,,punch ,,and ,,judy4 ,illustration3 ,,mr4 ,,punch4 ,,from ,,the ,,original ,,by ,,george ,,cruikshank4 ,,the ,,tragical ,,acts1 ,,or ,,comical ,,tragedies ,,of ,,punch ,,and ,,judy1 ,,with ,,twenty-,,three ,,illustrations1 ,,from ,,originals ,,by ,,george ,,cruikshank4 ,,and ,,other ,,plates1 ,,accompanied ,,by ,,the ,,dialogue ,,of ,,the ,,puppet-,,show1 ,,an ,,account ,,of ,,its ,,origin1 ,,and ,,of ,,puppet-,,plays ,,in ,,italy1 ,,england ,,and ,,america1 ,,with ,,instructions ,,concerning ,,the ,,choice1 ,,selection ,,and ,,acting ,,of ,,the ,,puppets4 ,,by ,,prof4 ,w4,j4 ,,judd4 ,illustration ,,new ,,york3 ,,happy ,,hours ,,company1 ,,publishers1 ,,no4 #e ,,beekman ,,street4 ,entered1 according to ,act of ,congress1 in the year #ahgi1 by ,,happy ,,hours ,,company1 in the ,office of the ,librarian of ,congress1 at ,washington1 ,d4 ,c4 ,,list ,,of ,,engravings ,,from ,,originals ,,by ,,george ,,cruikshank4 ,,page4 ,portrait of ,mr4 ,punch ,frontispiece4 ,behind the ,scenes #aj ,punch and his ,dog ,toby #bf ,punch with his ,horse ,hector #bg ,judy ,beats ,punch #cb ,the ,doctor ,physics ,mr4 ,punch #cd ,scaramouch and his ,fiddle #di ,punch and his ,pretty ,polly #ej ,punch and his ,music #eb ,punch teaches ,jack ,ketch how to hang a man #eg ,punch fights ,old ,nick #fj ,punch ,victorious #fa ,,other ,,illustrations ,,not ,,by ,,mr4 ,,george ,,cruikshank4 ,,page4 ,the ,performance of the ,tragedy ,title4 ,the new ,water ,scene1 and the ,sinking ,ship #ag ,side view of a large ,punch and ,judy ,theatre #ag ,the ,spirit of ,fun gives the ,baby back to ,judy #bi ,mrs4 ,barrisnobe and the ,dutchman #ch ,the ,dutchman and ,mary struggle for the bed #dg ,the ,dutchman sees a ,ship #fc ,trial ,scene by the ,black ,judge #fe ,the ,snake swallows ,mr4 ,punch #fi ,the ,ventriloquial ,champions #gb ,the ,royal ,marionettes #gi ,,contents4 ,,page4 ,introduction1 #i ,chapter ,i4--,origin of ,punch in ,italy1 #aa ,,ii4--,origin and ,progress of ,puppet-,plays in ,england1 #ab ,,iii4--,antiquity of ,punch in ,america1 #ad ,,iv4--,on the ,construction of the ,theatre and the ,acting of the ,puppets--on the ,choice and ,selection of ,performing ,figures--on the ,management of the ,punch ,squeaker1 #af ,,the ,,tragical ,,acts1 ,,or ,,comical ,,tragedies ,,of ,,punch ,,and ,,judy4 ,punch and his ,dog ,toby1 #be ,scaramouch with ,punch and his ,horse1 #bh ,punch1 ,judy and the ,baby1 #bi ,punch sees a ,ghost1 #cd ,punch and the ,doctor1 #cd ,punch kills ,scaramouch1 #cf ,the ,irishman tells ,punch a little story1 #cf ,punch and the ,opera ,singer1 #cg ,clown troubles ,mr4 ,punch1 #cg ,the ,persecuted ,dutchman in ,mrs4 ,barrisnobe's ,hotel1 #ch ,schmidt is waited on by ,teddy1 ,pretty ,polly and ,mrs4 ,barrisnobe2 he retires to rest1 but is disturbed all through the night by strange and uninvited visitors--first by ,teddy1 who gives him a clubbing1 followed by a ,clown1 ,irishman1 the ,doctor1 ,adelina1 ,captain ,blowhard1 ,police ,officer1 a ,lawyer1 a ,ghost1 ,mrs4 ,barrisnobe1 with a final struggle betwixt ,mary and the ,dutchman1 who attempts to carry off the bed1 #ci ,scaramouch and his ,fiddle1 #di ,punch and his ,pretty ,polly1 #ej ,servant orders ,punch to ,stop his ,music1 #eb ,punch and the ,blind ,man1 #ed ,punch and the ,constable1 #ee ,punch hangs the ,hangman1 #eg ,joey and ,punch bury ,jack ,ketch1 #ei ,punch ,alarmed at the ,appearance of the ,demon1 #fj ,gradually becoming bolder1 he fights ,his ,majesty1 #fa ,punch ,victorious1 #fa ,the ,sinking ,ship and ,storm at ,sea1 #fb ,the ,black ,judge1 #fe ,punch in his famous #fie1jjj ,box ,act1 #fi ,dialogue for a pair of ,ventriloquial ,champions1 #gc ,a ,young ,lady's ,conversation1 #gg ,price ,list of ,punch and ,judy ,properties1 #gh ,the ,royal ,marionettes1 #gi ,illustration ,,introduction4 ,with the assistance of information that we have gained1 being a practical performer of acknowledged ability1 we are about to fill up a hiatus in theatrical history4 ,it is singular that1 to the present day1 save by one author of a valuable work1 now out of print1 no other attempt has been made to illustrate the origin1 biography and character of a person so distinguished and notorious as ,,mr4 ,,punch4 ,his name and his performances are familiar to all ranks and ages2 yet none have hitherto taken the trouble1 in this country or abroad1 to make any inquiries regarding himself1 his family or connections4 ,the studious ,bayle is recorded to have repeatedly sallied from his retreat1 at the sound of the cracked trumpet1 announcing his arrival in ,rotterdam2 and we ourselves1 who have often hunted our favorite performer from street to street1 saw the late ,mr4 ,windham1 then one of the ,secretaries of ,state1 on his way from ,downing ,street to the ,house of ,commons1 on a night of important debate1 pause like a truant boy until the whole performance was concluded1 to enjoy a hearty laugh at the whimsicalities of the motley hero4 ,but it is needless to particularize4 ,punch has made our youth to laugh1 ,until they scarcely could look out for tears2 while the old have stood by1 delighted with delight of others1 and themselves1 too1 enjoying the ludicrous representation4 ,why the interest has hitherto been limited to the period of representation1 and whether it has not in part arisen from inability to satisfy it1 is not for us to explain4 ,we confine ourselves to an endeavor1 in some degree1 to supply the deficiency4 ,the contrast between the neglect ,mr4 ,punch has experienced1 and the industry employed in collecting particulars relating to other performers of far less reputation1 is remarkable4 ,nevertheless1 it is undeniable that his fame has spread without his stirring over all the kingdoms of the civilized world4 ,to use the wordy periphrasis of ,dr4 ,johnson1 ,let observation1 with extensive view1 ,survey mankind from ,china to ,peru1 if it can1 and it will everywhere behold ,punch dispensing the luxury of a laugh4 ,it is literally true that some years ago he found his way to ,canton2 and that since the ,south ,american ,revolution he has been seen even on the western side of the ,andes4 ,he is1 perhaps1 himself in part to blame for the neglect we have noticed4 ,several of the principal supporters of our theatres1 in our own day1 have given their memoirs to the world1 either by writing them with their own hands1 or by furnishing the materials to others2 and the works of this kind by dead actors1 the forgotten of the stage1 consist of many volumes4 ,whether it has arisen from an absence of that vanity 7may we call it87 which has at times influenced his histrionic rivals1 or from a somewhat haughty reluctance on his part to gratify public curiosity1 we know not4 ,illustration ,,chapter ,i4 ,,origin ,,of ,,punch ,,in ,,italy4 ,mr4 ,punch 7whose original family name was probably ,pulcinella7 first came into existence at ,acerra1 an ancient city at a short distance from ,naples4 ,the date of this event is differently stated by authors who have incidentally mentioned him1 ,riccoboni fixing it before the year #afjj1 and ,gimma and ,signorelli after the commencement of the seventeenth century4 ,the words of ,gimma are very precise1 and as he enters into particulars1 it seems safe to rely upon his authority for this important fact4 ,the performances1 in which the actor was left to his own talents and discretion in furnishing the dialogue1 were once extremely popular throughout ,italy2 but from the very nature of the representation1 it unluckily happens that not a single specimen has been handed down to our time4 ,however1 to pursue this topic would lead us away from the object of our present inquiry4 ,we take it for granted that ,silvio ,fiorillo invented ,pulcinella1 and first introduced him as a variety in the list of buffoons required to represent the impromptu comedies of ,naples3 but1 although he may date his separate existence from about the year #afjj1 it is a matter of much doubt whether he was not1 in fact1 only a branch of a family of far greater antiquity4 ,the discovery1 in the year #agbg1 of a bronze statue of a mime1 called by the ,romans ,maccus1 has indeed led some antiquaries to the conclusion that he was1 in fact1 ,pulcinella under a different name1 but with the same attributes1 and among them a hump-back and a large nose4 ,the dress1 too1 corresponds very much with the motley or parti-colored habit of the clowns of our old dramatic poets4 ,it is true that the different hues have been arranged with greater regularity1 and the patches are of smaller size4 ,the ordinary habiliments of ,punch at the present day1 preserved by ancient usage1 with his pointed fool's-cap1 bear a much nearer resemblance2 and this is one circumstance that evidences the strong family likeness between the ,vice1 ,harlequin and ,pulcinella4 ,riccoboni represents the ancient ,harlequin in a dress composed of patches1 as if his ragged clothes had been often mended1 and ,goldoni speaks of him as originally a poor1 foolish dolt4 ,according to ,quadrio1 in his ,storia d'ogni ,poesia1 the name of our hero has relation to the length of his nose3 he would spell it ,pullicinello from ,pulliceno1 which ,mr4 ,d',israeli translates turkey-cock1 an allusion to the beak of that bird4 ,baretti has it ,pulcinella1 because that word in ,italian means a hen-chicken1 whose cry the voice of ,punch is said to resemble4 ,pollicenello1 as it has also been written1 in its etymology from pollice1 the thumb1 goes upon the mistaken presumption that his size was always diminutive1 like that of our ,english worthy1 of cow-swallowing memory4 ,the ,french ,ponche has been fancifully derived from no less a personage than ,pontius ,pilate of the old ,mysteries1 whom1 in barbarous times1 the ,christians wished to abuse and ridicule4 ,if we cannot settle the disputed point1 it is very evident that1 in future1 ingenuity and learning will be thrown away in attempting further elucidation4 ,,chapter ,,ii4 ,,origin ,,and ,,progress ,,of ,,puppet-,,plays ,,in ,,england4 ,before we proceed farther1 it will be necessary to consider1 briefly1 the antiquity and nature of puppet-plays in the old country4 ,it is the more proper to do so1 because they form a branch of our drama which has never been examined by the historians of our stage with as much interest and industry as the subject deserves4 ,when we mention that no less a man than ,dr4 ,johnson was of opinion that puppets were so capable of representing even the plays of ,shakspeare1 that ,macbeth might be performed by them as well as by living actors1 it will be evident from such a fact only1 that the inquiry is far from unimportant4 ,in connection with this opinion1 and confirmatory of it1 we may add1 that a person of the name of ,henry ,rowe1 shortly before the year #agig1 did actually1 by wooden figures1 for a series of years1 go through the action of the whole of that tragedy1 while he himself repeated the dialogue which belongs to each of the characters4 ,puppet-plays are of very ancient date in ,england2 and1 if they were not contemporary with our ,mysteries1 they probably immediately succeeded them4 ,the formidable rivalship of puppet-plays to the regular drama is established by the fact that the proprietors of the theatres in ,drury ,lane1 and near ,lincoln's ,inn ,fields1 formerly petitioned ,charles ,,ii4 that a puppet-show stationed on the present site of ,cecil ,street in the ,strand1 might not be allowed to exhibit1 or might be removed to a greater distance1 as its attractiveness materially interfered with the prosperity of their concerns4 ,it is not unlikely that burlesque and ridicule were sometimes aimed at the productions of the regular stage by the exhibitors of motions4 ,powell's show was set up in ,covent ,garden1 opposite to ,st4 ,paul's ,church2 and the ,spectator 7,no4 #ad7 contains the letter of the sexton1 who complained that the performances of ,punch thinned the congregation in the church1 and that1 as ,powell exhibited during the time of prayers1 the tolling of the bell was taken1 by all who heard it1 for notice of the intended commencement of the exhibition4 ,the writer of the paper then proceeds1 in another epistle1 to establish that the puppet-show was much superior to the opera of ,rinaldo and ,armida1 represented at the ,haymarket1 and to observe that too much encouragement could not be given to ,mr4 ,powell's skill in motions4 ,a regular parallel is drawn between the two1 which ends most decidedly in favor of ,powell in every respect but the inferior point of the moral4 ,from these sources we collect1 most distinctly1 that the popularity of ,punch was completely established1 and that he triumphed over all his rivals1 materially lessening the receipts at least at the ,opera1 if not at the regular national theatres1 and accomplishing at that period1 by his greater attractiveness1 what ,dennis1 by his ,essay on ,operas after the ,italian manner1 and other critiques de profession1 had been unable to effect4 ,he could hardly have taken such firm possession of the public mind if he had only recently emigrated from his native country4 ,the late ,mr4 ,joseph ,strutt1 in his ,sports and ,pastimes of the ,people of ,england1 thus speaks of the puppet-shows in his time3 ,in my memory these shows consisted of a wretched display of wooden figures1 barbarously formed and decorated1 without the least degree of taste or propriety3 the wires that communicated the motion to them appeared at the top of their heads1 and the manner in which they were made to move evinced the ignorance and inattention of the managers4 ,the dialogues were mere jumbles of absurdities and nonsense1 intermixed with low1 immoral discourses1 passing between ,punch and the fiddler1 for the orchestra rarely admitted of more than one minstrel2 and these flashes of merriment were made offensive to decency by the actions of the puppet4 ,from whatever cause the change may have arisen1 certain it is that at present1 in the ordinary exhibitions of ,punch and ,judy1 the breaches of decorum complained of by ,mr4 ,strutt are rare and slight4 ,we have never seen less than two men concerned in these ambulatory exhibitions3 one to carry the theatre and use ,punch's tin whistle1 and the other to bear the box of puppets and blow the trumpet4 ,during the performance the money is collected from the bystanders1 and far from agreeing with ,mr4 ,strutt that the contributions are very trifling1 we have seen1 for we have taken the