,,m>ion ,,h>l&',s ,,complete ,,etiquette ,,m>ion ,,h>l&',s ,,complete ,,etiquette ,a ,"y ,p's ,guide to ,e ,social ,occasion ,,by ,,m>ion ,,h>l& ,,& ,,virg9ia ,,van ,,de ,,wat] ,,revis$ ,,& ,,enl>g$ ,illu/ration ,,indianapolis ,,! ,,bobbs-,,m]rill ,,company ,,publi%]s ,,copyright #aije1 #aijg1 #aiad ,,! ,,bobbs-,,m]rill ,,company ,,press ,,( ,,braunwor? ,,co4 ,,bookb9d]s ,,& ,,pr9t]s ,,brooklyn1 ,n4 ,y4 ,,cont5ts ,,*apt] ,,page ,i ,,s5d+ ,,& ,,receiv+ ,,invitations #a ,,ii ,,c>ds ,,& ,,calls #ad ,,iii ,,lett]-,,writ+ #bg ,,iv ,,introductions #ch ,v ,,aft] ,,six ,o',,clock #dc ,,vi ,,functions #eb ,,vii ,,! ,,home ,,w$d+ #fi ,,viii ,,! ,,*ur* ,,w$d+ #gh ,,ix ,,! ,,d9n] ,,p>ty #hh ,x ,,! ,,education ,,( ,a ,,"y ,,girl #aaa ,,xi ,,! ,d,,butante #abj ,,xii ,,m5 ,,& ,,wom5 #abe ,,xiii ,,co$ucation ,,socially ,,consid]$ #acf ,,xiv ,,! ,,*ap]on #ade ,,xv ,,! ,,matt] ,,( ,,dress #aeb ,,xvi ,,mak+ ,,& ,,receiv+ ,,gifts #afg ,,xvii ,,ba*elor ,,hospitality #age ,,xviii ,,! ,,visitor #ahb ,,xix ,,! ,,visit$ #aie ,,xx ,,hospitality ,,z ,a ,,duty #bjc ,,xxi ,,! ,,h\se ,,( ,,m\rn+ #bjh ,,xxii ,,at ,,table #baf ,,xxiii ,,9 ,,! ,,home #bbg ,,xxiv ,,9 ,,public #bch ,,xxv ,,hotel ,,& ,,bo>d+-,,h\se ,,life #bdi ,,xxvi ,,9 ,,! ,,re/aurant #bei ,,xxvii ,,:5 ,,travel+ #bfh ,,xxviii ,,9 ,,sport #bhj ,,xxix ,,mrs4 ,,newlyri* ,,& ,,h] ,,social ,,duties #bia ,,xxx ,,delicate ,,po9ts ,,= ,,our ,,girl #cjf ,,xxxi ,,our ,,own ,,& ,,o!r ,,p',s ,,*ildr5 #cae ,,xxxii ,,our ,,neighbors #cbc ,,xxxiii ,,*ur* ,,& ,,p>i% #cbi ,,xxxiv ,,! ,,woman',s ,,club #ccg ,,xxxv ,,*>ities1 ,,public ,,& ,,private #cdg ,,xxxvi ,,c\rtesy ,,f ,,! ,,"y ,,to ,,! ,,old #cee ,,xxxvii ,,mi/ress ,,& ,,maid #cfc ,,xxxviii ,,! ,,woman ,,)\t ,a ,,maid #cga ,,xxxix ,,woman ,,9 ,,bus9ess ,,relations #chj ,,xl ,a ,,f9ancial ,,/udy ,,= ,,our ,,"y ,,c\ple #chg ,,xli ,,m ,,talk ,,ab\t ,,all[ances #cie ,,xlii ,a ,,few ,,( ,,! ,,little ,,?+s ,,t ,,are ,,big ,,?+s #cii ,,xliii ,,on ,,mann] #dah ,,xliv ,,self-,,help ,,& ,,obs]vation #dbf ,,index #dcc ,,m>ion ,,h>l&',s ,,complete ,,etiquette ,,complete ,,etiquette ,,*apt] ,i ,,s5d+ ,,& ,,receiv+ ,,invitations ,,! s5d+ & receiv+ ( invitations und]lies social obligations4 ,x !re=e behooves bo? s5d]s & recipi5ts to le>n ! prop] =m 9 :i* ^! evid5ces ( hospitality %\ld be despat*$ & receiv$4 ,9 ! majority ( cases an invitation dem&s an answ]4 ,if "o is 9 d\bt1 x is well to err on ! side ( ackn[l$g+ an invitation1 r ?an on t ( ignor+ x altoge!r4 99 99 99 99 99 ,we w consid] fir/ su* invitations z dem& no acceptance b :i* call = regrets if "o c n accept4 ,su* are c>ds to 8,at ,home0 days1 to teas & to l>ge receptions4 ,unless any "o ( ^! be>s on its face ! lett]s 8,r4 s4 v4 p40 7,rpondez1 s'il v\s plat--,answ] if y please7 no acceptance is requir$4 ,if "o c n att5d ! function1 "o %\ld s5d "o's c>d s t "o's fri5d w receive x on ! day ( h] affair4 ,sid5ote3 ,,c>ds ,,= ,,an ,,at ,,home ,! c>ds = an 8,at ,home0 are issu$ ab\t t5 days be=e ! function4 ,!y be> ! ho/ess' "n alone1 unless h] husb& is to receive ) h]1 9 :i* case ! c>d may be> ! two names1 z 8,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,james ,smi?40 ,! av]age ,am]ican man does n1 h[ev]1 figure at 8 wife's 8,at ,homes0 :5 ^! are held 9 ! aft]noon4 ,! exig5cies ( c\nt+-room & (fice hold him 9 ?rall too (t5 = him to be dep5d$ on = su* an occasion4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a pla91 heavy cream c>d1 simply engrav$1 is n[ us$ = mo/ =mal invitations 9 pref]5ce to ! engrav$ notes t 7 ! rule t5 ye>s ago4 ,! c>d be>s 9 ! l[] "r-h& corn] ! address ( ! ent]ta9]2 9 ! l[] left-h& corn] ! date & ! h\rs ( ! affair1--z 8,w$nesday1 ,octob] ! n9ete5?10 & "u ?is 8,f f\r until sev5 o'clock40 ,if ! tea be giv5 9 honor ( a fri5d1 or to introduce a /rang]1 ! c>d ( ?is p]son is enclos$ ) t ( ! ho/ess1 if ! affair be r in=mal4 ,if1 h[ev]1 x be a =mal reception x is well to h engrav$ ^u ! c>d ( ! ho/ess1 directly "u h] own "n1 8,to meet ,miss ,smi?40 ,if a woman wi%es to be at home = a gue/ unexpect$ly arriv$1 & !re is n "t = ! engrav+ ( c>ds1 or if %e pref]s to be in=mal1 %e may simply use h] visit+-c>d1 writ+ ! "n ( h] gue/ b5ea? h] own1 & add+ ! date on :i* %e w receive1 & ! h\rs1 9 ! l[] left-h& corn]4 ,x is und]/ood1 ( c\rse1 t abbreviations--) ! exception ( 8,p4 p4 c40 & 8,r4 s4 v4 p40--are nev] to be us$ on invitations & social notes4 ,! recipi5t1 if s5d+ c>ds in/ead ( att5d+1 encloses a c>d = ! gue/ or fri5d :om %e has be5 invit$ to meet4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,ev5+ ,,reception ,! c>ds = an ev5+ reception may be issu$ 9 ! same /yle4 ,if n1 !y are 9 ! =m ( a regul> invitation1 & 9 ! ?ird p]son1 z3 8,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,james ,smi? ,reque/ ! pleasure ( ,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,br[n's company ,on ,w$nesday ev5+1 ,octob] ! n9ete5?1 ,f eight to elev5 o'clock4 #b ,we/ ,cl>k ,/reet40 ,if ?is =mal invitation be>s 8,r4 s4 v4 p40 9 "o corn]1 x %\ld be accept$ 9 ! same p]son 9 :i* x is writt51 ?us3 8,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,john ,br[n accept ) pleasure ,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,smi?'s invitation = ,w$nesday ev5+1 ,octob] ! n9ete5?40 ,! reply to an invitation1 :e!r =mal or in=mal1 %\ld1 to gu>d aga9/ misund]/&+1 always explicitly repeat ! date & ! h\r4 ,x is h>dly to be suppos$ t any p]son :o reads ?is book w be guilty ( ! outrage\s solecism ( sign+ 8 or h] "n to an invitation writt5 9 ! ?ird p]son4 ,b su* ?+s h be5 done6 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,abbreviations ,,& ,,figures ,! lett]s 8,r4 s4 v4 p40 are (t5 writt5 or engrav$ entirely 9 capitals4 ,?is is incorrect4 ,"s p pref] to disp5se ) !m altoge!r & to express !mselves 9 ! simpl] fa%ion1 8,! favor ( an answ] is reque/$40 ,x w be notic$ t figures are avoid$4 ,! day ( ! week1 & su* words z 8/reet0 & 8av5ue0 mu/ appe> 9 full4 ,"s p ev5 write out ! ye> 9 words1 b ?is looks heavy4 ,nev] use 8,city0 or 8,t[n0 on an envelope 9 place ( ! "n ( ! city4 ,to ann\nce an 8,at ,home0 ?r\gh ! newspap]s is to be avoid$4 ,9 case ( ! sudd5 desc5t ( a fri5d :o w rema9 = two or ?ree days only x may be done4 ,9 t case "o mu/ add t !re are no invitations1 o!rwise "o's fri5ds may n und]/&4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,dances ,,& ,,teas ,invitations to dances are (t5 issu$ 9 ! same =m z ^? to teas1 ) 8,danc+0 writt5 or engrav$ 9 ! corn] ( ! c>d4 ,z ) teas1 s ) ev5+ receptions1 a decl9ature mu/ be s5t 9 ! %ape ( a c>d deliv]$ on ! day ( ! function4 ,! cu/om t "s p]sons foll[ ( writ+ 8,regrets0 on su* a c>d is n good =m4 ,an invitation to a c>d-p>ty1 no matt] h[ in=mal1 always dem&s an answ]1 z ! ent]ta9] wi%es to "k h[ _m tables to provide1 & ! numb] ( play]s %e c c\nt on4 99 99 99 99 99 ,c>ds to *ur* w$d+s dem& no answ] unless ! w$d+ be a small "o & ! invitations are writt5 by ! bride or "o ( ! relatives1 9 :i* case ! acceptance or regret mu/ be writt5 at once1 & ?anks express$ = ! honor4 ,a 8cru%0 *ur* w$d+ is ! "o function t dem&s no reply ( any k9d4 ,if "o c g1 well & good4 ,if "o does n g "o w n be miss$ f ! cr[d t w ?rong ! edifice4 ,an invitation to a home w$d+ or a breakfa/ dem&s an answ] & ?anks = ! honor4 ,sid5ote3 ,,address+ ,,! ,,envelopes ,:ile on ! subject ( invitations to l>ge or =mal affairs1 x may be well to t\* on a po9t conc]n+ :i* _m correspond5ts write lett]s ( agoniz$ inquiry1--! address+ ( envelopes to ! diff]5t memb]s ( a family4 ,! "q1 8,may "o invitation be s5t to an entire family1 consi/+ ( p>5ts1 sons & daught]s80 is ask$ aga9 & aga94 ,to ea* ( ^! an emphatic 8,no60 is ! answ]4 ,if any p]son is to be honor$ by an invitation to a function1 he %\ld be honor$ by an invitation s5t 9 ! prop] way4 ,"o c>d %\ld be s5t to 8,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,blank02 ano!r to ! 8,misses ,blank10 /ill ano!r to ea* son ( ! family4 ,"o c =esee ! day :5 ea* unm>ri$ daught] w expect h] own c>d1 s rapidly is fem99e individuality develop+4 ,ea* invitation is enclos$ 9 a sep>ate envelope1 b1 if desir$1 all ^! envelopes may be enclos$ 9 a l>g] out] "o address$ to ! head ( ! h\se4 99 99 99 99 99 ,! mo/ important invitation1--"o dem&+ an imm$iate answ]1--is t to a d9n] or lun*eon1 be ?is =mal or in=mal4 ,= /ately =mal d9n]s1 engrav$ invitations 9 ! ?ird p]son are s5t4 ,b x is q z good =m1 & 9 appe>ance mu* m hospitable & complim5t>y1 = ! ho/ess h]self to write p]sonal notes ( invitation to ea* gue/4 ,^! may be 9 ! simple/ language1 z3 8,my de> ,miss ,dorr3 8,w y give ,mr4 ,br[n & myself ! pleasure ( hav+ y at d9n] ) u on ,?ursday ev5+1 ,decemb] ! six?8 ,we s9c]ely hope t y w be among ^? :om we see at our table t night4 ,d9n] w be s]v$ at sev5 o'clock4 8,cordially y\rs1 8,l\ise ,br[n40 ,an invitation to a m>ri$ woman %\ld always include h]self & h] husb&1 b x is address$ to h] because x is ! woman :o is suppos$ to h *>ge ( ! social cal5d> ( ! family4 ,?is note may read3 8,my de> ,mrs4 ,aikman3 8,w y & ,mr4 ,aikman honor u by be+ our gue/s at d9n] on ,?ursday ev5+1 ,decemb] ! six?1 at sev5 o'clock8 ,s9c]ely hop+ to see y at t "t1 ,i rema91 8,cordially y\rs1 8,l\ise ,br[n40 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,s+le ,,man ,a note ( invitation to a s+le man is writt5 9 ! same way4 ,if ! d9n] be giv5 to any p>ticul> gue/ or gue/s1 ?is fact %\ld be m5tion$ 9 ! invitation4 ,z1 = in/ance1 8,w y d9e ) u to meet ,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,b>r[s10 & s =?4 ,s+le m5 :o are w>mly appreciative ( d9n] invitations & :o =esee no opportunity 9 ! ne> future to return ! hospitality (f]$ to !m1 frequ5tly s5d a box ( fl[]s to _! ho/ess on ! day ( h] ent]ta9m5t4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,invitation ,,to ,,d9n] ,z soon z practicable aft] ! receipt ( a d9n] invitation1 ! recipi5t %\ld write a cordial note4 ,if accept+ %e %\ld express ?anks & ! pleasure %e 7or h] husb& & %e7 w take 9 be+ pres5t at ! "t m5tion$4 ,z a rule ! decision to accept or decl9e %\ld be z absolute z x is imm$iate4 ,only ! greate/ intimacy & extraord9>y circum/ances w>rant ! reque/ t an invitation be held op5 ev5 = a day4 ,! ho/ess mu/ make h] arrangem5ts & %e c n d s until %e has he>d def9itely f all ^? %e has ask$4 ,if a decl9ature is necess>y1 let x be 9 ! =m ( a recognition ( ! honor convey$ 9 ! invitation1 & g5u9e regret at ! impossibility ( accept+ x4 ,?is may be word$ some:at 9 ! foll[+ way3 8,my de> ,mrs4 ,br[n3 8,mr4 ,aikman & ,i regret s9c]ely t a previ\s engagem5t makes x impossible = u to accept y\r delightful invitation = ,decemb] ! six?4 ,we ?ank y = c\nt+ u among ^? :o are s happy z to be y\r gue/s on t ev5+1 & only wi% t we c\ld be ) y4 8,cordially & regretfully y\rs1 8,jane ,aikman40 ,sid5ote3 ,,d9n] ,,engagem5ts ,,b9d+ ,no matt] h[ in=mal a d9n] is to be1 if ! invitation is once accept$1 no?+ mu/ be all[$ to int]f]e ) "o's att5dance unless "o is s ill t "o's physician absolutely =bids "o leav+ ! h\se4 ,"s wit said t a man's only excuse = non-att5dance at su* a function is 8 dea?1 9 :i* case he %\ld s5d 8 obitu>y notice z an explanation4 ,c]ta9 x is t no?+ %ort ( "o's own sev]e illness or ! dang]\s illness ( a memb] ( ! family %\ld int]f]e ) "o's att5dance at a d9n]4 ,%\ld su* a cont+5cy arise1 a telegram or telephone message %\ld be s5t imm$iately t ! ho/ess may try to engage ano!r gue/ to take ! place ( ! "o :o is unavoidably prev5t$ f be+ pres5t4 ,:5 x becomes necess>y to ask a gue/ to fill su* a vacancy1 ! ho/ess w d be/ to expla9 ! situation frankly1 :ile ! gue/ on 8 "p ne$ feel no slight at ! lat5ess ( 8 invitation4 ,a clev] woman always has sev]al p]sons on :om %e c rely = su* em]g5cies & ^: good nature %e does n fail to rew>d4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,lun*eon ,all ! rules t apply to ! s5d+ & receiv+ ( invitations to a d9n] prevail ) reg>d to a lun*eon4 ,x is next 9 importance z a function1 & ! acceptance or decl9ature ( a lett] reque/+ t "o %\ld att5d x mu/ be promptly despat*$4 ,9 plann+ any social affair ! ho/ess %\ld ?9k twice ab\t ask+ toge!r p :o h = a long "t liv$ 9 ! same neighborhood or :o are old resid5ts ( ! city 9 any "p b :o are n app>5tly 9 ! habit ( see+ "o ano!r4 ,sometimes x is saf] to ask "o's prospective gue/s outright if x w be agreeable = !m to meet4 ,be=e clos+ ?is *apt] we %\ld l to rem9d ! possible gue/ t an invitation is int5d$ z an honor4 ,! function to :i* "o is ask$ may be all t is mo/ bor+1 & ! fle% & _s may %r9k f att5d+ x4 ,b if "o decl9es :at is meant z a complim5t1 let "o d s 9 a mann] t %[s "o appreciates ! honor int5d$4 ,to decl9e z if ! p]son ext5d+ ! invitation 7 a bit presumptu\s 9 giv+ x1 or to accept 9 a condesc5d+ mann]1 is a lapse t %[s a common /ra9 "u a rec5tly-acquir$ poli%4 ,a ?or\ghbr$ accepts & decl9es all invitations z ?\gh he 7 honor$ by ! att5tion4 ,9 do+ s he %[s himself wor?y to receive any complim5t t may "u any circum/ances be ext5d$ to him4 ,w\ld t m ( ! /ruggl]s up ,society's ladd]s w\ld appreciate ?is tru?6 99 99 99 99 99 ,if a woman wi%es to give any o!r special =m ( ent]ta9m5t ?an a dance1 %e writes ! suitable ^w1 8,music10 8,bridge10 8,g>d5-p>ty10 etc41 9 place ( ! ^w 8,danc+40 ,= a d9n] dance "o s5ds a note or an engrav$ c>d ) 8,danc+ at t50 or 8,cotillion at elev50 9 ! corn]1 to ! comp>atively small numb] ask$ to d9e4 ,! gue/s ask$ = ! dance receive only an 8,at ,home0 c>d1 ) ! ann\ncem5t 8,danc+ at t50 9 ! corn]4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,tea-,,dance ,! tea-dance or ?-dansant has rec5tly be5 reviv$4 ,?is calls = an 8,at ,home0 c>d & ! ^w 8,danc+0 9 ! corn]4 ,x is m]ely an ord9>y aft]noon tea at :i* space & music are provid$ = ! "y p to :irl ab\t4 ,"s p :o ent]ta9 =mally a great deal keep on h& a supply ( l>ge engrav$ c>ds ) a space left blank 9 :i* ! "n ( ! gue/ is writt54 ,?is is c]ta9ly a "t-sav+ cu/om1 b ! appe>ance ( su* a c>d is less elegant ?an "o :olly engrav$1 :ile on ! o!r h& x lacks ! real cordiality ( ! writt5 note4 ,aim+ at a comb9$ effect1 x h>dly a*ieves ei!r ( ! ?+s desir$4 ,a m9or b amus+ blund] sometimes made by ?\ghtless p]sons consi/s 9 invit+ gue/s 8=0 d9n]4 ,! ducks & salad1 ices & cakes are = d9n]2 ! gue/s %\ld be ask$ to x4 ,a woman may take an out-(-t[n visitor to any l>ge affair )\t obta9+ p]mission be=eh&1 b %e w ( c\rse1 9 speak+ to h] ho/ess1 express appreciation ( ! pleasant opportunity ?us af=d$ to h] gue/4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,c>ds ,,aft] ,a ,,dea? ,aft] a dea? has tak5 place1 "o w n = a mon? or six weeks intrude on ! seclusion ( ! family by s5d+ any social invitations4 ,aft] t "t1 h[ev]1 !y %\ld be s5t z usual4 ,x is ! p]sonal privilege ( ! b]eav$ to det]m9e h[ soon & to :at ext5t !y w resume _! relations ) society4 ,if "o is 9 m\rn+ "o c n ( c\rse ) propriety become a memb] ( any gay company1 b n[adays m\rn+ is n always assum$ ev5 by ! mo/ griev\sly /rick54 ,if su* p]sons f9d _! burd5 m easily borne by ! resumption1 z f> z may be1 ( _! normal activities1 x is ! "p ( k9dness to aid !m 9 mak+ ?is resumption z easy & natural z possible4 ,x is n[ consid]$ correct to s5d all invitations by mail1 ?\gh 9 "s s\!rn places ! m elegant--if difficult--me?od ( deliv]+ !m by ! h& ( a s]vant is /ill *]i%$4 ,_m in=mal invitations are n[ ext5d$ by telephone4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,h[ ,,invitations ,,beg9 ,d9n] & w$d+ invitations & c>ds = ev5+ receptions are issu$ 9 ! names ( bo? ho/ & ho/ess4 ,= a ball or a g>d5-p>ty ! "n ( ! ho/ess may appe> alone1 ?\gh ?is is n usual4 ,a "y girl %\ld nev] ann\nce any b ! smalle/ & mo/ in=mal p>ties 9 h] own "n4 ,yet _m "y girls d s1 ignor+ _! mo!rs & contribut+ unwitt+ly to our national reputation = bad mann]s4 ,a bi%op & 8 wife1 if !y are issu+ c>ds to a l>ge reception1 (t5 d x 9 ?is way3 8,! ,bi%op ( ,indiana & ,mrs4 ,h]e=d reque/ ! honor10 etc4 ,an invitation %\ld nev] beg9 8,y are cordially invit$10 etc4 ,x %\ld always be issu$ 9 ! "n ( "s p]son or p]sons4 8,! ,m5's ,club invites y0 or 8,! ,diocesan ,society reque/s ! honor (0 is good =m4 ,,*apt] ,,ii ,,c>ds ,,& ,,calls ,,! /yles ( call+-c>ds *ange f ye> to ye>1 ev5 f season to season1 s t x is impossible to make h>d-&-fa/ rules z to ! size & ?ickness ( ! bits ( pa/ebo>d1 or ! script ) :i* !y are engrav$4 ,any good /ation] c give "o ! desir$ in=mation on ^! po9ts4 ,9 *oos+ a c>d plate x is well to select a /yle ( script s simple yet elegant t x w n be outr sev]al seasons h5ce1 unless "o's purse w all[ "o to revise "o's plate ) ea* *ange ( fa%ion4 ,x %\ld n be necess>y to rem>k t a pr9t$ c>d is an atrocity4 ,ev5 a man's bus9ess-c>d %\ld be engrav$1 n pr9t$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,x is no long] consid]$ prop] = "o c>d to be> ! husb&'s & wife's names toge!r1 z 0 a few ye>s ago ! mode1 ?us1--8,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,*>les ,sprague40 ,/ill1 "s p]sons h a few c>ds ?us m>k$ & use !m 9 s5d+ gifts f husb& & wife4 ,z a rule1 h[ev]1 ! husb&'s c>d is enclos$ 9 an envelope ) t ( 8 wife 9 s5d+ gifts1 regrets & ! l4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,c>d ,,( ,a ,,matron ,! c>d ( a matron be>s h] husb&'s full "n unless %e is a divorce1 ?us1--8,mrs4 ,george ,williams ,br[n40 ,ev5 wid[s reta9 ?is /yle ( address4 ,9 ! l[] "r-h& corn] is ! address1 & 9 ! l[] left-h& corn] "o's 8at home0 days are nam$1 z 8,tuesdays until ,l5t10 or 8,w$nesdays 9 ,febru>y & ,m>*10 or 8,?ursdays until ,may40 99 99 99 99 99 ,nicknames & abbreviations are = intimate use only & %\ld nev] appe> on c>ds or invitations4 ,a girl %\ld di/+ui% betwe5 8,kitty0 & 8,ka?>9e10 8,s>ah0 & 8,sallie40 ,h[ev]1 9 ! s\? _m girls are *ri/5$ 8,sallie10 & ?is is accept$ z h] full & prop] "n accord+ly4 ,a "y woman's c>ds be> h] "n1 8,miss ,blank10 if %e be ! olde/ or only daught] 9 ! family4 ,! address on h] c>ds is 9 ! l[] left-h& corn]4 ,if %e has an old] si/] ! c>d reads 8,miss ,m>y ,hilton ,blank40 99 99 99 99 99 ,a man's c>d is mu* small] ?an t ( a woman & (t5 has no address on x1 unless x be a bus9ess-c>d1 :i* mu/ nev] be us$ = social purposes4 ,! 8,mr40 is put be=e ! signature z1 8,mr4 ,james ,john ,smi?40 ,by ! "t a boy is eighte5 he is consid]$ old en\gh to h 8 c>ds m>k$ ) ! prefix 8,mr40 ,until t "t1 he is1 on ! r>e occasions :5 he is =mally address$1 8,ma/]40 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,use ,,( ,,titles ,a cl]gyman's c>d is correctly engrav$ ?us3 8,! ,rev]5d ,james ,v]non ,smi?40 ,a bi%op is entitl$ to ! great] di/9ction1 8,! ,"r ,rev]5d40 ,a physician or a judge may use 8 title or n z he pref]s4 ,army & navy (fic]s inv>iably employ !irs except :5 ! rank is z l[ z t ( a lieut5ant1 :5 ! full "n1 prefix$ by 8,mr40 is us$1 & bel[ x1 8,lieut5ant ( ,?ird ,cavalry1 ,unit$ ,/ates ,army40 99 99 99 99 99 ,a woman ) a daught]-9-law mov+ 9 society 9 ! same city z h]self may ) propriety h h] c>d engrav$ simply 8,mrs4 ,br[n40 ,or %e may foll[ ! graceful =eign cu/om & be kn[n z 8,madame ,br[n10 :i* gives a pretty t\* ( dignity & makes x easy = call]s to designate :i* ( ! two ladies !y wi% to see if bo? are liv+ 9 ! same h\se4 ,a m>ri$ woman nev] takes h] husb&'s title1 no matt] :at t may be4 ,%e is nev] 8,mrs4 ,judge ----0 or 8,mrs4 ,colonel ----40 ,ev5 ! presid5t's wife is simply 8,mrs4 ,clevel&0 or 8,mrs4 ,h>rison40 ,sid5ote3 ,,address+ ,,! ,,presid5t ,9 direct address1 ! presid5t ( ! ,unit$ ,/ates is 8,mr4 ,presid5t40 ,! vice-presid5t is 8,mr4 ----40 ,memb]s ( ! cab9et are 8,secret>y ,a40 or 8,secret>y ,b410 :5 introduc$1 & are address$ z 8,mr4 ,secret>y40 ,s5ators are always address$ by _! titles1 b repres5tatives are 8,mr40 ,except 9 naval & milit>y circles titles expire ) (fice4 ,! man :o 0 gov]nor or mayor la/ ye> %\ld n be introduc$ z 8,ex-gov]nor ----10 8,ex-mayor ----40 99 99 99 99 99 ,p]haps !re is no social obligation t is m neglect$ & ignor$ ?an t ( call+ at prop] times & regul> int]vals4 ,9 ! ru% & hurry ( ,am]ican life1 x is well-nigh impossible = ! busy woman to p]=m h] duty 9 ?is l9e unless %e h a c]ta9 degree ( sy/em ab\t x4 ,to ?is end %e %\ld keep a regul> call+-li/ or book1 & pay /rict he$ to ! debit & cr$it columns4 ,x w require mu* managem5t & ?\ght to arrange h] visits s t !y w always fall on ! 8,at ,home0 days ( h] acqua9tances4 ,:5 a woman has an 8,at ,home0 day x is an unw>rantable lib]ty = any "o to call at any o!r "t unless x be on bus9ess1 or by special invitation1 or p]mission4 ,z _m wom5 h ! same day at home "o mu/ limit ! l5g? ( a call to fifte5 or tw5ty m9utes ^u a casual acqua9tance1 nev] mak+ x long] ?an half an h\r ev5 at ! h\se ( a fri5d4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,h[ ,,to ,,say ,,good-,,by ,"o %\ld le>n to take "o's dep>ture on a rem>k ( "o's own1 n hurry+ away ! mom5t "o's fri5d ceases to talk4 ,on ! o!r h& l+]+ good-bys 9 ord9>y int]c\rse are a mi/ake & sugge/ t "o lacks ! f9esse necess>y to manage a polite )drawal4 ,an amus+ /ory 0 told 9 a rec5t magaz9e--& v\*$ = z true--9 :i* two "y s\!rn lads mak+ _! fir/ =mal call1 7 driv5 to /ay all night because !y c\ld n get away--!y 7 s timid4 99 99 99 99 99 ,"s p]sons seem to feel t !re is a c]ta9 am\nt ( pomp & circum/ance ab\t call+ on an 8,at ,home0 day1 & ! novice 9 society asks timidly :at %e is to d at su* a "t4 ,%e is to d simply :at %e w\ld d on any o!r day :5 %e is sure ( f9d+ h] ho/ess 9 & dis5gag$4 ,! call] h&s h] c>d to ! s]vant op5+ ! door2 !n ent]s ! p>lor1 greets h] ho/ess1 :o w probably introduce h] to any o!r gue/s :o happ5 to be pres5t1 unless !re be a l>ge numb] ( ^!1 9 :i* case %e w probably be introduc$ to a few 9 h] imm$iate vic9ity4 ,! call] w *at = a few m9utes1 take a cup ( tea1 c(fee or *ocolate (f]$ h]1 ) a biscuit1 s&wi* or piece ( cake1 or decl9e all refre%m5t if %e pref]s4 ,at ! end ( fifte5 or tw5ty m9utes1 %e w rise1 say 8,good aft]noon0 to h] ho/ess1 murmur a 8,good aft]noon0 to ! company 9 g5]al & take h] dep>ture4 ,if h] c>d has n be5 tak5 by ! s]vant :o op5$ ! door = h]1 ! call] may lay x on ! hall table z %e goes out4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,refre%m5ts ,,= ,,call]s ,:5 a woman is at home "o day a week = sev]al mon?s1 %e is expect$ to make v little prep>ation 9 ! way ( refre%m5t = h] *ance gue/s4 ,! tea tray is ready on ! tea-table at "o side ( ! room1 & ^u x are cups & sauc]s1 teapot1 cani/] & hot-wat] kettle4 ,a plate ( ?9 bread & butt]1 or s&wi*es1 or biscuits1 & ano!r ( sweet waf]s or fancy cakes1 /& on ?is table4 ,sug> & cream & slic$ lemon complete ! outfit4 ,! kettle is kept boil+ t fre% tea may be made :5 requir$1 & a s]vant ent]s :5 ne$$ to take out ! us$ cups4 ,if !re are _m call]s1 ! s]vices ( ?is maid may be requir$ to assi/ 9 pass+ cups1 & sug> & cream4 ,o!rwise ! ho/ess may att5d to su* matt]s h]self1 *att+ pleasantly z %e does s4 ,x is n incumb5t on a call] to take any?+ to eat or dr9k unless %e wi%es to d ?is4 ,:5 "o att5ds half-a-doz5 su* 8,at ,homes0 9 an aft]noon "o w\ld h to c>ry a bag l t worn by ,jack ! ,giant-,kill] ( fairy lore1 if "o 7 to accept refre%m5ts at ea* h\se4 ,! ho/ess %\ld1 !re=e1 nev] insi/ t a gue/ eat & dr9k if %e has decl9$ to d s4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,h[ ,,_m ,,c>ds ,,to ,,leave ,9 call+ on a m>ri$ woman a matron leaves "o ( h] own c>ds & two ( h] husb&'s4 ,h] c>d is = ! ho/ess1 "o ( h] husb&'s is = ! ho/ess & ! o!r = ! man ( ! h\se4 ,if !re be sev]al ladies 9 ! family1 z = in/ance1 a "m & two daught]s1 ! call] leaves "o ( h] own & "o ( h] husb&'s c>ds = ea* woman1 & an extra c>d f h] husb& = ea* man ( ! h\sehold4 ,?is is ! g5]al rule1 b x mu/ h "s exceptions4 ,= in/ance1 9 a h\sehold :]e !re are five or six wom5 x is ridicul\s to leave an entire pack ( visit+-c>ds4 ,9 ?is case a woman leaves h] c>d = 8! ladies10 & leaves x ) h] husb&'s1 also = 8! ladies40 ,"o ( 8 c>ds is also left = ! man ( ! family4 ,or if !re be sev]al m5 x may be left simply = 8! g5tlem540 ,if "o kn[s t !re is a gue/ /ay+ at a h\se at :i* "o calls1 "o mu/ s5d 9 "o's c>d = ?is gue/4 ,or1 if "o h a fri5d /ay+ 9 ! same t[n ) "o1 & "o calls on h]1 x is a brea* ( good bre$+ n to inquire = ! fri5d's ho/ess & leave a c>d = h] :e!r %e appe> or n4 99 99 99 99 99 ,:5 an engagem5t is made kn[n ! memb]s ( ! man's family %\ld imm$iately call on 8 fiance & h] family1 & a =mal d9n] %\ld be giv5 = !m )9 two weeks4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,black-,,edg$ ,,c>d ,cu/om cl+s to ! black-edg$ c>d = ^? 9 m\rn+4 ,x has its uses & surely its abuses4 ,= ^? 9 deep m\rn+ x is a conv5i5ce to s5d 9 ! =m ( regrets1 z ! black edge gives suffici5t reason 9 itself = ! non-acceptance ( invitations4 ,x may also be s5t ) gifts to fri5ds4 ,if "o uses x z a call+-c>d ! bord] %\ld be v n>r[4 ,if "o is 9 su* deep m\rn+ t "o's c>d mu/ appe> ) a half-in* ( black ar\nd x1 "o is c]ta9ly 9 too deep m\rn+ to pay calls4 ,until ! black edge c be r$uc$ to ! less o/5tati\s eigh?-(-an-in* wid?1 ! own] w\ld d well to %un society4 ,nor %\ld a black-edg$ c>d accompany an invitation to a social function4 ,sev]al seasons ago a matron introduc$ to society 9 a l>ge city a niece :o _h1 eighte5 mon?s be=e1 lo/ a bro!r4 ,) ! ho/ess' invitations to ! reception 0 enclos$ ! c>d ( ! "y gue/1 & ?is c>d _h a black bord] an eigh? ( an in* wide4 ,! recipi5ts ( ! invitations 7 to be p>don$ if !y wond]$ a bit at ! incongruity ( a p]son 9 m\rn+ receiv+ at a l>ge p>ty4 ,"u ! circum/ances %e %\ld h decl9$ to h ! social function giv5 9 h] honor1 or %\ld h laid aside h] insignia ( dolor4 ,if1 !n1 "o has rea*$ ! po9t :]e "o is ready to re5t] society1 let "o give up ! m\rn+-c>ds & aga9 use pla9 :ite bits ( pa/ebo>d4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,call+ ,,aft] ,a ,,dea? ,9 call+ at a h\se aft] a b]eavem5t1 x is well1 except :5 ! afflict$ "o is an intimate fri5d1 to leave ! c>d ) a message ( sympa?y at ! door4 ,"o may1 if "o wi%es1 leave fl[]s ) ! c>d4 ,a =tnight aft] ! fun]al "o may call & ask to see ! ladies ( ! family1 add+ t if !y d n feel l see+ call]s !y w please n ?9k ( com+ d[n4 ,"u su* circum/ances only a sup]s5sitive p]son w be hurt by receiv+ ! message t ! ladies beg to be excus$1 & t !y are grateful = ! k9d ?\ght t prompt$ ! call4 ,! rule t we h j giv5 applies to ! h\sehold 9 :i* !re is s]i\s illness4 ,a call may consi/ ( an inquiry at ! door1 & leav+ a c>d4 ,?is may be accompani$ by "s su* message z1 8,please express my s9c]e hope t ,mrs4 ,smi? w soon be bett]1 & assure ,mr4 ,smi? t if ,i c be ( any s]vice to him1 or ,mrs4 ,smi?1 ,i %all be grateful if he w let me "k40 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,mak+ ,,p>ty ,,calls ,"o %\ld always return a fir/ call )9 ?ree weeks aft] x has be5 made4 ,aft] a d9n]1 lun*eon or c>d-p>ty1 a call mu/ be made )9 a =tnight4 ,an aft]noon tea requires no 8p>ty call40 ,aft] a l>ge reception "o may call )9 ! mon?4 ,aft] a w$d+ reception "o mu/ call )9 a =tnight on ! "m ( ! bride1 & on ! bride on h] 8,at ,home0 day z soon z possible aft] h] return f ! w$d+ trip4 ,if "o is 9 d\bt z to ! propriety ( call+ aft] an invitation1 x is bett] to err on ! side ( mak+ ! call4 ,"o's c\rte\s int5tion w surely be appreciat$ :ile n to call may seem an unp>donable omission4 99 99 99 99 99 ,9 ! case ( an invitation ext5d$ )\t a fir/ call hav+ be5 made1 wom5 sometimes express d\bt z to ! c\rse !y %\ld pursue4 ,9 ! fir/ place !y w d well to realize t "s ( ! p :o ent]ta9 mo/ delightfully are extremely busy p to :om ! rigid r\t9e ( =mal etiquette w\ld be an intol]able burd54 ,a clev] woman is kn[n by no?+ m c]ta9ly ?an by ! un]r+ in/9ct ) :i* %e relaxes h] dem&s 9 su* in/ances4 ,if ! woman :o wi%es to ent]ta9 encloses h] own c>d ?is may be accept$ z a sub/itute = ! usual fir/ call4 ,! social value ( "o d9n] invitation transc5ds _m calls4 ,ev5 if ! visit+-c>d is n enclos$ ! recipi5t ( ! invitation w--if %e be a s5sible woman--accept if %e really wi%es to d s4 ,at ?is po9t1 h[ev]1 social usage %\ld beg9 to ass]t itself & ! invit$ "o %\ld n fail to make ! cu/om>y call ( appreciation aft] ! 8p>ty40 ,if "o does n wi% to make ! acqua9tance (f]$ a =mal note ( decl9ation w s]ve to disc\rage fur!r intrusion4 ,sid5ote3 ,,exceptions ,,to ,,social ,,rules ,a r surpris+ "q sometimes ask$ is :e!r "o %\ld call aft] a d9n] or dance invitation t has be5 decl9$4 ,c]ta9ly1 ! call %\ld be made4 ,"o has be5 honor$ by "o's fri5ds & ! fact t "o 0 prev5t$ by circum/ances f actually enjoy+ _! hospitality makes no diff]5ce :atev] ) "o's responsibility = express+ appreciation4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a c>d ) a message writt5 on x fills _m conv5i5t social ne$s b x %\ld nev] be us$ to take ! place ( a =mal note4 ,s employ$ x sugge/s ha/e & a degree ( indiff]5ce t are contr>y to ! be/ bre$+4 ,! corn]s ( c>ds are no long] turn$ d[n = any purpose4 ,if "o1 on call+1 is told by ! s]vant op5+ ! door t 8,mrs4 ,br[n is n at home10 ?is does n mean lit]ally t ,mrs4 ,br[n is ( necessity out ( ! h\se1 nei!r does x mean t ! s]vant has be5 in/ruct$ to tell an untru?4 8,n at home0 is an accept$ abbreviation = 8,n at home to visitors40 ,!re are ^? to :om ! phrase w1 h[ev]1 always h a disagreeable r+1 & if ,mrs4 ,br[n h m tact & orig9ality ?an ! conv5tions dem& %e w probably direct h] maid to say in/ead1 8,mrs4 ,br[n is n receiv+ to-day4 ,%e receives on ,mondays40 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,:o ,,%\ld ,,call ,,fir/ ,:o calls fir/8 ,! cu/om ( resid5ts call+ on ! newcom] is s firmly e/abli%$ 9 almo/ all communities t "o may wond] at ! "q be+ ask$4 ,yet 9 ,wa%+ton--t is to say1 9 (ficial ,wa%+ton1 ?is cu/om is rev]s$1 & x is ! newcom] :o calls at ! ,:ite ,h\se1 on ! vice-presid5t1 memb]s ( ! cab9et1 etc4 ,9 ! case ( ! highe/ (ficials a return call is n expect$ b ! c\rtesy is recogniz$ by an invitation to "s g5]al reception4 ,sid5ote3 ,,cu/om ,,9 ,,small ,,t[ns ,! h\rs = call+ v>y accord+ to ! community "o is 9--?\gh no aft]noon call %\ld be made be=e ?ree o'clock4 ,9 small t[ns & villages :]e supp] is eat5 at six o'clock1 "o %\ld n prolong a call aft] five-?irty4 ,ev5+ calls 9 mo/ ,am]ican cities are usually made at eight o'clock or soon aft]1 ?\gh 9 l>ge ea/]n places :]e d9n] is n s]v$ until sev51 sev5-?irty or eight1 ! n9e o'clock call is n unusual4 99 99 99 99 99 ,calls on ! sick %\ld be made ) ! greate/ discretion4 ,"o %\ld asc]ta9 9 ! fir/ place :e!r or n "o's fri5d w really be equal to see+ "o1 & !n /ay = a few mom5ts only4 ,sick-b$ visits especially %\ld n be all[$ to become visitations4 ,_m a p]son ) a *ance = recov]y has lit]ally be5 talk$ into 8 grave by well-mean+ call]s4 ,intellig5t nurses w quietly ask su* p to rema9 away4 ,,*apt] ,,iii ,,lett]-,,writ+ ,,! writ+ ( lett]s1 ( ! good old-fa%ion$ k9d1 is rapidly becom+ a ?+ ( ! pa/4 ,p us$ to write epi/les4 ,n[ !y write notes4 ,be=e ! days ( ! /5ograph]1 ! typewrit]1 ! telegraph & telephone1 :5 p made _! own clo!s by h&1 wove _! own %eets & _h no "t-sav+ ma*9es1 !y f\nd leisure to write epi/les to _! fri5ds4 ,"s ( u are s =tunate z to h /[$ away 9 an old trunk a bundle ( ^! productions4 ,! ink is pale & ! pap] yell[$1 b ! matt] is /ill int]e/+4 ,all ! news ( ! family1 ! neighborhood gossip1 ! late/ say+s & do+s ( ! *ildr5 & ( call]s1 an acc\nt ( ! books read1 ( ! m9i/]'s la/ s]mon & ( ! arrival ( ! newe/ ( _m olive bran*es1 fill$ pages4 ,:at mu/ ^! same pages h meant to ! exile f home6 ,& h[ mu* !re 0 9 su* lett]s to answ]6 ,/ill1 ev5 9 ?is day & g5]ation1 !re are a few p :o h s f> held to ! good old traditions t !y write g5u9e lett]s4 ,&--wond] ( wond]s6--!y answ] que/ions ask$ !m 9 lett]s writt5 by _! correspond5ts4 ,only ^? :o h writt5 que/ions to :i* !y desir$ prompt answ]s1 appreciate h[ madd5+ x is to receive a lett] t tells y ev]y?+ except ! answ]s to y\r qu]ies4 ,& ?is ignor+ ( ! epi/le "o is suppos$ to be answ]+ is a feature ( ! up-to-date lett]-writ]4 ,!re is1 ev5 9 fri5dly correspond5ce1 a "r & a wrong way ( do+ a ?+4 ,sid5ote3 ,,h[ ,,n ,,to ,,write ,! wrong1 & well-nigh univ]sal1 way ( treat+ a lett] is z foll[s3 ,x is read z rapidly z possible1 pigeonhol$ & =got4 ,weeks h5ce1 9 cle>+ out ! desk x is f\nd1 ! h&writ+ recogniz$1 & x is laid aside to be answ]$ lat]4 ,:5 t 8lat]0 comes dep5ds on ! leisure ( ! own]4 ,at la/ a s-call$ answ] is ha/ily writt5 )\t a second read+ ( ! lett] to :i* "o is reply+4 ,su* a reply beg9s ) an apology = a long & unavoidable sil5ce1 an acc\nt ( h[ cruelly busy "o is n[adays1 a pass+ m5tion ( ! numb] ( duties "o has to p]=m1 a wi% t ! two correspond5ts may meet 9 ! ne> future & a ru%+ f9al s5t5ce ( affection foll[$ by ! signature4 ,su* is ! mod]n lett]4 ,if a correspond5t is wor? hav+1 %e is wor? treat+ fairly4 ,let h] lett] be read c>efully1 & laid aside until su* "t z "o c h a half-h\r ( un9t]rupt$ writ+4 ,!n1 let ! lett] "o w\ld answ] be read1 & ! que/ions x conta9s be answ]$ 9 ord]1 & fir/ ( all4 ,?is is common c\rtesy4 ,aft] :i* "o may write z mu* z "t & incl9ation p]mit4 ,if "o has n ! "t to conduct "o's correspond5ce 9 ?is way1 let "o h few] correspond5ts4 ,x is m fair to !m & to "o's self4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,good-,,look+ ,,note ,color$ lett]-pap] is 9 bad =m unless ! color be a pale gray or a light blue4 ,f "t to "t1 /ation]s h put ^u ! m>ket pap] outr 9 design & color+1 & ! p]sons :o h us$ x 7 j :at might be expect$4 ,x rem9ds "o ( :at ,ri*>d ,grant ,:ite said ( ! words 8g5ts0 & 8pants0--he notic$ 8t ! "o g5]ally wore ! o!r40 ,s1 pap] t is su* bad =m z ?is is usually us$ by p]sons :o are 8bad =m40 ,all good-look+ notes h a consid]able m>g9 at ! left h&2 punctili\s p insi/ on a "r-h& m>g9 also4 ,sid5ote3 ,,seal+ ,,! ,,envelope ,pla9 :ite or cream pap] ( good quality is always 9 fa%ion4 ,= social correspond5ce ?is pap] mu/ be s cut t x is fold$ b once to be slipp$ into an envelope4 ,at ! top ( ! page 9 ! middle may be ! address1 z 8#abc ,we/ ,b>r[s ,/reet10 & ! "n ( ! city4 ,j n[1 ?is is ! only m>k+ t is us$ on ! %eet1 al?\gh "s p]sons h ! initials or monogram1 or cre/1 9 place ( ! address4 ,x is no long] fa%ionable to h ! cre/ or monogram & ! address also4 ,! envelope is m>k$ or n1 z "o *ooses4 ,! use ( seal+-wax gives a t\* ( di/9ction = :i* a few p]sons /ill take "t4 ,only :ite or delicately color$ wax is acceptable1 unless at holiday "t1 :5 ! fe/ive t\* giv5 by sc>let is 9 season4 99 99 99 99 99 ,lett]-heads1 su* z are us$ = bus9ess correspond5ce1 %\ld nev] be us$ = social purposes4 ,ev5 ! bus9ess man may keep 9 8 (fice desk a quire or two ( pla9 pap] ^u :i* to write society notes & replies to invitations4 ,nor is x p]missible = him to use ! typewrit] 9 indit+ ^!4 ,all 8 bus9ess correspond5ce may be conduct$ ) ! aid ( ! invaluable ma*9e1 & he may1 if he ask p]mission to d s1 s5d lett]s to memb]s ( 8 own family on ! typewrit]4 ,b all o!r correspond5ce %\ld be done ) p5 & ink4 99 99 99 99 99 ,un=tunately1 m\rn+ /ation]y is /ill 9 vogue4 ,! recipi5t ( a black-edg$ lett] is (t5 consci\s ( a di/9ct %ock :5 %e fir/ sees ! emblem ( dolor1 & wond]s if x conta9s ! notice ( a dea?4 ,= ?is reason _m consid]ate foll[]s ( conv5tionalities d n use ! black-edg$ /ation]y1 b cont5t !mselves ) pla9 :ite pap] m>k$ ) ! address or monogram 9 black lett]+4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a social or fri5dly lett] is frequ5tly dat$ at ! end1 at ! left-h& l[] corn] ( ! signature4 ,a bus9ess communication is dat$ at ! upp] "r-h& corn]4 ,sid5ote3 ,,address+ ,,bus9ess ,,firms ,! expression 8,my de> ,mr4 ,blank0 is m =mal ?an is 8,de> ,mr4 ,blank10 & is1 !re=e1 us$ 9 society notes4 ,d n--z "s h done--beg9 8de>0 ) a capital4 ,unsophi/icat$ p]sons sometimes hesitate to use ! prefix 8de>10--!y may be assur$ t 9 ?is connection x is m]ely a polite =m1 ) no s5tim5tal flavor :atev]4 ,bus9ess lett]s address$ to a man %\ld beg9 ) ! "n ( ! p]son to :om !y are int5d$ on "o l9e1 ! salutation on ! next1 z3 8,mr4 ,john ,smi?0 on ! upp] l9e1 & bel[ ?is1 8,de> ,sir40 ,9 address+ a firm consi/+ ( m ?an "o p]son1 write ! "n ( ! firm1 z 8,smi?1 ,jones & ,company10 !n bel[1 8,de> ,sirs40 ,! salutation 8,g5tlem50 9 su* a case is old-fa%ion$ b is pref]r$ by "s c]emoni\s p]sons :o also l to put 8,esq40 aft] a man's "n on an envelope 9 place ( putt+ 8,mr40 be=e x4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,signature ,x %\ld be unnecess>y to rem9d wom5 n to preface _! signatures ) ! title 8,mrs40 or 8,miss40 ,su* a mi/ake /amps "o z a vulg>ian or an ignoramus4 ,! "n 9 full may be sign$1 z3 8,m>y ,bacon ,smi?40 ,if ! writ] be a m>ri$ woman1 & ! p]son to :om %e writes does n "k :e!r %e be m>ri$ or s+le1 %e %\ld write h] husb&'s "n ) ! preface 8,mrs40 bel[ h] signature1 or 9 ! l[] left-h& corn] ( ! %eet1 z 78,mrs4 ,james ,hayes ,smi?074 ,an unm>ri$ woman w save h] correspond5t emb>rassm5t by putt+ 8,miss ,br[n0 9 p>5!ses 9 ?is corn]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,to sign "o's "n prefac$ by ! fir/ lett] is no long] consid]$ good =m4 8,j4 ,h5ry ,wells0 %\ld be 8,john ,h5ry ,wells40 ,if "o w\ld use "o initial lett] in/ead ( ! full "n1 let t lett] be ! middle initial1 z 8,john ,h4 ,wells10 or 8,j4 ,h4 ,wells40 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,po/al ,,c>d ,i wi% ,i c\ld impress on all foll[]s ( good =m t a po/al c>d is a solecism except :5 us$ = bus9ess purposes4 ,if x is an absolute necessity to s5d "o to a fri5d or a memb] ( "o's family1 z1 :5 /opp+ = a mom5t at a railroad /ation "o wi%es to s5d a l9e home tell+ ( "o's safety at ! pres5t /age ( ! j\rney1 ! s5t5ces %\ld be %ort & to ! po9t1 & unprefac$ by an affectionate salutation4 ,all love-messages %\ld be omitt$1 z %\ld ! intimate t]m9ation t is entirely prop] 9 a seal$ lett]4 8,affectionately0 or 8,lov+ly0 are out ( place :5 writt5 ^u a po/al c>d4 ,expressions su* z 8,god bless y60 or 8,i love y10 or 8,love to ! de> ones10 are 9 %ock+ly bad ta/e except "u cov] ( an envelope4 ,a good rule to impress on ^? hav+ a p5*ant = ! preval5t po/-c>d is z foll[s3 8,use = bus9ess :5 brevity & simplicity are ! ord] ( ! day2 nev] use = fri5dly correspond5ce unless ! pur*ase ( a %eet ( pap]1 envelope & po/age /amp is an impossibility40 99 99 99 99 99 ,! fri5dly lett] may be z long z "t & incl9ation p]mit4 ,! bus9ess communication %\ld be writt5 9 z few & cle> s5t5ces z possible4 ,"s "o has said t to write a model bus9ess lett] "o %\ld 8beg9 9 ! middle ( x40 ,9 o!r words1 x %\ld be unprefac$ by any unnecess>y s5t5ces1 b %\ld beg9 imm$iately on ! bus9ess 9 h&1 cont9ue & f9i% ) x4 ,= su* lett]s 8,v truly y\rs0 is ! correct end+1 unless1 z 9 ! case ( a man or firm address+ a lett] to a p]son totally unkn[n to ! writ]1 & ( m>k$ em95ce1 :5 ! expression 8,respectfully y\rs0 may be us$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,lett]s ,,( ,,condol5ce ,_m p consid] lett]s ( congratulation & condol5ce ! mo/ difficult to write4 ,?is is because "o feels t a c]ta9 k9d ( =m is necess>y & t conv5tional & /ilt$ phrases are prop] "u ! circum/ances4 ,?is is a mi/ake1 =1 go+ on ! almo/ unfail+ pr9ciple t :at comes f ! he>t1 goes to ! he>t1 ! be/ =m to be us$ t[>d ^? 9 sorr[ or joy is a g5u9e expression ( feel+4 ,if y are sorry = a fri5d1 write to h] t y are1 & t y are ?9k+ ( h] & long+ to help h]4 ,if y are happy 9 h] happ9ess1 say s z cordially z words c express x4 99 99 99 99 99 ,x happ5s n[ & !n t ev5 ! quiete/ p]son wi%es to write to a man ( political prom95ce4 ,su* p]sons1 :e!r !y be diplomats or memb]s ( ,congress1 may prop]ly be address$ z 8,honorable ,mr4 ----40 ,! presid5t is 8,! ,honorable1 ! ,presid5t ( ! ,unit$ ,/ates40 ,to use ! article be=e ! title is m elegant4 ,bi%ops ( any *ur* are entitl$ to ! prefix1 8,! ,"r ,rev]5d40 ,9 conv]sation1 ! rector ( a 8high0 ,episcopal *ur* is (t5 affectionately address$ z 8,fa!r ----10 b ?is =m ( greet+ w\ld n be us$ on an envelope4 ,! dean ( a ca!dral %\ld be address$ z 8,! ,v ,rev]5d ----40 99 99 99 99 99 ,v small pap] & envelopes = society notes are less us$ ?an =m]ly1 _m p]sons pref]r+ :at are call$ correspond5ce c>ds1 heavy cream-:ite s+le c>ds on :i* a few l9es may be writt5 & :i* are slipp$ into _! envelopes )\t fold+4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,lett]s ,,( ,,introduction ,lett]s ( introduction %\ld be> on ! outside ( ! envelope1 9 ! l[] left-h& corn] ! words1 8,introduc+ ,miss ----10 9 ord] t ! two ?us br\ght toge!r may be sav$ any mom5t>y emb>rassm5t4 ,!y %\ld n be seal$4 ,"o %\ld be v c>eful n to give ^! lett]s unless "o is reasonably w>rant$ 9 mak+ a dem& on ! "t & c\rtesy ( ! p]son on :om "o is mak+ ! social draft4 ,to give "o's c>d by way ( introduction makes less ( a dem& on "o's fri5d ?an does a lett]4 ,a woman does n pres5t a lett] ( introduction 9 p]son2 a man does4 ,:5 "o avails "o's self ( a memb] ( "o's family or a fri5d z mess5g]1 "o %\ld write on ! envelope 9 ! l[] left-h& corn]1 8,k9dness ( ,m>y0 or 8,polit5ess ( ,miss ,briggs40 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,enclos+ ,a ,,/amp ,we c n close ?is *apt] on lett]-writ+ )\t a ^w to ! p]son :o writes a lett] ask+ a "q on 8 own bus9ess1 & fails to enclose a /amp4 ,?is is equival5t to ask+ ! recipi5t on :om "o has no claim to give "o ! "t requir$ = writ+ an answ] to "o's qu]y1 & a two-c5t /amp z well4 ,:5 ! matt] on :i* "o writes is ess5tially "o's own bus9ess1 & n t ( ! p]son to :om "o writes & f :om "o dem&s a reply1 "o %\ld always enclose a /amp1 ?us mak+ ! favor "o asks ( ! lea/ possible tr\ble to "o's correspond5t4 ,"s p enclose a /amp$ & self-address$ envelope b z ! o!r p]son's pap] may n fit ! envelope1 ! well-meant c\rtesy (t5 defeats itself4 ,sid5ote3 ,,promptness ,,9 ,,answ]+ ,9 all bus9ess & society correspond5ce a lett] %\ld be answ]$ z soon z possible aft] x is receiv$4 ,"o may af=d to take a c]ta9 am\nt ( lib]ty ) "o's fri5ds1 & lay aside a lett] = "s days be=e answ]+ x4 ,b ! acceptance or decl9ature ( an invitation1 & ! answ] to a bus9ess communication1 %\ld be s5t ) z little delay z possible4 ,,*apt] ,,iv ,,introductions ,,?is matt] ( introductions is "o r too lightly consid]$ on our free ,am]ican soil4 ,unless ! social exig5cies are su* z to make ! atmosph]e =mal & unpleasant if p are unkn[n to ea* o!r1 x is tak+ a lib]ty to pres5t a man to a woman )\t fir/ & privately ask+ h] p]mission4 ,x is a woman's privilege to decl9e or to accept mascul9e acqua9tance z %e *ooses4 ,if %e grants p]mission = ! introduction1 ! p]son :o has ask$ su* p]mission br+s ! man 9 "q to h] & says3 8,miss ,a41 may ,i h ! pleasure ( pres5t+ ,mr4 ,b4 to y80 ,we h all be5 witnesses at "s "t or o!r ( t mo/ unconv5tional p]=mance :]e ! woman 9 ! case all[s h]self to be dragg$ across ! floor to ! man conc]n$4 ,we h all1 on occasion1 he>d ! prop] =m s twi/$ z to make ! woman ! p]son pres5t$ in/ead ( ! man4 ,?is is ! wor/ sort ( no-=m4 ,! social conv5tion prescribes t ! man %all take ! initiative 9 reque/+ ! introduction1 t he %all seek ! lady1 t he %all be ! p]son pres5t$4 ,sid5ote3 ,,introduc+ ,,"o',s ,,husb& ,an ,am]ican woman 9 pres5t+ h] husb& w usually say1 8,my husb&1 ,mr4 ,smi?40 ,an ,engli% woman w\ld be m =mal4 ,%e w\ld say simply1 8,mr4 ,smi?40 ,:5 a man is pres5t$ to a woman1 if %e is seat$ %e ne$ n rise b may m]ely b[4 ,9 case ! man is di/+ui%$ or eld]ly or if he be a w>m fri5d ( h] husb&1 or h] gue/1 %e w rise & %ake h&s4 99 99 99 99 99 ,nev] awkw>dly drag a newcom] ar\nd to e p]son 9 a l>ge circle4 ,introduce him to sev]al ( ^? ne>e/ & lat] su* fur!r introductions z are desirable w naturally foll[4 ,:5 ! gr\p includes a half-doz5 only1 x is necess>y to introduce all r\nd4 ,9 ?is case ! c]emony may be gracefully %ort5$ by repeat+ two or ?ree names toge!r1 ?us3 8,mrs4 ,br[n1 ,mrs4 ,smi?1 may ,i pres5t ,mr4 ,james80 ,nev] introduce y\r si/] or y\r daught]1 if %e be gr[n1 m]ely z su*4 ,! o!r p]son w be confus$1 n kn[+ :e!r ! "o introduc$ is m>ri$ or s+le1 & h5ce 9 d\bt z to :at "n to use4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,cl]ical ,,introductions ,at a reception giv5 to an ar*bi%op ( ! ,roman ,ca?olic *ur*1 x is cu/om>y = dev\t ,ca?olics to kiss ! r+ b ,prote/ants may m]ely %ake h&s4 ,a c>d9al ranks z a pr9ce ( ! ,roman ,ca?olic *ur* & is address$ z 8,8 ,em95ce40 ,wom5 z well z m5 are pres5t$ to him1 n he to !m4 ,a woman is also pres5t$ to a bi%op4 ,:5 two wom5 ( ab\t equal age & importance are to be introduc$ m]ely m5tion ! two names1 ?us3 8,mrs4 ,a41 ,mrs4 ,b40 ,! g5]al rule 9 all introductions is to pres5t ! woman to ! man1 ! "y man or "y woman to ! eld]ly1 ! unm>ri$ woman to ! matron1 :5 ( ab\t ! same age4 ,"o may say 8,may ,i pres5t0 or ) two m5 ( ne> ! same age1 8,i want y to "k40 ,nev] say1 8,let me make y acqua9t$ )40 ,t is prov9cial4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,address+ ,,! ,,que5 ,! ,am]ican :o goes abroad expect+ to be pres5t$ at c\rt mu/1 ( c\rse1 acqua9t himself ) ! etiquette ( t c\rt4 ,he w receive su* advice z he ne$s f 8 ambassador b x may be useful = him to "k ahead ( "t "s ( ! ?+s t are requir$ ( him1 or m precisely ( h]1 = c\rt pres5tations are mu* m covet$ & s\ght aft] by ,am]ican wom5 ?an by m54 ,h[ev]1 x is und]/ood t a man ^: wife has be5 pres5t$ is himself eligible to att5d ! k+'s next reception = g5tlem5 only4 ,! ,engli% que5 is address$ simply z 8,ma'am0 by all ,am]icans :o h ! honor ( pres5tation4 ,k+ ,george w\ld be address$ z 8,sir40 ,! ,pr9ce ( ,wales is 8,pr9ce0 & 8 wife 8,pr9cess40 ,! phrase 8,y\r ,maje/y0 is res]v$ = use by ! l[] ,engli% classes4 ,an ,am]ican1 by virtue ( 8 hav+ no rank at all1 takes rank ) ! highe/ :5 he is introduc$ at c\rt4 ,a duke is address$ simply z 8,duke10 & a m>quis by 8 title1 8,"l ----40 ,! daught]s ( dukes1 m>quises & e>ls mu/ be giv5 _! ,*ri/ian names1 z 8,lady ,m>y ,t[]s40 ,! sons %\ld be address$ z 8,"l ,john ,t[]s10 8,"l ,h5ry ,t[]s40 ,an ar*bi%op is prop]ly address$ z 8,y\r ,grace0 or 8,my ,"l10 b 8 wife is pla9 8,mrs4 ----40 ,memb]s ( =eign royal families h ! title ( 8,pr9ce0 & 8,pr9cess40 ,a b>on visit+ 9 ?is c\ntry w\ld be pres5t$ to ! ,am]ican ladies he meets q l any o!r g5tleman1 & 8 wife w\ld n take prec$5ce ( !m unless %e happ5$ to be eld]ly4 99 99 99 99 99 ,:5 9 a fri5d's h\se "o %\ld be> 9 m9d t introductions are ! natural pr]ogative ( ! ho/ & ! ho/ess4 ,"o %\ld n1 h[ev]1 all[ an awkw>d situation to develop f a too rigid obs]vance ( ?is rule4 ,sid5ote3 ,,pr(essional ,,m5 ,rememb] t _m pr(essional m5 d n l to be call$ 8,pr(essor0 because ( ! *eap ways 9 :i* ?is title has 9 rec5t ye>s be5 us$4 ,by a little tact 9 individual in/ances "o c le>n :i* is pref]r$--8,pr(essor10 or 8,mr410 or 8,doctor10 if ! p]son 9 "q be entitl$ to t di/9ction4 ,9 mak+ introductions a clev] man or woman (t5 adds a ^w ( comm5t t w help ! two meet+ to />t _! acqua9tance on a fri5dly & intellig5t basis4 ,,*apt] ,v ,,aft] ,,six ,o',,clock ,,= mo/ ( u ! active bus9ess ( ! day is ov] at sund[n4 ,mo!rs ( l>ge families1 physicians & occasionally o!r work]s are employ$ ov] "t2 b mo/ ( u c c\nt on leisure aft] six o'clock4 ,mu* ( our happ9ess dep5ds ^u h[ ?is leisure is employ$4 ,t x %\ld af=d recreation ( "o sort or ano!r is a commonly accept$ op9ion1 ?\gh "o t is accept$ usually )\t appreciation ( ! obligations involv$4 ,recreation implies some?+ m ?an idl5ess4 ,"o c n be amus$ 9 any wor?-:ile s5se )\t sitt+ up & pay+ att5tion4 ,=eign]s compla9 habitually t ,am]icans take _! pleasure sadly1 t !y d n g 9 = gaiety ) _s4 ,we are mu* m vital 9 our attitude t[>d "w ?an t[>d play4 ,we "k t we mu/ pay = success 9 labor ( any sort1 b ! debt we owe to amusem5t is a po9t n yet s widely grasp$4 ,pleasure is %y ( ! p]son :o makes only occasional advances to h]4 ,%e mu/ be c\rt$ habitually 9 ord] to give a full return4 ,we are all acqua9t$ ) ! dull unhappy appe>ance ( ! s$ul\s man ( bus9ess (f = a r>e holiday4 ,he is out ( 8 elem5t4 ,he kn[s h[ to behave himself at "w b he is n acqua9t$ ) ! fundam5tal pr9ciples ( hav+ a good "t4 ,^! c n be le>n$ 9 a m9ute4 ,"o mu/ h practise 9 enjoym5t 9 ord] to c>ry (f ! matt] easily2 & ?is practise %\ld be a habit ( e-day life4 ,_m p :o /& %yly (f f ! delights ( ! _w & wond] :y !y are depriv$ ( !m1 fail to realize t div]sion ( any sort wor?y ! "n1 is a ?+ = :i* "o mu/ make "s ef=t4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,home ,,fe/ivity ,x is at home t "o %\ld cultivate ! graces t make "o attractive abroad2 & ?is is only prelim9>y to say+ t plann+ = ! e-day recreation ( a h\sehold %\ld be z mu* a matt] ( c\rse z devis+ ways & means = ! pur*ase ( food & clo?+4 ,! fir/ requisite = br++ ab\t an atmosph]e ( fe/ivity & good *e] at home is to adopt 9 "s degree ! me?ods t "o uses away f home4 ,if "o is invit$ out to d9n]1 "o makes "s prep>ation = x1 & s "o %\ld d = d9n] at home4 ,ext]nals h mu* to d ) coax+ gaiety to live z a gue/ 9 ! h\se4 ,a pretty table & food manag$ ) "s reg>d to e/hetic values z well z to ! palatable quality1 h a happy effect ^u ! m9d & temp] ( ! d9]s4 ,a few fl[]s prop]ly di/ribut$ assi/ /ill fur!r4 ,if all ! inmates ( a h\se are 9 ! habit1 z !y %\ld be1 ( mak+ "s *ange 9 _! toilet = d9n]1 ?is ( itself makes a %>p l9e ( dem>cation betwe5 ! "w-"t & ! play-"t ( ! tw5ty-f\r h\rs4 ,! h9t ( fe/ivity 9 attire induces a happy & a fe/ive frame ( m9d1 imp>ts j t t\* ( diff]5ce f ! habit ( prosaic daylight necess>y to s5d ! m9d sail+ (f into pleasant *annels4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,home ,,d9n] ,! c>e = ! d9n]-table1 = ! p]sonal appe>ance &1 g5]ally speak+1 = pretty environm5t implies ef=t4 ,lazy p c n hope = ^! delightful effects ( a mat]ial k9d4 ,nei!r c !y expect ! happ9ess :i* comes to ^? :o take "s pa9s at home = ! m5tal ent]ta9m5t ( !mselves & _! h\sehold4 ,!re are _m p :o reg>d x z deceitful & ins9c]e to =eca/ :at "o %all talk ab\t & x is q true t =mally plann$ talk is a foe to spontaneity & naturalness4 ,b usually ! man or woman :o ent]ta9s by 8 conv]sation is ! p]son :o1 9 a g5]al way1 has tak5 "s ?\ght ab\t :at he %all say4 ,giv5 ! opportunity1 conv]sation1 *>m+ 9 its spontaneity1 rises out ( ! m5tal habit ( not+ d[n = future ref]5ce pleasant or odd p]sonal exp]i5ces1 good /ories1 ! quirks 9 "o's own m9d4 ,"o mu/ n intrude ^! 9 a place :]e !y d n fit1 b x is n 9 ! lea/ a social s9 to guide ! talk t[>d y\r own ?\ght provid$ y d n !reby pu% out some?+ bett]4 ,we are all giv5 tongues & ) !m a c]ta9 conv]sational responsibility4 ,if ea* memb] ( ! family made x 8 bus9ess & 8 pleasure dur+ ! day to rememb] ! be/ "p ( 8 exp]i5ce t he might relate x at ! d9n]-h\r "s "p ( t gloom :i* desc5ds ^u s _m ,am]ican families at ! ev5+ meal w\ld be dissipat$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,"t ,,= ,,play ,if "o cultivates ! pretti] t\*es ( p]sonal appe>ance = t "p ( ! day aft] six o'clock1 :e!r at home or abroad1 "o %\ld also cultivate ! pleasant] & m agreeable /ates ( m9d4 ,bus9ess %\ld be put beh9d "o4 ,! petty c>es ( ! day %\ld g unm5tion$4 ,! ills ( body & m9d %\ld be1 z f> z possible1 =got4 ,^? little c\rtesies & =malities ( mann] t we admire 9 ! practis$ man or woman ( society are z decorative at home z away & equally creative ( a fe/ive atmosph]e4 ,9 "o ( ! magaz9es ( ! la/ decade !re is a homely effective /ory ( a "y girl1 j home f a h\se-p>ty & full ( its gaiety1 to :om ! idea occurr$ t ! me?ods employ$ by h] ho/ess might make a delightful week 9 h] own l>ge family circle4 ,%e took ! matt] 9 h&1 & invit$ h] "m to be ! gue/ ( honor = ! sev5 days4 ,"s ent]ta9m5t 0 plann$ = ea* ev5+ 9 ! week1 sometimes ) visitors & sometimes n4 ,! wom5 ( ! family wore _! be/ frocks frequ5tly dur+ ! week4 ,! prettie/ *9a & ! be/ silv] 7 us$ z freely z if = company4 ,! result ( x all 0 t ! family vot$ visit+ at home a signal success4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,games ,,z ,a ,,pa/ime ,!re are _m specific ways ( provid+ amusem5t = ev5+s at home4 ,"o has space only = ! m5tion ( a few ( ^! 9 a %ort article on ! subject4 ,games ( v>i\s k9ds are an excell5t res\rce = mak+ ! aft]-d9n] "t pass pleasantly4 ,!y cultivate quickness ( decision1 sociability1 a fri5dly rivalry4 ,success 9 games is p>tly a matt] ( *ance b mu* m ( att5tion & skill4 ,_m p sniff at !m :o are too lazy to make ! conque/ ( _! me?ods4 ,*>ades1 ( :i* ,engli% p nev] gr[ tir$1 z a means ( div]sion1 h _! ups & d[ns 9 ! m quickly *ang+ fa%ions ( ,am]ica4 ,!y provide "o ( ! easie/ & m]rie/ means ( ent]ta9m5t4 ,!y may be ( any degree ( simplicity or elaboration1 & !y call =? z mu* or z little +5uity z is possess$ by ! actors 9 any giv5 case4 ,!y are usually popul> because almo/ ev]ybody has lat5t a little tal5t = ! actor's art at :i* he is will+ to try 8 luck4 ,_m p :o are afraid to jo9 9 =mal !atricals f9d an outlet = ?is ta/e 9 *>ades2 & s in=mal usually is ?is k9d ( ent]ta9m5t t ! spectators enjoy ! act+ :e!r well done or o!rwise4 ,x is en\gh to see "o's fri5ds & acqua9tances /ruggl+ ) a "p4 ,if well done1 "o enjoys ! success2 if n1 "o applauds ! absurdity ( ! conception4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,read+ ,,al\d ,read+ al\d to a cong5ial home p>ty has mu* to be said 9 its favor1 9 spite ( its pres5t reputation z a /upid means ( pass+ an ev5+4 8,! _w may be divid$ into two classes10 runs an old & favorably kn[n joke1 8^? :o l read+ al\d & ^? :o d n4 ,^? :o l x are ^? :o d ! read+2 ^? :o dislike x are ^? :o d ! li/5+40 ,! half-tru? 9 ?is witticism mu/ n be accept$ = m ?an x is wor?4 ,z an occasional means ( pass+ an ev5+1 read+ al\d is div]t+ & /imulat+4 ,! habit ( sp5d+ "o's ev5+s 9 t way is n an enc\ragem5t to v>iety & livel9ess ( m9d4 ,"o gets into ! way ( dep5d+ ^u ! au?or 9 h& = ent]ta9m5t in/ead ( dep5d+ ^u ! action ( "o's own m9d4 ,small doses ( read+ al\d are good4 ,cont9ual doses are fatal to a prop] social ideal4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,popul> ,,h\se ,! p :o make _! own h\ses a c5t] ( attraction are1 g5]ally speak+1 happy p4 ,! h\se :]e ! ev5+ is accept$ z a "t ( div]sion is ! popul> h\se4 ,! atmosph]e !re begets gaiety & naturalness ( mann]4 ,we h all _h ! exp]i5ce ( mak+ ev5+ calls :]e we 7 compell$ to /& 9 ! hall till ! gas 0 light$ 9 ! draw+-room or ! electricity turn$ on1 :]e we mu/ pass a dre>y fifte5 m9utes be=e ! memb]s ( ! family are ready to receive4 ,?is k9d ( prelim9>y puts a damp] ^u ! spirits ( ho/ & gue/s f :i* !y d n easily recov]4 ,to be ready = pleasant ev5+s1 to meet !m half-way by "o's attitude is a good recipe = insur+ _! arrival4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,sunday ,,night ,,supp] ,a pleasant & in=mal me?od ( insur+ good times 9 "o's own h\se is to make a feature ( ! ,sunday night supp]4 ,?is is n s =mal or exp5sive a mode ( ent]ta9m5t z d9n]-giv+4 ,x is a jolly & pleasant me?od4 ,"o may h ev]y?+ 9 ! way ( edibles prep>$ = ! meal 9 ! morn+ except p]haps "o article to be made on ! *af+-di%4 ,"o may s]ve ?is meal ) or )\t s]vants4 ,(t5 ! gue/s enjoy ! fre$om impli$ 9 help+ ! ho/ess c>ry (f successfully ! details ( s]v+4 ,! ,sunday ev5+ supp] is "o ( ^? fe/ivities t imply "s ela/icity 9 numb]s4 ,?is is ! sort ( meal to :i* ! unexpect$ gue/ is welcome1 at :i* ! p]son :o 8happ5s 90 may feel entirely at ease4 ,:]e !re are "y p 9 ! h\se1 ! ,sunday night supp] is an especially popul> in/itution4 ,!y appreciate ! delights ( ent]ta9+ )\t ! c>e or ! =mality ( m elaborate functions4 ,sid5ote3 ,,practis+ ,,c\rtesy ,! ways ( enjoy+ life away f home aft] six o'clock 9 ! ev5+1 readily sugge/ !mselves4 ,!re are ! v>i\s functions to :i* "o is invit$4 ,!re is ! !at]1 ! mo/ delightful ( res\rces1 b un=tunately "o :i* by reason ( its exp5se is available frequ5tly only by ! ri*4 ,receptions1 d9n]s1 c>d-p>ties & ! !at] all g to make ?is e>? a m agreeable place to ^? :o h ! social in/9ct4 ,b x mu/ nev] be =got t ! fundam5tal place = ! cultivation ( ?is in/9ct is at home1 :i* is ! practise gr\nd = =mal & g5]al society4 ,,*apt] ,,vi ,,functions ,,! rules t apply to a d9n] hold good at a lun*eon1 to :i* function ladies only are usually invit$1 al?\gh :5 s]v$ at twelve o'clock1 & call$ 8breakfa/10 m5 are also bidd54 ,at a lun*eon ! wom5 leave _! coats 9 ! dress+-room1 we>+ _! hats & gloves to ! table4 ,! gloves are drawn (f z soon z all are seat$4 ,j :y wom5 elect to sit ?r\gh an entire meal 9 a private h\se ) _! hats on is n readily expla9$ & "s indep5d5t ho/esses reque/ t hats be remov$4 ,b if !y are reta9$1 ! gloves also %\ld be worn to ! table1 n tak5 (f up-/airs1 z is (t5 done4 ,:5 ! gloves are long1 "s wom5 m]ely pull (f ! l[] "p & tuck x into ! wri/1 an ugly habit4 99 99 99 99 99 ,9 giv+ lun*eons1 ho/esses ) beautifully poli%$ tables (t5 pref] to use doilies ( l95 or lace in/ead ( a clo?4 ,m precise wom5 nev] s]ve a meal )\t us+ a table-clo?1 b f an arti/ic po9t ( view ! %9+ surface ( b>e mahogany is *>m+4 ,lun*eon gue/s %\ld rememb] t _! ho/ess may h engagem5ts = ! late aft]noon1 & n ord9>ily prolong _! /ay aft] ?ree o'clock--if lun*eon has be5 at "o4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,=mal ,,receptions ,at an ev5+ reception1 ! gue/s asc5d to ! dress+-rooms1 if !y wi%1 or may leave wraps 9 ! hall1 if a s]vant be !re to take !m4 ,:5 "o comes 9 a c>riage ) only an op]a wrap ov] a reception g[n1 x is h>dly wor? :ile to m\nt ! /airs4 ,b ?is mu/ be decid$ by ! arrangem5ts made by ! ent]ta9]s4 ,be=e "o ent]s ! draw+-room "o deposits "o's c>ds on ! salv] on ! hall table4 ,if !re be a s]vant ann\nc+ gue/s ! new arrival gives 8 "n cle>ly & di/9ctly to ?is function>y1 :o repeats x 9 su* a tone t ^? receiv+ may he> x4 ,! gue/ ent]s ! p>lors at ?is mom5t1 proce$s directly to 8 ho/ess1 & aft] greet+ h]1 speaks ) ea* p]son receiv+ ) h]4 ,he !n passes on & m+les ) ! re/ ( ! company4 99 99 99 99 99 ,an aft]noon reception is conduct$ 9 ! same mann]1 ! only diff]5ce be+ t1 at an ev5+ function refre%m5ts are m elaborate ?an at an aft]noon affair1 & frequ5tly ! gue/s repair to ! d9+-room1 if ?is be l>ge4 ,at "s day receptions1 ?is is also done1 b at a tea refre%m5ts are usually pass$ 9 ! draw+-rooms4 ,a fri5d ( ! ho/ess usually p\rs ! tea & ! *ocolate1 & o!r fri5ds are ask$ to assi/4 ,at successful receptions ^! ladies d n seek _! especial fri5ds among ! gue/s1 b are r on ! look\t = any :o may be /range or timid4 ,sid5ote3 ,,correct ,,aft]noon ,,dress ,refre%m5ts s elaborate t !y w spoil ! appetite = d9n] are n to be s]v$ at aft]noon affairs4 ,at ! tea prop]1 only tea1 bread & butt] & little cakes are (f]$4 ,if m ?an ?is is s]v$ ! occasion is m prop]ly call$ a reception4 ,9 any case ! ent]ta9m5t giv5 9 ! aft]noon %\ld n take on ! elaborate nature ( an ev5+ p>ty & only 9 prov9cial communities is x all[$ to d ?is4 ,_m wom5 9 su* places d n prop]ly di/+ui% betwe5 aft]noon & ev5+ dress4 ,:ile a woman may suitably we> be=e six a g[n slightly l[ 9 ! neck1 %e %\ld n until aft] t h\r we> "o t is l[] or ^: sleeves d n come to ! elb[4 99 99 99 99 99 ,! 8high tea0 is a sit-d[n affair1 really a v late lun*eon4 ,x is said to h orig9at$ 9 ,philadelphia & is1 z "o w\ld expect1 a =mal /ately affair ) an elaborate m5u4 ,! gue/s h a delightful "t--b d n want any d9n] t ev5+4 ,sid5ote3 ,,h[ ,,to ,,revive ,,fl[]s ,x is useful to "k t :5 on ! aft]noon ( a reception or d9n] fl[]s int5d$ = decoration arrive f ! flori/ 9 a wilt$ condition !y may (t5 be reviv$ by plung+ ! /ems 9 boil+ wat]4 ,at a v l>ge reception x is n n[ requir$ t "o =ce "o's self on ! att5tion ( ! ho/ess = ! sake ( tak+ =mal leave4 ,"o may in/ead dep>t :5ev] "o is ready to d s4 99 99 99 99 99 ,music at a reception %\ld n be s l\d z to make talk+ difficult4 ,9 any b ! l>ge/ h\ses a h>p /ation$ 9 a side room or hall is ample4 ,=eign]s f9d our babel ( voices at su* affairs subjects ( criticism b (t5 inde$ "o mu/ %\t if "o is to be he>d4 ,oliv] ,w5dell ,holmes is said to h describ$ ! av]age aft]noon tea 9 f\r words1 ?us3 8,gibble1 gabble1 gobble1 git40 ,x c n be d5i$ t !y (t5 m]it ! satire4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,com+-,,out ,,p>ty ,! 