,,the ,,confessions ,,of ,,jean         
,,jacques ,,rousseau 7,in #ab books7    
,privately ,printed for the ,members of 
the ,aldus ,society  ,london1 #aijc     
,,book ,,vii4   ,after two years'       
silence and patience1 and               
notwithstanding my resolutions1  ,i     
again take up my pen3 ,reader1 suspend  
your judgment as to the reasons which   
force me to such a step3 of these you   
can be no judge until you shall have    
read my book4  ,my peaceful youth has   
been seen to pass away calmly and       
agreeably without any great             
disappointments or remarkable           
prosperity4  ,this mediocrity was mostly
 owing to my ardent yet feeble nature1  
less prompt in undertaking than easy to 
discourage2 quitting repose for violent 
agitations1 but returning to it from    
lassitude and inclinations1 and which1  
placing me in an idle and tranquil state
 for which alone ,i felt ,i was born1 at
 a distance from the paths of great     
virtues and still further from those of 

great vices1 never permitted me to      
arrive at anything great1 either good or
 bad4  ,what a different account will ,i
 soon have to give of myself6 ,fate1    
which for thirty years forced my        
inclinations1 for thirty others has     
seemed to oppose them2 and this         
continued opposition1 between my        
situation and inclinations1 will appear 
to have been the source of enormous     
faults1 unheard of misfortunes1 and     
every virtue except that fortitude which
 alone can do honor to adversity4  ,the 
history of the first part of my life was
 written from memory1 and is            
consequently full of errors4  ,as ,i am 
obliged to write the second part from   
memory also1 the errors in it will      
probably be still more numerous4 ,the   
agreeable remembrance of the finest     
portion of my years1 passed with so much
 tranquillity and innocence1 has left in
 my heart a thousand charming           
impressions which ,i love incessantly to
 call to my recollection4 ,it will soon 

appear how different from these those of
 the rest of my life have been4  ,to    
recall them to my mind would be to renew
 their bitterness4 ,far from increasing 
that of my situation by these sorrowful 
reflections1 ,i repel them as much as   
possible1 and in this endeavor often    
succeed so well as to be unable to find 
them at will4  ,this facility of        
forgetting my misfortunes is a          
consolation which ,heaven has reserved  
to me in the midst of those which fate  
has one day to accumulate upon my head4 
,my memory1 which presents to me no     
objects but such as are agreeable1 is   
the happy counterpoise of my terrified  
imagination1 by which ,i foresee nothing
 but a cruel futurity4  ,all the papers 
,i had collected to aid my recollection1
 and guide me in this undertaking1 are  
no longer in my possession1 nor can ,i  
ever again hope to regain them4  ,i have
 but one faithful guide on which ,i can 
depend3 this is the chain of the        
sentiments by which the succession of my

 existence has been marked1 and by these
 the events which have been either the  
cause or the effect of the manner of it4
  ,i easily forget my misfortunes1 but  
,i cannot forget my faults1 and still   
less my virtuous sentiments4  ,the      
remembrance of these is too dear to me  
ever to suffer them to be effaced from  
my mind4  ,i may omit facts1 transpose  
events1 and fall into some errors of    
dates2 but ,i cannot be deceived in what
 ,i have felt1 nor in that which from   
sentiment ,i have done2 and to relate   
this is the chief end of my present     
work4  ,the real object of my           
confessions is to communicate an exact  
knowledge of what ,i interiorly am and  
have been in every situation of my life4
  ,i have promised the history of my    
mind1 and to write it faithfully ,i have
 no need of other memoirs3 to enter into
 my own heart1 as ,i have hitherto done1
 will alone be sufficient4  ,there is1  
however1 and very happily1 an interval  
of six or seven years1 relative to which

 ,i have exact references1 in a         
collection of letters copied from the   
originals1 in the hands of ,m4 du       
,peyrou4  ,this collection1 which       
concludes in #agfj1 comprehends the     
whole time of my residence at the       
hermitage1 and my great quarrel with    
those who called themselves my friends2 
that memorable epocha of my life1 and   
the source of all my other misfortunes4 
,with respect to more recent original   
letters which may remain in my          
possession1 and are but few in number1  
instead of transcribing them at the end 
of this collection1 too voluminous to   
enable me to deceive the vigilance of my
 ,arguses1 ,i will copy them into the   
work whenever they appear to furnish any
 explanation1 be this either for or     
against myself2 for ,i am not under the 
least apprehension lest the reader      
should forget ,i make my confession1 and
 be induced to believe ,i make my       
apology2 but he cannot expect ,i shall  
conceal the truth when it testifies in  

my favor4  ,the second part1 it is      
likewise to be remembered1 contains     
nothing in common with the first1 except
 truth2 nor has any other advantage over
 it1 but the importance of the facts2 in
 everything else1 it is inferior to the 
former4  ,i wrote the first with        
pleasure1 with satisfaction1 and at my  
ease1 at ,wootton1 or in the castle     
,trie3 everything ,i had to recollect   
was a new enjoyment4  ,i returned to my 
closet with an increased pleasure1 and1 
without constraint1 gave that turn to my
 descriptions which most flattered my   
imagination4  ,at present my head and   
memory are become so weak as to render  
me almost incapable of every kind of    
application3 my present undertaking is  
the result of constraint1 and a heart   
full of sorrow4  ,i have nothing to     
treat of but misfortunes1 treacheries1  
perfidies1 and circumstances equally    
afflicting4  ,i would give the world1   
could ,i bury in the obscurity of time1 
every thing ,i have to say1 and which1  

in spite of myself1 ,i am obliged to    
relate4  ,i am1 at the same time1 under 
the necessity of being mysterious and   
subtle1 of endeavoring to impose and of 
descending to things the most foreign to
 my nature4  ,the ceiling under which ,i
 write has eyes2 the walls of my chamber
 have ears4  ,surrounded by spies and by
 vigilant and malevolent inspectors1    
disturbed1 and my attention diverted1 ,i
 hastily commit to paper a few broken   
sentences1 which ,i have scarcely time  
to read1 and still less to correct4  ,i 
know that1 notwithstanding the barriers 
which are multiplied around me1 my      
enemies are afraid truth should escape  
by some little opening4  ,what means can
 ,i take to introduce it to the world8  
,this1 however1 ,i attempt with but few 
hopes of success4  ,the reader will     
judge whether or not such a situation   
furnishes the means of agreeable        
descriptions1 or of giving them a       
seductive coloring6  ,i therefore inform
 such as may undertake to read this     

work1 that nothing can secure them from 
weariness in the prosecution of their   
task1 unless it be the desire of        
becoming more fully acquainted with a   
man whom they already know1 and a       
sincere love of justice and truth4  ,in 
my first part ,i brought down my        
narrative to my departure with infinite 
regret from ,paris1 leaving my heart at 
,charmettes1 and1 there building my last
 castle in the air1 intending some day  
to return to the feet of mamma1 restored
 to herself1 with the treasures ,i      
should have acquired1 and depending upon
 my system of music as upon a certain   
fortune4  ,i made some stay at ,lyons to
 visit my acquaintance1 procure letters 
of recommendation to ,paris1 and to sell
 my books of geometry which ,i had      
brought with me4  ,i was well received  
by all whom ,i knew4  ,m4 and ,madam de 
,malby seemed pleased to see me again1  
and several times invited me to dinner4 
,at their house ,i became acquainted    
with the ,abbe de ,malby1 as ,i had     

already done with the ,abbe de          
,condillac1 both of whom were on a visit
 to their brother4  ,the ,abbe de ,malby
 gave me letters to ,paris2 among       
others1 one to ,m4 de ,pontenelle1 and  
another to the ,comte de ,caylus4 ,these
 were very agreeable acquaintances1     
especially the first1 to whose          
friendship for me his death only put a  
period1 and from whom1 in our private   
conversations1 ,i received advice which 
,i ought to have more exactly followed4 
,i likewise saw ,m4 ,bordes1 with whom  
,i had been long acquainted1 and who had
 frequently obliged me with the greatest
 cordiality and the most real pleasure4 
,he it was who enabled me to sell my    
books2 and he also gave me from himself 
good recommendations to ,paris4  ,i     
again saw the intendant for whose       
acquaintance ,i was indebted to ,m4     
,bordes1 and who introduced me to the   
,duke de ,richelieu1 who was then       
passing through ,lyons4  ,m4 ,pallu     
presented me4  ,the ,duke received me   

well1 and invited me to come and see him
 at ,paris2 ,i did so several times2    
although this great acquaintance1 of    
which ,i shall frequently have occasion 
to speak1 was never of the most trifling
 utility to me4  ,i visited the musician
 ,david1 who1 in one of my former       
journeys1 and in my distress1 had       
rendered me service4  ,he had either    
lent or given me a cap and a pair of    
stockings1 which ,i have never returned1
 nor has he ever asked me for them1     
although we have since that time        
frequently seen each other4  ,i1        
however1 made him a present1 something  
like an equivalent4 ,i would say more   
upon this subject1 were what ,i have    
owned in question2 but ,i have to speak 
of what ,i have done1 which1            
unfortunately1 is far from being the    
same thing4  ,i also saw the noble and  
generous ,perrichon1 and not without    
feeling the effects of his accustomed   
munificence2 for he made me the same    
present he had previously done to the   

elegant ,bernard1 by paying for my place
 in the diligence4  ,i visited the      
surgeon ,parisot1 the best and most     
benevolent of men2 as also his beloved  
,godefroi1 who had lived with him ten   
years1 and whose merit chiefly consisted
 in her gentle manners and goodness of  
heart4  ,it was impossible to see this  
woman without pleasure1 or to leave her 
without regret4  ,nothing better shows  
the inclinations of a man1 than the     
nature of his attachments4       ,unless
 he be deceived in his choice1 or that  
she1 to whom he      attaches himself1  
changes her character by an             
extraordinary      concurrence of       
causes1 which is not absolutely         
impossible4  ,were      this consequence
 to be admitted without modification1   
,socrates must      be judged of by his 
wife ,xantippe1 and ,dion by his friend 
,calippus1      which would be the most 
false and iniquitous judgment ever made4
      ,however1 let no injurious        
application be here made to my wife4    

,she      is weak and more easily       
deceived than ,i at first imagined1 but 
by      her pure and excellent character
 she is worthy of all my esteem4  ,those
 who had once seen the gentle ,godefroi1
 immediately knew the good and amiable  
,parisot4  ,i was much obliged to all   
these good people1 but ,i afterwards    
neglected them all2 not from            
ingratitude1 but from that invincible   
indolence which so often assumes its    
appearance4  ,the remembrance of their  
services has never been effaced from my 
mind1 nor the impression they made from 
my heart2 but ,i could more easily have 
proved my gratitude1 than assiduously   
have shown them the exterior of that    
sentiment4  ,exactitude in              
correspondence is what ,i never could   
observe2 the moment ,i began to relax1  
the shame and embarrassment of repairing
 my fault made me aggravate it1 and ,i  
entirely desist from writing2 ,i have1  
therefore1 been silent1 and appeared to 
forget them4  ,parisot and ,perrichon   

took not the least notice of my         
negligence1 and ,i ever found them the  
same4  ,but1 twenty years afterwards it 
will be seen1 in ,m4 ,bordes1 to what a 
degree the self-love of a wit can make  
him carry his vengeance when he feels   
himself neglected4  ,before ,i leave    
,lyons1 ,i must not forget an amiable   
person1 whom ,i again saw with more     
pleasure than ever1 and who left in my  
heart the most tender remembrance4      
,this was ,mademoiselle ,serre1 of whom 
,i have spoken in my first part2 ,i     
renewed my acquaintance with her whilst 
,i was at ,m4 de ,malby's4  ,being this 
time more at leisure1 ,i saw her more   
frequently1 and she made the most       
sensible impressions on my heart4  ,i   
had some reason to believe her own was  
not unfavorable to my pretensions2 but  
she honored me with her confidence so   
far as to remove from me all temptation 
to allure her partiality4  ,she had no  
fortune1 and in this respect exactly    
resembled myself2 our situations were   

too similar to permit us to become      
united2 and with the views ,i then had1 
,i was far from thinking of marriage4   
,she gave me to understand that a young 
merchant1 one ,m4 ,geneve1 seemed to    
wish to obtain her hand4  ,i saw him    
once or twice at her lodgings2 he       
appeared to me to be an honest man1 and 
this was his general character4         
,persuaded she would be happy with him1 
,i was desirous he should marry her1    
which he afterwards did2 and that ,i    
might not disturb their innocent love1  
,i hastened my departure2 offering up1  
for the happiness of that charming      
woman1 prayers1 which1 here below were  
not long heard4  ,alas6  her time was   
very short1 for ,i afterwards heard she 
died in the second or third year after  
her marriage4  ,my mind1 during the     
journey1 was wholly absorbed in tender  
regret4  ,i felt1 and since that time1  
when these circumstances have been      
present to my recollection1 have        
frequently done the same2 that although 

the sacrifices made to virtue and our   
duty may sometimes be painful1 we are   
well rewarded by the agreeable          
remembrance they leave deeply engravers 
in our hearts4  ,i this time saw ,paris 
in as favorable a point of view as it   
had appeared to me in an unfavorable one
 at my first journey2 not that my ideas 
of its brilliancy arose from the        
splendor of my lodgings2 for in         
consequence of an address given me by   
,m4 ,bordes1 ,i resided at the ,hotel   
,st4 ,quentin1 ,rue des ,cordier1 near  
the ,sorbonne2 a vile street1 a         
miserable hotel1 and a wretched         
apartment3 but nevertheless a house in  
which several men of merit1 such as     
,gresset1 ,bordes1 ,abbe ,malby1        
,condillac1 and several others1 of whom 
unfortunately ,i found not one1 had     
taken up their quarters2 but ,i there   
met with ,m4 ,bonnefond1 a man          
unacquainted with the world1 lame1      
litigious1 and who affected to be a     
purist4  ,to him ,i owe the acquaintance

 of ,m4 ,roguin1 at present the oldest  
friend ,i have and by whose means ,i    
became acquainted with ,diderot1 of whom
 ,i shall soon have occasion to say a   
good deal4  ,i arrived at ,paris in the 
autumn of #agda1 with fifteen louis in  
my purse1 and with my comedy of         
,narcissus and my musical project in my 
pocket4 ,these composed my whole stock2 
consequently ,i had not much time to    
lose before ,i attempted to turn the    
latter to some advantage4  ,i therefore 
immediately thought of making use of my 
recommendations4  ,a young man who      
arrives at ,paris1 with a tolerable     
figure1 and announces himself by his    
talents1 is sure to be well received4   
,this was my good fortune1 which        
procured me some pleasure without       
leading to anything solid4  ,of all the 
persons to whom ,i was recommended1     
three only were useful to me4  ,m4      
,damesin1 a gentleman of ,savoy1 at that
 time equerry1 and ,i believe favorite1 
of the ,princess of ,carignan2 ,m4 de   

,boze1 ,secretary of the ,academy of    
,inscriptions1 and keeper of the medals 
of the king's cabinet2 and ,father      
,castel1 a ,jesuit1 author of the       
',clavecin oculaire'4--ocular           
harpsichord4  ,all these                
recommendations1 except that to ,m4     
,damesin1 were given me by the ,abbe de 
,malby4  ,m4 ,damesin provided me with  
that which was most needful1 by means of
 two persons with whom he brought me    
acquainted4  ,one was ,m4 ,gase1        
'president a mortier' of the parliament 
of ,bordeaux1 and who played very well  
upon the violin2 the other1 the ,abbe de
 ,leon1 who then lodged in the          
,sorbonne1 a young nobleman2 extremely  
amiable1 who died in the flower of his  
age1 after having1 for a few moments1   
made a figure in the world under the    
name of the ,chevalier de ,rohan4  ,both
 these gentlemen had an inclination to  
learn composition4  ,in this ,i gave    
them lessons for a few months1 by which 
means my decreasing purse received some 

little aid4  ,the ,abbe ,leon conceived 
a friendship for me1 and wished me to   
become his secretary2 but he was far    
from being rich1 and all the salary he  
could offer me was eight hundred livres1
 which1 with infinite regret1 ,i        
refused2 since it was insufficient to   
defray the expenses of my lodging1 food1
 and clothing4  ,i was well received by 
,m4 de ,boze4  ,he had a thirst for     
knowledge1 of which he possessed not a  
little1 but was somewhat pedantic4      
,madam de ,boze much resembled him2 she 
was lively and affected4  ,i sometimes  
dined with them1 and it is impossible to
 be more awkward than ,i was in her     
presence4  ,her easy manner intimidated 
me1 and rendered mine more remarkable4  
,when she presented me a plate1 ,i      
modestly put forward my fork to take one
 of the least bits of what she offered  
me1 which made her give the plate to her
 servant1 turning her head aside that ,i
 might not see her laugh4  ,she had not 
the least suspicion that in the head of 

the rustic with whom she was so diverted
 there was some small portion of wit4   
,m4 de ,boze presented me to ,m4 de     
,reaumur1 his friend1 who came to dine  
with him every ,friday1 the day on which
 the ,academy of ,sciences met4  ,he    
mentioned to him my project1 and the    
desire ,i had of having it examined by  
the academy4  ,m4 de ,reaumur consented 
to make the proposal1 and his offer was 
accepted4  ,on the day appointed ,i was 
introduced and presented by ,m4 de      
,reaumur1 and on the same day1 ,august  
#bb;d1 #agdb1 ,i had the honor to read  
to the academy the memoir ,i had        
prepared for that purpose4 ,although    
this illustrious assembly might         
certainly well be expected to inspire me
 with awe1 ,i was less intimidated on   
this occasion than ,i had been in the   
presence of ,madam de ,boze1 and ,i got 
tolerably well through my reading and   
the answers ,i was obliged to give4     
,the memoir was well received1 and      
acquired me some compliments by which ,i

 was equally surprised and flattered1   
imagining that before such an assembly1 
whoever was not a member of it could not
 have commonsense4  ,the persons        
appointed to examine my system were ,m4 
,mairan1 ,m4 ,hellot1 and ,m4 de        
,fouchy1 all three men of merit1 but not
 one of them understood music1 at least 
not enough of composition to enable them
 to judge of my project4  ,during my    
conference with these gentlemen1 ,i was 
convinced with no less certainty than   
surprise1 that if men of learning have  
sometimes fewer prejudices than others1 
they more tenaciously retain those they 
have4 ,however weak or false most of    
their objections were1 and although ,i  
answered them with great timidity1 and  
,i confess1 in bad terms1 yet with      
decisive reasons1 ,i never once made    
myself understood1 or gave them any     
explanation in the least satisfactory4  
,i was constantly surprised at the      
facility with which1 by the aid of a few
 sonorous phrases1 they refuted1 without

 having comprehended me4  ,they had     
learned1 ,i know not where1 that a monk 
of the name of ,souhaitti had formerly  
invented a mode of noting the gamut by  
ciphers3 a sufficient proof that my     
system was not new4 ,this might1        
perhaps1 be the case2 for although ,i   
had never heard of ,father ,souhaitti1  
and notwithstanding his manner of       
writing the seven notes without         
attending to the octaves was not1 under 
any point of view1 worthy of entering   
into competition with my simple and     
commodious invention for easily noting  
by ciphers every possible kind of music1
 keys1 rests1 octaves1 measure1 time1   
and length of note2 things on which     
,souhaitti had never thought it was     
nevertheless true1 that with respect to 
the elementary expression of the seven  
notes1 he was the first inventor4  ,but 
besides their giving to this primitive  
invention more importance than was due  
to it1 they went still further1 and1    
whenever they spoke of the fundamental  

principles of the system1 talked        
nonsense4  ,the greatest advantage of my
 scheme was to supersede transpositions 
and keys1 so that the same piece of     
music was noted and transposed at will  
by means of the change of a single      
initial letter at the head of the air4  
,these gentlemen had heard from the     
music--masters of ,paris that the method
 of executing by transposition was a bad
 one2 and on this authority converted   
the most evident advantage of my system 
into an invincible objection against it1
 and affirmed that my mode of notation  
was good for vocal music1 but bad for   
instrumental2 instead of concluding as  
they ought to have done1 that it was    
good for vocal1 and still better for    
instrumental4 ,on their report the      
academy granted me a certificate full of
 fine compliments1 amidst which it      
appeared that in reality it judged my   
system to be neither new nor useful4  ,i
 did not think proper to ornament with  
such a paper the work entitled          