pains to ascertain it1 three1 four and five shillings obtained at each repetition2 so that1 supposing only ten performances take place in a summer's day1 the reward to the two men1 on an average1 might be about a sovereign each4 ,on one occasion we remember to have seen three different spectators give sixpence1 besides the pennies elsewhere contributed1 on which the collector went back to the theatre and whispered the exhibitor1 who immediately made ,punch thus address the crowd3 ,ladies and gentlemen1 ,i never yet played for sevenpence halfpenny1 and ,i never will2 so good-morning4 ,he then struck his tent and departed1 pocketing nearly two shillings1 and excusing himself from going through the performance1 under pretence that all the contributions he had received only amounted to sevenpence halfpenny4 ,,chapter ,,iii4 ,,antiquity ,,of ,,punch ,,in ,,america4 ,in the preceding chapters we have spoken of the origin1 progress and high esteem held for ,punch and puppet-plays throughout the countries of ,italy and ,england2 and judging from our own personal experience and actual knowledge1 in still greater favor may ,punch be said to hold for himself amongst the fun-loving ,americans4 ,what children's party is brought to a perfect state of merriment unless with the greetings and comicalities of ,mr4 ,punch8 ,though for a while the tracing of the adventures and travels of ,mr4 ,punch throughout this land is lost1 yet we have before us sufficient to show that his family are of good antiquity1 the ,new ,york ,gazette of ,feb4 #bjth1 #agci1 having the following announcement3 ,to-morrow will be performed1 in ,mr4 ,holt's long room1 the new pantomime entertainment1 in grotesque characters1 called ',the ,adventures of ,harlequin and ,scaramouch2 or1 ,the ,spaniard ,trick'd1' to which will be added an ,optick1 wherein will be represented in perspective several of the most noted cities and remarkable places in ,europe and ,america1 with a new ,prologue and ,epilogue addressed to the town4 ,to begin precisely at six o'clock4 ,tickets to be had at ,mr4 ,holt's1 at five shillings each4 ,ireland's history of the ,new ,york stage preserves the next earliest record of mechanical puppets performed in this country4 ,it refers to the ,new ,york ,gazette of ,august1 #agdg3 ,to be seen at the house of ,mr4 ,hamilton ,hewetson1 at the sign of the ,spread ,eagle1 near ,white ,hall slip1 ,punch's opera1 ',bateman2 or1 ,the ,unhappy ,marriage1' with a fine dialogue between ,punch and his wife1 ,joan1 acted by a set of lively figures4 ,in ,august1 #agdi1 the play of ,whittington and his ,cat was announced to be acted in ,new ,york city by ,punch's company of comedians1 and in the following year the same company1 supposed to be mechanical figures1 were to have performed the ,norfolk ,tragedy2 or1 ,the ,babes in the ,wood1 along with ,entertainments of ,men and ,women4 ,passing on to the time within the memory of the present generation1 we find that ,mr4 ,punch came into special favor about the year #ahff1 as may be gathered from the reports in the ,english newspapers of that time1 ,manvers and others of ,england's best ,punch and ,judy players having left its shores to try their fortunes in ,america's more favored channels4 ,in #ahgd the demand for puppets was so great that it became difficult to meet the wants of the many professors that had decided to become performers4 ,notwithstanding the growing number of actors1 in the fall of #ahgf not one unemployed ,punch and ,judy performer could be found in ,new ,york city4 ,as to the puppet-show of ,punch and ,judy1 it never is looked at by our people but as a mere joke2 and a most effective part of that joke is the ultimate triumph of the hero2 without it the representation would be not only flat and stale1 but unprofitable4 ,we have seen it so1 for we remember a showman on one occasion not merely receiving little or no money1 but getting lamentably pelted with mud1 because1 from some scruple or other1 he refused to allow the victory over the ,devil to ,punch4 ,besides1 it may surely deserve consideration1 whether1 wicked as ,punch unquestionably is1 the ,devil is not the worse offender of the two1 and1 consequently1 the more deserving of punishment4 ,if so1 poetical justice is satisfied4 ,recently an ,american showman has introduced a very famous popular piece as a closing act to the comical tragedies of ,mr4 ,punch1 in which our hero1 after having gained a victory over the demon1 is eventually himself swallowed up by a great snake4 7,see the ,act for ,punch and his great #be1jjj ,box ,trick47 ,,chapter ,,iv4 ,,on ,,the ,,construction ,,of ,,the ,,theatre ,,and ,,the ,,acting ,,of ,,the ,,puppets4 ,having dwelt at some length on the antiquity and high popularity of ,mr4 ,punch1 we will devote the whole of this chapter in explaining to the reader how he may successfully arrange and work the figures1 with a description of the frames or ,punch and ,judy houses in which the performer operates his troupe of puppets4 ,portable frames1 complete1 ready for use1 are advertised by the author in the last pages of this work2 yet the reader1 if a genius1 may save half its cost by constructing for himself the little house4 ,obtain four pieces of pine1 eight feet long1 two inches in diameter2 let them be planed on the four sides2 divide each piece in the centre1 and fix thereon an hinge1 with a bolt on the opposite side2 thus the four eight-feet pillars may be made to fold up to fit into any box or trunk four feet in length4 ,next cut six cross-pieces1 #ca inches long1 for the sides1 two to be used for the centre1 and four for the ends2 next get ready five lengths1 #cf inches long1 to make the cross-pieces for the back and front of the frame1 four to be fitted on the four ends1 the remaining one to form the cross-piece on which you screw a flat piece of wood1 six inches wide1 to form the stage1 which we advise to be fixed up about #ei inches from the ground1 the whole to be clamped firmly together with twenty-two ordinary iron bolts and nuts4 ,if each joint is mortised1 the skeleton structure will have a wonderful degree of strength4 ,to finish1 cut a shelf from a ten-inch board1 full #cf inches long2 mortise two of the corners to fit or catch into the two front pillars2 this you lay on the two centre cross-pieces1 which forms you a snug interior shelf on which you lay all the figures that you use in the performance4 ,a proscenium1 cut out of thick cardboard1 and tastefully decorated or painted1 should be hung in front of the stage4 ,this1 with the calico covering that you wrap around the frame1 completes the structure1 illustrations of which may be seen on our title-page and next succeeding engraving4 ,it is generally known that the writer of this book owns the largest and most complicated ,punch and ,judy theatre in the world1 with its six changes of scenery2 and1 although its plan of construction has been kept secret1 we think that to the readers of this work we ought to convey some idea of its specialties4 ,we therefore not only give a description1 but have caused our artist to make engravings of two of its most important parts of construction4 ,the theatre is near ten feet in height1 over six feet frontage1 and the same distance in its depth to back of stage4 ,below we give a description of the engraving4 ,illustration3 ,j1 ,k is a side view of the little theatre2 ,m forms a front view of an interior water scene1 which is located towards the back of the stage2 the flies1 five in number1 are painted green1 with splashes of white to represent sea-foam2 each fly is attached to two small green cords through the holes at ,n1 ,n2 there are two cross-pieces above1 that traverse from the stage1 front to back2 on these are ten hooks2 the green cords are strung on to these hooks2 the five flies are then swung into motion1 which1 to the audience1 represents a storm at sea4 ,the ship sails along once the whole length2 but on its second or third journey it is wrecked2 the sails ruffle up1 and it gradually sinks beneath the waves4 ,when there are two performers concealed in this theatre1 the ship is made to meet another vessel 7a steamer72 the two to collide2 one is wrecked1 the other sails away safely4 ,these ships are so constructed that they mechanically wreck at the will of the performer4 ,l1 ,l are two of the pillars of the theatre2 ,k is the upper cross-beam1 with four wooden pegs projecting out2 ,j is a grooved board about five inches in diameter1 with holes bored to correspond with the pegs to fit secure on the cross-beam ,k2 ,a1 ,b1 ,c1 ,d and ,e are half-circles1 cut out to receive rollers containing the drop scenery2 ,f1 ,f1 ,f1 ,f1 ,f are grooves cut to receive the wings that are placed in front of the drop scenery2 ,h is the pulley2 ,i shows section of pulley2 ,g shows pulley and cord fitted on to the roller at ,a4 ,the five pulleys should not be more than four inches in diameter4 ,a should be the scene of a prison1 ,b an hotel scene1 ,c the forest1 ,d the ,black ,hills1 and ,e the background4 ,a front drop scene can also be added1 which does not stand located in the engraving4 ,the remaining portion of this theatre is made and bolted together after the plan advised for the smaller frame4 ,the theatre once properly built1 each timber must be legibly marked before taken apart1 so that the performer may speedily rebuild the same when wanted4 ,having thus fully explained how to construct a ,punch's theatre1 we will now proceed to treat on ,,the ,,choice ,,and ,,selection ,,of ,,performing ,,figures1 of which there are two classes--the perfectly made and the imperfect4 ,the latter1 which are chiefly importations from foreign countries1 should be studiously avoided by the performer4 ,they may be distinguished from the properly made puppets by their cramping the hand1 their shortness of dress bringing into special notice the arms of the performer as he attempts to manipulate them above the stage4 ,the desirable genuine-made figures can only be safely secured by ordering them from a dealer or maker that is himself1 also1 a ,punch and ,judy player4 ,a bona fide performer1 of course1 knows just how they ought to be made1 and prides himself on their perfectness1 improvements and advantages over those of the toy importers that deal in the productions of novices1 made for them at the cheapest rates2 hence the reducing of those essential parts of the dress that are of special advantage to the performer4 ,we draw the reader's attention to the address of the dealer whose card will be found in the last pages of this book1 and who will supply you with correctly made figures1 and has every appurtenance and stage-requisite treated on in this work4 ,an operator can give a very fair show with an outfit of eight figures1 to which1 from time to time1 he should add others1 until he has a complete set1 which are to be arranged on the inner shelf in his frame in the following order3 ,under his left hand1 at the end of shelf1 he lays the ,snake ,demon and ,little ,dog2 next to them the ,sheriff1 ,doctor1 ,ghost1 ,negro1 ,negress1 ,judy2 on his right or other end ,punch1 ,scaramouch1 ,dutchman1 ,irishman1 and ,pretty ,polly2 over these he rests ,dog ,toby and ,punch's ,baby in readiness for the opening acts4 ,amongst the figures he should have a bell1 the gallows1 and three clubs1 as sticks for ,mr4 ,punch4 ,the box trick1 coffin1 and other stage properties should lie on the ground near the performer's feet4 ,where there is but one player to work the show1 remember to put a stick in the hole of ,mr4 ,punch's head1 and in several of the others4 ,this greatly assists the performer1 and enables him to catch the figures up much quicker1 and prevents ,mr4 ,punch from dropping down his head1 as if weary4 ,whilst one figure is up to view above the stage1 the operator may quickly adjust another figure by holding its head betwixt his chin and breast1 whilst he plants his hand beneath its dress4 ,the performer should educate himself to playing the acts both single-handed1 and also with the help of an assistant4 ,where convenient for two performers to be inside the frame1 the show1 of course1 can be gotten up on a much more grand and extensive scale4 ,punch is always held in the performer's right hand1 and is always to be the hero in the tragedies1 and the most lively of all the puppets1 and operated by the best man of the two performers4 ,the assistant player puts up a third figure at some window or side corner to poke fun at ,mr4 ,punch1 and also is a useful help by interesting the company at any gap in the performance caused by the leading performer fixing his puppets ready for the successive acts4 ,the players must remember to give to each figure genuine life-like motions1 convey the impressive idea by shaking the head or arms of each figure in turn1 as they converse one with the other4 ,this advice is of special importance1 and should be observed by the players4 ,on no account should ,mr4 ,punch be allowed to remain motionless1 dull or stupid1 with nothing to say or do4 ,he is ever to be the gayest of the gay1 king and conqueror of all before him4 ,once in view above the stage before the company1 whilst waiting for an act to commence or for a figure to come up1 he thumps his club down on the stage1 throws it at the showman outside1 dances1 or sings a verse of a song4 ,after a figure has entered and announced to ,mr4 ,punch that he has a fine horse for ,mr4 ,punch to ride on1 ,punch shows his pleasure by running from end to end of the stage1 to the company appearing to enjoy taking note of every effort that is being made to bring the horse in4 ,hector enters2 the comical results relating thereto are illustrated and described in the dialogue for ,act ,i4 ,,on ,,the ,,management ,,of ,,the ,,squeaker4 ,some writers have raised objections to the use of the instrument called the ,punch and ,judy ,squeaker1 on account of the greater difficulty in articulating the words used by ,mr4 ,punch4 ,from the earliest times within the reach of our memory the familiar squeak of ,mr4 ,punch has always greeted our ear4 ,we therefore say by all means let it so continue4 ,a little practice will soon enable you to articulate the sound of words intelligibly1 and until you are proficient in its use1 the answer of the other figure will convey the meaning4 ,thus1 ,punch1 in his squeaking voice1 asks for the baby4 ,judy answers1 ,oh1 ,mr4 ,punch1 you want the baby1 do you8 ,well1 ,i'm afraid it's asleep1 but ,i'll go and see4 ,let the squeaker be 7a good one7 placed on the centre of the tongue1 held close to the roof of the mouth and the words spoken through it4 ,it will readily rest itself on the tongue when the answering voice is made4 ,the best squeakers are made of silver2 they are fully four times thicker in substance than those that are made of tin or zinc1 hence they cannot so easily be crushed up1 and only require rebinding with tape about once every year4 ,a second squeaker should also be in the performer's vest pocket for instant readiness in case squeaker ,no4 #a should be dropped out of the performer's mouth4 ,having instructed the reader how to build a theatre1 and traced the history1 with the character and deportment1 of ,mr4 ,punch1 we shall now proceed to place his performances upon record4 ,it is time to do so for the benefit of posterity2 lest1 as society gradually acquires a more superfine polish than it even now possesses1 it should be impossible1 hereafter1 to print what is fortunately yet considered innocent and harmless4 ,addison tells us that the merry people of the world are the amiable1 and in the language of a man forbid1 we address ourselves to those1 ,chi amano1 senza smorfia e ipocrisia ,gl'innocenti piaceri e l'allegria4 ,illustration ,,the ,,tragical ,,acts1 ,,or ,,comical ,,tragedies ,,of ,,punch ,,and ,,judy4 ,,preface4 ,portions of the following drama are founded upon the performances of an old ,italian ,punch and ,judy performer of the name of ,piccini1 who has perambulated the towns and country hamlets of ,england for the last forty or fifty years4 ,like the representations of our early stage1 it was not by him distinguished into acts and scenes1 but the divisions were easily made4 ,the writer is a professional player of ,punch and ,judy1 and now gives the public1 in this book1 not only the ,italian ,piccini's earlier introduction1 but the records of his own experience1 with gleanings from that of other first-class players4 ,the whole now assumes a shape in which it may rival most of the theatrical productions of the present era1 whether by ,poole1 popular for his ,paul ,pry1 ,peake for his puns1 ,planche for his poetry1 ,peacock for his parodies or ,payne for his plagiarisms4 ,piccini lived in the classical vicinity of the ,west ,end of ,london1 and up to the time that ourselves left ,england 7in #ahfi7 was still travelling1 considering it no sin to labor in his vocation4 ,he is thus described by a writer in a discontinued periodical called the ,literary ,speculum1 which we quote because it is the only printed notice we have seen of an individual so generally known4 ,it is to be observed that the article to which we are indebted was published many years ago1 and the author of it speaks of his own youth1 when ,piccini's age was as a lusty winter1 frosty but kindly1 and before time1 the old clock-setter1 had nearly let him run the whole length of his chain without winding him up again4 ,he 7,piccini7 was an ,italian2 a little thick-set man1 with a red1 humorous-looking countenance4 ,he had lost one eye1 but the other made up for the absence of its fellow by a shrewdness of expression sufficient for both4 ,he always wore an oil-skin hat and a rough great-coat4 ,at his back he carried a deal box1 containing the dramatis person of his little theatre1 and in his hand the trumpet at whose glad summons hundreds of merry1 laughter-loving faces flocked round him1 with gaping mouths and anxious looks1 all eager to renew their acquaintance with their old friend and favorite1 ,punch4 ,the theatre itself was carried by a tall man1 who seemed a sort of sleeping partner in the concern1 or mere dumb waiter on the other's operations4 ,the woodcut on our title-page precisely corresponds with this lively description1 making some allowance for the difference of age in the master of the puppet-show2 still1 however1 not too old to carry his deal box and to blow an inspiring air4 ,there is one peculiarity about ,piccini's puppets which deserves notice3 they were much better carved1 the features having a more marked and comic expression than those of his rivals4 ,he brought most of them over with him from ,italy1 and he complained that in ,england he had not been able to find any workman capable of adequately supplying the loss if by chance one of his figures had been broken or stolen4 ,why his ,punch was made to squint1 or1 at least1 to have what is known by the epithet of a swivel-eye1 unless for the sake of humor or distinction1 does not appear4 ,besides ,piccini's representation1 we have compared the following pages with1 and corrected them and made additions according to1 the text of our professional performances and the exhibitions of other perambulatory artistes 7as our neighbors term them7 now flourishing4 ,the reader's attention should be specially directed to the acting drama of the ,persecuted ,dutchman1 in ,mrs4 ,barrisnobes ,hotel1 and to ,punch's famous #be1jjj ,box ,trick4 ,illustration ,,the ,,tragical ,,acts1 ,,or ,,comical ,,tragedies ,,of ,,punch ,,and ,,judy4 ,,act ,i4 ,,scene4--,the ,forest4 ,,showman 7outside1 calling out74 ,now1 ,mr4 ,punch1 ,i want you to show yourself4 ,,punch 7within74 ,all right2 let me put my boot on4 ,,showman4 ,your boot on--hurry up4 ,enter ,,punch4 ,after a few preliminary squeaks1 he bows three times to the spectators--once in the centre and once at each side of the stage1 and then vigorously beats the stage with his club4 ,enter ,,scaramouch4 ,,scara4 ,hollo1 ,mr4 ,punch1 what is all this noise about8 ,,punch4 ,who are you8 ,,scara4 ,i want to know what you've done with my dog ,toby4 ,,punch4 ,your dog8 ,,scara4 ,yes4 ,,punch4 ,i know nothing about him4 ,,scara4 ,that won't do1 ,mr4 ,punch4 ,you were seen going round ,gretna ,square with him last night1 and ,i want that dog4 ,,punch4 ,you are a cure4 7beats his stick on the stage47 ,,scara4 ,you call me a cure2 that won't do1 ,mr4 ,punch4 ,,punch 7dancing around74 ,yes1 you are1 you are4 ,,scara4 ,now1 ,mr4 ,punch1 that is too bad for you to call me a cure1 when here ,i am thought handsome1 and am engaged to be married to ,miss ,jennie ,l---- early next week4 ,,punch4 ,i don't believe it4 ,,scara4 ,yes1 yes1 it is true1 and ,bella's to be at the wedding1 too2 but what1 ,mr4 ,punch1 have you done with my dog8 ,,punch4 ,i told you that ,i knew nothing about him4 7he knocks ,,scaramouch down-stairs with a blow of his club47 ,illustration ,enter ,,dog ,,toby4 ,,toby4 ,bow1 wow1 wow6 ,,punch4 ,how do1 my good friend1 your master1 ,mr4 ,toby8 ,how do1 ,mr4 ,scaramouch8 ,,toby4 ,bow1 wow1 wow6 ,,punch4 ,i'm glad to hear it4 ,poor ,toby6 ,what a nice1 good-tempered dog it is6 ,no wonder his master is so fond of him4 ,,toby 7snarls74 ,arr6 ,arr6 ,,punch4 ,what6 ,toby6 you cross this morning8 ,you got out of bed the wrong way upwards8 ,,toby 7snarls again74 ,arr6 ,arr6 ,,punch4 ,poor ,toby6 7putting his hand out cautiously1 and trying to coax the dog1 who snaps at it7 ,toby1 you're one nasty1 cross dog2 get away with you6 7strikes at him47 ,,toby4 ,bow1 wow1 wow6 7seizing ,,punch by the nose47 ,,punch4 ,oh1 dear6 oh1 dear6 ,my nose6 my poor nose1 my beautiful nose6 ,get away6 get away1 you nasty dog--,i tell your master4 ,oh1 dear1 dear6 ,judy6 ,judy6 ,illustration 7,,punch shakes his nose1 but cannot shake off the ,,dog1 who follows him as he retreats around the stage4 ,he continues to call1 ,judy6 ,judy1 my dear6 until the ,,dog quits his hold1 and exit47 ,,punch 7solus1 and rubbing his nose with both hands74 ,oh1 my nose6 my pretty little nose6 ,you nasty1 nasty brute1 ,i will tell your master of you4 ,re-enter ,,scaramouch4 ,,scara4 ,ah1 ah6 ,mr4 ,punch1 you got the worst of it4 ,my dog got hold of your nose4 ,ah1 ah6 7,,punch1 mad at being made fun of1 aims a blow at ,,scaramouch1 but misses2 he1 quickly disappearing1 pops up again1 saying3 ,never mind1 ,mr4 ,punch1 ,i'll fetch up a fine horse for you4 ,,punch commences to dance about in high glee4 ,,scaramouch below stamps his feet1 calling out3 ,wo1 ho1 my ,hector6 this way1 my ,hector4 ,,punch continues his dance1 then attempts to mount his ,,hector by the tail4 ,horse gallops away1 ,,punch in pursuit47 ,re-enter ,,punch1 leading his horse by the bridle over his arm4 ,it prances about1 and seems very unruly4 ,,punch4 ,wo1 ho1 my fine fellow6 ,wo1 ho1 ,hector6 ,stand still1 can't you1 and let me get my foot up to the stirrup4 7,while ,,punch is trying to mount1 the horse runs away round the stage1 and ,,punch sets off after him1 catches him by the tail1 and so stops him4 ,,punch then mounts by sitting on the front of the stage1 and1 with both his hands1 lifting one of his legs over the animal's back4 ,at first it goes pretty steadily1 but soon quickens its pace1 while ,,punch1 who does not keep his seat very well1 cries3 ,wo1 ho1 ,hector6 ,wo1 ho6 but to no purpose1 for the horse sets off at full gallop1 jerking ,,punch at every stride with great violence4 ,,punch lays hold around the neck1 but is ultimately thrown upon the platform47 ,illustration ,illustration ,,act ,,ii4 ,,scene4--,interior of an ,hotel4 ,,punch4 ,judy6 ,judy1 my dear6 ,judy1 my dear1 can't you answer1 my dear8 ,,judy 7within74 ,well1 what do you want1 ,mr4 ,punch8 ,,punch4 ,come up-stairs2 ,i want you4 ,,judy4 ,then want must be your master--,i'm busy4 ,,punch4 ,judy1 my dear6 ,judy1 my love6 ,pretty ,judy1 come up-stairs4 ,enter ,,judy4 ,,judy4 ,well1 here ,i am4 ,what do you want1 now ,i'm come8 ,,punch 7aside74 ,what a pretty creature6 ,an't she a beauty8 ,,judy4 ,what do you want1 ,i say8 ,,punch4 ,a kiss2 a pretty kiss6 7kisses her1 while she hits him a slap on the face47 ,,judy4 ,take that1 then4 ,how do you like my kisses8 ,will you have another8 ,,punch4 ,no2 one at a time1 one at a time1 my sweet pretty wife6 7aside7 ,she always is so playful4 ,where's the child8 ,fetch me the baby1 ,judy1 my dear4 ,,judy4 ,the baby8 ,i'm afraid that she is asleep--,i'll go down and see4 ,exit ,,judy4 ,,punch 7solus74 ,there's a wife for you6 ,what a precious1 darling creature6 ,she go to fetch our baby4 ,re-enter ,,judy with the ,,baby4 ,,judy4 ,here's the child4 ,pretty dear6 ,take the baby4 ,,punch 7holding out his hands74 ,give it me--pretty little thing6 ,how like its sweet mamma6 ,,judy4 ,how awkward you are6 ,,punch4 ,give it me2 ,i know how to nurse it as well as you do4 7she gives it him7 ,get away6 7,exit ,,judy4 ,,punch1 nursing the ,,child in his arms7 ,what a pretty baby it is6 was it sleepy then8 ,hush-a-by1 by1 by4 7sings to the tune of ,rest thee1 ,babe7 ,oh1 rest thee1 my baby1 ,thy daddy is here2 ,thy mammy's a gaby1 ,and that's very clear4 ,oh1 rest thee1 my darling1 ,thy mother will come1 ,with a voice like a starling2-- ,i wish she was dumb6 ,poor1 dear little thing6 it cannot get to sleep4 ,by1 by2 by1 by1 hush-a-by4 ,well1 then1 it shan't4 7dances the ,,child1 and then sets it on his lap1 between his knees1 and sings the common nursery ditty7 ,dancy1 baby1 diddy2 ,what shall daddy do widdy8 ,sit on his lap1 ,give it some pap-- ,dancy1 baby1 diddy4 7,after nursing it upon his lap1 ,,punch sticks the ,,child against the side of the stage1 on the platform1 and going himself to the opposite side1 runs up to it1 clapping his hands and crying1 ,catchee1 catchee1 catchee6 ,he then takes it up again1 and it begins to cry47 ,what is the matter with it8 ,poor thing6 it has got the stomach-ache1 ,i dare say4 7,,child cries7 ,hush-a-by1 hush-a-by6 7sitting down1 and rolling it on his knees7 ,naughty child6 ,judy1 7calling7 the child has got the stomach-ache4 ,judy1 ,i say6 7,,child continues to cry7 ,keep quiet1 can't you8 7hits it a spank7 ,i won't keep such a naughty child4 ,hold your tongue6 7strikes the ,,child',s head several times against the side of the stage7 ,there--there--there6 ,how do you like that8 ,i thought ,i'd stop your squalling4 ,get along with you1 naughty1 crying child6 7throws it over the front of the stage among the spectators7 ,he1 he1 he6 7laughing and singing to the same tune as before7 ,get away1 naughty baby2 ,there it goes over4 ,thy mammy's a gaby1 ,thy daddy's a rover4 ,illustration ,re-enter ,,judy4 ,,judy4 ,where is the baby8 ,,punch4 ,gone--gone to sleep4 ,,judy4 ,what have you done with the child1 ,i say8 ,,punch4 ,gone to sleep1 ,i say4 ,,judy4 ,what have you done with it8 ,,punch4 ,what have ,i done with it8 ,,judy4 ,aye2 done with it6 ,i heard it crying just now4 ,where is it8 ,,punch4 ,how should ,i know8 ,,judy4 ,i heard you make the pretty darling cry4 ,,punch4 ,i dropped it out at window4 ,,judy4 ,oh1 you cruel1 horrid wretch1 to drop the pretty baby out at window4 ,oh1 7cries1 and wipes her eyes7 you barbarous man6 ,oh1 ,i'll make you pay for this1 depend upon it4 ,exit in haste4 ,,punch4 ,there she goes4 ,what a piece of work about nothing6 7dances about and sings1 beating time with his head1 as he turns round1 on the front of the stage47 ,illustration ,re-enter ,,judy with a stick2 she comes in behind1 and hits ,,punch a sounding blow on the back of the head before he is aware4 ,,judy4 ,i'll teach you to drop my child out at window4 ,,punch4 ,so--o--oftly1 ,judy1 so--o--oftly6 7rubbing the back of his head with his hand7 ,don't be a fool now4 ,what you at8 ,,judy4 ,what6 you'll drop my poor baby out at window again1 will you8 7hitting him continually on the head47 ,,punch4 ,no2 ,i never will again4 7she still hits him7 ,softly1 ,i say1 softly4 ,a joke's a joke4 ,,judy4 ,oh1 you cruel brute6 7hitting him again7 ,i'll teach you4 ,,punch4 ,but me no like such teaching4 ,what6 you're in earnest1 are you8 ,,judy4 ,yes1 7hit7 ,i 7hit7 am4 7hit47 ,,punch4 ,i'm glad of it2 me no like such jokes4 7she hits him again7 ,leave off1 ,i say4 ,what6 you won't1 won't you8 ,,judy4 ,no1 ,i won't4 7hits him47 ,,punch4 ,very well1 then1 now come my turn to teach you4 7he snatches at1 and struggles with her for the stick1 which he wrenches from her and strikes her with it on the head1 while she runs about to different parts of the stage to get out of his way7 ,how you like my teaching1 ,judy1 my pretty dear8 7hitting her47 ,,judy4 ,o1 pray1 ,mr4 ,punch--no more6 ,,punch4 ,yes2 one little more lesson4 7hits her again7 ,there1 there1 there6 7she falls down1 with her head over the platform of the stage2 and as he continues to hit at her she puts up her hand to guard her head7 ,any more8 ,,judy4 ,no1 no2 no more4 7lifting up her head47 ,,punch 7knocking