,,the ,,american ,,gentleman',s ,,guide ,,to ,,politeness ,,and ,,fashion2 ,,or1 ,,familiar ,,letters ,,to ,,his ,,nephews4 ,,by ,,henry ,,lunettes4 ,the good old name of ,,gentleman4 ,,tennyson4 ,people sometimes complain of writers who talk of ,i1 ,i4 99 99 99 99 ,when ,i speak to you of myself1 ,i am speaking to you of yourself1 also4 ,is it possible that you do not feel that it is so8 ,,victor ,,hugo4 ,,new ,,edition1 ,,carefully ,,revised ,,by ,,the ,,author4 ,,philadelphia3 ,j4 ,b4 ,,lippincott ,,co4 #ahfd4 ,entered1 according to ,act of ,congress1 in the year #ahfc1 by ,j4 ,b4 ,,lippincott ,,co41 in the ,clerk's ,office of the ,district ,court of the ,united ,states for the ,eastern ,district of ,pennsylvania4 ,,to ,,his ,,young ,,countrymen1 ,,this ,,unpretending ,,volume1 ,,is1 ,,with ,,affectionate ,,pride1 ,,inscribed ,,by ,,the ,,author4 ,,introduction4 ,i lang ha'e thought1 my youthful friends1 ,a something to have sent you1 ,tho' it may serve no other end ,than just a kind memento3 ,but how the subject-theme may gang ,let time and chance determine2 ,perhaps it may turn out a sang1 ,perhaps turn out a sermon4 ,,table ,,of ,,contents ,,letter ,i4 ,,dress4 ,,propriety of conforming to ,fashion1 with a due ,regard for individual ,peculiarities of ,appearance--,eccentricity of ,taste in ,dress--,obedience to the ,laws of ,convention--,the vagaries of ,genius1 in this respect--,absurdity and ,affectation originated by the ,example of ,byron--,all indifference and neglect to be avoided1 with regard to ,dress--,anecdote of ,dr4 ,johnson and the ,siddons--,porson1 the ,greek ,scholar--,horace ,greeley--,aphorism-- ,habits of a distinguished ,parisian savant--,example and opinion of ,washington with reference to ,dress--,partiality of ,americans for ,black1 as the color of dress-clothes--,practice of ,men in other ,countries1 in the selection of ,colors--,morning ,costume of an ,english ,gentleman--,every ,english ,gentleman usefully employed during a ,portion of each ,day--,dr4 ,johnson's ,test of good ,taste in ,dress--,the golden mean in ,matters of ,dress--,ceremonious ,costume of a ,gentleman--,mode of wearing the ,hair and ,beard-- ,necessity for artistic ,taste in one's ,barber--,all extremes of ,fashion in bad ,taste--,various ,absurdities in this respect1 inconsistent with the keeping of modern ,costume--,collars1 their size1 shape1 c4--,sleeve-buttons--,bad taste of wearing flash ,stones--,use of ,diamonds ,in ,dress--,simplicity in the ,appendages of ,dress1 the characteristic of true refinement-- ,signet-rings--,distinctive ,points of difference between the exterior of a ,gentleman and of a ,loafer--,all staring patterns in ,gentlemen's clothes exceptionable--,a white suit throughout1 for warm ,weather--,thin ,cravats--,body ,linen-- ,kotzebue's test of high-breeding--,strength and ,comfort the essential ,characteristics of working ,garments--,fitness and propriety even in matters of ,dress1 indicative of a well-regulated ,mind--,every ,american should aim to be a true ,gentleman--,importance of ,trifles1 when viewed in the aggregate--,influence of ,dress1 etc41 upon ,character and ,manner--,wearing ,gloves in ,dancing--,white ,gloves alone unexceptionable for ceremonious ,evening ,occasions--,gloves suitable for the ,street and ,morning ,visits--,bright-colored ,gloves in bad ton--,illustrative ,anecdote--,over-,garments-- ,variety sanctioned by ,fashion--,becomingness of different ,styles--,inconvenience and ill-appearance of ,shawls--,when ,suitable--,south ,american ,poncho--,anecdote--,new reading of ,lord ,nelson's celebrated ,naval ,orders--,difference between ,talking and ,writing1 the ,author's ,apology for numerous ,defects--,the ,mill-boy of the ,slashes--,the ,author unacquainted with the ,elegancies of modern ,fashionable ,nomenclature--,terms of agreement between the ,author and his ,correspondents1 #be ,,letter ,,ii4 ,,dress--7,continued47 ,,stories ,,and ,,anecdotes ,,illustrative ,,of ,,dress4 ,,the ,,hero ,,of ,,the ,,ball-,,room4--,the ,author's ,liking for ,mass ,meetings--,a ,fete--,louis ,philippe and the ,militia ,officer--,a real ,soldier conquered by the ,fair6--,the ,observed of all ,observers--,a ,morning ,visit--,dissection of the ,observed of all ,observers--,the ,hero of the ,ball-,room is consigned to the ,tomb of the ,capulets in a bright1 pea-green1 thin ,muslin ,shooting-,jacket6 #dc ,anecdote of ,bulwer1 the ,novelist1 #dh ,the ,green ,mountain ,boy and his ,new ,cloak1 #di ,count ,orloff at the ,peace ,convention1 #ej ,,the ,,fashionable ,,hat4--,a ,young ,clergyman resolves to ,visit the ,city--,his ,plans for ,economy--,a new ,black ,coat--,a ,secret ,design--,fashionable ,ridicule--,the ,young ,clergyman makes the mortifying ,discovery that he is wearing a ,shocking ,bad ,hat--,reluctantly determines to buy a ,new ,one--,a ,traveller in an ,old ,kossuth--,test of what is ,admissible in the ,dress of the ,clergy--,reflections of a ,sadder and a ,wiser ,man--,the ,uncle and his ,little ,nephew--,bradbrook's and the ,pretty ,coat--,another ,secret ,design--,the ,tyrant of ,social ,life1 #ej ,the ,chief ,justice--and the ,travelling ,gloves of an ,exquisite1 #ed ,,gov4 ,,marcy ,,and ,,the ,,parisians4--,the ,american ,secretary of ,legation at ,st4 ,cloud1 at a ,court ,dinner--,address of the ,turkish ,ambassador--,the ,distinctive ,mark of a ,gentleman1 #ef ,,the ,,red ,,cornelian ,,pate4--,sketch of an ,elegant leaning upon a ,bass-viol--,poetry of the ,female ,voice--,an ,alpine ,party--,a ,lady's ,avowal--,coxcombs--,a ,mysterious ,stranger--,my ,lundy-,lane ,sword--,a ,figure of ,speech appropriate to a ,sportsman's ,daughter--,the ,weed and the ,shawl--,an ,apple--,the ,tug of ,war--,the ,pitiable ,finger6 and the ,cranberry ,pate--,design of the ,mysterious ,stranger--,jack the ,giant-,killer and his ,victim--,a ,revelation--,the ,dove and the ,vulture1 #eh ,postscript to ,letter ,,ii4--,letter to the ,author from a ,distinguished ,man of ,fashion--,directions for the ,details of ,gentlemen's ,dress1 on various ,occasions--,wedding ,costume-- ,morning and ,evening--,evening ,dress--,dress for ,morning ,visits--,costume for ,bachelors' ,dinner-,parties--,general ,remarks upon ,colors1 etc4--,effect of ,black ,dress--,blue-- ,brown--,anecdote of ,beau ,brummel--,opinion of a ,french ,critic--,importance of the ,cut of ,garments--,ease the ,first ,essential--,an ,artistic ,air--,wadding1 or ,stuffing1 to be used in moderation--,sensible ,observations of a ,man of ,discriminating ,taste1 #fc ,,letter ,,iii ,,manner4 ,,aphorism of a ,celebrated ,observer of ,human ,nature--,manner indicative of ,character--,benefits of ,care and ,attention in ,youth--,the ,fashionable ,manner of the ,day--,danger of ,affectation in ,manner--,americans too often ,caricature their ,european ,models--,good ,sense and ,manly ,independence the best ,guides in the ,formation of ,manner--,true ,politeness--,elegant definition of ,politeness by a celebrated ,author--,good ,breeding inseparable from the ,character of a ,gentleman--,sir ,philip ,sidney1 a ,christian ,gentleman--,manner the proper expression of ,mental ,qualities--,the ,laws of ,convention--,their proper ,use and ,applicability--,conduct towards ,superiors in ,age and ,station one ,test of ,good ,breeding--,example of ,washington in this respect--,polished ,manners of the ,men of ,revolutionary ,days--,bad ,taste of ,slang ,language and ,disrespectful ,familiarity in speaking of ,superiors or ,parents--,reverence rendered to ,age by the ,ancients--,rudeness of ,young ,america in this respect--,the ,law of ,kindness a sure ,correction--,possibility of ,benefit to be derived from the consideration of those who have seen the ,world-- ,disadvantages of early ,neglect of ,manner--,improvement always possible1 at any age--,benefit of the early ,acquisition of ,habits of ,self-,control and ,self-,possession--,advantage of proper ,examples in this respect1 #gb ,,the ,,handsome ,,engineer4--,a ,railroad ,depot and a ,dilemma--,the ,field-,book and ,soiled ,boots--,the ,blessings of ,civilization-- ,an ,honest ,saxon ,word--,the ,charge--,the ,arrival--,a ,recognition --,a ,metamorphosis--,the ,economy of driving in ,dress-,boots-- ,a ,whisper--,the ,secret of the ,charm of ,manner1 #gi ,,an ,,after-,,dinner ,,coterie4--,the ,st4 ,nicholas ,hotel and ,santa ,claus--,a ,pleasant ,meeting--,a ,social ,re-,union--,the ,dramatis ,personae of the ,occasion--,a ,sketch--,willard's1 at ,washington--,the weary ,child--,the ,courteous ,strangers--,a ,grateful ,tribute--,charge against ,american ,ladies--,southern ,manner--,the ,stupid ,porter and the contre-temps--,an ,inference--,a ,scene in a ,country ,tavern--,a ,french-,woman and a ,yankee-,woman--,jonathan and the ,snuff-box--,a ,tooth-ache and a ,rocking-chair--,sympathy and ,vivacity--,the ,climax of ,impatience6 #hb ,a ,,polite ,,young ,,irelander1--,a ,fight--,an ,exclamation--,a ,fair ,vision1 #ia ,,letter ,,iv4 ,,manner--7,continued47 ,,practical ,,directions4--,senator ,sumner's appropriate ,sentence--,primary importance of ,manner at ,home--,a reiterated ,charge--,manner to ,parents--,unvarying confidence and reverence due to a ,father--,tenderness of ,manner to a ,mother--,example of ,washington--,a ,revolutionary ,ball--,nature the best ,teacher of ,duty--,too great familiarity1 even with ,relations1 objectionable --,manner to ,brothers and ,sisters--,no assumption of superiority justified by ,birthright1 or ,circumstances--,every ,man the ,guardian of his ,sisters--,a ,sister's ,love--,manner to a ,wife-- ,the preservation of her ,affection--,the ,spectator1 and a ,sketch of an ,old-,school ,husband--,impressive ,teaching--,a ,plea for ,old-,fashioned ,authors--,reverence for the ,lares should be inviolate--,the ,graces of ,manner always discerned by the ,gentler ,sex--,the ,sensibility of ,woman--,domestic ,politeness-- ,cheerful ,manner in conferring ,favors--,importance of ,trifles1 in this respect--,the true nobleness of ,manhood--,aphorism of the ,latinists--,manner to ,children--,their ,innocence and ,susceptibility--,the ,influence of ,example in this regard-- ,children judges of ,character--,power of the ,law of ,love over the ,young--,supremacy of ,moral ,obligation--,manner not to be regarded as insignificant by the ,christian ,gentleman--,manner to the ,unfortunate--,towards ,servants and ,inferiors--,arrogance to be avoided--,mode of addressing ,domestics--,queen ,elizabeth and her ,courtiers--,effect of a pleasant ,word and a pleasant ,tone--,peculiar sensitiveness of the ,uneducated ,in this respect --,the professional figure of an old ,soldier6--,manifestations of ,sympathy for ,inferiors in ,station--,readily instructed by a kind ,manner1 #ih ,,anecdotes ,,and ,,tales1 ,,illustrative ,,of ,,manner4 ,,emperors ,,not ,,always ,,well-,,bred4--,manner of ,napoleon le ,grand to ,women--,a ,family ,levee--,reply of the ,mother of ,bonaparte to her ,son--,napoleon's stringent enforcement of ,court ,rules--,the ,first ,consul and the ,lady's ,train--,josephine's timidity and her ,husband's brutality--,maria ,louise's ,bridal-,scene--,an almost sacrilegious ,misnomer1 #ajd ,a ,,father',s ,,rebuke4--,a ,steamer on the ,ohio--,the two ,friends-- ,cabin-,chit-chat--,youthful mirth reproved--,the effect of a ,scene--,the fortunate ,guest--,a ,family ,mansion and ,family ,group--,a ,study1 #aje ,the ,moral ,sublime3 ,an ,anecdote1 #aaj ,the ,sailor and his ,mother1 #aaa ,,the ,,brothers4--,early ,separation--,home ,meetings--,the pomposity of the ,alderman--,a ,family ,quarrel--,the respectful ,son--,the ,recording ,angel--,charley visits the ,city--,a ,morning ,call--,its ,result1 #aaa ,washington ,irving's ,sketch of an old ,english ,gentleman1 #aac ,the ,poet ,rogers and his ,man ,friday1 #aad ,,the ,,family ,,green-,,room1 ,,or ,,life ,,behind ,,the ,,scenes4--,an old ,soldier ,weather-bound--,a ,morning ,sortie--,an ,invitation-- ,youthful ,hospitality--,a ,nursery ,fixture--,the ,eldest ,son and ,hope of the ,house--,a playful ,salutation--,the ,land of ,promise--,an ,armful--,lunch--,an unexpected ,interposition--,an ,overland ,journey--,a ,catastrophe--,rubicon ,crossing--,the ,dolphin--,the baked ,apple--,a ,poor ,man--,the ,cup of ,cold ,water--,a ,stick for each--,spectacled ,reconnoitering--,cheerful ,words--,devotional ,scene--,scientific ,inquiry--,a ,capture--,escape by ,stratagem--,almost a ,martyr--,the old ,soldier re-visits the ,mess of his ,camp-ground--,a dangerous ,invader--,green-room ,asides--,a ,rehearsal--,college ,comforts--,a ,sketch by one of 'em--,a ,stage-,trick--,anecdote of ,john ,kemble1 the ,actor--,a ,disclaimer and a ,commentary--,exit of a ,star--,table-,talk1 #aae ,,letter ,v4 ,,manner ,,in ,,detail4 ,,manner ,,in ,,the ,,street--,upon ,meeting a ,friend or ,acquaintance-- ,proper ,mode of ,salutation--,drawing ,gloves--,stopping to ,talk--,tact and ,ease--,leaving a ,companion in the ,street-- ,manner to ,inferiors in the ,street--,rule1 when meeting a ,gentleman-,acquaintance walking with ,ladies whom you do not know--,when you are acquainted with both ,ladies and ,gentlemen whom you may meet--,shaking ,hands with ,ladies in the ,street at ,meeting or at ,parting--,courteous ,phrases--,parting ,ceremonies --,precedence in the ,street--,taking the ,arm of another ,man-- ,walking with ,ladies--,proper relative ,position--,opening ,doors1 etc4--,when meeting ,ladies--,upon being stopped by a ,lady-- ,manner to a ,stranger ,lady--,when you wish to ,speak with a ,lady in the ,street--,when wishing to join a ,lady in her ,promenade--,proper ,caution in this respect--,rule respecting the ,recognition of a ,lady--,an ,awkward ,third--,considerations due to ,ladies in case of ,street-,accidents--,courtesy to ,ladies who are alighting from a ,carriage--,custom of offering the ,arm to ,ladies in the ,street1 when ascending ,steps1 etc4 --,on entering ,church1 etc41 with ,ladies--,as one of a ,travelling-,party1 etc4--,gait in walking with elderly ,persons or ,ladies generally--,staring at ,ladies in ,public ,places-- ,manner to ,ladies entering an ,opera ,house1 at a ,pump-,room1 etc4--,audible ,comments upon ,strangers1 #abh ,,sketches ,,illustrative ,,of ,,manners4 ,,the ,,cut ,,portuguese4--,newspapers and ,coffee--,west ,point and a ,discussion--,a ,foreigner's ,revenge1 #ace ,the ,broken ,fan3 a ,lady's ,lament1 #acf ,the ,iron ,duke1 and ,youthful ,reminiscences1 #acg ,unexpected ,rencontre--,a ,stroll and a ,compliment--,a ,gentleman of the ,old ,school in the ,street--,a ,tribute--,a ,daughter's ,boast--,a ,wedding--,the ,bridal ,tour--,the ,rail-,car--,an ,intruder--,true ,politeness--,the ,glass of ,medical-water--,the ,denouement1 #acg ,,the ,,letter-,,box4--,an ,exciting ,exclamation--,a ,group for a ,painter--,a ,query--,entreaties--,an ,explanatory ,prelude--,the ,fruitless ,search--,the ,appeal--,a ,dialogue--,an ,admission-- ,musical ,sounds--,a ,prosy ,inquiry--,the ,summing up--,the ,damper --,the ,wish of a ,true ,woman--,an ,insinuation--,a ,description drawn from ,life--,a ,valuable ,portrait--,a ,tribute to ,american ,gentlemen--,an ,illustration--,stage ,politeness to a ,lady-- ,acted ,poetry3 the ,poetry of ,real ,life6 #ada ,,the ,,prisoner ,,of ,,the ,,colliseum4--,a ,moonlight ,walk--,a ,secret ,appeal--,the ,fair ,epicurean--,the ,recitation--,an ,apparition --,the ,lasso--,a ,witty ,reply--,the ,guerdon--,the ,clarion-note-- ,a ,brilliant--,horseback on the ,campagnia of ,rome--,the ,pope's ,cortege--,a ,recognition--,a ,denouement--,a ,confession and the ,retort ,courteous--,a ,sudden ,transformation--,the ,beautiful ,arm--,powers' ,studio--,the ,artist's ,discovery--,an ,intimation1 #adi ,,letter ,,vi4 ,,manner--7,continued47 ,,rules ,,to ,,be ,,observed ,,in ,,making ,,morning ,,visits1 ,,and ,,in ,,society ,,generally4 ,aversion to ,ceremonious ,morning ,visits--,proper ,hours--,suitable ,brevity--,character of ,conversation--,card of ,announcement-- ,visits made at ,hotels--,precautionary ,rules--,mode of entering a ,drawing-,room--,drawing-,room ,rules--,when ,meeting other ,visitors--,when interrupted--,when wishing to leave a ,message or make an ,appointment1 etc4--,proper ,courtesy when ,visitors are taking ,leave--,short ,visits of mere ,ceremony--,attendance upon ,ladies making ,morning ,visits--,attentions ,suitable-- ,introducing--,ladies to take precedence in rising to go away --,gentlemen calling together--,dress1 etc41--,when awaiting ,ladies in a ,public ,parlor--,standing when ,ladies are ,standing --,offering the ,arm--,suitable ,gait--,minutia of ,politeness-- ,morning ,wedding-,receptions--,whom you should ,congratulate-- ,general ,directions--,tact and ,good ,taste--,leaving ,cards--,visits on ,new-,year's ,day--,ceremonious ,intercourse with ,superiors-- ,manner at ,church--,mrs4 ,chapone's ,rule--,self-possession one of the ,distinctive ,characteristics of ,good-,breeding--,whispering1 ,laughing1 ,staring1 etc41 to be avoided--,retaining the ,hat not admissible--,salutations at ,church--,attending ,ladies at ,concerts1 ,lectures1 ,opera1 etc4 etc4--,propriety of ,retaining the ,seat you take on ,entering--,incommoding ,others--,courtesy due to ,those near you--,manner of well-bred ,persons in a ,picture ,gallery1 etc41--,reverence due to the ,beautiful and the ,good--,partaking of ,refreshments in ,public ,places-- ,discourtesy of any ,semblance of ,intrusiveness--,etiquette in ,joining a ,party--,politeness not to be laid aside in ,business-intercourse--,elaborate ceremony unsuitable1 at times--,the ,secret of ,popularity--,manner at a ,public ,table-- ,courtesy to ,others--,self-importance a ,proof of ,vulgarity-- ,fast ,feeding--,pardonable ,luxuriousness--,staring--,listening to ,private ,conversations--,rudeness of ,loud ,talking and ,laughing1 ,shrugs1 ,glances1 or ,whispers--,courtesy due to a ,lady entering a ,dining-,room--,to ,older ,persons--,meeting or passing ,ladies in ,public ,houses--,influence of ,trifles in the ,formation of ,character--,frequent ,discourtesy in ignoring the ,presence of ,ladies in ,public ,parlors1 etc4 etc4--,politeness due to ,women1 in ,practical ,emergencies--,nocturnal ,peccadilloes--,travelling--,true ,rules--,courtesy to ,ladies1 to ,age1 to the ,suffering--,indecorum of using ,tobacco1 etc4 etc41 in ,public ,conveyances--,ceremony a ,shield1 but not an ,excuse--,a ,challenge ,extraordinary--,anecdote of ,p----1 the ,poet--,practice and ,tact essential to secure ,polish of ,manner--,life-long ,stumbling--,practical ,rules1 the result of ,annoying ,experience--,carriage ,hire--,driving with ,ladies1 etc41--,manner in ,social ,intercourse--,as ,host--,etiquette of ,dinners at ,home--,precedence--,distinguished ,guests--,a ,lady--,a ,gentleman--,reception and ,introduction of ,guests--,true ,hospitality as ,host1 better than mere ,ceremony--,manner towards those unacquainted with ,conventional ,rules--,manner at ,routs1 at ,home--,attention to ,guests compatible with good ton--,anecdote--,respect to be rendered to all one's ,acquaintances in ,general ,society--,to ,married ,ladies--,to ,strangers--,the ,distinction thus ,exhibited between the ,under-bred and the genuine ,man of the ,world--,no one entitled to ,self-,excuses in this ,regard1 #aeg ,,anecdotes1 ,,sketches1 ,,etc4 ,a ,,prophesy4--,table-,talk--,a ,rescue and a ,lady's ,gratitude --,jealousy ,disarmed--,backwoodsmen--,cordiality--, costume and ,courtesy--,retort ,courteous--,an ,interpolation and a ,protest --,mr4 ,clay's ,popularity with the ,fair--,secret of his ,success in ,society--,mr4 ,clay and the ,belle ,esprit--,a ,definition of ,politeness--,a ,comical ,illustration--,a ,pun--,a well-turned ,compliment--,unconsciousness of ,self--,a ,stranger's ,impressions --,a ,poetic ,tribute1 #agi ,,the ,,devotee ,,of ,,the ,,beautiful4--,a ,morning ,drive--,anticipation --,spiritual ,enjoyment--,discord--,a ,disappointment1 #ahd ,,the ,,soldier',s ,,wife ,,and ,,the ,,ghoul4--,a ,journey--,the truly ,brave --,the ,arrival--,a ,chapter of ,accidents--,self-,reproach--,the ,ghoul--,the ,calmness of ,despair--,the ,versatility of ,woman-- ,but a ,step from the ,sublime to the ,ridiculous--,the ,ghoul again--,a ,defiant ,spirit--,punctilious ,ceremony1 #ahf ,a ,,fair ,,champion4--,a ,query and its ,solution--,a ,sketch--,raillery --,a ,tete-a-,tete--,an ,interruption--,fashionable ,hospitality-- ,genuine ,hospitality--,a ,mother's ,advice--,an indignant ,spirit-- ,rebellion1 #aic ,,the ,,man ,,of ,,one ,,idea4--,an ,object for ,worship--,a ,soiree--,a ,polite ,colloquy--,the ,host at ,ease--,a pleasing ,hostess--,the ,climax1 #aih ,young ,america--an ,anecdote1 #bjj ,,the ,,practical ,,philosopher4--,a handsome ,aristocrat--,an ,accusation--,a ,courteous ,neighbor--,fall of a ,fixed ,star --,favorite ,aphorism of ,mrs4 ,combe--,the ,daughter of the ,siddons1 #bja ,,letter ,,vii4 ,,health4 ,,the ,,toilet1 ,,as ,,connected ,,with ,,health4 ,the ,true ,basis of ,health--,temperance an inclusive ,term --,foundation of the ,eminence of ,j4 ,q4 ,adams--,his ,life a ,model for the ,young--,his early ,habits--,vigorous ,old ,age-- ,example of ,franklin in regard to ,temperance--,illustrations afforded by our ,national ,history--,the ,bath--,varying ,opinions and ,constitutions--,imprudent use of the ,bath--,bishop ,heber-- ,general ,directions--,the ,art of ,swimming--,sponging-- ,deficiencies of the ,toilet in ,england--,collateral ,benefits arising from habitual ,sponge-bathing--,the ,hair--,all ,fantastic ,dressing of the ,hair in bad taste--,use of ,pomades--,vulgarity of using ,strong ,perfumes--,the ,teeth--,use of ,tobacco--,smoke ,dispellers--,the ,nails--,the ,feet--,a complete ,wardrobe essential to ,health--,early ,rising--,its manifold ,advantages--,example of ,washington1 ,franklin1 etc41 in this respect--,daniel ,webster's ,eulogy upon ,morning--,retiring early--,truth of a ,medical ,dogma --,opposition of ,fashion and ,health--,early ,hours essential to the ,student--,importance of the early ,acquisition of ,correct ,habits in this ,regard--,illustration--,a combination of ,right ,habits essential to ,health--,exercise--,walking--,pure ,air--,the ,lungs of a ,city--,superiority of ,morning ,air--,an ,erect ,carriage of the ,body in ,walking--,periodical ,exercise--,necessary ,caution --,the ,unwise ,student--,a ,warning--,a ,knowledge of ,dietetics and ,physiology requisite to the ,preservation of ,health--,suitable ,works on these ,subjects--,riding and ,driving the ,accomplishments of a ,gentleman--,a ,horse