,a ,,pickle ,,for ,,the ,,knowing ,,ones1 ,,by ,,lord ,,timothy ,,dexter1 ,,with ,,an ,introductory ,preface1 ,,by ,a ,,distinguished ,,citizen ,,of ,,ould ,,newberry4 ,,fourth ,,edition4 ,,newburyport3 ,,blanchard ,,sargent4 #ahdh4 ,illustration3 ,lord ,dexter and his ,dog4 ,,preface4 ,timothy ,dexter1 the author of the following curious and unique production1 entitled ,a ,pickle for the ,knowing ,ones1 which is here re-printed verbatim et spellatim from the original edition1 was born in ,malden1 ,january #bb1 #agdg4 ,having served an apprenticeship with a leather dresser1 he commenced business in ,newburyport shortly after he was one and twenty1 and being industrious and economical1 he soon found himself in good circumstances4 ,in the year #aggj he married1 and receiving a considerable amount of money with his wife1 he was thus put in possession of a moderate fortune4 ,in #aggf he had for one of his apprentices the no less eccentric1 and afterwards the no less noted ,jonathan ,plumer1 jun41 travelling preacher1 physician and poet1 as he was accustomed to style himself1 and of whom we shall hereafter speak4 ,in addition to his regular business of selling leather breeches1 gloves soutabel for wimen's ware1 c4 he engaged in commercial speculations1 and in various kinds of business1 and was unusually successful4 ,he traded with merchants and speculators in the then ,province of ,maine1 was engaged to some extent in the ,west ,india trade4 ,he also purchased a large amount of what were called ,state securities1 which were eventually redeemed at prices far exceeding their original cost4 ,some of his speculations in whalebone and warming pans are mentioned by himself on page #bc of this work4 ,thus in various ways he added to his property1 and in a few years he became a wealthy man4 ,with wealth came the desire of distinction1 and as his vanity was inordinate he spared no expence in obtaining the notoriety he sought4 ,in the first place he purchased an elegant house in ,high ,street1 ,newburyport1 and embellished it in his peculiar way4 ,minarets surmounted with golden balls were placed on the roof1 a large gilt eagle was placed on the top1 and a great variety of other ornaments4 ,in front of his house and land he caused to be erected between forty and fifty wooden statues1 full length and larger than life4 ,the principal arch stood directly in front of his door1 and on this stood the figures of ,washington1 ,adams and ,jefferson4 ,there were also the statues of ,william ,pitt1 ,franklin1 ,bonaparte1 ,george ,,iv1 ,lord ,nelson1 ,gen4 ,morgan1 ,cornplanter1 an ,indian ,chief1 ,jack ,tar1 ,traveling ,preacher1 ,maternal ,affection1 ,two ,grenadiers1 ,four ,lions and one ,lamb1 and conspicuous among them were two images of ,dexter himself1 one of which held a label with the inscription ,i am the first in the ,east1 the first in the ,west1 and the greatest philosopher in the ,western world4 ,in order that the interior of his house should correspond with the exterior1 the most costly furniture was imported from ,france1 and the walls hung with paintings1 brought from ,holland and other parts of ,europe4 ,a library was also provided1 but how large or valuable we are not able to say4 ,an elegant coach with a span of beautiful cream colored horses was procured1 on which was painted his coat of arms1 with the baronial supporters1 after the manner of the ,english nobility4 ,with this equipage he took the title of ,lord ,dexter1 because1 as he said1 it was the voice of the people at ,large4 ,he was sometimes called the ,marquis of ,newburyport4 ,having completed the embelishments of his house and gardens1 ,lord ,dexter busied himself in receiving the visits of the crowds1 who were drawn by curiosity to his house4 ,his gardens were thrown open to their inspection1 and he was liberal to all4 ,the fame of his hospitality attracted as many visitors as the fame of his images4 ,to gratify his vanity he selected in imitation of ,european princes1 a poet laureate4 ,this was no other than his former apprentice1 ,jonathan ,plumer1 jun41 a native of ,newbury4 ,they had once been associated as master and apprentice1 but now stood in the relation of patron and poet4 ,from the auto-biography of ,plumer a very curious and scarce production of #bdd pages1 the following extract is taken1 which may serve to give some idea of the versatility of his genius4--,i had1 says he1 some practice as a physician1 and earned something with my pen1 but for several years was obliged chiefly to follow various kinds of business accounted less honorable1 viz3 ,farming1 repeating select passages from authors1 selling halibut1 sawing wood1 selling books and ballads in the streets1 serving as post boy1 filling beds with straw and wheeling them to the owners thereof1 collecting rags1 c4 ,he had previously served one or two campaigns as a soldier1 and on his return from the wars he taught school for some time in ,new ,hampshire4 ,the ballads1 which he hawked about1 were generally his own composition4 ,every horrid accident1 bloody murder1 a shipwreck1 or any other dreadful catastrophe1 was sure to be followed by a statement of the facts1 a sermon and a poem4 ,in the capacity of ballad maker and monger he attracted the notice of ,dexter1 in whose service he entered for a small salary as poet laureate4 ,he wore a livery1 consisting of a black frock coat1 adorned with stars and fringes1 a cocked hat and black breeches4 ,he was crowned in the garden of his patron with a wreath of parsley1 instead of laurel1 but the ceremony was interrupted before its completion by a mob of boys1 and both patron and poet put to flight4 ,one specimen of his laudatory verses may be seen on page #bi of this work1 which will give the reader some idea of his qualifications for the office to which he was elected4 ,how well he was satisfied with the praises of the poet we are not informed1 but feeling probably that no person but himself could do justice to the ideas1 which he wished to present to the public1 he commenced writing for the press4 ,several of these effusions were printed in the newspapers4--,the larger part of them written at different times are embodied in the present work1 a large edition of which was published by himself and given away4 ,in this edition not a stop or a mark was used in any line of his writings1 but in the second edition one entire page was filled with stops and marks1 with a recommendation from the author to his readers1 to use them where they were wanted in the work1 or in his own language1 to peper and soolt it as they pleased4 ,dexter had two children1 ,samuel and ,nancy1 neither of whom was distinguished for strength of intellect4 ,the son was a dissipated prodigal and died young4 ,the daughter1 of whom mention is made by the father in the following pages1 was married to ,abraham ,bishop of ,new ,haven1 who we are informed treated her with neglect and cruelty4 ,a divorce followed and she became intemperate1 lost what little reason she had1 and is still living1 a wretched object4 ,lord ,dexter himself1 if we may judge from his own writings and from what we have heard1 was not happy in his domestic relations4 ,he complains much of his wife1 whom he calls the gost1 and charges the cause of his separation from her for thirteen years to his son ,bishop4 ,his own temper was irascible1 and several stories are told of the excesses1 into which it would sometimes lead him4 ,he ordered his painter1 ,mr4 ,babson1 to place the word ,constitution on the scroll in the hand of the figure of ,jefferson1 which the latter1 knowing the artist designed it to represent the ,declaration of ,independence1 refused to do4 ,dexter was so incensed by this refusal1 that he went into the house1 and brought out a pistol1 which he deliberately fired at the painter2 but he was a poor shot1 and the ball missing its object1 entered the side of the house4 ,at another time1 seeing a countryman1 as he thought1 rather impudently viewing his premises1 he ordered his son to fire at the stranger4 ,he refused to do so1 when the father threatened to shoot him unless he complied4 ,his son then obeyed4 ,the stranger escaped unhurt1 but entered a complaint1 and ,lord ,timothy was1 in consequence1 sentenced to the house of correction for several months4 ,he went thither in his own coach1 priding himself on being the first man who had been to the county house in his own carriage1 drawn by two splendid horses4 ,he soon grew tired1 however1 of his confinement1 and procured a release1 which it was said1 cost him a thousand dollars4 ,the individual1 who exercised most influence over ,dexter was a negro woman1 named ,lucy ,lancaster1 or as she was commonly called ,black ,luce1 a woman of uncommon strength of mind1 great shrewdness and remarkable for her powers of memory and knowledge of human nature1 but as wicked as she was