down her head74 ,i thought ,i should soon make you quiet4 ,,judy 7again raising her head74 ,no4 ,,punch 7again knocking it down1 and following up his blows until she is lifeless74 ,now1 if you're satisfied1 ,i am4 7perceiving that she does not move7 ,there1 get up1 ,judy1 my dear2 ,i won't hit you any more4 ,none of your shamming4 ,this is only your fun4 ,you got the headache8 ,why1 you only asleep4 ,get up1 ,i say6 ,well1 then1 get down4 7tosses the body down with the end of his stick47 ,,showman 7outside74 ,oh1 ,mr4 ,punch1 what have you done8 ,you will have a ghost after you now4 ,,punch4 ,i don't care4 ,,showman4 ,you don't care8 ,,punch4 ,no2 ,i've seen five ghosts4 ,,showman4 ,five ghosts6 ,what would you say were you to see one now8 ,,punch4 ,i'd knock him down4 ,enter ,,ghost1 which rises at back of the stage1 stealthily advancing to the front4 ,,showman4 ,well1 there is one coming now2 look to your left4 ,,punch 7looking right round the corner of the stage74 ,here8 ,,showman4 ,no2 the other way4 ,,punch 7looks every way but the right direction2 he at last sees the ,,ghost2 he trembles1 saying74 ,oh1 dear6 oh1 dear6 ,i've seen a ghost1 ghost1 ghost6 ,exit ,,ghost4 ,,showman4 ,what is the matter1 ,mr4 ,punch8 ,,punch4 ,i'm sick6 ,i'm sick6 ,i've seen a ghost4 7he lies down on the stage47 ,,showman4 ,well1 call the doctor4 ,,punch4 ,doctor6 ,doctor6 ,illustration ,enter the ,,doctor4 ,,doctor4 ,who is that calling the doctor8 ,,punch4 ,it is me4 ,,doctor4 ,where are you hurt8 ,is it here8 7touching his head47 ,,punch4 ,no2 lower4 ,,doctor4 ,here8 7touching his breast47 ,,punch4 ,no2 lower1 lower6 ,,doctor4 ,here1 then8 7going downwards47 ,,punch4 ,no2 lower still4 ,,doctor4 ,then is your handsome leg broken8 ,,punch4 ,no2 higher4 7,as the ,,doctor leans over ,,punch',s legs to examine them1 ,,punch hits him in the eye47 ,,doctor4 ,oh1 my eye6 my eye6 ,,punch4 ,aye1 you're right enough2 it is my eye1 and ,betty ,martin1 too4 ,,doctor4 ,let me feel your pulse1 ,mr4 ,punch4 ,,punch 7wriggling his body as he lies1 says74 ,oh1 dear6 so sick6 so sick6 ,,doctor 7feeling ,,punch',s pulse74 ,why1 ,mr4 ,punch1 you are all right2 forty-five to the minute4 ,,punch4 ,oh1 no6 ,i'm dead6 ,i'm killed6 ,,doctor4 ,that won't do1 ,mr4 ,punch2 dead men don't talk4 ,,punch 7jumping up with a lively gait74 ,ah6 that is so4 ,,doctor4 ,then1 ,mr4 ,punch1 since you are not dead1 pay me my fee and let me go4 ,,punch4 ,your fee8 ,,doctor4 ,yes1 my fee4 ,,punch4 ,how much8 ,,doctor4 ,five dollars4 ,,punch4 ,five dollars6 ,five dollars6 ,well1 ,i've not got it4 ,,doctor4 ,well1 then1 go down and get it4 ,,punch4 ,ah6 that is so6 ,i'll just go down and bring up the money4 ,exit4 ,re-enter ,,punch1 with a stick4 ,,punch4 ,five dollars8 ,,doctor4 ,yes1 and little enough1 too4 ,,punch 7hitting the ,,doctor on the head74 ,one1 two1 three6 ,,doctor4 ,oh6 golly1 golly1 ,mr4 ,punch1 what are you about8 ,,punch4 ,four1 five1 six dollars--one for good measure4 7,the ,,doctor falls lifeless on left-hand of the stage1 and is left lying to count up in the next act47 ,enter ,,scaramouch4 ,,scara4 ,ah1 ah6 ,mr4 ,punch1 ,i've found you out4 ,that's the way you killed my poor dog1 is it8 ,,punch 7striking him on the head74 ,yes2 just so4 7,,scaramouch falls dead beside the ,,doctor4 ,,punch counts them up1 ,one1 two47 ,enter ,,irishman4 ,,irish4 ,hey day1 ,mr4 ,punch1 ,i'm glad to see you4 7he shakes hands47 ,,punch4 ,ah1 ah6 ,paddy1 you look merry this morning4 ,what brings you this way8 ,,irish4 ,only a little on the spree1 and ,i'm going to tell you a little story4 ,,punch4 ,well1 go ahead4 ,,irish4 ,the other day1 ,mr4 ,punch1 as ,i was going through the forest1 ,i met little ,sammy ,slick4 ,he had in his hand a pretty little likeness of his wife4 ,he kissed it o'er and o'er4 ,just like her1 says he4 ,,punch4 ,just like who8 ,,irish4 ,why1 just like his wife4 ,,punch4 ,ah6 just so4 7he gives a dance1 then listens47 ,,irish4 ,well1 on comes his wife1 and says3 ,did it kiss you back1 my dear8 ,no1 says he4 ,then1 saith his wife1 how can it be like me8 7,,irishman commences to dance1 singing7 ,i'm o'er young to marry yet1 to marry yet1 to---- ,,punch 7hitting him a terrific blow with his stick says74 ,so ,i think--you are o'er young to marry yet4 7he counts the dead bodies up7 ,one1 two and three4 ,enter ,,negress4 ,,negress4 ,oh1 ,mr4 ,punch1 ,i've been looking for you4 ,,punch4 ,well1 my ,julia1 what can ,i do for you8 ,,negress4 ,i want you1 ,mr4 ,punch1 to introduce me to the proprietor of this show4 ,,punch4 ,well1 ,miss ,julia1 ,i'm the proprietor4 ,what do you wish8 ,,negress4 ,what6 ,are you the proprietor8 ,,punch4 ,yes1 ,i am4 ,,negress4 ,mr4 ,punch1 ,i'm an opera singer1 and ,i want to sing to the ladies and gentlemen here assembled4 ,,punch4 ,you an uproar singer8 ,,negress4 ,no1 an opera4 ,,punch4 ,yes2 ,i said an uproar singer4 ,,negress4 ,opera4 ,,punch4 ,yes1 yes1 an uproar4 ,,negress4 ,well1 then1 an uproar1 if you will have it so4 ,,punch4 ,well1 what are you going to sing8 ,,negress4 ,well1 ,i can sing politics1 sentimental1 or on love4 ,,punch4 ,then let's have it on love4 ,,negress 7sings74 ,two lovers wandering in a wood-- ,what can be more delightful8 ,just as they whisper1 ,be my own1 ,should some one overhear them1 ,can mortal be more spiteful8 ,two1 not three1 are company-- ,this proverb pray remember4 ,,punch 7strikes her down with a blow from his stick1 and says74 ,if that is uproar singing1 we will have no more of that4 7he counts the bodies up7 ,one1 two1 three and four4 7,,punch1 suspecting there to be life in some of the bodies1 carries them1 one at a time1 to the right-hand side of the stage4 ,after he has arranged two bodies1 and is going for the third1 a ,,clown walks up from behind and carries back one of the bodies2 he also lies down as if dead4 ,,punch1 missing the body1 seems nonplussed4 ,makes some remark1 then fetches another4 ,the ,,clown1 unperceived by ,,punch1 repeats his fun4 ,,punch is dismayed4 ,returns to the left of the stage and asks the bodies3 ,are you all dead8 and1 whilst ,,punch is looking towards the right1 the ,,clown1 jolting up his head1 says3 ,yes2 all dead4 ,,punch1 touching a body1 says3 ,was that you8 ,he goes down for his club4 ,,clown shifts one to the centre of the stage4 ,,punch1 returning1 belabors it with his club1 says3 ,oh6 it is you1 is it8--hit1 hit--,you will be dead this time1 ,i think4 ,hit1 hit1 and places it on the right of the stage4 ,he now discovers the ,,clown at his antics4 ,,punch makes for him2 stands him up against the left pillar of the stage2 makes thrusts at him with the end of his club1 counting1 ,one1 two1 three--e--e2 but every time the three is pronounced the ,,clown falls flat down1 causing ,,punch to miss his mark4 ,,punch says1 ,i'll fix you now4 ,he spits against the post of the stage1 and rubs the ,,clown against it4 ,he counts1 ,one1 two1 three--e--e4 ,this time pins the ,,clown to the post2 but the moment the end of ,,punch',s club is removed1 the ,,clown darts away1 giving ,,punch a lively knock on the back of the head--makes after to run off with some of the bodies1 and betwixt the ,,clown and ,,punch the stage is soon cleared47 ,,end ,,of ,,part ,,ii4 ,the performer1 when engaged at ,church ,fairs to give his representations before successive audiences1 holds up the negro to make the following announcement3 ,ladies and ,gentlemen3 ,the last act concludes the show4 ,our next performance will take place in the course of fifteen minutes1 during which we shall have the honor of introducing the famous act of ,,the ,,persecuted ,,dutchman1 ,,in ,,mrs4 ,,barrisnobe',s ,,hotel4 ,illustration ,,act ,,iii4 ,enter ,,schmidt1 carrying carpet-bag4 ,,schmidt4 ,i vonder vether ,i can find a place vere ,i can sleep tonight4 ,here is an hotel4 ,i will just ring the bell4 7he sets carpet-bag on stage and rings the bell47 ,,teddy 7pokes his head through the window1 says74 ,i say1 you there1 what are you doing ringing dat bell all this time for8 ,,schmidt4 ,what1 you old black nigger1 come at last8 ,,teddy4 ,how dare you insult8 ,call me no nigger4 ,i'm de colored man from de ,south2 and what do you want1 ,i say8 ,,schmidt4 ,yaw6 ,what you want with yat black face through dat window8 ,come right out here2 ,i vant to talk business4 ,,teddy4 ,who are you calling black8 ,who rang dat bell8 ,,schmidt4 ,i've walked von thirty-five mile this day1 and ,i want von place to sleep down on4 ,,teddy4 ,one place to sleep8 ,,schmidt4 ,yaw4 ,who keeps this hotel8 ,,teddy4 ,my mistress1 sar--,mrs4 ,barrisnobe4 ,,schmidt4 ,then call that old basket up4 ,,teddy4 ,she is neither old nor a basket1 sar4 ,,schmidt4 ,yaw6 ,vell1 basket or no basket1 call the old woman up4 ,,teddy4 ,what might your name be1 sir8 ,,schmidt4 ,i am ,john ,schmidt4 ,,teddy4 ,i thought ,john ,smith was dead4 ,,schmidt4 ,no humbug6 ,i am te original ,john ,schmidt4 ,,teddy4 ,well1 ,mr4 ,smith1 ,i want my parquisites4 7goes to take carpet-bag47 ,,schmidt4 ,you can't steal mine garpet-bags4 ,,teddy4 ,ye's lying--under a mistake4 ,,schmidt4 ,you tell me ,i'm lie1 ,i vill blow your nose off4 7squares himself1 puts down carpet-bag1 ,,teddy takes it up--,,schmidt scuffles with him--,,teddy trips him--he falls on stage with carpet-bag in his arms7 ,oh1 mine bump6 ,if mine vrow have seen you drip up mine heels von top tis floor1 un bang mine bump1 she would give you fury4 ,i will have te constobber to take you mit te bost-office4 7,,teddy helps him up47 ,,teddy4 ,i hope you're not hurt1 sir4 ,you're mistaken2 ,i'm the servant4 7brushes him off7 ,i beg your pardon1 sir4 ,,schmidt 7,l474 ,you begs mine bardon4 ,vell1 ,i don't care4 ,der ish mine hand4 ,i am ,john ,schmidt1 von ter firm of ,schmidt1 ,vondunder1 ,kelt un ,co41 boot un shoes tread finters1 un nunder tinks4 ,,teddy4 ,i'm here1 sir1 waiting yer orders4 ,what'll ye have1 ,mr4 ,john ,smith8 ,,schmidt4 ,i van some lager pier un spretsel--von leetle glass dat ish not as much as tri cent4 ,,teddy4 ,a little glass1 ,mr4 ,smith6 ,you have mouth enough to swallow a hogshead4 ,exit ,,teddy1 ,r4 ,,schmidt4 ,dat ish funny fellow4 ,he drips up mine heels1 un den he pegs mine bardon2 un ven ,i ask him for tri cent glass lager bier1 he say mine mouth is pig as hogshead mouth4 ,ven ,i vash leetle poy1 as no pigger ash dot1 ter gals say tat mine mouth ish burty1 un mine frow say tat mine mouth ish burty1 un by dinks ,i dinks so1 too4 ,enter ,,mrs4 ,,barrisnobe1 with bier1 ,r4 ,,mrs4 ,b4 ,your bier1 sir4 ,,schmidt4 ,vot vilst du haben vor tat8 ,,mrs4 ,b4 ,three cents1 sir4 ,,schmidt4 ,yaw6 ,ter ish five cent--,i will haben two cent change4 ,,mrs4 ,b4 ,very well1 sir2 ,i will send the change4 ,,schmidt4 ,landlady1 have you got von leetle bit onion tat ish notinks1 un tat you will give to me mitout any charges8 ,,mrs4 ,b4 ,well1 that certainly is meanness4 ,i'll see sir1 and send the change4 ,,schmidt4 ,landlady1 ,i have gone to sleepen1 till to-morrow morning4 ,vot you ask for un bed8 ,,mrs4 ,b4 ,four dollars4 ,,schmidt4 ,four dollars6 my ,got un hemmel6 ,why1 ,i gets un bed in ,chatham ,street1 ,new ,york1 for swelve un a half cent4 ,,mrs4 ,b4 ,you will remember1 sir1 you are not in ,new ,york2 and if you obtain a bed here1 four dollars will be the charge4 ,,schmidt4 ,landlady1 ,i don't mean ter bed2 ,i only vant sometinks to lay down mit1 un shut mine eyes open--sometinks dat cost not ash moch ash fifty cent4 ,,mrs4 ,b4 ,there is a room next to my own1 which is not occupied1 you can have for four dollars4 ,i'll send your change immediately4 ,,schmidt4 ,landlady--two cent change4 ,,mrs4 ,b4 ,i remember--two cents4 ,that is the meanest man ,i ever saw4 ,exit1 ,r4 ,,schmidt4 ,four dollar for one ped6 ,tat ish enough to set up von saving bank1 un many saving bank hash got not ash moch as dat4 ,enter ,,pretty ,,polly with onion1 ,r41 she holds it out to him at arm's length4 ,,polly4 ,here is your onion4 ,,schmidt4 ,tat ish nice leetle gal4 ,i have got un boy tat ish un gal--she ish 'pout your age1 if she ish older ash you4 ,,polly4 ,why1 sir1 ,i am not a little girl--,i am nineteen4 ,,schmidt4 ,never mind2 you are nice1 good gal1 un wen ,i goes away ,i will make you un present4 ,,polly4 ,make me a present1 sir8--what8 ,,schmidt4 ,yaw--of a kiss4 ,,polly4 ,thank you1 sir2 we ask double for that4 ,,schmidt4 ,well1 ,i won't take some4 ,goes up4 ,,polly4 ,he's a brute1 and has no taste for luxuries4 ,flounces out4 ,,schmidt 7at table74 ,tat was a burty leetle gal1 un if she hadn't charges so moch1 ,i would make her von present mit a kiss before ,i go4 ,tis onion ish ash strong dat if you but him on top tis table for five minutes1 he jumps all round so moch ash like ter spirit-knockers4 ,enter ,,mrs4 ,,barrisnobe and ,,teddy carrying bedstead1 which they fix in position by adjusting the side posts in the two holes sunk in stage4 ,,mrs4 ,b4 ,now1 ,teddy1 have you fixed it up nice for the gentleman8 ,,teddy4 ,yes1 ma'am4 ,,mrs4 ,b4 ,then you can go4 ,exit4 ,,schmidt4 ,is this my bedroom8 ,,mrs4 ,b4 ,yes1 and you can sleep on that bed for four dollars4 ,,schmidt4 ,that bed8 ,why1 where is the bed8 ,,mrs4 ,b4 7looking over the head-board74 ,lor1 that is so4 ,teddy1 ,teddy6 ,enter ,,teddy4 ,,teddy4 ,yes1 ma'am4 ,,mrs4 ,b4 ,why1 ,teddy1 ,teddy1 you never brought up the feather-bed4 ,,teddy 7with surprise74 ,lor1 sure1 where was my head8 ,exit4 ,,mrs4 ,b4 ,teddy1 have you brought the pillow8 ,,teddy4 ,yes1 ma'am2 all here1 7he throws them into the bedstead1 then laying himself down1 says7 ,ah1 ah6 here1 nice1 soft1 downy bed4 ,,schmidt 7pushing him off74 ,hi1 you black nigger1 get off of my bed6 ,,mrs4 ,b4 ,yes1 sir1 you can sleep on that bed for four dollars4 ,,schmidt4 ,i told you that ,i did not want to buy the bed4 ,,mrs4 ,b4 ,no1 ,i do not want to sell you the bed4 ,i'll let you that bed one night for four dollars4 ,,schmidt4 ,no1 no2 me not vont to buy it1 me vont it only till the morning4 ,,mrs4 ,b4 ,yes1 yes2 ,i let you the bed till morning for four dollars4 ,,schmidt4 ,very well2 me tired1 cannot stay talking1 walked thirty-five miles2 call me in the morning4 7lays himself down on bed47 ,,mrs4 ,b4 ,at six o'clock8 ,,schmidt4 ,yaw4 ,exit ,,mrs4 ,b4 7,,schmidt is troubled with the mosquitoes2 he rises1 shakes the bed1 lies down again1 is just boasting that when the morning comes he'll walk out and forget to pay the four dollars1 when he finds himself disturbed by the black servant47 ,,teddy4 ,i say1 