,,the ,,lost ,,word   ,a ,christmas     
,legend of ,long ,ago   ,by  ,,henry    
,,van ,,dyke    ,new ,york              
,,mdcccxcviii     ,,dedicated ,,to ,,my 
,,friend ,,hamilton ,w4 ,,mabie         
,,contents      ,i ,,the ,,poverty ,,of 
,,hermas   ,,ii ,a ,,christmas ,,loss   
,,iii ,,parting1 ,,but ,,no ,,farewell  
,,iv ,,love ,,in ,,search ,,of ,a ,,word
    ,v ,,riches ,,without ,,rest   ,,vi 
,,great ,,fear ,,and ,,recovered ,,joy  
,i  ,,the ,,poverty ,,of ,,hermas       
,,come down1 ,hermas1 come down6 ,the   
night is past4 ,it is time to be        
stirring4 ,christ is born to-day4 ,peace
 be with you in ,his name4 ,make haste  
and come down6  ,a little group of young
 men were standing in a street of       
,antioch1 in the dusk of early morning1 
fifteen hundred years ago4 ,it was a    
class of candidates who had nearly      
finished their two years of training for
 the ,christian church4 ,they had come  
to call their fellow-student ,hermas    
from his lodging4  ,their voices rang   

out cheerily through the cool air4 ,they
 were full of that glad sense of life   
which the young feel when they awake and
 come to rouse one who is still         
sleeping4 ,there was a note of friendly 
triumph in their call1 as if they were  
exulting unconsciously in having begun  
the adventure of the new day before     
their comrade4  ,but ,hermas was not    
asleep4 ,he had been waking for hours1  
and the dark walls of his narrow lodging
 had been a prison to his restless      
heart4 ,a nameless sorrow and discontent
 had fallen upon him1 and he could find 
no escape from the heaviness of his own 
thoughts4  ,there is a sadness of youth 
into which the old cannot enter4 ,it    
seems to them unreal and causeless4 ,but
 it is even more bitter and burdensome  
than the sadness of age4 ,there is a    
sting of resentment in it1 a fever of   
angry surprise that the world should so 
soon be a disappointment1 and life so   
early take on the look of a failure4 ,it
 has little reason in it1 perhaps1 but  

it has all the more weariness and gloom1
 because the man who is oppressed by it 
feels dimly that it is an unnatural and 
an unreasonable thing1 that he should be
 separated from the joy of his          
companions1 and tired of living before  
he has fairly begun to live4  ,hermas   
had fallen into the very depths of this 
strange self-pity4 ,he was out of tune  
with everything around him4 ,he had been
 thinking1 through the dead1 still      
night1 of all that he had given up when 
he left the house of his father1 the    
wealthy pagan ,demetrius1 to join the   
company of the ,christians4 ,only two   
years ago he had been one of the richest
 young men in ,antioch4 ,now he was one 
of the poorest4 ,and the worst of it was
 that1 though he had made the choice    
willingly and accepted the sacrifice    
with a kind of enthusiasm1 he was       
already dissatisfied with it4  ,the new 
life was no happier than the old4 ,he   
was weary of vigils and fasts1 weary of 
studies and penances1 weary of prayers  

and sermons4 ,he felt like a slave in a 
treadmill4 ,he knew that he must go on4 
,his honour1 his conscience1 his sense  
of duty1 bound him4 ,he could not go    
back to the old careless pagan life     
again2 for something had happened within
 him which made a return impossible4    
,doubtless he had found the true        
religion1 but he had found it only as a 
task and a burden2 its joy and peace had
 slipped away from him4  ,he felt       
disillusioned and robbed4 ,he sat beside
 his hard little couch1 waiting without 
expectancy for the gray dawn of another 
empty day1 and hardly lifting his head  
at the shouts of his friends4  ,come    
down1 ,hermas1 you sluggard6 ,come down6
 ,it is ,christmas morn4 ,awake and be  
glad with us6  ,i am coming1 he answered
 listlessly2 only have patience a       
moment4 ,i have been awake since        
midnight1 and waiting for the day4  ,you
 hear him6 said his friends one to      
another4 ,how he puts us all to shame6  
,he is more watchful1 more eager1 than  

any of us4 ,our master1 ,john the       
,presbyter1 does well to be proud of    
him4 ,he is the best man in our class4  
,when he is baptized the church will get
 a strong member4  ,while they were     
talking the door opened and ,hermas     
stepped out4 ,he was a figure to be     
remarked in any company--tall1          
broad-shouldered1 straight-hipped1 with 
a head proudly poised on the firm column
 of the neck1 and short brown curls     
clustering over the square forehead4 ,it
 was the perpetual type of vigourous and
 intelligent young manhood1 such as may 
be found in every century among the     
throngs of ordinary men1 as if to show  
what the flower of the race should be4  
,but the light in his dark blue eyes was
 clouded and uncertain2 his smooth      
cheeks were leaner than they should have
 been at twenty2 and there were downward
 lines about his mouth which spoke of   
desires unsatisfied and ambitions       
repressed4 ,he joined his companions    
with brief greetings1--a nod to one1 a  

word to another1--and they passed       
together down the steep street4         
,overhead the mystery of daybreak was   
silently transfiguring the sky4 ,the    
curtain of darkness had lifted softly   
upward along the edge of the horizon4   
,the ragged crests of ,mount ,silpius   
were outlined with pale rosy light4 ,in 
the central vault of heaven a few large 
stars twinkled drowsily4 ,the great     
city1 still chiefly pagan1 lay more than
 half asleep4 ,but multitudes of the    
,christians1 dressed in white and       
carrying lighted torches in their hands1
 were hurrying toward the ,basilica of  
,constantine to keep the latest holy day
 of the church1 the new festival of the 
birthday of their ,master4  ,the vast1  
bare building was soon crowded1 and the 
younger converts1 who were not yet      
permitted to stand among the baptized1  
found it difficult to come to their     
appointed place between the first two   
pillars of the house1 just within the   
threshold4 ,there was some good-humoured

 pressing and jostling about the door2  
but the candidates pushed steadily      
forward4  ,by your leave1 friends1 our  
station is beyond you4 ,will you let us 
pass8 ,many thanks4  ,a touch here1 a   
courteous nod there1 a little patience1 
a little persistence1 and at last they  
stood in their place4 ,hermas was taller
 than his companions2 he could look     
easily over their heads and survey the  
white sea of people stretching away     
through the columns1 under the shadows  
of the high roof1 as the tide spreads on
 a calm day into the pillared cavern of 
,staffa1 quiet as if the ocean hardly   
dared to breathe4 ,the light of many    
flambeaux fell1 in flickering1 uncertain
 rays1 over the assembly4 ,at the end of
 the vista there was a circle of        
clearer1 steadier radiance4 ,hermas     
could see the bishop in his great chair1
 surrounded by the presbyters1 the lofty
 desks on either side for the readers of
 the ,scripture1 the communion-table and
 the table of offerings in the middle of

