the servant the persons for whom the cards are designed4 ,good taste dictates that calls of inquiry concerning the condition of a sick person should be made in person4 ,cards should be left at the time of such calls1 except in the case of intimates4 ,the cards should not be mailed or sent by messenger4 ,acknowledgment of cards of condolence are made after a funeral by a large black-edged card of thanks1 which should be sent within a month4 ,such cards are usually merely printed1 not engraved4 ,the wording should be of the simplest4 ,mrs4 ,jack ,robinson returns thanks to 44444444444444444444444444444 for her kind sympathy ,the address of the one sending the card should appear at the bottom4 ,the form is varied according to circumstances4 ,thus3 ,mrs4 ,montgomery ,james and ,family return thanks for your kind sympathy ,some persons prefer to leave their visiting-cards with the mourning border on those to whom acknowledgment is due1 instead of sending the special card by mail4 ,personal calls1 however1 are not made by those in mourning within three months at least of the time of the funeral4 ,if earlier acknowledgment is to be made1 the visiting-card with mourning-border may be sent by mail within a few weeks4 ,a word of thanks should be written on the card4 ,for example3 ,with grateful appreciation of your sympathy ,the use of ,p4p4c4 cards has already been described in the chapter on calls4 ,it should be added that they are convenient when one is leaving on short notice without time to pay in person all calls due4 ,the ,p4p4c4 card involves no duty of acknowledgment on the part of its recipient4 ,a woman temporarily stopping in any place sends cards containing her address to any acquaintances she may have there4 ,her ordinary visiting-card serves the purpose1 with a pencil line drawn through the engraved address and the temporary one written above it4 ,but a man1 in the same circumstances1 makes his calls in person4 ,the new-born infant embarks on its social career by means of the card4 ,the birth of a child is made known to the mother's social list by mailing the mother's card1 which has tied to it by a strip of white satin ribbon a card only a quarter as large carrying the full name of the baby4 ,in this case1 the prefix ,mr4 or ,miss is omitted1 but the date of birth appears in a lower corner4 ,the recipients of these cards are required to call with inquiry as to the health of the senders1 and to leave their cards in return4 ,persons residing at a distance may post their cards of acknowledgment1 with a penciled phrase of congratulation4 ,,dinners ,,formal ,,invitations to dinner should be sent between five and ten days before the date4 ,a hostess may use her own discretion as to whether she will write the invitations by hand or use an engraved form4 ,the wording is the same in either case4 ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,walter ,peck request the pleasure of 4444444444444444444444444444444444444444 444 company at dinner on44444444444444444evening at444444444444444444444444o'clock #dja ,armstrong ,street ,the engraved form should be printed on a large1 heavy piece of bristol board in old ,english or block type1 or in script4 ,when the dinner has a guest of honor1 notice of the fact may be given by a line across the bottom of the invitation3 ,to meet ,captain ,arthur ,shayne ,or a special small card may be inclosed with the invitation1 on which is engraved a similar phrase4 ,when the affair is of extraordinary importance1 the form of invitation may dignify the purpose by announcing it at the outset4 ,to meet ,the ,bishop of ,albany ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,william ,astor request the pleasure of 4444444444444444444444444444444444444444 company at dinner on444444444444444444444444444evening at44444444444444444444444444444o'clock #dja ,armstrong ,street ,for dinners to which only a small number of persons are invited and these mutually acquainted1 the formal mode of invitation is not required4 ,a simple note is sufficient4 #ca ,hamilton ,place1 ,march #gth1 #aiai ,my ,dear ,mrs4 ,robinson3 ,will you and ,mr4 ,robinson1 if disengaged1 give us the pleasure of your company at dinner on ,friday the thirteenth1 at half-past seven o'clock8 ,yours sincerely1 ,edith ,mac,arthur ,this form may be varied according to the taste of the writer and the degree of intimacy with the person to whom the invitation is sent4 ,when it becomes necessary to invite some one to take the place of a guest who is unable to be present1 this late invitation should not be of the formal sort1 but should be contained in a note frankly explaining the circumstances4 ,such invitations1 of course1 are never made to merely formal acquaintances4 ,the custom formerly prevailed of writing the initials ,r4s4v4p41 on the dinner invitations1 the initials of the ,french words1 rpondez1 s'il vous plat 7reply if you please74 ,but this usage has lost favor4 ,an invitation to dinner demands an immediate answer1 either accepting or declining4 ,the invitation cannot be accepted conditionally1 nor can the decision be delayed4 ,the form of reply should be as simple as the form of the invitation4 #ag ,north ,street ,april #cjth1 #aiai ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,sloan ,potter accept with pleasure ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,john ,morehouse's invitation to dinner ,tuesday evening1 ,may the sixth at half-past seven ,for a declination1 the following form may be used3 #ag ,north ,street ,april #cj1 #aiai ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,sloan ,potter regret that their absence from the city must prevent their acceptance of ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,john ,morehouse's invitation to dinner on ,tuesday evening1 ,may the sixth at half-past seven ,the invitation in the form of a note is answered similarly by a note4 ,thus3 #db ,chestnut ,street ,april #cj1 #aiai ,my ,dear ,mrs4 ,morehouse3 ,it is with much pleasure that ,i accept your kind invitation to dinner on ,tuesday evening1 the sixth1 at half-past seven o'clock4 ,yours sincerely1 ,helen ,potter ,a declination should state a courteous reason4 ,all such answers are addressed to the hostess alone4 ,if she is married the husband is1 nevertheless1 omitted from the address4 ,the reply to an informal invitation should always be correspondingly informal4 ,for a formal dinner1 there should be an even number of guests1 eight or ten1 or more1 with the sexes evenly divided4 ,either a round or square table will serve1 but it should be large enough to accommodate all the party without crowding4 ,a pad should cover the table4 ,the white cloth over this should be so large that the corners reach nearly to the floor4 ,a folded napkin is placed on each plate1 with a roll or piece of bread laid within it4 ,three forks are laid to the left of the plate1 with prongs up4 ,two steel knives are to the right of the plate1 and then a silver knife1 the edge of each to the left4 ,a soup spoon follows the silver knife1 and then an oyster fork4 ,other utensils are sometimes added1 but are not necessary4 ,a goblet for water is placed before the knives4 ,with it are grouped whatever wine glasses may be required4 ,a small card lying on the napkin carries the name of the guest to be seated here4 ,when dinner is announced1 the host offers his arm to the woman who is to sit on his right1 and leads the way to the dining-room4 ,already1 in welcoming the guests1 the hostess has made known the dinner-partners1 introducing them when necessary4 ,these now follow in pairs to the dining-room4 ,the hostess brings up the rear4 ,the guests find their places by the cards4 ,the hostess does not rise in greeting a late arrival1 even a woman4 ,but the host does1 and sees to the seating of the laggard4 ,it has long been the custom for the ladies to leave the dining-room after the fruit course1 and to have coffee served in the drawing-room4 ,in such case1 the men stand until the women have passed out4 ,afterward1 they seat themselves where they please1 and smoking is permitted4 ,the present-day tendency1 however1 is toward lessening the time of this separation and often doing away with it altogether1 especially at less formal dinners1 which otherwise follow an essentially identical routine4 ,both host and hostess must say farewell1 standing1 with a handclasp1 to each guest4 ,as for the guest1 his first duty is to arrive exactly on time4 ,fifteen minutes of delay is the limit4 ,on ceremonious occasions1 the hostess writes a lady's name on a card1 and places it in an envelope4 ,this is given to the male guest on his arrival by a servant1 and from it he learns the identity of the one he is to take in to dinner4 ,when the dinner is announced1 he offers his arm1 and escorts the woman into the dining-room1 where he pulls out her chair1 and stands until she is seated4 ,it is permissible for dinner-partners1 after the opening courses1 to give some attention to their other immediate neighbors4 ,a guest is free to leave at any time after the conclusion of the dinner4 ,usually1 an hour is long enough to remain after the meal is ended4 ,in taking leave1 the guest must express a courteous appreciation of the hospitality that has been extended4 8,i am under deep obligation to you1 ,mrs4 ,johnson1 for a most