',dissertation sur la musique moderne'1 
by which ,i appealed to the public4  ,i 
had reason to remark on this occasion   
that1 even with a narrow understanding1 
the sole but profound knowledge of a    
thing is preferable for the purpose of  
judging of it1 to all the lights        
resulting from a cultivation of the     
sciences1 when to these a particular    
study of that in question has not been  
joined4  ,the only solid objection to my
 system was made by ,rameau4  ,i had    
scarcely explained it to him before he  
discovered its weak part4  ,your signs1 
said he1 are very good inasmuch as they 
clearly and simply determine the length 
of notes1 exactly represent intervals1  
and show the simple in the double note1 
which the common notation does not do2  
but they are objectionable on account of
 their requiring an operation of the    
mind1 which cannot always accompany the 
rapidity of execution4  ,the position of
 our notes1 continued he1 is described  
to the eye without the concurrence of   

this operation4  ,if two notes1 one very
 high and the other very low1 be joined 
by a series of intermediate ones1 ,i see
 at the first glance the progress from  
one to the other by conjoined degrees2  
but in your system1 to perceive this    
series1 ,i must necessarily run over    
your ciphers one after the other2 the   
glance of the eye is here useless4  ,the
 objection appeared to me               
insurmountable1 and ,i instantly        
assented to it4  ,although it be simple 
and striking1 nothing can suggest it but
 great knowledge and practice of the    
art1 and it is by no means astonishing  
that not one of the academicians should 
have thought of it4  ,but what creates  
much surprise is1 that these men of     
great learning1 and who are supposed to 
possess so much knowledge1 should so    
little know that each ought to confine  
his judgment to that which relates to   
the study with which he has been        
conversant4  ,my frequent visits to the 
literati appointed to examine my system 

and the other academicians gave me an   
opportunity of becoming acquainted with 
the most distinguished men of letters in
 ,paris1 and by this means the          
acquaintance that would have been the   
consequence of my sudden admission      
amongst them1 which afterwards came to  
pass1 was already established4 ,with    
respect to the present moment1 absorbed 
in my new system of music1 ,i           
obstinately adhered to my intention of  
effecting a revolution in the art1 and  
by that means of acquiring a celebrity  
which1 in the fine arts1 is in ,paris   
mostly accompanied by fortune4  ,i shut 
myself in my chamber and labored three  
or four months with inexpressible ardor1
 in forming into a work for the public  
eye1 the memoir ,i had read before the  
academy4 ,the difficulty was to find a  
bookseller to take my manuscript2 and   
this on account of the necessary        
expenses for new characters1 and because
 booksellers give not their money by    
handfuls to young authors2 although to  

me it seemed but just my work should    
render me the bread ,i had eaten while  
employed in its composition4  ,bonnefond
 introduced me to ,quillau the father1  
with whom ,i agreed to divide the       
profits1 without reckoning the          
privilege1 of which ,i paid the whole   
expense4  ,such were the future         
proceedings of this ,quillau that ,i    
lost the expenses of my privilege1 never
 having received a farthing from that   
edition2 which1 probably1 had but very  
middling success1 although the ,abbe des
 ,fontaines promised to give it         
celebrity1 and1 notwithstanding the     
other journalists1 had spoken of it very
 favorably4  ,the greatest obstacle to  
making the experiment of my system was  
the fear1 in case of its not being      
received1 of losing the time necessary  
to learn it4  ,to this ,i answered1 that
 my notes rendered the ideas so clear1  
that to learn music by means of the     
ordinary characters1 time would be      
gained by beginning with mine4  ,to     

prove this by experience1 ,i taught     
music gratis to a young ,american lady1 
,mademoiselle des ,roulins1 with whom   
,m4 ,roguin had brought me acquainted4  
,in three months she read every kind of 
music1 by means of my notation1 and sung
 at sight better than ,i did myself1 any
 piece that was not too difficult4      
,this success was convincing1 but not   
known2 any other person would have      
filled the journals with the detail1 but
 with some talents for discovering      
useful things1 ,i never have possessed  
that of setting them off to advantage4  
,thus was my airy castle again          
overthrown2 but this time ,i was thirty 
years of age1 and in ,paris1 where it is
 impossible to live for a trifle4 ,the  
resolution ,i took upon this occasion   
will astonish none but those by whom the
 first part of these memoirs has not    
been read with attention4 ,i had just   
made great and fruitless efforts1 and   
was in need of relaxation4  ,instead of 
sinking with despair ,i gave myself up  

quietly to my indolence and to the care 
of ,providence2 and the better to wait  
for its assistance with patience1 ,i lay
 down a frugal plan for the slow        
expenditure of a few louis1 which still 
remained in my possession1 regulating   
the expense of my supine pleasures      
without retrenching it2 going to the    
coffee-house but every other day1 and to
 the theatre but twice a week4  ,with   
respect to the expenses of girls of easy
 virtue1 ,i had no retrenchment to make2
 never having in the whole course of my 
life applied so much as a farthing to   
that use except once1 of which ,i shall 
soon have occasion to speak4  ,the      
security1 voluptuousness1 and confidence
 with which ,i gave myself up to this   
indolent and solitary life1 which ,i had
 not the means of continuing for three  
months1 is one of the singularities of  
my life1 and the oddities of my         
disposition4  ,the extreme desire ,i    
had1 the public should think of me was  
precisely what discouraged me from      

showing myself2 and the necessity of    
paying visits rendered them to such a   
degree insupportable1 that ,i ceased    
visiting the academicians and other men 
of letters1 with whom ,i had cultivated 
an acquaintance4  ,marivaux1 the ,abbe  
,malby1 and ,fontenelle1 were almost the
 only persons whom ,i sometimes went to 
see4  ,to the first ,i showed my comedy 
of ,narcissus4  ,he was pleased with it1
 and had the goodness to make in it some
 improvements4  ,diderot1 younger than  
these1 was much about my own age4  ,he  
was fond of music1 and knew it          
theoretically2 we conversed together1   
and he communicated to me some of his   
literary projects4  ,this soon formed   
betwixt us a more intimate connection1  
which lasted fifteen years1 and which   
probably would still exist were not ,i1 
unfortunately1 and by his own fault1 of 
the same profession with himself4  ,it  
would be impossible to imagine in what  
manner ,i employed this short and       
precious interval which still remained  

to me1 before circumstances forced me to
 beg my bread3--in learning by memory   
passages from the poets which ,i had    
learned and forgotten a hundred times4  
,every morning at ten o'clock1 ,i went  
to walk in the ,luxembourg with a       
,virgil and a ,rousseau in my pocket1   
and there1 until the hour of dinner1 ,i 
passed away the time in restoring to my 
memory a sacred ode or a bucolic1       
without being discouraged by forgetting1
 by the study of the morning1 what ,i   
had learned the evening before4  ,i     
recollected that after the defeat of    
,nicias at ,syracuse the captive        
,athenians obtained a livelihood by     
reciting the poems of ,homer4  ,the use 
,i made of this erudition to ward off   
misery was to exercise my happy memory  
by learning all the poets by rote4  ,i  
had another expedient1 not less solid1  
in the game of chess1 to which ,i       
regularly dedicated1 at ,maugis1 the    
evenings on which ,i did not go to the  
theatre4  ,i became acquainted with ,m4 

de ,legal1 ,m4 ,husson1 ,philidor1 and  
all the great chess players of the day1 
without making the least improvement in 
the game4  ,however1 ,i had no doubt    
but1 in the end1 ,i should become       
superior to them all1 and this1 in my   
own opinion1 was a sufficient resource4 
,the same manner of reasoning served me 
in every folly to which ,i felt myself  
inclined4  ,i said to myself3 whoever   
excels in anything is sure to acquire a 
distinguished reception in society4     
,let us therefore excel1 no matter in   
what1 ,i shall certainly be sought      
after2 opportunities will present       
themselves1 and my own merit will do the
 rest4 ,this childishness was not the   
sophism of my reason2 it was that of my 
indolence4  ,dismayed at the great and  
rapid efforts which would have been     
necessary to call forth my endeavors1 ,i
 strove to flatter my idleness1 and by  
arguments suitable to the purpose1      
veiled from my own eyes the shame of    
such a state4  ,i thus calmly waited for

 the moment when ,i was to be without   
money2 and had not ,father ,castel1 whom
 ,i sometimes went to see in my way to  
the coffee-house1 roused me from my     
lethargy1 ,i believe ,i should have seen
 myself reduced to my last farthing     
without the least emotion4  ,father     
,castel was a madman1 but a good man    
upon the whole2 he was sorry to see me  
thus impoverish myself to no purpose4   
,since musicians and the learned1 said  
he1 do not sing by your scale1 change   
the string1 and apply to the women4     
,you will perhaps succeed better with   
them4  ,i have spoken of you to ,madam  
de ,beuzenval2 go to her from me2 she is
 a good woman who will be glad to see   
the countryman of her son and husband4  
,you will find at her house ,madam de   
,broglie1 her daughter1 who is a woman  
of wit4  ,madam ,dupin is another to    
whom ,i also have mentioned you2 carry  
her your work2 she is desirous of seeing
 you1 and will receive you well4  ,no   
thing is done in ,paris without the     

women4  ,they are the curves1 of which  
the wise are the asymptotes2 they       
incessantly approach each other1 but    
never touch4  ,after having from day to 
day delayed these very disagreeable     
steps1 ,i at length took courage1 and   
called upon ,madam de ,beuzenval4  ,she 
received me with kindness2 and ,madam de
 ,broglio entering the chamber1 she said
 to her3 ,daughter1 this is ,m4         
,rousseau1 of whom ,father ,castel has  
spoken to us4  ,madam de ,broglie       
complimented me upon my work1 and going 
to her harpsichord proved to me she had 
already given it some attention4        
,perceiving it to be about one o'clock1 
,i prepared to take my leave4 ,madam de 
,beuzenval said to me3 ,you are at a    
great distance from the quarter of the  
town in which you reside2 stay and dine 
here4  ,i did not want asking a second  
time4  ,a quarter of an hour afterwards1
 ,i understood1 by a word1 that the     
dinner to which she had invited me was  
that of her servants' hall4  ,madam de  

,beuzenval was a very good kind of      
woman1 but of a confined understanding1 
and too full of her illustrious ,polish 
nobility3 she had no idea of the respect
 due to talents4  ,on this occasion1    
likewise1 she judged me by my manner    
rather than by my dress1 which1 although
 very plain1 was very neat1 and by no   
means announced a man to dine with      
servants4  ,i had too long forgotten the
 way to the place where they eat to be  
inclined to take it again4  ,without    
suffering my anger to appear1 ,i told   
,madam de ,beuzenval that ,i had an     
affair of a trifling nature which ,i had
 just recollected obliged me to return  
home1 and ,i immediately prepared to    
depart4  ,madam de ,broglie approached  
her mother1 and whispered in her ear a  
few words which had their effect4 ,madam
 de ,beuzenval rose to prevent me from  
going1 and said1 ,i expect that you will
 do us the honor to dine with us4  ,in  
this case ,i thought to show pride would
 be a mark of folly1 and ,i determined  

to stay4  ,the goodness of ,madam de    
,broglie had besides made an impression 
upon me1 and rendered her interesting in
 my eyes4  ,i was very glad to dine with
 her1 and hoped1 that when she knew me  
better1 she would not regret having     
procured me that honor4  ,the ,president
 de ,lamoignon1 very intimate in the    
family1 dined there also4  ,he1 as well 
as ,madam de ,broglie1 was a master of  
all the modish and fashionable small    
talk jargon of ,paris4  ,poor ,jean     
,jacques was unable to make a figure in 
this way4  ,i had sense enough not to   
pretend to it1 and was silent4  ,happy  
would it have been for me1 had ,i always
 possessed the same wisdom2 ,i should   
not be in the abyss into which ,i am now
 fallen4  ,i was vexed at my own        
stupidity1 and at being unable to       
justify to ,madam de ,broglie what she  
had done in my favor4  ,after dinner ,i 
thought of my ordinary resource4  ,i had
 in my pocket an epistle in verse1      
written to ,parisot during my residence 

at ,lyons4  ,this fragment was not      
without some fire1 which ,i increased by
 my manner of reading1 and made them all
 three shed tears4  ,whether it was     
vanity1 or really the truth1 ,i thought 
the eyes of ,madam de ,broglie seemed to
 say to her mother3 ,well1 mamma1 was ,i
 wrong in telling you this man was      
fitter to dine with us than with your   
women8  ,until then my heart had been   
rather burdened1 but after this revenge 
,i felt myself satisfied4  ,madam de    
,broglie1 carrying her favorable opinion
 of me rather too far1 thought ,i should
 immediately acquire fame in ,paris1 and
 become a favorite with fine ladies4    
,to guide my inexperience she gave me   
the confessions of the ,count de -----4 
,this book1 said she1 is a ,mentor1 of  
which you will stand in need in the     
great world4  ,you will do well by      
sometimes consulting it4  ,i kept the   
book upwards of twenty years with a     
sentiment of gratitude to her from whose
 hand ,i had received it1 although ,i   

frequently laughed at the opinion the   
lady seemed to have of my merit in      
gallantry4  ,from the moment ,i had read
 the work1 ,i was desirous of acquiring 
the friendship of the author4  ,my      
inclination led me right2 he is the only
 real friend ,i ever possessed amongst  
men of letters4       ,i have so long   
been of the same opinion1 and so        
perfectly convinced      of its being   
well founded1 that since my return to   
,paris ,i confided      to him the      
manuscript of my confessions4  ,the     
suspicious ,j4 ,j4      never suspected 
perfidy and falsehood until he had been 
their      victim4  ,from this time ,i  
thought ,i might depend on the services 
of ,madam the ,baroness of ,beuzenval1  
and the ,marchioness of ,broglie1 and   
that they would not long leave me       
without resource4  ,in this ,i was not  
deceived4 ,but ,i must now speak of my  
first visit to ,madam ,dupin1 which     
produced more lasting consequences4     
,madam ,dupin was1 as every one in      

,paris knows1 the daughter of ,samuel   
,bernard and ,madam ,fontaine4  ,there  
were three sisters1 who might be called 
the three graces4  ,madam de la ,touche 
who played a little prank1 and went to  
,england with the ,duke of ,kingston4   
,madam ,darby1 the eldest of the three2 
the friend1 the only sincere friend of  
the ,prince of ,conti2 an adorable      
woman1 as well by her sweetness and the 
goodness of her charming character1 as  
by her agreeable wit and incessant      
cheerfulness4 ,lastly1 ,madam ,dupin1   
more beautiful than either of her       
sisters1 and the only one who has not   
been reproached with some levity of     
conduct4  ,she was the reward of the    
hospitality of ,m4 ,dupin1 to whom her  
mother gave her in marriage with the    
place of farmer general and an immense  
fortune1 in return for the good         
reception he had given her in his       
province4  ,when ,i saw her for the     
first time1 she was still one of the    
finest women in ,paris4  ,she received  

me at her toilette1 her arms were       
uncovered1 her hair dishevelled1 and her
 combing-cloth ill-arranged4 ,this scene
 was new to me2 it was too powerful for 
my poor head1 ,i became confused1 my    
senses wandered2 in short1 ,i was       
violently smitten by ,madam ,dupin4  ,my
 confusion was not prejudicial to me2   
she did not perceive it4  ,she kindly   
received the book and the author2 spoke 
with information of my plan1 sung1      
accompanied herself on the harpsichord1 
kept me to dinner1 and placed me at     
table by her side4  ,less than this     
would have turned my brain2 ,i became   
mad4  ,she permitted me to visit her1   
and ,i abused the permission4  ,i went  
to see her almost every day1 and dined  
with her twice or thrice a week4  ,i    
burned with inclination to speak1 but   
never dared attempt it4  ,several       
circumstances increased my natural      
timidity4 ,permission to visit in an    
opulent family was a door open to       
fortune1 and in my situation ,i was     

unwilling to run the risk of shutting it
 against myself4  ,madam ,dupin1 amiable
 as she was1 was serious and unanimated2
 ,i found nothing in her manners        
sufficiently alluring to embolden me4   
,her house1 at that time1 as brilliant  
as any other in ,paris1 was frequented  
by societies the less numerous1 as the  
persons by whom they were composed were 
chosen on account of some distinguished 
merit4  ,she was fond of seeing every   
one who had claims to a marked          
superiority2 the great men of letters1  
and fine women4  ,no person was seen in 
her circle but dukes1 ambassadors1 and  
blue ribbons4  ,the ,princess of ,rohan1
 the ,countess of ,forcalquier1 ,madam  
de ,mirepoix1 ,madam de ,brignole1 and  
,lady ,hervey1 passed for her intimate  
friends4  ,the ,abbes de ,fontenelle1 de
 ,saint ,pierre1 and ,saltier1 ,m4 de   
,fourmont1 ,m4 de ,berms1 ,m4 de        
,buffon1 and ,m4 de ,voltaire1 were of  
her circle and her dinners4  ,if her    
reserved manner did not attract many    

young people1 her society inspired the  
greater awe1 as it was composed of      
graver persons1 and the poor            
,jean-,jacques had no reason to flatter 
himself he should be able to take a     
distinguished part in the midst of such 
superior talents4  ,i therefore had not 
courage to speak2 but no longer able to 
contain myself1 ,i took a resolution to 
write4  ,for the first two days she said
 not a word to me upon the subject4  ,on
 the third day1 she returned me my      
letter1 accompanying it with a few      
exhortations which froze my blood4  ,i  
attempted to speak1 but my words expired
 upon my lips2 my sudden passion was    
extinguished with my hopes1 and after a 
declaration in form ,i continued to live
 with her upon the same terms as before1
 without so much as speaking to her even
 by the language of the eyes4  ,i       
thought my folly was forgotten1 but ,i  
was deceived4  ,m4 de ,francueil1 son to
 ,m4 ,dupin1 and son-in-law to ,madam   
,dupin1 was much the same with herself  

and me4  ,he had wit1 a good person1 and
 might have pretensions4 ,this was said 
to be the case1 and probably proceeded  
from his mother-in-law's having given   
him an ugly wife of a mild disposition1 
with whom1 as well as with her husband1 
she lived upon the best of terms4  ,m4  
de ,francueil was fond of talents in    
others1 and cultivated those he         
possessed4  ,music1 which he understood 
very well1 was a means of producing a   
connection between us4  ,i frequently   
saw him1 and he soon gained my          
friendship4  ,he1 however1 suddenly gave
 me to understand that ,madam ,dupin    
thought my visits too frequent1 and     
begged me to discontinue them4  ,such a 
compliment would have been proper when  
she returned my letter2 but eight or ten
 days afterwards1 and without any new   
cause1 it appeared to me ill-timed4     
,this rendered my situation the more    
singular1 as ,m4 and ,madam de          
,francueil still continued to give me   
the same good reception as before4  ,i  

however made the intervals between my   
visits longer1 and ,i should entirely   
have ceased calling on them1 had not    
,madam ,dupin1 by another unexpected    
caprice1 sent to desire ,i would for a  
few days take care of her son1 who      
changing his preceptor1 remained alone  
during that interval4 ,i passed eight   
days in such torments as nothing but the
 pleasure of obeying ,madam ,dupin could
 render supportable3 ,i would not have  
undertaken to pass eight other days like
 them had ,madam ,dupin given me herself
 for the recompense4  ,m4 de ,francueil 
conceived a friendship for me1 and ,i   
studied with him4 ,we began together a  
course of chemistry at ,rouelles4  ,that
 ,i might be nearer at hand1 ,i left my 
hotel at ,quentin1 and went to lodge at 
the ,tennis ,court1 ,rue ,verdelet1     
which leads into the ,rue ,platiere1    
where ,m4 ,dupin lived4  ,there1 in     
consequence of a cold neglected1 ,i     
contracted an inflammation of the lungs 
that had liked to have carried me off4  

,in my younger days ,i frequently       
suffered from inflammatory disorders1   
pleurisies1 and especially quinsies1 to 
which ,i was very subject1 and which    
frequently brought me near enough to    
death to familiarize me to its image4   
,during my convalescence ,i had leisure 
to reflect upon my situation1 and to    
lament my timidity1 weakness and        
indolence2 these1 notwithstanding the   
fire with which ,i found myself         
inflamed1 left me to languish in an     
inactivity of mind1 continually on the  
verge of misery4  ,the evening preceding
 the day on which ,i was taken ill1 ,i  
went to an opera by ,royer2 the name ,i 
have forgotten4  ,notwithstanding my    
prejudice in favor of the talents of    
others1 which has ever made me          
distrustful of my own1 ,i still thought 
the music feeble1 and devoid of         
animation and invention4  ,i sometimes  
had the vanity to flatter myself3 ,i    
think ,i could do better than that4     
,but the terrible idea ,i had formed of 

the composition of an opera1 and the    
importance ,i heard men of the          
profession affix to such an undertaking1
 instantly discouraged me1 and made me  
blush at having so much as thought of   
it4  ,besides1 where was ,i to find a   
person to write the words1 and one who  
would give himself the trouble of       
turning the poetry to my liking8  ,these
 ideas of music and the opera had       
possession of my mind during my illness1
 and in the delirium of my fever ,i     
composed songs1 duets1 and choruses4  ,i
 am certain ,i composed two or three    
little pieces1 'di prima infenzione'1   
perhaps worthy of the admiration of     
masters1 could they have heard them     
executed4  ,oh1 could an account be     
taken of the dreams of a man in a fever1
 what great and sublime things would    
sometimes proceed from his delirium6    
,these subjects of music and opera still
 engaged my attention during my         
convalescence1 but my ideas were less   
energetic4  ,long and frequent          

meditations1 and which were often       
involuntary1 and made such an impression
 upon my mind that ,i resolved to       
attempt both words and music4 ,this was 
not the first time ,i had undertaken so 
difficult a task4  ,whilst ,i was at    
,chambery ,i had composed an opera      
entitled ',iphis and ,anaxarete'1 which 
,i had the good sense to throw into the 
fire4  ,at ,lyons ,i had composed       
another1 entitled ',la ,decouverte du   
,nouveau ,monde'1 which1 after having   
read it to ,m4 ,bordes1 the ,abbes      
,malby1 ,trublet1 and others1 had met   
the same fate1 notwithstanding ,i had   
set the prologue and the first act to   
music1 and although ,david1 after       
examining the composition1 had told me  
there were passages in it worthy of     
,buononcini4  ,before ,i began the work 
,i took time to consider of my plan4    
,in a heroic ballet ,i proposed three   
different subjects1 in three acts1      
detached from each other1 set to music  
of a different character1 taking for    

each subject the amours of a poet4  ,i  
entitled this opera ,les ,muses         
,galantes4 ,my first act1 in music      
strongly characterized1 was ,tasso2 the 
second in tender harmony1 ,ovid2 and the
 third1 entitled ,anacreon1 was to      
partake of the gayety of the            
dithyrambus4  ,i tried my skill on the  
first act1 and applied to it with an    
ardor which1 for the first time1 made me
 feel the delightful sensation produced 
by the creative power of composition4   
,one evening1 as ,i entered the opera1  
feeling myself strongly incited and     
overpowered by my ideas1 ,i put my money
 again into my pocket1 returned to my   
apartment1 locked the door1 and1 having 
close drawn all the curtains1 that every
 ray of light might be excluded1 ,i went
 to bed1 abandoning myself entirely to  
this musical and poetical 'oestrum'1 and
 in seven or eight hours rapidly        
composed the greatest part of an act4   
,i can truly say my love for the        
,princess of ,ferrara 7for ,i was ,tasso

 for the moment7 and my noble and lofty 
sentiment with respect to her unjust    
brother1 procured me a night a hundred  
times more delicious than one passed in 
the arms of the princess would have     
been4  ,in the morning but a very little
 of what ,i had done remained in my     
head1 but this little1 almost effaced by
 sleep and lassitude1 still sufficiently
 evinced the energy of the pieces of    
which it was the scattered remains4  ,i 
this time did1 not proceed far with my  
undertaking1 being interrupted by other 
affairs4  ,whilst ,i attached myself to 
the family of ,dupin1 ,madam de         
,beuzenval and ,madam de ,broglie1 whom 
,i continued to visit1 had not forgotten
 me4  ,the ,count de ,montaigu1 captain 
in the guards1 had just been appointed  
ambassador to ,venice4  ,he was an      
ambassador made by ,barjac1 to whom he  
assiduously paid his court4  ,his       
brother1 the ,chevalier de ,montaigu1   
'gentilhomme de la manche' to the       
dauphin1 was acquainted with these      

ladies1 and with the ,abbe ,alary of the
 ,french academy1 whom ,i sometimes     
visited4  ,madam de ,broglie having     
heard the ambassador was seeking a      
secretary1 proposed me to him4  ,a      
conference was opened between us4  ,i   
asked a salary of fifty guineas1 a      
trifle for an employment which required 
me to make some appearance4  ,the       
ambassador was unwilling to give more   
than a thousand livres1 leaving me to   
make the journey at my own expense4     
,the proposal was ridiculous4  ,we could
 not agree1 and ,m4 de ,francueil1 who  
used all his efforts to prevent my      
departure1 prevailed4  ,i stayed1 and   
,m4 de ,montaigu set out on his journey1
 taking with him another secretary1 one 
,m4 ,follau1 who had been recommended to
 him by the office of foreign affairs4  
,they no sooner arrived at ,venice than 
they quarrelled4  ,bollau perceiving he 
had to do with a madman1 left him there1
 and ,m4 de ,montaigu having nobody with
 him1 except a young abbe of the name of