 the church4  ,the call to prayer       
sounded down the long aisle4 ,thousands 
of hands were joyously lifted in the    
air1 as if the sea had blossomed into   
waving lilies1 and the ,amen was like   
the murmur of countless ripples in an   
echoing place4  ,then the singing began1
 led by the choir of a hundred trained  
voices which the ,bishop ,paul had      
founded in ,antioch4 ,timidly1 at first1
 the music felt its way1 as the people  
joined with a broken and uncertain      
cadence1 the mingling of many little    
waves not yet gathered into rhythm and  
harmony4 ,soon the longer1 stronger     
billows of song rolled in1 sweeping from
 side to side as the men and the women  
answered in the clear antiphony4        
,hermas had often been carried on those 
,tides of music's golden sea ,setting   
toward eternity4 ,but to-day his heart  
was a rock that stood motionless4 ,the  
flood passed by and left him unmoved4   
,looking out from his place at the foot 
of the pillar1 he saw a man standing far

 off in the lofty bema4 ,short and      
slender1 wasted by sickness1 gray before
 his time1 with pale cheeks and wrinkled
 brow1 he seemed at first like a person 
of no significance--a reed shaken in the
 wind4 ,but there was a look in his     
deep-set1 poignant eyes1 as he gathered 
all the glances of the multitude to     
himself1 that belied his mean appearance
 and prophesied power4 ,hermas knew very
 well who it was3 the man who had drawn 
him from his father's house1 the teacher
 who was instructing him as a son in the
 ,christian faith1 the guide and trainer
 of his soul--,john of ,antioch1 whose  
fame filled the city and began to       
overflow ,asia1 and who was called      
already ,chrysostom1 the golden-mouthed 
preacher4  ,hermas had felt the magic of
 his eloquence many a time2 and to-day1 
as the tense voice vibrated through the 
stillness1 and the sentences moved      
onward1 growing fuller and stronger1    
bearing argosies of costly rhetoric and 
treasures of homely speech in their     

bosom1 and drawing the hearts of men    
with a resistless magic1 ,hermas knew   
that the preacher had never been more   
potent1 more inspired4  ,he played on   
that immense congregation as a master on
 an instrument4 ,he rebuked their sins1 
and they trembled4 ,he touched their    
sorrows1 and they wept4 ,he spoke of the
 conflicts1 the triumphs1 the glories of
 their faith1 and they broke out in     
thunders of applause4 ,he hushed them   
into reverent silence1 and led them     
tenderly1 with the wise men of the      
,east1 to the lowly birthplace of       
,jesus4  ,do thou1 therefore1 likewise  
leave the ,jewish people1 the troubled  
city1 the bloodthirsty tyrant1 the pomp 
of the world1 and hasten to ,bethlehem1 
the sweet house of spiritual bread4 ,for
 though thou be but a shepherd1 and come
 hither1 thou shalt behold the young    
,child in an inn4 ,though thou be a     
king1 and come not hither1 thy purple   
robe shall profit thee nothing4 ,though 
thou be one of the wise men1 this shall 

be no hindrance to thee4 ,only let thy  
coming be to honour and adore1 with     
trembling joy1 the ,son of ,god1 to     
whose name be glory1 on this ,his       
birthday1 and forever and forever4  ,the
 soul of ,hermas did not answer to the  
musician's touch4 ,the strings of his   
heart were slack and soundless2 there   
was no response within him4 ,he was     
neither shepherd1 nor king1 nor wise    
man1 only an unhappy1 dissatisfied1     
questioning youth4 ,he was out of       
sympathy with the eager preacher1 the   
joyous hearers4 ,in their harmony he had
 no part4 ,was it for this that he had  
forsaken his inheritance and narrowed   
his life to poverty and hardship8 ,what 
was it all worth8  ,the gracious prayers
 with which the young converts were     
blessed and dismissed before the        
sacrament sounded hollow in his ears4   
,never had he felt so utterly lonely as 
in that praying throng4 ,he went out    
with his companions like a man departing
 from a banquet where all but he had    

been fed4  ,farewell1 ,hermas1 they     
cried1 as he turned from them at the    
door4 ,but he did not look back1 nor    
wave his hand4 ,he was alone already in 
his heart4  ,when he entered the broad  
,avenue of the ,colonnades1 the sun had 
already topped the eastern hills1 and   
the ruddy light was streaming through   
the long double row of archways and over
 the pavements of crimson marble4 ,but  
,hermas turned his back to the morning1 
and walked with his shadow before him4  
,the street began to swarm and whirl and
 quiver with the motley life of a huge  
city3 beggars and jugglers1 dancers and 
musicians1 gilded youths in their       
chariots1 and daughters of joy looking  
out from their windows1 all intoxicated 
with the mere delight of living and the 
gladness of a new day4 ,the pagan       
populace of ,antioch--reckless1         
pleasure-loving1 spendthrift--were      
preparing for the ,saturnalia4 ,but all 
this ,hermas had renounced4 ,he cleft   
his way through the crowd slowly1 like a

 reluctant swimmer weary of breasting   
the tide4  ,at the corner of the street 
where the narrow1 populous ,lane of the 
,camel-drivers crossed the ,colonnades1 
a story-teller had bewitched a circle of
 people around him4 ,it was the same old
 tale of love and adventure that many   
generations have listened to2 but the   
lively fancy of the hearers lent it new 
interest1 and the wit of the improviser 
drew forth sighs of interest and shouts 
of laughter4  ,a yellow-haired girl on  
the edge of the throng turned1 as       
,hermas passed1 and smiled in his face4 
,she put out her hand and caught him by 
the sleeve4  ,stay1 she said1 and laugh 
a bit with us4 ,i know who you are--the 
son of ,demetrius4 ,you must have bags  
of gold4 ,why do you look so black8     
,love is alive yet4  ,hermas shook off  
her hand1 but not ungently4  ,i don't   
know what you mean1 he said4 ,you are   
mistaken in me4 ,i am poorer than you   
are4  ,but as he passed on1 he felt the 
warm touch of her fingers through the   

cloth on his arm4 ,it seemed as if she  
had plucked him by the heart4  ,he went 
out by the ,western ,gate1 under the    
golden cherubim that the ,emperor ,titus
 had stolen from the ruined ,temple of  
,jerusalem and fixed upon the arch of   
triumph4 ,he turned to the left1 and    
climbed the hill to the road that led to
 the ,grove of ,daphne4  ,in all the    
world there was no other highway as     
beautiful4 ,it wound for five miles     
along the foot of the mountains1 among  
gardens and villas1 plantations of      
myrtles and mulberries1 with wide       
outlooks over the valley of ,orontes and
 the distant1 shimmering sea4  ,the     
richest of all the dwellings was the    
,house of the ,golden ,pillars1 the     
mansion of ,demetrius4 ,he had won the  
favor of the apostate ,emperor ,julian1 
whose vain efforts to restore the       
worship of the heathen gods1 some twenty
 years ago1 had opened an easy way to   
wealth and power for all who would mock 
and oppose ,christianity4 ,demetrius was

