,,vesper ,,talks ,,to ,,girls by ,,laura ,a4 ,,knott ,principal of ,bradford ,academy ,illustration ,boston and ,new ,york ,houghton ,mifflin ,company ,the ,riverside ,press ,cambridge #aiaf ---------------------------------------- -------------------------------- ,copyright1 #aiaf1 by ,laura ,a4 ,knott ,all ,rights ,reserved ,published ,march #aiaf ---------------------------------------- -------------------------------- ,,to ,,the ,,students ,,of ,,bradford ,,academy ,,past1 ,,present1 ,,and ,,future ,,this ,,book ,,is ,,affectionately ,,dedicated ---------------------------------------- -------------------------------- ,,preface ,this volume contains a few of many talks which the author has given on ,sunday afternoons to the students of ,bradford ,academy4 ,at their request and for their convenience the volume is published4 ,while hundreds of addresses to young women of college age have found their way into print1 the books that deal with the problems and needs of younger girls and that look at life from their point of view are few4 ,though these talks were inspired by the needs of a definite group1 the author will be glad if the book finds a wider audience4 ---------------------------------------- -------------------------------- ,,contents ,i4 ,,new ,,starts ,,in ,,life ,,ii4 ,,school ,,friendships ,,iii4 ,,the ,,art ,,of ,,living ,,with ,,others ,,iv4 ,,enduring ,,hardness ,v4 ,,the ,,rhythm ,,of ,,life ,,vi4 ,,the ,,uses ,,of ,,trouble ,,vii4 ,,school ,,spirit ,,viii4 ,,making ,,the ,,best ,,of ,,things ,,ix4 ,,conflicting ,,loyalties ,x4 ,,the ,,value ,,of ,,discipline ,,xi4 ,,the ,,successful ,,life ,,xii4 ,,the ,,progress ,,of ,,woman ,,xiii4 ,,sources ,,of ,,happiness ,,xiv4 ,,after ,,graduation ---------------------------------------- -------------------------------- ,,vesper ,,talks ,,to ,,girls ,i ,,new ,,starts ,,in ,,life ,life is full of opportunities for new beginnings4 ,courage and hope go out of a person only when he ceases to believe that for him there is one more chance to retrieve the mistakes of the past4 ,george ,eliot says1 ,it is never too late to be what you might have been4 ,such a conviction is necessary if we would live lives of power4 ,there is a sonnet by ,senator ,ingalls in which ,opportunity is represented as saying1-- ,soon or late ,i knock1 unbidden1 once at every gate6 444 those who doubt or hesitate1 ,condemned to failure1 penury1 and woe1 ,seek me in vain and uselessly implore4 ,i answer not1 and ,i return no more6 ,one who saw life from a different point of view#a replied by a poem on the same subject in which ,opportunity says1-- ,they do me wrong who say ,i come no more ,when once ,i knock and fail to find you in2 ,for every day ,i stand outside your door ,and bid you wake1 and rise to fight and win4 ,the latter view is surely the truer and more inspiring one4 ,to the person with the forward look and genuine enthusiasm there are ever-recurring opportunities for a fresh beginning4 ,indeed1 there ought to be no one for whom each day does not commence the world anew4 ,a well-known woman1 noted for the inspiring and cheer-bringing quality of her life1 used to say upon awakening each morning1 ,another great1 rich day6 ,there is no reason why every one of us should not hail each returning morning in this spirit4 ,new ,year's ,day is proverbially the time for turning over a new leaf4 ,the thought of the clean1 fresh pages of another year so soon to be written upon has proved a stimulus and an inspiration in many a life2 and1 in spite of all the broken resolutions1 the world is on the whole much better because of a certain fresh impulse to right living which this day always brings4 ,nature has her ,new ,year in the lovely springtime1 the time of budding leaf and blossoming flower and nesting bird4 ,yet for us human beings the real ,new ,year's ,day of work is neither the first of ,january nor the twenty-first of ,march1 but the early autumn4 ,at that time activities of all sorts that have been dormant throughout the summer take on renewed life4 ,the stores and shops have a new air of briskness and prosperity2 churches that have languished during the vacation season now settle down to their wonted usefulness2 benevolent organizations open up their year's campaign2 the great army of teachers and students return to their work rested1 freshened and recreated by the long vacation and ready for new tasks4 ,there is a feeling of joy and strength in the very air4 ,there is possible at this time1 for every student and teacher1 a very real new start in life4 ,i myself never get over a strange sense of exhilaration as ,i realize that another volume of the book of life has closed and that ,i am just opening a new one4 ,never do ,i cease to be strangely moved by the thought of the great opportunity that is mine1 the opportunity to retrieve the mistakes of the past4 ,never do ,i fail to be grateful for the privilege of leaving behind me all the blunders and failures of former years and of beginning life anew4 ,the student who goes back to the school where other years have been spent finds much that is different4 ,there are always some new studies1 and no two years ever see quite the same combination of teachers and pupils4 ,here1 then1 are opportunities which may be fraught with momentous consequences4 ,some fresh subject may awaken dormant powers1 some new teacher may call forth undreamed-of possibilities1 some friend not yet discovered may add new meaning to life4 ,but the greatest changes are likely to come to the student who1 for the first time1 goes away from home to school or college4 ,such an event has been the turning-point in the lives of thousands of men and women4 ,from that time date their most precious experiences4 ,it was then that they really began to live4 ,dull and spiritless1 indeed1 must be the student who under such circumstances does not feel his soul stirred within him with wonder and with expectation4 ,i have always appreciated the feelings of a young friend of mine1 who was hardly able to close her eyes in sleep the night before she went away to school1 so filled was she with joyful anticipation4 ,in going away to school among strangers1 perhaps the most coveted opportunity you have is the privilege of taking only your best self with you4 ,when we live and work with the same people day after day and month after month1 they often get so used to us that they do not recognize the springing-up of new desires within us and the putting-forth of new effort1 but remember only the faults and failings of the past4 ,when we go away among those who do not know us1 however1 our shortcomings will never be discovered unless they manifest themselves anew4 ,have you made mistakes in the past8 ,have you blundered and have you failed1 not once1 but over and over again8 ,have you been selfish and inconsiderate of the rights of others8 ,let no one guess from your conduct now that such has ever been the case4 ,have you been indolent1 wasting your time1 and placing too high a value upon things not worth while8 ,among strangers these faults may be buried1 never to come to life again4 ,you will be judged by what you are1 not by what you have been4 ,it is well to cultivate the habit of mind which lets the dead past bury its dead4 ,this was ,st4 ,paul's attitude toward the things of the past4 ,forgetting the things which are behind1 ,i press forward4 ,there are1 of course1 many memories of the past that one would never wish to forget1 memories of uplifting associations and of victories over weaknesses that give courage and strength for the future4 ,along with these1 however1 there are memories of mistakes and failures now irremediable but which1 though they cannot be effaced1 can1 in a measure1 be atoned for by the future4 ,constantly to look backward with pain and regret only paralyzes one's energy4 ,the fact that much is expected of you for the future should put you on your mettle and call forth your highest powers4 ,your duties and obligations to yourself and to others may1 for the most part1 be placed in four classes4 ,you have an intellectual life1 a moral and spiritual life1 a social life1 and a physical life4 ,your problem will be to adjust to one another the various claims upon you from these different sources4 ,this is not an easy task4 ,it is so difficult1 that1 because of inability to make the adjustment1 many make shipwreck of what seemed to be a promising career4 ,indeed1 he is a wise person who at any age has his life so harmoniously balanced that none of these different claims unduly crowd the others4 ,most of us are more or less one-sided4 ,the best that we can say is that we are working toward the goal of perfect adjustment4 ,few reach it4 ,there are in so-called society1 for example1 thousands of women who have so emphasized one side of their nature1 the social1 that all other sides are dwarfed4 ,life is one constant round of balls and dinners and social gayeties4 ,what ought to be the spice of life1 or its dessert1 has become the main dish of the feast4 ,so in school and college there are always some who make social pleasures the main issue1 forgetting all higher claims4 ,we see the exaltation of the physical life in the absurdly exaggerated emphasis placed upon athletics in many of the colleges for men4 ,the tacit insistence upon the supreme importance of these and kindred interests is one of the reasons why scholarship in ,america is inferior to that in some ,european countries4 ,though athletic interests do not often encroach upon scholarly work in our schools and colleges for women1 the same cannot be said of other activities1 such as dramatics and the manifold phases of social life4 ,one who cares only for the things of the intellect may be a clear1 cold logic engine1 but he is not of much use as a human being4 ,sympathy and spiritual vision are beyond his ken4 ,the finer side of his nature remains undeveloped4 ,he has become a machine1 as ,emerson declared1 a thinker1 not a man thinking4 ,the student who is merely a grind is not making the best of his opportunities4 ,in losing all sides of student life but one1 he is not even becoming a scholar in any real sense4 ,it is even possible to place too much emphasis upon the moral and spiritual side of life4 ,this does not mean that one's own moral standards can be too high1 nor does it mean that there is anything else which can weigh for a moment against character4 ,it does mean1 however1 that one has other obligations besides that of being good4 ,many a person who has walked the path of duty unflinchingly has lived a narrow and unlovely life4 ,it will be seen1 then1 that one of the most difficult lessons the young student will have to learn will be how much time and how much emphasis to give to each of these various provinces of student life4 ,there are people who regard the physical life as an end in itself and who live only for it4 ,browning has the right view when he says1-- ,to man1 propose this test-- ,thy body at its best1 ,how far can that project thy soul on its lone way8 ,the physical life always should be subordinated to the mental and the spiritual life1 yet the body must command our respect because it is the house in which the spirit dwells4 ,know ye not that your body is the temple of the ,holy ,ghost1 which is in you8 ,one of your first duties1 then1 is to take care of your health and to make your body the efficient1 ready instrument of your will4 ,you have no more important duty1 not only to self1 but to others1 than to obey the laws of health1 the most fundamental of which pertain to exercise1 sleep1 rest1 and food4 ,it is astonishing how few people1 especially how few women1 there are who do obey these simple laws1 the importance of which ought to be apparent to every one4 ,nature's disapproval of such disobedience is shown promptly1 and the penalty she inflicts is inexorable4 ,if ever ,i feel inclined to doubt the wisdom of any of ,nature's ways--which ,i really do not--it is when ,i see that girls1 young1 ignorant1 and inexperienced1 have so important a matter as their health given into their own keeping1 though their bad judgment or wilfulness may have consequences so dire6 ,be willing to deny yourself1 to put forth effort1 to pay a very high price if need be1 for a healthy body4 ,the desire for social intercourse is natural and right1 and the person who shuns the society of others is abnormal2 yet social intercourse probably offers1 in one form or another1 most of the dangers which beset both young women and young men while in school or college4 ,those who fail ignominiously and are obliged to withdraw1 fail1 not so often because of lack of ability or insufficient preparation as because they are swept off their feet by the multitude of their new engagements and social activities4 ,the mind is full of a thousand other things and study is deferred until a more convenient season1 which never comes4 ,in the college1 where comparatively little supervision over students is exercised1 this has disastrous consequences1 though in the school1 with its closer supervision1 the student is often saved from himself4 ,it seems hardly necessary to say that your friends and your pleasures must not monopolize your whole life4 ,with the sensible student1 work comes first and pleasure afterward4 ,one of the greatest temptations1 when you are surrounded by pleasant friends1 is to fritter time away4 ,hours1 days1 months pass by and leave very little that makes life permanently richer and stronger4 ,sometimes1 indeed1 the personality seems almost to disappear1 merged in that of others4 ,i have known girls who were miserable if they were left alone for half an hour4 ,the reason is that they have no resources within themselves4 ,they are parasites and derive their sustenance entirely from others4 ,such a life is not providing itself with the intellectual and spiritual resources which we all need to have at our command1 and which should be gained in youth or they are not likely to be gained at all4 ,be friendly1 be sociable1 give your love freely1 but preserve your own individuality and independence4 ,in no way do we reveal ourselves more surely than in our choice of companions4 ,be slow in choosing your nearest and dearest friends4 ,many a girl has been very unhappy because she rushed impetuously into a friendship from which she afterward had to extricate herself at the cost of great suffering both to herself and to her friend4 ,take plenty of time in selecting those who are to be your life friends1 and remember that here1 as everywhere1 ,all is not gold that glitters4 ,the intellectual life above all else distinguishes man from the brute creation4 ,schools and colleges exist chiefly for the purpose of developing the intellectual life of the young1 though one sometimes meets students who would admit the truth of that statement very reluctantly if at all4 ,a well-disciplined and well-furnished mind is one of the chief satisfactions of life4 ,changing fortune cannot take from us our mental treasure4 ,its value never diminishes1 but increases1 and never seems greater than when other things upon which we relied have been snatched from us4 ,if we place reliance upon money1 it may take to itself wings and fly away4 ,we cannot be sure of keeping health4 ,our friends may be taken from us4 ,is it not the part of wisdom1 in looking forward and preparing for what one hopes may be a successful and happy future1 to ask what are the durable satisfactions of life8 ,these should not be sacrificed for ephemeral pleasures4 ,the ability to focus a well-trained intelligence upon any problem in hand is one for which we should be willing to pay a high price4 ,intellectual capacity and a cultivated mind are not acquired without effort1 and cannot be secured by merely sitting through lectures or recitations4 ,the student who has a true sense of values will plan her life in so systematic and orderly a way that her use of time will be determined by something more than present inclination4 ,you must remember that in order to have this1 you must give up that4 ,one of the hardest things for the inexperienced to learn is that some very good things have to be sacrificed in order that we may not miss better things4 ,all through life this is so1 and there is no advantage in deferring the time when it must be learned4 ,to your daily work1 then1 give your best self1 realizing that if you fail in that1 you will derive but little comfort from the fact that you have had some success in other things4 ,mental concentration and correct methods of work should be the first lessons learned1 and they should be learned with thoroughness4 ,lastly1 we have a moral and spiritual nature4 ,one might have superb intellectual powers and brilliant social gifts1 yet if he lacked character1 these would bring him neither content nor success in any large sense4 ,character is the foundation upon which all success worthy the name must rest4 ,if the foundation be insecure1 it matters little how fine the superstructure4 ,when the writer of old said1 ,with all thy getting1 get wisdom1 he meant something more than knowledge4 ,wisdom means insight into life and into human nature4 ,still more1 it implies some comprehension of the ways of ,god with men1 that is1 of the profound laws which underlie the government of the moral and spiritual universe4 ,the greatest struggle of all1 to the student1 should be the struggle for the ideal life4 ,in moral and spiritual stature1 are you small8 ,then it is your sacred duty to become large4 ,where will there ever be a better opportunity than under the ideal conditions that surround you1 with stimulating lessons1 inspiring teachers1 understanding and appreciative friends and leisure to use all of these for the attainment of personal power8 ,remember that character is not something that will take care of itself4 ,you do not really expect to acquire knowledge for which you do not work4 ,you admit that if you would have intellectual capacity you must study and train the mind4 ,yet it is hard for you to comprehend that you have anything to do with the development of your own character4 ,do not believe that honor1 courage1 generosity and courtesy come by chance4 ,there is this to be said1 however1 about the development of character4 ,it is1 to use ,woodrow ,wilson's phrase1 a by-product4 ,as he says1 it comes whether you will or not as a consequence of a life devoted to duty4 ,you do not deliberately say1 ,i will improve my character4 ,what you do say is1 ,i will do the duty that plainly lies before me4 ,i will not shirk it4 ,i will not defer it4 ,in this way1 and perhaps only in this way1 does character grow4 ,there is no royal road to high character any more than there is to learning4 ,indeed1 there is no royal road to anything worth while4 ,what wouldst thou8 says the old proverb2 ,pay for it and take it4 ,character is formed from within1 by the efforts and strivings and aspirations of the individual4 ,the will is made strong by choosing the right1 not by having the right thrust upon it4 ,who can tell what momentous changes are to be wrought in your life by going away to school8 ,the windows of your soul will be opened in a hundred new directions4 ,you will learn1 or you ought to learn1 what things are most worth while4 ,there is so much more in life than you ever dreamed there was1 so much more of interest and beauty and abiding charm6 ,this means that even if you do your best there will be time for you to master only a little of that knowledge which attracts its devotees and forever beckons them on4 ,life is too short either to know or to do but a fraction of all that every earnest person longs to know and to do4 ,until we reach this view of things we can have no sense of the true value of time4 ,as soon as we do reach it1 as soon as we grasp something of the real worth of life1 we cannot waste time1 for time is the stuff of which life is made4 ----- ,footnote #a3 ,walter ,malone4 ,,ii ,,school ,,friendships ,send a boy to college1 says ,emerson1 and his fellows educate him2 and ,edward ,everett ,hale has said that the best part of the education one gets at college is that which his fellow students give him4 ,i have always felt sorry for those unfortunate children whose solitary education is obtained with tutors or governesses rather than in schools with other boys and girls4 ,while not disparaging the influence of the teacher1 which ,i well know from personal experience may be a transforming and vitalizing power in a young life1 ,i yet believe it to be true that the standards of most young people and their ways of looking at life are determined chiefly by the companions and intimate associates of their own age4 ,during certain periods of development1 at any rate1 the youth is shaped by the opinions and ideals of the world of his own contemporaries1 rather than1 as we teachers and parents sometimes fondly imagine1 by the ideals imposed upon him from our world4 ,we who have passed beyond that stage can recall how truly we lived and moved and had our being in that world1 with its standards which now1 perhaps1 seem to us somewhat unreal4 ,in matters of dress1 speech1 and deportment how much less we cared for the opinion of our elders than for the approval of our group or set of friends6 ,this period of life may be soon outgrown1 but while it lasts there are tremendous forces at work upon the young life1 and their potency for good or evil is often underestimated4 ,chief among these forces for good is a good friendship4 ,the real meaning of unselfishness has many a time been learned first through a strong friendship4 ,love is essentially self-forgetful4 ,only he who has learned to love has learned to live4 ,nothing more surely calls out the best in one and compels one to do his best than an ennobling friendship4 ,such friendships1 then1 should be encouraged and young people should have abundant opportunity for forming them4 ,one of the many advantages a fine school offers over even the best private instruction is the rich opportunity for congenial friendships4 ,like attracts like1 and the finest spirits in the school will be your friends if you have that within you which draws them and can hold them4 ,what you are to be during all the remainder of your life will be determined largely by the friends chosen now1 for they will help to give your nature its bent1 from which it is not likely to depart4 ,afterward1 looking back1 you will not be able to comprehend how life could have been lived at all if you had never met certain persons who have become a part of your very existence4 ,it is not only in youth that friendship is one of the chief blessings of life4 ,it has been regarded by the choicest spirits of every age as among the best gifts of the gods to men4 ,open any book of familiar quotations and you may read the tributes that have been paid to friendship by the great poets1 from ,bible times to the present4 ,it has generally been believed1 however1 that youth is the time when the most transforming and most enduring friendships are made4 ,this is1 doubtless1 because later in life we are likely to become engrossed with our own affairs1 the cares of life press upon us1 character becomes fixed1 and the outgoing of self demanded in a true friendship becomes increasingly difficult4 ,yet1 though youth is the ideal time for the formation of lasting friendships1 the great lack1 at this period of life1 is a true sense of values4 ,we do not enjoy our friendships to their full because we do not realize their worth4 ,youth is wasteful of many things1 but perhaps of nothing more than of friendship4 ,too many people wake up later in life to find that what has been so thoughtlessly thrown away never can be regained4 ,the privilege of having a friend and the privilege of being a friend are among the greatest blessings this world affords4 ,to discover in middle life that the friends of one's youth have1 one by one1 fallen away1 because one made no effort to keep them1 will be a sad awakening4 ,we all have our own conception of friendship1 based upon our own experiences2 thus to no two persons does the term mean exactly the same4 ,to some the content of the word grows richer and deeper as life goes on1 while with others the reverse is true4 ,the cynic believes there is no such thing as true friendship1 yet the cynic once was young and probably not a stranger to the transforming power of friendship4 ,what we are to believe about friendship1 then1 depends upon our own character and upon the kind of life we live4 ,it takes ideal people to form an ideal friendship2 therefore there are not many such friendships4 ,erring human beings that we are1 we carry our frailties into every relation of life4 ,i am of opinion1 says ,cicero1 that except among the virtuous1 friendship cannot exist4 ,have you a real friend8 ,while it is true that the friendship between you may not be an ideal one1 it is also true that through it you and your friend are both having a rare opportunity to grow toward your ideal and in this way to make your friendship perfect4 ,would you rid yourself of egregious faults8 ,there are two instead of one to grapple with each fault4 ,would you march on to the attainment of more splendid virtues8 ,there are two instead of one to struggle and to win the victory4 ,how to make friends perhaps no one can tell you1 since friends are born1 not made4 ,we choose our pleasures1 our books1 our occupations1 but we do not choose our friends4 ,we only discover them4 ,the formation of a friendship is an unconscious process and must be so4 ,there can be nothing deliberate and premeditated about it4 ,why is it that one sees the best in you and another the worst8 ,why does one understand before you speak while another cannot understand even after you explain8 ,if we could answer these questions we should be able to reduce friendship to a mathematical formula1 which no one wishes to do4 ,the mystery of it is one of its charms4 ,one can only say as did ,montaigne about his friend1 ,if a man should importune me to give a reason why ,i loved him ,i can only answer1 because it was he1 because it was ,i4 ,some people attract us by a certain intuition of character4 ,if the intuition be true and if there be adaptability and community of interests1 a foundation exists for a close and enduring friendship4 ,the basis for friendship is personality4 ,you have nothing to give your friend but yourself4 ,you should1 therefore1 make heavy demands upon yourself4 ,can you offer your friend anything less than a constantly enriching life8 ,good intentions are not enough2 there must be performance4 ,you have probably asked yourself many times whether you deserve this high friendship4 ,perhaps you do not4 ,then resolve that you sometime will deserve it4 ,you are interesting to your friend now4 ,what can you do that you may be more so to-morrow8 ,those who lack the power of making friends--and there are unfortunately many such--have one of two failings1 or both4 ,often they are not sincere4 ,the insincere person cannot be a true friend and may not have a true friend4 ,we demand that our friends shall ring true4 ,a much more common fault than insincerity is selfishness4 ,one may be not positively and actively selfish but self-centered4 ,the self-centered person does not know how to enter sympathetically into the feelings of others4 ,such persons should earnestly strive to share the joys and sorrows of those about them and to make