you1 here6 ,,schmidt 7remaining snugly ensconced in bed74 ,well1 well2 what is it you want now8 ,,teddy4 ,mrs4 ,barrisnobe sent me up for that four dollars4 ,,schmidt4 ,what1 didn't ,i pay her8 ,,teddy4 ,no1 you did not4 ,,schmidt4 ,well1 tell the old woman that ,i will give her the money in the morning4 ,,teddy4 ,you will pay me four dollars now4 ,,schmidt4 ,no1 not till the morning4 ,,teddy4 ,i say now4 ,,schmidt4 ,no4 ,,teddy4 ,oh6 no1 is it8 ,i'll soon show you all about paying that money4 7exit1 and returns with a broomstick1 belaboring ,,schmidt all over head and body1 says7 ,pay me that money1 will you8 ,,schmidt 7springing up from the bed1 says74 ,oh1 yaw1 yaw6 ,i'll give you the four dollars2 yaw1 yaw1 me no stand the clubbing4 ,,teddy4 ,thank you1 sar4 ,i'll call you at six in the morning4 ,,schmidt4 ,got away with yaw six and clubbing4 ,exit4 ,enter ,,clown4 ,,clown 7entering1 gazes at the headboard of the bed1 says74 ,confound it6 ,why don't they mark the numbers plain1 so that a fellow can read them8 ,however1 ,i will wake the man up4 7giving him a shake1 says7 ,charley1 ,charley1 wake up4 ,,schmidt 7moving himself on bed restlessly74 ,what is the matter now8 ,,clown4 ,the matter8 ,why1 we are ordered for an early morning rehearsal4 ,get up4 ,,schmidt4 ,i want no hearse2 me not dead yet4 ,go away4 ,,clown4 ,hearse6 ,funerals6 ,no4 ,me and you got to get to the circus and rehearse the double somersault4 ,,schmidt 7sitting bolt upright in bed1 says74 ,i want no summer suit2 my clothes are right here4 ,,clown4 ,oh1 dear1 ,i made a mistake4 ,i thought you was a clown1 and you are an old ,dutchman4 ,get back into your bed4 ,a thousand pardons4 ,exit4 ,,schmidt4 ,confound it6 ,four dollars for a bed6 ,first that old nigger comes and gives me a clubbing1 then that other white-faced monkey comes here and wants to know if ,i want a hearse1 a summer suit1 then says it's a beefsteak4 ,enter an ,,irishman4 ,,pat 7enters1 says74 ,ah1 this must be the bed4 ,you here1 ,mike8 ,mike1 hurry up4 ,,schmidt4 ,hi1 now1 vot is all dis trouble about8 ,,pat4 ,why1 ,mike1 hurry up2 we got to catch the early morning train4 ,we must start1 you know1 for ,boston1 and that right away4 ,now hurry up4 ,,schmidt4 ,i want no train1 no ,boston4 ,i paid four dollars for this bed1 and ,i've had no sleep on it yet4 ,,pat4 ,four dollars for that bed8 ,i don't believe it4 ,but1 ,i say1 do you hear1 hurry up1 no fooling4 ,,schmidt 7rising up74 ,are you going to get out of here8 ,,pat4 ,oh1 dear1 ,i've made a mistake4 ,you are an old ,dutchman1 and ,i after an ,irishman4 ,beg pardon4 ,will leave you for a good night's rest4 ,,schmidt4 ,confound them6 ,another beefsteak6 ,wonder if ,i shall get any sleep before morning6 ,enter the ,,doctor4 ,,doctor 7pushes his head in at the window1 says74 ,i believe this is ,mrs4 ,barrisnobe's hotel4 ,i will enter by the front door4 ,ah1 this must be the bed4 ,come1 young man1 are you fast asleep8 ,,schmidt4 ,me asleep8 ,vot sleep6 ,paid four dollars for that bed1 and have gotten woken up all dis night long4 ,,doctor4 ,a little of the deliriems-tremins1 young man4 ,you are very sick4 ,you must take some physic4 ,i'm the doctor4 ,,schmidt4 ,me vants no doctor1 no physic2 vant to get four dollars worth out of dis bed4 ,,doctor4 ,but ,i'm the doctor4 ,i want five dollars4 ,,schmidt4 ,you get right out of here and ,i'll give you ten dollars in the morning if you will physic that old nigger down-stairs4 ,,doctor 7retreats1 saying74 ,i see ,i made a mistake2 gone to the wrong bed4 ,exit4 ,,schmidt4 ,another beefsteak4 ,i vonder if any more of 'em is coming up4 ,four dollars for dis bed6 ,enter ,,young ,,lady with a long nose4 ,,adelina 7shows herself at the window1 says74 ,i think my ,willie must be here4 ,i will enter4 7she approaches the bed7 ,willie1 ,willie4 ,,schmidt4 ,vot matter now8 ,i no ,willie4 ,,adelina4 ,willie1 what did you run away from me for8 ,,schmidt4 ,oh1 vot a nose6 ,,adelina4 ,my nose1 sir1 is as good as yours1 and more1 for you have none at all4 ,,schmidt4 ,oh1 vot a nose4 7he tries to touch the end of it47 ,,adelina 7gets excited1 says74 ,my nose is handsomer than yours4 ,but1 ,willie1 ,willie1 what did you run away for8 ,,schmidt4 ,vot1 me run away from you8 ,i vood not run away from a little girl so high4 7he measures the height with his two hands47 ,,adelina4 ,you promised to marry me1 then you run away from me in ,philadelphia4 ,,schmidt4 ,vot6 ,me marry you viv that 'ere nose8 ,,adelina 7very passionately74 ,nose or no nose1 ,i'll not marry you at all now4 ,you are one nasty1 bad man2 took me to ,philadelphia1 promised to marry me1 then ran away4 ,bad man1 bad man4 ,i come right here and found you out4 ,exit4 ,enter ,,captain ,,blowhard1 ,l41 with candle1 which is suddenly put out as he enters4 ,,capt4 ,b4 ,i need no light to punish a scoundrel4 7comes up1 and strikes bed with whip--,,schmidt jumps up7 ,so1 sir1 ,i've found you--you rascally kidnapper6 ,,schmidt4 ,you are mistaken4 ,i am somebody else4 ,,capt4 ,b4 ,i know you are ,mr4 ,brown1 and that's sufficient4 ,,schmidt4 ,i am not ,brown1 ,i am te original ,john ,schmidt4 ,,capt4 ,b4 ,brown or ,smith1 did you not decoy ,adelina from her father's arms8 ,,schmidt4 ,nein4 ,,capt4 ,b4 ,did you not run away with my child8 ,,schmidt4 ,nein1 ,i never run away nobody4 ,,capt4 ,b4 ,did you not swindle me of a hundred dollars8 ,,schmidt4 ,nein4 ,,capt4 ,b4 ,are you not a liar8 ,,schmidt4 ,nein4 ,i never lie but in my bed4 ,,capt4 ,b4 ,is not your name ,brown8 ,,schmidt4 ,i dell you ,i am de original ,john ,schmidt4 ,,capt4 ,b4 ,i'll make you confess you are a liar1 a swindler1 a villain1 and that your name is ,brown4 ,,schmidt4 ,mine ,got in ,himmel6 vot a peoples6 ,,capt4 ,b4 ,now1 sir1 7beats him7 are you not a rascal8 ,,schmidt4 ,nein4 7,,captain beats him7 ,yaw6 yaw6 ,,capt4 ,b4 ,are you not a swindler8 7beats him47 ,,schmidt4 ,nein4 ,i am no swindler4 7,,captain beats him47 ,,capt4 ,b4 ,you are not8 7beats him47 ,,schmidt4 ,mine ,got in ,himmel1 yaw1 ,i am a swindler4 ,,capt4 ,b4 ,so much1 so good4 ,,schmidt4 ,so much1 blarney bad4 ,,capt4 ,b4 ,are you not a liar and a villain8 ,,schmidt4 ,nein4 7,,captain beats him7 ,yaw1 yaw1 ,i am a ,dutch villain1 ,john ,schmidt4 ,,capt4 ,b4 ,no1 sir1 your name is ,brown4 ,are you not ,brown8 ,,schmidt4 ,nein4 7,,captain beats him7 ,yaw1 yaw1 ,i am black and blue4 ,,capt4 ,b4 ,i am satisfied for the present1 but ,i shall send another injured party to you4 ,so good-night1 and pleasant dreams1 ,mr4 ,brown4 ,exit4 ,,schmidt 7sitting up in bed1 crying74 ,oh6 oh6 oh6 ,boo6 oo--oo--oo6 ,i shall die1 ,i shall be killed in dis house4 ,oh1 my poor frow6 ,she will never see her husband1 ,john ,schmidt1 not any no more4 ,what will become of me6 ,,teddy 7without1 ,l474 ,i'll find him1 ,captain4 ,,schmidt4 ,te ,old ,harry1 dere is un under one6 ,he sha'n't find ,john ,schmidt4 7jumps out of bed1 finds carpet-bag1 goes up to window7 ,here is von window2 now ,i will jump out4 7carpet-bag drops out of his hand4 ,crash without7 ,dere goes mine carpet-bag2 now ,i will jump out4 7dog barks7 ,now ,i will not jump out4 ,i will go--,i know what ,i will do4 ,i will fool them this time4 7he crawls beneath the bed7 ,i'm right snug here now1 they no find me out4 ,enter ,,policeman4 ,,officer4 ,this is the hotel4 ,i wonder if ,i can find the man that robbed that bank4 ,i'll just search round4 ,nobody in that bed2 wonder if he is hid beneath the mattress4 7pokes at it with his club7 ,sometimes they conceal themselves beneath the bed itself4 ,i'll just look4 7he looks beneath7 ,oh1 here you are1 caught at last4 7beats him out of his concealment with his club7 ,did you not rob the ,manhattan ,bank8 ,,schmidt4 ,no--,i robbed nothing4 ,,officer4 ,did you not run away with the ,squire's daughter8 ,,schmidt4 ,no1 ,i ran off with nothin'4 ,,officer4 ,did you not rob the ,national ,bank8 ,,schmidt4 ,no1 ,i done nothin'4 ,,officer4 ,nothing1 aye4 ,ah1 what do you call nothing8 7he sets to and gives him a vigorous clubbing7 ,you didn't rob the bank--aye1 aye4 ,,schmidt4 ,yaw1 yaw2 hold off1 ,i say4 ,i did rob the bank4 ,yaw1 yaw4 ,,officer 7getting a clearer view of his man1 says74 ,oh1 lor1 you are not the man now1 after all4 ,the man that ,i am after has an ,irish pug nose1 and you are an old ,dutchman4 ,get back into your bed4 ,i made a mistake4 ,,schmidt4 ,yaw1 another beefsteak4 ,vonder when they'll stop coming and let von fellow get von little sleep4 ,enter ,,ghost1 who opens and closes his ghostly teeth44 ,,schmidt4 ,oh1 vot is o'stealing o'er me8 ,i tremble1 ,i shake4 ,oh1 that clubbing6 7he sees the ,,ghost2 he trembles7 ,oh1 oh6 ,four dollars for a bed in a haunted house4 ,exit ,,ghost4 ,enter ,,lawyer4 ,,schmidt4 ,now that horrid ghost is gone1 vill try and get some sleep4 ,,lawyer4 ,mr4 ,timothy ,slobberchops4 ,,schmidt4 ,vot now--von you another ghost8 ,,lawyer4 ,no1 sir1 ,i be no ghost2 ,i'm a lawyer4 ,,schmidt4 ,i vant no lawyer4 ,,lawyer4 ,give me my retainer4 ,,schmidt4 ,retainer8 ,vot do yer call that8 ,,lawyer4 ,money4 ,hand me fifty dollars4 ,,schmidt 7with surprise74 ,vant fifty dollars8 ,vot for8 ,,lawyer4 ,did you not send for me to get a divorce from your wife8 ,,schmidt 7lies down on his bed74 ,diworce from my vife8 ,i got no wife4 ,i want no retainer2 ,i vant four dollars out of this bed4 ,,lawyer4 ,i see they have been fooling me4 ,that man hasn't a cent of money4 ,i'll make tracks4 ,exit4 ,,schmidt#a 7now sits up in bed and sings his little song74 ,ven first ,i leaft dot ,farderland1 ,or set me out to roam1 ,my heart was light and happy ,as could be4 ,but now ,i feel so lonely1 ,ven ,i tink me of my home1 ,of dot little ,ditcher home ,across der sea4 ,vell1 ,i guess dot now ,i'll lay down till the morning4 ,enter ,,mrs4 ,,barrisnobe4 ,,schmidt4 ,veel1 ,i do declare4 ,i've been disturbed all night long with those black and white ghosts4 ,i must get some sleep1 for by and by that old woman will be coming up4 ,illustration ,,mrs4 ,b4 7looking through the window74 ,well ,i never6 ,there is that ,dutchman sleeping now4 ,i'll just go and wake him up4 7she approaches the bed7 ,hi1 sir1 you1 here6 ,,schmidt4 ,vell1 vot is de matter now8 ,,mrs4 ,b4 ,it is seven o'clock1 sir4 ,,schmidt4 ,vell1 ,i paid four dollars for this bed1 and ,i have not had an inch of sleep out of it yet4 ,,mrs4 ,b4 ,well1 ,i only let you the bed for one night for four dollars4 ,,schmidt4 ,vell1 you have let those ghosts and fellows trouble me all night1 and ,i have not had four cents' worth yet4 ,,mrs4 ,b4 ,it is an hour past six1 sir4 ,,schmidt4 ,vell1 what of that8 ,,mrs4 ,b4 ,i want you out of here4 ,,schmidt4 ,not till ,i've had four dollars' worth4 ,,mrs4 ,b4 ,i'll soon teach you what ,i mean4 ,here1 ,mary1 ,mary6 ,come up directly4 ,enter ,,negress4 ,,mary4 ,yes1 ma'am1 ,i'm here4 ,,mrs4 ,b4 ,fetch that man out of bed4 ,,mary4 ,what6 ,he in bed yet8 ,i'll soon make him clear4 7exit1 and re-enters with a broomstick1 belabors the ,,dutchman all over1 says7 ,you get out of this bed1 will you8 ,sharp1 quick6 ,,schmidt 7hustles quickly out of the bed74 ,vot6 ,me pay four dollars for that bed1 and have no sleep on it all dis night8 ,,mrs4 ,b4 ,i let you that bed for one night for four dollars1 and now it is time that you was about your business4 ,,schmidt4 ,vot's that you are saying8 ,,mrs4 ,b4 ,,mary4 7in chorus74 ,you get out of here1 mighty quick4 ,,schmidt4 ,four dollars for a bed6 ,then ,i takes it along with me4 7he lays hold of and removes the bed1 but ,,mary and ,,mrs4 ,b4 force it from him1 and whilst they are depositing it below1 he tugs at the bedstead1 removing it1 says7 ,i'll take this along4 7,,mary and ,,schmidt combat for the possession of it1 to and fro from end to end of the stage4 ,,mary at last succeeds in removing it below4 ,,schmidt1 however1 remains1 singing7 ,four dollars for a sleep1 ,in dis haunted hotel1 ,clubbed and waken'd up1 ,all the long1 long night through4 ,,mary 7returns with a broomstick1 vigorously belabors ,,schmidt1 who is glad to beat a hasty retreat1 saying7 ,i never vill vant to take four dollars' worth at dis hotel when ,i come dis way again4 ,exit4 ,the ,negro here pops his head above the stage1 announces that the next show will take place in the course of fifteen minutes1 with a change of programme4 ,,act ,,iv4 ,illustration3 ,,scaramouch ,,and ,,his ,,fiddle4 ,enter ,,scaramouch4 7,,punch1 alarmed at the appearance of ,,scaramouch1 retreats round the corner of the stage47 ,,scara4 ,mr4 ,punch1 ,mr4 ,punch6 ,,punch 7approaching nearer74 ,mr4 ,scaramouch1 what have you there8 ,,scara4 ,this1 ,mr4 ,punch1 is my fiddle4 ,,punch4 ,call that a fiddle8 ,,scara4 ,yes1 it's a real beauty4 ,,punch4 ,if it's a fiddle1 why don't you play a tune8 ,,scara4 ,that is just what ,i'm going to do4 ,thum1 thum4 ,tum1 tum1 tum4 ,bing1 bing1 bing1 bing4 ,,punch4 ,surely you don't call that a tune8 ,why1 ,i could do better than that4 ,,scara4 7gives ,,punch the fiddle74 ,then let me hear you4 ,,punch4 ,thum4 ,tum4 ,thum4 ,tum4 7he strikes ,,scaramouch blows on the back of the head1 saying7 ,bing1 bing1 bing1 bing4 ,,scara4 ,oh1 dear6 ,oh1 dear6 ,mr4 ,punch1 ,i'll have no more of that4 ,exit ,,scaramouch4 ,illustration ,enter ,,polly1 very gayly dressed4 ,,polly4 ,where is my father8 my dear father6 ,,punch 7aside74 ,what a beauty6 ,,polly4 ,who killed my poor father8 ,oh6 ,oh6 7cries47 ,,punch4 ',twas ,i4 ,,polly4 ,oh6 ,cruel wretch1 why did you kill my father8 ,,punch4 ,for your sake1 my love4 ,,polly4 ,oh1 you barbarian6 ,,punch4 ,don't cry so1 my dear4 ,you will cry your pretty eyes out1 and that would be a pity4 ,,polly4 ,oh1 oh6 ,how could you kill him8 ,,punch4 ,he would not let me have you1 and so ,i killed him4 ,if you take on so1 ,i must cry too--,oh1 oh6 7pretending to weep7 ,how sorry ,i am6 ,,polly4 ,and are you really sorry8 ,,punch4 ,yes1 very sorry--look how ,i cry4 ,,polly 7aside74 ,what a handsome young man4 ,it is a pity he should cry so4 ,how the tears run down his beautiful long nose6 7aloud7 ,did you kill my father out of love of me1 and are you sorry8 ,if you are sorry1 ,i must forgive you4 ,,punch4 ,i could kill myself for love of you1 much more your father4 ,,polly4 ,do you then really love me8 ,,punch4 ,i do6 ,i do6 ,,polly4 ,then ,i must love you6 7,then they embrace1 kiss and dance4 ,the whole scene1 barring the dancing1 seems modelled upon the interview between ,richard ,,iii4 and ,lady ,anne4 ,,punch sings47 ,i love you so1 ,i love you so1 ,i never will leave you2 no1 no1 no3 ,if ,i had all the wives of wise ,king ,sol1 ,i would kill them all for my pretty ,poll4 ,exeunt dancing4 ,enter ,,punch1 with a large sheep-bell1 which he rings violently1 and dances about the stage1 shaking the bell and his head at the same time1 and accompanying the music with his voice2--tune1 ,morgiana in ,ireland4 ,mr4 ,punch is a very gay man1 ,he is the fellow the ladies for winning1 oh2 ,let them do whatever they can1 ,they never can stand his talking and grinning1 oh4 ,enter a ,,servant1 in a foreign livery4 ,,servant4 ,mr4 ,punch1 my master1 he say he no like dat noise4 ,,punch 7with surprise1 and mocking him74 ,your master1 he say he no like that noise6 ,what noise8 ,,servant4 ,dat nasty noise4 ,,punch4 ,do you call music a noise8 ,,servant4 ,my master he no lika de music1 ,mr4 ,punch1 so he'll have no more noise near his house4 ,,punch4 ,he don't1 don't he8 ,very well4 7,,punch runs about the stage1 ringing his bell as loudly as he can47 ,,servant4 ,get away1 ,i say1 wid dat nasty bell4 ,,punch4 ,what bell8 ,,servant4 ,that bell4 7striking it with his hand47 ,,punch4 ,that's a good one4 ,do you call this a bell8 7patting it7 ,it is an organ4 ,,servant4 ,i say it is a bell1 a nasty bell4 ,,punch4 ,i say it is an organ4 7striking him with it7 ,what you say it is now8 ,,servant4 ,an organ1 ,mr4 ,punch4 ,,punch4 ,an organ8 ,i say it is a fiddle4 ,can't you see8 7offers to strike him again47 ,illustration ,,servant4 ,it is a fiddle4 ,,punch4 ,i say it is a drum4 ,,servant4 ,it is a drum1 ,mr4 ,punch4 ,,punch4 ,i say it is a trumpet4 ,,servant4 ,well1 so it is a trumpet4 ,but bell1 organ1 fiddle1 drum or trumpet1 my master1 he say he no lika de music4 ,,punch4 ,then bell1 organ1 fiddle1 drum or trumpet1 ,mr4 ,punch1 he say your master is a fool4 ,,servant4 ,and he say1 too1 he will not have it near his house4 ,,punch4 ,he's a fool1 ,i say1 not to like my sweet music4 ,tell him so3 be off4 7hits him with the bell7 ,get along4 7driving the ,,servant round the stage1 backwards1 and striking him often with the bell7 ,be off1 be off4 7knocking him off the stage4 ,exit ,,servant4 ,,punch continues to ring the bell as loudly as before1 while he sings and dances47 ,re-enter ,,servant1 slyly1 with a stick4 7,,punch perceiving him1 retreats behind the side curtain1 and remains upon the watch4 ,the ,,servant does the same1 but leaves the end of the stick visible4 ,,punch again comes forward1 sets down his bell very gently1 and creeps across the stage1 marking his steps with his hands upon the platform1 to ascertain whereabouts his enemy is4 ,he then returns to his bell1 takes it up1 and1 going quietly over the stage1 hits the ,,servant a heavy blow through the curtain1 and exit1 ringing his bell on the opposite side47 ,,servant4 ,you one nasty1 noisy1 impudent blackguard4 ,me catch you yet4 7hides again as before47 7,enter ,,punch1 and strikes him as before with the bell4 ,the ,,servant pops out1 and aims a blow1 but not quickly enough to hit ,,punch1 who exit47 ,,servant4 ,you scoundrel1 rascal1 vagabond1 blackguard and liar1 you shall pay for this1 depend upon it4 7,he stands back4 ,enter ,,punch1 with his bell1 who1 seeing the ,,servant with his stick1 retreats instantly1 and returns1 also armed with a bludgeon1 which he does not at first show4 ,the ,,servant comes forward1 and strikes ,,punch on the head so hard a blow that it seems to confuse him47 ,,servant4 ,me teach you how to ring your nasty1 noisy bell near de gentil-men's houses4 ,,punch 7recovering74 ,two can play at that4 7hits the ,,servant with his stick4 ,a conflict--after a long struggle1 during which the combatants exchange staves1 and perform various maneuvers1 ,,punch gains the victory1 and knocks his antagonist down on the platform1 by repeated blows on the head47 ,,servant4 ,oh1 dear6 ,oh1 my head6 ,,punch4 ,and oh1 your tail1 too4 7hitting him there7 ,how do you like that1 and that1 and that8 7hitting him each time7 ,do you like that music better than the other8 ,this is my bell1 7hits7 this my organ1 7hits7 this my fiddle1 7hits7 this my drum1 7hits7 and this my trumpet1 7hits7 there6 ,a whole concert for you4 ,,servant4 ,no more6 me dead4 ,,punch4 ,quite dead8 ,,servant4 ,yes1 quite4 ,,punch4 ,then there's the last for luck4 7hits him and kills him4 ,he then takes hold of the body by its legs1 swings it round two or three times1 and throws it away47 ,enter an old ,,blind ,,man1 feeling his way with a staff2 he goes to the opposite side1 when he knocks4 ,,blind ,,man4 ,poor blind man1 ,mr4 ,punch2 ,i hope you'll bestow your charity2 ,i hear that you are very good and kind to the poor1 ,mr4 ,punch2 pray have pity upon me1 and may you never know the loss of your tender eyes6 7listens1 putting his ear to the side1 and hearing nobody coming knocks again7 ,i lost my sight by the sands in ,egypt2 poor blind man4 ,pray1 ,mr4 ,punch1 have compassion upon the poor stone blind4 7coughs1 and spits over the side7 ,only a halfpenny to buy something for my bad cough4 ,only one halfpenny4 7knocks again47 ,enter ,,punch1 and receives one of the knocks1 intended for the door1 upon his head4 ,,punch4 ,hollo6 you old blind blackguard1 can't you see8 ,,blind ,,man4 ,no1 ,mr4 ,punch4 ,pray1 sir1 bestow your charity upon a poor blind man1 with a bad cough4 7coughs47 ,,punch4 ,get along1 get along2 don't trouble me3 nothing for you4 ,,blind ,,man4 ,only a half-penny6 ,oh1 dear6 my cough is so bad6 7coughs and spits in ,,punch',s face47 ,,punch4 ,hollo6 ,was my face the dirtiest place you could find to spit in8 ,get away6 you nasty old blackguard6 ,get away6 7seizes the ,,blind ,,man',s staff1 and knocks him off the stage4 ,,punch hums a tune1 and dances to it2 and then begins to sing1 in the mock ,italian style1 the following words1 pretending to play the fiddle on his arm1 with the stick7 ,when ,i think on you1 my jewel1 ,wonder not my heart is sad2 ,you're so fair1 and yet so cruel1 ,you're enough to drive me mad4 ,on thy lover take some pity1 ,and relieve his bitter smart4 ,think you ,heaven has made you pretty ,but to break your lover's heart8 ,illustration ,,act ,v4 ,,scene4--,the ,prison ,house4 ,enter a ,,constable4 ,,constable4 ,leave off your singing1 ,mr4 ,punch1 for ,i've come to make you sing on the wrong side of your mouth4 ,,punch4 ,why1 who the devil are you8 ,,constable4 ,don't you know me8 ,,punch4 ,no1 and don't want to know you4 ,,constable4 ,oh1 but you must3 ,i am the constable4 ,,punch4 ,and who sent for you8 ,,constable4 ,i am sent for you4 ,,punch4 ,i don't want constable4 ,i can settle my own business without constable1 ,i thank you4 ,i don't want constable4 ,,constable4 ,but the constable wants you4 ,,punch4 ,the dickens he does6 ,what for1 pray8 ,,constable4 ,you killed ,mrs4 ,punch4 ,you knocked her head off her shoulders4 ,,punch4 ,what's that to you8 ,if you stay here much longer1 ,i'll serve you the same4 ,,constable4 ,don't tell me4 ,you have committed murder1 and ,i've a warrant for you4 ,,punch4 ,and ,i've a warrant for you4 7,,punch knocks him down1 and dances and sings about the stage1 to the tune of ,green grow the ,rushes ,o47 ,enter an ,,officer1 in a cocked hat with a cockade1 and a long pigtail4 ,,officer4 ,stop your noise1 my fine fellow4 ,,punch4 ,shan't4 ,,officer4 ,i'm an officer4 ,,punch4 ,very well4 ,did ,i say you were not8 ,,officer4 ,you must go with me4 ,you killed your wife and child4 ,,punch4 ,they were my own1 ,i suppose2 and ,i had a right to do what ,i liked with them4 ,,officer4 ,we shall see that4 ,i'm come to take you up4 ,,punch4 ,and ,i'm come to take you down4 7,,punch knocks him down1 and sings and dances as before47 ,enter ,,jack ,,ketch1 in a fur cap4 ,,punch1 while dancing1 runs up against him without seeing him4 ,,punch 7with some symptoms of alarm74 ,my dear sir1 ,i beg you one thousand pardons3 very sorry4 ,j4 ,,ketch4 ,aye1 you'll be sorry enough before ,i've done with you4 ,don't you know me8 ,,punch4 ,oh1 sir1 ,i know you very well1 and ,i hope you very well1 and ,mrs4 ,ketch very well4 ,j4 ,,ketch4 ,mr4 ,punch1 you're a very bad man4 ,why did you kill ,mrs4 ,punch8 ,,punch4 ,in self-defence4 ,j4 ,,ketch4 ,that won't do4 ,,punch4 ,she wanted to kill me4 ,j4 ,,ketch4 ,how8 ,,punch4 ,with a stick4 ,j4 ,,ketch4 ,that's all gammon4 ,you must come to prison2 my name's ,ketch4 ,,punch4 ,ketch that then4 7,,punch knocks down ,,jack ,,ketch1 and continues to dance and sing47 ,re-enter ,,jack ,,ketch4 ,j4 ,,ketch4 ,mr4 ,punch1 there is your gallows and likewise--7retreats below47 ,,punch4 ,what do you call a likewise8 ,j4 ,,ketch4#b ,there is your coffin4 ,,punch4 ,what that for1 ,i wonder8 ,oh1 dear1 ,i see now3 what one fool ,i was6 ,that is large basket for the fruit be put into4 7he takes up coffin1 runs with it two circles round the stage and slams it down on to ,,ketch',s head1 depositing it with a bang down on to the stage47 ,j4 ,,ketch 7adjusting the rope of the gallows74 ,mr4 ,punch1 step this way and have some dinner6 ,,punch4 ,much obliged ,mr4 ,ketch1 but ,i have already taken dinner4 ,j4 ,,ketch4 ,come1 then1 and have some nice ice-cream4 ,,punch4 ,thank you1 ,mr4 ,ketch1 ,i don't take ice now2 it is too cold4 ,j4 ,,ketch4 ,then come and have a good supper4 ,,punch4 ,i never eat suppers2 they are not wholesome4 ,j4 ,,ketch4 ,then step this way and be hanged4 ,,punch4 ,i'll be hanged if ,i will4 ,j4 ,,ketch4 ,come directly4 ,,punch4 ,i can't2 ,i've got one bone in my leg4 ,illustration ,j4 ,,ketch4 ,and you've got one bone in your neck which must soon be broken2 but no more delay1 ,mr4 ,punch2 put your head through this loop4 ,,punch4 ,through there8 ,what for8 ,j4 ,,ketch4 ,aye1 through there4 7he holds the loop open47 ,,punch4 ,what for8 ,i don't know how4 ,j4 ,,ketch4 ,it is very easy3 only put your head through here4 ,,punch4 ,what1 so8 7poking his head on one side of the noose47 ,j4 ,,ketch4 ,no1 no1 here6 ,,punch4 ,so1 then8 7poking his head on the other side47 ,j4 ,,ketch4 ,not so1 you fool4 ,,punch4 ,mind who you call fool3 try if you can do it yourself4 ,only show me how1 and ,i do it directly4 ,j4 ,,ketch4 ,very well2 ,i will4 ,there1 you stand just there and mind don't you move4 7he places ,,punch against the side-post of the stage7 ,remember that you are not to move4 ,,punch4 ,oh1 no2 ,i'll never move4 ,j4 ,,ketch 7about to put his head through the loop1 noticing a little movement in ,,punch1 says7 ,ah1 you moved4 ,,punch4 ,oh1 no2 ,i never moved4 ,j4 ,,ketch4 ,now1 ,mr4 ,punch1 you see my head1 and you see this loop4 ,put it in so4 7putting his head through the noose47 ,,punch4 ,and pull it tight--so6 7he pulls the rope forcibly down1 and hangs ,,jack ,,ketch7 ,huzza6 ,huzza6 ,j4 ,,ketch 7wriggling his arms and body vigorously about74 ,golly1 golly1 ,mr4 ,punch1 what are you doing8 ,leave go the end of that rope4 ,,punch4 ,not if ,i knows it4 ,i say1 old boy1 how do you feel8 7,,ketch ceases his struggling1 and dies4 ,,punch leaves his body hanging and calls7 ,joey6 ,joey6 ,enter ,,joey4 ,,joey4 ,why1 ,massa ,punch1 ye have been and hung the sheriff4 ,,punch4 ,i know it4 ,he wanted to hang me1 and so ,i hung him4 ,,joey4 ,was that so8 ,well1 what are we to do with him now8 ,,punch4 ,take him down4 ,,joey4 ,that is so1 ,massa ,punch4 ,we will take his dead body down4 7they take him down1 and remove the gallows47 ,,punch4 ,put him in his coffin4 ,,joey4 ,good1 ,mr4 ,punch4 ,but why1 massa1 they have not made the coffin long enough6 ,,punch4 ,double him up4 ,,joey4 ,ah6 that is so4 ,we will double him up4 ,but1 ,massa ,punch1 he'll not go in the coffin now4 ,,punch4 ,well1 ram him down4 7,,punch fetches his club1 and tucks him down and in47 ,,joey4 ,and1 massa1 what will you do with him now8 ,,punch4 ,take him below4 ,lift4 ,,joey4 ,oh1 yes1 massa2 take him below--,i lift 7,,punch lifts his end of the coffin several inches above the stage2 but ,,joey is dancing at the other end47 ,,punch4 ,why don't you lift8 ,,joey4 ,oh1 yes1 massa2 me lift my end up4 7but he still fools at lifting as before1 whilst ,,punch raises his end high up47 ,,punch4 ,i say--are you going to lift8 ,,joey4 ,oh1 yes1 massa2 we'll both lift4 ,,punch4 ,lift1 will you8 7,,punch fetches his club1 and gives ,,joey three cracks on the head2 repeats7 ,lift1 will you8 ,,joey4 ,oh1 yes1 yes1 ,massa ,punch6 me will lift now--right away now4 7they raise the coffin1 and carry it twice from end to end of the stage1 singing7 ,earth to earth1 ashes to ashes1 dust to dust6 ,exeunt1 with coffin4 ,re-enter ,,punch1 who sings3 ,they're out1 they're out6 ,i've done the trick6 ,jack ,ketch is dead--,i'm free2 ,i do not care1 now1 if ,old ,nick ,himself should come for me4 7,goes off1 and returns with a stick4 ,he dances about beating time on the front of the stage1 and singing to the tune of ,green grow the rushes ,o7 ,right foll de riddle loll1 ,i'm the boy to do 'em all4 ,here's a stick ,to thump ,old ,nick1 ,if he1 by chance1 upon me call4 ,enter the ,,demon4 ,he just peeps in at the corner of the stage1 and exit4 ,,punch 7much frightened1 and retreating as far as he can74 ,oh1 dear6 ,oh1 ,lord6 ,talk of the demon1 and he pops up his horns4 ,there the old gentleman is1 sure enough4 7a pause1 and dead silence1 whilst ,,punch continues to gaze at the spot where the ,,demon appeared4 ,the ,,demon comes forward7 ,good1 kind ,mr4 ,demon1 ,i never did you any harm1 but all the good in my power4 ,there--don't come any nearer4 ,how you do1 sir8 7collecting courage7 ,i hope you and all your respectable family well8 ,much obliged for this visit4 ,good-morning6 ,should be sorry to keep you1 for ,i know you have a great deal of business when you come to this city4 7the ,,demon advances7 ,oh1 dear6 ,what will become of me6 7,the ,,demon darts at ,,punch1 who escapes1 and aims a blow at his enemy2 the ,,demon eludes it1 as well as many others1 laying his head on the platform1 and slipping it rapidly backwards and forwards1 so that ,,punch1 instead of striking him1 only repeatedly hits the boards47 ,exit ,,demon4 ,,punch4 ,he1 he1 he6 7laughing7 ,he's off6 ,he knew which side his bread buttered on4 ,he one deep1 cunning devil4 7,,punch is alarmed by hearing a strange1 supernatural1 whirring noise1 something like the rapid motion of fifty spinning wheels1 and again retreats to the corner1 fearfully waiting the event47 ,illustration ,re-enter the ,,demon1 with a stick4 ,he makes up to ,,punch1 