 not a sincere fanatic like his royal   
master2 but he was bitter enough in his 
professed scorn of the new religion1 to 
make him a favourite at the court where 
the old religion was in fashion4 ,he had
 reaped a rich reward of his policy1 and
 a strange sense of consistency made him
 more fiercely loyal to it than if it   
had been a real faith4 ,he was proud of 
being called the friend of ,julian2 and 
when his son joined himself to the      
,christians1 and acknowledged the unseen
 ,god1 it seemed like an insult to his  
father's success4 ,he drove the boy from
 his door and disinherited him4  ,the   
glittering portico of the serene1       
haughty house1 the repose of the        
well-ordered garden1 still blooming with
 belated flowers1 seemed at once to     
deride and to invite the young outcast  
plodding along the dusty road4 ,this is 
your birthright1 whispered the          
clambering rose-trees by the gate2 and  
the closed portals of carven bronze     
said3 ,you have sold it for a thought--a

 dream4     ,,ii  ,a ,,christmas ,,loss 
,,hermas found the ,grove of ,daphne    
quite deserted4 ,there was no sound in  
the enchanted vale but the rustling of  
the light winds chasing each other      
through the laurel thickets1 and the    
babble of innumerable streams4 ,memories
 of the days and nights of delicate     
pleasure that the grove had often seen  
still haunted the bewildered paths and  
broken fountains4 ,at the foot of a     
rocky eminence1 crowned with the ruins  
of ,apollo's temple1 which had been     
mysteriously destroyed by fire just     
after ,julian had restored and          
reconsecrated it1 ,hermas sat down      
beside a gushing spring1 and gave       
himself up to sadness4  ,how beautiful  
the world would be1 how joyful1 how easy
 to live in1 without religion4 ,these   
questions about unseen things1 perhaps  
about unreal things1 these restraints   
and duties and sacrifices--if ,i were   
only free from them all1 and could only 
forget them all1 then ,i could live my  

life as ,i pleased1 and be happy4  ,why 
not8 said a quiet voice at his back4    
,he turned1 and saw an old man with a   
long beard and a threadbare cloak 7the  
garb affected by the pagan philosophers7
 standing behind him and smiling        
curiously4  ,how is it that you answer  
that which has not been spoken8 said    
,hermas2 and who are you that honour me 
with your company8  ,forgive the        
intrusion1 answered the stranger2 it is 
not ill meant4 ,a friendly interest is  
as good as an introduction4  ,but to    
what singular circumstance do ,i owe    
this interest8  ,to your face1 said the 
old man1 with a courteous inclination4  
,perhaps also a little to the fact that 
,i am the oldest inhabitant here1 and   
feel as if all visitors were my guests1 
in a way4  ,are you1 then1 one of the   
keepers of the grove8 ,and have you     
given up your work with the trees to    
take a holiday as a philosopher8  ,not  
at all4 ,the robe of philosophy is a    
mere affectation1 ,i must confess4 ,i   

think little of it4 ,my profession is   
the care of altars4 ,in fact1 ,i am that
 solitary priest of ,apollo whom the    
,emperor ,julian found here when he came
 to revive the worship of the grove1    
some twenty years ago4 ,you have heard  
of the incident8  ,yes1 said ,hermas1   
beginning to be interested2 the whole   
city must have heard of it1 for it is   
still talked of4 ,but surely it was a   
strange sacrifice that you brought to   
celebrate the restoration of ,apollo's  
temple8  ,you mean the goose8 ,well1    
perhaps it was not precisely what the   
emperor expected4 ,but it was all that  
,i had1 and it seemed to me not         
inappropriate4 ,you will agree to that  
if you are a ,christian1 as ,i guess    
from your dress4  ,you speak lightly for
 a priest of ,apollo4  ,oh1 as for that1
 ,i am no bigot4 ,the priesthood is a   
professional matter1 and the name of    
,apollo is as good as any other4 ,how   
many altars do you think there have been
 in this grove8  ,i do not know4  ,just 

four-and-twenty1 including that of the  
martyr ,babylas1 whose ruined chapel you
 see just beyond us4 ,i have had        
something to do with most of them in my 
time4 ,they--are transitory4 ,they give 
employment to care-takers for a while4  
,but the thing that lasts1 and the thing
 that interests me1 is the human life   
that plays around them4 ,the game has   
been going on for centuries4 ,it still  
disports itself very pleasantly on      
summer evenings through these shady     
walks4 ,believe me1 for ,i know4 ,daphne
 and ,apollo were shadows4 ,but the     
flying maidens and the pursuing lovers1 
the music and the dances1 these are the 
realities4 ,life is the game1 and the   
world keeps it up merrily4 ,but you8    
,you are of a sad countenance for one so
 young and so fair4 ,are you a loser in 
the game8  ,the words and tone of the   
speaker fitted ,hermas' mood as a key   
fits the lock4 ,he opened his heart to  
the old man1 and told him the story of  
his life3 his luxurious boyhood in his  

father's house2 the irresistible spell  
which compelled him to forsake it when  
he heard ,john's preaching of the new   
religion2 his lonely year with the      
anchorites among the mountains2 the     
strict discipline in his teacher's house
 at ,antioch2 his weariness of duty1 his
 distaste for poverty1 his discontent   
with worship4  ,and to-day1 said he1 ,i 
have been thinking that ,i am a fool4   
,my life is swept as bare as a hermit's 
cell4 ,there is nothing in it but a     
dream1 a thought of ,god1 which does not
 satisfy me4  ,the singular smile       
deepened on his companion's face4 ,you  
are ready1 then1 he suggested1 to       
renounce your new religion and go back  
to that of your father8  ,no2 ,i        
renounce nothing1 ,i accept nothing4 ,i 
do not wish to think about it4 ,i only  
wish to live4  ,a very reasonable wish1 
and ,i think you are about to see its   
accomplishment4 ,indeed1 ,i may even say
 that ,i can put you in the way of      
securing it4 ,do you believe in magic8  