the experiences of others their own4 ,sometimes we say of a person1 ,he has a genius for making friends4 ,such persons have in an eminent degree the capacity for carrying close to their hearts the interests of others4 ,remember that unless you really care about the concerns and the welfare of others1 there is no possible way to make them believe you do4 ,it is worth while to cultivate the art of making friends1 or1 rather1 it is worth while to put forth every effort to make one's self worthy of having friends4 ,he who said that a friend doubles our joys and halves our sorrows might have expressed it even more strongly4 ,the author of the ,book of ,ecclesiastes understood this when he wrote1 ,two are better than one2 because they have a good reward for their labour4 ,for if they fall1 the one will lift up his fellow3 but woe to him that is alone when he falleth2 for he hath not another to help him4 ,you owe your friend1 first of all1 integrity of character and sincerity in all your dealings4 ,with your friend you can be yourself1 your real self4 ,any pretense1 any deceit1 any concealment of vital things will create a barrier that nothing can ever break down4 ,you may or you may not admit your friend to the inmost recesses of your heart1 but so far as you do admit her1 there must be straightforward honesty4 ,integrity includes not only our dealings with our friends1 it affects all our relations with others4 ,the oft-quoted couplet from ,lovelace expresses a truth which it behooves every one to take to heart who would be or would have a friend3-- ,i could not love thee1 dear1 so much ,loved ,i not honour more4 ,no real friendship can exist without loyalty on both sides4 ,it is the place of a friend to look after the interests of her friend as if they were her own4 ,much inspiration may be gained from studying the great friendships of history1 such as that of ,david and ,jonathan1 of ,ruth and ,naomi1 or of ,tennyson and ,hallam4 ,does your friendship in comparison with any one of these seem insignificant1 even puerile8 ,then use the greatest friendship of which you know as a touchstone by which to test your own4 ,for a real friend to speak an unkind word about an absent friend is unthinkable4 ,to envy her1 or to desire precedence over her in any way1 is proof that your love for her is not real1 but only assumed4 ,how far should loyalty go8 ,we all remember the answer of ,christ when asked1 ,how often should ,i forgive my brother1 until seven times8 ,his answer1 until seventy times seven1 means1 as we all know1 that there should be no limit to one's forgiveness4 ,in the same way1 there should be no limit to your loyalty to your friend4 ,it should be bounded only by her need and your power4 ,of course1 there should be community of interests and mutual trust and self-revelation4 ,you have friends whom you admit only to the outer citadel of your heart4 ,some are good company and you love to share your pleasures with them1 but in your serious moments you turn away from them4 ,others share your work1 or some special interest in your life4 ,but with your real friend you share the deepest things of your existence4 ,she understands you in your highest moments1 she respects your ideals and shares them1 she comprehends the fundamental purpose of your life4 ,only friends who can share each other's best selves know the highest friendship4 ,i have said that there must be mutual self-revelation4 ,never make the mistake of urging the confidence of your friend4 ,do not force any doors4 ,if you have not the key that unlocks her heart1 try to find it by making yourself worthy4 ,self-giving must be voluntary or it is in vain4 ,we elicit from others only that which we have the power to make our own4 ,mutual trust would forever banish all petty jealousy4 ,your friend is not accountable to you for all her doings1 and for you to act as if she were will only estrange her from you4 ,life is too rich in opportunity for her to be limited by any one relationship4 ,if your friend's life is to expand1 her claims upon others and theirs upon her must be recognized4 ,if your friendship is a worthy one1 you are constantly gaining in patience1 in courtesy1 and in self-control1 for love is the greatest of all teachers4 ,do you promptly check each impatient word that springs to your lips8 ,do you show the friend who so easily overlooks your faults the same fine courtesy that you show to the stranger who would not overlook them8 ,what a strange idea we sometimes have that love gives us the privilege of rudeness6 ,your friend may love you in spite of an occasional fit of ill-temper1 but no one ever loved another better for it4 ,to be exacting1 domineering1 or selfish may not drive your friend completely away from you1 but it will not strengthen the tie that binds your hearts together4 ,there should be a certain equality between friends4 ,i do not mean that love is not able easily to bridge over many kinds of inequalities1 as that of a difference in station in life or in age1 or even in education4 ,i mean that a friendship is harmful when one of the friends is a parasite1 receiving everything and contributing nothing4 ,self-respect demands that each shall give as well as receive4 ,in his essay on ,friendship1 ,emerson says no truer word than this3 ,your friend is he who makes you do what you can4 ,one must not be a fault-finder or a thorn in the flesh of one's friends1 yet friendship has no more sacred duty than to point out faults by showing the better way4 ,he who truly loves is irreconcilable to faults in one whom he loves2 they blur the vision which always lies in his soul4 ,on the other hand1 it is especially the office of a friend to recognize the excellencies of his friend4 ,your friend is he who tells you of your virtues and who insists upon them most when you are most inclined to doubt their existence4 ,who of us is not at times sorely in need of this kindly office of a friend8 ,in our moments of discouragement1 when faith in self is at a low ebb1 the true friend comes to us and by his faith in us restores the balance of life4 ,and what a comfort then is that belief in us and in our powers and possibilities6 ,friends who do not perform this office1 each for the other1 as often as the opportunity arises1 have missed much of the blessedness of true friendship6 ,those who love know that love is not blind4 ,love has the truest sight4 ,if you want to know what a person really is1 do not ask one who hates him1 but one who loves him4 ,yet love may blind itself4 ,to shut your eyes to the faults of your friend is not the way to lessen those faults4 ,to stand between her and the penalty which her deeds have justly brought upon her is to deprive her of one of the most important means of growth4 ,if your affection is of a poor and narrow sort1 you will constantly urge your friend to consult her own pleasure and interests in preference to those of others1 in this way stifling in her every altruistic impulse4 ,acting and reacting upon each other in this way you will find that generous feeling and disinterested affection in both of you will constantly diminish4 ,any two people who love each other should cherish1 each in the other1 the spirit of self-forgetful service4 ,a friendship1 like everything else in life1 is known by its fruits4 ,men do not gather grapes of thorns nor figs from thistles4 ,the fruits of a worthy friendship are higher and ever higher ideals of life and duty4 ,if your friendship has made you less sensitive to other obligations and less responsive to the call of duty1 beware of it6 ,if your love for one has lessened your affection for your other friends1 it is not a good friendship4 ,friendship should expand the heart1 not contract it4 ,everything savoring of narrowness and exclusiveness is a hindrance4 ,you must love your friend so much that you love the whole world better because of her4 ,you must respect and reverence her so truly that all human nature is dignified and ennobled through her4 ,all things through thee take nobler form ,and look beyond the earth2 ,the mill-round of our fate appears ,a sun-path in thy worth4 ,what is the place of the emotional element in friendship8 ,not the chief place1 it may be confidently asserted4 ,in the richest and most enduring friendships1 other things are of more importance4 ,not that there is an absence of emotion--far from it4 ,the danger1 however1 of over-emphasizing emotion is that the friendship may descend to mere sentimentality4 ,what is more important than emotion in friendship1 do you ask8 ,the unity of spirit that gradually takes place in a fine friendship2 the feeling that each is perfectly understood by the other2 and the knowledge that each can depend upon the other's loyalty in any and every emergency of life4 ,it usually takes years to learn how to be a true friend and often some hard experiences are necessary to teach us to appreciate our friends4 ,sometimes we look back upon the wasted years1 and1 thinking how rich and happy they might have been1 we cry out1 ,if ,i had only known6 ,and sometimes1 alas6 our friends have to be taken from us ere we learn their worth4 ,then1 as we sit alone with our thoughts1 with what a heartache do we remember our every failure to measure up to the stature of the perfect friend6 ,if you would be a true friend and if you would appreciate your friends now1 without waiting for costly lessons1 ask yourself some searching questions4 ,do you care more about what you can get out of your friendship or about what you can put into it8 ,do you think more about being served or about serving8 ,do you wonder whether your friend loves you enough or whether you cannot love her more8 ,do you never imagine yourself slighted or neglected or misunderstood8 ,if you can answer these questions as they ought to be answered1 you are on the way to a perfect friendship4 ,phillips ,brooks1 who was famous for his friendships1 wrote1 ,surely there is no more beautiful sight to see in all this world than the growth of two friends' natures1 who1 as they grow old together1 are always fathoming with newer needs deeper depths of each other's life and opening richer views of one another's helpfulness4 ,does friendship cost anything8 ,yes4 ,all the best things in the world cost something and only they can have them who are willing to pay the price4 ,in its highest and most enduring form friendship belongs1 as ,i have said1 only to the highest and finest natures4 ,so much does it cost that no others will--perhaps no others can--pay the price4 ,what is the price8 ,that is the point--one never knows the cost in advance4 ,whatever the price1 however1 the true friend is ready to pay it4 ,no sacrifice is too great to make for a real friend4 ,yet1 sad to say1 many a friendship makes shipwreck even though no heroic1 sublimely self-sacrificing deeds were demanded of either of the parties to it4 ,the things that would have kept it alive were so little1 so easy1 but they were too much6 ,after your school days are over and you and your friend have gone your separate ways1 it will take time to write those weekly letters4 ,will your friendship be worth enough to you to pay that price8 ,and by and by1 when new interests have come into your life1 it will be even less easy to perform those offices of friendship which must not be neglected if friends are to continue to have any share in each other's lives4 ,to keep up the pretty customs of old--to send the birthday gift1 the ,christmas remembrance1 the occasional message of warm and unchanging love--all these things take time in such a busy world6 ,and so the little rift within the lute appears1 which1 ever widening1 will slowly silence all4 ,it is not a cheerful story1 but it is the history of many a friendship which had believed itself eternal4 ,some of our early friendships we outgrow1 and it is best that we should4 ,it is part of putting away childish things4 ,but if we realized what we were doing1 it is inconceivable that we should ever depart so far from the dreams of our youth as to let any true friendship go4 ,unless you are very watchful and loving1 then1 the old friends will1 one by one1 drop out of your life and make no sign4 ,i beg that you will see to it that there is at least a handful of them left4 ,they should be the real ones1 who genuinely loved you and always will4 ,grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel4 ,never let them go4 ,let no changing tides of fortune sweep them from you4 ,be very patient with them as you expect them to be with you4 ,make allowances for the innumerable appearances of neglect1 saying to yourself that they are only appearances4 ,friends who bear and forbear with each other in this way will find that the friendship grows deeper and stronger with each succeeding year4 ,if you really want to be such a friend as ,i have described1 ,i can think of nothing that will help you more than to read over often the thirteenth chapter of ,st4 ,paul's first ,epistle to the ,corinthians1 that matchless chapter on love1 and to try to make your affection as near as possible like that which he describes4 ,nowhere else1 in the ,bible or out of it1 have we so clear1 so true1 so moving a description of love4 ,just to read it over brings a glow to the heart and a kindlier feeling toward the whole human race4 ,let the love that you give to your friends be the love that suffereth long and is kind2 that envieth not1 that seeketh not its own1 is not easily provoked2 that beareth all things1 believeth all things1 hopeth all things1 endureth all things2 above all1 that never faileth4 ,,iii ,,the ,,art ,,of ,,living ,,with ,,others ,you may not think living with others is an art1 but it is one of the finest and most difficult of arts4 ,by learning it early in life we save ourselves many unpleasant experiences4 ,if we are difficult to live with1 our punishment is severe and inexorable4 ,no one will live with us who can escape from us4 ,we all know people who1 upon entering a room1 bring with them a cloud4 ,on the other hand1 we also know those whose coming always brings sunshine4 ,some one said of a young friend of mine of unusually radiant personality1 ,when she went down the corridor it seemed as if a light had passed by4 ,a ,boston daily paper once had this item3 ,yesterday was dark and rainy1 but ,phillips ,brooks passed down ,newspaper ,row and the sun shone4 ,it goes without saying that these persons were good to live with4 ,one may be honest1 sincere1 generous1 and1 in the main1 kind1 and yet be difficult to live with because of the absence of the so-called lesser virtues4 ,we must have the elemental virtues as foundations of character1 but they are not enough4 ,as a ,bible writer puts it1 it is the little foxes that spoil the vineyards4 ,the little foxes are the little faults which arise within us almost unnoticed1 and which grow upon us with added years4 ,some of these faults cause people to want to avoid us and seek the company of those who are pleasanter to have about4 ,to want to be liked is a laudable desire when one does not sacrifice anything higher for it4 ,to aim to be a person whose presence brings gladness to others is not only your right1 but your duty4 ,there is a cheap popularity which those who seek it are willing to purchase at any cost4 ,that is not what ,i am talking about4 ,i will name some of the little faults which often spoil an otherwise admirable character4 ,unnecessary criticism of others4 ,i say unnecessary criticism4 ,all honor and praise to the one who can speak the word of admonishment or reproof when it ought to be spoken and in the right spirit and the right manner2 who can give warning or suggestion at the proper time and place and in a tactful way4 ,we all need more friends who are not afraid to tell us of our faults with the high motive of aiding us to overcome them2 who will even run the risk of losing our friendship in order that they may help us to be true to our best selves4 ,but how much of the fault-finding in the world does any good or is intended to do any good8 ,is it not true that much of it merely gives vent to irritability on the part of the fault-finder8 ,the next time you are tempted to find fault1 ask yourself two questions3 ,first1 will it do any good8 ,next1 am ,i doing it in the right spirit8 ,unless these two questions can be answered in the affirmative1 then silence is golden4 ,moreover1 criticism should1 whenever possible1 be tempered with praise4 ,we can take much from one who recognizes the good in us and who knows that our virtues far outweigh our failings4 ,another of the little foxes is fretfulness1 grumbling1 nagging1 call it what you will4 ,we all recognize it when we come in contact with it and probably we have been shocked at times to discover it in ourselves4 ,this fault grows rapidly in the atmosphere of loving tolerance4 ,it never would have an opportunity to develop in us if we were not surrounded by those who love us1 make excuses for us1 and put up with us4 ,strangers would not submit to it and we should not think of asking them to do so4 ,it is a subtle danger1 that creeps on us so stealthily that often we are not aware of its approach4 ,it may come at first from some disordered physical state4 ,the happy1 healthy child does not whine1 the ailing child usually does2 too often this is the beginning of an irritability that pursues its victim through life4 ,we ,americans are a nervous1 excitable people1 partly1 perhaps1 because of climatic conditions4 ,a stimulating climate fosters a tendency to disorders of the nervous system4 ,we should1 therefore1 be on our guard against this type of sin that doth so easily beset us4 ,our physical condition is usually more within our control than we are willing to admit4 ,the girl who keeps late hours1 takes little exercise1 and eats injudiciously is morally responsible for her irritable condition1 for the remedy is in her own hands4 ,can you not remember some time when you retired at night feeling ill-used and unappreciated1 filled with the thought that life was full of trials and crosses and that your lot was particularly unhappy--only to wake up the next morning in a glorious world where your condition in life seemed a very fortunate one8 ,it is not necessary to adduce arguments to prove that one of your first duties is to keep yourself every day and every hour of your life in the best possible physical condition4 ,you can conquer only by making it a matter of conscience4 ,alternating work and rest1 sufficient recreation and amusement1 and always some change after prolonged labor are necessary to keep one in good physical condition4 ,as a result1 you find yourself in possession of a serenity and a self-control which forbid irritability4 ,have you a quick1 hot temper8 ,you cannot live amicably with others until you have learned to control it4 ,a display of temper is the flash of lightning1 the burst of flame4 ,it is all over in an instant1 yet1 in a fit of temper what may one not say or do8 ,he is beside himself1 we say--that is1 he is no longer himself1 but some one else outside of himself4 ,have you ever1 in a burst of temper1 wounded those you love best in all the world8 ,have you said or done things that you feared had lost you the respect of some one whose good opinion was of priceless value to you8 ,have you given utterance to words that you would give years of your life to recall8 ,if so1 worse1 almost1 than anything else1 is the fact that you have lost your own self-respect4 ,what is more undignified1 more ridiculous than one who has lost control of himself and is saying and doing things to-day of which he will bitterly repent to-morrow8 ,remember that nothing can more easily cost you the respect of others than a display of temper4 ,thereafter you are marked as one who lacks balance1 dignity1 power4 ,if wishing could bring them back1 ,if wishing could bring them back-- ,the wrathful words that flew away ,to mar the joy of another's day-- ,if wishing could bring them back6 ,but wishing cannot bring them back1 as we all know to our cost4 ,the only thing to do is to learn our lesson and in the future to keep the mastery of self4 ,he that ruleth his spirit is better than he that taketh a city4 ,if you have a quick temper1 do not bemoan the fact1 but be thankful4 ,it probably means that you have spirit1 enthusiasm1 power to do things1 the achieving will4 ,do not ask to change places with the sluggish person who lacks the capacity to feel keenly and to dare greatly4 ,rather1 learn to control your temper instead of letting it control you4 ,we do not admire a person who cannot get angry4 ,in reading the biography of a great man recently1 ,i found these words3 ,he had the power of a great wrath4 ,is it not true that all people who have accomplished large things have had this power8 ,george ,washington was seldom angry1 yet1 when his righteous indignation was roused1 it was like a consuming fire4 ,we all remember the story of ,abraham ,lincoln1 who1 when only a young man1 seeing some slaves auctioned off in the ,new ,orleans slave market1 declared1 ,if ,i ever get a chance to hit that thing ,i will hit it hard6 ,and he did hit it hard4 ,st4 ,paul says1 ,be ye angry and sin not4 ,christ himself more than once showed the power of a great indignation1 as witness the occasion when he drove the money-changers out of the temple with a whip of cords4 ,there are wrongs being done that should cause your blood to boil with indignation1 and you will be not less but more capable of feeling and expressing your wrath at wrong-doing if you control yourself when small things cross you4 ,the acquirement of self-control is not so difficult as it seems4 ,all you need to do is to make it a habit4 ,if you only knew it1 some of the calmest1 serenest1 most self-controlled persons of your acquaintance were once conspicuous for a high temper4 ,what man has done man can do4 ,self-will is a fault which spoils many friendships and is an element of discord in many families4 ,it is a determination to have one's own way4 ,if one is persistent and disagreeable enough about it1 one always succeeds in getting it1 for others will not think the matter of sufficient importance continually to oppose4 ,when we have this quality in youth1 by middle age people are saying of us1 ,he is set in his ways1 he is domineering1 autocratic4 ,this tendency often shows itself in a determination to have the last word4 ,who has not at some time been in a family where heated discussions were continually arising out of some trifle8 ,one says the thing in question happened ,monday and another insists it was ,thursday1 until finally every one has forgotten what was the real subject of discussion4 ,in the intercourse between you and your friend1 is there one whose will prevails in every case of disagreement8 ,then beware4 ,that way lies danger for both4 ,in your family is there one who determines every plan and settles every course of action8 ,some one is in danger of becoming a despot4 ,if we would be good to live with we must not be too exacting4 ,we all have the defects of our qualities1 and this fault is one that often characterizes the person of very high ideals4 ,we ought to be dissatisfied with ourselves4 ,a passion for perfection should forever forbid any self-complacency4 ,we ought also to demand the best of others so far as we may4 ,but how far have we a right to hold them to the same standards as ourselves8 ,we do not know the springs of action in their lives1 the moving why they do it4 ,do not give your friends the uncomfortable feeling that you are continually disappointed in them4 ,good sense1 sympathy1 and tact are necessary if we would act the rle of mentor to those about us4 ,the intolerant person is hard to live with4 ,by intolerance ,i mean the inability to get another person's point of view4 ,we are prone to demand that others look through our own glasses2 we think that any other point of view than ours is wrong4 ,young people are said to be1 on the whole1 intolerant4 ,the tolerant spirit we often acquire as we grow older4 ,if you are serious-minded1 do not think all lively people frivolous4 ,if you are gay1 remember that not all serious persons are stupid4 ,when you respect others1 respect their opinions and try to see the reason for them4 ,we need more of that kind of trust in each other4 ,not all the good people are in your church nor are all the honest men in your father's political party4 ,discourtesy is one of the enemies of friendly intercourse4 ,by this ,i mean all that is not gentle1 kindly1 and refined4 ,rudeness kills affection almost as readily as does unfaithfulness4 ,we should not neglect with our nearest and dearest those refinements and amenities which we instinctively practice with strangers1 and which oil the machinery of life and make it run smoothly4 ,do you say1 ,but ,i must be myself in my own home4 ,i must speak as ,i please and act as ,i feel8 ,not if to be yourself is to act the churl2 not if it is to blurt out every unkind thought that may come to your mind4 ,home is the place for dressing-gown and slippers1 not for boorishness4 ,it is a great thing to be able to win friends1 but greater to be able to keep them4 ,as similarity of mind1 ,or something not to be defined ,first fixes our attention1 ,so manners decent and polite1 ,the same we practiced at first sight1 ,will save it from declension4 ,finally1 no selfish person is good to live with4 ,selfishness in one form or another is at the root of most of the evil in the world4 ,it is an insidious foe1 and there are none of us whom it does not attack4 ,it is in the home that habits of unselfishness must be developed or they are likely never to be developed at all4 ,in the home there is an opportunity to practice unselfishness every day and every hour4 ,nowhere else are there so many opportunities to be watchful of the needs of others and to be ready to supply them4 ,nowhere else are the occasions so manifold in which one may surrender one's own pleasure for the good of others4 ,yet1 wherever people live together1 there is constant opportunity for the practice of this virtue4 ,these are some of the little foxes that spoil the vines4 ,there have been people who have been exacting1 fault-finding1 irritable1 self-willed1 and discourteous1 who yet have lived honest lives and have accomplished something of good in the world4 ,yet the good accomplished would have been far greater and their lives would have been much happier if1 to the more fundamental virtues1 there had been added the fine flowering of character which comes with the addition of those particular qualities which make one comfortable to live with1 a pleasant person to have about4 ,,iv ,,enduring ,,hardness#b ,in the beautiful cathedral in ,oxford there is a stained-glass window1 each pane of which represents certain well-known characters in the ,bible4 ,upon my first visit to the cathedral one of these windows immediately attracted my attention1 and ,i never visited the place afterward without finding my eyes wandering to that spot4 ,the picture is of the child ,timothy1 kneeling by the side of his mother1 who is teaching him4 ,in its child-purity and wistfulness1 the boy ,timothy reminds one of the ,infant ,samuel by ,sir ,joshua ,reynolds4 ,timothy1 as you know1 was a young friend of ,st4 ,paul's1 and the two epistles in the ,new ,testament called by his name were letters which ,st4 ,paul wrote to the young man1 whom he loved as a son1 