a desirable ,possession--,testimony of ,dr4 ,johnson--,the ,pride of ,skill--,needful ,caution--,judicious ,selection of ,locale for these ,modes of ,exercise--,dr4 ,beatie's ,tribute to ,nature--,importance of ,temperance in ,eating and ,drinking1 as regards ,health--,the ,cultivation of ,simple ,tastes in ,eating--,proper ,preparation of ,food ,important to ,health-- ,re-action of the ,human ,constitution--,effect of ,bodily ,health upon the ,mind--,the pernicious ,use of ,condiments1 etc41 etc4 --,,young ,,ambition',s ,,ladder4--,hours for ,meals--,dining ,late-- ,injurious ,effects of ,prolonged ,abstinence--,the ,stimulus of ,distension--,repletion--,necessity of deliberate and thorough ,mastication--,judicious ,use of ,time in ,eating--,the ,use of ,wine1 ,tobacco1 etc4--,the truly ,free6--,dr4 ,johnson's ,opinion--,novel ,argument against the ,habits of ,smoking and ,drinking--,advice of ,sir ,walter ,raleigh to the ,young--,then and ,now--,council of a ,looker-on in this ,utilitarian ,age--,erroneous ,impressions --,authority of a celebrated ,writer--,social ,duties--,the unbent ,bow--,rational ,enjoyment the wisest ,obedience to the ,natural ,laws--,a determined ,pursuit in ,life essential to ,happiness and ,health--,too entire ,devotion to a ,single ,object of ,pursuit1 unwise--,arcadian ,dreams--,attainable ,realities--,truisms--,decay of the ,social and ,domestic ,virtues--,human ,sacrifices-- ,relaxations and ,amusements requisite to ,health--,superiority of ,amusements in the ,open ,air for ,students and ,sedentary ,persons generally--,benefits of ,cheerful ,companionship-- ,objection to ,games1 etc41 that require ,mental ,exertion-- ,converse ,rule--,fashionable ,watering-places ill adapted to ,health--,avocations of the ,farmer1 ,tastes as a ,naturalist1 ,travel1 ,sporting1 etc41 recommended--,depraved ,public ,taste --,slavery to ,fashion--,habits of ,europeans1 in this respect1 superior to our own--,modern ,degeneracy--,folly thralled by ,pride1 #bjc ,,illustrative ,,sketches ,,and ,,anecdotes4 ,,to ,,give ,,eternity ,,to ,,time4--,the ,senate-,chamber and the ,dying ,statesman--,the ,moral ,sublime1 #bbe ,,jonathan',s ,,sins ,,and ,a ,,foreigner',s ,,peccadillo4--,celebrities --,dinner-table ,sallies--,grave ,charges--,yankee ,rejection of ,cold ,meats--,self-,preservation the ,first ,law of ,nature6-- ,a ,mystery ,solved--,national ,impartiality--,anecdote--,storming a ,fort--,successful ,defence1 by a ,lady1 of herself6--,a ,stratagem--,the ,daughter of a ,gun--,an ,explanation--,the ,tortures of ,outraged ,modesty1 #bbf ,dr4 ,abernethy and his ,yankee ,patient1 #bcb ,,cosmopolitan ,,chit-,,chat4--,a ,heterogeneous ,party--,the ,golden ,horn--,contemplations in a ,turkish ,caique--,a ,discussion-- ,christian ,dogs and the ,dogs of ,constantinople--,an unpleasant ,discovery--,a ,magical ,touch--,the ,song of the ,caidjis--,a ,national ,example1 #bcb ,,the ,,imperturbable ,,guest4--,a ,dinner-,table ,scene1 #bch ,the ,youth and the ,philosopher3 ,lines by ,whitehead1 #bci ,,letter ,,viii4 ,,letter-,,writing4 ,importance of this ,branch of ,education--,its ,frequent ,neglect --,usual ,faults of the ,epistolary ,style--,applicability of the rule of the ,lightning-,tamer--,variety of ,styles appropriate to varying ,subjects and ,occasions--,impossibility of laying down all-inclusive ,general ,rules--,requisites of ,letters of ,business--,legibility in ,caligraphy--,affectation in this respect--,avoidance of ,servile ,imitation--,advantage of possessing a good ,business-hand--,time-saving ,importance of ,rapidity--,letters of ,introduction--,form ,suitable for ,ordinary ,purposes--,specimen of ,letters ,introducing a ,person in ,search of a ,business ,situation1 ,place of ,residence1 etc41 etc4-- ,introduction of ,artists1 ,professional ,men1 etc4--,presenting a ,celebrity by ,letter--,proper ,attention to ,titles1 ,modes of abbreviating ,titles1 etc41 etc4--,letters of ,introduction to be unsealed--,manner of ,delivering ,letters of ,introduction-- ,cards1 ,envelopes1 ,written ,messages1 etc41 proper on such ,occasions--,appointments and due ,courtesy1 etc4--,form of ,letter to a ,lady of ,fashion--,etiquette in regard to ,addresses --,letters ,presenting ,foreigners--,personal ,introductions-- ,common ,neglect of ,etiquette in this respect--,proper ,mode of ,introducing ,young ,persons1 or those of inferior social position--,of ,introducing ,men to ,women1 very ,young ,ladies1 etc4--,voice and ,manner on such ,occasions--,explanations due to ,strangers--,common ,social ,improprieties--,american ,peculiarity --,hotel ,registers1 etc4--,courtesy due to ,relations as well as to ,strangers--,impropriety of indiscriminate ,introductions-- ,preliminary ,ceremonies among ,men--,in the ,street--,at ,dinners --,evening-,parties--,receptions--,conve ntional ,rules subject to ,changes1 dictated by good-sense--,supremacy of the ,law of ,kindness--,visiting ,cards--,european ,fashion of ,cards--,style usual in ,america--,place of ,residence--,phrases for ,cards --,business ,cards3 ,ornaments1 ,devices1 ,color1 ,size1 ,legibility1 etc4--,letters of ,recommendation--,moral ,characteristic--,proper ,style of ,letters of ,condolence-- ,form of ,letters of ,congratulation--,admissibility of ,brevity --,letters to ,superiors--,ceremonious ,form for such ,communications--,proper ,mode of ,addressing ,entire ,strangers --,common ,error in this respect--,punch's ,sarcasm--,diplomats and ,public ,functionaries should be ,models in ,letter-writing --,an ,enigma--,diplomatic ,letters--,letters of ,friendship and ,affection--,general ,requisites of ,epistolary ,composition-- ,letters a ,means of conferring and ,receiving ,pleasure-- ,distinctive ,characteristic of the ,epistolary ,style-- ,peccadilloes--,aids facilitating the ,practice in this ,accomplishment--,notes of ,invitation1 ,acceptance1 ,regret --,observance of ,usage--,simplicity the best ton and taste --,etiquette with regard to ,invitations to ,dinner--,courtesy in ,matters of ,social ,life--,error of an ,american ,author-- ,ceremony properly preceding taking an uninvited ,friend to a ,party--,abstract good-breeding the best ,test of ,propriety --,proper form of ,ceremonious ,notes of ,invitation--,use of the ,third ,person in writing ,notes--,mailed ,letters--,local ,addresses1 ,form of ,signature1 etc41 etc4--,requisites of ,letter-,superscription--,writing-,mater ials--,small ,sheets1 ,margins1 etc4--,colored ,paper1 ,fanciful ,ornaments1 ,initials1 c4--,envelopes and ,superscription--,wax1 ,seals1 etc4--,european ,letters--,rule--,promptitude in ,letter-writing--,study of ,published ,models beneficial to the ,young--,scott1 ,byron1 ,moore1 ,horace ,walpole1 ,washington--,sir ,w4 ,w4 ,pepys1 etc4 --,curiosities of the ,epistolary ,style--,anticipated ,pleasure1 #bda ,,illustrations4 ,,the ,,warning--,a ,,sketch ,,of ,,nile-,,travel4--,a ,group and a ,dialogue amid the ,ruins of ,thebes--,mustapha ,aga and the ,temple of ,karnac--,the ,arrival--,the ,distribution--,delights1 ,disappointments1 and ,despair1 #bfh ,anecdote of the ,mighty ,wizard of the ,north1 #bgc ,a ,,drawing-,,room ,,coterie ,,of ,,criticism4--,the ,library and the ,intruder--,paternal ,authority--,condemnation--,comments and ,criticisms--,a ,compliment--,a fair ,bevy--,wit and ,wisdom-- ,sport and ,seriousness--,a ,model ,note and a ,fair ,eulogist-- ,paternal ,approbation--,what ,american ,merchants should be --,an ,anecdote--,discoveries and ,accessions--,apropos--,fair ,play and a ,ruse--,a ,group of ,critics--,an ,invitation--,a ,rival--,an ,explanation and an ,admission--,a ,rescue and ,retreat --,an ,old ,man's ,privilege--,seventeen and ,eighty-two--,may and ,december1 #bgc ,the ,first ,billet-,doux1 #bhd ,,letter ,,ix4 ,,accomplishments4 ,comparative ,importance of ,accomplishments--,difference between ,europeans and ,americans in this regard--,self-,education the most ,useful--,peculiar ,incentives to ,self-,culture possessed by ,americans--,cultivation of a ,taste for the ,ideal ,arts-- ,desirableness of a ,knowledge of ,drawing--,incidental ,benefit resulting from the ,practice of this ,art--,a ,taste for ,music-- ,mistaken ,conceptions of the ,importance of this ,accomplishment --,advantage of learning ,dancing--,desirableness of ,riding and ,driving--,various ,athletic ,exercises--,a ready and graceful ,elocution of great ,importance--,a ,source of ,social ,enjoyment --,the ,art of ,conversation--,use of ,slang ,phrases--,disadvantages of ,occasional ,lenity towards the ,corruptions of ,language-- ,the only ,safe ,rule--,common want of ,conversational ,power-- ,the ,superiority of the ,french over all other ,people in this ,respect--,the ,salons of ,paris--,pleasures of the ,canaille-- ,french ,children--,practice essential to ,success--,the ,embellishments of ,conversation--,habits of a ,celebrated ,talker --,anecdote of ,sheridan--,some ,preparation not ,unsuitable before going into ,society--,qualities most essential to secure ,popularity in ,general ,society--,the ,guilt of giving ,pain--,avoidance of ,personalities--,the ,language of ,compliment--,two ,good ,rules--,reprehensibleness of the ,habit of indulging in ,gossip1 ,scandal1 or ,puerile ,conversation--,the ,records of ,heaven's ,high ,chancery--,importance of ,exact ,truthfulness in ,conversation--,the ,capacity of adapting ,language to ,occasions of ,importance--,use of ,foreign ,phrases or ,words--,tact and ,good-,breeding the ,safest ,guides in such ,matters--,advantage of the ,companionship of ,cultivated ,persons1 in ,promoting ,conversational ,skill--,misuse of ,strong ,language--,conversational ,courtesies--,aphorism by ,mr4 ,madison--,modesty ,proper to the ,young in this ,respect--,bad taste of talking of one's self in ,society--,the ,world an ,unsuitable ,confidant--,quotation from ,carlyle--,sympathy with ,others--,the softer graces of ,social ,intercourse--,cheerfulness universally ,agreeable--,a ,glee in which ,everybody can join --,anecdote--,human ,sunbeams--,judicious selection of ,conversational ,topics--,avoidance of ,assumption and ,dictatorialness--,proper ,regard for the ,right of ,opinion --,courtesy due to ,ladies and ,clergymen--,folly of ,promulgating ,peculiarities of ,religious ,opinion--,rudeness of manifesting ,undue ,curiosity respecting the ,affairs of ,others--,boasting of ,friends--,anecdote--,quickness at ,repartee1 one of the ,colloquial ,graces--,dean ,swift and his fellow-- ,anecdote of the ,elder ,adams--,a ,ready and ,graceful ,reply to a ,compliment not to be ,disregarded among the ,elegancies of ,conversation--,the ,retort ,courteous--,lady ,hamilton and ,lord ,nelson--,specimens of ,polite ,phraseology--,general ,conversation with ,ladies--,essential ,characteristics of ,light ,conversation--,improprieties and ,familiarities-- ,disagreeable ,peculiarities--,a ,dismal ,character--,anecdote of ,cuvier--,tact in ,avoiding ,personal ,allusions--,peculiarity of ,american ,society--,ages of the ,loves and ,graces--,a ,young ,jonathan and an ,english ,girl--,violation of ,confidence-- ,sacredness of ,private ,conversations--,politeness of a ,ready ,compliance with the ,wishes of ,others in ,society1 #bhf ,,illustrative ,,anecdotes ,,and ,,sketches4 ,,sang ,,froid ,,and ,,sandwiches4--,a ,ride with a ,duke--,the eager young ,sportsman--,a ,rencontre--,a ,query and a ,response--,a substantial ,bonne ,bouche1 #cab ,a ,frenchman's ,relaxation1 #cad ,polemics and ,politeness--,watering-place ,society--,omnibus ,orations--,sulphur-water and ,sacrifices--,religionists1 ,ladies and ,license1 ,reaction and ,remorse1 #cae ,an unexpected ,declaration--,parisian furore--,the unknown ,patient--,practice and ,pathos1 #cag ,the ,three ,graces--,honor to whom ,honor was ,due--,a ,group for a ,sculptor--,woman's ,wit1 #cah ,scene in a ,drawing-room1 #cbj ,musical ,mania--,guitar playing and the play of ,intellect1 #cba ,a ,fair ,discussion1 #cbc ,national ,dialect--,a ,bagatelle1 #cbd ,a ,murillo and a ,living ,study--,a ,morning in the ,louvre with a congenial ,friend--,a ,painter's ,advice--,true ,epicureanism1 #cbf ,ready ,elocution and ,ready ,wit--,a ,congressional ,sketch1 #cbg ,,letter ,x4 ,,habit4 ,,habit always ,indicative of ,character--,its ,importance not properly estimated by the ,young--,rudeness and ,republicanism too often ,synonymous--,fashion not always ,good-breeding-- ,social ,american ,peculiarities--,manners of ,americans abroad --,rowdyism at the ,tuileries--,the ,propriety of ,learning from ,older ,nations the lighter ,elegancies of ,life--,madame ,soule and the ,queen of ,spain--,the tie of a ,cravat and the ,affairs of ,change--,george ,peabody a ,model ,american--,the distinctive name of ,gentleman--,great ,importance of ,suitable ,associates-- ,spanish ,proverb--,the true ,social ,standard--,safeguard against ,eccentricity--,habits of ,walking1 ,standing1 ,sitting-- ,directions--,aaron ,burr and ,de ,witt ,clinton--,bachelor ,privileges--,decorum in the presence of ,ladies--,carrying the ,hat1 ease of ,attitude1 etc4--,benefits of habitual ,self-,restraint--,habits at ,table--,eating with a ,knife--,soiling the ,lips1 ,picking the ,teeth1 etc41 etc4--,nicety ,in ,matters of ,detail--,courtesy due to others--,manner to ,servants in ,attendance at ,table--,avoidance of ,sensuousness of ,manner-- ,french ,mode of ,serving ,dinners--,the ,art of ,carving--,helping ,ladies at ,table--,rule in ,carving ,joints of ,meat--,changing the ,plate--,proper ,mode of ,taking ,fish--,game--,butter at ,dinner-- ,english ,custom--,details of ,habit at ,table--,rights of ,freemen-- ,a ,just ,distinction--,unhealthfulness of drinking too much at ,dinner--,fast ,eating of ,fast ,americans--,sitting upon two ,legs of a ,chair--,anecdote--,habits of using the ,handkerchief--,toying with the ,moustache1 etc41 etc4--,ladies careful ,observers of ,minutiae--,belief of the ,ancient ,gauls respecting ,women--,habits of ,swaggering in ,public ,places--,general ,suggestions--,ladies and ,invalids in ,terror of a ,human ,war-,horse--,courtesy due while playing ,chess and other ,games--,self-control in ,sickness --,premature adoption of ,eye-,glasses--,affectation in this respect--,proper ,attitude while ,reading or ,studying--,habits of ,early ,rising--,a ,poetic ,superstition unwarranted by ,health and ,truth--,variance between ,health and ,fashion in regard to ,early ,hours--,aphorism by ,gibbon--,habit of taking ,nostrums-- ,avoidance of ,quacks--,habit of acting as the ,protectors of the ,dependent ,sex--,effect of ,trifling ,habits upon the ,opinions formed of us by ,women--,habits of handling ,prints1 ,bijouterie1 and ,boquets1 of ,smoking1 ,whispering and ,ogling1 to be shunned--,importance of ,methodical ,habits of ,reading and ,studying--,value of the ,gold ,dust of ,time--,anecdote-- ,true ,rule for ,reading to ,advantage--,habit of ,reading aloud --,great ,importance of a ,habit of ,industry--,the ,superiors of mere ,genius--,habits of ,cheerfulness and ,contentment not to be overlooked by the ,young--,cultivation of ,habitual ,self-,respect--,pride and ,poverty not ,necessarily ,antagonistic --,self-,respect a ,shield against the ,shafts of ,calumny--,true ,honor not affected by ,occupation or ,position--,benefits of a ,habit of ,self-,examination--,the habitual ,study of the ,scriptures recommended--,,christ1 the ,great ,model of ,humanity --,ungentlemanly ,habit of being late at ,church1 etc4-- ,pernicious ,effects of prevalent ,materialism--,personal ,enjoyment resulting from habitually idealizing all ,mental ,associations with ,women--,defencelessness an ,impassable ,barrier to ,oppression from true ,manhood--,impropriety of speaking loudly to ,ladies in public ,places1 of attracting ,attention to them1 their ,names and ,prerogatives--,safe ,rule in this regard--,the ,habit of ,sympathy with ,human ,suffering a ,christian duty--,mistaken ,opinion of ,young ,men in this respect--,the ,examples presented by the ,lives of the ,greatly ,good--,mighty ,achievements in the ,cause of ,humanity in the ,power of a ,few--,habits of ,good-,humor1 ,neatness1 ,order and ,regularity due to others--,fastidious ,nicety in ,matters of the ,toilet1 demanded by proper respect for our daily ,associates --,the ,importance of ,habits of ,exercise1 ,temperance and ,relaxation--,economy to be ,cultivated as a ,habit--,economy not ,degrading--,habit of ,punctuality--,slavery to mere ,system condemned--,remark of ,sir ,joshua ,reynolds--,habit of ,perseverance--,value of the ,habit of putting ,ideas into ,words--,of ,habits of ,reflection and ,observation--,of rendering ,respect to ,age1 etc4--,culture of ,esthetical ,perceptions-- ,american ,peculiarity--,curiosity not tolerated among the well-bred--,the inestimable value of ,self-,possession--,its ,natural ,manifestations--,concluding ,advice1 #cbi ,,illustrations4 ,,jonathan ,,and ,,queen ,,victoria4--,a ,stroll through the ,world's ,palace--,a ,royal ,party--,the ,yankee ,enthroned--,a ,confession1 #cfb ,,damon ,,and ,,pythias ,,modernized4--,a ,family ,council--,a ,celebrity and a ,hotel ,dinner--,a ,discovery--,a ,sketch--,telegraphing and ,triumph--,beer and a ,break-down--,drawing-room ,chit-chat--,a ,young ,lady's ,eulogy--,retort ,courteous--,a ,new ,acquaintance-- ,an ,explanation--,dinner the ,second--,sense and ,sensibility--,a ,ruse--,a ,request and ,appointment--,a ,contrast--,catastrophy--,a ,note and a ,disappointment--,fair ,frankness--,an ,unexpected ,rencontre--,the ,re-union--,pictures and ,pleasantries--,the ,protector of the ,helpless1 #cfc ,a ,,visit ,,to ,,abbotsford4--,sir ,walter ,scott as ,colonel of ,dragoons1 ,sheriff of the ,county1 ,host1 ,friend1 and ,author --,mrs4 ,hemans and ,little ,charley--,courteous ,hospitality --,at ,driburg with ,mr4 ,lockhart--,solution of a ,mystery-- ,sir ,walter's favorite ,lieutenant1 #chb ,confession of a ,celebrated ,orator1 #che ,,the ,,lemon ,,and ,,the ,,carnation4--,a ,stage-,coach ,adventure--,a fair ,passenger--,churlishness and ,cheerfulness--,a ,comic ,duet--,stage-,sickness--,an impromptu ,physician--,offerings --,acknowledgments--,a ,docile ,patient--,welcome ,home--,arrival --,a ,family ,group--,a ,discovery--,recognition--,an ,invitation --,hospitality--,sunday ,evening at the ,rectory--,the ,honorable ,occupation of ,teaching ,young ,ladies--,a ,prophesy--,family ,jars --,a ,compliment1 #chf ,a ,notability and his ,newfoundland ,dog1 #djj ,,extremes ,,meet4--,european ,travelling-,companion--,a cool ,place and a cool ,character--,a ,foreigner's ,criticism-- ,fair ,commentators--,dinner-table ,sketch--,three ,parties in a ,rail-,car--,sunshine and ,showers--,an ,earth-,angel--,anecdote of ,thorwalsden1 the ,danish ,sculptor--,a ,scene--,gentlemanly ,inquiries--,paddy's ,explanation1 #dja ,,have ,,you ,,been ,,impatient8--,a ,broken ,engagement--,about a ,horse --,charley's ,orphan ,cousin--,ideas of ,luxury--,novel ,experiences --,the freed ,bird--,bless ,god for ,flowers and ,friends6--,a ,recoil--,a ,tirade--,the ,bird ,re-caged--,self-,examination-- ,retrospection and ,resolution--,a ,note and a ,boquet--,a ,blush ,transfixed1 #dab ,,letter ,,xi4 ,,mental ,,and ,,moral ,,education4 ,the ,author's ,conscious ,incapacity--,education within the ,power of ,all--,americans not ,socially ,trammelled--,the ,two ,attributes of ,mind essential to ,self-,culture--,prospective ,discernment-- ,the most enlightened ,system of ,education--,duty of ,cultivating the ,moral as well as the ,intellectual ,nature--,the ,acquisition of ,wealth not to be regarded as the highest ,human ,attainment --,definition of ,self-,culture--,reading for ,amusement only1 ,unwise--,aids and ,appliances of ,judicious ,reading--,example of a ,great ,man--,fictitious ,literature--,pernicious ,effects often resulting from a ,taste for ,light ,reading--,condemnation of ,licentious ,novels--,advantages of ,noting ,choice ,passages in ,reading--,carlyle's ,criticism of ,public ,men--,the ,study of ,history of ,great ,importance--,benefits resulting from the ,perusal of well-selected ,biographies--,enumeration of celebrated ,works of this ,character--,newspaper and ,magazine ,reading--,a ,cultivated ,taste in ,literature and ,art the result of thorough ,mental ,training--,affectation and ,pretention in this regard to be avoided--,critical ,assumption condemned-- ,impressions produced upon observing ,judges by a ,pretentious ,manner--,the ,world's ,dread ,laugh--,advantages of ,foreign ,travel--,misuse of this ,advantage--,knowledge of ,modern ,languages essential to a complete ,education--,false ,impression prevalent on this point--,philosophic ,wisdom--,wise ,covetousness --,tact the ,result of ,general ,self-,culture--,an ,individual ,moral ,code of advantage--,example of ,washington--,education not completed by a ,knowledge of ,books--,definition of ,true ,education--,the ,development of the ,moral ,perceptions promotive of ,intellectual ,advancement--,undue ,exaltation of ,talent over ,virtue--,religious ,faith the legitimate ,result of rightly-directed ,education--,needful ,enlightenment of ,conscience--,the ,life of ,jesus ,christ the best ,moral ,guide-,book--,charity to the ,faults of others the ,result of ,self-,knowledge--,the ,golden ,rule of the ,great ,teacher--,the highest ,aim of ,humanity--,reverence for the ,spiritual ,nature of ,man the ,result of ,self-,culture--,danger of ,self-,indulgence in regard to trifling ,errors--,caution against the ,infidel ,philosophy of the ,times--,the establishment of ,fixed ,principles of ,action--,the ,true ,mode of computing ,life1 #dch ,the ,attainment of ,knowledge under ,difficulties--,necessity the ,nurse of ,true ,greatness--,the ,learned ,blacksmith--,the ,wagoner --,the ,mill-,boy of the ,slashes--,franklin and ,webster1 #dci ,a ,peep at ,passers-by1 from the ,loopholes of ,retreat1 #ddj ,the ,force of ,genius--,a ,man about ,town--,anecdote--,manly ,indignation1 #dda ,old-,fashioned ,honor1 #ddb ,webster on ,biblical ,studies1 #ddc ,the ,young ,frenchman and the ,pyramids1 #ddc ,,peccadilloes ,,and ,,punctiliousness4--,extract--,sir ,humphrey ,davy--,tribute to ,religion1 #ddf ,,letter ,,xii4 ,,choice ,,of ,,companions ,,and ,,friends4--,,selection ,,of ,a ,,pursuit ,,in ,,life4--,,courtship4--,,marriage4--,,ho usekeeping4--,,pecuniary ,,matters4 ,,rule to be observed in the ,selection of ,associates--,advantage of the ,companionship of ,persons of more ,experience than ,ourselves--,false ,sentiments entertained by ,lord ,byron regarding ,friendship--,self-,consciousness affords