,i have told you already that ,i do not 
know whether ,i believe in anything4    
,this is not a day on which ,i care to  
make professions of faith4 ,i believe in
 what ,i see4 ,i want what will give me 
pleasure4  ,well1 said the old man1     
soothingly1 as he plucked a leaf from   
the laurel-tree above them and dipped it
 in the spring1 let us dismiss the      
riddles of belief4 ,i like them as      
little as you do4 ,you know this is a   
,castalian fountain4 ,the ,emperor      
,hadrian once read his fortune here from
 a leaf dipped in the water4 ,let us see
 what this leaf tells us4 ,it is already
 turning yellow4 ,how do you read that8 
,wealth1 said ,hermas1 laughing1 as he  
looked at his mean garments4  ,and here 
is a bud on the stem that seems to be   
swelling4 ,what is that8  ,pleasure1    
answered ,hermas1 bitterly4  ,and here  
is a tracing of wreaths upon the        
surface4 ,what do you make of that8     
,what you will1 said ,hermas1 not even  
taking the trouble to look4 ,suppose we 

say success and fame8  ,yes1 said the   
stranger2 it is all written here4 ,i    
promise that you shall enjoy it all4    
,but you do not need to believe in my   
promise4 ,i am not in the habit of      
requiring faith of those whom ,i would  
serve4 ,no such hard conditions for me6 
,there is only one thing that ,i ask4   
,this is the season that you ,christians
 call the ,christmas1 and you have taken
 up the pagan custom of exchanging      
gifts4 ,well1 if ,i give to you1 you    
must give to me4 ,it is a small thing1  
and really the thing you can best afford
 to part with3 a single word--the name  
of ,him you profess to worship4 ,let me 
take that word and all that belongs to  
it entirely out of your life1 so that   
you shall never need to hear it or speak
 it again4 ,you will be richer without  
it4 ,i promise you everything1 and this 
is all ,i ask in return4 ,do you        
consent8  ,yes1 ,i consent1 said        
,hermas1 mocking4 ,if you can take your 
price1 a word1 you can keep your        

promise1 a dream4  ,the stranger laid   
the long1 cool1 wet leaf softly across  
the young man's eyes4 ,an icicle of pain
 darted through them2 every nerve in his
 body was drawn together there in a knot
 of agony4  ,then all the tangle of pain
 seemed to be lifted out of him4 ,a cool
 languor of delight flowed back through 
every vein1 and he sank into a profound 
sleep4     ,,iii  ,,parting1 ,,but ,,no 
,,farewell   ,,there is a slumber so    
deep that it annihilates time4 ,it is   
like a fragment of eternity4 ,beneath   
its enchantment of vacancy1 a day seems 
like a thousand years1 and a thousand   
years might well pass as one day4  ,it  
was such a sleep that fell upon ,hermas 
in the ,grove of ,daphne4 ,an           
immeasurable period1 an interval of life
 so blank and empty that he could not   
tell whether it was long or short1 had  
passed over him when his senses began to
 stir again4 ,the setting sun was       
shooting arrows of gold under the glossy
 laurel-leaves4 ,he rose and stretched  

his arms1 grasping a smooth branch above
 him and shaking it1 to make sure that  
he was alive4 ,then he hurried back     
toward ,antioch1 treading lightly as if 
on air4  ,the ground seemed to spring   
beneath his feet4 ,already his life had 
changed1 he knew not how4 ,something    
that did not belong to him had dropped  
away2 he had returned to a former state 
of being4 ,he felt as if anything might 
happen to him1 and he was ready for     
anything4 ,he was a new man1 yet        
curiously familiar to himself--as if he 
had done with playing a tiresome part   
and returned to his natural state4 ,he  
was buoyant and free1 without a care1 a 
doubt1 a fear4  ,as he drew near to his 
father's house he saw a confusion of    
servants in the porch1 and the old      
steward ran down to meet him at the     
gate4  ,lord1 we have been seeking you  
everywhere4 ,the master is at the point 
of death1 and has sent for you4 ,since  
the sixth hour he calls your name       
continually4 ,come to him quickly1 lord1

 for ,i fear the time is short4  ,hermas
 entered the house at once2 nothing     
could amaze him to-day4 ,his father lay 
on an ivory couch in the inmost chamber1
 with shrunken face and restless eyes1  
his lean fingers picking incessantly at 
the silken coverlet4  ,my son6 he       
murmured2 ,hermas1 my son6 ,it is good  
that you have come back to me4 ,i have  
missed you4 ,i was wrong to send you    
away4 ,you shall never leave me again4  
,you are my son1 my heir4 ,i have       
changed everything4 ,hermas1 my son1    
come nearer--close beside me4 ,take my  
hand1 my son6  ,the young man obeyed1   
and1 kneeling by the couch1 gathered his
 father's cold1 twitching fingers in his
 firm1 warm grasp4  ,hermas1 life is    
passing--long1 rich1 prosperous2 the    
last sands1 ,i--cannot stay them4 ,my   
religion1 a good policy--,julian was my 
friend4 ,but now he is gone--where8 ,my 
soul is empty--nothing beyond--very     
dark--,i am afraid4 ,but you know       
something better4 ,you found something  

that made you willing to give up your   
life for it--it must have been almost   
like dying--yet you were happy4 ,what   
was it you found8 ,see1 ,i am giving you
 everything4 ,i have forgiven you4 ,now 
forgive me4 ,tell me1 what is it8 ,your 
secret1 your faith--give it to me before
 ,i go4  ,at the sound of this broken   
pleading a strange passion of pity and  
love took the young man by the throat4  
,his voice shook a little as he answered
 eagerly3  ,father1 there is nothing to 
forgive4 ,i am your son2 ,i will gladly 
tell1 you all that ,i know4 ,i will give
 you the secret of faith4 ,father1 you  
must believe with all your heart1 and   
soul1 and strength in--  ,where was the 
word--the word that he had been used to 
utter night and morning1 the word that  
had meant to him more than he had ever  
known8 ,what had become of it8  ,he     
groped for it in the dark room of his   
mind4 ,he had thought he could lay his  
hand upon it in a moment1 but it was    
gone4 ,some one had taken it away4      

,everything else was most clear to him3 
the terror of death2 the lonely soul    
appealing from his father's eyes2 the   
instant need of comfort and help4 ,but  
at the one point where he looked for    
help he could find nothing2 only an     
empty space4 ,the word of hope had      
vanished4 ,he felt for it blindly and in
 desperate haste4  ,father1 wait6 ,i    
have forgotten something--it has slipped
 away from me4 ,i shall find it in a    
moment4 ,there is hope--,i will tell you
 presently--oh1 wait6  ,the bony hand   
gripped his like a vice2 the glazed eyes
 opened wider4 ,tell me1 whispered the  
old man2 tell me quickly1 for ,i must   
go4  ,the voice sank into a dull rattle4
 ,the fingers closed once more1 and     
relaxed4 ,the light behind the eyes went
 out4  ,hermas1 the master of the ,house
 of the ,golden ,pillars1 was keeping   
watch by the dead4     ,,iv  ,,love ,,in
 ,,search ,,of ,a ,,word   ,,the break  
with the old life was as clean as if it 
had been cut with a knife4 ,some faint  