and whom1 indeed1 again and again he calls his son4 ,st4 ,paul was a man who won to a remarkable degree the admiration and love of those with whom he lived and worked4 ,he seems to have been almost without kindred in the years when we know him1 going about from place to place and establishing churches1 then leaving them to the care of others4 ,but1 though without a home of his own or family ties1 he finds himself at home and among dear friends wherever he goes4 ,few men have ever been so loved4 ,he always made a place for himself in the hearts of the people with whom he worked4 ,this was particularly true of the young men about him1 and we have many touching passages showing his affection for them and theirs for him4 ,he says he yearns to see them1 he longs for their welfare1 he prays for them without ceasing1 and he sends these young men out filled with his spirit1 to carry on his work4 ,of these young men1 ,timothy seems to have been the one he loved best4 ,he sent him to be the head of some of the churches as a sort of bishop1 and the two letters which we have from ,st4 ,paul to him are letters of advice regarding the management of the churches4 ,they emphasize above all things the importance of personal character4 ,timothy1 as we learn from these letters of ,st4 ,paul1 had been brought up most religiously by his mother1 ,lois1 and his grandmother1 ,eunice1 who seem to have been two of ,paul's dearest friends and co-workers4 ,from a child thou hast known the scriptures1 which are able to make thee wise unto salvation1 said ,st4 ,paul to him4 ,study to show thyself approved unto ,god1 a workman that needeth not to be ashamed4 ,thou1 therefore1 endure hardness1 as a good soldier of ,jesus ,christ4 ,the letter from which these sentences are taken1 the second ,epistle to ,timothy1 is supposed to be the last letter ,paul ever wrote4 ,it was written under peculiarly solemn circumstances and contains the deep1 heartfelt advice of an old man to a young man whom he loves as his own child4 ,it is a sad letter1 because ,paul is in prison and he knows that his end is near4 ,he believes that he will soon be put to death1 and we know that his premonition proved true4 ,in the last letter which he was ever to pen he speaks of the things which he most desires for his beloved ,timothy4 ,i think we shall be impressed with the fact that he omits the gifts that most people wish for those whom they love1 and asks for some others upon which the world has not been prone to set high value4 ,fathers toil that they may give their children wealth and all that it will buy4 ,they slave in offices1 wear out their health1 and give up most of the refining and elevating influences of life4 ,and the children squander as fast as they can the money that has come to them so easily1 in ways that only do them harm2 in ways that take energy and will and purpose out of them2 or rather1 that never give these virtues an opportunity to develop4 ,a few years ago much attention was directed to an epigrammatic remark of ,mr4 ,roosevelt's in regard to the ,american multi-millionaire1 whose son is a fool and whose daughter a foreign princess4 ,the gratification of every want without effort on the part of the individual must breed selfishness and a whole train of attendant evils4 ,indeed1 many young people whose parents are far from wealthy grow up with utterly selfish ideas about money and little knowledge of its true use and value4 ,i might speak of many more things which indulgent parents often wish for their children1 but perhaps they may all be summed up in one phrase--easy lives4 ,they want no rough winds to blow on their beloved ones2 for them no dusty roads1 or stony paths1 or rugged heights to climb4 ,they must walk in sunshine on beds of flowers4 ,for the children of others the toil1 the hardship1 the suffering2 for their own a life of luxurious ease4 ,but what gift or blessing does ,st4 ,paul ask for the young man so dear to him8 ,an easy1 luxurious life8 ,how the great apostle would have scorned such a thought6 ,instead he asks that the youth may learn how to endure hardness4 ,hardness in our lives is not likely to be mainly physical hardship1 perhaps not that at all1 though this kind of endurance was one of the elements that contributed to ,st4 ,paul's greatness4 ,he tells us that he had been beaten with rods1 that he had been stoned1 had suffered shipwreck1 cold1 hunger1 and nakedness4 ,nothing daunted him1 no obstacle was to him insurmountable1 he feared naught1 even death itself4 ,the greatness of his work is due to his remarkable physical endurance as well as to his superb moral courage4 ,in comparison with him how weak and useless must even the best of us seem to ourselves6 ,though we may never be called upon to endure dangers or privations1 can we not see what a splendid thing it is1 this independence of physical comfort1 this fearlessness1 this dependence upon inward resources rather than upon outward support8 ,and yet how many people we know whose day is spoiled if the morning meal is not to their taste1 whose spirits sink with cloudy weather1 whose physical comfort or discomfort largely governs disposition and conduct6 ,surely a quality which it is worth the while of young people to cultivate is physical hardness--ability to endure discomfort1 indifference to luxury and ease1 independence of outward conditions4 ,but for most of us there is another kind of enduring hardness which is even more important4 ,it is learning to do without the things we cannot or ought not to have1 whatever they may be1 and to derive happiness from the things which we can have4 ,it is learning to do as a matter of course the difficult and the disagreeable things that ought to be done4 ,there is not one of us who does not long for some unattainable thing4 ,yet if it is not for us1 we should turn to what we have1 or can have1 and make the best of that4 ,suppose that circumstances refuse to allow you to surround yourself with the friends you love best or to live after the manner that would most please you1--and this will happen to many after school days are over1--what is there left but to make the very most of the friends whose companionship you have and to find the best in the circumstances which surround you8 ,and if you cannot choose the kind of life you dream would be best for you1 in the place where you feel that you could be happiest1 remember that success or failure in life for you will depend upon your power to adapt yourself to your environment and to draw forth1 from every inevitable combination of circumstances1 new material for growth4 ,this is1 in a very high sense1 enduring hardness4 ,suppose you have been making cherished plans for the future and all at once they are torn to shreds4 ,what then8 ,can you pick up the threads of your life1 change the pattern1 but still weave something beautiful with them8 ,and can you do it--not with cold and stoic fortitude1 but cheerfully and serenely8 ,if so1 that is enduring hardness in the same spirit in which ,st4 ,paul endured it4 ,it is well for us sometimes to imagine ourselves stripped of all these external props to happiness1 such as money1 position1 and influential friends1 and to ask ourselves what kind of a life we could make without them4 ,it is then that we find out what we are really worth4 ,we all believe--though we usually act as if we did not believe it--that to build up a strong and noble character is the chief end and aim of life4 ,but how seldom1 unless forced by circumstance1 do we give ourselves the opportunity of acquiring those virtues which more than any others make for high character6 ,nothing is so good for the development of character as struggle1 suffering1 hardness4 ,i remember a letter that ,i received recently from a young woman of my acquaintance4 ,the only daughter of wealthy parents1 she had enjoyed every advantage and comfort of life and she knew that it was likely she would continue to have them4 ,this very fact gave her anxiety1 and she wrote1 ,what can we1 who are born to luxury1 do to offset the lack of struggle8 ,she did well to be anxious4 ,there must be something to counterbalance this lack1 yet how few who are born to wealth realize it6 ,i often say to myself1 as ,i think of some aimless1 indolent1 yet really able girl1 ,what a blessing it would be if she were thrown upon her own resources and forced to earn her own living6 ,of another1 too pleasure-loving1 lacking in earnestness and depth of character1 ,i regretfully say1 ,i am afraid nothing will touch her or wake her up to the realities of life until some great grief comes to her4 ,what a pity to be able to learn one's lesson only at such great cost6 ,when ,adoniram ,judson1 about to go to ,india as one of the group of our earliest foreign missionaries a little over one hundred years ago1 sought in marriage the hand of ,ann ,hasseltine1 of ,bradford1 he wrote as follows to her father3-- ,i have now to ask whether you can consent to part with your daughter early in the spring1 to see her no more in this world2 whether you can consent to her departure for a heathen land1 and her subjection to the hardships and sufferings of a missionary life2 whether you can consent to her exposure to the dangers of the ocean2 to the fatal influence of the southern climate of ,india2 to every kind of want and distress2 to degradation1 persecution1 and perhaps a violent death4 ,a remarkable letter1 indeed6 ,and ,adoniram ,judson and ,ann1 his wife1 did suffer most of the hardships predicted4 ,but if they had not1 those lands which sat in darkness would not have seen a great light4 ,the blessings of civilization and of ,christianity would not have spread to the remotest parts of the earth as they have1 unless there had been some cast in heroic mould who were ready to take their lives in their hands and if need be pay the last full measure of devotion4 ,the habit of having everything one wants and of doing all one desires to do is a fatal habit and never should be formed at any age1 especially in youth4 ,instead1 cultivate independence of luxury and ease and learn the joy that ,st4 ,paul felt in knowing that he had within himself the power to meet and cope with whatever difficulties1 obstacles1 or dangers life might have in store for him4 ,in this thought of ,phillips ,brooks we find a striking likeness to the earnest message of ,st4 ,paul to ,timothy3-- ,do not pray for easy lives6 ,pray to be stronger men6 ,do not pray for tasks equal to your powers2 pray for powers equal to your tasks6 ,then the doing of your work shall be no miracle1 but you shall be a miracle4 ,every day you shall wonder at yourself1 at the richness of life which has come in you by the grace of ,god4 ----- ,footnote #b3 ,certain disputed points regarding the authorship of the ,epistles to ,timothy and other critical questions connected with these books are not pertinent here4 ,v ,,the ,,rhythm ,,of ,,life ,in the third chapter of the ,book of ,ecclesiastes occur some verses which have suggested the subject of this talk4 ,they illustrate a certain balance or rhythm in nature and in life4 ,to everything there is a season1 and a time to every purpose under heaven2 ,a time to be born1 and a time to die2 a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted2 ,a time to weep and a time to laugh2 a time to mourn and a time to dance4 ,these words are used by the author1 not so much to illustrate the rhythm of life as its monotony4 ,he is not admiring the wonderful harmony which meets us in nature wherever we turn1 so much as he is lamenting that there is nothing new in nature or in human life4 ,the same things recur over and over again4 ,the sun rises in the morning only to go down again in the evening1 and the same process will be repeated through endless to-morrows4 ,the rivers all run into the sea1 yet the sea is not full4 ,that which hath been is what shall be4 ,man is born1 laughs and labors and weeps1 and when his little life is ended1 dies4 ,this has been the history of countless multitudes and it will be the history of countless multitudes to come4 ,there is nothing new under the sun4 ,written as this book was at the darkest hour of ,hebrew history1 at a time of oppression and unrest1 it is a sad book4 ,the writer1 a serious and earnest-minded man1 strives nobly to discover light for himself and his race1 but the world looks dark4 ,yet he is a brave and devout soul1 and his book1 so full of stimulus to high endeavor1 ought to be read more widely than it is4 ,the words ,i have quoted may well start several different trains of thought4 ,one of these ,i will suggest4 ,there is nothing new under the sun1 it is true2 but we do not need anything new4 ,the same old things we have always had are just what we need and shall always need2 as springtime and harvest1 day and night1 work and rest4 ,in the regular recurrence of these great and necessary things is found the rhythm of life in accordance with which we live and must live4 ,may we learn something from nature's ways that will help us to make our lives strong8 ,i think so4 ,have you ever thought of rhythm in nature8 ,here there is no monotony1 but constant and beneficent change4 ,nothing1 perhaps1 is quite so blessed as the sunshine1 yet eternal day would be almost as bad as eternal night4 ,how our tired eyes would long for the calm and restful darkness6 ,we love the springtime and the warm days and the green growing things2 but how much more we love them because they follow cold and snow1 leafless trees and bare earth6 ,nowhere do we find the rhythm of nature better illustrated than in our bodies1 these wonderful machines only partially under our control4 ,sleeping and waking1 the contraction and extension of the muscles1 the inhalation and exhalation of the breath are a few of the many examples4 ,the most important of all the activities of the body1 the systole and diastole of the heart1 ,nature keeps within her own control1 and gives alternate work and rest to that vital organ1 as if to say that when it comes to a matter of life and death1 man cannot be trusted to his own keeping4 ,fortunate it is that this is so1 for if it rested with us to decide when they should work and when rest1 some eager1 ambitious hearts would beat themselves to death ere life had well begun4 ,this polarity in nature is nowhere better stated than in ,emerson's essay on ,compensation3-- ,polarity1 or action and reaction1 we meet in every part of nature2 in darkness and light2 in heat and cold2 in the ebb and flow of waters2 in male and female2 in the inspiration and expiration of plants and animals2 in the systole and diastole of the heart2 in the undulations of fluids and of sounds2 in the centrifugal and centripetal gravity2 in electricity1 galvanism and chemical affinity4 ,if the south attracts1 the north repels4 ,to empty here1 you must condense there4 ,what can nature teach us of rhythm that will help us build our lives up into rounded completion8 ,to begin with1 we may learn something of the relations which should exist between us and our fellow men4 ,the hermit who withdraws himself from the society of his fellows to live by himself1 even though his purpose may be to commune with nature or with nature's ,god1 is not living in accordance with ,god's laws4 ,man is a social being and is dependent upon intercourse with other human beings for his complete development4 ,no one can cut himself off from his fellow men without damage4 ,on the other hand1 too constant association with others works even greater harm4 ,wordsworth felt this when he wrote3-- ,the world is too much with us3 late and soon1 ,getting and spending1 we lay waste our powers3 ,little we see in ,nature that is ours2 ,we have given our hearts away1 a sordid boon6 ,we may learn from nature's rhythm of life that we need both society and solitude4 ,to adjust these to each other in proper degree is a problem for each of us4 ,are you one of the unfortunate persons who cannot be happy for a moment unless in the company of others8 ,if so1 you are preparing an unhappy future4 ,if you find yourself so dull a companion1 how can you expect others to find you interesting8 ,you are not developing the resources without which no life can be permanently happy4 ,give yourself occasionally an opportunity to think your own thoughts1 to question your own heart1 and to get acquainted with yourself4 ,you will be all the better a companion to others for it1 and1 moreover1 you will be better company for yourself1 for you will be led to develop inner resources4 ,i once heard an ,indian ,buddhist priest tell of the custom in his country of requiring each child in a family to spend one hour a day quietly in a room by himself1 thinking good thoughts4 ,an hour a day so spent by some young people ,i know would be helpful in arousing to greater independence of mind and originality of thought4 ,some of us1 however1 need to make serious effort to acquire the power of entering easily into cordial relations with others4 ,if you have a tendency to hold aloof1 if you are not at your ease with those with whom you happen to be thrown1 and find it difficult to enter into friendly relations with them1 set yourself earnestly to correct this defect4 ,such tendencies allowed to go unchecked are almost sure to result in many lonely hours4 ,meditation without action makes dreamers4 ,constant activity without reflection means a loss of the intellectual grasp of things4 ,jesus1 after a day of the most active ministry1 usually sought the loneliness of the mountains and there found strength for the work of the following day4 ,so1 on one day in seven1 our busy1 hurrying tasks cease1 and we have a day for rest and worship4 ,let us do all we can to guard ,sunday against the dangers that threaten it and that would make it exactly like all other days4 ,to say nothing of its religious uses1 the rhythm of life demands that one day in the week be given to rest and to thoughts and interests far removed from those of our busy work-days4 ,some one has said that ,sunday should be joyous 7unlike the ,sunday of the ,puritans71 different1 that is1 different from the other days of the week1 and uplifting4 ,not until we have passed out of early youth are we likely to comprehend the fact that life itself has tidal times4 ,a mood of exaltation is likely to be followed by one of depression4 ,life waxes and wanes2 it does not stand still4 ,we learn to take ourselves at our best and to be patient with ourselves at our worst4 ,when faith and courage are low1 we come to know that soon they will return in all their strength4 ,doubt of self and one's powers will be followed by self-confidence4 ,thus we learn never to make important decisions or to begin new and weighty enterprises at ebb tide4 ,there is1 in another sense from that which ,shakespeare meant1 a tide in the affairs of men which should be seized4 ,work and play are both essential in the healthy life4 ,we know the result of all work and no play4 ,even good1 wholesome1 congenial work makes us dull if it is never relieved and brightened by recreation4 ,many a faithful worker has broken down under the strain of unremitting toil1 who might have doubled or trebled his years of usefulness if a little play could have been mingled with the work4 ,to one who plays all the time1 that is1 who has no work in life1 play soon becomes stale and wearisome4 ,after the period of childhood is passed1 when play should be the main business of life1 it seems to be an inexorable law of nature that those who will not work shall not play4 ,have you ever visited any of the great winter resorts of the ,south8 ,if so you have noticed that they are filled largely with people who have no pursuit in life except that of having a good time4 ,while the world's work is being done by others1 they lead a butterfly existence4 ,what wonder that they wear a discontented look6 ,everywhere they seek for happiness and wonder why they fail to find the elusive creature4 ,it would not be difficult to tell them4 ,those who refuse to do the world's work are denied a share in its play1 and thus does ,nature assert the supremacy of her laws4 ,no people in the world have so good a time when they play as those who work hard--if they also know how to play well4 ,self-denial1 waiting1 and anticipation give a zest to pleasure that can come in no other way4 ,in one of ,charles ,lamb's essays he speaks of the keen delight which he and his sister took1 during the days when toil was unceasing and income small1 on the rare occasions when they could afford to go to the theater4 ,the poorest seats amply satisfied their desires1 and it seemed to them that no one in the house was so happy as they4 ,could those good old one-shilling gallery days return1 could you and ,i be once more struggling up those inconvenient staircases1 pushed about and squeezed and elbowed by the poorest rabble of poor gallery scramblers1 ,i would be willing to bury more wealth than ,croesus had to purchase it4 ,the woman who gives herself up wholly to a society life never finds happiness in that life2 but let her make something really worth while her main object1 whether it be bringing up a family1 writing books1 or working in a settlement1 and her social pleasures will then give her relaxation and delight4 ,it is the student who works hard and who feels the glow of accomplishment who can put most zest into a game on the athletic field4 ,our country probably has more workers than any other who do not take enough time to play4 ,it is so easy for our earnest1 energetic people to fall into this habit4 ,work is sweet and we think we cannot have too much of it4 ,sometimes1 too1 we get an exaggerated idea of our own importance4 ,we think that if we stop work for a moment all the wheels of progress will stand still4 ,never did any people feel the intensity of life as we ,americans of this generation do4 ,we have heard the gospel of efficiency preached on every hand1 but we have not often been told how to maintain a high level of efficiency for a long period4 ,those who are efficient1 and at the same time willing1 invariably have more put upon them than they can do4 ,in addition to legitimate work1 there is auxiliary work of various kinds4 ,committee meetings and other services for the general good consume for many of us a great deal of time4 ,so we keep chasing duties and go to bed every night plagued by the host that we have left undone4 ,yet1 shall we regret that we live in an age of opportunity8 ,if we are counted among the efficient1 who are given a large share of work to do1 shall we be sorry8 ,on the contrary1 let us remember that more to be pitied than any one else is the person who1 because he has no work in life1 is obliged to hunt for occupation4 ,the real trouble is that most of us do not know the secret of economizing our time and strength4 ,let us ask what the rhythm of life demands of us4 ,no one is capable of incessant toil without serious damage4 ,our highest good demands that there shall be constant alternation of labor and rest1 or work and play4 ,some forms of work are play because they involve different powers of mind and body from our regular work4 ,many a scholar has studied until his eyes were dimmed and his mind dulled only to find that he had himself defeated his own purpose4 ,many a business man has given himself no rest until increasing inefficiency compelled it4 ,it is not the teacher who makes a practice of working late into the night1 with never a moment for play1 who makes the inspiring classroom instructor4 ,some one has given this recipe for a happy life3 ,work1 play1 study1 laugh2 have a job and a hobby4 ,play should be regarded as a legitimate part of the business of life4 ,duty has been only half performed when happy recreation has been left out4 ,the wise student has1 all through a hard term's work1 preserved the balance between work and play1 society and solitude4 ,unless she has been particularly unfortunate she has come to the end of the term only healthily tired4 ,by that ,i mean the kind of weariness from which recuperation is rapid and easy4 ,she has not overdrawn her physical bank account4 ,she has not run in debt to the future4 ,beware of any weariness of which that cannot be said4 ,the daily life of work and play for all of us ought to be so adjusted that each day's strength is sufficient for each day's needs4 ,wherever the conditions of work and play and of health are right1 this is true4 ,but school life1 both for teachers and pupils1 involves an unusual amount of wear and tear on the nervous system1 and hence we should be more careful than others1 industrial workers1 for example1 to see that this strain never becomes unduly severe4 ,few teachers or students could stand fifty weeks of school work in a year1 an amount which in many occupations is accepted as a matter of course4 ,that is the reason we have so many vacations4 ,when vacation comes1 then1 let us realize its need1 and its purpose2 namely1 to restore the balance of body and mind by allowing the beneficent restorative processes of ,nature to do their work upon us2 and let us coperate heartily with these forces4 ,some do not do this1 but hinder ,nature instead of helping her4 ,some go home for a three weeks' vacation and spend the entire time in a whirl of social dissipation4 ,ask yourself whether that restores your powers so that you return to your work with mind and body at their best8 ,we rest1 not for the sake of resting1 but that we may work better4 ,vacations are given to restore the balance of life1 not to destroy it4 ,and some students carry all their school worries and responsibilities with them into vacation4 ,they dream of their work by night and think of it by day4 ,they count up all the lessons that must be learned and all the themes that must be written1 as if there would not be a day in which to do each day's work4 ,take no thought worry for the things of the morrow1 for the morrow will take thought for the things of itself4 ,and yet1 when the long summer vacation comes1 ,i wonder if even a young student is justified in using it all for play4 ,we older people1 if we are doing a work in the world which we consider worth while1 take an entire summer for play but rarely4 ,the reason is that life is too short for all one wants to learn or to accomplish1 and so each long vacation must see the fulfillment of some of the tasks which we have set for ourselves4 ,for the student there is a middle ground between working at school tasks all summer and idling during the entire time4 ,remember that a change of occupation is one form of rest4 ,if a portion of each bountiful summer vacation were spent in learning something quite worth while1 yet different from the ordinary school tasks1 work and play would each profit from the other4 ,have you sometimes been disturbed because you did not feel just like beginning hard work at the close of a vacation8 ,do not let that trouble you4 ,i have learned to distrust a vacation at the close of which ,i find myself wearing the harness too easily4 ,we get the most out of a vacation by making it as different as possible from our regular work4 ,the more different it has been1 the more difficult it is to get the mind back into the usual channels4 ,when the process of getting up steam is over1 and we settle down to steady work after a good vacation1 the sensation is one of the most delightful ,i know4 ,here is an opportunity to begin life all over again1 and by