sagacious4 ,she thought him an honest man1 and not so deficient in intellect as many people supposed1 and attributed his eccentricities to an excess of animal spirits4--,this was probably to some extent true1 though it is certain that other spirits contributed in no small degree to the excesses of his temper and the peculiarities of his taste4 ,he was addicted to drunkenness1 and with his son and other companions1 kept up his revels in the best apartments of his house1 by which in a very short time1 all his costly furniture was ruined1 or very much injured4 ,not insensible that he must share the common lot1 ,dexter1 many years before his death1 prepared himself a tomb4 ,it was the basement story of his summer-house1 magnificently fitted1 and open to the light of day4 ,his coffin1 made of the best mahogany which he could find1 superbly lined1 and adorned with silver handles1 he kept in a room of the house1 and took great pleasure in exhibiting it to visitors--at other times it was locked up4 ,soon after his death apparatus was prepared1 ,dexter got up a mock funeral1 which with all but his family and a few associates was to pass as real4 ,various people in the town were invited by card1 who came and found the family clad in mourning1 and preparations for the funeral going forward4 ,the burial service was read by a wag1 who then pronounced a bombastic eulogy upon the deceased4 ,the mourners moved in procession to the tomb in the garden1 the coffin was deposited1 and they returned to the large hall1 where a sumptuous entertainment was provided4 ,while the feast was going on1 a loud noise attracted the guests to the kitchen1 where they beheld the arisen ,lord caning his wife for not having shed a tear during the ceremony6 ,he entered the hall with the astonished mourners1 in high spirits1 joined in the rout1 threw money from the window to the crowd of boys1 and expressed his satisfaction with every thing except the indifference of his wife1 and the silence of the bells4 ,lord ,dexter died at his house1 on the #bfth of ,october1 #ahjf1 in his #fjth year1 and by direction of the ,board of ,health1 his remains were interred in the common burying place4 ,his grave is marked by a simple stone4 ,the ,dexter mansion1 is yet standing1 and is a very fine tenement1 but retains few traces of the whims of its late proprietor4 ,of the images1 upwards of forty in number1 only the three ,presidents now remain1 the others having been cast down by the resistless hand of time4 ,some of them were blown down in the great gale of ,september1 #ahae1 and were sold at auction4 ,the cut fronting the ,biography gives a very excellent and faithful representation of ,lord ,dexter in his walking habits1 and the likeness of the dog is equally perfect4 ,the dog was perfectly black and the skin as entirely free from hair as that of an elephant4 ,he differed as much from other dogs as did his master and his friend1 the poet1 differ from other people4 ,the likenesses of all three were drawn with great accuracy by ,james ,aiken1 ,esq4 now a resident of ,philadelphia1 and could the patron and the poet be seen in proper person1 dressed in the costume of that day1 they would be objects of great curiosity4 ,but they are gone1 and of each it may be truly said1 ,we ne'er shall look upon his like again4 ,illustration3 ,view of ,lord ,dexter's ,mansion1 ,high ,street1 ,newburyport1 #ahjf4 ,a ,,pickle ,,for ,,the ,,knowing ,,ones4 ,to mankind at ,large the time is ,com at ,last the grat day of ,regoising what is that why ,i will tell you thous three kings is ,rased ,rased you meane should know ,rased on the first ,royal ,arch in the world olmost ,not quite but very hiw up upon so thay are good mark to be scene so the womans ,lik to see the frount and all people ,loves to see them as the quakers will ,com and peape slyly and feele glad and say houe the doue frind father ,jorge washeton is in the senter king ,addoms is at the ,rite hand the present king at the ,left hand father gorge with his hat on the other hats of the middel king with his sword king ,addoms with his ,cane in a grand poster ,adtetoude turning his fass towards the first king as if they was on sum politicks king our present king he is stands hearing being younger and very deafe in short being one grat felosfer ,looks well ,east west and ,north south deafe very deafe the god of ,natur has dun very much for our present king and all our former ones they are all good ,i want them to ,live for ,ever and ,i beleave thay will it is hard work to be ,a king--,i say it is hardar than tilling the ground ,i know it is for ,i find it is hard work to be ,a ,lord ,i dont desier the sound but to pleas the peopel at ,large ,let it gou to brak the way it dus for ,asort ment to help a good ,lafe to ,cour the sick spleney goutey dul frames ,lik my selfe with the goute and so on make merry a ,chealy ,christen is for me only be onnest ,no matter what they worshep son moune or stars or there wife or miss if onnest ,live forever money wont gitt thous figers so fast as ,i wish ,i have sent to ,leg horn for many mr bourr is one ,amonks others ,i sent in the grand ,crecham thous #c kings ,are plane white colow at present the ,royal ,arch figers cost #ci pound wate silver the hiest ,councaton order in the world so it is sade by the knowing one ,i have only #d ,lions #a ,lam up the spred ,eagel has bin up #c years upon the ,coupelay ,i have #ac billors front in strat ,row for #ac states when we begun #c in the ,rear #ae foot hie #d more on the grass see #b the same hath at the ,rite of the grand ,arch #b at the left wing #ae foot hie the ,arch #ag foot hie the my hous is #c sorey upwards of #bij feet round the hous ,nater has formed the ground ,eaquel to what you would wish for the ,art by man ,eaquel to a ,solomun the onerabel ,jonathan ,jackson one of the first in this ,country for tast borne ,a grat man by ,nater then the best ,lurning what sot me fored for my plan having so gran spot the hool of the world ,cant ,excead this to thous that dont know would think ,i was ,like halfe the world ,a ,lier ,i have traveled good deale but old steady men sayeth it is the first that it is the first best in this ,contry others ,contrey ,i tell you this the trouth that ,none of you grat men wodent be ,a frunted at my preseadens ,i spare ,now ,cost in the work ,i have the tempel of ,reason in my garding #c years past with a toume under it on the ,eage of the grass see it cost #ih gineys besides the ,coffen panted whit in side and out side tuched with green ,nobel trimings uncommon ,lock so ,i can tak the kee in side and haye fier works in the toume pipes and tobacker ,a speaking trumpet and bibel to ,read sum good songs ,what is a presedent answer ,a king bonne partey the grate has as much power as ,a king and ort to have it is a massey he has for the good of mankind he has as much power as ,any king for grat ways back there must be ,a head sum whare or the peopel is ,lost ,lik wild gees when thay ,lous the gander two ,leged want ,a head if fore ,leged both #b ,leged fouls the ,name of presedent is to pleas the peopel at ,large the sound souts best ,now in the south give way to the ,north the ,north give way to the south or by by you will brake what falers be wise on keep the ,links to gether and if you cant ,a gree ,consoalated to ,a kingly power for you must keep together at the wost hear it ,labers ye les see there is so many men wants be the all offesers ,now sogers poor king ,every day wants ,a bone sum more then others the king cant ,live without the feald wee have had our turne grat good father ,addoms turne turne ,about ,rest ,easey you all will be pleased with the present king give time all did ,i say ,now but the magor part fore fifths at least4 ,,timothy ,,dexter ,frinds hear me #b granadears goss up in #bj days fourder frinds ,i will tell the ,a tipe of man kind what is that #ce or #cf years gone ,a town caled ,noubry all won the ,younited states ,noubry peopel kept to gether quiet till the ,larned groed strong the farmers was #ab out of #bj thay wanted to have the offesers in the ,contry the ,eaned in the see port wanted to have them there geering ,a ,rose groued warme fite thay wood in ,law thay went the ,jnrel ,cort to be sot of finely thay go there ,eands ,answered the see port caled ,newbury ,port #fjj ,eakers of ,land out of thirty thousand ,eakers of good ,land so much for mad peopel of ,larning makes them mad if thay had kept to gether they wood have bin the sekent town in this stat ,a bout halfe of boston ,now men mad to be in offess it hurts the peopel ot ,large ,like ,carying the ,innegent ,lam to the slarter ,now it would done to dewide the ,north from the south all won what ,i have ,leade down but now keep to gether it is ,like man and wife in troue ,love ,now guving death in the grander you will sous the glory ,i say keep to