8com+-out0 p>ty or reception1 at :i* ! dbutante makes h] entrance 9 ! _w ( society1 is conduct$ z is any o!r reception1 b ! dbutante /&s by h] "m & receives ) h]4 ,ea* gue/ speaks "s pleasant ^w ( congratulation on %ak+ h&s ) ! girl4 ,h] dress %\ld be exquisite1 & %e %\ld c>ry fl[]s4 ,^! fl[]s are usually s5t to h]4 ,:5 m are receiv$ ?an %e c c>ry1 !y are plac$ ab\t ! room4 ,if ! com+-out p>ty be 9 ! ev5+1 x is (t5 foll[$ by a dance = ! "y p4 ,9 s5d+ out invitations = su* an affair1 ! daught]'s c>d is enclos$ ) t ( ! "m1 or h] "n is engrav$ bel[ t ( h] "m on ! latt]'s c>d4 ,"o may leave su* a function z has j be5 describ$ z soon z "o likes1 & may take refre%m5ts or n z "o wi%es4 ,j be=e dep>t+ ! gue/ says good night to 8 ho/s4 ,! h\r at :i* "o goes to a reception may be at any "t betwe5 ! h\rs nam$ on ! c>ds issu$4 ,"o %\ld nev] g too e>ly1 or1 if x c be avoid$1 on ! /roke ( ! fir/ h\r m5tion$4 ,if ! c>ds read 8eight-?irty to elev5 o'clock10 any "t aft] n9e o'clock w be prop] & "o w !n be pretty sure n to be ! fir/ arrival ( ! company4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a c>d-p>ty is a function at :i* "o %\ld arrive ) reasonable promptness4 ,if ! invitations call = eight-?irty1 "o mu/ try n to be m ?an t5 or fifte5 m9utes late1 z ! />t+ ( ! game w be ?us delay$ & ! ho/ess inconv5i5c$4 ,aft] ! game is end$1 refre%m5ts are s]v$1 & z soon aft] t z "o pleases "o may take "o's dep>ture4 ,sid5ote3 ,,s]5ity ,,at ,,c>ds ,x is surpris+ h[ _m p1 at o!r times well-br$1 q lose _! temp]s at bridge or :i/4 ,! sc5t ( a prize seems to ar\se 9 !m a _s ( vulg>ity "o w\ld n discr$it !m ) possess+ if "o met !m away f ! c>d table4 ,! only prop] attitude 9 all games is "o or s]5ity & c\rtesy no matt] :at unspeakable blund]s y\r p>tn] may commit4 99 99 99 99 99 ,! same rule ( promptness applies to a musicale4 ,aft] greet+ ! ho/ess1 gue/s take ! seats assign$ to !m1 & *at ) ^? p]sons ne> !m until ! program is begun4 ,dur+ ! music n a ^w %\ld be spok54 ,if "o has no love = music1 let consid]ation = o!rs cause "o to be sil5t4 ,if ?is is impossible1 x is less unk9d to s5d a regret ?an to att5d & by s do+ m> o!rs' enjoym5t ( a musical fea/4 99 99 99 99 99 ,at a ball or l>ge dance1 "o may arrive :5 "o wi%es4 ,! ladies are %[n to ! dress+-room1 !n meet _! escorts at ! head ( ! /airs & desc5d to ! draw+-rooms or dance-hall4 ,"h ! ho/ & ho/ess greet "o1 aft] :i* "o m+les ) ! company4 ,sid5ote3 ,,fill+ ,,dance ,,programs ,at a =mal dance1 programs or ord]s ( dance are provid$1 ea* man & ea* woman receiv+ "o z he or %e leaves ! dress+-room or ent]s ! draw+-room4 ,^u ?is c>d a woman has inscrib$ ! names ( ! v>i\s m5 :o ask = dances4 ,z ea* man approa*es h] ) ! reque/ t he be giv5 a dance1 %e h&s him h] c>d & he writes 8 "n on x1 !n writes h] "n on ! correspond+ blank on 8 own c>d4 ,z he returns h] program to h] ! man %\ld say 8,?ank y60 ,! woman may b[ slightly & smile or repeat ! same words4 ,no woman v]s$ 9 ! ways ( polite society w give a dance promis$ to "o man to ano!r1 unless ! fir/ man be s crassly ignorant or c>eless z to neglect to come = x4 ,%\ld a man be guilty ( ?is rud5ess he c only humbly apologize & expla9 8 mi/ake1 begg+ to be tak5 aga9 into favor4 ,if he be s9c]e ! woman mu/1 by ! laws ( good bre$+1 cons5t to ov]look 8 lapse1 b %e ne$ n give him ! next dance he asks = unless %e believes him to be excusable4 ,a man invit$ to a dance w prop]ly pay p>ticul> att5tion to ! "y ladies ( ! family ^: gue/ he is1 & w n neglect to ask _! "m = "o numb] if %e be danc+4 ,a conv5i5t phrase cov]+ any d\bt z to :e!r a girl or woman wi%es to take active "p 9 ! fe/ivities is1 8,are y danc+ to-night80 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,ho/ess ,,at ,a ,,dance ,! ho/ess at a dance mu/ d5y h]self all danc+1 unless h] gue/s are provid$ ) p>tn]s--or1 at lea/1 %e %\ld n dance dur+ ! fir/ "p ( ! ev5+ if o!r wom5 are unsuppli$ ) p>tn]s4 ,at a l>ge ball ! ho/ess frequ5tly has a floor committee ( h] m5 fri5ds to see t sets are =m$ & t p>tn]s are provid$ = comp>ative /rang]s4 ,no hirel+s w d ?is s skilfully or ) s mu* tact z w ! p]sonal fri5ds ( ! ent]ta9]s4 ,a "y girl may1 aft] a dance1 ask to be tak5 to h] *ap]on1 or to "s o!r fri5d4 ,%e %\ld1 soon aft] ! dance giv5 to "o man1 dismiss him pleasantly1 t he may asc]ta9 ! :]eab\ts ( 8 next p>tn] be=e ! beg9n+ ( ! next dance4 99 99 99 99 99 ,at a small h\se dance or o!r in=mal p>ty ! ho/ess sometimes provides = ! prop] att5dance = ! girls go+ home b x is n (t5 wise to dep5d on ?is4 ,a girl1 if %e is go+ to ! home ( an intimate fri5d1 ne$ n h a *ap]on1 b %e %\ld arrange t "s "o call = h] & ?us relieve h] ho/ess ( :at is sometimes a try+ responsibility4 ,if ! gue/ be a mature woman %e may enjoy absolute indep5d5ce by tak+ a cab4 ,! etiquette gov]n+ w$d+s & w$d+ receptions w be expla9$ 9 ! *apt]s on 8,w$d+s40 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,engag$ ,,c\ple ,9 our =emo!rs' day ! publicity ( ! decl>$ engagem5t 0 a ?+ unkn[n4 ,n[1 ! behavior ( ! affianc$ pair & :at is due to !m f society des]ve a page ( _! own4 ,p]haps ! mo/ ill-at-ease c\ple are ! newly-m>ri$1 b ! engag$ c\ple presses !m h>d 9 ?is l9e4 ,to behave well "u ! try+ conditions att5dant ^u a rec5tly-ann\nc$ engagem5t dem&s tact & unselfi%ness4 ,x %\ld n be necess>y to rem9d any well-br$ girl or man t public exhibitions ( affection are vulg>1 or t self-absorption1 or absorption 9 ea* o!r1 is 9 wret*$ ta/e4 ,! girl %\ld act t[>d h] betro!d 9 company z if he 7 h] bro!r or any tru/$ man fri5d1 avoid+ all l[-voic$ or seem+ly confid5tial conv]sation4 ,! man1 :ile att5tive to e want & wi% ( ! woman he loves1 mu/ /ill m+le ) o!rs & talk ) !m1 =c+ himself1 if necess>y1 to recollect t !re are o!r wom5 9 ! _w besides ! "o ( 8 *oice4 ,! fact t romantic "y p & critical old] ones are wat*+ ! behavior ( ! newly-engag$ pair & comm5t+ m5tally !reon1 is naturally a s\rce ( emb>rassm5t to ^? mo/ ne>ly conc]n$ 9 ! matt]4 ,b let ea* rememb] t p are becom+ engag$ ea* h\r1 t no /range outw>d trans=mation has come ov] !m1 & t all evid5ces ( ! m>vel\s *ange :i* ea* may feel has trans=m$ life = him or h] may be %[n :5 !y are 9 private4 ,if !y love ea* o!r1 _! happ9ess is too sacr$ a ?+ to be dragg$ =? = public view4 ,x is cu/om>y1 :5 an engagem5t is ann\nc$1 = ! fri5ds ( ! happy girl to s5d h] fl[]s1 or "s da9ty betro?al gift4 ,%e mu/ ackn[l$ge ea* ( ^! by a note ( ?anks & appreciation4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,ann\nc+ ,,engagem5ts ,x is n good =m = a girl to ann\nce h] own engagem5t1 except to h] own family & de> fri5ds4 ,a fri5d ( ! family may d ?is1 ei!r at a lun*eon or p>ty giv5 = ?is purpose1 or by m5tion+ x to ! p]sons :o w be int]e/$ 9 ! pleasant news4 ,:5 a girl is congratulat$1 %e %\ld smile frankly & say 8,?ank y60 ,%e %\ld drill h]self n to appe> uncom=tably emb>rass$4 ,! same rule applies to ! happy man4 ,! conv5tional diamond solitaire r+ is n worn until ! engagem5t is ann\nc$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,w$d+ ,,anniv]s>ies ,! happily m>ri$ (t5 consid] ! ,great ,ev5t ( _! lives ( suffici5t int]e/ to ! _w-at-l>ge to be commemorat$ by ye>ly fe/ivities4 ,c>ds = w$d+ anniv]s>ies be> ! names ( ! m>ri$ pair1 ! h\rs ( ! reception to be giv5 & ! two dates1 ?us3 ,june #ae1 #ahhj----;,june #ae1 #aije4 ,if ! anniv]s>y be ! ,silv] ,w$d+ ! script may be 9 silv]2 if a ,gold5 ,w$d+1 9 gilt4 ,wood5 ,w$d+ invitations1 engrav$ or writt5 on pap] 9 close imitation ( bir* b>k1 are pretty4 ,at "o su* affair all decorations 7 ( %av+s1 & ! refre%m5ts 7 s]v$ on wood5 plates4 ,! ,wood5 ,w$d+ is celebrat$ aft] an int]val ( five ye>s4 ,at a ,t9 ,w$d+1 t9w>e 0 us$ ext5sively1 ev5 ! pun* be+ tak5 f small t9 cups & dipp]s4 ,?is w$d+ m>ks ! flight ( t5 ye>s ( m>ri$ life4 ,! reception is usually held 9 ! ev5+1 & husb& & wife receive toge!r1 &1 if refre%m5ts are s]v$ at tables1 !y sit side by side4 ,x is prop] to s5d an anniv]s>y pres5t suitable to ! occasion4 ,su* a gift is accompani$ by a c>d be>+ ! "n ( ! s5d]1 & ! ^w 8,congratulations40 ,x is cu/om>y to s5d su* a gift only a day or two be=e ! celebration ( ! anniv]s>y4 ,an anniv]s>y reception is j l a reception giv5 at any o!r "t1 & rules = conduct+ su* a "o apply to ?is affair4 ,to repeat ! w$d+ c]emony1 z is sometimes done1 is 9 bad ta/e4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,*ri/5+ ,,p>ties ,9 close sequ5ce to w$d+s & w$d+ anniv]s>ies we give a few g5]al directions = ! conduct ( *ri/5+-p>ties4 ,z ! small infant is suppos$ to be asleep e>ly 9 ! ev5+1 ! *ri/5+ c]emony %\ld take place 9 ! morn+ or aft]noon4 ,z x is n always conv5i5t = ! bus9ess m5 ( ! family to get (f 9 ! daytime on week days1 ,sunday aft]noon is (t5 *os5 = su* an affair4 ,e pray]-book conta9s a description ( ! duties ( godfa!rs & godmo!rs1 if "o belongs to a *ur* hav+ su*4 ,if n1 ! fa!r holds ! *ild1 & ! fa!r & "m take ^u !m ! v[s ( ! *ur* to :i* !y belong4 ,aft] ! religi\s s]vice ! little "o is pass$ ab\t among ! gue/s1 & is !n tak5 by ! nurse to ! upp] regions1 :ile ^? assembl$ 9 its honor regale ! inn] man ) refre%m5ts provid$ = ! occasion4 ,! godfa!r & godmo!r make a gift to ! *ild--usually "s piece ( silv] or jewelry4 ,?is is display$ on a table 9 ! draw+-room ) any o!r pres5ts t ! invit$ gue/s may br+ or s5d4 ,x is ! prop] ?+ = ! gue/s to congratulate ! p>5ts on ! acquisition to ! family & to wi% ! *ild heal? & happ9ess4 ,h&some call+ g[ns are en rgle at a *ri/5+4 99 99 99 99 99 ,refre%m5ts are (t5 s]v$ en buffet at home w$d+s & at receptions b !re is always "s awkw>dness atta*$ to ?is me?od4 ,to provide small tables = "o's gue/s to be seat$ at is mu* ! bett] way :5 x is practicable4 ,y w seem m hospitable & y\r gue/ w be m com=table4 ,! p]son :o eats /&+ always has a cat*-a-tra9 look4 ,sid5ote3 ,,tak+ ,,leave ,if oblig$ = any reason to leave unusually e>ly at any p>ty1 g z quietly z possible4 ,no ho/ess likes to h h] ent]ta9m5t brok5 (f unseasonably4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,m>g9 ,,( ,,mann]s ,nev] hesitate at any social ga!r+ to speak pleasantly to any "o y *ance to be ?r[n ) or to respond to any "o :o speaks to y1 ev5 ?\gh no introduction has tak5 place4 ,9 ,engl&1 few =mal introductions are made1--z ! phrase goes1 8! ro( is ! introduction40 ,a pass+ c\rtesy ( ?is sort commits y to no?+ :ile x has a broad social value4 ,nev] indulge 9 snubs4 ,if y are op5 to no high] appeal1 rememb] t x pays to be civil all r\nd4 ,james has spok5 ( 8! m>g9 ( mann]s10--x is a useful asset4 99 99 99 99 99 ,9 rec5t ye>s x has become p]missible = ! woman :o wi%es to give a l>ge ent]ta9m5t to d x at a club-h\se or 9 a hotel ballroom hir$ = ! occasion4 ,frequ5tly ! room is made m attractive by ! addition ( rugs & o!r furni%+s f ! home ( ! ho/ess4 ,:ile ! hir$ hall is a conv5i5ce1 & to ! woman liv+ 9 an ap>tm5t a necessity = receptions & dances1 x c nev] take 9 elegance & ! _s ( true hospitality ! place ( ent]ta9+ "u "o's ro(4 ,:5 "o sees wom5 ( weal? & leisure resort to x--8,because x saves bo!r1 y "k0--"o feels t ^! wom5 mu/ reg>d ! ev5ts ( social life z disagreeable duties r ?an delightful opportunities4 99 99 99 99 99 ,) u 8,bonnets be=e six b n aft]0 is ! rule1 & ?is is also ! cu/om 9 ,engl&4 ,b at =mal receptions 9 ! ev5+ 9 ,france ! hat is reta9$4 ,! comb9ation ( picture-hat & l[-cut g[n is p>ticul>ly attractive & "o wi%es t ,am]ican wom5 w\ld occasionally1 at lea/1 copy x4 ,sid5ote3 ,,h ,,pl5ty ,,( ,,*airs ,if y give a musicale be sure y provide pl5ty ( *airs4 ,to d ?is "o mu/1 un=tunately1 r5t fold+ *airs & ^! always h a slight fun]eal aspect4 ,b t is bett] ?an compell+ p to /&4 ,"o wond]s :y wom5 ( l>ge means1 :o ent]ta9 on a correspond+ scale1 d n buy sev]al doz5 ( ^! *airs & /a9 !m d>k4 ,a woman :o spoke ( a c]ta9 h\se z hospitable 9 appe>ance1 be+ ask$ :at %e meant1 answ]$1 8,!re are s _m places 9 x to sit40 ,a woman :o is n will+ to take ! tr\ble to be a ho/ess %\ld n ask p to h] h\se4 ,9 ord] to make ev5 a simple ent]ta9m5t a success x is necess>y t !re %\ld be a direct+ ?\gh quiet influ5ce4 ,"s wom5 are too /r5u\s z ho/esses1 o!rs are m]ely gue/s at _! own p>ties4 ,"h z else:]e !re is a m$ium c\rse t is mo/ to be desir$4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,ideal ,,society ,! _s ( an ideal society has be5 well express$ by ,amiel 9 8 fam\s ,j\rnal3 8,9 society p are expect$ to behave z if !y liv$ on ambrosia & conc]n$ !mselves ) no?+ b ! l(tie/ int]e/s4 ,anxiety1 ne$1 passion1 h no exi/5ce4 ,all realism is suppress$ z brutal4 ,9 a ^w1 :at we call #8society' proce$s = ! mom5t on ! flatt]+ illusory assumption t x is mov+ 9 an e!real atmosph]e & brea?+ ! air ( ! gods4 ,all vehem5ce1 all natural expression1 all real suff]+1 all c>eless famili>ity1 or any frank sign ( passion1 are />tl+ & di/a/eful 9 ?is delicate milieu2 !y at once de/roy ! common "w1 ! cl\d palace1 ! magical ar*itectural :ole1 :i* has be5 rais$ by ! g5]al cons5t & ef=t4 ,x is l ! %>p cock-cr[ :i* breaks ! spell ( all en*antm5ts1 & puts ! fairies to flight4 ,^! select ga!r+s produce1 )\t kn[+ x1 a sort ( conc]t = eyes & e>s1 an improvis$ "w ( art4 ,by ! in/9ctive collaboration ( ev]ybody conc]n$1 intellect & ta/e hold fe/ival1 & ! associations ( reality are ex*ang$ = ! associations ( imag9ation4 ,s und]/ood1 society is a =m ( poetry2 ! cultivat$ classes delib]ately recompose ! idyll ( ! pa/ & ! buri$ _w ( ,a/rea4 ,p>adox or no1 ,i believe t ^! fugitive attempts to recon/ruct a dream ^: only end is beauty repres5t confus$ rem9isc5ces ( an age ( gold haunt+ ! human he>t1 or r aspirations t[>d a h>mony ( ?+s :i* e-day reality d5ies to u1 & ( :i* art alone gives u a glimpse40 ,sid5ote3 ,a ,,p]fect ,,social ,,gr\p ,speak+ ( a c]ta9 soire1 ! same writ] emphasizes ! fact t ! mo/ beautiful social gr\ps are n conf9$ to any "o age or sex4 8,ab\t ?irty p repres5t+ our be/ society 7 !re1 a happy mixture ( sexes & ages4 ,!re 7 gray heads1 "y girls1 bright faces--! :ole fram$ 9 "s ,aubusson tape/ries :i* made a *>m+ backgr\nd1 & gave a s(t air ( di/ances to ! brilliantly-dress$ gr\ps40 ,,*apt] ,,vii ,,! ,,home ,,w$d+ ,,to a home w$d+1 invitations may be issu$ two weeks 9 advance4 ,_! /yle dep5ds ^u h[ =mal ! function is to be4 ,if a quiet family affair1 ! notes ( invitation may be writt5 9 ! fir/ p]son by ! bride's "m1 z3 8,my ,de> ,m>y3 8,hel5 & ,mr4 ,jones are to be m>ri$ on ,w$nesday1 ,octob] ! ?irte5?1 at f\r o'clock4 ,! m>riage w be v quiet1 ) none b ! family & mo/ intimate fri5ds pres5t4 ,we hope t y w be ( t numb]4 ,hel5 s5ds h] love & begs t y w come to see h] m>ri$4 8,fai?fully y\rs1 0,joanna ,smi?40 ,?is k9d ( note is1 ( c\rse1 only p]missible = ! mo/ in=mal affairs4 ,= ! usual home m>riage1 c>ds1 :i* read z foll[s1 may be issu$3 8,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,nelson ,br[n reque/ ! pleasure ( ,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,blank's company at ! m>riage ( _! daught] on ! aft]noon ( ,w$nesday1 ! ?irte5? ( ,octob]1 at f\r o'clock1 at ,"o hundr$ & =ty-f\r ,madison ,squ>e1 ,bo/on40 ,or ! invitations may read3 8,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,nelson ,br[n reque/ ! pleasure ( y\r company at ! m>riage ( _! daught]1 ,hel5 ,adams1 to ,mr4 ,*>les ,sprague1 on ,tuesday aft]noon1 ,octob] ! ?irte5?1 at f\r o'clock40 8,r4 s4 v4 p40 may be add$ if desir$4 ,"s p pref] to 8reque/ ! honor (10 etc41 z m elegant4 ,sid5ote3 ,,w$d+ ,,c>ds ,w$d+-c>ds are enclos$ 9 two envelopes1 ) ! inn] "o be>+ ! "n only & left unseal$4 ,sunday w$d+s are n good =m1 & ,friday is1 ow+ to ! old sup]/ition1 n popul>4 ,probably m w$d+s take place on ,w$nesday ?an on any o!r day4 99 99 99 99 99 ,at a home w$d+1 ! bride (t5 has b "o girl att5dant1 & t "o is ! maid ( honor4 ,! bride tells h] :at k9d ( dress %e wi%es h] to we>1 & ! bridegroom provides h] b\quet = h]4 ,he also s5ds ! bride h] b\quet4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,matt] ,,( ,,exp5ses ,! w$d+ exp5ses ( ! bridegroom are ! fl[]s = ! bride & h] maid ( honor or bridesmaids1 ! c>riage 9 :i* he takes 8 bride to ! tra91 ! c>riages = be/ man & u%]s1 & ! cl]gyman's fee4 ,besides ?is1 he usually provides 8 u%]s & be/ man ) a sc>f-p94 ,9 "s cases he gives ^! att5dants also _! gloves & ties2 sometimes he does n4 ,! bride's family pays all o!r exp5ses1 includ+ ! decorat+ ( ! h\se1 ! invitations & ann\ncem5t c>ds & ! cat]]4 ,if gue/s f a di/ance are to be met at ! tra9 by c>riages1 ! bride's fa!r pays = ^!4 99 99 99 99 99 ,we w suppose t at ! h\se w$d+ ) :i* we h to d ! only att5dants are ! be/ man1 two u%]s & ! maid ( honor1 & t ! c]emony is at high noon1 or twelve o'clock4 ,! matt] ( lights at ?is function is l>gely a "q ( ta/e4 ,if ! day be brilliantly cle>1 x seems a pity to %ut ! glori\s sun%9e f ! h\se4 ,!re=e _m brides decl9e to h ! curta9s drawn at ! noon h\r4 ,_m p]sons pref] ! light f ! %ad$ lamps & c&les1 z be+ m becom+ ?an ! gl>e ( day4 ,! w$d+-breakfa/ is provid$ by a cat]] always :5 su* a ?+ is possible4 ,x may consi/ ( ic$ or jelli$ b\illon1 lob/] cutlets1 *ick5 pts1 a salad1 ) cakes1 ices & c(fee4 ,?is m5u c be add$ to or elaborat$1 z incl9ation may dictate4 ,sweetbread pts may take ! place ( *ick5 pts4 ,a froz5 pun* may take ! place ( ! ord9>y ices1 &1 if "o wi%1 a game c\rse be introduc$4 ,a heavy breakfa/ is1 h[ev]1 a t$i\s & unnecess>y affair4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,bride',s ,,dress ,! bride's dress1 if %e be a "y girl1 mu/ be :ite ) a veil4 ,a tra9 is advisable1 z x adds elegance & dignity to ! co/ume4 ,! wai/ is made ) a high neck & long sleeves & :ite gloves are worn4 ,! veil is turn$ back f ! face & rea*es to ! bottom ( ! tra9 :]e x is held 9 place by sev]al pe>l-head$ p9s4 ,a s+le fold ( tulle hangs ov] ! face1 be+ sep>at$ f ! ma9 veil4 ,?is is ?r[n back aft] ! c]emony4 ,! bridegroom we>s a black frock coat1 gray tr\s]s1 :ite wai/coat1 :ite tie1 light gray or pe>l gloves & pat5t lea!r %oes4 ,8 u%]s dress 9 mu* ! same fa%ion4 ,! maid ( honor we>s a g[n ( :ite or v light color1 ) a slight tra91 & a picture hat1 or n1 z %e wi%es4 ,:5 becom+1 an entire co/ume ( pale p9k1 ) a l>ge hat trimm$ ) long plumes ( ! same %ade1 is v /rik+4 ,! b\quet c>ri$ by ! bridesmaid w h>monize ) ! color ( h] g[n4 ,( c\rse1 ! bride's b\quet w be :ite1 & is usually compos$ ( h] favorite blossoms4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,w$d+ ,,r+ ,! old fa%ion ( ripp+ ! ?ird f+] ( ! bride's left-h& glove1 s t ?is f+] might be slipp$ (f = ! adju/+ ( ! r+1 is no long] 9 vogue4 ,in/ead ( ?is ! left-h& glove is remov$ entirely at t "p ( ! c]emony :5 ! r+ is plac$ on ! bride's f+] by ! bridegroom4 99 99 99 99 99 ,at a h\se w$d+ ! gue/s assemble ne> ! h\r nam$1 leave _! wraps 9 ! dress+-rooms1 !n wait 9 ! draw+-room = ! w$d+4 ,! :ole p>lor-floor is decorat$ ) natural fl[]s1 g>l&s ( ^! be+ twi/$ ab\t ! balu/rades1 & mak+ a b[] ( ! room 9 :i* ! m>riage is to take place4 ,if "o c af=d to d s1 "o may pref] to leave ! matt] ( floral decorations to an exp]i5c$ flori/1 b any p]son ) ta/e c successfully decorate ! rooms4 ,a scre5 ( gre51 dott$ ) fl[]s1 may /& at ! end ( ! room 9 :i* ! m>riage is to be solemniz$1 & an ar* ( fl[]s is ?r[n ov] ?is4 ,)9 ?is ar* ! cl]gyman1 ! bridegroom & ! be/ man may await ! arrival ( ! w$d+ gue/s1 z ! w$d+ m>* beg9s4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,w$d+ ,,procession ,! portires1 %utt+ (f ! draw+-room f ! hall1 are clos$ :5 ! "t arrives = ! bridal p>ty to desc5d ! /airs4 ,z !y rea* ! hall ! /ra9s ( ! w$d+ m>* s\nd4 ,"o ^w z to ! or*e/ra4 ,?is %\ld be /ation$ at su* a di/ance f ! cl]gyman & bridal p>ty t its /ra9s w n dr[n ! words ( ! s]vice4 ,s9ce ,fa%ion decrees t music %\ld be play$ dur+ ! s]vice1 x %\ld be s s(t & l[ t x acc5tuates1 r ?an muffles ! voices ( ! p>ticipants 9 ! c]emony4 ,l\d /ra9s detract f ! impressiv5ess ( ! occasion1 & cause a feel+ ( irritation to ! p]sons :o w\ld n miss a s+le ^w ( ! solemn s]vice4 ,?r\gh ! door at ! opposite end ( ! room f t 9 :i* ! bridegroom /&s1 ent]s ! w$d+ procession4 ,! two u%]s come fir/1 hav+ a mom5t or two be=e m>k$ (f ! aisle1 by /ret*+ two l5g?s ( :ite sat9 ribbon f end to end ( ! room4 ,foll[+ ! u%]s walks ! bridesmaid alone1 &1 aft] h]1 on ! arm ( h] fa!r1 comes ! bride4 ,at ! improvis$ alt>1 or at ! cu%ions ^u :i* ! bridal c\ple are to kneel1 ! u%]s sep>ate1 "o go+ to ea* side4 ,! maid ( honor moves to ! left ( ! bride1 & ! fa!r lays ! bride's h& 9 ! h& ( ! bridegroom1 !n /&s a little 9 ! re> until he gives h] away1 aft] :i* po9t 9 ! c]emony he /eps back among ! gue/s1 or at "o side1 ap>t f ! bridal gr\p4 ,! be/ man /&s on ! bridegroom's "r4 ,x is he :o gives ! r+ to ! cl]gyman1 :o h&s x to ! bridegroom1 :o places x on ! f+] ( ! bride4 ,sid5ote3 ,,receiv+ ,,congratulations ,:5 ! r+ is to be put on1 ! bride h&s h] b\quet to ! maid ( honor1 & draws (f h] left-h& glove1 giv+ t also to ! maid ( honor1 :o holds bo? until aft] ! b5$iction4 ,aft] congratulat+ ! newly-w$d$ pair1 ! cl]gyman gives !m 8 place1 & !y /& fac+ ! company1 to receive congratulations4 ,! bride's "m %\ld h be5 9 ! p>lor to receive ! gue/s z !y arriv$1 & dur+ ! c]emony /&s at ! end ( ! room ne> ! bridal p>ty4 ,%e %\ld be ! fir/ to congratulate ! happy c\ple1 ! bridegroom's p>5ts foll[+ ^? ( ! bride4 ,! maid ( honor /&s by ! bride :ile %e receives4 99 99 99 99 99 ,aft] congratulations h be5 ext5d$1 ! w$d+-breakfa/ is s]v$ at little tables plac$ ab\t ! v>i\s rooms4 ,! bride & h] p>ty may1 if desir$1 h a table to !mselves1 & ^u ?is may be a w$d+-cake1 to be cut by ! bride4 ,?is is n ess5tial & has1 ( late ye>s1 be5 l>gely sup]s$$ by ! squ>es ( w$d+ cake1 pack$ 9 da9ty boxes1 "o ( :i* is h&$ to ea* gue/ on leav+4 ,:5 ! "t comes = ! bride to *ange h] dress %e slips quietly f ! room1 accompani$ by h] maid ( honor4 ,! bridegroom goes to an ap>tm5t assign$ to him & 8 be/ man to put on 8 travel+ suit4 ,lat]1 ! maid ( honor may come d[n & tell ! bride's "m 9 an 8aside0 t %e may n[ g up & bid h] daught] good-by 9 ! privacy ( h] own room4 ,aft]w>d ! "y husb& & wife desc5d ! /airs toge!r1 say good-by 9 g5]al to ! gue/s await+ !m 9 ! l[] hall1 & drive (f1 g5]ally1 "o regrets to say1 amid %[]s ( rice4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,z ,,to ,,practical ,,jokes ,i w\ld say j "h t ! play+ ( practical jokes on a bridal pair is a =m ( pleasantry t %\ld be conf9$ to classes ^: intellects h n be5 cultivat$ above ! appreciation ( su* co>se fun4 ,to tie a :ite sat9 b[ on ! trunk ( ! s-call$ happy pair s t all pass5g]s may take note ( !m1 is h>dly k9d4 ,b je/+ comp>$ to "s ( ! de$s done4 ,a few weeks ago ! pap]s gave an acc\nt ( a groomsman :o slipp$ h&cuffs ^u ! wri/s ( bride & bridegroom1 !n lo/ ! key1 & ! emb>rass$ c\ple _h to wait = _! tra91 *a9$ toge!r1 until a file c\ld be procur$1 by :i* "t _! tra9 _h left4 ,su* =ms ( buffoon]y may be div]t+ to ! p]petrator2 !y c]ta9ly are n amus+ to ! suff]]s4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,quiet ,,w$d+ ?is is ref9$ ,a girl :o is to be m>ri$ quietly ) only relatives or intimate fri5ds pres5t (t5 says1 9 expla9+ ?is fact1 8,i'm n go+ to h a w$d+40 ,! expression is n well *os51 = x inevitably sugge/s t ! glitt] ( ! c]emony is 9 h] eyes m important ?an ! solemn words :i* are ! w$d+4 ,,*apt] ,,viii ,,! ,,*ur* ,,w$d+ ,,!re is ab\t a *ur* w$d+ a =mality t is disp5s$ ) at a home c]emony4 ,! c>ds ( invitation may be engrav$ 9 ! same =m z ^? describ$ 9 ! la/ *apt]1 b ! *ur* at :i* ! m>riage is to take place is m5tion$ in/ead ( ! resid5ce ( ! bride's p>5ts4 ,if 9 a l>ge city :]e curiosity seek]s are likely to cr[d into ! edifice1 x is cu/om>y to enclose ) ! c>d ( invitation a small c>d to be pres5t$ at ! door4 ,only be>]s ( ^! bits ( pa/ebo>d are admitt$4 ,) ! invitations may be c>ds = ! reception or ! w$d+-breakfa/ to foll[ ! c]emony4 ,^! c>ds dem& acceptances or regrets1 :i* %\ld always be address$ to ! "m ( ! bride1 nev] to ! bride-elect4 99 99 99 99 99 ,! decorations = a *ur* w$d+ may be elaborate4 ,z a rule1 "o color s*eme is *os51 & c>ri$ out ?r\gh all ! arrangem5ts4 ,= example1 ! color+ is p9k & :ite1 & if ! w$d+ is 9 ! autumn1 *rysan!mums may be ! *os5 fl[]s1 if 9 ! summ]1 roses4 ,! matt] ( decorations is usually put into ! h&s ( a flori/4 ,:ite sat9 ribbon is /ret*$ across ! pews to be occupi$ by ! memb]s ( ! two families or1 m c\rte\sly1 l>ge b[s ( x are fa/5$ at ! end ( ea*1 & to ^! pews ! de/9$ occupants are conduct$ by ! u%]s a %ort "t be=e ! bridal p>ty ent]s ! edifice4 ,a li/ ( ! p]sons entitl$ to sit 9 ^! pews %\ld be giv5 to ! *ief u%]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,duties ,,( ,,! ,,u%]s ,at a l>ge & elaborate w$d+ six or eight u%]s are (t5 ne$$4 ,sometimes an u%] foll[s ! old] cu/om ( giv+ 8 arm to a lady1 b he may be less =mal if he *oose & m]ely prec$e h] d[n ! aisle4 ,!re is an equal numb] ( bridesmaids1 a maid ( honor & a be/ man4 ,! be/ man1 ! bridegroom1 & ! cl]gyman ent] ! *ur* by ! ve/ry door1 & await at ! alt> ! com+ ( ! bride & h] att5dants4 ,! organ1 :i* has be5 play+ = "s mom5ts1 ann\nces ! arrival ( ! w$d+ p>ty by ! op5+ /ra9s ( ! w$d+ m>*4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,w$d+ ,,c]emony ,:5 ! c>riages conta9+ ! p>ty arrive at ! *ur* door ! u%]s g d[n ! canopy-cov]$ walk & help ! girls to alight1 convey !m into ! ve/ibule & close ! out] doors ( ! *ur* :ile ! procession =ms4 ,!n ! inside doors are ?r[n op5 & z ! organ peals =? ! w$d+ m>*1 ! procession passes up ! aisle at a dignifi$ pace1 b n1 let u hope1 at ! pa9fully sl[ gait "s p]sons ?9k necess>y4 ,fir/1 come ! u%]s1 two by two1 next1 ! bridesmaids 9 pairs1 !n ! maid ( honor1 walk+ alone1 & ! bride on ! arm ( h] fa!r1 or o!r mascul9e relative if h] fa!r is n liv+4 ,z ! alt> is rea*$ ! u%]s divide1 half ! numb] go+ to ! "r1 ! o!r half to ! left1 !n ! bridesmaids d ! same1 pass+ 9 front ( ! u%]s & =m+ a portion ( a circle ne>] ! alt>4 ,! maid ( honor1 :o is sometimes n[1 in/ead1 a matron ( honor1 /&s ne> ! bride1 on h] left h&1 & ! be/ man /&s ne> ! bridegroom's "r4 ,! bridegroom1 /epp+ =w>d to meet ! bride1 takes h] h& & leads h] to _! place 9 front ( ! cl]gyman1 ! fa!r rema9+ /&+ a little 9 ! re> ( ! bride & to "o side until t portion ( ! s]vice is rea*$ :5 ! cl]gyman asks1 8,:o give? ?is woman to be m>ri$ to ?is man80 ,he !n takes 8 daught]'s h&1 & lay+ x 9 ! h& ( ! bridegroom1 replies1 8,i d40 ,aft] ?is he /eps quietly d[n f ! *ancel & takes 8 place 9 ! pew ) 8 wife1 or ! o!r memb]s ( ! family4 ,if ! bride's fa!r is dead 8 place may be tak5 by any middle-ag$ man relative or family fri5d4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,duty ,,( ,,! ,,be/ ,,man ,dur+ ! c]emony ! be/ man /&s at ! "r ( ! bridegroom1 & a trifle beh9d him1 tak+ *>ge ( 8 fri5d's hat & h&+ him ! r+ :5 x is ne$$4 ,x is he1 also1 :o pays ! cl]gyman & if a regi/] is to be sign$1 he signs x4 ,! f9al responsibility = a c]emony )\t an awkw>d hit* re/s on 8 %\ld]s & on ^? ( ! maid ( honor4 ,! maid ( honor1 /&+ ne> ! bride1 holds h] b\quet & takes h] glove :5 ! r+ is put on1 & cont9ues to hold !m until aft] ! b5$iction1 :i* ! bridal pair kneels to receive4 ,!n ! organ aga9 s\nds ! w$d+ m>*1 & ! gue/s rema9 /&+ z ! p>ty assembl$ at ! alt> moves d[n ! aisle4 ,fir/1 comes ! bride on h] husb&'s arm1 !n ! be/ man & ! maid ( honor toge!r1 !n ! u%]s & ! bridesmaids1 ea* girl on ! arm ( an u%]4 ,aft] t ! families ( ! bride & bridegroom leave4 ,! bridal p>ty is driv5 directly to ! home ( ! bride's p>5ts1 :]e ! w$d+-breakfa/ is s]v$ or1 if a reception foll[s ! w$d+1 :]e ! bride awaits ! arrival ( h] gue/s4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,arti/ic ,,bride ,! conv5tional dress = ! bride m>ri$ 9 daylight is ! same z = an ev5+ w$d+1 a tra9$ :ite g[n ) lace or tulle veil4 ,! same is true ( ! co/umes ( ! bridesmaids & maid ( honor4 ,^! are select$ by ! bride4 ,at "o p9k-&-:ite w$d+ ! bridesmaids wore p9k dresses ) p9k picture-hats1 :ile ! maid ( honor wore a g[n ( pale/ gre5 ) hat to mat*1--h]s be+ ! only t\* ( any color b p9k 9 ! assembly1 & s]v+ to acc5tuate ! g5]al rose-l s*eme4 ,! bridesmaids' b\quets are ( fl[]s to h>monize ) _! co/umes4 ,! bride's b\quet is always :ite1 bride roses be+ favorites = ?is purpose4 ,brides ) arti/ic natures :o f9d :ite sat9 & orange blossoms unbecom+1 sometimes arrange a s(t] co/ume t is /ill suffici5tly bride-l to satisfy s5tim5t4 ,(t5 little *ildr5 are us$ z att5dants = ! bride4 ,!y prec$e ! maid ( honor & may scatt] fl[] petals d[n ! aisle z !y g4 ,! effect is *>m+4 ,a matron ( honor mu/ we> a color$ co/ume4 ,at a day w$d+ ! bridegroom we>s a frock coat1 light gray tr\s]s1 :ite wai/coat1 :ite sat9 or silk tie & pat5t lea!r %oes4 ,( c\rse1 ! only hat p]missible ) a frock coat is a high silk "o4 ,! gloves are :ite1 or pale gray4 ,! u%]s' dress is ! same except t _! ties ne$ n be :ite4 ,at an ev5+ w$d+ full dress is1 ( c\rse1 necess>y4 ,!n ! bridegroom we>s 8 dress suit1 :ite wai/coat1 :ite lawn tie & :ite gloves4 ,! u%]s are dress$ 9 ! same mann]4 ,sid5ote3 ,,gifts ,,to ,,bridesmaids ,x is cu/om>y = ! bride to give h] bridesmaids "s little gift4 ,?is may be a /ick-p9 or broo* be>+ ! int]tw9$ initials ( ! bridal pair4 ,?is p9 is usually worn by ! recipi5t at ! w$d+4 99 99 99 99 99 ,! bride & ! bridegroom ) ! bridesmaids /& toge!r at ! end ( ! draw+-room to receive ! gue/s4 ,an u%] meets ea* gue/ at 81 or h] arrival1 & (f]+ 8 arm1 escorts ! newcom] to ! bridal pair1 ask+ = ! "n z he does s4 ,?is "n he repeats di/9ctly on rea*+ ! bride1 :o ext5ds h] h& 9 greet+1 & receives congratulations4 ,! bridegroom is !n congratulat$1 & ! gue/ /raightway makes room = ! next com]4 ,"o is (t5 ask$ :at %\ld be said to ! newly-m>ri$ pair1--:at =m congratulations %\ld take1 & s on4 ,/ilt$ phrases are at all times to be avoid$1 & ! greet+ %\ld be z simple & /raight=w>d z possible4 ,x is good =m to wi% ! bride happ9ess1 :ile ! bridegroom is congratulat$4 ,?us "o says to ! bride1 8,i hope y w be v happy1--& ,i am sure y w40 ,& to ! bridegroom "o may say1--8,y d n ne$ to be told h[ mu* y are to be congratulat$1 = y "k x already4 ,/ill ,i d want to say t ,i congratulate y f my he>t40 ,a pretty cu/om foll[$ by "s brides is t ( turn+1 :5 half-way up ! /airs1 aft] ! reception or breakfa/ is ov]1 unty+ ! ribbon fa/5+ ! b\quet toge!r1 & scatt]+ ! fl[]s ?us releas$ among ! m5 wait+ 9 ! hall bel[4 ,?is disposes ( ! w$d+ b\quet :i* "o has n ! he>t to ?r[ away1 & yet :i* "o c n keep satisfactorily4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,display+ ,,gifts ,if gifts are display$ at a reception1 x %\ld be 9 an upp] room1 & all c>ds %\ld be remov$4 ,! bride may keep a li/ ( h] pres5ts & ( ! donors1 b to display c>ds gives an opportunity = invidi\s comp>isons4 ,m & m ! cu/om ( %[+ gifts1 except to intimate fri5ds 9 private1 is go+ out4 99 99 99 99 99 ,! tables = ! w$d+-breakfa/ may be plac$ ab\t ! draw+-rooms1 & ! gue/s are seat$ in=mally at !m4 ,! only exception to ?is rule is ! bride's table at :i* ! bridal p>ty sits4 ,z artificial lights are usually us$ at elaborate functions1 ev5 at high noon1 pretty c&elabra are ^u ea* table4 ,or1 if pref]r$1 fairy lamps may take ! place ( ! c&elabra4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,w$d+ ,,breakfa/ ,! m5u = ! w$d+-breakfa/ may consi/ ( grapefruit ) ,m>as*9o *]ries1 or ( oy/] cocktails1 or ( clams on ! half-%ell1 z a fir/ c\rse2 next1 hot clam b\illon 7unless clams h already be5 s]v$7 or *ick5 b\illon2 fi% 9 "s =m1 z fi% croquettes ) oy/]-crab sauce2 sweetbread pts ) gre5 peas2 broil$ *ick5 or ,fr5* *ops ) potato croquettes or ) ,p>isian potatoes2 pun* frapp2 game ) salad2 ices1 cakes1 c(fee4 ,if w9es are us$1 *ampagne is s]v$ ) ! breakfa/4 ,slices ( ! w$d+-cake pack$ 9 da9ty sat9-pap] boxes are giv5 to ! gue/s z !y leave4 ,! breakfa/ ov]1 ! bride slips away quietly1 to *ange h] dress = ! w$d+ j\rney1 & dep>ts z aft] a home w$d+4 99 99 99 99 99 ,! gue/s at a w$d+-breakfa/ mu/ call on ! "m ( ! bride )9 ?ree weeks aft] ! m>riage4 ,!y w1 ( c\rse1 call on ! bride on "o ( h] 8,at ,home0 days1 ! dates ( :i* are giv5 ) ! w$d+ invitations or ) ! ann\ncem5t c>ds4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,ann\ncem5t ,,c>ds ,ann\ncem5t c>ds are issu$ imm$iately aft] ! w$d+1 s mu/ be address$ & /amp$ ready to be mail$ at once4 ,! text usually us$ is ?is3 8,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,william ,edw9 ,burnham ann\nce ! m>riage ( _! daught]1 ,eleanor ,fair1 to ,mr4 ,john ,langdon ,morse1 on ,tuesday1 ! eigh? ( ,decemb]1 "o ?\s& n9e hundr$ & five1 at ,/4 ,mi*ael's ,*ur*1 ,dav5port1 ,i[a40 ,ano!r =m t is sometimes se5 is ! foll[+3 8,m>ri$1 ,w$nesday1 ,octob] elev5?1 #aijc2 ,flor5ce ,ar*] & ,john ,/aunton1 #ajai ,p5n ,/reet1 ,philadelphia40 ,?is la/ =m is seldom us$ except 9 cases :]e ! bride is s un=tunate z to h no relatives 9 ^: names %e may ann\nce h] m>riage4 ,) ! ann\ncem5t c>ds may be enclos$ ano!r c>d be>+ ! dates ( ! bride's 8,at ,home0 days1 & ! h\rs at :i* %e w receive4 ,ann\ncem5t c>ds are usually issu$ aft] a small or private w$d+ to :i* only a limit$ numb] ( gue/s h be5 invit$4 ,if ! w$d+ has be5 l>ge or 0 foll[$ by a l>ge reception to :i* all "o's call+ acqua9tances may be bidd51 ! ann\ncem5t c>ds are unnecess>y & ! 8,at ,home0 c>ds are issu$ ) ! invitations to ! m>riage1 or are s5t out aft] ! bride returns f h] trip4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,dress ,,= ,a ,,wid[ ,! dress = a wid[ at h] second m>riage %\ld be made ( "s elegant color$ fabric & %e %\ld we> a hat if ! c]emony is p]=m$ 9 a *ur*4 ,!re %\ld be no att5dants except ! fa!r or bro!r or an intimate fri5d4 ,a "y girl )\t p>5ts & ( limit$ income may q prop]ly be m>ri$ 9 h] travel+ co/ume & ) ! utmo/ simplicity4 ,if %e h a prop] s5se ( ! delicacy & solemnity ( ! occasion %e w n1 h[ev]1 g to ! h\se ( a /range cl]gyman = ! c]emony b h x p]=m$ 9 ! p>lor ( h] ne>e/ fri5d or relative4 ,9 ?is way %e %[s h] own good bre$+ & protects h]self f any idle rem>ks4 ,= a girl to jo9 h] fianc 9 a di/ant city & m>ry him !re is a /ep seldom tak5 9 wisdom1 :atev] ! circum/ances4 ,notes to all :o h s5t gifts mu/ be writt5 by ! bride be=e %e leaves home4 ,,*apt] ,,ix ,,! ,,d9n] ,,p>ty ,,! d9n] is ! mo/ important & ! mo/ delightful ( social functions4 ,x is ! mo/ civiliz$ ( ent]ta9m5ts1 & to say ( a t[n t x is a d9n]-giv+ t[n means t x has arriv$ socially4 ,?is fl[] ( hospitality blooms sl[ly4 ,9 _m we/]n places :]e ! reception1 ! aft]noon tea1 ! !at] p>ty & ! ladies' lun*eon fl\ri% l a gre5 bay tree1 ! d9n] is an unkn[n function4 ,a "y ho/ess is (t5 afraid ( attempt+ x1 z is also ! unaccu/om$ d9]-out4 ,yet x is n a =midable ent]ta9m5t1 rightly consid]$1 & :5 happily manag$ ! return x br+s f> outweighs ! outlay ( "t & tr\ble4 ,! d9n]1 height ( hospitality z x is1 is yet )9 ! rea* ( mo/ ( u z f> z exp5diture is conc]n$4 ,! co/ ( a d9n] may be mu* or little4 ,! m5u may be simple or elaborate4 ,five c\rses is en\gh = a da9ty satisfy+ meal1 yet eighte5 & tw5ty are sometimes s]v$4 ,! table decorations may be ( ! mo/ exp5sive sort2 yet a half-doz5 roses & c&les 9 keep+ are suffici5t to give a prop]ly fe/ive t\*4 ,! numb] ( s]vants requir$ dep5ds1 ( c\rse1 ^u ! elaborat5ess or simplicity ( ! m5u & ^u ! numb] ( gue/s to be s]v$4 ,! size ( ! d9n] p>ty is ela/ic1 ?\gh eighte5 at ! table is usually reg>d$ z ! maximum4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,small ,,d9n] ,! little d9n] p>ty has ! advantage ( be+ 9 "s ways a m attractive function ?an ! big "o1 z well z "o 9 :i* p ( small incomes may safely indulge4 ,:5 a d9n] is s l>ge t g5]al conv]sation is impossible1 x defeats its own purpose4 ,eight gue/s are a good numb]4 ,:y x %\ld be t t5 gue/s are /ill s few z to =m a little d9n] p>ty & t twelve gue/s und\bt$ly make a big d9n] p>ty is "o ( ^? inscrutable tru?s t x takes some?+ m ?an ari?metic to expla94 ,b s x is4 ,if ! gue/s are prop]ly *os5 = a small d9n] !re %\ld be 9 ! atmosph]e a comb9ation ( pretty =mality & agreeable famili>ity ab\t ?is function t no o!r c give 9 s l>ge a degree4 ,! *oice ( gue/s is1 ( c\rse1 ! fir/ & mo/ important consid]ation4 ,^u ?is m ?an ^u any o!r consid]ation dep5ds ! success ( y\r p>ty4 ,x does n d to invite p toge!r = comm]cial reasons simply or f any o!r purely selfi% motive4 ,x does n d to g ?r\gh "o's li/ & invite p1 by in/alm5ts1 /raight ?r\gh ! alphabet4 ,! ho/ess mu/ ex]cise all ! tact & discrim9ation ( :i* %e is possess$4 ,x is n always necess>y t ! p *os5 %\ld be fri5ds & acqua9tances b x is necess>y t !y h int]e/s1 broadly speak+1 ( ! same sort1 t !y h en\gh 9 common to make a basis = easy in=mal talk4 ,if ! p *os5 l "o ano!r or h ! capacity = int]e/+ & div]t+ "o ano!r1 ! ho/ess %\ld feel t ! weightie/ bus9ess is (f h] h&s4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,s5d+ ,,d9n] ,,invitations ,d9n] invitations %\ld be s5t out at lea/ a week be=e ! date ( ! function4 ,9 places :]e social life is ( a /r5u\s "* & p are likely to h _m engagem5ts ahead1 two weeks %\ld be all[$4 ,9 ,new ,york & ,wa%+ton1 invitations = =mal d9n]s are issu$ f\r weeks be=e ! ev5t4 ,! invitation to a d9n] %\ld be answ]$ imm$iately4 ,z ! numb] ( gue/s invit$ 9 any case is small1 ! ho/ess %\ld "k z soon z possible ! int5tion ( ^? invit$1 s t1 9 case ( a regret1 %e may fill ! place s quickly t ! p]son next *os5 may n realize t he is an alt]nate4 ,! lett]s ,r4 s4 v4 p4 %\ld n be put on a d9n] invitation4 ,any "o :o receives su* a c>d or note is suppos$ to und]/& t an answ] is expect$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,d9n] ,,m5u ,:5 ! gue/s are select$1 ! invitations deliv]$ & ! prop] numb] ( acceptances receiv$1 ! ho/ess may !n turn h] att5tion to ! o!r arrangem5ts4 ,! important matt] ( decid+ ^u ! m5u is next 9 ord]4 ,if ! ho/ess has an admirably tra9$ cook or is 9 a position to engage an exp]t cat]ess1 a consultation ) "o or ! o!r settles ! affair4 ,9 case %e has n ! "o & is n f9ancially able to engage ! o!r1 %e mu/ dep5d ^u h] own res\rces4 ,%e mu/ select a m5u :i* %e & h] maid c toge!r c>ry out successfully4 ,! composition ( a d9n] m5u is an employm5t t gives scope = tal5t & orig9ality4 ,! range ( possible di%es is l>ge1 ! v>iety 9 ! way ( comb9ation inexhau/ible4 ,to plan a d9n] t is at once palatable & pleas+ to ! eye requires no mean ability4 ,to a woman :o has a g5ius = cul9>y feats1 ?is sort ( accompli%m5t may be an ex]cise ( ! arti/ic faculties2 & ! effect produc$ ^u ! p>tak]s ( ! fea/ goes f> beyond m]e physical satisfaction4 ,if "o is 9 ! habit ( /udy+ cook-books1 :i* make m int]e/+ read+ ?an !y are g5]ally giv5 cr$it =1 ! opportunity af=d$ by a d9n] p>ty = ! display ( "o's k %\ld be z eag]ly welcom$ z ! opportunity (f]$ a viol9i/ = ! exhibition ( 8 art4 ,novelties are to be indulg$ 9 sp>+ly4 ,que] highly-color$ di%es make ! gue/s n]v\s z to ! hygi5ic results4 ,sid5ote3 ,,r\nd ,,or ,,squ>e ,,tables ,sometimes fa%ion decrees t a squ>e or oblong table is ! appropriate =m4 ,aga9 %e approves ! r\nd table4 ,at ! pres5t "t ! r\nd table has ! pref]5ce &1 z f> z ! pres5t writ] c see1 ) reason4 ,! r\nd table puts all ! d9]s on an equal foot+ in/ead ( e/abli%+ a sometimes emb>rass+ di/9ction betwe5 gue/s & ho/s4 ,its use makes x possible = ea* gue/ to h a good view ( e o!r gue/ & ?is promotes g5]al conv]sation4 ,add$ to ^! m]its is ano!r ( importance1 namely1 t a r\nd table is m susceptible ( attractive decoration4 ,_m p :o employ a squ>e table = family use1 employ on =mal occasions a r\nd top1 capable ( seat+ twelve or f\rte5 p1 :i* top c be plac$ above ! table commonly 9 use4 ,?is top :5 n 9 use folds toge!r on h+es 9 ! c5t]4 ,on occasion x c be clamp$ to ! table 9 ord9>y s t x holds p]fectly firm4 ,"o %\ld n ask m gue/s ?an ! table w roomily accommodate4 ,a woman gue/ w (t5 be glad ( a foot/ool4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,silv] ,,& ,,*9a ,on ! morn+ ( ! d9n] ! silv] & *9a necess>y %\ld be look$ ov] & lat] 9 ! day prop]ly plac$4 ,! table %\ld be arrang$ ) clo?1 ! napk9s1 ! v>i\s knives1 =ks & spoons1 ! fl[]s1 ! c&les1 & ! s]vice plates1 if su* are us$4 ,! *9a to be employ$ = ! v>i\s c\rses %\ld be plac$1 be=e ! d9n]1 9 ! butl]'s pantry 9 a way to promote1 z f> z possible1 swift & deft s]vice ) ! maid4 ,%e %\ld be in/ruct$ exactly :]e %e c lay h] h&s on ! di%es = ea* item 9 ! m5u s t h] att5dance may be exp]t & noiseless4 ,= h] b5efit x is well also to make out 9 good legible writ+1 ! m5u = ! meal & hang x 9 ! kit*5 9 full view ( h] & any o!r s]vants employ$ = ! occasion4 ,9 giv+ a d9n] no?+ %\ld be left to *ance4 ,e em]g5cy %\ld be tak5 into consid]ation & plann$ =4 ,9 small h\seholds :]e only "o maid is employ$1 a tra9$ waitress may be hir$ at small exp5se to help s]ve4 ,sid5ote3 ,,fl[]s ,,& ,,c&les ,! fl[]s to be us$ %\ld h "s relation to ! color ( ! c&les if c&les are us$4 ,a few fl[]s skilfully arrang$ are sometimes q z effective z a pr(usion4 ,a cle> glass j> :i* %[s /ems & leaves z well z blooms is a good inve/m5t = ! woman ^: love ( beauty goes fur!r ?an h] ability to pay4 ,! importance ( foliage is n always appreciat$4 ,"o ( ! clev]e/ m9or inv5tions = mak+ a few blossoms appe> to _! be/ advantage is ! cross-b> ( wire :i* "o f9ds n[ 9 ! %ops1 9 v>i\s sizes & fitt$ to ! tops ( v>i\s ornam5tal vases4 ,by ! use ( ?is device ea* fl[] /&s out 9 individual beauty4 ,! effect ( no s+le blossom is lo/4 ,avoid a c5t]piece t is s high z to ob/ruct ! view across ! table4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,lay+ ,,! ,,table ,! table-clo? & napk9s %\ld be ( pure :ite & ( ! f9e/ nap]y t "o c af=d4 ,silk & lace contraptions t w n /& wa%+ are 9 bad ta/e4 ,! table-clo? is n />*$ & pref]ably is nev] fold$ by ! laundress b roll$ s t :5 us$ x %[s no creases except "o d[n ! c5t]4 ,fir/ on ! table is laid a heavy felt clo? kn[n z ! sil5ce clo?1 :i*1 besides dead5+ s\nds1 s]ves to make ! damask lie m smoo?ly & gives x a ri*]1 h&som] appe>ance ?an if x 7 spread on ! b>e bo>ds4 ,if ! game or jo9ts are to be s]v$ f ! table1 a c>v]'s squ>e %\ld be laid at ! head ( ! table & b5ea? x a ?ick mat = ! protection ( ! table surface4 ,beside ?is squ>e are laid ! c>v+ knife & =k1 a table spoon & a gravy ladle4 ,at ea* gue/'s place1 is set a 8s]vice plate10 insi/$ on by ! punctili\s :o *oose to obey ! unwritt5 rule ( hospitality t a gue/ once seat$ is nev] )\t a plate4 ,?is plate is ex*ang$ by ! waitress = ! "o be>+ ! food :5 x is s]v$4 ,to ! left ( ?is plate w be arrang$ ! =ks1 t9es upw>d4 ,^! w ord9>ily consi/ ( two l>ge =ks = ! ma9 meat c\rse & ! salad1 !n a ?ird =k = ! fi% & outside ( ^! a small oy/] =k if !re is to be a c\rse ( raw oy/]s4 ,at ! "r ( ! plate w be two d9n] knives ) ! edges ( ! blades turn$ t[>d ! plate1 a fi% knife1 & ! spoons1 includ+ fir/ a small spoon = ! aft]-d9n] c(fee4 ,! spoon t w be us$ fir/ is plac$ on ! outside = obvi\s reasons4 ,! s\p spoon ) ! b[l upp]mo/ w be plac$ ei!r at "r angles to ! knives or f "r to left back ( ! plate4 ,! wat] glass & ! glasses = w9e1 if ^! are us$1 /& to ! "r & back1 a little beyond ! knives4 ,z butt] is n s]v$ at =mal d9n]s ! bread & butt] plate & butt] spread] are omitt$4 ,! fold$ napk9 conta9+ ! d9n] roll is laid to ! "r ( ! knives or on ! s]vice plate4 ,fancy fold+s ( ! napk9 are n approv$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,skilful ,,maid ,:5 ! waitress h&s a di% f :i* ! gue/ mu/ s]ve himself %e (f]s x on ! left s t he may use 8 "r h& freely4 ,h[ev]1 :5 %e puts a plate be=e him1 %e %\ld d x f ! "r4 ,_m ho/esses decree t on cle>+ ! table1 ! l>ge meat & vegetable di%es %\ld be tak5 fir/ & ! soil$ plates la/4 ,a rev]sal ( ?is proc$ure w\ld seem to be an improvem5t z ! untidy plates are ! lea/ sightly ?+s ab\t ! table4 ,if ! maid is skilful %e w notice :e!r any gue/ has by *ance already us$ ! spoons or o!r silv] requir$ = ! dess]t c\rse & supply ^? )\t a reque/ be+ made4 ,9 cle>+ ! table ! maid mu/ n /ack ! di%es4 ,%e %\ld take a plate 9 ea* h& & no m4 ,avoid us+ heavily sc5t$ fl[]s on a d9n] table4 ,m5u c>ds d n belong 9 private h\ses4 ,!y h ! some:at vulg> effect ( lay+ too mu* /ress on ! food4 ,! ideal d9n] is1 inde$1 a delightful repa/1 b x %\ld be fir/ ( all :at has be5 wittily describ$ z 8a fea/ ( reason & a regul> fre%et ( s\l40 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,fruit ,,c5t]piece ,a fruit c5t]piece is n (t5 se5 b x is h&some4 ,a l>ge silv] plate or basket heap$ ) p9k & :ite w9t] grapes or ev5 ) rosy apples & 8glove0 oranges is mo/ effective4 ,if c&les are us$ ^! %\ld be kept on ice until ne> ! d9n] h\r1 !n light$ & ! wicks cut1 to prev5t smok+ & dripp+4 ,_m p]sons :o l to put %ades on _! c&les h difficulty 9 prev5t+ !m f cat*+ fire4 ,x is wor? kn[+ t ?is is m likely to occur :5 ! hold]s are fitt$ to ! top ( ! c&le ?an :]e !y clasp x bel[ ! heat$ "p4 ,:5 a dess]t di% is plac$ on a l>g] plate1 or a f+]-b[l is set be=e ! gue/1 a small lace pap] mat may be laid betwe5 plate & di%4 ,if ! d9+-room floor is ( h>d wood rubb] tips may be b\ght at any dep>tm5t /ore & put on ! *air-legs to prev5t ! noise ( scrap+4 ,! table %\ld be c>efully set s t ! c5t]piece is exactly 9 ! c5t] & ! gue/s' places precisely opposite ea* o!r4 ,z a rule ! *9a us$ ?r\gh\t a d9n] exactly mat*es1 b if a ho/ess pref]s %e may use diff]5t sets = diff]5t c\rses4 ,9 s]v+ s\p be c>eful n to give too mu*4 ,a half ladleful is an 8elegant suffici5cy40 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,temp]ature ,,( ,,w9es ,if a d9n] is v =mal & sev]al w9es are to be s]v$1 x is correct to use :ite w9e ) ! fi%1 %]ry ) ! s\p1 cl>et ) ! roa/ & *ampagne or ,burgundy ) ! game4 ,! :ite w9e1 %]ry & *ampagne %\ld be kept cold2 *ampagne1 inde$1 %\ld be v cold & is s]v$ f a bottle wrapp$ 9 a napk94 ,cl>et & ,burgundy are mo/ agreeable at a temp]ature ( ab\t sev5ty4 ,all ^! w9es are s]v$ f ! bottle except cl>et & %]ry1 :i* are usually decant$1 t is to say1 !y are p\r$ f ! orig9al bottle into a cut-glass bottle or decant] int5d$ especially = table use4 99 99 99 99 99 ,mu* ( ! success ( a d9n] dep5ds ^u ! s]v+4 ,a well-tra9$ maid or man is indisp5sable1 & x is n to be d5i$ t ! tra9+1 = ?is purpose1 ( ! av]age s]vant to be f\nd 9 ! ,we/ is difficult4 ,b ) pati5ce x c be done4 ,if "o is 9 ! habit1 z "o %\ld be1 ( insi/+ t ! home d9n] be s]v$ ) prop] =mality1 ! extra duties involv$ 9 ! s]vice ( a l>g] numb] ( p & ( a great] range ( di%es ne$ n be view$ ) t]ror4 ,if !re are t5 or twelve gue/s ! s]vices ( two maids or m5 become necess>y1 le/ ! portions on ! plates become cold be=e ! sauces & vegetables t are to accompany !m c be pass$4 ,= elaborate d9n]s ! rule is "o wait] to e ?ree gue/s4 ,9 punctili\s h\seholds ! unwritt5 law t a gue/ %\ld nev] be )\t a plate be=e him is obs]v$1 & ?is is kn[n z ! s]vice or place plate4 ,at an in=mal meal ?is plate may be disp5s$ )4 ,a maid %\ld be taught to move quietly1 to keep h] eyes & ?\ghts on :at %e is do+1 & 9 an em]g5cy to g directly to h] mi/ress = a quiet ^w ( in/ruction4 ,x is p>ticul>ly important t ! dome/ic 9 ! kit*5 %\ld also be z quiet z possible 9 h] movem5ts4 ,no?+ is m annoy+ dur+ a d9n] conv]sation ?an a cra% ( crock]y 9 ! cul9>y regions4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,h\r ,,= ,,d9n] ,z a rule d9n] is s]v$ 9 mo/ ,am]ican cities at sev5 o'clock4 ,9 ,new ,york1 h[ev]1 :]e long di/ance makes x difficult = m5 to rea* home1 dress = ! ev5+ & arrive at any /at$ place1 eight o'clock is frequ5tly ! h\r4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,say+ ,,grace ,9 n a few h\ses ! f9e old fa%ion ( say+ grace is /ill obs]v$ & ! gue/ %\ld c>efully wat* 8 ho/ess = a cue z to h[ to conduct himself4 ,a "y woman :o happ5$ to be visit+ 9 "o ( ! old] ,new ,engl& families *anc$ to take h] fir/ meal at ! d9n] h\r4 ,aft] a mom5t's pause %e 0 ask$ by h] ho/ess to />t ! meal1 & ) be/ int5tions %e did s by pass+ a bread plate ne> h]4 ,to h] dismay %e aft]w>d le>n$ t %e _h be5 expect$ to say grace4 ,( c\rse1 su* an incid5t c\ld occur only at an in=mal d9n]1 b x s]ves to br+ up ! po9t t _m a ho/ess emb>rasses a gue/ by directly ask+ him to p]=m ?is s]vice :i* a natural timidity or 8 be+ unaccu/om$ to x may make an ordeal = him4 ,if a cl]gyman is pres5t1 respect to 8 position1 :atev] "o's own religi\s convictions or want ( !m1 dem&s t he be ask$ to say grace4 99 99 99 99 99 ,at in=mal d9n]s ! roa/ may be c>v$ at ! table if ! ho/ess pref]s ?is plan & if ! ho/ c be p]suad$ to d ! c>v+ & is able to d x skilfully & quietly4 ,?is plan1 :i* is ,engli% 9 its orig91 seems m hospitable 9 a way ?an ! m =mal cu/om ( s]v+ ev]y?+ f side-tables1 a la ,russe4 ,und\bt$ly !re is a flavor ( ! hotel & re/aurant ab\t ! ,russian /yle t is less agreeable1 ?\gh simpl] & m exp$iti\s4 ,x may be rem>k$1 h[ev]1 t :ile x is ( fir/ importance t a d9n] s]vice %\ld move promptly & t x %\ld n at ! outside take up m ?an two h\rs1 any?+ t actually sugge/s ha/e is contr>y to ! _s ( ! occasion4 ,:5 ! meats are c>v$ at ! table ! vegetables %\ld be pass$ by ! maid1 z ! gue/s may h a *oice4 ,= ! p]son at ! head ( ! table to s]ve bo? meat & vegetables is p]missible only at a family d9n]4 ,9 "s h\seholds ! ho/ or ho/ess makes a specialty ( salad dress+1 & ?is c\rse1 also1 is s]v$ at ! table4 ,z ! salad b[l may be s arrang$ z to pres5t a beautiful1 z well z a delici\s sight1 ! cu/om has m ?an "o reason to recomm5d x4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,:o ,,is ,,s]v$ ,,fir/ ,z to :o is s]v$ fir/ !re has be5 consid]able discussion4 ,! plan has rec5tly come into favor 9 "s h\ses to h& ! fir/ plate 9 ea* in/ance to ! ho/ess 9 ! ?\ght t if !re is any?+ wrong ) ! di% %e may detect x be=e ! gue/s are s]v$4 ,! usual plan1 h[ev]1 is to s]ve fir/ ! lady sitt+ at ! ho/'s "r h&1 !n all ! o!r ladies1 & la/ly ! m54 ,or1 if two maids are s]v+1 "o may take "o side ( ! table & "o ! o!r4 ,! maid %\ld h& ! di%es on ! left side ( ! gue/4 ,a clev] maid c wait on eight p1 provid$ ! d9n] is n too elaborate4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,dress ,,( ,,butl] ,,& ,,maid ,! dress ( a maid wait+ at d9n] %\ld be 9 w9t] ( a pla9 black /uff1 9 summ] ( pla9 :ite4 ,ov] ?is is worn a :ite bib apron ) b&s go+ ov] ! %\ld]s4 ,! skirt ( ! apron %\ld be l>ge s t ! front ( ! dress is protect$4 ,a pla9 :ite coll> & :ite cuffs & a :ite cap )\t /r+s or cr[n complete ?is co/ume4 ,no ornam5ts ( any sort are p]missible4 ,a butl] %\ld we> ! ord9>y dress suit ) a :ite tie4 ,x is a matt] ( wond] to ! ?\ghtful :y society has n yet f\nd a way to clo! h] butl]s & wait]s 9 "s mann] t %all prev5t /rang]s f tak+ !m = gue/s1 b z yet no su* way seems to h be5 f\nd4 ,9 default ( a butl] _m families keep :at is kn[n z a h\se-man1 :o p]=ms ! duties ( bo? butl] & footman2 t is to say1 he op5s ! door & also assi/s at table4 ,su* a s]vant has a :ite l95 jacket & d>k tr\s]s1 ?\gh "s wom5 :o h negro h\se-m5 & a ta/e = ! picturesque pref] t !y %all we> d>k color$ coats ) brass buttons & a sc>let or o!r bright color$ wai/coat4 ,:ile "o sees 9 c]ta9 nice h\ses :ite gloves on ! h&s ( a h\se-man :5 he is wait+ at table1 ! be/ ta/e is aga9/ _! use1 z !y und5iably sugge/ t !y are worn to hide dirty h&s4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,:at ,,to ,,we> ,,at ,,d9n] ,at =mal d9n]s a woman is expect$ to we> a dress cut mod]ately l[ 9 ! neck1 :ile = m5 :at is kn[n z ev5+ dress is imp]ative4 ,sometimes an invitation conta9s ! ^w 8in=mal10 b unless "o has explicit direction to ! contr>y1 no dep>ture %\ld be made f ! usual me?od ( dress+4 ,:5 a d9n] is ha/ily arrang$ = an out-(-t[n gue/1 :o is p]haps pass+ ?r\gh ! city = ! day only1 or = "s di/+ui%$ man or woman on a t\r ( lectures1 ! ho/ess may p>ticul>ly reque/ ! gue/s n to we> ev5+ clo!s out ( consid]ation = ! gue/ ( honor :o1 n expect+ any social c\rtesies1 is n prep>$ s to dress himself4 ,9 su* cases ! m5 w we> _! day clo!s1 ?\gh a woman is always privileg$ to make h] ev5+ toilet some:at m da9ty & elaborate ?an h] daytime "o4 ,n to appe> 9 "o's be/ :5 ! occasion is suit$ to happy raim5t is to d bo? "o's self & ! occasion an inju/ice4 ,mo/ p are at _! be/ :5 !y h ! consci\sness ( be+ attractively attir$1 & "o may be sure t ! ho/ess always appreciates any ef=t made by h] gue/s t[>d increas+ ! *>m ( ! social picture :i* %e has compos$4 ,a d>k or d[dy dress is an ugly note 9 su* a gr\p & reveals 9 ! woman :o causes x an insuffici5t s5se ( ! complim5t t has be5 ext5d$ to h]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,d9n] ,,coat ,! d9n] coat1 or ,tux$o1 0 design$ to be worn only on ! mo/ in=mal occasions1 ?\gh !re is a t5d5cy to wid5 its field ( usefulness4 ,! !ory is t x %\ld nev] be worn :]e !re are ladies1 b ! mod]n practise has brok5 ! !ory d[n s t at small d9n]s1 ! !at]1 club affairs1 etc41 ! d9n] coat is worn by m5 :o give ! subject ( dress intellig5t consid]ation4 ,) ! d9n] coat a black silk /r+ tie %\ld be worn2 ?is ! we>] %\ld tie 9 a b[1 tightly drawn at ! c5t]4 ,gray ties h be5 urg$ by ! fa%ion mak]s1 b !y are n s good z ! black4 ,! :ite lawn tie %\ld nev] be worn ) ! d9n] coat4 ,gold /uds & gold l9k cuff buttons1 or ! new] d>k enamel %\ld be us$1 9 %irts ( plaits or tucks ( v>i\s wid?s4 ,^! s(t] /yles ( %irts are n[ 9 high favor & are a s5sible & prop] innovation4 ,extremes ( /yles %\ld be avoid$1 & _m m5 ( cons]vative ta/es /ill we> ! /iff pla9 l95 or piqu bosoms4 ,a black wai/coat ( ! same mat]ial z ! coat is pref]able to ! fanci] =ms4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,l[-,,cut ,,g[n ,x is gratify+ to note t 9 ! be/ h\ses nei!r ! ho/ess nor any woman gue/ is se5 to appe> ) a dress improp]ly l[4 ,a woman1 n long us$ to ! bett] social circle into :i* %e m>ri$1 0 once invit$ to meet an actress at a private d9n] p>ty4 ,to ! amazem5t & di/ress ( h] ho/ess %e appe>$ 9 a g[n t evid5tly c>ri$ out h] idea ( :at is 8,bohemian40 ,%e _h q cle>ly be5 det]m9$ n to be outdone by ! actress4 ,to h] *agr9 %e f\nd ?is woman 9 a g[n mu* high] ?an h] own & :olly mode/ 9 e p>ticul>4 ,to gov]n "o's dress or conduct 9 society by any notion ( outdo+ "s "o else is an indication ( ! p>v5u & likely to meet ) dire results4 99 99 99 99 99 ,^? :o ent]ta9 (t5 soon le>n to discrim9ate betwe5 ! gue/ ^: pres5ce helps to make a d9n] a success & "o :o is an undige/$ lump 9 ! social leav54 ,! desirable gue/ is n necess>ily a wit or a beauty b %e comes ) a glad m9d & he>t1 array$ 9 h] prettie/ & ) ! s9c]e int5tion ( try+ to give pleasure4 ,%e realizes ! complim5t ( h] invitation & t x c n be ackn[l$g$ m]ely by ext5d+ a simil> "o4 ,%e mu/1 z "s "o rec5tly put x1 8pay h] scat0 be=e %e leaves ! h\se4 ,if h] de>e/ enemy is pres5t no?+ 9 h] mann] w betray t fact to ! ho/ess4 ,! meal %\ld be ann\nc$ by ! s]vant 9 *>ge op5+ ! door or doors lead+ into ! d9+-room & say+1 8,d9n] is s]v$40 ,x saves confusion ev5 at a small d9n] to m>k ! places at table by c>ds inscrib$ ) ! appropriate "n1 b ?is is n obligatory4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,d9n] ,,procession ,! ho/1 ) ! lady :o is to sit at 8 "r1 is ! fir/ to leave ! draw+-room4 ,! ord] ( ! o!r c\ples does n matt]1 except t ! ho/ess1 ) ! man :o is to sit at h] "r1 leaves la/4 ,! places ( honor are ^? at ! "r ( ! ho/ & ! ho/ess4 ,if ! ,presid5t 7 a gue/1 ! ho/ess w\ld lead ! way to ! d9+-room ) him1 ! ,presid5t's wife com+ imm$iately aft] ) ! ho/4 ,if two ladies are ent]ta9+1 "o mu/ play ! "p ( ho/4 ,at v l>ge & =mal d9n]s trays on :i* are small envelopes are plac$ 9 ! m5's dress+-room1 ea* envelope be>+ ! "n ( ! woman ! gue/ to :om x is address$ is to take 91 & indicat+ by ! lett] ,l4 or ,r4 9 ! corn] ( ! c>d on :i* side ! two w sit4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,arriv+ ,,at ,a ,,d9n] ,a d9n] p>ty dem&s t ! gue/ be n m ?an t5 m9utes e>ly1 & ord9>ily n a half-m9ute beh9d ! "t m5tion$ 9 ! invitation4 ,9 l>ge cities1 h[ev]1 on acc\nt ( ! great di/ances1 t5 or fifte5 m9utes' grace is all[$4 ,aft] t int]val has pass$1 ! ho/ess--or h] butl] if %e h "o--%\ld see t ! cov] laid = ?is p]son is remov$1 & ! usual ann\ncem5t made t 8,d9n] is s]v$40 ,! s]vant at ! door directs ! wom5 to _! dress+-room1 ! m5 to !irs4 ,9 ! dress+-room ! wom5 leave _! wraps1 b d n remove _! gloves4 ,ea* woman1 accompani$ by h] escort1 desc5ds to ! draw+-room1 greets ! ho/s1 & ! man :o is to take h] out to d9n] is !n introduc$ to h]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,:]e !re are _m c\rses a gue/ may1 if he wi%1 sometimes decl9e "o or m ( ^!4 ,he may also %[ by a ge/ure t he w n take w9e1 or1 if 8 glasses are fill$1 he may simply lift !m to 8 lips1 ta/e ! cont5ts1 !n dr9k no m4 ,z a glass w be fill$ z soon z empti$1 ! gue/ may say 9 a l[ voice1 8,no m1 please60 :5 he has _h en\gh4 ,none ( ^! refusals %\ld be s m>k$ z to attract ! att5tion ( 8 ent]ta9]s4 ,a w9e-glass %\ld nev] be turn$ d[n4 ,aft] ! ladies h remov$ _! gloves & ! d9n]-roll or slice ( bread has be5 tak5 f ! fold$ napk9 & ! napk9 laid 9 ! lap1 ! d9n] conducts itself4 ,! *apt] head$ 8,at ,table0 w answ] any d\btful que/ions z to ! mann] ( eat+ at home or abroad4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,:5 ,,d9n] ,,is ,,ov] ,aft] ! d9n] is end$1 ! ho/ess gives a slight signal1 or makes ! move to rise4 ,! g5tlem5 /& :ile ! ladies pass out ( ! room1 !n sit d[n aga9 = _! cig>s1 c(fee & liquors4 ,! *airs1 on ris+ f a d9n]-table1 %\ld n be pu%$ back 9 place4 ,c(fee & cordials are s]v$ to ! ladies 9 ! draw+-room1 :]e !y are soon jo9$ by ! g5tlem54 ,:5 ! "t = dep>ture approa*es x is ! place ( ! woman :o goes fir/ to rise1 motion to h] husb&1 & !n z soon z %e & he h said good night to ! ho/ & ho/ess1 !y b[ to ! o!r gue/s1 & retire to ! dress+-rooms4 ,aft] ?is !y g directly f ! h\se1 n ent]+ ! draw+-room aga94 ,if !re are gue/s ( honor !y %\ld be ! fir/ to g4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,say+ ,,good ,,night ,9 say+ good night x is p]fectly prop]1 extremi/s to ! contr>y not)/&+1 to ?ank ! ent]ta9]s = a pleasant ev5+4 ,su* ?anks ne$ n be pr(use1 b may be simply--8,good night1 & _m ?anks = a delightful ev5+60 or 8,x is h>d to leave1 we h _h su* a pleasant "t60 ,"o ne$ nev] be afraid to let "o's ho/s "k t ! "t sp5t 9 _! pres5ce has pass$ delightfully4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,successful ,,d9n] ,giv5 well-prep>$ food1 :e!r simple or elaborate1 prop] s]vice1 a room n too w>m & a curr5t ( fre% air t does n bl[ on any "o1 gue/s sympa!tically *os51 ! d9n] c n fail to be a success4 ,a "y m>ri$ belle ( a we/]n city :o 0 visit+ 9 a sm>t ,new ,york set 0 ask$ at h] fir/ d9n] :at p 9 ! ,we/ did = aft]-d9n] ent]ta9m5t4 8,!y talk10 %e said4 ,! p pres5t look$ at h] z if !y ?\ght t a dull way ( sp5d+ ! "t1 & to a qu]y ( h]s reg>d+ _! me?ods ( ent]ta9m5t1 repli$ t !y usually 8_h 90 a pr(essional or pr(essionals ( "s sort = ! amusem5t ( ! gue/s aft] ! eat+ & dr9k+ 7 ov]4 ,to h] ta/e ?is indicat$ an un5viable m5tal pov]ty1 z x w to mo/ s5sible p4 ,! be/ flavor ( a successful d9n] p>ty lies n 9 ! food1 h[ev] grateful t may be to ! palate1 b 9 ! talk4 ,a d9n] is ! ent]ta9m5t at :i* sprightly natural talk c\nts = ! mo/2 & ?is is probably ! reason t ! _w ov] ! d9n] is consid]$ ! mo/ elegant & di/+ui%$ =m ( ent]ta9m5t4 ,,*apt] ,x ,,! ,,education ,,( ,a ,,"y ,,girl ,,is ,,x a good ?