retrieving the mistakes of the past1 to make the future worthier4 ,as the weeks stretch out ahead of us1 they loom up big with opportunity and privilege4 ,start home for your next vacation1 then1 with a resolution in your heart that you will so spend it that when it is over1 this new outlook upon life and work shall be yours2 for the chief purpose of a vacation is to restore the rhythm of life4 ,,vi ,,the ,,uses ,,of ,,trouble ,then1 welcome each rebuff ,that turns earth's smoothness rough1 ,each sting that bids not sit nor stand but go6 ,you read these familiar words of ,browning1 but you do not believe them4 ,there must be trouble in the world1 you say4 ,there must be rebuffs and stings and hardness1 and they must be endured2 but as to finding good in such things--why pretend it8 ,but why talk to young people about trouble8 ,it is well that the mind should be filled with happiness and hope1 yet to ignore the other and darker side of life does not abolish it4 ,the question of the place of adversity in life is one that has occupied thinking minds ever since the world began2 and since no one can hope to escape the common lot it is well to get ready for trouble before it comes4 ,young people are really no less interested than their elders in serious subjects4 ,they care for the deeper things of life and they long to understand them4 ,one must be very young1 indeed1 not to have had some hard experience of one's own1 some disappointment or struggle or sorrow4 ,sometimes these are troubles that are apparent to all1 and our hearts go out in sympathy and in a yearning desire to comfort4 ,sometimes they are kept close shut from others4 ,the heart knoweth its own bitterness4 ,if you have never been called to go through deep waters yourself1 perhaps you have had to stand by and suffer in sympathy while some one you loved has done so4 ,moreover1 youth has its own disappointments1 its own griefs and sorrows to bear1 often unguessed by those who are older4 ,did you believe that the world was all goodness1 and have you suffered the shock that comes to every sensitive soul upon discovering that it is a very bad as well as a very good world8 ,how can ,god be in his heaven and all right with the world1 when there is so much sorrow and suffering and sin8 ,it takes a long time to think these problems out1 and their solution in full comes only with the years that bring the philosophic mind4 ,for some it never comes4 ,have you lost faith in some one whom you trusted1 and are you therefore having a struggle lest you lose all faith in human nature8 ,or do you distrust yourself and your own powers8 ,while longing with passionate earnestness to be of use to the world1 are you standing on the threshold of life all uncertain what place there may be for you or whether there may be any8 ,to all these perplexities often are added religious doubts4 ,one does not know what one may believe and wonders if one may believe anything4 ,many young people1 in their process of adjustment to real life1 pass through an experience no less serious than the going down into the ,everlasting ,no1 described by ,carlyle4 ,many of the interests and the beliefs of childhood are outgrown1 while those of mature manhood or womanhood have not yet taken their place and the soul seems adrift4 ,we who are older seldom appreciate either the seriousness or the sacredness of such experiences in the young4 ,one reason why these are often so tragic is that youth lacks the perspective for judging them4 ,there are as yet no long memories4 ,one believes that what is now will always be4 ,there is no remembrance of the conquest of past difficulties by which to judge the present4 ,so much to show that life is not all sunshine even when we are twenty6 ,but these experiences1 tragic as they seem at the time1 will1 if nobly lived through1 bring their own compensation in truer self-knowledge and greater depth and earnestness of character4 ,we learn from them1 too1 the necessity for readjustment4 ,we learn to adapt ourselves to the real world in which we find ourselves instead of to the unreal world of our dreams4 ,i slept and dreamed that life was beauty2 ,i woke and found that life was duty4 ,this process of readjustment involves the reconciling of the two1 the discovery that the life of duty to which we wake is at the same time the life of beauty of which we dreamed4 ,in this process of readjustment1 the first thing to learn is that it is not necessary that we should have everything we want4 ,indeed1 it is not necessary that we should be happy4 ,as soon as we recognize that fact we are on the way to happiness4 ,how many spoiled children of indulgent parents there are who do not learn this except through some unhappy experience6 ,how many such have ,i watched with interest and sympathy when the idea first dawned upon their minds that1 perhaps1 after all1 life was not going to bring them everything they demanded6 ,their pitifully narrow and selfish ideas must be uprooted and broad and generous ideas must take their place before even a beginning will have been made toward a fruitful life4 ,in a world where none of us can have just what we want1 where no life is ever carried out exactly as planned1 and where any day may rob us of what we have cherished most1 it behooves us to form early in life the habit of making the most of whatever comes our way4 ,of nothing is this more true than of those things we do not welcome1 that seem hard and forbidding4 ,usually they are not what they seem1 but are friends in disguise1 as ,browning tells us4 ,there are many kinds of trouble1 and1 of course1 some kinds are harder to bear than others4 ,hardships and rebuffs might rank as the easiest4 ,loss of money or material possessions is not as serious as at first it seems4 ,grief is much more difficult to bear4 ,yet of whatever kind or degree the adversities of life1 it is probable that each1 as ,shakespeare puts it1 wears a precious jewel in its head4 ,there are several ways of meeting trouble4 ,one wrong way is to regard it in a spirit of rebellion1 and by constant brooding over what might have been1 to allow it to embitter and spoil life4 ,we have all known people who went through life meeting trouble in this way4 ,another and a better way to meet trouble is with stoical resignation4 ,this does undoubtedly bring strength1 but it does not bring sweetness4 ,one has not really gained the victory unless he goes further4 ,there is something better than to quarrel with trouble and there is something better than merely to endure it1 and that is to compel it1 before we are through with it1 to do us good1 even as ,jacob wrested a blessing from the angel4 ,it is natural to think that our troubles only restrict and limit2 but we may find even in the most overwhelming disaster that which enriches life4 ,that is the reason it so often happens that one who has known the depths of sorrow is a tower of strength upon whom others may lean1 or a well of comfort and inspiration from which they may draw4 ,nothing has yet been discovered so good for the development of character as struggle4 ,deep human sympathy and the power to enter into the sorrows of others are born of suffering4 ,have you not known some wealthy family whose riches suddenly took wings1 to the enormous gain of every one of its members8 ,sons1 whose lives of luxurious ease were rapidly hurrying them along the road to ruin are now forced to become self-supporting and thus acquire those manly virtues which before had been wanting4 ,daughters1 obliged to shoulder some of the responsibilities of life and plan for others instead of for their own selfish pleasure1 are made strong and womanly4 ,to be stricken by an incurable disease would seem to be the worst misfortune that could befall any human being4 ,yet1 if so1 why is it that invalids are so often the sunniest1 most serene1 most stimulating persons we know8 ,i have chanced to be acquainted with several such in my life to whom ,i would go if in need of a word of encouragement or inspiration4 ,all the disappointment in the failure of life's plans1 all the suffering and pain have been transmuted into character4 ,if1 after all1 the chief purpose of life is the making of character1 we need not be so concerned over the means4 ,it is for us to take the material provided1 and with the means given to accomplish a worthy result4 ,life is the raw material1 says ,goethe1 and man the artist who is to shape it into a thing of beauty4 ,i know a lady who lost in quick succession all her children4 ,she might have become hard and bitter1 crying out against the injustice that took her children while other happy mothers are surrounded by their little ones4 ,instead she became an angel of mercy to all the needy children within her reach4 ,by her efficient work for pure-milk laws1 better sanitary conditions1 vacation playgrounds1 and free kindergartens1 she doubtless prevented many other mothers from having to mourn as she mourned4 ,she is gentler1 kindlier1 more loving1 more unselfish than before her great sorrow came to her1 and her life is probably of much more value to the world than it would have been otherwise4 ,she transmuted her sorrow into unselfish service4 ,when ,he hath tried me ,i shall come forth as gold4 ,why trouble comes to us and why it comes in the forms it does1 he must be a very wise person who presumes to say4 ,one of the world-poets of old wrote a great poem upon the problem of suffering4 ,yet ,job did not find out why ,god sent trouble to him1 though he learned that it was not sent as a punishment4 ,he also learned what his attitude should be toward it and in what spirit he should bear it4 ,and for us1 too1 it is far more important that we should meet trouble in the right way than that we should know why it comes4 ,are you carrying some burden or bearing some cross that often seems too heavy8 ,and do you sometimes feel rebellious about it and contrast your lot with that of some one who has no such cross to bear8 ,that is unworthy of your best self1 as you well know4 ,it is for you to see to it that this trouble1 whatever it may be1 not only does not spoil your character and your life1 but that it enriches both4 ,it is1 perhaps1 the best means you will ever have to acquire certain qualities which you need and which1 perhaps1 you greatly admire in others4 ,by this trial you are being tested4 ,by the way you endure it will all your future life be determined4 ,it is your part to become1 not in spite of this burden1 but because of it1 a larger person than you were before4 ,an insight into some of the immutable laws of life helps us to endure hard things4 ,no law is probably more steadfast than the law of compensation1 as ,emerson clearly shows us in his remarkable essay on that subject1 an essay which should be read by every young person who is trying to formulate a philosophy of life4 ,for everything you miss you gain something else1 and for everything you gain you lose something4 ,when you are obliged to give up some cherished project or dear ambition1 try to discover what you received in its place4 ,perhaps you long to be a musician1 an artist1 or a scholar1 and perhaps certain duties and obligations life has created for you prevent the fulfillment of this cherished dream4 ,then find your self-realization in those things which are permitted you4 ,what we need is not so much to realize the ideal as to idealize the real4 ,nothing so rapidly develops character in a young person as the shouldering of responsibility4 ,while one of your friends may have been perfecting herself in music or art1 or broadening herself by foreign travel1 you have been carrying heavy burdens for others4 ,has it1 therefore1 been all loss to you and all gain to her8 ,far from it4 ,instead1 she has gained one thing1 you another4 ,most of us do not receive more than our share in life4 ,you will be surprised if you look about you to discover how true this is4 ,apply the test to your friends and acquaintances one by one1 and you will see that the advantages of each are more or less counterbalanced by the disadvantages1 so that things are by no means so unjustly arranged as it would at first seem4 ,another thought that may help us to adjust ourselves to the hard things in our lives is that it takes some losses1 some disappointments and sorrows to make us appreciate the good things that we have4 ,youth is wasteful1 not realizing its riches4 ,it always remains true that what we do not realize does not exist1 for us4 ,a part of the law of compensation is that the more we lose1 the more highly we prize what is left4 ,that1 perhaps1 is the greatest compensation for growing older4 ,though the relentless years have taken away much to which we clung with tenacity1 yet1 somehow1 we have come to place so high a valuation upon what remains that we often grow happier in spite of persistent and increasing losses4 ,in the old story of the ,sibylline ,books1 there is a thought of very wide application4 ,how little do we know which paths lead to happiness and success6 ,we are sure1 however1 that we do know and rebel at the least deviation from the road we had marked out4 ,yet again and again a ,power wiser than ourselves changes the direction of the path1 and compels us to travel a different and unwelcome way4 ,afterward1 looking back1 we often realize that the best things life has brought us have come along that road of the defeat of cherished plans4 ,these words of ,emerson should be taken to heart by every young person who is having a severe struggle or who is passing through fiery trials3-- ,we cannot part with our friends4 ,we cannot let our angels go4 ,we do not know that they only go out1 that archangels may come in4 ,a fever1 a mutilation1 a cruel disappointment1 a loss of wealth1 a loss of friends1 seems at the moment unpaid loss1 and unpayable4 ,but the sure years reveal the deep remedial force that underlies all facts4 ,the death of a dear friend1 wife1 brother1 lover1 which seemed nothing but privation1 somewhat later assumes the aspect of a guide or genius2 for it commonly operates revolutions in our way of life1 terminates an epoch of infancy or of youth which was waiting to be closed1 breaks up a wonted occupation1 or a household1 or style of living1 and allows the formation of new ones more friendly to the growth of character4 ,it permits or constrains the formation of new acquaintances1 and the reception of new influences that prove of the first importance to the next years2 and the man or woman who would have remained a sunny garden-flower1 with no room for its roots and too much sunshine for its head1 by the falling of the walls and the neglect of the gardener is made the banyan of the forest1 yielding shade and fruit to wide neighborhoods of men4 ,,vii ,,school ,,spirit ,among the forces which shape young men and women in our educational institutions1 none is more potent than that indefinable1 intangible1 powerful thing we call school spirit1 or college spirit1 as the case may be4 ,students are often mistaken in the expression of it1 but the spirit is right1 though the expression may be wrong4 ,school spirit always represents an unselfish attitude of the student4 ,he has heard the call of something larger than himself4 ,though school spirit may be only a sentiment1 it is that which gives its deepest richness to the life of a good school4 ,it belongs to an epoch in the life of the student that can never be repeated and never forgotten4 ,it is the source1 not only of much of the truest happiness of the precious school days1 but of stimulus to high endeavor4 ,while there are many day schools that have a fine and strong school spirit1 it reaches its height only in those schools and colleges where the students live a common corporate life1 away from their homes and other influences which tend to separate them instead of unite them4 ,such communities foster the closeness and intimacy necessary to that complete solidarity essential for strong school spirit4 ,many things operate to draw the members of a student body together4 ,the games and sports1 the fun and frolic1 are shared by all4 ,the work1 if not the same1 is done under the same conditions4 ,all inherit the common school traditions and the same ideals of life are put before all4 ,these things tend to eliminate distinctions and to make for democracy4 ,in short1 they foster school spirit4 ,the life of a corporate group is something different from the lives of the individuals who compose it4 ,the members of such a group act and react upon one another4 ,their impulses and emotions1 their words and even their deeds take different tone and shape when in the midst of numbers of others similarly circumstanced4 ,there is a latent fire in the soul which is fanned to flame by the contact of life with life4 ,this infection of nature by nature operates for evil as well as for good4 ,its harmful influence is seen at its worst in what is called mob spirit or mob rule4 ,the mob may be guilty of deeds which not a single individual in it would countenance if left to himself4 ,by the mere fact of your coming together1 then1 surrounded by the same influences1 under the spell of the same traditions and ideals1 you create an element of life which did not exist before and which reacts powerfully upon every one of you4 ,this is of the greatest importance in the growth of character1 especially in these formative years4 ,if you are ever to come to complete self-realization1 you must breathe the atmosphere of pure and wholesome social influences4 ,you should ask yourself1 then1 concerning the joint social life which you are living from day to day1 what you are gathering from it and what you are contributing to it4 ,as ,i stood once in the chapel of ,eton ,college1 ,england1 ,i noticed upon the walls certain scrolls and tablets containing hundreds of names in letters of gold4 ,these were the names of graduates of ,eton who had in after years brought distinction to their college4 ,i noticed the same family names1 recurring over and over again1 and ,i was told that these same names are still upon the school rolls4 ,i could not help asking myself1 ,how can any young man who enters ,eton1 bearing one of these honored names1 be anything but his best self8 ,his family1 his school1 his country expect it4 ,perhaps that is one reason he so often is his best and that the same families generation after generation have so large a share of good and great men4 ,and ,i thought1 too1 what a stimulus there must be in the very atmosphere of that splendid1 five-hundred-year-old school1 to spur these young men on to their highest endeavor6 ,they were honored in being members of ,eton and they in turn must honor ,eton4 ,in this country we have no schools as old as ,eton2 yet all good schools have their fine traditions4 ,the true-hearted service of noble lives has gone into the making of them4 ,of all such schools it may be said that among their sons or daughters are those who have loved their ,alma ,mater so well that being a credit to her they have counted among their chief aims in life4 ,only the student who is moved by such motives as these has the true school spirit4 ,such a student longs that his school shall be stamped with the stamp of true worthiness4 ,i suppose the most evident1 certainly the most picturesque1 exhibition of school spirit is to be seen in connection with athletics1 and it reaches its climax in an inter-school game4 ,the authorities of some schools say frankly that they permit such games1 with their interruption of serious work and other disadvantages1 chiefly because they tend to develop school spirit and school loyalty4 ,athletic contests are good1 for they give training in self-subordination1 self-control1 alertness1 and dogged perseverance4 ,the individual loses himself in the good of the whole4 ,this makes for character and good citizenship4 ,we must not underestimate the value of the enthusiasm which comes from rallying against a common antagonist4 ,when the rivalry is good-natured and every rule of fair play is observed1 the effect is wholesome4 ,yet it is not always the student who cheers most loudly for the team and who is most carried away by school spirit on public occasions who is at heart most loyal to the school4 ,there is a greater loyalty even than that generous spirit which prompts one to rejoice in victory4 ,it is the desire that one's school shall stand only for that which is right4 ,it is the determination that it shall be respected1 and still more1 that it shall be worthy of respect4 ,now1 the first and most obvious thing about any school is that it is an educational institution1 and as such it must stand or fall4 ,if a school is an educational failure1 what avails its success in some subordinate thing8 ,no one can take pride in an easy-going school to which any one can gain admission1 and in which any one can remain1 regardless of attainment4 ,students are not likely to think of this aspect of the case when they neglect their studies4 ,they think the matter wholly personal and believe that only they are the sufferers4 ,it is not so4 ,by slack1 indifferent work you are lowering the standard of your school1 and you are thus disloyal4 ,by your act you say that you do not care to have your school respected4 ,this shows a lack of a sense of indebtedness on your part to the corporate group of which you are a member4 ,it means a failure to apply school spirit where it was most needed4 ,it is easier to sing and cheer on some moving occasion1 but which does your school need more at your hands8 ,what ,i have said about upholding the intellectual standards of the school applies equally to its standards in other matters4 ,by your dress1 by your manners1 by your behavior you indicate1 wherever you go1 the character of your school4 ,you are its product4 ,the world does not stop to ask what is going on inside of a school or what its influences are4 ,the world judges a school by its results4 ,if you want your school to be respected you cannot be too careful to represent it worthily at all times and in all places4 ,you come to school to get knowledge1 but it would be a pity if that were all you were to get4 ,a young man and a young woman1 each of whom had been out of college several years1 were discussing the advantages of a college education4 ,one said to the other1 ,looking back over your college days1 what do you now regard as the most valuable thing you got out of college8 ,inspiration1 promptly came the answer2 and both were agreed upon this4 ,school days deal with an earlier period of life than the college age1 when the student is usually more susceptible to strong influences4 ,the school that first gave you the determination to do something worth while in the world1 the school that called forth your best self and set your heart on fire with a noble purpose1 has a claim upon you that you can never forget4 ,every school that has this transforming power is what it is by virtue of the personalities that have been connected with it4 ,ask yourself what you are doing to make your school in the future as inspiring a place for others as others have made it for you4 ,ask yourself what you can contribute to the enrichment of the life of your school4 ,be not over-anxious about what you shall receive4 ,students rarely realize how much they leave behind them when they depart from a school4 ,something of you remains1 mysteriously interwoven in the life of the school4 ,i am a part of all that ,i have met1 says ,tennyson's ,ulysses4 ,just as you embody in yourself the influences that hundreds of other lives have exerted upon you1 so others are bearing and will always bear the marks of your influence4 ,to be a worthy member of a good school is a great privilege1 furnishing as it does a stimulus to high endeavor which rarely comes in any other way4 ,it is a distinct honor to sustain and enhance a worthy name4 ,if you have the right school spirit1 you can do nothing less than throw all the power of your influence into the task of making your school a place where future students may learn how to meet and be true to the responsibilities and obligations of life4 ,the atmosphere which makes easy this kind of growth is created only by living personalities1 by the touch of life upon life4 ,,viii ,,making ,,the ,,best ,,of ,,things ,i have noticed that many people who seem to the casual observer to be favorites of fortune1 having no large and serious troubles to worry about1 so magnify their small ones that life loses much of its joy4 ,most men and women who rebel at their lot in life fancy that their discontent lies in the deprivation of some definite thing4 ,had it not been for this or that unfavorable condition1 their lives would have been happy and successful4 ,one possesses too small a share of this world's goods and continually allows his thoughts to dwell upon what he might have had or might have done if he had been blessed with wealth4 ,he forgets to appreciate and to be grateful for health1 family1 friends1 and a host of other blessings4 ,he has the lurking feeling that wealth is the one thing which would have made his life happy1 in spite of the fact that he knows that it has not brought happiness to many who possess it4 ,so he settles down to a discontented1 second-rate life4 ,with another1 it is a lack of robust health that causes discontent4 ,such a person forgets that much of the best work of the world has been accomplished by men of frail health1 as1 for instance1 ,darwin and ,herbert ,spencer4 ,another finds a source of unhappiness in his environment in life1 or in a lack of particular advantages and opportunities4 ,he is sure that he might have become an artist or a musician or a scholar had not ,fate been so unkind as to deprive him of opportunity4 ,yet we have but to point to scores of persons who have won the highest success in these fields in spite of seemingly insurmountable obstacles4 ,some women are unhappy because they cannot obtain the position in society for which they believe themselves fitted2 others crave luxury and ease denied them4 ,many women long to exchange their idleness for a work in life4 ,as to work1 it sometimes seems as if half the workers of the world are envying the other half their particular field of labor4 ,each sees the advantages of the other's task1 but not its disadvantages4 ,the laboring man envies the business or professional man the supposed ease of his work and its larger returns4 ,the business or professional man often looks with envy upon the day laborer1 because of his freedom from care and the simplicity of his life4 ,and so each looks over the edge of his work1 discontented1 to that of his neighbor4 ,how seldom are we willing to admit that the cause of our discontent lies within ourselves6 ,it is true that there is a discontent which is right4 ,it is discontent with what we are and it is born of aspiration4 ,one who feels this divine discontent well knows that his life has not been as fruitful as it should have been1 and he is determined that the future shall redeem1 as far as possible1 the inadequacy of the past4 ,he says with ,whittier3-- ,i better know than all ,how little ,i have gained1 ,how vast the unattained6 ,if ever we find ourselves satisfied with our attainments it simply means that we have a very low standard of success4 ,some one has said1 ,one should never believe that he has succeeded1 but always that he is going to succeed4 ,to be discontented with what we have1 that