delightful evening40 ,this1 or any similar pleasant phrases of gratitude1 will serve4 ,the words of appreciation should be particularly addressed to the hostess always4 ,evening dress is required for all guests at a formal dinner4 ,for men1 the regulation swallow-tail is imperative4 ,the wearing of a dinner-jacket is not allowable on any occasion of ceremony4 ,,garden-,,parties ,,garden-,,parties are probably destined to grow in popularity in this century1 for they offer one of the simplest and most pleasant forms of entertainment during those seasons when the outdoors is attractive4 ,for such an affair1 the hostess sends out invitations about ten days beforehand4 ,these may be engraved on white bristol board1 in which case either one of two forms is permissible4 ,mrs4 ,melville ,stratton ,at ,home ,friday afternoon1 ,april third from four until seven o'clock ,garden-,party ,nine ,park ,square ,or3 ,mrs4 ,melville ,stratton requests the pleasure of 44444444444444444444444444444 company on ,friday afternoon ,april third from four until seven o'clock ,garden-,party ,nine ,park ,square ,if less pretentiousness is preferred for the occasion1 the hostess may merely use a visiting-card4 ,below her name she writes3 ,garden-,party1 ,april third1 four to seven o'clock4 ,still a third method of issuing the invitations is by means of a short note1 written in the first person4 ,the formal engraved invitation demands a prompt reply1 written in the third person4 ,an acceptance might properly take this mode of expression3 ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,clinton ,brewster accept with pleasure ,mrs4 ,stratton's kind invitation for ,april third4 ,thirty ,abernethey ,row ,may twenty-fifth1 #aiai ,a refusal might be in the following form3 ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,clinton ,brewster regret that a previous engagement prevents their acceptance of ,mrs4 ,stratton's kind invitation for ,april third ,thirty ,abernethey ,row ,may twenty-fifth1 #aiai ,when the invitation is by means of the visiting-card1 an answer is not obligatory4 ,yet1 it is well to acknowledge this form of invitation1 also1 by sending a short note written in the first person1 either accepting or refusing4 ,of course1 when the invitation itself takes the form of a note1 the answer should follow the same style4 ,it is part of the duty of the hostess to put her house in order1 as well as the grounds4 ,the guests on arriving may1 in many cases1 go within before greeting the hostess1 to lay aside wraps or heavy veils4 ,moreover1 weather conditions may make it necessary to seek shelter indoors4 ,it is often convenient also to have the refreshments set out on the porch4 ,these should include hot and cold tea1 punch or claret-cup1 cakes1 sandwiches1 salads1 fruits in season1 and the like1 which are partaken of by the guests according to their pleasure4 ,or a marque may shelter the refreshments--a tent roof set up at any desired place on the lawn4 ,the hostess receives her guests on the lawn4 ,she wears an afternoon gown1 suitable for the season1 and a hat4 ,but1 if she prefers1 she may leave off the hat1 and use a parasol in its stead4 ,the women guests1 too1 wear their most effective afternoon gowns and also hats and veils and gloves1 which are not taken off4 ,the men may wear frock or morning coats and silk hats1 and this garb is common at garden-parties in ,england4 ,in this country1 however1 more comfortable clothes are popular1 and flannels1 or other fabrics of light material1 are favored4 ,guests leave their cards on a tray provided for that purpose in the hallway of the house4 ,the requirements concerning cards have already been fully explained in the chapters on cards and at homes4 ,after greeting the hostess1 a guest must remain for at least twenty minutes1 and may properly continue on throughout the whole afternoon4 ,discretion should be used in the matter of saying farewell4 ,it should be omitted if the hostess is occupied4 ,if she is free1 good-bye may be spoken1 and with it a phrase in appreciation of the hospitality4 ,,house-,,parties ,,the ,,house-,,party is made up of any number of guests1 from half a dozen to a score1 and may be merely for a few days or for any desired length of time4 ,but1 whatever is to be the length of the guest's stay1 it should be specifically stated in the invitation4 ,it is a common saying that an invitation that sets no time for the visit is no invitation at all1 and the saying is quite true4 ,so1 in writing her invitation1 a hostess mentions the exact day for the guest's arrival1 and1 as well1 the exact day of departure4 ,the invitation is always a note written in the first person4 ,the following may serve as an illustration3 ,the ,oaks1 ,hyde ,park4 ,april #aj1 #aiai4 ,dear ,mrs4 ,ashland3 ,i should be delighted to have you come to us for the next week-end1 and ,i hope that there is no previous engagement to prevent your giving us this pleasure4 ,the best train for you to take from the city is the one leaving at three in the afternoon4 ,mr4 ,lawrence will meet this at the station here on ,friday4 ,in eager anticipation of your visit1 believe me1 ,cordially yours1 ,ella ,lawrence ,the guest's answer to the invitation must be of the promptest1 whether it accepts or rejects the proposal of a visit4 ,it should1 of course1 be written in the first person4 ,the wording is a matter for the individual taste1 and the form following is offered merely as a suggestion4 #dg ,tremont ,st41 ,new ,york4 ,april #aa1 #aiai4 ,dear ,mrs4 ,lawrence3 ,i am more pleased than ,i can tell you to receive your kind invitation1 since there is nothing to prevent my acceptance of it4 ,i shall take the three o'clock train on ,friday afternoon for ,hyde ,park1 and ,i am looking forward very eagerly to being with you so soon4 ,yours sincerely1 ,roberta ,ashland ,the declination of the invitation should contain some fitting expression of regret1 and an explanation as to the causes that render an acceptance impossible4 ,it is imperative that a girl should be met at the station by her host in person1 or1 if convenient1 preferably by the hostess1 or perhaps by both4 ,but this attention is not obligatory in the case of a married couple or with a bachelor guest4 ,but these1 too1 should be met at the station by a servant if not by the host1 and duly conveyed to the house where they are to be entertained4 ,the guest on arrival should be welcomed at the entrance by the hostess1 if she has not been to the station1 and after the greetings she escorts the guest1 if this is a woman1 to the chamber she is to occupy1 and there leaves her to freshen herself after the journey4 ,when the luggage is brought in1 a competent maid will unpack it and distribute the contents through the drawers of the bureau and in the closet1 and render such other services as may be required4 ,a less competent maid can at least unstrap the luggage1 remove trays1 and help in the disposal of the contents4 ,in the case of a man1 after being greeted by his hostess1 he is conducted to his room by the host4 ,the wardrobe requirements for the visitor at a house-party are regulated by the probable nature of the entertainment that will be provided1 by the season of the year1 and by the particular social status of the hosts4 ,no hard-and-fast rule can be given4 ,thus1 where a woman visits a country house for a few days in the summer1 she needs no larger wardrobe than can be carried in the tiniest of trunks1 suitcase and hat-box4 ,the hat used for traveling will serve her also on occasion during the visit1 but she will need in addition a sport-hat for tramping or out-door games and another hat of sufficient elegance for wear at a lawn party or wherever more elaborate dress is necessary4 ,the frocks should follow the lines thus indicated1 and there should be a sufficiency of dainty waists and footgear besides the inevitable decollet gowns for evening wear4 ,for the man1 also1 evening clothes are essential1 and he should be provided with flannels1 besides the business suit in which he travels4 ,for winter1 the change in season would demand a corresponding change in the matter of dress1 especially for out of doors4 ,the hostess plans sufficient entertainment for her guests1 but1 if she is discreet1 she does not plan too many things4 ,it is customary to leave the mornings to the devices of the guests1 to be occupied by them according to their individual pleasure4 ,where a morning start is required on some expedition1 such as a picnic1 the hostess is likely to leave the evening free from any special entertainment4 ,it is the duty of the guest to conform to the habits of the household4 ,if the party assembles together for breakfast1 he or she must make one of the number though the hour may be too early or too late for personal convenience4 ,likewise1 the guest should accept such disposal of his or her time as the hostess may choose to make1 even when the preference would be quite otherwise4 ,the tactful hostess1 of course1 studies the likes and dislikes of her guests1 and seeks to reconcile her hospitality so far as possible to their prejudices4 ,it is customary to give tips on leaving a house-party to those servants with whom the guest has been brought more closely in contact4 ,the maid who has attended to the room should receive a dollar