gether dont brak the ,chane ,renoue brotherle ,love ,never fade ,like my box in my garding be one grat familey give way to one ,a ,nother thous changes is the tide hie warter ,loue warte hie tids ,loue tids for my part ,i have ,liked all the kings all three all our broken marchants cant have beaths of proffett gone and till the ground goue to work is all that has bin to ,coleage goue with slipers and promis to pay and ,never pay only with ,a ,lye ,i gess #d fifths is ,coleage ,lant or devel ,lant or pretended to be onnest free masions but are to the ,contrey for give me for gessing ,i hope it is ,not so the ,leaned is for ,leovs ,littel fishes moses was but ,a man and ,aaron thay had sum devel like my selfe man is the same give him power ,i say the ,cloak ,cukement maters the worst of cheats we hant got ony ,n ,port wee are ,noted to be the first in the ,north sabed ,day is ,not halfe ,a ,nuf ,night meatens it maks work for the ,docters and ,nuses ,caaching ,could but them ,lives breed fast to mak up for them that dies poor creaters ,i pittey them so preast ,riden it is wickard to leave poor sols in to the grave all our minesters are imported ,very good men foull of ,love of ,crist ,i kep them ,a mit ,amen at present4 ,the yong man that doth most all my ,carving his work is much ,liked by our grat men ,i felt founney one day ,i thort ,i would ask sade young man whare he was bone he sade ,now whare what is all that ,now whare was your mother over shaderd ,i says my mother was if ,i was to gess ,no ,i tell in ,now town borne o on the water ,i says you beat me and so wee ,lafed and it shuk of the spleane shoue him ,a ,crows ,neast he can carve one ,a fine fellow--,i shold had all marbel if any bodey could to me the prise so ,i have sent for #h busts for kings and grat men and #a ,lion #b gray hounds ,i hope to hear in foue ,days to all onnest men ,,timothy ,,dexter4 mister printter ,i must goue sum fourder ,i have got one good pen my fortin has bin hard very hard that is ,i have hard ,noks on my head #d difrent times from ,a boy to this ,day twice taken up for dead two beating was a ,lawyer then he was mad be ,case the peopel at ,large ,declared me ,lord ,dexter king of ,chester this at my ,contrey seet #bf mils from ,n ,port my plase there is the fist from solt water to ,canedy----this ,lawyer that broused me was ,judg ,livermore son ,arther the same ,creater borid #bjj dolors sum monts be fore this then ,oaded me he beat his bene factter it has bin my ,luck to be yoused ten times wos by them ,i doue the most for ,i have ,lost first and ,last as much as ,a tun of silver grose my wife that was had #djj wut of silver ,abraham bishup that married my dafter ten years gone him shee sence then my son ,samuel ,l ,dexter upwards of seventeene thousand ,dolors the ,rest by hamsher ,col by ,rougs has gokbey sekkent handed preasts ,deakens gruntters whimers ,every foue minnets ,a sith or ,christ wee must be ,leave in ,crist o o ,jeases will save us ,i thinks sum times the saving solt smoak solt peater will in time be very dear if it is yous the more smoak or the preasts will be out of work ,littel ,like fister france ,i ,lade out ,a blan to have holerdays one ,day in ten #bd years gone ,i thort it would save the ,natision grat ,deale of money sir in one sentrey then the preasts wood have time to studdery then hamer ,down smartly make the sulffer smoak in their ,nostils under the ,cloak of bread wine the hipecricks ,cloven foots thay ,doue it to get power to ,lie and ,not be mistruested all wars mostly by the suf the broken marchents are fond of war for thay hant ,nothing to ,lous the minesters in all wars the ,case o god ,leave the ,divel out when it is all ,divel ,if you can bare the trouth ,i will tell the trouth man is the best ,annemel and the worst all men are more or less the ,divel but there is sit of ods sum halfe sum three qurters the other part beast of ,difrent kind of beasts sum one thing and sum a ,nother sum ,like a ,dog sum ,lik horses sum bare sum ,cat sum ,lion sum lik ouls sum a monkey sum wild ,cat sum ,lam sum ,a ,dove sum a hogg sum a oxe sum a snake ,i want ,desepons to be ,dun ,a way but thay wont ,never be as ,long os prist ,riden what ,doue the preast prech to the ,divel for all there hearaes old youn more or ,less the ,divel ,i ,liked to sade so ,divel preaches to ,divels ,rebouking sin keep it up up up sayeth the hipacrits mockers of god habits an ,costom is the ods ods maks the diffrence ,i sees god in all plases the god of ,nater in all things wee ,live and move in god he is the god of ,nateer all ,nater is god take one ,ellement from us one of the fore take the fier or the water or or ,eare or ,earth wee are gone so wee ,live in god ,now ,less us all be good children doue all things ,rite the strong must bare the ,infremiteys of the wicked shildren keep up tite ,laws ,draw the ,ranes ,littel harder stop theavs as fast as you can bad trade sheuuing ,nine ,numbers was ,rot in #bc owers when ,i had hold of the pen five owers #ce minnets ,a sort ment ,a sort ment is good in ,a shop-------- ,the preasts fixes there goods six days then thay open shop on sundays to sell there goods sum sets them of better than others bolerhed when a man is so week he wont doue for ,a ,lawyer mak a preast of him for week thing to goue with week things the blind to ,lead the blind so thay may fall into one ,dich and so thay goue throue the world darkiness but foue peopel have ,a pinion of there one ,not one in twenty as to this world goods and so it is as to the other world to ,inquire the way goue to a fryer our peopel ,a bout the same thing only call it sumthing ,else in ,rum of a king call it presedent but preasts have money to save sols ,i want to know what a sole is ,i wish to see one ,not a gizard ,i thinks the sole is the thinking part there is grat minds ,littel minds grat sols ,littel sols grat minds littel minds ,according to the hevdey boddeys that has the power of our boddeys the same mother and the same father and six children how thay will differ in ,looks complexions and axons sum for grat thing sum for littel things sumthing ,nouw ,i say ,i say my figers will pay ,intress money prove it first going over my brige sum more tole then helping the markett of the town ,leeting hoses tavern keepers costom the honner to the town my self4 ,,timothy ,,dexter4 one thing fourder ,i have bin convarted upwards #cj years quite ,resined for the day the grat day ,i wish the preast ,node as much as ,i think ,i doue there harts would ,leap up to glory to be so ,reader for the time of ,rejoisng to goue to goue to be maried to what a fine widow with hur lamp bourning the ,lamps trimed with glorey the shaking quickers after thay git convarted and there sins washed ,a way thay stay at home ,let theus goue unclene and so it is much so with me ,i stay at home praying for theavs and ,rougs to be saved ,day and ,night praying for siners poour creaters my hous keeper is in the dark was then bad ,crasey to be saved shee says shee has sind against the holey gost ,i have ,asked her what is shee says it is sumthing but cant find out way sends for the preast coms what is the mater gost gost ,dear sir the minester makes a prayer the gost went of mostly not all part stayed behind shee has bin ,crasey ,ever sence the prest cant ,lay the sepont houe many ,nick ,names three things have so sayeth the preacher ,amen ,amen see fath ,i du 99 99 99 99 99 ,noue mister printer sir ,i was at ,noue haven #g years and seven monts past at commencent ,degrees going on #dj boys was tuck degrees to doue good or ,not good the ole man with the hat on told them to suddey houeman ,nater walk as ,a band of brothers from that day ,i thort that all thous that was baot up to ,coleage the meaning was to git there ,liveing out of the ,labeer ,if the ,coleages was to continer one sentrey keep up the game recken the cost of ,all from there cradel to #bb years old all there fathers and gurd inands to ,lay out one houndred years intress intress upon intress atress gess at it cast it see houe many houndred thousand millons of ,dolors it would ,com to to mad ,rougs and theavs to plunder the ,labering man that sweats to git his bread good common ,laning is the best sum good books is best well under stoud be onnest dont be preast ,riden it is a cheat all be onnest in all things ,now feare ,let this goue as you find it my way speling houe is the strangest man ,t ,,dexter fourder mister for ,a minester to git the tone is a grat pint when ,i lived in hamsher one ,noue ,lit babstis babler sobed ,a way just fineshing his sermon he says o good ,lord ,i hop you will consider what foue hints ,i have given and ,i will cleare it up sum time hence ,i am much wore down now the wether being very worme to day ,less bray so went on fire fire brimstone grunting fithing and tried to cry snufel blow the sconks