is1 with our possessions and our circumstances1 is a very different matter4 ,either we can change them or we cannot4 ,if we can and do not1 we have only ourselves to blame4 ,but what shall be said regarding those unfavorable outward circumstances of your life to which you must submit8 ,simply this3 ,if you cannot have what you like1 learn to like what you have4 ,resolve that no unfavorable conditions shall be powerful enough to defeat you and spoil your life4 ,master your circumstances instead of letting them master you4 ,to master circumstances does not necessarily mean to change them4 ,sometimes it means merely to change our attitude toward them1 so that they may become a source of strength instead of weakness4 ,there is always much that a wise and energetic person can do to change the conditions of his life1 yet there will be left in every life certain things that cannot be altered4 ,the real test of our character is our attitude toward these things4 ,there is nothing more certain than that if you are going to accomplish anything in life you must use the vantage-ground you have1 not the better vantage-ground of another1 which is not yours4 ,do not explain what you would have done if you had had this one's or that one's opportunity4 ,you will be tested by the use you make of the opportunities that have been given to you4 ,it is sometimes pointed out that too many college girls1 returning to their homes after graduation1 lead restless1 discontented lives4 ,the college is often blamed for this1 but most unjustly4 ,the difficulty may be with the girl herself1 but ,i believe it is just as often with her family and friends1 who expect impossible things of her4 ,too often an active1 ambitious girl is forced to settle down into a life of comparative uselessness4 ,the inspiration of her college years is still strong upon her4 ,all the powers of heart1 mind1 and soul have been awakened4 ,she has gained a wide outlook1 and the needs of this very needy world have been brought home to her sympathetic heart4 ,she feels within her the power to do something which will count in making the world a better place4 ,to be a mere household ornament does not seem to her adequate4 ,too frequently there is the strongest objection to her taking up any definite work4 ,she is expected to be happy in comparative idleness and without the stimulus that always comes from feeling that one's life is counting for something4 ,some of the discontent of the educated young woman who has not yet found her place in life may be traced to these causes4 ,yet sometimes her discontent has its root in herself1 and is due to a lack of adaptation4 ,many a young woman who leaves school or college with dreams of an inspiring and useful work in the world finds herself obliged to remain at home because of family necessity4 ,she may even have to live in a place apparently devoid of interest1 amid surroundings that seem commonplace1 with no stimulating or congenial companionship4 ,sometime you may find yourself in exactly that position4 ,what will you do about it8 ,will you adopt a course that will not only make those about you miserable1 but will dwarf and narrow your own life8 ,or can you be brave and strong enough to follow the path that will enlarge and beautify your life as well as bring good to others8 ,if you are in doubt what to do1 ask yourself what an ,alice ,freeman ,palmer would have done with those meager surroundings1 those narrow opportunities and uninspiring duties4 ,you know the answer4 ,a great soul like hers would have created its own atmosphere and soon the desert would have blossomed as the rose4 ,she would have seen possibilities in the dreariest situation4 ,she would have found work to do in the smallest and most uninteresting community4 ,wherever there is a community there is work to be done--little children to be guided into right ways1 the sick to be visited1 the discouraged to be cheered4 ,wherever you find a church1 there is an opportunity for service4 ,who ever heard of a church that had workers enough8 ,wherever there is a city1 town1 or village1 there is work to be done in the direction of civic betterment4 ,is your life restricted by certain responsibilities not of your own choosing1 yet from which you cannot honorably escape--nay1 would not escape8 ,do you long for freedom1 for the power to carve out your own destiny in your own way8 ,how swiftly you would move forward if you could tread the path of your own choosing6 ,do not think that you are unusual in this longing4 ,it is difficult to be reconciled to the limitations placed upon us4 ,those of whom you are most envious are probably in their turn envying others who have not their particular limitations4 ,some of them may be envying you4 ,a lesson which we should all learn as early as possible is that the restrictions of our lives often point the way to largeness4 ,whenever we find ourselves indulging in self-pity because of the limitations under which we labor1 it will be well to call to mind some of the many splendid and fruitful lives that have attained to strength and power in spite of restrictions far more severe1 or rather partly because of them3 ,lincoln1 gaining a meager knowledge of books by the light of a pine knot2 ,darwin1 doing his life-work in the face of physical disabilities that would have made useless invalids of most of us2 ,helen ,keller1 denied all the most important avenues of communication with the outside world1 yet achieving results that would put most of us to shame2 ,louisa ,m4 ,alcott1 writing her charming stories in the midst of arduous toil and pathetic privations endured for the sake of her loved ones2 and ,elizabeth ,barrett ,browning1 learning from suffering what she told the world in song4 ,history is full of these examples1 and the future will be just as rich in such lives as the past has been4 ,those who are to be the leaders of the next generation are even now1 many of them1 having a severe struggle with adverse circumstances4 ,just as we should make the best of the things about us and of the circumstances of our lives1 so we should make the best of the people about us4 ,must you live apart from the friends whose society is most congenial to you8 ,again1 if you cannot have about you the people you like1 then like the people you have about you4 ,it is astonishing how much progress can be made when one starts out with resolution in this direction4 ,try it and you will be amazed at discovering likable qualities in those with whom you supposed you had little in common4 ,and just as you are to make the best of other people1 so you should learn to make the best of yourself4 ,by this ,i do not mean make the most of yourself4 ,it goes without saying that one should do that4 ,many a person who is successful in matching himself against outward obstacles feels discouraged when he faces his own nature and recognizes the return of faults which he hoped he had overcome4 ,no struggle is so severe as that which one wages with himself4 ,sometimes we become disheartened at our failure to conquer faults and to overcome wrong tendencies4 ,when it is a question of right and wrong1 there is no course open to us but to continue to wage the battle4 ,no compromise with wrong is possible4 ,yet there are other limitations which should be regarded in a different light4 ,perhaps we have overestimated our capacity and have expected the impossible of ourselves4 ,paris is full of discouraged artists who had looked forward to a noteworthy career that never can be realized4 ,every publisher of books has some comprehension of the enormous number of would-be authors there are of whom the world will never hear4 ,ambition is good1 but disappointed ambition too often embitters life4 ,most of us have some limitations which cannot be removed4 ,certain of these limitations it is well to accept and not beat one's wings forever against the bars4 ,others may surpass you because of greater natural endowments or larger opportunity1 or both1 but this should not move you from the even tenor of your way4 ,no less faulty than the complacent1 self-satisfied life is the life spoiled because of unfulfilled ambitions4 ,we should accept ourselves1 with the limitations that cannot be removed1 and go about it to make1 with the material at hand1 the most successful life possible4 ,the highest of all attainments1 the living of a successful life1 depends not upon outward circumstances1 not upon opportunities1 not upon freedom from annoyances or even from trials and sorrows4 ,in the last analysis it depends upon one's power to make the best and the most of those things which belong to his portion4 ,if one can do that1 life has no terrors for him4 ,no misfortune or disappointment can prevail against him or disturb the serenity of his soul4 ,he can say with ,henley3-- ,it matters not how strait the gate1 ,how charged with punishments the scroll1 ,i am the master of my fate3 ,i am the captain of my soul4 ,,ix ,,conflicting ,,loyalties ,some of the saddest yet most common tragedies enacted in life about us have their source in the conflict between duty to self and duty to others4 ,is it because of our innate selfishness that so many sermons need to be preached to us about our duty to others8 ,perhaps it is thought that duty to self is so natural that we do not need a great deal of urging or warning in that direction4 ,at any rate1 we hear much less about our duty to ourselves than about our duty to others4 ,it is therefore not strange that some generous and over-conscientious souls should come to feel that when a conflict arises between these two kinds of duties1 self should always sink out of sight4 ,this1 however1 is not a reasonable view4 ,while the words1 ,he who saveth his life shall lose it1 are among the greatest ever uttered1 yet we must remember that ,he who spake them gave us also the ,parable of the ,talents1 and was wroth with the man who took his one talent and hid it in the earth4 ,many an earnest seeker after right is led to protest against a view of duty so one-sided4 ,when one is urged to surrender self1 to lose self1 to care naught what becomes of self1 one is led to cry1 ,but am ,i of no worth8 ,has ,god not given me certain responsibilities with regard to my own life1 and have ,i not the solemn duty of rendering back the talent given me1 increased as many-fold as possible8 ,the answer to these questions is unmistakable4 ,my responsibility for myself is one that no other can assume4 ,st4 ,paul states clearly one of the best reasons why we have no right to ignore self4 ,for every man must bear his own burden4 ,if we cannot bear our own burdens1 others must bear them for us4 ,but it is expected that we shall do more than carry our own load2 for in the same chapter we are commanded1 ,bear ye one another's burdens4 ,the inconsistency is only apparent1 not real4 ,that self is not something to be effaced and trodden under whenever possible seems to be proved by the testimony of language4 ,let us examine a few of the derivatives of the word self4 ,while some of these words suggest self-effacement1 others speak in no uncertain tones of the dignity and worth of self4 ,self-centered is a term of reproach1 but self-reliance is a duty4 ,self-seeking is base1 but self-possession is commendable4 ,self-complacency and self-esteem we despise1 but self-control and self-confidence are admired4 ,who can respect any one who is lacking in self-respect8 ,self-sacrifice is a word that brings a glow or a thrill to the heart perhaps beyond any other2 yet self-preservation is sometimes one's highest duty4 ,evidently1 then1 it is your duty to efface yourself and to assert yourself2 to humble yourself and to respect yourself2 to sacrifice yourself and to preserve yourself4 ,at any rate1 it seems clear that self is of importance and that we cannot be complete persons without somehow regarding self4 ,for centuries philosophers have puzzled or disputed over the definition of selfishness4 ,where shall we draw the line between obligation to self and obligation to others8 ,jeremy ,bentham1 the ,english philosopher1 went so far as to say1 ,dream not that man will lift his little finger except for his own advantage4 ,if he means that every one always seeks his own personal advantage1 as he seems to1 he is absurdly wrong4 ,for proof of it you need look no further than the first mother you meet who is spending herself lavishly for her child4 ,if he means that each one really does what he most wants to do1 he is right4 ,i once knew a girl who had a delightful habit of spending most of her allowance on others rather than on herself4 ,no good cause that needed help ever appealed to her in vain4 ,she was continually seeking out individual needs which she could remedy4 ,when praise was bestowed upon one of her unselfish acts1 a schoolmate remarked1 ,oh1 that isn't unselfishness4 ,she really likes to use her money that way4 ,yes1 she does1 but it is unselfishness none the less4 ,her strongest inclinations lead her in a direction not easily understood by those who have had little practice in unselfish acts4 ,but to call her conduct selfish is like calling white black1 or light darkness4 ,the conflict between duty to self and duty to others is at times only apparent2 again1 it is painfully real4 ,to determine what is an apparent conflict and what a real is one of the difficult problems we have to solve4 ,it is surprising how little help others1 as a rule1 can give us in its solution2 in fact1 this is one of the situations in life where we must stand alone--must make our own decisions and bear the responsibility for them4 ,to try to follow the judgment of others often results only in bewilderment4 ,should a young man or woman accept an education to be paid for by money toilsomely earned by self-sacrificing parents8 ,we cannot tell until we know all the circumstances4 ,what would be base selfishness in one case becomes in another a sacred duty4 ,should the daughter whose presence gives cheer leave the home for a larger sphere of usefulness8 ,should the widowed mother wear herself out and fill an early grave in order that her children may have the advantages which will make them intelligent and useful men and women8 ,should the physician sacrifice his life in order that the devastating scourge may give up its secret and other lives be saved8 ,to what extent is it your duty to imperil your health or your life for the needs of others8 ,there is not one of us who does not sometimes meet with such questions as these4 ,as to minor questions involving the same principles1 we encounter them every day4 ,just here ,i wish to point out certain frequent fallacies regarding our duties and obligations4 ,the first is1 that if you greatly desire to do or to have a thing1 it would therefore be selfish for you to do it or to have it4 ,the ascetics of the ,middle ,ages acted on this assumption4 ,they practiced self-denial for the sake of self-denial1 without any larger aim4 ,the ascetic sacrifices himself for nothing4 ,i have known people who seemed to direct their lives in accordance with the same theory4 7,they were always women67 ,i once had a friend who did so4 ,as soon as she found that she had quite set her heart upon anything1 she promptly gave it up4 ,if there was something she did not want to do1 she was sure to do it1 for it must be her duty4 ,i need not point out the unintelligence of this procedure4 ,to live with her was almost necessarily to grow selfish4 ,did you ever think of the bad result upon a family of having one unwisely unselfish member8 ,such a person unconsciously develops selfishness in the others4 ,excessive unselfishness defeats itself4 ,it does not even benefit those for whom the sacrifice is made1 but injures them instead4 ,thus foolish mothers spoil their children1 wives ruin their husbands1 sisters destroy the character of their brothers1 and brothers even have been known to pet and humor their sisters into egregious selfishness4 ,it is evident1 then1 that duties to self and duties to others are inextricably interwoven4 ,the thing which you want may be best for you1 and may serve the interests of others as well as yourself4 ,securing an education1 for example1 may double or treble your usefulness1 not only to the world in general1 but to those individuals who made the sacrifice in order that you might have it4 ,self-sacrifice is noble1 but if it is to be worthy self-sacrifice1 the end must be worthy4 ,nothing could be finer1 for example1 than to risk one's life for another human being in danger1 but we have only contempt for the man who imperils his life for no worthy end4 ,that end must always be a larger self1 and we shall respect the person in proportion to the worth of the larger self4 ,the family is a larger self1 so is one's school1 church1 city4 ,the soldier in obeying the call of his country is serving a still larger self1 and this call rarely falls on deaf ears4 ,when the interests of the individual come into conflict with the interests of the larger unit1 the individual's interests must give way4 ,sometime all good and intelligent people will realize what only the few see now1 that there is a larger self even than country1 and that is1 humanity4 ,when that time comes1 nation can no more be arrayed against nation in the terrors of war4 ,there should be no conflict between loyalty to country and loyalty to humanity1 and the tragedy of war is that there is such a conflict4 ,there are many kinds of sacrifice besides the sacrifice of life4 ,the sacrifice of material things is of no great moment1 for they are not a part of ourselves4 ,the greatest sacrifice we can make1 next to that of life itself1 is the sacrifice of our own growth4 ,deliberately to remain small1 for the sake of duty1 when we might have been large1 requires all the heroism of which most of us are capable4 ,such a sacrifice has been made times without number by parents for their children and by sons or daughters for the sake of parents dependent upon them4 ,it has been made by martyrs for their religion1 by patriots for their country4 ,it has been made by teachers for their pupils and by doctors and nurses for their patients4 ,if we sacrifice our own larger growth and highest self-realization1--and it is sometimes necessary1--let us see to it that the end we aim to accomplish justifies the damage to ourselves4 ,it is to be feared that such a sacrifice is often made without due consideration of relative values4 ,the young man or woman who gives up an education for the sake of rendering service to others should make sure that the end aimed at is one of superlative worth4 ,the mother whom ,i knew1 who refused to allow her daughter to carry out her cherished plan of going to college1 simply because she did not want to give up her daughter's companionship for four years1 was an example of pitiable and short-sighted selfishness4 ,the sacrifice she demanded was not justified because it was for no worthy end4 ,often a great sacrifice of self now will mean that one will have little to give by and by1 when the need may perhaps be larger4 ,the self you have to give now is small4 ,why not make it larger before any complete self-surrender8 ,we cannot give unless we have something to give4 ,if you would be a great giver1 says one of our philosophers1 you must first be a great person4 ,you dream of enriching the world with your life4 ,then make it a rich life4 ,a second fallacy often held is that obligations for which one is not likely to be called to account until the distant future are less binding than those which make their claim felt now4 ,none of us acknowledge that we so regard duty2 but if we do not1 it is difficult to account for some of our actions4 ,for the sake of fashion or of vanity modes of dress are often followed which are bound to result in impairment of health4 ,wrong habits of eating injure the digestion1 late hours drain the vitality4 ,thus we buy present gratification at the cost of our future welfare4 ,to no other class of persons is it as important to say this as to girls4 ,many a girl acts as if she believed that she would have no use for any health or strength after she was thirty years old1 and so were willing to squander all she had in a few months or years4 ,she should remember that she will need at least as much each year of her threescore and ten as she does this year4 ,there will be people in the future to whom she will owe obligation1 just as there are now1 some of whom are yet unborn4 ,when we are inclined to overwork1 the same arguments should apply4 ,why spend one's self in a single effort8 ,why not take account of the work that must be done in future years8 ,i have known short-sighted young people who spent their entire capital of health in getting an education1 only to live thenceforth lives of impaired usefulness4 ,one of the questions which the most conscientious of us must constantly ask ourselves is to what extent we should share whatever material possessions we may have with those less fortunate than ourselves4 ,the needy are all about us and the claims of suffering humanity are insistent4 ,the call must not fall on deaf ears4 ,for some this call has seemed so imperative as to make them surrender all they had for the sake of alleviating distress or of making life more worth while for a few of their fellow beings4 ,too many go to the other extreme and admit no obligation to their fellow men4 ,here are some questions in social ethics for you to ask yourself3 ,have ,i a right to live in a fine house1 to have expensive clothing1 and to spend money on travel and other pleasures when there are so many people in the world suffering for the necessities of life8 ,to my mind the answer is1 ,i have a right to spend money on myself only so far as it will make me a person of greater value to the world4 ,if ,i should give away everything ,i have to those whose need is greater than mine1 and live in a hovel1 only a few out of the vast number of the needy would be benefited and ,i should be unfitted to accomplish the work in life which ,i am in duty bound to accomplish4 ,what shall we say1 however1 of those who all through life are consumers and not producers1 who add nothing to the world1 but continually take from it8 ,what further shall we say1 if1 in addition to being a non-producer1 one is wasteful of that which has been produced by others1 using it for self-indulgence and selfish pleasure8 ,i have a friend who was once criticized for her simple and inexpensive clothing4 ,her reply was1 ,how can ,i spend much money for clothes when there are so many young people in the world suffering for an education8 ,it seems to me1 then1 that loyalty to self demands that we should regard self as nearly as possible in an impersonal way4 ,we must not ask for more than our share1 yet we should take our portion just as we should expect another to do1 not for our own pleasure or selfish ambition1 but in order that we may be able to render the largest possible service to our day and generation4 ,by these questions test every benefit you seek for yourself and especially every luxury that tempts you3 ,have ,i a right to this benefit or this luxury8 ,that is1 can ,i take it and at the same time be just to others8 ,if the answer is in the affirmative1 a further question should be asked3 ,will it help me to become a more valuable person8 ,if the answer is in the negative1 then1 even though you have a right to it1 your larger privilege is to surrender that right4 ,x ,,the ,,value ,,of ,,discipline ,one of the most frequent and least satisfactory answers given to students in reply to the question why a certain subject must be studied1 or a given course of conduct pursued1 is1 ,it is good discipline4 ,that statement is probably true1 but it is sometimes difficult for the questioner to understand4 ,he asks1 ,what is discipline8 ,and why has it the virtue claimed for it8 ,by discipline ,i suppose we mean the subordination of the self to something outside of the self1 or1 at least1 the subordination of the self to law1 even though that law be self-made4 ,the psychologist could explain to you that the law of habit is the controlling factor in all discipline4 ,the thing that has been done many times is finally done with ease1 is perhaps done automatically4 ,ease1 as some one has said1 is the lovely result of forgotten toil4 ,the laws that apply in learning to play the piano or to ride a bicycle are not different from those involved in the training of the intellect or the will4 ,it is not necessary to point out the very evident truth1 that no school could command the respect of its students for a single day if it had no discipline4 ,whether the regulations are made by the students themselves or by a higher power1 there must not only be subordination of the whims and caprices of each student to his own higher interests1 but there must be subordination of the will of each individual to the common good4 ,no school community could furnish the proper conditions for growth whose members did exactly as they pleased unless each pleased to consider the rights of others as sacred as his own4 ,whether from alien compulsion or from some inner law1 each must make his contribution to the welfare of the whole4 ,the result is system and order that enables each to go his way1 free to put forth his best effort4 ,each member of the community must give up a portion of his own freedom for the common good1 that common good being for him a much larger freedom4 ,students sometimes think too much about the freedom they surrender and not enough about the benefits that surrender secures4 ,perhaps you have sometimes for the moment grown a little restive under discipline--who of us has not8--and have longed for the time when you could do just as you please4 ,there are1 doubtless1 times when even the most faithful student longs to play truant4 ,yet holding one's self to definite and stated tasks is the surest road to the largest freedom4 ,as there is no royal road to learning1 so1 also1 there is none to mental insight and acumen4 ,you must think1 compare1 reason1 remember4 ,you must learn accuracy and precision4 ,when the facts more or less laboriously acquired in school and college have been for the most part forgotten1 the mind1 if it has been really disciplined1 still retains the power of grappling with new problems and solving them4 ,this power is worth all it costs4 ,the value it adds to life can hardly be overestimated4 ,it gives an independence and a mastery over things that can be gained in no other way4 ,it is the means of providing resources that make life vastly more worth living4 ,it increases one's usefulness to the world many-fold4 ,such mental training may be had1 too1 by most of us if we are willing to pay the price4 ,the majority of people1 however1 are not willing to do that1 and therefore those who are generally find themselves in positions of leadership4 ,the training of the will is just as important as the training of the intellect2 nay1 more important1 since thought is powerless until put into action4 ,essential as it is that the average citizen should be a trained thinker1 even more so is it that he be a person of right action4 ,yet the two kinds of training need not be set over against each other as if one needed to choose between them4 ,they should go hand in hand4 ,it is difficult to say which is the source of greater danger in a community1 the weak and nerveless will1 or the strong but