image of a hermit's cell1 a bare lodging
 in a back street of ,antioch1 a        
class-room full of earnest students1    
remained in ,hermas' memory4 ,some dull 
echo of the voice of ,john the          
,presbyter1 and the murmured sound of   
chanting1 and the murmur of great       
congregations1 still lingered in his    
ears2 but it was like something that had
 happened to another person1 something  
that he had read long ago1 but of which 
he had lost the meaning4  ,his new life 
was full and smooth and rich--too rich  
for any sense of loss to make itself    
felt4 ,there were a hundred affairs to  
busy him1 and the days ran swiftly by as
 if they were shod with winged sandals4 
,nothing needed to be considered1       
prepared for1 begun4 ,everything was    
ready and waiting for him4 ,all that he 
had to do was to go on with it4 ,the    
estate of ,demetrius was even greater   
than the world had supposed4 ,there were
 fertile lands in ,syria which the      
emperor had given him1 marble-quarries  

in ,phrygia1 and forests of valuable    
timber in ,cilicia2 the vaults of the   
villa contained chests of gold and      
silver2 the secret cabinets in the      
master's room were full of precious     
stones4 ,the stewards were diligent and 
faithful4 ,the servants of the          
magnificent household rejoiced at the   
young master's return4 ,his table was   
spread2 the rose-garland of pleasure was
 woven for his head1 and his cup was    
already filled with the spicy wine of   
power4  ,the period of mourning for his 
father came at a fortunate moment1 to   
seclude and safeguard him from the storm
 of political troubles and persecutions 
that fell upon ,antioch after the       
insults offered by the mob to the       
imperial statues in the year #hhg4 ,the 
friends of ,demetrius1 prudent and      
conservative persons1 gathered around   
,hermas and made him welcome to their   
circle4 ,chief among them was ,libanius1
 the sophist1 his nearest neighbour1    
whose daughter ,athenais had been the   

playmate of ,hermas in the old days4    
,he had left her a child4 ,he found her 
a beautiful woman4 ,what transformation 
is so magical1 so charming1 as this8 ,to
 see the uncertain lines of-youth       
rounded into firmness and symmetry1 to  
discover the half-ripe1 merry1 changing 
face of the girl matured into perfect   
loveliness1 and looking at you with     
calm1 clear1 serious eyes1 not          
forgetting the past1 but fully conscious
 of the changed present--this is to     
behold a miracle in the flesh4  ,where  
have you been1 these two years8 said    
,athenais1 as they walked together      
through the garden of lilies where they 
had so often played4  ,in a land of     
tiresome dreams1 answered ,hermas2 but  
you have wakened me1 and ,i am never    
going back again4  ,it was not to be    
supposed that the sudden disappearance  
of ,hermas from among his former        
associates could long remain unnoticed4 
,at first it was a mystery4 ,there was a
 fear1 for two or three days1 that he   

might be lost4 ,some of his more        
intimate companions maintained that his 
devotion had led him out into the desert
 to join the anchorites4 ,but the news  
of his return to the ,house of the      
,golden ,pillars1 and of his new life as
 its master1 filtered quickly through   
the gossip of the city4  ,then the      
church was filled with dismay and grief 
and reproach4 ,messengers and letters   
were sent to ,hermas4 ,they disturbed   
him a little1 but they took no hold upon
 him4 ,it seemed to him as if the       
messengers spoke in a strange language4 
,as he read the letters there were words
 blotted out of the writing which made  
the full sense unintelligible4  ,his old
 companions came to reprove him for     
leaving them1 to warn him of the peril  
of apostasy1 to entreat him to return4  
,it all sounded vague and futile4 ,they 
spoke as if he had betrayed or offended 
some one2 but when they came to name the
 object of his fear--the one whom he had
 displeased1 and to whom he should      

return--he heard nothing2 there was a   
blur of silence in their speech4 ,the   
clock pointed to the hour1 but the bell 
did not strike4 ,at last ,hermas refused
 to see them any more4  ,one day ,john  
the ,presbyter stood in the atrium4     
,hermas was entertaining ,libanius and  
,athenais in the banquet-hall4 ,when the
 visit of the ,presbyter was announced1 
the young master loosed a collar of gold
 and jewels from his neck1 and gave it  
to his scribe4  ,take this to ,john of  
,antioch1 and tell him it is a gift from
 his former pupil--as a token of        
remembrance1 or to spend for the poor of
 the city4 ,i will always send him what 
he wants1 but it is idle for us to talk 
together any more4 ,i do not understand 
what he says4 ,i have not gone to the   
temple1 nor offered sacrifice1 nor      
denied his teaching4 ,i have simply     
forgotten4 ,i do not think about those  
things any longer4 ,i am only living4 ,a
 happy man wishes him all happiness and 
farewell4  ,but ,john let the golden    

collar fall on the marble floor4 ,tell  
your master that we shall talk together 
again1 after all1 said he1 as he passed 
sadly out of the hall4  ,the love of    
,athenais and ,hermas was like a tiny   
rivulet that sinks out of sight in a    
cavern1 but emerges again as a bright   
and brimming stream4 ,the careless      
comradery of childhood was mysteriously 
changed into a complete companionship4  
,when ,athenais entered the ,house of   
the ,golden ,pillars as a bride1 all the
 music of life came with her4 ,hermas   
called the feast of her welcome the     
banquet of the full chord4 ,day after   
day1 night after night1 week after week1
 month after month1 the bliss of the    
home unfolded like a rose of a thousand 
leaves4 ,when a child came to them1 a   
strong1 beautiful boy1 worthy to be the 
heir of such a house1 the heart of the  
rose was filled with overflowing        
fragrance4 ,happiness was heaped upon   
happiness4 ,every wish brought its own  
accomplishment4 ,wealth1 honour1 beauty1

 peace1 love--it was an abundance of    
felicity so great that the soul of      
,hermas could hardly contain it4        
,strangely enough1 it began to press    
upon him1 to trouble him with the very  
excess of joy4 ,he felt as if there were
 something yet needed to complete and   
secure it all4 ,there was an urgency    
within him1 a longing to find some      
outlet for his feelings1 he knew not    
how--some expression and culmination of 
his happiness1 he knew not what4  ,under
 his joyous demeanour a secret fire of  
restlessness began to burn--an          
expectancy of something yet to come     
which should put the touch of perfection
 on his life1 ,he spoke of it to        
,athenais1 as they sat together1 one    
summer evening1 in a bower of jasmine1  
with their boy playing at their feet4   
,there had been music in the garden2 but
 now the singers and lute-players had   
withdrawn1 leaving the master and       
mistress alone in the lingering         
twilight1 tremulous with inarticulate   