horne sum the old souls yong fouls sot to crying ,i tuck my hat and went out houe mankind women kind is imposed upon all over the world more or less by preast craft o for shame o for shame ,i pittey them be onnest doue as you would wish others to doue unto you in all things ,now fear of ,death ,amen ,t ,d'r fourder what difrent wous wee have of this world the other world two good women ,lived in ,a town whare ,i once lived one was sick of a consumson ,near ,death both belonged to the ,church very onnest only the well woman was week in wous thing says unto the sik woman ,i thinks you will see my housbon doue tell him ,i and my son ,a greus very well and wee are all well and the sow is piged and got seaven prittey pigs and fare you well sister this ,i beleave is serting troue so fare the well--,i shall com ,a gane in ,littel while and fourdermore ,i am for sum foue ,decephons but very foue fouer then ,deathe preast craft is very good for what to make old women gront and yong children cry and old fouls fling snort o ye's and brak up farimeys ,doun by untrouths ,lying and swaring to ,a ,lye stop ,i am a ,live old me ,i have heard your wickard stuff you have ingerd my frinds a plenty and if you dont stop ,i will call forth one ,abraham bishup to put ,niklos and all that trys to keep up ,lying if there should be any such stuf in the ,land ,church members pant to be fonnd of ,desepchon thay are perfect but if there is any put them with the tufe bourne the ,roubege pise on it or that feare ,not wind or filth go by the ,rackel breed and wos then tourd ,i ,like to sade ,now shite stink strong bread wine master botill houe is the boull a black man a frind to ,john mekel jentel man from ,a ,crows ,nest ,whare ,now where ass ,cole cole ass whare whare ,now whare o yefs sum whare deare oilen ,now the ,ingons ,lived there onle that ,cant be he was from hell whare his or was brother came from oyes oyess o yess a ,crows ,neast or orgen pouler ,down ,,from ,,the ,,museum ,,of ,,timothy ,,dexter1 ,,esq4 ,ime the first ,lord in the younited ,states of ,a mercary ,now of ,newburyport it is the voise of the peopel and ,i cant ,help it and so ,let it goue ,now as ,i must be ,lord there will foler many more ,lords prittey soune for it ,dont hurt ,a ,cat ,nor the mouse ,nor the son ,nor the water ,nor the ,eare then goue on all in ,easey ,now bons broaken all is well all in ,love ,now ,i be gin to ,lay the ,corner ston with grat ,remembrence of my father ,jorge ,washington the grate herow #ag sentreys past before we found so good ,a father to his children and ,now gone to ,rest ,now to shoue my ,love to my father and grate ,carieters ,i will shoue the world one of the grate ,wonders of the world in #ae months if ,now man mourders me in ,dors or out ,dors such ,a mouserum on ,earth will annonce ,o ,lord thou knowest to be troue fourder hear me good ,lord ,i am ,a goueing to ,let or shildren know ,now to see good ,lord what has bin in the world grat wase back to own fore fathers ,not old plimeth but stop to ,addom ,eve to shoue #de figers two ,leged and fore ,leged becose we ,cant ,doue well without fore ,legd in the first plase they are our foude in the ,next plase to make out ,dexters mouseum ,i wants #d ,lions to defend thous grat and mistry men from ,east to wist from ,north to ,south which ,now are at the plases ,rased the ,lam is ,not ,readey in short meater if ,agreabel ,i forme ,a good and peasabel govement on my ,land in ,newburyport ,compleat ,i take #c presedents hamsher govener all to ,noue ,york and the grate mister ,john ,jay is one1 that maks #b in that state the king of grat britton mister pitt ,roufus ,king ,cros over to france ,loues the #af and then the grate bonnepartey the grate and there segnetoure ,crow biddey--,i ,command pease and the gratest brotherly ,love and ,not fade be ,linked to gether with that best of troue ,love so as to govern all nasions on the fass of the gloub not to tiranize over them but to put them to order if any ,despout shall ,a ,rise as to boundreys or ,any maturs of ,importence it is ,left france and grat britton and ,amacarey to be setteled ,a ,congress to be always in france all ,despouts is to be thare seteled and this may be ,dun this will balless powers and then all wars ,dun ,a way there fore ,i have the ,lam to lay ,dow with the ,lion ,now this may be ,dun if thos three powers would ,a geray to ,lay what is called ,devel one side and ,not ,carry the gentelman pack hors ,any longer but shake him off as dust on your feet and ,laff at him there is a grate noise aboute a toue ,leged ,creter he says ,i am going to set sade black ,divel there stop he would scare the womans so there would be ,no youse for the bilding ,i should have to ,e rect sum ,noue won ,now ,i stop hear ,i puts the ,devil ,long with the bull for he is a bulling #b ,leged ,annemal stop put him one side ,near ,soloman ,looking with ,soloman to ,ladey venus ,now stop wind up there is grat ods in froute ,i will ,let you know the sekret houe you may see the ,devel stand on your head before a ,loucking glass and take a bibel in to your bousom fast #dj owers and look in the loucking glass there is no ,devilif you dont see the ould fellow but ,i affirm you will see that ould ,devel ,unto you all mankind ,com to my hous to mock and sneare whi ye ,dont you ,lafe be fore god or ,i meane your betters think the heir power ,dont know thorts and ,axsions ,now ,i will tell you good and bad it is ,not pelite to ,com to see what the bare walls keep of my ground if you are gentel men you would stay ,away when all is ,dun in marble ,i expect to goue out myself to ,help if thous grat men will send on there ,likeness all over the younited ,states ,i wish all the printers to give ,notis if pleases to in form by printen in the ,nouspapers for the good of the holl of man kind------ ,i waus to make my ,enemys grin in time ,lik ,a ,cat over a hot puding and goue ,away and hang there heads ,doun ,like a ,dogg bin ,after sheep gilty stop see ,i am ,afrade ,i ,rite toue hash my peopel ,complane of backker spittel maks work to ,cleane it up----in the women skouls ,a bout it spit in ther hankershif or not spit ,a tall ,i must say sumthing or ,i should say ,nothing therefore make sum ,noise in the world when ,i git so ouely to ,nash my goms and grising for water and that is salt water when brot ,a yong ,devel to bring it and ,a ,scoyer to wate and tend on gentelmen ,a black ,suier his breth ,smelt wos then bram stone by far but ,let the ,devel goue in to ,darknes an takeld his due to ,descare mankind for ,a ,littel while this ,cloven foot is seen be sum but the trap will over hall the ,devel in tim ,i pittey this poore black man ,i thinc his master wants purging a ,littel to har ber mr ,devel ,a most but ,i did ,not say ,let him ,run ,a way good ,nit mr ,devel ,cary the sword and mwney with you tak ,john mekel ,jentel man good ,not ,t ,,dexter ,,this ,,cometh ,,greeting mister printers the ,igrent or the ,nowing wons says ,i ort to ,doue as thay doue to keep up ,cheats or the same thing ,desephons to ,deseave the ,igrent so wee may ,cheat and ,likewise have wars and plunder my wish is all ,liers may have there part of fier and brimstone in this world or at least sum part of it or ,else the gouement is ,not good it will want pourging soone if ,a ,lawyer is to way ,lay a man and brouse him unmassely ,all most to ,death ,a sitteson that pays twentey fore ,dolors for ,careags and not more then one ,dolor ,a week to ment the hiways and my being ,libperel is in part of this bloddey ,afare ,no sauage would beat a man as ,i was beaten almost to ,death ,i ,did not know houe these men ,came to keep sade ,lawyer from quit killing of me till sum time ,after three men saw the ,axon of the blodey seene without massey and carried sade ,dexter in to the house sun fanting or ,neare to se and behold the orful site bleading and blind of one ,eye twoue brousings in two hours at ,least ,now ,laws in this part of the world for ,a man of money to ,live those ,i lend money to and ,a ,lawyer and others thay youse me the wost it maks ,inemys then these ,rogs if there is ,any that call me ,a soull and pick a ,qualrel with me ,a bout my ,nous papers so as to pay the ,lawyer ,craft to make up the molton ,calf ,a molton ,calfe ,not an ,ox ,now the town of ,chester has ,lost two ,hundred wate of ,siver at ,least ,i beleuv more money ,now thay may have me in the town or ,a ,lawyer ,chouse for yourselves my frinds and felow mortels pease be with you ,all ,a men selagh finely brethren sum thing more ,coming---- ,chester1 ,sept4 #bi1 #agif4 ,,timothy ,,dexter 99 99 99 99 99 ,for the ,impartial ,herald4 ,messrs4 ,blunt ,march1 ,i say to whom it may concern--to the majesty of the people of ,newburyport1 ,greeting-- ,it costs ,eight hundred ,dollars a year to support a watch in this town1 and yer gentlemen's