perverse will4 ,our prisons1 penitentiaries1 and reform schools are recruited for the most part from the ranks of the weak of mind and will4 ,in every community the many are easily led by the few4 ,this is true in social life and perhaps doubly true in political life1 as we in ,america know to our cost4 ,that the perverse will may easily grow into the wicked will1 bent only on selfish and base ends1 there is constant proof in the world about us4 ,such men as those designated by a former ,president as malefactors of great wealth belong to this class4 ,tyrants and despots are made of men of strong but unregulated will4 ,to this class belong the overbearing and autocratic everywhere1 who always insist upon having their own way regardless of the rights or the feelings of others4 ,without fully realizing it1 many a family has among its members one whose will rules the household1 not because it is the wisest will1 but because it is the most determined4 ,man is made great or little by his will1 said ,schiller4 ,the disciplined will has gained the power of attention and of industry1 has learned method1 accuracy1 and dispatch in doing work4 ,it has acquired patience and perseverance and knows how to resist1 to persist1 to attack and to conquer obstacles4 ,my imagination would never have served me as it has1 said ,charles ,dickens1 but for the habit of commonplace1 humble1 patient1 daily1 toiling1 drudging attention4 ,genius1 said ,george ,eliot1 is a vast capacity for receiving discipline4 ,if even the great writers admit1 as many of them do1 that their work is the result of long and patient self-discipline1 surely in the more ordinary walks of life that kind of training may not be despised4 ,to have a work that we love is one of the supreme things to be desired in life4 ,it must be admitted1 however1 that the majority of the world's workers find little pleasure in their task4 ,yet the next best thing to doing one's work with enjoyment is to do it--even without enjoyment4 ,this takes strength of will1 more strength of will1 indeed1 than many possess4 ,this is one of the reasons 7though not the only one7 why there are always and everywhere so many persons out of employment4 ,the number of such persons who have to be taken care of by the charity of the ,state1 simply because they cannot or will not hold themselves to labor of any kind1 is appalling4 ,but even the most favored of us1 congenial though our work may be1 have duties to perform every day that are not especially pleasurable4 ,a few years ago ,dr4 ,eliot1 then ,president of ,harvard ,college1 addressed a body of laboring men on ,the ,joy of ,labor4 ,he tried to show them that they should not expect pleasure in every detail of their work1 but rather in seeing its larger relationships1 and in working toward a certain definite goal4 ,he said that among the men of his acquaintance1 those whose work seemed to him most enviable had much to do in the course of each day that could by no means be called pleasurable and that had to be done by sheer effort of will4 ,the men whom he was addressing1 he remarked1 probably regarded his own work as wholly delightful2 yet that was by no means the case1 as the larger part of each day's work was drudgery1 and his joy in doing it came only through realizing its importance in the scheme of the whole4 ,it is the disciplined will which enables us to do the disagreeable or the uninteresting thing uncomplainingly4 ,the scientist at work in his laboratory1 the lawyer preparing his brief1 the business man toiling by day and often by night in his office1 give most of their time to uninteresting details4 ,yet the difference between success and failure usually lies in one's ability or lack of ability to hold himself to uninspiring details4 ,does the mother who has the care of a family need a disciplined will8 ,who1 indeed1 needs it more8 ,in whose life is there more of petty detail and unending drudgery8 ,where is there greater need of the wide outlook and the large vision8 ,in this case it is the vision of a perfect home which glorifies the petty details and the drudgery4 ,who sweeps a room as for thy laws ,makes that and the action fine4 ,the person of disciplined will has learned to respect the rights of others4 ,english people often comment on the lack of discipline in a certain type of ,american home1 with its self-asserting children who ignore the rights of their elders4 ,these children1 grown up into young men and women1 trample on the rights and on the feelings of others4 ,the spoiled girl who goes away from home to live the community life in school or college can quickly be distinguished from her more fortunate fellow students who have behind them years of the firm and kindly discipline of a wise home4 ,she is obliged to adjust herself to the new conditions1 where her rights are of no more importance than those of any one else4 ,she must put herself under prompt and severe discipline if she is to win for herself any place in the school or college world4 ,if she fails to do this1 she must pay the penalty4 ,until she can be an acceptable member of the community1 she can have but small share in its life4 ,one of the best reasons why every girl should receive a part of her schooling away from home is because of the wholesome discipline sure to be administered by her fellow students4 ,the athletic field is one of the best places in the world for discipline4 ,self-subordination to the good of the whole forms the basis of success in every game4 ,good team-work admits of no bumptiousness on the part of any player4 ,no good1 clean game is ever played without its lessons in self-restraint and self-control4 ,a trained and disciplined will you will find to be your most valuable resource1 enabling you to do the thing that ought to be done and to do it when it ought to be done1 whether you like it or not4 ,is not this power the greatest asset possessed by those who have achieved true success in every age8 ,in these days1 when learning is so often sugar-coated and made attractive by every possible device1 it is well to emphasize this point4 ,it seems to be the aim of some teachers--indeed1 of some schools of education--to administer the greatest amount of knowledge with the least amount of effort on the part of the pupil4 ,every device and every method which deprives a pupil of doing his own thinking is harmful4 ,the more genuine effort put forth the better4 ,we all know that the quick pupil who learns without effort is often surpassed later in life by the plodding1 hard-working pupil4 ,one reason is that the latter was forced to acquire while young those habits of industry and perseverance which are the price of success4 ,a wise sprinkling of electives is a great improvement upon the iron-clad course of study of a generation ago4 ,i certainly would not be understood as saying that it is better to study without enjoyment than with enjoyment1 for ,i strongly believe the opposite4 ,there is a tendency among students1 however1 in selecting a course of study to follow the lines of least resistance4 ,i would almost advise a student to go to the other extreme4 ,remembering my own student days and the feeling of joy and mastery that came from conquering some particularly difficult subject in an inflexible course of study1 ,i should give every student the opportunity occasionally to measure himself against a subject that is especially hard for him4 ,it strengthens the sinews of the mind4 ,it breeds confidence and power4 ,can you not remember some occasion when you mastered some especially difficult problem or subject1 and can you not still feel the exhilaration that came with that mastery8 ,you became suddenly conscious of new power1 you could feel yourself grow4 ,then how can you believe that you are being educated if your work is not of such a nature as to call forth your highest powers8 ,in regard to the tendency of students in schools and colleges to choose snap courses1 ,dean ,briggs says1 ,for any responsible work we want men of character--not men who from childhood up have been personally conducted and have had their education warped to the indolence of their minds4 ,the attitude of mind which is satisfied merely with a passing grade is most unscholarly and betrays low ideals4 ,one who is so satisfied has missed the conception of what education really is4 ,in life1 as most of us quickly find out1 one of the most important things we have to do is to overcome obstacles4 ,they beset every path and either they must yield or we must4 ,life is not intended to be easy for any of us4 ,sometimes we meet persons who give us the impression of being able to conquer any situation or any combination of circumstances in which they may be placed4 ,whatever they undertake1 we know they will carry it through in spite of obstacles4 ,such people inspire confidence wherever they go4 ,we instinctively feel that they may safely be entrusted with large things4 ,julia ,ward ,howe used to say that she never dared to remark to her husband1 ,dr4 ,howe1 that anything was impossible1 for he would go straight off and do it6 ,i wonder if it was not the discipline in the soldier's life which made the early apostles speak so often of the ,christian life in terms of warfare4 ,certainly there is nothing else in war that could have appealed to them4 ,the soldier is the embodiment of discipline4 ,he who would command others must first learn to obey4 ,it is through obedience1 discipline1 that we come to authority4 ,the first claim to a position of leadership in the world is complete mastery of one's self4 ,,xi ,,the ,,successful ,,life ,we may not all agree upon a definition of success1 but we shall all agree that whatever it is1 we want it2 that1 indeed1 we want it more than anything else in the world4 ,how to secure it is what all the colleges and schools are trying to teach and what all the ministers in all the churches are preaching4 ,if you knew you would sometime have to look back1 realizing that you had made a failure of life1 you would hardly care to go on living4 ,many do have this experience4 ,such a person seems like a disabled vessel being towed into port with broken mast and damaged rigging4 ,yet that person was once young and hopeful1 with life all before him1 and he looked forward to something so different6 ,sometimes we fail to realize that the very purpose of our school days is to get us ready for the voyage2 that we are day by day being taught the use of chart and compass2 that we are being shown where the danger lies and where the safe paths are to be found4 ,if you want to know how you can secure for your own life and character those qualities which you most covet1 study the lives of those who have these qualities and try to compel them to yield you their secret4 ,as ,i think1 one after another1 of the most successful lives of which ,i have read in history1 ,i find that there are certain characteristics that all seem to have possessed in common4 ,take a dozen or a score of really successful lives chosen at random and make them a subject of earnest study and comparison4 ,in outward circumstances and conditions of life you will find these lives widely at variance4 ,one person has been a child of fortune and another has had the severest struggle with poverty4 ,one bears an honored name with generations of culture1 character1 and achievement behind it2 another is of obscure origin1 with little help from family or early environment4 ,the ends accomplished in life have been as different as the means of accomplishing them2 yet in all worthy lives there are certain clearly defined and common characteristics4 ,in the first place1 ,i think that all the successful people whom ,i have known or known of have had a definite purpose in life4 ,i see them keeping right on1 striving for a certain goal1 regardless of enticements by the way4 ,the able mariner knows to what port he is bound4 ,he does not keep changing his course1 he does not become disheartened and drift with every chance wind4 ,unswervingly he steers toward the goal he has in view4 ,many of the failures in life are caused by purposelessness4 ,none of these persons whom ,i have classed among the successful seem to have been seeking pleasure4 ,they have been possessed by great ideas1 they have been occupied with large thoughts1 they have been devoted to the good of others1 to the advancement of mankind4 ,can you imagine a ,lincoln or a ,phillips ,brooks wrapped up in his own petty concerns1 even for a day8 ,the self-centered life is a failure4 ,he that is greatest among you1 let him be the servant of all4 ,all really successful lives have been moulded on that principle4 ,such men and women have not cared especially about being great or famous1 but how they have longed to serve6 ,there are thousands of unhappy persons who might find happiness and the beginning of success if they would only stop asking whether they are happy and would go and do something for somebody4 ,all really successful people have faith4 ,they have faith in themselves1 faith in their fellow men1 and faith in ,god4 ,it is difficult to see how any life can be strong without such faith4 ,we must have faith in ourselves because we are likely never to accomplish more than we believe we can accomplish4 ,it is not always modesty on our part to shrink from an undertaking because of our unworthiness2 sometimes it is weakness4 ,self-trust is the essence of heroism1 said ,carlyle4 ,this does not mean that there is no such thing as over-confidence in self4 ,we have all known people who over-estimated their own powers4 ,the conceited person is rightly considered a nuisance and a subject of ridicule4 ,the person who is always attempting some great project which ends in a fiasco is deserving of the condemnation which he receives4 ,yet most failures are caused by too little confidence in self rather than too much4 ,our consciousness of weakness ought to be accompanied by a belief in our power to overcome that weakness4 ,the self-distrust which hinders growth becomes a moral wrong4 ,those who accomplish large things usually have a splendid self-confidence which is as far removed as possible from self-conceit4 ,it is said of ,mary ,lyon1 by one of her biographers1 that she had the rare power of distinguishing between the impossible and the merely difficult4 ,that is a power we should all cultivate4 ,one thing that should be impressed upon young people1 who have not yet had sufficient experience to make the discovery for themselves1 is that we have a right to judge ourselves by the best of which we are capable1 not by the worst4 ,there is an ebb and flow of the tides of the spirit4 ,we have our moods of depression and of exaltation4 ,one of sensitive conscience is quite likely to believe that his worst self is his real self4 ,that is not true4 ,this conflict among the many selves that each of us feels crowding for utterance within him is well expressed by one of our minor poets3-- ,within my earthly temple there's a crowd2 ,there's one of us that's humble1 one that's proud4 ,there's one that loves his neighbor as himself ,and one that cares for naught but fame and pelf4 ,there's one that's broken-hearted for his sins ,and one that unrepentant sits and grins4 ,from much corroding care ,i should be free ,if once ,i could determine which is me4 ,in seeking to determine which of this motley crowd is really you1 one thing should be clear1 your real self is what you are in your highest moments4 ,do not accept as yourself the one who cares for fame and pelf1 but the one who loves his neighbor as himself2 not the unrepentant one1 but the one who is broken-hearted for his sins4 ,life really is what it looks to us to be when we are on the heights1 not when we are in the valley4 ,when belief in our own possibilities is greatest1 that is the time when our vision is truest2 for the first step in realizing those possibilities is to believe in them4 ,the vision of our best selves1 of our highest possibilities1 which we had on the heights1 must be carried down into the valleys1 there to furnish us inspiration and impetus4 ,but tasks in hours of insight willed ,can be through hours of gloom fulfilled4 ,if you would be really successful you must have faith in your fellow men4 ,no doubtful or suspicious person was ever a benefactor of his race4 ,the person who can help you most is the one who has most faith in you4 ,so if you would help others1 you must have faith in them4 ,the power to see the best in a person in spite of his faults is a precious power4 ,if you have it not1 cultivate it4 ,never look for a mean motive in another4 ,always recognize the germ of goodness1 small though it be1 and always help it to grow4 ,nothing inspires us like the knowledge that some one expects good things of us4 ,by believing in people we make them believe in themselves4 ,there is no greater service we can render our fellow men than to increase their faith in themselves and in their own powers4 ,to be a faith-inspirer is a privilege we should all earnestly covet4 ,we all know people from whose presence we come away feeling that all things are possible4 ,they encourage us1 they stimulate us1 they compel us to believe in ourselves4 ,this rare and precious power belongs only to those whose lives are fed from deep spiritual sources4 ,to be a faith-inspirer one's own attitude toward life must be right2 one must be in tune with one's self4 ,the very atmosphere about such a person is charged with hope and cheer4 ,no pessimist1 no cynic1 no misanthrope was ever a faith-inspirer4 ,the possession of this quality depends not upon what we do1 but upon what we are4 ,some people1 as they grow older and meet with more or less selfishness and deceit1 as we all do1 grow cynical4 ,they conclude that there is no such thing as honor or constancy or disinterested kindness4 ,cling with undying faith to your belief in the goodness of human nature4 ,has some one deceived you8 ,in spite of that1 be just as ready to trust again4 ,better trust all and be deceived1 ,and weep that trust and that deceiving4 ,than doubt one heart that1 if believed1 ,had blessed one's life with true believing4 ,it would be difficult to find any one who has had real success in life and yet does not believe in ,god4 ,how can ,i keep my own life serene and hopeful if ,i believe that the world is ruled only by blind chance1 that there is no meaning or purpose in life1 that wrong may eventually triumph over right8 ,but belief in a wise and beneficent ,ruler of the universe should be the greatest element of strength in my own life2 it should give me assurance that the forces of the universe are in league with righteousness and that good will finally triumph over evil4 ,what a comfort it is to believe1 when the forces of evil seem to be in the ascendant1 that it is only for a moment6 ,perhaps you are troubled because justice does not always seem to be done in the world4 ,you know that the wicked often prosper and the righteous suffer1 and perhaps you are troubled to understand why4 ,doubtless this is not easy to comprehend fully1 but far better than comprehension is the acceptance of it in the right spirit and as a part of the divine plan4 ,we all need a working theory of life1 a philosophy of life1 if you will1 or we cannot live strong lives4 ,one who has faith in that ,power not ourselves that makes for righteousness can be optimistic and serene1 and can believe that things everywhere are gradually working themselves out for good4 ,no matter what happens1 such persons never believe that the world is going to destruction4 ,even the most cruel and needless war since time began cannot shake their faith that the world is gradually getting better and that it will continue to grow better4 ,when they stand for the right1 it is in the confidence that they are fighting on ,god's side and that in the end ,he is always victorious4 ,i believe there is such a thing as a habit of success4 ,some people have the habit1 and you can hardly imagine them anywhere in this world or any other where they would not be winning successes4 ,why8 ,because of two things1 high purpose and an indomitable will4 ,given both1 what can defeat us8 ,the day is his who works in it with serenity and great aims4 ,failure will come sometimes1 to be sure1 as it comes to all4 ,but what of that8 ,the indomitable spirit will still urge us on4 ,browning held that we fall to rise1 are baffled to fight better4 ,so holds every brave1 strong soul4 ,this is what ,i call the habit of success4 ,that attitude toward life1 which in a failure or a defeat finds only a lesson for the next time1 is sure to win4 ,my definition of success1 you will see1 does not take large account of wealth or position or fame1 or of many other things some people foolishly think spell success4 ,one who has mastered the fine art of living has had real success1 whether or not the world ever hears of him4 ,do not think that the success of one's life is to be measured by the amount of pleasure in it4 ,some are fortunate all the days of their lives1 with good health1 sufficient means1 and kind friends4 ,others have trouble after trouble heaped upon them1 poverty1 ill-health1 and grief4 ,we are likely1 if we are not discerning1 to think that one has failed of success when he has only been roughly buffeted by fate4 ,we have to know the soul to know whether or not one has been a success4 ,we have to know what ,god thinks of him4 ,what are the school days for unless they are to teach you values1 to show you which things are of most worth8 ,the same qualities which bring success in after life are needed in one's preparation for life4 ,opportunities lie all about1 unnoticed and neglected by some1 by others seized and employed to their full4 ,side by side sit two students1 one dull and listless or dissipating the energies of the mind in a thousand ways2 the other earnest1 alert to seize every opportunity for self-improvement4 ,later in life the two move on1 one failing in everything he undertakes because of these same habits of indifference and indolence2 the other applying his concentrated powers to the task in hand and winning victory4 ,success in life is not greatly a matter of opportunity1 it is rather a matter of character4 ,still o'er the earth hastes ,opportunity1 ,seeking the hardy soul that seeks for her4 ,,xii ,,the ,,progress ,,of ,,woman ,of all the wonders which the history of civilization presents to us1 especially during the past century1 by far the most remarkable is the progress of woman4 ,just as we teach the story of political and religious freedom to the rising generation1 in order that the blessings of civil and religious liberty may be more fully prized and guarded1 so all girls and women should be taught something of the long1 arduous struggle which women have had in order to reach the position which they now occupy in the most enlightened parts of the earth4 ,though a painful struggle1 its history is instructive and stimulating4 ,if we know what public opinion has been in the past regarding woman's place in the world1 we can more truly decide whether or not present-day tendencies are to persist4 ,it is so easy for the unthinking to assume that the world is as it was intended to be and that the customs and conventionalities of society are divinely ordained4 ,this is one of the reasons why we should be careful students of history4 ,no one who has the wide point of view which such study gives can fail to recognize the fact that ours is by no means a completed world1 but that evolution is as surely in progress now as ever it was1 and that human society is still in the making4 ,each generation is in duty bound to know the accumulated wisdom of past ages and to add something to it for future generations4 ,there are many phases of the so-called woman-question1 the enfranchisement of woman being only one of them1 though the one we are hearing most about to-day4 ,all the questions which have arisen1 and all which are likely to arise in the future1 may be summed up in one or two all-important questions3 ,is there any freedom1 privilege1 or opportunity accounted good for men that should be denied to women8 ,if so1 to whom belongs the right to deny it8 ,within the last few years many conventional ideas regarding woman's sphere have been swept away and still others are disappearing4 ,while the discussion is going on1 sometimes with heat and bitterness1 but sometimes calmly and sanely1 a generation of girls is growing up1 each one of whom is vitally concerned4 ,in what sort of a world are these girls soon to take their places8 ,to what extent are the duties and responsibilities of woman to be different from what they have been8 ,the girl of to-day1 who is to be the woman of to-morrow1 should come into this new world open-eyed and intelligent4 ,only a few hundred years ago philosophers were seriously debating the question whether or not women have souls4 ,with the passing of the centuries an attitude of mind so extraordinary was no longer possible1 but other ideas1 which are not much less amazing in the light of to-day1 long persisted4 ,the literature of any age reflects current public opinion1 and if we would know how women were regarded and what qualities were thought most desirable in them1 all we need do is read the literature of that period4 ,euripides reflects ,greek sentiment when he makes ,iphigenia say to ,achilles1 ,better a thousand women should perish than one man cease to see the light4 ,the ,latin motto1 ,bene vixit qui bene latuit 7,she has lived well who has kept well concealed71 speaks eloquently of woman's place in the days of the ,roman ,empire4 ,in the metrical romances of the medival period1 women seem to live only to grace a tournament or to furnish opportunity for a feat of chivalry on the part of some knight-errant4 ,in ,chaucer's time such stories as that of ,patient ,griselda force us to the conclusion that she was the most highly esteemed woman who patiently endured the grossest injustice and the most cruel wrong4 ,the weak and sentimental women of ,fielding1 ,richardson1 and other eighteenth-century novelists call forth our pity when we realize the purposeless lives they were expected to lead4 ,we must not overlook the fact1 however1 that in every age there have been marked exceptions to the general rule4 ,from the time of ,deborah1 or long before1 each age has had its new women1 its nonconformists1 who insisted upon doing their own thinking4 ,most of ,shakespeare's heroines are of this type4 ,from time immemorial laws have rested heavily upon women4 ,this is true of the ,roman law1 so just and fair in most respects4 ,woman was not a citizen with the rights and privileges of a citizen2 she was in a state of perpetual tutelage4 ,we do not1 however1 have to go back to ,roman times to find unjust discrimination against women4 ,in this country ,connecticut was the first ,state to give women the power to make a will1 which it did only one hundred years ago4 ,it is not long since a law was enacted in ,massachusetts giving women a legal right to their own clothing4 ,it took a terrible tragedy only a few years ago1 the killing of a number of innocent children by their half-crazed mother lest they fall into the hands of their unworthy father1 to cause the ,massachusetts ,legislature to abolish the law which made the father the sole guardian of his children4 ,in those parts of the world where the ,christian religion is little known1 the