from the visitor for a few days2 the butler1 if there is one1 should receive a dollar and a half4 ,the amount for the chauffeur should be regulated to some extent by his personal service in the guest's behalf4 ,where there has been none1 a dollar is sufficient4 ,these figures are applicable in the cases of unmarried women and bachelors1 although the tendency of the latter is to give more4 ,the sums named1 however1 are regarded as acceptable by the servants themselves4 ,naturally1 they enjoy the lavish1 even prodigal tips given by certain persons of wealth1 who are more ostentatious than discreet4 ,such indiscretions1 however1 need not set up a false standard for other guests4 ,in the case of a husband and wife1 the tips to maid and butler1 etc41 should be increased4 ,it is usual for the wife to tip the female servants1 while the husband satisfies those of his own sex4 ,when the care of the guest's shoes devolves on a house-boy1 he1 too1 should be remembered with a half-dollar4 ,the male guests frequently give a tip of a dollar or more to the cook4 ,it is the duty of the hostess in the case of a woman visitor to bid her farewell in person1 even if this should necessitate arising at an unpleasantly early hour4 ,but in the case of a man's leaving thus early1 it suffices if she makes her farewell the night before4 ,it then becomes the duty of the host to attend on the guest for the breakfast and departure4 ,in about a week after such a visit1 the guest should write a note to the hostess1 expressing warm appreciation of the hospitality thus enjoyed4 ,it is also permissible for the guest to send a gift that is not too costly1 such as a book1 or any simple thing that may serve as a token of remembrance4 ,but this is in no wise obligatory1 and1 in fact1 good taste is likely to prevent the bestowal of such a gift in most cases4 ,there could hardly be anything less satisfactory to a hostess than a string of such souvenirs from her whilom guests4 ,where the visit is a very short one1 less than two days1 it is customary to dispense with the bread-and-butter letter4 ,,introductions ,,simplicity ,,should always characterize good manners1 and this truth applies especially in the matter of introductions4 ,there should be no attempt at fine phrases4 8,mrs4 ,smith1 let me present ,mr4 ,jones40 ,it is to be noted that the names of both persons concerned are given4 ,they should be spoken with entire distinctness4 ,in this form1 a man is presented to a woman1 and this is the rule to be generally observed4 ,it is admissible for the introduction to contain an expression of the man's wish for it4 8,mrs4 ,smith1 ,mr4 ,jones desires to be presented to you40 ,slight variations in the phrasing of these forms are permitted4 ,for example1 after saying1 8,mrs4 ,smith1 let me present ,mr4 ,jones10 it is proper to add some such phrase as1 8,he is very anxious to meet you40 ,it is always a mark of courtesy to request a lady's permission in advance of the actual introduction4 ,when introductions are to be made between a woman1 who is a newcomer1 and an assembly of guests1 the newcomer is given the formal distinction of receiving the introductions4 8,miss ,brown1 let me present ,mrs4 ,robinson1 ,miss ,robinson1 ,miss ,helen ,robinson1 ,mr4 ,jones1 ,mr4 ,truesdale40 ,often1 the form of introduction is curtailed1 especially when the company is numerous4 ,in such case1 merely the names are spoken1 that of the stranger having first place4 8,miss ,brown--,mrs4 ,robinson1 ,miss ,robinson1 ,miss ,helen ,robinson1 ,mr4 ,jones1 ,mr4 ,truesdale40 ,care must be taken to remember that the person to whom the introduction is made has the place of honor4 ,it is on this account that the rule of proper procedure requires the presentation of a man to a woman1 and always the presentation of the inferior to the superior1 although the distinction is usually purely theoretical4 ,for example1 an unmarried woman should be presented to a matron4 ,so1 the younger person should be presented to his or her elders2 the ordinary person should be presented to the person of distinction4 ,where men or women are of nearly equal age or station1 it is safer not to discriminate between them by presenting one to the other4 ,it is enough merely to name them4 8,mr4 ,smith1 ,mr4 ,robinson40 ,or3 8,mrs4 ,jones1 ,mrs4 ,brown40 ,it is a part of good tact on the part of a host or hostess in making introductions to add a few words of explanation as to some particular interest of each1 which may be of assistance to them at the beginning of their conversation4 ,in every instance1 the greatest care should be taken by the person making an introduction to pronounce both names with the utmost clearness4 ,nothing is more annoying than an indistinct mumble that leaves the hearers uninformed4 ,when1 for any reason1 one fails to understand a stranger's name at the time of introduction1 it is permissible to ask it4 8,pardon me1 but ,i did not understand the name40 ,there are some variations that should be noted as to the manner of acknowledging an introduction4 ,in her own home1 a woman should offer her hand1 while saying1 8,mrs4 ,smith1 ,i am very glad to meet you10 or any similar phrase of cordial greeting4 ,but such a cordial phrase is not to be used by a woman when a man is presented to her1 unless she is the hostess4 ,a man1 on the contrary1 on receiving his introduction to a lady1 should express his appreciation in a courteous sentence4 8,i am very glad to meet you1 ,miss ,robinson40 ,the tendency to-day is toward elimination of handshaking by women on the occasion of an introduction1 except in the case of a hostess4 ,a slight bow of the head1 a smile and the repetition of the stranger's name are deemed enough4 ,but many women still prefer a less formal manner1 and give their hand when an introduction is made4 ,it is the duty of a hostess to stand up when receiving an introduction4 ,this applies equally whether the stranger is a man or a woman4 ,but a woman other than the hostess1 when a member of a group1 remains seated during any introduction to her unless it is of one her superior in age or station1 whom she should honor by rising4 ,otherwise1 it is preferable for a woman to stand in acknowledging an introduction of one of her own sex1 though she should remain seated when a man is presented to her4 ,in ,england1 it is usual to omit introductions among those gathered in the same house1 and guests are expected to conduct themselves as acquaintances without this formality4 ,in our country1 however1 the custom has not prevailed to any considerable extent1 and it is not ordinarily proper for strangers to address each other without having been introduced1 even though they are fellow-guests4 ,a hostess should introduce all her guests one to another at ordinary dinner-parties1 luncheons1 or breakfasts4 ,but1 in the case of very large dinner-parties1 she is required only to introduce those who are to be partners at table1 though it is advisable for her to make other introductions to any extent convenient4 ,at the table1 however1 introductions should be carefully avoided4 ,if the women leave the table before the men1 other introductions may be made among them in the drawing-room4 ,the men1 too1 on returning to the drawing-room may be presented to such women as they have not already met4 ,when a hostess receives at home1 she should introduce each new arrival to some of the guests who are near by4 ,if she has an assistant in receiving1 each guest should be presented4 ,on formal occasions1 it is not her duty to go about among the guests in order to introduce them4 ,the hostess at a large ball follows a similar course of conduct4 ,but in less formal affairs she should be at pains to see that no guest is neglected1 and that each1 as far as possible1 has a due share in the dancing4 ,it is especially desirable on all formal occasions1 such as large balls for example1 that a man wishing to present a friend to a woman should first privately ask her permission4 ,introductions of a very casual sort should never be taken too seriously4 ,this applies particularly to those made in a public place1 such as the street1 when a person accompanied by a friend meets an acquaintance1 who is a stranger to that friend1 and there is a pause for a brief chat4 ,usually1 there is no occasion for an introduction under these circumstances1 and if one is made it may be afterward ignored4 ,as a matter of fact1 only a rather extensive conversation between the acquaintances would justify an introduction4 ,perfunctory introductions of those temporarily associated in a game on the tennis court1 or the like1 are to be regarded as equally casual1 and not of a sort necessitating subsequent recognition4 ,introductions may be formally made by letter4 ,in such case1 the letter should deal exclusively with the introduction4 ,there is no set form1 but the following will serve as a sufficient guide1 to be varied according to personal inclination3 ,burlington1 ,vermont4 ,june #a1 #aiai4 ,my dear ,mrs4 ,smith3 ,it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you my friend1 ,miss ,truesdale1 who is about to visit relatives in your city4 ,i shall deeply appreciate any courtesy you may show her4 ,with kindest regards to yourself and ,mr4 ,smith1 ,i am1 ,yours sincerely1 ,mabel ,potter ,a similar form will suffice