melody of unseen birds4 ,there was a    
secret voice in the hour seeking vainly 
for utterance--a word waiting to be     
spoken at the centre of the charm4  ,how
 deep is our happiness1 my beloved6 said
 ,hermas2 deeper than the sea that      
slumbers yonder1 below the city4 ,and   
yet ,i feel it is not quite full and    
perfect4 ,there is a depth of joy that  
we have not yet known--a repose of      
happiness that is still beyond us4 ,what
 is it8 ,i have no superstitious fears1 
like the king who cast his signet-ring  
into the sea because he dreaded that    
some secret vengeance would fall on his 
unbroken good fortune4 ,that was an idle
 terror4 ,but there is something that   
oppresses me like an invisible burden4  
,there is something still undone1       
unspoken1 unfelt--something that we need
 to complete everything4 ,have you not  
felt it1 too8 ,can you not lead me to   
it8  ,yes1 she answered1 lifting her    
eyes to his face2 ,i1 too1 have felt it1
 ,hermas1 this burden1 this need1 this  

unsatisfied longing4 ,i think ,i know   
what it means4 ,it is gratitude--the    
language of the heart1 the music of     
happiness4 ,there is no perfect joy     
without gratitude4 ,but we have never   
learned it1 and the want of it troubles 
us4 ,it is like being dumb with a heart 
full of love4 ,we must find the word for
 it1 and say it together4 ,then we shall
 be perfectly joined in perfect joy4    
,come1 my dear lord1 let us take the boy
 with us1 and give thanks4  ,hermas     
lifted the child in his arms1 and turned
 with ,athenais into the depth of the   
garden4 ,there was a dismantled shrine  
of some forgotten fashion of worship    
half hidden among the luxuriant flowers4
 ,a fallen image lay beside it1 face    
downward in the grass4 ,they stood      
there1 hand in hand1 the boy drowsily   
resting on his father's shoulder--a     
threefold harmony of strength and beauty
 and innocence4  ,silently the roseate  
light caressed the tall spires of the   
cypress-trees2 silently the shadows     

gathered at their feet2 silently the    
crystal stars looked out from the       
deepening arch of heaven4 ,the very     
breath of being paused4 ,it was the hour
 of culmination1 the supreme moment of  
felicity waiting for its crown4 ,the    
tones of ,hermas were clear and low as  
he began1 half speaking and half        
chanting1 in the rhythm of an ancient   
song3  ,fair is the world1 the sea1 the 
sky1 the double kingdom of day and      
night1 in the glow of morning1 in the   
shadow of evening1 and under the        
dripping light of stars4  ,fairer still 
is life in our breasts1 with its        
manifold music and meaning1 with its    
wonder of seeing and hearing and feeling
 and knowing and being4  ,fairer and    
still more fair is love1 that draws us  
together1 mingles our lives in its flow1
 and bears them along like a river1     
strong and clear and swift1 rejecting   
the stars in its bosom4  ,wide is our   
world2 we are rich2 we have all things4 
,life is abundant within us--a          

measureless deep4 ,deepest of all is our
 love1 and it longs to speak4  ,come1   
thou final word6 ,come1 thou crown of   
speech6 ,come1 thou charm of peace6     
,open the gates of our hearts4 ,lift the
 weight of our joy and bear it upward4  
,for all good gifts1 for all perfect    
gifts1 for love1 for life1 for the      
world1 we praise1 we bless1 we thank--  
,as a soaring bird1 struck by an arrow1 
falls headlong from the sky1 so the song
 of ,hermas fell4 ,at the end of his    
flight of gratitude there was nothing--a
 blank1 a hollow space4  ,he looked for 
a face1 and saw a void4 ,he sought for a
 hand1 and clasped vacancy4 ,his heart  
was throbbing and swelling with passion2
 the bell swung to and fro within him1  
beating from side to side as if it would
 burst2 but not a single note came from 
it4 ,all the fulness of his feeling1    
that had risen upward like a living     
fountain1 fell back from the empty sky1 
as cold as snow1 as hard as hail1 frozen
 and dead4 ,there was no meaning in his 

happiness4 ,no one had sent it to him4  
,there was no one to thank for it4 ,his 
felicity was a closed circle1 a wall of 
eternal ice4  ,let us go back1 he said  
sadly to ,athenais2 the child is heavy  
upon my shoulder4 ,we will lay him to   
sleep1 and go into the library4 ,the air
 grows chilly4 ,we were mistaken4 ,the  
gratitude of life is only a dream4      
,there is no one to thank4  ,and in the 
garden it was already night4     ,v     
,,riches ,,without ,,rest   ,,no outward
 change came to the ,house of the       
,golden ,pillars4 ,everything moved as  
smoothly1 as delicately1 as             
prosperously1 as before4 ,but inwardly  
there was a subtle1 inexplicable        
transformation4 ,a vague discontent--a  
final and inevitable sense of           
incompleteness1 overshadowed existence  
from that night when ,hermas realized   
that his joy could never go beyond      
itself4  ,the next morning the old man  
whom he had seen in the ,grove of       
,daphne1 but never since1 appeared      

mysteriously at the door of the house1  
as if he had been sent for1 and entered1
 to dwell there like an invited guest4  
,hermas could not but make him welcome1 
and at first he tried to regard him with
 reverence and affection as the one     
through whom fortune had come4 ,but it  
was impossible4 ,there was a chill in   
the inscrutable smile of ,marcion1 as he
 called himself1 that seemed to mock at 
reverence4 ,he was in the house as one  
watching a strange experiment--tranquil1
 interested1 ready to supply anything   
that might be needed for its completion1
 but thoroughly indifferent to the      
feelings of the subject2 an anatomist of
 life1 looking curiously to see how long
 it would continue1 and how it would    
behave1 after the heart had been        
removed4  ,in his presence ,hermas was  
conscious of a certain irritation1 a    
resentful anger against the calm1 frigid
 scrutiny of the eyes that followed him 
everywhere1 like a pair of spies1       
peering out over the smiling mouth and  

the long white beard4  ,why do you look 
at me so curiously8 asked ,hermas1 one  
morning1 as they sat together in the    
library4 ,do you see anything strange in
 me8  ,no1 answered ,marcion2 something 
familiar4  ,and what is that8  ,a       
singular likeness to a discontented     
young man that ,i met some years ago in 
the ,grove of ,daphne4  ,but why should 
that interest you8 ,surely it was to be 
expected4  ,a thing that we expect often
 surprises us when we see it4 ,besides1 
my curiosity is piqued4 ,i suspect you  
of keeping a secret from me4  ,you are  
jesting with me4 ,there is nothing in my
 life that you do not know4 ,what is the
 secret8  ,nothing more than the wish to
 have one4 ,you are growing tired of    
your bargain4 ,the game wearies you4    
,that is foolish4 ,do you want to try a 
new part8  ,the question was like a     
mirror upon which one comes suddenly in 
a half-lighted room1 ,a quick           
illumination falls on it1 and the       
passer-by is startled by the look of his