+ to s5d a "y girl away to s*ool1 &1 if s1 %all "o s5d h] to bo>d+-s*ool or college8 are ! que/ions t agitate _m a h\sehold :]e ! daught] or daught]s are old en\gh to make ^! que/ions p]t95t4 ,ov]-consci5ti\s & fe>ful mo!rs sometimes decide t ! risk is too great 9 s5d+ girls away f home4 ,!y fe>1 ) ! loos5+ ( home ties1 a less5+ ( a s5se ( responsibility1 :ile at ! same "t !y d\bt a girl's p[] to get on )\t mat]nal sup]vision4 ,! judgm5t & exp]i5ce ( ! _w is aga9/ ?is po9t ( view4 8,homekeep+ y\?s h ev] homekeep+ wits10 is no m true ( boys ?an ( girls4 ,go+ away to s*ool %\ld be "o ( ! ri*ly vitaliz+ influ5ces ( life4 ,to a c]ta9 ext5t a girl is ?r[n on h] own res\rces :5 away z %e w\ld n be at home1 yet ! conditions 9 any s*ool wor?y ( ! "n are su* t %e is gu>d$ & protect$4 ,at home1 h] fri5d%ips & acqua9tances h be5 made l>gely ?r\gh ! connection ( h] family ) ! community 9 :i* %e lives4 ,away1 %e mu/ make h] own fri5ds4 ,at home1 x is probable t "m1 old] si/] or a k9dly aunt h done h] d>n+ & o!r m5d+4 ,away1 %e mu/ d ^! ?+s = h]self or !y rema9 undone4 ,9 _m ways ! opportunity is giv5 h] by a ye> or two away at s*ool to prove h]self1 yet to d s )\t dang]1 z ! amateur swordsman f5ces ) a button on 8 foil4 ,outside ( ^! consid]ations "o ( ! mo/ important is ! developm5t t comes ?r\gh delight 9 *ange4 ,novel conditions h *>m = all ages1 & 9 y\?1 mu* m ?an 9 age1 !y are a spur to endeavor4 ,happ9ess ( a heal?ful k9d /imulates ! m9d1 & x is commonly true t ! ye>s sp5t away at s*ool are pleasant ones4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,:at ,,s*ool ,,to ,,*oose ,! advocates ( ! diff]5t sorts ( tra9+ repres5t$ by bo>d+-s*ool & college life are (t5 ho/ile to ea* o!r4 ,!re is mu* to be said 9 favor ( bo? educational me?ods1 & ! decision conc]n+ :i* %all be adopt$ = a "y girl %\ld dep5d l>gely ^u h] own temp]am5t1 ta/es & incl9ations4 ,! advocates ( college life are too apt to assume t ! texture ( bo>d+-s*ool le>n+ is flimsy1 :i* x sometimes is4 ,! fri5ds ( bo>d+-s*ool life assume t a college tra9+ means an abs5ce ( reg>d = ! fem99e graces2 & x is true t "s ( its repres5tatives are n social successes4 ,b su* comm5t goes a %ort way 9 help+ "o to a decision z to :e!r bo>d+-s*ool or college %all be ! de/9ation ( "o's daught]4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,bo>d+-,,s*ool ,! "* ( ! girls' colleges 9 our c\ntry is mu* m g5]ally kn[n ?an t ( bo>d+-s*ools4 ,! colleges are few 9 numb]1 & to _! proce$+s is giv5 a degree ( publicity n accord$ ! proce$+s ( small] educational ent]prises4 ,!re are bo>d+-s*ools & bo>d+-s*ools4 ,inve/igation c n be too c>eful be=e plac+ a girl 9 "o ( !m4 ,! be/ (f] advantages ( an admirable k9d4 ,! c\rses ( /udy1 :ile n s div]se z ^? ( college1 are p>ticul>ly adapt$ to fem99e ta/es1 :ile ! accompli%m5ts :i* t5d to make social life m int]e/+ & agreeable are giv5 a l>ge %>e ( att5tion4 ,hi/ory1 lit]ature1 ! mod]n languages1 music & draw+ h p]haps ! =emo/ places 9 ! curriculum4 ,_m ( ^! s*ools are 9 cities :]e opportunities are giv51 "u prop] *ap]onage1 = girls to see ! be/ !atrical p]=mances & to he> conc]ts ( value4 ,9 ^! s*ools girls come into m intimate relations ) _! tea*]s ?an is possible 9 a college1 & !y are also mu* m /rictly *ap]on$4 ,matt]s ( =m & deportm5t1 details ( mann]1 s f> z !y c be taught1 are giv5 ?\ght & att5tion (t5 ) happy results4 ,"o may say t a girl %\ld le>n ^! ?+s at home1 b sometimes h] surr\nd+s !re are n favorable & aga9 %e ne$s ! impetus ( j su* criticism z %e receives at a good bo>d+-s*ool to make h] aw>e ( ! value ( =m4 ,! aim ( a good bo>d+-s*ool is to make ( a girl an attractive memb] ( society z well z to make h] m5tally appreciative4 ,! /amp ( c]ta9 admirable bo>d+-s*ools ^u ! mann]s ( ! wom5 :o h att5d$ !m is unmi/akable4 ,i once he>d a man say t he c\ld always 8spot0 a pupil ( ,miss ,port]'s fam\s ,f>m+ton ,s*ool )9 half an h\r aft] introduction1 by c]ta9 delicate =malities 9 h] mann]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,woman',s ,,college ,a woman's college (f]s a mu* wid] sph]e = a girl's en]gies & abilities ?an does bo>d+-s*ool4 ,if %e loves /udy1 is fond ( a?letics & is int]e/$ widely 9 human nature1 college is ! place = h]4 ,"h %e has a *ance = ! developm5t ( h] be/ m5tal p[]s4 ,deportm5t is n "o ( ! unwritt5 bran*es ( ! curriculum z x is 9 ! girls' bo>d+-s*ool4 ,nev]!less x is taught by ! social preem95ce ( ^? :o br+ ! be/ bre$+ ) !m4 ,?\gh ! surveillance is n :at x is 9 bo>d+-s*ools1 x is n s necess>y1 because ! girls are some:at old] ?an ^? 9 bo>d+-s*ools & because ! s5tim5t ( ! /ud5ts g5]ally is = law & ord]4 ,sid5ote3 ,,well-,,kn[n ,,colleges ,! be/-kn[n girls' colleges 9 ! ,unit$ ,/ates are situat$ 9 ! c\ntry1 & ! opportunity ?us giv5 = sport & = a heal?y appreciation ( nature is an invaluable asset = ^? in/itutions4 ,at no "t 9 life is ! love ( beauty at once s delicate & s ke5 z 9 ^? ye>s :5 "o is eligible to college life4 ,to fo/] ?is p]haps lat5t appreciation by a direct contact ) ! beauties ( nature is "o ( ! opportunities (f]$ by ,bryn ,mawr1 ,vass>1 ,wellesley1 ,smi? & o!r well-kn[n wom5's colleges4 ,! ?ree or f\r ye>s 9 college among a hundr$ or m o!r girls (t5 =m "o ( ! happie/ & mo/ fruitful p]iods ( a girl's life4 ,%e makes int]e/+ & valuable fri5d%ips4 ,(t5 h] k ( ! _w is broad5$ by visits paid to h] s*oolmates 9 vacation "t4 ,! advantages %e d]ives f prop]ly direct$ /udy are great2 ! advantages 9 o!r directions are possibly ev5 great]4 ,a wom5's college is a little _w 9 :i* e v>iety ( fem99ity may be obs]v$4 ,! life !re gives opportunity = ! developm5t ( ! mo/ div]se tal5ts4 ,any sort ( capability ev5tually f9ds scope = action 9 college life4 ,! s]i\s side & ! recreative side ( life f9d expression !re4 ,a girl :o l5ds h]self freely to ! opportunities ( a college %\ld quit its doors prep>$ = social & dome/ic life & able also to take c>e ( h]self f9ancially if exig5cies require4 99 99 99 99 99 ,! comp>ative co/ ( college & bo>d+-s*ool is (t5 an important po9t 9 ! matt] ( decid+ a girl's educational de/9ation4 ,! be/ bo>d+-s*ools are m exp5sive ?an ! colleges z f> z =mal exp5diture is conc]n$4 ,a girl's p]sonal exp5ses1 ?\gh !y are regulat$ 9 "s bo>d+-s*ools1 are 9 college & at mo/ bo>d+-s*ools :at %e & ! family c\ncil *oose to make !m4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,travel ,,z ,,education ,if college & bo>d+-s*ool ex]cise a b5eficial influ5ce ^u ! developm5t ( a girl's m9d & mann]s1 travel is a happy ?ird 9 ! li/4 ,un=tunately travel is an exp5sive luxury4 ,if1 h[ev]1 ! f9ancial circum/ances ( a girl's p>5ts are su* t %e may travel = six mon?s or a ye> aft] h] s*ool+ is ov]1 ?is puts ! f9i%+ t\* ^u h] educational opportunities4 ,travel is ! easie/1 ! quicke/ & ! mo/ delightful mann] ( ga9+ k 9 ! _w1 :ile1 at ! same "t1 x is :at /udy is n always1 an enc\ragem5t to social facility4 ,! "y girl mu/ be educat$ at home z well z away f home4 ,! f\ndation = su* accompli%m5ts z %e has a pref]5ce = mu/ be laid !re & %e mu/ prep>e !re1 9 h[ev] slight a way1 = ! responsibilities t may re/ ^u h] %\ld]s :5 %e has a h\se ( h] own4 ,= h] own tra9+1 z well z ! relief ( h] "m1 e girl %\ld assume "s h\sehold duty or duties4 ,b ^!1 unless necessity comm&s1 %\ld n be sev]e1 & occasional laxity 9 p]=mance %\ld n be dealt ) h>%ly4 ,"y girlhood is a gr[+ "t & a dream+ "t2 & a too /]n insi/5ce ^u h\sehold duties sometimes blights important capabilities ( m9d & body4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,acquir+ ,,accompli%m5ts ,x 0 an old-fa%ion$ idea t e girl %\ld be equipp$ ) an accompli%m5t1 %\ld cultivate "s def9ite ability to please4 ,! idea 0 mu* abus$1 & result$ 9 ! torture ( _m innoc5t p]sons :o 7 compell$ to look at crude sket*es1 to admire grotesque embroid]ies & to li/5 to m$iocre p]=mances on ! piano4 ,b !re 0 at ! bottom ( ! idea some?+ s\nd & :olesome4 ,x is vitally important t wom5 %\ld please1 %\ld help to make ! :eels ( life g easily4 ,t 0 n an ignoble epitaph discov]$ on an old tomb/one 9 an ,engli% *ur*y>d1 8,%e 0 s pleasant40 ,p]haps 9 ! matt] ( education we are n[ sw++ too f> away f ! old-fa%ion$ ideal & are too mu* incl9$ to reg>d z trifl+ a "y girl's special ef=ts to please4 ,d we n some:at puritanically reg>d ! /udies "o does n l z necess>ily m efficaci\s ?an ^? pursu$ ) joy8 ,draw+1 music1 ! mod]n languages1 ! art ( recit+ or conv]sation--we speak ( ^! usually n only z second>y 9 importance to ! /udy ( ,greek1 ,lat9 & ma!matics1 b z involv+ little 9 ! way ( labor1 :ile ! tru? is t ! pursuit ( ^! subjects n only involves endless labor b a labor t 9 ! end unveils p]sonality & individuality1 & makes = orig9al int]pretation ( life to a degree f> exce$+ results f ! s-call$ sev]] bran*es4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,dilettante ,! !ory is g5]ally dissem9at$ t ^? /udies :i* give mo/ pleasure to "o's self & to o!rs :5 actually trans=m$ into accompli%m5ts are easy ( atta9m5t & dem& only ! c>eless & dilettante t\*4 ,! eld]s z well z ! y\? are mu* impregnat$ ) ?is idea4 ,let a girl und]/& :5 %e beg9s to /udy draw+1 ! viol91 ! pian(orte or ! art ( s++ t no success is possible )\t h>d "w1 t ! privilege ( lessons w be )drawn if %e does n put ef=t & det]m9ation into h] "w1 & results ( a correspond+ly good "* may be =?com+4 ,sid5ote3 ,,?or\ghness ,,necess>y ,= ! happ9ess ( !mselves & _! fri5ds1 x is well t "y girls %\ld pursue any accompli%m5t t[>d :i* !y may h a lean+4 ,c]ta9ly su* a pursuit1 if ent]$ into ) delicacy & vivacity1 mu/ increase ! sweetness ( life by add+ to "o's s5se ( beauty2 & x is nev] trite to say t a ?+ ( beauty is a joy =ev]4 ,pursuit ( an accompli%m5t does n always mean possession1 b :]e x does1 ev5 measurably1 x means also ! p[] ( imp>t+ pleasure to "o's fri5ds1 & pleasure t is t\*$ ^u & m+l$ ) "o's own individuality4 ,9 a day :5 weal? c\nts = s mu* 9 relation to ! be/[al ( pleasure1 "o c sc>cely ov]e/imate = ^? :o d n h weal? ! value ( ! p]sonal t\* 9 ! ent]ta9m5t ( "o's fri5ds4 ,,*apt] ,,xi ,,! ,d,,butante ,a ,,clev] "y girl1 :5 ask$ by an acqua9tance if %e _h 8come out0 yet1 answ]$1 8,i didn't come out4 ,i j leak$ out40 ,d\btless ?is /ates ! case1 9 a some:at slangy mann]1 = a l>ge numb] ( "y wom5 :o1 gradually & )\t any set function to s]ve z introduction1 take _! places 9 society4 ,ev5 = !m1 h[ev]1 ! ye> foll[+ ! close ( s*ool duties m>ks a *ange 9 _! relation to ! social _w1 :ile ! di/9ction is mu* emphasiz$ 9 ! case ( "y girls to :om ! affairs ( balls1 receptions1 teas & calls are a novelty4 ,! date ( a girl's =mal entrance into ! l>g] _w m>ks h] individual recognition 9 t _w4 ,be=e ?is "t %e has be5 a p]son )\t social responsibility1 n acc\ntable 9 ! social s5se4 ,%e has be5 consid]$ 9 relation to h] family1 p]haps4 ,n[ %e /&s = h]self4 ,%e is an object ( "s curiosity to ! public1 & ! pleasures & duties to :i* %e falls heir des]ve "s special m5tion4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,age ,,( ,a ,d,,butante ,! age at :i* a girl makes h] =mal appe>ance on ! sc5e ( society v>ies 9 diff]5t places & ) v>y+ conditions4 ,x is r>ely "u eighte51 seldom ov] tw5ty-two1 ! fir/ be+ ! age at :i* a girl n desir\s ( ext5d$ education escapes1 usually1 f ! s*oolroom1 ! second be+ ! av]age age ( graduation = ! college girl4 ,a girl y\ng] ?an eighte5 is commonly too immature to be consid]$ an int]e/+ memb] ( society1 & a c]ta9 degree ( absurdity atta*es to ! idea ( introduc+ to ! _w a girl old] ?an ! age la/ m5tion$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,! special function by :i* a "y woman's family signalizes h] entrance to society v>ies little 9 diff]5t places4 ,9 _m cities ! cu/om is = ! family ( ! dbutante & also = ! fri5ds ( ! family to give "s ent]ta9m5t 9 h] honor4 ,a d9n]1 a lun*eon1 a tea1 a ball--any "o ( ^! fe/ivities is a prop] mann] ( ann\nc+ "o's int]e/ 9 ! new memb] ( society & ( emphasiz+ h] arrival4 ,ev]y?+ %\ld be done to facilitate = h] an ext5sion ( acqua9tance among ^? :om x is desirable %e %\ld "k4 ,x is said t a numb] ( ye>s ago :5 telephones 7 a luxury in/ead ( be+1 z n[1 a necessity1 9 s\!rn cities1 ! adv5t ( ! dbutante 9 a h\se meant always ! addition ( a "n to ! telephone directory4 ,?is is a some:at extravagant & florid comm5t on ! idea advanc$4 ,b x w s]ve z an illu/ration4 ,p>ticul>ly is x desirable t ! dbutante %\ld become acqua9t$ ) ! old] memb]s ( ! society 9 :i* %e moves4 ,%e is n[ n only a "p ( ! p>ticul> set to :i* h] age assigns h]2 %e is also a "p ( t l>g] society to :i* _m ages belong4 ,h] attitude on ?is "q di/+ui%es h] z well-br$ or ill-br$4 ,!re is no?+ m crass & crude ?an ! "y girl :o has no eyes or e>s = anybody out ( ! p>ticul> set ( "y p to :i* %e belongs4 ,x is ! m>k ( ! plebeian4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,d,,butante',s ,,w>drobe ,! clo!s ( ! dbutante are a matt] ( importance & h] w>drobe %\ld be c>efully plann$4 ,x is natural t %e %\ld wi% to look pretty &1 z y\? itself makes = beauty1 giv5 good heal? & ! usual numb] ( features prop]ly di/ribut$1 !re is no reason :y %e %\ld n s appe>1 if "s discretion be ex]cis$ 9 ! selection ( h] clo!s4 ,x does n lie )9 ! prov9ce ( ?is book to /ipulate 9 detail conc]n+ ! outfit necess>y = ?is happy result4 ,! purpose ( ?is p>agraph is to insi/ on simplicity ( /yle 9 ! g[ns *os5 = a girl's fir/ ye> 9 society4 ,elaborate /yles & heavy mat]ials are oppos$ to ! quality ( a "y girl's beauty4 ,!y kill ! lovel9ess :i* x is _! object to br+ out4 ,all h] clo!s %\ld be made )\t p]ceptible elaboration4 ,9 ball g[ns %e %\ld be c>eful to select light1 diaphan\s mat]ials1--mat]ials t %e c we> at no o!r "t ( life to su* advantage4 ,( p>ty g[ns %e %\ld h a numb]4 ,?ree or f\r frocks ( ?9 inexp5sive mat]ials are f> bett]1 if a *oice be necess>y1 ?an "o heavy silk or sat94 ,!y are m becom+ & ! numb] ( !m gu>antees to _! own] p]fect fre%ness & da9t9ess ( appe>ance4 ,a soil$1 b$raggl$ ball g[n is a sorry sight on anybody4 ,x looks p>ticul>ly ill on a "y p]son ^: age entitles h] to be comp>$ to lilies & roses4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,second ,,season ,if ! tru? be told1 despite ! gaiety & ! novelty ( a girl's fir/ ye> 9 society1 x is n usually s pleasant a ye> z h] second4 ,%e has mu* to le>n1 & x is ! exceptional girl :o does n feel a little awkw>d 9 h] new position4 ,%e is prone to exagg]ate ! importance ( small social blund]s1 & trifles1 light z air1 occupy a disproportionate place 9 h] horizon4 ,a c]ta9 timidity1 ! result ( h] unaccu/om$ position1 is *>act]i/ic ( h]4 ,?is timidity %[s itself ei!r 9 a /iffness t modifies consid]ably h] prop] *>m1 or 9 an unnatural bravado ( mann]1 ! rev]se ( pleas+4 8,:y are y s d[n on dbutantes80--! writ] ( ?is *apt] ask$ ( an accompli%$ "y society man4 8,because !y ?9k x's clev] to be rude10 0 ! answ]4 ,! desire to be v apt1 to be 8on ! spot0 & 8all !re10 z ! slang phrase has x1--?is is (t5 at ! bottom ( ! app>5t rud5ess ( ! "y girl4 ,%e does n c>e to %[ h] newness4 ,z a bride wi%es x to seem t %e has always be5 m>ri$1 s a dbutante likes to pres5t ! appe>ance ( ?or\gh famili>ity ) ! gr\nd ^u :i* %e has j arriv$4 ,sid5ote3 ,,los+ ,,self-,,consci\sness ,no?+ w assi/ ! dbutante to self-control & a sur] foot+ s mu* z contact ) p :o are some:at old] ?an h]self & :o h ga9$ a prop] p]spective4 ,f !m %e w le>n to be less self-consci\s1 & ?is means to be happi] & m int]e/+4 ,,*apt] ,,xii ,,m5 ,,& ,,wom5 ,,!re is "s diff]5ce ( op9ion z to :e!r prop]ly a man %\ld ask p]mission to call ^u a woman or ! woman %\ld conf] ! favor ( h] own volition4 ,sometimes ?is dep5ds on ! age ( ! woman "u consid]ation4 ,! invitation to call ( a mature woman ( society is ! be/[al ( a social favor 9 a s5se diff]5t f ! same reque/ com+ f a "y girl4 ,a "y girl mu/ be v sure inde$ t a man w\ld feel flatt]$ by h] invitation be=e %e asks him to call4 ,x is usually safe to assume t1 if he does wi% ! acqua9tance to g fur!r ?an *ance meet+s1 he w f9d a way to make x kn[n to h]1 ?us sav+ h] ! emb>rassm5t ( tak+ ! initiative4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,l5g? ,,( ,a ,,call ,! "t = mak+ calls ^u "y wom5 v>ies 9 diff]5t p>ts ( ! c\ntry4 ,9 ! l>g] cities ( ! ,ea/ ! conv5tional "t is betwe5 f\r & sev5 o'clock 9 ! aft]noon4 ,9 small] t[ns ( ! ,ea/ & 9 mo/ s\!rn & we/]n places1 ev5+ calls are ! mode4 ,:5 ! acqua9tance betwe5 ! "y man & ! "y woman 9 "q is slight1 a call ( half an h\r is consid]$ a prop] l5g?4 ,:5 ! acqua9tance has mell[$ into fri5d%ip1 ! l5g? ( ! call is n prescrib$4 ,a s5se ( propriety w sugge/ to bo? :5 x %\ld come to an end4 ,if a s]vant is 9 wait+ :5 ! call] arrives1 ?is dome/ic %\ld take c>e ( ! "y man's hat1 coat & /ick1 or %\ld designate :]e ! call] may place ^! ?+s4 ,if ! "y woman h]self %\ld *ance to op5 ! door1 %e mu/ designate :]e he is 8to re/ 8 wraps10 z ! negroes say4 ,%e mu/ n1 on any acc\nt1 assi/ him 9 ridd+ himself ( ^! articles1 nor1 lat]1 :5 he leaves1 aid him 9 gett+ !m toge!r4 ,nice b socially un9/ruct$ girls lay !mselves op5 to sev]e criticism ?r\gh exactly su* mi/ak5 actions4 99 99 99 99 99 ,if ! call is a fir/ call1 ! "y man %\ld be pres5t$ to ! girl's "m1 & if ! girl *ooses1 to o!r memb]s ( ! family4 ,9 succe$+ calls1 accord+ to conv5tional usage 9 ,am]ica1 x is m]ely a happ5-s :e!r memb]s ( ! "y woman's family are pres5t or n4 ,"o c prescribe no rule z to :at "y m5 & "y wom5 %\ld talk ab\t4 ,! subjects !y may discuss are z num]\s z ! s&s ( ! sea1 & dep5d ^u ta/e1 temp]am5t & education4 ,z to mann]1 x is well to insi/ a little1 9 ^! days ( brusk cam>ad]ie betwe5 ! sexes1 on ! fact t c\rtesy has _m *>m+ opportunities ( exhibition 9 ! conv]sation betwe5 m5 & wom54 ,!re is a k9d ( def]5ce t1 ) no lack ( frankness1 %\ld be cultivat$ 9 ! attitude ( "o sex to ! o!r1 a quality t makes = agreeable fri5d%ip to a r>e degree4 ,if "o selects ?is r ?an o!r agreeable qualities ( mann] z "o to be cultivat$ 9 ! relation ( ! sexes1 x is because x is "o s (t5 neglect$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,use ,,( ,,fir/ ,,names ,:5 a "y woman & "y man h gr[n up 9 ! same place & h kn[n ea* o!r f *ildhood1 x is prop] = !m to call ea* o!r by _! fir/ names1 b ) acqua9tances ( matur] ye>s1 ! occasions = ! adoption ( ?is cu/om %\ld be r>e4 ,no?+ is m vulg> = a "y woman ?an an easy & promiscu\s habit ( address+ ,tom1 ,dick & ,h>ry z su*4 ,a girl %\ld n accept an invitation f a "y man be=e he has call$ & has be5 pres5t$ to h] "m4 ,! invitation once accept$1 !re are little c\rtesies :i* he may pay to h] on ! occasion ( ! fe/ivity = :i* he has ask$ to accompany h]4 ,^! c\rtesies he %\ld n neglect to (f]1 & %e %\ld be graci\s 9 accept+4 ,he may assi/ h] 9 putt+ on h] wraps4 ,he may put on h] ov]%oes if ! wea!r is damp & a maid be lack+ = t purpose4 ,if an extra wrap is dem&$ he %\ld c>ry x = h]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,9 go+ up-/airs1 ! girl prec$es ! man1 b 9 desc5d+1 he goes fir/4 ,9 ! /reet a man :o is punctili\s walks on ! outside ( ! walk1 b ?is rule is less obs]v$ ?an x 0 =m]ly4 ,( c\rse1 a man all[s a girl to prec$e him ?r\gh any doorway4 ,9 leav+ a /reet-c>1 h[ev]1 he gets (f fir/ 9 ord] t he may help h] alight4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,a ,,"y ,,woman',s ,,escort ,x is ! duty ( a "y woman's escort to be look+ aft] h] pleasure & com=t 9 v>i\s ways4 ,if he takes h] to a dance1 he mu/ see1 if possible1 t h] c>d is fill$4 ,if x is n fill$1 he %\ld sit out ) h] ! unclaim$ dances4 ,ord9>ily1 a girl does n cross a ballroom unless accompani$ by h] escort or h] *ap]on4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,at ,,! ,,!at] ,if a man takes a girl to ! !at] he %\ld procure a program = h] & %\ld assi/ h] 9 ! removal ( h] wraps4 ,:5ev] accid5tally or by arrangem5t1 a man accompanies a woman he %\ld n p]mit h] to c>ry a package1 umbrella or wrap1 unless ! latt] be a light summ] wrap :i* %e may pref] to reta94 ,! v>i\s opportunities (f]$ m5 = small s]vices1 = little gallantries ( conduct1 c n be regi/]$ 9 detail4 ,!y are too _m4 ,x is suffici5t to say t "y wom5 %\ld enc\rage m5 9 su* amiable habits4 ,favors ( ! sort indicat$ are )\t co/ & yet beyond price4 ,if accept$ graci\sly !y react on mann]s to ! advantage ( bo? sexes4 ,!y help to make ( society ! pleas+ spectacle :i* we imag9e x to be 9 our dreams4 99 99 99 99 99 ,"y wom5 :o are gue/s at a box p>ty %\ld sit 9 ! front seats ) ! m5 beh9d !m4 ,! writ] 0 witness dur+ ! curr5t ye> ( a small-t[n box p>ty /raggl+ into a city !at]1 :]e ea* girl 0 awkw>dly rang$ alongside ( h] escort4 ,! clumsy unsophi/icat$ air ( ! p>ty1 ea* ,jack beside 8 ,jill1 ne$s no comm5t4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a "y girl %\ld n grant a reque/ = an int]*ange ( lett]s ) a "y man )\t consult+ h] "m4 ,a "y woman %\ld rememb] 9 writ+ to a "y man t writt5 words are n l spok5 ones & are f> m capable ( mis9t]pretation4 ,?\gh prud5ce is n a g5]\s quality1 x is "o to be obs]v$ 9 all lett]-writ+ b t aris+ out ( ! mo/ intimate relations4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,clev] ,,note ,! subject ( lett]-writ+ sugge/s ! m9iature accompli%m5t ( note-writ+4 ,! art ( brief sprightly expression on pap] is "o t is wor? /riv+ =4 ,x is capable ( yield+ pleasure 9 _m ( ! relations ( life1 9 none m conspicu\sly ?an 9 ! relation betwe5 "y m5 & "y wom54 ,a milit>y man ( "s di/9ction 0 int]view+ ! lady pr9cipal ( a girls' s*ool ) ref]5ce to plac+ 8 daught] !re4 8,:at w\ld y l to h h] taught80 said ! pr9cipal4 8,"s hi/ory20 he said m$itatively1 8an appreciation ( good lit]ature1 & ! art ( writ+ z agreeable a note z h] "m did be=e h]40 99 99 99 99 99 ,a "y woman %\ld hesitate to isolate h]self f g5]al society by accept+ too great an am\nt ( att5tion f any "o man unless %e int5ds to m>ry him4 ,z long z %e is 9 d\bt on ?is head %e has1 prud]y to ! contr>y1 a "r to accept ! usual att5tions f ^? m5 :om %e likes4 ,if %e is s imprud5t z to %ut h]self (f f g5]al companion%ip be=e %e has rea*$ a decision z to m>riage & !n decide 9 ! negative1 %e is likely to suff] = h] imprud5ce4 ,by a ludicr\s *ance dep5d5t ^u ! relation ( ! sexes1 ! man 9 ! case1 if he c>es to re5t] society1 rega9s x mu* m easily ?an %e4 ,he c g ab\t & take up dropp$ ?reads :ile %e is wait+ at home = call]s :o d n arrive4 ,he is welcom$ back ) en?usiasm by ! girls :o ?\ght him lo/ =ev]1 :ile h] rec5t avoidance ( g5]al society is c\nt$ aga9/ h]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,becom+ ,,engag$ ,:5 a "y man f9ds 8 affections engag$ he %\ld =mally ask ! girl's fa!r = h] h& & %\ld /ate 8 f9ancial condition4 ,?is rule ( an old] civilization ?an ours is mu* ridicul$ 9 _m sections ( our c\ntry2 & x is true t !re are in/ances :]e x w\ld n apply1 :]e1 = reasons1 ! "y man %\ld make 8 initial plea to ! girl h]self4 ,b1 g5]ally speak+1 ! cu/om is to be comm5d$4 ,a "y man may well suppose t a girl's fa!r w h h] be/ int]e/s at he>t4 ,if ! "y man is s]i\s 9 8 desire = h] happ9ess he w h ! c\rage to ask h] ( "o ( ! two p]sons to :om %e is de>e/4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,importance ,,( ,,*ap]ons ,! :ole matt] ( acqua9tance betwe5 "y m5 & "y wom5 is "o ( supreme importance 9 t x may lead to results ( supreme importance4 ,9 view ( ?is fact x is amaz+ t p>5ts & gu>dians s (t5 leave ?is matt] to ! action ( *ance1 t !y d n feel ! wisdom ( ex]cis+ a guid+ h& 9 ! *oice ( associates = ! "y p "u _! c>e4 ,we h a prejudice aga9/ ! ,european cu/om ( social espionage ov] ! "y4 ,b x is safe to assume t if we _h m ( su* espionage s5tim5tal disa/]s w\ld n be s frequ5t z !y n[ are1 & m true & la/+ fri5d%ips betwe5 "y m5 & "y wom5 w\ld be =m$4 ,! old] memb]s ( ! h\sehold %\ld take a "p 9 creat+ ! social atmosph]e 9 :i* _! *ildr5 move4 ,!y %\ld cultivate ! fri5d%ip & acqua9tance ( "y p s t !y may be able ! m easily & wisely to ex]t an influ5ce 9 ! "r direction4 ,only ! op9ion & ta/e ( ! p]son mo/ conc]n$ %\ld be f9al & decisive 9 ! matt] ( p]sonal relations1 b p]suasion & direction are mighty =ces to be employ$4 ,especially %\ld p>5ts ( attractive "y wom5 make x _! bus9ess to "k some?+ ab\t ! "y m5 :o frequ5t ! h\se4 ,said a fa!r ( five well-m>ri$ "y wom53 8,i made x a rule 9 my daught]s' girlhood to all[ no "y man ! entre to my h\se :o 0 n eligible 9 ! s5se ( "* & bre$+40 ,x is true t y\? & age w n always agree on ! qualities ( desirable companion%ip1 & x is also true t 9 ^! disagreem5ts age is sometimes wrong & y\? is "r2 b ?is does n int]f]e ) ! tru? ( ! /atem5t t maturity %\ld give to y\? all ! help possible 9 ! frequ5tly mom5t\s *oice ( fri5ds1 p>ticul>ly ( ^? belong+ to ! opposite sex4 ,x is cu/om>y1 %ortly be=e a w$d+1 = a girl to give a f>ewell lun*eon to h] intimate girl fri5ds1 includ+ h] bridesmaids1 & = a man to ent]ta9 8 u%]s at a d9n] or supp] p>ty4 99 99 99 99 99 ,x is expect$ at p>ties t ! g5tlem5 pres5t w att5d on ! ladies1 9 ! old-fa%ion$ ^w 8wait0 on !m4 ,yet at _m su* affairs "o sees ! m5 congregat$ 9 ! hall1 eat+ _! salads & ices1 :ile ! wom5 are ungallantly left to !mselves4 ,s]vants may supply !m ) refre%m5ts if ! ho/ess has s plann$1 b ! att5dance is requir$ j ! same4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,well-,,br$ ,,man ,a well-br$ man w n 9 g5]al society make a m>k$ di/9ction 9 ! c\rtesy he %[s to a woman :o is unusually attractive & h] companion :o is less =tunate4 ,he w ask ! pla9] woman to dance & w see t %e has ices1 & he may f9d1 aft] all1 "s unexpect$ rew>d 9 a quality ( hidd5 *>m b5ea? ! unpromis+ ext]ior4 ,g5]osity 9 social situations is a sev]e te/ ( "* & = t reason x is se5 less (t5 ?an "o w\ld wi%4 ,! man :o jo9s a woman sitt+ conspicu\sly alone & devotes himself to h] ent]ta9m5t if = only a qu>t] ( an h\r des]ves all ! w>m unspok5 gratitude t is sure to be felt by ! woman4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a girl %\ld be c>eful n to mi/ake ! m]ely polite att5tions ( a man = ! advances ( a lov]4 ,m5 are afraid ( su* a girl because ( ! emb>rassm5ts t ensue1 :ile !y feel 8safe0 ) a s5sible "o :o c be fri5dly )\t becom+ s5tim5tal & :o does n view e man %e dances ) z a possible husb&4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,lun*+ ,,at ,a ,,club ,a woman :o is invit$ by a man to take lun*eon ) him at 8 club w f9d a side entrance res]v$ = ! use ( ladies1 & a p>lor :]e %e may be jo9$ by h] escort4 ,sid5ote3 ,a ,,man',s ,,leave-,,tak+ ,:5 a man is say+ good-by to a gr\p ( ladies1 he %\ld1 on leav+ ! room1 turn 8 back z little z possible4 ,,*apt] ,,xiii ,,co$ucation ,,socially ,,consid]$ ,,! idea ( co$ucation is a peculi>ly ,am]ican idea4 ,p]haps n[h]e else 9 ! _w d su* l>ge bodies ( "y m5 & "y wom5 meet toge!r = purposes ( /udy &1 at ! same "t1 enjoy toge!r su* social fre$om z is ! case 9 ! co$ucational in/itutions ( ! ,unit$ ,/ates4 ,"o may "q ! wisdom ( ! co$ucational idea1 b z to its popul>ity !re c be no d\bt4 ,co$ucation is n only ) u1 b1 if indications are correct1 x has come to /ay4 ,its oppon5ts say t m5 & wom5 d n "w toge!r s well z ap>t1 t ! di/raction ( sex 9 co$ucational in/itutions is su* z to prev5t bo? m5 & wom5 f mak+ ! highe/ intellectual ef=t 9 _! p[]4 ,! advocates ( ! sy/em cont5d t ! contact ( ! sexes 9 s*ool is a s\rce ( improvem5t to ! mann]s ( bo?1 t x makes "y m5 m c\rte\s & "y wom5 less s5tim5tal4 ,! fri5ds ( ! movem5t also say t m5 & wom5 are /imulat$ to _! be/ endeavor by ! pres5ce ( ! opposite sex2 & t1 z ! mascul9e & ! fem99e intellects diff]1 "o be+ complem5t>y to ! o!r1 s m5 & wom51 /udy+ toge!r1 ga9 a r\nd$ conception ( ! subject 9 h& n possible o!rwise4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,social ,,am5ities ,?is article is n conc]n$ ) ! pros & cons ( ! argum5t1 only ) ! que/ions sugge/$ by ! fre$om & facility ) :i* "y p meet "o ano!r 9 co$ucational s*ools4 ,x is easy to say t ! usual social conv5tions %\ld be obs]v$1 z ( c\rse !y %\ld2 b x is n h>d to see t ! some:at in=mal conditions "u :i* "y p meet 9 ^! in/itutions1 make a /rict adh]5ce to ! code a matt] ( difficulty4 ,eighte5 is ! av]age age at :i* "y p ent] college4 ,!y are sc>cely m5 & wom51 yet !y are too old = s*oolboy & girl pranks1 9 :i*1 h[ev]1 !y (t5 feel tempt$ to indulge4 ,_m "y m5 & "y wom5 />t to college )\t social exp]i5ce4 ,!y may belong to good families ^: ess5tial ideals ( conduct are /an* & f9e1 b to families 9 :i* h>d "w & f9ancial /ress h cr[d$ out ! k & practise ( social am5ities4 ,! y\? ( ! /ud5ts conc]n$1 ! inexp]i5ce ( _m1 ! v>iety 9 previ\s tra9+ & inh]itance make ! "q ( social relations mu* m complicat$ ?an x w\ld be 9 ! t[ns or cities f :i* ! v>i\s /ud5ts come & :]e ea* "o belongs by cu/om & bir? to a well-def9$ circle ( fri5ds4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,=m+ ,,fri5d%ips ,a gold5 piece ( advice = ^? ent]+ college1 ?\gh "o n easy to foll[1 is3 8,be sl[ 9 =m+ y\r fri5d%ips40 ,! fri5d%ips y make ) ! memb]s ( y\r own sex influ5ce decid$ly y\r fri5d%ips ) ! o!r & bo? %\ld be ent]$ into ) delib]ation4 ,bett] be some:at lonely 9 ! beg9n+ ( college life ?an precipitate relations ) ^? :om y may lat] come to di/ru/4 ,let a "y woman wait1 take "t to survey ! situation coolly & dispassionately1 be=e %e decides :i* "o1 if any1 ( ! ,greek societies :i* solicit h] att5tion %e w ent]4 ,d n let h] be c>ri$ away by ! 8ru%+10 ! spreads1 ! flatt]ies1 ! fl[]s t may be us$ to influ5ce h] decision4 ,%e w be all ! m valu$ by ! sorority t gets h] if %e holds (f a little until h] own m9d & judgm5t h r5d]$ an answ] to invitation4 ,&1 9 ! same relative situation1 ! same ^w ( w>n+ applies to "y m54 ,x is 9 place "h to say 9 reg>d to ! ,greek societies t ! pleasure & pr(it d]iv$ by ! memb]s f su* memb]%ip %\ld n lead !m to a selfi% disreg>d ( ^? outside4 ,! t5d5cy to "w only = "o's frat]nity or sorority & to f9d fell[%ip or fri5d%ip n[h]e else is recogniz$ z a n>r[+ influ5ce 9 ^! organizations4 ,sid5ote3 ,,college ,,prec$5ts ,ea* college1 co$ucational or o!rwise1 has its local etiquette t has ris5 out ( its hi/ory4 ,c]ta9 ?+s c be done by s5iors1 = in/ance1 t w\ld n be tol]at$ 9 fre%m52 c]ta9 o!r ?+s t h no ref]5ce to ! g5]al rules ( society are b>r$ because ( a collegiate caprice t has be5 trans=m$ into law4 ,) ?is unwritt5 b b9d+ etiquette ! /ud5t soon becomes acqua9t$4 ,if he runs c\nt] to x1 he is br\ght up %>ply & made to realize ! p5alty4 ,! etiquette ( common s5se1 :i* %\ld guide ! relations betwe5 "y m5 & wom51 is ( ano!r sort &1 ow+ to ! exig5cies ( ! case1 mu/ l>gely be express$ by negative admonitions4 ,! fir/ ( ^! is1 d n feel t abs5ce f home gives y privileges to d :at y w\ld n d at home4 ,! ^w 8l>k0 is an entic+ "o1 b "y m5 & "y wom5 d n indulge 9 8l>ks0 toge!r )\t pay+ up4 ,any?+ t involves secrecy 9 ! good times ( "y m5 & "y wom5 away at s*ool %\ld be avoid$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,avoid ,,famili>ity ,! frequ5cy ) :i* "y p ( two sexes meet "o ano!r 9 co$ucational s*ools leads !m easily into ! habit ( call+ ea* o!r by _! fir/ names1 & into ! worse "o ( adopt+ nicknames4 ,! advice ( ,pun* is 9 place4 ,don't4 ,fri5d%ip does n mean famili>ity4 ,inde$ famili>ity is its greate/ foe4 ,:5 a "y girl all[s a "y man to call h] by h] fir/ "n1 unless engag$ to him1 %e *eap5s 8 reg>d = h] by j s mu*4 ,x (t5 happ5s t ! dormitories or bo>d+-h\ses :]e /ud5ts live d n af=d attractive reception rooms4 ,a "y woman %r9ks f receiv+ calls f h] "y m5 acqua9tances 9 ugly surr\nd+s & 9 a room fill$ p]haps ) uncong5ial girls or ^? indiff]5t to h]4 ,x is n improp]1 "u ^! circum/ances1 t %e %\ld see h] m5 fri5ds else:]e1--at ! college libr>y1 at ! h\se ( "s m>ri$ fri5d or 9 ! c\rse ( a walk plann$ be=eh&4 ,b x is 9 wret*$ ta/e = h] to loit] on ! /reets ) a "y man1 to /op on corn]s = talk1 to walk back & =? repeat$ly f college to bo>d+-place 9 8 company4 ,aga9 good s5se says1 8,don't40 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,ex*ange ,,( ,,photographs ,ex*ang+ photographs is reg>d$ z "o ( ! special privileges ( college life4 ,x w\ld be int]e/+ to "k h[ l>ge a p] c5t4 ( ! income made by photograph]s 9 ! ,unit$ ,/ates comes f college /ud5ts4 ,! ex*ange ( photographs betwe5 "y m5 & "y wom5 9 ! same class 9 college is all[able4 ,su* ex*ange is1 9 a s5se1 (ficial & imp]sonal1 & is w>rant$ by t fact4 ,:5 a "y woman be/[s h] photograph "u su* circum/ances %e %\ld write ^u x ! "n ( ! college & ! date ( ! class4 ,?is w indicate cle>ly t ! giv+ is n a matt] ( s5tim5t4 ,! promiscu\s ex*ange ( photographs betwe5 "y m5 & "y wom5 at college is bad4 ,only a bro!r or a lov] or an old fri5d %\ld be ! recipi5t ( a "y woman's lik5ess4 ,!re is some?+ too intimate ab\t su* a gift to make x an object ( g5]al di/ribution4 99 99 99 99 99 ,"o m 8,don't0 occurs to ! writ] z applicable to ! relations ( "y m5 & wom5 z fell[ /ud5ts4 ,don't use ! college slang or j>gon :5 y talk toge!r4 ,if x is impossible to keep x altoge!r out ( ! talk1 use z little ( x z possible4 ,m5 /ud5ts may c>ry on conv]sation ?r\gh ?is m$ium & x is sometimes v funny1 b x 0 n int5d$ = fem99e purposes4 ,x is disgu/+ to he> a "y man speak to a "y woman 9 ! t]ms he w\ld use 9 address+ 8 *um4 ,on ! o!r h& x is ! attempt$ manni%ness ( tone popul> ) "s wom5 /ud5ts t prejudices _m wor?y p aga9/ co$ucational s*ools4 ,! use ( college slang outside ! b\nd>ies ( college life is bad =m ev5 = a man1 & gives a prov9cial tone to 8 talk4 ,sid5ote3 ,,class ,,fe/ivities ,! opportunities = special fe/ivities are _m 9 co$ucational life1 & !re is a /rong temptation to ov]do on ! social side4 ,class dances & receptions1 frat]nity & sorority p>ties1 comm5cem5t gaieties (f] frequ5t allurem5t4 ,a /ud5t1 woman or man1 %\ld sift out ?is matt] ( recreation 9 8 own m9d & %\ld det]m9e h[ mu* pleasure ( ?is k9d he c af=d f9ancially & )\t detrim5t to 8 heal? or 8 class /&+4 ,"s social div]sion he ne$s4 ,to develop on ! m5tal side only is a mi/ake4 ,too mu* div]sion is a f> m s]i\s mi/ake4 ,x goes )\t say+ t1 at ! p>ties giv5 by /ud5ts1 !re %\ld be prop] *ap]onage4 ,?is is p>ticul>ly necess>y 9 ent]ta9m5ts1 (t5 q elaborate 9 "*1 giv5 9 *apt] h\ses ( ! frat]nities4 ,! fact t "y m5 are ho/s to ! "y wom5 on su* occasions makes x ! m necess>y t *ap]ons %\ld be num]\s & n too vivaci\s 9 "*4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,dean ,,( ,,wom5 ,!re %\ld be 9 e co$ucational s*ool a dean ( wom54 ,! duties ( su* a position include regulation1 z f> z possible1 ( social relations betwe5 ! "y m5 & "y wom5 ( ! in/itution z well z actual in/ruction1 if necess>y1 on ! m important matt]s ( social etiquette4 ,9 ?is (ficial1 "y girls ( ! in/itution %\ld f9d a fri5d to :om !y may g = advice on vex$ que/ions4 ,:]e !re is no =mal (fice ( ! k9d nam$1 ! s]vice indicat$ may sometimes be r5d]$ by wom5 memb]s ( ! faculty4 ,"s ye>s ago1 9 a we/]n t[n1 ! ,*air ( ,engli% ,lit]ature 0 occupi$ by a woman :o took ^u h]self ! burd5 ( improv+ ! mann]s ( ! /ud5t body1 l>gely compos$ ( /urdy "y f>m]s & girls f c\ntry t[ns4 ,once a ye> 9 ! college *apel1 %e gave a lecture on ?is subject 9 :i* %e /at$ pla9ly :at %e ?\ght necess>y = ! social improvem5t ( ! s*ool4 ,_m a "y man 0 help$ ov] awkw>d places by h] advice2 _m a "y woman sav$ f "s escapade :i* %e might h blu%$ lat] to own4 ,! value ( su* in/ruction is ine/imable4 ,:5 opportunity (f]s = consultation ) su* a guide & tea*]1 ! un9/ruct$ /ud5t %\ld avail himself ( x4 ,:5 su* a privilege is n procurable1 "o's own s5se ( propriety1 if dilig5tly s\ght = & obey$1 w (t5 lead "o out ( an awkw>d situation = :i* "o does n "k ! =mal rule4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,high-,,s*ool ,,p>ties ,_m p>5ts :o int5d to s5d _! daught]s to wom5's colleges all[ !m to take a prep>atory c\rse 9 a co$ucational high s*ool4 ,! be/ high s*ools ( t "* n[ take ! v important precaution ( hir+ a dean1 ^: duty x is especially to wat* ov] ! girl /ud5ts4 ,high-s*ool sororities & all secret organizations are fr[n$ on if n positively prohibit$ 9 ^! s*ools1 z x has be5 demon/rat$ t !y int]f]e ) prop] att5tion to /udies & lead to _m undesirable relation%ips4 ,class hops & receptions suitably *ap]on$ furni% suffici5t div]sion4 ,"o hopes t "o ( ! results ( ! appo9t+ ( deans 9 ! high s*ools w be a *ange 9 ! mann] ( dress+ ( _m high-s*ool girls4 ,x is too (t5 bo? in>ti/ic & 9 bad ta/e4 ,a s*oolgirl %\ld be dress$ prettily1 b 9 a quiet & appropriate way4 ,,*apt] ,,xiv ,,! ,,*ap]on ,,9 "s p>ts ( ,am]ica ! *ap]on is1 l ,sairey ,gamp's int]e/+ fri5d1 8,mrs4 ,h>ris10--a m]e figm5t ( ! imag9ation4 ,n[h]e 9 ,am]ica does %e occupy ! p]fectly def9$ position t %e holds 9 ,europe2 n[h]e 9 ,am]ica are h] duties s ardu\s z ^? impos$ on h] 9 old] c\ntries4 ,! idea t a *ap]on = "y p is necess>y on all occasions (f5ds ! ta/e ( ! ,am]ican4 ,x is ev5 oppos$ to 8 code ( good mann]s4 ,t a "y woman %\ld nev] be able 9 h] fa!r's h\se to receive1 )\t a gu>dian1 ! "y m5 ( h] acqua9tance1 is ali5 to ! av]age ,am]ican's ideal ( good bre$+ & ( indep5d5ce 9 fri5d%ip4 ,9 addition1 8 s5se ( humor sets d[n con/ant att5dance on ! v "y z a bore & we>isome 9 ! extreme4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a "y bus9ess or pr(essional woman disp5ses ) any protection except t af=d$ h] by h] "w itself4 ,"s ye>s ago a "y s\!rn woman1 =c$ to e>n h] liv+1 & :o _h become a report] 9 ,wa%+ton1 made h]self absurd by tak+ a du5na ) h] :5ev] %e w5t out to ga!r news4 ,p]haps x is unnecess>y to say t no girl c af=d to call on a man at 8 (fice except on an err& ( bus9ess or *>ity4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,do+ ,,)\t ,,*ap]ons ,because ( ^! prejudices curr5t conc]n+ ! idea ( *ap]onage1 because ( ?is mode ( consid]+ ! subject1 *>act]i/ically ,am]ican1 x is all ! m necess>y t ! l9e %\ld be %>ply drawn z to ! occasions :]e ! cons5sus ( usage & good s5se decl>es a *ap]on to be indisp5sable4 ,! s5se ( ! be/ ,am]ican conv5tionalities1 broadly speak+1 is t a "y woman may h great] lib]ty 9 h] fa!r's h\se ?an else:]e4 ,a "y man :o frequ5ts a h\se = ! purpose ( call+ on a "y woman %\ld be on t]ms ) ! memb]s ( h] family1 b x is n tak5 = grant$ t he mu/ sp5d e m9ute ( 8 visits 9 _! pres5ce1 or t ! "y woman %\ld feel t %e is act+ unconv5tionally 9 receiv+ 8 calls by h]self4 ,x is unconv5tional1 h[ev]1 = h] to take ) him long ev5+ drives )\t a *ap]on1 or to g on any sort ( prolong$ outdoor excursion1 be ! p>ty l>ge or small1 )\t a *ap]on4 ,driv+ p>ties1 fi%+ p>ties1 c\ntry-club p>ties1 sail+ p>ties1 picnics ( e k9d1--"h ! *ap]on is indisp5sable4 ,no "o c tell :at accid5ts or delays may occur at fe/ivities ( ?is k9d t might r5d] a prolong$ abs5ce emb>rass+ & awkw>d )\t ! *ap]on4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,*ap]on',s ,,duties ,any m>ri$ woman may act z *ap]on4 8,"y & tw5ty0 may *ap]on 8fat & =ty0 if ! =m] has ! prefix 8,mrs40 be=e h] "n & ! latt] is /ill ( ! 8,miss0 p]iod4 ,x is (t5 v amus+ to he> "y matrons talk ( _! exp]i5ce 9 *ap]on+ _! eld]s4 ,! (fice is "o t ! newly m>ri$ woman likes to assume bo? because ( its privileges & because x seems to emphasize h] new dignities4 ,9 consequ5ce ( ! fact t ! frivol\s & light-m9d$ "y m>ri$ woman is q z apt to be call$ ^u to fill ! (fice ( *ap]on z a p]son ( m responsible qualities1 ! duties ( ?is position are (t5 less consid]$ ?an its advantages4 ,to "s ext5t ! duties & ! privileges melt toge!r1 b n entirely4 ,:51 = in/ance1 a ba*elor1 or a m>ri$ man ^: wife is out ( t[n1 ent]ta9s "y unm>ri$ p ) a !at] p>ty & a supp] aft]w>d at re/aurant or club1 & asks a m>ri$ woman ( 8 acqua9tance to act z *ap]on1 he expects to pay h] m att5tion & c\rtesy ?an he w give to o!r gue/s1 :ile at ! same "t expect+ f h] an assumption ( "s ( ! duties ( ho/ess = ! occasion4 ,he may s5d h] fl[]s if he *ooses4 ,%e mu/ h ! seat ( honor 9 ! front ( ! box engag$ at ! !at] &1 lat]1 ! seat ( honor at ! supp] p>ty4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,*ap]on',s ,,privileges ,9 return %e mu/ ex]cise h] p[] ( pleas+ g5]ally & n = ! b5efit only ( ! two or ?ree ( ! p>ty :om %e likes be/4 ,h] surveillance ( ! company is1 ( c\rse1 m]ely nom9al4 ,x is tak5 = grant$ 9 civiliz$ society t "y p w behave prop]ly4 ,a *ap]on is m]ely ! (ficial sign t ! proprieties are obs]v$4 ,%e is n an in/ructress & is n likely to be ask$ to fill ! position ( *ap]on m ?an once if %e assumes to be4 ,h] pres5ce prev5ts emb>rassm5t & emb>rass+ situations4 ,x %\ld also act ^u ! gue/s z an amalgamat+ ag5t4 ,at a p>ty ( ! description giv51 h] bus9ess is to mix agreeably ! diff]5t elem5ts ( ! company4 ,! duties & privileges ( act+ z *ap]on1 9 su* circum/ances1 are ( s pleasant a k9d t ! (fice is a covet$ "o4 ,attractive wom5 are mu* m apt to be ask$ to fill ! position ?an unattractive ones1 except :5 a *ap]on is reg>d$ simply z an (f]+ on ! alt> ( propriety4 ,g5]ally speak+1 ! duties ( a *ap]on are some:at v>i\s1 & m or less ardu\s1 accord+ to ! quality ( ^? *ap]on$4 ,^! duties dep5d s l>gely ^u circum/ances t !y are n easily classifi$4 ,x is1 ( c\rse1 ! "p ( ! *ap]on to smoo? ov] awkw>d situations1 to arrange & make smoo? ! pa? ( pleasure4 ,x is ! duty ( ! *ap]on$ to agree )\t demur to :atev] ! *ap]on may sugge/4 ,on any debatable po9t h] decision mu/ be reg>d$ z f9al4 ,sid5ote3 ,,*ap]ons ,,at ,a ,,ball ,a p]sonal & individual *ap]on = e "y girl is n necess>y at a ball4 ,x is exp$i5t1 h[ev]1 t !re %\ld be "s "o pres5t :o1 on dem&1 c act 9 t capacity = h]1--"s m>ri$ woman ) :om %e may sit out a dance1 if %e be n provid$ ) a p>tn]1 or :om %e may consult 9 any ( ! small difficulties possible to ! occasion4 ,if a "y woman att5d a ball 9 company ) h] "m or "s o!r matron1 %e %\ld return ea* "t1 aft] a dance1 to ! seat occupi$ by h] *ap]on & %\ld direct h] sev]al p>tn]s to f9d h] !re4 ,9 case %e dances ) any "o unkn[n to h] *ap]on1 x goes p]haps )\t say+ t ! man 9 ! case %\ld be pres5t$ prop]ly to ! fri5d 9 *>ge ( h]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,! "q z to :e!r a "y man mu/ ask ! s]vices ( a *ap]on :5 he invites "o "y woman to accompany him to ! !at] is answ]$ diff]5tly 9 diff]5t p>ts ( ! c\ntry4 ,9 ! ,ea/ a man :o asks a "y woman to g ) him to ! op]a or ! play1 (t5 invites h] "m or "s fem99e m>ri$ fri5d to accompany !m4 ,9 ! ,we/ ?is usage is n s common4 ,^? :o d n obs]ve x are n reg>d$ z outside ! pale ( good =m4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,on ,,outdoor ,,excursions ,sid5ote3 ,a ,,dut* ,,treat ,9 ! case ( outdoor excursions ! *ap]on %\ld fix ! h\r ( dep>ture to & f ! place ( fe/ivity2 %e %\ld gr\p ! gue/s = ! j\rney !re & back1 & %\ld designate _! positions at ! table if a meal or refre%m5ts be s]v$4 ,! duty ( ! *ap]on$1 is1 9 return1 to make ! position ( *ap]on z agreeable z possible1 to def] to h] 9 e way4 ,! favor1 9 ! case ( *ap]onage1 is conf]r$ by ! *ap]on1 ?\gh ! actions ( c]ta9 crude "y p are no recognition ( ?is fact4 ,a case 9 po9t occurs to ! writ] :]e a "y man & 8 wife 7 ask$ to *ap]on a p>ty ( "y p to a popul> r5dezv\s twelve or f\rte5 miles f ! city 9 :i* !y liv$4 ,! m>ri$ p1 aft] mu* urg+1 cons5t$ ) "s reluctance1 !reby sacrific+ a *]i%$ plan ( _! own4 ,go+ & com+ !y 7 ask$ to take ! back seat1 :i* !y occupi$ by !mselves1--a seat ov] ! :eels ( ! l>ge vehicle provid$4 ,dur+ ! c\ntry supp] !y sat at "o end ( ! table :]e _! pres5ce 0 conv]sationally ignor$4 ,:5 ! "t came = return+ home ! m>ri$ man 0 approa*$ by "o ( ! orig9ators ( ! p>ty1 :o said t ! affair 0 a 8,dut* treat10 & w\ld he 7! m>ri$ man7 please pay 8 %>e ( ! bill4 ,?is is1 ( c\rse1 an extraord9>y case1 b 9 a gross way x illu/rates ! lack ( consid]ation (t5 incid5t to ! relation betwe5 *ap]on & *ap]on$4 ,t ! obligation to ! *ap]on %\ld be prop]ly recogniz$ is an important "p ( social tra9+4 ,,*apt] ,,xv ,,! ,,matt] ,,( ,,dress ,,to be com=tably & becom+ly clo!d is an ackn[l$g$ aspiration ( mo/ wom5 & _m m54 ,! "t to be a%am$ ( su* an aspiration is n[ happily gone by ) "s o!r detrim5tal puritanical notions1 & we *e]fully give ourselves to ! love ( pretty ?+s = p]sonal adornm5t z we d to beauty 9 o!r directions4 ,t too mu* "t may be sp5t 9 ! ?\ght ab\t1 & selection (1 clo!s is true1 also t extravagance ( exp5diture & o!r vices are ! price ( su* vanity4 ,on ! o!r h&1 x is z true1 ?\gh n s directly & obvi\sly s1 t a lack ( att5tion to dress leads equally to disa/]4 ,! badly-g[n$ woman is apt to be self-consci\s1 n 9 possession ( h] be/ self2 & too (t5 %e c>ries ! ?\ght ( dress exactly to ! place :]e h] m9d %\ld be free ( su* reflections4 ,"o %\ld n we> m ?an "o c successfully 8c>ry (f40 ,c>e ab\t ! details ( dress %\ld be left beh9d :5 "o goes visit+ or appe>s any:]e 9 public4 ,if "o's toilet has be5 ?\ght out & att5d$ to prop]ly be=e leav+ home1 "o's m9d is !n free = ! ent]ta9m5t ( o!r subjects4 ,if ?is important matt] is sugge/$ to "o only by ! unhappy contra/ betwe5 "o's appe>ance & t ( ! p ab\t "o1 !n unless "o is possess$ ( a p>ticul>ly /rong m9d1 ! pleasure ( ! occasion 9 "q is nullifi$1 ! possible pr(it to be d]iv$ f x is cut (f4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,gospel ,,( ,,good ,,g[ns ,self-consci\sness does away ) ! easy use ( "o's faculties & r5d]s !m /iff & unpliable4 ,trim appropriate clo?+ has a t5d5cy to make ! we>] happy & is an enc\ragem5t to a com=table & lively temp] ( m9d4 ,i rememb] he>+ a humor\s old cl]gyman say t he 0 frequ5tly call$ ^u to endure ! recital ( h] mis]ies f a v untidy woman ( 8 congregation & to prescribe advice !re=4 ,at la/ ) him tru? came to ! surface1 & a ?\ght t _h long la9 dormant 9 8 m9d f\nd expression on ! f9al occasion ( h] reque/ = c\nsel f him4 8,madam10 he said1 8,i believe y w\ld be a mu* happi] woman if y comb$ y\r hair becom+ly & put on a fre% g[n (t5]40 ,! matt] ( dress is at once a s]i\s &1 to a beauty-lov+ temp]am5t1 a *>m+ consid]ation4 ,to "s ext5t x has to d ) "* & mu* to d ) happ9ess4 ,"s morali/s to ! contr>y not)/&+1 ! becom+ness or ! unbecom+ness ( :at "o we>s reacts ^u ! we>] & makes h] di/ru/ful or confid5t1 timid or c\rage\s1 & ?is 9 a n unwor?y s5se4 99 99 99 99 99 ,if ! subject ( dress is important1 ! consid]ation we give to x %\ld be ( a correspond+ly dignifi$ & ord]ly "*4 ,!re is a happy m$ium betwe5 sp5d+ too mu* & too little "t on ! ?\ght ( :at we we>4 ,at regul> p]iods1 say at lea/ twice a ye>1 ! matt] %\ld be tak5 up ) "s c>e1 ! ne$s ( "o's w>drobe inve/igat$1 ! am\nt ( money at "o's disposal = su* purposes be det]m9$ ^u4 ,sid5ote3 ,,if ,,! ,,purse ,,is ,,small ,if "o's purse is s l>ge t ! "q is only "o ( pur*ase1 ( consult+ good outfitt]s & dressmak]s1 !re is /ill room = neat & me?odical managem5t4 ,if "o's purse is small1 ord]ly & bus9esslike managem5t is a necessity4 ,"o %\ld /udy "o's appe>ance & f9d out = "o's self :at colors1 :at t5d5cies 9 fa%ion are becom+ to "o1 & resolutely /rike o!rs (f ! li/4 ,reason1 n fancy1 nor altoge!r fa%ion1 %\ld guide "o 9 ! *oice ( fabrics & t9ts4 ,"o's mann] ( life %\ld be consid]$ 9 ! selection ( g[ns1 & ! appropriate ?+ pick$ out = ! anticipat$ occasion4 ,a tra9 on ! /reet1 velvet 9 ! morn+1 no matt] :at may seem to be worn by extremi/s1 c\ld nev] be 9 ta/e4 ,veils t are s heavy z to seem disguises or s ornam5t$ t !y give ! we>]1 at a little di/ance1 ! appe>ance ( hav+ a sk9 disease1 %\ld be left to ! wom5 :o wi% to />tle4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,/reet ,,g[n ,! mo/ important g[n to be tak5 into acc\nt is ! /reet g[n1 ! g>b 9 :i* "o appe>s e day & be=e ! l>ge/ numb] ( p4 ,t "o %\ld look well all ! days ( ! week is m important & conv9c+ ?an t "o %\ld look well = ! p>ticul> & infrequ5t occasion4 ,if "o mu/ *oose betwe5 a good day-9-&-day-out g[n & "o ( a m elaborate & decorative description1 ! pref]5ce %\ld be giv5 to ! tailor or /reet g[n4 ,"o w\ld bett] inve/ 9 a clo? co/ume ( good mat]ial & cut1 & we> ?is un*ang$ ?r\gh m ?an "o season ?an indulge 9 two or ?ree ( *eap] mold t reflect un/eadily ! pass+ mode4 ,?is g[n may s]ve n only = /reet b1 ) v>i\s wai/s1 may develop o!r uses ?an t ( outdoor we>4 ,! *anges possible 9 accessories w make x available = calls1 teas1 aft]noon receptions & ! !at]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,betwe5 ,,seasons ,_m wom5 :o dress fairly well 9 summ] & 9 w9t]1 fail to provide !mselves ) suitable attire = ! int]v5+ seasons4 ,spr+ f9ds !m ) only a fur-trimm$ cloak1 & 9 e>ly fall !y are /ill we>+ ?9 midsumm] frocks4 ,9 our *angeable climate1 clo?+ ( v>i\s weights is absolutely necess>y to make a good appe>ance4 ,all fur coats are seldom suitable1 & = ?is reason %\ld be left = ^? :o c buy z _m g>m5ts z !y *oose4 ,good sep>ate furs are a mu* wis] inve/m5t = a woman ( limit$ means4 ,:ite kid gloves = m>ket+ & %opp+1 ev5 if "o c af=d !m1 are out ( ta/e because out ( place4 99 99 99 99 99 ,= a woman :o goes to balls & d9n]s1 h[ev] infrequ5tly1 a good l[-cut g[n ( "s description is indisp5sable4 ,wom5 :o h liv$ quiet prov9cial lives & are call$ ^u to grace a wid] social sph]e are n always aw>e ( ?is4 ,!y provide !mselves ) appropriate g[ns ( o!r descriptions1 b !y feel afraid ( ! g[n made especially = ev5+ we>4 ,!y h a fooli% fe> sometimes ( try+1 by ?is means1 to look y\ng] ?an !y are or ( mak+ !mselves conspicu\s 9 ! we>+ ( su* a frock4 ,conspicu\sness lies 9 ! o!r direction4 ,full dress is ! prop] we> = metropolitan ent]ta9m5ts aft] six o'clock 9 ! ev5+1 & full dress means a dress coat = a man & a l[-cut frock ( appropriate mat]ial = a woman4 ,avoidance ( emb>rassm5t means ! adoption ( ?is conv5tional we>4 ,a woman :o has rea*$ an age :5 h] neck has begun to )] 9 front is n1 h[ev]1 an object ( beauty :5 dcollet4 ,%e w d well to we> a jewel$ coll> or a b& ( velvet or tulle4 ,sid5ote3 ,,:at ,,is ,,full ,,dress ,to ! indisp5sable items j m5tion$ may be add$ !at] g[ns1 d9n] g[ns1 ball g[ns1 out+ co/umes1 tea g[ns1 negligees1--a bewild]+ v>iety ( attire suit$ n only to e fem99e ne$ b answ]+ to e fem99e caprice4 ,few words are necess>y to ^? wom5 ^: purse is equal to ! pur*ase ( all ! fem99e fripp]ies de> to a woman's he>t4 ,deal]s & exp]i5c$ modi/es are always at h& to (f] s]viceable advice to ^? :o h ! :]e)al to pay = x1 ?\gh "o %\ld n take1 )\t weigh+ x1 ev5 ! be/ advice ( ?is sort4 ,try to be intellig5t ab\t y\r clo!s & to %[ a little individuality4 ,only ?is bit ( c\nsel is p]haps 9 season to ^? :o may h measurably :at !y *oose 9 ! way ( we>+ app>el4 ,pres]ve "s sort ( equality betwe5 ! diff]5t items ( y\r toilet4 ,d n h a spl5did !at] g[n & a %abby negligee4 ,d n we> f9e furs ov] an inf]ior /reet g[n4 ,d n we> heavy /reet boots ) a velvet ev5+ g[n4 ,arrange ! articles ( y\r w>drobe s t !y be> "s sort ( happy relation to "o ano!r1 s t "o article may n be a%am$ to be f\nd 9 ! company ( any o!r1 s t y\r clo!s may seem to be ! h>moni\s possession ( "o p]son1 n ! happ5-s belong+s ( a half-doz5 v>y+ temp]am5ts4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,g[n ,,& ,,its ,,we>] ,!re are p]sons1--we all "k !m1--^: happy attire is always call+ =? "s su* rem>k z1--8,t looks precisely l h]10 or 8,%e & ! g[n 7 made = ea* o!r40 ,?is sort ( relation betwe5 p]son & w>drobe is ! mo/ *>m+ outcome possible to ! consid]ation ( p]sonal adornm5t4 ,x gives dignity & di/9ct e/hetic value to ! subject ( clo!s4 ,let u h no m r$ on blondes1 & let ov]-/\t wom5 leave plaids & *ecks alone4 ,?9 girls %\ld we> frills & leave pla9-tailor$ clo!s to plumpness4 ,) ! woman ( means1 ?is h>mony ne$ n be1 ?\gh x (t5 is1 occasional4 ,x may be con/ant & if %e is a p]son ( e/hetic temp]am5t %e may ga9 f ?is happy relation betwe5 h]self & h] clo!s a s\l-satisfy+ s5se ( bliss n to be ga9$ f any o!r s\rce 9 ! _w4 ,ov]-dress+ is1 ( c\rse1 avoid$ by wom5 ( ta/e4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,importance ,,( ,,accessories ,_m wom5 :o h little to sp5d put ne>ly ! lump sum into g[ns4 ,?is is a mi/ake ( ! grave/ sort4 ,! effect ( ! prettie/ g[n may be spoil$ by an ill-fitt+ corset1 by gloves t are no long] fre% & by %oes t are n trim & suitable to ! occasion4 ,:ite gloves %\ld be :ite1 & :ite %oes likewise1 or !y %\ld n be worn4 ,! prop] accessories ( dress1 among :i* are veils1 belts1 ru*+s & coll>s1 (t5 give to an o!rwise pla9 co/ume1 ! effect ( some?+ *ic & tell+4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,h[ ,,to ,,put ,,on ,a ,,hat ,becom+ head-ge> is ( ! utmo/ importance4 8,a hat10 said an apt society woman ( ! writ]'s acqua9tance1 8%\ld be> ! same relation to o!r p>ts ( "o's co/ume t ! title ( a /ory does to ! /ory itself4 ,?is article ( dress %\ld be at once ! key & ! consummation ( ! effect int5d$40 ,! fa%ion 9 hats v>ies ) great rapidity f ye> to ye>1 & "o %\ld be c>eful to avoid ! extremes ( /yle4 ,only a face ( great beauty c /& ! precipit\s1 fanta/ic slants & curves t m>k ! ultra fa%ionable 9 mill9]y4 ,if "o is s =tunate z to f9d sometime a %ape t is decid$ly becom+1 "o %\ld foll[ ?r\gh life its g5]al outl9e ) modifications suffici5t to con=m 9 a g5]al way to pass+ modes4 ,=m ! habit ( putt+ y\r hats on f ! back1 ?us pu%+ ! loose hair ab\t ! face slightly =w>d4 ,! pla9e/ face is s(t5$ & beautifi$ by a fluffy arrangem5t ( ! hair ab\t ! temple4 ,no?+ is m fatal to good looks ?an a high bald =ehead4 ,_m wom5 make a fatal mi/ake 9 _! pref]5ce = big hats4 ,! picture-hat is only suit$ to ! l>ge & picturesque type4 ,l>ge hats make little wom5 look l mu%rooms1 & frequ5tly !y take away all di/9ction & individuality f ! face b5ea?4 99 99 99 99 99 ,_m a *>m+ co/ume is spoil$ by a failure to realize t ! feet mu/ be dress$ 9 h>mony ) ! re/ ( ! co/ume4 ,too _m wom51 o!rwise attractive 9 appe>ance1 we> %oes ) scuff$ toes & run-d[n heels1 ! latt] due to a bad habit ( turn+ ! foot ov] 9 walk+4 ,?is c be correct$ easily by hav+ ! %oe built up at ! sole on ! opposite side by ! ins]tion ( a piece ( ?ick lea!r1 :i* any %oe-m5d] w d v *eaply4 ,"o is !n =c$ to use ! foot prop]ly4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,*oice ,,9 ,,jewels ,wom5 o!rwise ta/eful 9 dress are (t5 c>eless & un?\ghtful 9 ! jewels !y we>4 ,9 g[ns & mill9]y !y w\ld n ?9k ( we>+ colors t cla% & fight1 yet !y d n e/abli% a correspond5ce betwe5 clo!s & jewels worn1 betwe5 tr9kets & ! quality ( p]sonal appe>ance4 ,!y we> ! cont5ts ( _! jewel-boxes irrespective ( suitability1 indiff]5t z to season ( night or day4 ,a pr(usion ( jewels1 or ! we>+ ( v>i\s & ho/ile /ones at "o "t1 is to be avoid$ z ! pe/il5ce4 ,a jewel1 l a f9e picture1 ne$s backgr\nd1 space to %[ x (f4 ,9 ! company ( _m o!r jewels x loses id5tity & di/9ction1 & fails 9 conf]r+ ^! qualities ^u ! we>]4 ,9 *oos+ preci\s /ones x is a good rule to e/abli% "s sort ( relation betwe5 _! color & ! eyes ( ! we>]4 ,turquoise int5sifies ! hue ( blue eyes1 topaz t ( br[n ones1 & em]alds are p>ticul>ly becom+ to wom5 ^: eyes h a gre5i% t+e4 ,color is s important an elem5t ( success 9 e dep>tm5t ( dress t its /udy %\ld be a "p ( ! education ( e woman :o wi%es to be well g[n$4 ,! correspond5ce betwe5 ! color ( ! g[n & ! appe>ance ( ! p]son :o is to we> x is ( m importance ?an ! quality ( ! texture employ$4 ,hue & fit make = becom+ness to a great] ext5t ?an elegance 9 mat]ial1 ?\gh ! latt] is also an elem5t ( beauty 9 an all-r\nd conception ( ! subject4 ,a feel+ = textures is r>e1 b x may be cultivat$1 & ! ef=t to d ?is is wor? mak+4 ,sid5ote3 ,,individuality ,,9 ,,dress ,"s wom5 :o are timid z to _! ability to comb9e colors & tones1 plunge into black z a safe refuge or adopt a /&>d color :i* !y reg>d z 8safe0 = all occasions4 ,?is is a poor way out ( ! difficulty4 ,resolute /udy & a little exp]im5t+ w yield bett] results & an agreeable v>iety4 ,a woman %\ld /udy h] 8po9ts0 9 ! light ( day be=e a full-l5g? mirror1 & once %e has really le>n$ :at becomes h] %e %\ld all[ no mill9] or modi/e to coax h] into 8! late/ cry40 ,!re is no su* ?+ z ! 8tyranny ( fa%ion0 = ! woman :o dresses intellig5tly4 ,%e w nev] be ei!r 9 or out ( ! mode4 ,neatness is unque/ionably an elem5t ( t indef9able ?+ we call /yle1 ?\gh _m wom5 :o are neat are n modi%4 ,neatness is ! integrity ( dress1 ! ess5tial f\ndation to :i* all good ?+s may be add$4 ,to a woman ^: love = dress is alli$ to ! ?ir/ = p]fection 9 t bran*1 untid9ess is m ?an di/a/eful4 ,if 8extra0 hair mu/ be worn1 x %\ld be mod]ate 9 quantity1 ( ! be/ quality & mo/ skilfully arrang$4 ,face p[d]1 c>elessly put on1 makes a woman look ridicul\s4 ,an op5 placket is view$ by a fa/idi\s woman z some?+ l disgrace4 ,brok5 %oe-laces1 gaps betwe5 belt & skirt1 soil$ neckwe>1 crook$ness 9 ! arrangem5t ( g[ns & o!r evid5ces ( c>eless dress+ are abhorr5t to h]4 ,neatness1 fre%ness & suitability 9 ! w>drobe are m important items ?an elaboration & co/4 ,! p]son :o sugge/s ^! desirable qualities 9 ! mann] ( h] attire1 :e!r %e has a l>ge or a small am\nt ( money to be exp5d$ 9 clo!s1 is sure to pres5t an agreeable appe>ance4 ,if to ^! qualities %e adds a sc5t = novelty & /yle1 %e may hope to be1 z f> z clo!s are conc]n$1 8v sm>t inde$40 ,if beyond ?is %e h ! arti/'s gift1 %e may make h]self bett] ?an 8sm>t10 %e may be beautiful4 ,sid5ote3 ,,m9or ,,po9ts ,,9 ,,dress ,"o m9or po9t3 ! h&k]*ief1 :5 n 9 actual use1 %\ld be invisible4 ,x is a concession to nature1 & to c>ry x 9 ! h&1 tuck x 9 ! belt or up ! sleeve is prov9cial4 ,a muff or a p>ty bag ( da9ty texture may s]ve to hide x 9 lieu ( a pocket4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,haphaz>d ,,dress+ ,at wom5's p>ties 9 ?is c\ntry "o sees a v>iety ( co/umes n all suit$ to ! occasion4 ,! ho/ess at a lun*eon may we> a :ite l+]ie dress1 "o ( h] gue/s w be 9 a %irt-wai/ co/ume1 a second 9 :ite sat9 & ! re/ 9 quiet silks or 9 elegant *iffon wai/s & clo? or velvet skirts4 ,! picture is spoil$ by ?is haphaz>d dress+4 ,! majority 7 correctly attir$ b ! %irt-wai/ & ! :ite sat9 7 equally wrong4 ,! ho/ess :o kn[s t any "o ( h] gue/s may be compell$ to dress ) exceptional pla9ness w help to make t p]son com=table by we>+ a quiet g[n h]self4 ,except at v intimate affairs x is wis]1 h[ev]1 to decl9e an invitation ?an to make an emb>rass+ly poor appe>ance4 ,at aft]noon receptions "o (t5 sees ! ho/ess & h] assi/ants 9 elaborate g[ns1 :ile _m ( ! call]s are 9 tailor$ /reet co/ume4 ,?is aga9 spoils ! picture4 ,if a woman expects to att5d aft]noon affairs %e %\ld h an aft]noon g[n4 99 99 99 99 99 ,highly poli%$ f+]-nails ( a l5g? to sugge/ claws1 are bad =m ?\gh "o sees !m on wom5 :o ought to "k bett]4 ,! nails %\ld be c>efully fil$--n trimm$--to a %ape only slightly po9t$1 !y %\ld %[ ! pretty half-moon at ! base & may be> a slight poli% b no artificial color+4 ,to keep ! half-moon pla9ly visible1 g5tly pu% back ! sc>f-sk9 at ! base ( ! nail daily ) an orange-wood /ick4 ,a little cold cream rubb$ 9 nightly ar\nd ! edges ( ! nails is a great help4 ,no %>p in/rum5t %\ld ev] be us$ to clean ! nails4 ,! orange-wood /icks are be/ adapt$ to ?is purpose4 ,p]oxide w remove /a9s4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,a ,,^w ,,on ,,gloves ,sude gloves are s(t] 9 appe>ance & m elegant ?an ! glac ones1 b z !y soil m quickly & clean less readily !y %\ld n be attempt$ by wom5 ( limit$ means4 ,a delicately color$ glove is m arti/ic ) _m co/umes ?an a pure :ite "o1 b "h aga9 practicability mu/ be c\nt$1 z ! light-color$ glove w seldom clean well & ! :ite "o does4 ,a woman :o mu/ c>efully consid] ! co/ ( h] dress+ w1 if %e is clev]1 plan mezzo-t9t$ co/umes :i* are arti/ic & becom+ & :i* d n dem& light or :ite gloves4 99 99 99 99 99 ,transp>5t bl\ses t display ! "u-clo?+ are bad =m4 ,if v %e] mat]ial is us$1 a special slip %\ld be worn "u ! bl\se4 ,v ?9 hose are equally objectionable4 ,p]fume ( any sort is n[ taboo beyond ! elusive sc5t ( lav5d] or violet sa*ets 9 "o's dress] draw]s1 or a da% ( toilet wat] 9 ! ba?4 ,sid5ote3 ,,dress+ ,,= ,,*ur* ,"o's dress at *ur* %\ld inv>iably be quiet4 ,?is is prescrib$ n only by ta/e b by consid]ation = o!rs :o may be pres5t & :o may be ( m limit$ means4 ,a *ur* is ( all places ! "o 9 :i* to avoid excit+ envy by co/ly app>el4 99 99 99 99 99 ,"o ( ! mi/ak5 ideas held by wom5 :o are j becom+ s5sitive to effects 9 dress is t ev]y?