by ,al ,ha9es4 ,,:]e ,,no ,,fe> ,,0 ,a ,,book ,,ab\t ,,fe> ,by ,,ar?ur ,,*ri/oph] ,,b5son #aiad ,,cont5ts ,i4 ,,! ,,%ad[ ,,ii4 ,,%apes ,,( ,,fe> ,,iii4 ,,! ,,d>ke/ ,,d\bt ,,iv4 ,,vuln]ability ,v4 ,,! ,,use ,,( ,,fe> ,,vi4 ,,fe>s ,,( ,,*ildhood ,,vii4 ,,fe>s ,,( ,,boyhood ,,viii4 ,,fe>s ,,( ,,y\? ,,ix4 ,,fe>s ,,( ,,middle ,,age ,x4 ,,fe>s ,,( ,,age ,,xi4 ,,dr4 ,,johnson ,,xii4 ,,t5nyson1 ,,rusk91 ,,c>lyle ,,xiii4 ,,*>lotte ,,bronte ,,xiv4 ,,john ,,/]l+ ,,xv4 ,,in/9ctive ,,fe> ,,xvi4 ,,fe> ,,( ,,life ,,xvii4 ,,simplicity ,,xviii4 ,,affection ,,xix4 ,,s9 ,,xx4 ,,s]5ity ,?us !y w5t on till !y came to ab\t ! middle ( ! ,valley1 & !n ,*ri/iana said1 ',me?9ks ,i see some?+ yond] on ! road be=e u1 a ?+ ( su* a %ape su* z ,i h n se54' ,!n said ,joseph1 ',"m1 :at is x8' ',an ugly ?+1 ,*ild1 an ugly ?+1' said %e4 ',b1 ,"m1 :at is x l8' said he4 '',tis l ,i _c tell :at1' said %e4 ,& n[ x 0 b a little way (f4 ,!n said %e1 ',x is nigh4' ,pilgrim's ,progress1 ,"p ,,ii4 ,:]e ,no ,fe> ,0 ,i ,,! ,,%ad[ ,!re surely may come a "t = ea* ( u1 if we h liv$ ) any animation or int]e/1 if we h _h any con/ant or ev5 fitful desire to p5etrate & grasp ! significance ( ! /range adv5ture ( life1 a "t1 ,i say1 :5 we may look back a little1 n s5tim5tally or ) any hope ( mak+ out an impressive case = ourselves1 & int]rogate ! memory z to :at h be5 ! mo/ real1 vivid1 & int5se ?+s t h befall5 u by ! way4 ,we may try to sep>ate ! mom5t\s f ! trivial1 & ! important f ! unimportant2 to disc]n :]e & h[ & :5 we might h act$ diff]5tly2 to see & to say :at has really matt]$1 :at has made a deep m>k on our _s2 :at has hamp]$ or w\nd$ or maim$ u4 ,because "o ( ! /range/ ?+s ab\t life seems to be our incapacity to decide be=eh&1 or ev5 at ! "t1 :]e ! real & fruitful joys1 & :]e ! d>k dang]s & di/resses lie4 ,! ?+s t at c]ta9 times fill$ all "o's m9d1 k9dl$ hope & aim1 seem$ s inf9itely desirable1 s necess>y to happ9ess1 h fad$1 _m ( !m1 into ! lighte/ & mo/ wor?less ( husks & phantoms1 l ! )]$ fl[]s t we f9d sometimes %ut 9 ! pages ( our old books1 & _c ev5 rememb] ( :at gl[+ & emotional mom5t !y 7 ! record6 ,h[ impossible x is ev] to le>n any?+ by be+ told x6 ,h[ necess>y x is to pay ! full price = any k wor? hav+6 ,! anxi\s fa!r1 ! te>ful "m1 may w>n ! little boy be=e he goes to s*ool ( ! dang]s t await him4 ,he does n und]/&1 he does n att5d1 he is look+ at ! patt]n ( ! c>pet1 & wond]+ = ! hundr$? "t :e!r ! oddly-%ap$ blue ?+ :i* appe>s & reappe>s at int]vals is a bird or a fl[]--yes1 x is c]ta9ly meant = a bird p]*$ on a b\gh6 ,he wi%es ! talk 7 ov]1 he looks at ! little sc> on 8 fa!r's h&1 & rememb]s t he has be5 told t he cut x 9 a cucumb]-frame :5 he 0 a boy4 ,& !n1 long aft]w>ds p]haps1 :5 he has made a mi/ake & is suff]+ = x1 he sees t x 0 ,,t ( :i* !y spoke1 & wond]s t !y c\ld n h expla9$ x bett]4 ,& ?is is s all along6 ,we _c recognise ! d>k t[]1 to :i* 9 ! /ory ,*ilde ,rol& came1 by any description4 ,we mu/ g !re ourselves2 & n till we feel ! tee? ( ! trap bit+ into u1 d we see t x 0 exactly 9 su* a place t we _h be5 w>n$ t x w\ld be laid4 ,!re is an episode 9 t /range & beautiful book ,phanta/es1 by ,george ,macdonald1 :i* comes (t5 to my m9d4 ,! boy is w&]+ 9 ! en*ant$ =e/1 & he is told to avoid ! h\se :]e ! ,daught] ( ! ,ogre lives4 ,8 morose "y guide %[s him :]e ! pa?s divide1 & he takes ! "o indicat$ to him ) a s5se ( misgiv+4 ,a little :ile be=e he _h be5 deceiv$ by ! ,ald]-maid51 & _h giv5 h] 8 love 9 error4 ,?is has tak5 "s ( ! old joy out ( 8 he>t1 b he has made 8 escape f h]1 & ?9ks he has le>n$ 8 lesson4 ,b he comes at la/ to ! long l[ h\se 9 ! cle>+2 he f9ds )9 x an anci5t woman read+ out ( an old volume2 he ent]s1 he exam9es ! room 9 :i* %e sits1 & yield+ to curiosity1 he op5s ! door ( ! great cupbo>d 9 ! corn]1 9 spite ( a mutt]$ w>n+4 ,he ?9ks1 on fir/ op5+ x1 t x is j a d>k cupbo>d2 b he sees ) a %ock ( surprise t he is look+ into a long d>k passage1 :i* leads out1 f> away f :]e he /&s1 into ! />lit night4 ,!n a figure1 :i* seems to h be5 runn+ f a long di/ance1 turns ! corn]1 & comes spe$+ d[n t[>ds him4 ,he has n "t to close ! door1 b /&s aside to let x pass2 x passes1 & slips beh9d him2 & soon he sees t x is a %ad[ ( himself1 :i* has fall5 on ! floor at 8 feet4 ,he asks :at has happ5$1 & !n ! old woman says t he has f\nd 8 %ad[1 a ?+ :i* happ5s to _m p2 & !n = ! fir/ "t %e raises h] head & looks at him1 & he sees t h] m\? is full ( long :ite tee?2 he kn[s :]e he is at la/1 & /umbles out1 ) ! d>k %ad[ at 8 heels1 :i* is to haunt him s mis]ably = _m a sad day4 ,t is a v f9e & true similitude ( :at befalls _m m5 & wom54 ,!y g a/ray1 !y give up "s preci\s ?+--_! innoc5ce p]haps--to a delud+ temptation4 ,!y are deliv]$ = a "t2 & !n a little :ile aft] !y f9d _! %ad[1 :i* no te>s or angui% ( regret c take away1 till ! heal+ ( life & "w & purpose annuls x4 ,nei!r is x always annull$1 ev5 9 l5g? ( days4 ,b x is a paltry & +lori\s mi/ake to let ! %ad[ h its di%e>t5+ w ( u4 ,x is only a %ad[1 aft] all6 ,& if we capitulate aft] our fir/ disa/r\s enc\nt]1 x does n mean t we %all be = ev] vanqui%$1 ?\gh x means p]haps a long & dre>y wa/e ( %ame-/a9$ days4 ,t is :at we mu/ try to avoid--any ,,wa/e ( "t & /r5g?4 ,= if any?+ is c]ta91 x is t we h all to fight until we conqu]1 & ! soon] we take up ! dropp$ sword aga9 ! bett]4 ,& we h also to le>n t no "o c help u except ourselves4 ,o!r p c sympa?ise & console1 try to soo! our injur$ vanity1 try to p]suade u t ! dang]s & disa/]s ahead are n s dreadful z !y appe> to be1 & t ! mi/akes we h made are n irrep>able4 ,b no "o c remove dang] or regret f u1 or relieve u ( ! necessity ( fac+ our own tr\bles2 ! mo/ t !y c d1 inde$1 is to enc\rage u to try aga94 ,b we _c hope to *ange ! conditions ( life2 & "o ( its conditions is1 z ,i h said1 t we _c =esee dang]s4 ,no matt] h[ vividly !y are describ$ to u1 no matt] h[ eag]ly ^? :o love u try to w>n u ( p]il1 we _c escape4 ,= t is ! ess5ce ( life--exp]i5ce2 & ?\gh we _c rejoice :5 we are 9 ! grip ( x1 & :5 we _c see :at ! end w be1 we c at lea/ say to ourselves aga9 & aga91 ?is is at all ev5ts reality--?is is bus9ess6 = x is ! mom5ts ( endurance & en]gy & action :i* aft] all ju/ify u 9 liv+1 & n ! pleasant spaces :]e we saunt] among fl[]s & sunlit woods4 ,^? are conc$$ to u1 to tempt u to live1 to make u desire to rema9 9 ! _w2 & we ne$ n be afraid to take !m1 to use !m1 to enjoy !m2 because all ?+s alike help to make u :at we are4 ,,ii ,,%apes ,,( ,,fe> ,n[ z ,i look back a little1 ,i see t "s ( my wor/ exp]i5ces h n hurt or injur$ me at all4 ,i d n claim m ?an my %>e ( tr\bles1 b ,i h _h tr\ble en\gh = "o1 z ,br[n+ says1--b]eavem5ts1 disappo9tm5ts1 ! illness ( ^? ,i h lov$1 illness ( my own1 qu>rels1 misund]/&+s1 enmities1 ang]s1 disapprovals1 losses2 ,i h made bad mi/akes1 ,i h fail$ 9 my duty1 ,i h done _m ?+s t ,i regret1 ,i h be5 unreasonable1 unk9d1 selfi%4 ,_m ( ^! ?+s h hurt & w\nd$ me1 h br\ght me into sorr[1 & ev5 into despair4 ,b ,i d n feel t any ( !m h really injur$ me1 & "s ( !m h already b5efit$ me4 ,i h le>n$ to be a little m pati5t & dilig5t1 & ,i h discov]$ t !re are c]ta9 ?+s t ,i mu/ at all co/s avoid4 ,b !re is "o ?+ :i* seems to me to h always & inv>iably hamp]$ & maim$ me1 :5ev] ,i h yield$ to x1 & ,i h (t5 yield$ to x2 & t is ,fe>4 ,x c be call$ by _m names1 & all ( !m ugly names--anxiety1 timidity1 moral c[>dice4 ,i c nev] trace ! smalle/ good 9 hav+ giv5 way to x4 ,x has be5 f my e>lie/ days ! ,%ad[2 & ,i ?9k x is ! %ad[ 9 ! lives ( _m m5 & wom54 ,i want 9 ?is book to track x1 if ,i c1 to its lair1 to see :at x is1 :]e its awful p[] lies1 & :at1 if any?+1 "o c d to resi/ x4 ,x seems ! mo/ unreal ?+ 9 ! _w1 :5 "o is on ! o!r side ( x2 & yet face to face ) x1 x has a /r5g?1 a poignancy1 a p>alys+ p[]1 :i* makes x seem l a p]sonal & specific ill-w1 issu+ 9 a sort ( dreadful en*antm5t or spell1 :i* r5d]s x impossible to )/&4 ,yet1 /range to say1 x has n ex]cis$ its p[] 9 ! few occasions 9 my life :5 x w\ld seem to h be5 really ju/ifi$4 ,let me quote an in/ance or two :i* w illu/rate :at ,i mean4 ,i 0 confront$ once ) ! necessity ( a small surgical op]ation1 q unexpect$ly4 ,if ,i _h kn[n be=eh& t x 0 to be done1 ,i %\ld h depict$ e incid5t ) horror & mis]y4 ,b ! mom5t arriv$1 & ,i f\nd myself m>*+ to my b$room ) a surgeon & a nurse1 ) a s5se almo/ ( amusem5t at ! adv5ture4 ,i 0 call$ ^u once 9 ,switz]l& to assi/ ) two guides 9 ! rescue ( an un=tunate woman :o _h fall5 f a precipice1 & _h to be br\ght d[n1 dead or alive4 ,we hurri$ up ?r\gh ! p9e-=e/ ) a *air1 & f\nd ! poor creature alive inde$1 b ) horrible injuries--an eye knock$ out1 an arm & a ?igh brok51 h] ul/] torn to ribbons1 & ) m blood ab\t ! place 9 pools ?an ,i %\ld h ?\ght a human body c\ld conta94 ,%e 0 consci\s2 %e _h to be lift$ into ! *air1 & we _h to discov] :]e %e belong$2 %e fa9t$ away 9 ! middle ( x1 & ,i _h to g on & break ! news to h] relations4 ,if ,i _h be5 told be=eh& :at w\ld h _h to be done1 ,i d n ?9k ,i c\ld h fac$ x2 b x 0 !re to d1 & ,i f\nd myself entirely capable ( tak+ "p1 & ev5 ( wond]+ all ! "t t x 0 possible to act4 ,aga91 ,i 0 once engulf$ 9 a crevasse1 hang+ f ! ice-l$ge ) a port5t\s gulf bel[1 & a glaci]-/ream ro>+ 9 ! d>kness4 ,i c\ld get no hold = foot or h&1 my companions c\ld n rea* me or extract me2 & z ,i sank into unconsci\sness1 he>+ my own expir+ brea?1 ,i knew t ,i 0 doom$2 b ,i c only say1 q hone/ly & humbly1 t ,i _h no fe> at all1 & only dimly wond]$ :at arrangem5ts w\ld be made at ,eton1 :]e ,i 0 !n a ma/]1 to accommodate ! boys ( my h\se & my pupils4 ,x 0 n done by an ef=t1 nor did ,i brace myself to ! situation3 fe> simply did n come ne> to me4 ,once aga9 ,i f\nd myself confront$1 n s long ago1 ) an incr$ibly pa9ful & di/ress+ int]view4 ,t inde$ did oppress me ) almo/ intol]able dread be=eh&4 ,i 0 to g to a c]ta9 h\se 9 ,london1 & !re 0 j a *ance t ! int]view might n take place aft] all4 ,z ,i drove !re1 ,i sudd5ly f\nd myself wond]+ :e!r ! int]view c\ld ,,really be go+ to take place--h[ (t5 _h ,i rehe>s$ x be=eh& ) angui%--& !n z sudd5ly became aw>e t ,i %\ld 9 "s /range way be disappo9t$ if x did n take place4 ,i want$ on ! :ole to g ?r\gh ) x1 & to see :at x w\ld be l4 ,a deep-seat$ curiosity came to my aid4 ,x did take place1 & x 0 v bad--worse ?an ,i c\ld h imag9$2 b x 0 n t]rible6 ,^! are j f\r in/ances :i* come into my m9d4 ,i %\ld be glad to feel t ! c\rage :i* und\bt$ly came _h be5 ! creation ( my w2 b x 0 n s4 ,9 ?ree cases1 ! ev5ts came unexpect$ly2 b 9 ! f\r? case ,i _h long anticipat$ ! mom5t ) extreme dread4 ,yet 9 t la/ case ! fe> sudd5ly slipp$ away1 )\t ! smalle/ ef=t on my "p2 & 9 all f\r cases "s /range gu/o ( exp]i5ce1 "s s5se ( height5$ life & adv5ture1 rose 9 ! m9d l a f\nta9--s t ev5 9 ! crevasse ,i said to myself1 n excit$ly b s]5ely1 ,s ?is is :at x feels l to await dea?6 ,x 0 ?is p>ticul> exp]i5ce :i* gave me an inkl+ into t :i* 9 s _m tragic hi/ories seems incr$ible--t m5 (t5 d pass to dea?1 by scaffold & by /ake1 at ! la/ mom5t1 9 s]5ity & ev5 9 joy4 ,i d n d\bt = a mom5t t x is ! immortal pr9ciple 9 man1 ! s5se ( dea?lessness1 :i* comes to 8 aid4 ,x is ! in/9ct :i*1 9 spite ( all k & exp]i5ce1 says sudd5ly1 9 a mom5t l t1 ,well1 :at !n8 ,t in/9ct is a f> tru] ?+ ?an any expectation or imag9ation4 ,x sees ?+s1 9 supreme mom5ts1 9 a true proportion4 ,x ass]ts t :5 ! rope j]ks1 or ! flames leap up1 or ! b5umb+ bl[ falls1 !re is some?+ !re :i* _c possibly be injur$1 & :i* inde$ is r fre$ f ! body ( our humiliation4 ,x is b an incid5t1 aft] all1 9 a mu* long] & m mom5t\s voyage4 ,x means only ! clos+ ( "o *apt] ( exp]i5ce & ! beg9n+ ( ano!r4 ,! base elem5t 9 x is ! fe> :i* dreads ! op5+ ( ! door1 & ! quitt+ ( :at is famili>4 ,& ,i feel assur$ ( ?is1 t ! "o univ]sal & inevitable exp]i5ce1 kn[n to u z dea?1 mu/ 9 reality be a v simple & ev5 a natural affair1 & t :5 we c look back ^u x1 x w seem to u amaz+ t we c ev] h reg>d$ x z s mom5t\s & appall+ a ?+4 ,,iii ,,! ,,d>ke/ ,,d\bt ,n[ we c make no real advance 9 ! ?+s ( ! _s until we h se5 :at lies on ! o!r side ( fe>2 fe> _c help u to gr[1 at be/ x c only tea* u to be prud5t2 x does n ( itself de/roy ! desire to (f5d--only %ame c d t2 if our wi% to be diff]5t comes m]ely f our be+ afraid to transgress1 !n1 if ! fe> ( puni%m5t 7 to be remov$1 we %\ld g back ) a light he>t to our old s9s4 ,we may obey irresponsible p[]1 because we "k t x c hurt u if we disobey2 b unless we c p]ceive ! reason :y ?is & t is =bidd51 we _c concur ) law4 ,we le>n z *ildr5 t flame has p[] to hurt u1 b we only dread ! fire because x c injure u1 n because we admire ! reason :i* x has = burn+4 ,s long z we d n s9 simply because we "k ! laws ( life :i* puni% s91 we h n le>n$ any hatr$ ( s92 x is only because we hate ! puni%m5t m ?an we love ! s91 t we ab/a94 ,socrates once said1 9 "o ( 8 wise p>adoxes1 t x 0 bett] to s9 kn[+ly ?an ignorantly4 ,t is a h>d say+1 b x means t at lea/ if we s9 kn[+ly1 !re is "s purpose1 "s c\rage 9 ! s\l4 ,we take a risk ) our eyes op51 & our purpose may p]haps be *ang$2 :]eas if we s9 ignorantly1 we d s out ( a m]e base in/9ct1 & !re is no purpose t may be educat$4 ,anyone :o has ev] _h ! task ( tea*+ boys or "y m5 to write w "k h[ mu* easi] x is to tea* ^? :o write volubly & exub]antly1 & desire to express !mselves1 ev5 if !y d x ) _m faults & lapses ( ta/e2 ta/e & me?od may be correct$1 if only ! in/9ct ( expression is !re4 ,b ! "y man :o has no impulse to write1 :o says t he c\ld ?9k ( no?+ to say1 x is impossible to tea* him mu*1 because "o _c communicate ! desire = expression4 ,& ! same holds good ( life4 ,^? :o h /rong vital impulses c le>n re/ra9t & *oice2 b ! p :o h no p>ticul> impulses & pref]5ces1 :o j live out ( m]e impetus & habit1 :o plod along1 do+ 9 a dispirit$ way j :at !y f9d to d1 & laps+ into indol5ce & indiff]5ce ! mom5t t prescrib$ "w ceases1 ^? are ! spirits t af=d ! real problem1 because !y despise activity1 & ?9k en]gy a m]e exhibition ( fussy diffus5ess4 ,b ! g5]\s1 eag]1 wilful nature1 :o has always "s aim 9 sight1 :o makes mi/akes p]haps1 gives (f5ce1 collides high-he>t$ly ) o!rs1 makes bo? fri5ds & enemies1 loves & hates1 is anxi\s1 jeal\s1 self-absorb$1 res5tful1 intol]ant--!re is always hope = su* an "o1 = he is quick to despair1 capable ( %ame1 swift to rep5t1 & ev5 :5 he is wor/$ & w\nd$1 rises to fight aga94 ,su* a nature1 ?r\gh pa9 & love1 c le>n to *a/5 8 base desires1 & to *oose ! nobl] & wor?i] way4 ,b :at does really diff]5tiate m5 & wom5 is n _! p[] ( fe>+ & suff]+1 b _! p[] ( c>+ & admir+4 ,! only real & vital =ce 9 ! _w is ! =ce :i* attracts1 ! beauty :i* is s desirable t "o mu/ imitate x if "o c1 ! wisdom :i* is s calm & s]5e t "o mu/ possess x if "o may4 ,& ?us all dep5ds ^u our disc]n+ 9 ! _w a lov+ int5tion ( "s k9d1 :i* holds u 9 view1 & draws u to itself4 ,if we m]ely ?9k ( ,god & nature z an inflexible sy/em ( laws1 & t our only *ance ( happ9ess is to slip 9 & out ( !m1 z a man might pick 8 way among r$-hot pl\gh%>es1 ?ankful if he c escape burn+1 !n we c make no sort ( advance1 because we c h nei!r fai? nor tru/4 ,! ?+ f :i* "o m]ely flees c h no real p[] ov] our _s2 b if we "k ,god z a fa!rly ,he>t beh9d nature1 :o is lead+ u on our way1 !n inde$ we c walk joyfully 9 happ9ess1 & undismay$ 9 tr\ble2 because tr\bles !n become only ! we>isome incid5ts ( ! upw>d asc5t1 ! fatigue1 ! fail+ brea?1 ! /ra9$ muscles1 ! discom=t :i* is actually tak+ u high]1 & _c by any means be avoid$4 ,b fe> is ! opposite ( all ?is2 x is ! dread ( ! unkn[n1 ! gha/ly d\bt z to :e!r !re is any goal be=e u or n2 :5 we fe>1 we are l ! butt]fly t flutt]s anxi\sly away f ! boy :o pursues x1 :o means out ( m]e wantonness to /rike x d[n tatt]$ & bruis$ among ! grass-/ems4 ,,iv ,,vuln]ability ,!re h be5 _m attempts 9 ! hi/ory ( mank9d to escape f ! dom9ion ( fe>2 ! ess5ce ( fe>1 t :i* prompts x1 is ! consci\sness ( our vuln]ability4 ,:at we all dread is ! disease or ! accid5t t may disable u1 ! loss ( money or cr$it1 ! dea? ( ^? :om we love & ^: love makes ! sun%9e ( our life1 ! ang] & ho/ility & displeasure & scorn & ill-usage ( ^? ab\t u4 ,^! are ! def9ite ?+s :i* ! anxi\s m9d =eca/s1 & ^u :i* x m\rnfully dwells4 ,! object !n 9 ! m9ds ( ! philosoph]s or tea*]s :o w\ld fa9 relieve ! unhapp9ess ( ! _w1 has be5 always to sugge/ ways 9 :i* ?is vuln]ability may be less5$2 & ?us _! object has be5 to dis5gage z f> z possible ! hopes & affections ( m5 f ?+s :i* mu/ always be fleet+4 ,t is ! pr9ciple :i* lies beh9d all asceticism1 t1 if "o c be indiff]5t to weal? & com=t & popul>ity1 "o has a bett] *ance ( s]5ity4 ,! ess5ce ( t tea*+ is n t pleasant ?+s are n desirable1 b t "o is m mis]able if "o loses !m ?an if "o nev] c>es = !m at all4 ,! ascetic tra9s himself to be indiff]5t ab\t food & dr9k & ! app>atus ( life2 he aims at celibacy p>tly because love itself is an ov]ma/]+ passion1 & p>tly because he _c be> to engage himself ) human affections1 ! loss ( :i* may give him pa94 ,!re is1 ( c\rse1 a deep] /ra9 9 asceticism ?an ?is1 :i* is a suspici\s mi/ru/ ( all physical joys & a s5se ( _! bas5ess2 b t is 9 itself an arti/ic pref]5ce ( m5tal & spiritual joys1 & a defiance to ev]y?+ :i* may impair or invade !m4 ,! ,/oic imp]turbability is an attempt to take a fur!r /ep2 n to fly f life1 b to m+le ) x1 & yet to gr[ to be n dep5d5t on x4 ,! ,/oic ideal 0 a high "o1 to cultivate a firmness ( m9d t 0 on ! "o h& n to be dismay$ by pa9 or suff]+1 & on ! o!r to use life s temp]ately & judici\sly z n to =m habits ( indulg5ce :i* x w\ld be pa9ful to discont9ue4 ,! weakness ( ,/oicism 0 t x despis$ human relations2 & ! /r5g? ( primitive ,*ri/ianity 0 t1 :ile x recomm5d$ a ,/oical simplicity ( life1 x taught m5 n to be afraid ( love1 b to use & lavi% love freely1 z be+ ! "o ?+ :i* w\ld survive dea? & n be cut %ort by x4 ,! ,*ri/ian tea*+ came to ?is1 t ! _w 0 meant to be a s*ool ( love1 & t love 0 to be an outw>d-rippl+ r+ ( affection ext5d+ f ! family outw>ds to ! tribe1 ! nation1 ! _w1 & on to ,god ,himself4 ,x laid all its emphasis on ! tru? t love is ! "o immortal ?+1 t all ! joys & triumphs ( ! _w pass away ) ! decay ( its mat]ial framework1 b t love passes boldly on1 ) l9k$ h&s1 into ! d>kness ( ! unkn[n4 ,! "o loss t ,*ri/ianity recognis$ 0 ! loss ( love2 ! "o puni%m5t x dread$ 0 ! )hold+ ( love4 ,z ,*ri/ianity soak$ into ! _w1 x became vitiat$1 & drew into itself _m elem5ts ( human weakness4 ,x became a social =ce1 x le>n$ to dep5d on prop]ty1 x fulm9at$ a code ( crim9ality1 & accept$ human /&>ds ( prosp]ity & weal?4 ,x lo/ its simplicity & became sophi/icat$4 ,x is h>d to say t m5 ( ! _w %\ld n1 if !y wi%1 claim to be ,*ri/ians1 b ! :ole ess5ce ( ,*ri/ianity is obscur$ if x is =gott5 t its vital attributes are its indiff]5ce to mat]ial conv5i5ces1 & its emphatic acceptance ( sympa?y z ! "o supreme virtue4 ,?is is b ano!r way ( express+ t our tr\bles & our t]rors alike are bas$ on selfi%ness1 & t if we are really conc]n$ ) ! welf>e ( o!rs we %all n be mu* conc]n$ ) our own4 ,! difficulty 9 adopt+ ! ,*ri/ian !ory is t ,god does n app>5tly int5d to cure ! _w by creat+ all m5 unselfi%4 ,p are born selfi%1 & ! laws ( nature & h]$ity seem to orda9 t x %all be s4 ,inde$ a c]ta9 selfi%ness seems to be insep>able f any desire to live4 ,! =ce ( asceticism & ( ,/oicism is t !y bo? appeal to selfi%ness z a motive4 ,!y frankly say1 ,happ9ess is y\r aim1 p]sonal happ9ess2 b in/ead ( grasp+ at pleasure :5ev] x (f]s1 y w f9d x m prud5t 9 ! end n to c>e too mu* ab\t su* ?+s4 ,x is true t popul> ,*ri/ianity makes ! same sort ( appeal4 ,x says1 or seems to say1 ,if y grasp at happ9ess 9 ?is _w1 y may secure a great deal ( x successfully2 b x w be worse = y ev5tually4 ,! !ory ( life z taught & en=c$1 = in/ance1 9 su* a "w z ,dante's great poem is bas$ ^u ?is crudity ( ?\ght4 ,dante1 by 8 ,hell & 8 ,purgatory1 express$ pla9ly t ! *ief motive ( man to practise morality mu/ be 8 fe> ( ultimate puni%m5t4 ,8 0 an attempt to draw away ! curta9 :i* hides ?is _w f ! next1 & to horrify m5 into liv+ purely & k9dly4 ,b ! m9d only revolts aga9/ ! da/>dly inju/ice ( a ,god1 :o all[s m5 to be born into ! _w s corrupt1 ) s _m inc5tives to s91 & delib]ately hides f !m ! gha/ly sight ( ! et]nal torm5ts1 :i* might h sav$ !m f recklessness ( life4 ,no "o :o _h trod ! d>k cav]ns ( ,hell or ! fl9ty ridges ( ,purgatory1 z ,dante repres5t$ himself do+1 :o _h se5 ! awful sights & he>d ! he>t-brok5 words ( ! place1 c\ld h return$ to ! _w z a light-he>t$ s9n]6 ,:atev] we may believe ( ,god1 we mu/ n = an in/ant all[ ourselves to believe t life c be s brief & f9ite1 s small & hamp]$ an opportunity1 & t puni%m5t c\ld be s demoniacal & s inf9ite4 ,a ,god :o c\ld design su* a s*eme mu/ be ess5tially evil & malignant4 ,we may m5ace wick$ m5 ) puni%m5t = wanton misde$s1 b x mu/ be ) j puni%m5t4 ,:at c\ld we say ( a human fa!r :o expos$ a *ild to temptation )\t expla9+ ! consequ5ces1 & !n condemn$ him to lifelong p5alties = fail+ to make ! "r *oice8 ,we mu/ firmly believe t if (f5ces are f9ite1 puni%m5t mu/ be f9ite too2 t x mu/ be rem$ial & n me*anical4 ,we mu/ believe t if we des]ve puni%m5t1 x w be because we c hope = re/oration4 ,hell is a mon/r\s & insupportable fiction1 & ! idea ( x is simply inconsi/5t ) any belief 9 ! goodness ( ,god4 ,x is easy to quote texts to support x1 b we mu/ n all[ any text1 any record 9 ! _w1 h[ev] sacr$1 to %att] our belief 9 ! ,love & ,ju/ice ( ,god4 ,& ,i say z frankly & directly z ,i c t until we c get rid ( ?is intol]able t]ror1 we c make no advance at all4 ,! old1 fi]ce ,sa9ts1 :o w5t into ! d>kness exult+ 9 ! ?\ght ( ! et]nal damnation ( ! wick$1 _h n spelt ! fir/ lett] ( ! ,*ri/ian cre$1 & ,i d\bt n h discov]$ _! mi/ake long ago6 ,yet !re are pi\s p 9 ! _w :o w nei!r ?9k nor speak frankly ( ! subject1 = fe> ( weak5+ ! motives = human virtue4 ,i w at lea/ speak frankly1 & ?\gh ,i believe ) all my he>t 9 a life beyond ! grave1 9 :i* suff]+ en\gh may exi/ = ! cure ( ^? :o by wilful s9 h sunk into slo? & hopelessness & despair1 & ev5 into cruelty & brutality1 ,i d n = an in/ant believe t ! conduct ( ! vile/ human be+ :o ev] set foot on ! e>? c des]ve m ?an a t]m ( puni%m5t1 or t su* puni%m5t w h any?+ t is v9dictive ab\t x4 ,x may be said t ,i am "h only combat+ an old-fa%ion$ idea1 & t no "o believes 9 ! old !ory ( et]nal puni%m5t1 or t if !y believe t ! possibility exi/s1 !y d n believe t any human be+ c incur x4 ,b ,i feel little d\bt t ! belief does exi/1 & t x is m widespread ?an "o c>es to believe4 ,to believe x is to yield to ! d>ke/ & base/ temptation ( fe>1 & keeps all :o hold x back f ! tru? ( ,god4 ,:at !n are we to believe ab\t ! puni%m5t ( our s9s8 ,i look back ^u my own life1 & ,i see numb]less occasions--!y rise up be=e me1 a long p]spective ( failures--:5 ,i h act$ cruelly1 selfi%ly1 self-indulg5tly1 basely1 kn[+ p]fectly well t ,i 0 s behav+4 ,:at 0 wrong ) me8 ,:y did ,i s behave8 ,because ,i pref]r$ ! bas] c\rse1 & ?\ght at ! "t t x gave me pleasure4 ,well !n1 :at d ,i wi% ab\t all t8 ,i wi% x _h n happ5$ s1 ,i wi% ,i _h be5 k9d]1 m j1 m self-re/ra9$1 m /rong4 ,i am a%am$1 because ,i condemn myself1 & because ,i "k t ^? :om ,i love & hon\r w\ld condemn me1 if !y knew all4 ,b ,i d n1 !re=e1 lose all hope ( myself1 nor d ,i ?9k t ,god w n %[ me h[ to be diff]5t4 ,if x c only be done by suff]+1 ,i dread ! suff]+1 b ,i am ready to suff] if ,i c become :at ,i %\ld wi% to be4 ,b ,i d n = a mom5t ?9k t ,god w ca/ me (f or turn ,8 face away f me because ,i h s9n$2 & ,i c pray t ,he w lead me into light & /r5g?4 ,& ?us x is n my vuln]ability t ,i dread2 ,i r welcome x z a sign t ,i may le>n ! tru? s4 ,& ,i w n look ^u my desire = pleasant ?+s z a pro( t ,i am evil1 b r z a pro( t ,god is %[+ me :]e happ9ess lies1 & tea*+ me by my mi/akes to disc]n & value x4 ,he c\ld make me p]fect if ,he w\ld1 9 a s+le in/ant4 ,b ! fact t ,he does n1 is a sign t ,he has some?+ bett] 9 /ore = me ?an a m]e me*anical p]fection4 ,v ,,! ,,use ,,( ,,fe> ,! advantages ( ! fe>ful temp]am5t1 if x is n a m]e unmann+ & desolat+ dread1 are n to be ov]look$4 ,fe> is ! %ad[ ( ! imag9ative1 ! res\rceful1 ! inv5tive temp]am5t1 b x multiplies res\rce & inv5tion a hundr$fold4 ,ev]yone kn[s ! sup]/ition :i* is deeply root$ 9 humanity1 t a "t ( exaltation & excitem5t & unusual success is held to be (t5 ! prelude to "s disa/]1 j z ! s5se ( excitem5t & buoyant heal?1 :5 x is v consci\sly p]ceiv$1 is ?\ght to h]ald ! approa* ( illness4 ,i felt s happy1 p say1 t ,i 0 sure t "s mis=tune 0 go+ to befall me--x is n lucky to feel s secure z t6 ,?is repres5t$ itself to ! ,greeks z "p ( ! div9e gov]nm5t ( ! _w2 !y ?\ght t ! he$less & self-confid5t man 0 beguil$ by success into :at !y call$ ubris1 ! insol5ce ( prosp]ity2 & t !n atae1 t is1 disa/]1 foll[$4 ,!y believ$ t ! ov]-prosp]\s man incurr$ ! envy & jeal\sy ( ! gods4 ,we see ?is 9 ! old leg5d ( ,polycrates ( ,samos1 ^: s*emes all succe$$1 & ^: v5tures all turn$ out well4 ,he consult$ a soo?say] ab\t 8 al>m+ prosp]ity1 :o advis$ him to inflict "s delib]ate loss or sacrifice ^u himself2 s ,polycrates drew f 8 f+] & flung into ! sea a signet-r+ :i* he possess$1 ) a jewel ( great r>ity & beauty 9 x4 ,soon aft]w>ds a fi% 0 caught by ! royal fi%]man1 & 0 s]v$ up at ! k+'s table--!re1 inside ! body ( ! fi%1 0 ! r+2 & :5 ,polycrates saw t1 he felt t ! gods _h re/or$ him 8 gift1 & t 8 de/ruction 0 det]m9$ ^u2 :i* came true1 = he 0 caught by pirates at sea1 & crucifi$ ^u a rocky headl&4 ,no nation1 & lea/ ( all ! ,greeks1 w\ld h arriv$ at ?is !ory ( life & fate1 if !y _h n felt t x 0 support$ by actual in/ances4 ,x 0 ( ! nature ( an inf]5ce f ! facts ( life2 & ! explanation und\bt$ly is t m5 d get betray$1 by a con/ant exp]i5ce ( good =tune1 into ra%ness & he$lessness1 because !y tru/ to _! luck & dep5d ^u _! =tunate />4 ,b ! man :o is ( an en]getic & active type1 if he is haunt$ by anxiety1 if 8 imag9ation pa9ts ! possibilities ( disa/]1 takes e means 9 8 p[] to =esee cont+5cies1 & to deal cauti\sly & ?or\ghly ) ! situation :i* causes him anxiety4 ,if he is a man ( ke5 s5sibilities1 ! pressure ( su* c>e is s insupportable t he takes prompt & effective measures to remove x2 & 8 fe> ?us becomes an elem5t 9 8 success1 because x urges him to action1 & at ! same "t tea*es him ! ne$ ( due precaution4 ,z ,horace wrote3 ,sp]at infe/is1 metuit secundis ,alt]am sortem4 ,he hopes = a *ange ( =tune :5 ?