for the introduction of a man1 whether to another man or to a woman4 ,discretion should be exercised always in the granting of letters of introduction1 and it is well to write a separate letter giving details concerning the person thus introduced4 ,the letter of introduction itself should be placed in an addressed envelope1 which is left unsealed1 to be presented in person by the one to be introduced4 ,instead of a letter1 a common practise uses the visiting-card of the person making the introduction4 ,in such case1 a line is written across the top of the card4 ,introducing ,mr4 ,russell ,elliot ,this card also is enclosed within its proper envelope1 duly addressed1 but unsealed1 and delivered to the person for whose benefit it is given4 ,it is common for a man to call at the residence of the person to whom the introduction is addressed1 and there give the envelope1 still unsealed1 to the servant1 together with his own card4 ,in the absence of the host or hostess1 the caller places his own card inside the envelope1 which is then sealed1 and left4 ,a woman never follows this procedure4 ,she places her card in the envelope containing the introduction1 which is then sealed1 and dropped in the post for delivery4 ,one receiving such a letter of introduction1 whether man or woman1 is expected1 if the bearer is a woman1 to call on her within two days' time1 and to follow this up with some sort of hospitable entertainment4 ,if1 for any imperative reason1 a call is impossible1 a letter should be written in explanation4 ,the like procedure is followed when both parties are men4 ,but when a man presents such a letter of introduction to a woman1 she does not1 of course1 call upon him1 but writes to extend her hospitable offers4 ,,letters ,,the ,,most ,,troublesome detail in letter-writing is the matter of address4 ,it should be noted that there is a distinction between ,dear and ,my dear4 ,in our country1 the more formal style is with the pronoun1 while the pronoun is omitted in writing to friends4 ,a letter to a mere acquaintance begins with the words1 ,my dear 44444444444444444444444444444 ,but the form for an intimate is simply ,dear 44444444444444444444444444444 ,the usual address for business purposes and to those with whom no social relations are established is ,dear ,sir4 ,the plural is used in addressing firms1 ,dear ,sirs1 or the one word ,gentlemen1 may be employed4 ,in addressing a man with whom social relations are established1 the surname is used1 preceded by ,dear or ,my dear1 according to the degree of intimacy4 ,my dear ,mr4 ,hudson2 ,dear ,mr4 ,grant4 ,a woman who is a stranger may be addressed either as ,madam or ,dear ,madam1 whether she be married or unmarried4 ,the form 8,dear ,miss0 is to be avoided under all circumstances4 ,for the woman with whom the writer is formally acquainted1 the address is3 ,my dear ,mrs4 4444444444444444444444444444441 if she is married1 and ,my dear ,miss 44444444444444444444444444441 if she is unmarried4 ,when the person is a friend1 she should be addressed3 ,dear ,mrs4 44444444444444441 if she is a married woman1 and ,dear ,miss 44444444444444444444444444441 if she is unmarried4 ,the full name should be signed to formal letters4 ,the married woman should use her own ,christian name1 not her husband's with the ,mrs4 prefixed4 ,but1 in business communications to strangers1 she may very properly give her husband's name with the prefix ,mrs41 below her usual signature1 and inclosed in parenthesis4 ,similarly1 for the sake of clearness1 a business letter by an unmarried woman may have ,miss in parenthesis before the name4 ,envelopes should be addressed to the recipient with the full name and necessary prefix---,mr41 ,mrs41 or ,miss4 ,the ,mr41 however1 must be omitted if ,esq4 is written after the name4 ,the ,english custom limits the use of ,esquire to those who are technically gentlemen4 ,for example1 ,esq4 is placed after the name in addressing a barrister1 but it must not be used in writing to a tradesman1 who is given only the prefix ,mr4 ,the prefix ,mr4 is used when ,junior or ,senior is indicated after the name by an abbreviation4 ,in such case1 ,esq4 must never be written4 ,it must be noted also that in the case of addresses1 as with cards1 to which attention has already been given1 the husband's title must not be given to the wife4 ,mrs4 ,colonel1 ,mrs4 ,doctor1 ,mrs4 ,professor1 and the like1 are barbarisms1 which are not tolerated in ,america or ,england4 ,the ,germans1 however1 use them4 ,the phrase before the signature to a letter varies according to the circumstances1 and especially according to the individual taste4 ,thus1 in concluding a very formal communication1 it is quite proper to use the old-fashioned wording1 ,i am1 my dear ,madam1 your obedient servant4 ,an ordinary convenient form that covers a wide field is1 ,i remain1 ,yours sincerely1 or ,yours faithfully1 or ,yours cordially1 writing ,i remain on one line1 and the ,yours1 etc41 on the line below4 ,thus3 ,i remain1 ,yours sincerely1 ,yours truly1 or ,very truly yours1 is best reserved for business communications4 ,yours respectfully is applicable for business communications1 and also for letters addressed to superiors1 and for use generally as a rather meaningless style4 ,men of exalted position are commonly addressed as ,sir without any qualifying word4 ,and the form in ending is1 ,i have1 ,sir1 the honor to remain ,your most obedient servant--,your1 etc41 forming a separate line4 ,a letter of a social sort would begin1 ,my dear ,mr4 ,president4 ,the like form would suffice for the vice-president1 except for a letter of social character1 when he should be addressed by name1 ,my dear ,mr4 4444444444444444444444444 ,a justice of the supreme court1 a senator1 a member of the house of representatives1 a cabinet officer1 the governor of a state1 etc41 all have the same formal ,sir as the address and the corresponding phrase in conclusion4 ,but there is variation in the address when the letter is of social import4 ,the justice may be addressed ,my dear ,justice 444444444444444441 or ,dear ,mr4 ,justice 444444444444444444 ,the senator is addressed ,my dear ,senator 444444444444444444444444 ,the representative in congress is addressed ,my dear ,mr4 44444444444444444 ,on the envelope1 the forms are respectively ,mr4 ,justice 44444444444444444441 ,senator 444444444444444444444441 ,hon4 44444444444444 7for the congressman74 ,the social letter to a cabinet officer addresses him by name1 ,my dear 444444444444444441 and has on the envelope ,hon4 preceding the name and his official designation following it4 ,a governor is usually addressed ,my dear ,governor 444444444444444444444444 ,and the envelope should have the title preceding the name4 ,in all cases except that of the ,president1 the conclusion of a social letter is a simple form such as1 ,i remain1 ,yours very sincerely4 ,a mayor is addressed either as ,sir1 or ,your ,honor1 in formal communications1 and as ,my dear ,mayor 44444444444444444 in social correspondence4 ,the envelope properly gives him a full designation1 ,his ,honor the ,mayor of 444444444444444444444 ,the name follows1 written on a lower line4 ,the form of address is the same for both official and social letters in the case of a ,roman ,catholic archbishop3 ,most ,reverend and ,dear ,sir4 ,the conclusion should run3 ,i have the honor to remain ,your obedient servant--,your1 etc41 being written on a lower line4 ,the envelope carries ,the ,most ,reverend 444444444444444444444441 ,archbishop of 4444444444444444444 ,all letters to a cardinal begin ,your ,eminence4 ,the conclusion is the same as to an archbishop4 ,the envelope reads ,his ,eminence ,cardinal 4444444444444444444444444 ,for a ,roman ,catholic bishop all letters begin ,right ,reverend and ,dear ,sir4 ,the conclusion is that used for the preceding prelates4 ,on the envelope3 ,the ,right ,reverend 4444444444444444441 ,bishop of 444444444444 ,a ,protestant bishop1 also1 is addressed ,right ,reverend and ,dear ,sir officially1 but a social letter begins ,my dear ,bishop 444444444444444444444 ,the conclusion may take the form given for ,roman ,catholic dignitaries1 but for social letters it is sufficient to write1 ,i remain ,yours sincerely4 ,the envelope reads3 ,the ,right ,reverend 44444444444444441 ,bishop of 44444444444444444444444444444 ,both priests and ,protestant clergymen are officially addressed3 ,reverend and ,dear ,sir4 ,but1 in a social letter1 the beginning is ,dear ,father 4444444444444444441 in the case of a priest2 while the ,protestant minister is addressed as ,dear ,mr4 4444444444444444444444441 or ,dear ,doctor 444444444444444444441 if he has such a title4 ,the conclusion for either need be no more than3 ,i remain1 ,yours very sincerely4 ,the envelope bears1 ,the ,reverend 44444444444444444444444 ,the possession of degrees may be indicated by writing the proper initials after the name4 ,where the clergyman has the degree of ,doctor1 this is sometimes used as an abbreviation preceding the name--,the ,reverend ,dr4 44444444444444444444444444 ,,luncheons ,,the ,,etiquette for a luncheon is essentially the same as that for a breakfast1 which has already been described4 ,but the luncheon at present enjoys a popularity that is distinctive in one respect3 it serves conveniently very often as