windows are broken1 fences pulled down and ,cellars broken open1 and much other misdemeanors done at night4 ,are the watch asleep1 or are they afraid to detect those who are guilty of such practises8 ,boast not of it if you call this ,liberty and ,equality4 ,newburyport has had the name of being a very civil worthy place2 it is a great pity some bad boys or young men should disgrace it4 ,i hope our worthy and honorable rulers will bring those rude lads to see themselves and lick the dust like serpents1 and ask forgiveness of their betters1 and do so no more1 but repent and live4 ,now fellow citizens is it wisdom1 is it policy1 to use a man or men so shocking bad as to oblige them to leave the town where they paid one ,dollar a day to support government8 ,a friend to good order1 honor to whom it belongs--to great men a friend--to all good citizens and honest men good bye4 99 99 99 99 99 ,whereas many philosophers has judged or guessed at many things about this world1 and so on4 ,now ,i suppose ,i may guess1 as it is guessing times4 ,i guess the world is one very large living creature1 and always was1 and always will be without any end from everlasting to everlasting1 and no end4 ,what grows on this large creature is trees and many other things4 ,in the room of hair the rocks is moulds4 ,this is called land where the hair grows1 the belly the sea--all kinds of fish is the worms in the belly4 ,this large body wants dressing to get our living of this creature and by industry we get a living--we and all the animal creation is less than fleas in comparison on the back or belly of this very large immense body4 ,among the hairs to work this great body is that of nature1 past finding out4--,all we know is we are here1 we come into the world crying and go out groaning4 ,mankind is the master beast on the earth--in the sea1 the whale is the head fish--the minim is the smallest fish--the great fish eat up the little ones1 and so not only destroy one another1 but they are master over the whole of beasts and fish1 even over a lion1 therefore man is the masterly beast and the worst of the whole--they know the most1 and act the worst according to what they know4 ,seeing mankind so bad by nature1 ,i think when the candle goes out1 men and women is done1 they will lay as dirt or rocks till the great gun fires1 and when that goes off the gun will be so large that the gun will contain nine hundred million tons of the best of good powder1 then that will shake and bring all the bones together1 then the world will be to an end4 ,all kinds of music will be going on1 funding systems will be laid aside1 the melody will be very great4 ,now why cant you all believe the above written as well as many other things to be true2 as well as what was set forth in the last ,centinel concerning digging up a frog twenty five feet below the surface1 where it was most as hard as a rock--there was his shape like taking a stone out of a rock--,this is from a minister4 ,now why wont you believe me as well4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,wonder ,,of ,,wonders6 ,how great the soul is6 ,do not you all wonder admire to see and behold and hear8 ,can you all believe half the truth1 and admire to hear the wonders how great the soul is--only behold--past finding out6 ,only see how large the soul is6--that if a man is drowned in the sea1 what a great bubble comes up out of the top of the water6 the last of the man dying under water--this is wind--is the soul that is the last to ascend out of the deep to glory--it is the breath from on high doth go on high to glory4 ,the bubble is the soul4 ,a young fellow's for gunning for the good of bodies and souls4 99 99 99 99 99 ,my frinds felow mortals there is ,a first ,cose of all things most ,comle so it ,came to pass that one ,abraham bish up got ,a qanted with my ,dafter--shee ,a babey he ,old in ,eage and ,larning and ,colage ,lant ,lawyer ,lant and preast ,lant and masonik ,lant and ,divel ,lant he was then ,nothing as for ,cash he being ,a fox and ,a old fox he was ,after the graps he tasted of them he ,cryed out fower this ,anne meal sent my ,dafter home he sad ,a b did ,not git all the ,lovs ,littel fishes but got ,a part and ,now #i years ,i have ,now had my ,dafter ,crasey in by the ,cose of this wild ,a b hell on ,earth o o pittey me ,all good felow mortels sade ,creater ,a b mad with ,larning as pour as ,a snake and as proud as ,lousfer he sade his father was worth twenty thosand ,dolors he was ,not more than five thousand ,dolors he send for bishup bass to be mared befor dublessed ,insisted to be maried he says ,daxter may ,crye them ,down in the ,lore ,reogon ,after sum time thay got published then he in sisted ,not to have ,any witness went and hid finly my gost my wife that was the gost #ac yearst ,last march thay where maried ,i was maried to the gost thirtey five ,last may ,i have bin in hell all the time more so sence ,abraham bishup got in to my house he hurt me and familey one tun of silver it was the ,cose of my parting with mis ,dexter ,now ,i ,am free ,now for ,a wife that has ,a sole the gost was ,a gisard ,a ,cose all ,round her ,a b striking my ,dafter on hur side as shee swares to grat ,lawyer ,dexter and to many others ,i be ,leave it that knows the trouth the bloue he gave hur on the side shee had to put plasters on her side ,neare three years when ,likker is in the wit is scattered ,a b is the beast or ,creater two ,leged ,conekett boull short ,nek boull head thik hare big sholders black ,corlley hare he wants to be ,a god but what ,i sot sade ,creater ,down at short ,a quatence ,i ,can prove it my selfe by men of the sekent magentoude my gesing of the ,creater it tourned out ,according to my gessing and when ,i see my father the grat good man father ,thomas gefsion ,i will ,let the ,cat out of the bag and give ,lite to the blind sade ,a b will ,doue for sum offess ,everye ,annemel will ,doue for sumthing ,a b will mak a midling good ,,camp ,,collemon ,a thing hier if ,i am a ,roug in grane so be it ,a ,lepard ,cant ,alter hur spots ,nor beaver wont groue on ,a houk back ,i be ,leave if my father the presente koue the holl trouth of ,a b treatment to my ,dafter from her mouth the grat man woul shead tears with greafe and all good peopel ,like wise shocking is the ,a fare ,i am ,,timothy ,,dexter 99 99 99 99 99 ,to man kind at ,large ,i ,never had the honour to be ,long ,i meane to that onerabel mesonek ,order ,i ,noked once once twise three times the gohst ,apeared sade thou shall ,not enter be ,cose ,i have toue much knowledge in my head--,i sopose had ,i bin one then should bin to keep open ,dors for thives ,robers ,i have ,rougs plentey without keeping tavern ,i ,dont wont ,now ,abrahams ,nor ,aney of the order only fict ,ladeys mared and grat gentil men that belongs out of the town mared peopol and fine widders ,i wish to see with pleasur for ,i wonts to marey ,a fine wider for ,i hant had ,now wife for thirteene years ,next orgest ,i gave the gost fore hundred wate of silver to quit the state grat ,lawyer passons the gient of the ,law ,rote the ,contract the ,cose of it was that mis ,dexter that was would have my ,dafter marey to ,a bishup ,cosed the ,a greement the sole ,cose she has two trousteays which have the money to deal out the intress and shee is so ginress shee bys hur ,neadels ,i bys the pins sisers all things ,else shee ,leaves the in tress in the hands of the trosteys ,i must have ,a ,companon soun good by all ,at present with glorey ,,timothy ,,dexter ,i ask for giveness of the world of mankind for teling the trouth ,i meane ,no hurt to ,a flie only when he bits me then ,i kils the flye if ,i can ,i have bin my one tromter fore teene years my tromter is ,dead my haveing so many wounds in fas and on my head ,i ,doue it to make a good ,lafe to keep my sperets from sinking pittey me all good peopel ,a men and fourder ,i maried widder frothingham shee had fore ,children the holl of all there stats was short of thirteene houndred ,dolors this woman groed mad shee sade shee must goue to hell goue ferting for ,i have fined ,a ganst the holey goast un pardinbell sin shee was for making way with hur selfe in three monts ,i got the best minister in town to ,lay the gost he prayed hartey but ,could ,not ,laye the serpent only in part shee has bin ,cracey ,every sence it is ,a wonder ,i am ,a ,live two children suked hur brest--it is heretarey two ,children maried now ,live upon me being disorded thay beat me offen with ,death ,cloube the old gost toue bad to say ,i be silent under serkoumstanes ,i mus ,cout ,roum sell the one of the first plases all most in the world for ,i am in grat fear of my ,life being taken ,a way such blows ,i have had from toue or three gost in my familey is worth twelve hundred hoxets of geamator best shougers ,even ,a saxton to take the blows ,i wodent