+s are m5ac+1 he fe>s a rev]se :5 ?+s are prosp]\s4 ,& if we look at ! facts ( life1 we see t x is n by any means ! confid5t & optimi/ic p :o succe$ be/ 9 _! designs4 ,x is r ! man ( eag] & ambiti\s temp]am5t1 :o dreads a repulse & anticipates x1 & takes all possible measures be=eh& to avoid x4 ,we see ! same pr9ciple und]ly+ ! sci5tific doctr9e ( evolution4 ,p (t5 ?9k loosely t ! idea ( evolution1 9 ! case1 let u say1 ( a bird l a h]on1 ) 8 immobility1 8 long legs1 8 po9t$ beak1 8 muscul> neck1 is t su* *>act]i/ics h be5 evolv$ ?r\gh long ages by birds t h _h to get _! food 9 swamps & %all[ lakes1 & 7 ?us gradually equipp$ = food-gett+ ?r\gh long ages ( practice4 ,b ( c\rse no p>ticul> bird is ?us modifi$ by circum/ances4 ,a pigeon transf]r$ to a f5 w\ld n develop ! *>act]i/ics ( ! h]on2 x w\ld simply die = lack ( food4 ,x is r t c]ta9 m9ute v>iations take place1 = unkn[n reasons1 9 e species2 & ! bird :i* happ5$ to be hat*$ out 9 a f5l& ) a r %>p] beak or r long] legs ?an 8 fell[s1 w\ld h 8 p[] ( obta9+ food slightly increas$1 & w\ld ?us be m likely to p]petuate 9 8 (fspr+ t p>ticul> advantage ( =m4 ,?is pr9ciple work+ ?r\gh endless c5turies w\ld t5d sl[ly to develop ! /ock t 0 bett] equipp$ = life "u su* circum/ances1 & to elim9ate ^? less suit$ to ! locality2 & ?us ! fitte/ w\ld t5d to survive4 ,b x does n indicate any design on ! "p ( ! birds !mselves1 nor any delib]ate attempt to develop ^? *>act]i/ics2 x is r t su* *>act]i/ics1 once />t$ by natural v>iation1 t5d to emphasize !mselves 9 ! lapse ( "t4 ,no d\bt fe> has play$ an enorm\s "p 9 ! progress ( ! human race itself4 ,! savage ^: imag9ation 0 /rong] ?an t ( o!r savages1 & :o c\ld =eca/ ! possibilities ( disa/]1 w\ld w&] ?r\gh ! =e/ ) m precaution aga9/ wild bea/s1 & w\ld make 8 dwell+ m secure aga9/ assault2 s t ! m timid & imag9ative type w\ld t5d to survive longe/ & to multiply _! /ock4 ,man 9 8 physical *>act]i/ics is a v weak1 frail1 & helpless animal1 expos$ to all k9ds ( dang]s2 8 infancy is protract$ & s+ul>ly def5celess2 8 pace is sl[1 8 /r5g? is insignificant2 x is 8 imag9ation t has put him at ! top ( creation1 & has enabl$ him bo? to evade dang]s & to use natural =ces = 8 great] security4 ,?\gh he is ! y\nge/ ( all creat$ =ms1 & by no means ! be/ equipp$ = life1 he has be5 able to g ahead 9 a way d5i$ to all o!r animals2 8 inv5tiv5ess has be5 l>gely develop$ by 8 t]rors2 & ! result has be5 t :]eas all o!r animals /ill pres]ve1 z a condition ( life1 _! ceaseless attitude ( suspicion & fe>1 man has be5 enabl$ by organisation to e/abli% communities 9 :i* fe> ( disa/] plays b little "p4 ,if "o wat*es a bird fe$+ on a lawn1 x is /range to obs]ve its ceaseless vigilance4 ,x takes a hurri$ m\?ful1 & !n looks r\nd 9 an agitat$ mann] to see t x is 9 no dang] ( attack4 ,yet x is cle> t ! t]ror 9 :i* all wild animals seem to live1 & )\t :i* self-pres]vation w\ld be impossible1 does n 9 ! lea/ militate aga9/ _! physical welf>e4 ,a man :o _h to live 8 life "u ! same sort ( risks t a bird 9 a g>d5 has to endure f cats & o!r foes1 w\ld lose 8 s5ses f ! awful pressure ( t]ror2 he w\ld lie "u ! con/ant %ad[ ( assass9ation4 ,b ! s+ul> ?+ 9 ,nature is t %e pres]ves *>act]i/ics long aft] !y h ceas$ to be ne$$2 & s1 ?\gh a man 9 a civilis$ community has v little to dread1 he is /ill haunt$ by an irrational s5se ( insecurity & prec>i\sness4 ,& ?us _m ( our fe>s arise f old inh]itance1 & repres5t no?+ rational or real at all1 b only an old & savage ne$ ( vigilance & w>9ess4 ,"o c see ?is exemplifi$ 9 a curi\s way 9 level tracts ( c\ntry4 ,ev]yone :o has trav]s$ places l ! pla9 ( ,worce/]%ire mu/ rememb] ! irritat+ way 9 :i* ! roads keep asc5d+ little em95ces1 in/ead ( go+ r\nd at ! foot4 ,n[ ^! old c\ntry roads no d\bt repres5t v anci5t tracks inde$1 dat+ f times :5 mu* ( ! l& 0 uncultivat$4 ,!y get /]eotyp$1 p>tly because !y 7 tracks1 & p>tly because = conv5i5ce ! fir/ enclosures & tillages 7 made along ! roads = purposes ( communication4 ,b ! p]petual t5d5cy to asc5d little em95ces no d\bt dates f a "t :5 x 0 saf] to g up1 9 ord] to look r\nd & to see ahead1 p>tly 9 ord] to be sure ( "o's direction1 & p>tly to bew>e ( ! manifold dang]s ( ! road4 ,& ?us _m ( ! fe>s by :i* "o is haunt$ are ^! old survivals1 ^! inh]it$ anxieties4 ,:o does n "k ! frame ( m9d :5 p]haps = a day1 p]haps = days toge!r1 ! m9d is oppress$ & uneasy1 sc5t+ dang] 9 ! air1 =eca/+ calamity1 rec\nt+ all ! possible directions 9 :i* fate or malice may h p[] to w\nd & hurt u8 ,x is a melan*oly inh]itance1 b x _c be combat$ by any reason4 ,x is ( no use !n to imitate ,rob9son ,crusoe1 & to make a li/ ( "o's bless+s on a piece ( pap]2 t only increases our fe>1 because x is j ! *ance ( =feit+ su* bless+s ( :i* we are 9 dread6 ,we mu/ simply rem9d ourselves t we are surr\nd$ by old phantoms1 & t we d]ive our weakness f ages f> back1 9 :i* risks 7 _m & security 0 r>e4 ,,vi ,,fe>s ,,( ,,*ildhood ,if ,i look back ov] my own life1 ,i c disc]n ?ree di/9ct /ages ( fe> & anxieties1 & ,i expect x is ! same ) mo/ p4 ,! t]rors ( *ildhood are v my/]i\s ?+s1 & _! horror consi/s 9 ! *ild's inability to put ! dread into words4 ,i rememb] h[ "o night1 :5 we 7 liv+ 9 ! ,ma/]'s ,lodge at ,well+ton ,college1 ,i _h gone to b$1 & wak+ soon aft]w>ds he>d a voice some:]e outside4 ,i got out ( b$1 w5t to ! door1 & look$ out4 ,close to my door 0 an ar*way :i* look$ into ! op5 gall]y t ran r\nd ! big front hall1 giv+ access to ! b$rooms4 ,at ! opposite end ( ! hall1 9 ! gall]y1 burnt a gaslight3 to my horror ,i obs]v$ close to ! gas :at seem$ to me a colossal %r\d$ /atue1 made ( a black bronze1 =mless1 sil5t1 awful4 ,i crept back to my b$1 & !re %iv]$ 9 an ec/asy ( fe>1 till at la/ ,i fell asleep4 ,!re 0 no /atue !re 9 ! morn+6 ,i told my old nurse1 aft] a day or two ( dumb dread1 :at ,i _h se54 ,%e laugh$1 & told me t a c]ta9 ,mrs4 ,hold]1 an eld]ly wid[ :o 0 a dressmak]1 _h be5 to see h]1 ab\t "s piece ( "w4 ,!y _h turn$ out ! nurs]y lights & 7 go+ d[n/airs1 :5 "s "q arose ab\t ! /uff ( ! frock1 :atev] x 04 ,mrs4 ,hold] _h m\nt$ on a *air to look close at ! /uff by ! gaslight2 & ?is 0 my bogey6 ,we _h a delightful cu/om 9 nurs]y days1 devis$ by my "m1 t on fe/ival occasions1 su* z bir?days or at ,*ri/mas1 our pres5ts 7 giv5 u 9 ! ev5+ by a fairy call$ ,abracadabra4 ,! fir/ "t ! fairy appe>$1 we he>d1 aft] tea1 9 ! hall1 ! ho>se notes ( a horn4 ,we ru%$ out 9 amazem5t4 ,d[n 9 ! hall1 talk+ to an aunt ( m9e :o 0 /ay+ 9 ! h\se1 /ood a v]itable fairy1 9 a sc>let dress1 c>ry+ a w& & a sc>let bag1 & we>+ a high po9t$ sc>let hat1 ( ! %ape ( an ext+ui%]4 ,my aunt call$ u d[n2 & we saw t ! fairy _h ! face ( a great ape1 d>k-br[n1 spectacl$1 ( a good-natur$ aspect1 ) a broad gr91 & a curi\s crop ( :ite hair1 hang+ d[n beh9d & on ea* side4 ,un=tunately my elde/ bro!r1 a v clev] & imag9ative *ild1 0 seiz$ ) a panic s insupportable at ! sight ( ! face1 t 8 pres5t _h to be giv5 him hurri$ly1 & he 0 l$ away1 blan*$ & %udd]+1 to ! nurs]y4 ,aft] t1 ! fairy nev] appe>$ except :5 he 0 at s*ool3 b long aft]1 :5 ,i 0 look+ 9 a lumb]-room ) my bro!r = "s mislaid toys1 ,i f\nd 9 a box ! mask ( ,abracadabra & ! horn4 ,i put x hurri$ly on1 & blew a bla/ on ! horn1 :i* seem$ to be ( tortoise-%ell ) metal fitt+s4 ,to my amazem5t1 he turn$ p]fectly :ite1 cov]$ 8 face ) 8 h&s1 & bur/ out ) ! mo/ dreadful moans4 ,i ?\ght at fir/ t he 0 mak+ believe to be fright5$1 b ,i saw 9 a m9ute or two t he _h q lo/ control ( himself1 & ! ?+s 7 hurri$ly put away4 ,at ! "t ,i ?\ght x a silly k9d ( affectation4 ,b ,i p]ceive n[ t he _h _h a real %ock ! fir/ "t he _h se5 ! mask2 & ?\gh he 0 !n a big s*oolboy1 ! t]ror 0 indelible4 ,:o c say ( :at old inh]itance ( fe> t horror ( ! great ape-l c\nt5ance 0 ! sign8 ,he _h no associations ( fe> ) apes1 b x mu/ h be51 ,i ?9k1 "s dim old primeval t]ror1 dat+ f "s ance/ral enc\nt] ) a =e/ mon/]4 ,9 no o!r way c ,i expla9 x4 ,aga91 z a *ild1 ,i 0 once sitt+ at d9n] ) my p>5ts1 read+ an old b\nd-up ,saturday ,magaz9e1 look+ at ! pictures1 & wait+ = dess]t4 ,i turn$ a page1 & saw a picture ( a ,sa9t1 ly+ on ! gr\nd1 hold+ up a cross1 & a huge & cl\dy fi5d ) va/ bat-l w+s b5d+ ov] him1 prep>+ to clut* him1 b det]r$ by ! sacr$ emblem4 ,t 0 a really t]rible %ock4 ,i turn$ ! page ha/ily1 & said no?+1 ?\gh x depriv$ me ( spee* & appetite4 ,my fa!r notic$ my di/ress1 & ask$ if ,i felt unwell1 b ,i said ,no4 ,i got ?r\gh dess]t someh[2 b !n ,i _h to say good-night1 g out into ! dimly-lit hall1 slip ! volume back into ! bookcase1 & get up/airs4 ,i tore up ! /aircase1 feel+ ! air full ( w+s & clut*+ h&s4 ,t 0 too bad ev] to be spok5 (2 & z ,i did n rememb] :i* volume x 01 ,i 0 nev] able to look at ! set ( magaz9es aga9 = fe> ( enc\nt]+ x2 & /range to say "s ye>s aft]w>ds1 :5 ,i 0 an ,eton boy1 ,i look$ curi\sly = ! picture1 & aga9 exp]i5c$ ! same ov]:elm+ horror4 ,my y\nge/ bro!r1 too1 an imag9ative *ild1 c\ld nev] be p]suad$ by any bribes or entreaties to g into a d>k room to fet* any?+ out4 ,no?+ w\ld induce him4 ,i rememb] t he 0 cate*is$ at ! tea-table z to :at he expect$ to f9d1 to :i* he repli$ at once1 ) a horror-/rick5 look & a long /amm]1 ,b--b--b--blood/a9$ corpses6 ,x seems fanta/ic & ridicul\s en\gh to old] p1 b ! horror ( ! d>k & ( ! unkn[n :i* "s *ildr5 h is n a ?+ to be laugh$ at1 nor %\ld x be unsympa!tically combat$4 ,"o mu/ rememb] t exp]i5ce has n taught a *ild scepticism2 he ?9ks t any?+ 9 ! _w may happ52 & all ! mon/]s ( nurs]y tales1 gobl9s1 wit*es1 evil fairies1 dragons1 :i* a *ild 9 daylight w "k to be imag9>y1 beg91 z ! dusk draws on1 to become appall+ possibilities4 ,!y may be some:]e ab\t1 lurk+ 9 cell>s & cupbo>ds & l(ts & d>k entries by day1 & at night !y may slip out to d :at h>m !y c4 ,= *ildr51 n f> f ! gates ( bir?1 are /ill /rongly ! victims ( primeval & inh]it$ fe>s1 n correct$ by ! habitual curr5t ( life4 ,x is n a reason = depriv+ *ildr5 ( ! joys ( ! old tales & ! ex]cise ( ! faculty ( wond]2 b ! t5d5cy %\ld be v c>efully gu>d$ & wat*$1 because ^! sudd5 %ocks may make indelible m>ks1 & leave a little weak spot 9 ! m9d :i* may prove difficult to heal4 ,x is n only ^! spectral t]rors aga9/ :i* *ildr5 h to be gu>d$4 ,all sev]ity & %>p indignity ( puni%m5t1 all intemp]ate ang]1 all r\ghness ( treatm5t1 %\ld be kept 9 /rict re/ra9t4 ,!re are noisy1 boi/]\s1 heal?y *ildr51 ( c\rse1 :o d n res5t or ev5 dread %>p usage4 ,b x is n always easy to discov] ! s5sitive *ild1 because fe> ( displeasure w freeze him into a /upor ( app>5t dullness & /ubbornness4 ,i am always infuriat$ by /upid p :o regret ! disappe>ance ( %>p1 /]n1 p]emptory puni%m5ts1 & lam5t ! s(tness ( ! ris+ g5]ation4 ,if puni%m5t mu/ be inflict$1 x %\ld be done good-natur$ly & robu/ly z a natural tit-=-tat4 ,ang] %\ld be res]v$ = ?+s l spitefulness & di%one/y & cruelty4 ,!re is no?+ m utt]ly confus+ to ! *ildi% m9d ?an to h trifl+ faults treat$ ) wra? & indignation4 ,x is true t1 9 ! _w ( nature1 puni%m5t seems (t5 :olly disproportionate to (f5ces4 ,nature w p5alise c>elessness 9 a disa/r\s fa%ion1 & sp>e ! cauti\s & prud5t s9n]4 ,b !re is no excuse = u1 if we h any s5se ( ju/ice & pati5ce at all1 = n sett+ a bett] example4 ,we ought to %[ *ildr5 t !re is a moral ord] :i* we are endeav\r+ to adm9i/]4 ,if p>5ts & s*oolma/]s1 :o are bo? judges & execution]s1 all[ _! own rule to be =tuit\s1 indulge _! own irritable moods1 puni% sev]ely a trifl+ fault1 & s5tim5talise or condone a s]i\s "o1 a *ild is utt]ly confus$4 ,i "k sev]al p :o h _h _! lives blight$1 h be5 made suspici\s1 cynical1 crafty1 & timid1 by sev]e usage & bully+ & op5 contempt 9 *ildhood4 ,! ?+ to avoid1 = all :o are responsible 9 ! smalle/ degree = ! nurture ( *ildr51 is to call 9 ! influ5ce ( fe>2 "o may speak pla9ly ( consequ5ces1 b ev5 !re "o mu/ n exagg]ate1 z s*oolma/]s (t5 d1 = ! be/ ( motives1 ab\t moral faults2 "o may puni% delib]ate & repeat$ disob$i5ce1 wanton cruelty1 p]si/5t & selfi% disreg>d ( ! rights ( o!rs1 b "o mu/ w>n _m times1 & nev] try to triumph ov] a fault by ! infliction ( a %ock ( any k9d4 ,! %ock is ! mo/ cruel & c[>dly sort ( puni%m5t1 & if we wilfully use x1 !n we are p]petuat+ ! sad tyranny ( in/9ctive fe>1 & us+ ! /r5g? ( a great angel to d ! "w ( a demon1 su* z ,i saw long ago 9 ! old magaz9e1 & felt its tyranny = _m days4 ,z a *ild ! "o ?+ ,i 0 afraid ( 0 ! possibility ( my fa!r's displeasure4 ,we did n see a great deal ( him1 because he 0 a mu* occupi$ headma/]2 & he 0 to me a /ately & maje/ic pres5ce1 be=e :om ! :ole creat$ _w seem$ visibly to b[4 ,b he 0 deeply anxi\s ab\t our upbr++1 & _h a v /rong s5se ( 8 responsibility2 & he w\ld sometimes reprove u r /]nly = "s extremely trifl+ ?+1 ! way "o ate "o's food1 or spoke1 or behav$4 ,?is desc5d$ ^u me z a cl\d ( d>kness2 ,i attempt$ no excuses1 ,i did n expla9 or def5d myself2 ,i simply 0 cru%$ & conf\nd$4 ,i d n ?9k x 0 ! "r me?od4 ,he nev] puni%$ u1 b we 7 n at ease ) him4 ,i rememb] ! agony ) :i* ,i he>d a y\ng] si/] once repeat to him "s silly & pr(ane little jokes :i* a good-natur$ & absurd old lady _h told u 9 ! nurs]y4 ,i felt sure he w\ld disapprove1 z he did4 ,i knew q well 9 my *ildi% m9d t x 0 h>mless nons5se1 & did n give u a ta/e = ungodly mir?4 ,b ,i c\ld n int]v5e or expo/ulate4 ,i am sure t my fa!r _h n ! slighte/ idea h[ weighty & dom9ant he 02 b _m ( ! ?+s he rebuk$ w\ld h be5 bett] n notic$1 or if notic$ only made fun (1 :ile ,i feel t he ought to h giv5 u m opportunity ( /at+ our case4 ,he simply fright5$ me into hav+ a diff]5t morality :5 ,i 0 9 8 pres5ce to :at ,i _h else:]e4 ,b he did n make me love goodness !reby1 & only gave me a s5se t c]ta9 ?+s1 h>mless 9 !mselves1 mu/ n be done or said 9 ! pres5ce ( papa4 ,he did n always rememb] 8 own rules1 & !re 0 ?us an elem5t ( inju/ice 9 8 rebukes1 :i* "o m]ely accept$ z "p ( 8 awful & unacc\ntable greatness4 ,:5 ,i 0 transf]r$ to a private s*ool1 a great big place1 v well manag$ 9 e way1 ,i liv$ = a "t 9 atroci\s t]ror ( ev]y?+ & ev]ybody4 ,i 0 consci\s ( a great code ( rules :i* ,i did n "k or und]/&1 :i* ,i might q unwitt+ly break1 & ! consequ5ces ( :i* might be fatal4 ,i 0 nev] puni%$ or can$1 nor 0 ,i ev] bulli$4 ,b ,i simply effac$ myself z f> z possible1 & liv$ 9 dread ( disa/]4 ,! ?\ght ev5 n[ ( c]ta9 high blank walls ) l(ty b>r$ w9d[s1 ! rememb]$ smells ( c]ta9 passages & corn]s1 ! tall =m & fla%+ eye ( our headma/] & ! fa9t fragrance ( ,havana cig>s :i* hung ab\t him1 ! b>e corridors ) _! d>k cupbo>ds1 ! /one /airs & iron rail+s--all ?is gives me a f>-(f s5se ( dread4 ,i c give no reason = my unhapp9ess !re2 b ,i c recollect wak+ 9 ! e>ly summ] morn+s1 he>+ ! screams ( peacocks f an adjo9+ g>d51 & ?9k+ ) a dreadful s5se ( isolation & despair ( all ! possibilities ( disa/] t lay hid 9 ! day4 ,i am sure x 0 n a :olesome exp]i5ce4 ,"o ne$ n fe> ! _w m ?an is necess>y--b my only dream ( peace 0 ! escape to ! delights ( home1 & ! ?\ght ( ! l>g] _w 0 only a ?+ t ,i %rank f & %udd]$ at4 ,no1 x is wrong to say "o _h no fri5ds1 b h[ few !y seem$ & h[ cle>ly !y /& out6 ,i did n make fri5ds among ! boys2 !y 7 pleasant en\gh acqua9tances1 "s ( !m1 b n to be tru/$ or confid$ 92 !y _h to be kept at arm's l5g?1 & "o's real life gu>d$ & ho>d$ away f !m2 because if "o told !m any?+ ab\t "o's home or "o's ideas1 x might be repeat$1 & ! sacr$ facts %\t$ 9 "o's e>s z taunts & je/s4 ,b !re 0 a little bluff ma/]1 a cl]gyman1 ) %aggy rippl$ r$-br[n hair & a face l a pug-dog4 ,he 0 k9d to me1 & _h me to lun* "o ,sunday 9 a villa out at ,b>nes--t 0 a brea? ( life1 to sit 9 a homelike room & look at old ,pun*es half ! aft]noon2 & !re 0 ano!r "y man1 a ma/]1 r /\t & pale1 ) :om ,i %>$ "s little jokes1 & :o treat$ me z he might treat a y\ng] bro!r2 he 0 pl$g$1 ,i rememb]1 to give me a cake if ,i won an ,eton ,s*ol>%ip1 & royally he r$eem$ 8 promise4 ,he di$ ( he>t disease a little :ile aft] ,i left ! s*ool4 ,i _h promis$ to write to him f ,eton & nev] did s1 & ,i _h a little pang ab\t t :5 ,i he>d ( 8 dea?4 ,& !n !re 0 ! h&some l\d-voic$ maid ( my dormitory1 ,und]wood by "n1 :o 0 always j & k9d1 & :o1 ev5 :5 %e rat$ u1 z %e did at times1 _h always some?+ human beckon+ f h] h&some eye4 ,i c see h] n[1 ) h] sleeves tuck$ up1 & h] big :ite muscul> arms1 wa%+ a refractory little boy :o f\ght %y ( soap & wat]4 ,i _h a wild idea ( giv+ h] a kiss :5 ,i w5t away1 & ,i ?9k %e w\ld h lik$ t4 ,%e told me ,i _h always be5 a good boy1 & t %e 0 sorry t ,i 0 go+2 b ,i did n d>e to embrace h]4 ,& !n !re 0 de> ,l\isa1 ! matron ( ! little sanatorium on ! ,mortlake road4 ,%e _h be5 a =m] h\semaid ( ours2 %e 0 a /rong /urdy woman1 ) a deep voice l a man1 & :5 ,i arriv$ !re ill--,i 0 (t5 ill 9 ^? days--%e us$ to hug & kiss me & ev5 cry ov] me2 & ! happie/ days ,i sp5t at s*ool 7 9 t poky little h\se1 read+ 9 ,l\isa's little p>l\r1 :ile %e prep>$ "s special di% z a treat = my supp]2 or sitt+ h\r by h\r at ! w9d[ ( my room up/airs1 wat*+ a groc] opposite set out 8 w9d[4 ,i c]ta9ly did love ,l\isa ) all my he>t2 & x 0 almo/ pleasant to be ill1 to be welcom$ by h] & pett$ & made mu* (4 ,my own de> boy1 %e us$ to say1 & x 0 music 9 my e>s4 ,i feel on look+ back t1 if ,i _h *ildr5 ( my own1 ,i %\ld /udy v c>efully to avoid any sort ( t]rorism4 ,psy*ologi/s tell u t ! n]v\s %ocks ( e>ly ye>s are ! ?+s t leave indelible m>ks ?r\gh\t life4 ,i believe t m5tal speciali/s (t5 make a c>eful /udy ( ! dreams ( ^? ^: m9ds are afflict$1 because x is held t dreams v (t5 cont9ue to reproduce 9 lat] life ! m5tal %ocks ( *ildhood4 ,ang]1 intemp]ate puni%m5t1 any attempt to produce in/ant submission & dismay 9 *ildr51 is v apt to hurt ! n]v\s organisation4 ,( c\rse x is easy en\gh to be c>eful ab\t ^! ?+s 9 %elt]$ environm5ts1 :]e !re is "s security & ref9em5t ( life4 ,& ?is op5s up a va/ problem :i* _c be t\*$ on "h1 because x is practically c]ta9 t _m *ildr5 9 poor & unsatisfactory homes su/a9 %ocks to _! m5tal organisation 9 e>ly life :i* damage !m irrep>ably1 & :i* c\ld be avoid$ if !y c\ld be br\ght up on m :olesome & t5d] l9es4 ,,vii ,,fe>s ,,( ,,boyhood ,!re is a t5d5cy1 ,i am sure1 9 books1 to %irk ! :ole subject ( fe>1 z ?\gh x 7 a ?+ disgraceful1 %ameful1 almo/ unm5tionable4 ,! c[>d1 ! timid p]son1 receives v little sympa?y2 he is r l "o ta9t$ ) a %ock+ disease1 ( :i* ! less said ! bett]4 ,he is n view$ ) any sympa?y or commis]ation1 b z some?+ almo/ l[] 9 ! scale ( humanity4 ,take ! lit]ature t deals ) s*ool life1 = in/ance4 ,i d n ?9k t !re is any prov9ce ( our lit]ature s inept1 s conv5tional1 s entirely lack+ 9 reality1 z ! books :i* deal ) ! life ( s*ools4 ,! difficulty ( writ+ !m is v great1 because !y c only be recon/ruct$ by an ef=t ( memory4 ,! boy himself is q unable to give expression to 8 ?\ghts & feel+s2 s*ool life is a "t ( %>p1 eag]1 (t5 r savage emotions1 liv$ by be+s :o h no s5se ( proportion1 no k ( life1 no idea ( :at is really go+ on 9 ! _w4 ,! actual incid5ts :i* occur are v trivial1 & yet to ! fre% m9ds & spirits ( boyhood !y seem all *>g$ ) an int5se significance4 ,!n aga9 ! talk ( s*oolboys is :olly immature & %apeless4 ,!y _c express !mselves1 & moreov] !re is a v /rict & p]emptory conv5tion :i* dictates :at may be talk$ ab\t & :at may n4 ,no society 9 ! _w is "u s oppressive a taboo4 ,!y mu/ n speak ( any?+ emotional or intellectual1 at ! co/ ( be+ ?\ght a fool or a prig4 ,!y talk ab\t games1 !y gossip ab\t boys & ma/]s1 sometimes _! conv]sation is na/y & be/ial4 ,b x conceals v real if v fitful emotions2 yet x is impossible to recall or to recon/ruct2 & :5 old] p attempt to recon/ruct x1 !y rememb] ! emotions :i* und]lay x1 & ! eag] int]e/s out ( :i* x all sprang2 & !y make x some?+ picturesque1 epigrammatic1 & v]nacul> :i* is :olly untrue to life4 ,! fact is t ! talk ( s*oolboys is v trivial & almo/ :olly symbolical2 emotion reveals itself 9 glance & ge/ure1 n 9 ^w at all4 ,i suppose t mo/ ( u rememb] our boyi% fri5d%ips1 ard5t & eag] p]sonal admirations1 extraord9>y deifications ( q commonplace boys1 emotions none ( :i* 7 ev] put into words at all1 h>dly ev5 into coh]5t ?\ght1 & 7 yet a swift & vital curr5t ( ! s\l4 ,n[ ! mo/ unreal "p ( ! recon/ructions ( s*ool life is ! insi/5ce on ! boyi% code ( hon\r4 ,nei!r z a boy nor z a s*oolma/] did ,i ev] h mu* evid5ce ( ?is4 ,!re 7 c]ta9 h>d & fa/ rules ( conduct1 l ! rule :i* prev5t$ any boy f giv+ in=mation to a ma/] aga9/ ano!r boy4 ,b ?is 0 n a consci5ti\s ?+4 ,x 0 "p ( ! tradition1 & ! social o/racism :i* 0 ! p5alty ( its infraction 0 too sev]e to risk incurr+4 ,b ! boys :o cut a s*oolfell[ = tell+ tales1 did n d x f any high-m9d$ s5se ( violat$ hon\r4 ,x 0 simply a piece ( self-def5ce1 & ! basis ( ! conv5tion 0 m]ely ?is1 t1 if ! rule 7 brok51 x w\ld produce an impossible s5se ( insecurity & p]il4 ,h[ev] mu* boys might on ! :ole approve (1 respect1 & ev5 l _! ma/]s1 /ill !y c\ld n make common cause ) !m4 ,! s*ool 0 a p]fectly def9ite community1 inside ( :i* x 0 (t5 conv5i5t & pleasant to d ?+s :i* w\ld be p5alis$ if discov]$2 & ?us ! :ole /ability ( t society dep5d$ ^u a c]ta9 secrecy4 ,! ma/]s 7 n dislik$ = f9d+ out ! infractions ( rules1 if only su* infractions 7 pat5t & obvi\s4 ,a ma/] :o look$ too closely into ?+s1 :o practis$ any sort ( espionage1 :o tri$ to extort confession1 0 disapprov$ ( z a m5ace1 & x 0 conv5i5t to label him a sneak & a spy1 & to say t he did n play ! game fair4 ,b all ?is 0 a m]e tradition4 ,boys d n reflect mu*1 or look into ! reasons ( ?+s4 ,x does n occur to !m to cr$it ma/]s ) ! motive ( wi%+ to protect !m aga9/ !mselves1 to m9imise temptation1 to %elt] !m f undesirable influ5ces2 t p]haps dawns on ! m9ds ( s5sible & high-m9d$ prefects1 b ! ord9>y boy j reg>ds ! ma/] z an oppos+ p[]1 :om he hoodw9ks if he c4 ,& !n ! boyi% ideal ( c\rage is a v incomplete "o4 ,he does n recognise x z c\rage if a s5sitive1 consci5ti\s1 & "r-m9d$ boy risks unpopul>ity by tell+ a ma/] ( "s evil practice :i* is spread+ 9 a s*ool4 ,he simply reg>ds x z a desire to m$dle1 a priggi% & pragmatical act1 & ev5 z a sneak+ desire to inflict puni%m5t by proxy4 ,c\rage1 = ! s*oolboy1 is m]ely physical c\rage1 aplomb1 boldness1 recklessness1 high-h&$ness4 ,! h]o ( s*ool life is "o l ,odysseus1 :o is /rong1 inv5tive1 d>+1 full ( res\rce4 ,! po9t is to come out on ! top4 ,odysseus yields to s5sual delight1 he is cruel1 v9dictive1 & incr$ibly deceitful4 ,x is evid5t t successful beguil+1 ! p[] ( tell+ an elaborate1 plausible1 & imp]turbable lie on occasions1 is an h]oic quality 9 ! ,odyssey4 ,odysseus is n a man :o scorns to deceive1 or :o w\ld r take ! consequ5ces ?an utt] a falsehood4 ,8 /r5g? r lies 9 8 p[]1 :5 at bay1 ( fla%+ into "s mon/r\s fiction1 dramatis+ ! situation1 play+ an adopt$ "p1 ) confid5ce & assurance4 ,"o sees traces ( ! same ?+ 9 ! ,bible4 ,! /ory ( ,jacob deceiv+ ,isaac1 & pret5d+ to be ,esau 9 ord] to secure a bless+ is n relat$ ) disapprobation4 ,jacob does n =feit 8 bless+ :5 8 deceit is discov]$4 ,! :ole incid5t is reg>d$ r z a ma/]-/roke ( cunn+ & inv5tiv5ess4 ,esau is angry n because ,jacob has employ$ su* trick]y1 b because he has succe$$ 9 supplant+ him4 ,i rememb]1 z a boy at ,eton1 see+ a sc5e :i* left a deep impression on me4 ,!re 0 a big unpleasant unscrupul\s boy ( great physical /r5g?1 :o 0 a not$ football play]4 ,he 0 extremely unpopul> 9 ! s*ool1 because he 0 rude1 sulky1 & ov]be>+1 & /ill m because he took unfair advantages 9 games4 ,!re 0 a hotly conte/$ h\se-mat*1 9 :i* he tri$ aga9 & aga9 to evade rules1 :ile he 0 = ev] appeal+ to ! umpires aga9/ violations ( rule by ! opposite side4 ,8 own h\se 0 ultimately victori\s1 b feel+ ran v high inde$1 because x 0 ?\ght t ! victory 0 unfairly won4 ,! cr[d ( boys :o _h be5 wat*+ ! mat* drift$ away 9 a /ate ( great exasp]ation1 & f9ally collect$ 9 front ( ! h\se ( ! unpopul> play]1 hiss$ & hoot$ him4 ,he took v little notice ( ! demon/ration & walk$ 91 :5 !re arose a babel ( h[ls4 ,he turn$ r\nd & came out aga91 fac+ ! cr[d4 ,i c see him n[1 all spla%$ & muddy1 ) 8 %irt op5 at ! neck4 ,he 0 pale1 ugly1 & s9i/]2 b he survey$ u all ) entire effront]y1 drew out a p9ce-nez1 be+ v %ort-sight$1 & !n look$ calmly r\nd z if surpris$4 ,i h c]ta9ly nev] se5 su* an exhibition ( c\rage 9 my life4 ,he knew t he _h n a s+le fri5d pres5t1 & he did n "k t he w\ld n be maltreat$--!re 7 indications ( a ru% be+ made4 ,he did n look 9 ! lea/ picturesque2 he 0 ugly1 sc[l+1 (f5sive4 ,b he did n c>e a rap1 & if he _h be5 attack$1 he w\ld h def5d$ himself ) a w4 ,x did n occur to me !n1 nor did x1 ,i ?9k1 occur to anyone else1 :at an amaz+ bit ( physical & moral c\rage x 04 ,no "o1 !n or aft]1 _h ! slighte/ feel+ ( admiration = 8 pluck4 ,did y ev] see su* a brute z ,p-- look$8 0 ! only sort ( comm5t made4 ,?is j s]ves to illu/rate my po9t1 t boys h no real disc]nm5t = :at is c\rage\s4 ,:at !y admire is a c]ta9 grace & _s1 & ! h]o is n "o :o con/ra9s himself to d an unpopul> ?+ f a s5se ( duty1 n ev5 ! boy :o1 be+ unpopul> l ,p--1 does a satanically brave ?+4 ,boys h no admiration = ! boy :o defies !m2 :at !y l to see is ! defiance ( a common foe4 ,!y admire gallant1 mode/1 spirit$1 picturesque behavi\r1 n ! dull & fai?ful ob$i5ce to ! s5se ( "r4 ,( c\rse ?