a function wholly for the entertainment of feminine guests4 ,the usual hour for a luncheon is from one to two o'clock4 ,the invitations1 unless the affair is to be quite informal1 should be sent out ten days before the date set4 ,as in the case of a breakfast1 the invitation may be sent on a visiting-card1 writing below the name3 ,luncheon at one o'clock ,april the fourth ,for an especially formal affair1 the invitation should be engraved on square white cards of large size1 similar to those employed for dinner-invitations4 ,mrs4 ,george ,vinton ,thorne requests the pleasure of 4444444444444444444444444444444444444444 company at luncheon on 444444444444444444444444444444 at 44444444444444444444444444 o'clock ,eleven ,green ,street ,a note written in the first person may convey the invitation1 if the hostess prefers this manner4 ,the acceptance or refusal of an invitation may be in the third person1 following the examples given in the chapter on dinners1 or it may be written as a note in the first person4 ,in either case1 the method used in the invitation itself must govern the style of the reply4 ,at the more formal luncheon1 the menu may be elaborate1 with oysters1 bouillon1 fish1 and other courses following to any desired extent1 but care must be taken always that the general character of the viands served must not be oversubstantial4 ,the meal should be of a distinctively lighter sort as compared with dinner4 ,the women guests usually wear their most effective frocks4 ,wraps are left in the cloak-room provided1 or1 if this is lacking1 in the hall4 ,the hats are not removed1 but the veil is either pushed up out of the way1 or removed1 according to the wearer's pleasure4 ,the gloves are taken off after arrival at table1 and left in the lap1 covered by the napkin4 ,a guest should remain for at least half an hour after the completion of the meal1 and from this minimum of time up to an hour or perhaps a little longer1 according to the particular circumstances4 ,the farewell of each guest should1 of course1 contain some phrase expressing appreciation of the hospitality enjoyed4 ,,mourning ,,there ,,is ,,room for so much variety in the expression of personal tastes as to the matter of mourning that hard-and-fast rules are of doubtful value4 ,there is1 however1 some degree of exactness as to the dress suitable for widows1 although1 even in this connection1 individual choice and the changes of fashion exert their influence to the display of differing modes4 ,the widow's mourning may be divided into three periods1 termed respectively first1 second and third4 ,the first mourning includes the entire costume in black4 ,usually1 the material of the dress is of worsted1 with a trimming of crpe4 ,the black bonnet is of crpe1 and from it hangs a long veil1 also of crpe4 ,formerly1 these veils were of extreme length1 reaching even to the hem of the gown4 ,the tendency has been1 however1 toward shortening the veil1 and the present fashion insists on only a moderate length4 ,another veil1 worn over the face1 was formerly both long and heavy1 but the style has been modified1 and at present it is of lighter texture and of much briefer proportions4 ,the bonnet has white ruching within the front edge1 and the gown is trimmed with sheer white cuffs1 and a collar of the same material4 ,the gloves must be of dull black1 and ornaments of dull jet1 with a black-bordered handkerchief4 ,this first mourning should be worn for a full year4 ,a change may then be made to second mourning1 in which the dress may be of crpe de chine or dull silk1 with a hat carrying black chiffon1 etc41 and ornaments of dull jet4 ,the third mourning is assumed after another six months4 ,in this white and lilac are permitted to relieve the somberness of the attire4 ,this mourning is worn for a period of six months1 also1 after which colors may be resumed4 ,it should be noted that the white ruche on the bonnet is the one distinctive feature of the first mourning that designates the wearer as a widow4 ,a woman may wear exactly the same costume1 with the exception of this white ruche on the bonnet1 in the mourning for a parent1 a child1 a brother or a sister4 ,the period for wearing mourning in such case1 and the changes in it1 may follow the details given above for widows4 ,mourning for a parent-in-law is black1 with the crpe omitted4 ,this is worn for only a month1 and is followed by any preferred combinations of black and white1 relieved by lilac1 for a fortnight or a little longer4 ,the mourning for close relatives worn by a young unmarried woman does not include the bonnet and veil4 ,instead1 a hat trimmed with crpe is worn1 and a black net veil over the face is trimmed with crpe4 ,after six months or a year1 the crpe is omitted from hat and veil1 and also from the gown4 ,black and white and lilac are then deemed suitable4 ,usually1 however1 the older unmarried women wear the veil and bonnet of the first mourning1 as do widows1 but with the white ruche omitted4 ,mourning is not usually adopted when the death is of relatives-in-law or of a grandparent4 ,three months is ordinarily sufficient for mourning in the case of an uncle or aunt1 and it does not include crpe4 ,ornaments may be worn1 though preferably of a very quiet sort4 ,in general1 it is well to bear in mind that mourning should not be worn except for the members of one's immediate family4 ,of course1 the particular circumstances in each case must be a determining factor4 ,for example1 while mourning is not customarily worn for a cousin1 yet a girl who had made a home with such a relative might appropriately wear mourning as for her own mother4 ,crpe is not deemed suitable for girls not yet old enough for a formal entrance into society1 and children should be spared the lugubrious trappings of woe in every case4 ,but a girl about sixteen years of age1 on the death of a member of the family1 appropriately wears a black dress1 relieved only by touches of white1 and a black hat1 with dull black ribbons4 ,she should leave off jewelry1 but she should not carry a handkerchief with black border4 ,the mourning for a widower is often divided into two periods4 ,during the first1 black is worn throughout in the costume1 with white linen4 ,the hat-band is of crpe4 ,the present tendency is to make this band much narrower than it was of yore4 ,it is left off altogether after a year1 or perhaps eight months1 as the second mourning begins4 ,the second mourning permits the use of gray and white in the costume4 ,a man's mourning for a child1 parent1 brother or sister may continue for a full year1 or it may be put off after six months according to his choice4 ,the mourning includes a hat-band of crpe4 ,if a man wishes to wear mourning for a more distant relative1 he may use the black and white and gray of the widower's second period1 but men ordinarily do not assume mourning for any except closest relations4 ,a mourning band on the sleeve is sometimes worn by men1 but it is impossible to describe its significance from the standpoint of propriety1 since it is worn equally for those most closely related and for those most distantly1 without distinction1 and since it is a custom derived originally from ,england1 where it serves as a cheap method of providing mourning liveries for servants4 ,after the loss of a close relation1 a woman pays no calls for six months4 ,after that time1 she may visit her intimates1 but not on their at-home days4 ,she may also attend concerts and theater matines and the like1 in a very quiet way4 ,after a year1 she may appear at small dinners1 and at the theater in the evening1 and the like4 ,but box parties and all the elaborate functions1 such for example as balls1 must not be resumed until the period of mourning has expired4 ,elderly women are likely to prefer a mourning garb for the remainder of their lifetime1 after the death of a husband4 ,in such cases1 after perhaps two years1 the widow's bonnet and veil are given up1 and nun's veiling is substituted4 ,while the gown remains black1 the crpe is omitted from it1 and the mourning handkerchief is no longer carried4 ,jewelry is worn1 but not of an ostentatious kind4 ,,musicales ,,the ,,musicale is merely a formal at home where music is made a special feature of the entertainment4 ,throughout1 the procedure is that of an at home1 and the details are to be found in full in the chapter under that heading4 ,the only formal difference is in the wording of the invitation1 which makes mention of music as the feature4 ,the invitations are engraved1 and may take either of the two usual forms1 according to the choice of the hostess4 ,mrs4 ,george ,h4 ,baxter requests the pleasure of 444444444444444444444444444444444444444 company at a musicale on ,friday evening1 ,may first at half-past nine o'clock ,twenty-seven ,maple ,street ,or the at-home form may be used as follows3 ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,george ,h4 ,baxter ,at ,home ,friday evening1 ,may first at half-past nine o'clock ,twenty-seven ,maple ,street ,music ,such an affair in the evening is often of the most elaborate character1 and is essentially a concert4 ,but a musicale may be given with equal propriety in the afternoon4 ,the form for engraved invitations is precisely the same1 with the single exception of the hours named1 for the