+ %\ld mat*4 ,! result 9 su* cases if n positively bad is usually dull & monoton\s4 ,! woman :o we>s ) h] blue suit a blue hat ) a blue fea!r & a blue veil1 a blue wai/ & blue gloves & %oes1 is a nightm>e4 ,a black hat1 an cru veil1 gray gloves p]haps--9 ^! ways relief & v>iety mu/ be obta9$4 ,9 *oos+ colors1 ! sk91 hair & eyes %\ld all be consid]$4 ,x is an explod$ idea t brunettes %\ld cl+ to br[n4 ,mu* dep5ds on ! complexion4 ,,*apt] ,,xvi ,,mak+ ,,& ,,receiv+ ,,gifts ,,w$d+ gifts may be s5t any "t aft] ! w$d+ c>ds are issu$4 ,!y are s5t to ! bride1 & may be z exp5sive & elaborate1 or z simple & inexp5sive1 z ! means ( ! s5d] make prop]4 ,an invitation to a *ur* w$d+1 & n to ! reception1 precludes ! necessity ( mak+ a w$d+-pres5t4 ,inde$ ! matt] ( w$d+-pres5ts admits ( m fre$om ea* ye> & _m p make x a rule to s5d gifts only to intimate fri5ds & relatives4 ,p]haps ?is /ate ( affairs has be5 br\ght ab\t by ! fact t among a c]ta9--or unc]ta9--class1 invitations 7 sometimes issu$ ) ! special purpose ( call+ =? a numb] ( pres5ts1--9 fact1 = rev5ue only4 ,few p]sons ackn[l$ge ?is ( !mselves1 b sometimes a bride 0 met :o 0 s indiscreet or s void ( ta/e z to confess h] hope t all ! p]sons :om %e invit$ to h] nuptials w\ld be repres5t$ by remembrances 9 gold1 silv]1 jewelry or nap]y4 ,! p5dulum has swung z f> 9 ! opposite direction1 & few] w$d+ gifts ?an ( old are s5t f polit5ess alone4 ,suitable gifts = a bride are silv]1 cut-glass1 table l951 pictures1 books1 h&some *airs or tables1 rugs1 bric--brac & jewelry4 ,9 fact1 any?+ = ! new home is prop]4 ,x is n cu/om>y to s5d we>+ app>el1 except :5 ?is is giv5 by "s memb] ( ! bride's family4 ,a *eck made out to ! bride is always a h&some gift4 ,! p>5ts ( ! wife-to-be frequ5tly give ! small silv]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,m>k+ ,,! ,,silv] ,h[ %\ld ! silv] be m>k$8 is sometimes ask$4 ,good =m dem&s t if ! donor wi%es to h 8 gift m>k$1 x mu/ be engrav$ ) ! bride's maid5 initials4 ,"s p]sons are s ?\ghtful t !y s5d silv] ) ! reque/ t x be return$ aft] ! c]emony by ! bride = m>k+ z %e sees fit4 ,%e !n returns x to ! firm f :i* x 0 b\ght1--said firm hav+ receiv$ an ord] f ! donor to engrave x accord+ to ! own]'s wi%es4 ,/ill1 if silv] mu/ be giv5 m>k$1 x is safe to h ! initials ( ! bride put ^u x4 ,ev5 %\ld %e die1 good ta/e & conv5tionality w\ld =bid ! use ( h] silv] by ! second wife1--%\ld !re be "o4 ,:ile on ?is melan*oly side ( ! subject x w\ld be well to /ate t :5 a wife dies1 leav+ a *ild1 & ! husb& rem>ries1 h] silv] is pack$ away = ! *ild's use 9 future ye>s4 ,?is is dem&$ by cu/om & conv5tionality4 ,?is rule is especially to be reg>d$ if ! *ild be a girl1 z %e !n has a "r to ! "m's silv]1 m>k$ ) t "m's "n4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,ackn[l$g+ ,,gifts ,a w$d+ gift is accompani$ by ! donor's c>d1--usually enclos$ 9 a small c>d-envelope4 ,z soon z possible1 ! bride-to-be writes a p]sonal lett] ( ?anks4 ,?is mu/ be cordial1 & 9 ! fir/ p]son1 some:at 9 ?is =m3 8#dbe ,c$> ,t]race1 ,milton1 ,pa4 8,my ,de> ,mrs4 ,hamilton3 8,! beautiful picture s5t by ,mr4 ,hamilton & y\rself has j arriv$1 & ,i ha/5 to ?ank y = y\r k9d ?\ght ( me4 ,! subject is "o ( :i* ,i am especially fond1 & ! picture w d mu* t[>d mak+ attractive ! walls ( our little home4 ,x w always s]ve to rem9d ,mr4 ,all5 & myself ( y & ,mr4 ,hamilton4 8,gratefully y\rs1 8,m>y ,br[n4 8,june n9ete5?1 n9ete5 hundr$ & five40 ,if a gift arrives s late t x c n be ackn[l$g$ be=e ! w$d+1 ! wife mu/ write z soon z possible aft] ! c]emony1--ev5 dur+ ! fir/ days ( h] honeymoon4 ,to neglect to d ?is is an unp>donable rud5ess4 99 99 99 99 99 ,! w$d+ gifts may be display$ 9 a room by !mselves on ! w$d+-day1 b mu/ n be accompani$ by ! c>ds ( ! donors4 ,9 spite ( argum5ts pro & con1 x is c]ta9ly 9 bett] ta/e to remove ! c>ds be=e ! exhibition4 ,if !re are s _m pres5t t !re is any dang] ( ! bride's =gett+ f :om ! diff]5t articles came1 let "s memb] ( ! family keep a li/1 or take an inv5tory1 be=e ! c>ds are tak5 (f4 ,"s p]sons atta* to ea* gift a t9y slip ( pap] be>+ a numb]4 ,9 a little book is a correspond+ numb] aft] :i* is writt5 ! "n ( ! s5d]4 ,! rules t apply to w$d+-pres5ts apply also to ! gifts s5t at w$d+ anniv]s>ies1 be !y wood51 t91 cry/al1 silv] or gold5 anniv]s>ies4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,engagem5t ,,gifts ,engagem5t pres5ts are frequ5tly s5t to ! fiance1 b ?is is entirely a matt] ( ta/e or incl9ation1 & is n dem&$ by fa%ion or conv5tionality4 ,contributions to l95 %[]s may be includ$ among ! engagem5t gifts4 ,! fa%ion ( su* 8%[]s0 is ephem]al1--a fact n to be regrett$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,:at ,a ,,man ,,may ,,give ,a ^w or m is n out ( place conc]n+ ! k9d ( gifts t a "y man may make ) propriety to a "y woman ) :om he is on agreeable t]ms4 ,fl[]s1 books1 c&y1--^! are gifts t he may make )\t (f5se1 & %e may receive )\t undue or unpleasant s5se ( obligation4 ,if he be an old & intimate fri5d ( h] family1 he may (f] h] small tr9kets1 or ornam5tal1 semi-useful articles1 su* z a c>d-case1 or a bonbonnire4 ,any?+ int5d$ solely = use is proscrib$4 ,if a "y man is engag$ to a "y woman ! possible *oice ( gifts is1 ( c\rse1 mu* enl>g$4 ,ev5 !n1 h[ev]1 v exp5sive gifts are n desirable4 ,!y less5 some:at ! *>m ( ! relation betwe5 ! two4 99 99 99 99 99 ,:5 a baby is born1 ! fri5ds ( ! happy "m s5d h] "s article = ! new arrival4 ,x may be a da9ty dress or flannel skirt1 a cloak1 cap or t9y bit ( jewelry4 ,^! gifts ! "y "m is n suppos$ to ackn[l$ge until %e is /rong en\gh to write lett]s )\t fe> ( we>9ess4 ,z a rule "s memb] ( h] family writes 9 h] /ead1 express+ ! "m's ?anks4 ,:5 a baby is *ri/5$1 x is cu/om>y = ! sponsors to make ! little "o a pres5t4 ,?is is usually a piece ( silv]1--z a cup1 a b[l1 m>k$ ) ! *ild's "n2 or a silv] spoon1 knife & =k may be giv54 ,! godp>5ts give z a rule1 some?+ t w prove durable1 or a gift t ! *ild may keep all 8 life1 r ?an an article ( we>+ app>el4 ,a gue/ invit$ to a *ri/5+ p>ty may br+ a gift1 if he wi%es to d s4 ,?is may be any?+ t fancy dictates4 ,a pretty pres5t = su* an occasion is a 8,record0 or 8,baby's ,biography10 h&somely b\nd & illu/rat$1 conta9+ blanks = ! little "o's weight at bir? & ea* succe$+ ye>1 = ! record ( 8 fir/ too?1 ! fir/ ^w utt]$1 ! fir/ /ep tak51 & s on1 z well z spaces = ! ins]tion ( a lock ( ! baby-hair1 progressive photographs1 & o!r trifles de> to ! "m's he>t4 ,all *ri/5+ gifts may be orally ackn[l$g$ by ! "m :5 ! gue/ pres5ts !m4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,*ri/mas ,,gifts ,! cu/om ( mak+ ,*ri/mas pres5ts is s univ]sal t x w\ld seem sup]flu\s to (f] any sugge/ion ) reg>d to !m1 _h n ! de> old cu/om be5 s abus$ t ! lov]s ( ,*ri/mas mu/ utt] _! prote/4 ,x %\ld be borne 9 m9d t ! only ?+ t makes a ,*ri/mas gift wor? :ile is ! ?\ght t accompanies x4 ,:5 x is giv5 because policy1 habit or conv5tionality dem&s x1 x is a desecration4 ,if we mu/ make any pres5ts f a s5se ( duty1 let x be on bir?days1 on w$d+-days1 on o!r anniv]s>ies1--nev] on ! anniv]s>y ( ! ,great ,gift to ! ,_w4 ,if ! _s ( good w to man does n prompt ! giv+1 t giv+ is 9 va94 ,nor %\ld a pres5t at ?is "t be s5t simply because "o expects to receive a rem9d] 9 ! %ape ( a pres5t f a fri5d4 ,a quid pro quo is n a true ,*ri/mas remembrance4 ,sid5ote3 ,,to ,,prev5t ,,duplication ,let u suppose !n1 t ! mak+ ( holiday pres5ts is a pleasure4 ,to simplify matt]s we w\ld sugge/ t ^? :o h a l>ge circle ( fri5ds to :om !y rejoice to give pres5ts reta9 ov] to ano!r ye> ! li/ made ! ye> previ\s4 ,n only w ?is keep 9 m9d ! p]son :om !y w\ld rememb]1 b x w prev5t duplicat+ pres5ts4 ,"o woman le>n$ to h] dismay t = two ye>s %e _h s5t ! same picture--a favorite ) h]--to a de> fri5d1 :ile ano!r s5t a fri5d silv] button-hooks = ?ree consecutive ,*ri/mases4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,s9c]e ,,gratitude ,all gifts1 ^? ( ! holiday season includ$1 %\ld be promptly ackn[l$g$1 & nev] by a c>d m>k$ 8,?anks40 ,if a pres5t is wor? any ackn[l$gm5t1 x is wor? c\rte\s notice4 ,:5 "o says 8,?ank y60 ei!r v]bally or by lett]1 x %\ld be utt]$ ) s9c]ity1 & f ! he>t4 ,to omit ! expression ( cordial gratitude is a brea* ( good bre$+4 ,,*apt] ,,xvii ,,ba*elor ,,hospitality ,,! day is pa/ :5 ! ba*elor is suppos$ to h no home1 no mode ( ent]ta9+ 8 fri5ds1 no l>es & p5ates1 & no 8a9 fireside40 ,he is n[ an indep5d5t h\sehold]1 keep+ h\se if he *oose to d s1 ) a corps ( effici5t s]vants1 presid$ ov] by a compet5t h\sekeep]1--or1 9 a simpl] mann] hav+ a small ap>tm5t ( 8 own1 att5d$ by a mans]vant or maid1 if he takes 8 meals 9 8 ap>tm5t4 ,(t5]1 h[ev]1 he pref]s to disp5se ) h\sekeep+ c>es & live 9 a t9y ap>tm5t ( two or ?ree rooms1 go+ out to a re/aurant = 8 meals4 ,he is !n ! mo/ indep5d5t ( creatures4 ,if he c af=d to h a man to take c>e ( 8 rooms & 8 clo!s1 well & good4 ,if n1 he pays a woman to come 9 regul>ly to clean 8 ap>tm5t1 & %e takes *>ge ( 8 b$-mak+ & du/+ or1--if he be v deft1 sy/ematic & indu/ri\s1--he does ?is k9d ( ?+ himself4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,ba*elor',s ,,tea ,9 any ( ! cases j cit$ he is at lib]ty to ent]ta94 ,he may h an aft]noon tea1 or a reception1 or an aft]-!at] *af+-di% supp]4 ,unless he has 8 own suite ( d9+-room1 kit*5 & butl]'s pantry1 he c n s]ve a regul> meal 9 8 rooms4 ,b !re are _m in=mal1 ,bohemian affairs to :i* he c invite 8 fri5ds4 ,= ! aft]-!at] supp]1 = in/ance1 he may engage a man to assi/ him & to h ev]y?+ 9 read9ess :5 ! ho/ & 8 p>ty arrive at ! ap>tm5t4 ,! ho/1 himself1 w prep>e ! *af+-di% da9ty1 & ) ?is may be pass$ articles suppli$ by a ne>-by cat]]1 su* z s&wi*es1 ices & cakes4 ,he may make 8 own c(fee 9 a ,vi5na c(fee-pot4 ,! :ole proce$+ is delightful1 in=mal & ,bohemian 9 ! be/ s5se ( ! ^w4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a s9e qua non to all ba*elor ent]ta9+ is a *ap]on4 ,! m>ri$ woman c n be disp5s$ ) on su* occasions4 ,! ho/ may be gray-head$ & old en\gh to be a gr&fa!r _m times ov]1 b1 z an unm>ri$ man1 he mu/ h a *ap]on = 8 wom5 gue/s4 ,if he object to ?is1 he mu/ reconcile himself to ent]ta9+ only ^? ( 8 own sex4 ,! age ( ?is ess5tial app5dage to ! social p>ty makes no diff]5ce1 s long z ! prefix 8,mrs40 is atta*$ to h] "n4 ,%e may be a bride ( only a few weeks' /&+1--b ! fact t %e is m>ri$ is ! ess5tial4 ,sid5ote3 ,,engag+ ,,! ,,*ap]on ,! ho/1 !n1 fir/ ( all1 engages 8 *ap]on1--ask+ h] z a favor to assi/ him 9 8 hospitable ef=ts4 ,%e %\ld accept graci\sly1 b ! man w %[ by 8 mann] t he is honor$ by h] und]tak+ ?is (fice = him4 ,%e mu/ be promptly at 8 rooms at ! h\r m5tion$1 z x w\ld be ! height ( impropriety = "o ( ! "y wom5 to arrive !re be=e ! matron4 ,if %e pref] %e may accompany a bevy ( ! girls invit$4 ,to h] ! ho/ def]s1 f h] he asks advice1 & to h] he pays special def]5ce4 ,if !re is tea to be p\r$1 z at an aft]noon function1 x is %e :o is ask$ to d x1 & %e may1 ) a pretty air ( assum+ responsibility1 manage affairs some:at z if 9 h] own home1 /ill rememb]+ t %e is a gue/4 ,9 ?is matt] tact & a k ( ! ways ( ! _w play a l>ge "p4 ,! *ap]on is b\nd to rema9 until ! la/ girl takes h] dep>ture1 aft] :i* x is q en rgle = ! ho/ to (f] 8 escort1 unless %e accompanies ! la/ gue/1 or a c>riage be await+ h]4 ,! ho/ ?anks h] cordially = h] k9d (fices1 & %e 9 turn expresses h]self z honor$ by ! complim5t he has paid h]4 ,sid5ote3 ,,invit+ ,,! ,,gue/s ,p]haps ! simple/ =m ( ent]ta9m5t = ! unm>ri$ man to give 9 8 own qu>t]s is ! aft]noon tea 9 "s ( its v>i\s =ms4 ,= ?is function ! man mu/ n issue c>ds1 b mu/ write p]sonal notes1 or ask 8 gue/s orally4 ,he may invite sev]al fri5ds :o w supply music4 ,if he h "s fri5d :o is especially gift$ musically1 & :om he w\ld gladly br+ be=e ! eyes ( ! public1 he may make ! pres5ce ( ?is fri5d an excell5t reason = ?is aft]noon reception4 ,aft] hav+ secur$ ! *ap]on's acceptance he may write "s su* note z ! foll[+3 8,my de> ,miss ,br[n3 8,i %all be delight$ if y1 ) a few o!r *oice spirits1 w take tea ) me 9 my ap>tm5t next ,tuesday aft]noon ab\t f\r o'clock4 ,i %all h ) me at t "t my fri5d1 ,mr4 ,frank ,m]rill1 :o s+s1 ,i ?9k1 pass+ well4 ,i want my fri5ds :o appreciate music & to :om 8 voice w give pleasure to he> him 9 my rooms at ! "t m5tion$4 ,d come6 8,h5ry ,b>b\r4 8,augu/ ! t5?1 #aije40 ,!re %\ld1 if possible1 be a maid1 or a man 9 liv]y to att5d ! door1 b1 if ?is is n practicable1 & ! affair be v in=mal1 ! ho/ may himself admit 8 gue/s1 & escort !m to ! door :5 !y leave4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,s]v+ ,,! ,,refre%m5ts ,! only refre%m5ts necess>y are ?9 bread & butt]1 & "s da9ty s&wi*es1 small cakes & tea ) sug>1 cream & ?9 slices ( lemon4 ,^! ?+s are arrang$ ^u a prettily set table 9 "o corn] ( ! room1 & are presid$ ov] by ! *ap]on1 :o also1 :5 ! opportunity af=ds1 moves ab\t among ! gue/s1 *att+ to ea* & all z if %e 7 9 h] own draw+-room4 ,if ! man has sev]al rooms1 "o may be op5$ z a dress+-room 9 :i* ! wom5 may lay _! wraps4 ,! m5 gue/s may leave _! coats & hats on ! hall table or rack4 ,:5 ! gue/s dep>t x is pretty & def]5tial = ! ho/ to ?ank ! wom5 = mak+ 8 ap>tm5t bright & attractive = ! aft]noon4 ,x is always well = a man to %[ by 8 mann] t 8 woman gue/ has honor$ him by h] pres5ce4 99 99 99 99 99 ,an ev5+ reception may be conduct$ 9 a simil> way1 b at ?is "t c(fee & *ocolate take ! place ( tea4 ,or1 if ! ho/ pref]1 he may s]ve only cake & c(fee1 or pun*1 or ices 9 addition to ! cake & c(fee4 99 99 99 99 99 ,if a ba*elor be also a h\sehold] to ! ext5t ( runn+ a regul> mnage1 he may give a d9n] 9 8 home j z a woman might4 ,he fir/ engages 8 *ap]on1 !n invites 8 gue/s4 ,! *ap]on is ! gue/ ( honor1 is tak5 out to d9n] by ! ho/ & sits at 8 "r4 ,x is also h] place to make ! move = ! wom5 to leave ! m5 to _! cig>s & c(fee1 & proce$ to ! draw+-room4 ,"h1 aft] a v few m9utes1 ! wom5 are jo9$ by ! m5 or1 at all ev5ts1 by ! ho/1 :o may1 if he l1 give 8 m5 gue/s p]mission to l+] 9 ! d9+-room a little long] ?an he does4 ,!y w1 h[ev]1 n take long advantage ( ?is p]mission1 b1 at ! expiration ( five or t5 m9utes1 w foll[ _! ho/ to ! draw+-room4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,re/aurant ,,supp] ,! man :o c n ent]ta9 9 8 own rooms may return any hospitality %[n to him by giv+ a supp] or d9n] at a re/aurant or hotel4 ,9 ?is case he mu/ /ill h a *ap]on1--if ! p>ty is to be made up ( unm>ri$ p]sons4 ,= su* an affair z ?is he engages 8 table & ord]s ! d9n] be=eh&1 see+ = himself t ! fl[]s & decorations *os5 are j :at he wi%es4 ,x is 8 place to escort ! *ap]on to ! re/aurant & to seat h] at 8 "r4 ,ev]y?+ is s p]fectly conduct$ at well-regulat$ re/aurants t ! c\rse ( ! d9n] w progress )\t ! ho/'s conc]n+ himself ab\t x4 ,if1 h[ev]1 ! ho/ wi%es to give an ord]1 he %\ld beckon to a wait]1 & 9 a l[ tone make ! necess>y sugge/ion or give ! requisite ord]4 ,x is1 at su* a juncture1 ! "p ( ! *ap]on to keep ! conv]sational ball roll+1--9 %ort1 to act z if %e 7 ho/ess4 ,! d9n] ov]1 ! ho/ escorts 8 gue/s z f> z ! door ( ! re/aurant1 go+ to ! v>i\s c>riages ) ! wom51 !n calls up ! *ap]on's c>riage &1 himself1 accompanies h] to h] home4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,ba*elor ,,d9n] ,at a ba*elor d9n] ! ho/ may provide corsage b\quets = ! ladies & b\tonnires = ! m54 ,x is also a pretty complim5t = him to s5d to ! *ap]on at 8 aft]noon or ev5+ reception1 fl[]s = h] to we>4 ,b ?is is n ess5tial1 & is a complim5t t may be disp5s$ ) 9 ! case ( a man :o mu/ consid] ! small economies ( life4 ,( c\rse1 no d9n] call is made on ! ba*elor ent]ta9]4 ,x is h>dly wor? :ile to sugge/ t ! wom5 :om he has honor$ make a po9t ( soon invit+ him to _! homes4 ,9 ?is day !re is little ne$ to rem9d wom5 ( ! att5tions !y may ) propriety pay to an eligible & unatta*$ man4 ,,*apt] ,,xviii ,,! ,,visitor ,,an invitation to visit a fri5d 9 h] home mu/ always be answ]$ promptly4 ,! invit$ p]son %\ld ?9k s]i\sly be=e accept+ su* an invitation1 &1 un=tunately1 "o ( ! ?+s %e has to consid] is h] w>drobe4 ,if ! ho/ess has a sup]b h\se1 & ! gue/ is to be "o ( _m1 all weal?y except h]self1 all h&somely g[n$ except h]self1 & if %e w feel l an ,engli% sp>r[ 9 a flock ( birds ( p>adise1 %e w\ld bett] ackn[l$ge ! invitation1 ) gratitude1 & /ay at home4 ,if %e does g1 let h] det]m9e to make no apologies = h] appe>ance1 b to accommodate h]self to ! ways ( ! h\sehold %e visits4 ,"o woman1 visit+ 9 a h&some home1 0 di/ress$ to ! po9t ( weep+ by ! fact t1 on h] arrival1 h] ho/ess' maid came to ! gue/'s room & unpack$ h] trunk = h]1 putt+ ! cont5ts 9 bureau-draw]s & w>drobe4 ,x w\ld h be5 bett] =m if ! visitor _h tak5 :at seem$ to h] an innovation z a matt] ( c\rse1 & express$ nei!r *agr9 nor di/ress at ! k9dly-meant & cu/om>y att5tion4 ,if1 !n1 our invit$ p]son1 aft] tak+ all ?+s into consid]ation1 decides to accept ! invitation s5t h]1 let h] /ate j :5 %e is com+1 & g at t "t4 ,( c\rse %e w make h] plans agree ) ^? ( h] future ho/ess4 ,! exact tra9 %\ld be nam$1 & ! s*$ule set mu/ n be deviat$ f4 99 99 99 99 99 ,x may be said "r "h t no "o %\ld make a visit un9vit$4 ,few p]sons w\ld d ?is1--b "s few h be5 guilty ( ?is brea* ( etiquette4 ,"o ne$ n always wait = an invitation f an intimate fri5d1 nor memb] ( "o's family ) :om "o c nev] be de trop1 b1 ev5 !n1 "o %\ld1 by telegram or telephone1 give notice ( "o's com+4 ,if ,i c\ld1 ,i w\ld make a rule t no "o %\ld pay an unexpect$ visit ( sev]al days' duration4 ,if "o mu/ g un9vit$1 "o %\ld give ! prospective ho/s ample notice ( ! int5d$ visit1 begg+1 at ! same "t1 t "o may be notifi$ if ! sugge/$ plan be inconv5i5t4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,be ,,prompt ,,& ,,def9ite ,:5 a lett] ( invitation is accept$1 ! acceptance mu/ n only be prompt1 b mu/ cle>ly /ate h[ long "o int5ds to /ay4 ,x is emb>rass+ to a ho/ess n to "k :e!r h] gue/ means to rema9 a few days or _m4 ,z w be se5 9 ! *apt] on 8,! ,visit$10 ! ho/ess c d mu* to obviate ?is unc]ta9ty by ask+ a fri5d = a visit ( a specifi$ l5g?4 ,b1 9 accept+1 ! gue/ mu/ also say h[ long %e w rema94 ,an invitation %\ld be receiv$ gratefully4 ,9 few ?+s does bre$+ %[ m ?an 9 ! mann] ( ackn[l$g+ an invitation to a fri5d's h\se4 ,%e :o asks ano!r to be a memb] ( h] h\sehold = ev5 a %ort "t is pay+ ! p]son ask$ ! greate/ honor x is 9 h] p[] to conf]1 & x %\ld be appreciat$ by ! recipi5t4 ,he :o does n appreciate ! honor impli$ 9 su* an invitation is unmann]ly4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,always ,,arrive ,,on ,,"t ,an invitation once accept$1 no?+ b su* a s]i\s cont+5cy z illness mu/ prev5t "o's fulfill+ ! engagem5t4 ,"o mu/ nev] arrive ahead ( "t4 ,once 9 ! home ( a fri5d ! gue/ makes h]self z mu* a memb] ( ! h\sehold z possible4 ,! h\rs ( meals mu/ be asc]ta9$1 & promptness 9 ev]y?+ be ! rule4 ,to lie 9 b$ aft] "o is call$1 & to appe> at ! breakfa/ table at "o's own sweet w1 is (t5 an inconv5i5ce to ! ho/ess1 & ! cause ( vexation & discont5t on ! "p ( ! s]vants1 = :i* discont5t ! ho/ess--n ! gue/--pays ! p5alty4 ,unless1 !n1 ! latt] is told expressly t ! h\r at :i* %e desc5ds to ! fir/ meal ( ! day is truly ( no consequ5ce 9 ! h\sehold1 %e mu/ come into ! breakfa/-room at ! h\r nam$ by ! mi/ress ( ! h\se4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,duties ,,( ,a ,,gue/ ,on ! o!r h&1 "o %\ld n come d[n a half-h\r be=e breakfa/ & sit 9 ! draw+-room or libr>y1 ?us keep+ ! maid or ho/ess f du/+ ^! rooms & sett+ !m to rights4 ,! consid]ate gue/ w /ay 9 h] own room until breakfa/ is ann\nc$1 !n desc5d imm$iately4 ,if ! wea!r is fair1 %e may1 ( c\rse1 walk 9 ! gr\nds close to ! h\se4 ,if amusem5ts h be5 plann$ = ! gue/1 %e w d h] be/ to enjoy !m1 or1 at all ev5ts1 to %[ gratitude = ! k9d int5tions 9 h] behalf4 ,%e mu/ resolve to ev9ce an int]e/ 9 all t is done1 &1 if %e c n jo9 9 ! amusem5t1 give evid5ce ( an appreciation ( ! ef=ts t h be5 made to ent]ta94 ,! gue/ mu/ rememb] t ! ho/s are do+ _! be/ to please h]1 & t out ( ord9>y humanity1 if n civility1 gratitude %\ld be %[n & express$ = ^! endeavors4 99 99 99 99 99 ,if ! ho/ess be a busy h\sewife1 :o has _m duties ab\t ! h\se :i* %e mu/ p]=m h]self1 ! visitor may occasionally try to 8l5d a h&0 by du/+ h] own room or mak+ h] own b$4 ,if1 h[ev]1 %e is discov]$ at ^! tasks1 & obs]ves t ! ho/ess looks worri$1 or objects to ! gue/ ?us ex]t+ h]self1 x is ! true/ c\rtesy n to repeat ! ef=ts to be ( assi/ance4 ,x di/urbs "s h\sewives to "k t a visitor is p]=m+ any h\sehold tasks4 99 99 99 99 99 ,x is safe to say t a gue/ %\ld g home at ! "t set unless ! ho/ess urges h] to d o!rwise1 or has "s excell5t reason = wi%+ h] to *ange h] plans4 ,to rema9 beyond ! "t expect$ is a great mi/ake1 unless "o kn[s t x w be a g5u9e conv5i5ce to ! ho/s to h "o /ay4 ,! old say+ t a gue/ %\ld n make a ho/ twice glad has s\nd common s5se z its basis4 ,if a visitor is p]suad$ to ext5d h] visit1 x mu/ be only = a %ort "t1 & %e mu/ h]self set ! limit ( ?is /ay1 at :i* "t no?+ mu/ 9 any way be all[$ to det] h] f tak+ h] dep>ture4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,necessity ,,= ,,tact ,! visitor 9 a family mu/ ex]cise tact 9 _m ways4 ,above all %e mu/ avoid any p>ticipation 9 little discussions betwe5 p]sons 9 ! family4 ,if ! fa!r takes "o side ( an argum5t1 ! "m ! o!r1 ! wise gue/ w keep sil5t1 unless "o or ! o!r appeal to h] = confirmation ( 8 or h] ass]tions1--9 :i* case %e %\ld smil+ly say t %e w\ld r n express an op9ion1 or laugh ! matt] (f 9 su* a way z to *ange ! curr5t ( ! conv]sation4 ,ano!r ?+ t a gue/ mu/ avoid is reprov+ ! *ildr5 ( ! h\se 9 ev5 ! milde/1 g5tle/ way4 ,%e mu/ also resi/ ! impulse to make an audible excuse = a *ild :5 he is reprim&$ 9 h] pres5ce4 ,to d ei!r ( ^! ?+s is a brea* ( etiquette4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,week-,,end ,,p>ty ,if %e be s =tunate z to be invit$ to a h\se-p>ty or a week-end p>ty1 %e %\ld accept or decl9e at once1 t ! ho/ess may "k = h[ _m p to provide rooms4 ,= su* an affair "o %\ld take h&some g[ns1 z a good deal ( fe/ivity & dress is cu/om>y among ! jolly gr\p ?us br\ght toge!r4 ,a d9n] or ev5+ g[n is ess5tial1 & if1 z is cu/om>y1 ! h\se-p>ty be giv5 at a c\ntry-home1 ! visitor mu/ h a %ort walk+-skirt & walk+-boots1 z well z a c>riage co/ume4 ,once a memb] ( a h\se-p>ty1 ! rule is simple en\gh4 ,d z ! o!rs d1 & ent] ) a w on all ! ent]ta9m5t provid$ by ! ho/ & ho/ess = ! p>ty4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,"q ,,( ,,tips ,if y make a visit ( any l5g? y mu/ n fail1 if y are conv5tional1 to leave a little money = ea* s]vant :o has1 by h] s]vices 9 any capacity1 contribut$ to y\r com=t4 ,?is w1 ( c\rse1 include ! maid :o has c>$ = ! b$room1 & ! waitress4 ,by "o ( ^! s]vants s5d some?+ to ! cook1 & a message ( ?anks = ! good ?+s :i* %e has made & y h enjoy$4 ,! laundress ne$ n be inevitably rememb]$1 unless %e has done a little wa%+ = y2 /ill1 :5 "o consid]s ! extra b$ & table l95 to be wa%$1 x is z well to leave a half doll> = h] also4 ,! am\nt ( su* fees mu/ be det]m9$ by ! l5g? ( "o's purse2 & mu/ nev] be s l>ge z to appe> lavi% & unnecess>y4 ,a doll>1 if y c af=d x & h made a visit ( any l5g?1 w be suffici5t = ea* maid4 ,! coa*man :o drives y to ! tra9 mu/ receive ! same am\nt4 ,!re is1 "o is glad to say1 an occasional h\sehold 9 :i* ! idea ( tips is reg>d$ z contr>y to ! _s ( true hospitality4 ,9 su* homes ! mi/ress h]self sees t ! s]vants receive extra pay = ! extra "w entail$ by gue/s1 & ! hotel atmosph]e sugge/$ by tipp+ is =tunately done away )4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,bread-,,&-,,butt] ,,note ,aft] ! gue/ has return$ to h] own home1 h] duties t[>d h] rec5t ho/s are n at an end until %e has writt5 :at is slangily kn[n z 8! bread-&-butt] lett]40 ,?is is simply a note1 tell+ ( "o's safe arrival at "o's de/9ation1 & ?ank+ ! ho/ess = ! pleasant visit "o has _h4 ,a few l9es are all t etiquette dem&s1 b x requires ^!1 & decrees t !y be despat*$ at once4 ,to neglect to write ! lett] dem&$ by ^? tw9 si/]s1 ,conv5tionality & ,c\rtesy1 is a grave brea* ( ! etiquette ( ! visitor4 99 99 99 99 99 ,hospitality z a duty has be5 writt5 up f ! beg9n+ ( human life4 ,! obligations ( ^? :o1 9 qua9t old ,engli% phrase1 8gue/50 ) neighbors1 or /rang]s1 h _h s little att5tion x is no wond] !y are lightly consid]$1 9 comp>ison4 ,we he> mu* ( m5 :o play ! ho/ royally1 & ( ! p]fect ho/ess4 ,if hospitality be reckon$ among ! f9e arts & moral virtues1 to 8gue/50 aright is a sav+ social grace4 ,:]e t5 excell5t ho/s are f\nd we are =tunate if we meet "o gue/ :o kn[s 8 bus9ess & does x4 ,! consci\sness ( ?is neglect$ fact prompts u to write 9 connection ) our c>d9al virtue ( giv+1 ( :at we mu/ p]=ce co9 a ^w to def9e z 8,gue/ly ,etiquette40 ,we h said else:]e t ! fir/1 & (t5times a humiliat+ /ep1 9 ! acquisition ( all k1 f mak+ a pudd+ to gov]n+ an empire1 is to le>n h[ n to d x4 ,two-?irds ( ! p :o 8gue/50 ) u nev] get beyond ! initiatory /ep4 ,sid5ote3 ,,gue/s ,,are ,,n ,,bo>d]s ,! writ] ( ?is page c\ld give f memory a li/ t w\ld cov] pages ( foolscap1 ( p :o call$ !mselves well-br$ & :o 7 9 ! ma9 well-mean+1 :o h deport$ !mselves 9 hospitable homes z if !y 7 regi/]$ bo>d]s 9 a hotel4 ,settle )9 y\r own m9d1 9 ent]+ y\r fri5d's doors1 t :at y receive is n to be paid = 9 doll>s & c5ts4 ,! ?\ght w deprive y at once ( ! "r to compla9 or to criticize4 ,?is %\ld be a self-evid5t law4 ,x is s f>1 h[ev]1 f be+ self-evid5t t x is violat$ e day & 9 scores ( homes :]e ref9em5t is suppos$ to regulate social usages4 99 99 99 99 99 ,tak+ at r&om illu/rations t cr[d 9 on memories ( my own exp]i5ces1--let me draw into l9e ! di/+ui%$ cl]gyman :o always br\ght 8 own bread to ! table1 in=m+ me t my hot muff9s 7 8rank poison to any rightly-appo9t$ /oma*02 ano!r man1 equally di/+ui%$ 9 ano!r pr(ession1 :o summon$ a *amb]maid at elev5 o'clock at night to drag 8 b$ across ! room t he might lie due ea/ & we/2 an au?or :o nev] w5t to b$ until two o'clock 9 ! morn+1 & compla9$ s\rly at breakfa/ "t t 8y\r s]vants1 madam1 bank$ up ! furnace fire s e>ly t ! h\se got cold by midnight02 ! popul> musician :o in=m$ me 8y\r piano is horribly out ( tune02 ! man & wife :o 8c\ldn't sleep a w9k because !re 0 a mosquito 9 ! room02 ! em95t juri/ :o sat out an ev5+ 9 ! libr>y ( my c\ntry-h\se ) 8 hat on because 8! room 0 drafty02--ah6 my fell[ h\semo!rs c mat* e in/ance ( ! lack ( ! gue/ly consci5ce by /ories f _! own repositories4 ,sid5ote3 ,,annoy+ ,,famili>ities ,! gue/ :o is told to consid] himself z "o ( ! family kn[s ! invitation to be a figure ( polite spee* z well z he :o says x kn[s x to be an empty =m4 ,"o man ,i wot ( s+s & :i/les 9 ! halls & ^u ! /airs ( 8 ho/'s h\se to %[ h[ joyfully he is at home4 ,ano!r /ret*es himself at l5g? ^u ! libr>y s(a1 & smokes ! cig> ( peace 7to himself7 at all h\rs1 an a%-cup ^u ! floor )9 easy di/ance4 ,a ?ird helps himself to 8 ho/'s cig>s :5ev] he likes )\t say+ 8by y\r leave40 ,ea* may fancy t he is foll[+ out ! hospitable int5tions ( 8 ent]ta9]s :51 9 fact1 he is selfi%ly oblivi\s ( gue/ly duty & propriety4 ,"o :o has giv5 ! subject m ?an a pass+ ?\ght might suppose x unnecess>y to lay d[n to well-br$ read]s 8,laws = ,table ,mann]s ,:ile ,visit+40 ,yet1 :5 ,i saw a man ( excell5t l9eage1 & a univ]sity graduate1 ?ump 8 empty tumbl] on ! table to attract ! att5tion ( ! waitress1 & he>d him a few m9utes lat] call out to h] 8,butt]--please60 ,i wi%$ t ! /udy ( su* a manual _h be5 includ$ z a regul> c\rse 9 ! college curriculum4 ,a true anecdote recurs to me "h t may soo! national pride ) ! k t ! solecisms ,i h describ$ & o!rs t h n add$ to ! travel$ ,am]ican's reputation = bre$+1 are n conf9$ to our side ( ! ocean4 ,sid5ote3 ,,engli% ,,frankness ,"l & ,lady ,b----1 names famili> "s ye>s back to ! /ud5ts ( ! 8high-life0 columns ( our pap]s1 7 at a d9n] p>ty 9 ,new ,york ) an acqua9tance ( m9e :o pa9t$ ! sc5e = me4 ,lady ,b----1 ta/+ h] s\p z soon z x 0 set d[n 9 front ( h]1 calls to h] husb& at ! o!r end ( ! table3 8,b----1 my de>6 ,don't eat ?is s\p6 ,x is q fil?y6 ,!re are tomatoes 9 x60 ,we ,am]icans are less brutally frank ?an our ,engli% c\s9s4 ,yet ,i ?\ght ( ,lady ,b---- la/ week :5 my vis--vis1--a slim1 pretty1 accompli%$ matron ( ?irty1 or !reab\ts--at an admirably-appo9t$ family d9n]1 accept$ a plate ( s\p1 ta/$ x1 laid d[n h] spoon & did n t\* x aga91 repeat+ ! action ) an entre1 & ) ! dess]t ( pea*es & cream4 ,%e did n grimace h] di/a/e ( any "o ( ! ?ree articles ( food1 x is true1 be+1 ?us f>1 bett]-mann]$ ?an our titl$ vulg>ian4 ,9 effect1 %e impli$ ! same ?+ by ta/+ ( ea* portion & decl9+ to eat m ?an ! t5tative m\?ful4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,self-,,discipl9e ,to sum up our table ( rules3 ,be?9k y\rself1 f y\r entrance to y\r exit f y\r ho/'s h\se1 ( ! sure way ( add+ to ! com=t & pleasure ( ^? :o h honor$ y by invit+ y to soj\rn "u _! ro(-tree4 ,if possess$ ( ! true _s ( hospitality1 !y w f9d t pleasure 9 promot+ y\rs4 ,le>n f !m & be n "o :it beh9d !m 9 ! good "w4 ,if !y propose any especial =m ( amusem5t1 fall 9 ) _! plans readily & cordially4 ,y may n enjoy a /ately drive ?r\gh du/y roads beh9d fat family horses1 or a tramp ov] bri]y fields ) ! ho/ess :o is addict$ to b]ry+ & botaniz+--b g z if t 7 ! exact b5t ( ta/e & desire4 ,a d9n] p>ty1 made up ( m5 :o talk bus9ess & no?+ else1 & _! ov]-dress$ wives1 :o revel 9 ! discussion ( :at ,mrs4 ,%]wood calls 8,! ,?ree ,dreadful ,d's0--,disease1 ,dress & ,dome/ics--may typify to y ! acme ( bor$om4 ,comport y\rself z if y 7 9 y\r native elem5t & happy !re4 ,! self-discipl9e w be a means ( grace 9 m ways ?an "o4 ,sid5ote3 ,,nev] ,,%[ ,,bor$om ,on ,sunday accompany y\r ho/s to _! place ( wor%ip ) ! same *e]ful read9ess to l :at !y l4 ,y may be a high *ur* ,episcopalian & !y belong to ! broade/ w+ ( ,unit>ians or ! /raite/ sect ( ,evangelicals4 ,put prejudice & p]sonal pref]5ce beh9d y & f9d consolation 9 ! s]5e conviction ( gue/ly duty done--& done 9 a truly ,*ri/ian _s4 ,,*apt] ,,xix ,,! ,,visit$ ,,x has be5 said1--& ) an un=tunate am\nt ( tru?1 t ! graci\s old-fa%ion$ art ( hospitality is dy+ out4 ,^? :o keep op5 h\se f ye>'s end to ye>'s end1 f ^: doors ! lat*-/r+ floats 9 ! breeze1 ready = ! f+]s ( any fri5d :o w grasp x1 are few4 ,! 8ent]ta9+0 t is done n[ does n comp5sate u = ! loss ( :at may be call$ ! 8lat*-/r+-out0 cu/om ( ! days gone by4 ,lun*eons1 teas1 d9n]s1 c>d-p>ties1 receptions & ! l1 fill ! days ) engagem5ts & hold our eyes wak+ until ! morn+ h\rs1 b ?is is a k9d ( :olesale hospitality z x 71 & done by contract4 ,su* affairs rem9d "o ludicr\sly ( ! irreligi\s & hi/oric f>m]-boy :o1 rem9isc5t ( 8 fa!r's long-w9d$ 8grace be=e meat10 sugge/$ :5 !y salt$ ! pork = ! w9t] t he 8say grace ov] ! :ole b>rel0 & pay (f a disagreeable obligation all at "o "t4 ,sid5ote3 ,,s]vants ,,& ,,gue/s ,p]haps if our ho/ess 7 frank %e w\ld ackn[l$ge a simil> desire :5 %e s5ds out c>ds by ! hundr$s & fills h] draw+-rooms to ov]fl[+ ) gue/s1 scores ( :om c>e to come ev5 less ?an %e c>es to h !m4 ,b !re seems to be a cr$it & debit acc\nt kept1 & once 9 s (t5 x is incumb5t on ! society woman to 8give some?+40 ,flori/s & cat]]s are call$ to h] aid1 &1 ) wait]s & assi/ants hir$ = ! occasion1 take ! "w ( prep>ation = ! ent]ta9m5t (f my lady's h&s4 99 99 99 99 99 ,9 speak+ ( hospitality 9 ?is *apt]1 we ref] especially to ! ent]ta9+ ( a visitor = "o1 or _m days 9 ! home4 ,n long ago we made a po9t ( ask+ sev]al h\sekeep]s :y !y did n invite fri5ds to visit !m4 ,?ree out ( f\r int]view$ on ! subject agre$ t ! s]vants 7 ! ma9 drawback4 ,! f\r? woman1 :o 0 9 mod]ate circum/ances1 confess$ t %e did n want gue/s unless %e c\ld 8ent]ta9 !m h&somely40 ,to obviate ! fir/-m5tion$ difficulty1 e h\sekeep] %\ld1 :5 engag+ a s]vant1 decl>e boldly t %e receives h] fri5ds at w1 9 h] home1 & h t fact und]/ood f ! outset ( ,bridget's or ,gret*5's c>e] ) h]4 ,at ! same "t %e %\ld rememb] t extra "w %\ld mean extra pay or its equival5t 9 help4 ,x is a/oni%+ h[ inconsid]ate _m wom51 o!rwise k9dly1 are 9 _! relation to dome/ic s]vants4 ,z to ! reason giv5 by ! f\r? h\sekeep]1 x is too contemptible to be consid]$ by a s5sible woman4 ,our gue/s come to see u = ourselves1 n = ! beauty ( our h\ses1 or = ! elegance ( our mann] ( liv+4 ,! woman ^: h\se is clean & furni%$ z h] means p]mit1 :o sets h] table ) ! be/ t %e c provide = h] own de> ones1 is always prep>$ = company4 ,!re may be times :5 ! unlook$-= com+ ( a gue/ is an inconv5i5ce4 ,x %\ld nev] be ! cause ( a mom5t's mortification4 ,only pret5se1 & seem+ to be :at "o is n1 ne$ cause a s5sation ( %ame4 ,if a fri5d comes1 put ano!r plate at ! table1 & take him into ! sanctum sanctorum--! home4 ,) su* a welcome ! simple/ home is dignifi$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,meet+ ,,! ,,gue/ ,b z to ! invit$ gue/4 ,! ho/ess kn[s :5 %e wi%es to receive h] fri5d1 &1 9 a cordial invitation1 /ates ! exact date ^u :i* %e has decid$1 giv+ ! h\r ( ! arrival ( tra9s1 & say+ t %e or "s memb] ( h] family w meet ! gue/ at ! /ation4 ,"o :o has ev] arriv$ at a /range locality1 8unmet10 kn[s ! peculi> s9k+ ( he>t caus$ by ! neglect ( ?is simple duty on ! "p ( ! ho/ess4 ,! lett] ( invitation %\ld also /ate h[ long ! visitor is expect$ to /ay4 ,?is may be easily done by writ+--8,w y come to u on ! tw5ty-fir/ & /ay = a week80 or1 8,we want y to make u a =tnight's visit1 com+ on ! fifte5?40 ,if "o c hone/ly add to an invitation1 8,we hope t y may be able to ext5d ! "t set1 z we want to keep y z long z possible10 x may be done4 ,if n meant1 ! ins9c]e phrase is inexcusable4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,gue/ ,,*amb] ,elaborate prep>ations %\ld be avoid$--prep>ations t we>y ! ho/ess & try ! temp]s ( s]vants4 ,! gue/-*amb] w be clean1 sweet & da9ty4 ,no matt] h[ compet5t a *amb]maid is1 ! mi/ress mu/ see = h]self t %eets1 pill[-slips & t[els are spotless1 & t !re are no du/y corn]s 9 ! room4 ,a tru/wor?y !rmomet] %\ld hang 9 full view1 t ! gue/ may regulate by x ! temp]ature ( h] room4 ,if ! visitor be a woman1 & fl[]s are 9 season1 a vase ( favorite blossoms w be plac$ on ! dress+-table4 ,! desk or writ+-table w be suppli$ ) pap]1 envelopes1 p5s1 ink1 /amps & a cal5d>4 ,sev]al int]e/+ novels or magaz9es %\ld be )9 rea*4 ,all ^! trifles add to ! home-l feel+ ( ! new arrival4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,let ,,y\r ,,gue/ ,,alone ,a welcome %\ld be cordial & hone/4 ,a ho/ess %\ld take "t to w>m h] gue/'s he>t by tell+ h] t %e is glad1 g5u9ely glad1 to h h] 9 h] home4 ,%e %\ld also d all %e c to make ! visitor =get t %e is away f h] own h\se4 ,all ?is done1 ! gue/ %\ld be let alone6 ,we mean ?is1 /range z x may seem4 ,_m well-mean+ ho/esses annoy gue/s by foll[+ !m up & by insi/+ t !y %all be 8do+ some?+0 all ! "t4 ,?is is almo/ z we>+ & depress+ z neglect w\ld be4 ,ea* p]son wants to be alone a "p ( ! "t4 ,a visitor is no exception to ?is rule4 ,%e has lett]s to write1 or an int]e/+ book %e wants to read1 or1 if %e ne$s ! re/ & *ange h] visit %\ld br+ h]1 x w be luxury to h] to don a kimono & relax on ! c\* or b$ 9 h] room = an h\r or two a day4 ,! ?\ght t "o's ho/ess is not+ & wond]+ at "o's abs5ce f ! draw+-room1 :]e "o is expect$ to be on exhibition1 is to a n]v\s p]son ak9 to torture4 ,all[ all possible fre$om z to ! h\r = ris+1 provide a c]ta9 am\nt ( ent]ta9m5t = ! visitor 9 ! way ( outdoor ex]cise 7if %e likes x71 call]s1 amusem5ts & s =?1 & !n 7aga97 9 pla9 ,engli%1 let h] alone6 99 99 99 99 99 ,"o mu/ nev] insi/ t a gue/ rema9 beyond ! "t set = h] return1 if ! gue/ decl>es s9c]ely t to rema9 long] is inadvisable4 ,to spe$ ! p>t+ gue/ is an item ( true hospitality4 ,! ho/ess may beg h] to /ay :5 %e feels t ! visitor c conv5i5tly d s1 & :5 h] mann] %[s t %e desires to d s4 ,b :5 ! sugge/ion has be5 firmly & gratefully decl9$1 ! matt] %\ld be dropp$4 ,a gue/ :o feels t %e mu/ return to h] home = bus9ess1 family or private reasons1 is emb>rass$ by ! insi/5ce on ! "p ( h] ent]ta9]s t su* return is unnecess>y4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,a ,,gue/',s ,,exp5ses ,( c\rse1 ! visitor 9 "o's h\se %\ld be sp>$ all possible exp5se4 ,! port] :o br+s ! trunk %\ld be paid by ! ho/1 unless ! gue/ =e/alls him 9 8 hospitable int5tion4 ,c>-f>es1 hack-hire & su* ?+s1 are paid by ! memb]s ( ! family visit$4 ,all ^! ?+s %\ld be done s unobtrusively z to escape1 if possible1 ! notice ( ! p]son ent]ta9$4 ,if a woman h two maids1 ! second maid %\ld1 %ortly be=e ! retir+ h\r1 g to ! gue/'s room1 turn d[n ! cov]s ( ! b$ & provide a pit*] ( fre% dr9k+-wat]4 ,9 ! ev5t ( hav+ "o maid only1 ! ho/ess w p]=m ^! (fices h]self4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,true ,,hospitality ,no matt] :at happ5s--%\ld !re be illness & ev5 dea? 9 ! family--a hospitable p]son w n all[ ! /rang] )9 h] gates to feel t %e is 9 ! way1 or h] pres5ce an inconv5i5ce4 ,!re is no great] cruelty ?an t ( all[+ a gue/ 9 ! home to feel t matt]s w\ld run m smoo?ly 7 %e abs5t4 ,only bett] bre$+ on ! "p ( ! visitor ?an is possess$ by h] ho/ess w prev5t h] leav+ ! h\se & return+ to h] home4 ,%\ld sudd5 illness 9 ! family occur1 ! consid]ate p]son w leave4 ,b ?is mu/ be p]mitt$ only "u prote/4 ,to invite a fri5d to "o's h\se1 & !n seem to f9d h] pres5ce unwelcome is only a degree less cruel ?an conf9+ a bird 9 a cage1 :]e he c n =age = himself1 & sl[ly />v+ him4 ,if "o has n ! hospitable in/9ct develop$ /rongly en\gh to feel ! "r s5tim5t1 let him feign x1 or refuse to attempt to ent]ta9 fri5ds4 ,! p]son "u "o's ro( %\ld be1 = ! "t1 sacr$1 & ! ho/ :o does n feel ?is is altoge!r lack+ 9 ! f9] in/9cts t accompany good bre$+4 ,we "k "o home 9 :i* hospitality is disp5s$ 9 a way no gue/ ev] =gets4 ,f ! "t ! visitor ent]s ! doors ( ?is ,h\se ,beautiful %e is1 z x 71 enwrapp$ 9 an atmosph]e ( lov+ consid]ation impossible to describe4 ,"o gue/1 visit+ !re ) h] *ildr51 0 horrifi$ at _! be+ tak5 sudd5ly ill ) grippe1--s ill t to travel ) !m j !n 0 dang]\s4 ,%e 0 hundr$s ( miles away f home ) ! possibility ( ! *ildr5's be+ conf9$ to ! h\se = "s days to come4 ,! physician summon$ confirm$ h] fe>s4 ,! di/ress$ "m knew only too well :at an inconv5i5ce illness is1--especially 9 a fri5d's h\se in/ead ( 9 "o's own home4 ,sid5ote3 ,,an ,,ideal ,,ho/ess ,all ! memb]s ( ! h\sehold unit$ 9 mak+ ! disconc]t$ woman feel t ?is home 0 ! "o & only place 9 :i* ! little ones %\ld h be5 seiz$ ) ! prevail+ epidemic2 t x 0 a pleasure to h !m !re "u any circum/ances2 t to wait on !m & _! "m 0 a privilege4 ,! sweet-voic$1 sweet-fac$ ho/ess1 h]self an invalid at ?is "t1 drew ! anxi\s visitor d[n on ! b$ beside h] & kiss$ h] z %e said3 8,de> *ild6 try to believe t y & y\rs are z welcome "h z 9 y\r own de> "m's home40 ,surely ( su* is ! ,k+dom ( ,heav56 ,,*apt] ,,xx ,,hospitality ,,z ,a ,,duty ,,if ours 7 a p]fect /ate ( society1 con/ruct$ on ! ,gold5 ,rule1 animat$ & guid$ ?r\gh\t by unselfi% love = fri5d & neighbor1 & *>ity = ! ne$y1 !re w\ld be no propriety 9 writ+ ?is *apt]4 ,home1 dome/ic com=t & happ9ess be+ our be/ e>?ly possessions1 we w\ld be eag]ly will+ to %>e !m ) o!rs4 ,z society is con/ruct$ "u a /ate ( artificial civilization1 & z our homes are kept & our h\seholds are run1 ! elem5t ( duty mu/ int]f]e1 or hospitality w\ld become a lo/ art4 ,ev5 :]e ! _s ( ?is--"o ( ! mo/ v5]able ( virtues--is n want+1 consci5ce is call$ 9 to regulate ! mann] & ! seasons 9 :i* x %\ld be ex]cis$4 ,z a corn]-/one1 assume1 once = all1 t a b9d+ obligation re/s on y to visit1 & to receive visits1 & to ent]ta9 fri5ds1 acqua9tances & /rang]s 9 a /yle consi/5t ) y\r means1 at su* times z may be consi/5t ) m s]i\s engagem5ts4 ,hav+ once issu$ an invitation1 y are sacr$ly b\nd on ! day nam$ to give y\rself completely to y\r gue/s4 ,to invite p to d9n] & !n ask !m to leave e>ly 9 ord] t "o may accept an invitation t "o has receiv$ 9 ! meantime1 w\ld seem impossible to a woman ( "r in/9cts--b x has be5 done1 at lea/ by wom5 ( social prom95ce4 ,sid5ote3 ,,return+ ,,c\rtesies ,x may s\nd h>% to ass]t t y h no "r to accept hospitality = :i* y c nev] make any return 9 k9d4 ,! pr9ciple is1 nev]!less1 s\nd to ! core4 ,^? :o read ! newspap]s =ty ye>s ago w recall a *>act]i/ic incid5t 9 ! e>ly life ( ,colonel ,ellswor?1 ! brilliant "y lawy] :o 0 "o ( ! fir/ notable victims ( ! ,civil ,w>4 ,8 /ruggles to ga9 a foo?old 9 8 pr(ession 7 att5d$ by _m h>d%ips & humiliat+ privations4 ,once1 f9d+ ! man he 0 look+ = on a matt] ( bus9ess1 9 a re/aurant1 he 0 invit$ to p>take ( ! lun*eon to :i* 8 acqua9tance 0 j sitt+ d[n4 ,ellswor? 0 rav5\sly hungry1 almo/ />v+1 9 fact1 b he decl9$ c\rte\sly b firmly1 ask+ p]mission to talk ov] ! bus9ess t _h br\ght him ?i!r1 :ile ! o!r w5t on ) ! meal4 ,! brave "y fell[1 9 tell+ ! /ory 9 aft] ye>s1 confess$ t he suff]$ positive agony at ! sight & smell ( ! tempt+ food4 ,sid5ote3 ,a ,,reciprocat+ ,,_s 8,i c\ld n1 9 honor1 accept hospitality ,i c\ld n reciprocate10 0 8 simple explanation ( 8 refusal4 8,i might />ve1 ,i c\ld n sponge60 ,spong+--to put x pla9ly--is paup]ism4 ,! "o :o eats ( y\r bread & salt becomes1 9 8 own eyes--n 9 y\rs--y\r debtor4 ,= ! v g5ius ( hospitality is to give1 n expect+ to receive aga94 7,?is by ! way67 ,i d n mean if y\r weal?y acqua9tance invites y to a fifte5-c\rse d9n]1 ! co/ ( :i* equals y\r mon?ly income1 t y are 9 honor or duty b\nd to bid h] to an ent]ta9m5t z elaborate1 or t y suff] 9 h] e/imation1 or by ! loss ( y\r self-respect4 ,b by ! acceptance ( ! invitation y b9d y\rself to reciprocation ( "s sort4 ,if y c d no?+ m1 ask y\r ho/ess to aft]noon tea 9 y\r own h\se or flat1 & h a few cong5ial spirits to meet h] !re4 ,x is ! _s 9 su* a case t makes alive & keeps alive ! g5ial gl[ ( good w & cordial fri5dl9ess4 ,! lett] ( comm]cial obligation1 l = l1 9 degree1 & n 9 k9d1 w\ld kill true hospitality4 99 99 99 99 99 ,y\r fri5d's fri5d1 introduc$ by him & call+ on y1 has a prov$ claim on y\r social (fices4 ,if y c n make a special ent]ta9m5t = him1 ask him to a family d9n]1 expla9+ t x is su*1 & make up 9 k9dly welcome = ! lack ( lordly *e]4 ,if x be a woman1 invite h] to lun*eon ) y & a fri5d or two1 or to a drive1 w9d+ up ) aft]noon tea 9 "s ( ! quietly elegant tea-rooms t seem to h be5 devis$ = ! express use ( p ( g5]\s impulses & sl5d] purses4 ,x is n ! co/ 9 co9 ( ! realm t tells ) ! /rang]1 b ! temp] 9 :i* ! tribute is (f]$4 ,sid5ote3 ,,ent]ta9+ ,,! ,,/rang] 8,i d n #8ent]ta9' 9 ! s5se 9 :i* ! ^w is g5]ally us$10 wrote a di/+ui%$ woman to me once1 he>+ t ,i 0 to be 9 h] neighborhood4 8,b ,i c n let y pass me by4 ,come on ,?ursday1 & lun* ) me1 en tte--tte40 ,i accept$ gladly1 & ! memory ( t meal1 elegant 9 simplicity1 %>$ ) "o :om my s\l delights to honor1 is z an apple ( gold set 9 a picture ( silv]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,! /rang]1 z su*1 has a ,scriptural claim on y1 :5 circum/ances make him y\r neighbor4 ,9 ?\s&s ( homes s9ce ! day :5 ,abraham ran f 8 t5t-door to con/ra9 ! ?ir/+ & hung]+ travel]s to accept su* re/ & refre%m5t z he c\ld (f] !m dur+ ! heat ( ! day1 angels h be5 ent]ta9$ unaw>es 9 ! guise ( /rang]hood4 ,sid5ote3 ,,poetic ,,ju/ice 8,did y "k ! ,b----'s be=e !y came to our t[n80 ask$ an inquisitive ,new ,engl&] ( "o ( h] ne> neighbors4 8,no40 8,!n--y won't m9d my ask+ y8--:y did y invite !m to d9n] on ,?anksgiv+ ,day8 ,x's made a deal ( talk40 ,abraham's disciple smil$4 8,because !y 7 /rang]s1 & seem$ to be lonely4 ,!y are respectable1 & !y live on my /reet40 ,poetical ju/ice requires me to add t ! ,b----'s1 :o became ! lifelong fri5ds ( _! fir/ ho/ess 9 ! /range l&1 prov$ to be p ( di/9ction :om ! be/ citiz5s ( ! exclusive little t[n soon vi$ ) "o ano!r 9 8cultivat+40 ,9 ignorance ( _! antec$5ts ! imitator ( ! t5t-hold] ( ,mamre did h] duty f ! pure/ ( motives4 ,n "o individual or "o family has a moral or a social "r to neglect ! practise ( hospitality4 ,unless "o is conf9$ to ! h\se or b$ by illness1 "o %\ld visit & invite visits 9 return4 ,we are human be+s1 n h]mit crabs4 ,,*apt] ,,xxi ,,! ,,h\se ,,( ,,m\rn+ ,,! obs]vance ( m\rn+ is a difficult matt] to treat1 = individual feel+ ent]s l>gely into ! "q4 ,/ill1 !re are c]ta9 rules accept$ by ^? :o w\ld n be made rem>kable by _! scorn ( conv5tionalities4 ,! matt] ( m\rn+-c>ds & /ation]y has be5 treat$ 9 ! *apt] on 8,calls & ,c>ds10 & on 8,lett]-,writ+40 ,a ^w may "h be add$ ) reg>d to ! lett] ( condol5ce4 ,?is %\ld be writt5 to ! b]eav$ p]son z soon z practicable aft] ! dea? = :i* %e m\rns4 ,x mu/ n be long1 b %\ld express 9 a few s9c]e words ! sympa?y felt1 & ! wi% to d some?+ to help alleviate ! m\rn]'s di/ress4 ,?is lett] does n dem& an answ]1 b "s p]sons try1 "s weeks aft] su* lett]s h be5 receiv$1 to reply to !m4 ,?is is n really necess>y1 except :5 ! writ] is a ne> fri5d ( ! family4 ,9 _m cases1 a black-edg$ c>d be>+ ! words1 8,mr4 & ,mrs4 ---- wi% to ?ank y = y\r k9d sympa?y 9 _! rec5t b]eavem5t10 is mail$ to ! writ]4 ,if "o does n write a lett]1 "o may s5d to or leave at ! h\se ( m\rn+ a c>d1 be>+ ! words1 8,s9c]e sympa?y10 ^u x4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,att5d+ ,a ,,fun]al ,! fun]al notice 9 ! daily pap]s is n[ sometimes accompani$ by ! reque/1 8,k9dly omit fl[]s40 ,to s5d fl[]s aft] ! appe>ance ( su* a notice is ! height ( rud5ess & %[s little respect to ! dead & none = ! family4 ,if !re are m fl[]s ?an c be tak5 to ! cemet]y1 ^? left may be s5t to ! inmates ( hospitals1 :o ne$ n "k t !y 7 int5d$ = a fun]al4 ,^? :o att5d a fun]al %\ld dress quietly1 b !y ne$ n we> black unless !y pref] to d s4 ,:ile few p]sons w\ld be guilty ( att5d+ a fun]al out ( curiosity1 !re are und\bt$ly "s :o d4 ,s5sitive p are gr[+ to realize t ! la/ c]emony = ! dead is too sacr$ to be %>$ except ) ^? :o are really entitl$ by close ties to be pres5t & h signifi$ by p]sonal mess5g] ^? :om !y desir$ %\ld be pres5t4 ,9 att5d+ a fun]al "o %\ld be prompt1 & yet n s f> ahead ( ! h\r set z to arrive be=e ! f9al arrangem5ts are complet$4 ,at a *ur* or h\se fun]al1 "o %\ld wait to be seat$ z ! und]tak] or 8 assi/ant directs4 ,nor %\ld "o ev] l+] aft] ! s]vices to speak to any memb]s ( ! family1 unless "o is p>ticul>ly reque/$ to d s4 ,"o %\ld n expect to look on ! face ( ! dead unless "o is ask$ to d s4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,clos+ ,,! ,,casket ,9 *ur*es ( two d5om9ations x is n cu/om>y to h ! c(f9 op5$ to ! public gaze4 ,x is a pity t ?is law is n univ]sal1 b x is becom+ m common to h ! casket left clos$ ?r\gh ! entire s]vice4 ,x c]ta9ly sp>es ! m\rn]s ! agoniz+ p]iod dur+ :i* ! long l9e ( fri5ds1 & /rang]s :o come f vulg> curiosity1 file pa/ & look on ! un%ield$ features ( ! dead4 ,"s "o has said t ! cu/om ( all[+ ! curi\s :o did n "k ! deceas$1 & :o c>$ no?+ = him1 to gaze on 8 face aft] dea?1 seems to be tak+ an unfair advantage ( ! dead4 99 99 99 99 99 ,_m p]sons pref] a quiet h\se fun]al = "o !y love1 = !re are few p]sons vulg> or bold en\gh to =ce !mselves into ! h\se ( m\rn+1 :]e only ^? :o knew & lov$ ! dep>t$ are welcome4 ,b ! me?od ( p]sonal invitation makes ! pres5ce ( su* p impossible4 ,at a h\se fun]al ! cl]gyman /&s ne> ! head ( ! c(f9 :ile he reads ! s]vice1 ! audi5ce /&+ or sitt+ z ! cu/om ( ! special s]vice us$ dem&s4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,*ur* ,,fun]al ,at a *ur* fun]al1 ! cl]gyman meets ! c(f9 at ! door & prec$es x up ! aisle1 read+ ! burial s]vice4 ,z he beg9s to read1 ! congregation rises & /&s z ! procession moves =w>d4 ,:51 aft] ! s]vices1 ! c(f9 is lift$ by ! be>]s1 ! congregation aga9 rises & rema9s /&+ until ! casket has be5 tak5 f ! *ur*4 ,a private int]m5t1 or "o at ! conv5i5ce ( ! family1 is n[ almo/ univ]sal4 ,unless invit$1 no outsid]1 ev5 if he be a fri5d ( ! family1 w g to ! cemet]y "u su* circum/ances4 99 99 99 99 99 ,aft] ! fun]al1 & :5 "o's fri5ds h begun to realize sorr[1 is ! "t :5 x is ! h>de/ to be>4 ,x is !n t ! sympa!tic p]son may d mu* t[>d bright5+ ! long & dre>y days 9 ! h\se ( m\rn+4 ,fl[]s left at ! door occasionally1 frequ5t calls1 an occasional *e]+ note1 a bright book l5t1 are a few ( ! small c\rtesies t am\nt to actual b5efactions4 ,only ^? :o h _h to le>n to live ) a grief t is almo/ =got by o!rs "k :at su* tok5s ( ?\ghtful sympa?y mean4 ,all :o c\nt !mselves fri5ds %\ld call )9 a mon?1 always tell+ ! maid t if ! ladies d n feel l appe>+ !y are n to d s4 ,sid5ote3 ,a ,,wid[',s ,,dress ,! heavie/ m\rn+ dem&$ by conv5tionality is worn by a wid[1 b ev5 %e is n[ all[$ to disp5se ) ! heavy crape veil4 ,9 its place is ! long veil ( nun's veil+1 :i* is worn ov] ! face only at ! fun]al4 ,) x is a face-veil1 trimm$ ) crape1 & a :ite ru*e or 8wid['s cap0 /it*$ inside ( ! brim ( ! small bonnet4 ,! dress is ( ,h5rietta clo?1 or o!r lu/]less mat]ial1 & may be trimm$ ) crape4 ,black sude gloves & black-bord]$ h&k]*iefs--if ^! are lik$--are prop]4 ,! wid[ seldom disc>ds h] veil "u two ye>s1--"s wid[s we> x always4 ,aft] ! fir/ ye> x is %ort5$4 ,x is a matt] = congratulation t crape1 t mo/ exp5sive1 un:olesome1 p]i%able & in>ti/ic ( mat]ials1 is worn less & less ) ea* pass+ ye>4 ,surely to h to wrap "o's self 9 its /iff & malodor\s folds adds discom=t to grief4 ,x is n[ seldom worn except by wid[s1 al?\gh a daught] may we> x = a p>5t1 a "m = h] *ild4 ,! matt] ( ! m\rn+-veil is "o ea* p]son mu/ settle = h]self1 al?\gh ! /ricte/ foll[]s ( fa%ion deprecate its use = any wom5 except wid[s4 ,"s b]eav$ daught]s & mo!rs we> x1 b n = a long p]iod1 seldom long] ?an six mon?s4 ,m\rn+ = ! memb]s ( "o's imm$iate family may be worn = a ye>1 !n light5$4 ,m\rn+ = a relative-9-law is light5$ at ! end ( ?ree or six mon?s4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,incongru\s ,,m\rn+ ,:ile on ?is subject x w\ld be well to call att5tion to ! fact t "o %\ld ei!r we> conv5tional black1 or no black at all4 ,= a wid[ to we>1 z a well-kn[n woman did rec5tly1 a long veil & gray sude gloves1 bord]s on ! ridicul\s4 ,nor %\ld velvet1 cut jet1 sat9 & lace be donn$ by ^? we>+ ! insignia ( grief4 ,nor are black-&-:ite comb9$ deep m\rn+4 ,!y may be worn :5 ! we$s are light5$1 b n :5 "o is we>+ ! /rictly conv5tional g>b ( dolor4 ,ev5 wid[s may we> all :ite1 b n ) black ribbons1 unless ! heavy black has be5 laid aside = :at may be call$ ! 8second /age0 ( b]eavem5t4 ,at fir/1 all mat]ials ei!r 9 black or :ite1 mu/ be ( dull f9i%4 ,dresses may be ( nun's veil+1 ,h5rietta clo?1 & o!r un%9+ wool fabrics1 or ( dull1 lu/]less silks4 ,simple :ite musl9s1 lawns & mulls are prop]1 b mu/ n be trimm$ ) laces or embroid]$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,m\rn+ ,,= ,,m5 ,= m51 black or gray suits1 black gloves & ties1 & a black b& ^u ! hat1 are prop]4 ,! tie %\ld be ( taffeta or grosgra9 silk1 n ( sat9 or figur$ silk4 ,i w\ld lay especial /ress on ! poor ta/e ( ! rec5t fad ( we>+ a black b& ^u ! sleeve ( a color$ coat4 ,! same rule applies to ! w\ld-be-sm>t "y woman :o sports a n>r[ black /rip ^u ! left arm ( h] tan ra9-coat or walk+-jacket4 ,if %e c n we> conv5tional & suitable m\rn+1 %e w\ld bett] we> none4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,judg+ ,,! ,,b]eav$ ,! matt] ( ! p]iod ( "t 9 :i* a m\rn] %\ld %un society is a subject on :i* "o may hesitate to express an op9ion1 z !re are too _m p]sons ^: views w\ld n co9cide ) ours4 ,9 ?is case1 z 9 o!rs1 "o mu/1 to a c]ta9 ext5t1 be a rule unto "o's self4 ,"o :o is v sad %r9ks naturally f go+ into gay society = ! fir/ few mon?s aft] b]eavem5t4 ,! contra/ ( ! gaiety ) ! m\rn]'s feel+s mu/1 ( necessity1 cause h] pa94 ,to su* a "o we ne$ sugge/ no rules4 ,to ^? less s5sitive or less unhappy1 x w\ld be well to say t deep black & fe/ive occasions d n =m a good comb9ation4 ,:ile "o we>s crape & a long veil "o %\ld %un receptions1 op]a boxes1 teas & all su* places4 ,lat]1 z "o light5s "o's m\rn+1 "o may att5d ! !at]1 small functions & in=mal affairs4 ,ev5 ! v sad may g to ! !at] :5 !y w\ld %r9k f att5d+ an affair at :i* !y w\ld meet /rang]s & :]e !y w\ld be oblig$ to laugh & be gay4 ,aft] ! fir/ few mon?s ( ! conv5tional retirem5t are pa/ ! suff]] mu/ decide = h]self :at %e may & may n d4 ,we w\ld add1 r z a sugge/ion ?an z a law ( etiquette1 t ! onlook] =be> to judge ( ! behavior ( ! rec5tly-b]eav$4 ,! he>t kn[e? its own bitt]ness1 & if t bitt]ness c be sweet5$ by "s g5ial outside influ5ce1 let o!rs hesitate to condemn ! own] ( ! he>t f seek+ t sweetness4 ,^? :om we h lo/1 if !y 7 wor? lov+1 w\ld be glad to "k t our lives 7 n all d>k4 99 99 99 99 99 ,! seemly cu/om foll[$ 9 ,france ( s5d+ to relatives & fri5ds ( ! family a lett] advis+ !m ( a dea? is n1 un=tunately1 kn[n 9 ?is c\ntry1 :]e we1 ) less propriety1 adv]tise our griefs & our gaieties alike 9 ! public pr9ts4 ,,*apt] ,,xxii ,,at ,,table ,,! matt] ) :i* we h especially to d j n[ is ! mann]s ( ! eat]4 ,! table may be simply or elaborately laid1 z circum/ances & ta/e dictate4 ,x goes )\t say+ t e h\sekeep] w h h] bo>d z attractive 9 appe>ance z possible1 & t %e w nev] omit ! b[l or vase ( fl[]s f ! c5t] ( x4 ,if h] purse w n all[ ?is decoration 9 midw9t] %e may sub/itute a pott$ plant or a vase conta9+ a few sprays ( ,engli% ivy1 or w&]+-jew4 99 99 99 99 99 ,! m5 nev] sit d[n until ! wom5 are seat$4 ,ea* man draws out = h] ! *air ( ! woman :o sits next him4 ,ev5 9 ! quiet home-life ?is practise %\ld be obs]v$1 & husb& or son mu/ always draw f ! table ! *air 9 :i* ! wife or "m is to sit1 & rema9 /&+ until %e is seat$4 ,! ho/ is seat$ la/4 ,z soon z all are at ! table ! napk9 is unfold$ & plac$ across ! knees4 ,x ne$ n be op5$ wide1 unless x is a small breakfa/ or lun*eon s]viette4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,c>v+ ,,! ,,roa/ ,if a man und]takes to c>ve game or a roa/ he %\ld le>n to d x well & quietly1 nev] %>p5+ 8 knife to ! annoyance ( 8 gue/s or ris+ f 8 seat = a bett] 8hold40 ,_m wom5 c>ve excell5tly1 b z !re is a feel+ t x is a difficult ?+ to d1 a clev] gue/ :o kn[s 8 ho/ess well1 w sometimes beg leave to take h] place = ! p]=mance ( ?is task4 ,:5 ! ho/ess beg9s to eat1 ! o!rs foll[ h] example4 ,all food mu/ be eat5 sl[ly1 &1 above all1 noiselessly4 ,_m a fa/idi\s p]son has _h h] enjoym5t ( h] s\p spoil$ by ! audible sipp+ ( x by h] vis--vis or h] next neighbor4 ,! s\p %\ld be lift$ f ! plate by an outw>d sweep ( ! spoon1 & tak5 quietly f ! side1 n ! tip1 ( ! spoon4 ,x is bad =m to break bread or crack]s into ! s\p1 & ! plate conta9+ ! liquid %\ld nev] be tipp$ 9 ord] to obta9 e drop ( ! cont5ts4 99 99 99 99 99 ,fi% is n to be t\*$ ) ! knife4 ,!re is reason = ?is4 ,! cutt+ ( "s delicate sea-food ) a /eel knife affects ! flavor ( x1 & r5d]s x less delicate4 ,! fle% is s t5d] t x may be cut ) a silv] =k1 & ?is is ! only implem5t p]mitt$ 9 its manipulation4 ,! same rule applies to salads1 :i* are nev]1 by ! foll[]s ( conv5tionality1 t\*$ ) ! knife4 ,lettuce is1 be=e s]v+1 brok5 into bits ( a conv5i5t size to be c>ri$ to ! m\?4 ,if ?is is n done1 ! eat] %\ld cut x ) ! side ( ! =k1 or fold ea* bit ov] into a conv5i5t size = eat+4 ,sid5ote3 ,,uses ,,( ,,! ,,knife ,x %\ld n be necess>y to rem9d p 9 ?is day t ! knife mu/ only be us$ = ! purpose ( cutt+ food4 ,:5 x has fulfill$ ?is duty1 be+ wield$ by ! "r h&1 ! food be+ held 9 place by ! =k 9 ! left1 ! =k is !n tak5 9 ! "r h&1 & ! knife laid1 ) ! edge turn$ outw>d1 across ! back ( ! plate4 ,x is g5]ally suppos$ t all classes "k ! use ( ! knife1 yet 9 a fa%ionable re/aurant !re rec5tly sat a h&somely-attir$ woman c>ry+ ,fr5* peas to h] m\? ) ! blade ( h] knife4 ,h[ev]1 x is n s long s9ce ,*e/]field gave elaborate directions z to ! prop] way to eat ) ! knife6 8,o!r times1 o!r mann]s60 99 99 99 99 99 ,x is an atrocity to pile sev]al k9ds ( food ^u ! =k1 mold !m into a small m\nd ) ! knife1 & !n 8dump0 ! load into wide-op5 jaws4 ,ea* k9d ( vi& %\ld be lift$1 a small bit at a "t1 ^u ! =k4 ,ma/ication %\ld be absolutely noiseless1 & ! process conduct$ ) ! lips clos$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,bread1 ev5 :5 hot1 may be brok5 (f1 a small piece at a "t1 butt]$ ^u ! plate1 !n eat54 ,all hot bread %\ld be torn op5 or brok5 ) ! f+]s1 nev] cut into bits4 ,to butt] a slice ( bread by lay+ x ^u ! table or1 m disgu/+ /ill1 ^u ! palm ( ! h&1 is a relic ( b>b>ism4 ,at breakfa/ & lun*eon ! small bread & butt] plate1 ) a small knife1 is set at ! upp] left-h& side ( ! place & ! bread %\ld be kept on x4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,h[ ,,to ,,eat ,,fruits ,su* fruits z apples or pea*es are peel$ ) a small silv] fruit knife1 cut into qu>t]s & eat5 ) ! f+]s4 ,oranges are peel$ & !n pull$ ap>t or !y may--at breakfa/--be cut 9 halves & eat5 ) ! aid ( ! %>p-too!d orange spoon4 ,grapes %\ld be eat5 f beh9d ! half-clos$ h& into :i* sk9 & ! se$s !n fall4 ,x is p]missible to use "o's knife to convey salt f "o's individual salt-cell>1 if no t9y spoon = ?is purpose is suppli$4 ,b ! salt %ak] is a mu* m conv5i5t device1 ?\gh 9 damp wea!r ! maid mu/ see t ! salt w 8%ake40 ,a m\?ful mu/ nev] be s l>ge z to make x impossible = ! eat] to speak if a "q be address$ to him :ile he is dispos+ ( x4 ,nor c too great /ress be laid ^u ! duty ( sl[ eat+ & ?or\gh ma/ication ( all k9ds ( food4 ,n only does x add to ! grace ( ! table-mann]s1 b x prev5ts indige/ion4 99 99 99 99 99 ,nev] t\* ! food on ! plate ) ! f+]s1 to pu% x ^u ! =k4 ,if any?+ mu/ be us$ = ?is purpose1 let x be a bit ( bread1 b1 if possible1 disp5se altoge!r ) assi/ance ( any k9d4 ,! =k %\ld be equal to gett+ up all t is absolutely ess5tial1 & com=t does n dep5d ^u secur+ e p>ticle ( meat or vegetables ) :i* ! plate is suppli$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,spoon ,,& ,,! ,,=k ,e ye> ! spoon has few] uses1 & ! =k has m4 ,n[1 :5 x is possible1 dess]ts are tak5 ) ! =k :]e a spoon us$ to be employ$4 ,pie1 cake1 ice-cream & firm pudd+s1 ) all k9ds ( fruit1 are eat5 ) ! =k4 ,"s p]sons hold a =k awkw>dly 9 an up & d[n fa%ion in/ead ( 9 ! prop] graceful horizontal "o4 ,( c\rse ! spoon is /ill ess5tial = semi-solids1 su* z cu/>ds1 creams & jellies4 ,!re are a few ?+s besides breads ( all v>ieties :i* "o is all[$ to eat ) ! f+]s4 ,su* are ,s>atoga *ips1 olives & small bird-bones1--^! la/ to be tak5 da9tily 9 ! f+]tips4 ,x is no long] consid]$ good =m to eat asp>agus ) ! f+]s1 al?