,a ,,s*oolma/]',s ,,di>y ,! man :o looks at ?is view1 = ! fir/ "t1 ) ! nak$ eye1 sees f> m ( x ?an ! man :o looks at x = ! hundr$? "t ?r\gh smok$ glasses4 ,exp]i5ce is ! smoke on ! glasses2 x's ! curse ( our pr(ession4 ,we are all mu* m effici5t :5 we're "y ?an we ev] are aft]w>ds4 ,give me ! "y & inexp]i5c$ man4--,! ,lan*e/] ,tradition4 ,a ,,s*oolma/]',s ,,di>y ,,be+ ,,extracts ,,f ,,! ,,j\rnal ,,( ,,patrick ,,trah]ne1 ,m4,a41 ,,sometime ,,assi/ant ,,ma/] ,,at ,,rad*e/] ,,& ,,m>lton ,,select$ ,,& ,,edit$ ,,by ,s4 ,p4 ,b4 ,,mais ,,london ,,grant ,,ri*>ds ,,ltd ,,/4 ,,m>t9',s ,,/reet ,,mcmxviii ,,pr9t$ ,,9 ,,great ,,brita9 ,,at ,,! ,,complete ,,press ,,we/ ,,norwood ,,london ,,to ,,elspe? ,,trah]ne ,,)\t ,,^: ,,valuable ,,help ,i ,,%\ld ,,h ,,be5 ,,totally ,,at ,a ,,loss ,,:at ,,to ,,include ,,& ,,:at ,,to ,,omit ,,9 ,,memory ,,( ,,patrick ,,cont5ts ,,page ,,introductory ,,memoir #i ,,! ,,di>y3 ,i4 ,,septemb] #bj ,,to ,,decemb] #ca1 #aiji #ba ,,ii4 ,,janu>y #bj ,,to ,,april #c1 #aiaj #cg ,,iii4 ,,m>* #d ,,to ,,july #ca1 #aiaj #ed ,,iv4 ,,augu/ #aj ,,to ,,septemb] #ae1 #aiaj #gb ,v4 ,,octob] #a1 #aiaj1 ,,to ,,janu>y #ae1 #aiaa #ib ,,vi4 ,,m>* #c ,,to ,,may #d1 #aiaa #ajg ,,vii4 ,,june #d ,,to ,,augu/ #a1 #aiaa #abd ,,viii4 ,,augu/ #aj ,,to ,,septemb] #bf1 #aiaa #ade ,,ix4 ,,octob] #ac1 #aiaa1 ,,to ,,janu>y #ai1 #aiab #aea ,x4 ,,febru>y #bc ,,to ,,july #bi1 #aiab #afc ,,xi4 ,,augu/ #ab ,,to ,,decemb] #bj1 #aiab #ahj ,,xii4 ,,decemb] #ca1 #aiab1 ,,to ,,june #aa1 #aiac #aif ,,xiii4 ,,july #i ,,to ,,septemb] #ai1 #aiac #baa ,,xiv4 ,,octob] #d ,,to ,,decemb] #af1 #aiac #bah ,,xv4 ,,janu>y #ac ,,to ,,july #bd1 #aiad #bcb ,,xvi4 ,,septemb] #ag1 #aiad1 ,,to ,,may #d1 #aiae #bdd ,,xvii4 ,,july #ca1 #aiae1 ,,to ,,april #c1 #aiaf #bef ,,xviii4 ,,may #d1 #aiaf1 ,,to ,,april #c1 #aiag #bgj ,,app5dix #bhi ,,prologue--,,mod]n ,,%ell3 ,,to-,,day #bia ,,epilogue--,,mod]n ,,%ell3 ,,to-,,morr[ #cjg ,,introductory ,,memoir ,patrick ,trah]ne1 only son ( ! ,rev4 ,?omas ,trah]ne ( ,nor? ,d>ley ,vic>age1 ,d]by%ire1 0 born on ,july #ad1 #ahhe4 ,he 0 educat$ at ,rugby & ,new ,college1 ,ox=d1 & imm$iately ^u leav+ ! ,univ]sity he became a ,public ,s*ool ma/]4 ,i well rememb] my fir/ meet+ ) him4 ,x 0 dur+ my fir/ t]m at ,ox=d4 ,i _h be5 read+ ,c5turies ( ,m$itations & 9 p>ticul> ?is passage1 :i* ,i _c refra9 f quot+1 because to x ,i owe my fri5d%ip ) ,patrick3 ,y\r enjoym5t ( ! _w is nev] "r till e morn+ y wake 9 ,heav52 see y\rself 9 y\r ,fa!r's ,palace3 & look ^u ! skies1 ! e>?1 & ! air1 z ,cele/ial ,joys2 y nev] enjoy ! _w aright till ! sea itself fl[e? 9 y\r ve9s1 till y are clo!d ) ! heav5s & cr[n$ ) ! />s3 & p]ceive y\rself to be ! sole heir ( ! :ole _w1 & m ?an s1 because m5 are 9 x :o are e "o sole heirs z well z y4 ,till y c s+ & rejoice & delight 9 ,god z mis]s d 9 gold1 & k+s 9 sceptres1 y nev] enjoy ! _w4 ,till y\r _s fille? ! :ole _w & ! />s are y\r jewels3 till y are z famili> ) ! ways ( ,god 9 all ages z ) y\r walk & table3 till y love m5 s z to desire _! happ9ess ) a ?ir/ equal to ! zeal ( y\r own1 y nev] enjoy ! _w4 ,y nev] enjoy ! _w aright1 till y s love ! beauty ( enjoy+ x t y are covet\s & e>ne/ to p]suade o!rs to enjoy x4 ,!re is s mu* bl9dness & +ratitude & damn$ folly 9 x4 ,! _w is a mirror ( inf9ite ,beauty1 yet no man sees x4 ,x is a ,temple ( ,maje/y1 yet no man reg>ds x4 ,x is ! p>adise ( ,god1 ! place ( ,angels & ! ,gate ( ,heav54 ,i rememb] ru%+1 book 9 h&1 late at night to ,/apleton's rooms 7,/apleton 0 a s*ool-fri5d ( m9e1 :o _h come up ) me t t]m7 & read+ x to him z "o ( ! f9e/ ?+s ,i _h ev] *anc$ ^u4 ,aft] ,i _h f9i%$ ,i notic$ t he 0 n alone2 sitt+ 9 a f> corn]1 9 ! dep?s ( a ',v>sity *air1 ,i n[ saw a fair-hair$1 fre%-fac$ und]graduate :om ,i _h n up till t mom5t met4 ,he broke 9 ^u my en?usia/ic discov]y4 ,i am glad y l t1 he began4 ,x is n v well kn[n yet4 ,! au?or ( t book1 ,?omas ,trah]ne1 0 an ance/or ( m9e3 my "n is ,trah]ne too4 ,someh[ f t ev5+ ,i h always associat$ ,patrick ) t gl[+ passage4 ,we became fa/ fri5ds & = ! f\r ye>s we 7 at ,ox=d1 ,/apleton1 ,trah]ne & ,i sp5t all our sp>e "t toge!r4 ,we 7 kn[n1 = "s obscure reason1 z ,! ,?ree ,muskete]s4 ,we 7 none ( u brilliant s*ol>s1 b we 7 deeply int]e/$ 9 ! problems ( life3 we read a good deal 9 a desultory sort ( way1 b our ma9 occupation 0 a?letics4 ,we all play$ football1 t5nis1 hockey1 & cricket1 & manag$ to put 9 "s "t ) ! ,beagles & on ! track4 ,on ,sundays we us$ to roam f> & wide ov] ! c\ntry r\nd ,ox=d3 we 7 all lov]s ( ,nature & 7,i v5ture to ?9k7 9 e way q ord9>y und]graduates4 ,/apleton 0 tak+ ord]s1 :ile ,trah]ne & ,i meant to be s*oolma/]s4 ,we 7 jovial & irresponsible 9 ^? days & c]ta9ly did n take ourselves s]i\sly4 ,we 7 n 9 ! habit ( gett+ drunk1 b we 7 c]ta9ly n less r[dy ?an ! majority ( ! m5 ( our "t3 we enjoy$ life to ! full4 ,9 ! vacs we w\ld /ay ) "o ano!r 9 ,london 9 ord] to g ! r\nd ( ! !atres1 or we w\ld set out on walk+ t\rs ?r\gh ,wales or ,devon%ire4 ,i met ,trah]ne's p a good deal4 ,!y 7 q delightful1 simple-m9d$ folk1 :o took life z x came & always manag$ to see ! comic side ( ev]y?+4 ,i "k no h\se :]e peals ^u peals ( laught] 7 s frequ5t z 9 t vic>age ( ,nor? ,d>ley4 ,our f\r ye>s at ,ox=d pass$ all too quickly4 ,! o!r two manag$ to get a second class 9 _! f9als1 ,i j scrap$ a ?ird4 ,we !n sep>at$1 swe>+ h[ev] t no?+ %\ld really sep>ate u4 ,we wrote frequ5tly & at great l5g? to "o ano!r & tri$ to meet :5ev] possible4 ,gradually1 h[ev]1 we made new fri5ds & 7 seiz$ ) diff]5t int]e/s & someh[ we became less regul> 9 our correspond5ce & our meet+s4 ,x 0 n t we _h ceas$ to c>e = ea* o!r1 /ill less t out ( sight 0 out ( m9d--,i h nev] lov$ any man z ,i lov$ ,trah]ne1 b nev]!less we got out ( t\*4 ,i settl$ d[n q happily to my job at ,w9*bor\gh & became ! /]eotyp$ sort ( plodd+ s*oolma/]1 :ile ,/apleton pass$ f "o curacy to ano!r & f9ally _h ! good =tune to secure a liv+ ne> ,london4 ,s "t w5t on4 ,!n ,i began to notice ,trah]ne's "n 9 ! pap]s4 ,he _h ent]$ on 8 c>e] z a writ]4 ,he 0 always indefatigable1 ?\gh h[ he f\nd "t bo? to tea* & to write ,i don't "k4 ,fir/ ( all he edit$ s*ool books1 !n he wrote articles = ! educational pap]s2 soon ,i saw 8 "n atta*$ to critical pap]s 9 ! magaz9es & reviews3 he wrote middle-page articles = ! daily press & %ort /ories4 ,lat] ,i saw ! ann\ncem5t ( a book by him1 closely foll[$ by ano!r & !n a ?ird4 ,naturally all ?is int]e/$ me a good deal4 ,if he w\ld n write to me ,i /ill c\ld foll[ 8 c>e] ?r\gh 8 books4 ,i mu/ say1 h[ev]1 t ,i 0 slightly />tl$ at ! attitude he adopt$ 9 8 writ+s4 ,:5 ,i knew him he 0 ! *e]ie/ & mo/ mode/ ( m54 ,f 8 writ+s ! casual read] w\ld imag9e him to be a r$-hot fire-br&1 laun*+ out aga9/ all ! accept$ codes by :i* we live4 ,8 me?od 0 t ( cock-%y+ at a lot ( ,aunt ,sallies4 ,he d5\nc$ ev]y?+1 religion z at pres5t practis$1 education1 root & bran*1 ! curr5t codes ( morality1 ! laws1 politics--ev]y?+4 ,!re 0 a frightful ac]bity 9 8 language4 ,"o c\ld detect ! same boyi% ard\r :i* 0 ! f9e/ ?+ ab\t him if "o look$ c>efully & read betwe5 ! l9es1 b 8 judgm5ts 7 amaz+ly ill-consid]$4 ,he seem$ to lose all control ( himself :5 he took up 8 p54 ,i wrote to remon/rate b he r>ely repli$1 & :5 he did he w\ld alt]nately *ange f a tone ( humble apology to "o ( insol5t contempt4 ,x 0 easy to see t he 0 suff]+ f "s appall+ malady1 a re/lessness :i* ?reat5$ to de/roy all ! good t he 0 s anxi\s to d4 ,at la/ ! inevitable climax came3 9 a pite\s lett] he wrote to tell me t aft] eight ye>s he _h be5 ignom9i\sly turn$ out1 & t 8 c>e] z a s*oolma/] 0 at an end4 ,f ! language he us$ ,i fe>$ le/ he might be contemplat+ suicide1 b 8 wife 7:o is "o ( ! mo/ *>m+ wom5 ,i h ev] met & to :om he owes m ?an ev5 he w ev] realize7 kept him f t4 ,on ! o!r h&1 !re seem$ to be consid]able dang] ( 8 los+ 8 reason4 ,i w5t d[n to see him3 ,i nev] saw a man s alt]$3 he 0 completely brok54 ,i sat up ) him all ?r\gh "o night :ile he told me ! :ole /ory4 ,x appe>s t he creat$ enemies ?r\gh 8 tactlessness :]ev] he w5t4 ,boys on ! :ole ,i %\ld say1 f :at he said1 und]/ood him m or less1 8 pe]s n at all4 ,he 0 always discont5t$ ) ! av]age1 always dem&+ an in/ant mill5nium4 ,! w> cru%$ him1 ! wret*$ e/ate ( ! poor] classes cru%$ him1 ! lack ( intellig5ce among ! c\ntry p ) :om he liv$ cru%$ him1 8 colleagues' complac5ce t all 0 = ! be/ 9 ! be/ ( all possible worlds cru%$ him4 ,poor devil1 he mu/ h suff]$ frightfully4 ,he seem$ abnormally s5sitive4 ,! lea/ ?+ set him (f3 he always suspect$ t he _h no sympa?iz]s3 he consi/5tly manag$ to ali5ate ^? :o really 7 try+ _! be/ to help him4 ,all ?r\gh t night on :i* he p\r$ out 8 s\l to me ,i saw exactly h[ impossible x 0 = him to "w 9 conjunction ) any ord9>y body ( s*oolma/]s4 ,:at !y d5\nc$ z disloyalty 0 ) him hone/y2 he 0 s f]oci\sly en]getic t he c\ld nev] re/3 he mu/ h 8 w9dmill to tilt aga9/4 ,!re 0 no d\bt t he 0 f9d+ 8 break ) ,public ,s*ool life v real trag$y4 ,he 0 incapable ( look+ =w>d to any?+ else4 ,i did my be/ to console him1 to %[ him t life 0 only j beg9n+ = him3 b he swept away all ! crumbs ( consolation ,i produc$ & only j be=e ,i 0 leav+ did he sugge/ any way 9 :i* ,i c\ld help him4 ,i h besmir*$ my reputation1 he said m\rnfully4 ,i c't cle> myself4 ,w y try8 ,( c\rse ,i w1 b h[8 ,i repli$4 ,take ^!1 he said1 sudd5ly produc+ five /\t volumes4 ,"h is my di>y = ! la/ eight ye>s4 ,g ?r\gh x & select su* passages z y ?9k fit & %[ ! _w exactly :at mann] ( man ,i 03 ',speak ( me z ,i am3 no?+ ext5uate1 nor set d[n aught 9 malice2 !n mu/ y speak ( "o t lov$ n wisely b too well1' j ! b>e tru?4 ,ju/ice is :at ,i want1 n *>ity4 ,x 0 ! lea/ ,i c\ld d 444 & n[ = "s mon?s ,i h be5 engag$ ^u ?is /range task4 ,ev5 n[ ,i am afraid ,i h fail$4 ,^! di>ies 7 s incoh]5t1 s mu* prom95ce 0 giv5 to irrelevant matt]1 s little to ! ?\s& ?+s ,i want$ to "k1 b ,i h kept my promise1 & ?is book is ! result4 ,i wi% he c\ld h liv$ to see x 9 ! h&s ( ! public :o s misjudg$ him4 ,x is easy to see ! t5ets :i* ,trah]ne held mo/ de>3 he look$ ^u education z ! sav+ grace ( a nation or an individual4 ,! object ( education ) him 0 to develop imag9ation & sympa?y1 s t all m5 9 ! future %\ld realize ! value ( ,tru? & ,beauty1 & be tol]ant ( o!r m5's op9ions4 ,to ?is end he endeav\r$ to make 8 boys realize ! importance ( mak+ ! mo/ ( _! bra9s3 he rat$ ! intellect highe/ ( all4 ,he laid x d[n z a fundam5tal pr9ciple t ea* boy %\ld be enc\rag$ to be /rongly individual & ,i don't ?9k he q realiz$ ! dang]s :i* individualism br+s 9 its wake4 ,he hat$ tradition unless x c\ld be prov$ t x s]v$ "s useful purpose3 he 0 av]se f all =ms ( c]emonial4 ,consequ5tly he set 8 face aga9/ ! cult ( ,bloodism4 ,he does n seem 9 8 di>y at any rate to h dwelt on ! humor\s side ( 8 colleagues3 !re is v little description ( ! vag>ies ( diff]5t ma/]s1 :i* ,i h f\nd s extraord9>ily amus+ among my own acqua9tances 9 u%]dom4 ,he laid imm5se /ress on ! tea*+ ( ,engli% & enc\rag$ 8 boys to read omnivor\sly2 by ?is means alone1 he said1 c\ld !y be expect$ to le>n4 ,:]e he fail$ mo/ ( all 0 9 8 inability to suff] fools gladly3 he hat$ sloppy "w ei!r 9 colleague or boy2 if he _h only kept 8 hatr$ to himself1 x might h be5 all "r1 b he 0 too hone/1 too impetu\s4 ,he w\ld blurt out 8 natural feel+s ev]y:]e & expect ev]ybody to see 8 po9t ( view at once4 ,consid]+ all ?+s 8 colleagues 7 9 "s ways extremely long-suff]+1 = he 0 s s5sitive t out ( %e] n]v\sness & ineffectual ang] he w\ld %[ 8 wor/ side & hide 8 bett] nature4 ,he mu/ h seem$ to ^? :o only knew him sup]ficially to be "o mass ( contradictions4 ,take1 = in/ance1 8 read+4 ,he seems to h read ev]y?+ ( any note t appe>$ dur+ ^! eight ye>s1 b 8 judgm5ts on curr5t writ]s are ludicr\s3 he hails any new-com] z a great g5ius1 & yet at ! same "t he _h a nice & exact ta/e 9 ,engli% lit]ature & 9 talk+ c\ld tell y j ! /rong & weak po9ts ( all big writ]s4 ,9 8 writt5 criticism he seems to h no /&>ds at all4 ,z he himself says1 he 0 l a motor-c> )\t brakes4 ,8 motor-p[] 0 v high1 b he _h no control ov] x3 consequ5tly he 0 always runn+ away ) himself & f9i%+ up ) incr$ible sma%es :5ev] he />t$ out on a lit]>y or educational excursion4 ,i h be5 go+ ?r\gh 8 lett]s to me ( late1 b ,i h n f\nd any clue 9 !m to ! mania :i* has l$ to 8 d[nfall4 ,9 ! di>y1 on ! o!r h&1 he lets himself g2 ! con/ant friction1 ! unrealiz$ ideals f9d expression3 on ! surface1 9 8 lett]s to 8 fri5ds1 he 0 *>m+ly ligh!>t$ & humor\s4 ,"o w\ld nev] suspect ! sva indignatio :i* 0 ultimately to be 8 undo+1 9 any?+ b 8 publi%$ works4 ,i nev] met a man :o 0 s diff]5t 9 8 p]son f :at y w\ld expect aft] read+ 8 books4 ,to meet him at a d9n]-p>ty 9 ,london1 to accompany him on a walk+-t\r1 to play games ) him1 y w\ld nev] guess t he _h a c>e 9 ! _w4 ,he seem$ to enjoy life mu* 9 ! same way z 8 great ance/or1 ! my/ic1 did4 ,he 0 v dev\t1 x is true1 b 8 ,*ri/ianity 0 ( ! optimi/ic ,*e/]tonian sort1 a k9d ( prizefight]'s epicureanism1 ,eat1 dr9k1 & be m]ry1 b = ! ,"l's sake be c>eful n to get flabby4 ,b sudd5ly1 n s mu* 9 ! holidays z 9 t]m "t1 "s luckless creature w\ld q innoc5tly introduce ! topics ( ,socialism1 ,lib]ty1 ,religion1 ,morals1 or ,education1 & at once ,patrick w\ld flu% sc>let1 /amp up & d[n 8 rooms & call d[n fire f ,heav5 on e exi/+ in/itution4 ,i nev] came across su* an iconocla/4 ,we :o knew him und]/ood t 8 fr5zy 0 simply ! burn+ ard\r ( ! re=m] :o refuses to compromise3 he 0 conv9c$ t c]ta9 ideals 7 "r & c\ld n und]/& :y ! re/ ( mank9d did n imm$iately =sake _! old gods :5 he propagat$ 8 gospel ( ! new ones4 ,because he attempt$ to treat ! boys ) :om he came into contact z 8 intellectual equals1 & nev] snubb$ !m1 nev] puni%$ or rew>d$ !m1 he expect$ e o!r ma/] to employ ! same me?ods4 ,%[ 'em1 he w\ld say1 t !y've jolly well got to "w if !y want to get any?+ out ( life2 tell 'em t if !y "w to please a ma/]1 to avoid ! cane1 to secure a trump]y prize1 or = any o!r reason ?an t "w is a good ?+ 9 itself1 !y are committ+ an immoral & indec5t act1 & !n !re's j a *ance t ! intellect may gr[4 ,n "o boy 9 five hundr$ ev5 uses t5 p] c5t4 ( 8 bra9-cells3 ! av]age man or boy has no idea ( :at real "w means4 ,he kept a mo/ valuable notebook 9 :i* he jott$ d[n any views t comm5d$ !mselves to him out ( all ! books on education t appe>$4 ,i lov$ ,patrick m ?an any fri5d ,i h ev] _h4 ,i am a poor c\nsel = ! def5ce = t v reason4 ,i am m likely to d h>m to 8 cause ?an good by laud+ him 9 ?is way3 my duty is to let 8 di>y tell its own tale4 ,x is a docum5t ov] :i* ,i w\ld fa9 dwell at great l5g? & expla9 to y1 b t w\ld only s]ve to %[ t ,i fe>$ y\r v]dict4 ,i s5d x out to ! _w ) mu* trepidation le/ ,i %\ld ev5 n[ h s hack$ & curtail$ x t x fails to %[ ,trah]ne 9 8 true "*1 b ,i h ?is at lea/ to com=t me4 ,!re w be b few ( ^? :o already belong to ! noble/ pr(ession 9 ! _w or :o are %ortly to jo9 x :o w n d]ive help f ! light x %$s on a mo/ difficult task4 ,! s*oolma/] ( ! new age ne$s all ! assi/ance he c get4 ,patrick ,trah]ne de/roy$ himself 9 discov]+ :at he "h gives to ! _w1 b ! results ( 8 discov]ies may be m f>-rea*+ ?an he knew4 ,he 0 "o ( ^? :o are nev] happy unless !y are fight+2 ! end once atta9$ he w\ld be lo/4 ,x may well be t ! ,/ev5sonian maxim :i* 0 always s mu* 9 8 m9d c>ri$ him ?r\gh ev5 at 8 la/ mom5ts 7he 0 kill$ 9 ! battle ( ,cambrai1 ,decemb] #c1 #aiag71 ,aft] all to travel hopefully is a bett] ?+ ?an to arrive4 ,8 failure may be a bett] augury ?an success w\ld h be51 = 9 ! end ( all1 h n ! _w's failures be5 mo/ frequ5tly ! _w's r$eem]s8 ,i w\ld add fur!r t ,i _c br+ myself to acc$e to all 8 dicta4 ,_h he be5 p]mitt$ to live1 exp]i5ce w\ld h surely %[n him t 8 y\?ful judgm5ts are n infrequ5tly grossly unfair2 b ,i ma9ta9 t 8 !ories are n necess>ily less int]e/+ because !y are1 9 _m cases1 errone\s4 ,s4 ,p4 ,b4 ,m4 ,! names bo? ( p & places m5tion$ 9 ?is book are entirely fictiti\s4 ,patrick ,trah]ne did n portray any specific ,public ,s*ool or liv+ p]son 9 8 di>y4 ,,! ,,beg9n+ 7#aiji74 ,p4 ,t4 quot+ ,william ,blake3 ,i w n cease f m5tal fight ,nor %all my sword sleep 9 my h& ,till we h built ,j]usalem ,9 ,engl&'s gre5 & pleasant l&4 ,,! ,,end 7#aiag74 ,p4 ,t4 quot+ ,t4 ,w4 ,h4 ,crosl&3 ,if ,i %\ld ev] be 9 ,engl&'s ?\ght ,aft] ,i die1 ,say1 ,!re 7 _m ?+s he might h b\ght ,& did n buy4 ,unhon\r$ by 8 fell[s he grew old ,& trod ! pa? to hell1 ,b !re 7 _m ?+s he might h sold ,& did n sell4 ,i ,septemb] #bj1 #aiji ,x is v /range & fright5+3 all ! boys seem to me to be gr[n m5 & ,i1 a v]itable m9n[ 9 a sea ( ,tritons1 b ,i suppose really !y are q bov9e & reg>d me mu* z c[s reg>d human be+s--z _! natural ma/]4 ,i wond]6 ,i confess ,i am 9 a panic ab\t my ability to keep ord]4 ,on sev]al nights 9 ! vac ,i _h nightm>es ( classes ( unruly boys refus+ to obey me1 %\t+1 ?r[+ ?+s ab\t & g5]ally mak+ nuisances ( !mselves & a fool ( me4 ,my fir/ impressions ( ,rad*e/] are n v com=t+4 ,x is l com+ to a des]t isl& to be pit*=k$ out at a wayside /ation miles f any:]e1 ) only ! sea to ! ea/1 & flat dike-l&s to ! we/1 nor?1 & s\?4 ,!re are no h\ses )9 sight4 ,c]ta9ly !re is no?+ to di/ract "o's att5tion f "o's duty3 outside ! lodge gates all is b>r54 ,! fir/ ?+ = me to d is to furni% my rooms4 ,alas1 :]e am ,i to procure ! means to d ?is8 ,at pres5t 9 my sitt+-room !re is no?+ b a fray$ c>pet1 a few rickety *airs1 a table1 un/able on its legs1 & an enorm\s bookcase & cupbo>d comb9$4 ,my b$room is ugly1 b>e & damp1 ) no fireplace4 ,app>5tly !y enc\rage u to be ,sp>tan 9 our mode ( liv+ "h4 ,h[ diff]5t f ! ,ox=d ( ?ree mon?s ago4 ,i _h a long talk ) ! ,head ,ma/] to-night4 ,he is an impos+-look+ man1 a s\nd discipl9>ian ,i %\ld imag9e1 "o :o gives no qu>t]4 ,x is h>d to associate him ) ! prie/hood4 ,he has less ( ! cl]gyman 9 him ?an any p>son ,i h ev] met4 ,he gave me _m tips ab\t my "w & laid /ress 9 e o!r s5t5ce ab\t ! necessity ( ex]cis+ firmness f ! />t4 ,he obvi\sly looks ^u me z will+1 b lack+ 9 exp]i5ce & s*ol>%ip4 ,i appe> to h be5 select$ r on a?letic ?an intellectual gr\nds4 ,my ,blue has ga9$ = me ?is important po/ & ,i am evid5tly expect$ to play games daily4 ,well1 ,i %an't m9d t2 ,i _c conceive h[ m5 exi/ )\t daily ex]cise4 ,?ank ,heav51 ,i'm n 9 an (fice4 ,aft] all1 #aej a ye> & my keep is q an adequate sal>y = a man ( tw5ty-f\r )\t encumbrances4 ,!re is some?+ mona/ic ab\t ! life "h3 only "o o!r ma/] except ! ,*ief is m>ri$3 wom5 are obvi\sly n enc\rag$4 ,! /aff live = ! mo/ "p 9 ,common ,room3 we breakfa/ & d9e !re1 h lun* 9 ! ,s*ool ,d9+ ,hall ) ! boys1 & h tea 9 our own rooms4 ,i got my fir/ impressions ( my colleagues at d9n] to-night4 ,mo/ ( !m 7 v hil>i\s & good-hum\r$1 full ( talk ab\t ! ,alps1 ,scotl&1 ,cornwall1 cricket t\rs1 golf1 climbs1 ba?+1 fi%+ & e sort ( outdoor pursuit 9 :i* !y _h indulg$ dur+ ! la/ eight weeks4 ,!y 7 all obvi\sly glad to see ea* o!r & be back at "w4 ,someh[ !y didn't /rike me z be+ typical u%]s at all4 ,q a doz5 ( !m appe> to be m5 ab\t my own age1 heal?y1 jovial & )\t a c>e4 ,"o or two ( ! old] m5 look hagg>d & wan1 b !n aga9 o!rs look l prosp]\s g5tlem5-f>m]s or c\ntry squires1 hale1 he>ty1 well f$ & cont5t$4 ,aft] d9n] ,hall[s1 :o is games ma/] 7an old capta9 ( ! ,ox=d ,rugg] team71 ask$ me to 8 rooms3 "s half-doz5 ( u sat !re dr9k+ :isky & smok+ until *apel-"t4 ,!y 7 all g5ial & fri5dly & we talk$ ma9ly ab\t hi/oric incid5ts 9 bygone ,int]-,univ]sity mat*es4 ,9 *apel ,i saw ! :ole s*ool = ! fir/ "t4 ,i 0 exce$+ly n]v\s & imag9$ myself to be ! cynosure ( all eyes4 ,i ?\ght t !y 7 all tak+ /ock ( me & siz+ me up4 ,i mu/ rememb] to be /rict f ! v beg9n+4 ,! />t is ev]y?+4 ,septemb] #bg1 #aiji ,i am gradually gett+ us$ to ! r\t9e4 ,c]ta9ly ! break+ ( ! ice 0 v try+4 ,luckily ,i _h prep>$ my lessons c>efully be=e ,i w5t into =m1 s ,i _h pl5ty to say1 :i* prev5t$ my extreme n]v\sness f be+ too app>5t1 & ,i puni%$ two boys heavily = talk+ :ile ,i 0 try+ to tea*4 ,on ! :ole mo/ ( !m appe> to be tractable4 ,:at does amaze me is _! abysmal ignorance4 ,= ! fir/ few days ,i 0 talk+ ov] _! heads ! :ole "t4 ,9 ma!matics ,i w5t too fa/4 ,9 ,engli% ,i took x = grant$ t !y knew some?+ ab\t ! subject3 ,i am gradually f9d+ out t !y "k no?+4 ,:at is worse1 only a v few ( !m want to "k any?+4 ,!y exhau/ all _! en]gies & ke5ness on games3 !y h none left = "w4 ,x is look$ ^u z a gross brea* ( good =m to take any?+ b ! mo/ p]functory int]e/ 9 class4 ,i f9d t ,i am fall+ into ! mo/ insidi\s ( traps4 ,i am pick+ out fav\rites4 ,!re are two boys1 ,b5b[ & ,ill+wor?1 bo? 9 my ,engli% set1 :o h %[n up essays q outside ! common3 !y c>e ab\t ?+s3 !y read3 !y express a novel po9t ( view3 !y are rebels aga9/ tradition4 ,i h giv5 !m ! run ( my rooms & implor$ !m to borr[ :at books !y l f my %elves & to come to tea :5ev] !y l4 ,i am beg9n+ to f9d t ,i pref] ! company ( boys to t ( my colleagues4 ,mo/ ( ! /aff seem to h rea*$ ! limit ( _! le>n+ :5 !y took _! ,f9als4 ,my ,f9als only s]v$ to %[ me :at an ignorant ass ,i am4 ,p]haps x's a good ?+ to take a l[ class 9 s*ools4 ,at any rate x leaves y "u no false impression z to y\r own level ( intellig5ce & atta9m5ts4 ,a week ( ?is life has taught me q a numb] ( useful ?+s3 7#a7 ,t x is q easy to keep ord]4 ,a numb] ( m5 "h get p]si/5tly ragg$1 b t seems to me to be due to _! lack ( hum\r1 _! unc]ta9 temp]1 & _! misund]/&+ ( ! boy m9d4 7#b7 ,i hate hav+ to correct "w at night4 ,x is m]ely a me*anical drudg]y & does ! boy no good1 = he does n /rive to und]/& a mi/ake unless y correct x :ile he is ) y1 & "o w\ld be f> bett] employ$ read+4 ,correction ( ex]cises mu/ h be5 in/itut$ to prev5t ma/]s f gett+ into mis*ief 9 _! idle h\rs4 7#c7 ,i dislike compulsory *apel4 ,i l s]vices :5 ,i d n feel b\nd to g3 !y become m]ely a mean+less j+le ( words :5 "o is =c$ to att5d :5 "o is n 9 ! mood4 7#d7 ,i love play+ foot] ) ! ,h\se e day4 ,i h got to "k already q intimately a numb] ( boys :om ,i %\ld h reg>d$ z wa/]s 9 =m4 ,?is seems to me to prove t a ma/] %\ld %>e s f> z he c 9 e activity 9 ord] to try to get at ! po9t ( view ( ! boys f e angle4 ,i h !re=e jo9$ ! ,corps1 ! ,debat+ ,society & ! ,*oir4 7#e7 ,i object int5sely to ! m>k sy/em4 ,x inculcates selfi%ness1 de/roys any *ance ( gett+ any co-op]ative _s 9 a =m1 & is ?or\ghly immoral4 ,x t5ds to make boys "w f a m]c5>y motive3 !y ?9k ( no?+ b rew>ds & puni%m5ts3 !y ev5 *eat :5 !y get ! *ance 9 ord] to rise to a high place 9 ! week's ord]4 ,^! ord]s bo!r me4 ,e ,saturday night we h to collect all sorts ( m>ks f o!r ma/]s1 scale & readju/ !m & produce an ord]1 :i* takes up ab\t two h\rs ( valuable "t4 ,i don't m9d giv+ up "t to any useful end1 b ,i d res5t do+ s = a s5seless "o4 ,novemb] #aiji ,! mona/ic sy/em is gett+ on my n]ves4 ,i f9d myself long+ to he> a baby cry+1 a girl laugh+1 or any noises ( ! /reet4 ,we are too mu* alo( f ! outside _w4 ,i ?\ght read+ w\ld be a suffici5t antidote4 ,mo/ ( my colleagues don't read at all4 ,!y hav5't "t4 ,lately ,i h tak5 to go+ (f to ,sc>bor\gh on ,saturday ev5+s1 treat+ myself to a good d9n] at ! ,reg5t 7we are all[$ no dr9ks 9 ,common ,room except wat]3 ,hall[s alone dr9ks seltz]71 & !n go+ on to a %[ at ! !atre or prom5ad+ ! ,w9t] ,g>d5s & wat*+ ! %op-girls & m5 dance4 ,^! p h an irresi/ible fasc9ation = me4 ,x is a wond]ful relaxation to *att] amiably to ^! girls & m51 & he> _! po9t ( view ( life1 s _m poles ap>t f t ( ! ,rad*e/] ,common ,room4 ,f "o ( ^! 9 p>ticul>1 a v pretty girl ( ab\t eighte51 ) masses ( corn-col\r$ hair & violet eyes1 a complexion l a ,devon dairymaid & a figure light z a fairy1 ,i h le>nt a good deal ( ano!r side ( life4 ,h] "n is ,v]a ,buckley3 %e works 9 a l>ge mill9]'s %op4 ,we meet & dance toge!r n[ e ,saturday night4 ,at fir/ :5 %e le>nt t ,i 0 a s*oolma/] at ,rad*e/] %e 0 suspici\s & cold1 b n[ we are firm fri5ds & %e talks unflagg+ly ab\t h] hopes & fe>s1 h] likes & dislikes4 ,%e is a welcome *ange f ! ,tap]s & ,tadpoles ( ,common ,room1 :o argue int]m9ably ^u ! day's play & ! moral defalcations ( boys 9 _! respective h\ses & =ms4 ,i d9$ ) ! ,head ,ma/] la/ night & f\nd myself quot+ f a new book on education4 ,j be=e ,i left1 he took me aside & said1 ,! less y read ab\t education ! bett]4 ,all ?is new-fangl$ talk ab\t new ideas cuts at ! v roots ( ! great tradition on :i* ! ,public ,s*ools 7 built up4 ,i nev] engage a man :o has tak5 a diploma 9 ! !ory ( education3 he c nev] keep ord]1 he c't tea*1 he makes ! boys rebel aga9/ _! lot & is altoge!r v dang]\s4 ,i l y\r ke5ness & ,i ?9k y h made a good beg9n+1 b ,i w>n y n[ aga9/ ?9k+ t !re is any re=m ne$$1 & sugge/ t y read no m ^u a subject :i* y are call$ ^u to practise1 n to !orise ab\t4 ,i attempt$ a def5ce b he refus$ to li/54 ,patt+ me g5tly on ! back he said1 q k9dly1 ,:5 y are my age y'll see ! tru? ( :at ,i've be5 tell+ y3 y\? is always 9 a great hurry to br+ ab\t ! mill5nium4 ,x nev] realizes t no mill5nium c be br\ght ab\t by m]ely de/ructive criticism4 ,rememb] t all ^! writ]s are outside ! pr(ession & are writ+ 9 total ignorance ( ! conditions "u :i* we lab\r4 ,he succe$$ 9 mak+ me feel v arrogant1 v y\?ful1 & v mu* ( a fool4 ,aft] all he has "s "r on 8 side4 ,boys d und]/& ! sy/em ( m>ks & ( puni%m5t & ,i suppose ! way ( lea/ resi/ance is ! be/4 ,anyway x is f> easi] to make a boy "w ?r\gh fe> ?an x is ?r\gh love ( ! "w3 to r\se en?usiasm 9 ! "w itself is an exce$+ly ardu\s bus9ess4 ,! difficulty is t ,i hate ! idea ( can+ a boy almo/ z mu* z "s ( ! /aff reli% x4 ,!y satisfy a sort ( be/ial lu/ by la%+ a small boy & he>+ him yell4 ,!y w\ld be horrifi$ at ! sugge/ion1 b ,i am c]ta9 t ?is is true4 ,"o has only to wat* a man's eyes :5 he gives an acc\nt ( "s ( 8 m successful ef=ts 9 ?is direction4 ,on ! o!r h&1 ,i firmly believe t !re is a type ( boy :o c und]/& no o!r =m ( treatm5t4 ,i only wi% su* types w\ld n come "u my jurisdiction4 ,i f9d t ,i am becom+ unpopul> ) ,hall[s4 ,"o v wet aft]noon ,i organiz$ a pap]-*ase :i* 0 an ov]:elm+ success3 ab\t two hundr$ boys turn$ out & we caught ! h>es ab\t f\r o'clock1 aft] a v tricky run ov] a well-laid c\rse4 ,un=tunately e "o 0 late = roll4 ,by gett+ up ?is ent]ta9m5t on a half :5 !re 0 no?+ else to d ,i f\nd myself laun*$ into ab\t six r[s4 ,app>5tly e boy has to pass ! doctor be=e he is all[$ to run on a pap]-*ase2 :ips _h n be5 arrang$ = to see t ! lagg]s did n drop out en r\te & f9d solace 9 a cottage or public-h\se2 ,i _h no li/ ( />t]s to comp>e ) ^? :o f9i%$ to see :e!r any runn]s _h di$ by ! wayside1 &1 mo/ flagrant ( all1 ,i _h upset roll4 ,i am afraid ,i %all nev] he> ! la/ ( ?is4 ,hall[s refuses to speak to me1 b mo/ l\dly & po9t$ly speaks ( me 9 no unc]ta9 tone ( voice :5ev] ,i ent] ,common ,room3 ! direct up%ot is t pap]-*ases are to be made compulsory on days :5 !re are no games1 & a pr9t$ li/ ( rules to ?is end has be5 put up on ! s*ool bo>d4 ,i suspect t ,hall[s fram$ !m1 = !y are calculat$ to remove any innoc5t pleasure t any boy might h d]iv$ f cross-c\ntry runn+ & implant 9 8 he>t an undy+ dete/ation ( ?is p>ticul> bran* ( ex]cise4 ,i am afraid ! tru? is t ,hall[s is jeal\s3 ,i _h ov]/epp$ my prov9ce 9 gett+ up ?is run4 ,he is ! manag] ( all ! s*ool a?letics & ,i _h committ$ an un=givable (f5ce 9 n ask+ 8 leave4 ,i am beg9n+ to see signs ( mutual jeal\sy ev]y:]e4 ,ea* tutor criticizes e o!r ma/]'s me?od ( tea*+1 comp>+ x 7adv]sely1 ( c\rse7 ) 8 own4 ,h\se-ma/]s res5t any humane int]c\rse betwe5 memb]s ( _! h\ses & junior assi/ant ma/]s1 ?\gh by ! laws ( common s5se x w\ld seem obvi\s t ! s5ior boys w\ld pref] ! society ( m5 only a little old] ?an !mselves z likely to be m 9 sympa?y ) _! ideas1 m helpful 9 _! tr\bles ?an ! eld] memb]s ( ! /aff :om !y1 q rightly1 place on an unapproa*able p$e/al4 ,decemb] #aiji ,n[ t exam9ations are ^u u ,i h be5 attempt+ to revise my ma!matical & ,engli% "w1 ) appall+ results4 ,my ma?4 sets appe> to h le>nt no?+3 j a glimpse "h & !re ( an idea1 all mix$ up ) ! mo/ amaz+ nons5se4 ,i mu/ h gone too fa/4 ,"s ( !m h c]ta9ly tri$ to "w4 ,p]haps x is t ma!matics is n ! ,que5 ( ,sci5ces1 aft] all1 at any rate = ! un=m$ m9d4 ,i "k t 9 my own s*ool days ,i 0 successful at x ow+ to a natural aptitude )\t und]/&+ 9 ! lea/ its practical usefulness4 ,!re are boys :o g aga9 & aga9 ov] ! same gr\nd1 t]m aft] t]m1 work+ out quadratic equations1 =midable & unwieldy algebraic fractions1 solv+ problems ab\t triangles1 p>allelograms & circles q me*anically & p]fectly )\t ! gho/ ( an idea z to :at !y all mean or :at be>+ !y h on practical life4 ,!y are1 if que/ion$1 cont5t to talk ab\t m5tal discipl9e & ! m odi\s a task is ! bett] x is = "o's education 9 a mann] unbe>ably priggi% & fooli%4 ,if a boy c "w out a hundr$ examples correct to type1 mo/ ( u seem to ?9k t we are tea*+ him some?+4 ,on ! contr>y1 ,i believe t ! only po9t 9 ma!matical tea*+ is ! tra9+ ( ! m9d to ?9k logically & exactly1 & to detect all vague & %all[ fallacies 9 argum5t or writ+4 ,accord+ to ?is !ory ! bett] a boy 0 at ma!matics ! bett] he w\ld be at ,engli%1 :]eas ! tru? is t ! able ma!matician is r>ely able to express himself 9 writ+ at all1 & c]ta9ly is n rem>kable = simplicity or direct reason+ p[] 9 8 essays4 ,x nev] /rikes u t if a boy is capable ( work+ out an intricate equation he ought to be able to build up a p>agraph ( c>efully connect$ s5t5ces1 all sequ5t & work+ to "s def9ite solution or pro(4 ,i am com+ to ! conclusion t all true education is a /riv+ aft] ,beauty1 & :at does n actively pursue ?is end is a wa/e ( ef=t4 ,no soon] d ,i rea* ?is idea ?an ,i beg9 to wond] :at c h induc$ our =efa!rs to erect su* a hide\s /ructure z ,rad*e/]1 9 ! middle ( s b>r51 ugly1 & t]rify+ a c\ntry4 ,surely !re c be no m depress+ di/rict 9 ,engl& ?an ! c\ntry r\nd ! s*ool4 ,on ,sundays ,i occasionally g = walks1 b ,i nev] return )\t be+ obsess$ by ! gloom & drabness ( x all4 ,if ,i walk d[n ! sea%ore ,i see no?+ b a b>e wa/e ( grey wat]s1 reliev$ by an int]m9able /ret* ( s&4 ,!re are no gorge\s col\r+s on sea or l&1 su* z we expect f ! sea & get 9 ,devon & ,cornwall4 ,if ,i g inl& ,i h no alt]native b to tramp ov] muddy fields ! grass ( :i* is z col\rless z ! sea1 & ! only v>iety to ! monotony ( ! level /ret* is a w9d-swept nak$ tree1 wan & hagg>d z an old tramp :o has be5 buffet$ by ,nature too long to c>e ab\t 8 p]sonal appe>ance3 if ,i take to ! roads ,i am imm$iately l$ to contra/ ! solit>y deadness ( ^! /raight lanes1 :]e y "k = miles exactly :at is com+1 ) ! ri* lanes ( ! s\?1 ) _! high h$ges1 a riot ( col\r & song1 deviat+ romantically e few y>ds1 up & d[n1 r\nd & r\nd1 ev] call+ y on to explore "s gem :i* an all-provid5t ,nature has built = y j r\nd ! corn]4 ,!re are no my/]ies to be explor$ 9 ! vic9ity ( ,rad*e/] unless y dive d[n a dra94 ,x is n /range t ! cult ( ,beauty is neglect$ 9 su* a place1 = :]e is ,beauty to be f\nd8 ,! answ] ,i f9d )9 my rooms3 only 9 my books & my few *os5 fri5ds among ! boys c ,i rid myself ( ! discont5t :i* is s p]si/5tly see?+ )9 me4 ,p]haps ,i %\ld make an exception 9 ! matt] ( games2 ,i love /r5u\s ex]cise b ,i object to mak+ football my ,god1 z s _m ( my fri5ds d4 ,! boys1 at any rate 9 ! pres5ce ( ma/]s1 talk ( little else4 ,_! only o!r topic ( conv]sation is ! *>act]s ( _! o!r ma/]s1 :i* is insidi\s & delightful1 b sav\r+ too mu* ( disloyalty & sc&al-mong]+4 ,"o ( ! ?+s ,i h enjoy$ mo/ ?is t]m has be5 ! ,o4,t4,c4 ,all memb]s ( ,common ,room1 by an excell5t rule "h1 h fir/ to s]ve 9 ! ranks4 ,i h got to "k ! boys 9 ?is ,h\se inf9itely bett] by mix+ ) !m on p>ades & field days z a private ?an ,i ev] %\ld h by any o!r means3 !y seem to =get all s5se ( diff]5ce & talk glibly & unconsci\sly ab\t all sorts ( topics t normally w\ld n crop up betwe5 ma/] & pupil4 ,!y no long] re/ra9 _! language q 9 ! same way !y d be=e a ma/]4 ,i imag9e t pretty vigor\s swe>+ is preval5t 9 all s*ools3 x seems to add a picturesqu5ess to _! vocabul>y :i* w\ld be entirely lack+ o!rwise1 = a boy's paucity ( or?odox adjectives is a/oni%+4 ,he is exactly on a p> ) ! f>m lab\r] 9 ?is respect4 ,he swe>s simply because he has no o!r language to fall back ^u4 ,x is n 8 fault s mu* z ! ma/]'s4 ,s f> z ,i c ga!r no subject seems to be s badly mi%&l$ z ! "m tongue4 ,! av]age boy is expect$ to write ,lat9 prose & is can$ = a false quantity 9 v]ses4 ,he tries 8 h& at orig9al v]se composition 9 bo? ,lat9 & ,greek3 no "o ?9ks ( ask+ him to write poetry 9 ,engli%1 & :5 he does he is look$ ^u z a freak4 ,x seems a mo/ topsy-turvy sy/em3 he sp5ds at lea/ "o h\r e day at ,lat93 to ,engli% 7( :i* he kn[s no?+7 he devotes two h\rs a week & dur+ ^? two h\rs 8 ma/]s don't "k :at to tea* him4 ,"s sp5d ! "t 9 p>s+ & analys+1 ?\gh :at utilit>ian b5efits are to accrue h]eaft] f ^! x w\ld be h>d to see4 ,o!rs read a play ( ,%akespe>e1 :i* is a euphemism = note-tak+ & note-le>n+1 a philological disc\rse or an ex]cise 9 repetition2 o!rs aga9 read out notes on ! ,m5delian !ory1 :i* !y call a skeleton1 & require ! =m to clo! ?is skeleton & reproduce x 9 ! =m ( an essay4 ,i f9d t all my ,engli% lessons ?is t]m h be5 ( ! nature ( t5tative exp]im5ts4 ,fir/ ,i read a play ( ,%akespe>e v rapidly1 allott+ p>ts to e memb] ( ! =m4 ,my fir/ %ock 0 to discov] t n "o ( !m c\ld read al\d4 ,!y 7 afraid ( _! own voices3 !y gabbl$ ?r\gh _! p>ts at top spe$ )\t pay+ any att5tion to ! punctuation or attempt+ to express emotion4 ,!n ,i decid$ to make !m come out & try to act ! play ) ! books 9 _! h&s4 ,?is 0 look$ ^u z a grave dep>ture f prec$5t & an opportunity = ragg+4 ,:5 ,i po9t$ out t !re 0 pl5ty ( *ance = a display ( horse-play 9 ! cr[d sc5es 9 ,julius ,cs> & ,coriolanus1 !y possess$ !mselves 9 pati5ce until ! "t to read ^! plays4 ,heav5s6 ,h[ !y lov$ ! mob sc5es4 ,"h 0 some?+ aft] _! own he>ts4 ,at la/ ,i _h r\s$ _! int]e/s4 ,mo/ ( ! comic sc5es fell v flat & s did all ! m long-w9d$ spee*es1 b once !re 0 a call = an upro> or a pageant !y 7 z pleas$ z ,pun*4 ,i h n[ discov]$ t ! only way to read plays is to g /raight ahead & disreg>d all difficult passages & notes & get !m amus$ & ke5 to p]=m4 ,incid5tally1 x makes !m f> ke5] if !y are p]mitt$ to dress ! "p4 ,9 ,%e ,/oops to ,conqu] & ,! ,knight ( ! ,burn+ ,pe/le ,i _h !m all 9 %rieks ( laught]4 ,b n[1 z ,i said1 exam9ations are at h& & woe is me4 ,i'm afraid !y won't be able to answ] any?+4 ,p]haps _! ideas ( ! *>act]s may be m s\nd ?an if !y le>nt !m second-h& f ,mr4 ,v]ity1 b !y'll get badly pipp$ on hi/orical inaccuracies & difficult contexts4 ,!n aga91 h[ am ,i to expect !m sudd5ly to produce an essay on ,t[n & ,c\ntry1 or ,conscription1 or ,capital ,puni%m5t :5 ,i've always giv5 !m c>te blan*e to write %ort /ories1 or imag9>y dialogues1 or "o-act plays or orig9al v]ses on any subject "u heav58 ,i ?9k ,i'm go+ to hate exam9ations4 ,i wi% we c\ld disp5se ) !m altoge!r4 ,mo/ ( ! /aff appe> to revise all ! "w ( ! fir/ two mon?s 9 ! ?ird mon?1 & s get _! pupils ?or\ghly tir$ & /ale ( ! t9y scrap ( gr\nd !y h cov]$ & re-cov]$ until !y h worn x ?readb>e4 ,decemb] #ca1 #aiji ,:5 x came to ! end ( t]m ,i 0 amaz+ly loa? to leave ,rad*e/]4 ,9 spite ( ! gha/ly ugl9ess ( ! c\ntry1 ! bitt] w9ds f :i* !re is no refuge1 unsympa!tic colleagues 7someh[ ,i seem to h ali5at$ mo/ ( ! eld] memb]s ( ,common ,room7 & ! %att]+ ( sev]al ( my ideals1 ,i _c d5y t ,i h enjoy$ my fir/ t]m z a ,public ,s*ool ma/] imm5sely4 ,i h n rid myself ( my n]v\s fe> le/ my =ms %\ld rise aga9/ me & rag me z !y rag poor old ,p5nyfea!r & ,de>d52 ,i c]ta9ly did n ga9 mu* kudos f ! results ( ! exam9ations1 ei!r 9 ma!matics or 9 ,engli%2 _m ( ! boys dislike my me?ods & d ! m9imum ( "w necess>y to evade puni%m5t1 yet ,i h made a few firm fri5ds2 ,i h l$ a heal?y life1 ,i h read a good _m books1 & ,i am z ke5 z mu/>d to prove my ability to tea*4 ,b5b[ & ,ill+wor? h ea* writt5 to me & ,i f9d t ,i treasure lett]s f boys above all o!rs4 ,:]e o!r m5 ( my age fall 9 love ) girls ,i suppose ,i give my affections to ^? boys :o %[ promise 9 ,engli% & take advantage ( ! seclusion ( my rooms to come & p\r out _! petty worries & ask = advice4 ,i h be5 read+ some:]e ( late t x is a dreadful ?+ = a man ) any bra9s to live always 9 ! society ( o!rs less mature ?an himself3 he becomes didactic & 9 e way obnoxi\s3 ,i "k t ,*>les ,lamb 0 n alone 9 fly+ f ! pres5ce ( all s*oolma/]s3 !re is a di/9ctly noticeable trait 9 u1 z a pr(ession1 :i* makes u want to tea* & advise1 to lay d[n ! law3 x is a habit aga9/ :i* ,i mu/ mo/ c>efully gu>d4 ,on ! o!r h&1 always be+ ) cr[ds ( heal?y y\ng/]s c]ta9ly t5ds to keep a man "y3 !re are v few responsibilities1 ,i am cat]$ =1 ,i pay no rates or taxes1 ,i h #aej a ye> to sp5d on books1 clo!s1 travel1 & any o!r incid5tal exp5ses ,i l3 ,i h long] holidays ?an any o!r pr(essional man3 = f\r mon?s 9 ! ye> ,i am free to d :atev] ,i l4 ,( c\rse ,i %all nev] be able to m>ry1 nev] h sons & daught]s ( my own4 ,b !n1 z ,i nev] see a girl ( my own class at ,rad*e/]1 ,i am nev] likely to want to settle d[n to dome/ic life4 ,aft] all1 in/ead ( "o wife & a few *ildr51 ,i h ?ree or f\r hundr$ *ildr5 ( ! mo/ fasc9at+ ages3 ,i /& 9 loco p>5tis to c\ntless numb]s4 ,i don't feel t ,i want to become ri*3 ,i am will+ to =go all ! ord9>y ambitions if ,i may h a m or less free h& 9 education1 & at la/ realize my _m ideals ab\t ! tra9+ ( y\?4 ,x seem$ unduly lonely at home dur+ ,*ri/mas week comp>$ ) ! noisy *e]9ess ( s*ool4 ,= ! fir/ "t 9 my life ,i am beg9n+ to feel q bor$ ) life at ,d>ley4 ,i long = ! games1 ! *att]1 my =m1 my books1 yes1 ev5 = ,common ,room1 ) an a*+ he>t4 ,i hope ! re/ ( ! holidays w pass m quickly ?an ^! la/ t5 days4 ,i take no pleasure 9 bridge-p>ties or tea-fights3 my only solace is to write reams ( nons5se to ,ill+wor? & ,b5b[1 & to read all t ,i c lay my h&s on :i* be>s on ! million or s !ories ( education4 ,,ii ,janu>y #bj1 #aiaj ,i suppose x is an in]adicable trait 9 human nature to want to be :]e "o is n3 :5 ,i 0 at home ,i long$ = ,rad*e/]3 n[ t ,i am safely back 9 my own rooms ,i miss ! civilization ( home1 ! con/ant pres5ce ( ! o!r sex1 ! beauties ( our moors & combes4 ,?is is really a v savage1 unc\? sort ( place3 at pres5t we are sn[-b\nd1 :i* seems to cut u (f m ?an ev] f ! outside _w4 ,i %\ld hate to be ill "h3 ! s*ool doctor is1 ,i imag9e1 capable )9 limits1 b !re is no *ance ( secur+ any k9d ( adequate nurs+ or home com=ts4 ,we are 9 v tru? a colony ( ,sp>tans4 ,i f9d t ,i am hank]+ aft] ! fle%-pots4 ,i want to see ,v]a ,buckley aga94 ,i mu/ write & fix up a d9n] & a !atre ) h]4 ,i suppose if ! ,head ,ma/] f\nd out ,i %\ld be ignom9i\sly sack$4 ,yet ,i c't see t su* conduct c really affect my /atus "h4 ,i don't propose to h h] to tea 9 my rooms4 ,%e amuses me & ,i amuse h]4 ,%e lives 9 a _w poles ap>t f ! "o 9 :i* ,i live3 %e is a wond]ful tonic aft] ,common ,room2 h] talk is all ( gaiety & ! diff]5t sorts ( m5 %e meets1 pretty frocks & romance4 ,by h] side ,i feel amaz+ly old & dull & c>eworn3 %e is really my sole l9k ) ! workaday _w outside4 ,!re is no *ance ( our fri5d%ip rip5+ into any?+ else3 ,i fail to see :]e ! h>m or ! dang] lies2 we l "o ano!r3 we d ea* o!r good4 ,z %e s frequ5tly tells me1 ,i am diff]5t f all ! o!r boys4 ,i don't make love to h] or any nons5se ( t sort2 %e acts z a ref9+ influ5ce on me4 ,aft] p>t+ f h] ,i feel less ( a boor1 m ( a man ( ! _w4 ,i suppose 9 e pr(ession !re are po9ts ( r\t9e & m9ute details t h to be obs]v$ t yet (f5d ! new-com]'s s5sibilities1 b ,i d\bt :e!r any?+ s utt]ly devoid ( purpose or s calculat$ to rub a man up ! wrong way c\ld ev] h be5 devis$ to comp>e ) a ma/]s' meet+4 ,at ! beg9n+ ( t]m we all assemble 9 ,common ,room & ! ,head ,ma/] reads out a li/ ( propos$ *anges 9 ! curriculum1 :i* z a rule affect b two m5 out ( ! ?irty or =ty ga!r$ r\nd ! table3 ! pros & cons ( ! *anges are1 h[ev]1 heat$ly discuss$ by ! p>ties conc]n$1 :ile ! re/ ( u yawn & eat our heads (f ) bor$om4 ,if1 h[ev]1 ,i or any junior memb] ( ! /aff %\ld h ! effront]y to propose any alt]ation or re=m1 a /orm ( abuse imm$iately bur/s on our heads & we are met ) a f9al retort :i* is meant to qua% u = all "t3 ,! exi/+ sy/em has be5 9 vogue = tw5ty-five ye>s & no "o has se5 fit to "q x be=e3 x has become hall[$ ) ! pass+ ( "t & x w\ld be a sacrilege to tamp] ) x n[4 ,ano!r feature ( ^! meet+s is ! way 9 :i* ea* head ( a dep>tm5t fights = 8 own h&4 ,! *oirma/] ?9ks ( no?+ b gett+ m "t = *oir practice1 ! (fic] comm&+ ! corps /r5u\sly tries to procure an extra five m9utes at ea* end = 8 p>ades1 ! gymnasium exp]t urges ! necessity ( physical tra9+ 9 s*ool h\rs1 ! mod]n language ma/] va9ly begs = less classics1 ! ma!maticians = m h\rs devot$ to prep>ation1 ! games manag] = less s*ool "w = ! teams1 & s on4 ,a /rang] w\ld guess 7& he w\ld n be f> wrong7 at ! end ( "o ( ^! meet+s t we 7 all deadly enemies1 ea* suspici\s ( ! o!r & c]ta9 9 8 own m9d t he alone among ! _m suppliants has be5 treat$ ) great unfairness & t ! s*ool is rapidly go+ to ! dogs because he has n obta9$ 8 reque/4 ,! irony ( ! situation is height5$ by ! fact t we pray bo? be=e & aft] ! meet+ t we may all "w 9 complete h>mony = ! common good ( ! boys1 :]eas 9 reality we are all z disunit$ z any body ( m5 c\ld possibly be4 ,"o man w ard5tly support a motion solely to irritate 8 de>e/ enemy1 :o w suff] if ! proposal is c>ri$2 ano!r w j z /r5u\sly oppose x = no o!r reason ?an ! fact t 8 oppon5t might ga9 by x if x 7 c>ri$4 ,! common good seems to be ab\t ! la/ argum5t to c>ry weight4 ,!re are m5 "h :o nev] speak to "o ano!r f ye>'s end to ye>'s end1 al?\gh !y are =c$ to meet "s tw5ty times a day & ev5 sit next to "o ano!r 7we sit 9 ord] ( s5iority7 at meals4 ,hall[s is1 ,i fe>1 a case 9 po9t4 ,he refus$ to %ake h&s ) me :5 ,i came back ?is t]m & ,i "k p]fectly well t he w n take my "p if ,i ask him to g+] up any boy 9 8 h\se :o %irks 8 prep>$ "w4 ,m>* #a1 #aiaj ,a dreadful ?+ has happ5$4 ,a boy 9 my =m call$ ,*orl?waite has be5 expell$ = /eal+4 ,he happ5s to h be5 9 ,hall[s' h\se4 ,he 0 c]ta9ly a boy )\t any moral s5se at all4 ,twice ,i detect$ him 9 ! act ( cook+ 8 m>ks3 ! fir/ "t ,i talk$ to him privately & gave him an imposition long en\gh 7"o w\ld h ?\ght7 to h br\ght ! lesson home to him2 on ! second occasion ,i w5t to see ,hall[s ab\t x & he z good z told me t x 0 my fault = putt+ temptation 9 8 way by mak+ x possible = ! boy to d su* a ?+4 ,tru/+ to a boy's hon\r8 he said ) an ugly laugh :5 ,i tri$ to expla91 y might j z well tru/ a bookie ) y\r purse3 boys hav5't got su* a ?+4 ,! only way to keep !m out ( h>m's way is nev] to tru/ !m an in*1 t's my way & ,i've nev] _h a failure yet4 ,he is 9 a t[]+ rage ov] ?is expulsion3 he has told ! ,head ,ma/] t ! :ole blame lies on my %\ld]s1 because ,i enc\rag$ ! boy to come up to my rooms & ransack my cupbo>ds = *ocolates & cakes4 7,i always all[ all ! boys 9 my =m to d ?is47 ,!y are n ov]f$ "h & sev]al ( !m are too poor to be able to af=d to g (t5 to ! tuck-%op4 ,! w9d is apt to give "o a prodigi\s appetite1 & mo/ boys are only too glad to avail !mselves ( my (f]4 ,i h only j he>d t ,hall[s issu$ an edict t no boy 9 8 h\se 0 to come to my rooms "u any pretext except ) a sign$ ord] f him4 ,*orl?waite rev5g$ himself by help+ himself lavi%ly f ! cupbo>ds ( ,b5son1 ! assi/ant music ma/]4 ,x is all frightfully depress+4 ,9 my ,div9ity lessons on ,sundays & ,mondays ,i h always tri$ to put be=e my boys a rigid code ( moral e?ics & ,i _h hop$ t ,i 0 meet+ ) "s success4 ,i tru/$ !m all 9 ev]y?+3 ,i always make a po9t ( lett+ !m give up _! own m>ks &1 except 9 ! case ( ,*orl?waite1 ,i h nev] detect$ a boy 9 ! act ( *eat+2 nei!r h ,i come across a s+le case ( cribb+1 b !re w\ld be little po9t 9 t because a boy only cribs ?r\gh fe> ( puni%m5t & ,i puni% s r>ely t ,i h ev5 be5 told by ! ,head ,ma/] t ,i am unduly lax4 ,anyway ! boy has gone & ,i am abas$ & a%am$4 ,i hope t ?is sort ( ?+ won't happ5 (t5 or x w wreck all my happ9ess4 ,if my influ5ce isn't good en\gh to keep my boys /raight x 7 bett] = me & = !m t ,i %\ld become a /reet scav5g] or a coal-heav]4 ,all ! same ,i am n sure t expulsion meets ! case4 ,:at is to happ5 to ,*orl?waite 9 ! future8 ,is he to be br&$ = life8 ,he _h ! elem5ts ( a ,*ri/ian 9 him4 ,i _c ?9k t 8 p[] = evil 0 /rong en\gh to make him a bad influ5ce ov] 8 fell[s3 _! unit$ good influ5ce1 on ! o!r h&1 w\ld1 ,i %\ld h ?\ght1 9 "t h *ang$ 8 p]v]t$ s5se ( morality4 ,n[ ,i am fe>ful le/ he %\ld become call\s & bitt] & cont9ue to ! end 9 ! pa? :i* he at pres5t treads4 ,puni%m5t nev] yet act$ z a suffici5t det]r5t to any "o :o really want$ to commit a crime4 ,"o ( ! m9or ?+s 9 life :i* infuriates me ab\t s*oolma/]+ is ?is silly rule ab\t smok+4 ,e boy kn[s q well t practically e gr[n-up man smokes1 & at home he sees n only 8 fa!r & eld] bro!rs b also e man 9 ! /reet ) a pipe1 cig> or cig>ette 9 8 m\?1 & yet he is suppos$ to believe t 8 ma/]s 7unnatural be+s7 nev] condesc5d to ! vice4 ,9 ,common ,room we may smoke & 9 ! seclusion ( our own rooms :5 !re is no *ance ( any boy sudd5ly break+ 9 ^u u 444 b n[h]e else4 ,we are expect$ to hide all traces ( pipes1 j>s ( tobacco1 or cig>ette boxes be=e we admit any boy into our pres5ce4 ,x is a laughable pret5ce1 b apt to be inf]nally annoy+4 ,x also /rikes me z be+ immoral3 we give our cons5t to ! univ]sal act+ ( a lie4 ,:at makes x worse is ! fact t mo/ ( ! boys smoke secretly f> m ?an is good = !m1 solely f bravado4 ,if only1 z 9 "s s*ools1 all boys ov] sixte5 :o h p]mission f home 7 all[$ to smoke at c]ta9 h\rs ( ! day1 ! difficulty bo? = !m & = u w\ld be solv$4 ,x is l ! "q ( dr9k3 9 "s s*ools boys are giv5 a glass ( be] ) _! midday meal & aga9 at supp]4 ,?is effectually removes any sort ( temptation to dive into ! secret recesses ( a b> p>l\r & !re dr9k deep & long1 z is ! fa%ion among ! bloods "h4 ,i f\nd ?is out by accid5t la/ ,sunday4 ,ab\t f\r o'clock ,jeff]ies1 a brilliant s*ol> & a?lete1 came to my rooms1 :ite z to ! gills1 & 9 a /ate ( n]v\s t]ror unfold$ a tale ov] :i* ,i c\ld n help b gloat4 ,"s half-doz5 ( ! m sport+ prefects app>5tly h a habit ( disappe>+ e ,sunday aft] lun* & walk+ f\r miles to an inn1 :]e !y flirt ) a fat & ugly b>maid 7,i h only ,jeff]ies' ^w = ! fat & ugly7 & dr9k until su* "t z !y are expect$ back 9 _! h\ses4 ,on ?is ,sunday aft]noon ! place 0 un=tunately raid$ by ! police & ,jeff]ies 7luckily )\t a s*ool cap7 0 seiz$3 he gave a fictiti\s "n & address & f\nd t he 0 expect$ to appe> at ! local ,police ,c\rt to answ] ! *>ge aga9/ him4 ,naturally ! :ole ?+ 0 b\nd to come out & he w\ld inevitably be expell$4 ,! boy 0 9 a /ate ( pitiable t]ror & want$ to "k :at to d4 ,z luck w\ld h x1 we did hit ^u a s*eme be=e he left ! room :i* left him a loophole4 ,he act$ ^u my sugge/ion1 :i* 0 a simple "o1 & z x turn$ out ev]y?+ 0 solv$ satisfactorily4 ,he 0 f9$ heavily b did n appe>1 & ,i _h ! imm5se joy to see ! case report$ 9 ! local weekly pap] & read all unsuspect+ly by memb]s ( ,common ,room1 :o nev] = "o in/ant guess$ t ! ,george ,holmes1 cl]k1 etc41 :o 0 f9$ = obta9+ dr9ks aft] h\rs1 _h any connexion ) ! noble & hon\rable f\ndation ( ,rad*e/]4 ,i suppose ,i ought n to h be5 a p>ty to ?is nef>i\s s*eme1 b ,jeff]ies 0 f> too valuable a memb] ( ! s*ool to lose4 ,he c]ta9ly did n des]ve to h 8 c>e] ru9$ = a fooli% prank l ?is4 ,if ?is came out1 ,i imag9e t ,i %\ld also be ?r[n out into ! /reets3 ,i wond] h[ mu* ( ?is hu%+ up goes on 9 all ,public ,s*ools4 ,i rememb] t ,i took ,de>d5 into my confid5ce ov] ! case ( ,jeff]ies4 ,he is a de>1 good s\l3 :y on e>? he all[s ! boys to rag him z !y d ,i c't ?9k1 except t he's too g5tle & g5]\s ) e "o4 ,he has ! next rooms to m9e1 & :5ev] ,i'm out ( cig>ettes1 or :isky1 or cakes1 ,i j raid 8 cupbo>ds4 ,heav5s6 t places me exactly on a level ) ,*orl?waite3 x is true t ,i h ask$ him to take :atev] he wants :5ev] he likes f my rooms1 b my cupbo>ds are usually b>e ow+ to ! appetite ( my own =m4 ,:5 ,i told ,de>d5 ab\t ,jeff]ies he laugh$ long & l\d3 he has an infecti\s laugh1 & 8 already rubicund *eeks become purple ) mir?4 ,:5 8 noises _h some:at subsid$1 except = a few int]mitt5t guffaws t he seem$ unable to suppress1 he repli$3 ,oh6 ,i suppose we all behave l t really3 x's a rott5 game turn+ ,k+'s ,evid5ce4 ,i caught a fell[ 9 ?is h\se ) 8 arm r\nd a flapp]'s wai/ on ! bea*1 kiss+ h] ) great en]gy "o night la/ summ] t]m4 ,x did me good to see !m4 ,he ?\ght he 0 safe = expulsion4 ,z a matt] ( fact ,i _h him up & tri$ to lecture him1 b x 0 all ,i c\ld d to keep a /raight face4 ,:at d y ?9k 8 def5ce 08 ',x's s jolly monoton\s "h1 sir1 ) ?is cont9ual r\nd ( "w & games & corps & *apel1 & nev] a dec5t-look+ girl = miles4' ,i c\ldn't resi/ ask+ him h[ he une>!d s desirable a creature 9 a di/rict :i* bre$s little b sea-gulls & mussels4 ',i met h] 9 a village ab\t five miles away "o ,sunday aft]noon & 444 well1 %e 0 z bor$ ) life z ,i 01 s we agre$ to walk to meet ea* o!r d[n ! bea* e ,?ursday & ,saturday night3 x meant two & a half miles ea* way = ea* ( u1 sir4 ,x 0 r a sweat1 b x 0 wor? x1 j = ! fun ( ! risk ( be+ caught4' ,i w>n$ him to be c>eful 9 future3 ,i hadn't ev5 ! he>t to make him promise nev] to see ! girl aga92 ,i'm a rott5 bad s*oolma/]4 ,f ?is he w5t on to a heat$ disquisition on ! advantages ( co-education4 ,i'm 9 luck to h s delightful a companion z ,de>d5 next door to me4 ,he is ab\t t5 ye>s s5ior to me & has _h a *equ]$ c>e]4 ,he has be5 already at ab\t half a doz5 s*ools & nev] giv5 any great satisfaction4 ,he is1 ,i imag9e1 too easy-go+3 he j drifts along idly2 he likes 8 game ( bridge1 8 :isky1 8 nightly *att]1 & beyond t v little except good holidays4 ,l mo/ s*oolma/]s he is q )\t ambition3 he looks =w>d to no?+ bett] ?an 8 pres5t /ate4 ,i c conceive1 he said once to me1 no?+ m delightful ?an my pres5t life1 if only ,i 7 n s p]si/5tly 'ragg$'2 x does s l[] a fell[ 9 8 own e/eem4 ,i h be5 att5d+ all ! rec5t debates at ! ,s*ool ,debat+ ,society3 x is a v =mal & rigid body att5d$ usually by "s fifte5 or tw5ty p]sons1 all v n]v\s & none ( !m able to speak at all coh]5tly or int]e/+ly4 ,ea* "t ,i h att5d$ ,i h said some?