 ,binis1 who wrote under the secretary1 
and was unfit to succeed him1 had       
recourse to me4  ,the chevalier1 his    
brother1 a man of wit1 by giving me to  
understand there were advantages annexed
 to the place of secretary1 prevailed   
upon me to accept the thousand livres4  
,i was paid twenty louis in advance for 
my journey1 and immediately departed4   
,at ,lyons ,i would most willingly have 
taken the road to ,mount ,cenis1 to see 
my poor mamma4  ,but ,i went down the   
,rhone1 and embarked at ,toulon1 as well
 on account of the war1 and from a      
motive of economy1 as to obtain a       
passport from ,m4 de ,mirepoix1 who then
 commanded in ,provence1 and to whom ,i 
was recommended4  ,m4 de ,montaigu not  
being able to do without me1 wrote      
letter after letter1 desiring ,i would  
hasten my journey2 this1 however1 an    
accident considerably prolonged4  ,it   
was at the time of the plague at        
,messina1 and the ,english fleet had    
anchored there1 and visited the         

,felucca1 on board of which ,i was1 and 
this circumstance subjected us1 on our  
arrival1 after a long and difficult     
voyage1 to a quarantine of              
one--and--twenty days4  ,the passengers 
had the choice of performing it on board
 or in the ,lazaretto1 which we were    
told was not yet furnished4  ,they all  
chose the ,felucca4  ,the insupportable 
heat1 the closeness of the vessel1 the  
impossibility of walking in it1 and the 
vermin with which it swarmed1 made me at
 all risks prefer the ,lazaretto4  ,i   
was therefore conducted to a large      
building of two stories1 quite empty1 in
 which ,i found neither window1 bed1    
table1 nor chair1 not so much as even a 
joint-stool or bundle of straw4  ,my    
night sack and my two trunks being      
brought me1 ,i was shut in by great     
doors with huge locks1 and remained at  
full liberty to walk at my ease from    
chamber to chamber and story to story1  
everywhere finding the same solitude and
 nakedness4  ,this1 however1 did not    

induce me to repent that ,i had         
preferred the ,lazaretto to the         
,felucca2 and1 like another ,robinson   
,crusoe1 ,i began to arrange myself for 
my one-and twenty days1 just as ,i      
should have done for my whole life4  ,in
 the first place1 ,i had the amusement  
of destroying the vermin ,i had caught  
in the ,felucca4  ,as soon as ,i had got
 clear of these1 by means of changing my
 clothes and linen1 ,i proceeded to     
furnish the chamber ,i had chosen4  ,i  
made a good mattress with my waistcoats 
and shirts2 my napkins ,i converted1 by 
sewing them together1 into sheets2 my   
robe de chambre into a counterpane2 and 
my cloak into a pillow4  ,i made myself 
a seat with one of my trunks laid flat1 
and a table with the other4  ,i took out
 some writing paper and an inkstand1 and
 distributed1 in the manner of a        
library1 a dozen books which ,i had with
 me4  ,in a word1 ,i so well arranged my
 few movables1 that except curtains and 
windows1 ,i was almost as commodiously  

lodged in this ,lazeretto1 absolutely   
empty as it was1 as ,i had been at the  
,tennis ,court in the ,rue ,verdelet4   
,my dinners were served with no small   
degree of pomp2 they were escorted by   
two grenadiers with bayonets fixed2 the 
staircase was my dining--room1 the      
landing-place my table1 and the steps   
served me for a seat2 and as soon as my 
dinner was served up a little bell was  
rung to inform me ,i might sit down to  
table4  ,between my repasts1 when ,i did
 not either read or write or work at the
 furnishing of my apartment1 ,i went to 
walk in the burying-ground of the       
,protestants1 which served me as a      
courtyard4  ,from this place ,i ascended
 to a lanthorn which looked into the    
harbor1 and from which ,i could see the 
ships come in and go out4  ,in this     
manner ,i passed fourteen days1 and     
should have thus passed the whole time  
of the quarantine without the least     
weariness had not ,m4 ,joinville1 envoy 
from ,france1 to whom ,i found means to 

send a letter1 vinegared1 perfumed1 and 
half burnt1 procured eight days of the  
time to be taken off3 these ,i went and 
spent at his house1 where ,i confess ,i 
found myself better lodged than in the  
,lazaretto4  ,he was extremely civil to 
me4  ,dupont1 his secretary1 was a good 
creature3 he introduced me1 as well at  
,genoa as in the country1 to several    
families1 the company of which ,i found 
very entertaining and agreeable2 and ,i 
formed with him an acquaintance and a   
correspondence which we kept up for a   
considerable length of time4  ,i        
continued my journey1 very agreeably1   
through ,lombardy4  ,i saw ,milan1      
,verona1 ,brescie1 and ,padua1 and at   
length arrived at ,venice1 where ,i was 
impatiently expected by the ambassador4 
,i found there piles of despatches1 from
 the court and from other ambassadors1  
the ciphered part of which he had not   
been able to read1 although he had all  
the ciphers necessary for that purpose1 
never having been employed in any       

office1 nor even seen the cipher of a   
minister4  ,i was at first apprehensive 
of meeting with some embarrassment2 but 
,i found nothing could be more easy1 and
 in less than a week ,i had deciphered  
the whole1 which certainly was not worth
 the trouble2 for not to mention the    
little activity required in the embassy 
of ,venice1 it was not to such a man as 
,m4 de ,montaigu that government would  
confide a negotiation of even the most  
trifling importance4  ,until my arrival 
he had been much embarrassed1 neither   
knowing how to dictate nor to write     
legibly4  ,i was very useful to him1 of 
which he was sensible2 and he treated me
 well4  ,to this he was also induced by 
another motive4  ,since the time of ,m4 
de ,froulay1 his predecessor1 whose head
 became deranged1 the consul from       
,france1 ,m4 le ,blond1 had been charged
 with the affairs of the embassy1 and   
after the arrival of ,m4 de ,montaigu1  
continued to manage them until he had   
put him into the track4  ,m4 de         

,montaigu1 hurt at this discharge of his
 duty by another1 although he himself   
was incapable of it1 became disgusted   
with the consul1 and as soon as ,i      
arrived deprived him of the functions of
 secretary to the embassy to give them  
to me4  ,they were inseparable from the 
title1 and he told me to take it4  ,as  
long as ,i remained with him he never   
sent any person except myself under this
 title to the senate1 or to conference1 
and upon the whole it was natural enough
 he should prefer having for secretary  
to the embassy a man attached to him1 to
 a consul or a clerk of office named by 
the court4  ,this rendered my situation 
very agreeable1 and prevented his       
gentlemen1 who were ,italians1 as well  
as his pages1 and most of his suite from
 disputing precedence with me in his    
house4  ,i made an advantageous use of  
the authority annexed to the title he   
had conferred upon me1 by maintaining   
his right of protection1 that is1 the   
freedom of his neighborhood1 against the

 attempts several times made to infringe
 it2 a privilege which his ,venetian    
officers took no care to defend4 ,but ,i
 never permitted banditti to take refuge
 there1 although this would have        
produced me advantages of which his     
excellency would not have disdained to  
partake4  ,he thought proper1 however1  
to claim a part of those of the         
secretaryship1 which is called the      
chancery4  ,it was in time of war1 and  
there were many passports issued4  ,for 
each of these passports a sequin was    
paid to the secretary who made it out   
and countersigned it4  ,all my          
predecessors had been paid this sequin  
by ,frenchmen and others without        
distinction4  ,i thought this unjust1   
and although ,i was not a ,frenchman1 ,i
 abolished it in favor of the ,french2  
but ,i so rigorously demanded my right  
from persons of every other nation1 that
 the ,marquis de ,scotti1 brother to the
 favorite of the ,queen of ,spain1      
having asked for a passport without     

taking notice of the sequin3 ,i sent to 
demand it2 a boldness which the         
vindictive ,italian did not forget4  ,as
 soon as the new regulation ,i had made1
 relative to passports1 was known1 none 
but pretended ,frenchmen1 who in a      
gibberish the most mispronounced1 called
 themselves ,provencals1 ,picards1 or   
,burgundians1 came to demand them4  ,my 
ear being very fine1 ,i was not thus    
made a dupe1 and ,i am almost persuaded 
that not a single ,italian ever cheated 
me of my sequin1 and that not one       
,frenchman ever paid it4  ,i was foolish
 enough to tell ,m4 de ,montaigu1 who   
was ignorant of everything that passed1 
what ,i had done4  ,the word sequin made
 him open his ears1 and without giving  
me his opinion of the abolition of that 
tax upon the ,french1 he pretended ,i   
ought to account with him for the       
others1 promising me at the same time   
equivalent advantages4  ,more filled    
with indignation at this meanness1 than 
concern for my own interest1  ,i        

rejected his proposal4  ,he insisted1   
and ,i grew warm4  ,no1 sir1 said ,i1   
with some heat1 your excellency may keep
 what belongs to you1 but do not take   
from me that which is mine2 ,i will not 
suffer you to touch a penny of the      
perquisites arising from passports4     
,perceiving he could gain nothing by    
these means he had recourse to others1  
and blushed not to tell me that since ,i
 had appropriated to myself the profits 
of the chancery1 it was but just ,i     
should pay the expenses4  ,i was        
unwilling to dispute upon this subject1 
and from that time ,i furnished at my   
own expense1 ink1 paper1 wax1           
wax-candle1 tape1 and even a new seal1  
for which he never reimbursed me to the 
amount of a farthing4  ,this1 however1  
did not prevent my giving a small part  
of the produce of the passports to the  
,abbe de ,binis1 a good creature1 and   
who was far from pretending to have the 
least right to any such thing4  ,if he  
was obliging to me my politeness to him 

was an equivalent1 and we always lived  
together on the best of terms4  ,on the 
first trial ,i made of his talents in my
 official functions1 ,i found him less  
troublesome than ,i expected he would   
have been1 considering he was a man     
without experience1 in the service of an
 ambassador who possessed no more than  
himself1 and whose ignorance and        
obstinacy constantly counteracted       
everything with which common-sense and  
some information inspired me for his    
service and that of the king4  ,the next
 thing the ambassador did was to connect
 himself with the ,marquis ,mari1       
ambassador from ,spain1 an ingenious and
 artful man1 who1 had he wished so to   
do1 might have led him by the nose1 yet 
on account of the union of the interests
 of the two crowns he generally gave him
 good advice1 which might have been of  
essential service1 had not the other1 by
 joining his own opinion1 counteracted  
it in the execution4  ,the only business
 they had to conduct in concert with    

each other was to engage the ,venetians 
to maintain their neutrality4  ,these   
did not neglect to give the strongest   
assurances of their fidelity to their   
engagement at the same time that they   
publicly furnished ammunition to the    
,austrian troops1 and even recruits     
under pretense of desertion4  ,m4 de    
,montaigu1 who ,i believe wished to     
render himself agreeable to the         
republic1 failed not on his part1       
notwithstanding my representation to    
make me assure the government in all my 
despatches1 that the ,venetians would   
never violate an article of the         
neutrality4  ,the obstinacy and         
stupidity of this poor wretch made me   
write and act extravagantly3 ,i was     
obliged to be the agent of his folly1   
because he would have it so1 but he     
sometimes rendered my employment        
insupportable and the functions of it   
almost impracticable4 ,for example1 he  
insisted on the greatest part of his    
despatches to the king1 and of those to 

the minister1 being written in cipher1  
although neither of them contained      
anything that required that precaution4 
,i represented to him that between the  
,friday1 the day the despatches from the
 court arrived1 and ,saturday1 on which 
ours were sent off1 there was not       
sufficient time to write so much in     
cipher1 and carry on the considerable   
correspondence with which ,i was charged
 for the same courier4  ,he found an    
admirable expedient1 which was to       
prepare on ,thursday the answer to the  
despatches we were expected to receive  
on the next day4  ,this appeared to him 
so happily imagined1 that               
notwithstanding all ,i could say on the 
impossibility of the thing1 and the     
absurdity of attempting its execution1  
,i was obliged to comply during the     
whole time ,i afterwards remained with  
him1 after having made notes of the few 
loose words he spoke to me in the course
 of the week1 and of some trivial       
circumstances which ,i collected by     

hurrying from place to place4 ,provided 
with these materials ,i never once      
failed carrying to him on the ,thursday 
morning a rough draft of the despatches 
which were to be sent off on ,saturday1 
excepting the few additions and         
corrections ,i hastily made in answer to
 the letters which arrived on the       
,friday1 and to which ours served for   
answer4  ,he had another custom1        
diverting enough and which made his     
correspondence ridiculous beyond        
imagination4  ,he sent back all         
information to its respective source1   
instead of making it follow its course4 
,to ,m4 ,amelot he transmitted the news 
of the court2 to ,m4 ,maurepas1 that of 
,paris2 to ,m4 d' ,havrincourt1 the news
 from ,sweden2 to ,m4 de ,chetardie1    
that from ,petersbourg2 and sometimes to
 each of those the news they had        
respectively sent to him1 and which ,i  
was employed to dress up in terms       
different from those in which it was    
conveyed to us4 ,as he read nothing of  

what ,i laid before him1 except the     
despatches for the court1 and signed    
those to other ambassadors without      
reading them1 this left me more at      
liberty to give what turn ,i thought    
proper to the latter1 and in these      
therefore ,i made the articles of       
information cross each other4  ,but it  
was impossible for-me to do the same by 
despatches of importance2 and ,i thought
 myself happy when ,m4 de ,montaigu did 
not take it into his head to cram into  
them an impromptu of a few lines after  
his manner4  ,this obliged me to return1
 and hastily transcribe the whole       
despatch decorated with his new         
nonsense1 and honor it with the cipher1 
without which he would have refused his 
signature4  ,i was frequently almost    
tempted1 for the sake of his reputation1
 to cipher something different from what
 he had written1 but feeling that       
nothing could authorize such a          
deception1 ,i left him to answer for his
 own folly1 satisfying myself with      

having spoken to him with freedom1 and  
discharged at my own peril the duties of
 my station4  ,this is what ,i always   
did with an uprightness1 a zeal and     
courage1 which merited on his part a    
very different recompense from that     
which in the end ,i received from him4  
,it was time ,i should once be what     
,heaven1 which had endowed me with a    
happy disposition1 what the education   
that had been given me by the best of   
women1 and that ,i had given myself1 had
 prepared me for1 and ,i became so4     
,left to my own reflections1 without a  
friend or advice1 without experience1   
and in a foreign country1 in the service
 of a foreign nation1 surrounded by a   
crowd of knaves1 who1 for their own     
interest1 and to avoid the scandal of   
good example1 endeavored to prevail upon
 me to imitate them2 far from yielding  
to their solicitations1 ,i served       
,france well1 to which ,i owed nothing1 
and the ambassador still better1 as it  
was right and just ,i should do to the  

utmost of my power4  ,irreproachable in 
a post1 sufficiently exposed to censure1
 ,i merited and obtained the esteem of  
the republic1 that of all the           
ambassadors with whom we were in        
correspondence1 and the affection of the
 ,french who resided at ,venice1 not    
even excepting the consul1 whom with    
regret ,i supplanted in the functions   
which ,i knew belonged to him1 and which
 occasioned me more embarrassment than  
they afforded me satisfaction4  ,m4 de  
,montaigu1 confiding without reserve to 
the ,marquis ,mari1 who did not         
thoroughly understand his duty1         
neglected it to such a degree that      
without me the ,french who were at      
,venice would not have perceived that an
 ambassador from their nation resided   
there4  ,always put off without being   
heard when they stood in need of his    
protection1 they became disgusted and no
 longer appeared in his company or at   
his table1 to which indeed he never     
invited them4  ,i frequently did from   

myself what it was his duty to have     
done2 ,i rendered to the ,french1 who   
applied to me1 all the services in my   
power4  ,in any other country ,i should 
have done more1 but1 on account of my   
employment1 not being able to see       
persons in place1 ,i was often obliged  
to apply to the consul1 and the consul1 
who was settled in the country with his 
family1 had many persons to oblige1     
which prevented him from acting as he   
otherwise would have done4  ,however1   
perceiving him unwilling and afraid to  
speak1 ,i ventured hazardous measures1  
which sometimes succeeded4  ,i recollect
 one which still makes me laugh4  ,no   
person would suspect it was to me1 the  
lovers of the theatre at ,paris1 owe    
,coralline and her sister ,camille1     
nothing however1 can be more true4      
,veronese1 their father1 had engaged    
himself with his children in the        
,italian company1 and after having      
received two thousand livres for the    
expenses of his journey1 instead of     

setting out for ,france1 quietly        
continued at ,venice1 and accepted an   
engagement in the theatre of ,saint     
,luke1 to which ,coralline1 a child as  
she still was1 drew great numbers of    
people4  ,the ,duke de ,greves1 as first
 gentleman of the chamber1 wrote to the 
ambassador to claim the father and the  
daughter4  ,m4 de ,montaigu when he gave
 me the letter1 confined his            
instructions to saying1 'voyez cela'1   
examine and pay attention to this4  ,i  
went to ,m4 ,blond to beg he would speak
 to the patrician1 to whom the theatre  
belonged1 and who1 ,i believe1 was named
 ,zustinian1 that he might discharge    
,veronese1 who had engaged in the name  
of the king4  ,le ,blond1 to whom the   
commission was not very agreeable1      
executed it badly4  ,zustinian answered 
vaguely1 and ,veronese was not          
discharged4  ,i was piqued at this4  ,it
 was during the carnival1 and having    
taken the bahute and a mask1 ,i set out 
for the palace ,zustinian4  ,those who  

saw my gondola arrive with the livery of
 the ambassador1 were lost in           
astonishment4 ,venice had never seen    
such a thing4  ,i entered1 and caused   
myself to be announced by the name of   
',una ,siora ,masehera'4  ,as soon as ,i
 was introduced ,i took off my mask and 
told my name4  ,the senator turned pale 
and appeared stupefied with surprise4   
,sir2 said ,i to him in ,venetian1 it is
 with much regret ,i importune your     
excellency with this visit2 but you have
 in your theatre of ,saint ,luke1 a man 
of the name of ,veronese1 who is engaged
 in the service of the king1 and whom   
you have been requested1 but in vain1 to
 give up3 ,i come to claim him in the   
name of his majesty4  ,my short harangue
 was effectual4  ,i had no sooner left  
the palace than ,zustinian ran to       
communicate the adventure to the state  
inquisitors1 by whom he was severely    
reprehended4  ,veronese was discharged  
the same day4  ,i sent him word that if 
he did not set off within a week ,i     

would have him arrested4  ,he did not   
wait for my giving him this intimation a
 second time4  ,on another occasion ,i  
relieved from difficulty solely by my   
own means1 and almost without the       
assistance of any other person1 the     
captain of a merchant-ship4  ,this was  
one ,captain ,olivet1 from ,marseilles2 
the name of the vessel ,i have          
forgotten4  ,his men had quarreled with 
the ,sclavonians in the service of the  
republic1 some violence had been        
committed1 and the vessel was under so  
severe an embargo that nobody except the
 master was suffered to go on board or  
leave it without permission4  ,he       
applied to the ambassador1 who would    
hear nothing he had to say4  ,he        
afterwards went to the consul1 who told 
him it was not an affair of commerce1   
and that he could not interfere in it4  
,not knowing what further steps to take 
he applied to me4  ,i told ,m4 de       
,montaigu he ought to permit me to lay  
before the senate a memoir on the       

subject4  ,i do not recollect whether or
 not he consented1 or that ,i presented 
the memoir2 but ,i perfectly remember   
that if ,i did it was ineffectual1 and  
the embargo still continuing1 ,i took   
another method1 which succeeded4  ,i    
inserted a relation of the affairs in   
one of our letters to ,m4 de ,maurepas1 
though ,i had difficulty in prevailing  
upon ,m4 de ,montaigne to suffer the    
article to pass4  ,i knew that our      
despatches1 although their contents were
 insignificant1 were opened at ,venice4 
,of this ,i had a proof by finding the  
articles they contained1 verbatim in the
 gazette1 a treachery of which ,i had in
 vain attempted to prevail upon the     
ambassador to complain4  ,my object in  
speaking of the affair in the letter was
 to turn the curiosity of the ministers 
of the republic to advantage1 to inspire
 them with some apprehensions1 and to   
induce the state to release the vessel3 
for had it been necessary to this effect
 to wait for an answer from the court1  

the captain would have been ruined      
before it could have arrived4  ,i did   
still more1 ,i went alongside the vessel
 to make inquiries of the ship's        
company4  ,i took with me the ,abbe     
,patizel1 chancellor of the consulship1 
who would rather have been excused1 so  
much were these poor creatures afraid of
 displeasing the ,senate4  ,as ,i could 
not go on board1 on account of the order
 from the states1 ,i remained in my     
gondola1 and there took the depositions 
successively1 interrogating each of the 
mariners1 and directing my questions in 
such a manner as to produce answers     
which might be to their advantage4  ,i  
wished to prevail upon ,patizel to put  
the questions and take depositions      
himself1 which in fact was more his     
business than mine2 but to this he would
 not consent2 he never once opened his  
mouth and refused to sign the           
depositions after me4  ,this step1      
somewhat bold1 was however1 successful1 
and the vessel was released long before 

an answer came from the minister4  ,the 
captain wished to make me a present2 but
 without being angry with him on that   
account1 ,i tapped him on the shoulder1 
saying1 ,captain ,olivet1 can you       
imagine that he who does not receive    
from the ,french his perquisite for     
passports1 which he found his           
established right1 is a man likely to   
sell them the king's protection8  ,he1  
however1 insisted on giving me a dinner 
on board his vessel1 which ,i accepted1 
and took with me the secretary to the   
,spanish embassy1 ,m4 ,carrio1 a man of 
wit and amiable manners1 to partake of  
it3 he has since been secretary to the  
,spanish embassy at ,paris and charge   
des affaires4  ,i had formed an intimate
 connection with him after the example  
of our ambassadors4  ,happy should ,i   
have been1 if1 when in the most         
disinterested manner ,i did all the     
service ,i could1 ,i had known how to   
introduce sufficient order into all     
these little details1 that ,i might not 

have served others at my own expense4   
,but in employments similar to that ,i  
held1 in which the most trifling faults 
are of consequence1 my whole attention  
was engaged in avoiding all such        
mistakes as might be detrimental to my  
service4  ,i conducted1 till the last   
moment1 everything relative to my       
immediate duty1 with the greatest order 
and exactness4  ,excepting a few errors 
which a forced precipitation made me    
commit in ciphering1 and of which the   
clerks of ,m4 ,amelot once complained1  
neither the ambassador nor any other    
person had ever the least reason to     
reproach me with negligence in any one  
of my functions4  ,this is remarkable in
 a man so negligent as ,i am4  ,but my  
memory sometimes failed me1 and ,i was  
not sufficiently careful in the private 
affairs with which ,i was charged2      
however1 a love of justice always made  
me take the loss on myself1 and this    
voluntarily1 before anybody thought of  
complaining4  ,i will mention but one   

circumstance of this nature2 it relates 
to my departure from ,venice1 and ,i    
afterwards felt the effects of it in    
,paris4  ,our cook1 whose name was      
,rousselot1 had brought from ,france an 
old note for two hundred livres1 which a
 hairdresser1 a friend of his1 had      
received from a noble ,venetian of the  
name of ,zanetto ,nani1 who had had wigs
 of him to that amount4  ,rousselot     
brought me the note1 begging ,i would   
endeavor to obtain payment of some part 
of it1 by way of accommodation4  ,i     
knew1 and he knew it also1 that the     
constant custom of noble ,venetians was1
 when once returned to their country1   
never to pay the debts they had         
contracted abroad4  ,when means are     
taken to force them to payment1 the     
wretched creditor finds so many delays1 
and incurs such enormous expenses1 that 
he becomes disgusted and concludes by   
giving up his debtor accepting the most 
trifling composition4  ,i begged ,m4 le 
,blond to speak to ,zanetto4  ,the      