\gh "s v well-br$ p]sons /ill d x4 ,x is c]ta9ly an ugly sight to witness "o's opposite neighbor eat+ asp>agus 9 ?is mann]4 ,x is possibly n s unattractive z to see him eat corn f ! cob4 ,b no bett] way ( dispos+ ( ?is la/ vegetable has z yet be5 inv5t$4 ,if corn is s]v$ on ! cob1 ! cob %\ld be brok5 into two or ?ree pieces be=e x is lift$ to ! m\?4 ,if "o is s unlucky z to drop a =k or spoon1 all[ ! maid to pick x up & to br+ a fre% "o1 )\t mak+ any comm5t :atev]4 ,a glass ( w9e ov]turn$1 h[ev]1 dem&s apology & ! hope t ! ho/ess' clo? w n be irrem$iably /a9$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,aft]-,,d9n] ,,c(fee ,at breakfa/1 "o may dr9k c(fee ) sug> & cream1 b :5 black1 or aft]-d9n] c(fee is s]v$ 9 a small cup1 :i* is kn[n z a demi-tasse1 cream %\ld be omitt$4 ,to ask = ?is :5 x is n on ! table is ! height ( rud5ess4 ,"o %\ld le>n to dr9k "o's aft]-d9n] c(fee )\t cream4 ,sug> is1 ( c\rse1 p]missible4 ,!re is s5se 9 ?is dictate ( ,fa%ion1 z 9 _m ( ! o!r rules laid d[n by ?is seem+ly arbitr>y dame4 ,! c(fee tak5 at ! end ( a he>ty meal is int5d$ to act z a 8settl]0 to ! repa/ & to aid ! "w ( dige/ion4 ,?is x does mu* m easily :5 cle> ?an :5 8qualifi$0 ) milk or cream4 ,be=e dr9k+ f a glass ( wat] "o %\ld bru% "o's lips ) ! corn] ( ! napk94 99 99 99 99 99 ,aft] ! salad c\rse at a d9n]1 & be=e ! dess]t is br\ght 91 ! waitress removes ! crumbs f ! table1 us+ a tray or plate & fold$ napk9 = ?is purpose4 ,:5 %e does ?is x is bad =m = ! gue/ to lay 9 ! tray any bits ( bread t may be left at 8 place or to assi/ ! waitress by mov+ 8 glass1 salt-cell>1 or any o!r article t may be left on ! table4 ,a good waitress removes salt-cell>s1 pepp]-cruets & su* articles1 be=e crumb+ ! table1 leav+ only ! glasses at ea* place4 ,x is h] bus9ess to d all ?is s quietly & deftly t ! gue/s are sc>cely consci\s ( x4 ,to fur!r ?is end1 let ! :ole affair be att5d$ to by ! waitress1 & d n seem to notice any lapses on h] "p4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,f+]-,,b[l ,at ! end ( ! meal ! f+]-b[ls are us$4 ,! ends ( ! f+]s are dipp$ 9 ! wat]1 & ! lips t\*$ ) ^!2 !n m\? & h&s are wip$ ^u ! napk9 :i* is left1 unfold$1 at ! side ( ! plate1 if "o is tak+ only "o meal 9 ! h\se4 ,if a long] /ay is expect$1 "o may wat* "o's ho/s to see :at !y d ) _! napk9s1 & foll[ _! example4 ,d9n] ov]1 ! ho/ess makes ! movem5t to rise1 & %e1 ) ! o!r ladies1 proce$s to ! p>lor4 ,!re !y are jo9$ lat] by ! g5tlem54 ,at an in=mal or family d9n]1 ! m5 & wom5 may leave ! table toge!r1 ! m5 /&+ aside to let ! wom5 pass out fir/1 & 9 ! draw+-room cig>s may be light$ by ! m5 aft] !y h ask$ p]mission ( ! wom5 to smoke4 ,all ^! rules ) reg>d to ! company d9n] apply to ! family d9n] z well4 ,"o c n be too c>eful 9 obs]v+ ! laws ( table etiquette 9 ! family circle if "o w\ld be at ease 9 company4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,avoid ,,apologies ,"o w>n+ ,i w\ld give to ! ho/ess or homemak]3 ,d n apologize unless necess>y6 ,if a di% is a signal failure1 say ) an apologetic smile t y regret t su* a ?+ 0 spoil$ 9 ! bak+1 or t y fe> ! meat is v r>e1 &1 unless ! matt] c be rem$i$1 let x g at t4 ,y b emb>rass y\r gue/s & put !m to ! disagreeable necessity ( reassur+ y1 if y dwell ^u ! matt]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,! ho/ %\ld nev] insi/ t "o be s]v$ to any di% aft] x has be5 positively decl9$4 ,to d ?is is a mi/ake no matt] h[ k9dly ! int5tion4 ,!re is an old say+ t "o man's meat is ano!r man's poison4 ,if y\r ho/ insi/s1 h[ev]1 on help+ y aft] y\r refusal1 y mu/ = decorum's sake accept ! food b y ne$ d no m ?an ta/e x4 ,at a =mal d9n] "o is n s]v$ a second "t to any di%1 b at an in=mal d9n]1 :at are call$ 8second helps10 are q p]missible & convey a complim5t to ! ho/ess4 ,:5 a plate is s5t back to ! c>v] = a fre% supply ( meat1 ! knife & =k %\ld be laid side by side ^u x1 n held 9 ! h&1 z "s p]sons insi/4 ,& :5 "o has f9i%$ eat+1 ! knife & =k are laid 9 ! same mann] ^u ! plate1 ! t9es ( ! =k up4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,napk9 ,! napk9 mu/ nev] be tuck$ into ! neck ( g[n or %irt1 nor mu/ x be fa/5$ to ! belt or ! wai/coat button4 ,aft] "o leaves ! nurs]y "o %\ld be able to eat )\t a bib4 ,"o ( ! *>act]i/ics ( a well-appo9t$ h\se is an abundance ( fre% l951 includ+ clean napk9s1 if possible1 at e meal1 c]ta9ly e day at d9n]4 ,a l>ge napk9 = d9n] use is h&some1 b x may be too l>ge = conv5i5ce4 ,no "o wi%es to be smo!r$ by a 8"y table-clo?10 z "s "o has call$ ^! imm5se s]viettes4 ,breakfa/ napk9s are di/9ctly small] ?an d9n] napk9s4 ,sid5ote3 ,,m9or ,,table ,,laws ,at breakfa/ a blue & :ite s]vice is (t5 lik$ & is c]ta9ly pretty4 ,at d9n] ! *9a may be z co/ly z "o c af=d4 ,if ! purse is limit$1 ! pla9 :ite or gold-b& is a good *oice1 mak+ a quietly elegant appe>ance & be+ easily replac$4 ,9 dr9k+ c(fee use ! spoon to /ir x slightly & to sip f1 b nev] leave ! spoon 9 ! cup4 ,:5 a f[l is c>v$ if y\r ho/ asks :i* piece y pref] x is entirely correct to express a pref]5ce1 & inde$ y w probably emb>rass him if y decl9e to d s4 ,a w9e-glass %\ld be lift$ to ! lips by ! /em1 n by ! b[l4 ,a waitress %\ld be caution$ aga9/ ! common practise ( h&+ di%es & p>ticul>ly wat] glasses ) ! ?umb /uck inside ! rim4 ,nev] tip ! s\p plate to get ! la/ m\?ful4 ,! n]v\s habit "s p h ( play+ ) ! silv] or crumbl+ bread on ! clo? looks v bad4 ,arti*okes are brok5 ap>t ) ! f+]s1 ! he>t be+ convey$ to ! m\? on ! =k4 ,"o %\ld sit easily erect at table at a conv5i5t di/ance f ! bo>d4 ,d n sit on y\r sp9e4 ,if y are 9 d\bt z to h[ to proce$ ) any c\rse1 take a cue f y\r ho/ess4 ,eggs1 :5 boil$1 %\ld be s]v$ 9 individual egg cups1 op5$ by lightly crack+ ! top ( ! %ell ) ! knife1 & eat5 f ! %ell by ! aid ( t9y egg spoons4 ,x %\ld g )\t say+ t :5 a di% is pass$1 "o %\ld always take ! portion "o t\*es2 d n presume to make a *oice ( rolls or ( fruit4 ,nev] put salt on ! clo?4 ,to attempt to assi/ ! waitress by ga!r+ toge!r ! articles be=e y1 is a mi/ake4 ,leave t to h]1 & appe> unconsci\s ( h] pres5ce :ile %e is s engag$4 ,to h& a di% across ! table is di/9ctly bad =m4 ,?is habit has be5 designat$ z 8! bo>d+ h\se rea*40 ,,*apt] ,,xxiii ,,9 ,,! ,,home 8,,z a man ?9ke? 9 8 he>t1 s is he10 decl>es ! ,book ( books4 ,& z a man is 9 8 home1 s w he be abroad1 :5 ! 8company mann]0 rubs (f4 ,"o frequ5tly becomes involv$ 9 "s q unexpect$ circum/ance t scrat*es (f ! beautiful surface-color+1 if x be only z deep z ! hue on ! /a9$ wood4 ,sid5ote3 ,,adju/able ,,c\rtesy ,! mann] t "o puts on :5 "o goes into a fri5d's h\se1 or dons :5 "o is 89 company10 is :at may be call$ 8adju/able c\rtesy40 ,if x is n made ( ! be/ mat]ial x seldom fits well4 ,n long ago a fri5d drove ) u by ! h\se ( a man ^: society mann]s1 :5 fir/ se51 call =? admiration4 ,^u ?is p>ticul> spr+ aft]noon1 he sat ^u ! v]&a ( 8 home4 ,z we approa*$1 & he met our glance1 he sprang to 8 feet1 b[$ l[ & rema9$ /&+ until we _h pass$4 8,:at a pretty att5tion to pay to two wom560 we exclaim$4 ,our fri5d gave a significant %rug1 & call$ our notice to ! fact t ! man's wife _h1 be=e we came by1 driv5 up to ! end ( ! v]&a1 & t %e 01 unaid$1 climb+ f a high trap 9 :i* %e & h] two little girls _h be5 driv+1 :ile h] husb& loll$ at ease 9 a /eam] *air4 ,x took ! pres5ce ( a woman :o did n belong to him to br+ him to 8 feet4 ,look+ back1 aft] we _h pass$1 we not$ t he _h aga9 resum$ 8 l\ng+ attitude1 & t 8 wife 0 lift+ ! second *ild f ! c>riage4 ,su* is adju/able c\rtesy6 ,x is n an e-day g>m5t1 & is1 consequ5tly1 worn only to impress /rang]s4 ,no "o c af=d to d ! inju/ice to 8 bett] self ( all[+ himself to become c>eless t[>d ^? ) :om he lives1 or to neglect ! small sweet c\rtesies t %\ld be f\nd 9 ! home1 if any:]e4 ,x is ! home etiquette t makes ! public etiquette :at x %\ld be4 ,?is rem9d] c n be repeat$ too (t54 99 99 99 99 99 ,9 _m h\ses m5 =get to %[ ! respect due to wife1 "m & si/]s4 ,p>5ts %\ld tra9 _! sons to /& :5 a woman ent]s ! room1 & to rema9 /&+ until %e sits d[n4 ,! consid]ate husb& rises & (f]s 8 wife ! easy *air 9 :i* he is seat$4 ,%e1 kn[+ t he is we>y aft] a h>d day at ! (fice1 w n take ! *air1 b %e w appreciate ! little att5tion1 & love him ! bett] = x4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,b>b>\s ,,too?pick ,9 ! talk on table etiquette1 we h t\*$ on _m po9ts1 b n on c]ta9 ?+s t seem too petty to be m5tion$1 z x is n suppos$ t p]sons ( polite bre$+ ne$ to be rem9d$ ( !m4 ,x is only :5 "o looks 9 on ! home-life ( "s s-call$ 8nice0 p t "o feels t p]haps aft] all to call att5tion to ^! po9ts w\ld n be sup]flu\s4 ,"o ( ^! is ! use ( ! too?pick4 ,to wield ?is 9 company is b>b>\s2 to produce x at table is disgu/+4 ,! idea ( hav+ a glass full ( too?picks ^u ! family bo>d is z disagreeably sugge/ive1 & m disgu/+1 ?an w\ld be ! pres5ce ( a b[l ( wat]1 flank$ on "o side by a cake ( soap1 on ! o!r by a wa%-clo?4 ,cleans+ ( all p>ts ( ! body %\ld take place 9 ! privacy ( "o's own ap>tm5t or 9 ! ba?-room4 99 99 99 99 99 ,tipp+ back ! *air at table or 9 company is bad =m4 ,"o small *ild 0 brok5 ( ?is habit :5 %e lo/ h] balance :ile sway+ backw>d f ! table on ! two h9d-legs ( h] *air1 & gave h] head a furi\s bump on ! floor4 ,sobb+1 %e 0 lift$ to h] feet1 & met ! /]n gaze ( h] fa!r4 8,i am v glad10 he said1 8to see t y are badly en\gh hurt to be rem9d$ nev] to tip y\r *air aga94 ,x is rude6 ,if "s gr[n p]sons ,i "k _h receiv$ a simil> lesson 9 *ildhood1 !y might n (f5d ! ta/e ( o!rs z !y n[ d40 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,tak+ ,,salt ,,& ,,butt] ,tak+ butt] f "o's butt]-plate ) ! tip ( a =k t has be5 already 9 "o's m\? is ano!r disagreeable trick4 ,! l may be said ( ! same way ( help+ "o's self to salt4 ,if a small butt]-knife & salt-spoon are n provid$1 ! tip ( ! knife may be us$ 9 _! /ead4 99 99 99 99 99 ,bolt+ food & pu%+ back "o's *air )\t ! prelim9>y & apologetic 8,excuse me60 is ! cu/om ( "s o!rwise e/imable h\sehold]s4 ,x w\ld be bett] to eat less1 if "o's "t be limit$1 & eat sl[ly1 z food ?us tak5 9 a ru% is ( small use 9 ! int]nal economy4 ,a few m\?fuls1 well ma/icat$1 w possibly d m good1 & c]ta9ly produce less discom=t1 ?an ?ree times z mu* swall[$ 9 indige/ible *unks4 ,& aft] ! %ort repa/ has be5 p>tak5 (1 let ! ma/] ( ! h\se set ! example ( common dec5cy by utt]+ ! conv5tional 8,excuse me60 ,sid5ote3 ,,c>+ ,,= ,,! ,,nails ,"o hopes t x w\ld be a difficult matt] to f9d anybody s f> oblivi\s ( ord9>y good mann]s z to clean 8 nails be=e o!rs1 b1 let u blu% to say x6 "o does meet _m m5 :o clean & p>e _! nails 9 ! pres5ce ( family & intimate fri5ds4 ,p]haps x is due to ! fact t a woman does n c>ry a pocket-knife t %e is seldom se5 do+ ?is4 ,h] manicure in/rum5ts are kept ^u h] dress+-table1 & x is 9 h] own room t %e p]=ms ?is v necess>y "p ( h] toilet4 99 99 99 99 99 ,! ugly habit t _m *ildr5 acquire ( bit+ ! nails c be ov]come by requir+ !m to we> gloves until !y ma/] x4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,good ,,ta/e ,,9 ,,spee* ,"y p %\ld be taught t ! "q ( age1 9 g5]al conv]sation1 is taboo$1 t too mu* mann] is z bad z too little1 & t a good mann] is ev5 m to be desir$ ?an good mann]s4 ,!y %\ld be in/ruct$ to say 8,?ank y10 n 8,?anks10 to avoid 8photo10 8auto10 etc41 say+ in/ead 8photograph10 8automobile10 or bett]1 8motor-c>10 or simply 8c>40 8,cr[d10 z 8our cr[d10 is v bad = 8circle10 8set0 or 8gr\p ( fri5ds40 ,a girl %\ld nev] say 8hello10 & no "o %\ld use x at ! telephone4 8,good morn+10 8yes10 8well0 or ! m5tion ( "o's "n are c\rte\s me?ods ( beg9n+ a telephone conv]sation4 8,wai/coat0 is to be pref]r$ to 8ve/40 ,mod]n usage tra9s *ildr5 to say 8,yes1 "m10 8,yes1 ,aunt ,cl>a10 8,no1 ,miss ,smi?10 in/ead ( 8,yes1 ma'am10 8,no1 ma'am10 z ( old4 ,only 9 ! remot] di/ricts ( ! ,s\? does ! e>li] fa%ion survive among gr[n p :]e x mu/ be admitt$ to h a qua9t *>m4 ,:5 a *ild sneezes1 if he is well taught he w say quietly1 8,excuse me40 99 99 99 99 99 ,a rud5ess t a man w p]petrate 9 8 own home1 f :i* he w\ld %r9k 9 ! home ( ano!r p]son1 is t ( we>+ 8 hat 9 ! pres5ce ( wom54 ,e "m %\ld tra9 ! small boy ( ! h\se to remove 8 hat z soon z he ent]s ! front 7or back7 door4 ,to d ?is w !n become second nature1 & x w\ld n be probable t he c\ld ev] be guilty ( ! rud5ess ( /&+ 9 hall or p>lor & talk+ to "m1 si/] or o!r fem99e relative ) 8 hat on 8 head4 ,"o "m at lea/ positively refuses to he> :at h] little son has to say if he addresses h] ) 8 head cov]$4 ,"o may regret t ) old] m5 o!r wom5 h n ! l c\rage ( _! convictions4 ,a man's hat is s easily remov$ we wond] j :y he %\ld leave x on 9 ! h\se1 ev5 if he is go+ out aga9 9 a mom5t4 ,! man ^: c\rtesy is n ( ! adju/able type w n d ?is1 & ^! rem>ks are absolutely sup]flu\s z f> z he is conc]n$4 ,nor w x be necess>y to rem9d him to pick up ! h&k]*ief1 ?imble1 scissors or book t ! woman 9 8 pres5ce lets fall1--ev5 if %e be 8 wife4 ,to assi/ ! fem99e portion ( humanity comes natural to ! ?or\ghbr$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,c\rtesy ,,9 ,,girls ,& j "h ,i w\ld say a ^w to ! "y p]son ( ! s-call$ weak] sex4 ,x is to rem9d h] t %e1 z well z h] bro!r1 owes ! duty ( respect to h] eld]s4 ,%e is too prone to ?9k t ! boys ( ! family %\ld rise = ! old] p1 %\ld rema9 /&+ until p>5ts are seat$1 & %\ld always be ready to run err&s1 or to d5y !mselves = _! s5iors4 ,! duty to d all ^! ?+s is incumb5t on ! girl or woman 9 ! pres5ce ( ^? :o are h] eld]s or sup]iors4 ,! girl or "y matron :o recl9es 9 an easy *air1 :ile h] gr&p>5t1 "m1 fa!r1 or woman-gue/ /&s1 is z guilty ( rud5ess z h] bro!r w\ld be 7 he to d ! same4 ,x is n on ! m5 alone t ! etiquette ( ! home dep5ds4 ,inde$1 x is ! place ( ! "m to see t little lapses 9 good bre$+ are n ov]look$4 ,& %e is ! "o :o %\ld1 by h] unselfi%ness1 h] g5tle c\rtesy1 & unfail+ polit5ess 9 ev5 ! smalle/ items1 %[ =? ! _s ( true k9dness1 on :i* all good mann]s are f\nd$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,cultivat$ ,,voice ,we are all unit$ 9 ?9k+ t a well-tra9$ voice m9i/]s to ! happ9ess ( ^? ab\t 9 a r>e degree4 ,yet x is too infrequ5tly rememb]$ t ! place to cultivate cle> enunciation1 l[ tones & amiable inflections is at home4 ,tea*]s 9 elocution & voice culture may d a l>ge "p 9 br++ out lat5t p[]s1 b ! f\ndation = ! culture ( ! speak+ voice %\ld be laid at home4 ,high %rill voices1 *oppy pronunciation1 a n]v\s speak+ mann] w r5d] unattractive matt] ( a high m5tal quality4 ,mo!rs %\ld beg9 e>ly & "w late on ?is important matt] ( cultivat+ ! voices ( _! *ildr54 ,voice quality & enunciation1 x %\ld be realiz$1 are m important ?an pronunciation4 ,x is n a vital "q :e!r a man pron\nce ! ^w 8exquisite0 ) ! acc5t on ! fir/ or ! second syllable1 b 8*ild]n0 is a vulg>ism1 ?\gh "o he>s x (t54 ,truly ( "o :o uses x1 x may be said1 88 spee* bewraye? him40 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,c>e ,,( ,,books ,respect = books is "o ( ! lessons to be taught 9 a prop]ly regulat$ h\se4 ,& by ?is phrase1 ,i d n mean respect = ! cont5ts4 ,t goes )\t say+4 ,i mean respect = ! prop] c>e ( ^? be/ m9i/]s to m9ds & s\ls4 ,*ildr5 %\ld be taught to h&le books c>efully1 to cut ! leaves prop]ly1 to op5 books )\t break+ ! leaves ap>t at ! back4 ,!y %\ld be in/ruct$ n to soil or to m>k !m & to put !m back 9 place :5 n 9 use4 ,! p]son :o l5ds books may keep a li/ ( !m1 & x is n disc\rtesy if ! volumes l5t are n return$ )9 a reasonable l5g? ( "t to ask = !m4 ,_m p :o are quick to borr[ are c>eless ab\t return+4 ,! /&>d ( e?ics 9 reg>d to return+ books is ) _m p z l[ z ! g5]al /&>d 9 reg>d to ! return ( umbrellas4 ,a book-plate is a great aid to ! possessor ( a libr>y 9 keep+ x toge!r4 ,moreov]1 a pretty book-plate seems to give a t\* ( individuality to "o's volumes4 ,! next be/ ?+ to individual b9d+s & tool$ lea!r is ?is slight] m>k ( id5tity 9 "o's libr>y4 99 99 99 99 99 ,"o ?+ t makes = peace & etiquette 9 ! home is ! recognition ( ! rights ( o!rs4 ,= ?is reason "o memb] ( ! family %\ld nev] inquire into ano!r's correspond5ce1 into 8 engagem5ts1 social or o!rwise1 or ask que/ions ev5 ( 8 ne>e/ & de>e/4 ,! fact t a man is "o ( a family1 e memb] ( :i* is de> to him1 does n mean t he has no individuality1 or t he mu/ %>e ! secrets ( 8 fri5d%ips or bus9ess matt]s ) any "o4 ,he %\ld always feel 9 ! home t any confid5ces he may c>e to give are mo/ welcome1 b t su* confid5ces are nev] dem&$ or expect$4 ,sid5ote3 ,,respect ,,= ,,privacy ,9 recogniz+ ^! rights ( o!rs1 "o mu/ rememb] t ea* p]son's own room is sacr$ to himself4 ,x is inexcusably rude = "o memb] ( a family to ent] ! room ( any o!r memb] )\t fir/ knock+ at ! door & receiv+ p]mission to 8come 940 ,ea* human be+ %\ld feel t he has "o locality t belongs to him1 :]e he c be alone unless he decrees o!rwise4 ,to fur!r ?is end ! wife %\ld knock at h] husb&'s door be=e %e ent]s 8 room1 & ! husb& %\ld %[ h] ! same consid]ation1 :ile bro!rs & si/]s %\ld always give ! w>n+ tap1 :i* is virtually a reque/ = p]mission to ent]1 be=e op5+ ! door t ! occupant ( ! room has clos$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,am]icans are mu* criticiz$ = _! fondness = rock+ *airs4 ,c]ta9ly !re are _m ( u :o %\ld le>n to use !m less viol5tly4 ,! woman :o rocks /eadily back & =? :ile %e is talk+ to h] fri5ds is lack+ 9 ! repose t is an ess5tial elem5t ( *>m4 ,equally bad habits are ! snapp+ & unsnapp+ ( a purse & twi/+ a h&k]*ief or a !at] program into a roll4 ,to hum bel[ ! brea? :5 "s "o else is talk+ is extremely rude1 & n less s :5 any two p are toge!r4 ,sid5ote3 ,,c\rtesy+ ,,= ,,little ,,girls ,= little girls1 ! c\rtesy ( our gr&mo!rs has be5 reviv$4 ,x is c]ta9ly a *>m+ m>k ( respect = !m to %[ to old] p4 ,a c\rtesy t %\ld nev] be omitt$ is ! ask+ ( p]mission to op5 & read lett]s receiv$ :ile "o is 9 conv]sation ) o!rs4 ,*ildr5 %\ld be rigidly in/ruct$ n to ask = delicacies ( food :5 !y are visit+1 o!rwise !y may become a nuisance4 ,! habit *ildr5 (t5 acquire at s*ool1 ( /ick+ _! lead p5cils into _! m\?s to moi/5 !m1 is unhygi5ic & ugly1 & %\ld be brok5 up4 ,,*apt] ,,xxiv ,,9 ,,public ,,! subject ( ?is *apt] is s l>ge t we almo/ despair ( do+ m ?an t\* on a few ( ! _m po9ts x %\ld cov]4 ,p]haps x w\ld be well to give fir/ a few rules = t mo/ public ( places1--! /reet4 ,sid5ote3 ,a ,,man ,,& ,,8 ,,hat ,! "q z to ! etiquette ( rais+ ! hat is "o t dem&s att5tion1--& yet ! rules are simple4 ,a man always uncov]s 8 head completely :5 he returns a woman's b[4 ,he does ! same :5 he meets a man he kn[s walk+ ) a woman1 :e!r %e be kn[n to him or n4 ,:5 a man is walk+ or driv+ ) a woman & %e b[s to a man or woman %e meets1 h] escort lifts 8 hat4 ,on p>t+ ) a woman he b>es 8 head4 ,if he /& & talk ) h]1 he %\ld hold 8 hat 9 8 h& unless %e asks him to cov] 8 head1 or unless ! day be cold1--9 :i* case he says1 8,w y p>don me if ,i put on my hat80 ,!n1 :5 he leaves h]1 he aga9 uncov]s4 ,z a safe rule 9 :i/ is1 8,:5 9 d\bt1 lead trumps10 s a safe rule = a man 9 public w\ld be1 8,:5 9 d\bt1 take (f y\r hat40 ,"s m5 ( f9e feel+ take (f _! hats :5 a fun]al procession passes !m 9 ! /reet1 inde$ 9 ,europe ?is is an e/abli%$ cu/om4 ,9 ! ,s\?1 9 ?is c\ntry1 old-fa%ion$ g5tlem5 sometimes raise _! hats to ea* o!r4 ,abroad1 m5 :o pass wom5 on a /airway inv>iably lift _! hats4 ,9 hotel elevators1 g5tlem5 always take (f _! hats :5 ladies are pres5t1--"s m5 d x 9 all elevators "u ^! circum/ances4 99 99 99 99 99 ,:5 a man meets a woman on ! /reet1 & wi%es to talk ) h] = a mom5t1 he %\ld1 if "t all[1 turn & walk a little way ) h]1 r ?an /op & ?us h9d] h]4 ,if he h a bus9ess engagem5t t makes ?is impossible1 he %\ld apologize = n do+ s1 9 a few words1 z--8,p>don me = n walk+ ) y in/ead ( /opp+ y1 b my tra9 leaves 9 fifte5 m9utes10 or1 8,i h an appo9tm5t 9 t5 m9utes40 ,on a cold day1 :5 a man /&s talk+ ) a woman ) 8 head uncov]$1 %e %\ld say1 8,pray put on y\r hat6 ,i am afraid y w cat* cold40 ,he %\ld acc$e to h] reque/1 say+ 8,?ank y60 z he does s4 ,x is a woman's place to b[ fir/1 :5 %e meets a man4 ,unless !y are old fri5ds1 ! man does n lift 8 hat until he has receiv$ ?is sign ( recognition f a woman4 ,m5 :o 7 call$ on to %ake h&s ) wom5 =m]ly murmur$ an apology = ! glove1 b ?is is no long] cu/om>y4 ,a man waits = a woman to make ! fir/ move to %ake h&s unless he kn[s h] v well4 ,:5 m5 meet ea* o!r on ! /reet !y may recognize ea* o!r z !y please1--by a nod1 a wave ( ! h&1 or by t\*+ ! hat4 ,= a man to t\* 8 hat to a woman is an insult1 unless he be a s]vant--z a coa*man receiv+ an ord] f 8 mi/ress--:5 he ackn[l$ges ! ord] by t\*+ ! brim ( 8 hat ) 8 h&4 ,did m m5 appreciate t !y 7 giv+ ! 8coa*man's salute0 to a woman1 mortification1 if n c\rtesy1 might prev5t a repetition ( ! (f5se4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,on ,,! ,,/reet-,,c> ,:5 a man is a woman's escort & !y bo>d a /reet-c>1 %e %\ld1 )\t comm5t1 all[ him to pay h] f>e4 ,:5 !y get on ! same c> by *ance1 %e %\ld make ! move to pay h] f>e1 b if ! man h&s ! money to ! conductor be=e %e does s1 %e %\ld simply b[ & say 8,?ank y60 ,to dispute ab\t :o %all pay c>-f>e is bad =m4 ,mean+less introductions 9 /reet-c>s or o!r public places are to be avoid$4 ,x is n desirable to br+ two p toge!r 9 su* a place unless "s real purpose is s]v$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,l\ng+ ,,9 ,,public ,wom5 %\ld be c>eful z to ! way 9 :i* !y sit4 ,! woman :o spreads h] knees looks z awkw>d z ! man :o keeps 8 tightly toge!r4 ,rec5tly x became a fad 9 c]ta9 places = wom5 to l\nge 9 ! /reet-c> & to cross "o knee ^u ! o!r4 ,ne$less to say1 really well-br$ wom5 did n foll[ ! fad4 ,ev5 m5 :o h be5 /rictly tra9$ w n cross ! knees :5 call+ on ladies4 99 99 99 99 99 ,:5 all seats are tak5 9 a c> & a woman ent]s1 a g5tleman w rise & give h] 8 seat1 lift+ 8 hat z he does s1 :i* c\rtesy %e %\ld always ackn[l$ge by say+ 8,?ank y60 cordially & audibly4 ,wom5 are mu* criticiz$ = tak+ seats 9 c>s )\t an ackn[l$gm5t ( ! c\rtesy1 &1 und\bt$ly1 !y (t5 d4 ,on ! o!r h&1 m5 z frequ5tly1 by turn+ _! backs1 make ackn[l$gm5t impossible4 ,if ! c> be full & a woman ent]s c>ry+ a baby 9 h] arms1 any girl or "y matron pres5t %\ld resign h] seat to ! burd5$ pass5g]1 unless "s mascul9e pass5g] has manl9ess en\gh to d s4 ,to ! cr$it ( human nature1 be x said t we h nev] se5 a "m ) a *ild 9 h] arms /& = two m9utes1 no matt] h[ cr[d$ ! c> might be4 ,( c\rse a "y woman %\ld resign h] seat to an eld]ly woman1 z %e w d ! same = a v old or infirm man4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,:5 ,,walk+ ,,toge!r ,! cu/om ( a man & a woman walk+ arm 9 arm at night is rapidly fall+ into disuse4 ,= c\ples to walk 9 ?is way 9 ! daylight has n be5 cu/om>y = ye>s1 unless ! woman be s ag$ or invalid$ z to ne$ ! support ( h] escort's arm4 ,n[1 ev5 aft] d>k1 !re is h>dly any ne$ ( a man's arm = a woman's guidance 9 ! brilliantly light$ /reets4 ,if ! c\ple be walk+ ?r\gh a poorly illum9at$ /reet1 or on a c\ntry road1 or climb+ a /eep hill1 ! man (f]s ! woman 8 arm4 ,he %\ld also d ?is at night :5 he holds an umbrella ov] h] head4 ,ev5 9 ! daylight1 :5 !y cross a cr[d$ ?or\ghf>e toge!r1 he %\ld lightly support h] elb[ ) 8 h& to pilot h] ov]4 ,he %\ld nev]1 unless !y be memb]s ( ! same family1 take h] arm 9 ord] to guide h]4 ,9 public a man mu/ nev] attract a woman's att5tion by clut*+ h] arm1 or--odi\s action6--by patt+ h] on ! %\ld] or back1 or nudg+ h]4 ,if !re is su* a noise ab\t !m t ! m]e speak+ h] "n 9 a l[ voice w n rea* h] e>s1 he may respectfully t\* h] on ! arm say+ at ! same "t1 8,excuse me1 please60 ,p]sonal lib]ties are always 9 poor ta/e1 b nev] m vulg> ?an 9 a place :]e !y are not$ by all obs]v]s4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,aft] ,,! ,,!at] ,if a man escort a woman home1 %e may utt] a brief 8,?ank y60 to him on p>t+ ) him4 ,pr(use expressions ( gratitude on su* an occasion are bad =m4 ,on p>t+ f him1 aft] he has tak5 h] to ! !at]1 op]a or any o!r ent]ta9m5t1 %e may1 :5 %e bids him good night1 say cordially1 8,i am indebt$ to y = a v pleasant ev5+10 &1 if %e wi%1 %e may add1 8,we %all be glad to h y call at any "t40 ,a man mu/ nev] l+] at a woman's door to utt] 8 good-bys1 or to speak a few f9al s5t5ces4 ,door-/ep *ats may d = nurse-maids & _! att5dants4 ,!y are out ( place 9 high] circles4 ,a man r+s ! bell = ! woman he is accompany+1 sees t %e is safely admitt$1 &1 if x be too late = him to ent] ! h\se = a few m9utes1 removes 8 hat1 says good night & takes 8 leave4 ,sid5ote3 ,,kiss+ ,,9 ,,public ,s mu* fun has be5 made ( ! cu/om t "s wom5 h ( kiss+ ea* o!r 9 public places on meet+ & p>t+1 x is surpris+ t ev5 gu%+ girls /ill adh]e to ! ridicul\s fa%ion4 ,:5 p embrace1 let x be 9 ! sanctity ( ! home1 or :]e !re are no amus$ obs]v]s4 ,if a kiss has no mean+1 !n let ,fa%ion d away ) x2 if x means t5d] affection1 x is too sacr$ a tok5 to be ex*ang$ :]e doz5s ( p may look on & comm5t on x4 ,x is h>dly too sweep+ an ass]tion to make :5 "o says t among m]e acqua9tances1 kisses are be/ omitt$ altoge!r4 ,d let u h "s me?od ( salutation = ^? we really love t is n giv5 z frequ5tly & freely to e *ance acqua9tance or casual fri5d6 ,"o woman decl>es t beyond h] relatives !re is no gr[n p]son %e will+ly kisses1 except two wom5 :om %e has kn[n = ye>s1 & %e respects !m too mu* to embrace !m 9 ! pres5ce ( an unsympa!tic _w4 ,a w>m h&-clasp w suffice until ! p :o love ea* o!r c be alone4 ,( c\rse !re are exceptions to ?is rule1 z to _m o!rs4 ,:5 a man puts 8 family ^u ! tra9 or boat :i* is to c>ry !m f him1 he w uncov] 8 head1 & kiss ea* "o ( ! belov$ gr\p4 ,o!r su* exceptions w sugge/ !mselves4 ,common s5se & good ta/e %\ld keep "o f mak+ a mi/ake 9 ^! matt]s4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,good ,,=m ,,9 ,,names ,x is 9 wret*$ =m = a man to speak ( a woman by h] fir/ "n :5 talk+ to casual acqua9tances4 ,x is z bad =m1 or ne>ly z bad1 = a woman to speak ( a man by 8 la/ "n1 z 8,br[n0 or 8,smi?40 ,x takes v little long] to say 8,miss ,m>y0 or 8,mr4 ,br[n10 & ! impression produc$ is wor? ! extra ex]tion4 ,nor1 unless !y be memb]s ( ! same family1 does a man address a girl by h] fir/ "n 9 a cr[d ( outsid]s4 ,9 h] home %e may be 8,m>y0 to him4 ,9 public1 let him address h] z 8,miss ,smi?40 99 99 99 99 99 ,"o ( ! mo/ annoy+ habits indulg$ 9 9 public is t ( be+ late at ! !at]4 ,x is try+ to h to lose :ole l9es ( a play :ile "o rises1 ga!r+ up bonnets & wraps to d s1 to all[ ! belat$ p]son to pass :o sits beyond "o4 ,x is a pity t !at]-go]s d n take m pa9s to %[ "o ano!r ! k9dness ( be+ 9 _! places be=e ! curta9 rises4 ,9 ent]+ a !at]1 ! man /&s aside to all[ ! woman to g into ! door ahead ( him1 !n /eps =w>d to %[ 8 tickets to ! u%]1 at ! same "t tak+ two programs f ! table1 or f ! boy hold+ !m4 ,! c\pons are h&$ back to ! man1 & kept by him1 9 case any mi/ake %\ld arise 9 reg>d to ! seats4 ,!n ! woman foll[s ! u%] d[n ! aisle1 foll[$ by h] escort4 ,9 "s we/]n cities ! man goes fir/ d[n ! aisle1 /&+ aside to all[ ! woman to take ! inn] seat4 ,x is well = bo? m5 & wom5 to remove _! coats & wraps1 ei!r 9 ! ve/ibule ( ! !at] or be=e go+ into _! seats4 ,aft] sitt+ d[n1 ! woman takes (f h] hat & holds x 9 h] lap ?r\gh\t ! p]=mance4 ,sid5ote3 ,,dispos+ ,,( ,,"o',s ,,wraps ,a bett] cu/om 9 !at]s l>ge & mod]n en\gh to h ample dress+-rooms is = ! woman to remove all h] wraps !re4 ,! h\se looks mu* pretti] ?an :5 ea* woman is pil$ ) h] belong+s1 ! woman is m com=table1 & %e has _h besides ! opportunity ( a glance 9 ! mirror at h] hair4 ,if %e is at all s5sitive to drafts %e may pref] to take a light sc>f ) h] z :5 ! curta9 rises !re is (t5 a v cold air1 especially on ^? sitt+ close to ! /age4 ,9 mo/ cities 9 ?is c\ntry wom5 d n we> full dress unless !y are to sit 9 a box4 ,at all ev5+ ent]ta9m5ts a woman's head is uncov]$4 ,a woman :o reta9s h] hat ev5 :5 sitt+ 9 a box inevitably sugge/s t %e wi%es to be conspicu\s4 ,if a woman is invit$ to be "o ( a box-p>ty %e ne$ n bo!r to g to ! dress+-room1 z 9 mo/ cases ea* box has hooks on :i* cloaks may be hung & a mirror conv5i5t = ! s+le glance t is desir$4 ,! same rules hold good ) reg>d to a musicale or a conc]t4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,talk+ ,,at ,a ,,conc]t ,i wi% !re 7 any *ance t any?+ anybody might say c\ld impress on wom5 t _! habit ( talk+ or1 worse /ill1 :isp]+1 dur+ a musical p]=mance is abom9ably rude6 ,let ^? :o h suff]$ by ?is almo/ univ]sal practise te/ify to ! mis]y x causes4 ,to h "o's favorite passage f a belov$ compos] m>r$ by 8,n[ ?is is :]e he dies1 y "k10 or 8,j he> ! ?und] 9 t or*e/ra1 & n[ j li/5 to ! *irp+ ( ! de> little birds60 or1--8,i don't ?9k ,i c lun* ) y to-morr[1 de>1 b p]haps ! next day10 8,d y ?9k ^? long coats are becom+ to %ort wom580--:o t has und]gone ! agony ( be+ 9 ! vic9ity ( su* a talk] c fail to utt] a f]v5t 8,am50 to ! fr5zi$ petition t !y be suppress$4 ,! p]son :o has se5 ! play be=e & :o oblig+ly keeps 8 neighbors in=m$ ( :at is com+ next is an equal (f5d]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,:5 ,,am]ica ,,is ,,play$ ,at public meet+s :5 ! national hymn is play$1 x is prop] = e "o to /& & to rema9 /&+ until x is end$4 ,,*apt] ,,xxv ,,hotel ,,& ,,bo>d+-,,h\se ,,life ,,!re is no bett] place ?an a hotel 9 :i* to /udy ! mann]s1 or lack ( mann]s1 ( ! _w at l>ge4 ,x is "h t selfi%ness is rampant1 & unselfi%ness hides its dim9i%$ head4 ,be=e we discuss ! e?ics ( hotel life x w be well to give a few g5]al directions z to :at "o does f ! "t "o ent]s ! door ( ! build+ :i* w1 = a long or %ort "t1 be 8 place ( abode4 ,he proce$s at once to ! (fice1 makes kn[n 8 desires ) reg>d to a room or rooms1 & writes 8 "n 9 ! regi/] h&$ to him by ! cl]k4 ,he is !n assign$ to 8 room1 & a page directs him ?i!r1 c>ry+ h& luggage4 ,to ?is page he h&s 8 trunk-*eck1 & ! trunk is soon br\ght to 8 room4 ,^u ! inside ( ! door 9 e hotel room is tack$ a set ( rules ( ! h\se1 & ^! are 9 !mselves suffici5t to in/ruct our un9itiat$ travel] 9 mo/ ( :at is expect$ ( him4 ,he "h le>ns t ! hotel is n responsible = valuables left on ! bureau or table ( ! room1 t ! gue/ is reque/$ to keep 8 trunk lock$1 & to lock 8 door ^u go+ out1 & to leave 8 key at ! (fice2 t valuable pap]s & jewelry c be left 9 ! safe ( ! hotel2 at :at h\rs meals are s]v$ & s on4 ,all ^! directions ! consid]ate p]son w obs]ve4 ,none ( !m is unreasonable4 ,!re are _m ?+s = :i* no pr9t$ rules are giv5 :i* are none ! less ess5tial to ! correctness ( demeanor on ! "p ( a gue/4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,at ,,! ,,hotel ,,table ,l\d talk+ is "o ( ! ?+s to be avoid$4 ,"o mu/ rememb] t 9 a hotel m ?an 9 any o!r place is ! w>n+ ( ! ,fr5*man likely to be prov$ true1--8,! walls !mselves1 my "l1 h e>s60 ,ea* room has ano!r room next to x1 & ! p>titions are ?94 ,! transoms all op5 ^u a g5]al hall 9 :i* c be he>d any l\d rem>k spok5 9 any "o ( ! rooms4 ,if "o does n discuss affairs "o wi%es kept secret1 "o mu/ be> 9 m9d ! fact t o!r p may be annoy$ :ile re/+1 read+ or talk+1 by fragm5t>y bits ( conv]sation waft$ to !m4 ,at ! hotel table "o mu/ also be> ?is 9 m9d4 ,l\d talk+ 9 a public place /amps ! speak] z a vulg>ian1 or a p]son :o has seldom be5 outside ( 8 own home1 & has nev] le>n$ to modulate 8 voice4 99 99 99 99 99 ,on ent]+ a hotel d9+-room1 ! travel] pauses until ! head wait]1 or "o ( 8 assi/ants1 indicates a table at :i* he may sit4 ,if ?is table be too ne> ! radiator or w9d[1 or o!rwise undesirable1 ! gue/ may c\rte\sly ask if he c n be plac$ 9 ano!r locality4 ,:5 a man & a woman are toge!r ! man ent]s ! room fir/1 & leads ! way to ! table1 on ! fir/ occasion ( _! tak+ a meal at ! hotel4 ,aft] t1 if !y occupy ! same table ea* day1 ! woman ent]s ! room fir/ & proce$s to h] seat1 foll[$ by ! man4 ,he1 or ! wait]1 draws back h] *air = h] & seats h]4 ,! man1 ( c\rse1 rema9s /&+ until %e is seat$4 ,sid5ote3 ,,giv+ ,,"o',s ,,ord] ,! m5u c>d is h&$ to ! man1 ) a pad or slip ( pap] & p5cil4 ,^u ?is1 aft] discussion ) ! woman1 he writes 8 ord]4 ,z a rule he ord]s ! entire meal1 except ! dess]t1 at once4 ,! sweets c be decid$ on lat]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i wi% ,i c\ld impress on ! m9ds ( p]sons 9 a hotel t x is wret*$ =m to criticize audibly ! vi&s set be=e !m4 ,! p]son sitt+ ne> y is n edifi$ to he> y rem>k t ! s\p is wret*$1 ! beef too r>e1 ! c(fee lukew>m4 ,if y h any fault to f9d1 d s to ! wait] & 9 su* a tone t ! o!r gue/s c n he> x4 ,sid5ote3 ,,avoid ,,faultf9d+ ,above all1 d n scold ! wait] = t = :i* he is n to blame4 ,he does n pur*ase ! meat1 nor does he fry ! oy/]s4 ,%[ him t y appreciate ?is fact1 & ask him politely if he c n get y a bett] cut1 or oy/]s t are n burn$4 ,"s p]sons seem to ?9k t x elevates !m 9 ! op9ion ( obs]v]s if !y compla9 ( :at is set be=e !m4 ,!y fancy1 app>5tly1 t o!rs w be impress$ ) ! idea t !y are accu/om$ to s mu* bett] f>e at home ?an t !y n[ h t x is a trial = !m to desc5d to ! plane on :i* o!rs are eat+4 ,! fact ( ! case is t ! p]son :o is accu/om$ to da9ty f>e1 & to ev5-?read$ liv+1 is too well-br$ to call ! att5tion ( /rang]s to ! fact4 99 99 99 99 99 ,:ile we are on ?is subject x w\ld be well to rem9d ! ?\ghtless p]son t :5 he d9es ) a fri5d at t fri5d's hotel1 on 8 invitation1 he is a gue/4 ,x is !re=e rude = him to comm5t unfavorably on ! di%es on ! table4 ,:51 "u su* circum/ances1 a gue/ says to 8 ho/ pro tem41 8,my de> fell[1 !y d n give y good veal "h60 or1 8,are y n tir$ ( ! mean butt] y eat at ?is hotel80 he is criticiz+ 9 an (f5sive mann] ! be/ t 8 ho/ c (f] him1 s9ce he has no h\se ( 8 own 9 :i* to ent]ta94 ,! gue/ %\ld act z if x 7 8 fri5d's private table1 & =be> to criticize f>e or s]vice4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,hotel ,,tipp+ ,"o ( ! (t5 unconsid]$ items ( exp5se 9 hotel life is ! 8tips0 t "o mu/ give4 ,9 no o!r place is "o's h& s (t5 9 "o's pocket4 ,a port] c>ries a bag1 & he mu/ be tipp$2 ano!r c>ries up a trunk1 he mu/ be tipp$2 "o r+s = ic$ wat]1 & ! boy br++ x expects 8 t5 c5ts2 "o wants hot wat] e morn+1 & 9 notify+ ! *amb]maid ( ?is fact1 mu/ slip a bit ( silv] into h] palm4 ,! wait] at "o's table mu/ be frequ5tly rememb]$1 & ! head wait] w give "o bett] att5tion if he f9ds some?+ 9 8 h& aft] he %[s ! new arrival to a table1 &1 ( c\rse1 on leav+1 "o w also give a fee4 ,s x goes6 ,:51 h[ev]1 "o is /ay+ by ! week at a hotel1 8tips0 ne$ be giv5 only once a week1--unless "s unusual favor is ask$4 ,we may rebel aga9/ ! cu/om1 & ) reason4 ,b z n "o ( u c alt] ! /ate ( affairs1 x is well to accept x ) a good grace1 or reconcile "o's self to indiff]5t s]vice4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,*ildr5 ,,9 ,a ,,hotel ,! matt] ( *ildr5 9 a hotel is "o on :i* s mu* has be5 said & writt5 t !re is little left to say4 ,at ! fir/ glance "o is tempt$ to res5t ! fact t _m hotel proprietors object to hav+ *ildr5 accompany _! p>5ts to ! public table1 & t "s ev5 demur at _! pres5ce 9 ! h\se4 ,*ild-lov]s h said bitt]ly t ! cele/ial 8_m mansions0 seem to be ! only abodes 9 :i* ! little ones are welcome1--& all ^! op9ions h a great deal ( tru? on _! side4 ,b x is n until "o has und]gone ! annoyance ( ill-gov]n$ *ildr5 9 a h\se :]e !re are no re/rictions en=c$ on !m t "o sees ! o!r side ( ! %ield4 ,"o l>ge bo>d+-h\se at a fa%ionable summ] resort is popul> to mo!rs ( l>ge families because ! proprietor does n object to *ildr54 ,a gue/ !re la/ season decid$ t if t 7 ! case said proprietor _h no n]ves4 ,%e soon le>n$ t *ildless gue/s decl9$ to /ay at ! place4 ,*ildr5 rac$ up & d[n ! long corridors1 scream+ z !y w5t2 !y play$ noisily outside ( b$room doors2 !y ate l little pigs at ! hotel tables4 ,9 %ort1 !y made ! h\se a purgatory = all except o!r *ildr5 & _! mo!rs4 ,sid5ote3 ,,two ,,types ,,( ,,mo!rs ,!re are two types ( mo!rs 9 ?is l& ( ours t are greatly at fault4 ,"o is ! "m :o h&s ! managem5t ( ! *ildr5 ov] to a nurse or sev]al nurses1 & %e is1 ( c\rse1 ! ri* woman ^: *ildr5 see h] seldom1 & t n (t5 en\gh to bo!r h]4 ,! o!r type is ! woman :o has n]ves t[>d all ?+s except h] own *ildr5's noise4 ,%e is su* a dot+ p>5t t %e is1 to all appe>ances1 bl9d & deaf to ! fact t h] own (fspr+ drive to ! v]ge ( insanity o!r 8gr[n-ups0 ) :om !y come 9 contact4 ,v]ily ! ,am]ican y\ng/] is hav+ ev]y?+ 8 own way 9 private & public n[adays6 ,dwell]s 9 hotels are to be p>don$ if !y beg t he be kept 9 private until 8 p>5ts le>n to gov]n him1 & by ?us do+1 %[ m]cy to o!r p4 ,:ile ! rules t gov]n propriety %\ld be adh]$ to ev]y:]e1 !re is no o!r place :]e !y %\ld be m /rictly obs]v$ ?an at ! summ] hotel1 or ! bo>d+-h\se ( a fa%ionable wat]+-place4 ,x may n be an exagg]ation to /ate t !re are few dec5t places :]e !y are m op5ly disreg>d$4 ,) ! trammels ( city life "o seems to lay d[n an appreciation ( ! fitness ( ?+s g5]ally4 ,! free int]c\rse1 ! rapidly-made acqua9tances1 ! m+l+ ( _m sorts ( peoples 9 ! huge c>avans>y--t5d to make u ca/ aside conv5tionalities4 ,husb&s1 runn+ d[n f ! city = a ,sunday ) _! wives1 f9d !m absorb$ & happy 9 ! gay life ab\t !m1 & q suffici5t unto !mselves :5 ! husb&s return to c\nt+-room & (fice on ,monday morn+4 ,!re is always a class ( m5 :o1 hav+ no?+ else to d1 are habitus ( ! summ] hotel1 :]e !y flirt ) ! wives ( o!r m5 & make !mselves g5]ally useful & talk$ ab\t4 ,sid5ote3 ,,avoid+ ,,gossip ,!re may be no h>m 9 all ?is sort ( ?+1 b x is well = ! discreet maid5 & matron to avoid giv+ any cause = ! enemy to blaspheme1--9 o!r words1 = ! gossip to make h]self busy & dang]\s4 ,to ?is end1 late h\rs 9 %ad$ corn]s ( v]&as1 moonlight sails & walks1 & bea*-prom5ades well on t[>d midnight1 are to be %unn$4 ,:ile ^! may be innoc5t p] se1 !y give rise to sc&al4 ,! "y girl may always h a *ap]on to :om to ref] z to ! proprieties1 b x is n ! "y girl :o is mo/ talk$ ab\t4 ,! m>ri$ woman ^: husb& lets h] h h] own way is a law unto h]self1 & %e mu/ be c>eful n to make t law too lax4 ,x takes v little to set silly tongues wagg+2 x takes mon?s & ye>s to *eck ! commotion !y h made4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,promiscu\s ,,fri5d%ips ,promiscu\s intimacies at summ] resorts are a great mi/ake4 ,unless a woman kn[s all ab\t a fell[ gue/1 %e %\ld n get into ! habit ( runn+ into h] room1 or ( talk+ ) h] z ) a lifelong fri5d4 ,%e may be pleasant t[>d all1 & intimate ) none4 ,x is a well-kn[n fact t !re is no o!r hotb$ ( gossip equal to a hotel or a bo>d+-h\se4 ,wom51 releas$ f ! c>es & anxieties ( h\sekeep+ & home-mak+1 turn _! "t & ?\ghts to fancy "w & sc&al4 ,ea* arrival runs ! gantlet ( criticism & comm5t1 & aft]w>d becomes ! subject ( 8confid5tial0 conv]sations ^u v]&a & 9 p>lors4 ,"h1 z ev]y:]e else1 "w t w occupy ! m9d is a sov]eign cure = ?is habit4 ,"o c usually sit 9 "o's own room1 b if "o does n1 !re is always a book to be read 9 p>lors or on ! v]&a1 :i* w %[ ! w\ld-be gossip or retail] ( sc&al t "o is too mu* occupi$ to engage 9 conv]sation4 ,sid5ote3 ,,two ,,good ,,rules ,c]ta9ly 9 a hotel no "o lives unto himself1 b ea* mu/ consid] ! com=t ( 8 neighbor4 ,su* a semi-public life is at ! be/ a poor sub/itute = a home exi/5ce4 ,two rules to be obs]v$ w make o!r rules ( hotel or bo>d+-h\se etiquette s9k into insignificance comp>$ ) _! importance4 ,fir/3 ,d no?+ t w make o!rs uncom=table4 ,second3 ,pay att5tion to y\r own bus9ess1 & pay no att5tion to t ( o!r p4 ,,*apt] ,,xxvi ,,9 ,,! ,,re/aurant ,,! woman :o1 = ! fir/ "t1 is tak5 to d9n] 9 a l>ge re/aurant is naturally slightly confus$ by ! exp]i5ce4 ,%e ne$s1 h[ev]1 to "k only a few ess5tial po9ts 9 ord] to be able to conduct h]self ) propriety & to enjoy h] ev5+4 ,%e & ! man :o has tak5 h] w leave _! wraps 9 *>ge ( ! maid or hat man at ! door4 ,if %e has worn a hat1 %e w reta9 ?is1 b if %e has gone 9 a c>riage or a c> ) only a light sc>f ab\t h] head1 %e ne$ n be emb>rass$1 = _m ( ! wom5 9 ! room w be )\t head-ge>4 ,9 ?is c\ntry1 x is n cu/om>y = wom5 d9+ 9 public places to we> g[ns cut m ?an slightly l[4 ,:5 ! two are %[n to _! table1 ! woman %\ld remove h] gloves1 keep+ !m 9 h] lap or p]haps putt+ !m on an empty *air t is ne>4 ,nei!r ! gloves nor a h&-bag %\ld ev] be plac$ on ! table4 ,! man %\ld d ! ord]+1 b z he w consult 8 gue/'s wi%es1 %e %\ld be prep>$ to express ^! def9itely & ) suffici5t promptness n to keep ! wait] /&+ too long4 ,unless some?+ v elaborate is desir$1 a plate ( raw oy/]s1 a little fi% or a bit ( bird1 a salad & a sweet ) c(fee1 ) ! ?+s t g ) !m1 w suffice4 ,! cu/om z to ord]+ is n ! same 9 all re/aurants & if two wom5 be alone1 ! "o :o is act+ z ho/ess %\ld ask :e!r ! wait] wants ! entire ord] at once or n4 ,usually a slip ( pap] & p5cil are giv5 :i* saves ! possibility ( mi/ake on ! "p ( ! wait]4 ,frequ5tly1 ! portions ( meat & salad & ( "s o!r di%es are abundant = two p]sons1 b x w be well to make a fri5d ( ! wait] to ! ext5t ( ask+ if ?is is ! case4 99 99 99 99 99 ,! habit ( c]ta9 fussy p :5 eat+ 9 a re/aurant ( wip+ (f _! plates be=e !y are s]v$ is intol]able--& fooli%4 ,x is unpleasant = o!r p1--besides1 if ! plates are n clean1 !re is no gr\nd = fai? 9 ! napk9s4 ,to snap ! f+]s at a wait] is to /amp "o's self z a vulg>ian4 ,sid5ote3 ,a ,,mod]ate ,,ord] ,ord] )9 y\r means & display no anxiety :5 t[>d ! end ( ! meal ! wait] lays y\r bill face d[nw>d on ! table4 ,:5 y are ready to pay x1 satisfy y\rself t x is correct & place on ! wait]'s tray a sum suffici5t to cov] x & ! am\nt ( ! tip cu/om says y mu/ give4 ,if a mi/ake has be5 made1 a quiet ^w w usually prove a suffici5t rem$y4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,m5u ,,c>d ,= ! b5efit ( ! woman1 :o = ! fir/ "t is confront$ ) ! elaborate m5u c>d ( an exp5sive re/aurant1 ! foll[+ explanation ( t]ms is giv53 8,aspic0--,meat jelly4 8,au ,grat90--,di%es cov]$ ) crumbs & br[n$4 8,au ,naturel0--,pla91 simple4 ,potatoes cook$ 9 _! jackets are 8au naturel40 8,b>becue0--,to roa/ any animal :ole1 usually 9 ! op5 air4 8,bisque0--,s\ps made ?ick ) m9ce & crumbs4 8,blan*0--,to p>boil1 to scald vegetables1 nuts1 etc41 9 ord] to remove ! sk94 8,blanquette0--,any :ite meat w>m$ 9 a :ite sauce1 ?ick5$ ) eggs4 8,b\illon0--,a cle> bro?4 8,b\quet0--,a sprig ( ea* ( ! h]bs us$ 9 season+1 roll$ up 9 a spray ( p>sley & ti$ securely4 8,caf au lait0--,c(fee boil$ ) milk4 8,caf noir0--,black c(fee4 8,camemb]t0--,a br& ( fancy *eese4 8,canap0--,usually toa/ ) *eese or pott$ meat spread ^u x4 ,sometimes made ( pa/ry4 8,cannelon0--,meat /uff$1 roll$ up & roa/$ or brais$4 8,cap]s0--,unop5$ buds ( a l[ trail+ %rub gr[n 9 s\!rn ,europe4 ,pickl$ & us$ 9 sauces4 8,capon0--,a *ick5 ca/rat$ = ! sake ( improv+ ! quality ( ! fle%4 8,c>amel0--,a sirup ( burnt sug>1 us$ = flavor+ cu/>ds1 etc41 & = color+ s\ps4 8,cass]ole0--,a cov]$ di% 9 :i* meat is cook$2 sometimes appli$ to =ms ( pa/ry1 rice or mac>oni fill$ ) meat4 8,*ampignons0--,fr5* mu%rooms4 8,*>lotte0--,a prep>ation ( cream or fruit1 =m$ 9 a mold1 l9$ ) fruit or cake4 8,*]vil0--,! leaf ( a ,european plant us$ z a salad4 8,*illies0--,r$ pepp]s4 8,*ives0--,an h]b alli$ to ! onion family4 8,*utney0--,a hot acid sauce made f apples1 rais9s1 tomatoes1 cay5ne1 g+]1 g>lic1 %alots1 lemons1 v9eg>1 salt & sug>4 8,comfitures0--,pres]ves4 8,compote0--,fruit /ew$ 9 sirup4 8,consomm0--,cle> s\p4 8,cream sug> & butt]0--,is to rub ! sug> into ! butt] until !y are well incorporat$1 !n beat light & smoo?4 8,creole1 ,a la0--,) tomatoes4 8,croquettes0--,a savory m9ce ( meat1 or f[l1 or fi%1 or ma%$ potatoes1 rice or o!r vegetables1 made into %apes & fri$ 9 deep fat4 8,cr\/ade0--,a k9d ( patty made ( bread or prep>$ rice4 8,cr\tons0--,small bits ( cru/$ bread us$ 9 s\ps or z g>ni%es4 8,cr\tons0--,bread dice fri$4 8,crumpet0--,rais$ muff9s bak$ on a griddle4 8,curries0--,/ews ( meat or fi%1 season$ ) curry p[d] & s]v$ ) rice4 8,de ,brie0--,a br& ( fancy *eese4 8,demi-tasse0--,a small cup2 t]m usually appli$ to aft]-d9n] c(fee4 8,devil$0--,season$ hotly4 8,eclair0--,pa/ry or cake fill$ ) cream4 8,en ,coquille0--,s]v$ 9 %ells4 8,endive0--,a plant ( ! composite family us$ z a salad4 8,entres0--,small made di%es s]v$ betwe5 c\rses at d9n]4 8,entrem5ts0--,second c\rse side-di%es1 includ+ vegetables1 eggs & sweets4 8,f>cie0--,/uff$4 8,fillets0--,long ?9 pieces ( meat or fi%1 g5]ally roll$ & ti$4 8,f9es h]bes0--,m9c$ p>sley1 etc4 8,f9nan ,haddock0--,haddock smok$ & dri$4 8,fondant0--,melt+4 ,boil$ sug>1 ! basis ( ,fr5* c&y4 8,fondue--,a prep>ation ( melt$ *eese4 8,fr5* dress+0--,a simple salad dress+ ( oil1 v9eg>1 salt1 pepp]1 & sometimes mu/>d4 8,galant9e0--,meat1 bon$1 /uff$1 roll$ & boil$1 always s]v$ cold4 8,glac0--,ic$4 8,glaze0--,/ock boil$ d[n to a ?9 pa/e4 8,grill$0--,broil$4 8,gruyre0--,a br& ( fancy *eese4 8,hors d'uvres0--,reli%es4 8,j>d9ire0--,a mix$ prep>ation ( vegetables /ew$ 9 _! own sauce2 a g>ni% ( vegetables4 8,juli5ne0--,a cle> s\p ) %r$d$ vegetables4 8,k\miss0--,milk f]m5t$ ) yea/4 8,l>doon0--,! piece ( salt pork us$ 9 l>d+4 8,l5tils0--,a v>iety ( ! bean tribe us$ 9 s\ps1 etc4 8,m>rons0--,*e/nuts4 8,mayonnaise0--,a salad dress+ made ( oil1 ! yolks ( eggs1 v9eg> or lemon juice1 salt & cay5ne4 8,m]+ue0--,! :ite ( eggs :ipp$ to a /&+ fro? ) p[d]$ sug>4 8,m\sse0--,ice-cream made f :ipp$ cream4 8,noodles0--,d\gh1 cut into /rips or o!r %apes1 dri$ & !n dropp$ into s\p4 8,n\gat0--,almond c&y4 8,paprika0--,hung>ian sweet r$ pepp]4 8,pt0--,"s prep>ation ( pa/ry1 usually a small pie4 ,h5ce 8patty-pans40 8,pt de foie gras0--,small pie fill$ ) fat goose liv]4 8,pice de rsi/ance0--,pr9cipal di% at a meal4 8,pilau0--,ea/ ,indian or ,turki% di% ( meat & rice4 8,pim5to0--,jamaica pepp]4 8,pimolas0--,small olives /uff$ ) pim5to--i4 e41 sweet r$ pepp]4 8,piquant0--,%>ply flavor$1 z 8sauce piquant10 a highly season$ sauce4 8,pi/a*io0--,a pale gre5i% nut resembl+ ! almond4 8,pol5ta0--,an ,italian mu% made ( ,indian meal1 or ( gr\nd *e/nuts4 8,potage0--,a family s\p4 8,potp\rri0--,a highly season$ /ew ( div]s mat]ials--meat1 spices1 vegetables & ! l2 a ,spani% di%4 8,pure0--,vegetables or c]eals cook$ & rubb$ ?r\gh a sieve to make a ?ick s\p4 8,rag\t0--,/ew$ meat 9 ri* gravy4 8,ramak9s0--,a prep>ation ( *eese & puff pa/e or toa/1 bak$ or br[n$4 8,re*auff0--,any?+ w>m$ ov]4 8,rissoles0--,m9c$ meat1 made into rolls cov]$ ) pa/ry or rice1 & fri$4 8,rissotto0--,rice & *eese cook$ toge!r2 an ,italian di%4 8,roque=t0--,a br& ( fancy *eese4 8,rti0--,roa/$4 8,r\lade0--,meat /uff$1 skew]$ into a roll & cook$4 8,r\x0--,butt] & fl\r cook$ toge!r & /irr$ 9 a smoo? cream4 ,a :ite r\x is made ) uncook$ fl\r2 a br[n1 ) fl\r t has be5 br[n$ by /irr+ x ^u a t9 plate ov] ! fire4 8,salmi0--,a w>m$-ov] di% ( game1 well season$4 8,saut0--,to fry lightly 9 hot fat or butt]1 n deep en\gh to cov] ! ?+ cook$4 8,scalpion0--,a m9ce ( p\ltry1 ham & o!r meats us$ = entres1 or x may be a mixture ( fruits 9 a flavor$ sirup4 8,scones0--,scot* cakes ( fl\r & meal4 8,%alot0--,a v>iety ( onion4 8,sorbet0--,froz5 pun*4 8,s\bise0--,a sort ( onion sauce eat5 ) meat4 8,s\ffl0--,a 8trifle0 pudd+1 beat5 almo/ z light z fro?1 !n bak$ quickly4 8,supreme0--,:ite cream gravy made ( *ick54 8,t>ragon0--,an h]b ! leaves ( :i* are us$ = season+ & 9 flavor+ v9eg>4 8,t>t>e0--,z a 8sauce t>t>e0--t>t1 acid4 8,timbale0--,a small pie or pudd+ bak$ 9 a mold & turn$ out :ile hot4 8,to ,braise ,meat0--,cook 9 a cov]$ pan 9 ! ov5 ) /ock1 m9c$ vegetables1 & peas1 beans1 etc41 :ole1 & ) savory h]bs4 8,to ,m>9ate0--,to cov] ) lemon juice or v9eg> & oil1 or ) spic$ v9eg>4 8,truffles0--,a species ( fungi gr[+ 9 clu/]s "s in*es bel[ ! surface ( ! gr\nd4 ,us$ 9 season+ & = a g>ni%4 8,tutti-frutti0--,a mixture ( fruits4 8,vel\t0--,a smoo? :ite sauce4 8,vol-au-v5t0--,light puff pa/ry bak$ 9 a mold & fill$ ) *ick51 sweetbreads or o!r delicate vi&4 8,zwieback0--,bread bak$ twice4 ,,*apt] ,,xxvii ,,:5 ,,travel+ ,,! selection ( prop] receptacles = "o's baggage is ! fir/ po9t to be consid]$ 9 mak+ prep>ations = a j\rney4 ,! trunk-mak]s (f] great v>iety 9 ! mat]ial1 quality & price ( _! w>es4 ,! indisp5sable requisite ( a trunk1 :atev] be ! mat]ial ( its composition1 is t x %all be /rong4 ,look well to h+es1 lock & corn]s be=e buy+4 ,a trunk t w n /& we> & te> is n wor? hav+4 ,"o ne$ n pur*ase an exp5sive trunk1 b "o c n af=d to pur*ase a *eap "o4 ,! mat]ial employ$ mu/ be good1 ?\gh ! appe>ance ne$ n be luxuri\s4 ,if "o c af=d ! price1 "o may f9d trunks :]e sep>ate trays are provid$ = ea* g[n or :]e inde$ frocks may be hung at full l5g? & come =? at ! end ( a j\rney z !y might come f my lady's closet4 ,b = ^? :o c n or d n c>e to put sizable sums ( money into ! c>ri]s ( _! clo!s1 !re are good s5sible receptacles at a mod]ate price4 ,a /eam] trunk1 by reason ( its %ape & size1 is a conv5i5t g5]al-purpose piece ( baggage & is especially to be comm5d$ = %ort j\rneys4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,travel+-,,bag ,! bag "o selects has mu* to d ) "o's com=t 9 travel+4 ,x %\ld be l>ge en\gh to hold a nightrobe1 a kimono1 "o's toilet articles1 also an extra %irt-wai/ & a *ange ( und]clo?+ 9 case ( det5tion4 ,! size ( ! bag is important4 ,x mu/ n be s l>ge t x is a burd5 to c>ry if necessity compels4 ,x mu/ n be s small t ! articles m5tion$ may n re/ com=tably & )\t cr[d+ )94 ,z ) trunks1 s 9 bags1 "o f9ds a l>ge v>iety 9 values4 ,x pays to get a good bag ( nice lea!r1 conv5i5tly arrang$ = c>ry+ ! articles necess>y to "o's com=t4 ,su* a bag1 "o t pleases ! eye & 9 :i* "o may f9d "o's ?+s )\t a di/ract+ se>* = !m1 gives an am\nt ( satisfaction to a travel] beyond ! p[] ( words to convey4 ,"o ( ! mo/ acceptable gifts t c be made to a p]son :o is n ( ! /ay-at-home type is a g5]\sly fitt$ travel+-bag4 ,z ?\s&s ( bags are made precisely alike1 ! /amp+ ( "o's initials at ! end or side may save "t & tr\ble4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,dress+ ,,= ,a ,,j\rney ,"o %\ld we> d>k inconspicu\s clo?+ 9 travel+1 & ( a weight suitable to ! season ( ! ye>4 ,befl[]$ hats1 light g[ns1 light gloves--unless ^! are wa%able--& jewelry are 9 ! wor/ ( ta/e & proclaim ! unsophi/icat$ or ! p>v5u4 ,to be dress$ com=tably & mode/ly is ! aim ( ! exp]i5c$ travel]4 ,9 summ] a d>k silk dress ( light weight ) a silk ra9-coat makes an ideal travel+ co/ume1 z nei!r holds du/4 ,a woman s attir$ w arrive at ! end ( h] j\rney 9 mu* bett] condition ?an h] less exp]i5c$ companion :o cl+s to :ite 787 bl\ses4 ,if a fre% veil & a pair ( :ite gloves are tuck$ into h] bag to be put on at ! la/ mom5t1 %e w be *>m+ly immaculate4 ,a black silk bag = ! protection ( "o's hat is a good idea ?\gh mo/ ,pullmans supply pap] sacks = ?is purpose4 99 99 99 99 99 ,if possible1 x is well on a j\rney to c>ry ) "o some?+ m 9 ! way ( money ?an "o's travel+ exp5ses4 ,"o c n tell :at em]g5cy may arise or :at unexpect$ dem&s may be made ^u "o4 ,_m wom5 c>ry ! funds n imm$iately 9 use1 9 "s sort ( pocket fa/5$ on or made into ! petticoat !y we>4 ,"o c buy v pretty sep>ate pockets ( ?is sort made ( lea!r or "o c make !m ( a /\t silk fa/5$ d[n by a clasp on ! flap4 ,elaborate prep>ation 9 c>+ = "o's weal? is ! p5alty a woman pays = be+ )\t pockets 9 h] clo!s4 ,:ile x is wise = h] to put ! funds unnecess>y = imm$iate use 9 "s su* safe place z t describ$1 %e %\ld n keep articles :i* %e may be at any mom5t call$ ^u to deliv]1 9 a spot :i* x is emb>rass+ = h] to rea*4 ,tra9 conductors & baggage ag5ts h _m a gr9 & sly smile ov] ! woman :o mu/ rea* "u h] petticoat be=e %e c deliv] up ticket & trunk *ecks4 ,an amus+ in/ance ( ?is ov]caution1 s mu* m *>act]i/ic ( wom5 ?an ( m51 occurs to ! writ]4 ,an acqua9tance1 />t+ on a ,european voyage1 took ! mo/ elaborate means = ! hid+ ( h] valuables ^u h] p]son4 ,9 transit %e /ay$ ! night at a ,new ,york hotel & woke 9 ! morn+ to discov]1 to h] horror1 t %e _h slept all night ) ! door ( h] room unlock$ & ! key on ! outside4 ,a consid]able am\nt ( *ange 9 a sep>ate purse f "o's bills is a conv5i5ce & a safegu>d4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,mak+ ,,acqua9tances ,a man may1 if he *ooses1 make acqua9tances on a j\rney1 & a woman also1 ?\gh ) less frequ5cy & fre$om4 ,! exig5cies ( travel may sometimes make x pleasant = h] to r5d] or receive aid f ano!r woman or possibly a man2 & ?is may be ! />t+-po9t = acqua9tance4 ,z a usual ?+1 x is be/ = a "y girl travel+ alone1 to avoid all communication ) /rang]s1 z %e c n "k into :at complications x may lead h]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,com=t ,,9 ,a ,,pullman ,if "o is mak+ a j\rney t compels night travel1 "o mu/ secure "o's section or half-section 9 ! ,pullman or sleep] be=eh&4 ,9 ord] to get good accommodations x is well to d ?is sev]al days 9 advance4 ,! difficulty ( gett+ into an upp] b]? makes mo/ wom5 *oose ! l[]1 ?\gh x is m co/ly & decid$ly /uffi]4 ,:5 "o climbs abo>d a tra9 ! port] foll[s ) "o's belong+s1 f9ds "o's section or half-section & deposits ! h& luggage 9 its place4 ,"s travel]s are v ?\ghtless 9 appropriat+ m ?an _! %>e ( ! space appo9t$ = wraps1 bags1 etc4 ,if "o has paid = a half-section only1 "o has no "r to take m ?an t1 unless ! o!r half ( ! section rema9s unsold4 ,:5 a travel] wi%es 8 b$ made up he %\ld summon ! port] & s decl>e4 ,usually an electric bell betwe5 ! w9d[s ( 8 section w enable him to call ! port] at any "t4 ,if ! travel] is a woman & is = any reason dissatisfi$ ) h] b]? or section1 %e may consult ) ! port] ab\t a *ange :i*1 if ! c> is n full1 he is (t5 able to arrange = h]4 ,= in/ance1 if a woman hav+ a l[] section f9ds t ! upp] is to be occupi$ by a man1 x is (t5 possible1 by ! paym5t ( a small sum to ! port]1 to move h] qu>t]s4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,timid ,,travel] ,sid5ote3 ,,dress+ ,,= ,,! ,,night ,_m wom5 :o f9d !mselves compell$ = ! fir/ "t to take a sleep+-c>1 feel timid at ! prospect4 ,b ! process is simple ?\gh n necess>ily com=table4 ,once beh9d ! curta9s a woman may remove all h] clo?+ precisely z %e does at home if %e feel equal to ! physical ordeal ( putt+ x on aga9 9 a cr[d$ space 9 ! morn+ to ! accompanim5t ( rapid motion & ! nausea x (t5 induces4 ,unless "o is a good travel]1 x may be pref]able to remove "o's dress1 p9n+ ! skirt to ! inside ( ! curta9 to save its fre%ness1 putt+ small articles 9 ! sw++ hammock next ! w9d[s & = ! re/ m]ely loos5+ b&s4 ,directly above ! head "o w f9d 9 all fir/-class tra9s a button t :5 press$ w give a light by :i* "o c read or :i* w help "o ! bett] to endure an h\r ( n]v\s wakefulness4 ,a small bottle ( br&y or spirits ( ammonia is c>ri$ by delicate wom5 to w>d (f tra9 sickness4 ,a woman %\ld n hesitate to summon ! port] = extra cov]s1 a glass ( wat] or any o!r s]vice t contributes to h] real com=t4 ,to s5d = him ) too great frequ5cy %[s lack ( exp]i5ce & consid]ation4 ,if "o is to be call$ be=e daylight x is wise to give "o's self ample "t = dress+ & s ! port] %\ld be in/ruct$ to call "o at a c]ta9 "t consid]ably ahead ( ! h\r = leav+ ! tra94 ,exp]i5c$ wom5 travel]s d n don :ite night-dresses 9 sleep+-c>s1 b keep a d>k silk robe = ?is purpose1 insur+ equal com=t & a bett] appe>ance 9 case ( illness or accid5t4 99 99 99 99 99 ,!re are _m small (fices = :i* "o may call ^u ! port] if s incl9$4 ,"o mu/1 h[ev]1 keep x 9 m9d t he %\ld be rew>d$ proportionately at ! end ( ! j\rney aft] he has p]=m$ 8 la/ (fice ( bru%+ "o (f4 ,tw5ty-five c5ts is ! usual am\nt giv5 to him = ! s]vices r5d]$ 9 tw5ty-f\r h\rs4 ,an occasional w>y travel] be/[s 8 tip = ! fir/ r ?an ! la/ s]vice ask$4 ,if a port] appe>s sull5 ?is me?od w be f\nd to h advantages4 99 99 99 99 99 ,be=e leav+ "o's b]? 9 ! morn+1 "o %\ld1 z f> z possible1 get into "o's und]g>m5ts ov] :i* "o slips a ba?robe or kimono be=e go+ to ! toilet-room4 ,"o %\ld take ) "o to ! toilet comb1 bru%1 too?-bru%1 clo!s-bru%1 wa%-clo?1 a cake ( soap 7x is nev] wise to use ! public cake7 & ! g[n "o int5ds we>+1 ) its accessories4 ,all ! toilet articles %\ld be c>ri$ 9 a silk wat]pro( 8companion10 or bett] /ill1 9 a cra% apron ) rubb]-l9$ pockets = soap & t[els1 to be ti$ ab\t ! wai/4 ,arriv$ !re "o %\ld be z exp$iti\s z possible 9 ord] n to keep o!rs wait+4 ,"o woman's selfi%ness 9 out-/ay+ h] "t 9 ! toilet-room may keep t5 o!rs 9 mis]y4 ,x is n ! "t & place = a complete ba?4 ,n[h]e is ! quality ( true c\rtesy m ne$$ ?an 9 ! toilet-room ( a ,pullman4 ,:5 "o has f9i%$ "o's ablutions1 comb$ "o's hair & fa/5$ "o's g[n1 "o %\ld clean ! bas9 & place ! soil$ t[els out ( ! way4 ,:5 "o leaves ! room x %\ld be ready = ! next com]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,9 ,,! ,,d9+ ,,c> ,:5 ! ann\ncem5t is made t breakfa/1 d9n] or lun*eon1 z ! case may be1 is s]v$1 ! pass5g] makes 8 way to ! d9]4 ,if ?is is cr[d$ he mu/ wait 8 "t pati5tly & ) c\rtesy to ^? ab\t him4 ,sometimes ! meal is s]v$ a la c>te 7lit]ally1 by ! c>d71 9 :i* case a sep>ate *>ge is made = ea* article on ! bill ( f>e or m5u4 7,m5u1 by ! way1 is pron\nc$ 8may-noo10 n 8meyn-y0 z "o (t5 he>s x47 ,_m d9+-c>s s]ve meals table d'hote 7tah-bul-dote7 & = ^! a fix$ *>ge ( "o doll> is made4 ,"s tra9 d9n]s are v good inde$1 o!rs are execrable4 ,if a di% is p>ticul>ly bad & "o compla9t does n produce a bett]1 ! d9] %\ld n br[-beat 8 wait]--:o is n to blame--b may if he *oose speak to ! /ew>d 9 *>ge4 ,hav+ be5 s]v$ he %\ld fee ! wait]4 ,! usual fee is "o-t5? ! price ( ! meal1 ?\gh m51 m frequ5tly ?an wom51 give m ?an ?is4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,arriv+ ,,at ,a ,,hotel ,arrival 9 a /range city is bewild]+ to a p]son :o has travel$ little4 ,!re are always1 h[ev]1 9 ! city railway /ations1 bureaus ( in=mation :]e "o may f9d out ! necess>y ?+s4 ,if "o is desir\s ( a cab1 "o may discov] !re ! mo/ tru/wor?y l9e2 or1 if a c> is want$1 :at direction "o mu/ take to f9d ! prop] "o4 ,usually ! travel]1 if int5d+ to g to a hotel1 w h made himself acqua9t$1 be=e arrival 9 ! city1 ) ! relative value & exp5se ( ! diff]5t ones4 ,a p]son is mu* bett] treat$ at su* places if he writes or telegraphs ahead = accommodations4 ,a woman %\ld *oose ! side entrance1 if !re is "o1 z ?is is res]v$ = ladies4 ,if a woman arrives 9 a /range city1 unaccompani$1 x is sometimes difficult = h] to get ! hotel accommodations %e desires4 ,at "s hotels !y w n admit unaccompani$ wom5 aft] nightfall4 ,"u ^! circum/ances ! travel] w\ld bett] g to ! ho/elries e/abli%$ by ! ,"y ,wom5's ,*ri/ian ,association1 :]e %e may feel c]ta9 ( ! "* ( ! place & ent]ta9m5t4 ,^! places inv>iably require t "o %all be introduc$ & "o w d well1 !re=e1 to take a lett] f "o's cl]gyman4 ,! l5g? ( "o's /ay is usually limit$ b x is suffici5t = ! ord9>y holiday or %opp+ visit4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,unaccompani$ ,,woman ,if y are arriv+ 9 a city & expect to be 8met10 d n1 if y c possibly avoid x1 take a tra9 t pulls 9 at an une>?ly h\r ( ! night or e>ly morn+4 ,if y mu/ take su* a tra91 tell y\r ho/ess %e is n to meet y1 t y w /ay ! night at a d[n-t[n hotel or at lea/ w take a c>riage4 ,an intellig5t woman ne$ h no fe> ( dang] 9 arriv+ 9 a /range city alone4 ,%e may possibly be annoy$ by a bold />e1 ev5 by a "q1 b ! *ances are t if %e be quiet 9 dress & mann] %e w n suff] ev5 inconv5i5ce4 ,policem5 & /ation (ficials are always will+ to answ] ! que/ions ( p]plex$ travel]s4 ,a little fee sometimes helps !m speak m eloqu5tly4 ,x is n wise to dep5d ^u ! *ance pass]-by = in=mation4 ,! p]son ^: bus9ess x is to in=m y is n likely to tell y :at is untrue4 ,( him y h a "r to expect some?+4 ,( o!rs y h a "r to expect no?+1 & y may come 9 = less ?an ! value ( y\r expectations4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,on ,,bo>d ,a ,,boat ,! g5]al etiquette ( /eamboat travel does n diff] f t on bo>d a tra94 ,boat travel is ( a m leisurely sort & begets some:at less =mality z relates to "o's fell[ travel]s4 ,o!rwise ! rules ( behavior are ! same4 99 99 99 99 99 ,z a p>t+ injunction to ! travel]1 let me say1--don't look worri$1 cross & ov]-c>eful ev5 if y feel t way4 ,c\rtesy to subord9ates w w9 y att5tion & s]vice1 w /raight5 out y\r difficulties m quickly ?an any o!r me?od4 ,if y take ! ills ( travel+ ) "s s5se ( humor1 ) a give-&-take _s1 y w get m ?an ! b5efit ( ! money y\r j\rney may co/ y4 ,if y d n c>ry an ela/ic _s ) y1 ! f9e/ trip t ev] 0 plann$ w br+ y little return4 ,sid5ote3 ,,*ap]ons ,,9 ,,europe ,a woman :o travels abroad mu/ rememb] t ! rules ( *ap]onage are mu* /rict] 9 ,europe ?an !y are 9 ?is c\ntry1 & t %e is expect$ to h a companion or a maid4 ,if %e wi%es to disp5se ) ^!1 %e mu/ reconcile h]self to =ego+ social invitations4 ,if %e makes inquiry %e c always le>n ( p>ticul>ly desirable p5sions :]e %e may c\nt on f9d+ among ! gue/s a cong5ial p]son to accompany h] on _m ( h] %ort excursions4 ,on bo>d ! /eam%ip ! luckie/ pass5g]s 9 ! d9+-salon are ^? :o are =tunate en\gh to be allott$ seats at ! capta9's table4 ,,*apt] ,,xxviii ,,9 ,,sport ,,sport1 sci5ti/s tell u1 is a relic ( prehi/oric pursuits2 & ! s-call$ sport+ in/9ct is a /irr+ ( ! primeval nature )9 civiliz$ brea/s4 ,p]haps t is :y m p =get ! fir/ t5ets ( good bre$+ :5 compet+ 9 v>i\s =ms ( outdoor ex]cise ?an 9 ne>ly all ! o!r walks ( life put toge!r4 ,! man :o w\ld view ) an amiable smirk ! spill+ ( a glass ( ,burgundy ov] 8 :ite wai/coat at a d9n]1 w (t5 exhibit babyi% rage at ! break+ ( a favorite golf-club or ! /upidity ( a caddie4 ,! girl ^: self-control p]mits h] to smile & murmur3 8,x's really ( no consequ5ce60 :5 a dance-p>tn]'s foot te>s ?ree y>ds ( lace (f h] tra91 w seldom %[ ! same calm good-humor :5 h] oppon5t at t5nis s]ves balls t are too swift & too h>d-driv5 = h] to return4 99 99 99 99 99 ,!re are _m concrete & a few g5]al rules = behavior 9 sport ( all sorts1 ! obs]vance or neglect ( :i* d5otes ! 