+1 b ,i f9d ,i am z bad z ! re/3 !re is an air ab\t ! society :i* effectually prev5ts "o f say+ :at "o means4 ,i don't "k :at x is4 ,! debates are dull & ma9ly consi/ ( long uncom=table pauses1 dur+ :i* no "o d>es ev5 to :isp]1 v>i$ by grotesque attempts at hum\r :i* make me want to cry4 ,x seems to me t ! p[] to /ate an argum5t concisely1 )\t /amm]+ or hesitation & 9 an int]e/+ way1 is a v necess>y factor 9 our educational equipm5t4 ,i h1 !re=e1 />t$ ano!r private debat+ society1 :i* meets 9 my rooms e ,saturday night1 limit$ to boys :om ,i take dur+ ! week4 ,! bait ( free food has nett$ a prodigi\s cat*4 ,i r>ely h less ?an fifty3 !y lie ab\t on ! floor or prop !mselves up aga9/ ! walls4 ,! atmosph]e aft] an h\r & a half is indescribable1 b we c]ta9ly d debate4 ,blood-feuds seem to spr+ f ! results ( our argum5ts3 temp]s are really lo/1 & at times ,i h imag9$ t !y resort to physical te/s to prove ! tru? ( _! ass]tions z soon z !y get outside4 ,at any rate ,i get !m int]e/$ & !y c]ta9ly c talk--! difficulty is r to make !m desi/4 ,we v>y ^! debates ) *>ades1 mock trials1 & read+s ( plays anci5t & mod]n4 ,occasionally ,i read to !m humor\s extracts1 = *oice f ,saki1 ,/eph5 ,leacock1 or "s ( ! old] s*ool ( comic writ]s4 ,i f9d t ,i look =w>d to ?is m ?an to any?+ else 9 ! week3 x un=tunately prev5ts me f go+ 9 to see ,v]a1 b someh[ %e & ,i always seem to be able to hit ^u mutually free ev5+s :5ev] we l4 ,i nev] all[ a week to pass )\t see+ h]4 ,%e is my safety-valve3 %e gives me a prop] p]spective4 ,aft] ,i h qu>rell$ viol5tly ) "s colleague or tak5 "s mi/ake ( m9e too s]i\sly1 %e acts z a corrective & makes me see t ,rad*e/] is n1 z ,common ,room fondly imag9es1 ! :ole ( ! _w4 ,i d n ov]-emphasize my importance to ! ,/ate :5 ,i h be5 ) h]3 to h] ,i am j "o ( a cr[d1 v ord9>y1 fairly *e]ful & companionable1 less flighty ?an if ,i 7 m]ely "o ( ! boys1 b n necess>ily mu* m preci\s on t acc\nt4 ,engl& w\ld n mat]ially suff] if ,rad*e/] 7 raz$ to ! gr\nd to-night2 ,rad*e/]'s idea is t ,engl& w\ld cease to c\nt if su* a dire cata/rophe 7 )9 ! b\nds ( possibility4 ,yes1 x is v good = me to see ,v]a weekly4 ,i told h] ! /ory ( ,de>d5 ab\t ! flapp]1 & %e repli$ some:at to my a/oni%m5t1 ,oh6 y old goose4 ,:y1 ,i've be5 out ) heaps ( ,rad*e/] boys4 ,!y come into ,sc>bor\gh q (t54 ,( c\rse y w\ldn't see !m3 !y're n q su* fools1 b ,i w\ldn't m9d bett+ t !y've se5 y ) me4 ,oh6 don't get fright5$4 ,boys ar5't likely to give y away3 !y und]/& only too well4 ,!y probably ?9k y're ! only s5sible ma/] on ! /aff = hav+ ! s5se n to pret5d t y c d )\t girls4 ,i ?9k x's a mad idea %utt+ up f\r or five hundr$ boys 9 a lonely place l ,rad*e/]4 ,i %\ldn't be surpris$ at ! mo/ horrible ?+s happ5+ !re3 x's unnatural4 ,b1 my de> *ild1 ,i repli$1 if y'd read any ( ! old books y'd realize h[ necess>y x is1 if y want to "w1 to get z f> away f di/raction z possible4 ,n[ :at great] or m *>m+ di/raction c\ld !re be ?an y8 ,oh6 get along1 y old silly6 ,y're always pull+ my leg4 ,all ! same ,i'm c]ta9 t no?+ b h>m c come ( sep>at+ ! sexes 9 ?is way4 ,oh1 !n1 y are l my fri5d ,de>d51 9 fav\r ( co-education8 ,:at's t8 ,b ,i 0 n to be drawn into any argum5t4 ,:5 ,i'm out ) ,v]a ,i'm out = lightness1 sweetness & gaiety3 ,i want to =get s*ool altoge!r4 ,i g back refre%$1 revivifi$ & ) new ideas4 ,%e is ! f9e/ pick-me-up ,i "k4 ,%e doesn't quote ! classics at me4 ,= t alone ,i c\ld hug h]4 ,april #c1 #aiaj ,& "h ,i am at ! end ( my second t]m4 ,any?+ m t]rify+ ?an ! way 9 :i* "t flits by "h ,i _c conceive4 ,i made s _m good resolutions at ! beg9n+ ( t]m & none ( !m seems to h mat]ializ$4 ,i am /ill go+ too fa/ 9 ma!matics1 al?\gh ,i keep a /rict hold on myself all ! "t4 ,i ?9k ! secret is t ,i am m ( a lectur] ?an a tea*]4 ,i f9d x v h>d inde$ to repeat ov] & ov] aga9 ! same =mul1 d9n+ !m into ?ick heads day aft] day = weeks on end )\t any v>iation4 ,i want to keep ! boys int]e/$4 ,"s ( !m make trem5d\s headway ) me3 o!rs le>n no?+ f me at all4 ,9 ,engli% x is o!rwise3 mo/ p :o come to me = ?is subject are beg9n+ to read1 :i* is ! be/ possible sign4 ,9 ! pa/ !y seem to h read no?+1 n ev5 ,! ,arabian ,nights1 nor ,! ,cant]bury ,tales1 nor ,gulliv]'s ,travels1 nor any ( ! novels ( ,?ack]ay1 or ,dick5s1 or ! ,bronts1 nor any poetry1 nor essays nor plays4 ,n[ at lea/ !y d se>* ! libr>y = books :i* ,i recomm5d4 ,! s*ool libr>y is worse ?an useless4 ,9 ecclesia/ical hi/ory no libr>y c comp>e ) x1 b = ! /&>d ,engli% classics "o may se>* 9 va94 ,ev5 if ! book y want does by "s /range *ance happ5 to be !re1 y are n all[$ to remove x unless y are 9 ! ,six? ,=m4 ,:5 ,i remon/rat$ ) ! libr>ian 7a fooli% ?+ to d3 ,i h n[ made him my enemy = life7 all he c\ld say 01 ,my de> man1 ^! rules h be5 9 exi/5ce = g5]ations3 :at 0 good en\gh = our fa!rs is surely good en\gh = u4 ,tell y\r boys to get ^! books f _! ,h\se libr>ies4 ,i h lately be5 = a t\r ( inspection r\nd ! ,h\se libr>ies4 ,edna ,lyall1 ,*>lotte ,yonge1 ,conan ,doyle1 ,george ,birm+ham1 ,h4 ,a4 ,va*ell1 ,h>rison ,a9swor?1 ,m>k ,twa91 ,seton ,m]riman--yes1 b no ,swift1 no ,pope1 no ,br[n+1 no ,?ack]ay1 no ,jane ,au/51 no ,field+1 no ,johnson1 no ,milton1 no ,*auc]1 no ,keats1 no ,%elley1 no ,m]$i?4 ,app>5tly ! au?orities wi% boys to imitate ,rusk9 & n desc5d to libr>ies b to pur*ase = !mselves ! ma/]pieces if !y want to read !m4 ,only ! o!r day ! ,head ,ma/] po/$ a notice on ! s*ool bo>d urg+ ! s*ool to devote less "t to ! p]usal ( sixp5ny magaz9es & m to ! read+ ( good1 s\nd lit]ature--v good advice too--b x isn't e boy :o c af=d to read ! be/ au?ors1 besides :i* ! greate/ writ]s _c be tackl$ )\t due prep>ation & a %>p5+ ( ! wits3 ! av]age boy is prejudic$ aga9/ all ! classics z be+ intol]ably dull4 ,x nev] /rikes him t ^! works 7 writt5 = our enjoym5t1 our solace 9 woe1 our con/ant companions 9 e mood4 ,he pref]s to talk ab\t ! =m display$ dur+ ! aft]noon by 8 ,h\se capta9 9 a s*ool mat*1 or rum9ate on 8 own %ortcom+s 9 a rec5t ,h\se mat*4 ,games seem to me to lose half _! *>m :5 !y are tak5 s s]i\sly t a boy contemplates suicide because ( 8 failure 9 a ,h\se mat*4 ,i might give a hundr$ lectures 9 ,big ,s*ool on any subject "u ,heav5 & v few w\ld volunt>ily att5d1 b if ,i sugge/ giv+ a few h9ts on h[ to tra9 = games !re w\ldn't be a vacant seat4 ,i am c]ta9 ?is mak+ a feti% ( games is too mu* ( a good ?+4 ,!re is a limit ev5 to ke5ness4 ,i love wat*+ a fi]ce s5ior f9al ,h\se mat* & all s*ool mat*es4 ,i love go+ all out :5 ,i am play+ any game1 b ,i c]ta9ly object to treat+ x z if x 7 a religi\s c]emonial1 or r a display be=e my ,supreme ,judge & t on my m]its or dem]its ,i %all be sav$ or damn$ ev]la/+ly4 ,q ! mo/ enjoyable days ( ?is t]m h be5 ^? wild1 wet1 w9dy aft]noons :5 ,i h exp5d$ all my en]gies da%+ up & d[n ! %ore 9 t peculi> game1 half rugg]1 half hockey1 :i* is only play$ at ,rad*e/]1 b ,i don't g back to my rooms & weep if ,i play badly1 or pre5 myself l a peacock if by "s lucky *ance ,i give an exhibition beyond ! normal4 ,?is has be5 a bett] t]m ?an la/1 if only because ( ! ?ree new m5 on ! /aff1 all ( :om are y\ng] ?an ,i am4 ,x 0 pleasant to wat* !m fir/ ( all r\ndly *afe at ! limitless numb] ( rules & re/rictions plac$ ^u u all1 & gradually succumb to ! tradition & become unque/ion+1 /aun* adh]5ts ( a sy/em aga9/ :i* _! bett] judgm5ts fir/ taught !m to rebel4 ,"o excitem5t ( ! la/ mon? has be5 ! visit ( ! ,inspectors3 !y are due once e five ye>s & are suppos$ to be select$ ) scrupul\s c>e4 ,!y are ft$ = a week & %[n ev]y?+ at its mo/ abnormal & be/3 x is no fair te/ at all4 ,= "o :ole week no boy d>$ to rag ev5 su* a pitiable ass z ,p5nefea!r1 le/ ! ,head ,ma/] & ,inspectors %\ld sudd5ly come 94 ,ri*>ds hav+ c>efully work$ out an admirable lesson on ! ,siege ( ,syracuse meticul\sly w5t ?r\gh x e h\r ) 8 =m = ! :ole p]iod on ! (f-*ance &1 z luck w\ld h x1 no ,inspector came ne> him4 ,i 0 n go+ to *ange my curriculum = any ( ! old dodd]]s1 & !y call$ on me daily4 ,! ,engli% exp]t 0 a g5tleman1 & simply sat d[n & took notes ( my me?ods all ! "t ,i 0 tea*+1 :ile ! ma!matical inspector did all ! "w = me & told me h[ to tea* factors1 )\t s mu* z worry+ to ask h[ ,i got on or wat*+ me display my tal5ts at all4 ,^! inspections are m]ely f>cical4 ,_! report 0 "o long succession ( v good1 brilliant1 a/oni%+ly capable1 & s on4 ,i h ( late be5 worry+ ov] ! code ( hon\r t prevails among ! boys4 ,app>5tly to *eat1 to lie1 to give way to unnatural vice1 to torture poor1 half-witt$1 feckless y\ng/]s are v5al (f5ces1 h>dly c\nt+ z (f5ces at all1 :]eas to make a fri5d ( a ma/]1 to cut or slack dur+ a game1 to "w h>d1 are un=givable & he9\s s9s to be ru?lessly puni%$ ) ! utmo/ sev]ity4 ,mix$ up ) ! innoc5ce & almo/ angelic t5d]ness ( "s "y boys !re is a /ra9 ( dirt1 craft1 & holl[ ins9c]ity t appals me4 ,i w\ld give a good deal to "k :5ce ^! !ories ( life h _! s\rce4 ,i am c]ta9 t su* ?+s are n inh]5t 9 ! boy-nature3 x is a fungus-gr[? t is become "p & p>cel ( ! ,public ,s*ool _s1 ! t>es gr[+ up ) ! :eat1 & no "o has ! c\rage to try to ext]m9ate !m4 ,i am always prid+ myself ^u ! fact t none ( my boys ev] crib1 b la/ week ,i discov]$ a boy writ+ out a !orem 9 geometry f a fair copy :i* he _h br\ght 9 ) him4 ,he knew t ,i always walk$ r\nd & r\nd ! room 7,i make x a practice nev] to sit d[n 9 a classroom7 & c\nt$ on my mi/ak+ ! fair copy at 8 side = "o ( ! propositions :i* he _h already writt5 out4 ,i c\ld f9d x 9 my he>t to wi% t all propositions 7 delet$ f ! ma!matical syllabus4 ,if we 7 always to inv5t new ex]cises ?is temptation w\ld be remov$4 ,i am glad to be go+ away to-morr[3 ,i want to ?9k out all ^! myriad problems ( education3 ,i am v tir$ & r depress$ at ! result ( all my ef=ts4 ,i h work$ h>d ?is t]m & yet ,i h a feel+ 9 my bones t mo/ ( my ke5ness is wa/$3 ,i am almo/ a butt]fly on a :eel4 ,! sy/em is go+ to be too /rong = me4 ,i h a lurk+ suspicion t s*oolma/]+ is n a man's job at all4 ,x only really appeals to humdrum inv]tebrates :o c live 9 an entirely unreal atmosph]e1 :o l be+ plac$ on a p$e/al & held up z models ( all ! m insipid virtues & :o c lay d[n ! law & see t x is obey$ to ! la/ lett]4 ,9 no pr(ession is ! dang] ( ?9k+ too mu* s obvi\s3 any "o possess$ ( an introspective or imag9ative temp]am5t is q out ( place 9 a ,public ,s*ool4 ,e day by read+ ,i f9d t ,i am enl>g+ my m9d & gett+ to "k all sorts ( int]e/+ ?+s1 b mo/ ( !m are n = ! e>s ( babes & suckl+s1 & s ,i am compell$ to lead two q diff]5t lives & am become a sort ( ,dr4 ,jekyll & ,mr4 ,hyde4 ,:at ,i d hate ab\t ! end ( ! t]m is ! fact t to-morr[ night ,i %all no long] be able to he> ! m]ry %\ts ( ! boys 9 ! ,h\se ,room bel[ or ! c>eless *att] ( hundr$s com+ out ( *apel or s*ool3 !re w be no m games2 b ,i h "o consolation4 ,i am n1 z ,i did at ,*ri/mas1 go+ to a lonely home4 ,ill+wor? is com+ ) me on a walk+ t\r ?r\gh ,devon4 ,i am look+ =w>d to t v mu* inde$4 ,,iii ,may #d1 #aiaj ,i am glad to be back aga91 b ,i nev] enjoy$ any holiday 9 all my life z ,i enjoy$ ! "o j f9i%$4 ,ill+wor? & ,i took a tra9 to ,bide=d on ! fir/ day ( ! holidays & put up 9 ! hotel :]e ,k+sley wrote ,we/w>d ,ho6 ,! diff]5ce betwe5 t old1 biz>re1 m$ival sleepy t[n & ,rad*e/] is impossible to believe4 ,we sp5t our fir/ ev5+ talk+ to old sailors on ! quay1 & x did n require mu* imag9ation to take u back to ! brave days ( ,elizabe?4 ,x 0 an idyllic holiday3 we nev] _h any def9ite end 9 view3 :5 we felt hungry1 reg>dless ( ! "t1 we w\ld j g 9 to ! ne>e/ cottage & fill ourselves up ) junkets & fruits & cream & !n lazily /roll on1 reg>dless ( rights ( way1 ov] fields1 ?r\gh d5se woods1 by rabbit-w>r5s & c>efully gu>d$ pres]ves4 ,(t5 we _h to run f f>m]s1 gamekeep]s & _! dogs1 :i* add$ a good deal to ! enjoym5t3 x j gave ! extra spice ( dang] :i* we want$4 ,once we got cut (f by ! tide & _h to r[ ov] to ,clovelly1 :]e we put up = ! night 9 a :ite-wa%$ cottage1 :i* smelt s sweetly ( lav5d] & ?yme1 & 0 altoge!r s delectable ) its spotlessly clean flags & old oak panell+1 t we swore t if we ev] got ri* we w\ld retire !re & live z h]mits1 ) a va/ libr>y to console u = ! loss ( ! outside _w4 ,"o day we b\ght a c\ple ( rucksacks & set our faces t[>ds ,h>tl& ,po9t & tramp$ all r\nd ! coa/ until we got to ,bude4 ,we took sev]al days ov] ?is1 because nei!r ,ill+wor? nor ,i c\ld ev] help turn+ aside to explore any lane :i* look$ promis+4 ,we f\nd s _m wond]ful old ,tudor manor-h\ses & *e]y f>m-h\ses t we c\ld nev] te> ourselves away be=e we _h call$ & be5 giv5 leave to explore to our he>t's cont5t4 ,alone1 ,i %\ld nev] h d>$ to ask = s /range a c\rtesy1 b ,ill+wor? is "o ( ^? boys :o no soon] sees ?an he mu/ possess1 a trait t he mu/ h inh]it$1 = 8 fa!r is "o ( ! mo/ fam\s & successful cotton m5 9 ,man*e/]4 ,9 ! end we arriv$ at ,*ag=d4 ,i don't q "k :y1 except t ,ill+wor? lik$ ! s\nd ( ! "n4 ,we got !re by way ( ,okehampton & ,/icklepa?4 ,he _h become v int]e/$ 9 ,john ,trev5a's novels1 ,a ,pixy 9 ,petticoats1 & ,arm9el ( ! ,we/1 :i* he une>!d f my %elves at s*ool1 & :5 he he>d t we 7 9 ! neighb\rhood ( ! sc5es !re9 depict$1 no?+ w\ld cont5t him b t we %\ld see = ourselves :e!r ! p 7 z delightful or ! sc5]y s wond]ful z ,trev5a _h made !m out to be2 s we tramp$ r\nd ! fr+e ( ,d>tmoor & put up at ! fir/ h\se we saw t appeal$ to u on ! outskirts ( ,*ag=d4 ,look+ back on x n[ ,i c hone/ly say t 9 ?is sweet village1 ne/l+ "u ! %ad[ ( ! great moor1 ,i f\nd my ideal home3 no o!r place has ev] giv5 me1 f ! fir/ mom5t ,i saw x 9 ! di/ance1 q ! same s5se ( security & home4 ,we 7 welcom$ at ,f]nwor?y ,view z if we 7 prodigal sons return$ home at la/4 ,we _h a wond]fully capaci\s sitt+-room ) a piano1 :i* we ?ump$ on e night1 s++ ribald songs1 ,buffalo ,gals1 ,! ,mulligan ,gu>ds1 & ! late/ musical com$y bits ) ,betty & ,?omas91 ! two daught]s ( ! h\se :o wait$ on u4 ,be=e we _h be5 !re ?ree days we _h made fri5ds ) ! p>son1 ! doctor1 "o or two hunt+ m5 & all ! villag]s4 ,we us$ to g & gossip 9 ! pubs1 ov] ! c\nt] at ! %ops1 & up by ! village pump opposite ! *ur*1 :]e ! majority ( ! yokels us$ to collect 9 ! ev5+ to discuss ! do+s ( ! day3 we le>nt a good deal ( local sc&al1 acc\nts ( ! day's sport ) ! h\nds1 or fi%+ or %oot+4 ,:]ev] we w5t we seem$ to make fri5ds4 ,& !n by day1 :5 ! villag]s 7 at "w1 we us$ to g out on to ! moor & foll[ ! ,wallabrook1 try+ to trace ea* "p ( ! /ream to its s\rce4 ,! moor always has an amaz+ effect ^u me4 ,i "k t ,ed5 ,phillpotts & ,john ,trev5a talk a good deal ab\t ! malici\s _s ( ! great monoli?s & ! p]man5ce ( ! /one1 mak+ ev5 m futile by contra/ ! ef=ts ( puny & transi5t man1 b ,i f9d ,d>tmoor inf9itely consol+4 ,"h at ,rad*e/] ,i c]ta9ly d feel a malign influ5ce 9 ! ugl9ess ( ! flat l&s & ! hide\s wa/e ( s& & grey wat]1 b !re is a ri*ness ab\t ! moor t makes ,nature !re seem mu* m ! ,et]nal ,"m & ,g5]\s ,giv]1 sympa?iz] at any rate ) /rong & lu/y y\?4 ,gr&eur & beauty 9 sc5]y surely c nev] d any?+ b elevate & purify ! _s ( man4 ,i am nev] happi] ?an :5 ,i h scal$ ! top ( "o ( ^! ,tors & c turn nor?1 s\?1 ea/1 & we/ & see no liv+ s\l4 ,! w9d sweeps ?r\gh me1 ! sun %9es = me alone1 all ! blue ( ! heav5s is m9e4 ,i am ne>] to ! elem5tal ?+s ?an at any o!r "t 9 my life4 ,i am no long] introspective1 dwell+ on human imp]fections2 ,i am j fill$ to ! brim ) ?ankfulness1 & op5+ my arms wide ,i feel t ,i am ab\t to be tak5 into ! embraces ( my ,"l ,himself3 ,he is nev] s ne> z ,he is on ^! ,m\nts ( ,transfiguration3 = all hills t5d to transfigure n only ,god b man4 ,z he rises f>!r f ! valley 9 body1 s does 8 s\l exp&4 ,"y ,ill+wor? & ,i f\nd t we c\ld talk ( ?+s on ! moor t we %\ld nev] h dreamt ( discuss+ else:]e4 ,aft] a long & ardu\s climb1 j to ?r[ oneself d[n on ! hea!r & gaze languidly1 9 sweet & utt] cont5t1 up into ! sky6 ,h[ remote & unreal ,rad*e/] & all x /&s = seem$ at su* mom5ts1 h[ small & ridicul\sly inept ! qu>rels & tr\bles t loom s l>ge 9 ,common ,room2 ^! hills c]ta9ly sweep away any malice t "o may feel1 or grudge t "o may be> aga9/ "o's fell[-m54 ,l ,/4 ,pet] ,i nev] want to come d[n f ^! heights3 ,i want to live 9 t r>efi$ atmosph]e always1 b ! workaday _w calls & we h to desc5d aga9 into ! fray4 ,betty & ,?omas91 z an alt]native to ! noises on ! piano1 us$ to get u to g into ! kit*5 & read al\d to !m till b$time /ories out ( ,! ,arabian ,nights4 ,z an alt]native to ! moor !re 0 always ! ,teign1 9 :i* riv] we us$ to paddle & ba! & %oot at fi% ) a horrible old revolv] :i* ,ill+wor? _h be5 prevail$ ^u to buy f a poa*]4 ,ano!r ( our s\rces ( pleasure 0 an old disus$ mill1 a survival ( ! eighte5? c5tury4 ,ill+wor? f\nd a *a9 by :i* we c\ld be haul$ up f floor to floor by a sy/em ( pulleys on ! fif? floor3 he nev] tir$ ( ?is p>ticul> =m ( amusem5t1 & on really wet days we us$ to sp5d h\rs pull+ "o ano!r up & d[n l sacks ( :eat4 ,alas1 x 0 all too soon ov]3 ! weeks sp$ by l wildfire & ye/]day 0 a day ( sad p>t+s f _m firm & fa/ fri5ds among ! moor-folk4 ,at any rate we h promis$ to g back4 ,x seems incr$ible to ?9k t x 0 only ye/]day 444 & "h ,i am mak+ out my s*eme ( "w = ! t]m1 pay+ la/ t]m's acc\nts1 gett+ ready to r5ew my feud ) ,hall[s1 full ( det]m9ation l poor old ,p]r9 9 t s*ool-/ory ( ,hugh ,walpole's t ?is t]m %all be bett]4 ,i really w n g s fa/ 9 ma!matics1 ,i w in/il my own s5se ( morality 9 my boys1 ,i w d some?+ to alt] ! ridicul\s codes :i* gov]n _! mode ( conduct4 ,at any rate to-night ,i feel amaz+ly /rong & heal?y1 & ,i am z fit = ! fray physically z a man c be4 ,june #aj1 #aiaj ,i suppose ea* individual ma/] unconsci\sly draws to him a peculi> type ( boy4 ,i beg9 to ?9k t ! p>iah f9ds himself especially attract$ to me4 ,!re h be5 two horrible r[s ?is t]m1 "o dur+ ! fir/ week :5 ,i 0 fre% f ! heal?y wilds ( ,d>tmoor1 full ( vig\r to in/il my high ideals into ! m9ds ( all :o came into contact ) me4 ,immorality appe>s to be all-preval5t2 "s ( ! f9e/ boys 9 ! s*ool _h to leave at a mom5t's notice1 among !m ,ill+wor?4 ,ev5 n[1 a mon? aft] ! ev5t1 ,i c sc>cely cr$it x4 ,i _c believe t x is ! small boys' fault4 ,jeff]ies came up to say good-bye & appe>$ to be he>t-brok53 yet he 0 ! mo/ flagrant (f5d] ( !m all4 ,i felt q unable to cope ) ! disa/] at all4 ,i didn't "k :at to say to him4 ,i tri$ to elicit f him :at x 0 t fir/ ( all />t$ boys (f 9 ?is hide\s vice1 & ,i ?9k he tri$ 8 be/ to give me a rational answ]4 ,i suppose ) me1 sir1 he began1 x 0 pure bor$om4 ,life "h seem$ s n>r[2 !re 0 no possibility ( an outlet = ! emotions4 ,we are s n>r[ly conf9$1 s closely wat*$1 s driv5 & look$ aft] e h\r ( e day3 ! r\t9e is kill+ to ! imag9ation4 ,!n comes along a good-look+ small boy2 a long+ comes ov] "o to make a fri5d ( him1 b ! s*ool rules mo/ /r+5tly =bid t1 s we are driv5 to secrecy & secrecy bre$s vici\s ideas4 ,we c't meet op5ly3 we h to ?9k out lonely & unlikely places3 !n human nature ass]ts itself & ! re/ foll[s only too quickly4 ,b surely1 ,i int]pos$1 surely ! ?\ght ( y\r own hon\r1 if n ( ! physical ills t are b\nd to foll[1 act z a det]r5t8 ,s]mons & h\se-ma/]'s w>n+s & s on mu/ h "s effect4 ,none1 ,i'm afraid1 sir1 :5 x comes to ! po9t2 ! attraction proves too /rong & ! add$ spice ( dang]1 z 9 ! case ( ^? ,sundays 9 ! public-h\ses1 is a trem5d\s inc5tive4 ,! s9 seems to lie1 n 9 ! action1 b 9 be+ f\nd out4 ,!re are heaps & heaps ( fell[s :o h left "h load$ ) hon\rs1 ?\ght by all ( y to be p>agons ( virtue1 v]itable ,sir ,galahads1 :o 9 reality are inf9itely worse ?an any ( u :o are n[ be+ sack$4 ,y don't cleanse y\r ,augean /able by fir+ out a score or s ( un=tunate wret*es e ye> z a horrible w>n+ to ! re/4 ,immorality is n l a fire :i* c be /amp$ out2 if !re is any c]ta9 me?od x lies 9 g5tle h&l+ & wean+ u gradually f impure ?\ghts to high] ?+s4 ,i "k t y are awfully sick ) me & ,i feel a rott5 sw9e to y1 z if ,i _h betray$ a tru/1 b y came too late = u2 probably y'll d m = ! new kids4 ,x c only be done by cat*+ u be=e we are bor$ & mak+ u really int]e/$ 9 lit]ature1 music1 art--some?+ ) ,beauty 9 x :i* is n compulsory4 ,i "k ! preval5t op9ion is t ^? :o are int]e/$ 9 art are ! wor/ ( all3 ! tru? is q ! rev]se1 ! wor/ (f5d]s are ! unimag9ative beefy bloods4 ,!re seems to be a lurk+ suspicion 9 ! av]age s*oolma/]'s m9d t all beauty is effem9ate1 if n actively immoral4 ,i believe 9 reality t immorality is z mu* due to ! suspici\s & n too clean m9ds ( our ma/]s z to any o!r ag5cy4 ,we are nev] directly spok5 to on ! matt]4 ,if a h\se-ma/] does talk ab\t x he blu%es & /amm]s & talks ab\t sex z if x 7 9 itself f\l4 ,he makes a q innoc5t y\ng/] beg9 to take a delight 9 ^! hidd5 ?+s4 ,! tru? is t !y ought n to be hidd5 at all4 ,once p beg9 to talk op5ly & discuss )\t false %ame all ^! matt]s1 ?is vice w disappe>1 n be=e4 ,i've got to suff]1 s !re's no po9t 9 my mak+ excuses1 b y1 sir1 if y are really ke5 on gett+ rid ( ?is evil1 rememb] t ! only way to d x is to get hold ( boys & int]e/ !m 9 life4 ,give !m some?+ to occupy _! m9ds1 s t !re is no empty corn] ( _! s\ls swept & g>ni%$ ready = ! occupation ( ! _s ( evil4 ,x is altoge!r horrible2 all my be/ fri5ds h gone1 ! v boys t ,i _h tru/$ mo/ & lov$ mo/4 ,i _c imag9e evil ( "y ,ill+wor? aft] our mon? toge!r on ,d>tmoor4 ,i d>e swe> no evil ?\ght once cross$ 8 m9d ! :ole "t we 7 toge!r4 ,i am c]ta9 9 my inmo/ m9d t ?is vice is n an ess5tial "p ( life z "s writ]s try to make out2 ,i d n believe t y\? mu/ pass ?r\gh ?is /age ( adolesc5ce & t x w\ld be uncanny if he did n give way to 8 natural feel+s4 ,i believe "o reason = our failure "h to cope ) ?is dire disease is ! lack ( fem99e society4 ,i wond] h[ co-education s*ools /& 9 ?is matt]4 ,i believe ! natural ?r[+ ( boys into ! con/ant society ( girls w\ld result 9 a total elim9ation ( all f\lness1 :e!r ( ?\ght or de$4 ,"o ( ! mo/ disgu/+ ?+s 9 all my life "h is ! uncleanness ( s _m boys' m9ds4 ,i hate ! idea ( a ,b[dl]iz$ ,%akespe>e1 = in/ance1 & yet :5 ,i come across a passage t c\ld possibly be con/ru$ 9 a dirty way1 ,i f9d my boys snigg]+1 lov+ ! innu5do3 x is !n t ,i want to make ! read+ ( ,rabelais compulsory3 t w\ld cure !m4 ,i h nev] pass$ occasions l ?is )\t bur/+ =? into a vehem5t tirade aga9/ ! clod-l /ate ( a m9d t c f9d matt] = je/+ 9 su* ?+s4 ,x is ! secrecy t ru9s ev]y?+4 ,if1 = in/ance1 ,i 7 op5ly to proclaim my fri5d%ip = ,v]a ,buckley1 :om ,i /ill see weekly1 ,i %\ld be suspect$ at once ( hav+ s$uc$ h]4 ,j z x is imag9$ t no old] boy c make a fri5d ( a y\ng] boy )\t hav+ "s ult]ior1 fil?y motive1 s no man c be se5 ) a %op-girl 7or any girl = ! matt] ( t7 )\t giv+ rise to sc&al\s sugge/ions z to 8 attitude t[>ds h]4 ,i wi% "s memb]s ( ,common ,room c\ld be privileg$ to he> ! sort ( conv]sation t passes betwe5 ,v]a & myself4 ,%e is some?+ ( a philosoph]1 & h] outlook on life1 :i* is em95tly *e]y & heal?y1 does me a _w ( good :5 ,i am depress$4 ,i talk ov] ) h] all my s*emes = educational re=m & %e is int5sely sympa!tic & alive4 ,%e (f]s a va/ numb] ( amaz+ly good sugge/ions3 "o ( h] mo/ frequ5t po9ts is t ,i %\ld try to tea* my boys n to divide all h] sex into two q sep>ate divisions1 7#a7 _! mo!rs1 si/]s1 & girls :om !y meet at dances1 p>ties & games1 to :om !y are /udi\sly c\rte\s & *ivalr\s1 & 7#b7 ! re/1 %op-girls & o!rs1 :om !y ogle 9 ! /reets1 take out = walks1 kiss & fondle & treat z in/rum5ts = _! own pleasures1 to be disc>d$ at w z soon z !y tire ( !m4 ,july #d1 #aiaj ,! gold5 days ( summ] are fa/ slipp+ by & ,i d little else b ba!1 play cricket1 & read 9 my sp>e "t4 ,mo/ ( ! boys hate hav+ to play cricket e aft]noon ( ! t]m & *afe exce$+ly at ! t$i\sness ( half-holidays1 :5 !y are expect$ to /ay out at _! games = f\r & a half h\rs4 ,! m s5sible take out rugs & books1 & bask 9 ! sun until !y are call$ ^u to field1 b ! temptation to g (f & ba! mu/ be pretty /rong :5 y c he> ! waves s(tly lapp+ on ! bea* bel[1 call+ y to come & cool y\rself 9 ! wat]4 ,!re is a mo/ absurd rule "h t only s*ool prefects may ba! 9 ! sea3 ! re/ ( ! s*ool has to cont5t itself ) ! cov]$-9 ba?s at /at$ & only too r>e int]vals4 ,^! rules seem to me to be ! ru9 ( ! s*ool3 long summ] aft]noons ought to be giv5 up to fre$om & jollity4 ,boys %\ld be enc\rag$ to g z f> away z possible = picnics1 bicycle rides1 & walks1 to keep !mselves fre%1 in/ead ( :i* roll-calls are held at ridicul\sly close int]vals2 n m ?an two h\rs are ev] all[$ to pass )\t assembl+ ! :ole s*ool to answ] _! names4 ,! place seems to be run on ! basis ( ,out ( sight1 up to mis*ief4 ,e "o suspects ev]ybody else4 ,! ,common ,room g>d51 :i* is ! only place 9 ! :ole neighb\rhood :]e "o c see fl[]s gr[+1 possesses "o t5nis-c\rt2 ! rivalry to secure x = a game among ^? :o l t5nis is comic to wat*4 ,int5se hatr$ is br$ if any "o d>es to use x m frequ5tly ?an any "o else4 ,if any ( ! junior memb]s ( ! /aff try to get a game among !mselves !y are taunt$ ) a lack ( loyalty & duty4 ,x is ! "y man's privilege to keep an eye on ! games1 to umpire at cricket & see t fell[s don't slack4 ,luckily = me1 ,i mu* pref] ! society ( ! boys1 & ,i play or umpire e day4 ,equally luckily ,i am trem5d\sly ke5 on field+ & ,i ?or\ghly enjoy e game ,i play1 s long z ,i am n expect$ to take x too s]i\sly4 ,b ,i c]ta9ly sympa?ize ) ^? un=tunates :o hate ! game & yet are compell$ to wa/e all ^! preci\s aft]noons *as+ aft] a ball1 n c>+ 9 ! lea/ :o w9s or loses or h[ badly or well !y play4 ,q a numb] ( boys h told me t !y w\ld inf9itely pref] t !re 7 no half-holidays4 ,! h\rs 9 s*ool pass s mu* quick]4 ,if only ! surr\nd+ c\ntry 7 passably int]e/+ & we c\ld get up excursions to explore woods or *ur*es1 x w\ld to "s ext5t solve ! difficulty1 b ?\gh x is less depress+ "h 9 ! summ] ?an 9 ! w9t]1 !re is no beauty any:]e1 no?+ to call "o away f ! et]nal r\nd ( cricket4 ,! only break is ,spee* ,day1 a mo/ amaz+ c]emony :i* gives "o furi\sly to ?9k4 ,we _h an ,ar*bi%op & sev]al fam\s m5 ( ! day to talk to u ?is ye>1 b ! sole bus9ess ( ! affair seem$ to be to fe$ ! p>5ts z lavi%ly z possible & to laud ourselves up to ! skies4 ,! only crit]ion ( success1 to judge f ! ,head ,ma/]'s spee*1 0 ! numb] ( ,high] ,c]tificates ga9$ 9 ! annual exam9ation4 ,he obvi\sly makes a feti% ( ?is2 he publi%es x 9 all ! pap]s & recurs to x at con/ant int]vals1 9 s]mons1 at ma/]s' meet+s & at d9n]-p>ties4 ,app>5tly we /& or fall by ?is "o qualification4 ,any?+ fur!r f ! true end & aim ( education x w\ld be h>d to imag9e4 ,= ?is "o day ( spee*es & lun* ! :ole place is trans=m$3 x becomes almo/ civiliz$1 a "p ( ! _w t we "k outside4 ,!re are motor-c>s1 pretty1 sm>tly dress$ girls ) _! mo!rs1 & pr\d fa!rs full ( malapropos comm5ts1 &--mo/ important ( all--no compulsory cricket4 ,= "o :ole day we get a *ance to brea!1 to look r\nd & talk1 & at night if a boy is lucky he may ev5 d9e ) 8 p at _! hotel 9 ,sc>bor\gh4 ,x ne$ sc>cely be said h[ flat ! re/ ( ! t]m seems aft] ?is great day1 s eag]ly look$ =w>d to1 s long 9 com+1 s quickly ov] :5 x does arrive4 ,i ?9k ,i d]iv$ mo/ ( my joy f comp>+ ! g>b ( my colleagues on ?is day ) _! ord9>y1 e-day habilim5ts4 ,i suppose no class ( m5 dresses m %abbily ?an ! s*oolma/]2 z he is s abom9ably und]paid t is n to be wond]$ at4 ,:at is a matt] = comm5t is ! extraord9>y co/ume he dons on gala occasions4 ,grey frock-coats ) black tr\s]s & a /raw hat1 d>k morn+ coat ) br[n boots & a b[l]--!re is no end to ! grotesqu5ess ( ! comb9ation ( ill-assort$ g>m5ts4 ,we look l a lot ( ma/] groc]s trick$ out = an annual conv5tion4 ,aft] all1 clo!s are n a v important "p ( life1 b x does someh[ emphasize our alo(ness f ! workaday _w to appe> clad l ,rip ,van ,w9kles once a ye>4 ,our gau*]ie :5 we are call$ ^u to talk to our visitors w\ld make ev5 a %op-walk] w9ce4 ,we seem to h lo/ ! art ( conv]sation3 our tongues are ru/y2 we h no commonplaces1 we _c ev5 h& r\nd tea or food )\t fall+ ov] "o ano!r4 ,we feel all ! "t t ^! p>5ts are laugh+ at our awkw>dness1 t ! girls h labell$ u all z old fossils1 bloodless1 n unlike h>mless lunatics3 _! bro!rs w c]ta9ly n t5d to remove t impression :5 ask$4 ,altoge!r ,i felt a%am$ ( my pr(ession = ! :ole ( t day4 ,i w\ld will+ly =get x4 ,i h be5 wond]+ lately :e!r ,i am n wa/+ su* tal5ts z ,i h at ,rad*e/]4 ,i c]ta9ly d n want to /ay "h = ev] ) no prospect ( ev] e>n+ m ?an #cjj a ye>1 & yet !re is no d5y+ t on ! :ole ,i love ! place & t ,i feel an insidi\s temptation to take root "h4 ,j by way ( exp]im5t ,i h answ]$ a few adv]tisem5ts to see if ,i h any *ance ( gett+ any?+ else4 ,"o man want$ me to act z secret>y to a firm ( motor manufactur]s1 b t seems to be tame & dull comp>$ ) ?is4 ,! ,bo>d ( ,education h (f]$ me a po/ z ,junior ,inspector ( ,bo>d ,s*ools 9 ,essex1 b ,i dislike ! smell ( bo>d s*ools & con/ant travell+ up & d[n ! c\nty does n appeal to me at all4 ,! mo/ tempt+ (f] has come f ,india1 to take ov] ! job ( ,pr(essor ( ,engli% at a native univ]sity4 ,i dalli$ ) t idea = "s "t1 b my p 7 aga9/ x1 s ,i reluctantly refus$ x4 ,! pay 0 good & ! life w\ld c]ta9ly be int]e/+1 besides :i* ,i %\ld !n be able to gratify my desire to travel4 ,! ,ea/ is always call+ me1 ev] s9ce ,i fir/ began to read ,conrad4 ,b %\ld ,i f9d an ,ill+wor? or a ,b5b[ among ! natives8 ,i imag9e ! cont+5cy to be a remote "o4 ,on ! o!r h&1 ,i %\ld broad5 my m9d & come into contact ) m5 & wom5 ) ideas z diff]5t z possible f ^? curr5t "h4 ,"o result ( my t5tative ef=ts to leave has be5 a sort ( re/lessness :i* has made me buy guidebooks to all sorts ( places4 ,ill+wor? & ,i _h arrang$ to sp5d ! summ] holidays at ,*ag=d1 b n[ t he is gone ,i am likely to be at a loose end & ,i don't "k :]e to g4 ,i've ?\ght ( ! ,highl&s1 ! ,lakes1 ,irel&1 ,cornwall & ,wales3 ,i _c make up my m9d4 ,i f9d t ,i want a companion & !re is no "o 9 ,common ,room ) :om ,i %\ld c>e to g4 ,july #ca1 #aiaj ,n[ t ,i h come to ! end ( my fir/ ye> z a ,public ,s*ool ma/]1 ,i am try+ to take /ock ( ! situation4 ,i h le>nt a good deal s9ce la/ ,septemb] & ,i c]ta9ly am devot$ to my job4 ,i h n yet got ov] my initial n]v\sness4 ,i /ill h nightm>es ( my boys gett+ out ( h& & yet ,i h _h no great difficulty 9 keep+ ord]4 ,i c]ta9ly don't l tak+ prep4 or look+ aft] ,hall :ile ?ree hundr$ & fifty boys eat1 b ,i c cope ) any numb] ( boys up to =ty & keep !m at "w4 ,dur+ ! la/ week ,i h be5 invigilat+ & correct+ exam9ation "w3 my boys h n done p>ticul>ly well 9 ma!matics4 ,app>5tly ,i /ill g too fa/ or else ,i am unable to expla9 adequately4 ,comp>$ ) my ,engli% "w ,i f9d ma!matics uncommonly dull4 ,9 ,engli% ,i h got "s really good results4 ,"s boys h writt5 %ort /ories1 o!rs plays1 o!rs v]ses1 _m ( :i* %[ orig9ality1 good s5se1 & a capacity = expression :i* ,i c]ta9ly did n get la/ ye>4 ,i h int]e/$ !m1 too1 9 read+3 !y borr[ all my books1 new & old4 ,i read extracts f all sorts ( au?ors 9 =m & try to :et _! appetites = m4 ,i only wi% t in/ead ( a paltry two h\rs a week ,i c\ld inveigle ! ,head to give me an h\r a day4 ,all ! o!r ,engli% ma/]s "h conf9e !mselves to analysis1 p>s+1 prcis1 & "o play ( ,%akespe>e p] ye>4 ,i h run ?r\gh 7lightly7 ! :ole c\rse ( ,engli% ,lit]ature 9 ! la/ ?ree t]ms & "s boys h specializ$ on drama1 o!rs on ballads1 o!rs on fiction & a few on poetry1 ea* foll[+ 8 own b5t4 ,i wond] :y ?is all-important subject has be5 s neglect$4 ,t x has is evid5t f ! silly lett]s mo/ boys write & ! twaddle t gets into ! s*ool magaz9e4 ,:y any "o pays sixp5ce = ! mon?ly ,radca/rian passes my compreh5sion4 ,x consi/s ( a faceti\s all too brief ,editorial1 badly /rung toge!r1 foll[$ by pages ( description ( games :i* int]e/ no "o except ! play]s1 & !m only if !y receive hon\rable m5tion1 a s5tim5tal piece ( artificial v]sify+1 a li/ ( elev5s & fifte5s1 promotions1 col\rless reports ( debates & lectures1 & a few lett]s ( abuse4 ,i'd gu>antee to turn out a bett] j\rnal f ! weekly output ( my =m4 ,! wor/ ( x is t ! av]age boy is int]e/$ 9 no?+ at all1 !re is no?+ t he wants to read ab\t4 ,s a tradition spr+s up t a s*ool magaz9e %all be solely a *ronicle ( games4 ,i am n[ 9 ! middle ( writ+ reports4 ,i wond] :y x is t z soon z we are confront$ by "o ( ^! que] docum5ts all p[]s ( criticism & expression des]t u1 & we1 "o & all1 desc5d to a j>gon :i* is q mean+less4 ,i f9d myself fill+ ab\t a hundr$ ( ^! slips ) su* idiotic rem>ks z ,indu/ry adequate1 ,pa9/ak+1 ,v fair b c\ld "w h>d]1 ,lacks conc5tration1 ,v weak b tries1 ,neat & h>d-work+1 & s on4 ,:5 !y are fill$ up !y are ab\t z mu* good z a guide to p>5ts z :5 !y are unt\*$4 ,no "o c\ld possibly gauge a boy's m]it or progress f ^! ?+s4 ,!y rem9d me ( m>ks1 :i* z a crit]ion ( a boy's t]m9al success are z bad a te/ z c\ld be devis$4 ,i always feel t ,i am be+ paid #aej a ye> simply to d ?is sort ( hack "w1 to fill up reports & to make out a weekly ord] = my =m4 ,all ! re/ ( my "w ,i give will+ly )\t paym5t4 ,! fir/ "p ( my summ] holiday has be5 decid$ = me4 ,to-morr[ morn+ we leave = ,salisbury ,pla91 :]e we are to camp out = t5 days4 ,to t ,i am look+ =w>d imm5sely4 ,%>+ a t5t ) sev5 boys 9 ?is h\se %\ld br+ me clos] to !m ?an ev] & ,i ought to be able to le>n some?+ valuable ab\t t mo/ elusive & tricky ?+1 a boy's m9d4 ,!y are nev] q natural 9 ! pres5ce ( a ma/]2 p]haps !y'll =get t ,i am "o at ,tidwor?4 ,our ,o4,c4 "h is a /range fell[4 ,i l him v mu*1 b 8 views on life are diametrically oppos$ to my own4 ,he is z h>d z nails & is a tw5tie?-c5tury ,/oic4 ,he despises all beautiful ?+s2 8 book%elves are l9$ ) ,kipl+ & guides to milit>y /rategy & tactics4 ,he lives 9 & = ! ,corps4 ,he is nev] happy unless he is 9 uni=m4 ,l myself he is a ma!matician1 b he makes all 8 "w z milit>y z possible4 ,day & night he evolves s*emes = field-days1 outpo/1 advanc$ gu>d & o!r ex]cises2 he is an exp]t sc\t1 signall]1 & drill-ma/]4 ,he dem&s ! utmo/ punctilio 9 matt]s ( c]emonial on p>ade3 he coa*es individually ea* boy :o %oots on ! range2 he sp5ds mo/ ( 8 holidays 9 b>racks or on ,army manuvres z a lieut5ant 9 ! ,special ,res]ve4 ,he is "o ( ! few m5 ,i "k :o is conv9c$ t we are %ortly to emb>k on a colossal ,european w>1 & naturally all ! re/ ( ,common ,room laugh at him4 ,he really is r absurd1 yet ,i _c help b love him1 he is s spl5didly sure ( himself4 ,8 is "o ( ! rooms to :i* ,i feel any incl9ation to g :5 ,i feel lonely4 ,he sits up to all h\rs ( ! night draw+ maps & work+ out milit>y problems f old exam9ation pap]s1 b he is always eag] & ready = an argum5t4 ,8 pr9cipal bone ( cont5tion ) me is t ,i don't g+] up ! boys en\gh4 ,he is a firm believ] 9 ! rod2 he canes ne>ly all ! boys 9 8 ,h\se weekly1 j to keep !m up to ! m>k & himself 9 tra9+4 ,he dete/s my !ories t boys %\ld be taught 9 com=table rooms ) good pictures on ! walls & /hetic col\rs to delight _! s5ses4 ,he is "o ( ^? m5 :o is suspici\s ( all ,art z t5d+ t[>ds ! immoral4 ,!y say he is admirable 9 camp1 & t all ! o!r ,public ,s*ool (fic]s /& 9 awe ( him because he kn[s 8 job s mu* bett] ?an !y d4 ,he c]ta9ly is unlike any o!r s*oolma/] :om ,i h ev] kn[n4 ,!re is a sort ( ,/raf=dian ?or\ghness ab\t him :i* makes him an idol 9 ! sight ( ! boys :o1 to give !m _! due1 c]ta9ly d be/[ all _! h]o-wor%ip on ! ,nietzs*ean sup]man :5 !y f9d him4 ,,iv ,augu/ #aj1 #aiaj ,i am back 9 ,*ag=d aga9 aft] t5 ( ! be/ days ,i c rememb]4 ,camp 0 "o cont9u\s r\nd ( %e] joy4 ,! wea!r 0 good3 !y gave u pl5ty ( "w to d2 ,i le>nt an imm5se am\nt ( soldi]+ & ,i h become q z ke5 z any ( !m4 ,o',connor1 our ,o4,c41 has recomm5d$ me = a commission & ,i g into b>racks at ! ,depot 9 ,exet] next week4 ,i _h no idea t life "u canvas c\ld be s good4 ,to be wok5 aft] a dreamless sleep at five on a p]fect summ] morn+1 to op5 ! t5t-flaps & look out on ! gorge\s woods ( ! ,p5n+s & !n to da% up & h an icy %[]-ba? be=e fir/ p>ade1 to come 9 to breakfa/ ) an appetite z ke5 z t ( a baby1 to sp5d ! great] "p ( ! day 9 ! op5 air1 wa%+ up1 clean+ ! t5t & my uni=m1 or runn+ ab\t z a sc\t se>*+ = in=mation1 to %\t r[dy songs 9 company ) a c\ple ( ?\s& o!r spirits z heal?y & c>e-free z oneself1 to gossip 9 ! l9es z ! light gradually dw9dles away at night1 & la/ ( all to be sung to sleep by ! bugle's la/ po/ & lights out1 9 %ort to live z man %\ld live1 9 a sort ( half-savage1 :olly heal?y way l ?is is "o deliri\s dream4 ,i lov$ e m9ute ( x4 ,w\ld t x c\ld h cont9u$ = a hundr$ in/ead ( t5 days4 ,! boys 9 my t5t treat$ me exactly z "o ( !mselves4 ,i 0 ord]$ ab\t by my section comm&] j l any o!r private2 9 fact1 ,i 0 privileg$ en\gh to be tak5 by ev]ybody j z a private1 z if !re 7 no ,rad*e/] & ?is 0 all4 ,x 0 j "o glori\s rag3 ! fight = food & dr9k z ord]ly ( ! day1 ! hu/le to get ev]y?+ cle>$ up 9 "t = p>ade1 ! deadly funk le/ "o's buttons %\ld n pass mu/] at ! inspection1 ! fe> le/ "o %\ld d ! wrong ?+ 9 close ord] drill on p>ade1 & s br+ ridicule d[n on ! s*ool or oneself f ! tyrannical s]geants :o bulli$ u into %ape1 ev]y?+ 0 ?or\ghly good & ,i lov$ x4 ,x is v quiet & tame at ,*ag=d aft] t /r5u\s "t1 b ,i h nev] be=e realiz$ h[ preci\s a ?+ a hot ba? 01 or clean %eets & a com=table b$1 & entire lib]ty ) reg>d to ! way 9 :i* "o sp5ds "o's day4 ,*ag=d is becom+ my home1 my refuge f ! _w4 ,betty & ,?omas9 ev5 came z f> z ,moretonhamp/ead 9 ! motor-bus to meet me4 ,i c\ld h hugg$ !m bo? = ?is4 ,!y 7 disappo9t$ n to see ,ill+wor? & x 0 h>d to acc\nt = 8 abs5ce4 ,i said t he _h gone to ,switz]l& to complete 8 education4 ,i miss him ev5 m "h ?an ,i did at s*ool4 ,we sang all ! old songs to-night & ,i read "s m /ories out ( ,! ,arabian ,nights4 ,x is h>d to imag9e t ?ree mon?s h pass$ s9ce ,i 0 la/ "h4 ,! village1 !y tell me1 is cr[d$3 all ! summ] visitors are n[ "h4 ,i don't l to he> t--,i am jeal\s ( my f9d4 ,i don't l hordes ( ,london]s pry+ into my fav\rite nooks4 ,i %all f9d banana-sk9s & orange-pips on ! ,wallabrook to-morr[1 & probably ! way to ,cranm]e w be indicat$ by a long succession ( pap] bags & bits ( disc>d$ bun4 ,i wi% ,i c\ld describe ! fasc9ation ( ! moor4 ,z soon z ,i got to ,exet] ,i saw ! blue hills 9 ! di/ance ) _! qua9t1 craggy tors1 & my he>t leap$ )9 me4 ,i want$ to get out ( ! tra9 & run to greet !m4 ,by ! "t t we _h climb$ out ( ,newton to ,bovey ,i 0 rac+ f side to side ( ! c>riage to glut my eyes ) ! ri* sights :i* met my eye :]ev] ,i look$1 ! :ite-wa%$ cottages1 ! prosp]\s f>ms1 ! rook]ies1 ! rock-/rewn /reams1 ! ?ick woods1 ! riot ( _m-col\r$ fl[]s1 ! r$ loam & real gre5 fields--h[ diff]5t ^! f ! poor p>*$ pa/ures ( ,rad*e/]2 ! squ>e squat *ur* t[]s1 ! tap]+ spires1 ! big mansions ( ! squire>*y1 ! sl[ plodd+ f>m lab\r]s 9 ! w9d+ lanes1 ! myriad animals squatt+1 runn+1 fly+1 *as+ & be+ *as$2 ev]y?+ spoke to me ( home & !n at la/ at ,moretonhamp/ead to be met by su* de> creatures z ,betty & ,?omas93 my cup ( happ9ess 0 inde$ full4 ,augu/ #ba1 #aiaj ,i am to g back to ,*ag=d z soon z ,i h f9i%$ my milit>y tra9+ "h 9 ord] to coa* "y ,will\ghby 7^: bro!r 0 at ,new ,college ) me la/ ye>7 = ,woolwi*4 ,he said t he didn't m9d :]e he w5t & s he fell 9 at once ) my sugge/ion ( ,*ag=d4 ,i am n altoge!r lik+ life 9 b>racks aft] my wild & free week at ,*ag=d4 ,!re ,i got up :5 ,i lik$1 ord]$ :at ,i lik$ = meals1 0 wait$ on h& & foot by ,betty & ,?omas91 laz$ by ! side ( ! ,teign & ba!d at frequ5t int]vals 9 a deep pool :i* nobody knew (1 f> f all inquisitive eyes1 & trapes$ ab\t ! moor to my he>t's cont5t e day4 ,i took a heap ( books b except 9 ! kit*5 at nights1 :5 ,i read al\d1 ,i nev] _h any temptation to op5 !m4 ,aft] ! /r5u\s life ( camp ,i 0 only too glad ( ! opportunity to me&] & gossip4 ,life seems to move v sl[ly 9 ^! ,devon villages4 ,no "o seems to h be5 m>ri$ or to h di$ s9ce ,i 0 la/ "h3 ! same girls s]ve 9 ! same %ops1 ! same m5 occupy ! same seats 9 ! b> p>l\r at ,! ,half-,moon & ,! ,goat & ,boy2 ! only *ange is ! influx ( visitors attir$ 9 immaculate flannels1 :o get excit$ because _! copy ( ! ,times 0 n s5t up at ! usual "t to-day4 ,?ank ,heav51 ,i've only got to endure t5 days m ( ?is3 ,i am n ov]fond ( ! (fic]s4 ,!y res5t my pres5ce1 ,i ?9k1 because ,i am n a pukka soldi]3 ,i nev] c\ld be--,i h n ,o',connor's temp]am5t4 ,!re is su* an amaz+ am\nt ( ritual & c]emony ab\t ! mess4 ,!re's n mu* to d except to dr9k & read ! pap]s1 & get up ! p>ts ( ! rifle1 :i* bore me4 ,! ,s]geant-,major has tak5 me "u 8 w+ & giv5 me tips prep>atory to my exam41 b ,i'm n s grateful z ,i ought to be4 ,e morn+ ,i g out on fir/ p>ade1 usually 9 a p>l\s funk ab\t my clo!s4 ,d ,i we> a sword or n8 ,:om exactly am ,i expect$ to salute8 ,:at are my duties8 ,ev]y?+ is hazy3 !re is no?+ def9ite laid d[n & frequ5tly ,i loit] ab\t all ! morn+ only to f9d t ,i am n want$4 ,mo/ ( ! s5ior (fic]s seem to sp5d _! "t fill+ up pap]s 9 ! ord]ly room4 ,9 ! aft]noons !y g (f & play t5nis or fi%1 & ,i am left to my own devices until d9n]1 :i* meal ,i am expect$ to att5d4 ,i h explor$ ! city1 :i* is an attractive "o4 ,! inhabitants are sleepy1 b extraord9>ily heal?y-look+ & rubicund ( hue3 ! girls almo/ uncannily pretty4 ,betty & ,?omas9 came 9 f ,*ag=d = ! day ye/]day at my invitation & ,i took !m out to lun* & tea1 & we _h a r>e good "t toge!r4 ,!y are v anxi\s = my release & compla9 t ,f]nwor?y ,view is v dull )\t me4 ,:e!r t be true or no1 all bless+s be ^u _! sweet heads = say+ s4 ,i h _h lett]s f heaps ( ,radca/rians :o 7 9 camp ) me1 decl>+ t !y f9d home v sl[ & bor+ aft] ! ec/atic days 9 camp4 ,septemb] #ae1 #aiaj ,i pass$ my exam4 all "r at ,exet] & v glad ,i 0 to %ake ! du/ ( ! b>racks squ>e f my feet & once m to get back to my belov$ ,*ag=d4 ,will\ghby is a ,wykehami/1 :o is try+ to get into ,! ,%op 9 ,novemb]4 ,8 ma!matics are s\nd b 8 ,engli% is lam5table4 ,he seems to h read no?+ except1 qua9tly en\gh1 ,norwegian sagas3 he is always quot+ ,burnt ,njal4 ,i f9d him excell5t company3 & he has ravi%$ ! he>ts ( mo/ ( ! girls :o are /ay+ "h4 ,x is mu* gay] ?an x 0 :5 ,i 0 la/ "h2 we h _h ?ree gorge\s dances4 ,i wi% ,i did n feel su* a fool at ^! %[s4 ,rad*e/] has unfitt$ me = all ^! society ga!r+s4 ,i feel abom9ably out ( x2 x is s long s9ce ,i us$ to dance regul>ly4 ,i get 9 a p>alytic fe> le/ ,i %\ld tread on my p>tn]s' toes4 ,i imag9e t ,i am wood51 gawky & /iff1 9 spite ( my p>tn]'s eulogies on my ease & lightness4 ,we play t5nis1 golf & cricket a good deal & ev5 got up "s amateur !atricals1 9 :i* ,i took ! "p ( ,myngs 9 a ,pepys play4 ,^! p are z diff]5t z possible f ! nor?-c\ntry manufactur]s4 ,none ( !m h mu* money1 b !y all possess hon\r$ names & an int5se pride ( bir?3 ,cruwys1 ,pol:ele1 ,*i*e/]1 ,acl&1 ,trefusis1 or ,*amp]n[ne4 ,i wi% we boa/$ su* names at ,rad*e/]4 ,!y are all exce$+ly k9d to me4 ,i feel ?or\ghly happy & at ease :5 ,i am gossip+ ) ! villag]s or runn+ ab\t on ! moor ) ,will\ghby1 :o is v slack ab\t walk+1 & always wants to hire a c>2 he has heaps ( money & is c]ta9ly lavi% ) x4 ,he flirts outrage\sly ) all ! girls he comes across1 b he is heal?y & altoge!r lovable4 ,we "w all ! morn+s & sometimes at night4 ,i don't ?9k !re is mu* d\bt ab\t 8 gett+ 94 ,he is beg9n+ to take q an int]e/ 9 8 ,engli% "w & con/antly bewails ! fact t he nev] discov]$ at s*ool :at a delightful subject x is4 ,he is int]e/$ 9 all sides ( life & l ,ill+wor? is afraid ( no?+4 ,if he wants to get into conv]sation ) any "o he j does x1 :]eas1 h[ev] mu* ,i want$ to1 ,i %\ld always hold back ?r\gh fe>1 :at ( ,i don't q "k4 ,i h tri$ to set d[n on pap] exactly h[ ?is c\ntry affects me1 b ,i _c d x4 ,i envy ,ed5 ,phillpotts & ,trev5a m ?an ,i c say4 ,i look = romance 9 ! faces ( ! pass]s-by & try to weave /ories ab\t ! villag]s b !y all fail to mat]ialize4 ,i _c make any ( !m live 9 my pages2 !y are all dolls4 ,i hav5't really be5 taught to obs]ve prop]ly4 ,will\ghby comes back f a g>d5-p>ty & c conjure up an exact picture ( all ! old frumps1 ! p>sons1 ! retir$ civilians1 _! lovely daught]s 444 e "o4 ,he kn[s ! col\r ( _! eyes & hair1 peculi>ities ( _! h&s & bodies1 ! mat]ial ( :i* _! clo!s are made1 toge!r ) _! col\r & %ape4 ,i talk to a girl = an h\r1 f9d h] captivat+1 come home1 essay to describe h] & fail entirely4 ,i c't ev5 rememb] :e!r %e is d>k or fair1 :at sort ( frock %e wore1 :at 0 ! col\r ( h] eyes1 or :e!r h] features are regul> or n4 ,i suppose ,i don't look at p en\gh4 ,i simply d>5't4 ,i c't scrut9ize3 ,i wi% ,i c\ld ov]come ?is ba%fulness4 ,all ! "t ,i keep on ?9k+ :at a fool all ^! p mu/ imag9e me to be4 ,b all ! same !re are "o or two types "h :o int]e/ me a good deal4 ,! capta9 ( ! cricket team is a retir$ colonel ( an ,indian regim5t1 an old ,m4,c4,c4 man :o lives = ! game & curses u r\ndly :5 we fail to come up to 8 expectations4 ,:5 we w9 he praises u extravagantly1 :5 we lose 8 language becomes positively ,ori5tal4 ,he nev] misses an opportunity ( net-practice & requires u to be equally ke54 ,8 "o aim 9 life is to g ?r\gh a season )\t los+ a s+le mat*4 ,9 ,augu/ he always invites ! mo/ fam\s cricket]s he kn[s to come & /ay ) him1 b !y d n always come (f on ^! tricky wickets & he gets mu* m furi\s ) !m if !y fail ?an he does ) u4 ,! doctor is ano!r good type3 he is v h&some & belov$ ( e "o4 ,he be>s 8 hon\rs lightly s long z e "o gives 9 to him1 b he sulks l any two-ye>-old *ild if he is cross$ 9 any way4 ,he likes to keep himself surr\nd$ by pretty girls & z !re is no de>? ( !m he has a good "t4 ,"o ( ! be/ po9ts ab\t ,*ag=d is ! way 9 :i* e "o collects at diff]5t h\ses )\t any special invitation4 ,i f9d t ! ,*ag=d p h done me no end ( good4 ,!y've laugh$ me out ( a good deal ( my awkw>dness4 ,?\gh ,i am mu* sl[] at mak+ fri5ds ?an ,will\ghby1 ,i h ceas$ to reg>d all mank9d z ho/ile to me4 ,! p>son "h has become a great pal ( m9e4 ,he is "y1 extraord9>ily well-read1 a?letic1 & madly ke5 ab\t 8 "w4 ,x is a treat1 by way ( a *ange1 to leave ! roy/]]s & sit smok+ 9 8 /udy & talk ab\t books & education & social problems4 ,8 life is full to ! brim ) t happ9ess :i* comes f s]vice4 ,x seems to me an ideal exi/5ce to try to keep ! vision spl5did be=e ! eyes ( ^! moor-folk1 to com=t !m 9 _! di/ress4444 ,i h (t5 ?\ght ( tak+ ,ord]s4 ,i don't q "k :at keeps me back4 ,i c conceive no f9] life ?an t l$ by ! prea*]4 ,( all m5 9 hi/ory ,i ?9k ,i %\ld l to h be5 ,john ,wesley4 ,at home no?+ delights me s mu* z tak+ my fa!r's ,bible ,classes or prea*+ to 8 ,sunday aft]noon congregations f ! lect]n4 ,i've read ! ,?irty-n9e ,articles aga9 lately3 ,i don't l ! ?\ght ( swe>+ my allegiance to !m1 b !re are heaps ( p>sons :o d excell5t "w )\t reg>d+ a great _m ( !m4 ,i l visit+ ! cottag]s & = ! mo/ "p !y seem to l me4 ,i "k t at home !y all expect me to g into ! ,*ur*1 z !y call x1 9 ! end4 ,! difficulty is ab\t ! call4 ,is ! ,*ur* my vocation8 ,"o ?+ ,i w\ld n d & t is to take ,ord]s solely ) a view to pref]m5t at s*ool4444 ,no1 ,i c\ld n become a p>son unless ,i felt a cle> call & x is t call t ,i am s unc]ta9 (4 ,i don't l sep>at+ myself f my fell[-m5 by we>+ a sombre g>b4 ,i believe t x is possible to fulfil "o's life-mission q z well by rema9+ among ! laity4 ,c]ta9ly po9ts ( ecclesia/ical etiquette give rise to no wild en?usiasms or hatr$ 9 my brea/4 ,i 0 educat$ z a ,high ,*ur*man & ,i l inc5se & ve/m5ts1 good music & ritual1 b ,i am q happy ) ! ,evangelicals4 ,i c\ld nev] get s tempe/u\sly wra?ful ab\t m9or po9ts ( doctr9e z t flamboyant1 trucul5t pap] t repres5ts ! ,ca?olic ,anglican p>ty does4 ,i att5d ,wesleyan *apels & ,roman ,ca?olic *ur*es & f all ( !m ,i d]ive "s measure ( com=t4 ,i h be5 read+ ! lessons 9 *ur* "h = ! la/ few ,sundays4 ,will\ghby always laughs at my *ur*-go+2 l mo/ ( ! visitors he nev] ent]s a place ( wor%ip4 ,i see no reason :y any man %\ld unless he feels ! ne$ ( x4 ,i d4 ,he doesn't1 & !re's an end ( x4 ,! psalms & collects & hymns uplift me & ! s]mons ,i look =w>d to m ?an any?+ 9 ! week4 ,!re is always "s /ra9 ( philosophy 9 s]mons :i* appeals to me4 ,i c]ta9ly dislike *apel at s*ool1 solely because x is compulsory4 ,! s]mons1 too1 !re are curi\sly unev54 ,mo/ ( ! p>sons on ! /aff are good1 consci5ti\s ,*ri/ians1 b "s are devot$ to dogma & o!rs to moral conduct1 & !y t5d to sep>ate ^! two features ( religion absolutely1 :i* ,i am c]ta9 is a mi/ake4 ,x is l our ,div9ity lessons3 "o has to te/ :e!r a boy has done 8 prep>ation by ask+ all sorts ( silly que/ions1 :ile all ! "t "o is long+ to prea*1 to po9t out ! inspiration1 to exp\nd ! ,bible z a complete guide to life4 ,x is v difficult to reconcile ! two4 ,my be/ ,div9ity s*ol>s are c]ta9ly my lea/ reliable boys z reg>ds ,*ri/ian practice4 ,i wi% ,i knew :]e ! solution lies4 ,i am tempt$ always to let ! exact k g & prea* f a text :5ev] ,i g 9 to class4 ,! object ( education is to fit a boy = life1 s t he may le>n to conduct himself hon\rably & valiantly :]ev] he goes4 ,does our pres5t sy/em succe$ 9 do+ ?is8 ,if n1 x is a v s]i\s %ortcom+4 ,:at we want is mu* m ,*ri/ian doctr9e taught--x ought to p]vade e lesson4 ,!re is /ill f> too great a t5d5cy to reg>d ,sundays1 *apels1 & ! ,div9ity lessons z some?+ q outside ! ord9>y ?+s ( life3 boys are n made to p]ceive t _! :ole life is a religion & t :]e !re is no religion !re is no life1 & t to try to live accord+ to "o code ( e?ics on ,sundays & an entirely opposite "o all ! re/ ( ! week is simply to kill ei!r ! spiritual or ! mat]ial4 ,dur+ ^! holidays ,i h devis$ sev]al new s*emes = next t]m3 ,i don't "k h[ _m ( !m ,i %all br+ to fruition4 ,i've be5 read+ a good _m books on s*ool life lately1 b !y all seem to me to lack some?+1 ,i don't q "k :at x is4 ,mo/ noveli/s at "o "t or ano!r try _! h& at a ,public ,s*ool novel--b ,i expect t ! next g5]ation w smile at our pres5t ef=ts1 j z we d at ,eric1 or ,little by ,little4 ,h4 ,a4 ,va*ell 9 ,! ,hill wrote a mo/ readable novel & c]ta9ly portray$ t amaz+ly s5tim5tal side t is really v prom95t 9 ! human boy4 ,he hates & loves :ole-he>t$ly4 ,o!r m5 & boys become ! :ite/ ( h]oes & ! blacke/ ( villa9s 9 8 eyes4 ,b beyond ?is !re 0 no?