afternoon entertainment specifies the time as from four until seven o'clock4 ,for a less formal occasion1 a hostess may extend her invitations by sending a visiting-card1 on which she writes1 below her name1 ,friday1 ,may first1 four to seven o'clock1 and underneath this the single word ,music4 ,or in place of the word ,music1 she may write ,to hear 44444444444444 adding the name of a particular performer4 ,the obligations of the guests follow in all respects those to which attention has been already given under the title 8,at ,homes40 ,thus1 in the matter of costumes1 the usage resembles that explained concerning correct garb for both afternoon and evening receptions in the earlier chapter4 ,it might be well to emphasize the fact that no direct reply is required for an invitation announcing that the hostess will be at home on a certain date4 ,but the case is quite otherwise when that form of invitation is employed which requests the pleasure of the guest's company4 ,this demands a prompt answer1 whether of acceptance or of refusal1 which should be couched in the third person4 ,thus3 ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,henry ,sage ,beckett accept with pleasure ,mrs4 ,baxter's kind invitation for ,may first ,nineteen ,wentworth ,square ,april twenty-first1 #aiai ,or1 in the event of inability to accept1 or disinclination1 the answer should run as follows3 ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,henry ,sage ,beckett regret that a previous engagement prevents their acceptance of ,mrs4 ,baxter's kind invitation for ,may first ,nineteen ,wentworth ,square ,april twenty-first1 #aiai ,,opera ,a ,,sufficient ,,form for an invitation to an opera party will be found in the chapter on the theater1 which needs only a verbal change to specify the particular performance at the opera instead of at the playhouse4 ,in general1 also1 the procedure suited to attendance at the theater is to be followed in connection with the opera4 ,but there are certain differences that should be regarded4 ,the dress for the opera is more formal than for the theater1 generally speaking4 ,the man1 for example1 usually keeps his white gloves on4 ,the woman1 for her part1 wears a gown that is sleeveless and decollet1 and displays jewels according to her means or taste4 ,an aigrette takes the place of the hat that may be worn to the theater4 ,nevertheless1 it is quite permissible for a woman occupying a stall in the orchestra at the opera to wear a costume of the sort commonly seen at the theater4 ,visiting at the opera is a distinctive feature1 facilitated as it is by the number of boxes1 so greatly in excess of those with which the theater is supplied4 ,for it is with the boxes that this visiting is chiefly concerned1 though it reaches to some extent to the orchestra stalls4 ,between acts is the proper time for such calls1 which are usually1 but not exclusively1 paid by men4 ,a gentleman may call on a lady of his acquaintance in a box1 though she is a guest of a host or hostess who is not known to him4 ,in such case1 the woman to whom he pays the visit must introduce him to her entertainer4 ,but an introduction of the sort is merely formal1 and entails no necessity of subsequent recognition by either party4 ,no more than five minutes1 or even less1 should be given to such calls1 but some discretion is permitted by the particular circumstances4 ,thus1 where there are many coming and going1 the time should be shorter than when there are few other visitors1 or none4 ,the call should never extend beyond the end of the intermission4 ,since an opera box is equipped with a vestibule of its own1 the women do not leave their wraps in the cloak-room1 but wait until their arrival at the box1 when they are taken off in the vestibule4 ,afterward1 on entering the box1 the chaperon and other older women precede the younger1 and are offered the choice of seats4 ,but they usually prefer the less conspicuous positions1 and the chairs at the rail are given to the dbutantes1 or younger matrons4 ,the exact arrangement is always a matter for the display of tact on the part of host or hostess4 ,visiting among the stalls is necessarily more limited1 but is practised to any extent rendered convenient by location4 ,in such visiting1 the ordinary amenities of social intercourse are to be observed4 ,the men1 for example1 must stand when a lady enters the box in which they are seated1 and they should remain standing until her departure1 or until she has taken a chair4 ,,private ,,theatricals ,,private ,,theatricals are usually the feature of an evening function4 ,the form of invitation is exactly the same as for a musicale1 with the one exception in substituting ,theatricals at ten o'clock4 ,the phrase appears thus in the at-home form of announcement4 ,when the invitation requests the pleasure of the guest's company1 ,at ,private ,theatricals is preferred as the descriptive statement4 ,on occasions when the theatricals are to be followed by a dance1 the word ,dancing is added at the bottom of the card4 ,the letters ,r4s4v4p4 are commonly employed in connection with such invitations1 and their appearance on the card emphasizes the necessity of a written reply4 ,,receptions ,,all ,,details of the etiquette that has to do with receptions1 whether they are held in the afternoon or in the evening1 are carefully described in the chapter treating various forms of the at home4 ,,smoking ,a ,,guest in the home of another must not smoke unless invited to do so by host or hostess4 ,a man in the presence of a lady must not smoke unless he asks for1 and receives1 permission to do so4 ,a man should not smoke when walking with a woman in public4 ,a man must not converse while holding cigar1 pipe1 or cigarette in his mouth4 ,,stairs ,,in ,a ,,former generation1 women hid their ankles1 and gave brief glimpses of them only by accident or naughty design4 ,it was then required of a gentleman that he should precede a lady in ascending stairs4 ,to-day1 fashion has cleared away all mystery concerning feminine ankles1 and a gentleman is permitted to follow the lady as she mounts the stairs4 ,,street ,,etiquette ,,when ,a ,,man and woman walk together in the street1 the man's proper position is usually on the side toward the curb1 and he maintains this place also when walking with two women4 ,he should never station himself between them1 unless under the informal circumstances of a country road1 or the like4 ,in the day time1 a man does not offer a woman his arm when they walk together1 though of course he should give her the support of his hand under her elbow when such assistance is obviously required1 as in mounting the steps of a car4 ,but in the evening a man properly offers his arm to a woman when they are to walk together1 and she lays her hand on his forearm4 ,they should never hook arms4 ,when a man and woman who are acquainted with each other meet in the street1 it is the woman's place to extend recognition by a nod and smile1 which latter varies from coldness to warmth according to her will4 ,on receiving such recognition1 for which in any formal acquaintance he must wait1 the man raises his hat1 and at the same time bows4 ,when a man is walking with a woman1 he must salute in the same fashion any others that pass who recognize either himself or his companion1 except that where the person is not an acquaintance of his own1 he merely lifts his hat without bowing4 ,when a man encounters a woman on the street1 and wishes to talk with her1 he should not detain her1 but with her permission should turn and walk beside her4 ,the woman1 however1 is privileged thus to retain the man in conversation1 but she should withdraw to one side1 out of the way of passers-by4 ,in escorting a woman in a car1 the man should assist her to enter1 and then follow4 ,but in leaving1 he precedes her and descends first1 then turning to help her down4 ,good sense must determine the precise conduct for propriety in various circumstances4 ,ordinarily1 where a couple cannot well walk side by side1 the man follows behind the woman4 ,but where the way is difficult for any reason1 he goes in advance--as1 for example1 when it becomes necessary to force the way through a crowd4 ,some men make a point of standing uncovered throughout the length of any conversation with a woman in the street4 ,this mode is not to be encouraged1 especially in the inclement northern winter4 ,merely raising the hat at meeting and again at parting is quite sufficient4 ,,table ,,manners ,,deportment ,,at ,,table is the most important single item in the total of good manners4 ,yet1 the requirements are very simple--so simple indeed that there is little excuse for those who fail in them4 ,it should hardly be necessary to say that the position must be one of well-balanced erectness4 ,a man's hands should be kept in his lap when not busy4 ,so of a woman's--formerly4 ,of recent years1 a new custom has crept in1 and it is common to see a woman's forearm or elbow resting at ease on the table4 ,the napkin is only partly unfolded1 and laid across the lap4 ,in the case of a woman1 it covers her gloves1 which she has taken off on seating herself4 ,at the end of the meal1 the crumpled napkin is laid beside the plate4 ,but1 when making an extended stay with friends1 the napkin is folded if the host and