,venetian acknowledged the note1 but did
 not agree to payment4  ,after a long   
dispute he at length promised three     
sequins2 but when ,le ,blond carried him
 the note even these were not ready1 and
 it was necessary to wait4  ,in this    
interval happened my quarrel with the   
ambassador and ,i quitted his service4  
,i had left the papers of the embassy in
 the greatest order1 but the note of    
,rousselot was not to be found4  ,m4 le 
,blond assured me he had given it me    
back4  ,i knew him to be too honest a   
man to have the least doubt of the      
matter2 but it was impossible for me to 
recollect what ,i had done with it4  ,as
 ,zanetto had acknowledged the debt1 ,i 
desired ,m4 le ,blond to endeavor to    
obtain from him the three sequins on    
giving him a receipt for the amount1 or 
to prevail upon him to renew the note by
 way of duplicate4  ,zanetto1 knowing   
the note to be lost1 would not agree to 
either4  ,i offered ,rousselot the three
 sequins from my own purse1 as a        

discharge of the debt4  ,he refused     
them1 and said ,i might settle the      
matter with the creditor at ,paris1 of  
whom he gave me the address4  ,the      
hair-dresser1 having been informed of   
what had passed1 would either have his  
note or the whole sum for which it was  
given4  ,what1 in my indignation1 would 
,i have given to have found this        
vexatious paper6  ,i paid the two       
hundred livres1 and that in my greatest 
distress4  ,in this manner the loss of  
the note produced to the creditor the   
payment of the whole sum1 whereas had   
it1 unfortunately for him1 been found1  
he would have had some difficulty in    
recovering even the ten crowns1 which   
his excellency1 ,zanetto ,nani1 had     
promised to pay4  ,the talents ,i       
thought ,i felt in myself for my        
employment made me discharge the        
functions of it with satisfaction1 and  
except the society of my friend de      
,carrio1 that of the virtuous ,altuna1  
of whom ,i shall soon have an occasion  

to speak1 the innocent recreations of   
the place ,saint ,mark1 of the theatre1 
and of a few visits which we1 for the   
most part1 made together1 my only       
pleasure was in the duties of my        
station4 ,although these were not       
considerable1 especially with the aid of
 the ,abbe de ,binis1 yet as the        
correspondence was very extensive and   
there was a war1 ,i was a good deal     
employed4  ,i applied to business the   
greatest part of every morning1 and on  
the days previous to the departure of   
the courier1 in the evenings1 and       
sometimes till midnight4  ,the rest of  
my time ,i gave to the study of the     
political professions ,i had entered    
upon1 and in which ,i hoped1 from my    
successful beginning1 to be             
advantageously employed4  ,in fact ,i   
was in favor with every one2 the        
ambassador himself spoke highly of my   
services1 and never complained of       
anything ,i did for him2 his            
dissatisfaction proceeded from my having

 insisted on quitting him1 inconsequence
 of the useless complaints ,i had       
frequently made on several occasions4   
,the ambassadors and ministers of the   
king with whom we were in correspondence
 complimented him on the merit of his   
secretary1 in a manner by which he ought
 to have been flattered1 but which in   
his poor head produced quite a contrary 
effect4  ,he received one in particular 
relative to an affair of importance1 for
 which he never pardoned me4  ,he was so
 incapable of bearing the least         
constraint1 that on the ,saturday1 the  
day of the despatches for most of the   
courts he could not contain himself1 and
 wait till the business was done before 
he went out1 and incessantly pressing me
 to hasten the despatches to the king   
and ministers1 he signed them with      
precipitation1 and immediately went ,i  
know not where1 leaving most of the     
other letters without signing2 this     
obliged me1 when these contained nothing
 but news1 to convert them into         

journals2 but when affairs which related
 to the king were in question it was    
necessary somebody should sign1 and ,i  
did it4  ,this once happened relative to
 some important advice we had just      
received from ,m4 ,vincent1 charge des  
affaires from the king1 at ,vienna4     
,the ,prince ,lobkowitz was then        
marching to ,naples1 and ,count ,gages  
had just made the most memorable        
retreat1 the finest military manoeuvre  
of the whole century1 of which ,europe  
has not sufficiently spoken4  ,the      
despatch informed us that a man1 whose  
person ,m4 ,vincent described1 had set  
out from ,vienna1 and was to pass by    
,venice1 in his way into ,abruzzo1 where
 he was secretly to stir up the people  
at the approach of the ,austrians4  ,in 
the absence of ,m4 le ,comte de         
,montaigu1 who did not give himself the 
least concern about anything1 ,i        
forwarded this advice to the ,marquis de
 l',hopital1 so apropos1 that it is     
perhaps to the poor ,jean ,jacques1 so  

abused and laughed at1 that the house of
 ,bourbon owes the preservation of the  
kingdom of ,naples4  ,the ,marquis de   
l',hopital1 when he thanked his         
colleague1 as it was proper he should   
do1 spoke to him of his secretary1 and  
mentioned the service he had just       
rendered to the common cause4  ,the     
,comte de ,montaigu1 who in that affair 
had to reproach himself with negligence1
 thought he perceived in the compliment 
paid him by ,m4 de l',hopital1 something
 like a reproach1 and spoke of it to me 
with signs of ill-humor4  ,i found it   
necessary to act in the same manner with
 the ,count de ,castellane1 ambassador  
at ,constantinople1 as ,i had done with 
the ,marquis de l',hopital1 although in 
things of less importance4  ,as there   
was no other conveyance to              
,constantinople than by couriers1 sent  
from time to time by the senate to its  
,bailli1 advice of their departure was  
given to the ambassador of ,france1 that
 he might write by them to his          

colleague1 if he thought proper so to   
do4  ,this advice was commonly sent a   
day or two beforehand2 but ,m4 de       
,montaigu was held in so little respect1
 that merely for the sake of form he was
 sent to1 a couple of hours before the  
couriers set off4  ,this frequently     
obliged me to write the despatch in his 
absence4 ,m4 de ,castellane1 in his     
answer made honorable mention of me2 ,m4
 de ,jonville1 at ,genoa1 did the same1 
and these instances of their regard and 
esteem became new grievances4  ,i       
acknowledge ,i did not neglect any      
opportunity of making myself known2 but 
,i never sought one improperly1 and in  
serving well ,i thought ,i had a right  
to aspire to the natural return for     
essential services2 the esteem of those 
capable of judging of1 and rewarding    
them4  ,i will not say whether or not my
 exactness in discharging the duties of 
my employment was a just subject of     
complaint from the ambassador2 but ,i   
cannot refrain from declaring that it   

was the sole grievance he ever mentioned
 previous to our separation4  ,his      
house1 which he had never put on a good 
footing1 was constantly filled with     
rabble2 the ,french were ill-treated in 
it1 and the ascendancy was given to the 
,italians2 of these even1 the more      
honest part1 they who had long been in  
the service of the embassy1 were        
indecently discharged1 his first        
gentleman in particular1 whom he had    
taken from the ,comte de ,froulay1 and  
who1 if ,i remember right1 was called   
,comte de ,peati1 or something very like
 that name4  ,the second gentleman1     
chosen by ,m4 de ,montaigu1 was an      
outlaw highwayman from ,mantua1 called  
,dominic ,vitali1 to whom the ambassador
 intrusted the care of his house1 and   
who had by means of flattery and sordid 
economy1 obtained his confidence1 and   
became his favorite to the great        
prejudice of the few honest people he   
still had about him1 and of the         
secretary who was at their head4  ,the  

countenance of an upright man always    
gives inquietude to knaves4  ,nothing   
more was necessary to make ,vitali      
conceive a hatred against me3 but for   
this sentiment there was still another  
cause which rendered it more cruel4  ,of
 this ,i must give an account1 that ,i  
may be condemned if ,i am found in the  
wrong4  ,the ambassador had1 according  
to custom1 a box at each of the         
theaters4 ,every day at dinner he named 
the theater to which it was his         
intention to go3 ,i chose after him1 and
 the gentlemen disposed of the other    
boxes4 ,when ,i went out ,i took the key
 of the box ,i had chosen4  ,one day1   
,vitali not being in the way1 ,i ordered
 the footman who attended on me1 to     
bring me the key to a house which ,i    
named to him4  ,vitali1 instead of      
sending the key1 said he had disposed of
 it4  ,i was the more enraged at this as
 the footman delivered his message in   
public4  ,in the evening ,vitali wished 
to make me some apology1 to which       

however ,i would not listen4            
,to--morrow1 sir1 said ,i to him1 you   
will come at such an hour and apologize 
to me in the house where ,i received the
 affront1 and in the presence of the    
persons who were witnesses to it2 or    
after to--morrow1 whatever may be the   
consequences1 either you or ,i will     
leave the house4 ,this firmness         
intimidated him4  ,he came to the house 
at the hour appointed1 and made me a    
public apology1 with a meanness worthy  
of himself4  ,but he afterwards took his
 measures at leisure1 and at the same   
time that he cringed to me in public1 he
 secretly acted in so vile a manner1    
that although unable to prevail on the  
ambassador to give me my dismission1 he 
laid me under the necessity of resolving
 to leave him4  ,a wretch like him1     
certainly1 could not know me1 but he    
knew enough of my character to make it  
serviceable to his purposes4  ,he knew  
,i was mild to an excess1 and patient in
 bearing involuntary wrongs2 but haughty

 and impatient when insulted with       
premeditated offences2 loving decency   
and dignity in things in which these    
were requisite1 and not more exact in   
requiring the respect due to myself1    
than attentive in rendering that which  
,i owed to others4  ,in this he         
undertook to disgust me1 and in this he 
succeeded4  ,he turned the house upside 
down1 and destroyed the order and       
subordination ,i had endeavored to      
establish in it4  ,a house without a    
woman stands in need of rather a severe 
discipline to preserve that modesty     
which is inseparable from dignity4  ,he 
soon converted ours into a place of     
filthy debauch and scandalous           
licentiousness1 the haunt of knaves and 
debauchees4  ,he procured for second    
gentleman to his excellency1 in the     
place of him whom he got discharged1    
another pimp like himself1 who kept a   
house of ill--fame1 at the ,cross of    
,malta2 and the indecency of these two  
rascals was equalled by nothing but     

their insolence4  ,except the           
bed-chamber of the ambassador1 which1   
however1 was not in very good order1    
there was not a corner in the whole     
house supportable to an modest man4  ,as
 his excellency did not sup1 the        
gentleman and myself had a private      
table1 at which the ,abbe ,binis and the
 pages also eat4  ,in the most paltry   
ale-house people are served with more   
cleanliness and decency1 have cleaner   
linen1 and a table better supplied4  ,we
 had but one little and very filthy     
candle1 pewter plates1 and iron forks4  
,i could have overlooked what passed in 
secret1 but ,i was deprived of my       
gondola4  ,i was the only secretary to  
an ambassador1 who was obliged to hire  
one or go on foot1 and the livery of his
 excellency no longer accompanied me1   
except when ,i went to the senate4      
,besides1 everything which passed in the
 house was known in the city4  ,all     
those who were in the service of the    
other ambassadors loudly exclaimed2     

,dominic1 the only cause of all1        
exclaimed louder than anybody1 well     
knowing the indecency with which we were
 treated was more affecting to me than  
to any other person4  ,though ,i was the
 only one in the house who said nothing 
of the matter abroad1 ,i complained     
loudly of it to the ambassador1 as well 
as of himself1 who1 secretly excited by 
the wretch1 entirely devoted to his     
will1 daily made me suffer some new     
affront4  ,obliged to spend a good deal 
to keep up a footing with those in the  
same situation with myself1 and to make 
are appearance proper to my employment1 
,i could not touch a farthing of my     
salary1 and when ,i asked him for money1
 he spoke of his esteem for me1 and his 
confidence1 as if either of these could 
have filled my purse1 and provided for  
everything4  ,these two banditti at     
length quite turned the head of their   
master1 who naturally had not a good    
one1 and ruined him by a continual      
traffic1 and by bargains1 of which he   

was the dupe1 whilst they persuaded him 
they were greatly in his favor4  ,they  
persuaded him to take upon the ,brenta1 
a ,palazzo1 at twice the rent it was    
worth1 and divided the surplus with the 
proprietor4  ,the apartments were inlaid
 with mosaic1 and ornamented with       
columns and pilasters1 in the taste of  
the country4  ,m4 de ,montaigu1 had all 
these superbly masked by fir            
wainscoting1 for no other reason than   
because at ,paris apartments were thus  
fitted up4  ,it was for a similar reason
 that he only1 of all the ambassadors   
who were at ,venice1 took from his pages
 their swords1 and from his footmen     
their canes4  ,such was the man1 who1   
perhaps from the same motive took a     
dislike to me on account of my serving  
him faithfully4  ,i patiently endured   
his disdain1 his brutality1 and         
ill-treatment1 as long as1 perceiving   
them accompanied by ill-humor1 ,i       
thought they had in them no portion of  
hatred2 but the moment ,i saw the design

 formed of depriving me of the honor ,i 
merited by my faithful services1 ,i     
resolved to resign my employment4  ,the 
first mark ,i received of his ill will  
was relative to a dinner he was to give 
to the ,duke of ,modena and his family1 
who were at ,venice1 and at which he    
signified to me ,i should not be        
present4  ,i answered1 piqued1 but not  
angry1 that having the honor daily to   
dine at his table1 if the ,duke of      
,modena1 when he came1 required ,i      
should not appear at it1 my duty as well
 as the dignity of his excellency would 
not suffer me to consent to such a      
request4  ,how2 said he passionately1 my
 secretary1 who is not a gentleman1     
pretends to dine with a sovereign when  
my gentlemen do not6  ,yes1 sir1 replied
 ,i1 the post with which your excellency
 has honored me1 as long as ,i discharge
 the functions of it1 so far ennobles me
 that my rank is superior to that of    
your gentlemen or of the persons calling
 themselves such2 and ,i am admitted    

where they cannot appear4  ,you cannot  
but know that on the day on which you   
shall make your public entry1 ,i am     
called to the ceremony by etiquette2 and
 by an immemorial custom1 to follow you 
in a dress of ceremony1 and afterwards  
to dine with you at the palace of ,st4  
,mark2 and ,i know not why a man who has
 a right and is to eat in public with   
the doge and the senate of ,venice      
should not eat in private with the ,duke
 of ,modena4  ,though this argument was 
unanswerable1 it did not convince the   
ambassador2 but we had no occasion to   
renew the dispute1 as the ,duke of      
,modena did not come to dine with him4  
,from that moment he did everything in  
his power to make things disagreeable to
 me2 and endeavored unjustly to deprive 
me of my rights1 by taking from me the  
pecuniary advantages annexed to my      
employment1 to give them to his dear    
,vitali2 and ,i am convinced that had he
 dared to send him to the senate1 in my 
place1 he would have done it4  ,he      

commonly employed the ,abbe ,binis in   
his closet1 to write his private        
letters3 he made use of him to write to 
,m4 de ,maurepas an account of the      
affair of ,captain ,olivet1 in which1   
far from taking the least notice of me1 
the only person who gave himself any    
concern about the matter1 he deprived me
 of the honor of the depositions1 of    
which he sent him a duplicate1 for the  
purpose of attributing them to ,patizel1
 who had not opened his mouth4 ,he      
wished to mortify me1 and please his    
favorite2 but had no desire to dismiss  
me his service4  ,he perceived it would 
be more difficult to find me a          
successor1 than ,m4 ,follau1 who had    
already made him known to the world4    
,an ,italian secretary was absolutely   
necessary to him1 on account of the     
answers from the senate2 one who could  
write all his despatches1 and conduct   
his affairs1 without his giving himself 
the least trouble about anything2 a     
person who1 to the merit of serving him 

well1 could join the baseness of being  
the toad-eater of his gentlemen1 without
 honor1 merit1 or principles4  ,he      
wished to retain1 and humble me1 by     
keeping me far from my country1 and his 
own1 without money to return to either1 
and in which he would1 perhaps1 had     
succeeded1 had he began with more       
moderation3 but ,vitali1 who had other  
views1 and wished to force me to        
extremities1 carried his point4  ,the   
moment ,i perceived1 ,i lost all my     
trouble1 that the ambassador imputed to 
me my services as so many crimes1       
instead of being satisfied with them2   
that with him ,i had nothing to expect1 
but things disagreeable at home1 and    
injustice abroad2 and that1 in the      
general disesteem into which he was     
fallen1 his ill offices might be        
prejudicial to me1 without the          
possibility of my being served by his   
good ones2 ,i took my resolution1 and   
asked him for my dismission1 leaving him
 sufficient time to provide himself with

 another secretary4  ,without answering 
yes or no1 he continued to treat me in  
the same manner1 as if nothing had been 
said4  ,perceiving things to remain in  
the same state1 and that he took no     
measures to procure himself a new       
secretary1 ,i wrote to his brother1 and1
 explaining to him my motives1 begged he
 would obtain my dismission from his    
excellency1 adding that whether ,i      
received it or not1 ,i could not        
possibly remain with him4  ,i waited a  
long time without any answer1 and began 
to be embarrassed3 but at length the    
ambassador received a letter from his   
brother1 which must have remonstrated   
with him in very plain terms2 for       
although he was extremely subject to    
ferocious rage1 ,i never saw him so     
violent as on this occasion4  ,after    
torrents of unsufferable reproaches1 not
 knowing what more to say1 he accused me
 of having sold his ciphers4  ,i burst  
into a loud laughter1 and asked him1 in 
a sneering manner1 if he thought there  

was in ,venice a man who would be fool  
enough to give half a crown for them    
all4  ,he threatened to call his        
servants to throw me out of the window4 
,until then ,i had been very composed2  
but on this threat1 anger and           
indignation seized me in my turn4 ,i    
sprang to the door1 and after having    
turned a button which fastened it       
within3 ,no1 count1 said ,i1 returning  
to him with a grave step1 ,your servants
 shall have nothing to do with this     
affair2 please to let it be settled     
between ourselves4  ,my action and      
manner instantly made him calm2 fear and
 surprise were marked in his            
countenance4  ,the moment ,i saw his    
fury abated1 ,i bid him adieu in a very 
few words1 and without waiting for his  
answer1 went to the door1 opened it1 and
 passed slowly across the antechamber1  
through the midst of his people1 who    
rose according to custom1 and who1 ,i am
 of opinion1 would rather have lent     
their assistance against him than me4   