+ ( tru? to life 9 :at 0 an exce$+ly successful book4 ,arnold ,lunn 9 8 c\nt]bla/ to ?is1 ,! ,h>rovians1 dwelt too di/9ctly on ! rev]se side ( ! picture1 on ! m drab side ( life at s*ool4 ,he is c]ta9ly tru] 9 8 descriptions b someh[ he miss$ ! s\l3 ,! ,h>rovians & ,! ,hill are bo? l ,academy pictures4 ,i don't "k if ! real ,public ,s*ool novel w ev] be writt53 ,i don't q "k if x c4 ,9 ! fir/ place1 to make x bo? readable & true1 y mu/ take an exceptional boy l ,d5is ,yorke 9 ,/4 ,john ,lucas's ,! ,fir/ ,r\nd1 or ^? immortal scamps 9 ,/alky & ,co4 ,! av]age boy's life is too humdrum to make mat]ial = a book3 ( c\rse a good j\rnali/ c\ld make an excell5t *apt] out ( an acc\nt ( a h\se or s*ool mat*4 ,mo/ noveli/s are q bad at ?is j\rneyman sort ( writ+4 ,mod]n writ]s are try+ diff]5t tactics4 ,! popul> way at pres5t is to focus ! read]'s att5tion on ,common ,room4 ,boys are dull comp>$ ) m52 _! conv]sations inept2 all ! normal plots r\nd :i* novels sp9 i4e4 love-mak+1 are out ( place 9 a boy's life1 s clev] ,hugh ,walpole 9 ,mr4 ,p]r9 & ,mr4 ,traill has approa*$ ne>] ?an any "o else 9 pres5t+ at once a readable1 excit+ & true picture ( a c]ta9 sort ( s*ool4 ,c]ta9ly !re are m5 on ! ,rad*e/] /aff :o might h walk$ /raight out ( ! pages ( ?is rem>kable novel4 ,any?+ tru] ?an t sordid1 lurid picture ( ! petty jeal\sies t exi/ betwe5 gr[n man & man at a s*ool has nev] be5 writt54 ,b surely1 said ! p>son "h to me ! o!r night1 :ile we 7 discuss+ ?is1 no two cultivat$ m5 ( ! _w w\ld be at dagg]s drawn simply ov] a ridicul\s umbrella4 ,t's j ! hide\sness ( x all1 ,i repli$4 ,m5 d behave 9 t incompreh5sible way at s*ools4 ,!y are l naughty *ildr53 y'd nev] believe t !y are graduates1 pick$ m51 bo? intellectually & physically4 ,y'd nev] believe h[ spiteful & inhuman m5 c be to "o ano!r until y've liv$ ) !m 9 a s*ool4 ,i suppose we see too mu* ( "o ano!r4 ,i _c believe t all s*ools are l ,rad*e/]1 b c]ta9ly ,hugh ,walpole mu/ h suff]$ at "o n unlike x4 ,i h _h a great _m talks ab\t education ) ! p>son :ile ,i h be5 "h3 he is v ke5 on rais+ ! age-limit to sixte5 9 elem5t>y s*ools4 ,at pres5t he says t ! education !y get is ( no use to !m4 ,!re are heaps ( boys & girls ( eighte5 & n9ete5 9 ,*ag=d :o c nei!r read nor write1 al?\gh !y 7 taught to d bo? :5 !y 7 *ildr53 z soon z !y g on to ! f>ms !y f9d t ^! accompli%m5ts are n m>ketable1 & s !y =get !m 9 an incr$ibly %ort space ( "t4 ,app>5tly1 too1 ! /&>d ( morality 9 village life is deplorably l[4 ,:5 ! y\?s att5d *ur* x is1 only too frequ5tly1 s t !y may ogle ! girls3 ! *ur* makes a good r5dezv\s4 ,nei!r drunk5ness nor immorality h decreas$ ) ! spread ( education1 nor are ! p any m ?rifty or ambiti\s4 ,! f>m]s are z ignorant z !y 7 be=e ! ,corn ,laws 7 repeal$4 ,altoge!r he draws a lurid1 hopeless picture ( ! c\ntry yokel4 ,!re mu/ be at bottom a wond]fully f9e in/9ct at ! he>t ( e ,engli%man =1 h[ev] bad ! sy/em ( education may be1 & t x is bad f ! highe/ to l[e/ ,i am becom+ sur] e day1 he /ill makes a good ?+ ( life4 ,! ,public ,s*ool product is a f9e specim5 ( a man3 he is /rictly hone/ 9 all 8 deal+s1 he w nev] turn 8 back on a pal1 he is capable ( h&l+ m5 ) sympa?y1 he c adapt himself at %ort %rift to almo/ any circum/ance3 if only he c\ld be prevail$ ^u n to despise le>n+ & beauty no o!r type ( man c\ld t\* him4 ,i h lately be5 try+ to und]/& m ( =eign c\ntries ?r\gh _! fiction1 p>ticul>ly ,russia4 ,ye>s ago ,i read & lov$ ,tol/oi's ,resurrection2 la/ week ,i tri$ to get ?r\gh ,anna ,k>59 & fail$4 ,i c't expla9 q :y1 unless x is t ,do/oievsky has supplant$ him 9 my e/imation4 ,i nev] read any "o 9 ! lea/ l ,do/oievsky4 ,i ?9k ,! ,bro!rs ,k>amazov is ! greate/ novel ,i ev] read4 ,no man rises f x ) exactly ! same outlook on life :i* he _h :5 he sat d[n to x4 ,do/oievsky seem$ 9 t book to be on ! po9t ( discov]+ all t hurt & puzzl$ u ab\t ! _w3 e n[ & !n we seem to get a glimpse millions ( ye>s ahead into a timeless1 limitless space :]e tru? & beauty at la/ prevail1 & mis]y & suff]+ are no m4 ,ev]y?+ t he writes seems to turn on ?is ^w suff]+4 ,light1 n salvation1 comes to man ?r\gh 8 capacity to suff]4 ,! *>act]s 9 ,! ,bro!rs ,k>amazov are n human be+s at all3 !y are disembodi$ spirits ) an amaz+ p[] ( self-analysis3 ?is gloomy introspectiv5ess is ! *ief feature ( all ,russian writ+4 ,!y seem to "k s mu* m ?an we d ab\t ! actions ( ! human he>t3 _! sympa?y ) humanity is deep] ?an ours3 we are too apt to dismiss f our ?\ghts :at we d n imm$iately und]/&--! m complex a man's "* ! m we %un him1 b ! ,russian seeks to dis9tegrate x & acc\nt = 8 contradictory traits3 h[ ,iago mu/ appeal to ! ,russian m9d4 ,!y appe> to be a nation ( ,hamlets4 ,^? t are n are ,lucif]s4 ,i am n pleas$ ) ! ,g]man m9d4 ,!re is1 9 _! plays at any rate1 an awful play+ ) fire4 ,nietzs*e p>alyses me--?is w to p[] w\ld be frightful if x 7 ev] giv5 full play4 ,! pres5t effect ( _! ref9$ sy/em ( education seems to drive ! fl[] ( _! y\? to suicide4 ,engli% /upidity is bett] ?an ,g]man kultur if t is :at love ( le>n+ leads to4 ,!re mu/ be "s middle way4 ,x is a relief to turn to ,am]ican fiction4 ,all ! _w seems to be pass+ ?r\gh a /age ( transition mu* z x did 9 ! days ( ! ,romantic ,revival4 ,!n all ,europe 0 bo!r$ ab\t ! ,bro!rhood ( ,man & ! ,return to ,nature2 n[adays we are ca/+ (f all ! conv5tions ( our fa!rs & press+ t[>ds ! rights ( ! individual to be a law unto himself4 ,9 ,jean ,*ri/ophe ,roma9 ,roll& seems to be express+ on ! ,cont95t :at ,wells1 ,b5nett1 ,j4 ,d4 ,b]es=d1 ,gilb]t ,cannan & o!rs are try+ to express "h1 t ! "y man ( to-day is n cont5t to accept religion1 or ! codes ( morality or conduct :i* 8 fa!r believ$ 9 & act$ ^u4 ,! new age asks ! "r to discov] a fre% religion = itself & to live accord+ to ! light ( its own reason4 ,! h]o ( ! mod]n novel1 if h]o he c be call$1 is feckless & un/eady3 l ,do/oievsky he is cont9ually on ! look-out = :at is r\nd ! corn]4 ,he pref]s mis]y to happ9ess1 = out ( int5se mis]y & unhapp9ess he le>ns to h>d5 himself1 9 ,hugh ,walpole's words1 by ?is means alone c he come to real adequate manhood & subdue fe> & hypocrisy4 ,! mo/ out/&+ *>act]i/ic ( ! new s*ool ( h]o is 8 selfi%ness3 he ?9ks ( no "o b himself4 ,x does n matt] v mu* t he %\ld be unhappy3 he des]ves to be & he almo/ seems to delight 9 be+ s1 b un=tunately he br+s e "o else ) :om he comes into contact into a l /ate--8 wom5folk1 8 p>5ts1 are left he>t-brok5 :ile he cont9ues on 8 wild way1 ,mazeppa-l1 rid+ r\gh-%od ov] old-e/abli%$ prejudices1 subv]t+ ! m9ds ( ! "y1 ov]turn+ traditions & sett+ up new gods only to des]t !m 9 _! turn4 ,i c]ta9ly pref] ?is new g5]ation to ! decad5ts ( ! n9eties2 at lea/ we are sp>$ artificiality1 idle phil&]+1 & t delicate languor ( lilies & h>p+ on vice z a desirable ?+4 ,our new h]oes are nev] dirty-m9d$ ?\gh !y frequ5tly p]=m rott5 ?+s4 ,if only !y w\ld n ?9k s mu* !y might be q dec5t be+s4 ,un=tunately all ^! sup]m5 lack ! "o great ess5tial ( all true m51 !y h no glimm] ( hum\r 9 _! composition4 ,!y are s deadly 9 e>ne/ to f9d out ! mean+ ( life t !y h no "t to turn aside & br[se 9 ! pa/ures :i* ,ari/ophanes1 ,%akespe>e1 ,*>les ,lamb & ,dick5s s enjoy$2 ! comic _s seems to be dead 9 u4 ,!y leave je/+ to ! music-hall arti/e--!y h no room = laught] 9 _! s*eme ( exi/5ce4 ,?is is :]e ! great ,am]ican %ort-/ory writ] scores s heavily4 ,he is incurably romantic & yet alive & al]t3 he is int]e/$ 9 all humanity & l all sympa!tic obs]v]s ( err+ mank9d1 he c af=d to laugh n at b ) !m at ! absurdity ( ?+s4 ,i f9d 9 ,j4 ,m4 ,synge ! be/ epitome ( ?is age4 ,he has a sup]b intellect 7mo/ ( ! "y writ]s are prodigi\sly clev]71 8 /yle is cle>1 simple1 =cible & exact1 & he te>s up all our old ideas by ! roots4 ,9 ,! ,playboy ( ! ,we/]n ,_w he has (f5d$ 8 own p ( ,irel& = all "t4 ,!y _c und]/& ! univ]sality ( ! !me4 ,he did n write 8 play to %[ h[ excell5t a ?+ x is to be a p>ricide1 ?\gh incid5tally he does c>ry on ! ,%avian idea t sons owe no duty to _! p>5ts--!y did n ask to be born4 ,:at he did set out to d 0 to %[ h[ ! feckless1 unappreciat$ l\t may realize t he has a s\l1 & h[ easily he /&s alone )\t love ( wom5 or any o!r s5tim5tal prop :5 he has f\nd x4 ,/anley ,h\ghton is ano!r expon5t ( ! tw5tie?-c5tury philosophy4 ,h9dle ,wakes m]ely %[s t ! new !ories ( life h spread n only to ! o!r sex1 b to mill-girls & %op-girls4 ,fanny 0 will+ to sp5d a week-end 9 ! society ( a man simply = enjoym5t1 & refus$ to b9d h]self to him = ! re/ ( h] life j to satisfy an effete conv5tion4 ,:at %e want$ & meant to h 0 fre$om3 %e 0 well able to take c>e ( h]self2 %e 0 e>n+ a good wage & _h become self-support+4 ,h] p>5ts might turn h] out2 %e 0 n1 on t acc\nt1 l ! =sak5 mi/ress ( ! n9eties1 !re=e b\nd to g on ! /reets4 ,%e c\ld live h] life 9 h] own way1 behold5 to no man4 ,we are pass+ ?r\gh grave & /r5u\s times & x is q obvi\s t we %all h to adapt ourselves to new conditions3 new tru?s make anci5t good unc\?4 ,we h come a long way f ! s5tim5tal1 ! artificial1 ! ,re/oration attitude to life4 ,9 ! new age m5 & wom5 are com+ to "w side by side1 are beg9n+ to und]/& "o ano!r bett] & d n contemplate s$uctions or m>riage :5ev] !y meet4 ,:at are our s*ools do+ to prep>e _! pupils = ?is new _w8 ,no?+ at all s f> z ,i c see4 ,ma/]s d n tr\ble to read ! v obvi\s signs 9 ! sky4 ,at girls' s*ools ,i am told ! same old me?ods ( /r+5t secrecy ab\t ev]y?+ t matt]s are c>ri$ out4 ,! girl ( to-day leaves s*ool ) an outlook on life =m$ on an incomplete acqua9tance ) ! _w ( ,jane ,au/54 ,!re has be5 no gradual unfold+ ( ! new ideas--:at an awak5+ lies be=e "s ( ! wives ( ! next g5]ation4 ,b boys are 9 no happi] case4 ,!y are be+ br\ght up to believe t !y w g out into a _w exactly simil> to t 9 :i* _! fa!rs liv$4 ,!irs too w be a tr\bl\s "t be=e !y le>n ! lesson4 ,i don't q see h[ ! problem is to be tackl$4 ,x is sc>cely possible to give read+s f all ! mod]n noveli/s to s*oolboys3 ! outspok5ness ( ?is new writ+ is fright5+ ev5 to adult m9ds4 ,:at we want is m k2 ! zeal ( ! pres5t day is = facts4 ,we want ! tru? at all co/s3 we don't m9d h[ mu* x hurts4 ,we are n l ! m5 :o h to create a ,god if !re isn't "o1 we are able to be> any?+ except %ams & lies2 we recognize "o ari/ocracy only1 ! ari/ocracy ( intellect & tru?4 ,z an hone/ man ,i feel t ,i ought to resign my po/ at ,rad*e/] aft] read+ ^! mod]ns1 because ,i am paid to g on retail+ hypocritical untru?s to my boys4 ,hav+ caught me out 9 "o falsification !y w be suspici\s ( me altoge!r4 ,i wond] h[ mu* ,ill+wor? & ,jeff]ies already look on me z a *>latan--b !n1 accord+ to my lights ,i 0 proclaim+ my fai? 444 & n[1 well ,i f9d x h>d to put d[n h[ ,i /& ) reg>d to ! new s*ool ( ?\ght4 ,aft] all1 ^! m5 are all exp]im5tali/s1 !y are 9 ! position ( m5 :o are te/+ ! scaffold+ ( a h\se3 !y say our edifice is insecure1 t our props are rott51 t ! ar*itects :o built our h\se ( life 7 j]ry-build]s1 b h[ d we "k t ^! m5 are any bett]8 ,i am s afraid ( (f5d+ ! susceptibilities ( "o ( my *>ges t ,i d>e tell !m no?+1 b on ! o!r h&1 surely x 7 bett] = !m to be guid$ n[ ?an to be flung )\t a guide into ! mael/rom ( conflict+ public op9ion :5 !y leave s*ool4 ,if only "s ( my colleagues _h read ^! new writ]s x w\ld be s mu* m helpful4 ,b all books s9ce ,dick5s & ,?ack]ay are taboo at s*ool z new-fangl$ & h5ce ephem]al4 ,! attitude to life ( ! mid-,victorians is ! attitude we ourselves are expect$ n only to adopt = ourselves b to tea*4 ,no wond] we are look$ ^u z hopeless old fogies by our boys z soon z !y leave u4 ,! old idea t fiction 0 writt5 z ,field+ wrote x1 solely = our amusem5t & n at all = our in/ruction1 appe>s /ill to prevail pretty well ev]y:]e1 s t ev5 ! mo/ omnivor\s read]s "h 9 ,*ag=d d n take ! new m5 s]i\sly2 !y ?9k t !y are try+ to %ock & />tle u b h no sort ( propag&i/ !ory at ! back ( _! m9ds4 ,x is ! same ) ! !atre4 ,p res5t ! ?\ght t !y might le>n some?+ ( value by li/5+ to a play3 !y g to ! !atre to be amus$1 n to be prea*$ at1 consequ5tly !y miss ! po9t ( q half ! plays !y see4 ,!y are v good lessons = e "o except ourselves1 b we nev] ne$ correction4 ,v ,octob] #a1 #aiaj ,i h jo9$ ! ,times ,book ,club4 ,i f9d t ,i _c get along )\t a con/ant supply ( new books4 ,i want to keep abrea/ ( mod]n ?\ght at all co/s4 ,i don't see :y1 because ,i am condemn$ to tea* ,desc>tes & ,py?agoras1 ,i %\ld d5y myself ,h5ry ,james or ,b\rget4 ,i f9d t /&>d works are n en\gh4 ,!re are times :5 ,pope palls on me1 :5 ,dick5s & ,?ack]ay ask to be giv5 a re/4 ,at su* times ,i want to read "s ( ! new s*ool1 ! m5 :o h brok5 away f ! old traditions & c>v$ out a new _w4 ,p]haps if ,i 7 n 9 su* a deadly fe> ( gett+ into a groove ,i %\ld n p9 my fai? s l>gely to ^! v re/less & r morbid "y m51 b a s*oolma/] seems to be expect$ to /ifle any gr[? t a nation might be %[+ signs (1 to prev5t y\? f essay+ out ( ! beat5 tracks into ! _m virg9 jungles t surr\nd life4 ,?is t]m s f> is go+ fairly smoo?ly4 ,we h a new ,g]man ma/] :o gets unm]cifully ragg$2 ,o',connor looks ^u him ) extreme suspicion4 ,he ?9ks t ! ,g]man ,gov]nm5t h s5t him "h purposely to spy out ?is "p ( ! c\ntry4 ,a m h>mless fell[ ?an ,ko5ig x w\ld be h>d to f9d4 ,o',connor really is a prodigi\s ass4 ,9 ! fir/ place ! man is v n]v\s3 he has no idea ( keep+ ord]4 ,boys h a habit ( ent]+ 8 classroom by ! w9d[2 !y also burn bonfires 9 8 wa/e-pap] basket2 !y br+ mice into =m & *ase !m all ov] ! room2 !y *e] :5 any boy gets good m>ks & hiss :5 any "o fails to score4 ,altoge!r 8 sets d]ive a consid]able am\nt ( amusem5t f him & we 9 ,common ,room pr(ess to be %ock$ b are 9 reality secretly pleas$ to ?9k h[ inf9itely sup]ior we are to him4 ,no?+ gives a man self-confid5ce s quickly z to see ano!r "o mak+ a havoc ( 8 job4 ,b5son is also gett+ ragg$1 n s mu* by ! boys z by "s ( ! y\ng] memb]s ( ! /aff4 ,la/ t]m we />t$ a club :i* meets nightly 9 8 rooms & r\ses ! welk9 ) a succession ( cat*es4 ,we dr9k :isky & consume va/ quantities ( fruit & cake1 :ile he plays to u on ! piano or viol9 & we %\t snat*es f ! late/ musical com$y4 ,b5son's =te lies 9 ! subject ( boys' smok+4 ,he is c]ta9 t boys use ! music-rooms to smoke 94 ,to enc\rage him 9 ?is idea1 sev]al ( u h lately dropp$ cig>ette ends 9 diff]5t p>ts ( ! build+2 ^! he discov]s1 picks up & treasures1 reveal+ !m to u lat]4 ,he has a wond]ful s*eme 7:i* he ?9ks is 8 own b :i* 9 reality we h put him up to7 by :i* he means to cat* ! miscreants r$-h&$4 ,half ( ! club are to sit 9 d>kness & sil5ce 9 "o room1 ! o!r half 9 ano!r3 we are all to li/5 until we he> ! boys come 91 & at a giv5 signal da% out ^u !m f two directions & s cat* !m4 ,jackson & ,i h be5 deput$ by ! o!rs to dress up & d ! smok+2 we are to get out ( ! w9d[ aft] smok+ two or ?ree *eap cig>ettes "o night & !n be *as$ up & d[n ! %ore4 ,t is1 ,b5son w d ! *as+1 ! o!rs w slip back 9 ! d>k to consume :isky & wait = 8 return4 ,he w !n be told & ! sight ( 8 face ought to be good to see4 ,octob] #bd1 #aiaj ,we h br\ght (f ! rag3 x didn't turn out z we expect$4 ,bo? ,jackson & ,i elaborat$ ! je/4 ,i 0 produc$ 9 a 7pret5d$7 fa9t1 cov]$ ) mud & ble$+ at ! nose1 aft] a suppos$ fight ) "o ( ! boys1 :o 9 ! end got away by pu%+ me into a pond4 ,i put s mu* realism into ?is t ,b5son 0 q conc]n$ ab\t me4 ,i felt an awful pig & s s]i\sly did ,b5son take x t we did n feel t we c\ld let him "k ! tru? ( ! matt]4 ,i h be5 re/less aga9 ( late & to cure myself h tak5 to go+ into ,sc>bor\gh & roam+ r\nd ! /reets at night4 ,i f9d ?is an excell5t rem$y4 ,i love wat*+ cr[ds1 especially a seaside cr[d4 ,!y are s obvi\sly out to enjoy life once "w = ! day is ov]4 ,!y are hail-fell[-well-met ) ev]ybody4 ,i don't "k :y ,i get s fasc9at$ ) ! life ( ! /reets3 no "o else at ,rad*e/] ev] ?9ks ( any o!r /rata ( society ?an 8 own4 ,i want to probe ! drama ( life3 ea* light$ w9d[ conjures up "s vision ( dome/ic com$y or trag$y to me4 ,i want to "k4 ,i want to play eavesdropp] to :isp]]s 9 ! d>k3 ,i sc5t romance at e corn] ( ! /reet4 ,p>tly ,i attribute ?is to read+ ,o4 ,h5ry's %ort /ories4 ,we live by habits1 b = adv5ture w\ld seem to be ! f\ndation ( 8 belief ab\t life4 ,! skirts ( ,romance are always swi%+ pa/ u2 we j he> fa9tly ! s\nd ( h] tread1 we see dimly ! %e5 ( h] g>m5ts1 b we are s bol/]$ up & surr\nd$ by conv5tion t we d>e n give *ase1 mu* z we %\ld l to4 ,s ,romance = u1 z ,o4 ,h5ry says1 comes to mean a m]e matt] ( a m>riage or two1 a few old lett]s1 & a ball programme /uff$ away 9 a draw]--! memory ( "o sc5t-lad5 ev5+1 & = ! re/1 our exi/5ce consi/s ( a lifelong feud ) a /eam radiator4 ,i f9d t my boys love ^! ,am]ican %ort /ories1 ) _! qua9t extravagances ( language1 _! ?ree-fold surprise ^u surprise1 _! outspok5ness & _w-wide sympa?ies ) e sort ( man & woman1 f tra9-robb] to %op-girl & man ab\t t[n to murd]] & convict4 ,i h be5 read+ lately ,edmund ,holmes's book on ,:at ,is & ,:at ,might ,be4 ,he seems to express ! ideals ( education bett] ?an any "o ,i h ev] read3 yet no "o on ! /aff does m ?an sne] or laugh at him z an ideali/ & an impracticable dream]4 ,i l p>ticul>ly 8 six in/9ctive desires ( y\?4 ,e *ild1 he says1 wants passionately 7#a7 to talk & li/51 7#b7 to act 79 ! dramatic s5se71 7#c7 to draw1 pa9t1 & model1 7#d7 to dance & s+1 7#e7 to "k ! :y ( ?+s1 & 7#f7 to con/ruct ?+s4 ,to develop all ^! six in/9cts he decl>es is ! true aim ( all real education4 ,h[ little d we c>e h[ well or badly a boy talks1 reads1 acts1 s+s1 reasons or con/ructs4 ,if we 7 to model ourselves on a "r sy/em we %\ld pay z mu* att5tion to ! developm5t ( a boy's /hetic z to 8 physical side4 ,z x is we di/ru/ music1 pa9t+1 act+ & read+ z effem9ate & degrad+4 ,we look on ! cult ( ! beautiful z 9 "s degree immoral3 ,o',connor's !ory ( ,sp>tan ugl9ess1 ( work+ always 9 a room z b>e z a b>racks1 unreliev$ by col\rs or com=table surr\nd+s1 is look$ on z ! ideal me?od ( tra9+ y\?4 ,subjects are taught j 9 s f> z !y are di/a/eful3 ! fact t "o c "w h>d at any?+ j because x is int]e/+ is reg>d$ z impossible4 ,if "o beg9s to argue y are c\nt]$ by ! %ibbole? ( m5tal discipl9e1 :i* is suppos$ to be ! f9al ^w on any topic ( controv]sy4 ,if gramm> gr9d provides a m5tal discipl9e1 gramm> gr9d mu/ !re=e be invaluable1 q ap>t f its utilit>ian aspect4 ,consequ5tly boys are taught _m ?+s :i* s]ve no useful purpose & lead n[h]e simply because x is good = !m to h to p]=m ardu\s1 po9tless tasks )\t ask+ ! :y ( !m1 9 direct contrav5tion ( ,mr4 ,holmes's !ory4 ,! fact t beautiful natural surr\nd+s connote t ! m9d also assimilates a beauty ( demean\r is entirely lo/ sight (1 or flatly contradict$4 ,i %\ld l to impose ^u our lead+ educationi/s ( ! old regime "o task :i* !y w\ld f9d di/a/eful--a v sev]e m5tal discipl9e & h5ce v good = !m--,i mean a compulsory read+ ( ,mr4 ,holmes's book3 x w\ld d !m a _w ( good4 ,i f9d t my greate/ joy 9 life ^! days is hav+ boys to tea4 ,h[ev] mu* "o may mix ) !m 9 games1 9 hall1 9 =m1 9 debat+ societies & else:]e1 "o someh[ misses ! p]sonal relation%ip1 :]eas at ^! tea-p>ties boys are altoge!r natural & ?r[ (f ! protective mask !y usually we> be=e ma/]s4 ,i l to see !m pott]+ ab\t ! room1 pick+ books f ! %elves1 look+ at photographs 9 albums1 argu+ fr5zi$ly among !mselves q reg>dless ( me1 ) unre/ra9$ fre$om ( diction4 ,"s ( ! y\ng] ones ( c\rse simply reg>d my rooms z a refuge1 a place :]e x is possible to keep w>m 9 front ( a fire1 in/ead ( hav+ to sit on ! hot-wat] pipes 9 ! passages1 a tuck-%op :]e "o doesn't h to pay & :]e bloods don't come & turn y out ( ! good seats4 ,b sev]al :o come solely = food /ay frequ5tly to talk & unburd5 !mselves ( _! tr\bles4 ,x is !n t ,i beg9 to ?9k t aft] all !re may be "s *ance ( my do+ good "w z a s*oolma/]4 ,i _c rid myself ( ! feel+ t mo/ ( my "t "h is wa/$4 ,i _c pret5d t my ma!matical tea*+ is really successful4 ,app>5tly good ma!matical tutors are extremely r>e3 all ?r\gh ! s*ool ! /&>d "h is lam5table4 ,we keep on try+ new me?ods & new textbooks1 b ) v little result4 ,we c secure a doz5 good classical s*ol>%ips at ! ,univ]sity e ye>1 :]eas "o ma!matical exhibition e ?ree ye>s is consid]$ extremely good4 ,ma!matics1 l ,engli%1 is bett] taught at ! gramm> & second>y s*ools ?an at ! ,public ,s*ools4 ,i suppose !y get m capable tea*]s at s*ools :i* are directly responsible to ! ,bo>d ( ,education4 ,i _c believe t ! mat]ial !y "w ) is bett]4 ,( c\rse1 "o reason :y ! second>y s*ools score s heavily 9 sci5ce & ma!matical s*ol>%ips is because boys educat$ at ^! places "k t !y w h to dep5d entirely ^u _! own ef=ts to secure a liv+1 :]eas ! ,public ,s*ool boy usually kn[s t if he fails entirely to make good !re /ill rema9s "s s9ecure or o!r :i* he w be able to obta9 ?r\gh 8 family's influ5ce4 ,?is & ! fact t he w be ri* anyh[ comb9e to make him c>eless ab\t tak+ e advantage ( improv+ 8 m9d :ile he is at s*ool4 ,to d any "w :i* isn't def9itely requir$ is to call d[n ^u a boy's head f 8 fri5ds insult & abuse4 ,! pr9ciple ( "w = "w's sake is unkn[n to !m3 inc5tives ( all sorts h to be provid$1 ! hon\r ( ! ,h\se1 ! sport+ t5d5cies ( ! ma/] :o takes !m1 ! possibility ( a prize1 ! fe> ( puni%m5t1 any & e device is employ$ except ! "r "o4 ,decemb] #ba1 #aiaj ,i h _h my fill ( ref]ee+ 9 ,h\se mat*es ?is t]m4 ,no?+ is s calculat$ to br+ "o into bad od\r ) a ,h\se or ) o!r memb]s ( ,common ,room4 ,i only d x because !y nev] c get any "o else4 ,"o /rives to be scrupul\sly fair1 & ! result is t ! :ole game devolves into a s]ies ( :i/les & free kicks4 ,! excitem5t ( play+ 9 a ,h\se mat* causes q ! majority ( boys to =get t !y are m]ely play+ a game3 !y try to d ev]y?+ 9 _! p[] to secure ! advantage1 h[ev] ali5 to ! _s ( ! game4 ,!y are told be=e !y g on to ! field t unless !y lose _! temp]s & fight f ! v beg9n+ !y w n d !mselves ju/ice1 :i* 9 itself is c\nsel ( a mo/ d\btful k9d2 !y c]ta9ly act up to in/ructions4 ,e decision ! ref]ee gives is con/ru$ z a direct piece ( fav\ritism1 & conv]sation & argum5t run high on a d\btful try = weeks aft] ! ev5t4 ,ano!r ?+ t ,i h come up aga9/ ?is t]m is ! dignity ( ! prefects4 ,z "o gr[s old] "o =gets ! awe 9 :i* ^! mighty m5 are held by ! s*ool1 mighty1 t is1 if !y h be5 elect$ = _! physical pr[ess3 !y are ( no acc\nt if !y are prefects m]ely because ( _! intellectual atta9m5ts4 ,i h be5 try+ quietly to c\nt]act ?is /ate ( ?+s by be+ peculi>ly c\rte\s & dignifi$ 9 my treatm5t ( ! s*ol>s & r hail-fell[-well-met ) ! games bloods4 ,!y are c]ta9ly obtuse1 b !y q quickly saw ?r\gh ?is4 ,( c\rse a games blood takes inf9itely high] rank ?an any assi/ant ma/] "u ?irty1 9 fact ?an all ( u except ! ,h\se-ma/]s3 he res5ts be+ patroniz$ by su* an up/>t1 = in/ance1 z myself4 ,consequ5tly1 by my action 9 ?is matt] ,i h let myself 9 = a feud :i* may la/ = ye>s4 ,i h deeply (f5d$ ! real rul]s ( ! s*ool4 ,x came ab\t ow+ to ! fact t ,i h sev]al prefects 7elect$ solely = _! beef9ess7 9 my l[ ma!matical sets4 ,!y nev] d any "w & altoge!r set a rott5 example to ! o!rs4 ,( late ,i h be5 puni%+ ^! boys v heavily1 to ! great a/oni%m5t ( !mselves & no little enjoym5t ( ! o!r boys4 ,"o ( ^! giants compla9$ to ,hall[s1 8 ,h\se-ma/]1 :o came to me 9 a t[]+ rage & told me t ,i 0 subv]t+ ! :ole ( ! ,public ,s*ool tradition1 l[]+ ! dignity ( ! prefects &--,heav5 kn[s :at besides4 ,h[ ! blazes are ^! fell[s go+ to keep ord] :5 ! re/ ( ! s*ool see t a "y new ma/] c defy !m at w & set !m puni%m5ts :i* degrade !m 9 ! sight ( _! own fags8 ,w\ldn't x be a good idea1 ,i repli$1 if prefects 7 n elect$ until !y _h ris5 high en\gh 9 ! s*ool n to h 'fags' 9 _! =ms8 ,aft] all1 "o ( ! reasons = com+ to s*ool is to "w1 ?\gh we seem to d our be/ to gloss ov] t inconv5i5t fact4 ,i h _h a s]ies ( visits lately f ,/apleton1 :o 0 at ,ox=d ) me3 he has be5 appo9t$ curate at ,todsdale1 an enorm\s m9+ t[n1 & ! life !re is ne>ly kill+ him4 ,! et]nal squalor & dre>9ess ( ! life1 ! pett9ess ( ! r\t9e at ! ,cl]gy ,h\se1 ! lack ( any intellectual or /hetic int]e/s all bid fair to s5d him out ( 8 m9d4 ,he usually comes ov] on a motor-bicycle on ,?ursday aft]noons1 & p\rs out all 8 tr\bles z we walk up & d[n ! sea%ore3 he reads to me 8 s]mons1 he gives me graphic acc\nts ( ! qu>rels ab\t c]emonial & duty t occur daily ov] meals 9 ! ,cl]gy ,h\se1 ( "s ( ! hovels he has to visit1 ( 8 oppon5ts among ! laity & s on4 ,he seems to be gett+ mix$ up ) "s mill-girl 9 a way ,i c't q und]/&3 x s\nds z if h] p 7 try+ _! h>de/ to secure him z a husb& = _! daught]3 p]haps !y "k t he has consid]able private means1 = ! av]age curate is n mu* ( a cat* 9 ! eyes ( ! nor?-c\ntry factory work]3 he has no prospects4 ,i mu/ say ,i admire ,/apleton's c\rage & devotion to duty 9 cutt+ himself (f f ! beauties ( ! s\?1 f all dec5t society1 & all *ance ( meet+ a girl ( 8 own /atus3 x mu/ be a t]rible life = him1 = 8 s5ses are n blunt$4 ,he sits & mopes1 ?9k+ ov] old days :5 he too liv$ 9 ,arcadia4 ,i don't ?9k t ,i c\ld ev] settle d[n 9 ! nor?4 ,i l ! bu/le & ! s5se ( importance t possesses ! money-mak]s 9 ,le$s1 b ,i object to ! abs5ce ( sun1 ( ! sleepy happ9ess ( ! s\?2 ! crude dialect1 rasp+ & h>d1 seems typical ( ! p "h4 ,!y seem to h no "t to devote to any?+ :i* does n actually increase _! income1 !y pride !mselves on _! p>simony & yet !y are /rangely inconsi/5t4 ,i h j got back f a ,h\se supp]1 a qua9t t]m9al affair held by ! ,h\se :i* w9s ! ,s5ior ,a?letic ,cup = ! t]m3 h[ diff]5t ^! tame1 n]v\s affairs are f ! full-blood$1 riot\s orgies ( ,ox=d days4 ,x appe>s t x is necess>y to get a man drunk be=e y c really put him at 8 ease at a big ga!r+4 ,! mu*-wat]$ cl>et-cup :i* passes = /rong dr9k at ^! s*ool-%[s is pitiable en\gh1 b x is typical ( ! _s ( ! :ole ?+4 ,mo/ ( ! pr9cipals conc]n$ are 9 a /ate ( pitiable t]ror because ( ! spee*es :i* !y are expect$ to make at ! conclusion ( ! fea/4 ,conv]sation is t$i\s & conduct$ 9 und]tones2 !re are frequ5t dead sil5ces2 ,h\se-ma/]s "w unflagg+ly to put p at _! ease1 b e "o feels consci\s ( 8 clo!s & 8 neighb\r's criticisms4 ,we are all afraid ( say+ ! wrong ?+ or ( omitt+ to praise "s "o :o coa*$ ! team or play$ well3 e "t "s "n is left out :i* ought to h be5 includ$1 "s "o ask$ to s+ :o breaks d[n1 "s "o to speak :o only succe$s 9 /amm]+ out platitudes4 ,& yet if !re ev] 0 a man calculat$ to put p at _! ease1 x is ! ,h\se-ma/] 9 ^: h\se ,i live4 ,hea!r+ton is "o ( ! f9e/ m5 ,i h ev] met3 he repres5ts ! high-wat] m>k 9 s*oolma/]s4 ,he is an excell5t s*ol>1 br$ 9 ! be/ traditions ( ,eton & ,*ri/ ,*ur*1 ( good family1 h>d z nails physically1 a d\ble ,blue1 a prom95t m\nta9e]1 a born humori/1 well-to-d1 ^: "o great aim 9 life is to make & keep 8 ,h\se fam\s = sportsm51 s*ol>s & g5tlem54 ,he kn[s 8 boys ?r\gh & ?r\gh & makes fri5ds ) all ( !m3 e "o 9 ! place is devot$ to him4 ,he belongs to no clique 9 ! ,common ,room1 b pres]ves ! be/ traditions ( ! ,engli%man 9 8 own life & 9 t ( 8 boys4 ,yet ev5 he _c atta9 ! unatta9able3 he _c make a ,h\se supp] g4 ,! only p :o enjoy !mselves to ! full are ! fags3 !y h no responsibility1 !y simply eat & dr9k & applaud4 ,= ! re/ ( u x is "o long agony4 ,*ri/mas1 #aiaj ,z usual ,i h come home = ,*ri/mas3 z usual ,i miss ,rad*e/] & my boys m ?an ,i c say4 ,!re is no?+ to d "h except visit ! villag]s1 g = walks ) my "m1 & write lett]s4 ,i l ! villag]s be/ at our ,*ri/mas dances4 ,!y are m natural !n1 & s+ & talk & play games & dance ) utt] ab&on3 !y no long] suspect "o ( ult]ior1 hidd5 motives4 ,!y ext5d ! "r h& ( fell[%ip & we all give ourselves up to :ole-he>t$ enjoym5t4 ,!y are all1 "y & old1 cont5t to be z *ildr51 innoc5t & fri5dly1 actuat$ by no o!r motive ?an ! giv+ & tak+ ( pleasure4 ,w\ld t !y 7 always l ?is4 ,i h be5 gett+ up debates 9 ! village in/itute ?is ,*ri/mas1 & ,i h be5 surpris$ at ! high level ( intellig5ce display$ & ! s9c]ity ( ! oratory ( ! few :o speak4 ,!y 7 diffid5t at fir/1 b soon w>m$ up z !y got int]e/$ & we h always r\s$ consid]able w>m? ( feel+ be=e we h f9i%$ ! ev5+'s ent]ta9m5t4 ,:at does di/ress me ab\t village life is ! education4 ,i am almo/ c]ta9 t no education at all w\ld be bett] ?an ! pres5t half-&-half sy/em4 ,to take away a boy or girl f s*ool at ?irte5 or f\rte5 is crim9al3 *ildr5 at t age h j be5 tra9$ to want to "k--& !y are !n tak5 away & ! lab\r ( ye>s all undone by be+ pu%$ into mills1 on to f>ms1 or beh9d c\nt]s1 :]e no?+ b me*anical ob$i5ce & s]vility are requir$4 ,!y =get to read1 !y =get h[ to write1 !y h no int]e/ 9 ! ?+s ( ! m9d4 ,x amazes me t !y gr[ up at all ) any?+ b animal in/9cts4 ,education 9 ,engl&1 s f> z ! majority ( ! *ildr5 g1 is useless & w cont9ue to be s until x is made compulsory t no boy or girl %all leave s*ool be=e ! age ( sixte5 or sev5te54 ,y c't d mu* ) m9dless l\ts ( eighte5 ) "o h\r's ,bible lesson a week4 ,if any "o disbelieves ?is1 let him try to coa* a doz5 villag]s 9 amateur !atricals3 ,i've tri$ x & ,i "k4 ,!y are simply blocks ( wood once y put !m on a plat=m4 ,! av]age ,public ,s*ool boy ( fifte5 is q at home on ! /age3 y\r yokel ( any age is simply /iff & lifeless1 unable to be anybody b himself1 *>coal 8 face nev] s deeply4 ,janu>y #ae1 #aiaa ,i h _h a gay =tnight 9 ! ,pott]ies1 /ay+ ) ! ,pasleys4 ,"y ,pasley is 9 ,hea!r+ton's h\se & 9 my =m2 8 fa!r is a tile manufactur] & fabul\sly weal?y4 ,i f\nd ! :ole family lovable4 ,!y live 9 a l>ge h\se 9 ! middle ( grimy ,hanley4 ,!y are real sons ( ! soil & pr\d ( x4 ,! fa!r & "m speak broad ,/af=d%ire1 ! ?ree girls & ! two boys z ! result ( ,public ,s*ool education are ultra-ref9$ & are incl9$ to bully _! p>5ts1 :o1 h[ev]1 hold ! :ip-h&4 ,!y h high tea in/ead ( d9n]2 !y sit d[n sob]ly 9 ! ev5+ to he> ,adela 7:o is fre% home f ,dresd5 & is engag$ to ! local curate7 play ! viol94 ,at t5 ,mrs4 ,pasley rises )1 ,well1 lads1 x's "t = bye-bye3 ,i'll be say9' good neet to y1 ,me/]4 ,!y delight 9 %[+ me ov] ! w>eh\ses4 ,!y love e in* ( _! hide\s /reets & pr\dly po9t out ! excell5ce ( _! s*ools1 _! public ba?s1 _! %ops & !atres2 e "o kn[s e "o else4 ,!y almo/ b[ ! knee at ! "n ( ,w$gwood1 !y unaffect$ly despise ,london4 ,!y "k t ! hub ( ! univ]se is to be f\nd 9 ! ,five ,t[ns4 ,! exact income ( e visitor to ! h\se is kn[n & talk$ ab\t almo/ to ! exclusion ( e o!r topic4 ,!y read no?+ at all2 !y g5ially reg>d me z a fool = wa/+ my bra9s at s*ool-tea*+1 z !y call x1 b !y are g5ial & hospitable4 ,look+ back on x1 my visit seems to h be5 a long succession ( fe$+ f[ls1 danc+1 %opp+1 & look+ at priceless *9a 9 ! mak+4 ,i _h "o or two long talks ) fa!r ,pasley on ! subject ( ,public ,s*ool education3 he is n q c]ta9 t he is gett+ 8 money's wor? at ,rad*e/]4 ,t lad ( m9e is n squeez+ all he might out ( yon s*ool3 ,i don't l ?r[+ a hundr$ & tw5ty quid a ye> into ! sea4 ,y've got antique me?ods ( le>n+ a lad ma!matics at y\r place1 ,me/]1 & ,i don't hold ) ignorance2 classics & su* fal-lals is all "r = p>sons & ! likes ( y1 b my lad's n go+ to be a p>son nor a s*ool-tea*] nee!r3 he's go+ into t' bus9ess & he kn[s x3 he's go+ to h to e>n 8 brass1 same z ,i did m9e4 ,i don't believe 9 a lad be+ br\ght up s(t ) ! notion z 'ow he's go+ to h a m9t o' money at 8 f+]s' ends to play ! fool )4 ,pasley & ,son's a firm z wants m5 z 'ev got "s grit to 'em3 ,i s5ds my boy to s*ool to get grit--le>n 'im t1 ,me/]1 & let ! re/ g4 ,,vi ,m>* #c1 #aiaa ,^! ,ea/] t]ms1 %ort z !y are1 are a big /ra9 on ! n]v\s sy/em3 no soon] d we get back to "w ?an "s luckless y\? spreads measles1 *ick5-pox1 sc>let fev] or "s o!r malady ?r\gh ! s*ool1 & we h to tea* deplet$ =ms1 drill deplet$ companies & play ,h\se games ) half our side away4 ,i f9d t my fav\rite illness is influ5za4 ,i usually manage to keep a sort ( runn+ cold all ?r\gh ! w9t] mon?s1 :i* develops p]iodically into t vile sickness2 x is !n t ,i get pessimi/ic4 ,i feel intol]ably lonely & uncom=table1 & sigh = ! sunny s\? & w>m? & cosy fires & m humane companion%ip4 ,! doctor "h is a de>1 b r r\gh & ready 9 8 me?ods4 ,he hasn't ! "t to wa/e 8 h\rs on individual cases1 nei!r is he exactly an exp]t4 ,x is dreadful to lie 9 b$ & he> ! tramp ( feet d[n ! cloi/]s1 ! bells r++ = *apel1 hall & s*ool & n be 9 x4 ,"o is =gott5 almo/ at once by e "o4 ,p simply hav5't ! "t to sit at a b$side ev5 if !y want$ to1 & ,i long = conv]sation & a *e]y laugh on ^! occasions4 ,s*ool is all "r s long z "o keeps fit1 b once fall out ( ! race & x is a v]itable hell4 ,my la/ b\t ( flu has left my n]ves 9 a ?or\ghly disord]$ condition3 ,i feel almo/ suicidal at times4 ,i get v re/less4 ,i long to create 9 writ+3 ( late ,i h be5 try+1 )\t any great success1 9 all sorts ( directions1 v]se1 %ort /ories1 plays1 articles--ev5 a novel4 ,ev]y?+ ,i submit to publi%]s comes back aft] ,i h endur$ agonies ( anticipation 9 wait+4 ,some?+ is wrong4 ,yet ,i feel conv9c$ t ,i h x 9 me to write4 ,i c only let myself g 9 ?is di>y3 "h ,i don't h to ?9k ( publi%]s or editors4 ,i write j to please myself4 ,t is :at s delights me 9 read+ ,pepys4 ,he j rattles on ) no ?\ght ( an audi5ce1 absolutely unselfconsci\s4 ,i look on ?is di>y z a secret companion to :om ,i c confide all my tr\bles & joys3 my hatr$ ( ,hall[s1 my love = ! boys1 my !ories on education1 ! good days ( ! holidays1 books ,i h read--any?+ & ev]y?+ t int]e/s me4 ,i am quietly amass+ a libr>y4 ,i only wi% t ,i c\ld rely on borr[]s to return ! books ,i l5d !m4 ,x is n ! slighte/ good my go+ into =m & advis+ boys to read ,lamb & ,br[n+ & ,dick5s & ,?ack]ay unless ,i c provide ! books = !m4 ,! ,h\se libr>ies are "u-equipp$1 ! s*ool libr>y is only accessible to ! ,six? ,=m4 ,b boys h no consci5ces 9 ! matt] ( return+ books3 !y pref] to cut ! fly-leaf out & sub/itute _! own names 9 "s cases6 ,/ill my job is to in/il a love = ! old & new ma/]s ( lit]ature by :atev] means1 & to d ?is ,i suppose ,i mu/ n grudge an impov]i%$ libr>y4 ,"o ?+ t annoys me is ! fact t ,i _c %>e all my treasures ) ! boys4 ,mo/ mod]n writ+ is too /rong w9e = adolesc5ts4 ,i wi% ,common ,room did n also imag9e t x is too /rong meat = _! innoc5t m9ds4 ,x seems to me t ! man :o refuses to try to keep abrea/ ( all ! mod]n ?\ght has no "r to be a s*oolma/] at all4 ,:at 9 ! _w is ! use ( liv+ solely on a diet ( ! ,times & ! ,spectator8 ,i advocat$ ! ,new ,/atesman = ! read+-room & 0 promptly h[l$ d[n4 ,app>5tly ! idea t a man c look on bo? sides ( a "q is look$ on "h z prepo/]\s4 ,:at ! ,spectator says is look$ ^u z a f9al judgm5t 9 all ?+s4 ,! middle articles ( t q e/imable pap] are read al\d z examples ( p]fect mod]n ,engli% /yle to boys 9 ! top =ms1 & !y are incit$ to ape x assidu\sly4 ,occasionally1 on ,sunday morn+s1 a progressive "y ma/] w read a little ,9 ,memoriam or ,a ,dea? 9 ! ,des]t to 8 =m z a v>iant to ord9>y ,div9ity1 b he does s trembl+ly le/ au?ority %\ld he> ( x & rebuke him4 ,"o ( our m5 prea*+ la/ ,sunday ev5 v5tur$ to read an extract f ,romola1 9 ! pulpit1 b apologiz$ pr(\ndly = s do+ & damn$ poor ,george ,eliot ) fa9t praise by say+1 ,%e 0 n a bad woman4 ,!re h be5 a numb] ( feuds 9 ,common ,room lately :i* h rem9d$ me ( ! umbrella episode 9 ,mr4 ,p]r9 & ,mr4 ,traill4 ,"y ,r[ntree :o jo9$ u ?is t]m has a bro!r 9 ! army :o happ5s to be /ation$ close by3 he _h him ov] to d9n] "o night la/ week & br\ght 9 "s fizz to liv5 ?+s up a bit4 ,he sits1 ( c\rse1 at ! bottom ( ! junior table1 n v f> f me4 ,n wi%+ to appe> nigg>dly to ! re/ ( u he br\ght 9 ?ree bottles 9 ord] to pass !m r\nd to ^? :o sat ne> him4 ,we _h a q riot\s orgie & = ! fir/ "t s9ce ,i h be5 at ,rad*e/] ! junior table q dr[n$ ! s5ior bo? 9 laught] & conv]sation4 ,x really 0 funny to wat* ! :ite drawn faces ( ! wat] dr9k]s ( ! top table1 ) ! "o syphon ( seltz] z relief1 :ile we1 up/>ts ( a new age1 7 regal+ ourselves ) ,pomm]y4 ,!re 0 a fe>ful r[ ab\t x aft]w>ds4 ,r[ntree 0 writt5 to by half ! /aff 7:o _h n ta/$ ! *ampagne7 ab\t ! etiquette ) reg>d to visitors4 ,x 0 only by c\rtesy ( ! s5ior memb]s t junior ma/]s 7 all[$ to invite visitors at all3 x 0 tak5 = grant$ t if su* a privilege 7 ext5d$ juniors w\ld n abuse x by dr9k+ any?+ b wat]4 ,!re 0 a battle royal4 ,r[ntree is "y en\gh n to give 9 )\t a /ruggle3 dur+ ! la/ week he has tak5 9 a bottle ( "s sort to d9n] e night4 ,he is ! k9d ( man :o won't be kept long] ?an a t]m4 ,he rags 8 =m & incites !m to rag him & ev]ybody else4 ,he refuses to take ,rad*e/] s]i\sly3 he walks across ! prefect's lawn 7an unp>donable (f5ce = a ma/]71 he walks ab\t arm-9-arm ) ! boys 9 8 =m if he likes !m2 he swe>s q op5ly & flu5tly 9 ,common ,room1 he takes away ! pap]s s t he c read !m com=tably 9 8 own room & =gets to return !m1 he ev5 smokes cig>s 9 ! ma/]s' read+-room4 ,! old m5 c d no?+ ) him3 he is imp]vi\s to black looks & misund]/&s rebukes4 ,he cuts e o!r *apel & usually =gets to take prep4 or roll4 ,on halves he always goes away1 sometimes z f> afield z ,le$s or ,york on 8 motor-bicycle1 & does n arrive home till two or ?ree ! next morn+4 ,he we>s bright ties1 silk socks1 s(t coll>s1 & v well-fitt+ light clo!s1 totally reg>dless ( ! conv5tion :i* dem&s black f boy & ma/] alike4 ,he is a v di/urb+ factor 9 ,common ,room & e "o is mov+ ,heav5 & ,e>? to h him sack$4 ,:at worries me ab\t him is 8 ability3 he writes ) consid]able success4 ,he confess$ to me "o day t he only meant to /ay "o t]m3 ,i want copy = a novel ,i h 9 my m9d--^! old fossils ) _! mo?-eat51 /]eotyp$ cons]vatism give me a gr& field4 ,i guess ?is is j ! be/ ,public ,s*ool 9 ! c\ntry = my purpose1 b my hat1 ,i %\ldn't c>e to h to /ick at x = a ye>4 ,x's funny to ?9k t y all 7 alive once z und]graduates4 ,he read a *apt] or two ( 8 book to me ! o!r day3 he's got ! _s ( ! place exactly4 ,i wi% ,i _h 8 gift4 ,he sees ev]y?+ & has ! p[] ( sift+ 8 evid5ce ) wond]ful accuracy3 he misses no?+4 ,s9ce he came ,i h giv5 up my ,sunday walks ) ,r5ton1 :o talks ( no?+ b dyspepsia & 8 own p[]s ( tea*+1 & h accompani$ ,r[ntree on "s ( 8 excursions on 8 motor-bicycle4 ,we lun* 9 ,sc>bor\gh & get into conv]sation ) week-end]s4 ,r[ntree looks on all humanity z copy1 & is )\t any s5se ( mode/y4 ,he picks up l\ng]s 9 hotel b>s1 girls beh9d c\nt]s1 girls on ! pi]1 tramps1 hotel port]s1 nuts 9 ! hotel l\nge & all sorts ( unexpect$ p4 ,he always gets "s fanta/ic /ory out ( !m3 he is z good a /ory-tell] z ,george ,borr[ & j z great a li>4 ,8 imag9ation comb9$ ) 8 exp]i5ce make him a r>e raconteur4 ,he doesn't buy _m books1 b he is n av]se f borr[+ m9e4 ,i only regret t ,i c nev] get !m back2 he is q %ameless 9 ! matt] ( purlo9+ lit]ature3 he takes books out ( ! s*ool libr>y )\t ent]+ !m & soon beg9s to ?9k t !y really belong to him4 ,he rem9ds me a good deal ( a boy call$ ,s5h\se :o is also unable to b[ ! knee 9 ! h\se ( ,rimmon2 he con=ms to none ( ! s*ool regulations & h[ he has escap$ expulsion up to n[ beats me4 ,at pres5t he is rais+ = himself untold tr\ble by mak+ fri5ds ) a small boy call$ ,gillman 9 ,hall[s' h\se4 ,he is desp]ately fond ( ?is *ild1 & waxes q s5tim5tal ov] him to me4 ,!re is no h>m 9 ei!r ( !m1 & !y are z op5 z ! day 9 _! relations ) "o ano!r3 !y wait = ea* o!r aft] *apel1 hall1 & s*ool4 ,!y g = long walks toge!r1 !y contrive to sit toge!r at s*ool lectures & 9 prep4 ,hall[s & ,hea!r+ton h ea* lectur$ bo? ( !m1 & ,hall[s has can$ ,gillman frequ5tly1 b !y refuse to give up ! fri5d%ip4444 ,common ,room is z usual 9 a fr5zy ov] x & ,i h be5 report$ to ! ,head ,ma/] = aid+ & abett+ !m 9 _! sc&al\s defiance ( rules by hav+ !m to tea toge!r 9 my rooms4 ,9 my def5ce ,i m5tion$ t boys came & w5t j z !y pleas$ 9 my rooms & t ,i c\ldn't v well prohibit any "o ( !m at any special "t4 ,i also po9t$ out t ,i fail$ to see :]e ! h>m lay 9 ?is p>ticul> case ( ,damon & ,py?ias1 t su* a fri5d%ip might well be ! sav+ ( ,s5h\se1 :o is naturally incl9$ to be wild & re/less4 ,l ,r[ntree1 he has a habit ( cutt+ *apel1 prep41 s*ool1 games1 & ev]y?+ t is compulsory1 :5ev] he feels l x4 ,he always takes 8 puni%m5ts )\t a murmur1 b he likes to feel t he c escape f ! r\t9e :5 x be>s on him too h>%ly3 !re is no speck ( h>m 9 8 composition1 any m ?an !re is 9 ,r[ntree1 b no "o "h c\ld ev] und]/& ! po9t ( view ( ei!r ( !m4 ,mean:ile ! /orm rages & ,gillman & ,s5h\se cont9ue to meet1 :ile ,hall[s gr9ds 8 tee? 9 impot5t ang]4 ,all ! same ! iron sy/em w prevail 9 ! end1 r\t9e always has ! la/ ^w3 !y w bo? be expell$ = cont9u$ disob$i5ce ( s*ool rules1 ?\gh no?+ crim9al c be prov$ aga9/ !m4 ,a boy's love = ano!r boy is a pretty /rong ?+3 x c )/& ridicule1 puni%m5t1 & any weapon t au?ority c br+ to be> aga9/ x 9 ! case ( su* a fai?ful pair z ^! two4 ,i _c see :at useful purpose c be s]v$ by ^! iron rules1 :i* all[ ( no exceptions2 t1 normally speak+1 x is bett] = boys n to make fri5ds outside _! own ,h\ses1 & n to enc\rage fri5d%ips 9 :i* !re is any disp>ity ( age is p]haps op5 to "q1 b at any rate /rong argum5ts c be adduc$ 9 support ( x--b :5 x comes to a piece ( wanton cruelty l ?is1 ! :ole bus9ess becomes silly4 ,i h air$ ?is op9ion 9 ,common ,room to ! no little indignation ( all ! /aff4 ,x is a relief to get back to ! seclusion ( my room & my books aft] all ! riots1 al>ums & excursions ( ^! s*ool r[s4 ,i wi% we c\ld le>n to pull toge!r in/ead ( squabbl+ l a pack ( gutt] *ildr54 ,i suppose ,i ought to keep quiet myself if ,i wi%$ ?is consummation s dev\tly1 b ,i _c /& by & see all my ideals sma%$ )\t remon/rat+4 ,x is a mi/ake to h]d ?irty or =ty m5 toge!r = meals & companion%ip = ?ree mon?s on end3 we ought to h our lives sweet5$ by m>riage4 ,yet ,i suppose t m>ri$ life w\ld take (f ! edge ( our ke5ness = our "w3 we %\ld h dome/ic int]e/s :i* w\ld prev5t u f devot+ ourselves :ole-he>t$ly to our "w4 ,sometimes ,i f9d myself dream+ & p9+ = ! life-companion%ip ( "s girl :o w\ld und]/& me & soo! my ruffl$ s5ses aft] a ,common ,room fight4 ,yet ,i suppose m>riage fett]s "o3 ! m>ri$ man is b\nd h& & foot1 & c no long] set out on great adv5tures4 ,he has giv5 ho/ages to =tune & mu/ be cont5t to play = safety = ! re/ ( 8 life4 ,i c't see myself do+ t4 ,i want to be free z ! air1 free to play games1 free to say :at ,i l & risk be+ sack$ if ,i (f5d4 ,yet ,i wond] sometimes1 l ,*>les ,lamb1 :at my *ildr5 w\ld be l4 ,x w\ld be spl5did to p]petuate my "n1 to see ano!r g5]ation c>ry+ on ! "w ,i h begun4 ,!re are s _m *anges to be wr\ght 9 education4 ,we live 9 an age ( pione]s3 we are no long] cont5t m]ely to accept ! traditions ( our fa!rs4 ,we want to bett] _! me?ods & results3 we le>n by ! mi/akes ( our =be>s4 ,! ,head ,ma/] hates ?is view4 ,8 idea is t only ?r\gh exp]i5ce c a man really tea*1 !re=e we %\ld accept ! t5ets :i* our eld]s hold & abide fai?fully by !m4 ,april #c1 #aiaa ,i h be5 ( late read+ numb]s ( books on education4 ,! days ( ,?r+ & ,arnold are ov]2 in/ead ( two textbooks on ! !ory1 !re are n[ two hundr$ or two ?\s&4 ,e day sees "s new !sis appe> hot f ! press4 ,p are beg9n+ to take an int]e/ 9 :at is1 aft] all1 ! mo/ important dep>tm5t 9 ! ,/ate4 ,9 all ( ^! books ,i f9d ! same po9ts rais$4 ,z at pres5t practis$1 education does n tea* ! y\ng] g5]ation to love ! beautiful or ! intellectual3 )\t su* a love all education is wor? no?+4 ,h[ to atta9 ^! affections is ! next "q4 ,"o man advocates ! abolition ( exam9ations1 ano!r ! sub/itution ( any me?od r ?an t ( rew>ds & puni%m5ts1 ano!r sees salvation 9 ! tea*+ ( ,engli% lit]ature1 geography & hi/ory1 to ! exclusion ( ! classics1 & ! cutt+ d[n ( ma!matics--b someh[ ,i c't make mu* ( ^! books on !ory4 ,i make m>g9al notes1 und]l9e passages1 copy out good advice & ,i try to put :at ,i believe to be practicable into practice1 b on ! :ole ,i am left some:at cold4 ,i am on ! se>* = a ri* m9e &1 al?\gh ,i (t5 feel t ,i am ne> x1 ,i nev] q succe$ 9 do+ m ?an une>?+ "o preci\s morsel ( ore4 ,9 "s ways ! ,head ,ma/] 0 "r :5 he told me to read no books on education4 ,he 0 "r because ,i f9d no?+ really new !re4 ,i am told to fo/] a boy's imag9ation3 ,i sp5d all my "t 9 try+ to d ?is1 & %\ld d s ev5 if ,i _h read no?+ :atev] ab\t education4 ,only on ,sunday nights1 aft] a peculi>ly good s]mon & inspir+ hymns1 c "o at all rea* ! mood 9 :i* x is possible to discuss q op5ly ) boys exactly :at education means to y & ought to mean to !m4 ,in/ead ( ru%+ out ( *apel & fight+ = places at ! sidebo>d 9 ,common ,room ov] ! *ick5 & salmon1 ,i g to my rooms & talk quietly to su* boys z c get leave to come !n4 ,mo/ ,h\se-ma/]s refuse to let _! boys come to my rooms at all dur+ lock-up4 ,!y ?9k my influ5ce is q def9itely p]nici\s & immoral4 ,9 o!r words ,i try to develop ! imag9ation4 ,i h made fri5ds dur+ ! la/ two or ?ree weeks ) ,copple/one1 :o is a ,h\se-ma/] ( a v religi\s turn ( m9d4 ,he dislikes corporal puni%m5t & is h5ce look$ ^u z anmic bo? by 8 boys & 8 colleagues4 ,he reads 7qua9tly en\gh7 no?+ b ,arnold ,b5nett4 ,i g up to 8 rooms & talk by ! h\r ab\t ,! ,old ,wives' ,tale1 ,clayhang]1 & ,hilda ,lessways3 he is r a pitiable sort ( man3 he feels t he owes 8 allegiance to ! old s*ool1 & yet he feels t we repres5t ! humanit>ian side ( education4 ,he is l ,sir ,?omas ,m1 torn betwe5 8 reason & emotion3 l ,sir ,?omas ,m he is go+ to suff] = 8 ill-tim$ bir?4 ,_h he be5 born t5 ye>s e>li] he w\ld h be5 a :ole-he>t$ uphold] ( l'anci5 rgime4 ,_h he be5 born t5 ye>s lat] he w\ld h be5 "o ( u & n c>$ a rap ab\t ! old m5 or tradition4 ,8 only c\rse is to resign & become a village prie/3 he w\ld be admirable ) old ladies1 & ! y\ng] memb]s ( 8 congregation w\ld approve ( him because ( 8 love = ,arnold ,b5nett4 ,"h he behaves l ,%elley's "m1 alt]nately pett+ & spoil+ 8 boys1 puni%+ !m out ( all proportion to _! (f5ce at "o mom5t1 only to let !m (f & fe$ !m extravagantly ! next4 ,! result is t no boy c tell :at he is go+ to d4 ,he is q unreliable3 he all[s himself to be hopelessly ragg$ = two days & !n fl>es up & half kills a q in(f5sive y\ng/] :o happ5s to c\gh4 ,i feel really sorry = him1 = no "o c>es = him4 ,he has successfully fall5 betwe5 two /ools & become despis$ by bo? ! great oppos+ =ces on ! /aff4 ,he is nei!r new nor old1 hot nor cold1 & exactly fulfils t horrible prophecy ( ,ezekiel ab\t be+ spew$ out ( ! m\? ( all p>ties4 ,?ank ,heav5 ?is t]m is ov]4 ,i hav5't le>nt mu* m ab\t my job3 ,i h _h "s illusions %att]$3 ,i h luckily made a few m fri5ds1 b boys are que]--"o is apt to (f5d !m )\t 9 ! lea/ kn[+ :y4 ,i %\ldn't c>e to sp5d my "t1 l ,smi?son1 :o lives = no?+ b to curry fav\r ) e boy he meets3 he's z bad z ! type ( boy :o always sucks up to ma/]s1 ! v wor/ sort ( creature4 ,smi?son treats !m all lavi%ly3 he makes fun ( ! weakl+s & ! unpopul>1 he toadies to ! prefects & g5]ally makes a damn$ fool ( himself4 ,he doesn't see1 poor devil1 t popul>ity1 l ,=tune1 is a fickle jade1 & only pursues ^? :o take no notice ( h] at all4 ,good ,god6 ,fancy becom+ a s*oolma/] 9 ord] to be popul>6 ,may #d1 #aiaa ,?is has be5 "o ( ! be/ ,ea/] holidays ,i c rememb]4 ,/apleton manag$ to get a mon?'s sick leave f 8 curacy & we set (f = ,ox=d & ! ,cotswolds1 to try to rega9 some?+ ( ! irresponsible gaiety ( ,ox=d days4 ,i _h no idea h[ hateful ! c\ntry r\nd ,rad*e/] 0 until ,i got back to ! ,city ( ,spires4 ,x seem$ impossible to believe t only two ye>s ago ,i _h /ill to take my ,f9als1 t ,i 0 disport+ myself on ! upp] riv] & ! ,*]1 lazily enjoy+ all ! sweets ( life & n[--well1 ,i felt ab\t a hundr$ ye>s old at ! end ( la/ t]m4 ,!re 0 no beauty or int]e/ any:]e or 9 any?+1 & !n ,/apleton wir$ = me--& s9ce !n life has be5 "o all too %ort ec/asy4 ,we /ay$ 9 ,ox=d j long en\gh to buy tobacco1 a few books & "s clo!s1 & !n set out on foot to g ov] aga9 "s ( ! c\ntry we _h le>nt to love s well z und]graduates4 ,rucksacks on back1 we climb$ ,cumnor ,hill on a glori\s spr+ morn+ & made our way d[n to ,bablock ,hy! & !n kept along by ! riv] = ! re/ ( ! day3 we /roll$ languidly & talk$ rabidly ab\t our s*ola/ic & *ur* exp]i5ces1 our disappo9tm5ts & successes4 ,! air cle>$ our m9ds3 we evolv$ great s*emes ( new s*ools & new religions1 undefil$ by effete traditions4 ,gradually ! beauty ( ! mead[s & ! old-_w villages made u =get our worries & we gave ourselves up to ! enjoym5t ( ! "t4 ,we travell$ )\t map or guide & j w&]$ at w4 ,:5 we saw an inn t we lik$ we /ay$ !re1 & ate & drank ourselves dr[sy4 ,at night-"t1 :5 ! b>-p>l\rs 7 clos$ & we _h reluctantly to say good night to ! lab\r]s :o came 9 & gave _! views on _w-politics1 we us$ to read = a little1 & !n to a t5 h\rs' sleep4 ,i _h tak5 ! ,note ,books ( ,samuel ,butl] z my pocket companion = ?is j\rney1 & ,i nev] took a book :i* s]v$ its purpose s well4 ,9 compact p>agraphs ! philosoph] sums up ) amaz+ %rewdness1 hum\r & insight into ! human m9d all t he discov]$ to be int]e/+ or wor? repeat+4 ,! ,note ,books are cramm$ ) ! cream ( 8 ?9k+ on e sort ( subject1 sci5ce1 music1 lit]ature1 religion1 ar*itecture1 %eep-f>m+1 au?or%ip--ev]y?+ t c\ld possibly appeal to any ?9k+ man4 ,x is an invaluable book to argue ab\t4 ,butl] at lea/ cle>s ! bra9 m ?an any writ] except ,swift4 ,he scatt]s p$agogy & all cant & humbug to ! w9ds3 j z ! air ( ! ,cotswolds scatt]s all ?\ghts ( ,rad*e/] f "o's m9d1 s does ,samuel ,butl] fill x ) new ideas & fre% weapons ( ?\ght4 ,/apleton & ,i kept on discov]+ old ,tudor h\ses ) moats1 & *ur*es conta9+ c>v$ scre5s & tombs ( ,crusad+ ,knights4 ,we /ay$ = ?ree days at an old mill at ,tr$+ton on ! ,fosse ,way1 miles f any t[n or /ation1 & !re he>d ! f>m]s s+ all ! old ,gl\ce/]%ire folk-songs 9 ! ,:eat%eaf ,inn4 ,?is has be5 a wond]ful holiday = me4 ,i wond] h[ _m m5 become s*oolma/]s simply 9 ord] to be able to h su* good holidays4 ,x is a great temptation to a man :o c>es no?+ = education3 he c submit to ! r\t9e all ! bett] if he is indiff]5t & has no ideals4 ,all he has to d is to sit tight = ?ree mon?s at a "t2 he is c]ta9ly n b\nd to ex]t himself v sev]ely by ! lett] ( 8 contract4 ,!n come ^! gold5 weeks ( lovely spr+ :5 he may disport himself z ,/apleton & ,i h done1 pry+ into unkn[n nooks & crannies ( m$ival ,engl&1 lazily w&]+ by h$g][ & riv]side1 gossip+ ov] gates to f>m]s1 read+ to 8 he>t's cont5t on sunny bea* or seclud$ mead[ by day1 or 9 ! +le-nook by night4 ,he has no c>es1 no worries3 8 sal>y w pay = all ^! jaunts s long z he /e]s cle> ( ,london & big hotels4 ,if ! tru? 7 told1 ,i ?9k t ! reason :y a numb] ( m5 ent] ! pr(ession is no m ?an ! lure ( possess+ fre$om = a qu>t] ( _! lives4 ,i wond] if ?is is h[ old ,jumbo ,/ockton became a ma/]4 ,he is a mo/ lovable fell[ & q cont5t ) life4 ,he is associat$ ) none ( ! s*ool activities2 he plays no games except golf2 he is n 9 ! corps 7v few memb]s ( ,common ,room are72 he nev] ent]ta9s boys 9 8 rooms2 he does v little "w & is always ready = a *at or a walk at any h\r ( ! day or night4 ,he j purrs cont5t$ly l a cat & rambles on ab\t ,vacs4 t he has sp5t 9 ! ,ard5nes or ! ,pyr5ees1 ya*t+ r\nd ! coa/ ( ,scotl& or c>avan+ 9 ! ,new ,=e/4 ,8 "o bus9ess 9 life seems to be ! holidays2 8 rooms are fill$ ) ,ba$ek]s1 ,highways & ,byways1 & guides to e place "u ! sun4 ,( educational re=m or ideals1 9 o!r words1 ( %op he nev] talks4 ,mo/ ( u talk ( no?