who retreats round the back of the stage1 and they stand eyeing one another1 and fencing at opposite sides4 ,at last the ,,demon makes a blow at ,,punch1 which tells on the back of his head4 ,,punch4 ,oh1 my head6 ,what is that for8 ,pray1 ,mr4 ,demon1 let us be friends4 7the ,,demon hits him again1 and ,,punch begins to take it in dudgeon1 and to grow angry7 ,why1 you must be one very stupid demon not to know your best friend when you see him4 7the ,,demon hits him again7 ,be quiet1 ,i say1 you hurt me6 ,well1 if you won't1 we must try which is the best man--,punch or the ,demon4 7,here commences a terrific combat between the ,,demon and ,,punch2 in the beginning1 the latter has much the worst of it1 being hit by his black adversary when and where he pleases4 ,at last the ,,demon seems to grow weary1 and ,,punch succeeds in planting several heavy blows4 ,the balance being restored1 the fight is kept up for some time1 and1 towards the conclusion1 ,,punch has the decided advantage1 and drives his enemy before him4 ,the ,,demon is stunned by repeated blows on the head and horns1 and falls forward on the platform1 where ,,punch completes his victory1 and knocks the breath out of his body4 ,,punch then puts his staff up the ,,demon',s black clothes1 and whirls him round in the air1 exclaiming3 ,huzza6 huzza6 the ,demon's dead67 ,illustration ,,act ,,vi4 ,,the ,,sinking ,,ship4 ,,scene4--,the ,sea1 with waves in motion4 ,enter ,,negro4 ,,negro4 ,ship ahoy6 ,ship ahoy6 ,,dutchman4 ,what was that you were saying8 ,,negro 7points across the sea74 ,don't you see that 'ere8 ,,dutchman4 ,yaw6 ,i see the sea4 ,,negro4 ,yah2 but ,i mean that 'ere--right o'er there4 ,,dutchman4 ,yaw6 so now ,i do2 but1 lor1 ,i've no telescope4 ,what do you think it is8 ,,negro4 ,big ship6 big ship6 ,maybe a man-o'-war4 ,,dutchman4 ,do you think she's a-coming this way8 ,,negro4 ,i do4 ,enter ,,irishman4 ,,irishman4 ,arrah1 my boys1 glad you're here4 ,have you seen a steamship come along8 ,,dutchman4 ,vell1 yes2 von in the distance--right over there4 ,,irishman4 ,arrah1 that is good6 ,my old lady will be pleased now4 ,,dutchman4 ,vy1 ,paddy1 vot great event is on now8 ,,irishman4 ,nothing1 only my wife made me send over to old ,ireland for her mother to come on1 and she hurried me off this morning to look out for the good ship4 ,,dutchman4 ,i congratulate you1 my boy4 ,going to have a mother-in-law to take care of thee4 ,,irishman4 ,arrah1 my friend1 you try to strike me hard2 but1 you bet1 ,i'll make it warm if the old lady don't provide me with a latch-key4 ,,dutchman4 ,never mind for this von leetle bit o' chaff1 ,come with me1 and take a little refreshment4 ,,irishman4 ,but ,i have to wait for the ship4 ,,dutchman4 ,that yon ship vill not be here for von whole hour yet4 ,come1 now2 thou hast time4 ,,irishman4 ,arrah1 well said6 ,but what are those black clouds ,i see8 ,,dutchman4 ,see yon ship taking in her canvas4 ,hurry1 before we are taken in the storm ourselves4 ,exeunt4 ,illustration 7,the waves of the artificial sea are now set in motion4 ,ship enters at the left side1 and slowly sails twice across4 ,on its third sail the ship is met by a ,steamer1 coming in an opposite direction4 ,voices are heard--,hard a-port6 ,where are you coming to8 ,the ,ship and ,steamer collide together2 voices are again heard--,we are sinking6 ,get out the life-boat6 ,the sails of the ,sailing#c,ship become ruffled up1 and the ,ship gradually sinks beneath the waves--the ,steamer passes along uninjured47 ,enter ,,dutchman4 ,,dutchman4 ,yaw1 yaw1 that vessel is now no more4 ,,irishman4 ,arrah1 ,i say1 is that ship come in yet8 ,,dutchman4 ,ship come in6 ,vot1 have you not heard the news8 ,,irishman4 ,news6 ,what news8 ,,dutchman4 ,that ship has sunk--gone to the very bottom4 ,,irishman4 ,what6 ,with all on board8 ,,dutchman4 ,yes2 all are drowned4 ,,irishman4 ,then my wife's mother is gone1 too4 7he puts his hands up to his face and cries47 ,,dutchman4 ,vot6 ,crying because you've lost your mother-in-law8 ,,irishman4 ,no1 friend1 it is not that2 but maybe when ,i tell my ole woman she'll be arter going frantic1 and clubbing my head off4 ,,dutchman4 ,nonsense6 ,i'll come with you1 and gradually break the sad1 sad news4 ,exeunt4 ,illustration ,,the ,,black ,,judge4 ,,scene4--,the ,prison-,house4 ,enter two men who fix the ,,judge',s bench in the hole used for the gallows4 ,,prisoners' pen in the centre2 ,,lawyers' table on the left of stage4 ,exit4 ,,judge enters--takes his stand at the bench4 ,,judge4 ,i have to inform my learned friends that the judge that should have been here1 by the advice of his physician has left this day for ,europe1 and ,i will hold ,court until his return4 ,illustration ,,lawyer4 ,what6 ,a black ,justice to hold ,court8 ,,judge4 ,yes2 ,i sit here to-day4 ,,lawyer4 ,i object to your jurisdiction4 ,,judge4 ,the ,court overrules your objection1 and fines you ten cigars for contempt of ,court4 ,call the docket4 ,is it large8 ,where are the officers8 ,enter ,,court ,,officer4 ,,officer4 ,your ,honor1 there are several cases set down for trial4 ,,judge4 ,call the first that is guilty4 ,,lawyer4 ,michael ,doolittle4 ,,officer4 ,michael ,doolittle4 7goes for him1 and marches him into the pen47 ,,judge4 ,what is the charge8 ,,lawyer4 ,highway robbery4 ,,judge4 ,highway robbery6 ,what is that8 ,,lawyer4 ,stealing from the person--taking the prosecutor's watch--his golden time-keeper4 ,,judge4 ,prisoner1 what have you to say in mitigation of the sentence of the ,court1 pertaining to this heinous1 serious charge8 ,,prisoner4 ,i was guilty1 your ,honor1 but that 'ere man 7points to the prosecutor7 came alone1 and placed himself in my way4 ,,judge4 ,prisoner1 is that your only defence8 ,were you hungry--were you hard up8 ,,prisoner4 ,had not one dime to rub against another4 ,,judge4 ,the decision of this honorable ,court is---- ,,lawyer 7interrupting74 ,your ,honor1 so far from being hungry1 he had on him--his person--a massive silver watch and a diamond ring4 ,,judge4 ,what6 ,prisoners wear diamond rings8 ,,lawyer4 ,just the truth1 your ,honor4 ,,judge4 ,prisoner1 look on the ,court4 ,you1 having pleaded guilty to this most heinous1 serious charge1 the ,court decides that you be taken back to jail1 the diamond ring confiscated for the ,court's own use1 you to deliver up both watches to the prosecutor1 and be by him sentenced to work at hard labor as many days as he may see fit4 ,exit ,,prisoner4 ,,judge4 ,call the next case4 ,,lawyer4 ,the next1 your ,honor1 is an outfall betwixt a butcher and a baker4 ,,judge4 ,a cat-fall between a butcher and a baker6 ,how did that happen8 ,,lawyer4 ,an outfall1 your ,honor--a misunderstanding--a fight4 ,,judge4 ,let them come into ,court4 ,,officer 7calls74 ,herman ,kahlesole and ,william ,paul4 7he brings them in and places in pen47 ,,judge4 ,what is this grave charge all about8 ,,lawyer4 ,nothing grave1 your ,honor4 ,it appears that this butcher1 on leaving his store1 stepped on a piece of fat1 and fell with a quarter of beef4 ,paul1 the baker1 laughed at him4 ,the butcher got angry1 and so they set to punching one another's heads4 ,,judge4 ,what6 ,punch one another's heads after the spill of a quartet of beef8 ,,lawyer4 ,just the history1 ,judge4 ,i am instructed to recommend them to the merciful consideration of the ,court4 ,,judge4 ,kahlesole1 you have heard the charge against you1 and the recommendation of your counsel4 ,are you ready to bury the hatchet8 ,,butcher4 ,vat6 ,mine ax8 ,nein1 nein4 ,,judge4 ,i mean to make peace and shake hands4 ,,butcher4 ,vell1 vell1 ,i will2 but dot goesh against mine constitution4 7they shake hands and depart47 ,,judge4 ,what is the next charge8 ,,lawyer4 ,intoxication4 ,,judge4 ,inoculation6 ,is that anything good to eat8 ,,lawyer4 ,no1 your ,honor2 ,i said intoxication--too much whisky4 ,,judge4 ,oh6 ,i do comprehend4 ,call the wine-barrel in4 ,,officer 7calls74 ,oscar ,hubbs1 this way in4 ,,judge4 ,hubbs1 you were found drunk last night4 ,what have you to say8 ,,hubbs4 ,as long as the fox runs1 he gets catched at last4 ,,judge4 ,does the fox ever have a ten-dollar note8 ,,hubbs4 ,sometimes2 but not now4 ,,judge4 ,you can go this time2 but don't get into this fox-hole again4 ,exit ,,hubbs4 ,,judge4 ,what is the next charge8 ,,lawyer4 ,bigamy4 ,,judge4 ,bigger than me6 ,how--in bad deeds8 ,,lawyer 7chuckling with laughter74 ,no2 bigamy--a man that has married six wives4 ,,judge 7in astonishment74 ,six wives6 ,are any of them in ,court8 ,,lawyer4 ,yes2 there are four here4 ,,judge4 ,so the remaining two have gotten him here to be kept out of the four's way4 ,i condemn the prisoner to be given up to the custody of the four1 and if either is like mine at home1 he will have punishment enough4 ,call the next case4 ,,officer 7calls and shows into pen74 ,timothy ,garpickle4 ,,judge4 ,what is the charge8 ,,lawyer4 ,robbing hen-roosts4 ,,judge4 ,robbing her roasts6 ,roast what8 ,,lawyer4 ,hen-roosts--taking away the eggs and young chickens4 ,,judge4 ,prisoner1 what have you got to say to the charge8 ,,prisoner4 ,guilty4 ,,judge4 ,clear him out2 we'll stand no blarney fooling here4 ,the ,court and learned counsel will take a recess for luncheon4 ,exit ,,lawyer4 7,voices are now heard from without4 ,two men1 with sticks1 enter1 and demand an interview with the ,,judge4 ,the ,,officer attempts to disarm them of their weapons4 ,a lively fight ensues1 during which the stage is cleared of its ,,lawyers' table1 ,,prisoners' pen and ,,judge',s box4 ,the fight continuing1 the ,,judge and ,,court ,,officer at last succeed in causing the two pugilists to beat a hasty retreat47 99 99 99 99 99 ,the above ,drama has been arranged for acting on the ,punch and ,judy stage4 ,for the parlor acting ,drama1 which is on a more extended scale1 send #ae cents to the publisher1 for a copy of the ,dutch ,justice4 ,illustration #d,mr4 ,punch and the ,great #be1jjj ,box ,trick4 ,illustration ,enter ,,foreigner and ,,mr4 ,,punch4 ,,foreigner4 ,mr4 ,punch1 have you heard the news8 ,,punch4 ,news6 ,what news8 ,,foreigner4 ,why1 my boss has received from ,europe a great twenty-five-thousand-dollar box4 ,,punch 7with a gesticulation of surprise1 says74 ,i don't believe it4 ,,foreigner4 ,it is all true1 and he has left me in charge of it4 ,,punch4 ,is that so8 ,well1 what is there inside that box8 ,,foreigner4 ,oh1 ,i don't exactly know2 but lots of funny things1 alive1 ,i think4 ,,punch4 ,well1 suppose you bring it up1 and let's see what it looks like4 ,,foreigner4 ,ah6 so ,i will2 but mind1 you mustn't raise the lid up4 ,,punch4 ,all right2 go ahead--bring it up4 7,,punch commences to dance with delight47 ,,foreigner4 ,yes1 yes1 it shall be brought up1 but you must come down and help me1 it is so heavy4 7,,punch disappears1 following the ,,foreigner47 ,re-enter ,,foreigner and ,,punch1 bearing box4 ,they fix it in position4 ,,foreigner4 ,now mind1 ,mr4 ,punch1 you are not to touch that box4 ,,punch 7dances up and down the stage in high glee2 peeps round1 and looks at front of box1 says74 ,oh1 no2 ,i not touch it4 ,,foreigner4 ,now1 ,mr4 ,punch1 ,i am going away2 but remember1 you are not to touch that box4 ,exit ,,foreigner4 ,,punch4 ,oh1 no2 ,i not touch it4 7he taps1 however1 at side of box1 and darts away1 dancing47 ,,foreigner 7returning74 ,ah6 ,now1 ,mr4 ,punch1 ,i saw you touching that box4 ,,punch4 ,oh1 no6 me no go near it4 ,,foreigner4 ,now remember1 ,mr4 ,punch1 if you go touching or opening that box1 the little dog may wake up and bite4 ,,punch 7continuing his dance to and fro1 says74 ,i not touch box2 you can go away4 7,,foreigner disappears47 7,,punch1 getting curious1 remarks3 ,i'd like to see what is inside that box4 ,attempts to raise the lid1 but is startled by a yell4 ,box flies open1 and the little ,dog pops his head and forepaws out2 tries to get a grip at ,,punch1 which he partially succeeds in4 ,,punch squeals1 and gets away2 cautiously carries on a combat1 ending in the little ,dog being driven down1 the lid of the box closing on him4 ,,mr4 ,,punch1 congratulating himself that there are no more foes1 is startled by hearing a roaring sound1 and1 on attempting to open the lid1 shows alarm at the appearance of his ,,satanic ,,majesty47 ,,demon4 ,mr4 ,punch1 ,i'm from the infernal regions4 ,,punch4 ,well1 what of that8 ,,demon4 ,i've come to take you below with me4 ,,punch4 ,i don't know so much about that4 ,,demon4 ,yes1 ,mr4 ,punch1 your time is up2 you have to come with me4 ,,punch4 ,then we'll fight4 7,,punch and the ,,demon have a very smart combat1 during which the ,,demon nearly succeeds in drawing ,,mr4 ,,punch down the box4 ,,punch squeals1 and wriggles himself away1 afterwards taking care not to approach too near1 to be again grasped by his ,,majesty2 sets to making a vigorous attack1 ending by driving the ,,demon down the box4 ,,punch is now greatly elated over his triumphal battle with the ,,demon2 darts quickly from corner to corner of the stage2 then showing himself at the centre1 approaches the box1 raises up the lid1 looks within1 says3 ,i see there is nothing more in there1 and being all safe1 think that ,i will now take a nap4 ,he lies down on the stage1 his head towards the box4 ,he is soon disturbed by the appearance of a wide-mouthed ,snake1 who tries to gulp him down4 ,,punch1 escaping1 and emboldened with the success over his former foes1 shows fight4 ,snake nips him1 but he again escapes4 ,,punch is much put about by the appearance1 also1 of a huge ,crocodile on the opposite end of the stage4 ,finding the chances of victory going against him1 he calls out for ,,joey1 who1 appearing1 is seized by the ,crocodile4 ,,punch forces him away1 and1 in his excitement1 places him in the way of the wide-mouthed ,snake1 who gulps at him1 and draws him down the box out of sight4 ,snake1 reappearing1 lays hold of ,,mr4 ,,punch1 draws him squealing1 headforemost1 down the box1 the ,crocodile assisting by snapping at ,,mr4 ,,punch',s legs as they are disappearing from view4 ,the ,crocodile plunges round about and over the front of the stage1 but finding nothing more to snap at1 also disappears from view47 ,illustration ,illustration3 ,,the ,,ventriloquial ,,champions ,,copyright ,,dialogue ,,for ,a ,,pair ,,of ,,ventriloquial ,,champions4 ,see ,illustration4 ,,performer4 ,well1 my little boys1 can you talk8 ,,joey4 ,yes2 ,i can talk4 ,,freddy4 ,and ,i can talk1 too4 ,,perf4 ,since you can talk1 