the best ,contradiction to these ,erroneous ,opinions--,value of ,friendship--,importance of the ,judicious ,selection of ,confidants--,folly of demanding ,perfection in one's ,friends --,selection of ,employment--,the first ,consideration in this ,relation--,thorough ,education should not be confined to ,candidates for the ,learned ,professions--,the ,merchant ,princes of ,america--,avenues for ,effort--,all ,honest ,occupations dignified by ,right ,conduct--,the ,pursuit of ,wealth as an ,end--,freedom the ,prerogative of the ,worker--,a ,professional ,manner ,condemned--,individual ,insignificance--,advantages of ,early ,marriage--,cause of prevalent ,domestic ,unhappiness--,each ,individual the best ,judge of his own ,conjugal ,requisites-- ,health1 ,good-,temper1 and ,education essential in a ,wife-- ,accomplishments not essential to ,domestic ,happiness-- ,disadvantages resulting from a previous ,fashionable ,career --,a ,true ,wife--,respect due to the proper ,guardians of a ,lady by her ,suitor--,advantages of a ,friendship with a ,married ,lady --,reserve and ,respect of ,manner due to ,female ,friends--,manly ,frankness as a ,suitor the only ,honorable ,course--,attachment to one ,woman no ,excuse for ,rudeness to others--,the ,art of ,pleasing--,presents1 ,complimentary ,attentions1 etc4--,nicety of ,perception usual in ,women--,power of the ,law of ,kindness in ,home-,life--,the ,slightest ,approach to ,family ,dissension to be carefully avoided--,the ,duty of a ,husband to exert a ,right ,influence over his ,wife--,union of ,spirit the only ,satisfying ,bond--,more than ,roman ,sternness assumed by some--,sacredness of all the ,better ,emotions of the ,human ,heart--,expressive ,synonymes--,pecuniary ,matters--,the ,pernicious ,effects of ,boarding--,an ,old ,man's ,advice--,household ,gods--,propriety of ,providing for ,future ,contingencies--,slavery ,imposed by ,pride and ,poverty--,comfort and ,refinement compatible with ,moderate ,resources--,books and ,works of ,art to be preferred to ,fine ,furniture--,importance of ,cherishing the ,esthetical ,tastes of ,children--,keeping a great ,desideratum in ,social and ,domestic ,life1 #ddg ,,illustrative ,,sketches1 ,,etc4 ,,the ,,mooted ,,point4--,a ,morning ,visit and ,morning ,occupations-- ,macaulay and the ,blanket ,coat--,curate's ,daughters and the ,daughters of ,new-,england--,a ,sybarite--,a ,disclaimer and a ,witticism--,not a ,gentleman--,trifles make the sum of ,human ,things--,the ,slough of ,despond--,a ,gift--,reading ,poetry-- ,a ,soldier's ,tactics--,the ,unpardonable ,sin--,a ,fair ,champion and a ,noble ,sentiment1 #dfc ,anecdotes of a ,british ,minister1 an ,ex-,governor1 and an ,american ,statesman1 #dgj ,chief-,justice ,marshall and the ,young ,man of ,fashion1 #dgb ,habits of ,early ,friends1 #dgh ,,the ,,prophecy ,,fulfilled4--,a ,denouement--,cupid turned ,carrier-- ,wedding-,cards and ,welcome ,news--,a ,true ,woman's ,letter1 #dgh ,uncle ,hal's ,farewell1 #dhj ,,the ,,american ,,gentleman',s ,,guide4 ,,letter ,i4 ,,dress4 ,,my ,,dear ,,young ,,friends3-- ,as you are already1 to some extent1 acquainted with the design and scope of the ,letters ,i propose to address to you1 there is no necessity for an elaborate prelude at the commencement of the series4 ,we will1 with your permission1 devote our attention first to ,dress--to the external man--and advance1 in accordance with the true rules of ,art1 gradually1 towards more important subjects4 ,whatever may be the abstract opinions individually entertained respecting the taste and regard for comfort evinced in the costume now1 with trifling variations1 almost universally adopted by men in all civilized lands1 few will dispute the practical utility of conforming to the general requisitions of ,fashion4 ,happily for the gratification of fancy1 however1 the all-potent goddess1 arbitrary and imperative as are her laws1 permits1 at least to some extent1 such variations from her general standard as personal convenience1 physical peculiarities1 or varying circumstances may require4 ,but a due regard for these and similar considerations by no means involves the exhibition of eccentricity1 which ,i hold to be inconsistent with good taste1 whether displayed in dress or manner4 ,a violation of the established rules of ,convention cannot easily be defended1 except when required by our obligations to the more strenuous requirements of duty4 ,usually1 however1 departures from conventional propriety evince simply an ill-regulated character4 ,the ,laws of ,convention1 like all wise laws1 are instituted to promote the greatest good of the greatest number4 ,they constitute a ,code of ,politeness and ,propriety1 adapted to the promotion of social convenience1 varying somewhat with local circumstances1 it may be1 but everywhere substantially the same4 ,it is common to talk of the eccentricities of genius1 as though they are essential concomitants of genius itself4 ,nothing can be more unfounded and pernicious than this impression4 ,the eccentricities that sometimes characterize the intellectually gifted1 are but so many humiliating proofs of the imperfection of human nature1 even when exhibiting its highest attributes4 ,hence the affectation of such peculiarities simply subjects one to ridicule1 and1 in many instances1 to the contempt of sensible people4 ,some years since1 when ,byron was the bright1 particular star worshipped by young ,sophs1 it was quite a habit among our juvenile collegians to drink gin1 wear their collars a la mode de ,byron1 cultivate misanthropy upon system1 and manifest the most concentrated horror of seeing women eat6 ,in too many instances1 the sublimity of genius was meagerly illustrated by these aspirants for notoriety4 ,in place of catching an inspiration1 they only caught cold2 their gloomy indifference to the hopes1 the enjoyments1 and pursuits of ordinary life1 distressed no one1 save1 perhaps1 their ci-devant nurses1 or the most tender of mothers2 their killing peculiarities of costume were scarcely daguerreotyped even upon the impressible hearts of the school-girls whose smiling observance they might chance passingly to arrest2 women of sense and education pertinaciously adhered to a liking for roast beef1 with variations1 and manifested an equally decided partiality for the society and attention of men who were not indebted for the activity of their intellects to the agency of the juniper berry6 ,falling into such absurdities as these1 a man cannot hope to escape the obnoxious imputation of being very young6 ,but while care is taken to avoid the display of undue attention to the adornment of the outer man1 everything approaching to indifference or neglect1 in that regard1 should be considered equally reprehensible4 ,no one entertains a more profound respect for the prodigious learning of ,dr4 ,johnson1 from knowing that he often refused to dine out rather than change his linen2 nor are we more impressed by the gallant tribute to kindred genius that induced his attending ,mrs4 ,siddons to her carriage1 when she visited him in the third-floor rooms he continued to occupy even in his old age1 because his trunk-hose were dangling about his heels1 as he descended the stairs with his fair guest4 ,one does not envy ,porson1 the greatest of modern ,greek scholars1 his habitually dirty and shabby dress1 because it is forever associated with his learned celebrity6 ,neither is ,greeley a better1 or more influential editor1 that he is believed to be invisible to mortal eyes except when encased in a long drab-colored overcoat4 ,he1 however1 seems to have adopted an axiom laid down in a now almost-forgotten novel much admired in my youth--,thaddeus of ,warsaw1 ,i think--,acquire the character of an oddity1 and you seat yourself in an easy-chair for life4 ,the supposition of monomania most charitably explains the indulgence in habits so disgusting as those well-known to have characterized the distinguished savant ----1 who died recently at ,paris4 ,had he slept in a clean bed1 and observed the decencies of life1 generally1 the race would have been equally benefited by his additions to scientific lore1 and his country the more honored that he left a name in no degree in bad odor with the world6 ,but to return3--,no better uninspired model for young ,americans exists than that afforded1 in the most minute details1 of the life and character of ,washington2 and even upon a point comparatively so insignificant as that we are at present discussing1 he has left us his recorded opinion3 ,always1 he writes to his nephew1 have your clothes made of the best materials1 by the most accomplished persons in their business1 whose services you can command1 and in the prevailing fashion4 ,with such illustrious authority for the advice1 then1 ,i unhesitatingly counsel you to dress in the fashion4 ,to descend to particulars designed to include all the minutiae of a gentleman's wardrobe1 were as futile as useless2 but a few hints upon this point1 may1 nevertheless1 not be wholly out of place in epistles so frank1 practical and familiar as these are intended to be4 ,the universal partiality of our countrymen for black1 as the color of dress clothes1 at least1 is frequently remarked upon by foreigners4 ,among the best dressed men on the continent1 as well as in ,england1 black1 though not confined to the clergy1 is in much less general use than here4 ,they adopt the darker shades of blue1 brown and green1 and for undress almost as great diversity of colors as of fabrics4 ,an ,english gentleman1 for instance1 is never seen in the morning 7which means abroad all that portion of the twenty-four hours devoted to business1 out-door amusements and pursuits1 c42--it is always morning until the late dinner hour has passed7 in the half-worn coat of fine black cloth1 that so inevitably gives a man a sort of shabby-genteel look2 but in some strong-looking1 rough1 knock-about fixin1 frequently of nondescript form and fashion1 but admirably adapted both in shape and material for use--for work4 ,of this1 by the way1 every man1 worthy of the name1 has a daily portion to perform1 in some shape or other--from the ,duke of ,devonshire1 with a fortune that would purchase half-a-dozen consort-king-growing ,german principalities1 and leave a princely inheritance for his successors1 to the youngest son of a youngest son1 who1 though proud of the gentle blood in his veins1 earns1 as an employe in the service of the government1--in some one of its ten thousand forms of patronage and power--the limited salary that barely suffices1 when eked out by the most ingenious economy1 to supply the hereditary necessities of a gentleman4 ,but this is a digression4 ,as ,i was saying in the morning1 during work-hours1 whatever be a man's employment1 and wherever1 his outside garb should be suited to ease and convenience1 its only distinctive marks being the most scrupulous cleanliness1 and the invariable accompaniment of fresh linen4 ,coming to the discussion of matters appertaining to a toilette elaborate enough for occasions of ceremony1 ,i think of no better general rule than that laid down by ,dr4 ,johnson 7in his character of a shrewd observer of men and manners1 rather than as himself affording an illustration of the axiom1 perhaps7--the best dressed persons are those in whose attire nothing in particular attracts attention4 ,there is an indescribable air of refinement1 a je ne sais quoi1 as the ,french have it1 at an equal remove from the over-washed look of your thorough ,englishman 7their close-cropped hair always reminds me of the incipient stage of preparation for assuming a strait-jacket67 and the walking tailor's advertisement that perambulates ,fifth ,avenue1 ,chestnut-street1 the ,boston ,mall1 and other fashionable promenades in our cis-,atlantic cities1 in attendance upon the locomotive milliner's show-cases1 yclept belles--,god save the mark6 ,the essentials of a gentleman's dress1 for occasions of ceremony are--a stylish1 well-fitting cloth coat1 of some dark color1 and of unexceptionable quality2 nether garments to correspond1 or in warm weather1 or under other suitable circumstances1 white pants of a fashionable material and make2 the finest and purest linen1 embroidered in white1 if at all2 a cravat and vest1 of some dark or neutral tint1 according to the physiognomical peculiarities of the wearer1 and the prevailing mode2 a fresh-looking1 fashionable black hat and carefully-fitted1 modish boots1 light-colored gloves1 and a soft1 thin1 white handkerchief4 ,perhaps1 the most arbitrary of earthly divinities permits her subjects more license in regard to the arrangement of the hair and beard1 than with respect to any other matter of the outer man4 ,a real artist1 and such every man should be1 who meddles with the human face divine or its adjuncts1 will discern at a glance the capabilities of each head submitted to his manipulation4 ,defects will thus be lessened1 or wholly concealed1 and good points brought out4 ,if you wear your beard1 wear it in moderation--extremes are always vulgar6 ,avoid all fantastic arrangements of the hair--turning it under in a huge roll1 smooth as the cylinder of a steam-engine1 and as little suggestive of good taste and comfort as would be the coil of a boa constrictor similarly located1 parting it in ,miss ,nancy style1 and twisting it into love soap8 locks with a curling-tongs1 or allowing it to straggle in long and often1 seemingly1 uncombed and unkempt masses over the coat-collar4 ,this last outrage of good-taste is so gross a violation of what is technically called keeping1 as to excite in me extreme disgust4 ,ill1 indeed1 does it accord with the trim1 compact1 easily-portable costume of our day1 and a miserable imitation1 it is of the flowing hair that1 in days of yore1 fell naturally and gracefully upon the broad lace collar turned down over the velvet or satin short-cloak of the cavaliers and appropriately adorning shoulders upon which1 with equal fitness1 drooped a long1 waving plume1 from the wide-brimmed1 steeple-crowned1 picturesque hat that completed the costume4 ,while on this subject of collars1 etc41 let us stop to discuss for a moment the nice matter of their size and shape4 ,just now1 like the life of a poor old man1 they have dwindled to the shortest span1 under the pruning shears of the operatives of the mode4 ,whether this is the result of a necessity growing with the lengthening beards that threaten wholly to ignore their existence1 you must determine for yourselves1 but ,i must enter my protest against the total extinction of this relieving line of white1 so long1 at least1 as the broad wristband1 now so appropriately accompanying the wide coat-sleeve1 shall remain in vogue4 ,the mention of this last tasteful appendage naturally brings to mind the highly ornate style of sleeve-buttons now so generally adopted4 ,eschew1 ,i pray you1 all flash stones for these or any other personal ornament4 ,nothing is more unexceptionable for sleeve-buttons and the fastenings of the front of a shirt1 than fine gold1 fashioned in some simple form1 sufficiently massive to indicate use and durability1 and skillfully and handsomely wrought1 if ornamented at all4 ,few young men can consistently wear diamonds1 and they are1 if not positively exceptionable1 in no degree requisite to the completion of the most elaborate toilette4 ,but those who do sport them1 should confine themselves to genuine stones of unmistakable water1 and never let their number induce in the minds of beholders the recollection that a travelling ,jew--whether from hereditary distrust of the stability of circumstances1 or from some other consideration of personal convenience1 usually carries his entire fortune about his person6 ,better the simplest fastenings of mother-of-pearl than such staring vulgarity of display4 ,and so of a watch and its appendages4 ,a gentleman carries a watch for convenience1 and secures it safely upon his person1 wearing with it no useless ornament1 paraded to the eye4 ,it is1 like his pencil and purse1 good of its kind1 and if he can afford it1 handsome1 but it is never flashy6 ,the fashion of sporting signet-rings is not so general1 perhaps1 as it was a little while since1 but it still retains a place among the minutiae of our present theme4 ,here1 again1 the same general rules of good taste apply as to other ornaments4 ,when worn at all1 everything of this sort should be most unexceptionably and unmistakably tasteful and genuine4 ,any deviation from good ton1 in this regard1 will as inevitably give a man the air of a loafer as an ill-fitting boot will1 or the slightest declension from the perpendicular in his hat6 ,in connection with my earnest advice in regard to all flash ornaments1 to whatever purpose applied1 ,i must not omit to record my protest against staring patterns in pants1 cravats1 vests1 etc4 ,carefully avoid all the large1 many-colored plaids and stripes1 of which 7as ,punch has demonstrated7 it takes more than one ordinary-sized man to show the pattern2 and all glaring colors as well4 ,i have no partiality1 as ,i believe ,i have intimated1 for the eternal dead black which1 abroad at least1 belongs1 by usage1 primarily to the clergy2 but this is a better extreme than that which has for its original type the sign-board getting-up of a horse-jockey4 ,a fashion has of late years obtained extensively1 which has always1 within my remembrance1 had its admirers--that of a white suit throughout1 for very warm weather4 ,this has the great merit of comfort1 and some occupations permit its adoption without inconvenience4 ,but even the use of thin summer cravats 7which should always be of some unconspicuous color7 wonderfully mitigates the sufferings incident to the dog-days1 and these are admissible for dress occasions1 when corresponding with the general effect of the vest and nether investments4 ,to recur once more to the important item of body linen2--never wear a colored#a shirt--have no such article in your wardrobe4 ,figures and stripes do not conceal impurity1 nor should this be a desideratum with any decent man4 ,the now almost obsolete ,german author1 ,kotzebue--whose plays were very much admired when ,i was young1 and whom your modern students of ,german should read in the original--,i remember1 makes one of his female characters1 a sensible1 observing woman1 say that she detected a gentleman in the disguise of a menial by observing the fineness of his linen6 ,if your occupation be such as to require strong1 rough-and-tumble garments1 wear them1 unhesitatingly1 when you are at work1 but have them good of their kind1 and keep them clean4 ,while your dress handkerchief should not look1 either for size or quality1 as if you had1 for the nonce1 perverted the proper use of bed-linen--in the woods1 for pioneer travelling1 rough riding1 etc41 a bandanna is more sensible1 as is a cut-away coat1 or something of that sort1 with ample pockets1 loose1 strong1 and warm1 and a soft broad-brimmed1 durable hat1 or cap1 as the case may be--not an old1 fine black cloth dress-coat1 surmounted by a narrow-rimmed segment of a stove-pipe1 with a satin cravat1 though it be half-worn6 ,in short1 my dear boys1 study fitness and propriety in all things4 ,this is the legitimate result of a well regulated mind1 the characteristic of a true ,gentleman--which every ,american should aim to be--not a thing made up of dress1 perfumery1 and boos1 as ,sir ,archy ,mc,sycophant styled them2 but a right-minded1 self-respecting man1 with ,excelsior for his motto1 and our broad1 free1 glorious land all before him1 where to choose the theatre of a useful1 honorable life4 ,matters like those ,i have dwelt on in this letter1 are trifles1 comparatively2 but trifles1 in the aggregate1 make life1 and1 thus viewed1 are not unworthy the subordinate attention of a man of sense4 ,they are collateral1 ,i admit1 but they go to make up the perfect whole--to assist in the attainment of the true standard which every young man should keep steadily in view4 ,and1 insignificant as the effect of attention to such matters may appear to you1 depend upon it1 that habits of propriety and refinement in regard to such personal details1 have more than a negative influence upon character in general4 ,the man who preserves inviolable his self-respect1 in regard to all personal habits and surroundings1 is1 ceteris paribus1 far less likely to acquire a relish for low company and profligate indulgences1 and to cultivate correspondent mental and moral attributes4 ,it occurs to me that1 going into detail1 as ,i have1 your attention should1 in the proper connection1 have been called to a little matter of dress etiquette1 of which you moderns are strangely neglectful1 as it appears to an old stickler for propriety like me4 ,to have offered an ungloved hand to a lady1 in the dance1 would1 in days when ,i courted the graces1 have been esteemed a peccadillo1 and over-punctilious as you may think me1 it seems very unhandsome to me4 ,a dress costume is no more complete without gloves than without boots1 and to touch the pure glove of a lady with uncovered fingers is--impertinent6 #a ,it will be understood1 of course1 that the necessities and the regulations of military life are here excepted4 ,here1 again1 let me condemn all fancy display4 ,a fresh white1 or1 what amounts at night to the same thing1 pale yellow glove1 is the only admissible thing for balls1 other large evening parties1 ceremonious dinners1 and wedding receptions2 but for making ordinary morning visits1 or for the street1 some dark1 unnoticeable color is in quite as good taste and ton4 ,bright-colored gloves bring the hands into too much conspicuousness for good effect1 and1 to my mind1 give the whole man a plebeian air4 ,i remember once being1 for a long time1 unable to divine what a finely-dressed young fellow1 in whom ,i thought ,i recognised the son of an old college chum1 could be carrying in each hand1 as he walked towards me across the ,albany ,park2 of similar size and color1 he seemed1 ,john ,gilpin like1 to have ----hung a bottle on each side ,to keep the balance sure6 ,when ,i could1 in sailor phrase1 make him out1 behold a pair of great fat hands1 incased in tight-fitting gloves1 closely resembling in hue the brightest orange-colored wrapping-paper6 ,you will expect me not entirely to overlook the important topic of over-garments4 ,as in all similar matters1 it is the best taste not to deviate so much from the prevailing modes as to make one's self remarkable4 ,fortunately1 however1 for the infinite