+ else4 ,common ,room conv]sation gets dreadfully oppressive at times ow+ to ! cont9u$ debates ab\t rules & ! *>act]s ( endless boys4 ,/ockton nev] ent]s into ^! controv]sies1 consequ5tly he is nev] at dagg]s drawn ) any ( u4 ,we all affect to despise him1 b secretly we are r envi\s ( 8 deta*m5t4 ,he seems q popul> ) ! boys1 he f9ds t x pays to adopt a /rict demean\r2 8 "w is nev] %irk$ & he r>ely has to puni% any "o4 ,i sometimes wond] :e!r he does n feel a sudd5 pang :5 "o ( 8 old associates at ,ox=d comes to ! front aft] ye>s ( /ruggl+ at ! ,b>1 9 politics1 or ! ,*ur*1 & leaves him beh9d 9 ! race ( life4 ,yet ,i h nev] met a m cont5t$ man4 ,he doesn't reg>d tea*+ z any?+ b a s9ecure3 8 ma9 occupation 9 life is travel4 ,he is r l a city cl]k :o goes up to 8 (fice e day solely 9 ord] to e>n en\gh to take a holiday4 ,! diff]5ce lies 9 ! fact t ,/ockton gets 8 rew>d ?ree times a ye>1 ! cl]k only once2 ! ma/] gets ?ree mon?s1 ! cl]k 7) luck7 ?ree weeks4 ,i suppose t ,i may reg>d myself z exactly ! opposite ( ,/ockton 9 e way4 ,i live = my "w3 he lives = 8 holidays4 ,:5 ! t]m is ov] ,i love to get away pr9cipally because ,rad*e/] w\ld be intol]able once ! boys 7 gone1 secondly because ,i want to fill myself up ) new ideas1 to develop my !ory t ! cult ( beauty & imag9ation is ! :ole duty ( ! s*oolma/]4 ,i r>ely =get ! s*ool 9 ! holidays4 ,all ! "t t ,i am explor+ new sc5es ,i am /or+ up memories :i* ,i hope to use 9 my "w4 ,all my talks ) ,/apleton dur+ ^! la/ few weeks h be5 s mu* sift+ ( matt] :i* ,i want to get cle> be=e ,i />t on a new t]m4 ,! difficulty is t s few ( ! m5 9 ,common ,room ?9k x necess>y to d m ?an prep>e ! textbooks !y propose to read ) _! =ms1 :ile ,i read up all ,i c on social problems4 ,i /rive to discov] new me?ods ( int]e/+ boys 9 ! conditions ( life outside s*ool4 ,9 s do+ ,i am frequ5tly attack$ on ! gr\nd t ,i am mak+ !m re/less & dissatisfi$ ) _! n>r[ r\nd at s*ool4 ,i am n c]ta9 t re/lessness is a ?+ to be condemn$3 unless y are discont5t$ ) abuses y w nev] /ir a f+] to re=m !m1 & unless a boy leaves s*ool firmly conv9c$ t x is 8 duty to leave ! _w bett] ?an he f\nd x1 education means no?+4 ,/apleton has gone back to "w re9vigorat$1 fully det]m9$ to be> ) ! _m ?orns 9 8 fle%1 9 ! %ape ( irritat+ curates1 ! dead weight ( indiff]5ce to religion1 morality1 or high ideals 9 ! bulk ( 8 p>i%ion]s1 ) notes = a doz5 s]mons 9 8 head1 & a heal?y conviction t 9 spite ( tempor>y setbacks ! _w really is progress+4 ,i return to ,rad*e/] det]m9$ to alt] = ! bett] ! code ( morality ( ! s*ool1 to make boys see t "w is n a disgraceful ?+ to be avoid$ :5ev] possible1 b ! only means by :i* any "o c equip himself to fight ! battle ( life3 ,i return det]m9$ to live at peace ) my colleagues s f> z x is possible1 to be m sociable & less critical1 to dwell m insi/5tly ^u ! ?+s t matt]1 & to try to wean away my boys f sp5d+ !mselves ^u unwor?y objects1 to fo/] a love = all t is pure & good & holy & to appreciate ! millions ( manife/ations ( ,beauty t nature displays ev5 at ,rad*e/] = our spiritual delectation4 ,,vii ,june #d1 #aiaa ,we've be5 back a mon? & _m ?+s h happ5$ s9ce ,i la/ wrote 9 my di>y4 ,9 ! fir/ place ,m>%all has gone4 ,i am mu* too ne> ! ev5t to be able to judge ( x sanely & ,i c't write ( x at l5g?4 ,he 0 always antagoni/ic to me4 ,i c't say ,i lik$ him b ,i tri$ nev] to %[ my av]sion4 ,he 0 repulsive 9 e way1 b 8 s]mons 7 good3 he 0 a good discipl9>ian & tea*]4 ,boys 9 8 =m 7 at any rate ?or\ghly taught4 ,9 m9e !y fail because ,i always attempt too mu*4 ,i envi$ him 8 gifts a good deal4 ,! reason ( my qu>rel ) him 0 ,dav5try4 ,dav5try is 9 8 ,h\se & 9 my =m & is ! mo/ a/oni%+ y\? ,i h yet come across4 ,he has a f]tile bra9 & 8 sole object 9 life is to d e "o d[n3 he w probably end 9 prison or ,p>k ,lane4 ,he is q unscrupul\s 7,i h already f\nd him rummag+ among my lett]s & ?is di>y to f9d out ?+s ab\t ma/]s & boys73 he f9ds me useful j at pres5t1 because he c sponge on me = food & books3 he reads & eats omnivor\sly4 ,he has decid$ gifts & is safe = a good s*ol>%ip at ,ox=d unless he gets sack$ fir/1 :i* is exce$+ly likely4 ,someh[ he has ! trick ( gett+ out ( all ! scrapes he f9ds himself 93 he has ! p[] ( mak+ p believe him1 ev5 aft] he has deceiv$ !m be=e4 ,he haunts my rooms night & day4 ,m>%all res5t$ ?is & =bade him to come except on bus9ess4 ,he imm$iately inv5t$ bus9ess by writ+ v]ses & essays1 :i* he produc$ = my inspection at ! rate ( ab\t two a day4 ,aft] all x hurt me to be told by ,m>%all t my influ5ce on ! boy 0 bad4 ,i am afraid ,dav5try is bad ?r\gh & ?r\gh1 b ,i'm go+ to make a big ef=t to ca/ out ! devils 9 him be=e he leaves4 ,!re are signs ( grace c]ta9ly3 he is v emotional & is passionately fond ( read+ & music4 ,i h lately b\ght a gramophone1 & any records t he wants to he> ,i buy = him at once2 consequ5tly1 ,i f9d him 9 my rooms :5 ,i come 9 f games ) a rapt expression on 8 face1 hav+ sp5t ! entire aft]noon by himself1 giv+ himself up to ! joy ( he>+ good music4 ,he cuts games ) impunity--if !re is any likelihood ( tr\ble he =ges a leave2 he is disconc]t+ly op5 ) me 9 ^! ?+s4 ,hav+ put me 9 a difficult position by rely+ on me n to give him away1 he divulges "o s*eme aft] ano!r = outwitt+ au?ority4 ,t he ne$s v c>eful h&l+ ,i naturally see1 b :y ,m>%all %\ld h tak5 x = grant$ t ,i only d ! boy h>m ,i don't "k4 ,anyway1 ,m>%all did 8 be/ to prev5t my see+ ,dav5try at all4 ,t naturally only piqu$ ! boy to try to circumv5t him 9 e possible way4 ,?+s came to su* a pass t ,i _h to let ,m>%all "k t he 0 driv+ ! boy to extremities :i* he might regret4 ,x 0 r silly ( me4 ,he rat$ me l\dly be=e all ,common ,room = int]f]+ 9 ano!r man's bus9ess4 ,he !n laun*$ into a diatribe aga9/ ! uppi%ness & infallibility ( ! junior ma/]s1 & decl>$ t ! s*ool 0 quickly be+ ru9$ by ! new blood4 ,he rant$ at "s l5g? & = a wond] ,i kept sil5t & li/5$ to x all )\t comm5t4 ,& n[ ?is awful ?+ has happ5$4 ,dav5try kept away f me :5 ,i told him t !re 0 no o!r c\rse op54 ,he w5t ab\t ?reat5+ v5geance on ,m>%all1 & ev5 />t$ writ+ to me by po/4 ,he 0 badly hipp$ at be+ depriv$ ( music & books & food4 ,i don't believe he c>es a tupp5ny curse ab\t me4444 ,!n came t nev]-to-be-=gott5 ,sunday morn+ :5 ,i f\nd him 9 my rooms aft] breakfa/ ) a small1 untidy fag 9 t[4 ,!y bo? look$ z ?\gh !y _h be5 condemn$ to ! guillot9e4 ,hello1 ,dav5try1 ,i began1 :at on e>? are y do+ "h8 ,don't y "k---- ,he cut me %ort4 ,ersk9e has some?+ v important to say to y1 sir1 he broke 91 9 a voice ,i sc>cely recogniz$ z 84 ,all "r2 fire away1 my son1 ,i repli$4 ,get x (f y\r *e/1 :atev] x is--all ! same ,i don't q see :at ,dav5try is do+4 ,he--he made me come1 sir1 said ,ersk9e4 ,he !n told 8 /ory4 ,x 0 s revolt+ t ,i fir/ refus$ to believe x2 ,i ?\ght x 0 "s damnable s*eme ( ,dav5try's1 got up to ru9 8 ,h\se-ma/]--,i ne>ly kick$ bo? ( !m d[n/airs )\t he>+ !m to a f9i%4 ,in/ead ( :i* ,i w5t /raight to ! ,head & took !m ) me4 ,m>%all w5t on ,tuesday4 ,e "o believes t he is s]i\sly ill3 aft] ?is t]m !y w give out t he has retir$4 ,i h lately wond]$ :e!r ,i ought n to h gone to see him & told him t ,i knew3 c\ldn't x h be5 possible to keep him on at 8 po/8 ,nev] aga9 %all ,i move a f+] t[>ds ! undo+ ( any man1 h[ev] mu* an enemy ( m9e he may be4 ,all ,m>%all's int]e/ 9 life 0 b\nd up 9 ,rad*e/]4 ,i am daily assault$ by fe>s le/ he %\ld commit suicide3 8 blood w be on my head if he does4 ,expulsion is no cure ei!r 9 man or boy4 ,x's a frightful confession ( our own weakness4 ,x's our fault t ,m>%all w5t wrong3 ,common ,room ought to h sweet5$ 8 life s t su* malpractices w\ld h be5 impossible to him2 in/ead ( t ! ugl9ess & pett9ess ( ! life he l$ !re1 ! mis]able lack ( real fri5dl9ess all comb9$ to undo him4 ,!re are m5 "h :o c extract sweetness f _! life4 ,:at c\ld be f9] ?an ! devotion ( ,patt]son to ,nor?cote8 ,bo? ^! m5 h be5 on ! /aff = ye>s4 ,nei!r w\ld accept any job1 h[ev] lucrative1 unless he c\ld take ! o!r ) him4 ,!y live 9 ea* o!r's pockets3 !y are z close z man & wife3 _! fri5d%ip is /rong en\gh to survive any mom5t>y diff]5ce ( op9ion4 ,!y discuss _! me?ods ( education1 ! boys !y take1 ! games !y play1 ! books !y read--ev]y?+ toge!r4 ,!y sp5d all _! holidays 9 ea* o!r's company & x is impossible to "k ! "o )\t ! o!r4 ,nei!r ( !m w\ld be capable ( a mean action--!y are a beacon-light to all ! re/ ( u4 ,i wond] if ,i %all /ay on "h int]m9ably fri5dless1 & s\r$ l mo/ ( ! o!rs4 ,x's a rott5 prospect4 ,n[ ( c\rse ! boys keep me fre%1 b z ! ye>s roll on ,i %all become m & m unfitt$ = any o!r pr(ession & get fur!r away by reason ( my age f sympa?iz+ ) ! y\? ( ! "t4 ,yet !re are "s m51 ,hea!r+ton is "o ( !m1 :o keep p]5nially "y3 !y c>ry _! boyi%ness ) !m to ! grave4 ,!y c und]/& y\?'s difficulties z well at sixty-"o z at tw5ty-"o4 ,i wi% ,i knew ! secret ( ?is4 ,at pres5t ,i c play games & take an active "p 9 ,corps "w & s keep 9 t\* ) mo/ ( ! boys ,i want to "k1 b :5 ,i am no long] able to d ^! ?+s ,i %all lose t\* ) a g5]ation t kn[s n ,joseph & become despis$ l old ,soap-,suds1 :o ?irty ye>s ago 0 ! h]o ( ! s*ool ow+ to 8 a?letic pr[ess4 ,i suppose ! secret is t games ought n to c\nt = s mu* z !y d4 ,no boy despises ,hea!r+ton1 yet he c't play ,rugg] any m4 ,privately among !mselves1 ( c\rse1 ! boys rag 8 peculi>ities1 b !y /& 9 fe> ( him & quake inw>dly z !y he> 8 foot/eps com+ d[n ! passage1 & old boys c te/ify h[ deep _! love = him is4 ,i suppose "o ( ! few rew>ds ( ! s*oolma/] is t 8 "n is b&i$ ab\t 9 all ! /range places ( ! e>?4 ,old ,radca/rians meet 9 ! ,himalayas1 on ! high seas1 9 a fev] camp1 on a lonely ran*1 & !y imm$iately beg9 to discuss _! old ma/]s4 ,mo/ly !y speak ( !m ) love if n ) rev]5ce4 ,our little mann]isms & tricks1 :i* we imag9e are kn[n only to ourselves1 lie op5 to !m & ende> u to !m4 ,!y ro> ) laught] ov] our peculi> phraseology1 our me?ods ( puni%m5t1 our impot5t rage ov] little ?+s l *ipp$ desks & false quantities4 ,i %\ld l boys to rememb] me by ! books ,i introduc$ !m to3 ,i l to ?9k ( !m equipp$ ) a ta/e = ! be/ lit]ature1 gloat+ ov] ,conrad or ,doctor ,johnson1 ,*>les ,lamb or ,e4 ,v4 ,lucas1 new ,god or old ,giant1 9 "s =sak5 place :]e ord9>y *eap read+ w\ld n satisfy any ( ! he>ta*e1 or remove any ( ! s5se ( desolation t comes ^u ! m9d at su* times4 ,ea* "t ,i come back to s*ool ,i try a diff]5t me?od ) my ,engli% classes4 ,if only ,i _h m "t ,i really believe ,i c\ld a*ieve some?+4 ,at pres5t all ,i c d is to read a %ort /ory ( ,/ev5son l ,m>kheim or ,?rawn ,janet & !n get ! =m to reproduce ! sub/ance ( x1 or to rewrite x f ! po9t ( view ( "o ( ! o!r *>act]s4 ,i h f\nd ?is me?od pay v well4 ,once jog a boy's imag9ation & he w produce q orig9al & div]t+ matt]4 ,! difficult ?+ is to hit on ! p>ticul> sort ( lit]ature t boys l4 ,only too frequ5tly ,%akespe>e palls2 ,milton1 ,pope & ,wordswor? are q beyond ! av]age boy4 ,on ! o!r h& !y _c h too mu* ( balladry4 ,tam ,lyn1 ,sir ,patrick ,sp5s1 ,sir ,caul9e1 & ! re/ !y love4 ,s ) m$ival leg5ds l ,sir ,gawayne & ! ,gre5 ,knight4 ,mo/ boys aft] a c>eful introduction to ! life ( ! age ( ,que5 ,anne & ! curi\s *>act]s ( ,swift1 ,/eele1 ,addison & ,defoe1 appreciate quickly ! beauties ( ! ,spectator1 & are only too glad z a weekly essay to int]polate a pap] on "s foible rampant 9 t s*ool4 ,boswell1 too1 !y c tackle if only y prep>e !m by giv+ a ,macaulayesque acc\nt ( ,johnson's qua9t tricks & mann]isms4 ,sp5s]1 ,%elley & ,keats ,i f9d are only = ! few4 ,mo/ ( !m love ,byron4 ,t5nyson1 l ,dick5s1 !y h be5 taught to rev]e at home4 ,!y are n v fond ( ei!r4 ,b ,br[n+ & ev5 ,m]$i? quickly become bosom fri5ds ( !irs1 z d ! ,pre-,raphaelites4 ,b by f> ! greate/ boom at pres5t is ! ,masefield cult4 ,i read ,! ,ev]la/+ ,m]cy :5 x came out 9 ! ,engli% ,review to all my sets & !y 7 intoxicat$4 ,hall[s got to he> ( ?is & 0 furi\s ) me = introduc+ s f\l-m\!d & immoral-m9d$ a poet to boys4 ,poor old ,masefield4 ,i don't suppose he reckon$ ) ! ,public ,s*ool attitude :5 he set out on 8 mission ( outspok5ness4 ,9 ord] to keep ! problems ( mod]n life be=e my =m ,i /rew my classroom ) daily & weekly pap]s1 mon?ly & qu>t]ly reviews1 & dem& prcis ( all ! m important articles be=e or aft] debates on all sorts ( mod]n problems4 ,i h />t$ to d m orig9al "w myself4 ,! ,_w ( ,s*ool has accept$ two or ?ree articles on educational re=m :i* ,i submitt$ to !m1 & ,i n[ h ! lu/ ( au?or%ip on me badly4 ,x's a v we>+ disease4 ,i am = ev] plann+ books4 ,i want to write a complete ,engli% c\rse1 elim9at+ all t nons5se ab\t weak & /rong v]bs1 diff]5t uses ( ! g]und & all gramm> gr9d & analysis4 ,:at ,i want is an hi/orical survey ( ! :ole ( ,engli% lit]ature1 lib]ally int]sp]s$ ) examples1 ) a li/ ( ! books !y ought to buy & enjoy read+1 imag9ative que/ions :i* %\ld spur !m on to orig9al composition 9 v]se & prose ) a /imulat+ introduction on :y1 h[1 & :at we %\ld read4 ,i w\ld make su* books z ,arnold ,b5nett's ,lit]>y ,ta/e & ,! ,au?or's ,craft compulsory = e boy 9 e s*ool 9 ! k+dom4 ,i w\ld also make e boy le>n by he>t ^? passages 9 ,sesame & ,lilies :]e ,rusk9 po9ts out ! value ( read+ 9 practical life4 ,b all ?is w\ld n ga9 a boy _m m>ks 9 a mod]n exam9ation1 & we live or die by results 9 exam9ations4 ,engli% pap]s seem to me to be ! wor/ set ( all4 ,:at c x pr(it a man to "k ! context ( obscure passages 9 ,%akespe>e if he has n got ! _s ( ! play 9 him actively %ap+ 8 own life8 ,if a boy does n feel ! ,hamlet or ! ,ri*>d ,,ii )9 him %\t+ = utt]ance :5 he reads a ,%akespe>e play1 he is do+ himself no good at all4 ,! :ole argum5t br+s "o back to beauty & imag9ation4 ,i want to see e boy's /udy cramm$ ) copies ( ! ,_w's ,classics1 ! ,ev]yman & ! ,home ,univ]sity ,libr>y4 ,!re is no excuse = anybody n hav+ read /&>d works at ?is "t ( day4 ,i try to in/il a love ( books into my =ms by tell+ !m ( m5 l ,george ,giss+1 ) :om x became a "q ( breakfa/ or a preci\s volume acquir$ 9 a second-h& %op3 a book mu/ co/ y some?+ be=e y c expect really to value x at its true wor?4 ,z ,rusk9 says1 we despise books simply because !y are accessible4 ,i've always _h ?is book-fev] on me4 ,i rememb] ev5 z a small boy suff]+ unduly f ! pangs ( hung]1 go+ f fruit]] to book-%op & f book-%op to fruit]]1 wond]+ :i* ,i really want$ m1 ! romance or ! p\nd ( *]ries4 ,i "k t ,i always hat$ myself :5 ,i succumb$ to ! latt] temptation1 = ! *]ries 7 soon eat5 b ! delights ( ! book 7 p]5nial4 ,july #d1 #aiaa ,! joys ( ! ,coronation 7 n = u4 ,"s ( ! ,corps w5t d[n to ,london to l9e ! /reets1 b ! re/ ( u w5t into camp & _h a gorge\s "t4 ,we sp5t ! "t ba?+ & wa%+ up1 & celebrat+ ,coronation fe/ivities 9 all ! villages ne> by4 ,we made spee*es & help$ to fe$ myriads ( *ildr53 we l$ processions & drank va/ quantities ( liquid at o!r p's co/4 ,money seem$ to be p\r$ out 9 hon\r ( ,george ,v4 ,all ! same ,i 0 lonely because mo/ ( ! boys ,i require by me to complete my happ9ess 7 9 ,london l9+ ! /reets4 ,h[ev]1 we 7 n p>t$ long & we are n[ j back f ! ,w9dsor ,review4 ,t is ! mo/ impressive c]emony 9 :i* ,i h ev] tak5 "p4 ,all ! ,public ,s*ools & ,univ]sities p>ad$ be=e ! ,k+ 9 ,w9dsor ,great ,p>k4 ,x 0 a swelt]+ hot day & we 7 z tir$ z c\ld be aft] our long j\rney & ! fatigue ( camp1 b no "o fell out or fa9t$ except "s ( ! ,ox=d & ,cambridge cont+5ts4 ,good = ! s*ools6 ,x 0 wond]ful to get d[n s\? aga91 if only = "o day1 to see real trees1 civiliz$ p1 pretty girls1 ! ,?ames1 respectable h\ses built = com=t1 culture & leisure4 ,we sp5t all ! long h\rs 9 ! tra9 9 ru%+ up & d[n ! corridors debagg+ p1 scrumm+ =ty or fifty un=tunates into "o c>riage & !n leap+ on ! top ( !m4 ,no wond] we 7 tir$4 ,h[ any w9d[s rema9$ unbrok5 is a miracle to me4 ,we h _h a good t]m ) reg>d to ! ,corps--ab\t f\r ( ! be/ field-days ,i c rememb]4 ,! be/ 0 9 ,w5sleydale amid pe]less sc5]y3 ab\t t5 big s*ools took "p1 & ,i1 z usual1 0 engag$ 9 sc\t+ mo/ ( ! "t4 ,x is r>e fun /alk+ ! enemy on ^! lonely moors f> f y\r own p4 ,) a little imag9ation y c picture ! reality 444 & 9 any case x's a rott5 game to be captur$ by "s o!r s*ool4 ,i don't "k :y1 b aft] y've left ! s*ool ab\t t5 m9utes y feel z if y'd be5 soldi]+ all y\r life & liv$ only = food & sleep4 ,no meals are m acceptable ?an field-day lun*es1 usually eat5 by ! side ( a du/y road 9 ! full gl>e ( a hot sun1 b x's hung] t makes ! meal1 & m>*+ is ! be/ appetiz] ,i "k3 ! only ?+ ,i object to ab\t ^! %am fights is ! p[w[ aft]w>ds & ! /upidity ( ! umpires4 ,e "o kn[s t umpires c't be ev]y:]e at once & human nature doesn't admit ( "o's giv+ oneself up unless real =ce is us$2 consequ5tly ! mo/ ridicul\s decisions are giv51 = ! conditions h always alt]$ by ! "t any umpire turns up2 ! weak] side :i* has be5 ambu%$ becomes re9=c$ by a body t5 times z big z ! ambu%+ p>ty1 & s turns ! tables1 & ! clev] /rategi/ :o really br\ght (f a good c\p f9ds himself a prison] & h>angu$ by 8 ,o4,c4 ,field-days are v unfair1 b !y are amus+4 ,x's r>e fun *as+ an enemy into a f>m-h\se & =c+ an entrance into e room 9 pursuit ( him3 x's good to see a motor-bicycle belong+ to "s (fic] ly+ by ! roadside & to ride away on x4 ,x's wor? any am\nt ( p[w[ to sit "u a h$ge )9 sight ( a bridge on :i* y h *alk$ ,?is bridge is bl[n up1 & wat* ! enemy debate :e!r or no !y h a "r to advance across x3 x's v l ! real ?+ to be told (f to act z gu]illas & to keep on irritat+ an advanc+ =ce by appe>+ at inconv5i5t times & unexpect$ places1 & hold+ up _! plans & !n try+ to escape & repeat ! exp]im5t f>!r along ! l9e4 ,close ord] drill1 c]emonial & inspection are di/9ctly bor+1 b field-days are r$-lett] days4 ,= twelve h\rs "o gets "r away1 away f "w1 away f ,common ,room1 away f games1 & x does e "o a _w ( good4 ,we lose our petty animosities3 we become m broad-m9d$ & rega9 our ord9>y s5se ( cam>ad]ie3 we s+ ribald songs1 we fill our lungs ) good air1 we discuss philosophy or any mortal ?+ ) our next-door neighb\r on ! m>*1 n c>+ :e!r he li/5s or n2 we sil5tly =m good resolutions ab\t our "w1 we ?9k ^u great days long pa/1 ( fam\s runs ) ! beagles1 *ildhood's days on ! moor1 tramps across c\ntry z und]graduates--all ! be/ ?+s ( life come back to "o on ! m>*4 ,x isn't t we take soldi]+ v s]i\sly3 none ( u does t4 ,i hate %oot+ on ! range2 rifle-fir+ fright5s me2 ,i %\ld be a damn$ fool at pukka fight+1 b ?is make-believe is good sport & ,i suppose x tea*es u some?+4 ,at any rate x's amus+4 ,"o ( ! qua9te/ ?+s ab\t ?is t]m has be5 my fri5d%ip ) ,*i*e/]4 ,he is a new boy 9 my =m :o speaks b seldom1 n because he is n]v\s 7he is "o ( ! mo/ self-assur$ p ,i ev] met7 b because he doesn't want to4 ,he writes already biz>re b q orig9al v]se4 ,he goes 8 own way 9 ev]y?+4 ,he someh[ became attract$ by me1 & n[ we sp5d all our sp>e "t toge!r4 ,x's a que] fri5d%ip4 ,he's a l>gi% boy = fifte51 ) curly light hair & p5etrat+ blue eyes & a delicate p9k & :ite complexion4 ,we lie on a rug toge!r & wat* ,h\se mat*es1 eat+ /rawb]ries & *]ries4 ,he borr[s all my books & reads !m at an a/oni%+ rate4 ,masefield b[l$ him ov] completely4 ,he has writt5 at lea/ f\r poems bas$ on ,! ,ev]la/+ ,m]cy4 ,he is ab\t ! cleane/ *ild ,i h met & yet he employs ! f\le/ metaphors ,i ev] came across4 ,he is an anomaly4 ,he is 9 = a bad "t "h3 p won't und]/& him & e "o w d 8 be/ to ru9 him4 ,he appe>s to be q fond ( me & calls = me daily to g d[n to games ) him4 ,common ,room is sc&aliz$ & ,i h be5 w>n$ by mo/ ( my colleagues t su* ?+s are n done4 ,x is n good = a boy to be tak5 up & made a fav\rite ( by a ma/]4 ,) t s5tim5t ,i entirely agree4 ,i wond] :y e "o "h does x4 ,b ,i'm n mak+ a fav\rite ( him3 he has hon\r$ me ) 8 fri5d%ip4 ,i h no fa/1 firm fri5d2 nei!r has he4 ,he c]ta9ly is n ! type ( boy to trade ^u su* a relation%ip2 9 =m he works l a navvy1 he plays 8 games adequately3 he is q normal except = 8 gift = writ+ ,engli%4 ,surely no "o c blame me = fo/]+ t4 ,at any rate ,i %\ld pref] to leave r ?an break (f our relations1 s p mu/ j talk & ?9k :at !y l4 ,( c\rse ! s*ool doesn't l x4 ,!y hate any boy hav+ mu* to d ) a ma/]1 b ,*i*e/] has a w ( 8 own & ,i r fancy he w take 8 own l9e "r ?r\gh life4 ,n t he is self-ass]tive3 he is quiet & unassum+1 b he always contrives to get 8 own way4 ,luckily = me he is 9 ,wade's h\se1 & de> old ,wade1 :o ought to h be5 a c\ntry squire1 nev] d5ies any "o any?+2 s :5 ! boy goes = leave to come to my rooms he gets x e "t )\t a murmur4 ,! only bl[ ab\t camp ?is ye> is t ,*i*e/] won't be !re4 ,8 p are tak+ him abroad = ! :ole ( ,augu/4 ,i h be5 bo!r$ a good deal lately ab\t a peculi>ly silly habit ( m9e4 ,sometimes1 9 ma!matics especially1 ,i get viol5tly angry at int]vals because ,i realize t my sets are n work+ h>d en\gh4 ,i s r>ely puni% t ( c\rse !re is a temptation = boys to slack 9 pres5t circum/ances3 :5 ,i f9d t !y take advantage ( my ideals to practise ?is trick on me ,i usually give tongue =cibly & drop on !m z heavily z ,i c ) a q colossal puni%m5t4 ,?is ,i take d[n 9 a book &--aft] five m9utes ,i've =gott5 all ab\t x4 ,! boy always looks contrite at ! mom5t1 b ,i realize t he kn[s t he won't h to d ! puni%m5t at all4 ,!re is a silly sy/em "h by :i* "o has to ent] ! names ( all ! boys "o puni%es 9 a book3 ,i simply c't rememb] to d x4 ,x's l look+ at roll li/s4 ,i'm always slack ab\t *eck+ ! reasons t my boys give = _! abs5ce4 ,i always believe :at a boy tells me4 ,h[ c y expect boys to tell ! tru? if y always v]ify _! /atem5ts by outside corroborative evid5ce8 ,x seems to me to be ask+ = tr\ble4 ,!re seems to be ev]la/+ espionage "h4 ,! s*ool s]geant is kn[n to be 9 ! secret s]vice ( ! ,head ,ma/]1 & is popul>ly suppos$ to w&] ab\t ) a pair ( field-glasses sc\r+ ! c\ntryside = miscreants4 ,?is seems a qua9t conception ( education4 ,:]ev] & :5ev] we meet boys we are expect$ to extract in=mation f !m z to _! precise occupation4 ,! only safe place seems to be on ! cricket field1 & ev5 !re y are surr\nd$ by s5iors wait+ to la% y if y drop a cat* or 79 _! op9ion7 field badly4 ,i sp5d mo/ ( my aft]noons1 :5 ,i am n want$ to fill up la/ place 9 a ,common ,room elev51 9 coa*+ ! ,rabbits1 :i* is a league compos$ entirely ( ^? :o are unable to play cricket at all1 ! wor/ two doz5 9 ! s*ool4 ,x is really amus+3 no "o c\ld possibly pret5d to take x s]i\sly4 ,! only "t :5 x p]haps gets monoton\s is :5 "s eld]ly fag appe>s & insi/s on play+1 & ,i f9d him co]c+ all ! o!rs to field = & b[l to him1 :ile he scores ab\t a hundr$ & fifty4 ,t only happ5s :5 !re is no ma/] ab\t4 ,! ,h\se mat*es ?is t]m h be5 fr5zi$ly excit+ & ,*i*e/] & ,i h sp5t mo/ aft]noons wat*+ !m4 ,x is an ,arcadian1 simple life 9 ! summ] t]m4 ,e morn+ at #f4cj ,i pull ,de>d5 out ( b$ & race him d[n to ! sea 9 pyjamas4 ,we h a ha/y ba! & arrive j 9 "t = *apel at #g1 un%av54 ,we !re 7p]nici\s cu/om7 h to take a roll ( our =m4 ,we look d[n *apel to see ! faces ( fri5ds & at "s intimate v]ses 9 ! hymn or psalms we smile z at "s hidd5 secret betwe5 ourselves4 #g4be sees u runn+ to fir/ s*ool4 ,we run ev]y:]e at ,rad*e/]4 ,i hate ^! dre>y lessons be=e breakfa/3 #h o'clock seems an int]m9able di/ance ahead4 ,!re is suppos$ to be cocoa 9 ,common ,room betwe5 #g4bj & #g4be1 b no "o ev] has "t to dr9k x1 unless he c>es to risk be+ late = =m1 :i* is n a vice ma/]s "h are prone to4 ,at #h o'clock on two days ( ! week two ( u h to d5y ourselves breakfa/ until ! :ole s*ool has f9i%$1 = we h to say grace 9 hall1 collect ! names ( all abs5tees1 walk r\nd to see t no "o cuts ! clo? or indulges 9 undue ribaldry1 & !n :5 all is ov] we dismiss !m4 ,only !n 7at #h4cj7 d we get our own breakfa/4 ,by ?is "t all ! be/ ( ! food is gone4 ,fev]%am w probably be help+ himself to 8 f\r? egg & sausage & fif? piece ( toa/1 ! morn+ pap]s w all h be5 seiz$ & we %all be ?or\ghly irritable4 ,"o ( ! ?+s t makes me loa! ! ,common ,room sy/em is ?is h]d+ toge!r = breakfa/1 a meal t ought to be eat5 9 communion ) ! morn+ pap] & no liv+ s\l to int]rupt4 ,f #i to #i4de we puni%1 we practise field+1 we correct "w4 ,f #i4de to #a4ae we ru% f subject to subject1 f class to class1 attempt+ to drive "s rudim5ts ( ma!matics & ,engli% into ! heads ( boys :o don't want to "k any?+4 ,if only !y 7 born poor & knew t !y _h to dep5d on _! wits = _! livelihood1 x w\ld be inf9itely easi] = u4 ,occasionally "o gets an h\r (f 9 ! morn+ 7,i get ?ree 9 ! week7 & ?is is sp5t ei!r 9 writ+ lett]s1 tak+ ! illu/rat$ weeklies f ! ,h\se ,room1 or 9 go+ = a lonely walk or ba!4 ,sometimes ,i lie on ! s&-dunes & eat & read1 or try to write a few words m ( an article4 ,at #a4bj we all assemble 9 hall aga91 ?is "t tak+ our food ) ! boys4 ,i l ?is meal2 ! food is n good b ! conv]sation is4 ,i love all ! clique t sits at my end ( ! table4 ,jimmy ,haye1 :o sits on my "r h&1 is an argum5tative s\l :o frequ5tly sulks & refuses to speak to me :5 he ?9ks t ,i am do+ ! wrong ?+1 su* z go+ ab\t ) ,*i*e/]1 speak+ aga9/ ! classics at a debate1 or advocat+ educational re=m4 ,jimmy is a boy ,i %\ld mu* l to "k intimately1 b he r>ely comes up to my rooms3 he doesn't c>e to mix ) ! riff-raff he f9ds !re4 ,i h occasionally p]suad$ him to come = a walk2 he sp5ds mo/ ( 8 life 9 ragg+ 9 ! h\se & 9 be+ bulli$ by ,naylor1 ! s5ior ma?s4 tutor1 :o is endeav\r+ to raise him to ! /&>d requir$ = ,univ]sity s*ol>%ip4 ,on my left sits ,montague1 ,jimmy's greate/ fri5d4 ,he is easy-go+1 clev]1 v good at games1 q wild & irresponsible 9 ! h\se1 ) a temp] l a fi5d4 ,he has ,spani% blood 9 him & has travell$ all ov] ! _w4 ,he treats me z ,i l to be treat$--z a boon companion3 al?\gh he doesn't take advantage ( my /&+ invitation to use my rooms z an hotel he always comes to me = advice :5 he is implicat$ 9 a r[4 ,he likes to take me = walks on ,sundays & p\r out 8 _m grievances aga9/ life4 ,sometimes nei!r he nor ,haye talk to me at all = a mon?1 !n !y sudd5ly rel5t1 become _! old gay selves aga9 & *att] away1 to my endless enjoym5t4 ,x is at lun*-"t t ,i g5]ally he> ! sc&al ( ! day4 ,9 ! aft]noon imm$iately aft] lun* !re is puni%m5t drill--"s tw5ty to fifty miscreants h to run or m>* r\nd ! squ>e "u direction ( ! drill-s]geant = half an h\r1 :ile o!r p are *ang+1 go+ out to nets or play+ t5nis4 ,we b[l at nets till #c4cj4 ,n _m days pass )\t an accid5t4 ,x's a wond] to me t boys ar5't kill$ at ?is ex]cise3 all ! nets are v close toge!r & h>dly protect$ at all4 ,once ! ,h\se mat*es />t1 ( c\rse1 nets are dropp$ & we simply lie on rugs & applaud or groan accord+ to ! =tunes ( ! game4 ,mo/ ( ! ma/]s sit on an elevat$ m\nd1 ,olympians on _! dung-hill1 ne> :i* sacr$ spot no boy may approa*4 ,at #c4de we get a scrappy tea 9 our own rooms3 ! old wit* ( a b$mak] is suppos$ to put out ! tea-?+s & ! kettle1 & produce ! roll & butt] provid$ by ! s*ool4 ,%e frequ5tly =gets1 j z %e =gets to du/ ! room or wa% up ! dirty ?+s4 ,usually ,i h to write ord]s = *ocolate1 walnut cakes1 & fruit & jams or bananas & cream1 & dispat* fags to ! tuck-%op4 ,!re are nev] less ?an half a doz5 ur*9s clam\r+ = tea3 at #d4ae ! bell r+s = aft]noon s*ool4 ,%all ,i ev] =get 9 ! ye>s to come ?is helli% bell8 ,x r+s n less ?an fifty times a day1 usually = five m9utes at a "t3 no?+ is s calculat$ to get on a new-com]'s n]ves z its incessant toll+1 day & night1 call+ u to "s fre% duty4 ,at #f o'clock ! s*ool goes into hall = tea4 ,if "o is on duty t means m call+ ( rolls & c\nt+ ( abs5tees2 if n we h a bless$ half-h\r 9 :i* to prep>e = ,common ,room d9n] at #f4cj4 ,at #g we hurry (f to take prep4 ,! s5ior m5 get half a cr[n a night = tak+ prep4 9 ,big ,s*ool1 we poor juniors h to hu/le along to sup]vise "o ( ! o!r innum]able preps4 = no rew>d4 ,i hate ?is invigilation4 ,x means t "o tries to correct "w1 b has to int]rupt oneself all ! "t 9 ord] to help boys ov] ridicul\s po9ts ab\t ci/]ns & pipes1 quadratic graphs or a l9e 9 ,hom]4 ,( c\rse "o c refuse all aid3 mo/ m5 d le/ !y %\ld be f\nd ignorant ( "s dep>tm5t ( s*ool /udy4 ,at #h4de we aga9 ru% to *apel & at #i ano!r prep4 />ts1 9 /udies ?is "t1 & juniors />t to turn on ba?s z a sign ( b$4 ,at #aj o'clock "w = ! day is ov] except = ma/]s & ! ,six? ,=m4 ,%\ts & screams come f all ! dormitories1 & tw5ty m9utes lat] we g r\nd to see t e "o is 9 b$4 ,by elev5 mo/ ( ! build+s are 9 d>kness4 ,bridge-p>ties & conv]sations ov] :isky are kept up till twelve or "o1 b x isn't e night t we h "t to indulge 9 ^! practices4 ,su* is our normal day1 b x's ! unusual t f9ds its *ronicl+ mo/ frequ5tly 9 ?is di>y4 ,augu/ #a1 #aiaa ,to-morr[ we g away to ,ald]%ot = ! annual camp2 ano!r s*ool ye> is ov] & ,i n[ h two ye>s to look back ov]4 ,i don't "k t my exp]i5ce has taught me mu* yet1 except a di/ru/ ( ! old m54 ,i /ill love boys z mu* z ev]1 ?\gh n 9 ! mass4 ,i hate !m at s*ool lectures :5 !y c\gh 9 ord] to make a n]v\s lectur] break d[n1 or :5 !y express mock approval by prolong$ ironic laught] & /amp+ ( feet4 ,i hate !m mo/ ( all :5 !y *oose to rag an un=tunate ma/] :o c't keep ord] 9 hall or at roll4 ,i always funk tak+ bo? ^! c]emonies1 ?\gh ,i h nev] _h any tr\ble except 9 my dreams4 ,if ,i did ,i suppose ,i %\ld half-kill ! boy ne>e/ to me & let out ) my fi/s all r\nd4 ,i l boys be/ s+ly 9 my rooms4 ,*i*e/] makes up to me = lack ( wife or si/] or bro!r4 ,i am nev] happy :5 he is out ( my sight4 ,he has %[n up a prodigi\s quantity ( good v]se & "s %ort /ories1 all ( :i* ,i /ore away 9 ! hope t "s day ,i %all h collect$ en\gh to publi%4 ,i've got a new idea 9 ,engli% composition ) ! l[] =ms4 ,i take 9 a copy ( a really good picture & get !m to describe x3 z a model = ?is ,i read ,pat]'s description ( ! ,mona ,lisa ) a copy />+ !m 9 ! face z ,i read4 ,i don't "k :]e ,i got ?is idea f1 b ,i f9d t x br+s out a good deal ( lat5t tal5t f boys :o c nev] express !mselves on pap] 9 normal circum/ances4 ,i wi% x c\ld be possible to h s*ool )\t ! fir/ & la/ days ( t]m3 !y are nev]-end+4 ,at ! beg9n+ "o misses all ! com=ts ( civilization & m\rns ! abs5ce ( all society3 at ! end1 aft] a /r5u\s turmoil ( ?irte5 weeks !re is no?+ :atev] left to d4 ,m>ks are all add$ up1 exam9ation pap]s correct$1 reports writt51 prize %eets made1 clo!s pack$4 ,boys besiege "o's rooms ) reque/s = photographs1 & ) a cat* 9 ! ?roat say good-bye4 ,!y are go+ into ! firm1 go+ up to ! ,univ]sity1 go+ abroad--go+ to ! ends ( ! e>? on _! diff]5t missions1 & ,rad*e/] w "k !m no m4 ,_! (fice ano!r w take & "o gasps at ! h&ful t w be left to c>ry on ! glori\s traditions ( ! ,h\se & s*ool4 ,! la/ day is pitiable4 ,mo/ ma/]s are unfeign$ly glad to get away4 ,i nev] am4 ,i sometimes *afe ab\t ! eigh? or n9? week1 b by ! ?irte5? ,i h become s us$ to ! life t ,i hate ! ?\ght ( any *ange4 ,i h le>nt to d )\t civilization4 ,i j want my boys by my side always3 ,i want to g on tea*+ ,engli%4 ,i don't m9d a holiday f ma!matics4 ,i wi% ,i c\ld f9d ! s\l ( algebra & geometry4 ,x's h>d to make a moral lesson out ( a circle4 ,i am n ,sir ,?omas ,br[ne4 ,i %all miss my daily bick]+s ) ,jimmy ,haye & ,montagu 9 hall4 ,i %all miss ! cricket & ! ba?+2 above all1 ,i %all miss ,*i*e/] & ! rug4 ,luckily he is com+ to camp ?is ye>4 ,camp lets "o d[n g5tly4 ,gradually ! long+ = society /eals ov] "o aga9 & ! /r5u\s t5 days' soldi]+ makes "o p9e = clean %eets & mufti1 ord9>y h\rs & meals at a table1 b :ile x la/s x's j "o great picnic4 ,,viii ,augu/ #aj1 #aiaa ,x's be5 a good camp 9 e way4 ,i 0 battalion sc\t mo/ ( ! "t & _h ! extraord9>y luck to outwit a :ole section ( ,cam]onians 7regul>s7 9 "o field-day :ile ,i 0 inve/igat+ beh9d ! enemy's l9es4 ,:at an ideal c\ntry = fight+ ?is is1 ) all ! p9e-trees & ! long /ret* ( ,laffan's ,pla9 & ,cs>'s ,camp4 ,i wi% t ,rad*e/] c\ld be burnt d[n & rebuilt some:]e on ^! ,surrey hills4 ,e ev5+ ,i us$ to tramp ov] to ! ,ald]%ot ba?s f ,f>nbor\gh1 tir$ z ,i 01 & !n back to jo9 ! riot\s s+-songs4 ,i f9d t "o gets ?r\gh a good deal ( money at ! cante5s4 ,i always want to eat l a pig & dr9k l a fi% at ! f9i% ( ea* day's manuvres4 ,i h nev] be5 s bronz$ z ,i am ?is ye>3 my face is almo/ black ) ! sun & ! du/4 ,we _h "s excell5t fights dur+ ! t5 days1 n always z on ! programme4 ,we _h a fir/-class r[ ) ! ,melton corps4 ,!y swank z if !y own$ ! :ole camp1 s we let all _! t5ts d[n "o night4 ,!re 0 a battle royal & an inquiry ! next day1 :5 ab\t eight ,g5]als all gave tongue & talk$ ab\t ! hon\r ( ! ,army4 ,y c't sudd5ly pret5d t a s*oolboy ceases to be a s*oolboy because y dress him up 9 khaki4 ,he w h 8 rags1 :atev] ,gu>dsm5 say4 ,!re 01 too1 ! usual smok+ r[4 ,z a matt] ( fact1 ! great majority ( fell[s don't smoke 9 camp3 !y c af=d to wait till ! holidays beg94 ,x is an education 9 itself to meet all ! p f ! o!r s*ools1 to see h[ ^? ) ! great names take x = grant$ t !y are cock-(-!-walk & hold up ! cante5s1 :ile memb]s ( less well-kn[n s*ools h to wait4 ,z a matt] ( fact1 ! (fic]s' mess is ! place to le>n ?+s4 ,i d9$ !re "o night z a gue/4 ,i _h no idea t ,ox=d & ,cambridge 71 or c\ld be responsible =1 su* b\nd]s z ,i met on t "o ev5+4 ,good-he>t$ fell[s = ! mo/ "p1 b x 0 ludicr\s to see !m 9 ! same mess ) ^! pukka (fic]s ( ! ,gr5adi]s & ,cold/reams4 ,!y are ke5 on _! job1 too1 b )\t ! gho/ ( an idea h[ to behave1 or h[ to speak ! ,k+'s ,engli%4 ,!y are indescribably funny to wat* z !y sidle up to ! ,colonels & ,g5]als & try to adopt a sort ( ,army attitude to life4 ,!re are heaps ( m5 "h :om ,i us$ to "k at ,ox=d2 mo/ ( !m1 h[ev]1 are 9 ! regul>s & n ,o4,t4,c4 m5 at all4 ,"o ( ! /unts is = ! boys to get ! ,g5]al or "s big nut to g to tea 9 _! t5ts4 ,!y provide a palatial meal & ! wret*$ old man has to gorge himself ne>ly sick 9 ord] to please ^! fifte5-ye>-olds1 :o w\ld be trem5d\sly upset if he didn't eat all t 0 (f]$ to him4 ,b ! man we all /& 9 dread ( is ! ,brigade ,s]geant-,major1 :o has a voice ( ?und]1 & puts ! fe> ( ,god into e "o :o comes ne> him1 (fic] & man alike4 ,he seems to be a walk+ encyclopdia2 !re is no?+ he doesn't "k & he requires absolute p]fection e "t4 ,i mu/ say t5 days ( ?is life make our puny ef=ts at s*ool to be sm>t look pretty *eap4 ,"h we really get ! hang ( ?+s3 at s*ool someh[ we ne>ly always fail4 ,x's p>tly competition & ! ev]-pres5t fact t we h a reputation to keep up4 ,augu/ #ae1 #aiaa ,i h j _h f\r days 9 t[n z an aft]ma?4 ,! comp>ison betwe5 ,london & camp is extraord9>y4 ,i'd no idea my love = ,london 0 s deep-root$4 ,!re hangs ov] ,london an ev]-pres5t air ( success1 ( money-mak+ & money-sp5d+4 ,! %ops tempt y1 ! hotels tempt y1 ! !atres tempt y1 ev]y?+ tempts y4 ,i f$ well & met all sorts ( int]e/+ p1 among !m ,*i*e/]4 ,he lives at ,hampton ,c\rt & ,i _h "o great aft]noon on ! riv] ) 8 si/]s1 himself & 8 "m4 ,!y appe> to be v weal?y & at d9n]1 to :i* ,i /ay$1 !re 0 su* a v>iety ( w9es t ,i got n]v\s z to :i* w9e to put 9 :i* glass4 ,i believe ,i got !m all wrong1 except ! liqueurs1 b ,i don't ?9k !y notic$4 ,h[ ,*i*e/] c be> ! bleak savag]y ( ,rad*e/] aft] ! ri* com=ts ( 8 own home1 ,i c't conceive4 ,"s day ,i am to g back & /ay ) him4 ,he appe>s to sp5d 8 holidays boat+1 motor+1 rid+1 play+ billi>ds1 go+ to !atres1 read+ & writ+4 ,i nev] met p :o put "o s quickly at "o's ease4 ,al?\gh !y are ri* !y don't seem to worry ab\t ,society3 !y d none ( ! "r ?+s1 = :i* ,heav5 be prais$4 ,!y j enjoy life to ! full & take ea* bless+ z x comes4 ,!y h less ( ! snob 9 !m ?an any p ,i h ev] met4 ,!y appe> to be unduly grateful to me = :at ,i h done = ,tony4 ,my hat6 ,! boot's on ! o!r foot3 :at has ,tony n done = me8 ,augu/ #bc1 #aiaa ,aft] a glori\s week ) my uncle 9 ,dawli%1 dur+ :i* "t ,i ba!d & walk$ a good deal1 ,i am back 9 t[n aga94 ,i love ,devon3 ! coa/ sc5]y fills me ) ec/atic delight & ,i ?ank ,god e m9ute t ,i am alive & /rong to enjoy ! good ?+s ( life4 ,i got into conv]sation ) heaps ( /rang]s ( bo? sexes1 & he>d views ( life t ,i am sure nev] ent] ! heads ( my colleagues3 :5 ,i am ask$1 z ,i frequ5tly am1 :at ,i d 9 life1 !y always ?9k ,i am ly+ :5 ,i say ,i am a s*oolma/]1 & laugh good-hum\r$ly z if ,i _h said some?+ supremely funny :5 ,i m5tion t ,ox=d 0 once my ,univ]sity3 app>5tly all "y m5 claim to be college boys3 x's "p ( ! game4 ,_! :ole conv]sation is "o va/ lie4 ,b x does no "o any h>m & gives !m a s5se ( romance3 !y get "r away f ! humdrum exi/5ce ( ! %op-c\nt] & ! (fice1 & = a =tnight imag9e !mselves to be dukes & du*esses4 ,b !y miss half ! joy t ,devon provides by n sc\r+ ! c\ntry4 ,_! programme is to rise late1 dress ) lavi% c>e 9 ! mo/ gl>+ & ta/eless col\rs1 & sl[ly prom5ade up & d[n ! ,front4 ,x is all v pretty & h>mless & w\ld delight ! he>t ( ,o4 ,h5ry4 ,!y miss entirely ! ?\s&s ( joy\s little creeks ) :i* ! coa/ is /udd$3 !y nev] try to discov] ! secret *>m ( ! moor4 ,!y pref] li/5+ to ! comic songs ( ! coons to ! birds on ! hillside1 & ! b& on ! ,prom5ade to ! ru% ( w9d 9 ! e>s z "o /&s on ! cliffs4 ,i wi% ,i c\ld write a novel4 ,b ,i lack e faculty necess>y = x4 ,i c't obs]ve prop]ly3 ,i c't describe ! effect t sc5]y has on me4 ,i am too n]v\s to probe into ! inn] hi/ory ( sad-ey$ wom5 & d\r-fac$ m54 ,t !y h _! passionate loves & hates1 ( c\rse ,i "k1 b ^! e man keeps 9 ! secret places ( ! he>t4 ,y\r ,devonian is n ! sort ( man to we> 8 he>t ^u 8 sleeve = daws to peck at4 ,i came back to ,london two nights ago1 ) my uncle1 & he took me to sev]al plays4 ,:5 ,i am 9 t[n ,i'm nev] satisfi$ unless ,i c put 9 two !atres a day4 ,i am j z excit$ at ! rise ( a curta9 or ! tun+ up ( ! or*e/ra to-day z ,i us$ to be :5 ,i 0 a small kid4 ,to be able to see 9 ! fle% all ^! great actors1 ( :om we only he> dimly 9 our fa/ness ( ,rad*e/]1 is a delight n less ?an1 if v diff]5t f1 ! sight ( ! r$ loam ( ,devon1 or a great /ag break+ f cov] ) ! h\nds close ^u 8 heels4 ,septemb] #bf1 #aiaa ,i sp5t a week ) ! ,*i*e/]s at ,hampton & _h a joyful "t 9 company ) ,tony4 ,aft] leav+ !m ,i w5t home because my "m sudd5ly develop$ rheumatic fev] & 0 s]i\sly ill4 ,i read al\d to h] = ab\t ?ree h\rs e day f ,=d ,madox ,hueff]'s ,ladies ,^: ,bright ,eyes & ,w4 ,l4 ,c\rtney's ,9 ,se>* ( ,eg]ia4 ,i h he>d f ! ,head ,ma/] t ,an/ru!r is to h ,m>%all's h\se4 ,an/ru!r6 ,ye ,gods6 ,he is two t]ms junior to me4 ,i he> t ! ,begum ( ,bhopal wants me to coa* h] son 9 ,con/ant9ople4 ,t w\ld be fun4 ,?9k ( ! exp]i5ce6 ,i want$ to cl9* ) ! (f] at once1 b my "m made me promise n to4 ,heav5 kn[s :at x w\ld h l$ to4 ,i %\ld h se5 ! _w1 met all ! be/ p1 & p]haps f\nd a good job at ! end ( x4 ,,ix ,octob] #ac1 #aiaa ,back aga9 at ,rad*e/]4 ,z usual !re are a few r[s on4 ,two ( ! p>son memb]s ( ! /aff are qu>rell+ because ,tomson 7! ,high ,*ur* "o7 w call ! ,communion ,eu*>i/1 & w talk ab\t ! ,ca?olic in/ead ( ! ,prote/ant ,*ur*4 ,ma!ws on ! o!r h& calls ! alt> ! communion-table4 ,a battle royal is 9 progress4 ,i believe ,tomson w h to g4 ,?is is a v ,l[ ,*ur* s*ool & any "o :o crosses himself or indulges 9 any rituali/ic practices is look$ ^u z incl9$ to papi/ry4 ,x seems a /range ?+ to make su* a fuss ab\t4 ,bo? ,ma!ws & ,tomson are good1 consci5ti\s work]s1 & ! s*ool w be ! poor] if ei!r ( !m leaves4 ,ano!r r[ conc]ns me4 ,x is commonly ?\ght by "s memb]s ( my =m t ,*i*e/] has be5 sneak+ to me ab\t _! me?ods ( "w1 a pretty laughable idea :5 "o ?9ks h[ little ,*i*e/] c>es ab\t any "o 9 ! s*ool1 mu* less 9 8 =m4 ,we nev] talk ab\t s*ool matt]s at all4 ,we talk books & philosophy4 ,anyway1 ,i h lately be5 boycott$ by my =m1 by ,montague & ,haye & mo/ ( ! s*ool4 ,i'm read+ ,/ev5son's & ,m]$i?'s ,lett]s4 ,i've got r a passion = lett]-writ]s4 ,! ,pa/on ,lett]s1 ,doro?y ,osborne's1 ,lady ,m>y ,wortley ,montagu's1 ,horace ,walpole's1 ,gray's1 ,lamb's & ,c[p]'s all gave me la/+ pleasure4 ,"o feels at la/ z if "o really 0 beg9n+ to see ! inn] work+s ( ! m9ds ( great g5iuses :5 y close a volume ( _! intimate correspond5ce--b ,i pref] ,/ev5son's & ,m]$i?'s to all ! o!rs4 ,!y %[ su* wond]ful *e]9ess 9 ! face ( adv]sity1 su* love = _! fri5ds & wives1 su* an int]e/ 9 lit]ature & 9 life4 ,!y are s spl5didly natural & speak f ! he>t4 ,we he> ! v voice ( ! man we h le>nt to love 9 public talk+ intimately 9 8 own home4 ,we h j _h an amaz+ ma/]s' meet+ 9 :i* ! foll[+ motions 7 c>ri$3 7i7 ,ma/]s are =bidd5 to see m ( "o boy ?an ano!r6 7ii7 ,ma/]s are =bidd5 to h any boys 9 _! room except = turn$ "w4 7iii7 ,ma/]s are =bidd5 to he> turn$ "w 9 _! rooms except betwe5 #i & #a4 7iv7 ,l[] ,s*ool boys are n to be all[$ 9 any ,h\se o!r ?an _! own )\t a writt5 leave f _! ,h\se-ma/]s4 7v7 ,boys mu/ nev] be giv5 ! run ( a ma/]'s rooms4 7vi7 ,9 future e "o w /& all ?r\gh ! (f]tory 9 ! ,communion s]vice4 ,!re 7 heaps m1 b ^! 7 ! funnie/4 ,any?+ m priceless ?an ! solemn conclave ( old de>s pass+ ^! resolutions "o by "o1 ) "h & !re an am5dm5t 7always reject$ )\t discussion7 ,i nev] saw4 ,if !y ?9k t all ?is tomfool]y w prev5t me f see+ all ,i want to ( ,tony1 !y are mi/ak54 ,x wasn't altoge!r aim$ at me4 ,app>5tly q a numb] ( ! y\ng] ma/]s make fri5ds ) ! boys4 ,= ! life ( me ,i c't see :y !y %\ldn't4 ,anyway ^! rules ar5't go+ to make any diff]5ce to me4 ,all ?r\gh ?is ridicul\s meet+ ,i f\nd myself repeat+ ,edi? ,si*el's priceless aphorism3 ,!re is no?+ t _c be imag9$ by p ( no imag9ation4 ,x ought to be inscrib$ ov] ! mantelpiece ( e ,common ,room4 ,decemb] #ai1 #aiaa ,we h _h "s good field-days lately1 notably "o :]e ,i 0 9 comm& ( a small =ce1 :i* 0 told (f to h>ass a l>ge advanc+ troop by repeat$ ambu%es4 ,i ne>ly ran my p (f _! feet1 b x 0 r>e fun4 ,we j appe>$ 9 ! mo/ unlikely places1 =c$ ! enemy to wa/e "t by deploy+1 let !m get q close & !n scatt]$ & met aga9 f>!r back along ! l9e & repeat$ ! manuvre4 ,! :ole bus9ess 0 ov]:elm+ly successful = we delay$ _! advance until x ceas$ to be ( any effect4 ,i pref] ?is sort ( tactical s*eme to ! usual "o ( m]ely putt+ out outpo/s or an advanc$ gu>d4 ,! only way to int]e/ boys 9 ! ,corps is to give !m "s "o to fight aga9/ e "t4 ,i f\nd ?is out :5 ,i />t$ ! night sc\ts4 ,i h be5 all[$ tw5ty m9utes nightly 9 :i* to practise my speciali/ sc\ts 9 gett+ us$ to work+ 9 ! d>k4 ,x 0 futile m]ely gett+ !m accu/om$ to us+ _! night eyes2 unless we oppos$ "o ano!r & tri$ to track ea* o!r d[n1 ! :ole bus9ess fail$ ( its object4 ,z soon z we _h sides !y all became t5 times m en?usia/ic3 bo? _! sight & he>+ became m acute3 !re 7 "s titanic /ruggles & mu* good result$ f ^! tactics4 ,x is an e]ie bus9ess1 se>*+ on a pit*-black night in* by in*1 ov] a pl\gh$ field1 = an enemy t y expect to p\nce ^u y f beh9d if he gets ! *ance4 ,( c\rse ,hall[s & ,co4 did _! be/ to prev5t my hav+ ^! boys out1 on ! gr\nd t !y w\ld cat* cold--& !n t !y might get into mis*ief4 ,= once ,i c>ri$ my po9t & _h my own way4 ,i notice t ,i'm leav+ ! s*ool build+s f> less frequ5tly ?an ,i us$ to d :5 ,i fir/ came "h4 ,i h v little temptation to g (f to ,sc>bor\gh = a razzle at ! !atre or ! ,w9t] ,g>d5s4 ,ab\t twice a t]m suffices n[4 ,i don't q "k :y4 ,( c\rse ,i'm read+ mu* m & ,i sit up tak+ notes = books t ,i mean "s day to write4 ,i /ill refuse to play bridge4 ,i g to ! club & s+1 dance1 eat & dr9k on r>e occasions1 b normally ,i don't g out ( my rooms mu* at night4 ,i don't sp5d m "t 9 ,common ,room ?an ,i c help4 ,i j play my games1 "w out my s*emes 9 =m on ! tea*+ ( ,engli% & ma!matics1 write innum]able lett]s & try my h& occasionally on orig9al topics = articles4 ,( late ! ,pione] has tak5 sev]al sport+ sket*es ( m9e1 :i* has put a new he>t 9 me4 ,decemb] #ca1 #aiaa ,la/ t]m end$ v quietly4 ,i saw a great deal ( ,tony 9 spite ( all ! silly new regulations4 ,x 0 gr& to be back 9 ,london aga93 ,i sp5t five days ) ! ,*i*e/]s at ,hampton & we fea/$ "r royally & w5t to two %[s a day4 ,on ,*ri/mas ,eve ,i w5t d[n to see my fa!r & "m1 :o 7 /ay+ 9 ,ba? = ! wat]s4 ,aft] ! riot\s orgies at ! ,*i*e/]s ,i ?\ght ,i %\ld f9d ,ba? bor+4 ,i arriv$ late at night & 0 /ruck by ! lights tw9kl+ f hills on e side4 ,my p _h got digs close "u ! %ad[ ( ! ,abbey4 ,i 0 glad to come to a place :i* _h su* a wond]ful eighte5?-c5tury flav\r1 & expect$ to f9d out _m new tru?s ab\t ,jane ,au/51 ,field+1 ,%]idan1 ,doctor ,johnson1 ,beau ,na% & all ! o!r celebrities1 b no "o 9 ,ba? seem$ to take any notice ( ! pa/4 ,! pres5t 0 gay en\gh = !m4 ,s _m ,army m5 retire to ,ba? ) a prog5y ( daught]s all ( m>riageable age1 b possess$ ( no d[ry1 t !y almo/ wait 9 a queue outside ! /ation to fa/5 on to any /range "y man :o appe>s4 ,x took me "s "t to fa?om ?is4 ,i f\nd e "o exce$+ly k9d & hospitable4 ,i c\ld wi% ,i 7 a bett] danc]4 ,^! ,assembly ,room %[s are glori\s1 b !y make me abom9ably n]v\s4 ,i feel all ! "t gau*e & awkw>d 9 ! pres5ce ( ^! respl5d5t y\ng/]s3 !y c all dance sup]bly1 & 9 ! fir/ place ,i am afraid t ! *eapness ( my clo!s militates aga9/ me1 & !n t no girl c\ld possibly really want to dance ) me :5 %e c\ld secure "o ( ^! subalt]ns or ri* "y squires4 ,all ! same once ,i got into ! sw+ ( ! ?+ x 0 all "r4 ,i always f\nd "s p>tn]s :o fitt$ my /eps exactly3 ,i endur$ agonies ) "s tall & unresponsive creatures1 :o obvi\sly 7 only giv+ me a duty dance1 b ) small girls l ,ru? ,h>d+ ,i got on fam\sly4 ,to enjoy a dance to ! full "o ought to "k "o's p>tn] intimately & dance ) h] = ! entire night4 ,at ! la/ two dances ,i got ,ru? to dance ) me mo/ ( ! ev5+1 :i* app>5tly sc&aliz$ "s ( ! clique :i* ,i am suppos$ to h jo9$4 ,!re c be no place 9 ! ,briti% ,isles :]e tongues wag s unceas+ly z 9 ,ba?4 ,x is l sitt+ ?r\gh a sc5e 9 ,! ,s*ool = ,sc&al to he> ! mod]n ,lady ,sne]well & ,mrs4 ,c&\r *att]+ ab\t fai?less wives4 ,n "o 9 a hundr$ ( _! /ories c\ld possibly be true1 or else we are liv+ 9 a mo/ deprav$ age4 ,x is ! fir/ "t 9 my life t ,i've he>d p op5ly discuss ^! ?+s4 ,i c't say t ,i l x4 ,ru? is a good little s\l4 ,%e kn[s no?+ ab\t eighte5?-c5tury hi/ory b is q ke5 to le>n4 ,we h explor$ ,prior ,p>k & ,ca/le ,combe1 & h se>*$ e /reet 9 ord] to f9d out :]e all ! great] celebrities liv$ 9 ! great days4 ,9 "s ways ! place has n *ang$ at all s9ce ! age ( ,jane ,au/54 ,at "o ( ! ,assembly ,room dances ,i met exact replicas ( ,ca!r9e ,morl&1 ,emma1 & ,mr4 ,coll9s4 ,!y almo/ employ$ ! same phraseology4 ,qua9tly en\gh1 n "o ( !m _h ev] read a ^w ( ,jane ,au/54 ,my fa!r & "m love ! life "h4 ,we take my "m out 9 a ,ba? *air into ! g>d5s & %e gazes at all ! sm>tly dress$ pass]s-by4 ,my fa!r has got to "k all ! local cl]gy3 sometimes he takes duty at "o ( ! *ur*es4 ,we h a great numb] ( call]s & !re is nev] a lack ( any?+ to d4 ,x is a welcome *ange f ! dullness ( our village at home4 ,"o ( ! joys ( life "h = me is beagl+4 ,i g out ?ree times a week ) ! ,wick or ! ,tr[bridge ,beagles4 ,i d\bt :e!r !re are a f9] set ( p liv+ ?an ! av]age beagl]s4 ,!y are usually poor 7!y c't af=d to ride71 !y are passionately addict$ to op5-air life & are h5ce s\nd 9 m9d & limb4 ,al?\gh "o feels at times aft] a heavy run z if "o w\ld drop dead f fatigue be=e "o got home1 yet ! s5se ( exhau/ion is soon ou/$ by a s5se ( wild exhil>ation 9 ! hunt1 ! sc5]y1 ! p y meet1 & ! physical fitness ( y\r body4 ,x is s spl5did j to turn up at "s c\ntry h\se & !re1 among ! %]ry & ! s&wi*es1 get into conv]sation ) "s flapp] or s*oolboy or old colonel1 all ( :om are full ( tales ( pa/ hi/oric runs & anticipations ( ! day's sport4 ,"o day we ran f ,tr[bridge "r on to ,salisbury ,pla91 & lo/ ! h\nds 9 ! d>k by ,ed+ton ,*ur*--& _h to sc\r ! lonely hills = !m until eight o'clock4 ,?is 0 on a night :5 ,i _h promis$ to take ,ru? & two o!r girls to he> ! ,d',oyley ,c>te ,company4 ,i got to ! !atre at a qu>t] to t54 ,janu>y #ai1 #aiab ,i sp5t mo/ ( my days ) ,ru? = ! re/ ( ! holidays1 do+ all ! correct ?+s1 hav+ tea tte--tte at ,=tt's1 go+ to ! !atre on ,friday nights 7! fa%ionable night 9 ,ba?71 walk+ ov] ,lansd[n & d[n ! ,avon valley1 beagl+ toge!r 7t 0 be/ ( all3 %e is a sup]b a?lete7 & danc+ toge!r :5ev] possible4 ,h] p>5ts & m9e h become firm fri5ds & we are z ?ick z ?ieves4 ,i am n 9 love ) h]1 b %e's ab\t ! be/ pal ,i ev] _h1 :i* is say+ a good deal4 ,i he> t ,ba? has be5 wait+ anxi\sly to he> ! ann\ncem5t ( our engagem5t4 ,:at a place6 ,:y on e>? c't a man h a girl fri5d )\t et]nally be+ suspect$ ( m>riage8 ,ru? & ,i h nev] kiss$ or done any?+ except treat ea* o!r z bosom fri5ds1 :i* we c]ta9ly are & probably always %all be4 ,9 spite ( ! insidi\s temptations ( ,ba?1 to crawl r\nd look+ at ! %ops all day1 or to explore ! highways & by-ways ( ,som]set1 ,i h bo? read & writt5 a good deal4 ,?is seems to me ! ,gold5 ,age ( ! novel4 ,!re are ab\t ?irty or =ty p writ+ really great /uff1 full ( a philosophy ( life1 c&id1 human1 extraord9>ily real & int]e/+3 _! books d n sell 9 great numb]s1 b !y occupy a place on "o's book%elf t "o wants to ref] to almo/ daily4 ,all ! o!r ?\s& or s noveli/s don't c\nt at all4 ,i hate ! unreality & false glam\r ( ^! popul> writ]s3 !y are l ! halfp5ny pap]s :i* cat] = a l[ & vici\s1 ignorant ta/e1 only to be comp>$ ) ! %oddi] melodramas t we see on ! c9ema4 ,i (t5 wond] h[ ^! old ladies get on :o cr[d daily into ,smi?'s ,libr>y 9 ,milsom ,/reet & ask ! girl beh9d ! c\nt] = an int]e/+ book4 ,%e mu/ h h] "w cut out to rememb] ! million or s diff]5t connotations t ! ^w int]e/+ be>s to ! circulat+ libr>y subscrib]4 ,i wond] h[ _m ( !m w\ld l to plunge into ! inconsequ5t m$ley :i* con/itutes my di>y4 ,:5 y see "o old lady be>+ (f "u h] arm a copy ( ,! ,revelations ( a ,du*ess1 ,samuel ,butl]'s ,life & ,habit1 ,g]tie de ,s4 ,w5twor?-,james's late/ n>cotic1 & "s ( ,a4 ,c4 ,b5son's ,essays1 x almo/ frights y to ?9k ( ! aggregate effect ( su* a mixture4 ,talk ab\t mix+ dr9ks6 ,! read+ habit seems to be +ra9$ 9 ! ,briti% public1 b ,i _c help wond]+ h[ mu* ( ! be/ /uff is ev] und]/ood by p :o commonly fe$ on g>bage4 ,i %\ld l to publi% a sort ( annual guide to be call$ ,! ,hundr$ ,be/ ,books ( ! ,ye>1 to be divid$ up into sections = ,p>sons1 ,doctors1 ,s*oolma/]s1 ,sociali/s1 ,capitali/s1 ,politicians1 ,flapp]s1 ,nursemaids1 ,factory ,h&s1 ,maid5 ,aunts1 ,subalt]ns1 & ,"y ,matrons4 ,i wond] h[ _m w\ld ov]lap4 ,n _m1 ,i fancy4 ,i don't ?9k criticisms ( books make any appreciable diff]5ce to _! sale4 ,i h se5 heaps ( novels1 damn$ by all ! pap]s1 g into five or six l>ge editions & o!rs t h be5 acclaim$ z %e] g5ius die at bir?4 ,i wond]1 = in/ance1 h[ _m copies ( ,e4 ,c4 ,boo?'s ,cliff ,end 7 sold dur+ ! fir/ ye> aft] its appe>ance1 yet ,i c't rememb] any novel :i* made s deep an impression on me at ! "t4 ,yet on e book/all y see copies ( ,paul ! ,paup]1 :i* e sane man w\ld condemn z simply silly4 ,x has sold ov] #bjj1jjj copies 9 two ye>s4 ,x seems incr$ible3 !re isn't a s+le human "* 9 ! book1 n a s+le natural s5t5ce3 ev]y?