 own face4  ,you are right1 said        
,hermas4 ,i am tired4 ,we have been     
going on stupidly in this house1 as if  
nothing were possible but what my father
 had done before me4 ,there is nothing  
original in being rich1 and well fed1   
and well dressed4 ,thousands of men have
 tried it1 and have not been very well  
satisfied4 ,let us do something new4    
,let us make a mark in the world4  ,it  
is well said1 nodded the old man2 you   
are speaking again like a man after my  
own heart4 ,there is no folly but the   
loss of an opportunity to enjoy a new   
sensation4  ,from that day ,hermas      
seemed to be possessed with a perpetual 
haste1 an uneasiness that left him no   
repose4 ,the summit of life had been    
attained1 the highest possible point of 
felicity4 ,henceforward the course could
 only be at a level--perhaps downward4  
,it might be brief2 at the best it could
 not be very long4 ,it was madness to   
lose a day1 an hour4 ,that would be the 
only fatal mistake3 to forfeit anything 

of the bargain that he had made4 ,he    
would have it1 and hold it1 and enjoy it
 all to the full4 ,the world might have 
nothing better to give than it had      
already given2 but surely it had many   
things that were new to bestow upon him1
 and ,marcion should help him to find   
them4  ,under his learned counsel the   
,house of the ,golden ,pillars took on a
 new magnificence4 ,artists were brought
 from ,corinth and ,rome and ,byzantium 
to adorn it with splendour4 ,its fame   
glittered around the world4 ,banquets of
 incredible luxury drew the most        
celebrated guests into its triclinium1  
and filled them with envious admiration4
 ,the bees swarmed and buzzed about the 
golden hive4 ,the human insects1        
gorgeous moths of pleasure and greedy   
flies of appetite1 parasites and        
flatterers and crowds of inquisitive    
idlers1 danced and fluttered in the     
dazzling light that surrounded ,hermas4 
,everything that he touched prospered4  
,he bought a tract of land in the       

,caucasus1 and emeralds were discovered 
among the mountains4 ,he sent a fleet of
 wheat-ships to ,italy1 and the price of
 grain doubled while it was on the way4 
,he sought political favour with the    
emperor1 and was rewarded with the      
governorship of the city4 ,his name was 
a word to conjure with4  ,the beauty of 
,athenais lost nothing with the passing 
seasons1 but grew more perfect1 even    
under the inexplicable shade of         
dissatisfaction that sometimes veiled it
 as a translucent cloud that passes     
before the full moon4 ,fair as the wife 
of ,hermas was a proverb in ,antioch2   
and soon men began to add to it1        
,beautiful as the son of ,hermas2 for   
the child developed swiftly in that     
favouring clime4 ,at nine years of age  
he was straight and strong1 firm of limb
 and clear of eye4 ,his brown head was  
on a level with his father's heart4 ,he 
was the jewel of the ,house of the      
,golden ,pillars2 the pride of ,hermas1 
the new ,fortunatus4  ,that year another

 drop of success fell into his brimming 
cup4 ,his black ,numidian horses1 which 
he had been training for three years for
 the world-renowned chariot-races of    
,antioch1 won the victory over a score  
of rivals4 ,hermas received the prize   
carelessly from the judge's hands1 and  
turned to drive once more around the    
circus1 to show himself to the people4  
,he lifted the eager boy into the       
chariot beside him to share his triumph4
  ,here1 indeed1 was the glory of his   
life--this matchless son1 his brighter  
counterpart carved in breathing ivory1  
touching his arm1 and balancing himself 
proudly on the swaying floor of the     
chariot4 ,as the horses pranced around  
the ring1 a great shout of applause     
filled the amphitheatre1 and thousands  
of spectators waved their salutations of
 praise3 ,hail1 fortunate ,hermas1      
master of success6 ,hail1 little        
,hermas1 prince of good luck6  ,the     
sudden tempest of acclamation1 the swift
 fluttering of innumerable garments in  

the air1 startled the horses4 ,they     
dashed violently forward1 and plunged   
upon the bits4 ,the left rein broke4    
,they swerved to the right1 swinging the
 chariot sideways with a grating noise1 
and dashing it against the stone parapet
 of the arena4 ,in an instant the wheel 
was shattered4 ,the axle struck the     
ground1 and the chariot was dragged     
onward1 rocking and staggering4  ,by a  
strenuous effort ,hermas kept his place 
on the frail platform1 clinging to the  
unbroken rein4 ,but the boy was tossed  
lightly from his side at the first      
shock4 ,his head struck the wall4 ,and  
when ,hermas turned to look for him1 he 
was lying like a broken flower on the   
sand4     ,,vi  ,,great ,,fear ,,and    
,,recovered ,,joy   ,,they carried the  
boy in a litter to the ,house of the    
,golden ,pillars1 summoning the most    
skilful physician of ,antioch to attend 
him4 ,for hours the child was as quiet  
as death4 ,hermas watched the white     
eyelids1 folded close like lily-buds at 

night1 even as one watches for the      
morning4 ,at last they opened2 but the  
fire of fever was burning in the eyes1  
and the lips were moving in a wild      
delirium4  ,hour after hour that sweet  
childish voice rang through the halls   
and chambers of the splendid1 helpless  
house1 now rising in shrill calls of    
distress and senseless laughter1 now    
sinking in weariness and dull moaning4  
,the stars waxed and waned2 the sun rose
 and set2 the roses bloomed and fell in 
the garden1 the birds sang and slept    
among the jasmine-bowers4 ,but in the   
heart of ,hermas there was no song1 no  
bloom1 no light--only speechless        
anguish1 and a certain fearful          
looking-for of desolation4  ,he was like
 a man in a nightmare4 ,he saw the      
shapeless terror that was moving toward 
him1 but he was impotent to stay or to  
escape it4 ,he had done all that he     
could4 ,there was nothing left but to   
wait4  ,he paced to and fro1 now        
hurrying to the boy's bed as if he could

 not bear to be away from it1 now       
turning back as if he could not endure  
to be near it4 ,the people of the house1
 even ,athenais1 feared to speak to him1
 there was something so vacant and      
desperate in his face4  ,at nightfall1  
on the second of those eternal days1 he 
shut himself in the library4 ,the       
unfilled lamp had gone out1 leaving a   
trail of smoke in the air4 ,the sprigs  
of mignonette and rosemary1 with which  
the room was sprinkled every day1 were  
unrenewed1 and scented the gloom with a 
close odor of decay4 ,a costly          
manuscript of ,theocritus was tumbled in
 disorder on the floor4 ,hermas sank    
into a chair like a man in whom the very
 spring of being is broken4 ,through the
 darkness some one drew near4 ,he did   
not even lift his head4 ,a hand touched 
him2 a soft arm was laid over his       
shoulders4 ,it was ,athenais1 kneeling  
beside him and speaking very low3       
,hermas--it is almost over--the child6  
,his voice grows weaker hour by hour4   