,without going back to my apartment1 ,i 
descended the stairs1 and immediately   
went out of the palace never more to    
enter it4  ,i hastened immediately to   
,m4 le ,blond and related to him what   
had happened4  ,knowing the man1 he was 
but little surprised4  ,he kept me to   
dinner4  ,this dinner1 although without 
preparation1 was splendid4 ,all the     
,french of consequence who were at      
,venice1 partook of it4 ,the ambassador 
had not a single person4  ,the consul   
related my case to the company4  ,the   
cry was general1 and by no means in     
favor of his excellency4  ,he had not   
settled my account1 nor paid me a       
farthing1 and being reduced to the few  
louis ,i had in my pocket1 ,i was       
extremely embarrassed about my return to
 ,france4  ,every purse was opened to   
me4 ,i took twenty sequins from that of 
,m4 le ,blond1 and as many from that of 
,m4 ,st4 ,cyr1 with whom1 next to ,m4 le
 ,blond1 ,i was the most intimately     
connected4  ,i returned thanks to the   

rest2 and1 till my departure1 went to   
lodge at the house of the chancellor of 
the consulship1 to prove to the public1 
the nation was not an accomplice in the 
injustice of the ambassador4  ,his      
excellency1 furious at seeing me taken  
notice of in my misfortune1 at the same 
time that1 notwithstanding his being an 
ambassador1 nobody went near his house1 
quite lost his senses and behaved like a
 madman4  ,he forgot himself so far as  
to present a memoir to the senate to get
 me arrested4  ,on being informed of    
this by the ,abbe de ,binis1 ,i resolved
 to remain a fortnight longer1 instead  
of setting off the next day as ,i had   
intended4  ,my conduct had been known   
and approved of by everybody2 ,i was    
universally esteemed4  ,the senate did  
not deign to return an answer to the    
extravagant memoir of the ambassador1   
but sent me word ,i might remain in     
,venice as long as ,i thought proper1   
without making myself uneasy about the  
attempts of a madman4  ,i continued to  

see my friends3 ,i went to take leave of
 the ambassador from ,spain1 who        
received me well1 and of the ,comte de  
,finochietti1 minister from ,naples1    
whom ,i did not find at home4 ,i wrote  
him a letter and received from his      
excellency the most polite and obliging 
answer4  ,at length ,i took my          
departure1 leaving behind me1           
notwithstanding my embarrassment1 no    
other debts than the two sums ,i had    
borrowed1 and of which ,i have just     
spoken2 and an account of fifty crowns  
with a shopkeeper1 of the name of       
,morandi1 which ,carrio promised to pay1
 and which ,i have never reimbursed him1
 although we have frequently met since  
that time2 but with respect to the two  
sums of money1 ,i returned them very    
exactly the moment ,i had it in my      
power4  ,i cannot take leave of ,venice 
without saying something of the         
celebrated amusements of that city1 or  
at least of the little part of them of  
which ,i partook during my residence    

there4  ,it has been seen how little in 
my youth ,i ran after the pleasures of  
that age1 or those that are so called4  
,my inclinations did not change at      
,venice1 but my occupations1 which      
moreover would have prevented this1     
rendered more agreeable to me the simple
 recreations ,i permitted myself4  ,the 
first and most pleasing of all was the  
society of men of merit4  ,m4 le ,blond1
 de ,st4 ,cyr1 ,carrio ,altuna1 and a   
,forlinian gentleman1 whose name ,i am  
very sorry to have forgotten1 and whom  
,i never call to my recollection without
 emotion3 he was the man of all ,i ever 
knew whose heart most resembled my own4 
,we were connected with two or three    
,englishmen of great wit and            
information1 and1 like ourselves1       
passionately fond of music4  ,all these 
gentlemen had their wives1 female       
friends1 or mistresses3 the latter were 
most of them women of talents1 at whose 
apartments there were balls and         
concerts4 ,there was but little play2 a 

lively turn1 talents1 and the theatres  
rendered this amusement incipid4  ,play 
is the resource of none but men whose   
time hangs heavy on their hands4  ,i had
 brought with me from ,paris the        
prejudice of that city against ,italian 
music2 but ,i had also received from    
nature a sensibility and niceness of    
distinction which prejudice cannot      
withstand4  ,i soon contracted that     
passion for ,italian music with which it
 inspires all those who are capable of  
feeling its excellence4 ,in listening to
 barcaroles1 ,i found ,i had not yet    
known what singing was1 and ,i soon     
became so fond of the opera that1 tired 
of babbling1 eating1 and playing in the 
boxes when ,i wished to listen1 ,i      
frequently withdrew from the company to 
another part of the theater4  ,there1   
quite alone1 shut up in my box1 ,i      
abandoned myself1 notwithstanding the   
length of the representation1 to the    
pleasure of enjoying it at ease unto the
 conclusion4  ,one evening at the       

theatre of ,saint ,chrysostom1 ,i fell  
into a more profound sleep than ,i      
should have done in my bed4  ,the loud  
and brilliant airs did not disturb my   
repose4  ,but who can explain the       
delicious sensations given me by the    
soft harmony of the angelic music1 by   
which ,i was charmed from sleep2 what an
 awaking6  what ravishment6 what        
ecstasy1 when at the same instant ,i    
opened my ears and eyes6  ,my first idea
 was to believe ,i was in paradise4     
,the ravishing air1 which ,i still      
recollect and shall never forget1 began 
with these words3                       
,conservami la bella1                   
,che si m'accende il cor4  ,i was       
desirous of having it2 ,i had and kept  
it for a time2 but it was not the same  
thing upon paper as in my head4  ,the   
notes were the same but the thing was   
different4  ,this divine composition can
 never be executed but in my mind1 in   
the same manner as it was the evening on
 which it woke me from sleep4  ,a kind  

of music far superior1 in my opinion1 to
 that of operas1 and which in all ,italy
 has not its equal1 nor perhaps in the  
whole world1 is that of the 'scuole'4   
,the 'scuole' are houses of charity1    
established for the education of young  
girls without fortune1 to whom the      
republic afterwards gives a portion     
either in marriage or for the cloister4 
,amongst talents cultivated in these    
young girls1 music is in the first rank4
  ,every ,sunday at the church of each  
of the four 'scuole'1 during vespers1   
motettos or anthems with full choruses1 
accompanied by a great orchestra1 and   
composed and directed by the best       
masters in ,italy1 are sung in the      
galleries by girls only2 not one of whom
 is more than twenty years of age4  ,i  
have not an idea of anything so         
voluptuous and affecting as this music2 
the richness of the art1 the exquisite  
taste of the vocal part1 the excellence 
of the voices1 the justness of the      
execution1 everything in these          

delightful concerts concurs to produce  
an impression which certainly is not the
 mode1 but from which ,i am of opinion  
no heart is secure4  ,carrio and ,i     
never failed being present at these     
vespers of the ',mendicanti'1 and we    
were not alone4  ,the church was always 
full of the lovers of the art1 and even 
the actors of the opera came there to   
form their tastes after these excellent 
models4  ,what vexed me was the iron    
grate1 which suffered nothing to escape 
but sounds1 and concealed from me the   
angels of which they were worthy4  ,i   
talked of nothing else4  ,one day ,i    
spoke of it at ,le ,blond's2 ,if you are
 so desirous1 said he1 to see those     
little girls1 it will be an easy matter 
to satisfy your wishes4 ,i am one of the
 administrators of the house1 ,i will   
give you a collation with them4  ,i did 
not let him rest until he had fulfilled 
his promise4 ,in entering the saloon1   
which contained these beauties ,i so    
much sighed to see1 ,i felt a trembling 

of love which ,i had never before       
experienced4 ,m4 le ,blond presented to 
me one after the other1 these celebrated
 female singers1 of whom the names and  
voices were all with which ,i was       
acquainted4  ,come1 ,sophia1--she was   
horrid4  ,come1 ,cattina1--she had but  
one eye4  ,come1 ,bettina1--the         
small-pox had entirely disfigured her4  
,scarcely one of them was without some  
striking defect4  ,le ,blond laughed at 
my surprise2 however1 two or three of   
them appeared tolerable2 these never    
sung but in the choruses2 ,i was almost 
in despair4 ,during the collation we    
endeavored to excite them1 and they soon
 became enlivened2 ugliness does not    
exclude the graces1 and ,i found they   
possessed them4  ,i said to myself1 they
 cannot sing in this manner without     
intelligence and sensibility1 they must 
have both2 in fine1 my manner of seeing 
them changed to such a degree that ,i   
left the house almost in love with each 
of these ugly faces4  ,i had scarcely   

courage enough to return to vespers4    
,but after having seen the girls1 the   
danger was lessened4  ,i still found    
their singing delightful2 and their     
voices so much embellished their persons
 that1 in spite of my eyes1 ,i          
obstinately continued to think them     
beautiful4  ,music in ,italy is         
accompanied with so trifling an expense1
 that it is not worth while for such as 
have a taste for it to deny themselves  
the pleasure it affords4  ,i hired a    
harpsichord1 and1 for half a crown1 ,i  
had at my apartment four or five        
symphonists1 with whom ,i practised once
 a week in executing such airs1 etc41 as
 had given me most pleasure at the      
opera4  ,i also had some symphonies     
performed from my ',muses ,galantes'4   
,whether these pleased the performers1  
or the ballet-master of ,st4 ,john      
,chrysostom wished to flatter me1 he    
desired to have two of them2 and ,i had 
afterwards the pleasure of hearing these
 executed by that admirable orchestra4  

,they were danced to by a little        
,bettina1 pretty and amiable1 and kept  
by a ,spaniard1 ,m4 ,fagoaga1 a friend  
of ours with whom we often went to spend
 the evening4  ,but apropos of girls of 
easy virtue3 it is not in ,venice that a
 man abstains from them4  ,have you     
nothing to confess1 somebody will ask   
me1 upon this subject8  ,yes3 ,i have   
something to say upon it1 and ,i will   
proceed to the confession with the same 
ingenuousness with which ,i have made my
 former ones4  ,i always had a          
disinclination to girls of pleasure1 but
 at ,venice those were all ,i had within
 my reach2 most of the houses being shut
 against me on account of my place4     
,the daughters of ,m4 le ,blond were    
very amiable1 but difficult of access2  
and ,i had too much respect for the     
father and mother ever once to have the 
least desire for them4  ,i should have  
had a much stronger inclination to a    
young lady named ,mademoiselle de       
,cataneo1 daughter to the agent from the

 ,king of ,prussia1 but ,carrio was in  
love with her there was even between    
them some question of marriage4  ,he was
 in easy circumstances1 and ,i had no   
fortune3 his salary was a hundred louis 
7guineas7 a year1 and mine amounted to  
no more than a thousand livres 7about   
forty pounds sterling7 and1 besides my  
being unwilling to oppose a friend1 ,i  
knew that in all places1 and especially 
at ,venice1 with a purse so ill         
furnished as mine was1 gallantry was out
 of the question4  ,i had not lost the  
pernicious custom of deceiving my wants4
  ,too busily employed forcibly to feel 
those proceeding from the climate1 ,i   
lived upwards of a year in that city as 
chastely as ,i had done in ,paris1 and  
at the end of eighteen months ,i quitted
 it without having approached the sex1  
except twice by means of the singular   
opportunities of which ,i am going to   
speak4  ,the first was procured me by   
that honest gentleman1 ,vitali1 some    
time after the formal apology ,i obliged

 him to make me4  ,the conversation at  
the table turned on the amusements of   
,venice4  ,these gentlemen reproached me
 with my indifference with regard to the
 most delightful of them all2 at the    
same time extolling the gracefulness and
 elegant manners of the women of easy   
virtue of ,venice2 and adding that they 
were superior to all others of the same 
description in any other part of the    
world4 ,dominic1 said ,i1 7,i7must make 
an acquaintance with the most amiable of
 them all1 he offered to take me to her 
apartments1 and assured me ,i should be 
pleased with her4  ,i laughed at this   
obliging offer3 and ,count ,piati1 a man
 in years and venerable1 observed to me1
 with more candor than ,i should have   
expected from an ,italian1 that he      
thought me too prudent to suffer myself 
to be taken to such a place by my enemy4
  ,in fact ,i had no inclination to do  
it3 but notwithstanding this1 by an     
incoherence ,i cannot myself comprehend1
 ,i at length was prevailed upon to go1 

contrary to my inclination1 the         
sentiment of my heart1 my reason1 and   
even my will2 solely from weakness1 and 
being ashamed to show an appearance to  
the least mistrust2 and besides1 as the 
expression of the country is1 'per non  
parer troppo cogliono'--,not to appear  
too great a blockhead4--,the ',padoana' 
whom we went to visit was pretty1 she   
was even handsome1 but her beauty was   
not of that kind that pleased me4       
,dominic left me with her1 ,i sent for  
,sorbetti1 and asked her to sing4 ,in   
about half an hour ,i wished to take my 
leave1 after having put a ducat on the  
table1 but this by a singular scruple   
she refused until she had deserved it1  
and ,i from as singular a folly         
consented to remove her doubts4  ,i     
returned to the palace so fully         
persuaded that ,i should feel the       
consequences of this step1 that the     
first thing ,i did was to send for the  
king's surgeon to ask him for ptisans4  
,nothing can equal the uneasiness of    

mind ,i suffered for three weeks1       
without its being justified by any real 
inconvenience or apparent sign4  ,i     
could not believe it was possible to    
withdraw with impunity from the arms of 
the 'padoana'4  ,the surgeon himself had
 the greatest difficulty in removing my 
apprehensions2 nor could he do this by  
any other means than by persuading me ,i
 was formed in such a manner as not to  
be easily infected3 and although in the 
experiment ,i exposed myself less than  
any other man would have done1 my health
 in that respect never having suffered  
the least inconvenience1 in my opinion a
 proof the surgeon was right4 ,however1 
this has never made me imprudent1 and if
 in fact ,i have received such an       
advantage from nature ,i can safely     
assert ,i have never abused it4  ,my    
second adventure1 although likewise with
 a common girl1 was of a nature very    
different1 as well in its origin as in  
its effects2 ,i have already said that  
,captain ,olivet gave me a dinner on    

board his vessel1 and that ,i took with 
me the secretary of the ,spanish        
embassy4  ,i expected a salute of       
cannon4  ,the ship's company was drawn  
up to receive us1 but not so much as a  
priming was burnt1 at which ,i was      
mortified1 on account of ,carrio1 whom  
,i perceived to be rather piqued at the 
neglect4  ,a salute of cannon was given 
on board merchant-ships to people of    
less consequence than we were2 ,i       
besides thought ,i deserved some        
distinguished mark of respect from the  
captain4  ,i could not conceal my       
thoughts1 because this at all times was 
impossible to me1 and although the      
dinner was a very good one1 and ,olivet 
did the honors of it perfectly well1 ,i 
began it in an ill humor1 eating but    
little1 and speaking still less4  ,at   
the first health1 at least1 ,i expected 
a volley2 nothing4  ,carrio1 who read   
what passed within1 me1 laughed at      
hearing me grumble like a child4        
,before dinner was half over ,i saw a   

gondola approach the vessel4  ,bless me1
 sir1 said the captain1 take care of    
yourself1 the enemy approaches4  ,i     
asked him what he meant1 and he answered
 jocosely4  ,the gondola made the ship's
 side1 and ,i observed a gay young      
damsel come on board very lightly1 and  
coquettishly dressed1 and who at three  
steps was in the cabin1 seated by my    
side1 before ,i had time to perceive a  
cover was laid for her4  ,she was       
equally charming and lively1 a brunette1
 not more than twenty years of age4     
,she spoke nothing but ,italian1 and her
 accent alone was sufficient to turn my 
head4  ,as she eat and chattered she    
cast her eyes upon me2 steadfastly      
looked at me for a moment1 and then     
exclaimed1 ,good ,virgin6  ,ah1 my dear 
,bremond1 what an age it is since ,i saw
 thee6 ,then she threw herself into my  
arms1 sealed her lips to mine1 and      
pressed me almost to strangling4 ,her   
large black eyes1 like those of the     
beauties of the ,east1 darted fiery     

shafts into my heart1 and although the  
surprise at first stupefied my senses1  
voluptuousness made a rapid progress    
within1 and this to such a degree that  
the beautiful seducer herself was1      
notwithstanding the spectators1 obliged 
to restrain my ardor1 for ,i was        
intoxicated1 or rather become furious4  
,when she perceived she had made the    
impression she desired1 she became more 
moderate in her caresses1 but not in her
 vivacity1 and when she thought proper  
to explain to us the real or false cause
 of all her petulance1 she said ,i      
resembled ,m4 de ,bremond1 director of  
the customs of ,tuscany1 to such a      
degree as to be mistaken for him2 that  
she had turned this ,m4 de ,bremond's   
head1 and would do it again2 that she   
had quitted him because he was a fool2  
that she took me in his place2 that she 
would love me because it pleased her so 
to do1 for which reason ,i must love her
 as long as it was agreeable to her1 and
 when she thought proper to send me     

about my business1 ,i must be patient as
 her dear ,bremond had been4  ,what was 
said was done4  ,she took possession of 
me as of a man that belonged to her1    
gave me her gloves to keep1 her fan1 her
 cinda1 and her coif1 and ordered me to 
go here or there1 to do this or that1   
and ,i instantly obeyed her4  ,she told 
me to go and send away her gondola1     
because she chose to make use of mine1  
and ,i immediately sent it away2 she bid
 me to move from my place1 and pray     
,carrio to sit down in it1 because she  
had something to say to him2 and ,i did 
as she desired4 ,they chatted a good    
while together1 but spoke low1 and ,i   
did not interrupt them4  ,she called me1
 and ,i approached her4  ,hark thee1    
,zanetto1 said she to me1 ,i will not be
 loved in the ,french manner2 this      
indeed will not be well4  ,in the first 
moment of lassitude1 get thee gone3 but 
stay not by the way1 ,i caution thee4   
,after dinner we went to see the glass  
manufactory at ,murano4  ,she bought a  

great number of little curiosities2 for 
which she left me to pay without the    
least ceremony4 ,but she everywhere gave
 away little trinkets to a much greater 
amount than of the things we had        
purchased4  ,by the indifference with   
which she threw away her money1 ,i      
perceived she annexed to it but little  
value4 ,when she insisted upon a        
payment1 ,i am of opinion it was more   
from a motive of vanity than avarice4   
,she was flattered by the price her     
admirers set upon her favors4  ,in the  
evening we conducted her to her         
apartments4  ,as we conversed together1 
,i perceived a couple of pistols upon   
her toilette4  ,ah6 ,ah6 said ,i1 taking
 one of them up1 this is a patchbox of a
 new construction3 may ,i ask what is   
its use8  ,i know you have other arms   
which give more fire than those upon    
your table4  ,after a few pleasantries  
of the same kind1 she said to us1 with  
an ingenuousness which rendered her     
still more charming1 ,when ,i am        

complaisant to persons whom ,i do not   
love1 ,i make them pay for the weariness
 they cause me2 nothing can be more     
just2 but if ,i suffer their caresses1  
,i will not bear their insults2 nor miss
 the first who shall be wanting to me in
 respect4  ,at taking leave of her1 ,i  
made another appointment for the next   
day4  ,i did not make her wait4  ,i     
found her in 'vestito di conidenza'1 in 
an undress more than wanton1 unknown to 
northern countries1 and which ,i will   
not amuse myself in describing1 although
 ,i recollect it perfectly well4 ,i     
shall only remark that her ruffles and  
collar were edged with silk network     
ornamented with rose--colored pompons4  
,this1 in my eyes1 much enlivened a     
beautiful complexion4  ,i afterwards    
found it to be the mode at ,venice1 and 
the effect is so charming that ,i am    
surprised it has never been introduced  
in ,france4  ,i had no idea of the      
transports which awaited me4  ,i have   
spoken of ,madam de ,larnage with the   

transport which the remembrance of her  
still sometimes gives me2 but how old1  
ugly and cold she appeared1 compared    
with my ,zulietta6  ,do not attempt to  
form to yourself an idea of the charms  
and graces of this enchanting girl1 you 
will be far too short of truth4  ,young 
virgins in cloisters are not so fresh3  
the beauties of the seraglio are less   
animated3 the houris of paradise less   
engaging4  ,never was so sweet an       
enjoyment offered to the heart and      
senses of a mortal4  ,ah6 had ,i at     
least been capable of fully tasting of  
it for a single moment6  ,i had tasted  
of it1 but without a charm4  ,i         
enfeebled all its delights3 ,i destroyed
 them as at will4  ,no2 ,nature has not 
made me capable of enjoyment4  ,she has 
infused into my wretched head the poison
 of that ineffable happiness1 the desire
 of which she first placed in my heart4 
,if there be a circumstance in my life1 
which describes my nature1 it is that   
which ,i am going to relate4  ,the      

forcible manner in which ,i at this     
moment recollect the object of my book1 
will here make me hold in contempt the  
false delicacy which would prevent me   
from fulfilling it4 ,whoever you may be 
who are desirous of knowing a man1 have 
the courage to read the two or three    
following pages1 and you will become    
fully acquainted with ,j4 ,j4 ,rousseau4
  ,i entered the chamber of a woman of  
easy virtue1 as the sanctuary of love   
and beauty3 and in her person1 ,i       
thought ,i saw the divinity4  ,i should 
have been inclined to think that without
 respect and esteem it was impossible to
 feel anything like that which she made 
me experience4 ,scarcely had ,i1 in her 
first familiarities1 discovered the     
force of her charms and caresses1 before
 ,i wished1 for fear of losing the fruit
 of them1 to gather it beforehand4      
,suddenly1 instead of the flame which   
consumed me1 ,i felt a mortal cold run  
through all my veins2 my legs failed me2
 and ready to faint away1 ,i sat down   

and wept like a child4  ,who would guess
 the cause of my tears1 and what1 at    
this moment1 passed within me8  ,i said 
to myself3 the object in my power is the
 masterpiece of love2 her wit and person
 equally approach perfection2 she is as 
good and generous as she is amiable and 
beautiful4  ,yet she is a miserable     
prostitute1 abandoned to the public4    
,the captain of a merchantship disposed 
of her at will2 she has thrown herself  
into my arms1 although she knows ,i have
 nothing2 and my merit with which she   
cannot be acquainted1 can be to her no  
inducement4  ,in this there is something
 inconceivable4  ,either my heart       
deceives me1 fascinates my senses1 and  
makes me the dupe of an unworthy slut1  
or some secret defect1 of which ,i am   
ignorant1 destroys the effect of her    
charms1 and renders her odious in the   
eyes of those by whom her charms would  
otherwise be disputed4  ,i endeavored1  
by an extraordinary effort of mind1 to  
discover this defect1 but it did not so 

much as strike me that even the         
consequences to be apprehended1 might   
possibly have some influence4  ,the     
clearness of her skin1 the brilliancy of
 her complexion1 her white teeth1 sweet 
breath1 and the appearance of neatness  
about her person1 so far removed from me
 this idea1 that1 still in doubt        
relative to my situation after the      
affair of the 'padoana'1 ,i rather      
apprehended ,i was not sufficiently in  
health for her3 and ,i am firmly        
persuaded ,i was not deceived in my     
opinion4 ,these reflections1 so apropos1
 agitated me to such a degree as to make
 me shed tears4  ,zuliette1 to whom the 
scene was quite novel1 was struck       
speechless for a moment4  ,but having   
made a turn in her chamber1 and passing 
before her glass1 she comprehended1 and 
my eyes confirmed her opinion1 that     
disgust had no part in what had         
happened4  ,it was not difficult for her
 to recover me and dispel this          
shamefacedness4  ,but1 at the moment in 

which ,i was ready to faint upon a      
bosom1 which for the first time seemed  
to suffer the impression of the hand and
 lips of a man1 ,i perceived she had a  
withered 'teton'4  ,i struck my         
forehead3 ,i examined1 and thought ,i   
perceived this teton was not formed like
 the other4  ,i immediately began to    
consider how it was possible to have    
such a defect1 and persuaded of its     
proceeding from some great natural vice1
 ,i was clearly convinced1 that1 instead
 of the most charming person of whom ,i 
could form to myself an idea1 ,i had in 
my arms a species of a monster1 the     
refuse of nature1 of men and of love4   
,i carried my stupidity so far as to    
speak to her of the discovery ,i had    
made4  ,she1 at first1 took what ,i said
 jocosely2 and in her frolicsome humor1 
did and said things which made me die of
 love4  ,but perceiving an inquietude ,i
 could not conceal1 she at length       
reddened1 adjusted her dress1 raised    
herself up1 and without saying a word1  