8?or\ghbr$0 or ! boor f> m accurately ?an w\ld a week full ( ord9>y r\t9e4 ,! g5]al rules apply to e =m ( sport4 ,!y are1 briefly3 ,fir/1 la/ & always--keep y\r temp]6 ,rememb] ! ^w 8sport0 means 8pa/ime40 ,:5 x becomes a cause ( annoyance or impati5ce1 or an occasion = loss ( temp]1 x misses its true aim & y are n wor?y to cont9ue x4 ,sid5ote3 ,,rememb] ,,! ,,o!r ,,man ,second2 ! 8o!r fell[0 has q z mu* "r to a good "t z y h4 ,d n play selfi%ly1 or vaunt y\r sup]iority ov] him4 ,9 all conte/s1 %[ no elation at victory1 or *agr9 at defeat4 ,?is is ! fir/ & great law4 ,its obs]vance diff]5tiates ! true sportsman f ! m]e sport+-man4 ,?ird2 play fairly4 ,! man or girl :o w take an undue advantage ( any description ov] an oppon5t1 n only breaks ! mo/ sacr$ rules ( good bre$+1 b robs himself or h]self ( ! real enjoym5t ( ! game4 ,f\r?2 no sport 9 :i* p ( bre$+ c p>ticipate dem&s l\d talk+1 ill-br$ language or actions1 or ! abridgm5t ( any ( ! small sweet c\rtesies ( life4 ,to sum up1--good bre$+1 fairness1 self-control & pati5ce are ne$ful equipm5ts4 ,)\t any & all ( ^! no man or woman %\ld take "p 9 sports4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,golf-,,play] ,golf1 p]haps1 m ?an any o!r outdoor pa/ime1 dem&s a ?or\gh & judici\s bl5d ( ! =ego+ qualities4 ,! old /ory ( ! ,scot* cl]gyman1 ^: consci5ce w\ld n all[ him to cont9ue bo? golf & ! m9i/ry1 & :o !re=e ab&on$ ! latt]1 0 ( c\rse an exagg]ation4 ,b ! idea x expresses is by no means absurd4 ,:5 a cr[d ( p ?rong ! l9ks--:5 novice & adept1 crank & m]e ex]cise-seek] are jumbl$ toge!r 9 seem+ confusion--x is n always easy to keep a cool head1 a sweet temp] & a resolution nei!r to give nor to take (f5se4 ,_m a golf-play] errs 9 behavior less ?r\gh ill-int5t ?an ?r\gh he$lessness & ignorance ( :at ! etiquette ( ! occasion dem&s4 ,su* en?usia/s may pr(it by ! ensu+ rules :i* cov] ! m sali5t po9ts ( decorum1 & :i* may enable ! beg9n] to avoid _m a pitfall3 ,:5 two play]s 8drive (f0 f ! tee !y %\ld always wait until ! c\ple 9 front ( !m h made _! second %ot & walk$ (f f x4 ,?us confusion is av]t$ & ! prop] di/ance ma9ta9$4 ,x is a simple rule1 b "o (t5 brok54 ,?ree play]s %\ld always let a pair ( play]s pass !m4 ,n only %\ld !y grant ! desir$ position1 b !y %\ld (f] to d s be=e ! "q1 8,may we pass80 c be ask$4 ,! pair 9 "q %\ld 79 case su* p]mission is n volunte]$7 ask politely to be all[$ to move =w>d4 ,! yell ( 8,=e60 is all ! /rict rules ( ! game dem&1 b ! rules ( bre$+ %\ld come fir/4 ,a s+le play] mu/ give way to all l>g] p>ties4 ,?is is b fair1 s9ce golf is1 preem95tly1 a mat*2 & ^? actively engag$ 9 ! conte/ %\ld h ! "r ( way ov] a man :o is m]ely practis+4 ,! 8s+le play]0 mu/ recognize & yield ) good grace4 ,if he desires unob/ruct$ practise1 let him *oose "s "t :5 ! l9ks are vacant4 ,sid5ote3 ,,on ,,! ,,putt+ ,,gre5 ,nev] drive on ! 8putt+ gre50 :5 o!r play]s are !re 8putt+ out40 ,play]s %\ld n neglect to get (f ! gre5 ! mom5t !y h 8hol$ out40 ,! place is n int5d$ z an isle ( safety1 or a club-h\se corn] :]e scores may be comput$1 gossip ex*ang$1 or ! "w ( o!rs wat*$4 ,if y are at ! tee wait+ = o!rs to 8drive (f10 nev] speak1 c\gh1 or 9 any way di/ract ! att5tion ( ! play] :o is address+ ! ball4 ,inconsid]ate or ill-br$ p 9 ?is way spoil hundr$s ( good drives & ?\s&s ( good temp]s e ye>4 ,:5 a man & a woman are play+ golf1 ! latt] %\ld always be all[$ to prec$e on ! fir/ drive (f f ! fir/ tee4 ,a man1 play+ aga9/ a woman1 %\ld n all[ himself to get too f> ahead ( h]4 ,d n leave h] to plod on alone4 ,?is same rule applies :5 play+ ) ano!r man4 ,d n g aft] ! ball aft] a drive until y\r oppon5t drives4 ,!n walk toge!r 9 pursuit4 ,nev] g ahead ( y\r p>tn]4 ,sid5ote3 ,,avoid ,,ha/e ,,9 ,,golf ,use no undue ha/e 9 golf4 ,nev] run6 ,if y are n employ+ a caddie1 always (f] to c>ry ! clubs ( ! woman ) :om y are play+4 ,9 ! same circum/ances (f] to make ! tee f :i* %e is to drive (f4 ,x is optional ) h] :e!r or n to accept y\r (f]4 ,:5 y h no caddie all[ play]s :o h caddies to pass y4 ,!y w g fa/] ?an y & %\ld h ! "r ( way4 ,nev] make unfavorable criticisms ( o!rs' play4 ,nev]1 above all1 laugh at any ( _! blund]s4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,:5 ,,motor+ ,automobil+ has s increas$ 9 popul>ity t x is almo/ a national pa/ime4 ,& ) its gr[+ favor has sprung up a noxi\s & fl\ri%+ crop ( bad mann]s4 ,!re seems to be some?+ ab\t ! spe$1 ! smell ( gasol9e or ! s5se ( sup]iority ov] sl[] vehicles1 t robs _m an o!rwise well-br$ automobili/ ( all consid]ation4 ,yet ! utmo/ consid]ation is due1 n only to m]e mortals b to fell[ 8motorm540 ,common humanity1 z well z civility1 %\ld always prompt a *auffeur to /op at sight ( a disabl$ c> & to ask if he c be ( assi/ance2 to (f] ! loan ( any necess>y tools or extra gasol9e2 or ev51 if necess>y1 to volunte] a 8t[40 ,d n presume on ! community ( int]e/s to address ! *auffeur or pass5g]s ( a pass+ c>1 any m ?an ! pass5g]s ( "o ord9>y vehicle w\ld address ^? ( ano!r4 ,d n />e at ano!r's c>1 nor1 if at a /&/ill1 exam9e ! me*anism4 ,?is is ! height ( rud5ess4 ,! fact t y are s lucky z to own a c> gives y no lic5se to inve/igate ! work+s ( ano!r man's ma*9e1 or 9 o!r ways to make y\rself obnoxi\s4 ,:5 pass+ a c> ( inf]ior horse-p[]1 d n *oose t mom5t to exhibit y\r own great] spe$4 ,be c>eful also n to give su* a c> y\r du/ nor 7s f> z y c avoid7 to sick5 its occupants ) ! smell ( y\r motor's gasol9e4 ,d n boa/ ( ! ph5om5al runs y h made4 ,y are n a record-hold]4 ,& :5 y become "o1 ! newspap]s w gladly exploit ! fact )\t any viva voce te/imony f y4 ,:5 meet+ a horse vehicle wat* closely to see if ! horse %[s signs ( fe>4 ,if he does1 completely /op y\r c>1 & if ! driv] ( ! horse be a woman1 dism\nt & lead ! horse pa/ y\r c>4 ,d n violate ! spe$ ord9ance4 ,! ord9ance 0 made = public safety1 n to spite y4 ,d n fright5 animals or p$e/rians1 nor c>elessly /e] too ne> to "s f>m]'s live /ock :i* may happ5 to be 9 ! road4 ,rememb] ! own] ( ! *ick5s or dogs y may run ov] is help+ to pay = ! smoo? road y are trav]s+4 ,! road is p>tly 81 & y are 9 a measure 8 gue/4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,rules ,,= ,,t5nis ,t5nis (f]s few] opportunities = 8breaks0 ?an d _m o!r ( ! sports ( ! h\r4 ,yet good bre$+ is "h z necess>y z :5 play+ any o!r game4 ,if y h a woman = a p>tn] & x is h] 8s]ve10 d n neglect to pick up & h& h] ! balls be=e ea* s]vice4 ,second h] m c>efully ?an if %e 7 a man1 & take *>ge ( ! extra balls = h]4 ,if a woman is y\r oppon5t1 rememb] %e has n ! /r5g? & endurance ( a man4 ,s]ve g5tly4 ,d n slam balls ov] ! net at cannonball spe$ & =ce4 ,oppose only mod]ate /r5g? to h] less] p[]4 ,give h] ! b5efit ( ! d\bt 9 case ( a 8let10 or :5 ! ball may or may n be ov] ! back l9e4 ,9 8d\ble s]vice0 d n s]ve ! second ball until %e has recov]$ h] position f pursu+ ! fir/4 ,! *oice ( rackets %\ld also1 ( c\rse1 be h]s2 & any "w1 su* z putt+ up ! nets1 hunt+ ! lo/ ball1 & s on1 devolves on y4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,ya*tsman ,,z ,,ho/ ,! ya*tsman is ( two classes1--! man :o delights 9 ! dang]s & seaman%ip incid5t on a cranky 8w9d-jamm]0 9 a heavy sea1 & ! man ^: boat is a float+ club-h\se4 ,bo? types are prone to =get at times t _! gue/s are n s en?usia/ic z !mselves2 t !y may be n]v\s or incl9$ to seasickness1 & t ! amusem5ts ( _! ho/ may n always appeal to !m4 ,! man :o w\ld nev] ?9k ( caus+ inconv5i5ce to a gue/ on l& w %[ impati5ce or lack ( sympa?y at t same gue/'s timidity or mal de m]1 :5 afloat4 ,! same rules ( behavior t obta9 betwe5 ho/ & gue/ a%ore %\ld prevail on ! ya*t4 ,! ta/es ( ! latt] %\ld be z scrupul\sly consid]$ & 8 or h] likes & dislikes be z consid]ately met4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,canoe+ ,simil> laws ( social usages apply to boat+ & canoe+4 8,! fool t rocks ! boat0 has receiv$ s _m w>n+s & su* j & :olesome condemnation t !re is no use wa/+ fur!r words on him4 ,no man :o values ! safety & com=t ( 8 companion w d any?+ to imp]il ei!r4 ,a man %\ld always (f] to r[1 b %\ld give ! girl :o is ) him ! option ( do+ s if %e wi%es4 ,he %\ld hold ! boat /eady = h] & assi/ h] to emb>k1 hav+ previ\sly arrang$ ! cu%ions 9 ! /]n & made all o!r possible plans = h] com=t4 ,! c\rse !y are to take %\ld always be left to h] *oice1 & h] wi%es %\ld be consult$ 9 e way4 ,a girl w\ld also d well to rememb] t ! man :o has tak5 h] boat+ is do+ all ! "w & is try+ to give h] a pleasant "t4 ,%e %\ld meet him half-way1 & %\ld try to repress any n]v\sness %e may exp]i5ce 9 be+ on ! wat] & %\ld welcome ! opportunity to help :5 occasionally reque/$ by h] 8skipp]0 to 8trim boat40 99 99 99 99 99 ,swimm+ is ess5tially a man's sport4 ,:ile _m wom5 are good swimm]s1 !y usually lack ! /r5g? & endurance to make !m m5's equals 9 ?is l9e4 ,a man %\ld !re=e be c>eful to avoid ov]tax+ ! /r5g? ( ! girl :o is swimm+ ) him2 %\ld be cont5t to rema9 ne> ! %ore if %e s desire1 &1 9 surf-ba?+1 %\ld lift h] ov] ! break]s1 or try to %ield h] f _! =ce4 ,9 tea*+ o!rs to swim1 inf9ite pati5ce1 good temp] & tact are ne$ful4 ,all[ = ! n]v\sness & awkw>dness :i* are ! almo/ insep>able attributes ( beg9n]s4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,driv+ ,,& ,,rid+ ,9 driv+ always ask y\r companion if %e or he w\ld pref] to h&le ! re9s4 ,d n1 by bur/s ( spe$1 or by 8fights0 ) a fracti\s horse1 endang] ! safety or composure ( y\r gue/4 99 99 99 99 99 ,9 rid+ horseback1 nev] rema9 m\nt$ :5 address+ "s fri5d :o is on foot4 ,if y\r initial salute is to be foll[$ by any conv]sation1 dism\nt & rema9 on foot until y take y\r leave4 ,9 help+ a girl to ! saddle1 ext5d y\r h& t %e may place h] left foot 9 ! palm1 & on ! same in/ant t y raise ! h& %e w spr+ into ! saddle2 always adju/ ! curb & snaffle1 h& !m to h] & arrange h] rid+-habit be=e y m\nt y\r own horse4 ,cross-saddle rid+ = wom5 is n[ s common t x is g5]ally accept$4 ,/ill a girl :o makes a visit :]e %e expects to ride %\ld make sure h] ho/ess approves ?is me?od be=e %e adopts x4 ,^? :o hold t a lady %\ld use a side-saddle feel /rongly on ! subject4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,good ,,bre$+ ,,9 ,,games ,!re are c\ntless pitfalls = ! unw>y 9 all =ms ( sport2 b none t c n be readily bridg$ by consid]ation = o!rs1 by good temp]1 & by ! commone/ rules ( bre$+4 ,"o g5]al rule = all sports & games is1 d n take "p unless y c play reasonably well4 ,to d s o!rwise is sure to emb>rass y & to int]f]e ) ! pleasure ( o!rs4 ,,*apt] ,,xxix ,,mrs4 ,,newlyri* ,,& ,,h] ,,social ,,duties ,,we h ridicul$ our newly-ri* woman's fads1 pret5sions & failures s %>ply & = s long t we f9d x h>d to d ju/ice to ! solid virtues %e (t5 possesses4 ,! av]age specim5 is fair game1 & we--"o & all1 f ! g5tle/ to ! mo/ s>ca/ic--unite 9 8sett+ h] d[n40 ,except p]haps ! "m-9-law1 no o!r woman supplies fun-mak]s ) su* abundant--& *eap--mat]ial4 ,%e might retaliate on h] p]secutors m frequ5tly ?an %e does by attribut+ mu* ( ! ridicule1 f9e & co>se1 heap$ on h]1 to envy1 f> mean] ?an ! meane/ ( h] pret5sions4 99 99 99 99 99 ,?us mu* = ! av]age specim5 at h] wor/4 ,! exceptions to ! ignoble p>v5u are num]\s en\gh to =m a class by !mselves4 ,x is n a disgrace 9 ?is c\ntry ( dizzy+ d[n-sitt+s & bewild]+ upris+s1 = m9]1 me*anic1 m]*ant or manufactur] to make money fa/4 ,x is to 8 cr$it :5 he insi/s t ! girl :o 0 poor] ?an himself :5 !y 7 m>ri$1 & :o has kept him at 8 be/ physical & m5tal e/ate ev] s9ce by wise managem5t ( _! mode/ h\sehold--mak+ e doll> d ! "w ( a doll>-&-a-qu>t] :ile fe$+ & clo?+ h] family--%\ld get ! full b5efit ( 8 *ang$ =tunes4 ,9 h\se1 furniture1 clo?+1 company1 & :at he names vaguely 8a good "t g5]ally10 he means t %e %all ruffle x ) ! brave/ ( h] associates4 ,he means also t ^! associates %all be 9 accord ) 8 means4 ,& ! int5tion ne$ n be 9 va94 ,a woman :o is by in/9ct a lady1 & :o is at all clev] 9 obs]v+ ! little ?+s %e lacks & acquir+ !m1 w f9d h]self 8receiv$0 by z _m delightful p z %e has "t =4 ,& inw>dly %e may take c\rage f a witty woman's rem>k1 8,i'd z soon be ! newly-ri* z ! always-poor40 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,mr4 ,,newlyri* ,h[ev]1 ! odds are all aga9/ ! *ances t our wor?y money-mak] himself w con=m 8 p]sonal behavior to ! new conditions4 ,husb&s ( 8 type leave 8all t sort ( ?+0 to wives & daught]s1 & make ! social advancem5t ( ^! wom5 h>d] !reby4 ,n ! lea/ =midable ob/acle 9 _! upw>d j\rney is ! /ubborn fact t 8y\r fa!r is q impossible40 ,sid5ote3 ,,social ,,poli% ,m51 z a :ole1 d n take poli% readily4 ,z ,john ,newlyri* did n we> a dress coat be=e he 0 tw5ty-"o he is seldom q at ease 9 a 8swall[-tail0 at =ty4 ,z a millionaire ( fifty1 he rebels aga9/ ! obligation to we> x to ! family d9n] e ev5+ 9 ! week4 ,if he has read ,dick5s1 :i* is h>dly likely1 he e*oes ,mrs4 ,b(f9's 8,lor'6 let u be com=table60 ,he butt]s a :ole slice ( bread1 us+ 8 knife tr[el-wise1 & if busy talk+ ( some?+ t int]e/s him p>ticul>ly1 he lays ! slice ^u ! clo? dur+ ! tr[el+4 ,he cuts up 8 salad1 & makes ! knife a good second to a =k :ile eat+ fi%4 ,loyal to ! memories ( e>ly life1 he nev] gets ov] ! habit ( speak+ ( d9n] z 8supp]10 & obs]ves 9 conv]sation at a fa%ionable reception1 8,z ,i 0 eat+ my d9n] at noon to-day40 ,9 l abs5t-m9d$ness1 he tucks 8 napk9 into 8 coll> to protect ! expanse ( %irt-front expos$ by ! l[-cut wai/coat ( 8 dress suit4 ,he says 8sir10 to 8 equals1 & addresses faceti\s rem>ks to ! butl]1 or draws ! waitress into conv]sation :ile meals are go+ on4 ,anxi\s wife & despair+ daught]s are grateful if he does n put 8 knife into 8 m\? :5 (f-gu>d4 ,trifles--are !y8 ,n to ! climb]s :o are ex]cis$ !reby4 ,!y are gravel betwe5 ! tee?1 & pebbles 9 ! da9ty foot-we> ( ,mrs4 ,newlyri*4 ,! hi/ory ( h] social /ruggles w\ld be incomplete )\t ! m5tion ( ?is drawback4 ,%e has le>n$ ! by-laws ( social usage by he>t1 &1 lov+ & loyal wife ?\gh %e is1 %e sometimes loses pati5ce ) ,john = n do+ ! same4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,prop] ,,social ,,aspiration ,9 ?is1 & 9 _m ano!r p]plexity1 m or less griev\s1 our h]o9e has our sympa?y & des]ves our respect4 ,we use ! ^w 8h]o9e0 advis$ly4 ,we h put ! weal?y pu%+ vulg>ian1 :o is "p ( ! /ock company ( c>icature & joke-wright1 entirely out ( ! "q4 ,%e has h] sph]e & h] rew>d4 ,our bus9ess is ) ! woman ( wor?y aspirations & innate ref9em5t1 rais$ by a :irl ( =tune's :eel f dec5t pov]ty to actual weal?4 ,%e has a natural desire to m+le on equal t]ms ) ! bett] sort ( ri* p4 ,%e is glad ( h] weal?1 b n purse-pr\d4 ,x has introduc$ h] to ano!r _w4 ,( h] social life x may be truly said t old ?+s h pass$ away & all ?+s h become new4 ,x w\ld be ph5om5al if %e fitt$ at once & easily into x4 ,money has b\ght h] f9e h\se1 & = money ! arti/ic uphol/]] has furni%$ x4 ,money has hir$ a /aff ( s]vants1 :]eas up to n[1 a maid-(-all-"w 0 h] sole 8help40 ,sid5ote3 ,,elegance ,,9 ,,spee* ,money does n enable h] to ma/] ! 8%ibbole?0 t w\ld be h] passport to ! l& %e w\ld possess4 ,& to mangle x into 8sibbole?0--z ! lea/ sophi/icat$ ( u "k--means social slaught] at ! passages ( ,jordan4 ,"o's spee* & mann] ( speak+ are ( ! fir/ importance socially1 & =tunately x is n difficult to improve !m if "o e>ne/ly det]m9es to d s4 ,"o may frankly take private lessons1 or "o may le>n mu* by li/5+ closely to ! talk ( p ( high social f9i%4 ,"o %\ld n1 h[ev]1 imitate slavi%ly or attempt ! impossible4 ,to use ! 8broad a0 gracefully "o mu/ ei!r h be5 born to x or assidu\sly tra9$ 9 "o's y\ng] days4 ,o!rwise x is b\nd to seem an affectation4 ,an error he>d ) surpris+ frequ5cy ev5 f well-educat$ p is ! use ( 8don't0 = 8doesn't40 ,9 ,sesame & ,lilies ,rusk9 rem>ks1 8,a false acc5t or a mi/ak5 syllable is en\gh 9 ! p>liam5t ( any civiliz$ nation1 to assign a man to a c]ta9 degree ( inf]ior /&+ =ev]40 ,?is is an extreme /atem5t1 ( c\rse1 b !re is mu* tru? 9 x4 99 99 99 99 99 ,"o ?+ ,mrs4 ,newlyri* sometimes mi/ak5ly p]mits is ! correct+ ( h] grammatical blund]s & h] husb&'s by _! bett]-educat$ *ildr54 ,to all[ ?is %[s a wrong s5se ( proportion4 ,x is inf9itely m important = a *ild to respect 8 p>5ts & to %[ !m respect ?an t ! laws ( ,l9dley ,murray be obs]v$4 ,sid5ote3 ,,z ,,to ,,=eign ,,phrases ,seldom use a =eign phrase ev5 if y h p]fectly ma/]$ its mean+ & pronunciation4 ,! 8well ( ,engli% undefil$0 is usually suffici5t = all ne$s4 ,p :o con/antly spr9kle _! conv]sation & lett]s ) 8diction>y0 ,fr5* or ,lat9 lay !mselves op5 to ! *>ge ( affectation4 ,c]ta9 =eign words once accord$ _! orig9al pronunciation are n[ habitually ,angliciz$4 ,"o ( ! commone/ ( ^! is 8valet10 :i* is n[ spok5 z if x 7 an ord9>y ,engli% ^w4 ,engage no s]vant :o patronizes y4 ,give y\r maids to und]/& at ! outset t y are ! head ( ! h\se1 & "k p]fectly well :at y want ea* "o to d1 & h[ y\r h\sehold is to be run4 ,be k9d ) all--famili> ) none4 ,!y are y\r sev]e/ critics4 ,nev] speak to !m ( y\r husb& by 8 ,*ri/ian "n4 ,y\r daught] %\ld be 8,miss ,m>y0 & y\r son 8,ma/] ,john0 9 ?is connection4 8,breakfa/ is on10 8,lun*eon is ready10 8,d9n] is s]v$0 are ! correct =mulas t y %\ld require at ! ann\ncem5t ( a meal4 ,ass]t y\rself ) dignity1 nev] defiantly4 ,y\r s]vants h no?+ to d ) y\r pa/1 or ) any?+ connect$ ) y\r p]sonal hi/ory beyond ! pres5t relation exi/+ betwe5 y & !m4 ,!y w discuss & criticize y bel[-/airs & on 8ev5+s out10 &1 9 ! ev5t ( 8*ang+ _! place10 to ! next mi/ress :o w /oop to li/5 to !m4 ,!y w\ld d ! same 7 y a pr9cess ) a ?\s&-ye>-old p$igree4 ,/& 9 y\r lot & be philosophical4 ,y c n be too punctili\s 9 n que/ion+ !m ab\t h[ 8?+s0 7 done 9 o!r h\ses 9 :i* !y h be5 employ$4 ,e su* qu]y w be con/ru$ into ignorance & diffid5ce4 ,be a law unto y\rself & unto !m4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,words ,,to ,,be ,,avoid$ ,le>n to speak ( y\r 8maid0 or 8maids10 n ( y\r 8girl40 ,if y h two1 call "o ! cook & ! o!r ! h\semaid4 8,girl0 is 9 itself a p]fectly good ^w b x has1 l "s o!r good words z 8g5teel10 become debas$ by gett+ into indiff]5t company4 ,9 ref]r+ to y\r family avoid ! ^w 8folks0 :i* has be5 decre$ inelegant4 ,sub/itute 8folk0 or 8p40 ,d n ov]work ! ^w 8lady10--nev] speak ( a 8saleslady10 ?\gh ?is does n mean t any p>ticul> girl or woman s]v+ beh9d a %op c\nt] may n be a lady 9 e ess5tial ( ! ^w4 ,tra9 y\rself 9 ! nice di/9ctions t dictate :5 "o %all say 8woman0 or 8lady10 :5 8man0 & :5 8g5tleman40 ,! t]ms 8lady fri5d0 or 8g5tleman fri5d0 are nev] to be us$4 ,nev] say 8,excuse me60 ,leave t to ! p]son :o calls h]self a 8saleslady40 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,social ,,awkw>dness ,yet y mu/ le>n h[ ! p live :om y w\ld meet ^u common gr\nd z old to !m z x is new to y4 ,y blu% 9 confess+ t y are bewild]$ z to ! ord] 9 :i* ! v>i\s =ks are to be us$ t lie beside y\r plate at ! few /ate d9n]s y att5d4 ,entres are _m1 & "s appall+ly unfamili>4 ,y wond] mutely :at ^! p w\ld ?9k ( y if !y knew t y 7 nev] 8tak5 90 to d9n] by a man until to-night1 & h[ n>r[ly y wat* ! ho/ess1 or ! woman across ! way be=e y d>e advance ^u ! c\rse set be=e y4 ,dread+ awkw>d /iffness t w\ld betray preoccupation1 y attract att5tion by a %[ ( gaiety unlike y\r usual behavior & unsuit$ to "t & place4 ,%\ld y make a mi/ake--su* z us+ a spoon in/ead ( ! ice-cream =k--y are aba%$ to mis]y4 ,don't apologize1 h[ev] gross ! solecism6 ,9 eighte5 times out ( tw5ty1 nobody has notic$ ! misadv5ture4 ,9 tw5ty cases out ( a score1 if x 7 obs]v$ y are ! "o p]son :o w\ld c>e a picayune ab\t x1 or ev] ?9k ( x aga94 99 99 99 99 99 ,ano!r c>d9al pr9ciple is to le>n to consid] y\rself z a m9ute fractional "p ( society4 ,:5 y\r "n is bawl$ out by u%] or footman at a l>ge p>ty1 x s\nds l ! trump ( doom 9 y\r unaccu/om$ e>s4 ,to y\r excit$ imag9ation all eyes are rivet$ ^u y4 ,9 po9t ( fact1 y are ( no m consequ5ce to ! eyes1 e>s & m9ds ( y\r fell[ gue/s ?an ! c>pet t seems to rise to meet y\r unc]ta9 feet4 ,/ubborn conviction ( y\r insignificance is ! fir/ /ep t c\nts 9 ! acquisition ( well-mann]$ composure among y\r fell[s4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,mak+ ,,acqua9tances ,9 =m+ new acqua9tances1 be c\rte\s 9 ! reception ( advances1 & sl[ 9 mak+ !m until y h reason to ?9k t y are lik$ = y\rself1 & n because y\r husb& repres5ts six1 or x may be sev5 num]als4 ,!re are sure to be doz5s ( critics :o w accuse y ( p>ad+ ^! figures1 z vessels fly bunt+ 9 ent]+ a /range h>bor4 ,/amp on y\r m9d t adv5titi\s circum/ance has no?+ to d ) ! wor? ( ,,y1 ,,y\rself6 99 99 99 99 99 ,= a long :ile aft] y emb>k ^u y\r new life1 be wat*ful & /udi\s--yet cov]tly1 le/ y\r /udy be not$4 ,return calls promptly1 s5d+ 9 ! "r numb] ( c>ds1 & be>+ y\rself 9 conv]sation ) g5tle self-possession4 ,nev] be flatt]$ by any att5tion into a flutt] ( pleasure4 ,above all1 d n be obsequi\s1 be ! p]son :o honors y by social notice a multi-millionaire1 or ! ,*ief ,magi/rate ( ^! ,unit$ ,/ates4 ,s]vility is inv>iably vulg>ity4 ,famili>ity is1 if possible1 a half-degree m repulsive4 ,self-respect & a :olesome oblivion ( doll>s & c5ts are a ca?olicon amid ! temptations ( y\r novel sph]e4 ,if y *ance to ent]ta9 "s "o :o is /ill z obscure z y 7 once y\rself1 avoid all temptation to make a display or to be patroniz+4 8,i am s glad y c\ld come to-night10 effusively comm5t$ su* a ho/ess to "o ( h] gue/s4 8,i "k y g out s seldom60 ,! gue/ 9 "q %[$ by h] sil5ce t %e did n reli% be+ publicly rem9d$ t %e 0 ( limit$ social opportunities4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,avoid ,,novelties ,:5 y beg9 to ent]ta9 9 y\r turn avoid1 scrupul\sly1 />tl+ effects & novelties ( all k9ds4 ,until y are us$ to ! task1 be /rictly conv5tional 9 arrangem5ts = y\r gue/s' reception & pleasure4 ,let floral decorations & 8s\v5irs0 be mode/ & ta/eful4 ,mantels bank$ ) or*ids1 b\tonnires ( ho?\se roses at a doll> apiece1 & cases ( exp5sive jewelry z favors1 may express a g5]\s hospitality on y\r "p & a desire to gratify ! acqua9tances y w\ld conv]t into fri5ds4 ,!y w surely be set d[n to o/5tati\s display ( means t few ( ! gue/s possess4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,help ,,f ,,books ,!re are manuals ( etiquette :i* w keep y f op5 solecisms 9 social usages4 ,foll[ _! rules ob$i5tly1 curb+ all disposition to orig9ality--= a :ile1 at lea/4 ,if possible1 keep ! gre$y society report] at a di/ance1 )\t ang]+ h]4 ,d n give away ! li/ ( ^? invit$1 mu* less ! m5u4 ,z ,dick ,fan%awe's eulogi/ said ( m5 :o 8jump ^u _! mo!rs10--8,"s does1 y "k60 ,"s ev5 s5d 9 to ! newspap]s unsolicit$ descriptions ( _! ent]ta9m5ts ) li/s ( gue/s1 to ! amusem5t ( ! editorial (fice4 ,^! mi/akes give occasion to ! a=em5tion$ c>tooni/s & joke-v5d]s to d]ide ! "n ( hospitality disp5s$ by ! ,newlyri* clan4 ,let ! a=esaid manual ( etiquette be foll[$ ) ob$i5ce1 b n ) s]vile & un?9k+ ob$i5ce4 ,un=tunately1 x is true t ! p]son unaccu/om$ to precise social regulations & to a =mal mann] ( liv+1 is incl9$ to consid] ! rules gov]n+ su* life z arbitr>y1 inexplicable & my/]i\s4 ,if ! un9itiat$ woman w disabuse h]self ( ?is idea1 %e has tak5 a long /ep 9 ! "r direction4 ,once y accept ! fact t !re is reason beh9d ! =ms employ$ by society1 x w n be long be=e y w be se>*+ = ! reason itself4 ,! laws gov]n+ ! conv5tional _w w !n acquire = y a mean+ t w make adh]5ce to !m simple & natural1 in/ead ( /iff & me*anical4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,le>n ,,to ,,discrim9ate ,! matt] ( discrim9at+ prop]ly 9 que/ions ( ta/e is a ?+ mu* m difficult to le>n ?an ! set & def9ite rules gov]n+ def9ite exig5cies ( social life4 ,yet ta/e1--ta/e 9 clo!s1 ta/e 9 ! objects surr\nd+ "o1 ta/e 9 all matt]s ) :i* exp5diture is conc]n$1--?is is a necessity 9 ! atta9m5t ( any social position wor?y ( ! "n4 ,9 ?is direction some?+ may be ga9$ by obs]vation1 ?\gh n until ! eye is suffici5tly tra9$ to make x a tru/wor?y guide4 ,! s5se ( beauty is some:at a matt] ( cultivation1 & its application to e-day life is ! result ( exp]i5ce & judgm5t4 ,d n imag9e t a color is becom+ to y m]ely because y happ5 to l x4 ,d n buy a *air or a c\* simply because ! "o or ! o!r may happ5 to please y\r fancy4 ,! color y we>1 ! furniture y buy mu/ h ref]5ce1 ! "o to y\r appe>ance1 ! o!r to its surr\nd+s4 ,sid5ote3 ,,consult+ ,,au?orities ,:5 "o is unv]s$ 9 ^! matt]s x is be/ to submit problems to an au?ority4 ,x is wis] to all[ a clev] modi/e to select ! color1 /yle & mat]ial ( "o's g[n ?an to d x "o's self4 ,x is bett] to put ! s*eme ( decoration = y\r h\se into ! h&s ( "s accompli%$ p]son1 educat$ to t end1 ?an to attempt x y\rself4 ,9 l>ge cities p]sons compet5t 9 ?is matt] ( h\sehold decoration may easily be f\nd1 p ^: bus9ess x is to act z paid ag5ts ( ! m beautiful & e/hetic way4 ,_m ar*itects h 9 _! employ p]sons :o are capable ( advis+ z to int]ior decoration & ( sup]9t5d+ ! "w4 ,if "o is resid5t 9 a small place1 ! difficulty is obviat$ by ! intellig5t aid (f]$ to ! que/ion] ?r\gh ! columns ( ! bett] magaz9es devot$ to e/hetics z appli$ to e-day liv+4 ,! advice giv5 9 ! be/ ( ^! publications is consci5ti\s1 c>eful1 exp]t advice4 99 99 99 99 99 ,"o especial po9t 9 h\se-furni%+ is wor? not+4 ,d n cr[d y\r beautiful ,ori5tal rugs toge!r1 b leave a surface ( poli%$ floor ab\t ea*4 ,rugs are floor pictures & %\ld h frames z well z wall pictures d4 ,! effect ( putt+ !m close ^u "o ano!r1 ?\gh se5 9 _m h\ses o!rwise well ord]$1 is in>ti/ic4 ,sid5ote3 ,,z ,,to ,,lion-,,hunt+ ,mrs4 ,newlyri* is frequ5tly criticiz$ = h] frequ5t fondness = lion-hunt+4 ,?is is n always fair4 ,if %e hunt because ( ! glory %e hopes to heap on h]self1 %e des]ves ridicule1 b if %e d x 9 ! _s ( g5u9e appreciation & a desire to give r>e pleasure to h] fri5ds %e p]=ms a real s]vice to art & to society & m]its praise = h] c\rage & k9dness1 n c5sure4 99 99 99 99 99 ,if ! woman :o is n[ weal?y 0 once a tra9$ nurse or a /5ograph]1 d n let h] be a%am$ ( ! fact n[4 ,if %e is frank & simple ab\t ! matt]1 s5sible p w respect h] = hav+ be5 honorably employ$4 ,if %e tries to hide ! tru?1 e "o w despise h] = x4 ,if %e avoid ! phrase--& ! ?\ght back ( x--s (t5 he>d1 8gett+ into society10 & w rememb] t all g5tle aspir+ p]sons are already memb]s ( ! be/ society1 %e w be help$ to /e] h] b>k aright4 99 99 99 99 99 ,bew>e ( any p]son :o attempts to exploit y 8= rev5ue only40 ,on ! o!r h&1 if y f9d "s "o :o = reasons ( s9c]e lik+ und]takes to %[ y ! social ropes1 y w be =tunate4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,value ,,( ,,mode/y ,i h said t x is n y\r fault t y 7 n born 9 ! purple4 ,nei!r is x ( y\r m]it & to y\r honor t y n[ walk 9 silk attire1 & may freely gratify dreams y w\ld once h consid]$ wildly impossible4 ,a c]ta9 /ead9ess ( attitude %\ld be /riv5 =4 ,don't be l a bell1 answ]+ helplessly to e contact4 ,imitate 9 y\r mann] t l>ge nobility ( ,horatio ( :om ,hamlet said1 8,a man t =tune's buffets & rew>ds ,ha/ ta'en ) equal ?anks4 ,!y are n a pipe = =tune's f+] ,to s\nd :at /op %e please40 ,! be/ ( all books enjo9s on ! sudd5ly-exalt$ to be m9dful ( ! pit f :5ce !y 7 digg$4 ,purse-pride is contemptible 9 its meanness & folly4 ,y are safe f ridicule if y keep ?is fact 9 m9d4 ,set up 8me0 & 8m9e0 9 8pe>l0 type1 & n 9 capitals4 ,a f9al injunction3 d n assume k ( :at y are really ignorant4 ,to d ?is is to lay traps = y\rself & to multiply emb>rassm5ts4 ,try to =e/all ! situation by private que/ion+2 if y c n d ?is say frankly t y d n "k4 ,,*apt] ,,xxx ,,delicate ,,po9ts ,,= ,,our ,,girl ,,?is *apt] is1 p]haps1 r a ,famili> ,talk ) ,our ,girl on ! proprieties--:i* %e may n recognize z su*--?an ! emphasiz+ ( v>i\s po9ts ( etiquette4 ,b ! violation ( ! ess5tials ( self-respect is s common t a book ( ?is "* %\ld h a *apt] devot$ to a bit ( pla9 speak+ to ! "y woman ( to-day4 ,we may call h] actions1 "u c]ta9 circum/ances1 a violation ( ! proprieties1 or ( etiquette1 or ( conv5tionality4 ,or1 p]haps1 x is a s9 aga9/ all ?ree4 ,we are accu/om$ to see+ ! sign 8,h&s (f60 hung ^u da9ty fabrics1--pure spotless mat]ials t w\ld be injur$ & /a9$ by ! t\*+ ( a glov$ or b>e h&4 ,p :o admire ! pure beauty ( ! article ?us m>k$ d n res5t ! sign4 ,!y see ! wisdom ( x & are will+ to obey ! m&ate4 ,= a fabric once soil$ nev] looks ! same aga94 ,all ! *emicals 9 ! c\ntry c n give x ! peculi> pri/9e fre%ness t 0 once its *ief beauty4 ,to ^? :o appreciate ! beauty ( y\?1 its pure fre%ness1 ! ?\ght ( its be+ t\*$ by indiscrim9ate h&s is abhorr5t4 ,sid5ote3 ,,keep+ ,a ,,man',s ,,respect ,we h1 happily1 pass$ ! ,lydia ,langui% age1 ! day 9 :i* ! "y girl 0 a fragile creature1 giv5 to fa9t+ & hy/]ics1 clo!d 9 innoc5ce t 0 ignorance1 good because %e 0 afraid to be naughty1 or because %e 0 s h$g$ 9 by conv5tionalities t %e did n h ! opportunity to /ray ne> ! out] edge ( ! pa/ure b>s4 ,9 h] place we h a heal?y1 fe>less1 cle>-ey$ "y p]son1 look+ life & its possibilities squ>e 9 ! face1 good because %e kn[s f obs]vation or he>say :at evil is1 & abhors x because x is evil4 ,%e is a si/]1 a *um1 a jolly companion to ! boy or man ) :om %e associates4 ,%e rides1 walks1 golfs or dances ) him4 ,%e may d1 & %e does1 all ^! ?+s1 & %e /ill keeps 8 respect4 ,?us f> we g1 & !n creeps 9 ! s9i/] "q3 ,does %e always d ?is8 ,! answ] comes promptly3 ,x is h] own fault if %e loses any man's respect4 ,to ^? ( u :o h out/epp$ girlhood1 :o h begun to live deeply ^! lives ( ours t are full ( pot5tialities = good or evil1 !re comes a ke5 insight1 &1 ) t insight1 our out] sight becomes m cle>2 &1 sometimes1 9 look+ at "y p1 we f9d our he>ts1 & almo/ our lips1 cry+ out1 8,,don',t60 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,bloom ,,( ,,! ,,pea* ,we w\ld n be--we are n--prudes1 b ! bloom ( ! pea* is beautiful1 & once rubb$ (f x c n be replac$4 ,! sn[-:ite fabric is too fair to be c>elessly h&l$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,responsibility ,,( ,,girls ,la/ w9t] ,i sat 9 a tra9-seat beh9d a girl ( eighte5 & a "y man a few ye>s h] s5ior4 ,%e 0 pretty & bright4 ,%e *att$ gaily ) h] companion1 :o1 aft] a few m9utes1 ?rew 8 arm ov] ! back ( h] seat4 ,to ! initiat$1 x 0 evid5tly done z a trial z to :e!r t k9d ( ?+ w\ld be all[$4 ,! girl1 int5t on ! conv]sation1 appe>$ n to notice ! action4 ,9 a few mom5ts ! h& re/+ aga9/ ! girl's %\ld] 0 laid ov] ! %\ld]4 ,! own] flu%$1 made "s laugh+ prote/1 b evid5tly adm9i/]$ no rebuke1 z ! (f5d+ memb] cont9u$ to re/ :]e x 01 !n gradually crept up t[>d h] neck2 f9ally1 at "s teas+ rem>k ( h]s1 x tweak$ h] e>4 ,_h ! *ild be5 old]1 ! look 9 ! man's eyes1 z he wat*$ ! fluctuations ( color 9 h] pretty face1 w\ld h w>n$ h] t %e 0 play+ ) fire2 t 8 respect = h] w\ld h be5 great] _h %e %[n 9 ! beg9n+ t ! sign1 8,h&s (f60 0 on h] p]son1 al?\gh invisible to ! vulg> eye4 ,?is is b "o ( ! _m in/ances ( ! free-&-easy actions on ! "p ( m51 p]mitt$ by well-mean+ girls4 ,9 n9e hundr$ & n9ety-n9e cases out ( a ?\s& a man w n take a lib]ty ) a girl unless %e all[s x4 ,sid5ote3 ,,is ,,b]n>d ,,%aw ,,"r8 ,i wi% girls w\ld be> ?is fact 9 m9d6 ,m5 are :at !y make !m1 :at !y all[ !m to be4 ,:5 a "y fell[ told a man 9 my pres5ce la/ week t su* & su* a girl 0 a 8jolly sort10 &1 :ile out driv+1 _h /opp$ at a roadh\se ) him1 gone into ! p>lor ( ! h\se & tak5 a glass ( g+] ale :ile he _h "o ( :isky1 ,i 0 n surpris$ t ! man ( ! _w to :om he imp>t$ ?is fact1 rem>k$1 8,crookd1 eh80 ,t ! "y fell[ 7:o1 _h he be5 old] or less easily flatt]$1 w\ld n h relat$ ! occurr5ce7 flu%$ & laugh+ly d5i$ ! allegation--did n alt] ! fact t ! conclusion drawn 0 inevitable4 ,! "y girl may n1 probably did n1 des]ve ! /ricture pass$ on h]1 b by h] free-&-easy behavior %e lo/ some?+ %e nev] c rega94 ,m5 may pay att5tion to girls :o ignore ! conv5tionalities1 :o all[ !m d\btful lib]ties1 b !y l !m because !y are :at !y t]m 8fun40 ,su* girls are n ^? = :om m5 live1 = :om !y sacrifice bad habits1 = :om !y look 9 seek+ a wife1 & = :om !y w\ld bravely give up life if necess>y4 ,! true love ( a good man is wor? w9n+4 ,x is n won by ! girl :o l[]s h]self 9 a man's eyes4 ,to h] might apply ! "t-worn toa/ ( man to 8,! ,new ,woman1--once our sup]ior1 n[ our equal40 99 99 99 99 99 ,ano!r po9t to :i* ,i w\ld draw ! att5tion ( our girl is t ! man %\ld make ! advances1 %\ld d ! seek+ & ! c\rt+4 ,to ?is %e w\ld reply1 8,:y1 ( c\rse6 ,all girls "k t40 ,!y may "k x !oretically1 b does e girl live up to t k8 ,does %e always wait to be s\ght1 to be won1 )\t tak+ a h& h]self at assi/+ de/9y8 ,i ?9k obs]vation w n prove t %e does4 ,9 ?is v free-&-easy age1 :5 m5 are too busy seek+ ! elusive mighty doll> to be ov]-eag] to %[ m>k$ att5tion to girls1 x is (t5 ! "y woman :o pays he$ to "s ( ! prelim9>ies ( ! c\rt+ p]iod4 ,x is frequ5tly %e :o sugge/s to a man1 aft] meet+ him sev]al times1 t %e w\ld be glad to h him call4 ,x is %e :o1 :5 he is go+ on a j\rney1 asks him if he w n write to h]4 ,x is %e :o asks him = 8 picture &1 on occasion1 (f]s him "o ( h]s4 ,sid5ote3 ,,keep+ ,,"o',s ,,self-,,respect ,x is1 & x has be5 ?r\gh c5turies1 ! place ( ! man to take ! initiative 9 su* matt]s4 ,if he wants to call on a girl1 let him1 z a rule1 h ! c\rage to ask h] if he may d s2 if he wi%es to correspond ) h]1 he %\ld ask h] p]mission to write to h]4 ,& if he does none ( ^! ?+s ( 8 own volition1 !y may g undone4 ,! girl :o1 ?r\gh love ( admiration1 or ! desire = m5's att5tion1 takes ^! initial /eps1 loses h] self-respect1 &1 unless ! man 9 "q be an exceptional in/ance1 awak5s 9 8 brea/ a s5sation ( amus$ int]e/4 ,he is flatt]$1 & a bit contemptu\s4 ,z "t goes on & he likes ! girl m & m1 t feel+ may be =got1 b x is always ly+ !re dormant1 & may arise sometime j :5 ! "y woman w\ld mo/ wi% = respect & love4 ,m5 prize t :i* !y h _h difficulty 9 w9n+4 ,! apple t drops1 ov]-ripe1 at "o's feet is nev] q s tempt+ z t :i* hangs j beyond rea*4 99 99 99 99 99 ,x is well = ! matt] ( sex to be put out ( m9d 9 _m ( ! deal+s betwe5 "y m5 & "y wom51 b 9 ! "q ( lov]ly att5tions x c n be ignor$4 ,& 9 ?is matt] x is ! man1 & ! man only1 :o %\ld make advances4 ,x is bett] = h] peace ( m9d t a girl %\ld nev] h ! m>k$ att5tion ( any man1 ?an t %e %\ld =get h] maid5ly dignity 9 ord] to acquire x4 ,su* acquisition is c]ta9ly n wor? ! price paid = x4 ,a man mu/ look up to t :i* he loves4 ,& a h>d-&-fa/ rule is ! slangy "o t decl>es t "o does n run aft] a c> :5 he has already caught x1 or :5 x /&s at ! corn] wait+ = him1 & ready to />t or /& at 8 w4 ,! girls = :om m5 f9d life wor? liv+ are ^? :o are ideals z well z companions4 ,sid5ote3 ,,h&s ,,(f ,de> girls1 be happy1 be m]ry1 h all ! h>mless fun t ! good ,god1 :o wi%es y to be happy1 s5ds y\r way4 ,b = ! sake ( ! man :o may "o day seek y & w9 y--= ! sake ( ! womanhood t he w\ld honor--let all m5 "k t y are label$--8,,h&s ,,(f60 & t y are n to be *eaply ga9$4 ,!y w love y bett]1 respect & honor y m = t k4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a s]i\s mi/ake (t5 made by girl /ud5ts & work+ girls is tak+ ! m5 :o call on !m to _! rooms4 ,9 mo/ cases ^! rooms are fitt$ up ) c\*es to look mu* l sitt+-rooms1 b ! m5 "k !y are n sitt+-rooms1 & ! girl :o receives m5 ?us suff]s = x 9 "n if n 9 fact4 ,x is a ?+ t a self-respect+ girl c n af=d to d1 ev5 once4 ,if %e expects to h m5 call on h]1 %e mu/ *oose a room 9 a h\se :]e %e may occasionally h ! use ( a p>lor4 ,! rul+ may seem h>d1 b !re is no gett+ r\nd x4 99 99 99 99 99 ,no "y girl c af=d to accept a lun*eon or d9n] invitation f a m>ri$ man or1 inde$1 any att5tion :atsoev]4 ,x does n matt] t he may be an 8old fri5d ( ! family10--^? :o see h] may n "k ?is &1 ev5 if !y d1 may n acquit h] ( h>m4 ,= simil> seasons1 a girl employ$ z secret>y 9 a man's (fice %\ld take c>e t ! relation betwe5 h] & h] employ] is purely "o ( bus9ess4 ,sid5ote3 ,,good ,,ta/e ,,9 ,,je/ ,sid5ote3 ,,delicacy ,,9 ,,conv]sation ,"o ( ! unfail+ te/s ( good bre$+ is :at "o laughs at4 ,)\t becom+ priggi%1 a girl %\ld discrim9ate betwe5 :at is a fit subject = je/ & :at is entitl$ to h] rev]5ce4 ,z a rule1 je/s ab\t bir?1 dea? & m>riage are to be avoid$4 ,a special ^w ( sugge/ion mu/ be giv5 9 connection ) ! fir/ ( ^! subjects4 ,if y are to speak ( a woman :o is to become a "m1 say frankly t %e is expect+ or be>+ a *ild4 ,! euphemisms employ$ 9 place ( ?is pla9 phrase are unspeakably vulg>4 ,x is nev] vulg> to be frank if ! p]son & ! circum/ances ju/ify ! introduction ( ! subject at all4 ,"o mu/ (t5 wi% = m ( ! old-fa%ion$ res]ve on intimate topics4 ,a critic ( mod]n wom5 said ( !m rec5tly3 8,among !mselves1 wom5 lose m delicacy ?an any man c\ld take f !m40 ,:5 "o li/5s agha/ to ! talk ( "s mod]n wom51 "o c b e*o ! /atem5t4 ,ak9 to ?is unbecom+ fre$om ( spee* is ! lack ( consid]ation sometimes %[n to an expectant "m by h] fri5ds4 ,comm5t 9 su* in/ances "o w\ld suppose w\ld be recogniz$ z ! height ( indelicacy1 b ?\ghtlessly1 & 9 a _s ( je/1 rem>ks are made t cause a s5sitive p]son to w9ce4 ,unless ! "m-to-be confides h] sacr$ expectations1 %e has e "r to h !m treat$ ) ! respect ( sil5ce1 & only a vulg>-m9d$ woman w intrude ^u h]4 ,,*apt] ,,xxxi ,,our ,,own ,,& ,,o!r ,,p',s ,,*ildr5 ,,con/ance ,,f5imore ,,woolson1 9 "o ( h] novels1 ?us describes a disc\rtesy to :i* mo!rs ( "y *ildr5 are mu* giv53 8,talk+ ) a "m :5 h] *ildr5 are 9 ! room is ! mo/ try+ ?+ conv]sationally2 %e li/5s to y ) "o e>1 b ! o!r is li/5+ to ,johnnie2 "r 9 ! mid/ ( some?+ v pa!tic y are tell+ h] %e w give a sudd51 p]fectly irrelevant smile ov] h] baby's la/ cr[1 & y\r be/ /ory is hopelessly spoil$ because %e loses ! po9t 7al?\gh %e pret5ds %e hasn't7 :ile %e arranges ! sa%es ( ,e!l & ,totsie40 ,!re is a prote/ 9 ! p>agraph quot$ t w f9d an answ]+ groan 9 _m a he>t4 ,:o ( u does n wi% t mo!rs ( small *ildr5 w\ld adopt a few rules ( ord9>y polit5ess & c\rtesy1 &1 :5 talk+ to a gue/1 give att5tion t is n %>$ & almo/ monopoliz$ by ! *ild :o happ5s to be pres5t8 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,small ,,boy ,p>5ts make ! mi/ake ( ?9k+ t _! *ildr5 mu/ be z absorb+ly int]e/+ to all visitors & acqua9tances z !y are to ^? to :om !y belong4 ,?is is a va/ mi/ake4 ,no matt] h[ fond "o may be ( ! "y ( 8 species1 "o does enjoy a conv]sation into :i* !y are n dragg$1 & talks ) m fre$om if !y are n pres5t4 ,c]ta9ly x is f> bett] = ! *ild to le>n to run (f & amuse himself ?an to sit by1 li/5+ to talk n meant = 8 e>s4 ,^? ( u :o 7 *ildr5 _m ye>s ago 7 n all[$ to make nuisances ( ourselves to ! ext5t t *ildr5 ( to-day d1 & surely we 7 happy4 ,9 "o home !re is a small boy1 v good1 & v affectionate1 ^: "m c n receive a call] )\t ! pres5ce ( ! ubiquit\s infant4 ,he sits /ill1 8 great eyes fix$ ^u ! face ( ! call]1 & %e feels a%am$ = wi%+ t he w\ld get out ( ! room4 ,occasionally he v>ies ! monotony by say+1 8,"m1 don't y want to tell ,mrs4 ,blank ab\t :at ,i said ! o!r day :5 ,i 0 hurt & did n cry80 ,or1 8,"m1 d y ?9k ,mrs4 ,blank w\ld l me to recite my new poem to h]80 ,?is may be annoy+1 b x is /ill m pitiful4 ,to talk s mu* to a *ild & ( him 9 ! pres5ce ( o!rs t he is a poseur at ! e>ly age ( five1 is cruel to ! little "o himself4 ,we fr[n on ! old adage :i* decl>$ 8*ildr5 %\ld be se5 & n he>d10 b !re are homes 9 :i* ! gue/ wi%es t !y might be invisible z well z inaudible4 ,"o "m def]s con/antly to h] f\rte5-ye>-old son1 & all[s him to be pres5t dur+ all *ats %e has ) h] fri5ds4 ,%e says1 8,y d n m9d ,w1 ,i am sure4 ,y may say :at y l :]e he is1 = he is ! s\l ( discretion1 & ,i talk freely ) him40 ,b ! visitor does n feel ! same confid5ce 9 8,w10 & c]ta9ly objects to express+ all h] op9ions ) reg>d to p & ?+s 9 8 pres5ce4 ,sid5ote3 ,,o!r ,,p',s ,,*ildr5 ,our own *ildr5 are int5sely int]e/+2 ! *ildr5 ( o!r p are1 z a rule1 n6 ,let u1 once 9 a :ile1 put ourselves 9 ! place ( ano!r p]son1 & ?9k if we are will+ to h t p]son's *ild always 9 ! room :5 we w\ld talk confid5tially ) h]4 ,i ?9k if we are frank we %all ackn[l$ge t :ile we d n m9d ! pres5ce ( our own *ildr51 we d talk m freely :5 o!r p's *ildr5 are n pres5t4 ,said a man n long ago3 8,mrs4 ,br[n is a m>vel\s woman4 ,%e is "o ( ! mo/ devot$ mo!rs ,i "k4 ,h] *ildr5 are ) h] a great "p ( ! "t4 ,yet1 :5ev] ,i call !re1 alone or ) a fri5d1 a signal f h] empties ! draw+-room or libr>y ( ! entire flock ( five infants1 & %e is j z mu* int]e/$ 9 :at h] call]s h to say z if %e _h no y\ng/]s cruis+ ab\t 9 ! (f+40 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,tra9+ ,,! ,,%y ,,*ild ,x is n to be suppos$ t *ildr5 are nev] to be all[$ to come into ! draw+-room4 ,!y %\ld be tra9$ to ent] ! room1 greet ! gue/s politely & )\t emb>rassm5t1 answ] frankly & /raight=w>dly1 & to speak :5 spok5 to4 ,!n1 !y %\ld be sil5t unless drawn into ! conv]sation4 ,! true/ k9dness is1 aft] a few mom5ts1 to let ! little ones run away & play ) _! toys or 9 ! outdoor air4 ,! *ild :o hangs 8 head %yly1 & refuses to speak politely to any "o :o addresses him1 %\ld be taught ! c\rtesy ( fri5dl9ess4 ,f ! cradle a baby may be taught to 8see p10 &1 z soon z he is old en\gh to return a greet+1 he mu/ be tra9$ to d s4 ,! only way to make small ladies & g5tlem5 ( *ildr5 is to tea*1 fir/ ( all1 p]fect ob$i5ce4 ,?is is1 9 ?is day1 an unpopul> doctr9e1 = !re is preval5t a !ory t ! *ild mu/ be all[$ to ex]cise 8 individuality1--9 o!r words1 to d z he pleases4 ,:y ! *ild %\ld develop 8 individuality1 & ! p>5ts curb !irs1 may be matt] = wond] to ^? n educat$ up to ?is tw5tie?-c5tury /&>d ( e?ics4 ,if 8days %\ld speak1 & multitude ( ye>s %\ld tea* wisdom10 ! fa!r & "m are bett] fitt$ to dictate to ! *ild ?an ! *ild to dictate to !m4 ,& yet1 9 ! av]age home1 ! la/-m5tion$ =m ( gov]nm5t (t5 prevails4 ,sid5ote3 ,,firmness ,,9 ,,control ,no?+ is m unk9d ?an to all[ a *ild to d always z he pleases1 =1 z surely z he lives1 he mu/ le>n soon] or lat] to yield to au?ority & to ex]cise self-control4 ,! e>li] ! tra9+ beg9s1 ! easi] x w be4 ,! *ild creep+ ab\t ! room soon kn[s t ! g5tle b firm 8,no60 :5 spok5 by ! "m means t he mu/ n t\* ! bit ( bric--brac )9 rea*4 ,& ev5 ?is lesson w /& him 9 good /ead lat] on4 ,! basic pr9ciple ( home gov]nm5t mu/ be love en=c$ by firmness4 ,a puni%m5t %\ld seldom be ?reat5$1 b if ?reat5$1 mu/ be giv54 ,! "t = ?reat & puni%m5t is n 9 public4 ,9 ! p>lor1 on ! tra9 or boat1 x is ! height ( ill-bre$+ to make a sc5e & to ?reat5 a puni%m5t ( any k9d4 ,7 ! *ild prop]ly tra9$ 9 private1 p>5ts & behold]s w\ld be sp>$ ! humiliat+ spectacle t too (t5 confronts !m 9 visit+ & travel+4 99 99 99 99 99 ,"o ^w "h z to ! *ild on tra9 or boat4 ,! p]son :o is truly well-br$ w n turn & fr[n on ! "m ( ! t9y baby :o1 suff]+ ) colic1 or sore f travel+1 is wail+ al\d4 ,( c\rse ! s\nd is annoy+1 b x is h>d] on ! poor mortifi$ "m ?an on any "o else4 ,i already he> ! "q1 8,:y doesn't %e keep ! infant at home !n80 ,frequ5tly %e c n d ?is4 ,! *ild may be ill1 & be on its way to sea%ore or m\nta9s to ga9 heal?2 or ! "m may be summon$ to see "s relative1 & c n g unless ! baby goes too4 ,:atev] ! cause ( h] go+1 ! fact rema9s t %e d]ives no pleasure f hold+ a scream+ baby1 & h] discom=t is turn$ into positive angui% by ! disgu/$ looks ( ! wom51 & ! mutt]$ imprecations ( ! m54 ,sid5ote3 ,a ,,k9dly ,,travel] ,i saw once "u su* circum/ances a woman :o 0 an honor to h] sex4 ,opposite h] 9 ! tra9 sat a "y "m1 & 9 h] arms 0 a fretful wail+ baby4 ,x 0 evid5tly ! fir/ baby1 & ! poor girli% "m 0 :ite & we>y4 ,at e scream ! baby gave %e w\ld />t n]v\sly1 *ange ! little "o's position1 look ab\t at ! pass5g]s ) an expression ( pa!tic apology1--all ! "t keep+ up a croon+ 8,%-h-h60 t produc$ no effect on ! cry+ atom ( humanity4 ,&1 z is (t5 ! case1 ! m n]v\s ! "m became1 ! m n]v\s did ! baby gr[1 & ! l\d] did he scream4 ,an exclamation ( impati5ce came f a woman seat$ beh9d ! suff]+ twa91 &1 at ! same mom5t1 a man 9 front ?rew d[n 8 pap] ) a slam & ru%$ out ( ! c> & into ! smok]4 ,!n ! woman :o 0 an honor to h] sex came across f ! seat opposite1 & laid a g5tle h& on ! "m's %\ld]1 smil+ reassurance 9 ! te>-fill$ eyes lift$ to h]s4 ,sid5ote3 ,,true ,,c\rtesy 8,my de>10 said ! s(t voice1 8y are worn out1 & ! baby kn[s x4 ,let me take him = a m9ute4 ,no1 don't prote/6 ,i h _h f\r ( my own1 & !y are all too big = me to hold 9 my arms n[4 ,i j long to feel t baby aga9/ my %\ld]6 ,give him to me6 ,!re1 n[6 y poor1 tir$ little "m1 put y\r head d[n on ! back ( ! seat1 & re/60 ,%e took ! baby across ! aisle1 laid him ov] h] %\ld] ) 8 head aga9/ h] *eek1 9 ! com=t+ way kn[n to all baby-lov]s1 & 9 ?ree m9utes ! cries _h subsid$ & ! baby 0 asleep 9 ! /rong mo!rly arms1 :]e he lay until ,j]sey ,city 0 rea*$4 ,& ! tir$ little "m fell into a light slumb]1 too1 com=t$ by ! appreciation t %e 0 n alone1 nor an intol]able nuisance to all h] fell[ pass5g]s4 ,0 n su* an act z ?is woman's ! p]fection ( true c\rtesy1 ! c\rtesy t =gets itself 9 try+ to make ano!r com=table8 ,sid5ote3 ,,tea*+ ,,good ,,mann]s ,?is same _s spok5 ( by ,sa9t ,paul z 89 honor pref]r+ "o ano!r0 c be inculcat$ 9 ! *ildr5 9 our homes4 ,! small ( ! human species are1 l _! eld]s1 naturally selfi%1 & mu/ be taught consid]ation = o!rs4 ,x is ! graft+ t makes ! rose :at x is4 ,y may graft a ,jacquem9ot or ,m>*al ,neil ^u ! /ump ( ! wild rose4 ,! graft+1 ! prun+1 & ! tra9+ are ! "w ( ! c>eful g>d5]4 ,! "m c nev] be idle1 =1 :ile ! /ock is !re1 %e does ! graft+4 ,ob$i5ce mu/ be taught 9 small ?+s z well z 9 great4 ,! t9y *ild mu/ be taught to remove 8 hat :5 he is spok5 to1 to give 8 h& readily 9 greet+1 to say 8please0 & 8?ank y02 n to pass 9 front ( p1 or betwe5 !m & ! fire2 to say 8excuse me60 :5 he treads on 8 "m's foot or dress2 to rise :5 %e ent]s ! room2 & to take (f 8 hat :5 he kisses h]4 ,! "m :o insi/s t h] *ild d ^! ?+s at home ne$ n fe> t he w =get h] tra9+ :5 abroad4 ,,*apt] ,,xxxii ,,our ,,neighbors ,,! fact t p live next door to y does n make !m y\r neighbors 9 ! high] & bett] s5se ( t ^w4 ,!re may be no?+ 9 _! p]sons or *>act]s to comm5d !m to y1 or = t matt]1 to comm5d y to !m4 8,neighborhood0 9 lit]al int]pretation signifies ne>ness ( vic9ity4 ,y h ! "r to *oose y\r associates & to elect y\r fri5ds4 ,presum+ on ?is tru?1 dwell]s 9 cities are prone to vaunt _! ignorance (1 & indiff]5ce to1 ^? :o live 9 ! same /reet1 block & ap>tm5t-h\se ) !mselves4 ,if newly come to :at is a k+dom by comp>ison ) _! =m] e/ate1 !y make a po9t ( seek+ society else:]e ?an among resid5ts ( _! neighborhood4 8,let u be g5teel or die60 says ,dick5s ( ,mrs4 ,field+'s /ruggles to eat d9n] ) gloves on4 8,let u be exclusive or cease to live60 says ,mrs4 ,up/>t1 & refuses to le>n ! names ( h] neighbors on ! "r & left4 ,"o ( ! hall-m>ks ( ! ?or\ghbr$ is 8 daily application ( ! maxim1 8,live & let live40 ,8 social /&+ is s firm t a jo/le1 or ev5 a pu% f a vulg>ian :o *ances to pass 8 way1 c n di/urb him4 ,:5 ! mongrel cur bay$ at ! moon1 8! moon kept on %9+40 ,if he be a g5tleman 9 he>t z well z 9 blood & "n1 he has a real int]e/ 9 p :o brea! ! same air & tread ! same /reet ) himself--int]e/ z f> remov$ f vulg> curiosity 9 o!r p's conc]ns z ! g5tle c\rtesy ( 8 demeanor is remov$ f ! famili> bumpti\sness ( ! =w>d & und]br$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,*ance ,,salutations ,ent]+ ourselves z le>n]s 9 8 s*ool--& we c\ld n /udy mann]s 9 a bett]--we recognize our neighbors z su*4 ,if we live on ! same block & meet habitually on ! /reet1 a civil b[ 9 pass+1 a smile to a *ild1 9 *ance enc\nt]s 9 m>ket or %op1 a ^w ( salutation1 be x only a 8,good morn+10 or 8,x is a f9e day60 or1 aft] a few ex*anges ( ?is sort--8,i hope y\r family keeps well 9 ?is try+ wea!r0--are tok5s ( good-w & appreciation ( ! fact t we are dwell]s 9 ! same _w1 t[n & neighborhood4 ,sid5ote3 ,,c\rte\s ,,inquiries ,none ( ^! m9ute c\rtesies :i* y owe to y\rself & to y\r neighbor lays on y any obligation to call1 or to invite h] to call on y4 ,failure to compreh5d ?is social by-law (t5 causes he>t-burn+s & d[nright res5tm5t4 ,y may ?us meet & greet a woman liv+ ne> y e day = tw5ty ye>s1 & if "s /rong] bond ?an ! accid5t ( proximity does n draw y toge!r1 y may "k no?+ m ( h] ?an h] "n & address at ! end ( t "t--p]haps ! address alone4 ,unless1 inde$1 casualty 9 ! way ( fire1 p]sonal injury or sev]e illness1 makes exp$i5t--& to ! humane su* exp$i5cy is an obligation--fur!r recognition ( ! tie ( neighborhood4 ,9 ei!r ( ! cases indicat$1 s5d to ask aft] ! heal? ( ! suff]]1 & if y c be ( s]vice4 ,if !re be a dea? 9 ! h\se1 a civil inquiry to ! same effect & a c>d ( sympa?y w 8commit0 y to no?+4 ,we are work+ n[ on ! assumption t ea* ( u has a s9c]e desire to bright5 ! pa?way ( o!rs1 to make ?is h>d bus9ess ( daily liv+ m tol]able4 ,( all ! passive endurances ( life1 /rang]hood is "o ( ! h>de/ to ! s5sitive _s4 ,y\r neighbor's he>t is light] because y %[ t y are aw>e ( h] exi/5ce &1 9 "s sort1 recognize h] id5tity4 ,%e may n be y\r cong5]4 ,y\r b[ & smile rem9d h] t y are h] fell[ human be+4 ,/rang] %ips meet+ 9 mid-ocean d n wait to inspect cr$5tials be=e ex*ang+ salutes4 99 99 99 99 99 ,if y\r neighbor be an acqua9tance :om y e/eem1 d n let h] be 9 d\bt on ?is po9t4 ,sid5ote3 ,,9 ,,plantation ,,days ,9 ante-bellum days at ! ,s\?1 neighborhood 0 a p[]ful bond ( sympa?y4 ,miles meant less to !m 9 ?is respect ?an s _m squ>es mean to u n[4 ,a sy/em ( wireless telegraphy connect$ plantations = an area ( _m miles4 ,joy or sorr[ set ! curr5t 9 motion f "o end to ! o!r4 ,:at ,i h call$ else:]e be+ 8kit*5ly-k9d10 0 compreh5d$ 9 p]fection 9 t bygone "t4 ,:5 ! h\se-"m s5t a pot ( pres]ves to h] neighbor ) h] love1 & 8%e w\ld l to "k h[ y all are to-day10 x 0 ! outw>d & sub/antial sign ( ! inw>d grace ( lov+ k9dness1 & n an intimation t ! recipi5t's pres]ve-closet 0 n s well-/ock$ z ! giv]'s4 ,:5 op5$ hamp] & unfold$ napk9 %[$ a qu>t] ( lamb1 or a /eak1 or a roll ( home-made 8sausage meat10 en\gh neighborly love g>ni%$ ! gift to make x beautiful4 ,out-(-fa%ion n[adays8 8',tis true3 'tis true 'tis pity2 ,& pity 'tis 'tis true40 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,be/ ,,p ,en\gh ( ! old-"t _s lives among our really 8be/ p0 to ju/ify ! 8kit*5ly-k9d0 9 pr(f]+ gifts t presuppose p]sonal lik+ & active desire to please a neighbor4 ,a cake comp\nd$ by y\rself2 a plate ( home-made rolls tak5 f y\r own table2 a da9ty fancy di% ( sweets ( home-manufacture1 express m ( ! 8real ?+0 ?an a box ( confection]y or a basket ( fl[]s put up by a flori/4 ,x is ! p]sonal t\* t glorifies ! gift1 ! consci\sness t y\r neighbor ?9ks en\gh ( y to give ( h] "t & s]vice = y\r pleasure4 ,! home-made (f]+ p>takes ( h] individuality1 & appeals to y\rs4 99 99 99 99 99 ,neighborl9ess does n1 ( necessity1 imply famili>ity ( mann] & spee* t may become (f5sive1 or a cont9u\s p]=mance ( visits1 calls & 8dropp+s-90 t mu/ inevitably become a bore1 h[ev] cong5ial may be ! association4 ,^? fri5d%ips la/ longe/ :]e c]ta9 decor\s =ms are always obs]v$1 no matt] h[ close ! mutual affection may be4 ,mrs4 ,/[e1 9 "o ( h] ,new ,engl& /ories1 describes ! int]c\rse betwe5 two families z 8a sort ( undress intimacy40 ,read+ fur!r1 we f9d t ?is di%abille companion%ip involves visits by way ( ! back door & at all sorts ( unconv5tional h\rs4 ,sid5ote3 ,,back-,,door ,,visit+ ,su* ab&onm5t ( ! res]ves t etiquette enjo9s on e h\sehold is a dang]\s exp]im5t4 ,! back por* is = family use4 ,y\r next-door neighbor may n m$dle !re)4 ,p]sonally1 ,i d n want my own son1 or my m>ri$ daught]s1 to ent] my h\se ?r\gh ! kit*54 ,if y1 de> read]1 w\ld reta9 y\r foot+ 9 ! h\se ( ! fri5d be/-lov$ by y1 come 9 by ! front door1 & nev] )\t ann\nc+ y\r pres5ce z any o!r visitor w\ld4 ,/eady p]si/5ce 9 ?is rule w avoid ! *ances ( div]s unpleasant possibilities4 ,y\r ho/ess--or h] husb&--or gr[n son--may be z mu* 9 di%abille z ! intimacy :i*1 9 y\r op9ion1 w>rants y 9 runn+ 9 & up1 )\t knock or r+4 ,y may happ5 on a love-sc5e1 or a family qu>rel1 or a girl may be 9 ! h&s ( ! treasure ( a hair-dress] :o %ampoos h] twice a mon? ) pure wat] t looks l p]oxide ( hydrog51 & 8re/ores0 ! subject's d>k br[n tresses to ! guileless flax5 ( h] =gott5 babyhood2 or y\r clatt]+ heels ^u ! /airway may break ! t\*y old gr&mo!r's be/ aft]noon nap4 ,!re is b "o place on e>? :]e x is safe to make y\rself 8p]fectly at home10 & t is y\r own h\se--or ap>tm5t--or *amb]4 ,,*apt] ,,xxxiii ,,*ur* ,,& ,,p>i% ,,!oretically1 ! *ur* is a pure democracy1 a mighty family4 ,!re1 if any:]e1 ! ri* & ! poor meet toge!r on t]ms ( absolute equality4 ,9 t lea/ poetical ( pi\s j+les1-- 8,ble/ be ! tie t b9ds10-- we decl>e t 8,! fell[%ip ( k9dr$ m9ds ,is l to t above40 ,^! & o!r ,pieti/ic platitudes1 :e!r tame or tuneful1 are te*nical1 & s ne>ly mean+less z n to provoke debate4 ,e reasonable man & woman kn[s & does n affect to conceal 8 or h] consci\sness ( ! tru? t social di/9ctions are n effac$ by ! enrolm5t ( ri* & poor1 educat$ & illit]ate1 ref9$ & boori%1 9 imp>tial ord] ^u ! 8*ur* books40 ,true religion does ref9e feel+ & eng5d] b5evol5ce & *>itable judgm5t ( our fell[s4 ,9 do+ ?is1 x creates a common gr\nd ( sympa?y1 z ( belief4 ,x elevates ! moral & spiritual nature4 ,( itself1 x does n enri* ! intellect1 or poli% mann]s4 ,"o may h a clean he>t & dirty fle%-&-blood h&s2 may be a s9c]e & e>ne/ ,*ri/ian1 yet d\ble 8 negatives1 %ove 8 food into 8 m\? ) 8 knife1 pref] ! corn] ( a table-clo? to a napk91 & be an ali5 9 ! matt] ( f+]-b[ls4 ,x is possible t two wom5 may "w toge!r h>moni\sly 9 *ur* & p>i% associations1 ea* e/eem+ ! o!r's excell5t qualities ( he>t & enjoy+ ! fell[%ip ( h] 8k9dr$ m9d10 & yet t bo? %\ld be int5sely uncom=table if =c$ into reciprocal social relations t h no?+ to d ) *ur* or *>ity4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,reasonable ,,view ,^! are pla9 facts no reasonable p]son w dispute4 ,9 view ( !m ! fact1 equally pat5t1 t ! ,newlyri* clan sometimes resort to *ur* connection z a lev] to raise !m to a high] social plane1 is "o ( ! anomalies ( human int]c\rse t may well /ir ! satiri/ to bitt] ridicule & move compassionate behold]s to wond]4 8,:5 !y beg9 to feel _! oats !y g (f to y60 laugh$ ! ke5-witt$1 sweet-natur$ pa/or ( a d[n-t[n *ur* to a bro!r cl]gyman ^: flock wor%ip$ 9 a f9] build+ & a fa%ionable neighborhood4 8,! %eep ) ! gold5 fleece always f9ds a brea* 9 our *ur*-wall40 ,x takes him1 8 ewe & 8 lambs1 a long "t to le>n t pew proximity does n br+ ab\t social sympa?y4 ,x is n a week s9ce ,i saw a girl1 a ?or\ghbr$ f cr[n to toe1 flu% 9 surprise & draw h]self up 9 unconsci\s hauteur1 :5 a fla%ily-dress$ "y p]son greet$ h] across ! ve/ibule ( a conc]t-room ) 8,hello1 ,nellie6 didn't we h a bully "t la/ night80 ,!y _h att5d$ a ,sunday-s*ool anniv]s>y1 &1 z _! classes 7 side by side1 _h ex*ang$ rem>ks 9 ! int]vals ( recitations1 songs & addresses4 ,! p>v5u's clo!s 7 m co/ly ?an 8,nellie's20 h] fa!r 0 ri*]2 !y 7 memb]s ( ! same *ur*6 ,to h] vulg> m9d ^! circum/ances gave h] ! "r to take a lib]ty ) a slight acqua9tance su* z no well-br$ p]son w\ld h dream$ ( assum+4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,y\r ,,pew ,,neighbor ,fir/1 !n1 ,i place among ! maxims ( *ur* & p>i% etiquette3 ,d n imag9e t y\r next-pew neighbor mu/ be y\r fri5d4 ,if %e be a newcom] & a /rang] 9 ! congregation1 b[ to h] 9 meet+ 9 lobby or 9 aisle cordially1 recogniz+ h] z a fell[ wor%ip] 9 a temple :]e all are welcome & equal4 ,if y c be ( s]vice to h] 9 f9d+ ! place ( hymn or psalm1 %\ld %e be at a loss1 p]=m ! neighborly s]vice tactfully & graci\sly1--always because y are 9 ! ,h\se ( ! ,all-,fa!r1 & are ,8 *ildr51--n t y seek to c\rt a mortal's favor = any ult]ior purpose4 ,9 meet+ h] on ! /reet1 let y\r salutation be ready & pleasant1 b n famili>4 ,don't 8,hello1 ,nellie60 h]1 !n or ev]1 :ile be>+ 9 m9d t non-recognition ( "o y "k to be a regul> att5dant at ! same *ur* ) y\rself1 yet a comp>ative /rang] !re1 is unk9d & un-,*ri/ian4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,/rang] ,,9 ,,*ur* ,! case is diff]5t if y are ! /rang]4 ,fri5dly advances %\ld come f ! o!r side4 ,if !y are n made1 !re is no?+ = y to d b to cont5t y\rself ) ! recollection t y g to *ur* to wor%ip ,god1 n to make acqua9tances4 ,nev] dep5d on y\r *ur*-connection = society4 ,if y f9d cong5ial associates !re1 rejoice 9 ! happy circum/ance & make ! mo/ ( x4 ,if y d n1 d n rail at ! congregation z 8/iff & /uck up10 at ! *ur* z a holl[ %am1 & ! pa/or z an unfai?ful %eph]d4 ,! expectation on ! "p ( "s p t he %\ld neglect ! weighti] matt]s ( ! law & ! gospel1 & pro/itute 8 holy (fice by becom+ a social pudd+-/ick = incorporat+ into 8a jolly cr[d0 ! div]s elem5ts ( ^? to :om he is call$ to m9i/]1 disgraces humanity & civilization--n to say ,*ri/ianity4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,pew ,,hospitality ,pew hospitality has fall5 into disuse to a great ext5t ( late ye>s1 pr9cipally on acc\nt ( ! u%]-s]vice4 ,! t5d5cy ( ?is p>tial desuetude is to make pew own]s utt]ly c>eless ( _! obligation to ent]ta9 /rang]s4 ,reg>d = ! be/ int]e/s ( y\r p>ticul> *ur*-organization %\ld sugge/ to y z a duty t y notify ! u%] 9 y\r aisle ( y\r will+ness to receive /rang]s into y\r pews :5ev] ! "o or two vacant seats !re may be ne$$4 ,if y\r family fills !m all e ,sunday1 y c n ex]cise ! grace ( hospitality4 ,:5 "o or two1 or ?ree1 are to be abs5t f ei!r s]vice1 h[ev]1 take ! tr\ble to apprise ! (t-sorely-p]plex$ (ficial ( ! fact1 & give him leave to br+ to y\r door any "o he has to seat4 ,:5 ! /rang] appe>s1 let him see at once t y e/eem 8 com+ a pleasure4 ,give him a good seat1 a book & a welcome g5]ally4 ,by ?is behavior y comm5d to 8 favor y\r *ur*1 human nature & ! cause de>e/ to y\r he>t4 ,if y are ! visit+ wor%ip]1 & x is evid5t t ! o!r occupants ( ! pew are ! own]s !re(1 make c\rte\s & grateful ackn[l$gm5t at ! close ( ! s]vice1 ( ! hospitality y h receiv$4 ,i hope ! return y get w n be ! cold sup]cili\s />e "o true g5tlewoman _h f ! hold] ( a pew 9 ! middle aisle ( a fa%ionable *ur* 9 ,new ,york4 ,! gue/ put into ,mrs4 ,haut ,ton's pew ?ank$ ! latt] simply & gracefully = ! opportunity giv5 h] ( he>+ an admirable s]mon4 8,:o are y t d>e address me60 said ! sil5t />e4 8,x is bad en\gh to h my pew invad$ by an unv\*$-= /rang] )\t be+ subject$ to ! imp]t95ce ( spee*60 ,! la/ place ^u ,god's e>? :]e incivility & ! arrogance ( self-conceit are admissible is ,8 h\se4 8,be pitiful10 writes ! apo/le :o le>n$ 8 code ( mann]s f ,"o :o has be5 n irrev]5tly call$ 8! true/ g5tleman :o ev] liv$40 8,be pitiful2 be c\rte\s60 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,pa/or',s ,,family ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,pa/or',s ,,call ,! relations ( p>i%ion] & ! pa/or's family are (t5 /ra9$ h>d by ! popul> misconception ( ! social obligations exi/+--or t %\ld exi/--betwe5 !m4 ,9 no 8call0 t ,i ev] he>d ( is ! cl]gyman enjo9$ to cat] to ! :ims & vanities ( exact+ memb]s by visits t are n dem&$ by spiritual or temporal ne$s1 & :i* m9i/] to no?