hostess fold theirs in preparation for use at another meal4 ,the knife is employed only for cutting purposes1 being then held in the right hand4 ,it is afterward put down1 while the fork is transferred to the right hand for passing food to the mouth4 ,when not in use both knife and fork are left on the plate4 ,they should not be held in the hands1 or laid down on the table4 ,they are to remain on the plate also if it is sent for another helping4 ,when eating is ended1 knife and fork are laid together on the plate--parallel1 points to the center1 and the fork tines down4 ,the fork should be used throughout with the tines downward4 ,it is only used spoon-fashion for small vegetables such as peas4 ,the fork rather than a spoon should be used for eating ices1 melons1 and the like4 ,it is used to fold lettuce and other salad leaves1 which must not be cut with a knife4 ,the knife is used only for cutting1 and is afterward laid down on the plate4 ,beverages in glasses or cups are tested by sipping from a spoon1 which is then laid down4 ,afterward one drinks directly from the container4 ,the spoon must never be allowed to stand in a cup or glass4 ,for taking soup1 the spoon is pushed forward1 not drawn toward one4 ,the soup plate is never tipped4 ,the liquid must be taken into the mouth from the side of the spoon never from the end4 ,boiled eggs are properly eaten with a spoon1 of course1 as are jellies1 custards and the like1 grape-fruit and various fruits served with cream1 and cereals4 ,a finger-bowl is properly used on finishing a fruit course4 ,a slight rinsing of the finger-tips suffices1 after which they are wiped on the napkin4 ,butter is not served at formal dinners4 ,at all other meals a special plate is laid for bread and butter1 and a small knife of silver for spreading the butter4 ,the bread is broken with the fingers1 a mouthful at a time and separately buttered4 ,cake is eaten either in the fingers or with a fork4 ,cheese is cut into small pieces4 ,each piece is placed on a mouthful of bread or cracker1 and then eaten from the fingers4 ,apples1 pears1 etc41 are quartered1 peeled1 cut in mouthfuls1 and then eaten from the fingers4 ,smaller fruits with pits are eaten from the fingers4 ,each pit is taken from the mouth in the closed hand and deposited on the plate4 ,asparagus is eaten with a fork4 ,that part of the stalk not easily cut by the fork is left4 ,but burr artichokes are eaten from the fingers a leaf at a time1 after it has been dipped in the sauce4 ,only the heart demands the use of a fork4 ,celery1 olives and radishes are eaten from the fingers4 ,so1 also1 are crystallized fruits1 almonds and other nuts4 ,when leaving the table at the conclusion of a meal elsewhere than in one's own house1 the chair is left without being pushed back close to the table4 ,,teas ,,in ,,the ,,country1 where the dinner is in the middle of the day1 the evening meal is called either supper or tea1 and an invitation to tea ordinarily means an invitation to the evening meal4 ,in ,england1 where afternoon tea-serving is universal among all classes1 the evening meal is frequently designated high tea4 ,the proprieties concerning afternoon tea are explained in the chapter entitled1 8,at ,homes40 ,,theater-,,parties ,,when ,a ,,theater-,,party is to be given1 it is not customary to use the engraved form of invitations1 but notes written in the first person suffice4 #ig ,hamilton ,street1 ,may #a1 #aiai ,my dear ,miss ,hammer3 ,will you give me the pleasure of dining with me on ,wednesday evening of next week1 at seven o'clock1 and of afterward witnessing the new play at the ,brooke ,theater8 ,in the hope that you are free that evening and kindly disposed toward my invitation1 ,i remain1 ,yours sincerely1 ,mary ,holmes ,to such an invitation1 the guest should return an immediate reply1 either of acceptance or rejection1 written in the first person1 after the manner of the other missive4 ,it is within the discretion of the host or hostess to secure orchestra seats1 or a box4 ,care should be taken1 in the case of a box1 not to have a sufficient number of guests to cause crowding4 ,the invitations should be sent out about a week before the evening of the party1 but a longer or shorter notice is permissible4 ,a bachelor may find it more convenient to give his invitations in person1 orally1 and such laxity is allowable on his part4 ,the giver of the entertainment may use his or her discretion in having attendance on the play preceded by an early dinner-party1 which may include all or only a part of his guests2 or having it followed by a supper-party4 ,or the theater alone may be deemed a sufficient entertainment4 ,very often1 a host orders an omnibus to collect his guests for a theater-party and to carry them to the theater1 and back home after the performance4 ,if this is done1 the invitation should specify the fact1 and notify the guest of the exact time of the omnibus's arrival4 ,when a man invites an unmarried woman to be his companion at the theater1 he is expected also to invite another woman1 either a relation or friend1 according to circumstances1 who shall act as chaperon4 ,but this rule is not too strictly enforced where a friendship exists between a man and a spinster of mature age4 ,it is the duty of the man to call in person for his guests1 and to provide them with fitting transportation to and from the theater4 ,on their arrival at the theater1 if the women leave their wraps in the cloak-room1 he also should check his hat and coat4 ,he allows the ladies to precede him1 and inside the theater secures programs for them1 and then gives his checks to the usher4 ,the usher now leads the way1 with the ladies following and the host bringing up the rear4 ,if he has retained his coat and hat1 he places his hat under the seat and lays the folded coat over the back of the chair or holds it across his knees4 ,he is careful always to retain the checks during the evening since lack of them might prove embarrassing if any error has been made in the seating arrangements1 as sometimes happens4 ,a man thus escorting ladies to the theater properly remains with them throughout the performance4 ,the only justifiable excuse for leaving them for a few minutes is when he occupies an aisle seat1 and then only when during an intermission a friend comes to pay his respects1 who can take his place until the rising of the curtain4 ,the man wears evening dress for the theater4 ,he should by no means appear in a tailless coat when acting as an escort for ladies1 or when a guest in a party that includes ladies4 ,he is permitted1 however1 to remove his gloves on arrival at the theater4 ,the silk hat is often inconvenient for theater purposes1 and for that reason the crush hat has been preferred4 ,but this folding form of headgear has lost its vogue to a great extent1 and there is a growing tendency toward the use of a black soft hat for such evening wear4 ,the more usual form of woman's dress is not the decollet of the ball-gown1 but a less extreme style1 with sleeves4 ,it is1 of course1 of such elegance as to suit the occasion4 ,but the low-neck and sleeveless gown is frequently to be seen1 more especially in the boxes4 ,with the less formal costume1 a hat is worn4 ,this and the veil may be removed in the cloak-room1 or1 if the wrap is retained1 it may be kept on until the seat is reached4 ,the outer garment is then folded and laid over the back of the chair4 ,after having seated herself1 the woman then unpins her veil and removes it1 together with the hat1 and these are afterward held in the lap4 ,if the arrival at the theater is a little late1 and the wraps are not left in the cloak-room1 it is the part of good taste to remove them before passing down the aisle to the seats4 ,otherwise1 their removal becomes an unpleasant interruption to those seated near by4 ,this same matter of consideration for the rights of others is the reason why it is necessary that the hats should be removed1 since it would shut off the view of the stage from those seated behind4 ,it should be borne in mind always1 also1 that this consideration for others should extend to the matter of conversation during the performance1 which must be rigidly suppressed4 ,care ought to be taken in every respect lest there be an impolite intrusion on the rights of others4 ,if there is supper in a restaurant after the play1 the wraps should be left in the cloak-room as a rule1 but a woman may retain one of a sort that is not cumbersome1 according to her pleasure4 ,the hat is not removed for the meal4 ,the veil may either be pushed up or taken off according to the individual preference4 ,the gloves are removed after the party is seated at table1 and kept in the lap under the napkin until the conclusion of the meal4 ,they are put on again before leaving the table4 ,,weddings ,,the ,,wedding-,,invitations are sent out fully two weeks before the marriage1 at least1 and they may be sent earlier1 up to a limit of two months4 ,the invitation is engraved on white paper1 of which there is a double sheet4 ,the invitation itself must occupy only the first page4 ,an average size is between seven and eight inches in length and about an inch less in width4 ,script is usually preferred4 ,the invitation is folded once and placed in an unsealed envelope with the guest's name