diversity presented by the human form1 a sufficient variety in this respect is offered by fashion to gratify the greatest fastidiousness4 ,and no point of dress1 perhaps1 more imperatively demands discrimination1 with regard to its selection4 ,thus1 a tall1 slender figure1 with narrow shoulders and ill-developed arms1 is displayed to little advantage in the close-fitting1 long-skirted overcoat that would give desirable compactness to the rotund person of our short1 portly friend1 ,alderman ,d41 while the defects of the same form would be almost wholly concealed by one of the graceful and convenient ,talmas that so successfully combine beauty and comfort1 and afford1 to an artistically-cultivated eye1 the nearest approach to an abstract standard of taste1 presented by masculine attire1 since the flowing short cloak of the so-called ,spanish costume was in vogue4 ,here1 again1 one is reminded of the propriety of regarding fitness in the selection of garments especially designed to promote comfort4 ,nothing can well be more ungainly than the appearance of a man in one of the large woollen shawls that have of late obtained such general favor1 at least as they are frequently worn1 slouching loosely from the shoulders1 and almost necessarily accompanied by a stoop1 the more readily to retain them in place4 ,they are well adapted to night travel1 to exposed riding and driving 7when properly secured about the chest71 and are useful as wrappers when a man is dressed for the opera or a ball4 ,but that any sensible person should encumber himself with such an appendage in walking--for daily street wear--is matter for surprise4 ,they have by no means the merit for this purpose of the ,south ,american poncho1 which is simply a large square shawl of thick woollen cloth1 with an opening in the centre for passing it over the head1 thus securing it in place1 and giving the wearer the free use of his arms and hands1 a desideratum quite overlooked in the usual arrangement1 or rather non-arrangement of these dangling ,m'c,gregors4 ,but the way1 ,i well remember1 that one of the young ,t----s of ,albany1 not very many years ago1 was literally mobbed in the streets of that ancient asylum of ,dutch predilections1 upon his appearance there in a poncho brought with him on his return from ,brazil6 ,so much for the mutations of fashion and opinion6 ,to sum up all1 let me slightly paraphrase the laconic and invariable advice of the immortal ,nelson to the young middies under his command4 ,always obey your superior officer1 said the ,english hero1 and hate a ,frenchman as you would the devil6 ,now then1 for my new reading3--,in ,,dress1 always obey the dictates of ,fashion1 regulated by good sense1 and hate shabby gentility as you would the devil6 ,well1 you young dogs1 here ends the substance of my first old-fashioned letter of advice to you4 ,i will confess that upon being convinced1 as ,i was at the very outset1 how much easier it is to think and talk than to write1 ,i was more than half inclined to recall my promise to you all4 ,the pen of your veteran uncle1 my boys1 has little of fuss and feathers1 though it may be rough and ready4 ,the ,mill-,boy of the ,slashes used often to say1 when we were both young men1 and constantly associated in business matters as well as in friendship1 ,let ,lunettes do that1 he holds the readier pen2 but times are changed since then1 and you must not expect fine rhetorical flourishes1 or the elegances of modern phraseology in these straight-forward effusions4 ,i learned my ,english when ,johnson's ,dictionary was the only standard of our language1 and the ,spectator regarded as affording an unexceptionable model of style4 ,with this proviso1 ,i dare say1 we shall get on bravely1 now that we are once fairly afloat2 and1 perhaps1 some day we'll get an enterprising publisher in our ,quaker ,city to shape these effusions into a prent book for private circulation--a capital idea6 at least for redeeming my crabbed hieroglyphics from being damned with faint praise by my numerous readers1 a thought by no means palatable to the sensitive mind of your old relative4 ,i believe it was nominated in the bond1 that the subjects treated of in each of my promised letters shall be illustrated by stories1 or anecdotes1 drawn from what you were pleased to style the ample stores furnished by a life of large observation and varied experience4 ,it occurs to me1 however1 that as this1 my first awkward essay to gratify your united wishes1 has already grown to an inconceivable length1 it were well to reserve for another occasion the fulfillment of the latter clause of your request1 as more ample space and a less lagging pen may then second the efforts of ,your affectionate ,,uncle ,,hal4 ,p4 ,s4--,in my next1 ,i will include some practical directions respecting the details of costume suitable for various ceremonious occasions--the opera1 dinners1 weddings1 etc41 etc4 ,whew6 methinks ,i hear you all exclaim1 our old uncle setting himself up as ',the glass of fashion and the mould of form6' ,he may indeed be able to ----'hold the mirror up to ,nature2' but to attempt to reflect the changeful hues of mere fashion---- ,not too fast1 my young friends6 ,do not suppose me capable of such folly4 ,but1 for the benefit of such of you as are so far removed from the centre of ton as to require such assistance1 ,i have invoked the aid of a good-humored friend1 thoroughly au fait in such matters1 the observed of all observers in our ,american ,belgravia1 a luminary in whose rays men do gladly sun themselves4 ,h4 ,l4 ,,letter ,,ii4 ,,sketches ,,and ,,anecdotes4 ,,my ,,dear ,,nephews3 ,in accordance with the promise with which ,i concluded my last letter1 ,i will give you1 in this1 narrated in my homely way1 some anecdotes1 illustrative of the opinions ,i have expressed upon the subject of ,,dress4 99 99 99 99 99 ,liking1 sometimes1 to amuse myself by a study of the masses1 in holyday attire and holyday humor1--to see the bone and sinew of our great country1 the people who make our laws1 and for whose good they are administered by their servants1 enjoying a jubilee1 and wishing also to meet some old friends who were to be there 7among others1 ,gen4 ,wool1 who1 though politicians accused him of going to lay pipe for the presidency1 is a right good fellow1 and the very soul of old-fashioned hospitality71 ,i went on one occasion to a little city in western ,new ,york1 to attend a ,state ,fair4 ,on the night of the fete that concluded the affair1 your cousins1 ,grace and ,gerte1 to whom you all say ,i can refuse nothing1 however unreasonable1 insisted that ,i should be their escort1 and protested warmly against my remonstrances upon the absurdity of an old fellow like me being kept up until after midnight to watch1 like a griffin guarding his treasures1 while two silly girls danced with some whiskered ,pandoor1 or some fierce huzzar1 who would be as much puzzled to tell where he won his epaulettes as was our 7militia7 ,gen4 ----1 of whom1 when he was presented to that sovereign1 on the occasion of a court levee1 ,louis ,philippe asked1 where he had served6 ,it would not become me to repeat half the flattering things by which their elegant chaperon1 ,mrs4 ,b4 seconded the coaxing declarations of your cousins1 that they would be enough more proud to go with ,uncle ,hal than with all the half-dozen beaux together1 whose services had been formally tendered and accepted for the occasion4 ,yes1 indeed1 cried ,gerte1 for ,uncle ,hal is a real soldier6 ,and ,i believe the wheedling rogue actually pressed her velvety lips to the ugly sabre scar that helps to mar my time-worn visage4 ,col4 ,lunettes is too gallant not to lay down his arms when ladies are his assailants6 said ,mrs4 ,b4 with one of her conquering smiles4 ,well1 ladies1 said ,i1 ,i cry you mercy-- ',was ever colonel by such sirens wooed1 ,was ever colonel by such sirens won6' ,i have no intention to inflict upon you a long description of the festivities of the evening4 ,suffice it to say upon that point1 that the beauty and fashion1 as the newspapers phrase it1 not only of the ,empire ,state1 but of the ,old ,dominion1 and others of the fair sisterhood of our ,union1 were brilliantly represented4 ,when our little party entered the dancing-room1 which we did at rather a late hour1 for we had been listening to some good speaking in another apartment--the ladies declared that they preferred to do so1 as they could dance at any time1 but rarely had an opportunity of hearing distinguished men speak in public1--the observed of all observers1 among the fairer part of the assembly1 and the envy1 of course1 of all the male candidates for admiration1 was young ,general ----1 one of the aids-de-camp of the ,governor of the ,state4 ,in attendance upon his superior officer1 who was present with the rest of his staff1 our juvenile ,mars was in full military dress1 and made up1 as the ladies say1 in the most elaborate and accepted style of love-locks 7,i have no idea what their modern name may be71 whiskers and moustaches4 ,the glow that mantled the cheeks of the triumphant ,boanerges could not have been deeper dyed had his modesty1 like that of ,washington1 when overpowered by the first public tribute rendered to him by ,congress1 been equalled only by his bravery6 ,he above the rest in shape and gesture1 ,proudly eminent4 but apparently1 wholly unconscious of the attention of which he was the subject1 was smilingly engrossed by his devotion to the changes of the dance1 and to his fair partner2 and the last object that attracted my eye1 as we retired from the field of his glory1 were the well-padded military coat1 the curling moustaches and sparkling eyes of ,adjutant-,gen4 ----6 ,true to my old-fashioned notions of propriety1 ,i went the next morning to pay my respects to ,mrs4 ,b41 and to look after your cousins1--especially that witch ,gerte1 whom her father had requested me to keep an eye upon1 when placing her under my care for the journey to the ,fair4 ,i found the whole fair bevy assembled in the drawing-room1 and in high spirits4 ,after the usual inquiries put and answered1 ,grace cried out1 ,oh6 ,uncle ,hal1 ,i must tell you6 ,gen4 ---- has been here this morning6 ,he was wearing such a beautiful coat6--his dress last night was nothing to it6--it fairly took all our hearts by storm6 ,at these words1 a merry twinkle1 as bright and harmless as sheet lightning1 darted round the circle4 ,the master of the house entered at that moment1 and before the conversation he had interrupted was fairly renewed1 invited me into the adjoining dining-room to take a mouthful of lunch4 ,while my host and ,i sat at a side-table1 sipping a little excellent old ,cognac1 with just a dash of ice water in it 7a bad practice1 a very bad practice1 by the by1 my boys1 which ,i would strenuously counsel you not to fall into2 but an inveterate habit acquired by an old soldier when no one thought of it being very wrong7 the lively chit-chat in the drawing-room occasionally reached my ears4 ,it was tissue1 ,i am quite sure6 said ,miss ----4 ,no matter about the material--the color would have redeemed anything6 cried ,grace4 ,sea-green6 chimed in the flute notes of another of the gay junto1 what can equal the ,general's verdancy8 ,what8 7here ,i recognized the animated voice of the lady of the mansion72 why1 only his mauvais ton1 in 'congratulating' me upon having 'so many' at my reception for ,governor and ,mrs4 ----1 the other evening1 and his equally flattering assurance that he had not seen so 'brilliant a military turn-out in a long time'--meaning1 of course1 his elegant self6 ,you are mistaken1 however1 ,laura1 about his coat being of tissue1 it was lawn1 and had just come home from his lawn-dress1 when he put it on4 ,i distinctly saw the mark of the smoothing-iron on the cuff1 as well as that his wristband was soiled considerably4 ,he had only had time to 'change' his coat since he went 'home with the girls in the morning1' chimed in some one1 and his hair1 ,i noticed as he rose to make what he called his 'farewell bow of exit1' was filled with the dust of that dirty ball-room4 ,which couldn't be brushed out without taking out the curl1 too1 ,i suppose6 ,this last sally emanated ,i believe1 from one of the most amiable1 usually1 of the group4 ,well1 said the hostess1 with a half-sigh of relief1 he seldom inflicts himself upon me6 ,his grand entree this morning1 in the character of a katy-did1 gotten up a la mode naturelle1 7here there was a general clapping of hands1 accompanied by bravos that would have rejoiced the heart of a prima donna71 was1 no doubt1 occasioned by his having heard some one say that1 what vulgar people style a 'party call1' was incumbent upon him after my reception4 ,what a pity his informant had not also enlightened him on another point of ettiquetty1 as old ,mr4 ,smith calls it1 and so spared me the mortification1 my dears1 of presenting to you1 as a specimen of the beaux of ----1 and one of the aids-de-camp of ,governor ----1 a man making a visit of ceremony in a bright1 pea-green1 thin muslin shooting-jacket6 99 99 99 99 99 ,bulwer1 the novelist1 when ,i was last in ,london1 some two or three years ago--and for aught ,i know he still continues the practice--used to appear in his seat in the ,english ,house of ,commons one day in light-colored hair1 eye-brows and whiskers1 with an entire suit to correspond2 and the next1 perhaps1 in black hair1 etc41 accompanied by a black coat1 neckcloth1 and so on throughout the catalogue4 ,a proof of the admitted eccentricities of genius1 ,i suppose4 99 99 99 99 99 ,d----1 who is now a very respectable veteran lawyer1 and well known in the courts of the ,empire ,state1 was originally a ,green ,mountain ,boy--tall1 a trifle ungainly1 with a laugh that might have shaken his native hills1 rather unmanageable hair1 each individual member of the fraternity1 instead of regarding the true democratic principle1 often choosing to keep ,independence on its own account1 and a walk that required the whole breadth of an ordinary side-walk to bring out all its claims to admiration4 ,though ,d---- did not sacrifice to the graces1 he really wrote very clever ,lines2 but his shrewd native sense taught him that a reputation as a magazine poet would not have a direct tendency to increase the number of his clients4 ,so the sometime devotee of the ,muse of ,poetry1 bravely eschewing the open use of a talent that1 together with his ever-ready good-humor and quiet ,yankee drollery1 had brought him somewhat into favor in society1 despite his natural disadvantages1 entered into partnership with an old practitioner in ,a----1 and bent himself to his career with sturdy energy of purpose4 ,new ,year coming round again in the good old ,dutch city where ,d---- had pitched his tent1 some of his friends offered to take him with them in their round of calls1 and introduce him to such of their fair friends as it was desirable to know2 hinting1 at the same time1 that this would afford a suitable occasion for donning a suit of new and fashionable garments4 ,on the first of ,january1 therefore1 agreeable to appointment1 his broad1 pock-marked face--luminous as a colored lantern outside an oyster-saloon--and his gait more than usually diffusive1 ,d---- was seen coming along from his lodgings1 to meet his companions for the day's expedition1 and evidently with sails full set4 ,it soon became apparent to all beholders1 not only that the grub had been transformed into a full-fledged butterfly of fashion1 but--that he wore his long1 wide1 ample-caped1 new cloak wrong side out6 99 99 99 99 99 ,at the recent ,peace ,convention in ,paris1 even those strenuous adherents to things as they were1 the ,turks1 wore the usual dress of ,europeans and ,americans throughout1 with the single exception of the fez1 which1 ,i believe1 no adherent of ,mahomet will renounce1 except with his religion4 ,young ,charles ,p---- told me that ,count ,orloff's sable-lined talma was of the most unexceptionable ,parisian cut4 99 99 99 99 99 ,an agreeable young friend of mine1 the ,rev4 ,mr4 ,h41 contrives to support a family 7,heaven only knows how67 upon the few hundred dollars a year that make the usual salary of a country clergyman4 ,he indulges himself1 at rare intervals1 in a visit to his fashionable city relatives1 by way of necessary relaxation1 and to brush up a little in matters of taste1 literature1 etc4 ,perhaps1 too1 he thinks it well1 occasionally1 to return1 with his wife and children1 the long visits made every summer by a pretty fair representation of his numerous family circle at the pleasant little rectory1 where refinement1 industry1 and the ingenuity of a practical housekeeper1 create a charm often lacking in more pretentious establishments4 ,on one of these important occasions1 it was decided that the handsome young rector should avail himself of his city jaunt to purchase a new suit of clothes1 his best clerical coat1 notwithstanding the most careful use and the neatest repairing1 being no longer presentable for ceremonious purposes4 7,i make no doubt that the compatibility of the contemplated journey and the new clothes1 both in the same year1 was anxiously discussed in family council47 ,as soon as possible after his arrival in town1 my clerical friend broached the all-important subject of the tailor1 to one of his brothers1 a youth of unquestionable authority in such matters1 and invoked his assistance4 ,with all my heart1 ,will1 we'll drop in at my own place1 as we go down this morning2 they get everything up there artistically4 ,and at artistic prices1 ,i fear1 soliloquized the new candidate for the honors of the cloth1 with a slight quaking at heart1 as a long-cherished plan for adding1 without her previous knowledge1 a shawl to the waning bridal outfit of his self-sacrificing wife1 rose before his mental vision4 ,but1 ,i say1 ,will1 inquired his modish brother1 of our young clergyman1 in a tone of good-humored banter1 as they sauntered down ,broadway together1 after breakfast1 where did you buy your new chapeau8 ,at ,a----1 before leaving home---- ,excuse me1 my dear fellow1 but it's a nondescript6 ,it will never do with your new suit1 allow me to say1 frankly4 ,but the person of whom ,i bought it had just returned from ,new ,york1 and he assured me it was the latest fashion6 ,i gave him eight dollars for it1 at any rate4 ,preposterous6 ejaculated the man of fashion1 in a tone portentous as that which ushered in the prodigious of ,dominie ,sampson1 when astounded by his discoveries in the mysteries of the toilet4 ,it first saw the light in the 'rural districts1' depend on't6 ,the quizzical glances with which his companion ever and anon scrutinized the crowning glory of his neat morning attire1 as he had previously thought it1 gradually overpowered the philosophy of my friend1--clergyman though he was--the admitted ,adonis of his class in college1 and the favorite of ladies1 old and young4 ,the church's ----favorites are but men4 ,and who e'er felt the stoic when ,first conscious of---- wearing a shocking bad hat6 ,the result was1 that the condemned article was exchanged at a fashionable establishment for one fully meeting the approbation of the modish critic4 ,what6 another new hat8 cried the young wife1 whose quick woman's eye at once caught the je ne sais quoi--the air of the thing1 as her husband rejoined her later in the day4 ,the gentleman explained2--,and you thought the other so becoming too1 ,belle1 he added1 in a half-deprecatory tone2 but ,chauncey was so strenuous about it1 and ,i knew he would appeal to you1 and that you would not be satisfied without---- ,but they allowed you really nothing for the other1 though it was quite new1 and certainly a nice hat4 ,what a pity1 now1 that you did not travel in your old one1 though it was a little worse for wear1 or even in the cap you bought to fish in4 ,there was ,mr4 ---- in the same car with us1 looking anything but elegant1 ,i am sure1 with the queerest-looking old ',kossuth1' ,i believe they are called1 on1 and the roughest overcoat6 ,but1 you know1 ,belle1 dear1 such a dress is not considered admissible for the clergy4 ,no6 well1 whatever is sensible and convenient should be1 ,i am convinced now1 if ,i was not before4 ,our young clergyman1 as he turned the still-cherished plan of the new shawl anxiously in his mind1 a sadder and a wiser man than before1 determined never again to buy a new dress hat expressly to perform a journey in1 especially when going directly from the rural districts to a large city2 besides laying up for future use some other collateral resolutions and reflections of an equally wise and practical character4 ,why1 ,belle1 said the superb ,chauncey to his fair sister-in-law1 drawing her little son nearer to him1 as he leaned on his mother's lap after dinner1 this is really a magnificent boy1 'pon-my-word6--you should take him to ',bradbrook's' and fit him up6 ,would you like a velvet jacket1 eh1 my fine fellow8 ,the curly-headed child pointed his dimpled forefinger towards the pretty garment he was wearing1 and said1 timidly1 ,pretty new coata1 mamma made for him4 ,i believe1 responded the young mother1 quietly1 bending her beaming eyes upon the little face lovingly upturned to hers1 that ,willie will have to do without a velvet jacket for the present2 mamma intended to get one for him in ,new ,york1 but----the sentence was finished mentally with papa's second new hat has taken the money4 ,this will reveal the secretly-cherished plan of the young rector's wife1 with which a faint sketch of a pretty cap to crown the shining curls of her darling1 had dimly mingled1 almost unconsciously to herself1 until brought out by the power of that tide in the affairs of men--necessity6 99 99 99 99 99 ,sitting in the same seat in a railroad car with ex-,chief-,justice ----1 than whom there is no more eminent jurist nor finished gentleman in the land1 discoursing earnestly of old times and new1 our conversation was suddenly interrupted1 as we stopped to feed our iron steed1 by the loud salutation of a youth who seemed to take more pains than the law requires under such circumstances1 to enunciate the name of my companion4 ,pleasant morning1 ,judge6--if ,i don't intrude 7a glance at me1 and no introduction by the chief-justice71 is this seat unoccupied8 ,and down he sat vis-a-vis to us4 ,he had the talk pretty much to himself1 for a while4 ,by-and-by1 our uninvited guest apologized for his gloves1 half-worn fine black kid4 ,they were really too bad2 must have taken them