+ is untrue to life 9 e respect4 ,! passions are laid on ) a tr[el4 ,!re are ,gr&isonian h]oes & d\ble-dy$ villa9s3 co9cid5ces ( a k9d :i* violate e natural law occur on e o!r page4 ,! only ?+ t ,i c comp>e to ?is amaz+ book is a ,lyceum trag$y & ! wit ( a music-hall com$ian4 ,i wond] if ,engl& w ev] become educat$4 ,f :at ,i h se5 ( girls 9 ,ba? ,i %\ld say t ! sy/em ( education 9 girls' s*ools is no bett] ?an t ( boys3 !y c]ta9ly "k a little m ab\t ,engli% lit]ature1 because _! mi/resses read al\d to !m passages out ( ! novels ( ,*>lotte & ,emily ,bront1 ,jane ,au/51 ,dick5s & ,?ack]ay4 ,!y also devote m "t to poetry ?an we d1 b !y =get x all z soon z !y leave s*ool4 ,!y don't see t ^! books tak5 altoge!r =m a complete introduction to life4 ,! av]age girl ,i h danc$ ) lately seems to h read no?+ at all4 ,h] conv]sation inv>iably runs on ! same l9es4 ,h ,i be5 9 ,london lately8 ,don't ,i j adore ,du ,mauri] & ,m>t9 ,h>vey8 ,d ,i r9k8 ,d ,i hunt8 ,d ,i puni% my boys v sev]ely8 ,am ,i sorry t ,i am n 9 ! ,army8 ,d ,i l danc+8 ,d ,i l girls8 ,am ,i an outrage\s flirt8 ,w\ld ,i l to sit out some:]e m seclud$ ?an ?is r op5 spot8 ,am ,i c]ta9 t ,i _h en\gh supp]8 ,isn't ! way ,jim ,da9ton & ,sophie ,h>r+ton are behav+ p]fectly disgu/+8 ,don't ,i love ,ir5e ,fairhav58 ,isn't ,joyce1 or ,corelli ,w9dyatt1 or ,moritz1 or ,/anislaus ,wrm1 or :oev] is play+ on ?is p>ticul> ev5+1 div9e1 topp+1 ducky1 d9ky1 p]fectly sweet1 ripp+--or :atev] ! ^w ( ! mom5t is8 ,%all ,i be at ! ,morrisons' on ,tuesday or ! ,doh]tys' on ,?ursday8 ,i get mo/ inf]nally tir$ ( all ?is claptrap4 ,no "o ev] says any?+ t he or %e means3 x is all sup]ficial4 ,! girls ?9k ( no?+ b _! frocks & ! effect !y are mak+ on _! p>tn]s4 ,i want to talk s5se & in/ead h to rattle on ) %e] nons5se4 ,i suppose ,i am gett+ prosy & s$ate1 b ,i d j love talk+ ab\t books & diff]5t views on life4 ,i seem to h no ready *ange ( small-talk4 ,( c\rse "o _c expect to get to "k all ! p ) :om "o dances1 b ?is con/ant *opp+ & *ang+ is rott54 ,i want to keep to "o girl1 ,ru? = pref]5ce1 all ?r\gh ! night4 ,!n "o doesn't h to ?9k ( some?+ polite to say3 if we feel l sil5ce we j keep sil5t1 if we want to talk we talk1 ab\t any?+ t comes into our heads1 s]i\s or gay4 ,we und]/& ea* o!r's moods )\t hav+ to g ?r\gh a long rigm>ole ( introductory icebreak+4 ,"o great advantage ( ,ba? is ! numb] ( clubs & places :]e "o c br[se among ! reviews & p]iodicals ( all sorts4 ,h[ ,i manage to keep abrea/ ( any mod]n "w 9 a hole l ,rad*e/]1 ,i c't ?9k4 ,)\t ! ,times ,lit]>y ,supplem5t & ! book reviews 9 ! ,telegraph & ,morn+ ,po/ ,i %\ld be entirely at sea4 ,& yet ) all ^! inc5tives to read1 ! ignorance ( ^! t[nspeople is extraord9>y4 ,!y ne>ly all rely on _! booksell] = ev]y?+ !y read4 ,!y leave ! *oice always to him4 ,x ,febru>y #bc1 #aiab ,x 0 appall+ to h to leave ! com=ts ( ,ba? = ! wilds ( ,rad*e/]4 ,x has be5 ! wor/ ,ea/] t]m s f> )9 ! remembrance ( man4 ,we 7 sn[$ "r up f ! beg9n+ & ,h\se-fights ( sn[ball+ soon ceas$ to amuse4 ,we are simply %iv]+ 9 our rooms4 ,! :ole place is "o m$ley ( g]ms4 ,e conceivable sort ( contagi\s disease is rag+4 ,x is useless try+ to tea* anybody any?+ except individually1 = !re is no cont9uity1 "o boy drops "o day1 ano!r ! next1 six m ! day aft]4 ,i h ?ree 9 "o ( my sets :]e ,i'm suppos$ to h tw5ty-six4 ,i've sp5t e sp>e mom5t 9 my rooms writ+ to ,ru?1 read+ & try+ my h& at poetry4 ,?ank ,heav51 ,tony is /ill immune4 ,he waits = me e night aft] *apel & we /agg] across ! sn[-b\nd squ>e ) ! w9d bl[+ ! fil?y /uff into our eyes & d[n our necks & almo/ into our sk9s4 ,"o misses games 9 a place l ?is4 ,i hate lett+ a day g by )\t tak+ viol5t ex]cise4 ,i suppose if ,i 7 9 ! ,city ,i %\ld be cont5t ) ,saturday aft]noons1 b z a s*oolma/] ,i feel t ,i c't tea* & keep heal?y unless ,i ne$ a hot ba? 9 ! aft]noon4 ,! cold ba? 9 ! morn+ makes me yell ) agony ^! days1 b ,i always keep x up4 ,i suppose x is good = me4 ,at any rate x is refre%+4 ,masefield _h a new poem 9 ! ,febru>y numb] ( ! ,engli% ,review call$ ,! ,wid[ 9 ! ,bye-,/reet4 ,all my boys imm$iately proce$$ to copy x4 ,he is c]ta9ly virile & unlike anybody else4 ,he makes an irresi/ible appeal to y\?4 ,( c\rse ! outspok5ness ( 8 diction acc\nts = ?is1 at lea/ p>tially4 ,( late ,i h be5 sleep+ rott5ly4 ,i always l to keep my bl9d up1 s t ,i c he> ! waves m cle>ly & see ! sea f my b$4 ,i notice t :5 ! moon is up ,i get appall+ nightm>es & wake to f9d x full on my face4 ,i wond] if ,i am liable to moon/roke6 ,we h cle>$ ! sn[ (f "s ( ! ponds & _h "s really good skat+4 ,! mo/ ridicul\s rules h be5 made ab\t x1 because two boys 7 once dr[n$1 a hundr$ or s ye>s ago4 ,ea* ,h\se has to take a ladd] & a rope ) x1 & n m ?an tw5ty boys are all[$ on ! same pond at ! same "t4 ,consid]+ t none ( ! ponds is m ?an two feet deep or t5 y>ds across1 su* precautions seem r unnecess>y1 b no?+ c be done at ,rad*e/] )\t rules be+ fram$ by ! doz5 to meet all cont+5cies4 ,curi\sly en\gh1 a trag$y has occurr$4 ,! head wait] 9 ,common ,room has dr[n$ himself4 ,we sp5t half ( "o bitt] moonless night se>*+ = 8 body4 ,he leaves a wid[ & six *ildr54 ,i wond] :y he did x4 ,0 ! conv]sation ( ! ma/]s altoge!r too deadly = him8 ,0 he und]paid8 or 0 x j ! depress+ conditions8 ,i nev] saw a place :i* s invit$ suicidal ?\ghts4 ,! gloom ( ?is coa/ at ?is "t ( ! ye> is indescribable4 ,all ! bungal[s d[n ! bea* are des]t$ & s are ! little tea-h\ses :i* look s jolly 9 ! summ]-"t4 ,! ,head ,ma/] has play$ a l[-d[n1 dirty trick on a man call$ ,turn]1 :o only jo9$ u la/ t]m4 ,he 0 q "y1 brilliantly clev]1 popul> & successful ) ! boys3 he _h to r5t a cottage ab\t a qu>t] ( a mile away because he 0 m>ri$ & _h "o baby4 ,8 wife 0 pretty & did a good deal to make ! place habitable4 ,"o rememb]$ sometimes ev5 ! way to take "o's hat (f4 ,well1 he has _h to g4 ,8 s9 0--be+ m>ri$4 ,! ,head ,ma/] told him t he _h come "u false pret5ces1 t ! s*ool c\ld n af=d to keep m5 :o did n live 91 & t a wife caus$ a man to neglect 8 "w4 ,m>* #bc1 #aiab ,dur+ ! la/ mon? or s ,i h be5 seiz$ ) a panic le/ ,i %\ld die ( app5dicitis or "s su* quick & hidd5 compla9t4 ,i c't sleep at all & ,i lie awake ) a curi\s numb sort ( pa9 & ?9k ( dea?4 ,i am all "r 9 ! daytime = ! mo/ "p4 ,at any rate ,i am play+ hockey & foot] ) all my old vig\r & ,i nev] feel bad 9 =m4 ,x's j at night2 un=tunately x's e night t ,i get seiz$ ) a real horror le/ ,i %\ld die unc>$ =1 unhon\r$ & unwept4 ,i %\ld h lik$ a little ta/e ( love & laught]1 ( civiliz$ com=t--,i %\ld h lik$ to h writt5 "s sort ( book :i* w\ld h help$ mank9d along ! r\gh road ( life4 ,i %\ld l to h _h a wife1 an heir 444 b z x is ,tony mu/ be my heir4 ,i h transmitt$ to him my passionate love ( lit]ature1 my ke5ness = beauty1 my long+ = a revolution 9 educational practice & !ory4 ,i h work$ (f my sple5 on a long c5t5>y pap] on ,dick5s = ! ,radca/rian1 :i* w excite & annoy ! lov]s ( t noveli/ a good deal4 ,i made all ! boys 9 my =m write c5t5>y appreciations ( ,dick5s1 too4 ,i got "s que] /uff4 ,he is n half z well kn[n z he ought to be 9 spite ( 8 great "n4 ,b ,i d wi% he _h resi/$ 8 t5d5cy to c>icature4 ,!re h be5 ! usual r[s4 ,by f> ! mo/ disconc]t+ 0 ! expulsion ( ,ma!r1 :o 0 a s*ool prefect & a s*ol> ( ,magdal51 = /eal+4 ,x seems impossible to believe4 ,x appe>s t he 0 9 a ,h\se :]e mo/ ( ! boys h f> too mu* pocket-money3 ! v fags own to hav+ fiv]s4 ,poor old ,ma!r 0 "o ( eight sons ( a p5niless c\ntry p>son3 he nev] _h a s\ & consequ5tly />v$ :5 all ! re/ ( ! ,h\se 7 revell+ 9 delicacies4 ,m ma/]s h be5 poison+ ! boys' m9ds aga9/ me4 ,tony's ,h\se-ma/] has be5 lectur+ him ab\t my p]nici\s influ5ce4 ,i wi% ,i knew :at 0 beh9d ?is d>k conspiracy4 ,i wi% !y w\ld give me "s facts to g on1 & say t j "h or j !re ,i 0 do+ h>m1 b all _! accusations are nebul\s4 ,:5ev] ,i g up to a man's rooms & be>d him 9 8 d51 he ne>ly always d5ies t he ev] said any ( ! ?+s :i* 7 report$ ( him4 ,x's v difficult to "k :at to d4 ,i've discov]$ ano!r :eeze :i* ,i use to get orig9al "w out ( my =m4 ,i give out a li/ ( =ty or fifty words1 o/5sibly = spell+1 & by ! side ( ^! !y write a li/ ( synonyms1 & !n dur+ _! next prep4 !y weave a /ory r\nd ! words ,i h giv5 !m4 ,i h _h wond]ful results f ?is simple device4 ,incid5tally ! boys love do+ x4 ,x /imulates !m1 especially :5 !y h to read _! own ef=ts al\d4 ,n[ t ! sports are loom+ ahead1 ,i get up 9 ! v e>ly morn+s & take p = tra9+ walks4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i run ) !m across c\ntry or r\nd ! track4 ,be=e ,i came no "o worri$ mu* ab\t ! sports4 ,i h really got !m ke5 ?is ye>1 mu* to ,hall[s' indignation1 because z games ma/] he is responsible = ! sports1 & he ?9ks ,i'm tak+ too mu* ^u myself 9 tra9+ !m daily = weeks be=e ! ev5ts4 ,ab\t a doz5 ( u1 ,tony & o!r boys 9 ?is ,h\se1 g (f e ,sunday to a nook we've f\nd by an inl& /ream4 ,we call x a tra9+ walk3 x pans out at twelve miles4 ,by s do+ we get "r outside ! c\ntry we "k & really beg9 to get a glimm]+ ( beauty on ^! glori\s w>m spr+ days4 ,x's impossible to imag9e n[ t we 7 ev] sn[-b\nd4 ,x is w>m & sunny e day2 s mu* s t ,rugg]1 & hockey seem indescribably silly games = ?is "t ( ye>4 ,x feels crickety wea!r4 ,i've be5 writ+ articles on ,hymns & ,cross-,c\ntry ,runn+ = ! ,london ,press & _h bo? accept$1 :i* is a bit ( luck4 ,?+s are look+ up4 ,all ! same x's a n]ve-rack+ process1 wait+ to he> "o's fate by e po/4 ,editors are z /ubborn z mules & )\t any s5se ( humanity4 ,we h _h "o great excitem5t lately4 ,a s*oon] ran a%ore j close to my b$room w9d[ & we _h to ru% out 9 ! middle ( ! night & rescue p4 ,poor devils1 !y 7 awfully cold & mis]able by ! "t we got !m to b$ 9 ! sanatorium1 b luckily !re 7 no lives lo/1 & mo/ ( ! c>go has be5 salvag$4 ,life at ! end ( ! ,ea/] t]m is fairly brisk4 ,x's impossible to get hold ( boys to d any?+ 9 ! way ( extra "w ow+ to ! innum]able ,h\se competitions4 ,!re is ! ,junior & ,s5ior ,hockey1 ! ,s++ ,competition1 ! ,box+1 ! ,gym41 ! ,corps & ,c]tificate ,a1 ! ,sports1 & ,heav5 kn[s :at besides--& e man on ! /aff ?9ks t 8 pet job is ! only "o t matt]s4 ,! only ?+ ab\t :i* we are all agre$ is t s*ool "w does n matt]4 ,no "o ?9ks ( t4 ,all ! same ,i ?9k ^! conte/s are good ?+s1 p>ticul>ly 9 ! ,corps1 ?\gh ,i object to ! extraord9>y numb] ( prizes & pots t are lavi%$ ^u individual w9n]s4 ,!re's a huge elem5t ( selfi%ness inspir$ by ! v ?+s :i* we hold to eradicate x4 ,i took two days (f by go+ d[n to ,que5's ,club to see ! ,ox=d & ,cambridge ,sports4 ,x 0 a r>e treat to meet all "o's be/ fri5ds ( ! ,ox=d days & wat* o!r p 9 ! la/ /ages ( n]v\s funk z we 7 s few ye>s ago4 ,i w5t to ! d9n] aft]w>ds3 ,i wond] :e!r "o w ev] gr[ out ( ^! orgies4 ,!y are v life & blood to me n[ at any rate4 ,i expect our old] gue/s get a trifle tir$ ) ! exub]ance ( our spirits be=e ! end4 ,x 0 v tame to h to come back to ,rad*e/] & ! s*ool sports aft] t gr& /ruggle at ,que5's ,club4 ,april #ac1 #aiab ,"h ,i am back aga9 9 my belov$ ,ba?4 ,! t]m end$ well4 ,hea!r+ton's won ! sports & ,i 0 ! recipi5t ( a trem5d\s ovation at ! ,h\se ,supp]4 ,i don't ?9k ,i ev] felt s pr\d be=e4 ,at ! end ( t]m ,i w5t d[n to ,hampton ,c\rt ) ,tony until ,good ,friday1 :5 ,i w5t on to see ,ru?3 we h sp5t all ! re/ ( ! "t toge!r4 ,x 0 at ! ,ea/] ,ball t ,i saw a face :i* ,i %all nev] =get4 ,i 0 ragg+ ab\t ) ,ru? 9 ! ve/ibule :5 ,i saw a girl at ! f> end ( ! room talk+ to "y ,conyngham1 "o ( ! nuts ( ,ba?1 :om ,i cordially dislike4 ,!y seem$ v pleas$ ) "o ano!r4 ,i don't "k :at came ov] me b ,walt] ,savage ,l&or's phrase came into my m9d1 ,by ,jove1 ,i'm go+ to m>ry t girl1 & be=e ,i knew :at ,i 0 do+ ,i _h left ,ru? & rac$ across to ,conyngham & ask$ him to introduce me to 8 p>tn]4 ,he 0 really bor$4 ,%e 0 n pleas$4 ,app>5tly he realiz$ t ,i meant to /ay !re till he did introduce me & s he gruffly mumbl$1 ,oh6 ,?is is ,mr4 ,trah]ne--,miss ,tetley1 & walk$ away ab\t two y>ds4 ,don't g away1 ,philip1 %e said1 9 a voice t ?rill$ me to he>4 ,may ,i----8 ,i began4 ,i'm afraid ,i've only got numb] #ag left4 ,may ,i h t--& any extras8 ,if y l--,i'm afraid ,i didn't he> y\r "n4 ,trah]ne4 ,patrick ,trah]ne--let me write x = y4 ,i did & receiv$ in/ant dismissal4 ,n a promis+ />t1 b ,i 0 pleas$ j to get s mu* out ( h]4 ,all ! ev5+1 z ,i 0 gallivant+ r\nd ) ,ru?1 ,i kept on look+ at h]1 b %e _h no eyes = me4 ,i ask$ ,ru? ab\t h]1 b %e 0 n int]e/$4 ,:i* girl8 ,oh1 t "o4 ,i don't "k h] except by sight4 ,h] "n's ,elspe? ,tetley4 ,r ugly1 don't y ?9k8 ,h] "n ,i mean4 ,no3 %e's a pretty en\gh little ?+ 9 h]self4 ,%e seems v fond ( ,mr4 ,conyngham4 ,yes1 %e did--conf\nd h]4 ,incid5tally1 %e cut my dance & !re 7 no extras1 s ,i did n see h] aga9 t night4 ,i wasn't go+ to be defeat$ s easily1 s ,i b[$ to h] :5 ,i pass$ h] 9 ! /reets1 b %e nev] ev5 saw me4 ,i don't q "k :at x is ab\t h] t s attracts me2 %e looks v quiet1 %e is amaz+ly sure ( h]self1 extraord9>ily pretty1 ) any am\nt ( hum\r & en]gy ,i %\ld ?9k4 ,i am /ill speak+ )\t ! book1 = ,i "k no?+ ab\t h]1 :atev]1 except t ,i love ! look ( h]4 ,ru? & ,i h sp5t all ! holidays s f> wat*+ ,rugg] mat*es & picnick+ & motor+ & danc+4 ,i h _h ,petre ,mais d[n to /ay ) me4 ,by a /range *ance he kn[s ! ,tetleys3 he ?9ks ,elspe?1 z he calls h] 7he has kn[n h] f *ildhood71 ! mo/ adorable girl he has ev] met4 ,i h tri$ to get him to br+ h] along to see me1 b some?+ has always cropp$ up at ! la/ mom5t to prev5t our meet+4 ,may #c1 #aiab ,i sp5t ! :ole ( ! ,ea/] holidays 9 ,ba?1 ma9ly 9 ! company ( ,ru?4 ,x 0 good to h ,mais ) me3 we us$ to sit up to all h\rs argu+ ab\t education3 we appe> to be bo? ( u bitt5 ) ! craze ( re=m1 ?\gh we don't agree on po9ts ( detail4 ,he is a curi\s mixture ( ! v grave & s$ate & ! irresponsibly gay4 ,he gets on extraord9>ily well ) my fa!r4 ,:ile ,i am disport+ myself 9 company ) ,ru?1 he takes ! ,gov'nor = long walks & argues ab\t ,*ri/ian dogma & e?ics4 ,i am afraid t ,ru? int]f]es ) my read+ & writ+4 ,mais seems to get ?r\gh a great deal & always twits me ) be+ a lady-kill]3 he nev] seems to want ! companion%ip ( ! o!r sex4 ,!re is ,elspe? ,tetley1 ) :om he might sp5d days--%e is obvi\sly v fond ( him--& in/ead ( go+ ab\t ) h] he gives h] up to ,conyngham & buries himself 9 ! ,*ur* ,in/itute or ! ,ba? & ,c\nty ,club1 gett+ up notes = "s article or book t he is at "w ^u4 ,he is nev] happy unless he is work+4 ,z he v truly says1 8 "w is 8 mi/ress & he nev] wants a bett]4 ,all ! same a man ne$s "s relaxation4 ,i f9d m9e 9 ! company ( ,ru?1 :o gr[s m allur+ ) e pass+ day4 ,%e has tak5 me to ,brad=d-on-,avon1 to ,engli%combe1 by motor to ,badm9ton & ov] ,salisbury ,pla94 ,i h be5 to ?ree po9t-to-po9t meet+s & at ea* ( !m caught a fleet+ glance ( ,elspe? ,tetley4 ,%e 0 always surr\nd$ by "y m51 s ,i c\ldn't speak to h]4 ,i love ^! c\ntry meet+s m almo/ ?an any o!r =m ( sport4 ,! haz>d\s /eeple*ases fill "o ) excitem5t3 _m m5 7 rid+ :om ,i knew at ,ox=d1 b !y all appe>$ to belong to sets ( ! mo/ exclusive k9d4 ,!re is always a pl5tiful spr9kl+ ( dukes & du*esses at ^! %[s1 z well z all ! f>m]s 9 ! c\ntry & ! riff-raff ( ! t[n4 ,! procession ( bicycles & gov]ness-c>s & dog-c>ts & motors & p$e/rians miles out 9 ! c\ntry is a f9e sight4 ,i %\ld l to h en\gh money to be able to g 9 = /eeple*as+3 x mu/ be "o ( ! f9e/ s5sations 9 ! _w to feel y\rself ru%+ ?r\gh ! air1 jump+ ^! brooks & ?ickset h$ges1 always risk+ y\r neck1 :ile all ! y\? & beauty ( ! c\ntry wat* y1 he>t 9 m\? le/ y %\ld take a toss1 transport$ beyond belief :5 y ride pa/ ! po/ a w9n]4 ,elspe? ,tetley someh[ fits a po9t-to-po9t meet+ exactly4 ,"s girls look ! mo/ prepo/]\s idiots all togg$ up 9 ! s]viceable twe$s & brogues t girls we> = ^! %[s1 b %e looks j z div9e at a race meet+ z %e does 9 a ballroom4 ,i hope to ,heav5 ,i get ! *ance ( meet+ h] aga9 "s day4 ,june #aj1 #aiab ,i hat$ leav+ ,ba? m ?an ev] ?is "t1 p>tly because x meant leav+ ,elspe? 9 ! clut*es ( "y ,conyngham1 p>tly because ( ! summ] wea!r & ! fl[]s & ! com=t ( ! s\?1 p>tly because ( p>t+ ) ,ru?1 b ma9ly because ( ! horrid contra/4 ,:o1 = in/ance1 9 ,common ,room ev] rides to h\nds1 or c>es ab\t po9t-to-po9t meet+s8 ,n "o ( my colleagues ev] goes ne> a dance if he c get out ( x4 ,i wond] h[ !y all sp5d _! holidays4 ,z a consequ5ce ( my depression x took me long] ?an usual to settle d[n ?is t]m4 ,i _h a bad fit ( re/lessness1 a feel+ t ,i ought to be out 9 ! _w1 risk+ some?+1 try+ to make money out ( rubb] 9 ! ,malay1 or jute 9 ,india1 exp]i5c+ ! ups & d[ns ( life 9 ,am]ica1 ,spa91 ,*9a1 ,russia1 any:]e :]e m5 really liv$4 ,!re is no d5y+ t we d t5d to /agnate "h4 ,?is incessant r\nd ( cricket1 ba?+1 ma?s41 ,engli%1 prep41 *apel1 & roll isn't fit "w = an able-bodi$ man ( active bra9 & ambition4 ,! ideal s*oolma/] has to put away ambition f ! />t4 ,he c nev] set ! ,?ames on fire or cause 8 "n to r+ out ?r\gh ! ages3 x is en\gh = him if a score ( m5 g ?r\gh life bless+ him = :at he taught !m1 b a boy's memory is v %ort3 he soon =gets 8 ma/]s :5 he gets out into ! real _w & little wond]4 ,i've be5 go+ into ,sc>bor\gh lately & try+ to f9d an int]e/ 9 wat*+ ! tripp]s1 b ,i hate ! nor?-c\ntry p n[4 ,ba? has spoilt my ta/e = !m = ev]4 ,i hate _! rauc\s laught]1 _! dirty tee?1 _! l\d +urgitations ov] _! food1 _! l\d] clo!s & gha/ly s5se ( indep5d5ce1 ?\gh z a ,sociali/ ,i ought1 ,i suppose1 to be ?ankful = ! la/4 ,i h _h an (f] to sub-edit a r pleasant mon?ly call$ ! ,scrut9ator4 ,i ne>ly accept$ x4 ,i don't "k :at held me back unless x 0 ,tony4 ,i hate ! ?\ght ( life )\t him1 ?\gh ( c\rse he w leave j z o!r good fell[s h left & ,i %all h to f9d "s new fri5d & confidant4 ,we h _h a w$d+ "h1 an unhe>d-( ?+ at ,rad*e/]4 ,! ,burs> is leav+1 & s has decid$ to d :at he w\ldn't be all[$ to d if he rema9$ & t is to take a wife4 ,we _h a really gay "t = two days4 ,! bridesmaids _h ! "t ( _! lives4 ,i wond] t ! ,head didn't put up a li/ ( rules ab\t !m b x 0 all ov] be=e he really discov]$ any?+ ab\t x4 ,x 0 a sight = ! gods to see memb]s ( ,common ,room rak+ up old frock-coats & top hats & :ite wai/coats = ! occasion4 ,! c]emony made me v jeal\s & ,i w5t back to my rooms feel+ t]ribly lonely4 ,sometimes x seems to me t a man is only half a man until he m>ries4 ,x w\ld be spl5did to h "s "o to turn to 9 e mood1 "s "o :o w\ld sympa?ize & always be !re ready to console1 com=t1 & %>e y\r joys & griefs4 ,ah6 ,b :o is t "s "o to be1 t p]haps n impossible ,%e8 ,july #bi1 #aiab ,?is has be5 a wond]ful summ] t]m f ! po9t ( view ( wea!r4 ,all our s*ool mat*es came (f1 all our field-days pass$ )\t a hit*4 ,! summ] t]m makes an enorm\s diff]5ce to life "h4 ,!n ! sea at la/ seems to take on "s sort ( col\r1 ! c\ntry seems less drab1 p are m *e]ful & human3 ! long ev5+s on ! %ore are a pure joy--& !n ( c\rse !re are ! e>ly morn+ ba!s1 ! lazy aft]noons wat*+ ! cricket1 or read+ or try+ to concoct an article4 ,e "o seems to be 9 ! be/ ( heal?1 !re are few] r[s1 & we are less antagoni/ic 9 ,common ,room4 ,we h />t$ an illegitimate rag call$ ! ,rad*e/] ,ram1 :i* gives me unalloy$ pleasure4 ,we got tir$ ( ! ev]la/+ succession ( acc\nts ( mat*es 9 ! ,radca/rian1 & s we h collect$ all ! really orig9al lit]>y /uff we c\ld get & n[ we br+ ?is new p]iodical out once a mon?4 ,!re is no?+ (f5sive 9 x1 z !re s (t5 is 9 magaz9es ( ?is sort4 ,x is simply a m$ley ( v]se & sket*es1 %ort /ories & articles ( g5]al int]e/4 ,on our fir/ numb] we made ab\t a sov]eign pr(it4 ,x gives _m ( u some?+ to ?9k ab\t & enc\rages boys to write4 ,we pay = all ! contributions we use4 ,we h _h two wond]ful addresses giv5 u "h1 "o on ,spee* ,day by ,"l ,dunni?orne1 9 :i* he implor$ ! boys to keep up _! ard\r & en]gy n only 9 games1 b 9 e side ( life1 9 keep+ an eye :ile /ill at s*ool on public affairs1 & develop+ a s5se ( proportion z to ! relative values ( ! spiritual & ! mat]ial1 ! o!r by a ,fell[ ( ,all ,s\ls f ! pulpit on ! hypocrisy t is s rampant 9 ,public ,s*ools4 ,he ask$ u to ?9k = ourselves1 to set ourselves aga9/ any tradition1 h[ev] /rong1 :5 & if we felt cle> t x 0 aga9/ ! pr9ciples ( ,*ri/ & ,lib]ty4 ,he dwelt n on ! greatness ( ! ,public ,s*ools1 b _! failure to produce ! big m5 ( ! day4 ,he br\ght out "n aft] "n ( m5 :o are n[ lead+ ! _w 9 politics1 9 sci5ce1 9 religion1 9 e dep>tm5t ( life :o ow$ no?+ to ! ,public ,s*ools4 ,he acc\nt$ = ?is by tell+ u t we always tri$ to level up ! _m & s levell$ d[n ! few :o really matt]$1 t our g5]al level 0 f> too l[ & meant a cru%+ ( t ,div9e sp>k :i* alone c\ld help u to d our duty4 ,x 0 l a brea? ( inspiration f ano!r _w to he> ?is f9e expon5t ( ! be/ ,ox=d _s try+ to r\se u to a s5se ( our %ortcom+s4 ,! ,head 0 furi\s ab\t ! s]mon1 z 7 q half ! memb]s ( ,common ,room4 ,i made x ! text ( pretty well all my disc\rses = ! re/ ( t]m4 ,mo/ ( ! boys ( c\rse didn't "k :at he 0 driv+ at2 ^? :o did 7 divid$ into two great camps3 ! uphold]s ( tradition & ^? :o agre$ ) him4 ,i am afraid we :o agre$ ) him 7 9 a m9ority4 ,montague & ,jimmy ,haye refus$ to speak to me = weeks4 ,poor devils4 ,probably be=e v long !y w come to und]/& :at ! prea*] meant & metaphorically sit 9 sackclo? & a%es because !y he$$ n 8 w>n+4 ,h[ ! old m5 hate individuality3 !y fe> x z ,%akespe>e fe>$ & hat$ ! mob4 ,individuality1 l orig9ality1 is dang]\s to cu/om3 :5 p beg9 to ?9k = !mselves !re is usually tr\ble some:]e1 b unless p le>n to ?9k = !mselves !y w surr\nd !mselves ) unimag9able horrors4 ,h[ (t5 9 ! tra9 does "o come across half-educat$ l\ts ge/iculat+ & lay+ d[n ! law on e conceivable po9t1 _! argum5ts1 !ories & pr9ciples all emanat+ f ! halfp5ny press4 ,m h>m has be5 done to ! cause ( progress & good s5se 9 ?is c\ntry by *eap j\rnalism ?an by any o!r ag5cy4 ,x is n dr9k1 b ! gutt] press t gnaws at ! v vitals ( ! commonweal?4 ,x is an appall+ ?+ to ?9k t z a nation we pref] to take all our !ories & pr9ciples at second h& f ! say+s ( unscrupul\s ink-sl+]s ( ,grub ,/reet :o h nev] done an hone/ day's "w 9 _! lives1 b h j e>n$ _! daily bread by obey+ ! dictates ( "s f\l capitali/ :o ?9ks ( no?+ b fill+ 8 own pockets4 ,politics may be dirty1 b !re is no?+ q s f\l 9 ?is c\ntry z j\rnalism4 ,unless we c make boys rise above ! p9*beck claptrap ( ! *eap] writ]s we fail entirely to educate !m4 ,to p9 "o's fai? to any?+ b "o's own intellect is to fail to make any?+ ( life4 ,i've tri$ e means 9 my p[] ( late to r\se my boys to take an int]e/ 9 _! "w1 to %[ !m ! cont9uity ( hi/ory1 ! reason :y we read good lit]ature1 ! reason = ex]cis+ ! faculties3 we mu/ s5d !m out into ! _w ) ! critical _s fully develop$1 n ready to be gull$ by e %ibbole? ( p>ty politics or mad cry 9 ! m>ket-place ( p ) axes to gr9d4 ,we want !m to m\ld o!r p's op9ions1 n to take ev]y?+ ready made--z a sort ( rea*-me-d[n suit t !y c we> )\t "q4 ,i want !m to probe all difficulties & n to re/ until !y h plant$ ! new ,j]usalem 9 ?is gre5 & pleasant l& ( ,engl&4 ,( all mission>y "w1 ?is is ! mo/ important1 to get p to ?9k = !mselves1 n to h m9ds l ! r[s ( suburban villas 9 :i* !y live1 ea* "o an exact replica ( its neighb\r's2 dull1 correct1 unambiti\s1 cramp$ & futile1 b to laun* out 9 exp]im5ts1 to probe = "s und]ly+ purpose 9 life1 to keep on se>*+ = "s ,holy ,grail1 to "w = ! amelioration ( mank9d & ! progress ( humanity1 n to sit d[n quietly "u abuses b sword 9 h& to set out to de/roy ! p[]s ( evil4 ,"o gets easily work$ up to prea* ! gospel ( ! nobility ( "w to boys3 ! h>d "p ( ! task is to r\se !m f ! appall+ apa?y & li/lessness :i* *>act]ize !m4 ,!y are us$ to be+ %\t$ at & prea*$ to--!y don't take ! tr\ble to li/5 to "o qu>t] ( :at "o says4 ,!y c und]/& puni%m5t1 b !y h v little use = a m]e appeal to _! bett] nature1 _! reason or _! emotion4 ,e night at #f4cj ,i h a volunt>y class = ,%akespe>e lov]s4 ,we run ?r\gh play aft] play1 & ^? :o come on ! :ole ga9 a great deal4 ,! difficulty is to get !m to come4 ,! great majority ( !m pref] to g ov] to ! gym4 or to laze ab\t 9 _! /udies4 ,!y don't realize at all t ,i h to eat my d9n] 9 five in/ead ( ?irty m9utes 9 ord] to give !m ?is "t4 ,!y look on me z a sort ( ,%akespe>e fanatic & come only :5 !re is no?+ else to d4 ,!y h no idea t ,%akespe>e has some?+ v def9ite to say to !m1 "s pr9ciple ( life to disclose = _! b5efit1 if only !y w d _! "p4 ,!y all ?9k t !re is "s royal road to le>n+ by :i* all virtue c be a*iev$ )\t ard\r1 en]gy or suff]+4 ,if !y c\ld only he> ! compla9ts ( ,old ,boys :o come back & discuss ov] ! fireside _! wa/$ opportunities x w\ld d !m a _w ( good4 ,i try e means ,i c ?9k ( to int]e/ my =ms4 ,i lecture on a c5tury ( ,engli% lit]ature & get ea* boy to select a subject & make x 8 own by read+ up & writ+ a pap] on 8 fav\rite au?or 9 t c5tury4 ,^! pap]s are read al\d be=e ! re/ ( ! =m1 :o comm5t fav\rably or adv]sely1 & debates are held to try ! op9ion ( ! ,h\se on ! diff]5t v]dicts =m$ by ea* memb] ( ! class4 ,i f9d my sy/em ( ent]ta9+ boys to tea a v exp5sive "o4 ,i gave a l>ge p>ty to my =m en bloc at ! end ( t]m3 x co/ me #b #ajs4 ,i %\ldn't m9d if ,i 7 e>n+ a liv+ wage1 b #dj a ye> out ( my #aej is dock$ = a p5sion s*eme 9 :i* ,i take no int]e/1 & ,ox=d bills /ill come 9 & ,i c nev] meet !m4 ,! holidays1 too1 eat su* a hole into "o's sal>y4 ,i am always broke & always 9 debt4 ,i wi% ,i c\ld le>n to save4 ,"s m5 seem to h put by q a lot = ! inevitable ra9y day4 ,i h _h "o good excursion lately4 ,our team won ! ,rapid ,fir+ ,competition at ,bisley & ,i 0 s5t d[n ) ! team to claim ! ca/ ( ! ,w+$ ,victory :i* x is our good =tune to h won4 ,i h nev] se5 a m motley crew ?an ! diff]5t competitors :o w5t up = prizes4 ,tony has got into ! ,%oot+ ,,viii1 s ,i _h him ) me dur+ ?is t\r1 :i* gave me trem5d\s joy4 ,i manag$ to read ,edi? ,:>ton's wond]ful romance ( ,e?an ,frome 9 ! tra9 on ! way d[n & ,! ,innoc5ce ( ,fa!r ,br[n com+ back4 ,i h read ! latt] book to my =m s9ce4 ,!y simply gloat ov] x4 ,x makes admirable mat]ial = reproduction3 ano!r good idea is to read half ( "o ( ! /ories & make !m f9i% x 9 _! own words--a sort ( ,edw9 ,drood idea4 ,?ank ,god ?is t]m is ov]3 ! tir$ness ( my bra9 c be guess$ by ! virul5t language ( my reports4 ,i _h to write sev]al ( !m ov] aga9 because ! ,head object$ to my c&\r4 ,,xi ,augu/ #ab1 #aiab ,camp at ,tidwor? 0 a spl5did holiday4 ,( c\rse ! ,pla9 is n s excit+ z ,ald]%ot3 !re are no ba?s & no t[ns to visit1 b ,i l ! b>e wildness ( x all1 ! undulat+ hills1 ! wide views on e side1 ! clumps ( trees1 ! gorse & ! brack54 ,!y didn't "w u v h>d ?is ye>1 ow+ to ! fact t !re _h be5 "s r[ ab\t ov]do+ x at ,ald]%ot la/ ,augu/4 ,t didn't worry me4 ,i don't come to camp to "w4 ,i come to mix ) z _m boys z possible1 to get to "k _! little ways--,i come to jo9 9 ! rags at s+-song1 to see :at sort ( mat]ial ! o!r s*ools produce1 to laugh at ! amaz+ sc5es 9 ! (fic]s' mess1 to get back "s ( ! sleep ,i seem to h lo/ at s*ool1 to le>n a little milit>y "w1 to live an op5-air r\gh-&-tumble life = a few days1 & 9 %ort to enjoy myself4 ,i _h to leave e>ly ?is ye> 9 ord] to take my ,m4,a4 ,x 0 ! fir/ "t ,i _h be5 back to ,ox=d s9ce ,i came d[n4 ,( all po9tless ?+s 9 life ! tak+ ( an ,m4,a4 seems ab\t ! mo/ prom95t4 ,:y %\ld ,i be suppos$ to be a m responsible creature because ,i pay a few m gu9eas into ! already ov]full ,univ]sity *e/ = ! privilege ( ex*ang+ my rabbit's-fur hood = a r$ & black silk "o8 ,anyway ,i foll[$ ! conv5tion & felt inord9ately important & wise = ab\t two h\rs6 ,ox=d 9 ! ,long ,vac4 might please ,*>les ,lamb b ,i hurri$ away z soon z ,i c\ld4 ,i j glanc$ at a few %ops1 rem9d$ "s long-suff]+ tradesm5 t ,i 0 /ill alive & !n caught a tra9 = ,m9ehead1 :]e ,tony met me fre% f camp4 ,he _h nev] be5 9 ,devon be=e & ,i _h invit$ him d[n 9 ord] t he %\ld jo9 me 9 ! walk :i* ,i _c repeat too (t54 ,we w5t to ,cl\t%am ,ball to see a meet ( ! ,devon & ,som]set /agh\nds1 & _h ! luck to see a kill at ,porlock ,weir3 we slept two nights at ! ,%ip ,inn & talk$ to ,c>ru!rs ,g\ld & sev]al o!r celebrities we met !re2 !n we tramp$ ov] ! ,de] ,=e/ to ,badgewor?y ,wat]1 9 :i* ,i fell & _h to wa/e an aft]noon 9 a cr(tsman's cottage :ile my flannels 7 dri$4 ,we slept t night at ! ,valley ( ,rocks ,hotel at ,lynton4 ,i've nev] se5 s _m =eign]s 9 ,devon4 ,someh[ ,i res5t ! pres5ce ( ^! /rang]s 9 my native l&3 ,i feel t ,i want to %ut ! gates & only p]mit su* z c prove !mselves wor?y to ga9 access to ! ,g>d5 ( ,ed54 ,x is dreadful to he> polyglot noises at breakfa/ & condesc5d+ praises ( ,wat]smeet & ,woody ,bay1 ,p>racombe & ,combe ,m>t9 f ,g]mans4 ,luckily v few ( ^! visitors g f> afield4 ,mo/ ( !m only come to eat & dr9k & l\nge 9 ! g>d5s & sleep4 ,!y don't really p5etrate ,devon at all3 ! secret ( h] *>m /ill rema9s ) h] own *ildr51 & ) ^? to :om h] *ildr5 divulge x4 ,tony 0 9 rhapsodies ov] ! cliff walk to ,ilfracombe & delight$ my aunts by prais+ all ! sc5]y & giv+ detail$ reasons = 8 appreciation4 ,septemb] #bj1 #aiab ,tony only /ay$ 9 ,ilfracombe = a week1 b we made ! mo/ ( our "t4 ,he got on fam\sly ) my gr&fa!r & kept him ?or\ghly amus$4 ,we ba!d twice a day & w5t to all ! %[s we c\ld f9d1 coons & conc]ts & plays 9 ! ,alex&ra ,hall4 ,aft] he _h gone ,i 0 left alone ) my aunts & gr&fa!r4 ,i us$ to read ,seton ,m]riman al\d to !m at nights4 ,my gr&fa!r sp5ds mo/ ( 8 "t attempt+ to solve puzzles 9 ,john ,bull1 ,tit-,bits1 ,answ]s1 & s on4 ,a /range craze to occupy a man ( eighty4 ,he is usually to be f\nd at ! ,c\nty ,club1 ( :i* he is ! lead+ _s4 ,my aunts & ,i g r\nd di/rict-visit+1 picnick+ at ,woolacombe & ,lee1 gett+ up amusem5ts = ,bible ,classes & ,sunday ,s*ool s*ol>s1 & call+ on all ! resid5ts4 ,tir+ ( hav+ no active occupation ,i />t$ coa*+ an ,anglo-,indian boy :o 0 /ay+ at ,combe ,m>t91 :i* ,i f\nd int]e/+ "w4 ,he 0 a delightful fell[1 typical ( all t is be/ 9 ! ,*>t]h\se type4 ,i felt t ,i 0 pay+ my way by work+ ) him1 & ?or\ghly enjoy$ x4 ,9 my sp>e "t1 spurr$ on by my gr&fa!r's ef=ts1 ,i />t$ go+ 9 = ! weekly ,we/m9/] competitions1 )\t meet+ ) any success4 ,my ma9 enjoym5t 0 wat*+ ! ,c>diff & ,swansea tripp]s com+ (f ! *annel /eam]s & explor+ ! delights ( ,ilfracombe4 ,x is = ^! p t ! %ops spread out _! g>i% w>es ( *eap m]etrici\s novels1 vulg> po/ c>ds1 hide\s *9a & o!r mem5toes4 ,i ate p\nds & p\nds ( cream & 0 gr[+ fat & lazy1 :5 ,i sudd5ly f\nd myself call$ away to ,*e/]field to coa* a boy = ! ,london ,matriculation at ! rate ( t5 gu9eas = t5 days4 ,! contra/ 0 too awful4 ,*e/]field is "o ( ! grimie/ & mo/ hide\s ( t[ns on ! bord]s ( ,d]by%ire & ,york%ire4 ,my pupil 0 a slack1 good-=-no?+1 ov]-afflu5t1 ov]gr[n y\? :o _h to pass 9 ,engli%1 kn[+ none4 ,8 fa!r1 :o 0 a colli]y own]1 happ5$ also to be a ,director ( ,education = ! c\nty1 & 0 anxi\s to "k :at education really meant4 ,he _h read ,huxley1 ,sp5c] & ,d>w91 & no "o else4 ,i ask$ him to come along & jo9 8 son & ! ?ree ( u w5t ?r\gh ! hi/ory ( ,engli% lit]ature f ,%akespe>e to ! pres5t day4 ,! fa!r 0 really int]e/$1 ! son frankly bor$4 ,9 ma!matics ! boy knew f> m ?an ,i did1 b he c\ld n frame an ,engli% s5t5ce = any money4 ,nei!r c\ld he see ! use ( poetry1 drama1 novel or essay4 ,i 0 tak5 to ! ,corporation ,ba?s1 ,i 0 motor$ all ov] ! place1 ,i enc\nt]$ "s ( ! rude/ p ,i h ev] met 9 my life1 & ,i 0 ?or\ghly mis]able = t5 :ole days 9 a h\se :i* /ank ( money & :]e ev]y?+ 0 uncom=table & wrong4 ,"w 0 ! only relief4 ,! abjectness ( ! %ops & ! p's faces ?reat5$ to drive me mad1 s great 0 ! contra/ betwe5 ,*e/]field & my ,devon home4 ,h[ any "o c\ld live = *oice 9 an ugly misbegott5 place l ?is ,i c't ?9k4 ,x seem$ to me to invite crime or at lea/ crim9al ?\ghts4 ,! meals 7 "o long un5durable agony3 high tea ( p9e-apple1 blancmange & t9n$ salmon at #e4de1 #g4cj or #h4de1 accord+ z ! ma/] return$ f "w4 ,i w5t hungry mo/ days4 ,aft] a day ,i f\nd myself /udy+ ?is new type closely3 ! fa!r collects ! mo/ evil oil-pa9t+s & ! mo/ exquisite old oak furniture4 ,!y h a pig/y 9 ! front g>d51 :i* occupies _! sp>e h\rs4 ,! old man is deeply religi\s1 v me?odical1 ,lib]al 9 politics1 v quiet1 v anxi\s n to sp5d money1 z hone/ z ! day1 fond ( p[] & passionately devot$ to 8 son4 ,he keeps a j\rnal conta9+ a li/ ( all ! books he reads & 8 op9ions ( !m4 ,i w5t into b>racks at ,exet] = a few days be=e return+ to ,ilfracombe1 to keep my h& 91 b ,i 0 *af+ all ! "t to get back to ! sea & fre$om4 ,! conv5tion ( mess is only less nauseat+ ?an t ( ,common ,room4 ,= ! la/ =tnight ( ! holidays ,i w5t up home to /ay ) my p & _h to submit to be+ %[n to p z a sort ( prize pig4 ,a r\nd ( tea-fights & bridge-drives1 walks & sleep4 ,i don't seem to be able to get go+ ) any orig9al writ+4 ,i wond] :y 9 ! _w !y give u su* long holidays4 ,9 eight weeks "o ought to be able to a*ieve some?+1 write a novel or at any rate p]=m some?+ useful4 ,in/ead ( :i* we travel up & d[n ! c\ntry & wa/e ! preci\s h\rs--,i hate n be+ actively occupi$ e h\r ( e day--life is damn$ dull t way4 ,!re mu/ be ?\s&s ( m5 :o w\ld give any?+ to get z mu* holiday z ,i d1 :]eas ,i *afe & long to be back at "w aga9 weeks be=e ! "t comes to return4 ,x's pleasant to get a *ance ( see+ my fa!r & "m1 ?\gh !y are nev] v communicative4 ,my fa!r is out visit+ 9 ! p>i% all & e day1 & only gets back late at night1 & my "m is usually v busy 9 ! h\se or %opp+4 ,i accompany !m 9 _! walks z a g5]al rule1 b !y are n int]e/$ 9 talk ab\t ,rad*e/]--!y l to discuss books1 b my "m reads little b !ological & philosophical treatises4 ,my fa!r lives = hum\r3 he is amaz+ly witty 9 himself 78 lett]s are a treasure-h\se ( %rewd & excruciat+ly funny "*-sket*es ( 8 p>i%ion]s7 & he is passionately fond ( wit 9 o!rs4 ,i wi% ,i inh]it$ "s ( ?is gift4 ,i f9d t ,i am too deadly s]i\s4 ,i get too excit$ ov] my s*emes to re=m mank9d4 ,he is too k9dly & tol]ant1 too good-natur$ & easy-go+ to try to %ock p out ( _! indiff]5ce4 ,my "m looks on my educational ideals z a sort ( mania out ( :i* ,i %all gr[ :5 ,i come to ye>s ( discretion3 %e ?9ks all education nons5se & a mi/ake4 ,i f9d t ,i become pretty well ! ideal lotus-eat] at home4 ,i sleep f #aj ,p4,m4 to #i 9 ! morn+ & !n read :atev] ,i c lay my h&s on if x is wet1 or g out 9 ! p>i% if x is f9e4 ,if ,i write1 :i* is seldom1 ,i r>ely give up m ?an a c\ple ( h\rs a day to x4 ,i ought to imitate ,a4 ,c4 ,b5son & write two or ?ree h\rs regul>ly daily1 ye> 91 ye> out--b ,i nev] d any?+ regul>ly4 ,if ,i 7 ev] to write a novel ,i %\ld f9i% x 9 a =tnight or ?ree weeks4 ,i c't be> to h any?+ hang+ ov] my head4 ,i am always afraid le/ ,i %\ld die 9 ! middle & !n f9d all ! good "w g = no?+4 ,i wi% ,i c\ld cultivate ! calm pati5ce ( ^! m51 :o "w /eadily = fifty ye>s to produce "s little !sis4 ,w\ld ,i _h ! calm assurance ( ,"l ,acton or ,"l ,morley4 ,if ,i c\ld only cultivate a s5se ( arrangem5t4 ,"h am ,i a /r5u\s & n altoge!r unsuccessful tea*] ( ,engli%1 & ,i c't ev5 /r+ p>agraphs toge!r prop]ly4 ,t's :y ,i l writ+ up my di>y4 ,i don't h to worry ab\t arrangem5t4 ,i c j write d[n ?+s z !y occur to me1 matt]s ( inf9ite mom5t *eek by j[l ) ephem]al topics ( ! h\r4 ,i h be5 read+ ,montaigne's ,essays ( late & d]iv$ consid]able com=t !refrom4 ,i always c>ry a book ab\t 9 my pocket :]ev] ,i g1 "o ( ! ,_w's ,classics = pref]5ce3 x effectually prev5ts me f gett+ peevi% if ,i h to wait = a tra9 or 9 a %op to be att5d$ to4 ,^! holidays ,i h read v ?or\ghly ,john ,/u>t ,mill ,on ,lib]ty & ,hobbes's ,levia?an 9 ?is way4 ,oh = a lucid p5 l ,mill's or an ord]ly m9d l ,hobbes'4 ,su* books are be/ read quietly & 9 small quantities at a "t4 ,:5 ,i read a novel ,i te> ! he>t out ( x1 j z ,doctor ,johnson did4 ,!re are v few novels ,i c't get ?r\gh 9 a day4 ,i usually sit up to f9i% !m if ,i c't manage x o!rwise4 ,my "m says t ,i c't possibly rememb] :at ,i read & t x's pure wa/e ( "t to read 9 ?is way1 b ,i ?9k ,i g5]ally manage to squeeze ! be/ out ( a book 9 ?is way4 ,anyway ,i 0 born to hurry3 ,i ?9k x's a vice1 b impetuosity & turbul5ce are two *>act]i/ics t ,i mu/ h be5 end[$ ) by my fairy godmo!r4 ,x is ?is same idiosyncrasy :i* prev5ts me f be+ a good lett]-writ]4 ,i write to doz5s & doz5s ( boys & fri5ds l ,ru?1 b ,i nev] express myself adequately1 simply because ,i don't take en\gh tr\ble4 ,if g5ius really means ! tak+ ( inf9ite pa9s ,i mu/ be ! lea/ ( a g5ius t ev] liv$1 = ,i only write :5 x is easy to me1 & on subjects t don't require t ,i %\ld ref] to h&books all ! "t4 ,on ! o!r h&1 ,samuel ,butl] has "s com=t+ light to %$ on t topic4 ,octob] #e1 #aiab ,eight weeks is too long a holiday4 ,"o gets out ( t\* ) all ?+s p]ta9+ to discipl9e & rules4 ,z "t goes on "o beg9s to *afe less at :at seem ridicul\s re/rictions2 !y become "p ( ! day's "w1 j z ,i suppose if ,i 7 9 ! ,army ! r$ tape ( ! ord]ly room w\ld n worry me aft] a ye> or two4 ,i h j _h "y ,pollock /ay+ ) me4 ,he is n[ a gunn] ( two ye>s' /&+4 ,x seems only ye/]day ,i 0 tra9+ him = ,woolwi*4 ,he c't und]/& :y ,i /ay 9 s hea!n an atmosph]e z a s*ool4 ,! rules he simply ignores4 ,i f9d him smok+ on 8 way across ! squ>e to breakfa/1 turn+ on my gramophone :ile ! boys are at "w1 sitt+ 9 my w9d[-seat 9 full gaze ( ! s*ool1 glass 9 h&1 dr9k+ :isky4 ,he has no sort ( respect = my s5iors1 b swe>s g5ially 9 ,common ,room1 seizes ! be/ *airs1 takes up ! :ole ( ! fireplace & ! only copy ( ! ,times1 :ile ,hall[s & ,co4 gna% _! tee?1 purple ) rage 9 ! backgr\nd4 ,! be/ ( x is t he is q unaw>e t he is giv+ (f5ce4 ,he is extraord9>ily g5ial1 if some:at condesc5d+ 9 8 mann] t[>ds !m4 ,x is a pure joy to wat* him ) !m3 he s exactly repres5ts ! _w's attitude t[>ds ! :ole race ( u%]s4 ,!y are poor1 ignorant1 d[n-at-heel devils1 b x's z well to be k9d to !m4 ,t is ! sort ( feel+ t ,pollock has1 ,i "k3 y c see x 9 8 e action4 ,i suppose ! diff]5ce betwe5 ,common ,room & a gunn] mess is fairly wide4 ,i h j be5 read+ ,f4 ,r4 ,g4 ,duckwor?'s ,leaves f a ,p$agogue's ,sket*-,book4 ,i wi% ,i _h 8 gift = writ+4 ,i c\ld a tale unfold ( life at a ,public ,s*ool :i* w\ld dispel a few hundr$ ( ! fatu\s sup]/itions t h gr[n1 ,i "k n h[1 r\nd our anci5t homes ( le>n+4 ,b if ,i did ev5 s mu* z reveal ?is di>y ,i %\ld be out ( a job 9 a week4 ,we are 9 ! middle ( "o ( ! m delectable sorts ( r[4 ,a few days ago a field-day 0 fix$ aga9/ ,bl[bor\gh1 b x _h to be scrat*$ ow+ to disease on _! "p4 ,a ,h\se mat* 0 ha/ily sub/itut$ & duly po/$ at #ab4de on ! day4 ,"o ( ! ,h\ses refus$ to turn out because !y 7 n giv5 long] w>n+4 ,hall[s is 9 a f9e /ate ( fr5zy4 ,:at w happ5 to ! capta9 ( ! (f5d+ ,h\se ,i c't ?9k4 ,games bloods d occasionally get ob/rep]\s1 b d n (t5 c>e to risk ,hall[s' wra?4 ,i %all be int]e/$ to see ! dn\em5t4 ,i h be5 into ,sc>bor\gh ) ,pollock to see ,pass]s-,by & ,h9dle ,wakes4 ,h\ghton's play seems to me to be epo*-mak+4 ,q ap>t f its m]its z a play ! subject 0 7to me7 s novel4 ,x expresses s mu* ( ! new _s1 ! _s t refuses to be limit$ by ! n>r[ conv5tions ( its fa!rs & c>ves out a new l9e = itself reg>dless ( public op9ion4 ,x seems to me t ,fanny ,haw?orn 0 q ju/ifi$ 9 refus+ to m>ry ! man %e w5t (f )4 ,he 0 j an amusem5t1 an adv5ture4 ,two wrongs c nev] make a "r4 ,%e want$ a week-end ( lib]ty1 excitem5t--call x :at y w1 & took x1 ready to pay h] "p ( ! damage4444 ,! evil c]ta9ly does n lie 9 h] refusal to m>ry ! man1 b1 if !re is any 7:i* ,i take leave to d\bt71 9 go+ (f ) him 9 ! fir/ place4 ,!re are p :o h to le>n :at life means by gett+ burnt3 %e 0 lucky en\gh only to get s+$ & n ru9$ = life4 ,h] sort does n g on ! /reets4 ,%e probably settl$ d[n to m>ri$ life ) a man aft] h] own he>t v soon4 ,b does ! quiet humdrum pleasure ( safe m>riage ev] give ! gold5 ec/atic mom5ts t come f dang]\s romantic passionate episodes ( a day8 ,! audi5ce made me acutely sick4 ,!y %iv]$ ) delight at ! d>+ ( x--?\gh :at !re is d>+ 9 x ,i don't "k4 ,x is m l a s]mon ?an a play4 ,we are act+ ,! ,great ,adv5ture at ,rad*e/]3 j half a doz5 ( u 9 ,common ,room sudd5ly hit ^u ! idea4 ,we h ! new ,burs> = /age manag]1 a fell[ call$ ,h>d+4 ,he has be5 all sorts ( ?+s1 includ+ music-hall proprietor1 actor & /age manag] ( a suburban !atre4 ,he does n f9d x easy to fall into l9e ) our rigid conv5tions4 ,outw>dly he con=ms r well1 be+ a born actor1 b he manages to live two q di/9ct lives1 "o :i* pleases ! he>t ( ! ,head ,ma/]1 en]getic at 8 "w1 ask+ no que/ions & simply do+ 8 duty1 ! o!r1 ligh!>t$ & gay away 9 ! t[n :]e he sp5ds a great deal ( 8 "t4 ,9 conjunction ) "o ( ! music ma/]s he is writ+ a musical com$y3 !y practise sc5es e night4 ,x is mo/ ludicr\sly silly1 b c]ta9ly n worse ?an #ij p] c5t4 ( ! musical com$ies ,i h se54 ,h>d+ has a di/9ct turn = witty lyrical writ+1 built on a lifelong devotion to ,w4 ,s4 ,gilb]t4 ,! club has improv$ s9ce ,i fir/ jo9$ x3 we all n[ try to improvise some?+ to e>n our cake & :isky4 ,h>d+ writes songs1 ,b5son puts !m to music1 ,jimson & ,i dance or tell /ories1 "s "o plays a banjo or a viol91 & we r\se ! night air ) a cat*4 ,i don't altoge!r l ev5 all ! memb]s ( ! club1 b :5 ,i get v lonely or depress$ 9 my own rooms ,i g !re1 9 ord] to =get myself a:ile4 ,i don't seem able to make any close fri5d on ! /aff4 ,!re is no "o !re1 = in/ance1 :o matt]s to me half s mu* z ,tony1 & at times ,i d\bt :e!r ,i ought to take up s mu* ( 8 att5tion4 ,aft] all1 a boy at s*ool comes to play & "w among 8 equals1 n to mix ) gr[n-ups4 ,tony has too _m advanc$ ideas1 ow+1 ,i suppose1 to ! books ,i l5d him & ! talks we h s frequ5tly toge!r4 ,i mu/ try to d5y myself ! pleasure ( 8 society m ?an ,i d4 ,( late ,i h be5 extraord9>ily pleas$ at "s ( ! "w :i* sev]al boys h %[n up4 ,really q a numb] ( ! %ort /ories & v]ses ,i get are wor?y ( publication 9 "s magaz9es4 ,i try to enc\rage boys to submit _! be/ /uff aft] ,i h sub-edit$ x to v>i\s editors ) :om ,i h deal+s4 ,tony has already _h "o poem accept$ by ! ,mon?ly ,magaz9e4 ,i f9d t ! av]age boy dr9ks 9 ,sw9burne1 ,morris & ,h5ley ) extraord9>y reli% :5 he won't look at ,keats & ,%elley4 ,! fir/ bus9ess is to get him really int]e/$ 9 any?+3 ! decad5t phase w soon pass4 ,i tri$ ,! ,dyna/s on !m & fail$ mis]ably4 ,! really good /uff is utt]ly beyond !m--p]haps !y'll rememb] lat] on & come back to x ) prop] und]/&+4 ,i mu/ %>e my own great joys & discov]ies 9 lit]ature3 ,i c't keep a really f9e ?+ l ,! ,dyna/s to myself4 ,common ,room won't li/53 !y ?9k ,i'm crazy on ! mod]ns = :om !y h no use--n t !y read ! anci5ts1 b !y d all[ !m a place 9 education4 ,! mod]ns !y abuse z m]e wa/]s ( "t4 ,i h be5 try+ = v>i\s ,head ,ma/]%ips & be5 (f]$ t ( ,*ipp+ ,campd54 ,i 0 p>ticul>ly tempt$ to accept x at fir/1 because ( ! beauty ( ! place4 ,mais1 ,/apleton1 & ,i us$ to walk out !re f ,ox=d on ,sundays3 x is "o ( ! mo/ p]fect m$ival t[ns ,i "k1 b x is probably too remote f ! bu/le ( life = a man l myself4 ,anyway ,i refus$ x4 ,decemb] #bj1 #aiab ,we h _h "s good s]mons ?is t]m f visitors4 ,"o man on ! ,beauty ( ,hol9ess tri$ to make u see :at !re 0 ( beauty 9 ev5 ?is arid wild]ness3 he succe$$ r well--b !n1 ( c\rse1 he doesn't h to live "h4 ,he va9ly imag9es t we consid] ! sea to be ! real sea in/ead ( a wa/e ( grey wat]1 ugly & cruel4 ,!n we _h a mo/ fam\s man1 :o tri$ to make all ! s*ool g & confess _! vices to him3 8 mi/ake 0 to imag9e t !re 0 b "o vice & t "o practis$ by #ij p] c5t4 ( ! s*ool4 ,y c't d mu* ) a man :o has got a bee 9 8 bonnet to t ext5t4 ,al?\gh he 0 s9c]e & obvi\sly affect$ _m ( ! boys1 he r irritat$ me4 ,i wi% ,i c\ld settle 9 my m9d :at is ! sort ( s]mon boys ought to h4 ,! "o we _h la/ t]m on keep+ ! ,div9e sp>k alive 0 c]ta9ly ! be/ ,i h ev] he>d1 b t may be because ,i agre$ ) e ^w ab\t ! necessity ( cultivat+ individuality & imag9ation4 ,9 "s ways x w\ld be good = u to he> m ab\t ,*ur* doctr9e3 we are really r vague ab\t our beliefs4 ,i am afraid ! ragg+ ( ,ko5ig is n conf9$ to ! boys3 he has lately be5 elect$ to ! club1 & we d our level be/ to make him drunk3 we tell him ! talle/ ( y>ns ab\t impossible old cu/oms :i* we celebrate = 8 b5efit4 ,he mu/ ?9k u--oh1 ,i don't "k :at he makes ( u4 ,9 my he>t ,i am really sorry = him4 ,( late ,i h tak5 to go+ to see him by myself4 ,( c\rse by n[ he sees t he has be5 hopelessly ragg$ ev] s9ce he came1 b he has a wond]ful belief t 9 ! end he w settle d[n4 ,:5 ?is g5]ation has pass$ on1 he w be /rict] & ! y\ng] boys w rev]5ce him4 ,poor devil1 he doesn't realize t 8 "n is already a byword & t x w become a /&+ tradition to rag him = all "t4 ,!re is ! case ( old ,p>snips ,askew3 he has be5 "h = ?irty ye>s & n a day passes )\t "s silly trick be+ pass$ ^u him4 ,sometimes 8 =m w come clad z if = amateur !atricals ) ! excuse t !y hadn't "t to *ange1 & !y w g on ) _! 7imag9$7 rehe>sal :ile he tries 9 va9 to tea*4 ,on o!r occasions !y come 9 9 uni=m & drill2 !re are endless v>iants3 f\r or five w fa9t & ! re/ ( ! =m ru% ab\t 9 all directions = wat] or c>ry ! bodies out & nev] return4 ,i don't envy ,askew 8 life at all4 ,boys are m]ciless devils :5 !y f9d !y h a ma/] 9 _! p[]4 ,x is all v well to say t a man mu/ h ! :ip-h& ( 8 class4 ,once he has lo/ x he /&s preci\s little *ance ( ev] rega9+ x4 ,ko5ig is pa!tically anxi\s to make good4 ,= "s obscure reason he loves ! life "h & dreads e day le/ he %\ld receive notice to quit4 ,i suppose ?is love ( ragg+ is +ra9$4 ,al?\gh ,i sympa?ize ) & q l ! poor old ass1 yet ,i am z bad z anybody at pull+ 8 leg4 ,ab\t ?ree weeks ago f\r ( u all pret5d$ to be z drunk z man c be & we knock$ him ab\t 9 a mo/ %ameful mann] & kick$ up ! devil ( a r[ 9 8 rooms1 half wreck+ ! place4 ,9 ! end he _h to put ea* ( u to b$4 ,aft] ,! ,great ,adv5ture1 9 :i* ,i 0 too n]v\s to be mu* good1 ,i got bitt5 ) ! craze ( act+1 & made my ,saturday ev5+ juniors prep>e two %ort plays = ! la/ night ( t]m4 ,t has tak5 up e h\r ( my sp>e "t lately & mo/ ( my h>d-e>n$ sal>y1 = ,i h to fe$ ! :ole ca/ at e rehe>sal4 ,we've got a wond]ful new p>son ma/] ?is t]m :o has any am\nt ( orig9ality & c>es = no au?ority4 ,he prea*$ ! o!r day on ! text ( a man be>+ a pit*] ( wat]1 emphasiz+ ! ne$ = m5 to take ^u !mselves ! duty ( be>+ religion into ! home & n leav+ x to ! wom54 ,i r ?9k t he fulfils my ideal ( a s*ool prea*]4 ,he nev] has any notes1 b simply talks 9 a mo/ p]sonal way ab\t ! difficulties t beset him1 problems ( public int]e/1 ev5 controv]sial topics4 ,he1 at any rate1 tries to r\se ! intellectual & /hetic faculties & he is inord9ately *e]ful always 9 spite ( wret*$ heal?4 ,boys cr[d to 8 rooms = spiritual advice4 ,he is almo/ ! p]fect m$iator t a prie/ %\ld be3 8 own devotion to ,god irradiates f him at all times & 9 all places4 ,he is ev] gay & sunny1 & refuses resolutely ev] to be drawn into ! ?\s& little petty qu>rels 9 :i* ! re/ ( u indulge3 8 own =ms wor%ip him4 ,i h made fri5ds ) sev]al outca/s ?is t]m1 boys :o don't fit into ! s*eme ( ?+s & are z a consequ5ce morose1 irritable & unhappy4 ,i try my be/ to make !m see ! po9t ( s*ool rules & all ! re/ ( ! r$ tape aga9/ :i* !y rebel1 b ,i d s 9 su* an unconv9c+1 lukew>m way t ,i might j z well keep sil5ce4 ,at any rate !y h a refuge 9 my rooms & ?ank ,god !y take x4 ,i h _h a v good (f] made me by ! ,head ,ma/] ( ,welbor\gh4 ,he wants me at once4 ,:5 ,i w5t to see ! ,head ,ma/] ab\t x he refus$ to let me g4 ,( c\rse1 said he1 if y *oose to pay ! s*ool a t]m's sal>y = brea* ( contract1 ,i _c prev5t y f leav+ b---- ,i c't see myself able to =feit a :ole t]m's sal>y at any p]iod ( my c>e]4 ,s t's t6 ,( c\rse ,i am n anxi\s to leave because ( my innum]able fri5ds among ! boys3 ,i am r l a cat 9 "s ways4 ,if ,i _h any s5se ,i %\ld take no notice ( ! ,head1 :o really loa!s me1 & g4 ,?ree memb]s ( ! /aff are leav+4 ,no "o /ays "h long1 & really ,i don't wond]4 ,!re seems v little po9t 9 cutt+ oneself "r (f f human life1 or ! *ance ( ev] mak+ any money or any good ?+ out ( life4 ,& yet ,i /ay 444 ,i am v l a cat4 ,,xii ,decemb] #ca1 #aiab ,my =m play 0 a great success on ! la/ night ( t]m3 boys really are f> bett] actors ?an gr[n-up p z a rule4 ,!y ent] into ! _s ( ! "p m quickly4 ,i sp5t ,*ri/mas quietly at home1 read+1 ov]eat+ myself1 writ+ lett]s1 dispat*+ ,*ri/mas c>ds1 att5d+ a va/ numb] ( *ur* s]vices1 visit+ ! cottag]s1 danc+ 9 ! village s*oolroom1 & gossip+ ) my fa!r & "m4 ,on ! #bg? ,i came d[n to ,ba? = ! ,*ri/mas dances4 ,t night1 at ! fir/ "o1 ,i f\nd to my int5se disappo9tm5t t ,ru? 0 unable at ! la/ m9ute to come4 ,t "y ass ,conyngham arriv$ j aft] me4 ,i !re=e da%$ into ! ve/ibule z quickly z ,i c\ld to see if ,elspe? ,tetley 0 !re4 ,to my great joy %e 01 & alone1 & 7woman-l7 z diff]5t z possible 9 h] behavi\r f la/ ye>4 ,%e smil$ cordially z ,i bore d[n ^u h]4 ,h'lo1 ,mr4 ,trah]ne2 x's a long "t s9ce we la/ saw y 9 ,ba?4 ,yes1 & ! la/ "t ,i saw y y cut me3 y cut my dances1 y cut me 9 ! /reet--y---- ,all "r1 don't get peevi%3 h[ _m d y want to-night8 ,none1 if y're go+ to cut !m all4 ,come n[1 let's bury ! hat*et2 y'll h to hurry4 ,i see half ! e>? wait+ to wr+ y\r neck because y won't say :at dances y want4 ,well1 h[ _m are book$8 ,i've only j come4 ,yes1 b t means no?+4 ,well1 tell me h[ _m y want4 ,z _m z y c jolly well let me h4 ,"h's my c>d1 fill x up z y l4 ,d y really mean t8 ,i d3 = goodness' sake hurry up4 ,h[ _m h y tak58 ,oh6 /op1 /op1 y c't h !m all4 ,well1 ,i've only tak5 elev5 z yet4 ,elev56 we %all set ! :ole ( ,ba? talk+4 ,:o c>es8 ,oh6 x's all jolly f9e = y1 b :at ab\t me1 ! poor def5celess maid58 ,:]e's ! little girl y usually dance ) all night8 ,ru?8 ,%e's n com+4 ,oh1 t's :y---- ,y mu/ g--"h's ,mr4 ,conyngham & all ! gang4 ,y'll really keep ^? elev58 ,wait & see4 ,yes1 yes1 ( c\rse ,i w4 ,g away6 ,s ,i h got to "k ,elspe? aft] all4 ,i nev] sp5t su* a night 9 my life4 ,%e beats e girl ,i h ev] met 9 e possible way--%e's pretti]1 m talkative1 m s$uctive1 m lovable1 m--m ev]y?