progress of women has been even slower and beset with more obstacles than in ,christendom4 ,indeed1 the women of those countries must look to ,christian lands for their salvation4 ,buddhism1 the principal religion of ,japan1 teaches that woman's only hope of heaven is that she may be reincarnated as a man4 ,confucius1 the founder of the religion that prevails in ,china1 taught that ten daughters do not equal the value of one son4 ,the woman of ,brahminic faith is forbidden to read the scriptures or to offer prayer in her own right4 ,we all know something of the horror of the suttee in ,india1 which1 until prohibited by ,english law1 permitted a widow to be sacrificed on her husband's funeral pyre4 ,the ,moslem man prays1 ,o ,god1 ,i thank thee that thou hast not made me a woman1 and the ,koran teaches that strict obedience to her husband is the only condition upon which a woman can be saved4 ,the fact that so few women have attained a supreme place in any art or profession is often brought forward to prove the natural inferiority of women4 ,when we recall how few men attain the first rank in spite of the honors and rewards showered by an approving world upon such a man1 and when we remember that until recently it was considered hardly respectable for a woman to write a book1 to paint a picture1 or even to publish music1 the surprising thing is that so many women have defied public opinion and have given expression to the genius that was in them4 ,george ,eliot wrote under the name of a man in order to get a hearing4 ,the rich poetic gifts of ,dorothy ,wordsworth largely increased the fame of her illustrious brother4 ,no one knows how many of ,felix ,mendelssohn's beautiful ,songs without ,words were the work of his sister ,fanny1 as we are told by his recent biographers4 ,caroline ,herschel was another gifted sister whose labors helped bring honor and fame to her brother1 the great astronomer4 ,if any of these women had lived in the twentieth century1 the world would have paid them high honor for the work of their gifted minds4 ,the last half of the nineteenth century brought educational opportunity to women and the inevitable result followed3 they began to reason and hence to ask their share of things1 and it looks as if they would not stop until they get it4 ,what are they asking8 ,that all artificial barriers to their freedom be removed1 nothing more4 ,so far as nature has created barriers for them and placed limitations upon them1 these barriers and limitations should be respected1 must be respected4 ,with these1 reasonable women have no quarrel4 ,it is the artificially made barriers they are determined to remove4 ,the ,chinese woman is realizing that she has burdens sufficiently heavy to bear without adding that of an artificial deformity4 ,life will not be any too easy for the feminine half of the race even when they have obtained every right and every opportunity to which they have a claim4 ,one of the things which women asked in vain for many years was the privilege of higher educational opportunity4 ,one hundred years ago there was not a single college in our country which opened its doors to women4 ,all the arguments which are put forward against the enfranchisement of women to-day were put forward yesterday against the extension of their educational opportunities4 ,serious-minded and earnest men--and women1 too--argued that women had no use for the higher education2 that they were not capable of receiving it1 and that if some1 by chance1 were equal to it intellectually1 they were not physically4 ,the final and seemingly unanswerable argument was that education would unfit women for the sacred duties of the home4 ,now that our colleges are graduating more than ten thousand young women every year who have not lost their health and who make better wives and mothers because of their wider horizon and broader interests1 no one remembers these foolish fears4 ,another privilege which women have been seeking for many years is the opportunity to work2 that is1 they have been asking that there be no artificial barriers between them and the work they want to do4 ,the world is yielding them this privilege1 though slowly and somewhat grudgingly4 ,we are still told occasionally that woman is out of her place whenever she seeks remunerative employment outside of the home4 ,it makes little difference1 however1 who approves and who disapproves4 ,to put things back to where they were one hundred years ago would be no less difficult than to turn back ,niagara ,river4 ,statistics tell us that there are at present over eight million women in this country engaged in gainful occupations4 ,perhaps you ask1 ,but why do women rush out into the world to find work8 ,why can we not go back to the good old times when all women found shelter and safety within the walls of the home8 ,the answer to this question is a very complex one4 ,more than fifty years ago ,harriet ,martineau wrote of conditions in ,england1 ,a social organization framed for a community of which half stayed at home while the other half went out to work cannot answer the purposes of a society of which a quarter remains at home while three quarters go out to work4 ,with this new condition of affairs1 new duties and new views must be adopted4 ,there is wide disagreement as to the answer to the question why so many women are engaged in gainful employments4 ,you can best work out the problem for yourself by recalling the women and girls of your acquaintance who are earning a livelihood by work outside of the home4 ,ask one of these why she does not give up her present position and go back to the shelter of the home4 ,she will probably tell you that there is in her home no possible means of support for her4 ,the chances are that she will tell you that her labor is one of the sources of income for the maintenance of that home and dependent ones in it4 ,the talk of some people would lead you to think that if women would only behave themselves they might all spend their lives in weaving and spinning1 as their great-grandmothers did4 ,but if they did this there would be no market for their labors2 and who would earn the money necessary for their support8 ,if you knew the facts in regard to the average home of one hundred years ago1 you would find conditions vastly different from what they are now4 ,then1 the great bulk of the population lived on farms1 from which the labor of all drew sustenance for all4 ,for many years the trend of population has been toward the cities1 and the man who once made a comfortable living from the farm1 with the assistance of his family1 now works in a store or a factory or some other industrial concern4 ,the compensation is often not enough for the family necessities1 and the labor of women must be added to that of men4 ,formerly there were few men who did not have several dependent women relatives in addition to wife and daughters4 ,now a self-respecting woman prefers the independence which comes with self-support4 ,moreover1 a great deal of the most interesting work has been forced out of the home4 ,labor-saving inventions have multiplied and every year brings new ones4 ,thus have the forces of water and air and electricity conspired to take away much of the ancient prerogative of woman4 ,your great-grandmother1 in all probability1 made all the clothing for her family1 men included4 ,moreover1 she and her assistants wove the cloth and her hands spun the wool out of which it was made4 ,the linen and the wool must still be woven and made into cloth1 but it must be done outside of the home4 ,one would almost have to be wealthy now in order to wear garments toward which no machine had made any contribution4 ,the ,ruskin weaving industries of ,england are an example of the handwork of the twentieth century1 but the textiles made on those looms are costly4 ,in your great-grandmother's home were manufactured all the lights needed1 the wax or tallow candles4 ,we now demand gas and electricity4 ,then all the food consumed in the home was prepared there4 ,now vast canneries and factories do the work at less cost than it can be done in the home4 ,ready-made clothing can often be bought as cheaply as the materials alone for home manufacture4 ,what ,i wish to show is that the transference of the labor of the home to the factory has robbed many women of useful1 satisfying labor4 ,this has produced widespread unrest among them4 ,the protest against inactivity has caused an increasing army of women to knock upon the door of every opportunity for productive1 satisfying occupation4 ,it is not a wrong instinct in women which urges them1 when not needed in the home1 to find activity outside of it4 ,if you have a craving to do something in the world1 don't be ashamed of it4 ,it may not be best for you to do it1 but the wish to do it does not prove that you are unwomanly1 even if it is something that has oftenest been done by men4 ,i am always glad when ,i find a girl seriously taking up some line of work by means of which she may1 if necessary1 gain a livelihood4 ,is it wise for parents to bring their daughters up without any definite aim1 instilling into their minds the idea that they will always be taken care of and protected8 ,who is protected1 who can be protected1 when fortunes are heaped up to-day only to be swept away to-morrow8 ,in the progress of women1 it is the question of their enfranchisement which is particularly agitating the world to-day1 just as1 yesterday1 it was the question of their education4 ,we have no right not to be interested in the matter4 ,the statement may fearlessly be made that there is not an ,american young woman alive to-day upon whom will not fall1 if she lives to a reasonable age1 the responsibility of the ballot4 ,you may believe in woman suffrage or you may not1 yet1 with your consent or without it1 there will some time be placed in your hands an instrument for the possession of which men struggled and fought for hundreds of years1 and for which many of them died2 and for which women have struggled since long before you were born1 and for which many of them would have been willing to die4 ,the danger is that when woman suffrage shall have become universal1 and we are no longer reminded1 as we now constantly are1 of the cost and the value of the ballot1 we shall cease to prize it1 and shall grow careless of its use1 as many men also have done4 ,that is the way of the world4 ,what one generation purchases at tremendous cost1 the next accepts as a matter of course4 ,a distinguished woman1 who1 though she labored hard to help secure higher educational privileges for women1 was born a little too soon to avail herself of them1 gave an illustration of this4 ,her granddaughter1 just home on her first vacation from college1 said to her1 ,grandmother1 ,i wonder that you did not go to college4 ,it is splendid6 ,how little that girl knew of the long1 uphill struggle that had taken place in order that she might receive a college education6 ,why are women asking for an opportunity to vote8 ,whatever arguments may be adduced in favor of woman suffrage1 we always come back to equality as a first principle1 the primary right of each individual to claim before the law the same right as every other individual4 ,it is not entirely a question of the wise use of suffrage1 it is a question of liberty and equality4 ,as the world has become more enlightened1 liberty has more and more become its governing principle1 and the progress cannot stop until every adult fitted for citizenship in any civilized state shall be enfranchised4 ,here are several reasons why1 it seems to me1 women should have the ballot4 ,first1 in order that they may feed and clothe their families properly and provide healthful homes for them to live in4 ,the preparation of food used to be solely women's business1 but it is not now1 as ,i have said4 ,upon proper inspection of dairies1 bakeries1 canneries1 etc41 every family depends for its well-being4 ,adulteration of food and misbranding need to be guarded against4 ,we all know something of the struggle that has been waged for years by the ,consumers' ,league and other beneficent agencies against the sweat-shop system4 ,poisonous germs may lurk in a garment made under unwholesome conditions4 ,a polluted water-supply or a defective sewage system may bring disease or death into any home4 ,the ballot is not the only weapon which can be employed against these evils that menace the home1 but it is probably the most effective one4 ,another reason why women should vote is for the sake of the moral welfare of their children4 ,it is the voter who has it in his hands to eliminate the saloon and to control the public dance-hall1 the debasing theater or moving-picture show1 and other sources of moral corruption4 ,it is the voter who has the power to establish libraries and art galleries1 playgrounds and parks4 ,women ought to vote for the sake of protecting and helping those who cannot help themselves2 for the sake of abolishing child-labor1 and of securing humane hours and reasonable wages for working-women as well as better protection for young girls against those who would ensnare them4 ,they should vote1 also1 in order that they may have a voice in measures affecting the public welfare1 such as old-age pensions1 mothers' pensions1 industrial insurance1 prison reform1 better care of the sick and the aged1 and all forms of civic betterment4 ,women should vote in order that they may help to abolish unjust discrimination against women4 ,even in this free ,republic many steps will have to be taken before women will have the same rights before the law as men4 ,the enfranchisement of women will hasten that time4 ,it is only a few years since ,senator ,tillman1 of ,south ,carolina1 called to his aid an ancient law of that ,state in order to enable his son1 who had left his wife1 to take their children from her4 ,south ,carolina is not the only ,state in which the law1 in case of a legal separation1 is most unjust to the woman4 ,according to a recent authority1 women have the same rights as men in the guardianship of their children in only sixteen ,states of the ,union4 ,in some ,states the father has even power to deed the children away from their mother4 ,in a number of the ,states of the ,union1 the husband still has legal control of his wife's property and he may claim her wages4 ,every woman should resolve to do all in her power to help to abolish such obviously unjust laws as these4 ,there is one more reason why women should vote1 and that is1 for their own growth and enlargement4 ,only a few hundred years ago woman had practically no liberty4 ,she had little freedom before marriage1 small choice in marriage1 unequal rights as a wife1 no legal right to her children4 ,she could own no property2 educational opportunities were denied her2 and her life from birth to death was determined by others1 not by herself4 ,one has only to read such a story as ,browning's ,the ,ring and the ,book to understand something of the wrongs that millions of women suffered before the days when the world in the process of evolution was brought to a more enlightened idea of the rights of woman4 ,what vast progress she has made6 ,one who knows the story of it can be patient in regard to further progress1 confident that it will come as surely as the planets will continue in their orbits4 ,and we must not forget that at every step upward hands of strong and fearless men have been held out to her1 else she could not have reached her present position4 ,that person is doing small service to the world who attempts to set the interests of women over against those of men and to create antagonism between them4 ,let us never forget that their interests are not opposed to each other1 but that in the long run nothing can be detrimental to one which is not also detrimental to the other4 ,the woman's cause is man's2 they rise or sink ,together1 dwarfed or godlike1 bond or free2 ,if she be small1 slight-natured1 miserable1 ,how shall men grow8 ,,xiii ,,sources ,,of ,,happiness ,you do not need to be reminded of the importance of this subject4 ,do we not hear on all sides that happiness is what all the world is seeking8 ,why are men toiling and struggling and warring with each other to heap up wealth except that they believe it will bring happiness8 ,it is probably true that most of the actions of the majority of human beings are directed1 consciously or unconsciously1 toward happiness as an end4 ,we keep pleasure in the background of our minds1 not allowing it to be seen1 yet always hoping for more and more of it1 says one of our modern writers on ethics4 ,yet ,i should be sorry to have you believe that pleasure is the summum bonum of life4 ,all normal1 healthy young people are happy4 ,there may be disappointments and sorrows1 but the power of rebound is great and happiness returns4 ,the ,creator evidently wants us to be happy1 and any other theory of life is an unnatural one4 ,the ascetics of the ,middle ,ages had a mistaken idea of serving ,god1 believing that the more they suffered1 the better they were pleasing ,him4 ,our conception of ,god as a ,god of love forbids that theory4 ,in children and animals happiness is always a sign of well-being1 as it seems to denote absence of ill-adjustment4 ,if a young child appears to be happy1 we feel that all is well with it4 ,the frolicsome play of all young creatures is an expression of the gladness that has been implanted within them4 ,the further removed we are from the spirit of gladness1 the less are we conforming to one of the deepest laws of our being4 ,happiness is good1 not only as a sign that all is well with us1 just as silence in the machine denotes perfect adjustment1 but it is good as productive of something beyond itself4 ,if we are happy1 we work better4 ,happiness has an exhilarating effect4 ,if we are happy1 we add to the joy of all about us and thus increase the gladness of the world4 ,happiness is not only the sign of absence of friction1 it removes friction4 ,it is not only an indication of health1 but a cause of health4 ,one who enjoys his dinner will digest it better than one who eats from duty4 ,if happiness is1 then1 so important1 we may reasonably ask what we can do to secure it4 ,we may rightly say that we want all the happiness we can have consistent with other aims4 ,a wrong attitude regarding it is that we must purchase it at any cost1 no matter how much we have to ride over the rights of others to secure it4 ,this is the attitude of many young people who have been brought up in affluence and who have formed the fatal habit of thinking that life must bring them whatever they want4 ,one longs to say to such young people that happiness does not depend upon what we have1 but upon what we are4 ,the person who is discontented in a hovel would be discontented in a palace1 for even there he would have to live with himself4 ,mrs4 ,wiggs could not have been happier in a mansion than she was in her cabbage-patch1 because her happiness was independent of external things4 ,she made it herself by her attitude toward the world1 toward her work1 toward her troubles and her blessings4 ,those1 however1 who are of an unhappy1 discontented nature always attribute their lack of happiness to some definite thing or things which their more fortunate friends have and the possession of which they think would bring complete happiness4 ,in the expressive words of ,george ,eliot1 ,dissatisfaction seeks a definite object and finds it in the privation of an untried good4 ,happiness is never won by direct pursuit4 ,just when she seems so close that we are sure we can reach out the hand and grasp her1 she is gone1 and again we must start in hot pursuit4 ,many have spent their lives in this way1 a bootless chase4 ,it is only when we give up this mad pursuit and attend to our business in life that ,happiness comes and makes her home with us4 ,pleasure to be got must be forgot4 ,but you are happy1 so why talk to you about securing something which you already possess1 indeed1 have never been without8 ,because there are many kinds of happiness1 some far more satisfying and more permanent than others4 ,it is for us to see to it that ours is of a kind that will stand every test4 ,at your stage of life you possess most of the blessings which the world has always regarded as most desirable4 ,if you wish to count them you may begin with youth4 ,to be young means that almost all of life is before you and that no irrevocable mistakes have as yet been made4 ,there are many with misspent lives behind them1 who would barter everything they possess for youth and the opportunity to begin all over again4 ,you possess health4 ,what would not the aged and feeble1 the crippled1 the diseased1 give for your vigorous body6 ,like most of our truest riches1 however1 health is something we take as a matter of course and do not know the value of until it has departed from us4 ,you have human love4 ,whoever you are there are those whose world is made brighter because of your presence in it4 ,youth1 health1 love are yours1 so why should you not be happy8 ,but ,i have already said that you are happy4 ,and yet ,i did not quite mean it4 ,i should probably do you no injustice if ,i should say that you are not as happy as this splendid trio of blessings would seem to warrant4 ,the reason is that real happiness does not come as a gift4 ,it is achieved happiness that is of most worth4 ,you have often been told1 no doubt1 that the school days are the happiest days of life4 ,some men and women of maturer years are very fond of preaching this doctrine to young people4 ,but it is a wrong and pernicious theory of life1 and those who advocate it condemn themselves by their own words1 for they show that they have lacked the power to make life richer and deeper as it went on4 ,i never will believe1 says ,george ,eliot1 that our youngest days are our happiest4 ,what a miserable augury for the progress of the race and the destination of the individual if the more matured and enlightened state is the less happy one6 ,getting to the end of school days is not1 then1 like walking off a precipice4 ,there is much beyond and it is good4 ,to be sure1 there will be no more days just like the school days1 with their freedom from care1 their glorious comradeship1 and their stimulus to high endeavor4 ,in future years they doubtless will wear a halo possessed by no others1 but this will not mean that they were really the happiest4 ,in fact1 if the first twenty years of one's life have truly prepared one to live1 life should constantly grow richer as it moves onward4 ,we should grow happier as we grow older because of two things1 increasing power of service1 and a growing capacity for enjoyment4 ,dr4 ,eliot1 ex-,president of ,harvard ,university1 once defined education as increasing the capacity for serviceableness and for enjoyment4 ,in this sense education does not stop with the school days4 ,each year should reveal new springs of power and should develop within us new resources4 ,women ought to be even more careful than men to develop such powers and resources1 for a man's active life in the world is much more likely to compel growth in him4 ,how many women there are who1 after reaching middle life1 when their children are grown up and gone out of the home1 find it impossible to secure happy employment for the mind6 ,they might have developed resources and powers which would have given them an ever-increasing interest in life4 ,we often hear people wish for childhood or youth again4 ,when any one expresses such a wish1 he generally means that he would like to be a child or youth again if he could take back with him all the wisdom and all the powers and capacities that the years have brought him in exchange for his vanished youth4 ,but to be a child again1 just such a child as he was1 and to grow up all over again1 making the same unhappy blunders and suffering from the same hard knocks in the process of adjustment to an inexorable universe--who would wish it8 ,as a matter of fact1 if we are really wise1 we shall never wish that we might repeat any period of life4 ,always1 just beyond and beckoning to us1 is the next period1 and we should always believe with ,browning that the best is yet to be4 ,no period of life has or can have a monopoly of happiness4 ,what1 then1 is this mysterious thing called happiness1 which apparently cannot be taken away from some1 yet which others vainly pursue for a lifetime8 ,i have already said that it is something that has to be learned or to be won4 ,it is clear that having everything in the world to make one happy does not always bring happiness1 and the reason is that there is no real well-being without consciousness of well-being4 ,if one were heir to vast riches1 yet lived and died without knowing of his wealth1 it would have been just the same as to have had no wealth4 ,to have youth1 health1 love1 and opportunity1 and not to know that one is blest by and through these great gifts1 is1 perhaps1 not greatly different from having none of them4 ,so we see the importance of being fully awake to the blessings we have4 ,you think1 for example1 that you enjoy and appreciate your home1 but if you should learn to-morrow that you had lost it1 you would probably discover that you had not received nearly as much happiness from it as you should have4 ,perhaps you would even recall with remorse that you had sometimes envied the fairer home of some friend1 and had allowed yourself to grow quite unhappy over the matter4 ,if those you love best were suddenly to be taken from you1 would you then discover how small had been your real appreciation of them8 ,with a deeper appreciation would be found a gratitude constantly translating itself in terms of kindness1 patience1 and unselfishness4 ,ask yourself1 then1 whether you are sure you have derived the happiness that should have been yours from the blessings nearest you4 ,have we not learned in part the secret of happiness8 ,consciousness of our blessings1 deep gratitude for them1 is one of the chief sources of happiness4 ,and do we not see why we grow happier as we grow older8 ,our losses may be great1--are almost sure to be great1--but how we learn to appreciate what we have left6 ,how trivialities sink into their place and the great things of life loom large6 ,once the day was overcast because of some fancied slight or neglect1 or the weather had upset some cherished plan1 or--but why go on with the list8 ,since then greater troubles have come and a new sense of proportion has been born within us2 a consciousness of our great wealth is ever with us4 ,this is one of the secure foundations of happiness4 ,do not wait for ,experience to teach you these things1 for she keeps a dear school4 ,learn from the experience of others4 ,there is plenty of justifiable sadness in the world1 there is plenty of real trouble4 ,those of us who are not experiencing it owe it to those who are to be cheerful1 serene1 and strong1 that they may lean on us and that we may help carry some of their heavy burdens4 ,since it is entirely possible for life to grow happier as it goes on1 and since many people find it exactly the reverse1 what more can be said by way of pointing out the right path8 ,and when should one seek this path8 ,may one wait until the years of unhappiness come8 ,one may not wait4 ,the path may be choked with weeds unless one's feet find it now4 ,as