up by mistake1 in the hurry of getting off1 etc4 ,i always keep an old pair expressly for these abominably dirty cars1 but1 ,i believe1 ,i have forgotten to put them on this morning1 said the venerable lawyer1 in a peculiarly quiet tone1 unfolding1 as he spoke1 the ample1 old-fashioned1 travel-worn camlet cloak1 beneath which his arms had hitherto been crossed1 and thus revealing his neat1 simple dress1 and the warm1 clean lining of his outer garment4 ,taking a well-worn pair of soft beaver gloves from an inside pocket1 the judge1 with an air of peculiar deliberation1 drew them upon hands1 small to a fault1 as the novels say1 and as white as those myths are supposed to be1 and re-adjusted his arms and cloak with the same deliberation4 ,a nice observer might note a slight gleam of the well-known smile1 whose expressive sarcasm had so often withstood professional insolence and ignorance1 as the chief justice turned his head1 and cursorily surveyed his fellow-passengers4 ,who is that young man1 sir8 ,i inquired1 when we were1 soon after1 upon again stopping1 relieved of the presence of this jackanapes4 ,his name is ----1 replied the judge4 ,a scion of the law1 ,i think now--a son of the ----1 who made a fortune1 you may remember1 by the sudden rise of ,west ,india molasses1 some few years ago 7a pause74 ,i never rate a man by his antecedents1 ,colonel1 but a little modesty is always suitable and becoming1 in very young persons1 added the chief-justice1 somewhat sententiously4 99 99 99 99 99 ,you will1 perhaps1 remember the commotion created by the promulgation of ,marcy's edict respecting the dress to be worn on state occasions1 by our representatives abroad4 ,our accomplished young countryman1 ,mr4 ,h4 ,s----1 though nominally ,secretary of ,legation1 was virtually our minister1 at ,st4 ,cloud1 when this order was published4 ,in simple compliance with his instructions1 the ,american secretary appeared at a court dinner in the suit of plain black1 prescribed by his government4 ,the premonitions of a revolution could scarcely have created more consternation among the officials of the ,tuileries1 and even the diplomatic dignitaries assembled1 experienced a sensation4 ,the ,turkish ambassador was surprised out of the usually imperturbable stoicism of a devout follower of the mighty prophet of ,moslemdom4 ,what are you doing here1 he growled1 as the young republican arrested his attention1 in language more remarkable for ,oriental figurativeness than for ,parisian elegance1 a raven among so many birds of gay plumage8 ,the newspaper writers of the day1 commenting upon this1 said that the minister from ,venezuela--the most insignificant government represented1 was most bedizened with gold lace1 stars1 and trumpery of every sort4 ,these letters1 prepared for home perusal1 were re-published in the ,paris papers1 and of course1 met the eyes of all the parties alluded to6 ,s---- told one of my friends that among the annoyances to which the whole affair subjected him1 was that of being subsequently constantly thrown in contact with the various personages with whose names his own had been1 without his previous knowledge1 unceremoniously1 associated4 ,no doubt1 however1 his skillful diplomacy carried him as triumphantly through this difficulty as through others of vital importance4 ,dining with this polished young diplomate1 at the ,tremont in ,boston1 where we met soon after his return home1 the conversation turned upon the personal appearance of ,louis ,napoleon1 and from his wire-drawn moustaches diverged to the subject of beards in general4 ,the truth is1 ,col4 ,lunettes1 said ,mr4 ,s----1 in ,french1--which by the way1 he both speaks and writes1 as he does his native tongue1 with great purity and propriety1 and this to our shame be it said1 is far enough from being generally the case with our various officials abroad1 the truth is1 ,col4 ,lunettes1 7,i detected a just perceptible glance at my furrowed cheek1 which was1 however1 smooth-shaven as his own7 that a clean face is getting to be the distinctive mark of a gentleman6 99 99 99 99 99 ,my dear ,miss ----1 said ,i to a charming woman1 whose cordial smile of recognition drew me within the magic circle of her influence1 at a ball1 where ,i had been for some little time a 'quiet looker-on1' will you pardon the temerity of an old friend in inquiring what induced your chilling reception of the handsome stranger whom ,i saw presented to you with such empressement by our host a little while ago8 ,if you could have seen the admiration with which he long regarded you at a distance1 'his eye in a fine frenzy rolling1'--as he leaned against the--the corner of the big fiddle1 there1 while the music was at supper6--could you have seen this1 as others saw it1 and then the look of deep desperation with which he swallowed a bottle of champagne at a standing1 when he fled from your frowns to the supper-room6--,really1 ,miss ----1 ,i have seldom had my sympathies so excited for a stranger-- ,by this time her ringing laugh stirred the blood into quicker pulsations through my time-steeled heart2 ,oh1 ,colonel1 ,colonel6 cried she1 in tones1 mirth-engendering as the silvery call of ,dian1 goddess of the dewy morn1 7is that poetry1 ,i wonder87 ,i see you are just as delightfully quizzical as during our ,alpine journey together4 ,i have never quite forgiven the ,fates for robbing our party of so inimitable a compagnon de voyage1 and me of--so devout an admirer6 ,i chimed in3 and me of so devout an admirer1 proceeded the lady1 with a quick spirit-flash in her deep violet eyes1 and when we were just becoming so well acquainted1 too6 ,it was too provoking6 ,do you remember the amusement we had from recalling the various characteristic exclamations of the different members of our party1 when the ,italian plains burst upon our view1 out-spread before us in the morning sunlight1 after that horrid night in the shepherd's hut8 ,if ,i recollect1 it was your avowed slave1 'gentleman ,john' as you called him1 who shouted1 ',o1 ye ,gods and little fishes6--nothing bad about that1 by thunder8' ,that fellow carried the ladies1 as he did everything else1 by storm-- ,no1 no1 ,colonel1 not all the ladies2 but ,i was going to tell you about this 'mysterious stranger1' or 'romantic stranger'--what sobriquet did you give him8 ,suppose we go nearer the door1 it is so warm here1 and she twined an arm that threw ,powers into a rapture1#b confidingly around the support proffered her by an old soldier1 and we gradually escaped from the crowd 7any one of the men would willingly have stillettoed me1 ,i dare say67 into a cool corner of the hall4 #b ,remind me to tell you about that some other time4 ,i am sorry you thought me rude1 colonel1 she began1 a tint1 soft as the shadow of a crimson rose flitting over her expressive face4 ,i entered a protest4 ,i dare say my manner was peculiar1 resumed my fair companion1 but ,i fear 'no rule of courtly grace to measured mood' will ever 'train' my face2 and--the truth is1 ,colonel1 that1 though ,i love and honor my own countrymen beyond the men of all other lands1 ,i do wish they would imitate well-bred foreigners in some respects4 ,i hate coxcombs6 ,i believe every woman does at heart4 ,now1 here is this person1 ,colonel ,c----1 ,i think1 if ,i heard the name8 ,wherefore ,colonel1 and of what8 thought ,i1 but ,i only answered--,really1 ,i am not able to say4 ,well1 at any rate1 ,i identified the man1 beyond a peradventure1 as the same individual who sufficed for my entertainment during a little journey from home to ,g----1 the other day4 ,as papa1 in his stately way1 you know1 committed me to the care of the conductor1 saying that ',miss ----'s friends would receive her at ,g----1' ,i observed 7luckily1 my fastidious father did not7 the broad stare with which a great bearded creature1 at a little distance from us1 turned round in his seat and surveyed us4 ,when ,i withdrew from the window1 from which ,i had looked to receive--to say good-bye1 again1 to papa-- ,i would have given--,i think ,i would have given--my ,lundy-,lane sword1 to have occasioned the momentary quiver in that musical voice1 and the love-light in that half-averted eye6 ,after a scarce perceptible pause1 the lovely narrator proceeded3 ,there was that huge moon-struck face--sun-struck1 perhaps8 ,i queried1 receiving a slight fan-pass for my pains--such a contrast to papa's6 staring straight at me1 still4 ,i busied myself with a book behind my veil1 and presently knew1 without looking1 that the gentleman had gradually returned to his former position4 ,now came my turn to scrutinize1 though the 'game was scarcely worth the powder4' ,spoken like the true daughter of a gentleman-sportsman6 ,i exclaimed1 and this time was rewarded with an irradiating smile4 ,well1 such a rolling about of that alderman-like figure1 such a buttoning and unbuttoning6 ,but this was all nothing to his steam-engine industry in the use of the 'weed4' ,i turned sick as ,i observed part of the shawl of a lady sitting before the creature hanging over near him4 ,after a while1 he sallied forth1 at one of the stopping-places1 and soon returned with--7expressive hue67--an immense green apple6 ,it seemed for a time likely to prove the apple of discord1 judging from the hungry glances cast at it by a long1 lank1 thinly-clad old man across the car4 ,but now came the 'tug of war4' ,it scarce required my woman's wit to divine the motive that had prompted the tasteful selection of the alderman's lunch4 ,a glove was pompously drawn off1 and--behold6 a great pate of a ring on the smallest1 ,i cannot truthfully say little-finger1 set with a huge red cornelian1 that looked for all the world like a cranberry-jam in a setting of puff-paste6 ,as the big apple slowly diminished under the greedy eyes of the venerable spectator of this rich ,tantalus-feast1 my heart melted with pity4 ,a well-affected look of surprise on the part of her auditor1 here claimed the attention of the fair speaker4 ,don't alarm yourself1 ,colonel6 ',pity 'tis1 'tis true1' my compassion was excited only towards the poor finger that1 stout as it looked1 must soon be worn to the bone1 if often compelled to do duty at the speed with which it was worked that day4 ,imagine the poor thing stuck straight out with that heavy stone pate upon it1 while the proprietor plied his hand from his mouth to the car-window behind him1 with the industrious regularity of a steam ferry-boat1 professedly laden with little bits of apple-skin1 but really intended--oh1 most flattering tribute to my discriminating powers6--to captivate my fancy1 through my eye6 ,when my amusement had somewhat subsided1 ,i said to my fair friend3 ,i suppose the doughty alderman finished his repast1 like ,jack the ,giant-killer1 by eating up the famishing old man who had the insolence to watch him while breakfasting8 ,i am happy to be able to say1 replied she1 that the long1 lean1 lanky representative of our fallen race1 not only escaped being thoroughly masticated and thrown by little handfuls out of the car-window1 but when ,jack the ,giant-killer1 and almost every one else had gone out of the car1 was presented by a lady with two nice large sandwiches that she happened not to need4 ,and that benevolent lady was---- ,a movement among the dancers here crowded several acquaintances into such close contact with us that we could not avoid overhearing their conversation4 ,do you know that large man1 wearing so much beard1 ,mr4 ,jerome8 ,know him8 certainly ,i do1 ,miss ,blakeman4 ,that's ,c----1 ,col4 ,c----1 the rich ,new ,york grocer4 ,he is one of the city aldermen--they talk of him for the legislature--quite a character1 ,i assure you4 ,he evidently thinks so himself1 rejoined one of the group2 just notice him in that polka6 ,i heard him telling a lady1 a moment ago1 that he had not missed a single set1 and wouldn't for anything4 ,they say1 pursued a lady1 that he is paying his addresses to that pretty little ,miss ,s----1 who was so much admired here1 last winter2 she is an orphan1 ,i think1 and quite an heiress4 ,a perceptible shiver ran through the clinging arm that still graced my own1 and as ,i moved away with my sweet charge1 she murmured1 in the musical tongue of the ,beautiful ,land1 as she ever calls ,italy1 the gentle dove for the vulture's mate6 99 99 99 99 99 ,will that do for this time1 boys8 ,or do you require that1 in imitation of the little ,grecian ,hunch-back1 a moral shall be appended to each of his narratives1 by your ,,uncle ,,hal4 ,p4 ,s4--,in accordance with my promise1 there follow the admirable directions and remarks of the elegant and obliging friend referred to in my previous letter4 ,he will1 ,i trust1 permit me thus to tender him1 renewedly1 my very grateful acknowledgment of his flattering politeness1 and to express my sense of the important addition made by his kindness to my unpretending epistles4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,my ,,dear ,,col4 ,,lunettes3 ,i regard myself as highly complimented that so distinguished a representative of the ancien regime1 as yourself1 one so entirely comme il faut1 as all admit1 in matters of taste1 should esteem my opinion1 even in regard to minor points of etiquette1 as worth his attention4 ,i need scarcely add1 dear sir1 an assurance of my conviction of the honor you do me by affording me a place in your remembrance1 and that ,i make no doubt your profound knowledge of the world1 united with your unusual opportunities for extensive observation--long un habitue de belle societe1 in various countries1 as you have been--will afford a rich treat1 as well as much instruction1 to those who may be favored with the perusal of your proposed ,letters4 ,that he may have the honor to be thus fortunate1 is the hope of1 dear sir1 ,your very respectful ,and obedient servant1 ---- ---- ,,belgravia1 ,tuesday ,morn41 ,may #fth1 '#ef4 ,,gentlemen',s ,,dress4--,the subject now to be treated of1 may be divided into several classes3--morning1 promenade or visiting1 and evening or ball dress2 which again may be subdivided into others1 such as riding-dress1 dress suitable for bachelors' dinner-parties1 or opera 7when unaccompanied by ladies74 ,besides these again1 we have dresses suitable for fishing1 shooting1 and yachting purposes1 which1 however1 scarcely call for1 or admit of1 the display of much taste1 inasmuch as the occupations for which such costumes are designed partake rather of the nature of healthy exercise than of that quiet and gentlemanly repose necessary to give full effect to the graces of the more elaborate toilette4 ,military1 ,naval1 and ,court dresses may also be considered out of the scope of the remarks in this letter1 because their being made scrupulously in accordance with rigid ,regulation ,rules1 leaves no room for taste1 but substitutes the dicta of official routine4 ,to commence our exemplifications with a ,wedding-,suit1 which1 from the wearer's approximate connection with the ladies deserves the pas--it may be remarked that the time of day in which the ceremony is solemnized should determine the character of the costume1 that is to say1 whether it should be morning or evening4 ,in either case1 however1 general usage allows 7not to say demands71 a more marked style than is generally worn in morning or evening usual wear4 ,should the wedding take place in the evening1 a very elegant costume is1 a dark claret dress-coat1 white ribbed-silk1 or moire antique1 waistcoat1 white silk neckcloth1 black trowsers1 silk stockings1 and shoes4 ,the lining of the sleeves1 also1 of white silk1 coming to the extreme edge of the cuff1 imparts a singularly light and elegant appearance to the hand and glove4 ,an equally elegant ,morning ,wedding-,dress might consist of a rich1 deep-brown frock-coat2 waistcoat of black cashmere1 with a small violet-colored palm-leaf figure2 neck-tie of silk1 combining colors of black and cherry1 or brown and deep blue2 trowsers of delicate drab1 or stone-color2 gloves primrose1 or slate-colored kid4 ,the usual ,evening-,dress is so imperiously insisted on1 that it might be almost classed in the category of uniforms1 being almost invariably composed of black coat1 vest1 and trowsers4 ,two items1 however1 in this costume1 admit of disquisition amongst men who dress1 viz41 the vest and the tie--both of which may be either white or black1 without any infraction of the laws of bienseance4 ,this1 therefore1 must be settled by the taste of the wearer1 who should remember that black1 having the effect of apparently diminishing a man's size1 and white that of increasing it1 it would1 therefore1 be judicious for a person of unusual size to tone down his extra bulk by favoring black in both these garments1 while he who is below the average standard could1 if not actually increase his height or size1 at least create the impression of more generous proportions4 ,i1 however1 must confess a decided partiality for a white neck-tie1 at least2 because1 although subject to the disadvantage of being de rigueur amongst waiters and other members of the ,yellow ,plush ,family1 it is1 nevertheless1 always considered unexceptionable1 at any season1 or hour1 in any rank1 profession1 or capacity4 ,a ,morning ,call should be made in a frock-coat1 or at least one in which this style predominates4 ,it must1 however1 be constantly borne in mind that it is quite impossible to furnish even general rules on any one of these points that shall prove immutable1 since not only each successive year1 but every varying season produces decided changes in the standard established by ,taste and ,fashion4 ,bachelors' ,dinner-parties are pleasant1 social reunions1 at which gentlemen enjoy themselves with more abandon than would1 perhaps1 be considered consistent with the quiet and more retired respect due to the presence of the beau sexe2 and1 as a natural consequence1 admit of a more neglige style of costume4 ,still1 however1 a certain regard must be had to the requirements of good society2 and as many of these parties1 when they break up1 adjourn to the opera1 or theatre1 where they are pretty sure to meet ladies of their acquaintance1 a costume half-way between morning and evening is1 by tacit agreement1 prescribed2 for instance3--a coat of some dark color 7generally termed medley-colored71 cut rounded over the hips2 black cap2 inner vest1 buttoning rather high in the breast2 dark-grey trowsers1 and black silk neckerchief1 or ribbed silk scarf4 ,instead of giving sketches of particular costumes1 it would1 perhaps1 be better and tend more to develop the importance of dress1 if a few remarks were made on the general rules which should guide one in selections for his own wear4 ,the four staple colors for men's wear1 are black1 blue1 brown1 and olive4 ,other colors1 such as drab1 grey1 mixed1 etc41 being so far as the principal garments go1 what are termed fancy colors1 should be very cautiously used4 ,as was remarked above1 black has the effect of diminishing size1 but it has another more important effect1 which is to test1 in the severest way1 the wearer's claims to a distinguished appearance4 ,it is a very high compliment to any man to tell him that black becomes him1 and it is probably owing to this property that black is chosen1 par excellence1 for evening or ball dress4 ,men1 therefore1 of average or ordinary pretensions to stylish contour1 should bear this in mind1 and1 when such color is not indispensable1 should be careful how far they depend on their own intrinsic dignity4 ,blue1 of almost any shade1 becomes a light complexion1 besides being an admirable set-off to black velvet1 which can1 in almost all cases1 be judiciously used in the collar1 in which case1 a lighter shade of blue 7also becoming such a complexion7 can be worn without killing 7as it is technically termed71 the darker shade of the coat--the velvet harmonizing both4 ,brown being what is termed a warm color1 is eminently adapted for fall and winter wear--olive and dark green1 for summer4 ,when ,beau ,brummel was asked what constituted a well-dressed man1 he replied1 ,good linen--plenty of it1 and country washing4 ,this1 perhaps1 is rather too primitive4 ,the almost equally short opinion of the ,french critic is decidedly more comprehensive--un homme bien coiffe1 et bien chausse1 peut se presenter partout4 ,under any circumstances1 however1 it may be laid down as immutable1 that the extremities are most important parts1 when considered as objects for dress1 and that a well appointed hat1 faultlessly-fitting gloves1 and immaculate boots1 are three essentials to a well-dressed man1 without which the otherwise best constituted dress will appear unfinished4 ,besides the necessity for the greatest care required in the selection of colors1 with regard to their harmonizing with each other1 and their general adaptation to the complexion or contour of the wearer1 there is another matter of the first importance1 and this is1 the cut4 ,of course1 everything should be sacrificed to perfect ease1 as any garment which pinches1 or incommodes the wearer1 will strongly militate against the easy deportment of even the most graceful1 and tend to give a contracted and constrained appearance4 ,every garment1 therefore1 should leave the wearer perfectly free and uncontrolled in every motion2 and1 having set out with this proviso1 the artiste may proceed to invest his work with all the minute and seemingly immaterial graces and touches1 which1 although scarcely to be remarked1 still impart an air or character1 which is unmistakable1 and is expressed in the ,french word chique4 ,wadding1 or stuffing1 should be avoided as much as possible4 ,a little may be judiciously used to round off the more salient points of an angular figure1 but when it is used for the purpose of creating an egregiously false impression of superior form1 it is simply snobbish4 ,some one has called hypocrisy the homage which vice pays to virtue4 ,wadding is the homage which snobbishness pays to symmetry6 ,a well-dressed man will never be the first to set a new fashion2 he will allow others to hazard the innovation1 and decline the questionable honor of being the first to advertise a novelty4 ,two lines of ,pope 7,i believe71 admirably illustrate the middle course3-- ,be not the first by whom the new is tried1 ,nor yet the last by whom 'tis set aside4 ,besides which he will find it far easier to become a critic than an author2 and as there is sure to be a vast number of men who greatly daring dress1 he will merely be at the trouble of discriminating which is worthy of