+4 ,%e want$ to "k all ab\t me & told me all h] life hi/ory3 we fix$ up all sorts ( meet+s & grew m & m pleas$ ) ea* o!r z ! ev5+ w5t on4 ,%e is ! be/ danc] ,i ev] /ruck & likes my /yle ( danc+ bett] ?an ! m fanta/ic & mod]n me?ods ( ,conyngham1 aga9/ :om %e seems to h>b\r a pretty active dislike1 to my great a/oni%m5t4 ,i wond] :at's happ5$4 ,!y 7 z ?ick z ?ieves all la/ ye>4 ,! next day ,i met h] aga9 = a few m9utes4 ,i tramp$ up & d[n ,milsom ,/reet until ,i saw h]4 ,i took ,ru? to ! pantomime at ,bri/ol 9 ! aft]noon & to ,gypsy ,love 9 ,ba? at night4 ,elspe? 0 also !re4 ,ye/]day ,i w5t to ! r9k ) ,ru? & saw ,elspe? aga91 & ?is aft]noon ,i manag$ to get away f all my cr[d & h tea ) ,elspe? at ! r9k3 s ends ! ye> #aiab4 ,i seem to be gett+ fond] ( ! o!r sex & n to be q s n]v\s & hoyd5i% 9 _! pres5ce z ,i us$ to be a ye> ago4 ,ba? has educat$ me a good deal4 ,i am mu* m ! normal man ( society ?an ,i ev] ?\ght ,i 0 go+ to be4 ,janu>y #a1 #aiac ,life has mov$ s9ce ye/]day4 ,to-night 0 ! ,lansd[n ,cricket ,club ,ball4 ,i divid$ my programme equally betwe5 ,ru? & ,elspe?4 ,elspe? 0 look+ wond]ful 9 a filmy sort ( p9k /rawb]ry frock4 ,ev]y?+ w5t q normally & gaily until numb] fifte51 aft] :i* ,elspe? & ,i f\nd a sitt+-out room 9 inky d>kness4 ,sudd5ly %e leant ov]1 my arms 7 ab\t h] neck1 we kiss$ 444 & n[ ,i live 9 a diff]5t _w4 ,ev5 n[ ,i c't believe x4 ,x seems impossible t %e %\ld love me4 ,yet %e has promis$ to m>ry me4 ,i nev] dreamt su* luck c\ld be m9e4 ,%e seem$ s f> above me1 s obvi\sly a mat* = ! be/ ( m5 & n = a poor drudge ( a s*oolma/]4 ,%e says t = a :ole ye> %e has be5 ?9k+ ab\t me & meant to m>ry me all along1 only %e 0 afraid ,i 0 already engag$ or ab\t to be4 ,we sat out all ! re/ ( ! dances4 ,i am liv+ on air4 ,i am mu* too *e]ful & c't sleep at all4 ,i want to g out & %\t my good =tune to ! skies4 ,:at are we go+ to live on ,i wond]8 ,:at w my p or h]s say ab\t x8 ,i only "k t no?+ w induce me to give h] up4 ,i seem to be a q diff]5t p]son f :at ,i 0 ?is "t ye/]day4 ,i "k t !n ,i nev] ?\ght t ,i %\ld h ! gho/ ( a *ance ( ev5 kn[+ ,elspe? well1 & n[ %e is will+ & anxi\s to live ) me = ! re/ ( my life4 ,janu>y #bc1 #aiac ,! day aft] ,i 0 engag$ ,i took ,elspe? up to ,london ) ! idea ( go+ to see ! ,s\? ,africans play foot] at ,ri*mond4 ,:5 we got to ,padd+ton we decid$ to d two !atres in/ead1 s we lun*$ 9 ! ,haym>ket & w5t to see ,! ,danc+ ,mi/ress1 :i* 0 rott51 & ,doormats at night4 ,we didn't get back till half-pa/ ?ree ! next morn+4 ,x 0 on t day t ,i 0 =mally introduc$ to h] p1 :o 7 mo/ k9d & ask$ me to /ay1 :i* invitation ,i naturally accept$4 ,s ,i mov$ my belong+s up to ! ,cresc5t :]e !y live1 & 9 two or ?ree days ,i began to receive telegrams & lett]s by ! hundr$ congratulat+ me4 ,e day we took ! dogs = walks1 play$ billi>ds or w5t out ) ! beagles4 ,old ,g5]al ,tetley1 ,elspe?'s fa!r1 is a de>1 v k9d to me & q will+ to all[ u to be engag$ & ev5 talk$ ( our be+ m>ri$ 9 a ye> if ,i c\ld get a bett] job ?an my pres5t "o at ,rad*e/]4 ,mrs4 ,tetley gave u ! run ( ! h\se & we 7 left pretty well to our own devices4 ,elspe?'s bro!rs & si/]s 7%e has two ( ea*7 all appe>$ to congratulate u at "o "t or ano!r3 !y are an extremely *e]y family & ,i love !m all4 ,aft] a week ( bliss at ! ,tetley's ,i took ,elspe? up to see my fa!r & "m1 9 ord] to let h] see our "p ( ! c\ntry4 ,%e took to !m at once z !y did to h]4 ,! re/ ( ! holidays pass$ l lightn+3 s long z ,elspe? 0 ) me ,i 0 p]fectly happy1 do+ no?+ at all b li/5+ to h] play & s+ or talk--! ?\ght ( hav+ to sep>ate1 h[ev]1 w5t ne> to driv+ me mad4 ,:5 ! "t came = me to return "h1 ,i simply c\ld n face x4 ,t la/ morn+ we walk$ ov] ! moor & talk$ ab\t any?+ to keep our m9ds (f ! aft]noon & !n at #a4dh ,i took h] s\? z f> z ,d]by1 :]e %e caught ! ,ba? express & left me /&+1 absolutely lifeless1 wait+ = ! tra9 to take me back to ,sc>bor\gh & ,rad*e/]4 ,! pa9 ( p>t+ is ! mo/ excruciat+ agony t ,i h ev] und]gone 9 my life4 ,i _h (t5 imag9$ t x mu/ be awful = lov]s to h to "p1 b ,i _h no idea x meant all ?is4 ,i want$ to ?r[ myself "u ! tra9 r ?an put any m miles betwe5 u4 ,i tri$ to read3 ,i _h b\ght e k9d ( int]e/+ magaz9e3 x 0 all no use4 ,i tri$ to talk to p 9 ! tra93 !y bor$ me to di/raction4 ,by ! "t ,i got to ,le$s ,i 0 jo9$ by a cr[d ( boys :om normally ,i am only too glad to see4 ,i c\ldn't f9d a ^w to say to !m4 ,elspe?--,elspe?--,elspe?--! "o ^w ?robb$ ?r\gh my head ! :ole way back4 ,i kept on wond]+ :at %e 0 do+ at ea* mom5t ( ! j\rney4 ,i />t$ to p\r out my s\l on pap]4 ,i want to g on writ+ to h] all day4 ,no?+ else int]e/s me4 ,i c't "w4 ,i take no int]e/ 9 any?+4 ,i c't possibly face a ye> ( ?is cruel agony4 ,i'd f> r die4 ,febru>y #b1 #aiac ,i h tri$ 9 e sort ( direction to f9d ano!r job4 ,i c't possibly torture ,elspe? by br++ h] "h ev5 if ,i c\ld af=d to keep h]1 :i* ,i c't4 ,i answ] adv]tisem5ts ( e k9d4 ,i ?9k ,i mu/ h approa*$ e ,head ,ma/] 9 ! k+dom4 ,"o bus9ess firm wrote f ! ,city & ask$ me to g d[n to see _! directors1 & ,i did1 b all !y c\ld (f] me 0 a sort ( glorifi$ comm]cial travell]'s job1 my income to be solely on commission1 :i* isn't good en\gh4 ,i saw ,! ,y\ng] ,g5]ation :ile ,i 0 9 ,london1 :i* pleas$ me a good deal1 b ,london )\t ,elspe? is z hopeless z any:]e else4 ,my pangs are j z acute4 ,i'm work+ l ! devil & play+ games e day1 b at night ,i'm s homesick or r s sick ) long+ = ,elspe? t ,i don't "k :at to d4 ,if only ,i'd got "s long-suff]+ fri5d 9 :om to confide1 b ev5 ,tony c't fill h] place6 ,m>* #b1 #aiac ,i've appli$ = educational po/s 9 ,egypt1 ,india1 ,bangkok1 all ov] ! _w4 ,i've be5 collect+ te/imonials f my colleagues4 ,i suppose all te/imonials are ! same1 b ,i'd no idea ,i 0 su* a wond]fully gift$ tea*] z all my ,dons & ,s5ior ,colleagues make me out to be4 ,x's good ( !m to lie on my behalf l ?is :5 ,i've behav$ s rott5ly to !m4 ,i 0 gett+ on well ) my cont9u$ bomb>dm5t at e door ( employm5t & work+ l a nigg]1 :5 sudd5ly ,i got a really bad b\t ( flu3 x left me a complete wreck4 ,i _h to get up be=e ,i 0 really fit 9 ord] to g to int]view ! ,colonial ,(fice ab\t a job 9 ,nig]ia4 ,i felt prop]ly se$y1 b ,i kept ! appo9tm5t1 & !n sudd5ly lo/ all control ( myself4 ,i c\ldn't face ! prospect ( go+ back to ,rad*e/]1 s ,i j took a tra9 = ,ba?1 telegraph$ to ,elspe? & arriv$4 ,%e 0 a good deal surpris$ & upset4 ,i 0 put /raight to b$ = t5 days & n[ ,i'm recov]+ f bron*itis4 ,i nev] enjoy$ a disease be=e1 b x 0 %e] ,heav5 to h ,elspe? nurs+ me4 ,i felt s]5ely cont5t$ & didn't c>e :at happ5$ to me4 ,( late ,i h be5 v c>efully consid]+ :e!r or n ,i ought to be orda9$4 ,p]iodically ,i get :at seems to me a cle> call4 ,elspe? is aga9/ x4 ,i don't q "k :y4444 ,%e came to see me (f at ,bri/ol :5 ,i 0 convalesc5t4 ,aga9 ! agony ( p>t+ 0 almo/ un5durable4 ,i clung to h] l a small baby until ! v la/ mom5t1 utt]ly reg>dless ( ! o!r pass5g]s4 ,all ! way up 9 ! ,nor? ,express ,i suff]$ horrors ( nightm>es4 ,! hills & t[ns look$ = ! fir/ "t 9 my life cold & ho/ile4 ,x 0 all ,i c\ld d to keep myself f jump+ out & tak+ ! next tra9 back4 ,i "k ,elspe? does n suff] q s acutely z ,i d4 ,i'm glad4 ,x's too t]rible a /ra9 on ! n]v\s sy/em4 ,april #c1 #aiac ,x 0 all ,i c\ld d to keep go+ to ! end ( ?is t]m1 b ,i manag$ x someh[4 ,i've ?r[n myself into my "w z nev] be=e3 :5 ,i am actually 9 =m1 tea*+1 or 9 ! aft]noons play+ games ,i am m or less sane1 b ,i am p]il\sly ne> madness :5 ! night draws on & ! h\rs creep pa/ & ,i am left alone ) no?+ to console me b h] photographs1 h] lett]s & my lett]s to h]4 ,%e is my :ole aim & end ( liv+3 ,i've tri$ go+ to !atres 9 ,sc>bor\gh1 ,i've tri$ to coa* all ! boys = ! sports1 ,i've play$ ,rugg] & hockey ) great] v5om ?an ev] be=e1 ) ! r humor\s result t ,i n[ h spoilt my upp] lip = ev]4 ,i got x cut all to pieces3 x 0 v clev]ly sewn up1 b ,i guess x's go+ to be awry = ! re/ ( my life4 ,i h _h a fe>ful1 nightly fe> ( dy+ be=e ,i c ta/e ! bliss ( m>ri$ life4 ,i wi% ,i c\ld rid myself ( ?is fe>3 x's ! same sort ( funk t makes me ru% ahead ) any?+ t ,i am writ+1 le/ ,i %\ld die be=e x is f9i%$3 x's a mo/ unreason+1 fooli% obsession1 b "o t ,i am totally unable to eradicate4 ,i owe m ?an ,i c ev] repay to ,maurice ,hewlett4 ,i h f\nd x increas+ly h>d to conc5trate my att5tion on to any book or au?or s9ce ,i became engag$3 n[ ,i've f\nd ,! ,=e/ ,lov]s1 ,mrs4 ,launcelot1 ,half-,way ,h\se1 & o!rs ( 8 novels1 & ,i h be5 really engross$1 & lit]ally =gott5 all ab\t my gnaw+ agonies :ile read+ him4 ,poor old ,p>snips ,askew has be5 sack$ aft] ?irty ye>s' s]vice1 = incompet5ce4 ,i nev] 9 my life he>d su* a blackgu>dly action4 ,_m mean ?+s h be5 done s9ce ,i came "h1 tak+ evid5ce aga9/ boys 9 confession be=e ,confirmation1 putt+ ! blame = wrong judgm5ts on to %\ld]s less well able to be> !m1 = example1 b ?is beats all4 ,askew has devot$ ! be/ ye>s ( 8 life to ,rad*e/] & 9 spite ( be+ p]si/5tly ragg$ by e boy 9 ! place = two or ?ree g5]ations1 he has c]ta9ly done a trem5d\s am\nt ( good 9 8 own hone/1 simple way4 ,april #h1 #aiac ,z soon z ev] ! t]m 0 ov] ,i ru%$ back to ,ba? to /ay ) ,elspe?4 ,!re 0 an ,ea/] ,dance ! v fir/ night4 ,elspe? & ,i _h e "o ( !m toge!r4 ,x 0 l return+ to ,heav5 /raight out ( ,hell4 ,i _h be5 hold+ myself 9 lea% s sev]ely = ! pa/ few weeks t ,i 0 p]il\sly ne> to a sev]e breakd[n4 ,elspe? & ,i w5t to all ! po9t-to-po9t meet+s toge!r & ,i recall$ my envi\s long+s ( ! ye> be=e4 ,n[ ,i am z cont5t & z happy z x is possible = man to be4 ,!re isn't a %ad[ on ! horizon4 ,we w&] ab\t ,ba? arm-9-arm1 h tea at ,=tt's tte--tte1 g to ! !atre toge!r1 %op1 & 9 ! ev5+ ,elspe? & h] "m make ?+s = h] bottom draw]1 :ile ,i pret5d to read or write4 ,may #c1 #aiac ,i took ,elspe? d[n to ,ilfracombe = a =tnight 9 ,april 9 ord] to introduce h] to my gr&fa!r & aunts4 ,i h nev] kn[n ,devon m glori\s ev5 9 ! spr+4 ,j to take h] to all my fav\rite nooks & creeks & he> h] eulogies on !m is wor? ,heav5 9 itself4 ,%e is almo/ z true a lov] ( ! ,we/ ,c\ntry z ,i am4 ,we motor$ to ,clovelly & ,h>tl&1 we w5t on ! sea a good deal2 %e is a f> bett] sailor ?an ,i am4 ,i keep on apply+ = e sort ( likely vacancy t ,i he> (4 ,! ?\ght ( ! long summ] t]m fright5s me4 ,i c confide 9 my p3 !y und]/&4 ,!y say1 ,get m>ri$3 y won't be happy till y d--nev] m9d ab\t ! money1 t'll come4 ,! ,tetleys1 on ! o!r h&1 c't und]/& :at !y call my fooli% impetuosity4 ,:at's ! hurry8 say !y4 ,we are bo? v "y4 ,elspe? is devot$ to h] p>5ts1 & s we are at a deadlock4 ,aft] ?ree mon?s ( be+ engag$ ,i h tri$ to f9d out :at are ! peculi> attractions ( ,elspe?4 ,i c't write !m d[n4 ,i don't "k4 ,%e is amaz+ly %rewd & self-possess$3 %e v r>ely %[s h] h&2 z an obs]v] ( human nature ,i've nev] come across any "o to p>allel h]--%e nev] misses any?+4 ,%e is a q unusually capable musician1 a pe]less danc] & intellectual--oh1 ,i c't catalogue h] l ?is3 all ,i "k is t ,i love h] s passionately t life )\t h] is inconceivable4444 ,we h s f> compromis$ t ,elspe? & ,i are to be m>ri$ 9 ,augu/ if ,i c get a job ( #cjj a ye> by !n4 ,may #bj1 #aiac ,x 0 worse ?an ev] com+ back to ,rad*e/] ?is "t4 ,! long holiday all alone ) ,elspe? makes life )\t h] m unbe>able ?an ev]4 ,i don't suppose p 9 our position usually feel l ?is4 ,mo/ ( ! engag$ c\ples :om ,i "k are delightfully placid4 ,m5 are q glad to get away f _! fiances & h a fl+ ) _! old acqua9tances be=e ! gates ( ! prison-h\se ( m>riage f9ally close on !m4 ,i seem to h *ang$ entirely s9ce ,i met h]4 ,i am n[ simply a bundle ( n]ves endur+ agonies ( appreh5sion daily4 ,i am afraid ( ev]y?+1 afraid le/ %e %\ld be ill1 afraid le/ %e %\ld f9d "s "o %e likes bett] ?an me4 ,i h z yet really no claim on h]4 ,i suppose a passion ( ?is sort comes to mo/ m5 nev]1 to a few j once & nev] leaves !m4 ,i hav5't writt5 a s5sible ^w 9 an article s9ce t ev5tful night 9 ,janu>y1 :i* n[ seems tw5ty or ?irty ye>s ago4 ,five m9utes aft] ,i h left ,elspe? ,i feel z if ,i _h be5 sep>at$ f h] = mon?s & 7 nev] likely to see h] aga94 ,i write ! mo/ pitiable1 unmanly1 mawki% lett]s to h]3 %e be>s ) me wond]fully4 ,i wond] if x w\ld h be5 bett] = h] if %e m>ri$ ,conyngham4 ,he has money & c]ta9ly w\ld n be 9 dang] ( go+ (f 8 head unless he 0 con/antly ) h]4 ,i _h always be5 l$ to believe t ! "t ( "o's engagem5t 0 full ( ec/atic joys4 ,i wi% ,i f\nd x s4 ,all ,i crave is m>riage & nev] hav+ to sep>ate f ,elspe? z long z ,i live4 ,e day ?is t]m1 in/ead ( play+ cricket1 ,i w&] = miles alone1 look+ at all ! cottages & bungal[s along ! %ore to f9d a *eap en\gh place = u to live 94 ,ev5 ,tony1 ?\gh he does 8 be/1 _c soo! me 9 my pres5t p>oxysms4 ,x really is %e] cruelty to ?9k ( transplant+ ,elspe? f a place l ,ba?1 away f society & %ops & fri5ds & games & amusem5ts to a dead-alive hole l ?is1 :]e %e won't meet m ?an two girls ( h] own /ation 9 life 9 ! ye>4 ,i j sp5d my "t 9 pray+ = ! days to pass m quickly4 ,i _h no idea t tw5ty-f\r h\rs c\ld possibly take s long 9 ! pass+4 ,no?+ cont5ts me4 ,i really try to plunge into my "w b ,i h lo/ all int]e/ = ! mom5t1 ev5 9 ,engli%4 ,! only ?+ t consoles me is ! fact t we h fix$ ! six? ( ,augu/ = ! w$d+4 ,i am l "s ,l[] ,s*ool fag3 e day ,i cross (f ! date f five or six cal5d>s1 :i* ,i keep to %[ t s _m days h gone1 s _m h /ill to g4 ,i h int]view$ ! ,head ,ma/] ab\t my /ay+ & he wants me ev5 z a m>ri$ man4 ,he has gone s f> z to ask ,elspe? to come up ?is t]m & /ay ) him4 ,elspe? has all h] "t fill$ up mak+ prep>ations = ! w$d+2 %e doesn't seem to miss me z ,i d h]1 :i* is aft] all n /range4 ,i seem to be ! girl 9 ?is affair & %e ! man4 ,e day ,i suff] m & m4 ,n[ ! boys h ne>ly all got measles & ,i am pictur+ myself z gett+ !m too j :5 %e arrives4 ,i h e sort ( =ebod+ & dread on me all day & all night4 ,i hav5't slept s9ce ,i came back ?is t]m4 ,i wi% ,i knew :at 0 ! matt] ) me4 ,day aft] day ,i wat* = ! po/1 wait+ = ! (f] ( "s job to arrive4 ,f ! morn+ till ! ev5+ po/ seems a lifetime--b 9 ! end ,i h be5 rew>d$ = my vigilant & ardu\s se>*4 ,i h j he>d f ! ,head ,ma/] ( ,m>lton t he w\ld l to see me on ,w$nesday ) a view to my tak+ a po/ on 8 /aff 9 ,septemb]4 ,i h writt5 to ,elspe? to meet me 9 ,london & come ! re/ ( ! way ) me4 ,i also mean to br+ h] back ) me to ,rad*e/]3 ,i c't /& ! /ra9 ( ?is any long]4 ,june #aa1 #aiac ,i w5t to see ,m>lton & ,elspe? jo9$ me 9 ,london4 ,x is z ab\t z diff]5t f ,rad*e/] z ,heav5 f ,hell4 ,x is ab\t ! mo/ beautiful old t[n ,i h ev] se54 ,! c\ntry r\nd is d5sely wood$1 ) undulat+ hills ( no v great height1 b extraord9>ily picturesque4 ,aft] leav+ ,lewes--x's 9 ,sussex--"o seems to lose all t\* ) ! hurry ( mod]n life3 only ! sl[e/ ( sl[ tra9s /ops at ,m>lton4 ,we 7 met at ! old-_w /ation1 at :i* no "o seems ev] to alight1 by a c\rte\s old butl]1 :o l$ u up pa/ ! ca/le & ! k5nels to ! ,priory1 a huge ,go?ic *ur* mo/ beautifully proportion$1 ) fly+ buttresses on ! nor? & s\?4 ,! s*ool is an adjunct ( ! ,priory & is exactly l an ,ox=d ,college3 x has ! same p]fectly kept lawns1 ! same remot5ess f actuality1 ! same qua9t old cloi/]s & t9y c\rts & quadrangles4 ,all ! build+s are ho>y ) age & ivy-cov]$4 ,! ,head ,ma/]'s h\se is set "r 9 ! middle ( ! s*ool build+s3 ! boys live 9 m mod]n h\ses scatt]$ "h & !re ab\t ! t[n4 ,! ,head ,ma/] & 8 wife 7 exce$+ly pleasant bo? to ,elspe? & myself4 ,!y %[$ u ov] ! build+s1 :i* are indescribably beautiful2 ! boys are all quiet] & f> m g5tlemanly ?an ! nor!rn]s & look$ attractive & fri5dly4 ,we w5t d[n to ! play+ fields & wat*$ !m at cricket4 ,!y h none ( our absurd rules "h3 !re are no b\nds & boys are giv5 z mu* p]sonal lib]ty z if !y 7 at home4 ,x w be spl5did to tea* 9 su* a place4 ,bo? ,elspe? & ,i 7 en*ant$ ) x4 ,aft] a titanic battle1 ,i manag$ to get h] to agree to come back to ,rad*e/] to /ay = a few days ) ! ,head ,ma/] ( ! ,prep>atory ,s*ool1 :o has always be5 good to me4 ,poor ,elspe?6 ,:5 %e saw ! bleak desolate pla9 ( ,rad*e/] %e ne>ly wept4 ,?ank ,god we are n go+ to live "h4 ,%e /ay$ at ! ,prep4 = t5 days & ,i sp5t e sp>e second ) h]4 ,e morn+ ,i us$ to g d[n to fet* h] & %e us$ to come up ! %ore to meet me1 look+ j lovely4 ,%e w\ld sit & sew 9 my rooms all day s t ,i c\ld get to h] at once aft] s*ool & ,i ab&on$ all games s t ,i c\ld be ) h]4 ,aft] t5 days %e c\ld /ay no long] at ! ,prep4 & ! ,head ,ma/] _h n ask$ h] = ano!r mon?1 s ,i _h to try all sorts ( p to see if !y w\ld ent]ta9 h]4 ,no "o w\ld6 ,s %e _h to g home4 ,i c\ldn't d )\t h]3 ,i ?\ght ,i %\ld g mad4 ,"o morn+ ! doctor came r\nd & told me t ,i ought to give myself a re/1 t my n]ves 7 giv+ way1 t he w\ld fix up leave = me--t ,i 0 simply to g away at once4 ,s )\t say+ good-bye to any ( my f\r-ye>s' fri5ds ,i pack$ a suit-case & left4 ,x seems impossible to believe1 n[ t ,i am back 9 ,ba? ) ,elspe?1 t ,i c ev] h suff]$ z ,i did3 x is all l ! dim recollection ( "s horrible nightm>e4 ,i miss my boys1 ,i miss my =m1 ,i hate to ?9k ( ano!r man usurp+ my rooms1 my place 9 *apel1 tak+ my "w--b ! break is f9al4 ,?is morn+ ,i receiv$ all my books1 my pictures1 my clo!s1 ev]y?+ t ,i _h collect$ 9 my f\r ye>s & ,rad*e/] & ,i "p company = ev]4 ,,xiii ,july #i1 #aiac ,z soon z we got back to ,ba? ,i 0 s5t to a doctor1 :o told me t ,i 0 suff]+ f a v sev]e n]v\s breakd[n1 & t ,i mu/ d lit]ally no?+ till ,septemb] b laze4 ,s ,i h p>t$ f ,rad*e/] = ev]4 ,once ,i 0 m>ri$ he said ,i %\ld probably become normal aga94 ,elspe? & ,i sp5t our days %opp+ & mak+ arrangem5ts = ! w$d+4 ,we w5t d[n to ,m>lton to f9d a suitable h\se to live 9 & f\nd "o ab\t a mile f ! s*ool1 "r on ! outskirts ( ! t[n1 a semi-deta*$ villa1 r l ! h\se 9 ,/rat=d-on-,avon 9 :i* ,%akespe>e 0 born3 x has a t9y /ret* ( g>d5 & a sup]b view f ! d9+-room & b$room w9d[s ( ! p>k & ! wood$ hills ( ! s\? away t[>ds ! sea4 #ce a ye> is ! r5t4 ,we measur$ e nook ( x = c>pets & /airs & hall furniture1 & made an inv5tory ( ev]y?+ t we %\ld want4 ,we sp5d _m happy h\rs se>*+ ?r\gh catalogues = all t we %all require 9 ! h\se4 ,i h insur$ my life = #ajjj1 s t ,elspe? w n be left q p5niless if ,i die sudd5ly4 ,we play t5nis a good deal & ,i read a fair am\nt1 b ,i hav5't ! he>t to write v mu*4 ,i don't q "k :y4 ,july #cj1 #aiac ,elspe? & ,i h _h "o or two m9or tiffs ov] matt]s ( judgm5t4 ,%e has a decid$ w ( h] own4 ,x is go+ to take me a little "t to le>n ! mu*-ne$$ lesson t m>riages to be successful mu/ be l>gely a matt] ( give & take4 ,we are bo? r ob/9ate4 ,i mu/ le>n to give 9 to h] m readily4 ,augu/ #cj1 #aiac ,z ! "t drew ne>] to ! day fix$ = ! w$d+1 p began to arrive f all ov] ! c\ntry4 ,a good _m ,rad*e/] boys & ma/]s1 all my relatives1 & fri5ds ( all sorts began to arrive 9 ,ba?4 ,we _h an amaz+ numb] ( pres5ts1 b ^? :i* t\*$ me mo/ 7 f ,hea!r+ton's ,h\se & my =m4 ,s ,i'm n =gott5 ev5 yet at ,rad*e/]4 ,!y _h a lively "t aft] ,i left4 ,9 my place z a tempor>y sub/itute !y got a p>son :o drank heavily & _h to be c>ri$ out ( *apel twice4 ,because ,i am s poor & because our h\se at ,m>lton is s small ,i 0 prevail$ ^u to sell all my books1 :i* ,i n[ see 0 "o ( ! grosse/ mi/akes ,i ev] committ$ 9 my life4 ,at ! "t ,i ?\ght ( x z a piece ( h]oism & great self-sacrifice4 ,! episode rem9ds me ( ,*>les ,lamb & ! cake4 ,z a matt] ( fact x 0 a piece ( unmitigat$ fooli%ness4 ,i only got #ej = ! lot1 & ! notes t ,i _h made 9 !m might be wor? t if ,i _h kept & us$ !m4 ,we 7 m>ri$ ) a great %[ ( pomp & spl5d\r on ! six? ( ,augu/4 ,i didn't at all l ! gorge\s c]emony3 !re 7 too _m p4 ,x 0 too mu* ( an orgie3 f> too mu* fuss 0 made ( u4 ,z ,i look back x appe>s n[ z a m$ley ( *ang+ clo!s1 cutt+ cake1 dr9k+ *ampagne1 utt]+ platitudes to visitors1 comply+ ) endless sup]/itions1 & nev] see+ ,elspe?4 ,i _h no idea t !re 7 s _m million om5s atta*$ to w$d+s4 ,!y mu/ be v unlucky ?+s4 ,x began to mean some?+ :5 ! day 0 ne>ly ov] & we f\nd ourselves lock$ 9 a fir/-class c>riage b\nd = ,porlock4 ,we _h a room 9 ! ,%ip ,inn look+ ov] ! bay1 & met "s ( ! mo/ ent]ta9+ p x has ev] be5 my =tune to come across4 ,no "o suspect$ t we 7 a honeymoon c\ple3 we 7 purposely call\s ab\t ea* o!r's welf>e 9 ! pres5ce ( o!rs & jo9$ ) e p>ty t 0 got up = any purpose4 ,mo/ ( ! "t we sp5t 9 att5d+ meets ( ! /agh\nds4 ,e "o 9 ! hotel 0 !re = ! hunt+1 & ! conv]sation 0 a refre%+ *ange aft] t ( ,common ,room at ,rad*e/]4 ,"o man 9 p>ticul>1 call$ ,montei?1 :o 0 up at ,ox=d ) me1 0 v /ruck ) ,elspe? & us$ to br+ h] great bun*es ( :ite hea!r e night4 ,i l to see h] admir$3 x %[s me t ,i *ose circumspectly4 ,we ba!d e day & explor$ ! combes & riv]s & villages 9 e direction4 ,i "k no m beautiful c\ntry ?an ?is = a honeymoon3 y c get quiet :5 y want x4 ,we lun*$ ne>ly e day among ! :ortleb]ries on ! moor1 f> away f ! sight ( any liv+ creature3 :5 we want$ to mix ) society we only _h to drop d[n into ,porlock1 & !re 7 always =ty or fifty p 9 ! hotel will+ & eag] to be fri5dly4 ,x 0 ! mo/ consummately p]fect sett+ = a w$d+ t\r imag9able4 ,!re 0 n a speck or flaw ca/ ^u our complete happ9ess once dur+ ! entire "t4 ,x 0 all too %ort3 ?ree weeks fl$ pa/ l ?ree days & we got to "k ea* o!r's little foibles & idiosyncrasies & to make all[ance = !m4 ,we w5t z f> afield z ,ilfracombe1 ,lynton1 ,m9ehead & ,ex=d3 we w5t on foot1 by /eam]1 9 dog-c>ts & coa*es1 & we 7 z m]ry z crickets all ! "t4 ,aft] x 0 ov] we w5t up home to see my p & to introduce ourselves 9 ! m>ri$ /ate to ! villag]s1 :o h kn[n me s9ce ,i 0 a boy4 ,all ?is mon? ,i seem to h be5 walk+ on air4 ,i've =gott5 !re ev] 0 su* a place z ,rad*e/] or t ,i ev] ne>ly w5t mad because ,i _h n ,elspe? by me4 ,:at ,i %\ld d )\t h] n[ ,god only kn[s4 ,i only hope & pray t we may live toge!r to a ripe old age & die )9 a few h\rs ( ea* o!r4 ,!n our lives w h be5 r\nd$ (f completely1 = z x is we are only happy 9 ! possession ( ea* o!r4 ,no?+ else cont5ts u4 ,we w5t on to ,london aft] ?is 9 ord] to buy ! requisite furniture = our cottage4 ,we accompli%$ ?is 9 a s+le day1 sp5d+ ab\t #aej 9 all 9 equipp+ ourselves ) a complete outfit f cell> to attic4 ,we are n[ back aga9 9 ,ba?4 ,septemb] #f1 #aiac ,i don't l wa/+ all my days 9 ?is h\se 9 ! ,cresc5t4 ,i seem to h lo/ all my wild ideals on education3 ,i h no boys n[ to give my life =3 all my hopes are c5tr$ ^u "o object1 ,elspe?1 & if %e fails me ,i am undone inde$4 ,i sp5d my en]gies on writ+ silly lett]s to ! daily pap]s on ! subject ( ! ,olympic ,games1 ( all footl+ ?+s4 ,elspe? n[ cries ?r\gh half ! night because %e says ,i h *ang$ & no long] love h] ) t same passion t ,i once _h = h]4 ,?is is q untrue1 b ,i c't make h] see x4 ,i seem to be a mass ( contradictions4 ,ba? seems to h lo/ its attraction = me n[ t ,i h no?+ to d except wait = ! op5+ ( t]m at ,m>lton4 ,i f9d myself p9+ = ,rad*e/]1 ! club1 ! cross-c\nty runs1 ,rugg]1 camp1 ba?+1 boys to tea--& all ! savage1 heal?y ye>s ( appr5tice%ip :ile ,i 0 le>n+ my job4 ,i've read v little except a novel call$ ,s9i/] ,/reet1 by ,compton ,mack5zie1 :i* seems to me to be at once v good & v bad4 ,i don't l x s mu* z ,c>nival1 b 8 pictures ( 8 old ,public ,s*ool ma/]s are extraord9>ily vivid & probably true4 ,i wi% ,i c\ld write su* a book4 ,i want to settle d[n to "s s]i\s writ+1 b ,i hav5't ! pati5ce to beg9 on a book1 p>tly because ,i %\ld imm$iately beg9 to fe> le/ ,i %\ld die be=e x 0 f9i%$4 ,i wi% ,i c\ld rid myself ( ?is sill9ess4 ,septemb] #aa1 #aiac ,i h j be5 up to ! ,bo>d ( ,education to be int]view$ = a lucrative po/ 9 ,india4 ,i %\ld de>ly l to g & ,i h ! job def9itely (f]$ me1 #fjj a ye> to inspect ! tea*+ ( ,engli% 9 ,ceylon1 b ,elspe? is aga9/ x1 s ,i %all h to refuse4 ,i 0 also (f]$ #g a week to sub-edit ! ,daily ,tatl]1 b ,i c\ld n ( c\rse break my contract at ,m>lton1 & !y w\ld n keep x op51 s t's (f4 ,i %\ld l to be a j\rnali/4 ,! "w w\ld suit me admirably4 ,i read ,! ,/ory ( ,l\ie1 by ,oliv] ,onions on my way s\? at night1 & arriv$ at ,m>lton at n9e o'clock & walk$ up ! hill ?r\gh ! pretty n>r[ /reets to my new home1 :i* ,elspe? & h] "m _h prep>$ aga9/ my com+4 ,x c]ta9ly is a great *ange aft] ,rad*e/]4 ,! only un=tunate ?+ is t ,i am no long] my own ma/]4 ,i n[ %all h to be c>eful ab\t dirty boots4 ,elspe? has ! la/ ^w z to :]e ev]y?+ is to g4 ,%e & h] "m w5t to b$ e>ly & ,i w5t r\nd ! h\se on a t\r ( inspection4 ,! hall is really some?+ to be pr\d (1 ) its bookcases & oak *e/ & gr&fa!r clock4 ,! draw+-room is small b da9ty2 mo/ ( ! pictures are ord9>y & *eap3 we b\ght !m at ,boots' = v little4 ,! silv] t we _h = w$d+ pres5ts is all put out on mahogany tables1 & !re are photographs ( ,elspe?'s fri5ds b none ( m9e1 :i* irritat$ me mom5t>ily4 ,i loa! ! nondescript *9a ornam5ts on ! mantelpiece4 ,! d9+-room closely resembles my own rooms at ,rad*e/]4 ,all my old ,ox=d sign$ pro(s ( ,blair ,leighton & ,dicksee take up ! wall space & !re are two book%elves4 ,! /udy conta9s my bureau & all my special treasures4 ,9 ?is room at lea/1 ,i hope1 t ,i %all be able to d z ,i l4 ,our b$room is l>ge & yet v cosy4 ,i ?9k ,i am go+ to love ?is h\se4 ,at any rate ,i feel v pr\d at be+ a h\sehold]4 ,septemb] #ai1 #aiac ,i h sp5t a week on my bicycle explor+ ! surr\nd+ c\ntry be=e t]m beg9s4 ,x is glori\s to live :]e p hunt1 & !re are l>ge h\ses1 & c>s pass+ ! door 7we are "r on ! ma9 ,london-,ha/+s road7 & ! villages are all snug & picturesque1 & !re are heaps ( ripp+ neighb\rs :o call & look z if !y 7 go+ to ent]ta9 u lavi%ly4 ,x is possible1 too1 to get d[n to a real sea1 h[ diff]5t f ! s-call$ sea at ,rad*e/]1 a sea ( blue & gre5 flank$ by great :ite ,sussex cliffs4 ,i feel mo/ extraord9>ily at home & yet ,i funk ! com+ t]m3 ,i don't "k h[ ^! boys w take to me4 ,!y are sure to be v diff]5t f ! ,rad*e/] boys4 ,i d\bt :e!r !y'll be z boi/]\s or z heal?y4 ,"t w %[4 ,,xiv ,octob] #d1 #aiac ,i h n[ _h my fir/ ta/e ( life z a ma/] at ,m>lton4 ,! air "h is sluggi%1 w>m & unheal?y4 ,i nev] want to g out & ,i always feel tir$4 ,!re is none ( ! en]gy :i* "o associat$ ) ,rad*e/]4 ,! place is altoge!r diff]5t4 ,9 ! fir/ place !re is practically no ,common ,room life1 :i* is p]haps a good ?+4 ,we only ga!r 9 ,common ,room f #aa to #aa4ae e morn+ = break4 ,! ma/]s live all ov] ! t[n4 ,!re are eight h\ses & ea* "o is q di/9ct f any o!r3 ! boys nev] mix4 ,mo/ ( ! /aff are q "y4 ,( ! eld] ones ,i h come across ! (fic] comm&+ ! ,corps :o is eld]ly 7he has a son old] ?an ,i am71 a p>son1 v good-natur$ & easy-go+1 b ) an insatiable desire = talk+4 ,he is ! mo/ gossipy man ,i ev] met4 ,8 wife is "o ( ! sweete/ wom5 ,i ev] met4 ,we h d9$ !re once1 b x 0 a dull meal4 ,he monopoliz$ ! entire conv]sation4 ,!re is ano!r ,h\se-ma/] p>son1 also old1 :o is v lit]>y & runs a select society1 :i* meets e ,sunday aft]noon to read & li/5 to pap]s on lit]>y topics4 ,i %\ld l to belong to t4 ,"s day ,i hope to be elect$4 ,we h also d9$ !re4 ,ponsonby is a wond]ful raconteur b r ecc5tric 9 8 habits3 ,i %\ld ?9k t he takes "s kn[+4 ,! o!r ,h\se ma/]s are all "y & all m>ri$4 ,e "o "h seems v well (f z comp>$ ) ! ,rad*e/] ma/]s4 ,!y all h private means4 ,!y ride1 ?\gh n (t51 to h\nds1 !y own c>s & motor-bicycles1 & don't appe> to d v mu* "w4 ,mo/ ( !m live solely = games4 ,i f9d t ,i am gett+ m & m agitat$ at ! games feti%4 ,al?\gh !y live "u ! %ad[ ( ! mo/ inspir+ *ur* 9 ! c\ntry1 & ?\gh ! s*ool build+s !mselves are exce$+ly beautiful1 ! boys & ma/]s alike seem to di/ru/ beauty j z mu* z ! ,rad*e/] p did4 ,!re is "o man ) :om ,i h =m$ a /rong alliance4 ,he1 l myself1 is a new-com]4 ,he is unm>ri$1 v clev]1 & des]t$ ! ,=eign ,(fice1 :]e he held a good billet1 to come d[n to tea* ! ,six?4 ,he is 9 ! eyes ( ! s*ool q mad4 ,he is c>eless z to 8 clo!s1 we>+ next to no?+ on a v cold day & arctically clad :5 x is w>m & sunny4 ,he has a knack ( =gett+ :at "t x is & sets out = a walk :5 he ought to be go+ into s*ool4 ,he is a real poet & a f9e classic4 ,8 "n is ,wrio!sley & is already kn[n z ! ,rott]4 ,on ,sundays he we>s a top hat & immaculate morn+ clo!s ) a :ite slip1 :ite spats & pat5t-lea!r boots4 ,add$ to ?is he /amm]s & is acutely n]v\s4 ,! re/ ( ! /aff are n inspir+4 ,!re are sev]al beefy ,blues1 a few slack m5 :o take no int]e/ 9 any?+ t occurs 9 ! s*ool outside _! =m "w1 & "o man :o ought to be a c\ntry squire1 :o presides ov] ! local ,di/rict ,c\ncil & sp5ds all 8 en]gies on runn+ ! t[n4 ,! boys are all g5tlem51 v slack1 v quiet1 c>e no?+ = "w & a v great deal too mu* = ,rugg]4 ,un=tunately ,i h begun badly4 ,two articles t ,i wrote long ago on ,public ,s*ool ,re=m h j f\nd _! way into pr9t4 ,e "o "h has read !m & !y all look on me z a dang]\s innovator1 unpatriotic & disloyal4 ,x is 9 va9 t ,i po9t out t ,i said ^! ?+s ( ano!r s*ool & "u ! /ress ( n]ves4 ,i am a m>k$ man4 ,:atev] ,i d ,i %all be look$ ^u ) suspicion4 ,!y all ?9k ,i am on ! look-out = copy4 ,elspe? does n mu* c>e = ! s*ool p & ,i don't altoge!r blame h]4 ,! wives are v cliquey1 & ?9k t !y h a "r to dictate to ! wives ( ! y\ng] ma/]s exactly z to h[ !y %\ld dress1 h[ !y %\ld behave1 :o !y %all "k & :o !y %all n "k4 ,! society ( ,m>lton is v snobbi% & divid$ up into a myriad diff]5t sets4 ,at ! top !re is ! ,ca/le clique1 :o hunt & play polo4 ,"s ( ^! are q amus+4 ,!n come ! s*ool p1 :o keep to !mselves4 ,aft] !m come ! pr(essional clique4 ,!re are va/ numb]s ( retir$ ,indian milit>y & civilian p1 :o play bridge & walk ab\t ! c\ntry do+ no?+ 9 p>ticul>3 to ^! are atta*$ ! doctors1 bank]s1 solicitors1 & cl]gy4 ,next come ! weal?i] tradespeople & ! o!r s*ool p4 ,m>lton boa/s half a doz5 diff]5t s*ools to meet ! dem&s ( p ( widely diff]+ ideas1 ,roman ,ca?olic1 ,second>y1 ,girls' ,colleges1 ,bo>d1 ,gramm> & ,national ,s*ools3 ! place is ov]run ) educational e/abli%m5ts4 ,!re is consequ5tly no de>? ( p1 ?\gh ! total population is c]ta9ly n m ?an t5 ?\s&4 ,my "w is n v ardu\s & gives me "t to write 9 my sp>e h\rs4 ,i only hope t ,i %all h ! s5se to avail myself ( x4 ,i take ma!matical sets all ?r\gh ! s*ool3 ! boys seem to "k ev5 less ?an !y did at ,rad*e/]4 ,c]ta9ly !y "k no ,engli%4 ,i f9d to my int5se disgu/ t ,i am & h be5 = ! pa/ t5 ye>s suff]+ f *ronic app5dicitis4 ,!re is no ne$ z yet = an op]ation1 b ,i h to be diet$ v c>efully & avoid games4 ,a mu* m insidi\s disease is attack+ my bra94 ,i am beg9n+ to get re/ive4 ,i hav5't ! lea/ idea :y4 ,i want to get up & run away4 ,x is all too com=table4 ,i am afraid ( acquiesc+ & becom+ z my colleagues1 happy z %eep are happy bask+ 9 ! sun4 ,i nev] _h ?is be=e3 x's a new developm5t4 ,i g = miles on my bicycle & sit on /iles or h$ges & read or gaze out ov] ! l&scape & wi%--,i sc>cely "k = :at4 ,i h lately be5 r]ead+ all ,?omas ,h>dy's novels4 ,i seem to be a sort ( second ,jude ! ,obscure4 ,! h\rs are v diff]5t f ^? at ,rad*e/]4 ,we h breakfa/ at #h4cj4 ,*apel 7:i* we only h to att5d once a day7 is at #i4ae1 & !n s*ool goes on f #i4cj to #ab4de4 ,at "o o'clock we lun* & ,elspe? & ,i walk d[n to ! t[n to %op or *ange a libr>y book at ! /ation1 gett+ back = tea at f\r4 ,s*ool cont9ues f #d4ae to #f4 ,!n "w is ov] = ! day4 ,!re is no prep>ation invigilation = ma/]s1 ?ank ,god4 ,9 ! ev5+ aft] d9n] ,i d a little correct+1 n m ?an is necess>y1 write if ,i feel l x1 read a *apt] or two ( a novel1 & s to b$ at t54 ,! days pass v quickly & ,i don't seem to d any?+4 ,i am a*iev+ no?+4 ,mo/ ( ! day seems to be sp5t 9 rid+ to & f s*ool4 ,i've be5 read+ ,d4 ,h4 ,lawr5ce's novel1 ,sons & ,lov]s4 ,x's ab\t z p]fect a picture ( ,midl& life z c\ld well be imag9$4 ,?ank ,heav5 t ,i'm back 9 a c\nty among p :o hunt & talk ! ,k+'s ,engli%4 ,i h a great deal to be ?ankful =4 ,x seems a v ,elysium ( quiet cont5t & happ9ess1 & yet !re is und]ly+ trag$y4 ,! fir/ ,monday 9 ,octob] is made an occasion = an annual orgie :i* r\ses ! t[n out ( sleep4 ,i h j come f p>tak+ ( all ! fun ( ! fair4 ,x />ts on ! ,sunday night1 :5 all ! riff-raff ( ! place m>* ?r\gh ! /reets mak+ a fe>ful d9 ) drums & kettles & t9 cans & :i/les1 to celebrate ! completion ( ! build+ ( ! ,priory4 ,! day aft] is giv5 up to revelry ( a r gross k9d4 ,boo?s are erect$ 9 ! ma9 n>r[ /reet & all sorts ( useless ?+s are b\ght & sold4 ,on ! fair gr\nd !re are r\ndab\ts & sw+s1 c9ema %[s & helt]-skelt]s1 h\p-las & side %[s1 rifle ranges & coco-nut %ies4 ,x is all v tawdry & %all[ & noisy & *eap1 b x gives "o a glimpse ( ,hodge at play :i* is in/ructive4 ,comp>$ ) ! nor?-c\ntryman he is feckless1 v subs]vi5t1 sl[ & delib]ate 9 8 movem5ts1 cont5t ) 8 potato-pat* & f\rte5 %ill+s a week z wages1 afraid ( 8 sup]iors 7! nor?-c\ntryman has no sup]iors7 & 9 all ?+s seems to be a relic ( ! feudal sy/em4 ,he takes 8 pleasures v sadly & is frequ5tly drunk2 he f9ds life monoton\s b he is n ambiti\s en\gh to ca/ (f 8 sl\gh2 9 ,m>lton he 0 born & 9 ,m>lton he w be buri$ & t is 8 life hi/ory4 ,!re are z a consequ5ce a great numb] ( workh\se inmates1 semi-lunatic boys & girls :o loit] ab\t ! /reets all day3 ! %ops are v poor & ! att5dants sl[ beyond belief4 ,no "o "h seems to h any conception ( ! value ( "t4 ,! boys at ! s*ool h ! same lazy habits 9 a less] degree3 !y r>ely run1 !y amble along ?r\gh life v happily4 ,!y are g5ial b by no means effusive4 ,! lack ( wild en?usiasms1 frequ5t riots1 /r5u\s fri5d%ips & enmities is "o ( ! gl>+ po9ts ab\t ,m>lton :5 ,i come to comp>e x ) ,rad*e/]4 ,aft] a few weeks ,elspe? & ,i felt s b$raggl$ & worn out ow+ to ! en]vat+ climate t we took a few half-holidays d[n by ! sea4 ,:at a joy x is to be work+ 9 s exquisite a c\ntry4 ,! drive ov] ! d[ns1 ?r\gh ! p9e-woods1 d[n to ! rocky coa/ puts fre% blood into "o4 ,i want to s+ = ! v joy ( be+ able to appreciate x4 ,nature is beg9n+ to mean v mu* m to me ?an %e ev] us$ to4 ,i g up sometimes 7:5 ,i am fretful & incl9$ to *afe at ! prison b>s7 to ! golf-c\rse1 & !n gaze ov] ! nor!rn vale1 & ! ,k5ti% ,weald1 ! :ite cottages ne/l+ "u ! hills1 ! spires ( _m *ur*es1 & a great peace desc5ds on me4 ,i beg9 to realize ! mean+ ( t ^w ,engl& & all t x connotes4 ,if ,i hadn't be5 9 ! wild]ness = f\r ye>s ,i %\ld probably nev] h felt q su* a ?rill ( ?ankfulness at ! beauty ( x4 ,^! s\?-c\ntry p z a rule take x all z a matt] ( c\rse3 !y h liv$ "h always3 !y h nev] se5 ,halifax or ,hudd]sfield or ,le$s or ,rad*e/]4 ,!y don't "k ! gha/ly depression t s9ks into "o's s\l aft] a mon? ( gloomy1 sunless days 9 a foggy1 poison\s1 manufactur+ t[n4 ,"o ( ! qua9te/ *anges 9 my life is t n[ ,i f9d t ,i want to write4 ,i keep gett+ fre% ideas daily4 ,at pres5t ,i am engag$ 9 edit+ an ,an?ology ( ,v]se & ,prose = ,s*ools1 :i* isn't any?+ l s dull z x s\nds4 ,decemb] #af1 #aiac ,i h _h ,tony d[n "h = a few days4 ,x 0 l ent]ta9+ a hurricane4 ,he says t ,i'm 9 dang] ( becom+ z inv]tebrate z a limpet4 ,:]e are1 he ask$1 ! wild diatribes aga9/ abuses1 ! physical fitness1 ! madness ab\t games1 ! fr5zy = intellectual improvem5t8 ,i %ook my head sadly & murmur$ some?+ ab\t ! air4 ,! boys he look$ at 9 break "o morn+ & snort$ audibly l a w>-horse4 ,^! lads h got ! 'guts' ( an ,ague-*eek1 ! blood ( s>d9es1 he said4 ,:y don't !y get a move on8 ,d !y always slop ab\t l ?is8 ,y want ! ,rad*e/] s]geant "h = a few days1 "s "o to op5 _! w9dpipes4 ,:at d y d all day8 ,i told him4 ,i said 'd1' he repli$4 ,p]haps my app5dicitis may h some?+ to d ) x1 b c]ta9ly x is a *ange to f9d myself conf9+ myself to a sl[ walk into ! t[n ) ,elspe? 9 place ( ! sev5 miles' /r5u\s run or ! gory game ( ,rugg] t usually occupi$ my aft]noons4 ,i g out ) ! beagles a good deal1 b = ! fir/ "t 9 my life1 in/ead ( try+ to foll[ ! h\nds :]ev] !y g1 ,i sit on ! tops ( gates & wait = !m to come back & don't worry if ,i lose !m altoge!r4 ,!re is no fight+ aga9/ ! temptation to slack4 ,elspe? has _h a s*ool-fri5d /ay+ ) h] :o infuriat$ me by h] vacu\s behavi\r4 ,h] only aim 9 life is to attract m54 ,i don't "k :at is ! matt] ) me1 b m>ri$ life is rubb+ me up ! wrong way4 ,i am becom+ fidgety ab\t my rights 9 ! h\se4 ,x s\nds *ildi%3 9 fact x is *ildi%4 ,?is settl+ d[n bus9ess is go+ to be a l5g?i] job ?an ,i ?\ght4 ,i seem to h lo/ all my old fre$om ( action or ?\ght4 ,i c]ta9ly love ,elspe? no less 9 my he>t ( he>ts1 b ,i hate be+ manag$ by a pack ( wom54 ,fir/ !re is ! s]vant1 !n ,elspe?1 !n ,elspe?'s s*ool-fri5d4 ,i nev] seem to see a man4 ,i c no long] h cr[ds ( boys ab\t me & ent]ta9 !m z ,i us$ to1 because x's s exp5sive & we c't af=d x4 ,besides x makes s mu* extra "w4 ,b ! real tr\ble is1 ,i fancy1 t ,i love ,elspe? f> m ?an %e loves me4 ,i sc5t ! elem5ts ( a trag$y "h already4 ,"o cu/om "h pleases me a good deal4 ,all ! s5ior boys h u 9 turn to _! /udies to tea4 ,!y are mu* m m5 ( ! _w ?an ! ,rad*e/] bloods4 ,_! airs & m\/a*es1 _! evid5t weal? & p]fect ease ( mann] all fright5 me4 ,i feel v mu* m l a fag be+ patroniz$ ?an a ma/]4 ,i h already _h two or ?ree dire conflicts 9 ,common ,room ov] ! articles ,i h lately publi%$4 ,sev]al ( my colleagues won't speak to me3 o!rs say t ,i am try+ to head a revolt aga9/ games & all ! age-old traditions t made ,m>lton fam\s3 :ipp]snapp] is ! phrase mo/ commonly employ$ ab\t me ,i ?9k4 ,i see myself class$ ) ,tipham ( ,! ,lan*e/] ,tradition4 ,"o ( ! greate/ pleasures ,i get 9 life is on alt]nate ,saturday ev5+s1 :5 ,i att5d ! ,s*ool ,debat+ ,society & let loose "s ( my wild !ories4 ,^! d n t5d to make me m popul>1 b !y c]ta9ly r\se p to speak :o normally w\ld keep sil5ce ei!r ?r\gh n]v\sness or indiff]5ce4 ,my "w ,i %\ld l if only !re 7 m ( x4 ,i get s little to d t life hangs v heavily on my h&s4 ,i am become fur!r dome/icat$ by ! possession ( a dog & a cat4 ,we qu>rel ov] ! animals4 ,i loa! ! cat3 ,i hate all sleepy ?+s & ,elspe? hates ! dog 9 ! h\se4 ,consequ5tly ,i g (f ) ,sludge 7a wild r\gh-hair$ t]ri] ) no respect = any?+ 9 ! _w7 & tramp ! c\ntry = miles & talk to him3 he c und]/& my frets & worries4 ,he is v l me1 nev] happy unless he is out & ab\t *as+ some?+ fr5zi$ly4 ,elspe? /ays at home & consoles h]self ) ! cat4 ,x's a bad exi/5ce4 ,lately ,i h succumb$ to a new disease4 ,i h an ov]ma/]+ desire to he> ! ro> & bu/le ( ,london3 ,i believe if we liv$ !re we %\ld be happy1 !re is su* heaps to d4 ,mo/ husb&s 9 ! city only see _! wives at night1 9 ! e>ly morn+ & ev5+4 ,consequ5tly !y are glad to meet1 :]eas ,elspe? & ,i c see "o ano!r ne>ly e mom5t ( ! day4 ,i am 9 to all meals & inv>iably ab\t ! place :5 rooms are be+ clean$ out1 :i* seems to me to be happ5+ all & e day4 ,! only way ,i h kept go+ is by keep+ ! h\se full ( visitors1 ma9ly old ,radca/rians1 :o come to see :at sort ( a m>ri$ man ,i make4 ,"o curi\s incid5t t has j happ5$ w give ! clue to my /ate ( m9d4 ,my p h be5 /ay+ 9 ,*elt5ham & z ,elspe? & ,i _h be5 bick]+ freely & ,i _h be5 feel+ rott51 we decid$ t x w\ld be a good ?+ = bo? ( u if ,i w5t to see !m = ! week-end4 ,i h always be5 irresolute1 b ,i _c rememb] ev] weigh+ any?+ s c>efully z ,i did ! pros & cons ( ?is ridicul\sly small matt]4 ,9 ! end ,i w5t4 ,i 0 int5sely mis]able & lonely 9 ! tra94 ,all sorts ( horrors cross$ my m9d1 accid5ts to ,elspe? :ile ,i 0 away1 accid5ts to ! tra94 ,by ! "t ,i got to ,*elt5ham ,i 0 9 an abject /ate4 ,i j embrac$ my p>5ts & !n /at$ t ,i 0 go+ /raight back home4 ,!y did _! be/ to prevail ^u me at lea/ to /ay = "o night1 b ,i 0 adamant4 ,i walk$ ) !m1 argu+ all ! way1 to _! hotel & !n /raight back to ! /ation1 :]e ,i caught ! la/ tra9 ( ! night = ,london4 ,i arriv$ at ,m>lton at two 9 ! morn+ & _h to r\se ,elspe? by ?r[+ /ones at h] w9d[4 ,sobb+ & half-dem5t$ ,i 0 put to b$4 ,%e 0 9 a t]rible /ate3 %e ?\ght ,i _h gone out ( my m9d4 ,i am n c]ta9 t ,i wasn't4 ,all ,i "k is t ?\gh ,i qu>rel ) h] 9 ?is absurd way1 ,i _c be> to leave h] = m ?an a few h\rs at mo/4 ,x is a mo/ extraord9>y /ate ( m9d to h got into4 ,i wi% ,i c\ld expla9 x4 ,no "o c\ld h be5 san] ?an ,i 0 up to ! "t ( my engagem5t3 n[ ,i seem to be m ne>ly approa*+ insanity ) e pass+ h\r4 ,i _c believe t e newly m>ri$ man suff]s z ,i am suff]+4 ,all ?is tells on ,elspe? too4 ,su* behavi\r z m9e only less5s h] love = me4 ,%e does n really sympa?ize at all4 ,%e is becom+ cold4 ,my ,god6 please %[ me ! way to keep h] love4 ,s ends my fir/ t]m at ,m>lton4 ,i h read a good deal & b\ght a few books4 ,i h made a />t at writ+4 ,my heal? is becom+ v bad4 ,i h n le>nt h[ to control myself or my wife4 ,i want happ9ess &1 /ra9+ aft] x1 only atta9 mis]y4 ,i l ! boys b !y are slack & don't really want to le>n any?+4 ,i h jo9$ ! ,corps1 b x is n s sm>t or popul> "h z x 0 at ,rad*e/]4 ,i h enjoy$ mo/ ( all wat*+ ! s*ool ,rugg] mat*es4 ,x is consid]$ "p ( e "o's duty to g d[n to ! fields to wat* all mat*es1 :i* irritates me4 ,i don't want to wat* because ,i'm expect$ to1 b because ,i want to4 ,nei!r ,elspe? nor ,i are v popul>3 we h made enemies by accept+ an invitation to a ,h\se supp] & !n n turn+ up because we left a day be=e ! end ( t]m4 ,we _h no idea t ^! ,h\se supp]s 7 only annual ev5ts & t invitations to !m are consid]$ ! highe/ hon\r possible :5 ext5d$ to ma/]s :o don't own a ,h\se4 ,x w\ld be useless to expla94 ,! boys are f> m civiliz$ ?an !y 7 at ,rad*e/] ow+ to ! fact t _! ,h\se-ma/]s are m>ri$ & t q frequ5tly !y meet memb]s ( ! o!r sex4 ,!y are m urbane & poli%$3 !y acquire a k9d ( savoir faire 9 _! demean\r1 a sm>tness 9 _! dress :i* 0 noticeably lack+ at ,rad*e/]4 ,!re is n s great a cleavage betwe5 home & s*ool2 !y sp5d q a numb] ( aft]noons 9 draw+-rooms2 !y ent]ta9 ! small sons & daught]s ( ! /aff1 !y come into contact to a c]ta9 ext5t ) ! life ( ! /reets1 !y are all[$ to buy :atev] !y l 9 any %ops1 !y are enc\rag$ to explore ! beauties ( ! c\ntryside on bicycles4 ,"s ( ! prefects h motor-bicycles4 ,!y are all[$ to play golf & to g out to tea at ! h\ses ( private resid5ts 9 ! t[n4 ,altoge!r !y are made z happy z x is possible = boys to be4 ,9 a ^w1 ,i c\ld n imag9e any boy committ+ suicide at ,m>lton1 :]eas !y might at ,rad*e/]4 ,nev]!less !re are sev]al ?+s t are wrong ab\t ! place4 ,! lack ( en]gy is by f> ! mo/ noticeable4 ,! lack ( read+ is p]haps ! next & may foll[ f x4 ,! s*ool libr>y is v old & well /ock$ ) m$ival books ( all sorts1 be+ peculi>ly ri* 9 ar*ological1 hi/orical & !ological works1 b x seems to h /opp$ /ock+ new books ab\t #ahij4 ,! am\nt ( mod]n /uff 9 x is compos$ entirely ( books ( little value :i* h be5 pres5t$ to x4 ,!re is no sy/em on :i* books are b\ght at all3 ,i look$ 9 va9 = ,m]$i?1 ,swift1 ,hazlitt1 ,/ev5son1 or ,conrad1 to m5tion a few names at r&om4 ,!re are b few purely lit]>y works & boys are c]ta9ly n enc\rag$ to keep up ) ! newe/ ?\ght 9 philosophy1 poetry1 drama1 essays & s on4 ,only ! s5ior boys are all[$ to take books out2 ! bulk ( ! s*ool use ! build+ on ,sundays & !n only :5 x is wet4 ,!y r>ely read any?+ except contempor>y magaz9es4 ,"o ?+ t has pleas$ me ab\t my "w is t ,i h be5 put on to tea* hi/ory4 ,?is seems to me "o ( ! vitally important subjects4 ,dome/ic politics r ?an long descriptions ( =eign w>s1 h[ev]1 seem to me to be ! fir/ ess5tial4 ,i h tri$ to make my =ms realize ! cont9uity ( hi/ory1 its applicability to mod]n life1 s t !y may n be l$ a/ray by any illogical sophi/ries 9 unscrupul\s newspap]s4 ,i f9d t !y become really int]e/$ 9 ! hi/ory ( ! ,home ,rule "q1 ! beg9n+s ( ! w> betwe5 capital & lab\r1 electoral re=m1 ! dec5tralization ( gov]nm5t1 ! p[] ( ! ,cab9et1 ! ,cr[n1 ! ,h\se ( ,lords & ! ,commons4 ,i want to equip !m s t !y w be able really to =m _! own judgm5ts :5 !y gr[ up & n accept p>ty %ibbole?s & be at ! m]cy ( any witty sc\ndrel4 ,side by side ) ! hi/ory we read ! fam\s lit]>y works ( ! "t4 ,ea* boy 7,i did ?is at ,rad*e/]7 selects "o au?or or book & writes descriptive criticism on him & x1 :i* he aft]w>ds reads al\d1 & comm5ts are made by ! re/4 ,boys are a/oni%+ly poor debat]s1 !y _c articulate cle>ly3 ev5 :5 !y read al\d !y /amm] ov] all except ! simple/ words4 ,e night ( ! t]m ,i hold a volunt>y class = ,%akespe>e & drama-lov]s 9 g5]al3 ^! read+s ( plays w\ld g d[n inf9itely bett] if only boys knew h[ to pron\nce words1 h[ to get up ! mean+s ( passages1 or ev5 ! mean+ & use ( /ops4 ,"o w\ld ?9k t an educat$ boy ( sixte5 or sev5te5 w\ld really "k h[ to read1 b only 9 ! v r>e/ cases c he d s ) intellig5ce4 ,n[h]e is ?is m cle>ly %[n ?an 9 *apel1 :]e ! prefects ( ! week read ! lesson3 !y mumble ov] & spoil "s ( ! mo/ dramatic & poetic passages 9 ! ,bible4 ,x isn't ?r\gh lack ( rev]5ce or c>e b simply because !y h nev] be5 taught4 ,incid5tally !y h nev] be5 taught h[ to read to !mselves3 !y _c conc5trate on any?+ t requires ?\ght or h>d "w4 ,a %ort /ory 9 a magaz9e !y appreciate1 & good lit]ature !y c tol]ate :5 x is read al\d to !m by _! =m ma/]s2 b !y _c tackle any?+ solid by !mselves4 ,!y di/ru/ all /&>d au?ors z likely to be dull4 ,_! surprise :5 !y are introduc$ to su* a book z ,wu!r+ ,heights is indescribably comic4 ,9 ma!matics ,i /ill seem to h ! horrid trick ( go+ s fa/ t no "o le>ns any?+4 ,at any rate ,i int]e/ !m3 ,i wi% ,i c\ld get ! /uff to /ick 9 _! m9ds4 ,,xv ,janu>y #ac1 #aiad ,elspe? is n[ ) me at my fa!r's home & 9 b$ ) flu4 ,:ile we 7 !re ,i got an invitation f ,gregson's to write a book = !m on education1 s ,elspe? & ,i w5t /raight d[n to ,ba?1 & ,i %ut myself & wrote ,re=m 9 ,education 9 t5 days4 ,x am\nts to #ej1jjj words4 ,i f9d t ,i simply _c write sl[ly4 ,i />t to plan a ?+ out1 !n my bra9 refuses to take 9 any?+ except matt] = ! book4 ,i look on meals z a ne$less int]ruption4 ,i want to write all day & all night4 ,! ,,mss4 is n[ be+ typ$ = me1 & ,i am re/+1 by read+ novels & magaz9es1 play+ bridge & billi>ds ) my fa!r-9-law1 & alt]nately qu>rell+ & mak+ x up ) ,elspe?4 ,m>* #c1 #aiad ,!re h be5 endless r[s 9 ! s*ool ?is t]m & :olesale expulsions4 ,h\se-ma/]s are told all ab\t !m1 & ! re/ ( u kept 9 ignorance4 ,:at ! :ole body ( ! s*ool kn[s is hidd5 f u poor juniors4 ,on :at pr9ciple ,i wond]8 ,elspe? & ,i fight daily ov] books4 ,%e dislikes any pap]s1 magaz9es or books 9 ! draw+-room1 & ,i hate to see ! be/ room 9 ! h\se giv5 ov] to no?+ b clo!s 9 ! mak+4 ,hav+ sold "u compulsion all ! books t ,i s mu* valu$ ,i am n[ try+ to build up ano!r libr>y4 ,?is naturally co/s money1 b1 z ,i frequ5tly tell ,elspe?1 ,i c't get ideas to write ab\t unless ,i read a good deal4 ,my neura/h5ia has be5 s acute lately t ,i h _h to see ! s*ool doctor3 he wants me to g into a sort ( retreat = ! ,ea/] holidays alone4 ,i'd f> r die4 ,because ,i att5d$ e debate & dramatic read+ at ! ,s*ool ,debat+ ,society la/ t]m ,i h be5 elect$ presid5t4 ,we h _h debates on conscription1 ,lloyd ,george1 & classical & mod]n subjects4 ,i h br\ght up ! av]age att5dance f =ty to ab\t a hundr$4 ,i %all n be cont5t until we get ! majority ( ! s*ool to att5d4 ,^! debates1 etc41 take place 9 ,big ,s*ool on alt]nate ,saturday ev5+s f #g till #h4de4 ,t means d9n] at #f4cj1 :i* precludes ! possibility ( _m memb]s ( ,common ,room att5d+4 ,:5 ,i fir/ began to g ! meet+s 7 r disord]ly & riot\s1 & no "o c>$ mu* ab\t ! subject4 ,!re 7 long & awkw>d pauses1 b n[ we h manag$ to r\se a good deal ( opposition1 & p come ) v c>efully prep>$ spee*es1 & !re are less irrelevancies4 ,i h _h "o sev]e attack ( app5dicitis1 b x pass$ (f aft] a few h\rs4 ,( c\rse ! s*ool has _h ! usual diseases1 mumps & diph!ria4 ,! :ole t[n is d[n ) ! latt]3 x is said t ! wat] is bad1 ! milk is bad1 & ! sanit>y arrangem5ts m$ival4 ,x is really ! mo/ backw>d1 sleepy place ,i ev] came across4 ,! ,di/rict ,c\ncil fight among !mselves1 b nev] d any?+ = ! public weal4 ,mo/ ( ! memb]s are drap]s1 but*]s1 & bak]s1 & consid] no?+ b _! own int]e/s4 ,i h be5 elect$ to ! ,sunday ,aft]noon ,lit]>y ,society4 ,!re are eight boy memb]s & eight ma/]s4 ,we meet at #c4ae on alt]nate ,sunday aft]noons1 & a pap] is read = an h\r1 & aft]w>ds !re is tea4 ,?is society has be5 9 exi/5ce = fifty ye>s4 ,!re is nev] any discussion1 :i* is a great pity4 ,at ! end ( t]m a ,%akespe>e play is read4 ,! fir/ pap]s ,i he>d 7 on ,! ,s*oolma/] 9 ,lit]ature1 ,francis ,?ompson & ,kipl+1 & !y 7 all extremely int]e/+4 ,elspe? & ,i h d9$ ) v>i\s memb]s ( ! /aff4 ,!y give good d9n]s1 b ! conv]sation is n v ?rill+2 !y dislike any?+ out ( ! ord9>y2 !y nev] get ! "t to read1 & consequ5tly won't talk book-%op1 :i* ,i am beg9n+ to fe> is my only subject4 ,!y disapprove ( my beagl+ because x takes me away f ! games2 !y don't "k1 ( c\rse1 t ,i've be5 =bidd5 to play games4 ,z a matt] ( fact1 ,i frequ5tly ref]ee ! kids' games1 :i* are really amus+4 ,!y h a qua9t habit "h ( play+ all _! s*ool mat*es 9 ! ,*ri/mas t]m1 & all _! ,h\se mat*es ?is t]m4 ,+leby1 :o runs ! games1 is a passionate devotee ( ,rugg]1 & puts ! fe> ( ,god into e boy :o comes ne> him4 ,he is altoge!r delightful1 & has a mo/ *>m+ wife1 b he _c brook be+ cross$4 ,he dislikes & di/ru/s me because ,i said some:]e t ,i ?\ght games 7 ov]done at ! ,public ,s*ools4 ,8 belief is t games h be51 & are1 ! sav+ ( ,engl&1 ! "o out/&+ glory ( our national life4 ,to ?is idea he cl+s ?r\gh ?ick & ?91 & opposition to x only r\ses him to fury4 ,he has a /rong face1 & is "o ( ! giants "h4 ,8 influ5ce is enorm\s4 ,he is an ideal s*oolma/] ( ! old swa%buckl+ type2 he rules by fe> & ! rod2 all 8 boys love him almo/ z mu* z !y dread him2 he always looks z if he 7 go+ to knock any man d[n :o v5tur$ to disagree ) him4 ,i l him1 b ! devil t is 9 me always prompts me to get up aga9/ him2 he is a great /ickl] = conv5tion2 ! fir/ "t we cross$ swords 0 on a v m9ute po9t ( etiquette4 ,a boy 9 8 ,h\se1 :o is tak+ ! ,army exam41 want$ special coa*+ 9 ,engli%1 & s1 n be+ able to f9d any classroom vacant 9 :i* to take him ,i agre$ to visit him 9 8 /udy4 ,( c\rse ,i ought to h ask$ ,+leby's leave4 ,i =got1 & he got furi\sly angry4 ,"y up/>ts disreg>d+ rules ( a ?\s& ye>s' gr[?1 & s on4 ,i l my ,army class "w4 ,! ,engli% requir$ = ,s&hur/ & ,woolwi* is ( a v l[ /&>d1 b x is amus+4 ,^! g5]al que/ions1 prcis1 reproductions1 & s on1 give me a *ance ( introduc+ fav\rite passages f great au?ors1 & ,i try my h>de/ to make !m read = !mselves by runn+ a sort ( libr>y 9 my classroom4 ,i fill up all my vacant %elves ) likely books1 & j let !m help !mselves4 ,! wor/ ( x is t !y ne>ly always =get to br+ !m back4 ,i f9d ?is z exp5sive a hobby z hav+ boys cont9ually to tea at ,rad*e/] us$ to be4 ,my o!r ,engli% =m are prep>+ = ! ,london ,matriculation1 :i*1 z ?