+s h alt]$ = ! bett]4 ,ma/]s are no long] /]n1 sev]e1 abrupt1 =midable1 unreasonable4 ,!y "k t _m a boy1 :o w\ld be incl9$ on ! :ole to tell ! tru?1 c easily be fright5$ into tell+ a lie2 b !y h n yet contriv$ to put ! s5se ( hon\r among boys 9 ! "r proportion4 ,su* /ories z t ( ,george ,wa%+ton--:5 ! *ildr5 7 ask$ :o _h cut d[n ! apple-tree1 & he rose & said1 ,sir1 ,i _c tell a lie2 x 0 ,i :o did x ) my little hat*et--d n really take ! imag9ation ( boys captive4 ,h[ con/antly did wor?y prea*]s at ,eton tell ! /ory ( h[ ,bi%op ,selwyn1 z a boy1 rose & left ! room at a boat-supp] because an improp] song 0 sung6 ,t anecdote 0 reg>d$ ) undisguis$ amusem5t1 & x 0 simply ?\ght to be a piece ( priggi%ness4 ,i _c imag9e t any boy ev] he>d ! /ory & w5t away ) a gl[+ desire to d likewise4 ,! incid5t really belongs to ! doma9 ( mann]s r ?an to t ( morals4 ,! tru? is really t boys at s*ool h a code :i* resembles t ( ! old *ivalry4 ,! h]o may be s5sual1 unscrupul\s1 cruel1 selfi%1 indiff]5t to ! welf>e ( o!rs4 ,b if he be>s himself gallantly1 if he has a *>m ( look & mann]1 if he is a deft p]=m] 9 ! prescrib$ a?letics1 he is ! object ( pr(\nd & devot$ admiration4 ,x is really physical c\rage1 skill1 pr[ess1 p]sonal attractiv5ess :i* is envi$ & prais$4 ,a dull1 heavy1 pa9/ak+1 consci5ti\s boy ) a /urdy s5se ( duty may be respect$1 b he is n foll[$2 :ile ! imag9ative1 s5sitive1 n]v\s1 highly-/rung boy1 :o may h ! f9e/ qualities ( all )9 him1 is apt to be ! mo/ despis$4 ,su* a boy is (t5 no good at games1 because public p]=mance disconc]ts him2 he _c make a ready answ]1 he has no aplomb1 no *eek1 no sm>tness2 & he is consequ5tly ?\ght v little (4 ,to :at ext5t ?is sort ( in/9ctive pref]5ce c be alt]$1 ,i d n "k2 x c]ta9ly _c be alt]$ by s]mons1 & /ill less by edicts4 ,old ,dr4 ,keate said1 :5 he 0 address+ ! s*ool on ! subject ( fight+1 ,i mu/ say t ,i l to see a boy return a bl[6 ,x seems1 if "o consid]s x1 to be a curi\s ideal to />t life )1 consid]+ h[ little opportunity civilisation n[ gives = return+ bl[s6 ,boys 9 fact are /ill educat$ "u a sy/em :i* seems to anticipate a combative & di/urb$ sort ( life to foll[1 9 :i* /r5g? & agility1 viol5ce & physical activity1 w h a value4 ,yet1 z a matt] ( fact1 su* ?+s h v little sub/antial value 9 an ord9>y citiz5's life at all1 except 9 s f> z !y play _! "p 9 ! elaborate cult ( a?letic ex]cises1 ) :i* we beguile ! in/9ct :i* craves = manual toil4 ,all ! races1 & games1 & a?letics cultivat$ s assidu\sly at s*ool seem n[ to h v little aim 9 view4 ,x is n important = ord9>y life to be able to run a hundr$ y>ds1 or ev5 ?ree miles1 fa/] ?an ano!r man2 ! judgm5t1 ! quickness ( eye1 ! /r5g? & swiftness ( muscle ne$$ to make a man a good batsman 7 all well en\gh 9 days :5 a man's life might aft]w>ds dep5d on 8 use ( sword & battle-axe4 ,b n[ x only enables him to play games r long] ?an o!r p1 & to a c]ta9 ext5t m9i/]s to bodily heal?1 al?\gh ! /ati/ics ( r[+ w\ld seem cle>ly to prove t x is a pursuit :i* is r m apt to damage ! vitality ( /rong boys ?an to increase ! vitality ( weak ones4 ,s1 if we look facts fairly 9 ! face1 we see t mu* ( ! tra9+ ( s*ool life1 especially 9 ! direction ( a?letics1 is really little m ?an ! ma9t5ance ( a ?\ghtless old tradition1 & t x is all direct$ to increase our admiration ( pr[ess & grace & gallantry1 r ?an to =tify u 9 usefulness & manual skill & s\ndness ( body4 ,a boy at s*ool may be a skilful c>v] or c>p5t]2 he may h a real gift = eng9e]+ or me*anics2 he may ev5 be a good rid]1 a fir/-rate fi%]man1 an excell5t %ot4 ,he may h good intellectual abilities1 a /rong memory1 a p[] ( expression2 he may be a s\nd ma!matician1 a compet5t sci5ti/2 he may h all sorts ( excell5t moral qualities1 be reliable1 accurate1 tru?ful1 punctual1 duty-lov+2 he may 9 fact be equipp$ = life & citiz5%ip1 able to play 8 "p /urdily & manfully1 & to d ! _w good s]vice2 b yet he may nev] w9 ! smalle/ recognition or admiration 9 8 s*ool-days1 :ile all ! glory & hon\r & cr$it is /ill res]v$ = ! graceful1 attractive1 high-spirit$ a?lete1 :o may h no?+ else 9 ! backgr\nd4 ,t is c]ta9ly ! ideal ( ! boy1 & ! disconc]t+ ?+ is t x is also ! ideal1 practically if n !oretically1 ( ! p>5t & ! s*oolma/]4 ,! s*ool /ill res]ves all its be/ gifts1 its sun%9e & smiles1 = ! knightly & ! skilful2 x rew>ds all ! qualities t are _! own rew>d4 ,:y1 if x wi%es to get ! "r scale adopt$1 does x n rew>d ! ?+ :i* x pr(esses to uphold z its be/ result1 wor? ( "* namely8 ,x claims to be a tra9+-gr\nd = "* fir/1 b x does little to enc\rage secret & unobtrusive virtues4 ,t is1 x adds its prizes to ! ?+s :i* ! natural man values1 & x neglects to cr[n ! "o ?+ at :i* x pr(esses fir/ to aim4 ,9 do+ ?is x only endorses ! v]dict ( ! _w1 & :ile x praises moral ef=t1 x rew>ds success4 ,! issue ( all ?is is t ! sort ( c\rage :i* x en=ces is ess5tially a graceful & %[y sort ( c\rage1 a lively read9ess1 a high-he>t$ fe>lessness--s t timidity & sl[ness & diffid5ce & unread9ess become base & feeble qualities1 :5 !y are n ! ?+s ( :i* anyone ne$ be a%am$6 ,let me say !n t moral c\rage1 ! pati5t & unrecognis$ fac+ ( difficulties1 ! disreg>d ( popul> /&>ds1 solidity & /eadfa/ness ( purpose1 ! tranquil p]=mance ( tiresome & disagreeable duties1 homely p]sev]ance1 are n ! ?+s :i* are reg>d$ z supreme 9 ! ideal ( ! s*ool2 s t ! fe> :i* is ! %ad[ ( s5sitive & imag9ative natures is turn$ into ! wrong *annels1 & becomes a m]e dread ( do+ ! unpopul> & unimpressive ?+1 or a crav5 det]m9ation n to be f\nd out4 ,& ! dread ( be+ obscure & unacceptable is :at haunts ! m9ds ( boys br\ght up on ^! ambiti\s & competitive l9es1 r ?an ! fe> :i* is ! beg9n+ ( wisdom4 ,,viii ,,fe>s ,,( ,,y\? ,! fe>s ( y\? are z a rule j ! t]rors ( self-consci\sness & %yness4 ,!y are a v irrational ?+1 some?+ purely in/9ctive & ( old inh]itance4 ,h[ irrational !y are is be/ prov$ by ! fact t %yness is caus$ mo/ly by ! pres5ce ( /rang]s2 !re are _m "y p :o are ba%ful1 awkw>d1 & tongue-ti$ 9 ! pres5ce ( /rang]s1 ^: tremors :olly disappe> 9 ! family circle4 ,if ^! 7 rational fe>s1 !y might be caus$ by ! consci\sness ( ! inspection & possible disapproval ( ^? among :om "o lives1 & ^: annoyance & criticism might h unpleasant practical effects4 ,yet !y are caus$ (t5 by ! pres5ce ( ^? ^: disapproval is n ( ! smalle/ consequ5ce1 ^?1 9 fact1 :om "o is n likely to see aga94 ,"o mu/ look !n = ! cause ( ?is1 n 9 ! fact t "o's awkw>dness & ineffici5cy is likely to be blam$ by ^? ( "o's own circle1 b simply 9 ! t]ror ( ! unkn[n & ! unfamili>4 ,x is probably !re=e an old inh]it$ in/9ct1 com+ f a "t :5 ! sight ( a /rang] might conta9 9 x a m5ace ( "s ho/ile usage4 ,if "o que/ions a %y boy or girl z to :at x is !y are afraid ( 9 ! pres5ce ( /rang]s1 !y are q unable to answ]4 ,!y are n afraid ( any?+ t w be said or done2 & yet !y w h become int5sely consci\s ( _! own appe>ance & movem5ts & dress1 & w be q unable to comm& !mselves4 ,t x is a ?+ :i* c be easily cur$ is obvi\s f ! fact :i* ,i (t5 obs]v$ :5 ,i 0 a s*oolma/]1 t z a rule ! boys :o came f h\ses :]e !re 0 mu* ent]ta9+1 & a con/ant com+ & go+ ( gue/s1 v r>ely suff]$ f su* %yness4 ,!y _h got us$ to ! fact t /rang]s c\ld be dep5d$ ^u to be k9d & fri5dly1 & in/ead ( look+ ^u a new p]son z a possible foe1 !y reg>d$ him z a probable fri5d4 ,i (t5 ?9k t p>5ts d n take en\gh tr\ble 9 ?is respect to make *ildr5 us$ to /rang]s4 ,:at (t5 happ5s is t p>5ts are !mselves %y & emb>rass$ 9 ! pres5ce ( /rang]s1 & :5 !y notice t _! *ildr5 suff] f ! same awkw>dness1 !y criticise !m aft]w>ds1 p>tly because !y are vex$ at _! own clumsy p]=mance2 & ?us ! %yness is increas$1 because ! *ild1 9 addition to 8 s5se ( %yness be=e /rang]s1 has 9 ! backgr\nd ( 8 m9d ! feel+ t any mauvaise honte t he may display may he comm5t$ ^u aft]w>ds4 ,no exhibition ( %yness on ! "p ( a boy or girl %\ld ev] be adv]t$ ^u by p>5ts4 ,!y %\ld take = grant$ t no "o is ev] will+ly %y1 & t x is a mis]y :i* all w\ld avoid if !y c\ld4 ,x is ev5 bett] to all[ *ildr5 consid]able fre$om ( spee* ) /rang]s1 ?an to repress & sil5ce !m4 ,( c\rse imp]t95ce & unpleasant comm5ts1 su* z *ildr5 w sometimes make on ! appe>ance or mann]s ( /rang]s1 mu/ be *eck$1 b x %\ld be on ! gr\nds ( ! unpleasantness ( su* rem>ks1 & n on ! gr\nd ( =w>dness4 ,on ! o!r h&1 all attempts on ! "p ( a *ild to be fri5dly & c\rte\s to /rang]s %\ld be not$ & prais$2 a *ild %\ld be enc\rag$ to look ^u itself z an integral "p ( a circle1 & n z a sil5t & lumpi% auditor4 ,probably too !re are c]ta9 physical & psy*ological laws1 :i* we d n at all und]/&1 :i* acc\nt = ! curi\s subjective effects :i* c]ta9 p h at close qu>t]s2 !re is some?+ hypnotic & mesm]ic ab\t ! glance ( c]ta9 eyes2 & !re is 9 all probability a curi\s bl5d+ ( m5tal curr5ts 9 an assembly ( p1 :i* is n a m]e fancy1 b a v real physical fact4 ,p]sonalities radiate v real & unmi/akable influ5ces1 & probably ! und]curr5t ( ?\ght :i* happ5s to be 9 "o's m9d :5 "o is ) o!rs has an effect1 ev5 if "o says or does no?+ to indicate "o's preoccupation4 ,a c]ta9 am\nt ( ?is comes f an unconsci\s inf]5ce on ! "p ( ! recipi5ts4 ,we (t5 augur1 )\t any v def9ite rational process1 f ! facial expressions1 ge/ures1 movem5ts1 tones ( o!rs1 :at _! frame ( m9d is4 ,b ,i believe t !re is a great deal m ?an t4 ,we mu/ all "k t :5 we are ) fri5ds to ^: moods & emotions we are attun$1 !re takes place a s+ul> degree ( ?\ght-transf]5ce1 q ap>t f spee*4 ,i _h once a great fri5d ) :om ,i 0 accu/om$ to sp5d mu* "t tete-a-tete4 ,we us$ to travel toge!r & sp5d long p]iods1 day aft] day1 9 close conjunction1 (t5 inde$ %>+ ! same b$room4 ,x became a matt] at fir/ ( amusem5t & int]e/1 b aft]w>ds an accept$ fact1 t we c\ld (t5 realise1 ev5 aft] a long sil5ce1 9 :at direction ! o!r's ?\ght 0 travell+4 ,h[ did y guess ,i 0 ?9k+ ( t8 w\ld be ask$4 ,to :i* ! reply 01 ,i did n guess--,i knew4 ,on ! o!r h& ,i h an old & famili> fri5d1 :om ,i "k well & reg>d ) great affection1 b ^: pres5ce1 & p>ticul>ly a c]ta9 fixity ( glance1 (t51 ev5 n[1 causes me a curi\s subjective di/urbance :i* is n :olly pleasant1 a s5se ( "s odd psy*ical control :i* is n entirely agreeable4 ,i h ano!r fri5d :o is ! mo/ delightful & easy company 9 ! _w :5 we are1 alone toge!r2 b he is a s5sitive & highly-/rung creature1 mu* affect$ by p]sonal influ5ces1 & :5 ,i meet him 9 ! company ( o!r p he is (t5 almo/ unrecognisable4 ,8 m9d becomes critical1 combative1 acrid2 he does n say :at he means1 he is t\*$ by a vague excitem5t1 & !re passes ov] him an unnatural sort ( brilliance1 ( a h>d & futile k9d1 :i* makes him sacrifice consid]ation & fri5dl9ess to ! in/9ctive desire to produce an effect & to score a po9t4 ,i sometimes actually dete/ him :5 he is "o ( a circle4 ,i feel incl9$ to say to him1 ,if only y c\ld let y\r real self appe>1 & drop ?is tiresome po/ur+ & f5c+1 y w\ld be z delightful z y are to me :5 ,i am alone ) y2 b ?is hectic titt]+ & fev]i% jocosity is n only n y\r real self1 b x gives o!rs an impression ( a totally unreal & n v agreeable p]son4 ,b1 alas1 ?is is j ! sort ( ?+ "o _c say to a fri5d6 ,z "o goes on 9 life1 ?is t]rible & disconc]t+ %yness ( y\? disappe>s4 ,we beg9 to realise1 ) a :olesome loss ( vanity & conceit1 h[ v little p c>e or ev5 notice h[ we are dress$1 h[ we look1 :at we say4 ,we le>n t o!r p are z mu* preoccupi$ ) _! ?\ghts & fancies & reflections z we are ) our own4 ,we realise t if we are anxi\s to produce an agreeable impression1 we d s f> m by be+ int]e/$ & sympa!tic1 ?an by attempt+ a brilliance :i* we _c comm&4 ,we p]ceive t o!r p are n p>ticul>ly int]e/$ 9 our crude views1 nor v grateful = ! expression ( !m4 ,we acquire ! p[] ( comb9ation & co-op]ation1 9 los+ ! desire = spl5d\r & dom9ation4 ,we see t p value ease & security1 m ?an !y admire orig9ality & fanta/ic contradiction4 ,& s we come to ! bless$ "t :51 in/ead ( reflect+ aft] a social occasion :e!r we did ourselves ju/ice1 we beg9 to consid] r ! impression we h =m$ ( o!r p]sonalities4 ,i believe t we ought to h rec\rse to v homely rem$ies inde$ = combat+ %yness4 ,x is ( no use to try to console & di/ract ourselves ) l(ty ?\ghts1 & to try to keep et]nity & ! hopes ( man 9 m9d4 ,we s become only m self-consci\s & sup]ior ?an ev]4 ,! fact rema9s t ! %yness ( y\? causes agonies bo? ( anticipation & retrospect2 if "o really wi%es to get rid ( x1 ! only way is to det]m9e to get us$ someh[ to society1 & n to endeav\r to avoid x2 & z a practical rule to make up "o's m9d1 if possible1 to ask p que/ions1 r ?an to m$itate impressive answ]s4 ,ask+ o!r p que/ions ab\t ?+s to :i* !y are likely to "k ! answ]s is "o ( ! %orte/ cuts to popul>ity & e/eem4 ,x is wond]ful to reflect h[ mu* di/ress p]sonal ba%fulness causes p1 h[ mu* !y w\ld give to be rid ( x1 & yet h[ v little tr\ble !y ev] take to acquir+ any me?od ( deal+ ) ! difficulty4 ,i see a good deal ( und]graduates1 & am (t5 aw>e t !y are fri5dly & responsive1 b )\t any p[] ( giv+ expression to x4 ,i sometimes see !m suff]+ acutely f %yness be=e my eyes4 ,b a "y man :o c br+ himself to ask a p]fectly simple "q ab\t "s small matt] ( common int]e/ is comp>atively r>e2 & yet x is g5]ally ! simple/ way out ( ! difficulty4 ,,ix ,,fe>s ,,( ,,middle ,,age ,n[ ) all ! tremors1 reactions1 glooms1 %ad[s1 & despairs ( y\?--x is easy en\gh to =get !m1 b !y 7 !re--goes a p[] ( lift+ & light+ up 9 a mom5t at a *ord ( music1 a glance1 a ^w1 ! song ( a bird1 ! sc5t ( a fl[]1 a fly+ sunbur/1 :i* fills life up l a cup ) bubbl+ & sp>kl+ liquor4 ,my s\l1 be pati5t6 ,?\ %alt f9d ,a little matt] m5d all ?is6 ,& t is ! "p ( y\? :i* we rememb]1 till on look+ back x seems l a "t ( w&]+ ) l-he>t$ comrades d[n "s sweet-sc5t$ av5ue ( gold5 sun & gre5 %ade4 ,our memory plays u beautifully false--spl5dide m5dax--till "o wi%es sometimes t old & wise m51 retell+ ! /ory ( _! life1 c\ld recall = ! com=t ( y\? "s "p ( its languors & mis*ances1 its bitt] jeal\sies1 its int5se & poignant s5se ( failure4 ,& !n 9 a mom5t ! door ( life op5s4 ,"o day ,i 0 an irresponsible1 pleasure-lov+1 fanta/ic y\?1 & a week lat] ,i 01 or x seem$ to me t ,i 01 a pr(essional man ) all ! c>es ( a p$agogue ^u my back4 ,x fill$ me at fir/1 ,i rememb]1 ) a gleeful amazem5t1 to f9d myself 9 ! desk1 hold+ =?1 in/ead ( on ! =m li/5+4 ,x seem$ delici\s at fir/ to h ! p[] ( correct+ & sla%+ ex]cises1 & plac+ boys 9 ord]1 in/ead ( be+ correct$ & exam9$1 & compet+ = a place4 ,x 0 a solemn game at ! outset4 ,!n came ! o!r side ( ! picture4 ,"o's pupils 7 tr\blesome1 !y did badly 9 exam9ations1 !y fail$ unacc\ntably2 & "o _h a glimpse too ( "s ( ! trag$ies ( s*ool life4 ,almo/ ins5sibly ,i became aw>e t ,i _h a task to p]=m1 t my mi/akes involv$ boys 9 disa/]1 t ,i _h ! anxi\s c>e ( o!r de/9ies2 & ?us1 almo/ be=e ,i knew x1 came a new cl\d on ! horizon1 ! cl\d ( anxiety4 ,i c\ld n help see+ t ,i _h mismanag$ ?is boy & misdirect$ t2 t "o c\ld n treat !m z +5u\s & lively play?+s1 b t :at "o said & did set a m>k :i* p]haps c\ld n be effac$4 ,gradually o!r d\bts & problems made !mselves felt4 ,i _h to adm9i/] a sy/em ( education 9 :i* ,i did n :olly believe2 ,i saw little by little t ! rigid old sy/em ( education 0 a ma*9e :i*1 if x made a highly accompli%$ product out ( ! be/ mat]ial1 wa/$ an enorm\s am\nt ( boyi% int]e/ & livel9ess1 & /ultifi$ ! feebl] sort ( m9d4 ,!n came ! c>e ( a bo>d+-h\se1 close relations ) p>5ts1 a m real k ( ! inf9ite levity ( boy nature4 ,i became mix$ up ) ! politics ( ! place1 ! *ance ( m ambiti\s positions float$ be=e me2 ! ne$ = tact1 discretion1 judici\sness1 mod]ation1 tol]ance emphasiz$ itself4 ,i am "h outl9+ my own exp]i5ce1 b x is only "o ( _m simil> exp]i5ces4 ,i became a citiz5 )\t kn[+ x1 & my place 9 ! _w1 my /atus1 success1 all became def9ite ?+s :i* ,i _h to secure4 ,! c>es1 ! fe>s1 ! anxieties ( middle life lie = mo/ m5 & wom5 9 ?is region2 if p are heal?y & active1 !y g5]ally arrive at a consid]able degree ( equanimity2 !y d n anticipate evil1 & !y take ! problems ( life *e]fully en\gh z !y come2 b yet come !y d1 & too _m m5 & wom5 are tempt$ to ?r[ ov]bo>d scornfully & disda9fully ! dreams ( y\? z a luxury :i* !y _c af=d to indulge1 & to imm]se !mselves 9 practical c>es1 mon? aft] mon?1 ) p]haps ! hope ( a fairly c>eless & idle holiday at int]vals4 ,:at ,i ?9k t5ds to c\nt]act ?is = _m p is love & m>riage1 ! wond] & amazem5t ( hav+ *ildr5 ( _! own1 & all ! (fices ( t5d]ness t gr[ up naturally beside _! pa?4 ,b ?is aga9 br+s a :ole ho/ ( fe>s & anxieties z well--arrangem5ts1 ways & means1 h\sehold c>es1 illnesses1 ! homely /uff ( life1 mu* ( x enjoy$1 mu* ( x *e]fully borne1 & (t5 v bravely & gallantly endur$4 ,x is out ( ?is simple mat]ial t life has to be con/ruct$4 ,b !re is a tw(old dang] 9 all ?is4 ,!re is a dang] ( cynicism1 ! frame ( m9d 9 :i* a man comes to face little worries z "o might put up an umbrella 9 a %[]--,?\ "k'/ 'tis common6 ,out ( t gr[s up a rude dre>9ess1 a philosophy :i* has no?+ dignifi$ ab\t x1 b is m]ely a recognition ( ! fact t life is a poor affair1 & t "o _c hope to h ?+s to "o's m9d4 ,or !re is a dull frame ( m9d :i* implies a meek resignation1 a s5se ( disappo9tm5t ab\t life1 borne ) a m\rnful pati5ce1 a s5se ( "o's sph]e hav+ someh[ fall5 %ort ( "o's des]ts4 ,?is produces ! grumpy pat]familias :o dr[ses ov] a pap] or grumbles ov] a pipe2 su* a man is inimitably depict$ by ,mr4 ,wells 9 ,m>riage4 ,t sort ( ugly disillusionm5t1 t publicity ( disappo9tm5t1 t frank disreg>d ( all conc]ns except "o's own1 is "o ( ! mo/ hide\s features ( middle-class life1 & x is r *>act]i/ically ,engli%4 ,x sometimes conceals a robu/ good s5se & ev5 k9dl9ess2 b x is a base ?+ at be/1 & seems to be ! %ad[ ( comm]cial prosp]ity4 ,yet x at lea/ implies a c]ta9 /urd9ess ( "*1 & a /ubborn belief 9 "o's own m]its :i* is q imp]vi\s to ! lessons ( exp]i5ce4 ,on s5sitive & imag9ative p ! result ( ! pr(essional /ruggle ) life1 ! ess5ce ( :i* is (t5 social pret5ti\sness1 is diff]5t4 ,x ends 9 a m\rnful & di/ract$ k9d ( fatigue1 a tir$ sort ( padd+ along aft] life1 a timid bewild]m5t at conditions :i* "o _c alt]1 & :i* yet h no dignity or seeml9ess4 ,:at is !re t is wrong ) all ?is8 ,! cause is easy en\gh to analyse4 ,x is ! result ( a sy/em :i* develops conv5tional1 %ort-sight$1 complicat$ h\seholds1 av]se to ef=t1 fond ( pleasure1 & ) ta/es :i* are exp5sive )\t be+ ref9$4 ,! only cure w\ld seem to be t m5 & wom5 %\ld be born diff]5t1 ) simple active g5]\s natures2 x is easy to say t6 ,b ! wor/ ( ! situation is t ! sordid banality & ugly trag$y ( _! lot d n dawn on ! p conc]n$4 ,gre$y vanity 9 ! m robu/1 lack ( moral c\rage & firmness 9 ! m s5sitive1 ) a social organisation t aims at a surface dignity & a *eap %[9ess1 are ! +r$i5ts ( ?is devil's cauldron4 ,! wor/ ( x is t x has no f9e elem5ts at all4 ,!re is a nobility ab\t real trag$y :i* evokes a quality ( passionate & s9c]e emotion4 ,!re is some?+ ess5tially exalt$ ab\t a fi]ce resi/ance1 a desp]ate failure4 ,b ?is abject1 li/less dre>9ess1 :i* c h>dly be alt]$ or express$1 ?is mis]able float+ d[n ! muddy curr5t1 :]e !re is no %>p rep5tance or fi]y battl+1 no?+ b a mean ab&onm5t to a mean+less & un9telligible de/9y1 seems to h 9 x no se$ ( recov]y at all4 ,! d>k %ad[ ( pr(essional anxiety is t x has no tragic quality2 x is l pl\gh+ on day by day ?r\gh endless mud-flats4 ,"o does n feel1 9 ! pres5ce ( %>p suff]+ or bitt] loss1 t !y ought n to exi/4 ,!y are !re1 /]n1 implacable1 augu/2 /ately enemies1 great combatants4 ,!re is a significance ab\t _! v awfulness4 ,"o may fall be=e !m1 b !y pass l a great express tra91 ro>+1 fla%+1 ?+s delib]ately & int5tly design$2 b ^! dull failures :i* seem n ! outgr[? ( anyone's fi]ce long+ or wilful passion1 b ( ev]yone's laz9ess & gre$9ess & /upidity1 h[ is "o to face !m8 ,x is ! helpless dea? ( ! quagmire1 n ! dea? ( ! fight or ! m\nta9-top4 ,is !re1 we ask ourselves1 any?+ 9 ! m9d ( ,god :i* corresponds to com=t-lov+ vulg>ity1 if s /rong & yet s /agnant a /ream c ov]fl[ ! _w8 ,! b\rgeois ideal6 ,"o w\ld r h tyranny or savag]y ?an any?+ s gross & smug4 ,& yet we see high-spirit$ & ard5t husb&s drawn into ?is by ob/9ate & vulg>-m9d$ wives4 ,we see f9e-natur$ & s5sitive wom5 engulf$ 9 x by selfi% & ambiti\s husb&s4 ,! t5d5cy is awfully & horribly /rong1 & x w9s1 n by op5 combat1 b by secret & dull p]si/5ce4 ,& "o sees too--,i h se5 x _m times--*ildr5 ( delicate & eag] natures1 :o w\ld h fl\ri%$ & exp&$ 9 m g5]\s air1 become conv5tional & commonplace & petty1 conc]n$ ab\t kn[+ ! "r p & do+ ! "r ?+s1 & mak+ ! same /upid & paltry %[1 :i* deceives no "o4 ,!re is no?+ = x b indep5d5ce & simplicity &1 p]haps be/ ( all1 a love ( beauty4 ,william ,morris ass]t$ passionately en\gh t art 0 ! only cure = all ?is dre>9ess--! love ( beautiful s\nds & sights & words2 & ,i ?9k t is true1 if x be fur!r ext5d$ to a p]ception ( ! quality ( beauty 9 ! conduct & relations ( life4 ,= ^? are ! *eap & reasonable pleasures ( life1 accessible to all2 & if m5 & wom5 c>$ = "w fir/ & ! dec5t simplicities ( :olesome liv+1 & c\ld fur!r f9d _! pleasure 9 art1 9 :atev] =m1 !n ,i believe t _m ( ^! fe>s & anxieties1 s maim+ & impair+ to all t is f9e 9 life1 w\ld vani% quietly out ( be+4 ,! ?+ seems bo? beautiful & possible1 because "o kn[s ( h\seholds :]e x is s1 & :]e x gr[s up naturally & easily en\gh4 ,i "k h\seholds ( bo? k9ds--:]e on ! "o h& ! /&>d is ambiti\s & mean1 :]e ! inmates calculate ev]y?+ ) a view to success1 or r to produc+ an impression ( success2 & !re all talk & int]c\rse is an unreal ?+1 n ! outfl[ ( natural int]e/s & pleasant ta/es1 b a %am culture & a ref9em5t t is only pursu$ because x is ! "r sort ( surface to pres5t to ! _w4 ,"o submits to x ) bor$om1 "o leaves x ) relief4 ,!y h got ! "r p toge!r1 !y h %[n t !y c comm& _! att5dance2 x is all c]emony & wa/e4 ,& !n ,i "k h\seholds :]e "o sees 9 ! books1 ! pictures1 ! glances1 ! ge/ures1 ! movem5ts ( ! inmates1 a sort ( grace & delicacy :i* comes ( really c>+ ab\t ?+s t are beautiful & f9e4 ,s9c]e ?+s are simply said1 hum\r bubbles up & breaks 9 laught]2 "o feels t light is ?r[n on a hundr$ topics & facts & p]sonalities4 ,! :ole ( life !n becomes a g>d5 teem+ ) /range & wond]ful secrets1 & influ5ces t fla% & radiate1 pass+ on into "s my/]i\s & fragrant gloom4 ,ev]y?+ !re seems *>g$ ) significance & *>m2 !re are no pret5ces--!re are pref]5ces1 prejudices if y w2 b !re is tol]ance & sympa?y1 & a desire to see ! po9t ( view ( o!rs4 ,! effect ( su* an atmosph]e is to set "o wond]+ h[ "o has contriv$ to miss ! s5se ( s mu* t is beautiful & int]e/+ 9 life1 & s5ds "o away long+ to p]ceive m1 & det]m9$ if possible to int]pret life m truly & m graci\sly4 ,x ,,fe>s ,,( ,,age ,& !n age creeps on2 & t br+s fe>s ( its own1 & fe>s t are all ! m intol]able because !y are n def9ite fe>s at all1 m]ely a loss ( n]v\s vig\r1 :i* atta*es itself to ! mo/ trivial detail & magnifies x into an insup]able difficulty4 ,a fri5d ( m9e :o 0 gr[+ old once confid$ to me t =eign travel1 :i* us$ to be su* a delight to him1 0 n[ gett+ burd5some4 ,x is all "r :5 ,i h once />t$1 he said1 b = days be=e ,i am ! prey ( all k9ds ( appreh5sions4 ,:at sort ( appreh5sions8 ,i said4 ,he laugh$1 & repli$1 ,well1 x is almo/ too absurd to m5tion1 b ,i f9d myself oppress$ ) anxiety = weeks be=eh& z to :e!r1 :5 we get to ,calais1 we %all f9d places 9 ! tra94 ,& ,i rememb]1 too1 h[ a woman fri5d ( m9e once told me t %e call$ at ! h\se ( an eld]ly c\ple 9 ,london1 p ( rank & weal?4 ,_! daught] met h] 9 ! draw+-room & said1 ,i am glad y are come--y may be able to *e] my "m up4 ,we are go+ d[n to-morr[ to our place 9 ! c\ntry2 ! s]vants & ! luggage w5t ?is morn+1 & my "m & fa!r are to drive d[n ?is aft]noon--my "m is v l[ ab\t x4 ,:at is ! matt]8 said my fri5d4 ,! daught] repli$1 ,%e is afraid t !y w n get !re 9 "t6 ,9 "t = :at8 said my fri5d1 ?9k+ t !re 0 "s important engagem5t4 ,9 "t = tea6 said ! daught] gravely4 ,x is all v well to laugh at su* fe>s1 b !y are n natural fe>s at all1 !y j indicate a l[ vitality2 !y are ! symptoms & n ! causes ( a disease4 ,x is ! frame ( m9d ( ! slugg>d 9 ! ,bible :o says1 ,!re is a lion 9 ! way4 ,y\ng] p are apt to be irritat$ by :at seems a wilful creat+ ( appreh5sions4 ,!y ought r to be pati5t & reassur+1 & compassionate to ! weakness ( n]ve = :i* x /&s4 ,) su* fe>s z ^! may be class$ all ! unreal b none ! less di/ress+ fe>s ab\t heal? :i* beset p all _! lives1 9 "s cases2 x is extremely annoy+ to heal?y p to f9d a man r$uc$ to depression & sil5ce at ! possibility ( tak+ cold1 or at ! fe> ( hav+ eat5 some?+ un:olesome4 ,i rememb] an eld]ly g5tleman :o _h liv$ a vigor\s & unselfi% life1 & 0 inde$ a man ( =ce & "*1 ^: activity 0 entirely susp5d$ 9 lat] ye>s by 8 fe> ( cat*+ cold or ( ov]-tir+ himself4 ,he 0 a c\ntry cl]gyman1 & us$ to sp5d ! :ole ( ,sunday betwe5 8 s]vices1 9 solit>y seclusion1 re/+1 & retire to b$ ! mom5t ! ev5+ s]vice 0 ov]2 moreov] 8 dread ( tak+ cold 0 su* t he inv>iably wore a hat 9 ! w9t] mon?s to g f ! draw+-room to ! d9+-room = d9n]1 ev5 if !re 7 gue/s 9 8 h\se4 ,he us$ to je/ ab\t x1 & say t x no d\bt mu/ look curi\s2 b he add$ t he _h f\nd x a wise precaution1 & t we _h no idea h[ disabl+ 8 colds 74 ,ev5 a v heal?y fri5d ( my own /&+ has told me t if he ev] lies awake at night he is apt to exagg]ate ! smalle/ & mo/ trifl+ s5se ( discom=t into ! symptom ( "s dang]\s disease4 ,let me quote ! well-kn[n case ( ,hans ,&]s51 ^: imag9ation 0 morbidly /rong4 ,he f\nd "o morn+ :5 he awoke t he _h a small pimple "u 8 left eyebr[4 ,he reflect$ ) di/ress ^u ! circum/ance1 & soon came to ! rueful conclusion t ! pimple w\ld probably increase 9 size1 & deprive him ( ! sight ( 8 left eye4 ,a fri5d call+ ^u him 9 ! c\rse ( ! morn+ f\nd him writ+1 9 a mood ( solemn resignation1 ) "o h& ov] ! eye 9 "q1 practis+1 z he said1 h[ to read & write ) ! only eye t w\ld soon be left him4 ,"o's fir/ impulse is to treat ^! self-inflict$ suff]+s z ridicul\s & almo/ idiotic4 ,b !y are q apt to beset p ( effectiv5ess & ability4 ,to call !m irrational does n cure !m1 because !y lie deep] ?an any rational process1 & are 9 fact ! sup]ficial symptoms ( "s deep-seat$ weakness ( n]ve1 :ile _! v absurdity1 & ! fact t ! m9d _c ?r[ !m (f1 only proves h[ /rong !y are4 ,!y are 9 fact signs ( "s pr(\nd uneas9ess ( m9d2 & ! rational bra9 ( su* p1 ca/+ ab\t = "s reason to expla9 ! fe> ) :i* !y are haunt$1 fixes on "s detail :i* is n wor?y ( s]i\s notice4 ,x is ( c\rse a species ( local insanity & monomania1 b x does n imply any g5]al obscuration ( faculties at all4 ,"s ( ! mo/ intellectual p are mo/ at ! m]cy ( su* trials1 & inde$ !y are r *>act]i/ic ( m5 & wom5 ^: bra9 is apt to "w at high pressure4 ,"o recollects 9 ! life ( ,%elley1 h[ he us$ to be haunt$ by ^! insupportable fe>s4 ,he 0 at "o "t p]suad$ t he _h contract$ leprosy1 & he us$ to disconc]t 8 acqua9tances by exam9+ solicit\sly _! wri/s & necks to see if he c\ld detect symptoms ( ! same disease4 ,!re is v little d\bt t z m$ical k progresses we %all "k m ab\t ! cause ( su* halluc9ations4 ,to call !m unreal is m]e /upidity4 ,s5sible p :o suff] f !m are (t5 p]fectly well aw>e ( _! unreality1 & are pr(\ndly humiliat$ by !m4 ,!y are "s disease or weakness ( ! imag9ative faculty2 & a fri5d ( m9e :o suff]$ f su* ?