for fifty milon ,dollors words cant ,express the bloddey war in my familey three gosts all ,noys ,robing of me ,i must sell with tears in my ,eys ,i ,cant see to ,rite ,aany more fare well ,i say good bye ,t ,,dexter ,illustration ,how ,did ,dexter make his money ,inw ye says bying whale bone for stain for ships in grosing three houndred #dj tuns bort all in boston salum and all in ,noue york under ,cover oppenly told them for my ships thay all ,lafed so ,i had at my one prise ,i had four ,couning men for ,rouners thay souned the horne as ,i told them to ,act the fool ,i was foull of ,cash ,i had ,nine tun of silver on hand at that time all that time the ,creaters more or ,less ,lafing it spread very fast heare is the ,rub in fifty ,days thay smelt ,a ,rat found whare it was gone to ,nouebry ,port speklaters swarmed ,like hell houns to be short with it ,i made seventey five per sent one tun and halfe of silver and over one more spect ,drole ,a ,nouf ,i ,dreamed of warming pans three ,nits that thay would doue in the west ingas ,i got not more than fortey two thousand put them in ,nine vessele for difrent ports that tuck good hold------,i cleared sevinty nine per sent------the pans thay mad yous of them for ,coucking very good master for ,coukey blessed good in ,deade missey got ,nise handed ,now bourn my fase the best thing ,i ,ever see in borne days ,i found ,i was very luckkey in spekkelasion ,i ,dreamed that the good book was ,run ,down in this ,countrey ,nine years gone so ,low az halfe prise and ,dull at that the bibbel ,i means ,i had the ,readey ,cash by holl sale ,i bort twelve per sent under halfe prise thay ,cost forty one sents ,each bibels twenty one thousand ,i put them into twenty one vessels for the westinges and sent ,a text that all of them must have one bibel in ,every familey or if not thay would goue to hell and if thay had ,dun wiked flie to the bibel and on thare ,neas and kiss the bibel three times and ,look up to heaven ,annest for giveness my ,capttens all had ,compleat orders heare ,coms the good ,luck ,i made one hundred per sent ,littel over then ,i found ,i had made money ,a ,nuf ,i hant speck ,a ,lated sence old times by goverment secourties ,i made or cleared forty seven thousands ,dolors that is the old ,a fare ,now ,i toald the all the sekrett ,now be still ,let me ,a ,lone ,dont wonder ,now more houe ,i got my money boaz ,t ,,dexter 99 99 99 99 99 ,now to all onnest men to pittey me that ,i have bin in hell3 #ce years in this world with the gost ,a woman ,i maried and have two ,children ,now ,liveing ,abram bishup mared my ,dafter sence the troubel is such that words ,cant be ,exprexed ,nine years disorded for a tun of silver for three months ,i could ,not have the gost in my pallas sleep ,not have to be had ,now to save my ,life ,i will sell if ,not ,i will ,let the house it is as ,notted as ,any hous in the oile shouls and furder in the world or sence ,noers ,arke sence the floud taking in my self finly such ,a plase ,no whare in the world all gous with it hoses chareags all but plate gouels ,a ,reserve the holey bybel and one bouck more my old head has wore out three boddeys it would take a journey of ,docters one our to find and ,count the scars on my head given by the goust others ,amen ,joune #ab- #ahje ,clean trouth ,t ,,dexter 99 99 99 99 99 ,i say the grate mister ,divel that has so maney ,nick ,names a frind to the preasts ,now is dead all and the pope ,likewise and the founders of mesonic ,a ,cheat foull of war and gratness of hell ,dead preasts ,dead and ,lawyers ,damede ,deade ,a braham b bi ,ass ,dead and ,all the frinds of mankind sings prasses that wee are the grat familey of mankind ,now out of hell ,deleured from fire and smoak bourning for ,ever ,now all in heaven uppon ,earth ,now all frinds ,now for ,a ,day of ,regoising all over the world as one grate familey all ,nasions to be ounited ,no more wars for fifty years and ,longer ,i ,recommend pease ,a ,congress in france and when wee are ,ripe for ,a ,emper in this ,contrey ,call for me to take the helm or a ,consler in the ,afare of trouth ,amen and ,amen ,,timothy ,,dexter ,p ,s--one thing further ,i happened not to think of that grate ,creature which some fools ,call the ,goast and others say that he is wanted--,but ,i thing that it will be of searvice to let the ,thanttron ,dye ,t ,,dexter 99 99 99 99 99 ,scarting trouths fortey six years gone old french war to git men and ,lads to ,list the prests told them thay would ,live as ,long as if thay staed at home for ,every boulitt had its ,commison from the ,lord he directed them one time when old good mister ,emmerson had ,a gurnemon to preach ,i heard him say for ,addom sin there was ,now in hell milons of milons of ,children ,not more than ,a span ,long all this is troue and when there was a ,a ,drouth most over thay would ,call ,a fast and pray very ,annest for the bottels of heaven to be on ,corked so the ,rane mit ,com ,down the minester did ,not say how ,larg thay whare ,i gess they held five hundred hoxetts ,each #ahje may #bg ,,timothy ,,dexter 99 99 99 99 99 ,trouth ,i afirme ,i am so much of ,a foule the ,rougs want to git my ,jouels ,loavs ,littel fishes without my ,leave ,leave is ,lit thay all ,caled me ,a foull forty years ,now ,i will ,call all fouls but onnes men ,now to brove me ,a foull ,i ,never ,could sing ,nor play ,cards ,nor ,dance ,nor tell ,a ,long storey ,nor play on ,any mouskel ,nor pray ,nor make ,a pen when ,i was young ,i ,could play on ,a ,jous harp it would mak my mouth warter and the ,ladeys sumthing warter gess what ,i sade ,nothing ,a good ,lafe is beter than ,crying ,a ,clam will ,cry ,and warter wen thay are out of there ,ellemen so wee the same if ,i had ,not the gost in my house ,i would ,i mean give ,lite to my brothers sisters and have ,a pease all over the world and beat the trouthe into my frinds houe goud it is houe onnest it would be and houe man kind has bin in posed upon houe thay have bin blinded with untrouths gosts and mister ,divels there is ,now ,none of that order all ,lye the mesonek if thay wilt make a book of trouth ,i will give the ,creaters but ,i will take the ,chare and put my frind bonne partey on my ,rte hand ,and the grat ginrel meroue on my ,left hand ,a ,nuf to give the sword is in the banks ,a ,emper only be still ,i will take the helm in ,love ,i am ,a quaker ,no blod spiled all in the ,love of ,a ,emper you will have in fortey years ,i may ,com back see houe you all goue on what you ware when the gost is gone and mister ,divel pease on ,earth be fore ,i will have a war in my ,day ,i will be your frind the ,emper and if ,i want help ,i will ,call my frind boneypartey and gorge the third ,dewide the ,lose ,now take ,care peas ,i say ,except of what is ,rewealed to me for it will ,com to pass ,i was born when grat powers ,rouled ,i was borne in #agdg ,janeuarey #bb on this day in the morning ,a grat snow storme the sines in the seventh house wives mars ,came fored ,joupeter stud by houlding the ,candel ,i was to be one grat man mars got the beth to be onnest man to ,doue good to my felow mortelz ,i think ,i am ,a quaker but ,i have so ,littel sense ,i ,cant ,deseave ,i ,can swep my hous git all ,a ,noue gelt goue out of hell is bless ,law and trouth and ,reason on my side it must be done when ,i git my worthy widdow it is ,dun ,not one word of ,anger as ,long as ,i ,live to a ,a good woman ,i a firme ,,timothy ,,dexter fourder ,i ,dont have ,aney of the ,ladeys of prinsbell spend the ,intress ,i will spend ,day and ,nite ,all ,i have and ,doue all the good to please ,i can make as much heaven upon ,earth as posbel and then ,dye in peas ,a men and ,amen for ,a ,companon ,i must have to make out this heaven then ,i am happy the goue in the dark in pease when the ,candel gous out in the--,lord god of ,nater one more ,a men good bye ,t ,,dexter forder ,a grate good man ,came to see me ,not ,long sence ,i told sade man ,i had many ,innemys he says be ,cos you are toue onnest to be beloved you ,dont gine in ,comon ways with ,rougs bibel making mesonik order to promes to pay ,never pay only with ,a ,lye and gine heell on ,earth ,cheat all you ,can gine the mob then you are ,a brother ,now ,i am glad ,i did ,not ,nock the ,doer ,down my good ,louck my god and my god blessed be my good ,luch ,t ,,dexter sum more sweet meats trouths ,i say ,now man sence ,noers ,ark ,dare to ,rite of so ,littel ,laning ,i begon when abrham was in my hous ,i then ,rote this world was hell men was ,divels sum better then others sum white ,divels sum black sum ,copper ,divels ,i for got them bloue ,divels this spred far was printed in many papers a bishop ,cosed my blood to bile thirteene years last ,march as when ,i begun to ,rite ,i sade the grat ,rougs was the best men o o for shame the onnest man was ,lafed at a b being foull of ,larning