you look forward into the years you have yet to live1 what saner question can you ask than how you can find that inward happiness which has for many proved a bulwark against all the buffetings of fate8 ,it would be hard to over-emphasize the part work plays in making one happy4 ,idle people are generally unhappy4 ,look forward1 then1 to being busy1 as long as you live4 ,find something to do1 somewhere1 and throw your whole self into your work4 ,it need not be work that is paid for with money1 but something to occupy your time and thoughts you must have4 ,you need to feel that by your endeavors you are adding to the world's welfare4 ,look forward to getting a large share of your happiness in service and you will not be disappointed4 ,work is a panacea for most of the ills of life4 ,when a great sorrow comes1 how shall one endure it unless one has work to do8 ,another deep source of happiness is the carrying of responsibility4 ,it is good to develop early in life the habit of solicitude for others4 ,fortunate are we if there are those who are in some way dependent upon us2 it is good for us to deny ourselves for their sake4 ,happy is the girl who has younger brothers and sisters needing her affectionate and watchful care4 ,love must play a large part in every life4 ,in solitude we become narrow1 we can never discover ourselves4 ,we need friends and the stimulus of contact with our fellow men4 ,we must give and receive affection4 ,the trouble with most of us is that we think too much about receiving and not enough about giving4 ,here as everywhere it is more blessed to give than to receive4 ,for true happiness we need constantly increasing knowledge4 ,an ignorant life can hardly be a happy life4 ,we should be on terms of closest friendship with books4 ,every one should have some department or field of learning in which he is steadily making conquests1 and this in addition to the reading of the best literature4 ,it may be music1 or art1 or a science1 or a language1 or some other pursuit to which one turns for recreation and inspiration4 ,in these days good instruction is obtained so easily that intellectual stagnation is inexcusable4 ,indeed1 any one who is really in earnest can make intellectual progress without instruction except that which one gives himself4 ,i knew a busy lawyer who so mastered the subject of botany through self-instruction that he became an able writer and a recognized authority on the subject4 ,many have mastered a foreign language with the assistance only of books4 ,what a mistake it is to think that with the closing of the school and college days one should cease to be a student6 ,we are never too old to begin the serious study of some subject hitherto unknown to us4 ,did not ,julia ,ward ,howe begin the study of ,greek at an age when most people only doze by the fire8 ,i have mentioned as important sources of happiness four things--work1 responsibility1 love1 knowledge4 ,it remains to call attention to three kinds1 or perhaps three degrees1 of happiness4 ,the lowest is merely pleasure or a succession of pleasures4 ,pleasure depends largely upon what we have1 that is1 upon external things4 ,it has no deep roots at life's center2 yet it is good if we estimate it rightly and recognize that it is not real happiness4 ,beautiful clothes to wear1 good things to eat and drink1 a fine house to live in--these things all give pleasure1 yet many have found happiness without them4 ,some have had all of these and yet have led discontented lives4 ,parties1 balls1 social pleasures of every sort2 travel1 money to spend according to one's whims2 these have their place4 ,do they occupy a large place in your life8 ,well and good2 but there is nothing about any of these worthy to be ranked as happiness4 ,you can easily imagine yourself stripped of them all4 ,would you then be miserable8 ,congenial companionship and congenial work come nearer to making real happiness for most of us4 ,indeed1 there are few things upon which the majority of people are so dependent4 ,yet it would not be difficult to find those who have been deprived of both1 and have yet led strong1 serene1 and useful lives4 ,you have noticed that the sources of happiness which ,i have named differ in that while some can be taken away from us1 others cannot4 ,it is difficult to conceive of any place or time or circumstances under which we could be deprived of the privilege of loving and serving4 ,our feeling of obligation and responsibility for others is one that should deepen with years1 and from this source we should learn to derive more and more of our happiness4 ,this kind of happiness is very far removed from what we ordinarily think of as pleasure2 indeed1 it often involves suffering4 ,we can only have the highest happiness--such as goes along with being a great man--by having wide thoughts and much feeling for the rest of the world as well as ourselves2 and this sort of happiness often brings so much pain with it that we can only tell it from pain by its being what we would choose before everything else1 because our souls see it is good4 ,this was the happiness of ,lincoln1 carrying the burdens of his unhappy country on his suffering heart2 it was the happiness of the noble army of martyrs of every age2 it was the happiness of ,christ4 ,he taught us to call it blessedness4 ,as you carefully study ,his life and character1 you will see that ,he was acquainted with all three kinds of happiness4 ,he despised not pleasure4 ,he was no ascetic1 but came eating and drinking4 ,great must have been the enjoyment in nature of one who could speak as ,he spake of the lily of the field that outshone the splendor of ,solomon1 of the humble sparrow unloved of men1 but cared for by the good ,all-,father1 of the green blade bursting through the dark soil1 of the fields yellowing for the harvest4 ,he enjoyed mingling with ,his fellow men and knew the joys of friendship4 ,the work which ,he had been given to do absorbed ,him and filled ,him with constant joy4 ,if ,he had not been happy ,he could not have drawn others to ,him as ,he did1 and above all1 little children would not have come unto ,him4 ,if we sometimes have a different idea of ,him1 it is because of the closing scenes of ,his life1 after ,he became a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief4 ,yet it was blessedness that ,christ knew best of all4 ,the deeper joys were ,his2 the joy of self-forgetfulness and of self-sacrifice1 and the joy of knowing that ,he was in perfect harmony with ,his ,father's will4 ,yet who shall say that ,he was not happy8 ,would ,he have exchanged ,his life of toil and hardship and suffering for any other lot8 ,we know that ,he never sought another4 ,his secret lies open to the world1 for ,he spoke of it over and over again4 ,life does not treat us all alike in the matter of pleasure1 and if that were the end and aim of existence this would seem to be a very unjust world4 ,life does not treat us with entire impartiality even in the matter of happiness4 ,though most of us are given sufficient material to make life rich and full if we will1 yet there are lives that seem to be an exception to this rule4 ,but life treats us all alike in that if pleasure is denied us and we have scant material out of which to build happiness1 we may at least attain to blessedness4 ,we may have the joy of self-sacrifice1 the privilege of living for others1 the glad consciousness of duty nobly done1 the power of spiritual growth1 the blessedness of knowing that our will is in harmony with ,god's will4 ,these things the world does not give and it cannot take away4 ,,xiv ,,after ,,graduation ,there is a past which is gone forever1 but there is a future which is still our own4 ,never before or after is one likely to have such mingled feelings of regret for the vanished past and eagerness for the approaching future as at the close of the school life4 ,sometimes it is difficult to decide whether the note of sadness or of joy is the dominant one4 ,as the school days are seen to be rapidly slipping away1 the student recognizes1 perhaps for the first time1 something of their real worth4 ,they have not been wholly free from troubles and disappointments1 though some time1 by contrast1 it will seem that they have been so4 ,even now1 however1 you know them to have been days of happy freedom1 of glad fellowship1 of joyous achievement4 ,your chief regret in the future will be that you did not quite understand how perfect they were4 ,now you begin to see what older people mean when they talk of halcyon days4 ,not that they were the best days your life will know1--let no one persuade you to that1--but they have a quality all their own that can belong to no other period of life4 ,they will loom larger and larger as they recede into the past1 for you will realize more and more fully how much was then begun in you which will go on as long as your soul shall endure4 ,there are few who can approach the end of school or college life without being made a little serious by the thought that they are moving on4 ,so our lives glide on1 says ,george ,eliot2 the river ends1 we don't know where1 the sea begins1 and then there is no more jumping ashore4 ,perhaps it has come to you with overwhelming suddenness that the days of preparation for life are over and that the life for which you have been preparing is at hand4 ,you seem always to have been in a safe and sheltered harbor4 ,now you must push out into the great stream of life1 must become your own pilot1 must henceforth be responsible for the conduct of the voyage4 ,are you wise enough for such an undertaking8 ,who is8 ,yet an all-wise ,creator has ordained that this way lies the only possibility of growth4 ,responsibility is thrust upon us and we grow able to carry responsibility4 ,when ,duty whispers1 lo6 thou must4 ,the youth replies1 ,i can4 ,the realization of all these sober facts1 coming home to the young heart with sudden force1 often begets a mood of seriousness and of peculiar responsiveness4 ,it may be that one has not always listened very attentively even to words spoken in deepest earnestness4 ,life is so full of absorbing interests that it is easy to hear yet hear not4 ,we sometimes forget what an enormous amount of good advice is given to young people and how difficult it would be to follow all of it4 ,yet ,i have seldom known a student in whom the combined circumstances of graduation--those to which ,i have referred and many more--did not produce an earnest and responsive mood1 a mood which welcomed sincere and kindly advice4 ,at such a time words of counsel are likely to sink into the heart as seeds into the upturned earth after a rain4 ,is it for this reason that we call in the wisest and most inspiring speaker we can find to say the very last words to those whom we send forth1 conscious1 as we always must be1 how far short our best efforts have fallen of our high intentions8 ,there is in the heart of every young person who has any serious thoughts a desire that life may be lived worthily4 ,who can look forward with any satisfaction to being a drone in the world's busy hive8 ,who can be content to count only as a cipher8 ,each of us1 says one of our ex-,presidents1 unless he is contented to be a slumberer on the earth's surface1 must do his life-work with his whole heart4 ,does not this strike a responsive chord in each one of us8 ,there is a phrase current in these days which began as slang1 but which found so useful a place it is not likely to disappear4 ,it is the phrase1 make good4 ,it is oftenest heard in connection with young people after they have left school or college for active life4 ,their anxious friends inquire1 ,will he make good8 ,is she making good8 ,unless ,i am mistaken there is more or less turmoil and anxiety in the minds of most young people--an anxiety seldom admitted to others and not always to themselves1 lest they may not make good4 ,the greater one's longing to be of use1 the greater1 perhaps1 the fear of inability to live up to one's high obligations4 ,how can one be sure of finding the opportunity to render the service one is eager to render8 ,all departments of service seem already crowded2 can it be that the world needs more workers8 ,one must be peculiarly endowed with self-confidence who feels no misgivings on this score4 ,yet timidity never accomplished anything1 and belief that we shall succeed is the first essential of success4 ,though the world presents an apparently solid front to the would-be worker1 it is astonishing how quickly it makes a place for one who shows the qualities of perseverance and pluck4 ,there is work for every one who is earnest and willing4 ,put out of your mind1 then1 every thought of failure1 have faith in yourself and your own powers1 and believe that your part in life will be a worthy one4 ,we must remember1 in the first place1 that what we are at any given time is only the beginning of our real selves1 that is1 of our realized selves4 ,the self you seem to be is not you any more than yourself of five years ago was really you4 ,we are constantly changing1 never completed4 ,little do you know the power that may develop within you4 ,to begin somewhere1 somehow1 doing what your hand or your brain finds to do and doing it enthusiastically and well1 is a sure guaranty of that growth which begets larger opportunity4 ,to discover that opportunity1 however1 that vantage-point which determines future growth1 is1 in the case of many young women1 not so easy as it seems4 ,few who are not brought close to the problems of large numbers of young women realize how much more difficult it is for them than it is for their brothers to find1 immediately after graduation1 conditions which are conducive to earnest1 purposeful1 and growing lives4 ,contrast a graduating class of young women with a similar class of young men4 ,look forward into the next few years and note the differences that are likely to exist in the conditions and circumstances of their lives4 ,in the majority of cases the young man has already chosen his life-work and he hastens eagerly to it4 ,every stimulus to endeavor is furnished him4 ,the world expects him to give up all else1 if necessary1 for that chosen work1 and it is demanded of him that he succeed4 ,he knows the rich rewards which come to the man who reaches the top of his profession or business4 ,he may go to any part of the earth that will best suit his own purpose4 ,though he be an only son1 or even an only child1 he goes1 and the world does not disapprove4 ,to give up a promising career that loved ones might not be left lonely would seem1 to say the least1 quixotic4 ,has not the young man his own destiny to carve out8 ,all this is probably right4 ,i am not finding fault with the world's attitude toward its young men4 ,i am not intimating that there is no difference between men and women1 or that it is right or desirable that the average young woman should aspire to a career4 ,i should like1 however1 to point out some of the obstacles that often lie in the way of her growth4 ,how frequent are the comments upon the apparently aimless and purposeless life of some young woman who once was eager for growth and useful activity6 ,i want to inquire what the world has done to make her life purposeful4 ,indeed1 the probability is that if she has desired to engage in some definite work that she loved and believed worth while1 a chorus of voices has gone up in protest4 ,not all girls meet the same problems after graduation4 ,in this respect there are to my mind three distinct classes4 ,first1 there is the girl who is well satisfied to settle down at home and to whom after a brief period there comes an early and a happy marriage4 ,so far as we are concerned here1 her problems are settled1 and settled in an eminently satisfactory way4 ,to such a girl one only wants to give the warning that to ensconce one's self snugly in a happy home with one's loved ones and forget the rest of the world is ignoble4 ,there are too many bad homes in the world that need your touch1 there are too many homeless people who need your hospitality4 ,while the first and best service you can render is to create an ideal home1 yet that home should be shared4 ,one thing which all of us1 from the greatest to the least1 can do is to work for the betterment of the community in which we live4 ,so long as there are bad laws or unenforced good laws1 harmful sanitary conditions1 wrong social influences1 we should prove our good citizenship by making sacrifices for the public welfare4 ,the woman without a business or profession is in a peculiarly advantageous position for giving the service those with less time at their disposal cannot render4 ,the second class of girls ,i have in mind consists of those who do not wish or need to settle down at home with little or nothing to do1 but who crave a larger activity4 ,i am not speaking of those who are genuinely needed at home4 ,no girl with right instincts can be so cowardly as to desert in their need--and for her own happiness or supposed welfare--those to whom she owes most4 ,yet the need for her often seems to exist when it really does not4 ,there is no family that would not be the happier for the presence of an affectionate and helpful daughter in the home4 ,increase in the family happiness alone1 however1 is not a sufficient excuse for stifling the desires of an eager and aspiring daughter4 ,the family should make sure that her highest welfare1 as well as their own1 is being guarded4 ,when the parents decided to give that daughter an education1 they took an irrevocable step4 ,is it strange that now1 with all her mental faculties developed and her heart awakened to the needs of humanity1 those things which once filled her life can do so no longer8 ,parents who do not want to see in their daughter the development of new interests and new longings should not educate her4 ,how often have ,i heard the plea that the daughter was needed in the home when to the outward observer this need was much less than the daughter's need of opportunity6 ,those who take it upon themselves to deprive a young woman of that form of growth1 or of service which she most desires1 should not be forgetful of her future4 ,how many women have ,i seen who had given up exclusively to their parents the best years of their youth1 letting the time slip by when they might have acquired proficiency in some special and satisfying work6 ,death finally stepped in and removed the objects of their love and the center of their life-interest1 leaving them alone1 with empty hearts and lives4 ,look about you and see how many women you can count up who belong to this class4 ,i have often asked myself in such a case what it was the family received from this woman to justify the enormous sacrifice4 ,i sometimes wonder how parents ever dare to run the risk of such a fate for a beloved daughter4 ,the woman who does not marry should have some definite occupation as a permanent source of happiness and growth4 ,let us assume1 for a moment1 that you are one of the many young women who long for some form of service that will exercise all your higher powers and faculties4 ,let us suppose1 further1 that you are free from those family responsibilities which would debar you from gratifying that longing4 ,the craving for useful activity is not something to be stifled4 ,it is the result of one of the greatest spiritual laws of life--the law that action1 progress1 achievement are the essentials of a happy and contented life4 ,the soul wearies of the most beautiful surroundings when deprived of happy activity4 ,one of the supreme joys of life is the joy of doing4 ,to feel all one's powers stretched to the utmost1 and to realize that through the exercise of those powers one is making a real contribution to the world's welfare1 is the source of the deepest satisfaction the human heart can know4 ,teas and balls and all the pleasures of social intercourse have their place1 but you cannot live on them4 ,they cannot feed the sources of the soul's power4 ,do something worth living for1 worth dying for4 ,do something to show that you have a heart and a mind and a soul within you1 were some of the ringing words of ,dean ,stanley4 ,half a century ago the world's emphatic disapproval of the woman who engaged in any activity outside of the home was enough to clip the wings of all but the most daring4 ,how difficult it is for us to realize now the scorn and contumely which were heaped upon noble ,florence ,nightingale1 when she announced that she intended to become a nurse and to establish training-schools where other young women might study that self-sacrificing profession6 ,it was called unwomanly1 degrading4 ,the modern ,florence ,nightingale finds a world eager to welcome her services1 ready to recompense her for them1 and glad to honor her4 ,the young woman of to-day finds little in the world's attitude to debar her from entering upon any form of service which attracts her4 ,thus have our ideas regarding women and their rights and privileges progressed in the last fifty or sixty years4 ,we recognize that in some respects men and women are not as different as we once thought4 ,the craving for self-realization and the joy of achievement are neither distinctly masculine nor distinctly feminine4 ,they are simply human4 ,find1 then1 an opening somewhere4 ,if you cannot secure the precise thing you want to do1 take what you can secure and make a success of it4 ,learn to do something well1 and if possible let it be something for which the world is glad to compensate you4 ,mrs4 ,palmer believed that every girl1 rich or poor1 should acquire the ability to earn a living for herself and others in case of need4 ,she insisted upon the importance of giving every girl1 no matter what her present circumstances1 a special training in some one thing by which she can render society service1 not amateur1 but of an expert sort1 and service1 too1 for which it will be willing to pay a price4 ,the third girl whom ,i have in mind is the one whose presence in the home is indispensable1 who must put out of mind all forms of remunerative labor1 and1 therefore1 must find her chief success and happiness in ministering to the needs of loved ones4 ,it may be that the mother upon whom you once leaned so heavily must now lean on you4 ,or perhaps the mother is no longer in the home and you have the high privilege of taking her place4 ,what better opportunity for growth than this could any girl ask8 ,we cannot choose our duties4 ,life makes them for us1 and if we shirk them1 there is no happiness and no success for us4 ,if you make it the rule of your life to escape from what is burdensome and to choose the path of pleasure1 happiness will not come anyway and you will lack the satisfaction of knowing that you have done right4 ,yet even the girl who remains in her own home can usually spare time and strength for some other service1 and it is best that she should4 ,her horizon is thereby widened1 new friends that are worth while are made1 and she is given an opportunity for growth in a different direction from that supplied by home duties4 ,i have known many girls who have been remarkably successful in combining the two--work inside and work outside of the home4 ,living in your own home and helping to make it a center of attraction1 hospitality1 and fine influence1 you are in a peculiarly fortunate position for rendering a form of service which is needed in every city and every village throughout the country4 ,many young women so situated have done efficient work in connection with the ,young ,women's ,christian ,association or with girls' clubs4 ,church work is a field that is open to all4 ,in women's clubs1 literary clubs1 and organizations for civic betterment many find avenues for useful activity1 while others find satisfaction in charity work1 hospital work1 or other forms of benevolent service4 ,the young woman who seeks to give her service is often surprised at her inability to find just what she likes or to perform it well when found4 ,this is because the untrained worker is always at a disadvantage4 ,it is far easier to fill a humble position on a small salary1 where the duties are definite and must be performed whether one will or no4 ,in such a position1 if one is earnest and industrious1 one must necessarily grow4 ,with all forms of unpaid labor1 the danger is lest one may not take one's work seriously enough1 and may not hold one's self closely to responsibility4 ,any trained worker who depends upon volunteer assistants1 as is often the case in girls' clubs and the ,young ,women's ,christian ,association1 can tell you how rarely she finds an unpaid helper upon whom she can depend4 ,if you select some such work1 even though you can give it but a few hours a week1 and if you see fit to throw yourself as enthusiastically and earnestly into it as if you were taking a position as teacher or librarian or stenographer1 there can be no doubt that you will find in it happiness and success4 ,when you think of the thousands of homeless women wage-earners1 you can realize how thankful every girl should be who has a good home4 ,surely there is1 for most girls1 some midway ground between starting out as independently as their brothers do1 to carve out their own career1 and stagnating at home4 ,one of the chief results of the higher education of women should be that they do much uncompensated labor which is now done badly or not at all4 ,there is a rich field for women of the well-to-do classes who do not need to earn their living1 and this field is growing larger every year4 ,there is little excuse for idle hands or empty hearts or purposeless lives4 ,some have eyes to see1 yet they see not4 ,if you belong to the class of girls to which ,i have referred1 ask yourself what some more eager and purposeful person in your place would find to do4 ,it is a splendid thing to live in the twentieth century4 ,the young people who enter life these days are going out into the busiest world there has ever been4 ,never has the need of strong1 capable1 intelligent women been so great4 ,the bond of fellowship which unites each one of us to the whole human race is to be recognized in the future as never before4 ,women of the future are to demand of themselves almost all that was demanded of the women of the past and much more1 and they will be equal to the demands because of more highly trained intelligence4 ,the greatest temptation of the average young woman to-day in our better classes of society is to listen too willingly to the winsome voice of pleasure4 ,i do not mean wrong kinds of pleasure2 ,i mean those that are in themselves harmless4 ,nor do ,i mean that it is desirable that youth should lose any of its natural joy and gladness4 ,the world can ill spare any of that4 ,but the continual giving-up of ourselves to things that leave no lasting impress for good1 and that do not lift us above ourselves1 robs us of time and strength that should be given to the main business of life4 ,the great wrong in modern life1 says ,professor ,james1 is a desperate struggle for a four-cornered contentment4 ,teach those who come your way that it is not a formal peace which is worth having in life2 it is the deep consciousness of power to create and progress1 to create new in life1 and to live for wide1 free1 unsullied things1 which never fail and never can decay4 ,the ,riverside ,press ,,cambridge ,,massachusetts ,u ,s ,a