went and placed herself at a window4  ,i
 attempted to place myself by her side3 
she withdrew to a sofa1 rose from it the
 next moment1 and fanning herself as she
 walked about the chamber1 said to me in
 a reserved and disdainful tone of      
voice1 ,zanetto1 'lascia le donne1 a    
studia la matematica4--,leave women and 
study mathematics4  ,before ,i took     
leave ,i requested her to appoint       
another rendezvous for the next day1    
which she postponed for three days1     
adding1 with a satirical smile1 that ,i 
must needs be in want of repose4  ,i was
 very ill at ease during the interval2  
my heart was full of her charms and     
graces2 ,i felt my extravagance1 and    
reproached myself with it1 regretting   
the loss of the moments ,i had so ill   
employed1 and which1 had ,i chosen1 ,i  
might have rendered more agreeable than 
any in my whole life2 waiting with the  
most burning impatience for the moment  
in which ,i might repair the loss1 and  
yet1 notwithstanding all my reasoning   

upon what ,i had discovered1 anxious to 
reconcile the perfections of this       
adorable girl with the indignity of her 
situation4  ,i ran1 ,i flew to her      
apartment at the hour appointed4  ,i    
know not whether or not her ardor would 
have been more satisfied with this      
visit1 her pride at least would have    
been flattered by it1 and ,i already    
rejoiced at the idea of my convincing   
her1 in every respect1 that ,i knew how 
to repair the wrongs ,i had done4  ,she 
spared me this justification4  ,the     
gondolier whom ,i had sent to her       
apartment brought me for answer that she
 had set off1 the evening before1 for   
,florence4  ,if ,i had not felt all the 
love ,i had for her person when this was
 in my possession1 ,i felt it in the    
most cruel manner on losing her4        
,amiable and charming as she was in my  
eyes1 ,i could not console myself for   
the loss of her2 but this ,i have never 
been able to do relative to the         
contemptuous idea which at her departure

 she must have had of me4  ,these are my
 two narratives4  ,the eighteen months  
,i passed at ,venice furnished me with  
no other of the same kind1 except a     
simple prospect at most4  ,carrio was a 
gallant4  ,tired of visiting girls      
engaged to others1 he took a fancy to   
have one to himself1 and1 as we were    
inseparable1 he proposed to mean        
arrangement common enough at ,venice1   
which was to keep one girl for us both4 
,to this ,i consented4  ,the question   
was1 to find one who was safe4  ,he was 
so industrious in his researches that he
 found out a little girl from eleven to 
twelve years of age1 whom her infamous  
mother was endeavoring to sell1 and ,i  
went with ,carrio to see her4  ,the     
sight of the child moved me to the most 
lively compassion4  ,she was fair and as
 gentle as a lamb4  ,nobody would have  
taken her for an ,italian4 ,living is   
very cheap in ,venice2 we gave a little 
money to the mother1 and provided for   
the subsistence of her daughter4  ,she  

had a voice1 and to procure her some    
resource we gave her a spinnet1 and a   
singing--master4 ,all these expenses did
 not cost each of us more than two      
sequins a month1 and we contrived to    
save a much greater sum in other        
matters2 but as we were obliged to wait 
until she became of a riper age1 this   
was sowing a long time before we could  
possibly reap4  ,however1 satisfied with
 passing our evenings1 chatting and     
innocently playing with the child1 we   
perhaps enjoyed greater pleasure than if
 we had received the last favors4  ,so  
true is it that men are more attached to
 women by a certain pleasure they have  
in living with them1 than by any kind of
 libertinism4  ,my heart became         
insensibly attached to the little       
,anzoletta1 but my attachment was       
paternal1 in which the senses had so    
little share1 that in proportion as the 
former increased1 to have connected it  
with the latter would have been less    
possible2 and ,i felt ,i should have    

experienced1 at approaching this little 
creature when become nubile1 the same   
horror with which the abominable crime  
of incest would have inspired me4  ,i   
perceived the sentiments of ,carrio     
take1 unobserved by himself1 exactly the
 same turn4 ,we thus prepared for       
ourselves1 without intending it1        
pleasure not less delicious1 but very   
different from that of which we first   
had an idea2 and ,i am fully persuaded  
that however beautiful the poor child   
might have become1 far from being the   
corrupters of her innocence we should   
have been the protectors of it4  ,the   
circumstance which shortly afterwards   
befell me deprived me1 of the happiness 
of taking a part in this good work1 and 
my only merit in the affair was the     
inclination of my heart4  ,i will now   
return to my journey4  ,my first        
intentions after leaving ,m4 de         
,montaigu1 was to retire to ,geneva1    
until time and more favorable           
circumstances should have removed the   

obstacles which prevented my union with 
my poor mamma2 but the quarrel between  
me and ,m4 de ,montaigu being become    
public1 and he having had the folly to  
write about it to the court1 ,i resolved
 to go there to give an account of my   
conduct and complain of that of a       
madman4  ,i communicated my intention1  
from ,venice1 to ,m4 du ,theil1 charged 
per interim with foreign affairs after  
the death of ,m4 ,amelot4  ,i set off as
 soon as my letter1 and took my route   
through ,bergamo1 ,como1 and ,domo      
,d',oscela1 and crossing ,saint ,plomb4 
,at ,sion1 ,m4 de ,chaignon1 charge des 
affaires from ,france1 showed me great  
civility2 at ,geneva ,m4 de la ,closure 
treated me with the same polite         
attention4  ,i there renewed my         
acquaintance with ,m4 de ,gauffecourt1  
from whom ,i had some money to receive4 
,i had passed through ,nion without     
going to see my father3 not that this   
was a matter of indifference to me1 but 
because ,i was unwilling to appear      

before my mother-in-law1 after the      
disaster which had befallen me1 certain 
of being condemned by her without being 
heard4  ,the bookseller1 ,du ,villard1  
an old friend of my father's1 reproached
 me severely with this neglect4  ,i gave
 him my reasons for it1 and to repair my
 fault1 without exposing myself to meet 
my mother-in-law1 ,i took a chaise and  
we went together to ,nion and stopped at
 a public house4  ,du ,villard went to  
fetch my father1 who came running to    
embrace me4  ,we supped together1 and1  
after passing an evening very agreeable 
to the wishes of my heart1 ,i returned  
the next morning to ,geneva with ,du    
,villard1 for whom ,i have ever since   
retained a sentiment of gratitude in    
return for the service he did me on this
 occasion4  ,lyons was a little out of  
my direct road1 but ,i was determined to
 pass through that city in order to     
convince myself of a knavish trick      
played me by ,m4 de ,montaigu4  ,i had  
sent me from ,paris a little box        

containing a waistcoat1 embroidered with
 gold1 a few pairs of ruffles1 and six  
pairs of white silk stockings2 nothing  
more4  ,upon a proposition made me by   
,m4 de ,montaigu1 ,i ordered this box to
 be added to his baggage4  ,in the      
apothecary's bill he offered me in      
payment of my salary1 and which he wrote
 out himself1 he stated the weight of   
this box1 which he called a bale1 at    
eleven hundred pounds1 and charged me   
with the carriage of it at an enormous  
rate4  ,by the cares of ,m4 ,boy de la  
,tour1 to whom ,i was recommended by ,m4
 ,roquin1 his uncle1 it was proved from 
the registers of the customs of ,lyons  
and ,marseilles1 that the said bale     
weighed no more than forty-five pounds1 
and had paid carriage according to that 
weight4 ,i joined this authentic extract
 to the memoir of ,m1 de ,montaigu1 and 
provided with these papers and others   
containing stronger facts1 ,i returned  
to ,paris1 very impatient to make use of
 them4  ,during the whole of this long  

journey ,i had little adventures2 at    
,como1 in ,valais1 and elsewhere4  ,i   
there saw many curious things1 amongst  
others the ,boroma islands1 which are   
worthy of being described4  ,but ,i am  
pressed by time1 and surrounded by      
spies4  ,i am obliged to write in haste1
 and very imperfectly1 a work which     
requires the leisure and tranquility ,i 
do not enjoy4  ,if ever providence in   
its goodness grants me days more calm1  
,i shall destine them to new modelling  
this work1 should ,i be able to do it1  
or at least to giving a supplement1 of  
which ,i perceive it stands in the      
greatest need4--,i have given up this   
project4  ,the news of my quarrel had   
reached ,paris before me and on my      
arrival ,i found the people in all the  
offices1 and the public in general1     
scandalized at the follies of the       
ambassador4  ,notwithstanding this1 the 
public talk at ,venice1 and the         
unanswerable proof ,i exhibited1 ,i     
could not obtain even the shadow of     

justice4  ,far from obtaining           
satisfaction or reparation1 ,i was left 
at the discretion of the ambassador for 
my salary1 and this for no other reason 
than because1 not being a ,frenchman1 ,i
 had no right to national protection1   
and that it was a private affair between
 him and myself4  ,everybody agreed ,i  
was insulted1 injured1 and unfortunate2 
that the ambassador was mad1 cruel1 and 
iniquitous1 and that the whole of the   
affair dishonored him forever4  ,but    
what of this6  ,he was the ambassador1  
and ,i was nothing more than the        
secretary4  ,order1 or that which is so 
called1 was in opposition to my         
obtaining justice1 and of this the least
 shadow was not granted me4  ,i supposed
 that1 by loudly complaining1 and by    
publicly treating this madman in the    
manner he deserved1 ,i should at length 
be told to hold my tongue2 this was what
 ,i wished for1 and ,i was fully        
determined not to obey until ,i had     
obtained redress4  ,but at that time    

there was no minister for foreign       
affairs4  ,i was suffered to exclaim1   
nay1 even encouraged to do it1 and      
joined with2 but the affair still       
remained in the same state1 until1 tired
 of being in the right without obtaining
 justice1 my courage at length failed   
me1 and let the whole drop4  ,the only  
person by whom ,i was ill received1 and 
from whom ,i should have least expected 
such an injustice1 was ,madam de        
,beuzenval4  ,full of the prerogatives  
of rank and nobility1 she could not     
conceive it was possible an ambassador  
could ever be in the wrong with respect 
to his secretary4 ,the reception she    
gave me was conformable to this         
prejudice4  ,i was so piqued at it that1
 immediately after leaving her1 ,i wrote
 her perhaps one of the strongest and   
most violent letters that ever came from
 my pen1 and since that time ,i never   
once returned to her house4  ,i was     
better received by ,father ,castel2 but1
 in the midst of his ,jesuitical        

wheedling ,i perceived him faithfully to
 follow one of the great maxims of his  
society1 which is to sacrifice the weak 
to the powerful4  ,the strong conviction
 ,i felt of the justice of my cause1 and
 my natural greatness of mind did not   
suffer me patiently to endure this      
partiality4  ,i ceased visiting ,father 
,castel1 and on that account1 going to  
the college of the ,jesuits1 where ,i   
knew nobody but himself4  ,besides the  
intriguing and tyrannical spirit of his 
brethren1 so different from the         
cordiality of the good ,father ,hemet1  
gave me such a disgust for their        
conversation that ,i have never since   
been acquainted with1 nor seen anyone of
 them except ,father ,berthier1 whom ,i 
saw twice or thrice at ,m4 ,dupin's1 in 
conjunction with whom he labored with   
all his might at the refutation of      
,montesquieu4  ,that ,i may not return  
to the subject1 ,i will conclude what ,i
 have to say of ,m4 de ,montaigu4  ,i   
had told him in our quarrels that a     

secretary was not what he wanted1 but an
 attorney's clerk4  ,he took the hint1  
and the person whom he procured to      
succeed me was a real attorney1 who in  
less than a year robbed him of twenty or
 thirty thousand livres4  ,he discharged
 him1 and sent him to prison1 dismissed 
his gentleman with disgrace1 and1 in    
wretchedness1 got himself everywhere    
into quarrels1 received affronts which a
 footman would not have put up with1    
and1 after numerous follies1 was        
recalled1 and sent from the capital4    
,it is very probable that among the     
reprimands he received at court1 his    
affair with me was not forgotten4  ,at  
least1 a little time after his return he
 sent his maitre d' hotel1 to settle my 
account1 and give me some money4  ,i was
 in want of it at that moment2 my debts 
at ,venice1 debts of honor1 if ever     
there were any1 lay heavy upon my mind4 
,i made use of the means which offered  
to discharge them1 as well as the note  
of ,zanetto ,nani4  ,i received what was

 offered me1 paid all my debts1 and     
remained as before1 without a farthing  
in my pocket1 but relieved from a weight
 which had become insupportable4  ,from 
that time ,i never heard speak of ,m4 de
 ,montaigu until his death1 with which  
,i became acquainted by means of the    
,gazette4  ,the peace of ,god be with   
that poor man6  ,he was as fit for the  
functions of an ambassador as in my     
infancy ,i had been for those of        
,grapignan4--,i have not been able to   
find this word in any dictionary1 nor   
does any ,frenchman of letters of my    
acquaintance know what it means4        
--,t4--,however1 it was in his power to 
have honorably supported himself by my  
services1 and rapidly to have advanced  
me in a career to which the ,comte de   
,gauvon had destined me in my youth1 and
 of the functions of which ,i had in a  
more advanced age rendered myself       
capable4  ,the justice and inutility of 
my complaints1 left in my mind seeds of 
indignation against our foolish civil   

institutions1 by which the welfare of   
the public and real justice are always  
sacrificed to ,i know not what          
appearance of order1 and which does     
nothing more than add the sanction of   
public authority to the oppression of   
the weak1 and the iniquity of the       
powerful4  ,two things prevented these  
seeds from putting forth at that time as
 they afterwards did3 one was1 myself   
being in question in the affair1 and    
private interest1 whence nothing great  
or noble ever proceeded1 could not draw 
from my heart the divine soarings1 which
 the most pure love1 only of that which 
is just and sublime1 can produce4  ,the 
other was the charm of friendship which 
tempered and calmed my wrath by the     
ascendancy of a more pleasing sentiment4
  ,i had become acquainted at ,venice   
with a ,biscayan1 a friend of my friend 
,carrio's1 and worthy of being that of  
every honest man4  ,this amiable young  
man1 born with every talent and virtue1 
had just made the tour of ,italy to gain

 a taste for the fine arts1 and1        
imagining he had nothing more to        
acquire1 intended to return by the most 
direct road to his own country4  ,i told
 him the arts were nothing more than a  
relaxation to a genius like his1 fit to 
cultivate the sciences2 and to give him 
a taste for these1 ,i advised him to    
make a journey to ,paris and reside     
there for six months4  ,he took my      
advice1 and went to ,paris4  ,he was    
there and expected me when ,i arrived4  
,his lodging was too considerable for   
him1 and he offered me the half of it1  
which ,i instantly accepted4  ,i found  
him absorbed in the study of the        
sublimest sciences4  ,nothing was above 
his reach4  ,he digested everything with
 a prodigious rapidity4  ,how cordially 
did he thank me for having procured him 
this food for his mind1 which was       
tormented by a thirst after knowledge1  
without his being aware of it6  ,what a 
treasure of light and virtue ,i found in
 the vigorous mind of this young man6   

,i felt he was the friend ,i wanted4    
,we soon became intimate4  ,our tastes  
were not the same1 and we constantly    
disputed4  ,both opinionated1 we never  
could agree about anything4             
,nevertheless we could not separate2    
and1 notwithstanding our reciprocal and 
incessant contradiction1 we neither of  
us wished the other to be different from
 what he was4  ,ignacio ,emanuel de     
,altuna was one of those rare beings    
whom only ,spain produces1 and of whom  
she produces too few for her glory4  ,he
 had not the violent national passions  
common in his own country4  ,the idea of
 vengeance could no more enter his head1
 than the desire of it could proceed    
from his heart4  ,his mind was too great
 to be vindictive1 and ,i have          
frequently heard him say1 with the      
greatest coolness1 that no mortal could 
offend him4  ,he was gallant1 without   
being tender4  ,he played with women as 
with so many pretty children4  ,he      
amused himself with the mistresses of   

his friends1 but ,i never knew him to   
have one of his own1 nor the least      
desire for it4  ,the emanations from the
 virtue with which his heart was stored1
 never permitted the fire of the        
passions to excite sensual desires4     
,after his travels he married1 died     
young1 and left children2 and1 ,i am as 
convinced as of my existence1 that his  
wife was the first and only woman with  
whom he ever tasted of the pleasures of 
love4  ,externally he was devout1 like a
 ,spaniard1 but in his heart he had the 
piety of an angel4  ,except myself1 he  
is the only man ,i ever saw whose       
principles were not intolerant4  ,he    
never in his life asked any person his  
opinion in matters of religion4  ,it was
 not of the least consequence to him    
whether his friend was a ,jew1 a        
,protestant1 a ,turk1 a ,bigot1 or an   
,atheist1 provided he was an honest man4
  ,obstinate and headstrong in matters  
of indifference1 but the moment religion
 was in question1 even the moral part1  

he collected himself1 was silent1 or    
simply said3 ,i am charged with the care
 of myself1 only4  ,it is astonishing so
 much elevation of mind should be       
compatible with a spirit of detail      
carried to minuteness4  ,he previously  
divided the employment of the day by    
hours1 quarters and minutes2 and so     
scrupulously adhered to this            
distribution1 that had the clock struck 
while he was reading a phrase1 he would 
have shut his book without finishing it4
  ,his portions of time thus laid out1  
were some of them set apart to studies  
of one kind1 and others to those of     
another3 he had some for reflection1    
conversation1 divine service1 the       
reading of ,locke1 for his rosary1 for  
visits1 music and painting2 and neither 
pleasure1 temptation1 nor complaisance1 
could interrupt this order3 a duty he   
might have had to discharge was the only
 thing that could have done it4  ,when  
he gave me a list of his distribution1  
that ,i might conform myself thereto1 ,i

 first laughed1 and then shed tears of  
admiration4  ,he never constrained      
anybody nor suffered constraint3 he was 
rather rough with people1 who from      
politeness1 attempted to put it upon    
him4  ,he was passionate without being  
sullen4  ,i have often seen him warm1   
but never saw him really angry with any 
person4  ,nothing could be more cheerful
 than his temper3 he knew how to pass   
and receive a joke2 raillery was one of 
his distinguished talents1 and with     
which he possessed that of pointed wit  
and repartee4  ,when he was animated1 he
 was noisy and heard at a great         
distance2 but whilst he loudly          
inveighed1 a smile was spread over his  
countenance1 and in the midst of his    
warmth he used some diverting expression
 which made all his hearers break out   
into a loud laugh4  ,he had no more of  
the ,spanish complexion than of the     
phlegm of that country4  ,his skin was  
white1 his cheeks finely colored1 and   
his hair of a light chestnut4  ,he was  

tall and well made2 his body was well   
formed for the residence of his mind4   
,this wise--hearted as well as          
wise--headed man1 knew mankind1 and was 
my friend2 this was my only answer to   
such as are not so4  ,we were so        
intimately united1 that our intention   
was to pass our days together4  ,in a   
few years ,i was to go to ,ascoytia to  
live with him at his estate2 every part 
of the project was arranged the eve of  
his departure2 nothing was left         
undetermined1 except that which depends 
not upon men in the best concerted      
plans1 posterior events4  ,my disasters1
 his marriage1 and finally1 his death1  
separated us forever4  ,some men would  
be tempted to say1 that nothing succeeds
 except the dark conspiracies of the    
wicked1 and that the innocent intentions
 of the good are seldom or never        
accomplished4  ,i had felt the          
inconvenience of dependence1 and took a 
resolution never again to expose myself 
to it2 having seen the projects of      

ambition1 which circumstances had       
induced me to form1 overturned in their 
birth4  ,discouraged in the career ,i   
had so well begun1 from which1 however1 
,i had just been expelled1 ,i resolved  
never more to attach myself to any      
person1 but to remain in an independent 
state1 turning my talents to the best   
advantage3 of these ,i at length began  
to feel the extent1 and that ,i had     
hitherto had too modest an opinion of   
them4  ,i again took up my opera1 which 
,i had laid aside to go to ,venice2 and 
that ,i might be less interrupted after 
the departure of ,altuna1 ,i returned to
 my old hotel ,st4 ,quentin2 which1 in a
 solitary part of the town1 and not far 
from the ,luxembourg1 was more proper   
for my purpose than noisy ,rue ,st4     
,honor4  ,there the only consolation    
which ,heaven suffered me to taste in my
 misery1 and the only one which rendered
 it supportable1 awaited me4  ,this was 
not a trancient acquaintance2 ,i must   
enter into some detail relative to the  

manner in which it was made4  ,we had a 
new landlady from ,orleans2 she took for
 a needlewoman a girl from her own      
country1 of between twenty--two and     
twenty--three years of age1 and who1 as 
well as the hostess1 ate at our table4  
,this girl1 named ,theresa le ,vasseur1 
was of a good family2 her father was an 
officer in the mint of ,orleans1 and her
 mother a shopkeeper2 they had many     
children4 ,the function of the mint of  
,orleans being suppressed1 the father   
found himself without employment2 and   
the mother having suffered losses1 was  
reduced to narrow circumstances4  ,she  
quitted her business and came to ,paris 
with her husband and daughter1 who1 by  
her industry1 maintained all the three4 
,the first time ,i saw this girl at     
table1 ,i was struck with her modesty2  
and still more so with her lively yet   
charming look1 which1 with respect to   
the impression it made upon me1 was     
never equalled4  ,beside ,m4 de         
,bonnefond1 the company was composed of 

several ,irish priests1 ,gascons and    
others of much the same description4    
,our hostess herself had not made the   
best possible use of her time1 and ,i   
was the only person at the table who    
spoke and behaved with decency4         
,allurements were thrown out to the     
young girl4  ,i took her part1 and the  
joke was then turned against me4 ,had ,i
 had no natural inclination to the poor 
girl1 compassion and contradiction would
 have produced it in me3 ,i was always a
 great friend to decency in manners and 
conversation1 especially in the fair    
sex4  ,i openly declared myself her     
champion1 and perceived she was not     
insensible of my attention2 her looks1  
animated by the gratitude she dared not 
express by words1 were for this reason  
still more penetrating4  ,she was very  
timid1 and ,i was as much so as herself4
  ,the connection which this disposition
 common to both seemed to remove to a   
distance1 was however rapidly formed4   
,our landlady perceiving its progress1  

became furious1 and her brutality       
forwarded my affair with the young girl1
 who1 having no person in the house     
except myself to give her the least     
support1 was sorry to see me go from    
home1 and sighed for the return of her  
protector4  ,the affinity our hearts    
bore to each other1 and the similarity  
of our dispositions1 had soon their     
ordinary effect4  ,she thought she saw  
in me an honest man1 and in this she was
 not deceived4 ,i thought ,i perceived  
in her a woman of great sensibility1    
simple in her manners1 and devoid of all
 coquetry3--,i was no more deceived in  
her than she in me4  ,i began by        
declaring to her that ,i would never    
either abandon or marry her4  ,love1    
esteem1 artless sincerity were the      
ministers of my triumph1 and it was     
because her heart was tender and        
virtuous1 that ,i was happy without     
being presuming4  ,the apprehensions she
 was under of my not finding in her that
 for which ,i sought1 retarded my       