it maks him mad to be a ,lousefer his ,rane is short ,i hope to see my father the grat felosfer the presedent before ,i die the trouth he must know a men ,t ,,dexter ,i ,crys ,crys ,lik a babey when ,i ,rits my trobel is so grat to have my ,dafter so ,crasey the ,rick of our ,lives such blows with such weapons of a sudden strike such brouses is worth thirty millon of ,dolors for a pouer man to have and others o brous me thay wont my ,life to git my money so ,i must seel be a sitteson of the world it is a wonder ,i am a ,live the burds will ,chip offen before ,i ,can git to sleep the ,noys is so grate all hell ,no more a b bishups he wants to be ,deatey ,let sade beast goue once twise act so ,now toue much ,laning make ,rougs and fouls in the ,eand ,dig a ,dich fall in to it white ,rop or a hare ,rop taks them in time trouth 99 99 99 99 99 ,this is revealed to me how the world was made with what stuff it was made with is the question ,now ,i tell the with paper pen and ink and type the ,anemels to be the founders of it with a ,lye ,lyes upon ,lyes wose then beasts or ,snaks or wouls or bars tigers ,divils and ten times wose with all ,lyes untrouths the world allways was and is ,look out for trouth a men ,i ,,timothy ,,dexter fourder in six ,days and verey good and harde ,laber ,i ,cant gitt my monement ,dun in sixty ,days and work hard very hard sweet it was for want of maney hands ,i had ,no hiram ,nor ,solomon only my selfe ,t ,,dexter ,world makers mankind with marbel and parchment and paper pen ink and printers tips and ,lyes upon ,lyes amen and amen the world was made in six ,days out of ,nothing o yess o lye ,now all troue ,lye yess all the world over ,,timothy ,,dexter ,,appendix4 ,,in ,,honor ,,of ,,timothy ,,dexter1 ,,esq4 ,this great philosopher may indeed be styled a phenomenon in nature6 ,the many literary qualifications he possesses rank him foremost among literary characters4----,that unequalled production from the pen of this wonderful philosopher1 denominated ,a ,pickle for the ,knowing ,ones1 has not only received universal applause1 and been ranked as of the first magnitude in the literary world1 but has had such rapidity in its sale1 that a copy cannot be procured1 though diligently sought after by men of the most transcendant merit4 ,where can we find a man so extensively useful1 and so eminently calculated to diffuse light to a dark and ignorant multitude1 as this rare philosopher8 ,how penetrating his understanding6 ,how deep his ideas6 ,what a multitude of discoveries which before were hid in embryo1 have made their appearance at the nod of his genius6 ,surely we may say1 ,blessed are the people who are highly favored with the greatest ,luminary that ever gave light to an existing world66 ,while aiming at a just portrait of this remarkable ,naturalist and ,philosopher1 his generosity is no less a subject of admiration1 than his literary and philosophical abilities4 ,the readiness with which his benevolent soul bestows donations calls forth the grateful acknowledgement of all who have been liberally assisted from his bountiful hand4 ,see him the first to assist in building a church for the worship of ,god6 ,see him liberally give for the purchase of bells1 the ready cash1 without hesitation6 ,see him expending his fortune to preserve in everlasting romembrance1 characters who have shone with unexampled greatness in ,europe and ,america6 ,here the subject fails4 ,vain man may as well attempt to stop the course of nature1 as to do ample justice to this wonderful man6 ,behold all nature stands aghast ,to hear thy fame from east to west6 ,how great how grand of thee we hear1 ,thou man of sense--thou eastern star6 ,all men inquire--but few can tell ,how thou in science doth excel6 ,great philosophic genius1 we1 ,the meanest reptiles1 bow the knee4 ,at thy majestic shrine we shrink6 ,what can we do1 or say1 or think6 ,when contemplating on thy worth4 ,which hath astonish'd all the earth4 ,great ,,dexter1 did the world do right1 ,thy name would shine with brilliant light6 ,each would declare thy wond'rous fame1 ,and shout at ,,dexter',s mighty name6 99 99 99 99 99 ,,salem1 ,june #ad1 #ahje ,,my ,,lord ,,dexter1 ,by the politeness of ,mr4 ,emerson ,i received the very valuable contents of your package4 ,a new edition of that unprecedented performance1 entitled ,a ,pickle for the ,knowing ,ones1 c4 is very urgently called for by the friends of literature in this country and in ,england--and ,i presume with the additions and improvements intended to accompany the second edition1 provided it should be well printed1 would entitle the author to a seat with the ,disciples of ,sir ,joseph ,banks1 if not to a place in ,bonaparte's ,legion of ,honor--for my ,lord ,,dexter is an honorable man4 ,but1 sir1 the work cannot be executed for the sum named--nor in the time specified4--,i will print an edition of #ejj copies with the additions1 for fifty dollars1 and cannot possibly do them for less4 ,wishing your ,lordship health in perpetuity--a continuance of your admirable reasoning faculties--good spirits1 and an abundance of wealth--and finally a safe passage over any river not with ,sticks1 but a pleasure boat1 ,i remain yours with the utmost profundity4 ,w4 ,,carlton4 ,the ,right ,honorable ,lord ,,dexter1 ,kt4 ,newburyport4 99 99 99 99 99 ,the follering peases are not my ,riting but very drole ,,timothy ,,dexter ,,mr4 ,,melcher1 ,your publishing the following extract from a letter said to be from a trader among the ,indians to a friend1 may amuse some of your customers for the ,gazette4 ,a few days ago one of the ,indians paid me a visit4 ,after some conversation1 he said that a minister from the ,united ,states had been with his tribe to teach them the ,christian religion4 ,he says that there is but one only living and true ,god1 who is a good1 wise1 and powerful spirit 7this ,indian say too7 and that there are three persons in the god head1 of one substance and power1 ,god the father1 ,god the ,son and ,god the ,holy ,ghost1 that the ,father is of none1 neither begotten1 or proceeding1 the ,son is eternally begotten of the ,father1 the ,holy ,ghost eternally proceeding from the ,father and the ,son1 and that the ,holy ,ghost visited a virgin1 and conveyed the ,son into her2 where he continued nine moons and then was born like other children1 was born ,god and man1 that when he was about thirty years old began to preach1 but the great men no like his preaching1 sent their warriors1 who took and killed him4 ,indians ask what all this talk mean1 he say that the first man and woman broke ,god's law in eating what ,god had forbidden1 that therefore they and all the children that should proceed from them must die1 and be punished after death forever2 that the ,son came and died to save some of mankind from being punished after death4 ,oh6 'trange that man could kill ,god the ,son1 and that his death be of service to mankind--great many people die before the ,son of ,god1 and did not know any thing about him--it was then asked whether his dying would do poor ,indians any good2 he say yes1 if they believe2 then me say that pappoose no believe them do no good2 he say you must leave that with ,god1 and believe for yourself--one say it is hard to believe such 'tories2 if ,indian tell such 'trange things1 the white people no believe um4 ,a curious ,sermon1 by the ,rev4 ,mr4 ,hyberdin1 which he made at the request of certain thieves that robbed him on a hill near ,hartlgrow1 in ,hampshire1 7,england7 in their presence and at that instant4 ,i greatly marvel that any man will disgrace thieving1 and think that the doers thereof are worthy of death1 considering it as a thing that cometh near unto virtue1 being used in all countries1 and allowed by ,god himself2 the thing which ,i cannot compendiously show unto you at so short a warning1 and on so sharp an occasion4 ,i must desire you1 gentle audience of thieves1 to take in good part what at this time cometh into my mind1 not doubting but that you1 through your good knowledge1 are able to add much more unto it1 than this which ,i shall now offer unto you4 ,first1 ,fortitude and stoutness of courage1 and also boldness of mind1 is commended of some men to be a virtue2 which being granted1 who is there then that will not judge thieves to be virtuous8 ,for they are of all men the most stout and hardy1 and the most void of fear2 for thieving is a thing usual among all men2 for not only you that are here present1 but also many others in divers places1 both men1 women and children1 rich and poor1 are daily of the faculty1 as the hangman at ,newgate can testify2 and that it is allowed of by ,god himself is evident from ,scripture2 ,for if you examine the whole course of the ,bible you will find that thieves have been beloved of ,god2 for ,jacob1 when he came out of ,mesopotamia1 did steal his uncle ,laban's kids4 ,the same ,jacob did also steal his brother ,esau's blessing2 and yet ,god said1 ,i have chosen ,jacob and refused ,esau4 ,the children of ,israel1 when they came out of ,egypt1 did steal the ,egyptian's jewels of silver and jewels of gold1 as ,god commanded them to do4 ,david1 in the days of ,abiathar1 the high priest1 came into the temple and stole the hallowed bread2 and yet ,god said1 ,david is a man after my own heart4 ,christ himself1 when he was here on earth1 did take an ass and colt that was none of his2 and yet ,god said1 ,this is my beloved son1 in whom ,i am well pleased4 ,thus you see that ,god delighted in thieves4 ,but most of all ,i marvel that men can despise thieves1 whereas in many points you be like ,christ himself2 for ,christ had no dwelling place no more than you--,christ at length was caught1 and so will you--he went to hell and so will you4 ,in this you differ from him1 for he rose and went into heaven--so you will never do without ,god's great mercy1 which ,god grant you4 ,to whom with the ,father1 ,son and ,holy ,ghost1 be all honor and glory1 for ever and ever4 ,,amen4 99 99 99 99 99 ,from the ,providence ,phoenix of ,december1 #ahjd4 ,,marquis ,,of ,,newburyport66 ,on ,monday last arrived in this town the most noble and illustrious ,lord ,,timothy ,,dexter1 of ,newburyport1 ,massachusetts1 who has since his arrival requested the publication of the following stanzas in this day's paper1 as a humble tribute to the incomprehensible majesty of his name6 ,while they serve as a brilliant specimen of the gifted talents and admirable sublimity of the ,laureat1 from whose pen they flowed1 the virtuoso in genealogies1 and the worshippers of noble rank and boundless fortune may derive a rich and delicious satisfaction from the subject to which they are devoted6 99 99 99 99 99 ,,advertisement ,,extra4 ,,of ,,the ,,celebrated ,,lord ,,dexter4 ,,lord ,,dexter is a man of fame1 ,most celebrated is his name2 ,more precious far than gold that's pure1 ,lord ,dexter live for evermore4 ,his noble house it shines more bright ,than ,lebanon's most pleasant height1 ,never was one who step'd therein ,who wanted to come out again4 ,his house is fill'd with sweet perfumes1 ,rich furniture doth fill his rooms2 ,inside and out it is adorn'd1 ,and on the top an eagle's form'd4 ,his house is white and trimm'd with green1 ,for many miles it may be seen2 ,it shines as bright as any star1 ,the fame of it has spread afar4 ,lord ,dexter1 thou1 whose name alone ,shines brighter than king ,george's throne2 ,thy name shall stand in books of fame1 ,and ,princes shall his name proclaim4 ,lord ,dexter hath a coach beside1 ,in pomp and splendor he doth ride2 ,the horses champ the silver bitt1 ,and throw the foam around their feet4 ,the images around him stand1 ,for they were made by his command2 ,looking to see ,lord ,dexter come1 ,with fixed eyes they see him home4 ,four lions stand to guard the door1 ,with their mouths open to devour ,all enemies who do disturb ,lord ,dexter or his shady grove4 ,lord ,dexter1 like king ,solomon1 ,hath gold and silver by the ton1 ,and bells to churches he hath given1 ,to worship the great king of heaven4 ,his mighty deeds they are so great1 ,he's honor'd both by church and state1 ,and when he comes all must give way1 ,to let ,lord ,dexter bear the sway4 ,when ,dexter dies all things shall droop1 ,lord ,east1 ,lord ,west1 ,lord ,north shall stoop1 ,and then ,lord ,south with pomp shall come1 ,and bear his body to the tomb4 ,his tomb most charming to behold1 ,a thousand sweets it doth unfold2 ,when ,dexter dies shall willows weep1 ,and mourning friends shall fill the street4 ,may ,washington immortal stand1 ,may ,jefferson by ,god's command ,support the right of all mankind1 ,john ,adams not a whit behind4 ,america with all your host1 ,lord ,dexter in a bumper toast2 ,may he enjoy his life in peace1 ,and when he's dead his name not cease4 ,in heaven may he always reign1 ,for there's no sorrow1 sin1 nor pain3 ,unto the world ,i leave the rest1 ,for to pronounce ,lord ,dexter blest4 11 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 11 11 1 11 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 11 11 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 11 11 1 11 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 11 11 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 11 11 1 11 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 11 11 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 11 11 1 11 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 11 11 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 11 11 1 11 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 11 11 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 11 11 1 11 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 11 11 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 11 11 1 11 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 11 11 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 11 11 1 11 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 11 11 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 11 11 1 11 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 11 22 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 22 22 2 22 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 22 22 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 22 22 2 22 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 22 22 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 22 22 2 22 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 22 22 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 22 22 2 22 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 22 22 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 22 22 2 22 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 22 33 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 33 33 3 33 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 33 33 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 33 33 3 33 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 33 33 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 33 33 3 33 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 33 33 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 33 33 3 33 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 33 88 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 88 88 8 88 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 88 88 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 88 88 8 88 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 88 88 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 88 88 8 88 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 88 88 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 88 88 8 88 6 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 88 66 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 66 66 6 66 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 66 66 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 66 66 6 66 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 66 66 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 66 66 6 66 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 66 66 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 66 66 6 66 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 66 '' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '' '' ' '' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '' '' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '' '' ' '' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '' '' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '' '' ' '' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '' '' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '' '' ' '' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '' 44 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 44 44 4 44 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 44 44 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 44 44 4 44 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 44 44 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 44 44 4 44 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 44 44 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 44 44 4 44 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 44 -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- -- - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- -- - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- -- - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- 99 99 99 99 99 ,transcriber's ,note3 ,the block of punctuation 7on a page by itself7 is inexplicably left unexplained in this edition4 ,dexter wrote before it in the second edition3 fouder mister printer the ,nowing ones complane of my book the fust edition had no stops ,i put in ,a ,nuf here and thay may peper and solt it as they plese