will you please tell me your names8 ,,fred4 ,well1 my name is ,freddy4 ,,joey4 ,and call me ,joey4 ,,perf4 ,well1 ,joey1 how do you feel8 ,,joey4 ,well1 ,i don't feel very well4 ,,perf4 ,don't feel very well8 ,,joey4 ,no4 ,,perf4 ,what appears to be the matter with you8 ,,joey4 ,well1 ,i was out in the rain1 and ,i caught cold4 ,,perf4 ,out in the rain and caught cold8 ,,joey4 ,yes4 ,,fred4 ,i say1 ,mr4 ,valentine4 ,,perf4 ,yes1 ,freddy4 ,,fred4 ,what good is the rain8 ,,perf4 ,what good is the rain6 ,,fred4 ,yes4 ,,perf4 ,the rain1 my boy1 has a tendency of bringing everything up from the ground4 ,,joey4 ,well ,i hope it won't bring my old woman up4 ,,perf4 7with surprise74 ,what8 ,your old woman6 ,you don't mean to say you were ever married6 ,,joey4 ,yes1 ,i was1 once4 ,,perf4 ,you are but a little boy4 ,you don't look old enough to have been ever married4 ,,joey4 ,i am older than you think ,i am4 ,,perf4 ,how old a man are you8 ,,joey4 ,i am more than twenty years old4 ,,perf4 ,do you pretend to say that you were born twenty years ago8 ,,joey4 ,i do4 ,,perf4 ,i don't believe it4 ,,joey 7looks in ,,performer',s face74 ,was you there8 ,,perf4 ,no4 ,,joey4 ,well1 ,i was4 ,,perf4 ,then1 if you was there1 you must know all about it4 ,,joey4 ,i do4 ,,perf4 ,you are a pretty good speller1 are you not1 ,joey8 ,,joey4 ,yes1 and ,i can count1 too4 ,,perf4 ,you can count6 ,i'll just try you4 ,what do two and two make8 ,,joey4 ,please to give me a harder one than that4 ,,perf4 ,four and four8 ,,joey4 ,eight4 ,,perf4 ,twice eight8 ,,joey4 ,sixteen4 ,,perf4 ,ten and ten8 ,,joey4 ,twenty4 ,,perf4 ,good1 so far1 ,joey1 but ,i shall catch you soon4 ,,joey4 ,no1 you won't4 ,,perf4 ,well1 we shall see4 ,twice eleven8 ,,joey4 ,twenty4 ,,perf4 ,wrong4 ,ah1 ,joey6 ,i've caught you this time4 ,twice ten was twenty4 ,,joey4 ,and twice eleven is twenty1 too 7two74 ,,perf4 ,right1 ,joey2 you are getting smart4 ,can you spell milk8 ,,joey4 ,you must show me how4 ,,perf4 ,will soon do that4 ,m-i-l-k4 ,,joey4 ,milk4 ,,perf4 ,no2 ,i want you to spell it4 ,,joey4 ,m-i-l-k1 milk4 ,,perf4 ,i will try you on another4 ,spell sugar4 ,,joey4 ,s-e-g-a-r1 segar4 ,,perf4 ,that's wrong4 ,not segar--sugar1 ,i want you to spell4 ,,joey4 ,that was right4 ,s-e-g-a-r1 segar4 ,,perf4 ,no1 no6 ,what does my wife put in my tea in the morning8 ,,joey4 ,ah6 now ,i know4 ,whisky4 ,is that what it spells8 ,,perf4 7waiting a few seconds for the applause to quiet down1 says74 ,smart again1 ,joey4 ,i'll try you yet on another4 ,constantinople4 ,,joey4 ,oh1 ,jerushua6 ,what an hard 'un6 ,,perf4 ,well1 ,joey1 ,i will help you4 ,now1 right after me4 ,con4 ,,joey4 ,con4 ,,perf4 ,stan4 ,,joey4 ,stan4 ,,perf4 ,ti4 ,,joey4 ,ti4 ,,perf4 ,no4 ,,joey4 ,no4 ,,perf4 ,ple4 ,,joey4 ,ple4 ,,perf4 ,constantinople4 ,,joey4 ,constable4 ,,perf4 ,that was wrong4 ,constantinople--not constable4 ,,joey4 ,well1 that isn't the way we spelt it when ,i went to school4 ,,perf4 ,well how did you spell it1 then8 ,,joey4 ,we spelt it in this way3 ,con1 with a stan1 with a t1 with a ti1 with a tipple1 with a tople1 with a ,constantinople4 ,,perf4 ,good1 ,mr4 ,joey6 ,after that we---- ,,fred4 7interrupting74 ,i say1 ,mr4 ,valentine8 ,,perf4 ,yes1 ,freddy4 ,,fred4 ,do you know that ,joe went down-town and knocked down an old woman near sixty years old8 ,,perf4 ,he did6 ,,fred4 ,yes1 he did4 ,,joey4 ,yes1 and ,i would have knocked her down if she had been an hundred and sixty years old4 ,,perf4 7giving ,,joey a box on the ear74 ,now1 you would do no such thing4 ,,joey4 ,yes1 ,i would4 ,,perf4 ,now1 ,joey1 what was your father8 ,,joey4 ,well they say that he was a good man4 ,,perf4 ,i mean1 what trade was he8 ,,joey4 ,my father1 sir1 was a glazier4 ,,perf4 ,a glazier8 ,,joey4 ,yes2 and pray1 ,mr4 ,valentine1 what was your father8 ,,perf4 ,my father1 sir1 was a gentleman4 ,,joey4 ,a gentleman8 ,,perf4 ,yes4 ,,joey4 ,then how was it1 ,mr4 ,valentine1 that he did not make a gentleman of you8 ,,perf4 ,joey1 you are getting a little too personal4 7turns to ,,freddy7 ,now1 ,freddy1 what were you doing over the bridge last night8 ,,fred4 ,i went over to see my girl4 ,,perf4 ,and did you see her8 ,,fred4 ,the old people would not let me into the house4 ,,perf4 ,well1 what did you do8 ,,fred4 ,i stood under a tree4 ,,perf4 ,what happened then8 ,,fred4 ,i got wet all over4 ,,perf4 ,well1 ,i suppose that it rained4 ,,fred4 ,no1 not that4 ,some say that it was perspiration4 ,,perf4 ,and was it that8 ,,fred4 ,no2 ,i guess that it was dish-water4 ,,perf4 ,now1 ,freddy1 supposing that a man were to dig down deep into the earth1 what would he come to8 ,,fred4 ,to dirt4 ,,perf4 ,but supposing that he were to dig down through the earth8 ,,fred4 ,he would come out of the hole4 ,,perf4 ,how is your aunty8 ,,fred4 ,she has the chills and shakes at four o'clock every afternoon4 ,,perf4 ,she has8 ,,fred4 ,yes2 and ,i wish that she would shake out the half-dollar she promised me4 ,,perf4 ,now1 ,joey and ,freddy1 do you see that trunk8 ,,joey4 ,i do4 ,is any one in there8 ,,perf4 ,yes2 a little girl4 ,,fred4 ,oh1 do put me in there6 7,,performer places them in the trunk2 a hushed voice is heard from ,,joey complaining that ,,freddy will not give him any room4 ,as the ,,performer opens the box1 voice is suddenly increased in depth of tone2 he closes it2 the voices are again heard in a subdued tone1 until they quiet themselves4 ,the ,,performer1 making a slight bow1 draws the trunk off the stage47 99 99 99 99 99 ,for full description and prices of the ,ventriloquial ,champions1 see pages #eh and #ei of ,judd's ,illustrated ,catalogue1 mailed by him for #ae cents4 ,on page #gh will be found a ,price ,list of ,punch and ,judy properties sold by him4 ,a ,,young ,,lady',s ,,conversation4 ,enter ,,pretty ,,poll4 ,how do you do8 ,i was just going into the garden when papa said you were here2 and1 of course1 it doesn't do to keep company1 it's so rude4 ,i'm sixteen to-day1 and have just left school1 and everybody says ,i've made such rapid progress as regards my education4 ,do you know they all say ,i've grown so tall lately8 ,well1 ,i wouldn't have any objections to that if it wasn't for one reason1 and that is--,well1 ,i hardly like to tell you the reason1 either2 but ,i have a young man1 and his name's ,julius1 and he's so awfully short himself his head hardly comes above my shoulder2 but then1 you know1 half a loaf's better than no bread1 and a short young man's better than none at all4 ,talking of ,julius1 ,i will tell you something4 ,the other evening we were strolling up-town together1 and ,julius is awfully generous--he'd give me anything4 ,said he to me1 ',adelina1 supposing ,i was to offer you a present1 would you accept one8' ,says ,i1 ',oh1 certainly6' ,accordingly we went into a store together1 and while we were looking at the things1 what should the young man do who stood behind the counter1 but he came all the way round1 took ,julius by the shoulder4 ',there1' says he1 'leave the things alone1 and let your mamma pick what she likes4' ,oh6 ,i was awfully confused1 and poor ,julius1 he didn't know which way to look4 ,but when ,i got my present1 what do you think that was8 ,oh1 such a splendid pair of new shoes6 ,but when ,i got home ,i found the young shopman had made such a foolish mistake--he'd wrapped up eights1 and everybody knows ,i only take twos4 ,illustration ,,price ,,list ,,of ,,punch ,,and ,,judy ,,properties4 ,illustration3 ,,punch ,,and ,,his ,,pretty ,,poll4 ,,punch ,,and ,,judy ,,figures1 ,handsomely dressed1 all characters1 each #a4be4 ,as it is very essential that the figures and all apparatus should be perfect and complete1 ,prof4 ,judd calls attention to the fact that he manufactures and finishes in the most approved style the following ,,best ,,dressed ,,figures1 ,,with ,,solid ,,wooden ,,heads4 ,punch1 #a #be ,judy1 #a #be ,pretty ,poll1 #a #be ,doctor1 #a #be ,policeman1 #a #be ,clown1 #a #be ,jack ,ketch1 #a #be ,scaramouch1 #a #be ,opera ,singer1 #a #be ,darkie1 #a #be ,irishman1 #a #be ,dutchman1 #a #be ,old ,nick1 #a #be ,foreigner1 #a #be ,arabella1 #a #be ,lawyer1 #a #be ,punch's ,dog1 #a #ej ,horse1 #a #ej ,crocodile1 #a #ge ,judge's ,bench1 #a #ge ,prisoner's ,pen1 #a #ge ,bedstead1 #a #ge ,bed and ,pillow1 #ej ,lawyer's ,table1 #ge ,punch's #b #jje1jjj ,box1 #b #jj ,steamer and ,ship1 #b #ej ,ship1 #a #ge ,skeleton ,mouth1 ,movable1 #b #jj ,ghost1 #a #be ,gallows1 #a #jj ,coffin1 #a #jj ,snake1 #a #be ,servant's ,bell1 #ej ,baby1 #ej ,squeakers1 #be;c41 solid sil'r1 #a #jj ,club1 #aj ,superior ,punch and ,judy ,theatres1 made portable for traveling1 fitted with a ,stage1 ,performing ,shelf and ,covering1 ,complete #ab #jj ,goods sent by ,express1 on receipt of ,cash1 or ,c4 ,o4 ,d4 7cash on delivery71 on your enclosing to me one-quarter of the full amount1 the remaining three-quarters to be paid to the ,expressman when he delivers the goods to you4 ,address all orders to ,,professor ,w4 ,j4 ,,judd1 ,,magical ,,repository1 #aca ,,henry ,,st41 - - - - - - - - ,,new ,,york ,,city4 ,,the ,,royal ,,marionettes4 ,illustration3 ,,harlequin4 ,,pantaloon4 ,,doctor4 ,,scaramouch4 ,our ,artist has given us ,illustrations of four of the ,leading ,marionette ,puppets4 ,they are of peculiar construction1 and differ from the ,punch and ,judy ,troupe in that the ,performer is standing over instead of beneath them4 ,they are worked by each having five or more invisible silken cords1 terminating in an instrument held in the hands of the ,performer4 ,their feet1 hands and head go through all the life-like motions of living actors4 ,the smallest are twenty-four inches1 and the largest made are forty-two inches in height4 ,,professor ,,judd of ,new ,york1 who manufactures and has them in stock1 will give you all further information and furnish the particulars concerning their cost4 ,,footnotes3 #a ,the performer takes advantage of the time occupied in singing this song by arranging all in readiness for the grand closing scene of this act4 #b ,at this point1 where the show is wholly or in part paid for by voluntary contributions1 one of the performers1 with a basket1 passes round amongst the audience and takes up the collection4 #c ,this ship is mechanically constructed1 so that at the desired moment it is made to show signs of becoming a wreck4 ,the steamer is in like manner constructed1 with the addition that on its reverse side it represents a sailing vessel only4 ,for this dialogue the steamer may be wrecked in place of the sail ship4 #d ,this famous act never fails in bringing out a round of applause1 and should be used as a closing piece to the popular ,tragedies of ,punch and ,judy4 ,,drawing ,,room ,,magic ,a ,,manual ,,of ,,mystical ,,mysteries1 ,,for ,,the ,,parlor1 ,,school ,,and ,,drawing-,,room1 ,,with ,,numerous ,,illustrative ,,diagrams4 ,if1 as ,,butler insinuates1 ,the pleasure is as great of being cheated as to cheat1 the life of a ,prestidigitator must be a pleasant one2 and to enable any one to realize the fact1 we1 in this volume1 present the key to the ,mystical ,mysteries1 whereby any boy1 of an ingenious turn of mind1 can amuse and astound his friends1 schoolfellows and neighbors4 ,annexed we give a list of a ,,portion ,,of ,,the ,,contents4 ,magic ,plums1 ,self ,balancing1 ,sea of ,ink1 ,chameleon ,trick1 ,vanishing ,seed1 ,arab in the ,air1 ,magic ,candles1 ,rope ,trick1 ,new ,ribbon ,manufactory1 ,changing ,fruit1 ,magic ,telegraph1 ,enchanted ,coin1 ,tricks with ,eggs1 ,mystic ,tea ,caddies1 ,invisible ,courier1 ,japanese ,butterflies1 ,iron ,hand1 ,erratic ,knaves1 ,flying ,knife1 ,etc41 ,etc41 ,etc4 ,price #cj ,cents4 ,,hand ,,book ,,of ,,elocution ,,and ,,oratory4 ,being a ,systematic ,compendium of the necessary ,rules for attaining ,proficiency in ,reading and ,speaking4 ,with copious and interesting examples4 ,this treatise on ,elocution and ,oratory has been prepared with a strict regard to practical utility1 by a favorite tragedienne of the stage4 ,by attention to its rules the learner may rapidly acquire the art of reading aloud with due emphasis1 and of expressing himself in a set speech1 or a recitation1 with propriety4 ,though chiefly designed for social purposes1 it will also prove a safe guide for those who wish to establish a well founded professional reputation1 either as readers1 speakers1 or actors4 ,,contents4 ,,part ,,first4 ,preliminary ,remarks on the ,leading ,principles of ,elocution4 ,,part ,,second4--,reading4 ,family ,reading4 ,public ,reading4 ,table ,oratory4 ,after ,dinner ,speeches4 ,wedding ,breakfast ,speeches4 ,funeral ,orations4 ,verse4 ,,part ,,third4--,elocution4 ,the ,bar4 ,parliamentary4 ,the ,pulpit4 ,the ,lecture ,desk4 ,the ,stage4 ,the ,platform4 ,conclusion4 ,price #cj ,cents4 ,either of the above will be sent by mail1 postpaid1 on receipt of the price4 ,,reciters1 ,,guide ,,books1 ,,etc4 ,actor's ,art1 ,the1 ,price #ae cts4 ,amateur's ,guide1 ,the1 ,price #be cts4 ,arnold's ,dialogues1 ,plays and ,speeches1 ,price #cj cts4 ,arnold's ,dutch ,recitations and ,headings1 ,price #ae cts4 ,art of ,public ,speaking1 ,the1 ,price #be cts4 ,darkey ,plays1 six parts1 ,price1 per part #cj cts4 ,drawing ,room ,magic1 ,price #cj cts4 ,elocution ,without a ,master1 ,price #ae cts4 ,evening ,entertainments1 ,price #ae cts4 ,hand-,book of ,elocution and ,oratory1 ,price #cj cts4 ,holiday ,guest1 ,the1 ,price #aj cts4 ,how to ,join a ,circus1 ,price #be cts4 ,how we ,managed ,our ,private ,theatricals1 ,price #be cts4 ,little ,plays for ,little ,people1 ,price #cj cts4 ,mc,bride's ,comic ,speeches and ,recitations1 ,price #cj cts4 ,mc,bride's ,humorous ,dialogues1 ,price #cj cts4 ,mc,bride's ,temperance ,dialogues1 ,price #cj cts4 ,minstrel ,gags and ,end ,men's ,hand-,book1 ,price #cj cts4 ,parlor ,amusements for the ,young ,folks1 ,price #cj cts4 ,parlor ,tableaux1 ,price #be cts4 ,plays for ,young ,people1 ,price #cj cts4 ,punch and ,judy1 ,price #be cts4 ,shadow ,pantomimes1 ,price #be cts4 ,shakespeare ,proverbs1 ,price #be cts4 ,speechiana1 ,price #cj cts4 ,stump ,speaker1 ,the1 ,price #ae cts4 ,either of the above will be sent by mail1 on receipt of price1 by ,,happy ,,hours ,,company1 ,no4 #e ,beekman ,street1 ,new ,york4 ,transcriber's ,note3 ,every effort has been made to replicate this text as faithfully as possible4 ,some minor corrections of spelling have been made4 ,italic text has been marked with underscores4 ,bold text has been marked with equals signs4