+s told me t x 0 extraord9>y to him to p]ceive ! incr$ible +5uity ) :i* 8 bra9 "u su* circum/ances us$ to f9d confirmation = 8 fe>s f all sorts ( trivial incid5ts :i* at o!r times pass$ q unnotic$4 ,x is g5]ally q useless to ?9k ( remov+ ! fe> by combat+ ! p>ticul> fancy2 ! affect$ c5tre1 :atev] x is1 only turns fev]i%ly to "s o!r simil> anxiety4 ,occupation ( a quiet k9d1 ex]cise1 re/1 are ! be/ m$ic9e4 ,sometimes ^! anxieties take a diff]5t =m1 & betray !mselves by suspicion ( o!r p's conduct & motives4 ,t is ( c\rse alli$ to insanity4 ,9 sane & s\nd heal? we realise t we are n1 z a rule1 ! objects ( ! malignity & spitefulness ( o!rs4 ,we are p]haps ob/acles to ! c>ry+ out ( o!r p's plans2 b m5 & wom5 z a rule m9d _! own bus9ess1 & are n mu* conc]n$ to int]v5e 9 ! designs & activities ( o!rs4 ,yet a man ^: m5tal equilibrium is un/able is apt to ?9k t if he is disappo9t$ or ?w>t$ x is ! result ( a delib]ate conspiracy on ! "p ( o!r p4 ,if he is a writ]1 he ?9ks t o!r writ]s are aw>e ( 8 m]its1 b are det]m9$ to prev5t !m be+ recognis$ out ( %e] ill-w4 ,a man 9 robu/ heal? realises t he gets q z mu* cr$it or ev5 m cr$it ?an he des]ves1 & t 8 claims to att5tion are g5]\sly recognis$2 "o has exactly z mu* influ5ce & weight z "o c get1 & o!r p z a rule are mu* too mu* occupi$ 9 _! own conc]ns to h ei!r ! "t or ! incl9ation to int]f]e4 ,b z a man gr[s old]1 z 8 "w /iff5s & weak5s1 he falls out ( ! race1 & he mu/ be cont5t to d s2 & he is well advis$ if he puts 8 failure d[n to 8 own defici5cies1 & n to ! malice ( o!rs4 ,! _w is really v mu* on ! look out = any?+ :i* amuses1 delights1 impresses1 moves1 or helps x2 x is quick & g5]\s 9 recognition ( orig9ality & =ce2 & if a writ]1 z he gets old]1 f9ds 8 books neglect$ & 8 op9ions disda9$1 he may be fairly sure t he has said 8 say1 & t m5 are preoccupi$ ) new ideas & new p]sonalities4 ,( c\rse ?is is a melan*oly & disconc]t+ bus9ess1 especially if "o has be5 m conc]n$ ) p]sonal prom95ce ?an ) ! wor? & weight ( "o's ideas2 mortifi$ vanity is a sore trial4 ,i rememb] once meet+ an old au?or :o1 "s ?irty ye>s be=e ! date at :i* ,i met him1 _h produc$ a book :i* attract$ an extraord9>y am\nt ( att5tion1 ?\gh x has long s9ce be5 =gott54 ,! old man _h all ! airs ( solemn greatness1 & ,i h seldom se5 a m rueful spectacle ?an :5 a "y & ris+ au?or 0 introduc$ to him1 & :5 x became obvi\s t ! "y man _h n only nev] he>d ( ! old writ]1 b did n "k ! "n ( 8 book4 ,! "q is :at we c d to avoid fall+ "u ! dom9ion ( ^! uncanny fe>s & fancies1 z we fall f middle age to age4 ,a dre>y1 dispirit$1 unhappy1 peevi% old man or old woman is a v mis]able spectacle2 :ile1 at ! same "t1 g5]\s1 c\rte\s1 pati5t1 mode/1 t5d] old age is "o ( ! mo/ beautiful ?+s 9 ! _w4 ,we may ( c\rse resolve n to c>ry our dre>9ess into all circles1 & if we f9d life a poor & deject$ bus9ess1 we c det]m9e t we w n enl>ge ^u ! !me4 ,b ! wor/ ( disc\ragem5t is t x removes ev5 ! desire to play a "p1 or to make ! mo/ & be/ ( ourselves4 ,l ,mrs4 ,gummidge 9 ,david ,copp]field1 if we are rem9d$ t o!r p h _! tr\bles1 we are apt to reply t we feel !m m4 ,"o does n desire t p %\ld unduly indulge !mselves 9 self-dramatisation4 ,!re is some?+ v repugnant 9 an eld]ly p]son :o is b5t on prov+ 8 importance & dignity1 9 lay+ claim to =ce & influ5ce1 9 affect+ to play a l>ge "p 9 ! _w4 ,b !re is some?+ ev5 m afflict+ 9 ! p :o drop all dec5t pret5ce ( dignity1 & p\r ! product ( an acrid & disappo9t$ _s into all conv]sations4 ,age c e/abli% itself v firmly 9 ! he>ts ( its circle1 if x is k9d1 sympa!tic1 appreciative1 ready to receive confid5ces1 will+ to enc\rage ! fitful despond5cies ( y\?4 ,b "h aga9 we are met by ! p]5nial difficulty z to h[ f> we c =ce ourselves to d ?+s :i* we d n really want to d1 & h[ f> aga91 if we succe$ 9 =c+ ourselves into action1 we c give any acc5t ( s9c]ity & g5u95ess to our comm5ts & que/ions4 ,9 ?is p>ticul> matt]1 t ( sympa?y1 a v little ef=t does und\bt$ly g a long way1 because !re are a great _m p 9 ! _w eag]ly on ! look out = any sign ( sympa?y1 & n apt to scrut9ise too closely ! "* ( ! sympa?y (f]$4 ,& ! be/ "p ( hav+ once =c$ oneself to exhibit sympa?y1 at :atev] co/ ( /ra9 & ef=t1 is t "o is at lea/ a%am$ to )draw x4 ,i rememb] a fooli% woman :o 0 v anxi\s to reta9 ! hold ^u ! active _w :i* %e _h once possess$4 ,%e v seldom spoke ( any subject b h]self1 h] p]=mances1 h] activities1 ! pressure ( ! claims :i* %e 0 =c$ to try to satisfy4 ,i c recall h] n[1 ) h] sangu9e complexion1 h] high voice1 h] anxi\s & re/less eye w&]+ 9 se>* ( admiration4 ,! day's po/6 %e cri$1 t is "o ( my wor/ trials--s _m duties to fulfil1 s _m reque/s = help1 s _m irresi/ible claims come be=e me 9 ! pile ( lett]s--t high1 indicat+ ab\t a foot & a half ( l9e> measurem5t above ! table4 ,x is ! same /ory e day--a score ( p br++ _! little mugs ( egotism to be fill$ at my pump ( sympa?y6 ,x 0 a ridicul\s exhibition1 because "o 0 practically sure t !re 0 no?+ ( ! k9d go+ on4 ,"o 0 incl9$ to believe t !y 7 mugs ( sympa?y fill$ at ! pump ( egotism6 ,b if ! ?+ 7 really be+ done1 x 0 c]ta9ly wor? do+6 ,"o ( ! causes ( ! failure ( n]ve-=ce 9 age1 :i* lies beh9d s mu* ( ^! mis]ies1 is t p :o h liv$ at all active lives _c br+ !mselves to realise _! loss ( vig\r1 & try to prolong ! natural en]gies ( middle age into ! twilight ( eld]l9ess4 ,m5 & wom5 cl+ to activities1 n because !y enjoy !m1 b to delude !mselves into believ+ t !y are /ill "y4 ,t t]rible inability to resign positions1 ! duties ( :i* "o _c adequately fulfil1 :i* seems s disgraceful & unconsci5ti\s a h&l+ ( life to ! "y1 is (t5 a pa!tic cl++ to y\?4 ,su* vet]ans d n reflect t ! only effect ( su* t5acity is p>tly t o!r p d _! "w1 & p>tly also t ! critic obs]ves t if a po/ c be adequately fill$ by s old a man x is a pro( t su* a po/ ought n to exi/4 ,! t5d5cy ought to be met z f> z possible by fix+ age-limits to all positions4 ,because ev5 if ! old & we>y d consult _! fri5ds z to ! advisability ( retirem5t1 x is v h>d = ! fri5ds cordially to recomm5d x4 ,a public man once told me t a v ag$ (ficial consult$ him z to ! propriety ( resignation4 ,he said 9 8 reply some?+ complim5t>y ab\t ! value ( ! vet]an's s]vices4 ,:]eupon ! old man repli$ t z he set s high an e/imation ^u 8 "w1 he w\ld endeav\r to hold on a little long]6 ,! consci5ti\s ?+ to d1 z we get old] & f9d ourselves sl[]1 m timid1 m inactive1 m anxi\s1 is to consult a c&id fri5d1 & to foll[ 8 advice r ?an our own incl9ation2 a c]ta9 fe>fulness1 an avoidance ( unpleasant duty1 a dre>y =ebod+1 is apt to be *>act]i/ic ( age4 ,b we mu/ meet x philosophically4 ,we mu/ reflect t we h done our "w1 & t an attempt to galvanise ourselves into activity is sure to result 9 depression4 ,s we mu/ cond5se our en]gies1 be cont5t to play a little1 to dr[se a little1 to wat* ) int]e/ ! game ( life 9 :i* we _c take a h&1 until dea? falls z naturally ^u our we>i$ eyes z sleep falls ^u ! eyes ( a *ild tir$ ) a long summ] day ( eag] pleasure & delight4 ,b !re is "o practical c\nsel t may "h be giv5 to all :o f9d a t5d5cy to dread & anxiety creep+ ^u !m z life advances4 ,i h kn[n v truly & deeply religi\s p :o h be5 ?us beset1 & :o make _! fe>s ! subject ( e>ne/ pray]1 ask+ t ?is p>ticul> t]ror may be sp>$ !m1 t ?is cup may be )drawn f _! %udd]+ lips4 ,i d n believe t ?is is ! "r way ( meet+ ! situation4 ,"o may pray z :ole-he>t$ly z "o w aga9/ ! t5d5cy to fe>2 b x is a great help to realise t ! v exp]i5ces :i* seem n[ s ov]:elm+ _h little or no effect ^u "o 9 y\?ful & high-he>t$ days4 ,x is n really t ! quality ( ev5ts alt]2 x is m]ely t "o is los+ vitality1 & p>t+ ) ! irresponsible hopefulness t did n all[ "o to brood1 simply because !re 7 s _m o!r int]e/+ & delightful ?+s go+ on4 ,"o mu/ attack ! disease1 = x is a disease1 at ! root2 & x is ( little use to %r9k timidly f ! p>ticul> evil1 because :5 x is gone1 ano!r w take its place4 ,we may pray = c\rage1 b we mu/ practise x2 & ! be/ way ( meet+ p>ticul> fe>s is to cultivate int]e/s1 di/ractions1 amusem5ts1 :i* may s]ve to dispel !m4 ,we _c beg9 to d t :ile we are "u ! dom9ion ( a p>ticul> fe>1 = ! /r5g? ( fe> lies 9 its dom9at+ & nauseat+ quality1 s t x gives u a dre>y disreli% = life2 b if we really wi% to combat x1 we mu/ bew>e ( inactivity2 x may be com=table1 z life goes on1 to cultivate a habit ( mild contemplation1 b x is ?is v habit ( m9d :i* pr$isposes u to anxiety :5 anxiety comes4 ,dr4 ,johnson po9t$ out h[ comp>atively r>e x 0 = p :o _h manual lab\r to p]=m1 & ^: "w lay 9 ! op5 air1 to suff] f hypo*ondriacal t]rors4 ,! tru? is t we are made = lab\r1 & we h by no means got rid ( ! necessity = x4 ,we h to pay a price = ! com=ts ( civilisation1 & above all = ! pleasures ( inactivity4 ,x is a/oni%+ h[ quickly a def9ite task :i* "o has to p]=m1 :e!r "o likes x or n1 draws (f a cl\d ( anxiety f "o's _s4 ,i am myself liable to attacks ( depression1 n causeless depression1 b a despond5t exagg]ation ( small tr\bles4 ,yet 9 times ( full "w1 :5 meet+s h to be att5d$1 pap]s tackl$1 engagem5ts kept1 ,i seldom f9d myself suff]+ f vague anxieties4 ,x is simply a/oni%+ t "o _c le>n m common s5se6 ,i suppose t all p ( anxi\s m9ds t5d to f9d ! wak+ h\r a try+ "o4 ,! m9d1 refre%$ by sleep1 turns sorr[fully to ! task ( survey+ ! difficulties :i* lie be=e x4 ,& yet a hundr$ times h ,i discov]$ t life1 :i* seem$ at dawn no?+ b a tangle ( intol]able problems1 has become at noon a v be>able & ev5 int]e/+ affair2 & "o %\ld ?us le>n to appreciate ! tonic value ( occupation1 & set oneself to disc]n "s pursuit1 if we h no compulsory duties1 :i* may set ! holy mill revolv+1 z ,dante says2 = x is ! homely grumble ( ! ge> :i* di/racts u f ! o!r sort ( grumbl+1 ! self-pity+ frame ( m9d1 :i* is ! mo/ f]tile se$-plot ( fe>4 ,h[ happy ,i 0 long ago2 h[ little ,i guess$ my happ9ess2 h[ little ,i knew all t lay be=e me2 h[ sadly & /rangely afflict$ ,i am6 ,^! are ! :isp]s ( ! evil demon ( fe>fulness2 & !y c only be *eck$ by ! murmur ( :olesome & homely voices4 ,! old motto says1 ,or>e e/ labor>e1 pray] is "w--& x is no less true t labor>e e/ or>e1 "w is pray]4 ,! tru? is t we _c d )\t bo?2 & :5 we h pray$ = c\rage1 & tri$ to rejoice 9 our b$s1 z ! sa9ts :o are joyful 9 glory d1 we _h bett] sp5d no "t 9 begg+ t money may be s5t u to meet our p>ticul> ne$1 or t heal? may return to u1 or t ?is & t p]son may behave m k9dly & consid]ately1 b g our way to "s p]fectly commonplace bit ( "w1 d x z ?or\ghly z we c1 & simply turn our back ^u ! hobgobl9 ^: grimaces fill u ) su* uneas9ess4 ,he melts away 9 ! bless$ daylight ov] ! volume or ! acc\nt-book1 9 ! simple talk ab\t arrangem5ts or affairs1 & above all p]haps 9 try+ to dis5tangle & relieve ano!r's tr\bles & anxieties4 ,we _c get rid ( fe> by drugs or *>ms2 we h to turn to ! "w :i* is ! appo9t$ solace ( man1 & :i* is ! rew>d r ?an ! p5alty ( life4 ,,xi ,,dr4 ,,johnson ,!re is "o great & notable in/ance 9 our annals :i* ought once & = all to dispose ( ! idea t !re is any?+ weak or unmanly 9 f9d+ fe> a con/ant temptation1 & t is ! case ( ,dr4 ,johnson4 ,dr4 ,johnson holds 8 supreme /ation z ! figure p> excell5ce ( ,engli% life = a numb] ( reasons4 ,8 robu/ness1 8 wit1 8 rev]5ce = e/abli%$ ?+s1 8 secret piety are all contributory causes2 b ! *ief ( all causes is t ! proportion 9 :i* ^! ?+s 7 mix$ is cong5ial to ! ,briti% m9d4 ,! ,engli%man likes a man :o is deeply s]i\s )\t be+ 9 ! lea/ a prig2 a man :o is t5d]-he>t$ )\t be+ s5tim5tal2 he likes a r combative nature1 & enjoys rep>tee m ?an he enjoys hum\r4 ,! ,engli%man values good s5se above almo/ all qualities2 by a s5sible man he means a man ) a cle> judgm5t ( "r & wrong1 a man :o is n tak5 9 by pret5ces nor gull$ by rhetoric2 a man :o c in/9ctively see :at is important & :at is unimportant4 ,b ( c\rse ! *ief ext]nal reason1 ap>t f ! "* ( ,johnson himself1 = 8 supremacy ( fame1 is t 8 memory is en%r9$ 9 an incomp>able biography4 ,x %[s ! /range ineptness ( ,engli%m5 = lit]>y & arti/ic criticism1 _! incapacity = judg+ a "w ( art on its own m]its1 _! s+ul> habit ( all[+ _! disapprobation ( a man's private "* to depreciate 8 "w1 t an ackn[l$g$ critic l ,macaulay c\ld wa/e "t 9 c>efully consid]+ :e!r ,boswell 0 m fool or m knave1 & triumphantly ann\nce t he produc$ a good book by accid5t4 ,probably ,boswell did n realise h[ mat*less a biograph] he 01 ?\gh he 0 n dispos$ to belittle 8 own p]=mances4 ,b 8 unbridl$ int]e/ 9 ! smalle/ details1 8 p[] ( h]o-wor%ip1 8 amaz+ /yle1 8 p]ception1 8 a/oni%+ memory & ! tra9+ he gave x1 8 sup]b dramatic faculty1 :i* enabl$ him to arrange 8 o!r *>act]s ar\nd ! ma9 figure1 & to subord9ate !m all to 8 c5tral emphasis--all ^! qualities are und5iable4 ,moreov] he 0 himself ! mo/ p]fect foil & contra/ to ,johnson t c\ld be imag9$1 :ile he possess$ 9 a unique degree ! p[] ( bo? /imulat+ & provok+ 8 h]o to animation & to wra?4 ,boswell may n h kn[n :at an arti/ he 01 b he is probably "o ( ! be/ lit]>y arti/s :o has ev] liv$4 ,b ! supreme quality ( 8 great book is ?is--t 8 int]e/ 9 e trait ( 8 h]o1 l>ge & small1 is s /rong t he _h none ( t /iff propriety or *illy res]ve :i* m>s almo/ all ,engli% biographies4 ,he did n c>e a /raw :e!r ?is *>act]i/ic or t w\ld r$\nd to ,johnson's cr$it4 ,he saw t ,johnson 0 a l>ge-m9d$1 l>ge-he>t$ man1 ) an a/oni%+ p[] ( conv]sational expression1 & an extremely picturesque figure z well4 ,he p]ceiv$ t he 0 big en\gh to be describ$ 9 full1 & t ! %ad[s ( 8 temp]am5t only br\ght out ! f9] features into prom95ce4 ,s9ce ! days ( ,johnson !re are b two ,engli%m5 ^: lives we "k 9 any?+ l ! same detail--,rusk9 & ,c>lyle4 ,we "k ! life ( ,rusk9 ma9ly f 8 own p[] ( impassion$ autobiography1 & because he _h ! same sort ( p[] ( exhibit+ bo? 8 *>m & 8 weakness z ,boswell _h 9 deal+ ) ,johnson4 ,b ,rusk9 0 n at all a typical ,engli%man2 he _h a v fem99e side to 8 "*1 & ?\gh he 0 sav$ f s5tim5tality by 8 extreme tr5*ancy1 & by 8 irritable temp]1 yet 8 :ole temp]am5t is beautiful1 w9n+1 attractive1 r ?an sali5t & picturesque4 ,he _h ! qualities ( a poet1 a quixotic ideal1 & an exub]ant fancy2 b ?\gh 8 spell ov] ^? :o und]/& him is an almo/ magical "o1 8 po9t ( view is b\nd to be misund]/ood by ! ord9>y man4 ,c>lyle's case is a diff]5t "o aga94 ,!re ! evid5ce is ma9ly docum5t>y4 ,we "k m ab\t ! ,c>lyle int]ior ?an we "k ( ! hi/ory ( any m>ri$ pair s9ce ! _w began4 ,!re is little d\bt t if ,c>lyle c\ld h _h a ,boswell1 a biograph] :o c\ld h r5d]$ ! effect ( 8 spl5did p[] ( conv]sation1 we might h _h a book :i* c\ld h be5 put on ! same level z ! life ( ,johnson1 because ,c>lyle aga9 0 pre-em95tly a figure1 a man made by nature to hold ! enraptur$ att5tion ( a circle4 ,b x w\ld h be5 a mu* m difficult task to repres5t ,c>lyle's talk ?an x 0 to repres5t ,johnson's1 because ,c>lyle 0 an inspir$ soliloqui/1 & suppli$ bo? objection & rep>tee out ( 8 own m9d4 ,i ?9k x probable t ,c>lyle 0 a typical ,scot*man2 he 0 m impassion$ 9 8 s]i\sness ?an ,johnson1 b he _h a grimness :i* ,johnson did n possess1 & he _h n ,johnson's good-natur$ tol]ance = fooli% & well-mean+ p4 ,c>lyle himself _h a good deal ( ,boswell's own gift1 a p[] ( m9ute & fai?ful obs]vation1 & a memory :i* treasur$ & reproduc$ *>act]i/ic details4 ,if ,c>lyle _h ev] _h ! "t or ! ta/e to admire any human be+ z ,boswell admir$ ,johnson1 he might h produc$ fully z great a book2 b ,c>lyle _h a prophetic impulse1 an in/9ct = inv]t+ tubs & prea*+ f !m1 a desire = tell+ ! :ole human race :at to d & h[ to d x1 :i* ,johnson 0 too mode/ to claim4 ,!re is b "o o!r in/ance t ,i "k 9 ,engli% lit]ature ( a man :o _h ! ,boswellian gift to ! full1 b :o nev] _h complete scope1 & t 0 ,hogg4 ,if ,hogg c\ld h sp5t m ( 8 life ) ,%elley1 & _h be5 all[$ to complete 8 book1 we might1 ,i believe1 h _h a monum5t ( ! same k9d4 ,b 9 ! case ( ,boswell & ,johnson1 x is ,boswell's magnific5t scorn ( retic5ce :i* has done ! trick1 l ! spurt ( acid1 ( :i* ,br[n+ speaks 9 "o ( 8 be/ similes4 ,! f9al /roke ( g5ius :i* has e/abli%$ ! ,life ( ,johnson s securely 9 ! he>ts ( ,engli% read]s1 lies 9 ! fact t ,boswell has giv5 u some?+ to compassionate4 ,z a rule ! biograph] _c be> to evoke ! smalle/ pity = 8 h]o4 ,! abs5ce ( female relatives 9 ! case ( ,johnson 0 probably a "p ( 8 good =tune4 ,no biograph] likes1 & seldom d>es1 to torture ! s5sibilities ( a great man's wid[ & daught]s4 ,& ! /r5g? z well z ! weakness ( ! fem99e po9t ( view is t wom5 h a p[] n s mu* ( n obs]v+1 z ( actually oblit]at+ ! weaknesses ( ^? :om !y love4 ,x is s5tim5t :i* ru9s biographies1 ! s5tim5t t _c be> ! tru?4 ,boswell did n %r9k f admitt+ ! read] to a sight ( ,johnson's hypo*ondria1 8 melan*oly fe>s1 8 dre>y mis]ies1 8 dread ( illness1 8 t]ror ( dea?4 ,johnson's horror ( annihilation 0 insupportable4 ,he s revell$ 9 life1 9 ! contact & company ( o!r human be+s1 t he once said t ! idea ( an inf9ity ( torm5t 0 pref]able to ! ?\ght ( annihilation4 ,he wrote1 9 8 la/ illness1 to 8 old fri5d ,dr4 ,taylor3 ,oh6 my fri5d1 ! approa* ( dea? is v dreadful4 ,i am afraid to ?9k on t :i* ,i "k ,i _c avoid4 ,x is va9 to look r\nd & r\nd = t help :i* _c be _h4 ,yet we hope & hope1 & fancy t he :o has liv$ to-day may live to-morr[4 ,b let u le>n to d]ive our hope only f ,god4 ,9 ! meantime1 let u be k9d to "o ano!r4 ,i h no fri5d n[ liv+ b y & ,mr4 ,hector t 0 ! fri5d ( my y\?4--,d n neglect1 sir1 y\rs affectionately1 ,,sam4 ,,johnson4 ,0 ev] ! la/ fe> put into su* simple & poignant words z 9 ! above lett]8 ,x is l t o!r say+ ( ,johnson's1 :5 all sorts ( good reasons _h be5 giv5 :y m5 %\ld wi% to be releas$ f _! tr\bles by dea?1 ,aft] all1 x is a sad ?+ = a man to lie d[n & die4 ,!re is no m t c be said1 & n ! be/ reasons 9 ! _w = desir+ to dep>t & h done ) life c ev] d away ) t sadness4 ,dr4 ,johnson supplies ! cle>e/ pro(1 if pro( 7 ne$$1 t no robu/ness ( temp]am5t1 no g5ius ( common s5se1 no array ( rationality1 no degree ( c\rage1 c save a man f ! assaults ( fe>1 & ev5 ( fe> :i* ! suff]] kn[s to be unreal4 ,"s ( ! mo/ sev]e & angry ?+s :i* ,johnson ev] said 7 said to ,boswell & o!rs :o p]si/$ 9 discuss+ ! "q ( dea?4 ,yet ,johnson _h no rational d\bt ( immortality1 & believ$ ) an almo/ *ildlike simplicity 9 ! ,*ri/ian fai?4 ,he 0 n afraid ( pa91 or ( ! act ( dy+2 x 0 ( ! unkn[n conditions beyond ! grave t he 0 afraid4 ,probably z a rule v robu/ p are s mu* occupi$ 9 liv+ t !y h little "t to ?9k ( ! future1 :ile m5 & wom5 :o hold to life by a frail t5ure are n mu* conc]n$ at quitt+ a sc5e :i* is phantasmal & full ( pa94 ,b 9 ,johnson we h ! two extremes br\ght toge!r4 ,he 0 ! mo/ greg>i\s ( m52 he lov$ company s well t he w\ld foll[ 8 fri5ds to ! v ?re%old1 9 ! hope1 z he once told ,boswell1 t !y might p]haps return4 ,:5 he 0 alone & undi/ract$1 8 melan*oly came back ^u him l a cl\d4 ,he tortur$ himself ov] ! unpr(itabl5ess ( 8 life1 ov] 8 failure to a*ieve (ficial prom95ce4 ,he does n seem to h brood$ ov] ! fav\rite subject = ,engli%m5 to lose he>t ov]1 namely1 8 f9ancial position4 ,x is a v significant fact 9 our ,engli% life t if at an inque/ ^u a suicide x c be e/abli%$ t a man has f9ancial difficulties1 a v]dict ( tempor>y insanity is in/antly conc$$4 ,loss ( prop]ty r ?an loss ( affection is ! ?+ :i* ! ,engli%man ?9ks is likely to d]ange a man4 ,b ,johnson seems nev] to h be5 afraid ( pov]ty1 nor to h ev] tr\bl$ ab\t fame4 ,he 0 v angry once :5 x 0 laugh+ly sugge/$ to him t if he _h gone to ! ,b> he might h be5 ,"l ,*ancellor2 & ,i h no d\bt1 z ,i h said1 t "o ( 8 uncom=table reflections 0 t he did n seem to himself to be 9 a position ( influ5ce & au?ority4 ,b1 ap>t f t1 x is obvi\s t ,johnson's brood+s took ! =m ( lam5t+ 8 own s9fulness & moral wor?lessness3 :at ! faults :i* tr\bl$ him 71 x is h>d to say4 ,he does n seem to h be5 rep5tant ab\t ! mortification he caus$ o!rs by 8 witty bludgeon+--inde$ he consid]$ himself a polite man6 ,b ,i believe1 f _m slight indications1 t ,johnson 0 di/ress$ by ! consci\sness ( s5sual impulses1 ?\gh he held !m 9 sev]e re/ra9t4 ,8 habit ( ejaculatory pray] 01 ,i ?9k1 direct$ aga9/ ?is t5d5cy4 ,! agitation ) :i* he once said t corruption _h ent]$ into 8 he>t by means ( a dream seems to me a pro( ( ?is4 ,he took a tol]ant view ( ! lapses ( o!rs1 & ( c\rse ! /&>d ( ! age 0 lax 9 ?is respect4 ,b ,i h little d\bt myself t "h ,johnson f\nd himself (t5 confront$ ) a s5su\s t5d5cy :i* he ?\ght degrad+1 & :i* he con/antly combat$4 ,ap>t f ?is1 he 0 n afraid ( illness 9 itself1 except z a prelude ( mortality4 ,inde$ ,i believe t he took a hypo*ondriac pleasure 9 obs]v+ 8 symptoms m9utely1 & 9 dos+ himself 9 all sorts ( ways4 ,8 my/]i\s preoccupations ) dri$ orange-peel _h no d\bt a m$ic9al end 9 view4 ,b :5 x came to suff]+ pa9 & ev5 to endur+ op]ations1 he _h no tremors4 ,8 "o con/ant fe> 0 ! fe> ( dea?4 ,he kept x at arm's l5g?1 he lov$ any social amusem5t t bani%$ x1 b x is obvi\s1 9 sev]al ( 8 talks1 :5 ! subject 0 "u discussion1 t ! cl\d desc5d$ ^u him sudd5ly & made him mis]able4 ,x 0 all summ$ up 9 ?is1 t life 0 to 8 ta/e1 t ev5 :5 oppress$ ) gloom & depression1 he nev] desir$ to escape4 ,i h he>d a great doctor say t he believ$ t human be+s 7 v %>ply divid$ 9 ?is respect1 t !re 7 "s p 9 :om any extremity ( prolong$ angui%1 bodily or m5tal1 nev] produc$ ! smalle/ desire to quit life2 :ile !re 7 o!rs ^: atta*m5t to life 0 slight1 & t a v little pressure ( c>e or calamity develop$ a suicidal impulse4 ,?is is1 ,i suppose1 a "q ( vitality1 n necess>ily ( activity ( m9d & body1 b a deep in/9ctive desire to live2 ! ?\ght ( delib]ate suicide 0 :olly un9telligible to ,johnson1 dea? 0 8 ultimate fe>1 & h[ev] mu* he suff]$ f disease or depression1 8 int5tion to live 0 always inali5able4 ,8 fe> !n 0 "o :i* no dev\tness ( fai?1 no resolute t5acity ( hope1 no array ( reasons c\ld ev] t\*4 ,x 0 simply ! unkn[n t he fe>$4 ,life _h n be5 an easy bus9ess = ,johnson2 he _h kn[n all ! calamities ( life1 & he 0 famili> ) ! wor/ calamity ( all1 ! causeless melan*oly :i* makes life we>y & di/a/eful )\t ev] remov+ ! c]ta9ty t x is 9 itself desirable4 ,we may see f all ?is t to attempt to seek a cure = fe> 9 reason is =$oom$ to failure1 because fe> lies 9 a region t is beh9d all reason4 ,x exi/s 9 ! dep? ( ! _s1 z 9 ! fall5 gloom ( ! glimm]+ sea-deeps1 & x c be t\*$ by no activity ( life & joy & sunlight on ! surface1 :]e ! spe$+ sail moves pa/ w9d-swept headl&s4 ,we mu/ foll[ x into ^? dep?s if we are to deal ) x at all1 & x mu/ be vanqui%$ 9 ! region :]e x is born1 & :]e x skulks unse54 ,,xii ,,t5nyson1 ,,rusk91 ,,c>lyle ,!re 7 ?ree great m5 ( ! n9ete5? c5tury ( :om we "k m ?an we "k ( mo/ m51 ,c>lyle1 ,rusk91 & ,t5nyson1 9 ^: lives fe> 0 a prom95t elem5t4 ,t5nyson has suff]$ no loss ( fame1 b he has suff]$ ( late a c]ta9 loss ( influ5ce1 :i* 0 b\nd to come1 if simply f ! trem5d\s dom9ation :i* 8 writ+s ex]cis$ 9 8 lifetime4 ,he 0 und\bt$ly "o ( ! fir/ ^w-arti/s :o ev] liv$ & wrote1 b he 0 a great deal m ?an t2 he 0 a great my/ic1 a man ^: m9d mov$ 9 a %9+ cl\d ( inspiration4 ,he _h ! con/itution & ! temp]am5t ( a big ,l9coln%ire yeoman1 ) t simple ru/icity t is said to h *>act]is$ ,v]gil4 ,b 8 _s dwelt ap>t1 revolv+ dim & pr(\nd ?\ghts1 brood+ ov] my/]ies2 if he is lightly said to be ,e>ly ,victorian1 x is n because he 0 typical ( 8 age1 b because he contribut$ s mu* to make x :at x 04 ,:ile ,br[n+ liv$ an eag] p]sonal life1 full ( obs]vation1 ze/1 & passion1 ,t5nyson abode 9 m imp]sonal ?\ghts4 ,9 ! dawn ( sci5ce1 :5 !re 0 a dang] ( life becom+ ov]-mat]ialis$1 cont5t$ ) ! fir/ /eps ( swiftly appreh5d$ k1 & ) solutions :i* 7 no solutions at all1 b only ! p]ception ( laws1 ,t5nyson 0 ! man ( all o!rs :o saw t sci5ce _h a deeply poetical side1 & c\ld en=ce r ?an de/roy ! religi\s _s2 he saw t a k ( processes 0 n ! same ?+ z an explanation ( impulses1 & t :ile x 0 a little m cle> 9 ! light ( sci5ce :at 0 actually happ5+ 9 ! _w1 m5 7 no ne>] ! p]ception ( :y x happ5$ s1 or :y x happ5$ at all4 ,t5nyson saw cle>ly ! wond]s ( a/ronomy & geology1 & disc]n$ t ! laws ( nature 7 no?+ m ?an ! habits1 s to speak1 ( a p[] t 0 incr$ibly dim & va/1 a p[] :i* held )9 itself ! secrets ( motion & re/1 ( dea? & life4 ,?us he claim$ = 8 disciples n only ! av]age ?