happiness more than every other         
circumstance4  ,i perceived her         
disconcerted and confused before she    
yielded her consent1 wishing to be      
understood and not daring to explain    
herself4  ,far from suspecting the real 
cause of her embarrassment1 ,i falsely  
imagined it to proceed from another     
motive1 a supposition highly insulting  
to her morals1 and thinking she gave me 
to understand my health might be exposed
 to danger1 ,i fell into so perplexed a 
state that1 although it was no restraint
 upon me1 it poisoned my happiness      
during several days4  ,as we did not    
understand each other1 our conversations
 upon this subject were so many enigmas 
more than ridiculous4  ,she was upon the
 point of believing ,i was absolutely   
mad2 and ,i on my part was as near not  
knowing what else to think of her4  ,at 
last we came to an explanation2 she     
confessed to me with tears the only     
fault of the kind of her whole life1    
immediately after she became nubile2 the

 fruit of her ignorance and the address 
of her seducer4  ,the moment ,i         
comprehended what she meant1 ,i gave a  
shout of joy4  ,a ,hymen6  exclaimed ,i2
 sought for at ,paris1 and at twenty    
years of age6  ,ah my ,theresa6  ,i am  
happy in possessing thee1 virtuous and  
healthy as thou art1 and in not finding 
that for which ,i never sought4  ,at    
first amusement was my only object2 ,i  
perceived ,i had gone further and had   
given myself a companion4  ,a little    
intimate connection with this excellent 
girl1 and a few reflections upon my     
situation1 made me discover that1 while 
thinking of nothing more than my        
pleasures1 ,i had done a great deal     
towards my happiness4  ,in the place of 
extinguished ambition1 a life of        
sentiment1 which had entire possession  
of my heart1 was necessary to me4  ,in a
 word1 ,i wanted a successor to mamma3  
since ,i was never again to live with   
her1 it was necessary some person should
 live with her pupil1 and a person1 too1

 in whom ,i might find that simplicity  
and docility of mind and heart which she
 had found in me4  ,it was1 moreover1   
necessary that the happiness of domestic
 life should indemnify me for the       
splendid career ,i had just renounced4  
,when ,i was quite alone there was a    
void in my heart1 which wanted nothing  
more than another heart to fill it up4  
,fate had deprived me of this1 or at    
least in part alienated me from that for
 which by nature ,i was formed4  ,from  
that moment ,i was alone1 for there     
never was for me the least thing        
intermediate between everything and     
nothing4  ,i found in ,theresa the      
supplement of which ,i stood in need2 by
 means of her ,i lived as happily as ,i 
possibly could do1 according to the     
course of events4  ,i at first attempted
 to improve her mind4  ,in this my pains
 were useless4 ,her mind is as nature   
formed it3 it was not susceptible of    
cultivation4 ,i do not blush in         
acknowledging she never knew how to read

 well1 although she writes tolerably4   
,when ,i went to lodge in the ,rue      
,neuve des ,petits ,champs1 opposite to 
my windows at the ,hotel de             
,ponchartrain1 there was a sun-dial1 on 
which for a whole month ,i used all my  
efforts to teach her to know the hours2 
yet1 she scarcely knows them at present4
  ,she never could enumerate the twelve 
months of the year in order1 and cannot 
distinguish one numeral from another1   
notwithstanding all the trouble ,i took 
endeavoring to teach them to her4  ,she 
neither knows how to count money1 nor to
 reckon the price of anything4  ,the    
word which when she speaks1 presents    
itself to her mind1 is frequently       
opposite to that of which she means to  
make use4  ,i formerly made a dictionary
 of her phrases1 to amuse ,m4 de        
,luxembourg1 and her 'qui pro quos'     
often became celebrated among those with
 whom ,i was most intimate4  ,but this  
person1 so confined in her intellects1  
and1 if the world pleases1 so stupid1   

can give excellent advice in cases of   
difficulty4  ,in ,switzerland1 in       
,england and in ,france1 she frequently 
saw what ,i had not myself perceived2   
she has often given me the best advice  
,i could possibly follow2 she has       
rescued me from dangers into which ,i   
had blindly precipitated myself1 and in 
the presence of princes and the great1  
her sentiments1 good sense1 answers1 and
 conduct have acquired her universal    
esteem1 and myself the most sincere     
congratulations on her merit4  ,with    
persons whom we love1 sentiment         
fortifies the mind as well as the heart2
 and they who are thus attached1 have   
little need of searching for ideas      
elsewhere4  ,i lived with my ,theresa as
 agreeably as with the finest genius in 
the world4  ,her mother1 proud of having
 been brought up under the ,marchioness 
of ,monpipeau1 attempted to be witty1   
wished to direct the judgment of her    
daughter1 and by her knavish cunning    
destroyed the simplicity of our         

intercourse4  ,the fatigue of this      
opportunity made me in some degree      
surmount the foolish shame which        
prevented me from appearing with        
,theresa in public2 and we took short   
country walks1 tete-a-tete1 and partook 
of little collations1 which1 to me1 were
 delicious4  ,i perceived she loved me  
sincerely1 and this increased my        
tenderness4  ,this charming intimacy    
left me nothing to wish2 futurity no    
longer gave me the least concern1 or at 
most appeared only as the present moment
 prolonged3 ,i had no other desire than 
that of insuring its duration4  ,this   
attachment rendered all other           
dissipation superfluous and insipid to  
me4  ,as ,i only went out for the       
purpose of going to the apartment of    
,theresa1 her place of residence almost 
became my own4  ,my retirement was so   
favorable to the work ,i had undertaken1
 that1 in less than three months1 my    
opera was entirely finished1 both words 
and music1 except a few accompaniments1 

and fillings up which still remained to 
be added4 ,this maneuvering business was
 very fatiguing to me4  ,i proposed it  
to ,philidor1 offering him at the same  
time a part of the profits4  ,he came   
twice1 and did something to the middle  
parts in the act of ,ovid2 but he could 
not confine himself to an assiduous     
application by the allurement of        
advantages which were distant and       
uncertain4  ,he did not come a third    
time1 and ,i finished the work myself4  
,my opera completed1 the next thing was 
to make something of it3 this was by    
much the more difficult task of the two4
  ,a man living in solitude in ,paris   
will never succeed in anything4  ,i was 
on the point of making my way by means  
of ,m4 de la ,popliniere1 to whom       
,gauffecourt1 at my return to ,geneva   
had introduced me4  ,m4 de la           
,popliniere was the ,mecaenas of        
,rameau2 ,madam de la ,popliniere his   
very humble scholar4  ,rameau was said  
to govern in that house4  ,judging that 

he would with pleasure protect the work 
of one of his disciples1 ,i wished to   
show him what ,i had done4  ,he refused 
to examine it2 saying he could not read 
score1 it was too fatiguing to him4  ,m4
 de la ,popliniere1 to obviate this     
difficulty1 said he might hear it2 and  
offered me to send for musicians to     
execute certain detached pieces4  ,i    
wished for nothing better4  ,rameau     
consented with an ill grace1 incessantly
 repeating that the composition of a man
 not regularly bred to the science1 and 
who had learned music without a master1 
must certainly be very fine6  ,i        
hastened to copy into parts five or six 
select passages4  ,ten symphonies were  
procured1 and ,albert1 ,berard1 and     
,mademoiselle ,bourbonois undertook the 
vocal part4  ,remeau1 the moment he     
heard the overture1 was purposely       
extravagant in his eulogium1 by which he
 intended it should be understood it    
could not be my composition4  ,he showed
 signs of impatience at every passage3  

but after a counter tenor song1 the air 
of which was noble and harmonious1 with 
a brilliant accompaniment1 he could no  
longer contain himself2 he apostrophised
 me with a brutality at which everybody 
was shocked1 maintaining that a part of 
what he had heard was by a man          
experienced in the art1 and the rest by 
some ignorant person who did not so much
 as understand music4  ,it is true my   
composition1 unequal and without rule1  
was sometimes sublime1 and at others    
insipid1 as that of a person who forms  
himself in an art by the soarings of his
 own genius1 unsupported by science1    
must necessarily be4  ,rameau pretended 
to see nothing in me but a contemptible 
pilferer1 without talents or taste4     
,the rest of the company1 among whom ,i 
must distinguish the master of the      
house1 were of a different opinion4  ,m4
 de ,richelieu1 who at that time        
frequently visited ,m4 and ,madam de la 
,popliniere1 heard them speak of my     
work1 and wished to hear the whole of   

it1 with an intention1 if it pleased    
him1 to have it performed at court4     
,the opera was executed with full       
choruses1 and by a great orchestra1 at  
the expense of the king1 at ,m4 de      
,bonneval's intendant of the ,menus2    
,francoeur directed the band4  ,the     
effect was surprising3 the duke never   
ceased to exclaim and applaud2 and1 at  
the end of one of the choruses1 in the  
act of ,tasso1 he arose and came to me1 
and1 pressing my hand1 said3 ,m4        
,rousseau1 this is transporting harmony4
 ,i never heard anything finer4  ,i will
 get this performed at ,versailles4     
,madam de la ,poliniere1 who was        
present1 said not a word4  ,rameau1     
although invited1 refused to come4  ,the
 next day1 ,madam de la ,popliniere     
received me at her toilette very        
ungraciously1 affected to undervalue my 
piece1 and told me1 that although a     
little false glitter had at first       
dazzled ,m4 de ,richelieu1 he had       
recovered from his error1 and she       

advised me not to place the least       
dependence upon my opera4  ,the duke    
arrived soon after1 and spoke to me in  
quite a different language4  ,he said   
very flattering things of my talents1   
and seemed as much disposed as ever to  
have my composition performed before the
 king4  ,there is nothing1 said he1 but 
the act of ,tasso which cannot pass at  
court3 you must write another4  ,upon   
this single word ,i shut myself up in my
 apartment2 and in three weeks produced1
 in the place of ,tasso1 another act1   
the subject of which was ,hesiod        
inspired by the muses4  ,in this ,i     
found the secret of introducing a part  
of the history of my talents1 and of the
 jealousy with which ,rameau had been   
pleased to honor me4  ,there was in the 
new act an elevation less gigantic and  
better supported than in the act of     
,tasso4 ,the music was as noble and the 
composition better2 and had the other   
two acts been equal to this1 the whole  
piece would have supported a            

representation to advantage4  ,but      
whilst ,i was endeavoring to give it the
 last finishing1 another undertaking    
suspended the completion of that ,i had 
in my hand4  ,in the winter which       
succeeded the battle of ,fontenoi1 there
 were many galas at ,versailles1 and    
several operas performed at the theater 
of the little stables4  ,among the      
number of the latter was the dramatic   
piece of ,voltaire1 entitled ',la       
,princesse de ,navarre'1 the music by   
,rameau1 the name of which has just been
 changed to that of ',fetes de ,ramire'4
  ,this new subject required several    
changes to be made in the               
divertissements1 as well in the poetry  
as in the music4  ,a person capable of  
both was now sought after4  ,voltaire   
was in ,lorraine1 and ,rameau also2 both
 of whom were employed on the opera of  
the ,temple of ,glory1 and could not    
give their attention to this4  ,m4 de   
,richelieu thought of me1 and sent to   
desire ,i would undertake the           

alterations2 and1 that ,i might the     
better examine what there was to do1 he 
gave me separately the poem and the     
music4 ,in the first place1 ,i would not
 touch the words without the consent of 
the author1 to whom ,i wrote upon the   
subject a very polite and respectful    
letter1 such a one as was proper2 and   
received from him the following answer3 
,,sir3 ,in you two talents1 which       
hitherto have always been separated1 are
 united4 ,these are two good reasons for
 me to esteem and to endeavor to love   
you4 ,i am sorry1 on your account1 you  
should employ these talents in a work   
which is so little worthy of them4  ,a  
few months ago the ,duke de ,richelieu  
commanded me to make1 absolutely in the 
twinkling of an eye1 a little and bad   
sketch of a few insipid and imperfect   
scenes to be adapted to divertissements 
which are not of a nature to be joined  
with them4  ,i obeyed with the greatest 
exactness4  ,i wrote very fast1 and very
 ill4  ,i sent this wretched production 

to ,m4 de ,richelieu1 imagining he would
 make no use of it1 or that ,i should   
have it again to make the necessary     
corrections4  ,happily it is in your    
hands1 and you are at full liberty to do
 with it whatever you please3 ,i have   
entirely lost sight of the thing4  ,i   
doubt not but you will have corrected   
all the faults which cannot but abound  
in so hasty a composition of such a very
 simple sketch1 and am persuaded you    
will have supplied whatever was wanting4
  ,i remember that1 among other stupid  
inattentions1 no account is given in the
 scenes which connect the               
divertissements of the manner in which  
the ,grenadian prince immediately passes
 from a prison to a garden or palace4   
,as it is not a magician but a ,spanish 
nobleman who gives her the gala1 ,i am  
of opinion nothing should be effected by
 enchantment4  ,i beg1 sir1 you will    
examine this part1 of which ,i have but 
a confused idea4  ,you will likewise    
consider1 whether or not it be necessary

 the prison should be opened1 and the   
princess conveyed from it to a fine     
palace1 gilt and varnished1 and prepared
 for her4  ,i know all this is wretched1
 and that it is beneath a thinking being
 to make a serious affair of such       
trifles2 but1 since we must displease as
 little as possible1 it is necessary we 
should conform to reason1 even in a bad 
divertissement of an opera4  ,i depend  
wholly upon you and ,m4 ,ballot1 and    
soon expect to have the honor of        
returning you my thanks1 and assuring   
you how much ,i am1 etc4  ,there is     
nothing surprising in the great         
politeness of this letter1 compared with
 the almost crude ones which he has     
since written to me4 ,he thought ,i was 
in great favor with ,madam ,richelieu2  
and the courtly suppleness1 which       
everyone knows to be the character of   
this author1 obliged him to be extremely
 polite to a new comer1 until he become 
better acquainted with the measure of   
the favor and patronage he enjoyed4     

,authorized by ,m4 de ,voltaire1 and not
 under the necessity of giving myself   
the least concern about ,m4 ,rameau1 who
 endeavored to injure me1 ,i set to     
work1 and in two months my undertaking  
was finished4  ,with respect to the     
poetry1 it was confined to a mere       
trifle2 ,i aimed at nothing more than to
 prevent the difference of style from   
being perceived1 and had the vanity to  
think ,i had succeeded4  ,the musical   
part was longer and more laborious4     
,besides my having to compose several   
preparatory pieces1 and1 amongst others1
 the overture1 all the recitative1 with 
which ,i was charged1 was extremely     
difficult on account of the necessity   
there was of connecting1 in a few       
verses1 and by very rapid modulations1  
symphonies and choruses1 in keys very   
different from each other2 for ,i was   
determined neither to change nor        
transpose any of the airs1 that ,rameau 
might not accuse me of having disfigured
 them4 ,i succeeded in the recitative2  

it was well accented1 full of energy and
 excellent modulation4 ,the idea of two 
men of superior talents1 with whom ,i   
was associated1 had elevated my genius1 
and ,i can assert1 that in this barren  
and inglorious task1 of which the public
 could have no knowledge1 ,i was for the
 most part equal to my models4  ,the    
piece1 in the state to which ,i had     
brought it1 was rehearsed in the great  
theatre of the opera4  ,of the three    
authors who had contributed to the      
production1 ,i was the only one present4
  ,voltaire was not in ,paris1 and      
,rameau either did not come1 or         
concealed himself4  ,the words of the   
first monologue were very mournful2 they
 began with3            ,o ,mort6 viens 
terminer les malheurs de ma vie4        
,o ,death6 hasten to terminate the      
misfortunes of my life4  ,to these1     
suitable music was necessary4  ,it was1 
however1 upon this that ,madam de la    
,popliniere founded her censure2        
accusing me1 with much bitterness1 of   

having composed a funeral anthem4  ,m4  
de ,richelieu very judiciously began by 
informing himself who was the author of 
the poetry of this monologue2 ,i        
presented him the manuscript he had sent
 me1 which proved it was by ,voltaire4  
,in that case1 said the duke1 ,voltaire 
alone is to blame4  ,during the         
rehearsal1 everything ,i had done was   
disapproved by ,madam de la ,popliniere1
 and approved of by ,m4 de ,richelieu2  
but ,i had afterwards to do with too    
powerful an adversary4 ,it was signified
 to me that several parts of my         
composition wanted revising1 and that on
 this it was necessary ,i should consult
 ,m4 ,rameau2 my heart was wounded by   
such a conclusion1 instead of the       
eulogium ,i expected1 and which         
certainly ,i merited1 and ,i returned to
 my apartment overwhelmed with grief1   
exhausted with fatigue1 and consumed by 
chagrin4 ,i was immediately taken ill1  
and confined to my chamber for upwards  
of six weeks4  ,rameau1 who was charged 

with the alterations indicated by ,madam
 de la ,popliniere1 sent to ask me for  
the overture of my great opera1 to      
substitute it to that ,i had just       
composed4  ,happily ,i perceived the    
trick he intended to play me1 and       
refused him the overture4  ,as the      
performance was to be in five or six    
days1 he had not time to make one1 and  
was obliged to leave that ,i had        
prepared4  ,it was in the ,italian      
taste1 and in a style at that time quite
 new in ,france4  ,it gave satisfaction1
 and ,i learned from ,m4 de ,valmalette1
 maitre d'hotel to the king1 and        
son-in-law to ,m4 ,mussard1 my relation 
and friend1 that the connoisseurs were  
highly satisfied with my work1 and that 
the public had not distinguished it from
 that of ,rameau4  ,however1 he and     
,madam de la ,popliniere took measures  
to prevent any person from knowing ,i   
had any concern in the matter4  ,in the 
books distributed to the audience1 and  
in which the authors are always named1  

,voltaire was the only person mentioned1
 and ,rameau preferred the suppression  
of his own name to seeing it associated 
with mine4  ,as soon as ,i was in a     
situation to leave my room1 ,i wished to
 wait upon ,m4 de ,richelieu1 but it was
 too late2 he had just set off for      
,dunkirk1 where he was to command the   
expedition destined to ,scotland4  ,at  
his return1 said ,i to myself1 to       
authorize my idleness1 it will be too   
late for my purpose1 not having seen him
 since that time4  ,i lost the honor of 
mywork and the emoluments it should have
 produced me1 besides considering my    
time1 trouble1 grief1 and vexation1 my  
illness1 and the money this cost me1    
without ever receiving the least        
benefit1 or rather1 recompense4         
,however1 ,i always thought ,m4 de      
,richelieu was disposed to serve me1 and
 that he had a favorable opinion of my  
talents2 but my misfortune1 and ,madam  
de la ,popliniere1 prevented the effect 
of his good wishes4  ,i could not divine

 the reason of the aversion this lady   
had to me4  ,i had always endeavored to 
make myself agreeable to her1 and       
regularly paid her my court4            
,gauffecourt explained to me the causes 
of her dislike3 ,the first1 said he1 is 
her friendship for ,rameau1 of whom she 
is the declared panegyrist1 and who will
 not suffer a competitor2 the next is an
 original sin1 which ruins you in her   
estimation1 and which she will never    
forgive2 you are a ,genevese4  ,upon    
this he told me the ,abbe ,hubert1 who  
was from the same city1 and the sincere 
friend of ,m4 de la ,popliniere1 had    
used all his efforts to prevent him from
 marrying this lady1 with whose         
character and temper he was very well   
acquainted2 and that after the marriage 
she had vowed him an implacable hatred1 
as well as all the ,genevese4  ,although
 ,la ,popliniere has a friendship for   
you1 do not1 said he1 depend upon his   
protection3 he is still in love with his
 wife3 she hates you1 and is vindictive 

and artful2 you will never do anything  
in that house4  ,all this ,i took for   
granted4  ,the same ,gauffecourt        
rendered me much about this time1 a     
service of which ,i stood in the        
greatest need4  ,i had just lost my     
virtuous father1 who was about sixty    
years of age4  ,i felt this loss less   
severely than ,i should have done at any
 other time1 when the embarrassments of 
my situation had less engaged my        
attention4  ,during his life-time ,i had
 never claimed what remained of the     
property of my mother1 and of which he  
received the little interest4  ,his     
death removed all my scruples upon this 
subject4  ,but the want of a legal proof
 of the death of my brother created a   
difficulty which ,gauffecourt undertook 
to remove1 and this he effected by means
 of the good offices of the advocate ,de
 ,lolme4  ,as ,i stood in need of the   
little resource1 and the event being    
doubtful1 ,i waited for a definitive    
account with the greatest anxiety4  ,one

 evening on entering my apartment ,i    
found a letter1 which ,i knew to contain
 the information ,i wanted1 and ,i took 
it up with an impatient trembling1 of   
which ,i was inwardly ashamed4  ,what8  
said ,i to myself1 with disdain1 shall  
,jean ,jacques thus suffer himself to be
 subdued by interest and curiosity8  ,i 
immediately laid the letter again upon  
the chimney-piece4  ,i undressed myself1
 went to bed with great composure1 slept
 better than ordinary1 and rose in the  
morning at a late hour1 without thinking
 more of my letter4  ,as ,i dressed     
myself1 it caught my eye2 ,i broke the  
seal very leisurely1 and found under the
 envelope a bill of exchange4  ,i felt a
 variety of pleasing sensations at the  
same time3 but ,i can assert1 upon my   
honor1 that the most lively of them all 
was that proceeding from having known   
how to be master of myself4  ,i could   
mention twenty such circumstances in my 
life1 but ,i am too much pressed for    
time to say everything4  ,i sent a small

 part of this money to my poor mamma2   
regretting1 with my eyes suffused with  
tears1 the happy time when ,i should    
have laid it all at her feet4  ,all her 
letters contained evident marks of her  
distress4  ,she sent me piles of        
recipes1 and numerous secrets1 with     
which she pretended ,i might make my    
fortune and her own4  ,the idea of her  
wretchedness already affected her heart 
and contracted her mind4  ,the little ,i
 sent her fell a prey to the knaves by  
whom she was surrounded2 she received   
not the least advantage from anything4  
,the idea of dividing what was necessary
 to my own subsistence with these       
wretches disgusted me1 especially after 
the vain attempt ,i had made to deliver 
her from them1 and of which ,i shall    
have occasion to speak4  ,time slipped  
away1 and with it the little money ,i   
had2 we were two1 or indeed1 four       
persons2 or1 to speak still more        
correctly1 seven or eight4  ,although   
,theresa was disinterested to a degree  