selection or rejection2 he will thus verify the old saw1 that fools make feasts and wise men eat thereof1 and avoid1 by means of his own knowledge of the becoming1 the solecisms which are pretty certain to occur in a number of experiments4 ,,trinculo4 ,,letter ,,iii4 ,,manner4 ,,my ,,dear ,,nephews3 ,in the order of sequence adopted at the commencement of our correspondence1 the subject of manner comes next in succession4 ,it was the shrewd aphorism of one of the most profound observers of human nature that ,manner is something to all1 and everything to some4 ,as indicative of character1 which it undoubtedly is1 to a certain extent1 it is well worthy the attention of all youthful aspirants to the honors of the world4 ,and though1 like every other attribute1 it should bear indubitable murks of individuality1 care and attention1 before habit has rendered change and improvement difficult1 will enable every man to acquire that propriety and polish1 in this respect1 the advantages of which through life can scarcely be overrated4 ,it has been somewhat paradoxically said1 that the fashionable manner of the present day is no manner at all6 which means simply--that the manners of the best bred people are those that are least obtruded upon the notice of others1--those most quiet1 natural1 and unassuming4 ,there is1 however1 a possibility of carrying this modish manner to such an extreme as to make it the very height of affectation4 ,if ,talleyrand's favorite axiom admits of some qualification1 and language is not always used to conceal our ideas1 then should manner1 which is the natural adjunct that lends additional expressiveness to words1 be in a degree modified by circumstances--be individualized4 ,every approach to a rude1 noisy1 boisterous1 manner1 is reprehensible1 for the obvious reason that it interferes with the comfort1 and1 consequently1 with the rights of others2 but this is at a wide remove from the ultra-modishness that requires the total suppression of every manifestation of natural emotion1 and apparently1 aims to convert beings influenced by the motives1 feelings1 and principles that constitute humanity1 into mere moving automata6 ,in this1 as in too many similar matters1 ,americans are prone to excess4 ,because scenes are considered bad ton1 in good society abroad1 and because the warm-hearted hospitality of olden time sometimes took shape a little more impressingly and noisily than kindness required1 some of our fashionable imitators of ,european models move through the world like resuscitated ghosts1 and violate every law of good feeling in an endeavor to sustain at home a character for modish nonchalance6 ,now1 take it as a rule through life1 my young friends1 that all servile imitation degenerates into caricature1 and let your adoption and illustration of every part of your system of life be modified by circumstances1 and regulated by good sense and manly independence4 ,i need scarcely tell you that true politeness is not so much a thing of forms and ceremonies1 as of right feelings and nicety of perception4 ,the ,golden ,rule habitually illustrated in word and action1 would produce the most unexceptionable good breeding--politeness so cosmopolitan that it would be a passport to good society everywhere4 ,one of the most polished and celebrated of ,american authors has given us as fine and laconic a definition of politeness as ,i remember to have met with--,self-respect1 and a delicate regard for the rights and feelings of others4 ,the good breeding of a true gentleman is not an appendage put off and on at the dictate of caprice1 or interest1 it is essentially a part of himself--a constituent of his being1 as much as his sense of honesty or honor1 and its requirements are no more forgotten or violated than those of any other essential attribute of manhood4 ,you will all remember ,sir ,philip ,sidney's immortal action in presenting the cup of water to the dying soldier4 ,this was a spontaneous result of the habitual self-possession and self-restraint that form the basis of all true good breeding4 ,it is one of the most perfect exhibitions on record of the moral sublime2 but it was1 also1 only a legitimate result of the instinctive politeness of a ,christian gentleman6 ,manner1 then1 may be regarded as the expression of inherent qualities1 and though it must1 necessarily1 and should properly1 to some extent1 at least1 vary with the variations of character1 it may readily be rendered a more correct and effective exponent of existing characteristics of mind and heart1 by judicious and attentive training4 ,while true good breeding must1 from its very nature be1 as ,i have said1 in all persons and under every modification of circumstance substantially the same1 the proper mode of exemplifying it1 must1 with equal propriety1 be modified by the exercise of practical good sense and discrimination4 ,thus1 the laws of convention1--which1 as ,i have before remarked1 is but another name for the rules of politeness1 established and adhered to by well-bred people1 for mutual convenience--though in some respects as immutable as those of the ,medes and ,persians1 will always be adapted1 by persons of good sense1 to the mutations of circumstance and the inviolable requisitions of that higher law1 whose vital principle is kindness kindly expressed6 ,having now established general principles1 let us turn to the consideration of practical details4 ,there is1 perhaps1 no better test of good manners afforded by the intercourse of ordinary life1 than that of conduct towards superiors in age or station1 7,young ,america seems loth to admit that he has any superiors1 but we will venture to assume these premises74 ,the general-in-chief of the ,revolutionary ,army of ,america is well known to have always observed the most punctilious respect towards his mother1 in his personal intercourse with her1 as well as in every other relation of life4 ,my word for it1 he never spoke of her as the old woman2 nor could one of the youthful members of his military family have alluded1 in his hearing1 to a parent as the governor1 or the old governor1 without exciting the disapproving surprise of ,washington and his co-patriots4 ,and yet our young republic has known no more high-bred and polished men than those of that day1--the stately and elegant ,hancock1 even when broken by time and disease1 a graceful and punctilious observer of all the ceremonious courtesies of life2 the courtly ,carroll1 whose benignant urbanity was the very impersonation of a long line of old ,english gentlemen2 and the imposing stateliness of the commander-in-chief1 ever observant of the most minute details of propriety1 whether in the familiar intercourse of daily life1 or while conducting the most momentous affairs of his country4 ,but to return from this unpremeditated digression4 ,never let youthful levity1 or the example of others1 betray you into forgetfulness of the claims of your parents or elders1 to a certain deference4 ,depend upon it1 the preservation of a just self-respect demands this4 ,your historical studies will have furnished you with evidence of the respect habitually rendered to superiors by those nations of antiquity most celebrated for advancement in civilization2 and you will not have failed1 also1 to remark that nothing more surely heralded the decay of ancient empires than degeneracy in this regard4 ,next to the reverence ever due to parents1 may be ranked that which should be rendered to virtuous age1 irrespective of station or other outward attributes4 ,i should deem this instinctive with all right-minded young persons1 did ,i not so often1 in the street1 at church1 in social life1 in public places generally1 observe the manner in which elderly persons are1 apparently1 wholly overlooked4 ,here1 the universally-applicable law of kindness claims regard4 ,those of the pilgrims of earth1 whose feet are descending the narrowing vale that leads to the dim obscure unpenetrated by mortal eyes1 are easily pained by even the semblance of indifference or neglect4 ,they are sensitively alive to every intimation that their places in the busy arena of active life are already better filled by others2 that they are rather tolerated than essential4 ,those who are most worthy of regard are least likely to be insensible to such influences4 ,remember1 then1 that you should never run the race of life so fast as to encroach upon the established claims of your predecessors in the course4 ,nor would the most prematurely sage young man be entirely unbenefited1 it may be1 by availing himself occasionally of the accumulated experience1 erudition1 and knowledge of the world1 possessed by many a quiet old fogy1 whose unassuming manners1 modest self-respect1 and pure integrity present a just model to ,young ,america1 albeit1 perchance1 too old-fashioned to be deemed worthy of attention6 ,while the general proposition--that manner is1 to a considerable extent character in action1 is undoubtedly correct1 we occasionally see the exact converse painfully exemplified4 ,it sometimes occurs that the most amiable persons labor through life under the disadvantage of a diffident or awkward manner1 which does great injustice to their intrinsic excellences4 ,and this is but another evidence of the necessity of the earliest attention to this subject4 ,though no one should be discouraged in an endeavor to remedy the defects arising from neglect1 in this respect 7and1 indeed1 it may properly be considered as affording room for ceaseless advancement1 like every other portion of the earthly education of immortal beings71 few persons1 perhaps1 ever completely overcome the difficulties arising from inattention to this important branch of education1 while youthful pliancy renders the formation of habits comparatively easy4 ,the early acquisition of habits of self-possession and self-control1 will furnish the surest basis for the formation of correct manners4 ,with this should be united1 as far as is practicable1 constant association with well-educated and well-bred persons1 there is no friction like this to produce external polish1 nor can the most elaborate rules furnish an effectual substitute for the ease that practice alone secures4 ,lose no opportunity1 therefore1 for studiously observing the best living models1 not for the purpose of attempting an undiscriminating imitation of even the most perfect1 but1 as an original and gifted artist derives advantage from studying works of genius1 by the great masters of art1 to avail yourself of the matured knowledge resulting from experience4 99 99 99 99 99 ,but now for an exemplary anecdote or two3-- ,colonel ,lunettes1 do you know some gentleman going to ,u---- in this train8 inquired my friend ex-,governor ,t----1 extending his hand to me in the car-house of one of our western cities4 ,i wish to place a very pretty young lady under the care of some suitable person for a short time1 until she joins a party of friends4 ,really1 my dear sir1 ,i regret that ,i have just arrived1 returned ,i2 you tempt me to turn about and go over the ground again4 ,uncle ,t----1 there is ,h---- ,b---- just getting out of that car1 cried a young lady1 approaching us1 with two or three fair companions1 perhaps he is going on4 ,at this moment a young man1 in a dress that might have been that of the roughest back-woodsman1 approached the group4 ,he wore a very broad-brimmed1 coarse straw hat1 capable of serving the double purpose of umbrella and chapeau1 his hands were incased in strong gauntlet-gloves1 and he carried a large engineer's field-book under one arm4 ,removing his hat1 as he somewhat hesitatingly advanced1 and passing his hand over a beard of several days' growth1 glancing downward1 at the same time1 upon heavy-soled boots1 thickly encrusted with dry mud-- ,ladies1 said he1 ,i am too dirty to come near you2 ,i have been surveying in the swamps in this neighborhood for several days past1 camping out1 and jumped upon the cars a few miles back1 bound for my stationary quarters and--the blessings of civilization6 ,and1 with the color deepening in his sun-burnt face1 he bowed to us all1 with a grace that ,count d',orsay could scarcely have exceeded4 ,the youth was very cordially welcomed by his friends2 little ,kitty1 who is privileged to say anything1 declared she never saw him look so handsome2 and1 ,i confess1 that even my flinty old heart was favorably moved towards the young engineer4 ,i admired the good taste that dictated an explanation of the soiled condition of his clothes 7his thick linen shirt1 however1 was clean72 not an absurd apology for not being well-dressed1 and ,i liked his use of the good1 significant ,saxon word that most truthfully described his condition4 ,after an exchange of civilities1 turning respectfully to the governor1 he said3 ,governor ,t----1 can ,i be of any service8 ,you seemed to be looking for some one4 ,an explanation of the circumstances resulted in the resignation of his fair charge to the temporary care of this same toil-worn1 dirty young engineer1 by my friend1 who is himself one of the most fastidious and world-polished of men6 ,a few days after this trifling adventure1 ,i went1 by invitation1 to pass a day with my friend the ex-governor1 at his beautiful residence a little out of the city4 ,standing near one of the drawing-room windows1 just before dinner1 ,i observed a gentleman alighting from a carriage1 at the entrance of the mansion4 ,i was struck with his elegant air1 as he kissed his hand to some one who was1 like myself1 an observer on the occasion4 ,there is ,h---- ,b----6 exclaimed the joyous voice of pretty ,kitty1 the niece of my host1 and a little scrutiny1 while he was paying his compliments to the several members of the family1 enabled me to recognize in this graceful stranger the rough-looking youth ,i had previously seen at the depot4 ,but what a metamorphosis6 ,he now wore an entirely modish dinner-dress1 exquisitely tasteful in all its appointments2 his coat of the most faultless fit1 and boots that displayed a very small and handsome foot to admirable advantage4 ,i afterwards noticed1 too1 that camping out in the swamps had not1 apparently1 impaired the smoothness of the slender fingers and carefully-cut nails that came under my observation while listening1 in the course of the evening1 to the rich voice and guitar accompaniment of ,mr4 ,b----4 ,did ,mr4 ,b---- come out in a carriage8 inquired one of the ladies of the family1 in a low tone1 of my host1 near whom ,i was standing1 when arrangements were to be made for the return of the guests to town4 ,certainly he did1 answered the governor1 ,mr4 ,b---- is too much of a sybarite to heat himself by walking out here to dinner1 on such a day as this4 ,and too economical1 ,i have no doubt1 judging from his good sense in other respects1 ,i added1 to spoil a pair of costly dress boots in such service4 ,mrs4 ,m----1 one moment1 if you please1 said a voice behind us1 and ,mrs4 ,m---- 7who is the acting mistress of the mansion7 took the arm politely proffered her1 and stepped out upon the portico4 ,presently she returned-- ,uncle ,t----1 whispered she 7excuse me1 ,col4 ,lunettes71 ,john need not get up our carriage2 ,mr4 ,b---- has been so polite as to insist upon our sending the girls home in his1 saying that he really prefers to sit outside1 and that the carriage in which he drove out is to be here in a few minutes4 ,he happened to know that ,john has to be up with the lark1 about another matter1 remarked the host1 and---- ,how kind6 returned the lady2 but ,mr4 ,b---- does everything so agreeably that one does not know which to admire most--the charm of his manner1 or---- ,the good breeding1 from which it springs6 exclaimed the governor1 finishing the eulogy4 99 99 99 99 99 ,attending a lady from the dinner-table at the ,st4 ,nicholas1 in ,new ,york1 she begged me to wait with her for a few minutes1 near the passage conducting to the drawing-rooms1 saying1 playfully1 that she wished to way-lay a gentleman4 ,i have been all the morning1 she then explained1 trying to meet a ,russian friend of ours1 who is certainly staying here1 though we cannot succeed in seeing him4 ,my husband charged me1 before we parted this morning1 as he was obliged to go out of town for the day1 with a message for our friend1 which he said must be delivered by me in person4 ,ah1 there he is now6 and she advanced a step towards an elderly gentleman accompanying a lady4 ,i released her arm from mine1 of course1 and retired a little2 the other lady also simultaneously withdrawing4 ,i bowed respectfully to her4 ,have you ever chanced to remark this picture8 inquired the fair stranger of me1 as we stood thus near each other1 turning towards the painting of the patron saint of the ,knickerbockers1 which graced the main staircase of the hotel2 it is very appropriately selected4 ,nothing could be more unmistakably refined and high-bred than the bearing of the interlocutor1 while we chatted a moment or two longer4 ,i beg your pardon1 madam1 for depriving you of your cavalier2 nothing but necessity could excuse it--began the lady1 who had been talking earnestly in the meanwhile with the ,russian1 approaching us4 ,she was at once relieved from making further explanation4 ,pray don't name it--and allow me to renew my slight acquaintance with you1 offering her hand4 ,with pleasure1 returned my fair friend1 instantly2 but she looked a little puzzled1 despite her courtesy4 ,i see you do not recollect the weary traveller who was so much obliged to your politeness in the hotel in ,washington1 the other night4 ,the only stranger-lady 7turning to her attendant7 ,i have met in this country1 who has rendered me the slightest civility4 ,all this was1 of course1 quite unintelligible to me1 but later in the evening ,i had the honor of being introduced to these strangers1 and1 incidentally1 received a solution of the mystery4 ,while a pleasant party with which ,i had the good fortune to be associated1 was cozily gathered in one of the quiet little drawing-rooms of the ,st4 ,nicholas1 the conversation turned upon the difference of manners in different nations4 ,let me premise a brief explanation1 that you may the better understand what follows4 ,the ,russian gentleman1 whom ,i had seen in the passage1 is ,dr4 de ,h----1 a distinguished savant1 travelling in the service of his imperial master1 and the lady whom he was attending from dinner a ,frenchwoman of high birth and breeding4 ,my fair charge is the wife of an officer of our army1 who nearly lost his life in the late ,mexican war1 returning home covered alike with wounds and honors1 and with still ,i don't know how many bullets in his body1 as life-long tokens of his bravery4 ,his heroic young wife1 when she learned that he had landed at ,new ,orleans1 as soon after the conclusion of peace as his condition enabled him to be conveyed to the sea-board and make the voyage1 set out to join him at the ,south1 with an infant of only a few weeks old1 and herself in enfeebled health4--,they had been married but a short time1 when ,col4 ,v---- was ordered to the seat of war1 and the lady was a belle and a beauty1 of scarce nineteen--the cherished idol of wealth and affection4 ,these persons1 and one or two others were1 with myself1 seated1 as ,i have said1 cozily together for a little talk1 after dinner4 ,taking advantage of the temporary absence of ,mrs4 ,v----1 the ,frenchwoman1 turning to ,dr4 de ,h----1 said3 ,what a charming person6 ,i must tell you about my first meeting with her4 ,you know we are just returned from a little tour at the south of this country4 ,well1 at ,washington1 the other evening we have arrived1 my husband and ,i1 with my little daughter1 ,lorrette1 very tired and covered with dust1 at the hotel4 ,a friend had engaged apartments for us1 two or three days before1 but we were not conducted to them4 ,they led us into a sort of corridor1 where gentlemen and ladies were walking1 in dinner dress1 and left us to stand against the wall for some time4 ,at last ,victor told me to be patient1 and he would go and see4 ,i have thought ,i should fall down with fatigue and vexation1 and poor little ,lorrette leaned against me and was almost quite asleep4 ,at this moment1 a lady and gentleman who were sitting in a little alcove1 which was in the corridor1 observed us1 as ,i saw1 though ,i tried to turn myself from all4 ,they came immediately to us4 ,the gentleman brought a light chair in his hand4 ',madam1' said the gentleman1 'allow me to offer you a seat2 ,i am surprised that ,mr4 ,willard has no reception room for travellers4' ,before ,i could thank them1 properly1 the lady said1 seeing how ,lorrette had begun to cry1 ',do come and sit over there in the little recess2 there is a larger chair in which the little girl can lie down until you can get your rooms4 ,pray come'--and all this with such a sweet manner4 ,seeing that the gentleman was already looking for another chair to bring to us1 ,i went away with the lady2 saying1 however1 that ,i was so sad to come with her in this dress1 and to trouble her4 ,when we were in the little alcove1 almost by ourselves1 she placed ,lorrette on a little couch1 and forced me to sit on the only good chair1 saying that she preferred to stand a little1 and so many other polite1 kind words6 ,then1 while the gentleman talked a little with me1 she began to tell ,lorrette that her papa would soon take her to a nice supper1 and made her look1 when she was no longer so tired1 at some nice drawings of colored birds that her friend was showing her when they came to carry us to them4 ,you must picture to yourselves the animated gestures1 the expressive tones1 and the slight ,gallic accent that gave double significance to this little sketch1 to form a correct idea of the pleasing effect produced upon us all by the narration4 ,observing ,mrs4 ,v---- re-entering the room1 the charming ,frenchwoman only added1 enthusiastically3 ,really these were persons so agreeable1 that ,i could not forget them2 as ,i have told you to-day1 ,dr4 de ,h----1 it is the only stranger ,american lady who has ever been polite in our journey4 ,are the ladies of our country1 then1 so remiss in politeness8 said a young ,american lady present1 in a deprecatory tone4 ,i beg your pardon1 madam1 returned the foreigner1 the ,americans are the most kind-hearted people in the world1 but they do not say it6 it is the--manner6 ,i shall really begin to think1 said ,mrs4 ,v----1 that there is some other cause than my being a brunette for my being so often taken for a foreigner4 ,i am often