\ghtful m51 b ! v be/ & f9e/ m9ds ( 8 g5]ation :o wi%$ to l9k ! pa/ & ! pres5t toge!r1 & n to break ) ! old sanctities4 ,t5nyson's art suff]$ f ! consci\sness ( 8 enorm\s responsibility1 & :]e he fail$ 0 f 8 dread ( unpopul>ity1 or 8 fe> ( ali5at+ ! ord9>y man4 ,br[n+ 0 int]e/$ 9 e?ical problems2 8 robu/ & =tunate temp]am5t all[$ him to bridge ov] ) a sort ( buoyant heal?9ess ! gaps ( 8 philosophy4 ,b ,t5nyson's e?ical failure lay 9 8 desire to improve ! occasion1 & to rule out all impulses t _h n a social & civic value4 ,9 ! lat] ,idylls he did 8 be/ to repres5t ! prig trail+ cl\ds ( glory1 & to disc\rage lawlessness 9 e =m2 b he 0 m famili> ) ! d>k] & gross] sides ( life ?an he all[$ to appe> 9 8 v]se1 :i* suff]s f an almo/ prudi% delicacy1 :i* is m ak9 to respectability ?an to moral c\rage4 ,b all ?is 0 ! %ad[ ( a v s5sitive & melan*oly temp]am5t4 ,comp>atively little is kn[n ( ! fir/ =ty ye>s ( 8 life2 x is aft] t "t t ! elaborate leg5d beg9s4 ,till ! "t ( 8 m>riage1 he mu/ h be5 a con/ant anxiety to 8 fri5ds2 8 gloom1 8 in]tia1 8 drift+ moon+ ways1 8 hypo*ondria1 8 incapacity = any settl$ plan ( life1 all seem$ to port5d an ultimate failure4 ,b ?is tr\bl$ in]tness 0 ! soil ( 8 inspiration2 8 conceptions took sl[ & /ately %ape4 ,he nev] suff]$ f ! ha/e1 :i* z ,dante says m>s all dec5cy ( act4 ,aft] t "t he enjoy$ a great dome/ic happ9ess1 & practis$ consid]able sociability4 ,8 t]rify+ demean\r1 8 amaz+ p]sonal dignity & maje/y1 ! c]ta9ty t he w\ld say :atev] came into 8 head1 :e!r x 0 pr(\nd & solemn1 or te/y & disc\rte\s1 gave him a p]sonal asc5dancy t nev] disappo9t$ a pilgrim4 ,b he liv$ all 8 life 9 a p]petual melan*oly1 feel+ ! smalle/ slights acutely1 hat+ at once obscurity & publicity1 aw>e ( 8 r5[n1 yet %r9k+ f ! evid5ces ( x4 ,he c\ld be di/ract$ by company1 soo!d by w9e & tobacco2 b left to itself1 8 m9d fell helplessly d[n ! d>k slope into a sadness & a dre>9ess :i* depriv$ life ( its sav\r4 ,x 0 n t 8 dread 0 a def9ite "o2 he 0 /rong & t\gh physically1 & he reg>d$ dea? ) a solemn curiosity2 b he _h a s5se ( ! pr(itlessness ( vacant h\rs1 un?rill$ by beauty & delight1 & _h also a morbid pride1 ( ! nature ( vanity1 :i* caus$ him to res5t ! smalle/ criticism ( 8 works f ! humble/ read]4 ,!re are _m /ories ( ?is1 h[ he declaim$ aga9/ ! lu/ ( gossip1 :i* he call$ ) r\gh apposit5ess ripp+ up a man l a pig1 & ?ank$ ,god ) all 8 he>t & s\l t he knew no?+ ( ,%akespe>e's private life2 & 9 ! same brea? w5t on to say t he ?\ght t 8 own fame 0 suff]+ f a sort ( conge/ion1 because he _h receiv$ no lett]s ab\t 8 poems = sev]al days4 ,9 lat] life he became v pessimi/ic1 & believ$ t ! _w 0 s9k+ fa/ into dull mat]ialism1 petty selfi%ness1 & moral an>*y4 ,he _h less opportunity ( kn[+ :at 0 go+ on 9 ! _w ?an mo/ p1 9 8 %elt]$ & seclud$ life1 ) 8 c\rt ( fri5ds & wor%ipp]s4 ,& inde$ x 0 n a rational pessimism2 x 0 b ! %ad[ ( 8 fe>4 ,& ! fact rema9s t 9 spite ( a life ( great good =tune1 & an undimm$ supremacy ( fame1 he sp5t mu* ( 8 "t 9 fight+ %ad[s1 involv$ 9 cl\ds ( d>kness & dissatisfaction4 ,t 0 no d\bt ! price he paid = 8 exquisite p]ception ( beauty & 8 p[] ( melodi\s expression4 ,b we make a great mi/ake if we m]ely ?9k ( ,t5nyson z a ri* & ample nature mov+ s]5ely ?r\gh life4 ,he 0 black-blood$1 he once said1 add+1 l all ! ,t5nysons4 ,d\btless he _h 9 8 m9d 8 fa!r1 a man (t5 deeply 9 ! grip ( melan*oly4 ,& ! absurd leg5d1 inv5t$ probably by ,rossetti1 conta9s a tru? 9 x & may be quot$ "h4 ,rossetti said t he once w5t to d9e ) a fri5d 9 ,london1 & 0 %[n into a dimly lit draw+-room ) no "o to receive him4 ,he w5t t[>ds ! fireplace1 & sudd5ly to 8 surprise discov]$ an imm5sely tall man 9 ev5+ dress ly+ pro/rate on ! he>?rug1 8 face d[nw>ds1 9 an attitude ( prone despair4 ,:ile he gaz$1 ! /rang] rose to 8 feet1 look$ fix$ly at him1 & said1 ,i mu/ introduce myself2 ,i am ,octavius1 ! mo/ morbid ( ! ,t5nysons4 ,) ,rusk9 we h a diff]5t case4 ,he 0 br\ght up 9 ! mo/ seclud$ fa%ion1 & ?\gh he 0 %>ply en\gh discipl9$ into decor\s behavi\r by 8 v grim & positive "m1 he 0 gu>d$ l a preci\s jewel1 & z he grew up he 0 endlessly pett$ & indulg$4 ,! ,rusk9s liv$ a v com=table life 9 a big villa ) ample gr\nds at ,d5m>k ,hill4 ,:atev] ! wond]ful boy did 0 applaud$ & ev5 dang]\sly enc\rag$1 bo? 9 ! way ( draw+ & ( writ+4 ,?\gh he seems to h be5 (t5 publicly snubb$ by bo? 8 p>5ts1 x 0 m a family cu/om ?an any?+ else1 & 0 accompani$ by undisguis$ admiration & pat5t pride4 ,!y 7 8 /upefi$ critics1 :5 he read al\d 8 works 9 ! family circle1 & 8 fa!r ob$i5tly produc$ l>ge sums ( money to gratify 8 brilliant son's arti/ic desire = ! possession ( ,turn]'s pa9t+s4 ,rusk9 9 8 morbid mom5ts1 9 lat] life1 turn$ fi]cely & unju/ly aga9/ 8 fond & t5d] fa!r4 ,he accus$ him ) an 9 temp]ate bitt]ness ( hav+ lavi%$ ev]y?+ ^u him except ! intellig5t sympa?y ( :i* he /ood 9 ne$1 & 8 fa!r's g5tle & m\rnful apologies h an extraord9>y beauty ( puzzl$ & pati5t dignity ab\t !m4 ,:5 ,rusk9 w5t to ,ox=d1 8 "m w5t to reside !re too1 to look aft] h] d>l+4 ,"o might h suppos$ t ?is w\ld h involv$ ,rusk9 9 ridicule1 b he 0 pett$ & indulg$ by 8 fell[-und]graduates1 :o f\nd 8 *>m1 8 swift wit1 8 *ildlike wayw>dness1 8 freaki% hum\r irresi/ible4 ,!n he _h a s]i\s illness1 & 8 fir/ ta/e ( mis]y2 he 0 afraid ( dea?1 he hat$ ! con/ra9ts ( invalid life & ! grim int]ruption to 8 b\ndless en]gies & plans4 ,!n came 8 fir/ great book1 & he /rode full-fl$g$ into fame4 ,8 amaz+ attractiv5ess1 8 talk1 :i* comb9$ incisiv5ess & fancy & hum\r & fire & g5tl5ess1 made him a m>k$ figure f ! fir/4 ,moreov]1 he _h ! comm& ( great weal?1 yet no temptation to be idle4 ,! tale ( ,rusk9's indu/ry = ! next fifty ye>s is "o t w\ld be incr$ible if x 7 n true4 ,8 brief & dim exp]i5ce ( m>ri$ life seems h>dly to h affect$ him4 ,z a critic ( art & e?ics1 z ! writ] ( facile magnific5t s5t5ces1 full ( beauty & rhy?m1 z ! compos] ( ^w-/ructures1 app>5tly logical 9 =m b deeply prejudic$ & inconsequ5t 9 ?\ght1 he became "o ( ! great influ5ces ( ! day1 & wield$ n only p[] b real dom9ation4 ,! widespread delusion ( ! ,engli% educat$ classes1 t !y are int]e/$ 9 art1 0 ( ,rusk9's mak+4 ,!n some?+ v s]i\s happ5$ to him2 a baffl$ passion ( extraord9>y int5sity1 a p]ception ( ! realities ( life1 ! consci\sness t 8 public indulg$ & hum\r$ him z 8 p>5ts _h done1 & admir$ 8 arti/ic advice )\t pay+ ! smalle/ he$ to 8 e?ical pr9ciples--all ^! exp]i5ces broke ov] him1 we>i$ z he 0 ) excessive /ra91 l a bitt] wave4 ,b 8 pessimism took ! noble =m ( an int5se conc]n ) ! bl9dness & imp5etrability ( ! _w at l>ge4 ,he made a !ory ( political economy1 :i*1 p]emptory & prejudic$ z x is1 is yet built on l>ge l9es1 & has be5 fruitful 9 sugge/iv5ess4 ,b he ta/$ disc\ragem5t & failure 9 deep draughts4 ,8 p>5ts frankly express$ _! bewild]$ disappo9tm5t1 8 public look$ ^u him z a p]v]se man :o 0 ?r[+ away a beautiful message = ! sake ( a crabb$ :im2 & he fell into a fi]ce depression1 alt]nat+ betwe5 savage en]gy & li/less despond5cy1 :i* la/$ = sev]al ye>s1 till at la/ ! ov]wr\ght bra9 & m9d gave way2 & = ! re/ ( 8 life he 0 liable to recurr5t attacks ( insanity1 :i* cle>$ (f & left him normal aga91 or z normal z he ev] _h be54 ,wide & eag] z ,rusk9's t5d]ness 01 "o feels t 8 he>t 0 nev] really engag$2 he 0 always f> away1 9 a solitude full ( fe>1 out ( ! rea* ( affection1 always solemnly & m\rnfully alone4 ,rusk9 0 nev] really alli$ ) any o!r human s\l2 he knew mo/ ( ! great m5 ( ! day2 he bait$ ,rossetti1 he pett$ ,c>lyle2 he _h correspond5ts l ,norton1 to :om he p\r$ out 8 ov]burd5$ he>t2 b he 0 always ! spoil$ & indulg$ *ild ( 8 boyhood1 inf9itely w9n+1 provok+1 wilful4 ,he c\ld n be help$1 because he c\ld nev] get away f himself2 he c\ld admire almo/ fr5zi$ly1 b he c\ld n wor%ip2 he c\ld n keep himself f criticism ev5 :5 he ador$1 & he _h a bitt] sup]iority ( _s1 a t]rible p]ception ( ! imp]fections & faults ( o!rs1 a real despair ( humanity4 ,i d n "k exactly :at ! t]rors :i* ,rusk9 suff]$ 7--v few p w tell ! tale ( ! valley ( hobgobl9s1 or probably _c6 ,9 ! ,pilgrim's ,progress itself1 ! unreality ( ! spirits ( fe>1 _! secrecy & l5i5cy1 is v firmly & wittily told4 ,!y scream 9 _! d5s1 sitt+ toge!r1 ,i h ?\ght1 l f[ls 9 a roo/4 ,!y come padd+ aft] ! pilgrim1 !y %[ !mselves obscurely1 swoll5 by ! mi/ at ! corn]s ( ! road4 ,!y give ! s5se ( be+ b&$ toge!r 9 a num]\s ambu%1 !y c deceive eye & e>1 & ev5 nose ) noisome /5*es2 b !y _c %[ !mselves1 & !y _c hurt4 ,if !y c\ld be se51 !y w\ld be no?+ b limp unga9ly ?+s t w\ld r\se disda9 & laught] & ev5 pity1 at any?+ at once s weak & s malevol5t4 ,b !y are n l ! demons ( s9 t c hamp] & w\nd2 !y are j little gnomes & elves t c make a noise1 & _! /r5g? is a spiteful & a puny ?+4 ,rusk9 _h no sordid or mat]ial fe>s2 he _h no fe> ( pov]ty1 = he flung 8 fa!r's h>d-e>n$ weal? pr(usely away2 nor did he fe> illness2 inde$ "o ( ! brave/ & mo/ gallant ?+s ab\t him 0 ! way 9 :i* he talk$ & wrote ab\t 8 insane fits1 describ$ 8 haunt$ visions1 told1 half-ruefully1 half-humor\sly1 h[ he f\ght & /ruggl$ ) 8 nurses1 & made fun ( ! matt]4 ,t 0 a v c\rage\s ?+ to d1 because mo/ p are a%am$ ( insanity1 no d\bt f ! old sad ignorant tradition t x 0 ! "w ( demoniacal ag5cies1 & n a m]e disease l o!r diseases4 ,half ! trag$y ( insanity is t x %ocks p1 & _c be allud$ to or spok5 ab\t2 b "o c take ! /+ out ( almo/ any calamity if "o c make fun ( x1 & ?is ,rusk9 did4 ,b he 0 w\nd$ by 8 fe>s1 z we mo/ ( u are1 n only ?r\gh 8 vanity b ?r\gh 8 f9e/ emotions4 ,he felt 8 impot5ce & 8 failure4 ,he _h ?\ght ( 8 gift ( language z "o might ?9k ( a magic w& :i* "o c wave1 & ?us compel dull] spirits to d "o's bidd+4 ,rusk9 began by ?9k+ t !re 0 n mu* amiss ) ! _w except a sort ( pa!tic /upidity2 & he ?\ght t if only p c\ld be told1 cle>ly & l\dly en\gh1 :at 0 "r1 !y w\ld d x gladly2 & !n x dawn$ ^u him by sl[ degrees t ! confusion 0 f> deep] ?an t1 t m5 mo/ly did n live 9 motives b 9 appetites4 ,& s he fell into a sort ( noble rage ) ! imp]fection ( mortal ?+s2 & "o ( ! cle>e/ signs1 z he himself knew1 t he 0 drift+ into "o ( ! m9d-/orms :i* swept across him1 0 t 9 ^! moods ev]y?+ t p said or wrote _h p[] to ar\se 8 irritation1 to int]rupt 8 "w1 to break 8 sleep1 & to %[ him t he 0 p[]less inde$4 ,:at he fe>$ 0 d]ision1 & ! good-natur$ indiff]5t /olidity t is worse ?an any d]ision1 & ! k t1 ) all 8 p[]s & p]ceptions1 8 common-s5se1 :i* 0 great1 & 8 s5se ( responsibility1 he 0 treat$ by ! _w l a spoilt *ild1 *>m+ ev5 9 8 wra?1 :o _h full lic5se to be z vehem5t z he lik$1 ) ! und]/&+ t no "o w\ld act on 8 advice4 ,i (t5 g to ,brantwood1 :i* is a sacr$ place inde$1 & see ) deep emotion ! little rooms1 ) all _! beautiful treasures1 & all ! great accumulations ( t fi]ce indu/ry ( m9d1 & rememb] t 9 t peaceful backgr\nd a man ( exquisite g5ius f\ght ) s9i/] %ad[s1 & 0 wor/$ 9 ! fight1 = a "t2 because ! la/ t5 ye>s ( t long life 7 a "t ( s]5e wait+ = dea?1 a beguil+ by little *ildi% & homely occupations ! heavy h\rs3 he c\ld uplift 8 voice no m1 (t5 c\ld h>dly frame an intelligible ?\ght4 ,b mean:ile 8 great message w5t on rippl+ out to ! _w1 t\*+ he>t aft] he>t into light & hope1 & do+1 ins5sibly & graci\sly1 by ! _s1 ! v ?+ he _h fail$ to d by might & p[]4 ,& !n we come to ,c>lyle1 & "h we are on some:at diff]5t gr\nd4 ,c>lyle _h a colossal qu>rel ) ! age1 b he ?\ght v little ( ! message ( beauty & peace4 ,8 idea ( ! _w 0 t ( a /]n combative place1 ) ! "o hope a /r5u\s & grim righte\sness2 ,c>lyle ?\ght ( ! _w z a place :]e *eats & li>s coz5$ & beguil$ m51 = _! own advantage1 ) all sorts ( %ams & pret5ces3 b he did n really "k ! _w2 he put d[n to individual action & delib]ate policy mu* t 0 due simply to ! preval5ce ( tradition & sy/em1 & to ! complexity ( civilisation4 ,he 0 s fi]ce an individuali/ himself t he cr$it$ ev]yone else ) purpose & prejudice4 ,he did n realise ! va/ prepond]ance ( helpless good-nature & muddl$ k9dl9ess4 ,! mi/ake ( mu* ( ,c>lyle's "w is t x is too poignantly dramatic1 & bri/les ) int5tion & significance2 & he did n all[ suffici5tly = ! cr[d ( vague sup]s :o ?rong ! backgr\nd ( ! /age4 ,nei!r did he ev] g ab\t ! _w ) 8 eyes op5 = g5]al facts4 ,:]ev] he 01 he 0 int5sely obs]vant1 b he sp5t 8 days ei!r 9 a fi]ce absorption ( "w1 bl9d ev5 to ! sorr[ & discom=t ( 8 wife1 or tak+ rapid t\rs to /ore 8 m9d ) ! details ( hi/orical sc5es1 or 9 ! big h\ses ( weal?y p1 :]e he kept mu* to himself1 /or$ up irresi/ibly absurd c>icatures ( ! o!r gue/s1 & lam5t$ 8 own inaction4 ,i h nev] be5 able to discov] exactly :y ,c>lyle sp5t s mu* "t 9 /ay+ at great h\ses1 d]id+ & satiris+ ev]y?+ he set eyes ^u2 x 01 ,i believe1 vaguely gratify+ to him to h rais$ himself unaid$ into ! highe/ social /ratum2 & ! old man 0 aft] all a trem5d\s ari/ocrat at he>t4 ,or else he skulk$ ) inf9ite melan*oly 9 8 "m's h\se1 be+ wait$ ^u & hum\r$1 & indulg+ 8 deep & true family affection4 ,b he 0 a solit>y man = ! mo/ "p1 & mix$ ) m51 involv$ 9 a cl\d ( 8 own irresi/ibly fanta/ic & :imsical talk2 = 8 real gift 0 half-humor\s1 half-melan*oly improvisation r ?an delib]ate writ+4 ,b x is difficult to disc]n 9 all ?is :at 8 endless & plang5t melan*oly 0 conc]n$ )4 ,he _h a v s+ul> physical frame1 imm5sely t\gh & wiry1 ) an imag9ation :i* emphasiz$ & p>ticul>is$ e slight t\* ( bodily disord]4 ,:5 he 0 at "w1 he toil$ l a demon day aft] day1 entirely & vehem5tly absorb$4 ,:5 he 0 n at "w he suff]$ f dre>y reaction4 ,he f\ght out 9 e>ly days a sev]e moral combat1 & f\nd 8 way to a belief 9 ,god :i* 0 v diff]5t f 8 =m] ,calv9ism4 ,c>lyle c by no /ret* ( ! ^w be call$ a ,*ri/ian1 b he 0 "o ( ! mo/ ?or\ghgo+ ,dei/s t ev] liv$4 ,! t]ror t beset him 9 t fir/ great conflict 0 a gha/ly fe> ( 8 own insignificance1 & a horrible suspicion t ! _w 0 made on =tuit\s & indiff]5t l9es4 ,8 dread 0 t ( be+ wor/$1 9 spite ( all 8 eag] s5sibility & imm5se desire to d a noble "w1 ( be+ cru%$1 sil5c$1 ?r[n ru?lessly on ! du/-heap ( ! _w4 ,he le>n$ a fi]y sort ( ,det]m9ism1 & a fai? 9 ! /ubborn p[] ( ! w1 n to a*ieve any?+1 b to a*ieve some?+4 ,yet aft] ?is trem5d\s conflict1 describ$ 9 ,s>tor ,res>tus1 :]e he f\nd himself at bay ) 8 back to ! wall1 he nev] _h any ultimate d\bt aga9 ( 8 own purpose4 ,/ill1 x br\ght him no s]5ity2 & ,i suppose !re is no writ] 9 ! _w ^: lett]s & di>ies are s full ( cries ( angui% & hopelessness4 ,he 0 cru%$ "u ! s5se ( ! _w's imm5sity2 8 own obs]vation 0 s microscopic1 8 desire to p]ceive & "k s /rong1 8 appetite = def9it5ess s pr(\nd1 t ,i feel t ,c>lyle's t]ror 0 l t ( a mite 9 an enorm\s *eese1 long+ to explore x all1 lo/ 9 ! high-flav\r$ dusk1 & consci\s ( a scale ( my/]y s va/ t x humiliat$ a bra9 t want$ to "k ! tru? ab\t ev]y?+4 ,9 ^! sad h\rs--& !y 7 num]\s & protract$--he felt l a knight worn out by conflict1 "u a li/less en*antm5t :i* he c\ld n break4 ,i "k few confessions t are s fill$ ) gleams ( high poetry & beauty z _m ( ^! solit>y lam5tations4 ,b ,i believe t ! t]rors t ,c>lyle _h to face 7 ! t]rors ( a swift1 cle>-sight$1 fev]i%ly active1 intuitive bra91 prev5t$ by mortal weakness & frailty f deal+ z he desir$ ) ! dazzl+ imm5sity & intricacy ( ! _w's life & hi/ory4 ,i feel no real d\bt ( ?is1 because ,c>lyle's passion = accurate & m9ute k1 8 int5se int]e/ 9 temp]am5t & "*1 8 almo/ unequall$ p[] ( obs]vation--:i* is really ! sure/ sign ( g5ius--come out s cle>ly all ?r\gh 8 life1 t 8 f9ite limitations mu/ h be5 ( ! nature ( a torture to him4 ,"o :o desir$ to "k ! tru? ab\t ev]y?+ s vehem5tly1 0 cru%$ & bewild]$ by ! n>r[ range & limit$ scope ( 8 own insatiable ?\ght4 ,8 p[] ( express+ all t he saw & felt1 s delicately1 s humor\sly1 & at times s t5d]ly1 mu/ h beguil$ 8 sadness m ?an he knew4 ,x 0 ,rusk9 :o said t he c\ld nev] fit ! two sides ( ! puzzle toge!r--on ! "o side ! awful dejection & despond5cy :i* ,c>lyle always claim$ to feel 9 ! pres5ce ( 8 "w1 z a dr$g] 9 lakes ( mud & z a sort] ( m\nta9s ( rubbi%1 & on ! o!r side ! endless reli% = sali5t traits1 & ! delight$ appreh5sion ( quality :i* em]ges s cle>ly 9 all he wrote4 ,b x is cle> t ,c>lyle suff]$ ceaselessly1 ?\gh nev] unutt]ably4 ,he 0 a mat*less arti/1 ) an unequall$ gift ( putt+ into vivid words ev]y?+ he exp]i5c$2 b 8 sadness 0 a disease ( ! imag9ation1 a fe>1 n ( any?+ def9ite--= he nev] ev5 saw ! anxieties t 7 ne>e/ to him--b a nightm>e dream ( *aos & :irl+ =ces all ab\t him1 a dread ( slipp+ (f 8 own v fairly com=table p]* into oceans ( confusion & dismay4 ,,xiii ,,*>lotte ,,bronte ,i d\bt if ! records ( intimate biography conta9 a f9] object-lesson aga9/ fe> & all its obsessions ?an ! life ( ,*>lotte ,bronte4 ,%e 0 ( a temp]am5t :i* 9 _m ways 0 m op5 to ! assaults ( fe> ?an any :i* c\ld well be devis$4 ,%e 0 frail & delicate1 liable to acute n]v\s depression1 int5sely %y & s5sitive1 & susceptible z well2 t is to say t h] %yness did n isolate h] f h] k9d2 %e want$ to be lov$1 respect$1 ev5 admir$4 ,:5 %e did love1 %e lov$ ) fire & passion & desp]ate loyalty4 ,h] life 0 f beg9n+ to end full ( %>p & tragic exp]i5ces4 ,%e 0 born & br\ght up 9 a bleak moorl& village1 climb+ /eeply & grimly to ! edge ( hea!ry upl&s4 ,! b>e p>sonage1 ) its little d>k rooms1 looks out on a *ur*y>d pav$ ) graves4 ,h] fa!r 0 a k9dly man1 b ess5tially moody & solit>y4 ,he took all 8 meals alone1 walk$ alone1 sate alone4 ,h] "m di$ ( canc]1 :5 %e 0 b a *ild4 ,!n %e 0 s5t to an ill-manag$ au/]e s*ool1 & "h :5 %e 0 n9e ye>s old h] two eld] si/]s di$4 ,%e took s]vice two or ?ree times z a gov]ness1 & endur$ agonies ( misund]/&+1 suspici\s ( h] employ]s1 afraid ( h] pupils1 long+ = home ) an int5se ye>n+4 ,!n %e w5t out to a s*ool at ,brussels1 :]e "u ! tea*+ ( ,m4 ,heg]1 a gift$ pr(essor1 h] m9d & he>t awoke1 & %e =m$ = him a /range affection1 half an intellectual devotion1 half an unconsci\s passion1 :i* depriv$ h] ( h] peace ( m9d4 ,h] sad & wi/ful lett]s to him1 lately publi%$1 7 disreg>d$ by him1 p>tly because 8 wife 0 und\bt$ly jeal\s ( ! relation1 p>tly because he 0 disconc]t$ by ! emotion he _h ar\s$4 ,h] bro!r1 a brilliant1 wayw>d1 & 9 "s ways attractive boy1 got into disgrace1 & drift$ home1 :]e he tri$ to console himself ) dr9k & opium4 ,aft] ?ree ye>s ( ?is horrible life1 he di$1 & )9 twelve mon?s h] two surviv+ si/]s1 ,emily & ,anne1 develop$ consumption & di$4 ,z ,rob]t ,br[n+ says1 !re inde$ 0 tr\ble en\gh = "o6 ,n[ x mu/ be borne 9 m9d t h] temp]am5t 0 naturally hypo*ondriacal4 ,let me quote a passage deal+ ) ! same exp]i5ce2 x is und\bt$ly autobiographical1 ?\gh x comes f ,villette1 into :i* ,*>lotte ,bronte ?rew ! picture ( h] own solit>y exp]i5ces 9 ,brussels4 ,%e is left alone at ! p5sionnat 9 ! vacation1 /ra9$ by "w & anxiety1 & tortur$ by exhau/ion1 re/lessness1 & sleeplessness3-- ,"o day1 p]ceiv+ ?is gr[+ illusion1 ,i said1 ',i really believe my n]ves are gett+ ov]/ret*$3 my m9d has suff]$ some:at too mu*2 a malady is gr[+ ^u x--:at %all ,i d8 ,h[ %all ,i keep well8' ,inde$ !re 0 no way to keep well "u ! circum/ances4 ,at la/ a day & night ( peculi>ly agonis+ depression 7 succe$$ by physical illness2 ,i took p]=ce to my b$4 ,ab\t ?is "t ! ,indian summ] clos$1 & ! equ9octial /orms began2 & = n9e d>k & wet days1 ( :i* ! h\rs ru%$ on all turbul5t1 deaf1 di%evell$--bewild]$ ) s\nd+ hurricane--,i lay 9 a /range fev] ( ! n]ves & blood4 ,sleep w5t q away4 ,i us$ to rise 9 ! night1 look r\nd = h]1 besee* h] e>ne/ly to return4 ,a rattle ( ! w9d[1 a cry ( ! bla/ only repli$--,sleep nev] came6 ,i err4 ,%e came once1 b 9 ang]4 ,impati5t ( my importunity %e br\ght ) h] an av5g+ dream4 ,by ! clock ( ,/4 ,jean ,bapti/e1 t dream rema9$ sc>ce fifte5 m9utes--a brief space1 b suffic+ to wr+ my :ole frame ) unkn[n angui%2 to conf] a nameless exp]i5ce t _h ! hue1 ! mi51 ! t]ror1 ! v tone ( a visitation f et]nity4 ,betwe5 twelve & "o t night a cup 0 =c$ to my lips1 black1 /rong1 /range1 drawn f no well1 b fill$ up see?+ f a bottomless & b\ndless sea4 ,suff]+1 brew$ 9 temporal or calculable measure1 & mix$ = mortal lips1 ta/es n z ?is suff]+ ta/$4 ,hav+ drank sic & woke1 ,i ?\ght all 0 ov]3 ! end come & pass$ by4 ,trembl+ fe>fully--z consci\sness return$--ready to cry out on "s fell[-creature to help me1 only t ,i knew no fell[-creature 0 ne> en\gh to cat* ! wild summons--,goton 9 h] f> di/ant attic c\ld n he>--,i rose on my knees 9 b$4 ,"s fe>ful h\rs w5t ov] me2 indescribably 0 ,i torn1 rack$ & oppress$ 9 m9d4 ,amid/ ! horrors ( t dream ,i ?9k ! wor/ lay "h4 ,me?\ght ! well-lov$ dead1 :o _h lov$ ,,me well 9 life1 met me else:]e ali5at$2 gall$ 0 my inmo/ _s ) an unutt]able s5se ( despair ab\t ! future4 ,motive !re 0 none :y ,i %\ld try to recov] or wi% to live2 & yet q un5durable 0 ! pitiless & haughty voice 9 :i* ,dea? *all5g$ me to engage 8 unkn[n t]rors4 ,:5 ,i tri$ to pray ,i c\ld only utt] ^! words3-- ',f my y\? up ,?y t]rors h ,i suff]$ ) a tr\bl$ m9d4' ,! deep int]e/ ( ?is exp]i5ce is t x 0 endur$ by "o :o 0 n only intellectually end[$ beyond mo/ wom5 ( h] "t1 b ^: sanity1 reasonabl5ess1 & moral =ce 7 conspicu\sly /rong4 ,*>lotte ,bronte 0 n "o ( ^? impulsive & imag9ative wom5 :o are ! prey ( e fancy4 ,?r\gh\t ! :ole ( h] c>e]1 %e 0 = ev] compell+ h] frail & s5sitive temp]am5t1 ) indomitable purpose1 to p]=m :atev] %e _h und]tak5 to d4 ,!re nev] 0 anyone :o liv$ s /]nly by pr9ciple & reason1 or :o s ma9ta9$ h] self-control 9 ! face ( sorr[1 disa/]1 unhapp9ess1 & b]eavem5t4 ,%e nev] gave way to feeble or morbid self-accusation1 & !re=e ! fact t %e c\ld ?us h suff]$ is a sign t ?is unnam$ t]ror c coexi/ ) a dauntless c\rage & an ess5tial self-comm&4 ,"h aga9 is ! cry ( a desolate he>t6 ,%e _h be5 go+ ?r\gh h] si/]s' pap]s n long aft] _! dea?1 & wrote to h] great fri5d3 ,i am bo? angry & surpris$ at myself = n be+ 9 bett] spirits2 = n gr[+ accu/om$1 or at lea/ resign$1 to ! solitude & isolation ( my lot4 ,b my late occupation left a result1 = "s days & inde$ /ill1 v pa9ful4 ,! read+ ov] ( pap]s1 ! r5ewal ( remembrances1 br\ght back ! pangs ( b]eavem5t & occasion$ a depression ( spirits well-nigh intol]able4 ,= "o or two nights ,i h>dly knew h[ to get on till morn+2 & :5 morn+ came ,i 0 /ill haunt$ by a s5se ( sick5+ di/ress4 ,i tell y ^! ?+s because x is absolutely necess>y to me to h ,,"s relief4 ,y w =give me & n tr\ble y\rself1 or imag9e t ,i am "o :it worse ?an ,i say4 ,x is q a m5tal ailm5t1 & ,i believe & hope is bett] n[4 ,i ?9k s1 because ,i c speak ab\t x1 :i* ,i nev] c :5 grief is at its wor/4 ,i ?\ght to f9d occupation & int]e/ 9 writ+ :5 alone at home1 b hi!rto my ef=ts h be5 9 va93 ! defici5cy ( e /imulus is s complete4 ,y w recomm5d me1 ,i d>e say1 to g f home2 b t does no good1 ev5 c\ld ,i aga9 leave papa ) an easy m9d4 4 4 4 ,i _c describe :at a "t ( x ,i _h aft] my return f ,london & ,scotl&4 ,!re 0 a reaction t sank me to ! e>?1 ! deadly sil5ce1 solitude1 depression1 desolation 7 awful2 ! crav+ = companion%ip1 ! hopelessness ( relief 7 :at ,i %\ld dread to feel aga94 ,or aga91 9 a some:at calm] mood1 %e writes3 ,i feel to my deep sorr[1 to my humiliation1 t x is n 9 my p[] to be> ! cank] ( con/ant solitude4 ,i _h calculat$ t :5 %ut out f e enjoym5t1 f e /imulus b :at c\ld be desir$ f intellectual ex]tion1 my m9d w\ld r\se itself p]=ce4 ,x is n s4 ,ev5 intellect1 ev5 imag9ation w n disp5se ) ! ray ( dome/ic *e]fulness1 ) ! g5tle spur ( family discussions4 ,late 9 ! ev5+ & all ?r\gh ! nights1 ,i fall into a condition ( m9d :i* turns entirely to ! pa/--to memory1 & memory is bo? sad & rel5tless4 ,?is w nev] d1 & w produce no good4 ,i tell y ?is t y may *eck false anticipations4 ,y _c help me1 & mu/ n tr\ble y\rself 9 any %ape to sympa?ise ) me4 ,x is my cup1 & ,i mu/ dr9k x z o!rs d !irs4 ,x w\ld be difficult to create a picture ( m poignant suff]+2 yet %e 0 at ?is "t a fam\s writ]4 ,%e _h publi%$ ,jane ,eyre & ,%irley1 & on h] visits to ,london1 to h] hospitable publi%]1 _h f\nd h]self welcom$1 hon\r$1 fet$4 ,! great lions ( ! lit]>y _w _h flock$ eag]ly to meet h]4 ,ev5 ^! simple fe/ivities 7 accompani$ by a deadly s5se ( /ra91 anxiety1 & exhau/ion4 ,mrs4 ,gaskell describes h[ a little lat] %e met ,*>lotte ,bronte at a quiet c\ntry-h\se1 & h[ ,*>lotte 0 r$uc$ f tol]able heal? to a bad n]v\s heada*e by ! ann\ncem5t t !y 7 go+ to drive ov] 9 ! aft]noon to h tea at a neighb\r's h\se--! prospect ( meet+ /rang]s 0 s al>m+ to h]4 ,b 9 spite ( ?is agonis+ susceptibility & vuln]ability1 !re is nev] ! lea/ t\* ei!r ( s5tim5tality or self-pity ab\t ,*>lotte ,bronte4 ,%e /uck to h] duty & fac$ life ) an inf9ity ( pati5t c\rage4 ,"o ( h] fri5ds said ( h] t no "o %e _h ev] kn[n _h sacrific$ m to o!rs1 or done x ) a full] consci\sness ( :at %e 0 sacrific+4 ,if duty & affection bade h] act1 no s5se ( weakness or ( incl9ation _h any p[] ov] h]4 ,%e 0 afraid ( life1 b %e /ood up to x2 %e 0 nev] cru%$ or brok54 ,consid] ! circum/ances "u :i* %e began to write ,jane ,eyre4 ,%e _h writt5 h] novel ,! ,pr(essor1 & x 0 return$ to h] n9e sev]al times1 by publi%] aft] publi%]4 ,h] fa!r 0 ?reat5$ ) bl9dness4 ,%e _h tak5 him to ,man*e/] = an op]ation1 in/all$ him 9 lodg+s1 & settl$ d[n alone to nurse him4 ,! ill-fat$ ,pr(essor came back to h] once m ) a polite refusal4 ,t v day %e wrote ! fir/ l9es ( ,jane ,eyre4 ,lat] on too1 ) h] bro!r dy+ ( opium & dr9k1 %e _h begun ,%irley1 & %e f9i%$ x aft] ! dea?s ( h] si/]s4 ,%e 0 p]fectly m]ciless to h]self1 saw no reason :y %e %\ld be sp>$ any sorr[ or suff]+ or ill-heal?1 b look$ ^u x all z a /]n b n unju/ discipl9e4 ,%e _h "o ( ! mo/ passionately affectionate natures bo? 9 fri5d%ip & home relations--my hot t5aci\s he>t1 %e once says6 ,b !re 0 no t\* ( s(tness or s5tim5tality ab\t h]2 %e nev] feebly condon$ weaknesses2 h] obs]vation ( p 0 m9ute1 h] judgm5t ( !m sev]e & ev5 satirical4 ,h] lett]s ab\nd 9 pung5t hum\r & acute p]ception2 & h] idea ( *>ity 0 n t ( mild & muddl$ tol]ance4 ,%e _h a ve9 ( frank & r bitt] irony :5 %e 0 indignant1 & %e c\ld return /roke = /roke4 ,%e knew well t1 :atev] life 0 meant to be1 x 0 n int5d$ to be an easy bus9ess2 b %e did n face x /oically or indiff]5tly2 %e _h a fi]ce desire = k1 culture1 ideas2 %e 0 ambiti\s2 & above ev]y?