+s /&1 is ! be/ exam9ation 9 ,engli% t ,i "k4 ,i conc5trate all my p[]s on lit]ature4 ,i try to build up a coh]5t idea ( ! hi/ory ( ,engli% lit]ature all ?r\gh1 & mo/ ( ! boys respond to ! idea spl5didly4 ,! wor/ ( x is t !y come to me1 = ! mo/ "p1 desp]ately ignorant2 ?ree or f\r plays ( ,%akespe>e1 & ,%]idan & ,goldsmi? comprise _! :ole /ock ( k4 ,on ! o!r h&1 !re is a h&some prize aw>d$ annually 7#bj wor? ( books71 call$ ! ,c>fax1 = ! boy :o %[s ! be/ k on ,%akespe>e1 ?ree set au?ors1 & a g5]al pap] on all ! be/ au?ors f #ahjj to ! pres5t "t4 ,?is /imulates ! s5ior boys1 & 9 ?is1 ! ,l5t t]m1 e ye>1 "s tw5ty or ?irty boys really try to make up = ! lam5table defici5cy 9 ?is bran* ( _! education4 ,may #e1 #aiad ,i f9d t ,i am gett+ slack 9 writ+ up my di>y4 ,i don't q "k ! reason unless x is t happy is ! nation t has no hi/ory applies equally to individuals4 ,elspe? & ,i are gett+ on mu* bett]1 by fits & />ts4 ,we /ill qu>rel1 b m r>ely1 & only :5 ,i =get to %[ h] "s ( ^? little1 unrememb]$ acts ( k9dness & ( love :i* make s great a diff]5ce to life4 ,we _h "o wond]ful day at ! ,ox=d & ,cambridge ,sports1 :5 ,i introduc$ h] to all ! old ,ox=d gang4 ,%e 0 ?or\ghly 9 h] elem5t !re4 ,%e 0 n born to be a s*oolma/]'s wife4 ,%e ne$s gaiety1 amusem5t1 heaps ( fri5ds1 & an incessant r\nd ( y\?ful pleasures4 ,i wi% ,i c\ld get a job 9 ,london if only = h] sake4 ,%e gets v tir$ ( ! ev]la/+ topics ( conv]sation at ,m>lton1 bulbs & babies4 ,all true ,m>ltonians are ke5 g>d5]s1 & !y all h l>ge families4 ,i suppose f\r ye>s ( ,rad*e/] made me =get ! joys ( a g>d5 444 because really ! g>d5s ( ,m>lton are a joy = ev]2 app>5tly ! v r>e/ & mo/ delicate fl[]s w bloom 9 ,m>lton :5 !y w\ld die 9 any o!r soil 9 ,engl&4 ,z soon z ! holidays />t$ ,elspe? & ,i w5t to ,london 9 ord] t ,i might cont9ue to bomb>d ! editors & publi%]s ) copy4 ,!re wasn't mu* do+1 b we saw numb]s ( q excell5t plays4 ,i receiv$ a commission f ,godd>d's to edit a doz5 plays ( ,%akespe>e & o!r dramati/s = use 9 s*ools1 = :i* !y promis$ me #ej4 ,i didn't sp5d z mu* "t ov] !m z ,i c\ld h wi%$4 ,my old disease ( hurry made me write ,introductions :i* ,i ought to h done mu* bett]1 b my object 0 to say z little z possible & n to ov]burd5 ! juv5ile m9d ) a million unnecess>y notes4 ,x 0 an easily e>n$ #ej4 ,i f9i%$ my an?ology1 :i* ,i call$ ,a ,clu/] ( ,grapes1 & />t$ to produce a ,s*ool ,ma!matical ,c\rse1 :i* ,i ev5tually gave up because x bor$ me4 ,elspe? & ,i w5t z usual to ! po9t-to-po9t meet+s ?is ye>1 & ! ,ba? dances1 & ?or\ghly enjoy$ ourselves4 ,!re are /ill ! same old cliques to be se5 p>ad+ up & d[n ,milsom ,/reet1 weav+ petty sc&als ov] ! tea-table at ,=tt's1 girls becom+ engag$ & break+ x (f1 /range1 unacc\ntable w$d+s & /rang] divorces4 ,we are n[ look$ ^u z an old m>ri$ c\ple & no long] int]e/+4 ,july #ad1 #aiad ,?is has be5 a good summ] t]m2 x 0 pleasant to come f>!r s\? at ! beg9n+ ( ,may in/ead ( hav+ to cut oneself (f f all ! joys ( summ] by go+ to ,rad*e/]4 ,m>lton 9 ! summ] is exquisite3 ! t[n is j "o blaze ( col\r3 x is mu* too hot1 b luckily ,elspe? loves ! heat1 & ,i don't m9d x mu*4 ,besides !re is spl5did ba?+ 9 ! op5-air s*ool swimm+-ba?4 ,f9ancial affairs h be5 a con/ant ?orn 9 my fle%4 ,"h ,i get #bjj1 & on t ,i h to keep ,elspe?1 & a s]vant at #ah a ye>1 a h\se ! r5t ( :i* is #ce & ! taxes #ae4 ,i give h] #b a week on :i* to keep h\se1 & we sp5d money l wat] by travell+ 9 ! holidays4 ,wor/ ( all ,i am /ill pay+ (f old ,ox=d debts1 :i* drag u d[n /ill fur!r1 & my books & tobacco bill av]age ab\t #c a t]m4 ,all ! o!r ma/]s h private means & live l pr9ces4 ,i suppose we ought to economize by hav+ no p to /ay ) u1 b x w\ld be deadly = ,elspe? :ile ,i 0 9 s*ool if %e 0 always alone1 & ,i1 too1 l old fri5ds to talk to at night4 ,consequ5tly we are nev] free f visitors4 ,h] fa!r & "m & bro!rs & si/]s h all be5 d[n1 & sev]al old ,radca/rians1 includ+ ,jimmy ,haye & ,montague1 bo? ( :om love x4 ,i h _h ! luck to get ,tony's fir/ =ty poems1 t he %[$ up to me = "w at ,rad*e/]1 pr9t$ 9 a mon?ly review4 ,i am n[ wait+ to be op]at$ on = app5dicitis4 ,i am go+ into ! nurs+ home on ! #bg?1 z soon z ev] ,i h f9i%$ correct+ all my exams4 ,i am funk+ x horribly4 ,x w\ld be dreadful if ?is 7 to be ! end be=e ,i've really come to und]/& ,elspe? & treat h] z %e ought to be treat$4 ,i d s want also to write some?+ wor? writ+ be=e ,i die4 ,x's no good be+ morbid ov] x4 ,i only hope t ! tak+ out ( ?is (f5d+ memb] w mean ! eradication ( all uncleanness & (f5ce 9 me4 ,x ought to make me bett] temp]$1 m long-suff]+1 m lov+ & lovable1 & altoge!r m ,*ri/ian & *ivalr\s4 ,i read a pap] to ! ,sunday ,aft]noon ,society on ,! ,pr$ecessors ( ,%akespe>e2 z usual ,i prep>$ x too ha/ily4 ,i _h f> too mu* to say to get ?r\gh x 9 an h\r4 ,be=e ,i knew ab\t my op]ation ,i _h accept$ an invitation to lecture at ,/rat=d-on-,avon on ! tea*+ ( ,engli%4 ,^! summ] conf]5ces are extraord9>ily good ?+s1 & "o le>ns heaps ( tips ab\t h[ to tackle a subject 9 ! prop] way4 ,i /ill g on exp]im5t+ ) my =m4 ,i h no reason to be displeas$ ) _! progress 9 lit]ature4 ,i h _h q a numb] ( orig9al pieces ( "w %[n up4 ,i h got to "k two boys 9 p>ticul> v well4 ,e week !y read pap]s to me on any subject1 & we sit r\nd a s*oolh\se /udy table & argue4 ,!y are z diff]5t z possible f ea* o!r4 ,"o is a brusque1 q clev]1 v a?letic lov] ( s5su\s poetry2 he p9s 8 fai? to ,byron1 ,sw9burne1 ,rossetti1 ,william ,morris1 ,edw>d ,d[son1 & ,ar?ur ,symons2 8 "n is ,o',d[d4 ,! o!r1 ,raynes1 is a quiet1 demure s*ol>1 :o does n get on v well 9 8 ,h\se2 8 passion is ,m]$i?4 ,i get m pleasure out ( ^! two ?an out ( any o!r boys 9 ! s*ool4 ,by f> ! rott5e/ ?+ ,i h to d is private tuition4 ,?is means tak+ two or ?ree v backw>d boys1 usually 9 ma!matics1 = an h\r ?ree times a week4 ,= ?is we get extra pay1 #b #bs4 = ea* boy6 ,t is six gu9eas = ?irty-n9e h\rs' "w4 ,:]eas ,i h be=e n[ got six gu9eas = an article :i* hasn't tak5 me m ?an ?irty-n9e m9utes4 ,i grudge ! "t ,i h to devote to ^! boys m ?an ,i c say2 !y "k no?+1 !y nev] w "k any?+1 !y don't want to "k any?+4 ,& yet "o c't refuse to take !m because e p5ny is important4 ,we h "o great function "h 9 ! summ] t]m be=e :i* ev]y?+ else fades1 & t is ,spee* ,day4 ,?is consi/s ( a wond]ful s]vice 9 ! ,priory1 !n we g to ,big ,s*ool1 :]e prizew9n]s read _! pap]s1 prizes are aw>d$1 & spee*es are made & l>ge lun*eon-p>ties are giv5 9 ea* ,h\se-ma/]'s h\se4 ,! va/ conc\rse !n w&]s sl[ly d[n to ! fields to wat* ! old boys' cricket mat*1 & at night !re is a s*ool conc]t4 ,! music "h is _w-fam\s4 ,! s*ool conc]ts are magnific5tly done4 ,we h a l>ge album ( s*ool songs1 & selections are tak5 f ^!1 & !re is usually "s oratorio or cantata4 ,! fe/ivities leave "o slightly limp1 & !re is n mu* "w done dur+ ! re/ ( ! t]m4 ,! mo/ surpris+ feature ab\t x all to me 0 ! comp>ison betwe5 ! ,rad*e/] ,spee* ,day & ! ,m>lton ,spee* ,day4 ,! ,rad*e/] p>5t 0 a sight = ! gods2 he 0 always weal?y1 ne>ly always possess$ ( a di/9ct acc5t1 & wore clo!s to mat*2 he 0 he>ty1 bluff1 & a good fell[2 8 wom5folk gave me no pleasure4 ,at ,m>lton ! p>5ts seem$ to be ! salt ( ! e>?2 !y 7 all ari/ocrats 9 "n if n 9 money4 ,! majority ( !m are p>sons & soldi]s1 & practically to a man old ,m>ltonians4 ,loyalty to 8 s*ool is ! "o %9+ *>act]i/ic ( ! ,m>ltonian2 to !m !re is simply no o!r ,public ,s*ool 9 ,engl&4 ,i don't wond]2 ! boys are p]fectly happy4 ,!y live seclud$ f ! rott5 side ( ! _w 9 a valley :i* takes ! brea? away = %e] lovel9ess4 ,!y h a great tradition ext5d+ f ! d>k ages4 ,!re is a say+ t no matt] :]e he is or 9 :at circum/ances an old ,m>ltonian c be detect$ at once by 8 g5iality1 8 good-bre$+1 8 entire abs5ce ( side1 & s(t1 sl[1 lazy way ( speak+4 ,quietly & insidi\sly ! place is beg9n+ to take hold ( me4 ,!re is no d\bt :atev] t ,i enjoy life mu* m ?an ,i us$ to2 ,i am beg9n+ to obs]ve beautiful ?+s1 nature p>ticul>ly4 ,i f9d myself /&+ /ock-/ill look+ at ! cl\ds rac+ pa/ ! moon on a cle> night beh9d ! ,priory2 ! lilac & laburnum ?rill me l an exquisite melody2 ! gre5 ( ! fields1 ! ?ickly leav$ trees1 fl[]s 9 a g>d51 all sorts ( ?+s t didn't seem to me to matt] mu* are n[ becom+ ineffably preci\s4 ,! lights 9 ! s*oolh\se /udies late at night1 se5 z "o crosses ! c\rt on ! way home f s*ool & *apel1 are amaz+ly beautiful & peaceful4 ,july #bd1 #aiad ,"h ,i am on ! eve ( be+ op]at$ on4 ,i wi% x c\ld be po/pon$ = a bit4 ,!re seems to be ! *ance ( civil w> 9 ,irel&1 & ! r[ 9 ! ,balkans looks l spread+4 ,elspe? & ,i are ?9k+ ( go+ to ,scotl& :5 ,i am convalesc5t1 b ,i %\ld l to cross ov] to ,irel& & see really :at is happ5+4 ,we really h treat$ ,irel& ?r\gh\t ! ages damnably4 ,i wond] :at w come ( x all4 ,i h f9i%$ correct+ all my exam9ation pap]s1 & done my reports1 add$ up my m>ks1 & n[ all is ov]4 ,elspe? has be5 k9dness itself to me lately2 !re is no d\bt ( ! dep? ( our love = ea* o!r4 ,i h be5 mak+ a w1 :i* seems silly because ,i don't leave mu*2 ab\t #aej wor? ( debts1 & #ajjj to pay !m ) f my insurance4 ,( c\rse !re'll be ! furniture1 b t's n mu* ( an heirloom4 ,i h _h sev]al horrible qualms ab\t dea?1 b1 good heav5s6 x's no good worry+4 ,i wond] :e!r ,elspe? w m>ry aga94 ,aft] all1 x won't matt] to me :5 ,i'm gone4 ,?is is a silly way to talk4 ,?is has be5 a rott5 day4 ,i h said good-bye to a few boys1 pack$ up :at ,i %all want = ! nurs+ home1 a volume ( ,*e/]ton & a volume ( ,/ev5son4 ,i bicycl$ up to ! golf l9ks to say good-bye to ! c\ntry t ,i h n[ s le>nt to love2 & aft] tea1 9 a b[l] hat & go+-away suit & suit-case1 ,i walk$ up to ! nurs+ home4 ,x's a rott5 game do+ all ?is 9 cold blood4 ,elspe? /ay$ ) me 9 my room1 :i* is clean1 com=table1 & faces s\?1 until ! nurse turn$ h] out4 ,i am n[ left alone1 & ,elspe? isn't to be all[$ to see me until aft] ! op]ation4 ,x 0 agoniz+ p>t+ f h]1 & ,i dread ! night4 ,i hav5't slept = a v long "t dec5tly1 & ,i c]ta9ly don't expect to to-night4 ,i've be5 all[$ z a special concession to f9i% writ+ up my di>y to date4 ,x seems all v futile n[4 ,i've made jolly little ( my life4 ,i've lov$ a few boys1 taught a few ( !m some?+1 taught a great _m no?+4 ,i h irritat$ "s v good p by giv+ publicity to ill-consid]$ judgm5ts1 & ,i h giv5 ( my all to "o girl2 ,i live 9 & = & by ,elspe? alone4 ,%e is ! :ole ( life to me4 ,god grant t we may be sp>$ to "o ano!r & le>n to be truly & always happy toge!r4 ,,xvi ,septemb] #ag1 #aiad ,ev5 n[ ,i c't realize x3 ,i w5t into t nurs+ home on a beautiful peaceful ev5+ 9 ,july ) no?+ m important to worry ab\t ?an my silly old app5dix1 & someh[ :ile ,i 0 ly+ l[ & n worry+ ! entire _w seems to h *ang$4 ,i came 9 ?9k+ t x might be excit+ to g to ,irel&1 because !re 0 a *ance ( a slight scrap1 & ,i come out & f9d ! :ole _w 9 a dea?-/ruggle4 ,x is l "s hide\s nightm>e4 ,i suppose w> mu/ h come ^u mo/ p z a surprise1 a bomb-%ell1 b = me x has come z all "p ( ano!r exi/5ce4 ,my life is n[ divid$ into two p>ts1 be=e ,i w5t into ! nurs+ home1 & aft]4 ,i 0 op]at$ on q successfully1 ?\gh ! doctor took two h\rs to cut out my app5dix & ,i recov]$ fairly quickly1 ?\gh ,i q made up my m9d t ,i 0 at ! po9t ( dea? h\rly4 ,my fa!r & "m came d[n to see me & 7 awfully good1 b ,elspe? aft] a few days took a holiday because %e 0 s run d[n4 ,i felt mis]able )\t h]1 b %e 0 q "r to g4 ,i mu/ h be5 gett+ on h] n]ves badly4 ,! fir/ news ,i got ab\t ! w> 0 on a c]ta9 morn+ :5 ,i look$ out ( my w9d[ & saw 9 ! place :]e ,i expect$ to see ! summ] circus a :ole troop ( yeomanry & _! horses4 ,!n my doctor w5t away to jo9 up4 ,i _h to lie 9 b$ & he> ! mo/ amaz+ /ories4 ,fir/ ! banks all clos$ d[n & ev]ybody ?\ght t !re 0 go+ to be no money1 !n p began to fill _! cell>s ) food/uffs1 !n day aft] day came m horrible news ( disa/]s1 ( ,g]many break+ ?r\gh ,mons & ov]runn+ ,belgium1 ( ! wond]ful def5ce put up by ! h&ful ( ,engli% troops2 gradually x seem$ z if ! w> 0 already ov]1 t ,p>is w\ld fall & ,engl& be invad$4 ,horrible /ories ( atrocities 9 ,belgium ,i c't und]/&4 ,all ! ,g]mans ,i've kn[n 7 de> old ,ko5ig at ,rad*e/]1 fat old bald-head$ t\ri/s at ,lynton1 sweat+ horribly z !y climb$ ! hills beh9d ! coa*1 & ?ree ripp+ flapp]s at ,ox=d ye>s ago4 ,someh[ ,i _h nev] imag9$ su* a w> z ?is to be possible4 ,i rememb] n[ t night at ,rad*e/] ?ree ye>s ago :5 t ,w> ,(fice man came d[n & implor$ u to make ! ,o4,t4,c4 z sm>t z we c\ld because we %\ld be ne$$ 9 a few ye>s4 ,i _h pl5ty ( "t ly+ on my back = ?ree weeks 9 t nurs+ home to ?9k x all out4 ,i _h heaps ( visitors br++ fl[]s & fruit & pap]s1 b ,i 0 re/less & mis]able none ! less4 ,z soon z ,i 0 able ,i w5t up to ,ba? & took ,elspe? to ,ilfracombe3 !re ,i he>d ,hemm]de call+ = recruits--x 0 j l ,amyas ,leigh ask+ = ano!r g5]ation ( ,devon lads to help to beat ! ,spani>ds4 ,all ! same x's diff]5t n[4 ,all ! glam\r & glory ( w> seem to h gone = ev]3 ?is is simply horrible1 a massacre by ma*9]y4 ,p]haps my m9d is n attun$ to x4 ,i am /ill v weak1 b ! :ole bus9ess seems prepo/]\s4 ,we w5t d[n to ,portsm\? to see "s fri5ds :o _h j jo9$ up & we saw ! troop%ips1 ! se>*lights at night1 ! coa/ def5ces1 ! tra9s full ( *e]+ soldi]s1 ! /reets full ( raw recruits4 ,we w5t on to ,london & !re 7 po/]s l adv]tisem5ts = soap implor+ e man to jo9 up & save 8 c\ntry4 ,girls pres5t$ :ite fea!rs to any "o 9 mufti1 p 9 tra9s inv>iably ask$ ea* o!r fi]cely :y !y w]5't 9 khaki4 ,by f> ! mo/ viol5t ( ^! int]rogators 7 peaceful-look+ old ladies & "y1 heal?y p>sons4 ,i w5t d[n to ,hampton ,c\rt to /ay ) ,tony1 :o1 ( c\rse1 has gone into ! ,army4 ,all ,rad*e/] 0 9 camp at ,ald]%ot :5 w> broke out & ! entire s*ool w5t en bloc to try to enli/4 ,^? :o 7 refus$ are cry+ ) ang] at ! ?\ght t !y w h to g back to ,rad*e/] next t]m4 ,!re 0 "s talk ( ! s*ools all be+ clos$ d[n4 ,all ! "y ma/]s on ! /aff at ,m>lton h gone1 & e boy ( eighte5 & ov] & _m a good deal y\ng]4 ,!y ne$n't compla9 t ! ,public ,s*ools ar5't do+ _! "p4 ,e s+le fit man 9 !m jo9$ at once4 ,i wi% ,i hadn't _h my app5dix out3 !n ,i c\ld h gone4 ,elspe? says ,i c\ldn't1 because ( my incipi5t madness4 ,i bet ,i w\ld1 ?\gh x w\ld h be5 ,hell to h left h]4 ,h[ ,i %\ld h glori$ 9 ?is w> be=e ,i became engag$4 ,all ! ,radca/rians are greatly buck$ ab\t x4 ,at la/ adv5ture has come to !m ) arms full4 ,novemb] #aj1 #aiad ,j :5 ,i ought to keep up my di>y m accurately ?an ev] ,i leave x = weeks4 ,x's no good putt+ 9 all ! news ab\t ! w>3 t is all se>$ into my s\l4 ,^! ?ree mon?s h se5 ! dea?s ( all ! m5 :o seem$ to me to matt] :5 ,i 0 at ,ox=d4 ,all ! m5 ( my age 7 kill$ (f at once3 !y got out at ! beg9n+4 ,f ! o!r side !y tell me x's j an endless l9e ( blood & mud1 p]iods ( int5se bor$om reliev$ by mom5ts ( fe>ful fright4 ,e "o ?\ght 9 ,augu/ t x w\ld be all ov] by ,*ri/mas4 ,kit*5] gives x ?ree ye>s4 ,my ,god6 !re'd be no ,engl& left aft] ?ree ye>s4 ,i w5t up to ,london to lecture on ! tea*+ ( ,engli% & f\nd ! /reets all d>k5$1 :i* makes ! t[n incr$ibly beautiful & e]ie4 ,i suppose ! idea is to br+ ! w> home to u m closely4 ,?is t]m has be5 altoge!r /range4 ,we are *a/5$ & q diff]5t4 ,"y boys are n[ prefects1 heads ( ,h\ses1 capta9s ( games3 ! ,corps has ou/$ a?letics4 ,x seems wrong to be *as+ up & d[n a ,rugg] field :ile our bro!rs & de>e/ fri5ds are be+ kill$ )9 a few hundr$ miles4 ,we h done an amaz+ am\nt ( ,corps "w ?is t]m3 ev]ybody is z ke5 z mu/>d to make himself really fit4 ,boys are read+ _! ,/onewall ,jackson1 & ,hak+1 & ,john ,bu*an1 & ev]y?+ t !y c lay _! h&s on to in=m !mselves ( :at is go+ on across ! ,*annel & h[ !y %all be/ occupy _! "t "h 9 prep>ation4 ,by a v qua9t irony1 = ! fir/ "t 9 my life ,i h notic$ t boys are becom+ really anxi\s to le>n4 ,someh[ intellectual pursuits seem to be wor? /riv+ aft]3 !re is a p]ceptible wi% 9 e boy's m9d to explore ! g>n]-h\se ( wisdom4 ,nev] h ,i felt t ! s*oolma/]'s job 0 s important z ,i d n[4 ,_m ( ^! boys w1 please ,god1 n h to fight1 b !y w all h to take an active "p 9 ! recon/ruction ( ,engl&4 ,e h\r ( e day we %all h to keep be=e !m ! ideals :i* we mean to see put into practice by ! next g5]ation4 ,la/ ye> we 7 9 dang] ( gett+ sloppy3 we 7 too ri*1 we 7 *as+ aft] e k9d ( new pleasure1 n a ?\ght 0 giv5 to ! myriad problems ( capital & lab\r1 ( pov]ty1 ( h\s+1 ( heal?1 ( education4 ,we are all try+ our be/ at la/ to see :i* ( u c d ! mo/ = ! sake ( ,engl&3 ! "n didn't mean mu* to u s long z %e 0 safe2 n[ t %e is 9 deadly p]il we are beg9n+ to realize all t %e is to u4 ,our new activity 9 ! ,corps is a beg9n+3 we are drill+1 digg+1 sc\t+1 signall+1 lectur+1 bomb+1 bridge-build+1 range-f9d+1 entr5*+--le>n+ up tactics & /rategy4 ,s f> z actual milit>y skill is conc]n$ we are do+ our be/1 b !re is an enorm\s am\nt ( leeway to be made up 9 o!r dep>tm5ts ( life4 ,= "o ?+1 ,i believe ! s*ool is f> m dev\t ?an x 04 ,suff]+ has s5t u back to ! ,cross4 ,we h weekly ,int]cession ,s]vices = our old boys4 ,^! are volunt>y1 b v few boys abs5t !mselves4 ,our prea*]s seem almo/ inspir$4 ,x mu/ be mu* easi] to prea* n[ ?an x us$ to be3 we are all only too anxi\s to "k :at to d3 ,"h am ,i1 s5d me is ! cry ( e "o 9 *apel4 ,our religion is a mu* m vital ?+ ?an x ev] us$ to be4 ,we are all work+ at top spe$ all ! "t4 ,i only hope we don't break d[n z ! newspap]s h4 ,e "o ( ! pap]s except ! ,daily ,telegraph has lo/ its head n once nor twice s9ce w> broke out4 ,x is almo/ pa9ful to read ! lead+ articles at pres5t4 ,!y blame ev]ybody 9 au?ority = failure to cope ) ! pres5t situation4 ,h[ ! ,g]man ,press mu/ gloat4 ,9 ! place ( ! "y m5 :o h left u we h _h to employ v old m51 :o are = ! mo/ "p extraord9>ily g5ial & take to ! "w z a tr\t to wat]4 ,n all ( !m1 alas1 h be5 successful4 ,boys /ill rag a man :o is incompet5t1 & !y h little respect = age1 b on ! :ole ^! old m5 h fall5 into l9e f> bett] ?an any "o w\ld h dreamt possible4 ,decemb] #ac1 #aiad ,our fir/ t]m ( w> is ne>ly ov]4 ,x has be5 a /range1 unreal sort ( life4 ,e day "s fre% disa/] befalls u 9 ! %ape ( casualties4 ,e week "s boys come back1 heal?y1 h&some & extraord9>ily gr[n-up 9 _! (fic]s' uni=ms3 we at s*ool seem to be settl+ d[n to play our "p4 ,! (fic]s ( ! ,o4,t4,c4 h be5 told to c>ry on :]e !y are1 t ! "w !y are do+ is invaluable3 s we cont5t ourselves ) t1 ?\gh x seems v little4 ,we h _h a naval victory at ! ,heligol& ,bight1 & a defeat & a victory (f ! coa/ ( ,s\? ,am]ica4 ,! ,g]mans advance no m 9 ,france1 ! :ole _w seems to be prep>+ to rise 9 arms on ! slighte/ provocation4 ,e week ,horatio ,bottomley & ,belloc expla9 to u t ! end is 9 sight & ! ,nor?cliffe ,press tells u t we c nev] w9 b %all wage an age-long w>4 ,we hope ! "o & fe> ! o!r--& c>ry on4 ,x is a /range ?+1 b ! beg9n+ ( w> :i* ,i expect$ w\ld qua% all *ance ( writ+ has se5 ! beg9n+ ( my success4 ,blackwood's1 ! ,contempor>y & ! ,national ,review h all pr9t$ articles ( m9e1 & ,i am writ+ z mu* z ,i c1 spurr$ on by ?is undreamt-( piece ( luck4 ,al?\gh x is a "t ( w> & full ( horrors ! t]m pass$ v quickly inde$4 ,elspe? & ,i are n[ absolutely unit$4 ,h] fa!r has gone out to ,egypt ) a /aff appo9tm5t1 h] "m is /ill 9 ,ba?1 bo? h] bro!rs are out 9 ,france4 ,all ent]ta9m5ts at ,m>lton h sudd5ly ceas$4 ,!re are no m d9n]-p>ties1 no m ,h\se supp]s1 s*ool mat*es 7 all scrat*$ ?is t]m1 & ! p 9 ! t[n no long] play bridge4 ,we are rapidly becom+ a sob]] p & our ef=ts are direct$ to "o object only1 ! w9n+ ( ! w>4 ,yet ! /range ?+ is t s _m ?+s g on j z usual4 ,p seem to h any am\nt ( money1 ! %ops adv]tise ! same old extravagant useless ?+s2 dances1 !atres1 horse-rac+1 football mat*es /ill cont9ue--!re is no lack ( ^! ?+s any m ?an !re 0 dur+ ! ,bo] ,w>4 ,p]haps we are le>n+ to d )\t gradually4 ,x mu/ be diff]5t 9 ,france & ,belgium4 ,i %all nev] =get my fir/ sight ( ,belgian refugees & w\nd$ soldi]s arriv+ at ,m>lton /ation4 ,someh[ we don't1 we c't realize ! horror ( x 9 ?is peaceful valley1 b ! tragic faces ( ^! tortur$1 homeless wom5 p5etrates at "o fla% into ! v he>t4 ,all ! gay1 irresponsible wom5 :o la/ ,july sp5t _! days on ! polo gr\nd n[ vie ) "o ano!r 9 provid+ homes = ! ,belgians & hospitals = ! w\nd$4 ,girls :o 7 accu/om$ to d no?+ m ardu\s ?an hunt or take ! spaniels = a walk n[ nurse ?r\gh ! night1 scrub floors1 act z kit*5maids1 drive motor-vans & g5]ally c>ry on ! "w t is left = !m to d4 ,s _m ( !m h husb&s or bro!rs fight+ t !y w\ld g mad ) brood+ too mu* if !y 7 n work+ e h\r ( e day4 ,!re may be a few :o are /ill unt\*$ by ! w>1 b !re are c]ta9ly none 9 ,m>lton4 ,boys :o left at ! end ( la/ t]m h already come back decorat$ ) ! ,milit>y ,cross4 ,lett]s rea* me f all p>ts ( ! globe f old boys ( ,rad*e/] :o are sail+ to fight 9 "s region ,i nev] he>d ( be=e ! w>4 ,& all ! "t we try to pres]ve ! _s t has made ,engl& great "h at home 9 ,m>lton4 ,x us$ to seem some?+ ( a backwat] be=e ! w>--h[ mu* m is x "o n[3 ! milkm5 & ! f>m lab\r]s1 ! %op assi/ants1 & ! railway port]s :o _h nev] be5 f>!r afield ?an ,exet] are n[ 9 ,egypt1 ,malta1 ,india1 ,france1 all ov] ! globe4 ,:at a wid5+ ( exp]i5ce1 :at books w be writt5 :5 x is all ov]4 ,= ! la/ ye> we h ?\ght ( no?+ b ! wond]ful adv5tures ( ,capta9 ,scott & 8 fell[-adv5tur]s 9 _! que/ = ! ,s\? ,pole4 ,comm&] ,evans came to ,m>lton & lectur$ to u ab\t ! h]oic dea? ( ,capta9 ,oates3 we 7 all swept (f our feet ) en?usiasm b no "o 9 ! hall ev] dreamt t he w\ld be call$ ^u to emulate su* a de$1 & yet n[ daily1 h\rly1 t feat is be+ rivall$4 ,s long z !re are any m5 left 9 ?is c\ntry !re is no ne$ to fe> t we %all lack = h]oes4 ,boys1 :o :5 !y 7 at s*ool 7 look$ ^u z feckless funks1 h p]=m$ valor\s exploits1 :i* any "o rememb]+ _! s*ool days w\ld h reg>d$ z absolutely beyond ! b\nds ( belief4 ,janu>y #bj1 #aiae ,i get he>tily sick ( ! holidays ^! days because !re is s little to d1 & ,i hate to see all my pals tra9+ :ile ,i am do+ no?+ at all4 ,s*oolma/]+ seems s dull1 b !re is no d\bt :]e "o's duty lies4 ,april #ae1 #aiae ,i h n[ f9i%$ a second t]m at ,m>lton "u w> conditions4 ,i f9d t ! w> has br\ght u clos] toge!r1 ma/]s & boys alike4 ,we h _h lectures f w\nd$ soldi]s on ! campaign 9 diff]5t p>ts ( ! globe4 ,! ,corps is m fl\ri%+ ?an ev]4 ,our fav\rite amusem5t n[ is ! night-attack1 :i* is ne>] ! real ?+ ?an any?+ else we d4 ,i w5t d[n to a depot ! o!r day to get "s tips & saw "s fir/-rate signall+1 ! ,lewis gun1 & "s bomb+ practice4 ,poor ,elspe? ab\t half-way ?r\gh ! t]m compla9$ to me "o day t %e felt too rott5 to keep "s engagem5t t %e 0 due = & ,i fet*$ ! doctor mu* aga9/ h] w1 & to my horror he told me t %e _h app5dicitis & mu/ be op]at$ on imm$iately4 ,we took h] ov] to ,lewes & put h] into a nurs+ home1 & ,i left h] !re late "o night aft] a la/ passionate embrace & 0 tak5 ov] by ,le>y ! next day 9 8 side-c> to he> ! result ( ! op]ation & 0 told t %e _h come ?r\gh x all "r4 ,i %all nev] =get ! agony ( wait+ to he> ! v]dict4 ,i made ,le>y motor me at t]rific spe$ half across ,sussex to keep my m9d f dwell+ too insi/5tly on x4 ,h] he>t is weak & %e ne>ly w5t "u1 b ?ank ,god %e pull$ ?r\gh 9 ! end1 al?\gh %e 0 v weak = a long "t aft]4 ,my life alone dur+ h] illness ,i c't dwell ^u3 x 0 altoge!r too horrible4 ,i roam$ ab\t ! c\ntryside absolutely disconsolate4 ,i h no use = life at all )\t h]4 ,e day z soon z "w 0 ov] ,i pu%-bik$ ! eight miles into ,lewes to see h] & talk = a little1 !n cycl$ home aga9 to my lonely cottage4 ,i 0 ne>] dem5tia !n ?an ,i h ev] be54 ,i h got to "k m ( ! boys 9 ! s*ool ?is la/ t]m4 ,!y are a wond]fully f9e lot1 p>ticul>ly ,o',d[d & ,raynes1 :o /ill write weekly essays = me & discuss lit]>y problems4 ,i tri$ to act ,! ,y\ng] ,g5]ation 9 my ,debat+ ,society1 b ! idea 0 qua%$ by ! ,c5sor4 ,i h alt]$ ! old sy/em ( read+ r\nd a table & sub/itut$ a mu* m effective plan4 ,we n[ read 9 ,big ,s*ool f ! plat=m /&+ up1 ) action & dresses complete4 ,in/ead ( ea* individual memb] hav+ to buy copies ( ! play ,i h n[ b\ght numb]s ( copies & =m$ a libr>y ^u :i* any memb] ( ! s*ool may draw j z he likes4 ,we h _h "o or two /range tempor>y ma/]s4 ,"o1 an eld]ly s*ol>1 _h an ecc5tric habit ( always se>*+ ! bottoms ( "o's tr\s]s = mat*es3 he _h once he>d ( a man be+ burnt alive t way & 0 9 a cont9ual fright le/ x %\ld happ5 to "s "o :om he knew4 ,we h got a new ,six? ,=m tutor1 a fell[ ( ,que5's1 ,ox=d1 :o has become a firm fri5d ( m9e4 ,he is1 l mo/ ( my colleagues1 v well (f & has furni%$ himself ) a spl5did libr>y :i* he all[s me to use4 ,i h done a good deal ( writ+ & mu* read+3 my books are co/+ me less because ,i am do+ a good deal ( review+ = ! ,london pap]s4 ,"o ( ! /range/ effects ( ! w> up to n[ has be5 its result ^u ! _w ( pap]s & books4 ,pap] is v exp5sive & !re is great difficulty 9 gett+ ,,mss4 pr9t$ & b\nd1 b p are all buy+ books 9 great numb]s1 p>ticul>ly poetry & fiction4 ,ow+ to my own small] successes ,i h receiv$ invitations to meet & to /ay ) "s ( ! lead+ writ]s ( ! day1 :i* ne$less to say ,i h accept$1 ?\gh if ,i g ,i %all h to g )\t ,elspe?1 = z soon z x 0 possible we took h] by c> f ! nurs+ home 9 ,lewes all ! way to h] home at ,ba?1 :]e ! doctor says %e mu/ /ay = "s mon?s4 ,i c't face next t]m )\t h]3 ,i don't "k :at ,i %all d & yet ,i _c consci5ti\sly expect h] to come back to me until %e is q fit to look aft] ! h\se aga94 ,at pres5t %e is recov]+ v sl[ly & looks dreadfully weak & ?94 ,may #d1 #aiae ,:5 ! t]m 0 ov] ,i did g r\nd to ! v>i\s h\ses to :i* ,i _h be5 invit$ & met ! que]e/ p4 ,i 0 n]v\s & irritable )\t ,elspe? & nev] /ay$ m ?an a night or two 9 any "o h\se & kept on ru%+ back to see h[ ,elspe? 0 gett+ on4 ,^! ,ea/] holidays h be5 r nightm>i% because ( ,elspe?'s illness4 ,i c\ld n settle d[n to any?+1 & ( c\rse we c\ld n g out mu* because %e c\ld n walk4 ,on ! o!r h&1 = "s reason ,i 0 unable to conc5trate my att5tion on writ+4 ,ev]y?+ 0 9 a /ate ( blur ow+ to ! %ock ,i su/a9$ at h] op]ation4 ,9 "s degree la/ t]m 0 l ! same t]m two ye>s ago :5 ,i 0 engag$4 ,i tri$ to hurl myself into my "w3 ,i ref]e$ on & coa*$ ! junior games1 ,i devis$ all sorts ( s*emes to int]e/ my boys 9 ,engli%1 ,i _h boys up to tea to remove "s ( my lonel9ess1 b ,i 0 gradually go+ out ( my m9d because ,i _h no ,elspe? by me to soo! me4 ,& all ! "t ! w> has be5 weigh+ v heavily ^u me4 ,! wa/e ( ! fl[] ( ?is c\ntry is frightful4 ,on ,april #bc "y ,rup]t ,brooke di$1 & we h lo/ ! premi] poet ( ! age be=e he _h _h ! *ance to transmit a qu>t] ( ! spl5did ?+s t 7 burn+ inside him4 ,someh[ ,i feel 8 loss m ?an t ( any "o ,i h kn[n4 ,,xvii ,july #ca1 #aiae ,?is t]m has be5 ! wor/ 9 my recollection4 ,elspe? 0 n all[$ to come back at ! beg9n+ ( t]m because %e 0 n able to cope ) ! h\sework1 s ,i ?\ght to compromise by go+ up to ,ba? e week-end to see h]4 ,i did ?is1 b ! five days betwe5 ea* visit became s gha/ly t ,i c\ld n face !m4 ,i begg$ h] to come back at all co/s to save my bra94 ,%e did s = a few weeks1 to h] "m's int5se indignation & h] own no little wra?4 ,bo? ( !m ?\ght x m]ely gross selfi%ness on my "p to dem& su* a ?+1 z ( c\rse 9 a s5se x 04 ,b ,i really 0 ill4 ,! local doctor c\ld d no?+ & s5t me up to a speciali/ 9 ,h>ley ,/reet1 :o told me to g to ! ,highl&s = ! :ole ( ! summ] holidays & take a complete re/4 ,i'm suff]+ f an ov]-active bra94 ,s to-morr[ we are to set (f = ! nor? ( ,scotl&4 ,?is t]m has pass$ unev5tfully en\gh s f> z ! s*ool is conc]n$4 ,i w5t to see ! ,bi%op ab\t be+ orda9$ & he welcom$ ! sugge/ion1 b ,i am /ill n cle> 9 my m9d ab\t x4 ,i h always _h a hank]+ aft] ! *ur*1 b ,i wond] if x is simply t ,i may f9d an excuse to prea*4 ,i "k ,i am always prea*+ 9 =m4 ,i sp5d ! :ole week prep>+ subjects = my ,sunday's div9ity lesson1 :i* is really a hot*-pot* ( ! week's ev5ts ) a moral tag app5d$4 ,i h wat*$ a few cricket mat*es & tri$ to rid myself ( my n]v\s behavi\r 9 front ( s5ior ma/]s4 ,i always behave 9 ,common ,room z if ,i 7 a small boy3 ,i h nev] be5 able to eradicate ! idea t ^! are my ma/]s :5ev] ,i meet !m4 ,9 my writ+s ,i am becom+ too critical1 b x is all r sup]ficial4 ,i "k t !re are grave abuses 9 ! ,public ,s*ool sy/em1 ?\gh ! w> swept away at lea/ half ( !m2 ,i also "k t ,i h a reputation "h ( indulg+ q indiscrim9ately 9 :olesale de/ructive diatribes3 ! zeal ( ?9e h\se ha? eat5 me up z !y say ( me4 ,i h n temp]$ my en?usiasm ) retic5ce or bridl$ my tongue sev]ely en\gh4 ,! result is t ,i h divid$ ! s*ool into two great factions1 ! loyali/s & ! sec$]s4 ,?is is :at my enemies lay to my *>ge4 ,i _c believe t my influ5ce c>ries any weight at all4 ,i am only a junior ma/] & ,i don't mix ) ! boys "h z ,i us$ to at ,rad*e/] = ! simple reason t ,i live too f> away f ! s*ool & t ,i h a wife4 ,! only p :o see mu* ( ! boys are ! ,h\se-ma/]s & ! ,h\se tutors4 ,! re/ ( u take a few sets1 control1 say1 a debat+ or natural hi/ory society or *oir1 p]haps are responsible = a =m1 & !re's an end ( our influ5ce4 ,by b[l+ at ! nets "o meets a few o!rs1 9 ! ,corps "o comes across two ,h\ses1 & ( c\rse ! s*ool prefects are kn[n to all ! /aff4 ,b !re is v little intimacy betwe5 boy & ma/]1 ?\gh su* relations are z mu* enc\rag$ "h z !y 7 disc\rag$ at ,rad*e/]4 ,a few ( my clos] fri5ds come up to borr[ books & /ay & talk sometimes1 o!rs aga9 come to he> ! gramophone or to play ! piano to me1 b ,i h all too few fri5ds among ! boys4 ,!re h be5 "o or two colossal r[s ?is t]m1 9 spite ( ! fact t we are at w>4 ,boy-nature seems to rema9 ! same 9 spite ( all--& n only boy-nature b adult nature1 = ev5 "h memb]s ( ,common ,room fight "o aga9/ ! o!r l tig]s :5 "o man infr+es on ano!r man's rights4 ,all ^! disputes h q petty beg9n+s1 b !y assume al>m+ proportions 9 a v %ort space ( "t4 ,i h be5 prea*+ ab\t ! dang]s ( ov]-a?leticism4 ,! consequ5ce is t !re is a blood-feud betwe5 ^? :o wor%ip at ! %r9e ( games & ^? :o ?9k t games %\ld be play$ m]ely z recreation4 ,?is has n[ become a "q ( ,h\ses4 ,!re are ,h\ses :]e ev]y?+ is put second to games & o!rs :]e games are put la/4 ,x is all r comic because x really means no?+ at all4 ,! :ole matt] is always j p]sonal4 ,!re are ,h\ses ) a tradition aga9/ tak+ ! ,corps s]i\sly3 !re are o!rs :]e !y ?9k ( no?+ else4 ,"o good sign ,i h notic$ ( late is ! resuscitation ( ,h\se ,debat+ & ,lit]>y ,societies4 ,boys debate among !mselves on all sorts ( s*ool topics1 int]nal politics2 ! _s ( criticism is abroad3 boys are beg9n+ to ?9k1 !re is hope = !m4 ,!re are1 h[ev]1 _m ma/]s :o tell me t boys ought n to ?9k3 !y ought to accept & n "q1 t to inculcate ! c>p+ _s is a malici\s practice4 ,i wond] h[ mu* ?is is true4 ,i /& & ev]yone kn[s x1 = ! cultivation ( ! /hetic & ! intellectual fir/1 j because 9 ! pa/ !y h be5 s despis$4 ,i am myself nei!r /hetic nor intellectual b ,i h a crav+ aft] ea*4 ,a?letics 9 !mselves _c satisfy ! inn] crav+s ( man3 he wants m n\ri%m5t ?an t4 ,i l to see ! s*ool magaz9e fill$ ) good s\nd articles ( g5]al int]e/ & poetry1 z well z acc\nts ( ! t]m's do+s4 ,i _c see :y ! latt] %\ld ou/ ! =m] any m ?an ! =m] %\ld supplant ! latt]4 ,i want fair deal+4 ,at pres5t !re is no fair deal+4 ,consequ5tly "s ( ! bright] spirits h produc$ magaz9es ( _! own1 satirical1 comic1 s]i\s1 any & e sort z a c\nt]bla/ to ! s*ool magaz9e4 ,^! illegitimate productions h a %ort life b a q m]ry "o4 ,!y create endless div]sion ow+ to ! fact t ! satire is too c>efully veil$ = any b ! v few to und]/& x2 p are set guess+ z to ! possible au?ors1 & !re is always a rum\r t ! pap] is ab\t to be suppress$4 ,!y %[ a sp>k ( hum\r1 :]eas ! legitimate magaz9e is always deadly s]i\s3 :5 x aims at hum\r1 z 9 its correspond5ce1 x only succe$s 9 be+ ineffably t$i\s & dull4 ,septemb] #bj1 #aiae ,we _h a wond]ful holiday 9 ,scotl&4 ,we w5t via ,ed9burgh to ,k+ussie1 :i* is 9 ,/ra?spey1 9 full view ( ! ,cairngorms2 ! sc5]y betwe5 ,blair ,a?oll & ,k+ussie is magnific5tly rugg$ & gr&4 ,k+ussie itself is a fair-siz$ village ( :ite-wa%$ h\ses ) two q excell5t hotels1 bo? "u ! same managem5t4 ,we *ose ! *eap] & _h ! luck to h ! run ( ! o!r4 ,f ! v fir/ we made fri5ds4 ,by a /range *ance two ( ! *e]ie/ & mo/ typical ( ! be/ sort ( ,m>ltonians happ5$ to be up !re & we w5t = _m excursions toge!r1 ba?+ 9 lo*s & burns & climb+ cairns4 ,act+ on my speciali/'s advice ,i began to take up golf & became imm$iately seiz$ ) a mania4 ,be=e we left ,i 0 play+ ?irty-six holes a day4 ,! golf-c\rse at ,k+ussie is "r up ! m\nta9side & is truly haz>d\s & sport+4 ,!re 7 cr[ds ( visitors1 all ( !m z m]ry z c\ld be4 ,except = a few m5 9 kilts & tra9s full ( sailors pass+ ?r\gh1 "o w\ld nev] h believ$ t we 7 a nation at w>4 ,e sort ( p]son came & /ay$ at our hotel dur+ ! eight weeks t we 7 !re1 f ,mr4 ,asqui? & ,mr4 ,mc,kenna to ! mo/ a/\nd+ly vulg> %opkeep]s f ,dundee & ,glasg[4 ,! wond]ful fre% air soon br\ght col\r to ,elspe?'s *eeks & %e began to take ex]cise & climb "s ( ! peaks ne> by ) me3 %e also ba!d ) me 9 ! ,spey & sat & pa9t$ ! blue hills :ile ,i wrote4 ,we made fri5ds ) ! ,engli% *apla9 & 8 wife1 ) ! hotel proprietor :o _h amass$ a wond]ful collection ( curios1 ) a pe]less ,m>lbor\gh boy :om ,i am nev] likely to =get1 ) a few convalesc5t (fic]s & mo/ ( ! resid5ts4 ,nev] a day pass$ t 0 n full ( enjoym5t4 ,! weeks pass$ all too quickly b ,i rapidly grew bett] & my n]ves became quiet] & my outlook on life less turbul5t & que]4 ,i owe my cure ma9ly to golf1 :i* kept my ?\ghts (f writ+ or ! w>4 ,i h _h articles 9 mo/ ( ! important reviews & 9 sev]al ( ! weeklies4 ,i f9d t ,i am be+ hail$ z an educational exp]t & a lit]>y critic1 :]eas 9 reality ,i am nei!r4 ,i am a poor1 r dem5t$ creature ) v high ideals & 9 my anxiety to see "s ( my ideas c>ri$ out ,i (f5d _m good m51 put myself into a false position & ru9 myself 9 o!r p's e/imation4 ,i am ov]-en?usia/ic4 ,if ,i c\ld only le>n to g m sl[ly4 ,x is ! same old /ory ab\t my ma!matical tea*+4 ,i c't und]/& :y a boy %\ld n acquire ! rudim5ts ( ma!matics quickly4 ,i "k t he c\ld if he w\ld only be/ir himself4 ,s if only ! s*ools z a :ole w\ld be/ir !mselves1 we %\ld get boys int]e/$ 9 some?+ m important ?an games4 ,i g ! wrong way to "w4 ,i hav5't got ! tact ( a flea4 ,z my fir/ publi%] said :5 ,i s5t him ! draft ( my fir/ novel1 ,?is is too damn$ hone/4 ,t has be5 my failure ?r\gh life4 ,in/ead ( turn+ ?+s ov] 9 my m9d ,i j blurt out :at ,i am ?9k+ at ! mom5t & get angry because e "o doesn't /raightway agree4 ,elspe? & ,i sp5t a few days at ,nairn 9 ord] to ta/e ! sea breezes & ,i play$ golf ) a ,cambridge billi>d ,blue1 :o has n[ a po/ 9 ! ,briti% ,museum4 ,nairn is full ( int]e/+ p1 b x is a /range anomaly ( a place4 ,9 p>ts x is z hide\s z ,rad*e/]1 9 o!rs1 z 9 ! view across to ,crom>ty1 x is exquisitely beautiful3 ! col\rs are s(t & ( e hue4 ,i f\nd ?is "p ( ,scotl& int]e/+ f a lit]>y po9t ( view4 ,!re is c]ta9ly a t\* ( ,macbe? 9 ,=res3 & ,ossian c\ld only h be5 writt5 by a man :o knew ,k+ussie4 ,i hope be=e ,i die t we %all once aga9 h ! *ance to see ,lo* ,laggan3 ,i h nev] be5 m tak5 ) a piece ( sc5]y 9 my life4 ,laggan is l a m9iature sea1 set 9 betwe5 two beautifully %ap$ hills1 ideally quiet1 p]fect = ba?+ & = rambl+ ab\t on ! moors4 ,b x is too f> out ( ! _w = a man situat$ z ,i am n[1 :o _c be> to be out ( t\* ) ! late/ movem5ts4 ,laggan w\ld be ! place to g to worry out "s new philosophy or to compose "s wond]ful new piece ( music4 ,i ?9k ,i c\ld write a novel !re4 ,b !re mu/ be no rum\rs ( w>s ov] ! o!r side ( ! hill4 ,9 ^! days ! he>t p9es = ,london & fri5ds3 x s\nds ungrateful to say ?is1 = ,scotl& did a great deal = me1 & ,elspe? & ,i bo? b5efit$ enorm\sly f our /ay & 7 loa? to g4 ,decemb] #ca1 #aiae ,we det]m9$ to take 9 a pay+ gue/ ?is t]m3 our ,scotti% t\r co/ u #ajj4 ,luckily we got an exce$+ly int]e/+ man1 j d[n f ,ox=d1 :o has come "h to take tempor>y "w4 ,he is a great hi/orian & exce$+ly ke5 on political economy4 ,he began by be+ badly ragg$ by ! boys & dete/$ by 8 colleagues because ( 8 r new ideas & revolution>y pr9ciples3 ,i came to l him v mu*4 ,he ent]ta9$ ,elspe? & me a good deal4 ,:5 he fir/ arriv$ he 0 deadly s]i\s1 b we soon laugh$ him into a m equable /ate ( m9d3 un=tunately = u he 0 conscript$ al?\gh he 0 ne>ly bl9d1 & s he _h to g4 ,i h ?ree times be5 up to ! ,w> ,(fice to try to get out to ! ,front1 b x is no good ?9k+ ( x till ,i am sane aga94 ,! la/ ,w> ,(fice (ficial :om ,i saw s5t me to ! greate/ bra9 speciali/ 9 ,london1 & ,i n[ g up e week to be quiet5$ d[n4 ,he won't let me write m ?an is ess5tial = my well-be+1 he tries to put me into an easy /ate ( m9d :]e ,i cease f tr\bl+ ab\t any?+4 ,! idea is to get ! n]v\s tissues to "w ev5ly1 n to get fray$ & h>ass$ by ! millions ( p]plex+ d\bts & obsessions :i* flit across my m9d4 ,i am do+ my be/ to act on 8 advice4 ,x is all a "q ( :e!r my w is /rong en\gh to impose a brake ^u my m9d1 :i* is always %[+ signs ( break+ loose f ! necess>y re/ra9t t sanity dem&s4 ,he tells me to enjoy life1 n to take myself s s]i\sly1 to let ?+s slide & adju/ !mselves4 ,9 my fr5zy to get ?+s done1 ,i ov]rea* myself4 ,i attack ! deadly dullness ( ! c\ntryside1 ,i attack ! abuses 9 a s*ool curriculum4 ,i ev5 oppose ! curr5t morality ( ! age & in/ead ( do+ good ,i d active h>m4 ,i don't /op to ?9k h[ my op9ions w be con/ru$4 ,i wi% "s ( ^? :o look on me z a dang]\s innovator c\ld see me 9 =m4 ,i am sure t no "o c\ld take exception to my /atem5ts !re4 ,my :ole gospel is all ( a piece4 ,lukew>mness is ! un=givable s93 "o mu/ be an active ag5t & ally oneself on ! side ( ,god or mammon4 ,!re is no halt+ betwe5 two op9ions3 if we accept 7z we mu/7 "o or ! o!r s mu/ we fight = t side too? & nail4 ,! ,holy ,gho/1 ! ,div9e ,sp>k1 consci5ce1 call x :at y w t inspires m5 on to c\rage\s1 unselfi%1 h]oic acts & ?\ghts1 dies unless x is nurtur$ & c>efully look$ aft]4 ,t is ! lesson ,i impress on my boys 9 all ! lessons :]e ,i get a *ance ( talk+4 ,on ,sunday & ,monday morn+s ,i comm5t on all ! books ,i h read dur+ ! week1 draw+ "s lesson ( life = _! guidance4 ,he only is ! true tea*] :o is n afraid to tea*1 to expla9 ! difficulties ( life1 8 own %ortcom+s & attempts to f9d ! light4 ,"o mu/ be hone/ to deal fairly ) boys4 ,i sp5d my "t n[ 9 bicycl+ d[n to s*ool aft] breakfa/1 tea*+ all ! morn+1 writ+ articles all ! aft]noon ) an occasional v>iant by walk+ d[n to ! t[n ) ,elspe?1 tea*+ f #d4ae to #f1 & !n com+ home & writ+ until #aj & s to b$4 ,9 ?is way ! days slip pa/ at incr$ible spe$4 ,we seem to be 9 ano!r _w f ! w>3 our only rem9d]s are gigantic cata/rophes1 big successes1 old boys return+ sc>r$ & maim$2 telephonic communications pla/]$ 9 ! local booksell]'s w9d[1 w\nd$ soldi]s1 ,belgian refugees1 & occasional lectures4 ,common ,room conv]sation has *ang$4 ,! talk n[ dur+ break is ne>ly always on ! news ( ! day & v gloomy are ! pr$ictions made1 especially by our old] m51 :o are v h>d hit by ! horror ( x & age p]ceptibly betwe5 "o t]m & ano!r4 ,! debat+ societies fl\ri% z !y nev] did be=e1 boys seem to be work+ h>d]1 games are relegat$ to a second>y place 9 ! e/imation ( ! s*ool & we seem to h settl$ d[n ) grim det]m9ation to see x ?r\gh4 ,i h lately be5 lectur+ to ! ,girls' ,s*ool & 9 ,london on ,rup]t ,brooke4 ,he is a poet exactly aft] my own he>t4 ,he is clev]1 witty1 hone/1 & tries to f9d a mean+ 9 life4 ,he /ra9s aft] ,beauty b is n afraid ( ,ugl9ess3 he is 9 love ) ! mat]ial1 ! tangible joys ( life1 b is n afraid ( prob+ into ! unse5 _w & guess+ at :at lies beh9d ! d>kness4 ,i h _h ! great good =tune to h two books publi%$ ?is autumn1 "o a s*ool textbook1 ! o!r a s]ies ( sket*es ( ,engli% c\ntry life repr9t$ f ! magaz9es4 ,! s5se ( au?or%ip gives me trem5d\s pleasure & ! lett]s ,i get ( adv]se & comm5datory criticism d me good4 ,i w\ld r write a real book t matt]$1 some?+ to inspire & *e] p up & %[ !m a pa? ?r\gh ! labyr9? ( life ?an any?+ else 9 ! _w4 ,pray ,god ,i may live long en\gh to d t4 ,! days ( qu>rels & /ruggles = supremacy betwe5 ,elspe? & myself are ov]4 ,%e is extraord9>ily pati5t ) me & ,i d my level be/ n to give h] cause = (f5ce4 ,:5 ei!r ( u %[s signs ( a relapse1 ! o!r imm$iately climbs d[n & gives 9 at once4 ,i am z happy z x is possible = man to be4 ,"s half-doz5 boys come up to my h\se regul>ly & talk booki% %op & %[ up lit]>y compositions ( wond]ful insight & value4 ,i am mak+ m & m fri5ds 9 ! s*ool4 ,con+sby is p]haps my close/ fri5d3 he is ! ,tony ( ,m>lton3 he *afes at ! r\t9e & rules & f9ds an av5ue ( escape 9 lit]ature3 he is also a born poet4 ,he has a true s5se ( beauty & is le>n+ to discipl9e himself by imitat+ ! metres ( all ! old] poets4 ,i am try+ to tea* him ! necessity ( discipl9e1 retic5ce & re/ra9t 9 writ+ z 9 life1 b ,i f9d x v h>d ow+ to my own inability to con=m 9 "o or ! o!r4 ,i take him ) me to ! ,univ]sity ,ext5sion ,lectures on ! mod]n poets & to ! frequ5t conc]ts giv5 9 ! t[n by ,plunket ,gre5e1 ,g]vase ,elwes1 ! ,london ,/r+ ,qu>tette1 ! ,we/m9/] ,glee ,s+]s & o!r celebrities t come d[n "h4 ,"o ?+ :i* has br\ght out ! lat5t tal5t & int]e/+ side ( a numb] ( boys has be5 a p]=mance ( ,twelf? ,night1 :i* "o ( ! ,h\se-ma/]s got up 9 aid ( *>ity4 ,boys love act+ & to meet !m day aft] day at rehe>sals br\ght u all into mu* clos] contact ?an we 7 be=e4 ,boys ?9k f> m deeply ?an !y us$ to4 ,!y gr[ mu* m quickly to maturity ?an !y 7 wont4 ,9 "o way "o misses ! c>eless irresponsibility3 x kept "o et]nally "y to be always ) y\?1 b n[1 p>tly ow+ to ! fact t all ! s5ior boys "w 9 ! holidays 9 munition factories or on f>ms1 ! :ole s*ool is mu* m gr[n up 9 spite ( ! fact t ! av]age age is mu* l[]4 ,janu>y #ag1 #aiaf ,elspe? & ,i sp5t ,*ri/mas 9 ,ba? & ,i tri$ to write )\t mu* success1 s we decid$ to g to ,b\rnem\?1 :]e we /ay$ = ?ree weeks & enjoy$ e m9ute ( x4 ,by a /range *ance we met at lea/ half a doz5 p :o 7 ) u 9 ,scotl& 9 ! summ]4 ,we walk$ ab\t ! cliffs try+ to get /rong & w5t to _m ent]ta9m5ts & read a great _m novels4 ,we jo9$ 9 at nights ) ! hotel p 9 _! amusem5ts1 :i* did u bo? good & w5t a long way to remove ! depression ( ! times4 ,i /ill g up to ,london e week to see my speciali/4 ,i am gradually gett+ quiet]1 ?\gh !re are mom5ts :5 my re/lessness drives me to d crazy ?+s4 ,!re are h>dly any old ,radca/rians ( my "t left4 ,two ma/]s are back maim$ = life1 "o armless1 & ! o!r )\t a "r leg4 ,! o!r "y ones are all kill$4 ,/apleton has giv5 up 8 liv+ & is work+ on a f>m3 ,montague & ,jimmy ,haye keep on com+ & go+ f & to ,france4 ,bo? h be5 w\nd$ once1 b !y seem to be> *>m$ lives4 ,!y always sp5t "s "p ( _! leave ) u at ,m>lton4 ,!y live = gett+ some:]e :]e x is really quiet & !re is no rem9d] ( ! w>4 ,april #c1 #aiaf ,x is /range to walk ?r\gh ! /reets ( ,m>lton & he> work+-m5 talk+ ( ,salonika1 ,gallipoli1 ,mesopotamia1 & ,india 9 ! mo/ casual way z if !y 7 all villages )9 easy walk+ di/ances4 ,! po/m51 port]s1 & f>m lab\r]s are beg9n+ to come back1 hav+ be5 invalid$ out ( ! s]vices4 ,all ( !m are full ( wond]ful exploits & make u poor /ay-at-homes feel out ( x & useless4 ,! t]m has pass$ quietly4 ,i h be5 told by ! ,head ,ma/] t my writ+s d n altoge!r please my colleagues1 t ,i d n temp] my en?usiasm ) suffici5t discretion or ?9k long en\gh be=e ,i commit myself to a judgm5t4 ,i h be5 too mu* obsess$ ) my !ory t ! intellectual & /hetic faculties %\ld be cultivat$ be=e ! o!rs to see ! dang]\s side ( my t5ets4 ,i hate upsett+ ! ma/]s "h because "s ( !m h be5 v long-suff]+ ) my madness4 ,i am c]ta9ly extremely unpopul> because1 l ,fe/e1 ,i am comptible1 ev5 to ! lea/ s9i/] usage4 ,"u my mask ,i am abnormally s5sitive4 ,i hate mak+ enemies4 ,i want to be e man's fri5d4 ,i almo/ deceive myself into ?9k+ t ,i am1 !n 9 an ungu>d$ mom5t ,i flaunt an op9ion :i* disgu/s ! conv5tional2 9 my horror ( ignorance & dullness ,i make sweep+ g5]alizations ab\t p :o live 9 ! c\ntry & ,i some:at naturally h ! :ole hive ab\t my e>s4 ,:o am ,i1 =soo?1 to talk ( ignorance & dullness8 ,:y %\ld ,i set myself up z a p9nacle ( light8 ,i don't3 x's j because ,i am /riv+ s h>d to escape f ! sl\gh t ,i seek to drag out o!rs ) me1 a fooli%1 quixotic act4 ,elspe? & ,i h be5 amus+ ourselves look+ at all ! vacant h\ses 9 ! t[n to f9d some:]e l>g]3 x is r a good game go+ ov] o!r p's h\ses & comp>+ !m ) "o's own4 ,we _h a =tnight ( deep sn[ & sp5t ! "t 9 toboggan+1 :i* took me "r back to boyhood's days4 ,= t =tnight ,i 0 q easy 9 my m9d & irresponsible aga91 =getful ( ! myriad worries t beset me4 ,we f9d x v h>d to keep go+4 ,i get agonies ( appreh5sion j be=e ea* po/ comes 91 wond]+ :at manuscripts are go+ to be return$1 hop+ aga9/ hope t at la/ some?+ w be accept$4 ,if only ,i c\ld get a s]ies commission$1 ,i %\ld be happy4 ,x's a fi5di% bus9ess ?9k+ out subjects to amuse p1 only to be turn$ d[n by "o editor aft] ano!r4 ,i sp5d a small =tune 9 /amps alone4 ,all ! same ,i ought n to grumble3 ,i make on an av]age ab\t #ajj a ye> by writ+4 ,:5 editors d pay1 !y pay h&somely1 q out ( proportion to ! tr\ble ( writ+ ! "o article t f9ds acceptance4 ,:at /upefies me is ! enorm\s draw] full ( writ+s all s5t back too (t5 to submit aga91 or else topical & h5ce dead4 ,i f9d t ,i c't write on ! w>4 ,i want to be def9itely lit]>y or def9itely educational4 ,my colleagues dislike my do+ ! latt]1 & !re is v little m>ket = ! =m]4 ,,xviii ,may #d1 #aiaf ,we sp5t ! ,ea/] holidays ne> a munitions works 9 ,essex & _h our fir/ ta/e ( ,zeppel9s4 ,i 0 act+ 9 "s amateur !atricals to amuse ! work]s 9 ! factories1 & :ile we 7 driv+ home aft]w>ds imm$iately above u sail$ gracefully along ! grey cig>-%ap$ beautiful eng9e ( de/ruction4 ,! noise ( ! bur/+ %ells & ! bombs %e dropp$ 0 t]rific3 b none ( ! p :o live "h seem$ to worry at all4 ,i 0 fright5$ consid]ably1 b !re 0 no?+ to be done except g to b$1 s we did4 ,i don't c>e ab\t see+ any m ,zeppel9s3 x w\ld take a consid]able "t = me to take !m all z "p ( ! day's "w4 ,i w5t ov] ! factories & saw ! :ole bus9ess1 f dang] build+s to ! mo/ elem5t>y innocu\s "p ( ! conc]n4 ,x is a colossal und]tak+ & "o t gives a man "s slight inkl+ ( ! gigantic conflict 9 :i* we are engag$4 ,! work]s seem$ all v *e]y & 7 ( all types1 f p>sons to bricklay]s1 dome/ic s]vants to du*esses4 ,we 7 /ay+ ) "s extremely pleasant p4 ,! daught] ( ! h\se1 ,sybil ,grant1 is to live ) u = a t]m because %e is unhappy at s*ool4 ,h] "m likes my sy/em ( education3 ! h\sehold is "o ( ! be/ ,i h ev] /ay$ 94 ,!y are all int]e/$ 9 mod]n movem5ts1 9 poetry1 sci5ce1 e?ics1 ev]y?+ p]ta9+ to ! intellect1 & at ! same "t !y are a?letic4 ,l ! p 9 ,mr4 ,britl+ !y play /r5u\s & humor\s games ( hockey e ,sunday aft]noon1 recruit+ f local ,belgian refugees1 s]vice m5 at home on leave1 nurses1 & all ! local girls = _! sides4 ,i h r>ely enjoy$ a holiday m4 ,yet ev5 "h ! bad side ( my "* came out at times4 ,i grew re/less & morose "s days & da%$ (f to ,london = no purpose except t ,i want$ to keep mov+4 ,! suburbs ( ,london on ! nor?-ea/ side depress me frightfully4 ,com+ back f ,liv]pool ,/reet ?r\gh ,hackney ,d[ns & ,enfield is l go+ ?r\gh ! ,inf]no4 ,june #be1 #aiaf ,x is r jolly hav+ ,sybil ,grant 9 ! h\se3 %e gives me a special human int]e/4 ,x is ! fir/ "t ,i h come into contact ) an absolutely slack p]son4 ,%e dislik$ s*ool because %e c\ld n get on ) h] "w4 ,i don't wond]4 ,%e is incapable ( tackl+ any subject unless %e loves x4 ,%e reads a great deal ( poetry & likes writ+ x4 ,b h] art is q =mless4 ,l ! boy ,con+sby %e always writes ( sea-gulls & desolate cliffs4 ,all h] topics are z morbid z y\?ful topics always are3 %e delights 9 dea?-b$ sc5es & lonely suicides1 des]t$ lov]s1 & murd]]s4 ,9 h] way %e is some?+ ( a my/ic4 ,%e r ?9ks t %e is gift$ ) second sight1 :i* spoils h] a good deal1 because x leads h] to imag9e h]self z a sort ( div9e prophetess4 ,%e makes _m fri5ds among ! boys1 :i* is good bo? = !m & = h]self4 ,i sp5d mo/ ( my "t 9 be+ exce$+ly rude to h] & putt+ h] d[n to "w out ma!matical problems1 :i* %e loa!s4 ,9 spite ( ?is1 h[ev]1 we und]/& "o ano!r pretty well & get on admirably4 ,we h to-day _h a great lun* at ! ,ca/le ,hotel1 two ,six? ,=m boys & two "y b ?or\ghly intellectual ma/]s4 ,= two h\rs we sat & discuss$ educational ideals4 ,maltby is all = ! _m be+ sacrific$ to ! few3 bra9s alone matt]3 he w\ld h all games bloods disreg>d$ entirely unless !y 7 9 ! ,six?1 b all memb]s ( ! top =ms privileg$ 9 e possible sort ( way 9 ord] to act z an inc5tive to o!rs to emulate !m2 intellectual & n a?letic pr[ess is 8 cre$1 & ( c\rse ,i agree to a l>ge ext5t4 ,our object is to %[ boys t no?+ matt]s 9 comp>ison ) ! gr[? ( ! bra91 t h>d "w leads to compet5ce1 hon\r1 & a full und]/&+ ( life1 & t no?+ b h>d "w w br+ out ! be/ & mo/ laudable faculties 9 man4 ,9 ord] to a*ieve ?is we %\ld h to de/roy ! :ole exi/+ sy/em1 = ! love ( beef & muscle is at pres5t +ra9$ 9 boys f _! e>lie/ ye>s & h]o-wor%ip is app>5tly z rampant z ev] x 04 ,9 my own small way ,i always try to in/il into my boys ! necessity to op5 & use all ! bra9-cells in/ead ( j t5 or tw5ty p] c5t1 ( !m1 b my influ5ce alone doesn't c\nt = mu*4 ,we try to tea* ! lesson t games are only a recreation & n ! s]i\s bus9ess ( life4 ,i believe ! attitude :i* boys adopt t[>ds ! ,corps is ! "r "o4 ,!y "w h>d en\gh at ! book "w1 !y try to become z effici5t z possible on p>ade1 b !y revel 9 field-days4 ,we h _h two spl5did ones ?is t]m4 ,"o day la/ week we m>*$ d[n to ,welham ,heights & f\ght a great fight across ! hea!r aga9/ heavy odds4 ,x is a wond]ful place4 ,x 0 a v cle> day & 9 ! int]vals ( fight+ we got a *ance ( tak+ 9 ! beauties t lay be=e u1 ! w9d+ valleys1 ! furze-clad d[ns1 ! di/ant :ite cliffs & ! gre5 ( ! op5 sea4 ,few ( ^? :o took "p 9 ?is manuvre w quickly =get ! impression :i* ?is sup]b view ( ,sussex made on _! m9ds4 ,su* a day fills u all ) r5ew$ en]gies = our "w3 we fill our lungs ) fre% air & our m9ds ) fre% & invigorat+ ?\ghts3 we g back to "w revivifi$ & full ( det]m9ation4 ,incid5tally we seem to get to "k ea* o!r bett]4 ,on ! way home 9 ! tra9 we discuss all sorts ( subjects ne>e/ to our he>ts1 :i* we d n normally give voice to4 ,we h v mu* m *a/5$ ,spee* ,days 9 w> "t ?an we us$ to h4 ,!re is no cricket mat*1 no prize-giv+1 no lun*eon1 only ! ,priory s]vice is reta9$ & to t is add$ ! ev]-l5g!n+ li/ ( ,old ,boys :o h giv5 _! lives = ,engl&4 ,july #ab1 #aiaf ,a r$-lett] day 9 ! hi/ory ( ! family ( ,trah]ne4 ,elspe? gave bir? to a daught] ?is aft]noon at half-pa/ "o4 ,= mon?s pa/ ,i h be5 try+ to look aft] h] 9 view ( ?is great ev5t1 = ! la/ weeks ,i h myself be5 9 a /ate ( fr5zy le/ any?