of which there are but few examples1 her
 mother was not so4  ,she was no sooner 
a little relieved from her necessities  
by my cares1 than she sent for her whole
 family to partake of the fruits of     
them4  ,her sisters1 sons1 daughters1   
all except her eldest daughter1 married 
to the director of the coaches of       
,augers1 came to ,paris4  ,everything ,i
 did for ,theresa1 her mother diverted  
from its original destination in favor  
of these people who were starving4 ,i   
had not to do with an avaricious person2
 and1 not being under the influence of  
an unruly passion1 ,i was not guilty of 
follies4  ,satisfied with genteelly     
supporting ,theresa without luxury1 and 
unexposed to pressing wants1 ,i readily 
consented to let all the earnings of her
 industry go to the profit of her       
mother2 and to this even ,i did not     
confine myself2 but1 by a fatality by   
which ,i was pursued1 whilst mamma was a
 prey to the rascals about her ,theresa 
was the same to her family2 and ,i could

 not do anything on either side for the 
benefit of her to whom the succor ,i    
gave was destined4  ,it was odd enough  
the youngest child of ,m4 de la         
,vasseur1 the only one who had not      
received a marriage portion from her    
parents1 should provide for their       
subsistence2 and that1 after having     
along time been beaten by her brothers1 
sisters1 and even her nieces1 the poor  
girl should be plundered by them all1   
without being more able to defend       
herself from their thefts than from     
their blows4  ,one of her nieces1 named 
,gorton le ,duc1 was of a mild and      
amiable character2 although spoiled by  
the lessons and examples of the others4 
,as ,i frequently saw them together1 ,i 
gave them names1 which they afterwards  
gave to each other2 ,i called the niece 
my niece1 and the aunt my aunt2 they    
both called me uncle4  ,hence the name  
of aunt1 by which ,i continued to call  
,theresa1 and which my friends sometimes
 jocosely repeated4  ,it will be judged 

that in such a situation ,i had not a   
moment to lose1 before ,i attempted to  
extricate myself4  ,imagining ,m4 de    
,richelieu had forgotten me1 and having 
no more hopes from the court1 ,i made   
some attempts to get my opera brought   
out at ,paris2 but ,i met with          
difficulties which could not immediately
 be removed1 and my situation became    
daily more painful4  ,i presented my    
little comedy of ,narcisse to the       
,italians2 it was received1 and ,i had  
the freedom of the theatre1 which gave  
much pleasure4  ,but this was all2 ,i   
could never get my piece performed1 and1
 tired of paying my court to players1 ,i
 gave myself no more trouble about them4
  ,at length ,i had recourse to the last
 expedient which remained to me1 and the
 only one of which ,i ought to have made
 use4 ,while frequenting the house of   
,m4 de la ,popliniere1 ,i had neglected 
the family of ,dupin4  ,the two ladies1 
although related1 were not on good      
terms1 and never saw each other4  ,there

 was not the least intercourse between  
the two families1 and ,thieriot was the 
only person who visited both4  ,he was  
desired to endeavor to bring me again to
 ,m4 ,dupin's4  ,m4 de ,francueil was   
then studying natural history and       
chemistry1 and collecting a cabinet4  ,i
 believe he aspired to become a member  
of the ,academy of ,sciences2 to this   
effect he intended to write a book1 and 
judged ,i might be of use to him in the 
undertaking4  ,madam de ,dupin1 who1 on 
her part1 had another work in           
contemplation1 had much the same views  
in respect to me4  ,they wished to have 
me in common as a kind of secretary1 and
 this was the reason of the invitations 
of ,thieriot4  ,i required that ,m4 de  
,francueil should previously employ his 
interest with that of ,jelyote to get my
 work rehearsed at the operahouse2 to   
this he consented4  ,the ,muses         
,galantes were several times rehearsed1 
first at the ,magazine1 and afterwards  
in the great theatre4  ,the audience was

 very numerous at the great rehearsal1  
and several parts of the composition    
were highly applauded4  ,however1 during
 this rehearsal1 very ill-conducted by  
,rebel1 ,i felt the piece would not be  
received2 and that1 before it could     
appear1 great alterations were          
necessary4  ,i therefore withdrew it    
without saying a word1 or exposing      
myself to a refusal2 but ,i plainly     
perceived1 by several indications1 that 
the work1 had it been perfect1 could not
 have succeeded4  ,m4 de ,francueil had 
promised me to get it rehearsed1 but not
 that it should be received4  ,he       
exactly kept his word4  ,i thought ,i   
perceived on this occasion1 as well as  
many others1 that neither ,madam ,dupin 
nor himself were willing ,i should      
acquire a certain reputation in the     
world1 lest1 after the publication of   
their books1 it should be supposed they 
had grafted their talents upon mine4    
,yet as ,madam ,dupin always supposed   
those ,i had to be very moderate1 and   

never employed me except it was to write
 what she dictated1 or in researches of 
pure erudition1 the reproach1 with      
respect to her1 would have been unjust4 
,this last failure of success completed 
my discouragement4  ,i abandoned every  
prospect of fame and advancement2 and1  
without further troubling my head about 
real or imaginary talents1 with which ,i
 had so little success1 ,i dedicated my 
whole time and cares to procure myself  
and ,theresa a subsistence in the manner
 most pleasing to those to whom it      
should be agreeable to provide for it4  
,i therefore entirely attached myself to
 ,madam ,dupin and ,m4 de ,francueil4   
,this did not place me in a very opulent
 situation2 for with eight or nine      
hundred livres1 which ,i had the first  
two years1 ,i had scarcely enough to    
provide for my primary wants2 being     
obliged to live in their neighborhood1 a
 dear part of the town1 in a furnished  
lodging1 and having to pay for another  
lodging at the extremity of ,paris1 at  

the very top of the ,rue ,saint         
,jacques1 to which1 let the weather be  
as it would1 ,i went almost every       
evening to supper4  ,i soon got into the
 track of my new occupations1 and       
conceived a taste for them4 ,i attached 
myself to the study of chemistry1 and   
attended several courses of it with ,m4 
de ,francueil at ,m4 ,rouelle's1 and we 
began to scribble over paper upon that  
science1 of which we scarcely possessed 
the elements4 ,in #agag1 we went to pass
 the autumn in ,tourraine1 at the castle
 of ,chenonceaux1 a royal mansion upon  
the ,cher1 built by ,henry the ,,ii1 for
 ,diana of ,poitiers1 of whom the       
ciphers are still seen1 and which is now
 in the possession of ,m4 ,dupin1 a     
farmer general4  ,we amused ourselves   
very agreeably in this beautiful place1 
and lived very well3 ,i became as fat   
there as a monk4  ,music was a favorite 
relaxation4  ,i composed several trios  
full of harmony1 and of which ,i may    
perhaps speak in my supplement if ever  

,i should write one4  ,theatrical       
performances were another resource4  ,i 
wrote a comedy in fifteen days1 entitled
 'l',engagement ,temeraire'1--,the ,rash
 ,engagement--which will be found       
amongst my papers2 it has no other merit
 than that of being lively4 ,i composed 
several other little things3 amongst    
others a poem entitled1 'l',aliee de    
,sylvie'1 from the name of an alley in  
the park upon the bank of the ,cher2 and
 this without discontinuing my chemical 
studies1 or interrupting what ,i had to 
do for ,madam ,dupin4  ,whilst ,i was   
increasing my corpulency at             
,chenonceaux1 that of my poor ,theresa  
was augmented at ,paris in another      
manner1 and at my return ,i found the   
work ,i had put upon the frame in       
greater forwardness than ,i had         
expected4  ,this1 on account of my      
situation1 would have thrown me into the
 greatest embarrassment1 had not one of 
my messmates furnished me with the only 
resource which could relieve me from it4

  ,this is one of those essential       
narratives which ,i cannot give with too
 much simplicity2 because1 in making an 
improper use of their names1 ,i should  
either excuse or inculpate myself1 both 
of which in this place are entirely out 
of the question4  ,during the residence 
of ,altuna at ,paris1 instead of going  
to eat at a ',traiteurs'1 he and ,i     
commonly eat in the neighborhood1 almost
 opposite the cul de sac of the opera1  
at the house of a ,madam la ,selle1 the 
wife of a tailor1 who gave but very     
ordinary dinners1 but whose table was   
much frequented on account of the safe  
company which generally resorted to it2 
no person was received without being    
introduced by one of those who used the 
house4  ,the commander1 ,de ,graville1  
an old debauchee1 with much wit and     
politeness1 but obscene in conversation1
 lodged at the house1 and brought to it 
a set of riotous and extravagant young  
men2 officers in the guards and         
mousquetaires4  ,the ,commander de      

,nonant1 chevalier to all the girls of  
the opera1 was the daily oracle1 who    
conveyed to us the news of this motley  
crew4  ,m4 du ,plessis1 a               
lieutenant-colonel1 retired from the    
service1 an old man of great goodness   
and wisdom2 and ,m4 ,ancelet1       ,it 
was to this ,m4 ,ancelet ,i gave a      
little comedy1 after my own      manner 
entitled 'les ,prisouniers de ,guerre'1 
which ,i wrote after the      disasters 
of the ,french in ,bavaria and ,bohemia3
 ,i dared not either      avow this     
comedy or show it1 and this for the     
singular reason that      neither the   
,king of ,france nor the ,french were   
ever better spoken of      nor praised  
with more sincerity of heart than in my 
piece though      written by a professed
 republican1 ,i dared not declare myself
 the      panegyrist of a nation1 whose 
maxims were exactly the reverse of my   
own4  ,more grieved at the misfortunes  
of ,france than the ,french             
themselves ,i was afraid the public     

would construe into flattery and        
mean complaisance the marks of a sincere
 attachment1 of which in my      first  
part ,i have mentioned the date and the 
cause1 and which ,i was      ashamed to 
show4  an officer in the mousquetaires  
kept the young people in a certain kind 
of order4  ,this table was also         
frequented by commercial people1        
financiers and contractors1 but         
extremely polite1 and such as were      
distinguished amongst those of the same 
profession4  ,m4 de ,besse1 ,m4 de      
,forcade1 and others whose names ,i have
 forgotten1 in short1 well-dressed      
people of every description were seen   
there2 except abbes and men of the long 
robe1 not one of whom ,i ever met in the
 house1 and it was agreed not to        
introduce men of either of these        
professions4  ,this table1 sufficiently 
resorted to1 was very cheerful without  
being noisy1 and many of the guests were
 waggish1 without descending to         
vulgarity4  ,the old commander with all 

his smutty stories1 with respect to the 
substance1 never lost sight of the      
politeness of the old court2 nor did any
 indecent expression1 which even women  
would not have pardoned him1 escape his 
lips4  ,his manner served as a rule to  
every person at table2 all the young men
 related their adventures of gallantry  
with equal grace and freedom1 and these 
narratives were the more complete1 as   
the seraglio was at the door2 the entry 
which led to it was the same2 for there 
was a communication between this and the
 shop of ,le ,duchapt1 a celebrated     
milliner1 who at that time had several  
very pretty girls1 with whom our young  
people went to chat before or after     
dinner4  ,i should thus have amused     
myself as well as the rest1 had ,i been 
less modest3 ,i had only to go in as    
they did1 but this ,i never had courage 
enough to do4  ,with respect to ,madam  
de ,selle1 ,i often went to eat at her  
house after the departure of ,altuna4   
,i learned a great number of amusing    

anecdotes1 and by degrees ,i adopted1   
thank ,god1 not the morals1 but the     
maxims ,i found to be established there4
  ,honest men injured1 husbands         
deceived1 women seduced1 were the most  
ordinary topics1 and he who had best    
filled the foundling hospital was always
 the most applauded4  ,i caught the     
manners ,i daily had before my eyes3 ,i 
formed my manner of thinking upon that  
,i observed to be the reigning one      
amongst amiable3 and upon the whole1    
very honest people4  ,i said to myself1 
since it is the custom of the country1  
they who live here may adopt it2 this is
 the expedient for which ,i sought4  ,i 
cheerfully determined upon it without   
the least scruple1 and the only one ,i  
had to overcome was that of ,theresa1   
whom1 with the greatest imaginable      
difficulty1 ,i persuaded to adopt this  
only means of saving her honor4  ,her   
mother1 who was moreover apprehensive of
 a new embarrassment by an increase of  
family1 came to my aid1 and she at      

length suffered herself to be prevailed 
upon4  ,we made choice of a midwife1 a  
safe and prudent woman1 ,mademoiselle   
,gouin1 who lived at the ,point ,saint  
,eustache1 and when the time came1      
,theresa was conducted to her house by  
her mother4  ,i went thither several    
times to see her1 and gave her a cipher 
which ,i had made double upon two cards2
 one of them was put into the linen of  
the child1 and by the midwife deposited 
with the infant in the office of the    
foundling hospital according to the     
customary form4  ,the year following1 a 
similar inconvenience was remedied by   
the same expedient1 excepting the       
cipher1 which was forgotten3 no more    
reflection on my part1 nor approbation  
on that of the mother2 she obeyed with  
trembling4  ,all the vicissitudes which 
this fatal conduct has produced in my   
manner of thinking1 as well as in my    
destiny1 will be successively seen4     
,for the present1 we will confine       
ourselves to this first period2 its     

cruel and unforeseen consequences will  
but too frequently oblige me to refer to
 it4  ,i here mark that of my first     
acquaintance with ,madam ,d',epinay1    
whose name will frequently appear in    
these memoirs4  ,she was a ,mademoiselle
 ,d' ,esclavelles1 and had lately been  
married to ,m4 ,d',epinay1 son of ,m4 de
 ,lalive de ,bellegarde1 a farmer       
general4  ,she understood music1 and a  
passion for the art produced between    
these three persons the greatest        
intimacy4  ,madam ,prancueil introduced 
me to ,madam ,d',epinay1 and we         
sometimes supped together at her house4 
,she was amiable1 had wit and talent1   
and was certainly a desirable           
acquaintance2 but she had a female      
friend1 a ,mademoiselle d',ette1 who was
 said to have much malignancy in her    
disposition2 she lived with the         
,chevalier de ,valory1 whose temper was 
far from being one of the best4  ,i am  
of opinion1 an acquaintance with these  
two persons was prejudicial to ,madam   

,d',epinay1 to whom1 with a disposition 
which required the greatest attention   
from those about her1 nature had given  
very excellent qualities to regulate or 
counterbalance her extravagant          
pretensions4  ,m4 de ,francueil inspired
 her with a part of the friendship he   
had conceived for me1 and told me of the
 connection between them1 of which1 for 
that reason1 ,i would not now speak1    
were it not become so public as not to  
be concealed from ,m4 ,d',epinay        
himself4  ,m4 de ,francueil confided to 
me secrets of a very singular nature    
relative to this lady1 of which she     
herself never spoke to me1 nor so much  
as suspected my having a knowledge2 for 
,i never opened my lips to her upon the 
subject1 nor will ,i ever do it to any  
person4  ,the confidence all parties had
 in my prudence rendered my situation   
very embarrassing1 especially with      
,madam de ,francueil1 whose knowledge of
 me was sufficient to remove from her   
all suspicion on my account1 although ,i

 was connected with her rival4  ,i did  
everything ,i could to console this poor
 woman1 whose husband certainly did not 
return the affection she had for him4 ,i
 listened to these three persons        
separately2 ,i kept all their secrets so
 faithfully that not one of the three   
ever drew from me those of the two      
others1 and this1 without concealing    
from either of the women my attachment  
to each of them4  ,madam de ,francueil1 
who frequently wished to make me an     
agent1 received refusals in form1 and   
,madam ,d',epinay1 once desiring me to  
charge myself with a letter to ,m4 de   
,francueil received the same            
mortification1 accompanied by a very    
express declaration1 that if ever she   
wished to drive me forever from the     
house1 she had only a second time to    
make me a like proposition4  ,in justice
 to ,madam ,d',epinay1 ,i must say1 that
 far from being offended with me she    
spoke of my conduct to ,m4 de ,francueil
 in terms of the highest approbation1   

and continued to receive me as well1 and
 as politely as ever4  ,it was thus1    
amidst the heart-burnings of three      
persons to whom ,i was obliged to behave
 with the greatest circumspection1 on   
whom ,i in some measure depended1 and   
for whom ,i had conceived an attachment1
 that by conducting myself with mildness
 and complaisance1 although accompanied 
with the greatest firmness1 ,i preserved
 unto the last not only their           
friendship1 but their esteem and        
confidence4  ,notwithstanding my        
absurdities and awkwardness1 ,madam     
,d',epinay would have me make one of the
 party to the ,chevrette1 a             
country-house1 near ,saint ,denis1      
belonging to ,m4 de ,bellegarde4  ,there
 was a theatre1 in which performances   
were not unfrequent4  ,i had a part     
given me1 which ,i studied for six      
months without intermission1 and in     
which1 on the evening of the            
representation1 ,i was obliged to be    
prompted from the beginning to the end4 

,after this experiment no second        
proposal of the kind was ever made to   
me4  ,my acquaintance with ,m4          
,d',epinay procured me that of her      
sister-in-law1 ,mademoiselle de         
,bellegarde1 who soon afterwards became 
,countess of ,houdetot4  ,the first time
 ,i saw her she was upon the point of   
marriage2 when she conversed with me a  
long time1 with that charming           
familiarity which was natural to her4   
,i thought her very amiable1 but ,i was 
far from perceiving that this young     
person would lead me1 although          
innocently1 into the abyss in which ,i  
still remain4  ,although ,i have not    
spoken of ,diderot since my return from 
,venice1 no more than of my friend ,m4  
,roguin1 ,i did not neglect either of   
them1 especially the former1 with whom  
,i daily became more intimate4  ,he had 
a ,nannette1 as well as ,i a ,theresa2  
this was between us another conformity  
of circumstances4  ,but my ,theresa1 as 
fine a woman as his ,nannette1 was of a 

mild and amiable character1 which might 
gain and fix the affections of a worthy 
man2 whereas ,nannette was a vixen1 a   
troublesome prater1 and had no qualities
 in the eyes of others which in any     
measure compensated for her want of     
education4  ,however he married her1    
which was well done of him1 if he had   
given a promise to that effect4  ,i1 for
 my part1 not having entered into any   
such engagement1 was not in the least   
haste to imitate him4  ,i was also      
connected with the ,abbe de ,condillac1 
who had acquired no more literary fame  
than myself1 but in whom there was every
 appearance of his becoming what he now 
is4  ,i was perhaps the first who       
discovered the extent of his abilities1 
and esteemed them as they deserved4  ,he
 on his part seemed satisfied with me1  
and1 whilst shut up in my chamber in the
 ,rue ,jean ,saint ,denis1 near the     
opera-house1 ,i composed my act of      
,hesiod1 he sometimes came to dine with 
me tete-a-tete4  ,we sent for our       

dinner1 and paid share and share alike4 
,he was at that time employed on his    
,essay on the ,origin of ,human         
,knowledge1 which was his first work4   
,when this was finished1 the difficulty 
was to find a bookseller who would take 
it4  ,the booksellers of ,paris are shy 
of every author at his beginning1 and   
metaphysics1 not much then in vogue1    
were no very inviting subject4 ,i spoke 
to ,diderot of ,condillac and his work1 
and ,i afterwards brought them          
acquainted with each other4  ,they were 
worthy of each other's esteem1 and were 
presently on the most friendly terms4   
,diderot persuaded the bookseller1      
,durand1 to take the manuscript from the
 abbe1 and this great metaphysician     
received for his first work1 and almost 
as a favor1 a hundred crowns1 which     
perhaps he would not have obtained      
without my assistance4  ,as we lived in 
a quarter of the town very distant from 
each other1 we all assembled once a week
 at the ,palais ,royal1 and went to dine

 at the ,hotel du ,panier ,fleuri4      
,these little weekly dinners must have  
been extremely pleasing to ,diderot2 for
 he who failed in almost all his        
appointments never missed one of these4 
,at our little meeting ,i formed the    
plan of a periodical paper1 entitled 'le
 ,persifleur'--,the ,jeerer --which     
,diderot and ,i were alternately to     
write4  ,i sketched out the first sheet1
 and this brought me acquainted with    
,d',alembert1 to whom ,diderot had      
mentioned it4  ,unforeseen events       
frustrated our intention1 and the       
project was carried no further4  ,these 
two authors had just undertaken the     
',dictionnaire ,encyclopedique'1 which  
at first was intended to be nothing more
 than a kind of translation of          
,chambers1 something like that of the   
,medical ,dictionary of ,james1 which   
,diderot had just finished4  ,diderot   
was desirous ,i should do something in  
this second undertaking1 and proposed to
 me the musical part1 which ,i accepted4

  ,this ,i executed in great haste1 and 
consequently very ill1 in the three     
months he had given me1 as well as all  
the authors who were engaged in the     
work4  ,but ,i was the only person in   
readiness at the time prescribed4  ,i   
gave him my manuscript1 which ,i had    
copied by a laquais1 belonging to ,m4 de
 ,francueil of the name of ,dupont1 who 
wrote very well4  ,i paid him ten crowns
 out of my own pocket1 and these have   
never been reimbursed me4  ,diderot had 
promised me a retribution on the part of
 the booksellers1 of which he has never 
since spoken to me nor ,i to him4  ,this
 undertaking of the ',encyclopedie' was 
interrupted by his imprisonment4  ,the  
',pensees ,philosophiquiest' drew upon  
him some temporary inconvenience which  
had no disagreeable consequences4  ,he  
did not come off so easily on account of
 the ',lettre sur les ,aveugles'1       
--,letter concerning blind persons4--in 
which there was nothing reprehensible1  
but some personal attacks with which    

,madam du ,pre ,st4 ,maur1 and ,m4 de   
,raumur were displeased3 for this he was
 confined in the dungeon of ,vincennes4 
,nothing can describe the anguish ,i    
felt on account of the misfortunes of my
 friend4  ,my wretched imagination1     
which always sees everything in the     
worst light1 was terrified4  ,i imagined
 him to be confined for the remainder of
 his life4  ,i was almost distracted    
with the thought4  ,i wrote to ,madam de
 ,pompadour1 beseeching her to release  
him or obtain an order to shut me up in 
the same dungeon4  ,i received no answer
 to my letter3 this was too reasonable  
to be efficacious1 and ,i do not flatter
 myself that it contributed to the      
alleviation which1 some time afterwards1
 was granted to the severities of the   
confinement of poor ,diderot4  ,had this
 continued for any length of time with  
the same rigor1 ,i verily believe ,i    
should have died in despair at the foot 
of the hated dungeon4  ,however1 if my  
letter produced but little effect1 ,i   

did not on account of it attribute to   
myself much merit1 for ,i mentioned it  
but to very few people1 and never to    
,diderot himself4