+ %e desir$ to be lov$2 yet %e did n ?9k ( love 9 ! way 9 :i* all ,engli% romanc]s _h treat$ x = ov] a c5tury1 z a condesc5d+ h& held out by a sup]ior be+1 = ! glory ( :i* a woman submitt$ to a m or less cont5t$ s]vitude2 b z a gl[+ equality ( passion & wor%ip1 9 :i* two he>ts clasp$ ea* o!r close1 ) a sacr$ concurr5ce ( s\l4 ,& ?us x 0 t %e & ,rob]t ,br[n+1 above all o!r writ]s ( ! c5tury1 put ! love ( man & woman 9 ! true light1 z ! supreme wor? ( life2 n z a half-s5su\s excitem5t1 ) lapses & reactions1 b z a great & holy my/]y ( devotion & s]vice & mutual help4 ,%e too _h h] little ta/e ( love4 ,mr4 ,ni*olls1 h] fa!r's curate1 a man ( deep t5d]ness beh9d 8 quiet homely ways1 _h propos$ to h]2 %e _h refus$ him2 b 8 suff]+ & bewild]m5t _h t\*$ h] deeply1 & at la/ %e cons5t$1 ?\gh %e w5t to h] w$d+ 9 fe> & dread2 b %e 0 rew>d$1 & = a few %ort mon?s ta/$ a calm & sweet happ9ess1 ! joy ( be+ ne$$ & desir$1 & at ! same "t gu>d$ & t5d$ well4 ,h] pa!tic words1 :5 %e knew f 8 lips t %e mu/ die1 ,god w n "p u--we h be5 s happy1 are full ( ! deepe/ trag$y4 ,i say aga9 t ,i "k ( no in/ance among ! mo/ intimate records ( ! human he>t1 9 :i* life 0 fac$ ) su* spl5did c\rage z x 0 by ,*>lotte ,bronte4 ,x conta9$ s _m ?+s :i* %e desir$--art1 beauty1 ?\ght1 peace1 deep & t5d] relations1 & ! supreme cr[n ( love4 ,b %e nev] dream$ ( try+ to escape or %irk h] lot4 ,aft] h] fir/ great success ) ,jane ,eyre1 %e might h liv$ life on h] own l9es2 h] writ+ meant weal? to "o ( h] simple ta/es2 & z h] close/ fri5d said1 if %e _h *os5 to set up a h\se ( h] own1 %e w\ld h be5 gratefully ?ank$ = any k9dness %e might h %[n to h] h\sehold1 in/ead ( be+1 z %e 01 ru?lessly employ$ & ev5 tyrannis$ ov]4 ,consid] h[ a "y au?oress1 ) t spl5did success to h] cr$it1 w\ld n[adays be made mu* ( & t5d$1 begg$ to consult h] own wi%es & make1 h] own arrangem5ts4 ,b ,*>lotte ,bronte hat$ notoriety1 & took h] fame ) a %r9k+ & mode/ amazem5t4 ,%e nev] gave h]self airs1 or display$ any affectation1 or caught at any flatt]y4 ,%e j w5t back to h] tragic home1 & c>ri$ ! burd5 ( h\sekeep+ on h] frail %\ld]s4 ,! simplicity1 ! delicacy1 ! humility ( x all is above praise4 ,if ev] !re 0 a human be+ :o might h plead$ to be excus$ f any gallant battl+ ) life because ( h] bleak1 com=tless1 unhappy surr\nd+s1 & h] own s5sitive temp]am5t1 x 0 ,*>lotte ,bronte4 ,b in/ead ( t %e f\ght sil5tly ) disa/] & unhapp9ess1 nei!r pity+ h]self = h] de/9y1 nor tak+ ! smalle/ cr$it = h] t\gh resi/ance4 ,x does n necess>ily prove t all c wage s equal a fight ) fe>s & sorr[s2 b x %[s at lea/ t an indomitable resolution c make a noble ?+ out ( a life f :i* e circum/ance ( romance & dignity seems to be purposely )drawn4 ,i d n ?9k t !re is 9 lit]ature a m inspir+ & he>t5+ book ?an ,mrs4 ,gaskell's ,life ( ,*>lotte ,bronte4 ,! book 0 writt5 ) a f9e frankness & a d>+ indiscretion :i* co/ ,mrs4 ,gaskell v de>4 ,x rema9s z "o ( ! mo/ mat*less & spl5did pres5tm5ts ( duty & passion & g5ius1 wag+ a p]fectly undaunt$ fight ) life & temp]am5t1 & c>ry+ (f ! spoils n only ( undy+ fame1 b ! f> m supreme cr[n ( moral =ce4 ,*>lotte ,bronte nev] d\bt$ t %e _h be5 set 9 ! =efront ( ! battle1 & t h] fir/ conc]n 0 ) ! issues ( life & sorr[ & dea?4 ,%e di$ at ?irty-eight1 at a "t :5 _m m5 & wom5 h h>dly got a firm hold ( life at all1 or h p>t$ ) weak illusions4 ,yet ye>s be=e %e _h said /]nly to a fri5d :o 0 m$itat+ a flight f h>d conditions ( life3 ,! "r c\rse is t :i* necessitates ! greate/ sacrifice ( self-int]e/4 ,_m p c\ld h said t1 b ,i "k no figure :o m rel5tlessly & loyally c>ri$ out ! pr9ciple ?an ,*>lotte ,bronte1 or :o wag$ a m vigor\s & t5aci\s battle ) e onset ( fe>4 ,my consci5ce tells me1 %e once wrote ab\t an anxi\s decision1 t x w\ld be ! act ( a moral poltroon to let ! fe> ( suff]+ /& 9 ! way ( improvem5t4 ,b suff] ,i %all4 ,no matt]6 ,,xiv ,,john ,,/]l+ ,i believe t ! mo/ affect+1 beautiful1 & grave message ev] writt5 f a dea?-b$ is ,john ,/]l+'s la/ lett] to ,c>lyle4 ,x reflects1 p]haps1 some?+ ( ,c>lyle's own f9e mann]1 b !n ,/]l+ _h long be5 ,c>lyle's fri5d & confidant4 ,be=e ,i give x1 let me add a brief acc\nt ( ,/]l+4 ,he 0 "s t5 ye>s ,c>lyle's junior1 ! son ( ! r$\btable ,edw>d ,/]l+1 ! lead]-writ] ( ! ,times1 a man :o 9 8 day wield$ a mighty influ5ce4 ,c>lyle describes ! fa!r's way ( life1 h[ he sp5t ! day 9 go+ ab\t ,london1 roll+ into clubs1 volubly que/ion+ & talk+2 !n return$ home 9 ! ev5+1 & cond5s$ x all into a lead]1 & is f\nd1 said ,c>lyle1 to h hit ! ess5tial purport ( ! _w's immeasurable babblem5t t day ) an accuracy above all o!r m54 ,! y\ng] ,/]l+1 ,c>lyle's fri5d1 0 at ,cambridge = a "t1 b nev] took 8 degree2 he became a j\rnali/1 wrote a novel1 tales1 plays1 endless poems--all ( ?9 & vapid quality4 ,8 brief life1 = he di$ at ?irty-eight1 0 a mu* disquiet$ "o2 he travell$ ab\t 9 se>* ( heal?1 = he 0 e>ly ?reat5$ ) consumption2 = a %ort "t he 0 a curate 9 ! ,engli% ,*ur*1 b drift$ away f t4 ,he liv$ = a "t at ,falm\?1 & aft]w>ds at ,v5tnor4 ,he mu/ h be5 a man ( extraord9>y *>m1 & ) q unequall$ p[]s ( conv]sation4 ,ev5 ,c>lyle seems to h he>d him gladly1 & t is no ord9>y complim5t1 consid]+ ,c>lyle's own volubility1 & ! agonies1 occasionally suppress$ b g5]ally tr5*antly express$1 ) :i* ,c>lyle li/5$ to o!r well-kn[n talk]s l ,col]idge & ,macaulay4 ,c>lyle c]ta9ly _h a v deep affection & admiration = ,/]l+2 he ra9s d[n praises ^u him1 9 t wond]ful little biography1 :i* is probably ! f9e/ piece ( "w t ,c>lyle ev] did4 ,he speaks ( ,/]l+ z brilliant1 beautiful1 *e]ful ) an ev]-fl[+ weal? ( ideas1 fancies1 imag9ations 4 4 4 ) frank affections1 inexhau/ible hopes1 audacities1 activities1 & g5]al radiant vivacity ( he>t & intellig5ce1 :i* made ! pres5ce ( him an illum9ation & inspiration :]ev] he w5t4 ,b all ,c>lyle's love & admiration = 8 fri5d did n induce him to praise ,/]l+'s writ+s2 he look$ ^u him z a poet1 b )\t ! gift ( expression4 ,he says t all ,/]l+'s "w 0 spoilt by ov]-ha/e1 & a lack ( due in]tia4 ,! fact is t ,/]l+ 0 a sort ( improvisatore1 & :at 0 beautiful & natural en\gh :5 p\r$ out 9 talk1 & ) ! /imulus ( cong5ial company1 grew pale & indi/9ct :5 he wrote x d[n2 he _h1 9 fact1 no in/9ct = art or = design1 & he fail$ :5ev] he tri$ to m\ld ideas into =m4 ,! %ad[ ( illness d>k5$ ab\t him1 & he sp5t long p]iods 9 pro/rate seclusion1 t5d$ by 8 wife & *ildr51 unable to write or talk or receive 8 fri5ds4 ,!n a t]rible calamity befell him4 ,8 "m1 to :om he 0 devot$ly atta*$1 di$ aft] a long illness1 ,/]l+ n be+ all[$ to g to h]1 or to leave 8 own sick-room4 ,he receiv$ ! news "o morn+ by lett]1 t all 0 ov]1 w5t 9 to tell 8 wife1 :o 0 ill2 :ile !y 7 talk+1 8 wife became fa9t1 & di$ two h\rs lat]4 ,s t )9 a few h\rs he lo/ ! two human be+s :om he mo/ devot$ly lov$1 & on :om he mo/ dep5d$ = sympa?y & help4 ,b 9 all ,/]l+'s sorr[s & illnesses1 he nev] seems to h lo/ 8 int]e/ 9 life & ?\ght1 9 ideas1 que/ions1 & problems4 ,aga9 & aga9 he came back to ! surface1 ) an irrepressible ze/ & fre%ness1 & ev5 gaiety1 until at la/ all hope ( life 0 ext+ui%$4 ,he lay dy+ = _m weeks1 & x 0 !n t he wrote 8 la/ lett] to ,c>lyle1 :i* mu/ be giv5 9 full3-- ,,hillside1 ,,v5tnor1 #aj? ,augu/ #ahdd4 ,,my ,,de> ,,c>lyle1--,= ! fir/ "t = _m mon?s x seems possible to s5d y a few words2 m]ely1 h[ev]1 = ,remembrance & ,f>ewell4 ,on high] matt]s !re is no?+ to say4 ,i tread ! common road into ! great d>kness1 )\t any ?\ght ( fe>1 & ) v mu* ( hope4 ,c]ta9ty inde$ ,i h none4 ,) reg>d to y & me ,i _c beg9 to write2 hav+ no?+ = x b to keep %ut ! lid ( ^? secrets ) all ! iron weights t are 9 my p[]4 ,t[>ds me x is /ill m true ?an t[>ds ,engl& t no man has be5 & done l y4 ,heav5 bless y6 ,if ,i c l5d a h& :5 ,,!re1 t w n be want+4 ,x is all v /range1 b n "o hundr$? "p s sad z x seems to ! /&]s-by4 ,y\r ,wife kn[s my m9d t[>ds h]1 & w believe x )\t assev]ations4--,y\rs to ! la/1 ,,john ,,/]l+4 ,t lett] may speak = itself4 ,9 its dignity1 its nobl5ess1 its fe>lessness1 x is "o ( ! f9e/ human docum5ts ,i "k4 ,b let x be rememb]$ t x is n ! lett] ( a m\rnful & he>t-brok5 man1 turn+ 8 back on life 9 an ec/asy ( despair2 b ! lett] ( "o :o _h tak5 a b\ndless delight 9 life1 _h kn[n ^u equal t]ms mo/ ( ! f9e/ intellects ( ! day1 & _h be5 frankly recognis$ by !m z a *os5 _s4 ,all ,/]l+'s designs = life & "w _h be5 sl[ly & surely ?w>t$ by ! pressure ( hopeless illness2 yet he _h nev] compla9$ or frett$ or brood$1 or indulg$ 9 any bitt] recrim9ations aga9/ 8 de/9y4 ,t seems to me a v h]oic attitude2 :ile ! lett] itself1 9 its p]fect frankness & c\rage1 )\t a t\* ( solemnity or affectation1 or any trace ( crav5 %r9k+ f 8 doom1 makes x 9 its noble simplicity "o ( ! f9e/ la/ words t ,i h ev] read1 & f9]1 ,i v]ily believe1 ?an any flight ( poetical imag9ation4 ,a few days lat] he s5t ,c>lyle "s /anzas ( v]se1 writt51 says ,c>lyle1 z if 9 />-fire & immortal te>s2 :i* are among my sacr$ possessions1 to be kept = myself alone4 ,a few weeks be=e he wrote 8 la/ lett] to ,c>lyle1 ,/]l+ _h writt5 a lett] to 8 son1 :o 0 !n a boy at s*ool 9 ,london4 ,9 t he says3 ,:5 ,i fancy h[ y are walk+ 9 ! same /reets1 & mov+ along ! same riv]1 t ,i us$ to wat* s int5tly1 z if 9 a dream1 :5 y\ng] ?an y are--,i c\ld gladly bur/ into te>s1 n ( grief1 b ) a feel+ t !re is no "n =4 ,ev]y?+ is s wond]ful1 great & holy1 s sad & yet n bitt]1 s full ( ,dea? & s bord]+ on ,heav54 ,c y und]/& any?+ ( ?is8 ,if y c1 y w beg9 to "k :at a s]i\s matt] our ,life is2 h[ unwor?y & /upid x is to trifle x away )\t he$2 :at a wret*$1 insignificant1 wor?less creature anyone comes to be1 :o does n z soon z possible b5d 8 :ole /r5g?1 z 9 /r++ a /iff b[1 to do+ :atev] task lies fir/ be=e him4 ,t aga9 is a noble lett]2 b ov] x ,i ?9k !re lies a little %ad[ ( regret1 a s5se t he _h himself wa/$ "s ( ! =ce ( life 9 vague trifl+2 b ev5 t mood _h pass$ away 9 ! ne>ness ( ! great imp5d+ *ange1 leav+ him upborne ^u ! greatness ( ,god1 9 deep wond] & hope1 kn[+ no?+ m1 9 8 we>9ess & 8 suff]+1 b ! calmness ( ! ,et]nal ,w4 ,,xv ,,in/9ctive ,,fe> ,! fe>s !n f :i* m5 suff]1 & ev5 ! greate/ m5 n lea/1 seem to be /rangely complicat$ by ! fact t nature does n seem to "w z fa/ 9 ! physical _w z 9 ! m5tal _w4 ,! mosquitoes ( ,s\? ,am]ican swamps are all fitt$ ) a p]fect tool-box ( implem5ts = pi]c+ ! hides ( w>m-blood$ animals & draw+ blood1 al?\gh w>m-blood$ animals h long ceas$ to exi/ 9 ^? localities4 ,b z ! mosquito is "o ( ! few creatures :i* c propagate its k9d )\t ev] p>tak+ ( food1 ! mosquito has !re=e n di$ out2 & ?\gh = _m g5]ations billions ^u billions ( mosquitoes h nev] _h a *ance ( do+ :at !y seem born to d1 !y h n disc>d$ _! app>atus4 ,if mosquitoes c\ld reason & philosophise1 ! prospect ( su* a meal might rema9 z a f>-(f & inspir+ ideal ( life & conduct1 a ?+ :i* h]oes 9 ! pa/ _h a*iev$1 & :i* might be possible aga9 if !y rema9$ true to _! highe/ in/9cts4 ,s x is ) humanity4 ,_m ( our fe>s d n correspond to any real dang]2 !y are "p ( a panoply :i* we inh]it1 & h to d ) ! in/9ct ( self-pres]vation4 ,we are expos$ to dang]s /ill1 dang]s ( infection = in/ance1 b we h develop$ no in/9ctive fe> :i* helps u to recognise ! pres5ce ( infection4 ,we take rational precautions aga9/ x :5 we recognise x1 b ! va/ preval5ce & mortality ( consumption a g5]ation or two ago 0 due to ! fact t m5 did n recognise consumption z infecti\s2 & _m f9e lives--,keats & ,emily ,bronte1 to "n b two--7 sacrific$ to c>eless proximity z well z to devot$ t5dance2 b "h nature1 ) all h] in/9ct ( self-pres]vation1 did n hang out any dang] signal1 or provide human be+s ) any in/9ctive fe> to protect !m4 ,our in/9ctive fe>s1 su* z our fe> ( d>kness & solitude1 & our suspicion ( /rang]s1 seem to date f a "t :5 su* conditions 7 really dang]\s1 ?\gh !y are s no long]4 ,at ! same "t ! developm5t ( ! imag9ative faculty has br\ght ) x a :ole s]ies ( new t]rors1 ?r\gh our p[] ( anticipat+ & pictur+ possible calamities2 :ile our increas$ s5sitiv5ess z well z our m s5tim5tal morality expose u to yet ano!r range ( fe>s4 ,consid] ! dread :i* _m ( u feel at ! prospect ( a pa9ful int]view1 our avoidance ( an unpleasant sc5e1 our t]ror ( ar\s+ ang]4 ,! basis ( all ?is is ! primeval dread ( p]sonal viol5ce4 ,we are afraid ( ar\s+ ang]1 n because we expect to be assail$ by bl[s & w\nds1 b because our f>-(f ance/ors expect$ ang] to end 9 an actual assault4 ,we may "k t we %all em]ge f an unpleasant int]view unsca!d 9 =tune & 9 limb1 b we anticipate x ) a q irrational t]ror1 because we are /ill haunt$ by fe>s :i* date f a "t :5 injury 0 ! natural outcome ( wra?4 ,x may be our duty1 & we may recognise x to be our duty1 to make a prote/ ( an unpleasant k9d1 or to )/& ! action ( an irritable p]son2 b ?\gh we "k well en\gh t he has no p[] to injure u1 ! fla%+ eye1 ! di/5d$ no/ril1 ! ris+ pallor1 ! uplift$ voice h a disagreeable effect on our n]ves1 al?\gh we "k well t no physical disa/] w result f x4 ,mrs4 ,br[n+1 = in/ance1 ?\gh %e _h high moral c\rage & t5acity ( purpose1 c\ld n face an int]view ) h] fa!r1 because an exhibition ( 8 ang] caus$ h] to fa9t away on ! spot4 ,"o does n (t5 exp]i5ce ?is :iff ( viol5t ang] 9 middle life2 b ! o!r day ,i _h occasion to speak to a colleague ( m9e on a ,bo>d ( :i* ,i am a memb]1 at ! conclusion ( a piece ( bus9ess 9 :i* ,i _h propos$ & c>ri$ a c]ta9 policy4 ,i did n "k t he disapprov$ ( ! policy 9 "q1 b ,i f\nd on speak+ to him t he 0 9 a t[]+ passion at my hav+ oppos$ ! policy :i* he pref]r$4 ,he grew pale ) rage2 ! hair on 8 head seem$ to bri/le1 8 eyes fla%$ fire2 he slamm$ d[n a bundle ( pap]s 9 8 h& on ! table1 he /amp$ ) passion2 & ,i confess t x 0 pr(\ndly di/urb+ & disconc]t+4 ,i felt = a mom5t t sick5+ s5se ( misgiv+ ) :i* z a little boy "o confront$ an angry s*oolma/]4 ,?\gh ,i knew t ,i _h a p]fect "r to my op9ion1 ?\gh ,i recognis$ t my s5sations 7 q irrational1 ,i felt myself confront$ ) some?+ demoniacal & insane1 & ! basis ( x 01 ,i am sure1 physical & n moral t]ror4 ,if ,i _h be5 bulli$ or *a/is$ z a *ild1 ,i %\ld be able to ref] ! discom=t ,i felt to old associations4 ,b ,i feel no d\bt t my emotion 0 some?+ f> m primeval ?an t1 & t ! dumb & atrophi$ s5se ( self-pres]vation 0 at "w4 ,! fe> !n t ,i felt 0 an in/9ctive ?+1 & 0 exp]i5c$ 9 ! inn] nature & n 9 ! rational m9d2 & ! p]plexity ( ! situation arises f ! fact t su* fe> _c be combat$ by rational consid]ations4 ,?\gh no h>m :atev] result$ or c\ld result f su* an int]view1 yet ,i am c]ta9 t ! prospect ( su* an outbreak w\ld make me 9 ! future f> m cauti\s 9 deal+ ) ?is p>ticul> man1 m anxi\s to conciliate him1 & probably m dispos$ to compromise a matt]4 ,su* an incid5t makes "o unpleasantly aw>e ( ! quality ( "o's nature & temp]am5t4 ,x %[s "o t ?\gh "o may h a /rong moral & intellectual s5se ( :at is ! "r & s5sible c\rse to take1 "o may be sadly hamp]$ 9 c>ry+ x out1 by ?is secret & hidd5 in/9ct ( :i* "o may be rationally a%am$1 b :i* is *>act]i/ic ( :at seems to be ! /rong] & m vital "p ( "o's self4 ,! :ole ( civilisation is a combat betwe5 ^! two =ces1 a /ruggle betwe5 ! rational & ! in/9ctive p>ts ( ! m9d4 ,! in/9ctive m9d bids "o foll[ pr(it1 ne$1 advantage1 ! pleasure ( ! mom5t2 ! rational "p ( ! m9d bids "o ab/a91 resi/1 balance cont+5cies1 act 9 accordance ) a moral /&>d4 ,_m su* ab/5tions become a m]e matt] ( habit4 ,if "o is hungry & ?ir/y1 & meets a *ild c>ry+ bread or milk1 "o has no impulse to seize ! food & eat x4 ,"o does n reflect ^u ! possible outcome ( foll[+ ! impulse ( plund]2 x simply does n ent] "o's head s to act4 ,& !re is ( c\rse a sl[ process go+ on 9 ! _w by :i* ?is moral re/ra9t is becom+ habitual & in/9ctive2 b notably 9 ! case ( fe> our in/9ct is a belat$ "o1 & results 9 _m causeless & baseless anxieties :i* our reason 9 va9 assures u are :olly false4 ,:at !n is our practical way ( escape f ! dom9ion ( ^! %ad[s8 ,n1 ,i am sure1 9 any resolute attempt to combat !m by rational weapons2 ! rational argum5t1 ! common-s5se consolation1 only t\*es ! rational "p ( ! m9d2 we h got to get beh9d & bel[ t1 we h got someh[ to fight in/9ct by in/9ct1 & quell ! t]ror 9 its prop] home4 ,by our f9ite nature we are compell$ to att5d to "o ?+ at a "t1 & ?us if we use rational argum5t1 we are recognis+ ! pres5ce ( ! irrational fe>2 x is ( little use !n to array our advantages aga9/ our disadvantages1 our bless+s aga9/ our suff]+s1 z ,mi*ael ,f9sbury did ) su* small effect 9 ,! ,wrong ,box2 our only *ance is to turn tail altoge!r1 & try to set "s o!r dom9ant in/9ct at "w2 :ile we rememb]1 we %all cont9ue to suff]2 our be/ *ance lies 9 =gett+1 & we c only d t by call+ "s o!r dom9ant emotion into play4 ,& "h comes 9 ! peculi>ly p>alys+ effect ( ^! bas] emotions4 ,z ,victor ,hugo once said1 9 a f9e apoph!gm1 ,despair yawns4 ,fe> & anxiety br+ ) !m a p>ticul> k9d ( physical fatigue :i* makes u li/less & in]t4 ,!y lie on ! _s ) a lead5 dullness1 :i* takes f u all possibility ( en]gy & motion4 ,:o does n "k ! in/9ct1 :5 "o is cru%$ & tortur$ by depression1 to escape into solitude & sil5ce1 & to let ! waves & /reams fl[ ov] "o4 ,t is a univ]sal in/9ct1 & x is n :olly to be disreg>d$2 x %[s t to torture oneself into rational activity is ( little use1 or worse ?an useless4 ,:5 ,i 0 myself a suff]] f long n]v\s depression1 & _h to face a social ga!r+1 ,i us$ out ( v %ame1 & p>tly ,i ?9k out ( a s5se ( c\rtesy due to o!rs1 to galvanise myself into a sort ( horrid m]rim5t4 ,! d>k tide fl[$ on b5ea? 9 its sore & a*+ *annels4 ,x 0 common en\gh !n = "s sympa!tic fri5d to say1 ,y seem$ bett] to-night--y 7 q y\rself2 t is :at y want2 if y w\ld only make ! ef=t & g out m into society1 y w\ld soon =get y\r tr\bles4 ,!re is some?+ 9 x1 because ! sick m9d mu/ be p]suad$ if possible n to grave its dolor\s c\rse too indelibly 9 ! temp]am5t2 b no "o else c\ld see ! acute & intol]able reaction :i* us$ to foll[ su* a /ra91 or h[1 ! excitem5t ov]1 ! suff]+ resum$ its sway ov] ! exhau/$ self ) an insupportable agony4 ,i am sure t 9 my long affliction ,i nev] suff]$ m ?an aft] occasions :5 ,i 0 betray$ by excitem5t into argum5t or lively talk1 & ! wor/ spasms ( melan*oly t ,i ev] endur$ 7 ! direct & imm$iate results ( su* ef=ts4 ,! c\nt]act+ =ce 9 fact mu/ be an emotional & in/9ctive "o1 n a rational & delib]ate "o2 & ?is mu/ be our next endeav\r1 to see 9 :at direction ! c\nt]poise mu/ lie4 ,9 depression !n1 & :5 causeless fe>s assail u1 we mu/ try to put ! m9d 9 easi] po/ures1 to avoid excess & /ra91 to live m 9 company1 to d some?+ diff]5t4 ,human be+s are happie/ 9 monotony & settl$ ways ( life2 b ^! also develop _! own poisons1 l sam5ess ( diet1 h[ev] :olesome x may be4 ,x is1 ,i believe1 an e/abli%$ fact t mo/ p _c eat a pigeon a day = f\rte5 days 9 succession2 a pigeon is n un:olesome1 b ! dige/ion _c /& it]ation4 ,!re is an old & homely /ory ( a man :o w5t to a great doctor suff]+ f dyspepsia4 ,! doctor ask$ him :at he ate1 & he said t he always lun*$ (f bread & *eese4 ,try a mutton *op1 said ! doctor4 ,he did s ) excell5t results4 ,a ye> lat] he 0 ill aga9 & w5t to ! same doctor1 :o put him ?r\gh ! same cate*ism4 ,:at d y h = lun*eon8 said ! doctor4 ,a *op1 said ! pati5t1 consci\s ( virtu\s ob$i5ce4 ,try bread & *eese1 said ! doctor4 ,:y1 said ! pati5t1 t 0 ! v ?+ y told me to avoid4 ,yes1 said ! doctor1 & ,i tell y to avoid a *op n[4 ,y1 are suff]+ n f diet1 b f monotony ( diet--& y want a *ange4 ,! pr9ciple holds good ( ord9>y life2 x is humiliat+ to confess x1 b ^! depressions & despond5cies :i* beset u are (t5 be/ met by v ord9>y physical rem$ies4 ,x is n uncommon = p :o suff] f !m to exam9e _! consci5ces1 rake up =gott5 transgressions1 & feel !mselves to be "u ! ang] ( ,god4 ,i d n mean t su* scrut9y ( life is :olly undesirable2 depression1 ?\gh x exagg]ates our s9fulness1 has a wond]ful way ( lay+ its f+] on :at is amiss1 b we mu/ n wilfully cont9ue 9 sadness2 & sadness is (t5 a comb9ation ( an old in/9ct ) ! /al5ess :i* comes ( civilis$ life2 & a return to nature1 z x is call$1 is (t5 a cure1 because civilisation has ?is disadvantage1 t x (t5 takes f u ! necessity ( do+ _m ( ! ?+s :i* x is normal to man by inh]itance to d--fight+1 hunt+1 prep>+ food1 work+ ) ! h&s4 ,we combat ^! old in/9cts artificially by games & ex]cises4 ,x is humiliat+ aga9 to ?9k t golf is an artificial sub/itute = man's ne$ to hunt & pl\gh1 b x is und\bt$ly true2 & ?us to break ) ! monotony ( civilisation1 & to delude ! m9d into believ+ t x is occupi$ ) primal ne$s is (t5 a great refre%m5t4 ,anyone :o fi%es & %oots kn[s t ! joy ( secur+ a fi% or a p>tridge is entirely out ( proportion to any advantages result+4 ,a lawy] c\ld make money en\gh 9 a s+le week to buy ! :ole cont5ts ( a fi%mong]'s %op1 b ?is does n give him half ! satisfaction :i* comes f fi%+ day aft] day = a :ole week1 & secur+ p]haps ?ree salmon4 ,! fact is t ! old savage m9d1 :i* lies beh9d ! rational & educat$ m9d1 is hav+ its fl+2 x believes itself to be /av+ (f />vation by its +5uity & skill1 & x unb5ds l a loos5$ b[4 ,we may be enjoy+ our "w1 & we may ev5 take glad refuge 9 x to /ave (f depression1 b we are !n (t5 add+ fuel to ! fire1 & tir+ ! v faculty ( resi/ance1 :i* h>dly kn[s t x ne$s re/+4 ,! smalle/ *ange ( sc5e1 ( company1 ( "w may effect a miracul\s improvem5t :5 we are feel+ l[-spirit$ & li/less4 ,x is n idl5ess z a rule t we want1 b ! use ( o!r faculties & p[]s & muscles4 ,& ?us ?\gh our anxieties may be a real factor 9 our success1 & may give u ! t\* ( prud5ce & vigilance we want1 x does n d to all[ ourselves to drift into vague fe>s & dull depressions1 & we mu/ fight !m 9 a practical way4 ,we mu/ rememb] ! case ( ,naaman1 :o 0 vex$ at be+ told to g & dip himself 9 a mud-/a9$ /ream runn+ viol5tly 9 rocky places1 :5 he might h wa%$ 9 ,abana & ,ph>p>1 ! /ateli]1 pur]1 full] /reams ( 8 native l&4 ,x is j ! little homely torr5t t we ne$1 & "p ( our c>es come f be+ too dignifi$ ab\t !m4 ,x is pleasant] to ?9k oneself ! battle-gr\nd = high & tragical =ces ( a spiritual k9d1 ?an to realise t "s little homely bit ( common ma*9]y is out ( ge>4 ,b we mu/ resi/ ! temptation to feel t our fe>s h a d>k & great significance4 ,we mu/ simply treat !m z little sicknesses & ailm5ts ( ! s\l4 ,i !re=e believe t fe>s are l ^? little fugitive glid+ ?+s t seem to d>t across ! field ( ! eye :5 x is weak & ail+1 vague clu/]s & tangles & spid]y webs1 t float & fly1 & c nev] be fix$ & truly se52 & t !y are be/ treat$ z we le>n to treat common ailm5ts1 by n conc]n+ ourselves v mu* ab\t !m1 by endur+ & evad+ !m & di/ract+ ! m9d1 & n by fac+ !m1 because !y w n be fac$2 nor c !y be dispell$ by reason1 because !y are n 9 ! plane ( reason at all1 b phantoms ga!r$ by ! sick imag9ation1 di/ort$ out ( _! prop] %ape1 evil nightm>es1 ! horror ( :i* is gone ) ! dawn4 ,!y are ! %ad[s ( our *ildi%ness1 & !y %[ t we h a long j\rney be=e u2 & !y ga9 _! /r5g? f ! fact t we ga!r !m toge!r out ( ! future l ! bundle ( /icks 9 ! fable1 :5 we %all h ! /r5g? to snap !m s+ly z !y come4 ,! real way to fight !m is to get toge!r a treasure ( int]e/s & hopes & beautiful visions & emotions1 & above all to h "s def9ite "w :i* lies ap>t f our daily "w1 to :i* we c turn gladly 9 empty h\rs2 because fe>s are born ( inaction & idl5ess1 & melt ins5sibly away 9 ! w>m? ( lab\r & duty4 ,no?+ c really hurt u except our own despair4 ,b ! problem :i* is difficult is h[ to practise a real fulness ( life1 & yet to keep a c]ta9 deta*m5t1 h[ to realise t :at we d is small & petty en\gh1 b t ! greatness lies 9 our en]gy & briskness ( action2 we %\ld try to be int]e/$ 9 life z we are int]e/$ 9 a game1 n believ+ too mu* 9 ! importance ( x1 b yet int5sely conc]n$ at ! mom5t 9 play+ x z well & skilfully z possible4 ,! happie/ p ( all are ^? :o c %ift _! int]e/ rapidly f po9t to po9t1 & ?r[ !mselves into ! act ( ! mom5t1 :atev] x may be4 ,( c\rse ?is is l>gely at fir/ a matt] ( temp]am5t1 b temp]am5t is n unalt]able2 & self-discipl9e work+ along ! l9es ( habit has a great attractiv5ess1 ! mom5t we feel t life is beg9n+ to %ape itself ^u real l9es4 ,,xvi ,,fe> ,,( ,,life ,let u divide our fe>s up into def9ite divisions1 & see h[ x is be/ to deal ) !m4 ,l[e/ & wor/ ( all is ! %apeless & bodiless fe>1 :i* is a real disease ( bra9 & n]ves4 ,i "k no m poignant description ( ?is ?an 9 ! /range book ,lav5gro3 ',:at ails y1 my *ild1' said a "m to h] son1 z he lay on a c\* "u ! influ5ce ( ! dreadful "o2 ':at ails y8 y seem afraid6' ,boy4 ,& s ,i am2 a dreadful fe> is ^u me4 ,"m4 ,b ( :at8 !re is no "o c h>m y2 ( :at are y appreh5sive8 ,boy4 ,( no?+ t ,i c express2 ,i "k n :at ,i am afraid (1 b afraid ,i am4 ,"m4 ,p]haps y see sights & visions2 ,i knew a lady once :o 0 cont9ually ?9k+ t %e saw an arm$ man ?reat5 h]1 b x 0 only an imag9ation1 a phantom ( ! bra94 ,boy4 ,no arm$ man ?reat5s me2 & 'tis n a ?+ t w\ld cause me any fe>4 ,did an arm$ man ?reat5 me1 ,i w\ld get up & fight him2 weak z ,i am1 ,i w\ld wi% = no?+ bett]1 = !n1 p]haps1 ,i %\ld lose ?is fe>2 m9e is a dread ( ,i "k n :at1 & !re ! horror lies4 ,"m4 ,y\r =ehead is cool1 & y\r spee* collect$4 ,d y "k :]e y are8 ,boy4 ,i "k :]e ,i am1 & ,i see ?+s j z !y are2 y are beside me1 & ^u ! table !re is a book :i* 0 writt5 by a ,flor5t9e4 ,all ?is ,i see1 & t !re is no gr\nd = be+ afraid4 ,i am1 moreov]1 q cool1 & feel no pa9--b--b-- ,& !n !re 0 a bur/ ( 'gemiti1 sospiri ed alti guai4' ,alas1 alas1 poor *ild ( clay6 z ! sp>ks fly upw>d1 s wa/ ?\ born to sorr[--,onw>d6 ,t is a description ( amaz+ p[]1 b ( c\rse we are "h deal+ ) a def9ite bra9-malady1 9 :i* ! emotional c5tres are directly affect$4 ,?is 9 a less] degree no d\bt affects m p ?an "o w\ld wi% to ?9k2 b x may be consid]$ a physical malady ( :i* fe> is ! symptom & n ! cause4 ,let u !n frankly recognise ! physical elem5t 9 ^! irrational t]rors2 & :5 "o has once done ?is1 a great burd5 is tak5 (f ! m9d1 because "o sees t su* fe> may be a real illusion1 a sort ( gha/ly mock]y1 :i* by directly affect+ ! delicate ma*9]y ?r\gh :i* emotion is translat$ into act1 may produce a symptom ( t]ror :i* is bo? causeless & baseless1 & :i* may imply nei!r a lack ( c\rage nor self-control4 ,&1 !re=e1 ,i feel1 z aga9/ ! ,ascetic & ! ,/oic1 t ,i am meant to live & to ta/e ! fulness ( life2 & t if ,i beg9 by *oos+ ! wrong joys1 x is t ,i may le>n _! unreality4 ,i h le>n$ already to compromise ab\t _m ?