+ %\ld g wrong & ,i %\ld lose h]4 ,to-day has be5 a gha/ly ordeal4 ,i _h to sp5d mo/ ( x 9 s*ool1 :i* 0 a good ?+1 because x kept my m9d f brood+4 ,f n9e to "o ,i taught1 speak+ all ! "t1 try+ my h>de/ to conc5trate on quadratic equations & ,army ,engli%4 ,i w5t up at lun*-"t & 0 told to disappe> till f\r o'clock4 ,i w5t = miles on my bicycle see+ no?+1 my m9d a blank1 except = "o ev]-recurr+ s5t5ce3 ,o ,god6 grant t x may be all "r4 ,i c\ldn't face ! ?\ght ( h] go+ "u4 ,elspe? is ! :ole _w to me4 ,%e has gradually wean$ me f my love ( s*oolma/]+ & n[ ,i ?9k ( no?+ at all b h]4 ,i w5t back at f\r & 0 told t ev]y?+ 0 all "r & t ,i 0 ! fa!r ( a daught]4 ,i ?\ght ( no?+ b ,elspe?'s heal? & ,i 0 tak5 up to see h]3 %e look$ dreadfully frail & ill4 ,i =got ! baby3 ,i didn't ev5 want to see h] until ,i _h se5 ,elspe?--!n ,i 0 %[n ! wee morsel ( humanity 9 its cot4 ,its cry s\nd$ to me q uncanny4 ,x seem$ s h>d to realize t ano!r life _h ent]$ ! _w s9ce ,i 0 la/ 9 ! h\se4 ,e "o at ! s*ool has be5 up to congratulate me3 hundr$s ( telegrams _h to be dispat*$1 fl[]s & pres5ts ( all sorts began to arrive4 ,i beg9 to feel really important1 b ! fact t ,i am a fa!r w take a long "t to realize4 ,i _h no idea h[ /rung up ,i _h be5 all ! t]m be=e3 ! pres5ce ( a nurse 9 ! h\se = ! la/ week _h worri$ me & kept me 9 a /ate ( cont9ual torture4 ,! c\rage ( a girl hav+ to face su* an ordeal 9 cold blood is positively wond]ful4 ,i only hope t %e w quickly recov]4 ,augu/ #a1 #aiaf ,x has be5 a =tnight ( great trial4 ,elspe? 0 left v weak & ill & is by no means well yet4 ,%e has _h a v h>d "t4 ,! infant is z good z gold & amaz+ly heal?y4 ,%e cries v seldom4 ,i _h always imag9$ t *ildr5 cri$ ?r\gh ! entire night1 b ?is kid nev] cries at all3 %e is "o big smile by day & cont5t$ly sleepy at night4 ,%e is beautifully proportion$ & has l>ge blue eyes & regul> features4 ,i _h always ?\ght m5 r fools :o rav$ ab\t _! *ildr5's looks3 all babies us$ to look alike to me4 ,n[ ,i "k t !re nev] 0 su* a baby z m9e3 ,i look anxi\sly into prams along ! road & comp>e ! babies :om ,i see !re ) m9e4 ,i h manag$ to hide my affection = h] f all ! p :o ask me silly que/ions4 ,i'm n go+ to be class$ ) all ! o!r fa!rs !re ev] 7 z a bl9d wor%ipp] ( my own *ild4 ,h] h&s & feet give me undilut$ pleasure4 ,x is amaz+ to wat* h] mov+ !m ab\t3 h] suppl5ess ought to be a sign ( heal?y activity 9 ! future4 ,h] head is small & spl5didly proportion$4 ,i hope %e does n gr[ up a fool4 ,%e gives ,elspe? a wond]ful1 nev]-end+ int]e/ 9 life3 %e ?9ks ( no?+ else4 ,x is ! be/ ?+ t c\ld possibly h happ5$ to h]3 we ought to h _h a *ild at ! v beg9n+4 ,i am m pr\d ( h] ?an ,i d>e ackn[l$ge to any "o except myself4 ,i %\ld l to write a book j jott+ d[n h] daily gr[?1 h] recognition ( h] "m1 ( ! nurse1 ( me1 ( /rang]s1 ( ?+s 9 a room4 ,at pres5t %e loves look+ at h] h&s & %e keeps h] ?umb 9 h] m\? mo/ ( ! day & night4 ,%e has an extraord9>y am\nt ( individuality3 unluckily1 %e is t]ribly fright5$ ( any sudd5 noise4 ,?is mu/ be inh]it$4 ,i hope to ,heav5 t %e does n inh]it h] fa!r's dem5tia z well4 ,at pres5t %e has got1 ,i am told1 exactly ! expression ( my eyes1 ! f>-away1 deta*$ look v>i$ by a pi]c+1 que/ion+1 quizzical gaze t s disconc]ts /rang]s4 ,elspe?'s "m is extraord9>ily atta*$ to h] & w\ld give h] life = h]3 x is a joy to see ! delight :i* ! infant takes 9 h] gr&mo!r & vice v]sa4 ,we h *ri/5$ h] ,prunella aft] my "m4 ,i _h ! luck to get ,tony d[n to ! *ri/5+ to be h] godfa!r4 ,elspe? is go+ to sp5d ! fir/ "p ( ! holidays 9 ,ba? :ile ,i take ,tony = a walk+ t\r 9 ,devon & ,cornwall dur+ 8 convalesc5ce4 ,he has be5 w\nd$ 9 bo? arms4 ,he1 l ev]ybody else1 ?9ks h] p]fect4 ,i only hope t %e w gr[ up lov+ u & f9d+ u wor?y ( h] love4 ,we mu/ try to make life easi] = h] ?an x has be5 = u4 ,septemb] #bj1 #aiaf ,tony & ,i _h a wond]ful holiday toge!r4 ,n[ t ,elspe? has ,prunella & h] "m %e is happy & ,i1 = "s /range reason1 feel t ,i am leav+ "s "p ( myself beh9d ) h] 9 ! p]son ( ! kid1 s ,i did n feel ! sep>ation s acutely z ,i %\ld o!rwise h done4 ,i always return f a holiday 9 ! ,we/ ,c\ntry a diff]5t man4 ,on ?is occasion z ! result ,tony wrote "s wond]fully descriptive v]ses & ?ree %ort /ories1 & ,i 0 inspir$ to beg9 my fir/ novel4 ,i am n satisfi$ ) x1 because z usual ,i h hurri$ ?r\gh x f> too quickly1 my *>act]ization is n s\nd1 my protagoni/s h simply run away ) me4 ,i />t (f by mean+ to say "o ?+ & !n end up by say+ some?+ q diff]5t4 ,i _c visualize sc5es accurately3 ,i give a hazy1 vague impression l a man :o nev] keeps 8 eye on ! object4 ,i h (t51 = in/ance1 tri$ s9ce ,i h be5 at ,m>lton to describe ! s*ool1 ! ,priory1 or ! t[n1 b ,i h nev] succe$$ 9 pleas+ myself ) ! result4 ,! t[n to me is j a clu/] ( beautiful old h\ses set 9 a picturesque valley flank$ ) wood$ hills2 ! ,priory :i* /&s 9 ! mid/ defies description4 ,i "k t :5 ,i get inside ,i gaze at ! ?9 p]p5dicul> pill>s1 ! ornate ceil+1 ! _m col\r$ /a9$-glass w9d[s1 ! sl5d] beauty ( ! :ole1 b ,i _c get ! impression x makes ^u me into words3 ! s*ool is simply an ,ox=d ,college ) lime-trees 9 ! quadrangle & lattic$ w9d[s to its /udies & no m4 ,i c't pa9t :at x looks l on a cle> moonlight night1 or :5 ! lights %9e ?r\gh ! ra9 on to ! puddles 9 ! ma9 c\rts4444 ,s x is ) ,devon & ,cornwall3 _! v names r+ 9 my e>s l "s magic phrase1 b ,i c't expla9 ! fasc9ation ^! c\nties h = me4 ,x is all r a trag$y = me1 = a man :o _c see or describe accurately c sc>cely expect to become a writ]1 & ,i am almo/ z ke5 to br+ out a great book z ,i am to be a great s*oolma/]4 ,! trag$y lies ev5 deep]1 = ,i fail ev5 9 my call+4 ,i want to be able to plant my f+] on abuses & rid ! _w ( !m1 & ,i f9d ,i am simply 9 my hurry de/roy+ ! :eat ) ! t>es & br++ ! :ole edifice ( education ab\t my e>s ) no def9ite con/ructive !ory ab\t ! rebuild+4 ,i love boys b ,i don't attract _m b ! outca/s4 ,dur+ ! "t t ,i h be5 at ,m>lton ,i h only got to "k at ! outside a doz5 intimately1 & ,i don't "k t my influ5ce on ^! has be5 :olly good4 ,i r\se 9 !m a _s ( criticism & get !m to refuse to believe any?+ until !y h prov$ x = !mselves4 ,i h made enemies ( practically all ! /aff1 all ( :om are bett] fell[s ?an ,i am & d m good ) less ef=t4 ,i seem to be ! ,m>?a ( my pr(ession1 cumb]$ ab\t ) too mu* s]v+1 always ?9k+ t ,i am ! only "o :o is really work+ because ,i kick up su* a fuss ab\t x4 ,i seem to h be5 l ?is 9 ev]y?+ t ,i h und]tak54 ,:5 ,i 0 m>ri$1 ,i consid]$ t ,i 0 ! only man :o _h ev] _h to le>n by exp]i5ce ! laws t gov]n m>riage1 :5 ,prunella 0 born ,i imag9$ myself to be ! only fa!r 9 ! _w4 ,i suppose ,i d feel joys & mis]ies m acutely ?an mo/ p4 ,! smalle/ k9dness %[n me makes me almo/ wor%ip ! do] ( x2 ! lea/ h9t ( inimical criticism & ,i am up 9 arms 9 a mom5t & consid] myself ! mo/ badly treat$ man on ! face ( ! e>?4 ,x is awful to h to face oneself & write oneself d[n z self-c5tr$1 n>r[1 an>*ical1 selfi%1 & all ! re/ ( x4 ,at any rate ^? fri5ds ,i h1 h clung to me ?r\gh ?ick & ?91 & ,elspe? has be5 a brick to /ick to me z %e has4 ,i made h] come up to t[n to see ,tony be=e he w5t back to ,france & to buy "s new clo!s4 ,i am s pr\d ( h] ^! days t ,i want to dress h] sm>tly1 give h] none b ! be/ ?+s to we>1 ent]ta9 h] to all ! amusem5ts t are go+4 ,%e loves ,london2 ! %ops & re/aurants & !atres all provide h] ) a nev]-fail+ s\rce ( int]e/4 ,besides :i* x is necess>y to h a fl+ 9 ! big _w be=e we retire to our backwat] at ,m>lton3 x is all v well = me1 b !re is no?+ = h] to d !re b t5d ,prunella4 ,decemb] #ai1 #aiaf ,?is ,*ri/mas t]m has pass$ all too quickly4 ,elspe? has be5 wrapp$ up 9 ,prunella & wat*es h] gr[? ) ev]-increas+ delight4 ,i see ! infant 9 ! e>ly morn+ & talk to h] :ile ,i am %av+3 %e is n[ cutt+ tee? & do+ h] level be/ to talk4 ,h] rem>ks at pres5t consi/ ( ,gug-gug-,da-da1 & incompreh5sible noises pit*$ high & l[ 9 ! scale3 %e laughs l a gr[n-up p]son3 %e only cries :5 ! piano is be+ play$ or ! gramophone put on4 ,%e lies & kicks 9 h] cot1 h] pram or arm-*air by ! h\r3 %e is q cont5t$ croon+ & laugh+ to h]self4 ,%e wriggles h] h&s & toes ab\t incessantly & is z bad z any animal ab\t h] bottle3 h] eyes dilate ) fury if x is delay$1 & ) pleasure :5 x appe>s4 ,h] int]e/ 9 ev]y?+ t goes on is positively comic3 %e is afraid ( no?+ except sudd5 noises & all[s h]self to be h&l$ by any /rang]4 ,all ! ma/]s' wives love h]3 %e mu/ be really a beauty because e "o is agre$ ab\t x4 ,i ?9k h] eyes are lovely & h] cont5tm5t is a ?+ to m>vel at4 ,! pati5ce requir$ = ly+ = mon?s try+ to le>n to talk1 ) tee? sl[ly com+1 hair sl[ly gr[+1 /r5g? gradually be+ built up1 mu/ be imm5se4 ,h] intuition is p]haps ! mo/ noticeable ?+ ab\t h]3 %e kn[s :5 %e is be+ ragg$1 %e kn[s someh[ exactly :at x is t p are try+ to convey to h]1 & %e answ]s any "o's smile ) a beautiful gr9 :i* is entirely h] own4 ,%e is1 h[ev]1 a complete det]r5t to "w4 ,i always want to be ) h]1 to h h] on my lap & pet h]1 b ,i curb my desires /rictly4 ,aft] all1 ,i've got my writ+ to att5d to1 ,sybil to tea*1 ! boys' "w to correct & games to ref]ee4 ,my novel appe>$ 9 ! autumn & to my int5se surprise w5t into a second edition almo/ at once3 ! critics 7 unanim\s & l\d 9 _! praise1 :i* a/oni%$ me1 = x seem$ to me to lack any k9d ( pret5sions to /yle1 cl>ity1 cohesion1 or ev5 s5se4 ,none ! less ! writ+ ( books is n a pay+ game4 ,an article br+s 9 quick returns1 co/s v little en]gy1 & is n at all we>+ to ! n]v\s sy/em4 ,aft] f9i%+ my fir/ book ,i 0 a wreck4 ,spurr$ on by ! success ( ?is ,i h already writt5 ano!r 9 imitation ( ! y\ng] noveli/s ( ! day1 9 :i* ,i h portray$ a horrible "* obsess$ by sex3 ,i don't q "k :y3 ! writ+ ( x affect$ me greatly & ,i am z limp z a rag n[ x is done1 & want to burn x1 b my publi%] is delight$ ) x & wants to br+ x out 9 ! spr+4 ,= ! sake ( ! money ,i suppose ,i mu/ let x g4 ,=tune seems to be smil+ on me4 ,ano!r publi%] has already made me sign contracts = two novels & a volume ( my collect$ poems1 s ,i h my "w cut out 9 ! ne> future to cope ) ! dem&4 ,add$ to ?is1 ! be/-kn[n lit]>y ag5t 9 ! c\ntry has n[ approa*$ me & ask$ me to let him place all my "w4 ,all ! ag5ts ,i h tri$ hi!rto h fail$ me hopelessly1 b x is an hon\r to h ,h>rod = an ag5t1 ,i am told1 s ,i h sign$ 8 agreem5t too4 ,! only fly 9 ! o9tm5t is t !re is a great sc>city ( pap] & tr\ble 9 ! pr9t+ trade2 /ill1 p are read+ books m ?an ev]4 ,i %all nev] =get ! day :5 ,i fir/ saw a book ( m9e 9 ! w9d[ ( a ,london book-%op4 ,fame 7( a sort7 ,i felt _h at la/ rea*$ me4 ,?ree ye>s ago ,i %\ld nev] h dreamt su* a ?+ possible1 & my little notoriety has already br\ght me great fri5ds4 ,:5 ! ,*ri/mas t]m is ov] we are to sp5d "s days ) q a numb] ( lead+ lit]>y lights1 to ^: conv]sation ,i am look+ =w>d4 ,common ,room 7 inc5s$ at my book because !y ?\ght t !y detect$ pictures ( !mselves4 ,i c't = ! life ( me ?9k :]e1 = ! *>act]s 7 all weav$ entirely out ( my own bra94 ,app>5tly "s ( ! op9ions ,i put into ! m\?s ( my wor/ *>act]s h be5 tak5 lit]ally z my own1 :i* is p]nici\s nons5se4 ,i %\ld h ?\ght aft] all ?is "t t mo/ p "h w\ld "k :at ideals ,i /& =4 ,z a matt] ( fact no "o has lately tak5 mu* tr\ble to cultivate ! acqua9tance ei!r ( ,elspe? or myself4 ,!y look on me z ecc5tric1 !y h n worri$ to sympa?ize ) me ov] my tr\bles & ,i am afraid t !y ?9k t ,elspe? does n want to "k !m because %e goes out s seldom4 ,we live v mu* to ourselves4 ,x is h>d to see h[ we c\ld d o!rwise :5 "o realizes h[ we sp5d ea* day4 ,i h to g on writ+ mo/ ( ! "t to e>n our daily bread3 we hav5't a p5ny private means4 ,we are n v economical1 ?\gh we try h>d to be s1 & prices are /eadily ris+4 ,i h _h "o bit ( luck1 h[ev]4 ,i h be5 appo9t$ ,exam9] = ! ,ox=d & ,cambridge ,locals 9 ,ma!matics & ,engli%1 & ?\gh ! "w entails a good deal ( drudg]y1 x also makes an appreciable diff]5ce to our income4 ,incid5tally ,i v mu* l go+ ?r\gh ,engli% essay & lit]ature que/ions4 ,i l to comp>e all ! diff]5t me?ods ( tea*+ ,engli% t obta9 ?r\gh\t ! c\ntry4 ,! t]m has pass$ )\t incid5t3 ,sybil has le>nt a good deal ( hi/ory & writt5 "s excell5t %ort /ories4 ,boys come up to borr[ books & to discuss problems t worry !m4 ,i h _h no occasion to puni% any boy = "s "t4 ,old ,boys come back frequ5tly & keep u rem9d$ t aft] all !re is a w> on1 :i* we are apt to =get :5 we h a petty feud ( our own rag+4 ,i h ref]e$ a good deal ( foot]1 & /ruggl$ h>d to keep my platoon up to ! m>k4 ,! only compla9t ,i h ab\t life is t ! days are too %ort & ,i want to d f> m ?an ,i c4 ,janu>y #ai1 #aiag ,we sp5t a spl5did holiday 9 ,london go+ f h\se to h\se ( new fri5ds & see+ = ! fir/ "t h[ ! arti/ic & lit]>y section ( ,london live4 ,!y are v diff]5t f ! ,m>lton p3 _! codes are mu* less /r+5t1 !y are f> m tol]ant1 !y seem to get mu* m out ( life4 ,!y are int5sely int]e/$ 9 art1 pa9t+1 sculpture1 music1 ! drama1 & all /hetic delights4 ,elspe? 0 tak5 up at once by !m3 %e has ! sort ( uncommon beauty t passes m or less )\t comm5t 9 ,m>lton b 9 ,london is look$ ^u ) admiration4 ,%e seems mu* heal?i] & m vivaci\s 9 t[n3 ! life agrees ) h]4 ,i sp5t "s days ) h] at ,ba? & "s quietly 9 ,/4 ,john's ,wood1 writ+ = de> life at "o ( my new novels = ,manson4 ,! wor/ ( novel-writ+ is t x gives "o no "t at all = articles & ! money "o d]ives f x does n come 9 = s long a "t aft]4 ,i am told t ! book writ] a*ieves a kudos :i* ! m]e %ort-/ory & article writ] nev] gets4 ,i d\bt x1 b x may be s4 ,anyway ,i d\bt :e!r ,i %all write _m books1 ! wa/age ( n]v\s tissue is too great4 ,:ile ,i am at "w on a subject ,i want to g on & on at lightn+ spe$ until ,i h f9i%$1 & :5 ,i h f9i%$ ,i am p]il\sly ne> lunacy4 ,febru>y #aj1 #aiag ,a frightful bl[ has befall5 u4 ,i h be5 turn$ out ( ,m>lton = writ+ my second novel4 ,i am to leave at ! end ( ! t]m4 ,s aft] eight ye>s ,i am ?r[n out ( my pr(ession3 a qua9t f9i% = ! ov]ke5 en?usia/4 ,i q see t ,i 0 a fool to write x4 ,x 0 all ow+ to my unreasonable ha/e4 ,i spoke out too pla9ly3 ,i didn't condemn my villa9 en\gh or %[ ! hatr$ ,i be> to vice4 ,x is useless to expla9 n[3 all ! p5t-up fury ( ^? :o imag9e !mselves injur$ by me has brok5 out & ,i am ov]:elm$4 ,i 0 suppos$ to be tak+ "p 9 a play t ! s*ool & t[n 7 gett+ up 9 aid ( ! hospital & ,i 0 reque/$ to resign my "p because no "o w\ld act 9 x if ,i p]si/$ 9 go+ on4 ,i h be5 lectur$ by heaps ( my junior colleagues "h z if ,i _h committ$ a mo/ he9\s crime4 ,i don't q "k :at to make ( x all4 ,t ! book is a bad "o ,i c sc>cely d\bt1 = ! critics h be5 z unanim\s 9 _! condemnation ( x z !y 7 unanim\s 9 prais+ my fir/4 ,i mu/ be mu* madd] ?an ,i ?\ght ,i 01 because ,i /ill fail to see :y my influ5ce1 :i* 0 g5]ally all[$ to be on ! side ( ! angels1 %\ld sudd5ly become malign & f\l because ,i create f\l *>act]s 9 a book4 ,i c\ld wi% t "s ( my enemies c\ld h se5 my fur!r "w1 = ,i h n[ two m novels writt51 :i* c sc>cely appe> = a ye> at lea/4 ,x is all horrible4 ,i c't be> to contemplate cutt+ myself (f f ! society ( boys4 ,be=e ,i m>ri$ !y meant ev]y?+ 9 ! _w to me & n[ !y come aft] ,elspe? & ,prunella4 ,i h pass$ ?r\gh tr\bl\s ye>s ( late :i* h ta9t$ my bra93 ,i might h become sane aga9 9 "t1 b n[ all is d>kness & ,i h no?+ fur!r to look =w>d to4 ,ea* h\r ( class br+s me ne>] to my la/ "o & x is all ,i c d to keep f cry+ al\d4 ,at lea/ ,i w sp5d my rema9+ days 9 try+ to keep ! beacon bright 9 my boys' eyes4 ,i h always reg>d$ ! s*oolma/]'s z ! mo/ responsible position 9 ! k+dom3 ^! boys sitt+ "u me to-day w help to control ! ,empire to-morr[4 ,am ,i lead+ !m to see t corruption1 vice1 intol]ance & bigotry are deadly s9s & t dis9t]e/$ness1 virtue1 tol]ance & active sympa?y are ! weapons !y mu/ le>n to use 9 _! fight to build ! ,new ,j]usalem 9 ,engl&8 ,i h to r\se !m f _! le?>gy1 to make !m wild crusad]s1 c>+ = no?+ b ! future prosp]ity ( _! c\ntry4 ,i h s little "t left to d x & s mu* to d4 ,! days pass ) frightful rapidity4 ,elspe? has be5 up to ,london se>*+ = a flat = u to live 91 & aft] an ardu\s & protract$ j\rney+ %e has ev5tually discov]$ a small b com=table gr\nd-floor ap>tm5t 9 ,maida ,vale4 ,s n[ no?+ rema9s b to f9i% ! t]m out1 pack up & g4 ,i h be5 se>*+ = "w b !re does n seem any?+ vacant j at pres5t4 ,x is no light ?+ at my age sudd5ly to ?r[ up ! pr(ession "o has adopt$ & to beg9 aga94 ,education 0 my "o great passion 9 life4 ,i c nev] hope to be a great writ]4 ,! future is black3 ,i d>e n contemplate x4 ,!re are /ill1 h[ev]1 ?ank ,god1 "s weeks to g4 ,april #c1 #aiag ,my la/ t]m z a ,public ,s*ool ma/] is ov]4 ,h[ ,i manag$ to get ?r\gh ! la/ few h\rs 9 s*ool )\t break+ d[n ,i don't "k4 ,luckily no "o kn[s ! agony ,i feel4 ,sev]al1 ! majority ( p1 ?9k t ,i am leav+ ( my own free w 9 ord] to be at lib]ty to write3 ! irony ( t is laughable4 ,i w\ld give my :ole s\l to cont9ue to my life's end z a tea*] ( y\?3 ,i h lov$ my "w ) a passion ,i c\ld nev] transf] to any?+ else4 ,i h made endless mi/akes4 ,i h gone too fa/3 ,i h treat$ gr[+ boys z if !y 7 gr[n up3 ,i h n always giv5 my colleagues _! due 9 my intol]ance ( lukew>mness4 ,i h always wor%ipp$ en]gy1 & en]gy has be5 my ru94 ,i h nev] be5 able to curb my tongue or my en?usiasm nor to /ifle my op9ion4 ,! grass has gr[n ov] ! grave ( my ambitions at ,rad*e/] & ,i am by n[ =gott5 z a brea? ( w9d t once pass$ ov]1 s w x be at ,m>lton 9 a t]m or s4 ,all my ard\r gone = no?+1 my /r5u\s ideals brok51 my (fice ano!r man w take & ,m>lton w be at peace aga94 ,regrets ,i "k to be va91 te>s wa/eful4 ,! decree has gone =? aga9/ me & ,i mu/ abide by x4 ,b aft] all1 ,!re is a _w else:]e6 ,m>lton is some:at ( a backwat]1 ! wat]s "h run v sluggi%ly4 ,i want m scope2 once ,i am 9 ! great _w aga9 ,i %all quickly recov] my s5se ( p]spective & come to reg>d ?is place 9 its true light4 ,my f\r ye>s' exp]i5ce "h has be5 mo/ valuable1 b ! secret ( success 9 life is to keep mov+4 ,a roll+ /one may ga!r no moss1 b x does see life4 ,at any rate ,i am sav$ f s9k+ into a groove4 ,to-morr[ to fre% woods & pa/ures new4 ,! mean+ ( life1 z ,t*ekov says1 is to be f\nd only 9 "o ?+--fight+4 ,to get "o's heel on ! vile head ( ! s]p5t & to cru% x4444 ,if "o has made a mi/ake & lo/ fai? 9 "o idea1 "o may f9d ano!r4 ,i h /ill got :at ,i w\ld n b>t] = any?+ 9 heav5 or e>?1 & t is ! love ( ,elspe?4 ,s long z %e rema9s m9e ,i c defy ! _w1 ,i am happy4 ,pray ,god %e w nev] des]t me & turn me out z ,m>lton has1 = )\t h] ,i h no sun1 no moon1 no reason = be+4 ,%e possesses me he>t & s\l4 ,i only wi% %e c\ld ev] realize a million? "p ( :at %e means to me4 ,,app5dix ,i h ?\ght x good1 = ! sake ( ^? :o h someh[ miss$ ,patrick ,trah]ne's publi%$ "w1 :i* he produc$ "u a v>iety ( pseudonyms & initials 7,g4 ,k41 ,j4 ,b41 ,a4 ,c4 ,b41 & ,k4 ,r41 be+ 8 fav\rites71 to app5d a fragm5t "h ( a book :i* he nev] f9i%$4 ,x 0 to be call$ ,! ,future ( ! ,boy1 b ,i h be5 unable to f9d m ?an ! ,prologue & ,epilogue3 he wrote to me on sev]al occasions ask+ advice on te*nical po9ts1 & ,i _h ga!r$ f ^! lett]s t he 0 well "u way ) ! book 7:i* 0 obvi\sly to be 8 magnum opus7 :5 all writ+ _h to cease4 ,i fe> t he mu/ h de/roy$ ! manuscript 9 a mom5t ( depression1 probably on ! day :5 he receiv$ 8 dismissal f ,m>lton4 ,i guess1 h[ev]1 t he c\ld n br+ himself to burn 8 ,prologue & ,epilogue ev5 ?\gh he became too in]t to try to publi% !m4 ,i am ! m pleas$1 !re=e1 to be all[$ ! privilege ( giv+ publicity = ! fir/ "t to two ( ! mo/ rem>kable pap]s on education ,i h ev] read4 ,t !y are immature & 9 _m respects false is at once obvi\s2 !y only t\*1 too1 on ! intellectual side ( s*ool life1 ! importance ( :i* he always ov]emphasiz$2 b !y are /imulat+1 controv]sial1 & int]e/+4 ,i %all be amply repaid if ! result ( my lab\rs is to s5d su* read]s back to 8 e>li] "w1 :]e !y may discov] = !mselves "s ( ! myriad problems t vex ! practical educationali/1 & at ! same "t le>n m ( 8 !ories = re=m+ ! abuses :i* block up ! pa? to progress4 ,,prologue ,:y d n ,engli% boys c>e = le>n+8 ,,"l ,,bryce 7,janu>y #c1 #aiad74 ,,mod]n ,,%ell3 ,,to-,,day ,! boy's fir/ intimation t a new day ( mis]able wa/e has begun is receiv$ by ! clang+ 9 8 e>s ( a discordant bell by a man s]vant1 ^: sole claim to att5tion 9 ^! pages is t he also acts z ! s5ior boys' bookmak]'s ag5t1 & suppli] ( cig>ettes1 tobacco1 mat*es & pipes at a rate highly pr(itable to himself4 ,! compulsory ba? ov] 7no boy w\ld wa% unless he 0 compell$1 t is an idea t y :o live on adages & saws :i* are "o tissue ( lies w f9d x h>d to believe1 b x is true71 aft] ! compulsory ba?1 ,i say1 he hurries into 8 clo!s1 da%es d[n/airs & j gets to ! *apel z ! doors close beh9d him4 ,! s]vice ne$ n be giv5 9 detail3 x is m]ely a roll-call ) a little music ?r[n 92 ! boys are ard5tly urg$ to jo9 9 ! responses or psalms1 sometimes ) ?reats1 b except on ,sundays no "p :atev] is tak5 by ! congregation 9 ! s]vice4 ,!y m>k ) satisfaction t _! =m ma/] has not$ _! pres5ce & !n proce$ ) _! di/urb$ slumb]s1 unless ! y\? on _! "r or left has "s racy /ory or spicy bit ( news to imp>t1 or !re is "s fri5d across ! gangway ( ! aisle at :om !y wi% to gaze1 n be+ p]mitt$ by law to speak ow+ to disp>ity ( age4 ,! fasc9ation ( ! lov$ face gr[s & ! s]vice becomes int]e/+ until ! ,head ,ma/]'s eye1 ev] rov+1 se>*+ = evil1 lights on ^! two3 !y blu%1 hide _! faces "u a pret5ce ( pray+1 & m>* out2 ! s]vice is ov]4 ,a scamp] ensues t[>ds ! classrooms = ! mo/ hat$ & slacke/ s*ool ( ! day3 t on an empty /oma* be=e breakfa/4 ,! sc5e is an ill-light$1 cobweb-ridd51 :ite-wa%-wall$1 l[-ceil+$ room1 fitt$ ) old oak desks1 on :i* are c>v$ _m ?\s&s ( initials & into :i* sev]al obsc5e rem>ks are deeply ink$2 long l[ b5*es )\t backs incite ! boys to l\nge =w>d ) b5t %\ld]s2 !re is no relief on any ( ! walls to hide ! hide\s pla/] except a map ( ,pale/9e dat$ #ahga4 ,! blackbo>d is r\gh & crack$1 & :atev] writ+ is inscrib$ on x is indisc]nible :5 ! lights are on4 ,! door has j be5 unlock$1 a grey-hair$ portly man 9 an ,m4,a4 g[n lets ! flood ( sombrely-clad l\ts ( sev5te5 & eighte5 ru% pa/ ! ,eton-coll>$1 m brilliant y\ng/]s ( f\rte51 s t !y may secure ! place ne>e/ to ! pipes1 or sit 9 remote corn]s ) _! backs aga9/ ! wall1 cov]$ by ! =m 9 front f any possible detection4 ,! ma/] makes 8 way to 8 desk1 sits d[n & raps out sudd5ly3 ,/op talk+ !re2 h[ _m times h ,i told y to /op talk+ z soon z y come into ! room8 ,h>rison m9or1 are y /ill conv]s+8 ,?ank y1 ?ank y = y\r mom5t>y att5tion4 ,if y w be s good z to br+ me ! la/ ?ree hundr$ l9es ( ! ,f\r? neid on ,?ursday1 second s*ool1 we %all be1 ,i ?9k1 at "o aga94 ,%ut y\r books4 ,write out ! ,rep4 ,sil5ce !n foll[s1 except = ! scrap+ ( p5s1 ! dropp+ ( books & ma!matical in/rum5ts1 & ! :isp]$ monotone ( "o boy :o is copy+ x /raight f ! book on to ! pap]4 ,sev]al o!rs aft] a "t1 at a loss h[ to cont9ue1 pe] g5tly ov] _! neighb\rs' %\ld]s &1 enlight5$1 proce$4 ,"o ( ! bigg] boys1 m muscul> b ev5 less intellectual ?an ! re/1 produces a pap]-cov]$ novel ( ,mr4 ,nat ,g\ld f 8 pocket & proce$s to read ) "s f]v\r :5 he has copi$ 8 repetition3 two o!rs are engag$ 9 an acrimoni\s conv]sation1 ,y ---- "y sw9e1 ,i'll damn$ well lick y aft] = t4 ,bla/ y1 take y\r arm away1 ,i c't see a ^w y've writt54 ,i say1 y\r cr[d 7 a lot ( /umors ye/]day2 s y ?\ght y 7 ! ,h\se = ! 'pot4' ,my ,god6 ,talk ab\t swank6444 ,& s on1 until ! ma/] :o has hurri$ly be5 correct+ "s analysis1 :i* ! =m wi%$ to h back 7?is is an ,engli% lesson1 by ! way7 sudd5ly raises 8 head1 app>5tly hav+ he>d & se5 no?+1 & says1 ,anybody f9i%$ yet8 ,ah6 y h1 ,dixon4 ,n[ hurry up1 ! re/ ( y2 ,i've a lot to d to-day1 & !n brea?lessly he turns to 8 corrections aga91 until he has done1 !n call+ ! ne>e/ boy to him tells him to give out ! correct$ pap]s4 ,by ! way1 we'll correct t ,rep4 y've j done4 ,i'll read x out to y4 ,f\r m>ks a l9e & "o (f = e ^w wrong-- ,anon ! great ,san ,philip %e be?\ght 444 ,he :eezes ! noble poem out 9 l9es l s _m ra%]s ( bacon1 gives ! =m a mom5t's respite 9 :i* to add 7:i* !y d v g5]\sly to !mselves7 ! numb] ( m>ks4 ,he !n proce$s to give a long disquisition on adjectival adjuncts & subord9ate clauses4 ,surely1 ,morgan1 y\r k ( ! ,lat9 tongue %\ld h %[n y t---- ,a s*ool mess5g] int]rupts4 ,! ,head ,ma/] to see ,haxton at once1 sir4 ,subdu$ murmurs & a casual :i/le emanate z a fair-hair$1 good-look+ boy goes (f1 blu%+4 ,9 an und]tone "o ( ! bigge/ fell[s at ! back says to 8 neighb\r1 ,!re'll be ,hell to pay1 my son1 if t little fool />ts confess+ 8 & our pa/1 he's gone = confirmagg]-pi-jaw1 he won't /ick mu* ( t ,devil's talk2 he'll let on at once1 &--,hell6 ,yes1 sir8 ,no1 sir1 ,i wasn't talk+4 ,oh1 sorry sir1 ,i ?\ght y meant n[1 sir1 ,i 0 j ask+ h[ _m m>ks ,jaques _h got1 sir4 ,:ile ! monoton\s tea*+ ( analysis goes on1 sev]al ( ! boys at ! back might be notic$ by any "o n q bl9d to be writ+ notes :i* are hurri$ly pass$ along ! =m surreptiti\sly1 o!rs aga9 are fev]i%ly le>n+ ,greek irregul> v]bs = _! next h\r1 :5 !y g to a man :o canes = e failure to answ] a "q2 m /ill might be se5 writ+ l9es "u cov] or pret5ce ( tak+ notes1 = ! ma/] has n[ f9i%$ 8 analysis & is c>efully read+ out notes f a ,v]ity edition ( ,twelf? ,night1 :i* play ! =m are suppos$ to be enjoy+1 notes :i* ea* boy has c>efully to take d[n & le>n1 notes 9 :i* he le>ns = ! ?\s&? "t t moe m1 nief h&1 & "s int]e/+ b wat]$-d[n details ab\t ! lives ( ,p5!silea1 ,ariadne1 & o!r classical fav\rites4 ,9 ! int]vals ( tak+ d[n :atev] portion ( ?is rubbi% t v>i\s memb]s ( ! =m ?9k fit1 ! idiot ( ! =m 7!re is always "o7 is be+ quietly tortur$ 9 _m ways1 g5tlem5 beh9d kick him viol5tly =w>d1 ! quiet y\? on 8 left has be5 sil5tly p9*+ 8 e>s & pull+ 8 hair1 ) a calculat+ brutality t exi/s sc>cely any:]e except 9 ! ,public ,s*ools & ! ,s\? ,sea ,isl&s4 ,an air ( supreme bor$om & lassitude is evid5t on e face 9 ! room2 ! v atmosph]e & clo?+ seem to be p]vad$ ) x & invite x4 ,sudd5ly ,haxton1 n[ q pale & obvi\sly %ak+1 returns3 he writes a note quickly4 ,! recipi5t begs = p]mission to be excus$ = a little2 he mu/ g to ! sanatorium4 ,aft] c>efully burn+ a lot ( incrim9at+ docum5ts 9 8 /udy he makes 8 way to ! sick-room & feel+ really q unwell is able to induce ! nurse 79 ! abs5ce ( ! doctor7 to admit him4 ,mean:ile ! class pursues unruffl$ ! ev5 t5or ( its way4 ,a bell r+s1 x is #h4ae2 e>ly s*ool is ov] & ! pangs ( hung] prevail ov] all o!r feel+s4 ,breakfa/ is sup]vis$ by un=tunate junior ma/]s1 :o are suppos$ to use _! eyes to c\nt ! #cjj boys & to see t !y d n cut _! loaves on ! clo?4 ,soon aft]w>ds ,second ,s*ool beg9s1 a classical h\r2 = ?is !re has be5 half an h\r's special prep>ation aft] breakfa/--a gramm> gr9d--! man to :om !y g n[ be+ r5[n$ = 8 /rong arm & (t5 /ret*$-out h&4 ,! classroom is mu* ! same 7!y all are7 z ! "o to :i* ,i introduc$ y be=e breakfa/4 ,! ma/]1 y\ng]1 squ>e-jaw$1 n intellectual b grim1 r s\r3 ! face is m rem>kable = an abs5ce ( any virtue ?an = any special pres5ce ( vice4 ,he gives ! boys ?ree m9utes 9 :i* to make sure ( _! "w3 !n !y are all m>*$ out into ! middle ( ! room1 ask$ que/ions rapidly on ! ,greek irregul> v]bs2 a boy goes d[n a place2 ano!r supplants him2 ! :ole sy/em is app>5tly to keep ! body mov+ s t ! bra9 may p]haps capture "s motion & become al]t2 r does x seem to any rational1 unprejudic$ by/&] a me?od to involve wa/+ a maximum am\nt ( "t = a m9imum am\nt ( actual good4 ,^! boys are mo/ c]ta9ly no m al]t ?an !y 7 9 e>ly s*ool3 !y d n crib "h1 or write notes to ea* o!r or read ,mr4 ,nat ,g\ld1 !y are f> too fright5$ = t2 !y are t]roriz$ l a rabbit 9 front ( a gigantic snake1 fasc9at$1 almo/ lov+1 c]ta9ly admir+ ! /r5g? ( a man :o has su* p[]4 ,he is n inhuman ei!r1 ?is ma/]1 he has a /ock ( jokes1 ea* ( :i* is c>efully /[$ into a p>ticul> comp>tm5t ( 8 bra91 br\ght out 9 a p>ticul> ord] & call+ = ! same am\nt ( quiet laught] e "t4 ,he is v popul> among ! boys & 9 exi/+ conditions p]haps des]ves to be4 ,:5 y are be+ slave-driv51 y at lea/ l y\r driv] to be simple1 hone/ & modell$ on a plan y c und]/&3 he has to beat y1 he is paid = x2 if he c af=d to ?r[ y a joke1 h[ev] old & ?readb>e1 yet l a bone ?r[n to a p>iah dog 9 ! /reet1 y reli% x all ! m1 = y "k x is m ?an y\r due4 ,?is man a*ieves v excell5t results 9 all exam9ations3 he is kn[n z ! be/ tea*] ( gramm> 9 ! s*ool4 ,he is ! ?or\gh man :o w make 8 way & become a lead+ ,head ,ma/] 9 ! end4 ,he has no sympa?y1 no intellectual insight1 he has be5 br$ on ! same plan t he is n[ inculcat+ & ?9ks x ! f9e/ sy/em ev] devis$ = ! education ( boys3 9 fact ! only sy/em4 ,he kn[s t sev]al ignorant au?ors1 j\rnali/s & politicians occasionally decry ! results ( 8 tea*+1 b he is alo(1 sup]ior to all ^! common cries ( curs2 m ari/ocratic ev5 ?an ,coriolanus1 8 d[nfall 9 ! next decade w be z x 0 ) ! ari/ocrats 9 ! ,fr5* ,revolution1 really t]rible to witness4 ,x is ) a sigh ( relief t ! ,mod]n ,%ell he> ! bell t r+s ! close ( ?is h\r4 ,imm$iately foll[+ on ?is1 ! =m splits up into sets = ma!matics1 a subject 9 :i* !y nev] make mu* progress = sev]al reasons4 ,9 ! fir/ place ! set ma/] is a que] man ) ideas2 he took a l[ degree 9 ma!matics himself & nev] knew mu* ab\t !m1 b x worries him to f9d t no boy ev] seems to "k :5 to divide1 multiply1 add or subtract by pure reason4 ,all ! set seem accu/om$ to see a type on ! top ( an ex]cise or on ! blackbo>d & to copy ?is type fev]i%ly a hundr$ times1 !reby to ga9 _m m>ks & ?9k !y h accompli%$ some?+4 ,= ! feti% ( m>ks is :at makes ,mod]n ,%ell d any "w at all4 ,!y h a p]fect passion = ga9+ !m & ?is ma/] p&]s to x by giv+ !m ?\s&s a day3 consequ5tly ! set works at lightn+ spe$1 b nev] a*ieves any?+1 = none ( its memb]s seems capable ( reason4 ,ev5 ?\gh geometry is sub/itut$ = ,euclid !y /ill contrive to le>n propositions z a species ( v difficult prose repetition3 !y /ill believe 9 & treat algebra & ari?metic z two va/ly diff]5t subjects :i* c h no connexion ) ea* o!r1 ! m]e pres5ce ( an x 9 an ari?metic pap] fright5s !m out ( _! s5ses4 ,!y dabble 9 /ocks & %>es1 comp\nd proportion1 approximation 9 decimals1 quadratic equations1 log>i?ms & progressions1 & yet imm$iately !y get out ( =m & into ! tuck-%op !y are unable ev5 to c\nt ! *ange !y get out ( half a cr[n )\t a mi/ake1 !y _c measure ! simple/ article accurately & h no m p[] ( logical reason+ ?an !y _h z babies4 ,consequ5tly :5 !y come to exam9ation "t !y fail4 ,giv5 a type !y w "w out a hundr$ examples ) sc>cely a mi/ake4 ,ask$ = ! answ] ( an orig9al sum & !y are nonpluss$ at once & multiply :5 !y %\ld divide1 add :5 !y %\ld subtract & vice v]sa1 entirely )\t me?od1 pr9ciple or reason4 ,yet ^! fell[s "w h>d en\gh1 n f fe> ( ! ma/] 9 ?is case1 he sc>cely ev] puni%es1 b 9 ord] to ga9 "s ( ! ?\s& m>ks ov] :i* he is s g5]\s4 ,! la/ s*ool ( ! morn+ is sp5t to-day 9 hi/ory4 ,geography is also suppos$ to be taught b is g5tly all[$ to slide except = ! draw+ ( a few maps4 ,! hi/ory ma/] is a de> good man1 a ?or\gh slack]1 well belov$ ( ! :ole s*ool & /aff4 ,! prep>ation is z usual to read a *apt] ( ,oman4 ,"s notes are read out f ! ma/]'s und]graduate notebook v sl[ly & li/lessly & z sl[ly & li/lessly tak5 d[n by mo/ ( ! =m unless !y h any?+ else to d su* z draw+ ,old ,clo!s-horse 7! nickname ( ! ma/]71 a proce$+ sometimes fraught ) dang] = ,old ,clo!s-horse has an uncom=table habit ( sudd5ly rememb]+ 8 vocation1 ( say+ to himself1 ,i mu/ be /]n4 ,on su* days he w dem& ( su* a "o ! draw+1 & bawl out at ! top ( 8 voice3 ,y disgraceful sc\ndrel1 y son ( a pl\gh-boy--y--y--disgu/+ h\nd--y w write out ! :ole ( ! la/ hundr$ pages ( ! hi/ory--a puni%m5t naturally en\gh aft]w>ds remitt$ to "o-half1 "o-?ird1 "o-t5?1 b ev5 !n fairly sev]e4 ,8 me?od ( imp>t+ hi/ory runs too mu* on ! l9es ( do+ ! m9imum ( correct+ "w 7:i* ?\gh he does n "k x1 is a /ep 9 ! "r direction1 b done 9 8 case f ! wrong motive7 & ( plac+ implicit confid5ce 9 ! read+ ( ! "w ( "o man4 ,dates & comp>isons ( *>act]s1 k ( laws & deft little p>agraphs ab\t ?+s l ,habeas ,corpus1 ,b>ebones1 & s on1 ) neat comp>tm5ts at ! end ( ea* p]iod conta9+ ! great names 9 lit]ature ( t p]iod 7z if x ev] did a boy any good j to "k ! "n ( ,dryd51 ,pope1 ,burke1 & ,johnson )\t hav+ read a ^w ( _! works71 ^! comb9e to =m 8 /ock 9 trade4 ,8 boys turn out fairly well 9 /]eotyp$ exam9ations1 b !y leave s*ool kn[+ no real hi/ory at all1 worse /ill ) a positive di/a/e = a subject ) :i* !y h really n ev5 a nodd+ acqua9tance4 ,morn+ s*ool is n[ ov] & an h\r is to pass be=e ! midday d9n]4 ,y ?9k p]haps ^! boys n[ are go+ to h complete re/1 a *ance ( be+ by !mselves1 "t = read+--n a bit ( x4 ,!re w n[ be compulsory net practice or %oot+ on ! range1 recruit drill1 a racquets or a fives tie to play (f1 an imposition1 probably sev]al1 9 arre>s to be poli%$ (f1 book-keep+1 %or?&1 typewrit+ or music classes to att5d1 or1 wor/ ( all1 private tuition4 ,d9n] comes z a tempor>y relief 9 :i* discussion runs rife on ! late/ sc&al1 scores at cricket1 ! news 9 ! ,sportsman1 ! newe/ cat*-^w1 h[ ,s-&-,s 0 ragg$1 ! late/ =m ( torture devis$ = ! mo/ prom95t idiot1 & all ! cu/oms1 fa%ions & frivolities ( _! little _w4 ,aft] d9n] a /amp$e is made to *ange f ! appall+ fun]eal g>m5ts ( ! morn+ :i* are giv5 an all too brief respite1 into ! flannels necess>y = ! ,h\se mat* or nets ( ! aft]noon4 ,"s luckless ones :o h p]*ance dropp$ a p5 9 ! deadly /illness ( a /rict ma/]'s =m or refus$ to d any prep>ation = ov] a week 9 a slack "o's set1 are h\nd$ r\nd ! quadrangle = half an h\r 9 an ignom9i\s puni%m5t drill1 :i* drill sometimes conta9s ov] a hundr$ boys1 :i* speaks well = ! discipl9e ( ! s*ool4 ,suppose x is a ,h\se-mat* day1 & ne>ly e day 9 ! summ] t]m sees "o ( ^! 9 progress1 ^? 9 ! ,h\ses conc]n$1 n actually play+1 w all be compell$ to wat*3 nay1 9 fact s imbu$ ) ! evils ( ov]-a?leticism are !y t !y w\ld all r miss any?+ ?an "o ball b[l$1 "o run scor$2 _! eyes are rivet$ on to ! cricket pit*2 ! :ole /aff is !re equally occupi$2 ! life ( ! little nation is at /ake2 no?+ at all matt]s except ! w9n+ or los+ ( ?is s+le mat*4 ,x is ! "o big _w ev5t ab\t :i* qu>rels w be rais$1 criticism w be rife = days to come1 9 dormitory1 9 ! ,common ,room1 9 ! privacy ( ! ma/]s' own sitt+-rooms or 9 ! /udies ( ! boys4 ,o!r ,h\ses n actually play+ w be practis+ assidu\sly at nets until ano!r bell r+s to %[ t "t is up2 a ru% is made to *ange back into ! mona/ic g>b prep>atory to gett+ up m "w 7or pret5d+ to7 = aft]noon s*ool4 ,! fir/ p]iod ( ! aft]noon to-day is giv5 up to :at is call$ sci5ce = our =ms2 t is to say1 a few n]veless exp]im5ts :i* nev] come (f are tri$ by a man :om x is h>d to diff]5tiate f ! bottle-wa%] ( ! laboratory1 a man ) an acc5t 7n t t matt]s intr9sically71 b a man ) ! vulg> attributes t accompany acc5t :5 promot$ to sph]es unus$ to su* ?+s2 liv+ 9 an air ( snobbi%ness & hypocrisy1 ?is b\nd] b\nds m ?an ev] he ne$ & causes h[ls ( d]ision z1 9 8 n]v\sness he mispron\nces words ( :i* ev5 ,mod]n ,%ell h someh[ acquir$ ! correct tonation4 ,a smatt]+ ( physics1 *emi/ry1 electricity1 magnetism1 heat & light1 is n[ dol$ out 9 su* m9ute quantities t no "o ev] d]ives any real idea ( :at is go+ on1 :at !y all mean2 j en\gh to temporize1 to fill ! p>5ts' m9ds ) ! idea t _! sons are be+ lib]ally educat$ 9 e dep>tm5t ( life4 ,f ?is wa/e ( "t ! boys proce$ to _! la/ h\r ( real s*ool tea*+ = ! day--,fr5* or ,g]man1 taught aga9 9 sets by a man :o took high hon\rs 9 hi/ory & !n sp5t six mon?s 9 a ,g]man p5sion4 ,8 =eign acc5t is deplorable b he is a consci5ti\s man & makes a valiant ef=t at lea/ to keep a day ahead ( 8 set 7n a v h>d task7 9 k4 ,he1 h[ev]1 has ideas on ! subject ( tea*+ mod]n languages & does n believe too mu* 9 ! m5tal gymna/ic ( gramm>1 b buys p]iodicals 9 ,fr5* & ,g]man1 & also mod]n novels = 8 set to read3 be+ an entirely hone/ man 8 ignorance is be+ cont9ually %[n up1 p>ticul>ly z he is un=tunate en\gh to h 9 8 set "o boy :o sp5ds all 8 holidays 9 ,belgium or ,switz]l&1 b 8 popul>ity c>ries him ?r\gh1 & 8 v lack ( k makes ! boys "w to see if !y c beat him on 8 own gr\nd3 ?is1 x is easy to see1 is ! ,mod]n ,%ell's intellectual treat ( ! day4 ,9 exam9ations !y d no?+1 b mo/ ( !m get "s sort ( a smatt]+ (1 & beg9 really to take an int]e/ 91 languages ^: p]iodicals sometimes ev5 publi% football & cricket results & occasionally h pictures :i* rem9d !m ( c]ta9 ,london p5ny weeklies t !y avidly read 9 dormitory4 ,a bell signalizes tea & ! end ( s*ool4 ,a hurri$ repa/1 = physical tra9+ foll[s h>d on ! top ( x1 a compulsory =m ( ex]cise t mo/ boys frankly dete/4 ,aft] tw5ty m9utes ( ?is ! prep>ation bell goes1 & excitem5t is rife to see :e!r x is ,! ,cadg] or ,hopeless ,george on duty4 ,if ! =m]1 "w & ! "r "w has to be attempt$3 if ! latt]1 novels appe> z if by magic & "w is giv51 = an ec/atic h\r1 ! g-by4 ,ano!r bell 7! bell is s con/antly 9 use t a special man has to be kept :o does no?+ else b att5d to ?is dep>tm5t7 summons ! s*ool to ev5+ *apel1 a repetition ( ! morn+ roll-call1 except t a lu/y ro> 9 a well-kn[n hymn w te/ify to ! ,almighty t !re are #cjj boys :o are well pleas$ t ano!r ruddy day is o'er4 ,z a matt] ( fact x is n o'er1 = a fur!r h\r ( prep>ation 9 ! privacy1 h[ev]1 ( _! /udies ?is "t awaits !m4 ,pa!tic inde$ is ! sight ( ! tir$-out wan faces ( ! ,mod]n ,%ell boy1 ^: head c be se5 nodd+ ov] ! page ( a dull gramm>1 try+ 9 va9 to keep awake & rememb] ! consequ5ces t w accompany 8 ignorance on ! morr[ if he =gets :at a quasipassive or oxymoron is4 ,at la/1 at t5 o'clock ! bell r+s once m & ) a bur/ ( en]gy he fl+s 8 book aside & ru%es up/airs only1 9 all probability1 to f9d t x is 8 duty to keep nixes-wat*1 t is1 to /& ne> ! end ( ! dormitory until ne>ly midnight to li/5 = ! /ep ( ! ,h\se-ma/]1 :o might o!rwise pry into practices t w\ld fill 8 complac5t m9d ) disquiet4 ,ab\t midnight1 worn out1 yet n a :it improv$ 9 body1 s\l1 or m9d ! luckless wight w be all[$ to get into b$1 to sleep1 p]*ance to dream ( a new regime1 ( a bett] ord] ( ?+s1 :]e life w n be "o dull1 et]nal r\nd ( uselessness1 useless k1 useless puni%m5ts1 useless games1 useless virtues1 useless vices1 useless re/ra9t1 useless discipl9e1 b free1 progressive1 happy1 :]e no su* ?+s take place z h tak5 place 9 ?is absolutely tru?ful picture ,i h drawn ( a day 9 ! life ( a boy 9 ! ,mod]n ,%ell4 ,,epilogue ,education is ! release ( man f self4 ,y h to wid5 ! horizons ( y\r *ildr51 enc\rage & int5sify _! curiosity & _! creative impulses1 & cultivate & enl>ge _! sympa?ies4 ,"u y\r guidance & ! sugge/ions y w br+ to be> on !m1 !y h to %$ ! old ,adam ( in/9ctive suspicions1 ho/ilities1 & passions1 & to f9d !mselves aga9 9 ! great be+ ( ! ,univ]se4--,! ,_w ,set ,free4 ,,mod]n ,,%ell3 ,,to-,,morr[ ,9 ! fir/ place x mu/ be borne 9 m9d t "o great diff]5ce 9 ! attitude ( ?is =m to life 9 g5]al 9 ! future w be caus$ by ! fact t x w be a mix$ class ( boys & girls1 & w be recruit$ f all sections ( ! p1 s t !re w be e *ance ( !re be+ practically no div]g5ce 9 age1 physique or intellig5ce betwe5 ! top & bottom1 to use ! exi/+ phraseology1 betwe5 ,a & ,z1 z !y w !n be plac$4 ,! boys & girls w be p]mitt$ to get up z e>ly 9 ! morn+ z !y l1 b n lat] ?an #g4cj 9 ! summ] mon?s4 ,breakfa/ w foll[ at once 9 diff]5t ,h\ses1 boys & girls sitt+ at ! same table z mu* mix$ z possible1 fri5d ) fri5d4 ,*apel = ^? :o wi% to g w foll[1 a s]vice %ort1 devotional1 s9c]e1 conta9+ a few p]sonal pray]s1 a r\s+ well-kn[n hymn & a lesson ( p>ticul> applicability n necess>ily tak5 f ! ,bible alone1 b f any ( ! great ma/]pieces ( ! _w4 ,ma/]s & mi/resses :o feel inspir$ to give a p]sonal address ( n m ?an five m9utes on any problem t may h be5 occupy+ _! m9ds may int]polate _! s]monette 9 ! place ( ?is lesson4 ,?is1 ! only s]vice ( ! day1 w n take long] ?an twelve m9utes4 ,if ! wea!r is f9e mo/ ( ! "w ( ! day w be done out ( doors1 "s ( x1 su* z ! manual lab\r classes1 ! digg+1 road-m5d+1 g>d5+1 w necess>ily be s1 b 9 fav\rable circum/ances ! intellectual side ( ! curriculum w be z f> z possible c>ri$ out 9 ! op5 air4 ,if1 h[ev]1 ?is is to-day impossible1 ! ,lat9 h\r w be conduct$ 9 a classroom1 :]e inspir+ pictures1 replicas ( old ma/]s & pieces ( sculpture w make an already bright1 airy1 *e]ful1 heal?y classroom /ill m s4 ,! ma/]1 mi/ress1 girls & boys w all be dress$ 9 ^? clo!s consid]$ mo/ sane & heal?y f ! eug5ics po9t ( view2 flannels & gymna/ic dress w probably be mo/ popul>4 ,! ,lat9 taught w c]ta9ly n be ( ! gramm>-gr9d sort3 conv]sation w g on betwe5 girl & boy1 o!rs 9 ! same class w be con/ruct+ a ,roman amphi!atre1 or work+ out1 on a sort ( ,daily ,mail w> bo>d1 a campaign ( ,pompey or ,cs>4 ,! life ( a ,roman citiz5 w be enact$ & writt5 ab\t by ! classes3 all ! "t ! boys & girls w be do+ ! "w2 ! tea*] only flitt+ ab\t f gr\p to gr\p z 8 or h] pres5ce is requir$1 enc\rag+ "h1 po9t+ out errors !re1 all ! "t act+ z any real tea*] ought to act1 t is1 n foi/+ 8 or h] op9ion on to ! =m b develop+ _! own ideas on ! l9es mo/ desirable = !m4 ,! h\r in/ead ( pass+ z h\rs 9 s*ool are pass+ n[adays 9 p]iods ( long1 sl[ly dragg+ m9utes t make "t seem int]m9able to ^? :o take out _! wat*es 9 ! va9 hope t ,fa!r ,"t w take a h9t & h m]cy1 w g s quickly 9 ! int]e/ & joy ( real "w & progress t ! =m w only regret hav+ to leave ! subject1 7 x n t ! next is j z full ( int]e/1 j z helpful4 ,x is ma!matics 9 ?is second p]iod c>ri$ out 9 a sort ( eng9e]+ s*oolroom :]e practical implem5ts are at h& = te/+ all _! !oretical results4 ,"o section ( ! class to-day splits up into a lot ( /ockbrok]s & ! re/ into inve/ors4 ,ea* inve/or has 8 own bag ( gold or c\nt]s1 8 own *eque-book1 ! daily newspap]s are br\ght into s*ool & consult$1 & ea* y\?ful f9anci] tries 8 =tune ) ! inve/m5t t mo/ suits 8 fancy at ! "t4 ,day by day he develops 8 orig9al idea1 buy+ "h1 sell+ !re1 s t 8 k ( /ocks & %>es by ! end ( a t]m is unassailable2 ! f\ndation is laid ( a "* t w n play ducks & drakes ) 8 own real money 9 lat] life if he f9ds t 8 spla%es n[ hold him up to ridicule f 8 fell[s at s*ool4 ,9 geometry ! =ms w inv5t _! own problems & "w out toge!r z a body any t defeat ! individual intellig5ce4 ,& aga9 ! tea*]'s aid w only be invok$ z a la/ res\rce2 ! *ildr5 w tea* !mselves4 ,buy+ & sell+1 commission & p]c5tage "w w all be done z x 7 9 real life by ! tak+ ( a case t "o ( ! =m inv5ts or by go+ ! r\nd ( ! %ops 9 ! t[n or village & audit+ _! acc\nts1 look+ into _! bus9esses & receiv+ real in/ruction f ^? ^: life's "w x is to conduct a trade or bus9ess1 s t "h aga9 ! factor ( reality s absolutely ess5tial to ! intellig5t le>n] %all be br\ght into play4 ,by ! end ( a t]m ea* pupil or at any rate ea* =m w h produc$ its own algebra1 ari?metic & geometry1 & ^! w be /or$ 9 ! ar*ives ( ! =m if !y are ?\ght to be ( suffici5t value4 ,at any rate !y w be ! only textbooks !y w see 9 ^! subjects4 ,! p]iod foll[+ on ?is w be an outdoor "o if possible1 ei!r "o ( ^? m5tion$ above or a natural hi/ory /udy 9 ! ne>e/ wood1 or draw+ ( ! surr\nd+ c\ntry1 or danc+ on ! plat=m p]man5tly kept = t purpose 9 a corn] ( ! play+-fields to a gramophone1 or s++ 9 ! op5 air1 or any ex]cise or physical tra9+ decid$ on z b5eficial to ! human frame6 ,f ?is ! =m w come 9 refre%$ 9 body ready = m intellectual /imulus4 ,!n foll[s ! h\r ( hi/ory & geography2 ! hi/ory on a plan rudely devis$ 9 ! e>ly "p ( ! tw5tie? c5tury by ,mr4 ,c4 ,r4 ,l4 ,flet*] 9 8 ,sir ,rog] ( ,tubney & ,mr4 ,=d ,madox ,hueff] 9 ,ladies ,^: ,bright ,eyes1 :]e all our ance/ors1 _! cu/oms & reasons = _! /range actions1 /& out cle>ly 9 ! broade/ outl9es z real liv+ =ces4 ,! ,elizabe?an adv5tur]1 ! peasant1 ! ville91 ! ,norman b>on1 ! v>i\s ,k+s1 ! ,cavali] gallant1 ! ,augu/an ,age c\rti]1 ! ,georgian politician1 ! p[d]-puff-age lady satiriz$ by ,addison1 all w live z actually z our own relatives & fri5ds4 ,sc5es f hi/ory aga9 w be act$ 9 co/ume1 debates w take place 9 class z to :y ,%akespe>e does n see fit to m5tion ,magna ,*>ta1 :at effects foll[$1 :at causes1 :y en?usiasm 0 held 9 su* disda9 9 ! eighte5? c5tury1 & altoge!r1 h& 9 h& ) ! lit]ature ( its age1 ! hi/ory ( ea* p]iod 9 ! nation's life w be c>efully work$ out1 & its be>+ on pres5t-day "* & cu/om s\ndly sift$ & ?ra%$ out4 ,i said geography w\ld be tak5 at ! same "t3 geography z /udi$ 9 ! new s*ools w be an excell5t mixture ( political economy1 hi/ory 7really x is h>d to sep>ate ! two71 sci5ce & ma!matics1 all 9 _! relation to actual facts4 ,calculations ( temp]atures by iso!rms1 geological /rata1 ev5 num]ical facts ab\t o!r races1 all ( ^! ?+s w /rike home & be f\nd ( p>am\nt int]e/ to boys & girls1 b mo/ especially w ?is be ! case :51 z w always happ51 ! =m decide to "w out & write up 9 detail ! accurate hi/ory & geography ( _! s*ool & ! di/rict imm$iately surr\nd+ x4 ,?is w give s mu*1 su* ample opportunity = ! r\s+ ( & keep+ ke5ly alive _! faculties1 t ( all subjects1 hi/ory & geography w be ! h>de/ f :i* to te> ! ard5t en?usia/s4 ,! nature ( ! soil1 ! v>i\s w9ds t bl[1 ! effect ( ^! w9ds on ! wea!r1 t is1 :at wea!r to expect aft] diff]5t w9ds1 ! ra9fall1 ! cont\r ( ! outly+ l&s1 ! agricultural /ate1 ! condition ( ! crops--! li/ might be magnifi$ into a book by itself1 all ^! ?+s w help ! *ild to a bett] & tru] und]/&+ ( ! mak+ ( hi/ory & geography ?an any textbook1 & w prove ( la/+ wor? to him z a useful citiz5 ( ! future4 ,aft] ?is p]iod !re w foll[ an entirely free "t1 :5 ! s*ool w be at lib]ty to foll[ its own devices until lun*-"t3 !re w be volunt>y lectures on all sorts ( subjects t appeal to ! /amp-collector's or ! natural hi/orian's m9d by m5 & wom5 :o h made _! m>k4 ,great explor]s & big-game hunt]s w !mselves come & give an acc\nt ( _! excit+ exp]i5ces4 ,p]petual pianolas1 p]petual c9ematograph films w be 9 use dur+ ^! h\rs 9 :i* ! s*ool is at lib]ty4 ,9 ! aft]noon1 free "t w be giv5 = games ( e description to be play$1 no p>ticul> p>tiality be+ ext5d$ to "o ov] ano!r4 ,runn+1 swimm+1 t5nis1 basket-ball1 racquets1 fives1 golf1 cricket1 %oot+1 all w be equally accessible & equally enc\rag$4 ,tea-p>ties daily f #d to #d4cj w be giv5 by ma/]s & mi/resses1 & by pupils to o!r pupils or to _! eld]s1 a "t ( social int]c\rse & polite society3 ! neighb\r+ populace w !n be ent]ta9$ by ! y\?ful ho/s1 & c\rtesy & gallantry h a special *ance ( be+ adequately cultivat$4 ,aft] tea s*ool w aga9 be cont9u$ 9 ! sci5ce h\r1 :]e ea* pupil w proce$ to exp]im5t "u ! c>e ( an exp]t ) ! produce :i* he or %e has be5 conc]n$ ) 9 ! morn+4 ,x may be to-day t ! ,mod]n ,%ell are try+ to discov] a use = ! millions ( rott5 bananas t are %ipp$ into ?is c\ntry week by week 9 ord] to economize 9 produce or to discov] a new f]tiliz]3 x may be t !y wi% to discov] h[ to elim9ate f ! wat] ( ! neighb\rhood c]ta9 prop]ties t h be5 f\nd to h an evil effect on ! heal? ( ! populace2 once y see ! bugbe>1 ! nightm>e ( exam9ation1 is remov$ ! *ild c occupy himself do+ some?+ really useful1 some?+ :i* w 9 all probability be1 9 ! end1 ( great s]vice to ! ,/ate & at ! same "t tra9 ! y\?ful m9d 9 ! way x bo? wi%es & ought to g4 ,! ,fr5* p]iod :i* f9i%es up ! aft]noon s*ool w be ( great use1 = rem9isc5ces w be indulg$ 9 ( ! la/ visit to a ,fr5* s*ool1 village or t[n on ! "p ( ^? memb]s ( ! =m :o w5t la/ ye>1 9 ! annual =eign t\r2 !y w by ^! rem9isc5ces1 told ( c\rse 9 ,fr5*1 :et ! m9ds ( ! neophytes1 s t !y w look =w>d m ?an ev] to ! holidays :i* w see !m z a body transport$ to a l& :]e s _m fasc9at+ cu/oms may be witness$4 ,conv]sation bo? 9 & out ( s*ool w be c>ri$ on 9 bo? ,g]man & ,fr5* z mu* z possible1 help$ ( c\rse by ! fact t !re w be s _m natives ( ^! c\ntries always 9 ! s*ool4 ,! ev5+ w sometimes be sp5t 9 quiet read+1 sometimes 9 lectures1 sometimes 9 c9ematograph %[s 7z a matt] ( fact ! c9ema w be v mu* 9 evid5ce ?r\gh\t ea* & e day71 sometimes 9 conc]ts1 pianola & real1 v (t5 9 !atricals2 b on ?is p>ticul> ev5+ ( :i* ,i am speak+ ! ,mod]n ,%ell h decid$ to d ! ,engli% t ! pres5t-day =m did 9 morn+ s*ool be=e breakfa/4 ,?is ,engli% p]iod is1 if any?+1 look$ =w>d to m ?an any o!r p]iod 9 ! day4 ,! reason is t1 9 its _m-sid$ness1 x is ev5 p]haps m entranc+ ?an geography4 ,fir/ !re is ! writ+ & edit+ ( ! =m magaz9e1 :i* is an intricate p]iodical ) a daily news-%eet m]g+ into a m s]i\s-m9d$ weekly1 :i* itself turns into a mon?ly magaz9e ( extraord9>y bulk4 ,news1 v]ses1 /ories1 long & %ort1 novels1 draw+s1 essays1 debates1 dialogues1 all are heap$ into ?is production4 ,plays are writt51 produc$ & act$ by ea* =m1 sup]vis$ only at ! r>e/ int]vals by ! =m ma/]1 p>ts = :i* are ?\ght out & debat$ ab\t spirit$ly 9 =m z "p ( ! subject4 ,extracts f ! great ma/]s are discov]$1 le>nt & declaim$ by ! discov]] to ! re/ ( 8 conf$]ates2 ev]y:]e & 9 e bran* ( ?is subject !re is ! fre% air & fi]ce pleasure ( ! explor] & pione]1 c>v+ out = himself a gigantic task to be p]=m$1 discipl9+ himself = t task by repeat$ small] und]tak+s4 ,9 su* an atmosph]e ( fev]i% excitem5t & int]e/1 is x to be wond]$ at t ! result is s magnific5t8 ,= our y\?ful poetry is real poetry writt5 9 ! :ite heat ( passion1 ! lit]ature ( our y\? is real lit]ature writt5 :ile ! fire ( life is /ill burn+ /rongly & furi\sly inside4 ,ea* boy & girl f9ds 9 him or h] self some?+ t he or %e mu/ say1 some?+ sacr$ t mu/ be express$ aft] attempts :i* may (t5 be futile1 volatile1 fluid2 at l5g? !re emanates a solid1 la/+ record 9 s5t5ces t w r+ ?r\gh ! _w ( a g5]ation t _h ris5 out ( ! sl\gh ( sull5 acquiesc5ce 9 an age t c>$ n = le>n+ or ?+s ( ! s\l1 to ! highe/ heights t _h ev] be5 dreamt ( by ! human race1 & our s*ools ( ! future _h %[n h[ ne>ly godlike inde$ are ^! puny mortals :5 !y put _! %\ld]s to ! :eel & help ,god to gr9d ,8 mill4 ,s we leave our dream-*ildr5 & ?is sket* ( ,utopia 9 ! f]vid hope t some?+ ( tru? exi/s 9 ?is vision t ,i h se51 & ! la/ & mo/ f]v5t pray] ( my life is t ,i may live long en\gh to take "p 9 a revolution t %all make su* a vision possible1 & see x 9 ! initial /ages />t+ on its godlike c\rse2 !n %all ,i1 l ,simeon1 be cont5t to dep>t 9 peace1 = ,i %all h1 9 little at any rate1 ,o ,god1 h se5 ,?y salvation4 ,,transcrib]',s ,,note3 ,obvi\s pr9t] errors h be5 correct$4 ,o!rwise1 ! au?or's orig9al spell+1 punctuation & hyph5ation h be5 left intact4