+ b ! a=esaid jeal\s vanity4 ,s5d = a cl]gyman :5 8 prie/ly (fices are requir$4 ,= ! re/ ( 8 preci\s "t let him come z he likes1 & g :i!r he consid]s 8 duty calls him4 ,he 0 a man be=e he took ord]s1 & ! man has social rights4 ,let him 8neighbor10 z old-fa%ion$ folk us$ to say1 ) 8 k9d4 ,! a=esaid 8call0 makes no m5tion ( 8 family4 ,if y l to call on !m :5 !y come to ! p>i%1 & if y f9d !m cong5ial--y\r cong5]s1 9 fact--keep up ! association z y w\ld ) y\r doctor's1 or y\r lawy]'s family4 ,t y belong to ,doctor ,b>nabas' p>i%1 t y are ! wife or daught] ( an (fic] 9 8 *ur*1 gives y absolutely no claim on 8 wife or daught]s beyond :at y1 individually1 possess4 ,to dem& t ,mrs4 ,b>nabas1 ref9$ 9 e in/9ct1 highly educat$ & ) ta/es = :at is be/ & highe/ 9 social companion%ip1 %\ld be bulli$ & patroniz$ by ,mrs4 ,million1 a purse-pr\d vulg>ian1 unle>n$ & /upid1 is %e] b>b>ity4 ,yet we see x--& worse--9 _m ,am]ican *ur*es4 ,sid5ote3 ,a ,,false ,,assumption ,d y1 s5sible & am5able read]1 lead ! way to bett] ?+s2 loos5 at lea/ "o buckle ( ! h>ness t b[s _m a f9e _s to break+1 & makes ! *ur* a smoke 9 ! no/rils ( unprejudic$ outsid]s4 ,sep>ate ecclesia/ical f social relations4 ,owe y\r "r to call a fell[ p>i%ion] 8fri5d10 & to visit at manse or p>sonage1 or rectory1 to :at y are--n to ! adv5titi\s circum/ance ( be+ a memb] 9 good /&+ 9 a fa%ionable1 or an unfa%ionable1 *ur*4 ,exact no consid]ation f ^? :o belong ) y to ! h\sehold ( fai? on ! gr\nd ( t spiritual 8fell[%ip40 ,! position is false2 ! claim ignoble4 99 99 99 99 99 ,no matt] :at *ur* "o is 91 "o %\ld always try to con=m z f> z possible to its ord] ( wor%ip4 ,n to d ?is %[s a want ( prop] rev]5ce4 ,,*apt] ,,xxxiv ,,! ,,woman',s ,,club ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,tol]ant ,,attitude ,,! popul>ity ( wom5's societies = lit]>y /udy1 = economic discussion1 = ! consid]ation ( municipal & social improvem5t1 is enorm\s4 ,!y are to be f\nd all ov] ! c\ntry1 b p>ticul>ly d !y fl\ri% 9 ! ,middle ,we/1 :]e e t[n & hamlet 9 ! region boa/s a woman's club ( "s sort4 ,bo? ridicule & praise are %[]$ ^u ^! organizations2 & !y des]ve bo?4 ,"s ( _! manife/ations are crude1 absurd & tiresome2 o!rs are f9e 9 !mselves1 ex]t a broad5+ influ5ce ov] ^? intimately conc]n$1 & are helpful indirectly to ! :ole community repres5t$ by !m4 ,h[ev] mu* p>ticul> societies may lay !mselves op5 to adv]se criticism by reason ( priggi%ness1 sup]ficiality or a mi/ak5 s5se ( _! importance 9 ! s*eme ( ?+s1 x mu/ be ackn[l$g$ t ! g5]al t5d5cy ( ^! organizations is good4 ,!y lift wom5 out ( ! consid]ation ( ! commonplace1 dome/ic side ( exi/5ce2 !y enc\rage tol]ation & a give-&-take attitude t[>d life1 9 :i* attitude wom5 are (t5 lack+2 !y op5 a way = ! developm5t ( lat5t tal5t ( v>i\s k9ds2 !y are (t5 /epp+ /ones to improvem5t 9 ! social life ( a community4 ,x w\ld be h>d to e/imate h[ mu* !y h done 9 creat+ an atmosph]e = ! truly arti/ic & lit]>y elem5t 9 v>i\s communities ?r\gh\t ! ,unit$ ,/ates4 ,no d\bt !y h 9 ?is way enc\rag$ ! production ( lit]ature & o!r =ms ( art2 :ile1 9 humbl] fa%ion1 !y h br\ght pleasure & an outlook into _m n>r[ circumscrib$ lives4 ,an ,engli% woman1 visit+ 9 a we/]n city ( our c\ntry1 0 ask$ :at "o ( our in/itutions %e admir$ ! mo/4 8,! ,woman's ,club10 %e repli$ )\t hesitation1 & add$ t %e w\ld l to transplant x to h] native l& :]e1 x 0 true1 !re 7 associations ( wom5 b&$ toge!r = v>i\s purposes1 b none 9 :i* wom5 met 9 su* easy & happy intellectual relations z 9 ! wom5's clubs ( ,am]ica4 ,su* praise f an unprejudic$ obs]v] ( our c\ntry consoles ! woman :o believes 9 ! mission ( ! woman's club despite _m an ugly newspap] fl+4 ,! ,engli% woman 9 "q 0 =tunate 9 att5d+ a club ( p>ticul> int]e/ & value :]e1 to a degree1 ! ideal ( :at a woman's club %\ld be 0 realiz$4 ,su* a club indicates ! possibilities ( ! in/itution1 h[ev]2 & _m organizations ( wom5 are work+ ) crude mat]ial ?r\gh absurd phases t[>d accompli%m5t z happy4 ,9 small communities :]e ! opportunities are infrequ5t = !at]1 = social div]sion ( v>i\s k9ds1 ! woman's club is ( ! greate/ help4 ,x s]ves at once to focus & di/ribute all ! bett] social & intellectual int]e/s ( ! neighborhood4 ,x may be a means ( lift+ a :ole community to a liveli] & m int]e/+ social & intellectual level4 ,sid5ote3 ,,help+ ,,9 ,,legislation ,_m wom5's clubs become important factors 9 municipal legislation along ! l9es mo/ am5able to fem99e influ5ce4 ,?r\gh su* clubs wom5 h help$ to solve educational que/ions1 h influ5c$ public s5tim5t 9 ! direction ( clean+ & beautify+ ! /reets1 & 9 _m o!r ways h help$ to promote law & ord]4 ,! lit]>y club is1 h[ev]1 ! =m mo/ (t5 tak5 by fem99e organizations4 ,! =mation ( a lit]>y club is n a difficult matt]1 ?\gh ! am\nt ( r$ tape ) :i* x is sometimes cov]$ up makes ! project seem =midable4 ,! woman mo/ int]e/$ 9 ! organization ( su* a club %\ld call a meet+ at h] h\se ( ^? %e ?9ks mo/ likely to ent] into ! s*eme ) en]gy & pr(it4 ,a p]usal ( ,rob]t's ,rules ( ,ord] or ( any o!r good manual ( p>liam5t>y law1 w %[ h[ su* a meet+ %\ld be conduct$1 h[ (fic]s %\ld be elect$ & a con/itution adopt$4 ,x may be said 9 ?is connection t !re are few matt]s h>d] = a woman to dige/ gracefully ?an a k ( p>liam5t>y usages4 ,su* k is = use only1 n = display4 ,to make a %[ ( x is l us+ a kit*5 ut5sil = a draw+-room ornam5t4 ,_m wom5 seem to reg>d ! rules gov]n+ societies z important 9 !mselves4 ,!y are only important z ! k & use ( !m quick5s ! bus9ess proce$+s lead+ up to ! real purpose ( ! organization4 ,bus9ess 9 a woman's club1 f\nd$ = /udy & improvem5t1 is only a means to an end4 ,x is disa/r\s to consid] x o!rwise4 ,sid5ote3 ,,mak+ ,,out ,,! ,,program ,! memb]%ip hav+ be5 decid$ ^u1 ! (fic]s select$ & con/itution adopt$1 ! next & mo/ important ?+ 9 a lit]>y club is to make out ! program4 ,= ?is purpose an executive committee ( ?ree or m is appo9t$ by ! presid5t or elect$ by ! club4 ,sometimes ?is committee makes out ! entire program1 m]ely notify+ ea* memb] ( ! "p %e is expect$ to take 9 its p]=mance4 ,sometimes ! memb]s are consult$ z to :at subjects !y pref]4 ,! m arbitr>y me?od is (t5 necess>y 9 ord] to procure unity ( design 9 ! program4 ,if1 = in/ance1 ! program = ! day includes two pap]s & a discussion foll[+1 ! subjects consid]$ %\ld be relat$1 s z to make "s sort ( h>mony4 ,if ea* memb] is all[$ to *oose h] subject1 reg>dless ( any?+ b h] own desire1 small pleasure or pr(it foll[s4 ,9 "s clubs ! executive committee s5ds out c>ds to ! memb]s1 ask+ = sugge/ions1 accepts ! be/ ( ^!1 &1 :5 possible1 assigns ! topics pref]r$4 ,sid5ote3 ,,assign+ ,,! ,,topics ,if ! fir/ m5tion$ & m arbitr>y me?od is foll[$1 ! committee %\ld be c>eful to select subjects accord+ to ! p]sons = :om !y are design$4 ,mrs4 ,br[n1 :o loves poetry1 b kn[s no?+ ( sci5ce1 %\ld n be ask$ to h&le ! wond]s ( electricity 9 ! tw5tie? c5tury2 & ,mrs4 ,:ite1 :o has a delici\s t\* 9 n>rat+ p]sonal exp]i5ces1 b kn[s little ( cont95tal fiction1 w\ld bett] be ask$ to write a pap] on h] summ] vacation ?an "o on ! great ,russian noveli/s1 ,turg5ieff & ,tol/oi4 ,( c\rse1 ! practise = ,mrs4 ,br[n & ,mrs4 ,:ite1 9 consid]+ subjects oppos$ to _! k & ta/e1 might be salut>y = !m1 b x might also s5d ! o!r memb]s ( ! club to sleep4 ,& ! ambition ( ! executive committee %\ld be to avoid z mu* dulness z possible 9 ! atmosph]e x p>tly creates4 ,:e!r ! program %all be miscellane\s 9 "*1 or %all be devot$ to progressive /udy 9 "o direction1 is a "q to be consid]$ by ! committee4 ,if ! club is small1 compact 9 _s1 & on improvem5t b5t1 ! /udy ( "s "o p]iod1 au?or or movem5t is (t5 mo/ advantage\s4 ,if ! club is l>ge1 & ent]ta9m5t is l>gely ! motive = meet+1 a program t v>ies to meet ! v>i\s dem&s ( ! memb]%ip is bett]4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,club ,,session ,usually1 ! numb] ( pap]s on a giv5 day %\ld n exce$ two4 ,sometimes1 ow+ to ! light or easily divisible nature ( ! !me = ! day1 ?ree pap]s1 ( fifte5 or tw5ty m9utes ea*1 may be assign$4 ,= ! discussion t %\ld foll[ ! pap]1 or pap]s1 x is ! cu/om g5]ally 9 wom5's clubs to appo9t a lead]4 ,! selection ( lead]s = conv]sation %\ld be c>efully made4 ,n e woman :o writes a good pap] talks well1 ?\gh x is possibly )9 h] p[] to d s if %e makes suffici5t ef=t4 ,! lead] ( a conv]sation %\ld be "o :o has be5 tri$ 9 g5]al discussion & f\nd successful4 ,^u ! lead] dep5ds ! guidance ( ! talk4 ,if x drifts into fooli% & unpr(itable *annels1 x is h] bus9ess to call x back to bett] issues1 yet to d s ) :at %all n seem a m$dl+ or arbitr>y t\*4 ,! cultivation ( ! gift ( spee* is1 9 ! m9ds ( _m compet5t judges1 ! be/ ?+ (f]$ u by ! woman's club4 ,only a skill$ p]son %\ld und]take lead]%ip 9 a discussion1 b ! floor ( ! club is a s*ool :]e all may le>n some?+ ( ! art4 ,to le>n to ?9k quickly1 to express "o's self /&+ & fac+ an audi5ce1--?is is an accompli%m5t wor? hav+1 & "o :i* _m a club woman owes to ye>s ( progressive ef=t 9 a woman's club4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,admitt+ ,,new ,,memb]s ,memb]s %\ld be tak5 into a club because !y h qualifications :i* w add to ! pleasure & pr(it ( ! memb]%ip at l>ge4 ,"o %\ld n vote = or aga9/ a c&idate = purely p]sonal reasons4 ,_m k9d p1 :o are yet ignorant ( ! prop] law = limit+ ! memb]%ip ( a club1 consid] x an act ( enmity to blackball a c&idate = memb]%ip :e!r %e be fitt$ = t memb]%ip or n4 ,?is is a mi/ak5 & a s5tim5tal !ory4 ,x is inde$ disagreeable to blackball1 b x is sometimes necess>y4 ,^? :o propose memb]s = a club %\ld feel ! responsibility ( su* proposals & ?us1 z f> z lies )9 _! p[]1 avoid = ! memb]%ip1 or committee controll+ ?is matt]1 ! unpleasant necessity ( refus+ or blackball+ a c&idate4 ,sid5ote3 ,,address+ ,,! ,,presid5t ,! new memb] %\ld be receiv$ ) c\rtesy by ! old] memb]s ( ! club4 ,h] sponsors or gu>antors %\ld see to x t prop] introductions1 if introductions be necess>y1 are made4 ,= sev]al mon?s1 at lea/1 aft] h] admission to ! club1 ! new memb]'s "p %\ld be a negative r ?an a positive "o4 ,x is an unwritt5 law 9 ! ,unit$ ,/ates ,s5ate t ! new s5ator does n speak on any matt] ( importance = a ye> aft] 8 election4 ,exactly s1 mode/y dem&s t ! new memb] 9 a woman's club1 unless specially reque/$1 keep sil5t till cu/om has e/abli%$ h] place 9 ! organization4 ,:5 ! prop] occasion arises = h] to speak or to read1 %e beg9s h] p]=mance z o!rs d !irs1 by =mally address+ ! presid5t & memb]s ( ! club ?us3 8,madam presid5t & wom5 ( ! club40 ,9 _m clubs1 :]e ! memb]%ip is n l>ge & ! dues are small1 x is cu/om>y to meet f h\se to h\se4 ,?is %\ld always be consid]$ only a provisional me?od4 ,x is mu* bett] to h a club home ?an to w&] ab\t f place to place4 ,pap]s & o!r prop]ties accumulate 9 ! life ( a club1 & x is advisable to h "s p]man5t place = ! be/[al ( !m4 ,! s5se ( gett+ acqua9t$ ) a new place ea* "t int]f]es ) ease ( mann] & fre$om ( discussion1 :ile famili>ity ) "o's surr\nd+s begets bo? ^! happy qualities4 ,z soon z ! funds w>rant ! exp5diture1 a club %\ld r5t a conv5i5t & acceptable place1 :]e its regul> meet+s c be held4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,club ,,breakfa/ ,once a ye>1 usually at ! beg9n+ ( ! presid5t's t]m ( (fice1 x is cu/om>y = ! club to give "s sort ( ent]ta9m5t = its memb]s4 ,?is may be a lun*eon or breakfa/1 a high tea or m]ely an aft]noon reception1 :]e salad1 ices & c(fee are s]v$4 ,at ?is fe/ivity1 aft] ! m5u has be5 s]v$1 ! retir+ presid5t bids good-by to h] (fice & introduces h] successor1 :o acts z toa/-mi/ress = ! occasion4 ,! toa/s %\ld be few 9 numb]1 n m ?an five or six1 & ! "t occupi$ by ea* %\ld be f five to sev5 m9utes4 ,commonly1 ! subjects = toa/s %\ld be ( a lively pleas+ nature1 & %\ld be treat$ 9 a mann] to correspond4 ,to take advantage ( a fe/ive occasion = ! deliv]y ( a lam5tation or a s]mon is 9 v bad ta/e4 ,x %\ld be rememb]$ by ! speak] t %e is expect$ to ent]ta9 & n to in/ruct4 ,sid5ote3 ,,unwise ,,criticism ,! _s ( ! memb]s t[>d club p]=mances %\ld be k9dly & g5ial1 if good "w is to be expect$4 ,no?+ c be done 9 ! face ( ill-natur$ criticism4 ,! /&>d ( "w c only be rais$ by ea* memb] do+ h] be/1 & keep+ an op5 m9d = ! p]=mances ( h] acqua9tances4 ,frequ5tly a special advantage 9 he>+ club pap]s lies 9 "o's acqua9tance ) ! writ]1 :i* makes x possible = "o to int]pret mu* m ri*ly ?an w\ld be possible 9 ! pr9t$ page ( a p]sonally unkn[n au?or4 ,?is is ! 8une>n$ increm5t0 ( club memb]%ip1 "o ( ! be/ returns = its fell[%ip2 &1 9 ord] to get ! mo/ out ( "o's connection ) a lit]>y club :]e1 9 ! nature ( ?+s1 "o c n be expect+ lit]>y ma/]pieces1 "o mu/ be on ! look\t = ?is p]sonal quality :i* adds s l>gely to ! writt5 & spok5 words he>d !re4 ,,*apt] ,,xxxv ,,*>ities1 ,,public ,,& ,,private ,,*>ity beg9s at home1 b x is a great mi/ake to suppose t x %\ld end !re4 ,inde$1 9 ! la/ analysis1 to d = "o's own family is n *>ity1 b a =m ( selfi%ness4 ,! truly g5]\s _s c n resi/ ! call to help ! poor & ne$y1 ! outca/ & degrad$4 ,"o's relation to *>ity %\ld n be accid5tal1 b %\ld =m a "p ( ! plan ( "o's life4 ,x is n v cr$itable to give to a good cause only because "o is besieg$ to d s1 or because "o is a%am$ to say 8no40 ,:5 ! "y m>ri$ c\ple sit d[n toge!r = _! fir/ discussion ( f9ance1 ( h[ mu* !y %all sp5d = h\se1 = clo!s1 h[ mu* = food1 h[ mu* = amusem5t & s on1 ?is "q ( :at %all be done = ^? poor] ?an !mselves %\ld h a place4 ,no matt] h[ small ! sum possible1 some?+ %\ld be giv5 to philan?ropic "w4 ,! woman ( ! family is v (t51 directly or indirectly1 ! disp5s] ( ! money devot$ to *>ity4 ,%e is ! "o :o decides into :at *annels x %all g4 ,%e has ! "t = inve/igat+ ! ne$s ( societies & ( individuals4 ,! "w1 too1 t accompanies gifts ( *>ity m (t5 falls to h] lot ?an to a man4 ,?is is a dep>tm5t ( s]vice prop]ly belong+ to h]4 ,%e has natural rights 9 ?is section ( ! _w's "w1 ( :i* %e %\ld be pr\d4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,two ,,k9ds ,,( ,,*>ities ,*>ities1 broadly1 are ( two k9ds1 public & private2 & activity 9 "o %\ld n preclude activity 9 ! o!r4 ,! ideal adm9i/ration ( *>ity w\ld consi/ 9 e p]son com=tably e/abli%$1 hav+ among 8 real fri5ds sev]al poor p]sons or poor families f :om he himself receiv$ a broad5+ k ( life1 z well z to :om he gave ( physical necessities4 ,9 ! abs5ce ( ?is ideal situation1 he mu/ avail himself ( ! be/ means op5 to him4 ,he mu/ take advantage ( ! spl5did organization ( mod]n *>ities1 b he mu/ n =get also to be on ! look\t = individual cases ( ne$ t are n likely to appe> be=e ! bo>d ( any philan?ropic organization4 ,sid5ote3 ,,build+ ,,up ,,"* ,we he> x f ! pulpit & ! plat=m cont9ually1 yet n too (t51 t organiz$ *>itable "w is "o ( ! f9e/ a*ievem5ts ( our pres5t civilization4 ,n>r[-m9d$ p sometimes say t our gr&mo!rs got along v well )\t x1 & did z mu* good z ! wom5 ( ! pres5t day4 ,!y got on )\t x only because !y did n h su* complex conditions to cope )4 ,x is n possible1 no matt] h[ good ! int5tions ( ! individuals conc]n$1 t z valuable "w c be done )\t mod]n me?ods z ) !m4 ,9 ^! days1 ea* *>ity ( a city or t[n attempts to cov] "o field1 & to cov] x z ?or\ghly & f z _m diff]5t po9ts ( view z possible4 ,:]ev] possible1 ! aim ( su* organizations is to help p to help !mselves4 ,! idea is n only to tide ! b5efici>ies ov] tempor>y difficulties1 b to aid !m 9 build+ up "* by means ( self-respect+ ef=t4 ,memb]%ip 9 su* organizations br+s opportunity = action & k also ( ! be>+s ( "o's action4 ,x makes *>ity some?+ m ?an a matt] ( s5tim5tal impulse4 ,! opportunity to d good (f]$ by ^! societies is n only an opportunity to help ! poor1 b to help "o's self1 & ev5 9 o!r ways ?an ! "o g5]ally ackn[l$g$ ( broad5+ "o's sympa?ies & cultivat+ "o's he>t4 ,! ga9 a woman d]ives 9 discipl9e f work+ 9 conc]t ) o!r wom5 is ( ine/imable value4 ,?is discipl9e is sometimes accompani$ by vexations1 z discipl9e commonly is1 b1 tak5 9 ! "r _s1 x is broad5+4 99 99 99 99 99 ,*>itable societies are (t5 made up l>gely ( wom5 ^: ideas ( bus9ess are *aotic1 ^: capacity = spee* is n at all equal to _! capacity = "w4 ,! "t sp5t by su* p 9 idle discussion at bus9ess meet+s is we>+1 b x is n altoge!r unpr(itable4 ,! bett] tra9$ wom5 mu/ d :at !y c to improve ! situation4 ,:5 !y c n improve x1 !y mu/ gr9 & be> x4 ,ev5 ) ! drawbacks nam$1 organization pays4 ,! exp]i5ce ( _m is a ri*] ?+ ?an ! exp]i5ce ( "o2 &1 :5 x comes to action1 conc]t$ action is a m p[]ful ?+ ?an s+le & individual ef=t4 ,sid5ote3 ,,selection ,,( ,,*>ities ,"o c n help all ! causes "o w\ld l to help1 or belong to ! organizations t repres5t !m4 ,"o %\ld select t *>ity :i* appeals to "o mo/ or :]e "o feels "o c d ! mo/ good1 & "o %\ld make att5dance ^u its meet+s & ! o!r "w ( ! society a "p ( "o's regul> duties4 ,! sorr[s ( "o's life (t5 sugge/ ! *>ity "o c>es mo/ to aid4 ,wom5 :o h lo/ little ones feel a draw+ ( ! he>t t[>d ! society t helps *ildr54 ,wom5 :o h se5 mu* ( pa9 & suff]+ 9 _! own families wi% to jo9 a society t makes ! burd5 ( ! sick poor z light z possible4 ,^? :o h se5 sympa!tically ! lonel9ess & bitt]ness possible to old age1 wi% to help ! ag$ poor4 ,& ! det]m9+ p]sonal exp]i5ce makes ! "w ( *>ity s mu* ri*] & m effectual4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,social ,,settlem5t ,"o %\ld n leave ! subject ( "o's duty to organiz$ philan?ropy )\t a ^w conc]n+ ! "w ( ! social settlem5t1 ! greate/ philan?ropic movem5t ( ! day4 ,! idea at ! bottom ( settlem5t "w1 ! idea t ! ri* or ! com=tably situat$ mu/ live ) ! poor1 mu/ "k _! lives by direct & cont9u\s contact 9 ord] to ex]t any la/+ influ5ce = good1 is a noble idea 9 itself & "o t is s+ul>ly attractive to ard5t spirits4 ,un=tunately1 fa%ion & ! novelty ( ! life involv$ 9 ! exp]im5t has made social settlem5t "w attractive to _m p = some:at selfi% reasons4 ,su* p %\ld be disc\rag$ f go+ into x--fir/1 because !y hurt ! cause4 ,!y d n "k h[ to get on ) poor p1 & (t5 _! ill-disguis$ curiosity am\nts to insol5ce & hurts ^? :om x is int5d$ ! "w %\ld b5efit4 ,! second reason is t ^! p :o1 ?r\gh excitem5t & love ( novelty1 leave _! homes = settlem5t "w are (t5 ne$$ at home4 ,x is mu* ! vogue j n[ = "y wom5 j out ( college to d a ye> ( social settlem5t "w4 ,if !y h :at ,me?odi/s "n 8! call10 & h no m urg5t & intimate duties beh9d !m1 ?is is v well4 ,b if x means des]t+ home tasks because !y are dull & unexcit+1 x is well en\gh to ?9k twice be=e ! "m ( ! family is left to face all ! disagreeable issues ( home life4 ,?is is "o ( ^? cases :]e *>ity at home is ( m importance ?an *>ity abroad4 ,( social settlem5t "w1 s]i\sly & e>ne/ly consid]$1 x is impossible to say too mu* 9 comm5dation4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,private ,,giv+ ,! philan?ropic impulse ( a g5]\s he>t is n satisfi$ ) giv+ to organizations or work+ = !m4 ,"o mu/ d 9 o!r & private ways 9 ord] to satisfy "o's he>t & consci5ce4 ,"o %\ld help _m p ?r\gh ties ( s]vice1 ( love or ( fri5d%ip4 ,9 "t ( ne$1 "o %\ld rememb] ^? p :o h liv$ z dome/ics 9 "o's family1 or :o h be5 connect$ 9 "s humble capacity ) ! bus9ess ( ! head ( ! h\se4 ,^! p]sons1 if !y h be5 fai?ful to "o's int]e/s1 "o helps ) a p]sonal en?usiasm t is1 ( c\rse1 lack+ 9 ! case ( /rang]s4 ,fai?ful or unfai?ful1 "o kn[s some?+ ab\t !m1 & c figure out easily :at is ! wise/ z well z ! mo/ grateful mann] ( do+ = !m4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,poor ,,relation ,!n !re is ! poor relation :om we h always ) u &1 9 ! help+ ( :om1 all ! tact ( :i* "o is possess$ is n too mu* to use4 ,! v fact t he or %e1 z ! case may be1 mu/ accept favors f "o ( ! same blood &1 !re=e1 9 e s5se b ! f9ancial1 ( ! same rank 9 life1 makes ! graceful be/[al ( ! gift a matt] t is h>d to compass4 ,to pass on ! g[n "o has laid aside s t !re %all seem to be no condesc5sion 9 ! act2 to expla9 successfully t "o s5ds money at ,*ri/mas because "o 0 unc]ta9 :at w\ld be ! prop] gift to buy2 9 f9e1 to give ) a broad sympa?y t1 = ! m9ute1 gives ! donor an insight into ! o!r's disappo9tm5ts & vexations--?is is :at is ne$$ 9 deal+ ) ! poor relative4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,individual ,,help ,a flavor ( ev5 great] grace & delicacy mu/ g into ! gift (f]$ by ! ri* fri5d to ! poor "o4 ,x is "o ( ! privileges ( ! g5]\s ri*1 n only to fe$ ! />v+ body b sometimes to fe$ ! />v+ s\l1 n only to provide bread & butt] b to m9i/] to a />v$ s5se ( beauty & ( joy4 ,to give pictures & books to ^? :o love !m b c n buy1 to give a ye> at college to "s nice "y fell[ ^: p>5ts c n d = him1 to give pretty tr9kets to a pretty "y girl :o lives 9 a h\se :]e !re is no money to sp>e = su* ?+s--^! gifts ( fri5d%ip are "o ( ! greate/ privileges ( a l>ge income4 ,?\gh n c\nt$ commonly z *>ity1 !y come "u ! head ( *>ity 9 its biblical significance ( love & sympa?y4 ,,*apt] ,,xxxvi ,,c\rtesy ,,f ,,! ,,"y ,,to ,,! ,,old ,,! pessimi/1 read+ ! head+ ( ?is *apt]1 w\ld be incl9$ to ask if "o writes n[adays ( a lo/ quantity4 ,:ile we d n consid] ! grace ( c\rtesy z entirely lo/1 we are at times tempt$ to ?9k t x has 8gone be=e10 & s f> be=e t x is lo/ sight ( by ! ris+ g5]ation4 ,! days h pass$ :5 ! ho>y head 0 a cr[n ( glory1 z ! royal prea*] decl>es4 ,x is c]ta9 t if x is a cr[n1 x is "o be=e :i* ! y\? ( ! tw5tie? c5tury d n always b[4 ,be=e we condemn ! "y unsp>+ly = _! lack ( rev]5ce1 we mu/ look at ! o!r side ( ! "q4 ,to-day !re are few old p4 ,fir/1 !re is y\?4 ,t la/s almo/ until "o is a gr&p>5t2 !n "o is middle-ag$4 ,no "o is old1--at lea/ few w ackn[l$ge x4 ,! woman ( =ty-five is on 8! %ady side ( ?irty10 %e ( sixty-five1 is 8on ! d[n slope f fifty40 ,&1 ev5 :5 ! age is ann\nc$1 "o is rem9d$ t 8a woman is only z old z %e feels40 ,!re is s\nd common s5se 9 all ?is4 ,c n we af=d to snap our f+]s at ,fa!r ,"t & 8 laws1 :5 ! law )9 ourselves tells u t we are "y 9 he>t1 9 feel+1 9 aims8 ,s ! pr9ciple t bids u %ut our eyes at ! figure on ! mile-/one we are pass+ is a good "o4 ,z long z we feel fre% /ill = ! j\rney1 z long z e /ep is a pleasure1 :at diff]5ce if ! walk has be5 five miles long or fifte58 ,we judge ( ! /ra9 by ! effect x has _h on u4 ,if we feel unwe>i$ & ready = miles & miles ahead ( u1 :o %all say t ! walk has be5 t5 miles long1 :5 we are consci\s 9 our en]getic limbs t x has only be5 two delightful miles8 ,sid5ote3 ,,no ,,"o ,,is ,,old ,,n[ ,! fact t no "o is n[ old has its effect on ! ,"y ,p]son 9 our mid/4 ,%e hesitates to say to ! matron1 8,take ?is seat1 please60 :5 %e kn[s t 9 h] s\l ! matron w res5t ! ins9uation t %e is on ! d[nw>d grade4 ,n long ago ,i witness$ ! *agr9 ( a woman ( ?irty-five :o rose & gave h] seat 9 a /age to a woman :o 01 if "o may judge by ! false /&>d ( appe>ances1 at lea/ fifte5 ye>s h] s5ior4 ,! eld]ly woman flu%$ indignantly3 8,pray keep y\r seat1 madam60 %e comm&$ 9 /5torian tones4 8,i may be gray-head$1 b ,i am n old or decrepit60 ,i fancy t "o reason gray hair is becom+ fa%ionable is ?is desire to cl+ to y\?4 ,e ye> m "y wom5 tell u t !y are prematurely gray1 & _! si/]-wom5 add eag]ly1 8,s _m wom5 are1 n[adays60 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,importance ,,( ,,tact ,our ,"y ,p]son mu/1 !n1 be v c>eful h[ %e displays ! feel+ ( rev]5ce = age :i*1 we w\ld l to believe1 is inh]5t 9 e well-regulat$ nature4 ,%e mu/ ex]cise tact1 )\t :i* no p]son w h popul>ity4 ,sid5ote3 ,,appreciat+ ,,"o',s ,,eld]s ,"o po9t 9 :i* ,"y ,am]ica displays lam5table vulg>ity is 9 ! habit ( int]rupt+ old] p4 ,int]ruptions1 we ( a =m] g5]ation 7 taught1 are rude4 ,t is a =gott5 fact 9 _m s-call$ polite circles4 ,& :5 p d n int]rupt !y seem to be wait+ = ! p]son speak+ to f9i% :at he has to say 9 ord] to 8cut 90 7no o!r expression describes x fitly7 ) "s new & orig9al rem>k4 ,t is1 app>5tly1 ! only reason t "o li/5s to o!rs1--j = ! sake ( hav+ "s "o to answ]4 ,! _w is full ( ?+s1 & gett+ full] e day1 & unless "o talks mo/ ( ! "t he w nev] be able to air 8 op9ions on all po9ts4 ,& e "o's op9ion is ( priceless value1--at lea/ to himself4 ,?is seems to be ! attitude ( ,"y ,am]ica4 ,yet 9 c\rtesy to ! ho>y head "o %\ld occasionally pause long en\gh to all[ ! own] !re( to express an op9ion4 ,al?\gh "o has pass$ fifty1 "o may1 nev]!less1 h s\nd judgm5t & ideas on "s subjects t are wor? consid]ation4 ,i wi% "y m5 & wom5 w\ld occasionally rememb] ?is4 ,! woman ( sixty1 or ov]1 c really le>n little ( value f h] gr&daught]1--ev5 :5 t gr&daught] is a college graduate1 & has all ! arrogance ( tw5ty ye>s4 ,( c\rse1 gr&mo!r may ne$ enlight5m5t on college a?letics1 on golf1 ev51 p]haps1 on bridge1--al?\gh t is v d\btful1 if %e lives 9 a fa%ionable neighborhood4 ,b1 aft] all1 ^! are n ! greate/ ?+s ( life4 ,%e w\ld1 p]*ance1 be glad to li/5 to h] "y relative's acc\nts ( h] sports if %e w\ld take ! tr\ble to tell ! happ5+s t int]e/ h] 9 a lov+ respectful _s4 ,our eld]ly woman does n l to be patroniz$1 to be told t %e dresses l an old fa%ion-plate1 & t %e is1 to use ! slang ( ! day1 a 8back numb]40 ,! gr&mo!r kn[s bett]4 ,%e has liv$ & %e is sure t f h] /ore ( k ( life--( m51 wom5 & ?+s z !y really are--%e c\ld br+ =? treasures1 new & old1 t w\ld be ( great help to ! hot-head$1 impulsive "y girl ab\t to risk all on ! p]il\s j\rney t lies be=e h]4 ,i w\ld1 !re=e1 sugge/ t ,our ,girl practise def]5ce t[>d h] eld]s4 ,at fir/ %e may n f9d x easy1 b x is wor? cultivat+4 ,x is1 moreov]1 mu* m becom+ ?an arrogance & aggressiv5ess1 too common n[adays4 ,!re is some?+ wrong :5 a p]son feels no respect = "o :o has atta9$ to d\ble or treble h] ye>s4 ,!re is some?+ lack+4 ,! collegians ( bo? sexes w\ld d well to turn _! analytical m9ds on !mselves1 &1 z improvem5t is ! ord] ( ! day1 add to _! fund ( becom+ atta9m5ts ! sweet old-fa%ion$ attribute ( c\rtesy & rev]5ce t[>d age4 ,sid5ote3 ,,small ,,c\rtesies ,x is easy1 aft] all1 if "o w wat* c>efully1 to d ! little k9d ?+ t makes = com=t1 & n d x aggressively4 ,x is n necess>y to adju/ a pill[ at ! eld]ly p]son's back z if %e ne$$ x4 ,i saw a sweet woman put a pill[ beh9d an invalid ) su* tact t ! suff]]1 :o 0 acutely s5sitive on ! subject ( h] condition1 did n suspect t h] ho/ess _h h] illness 9 m9d4 8,my de>10 said ?is tactful woman1 8if y are #8built' z ,i am1 y mu/ f9d t *air desp]ately uncom=table )\t a cu%ion beh9d y6 ,i simply w n sit 9 x )\t ?is little bit ( a pill[ w$g$ 9 at ! small ( my back4 ,i f9d x s mu* m com=table s1 t ,i am sure y w40 ,& ! cu%ion 0 adju/$4 ,c\ld ev5 sup]s5sitive & suspici\s ,old ,age h res5t$ su* att5tion8 ,( c\rse eld]ly p l to talk4 ,:y %\ld !y n be all[$ to d x8 ,! boy or girl li/5] is impati5t ( :at he or %e t]ms inw>dly 8g>rul\sness40 ,is n ! prattle ( y\? z try+ to old p8 ,b1 to d !m ju/ice1 unless !y are v crabb$1 !y li/5 to x k9dly4 ,un=tunately1 "o seldom sees a "y p]son rise & rema9 /&+ :5 an old p]son ent]s ! room4 ,yet to loll back 9 a *air "u su* circum/ances is "o ( ! greate/ rud5esses ( :i* a girl or boy is capable4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,old ,,man ,sid5ote3 ,,g5]osity ,,to ,,age ,"r "h1 may ,i put 9 a plea = ! old man8 ,9 ! fir/ place1 he is n s popul> z ! old woman4 ,%e is (t5 belov$2 he1 poor s\l6 is too (t5 endur$4 ,9 v tru? he is n s lovable z 8 lady-wife4 ,he did n take ! "t :ile he 0 "y to cultivate ! little niceties ( life z %e did4 ,wom5 h m reg>d = appe>ances ?an m5 h1 & _! life is n sp5t s (t5 9 c\nt+-room & (fice2 !y are1 9 _! daily life1 surr\nd$ by ref9$ p]sons m ?an are _! husb&s2 !y d n h to talk by ! h\r ) r\gh m51 give ord]s to surly und]l+s1 eat at lun* c\nt]s1 & jo9 9 ! morn+ & ev5+ ru%-=-life to get a seat 9 ! cr[d$ c> or tra9 :]e ! law is 8,sauve qui peut60 or1 9 brutal ,engli% 8,e man = himself0--no matt] :o--8= ! h9dmo/60 ,all ^! ?+s1 aft] ye>s & ye>s1 influ5ce ! man or woman4 ,x is inevitable4 ,x ev5 affects ! inn] life4 ,! ,book ( books tells u t ?\gh ! outw>d man p]i%1 ! inw>d man is r5ew$ day by day4 ,sometimes ! inw>d man is h>dly wor? r5ew+ at ! end ( a life ( su* ru% & mad ha/e aft] ! elusive doll> t !re has be5 no place = ! g5tle am5ities ( exi/5ce4 ,!re=e1 z ! man gets old1 8 nature comes to ! front1 &1 too (t51 ! c\rtesies t 7 p9n$ on him by a lov+ wife1 & kept poli%$ up by h]1 drop (f & he does n want to bo!r to h !m readju/$4 ,consequ5tly1 he (t5 has habits t are n pretty4 ,he is irascible2 he is intol]ant ) y\?1 &1 n[ t he is laid aside1 he likes to tell ( :at he did :5 he 0 z active z ! "y m5 ab\t him4 ,de> "y p1 let him talk6 ,li/5 to him1 & rememb] t at y\r age he 0 j z agreeable z y4 ,consid]1 too1 t if1 :5 y are old1 y w\ld escape be+ ! self-absorb$ be+ y ?9k him1 y w\ld d well n[ to beg9 to avoid ! selfi%ness & self-absorption t y f9d make ! old man objectionable4 ,practise on him1 & he w 9 8 old age /ill be do+ a good "w4 ,sid5ote3 ,a ,,^w ,,to ,,! ,,wise ,x is n pleasant to feel old1 to "k t y are set aside 9 ! m9ds ( o!rs z 8a has-be540 ,!re are few m cruel lessons giv5 to human be+s to le>n 9 ?is h>d s*ool we call life4 ,& ?is task has to be le>n$ :5 /r5g? & c\rage wane1 & ! gras%opp] is a burd54 ,if "y p w\ld only make x unnecess>y = ! old] p]son to acquire x6 ,x lies ) y\? to make ! decl9+ ye>s ( ^? ne> ! end ( ! j\rney a we>y wait+ = t end1 or a peaceful loit]+ on a road t %all be a =eta/e ( a ,l& 9 :i* no "o ev] gr[s old4 ,,*apt] ,,xxxvii ,,mi/ress ,,& ,,maid ,,!y 7 n =eorda9$ f all et]nity to be sworn enemies4 ,c\ld t fact be impress$ on ! m9d ( ea*1 !re w\ld be less friction betwe5 !m4 ,:]e1 9 ?is day & 9 ?is c\ntry1 is f\nd ! family s]vant :o foll[s ! =tunes ( h] employ]s ?r\gh adv]sity & evil report1 ask+ only to be all[$ to live among ^? :o h %[n h] k9dness1 :o h taught h] all %e kn[s1 & :o h be5 k9d] to h] ?an h] own family h be58 ,%e may exi/ 9 ! imag9ation ( ! optimi/ic noveli/1--b n 9 reality4 ,once 9 a great :ile su* a s]vant1 well-advanc$ 9 life1 is f\nd1--b %e is a r>a avis4 ,on ! o!r h&1 x %\ld be rememb]$ t ! burd5 ( blame & ( responsibility = improvem5t re/ ) ! woman ( l>g] opportunity4 ,if we he>d consid]ably m ( 8! mi/ress problem10 we %\ld probably he> less ( ! s]vant "o4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,bo? ,,mu/ ,,help ,x is trite to say t 9 ?is c\ntry ! s]vant matt] is all askew4 ,we "k t1 & x is incumb5t on u to make ! be/ ( matt]s z we f9d !m4 ,to d ?is bo? mi/ress & maid %\ld be impress$ ) ! fact express$ 9 ! op5+ s5t5ce ( ?is *apt]4 ,z matt]s n[ are1 ! maid sees 9 ! mi/ress a possible tyrant1 "o :o w exact ! p\nd ( fle%1 &1 if ! own] !re( be n on h] gu>d1 w insi/ on a few extra ounces ?r[n 9 = good measure4 ,! mi/ress sees 9 ! suspici\s girl a p]son :o w1 if ! *ance be (f]$ h]1 turn aga9/ h] employ]1 w d ! smalle/ am\nt ( "w possible = ! highe/ wages %e c dem&2 break *9a1 sma% glass1 %ut h] eyes to dirt 9 ! corn]s1 & accept ! fir/ opportunity t (f]s itself to leave h] pres5t place & get "o t dem&s few] duties & l>g] pay4 99 99 99 99 99 ,"o ( ! great mi/akes ( ! mi/ress is t %e lets ! /ate ( affairs greatly di/urb h]4 ,:y %\ld %e8 ,! maid is n 8h] own k9d10 & ! woman is wrong :o judges ! un$ucat$1 ill-re>$ hirel+ by ! rules t gov]n ! bett]-educat$ classes4 ,! s]vant & ! employ] h be5 re>$ 9 diff]5t worlds1 & to ignore ?is fact is folly4 ,h[ (t5 d we see ! mi/ress 8hurt0 because ( ,norah's lack ( consid]ation = h] & h] "t1 & vex$ because ! s]vant fails to appreciate any k9dness %[n h]8 ,let h] accept ! condition ( affairs z :at ! slangy boy w\ld call 8"p ( ! game10 & n wa/e ,god-giv5 n]ve & en]gy 9 worry+ ov] x4 ,if %e gets reasonably good return 9 "w = ! wages %e pays1 %e %\ld be cont5t4 ,if a woman's maid does some?+ wrong or omits a duty1 h[ev] important1 if gue/s are pres5t ! mi/ake %\ld be rem$i$ z quietly z possible & )\t repro(4 ,to rebuke a s]vant be=e o!rs is a great unk9dness to h] & ne$lessly emb>rasses ! visitor4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,expect ,,! ,,be/ ,sid5ote3 ,,always ,,be ,,consid]ate ,! mi/ress %\ld n expect a fri5d & c\nselor 9 ! maid4 ,once 9 a :ile1 "o meets a s]vant :o1 by "s accid5t1 is capable ( disc]n+ ! ref9em5t ( nature 9 h] employ]1 & ( respect+ x4 ,9 ?is case1 %e w c>e m = ! employ] = kn[+ t %e is tru/$4 ,x is a fact t1 by appeal+ to ! be/ 9 human nature--be t nature ,am]ican1 ,iri%1 ,g]man or ,sc&9avian--we elicit ! be/ f our fell[ creatures4 ,let ! mi/ress1 !n1 try to believe 9 ! good int5tions ( h] s]vant1 or1 if %e c n really believe 9 !m1 let h] attempt to d s4 ,h] attitude ( m9d w1 unconsci\sly to h]self1 make itself felt ^u h] help]4 ,let h] take x = grant$ t ! 8new girl0 means to /ay1 is hone/1 tru/wor?y & anxi\s to please1 & let h] talk to h] z if all ^! ?+s 7 =egone conclusions4 ,%e may %[ by g5tle mann] & k9dly consid]ation t ,norah or ,gret*5 is a si/]-woman1 n a ma*9e4 ,if a wa%+ or iron+ happ5s to be heavy1 let h] sugge/ a simple dess]t ( fruit1 in/ead ( ! pudd+ t _h be5 plann$4 ,& if ! maid's heavy eyes & =c$ smile %[ t %e is n well1 let ! mi/ress1 = a brief mom5t1 put h]self 9 ! place ( ! hirel+1 & ?9k :at %e w\ld want done = h] "u simil> circum/ances4 ,%e w !n sugge/ t "s ( ! "w t c be def]r$ be laid aside until ! foll[+ day1 or (f] to give a h& 9 mak+ ! b$s or du/+ ! rooms4 8,b10 decl>es ! sy/ematic h\sewife1 8,i d n hire a s]vant1--& !n d my h\sework60 ,no6 ,nei!r did y hire y\r maid-(-all-"w to be a sick nurse1--b 7 y ill x w\ld be %e :o w\ld cook y\r meals1 c>ry up y\r tray & take c>e ( y1 unless y 7 s ill z to ne$ ! s]vices ( a tra9$ att5dant4 ,be> ?is 9 m9d1 & %[ ! maid t y d be> x 9 m9d4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,"w ,,aft] ,,h\rs ,x is a m difficult matt] to get ! s]vant to look at ! subject f ?is /&po9t4 ,%e has n be5 educat$ to reg>d ?+s f bo? sides4 ,x is ! cu/om ( h] cult to meet &1 9 conclave assembl$1 to comp>e ! faults1 foibles & fail+s ( _! employ]s4 ,& :5 !y d comm5d an employ] = k9d treatm5t x is1 z a rule1 only to make ! lot ( ano!r s]vant look d>k] by contra/ ) ! bright "o depict$4 8,oh1 me de>60 exclaims ,bridget on ent]+ ,norah's kit*5 at eight-?irty 9 ! ev5+ & f9d+ h] /ill wa%+ di%es4 8,& is ?is ! h\r t a poor h>d-work+ girl is kept up to wa% ! d9n]-?+s8 ,!re are no su* do9's 9 my kit*51 ,i tell ye6 ,my lady kn[s t ,i a9't made ( iron1 & %e kn[s1 too1 t ,i w\ld n put up ) su* an imposition60 ,! fact t ,norah's mi/ress has help$ h] all day ) ! "w1 t %e is h]self ! victim ( unexpect$ company1 t %e regrets z mu* z ,norah c t ! unavoidable det5tion at ! (fice ( ! ma/] ( ! h\se has made d9n] lat] ?an usual1 does n det] ! sudd5ly-enlight5$ girl f feel+ h]self a m>tyr1 & ! se$ ( hate & di/ru/ is quick to be> fruit 9 an (f5sive mann] & a sulky /yle ( spee*4 ,%e does n pause to take into consid]ation t1 :ile %e may j n[ be do+ extra "w1 %e also receives daily extra k9dnesses & consid]ation t 7 n agre$ ^u 9 ! contract ( h] hire4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,two ,,ways ,,( ,,do+ ,!re are j two rules t make ! relations ( mi/ress & maid tol]able or pleasant4 ,"o is t ev]y?+ be put on a purely bus9ess basis--an arrangem5t h>dly practical 9 dome/ic labor4 ,! o!r rule1 & ! bett]1 is t a little practical ,*ri/ianity be br\ght into ! relation%ip1--t ! maid d h] be/1 *e]fully & will+ly1 & t ! mi/ress treat h] 9 ! same _s1 giv+ h] little pleasures :5 x is )9 h] p[] to d s1 try+ to smoo? ! r\gh places1 & to make crook$ ?+s /raight4 ,!n1 let ea* respect ! o!r & make ! be/ ( ! situation4 ,if x is intol]able1 x may be *ang$4 ,if n intol]able1 let ea* rememb] t !re is no law1 human or div9e1 t dem&s t ! contract /& =ev]--& let ea* dissolve ! p>tn]%ip :5 %e wi%es to d s4 ,until ?is is done1 mi/ress & maid %\ld keep sil5ce z to ! faults ( ! o!r1 try+ to see r ! virtues ?an ! fail+s ( a si/]-woman4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i wi% t "s ^w ( m9e ) reg>d to ?is matt] c\ld s9k into ! m9d ( ! mi/ress4 ,i fe> t x w nev] be possible to tra9 ! maid n to talk ( h] mi/ress to h] fri5ds4 ,b ! employ] %\ld be above discuss+ h] s]vants ) outsid]s4 ,?is is "o ( ! mo/ gl>+ faults ( conv]sation1--"o ( ! mo/ flagrant brea*es ( conv]sational etiquette among wom5 ( ref9em5t4 ,! hackney$ w>n+ t ! ?ree ,d's to be bani%$ f polite conv]sation are ,dress1 ,disease & ,dome/ics1 has n be5 he$$ by ! av]age h\sewife1 s f> z ! la/ ,d is conc]n$4 ,%e w fill will+ & unwill+ e>s ) ! acc\nt ( h] s]vants' imp]t95ces1 ( _! faults1 ( h[ !y are leav+ )\t giv+ w>n+1 & ( h[ ungrateful all s]vants are1 until "o w\ld ?9k t h] own s\l 0 n above t ( ! laundress1 *amb]maid & cook1 ^: fail+s %e dissects 9 public4 ,su* talk rem9ds "o ( ! conv]sation ) :i* ,bridget regales an admir+ & indignant cot]ie4 ,) ! un$ucat$ hirel+1 x may be p>donable2 9 ! case ( ! educat$ employ] x is inexcusable4 99 99 99 99 99 ,! be/-tra9$ s]vants say 8,yes1 madam10 in/ead ( 8,yes1 ma'am40 ,9 ,engl& wom5 z well z m5 s]vants are address$ by _! surnames4 ,! cu/om does n comm5d itself to our ,am]ican ideas4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,wom5 ,,) ,,"o ,,maid ,sid5ote3 ,,caps ,,& ,,apron ,wom5 :o keep only "o maid %\ld1 if possible1 h ! laundry "w done out ( ! h\se4 ,only s c "o be sure ( a trim-look+ s]vant to answ] ! door4 ,& ! appe>ance ( ! p]son :o admits u to a h\se is tak51 v ju/ly1 z a crit]ion ( ! dome/ic /&>ds ( ! h\se4 ,a popul> noveli/ once divid$ ! h\ses 9 a c]ta9 city into ?ree classes3 ^? t _h maids1 ^? t _h maids )\t caps1 & ^? :o _h maids ) caps4 ,a woman's social /&+ ne$ n dep5d on h] hav+ a maid at all1--%e may 8q come to h] own door10 z "o snobbi% woman puts x1 b if %e keep a maid1 ! maid %\ld be prop]ly dress$1 & ! cap is z ess5tial a "p ( h] dress z h] apron4 ,,*apt] ,,xxxviii ,,! ,,woman ,,)\t ,a ,,maid ,,! ?\ght ( be+ )\t a maid /rikes dismay to ! he>t ( _m a woman :o c n be accus$ ( laz9ess4 ,%e ?9ks ( ! manual toil connect$ ) h\sekeep+ z compos$ ( a r\nd ( degrad+ tasks1 & %e c n imag9e h]self z p]=m+ ^! ) dignity & attractiv5ess4 ,! ugl9ess connect$ ) do+ ,bridget's "w is :at repels1 & x mu/ be confess$1 at ! />t1 t du/ & di%-wat] are n agreeable ?+s to contemplate1 ?\gh hemm$ squ>es ( clean *eese-clo? = ! "o & pl5ty ( good soap 9 ! o!r t5d to r$uce disagreeable qualities to a m9imum4 ,"o half1 at lea/1 ( ! prejudice _m wom51 n f9ancially prosp]\s1 feel aga9/ 8do+ _! own "w10 z ! phrase curi\sly goes1 is ! av]sion to do+ unbeautiful ?+s4 ,! o!r half rises f ! s5se ( dismay 9 attempt+ t 9 :i* "o has _h no practise1 = :i* "o has _h no previ\s prep>ation4 ,! tasks connect$ ) h\sekeep+ are _m & v>i\s2 & if "o is call$ to face !m )\t exp]i5ce or a sy/em1 ! result is apt to be p&emonium until ! mi/ress-maid is brok5 94 ,x is a pity1 h[ev]1 to approa* ! "w ) ! idea t x is necess>ily di/a/eful & disagreeable4 ,mo/ wom5 h "s natural aptitude = dome/ic s]vice4 ,:5 prop]ly tra9$ !y l x1 or1 at lea/1 p>ts ( x4 ,:at !y lack (t5 is n aptitude b practise2 &1 in/ead ( expect+ to ga9 skill ?r\gh practise1 z !y w\ld 9 o!r dep>tm5ts ( "w1 !y expect x to come by inspiration4 ,h\sekeep+ is a sci5ce & an art4 ,m ev5 ?an ?is1 x is a bus9ess1 & ne$s1 exactly z ! bus9ess ( a man does1 "t & pati5ce = its conque/4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,dress+ ,,= ,,"w ,a sub-pr(essor on a small sal>y 9 "o ( our be/ ea/]n educational in/itutions m>ri$ a *>m+ "y woman ) a wise head on h] pretty %\ld]s4 ,h] ?\ght 0 t %e c\ld be/ help him by do+ ! "w ( a maid4 ,h] "n :]ev] kn[n _h be5 a synonym = exquisite ta/e1 & %e lo/ no?+ ( ?is 9 ! conduct ( h] new rle4 ,ugl9ess ( any sort 0 n 9 h] s*eme ( ?+s4 ,%e det]m9$ t %e %\ld be no less pretty 9 h] husb&'s eyes because ( ! "p %e 0 to play 9 8 kit*54 ,%e _h made = h]self eight blue & :ite /rip$ se]suck] g[ns ) broad hems on ! %ort skirts & ) pla9 %irt-wai/s4 ,! sleeves 7 made elb[ l5g?1 s z n to incommode h] 9 h] "w1 & a turnov] coll> ( :ite :i* left h] ?roat free 0 at once com=table & becom+4 ,) ^! dresses %e wore d>k aprons or :ite ones1 accord+ to ! "w %e 0 do+4 ,h] husb& & fri5ds decl>$ %e _h nev] look$ m pleas+ ?an :ile 89 s]vice40 ,%e 0 an excell5t refutation ( ! idea t a woman mu/ look slov5ly :5 do+ h\sehold tasks4 ,?\gh 8dress+ ! "p0 seems a small beg9n+ t[>d gett+ ! "w ( a h\se done1 x is a helpful beg9n+ because x affects ! spirits4 ,a work+ woman ne$s work+ clo!s4 ,if !y be pretty z well z com=table & appropriate1 !y give an impetus t[>d *e]ful labor t is n to be lightly e/imat$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,avoid ,,int]ruptions ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,value ,,( ,,sy/em ,a woman :o le>ns to be h] own maid & makes a success ( ! "w mu/ adopt x z a bus9ess & mu/ devote h]self to h] tasks ) regul>ity & sy/em4 ,%e mu/ be firm aga9/ intrusion & int]ruption f ! outside _w4 ,%e mu/ adopt h\sekeep+ z a pr(ession & aim n m]ely at complet+ ! daily r\nd b at a*iev+ an excell5ce t w 9 "t imp>t int]e/ to ! "w4 ,ord] & simplicity are ! two laws %e mu/ obey if %e is to get ?r\gh ) dignity & self-respect4 ,an ord] ( ! day & an ord] ( ! week mu/ be made out & foll[$ z f> z possible4 ,sy/em & arrangem5t are ! great "t sav]s4 ,to sit d[n at "o's desk once a day or once a week & make out consci5ti\sly a li/ ( all ! ?+s necess>y to be done 9 ! "t nam$1 !n divide & tabulate ^! accord+ z seems be/1--?is use ( ! bra9 w economize "t & w save _m a we>y /ep4 ,ord]l9ess 9 "w leads mo/ directly to t h>mony & peace 9 h\sekeep+ :i* ! av]age woman is s fe>ful ( los+ :5 %e takes up ! labor = h]self4 ,! writ] us$ frequ5tly to take lun*eon at ! h\se ( a clev] fri5d :o cook$ & s]v$ ! meals4 ,h] cook+ c\ld always be c\nt$ on z delici\s2 b x 0 ! s]v+1 t ,scylla & ,*>ybdis 9 "o1 ( mo/ wom5 :o mu/ 8d0 entirely = !mselves1 t a/oni%$ & delight$ "o4 ,on a side-table1 ready = h] h&1 7 plac$ ! extra di%es ne$$4 ,on ?is1 too1 0 room = ^? ?+s only tempor>ily necess>y on ! d9+-table4 ,! occasions :5 ! ho/ess mu/ rise to s]ve h] gue/s 7 r$uc$ by ! p]fection ( h] arrangem5ts to a m9imum4 ,:5 %e 0 compell$ to visit pantry or kit*51 %e left ! table )\t a flurry & 0 back ) ! article 9 "q almo/ be=e "o realiz$ h] dep>ture4 ,?is grace 9 s]vice 0 p>tly1 ( c\rse1 a matt] ( nature1 b x 0 l>gely due to tra9$ & sy/ematic habits ( "w4 ,^! oil$ ! :eels ( h\sekeep+ & made !m run m or less smoo?ly4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,a ,,simple ,,m5u ,! woman )\t a maid mu/ cultivate simplicity z well z ord] 9 h] h\sehold arrangem5ts4 ,to d ?is requires "s orig9ality ( s\l & m9d4 ,%e mu/ model h] "w n ^u :at h] neighbors & fri5ds d1 b ^u :at %e ?9ks necess>y to be done = ! com=t & good heal? ( h]self & ^? dep5d5t ^u h]4 ,%e mu/ n attempt m ?+s ?an %e c d well4 ,_m a "y woman :o />ts out ) joy\s int5tion to be cook = husb& & family1 fails 9 h] int5tion by reason ( plann+ too l>ge a bill ( f>e4 ,= beg9n]s1 at lea/1 x is well to cut out made dess]ts & pret5ti\s salads4 ,a cream s\p ) a broil$ /eak1 potatoes nicely cook$1 lettuce ) a ,fr5* dress+1 c(fee & fruit1 make a d9n] :i*1 if neatly s]v$1 af=ds n\ri%m5t & delight to ! ord9>y man4 ,h[ mu* bett] to attempt no?+ m ?an ?is & make a success ( x ?an to try = roa/1 two or ?ree vegetables1 an intricate salad & a pudd+1--to h ^! imp]fectly a*iev$ & awkw>dly s]v$4 ,= x goes )\t say+ t x is mu* m difficult to s]ve an elaborate ?an a simple meal4 ,also ! elaborate meal dem&s = s]v+ _m m di%es1 & ! extra di%es make add$ "w 9 ! di%-wa%+ :i* foll[s a meal z ! night ! day4 ,simplicity ( liv+ mu/ be ! aim ( ! woman :o does h] own "w4 ,x is only by cultivat+ simplicity t %e c live re/fully & ) ! ta/e t makes = beauty4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,divid+ ,,h\sehold ,,tasks ,9 a h\sehold :]e no s]vant is employ$ ea* memb] ( ! family %\ld regul>ly p]=m c]ta9 duties4 ,:]e !re is a family ( "s size all ! "w %\ld n be cr[d$ ^u ! %\ld]s ( ! mi/ress4 ,if "o p]son does ! du/+1 ano!r ! m5d+1 ano!r ! cook+1 ano!r ! sweep+1 & s on ?r\gh ! li/ ( necess>y employm5t 9 a h\sehold1 ! burd5 ne$ n fall too heavily ^u any "o4 ,no paid s]vant c feel ! int]e/ 9 successful a*ievem5t t rew>ds ! ef=t ( ^? :o are labor+ = ! conv5i5ce & beauty ( _! own home4 ,a h\sehold conduct$ on plans ( ! mo/ rigid economy may /ill be *e]ful & ev5 *>m+ if ! memb]s ( x *oose to view ! matt] 9 a sort ( ,bohemian1 picnick+ _s4 ,if ! duties are assign$ ) reg>d to ! ta/es & capacities ( ea*1 no real h>d%ip is involv$ & a _s ( gaiety is invok$ by ! conc]t$ ef=t at produc+ com=t ) ! exp5diture ( little money4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,vulg>ity ,,( ,,pret5se ,an utt] abs5ce ( pret5se is ! only graceful attitude 9 a home conduct$ 9 ! way describ$4 ,to be a%am$ ( ! "w "o does & to try to conceal x results 9 an uneasy1 hypocritical mann] & deceives no "o4 8,i almo/ op5$ my own door :5 %e call$ on me10 said a silly1 snobbi%1 impecuni\s woman 9 tell+ ( ! visit paid h] by a ri* resid5t ( ! neighborhood4 ,! rem>k bl9d$ no "o & made ! speak] ridicul\s4 99 99 99 99 99 ,!re are books ( v>i\s k9ds writt5 = ! help ( ! woman :o mu/ get on )\t a maid4 ,^! (t5 c make = h] a quick] & bett] pa? to h] goal ?an %e c "w out alone & unaid$4 ,"o ( ! be/-kn[n /ories ab\t ! great ,engli% /atesman1 ,*>les ,james ,fox1 is ( 8 le>n+ to c>ve4 ,he det]m9$ to make a conque/ ( ?is bran* ( k z he did ( any o!r attempt$ by him4 ,day aft] day he br\ght to ! d9+-table ) him a book on c>v+1 & cut ! f[l or jo9t plac$ be=e him 9 accordance ) ! rules ( ! book4 ,8 subsequ5t beautiful c>v+ 0 ! result ( ?is me?od1 ( 8 will+ness to le>n ! be/ way ( do+ :atev] he attempt$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,help ,,f ,,cook-,,books ,reliable books on cook+1 on ! relative values ( foods1 on sanit>y h\sekeep+1 are n h>d to f9d1 :ile ! magaz9es & pap]s are full ( happy sugge/ions on ^! & k9dr$ !mes4 ,a woman :o int5ds to be h] own maid %\ld possess "s reliable volumes on h] subject1 %\ld make h] "w m int]e/+ to h]self & m valuable to h] family by a ref]5ce to au?orities on h] subject4 ,! m "o kn[s ab\t ! "w "o has 9 h&1 ! m "o is apt to c>e = x4 ,& en?usiasm = "o's task1 9 its turn1 begets good "w4 99 99 99 99 99 ,no woman on :om falls ! burd5 ( keep+ h] own h\se %\ld feel p]man5tly disc\rag$4 ,%e may le>n to d h] task n only ) com=t b ) grace4 ,! difficulties 9 h] way c be surm\nt$ ?r\gh exp]i5ce & /udy4 ,if %e has a natural lik+ = ! ord]+ & manag+ ( a h\se1 h] "w may become a delight4 8,:y d y look s sad80 said "o woman to ano!r4 8,because ,i h a p]fect maid10 said ! second4 8,all my life until rec5tly ,i kept h\se = my husb& & myself4 ,h\sekeep+ 0 my passion z music is y\rs4 ,n[ my husb& insi/s t ,i %all keep a maid4 ,%e kn[s h] bus9ess4 ,x w\ld spoil h] if ,i help$4 ,i am a /rang] 9 my own kit*54 ,w\ldn't y be unhappy if y _h no opportunity to play ,*op9 & ,bee?ov58 ,well1 ,i am mis]able because ,i c't concoct salads & s\ps40 ,?is te/imony to ! joys ( h\sekeep+ is extreme1 b x may s]ve to *e] "s beg9n] 9 dome/ic labor :o sees only duty b no pleasure 9 ! "w4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,a ,,s\!rn ,,girl',s ,,p>ty ,to feel t because "o is limit$ 9 means "o c n ent]ta9 is :olly mi/ak54 ,! "y lady 9 a s\!rn family 9 ari/ocraite ,*>le/on1 h]self ! gr&daught] ( a gov]nor ( ! /ate & a memb] ( ! fam\s ,/4 ,cecilia ,society1 told ! writ]1 :o 0 a 8pay+ gue/0 9 ! simple home1 h[ %e ent]ta9$ h] fri5ds4 8,9 ! morn+ we :ip up a cake1 ord] cream1 telephone ! girls1 & :5 !y come1 t's ! p>ty60 ,b h] own delightful _s ( hospitality1 ! p]fection ( h] bre$+1 7 ! l>ge/ elem5t 9 t p>ty's und\bt$ success4 ,,*apt] ,,xxxix ,,woman ,,9 ,,bus9ess ,,relations ,,! numb] ( wom5 :o ent] into bus9ess life & ! numb] ( av5ues op5 to !m = e>n+ a liv+ are con/antly increas+4 ,& h[ev] mu* we may be dispos$ to ridicule ! agitation conc]n+ woman's progress & ! rights ( woman1 no fair-m9d$ p]son c fail to recognize ! happy *anges su* agitation 9 ! la/ decade has wr\ght 9 ! attitude ( ! _w t[>d wom5 :o make _! own way 9 x4 ,! old-fa%ion$ prejudice ( g5tility aga9/ a woman employ+ h] p[]s to make money has v l>gely disappe>$4 ,_m a delicate-m9d$ woman ( ! old s*ool has liv$ 9 pov]ty or has incurr$ unwill+ly f9ancial obligations to family connections because ( ! prejudice aga9/ h] do+ some?+ = h]self1 because ( ! feel+ t h] social position1 a matt] naturally ( high importance to a woman1 w\ld be injur$ by h] /epp+ out ( ! family ni*e & pick+ up some?+ = h]self on ! highway op5 to all4 ,%e fe>$ m ev5 ?an ?is1 p]haps1 ! loss ( ^? p>ticul>ly fem99e attributes & *>ms s de> to e real woman's he>t4 ,9 ! old-fa%ion$ conception ( a woman :o work$ outside ( h] own home1 x us$ to be tak5 = grant$ t %e mu/ be d5i$ social consid]ation & mu/ give up h] %>e ( fun 9 ! _w4 ,sid5ote3 ,a ,,libr>y ,,att5dant ,all ?is is n[ a matt] ( hi/ory1 & is recall$ only = ! purpose ( %[+ ! contra/ betwe5 h] =m] outlook & h] pres5t "o4 ,except 9 a few ultra fa%ionable communities 9 ! ,unit$ ,/ates1 ! social position ( a woman 9 bus9ess is n affect$ unhappily by h] "w4 ,provid$ %e has ! qualities requisite = social recognition & consid]ation1 h] bus9ess is no detrim5t4 ,%e has ! same g5]al opportunities = social recreation t (f] !mselves to a man ( bus9ess1 & x (t5 happ5s t h] "w gives a ze/ to ! enjoym5t ( su* opportunities1 unkn[n to wom5 ( idl] habits4 ,! writ] has 9 m9d1 z an example1 an engag+ "y woman :o s]ves mo/ acceptably z att5dant 9 ! public libr>y ( a we/]n city4 ,h] duties keep h] f n9e 9 ! morn+ till six 9 ! ev5+1 b !y h n1 9 ! lea/1 obscur$ h] *>m+ly agreeable p]sonal quality4 ,%e is mu* 9 dem&4 ,! numb] ( h] mascul9e admir]s is l>ge en\gh to excite ! envy ( _m a girl ^: fa!r's bank-acc\nt is a l>ge "o4 ,! att5tion %e gives to h] "w seems to imp>t an add$ vivacity to h] playtime4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,bus9ess ,,is ,,bus9ess ,not)/&+ ! fact1 h[ev]1 t a woman may enjoy ! leisure %e has = social dem&s z mu* aft] ent]+ bus9ess life z be=e1 %e mu/ n c>ry ! little graces & am5ities ( society into bus9ess life4 ,bus9ess is bus9ess ) a woman z well z a man1 & ! woman :o succe$s 9 ! call+ %e has *os5 is ! "o :o does n attempt to mix its details ) matt]s ( a m recreative nature4 ,%e mu/ n expect to w9 favors by any b ! /raight=w>d me?od ( do+ h] "w well4 ,! prejudice :i* s long exi/$ among m5 aga9/ wom5 9 bus9ess relations 0 p>tly caus$ by ! ?\ght t !y c\ld nev] =get t !y 7 wom51 c\ld nev] discuss "w or bus9ess relations on imp]sonal & rational gr\nds4 ,! fir/ lesson a woman mu/ le>n 9 mak+ h] own way f9ancially is to appreciate ! fact t ! (fice1 ! %op1 :atev] be h] place ( employm5t1 is no place = sup]flu\s c\rtesies4 ,! cultivation ( a cool1 matt]-(-fact1 uns5tim5tal way ( look+ at ! "w 9 h&1 is ! only pa? to honorable a*ievem5t4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,good ,,dress+ ,,important ,:at a woman we>s1 *eap morali/s to ! contr>y1 is always important4 ,x is especially important 9 bus9ess relations because ! impression %e creates is1 to a consid]able degree1 dep5d5t ^u x4 ,! self-support+ woman1 :5 ab\t h] "w1 %\ld n dress elaborately or conspicu\sly4 ,bright colors1 jewels1 extreme hats %\ld be rigidly b>r$ f h] w>drobe4 ,%e %\ld be dress$ quietly b becom+ly1 ) exquisite neatness &1 to a reasonable ext5t1 9 ! prevail+ mode4 ,a quiet elegance 9 /yle1 c>e 9 ! mann] ( putt+ on h] clo!s1--^! g a long way t[>d creat+ ! prop] appe>ance = ! woman 9 bus9ess4 ,human nature be+ z x is1 ! prop]ly g[n$ woman ( bus9ess has a f> bett] *ance ?an ! "o :o is d[dily dress$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,! habit ( _m "y girls 9 ! bus9ess _w ( we>+ sleeves t d n come to ! elb[ & display+ an am\nt ( *e/ t w\ld be prop] only at an ev5+ p>ty1 is a s]i\s mi/ake4 ,ano!r mi/ake is ! m>k$ pref]5ce = we>+1 ev5 9 w9t] "t1 :ite %irt-wai/s4 ,if ^! wai/s are to be really fre% & fit = we>1 a new "o mu/ be put on e day1 & t is an exp5se t ! we>]s cle>ly c n af=d4 ,d>k dresses1 ) t\*es ( :ite at neck & wri/s1 are a mu* wis] *oice :5 "o mu/ economize4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,opportunities ,,9 ,,bus9ess ,x is v commonly said t m5 h l>g] int]e/s ?an wom51 & t "o reason = ?is lies 9 ! fact t1 9 _! e-day "w1 !y =m1 naturally & easily1 relations ) _m p2 :]eas a woman's relations ) ! _w too (t5 come ?r\gh ! m artificial *annels ( pleasure4 ,a woman 9 bus9ess has ! same opportunity = meet+ p on real gr\nd t a man has4 ,%e %\ld take advantage ( ^! op5+s to heal?ful communication ) h] k9d4 ,we h all come 9 contact ) wom5 :o h be5 ?us broad5$ & h realiz$ 9 !m a k9d ( attraction n to be f\nd 9 wom5 lead+ m seclud$ lives4 ,x is well 9 summ+ up ! pros & cons ( ! bus9ess woman's life to lay /ress on h] advantages1 & ! "o j nam$ is "o ( :i* %e %\ld make ! mo/4 ,wom51 z a class1 are sometimes accus$ ( a lack ( me?od 9 ! p]=mance ( _! tasks4 ,?is is ow+ to ! fact t ! duties ( dome/ic life may (t5 be p]=m$ at any h\r ! h\sekeep] *ooses1 & t att5tion to !m is n rigidly fix$ z to "t4 ,a bus9ess c>e] is (t5 an effectual rem$y = desultory habits4 ,& ?is is ! reason t _m wom5 :o h s]v$ a "t z wage-e>n]s come back to h\sekeep+ ) r5ew$ en]gy & ability4 ,! be/ h\sekeep]s ! writ] has ev] kn[n 7 retir$ wom5 ( bus9ess4 ,!y put into ! tasks ( ! home ! me?od1 ! promptness !y le>n$ 9 a m exact+ field4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,aft] ,,work+ ,,h\rs ,h[ev]1 wom5 :o are engag$ ! great] "p ( ! day 9 (fices1 libr>ies1 9 %ops1 %\ld n be expect$ to engage to any l>ge degree 9 h\sehold duties4 ,x sometimes happ5s t ! memb]s ( a family circle1 9 :i* "o woman goes out to e>n h] bread & butt]1 h little consid]ation = h] tir$ /ate ( m9d & body :5 %e leaves h] "w & returns to h] home4 ,!y expect ( h] a d\ble duty1 & ?is is manife/ly unfair4 ,x is mo/ important t a bus9ess woman h re/ or div]sion 9 h] sp>e "t1 s t %e w n get into a rut1 s t %e may d ju/ice to h] "w4 ,sid5ote3 ,a ,,^w ,,( ,,advice ,h] family %\ld n =get t h] money-mak+ p[]s w be crippl$ by =c$ att5tion to o!r duties4 ,m5 are treat$ f> m consid]ately 9 ?is reg>d ?an wom54 ,no?+ is all[$ to int]f]e ) ! av]age bus9ess man's arrangem5ts4 ,to facilitate ^!1 ev]y?+ possible is done by 8 family4 ,?is may be because m5 are m insi/5t1 because !y h a way ( dem&+ _! rights4 ,x w\ld be well = wom5 9 bus9ess1 well also = _! families1 t !y %\ld 8look %>p0 & pursue ! same policy4 ,,*apt] ,,xl ,a ,,f9ancial ,,/udy ,,= ,,our ,,"y ,,m>ri$ ,,c\ple ,,?irty ye>s ago ,i held a he>t-to-he>t talk ) reasonable1 well-mean+ husb&s on ! vital subject ( ! monet>y relations betwe5 man & wife4 ,i quote a p>agraph1 ! =ce ( :i* has be5 confirm$ to my m9d by ! additional exp]i5ce & obs]vation ( ?ree m decades ?an 7 set to my cr$it ^u ! age-roll :5 ,i p5n$ ! words3 8,i h /udi$ ?is matt] long & s]i\sly1 & ,i (f] y1 z ! result ( my obs]vation 9 v>i\s walks ( life1 & c>eful calculation ( labor & exp5se1 ! bold ass]tion t e wife :o p]=ms h] "p1 ev5 tol]ably well1 9 :atsoev] rank ( society1 m ?an e>ns h] liv+1 & t ?is %\ld be an ackn[l$g$ fact ) bo? p>ties to ! m>riage contract4 ,! idea ( h] dep5d5ce ^u h] husb& is ess5tially false & mis*iev\s1 & %\ld be done away )1 at once & =ev]4 ,x has cru%$ self-respect out ( ?\s&s ( wom52 x has sc\rg$ ?\s&s f ! m>riage-alt> to ! tomb1 ) a :ip ( scorpions2 x has driv5 _m to desp]ation & crime40 ,i h head$ ?is *apt] 8,a ,f9ancial ,/udy = ,our ,"y ,m>ri$ ,c\ple10 because ,i h little hope ( *ang+ ! op9ions & cu/om ( ! mature b5$ict4 ,our y\?ful w$d$ pair %\ld come to a rational mutual und]/&+ 9 ! fir/ week ( h\sekeep+ z to an equitable division ( ! income on :i* !y are to live toge!r4 ,if y--our g5]ic 8,john0--%r9k f com+ d[n to 8cold bus9ess0 be=e ! e*oes ( ! w$d+-bells h di$ 9 e> & 9 he>t1 call ! discussion a 8matt] ( m>riage etiquette10 & approa* x confid5tly4 ,& d y1 ,mrs4 ,john1 meet 8 ov]tures 9 a /raight=w>d1 s5sible way1 ) no fooli% %r9k+ f ! idea ( ev5 app>5t indep5d5ce ( him to :om y h entru/$ y\r p]son & y\r happ9ess8 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,wife',s ,,portion ,x is1 ( c\rse1 y\r "p to h>k5 quietly to :atev] proposition y\r m bus9esslike sp\se may make z to ! j p>tition1 n ( 8 means1 :i* are likewise y\rs1 b ( ! sums y are respectively to h&le & to sp5d4 ,d n accept :at he apportions = y\r use z a b5efaction4 ,he has end[$ y ) all 8 worldly goods1 & ! law confirms ! end[m5t to a c]ta9 ext5t4 ,y are a co-proprietor--n a p5sion]4 ,if1 :ile ! glam\r ( ,love's ,"y ,dream envelops & dazes y1 y are *ill$ by :at seems sordid & commonplace1 take ! ^w ( an old campaign] = x t ! "t w come :5 y\r 8all[ance0 w be a factor 9 happ9ess z well z 9 com=t4 ,may ,i quote to ,john ano!r & a long] extract f ! ?irty-ye>-old 8,talk conc]n+ ,all[ances08 ,sid5ote3 ,,le>n ,,to ,,say ,,we 8,set aside f y\r income :at y adjudge to be a reasonable & lib]al sum = ! ma9t5ance ( y\r h\sehold 9 ! /yle suitable = p ( y\r means & position4 ,det]m9e :at pur*ases y w y\rself make1 & :at %all be entru/$ to y\r wife1 & put ! money ne$$ = h] proportion into h] c>e z frankly z y take *>ge ( y\r %>e4 ,try ! exp]im5t ( talk+ to h] z if %e 7 a bus9ess p>tn]4 ,let h] und]/& :at y c af=d to d1 & :at y c n4 ,if 9 ?is explanation y c say #8we' & #8ours1' y w ga9 a decid$ moral advantage1 al?\gh x may be at ! co/ ( mascul9e prejudice & pride ( p[]4 ,impress ^u h] m9d t a c]ta9 sum1 made ov] to h] ap>t f ! re/1 is h]s absolutely1 n a pres5t f y1 b h] hone/ e>n+s1 & t y w\ld n be hone/ 7 y to )hold x4 ,& d n ask h] #8if t w d8' any m ?an y w\ld address ! "q to any o!r woman4 ,) :at cordial dete/ation wives reg>d t brief qu]y :i* drops1 l a s5t5ce ( ! ,cre$1 f husb&ly lips1 ,i leave y\r sp\se to tell y4 ,also1 if %e ev] he>d ( a woman :o answ]$ any?+ b #8,yes6'0 ,c>ry+ out ! idea ( co-p>tn]%ip1 %\ld y\r wife exce$ h] all[ance1 runn+ h]self1 & consequ5tly y1 into debt1 meet ! exig5cy z y w\ld a simil> indiscretion on ! "p ( a "y & inexp]i5c$ memb] ( y\r firm4 ,treat ! extravagance z a mi/ake1 n a fault4 ,n "o girl-wife 9 "o hundr$1 :o has n be5 a wage-e>n]1 has _h any exp]i5ce 9 ! managem5t ( f9ances4 ,! fa!r gives ! daught] money :5 %e 7or h] "m7 tells him t %e ne$s x1 or w\ld l to h x4 ,:5 x is gone he is appli$ to = m4 ,%e has be5 a b5efici>y all h] life1 usually an irresponsible1 ?\ghtless recipi5t ( :at is lavi%$ or dol$ out to h]1 accord+ to ! p>5tal :im & means4 ,sid5ote3 ,,le>n+ ,,bus9ess ,,me?ods ,tea* h] bus9ess me?ods1 tactfully1 yet decid$ly4 ,"o "y wife ,i wot ( began keep+ ! exp5se-book1 pres5t$ to h] by h] husb&1 ) ^! entries3 8,janu>y f\r?4 ,receiv$ #ge4jj 7,sev5ty-five doll>s74 8,janu>y six?4 ,sp5t #gj4be %opp+1 etc4 8,balance--#d4ge set d[n to ,pr(it & ,loss40 ,aft] fifte5 ye>s ( m>ri$ life h] husb& di$1 bequea?+ ! :ole ( a l>ge e/ate to h]1 & mak+ h] sole gu>dian ( _! ?ree *ildr51--a confid5ce fully ju/ifi$ by h] conduct ( ! affairs ?us committ$ to h]4 8,my husb& tra9$ me pati5tly & ?or\ghly10 %e said to "o :o complim5t$ h] f9ancial sagacity4 8,i 0 an ignoramus :5 we 7 m>ri$40 ,!n1 laugh+ly1 %e relat$ ! 8pr(it & loss0 incid5t4 ,x is ! fa%ion to sne] at wom5's bus9ess me?ods4 ,:o are to blame = _! blund]s8 ,sid5ote3 ,,money ,,z ,a ,,toy ,%\ld y\r wife play ) h] all[ance1 z a *ild ) a new toy1 let c5sure fall ^u ^? :o h kept h] 9 lead+-/r+s4 ,tea* h] gradually to compreh5d h] responsibilities4 ,! s5se ( !m w /eady h] unless %e be exceptionally fea!r-bra9$4 ,be %e wa/eful or frugal1 ! all[ance y h made to h] is z hone/ly h]s to h1 to hold or to sp5d1 z ! ?ird ( y\r e/ate :i* ! law w give h] 9 ! ev5t ( y\r dea?4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,settlem5ts 8,settlem5ts10 accord+ to ! ,engli% s5se ( ! ^w1 are n yet common 9 ! ,unit$ ,/ates4 ,"o ,am]ican fa!r1 ^: daught] 0 on ! eve ( m>riage ) an ,engli%man1 ord]$ ! prospective bridegroom out ( ! h\se :5 ! =eign] qu]i$ innoc5tly z to ! 