asked whether ,i am from ,new ,orleans1 or of ,french extraction4 ,i am not surprised1 exclaimed ,dr4 de ,h----1 my friend ,sir ,c---- ,g----1 who saw you this morning1 asked me afterwards what country was you of8 ,why1 how was that8 ,he told me he had just given a servant1 that stupid old man in the hall1 the house-porter1 ,i believe you call him1 a card1 to take to some room1 when you met him1 and directed him to go to the office with a message2 but1 observing the card in his hand1 and that a gentleman stood there1 you immediately told him to go first with the card and you would wait for him4 ,here the silvery laugh of ,mrs4 ,v---- interrupted the ,russian4 ,excuse me1 said she1 ,i remember it6--that old porter1 who always makes a mistake1 if it is possible1 has so often annoyed me1 that this time ,i was determined1 as it was a person ,i much wished to see1 not to lose my visitor through him1 so1 after waiting some time in one of these rooms1 ,i went to him to inquire1 and sent him to the office1 when ,i found that my poor friend was waiting there1 while ,i waited here4 ,observing a gentleman who seemed already to have required his services1 ,i bade him go first for him1 of course4 ',apres vous1 madame1 je vous prie1'#c said he1 with the most courtly air2--so that was ,sir ,c---- ,g----8 #c ,after you are served1 madam1 ,i beg4 ,yes1 madam1 answered the savant1 but it was your air that was remarkable6 ,sir ,c---- told me that while you both were waiting there you addressed some polite remark to him1 pour passer le temps1 and that he thought you were not an ,american lady1 because you spoke to him6 ,speaking of not speaking1 said ,i1 when the general amusement had abated1 reminds me of an amusing little scene that ,i once witnessed in the public parlor of a ,new ,england tavern1 where ,i was compelled to wait several hours for a stage-coach4 ,presently there entered a bustling1 sprightly-looking little personage1 who1 after frisking about the room1 apparently upon a tour of inspection1 finally settled herself very comfortably in the large cushioned rocking-chair--the only one in the room--and was soon1 as ,i had no reason to doubt1 sound asleep4 ,it was not long1 however1 before a noise of some one entering aroused her1 and a tall1 gaunt old ,yankee woman1 hung round with countless bags1 bonnet-boxes1 and nondescript appendages of various sizes and kinds1 presented herself to our vision4 ,after slowly relieving herself of the numberless incumbrances that impeded her progress in life1 she turned to a young man who accompanied her1 and said1 in a tone so peculiarly shrill1 that it might have been mistaken1 at this day1 for a railroad whistle3 ',now1 ,jonathan1 don't let no grass grow under your feet while you go for them tooth-ache drops2 ,i am a'mos' crazy with pain6' laying a hand upon the affected spot as she spoke2 'and here1' she called out1 as the door was closing upon her messenger1 'just get my box filled at the same time6' diving1 with her disengaged hand1 into the unknown depths of1 seemingly1 the most capacious of pockets1 and bringing to light a shining black box1 of sufficient size to hold all the jewels of a modern belle1 ',i thought ,i brought along my snuff-bladder1 but ,i don't know where ,i put it1 my head is so stirred up4' ,by this time the little woman in the rocking-chair was fairly aroused1 and rising1 she courteously offered her seat to the stranger1 her accent at once betraying her claim to be ranked with the politest of nations 7a bow1 on my part1 to the fair foreigner in the group74 ,with a prolonged stare1 the old woman coolly ensconced herself in the vacated seat1 making not the slightest acknowledgment of the civility she had received4 ,presently1 she began to groan1 rocking herself furiously at the same time4 ,the former occupant of the stuffed chair1 who had retired to a window1 and perched herself in one of a long row of high wooden seats1 hurried to the sufferer4 ',i fear1 madame1' said she1 'that you suffare ver' much3--vat can ,i do for you8' ,the representative of ,yankeedom might have been a wooden clock-case for all the response she made to this amiable inquiry1 unless her rocking more furiously than ever might be construed into a reply4 ,the little ,frenchwoman1 apparently wholly unable to class so anomalous a specimen of humanity1 cautiously retreated4 ,before ,i was summoned away1 the tooth-ache drops and the snuff together 7both administered in large doses67 seemed to have gradually produced the effect of oil poured upon troubled waters4 ,the sprightly ,frenchwoman again ventured upon the theatre of action4 ',you find yourself now much improved1 madame8' she asked1 with considerable vivacity4 ,a very slight nod was the only answer4 ',and you feel dis fauteuil1 really ver' com-for-ta-ble8' pursued the little woman1 with augmented energy of voice4 ,another nod was just discernable4 ,no intonation of mine can do justice to the very ecstasy of impatience with which the pertinacious questioner now actually screamed out3 ',bien1 madame1 vil you say so1 if you please6' 99 99 99 99 99 ,i meant to repeat an impressive little story told us by my lovely friend1 ,mrs4 ,v----1 before our merry little party separated that night2 but1 even were this letter not already too long drawn out1 ,i find my head in very much the condition of that of the old ,yankee woman1 whom1 ,i trust1 ,i have immortalized1 and will1 therefore1 reserve it for another time1 hoping that you will pay me the compliment to recollect my description of my dramatis personae until then4 99 99 99 99 99 ,meanwhile1 here is one other anecdote for you3 ,during my usual morning ride1 one day lately1 ,i stopped to breathe my horse on the top of a little hill1 in the suburbs of one of the villages upon the banks of the ,hudson4 ,while enjoying the beauty of the fine landscape before me1 my horse1 all on a sudden1 started violently4 ,i presently discovered the cause of his fright4 ,some little rascals were at play in the unenclosed yard of an old building near1 and one of them was throwing lumps of earth1 pieces of broken crockery1 rusty sheet-iron1 etc41 upon the plank-walk in front4 ,as ,i turned my head towards them1 a little urchin who was perched upon a knob of the root of a tree1 with his hands upon his knees1 cried out1 energetically3 ,there now1 look-a there6 ,ain't you a pretty fellow8 dirtying up the walk so1 when people are going by4 ,his little freckled face expressed real concern1 as he looked fixedly up the walk4 ,glancing in the same direction1 ,i saw an elegantly-dressed lady carefully gathering up her dress1 preparatory to encountering the sharp obstacles in her path1 and at once understood the cause of the reproof ,i had overheard1 and which ,i assure you1 ,i have transcribed verbatim1 though the phrase pretty fellow may seem incongruous in the mouth of a dirty little ,irish boy4 ,i only hope the lady--whose gentle smile indicated that she too understood the scene--was compensated for being so incommoded1 by discerning the inbred politeness of her little champion4 99 99 99 99 99 ,as it is your desire that ,i should deal rather with practical realities than with generalities or theories1 let us come in my next1 without preliminaries1 to plain suggestions1 presented somewhat in detail1 with the usual simplicity and frankness of that plain1 blunt man1 ,your affectionate uncle ,,hal4 ,,letter ,,iv4 ,,manner ,,continued3--,,practical ,,directions4 ,,my ,,dear ,,nephews3 ,if ,i rightly remember1 ,i concluded my last letter to my young correspondents with a promise of attempting in my next1 some practical directions in regard to ,manner4 ,i will1 then1 commence1 at once premising only in the impressive words of the immortal senator1 who just at present holds so large a space in the world's eye3 ,in now opening this great matter1 ,i am not insensible to the austere demands of the occasion4 ,important as ,manner undoubtedly is1 in every relation of life1 the cultivation of an unexceptionable deportment at home1 may1 perhaps1 be regarded as of primary consequence1 in securing the happiness at which all aim1 though by means1 ----variable as the shade1 ,by the light1 quivering aspen made4 ,i think ,i have already incidentally alluded to the bad taste1 to give it no severer name1 so commonly exhibited by young persons in this country1 in their conduct towards parents4 ,let nothing tempt you1 ,i pray you1 into habits so discreditable4 ,manhood is never depreciated by any true estimate1 when yielding tribute to the claims of age4--,towards your father preserve always a deferential manner1 mingled with a certain frankness1 indicating that thorough confidence1 that entire understanding of each other1 which is the best guarantee of good sense in both1 and of inestimable value to every young man1 blessed with a right-minded parent4 ,accept the advice dictated by experience with respect1 receive even reproof without impatience of manner1 and hasten to prove afterwards1 that you cherish no resentful remembrance of what may even have seemed to you too great severity1 or too manifest an assumption of authority4 ,heed the counsel of an old man1 who through the loop-holes of retreat looks calmly on the busy tide of life rolling forever onward1 and let the sod that closes over the heart that throbs no more even with affection and anxiety for you1 leave for you only the pain of parting--not the haunting demon of remorse4 ,allow no false pride1 no constitutional obstinacy1 to interfere with the better impulses of your nature1 in your intercourse with your father1 or to interrupt for an hour the manly trust that should be between you4 ,and in the inner temple of home1 as well as when the world looks on1 render him reverence due4 ,there should be mingled with the habitual deference and attention that marks your manner to your mother1 the indescribable tenderness and rendering back of care and watchfulness that betokens remembrance of her love in earlier days4 ,no other woman should ever induce you to forget this truest1 most disinterested friend1 nor should your manner ever indicate even momentary indifference to her wishes or her affection4 ,permit me again to refer you to the example of our country's pride in this regard4 ,you will all remember his marked attention1 through life1 to his only parent1 and the fact that his first appearance in public1 on a festive occasion1 after the triumph of ,yorkstown1 was in attendance upon his mother at the ball given at ,fredericksburgh1 in celebration of that event4 ,a fair friend of mine1 who has written the most enthusiastically-appreciative description of this memorable scene that ,i remember to have read1 characterizes the manner of ,washington as illustrating the moral sublime1 to a degree that filled all beholders with admiration4 ,but no one needs the examples of history1 or the promptings of friendship1 to convince him of a duty to which the impulses of nature unmistakably direct him3 all that ,i1 for a moment1 suppose you require1 is to be reminded that no thoughtlessness should permit your manner to do injustice to your feelings1 in this sacred relation of life4 ,the familiarity of domestic intercourse should never degenerate into a rude disregard for the restraints imposed by refinement1 nor an unfeeling indifference to the feelings of others4 ,with brothers and sisters even1 the sense of equality should be tempered by habitual self-restraint and courtesy4 ,no man is great to his valet de chambre--no man grows1 by the superior gifts of nature1 or by the power of circumstance1 beyond the genial familiarity of domestic intercourse4 ,you may be older and wiser than your brothers1 but no prerogatives of birthright1 of education1 or of intellect can excuse assumption1 or make amends for the rupture of the natural tie that is best strengthened by affectionate consideration and respect4 ,to his sisters1 every man owes a peculiar obligation arising from the claim nature gives them to his protection1 as well as to his love and sympathy4 ,nor is this relative claim wholly abrogated even by their being older than he4 ,the attributes and the admitted rights of our sex give even younger brothers the privilege1--and such every well constituted man will consider it1--of assuming towards such relations the position of a friend1 confidant and guardian4 ,and the manner of a gentleman will always indicate1 unmistakably1 the delicacy1 the consideration and the respect he considers due to them4 ,i will not assume the possibility of your being indifferent to their love and interest2 suffice it to say1 that both will be best deserved and preserved by a careful admingling of the observances of politeness practised towards other women1 with the playful freedom sanctioned by consanguinity4 ,the world will give you no substitutes for the friends nature provides--they are bound to you by all ties unitedly4 ,be ever mindful that no rude touch of yours1 sunders or even weakens the tenderest chords of the heart4 ,since ----modest the manners by ,nature bestowed ,on ,nature's most exquisite child1 a man's conduct towards his wife should always indicate respect as well as politeness4 ,no rude familiarity should outrage the delicacy that veils femininity1 no outward indifference or neglect betoken disregard of the sacred claims of the woman1 whom1 next to his mother1 every man is bound in honor1 to distinguish beyond all others1 by courteous observance4 ,if you consider the affection you doubtless took some pains1 originally1 to win1 worth preserving1 if you think it of any moment to retain the attributes ascribed to you by the object of that affection1 while you made the endeavor to do full justice to yourself in the eyes of your mistress1#d would it be wise to prefer no further claims to such characteristics by your manner to your wife8 ,i have never forgotten the impression made upon me in youth by an exquisite letter in one of ,addison's ,spectators1 purporting to be written by an old woman1 in regard1 if ,i remember1 to the very point we are now discussing4 ,it contains1 as inclosed to the ,solon of polite laws in that day1 a note represented to have been written to her1 by the husband of the lady1 from a ,london coffee-house1 upon some emergency1 which is the very embodiment of gentle courtesy1 and concluding with a respectful apology for the coarse paper1 and other unseemly appliances of the communication4 ,could you see the withered hand that indites this1 dear ,mr4 ,spectator1 says the correspondent of ,addison1 you would be still more impressed by the gallantry that remains thus unimpaired by time1 or words to that effect4 ,i have not the original to transcribe from1 and the copy in my mental tablets is a little dimmed by the wear of years4 ,but though the exact phraseology of the number ,i allude to is indistinct1 ,i repeat that ,i have a thousand times recalled the substance with the same pure pleasure and admiration4 ,i have not half done justice to it1 and1 indeed1 ,i am almost ashamed to have so poorly sketched a picture whose beauty you may best appreciate by personal inspection4 ,no tyro should attempt a copy of the production of an old master--especially when the mental magician fails to place the original before his mind's eye1 ,pictured fair1 in memory's mystic glass4 ,but if you do not despise such old-fashioned literature as the writings of the ,english classic authors--and certainly1 without undue prejudice in their favor1 ,i may venture1 ,i think1 to say1 that a knowledge of the writings of such men as ,johnson1 ,goldsmith1 ,burke1 and ,addison1 should make part of the education of every gentleman--if you will look up this elegant essay1 and read it for yourselves1 ,i can safely promise you ample remuneration for your trouble4 #d ,i shall take the liberty to use the word mistress1 throughout these letters1 in the sense appropriated to it by ,addison1 ,johnson1 and other ,english classic authors4 ,sweetheart is too old-fashioned4 ,lady-love suits the style of my fashionable nieces1 better than mine4 ,mistress is an authorized ,saxon word1 of well-defined meaning1 though1 like some others1 perverted to a bad use1 at times4 ,do not degrade your own ideal by a too minute scrutiny1 nor forget that the shrine of the ,lares1 though it may be approached with the simplest offerings1 is desecrated by even a momentary forgetfulness that its votaries should be ,content to dwell in decencies1 forever6 ,the chosen friend of your life1 the presiding genius of your home1 the mother of your children1 then1 not only claims the high place of trust and confidence1 but the proof afforded by manner of the existence and dominance of these sentiments4 ,many men1 with the kindest feelings and the clearest perceptions of duty1 are1 from mere inadvertency1 unobservant of the fact that they habitually give pain to those dependent on them for consideration1 by neglecting those graces of manner that lend a charm to the most trifling actions4 ,remember1 while you are forming habits1 in this respect1 how sensitively constituted are the gentler sex1 how easily pained1 how easily pleased4 ,the more discriminating and affectionate is woman1 the more readily is she wounded4 ,like a harp of a thousand strings1 her nature1 if rudely approached1 is jarred responsively1 while the gentlest touch elicits an harmonious thrill4 ,the delightful abandon that constitutes one of the most exquisite enjoyments of home1 is not augmented1 for a man of true refinement1 by a total disregard of ceremony and self-restraint4 ,selfishness1 ill-humor1 and a spirit of petty tyranny1 rest assured1 though their manifestation be confined to home intercourse1 and borne in silence there1 will gradually undermine character and essentially diminish domestic happiness4 ,earnestly1 therefore1 do ,i admonish my youthful relatives to cultivate a careful observance of the requisitions of what has been well designated as domestic politeness4 ,confer favors with ready cheerfulness1 or1 if necessary1 refuse them with an expression of regret1 or a polite explanation4 ,never repel solicitations1 much less caresses1 with impatience1 nor allow your bearing to indicate the reluctant discharge of a duty that should also be a pleasure4 ,a smile1 an intonation of affection1 a glance of appreciation or acknowledgment--small artillery all1 ,i grant1 my boys1 but they will suffice to make a feu-de-joie in a loving heart1 that will1 each and every one of them1 cause you to be followed in the thorny path of daily life by a blessing that will not harm you2 they will secure you a welcome1 when1 world-worn1 you shall 'homeward plod your weary way1' worth all the gold you have gathered1 and well rewarding all the toil you have encountered4 ,i will only add1 in this connection1 that manhood is ennobled by the habitual exercise of delicate forbearance towards helplessness and dependence1 and that a high test of character is the right use of power4 ,those1 then1 whom nature teaches to look to you for affection1 as well as for care and protection--your mother1 wife1 sisters--should invariably derive from your manner evidence of the steadfastness of your interest and regard for them4 ,like most of the aphorisms of the ancients for subtle wisdom1 is the saying1 ,we should reverence the presence of children4 ,fresh from the creating hand of ,deity1 they are committed to us4 ,while yet unstained by the pollutions of the world1 should we not render a certain homage to their pristine purity and innocence8 ,should we not hesitate by exhibitions of such qualities of our nature as are happily still dormant in them1 to force them into precocious development8 ,the silent teaching of example tells most effectively upon the young for the reason that they are insensibly forming in imitation of the models before them1 without the disadvantages of previous habit1 or of diminished impressibility4 ,it is no light sin1 then1 either in our manner towards them1 or towards others in their presence1 to obtrude a false standard of propriety upon their notice4 ,if manner be1 as we have assumed1 active manifestation of character1 the ductile minds of these nice observers and ceaseless imitators must be indeed seriously under its influences4 ,that careful study of individual peculiarities which paternal duty imperatively demands1 will readily suggest the proper modification of manner demanded by each different child in a household4 ,it is said that children are never mistaken judges of character4 ,certain it is1 at least1 that they instinctively discern their true friends1 and that of the ,kingdom of ,heaven1 as by divine assertion they are--the ,law of ,love1 attempered in its administration by practical good sense1 is the most effective influence that can be brought to bear upon them4 ,permit me to recall to your remembrance the tenderness that distinguished the manner of ,christ towards little children4 ,pre-supposing as ,i have done1 thus far in this letter1 and as ,i shall continue to do1 throughout our correspondence1 that you regard moral obligation as the grand incentive to the correct discipline even of the outer man1 arrogating to myself only the office of the lapidary1--that of endeavoring to polish1 not create1 the priceless jewel of principle1 ,i shall make no apology for the suggestion1 that manner should not be regarded as beneath the attention of a ,christian gentleman1 in his intercourse with such inmates of his household as may from any circumstance be peculiarly sensitive to indications of negligent observance4 ,the aged1 the infirm1 the insignificant1 the dependent2 all1 in short1 who are particularly afflicted in mind1 body1 or estate1 are suitable recipients of the most expressive courtesies of manner4 ,perhaps no single phase of manner at home more correctly illustrates nice mental and moral perceptions than the treatment of servants and inferiors generally4 ,one may be just to the primary obligations evolved by this relation to others1 and yet always receive the service of fear rather than of affection4 ,all needless assumption of authority or superiority1 in connection with this position1 is indicative of inherent vulgarity1 and is at as great a remove from a true standard as is undue familiarity4 ,never to manifest pleasure even by a smile1 never to make an acknowledgment in words1 of the kindly offices that money cannot adequately reward1 may be very grand and stately1 but such sublime elevation above one's fellow-creatures raises the heart to rather an ,alpine attitude--to a height at which the milk of human