,he moans and calls for some one to help
 him2 then he laughs4 ,it breaks my     
heart4 ,he has just fallen asleep4 ,the 
moon is rising now4 ,unless a change    
comes he cannot last till sunrise4 ,is  
there nothing we can do8 ,is there no   
power that can save him8 ,is there no   
one to pity us and spare us8 ,let us    
call1 let us beg for compassion and     
help2 let us pray for his life6  ,yes2  
that was what he wanted--that was the   
only thing that could bring relief3 to  
pray2 to pour out his sorrow somewhere2 
to find a greater strength than his own1
 and cling to it and plead for mercy and
 help4 ,to leave that undone was to be  
false to his manhood2 it was to be no   
better than the dumb beasts when their  
young perish4 ,how could he let his boy 
suffer and die1 without an effort1 a    
cry1 a prayer8  ,he sank on his knees   
beside ,athenais4  ,out of the          
depths--out of the depths we call for   
pity4 ,the light of our eyes is         
fading--the child is dying4 ,oh1 the    

child1 the child6 ,spare the child's    
life1 thou merciful--  ,not a word2 only
 that deathly blank4 ,the hands of      
,hermas1 stretched out in supplication1 
touched the marble table4 ,he felt the  
cool hardness of the polished stone     
beneath his fingers4 ,a book1 dislodged 
by his touch1 fell rustling to the      
floor4 ,through the open door1 faint and
 far off1 came the footsteps of the     
servants1 moving cautiously4 ,the heart 
of ,hermas was like a lump of ice in his
 bosom4 ,he rose slowly to his feet1    
lifting ,athenais with him4  ,it is in  
vain1 he said2 there is nothing for us  
to do4 ,long ago ,i knew something4 ,i  
think it would have helped us4 ,but ,i  
have forgotten it4 ,it is all gone4 ,but
 ,i would give all that ,i have1 if ,i  
could bring it back again now1 at this  
hour1 in this time of our bitter        
trouble4  ,a slave entered the room     
while he was speaking1 and approached   
hesitatingly4  ,master1 he said1 ,john  
of ,antioch1 whom we were forbidden to  

admit to the house1 has come again4 ,he 
would take no denial4 ,even now he waits
 in the peristyle2 and the old man      
,marcion is with him1 seeking to turn   
him away4  ,come1 said ,hermas to his   
wife1 let us go to him2 for ,i think ,i 
see the beginning of a way that may lead
 us out of this dreadful darkness4  ,in 
the central hall the two men were       
standing2 ,marcion1 with disdainful eyes
 and sneering lips1 taunting the        
unbidden guest to depart2 ,john silent1 
quiet1 patient1 while the wondering     
slaves looked on in dismay4 ,he lifted  
his searching gaze to the haggard face  
of ,hermas4  ,my son1 ,i knew that ,i   
should see you again1 even though you   
did not send for me4 ,i have come to you
 because ,i have heard that you are in  
trouble4  ,it is true1 answered ,hermas1
 passionately2 we are in trouble1       
desperate trouble1 trouble accursed4    
,our child is dying4 ,we are poor1 we   
are destitute1 we are afflicted4 ,in all
 this house1 in all the world1 there is 

no one that can help us4 ,i knew        
something long ago1 when ,i was with    
you1--a word1 a name1--in which we might
 have found hope4 ,but ,i have lost it4 
,i gave it to this man4 ,he has taken it
 away from me forever4  ,he pointed to  
,marcion4 ,the old man's lips curled    
scornfully4 ,a word1 a name6 he sneered4
 ,what is that1 ,o most wise and holy   
,presbyter8 ,a thing of air1 an unreal  
thing that men make to describe their   
own dreams and fancies4 ,who would go   
about to rob any one of such a thing as 
that8 ,it is a prize that only a fool   
would think of taking4 ,besides1 the    
young man parted with it of his own free
 will4 ,he bargained with me cleverly4  
,i promised him wealth and pleasure and 
fame4 ,what did he give in return8 ,an  
empty name1 which was a burden--        
,servant of demons1 be still6 ,the voice
 of ,john rang clear1 like a trumpet1   
through the hall4 ,there is a name which
 none shall dare to take in vain4 ,there
 is a name which none can lose without  

being lost4 ,there is a name at which   
the devils tremble4 ,depart quickly1    
before ,i speak it6  ,marcion had shrunk
 into the shadow of one of the pillars4 
,a bright lamp near him tottered on its 
pedestal and fell with a crash4 ,in the 
confusion he vanished1 as noiselessly as
 a shade4  ,john turned to ,hermas1 and 
his tone softened as he said3 ,my son1  
you have sinned deeper than you know4   
,the word with which you parted so      
lightly is the key-word of all life and 
joy and peace4 ,without it the world has
 no meaning1 and existence no rest1 and 
death no refuge4 ,it is the word that   
purifies love1 and comforts grief1 and  
keeps hope alive forever4 ,it is the    
most precious thing that ever ear has   
heard1 or mind has known1 or heart has  
conceived4 ,it is the name of ,him who  
has given us life and breath and all    
things richly to enjoy2 the name of ,him
 who1 though we may forget ,him1 never  
forgets us2 the name of ,him who pities 
us as you pity your suffering child2 the

 name of ,him who1 though we wander far 
from ,him1 seeks us in the wilderness1  
and sent ,his ,son1 even as ,his ,son   
has sent me this night1 to breathe again
 that forgotten name in the heart that  
is perishing without it4 ,listen1 my    
son1 listen with all your soul to the   
blessed name of ,god our ,father4  ,the 
cold agony in the breast of ,hermas     
dissolved like a fragment of ice that   
melts in the summer sea4 ,a sense of    
sweet release spread through him from   
head to foot4 ,the lost was found4 ,the 
dew of a divine peace fell on his       
parched soul1 and the withering flower  
of human love lifted its head again4    
,the light of a new hope shone on his   
face4 ,he stood upright1 and lifted his 
hands high toward heaven4  ,out of the  
depths have ,i cried unto ,thee1 ,o     
,lord6 ,o my ,god1 be merciful to me1   
for my soul trusteth in ,thee4 ,my ,god1
 ,thou hast given2 take not ,thy gift   
away from me1 ,o my ,god6 ,spare the    
life of this my child1 ,o ,thou ,god1 my

 ,father1 my ,father6  ,a deep hush     
followed the cry4 ,listen6 whispered    
,athenais1 breathlessly4  ,was it an    
echo8 ,it could not be1 for it came     
again--the voice of the child1 clear and
 low1 waking from sleep1 and calling3   
,my father1 my father6