8settlem5ts0 ! future fa!r-9-law int5d$ to make ^u 8 *ild4 ,a man ) a reputation = =tune-hunt+ _h ne>ly rid himself ( ! slur by insi/+ t 8 fiance's l>ge e/ate %\ld be settl$ absolutely ^u h]self4 ,h] quondam gu>dian put a diff]5t complexion on ! g5]\s act by divulg+ ! circum/ance t ! husb&1 by ! same 8settlem5t10 _h made himself sole tru/ee ( 8 wife's prop]ty ( e description4 ,:ile !re are1 p]haps1 few] purely m]c5>y m>riages 9 our c\ntry ?an 9 any o!r1 x c n be d5i$ t a l>ge proportion ( ent]pris+ "y m5 act1 consci\sly1 or unwitt+ly1 on ! advice ( ! ,scot*man :o w>n$ 8 son n to m>ry = money1 b 9 seek+ a wife1 8to gae :]e money is40 8,is he m>ry+ h] =tune1 or h]self80 ask$ "o gossip ( ano!r :5 an approa*+ bridal 0 spok5 (4 8,!y say he is v mu* 9 love ) h]60 0 ! answ]1 utt]$ dubi\sly4 8,i fancy1 h[ev]1 t he w\ld h repress$ 8 passion1 if %e 7 a poor girl40 ,:i* br+s u to a mu* m delicate matt] ?an ! division ( ! income e>n$1 or inh]it$1 by ! bridegroom4 ,x is a fact t may h mu* significance--or none--t ! bride makes no m5tion ( end[+ h] husb& ) all1 or any portion1 ( h] worldly goods4 ,x is likewise significant t laws 7( man's devis+7 take x = grant$ t h] prop]ty goes ) h]1 s t 9 mo/ ( our /ates x is 8 )\t o!r act ( gift ?an ! m>riage c]emony4 ,sid5ote3 ,,m>ry+ ,,= ,,money ,! man :o m>ries = money has no scruples z to ! acceptance & ! use ( x4 ,sometimes x is squ&]$2 sometimes1 b n (t51 x is ho>d$2 mo/ frequ5tly 8x goes into ! husb&'s bus9ess0 & is inve/$ by him = ! b5efit ( himself & 8 family4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,bride',s ,,d[ry ,! nic] issue ) :i* we h to d is h[ our consci5ti\s ,john1 :o w\ld h m>ri$ 8 be/ girl if %e _h n possess$ "o p5ny 9 h] own "r1 is to comport himself ) reg>d to ! =tune1 mode/ or consid]able1 :i* %e br+s to him z d[ry4 ,briefly & cle>ly--z a tru/ n to be committ$ to ! *ances & *anges ( 8 individual v5tures4 ,no inve/m5t %\ld be made ( 8 wife's money )\t h] k & full cons5t4 ,9 all t he does1 :]e h] funds are involv$1 he %\ld be h] actu>y1 & :at pr(its result f 8op]ations0 ) h] funds %\ld be settl$ on h]self & *ildr54 ,by ?is c\rse alone c he reta9 8 self-respect1 8 reputation z an honorable man1 & c]ta9ly disabuse 8 wife's m9d ( any possible suspicion t 8 affection 0 n :olly = h]4 ,,*apt] ,,xli ,,m ,,ab\t ,,all[ances ,,! arrangem5t betwe5 husb& & wife conc]n+ money matt]s %\ld be no m def9ite & bus9esslike ?an t subsi/+ betwe5 fa!r & *ildr54 ,to be taught e>ly ! real value ( money is a di/9ct assi/ance to f9ancial integrity 9 lat] life4 ,to h 9 "o's possession1 ev5 z a *ild1 a sum :olly "o's own1 conduces to a feel+ ( self-respect & indep5d5ce4 ,z soon z a *ild is old en\gh to "k :at money is & t1 = money1 ?+s are b\ght & sold1 he %\ld h an all[ance1 be x only a p5ny a week4 ,sugge/ions1 b n comm&s1 z to its exp5diture %\ld accompany ! gift4 ,gradually ! weekly or mon?ly am\nt %\ld be increas$1 & in/ructions %\ld be giv5 z to its possible use4 ,a *ild may be advis$ prop]ly to divide 8 small funds betwe5 pleasure & *>ity1 or betwe5 ! ?+s b\ght solely = 8 own b5efit & ^? = ! b5efit ( o!rs1 ! value ( ! exp5diture1 9 ea* case1 be+ dep5d5t on ! fre$om ( 8 *oice4 ,z he gr[s old] he %\ld be taught to exp5d money = necessities4 ,he %\ld be tra9$ to buy 8 own clo!s & o!r p]sonal belong+s4 ,?is sort ( tra9+1 (t5 disa/r\sly neglect$1 is ( f> m practical value ?an _m ?+s taught 9 ! s*ools4 ,! feel+ ( responsibility eng5d]$ 9 *ildr5 or "y p by tru/+ !m ) a def9ite am\nt ( money = c]ta9 g5]al purposes1 c sc>cely fail ( a happy result4 ,x b9ds !m to a p]=mance ( duty :ile x conf]s1 at ! same "t1 a delici\s s5se ( fre$om4 ,an all[ance = necessities gives its recipi5t lib]ty ( *oice 9 exp5diture1 b ! *oice mu/ be judici\s or ! recipi5t suff]s4 ,?is x does n take him long to f9d out4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,runn+ ,,up ,,bills ,_m a man :o refuses 8 sons & daught]s all[ances1 p]mits !m to run up l>ge bills at ! v>i\s %ops :]e !y trade4 ,exactly :at ! am\nt ( ^! bills w be he nev] kn[s1 except t x is sure to be l>g] ?an he wi%es4 ,! *ildr5 ( su* a man nev] h any ready money4 ,!y d n "k :at to c\nt on &1 9 consequ5ce1 n be+ tru/$1 !y ex]cise all _! +5uity to outwit ! head ( ! family & to trick f him exactly z mu* money z possible4 ,a "y woman ) some:at extravagant t5d5cies1 :o belong$ to ! class ( ! unall[anc$1 begg$ h] fa!r = a new g[n4 ,%e plead$ & plead$ 9 va94 ,f9ally1 he said if %e _h any?+ t c\ld be made ov]1 he w\ld /& = ! bill4 ,?is ^w to ! wise 0 suffici5t4 ,%e took ! wai/-b& ( an old g[n to h] modi/e :o built ^u x a beautiful frock = :i* %e likewise s5t 9 a beautiful bill4 ,=tunately1 ?is daught] _h a fa!r :o 0 a connoisseur 9 wit1 & :o c\ld appreciate a joke ev5 at 8 own exp5se4 ,b ! example w s]ve1 z well z ano!r1 to illu/rate ! l5g?s to :i* a woman may resort :5 n treat$ z a reasonable & reason+ creature ab\t money matt]s4 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,conv5i5t ,,all[ance 8,i w\ld r h "o-half ! am\nt ( money ( :i* ,i might o!rwise h ! use1 & h x 9 ! =m ( an all[ance10 said a "y woman :o 0 discuss+1 ) o!r "y wom51 ! subject ( exp5ditures4 8,if ,i "k :at ,i am to h1 ,i c sp5d x to mu* bett] advantage4 ,i c ex]cise "s me?od 9 my pur*ases4 ,if ,i don't "k1 ,i am likely to sp5d a l>ge sum on "s two or ?ree articles ) ! hope t m is com+4 ,sudd5ly & unexpect$ly fa!r sets 8 foot d[n on fur!r bills1 & !re ,i am ) a dream ( a hat b no %oes1 or ) a ball g[n & n a coat to my back40 ,sid5ote3 ,,le>n+ ,,h[ ,,to ,,sp5d ,money plays "s "p 9 ! life ( e human be+ belong+ to a civiliz$ nation4 ,! "q ( successful & skilful exp5diture is a vital "q = ! majority ( p4 ,x is n a "q t c be solv$ )\t tra9+4 ,yet we educate *ildr5 9 v>i\s unimportant matt]s1 &1 = ! mo/ "p1 leave ?is ( money unt\*$4 ,9 no way c a *ild or a "y p]son be taught s readily & s quickly ! prop] use ( money z by limit+ 8 exp5ses to a c]ta9 sum1 :i* sum he nev]!less controls4 ,,*apt] ,,xlii ,a ,,few ,,( ,,! ,,little ,,?+s ,,t ,,are ,,big ,,?+s ,,see+ ! preval5ce ( rud5ess 9 human int]c\rse1 "o is =c$ to believe t ! natural man is a cross-gra9$ brute4 ,t bre$+ & culture (t5 conv]t him into a creature ( g5tl5ess & ref9em5t speaks volumes = ! p[]s ( su* influ5ce4 ,! av]age man seems to take a savage delight 9 occasionally giv+ v5t to brutal or cutt+ spee*4 ,to yield ?us to a primal & savage in/9ct is to prove t bre$+ & ref9em5t are lack+4 ,!re are c]ta9 bus9ess m5 :o1 dur+ bus9ess h\rs1 meet "o ) a brusk mann] t w\ld n be p>don$ 9 a petty tradesman4 ,if we visit !m on _! own bus9ess1--n z intrud]s1--x is ! same4 ,!y seem to feel t a c]ta9 disagreeable humor is an indisp5sable accompanim5t to ! occasion4 ,su* insol5ce is usually tak5 z a matt] ( c\rse by ! recipi5t1 :o imm$iately feels p5it5t at ! ?\ght ( 8 intrusion4 ,too (t5 ! physician :o is n a g5tleman at he>t trades on ! fact t 8 pati5ts reg>d him z a necessity1 & is z disagreeable z 8 temp] at ! mom5t dem&s t he %all be4 ,he intimates t he is s busy t he has sc>cely "t to give 8 advice2 t ! p]son he att5ds _h no bus9ess to get ill1 &1 9 fact1 makes himself g5]ally s disagreeable x is to be wond]$ at t ! suff]] ev] calls 9 ?is man aga94 ,yet 9 a draw+-room1 & talk+ to a well p]son1 ?is man's mann] w\ld be *>m+4 ,"o sometimes feels t sick p & physicians might well be class$ z 8pati5ts0 & 8impati5ts40 ,x is b fair to rem>k t1 to ! cr$it ( physicians1 x is n always ^? :o h _h ! l>ge/ exp]i5ce1 or :o /& at ! head ( _! pr(ession :o des]ve to come "u ! above condemnation4 ,! m5 to :om ! _w looks = advice 9 ! matt]s ( :i* !y h made a /udy1 & :o are sure ( _! /&+1 are (t5 ! g5tle/1 ! mo/ c\rte\s4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,c\nt+-,,room ,,c\rtesy ,our busy m5 h ne$ to rememb] t ! man :o is g5tle at he>t %[s t g5tl5ess 9 c\nt+-room & (fice z well z 9 draw+-room & d9+-room1 & ! fact t ! p]son call+ on him = bus9ess purposes or advice is a woman1 %\ld compel him to %[ ! polit5ess :i* --8is to d & say ,! k9de/ ?+ 9 ! k9de/ way40 ,on ! o!r h&1 common c\rtesy & consid]ation = ano!r dem& t ! p]son :o intrudes on a man :5 he is busy %\ld /ate 8 bus9ess briefly1 & !n take 8 dep>ture4 ,only ! busy man or woman kn[s ! agony t comes ) ! k t ! preci\s mom5ts ( ! work+ h\rs are be+ fritt]$ away on t :i* is unnecess>y1 :5 necess>y "w is /&+ by1 begg+ = ! att5tion x des]ves & %\ld receive4 ,let him :o w\ld be c>eful on po9ts ( etiquette rememb] t !re is an etiquette ( work+ h\rs z well z ( ! h\rs ( leisure & sociability4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,ask+ ,,que/ions ,p]haps ! lapse f good bre$+ mo/ common 9 g5]al society is ! ask+ ( que/ions4 ,"o is agha/ at ! evid5ce ( imp]t95t curiosity t p>ades "u ! guise ( fri5dly int]e/4 ,int]rogations z to ! am\nt ( "o's income1 occupation1 & ev5 z to "o's age & g5]al condition1 are legion & inexcusable4 ,e "o :o writes--be he a well-kn[n au?or or a p5ny-a-l9]--kn[s only too well ! qu]y1 8,:at are y writ+ n[80 & kn[s1 too1 ! feel+ ( impot5t rage awak5$ by ?is qu]y4 ,yet1 unless "o w\ld be z rude z "o's que/ion]1 "o mu/ smile inanely & make an evasive answ]4 ,to ask no "q does n1 ( necessity1 mean a lack ( int]e/ 9 ! p]son ) :om "o is conv]s+4 ,a polite & sympa!tic att5tion w %[ a m g5u9e & appreciative int]e/ ?an mu* inquisitiv5ess4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a lack ( int]e/ 9 :at is be+ told "o is a brea* ( c\rtesy t is all too common4 ,(t5 "o sees a man or woman delib]ately pick up a book or pap]1 op5 x & glance ov] x :ile 8 int]locutor is 9 ! mid/ ( a /ory he means to make int]e/+4 ,if ! conv]sation is int]e/+1 x des]ves ! undivid$ att5tion ( bo? p]sons2 if :at is be+ said is n wor? att5tion1 ! li/5] %\ld at lea/ respect ! speak]'s int5tion to please4 ,!re is no?+ m damp5+ to conv]sational en?usiasm1 or m 8squel*+0 to eloqu5ce1 ?an to f9d ! eyes ( ! p]son ) :om "o is talk+ fix$ on a book or magaz9e1 :i* he decl>es he is simply 8look+ ov]10 or at ^: pictures he is 8only glanc+40 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,good ,,li/5] ,a good li/5] is 9 himself an inspiration4 ,ev5 if "o is n attract$ by ! p]son to :om "o is talk+1 "o %\ld assume int]e/4 ,?is rule also holds good ) reg>d to ! att5tion giv5 to a public speak]4 ,9 li/5+ to a prea*] or to a lectur]1 "o %\ld look at him /eadily1--n all[+ ! eyes to w&] ab\t ! build+ & along ! ceil+ & walls4 ,?is habit ( a seem+ly fix$ att5tion is easily cultivat$4 ,if "o is really int]e/$ 9 ! address1 x aids 9 ! enjoym5t & compreh5sion ( x to wat* ! speak]'s facial play & ge/ures4 ,if "o is bor$1 "o may yet fix ! eyes ^u ! face ( ! p]son to :om "o is suppos$ to be li/5+1 & cont9ue to ?9k "o's own ?\ghts & to plan "o's own plans4 ,& c]ta9ly ! p]son :o is ex]t+ himself = ! ent]ta9m5t ( 8 audi5ce w speak bett] & be m com=table = ! k t eyes belong+ to "s "o :o is app>5tly absorb$ 9 8 address are fix$ ^u him4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,tactful ,,criticism ,"o ( ! difficult ?+s to d is to pass a criticism or make a sugge/ion z to ! spee* or mann] ( ano!r p]son4 ,yet !re are times :5 to refra9 is to d ! greate/ unk9dness to a p]son s9c]ely eag] to le>n4 ,a happy solution is to include "o's self if possible 9 ! c5sure giv54 8,i'm afraid we 7 all a little boi/]\s to-night10 said a tactful woman ( ! _w to a "y girl :o really _h be5 boi/]\s4 ,%e caught ! criticism int5d$ & yet felt no hurt at ! speak]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,talk+ ,,at ,,! ,,telephone ,conditions "u :i* o!rwise polite p]sons feel t !y c be rude are ^? att5dant on a telephone conv]sation4 ,) ! fir/ ^w _m a man drops 8 c\rtesy z if x 7 a g>m5t t did n fit him4 ,& wom5 d ! same4 ,if 8,c5tral0 7 to record all t %e 7x seems to be usually a 8%e07 he>s1 & all t is said to h]1 our e>s w\ld t+le4 ,true x is1 t %e sometimes is surly1 p]t & ill-mann]$4 ,b if %e is ill-br$1 t is no reason = ! p]son talk+ to foll[ suit4 ,7 "o really am5able to arre/ = pr(anity ov] ! wires1 ! police w\ld be kept busy if !y p]=m$ _! duty4 ,b putt+ aside ! und]br$ :o swe>s1 let u li/5 = a mom5t to ! s-call$ c\rte\s p]son1--= he is c\rte\s "u ord9>y circum/ances3 ,sid5ote3 ,,scold+ ,,c5tral 8,hello6 ,c5tral6 h[ long are y go+ to keep me wait+8 ,i told y ,i want$ #8#cjdj ,spr+4' ,yes6 ,i did say t6 & if y w\ld pay att5tion to y\r bus9ess y w\ld "k x6 ,i nev] saw su* a wor?less set z !y h at t ,c5tral ,(fice4 ,got !m1 did y8 ,x's "t6 ,hello1 #cjdj1 is t y8 ,well1 :y ! devil didn't y s5d t /uff ar\nd ?is morn+8 ,go+ to1 "r away1 are y8 ,well1 x's "t y did4 ,:at ails y p1 anyway8 ,no66 ,c5tral666 ,i'm n ?r\gh1 & ,i wi% to heav5 y'd let ?is l9e alone :5 ,i'm talk+10 & s on1 ad inf9itum4 ,is all ?is wor? :ile1 & is x necess>y8 ,& mu/ wom51 :o1 z !y call !mselves ladies1 d n give v5t to express$ pr(anity1 s f> copy ! mann]s ( ! s-call$ /rong] sex t !y scream l %rews ov] ! telephone8 ,call+ "o day on a woman :om ,i _h met ) pleasure half a doz5 times1 ,i 0 ! unwill+ li/5] to h] conv]sation ) h] groc]4 ,%e began by rat+ ,c5tral = n ask+ 8,:at numb]80 z soon z ! receiv] 0 lift$ f ! hook4 ,hav+ w>m$ up to bus9ess on ?is unse5 girl1 %e got /ill m heat$ ) ! groc] at ! o!r end ( ! wire4 ,%e _h ord]$ "o k9d ( apples1 & he _h s5t h] ano!r1 & ! slip ( pap] conta9+ ! li/ ( h] pur*ases _h an item ( a five-c5t box ( mat*es t %e _h n ord]$4 ,) reg>d to all ( :i* %e expo/ulat$ %rilly & ) num]\s exclamations t 7 z ne> z %e d>$ come to mascul9e explosives1--su* z 8,great ,heav5s60 8,goodness graci\s60 & s =?4 ,aft] ?reat5+ to transf] h] cu/om to ano!r groc]1 & refus+ to accept ! apology ( ! abject tradesman1 %e compromis$ by say+ t %e w\ld give him ano!r trial1 & hung up ! receiv]1 com+ into ! p>lor & beg9n+ a conv]sation once m 9 ! ev5 society voice ,i _h inv>iably he>d be=e f h]4 ,sid5ote3 ,,c\rtesy ,,pays ,t ! ways ( telephones & ! p]sons :o op]ate !m are sometimes try+1 no "o c d5y1--lea/ ( all1 ! writ] ( ?is *apt]1 :o lives 9 a h\se ) "o ( ^! madd5+ ess5tials to human com=t4 ,b ! loss ( temp] t manife/s itself 9 ! outw>d spee* is n a requisite ( ! prop] appreciation & use ( ! telephone4 ,x is no?+ less ?an a habit1 & a p]nici\s "o1--?is way we h ( talk+ into ! transmitt]4 ,let u rememb] t c\rtesy pays bett] ?an curses1 & polit5ess bett] ?an pr(anity4 ,if n1 !n let u h poor] s]vice f ,c5tral & pres]ve our self-respect4 99 99 99 99 99 ,nev] speak ( call+ a fri5d on ! 8phone40 ,! abbreviation is vulg> ?\gh "o sometimes he>s x on ! lips ( delightful p4 ,b "o %\ld n make ! mi/ake ( ju/ify+ a solecism by say+ 8,mrs4 ,s-&-s says x60 ,to /udy ! graces & avoid ! blund]s ( o!r p %\ld be ! aim ( ^? :o aspire to be well-br$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,9 ,,m>ket ,,& ,,%op ,! bre$+ ( a woman is (t5 %[n by ! mann] %e uses :5 %opp+ or m>ket+4 ,c\rtesy to cl]ks1 to tradesm5 ( e sort is ! m>k ( a 8lady10 ! ^w us$ 9 t beautiful old-fa%ion$ s5se to :i*1 alas6 we h gr[n a little call\s4 ,:ile a cu/om] has ! "r measurably to see :at a %op af=ds be=e %e makes h] *oice1 %e has no "r to give a cl]k ! tr\ble ( tak+ out ev]y?+ :5 %e has no int5tion ( buy+4 ,if %e gives mu* tr\ble be=e h] decision z to a pur*ase is rea*$ %e %\ld ?ank ! cl]k 9 *>ge = 8 extra labor4 ,! fact t he is paid = 8 "t does n make ?is duty ! less4 ,alt]cations ) cl]ks & o!r subord9ates 9 a %op are 9 execrable ta/e1 are (t5 a sign ( an hy/]ical z well z a *ol]ic temp]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,if wom5 %\ld be consid]ate 9 _! mann] t[>d employees ( ! %ops :]e !y trade1 x is q z true t cl]ks %\ld be tra9$ to civility by _! employ]s4 ,= in/ance1 a "p ( ! duty ( cl]ks is1 ( c\rse1 to keep wat* ov] ! articles sold4 ,to d ?is x is n necess>y1 h[ev]1 to wat* ! cu/om] z if %e 7 a prospective ?ief4 ,?is attitude on ! "p ( ! cl]k is n pleasant = ! cu/om] & does n enc\rage trade4 ,sid5ote3 ,,unwise ,,ende>m5ts ,! suspici\s attitude is1 h[ev]1 no worse ?an ! famili> "o employ$ by "s ( ! "y wom5 s]v+ 9 %ops4 ,a cl]k :o urges a cu/om] to buy because ! article 9 "q has prov$ s satisfactory 9 h] own family1 or ! "y woman :o calls "o 8de>ie0 or 8honey0 z %e fits a cloak ^u "o or manipulates "o's mill9]y1 makes a mi/ake4 ,! relation betwe5 cl]k & cu/om] %\ld be always =mal & c\rte\s on bo? sides4 99 99 99 99 99 ,m>ket+ is a bran* ( %opp+ 9 :i* _m wom5 n fundam5tally ill-natur$1 h ! appe>ance ( be+ s4 ,!re is a k9d ( ugly scrut9y :i* _m wom5 apply to ! inspection ( vegetables1 meat & o!r edibles t is mo/ unattractive4 ,if ^! wom5 _h an idea ( ! way !y look :5 !y b5d _! h>d cold eyes ^u ! innoc5t vegetables & fruits1 !y w\ld1 at any co/1 cultivate a m agreeable mann]4 ,bew>e ( ! m>ket+ />e4 ,z = a /r+ bag1 if y h "o put x 9 ! furnace4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a rud5ess ( :i* p :o %\ld "k bett] are frequ5tly guilty is t ( criticiz+ a de> fri5d ( ! p]son to :om "o is talk+4 ,?is is n only ill-mann]$1 b unk9d1 & "o ( _m flagrant violations ( ! ,gold5 ,rule4 ,if a man loves 8 fri5d1 d n call 8 att5tion to t fri5d's fail+s1 nor twit him on 8 fondness = su* a p]son4 ,he is happi] = n see+ ! fail+s1 & if ! fri5d%ip br+s him any happ9ess1 or makes life ev5 a little pleasant] = him1 d n be guilty ( ! cruelty ( cl\d+ t happ9ess4 ,if ! man does see ! faults ( him he loves1 & loyally ignores !m1 pret5d t y are n aw>e ( ! foibles t[>d :i* he w\ld h y believe him bl9d4 ,! k ( ! peccadillos ( ^? 9 :om we tru/ comes only too soon2 we ne$ n hurry on ! always disappo9t+1 (t5 bitt] k4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,nev] ,,patronize ,p]haps lack ( bre$+ %[s 9 no?+ m ?an 9 ! mann] ( receiv+ an invitation4 ,%\ld a man say1 patroniz+ly1 8,oh1 p]haps ,i c arrange to come10--:5 y invite him to "s function1 write him d[n z unwor?y ( ano!r invitation4 ,he is lack+ 9 respect to y & 9 appreciation ( ! honor y conf] on him 9 ask+ him to p>take ( ! hospitality y h devis$4 8,really10 prote/s "o man pla9tively1 8,i am v tir$6 ,i h be5 out e night = two weeks1 & n[ y want me = to-morr[ night4 ,i am d\btful :e!r ,i ought to come4 ,i am s we>y t ,i feel ,i ne$ re/40 ,! /ately woman :o _h ask$ him to h] h\se1 smil$ amus$ly3 8,pray let me settle y\r d\bts = y10 %e said1 8& urge y n to neglect ! re/ nature dem&s4 ,y\r fir/ duty is to h]1 n to me40 ,! man 0 too obtuse or too conceit$ to p]ceive ! veil$ s>casm1 & to "k t ! invitation 0 )drawn4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,ackn[l$g+ ,,favors ,unless "o receives special p]mission f ! p]son giv+ an invitation to hold ! matt] op5 = "s good & suffici5t reason1 "o %\ld accept or decl9e a v]bal invitation z soon z x is giv54 ,if circum/ances make ?is impossible1 "o %\ld apologize = hesitat+1 say+1 8,i am s anxi\s to come t ,i am go+ to ask y\r p]mission to s5d y my answ] lat]1 aft] ,i asc]ta9 if my husb& has no engagem5t = t ev5+10--or "s su* =m4 ,! ho/ess w readily grant su* a reque/4 ,x may seem f>-fet*$ to speak ( +ratitude z a brea* ( etiquette1 b ! lack ( ackn[l$gm5t ( favors is v mu* l x4 ,! man :o accepts all done = him z 8 due1 :o =gets ! 8?ank y0 9 return = ! trifl+ favors1 is n a g5tleman--9 t respect1 at lea/4 ,! "y m5 & "y wom5 ( to-day are too (t5 spoil$ or he$less1 tak+ pretty att5tions (f]$ !m z matt]s ( c\rse1 & z _! "r4 99 99 99 99 99 ,9 ?is miscellane\s *apt] x may be well to en=ce :at is said else:]e ) reg>d to ! respect e man %\ld %[ to wom54 ,= in/ance1 e man :o really respects ! wom5 ( 8 family w remove 8 hat :5 he ent]s ! h\se4 ,!re are1 h[ev]1 m5 :o kiss ^! same wom5 ) cov]$ heads4 ,9 a well-kn[n play act$ by a travel+ company "s ye>s ago 9 a small t[n1 ! h]o1 /&+ 9 a g>d51 told ! h]o9e he lov$ h]1 0 accept$ by h]1 & b5t to kiss h] )\t remov+ ! conv5tional d]by f 8 blond pate4 ,all s5tim5t 0 de/roy$ = ! spectators :5 irate ,hib]nian acc5ts s\nd$ =? f ! gall]y )3 8,suppose ye take (f y] hat1 ye ill-mann]$ blokey60 ,! ,iri%man 0 9 ! "r4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,a ,,^w ,,to ,,! ,,%y ,i w\ld say a ^w to ^? :o1 ?r\gh ba%fulness or self-consci\sness1 d ! ?+s !y ought n to d & leave undone ^? ?+s :i* !y ought to d4 ,!y are s uncom=table 9 society1 s afraid ( n appe>+ z !y %\ld1 & s mu* absorb$ 9 wond]+ h[ !y look & act1 & wi%+ t !y did bett]1 t !y are guilty ( ! v acts ( omission & commission !y w\ld gu>d aga9/4 ,if ,i c\ld give "o rule to ! ba%ful x w\ld be3 ,=get y\rself & y\r affairs 9 int]e/ 9 o!rs & _! affairs4 ,be s fully occupi$ notic+ h[ well o!rs appe> & try+ to make ev]ybody ab\t y com=table1 t y h no "t to ?9k ( y\r behavior4 ,y w !n n be guilty ( any flagrant brea* ( etiquette4 ,! mo/ c\rte\s wom5 ,i h ev] kn[n1 ^? ^: mann]s 7 a *>m to all :om !y met1 7 ^? :o 7 self-=getful & always wat*+ = opportunities to make o!r p com=table4 ,su* are ! que5s ( society4 ,sid5ote3 ,,undue ,,self-,,criticism ,if y d make a mi/ake take consolation f ! fact--:i* w be app>5t to y 9 "t--t o!rs d ! same4 ,p]fect good bre$+ is a /ate to :i* few atta9 absolutely4 ,"o %\ld n make "o's self ?or\ghly unhappy by too con/ant self-criticism1 = to d ?is is to disobey--p>adoxically--a fundam5tal social law4 ,! old negro :o1 :5 ask$ to describe :at he meant by 8quality folks10 express$ ?is law :5 he answ]$1 8,quality nev] d\bts !irselves40 ,! beg9n] mu/ d\bt1 b he %\ld n agonize ab\t x4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,talk+ ,,%op 8,talk+ %op0 is usually allud$ to z a decid$ brea* ( etiquette4 ,9 _m cases x is s1 yet !re are p :o are nev] s ent]ta9+ z :5 do+ ?is v ?+1 & !re are companies 9 :i* x is entirely prop] !y %\ld d x4 ,"o mu/ use discretion4 ,c]ta9ly1 no "o %\ld be =c$ to talk ( 8 daily "w if he evid5tly pref]s n to d s4 ,physicians 9 p>ticul> %\ld n be compell$ to play ! pr(essional :5 !y are try+ to relax socially4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a p>ty is n ! place = propag&a4 ,! ho/ess :o may be an ard5t advocate ( votes = wom5 %\ld be sure t all h] gue/s %>e h] views be=e %e dogmatically prop\nds !m4 ,%e may inde$ politely introduce ! topic & if %e m]ely does ?is1 no "o pres5t has a "r to take (f5se or %\ld hesitate 9 ! same _s to speak ( h] own view4 ,b ! subject is likely to prove dang]\s4 ,! writ] has se5 *>m+ wom5 utt]ly lose control ( !mselves & all b maul "o ano!r ov] a 8discussion0 on equal suffrage4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a social mi/ake to be avoid$ is t ( be+ 8t\*y40 ,to be s occasions "o great unhapp9ess & leads to s]i\s mi/akes 9 conduct4 ,d n all[ y\rself to f9d slights & affronts 9 ! demeanor ( ^? ) :om y are ?r[n unless !re is real f\ndation = ! feel+4 ,! m5tal attitude ( fancy+ t o!rs int5d to w\nd u gr[s if x is indulg$ 9 & f9ally leaves u hopelessly out ( key4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,cordial ,,greet+s ,"o ( ! mo/ valuable ( social acquisitions is ! habit ( greet+ p 9 a delightful way4 ,le>n to say 8,good morn+60 audibly1 he>tily1 z if y meant x4 ,unless "o means to be v in=mal "o %\ld add ! "n1 8,good morn+1 ,miss ,smi?40 ,we all "k m5 & wom5 :o possess ?is grace ( salutation :i* l+]s happily on ^? on :om x is be/[$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,9 meet+ p = ! fir/ "t "o %\ld take pa9s to get _! names exactly "r4 ,!re is some?+ v p]sonal 9 "o's feel+ ab\t "o's "n & "o has a "r to h x spok5 & writt5 z "o elects4 ,if a man is nam$ 8,davies0 he c n be blam$ = res5t+ x if p indiff]5tly address him z 8,mr4 ,davis40 ,if p :o make introductions w\ld take m tr\ble to speak ! "n di/9ctly1 ?is w\ld help greatly4 ,if ! "n is indi/9ctly utt]$ y may say1 8,p>don me1 ,i did n und]/& ! "n80 :i* w g5]ally br+ =? a cle> repetition4 99 99 99 99 99 ,small matt]s1 su* z quiet brea?+1 betok5 g5tlehood4 ,fl[]s1 if "o is inhal+ _! p]fume1 %\ld be treat$ delicately1--! face %\ld n be buri$ 9 !m4 ,rememb] ,br[n+'s ^w1 8,any nose ,may ravage ) impunity a rose40 ,x is frequ5tly said t ! wea!r1 z a topic ( conv]sation1 is taboo$4 ,b h[ *>m+ly ,*e/]ton has def5d$ x3 8,!re are v deep reasons = talk+ ab\t ! wea!r 444 x is a ge/ure ( primeval wor%ip 444 to beg9 ) ! wea!r is a pagan way ( beg9n+ ) pray]4 ,!n x is an expression ( t elem5t>y idea 9 polit5ess--equality 444 9 t we all h our hats "u ! d>k blue spangl$ umbrella ( ! univ]se40 ,surely aft] read+ s f9e a plea1 no "o ne$ fe> to beg9 ! morn+'s conv]sation ) a ^w on ! wea!r6 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,gett+ ,,(f ,a ,,/reet-,,c> ,"o ( ! ?+s t mo/ wom5 ne$ to le>n is ! correct way ( gett+ (f a /reet-c>1 :i* is to /ep (f ) ! "r foot1 fac+ front1 :i* saves awkw>dness 9 e case & sometimes1 if ! c> />ts too soon1 an accid5t4 99 99 99 99 99 ,no?+ m absolutely m>ks a lady ?an h] mann] t[>d h] social inf]ior4 ,%e is k9dly b nev] patroniz+4 ,a woman :o 0 once be+ fitt$ = new %oes & :o _h inquir$ ( ! cl]k :o wait$ on h] h[ 8 family 7--! man _h be5 at 8 po/ = _m ye>s & %e call$ him by "n--turn$ to a woman acqua9tance :o 0 wait+ h] turn & said1 explanatorily1 8,i always speak to ! but*]1 ! bak] & ! c&le/ick mak]40 ,if ?is 0 h] cu/om1 :y apologize = x8 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,at ,,! ,,hotel ,,table ,:5 /rang]s are s]v$ at ! same table 9 a hotel1 !y %\ld b[ & say 8,good morn+0 or 8,good ev5+10 on sitt+ d[n & on leav+4 ,?is polite cu/om1 (t5 ignor$ 9 ,am]ica1 is univ]sal abroad4 99 99 99 99 99 ,if "o wi%es to ask a social favor su* z a c>d = a fri5d to a ball to :i* y y\rself h be5 ask$1 or a lett] ( introduction1 x is bett] to make ! reque/ by note if possible1 z ?is gives ! o!r p]son m fre$om to refuse if t seems necess>y4 99 99 99 99 99 ,:5 "o alludes to an entire family by "n1 respect requires t ! article 8!0 be prefix$4 ,"o's fri5ds are 8! ,smi?s10 8! ,br[ns10 etc4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,ov]:elm+ ,,complim5ts ,pr(use complim5t is z mu* to be avoid$ z undue or untactful criticism4 ,we are annoy$ by ^? :o p]si/5tly ov]:elm u ) admir+ comm5t4 ,on ! o!r h&1 "o %\ld n hesitate to speak a s9c]e ^w t w give pleasure2 "o may )\t apology tell a fri5d t h] new hat is unusually becom+ or h] dress arti/ic4 ,!re are p :o pride !mselves on 8nev] say+ any?+ disagreeable0 & !y succe$ 9 be+ s v (t5 & q unconsci\sly because !y lack savor4 ,ar?ur ,b5son1 ! ,engli% essayi/1 has amus+ly po9t$ out h[ dull society w\ld be if we turn$ x into a *orus ( indiscrim9ate praise ( h[ delightful ,a is1 :at a *>m+ p]son is ,b1 h[ altoge!r lovely is ,c4 ,p]haps ! wise/ rule is to draw a %>p l9e betwe5 ^? :o are entitl$ 9 a /rict s5se to ! all-devot$ attitude ( affection & ^? :om we m]ely l & f9d ent]ta9+4 ,ev5 ! mo/ pat5t faults & %ortcom+s ( ! =m] mu/ be sacr$--8,a fri5d conceals ! weaknesses ( a fri5d40 ,( ! second class "o may speak frankly ?\gh ( c\rse always 9 ta/e & )\t malice4 ,,*apt] ,,xliii ,,on ,,mann] ,,:ile x is important to ma/] ! m9uti t gov]n ! conduct ( social life1 x is well to rememb] t a good mann] is to be desir$ ev5 above good mann]s4 8,n :at %e says b ! way %e says x0 0 ! clev] explanation made by an exp]i5c$ society woman ( ! *>m ( a dbutante4 ,if "o d\bts ?is = a mom5t1 "o has only to recall ! impression made n[ & !n by a f9e-mann]$ workman or a c\ntry woman :o has nev] att5d$ a 8function0 9 h] life4 ,su* p]sons1 by virtue ( a native dignity ( be>+1 by a beautiful simplicity & a k9dness ( he>t t[>d all m51 w\ld be at home 9 any assembly wor?y to receive !m4 ,"o c fancy t ,/ella1 :om ,dean ,swift lov$1 w\ld h be5 at ease 9 any society1 ev5 _h %e lack$ h] protector's in/ruction & fo/]+ c>e4 ,we are told t %e has civility1 repose & humor1 ?ree great qualities t make = social success4 ,a well-kn[n woman1 describ+ ^? :o possess savoir-faire1 says3 8,!y h ! g5ius ( tact to p]ceive1 ! g5ius ( f9esse to execute1 ease & frankness ( mann]1 a k ( ! _w t no?+ c surprise1 a calmness ( temp] t no?+ c di/urb1 & a k9dness ( disposition t c nev] be exhau/$40 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,le>n+ ,,to ,,talk ,,well ,to le>n to talk well & to li/5 well & to d ei!r ) grace z ! conv]sational situation dem&s is a real accompli%m5t4 ,"o writ] on ! subject ( conv]sation has giv5 excell5t advice3 8,socialize e ?\ght be=e y utt] x40 ,9 o!r words1 "o %\ld be> 9 m9d z vividly z possible ! probable direction & ext5t ( ! sympa?ies & int]e/s ( ! p]son to :om "o is speak+ & endeavor n to let 8 words g f> afield f ^? sympa?ies & int]e/s4 ,conv]sation is ess5tially a p>tn]%ip game &1 z 9 play+ golf1 ! "o :o is talk+ %\ld n get too f> away f 8 li/5]4 ,!re h be5 p l ,col]idge :o did n conv]se b :o spoke habitually 9 monologues & spoke s brilliantly t society 0 glad to li/54 ,) ord9>y m5 & wom51 h[ev]1 !re %\ld be give & take4 ,9 li/5+1 try to cat* plumply a ball toss$ to y & 9 return try to pit* y\r own ball nei!r too high nor too l[1 too s(t nor too h>d4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,us+ ,,! ,,"q ,,=m ,x is n necess>y1 9 ord] to be pleasant1 to make "o's self :at ,em]son has happily call$ 8a mu% ( concession40 ,d n be afraid to h convictions ( y\r own & at ! prop] mom5t to express !m cle>ly4 ,at ! same "t1 "o %\ld avoid a dogmatic mann] & any assumption t "o's own view is ! only view wor? hav+4 ,! say+ 8,/ick y\r op9ions 9 nobody's sleeve0 is to ! po9t4 ,utt] y\r own ideas frankly b d n =ce _! acceptance on any "o4 ,ev5 a good idea is likely to lose by any sugge/ion ( insi/5ce4 ,x is well to make frequ5t use ( ! "q =m 9 beg9n+ a new topic ( discussion1 to ask1 8,d y admire ,=bes-,rob]tson80 r ?an 8,i admire ,=bes-,rob]tson because1 etc40 ,9 ! "o case1 y c\rte\sly include 9 y\r talk ! "o :om y are address+1 &1 9 ! o!r1 y simply use him z an audi5ce = y\r own b5efit4 ,p :o are giv5 to ! latt] =m are usually ^? :o are fond ( talk+ con/antly :i*--x may be rem>k$--is a dang]\s ?+ to d4 ,! man or woman :o says a great deal at "o "t is pretty sure to say some?+ he w be sorry =4 ,besides1 f a /rategic po9t ( view1 ! man :o is always talk+ himself does n le>n2 he has no *ance to be f9d+ :]e ! o!r p]son /&s1 :ile1 all ! "t1 he is sett+ himself up z a t>get4 ,a great tea*] once said1 8,a wise man w he> & w increase le>n+40 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,a ,,love ,,( ,,h>mony ,n to talk con/antly ( "o's self & "o's affairs is1 ( c\rse1 a fundam5tal rule ( good bre$+ & yet !re are p]sons :o "k h[ to talk ab\t !mselves--on occasions :5 x is prop] to d s--9 a delightful way1 because !y h ! in/9ct = speak+ simply & )\t conceit4 ,to speak ( "o's ills ( any sort is ord9>ily a mi/ake4 8,consume y\r own smoke40 8,to walk g5tly1 humbly1 &1 if possible1 gaily ) o!r m50 is a *>m+ rule = social conduct4 ,"o %\ld be a lov] ( h>mony4 ,to diff] abruptly f ! "o :o is speak+ may1 9 r>e in/ances1 be necess>y1 b only !n4 ,aft] all1 ! p]son :o is 8agreeable0 is "o :o agrees4 ,:ile "o may n %>e "o's neighbor's views 9 ! :ole1 "o may (t5 seize on "s po9t ( x ) :i* to sympa?ize & on :i* to set ! seal ( "o's approval4 ,! cl]gyman :o1 at an ev5+ p>ty :]e a well-kn[n woman _h read a pap] on ,sir ,oliv] ,lodge & 8 exp]im5ts 9 ! occult1 vehem5tly d5\nc$ all occultism1 d\btless felt t 8 (fice dem&$ ?is attitude1 b he made 8 ho/ess & ! o!r gue/s exce$+ly uncom=table4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,c&les ,,( ,,conv]sation ,avoid ! un=tunate habit t "s p]sons h ( snuff+ out ! c&les ( conv]sation4 ,if any "o introduces a topic1 ! reasonable inf]5ce is t he is int]e/$ 9 t topic & rem>k numb] two f y %\ld n ?r[ cold wat] on x4 ,d n m]ely li/51 b att5d1 /ret* m5tally t[>d y\r companion1 be ) him 9 ?\ght4 8,f9d out :]e p are & meet !m !re40 ,only 9 ?is way w y y\rself ga9 ! full measure ( :at ! o!r p]son has to give & be able to reply to ! f9] po9ts ( 8 rem>k4 ,a good rule 9 conv]sation is 8:5 9 d\bt keep /ill40 ,nev] be betray$ into talk+ m]ely because y are n]v\s4 ,ar?ur ,v9c5t speaks some:]e ( ! unhappy spectacle made by ! %y man :o attempts to cov] 8 %yness by g>rulity4 ,:5 y d speak1 take all ! "t !re is4 ,t is to say1 d n feel hurri$ or flurri$4 ,speak :5 y speak--)\t fe> & ) dignity4 ,nev] press unduly any slight advantage y may acquire 9 conv]sation4 ,y\r companion is n y\r victim nor are y to %9e z 8 sup]ior4 ,a f9e mann] is made up ( _m slight sacrifices4 ,if1 9 spite ( y\rself1 y are drawn into a heat$1 wordy & futile argum5t1 y are ju/ifi$ 9 ass5t+ to any claims :atsoev] y\r unwise companion may make4 ,x 0 ! practise ( ,/ella1 says "o ( h] biograph]s1 to agree ) su* p]sons1 z %e said1 8to save noise40 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,tell+ ,,( ,,/ories ,if y attempt to tell a /ory1 be sure1 9 ! fir/ place1 t x is wor? tell+1 & 9 ! second place1 t y "k x ?or\ghly1 & 9 ! ?ird place1 t y tell x reasonably well4 ,b ! social company t is trans=m$ into a succession ( 8good /ories0 does n repres5t ! highe/ social plane4 ,a p>ticul>ly good /ory is always desirable if x comes 9 naturally to po9t "s phase ( a discussion t is 9 progress1 b a run ( /ories repres5ts an intellectual desc5t4 ,9 :atev] y are tell+ or describ+1 bew>e ( too mu* detail4 ,rememb] ! ,fr5* prov]b1 8,to tell all is to be t$i\s40 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,s]5ity ,,& ,,g5tl5ess ,*e]fully accord ! o!r p]son ! la/ ^w 9 any discussion1 giv+ y\r own view once quietly & if x does n ar\se int]e/1 d n insi/ on x4 ,nev] raise y\r voice to comm& att5tion4 ,nev] spoil a f9e mom5t by any disagreeable allusions4 ,!re are always "s p :o h a gift = introduc+ ! subject ( ptoma9e poison+ dur+ ! fi% c\rse1 or :o1 on an out+1 make all ! o!r wom5 uncom=table by talk+ ab\t snakes4 ,rememb] t comp>isons are dang]\s & t sup]latives are also (t5 ! =]unn] ( emb>rassm5t4 ,be prep>$ = surprises & d n all[ !m to ?r[ y (f y\r balance4 ,nev] all[ y\rself to become a fussbudget4 ,s]5ity is "o great elem5t ( social *>m4 ,du ,mauri] tells u t ,trilby knew 8:5 to speak & :5 to keep sil5ce40 ,george ,m]$i?1 9 8 delightful romance1 ,s&ra ,belloni1 says ( ,s&ra1 8,%e mov$ s(tly z if %e lov$ ev]y?+ t %e t\*$40 ,a c]ta9 s(tness ( mann] is und\bt$ly a l>ge "p ( attractiv5ess1 b ! %>p edge ( self-ass]tion de/roys4 ,! g5tl5ess ( ,hamlet's unhappy love is %[n 9 ! w>n+ spok5 be=e "o ( h] entrances3 8,s(t y n[1 ! fair ,ophelia40 8,rememb]10 says a mod]n writ] on voice tra9+3 8t e "t y speak y t\* "s "o ) y\r voice40 99 99 99 99 99 ,bew>e ( giv+ out viol5t op9ions be=e kn[+ :]e ! o!r p]son /&s4 ,?is does n mean t y %\ld be untrue to y\r own beliefs1 b t y %\ld1 ) "o newly met1 ca/ ab\t = at lea/ a plank on :i* y two may /& 9 fri5dly relation4 ,x is ! p :o mo/ accurately measure ! common gr\nd betwe5 !m & o!r p :o make ! mo/ & ! happie/ fri5d%ips4 99 99 99 99 99 ,nev] comm& ev5 "o :o is paid to s]ve y4 ,! same words put 9 ! =m ( a reque/ are equally effective & are mu* m cr$itable to y & grateful to ! p]sons to :om !y are spok54 ,engli% s]vants inv>iably say 8,?ank y0 = any in=mation or direction giv5 !m1 b ?is smacks ( s]vility & "o hopes ! cu/om w n be tak5 up 9 ?is c\ntry4 ,nev] beg9 a conv]sation ) 8,say10 z 8,say1 ,m>jorie40 ,9 a gr\p conv]sation be c>eful to include1 by voice & glance1 e "o 9 x4 ,sid5ote3 ,,say ,,good-,,by ,,to ,,all ,f9ally1 be sure1 z ,em]son says1 8t p l a room bett] ) y 9 x ?an out ( x10 & :5 y leave ! room1 le>n to d x 9 a way t adds to ! pleasure y\r pres5ce has already giv54 ,d n1 = "o ?+1 neglect to say good-by to e "o pres5t if ! numb] is small4 ,! grace ) :i* "s p take leave am\nts to an art4 ,"s "o has record$ ) delight 8! exquisite1 laugh+ f>ewells0 ( ,mrs4 ,br[n+4 ,,*apt] ,,xliv ,,self-,,help ,,& ,,obs]vation ,,to ! un9/ruct$1 socially1 ! b>e rules & conv5tions regulat+ social life seem (t5 mean+less & arbitr>y4 ,a c>eful consid]ation ( ^! conv5tions1 su* z x has be5 ! aim ( ?is book to give1 %[s t no "o ( !m is )\t a reason = its be+4 ,! classification1 h[ev]1 ( social =ms1 toge!r ) ! reasons gov]n+ ^! =ms1 does n provide a body ( k suffici5t to s]ve z guide 9 ! matt] ( comport+ "o's self easily & to advantage socially4 ,!re are _m situations & po9ts ( behavior t x is impossible = a book ( etiquette to cov]4 ,! laws laid d[n are only a small social capital4 ,!y discuss ! m obvi\s matt]s ( social contact4 ,num]\s po9ts1--& ^! ( ! f9] sort1--mu/ be left )\t comm5t4 ,9 ! treatm5t ( ^! po9ts & problems ! p]son desir\s ( solv+ !m prop]ly mu/ rely l>gely on 8 own good s5se4 ,"o mu/ apply to social exig5cies ! same me?ods ( reason+ t "o applies 9 meet+ ! o!r exig5cies ( life4 ,9 a ^w1 "o mu/ resort to ! pr9ciple ( self-help4 ,sid5ote3 ,,le>n ,,by ,,obs]vation ,mu*1 too1 & ?is 9 ! pleasante/ fa%ion1 may be done to ext5d "o's k ( good =m by obs]vation ( p :o h unusual tact & social discrim9ation4 ,9 e city1 t[n & village1 !re are su* p]sons :o are di/+ui%$ above _! fell[ citiz5s by social in/9ct1 by ! tal5t = p]=m+ gracefully & acceptably ! (fices ( society4 ,9 diff]+ degrees1 b /ill p]ceptibly1 ^! p1 l ! pa9t]1 ! musician1 ! poet1 are m>k$ by a ta/e & a ?ir/ = p]fection4 ,to r5d] social life z int]e/+1 z *>m+1 z beautiful z possible1 to make ! social ma*9]y run smoo?ly & )\t friction1--?is is _! aim4 ,su* p give quality to social int]c\rse4 ,!y obs]ve ! little am5ities ( life ) grace4 ,!y "k h[ to ent] a room & h[ to leave x4 ,!y convey by ! b[ ) :i* !y greet "o on ! /reet ! prop] degree ( acqua9tance%ip or fri5d%ip4 ,!y dress ) propriety4 ,!y take "t by ! =elock 9 ! adoption ( new devices = ! ent]ta9m5t ( _! fri5ds4 ,_! p>ties are ! prettie/2 _! h\ses are ! mo/ popul>4 ,n necess>ily clev] ( spee*1 !y are clev] 9 small & *>m+ activities4 ,!y h a m>k$ tal5t = all ! little graces t make social int]c\rse easy & delightful4 ,?is tal5t1 ( c\rse1 c n be communicat$1 b mu* may be le>n$ by wat*+ its op]ation4 ,c]ta9ly "o c ga9 f x a k ( p>ticul>s1 ( h[ to p]=m c]ta9 def9ite acts1 ev5 if ! conque/ ( ! me?od is impossible4 ,x is n difficult 9 any community to discov] p :o approa* m or less ne>ly ! type describ$4 ,!y h a recogniz$ di/9ction4 ,to wat* !m1 &1 by ?is means1 to wre/ f !m a "p at lea/ ( _! secret1 is ! sure/ way = ! individual1 timid or unv]s$ socially1 to discov] 8 own social p[] & to increase x4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sid5ote3 ,,trifles ,,make ,,p]fection ,sid5ote3 ,,! ,,uni=mity ,,( ,,cu/om ,d\btless "s ( ^? :o read ?is book may be dispos$ to ask :y1 9 social life1 s mu* /ress is laid on comp>atively small matt]s & :y "o c n d z "o pleases8 ,to ^! we recomm5d ,gilb]t ,ham]ton's delightful essay1 ,cu/om & ,tradition1 address$ 8,to a "y g5tleman :o _h firmly resolv$ nev] to we> any?+ b a gray coat40 ,we quote briefly3 8,! p5alties impos$ by society = ! infraction ( v trifl+ details ( cu/om are (t51 z x seems1 out ( all proportion to ! (f5se2 b s are ! p5alties ( nature4444 ,nature w be obey$4 ,society w be obey$4444 ,society does n desire to exclude y because y w n we> ev5+ dress2 b ! dress is cu/om>y1 & y\r exclusion is m]ely a consequ5ce ( y\r non-con=mity4 ,! view ( society goes no f>!r 9 ?is ?an ! arti/ic conception 7n v delicately arti/ic1 p]haps7 t x is pretti] to see m5 9 black coats regul>ly plac$ betwe5 ladies r\nd a d9n]-table ?an m5 9 gray coats or br[n coats4 ,! uni=mity ( cu/om appe>s to repres5t uni=mity ( s5tim5t4444 ,society does n argue ! po9t ) y1 b only excludes y40 ,,! ,,end ,,index ,abbreviations1 #c1 #d ,accept+ invitations1 #ahc ,acc\nts1 keep+1 #cia ,ackn[l$g+ favors1 #daj1 #daa ,ackn[l$g+ gifts1 #afi1 #agj1 #agc1 #agd ,acqua9tance betwe5 "y m5 & "y wom51 #acb ,address+ invitations1 #a1 #d1 #f1 #g1 #h1 #i ,address+ lett]s1 #ca ,address+ p]sons ( political prom95ce1 #cd1 #ce ,address+ ! nobility1 #da ,aft]noon receptions1 #ec1 #ed ,aft]noon receptions1 correct dress1 #ed ,aft]noon receptions1 refre%m5ts =1 #ed ,aft] six o'clock1 #dc ,all[ances3 *ildr5's weekly sums1 #cie ,all[ances1 exp5diture (1 #cif1 #cig1 #cih ,all[ances = *>ity1 #cdg ,all[ances1 importance (1 #cie ,all[ances1 value (1 #cif ,anniv]s>ies1 #fc ,ann\ncem5ts1 w$d+1 #hf1 #hg ,answ]+ lett]s1 #bi1 #cf1 #cg ,arrival at functions1 #ef1 #eg ,ask+ que/ions1 #dja1 #djb 8,at ,home0 ann\ncem5t ?r\gh newspap]s1 #d 8,at ,home0 days1 #ag1 #ah 8,at ,homes10 invitations to1 #b 8,at ,homes0 ( brides1 #hi ,att5dants1 w$d+1 #gj1 #gi ,automobil+1 etiquette (1 #bhe1 #bhf ,ba*elor aft]-!at] supp]1 #agf ,ba*elor d9n]s1 #agi1 #ahj1 #aha ,ba*elor hospitality3 *ap]on requir$1 #agf ,ba*elor hospitality3 engag+ *ap]on =1 #agg ,ba*elor hospitality3 =m ( ent]ta9+1 #agf ,ba*elor hospitality3 issu+ invitations1 #agh ,ba*elor receptions1 #agf1 #agi ,ba*elor re/aurant supp]1 #ahj1 #aha ,ba*elor tea1 #agf1 #agh ,ba%fulness1 #dab ,bir?day gifts1 #aga ,bo>d+-h\se1 etiquette (1 #bdi ,bo>d+-s*ools1 #aac ,boat+1 etiquette (1 #bhh1 #bhi ,books1 c>e (1 #bce ,books1 borr[+1 #bce ,b\quets1 bridal1 #gc1 #hb1 #hd ,b[+1 #bdj ,box-p>ty1 correct seat+ (1 #abi ,breakfa/1 w$d+1 #ga1 #gb1 #ge1 #gf1 #hd1 #he ,bridegroom's dress1 #gb1 #hb ,bride's dress1 #gb1 #hb ,bridesmaid's dress1 #gb1 #hb ,bruskness1 #cii ,bus9ess c\rtesy1 #dja ,butl]'s dress1 #ajb ,call1 :o makes fir/1 #be1 #bf ,call]s1 refre%m5ts =1 #ai1 #bj ,call+ aft] a b]eavem5t1 #bb ,call+-c>ds1 #d ,calls1 #ad ,calls3 aft] an invitation has be5 decl9$1 #bd ,calls3 8,at ,home0 days1 #ag1 #ah ,calls3 conv]sation dur+1 #abg ,calls3 h\rs =1 #bf1 #abe1 #abf ,calls3 l5g? (1 #abf ,calls3 leav+ c>ds1 #ah1 #ai1 #bj ,calls3 on fiance1 #ba ,calls1 on ! sick1 #bf ,calls1 return+1 #bc ,calls1 social obligation (1 #ag ,calls to (f] sympa?y1 #bc ,canoe+1 etiquette (1 #bhh1 #bhi ,c>d-p>ty1 !1 #ef1 #eg ,c>ds1 #ad ,c>ds1 call+1 #ad ,c>ds1 correspond5ce1 #ce ,c>ds = an 8,at ,home10 #b ,c>ds = cl]gym51 #af ,c>ds = ev5+ reception1 #c ,c>ds = home w$d+1 #fi1 #gj ,c>ds = matron1 #ae ,c>ds = m51 #ae ,c>ds = m\rn+1 #ba1 #bb ,c>ds = w$d+ anniv]s>ies1 #fb ,c>ds = "y wom51 #ae ,c>ds3 /yle = call+1 #ad ,c>ds3 :5 call+1 #ai1 #bj ,c]emony1 w$d+1 #gd1 #ge1 #hj ,*ap]on1 #ade ,*ap]on at college p>ties1 #adb ,*ap]on at !at]s1 #aej ,*ap]on1 duties (1 #adg1 #adh1 #adi1 #aej1 #agg ,*ap]on1 excursions )1 #aej ,*ap]on1 necessity (1 #adf1 #adg ,*ap]on1 obligation to1 #adg ,*ap]on3 :5 travel+1 #bgh1 #bgi ,*>ity1 all[ance =1 #cdg ,*>ity3 delicacy 9 gift-mak+1 #cec1 #ced ,*>ity1 organiz$ me?ods (1 #cdg1 #cdh1 #cdi ,*>ity1 private1 #ceb1 #cec ,*>ity3 settlem5t "w1 #cea1 #ceb ,*>ity3 special fields (1 #cej1 #cea ,*ildr51 #cae ,*ildr5 at hotels1 #bed1 #bee ,*ildr51 au?ority ov]1 #cai ,*ildr51 behavior (1 #cah ,*ildr51 indulg5ce to1 #caf1 #cag ,*ildr51 ob$i5ce (1 #cbb ,*ildr51 place (1 #cah ,*ildr51 travel+ )1 #cbj1 #cba ,*ri/5+ gifts1 #fd1 #agh ,*ri/5+ p>ties1 #fc1 #fd ,*ri/mas gifts1 #agb1 #agc ,*ur* acqua9tances1 #ccj ,*ur* companion%ip1 #ccj1 #cca ,*ur* etiquette1 #cbi ,*ur* etiquette3 mak+ fri5ds1 #cca ,*ur* etiquette3 pa/or & p>i%1 #cce ,*ur* etiquette3 pew hospitality1 #ccc ,*ur* etiquette3 visit+ congregations1 #cce ,*ur* etiquette3 welcom+ /rang]s1 #cca1 #ccb ,cl]ks & cu/om]s1 #djh ,cl]ks3 c\rtesy t[>d1 #djg ,club1 woman's1 #ccg ,co$ucation1 #acf ,co$ucation3 8,don'ts0 = girls1 #adj1 #ada1 #adb ,co$ucation3 =m+ fri5d%ips1 #ach1 #aci ,co$ucation3 local etiquette (1 #aci ,co$ucation3 social am5ities (1 #acg1 #ach ,college fe/ivities1 #adb ,college slang1 #ada1 #adb ,com+ out1 #abj ,com+-out p>ties1 #ee1 #ef ,companion%ip ( "o "y man1 #acj1 #aca ,complim5ts1 pr(use1 #dag ,condol5ce1 #cd1 #bjh1 #bji ,conduct t[>d gue/1 #aii1 #bjj1 #bja1 #bjb ,congratulations1 #cd ,congratulations1 w$d+1 #ge1 #hc1 #hd ,correspond5ce c>ds1 #ce ,correspond5ce1 value (1 #bi ,c\rtesy1 #cee ,c\rtesy3 ag$ m51 #cfj1 #cfa1 #cfb ,c\rtesy due eld]s1 #cee ,c\rtesy3 value ( def]5ce1 #ceg1 #ceh1 #cfj ,c\rtesy3 value ( discrim9ation1 #cef1 #ceg ,c\rtesies3 at dance1 #abh ,c\rtesies3 at !at]1 #abi ,c\rtesies1 "y m5 may pay girls1 #abh ,criticism1 rud5ess (1 #dji ,criticism1 tactful1 #djc1 #djd ,dance program1 #eh ,danc+ p>ties1 #eg1 #eh ,danc+ p>ties3 ! ho/ess1 #ei ,dean ( wom51 #adc1 #add ,dbutante1 #abj ,dbutante1 age (1 #aba ,dbutante1 app>el (1 #abb1 #abc ,dbutante3 com+ out1 #abj ,dbutante1 conduct (1 #abc1 #abd ,dbutante1 significance (1 #aba1 #abb ,decl9+ invitations1 #h1 #i1 #aj1 #aa ,d9n] coat1 #ajd1 #aje ,d9n]1 h\r = s]v+1 #ii ,d9n] p>ties1 #hh ,d9n] p>ties3 arrival1 #ajg ,d9n] p>ties3 *oice ( gue/s1 #hi1 #ij1 #ajf ,d9n] p>ties3 dep>ture1 #aji ,d9n] p>ties1 invitations to1 #f1 #g1 #h1 #i1 #ij ,d9n] p>ties3 g5]al sugge/ions1 #hi ,d9n] p>ties3 leav+ d9+-room1 #ajh ,d9n] p>ties3 leav+ draw+-room1 #ajf ,d9n] p>ties3 prep>ations =1 #ia1 #ib1 #ic1 #id1 #ie1 #if ,d9n] p>ties3 s]v+1 #ajj1 #aja ,d9n] p>ties3 ! small affair1 #hi ,disagreeabl5ess1 #djj ,d[ry1 bride's1 #cid ,dress3 betwe5 seasons1 #aef ,dress1 color 91 #afa1 #afb1 #afc ,dress1 consid]ation (1 #aed ,dress = balls & d9n]s1 #aef ,dress = bride1 #gb1 #hb ,dress = bridegroom1 #gb1 #hb ,dress = bridesmaids1 #gb1 #hb ,dress = bus9ess woman1 #chc1 #chd ,dress = butl]1 #ajb ,dress = *ri/5+ p>ties1 #fd1 #aje ,dress = *ur*1 #aff ,dress = h\se-man1 #ajb ,dress = h\sework1 #cgb1 #cgc ,dress = maid1 #ajb ,dress = maid ( honor1 #gb1 #hb ,dress = m5 at d9n] p>ty1 #ajc ,dress = travel+1 #bgj ,dress = u%]s1 #hc ,dress = v>i\s occasions1 #ed-aeg ,dress = wid[1 #bab ,dress = wid[ at second m>riage1 #ahg ,dress = wom5 at d9n] p>ty1 #ajc1 #aef ,dress3 individuality 91 #afb ,dress3 importance ( accessories1 #aei1 #afj ,dress3 its influ5ce on mann]1 #bec ,dress3 neatness 91 #afb1 #afc ,dress3 /reet g[n1 #aee ,dress3 suitable = occasion1 #aeh1 #afc1 #afd ,duty ( hospitality1 #bjc ,duty ( maid1 #ii1 #cfc ,duty ( mi/ress1 #cfc ,duty to eld]s1 #cee ,education ( "y girl1 #aaa ,embrac+1 #bdd ,engag$ c\ple1 #fj1 #fa ,engagem5ts1 #fa ,engagem5ts1 ann\ncem5t (1 #fa ,engagem5t gifts1 #agj ,ent]ta9+ at club-h\se1 #fe ,ent]ta9+ at hotel ballroom1 #fe ,escort+ wom51 #bdb1 #bdc ,ev5+ receptions1 #ec ,ex*ang+ photographs at college1 #ada ,exp5ses1 w$d+1 #ga ,f9ances3 acc\nts1 #cia ,f9ances3 advantages ( agreem5t1 #cij1 #cia ,f9ances3 advice to wife1 #chh1 #chi ,f9ances3 all[ance = wife1 #chi1 #cij ,f9ances3 exce$+ all[ance1 #cij ,f9ances3 inve/+ wife's money1 #cid ,f9ances3 m>ry+ = money1 #cib1 #cic ,f9ances ( "y m>ri$ c\ples1 #chg ,f9ances3 wife e>ns all[ance1 #chg1 #chh ,f+]-b[ls1 use (1 #bbb ,f+] nails1 #afd1 #bca ,fir/ names1 use (1 #abg1 #adj ,fl[]s = fun]als1 #bji ,=ks1 use (1 #bag1 #bah ,=ms ( address1 #cd1 #ce1 #da ,functions1 #eb ,functions3 aft]noon receptions1 #ec1 #ed ,functions3 anniv]s>ies1 #fb1 #fc ,functions3 ann\nc+ engagem5ts1 #fa1 #fb ,functions3 *ri/5+ p>ties1 #fc1 #fd ,functions3 com+-out p>ties1 #ee1 #ef ,functions3 danc+ p>ties1 #eg1 #eh ,functions3 d9n] p>ties1 #hh ,functions3 ev5+ receptions1 #ec ,functions3 high tea1 #ed1 #ee ,functions3 h\r = arriv+1 #ef1 #eg ,functions3 h[ to conduct "o's self1 #eb1 #eh1 #ei1 #fe ,functions3 leav+1 #ec1 #ee1 #ef1 #eg ,functions3 lun*eons1 #eb ,functions3 music1 #ee ,functions3 musicale1 #eg1 #ff ,fun]als1 #baj1 #baa1 #bab ,gifts1 #afg ,gifts1 ackn[l$g+1 #afi1 #agj1 #agc1 #agd ,gifts1 appropriate1 #afh ,gifts1 bir?day1 #aga ,gifts1 *ri/5+1 #aga1 #agb ,gifts1 ,*ri/mas1 #agb1 #agc ,gifts1 display ( w$d+1 #hd1 #agj ,gifts = ! baby1 #aga ,gifts = engagem5ts1 #agj ,gifts = w$d+s1 #afg1 #afh ,gifts = "y wom51 #aga ,gifts1 li/s (1 #agj ,gifts3 m>k+ silv]1 #afh ,girls3 advantages ( travel =1 #aaf1 #aag ,girls3 bo>d+-s*ool or college =1 #aab ,girls3 desirability ( accompli%m5ts =1 #aag1 #aah ,girls3 ent]ta9+ m5 9 _! room1 #cab1 #cac ,girls3 free & easy behavior1 #cjg ,girls1 #cjf ,girls3 impropriety ( advances1 #caj1 #caa ,girls3 je/+1 #cac1 #cad ,girls3 los+ respect1 #cjg ,girls3 maid5ly dignity1 #cab ,girls3 p]mitt+ lib]ties1 #cjh1 #cji1 #caj ,girls3 pla9 talk to1 #cjf ,girls3 s5d+ away to s*ool1 #aaa ,gloves1 #afe ,golf1 etiquette (1 #bhb1 #bhc1 #bhd ,grace1 say+1 #ajj ,greet+s1 #dad ,gue/s at hotels1 #bdi ,gue/s1 *oice (1 #aj ,h>mony1 #dba ,hat1 lift+ (1 #bch1 #bci1 #daa ,high tea1 #ed1 #ee ,home d9n]1 #de ,home div]sion3 plann+ =1 #dd1 #de1 #df ,home div]sion3 games =1 #dg ,home1 9 !1 #bbg ,home1 9 !3 brea*es ( mann]1 #bcg1 #bch ,home1 9 !3 c\rtesy1 #bbg1 #bbh1 #bbi ,home1 9 !3 c\rte\s att5tions1 #bbi1 #bcc ,home1 9 !3 family table1 #bbi1 #bcj ,home1 9 !3 good ta/e 9 spee*1 #bca1 #bcb ,home1 9 !3 polit5ess ess5tial1 #bcb1 #bcc ,home1 9 !3 recogniz+ o!rs' rights1 #bce1 #bcf ,home1 9 !3 respect = books1 #bce ,home1 9 !3 respect necess>y1 #bcc1 #bcd ,home1 9 !3 well-tra9$ voice1 #bcd ,home p>ty1 #dg ,home w$d+1 #fi ,home w$d+3 decorations1 #gc1 #gd ,home w$d+3 invitations to1 #fi1 #gj ,home w$d+3 matt] ( lights1 #gj ,home w$d+3 ord] ( procession1 #gd1 #ge ,horseback rid+1 etiquette (1 #bhi1 #bij ,hospitality1 #bja1 #bjb1 #bjc ,hospitality1 ba*elor1 #age ,hospitality1 duty (1 #bjc ,hospitality1 mutual obligations (1 #bjd ,hospitality1 return (1 #bje ,hospitality to /rang]s1 #bjf1 #bjg ,ho/ess at dance1 #ei ,ho/ess at table1 #bag1 #bbc ,hotel1 *ildr5 91 #bed1 #bee ,hotel etiquette1 #bdi ,hotel etiquette3 conduct t[>d wait]1 #beb ,hotel etiquette3 criticiz+1 #beb ,hotel etiquette3 d9+-room conduct1 #bea1 #beb ,hotel etiquette3 in/ructions = gue/1 #bdi1 #bej ,hotel etiquette3 l\d talk+1 #bej ,hotel etiquette3 tipp+1 #bec ,hotel gossip1 #bee1 #bef ,hotel intimacies1 #beg ,hotel1 summ]1 #beg ,hotel table1 at !1 #daf ,h\se-man1 dress (1 #ajb ,h\se-man1 duties (1 #ajc ,ideal society1 !1 #fg ,indulg5t p>5ts1 #caf1 #cag ,+ratitude1 display (1 #dji ,int]e/1 display (1 #djb1 #djc ,introductions1 #ch ,introductions3 an ,am]ican pres5t$ at c\rt1 #dj1 #da ,introductions3 cl]ical1 #dj ,introductions3 man ! "o pres5t$1 #ch ,introductions3 %\ld be made by ho/1 #da1 #db ,introduc+ a p]son 9 a l>ge circle1 #ci ,introduc+ a si/] or daught]1 #ci ,introduc+ "o's husb&1 #ci ,introduc+ pr(essional m51 #db ,introduc+ two wom5 ( ab\t equal age1 #dj ,invitations1 #a ,invitations1 ackn[l$g+1 #a1 #d1 #f1 #g1 #h1 #i ,invitations1 address+1 #f ,invitations1 appreciation (1 #dji ,invitations1 ba*elor's1 #agh ,invitations1 decl9+1 #h1 #i1 #aj ,invitations = an 8,at ,home10 #b ,invitations = bridge1 #aa ,invitations = c>d-p>ties1 #e ,invitations = com+-out p>ties1 #ef ,invitations = *ur* w$d+s1 #e ,invitations = dances1 #e ,invitations = d9n]s1 #f1 #g1 #h1 #i ,invitations = ev5+ receptions1 #c ,invitations = g>d5 p>ties1 #aa ,invitations = lun*eons1 #f1 #aj ,invitations = musicales1 #aa ,invitations = tea-dance1 #aa ,invitations = w$d+s1 #e1 #fi1 #gj1 #gh ,invitations 9 honor ( fri5d1 #b ,invitations3 issu$ 9 "n (1 #ac ,invitations3 mann] ( receiv+ v]bal1 #dji1 #daj ,invitations requir+ no acceptance note1 #a ,invitations3 s5t aft] a dea?1 #ab ,invitations3 )\t fir/ call hav+ be5 made1 #bc1 #bd ,invit+ a visitor1 #aig-aih ,je/+1 #cac1 #cad ,leave-tak+1 a man's1 #ace ,leav+ c>ds1 #bj1 #ba ,lett]-heads1 #cj ,lett]-writ+1 #bg ,lett]s1 answ]+1 #bi1 #cf1 #cg ,lett]s3 color$ lett] pap]1 #bi ,lett]s1 dat+1 #ca ,lett]s3 enclos+ /amps1 #cf ,lett]s1 h[ to write1 #bg ,lett]s3 int]*ange (1 #acj ,lett]s1 l5g? (1 #cc ,lett]s3 m\rn+ /ation]y1 #cj ,lett]s ( condol5ce1 #cd1 #bjh1 #bji ,lett]s ( congratulation1 #cd ,lett]s ( introduction1 #ce1 #cf1 #daf ,lett]s3 pla9 :ite pap]1 #bi ,lett]s3 po/al c>ds1 #cc ,lett]s3 signatures1 #cb ,lett]s3 social =ms1 #bi1 #cj ,lett]s3 wrong way ( treat+1 #bh ,li/5+1 value (1 #djb1 #djc ,little ?+s1 #cii ,lun*+ at a club1 #acd ,lun*eons1 #eb ,lun*eons3 ! table1 #eb ,maid1 dress (1 #ajb ,maid1 duties (1 #ii ,maid ( honor1 #gj ,maid ( honor's dress1 #gb1 #hb ,maid1 )\t a3 division ( tasks1 #cgf1 #cgg ,maid1 )\t a3 dress+ = "w1 #cgb1 #cgc ,maid1 )\t a3 importance ( ord]1 #cgc1 #cgd1 #cge ,maid1 )\t a3 simplicity1 #cge1 #cgf ,maid1 )\t a3 /udy+ h\sework1 #cgg1 #cgh1 #cgi ,maid5ly dignity1 #cab ,mann]1 #dah ,mann]3 beg9n+ conv]sation1 #dbe ,mann]3 c&les ( conv]sation1 #dbb ,mann]3 h>mony1 #dba ,mann]3 le>n to talk well1 #dai ,mann]3 leav+ a room1 #dbe ,mann]3 s]5ity1 #dbc1 #dbd ,mann]3 tell+ a /ory1 #dbc ,mann]3 ! "q =m1 #dbj ,mann]3 viol5t op9ions1 #dbd ,mann] ( lady t[>d social inf]ior1 #daf ,m>ket+3 ill mann]s :ile1 #djh ,m>riage1 c]emonies (1 #gd1 #ge1 #hj1 #ha ,m>ry+ = money1 #cic ,m5u c>ds1 #ig1 #bfa1 #bfb1 #bfc1 #bfd1 #bfe1 #bff1 #bfg ,mi/ress & maid1 #cfc ,mi/ress & maid3 duty to maid1 #cef1 #cff ,mi/ress & maid3 duty to mi/ress1 #cff ,mi/ress & maid3 mak+ confidante ( maid1 #cff1 #cfg ,mi/ress & maid3 mak+ fri5d ( maid1 #cfe1 #cff ,mi/ress & maid3 relations betwe51 #cfc1 #cfh ,mi/ress1 conduct (1 #cfc1 #cfd ,m\rn+3 att5d+ fun]als1 #bji1 #baj ,m\rn+3 c>ds (1 #ba ,m\rn+3 *ur* fun]als1 #bab ,m\rn+3 clos+ casket1 #baj ,m\rn+3 conduct ( b]eav$1 #bae ,m\rn+3 ext5d+ sympa?y1 #baa1 #bab ,m\rn+3 fl[]s1 #bji ,m\rn+ = m51 #bad ,m\rn+3 fun]al notices1 #bae ,m\rn+3 home fun]als1 #baj1 #baa ,m\rn+1 h\se (1 #bjh ,m\rn+ /ation]y1 appropriate1 #ba1 #bb ,m\rn+1 "t (1 #bad1 #bae ,m\rn+ veil1 #bab1 #bac ,m\rn+3 wid['s dress1 #bab1 #bac1 #bad ,mrs4 ,newlyri*1 ambitions (1 #bid1 #bie ,mrs4 ,newlyri*1 app>el (1 #cjc ,mrs4 ,newlyri*3 conduct t[>d s]vants1 #big ,mrs4 ,newlyri*3 engag+ s]vants1 #bif ,mrs4 ,newlyri*3 =m+ new acqua9tances1 #bii ,mrs4 ,newlyri*1 h\se (1 #cjc1 #cjd ,mrs4 ,newlyri*1 husb& (1 #bib1 #bic1 #bid ,mrs4 ,newlyri*1 mann]s (1 #bih1 #bii ,mrs4 ,newlyri*3 ma/]+ =ms1 #cjj1 #cja1 #cjb ,mrs4 ,newlyri*3 purse-pride1 #bid ,mrs4 ,newlyri*1 spee* (1 #bif ,mrs4 ,newlyri*1 social duties (1 #bia ,music at a reception1 #ee ,musicale1 #eg1 #ff ,music1 w$d+1 #gd ,napk91 use (1 #bag1 #bbb1 #bbd ,neighbors1 #cbc ,neighbors1 address+1 #cbd ,neighbors1 c\rtesy to1 #cbe ,neighbors1 famili>ity )1 #cbg1 #cbh ,neighbors1 high] significance (1 #cbf1 #cbg ,note-writ+1 z an accompli%m5t1 #acj ,notices1 fun]al1 #bae ,ob$i5ce1 *ildr5's1 #cbb ,obs]vation1 value (1 #dbg1 #dbh ,pap]1 lett]1 #bi1 #ce ,p>5ts1 indulg5t1 #caf1 #cag ,p>i%1 etiquette (1 #cbi ,p>ty calls1 #bc ,p>ties1 anniv]s>y1 #fc ,p>ties1 *ri/5+1 #fc1 #fd ,p>ties1 com+-out1 #ee1 #ef ,p>ties1 danc+1 #eg1 #eh ,p>ties1 d9n]1 #hh ,p>ties1 g5tlem5 %\ld att5d on ladies1 #acc1 #acd ,p>ties1 h\se1 #ahg ,pa/or & p>i%1 #ccd1 #cce1 #ccf ,p]fect social gr\p1 #fh ,photographs1 ex*ange (1 #ada ,polit5ess 9 home1 #bcb1 #bch ,po/al c>ds1 use (1 #cb1 #cc ,pres5tation at c\rt1 #dj-da ,privacy1 respect = o!rs'1 #bce1 #bcf ,public1 address+ wom5 91 #bdc1 #bde ,public1 assi/+ wom5 91 #bdb ,public1 bo>d+ a c> 91 #bdj1 #bda ,public1 b[+ 91 #bdj ,public1 embrac+ 91 #bdd ,public1 escort+ wom5 91 #bdb1 #bdc ,public1 etiquette 91 #bdj1 #bda ,public1 kiss+ 91 #bdd ,public1 lift+ hat 91 #bch1 #bci ,public1 remov+ hat 91 #bci ,public1 resign+ seat 91 #bda1 #bdb ,public3 !at] conduct1 #bde1 #bdf ,purse-pride1 #bid ,receiv+ a call]1 #abf ,receptions1 aft]noon1 #ec1 #ed ,receptions1 ev5+1 #ec ,receptions1 invitations =1 #c ,recreation1 #dc ,refre%m5ts = call]s1 #ai1 #bj ,refre%m5ts = home w$d+1 #fd ,refre%m5ts = receptions1 #fd ,re/aurant1 9 !1 #bei ,re/aurant1 9 !3 conduct1 #bei1 #bfj1 #bfa ,re/aurant1 9 !3 m5u c>d1 #bfa1 #bfb1 #bfc1 #bfd1 #bfe1 #bff1 #bfg ,re/aurant1 9 !3 ord]+1 #bei1 #bfj ,return+ calls1 #bc ,r[+1 etiquette (1 #bhh1 #bhi ,rud5ess1 #cii ,rules ( social life1 #dbf ,self-criticism1 #dab ,self-help1 #dbf ,s]v+ gue/s1 #aja1 #ajb ,settlem5ts1 #cib ,settlem5t "w1 #cea ,social favors1 ask+1 #daf ,spoon1 use (1 #bbj ,sports1 etiquette 91 #bhj ,sports1 etiquette 93 automobil+1 #bhe1 #bhf ,sports1 etiquette 93 boat+1 #bhh1 #bhi ,sports1 etiquette 93 canoe+1 #bhh1 #bhi ,sports1 etiquette 93 driv+1 #bhi ,sports1 etiquette 93 golf1 #bhb1 #bhc1 #bhd ,sports1 etiquette 93 horseback rid+1 #bhi1 #bij ,sports1 etiquette 93 polit5ess necess>y1 #bhj ,sports1 etiquette 93 r[+1 #bhh1 #bhi ,sports1 etiquette 93 swimm+1 #bhi ,sports1 etiquette 93 t5nis1 #bhf1 #bhg ,sports1 etiquette 93 ya*t+1 #bhg ,sports1 g5]al rules (1 #bha1 #bhb ,/reet-c>1 gett+ (f1 #dae ,summ] hotel1 etiquette (1 #beg ,supp]s1 ,sunday night1 #di1 #ej ,supp]s1 aft] ! !at]1 #agf ,swimm+1 etiquette (1 #bhi ,sympa?y1 c>ds (1 #bb ,sympa?y1 expressions (1 #baa1 #bab ,table1 at1 #baf ,table1 at3 c>v+1 #bag ,table1 at3 dr9k+ c(fee1 #bba1 #bbb ,table1 at3 eat+1 #baf1 #bbj ,table1 at3 salad1 #bbb ,table1 at3 second s]vice1 #bbd ,table1 at3 ! ho/ess1 #bag1 #bbc ,table1 at3 ! waitress1 #bbb ,table1 at3 use ( f+]-b[ls1 #bbb ,table1 at3 use ( =k1 #bag1 #bah ,table1 at3 use ( knife1 #bag1 #bah1 #bai ,table1 at3 use ( spoon1 #bbj ,table1 at3 us+ f+]s1 #bbj1 #bba ,table3 fruit c5t]piece =1 #ig ,table laws1 #bbe1 #bbf ,table1 sett+ !1 #ic1 #id1 #ie1 #ih1 #bbe ,table1 sitt+ at1 #baf ,telephon+1 polit5ess (1 #djd1 #dje1 #djf ,t5nis1 etiquette (1 #bhf1 #bhg ,tipp+1 #ahh1 #bec ,titles1 #ag1 #db ,titles3 husb&'s nev] tak5 by wife1 #af ,travel+3 arrival 9 a /range city1 #bgf1 #bgg1 #bgh ,travel+3 by boat1 #bgh ,travel+3 *ap]ons1 #bgh1 #bgi ,travel+3 funds1 #bgj1 #bga ,travel+3 9 ! d9+-c>1 #bge1 #bgf ,travel+1 mak+ acqua9tance :ile1 #bga1 #bgb ,travel+3 ,pullman c> prep>ations1 #bgb1 #bgc1 #bgd ,travel+1 suitable clo?+ =1 #bgj ,uni=mity ( cu/om1 #dbi ,un9vit$ visitor1 #ab1 #ahc ,use ( fir/ names1 #abg1 #bde ,u%]s1 w$d+1 #gd1 #gi ,u%]s1 dress =1 #hc ,value ( all[ances1 #cif ,visit$1 !1 #aie ,visit$1 !3 conduct t[>d gue/1 #aii1 #bjj1 #bja1 #bjb ,visit$1 !3 decl9e ( hospitality1 #aie1 #aif1 #aig ,visit$1 !3 invit+ a visitor1 #aig1 #aih ,visit$1 !3 prep>+ = visitor1 #aih1 #aii ,visit$1 !3 welcom+ visitor1 #aii ,visitor1 !1 #ahb ,visitor1 !3 accept+ invitations1 #ahc1 #ahd ,visitor1 !3 assi/+ ho/ess1 #ahf ,visitor1 !3 examples ( misbehavior1 #aij1 #aia1 #aib ,visitor1 !3 exp5ses (1 #bjj1 #bja ,visitor1 !3 h\se-p>ties1 #ahg ,visitor1 !3 keep+ engagem5ts1 #ahd ,visitor1 !3 meal "t1 #ahd1 #ahe ,visitor1 !3 promptness ess5tial1 #ahe ,visitor1 !3 prop] mode ( conduct1 #aic1 #aid ,visitor1 !3 ?ank+ ho/ess1 #ahh1 #ahi ,visitor1 !3 tipp+ s]vants1 #ahh ,visitor1 !3 :at to avoid1 #aij ,visitor1 un9vit$1 #ahc ,visitor1 w>drobe (1 #ahb1 #ahg ,voice1 speak+ quality (1 #bcd ,waitress1 #bbb ,w$d+s1 #fi1 #gj1 #gh ,w$d+ anniv]s>ies1 #fb1 #fc ,w$d+ ann\ncem5ts1 #hf1 #hg ,w$d+ app>el1 appropriate1 #gb1 #hb1 #hc ,w$d+ at home1 #fi1 #gj ,w$d+ att5dants1 #gj1 #gi ,w$d+-breakfa/s1 #ga1 #gb1 #ge1 #gf1 #hd1 #he ,w$d+ calls1 #he ,w$d+-c>ds1 #gj ,w$d+ c]emony1 #gd1 #ge1 #hj1 #ha ,w$d+1 *ur*1 #gh ,w$d+ decorations1 #gc1 #gh1 #gi ,w$d+1 ev5+1 #hc ,w$d+ exp5ses1 h[ divid$1 #ga ,w$d+ invitations1 =m (1 #fi1 #gj1 #gh ,w$d+ jokes1 impropriety (1 #gg ,w$d+ music1 #gd ,w$d+ procession1 ord] (1 #gd1 #ge1 #hj ,w$d+ u%]s1 #gd1 #gi ,w$d+s3 8,at ,home0 days1 #hi ,w$d+s3 express+ congratulations1 #ge1 #hc1 #hd ,w$d+s3 days =1 #gj ,w$d+s3 maid ( honor1 #gj ,week-end p>ty1 #ahg ,w9es1 s]v+ (1 #ih ,wom5's clubs1 broad5+ influ5ce (1 #ccg1 #cch1 #cci ,wom5's clubs1 c&idates = memb]%ip 91 #cdc1 #cdd ,wom5's clubs1 discussion 91 #cdb1 #cdc ,wom5's clubs1 =mation (1 #cci1 #cdj ,wom5's clubs1 mak+ ! program (1 #cdj1 #cda1 #cdb ,wom5's clubs3 reception ( new memb]s1 #cdd ,wom5's clubs1 social functions (1 #cde1 #cdf ,wom5's colleges1 #aad1 #aae ,wom5 9 bus9ess1 #chj ,wom5 9 bus9ess3 aft] work+ h\rs1 #che1 #chf ,wom5 9 bus9ess1 broad5$ life (1 #chd1 #che ,wom5 9 bus9ess3 conduct dur+ work+ h\rs1 #chb ,wom5 9 bus9ess1 prop] dress =1 #chc1 #chd ,wom5 9 bus9ess1 social position (1 #cha ,ya*t+1 etiquette (1 #bhg ,ya*t+3 ! gue/1 #bhh ,ya*t+3 ! ho/1 #bhg ,"y wom51 & "y m51 #abe ,"y wom53 call+ on1 #abf ,"y wom51 introductions to1 #ach ,"y wom53 invitations f m51 #abe ,"y wom51 propos+ =1 #aca1 #acb 99 99 99 99 99 ,transcrib]'s ,notes3 ,obvi\s punctuation errors repair$4 ,page #if1 8des]t0 *ang$ to 8dess]t0 7requir$ = ! dess]t7 ,page #aae1 8woman's0 *ang$ to 8wom5's0 7,a wom5's college is7 ,page #bbd1 8insi/0 *ang$ to 8insi/s0 7y\r ho/ insi/s1 h[ev]7 ,page #bfc1 8,fondu0 *ang$ to 8,fondue0 7,fondue--,a prep>ation7 ,page #bfe1 8,piquante1 piquante0 *ang$ to 8,piquant1 piquant0 78,piquant0--,%>ply flavor$1 z 8sauce piquant107 ,page #bff1 8,vel\te0 *ang$ to 8,vel\t0 78,vel\t0--,a smoo?7