+s1 to be cont5t ) gett+ mu* less ?an ,i desire1 to acquiesce 9 miss+ _m good ?+s altoge!r4 ,b asceticism = ! sake ( prud5ce seems to me a wilful error1 z ?\gh a man practis$ />vation ?r\gh uneasy days1 because ( ! *ance t he might "s day f9d himself ) n en\gh to eat4 ,! only self-d5ial wor? practis+ is ! self-d5ial t "o admires1 & t seems to "o to be f9e & beautiful4 ,= we mu/ emphatically rememb] t ! sa9t is "o :o lives life ) high enjoym5t1 & ) a vital ze/2 he *ooses hol9ess because ( its irresi/ible beauty1 & because ( ! appeal x makes to 8 m9d4 ,he does n creep ?r\gh life a%am$1 depress$1 anxi\s1 lett+ ord9>y delights slip ?r\gh 8 n]veless f+]s2 & if he d5ies himself common pleasures1 x is because1 if indulg$1 !y ?w>t & m> 8 pur] & m lively joys4 ,! fe> ( life1 ! frame ( m9d :i* says1 ,?is attractive & *>m+ ?+ captivates me1 b ,i w mi/ru/ x & keep x at arm's l5g?1 because if ,i lose x1 ,i %all exp]i5ce discom=t1 seems to me a poor & timid h&l+ ( life4 ,i w\ld r say1 ,i w use x g5]\sly & freely1 kn[+ t x may n endure2 b x is a sign to me ( ,god's c>e = me1 t ,he gives me ! desire & ! gratification2 & ev5 if ,he means me to le>n t x is only a small ?+1 ,i c le>n t only by us+ x & try+ its sweetness4 ,?is may be held a dang]\s doctr9e2 b ,i d n mean t life mu/ be a fooli% & +5u\s indulg5ce ( e appetite & :im4 ,"o mu/ make *oices2 & !re are _m appetites :i* come h& 9 h& ) _! own %ad[4 ,i am n "h speak+ ( tamp]+ ) s92 ,i ?9k t mo/ p burn _! f+]s ov] t 9 e>ly life4 ,b ,i am speak+ r ( ! delights ( ! body t are 9 no way s9ful1 food & dr9k1 games & ex]cise1 love itself2 & ( ! joys ( ! m9d & ! arti/ic s5se2 free & op5 relations ) m5 & wom5 ( ke5 int]e/s & eag] fancies2 ! delights ( "w1 pr(essional success1 ! do+ ( pleasant tasks z vigor\sly & z p]fectly z "o c--all ! /ir & motion & delight ( life4 ,to %r9k back 9 t]ror f all ?is seems to me a sort ( c[>dice2 & x is a c[>dice too to g on indulg+ 9 ?+s :i* "o does n enjoy = ! sake ( social tradition4 ,"o mu/ n be afraid ( break+ ) social cu/om1 if "o f9ds t x leads "o into dre>y & useless =malities1 /upid & exp5sive ent]ta9m5ts1 tiresome ga!r+s1 dull & futile assemblies4 ,i ?9k t m5 & wom5 ought gaily & delight$ly to *oose ! ?+s t m9i/] to _! vig\r & joy1 & to ?r[ !mselves will+ly into ^! ?+s1 s long z !y d n int]f]e ) pla9] & simpl] duties4 ,ano!r way ( escape f ! importunities ( fe> is to be v resolute 9 fight+ aga9/ our p]sonal claims to hon\r & e/eem4 ,we are sorely w\nd$ ?r\gh our ambitions1 :e!r !y be petty or great2 & x is a/oni%+ to f9d h[ frail a basis (t5 s]ves = a s5se ( dignity4 ,i h kn[n l[ly & unimportant p :o 7 yet full ( pragmatical self-conc]n1 & ^: pride took ! =m n s mu* ( exalt+ _! own consequ5ce z ( ?9k+ meanly ( o!r p4 ,x is easy to re/ore "o's own confid5ce by dwell+ ) bitt] emphasis on ! faults & fail+s ( ^? ab\t "o1 by catalogu+ ! defici5cies ( ^? :o h a*iev$ success1 by accu/om+ oneself to ?9k ( "o's own lack ( success z a sign ( unworldl9ess1 & by attribut+ ! success ( o!rs to a cynical & unscrupul\s pursuit ( reputation4 ,!re is no?+ 9 ! _w :i* s diff]5tiates m5 & wom5 z ! t5d5cy to suspect & p]ceive affronts1 & to nurture grievances4 ,x is s fatally easy to ?9k t "o has be5 inconsid]ately treat$1 & to mi/ake susceptibility = c\rage4 ,let u boldly face ! fact t we get 9 ?is _w v mu* :at we e>n & des]ve1 & !re is no sur] way ( be+ exclud$ & left out f :atev] is go+ =w>d ?an a habit ( claim+ m respect & def]5ce ?an is due to "o4 ,if we are snubb$ & humiliat$1 x is g5]ally because we h put ourselves =w>d & tak5 m ?an our %>e4 ,:]eas if we h be5 cont5t to be> a h&1 to take tr\ble1 & to desire useful "w r ?an cr$it1 our influ5ce gr[s sil5tly & we become indisp5sable4 ,a man :o does n notice petty grumbl+1 :o laughs away %>p comm5ts1 :o does n brood ov] imag9$ insults1 :o =gets irritable passages1 :o makes all[ance = impati5ce & fatigue1 is s+ul>ly invuln]able4 ,! p[] ( =gett+ is inf9itely m valuable ?an ! p[] ( =giv+1 9 _m conjunctions ( life4 ,9 n9e cases out ( t51 ! w\nds :i* our s5sibilities receive are ! m]e/ p9-pricks1 enl>g$ & frett$ by our own h&s2 we "w ! little ?orn ab\t 9 ! puncture till x fe/]s1 in/ead ( draw+ x out & ca/+ x away4 ,v few ( ! prizes ( life t we covet are wor? w9n+1 if we s*eme to get !m2 x is ! hon\r or ! task t comes to u unexpect$ly t we des]ve4 ,i h he>d discont5t$ m5 say t !y nev] get ! p>ticul> "w t !y desire & = :i* !y feel !mselves to be suit$2 & mean:ile life flies swiftly1 :ile we are pictur+ ourselves 9 all sorts ( covet$ situations1 & slight+ ! peaceful happ9ess1 ! beautiful joys :i* lie all ar\nd u1 z we g =w>d 9 our gre$y rev]ie4 ,i h be5 mu* surpris$1 s9ce ,i began "s ye>s ago to receive lett]s f all sorts ( unkn[n p1 to realise h[ _m p]sons !re are 9 ! _w :o ?9k !mselves unappreciat$4 ,su* are n g5]ally p :o h tri$ & fail$2--an hone/ failure v (t5 br+s a :olesome s5se ( incompet5ce2--b !y are g5]ally p]sons :o ?9k t !y h nev] _h a *ance ( %[+ :at is 9 !m1 speak]s :o h f\nd _! audi5ces unresponsive1 writ]s :o h be5 disc\rag$ by f9d+ _! amateur ef=ts unsaleable1 m5 :o lam5t ! unsuitability ( _! pr(ession to _! abilities1 wom5 :o f9d !mselves liv+ 9 :at !y call a ?or\ghly unsympa!tic circle4 ,! failure "h lies 9 an incapacity to believe 9 "o's own ineffici5cy1 & a /urdy p]suasion ( ! malevol5ce ( o!rs4 ,"h is a soil 9 :i* fe>s spr+ up l ?orns & bri>s4 ,:atev] ,i d or say1 ,i %all be pass$ ov] & slight$1 ,i %all always f9d p det]m9$ to exclude & neglect me6 ,i "k myself1 only too well1 h[ f]tile ! bra9 is 9 discov]+ almo/ any reason = a failure except :at is g5]ally ! real reason1 t ! "w 0 badly done4 ,& ! m eag] "o is = p]sonal recognition & pat5t success1 ! m sick5$ "o is by any h9t ( contempt & d]ision4 ,b x is q possible1 z ,i also "k f p]sonal exp]i5ce1 to g pati5tly & humbly to "w aga91 to face ! reasons = failure1 to le>n to enjoy "w1 to bani% f ! m9d ! uneasy hope ( p]sonal di/9ction4 ,we may try to disc]n ! hum\r ( ,provid5ce1 because ,i am z c]ta9 z ,i c be ( any?+ t we are humor\sly treat$ z well z lov+ly reg>d$4 ,let me relate two small incid5ts :i* did me a great deal ( good at a "t ( self-importance4 ,i 0 once ask$ to give a lecture1 & x 0 widely ann\nc$4 ,i saw my own "n 9 capital lett]s ^u adv]tisem5ts display$ 9 ! /reet4 ,on ! ev5+ appo9t$1 ,i w5t to ! place1 & met ! *airman ( ! meet+ & "s ( ! (ficials 9 a room adjo9+ ! hall :]e ,i 0 to speak4 ,we b[$ & smil$1 paid mutual complim5ts1 congratulat$ ea* o!r on ! importance ( ! occasion4 ,at la/ ! *airman consult$ 8 wat* & said x 0 "t to be beg9n+4 ,a procession 0 =m$1 a door 0 maje/ically ?r[n op5 by an att5dant1 & we walk$ ) inf9ite solemnity on to ! plat=m ( an entirely empty hall1 ) r[s ( b5*es all :olly unfurni%$ ) gue/s4 ,i ?9k x 0 "o ( ! mo/ ludicr\s incid5ts ,i ev] rememb]4 ,! c\rte\s confusion ( ! *airman1 ! dismay ( ! committee1 ! colossal nature ( ! fiasco fill$ me1 ,i am glad to say1 n ) mortification1 b ) an ov]p[]+ desire to laugh4 ,i may add t !re _h be5 a mi/ake ab\t ! ann\ncem5t ( ! h\r1 & t5 m9utes lat] a m9ute audi5ce did arrive1 :om ,i proce$$ to address ) su* _s z ,i c\ld mu/]2 b ,i h always be5 grateful = ! humor\s nature ( ! snub adm9i/]$ to me4 ,aga9 on ano!r occasion ,i _h to pay a visit ( bus9ess to a remote h\se 9 ! c\ntry4 ,a good-natur$ fri5d descant$ ^u ! excitem5t x w\ld be to ! h\sehold to ent]ta9 a liv+ au?or1 & h[ eag]ly my utt]ances w\ld be li/5$ to4 ,i 0 receiv$ n only )\t respect b ) obvi\s bor$om4 ,9 ! c\rse ( ! aft]noon ,i discov]$ t ,i 0 suppos$ to be a solicitor's cl]k1 b :5 a little lat] x transpir$ :at my real occupations 71 ,i 0 n displeas$ to f9d t no memb] ( ! p>ty _h ev] he>d ( my exi/5ce1 or 0 aw>e t ,i _h ev] publi%$ a book1 & :5 ,i 0 que/ion$ z to :at ,i _h writt51 no "o _h ev] come across any?+ t ,i _h pr9t$1 until at la/ ,i so>$ into "s transi5t di/9ction by ! discov]y t my bro!r 0 ! au?or ( ,dodo4 ,i _c help feel+ t !re is some?+ g5tly humor\s ab\t ?is good-hum\r$ indication t ! :ole civilis$ _w is n engag$ 9 ! pursuit ( lit]ature1 & t "o's claims to consid]ation dep5d ^u "o's social m]its4 ,i d hone/ly ?9k t ,provid5ce 0 "h delib]ately pok+ fun at me1 & %[+ me t a habit ( pres5t+ "o's op9ions broadca/ to ! _w does n necess>ily mean t ! _w is mu* aw>e ei!r ( oneself or ( "o's op9ions4 ,! cure !n1 x seems to me1 = p]sonal ambition1 is ! humor\s reflection t ! /ir & hum ( "o's own p>ticul> teetotum is conf9$ to a v small space & range2 & t ! witty description ( ! ,greek politician :o 0 said to be well kn[n ?r\gh\t ! :ole civilis$ _w & at ,lampsacus1 or ( ! philosoph] :o 0 ann\nc$ z ! au?or ( _m epo*-mak+ volumes & z ! second c\s9 ( ! ,e>l ( ,cork1 repres5ts a v real tru?1--t reputation is n a ?+ :i* is wor? bo!r+ "o's head ab\t2 t if x comes1 x is apt to be q z inconv5i5t z x is pleasant1 :ile if "o gr[s to dep5d ^u x1 x is z liable to "p ) its sp>kle z soda-wat] 9 an op5 glass4 ,& !n if "o comes to consid] ! common] claim1 ! claim to be felt & respect$ & reg>d$ 9 "o's own little circle1 x is :olesome & humiliat+ to obs]ve h[ g5]\sly & easily t reg>d is conc$$ to affectionat5ess & k9dness1 & h[ little x is won by any brilliance or %>pness4 ,( c\rse irritable1 quick-temp]$1 sev]e1 discont5t$ p c w9 att5tion easily en\gh1 & acquire ! k9d ( consid]ation :i* is g5]ally conc$$ to anyone :o c be unpleasant4 ,h[ (t5 families & gr\ps are drill$ & caution$ by anxi\s mo!rs & si/]s n to say or d any?+ :i* w vex s-&-s6 ,su* irritable p get ! rooms & ! *airs & ! food t !y l1 & ! talk 9 _! pres5ce is eag]ly kept ^u subjects on :i* !y c hold =?4 ,b h[ little su* reg>d la/s1 & h[ welcome a relief x is1 :5 "o t is ?us c\rt$ & def]r$ to is abs5t6 ,( c\rse if "o is :olly indiff]5t :e!r "o is reg>d$1 ne$$1 miss$1 lov$1 s long z "o c obta9 ! ob$i5ce & ! conv5i5ces "o likes1 !re is no m to be said4 ,b ,i (t5 ?9k ( t wond]ful poem ( ,*ri/9a ,rossetti's ab\t ! rev5ant1 ! _s t returns to ! famili> h\se1 & f9ds himself unregrett$3 ',to-morr[' & 'to-day1' !y cri$2 ,i 0 ( ye/]day6 ,"o sometimes sees1 9 ! faces ( old family s]vants1 9 unreg>d$ eld]ly relatives1 ba*elor uncles1 maid5 aunts1 :o are ent]ta9$ z a duty1 or giv5 a home 9 *>ity1 a v beautiful & t5d] look1 indescribable 9 words b unmi/akable1 :5 x seems z if self1 & p]sonal claims1 & pride1 & complac5cy _h really pass$ out ( ! expression1 leav+ no?+ b a hope ( be+ lov$1 & a desire to d "s humble s]vice4 ,i saw x ! o!r day 9 ! face ( a little old lady1 :o liv$ 9 ! h\se ( a well-to-d c\s91 ) r a bu/l+ & vigor\s family p]vad+ ! place4 ,%e 0 a small frail creature1 ) a tir$ worn face1 b ) no look ( fretfulness or discont5t4 ,%e _h a little attic z a b$room1 & %e 0 n consid]$ 9 any way4 ,%e effac$ h]self1 ate ab\t z mu* z a bird w\ld eat1 seldom spoke1 utt]+ little ejaculations ( surprise & amusem5t at :at 0 said2 if !re 0 a place vacant 9 ! c>riage1 %e drove out4 ,if !re 0 n1 %e /opp$ at home4 ,%e amus$ h]self by go+ ab\t 9 ! village1 talk+ to ! old wom5 & ! *ildr51 :o half lov$ & half despis$ h] = be+ s v unimportant1 & = hav+ no?+ %e c\ld give away4 ,b ,i d n ?9k ! little lady ev] _h a ?\ght except ( gratitude = h] bless+s1 & admiration = ! robu/ness & effici5cy ( h] relations4 ,%e claim$ no?+ f life & expect$ no?+4 ,x seem$ a little frail & vanqui%$ exi/5ce1 & !re 0 n an atom ( :at is call$ prop] pride ab\t h]2 b x 0 f9e1 = all t6 ,an inf9ite sweetness look$ out ( h] eyes2 %e suff]$ a good deal1 b nev] compla9$4 ,%e 0 glad to live1 f\nd ! _w a beautiful & int]e/+ place1 & nev] qu>rell$ ) h] sl5d] %>e ( its m pot5t pleasures4 ,& %e w slip sil5tly out ( life "s day 9 h] attic room2 & be /rangely m\rn$ & miss$4 ,i d n consid] t a failure 9 life1 & ,i am n sure t x is n some?+ mu* m l a triumph4 ,i "k t z ,i wat*$ h] "o ev5+ knitt+ 9 ! corn]1 foll[+ :at 0 said ) int5se enjoym5t1 utt]+ h] little bird-l cries1 ,i ?\ght h[ few ( ! ?+s t c\ld afflict me _h p[] to w\nd h]1 & h[ little %e _h to fe>4 ,i d n ?9k %e want$ to take flight1 b yet ,i am sure %e _h no dread ( dea?2 & :5 %e goes ?i!rw>d1 leav+ ! little tir$ & )]$ frame beh9d1 x w be j z :5 ! cre/$ l>k spr+s up f ! du/ ( ! roadway1 & w+s 8 way into ! he>t ( ! dewy upl&4 ,,xvii ,,simplicity ,if we are to avoid ! d>k onset ( fe>1 we mu/ at all co/s simplify life1 because ! m complicat$ & intricate our life is1 & ! m we multiply our def5ces1 ! m gates & po/]ns !re are by :i* ! enemy c creep ^u u4 ,prop]ty1 com=ts1 habits1 conv5i5ces1 ^! are ! vantage-gr\nds f :i* fe>s c organise _! invasions4 ,! m t we ne$ excitem5t1 di/raction1 div]sion1 ! m helpless we become )\t !m4 ,all ?is is v cle>ly recognis$ & /at$ 9 ! ,gospel4 ,our ,savi\r does n seem to reg>d ! ab&onm5t ( weal? z a necess>y condition ( ! ,*ri/ian life1 b ,he does v di/9ctly say t ri* m5 are beset ) great difficulties ow+ to _! weal?1 & ,he indicates t a man :o tru/s complac5tly 9 8 possessions is tempt$ into a disa/r\s security4 ,he speaks ( lay+ up treasure 9 heav5 z oppos$ to ! treasures :i* m5 /ore up on e>?2 & ,he po9ts out t :5ev] ?+s are put aside unus$1 9 ord] t ! own] may com=t himself by ! ?\ght t !y are !re if he wants !m1 decay & corruption beg9 at once to und]m9e & de/roy !m4 ,:at exactly ! treasure 9 heav5 c be x is h>d to def9e4 ,x _c be any?+ q s sordid z good de$s done = ! sake ( spiritual inve/m5t1 because our ,savi\r 0 v sev]e on ^? :o1 l ! ,ph>isees1 s\ght to acquire righte\sness by scrupulosity4 ,no?+ t is done j = ! sake ( "o's own future b5efit seems to be reg>d$ 9 ! ,gospel z wor? do+4 ,! ess5ce ( ,*ri/ian giv+ seems to be real giv+1 & n a sort ( usuri\s loan4 ,!re is ( c\rse "o v puzzl+ p>able1 t ( ! unju/ /ew>d1 :o us$ 8 la/ h\rs 9 (fice1 be=e ! news ( 8 dismissal c\ld get abroad1 9 *eat+ 8 ma/]1 9 ord] to w9 ! fav\r ( ! debtors by arbitr>ily dim9i%+ ! am\nt ( _! debts4 ,x seems /range t our ,savi\r %\ld h drawn a moral out ( s immoral an incid5t4 ,p]haps ,he 0 us+ a well-kn[n /ory1 & ev5 mak+ all[ances = ! admiration ) :i* 9 ! ,ea/ res\rcefulness1 ev5 ( a fraudul5t k9d1 0 und\bt$ly reg>d$4 ,b ! pr9ciple seems cle> en\gh1 t if ! ,*ri/ian *ooses to possess weal?1 he runs a great risk1 & t x is !re=e wis] to disemb>rass oneself ( x4 ,prop]ty is reg>d$ 9 ! ,gospel z an und\bt$ly dang]\s ?+2 b s f> f our ,"l prea*+ a k9d ( socialism1 & bidd+ m5 to co-op]ate anxi\sly = ! sake ( equalis+ weal?1 ,he recomm5ds an individuali/ic fre$om f ! burd5 ( weal? altoge!r4 ,b1 z always 9 ! ,gospel1 our ,"l looks beh9d practice to motive2 & x is cle> t ! motive = ! ab&onm5t ( weal? is n to be a desire to act ) a selfi% prud5ce1 9 ord] to lay an obligation ^u ,god to repay "o g5]\sly 9 ! future = pres5t sacrifices1 b r ! atta9m5t ( an individual lib]ty1 :i* leaves ! _s free to deal ) ! real int]e/s ( life4 ,& "o mu/ n ov]look ! def9ite promise t if a man seeks virtue fir/1 ev5 at ! co/ ( e>?ly possessions & com=ts1 he w f9d t !y w be add$ z well4 ,^? :o w\ld discr$it ! morality ( ! ,gospel w\ld h "o believe t our ,savi\r 9 deal+ ) %rewd1 homely1 lit]al folk 0 c>eful to promise sub/antial future rew>ds = any worldly sacrifices !y might make2 b n s c ,i read ! ,gospel4 ,our ,savi\r does und\bt$ly say pla9ly t we %all f9d x wor? our :ile to escape f ! burd5s & anxieties ( weal?1 b ! rew>d promis$ seems r to be a lightness & cont5tm5t ( _s1 & a fre$om f heavy & unnecess>y bonds4 ,9 our complicat$ civilisation x is f> m difficult to say :at simplicity ( life is4 ,x is c]ta9ly n t exp5sive & dramatic simplicity :i* is sometimes contriv$ by p ( weal? z a pleasant contra/ to elaborate liv+4 ,i rememb] ! son ( a v weal?y man1 :o _h a great mansion 9 ! c\ntry & a l>ge h\se 9 ,london1 tell+ me t 8 family circle 7 nev] s entirely happy z :5 !y 7 liv+ at close qu>t]s 9 a small ,scot* %oot+-lodge1 :]e _! life 0 comp>atively r\gh1 & luxuries unatta9able4 ,b ,i ga!r$ t ! ma9 delight ( su* a p]iod 0 ! s5se ( lay+ up a /ock ( heal? & fre%ness = ! m luxuri\s life :i* int]v5$4 ,! ,anglo-,saxon naturally loves a k9d ( feudal dignity2 he likes a great h\se1 a cr[d ( s]vants & dep5dants1 ! impression ( p[] & influ5ce :i* x all gives2 & ! delights ( o/5tation1 ( hav+ h&some ?+s :i* "o does n use & inde$ h>dly ev] sees1 ( kn[+ t o!rs are eat+ & dr9k+ at "o's exp5se1 :i* is a ?+ f> remov$ f hospitality1 are de> to ! temp]am5t ( our race4 ,we may say at once t ?is is fatal to any simplicity ( life2 x may be t we _c expect anyone :o is born to su* spl5d\rs delib]ately to =ego !m2 b ,i am sure ( ?is1 t a ri* man1 n[ & "h1 :o spontane\sly p>t$ ) 8 weal?1 & liv$ sp>ely 9 a small h\se1 w\ld make p]haps z p[]ful an appeal to ! imag9ation ( ! ,engli% _w z c\ld well be made4 ,if a man _h a message to deliv]1 !re c\ld be no bett] way ( emphasiz+ x4 ,x mu/ n be a m]e flight f ! anxiety ( worldly life into a m cong5ial seclusion4 ,x %\ld be done z ,francis ( ,assisi did x1 by cont9u+ to live ! life ( ! _w )\t any ( its normal conv5i5ces4 ,pat5t & visible self-sacrifice1 if x be accompani$ by a t5d] love ( humanity1 w always be ! mo/ impressive attitude 9 ! _w4 ,b if "o is n capable ( go+ to su* l5g?s1 if inde$ "o has no?+ t "o c resign1 h[ is x possible to practise simplicity ( life8 ,x c be done by limit+ "o's ne$s1 by avoid+ luxuries1 by hav+ no?+ 9 "o's h\se t "o _c use1 by be+ deta*$ f pret5ti\sness1 by be+ indiff]5t to elaborate com=ts4 ,!re are p :om ,i "k :o d ?is1 & :o1 ev5 ?\gh !y live ) "s degree ( weal?1 are yet !mselves obvi\sly indep5d5t ( com=t to an extraord9>y degree4 ,!re is a ,puritanical dislike ( wa/e :i* is a v diff]5t ?+1 because x (t5 coexi/s ) an extreme atta*m5t to ! p>ticul> /&>d ( com=t t ! man himself pref]s4 ,i "k p :o believe t a sub/antial midday meal & a high tea are m righte\s ?an a simple midday meal & a sub/antial d9n]4 ,b ! "r attitude is "o ( unconc]n & ! abs5ce ( uneasy s*em+ z to ! details ( life4 ,!re is no reason :y p %\ld n =m habits1 because me?od is ! prim>y condition ( "w2 b ! mom5t t habit becomes tyrann\s & elaborate1 !n ! _s is at once 9 bondage to anxiety4 ,! real victory ov] ^! little c>es is n = ev] to h !m on "o's m9d2 or "o becomes l ! bread-&-butt] fly 9 ,?r\gh ! ,look+-,glass1 ^: food 0 weak tea ) cream 9 x4 ,b suppos+ x _c f9d any8 said ,alice4 ,!n x dies1 says ! gnat1 :o is act+ ! "p ( int]pret]4 ,b t mu/ happ5 v (t58 said ,alice4 ,x ,,always happ5s6 says ! gnat ) sombre emphasis4 ,simplicity is1 9 fact1 a difficult ?+ to lay d[n rules =1 because ! ess5ce ( x is t x is free f rules2 & ^? :o talk & ?9k mo/ ab\t x1 are (t5 ! mo/ uneasy & complicat$ natures4 ,b x is c]ta9 t if "o f9ds oneself gr[+ m & m fa/idi\s & p>ticul>1 m & m easily disconc]t$ & put out & hamp]$ by any v>iation f ! exact s*eme ( life t "o pref]s1 ev5 if t s*eme is an app>5tly simple "o1 x is c]ta9 t simplicity is at an end4 ,! real simplicity is a s5se ( be+ at home & at ease 9 any company & mode ( liv+1 & a quiet equanimity ( _s :i* _c be cont5t to wa/e "t ov] ! arrangem5ts ( life4 ,suffici5t food & ex]cise & sleep may be po/ulat$2 b ^! are all to be 9 ! backgr\nd1 & ! real occupations ( life are to be "w & int]e/s & talk & ideas & natural relations ) o!rs4 ,"o kn[s ( h\ses :]e "s trifl+ omission ( detail1 "s failure ( s]vice 9 a meal1 w plunge ! ho/ess into a dumb & incommunicable despair4 ,! slighte/ lapse ( ! conv5tional ord] becomes a cl\d t int]cepts ! sun4 ,b ! "r attitude to life1 if we desire to set ourselves free f ?is self-creat$ torm5t1 is a resolute avoidance ( m9ute preoccupations1 a light-he>t$ j\rney+1 ) an amus$ tol]ance = ! incid5ts ( ! way4 ,a conv5tional ord] ( life is useful only 9 s f> z x removes f ! m9d ! necessity ( detail$ plann+1 & all[s x to fl[ punctually & me*anically 9 an ord]$ c\rse4 ,b if we exalt t ord] into some?+ sacr$ & solemn1 !n we become ph>isaical & meticul\s1 & ! sav\r ( life is lo/4 ,"o rememb]s ! sc5e 9 ,david ,copp]field :i* makes s f9e a p>able ( life2 h[ ! m]ry p>ty :o 7 mak+ ! be/ ( an ill-cook$ meal1 & grill+ ! *ops ov] ! lodg+-h\se fire1 7 utt]ly disconc]t$ & r$uc$ to mis]able dignity by ! entry ( ! c]emoni\s s]vant ) 8 ,pray1 p]mit me1 & h[ 8 decor\s managem5t ( ! *e]ful affair ca/ a gloom ^u ! circle :i* c\ld n ev5 be dispell$ :5 he _h f9i%$ 8 "w & left !m to !mselves4 ,,xviii ,,affection ,"o ( ! ways 9 :i* our fe>s h p[] to w\nd u mo/ griev\sly is ?r\gh our affections1 & "h we are confront$ ) a real & crucial difficulty4 ,are we to hold ourselves 91 to *eck ! impulses ( affection1 to use self-re/ra9t1 n multiply intimacies1 n ext5d sympa?ies8 ,"o sees e n[ & !n lives :i* h entw9$ !mselves ) e t5dril ( passion & love & companion%ip & s]vice r\nd "s "o p]sonality1 & h !n be5 b]eav$1 ) ! result t ! :ole life has be5 palsi$ & /ruck into desolation by ! loss4 ,i am ?9k+ n[ ( two in/ances :i* ,i h kn[n2 "o 0 a wife1 :o 0 *ildless1 & ^: :ole nature1 e motive & e faculty1 became c5tr$ ^u h] husb&1 a man mo/ wor?y ( love4 ,he di$ sudd5ly1 & 8 wife lo/ ev]y?+ at "o bl[2 n only h] lov] & comrade1 b e occupation z well :i* might h help$ to di/ract h]1 because h] :ole life _h be5 entirely devot$ to h] husb&2 & ev5 ! h\rs :5 he 0 abs5t f h] _h be5 giv5 to do+ any?+ & ev]y?+ t might save him tr\ble or vexation4 ,%e liv$ on1 ?\gh %e w\ld will+ly h di$ at any mom5t1 & ! :ole fabric ( h] life 0 %att]$4 ,aga91 ,i ?9k ( a devot$ daught] :o _h done ! same (fice = an old & n v robu/ fa!r4 ,i he>d h] once say t ! sorr[ ( h] "m's dea? _h be5 almo/ nullifi$ = h] by f9d+ t %e c\ld d ev]y?+ = & be ev]y?+ to h] fa!r1 :om %e almo/ ador$4 ,%e _h refus$ an (f] ( m>riage f a man :om %e s9c]ely lov$1 t %e might n leave h] fa!r1 & %e nev] ev5 told h] fa!r ( ! incid5t1 = fe> t he might h felt t he _h /ood 9 ! way ( h] happ9ess4 ,:5 he di$1 %e too f\nd h]self utt]ly desolate1 )\t ties & )\t occupation1 an eld]ly woman almo/ )\t fri5ds or companions4 ,ought "o to feel t ?is k9d ( jeal\s absorption 9 a s+le individual affection is a mi/ake8 ,x c]ta9ly br\ght bo? ! wife & daught] an int5se happ9ess1 b 9 bo? cases ! relation 0 s close & s intimate t x t5d$ gradually to seclude !m f all o!r relations4 ,! husb& & ! fa!r 7 bo? res]v$ & %y m51 & desir$ no o!r companion%ip4 ,"o c see s easily h[ x all came ab\t1 & :at ! inevitable result 0 b\nd to be1 & yet x w\ld h be5 difficult at any po9t to say :at c\ld h be5 done4 ,( c\rse ^! great absorb$ emotions involve l>ge risks2 & x may be d\bt$ :e!r life c be safely liv$ on ^! int5sive l9es4 ,^! are ( c\rse extreme in/ances1 b !re are _m cases 9 ! _w1 & especially 9 ! case ( wom5 ^: life is entirely built up on c]ta9 emotions l ! love & c>e ( *ildr52 & :5 t is s1 a nature becomes liable to ! %>pe/ incursions ( fe>4 ,x is ( little use argu+ su* cases !oretically1 because1 z ! prov]b says1 z ! l& lies ! wat] fl[s1--& love makes v light ( all prud5tial consid]ations4 ,! difficulty does n arise ) l>ge & g5]\s natures :i* give love prodigally 9 _m directions1 because if "o su* relation is brok5 by dea?1 love c /ill ex]cise itself ^u ^? t rema94 ,x is ! fi]ce & jeal\s sort ( love t is s h>d to deal )1 a love t exults 9 solit>9ess ( devotion1 & _c be> any intrusion ( o!r relations4 ,yet if "o believes1 z ,i = "o believe1 t ! secret ( ! _w is someh[ hidd5 9 love1 & c be int]pret$ ?r\gh love alone1 !n "o mu/ run ! risks ( love1 & seek = /r5g? to be> ! inevitable suff]+ :i* love mu/ br+4 ,b m5 & wom5 are v diff]5tly made 9 ?is respect4 ,among innum]able m9or diff]5ces1 c]ta9 broad divisions are cle>4 ,m51 9 ! fir/ place1 bo? by tra9+ & temp]am5t1 are f> less dep5d5t ^u affection ?an wom54 ,c>e] & occupation play a mu* l>g] "p 9 _! ?\ghts4 ,if "o c\ld te/ & int]cept ! secret & unoccupi$ rev]ies ( m51 :5 ! m9d moves idly among ! objects :i* mo/ conc]n x1 x w\ld be f\nd1 ,i d n d\bt1 t m5's m9ds occupy !mselves mu* m ab\t def9ite & tangible ?+s--_! "w1 _! duties1 _! ambitions1 _! amusem5ts--& c5tre little ^u ! ?\ght ( o!r p2 an affection1 an emotional relation1 is mu* m ( an incid5t ?an a settl$ preoccupation2 & !n ) m5 !re are two m>k$ types1 ^? :o give & lavi% affection freely1 :o are int]e/$ & attract$ by o!rs & wi% to atta* & secure close fri5ds2 & !re are o!rs :o respond to advances1 yet d n g 9 se>* ( fri5d%ip1 b only accept x :5 x comes2 & ! s+ul> ?+ is t su* natures1 :i* are (t5 cold & self-absorb$1 h a p[] ( k9dl+ emotion 9 o!rs :i* m5 ( g5]\s & eag] feel+ sometimes lack4 ,x is /range t x %\ld be s1 b !re is "s psy*ological law at ! back ( x2 & x is c]ta9ly true 9 my exp]i5ce t ! m5 :o h be5 mo/ eag]ly s\ght 9 fri5d%ip h n z a rule be5 ! mo/ op5-he>t$ & expansive natures4 ,i suppose t a c]ta9 law ( pursuit holds good1 & t p ( self-conta9$ temp]am5t1 ) a sort ( baffl+ *>m1 :o are critical & h>d to please1 excite a c]ta9 ambition 9 ^? :o w\ld claim _! affection4 ,wom51 ,i h no d\bt1 live f> m 9 ! ?\ght ( o!rs1 & desire _! int5tion2 !y wi% to arrive at mutual und]/&+ & confid5ce1 to explore p]sonality1 to pi]ce beh9d ! surface1 to e/abli% a def9ite relation4 ,yet 9 ! matt] ( relations ) o!rs1 wom5 are (t51 ,i believe1 less s5tim5tal1 & ev5 less t5d]-he>t$ ?an m51 & !y h a f> swift] & tru] intuition ( "*4 ,?\gh ! two sexes c nev] really und]/& ea* o!r's po9t ( view1 because no imag9ation c cross ! gulf ( fundam5tal diff]5ce1 yet ,i am c]ta9 t wom5 und]/& m5 f> bett] ?an m5 und]/& wom54 ,! :ole range ( motives is /rangely diff]5t1 & m5 c nev] grasp ! comp>ative unimportance ) :i* wom5 reg>d ! "q ( occupation4 ,occupation is = m5 a def9ite & isolat$ "p ( life1 a ?+ important & absorb+ 9 itself1 q ap>t f any motives or reasons4 ,to d some?+1 to make some?+1 to produce some?