written on it4 ,another envelope is used to contain this1 on which are written both the name and address1 and it is sealed for delivery by post or messenger4 ,it should be borne in mind that1 while husband and wife are joined in a single invitation1 other members of the family must be separately invited1 except that more than one daughter may be included under the designation ,the ,misses 444444444444444444441 and similarly more than one son1 ,the ,messrs4 444444444444444444444 ,otherwise1 a daughter receives an individual invitation1 as does also a son4 ,in cities1 on the occasion of church weddings where strangers often intrude1 it is common to inclose with the invitation a small card inscribed3 ,please present this card at the ,church of the ,incarnation on ,tuesday1 ,june the first ,a standard form for the wording of the invitation is as follows3 ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,henry ,l4 ,hudson request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter ,harriet to ,mr4 ,james ,meade ,trowbridge on ,tuesday afternoon1 ,june the first at half-past three o'clock ,the ,church of the ,incarnation ,baltimore ,the invitations are issued in the names of the bride's parents1 or1 lacking them1 in the name of her nearest relative1 unless this should be an unmarried sister4 ,when the invitations are issued by a brother1 his name only may be used1 even though he is married4 ,but where the relation is a married woman1 the name of the husband also appears on the invitations4 ,such invitations issued by some one other than the parents follow the form given above exactly1 save that the full name of the bride must be given instead of her ,christian name alone1 and1 of course1 the proper relationship must be indicated by a word substituted for daughter4 ,it is usual1 when the bride is a step-daughter1 to specify the relationship in the invitation4 ,thus1 in the form given above1 if ,harriet were the daughter of ,mrs4 ,hudson by a previous marriage1 the phrase would run1 at the marriage of ,mrs4 ,hudson's daughter1 ,harriet ,blake ,rothwell4 ,if she were the daughter of ,mr4 ,hudson1 the phrase would be1 at the marriage of ,mr4 ,hudson's daughter1 ,harriet4 ,the invitations to either a wedding-breakfast or reception is inclosed with the invitation to the ceremony1 but the engraved card is of the ordinary size4 ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,henry ,l4 ,hudson request the pleasure of 44444444444444444444444444 company on ,tuesday1 ,june first at half-past twelve o'clock ,thirty-six ,fremont ,avenue ,but often the name is omitted1 and the invitation may read simply3 ,reception ,from four o'clock ,thirty-six ,fremont ,avenue ,the initials ,r4s4v4p4 may be used in the lower left-hand corner of either form4 ,the only essential difference in the form of the invitation to a home-wedding is that instead of asking for the honor of your presence1 the request is for the pleasure of your company4 ,of course1 the home-address must be given at the end1 instead of the name of the church4 ,when the ceremony is to be performed in the presence of only a limited number of friends1 those who are to witness it receive with their invitation a small engraved card1 inscribed ,ceremony at three o'clock1 or whatever the hour may be4 ,announcement-cards1 following the celebration of a quiet wedding1 are sent out on the day of the marriage4 ,the paper used is the same as that for the invitations4 ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,henry ,l4 ,hudson have the honor of announcing the marriage of their daughter ,harriet to ,mr4 ,james ,meade ,trowbridge on ,tuesday1 ,june the first at the ,church of ,the ,incarnation ,a combination-card of bride and groom1 with their address1 and perhaps her at-home day1 may be inclosed with the announcement4 ,if1 for any reason1 the announcement-cards are not issued by the bride's relatives1 they may be sent out by the engaged pair1 using the bride's maiden name ,mr4 ,george ,hart ,bagot and ,miss ,mary ,elizabeth ,peck have the honor of announcing their marriage on ,monday1 ,june the seventh at the ,church of ,the ,incarnation ,albany ,unless the invitation to a wedding carries the letters ,r4s4v4p41 it does not require any reply1 but an invitation to the reception or breakfast should be acknowledged by two visiting-cards1 sent to the bride's parents1 when attendance is not possible or convenient4 ,an acceptance or declination is written in the third person1 and follows the corresponding form in reference to a dinner-invitation1 with the necessary verbal change1 substituting1 wedding-reception of their daughter1 for dinner4 ,no acknowledgment is required for announcement-cards2 but it is well to call on1 or leave cards for1 the bride's parents4 ,it is impossible to state exactly all the details in connection with the marriage-ceremony1 since the variations in personal taste and circumstances are such that the wedding may be fittingly celebrated in almost regal state1 with a dozen bridesmaids and everything else with like profusion1 or the rite may be carried out with a plainness and simplicity that yet perhaps yields a significance more touching than that of the gorgeous spectacle4 ,each circle in every community has its own accepted traditions1 and it is always better that these should be followed4 ,the vagaries of fashion may often tempt its votaries to extravagances in following the fads and fancies of the moment4 ,but there should be no frivolous tampering with the marriage rite1 which is proclaimed as a sacrament by the church1 and should be always esteemed as the most sacred act in the lives of those who thus make their covenants together4 ,it need only be added that for an evening wedding the bridegroom wears the regulation evening clothes1 while for an hour earlier in the day his costume includes a frock-coat of black or dark blue1 a black or white waistcoat1 and striped trousers of a lighter shade than the coat4 ,the scarf should be a white ascot1 caught with a pearl pin4 ,he wears patent-leather shoes and gray sude gloves4 ,a silk hat forms the headgear to accompany either the evening dress or the other4 ,a maiden bride should wear white and a veil of tulle with orange blossoms4 ,the gown may be decollet and sleeveless for an evening wedding4 ,a woman who has been married before may wear any color pleasing to her1 but not white1 and she must not veil herself1 nor display the orange blossoms4 ,a train properly distinguishes the wedding-gown4 ,on receipt of an invitation to a wedding1 any gift should be sent to the bride without delay4 ,there is no obligation on the part of a merely formal acquaintance to send a gift when invited to a church wedding1 but it is permissible4 ,such an obligation exists for one invited to the breakfast or reception1 as well as one to be among a limited number present at the actual marriage on the occasion of a home wedding4 ,sometimes1 those invited to a church wedding compromise by sending flowers4 ,the distinction between the maiden and the matron is again emphasized in the matter of the bouquet carried by the bride1 which for the maiden should be of white flowers1 such as lilies of the valley1 while for the woman it must be at least touched with color--perhaps of orchids4 ,illustration3 8,,made ,,easy0 ,,series ,,there is no royal road to learning4 ,,it is an old saying1 and a true one1 in a sense3 for prince and peasant must alike travel the path4 ,,yet1 there are many paths1 and great differences among them1 as they lead to the temple of knowledge4 ,in some1 the going is easy3 in some1 hard4 ,in some1 the journeying is pleasant and profitable3 in some1 toilsome--a weary scramble over many stumbling blocks4 ,,the builder of the road is the teacher4 ,it is his task to smooth the way1 and to make it straight3 or to leave it all cluttered1 a twisted1 haphazard course1 that runs roughly and reaches nowhere4 ,,in the 8,made ,easy0 ,series1 it has been the publisher's purpose to provide for the student the best possible road to learning--a road truly royal in its simplicity1 its worth3 a road wide and direct1 and free from foolish1 needless litter4 ,,the various writers of the books in the series have been chosen for their special fitness4 ,such fitness includes1 in the first place1 mastery of the particular subject3 in the second place1 ability to interpret knowledge to others4 ,,right teaching makes easy learning4 ,few subjects are really hard to learn1 when properly set before the pupil4 ,these volumes are the product of a painstaking care to simplify every detail of instruction1 yet to make it complete4 ,the result for the student is1 indeed1 a learning made easy1 yet none the less exact1 thorough1 wholly adequate for his needs4 99 99 99 99 99 ,the volumes now ready1 or in the course of preparation--price #a4jj each--are3 ,arithmetic ,made ,easy ,spelling ,made ,easy ,penmanship ,made ,easy ,grammar ,made ,easy ,drawing ,made ,easy ,dressmaking ,made ,easy ,dancing ,made ,easy ,etiquette ,made ,easy ,keeping ,young ,made ,easy ,love ,letters ,made ,easy ,shorthand ,made ,easy ,bookkeeping ,made ,easy ,entertaining ,made ,easy ,tricks and ,magic ,made ,easy ,mental ,healing ,made ,easy ,further titles will be added as opportunity presents itself to secure the proper type of manuscript4