+--t desire is always !re1 :atev] ebb & fl[ ( emotions !re may be2 x is an end 9 itself ) m51 & ) _m wom5 x is n s2 = wom5 mo/ly reg>d "w z a necessity1 b n an int]e/+ necessity4 ,9 a woman's occupation1 !re is g5]ally someone at ! end ( x1 = :om & 9 connection ) :om x is done4 ,?is is probably l>gely ! result ( tra9+ & tradition1 & great *anges are n[ go+ on 9 ! direction ( wom5 f9d+ occupations = !mselves4 ,b take ! case ( su* a pr(ession z tea*+2 x is q possible = a man to be an effective & compet5t tea*]1 )\t feel+ any p>ticul> int]e/ 9 ! temp]am5ts ( 8 pupils1 except 9 s f> z !y react ^u ! "w to be done4 ,b a woman c h>dly take ?is imp]sonal attitude2 & ?is makes wom5 bo? m & less effective1 because human be+s inv>iably pref] to be dealt ) dispassionately2 & ?is is z a rule m difficult = wom52 & ?us 9 a complicat$ matt] affect+ conduct1 a woman z a rule =ms a s\nd] judgm5t on :at has actually occurr$ ?an a man1 & is p]haps m likely to take a sev]e view4 ,! attitude ( a ,galileo is (t5 a useful "o = a tea*]1 because boys & girls ought 9 matt]s t conc]n !mselves to le>n h[ to gov]n !mselves4 ,?us 9 situations involv+ relation ) o!rs wom5 are m liable to feel anxiety & ! pressure ( p]sonal responsibility2 & ! "q is to :at ext5t ?is ought to be indulg$1 9 :at degree m5 & wom5 ought to assume ! direction ( o!r lives1 & :e!r x is :olesome = ! director to all[ a desire = p]sonal dom9ance to be sub/itut$ = m spontane\s motives4 ,x v (t5 happ5s t ! temp]am5ts :i* mo/ claim help & support are actuat$ by ! egoti/ical desire to f9d !mselves int]e/+ to o!rs1 :ile ^? :o will+ly assume ! direction ( o!r lives are attract$ m by ! s5se ( p[] ?an by g5u9e sympa?y4 ,b x is cle> t x is 9 ! region ( our affections t ! greate/ risks ( all h to be run4 ,by lov+1 we r5d] ourselves liable to ! d>ke/ & heavie/ fe>s4 ,yet "h1 ,i believe1 we ought to h no d\bt at all2 & ! man :o says to himself1 ,i %\ld l to be/[ my affection on ?is p]son & on t1 b ,i w keep x 9 re/ra9t1 because ,i am afraid ( ! suff]+ :i* x may entail1--su* a man1 ,i say1 is v f> f ! k+dom ( ,god4 ,because love is ! "o quality :i*1 if x rea*es a c]ta9 height1 c altoge!r despise & triumph ov] fe>4 ,:5 ambition & delight & en]gy fail1 love c accompany u1 ) hope & confid5ce1 to ! d>k gate2 & ?us x is ! "o ?+ ab\t :i* we c h>dly be mi/ak54 ,if love does n survive dea?1 !n life is built ^u no?+ness1 & we may be glad to get away2 b x is m likely t x is ! only ?+ t does survive4 ,,xix ,,s9 ,x is e "o's duty to take himself s]i\sly--t is ! "r mean betwe5 tak+ oneself ei!r solemnly or apologetically4 ,!re is no m]it 9 be+ apologetic ab\t oneself4 ,"o has a "r to be !re1 :]ev] "o is1 a "r to an op9ion1 a "r to take "s k9d ( a h& 9 :atev] is go+ on2 natural tact is ! only ?+ :i* c tell u exactly h[ f> ^? rights ext5d2 b x is inconv5i5t to be apologetic1 because if "o insi/s on expla9+ h[ "o comes to be !re1 or h[ "o comes to h an op9ion1 o!r p beg9 to ?9k t "o ne$s explanation & excuse2 b x is ev5 worse to be solemn ab\t oneself1 because ,engli% p are v critical 9 private1 ?\gh !y are tol]ant 9 public1 because !y dislike a sc5e1 & h n got ! art ( adm9i/]+ ! delicate snub :i* indicates to a man t 8 self-confid5ce is exub]ant )\t humiliat+ him2 :5 ,engli% p inflict a snub1 !y d x viol5tly & emphatically1 l ,dr4 ,johnson1 & x g5]ally means t !y are reliev+ !mselves ( accumulat$ disapproval4 ,an ,engli%man is apt to be def]5tial1 & "o ( ! wor/ temptations ( (ficial life is ! temptation to be solemn4 ,!re is an old /ory ab\t ,scott & ,wordswor?1 :5 ! latt] /ay$ at ,abbots=d2 ,scott1 dur+ ! :ole visit1 0 full ( little pleasant & c\rte\s allusions to ,wordswor?'s poems2 & "o ( ! gue/s pres5t records h[ at ! end ( ! visit n a s+le ^w _h ev] pass$ ,wordswor?'s lips :i* c\ld h indicat$ t he knew 8 ho/ to h ev] writt5 a l9e ( poetry or prose4 ,i 0 sitt+ ! o!r day at a function next a man ( "s em95ce1 & ,i 0 really amaz$ at ! way 9 :i* he disc\rs$ ( himself & 8 habits1 8 diet1 8 h\rs ( "w1 & ! blank indiff]5ce ) :i* he receiv$ simil> confid5ces4 ,he m]ely wait$ till ! speak] _h f9i%$1 & !n resum$ 8 own /ory4 ,x is ?is sort ( solemn egotism :i* makes u ov]value our anxieties q out ( all proportion to _! importance1 because !y all appe> to u z integral elem5ts ( a dignifi$ drama 9 :i* we enact ! h]o's "p4 ,we press f> too heavily on ! s5se ( responsibility2 & if we beg9 by tell+ boys1 z is too (t5 done 9 s]mons1 t :atev] !y d or say is ( f>-rea*+ consequ5ce1 t e lighte/ ^w may produce an effect1 t any c>elessness ( spee* or example may h disa/r\s effects ^u ! "* ( ano!r1 we are do+ our be/ to enc\rage ! self-emphasis :i* is ! v ess5ce ( priggi%ness4 ,!re is a curi\s conflict go+ on at ! pres5t "t 9 ,engli% life betwe5 light-m9d$ness & solemnity2 !re is a great appetite = liv+1 a love ( amusem5t1 a t5d5cy to subord9ate ! int]e/s ( ! future to ! pleasure ( ! mom5t1 & to ?9k t ! "o s]i\s evil is bor$om2 t is a heal?y manife/ation en\gh 9 its way1 because x /&s = int]e/ & delight 9 life2 b !re is ano!r /ra9 9 our nature1 t ( a r heavy pietism1 inh]it$ f our ,puritan ance/ors4 ,x mu/ n be =gott5 t ! ,puritan got a good deal ( int]e/ out ( 8 s5se ( s92 z ! old combative elem5ts ( feudal ages disappe>$1 ! soldi]ly blood reta9$ ! fight+ in/9ct1 & turn$ x into moral regions4 ,! s5se ( adv5ture is impell$ to satiate itself1 & ! ,pilgrim's ,progress is a cle> en\gh pro( t ! old combativ5ess 0 all !re1 revell+ 9 dang]1 & exult+ 9 ! ?\ght t ! human be+ 0 9 ! mid/ ( foes4 ,s9 repres5t$ itself to ! ,puritan z a ?+ out ( :i* he c\ld get a good deal ( fun2 n ! fun ( yield+ to x1 b ! fun ( :ipp+ out 8 sword & gett+ 9 "s %rewd bl[s4 ,:5 prea*]s n[adays lam5t t we h lo/ ! s5se ( s91 :at !y really mean is t we h lo/ our combativ5ess3 we no long] believe t we mu/ treat our foes ) op5 & brutal viol5ce1 & we p]ceive t su* conduct is only pitt+ "o s9 aga9/ ano!r4 ,!re is no w>rant 9 ! ,gospel = ! combative idea ( ! ,*ri/ian life2 all su* metaphors & sugge/ions come f ,/4 ,paul & ! ,apocalypse4 ,! fact is t ! _w 0 n ready = ! utt] peaceabl5ess ( ! ,gospel1 & x _h to be accommodat$ to ! viol5ce ( ! _w4 ,n[ aga9 ! ,*ri/ian idea is col\r$ by sci5tific & m$ical k1 & s91 in/ead ( an enemy :i* we mu/ fight1 has become a disease :i* we mu/ try to cure4 ,s9s1 ! ord9>y s9s ( ord9>y life1 are n z a rule in/9cts :i* are evil 9 !mselves1 s mu* z in/9cts :i* are selfi%ly pursu$ to ! detrim5t ( o!rs2 s9 is 9 its ess5ce ! selfi%ness :i* w n coop]ate1 & :i* secures advantages unju/ly1 )\t any he$ to ! disadvantage ( o!rs4 ,,sympa!tic ,,imag9ation is ! real foe ( s91 ! p[] ( putt+ oneself 9 ! place ( ano!r2 & mu* ( ! s5tim5t :i* is s preval5t n[adays is ! evid5ce ( ! gr[? ( sympa?y4 ,! old !ory ( s9 l&s "o 9 a horrible dilemma1 because x implies a trea*]\s enmity on ! "p ( ,god1 to create man weak & un/able1 & to pit 8 weakness aga9/ tyrann\s desires2 to all[ 8 w to d evil to be /rong] ?an 8 p[] to d "r1 is a satanical device4 ,"o mu/ n sacrifice ! tru? to ! desire = simplicity & effective /atem5t4 ,! tru? is intricate & obscure1 & to pret5d t x is pla9 & obvi\s is m]e hypocrisy4 ,! /r5g? ( ,calv9ism is its horrible resemblance to a natural inf]5ce f ! facts ( life2 b if any sort ( ,calv9ism is true1 !n x is a m]e insult to ! intellig5ce to say t ,god is lov+ or j4 ,! real basis = all deep-seat$ fe> ab\t life is ! fe> t "o w n be dealt ) ei!r lov+ly or ju/ly4 ,b we h to make a simple *oice z to :at we w believe1 & ! only hope is to believe t imm$iate h>%ness & inju/ice is n ultimately inconsi/5t ) ,love4 ,no "o :o kn[s any?+ ( ! _w & ( life c pret5d to ?9k or say t suff]+ always results f1 or is at all proportion$ to1 moral faults2 & if we are tempt$ to reg>d all our disa/]s z p5al consequ5ces1 !n we are tempt$ to endure !m ) gloomy & morbid immobility4 ,x is f> m :olesome & enc\rag+ to look ^u _m disa/]s t befall u z opportunities to %[ a little _s1 to evoke ! c\rage :i* does n come by indol5t prosp]ity1 to increase our sympa?y1 to enl>ge our exp]i5ce1 to make ?+s cle>] to u1 to develop our m9d & he>t1 to free u f mat]ial temptations4 ,pa/ suff]+ is n always an evil1 x is (t5 an excit+ rem9isc5ce4 ,x is good to take life adv5tur\sly1 l ,odysseus ( old4 ,:at w\ld "o feel ab\t ,odysseus if1 in/ead ( contriv+ a way out ( ! ,cyclops' cave1 he _h set himself to consid] ( :at =gott5 s9 8 dang] 0 ! consequ5ce8 ,suff]+ & disa/] come to u to develop our inv5tiv5ess & our c\rage1 n to daunt & dismay u2 & we ought !re=e to approa* exp]i5ce ) a s5se ( hum\r1 if possible1 & ) a lively curiosity4 ,i recollect he>+ a man ! o!r day describ+ an op]ation to :i* he _h be5 subject$4 ,my ^w1 he said1 8 eyes sp>kl+ ) delight at ! recollection1 t 0 awful1 :5 ,i came into ! op]at+-room1 & saw ! surgeons 9 _! togs1 & ! pails & bas9s all ab\t1 & 0 invit$ to /ep up to ! table6 ,!re is no?+ s agreeable z ! remembrance ( fe>s ?r\gh :i* we h pass$2 & we c only le>n to despise !m by f9d+ out h[ unbalanc$ !y 74 ,i d n mean t fe>s c ev] be pleasant at ! "t1 b we d !m too mu* hon\r if we c\rt !m & def] to !m4 ,h[ev] mu* we may be tortur$ by !m1 !re is always some?+ at ! back ( our m9d :i* despises our own susceptibility to !m2 & x is t deep] in/9ct :i* we ought to tru/4 ,b we _c ev5 beg9 to tru/ x1 z long z we all[ ourselves to believe pieti/ically t ! ,m9d ( ,god is set on puni%m5t4 ,t is ! gha/ly error :i* humanity t5ds to make4 ,x has be5 d9n$ into u1 alas1 f our e>ly ye>s1 & religi\s phraseology is con/antly pollut$ by x4 ,our ,savi\r l5t no c\nt5ance to ?is at all2 ,he spoke p]fectly pla9ly aga9/ ! !ory ( judgm5ts4 ,( c\rse suff]+ is sometimes a consequ5ce ( s91 b x is n a v9dictive puni%m5t2 x is t we may le>n our mi/ake4 ,b we mu/ give up ! rev5geful idea ( ,god3 t is import$ into our scale ( values by ! grosse/ an?ropomorphism4 ,only ! weak man1 :o fe>s t 8 safety w be m5ac$ if he does n make an example1 deals 9 rev5ge4 ,he is indignant at any?+ :i* mortifies 8 vanity1 :i* implies any d\bt ( 8 p[] or any disreg>d ( 8 wi%es4 ,rev5ge is born ( t]ror1 & to ?9k ( ,god z v9dictive is to ?9k ( ,him z subject to fe>4 ,s]5e & unque/ion$ /r5g? c h no?+ to d ) fe>4 ,milton is l>gely responsible = p]petuat+ ?is belief4 ,he makes ! ,almighty say to ! ,son-- ,let u advise1 & to ?is haz>d draw ,) spe$ :at =ce is left1 & all employ ,9 our def5ce1 le/ unaw>es we lose ,?is our high place1 our sanctu>y1 our hill4 ,milton's idea ( ! ,almighty 0 frankly t ( a ,p[] :o _h und]tak5 m ?an he c\ld manage1 & :o _h all[$ ?+s to g too f>4 ,b x is a pu]ile conception ( ,god2 & to all[ ourselves to ?9k or speak ( ,god z a ,p[] t has to take precautions1 or t has any?+ to fe> f ! ex]cise ( human volition1 is to cl\d ! :ole horizon at once4 ,b we ought r to ?9k ( ,god z a ,p[] :i* = "s reason works ?r\gh imp]fection4 ,! battle ( ! _w is t ( =ce aga9/ in]tness3 & our fe>s are ! %ad[ ( t combat4 ,fe> %\ld !n r %[ u t we are be+ confront$ ) exp]i5ce2 & t our duty is to disreg>d x1 to m>* =w>d ?r\gh x1 to come out on ! o!r side ( x4 ,x is all an adv5ture1 9 fact6 ,! disa/] 9 :i* we are involv$ is n s5t to %[ u t ! ,et]nal ,p[] :i* creat$ u is vex$ at our failures1 or b5t on cru%+ u4 ,x is exactly ! opposite2 x is to %[ u t we are wor? te/+1 wor? develop+1 & t we are to h ! glory ( go+ on2 ! v fe> ( dea? is ! la/ te/ ( our belief 9 ,love4 ,we are assur$ly meant to believe t ! c[>d is to le>n ! beauty ( c\rage1 t ! lagg>d is to p]ceive ! wor? ( en]gy1 t ! selfi% man is to be taught sympa?y4 ,if we mu/ take a metaphor1 let u r ?9k ( ,god z ! grav] ( ! gem ?an z ! *ild t beats h] doll = collaps+ in/ead ( sitt+ upright4 ,x is our di%on\r+ ?\ght ( ,god z jeal\s1 suspici\s1 fond ( exhibit+ p[]1 rev5geful1 cruel1 t does u h>m4 ,we mu/ r ?9k ( ,8 ,he>t z full ( c\rage1 en]gy1 & hope2 z teem+ ) joy1 lightness1 ze/1 mir?2 & !n we c beg9 to ?9k ( failures1 fe>s1 delays z ?+s small & unimportant1 n z malici\s ambu%es1 b z r\gh bits ( road1 z ob/acles to reveal & to develop our /r5g? & gaiety4 ,!re is no joy 9 ! _w s great z ! joy ( f9d+ ourselves /rong] ?an we "k2 & t is :at ,god is b5t ^u %[+ u1 & n ^u prov+ to u t we are vile & base1 9 ! _s ( ! old ,calv9i/ :o said to 8 own daught] :5 %e 0 dy+ ( a pa9ful disease1 t %e mu/ rememb] t all %ort ( ,hell 0 m]cy4 ,x is s2 b ,hell is r :at we />t f1 & out ( :i* we h to f9d our way1 ?an ! wa/e-pap] basket ( life1 ! la/ receptacle = our %att]$ purposes4 ,,xx ,,s]5ity ,to a*ieve s]5ity we mu/ h ! p[] ( keep+ our he>ts & m9ds fix$ ^u some?+ :i* is beyond & above ! pass+ incid5ts ( life1 :i* s disconc]t & ov]%ad[ u1 & :i* are aft] all b z cl\ds 9 ! sky1 or islets 9 a great ocean4 ,?9k ) :at smil+ indiff]5ce a man w\ld meet indignation & abuse & m5ace1 if he 7 aw>e t an h\r h5ce he w\ld be triumphantly v9dicat$ & applaud$4 ,h[ calmly w\ld a man sleep 9 a condemn$ cell if he knew t a free p>don 7 on its way to him6 ,( c\rse ! m eag]ly & enjoyably we live1 s mu* ! m we are affect$ by little incid5ts1 beyond :i* we c h>dly look :5 !y br+ u s mu* pleasure or s mu* discom=t2 & ?us x is always ! m5 & wom5 ( ke5 & highly-/rung natures1 :o ta/e ! quality ( e mom5t1 9 its sweetness & its bitt]ness1 :o w mo/ feel ! influ5ce ( fe>4 ,edw>d ,fitz,gerald once sadly confess$ t1 z life w5t on1 days ( p]fect delight--a beautiful sc5e1 a melodi\s music1 ! society ( ^? :om he lov$ be/--br\ght him less & less joy1 because he felt t !y 7 pass+ swiftly1 & c\ld n be recall$4 ,& ( c\rse ! imag9ative nature :i* lives tremul\sly 9 delight w be mo/ apt to port5d sadness 9 h\rs ( happ9ess1 & 9 sorr[ to anticipate ! cont9uance ( sorr[4 ,t is an inevitable effect ( temp]am5t2 b we mu/ n give way helplessly to temp]am5t1 or all[ ourselves to drift :]ev] ! m9d be>s u4 ,j z ! skill$ sailor c tack up aga9/ ! w9d1 & use +5uity to compel a contr>y breeze to br+ him to ! hav5 ( 8 desire1 s we mu/ be wise 9 trimm+ our sails to ! =ce ( circum/ance2 :ile !re is an eag] delight 9 mak+ adv]se conditions help u to realise our hopes4 ,! timid s\l t loves delight is apt to say to itself1 ,i am happy n[ 9 heal? & circum/ances & fri5ds1 b ,i lean out into ! future1 & see t heal? mu/ fail & fri5ds mu/ drift away2 dea? mu/ "p me f ^? ,i love2 & beyond all ?is1 ,i see ! cl\dy gate ?r\gh :i* ,i mu/ myself pass1 & ,i d n "k :at lies beyond x4 ,t is true en\gh6 ,x is l ! /ory ( ! old pr9ce1 z told by ,h]odotus1 :o said 9 8 sorr[ful age t ! ,gods gave man only a ta/e ( life1 j en\gh to let him feel t life 0 sweet1 & !n took ! cup f 8 lips4 ,b if we look fairly at life1 at our own life1 at o!r lives1 we see t pleasure & cont5tm5t1 ev5 if we h>dly realis$ t x 0 cont5tm5t at ! "t1 h l>gely pr$om9at$ ov] pa9 & unhapp9ess2 a man mu/ be v rueful & melan*oly be=e he w delib]ately say t life has n be5 wor? liv+1 ?\gh ,i suppose t !re h probably be5 h\rs 9 ! lives ( all ( u :5 we h ?\ght & said & ev5 believ$ t we w\ld r n h liv$ at all ?an suff] s4 ,nei!r mu/ we pass ov] ! fact t e day !re are m5 & wom5 :o1 "u ! pressure ( calamity & dismay1 br+ _! lives to a volunt>y end4 ,b we h to be v dull & ?ankless & sl[ ( he>t n to feel t by be+ all[$ to live1 = h[ev] %ort a "t1 we h be5 all[$ to take "p 9 a v beautiful & wond]ful ?+4 ,! lovel9ess ( e>?1 its col\rs1 its lights1 its sc5ts1 its sav\rs1 ! pleasures ( activity & heal?1 ! %>p joys ( love & fri5d%ip1 ^! are surely v great & m>vell\s exp]i5ces1 & ! ,m9d :i* plann$ !m mu/ be full ( high purpose1 eag] int5tion1 inf9ite goodwill4 ,& we may g fur!r ?an t1 & see t ev5 our sorr[s & failures h (t5 br\ght some?+ great to our view1 some?+ :i* we feel we h le>n$ & appreh5d$1 some?+ :i* we w\ld n h miss$1 & :i* we _c d )\t4 ,if we w frankly recognise all ?is1 we _c feebly crumple up at ! smalle/ t\* ( mis]y1 & say suspici\sly & v9dictively t we wi% we _h nev] op5$ our eyes ^u ! _w2 & ev5 if we d say t1 ev5 if we ab&on ourselves to despair1 we yet _c hope to escape2 we did n ent] life by our own w1 x is n our own prud5ce t has kept u !re1 & ev5 if we end x volunt>ily1 z ,c>lyle said1 by noose or h5bane1 we _c = an in/ant be sure t we are end+ x2 e inf]5ce 9 ! _w1 9 fact1 w\ld t5d to indicate t we d n end x4 ,we _c de/roy matt]1 we c only disp]se & re>range x2 we _c g5]ate a s+le =ce1 we c only summon x f else:]e1 & conc5trate x1 z we conc5trate electricity1 at a s+le gl[+ po9t4 ,=ce seems z inde/ructible z matt]1 & !re is no reason to ?9k t life is de/ructible ei!r4 ,s t if we are to resign ourselves to any belief at all1 x mu/ be to ! belief t to be1 or n to be is n a ?+ :i* is 9 our p[] at all4 ,we may ext+ui% life1 z we put out a light2 b we d n de/roy x1 we only re>range x4 ,& we c ?us at lea/ practise & ex]cise ourselves 9 ! belief t we _c br+ our exp]i5ces to an end1 h[ev] petulantly & irritably we desire to d s1 because x simply is n 9 our p[] to effect x4 ,we talk ab\t ! p[] ( ! w1 b no ef=t ( w c oblit]ate ! life t we h liv$1 or add a cubit to our /ature2 we _c abrogate any law ( nature1 or de/roy a s+le atom ( matt]4 ,:at x seems t we c d ) ! w is to make a c]ta9 *oice1 to select a c]ta9 l9e1 to comb9e exi/+ =ces1 to use !m )9 v small limits4 ,we c oblige ourselves to take a c]ta9 c\rse1 :5 e o!r incl9ation is reluctant to d x2 & ev5 s ! p[] v>ies 9 diff]5t p4 ,x is useless !n to dep5d bl9dly ^u ! w1 because we may sudd5ly come to ! end ( x1 z we may come to ! end ( our physical =ces4 ,b :at ! w c d is to try c]ta9 exp]im5ts1 & ! "o prov9ce :]e its function seems to be cle>1 is :]e x c discov] t we h (t5 a res]ve ( unsuspect$ /r5g?1 & m c\rage & p[] ?an we _h suppos$4 ,we c c]ta9ly oppose x to bodily incl9ations1 :e!r !y be s$uctions ( s5se or temptations ( we>9ess4 ,& 9 ?is "o respect ! w c give u1 if n s]5ity1 at lea/ a great] s]5ity ?an we expect4 ,we c use ! w to endure1 to wait1 to susp5d a ha/y judgm5t2 & impulse is ! ?+ :i* m5aces our s]5ity mo/ ( all4 ,! w inde$ seems to be l a little weight :i* we c ?r[ into ei!r scale4 ,if we h no d\bt h[ we ought to act1 we c use ! w to en=ce our judgm5t1 :e!r x is a "q ( act+ or ( ab/a9+2 if we are 9 d\bt h[ to act1 we c use our w to en=ce a wise delay4 ,! tru? !n ab\t ! w is t x is a =ce :i* we _c measure1 & t x is z unreasonable to say t x does n exi/ z to say t x is unlimit$4 ,x is fooli% to describe x z free2 x is no m free ?an a prison] 9 a cell is free2 b yet he has a c]ta9 p[] to move ab\t )9 8 cell1 & to *oose among possible employm5ts4 ,anyone :o w delib]ately te/ 8 w1 w f9d t x is /rong] ?an he suspects2 :at (t5 weak5s our use ( x is t we are s apt to look beyond ! imm$iate difficulty into a long p]spective ( imag9$ ob/acles1 & to say )9 ourselves1 ,yes1 ,i may p]haps a*ieve ?is imm$iate /ep1 b ,i _c take /ep aft] /ep--my c\rage w fail6 ,yet if "o does make ! imm$iate ef=t1 x is common to f9d ! :ole range ( ob/acles modifi$ by ! s+le act2 & ?us ! fir/ /ep t[>ds ! atta9m5t ( s]5ity ( life is to practise cutt+ (f ! vi/a ( possible cont+5cies f our view1 & to create a habit ( deal+ ) a case z x occurs4 ,i am (t5 tempt$ myself to s5d my anxi\s m9d f> ahead 9 vague dismay2 at ! beg9n+ ( a week cramm$ ) v>i\s engagem5ts1 num]\s tasks1 con/ant lab\r1 little bus9esses1 _m ( !m ) _! own att5dant anxiety1 x is easy to say t !re is no "t to d any?+ t "o wants to d1 & to feel t ! matt]s !mselves w be h&l$ amiss & bungl$4 ,b if "o c only keep ! m9d (f1 or di/ract x by "w1 or beguile x by a book1 a walk1 a talk1 h[ easily ! ?read sp9s (f ! reel1 h[ quietly "o comes to h>b\r on ! ,saturday ev5+1 ) ev]y?+ done & f9i%$6 ,aga91 ,i am p]sonally mu* dispos$ to dread ! opposition & ! displeasure ( colleagues1 & to %r9k n]v\sly f any?+ :i* involves deal+ ) a numb] ( p4 ,i ought to h f\nd out be=e n[ h[ futile su* dread is2 o!r p =get _! vexation & ev5 gr[ a%am$ ( x1 mu* z "o does oneself2 & look+ back ,i c recall no crisis :i* turn$ out ei!r z intricate or z difficult z "o expect$4 ,let me admit t ,i h m ?an once 9 life made grave mi/akes ?r\gh ?is timidity & indol5ce1 or ?r\gh an imag9ativ5ess :i* c\ld see 9 a great opportunity no?+ b a sea ( tr\bles1 :i* w\ld1 ,i d n d\bt1 h melt$ away z "o advanc$4 ,b no "o has suff]$ except myself6 ,in/itutions d n dep5d ^u individuals2 & ,i reg>d su* failures n[ j z ! petulant ca/+ away ( a *ance ( exp]i5ce1 z a lesson :i* ,i w\ld n le>n2 b !re is no?+ irrep>able ab\t x2 "o only comes1 m sl[ly & pa9fully1 to ! same goal at la/4 ,i d>e n say t ,i regret x all1 = we are all ( u1 :e!r small or great1 be+ taught a mighty tru?1 :e!r we wi% x or "k x2 & all t we c d to ha/5 x is to put our w into ! "r scale4 ,i d n ?9k mi/akes & failures ought to tr\ble "o mu*2 at all ev5ts !re is no fe> m+l$ ) !m4 ,b ,i d n "h claim to h atta9$ any real s]5ity--my own he>t is too impati5t1 too fond ( pleasure = t6--yet ,i c see cle>ly en\gh t x is !re1 if ,i c\ld b grasp x2 & ,i "k well en\gh h[ x is to be atta9$1 by be+ cont5t to wait1 & by realis+ at e in/ant & mom5t ( life t1 9 spite ( my tremors & indol5ces1 my %>p impati5ces1 my petulant disgu/s1 some?+ v real & great is be+ %[n me1 :i* ,i %all at la/1 h[ev] dimly1 p]ceive2 & t ev5 s ! goal ( ! j\rney is f> beyond any horizon t ,i c conceive1 & built up l ! cele/ial city out ( unutt]able brightness & cle>ness1 ^u a f\ndation ( peace & joy4 ,x is v difficult to det]m9e1 by any ex]cise ( ! intellect or imag9ation1 :at fe>s w\ld rema9 to u if we 7 fre$ f ! dom9ion ( ! body4 ,all mat]ial fe>s & anxieties w\ld come to an end2 we %\ld no long] h any pov]ty to dread1 or any ( ! limitations or circumscriptions :i* ! lack ( ! means ( life inflicts ^u u2 we %\ld h no ambitions left1 because ! ambitions :i* c5tre on influ5ce--t is1 ^u ! desire to direct & control ! int]e/s ( a nation or a gr\p ( individuals--h no mean+ ap>t f ! mat]ial framework ( civil life4 ,! only k9d ( influ5ce :i* w\ld survive w\ld be ! influ5ce ( emotion1 ! direct appeal :i* "o :o lives a high] & m beautiful life c make to all unsatisfi$ s\ls1 :o w\ld fa9 f9d ! way to a great] s]5ity ( mood4 ,ev5 ^u e>? we c see a fa9t =e%ad[+ ( ?is 9 ! fact t ! only p]sonalities :o cont9ue to hold ! devotion & admiration ( humanity are ! ideali/s4 ,m5 & wom5 d n make pilgrimages to ! graves & h\ses ( em95t juri/s & bank]s1 political economi/s or /ati/icians3 ^! h done _! "w1 & h _h _! rew>d4 ,ev5 ! monum5ts ( /atesm5 & conqu]ors h little p[] to t\* ! imag9ation1 unless "s love = humanity1 "s desire to uplift & b5efit ! race1 h ent]$ into _! s*emes & policies4 ,no1 x is r ! soil :i* cov]s ! bones ( dream]s & vision>ies t is sacr$ yet1 prophets & poets1 arti/s & musicians1 ^? :o h se5 ?r\gh life to beauty1 & h liv$ & suff]$ t !y might inspire & tranquillise human he>ts4 ,! pr9ces ( ! e>?1 popes & emp]ors1 lie 9 pomp\s sepul*res1 & ! ?\ghts ( ^? :o reg>d !m1 z !y /& 9 metal or m>ble1 dwell mo/ on ! vanity ( e>?ly glory4 ,b at ! tombs ( m5 l ,v]gil & ,dante1 ( ,%akespe>e & ,mi*elangelo1 ! human he>t /ill trembles into te>s1 & hates ! dea? t p>ts s\l f s\l4 ,s t if1 l ,dante1 we c\ld ent] ! %ad[-l&1 & hold conv]se ) ! spirits ( ! dead1 we %\ld seek out to consort )1 n ^? :o h subdu$ & wa/$ ! e>?1 or h t]rifi$ m5 into ob$i5ce & s]vice1 b ^? ^: he>ts 7 t\*$ by dreams ( impossible beauty1 & :o h taught u to be k9d & compassionate & t5d]-he>t$1 to love ,god & our neighb\r1 & to detect1 h[ev] fa9tly1 ! hope ( peace & joy :i* b9ds u all toge!r4 ,& ?us if emotion1 by :i* ,i mean ! p[] ( lov+1 is ! "o ?+ :i* survives1 ! fe>s :i* may rema9 w be conc]n$ ) all ! ?\ghts :i* cl\d love1 ! ang] & suspicion t divide u2 s t p]haps ! only fe>s :i* w survive at all w be ! fe>s ( our own selfi%ness & coldness1 t inn] h>dness :i* has kept u f ! love ( ,god & isolat$ u f our neighb\r4 ,! pride :i* kept u f admitt+ t we 7 wrong1 ! jeal\sy t made u hate ^? :o won ! love we c\ld n w91 ! bas5ess :i* made u indiff]5t to ! discom=t ( o!rs if we c\ld b secure our own ease1 ^! are ! ?\ghts :i* may /ill h ! p[] to torture u2 & ! hell t we may h to fe> may be ! hell ( consci\s weakness & ! horror ( retrospect1 :5 we recollect h[ "u ^! d>k skies ( e>? we w5t on our way claim+ & tak+ all t we c\ld get1 & disreg>d+ love = fe> ( be+ tak5 advantage (4 ,"o ( ! griev\s fe>s ( life is ! fe> ( see+ ourselves z we really are1 9 all our bas5ess & pett9ess2 yet t w assur$ly be %[n u 9 no v9dictive _s1 b t we may le>n to rise & so>4 ,!re is no hope t dea? w "w an imm$iate moral *ange 9 u2 x may set u free f "s s5sual & mat]ial temptations1 b ! inn]mo/ motives w inde$ survive1 t in/9ct :i* makes u aga9 & aga9 pursue :at we "k to be false & unsatisfy+4 ,! m t we %r9k f self-k1 ! m excuses t we make = ourselves1 ! m t we t5d to attribute our failures to our circum/ances & to ! action ( o!rs1 ! m reason we h to fe> ! revelation ( dea?4 ,& ! only way to face t is to keep our m9ds op5 to any light1 to nurture & enc\rage ! wi% to be diff]5t1 to pray h\r by h\r t at any co/ we may be taught ! tru?2 x is useless to se>* = happy illusions1 to look = %ort cuts1 to hope vaguely t /r5g? & virtue w bur/ out l a f\nta9 beside our pa?4 ,we h a long & toilsome way to travel1 & we c by no device abbreviate x2 b :5 we suff] & grieve1 we are walk+ m swiftly to our goal2 & ! h\rs we sp5d 9 fe>1 9 s5d+ ! m9d 9 we>9ess along ! desolate track1 are m]ely wa/$1 = we c alt] no?+ s4 ,we use life be/ :5 we live x eag]ly1 exult+ 9 its fulness & its significance1 ca/+ ourselves into /rong relations ) o!rs1 dr9k+ 9 beauty1 mak+ high music 9 our he>ts4 ,!re is an abundance ( awe 9 ! exp]i5ces ?r\gh :i* we pass1 awe at ! greatness ( ! vision1 at ! va/ness ( ! design1 z x embraces & enfolds our weakness4 ,b we are inside x all1 an integral & inde/ructible "p ( x2 & ! %ad[ ( fe> falls :5 we d\bt ?is1 :5 we dread be+ ov]look$ or disreg>d$4 ,no su* ?+ c happ5 to u2 our inh]itance is absolute & c]ta91 & x is fe> t keeps u away f x1 & ! fe> ( fe>lessness4 ,= we are cont5d+ n ) ,god1 b ) ! fe> :i* hides ,him f our %r9k+ eyes2 & our pray] %\ld be ! undaunt$ pray] ( ,moses 9 ! clefts ( ! m\nta91 ,i besee* ,!e1 %[ me ,?y ,glory6 ,,! ,,end