kindness even1 may congeal6 ,always accept voluntary service with the slight acknowledgment that suffices to indicate your consciousness of it1 nor deem it unworthy of one pilgrim upon the great highway of life to cheer another upon whom the toil and burden falls heaviest1 by a smile or a word of encouragement4 ,the language of request is1 as a rule1 in better taste than that of command1 and1 in most instances1 elicits more ready1 as well as cheerful obedience4 ,scott makes ,queen ,elizabeth say1 on a momentous occasion1 ,sussex1 ,i entreat2 ,leicester1 ,i command6 ,but1 adds the author1 the entreaty sounded like a command1 and the command was uttered in a tone of entreaty4 ,can you make only a lesson in elocution out of this2 or will it also illustrate our present theme8 ,few persons who have not had their attention called to this subject1 have any just conception of the real benefits that may be conferred upon those beneath us in station by a pleasant word uttered in a pleasant tone4 ,like animals and young children1 uneducated persons are peculiarly susceptible to all external influences4 ,they are easily amused1 easily gratified--shall ,i add1 easily satisfied1 mentally8 ,the comparatively vacant mind readily admits an impression from without2 hence1 he who whistles for want of thought1 will whistle more cheerily for the introduction of an agreeable remembrance1 into the unfurnished chambers of imagery1 and the humble plodder who relieves us of a portion of the dead weight that oppresses humanity1 will go on his way rejoicing2 ofttimes for many a weary mile1 impelled by a single word of encouragement from his superior officer in the ,grand ,army of life4 ,but ,i hear you say1 ,uncle ,hal grows military--'the ruling passion strong' even in letter-writing4 ,like the dying ,napoleon1 his last words will be ',tete d',armee6'--,well1 well1 boys6 pardon an old man's diffuseness6--his twilight dullness6 ,there are occasions when to talk to servants and other employes1 make part of a humane bearing towards them4 ,to converse with them in relation to their affairs rather than our own1 is the wiser course1 and to mingle a little appropriate instruction withal1 may not be amiss4 ,remember1 too1 how easily undisciplined persons are frightened by an imperious1 or otherwise injudicious1 manner on the part of their superiors1 out of the self-possession essential to their comprehension of our wants and language4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i believe even the ,american author who has long concentrated his mental energies in elaborating the literary apotheosis of ,napoleon le ,grand1 has not ascribed to his idol excessive refinement of manner4 ,his attempts at playfulness always degenerated into buffoonery1 and his habitual bearing towards women1 in whatever relation they stood to him1 was unmistakable evidence of his utter want of nicety of perception on this point4 ,holding a reception1 on one occasion1 in a gallery of the ,tuileries for his relatives1 his mother was present1 with others of his family4 ,the emperor proffered his hand to each in turn to kiss4 ,last of all1 his venerable parent approached him4 ,as before1 he proffered his hand4 ,with an air worthy of the severe dignity of a matron of early ,grecian days1 ,madame ,mere waved it aside1 and1 extending her own1 said1 ,you are the king1 the emperor1 of all the rest1 but you are my son6 ,would a man imbued with ,the fair humanities of old religion have needed such a rebuke1 from such a source1 think you8 ,bonaparte was quite as stringent in his enforcement of court rules1 in regard to dress and all matters of detail1 as ,louis ,,xiv4 himself1 and often quite as absurd as the ,grand ,monarque in his requisitions4--,abruptly approaching a high-born lady of the old regime1 one of the members of ,josephine's household1 who from illness 7and1 perhaps1 disgust commingled7 had disobeyed an edict commanding full dress at an early hour on a particular morning1 as she leaned against a window in this same gallery of the ,tuileries1 the ,first ,consul contemptuously kicked aside her train1 at the same time addressing the wearer in an outburst of coarse vituperation4 ,madame ,junot records a characteristic illustration of ,napoleon's unmanly disregard of the constitutional timidity of his first wife1 as well as of his manner towards her in general4 ,as they were about to cross a turbulent stream upon an insecure-looking bridge1 in a carriage1 the ,empress expressed a wish to alight4 ,napoleon forcibly interfered1 but permitted the fair narrator of the incident1 who was in the carriage with them1 to do so1 upon her informing him with the naivete of a true ,french-woman1 that there was a special reason for her avoiding a fright6 ,josephine wept in helpless terror1 even when the ordeal was safely passed4 ,by-and-by1 the whole cortege stopped1 and every one alighted2 the imperial tyrant rudely seizing the empress by the arm1 dragged her towards the destination of the party1 in a neighboring wood1 saying1 as he urged her forward3 ,you look ugly when you cry6 ,one of ,napoleon's biographers has said of him that many passages in his letters to ,josephine were such as no decent ,englishman would address to his 'lady light o' love1' and it is well known that his earliest intercourse with the proud daughter of the ,house of ,hapsburg--the shrinking representative of the hereditary refinement of a long line of high-bred women--was marked by the merest brutality4 ,it was left to a citizen of our ,republic to discover1 in the year of our ,lord one thousand1 eight hundred and fifty-five1 that this man was the ,washington of ,france6 and to communicate the marvellous fact to the present occupant of the imperial throne of the ,great ,captain--who is1 by the way1 the grandson of the repudiated ,josephine6 99 99 99 99 99 ,steaming along the ,ohio1 some years ago1 ,i had the good-fortune to fall in with the most agreeable companions1 a father and son1 ,kentuckians1 of education and good-breeding4 ,the father had won high public honors in his native ,state1 and the son was just entering upon a career demanding the full exercise of his fine natural gifts4 ,i was particularly attracted by the cordial confidence and affection these gentlemen manifested towards each other1 and by the manly deference rendered by the youth to his venerable sire4 ,a storm drove us all into the cabin1 in the evening1 and1 while the elder of my two new friends and ,i pursued a quiet conversation in one part of the room1 his son joined a group of young men at some distance from us4 ,gradually the mirth of those youngsters became so roisterous as to disturb our talk4 ,hot and hotter waged their sport1 loud and louder grew their laughter1 until our voices were fairly drowned1 at intervals4 ,more than once1 ,i saw the punctilious gentleman of the old school glance towards the merry party1 of which1 by the way1 his son was one of the least boisterous4 ,at length he spoke1 and his clear1 calm voice rang like a trumpet-note through the apartment3 ,frederick6--there was an instant lull in the storm1 and the faces of each of the group turned to us--make a little less noise1 if you please4 ,the youth rose immediately and advanced towards us3 ,gentlemen1 said he1 with a heightened color and a respectful bow1 ,i beg your pardon6 ,i really was not aware of being so rude4 ,i said something about the very natural buoyancy of youthful spirits2 but ,i did not say that this little scene had the effect upon me that might be produced by unexpectedly meeting1 in the log-hut of a back-woodsman1 with a painting by an old master1 representing some fine incident of classical or chivalrous history--as1 for instance1 the youthful ,roman restoring the beautiful virgin prisoner to her friends with the words1 far be it from ,scipio to purchase pleasure at the expense of virtue6 ,my pleasure in observing the intercourse of these amiable relatives in some degree prepared me for the enjoyment in store for the favored guest1 who1 at the earnest instance of both father and son1 a few days afterwards1 turned aside in his journey to seek them1 at home4 ,it was a scene worthy the taste and the pen of ,washington ,irving himself1 that quaint-looking old family mansion1--in the internal arrangements of which there was just enough of modern comfort and adornment to typify the softened conservatism of the host1--and the family group that welcomed the stranger1 with almost patriarchal simplicity and hospitality4 ,really it was a strange episode in busy ,american life4 ,my venerable friend sat1 indeed1 under the shadow of his own vine and fig-tree1 with none to make him afraid1 reaping the legitimate reward of an honorable1 well-spent life1 and beside him the friend who had kept her place through the heat and burden of the day1 and now shared the serene repose of the evening of his life4 ,what placid beauty still lingered in that matron face1 what dignity and love marked every action6 ,and the fair daughters of the house1 who1 like ,desdemona1 ever and anon would come again and gather up our discourse1 in the intervals of household duty1 or social obligation--they seemed to vie with each other and with their brother in every thoughtful and graceful observance towards their parents and towards me1 and the noble boy--for he really was scarcely more1 even reckoned by the estimate of this fast age--unspoiled by the dangerous prerogatives of an only son1 manifestly regarded the bright young band of which he still made one1 with the mingled tenderness and pride that would ever shield them from ,the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune4 ,these all surrounded my venerable host and hostess1 as they gently and calmly turned their feet towards the downward path of life1 with intertwining hearts and hands--like a garland of roses enwreathing time-worn twin-trees--ever on the watch to lighten each burden they would fain have wholly assumed1 and with loving care striving to put far off for them the evil day when the grasshopper shall be a burden4 ,but ,i essay a vain task when ,i would picture such a scene for you1 my friends4 ,if ,i may hope that ,i have made a study1 from which you will catch a passing suggestion for future use1 in the limning of your own life-portraits1 it is well4 99 99 99 99 99 ,chancellor ,k----1 who was my life-long friend1 retained1 even in the latest years of his lengthened life1 an almost youthful sprightliness of feeling and manner4 ,his son1 himself a learned and distinguished son of the law1 thought no duty more imperative1 even in the prime of his manhood and in mid career in his honorable profession1 than that of devotion to his father1 in his declining years4 ,he fixed his residence near1 or with1 his venerable parent1 and1 like the son of ancient ,priam1 long sustained the failing steps of age4 ,few things have impressed me more favorably1 in my intercourse with the world1 than this noble self-sacrifice4 ,no one unacquainted with my vivacious friend can appreciate the full expressiveness of his characteristic remark to me1 on an occasion when his son happened to be the theme of conversation between us4 ,i like that young man amazingly6 said the chancellor4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i still remember the impression made on me1 when a boy1 by meeting1 in the streets of my native city1 a stalwart young sailor1 arrayed in holiday dress1 and walking with his mother1 a little1 withered old woman1 in a decent black dress1 hanging upon his arm4 ,how often that powerful form1 the impersonation of youth1 health1 and physical activity1 has risen up before my mind's eye1 in contrast with the little1 tremulous figure he supported with such watchful care1 and upon which such protecting tenderness breathed from every feature of his honest1 weather-embrowned face4 99 99 99 99 99 ,bob and ,charley grew side by side1 like two fine young saplings in a wood1 for some years4 ,after awhile1 however1 the brothers were separated4 ,bob went to a large city1 became a merchant1 grew rich1 lived in a fine house1 was a ,bank ,director1 and an ,alderman4 ,his younger brother1 pursuing a more modest1 but equally manly and elevated career1 seldom met ,bob during some years1 and then only briefly at their father's house1 when there was a family gathering at ,thanksgiving1 or on some other similar occasion4 ,once1 when ,i chanced to see these young men together1 thus1 ,i remarked that1 while the sisters of each clung round the neck of the unassuming1 but true-hearted1 right-minded ,charley1 at his coming1 and lost no opportunity of being with him1 the repellant manner of the elder brother held all more or less aloof1 though none failed in polite observance towards him4 ,egotistical and pompous1 he seemed to regard those about him as belonging to an inferior race4 ,as his brother and ,i sat talking together near a table upon which were refreshments1 he actually had the rudeness to reach between us for a glass1 without the slightest word or token of apology1 with his arm so near to his brother's face as almost to touch it6 ,there was more of shame than indignation expressed in that fine1 ingenuous countenance when it again met my unobstructed gaze1 and ,i thought ,i detected a slight tremor in the sentence he uttered next in the order of our conversation4 ,before my visit that day was at an end1 ,i found myself exceedingly embarrassed as an unwilling auditor of a political discussion between ,bob and his father1 which grew1 at length1 into an angry dispute1 little creditable to1 at least1 the younger of the two word-combatants4 ,as ,i stood in the hall that night1 awaiting my carriage1 ,i saw ,charley advance to the door of the library1 opening near1 and knock lightly4 ,the voice of his aged father bade him enter4 ,opening the door1 the young man1 taking his hat quite off1 and bowing almost reverentially1 said only1 ,i bid you good night1 sir1 and quietly closed it again4 ,when they turned towards me1 there was almost a woman's softness in eyes that would have looked undimmed upon the fiercest foe or the deadliest peril4--,think you the ,recording ,angel flew up to ,heaven's high ,chancery with a testimony of that day's deeds and words8 ,once1 after this1 ,charley had occasion to visit the city where ,bob resided4 ,breakfast over1 at his hotel1 he sallied forth to call on ,bob1 at his own house1 and attend1 subsequently1 to other matters4 ,he was shown into an elegant drawing-room1 where the master of the mansion sat reading a newspaper4 ,without rising1 he offered his hand1 coldly1 and before inviting his visitor to sit1 took occasion to say that his wife's having an engagement to spend the day out of town would prevent his inviting his brother to dine6 ,as ,charley descended the steps of his brother's stately mansion1 at the termination of his brief call that day1 he silently registered a vow never again to cross his threshold1 unless impelled by imperative duty4 ,and yet ,bob is not only a rich merchant1 an ,alderman1 and a ,bank ,director1 but a man of fashion6 99 99 99 99 99 ,one of the most discriminating and truthful delineators of life and manners whom we boast among our native authors1 prominent among the characteristic traits he ascribes to an old ,english gentleman1 of whom he gives us an exquisite portraiture1 is that of such considerate kindness towards an old servant as to make him endure his peevishness and obstinacy with good humor1 and affect to consult and agree with him1 until he gains an important practical point with time-honored age4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illustrative of our subject is one of the anecdotes recorded of the poet ,rogers1 in his recently published life3 ,mr4 ,rogers1 said the body-servant1 who had long attended him in his helpless years1 we are invited to dine with ,miss ,coutts4 ,the italicizing is mine4 ,is it not suggestive8 ,you remember the rest of the anecdote2 ,rogers had the habit1 during the latter years of his life1 of writing1 when able to use his pen1 notes to be dated and directed as occasion required1 in this established form ,pity me1 ,i am engaged4 ,so1 on this occasion1 the careful attendant added3 ,the pity-me's are all gone6 99 99 99 99 99 ,weather-bound during the long1 cold winter of #ah--1 by a protracted snow-storm and a severe cold1 in the house of an old friend1 ,i left my comfortable private quarters one morning for a little walk up and down the corridor into which my own apartment and those of the family opened4 ,by and by the active step of my hostess crossed my sauntering way4 ,perhaps it may amuse you to come into the nursery1 a little while1 colonel1 said she1 it will be a novelty1 at least1 to you1 to see behind the scenes4 ,i feel myself honored by the permission1 ,i assure you2 the green-room always has an interest for me6 returned ,i2 and ,i was soon ensconced in a large1 cushioned-chair1 in a cozy corner1 near the open1 old-fashioned franklin in which blazed a cheerful wood-fire4 ,the rosy-cheeked juveniles among whom ,i found myself vied with each other in efforts to promote my comfort4 ,one brought her own little chair1 and placed it to support my feet2 another climbed up and stuffed a soft cushion greatly larger than his own rotund1 dumpling of a figure1 between me and the chair-back1 assuring me with a grave shake of the head1 in which ,i saw the future ,esculapius1 it is so nice ven your head do ache--mamma say so1 ven ,i put him on her always6 and bright-eyed little ,bessie1 between whom and me a very good understanding already existed1 crowned the varied hospitalities of my initiatory visit by offering me the use of her tiny muff6 ,my hostess1 though she kept an observant eye upon us1 from her seat by her work-table over against my arm-chair1 had too much tact to interfere with the proceedings of my ministering cherubs2 except to prevent the possibility of my being annoyed4 ,when ,i had leisure to reconnoitre a little1 ,i discovered1 among the other fixtures in the large1 well-lighted1 cheerful-looking apartment1 an old woman with a good-humored face and portly person1 seated near a window1 sewing1 with a large1 well-stored basket of unmended linen and hosiery before her4 ,presently1 the eldest son1 a fine manly boy of some sixteen years entered1 hat and cane in hand4 ,used1 ,i suppose1 to a jumble of faces and forms1 in this human kaleidoscope1 he evidently did not observe the quiet figure in the high-backed chair4 ,mother1 he exclaimed in a tone in which boyish animation and the utmost affection were singularly united1 striding across the room1 like the ,colossus of ,rhodes1 suddenly endued with powers of locomotion3 ,mother1 you are the most beautiful and irresistible of your beautiful and irresistible sex6 and stooping1 he pressed his full1 cherry lips gently upon her rounded cheek4 ,a flash of amusement1 mingled with the love-light in the soft eyes that met those of the boy4 ,he turned quickly4 ,a scarcely-discernible embarrassment of manner1 and a quick flush in the bright young face1 were all that ,i had time to note1 before he was at my side with a cordial greeting and a playful welcome to ,mother's ,land of ,promise4 ,land of ,nod1 say rather1 replied the presiding genius of the scene1 pointing to the quiescent form of little ,bessie1 who--her curly head pillowed on her chubby arm--was just losing all consciousness of the world1 upon the rug at her mother's feet4 ,george1 what an armful6 said the youth1 in a sort of half undertone1 as he tenderly lifted the little lay figure1 and bore it to a crib4 ,don't get up1 mother1 ,i can cover her nicely4 ,i say1 mammy an arch glance over his shoulder towards the ancient matron of the sewing-basket1 how heavy bread and milk is1 though1 eh6 ,speaking of bread and milk1 here comes lunch1 continued my hero for the nonce1 rubbing his hands energetically1 and only desisting to give a table the dextrous twirl that would bring it near his mother1 and assist the labors of the servant who had entered with a tray4 ,will1 you immense fellow1 take yourself out of the way6 ,colonel1 permit me to give your sedan-chair just the slightest impulse forward1 and so save you the trouble of moving4 ,my adorable mother1 allow me the honor of being your ,ganymede4 ,here we are1 all right6 ,now1 let's see what there is--ham1 baked apples1 cold roast beef1 hot cocoa--not so bad1 'pon my word4 ,colonel1 ,i hope this crispy morning has given you some appetite1 after your hard cold--allow me-- ,mammy fust1 here interposed little ,will1 authoritatively1 'cause she older dan us6 and1 carefully holding the heaped-up plate his mother placed in both hands1 he deliberately adventured an overland journey to the distant object of his affectionate solicitude4 ,at this juncture1 it was discovered that the servant-man who brought up the tray1 had forgotten the sugar1 and a young nursery-maid was dispatched for it4 ,upon her return she contrived1 by some awkwardness in closing the door1 to spill the whole result of her mission to the pantry upon the floor4 ,her arms dropped by her sides1 as if suddenly paralyzed1 and ,i noticed a remarkable variety in the shade of her broad ,irish physiognomy4 ,there is no great harm done1 ,biddy1 said my hostess1 immediately1 in a peculiarly quiet1 gentle voice1 just step down to ,john for another bowlful4 ,while poor ,biddy is collecting her scattered senses on the stairs1 my son1 will you kindly assist ,willie in picking up the most noticeable lumps8--put them in this saucer1 my dear4 ,she is just learning1 you know and--she would not cross that ,rubicon as bravely as the classic hero you were reading of last night4 ,while we are so literary1 mother--what is it about the dolphin8 ,if ,i remember rightly ,bid was a pretty good exemplification---- ,hush6--,i am glad you thought to bring up more apples1 ,biddy4 ,colonel1 here is the most tempting spitzenberg--so good for a cold1 too4 ,take this to mammy will you1 ,biddy8 ,the one ,i sent you before1 was not so nice as these1 mammy--your favorite kind1 you know4 ,amused with the new scene in which ,i found myself1 ,i accepted the assurance of the fair home mother1 as the ,germans have it1 that ,i was not in the way1 and lingered a little longer4 ,by and by1 ,john came up to tell his mistress that there was an old man at the door with a basket of little things to sell1 and that he had sent a box of sealing-wax for her to look at4 ,poo' man6 poo' man8 said little ,will1 running up to my knee1 with such a sorrowful look in his innocent face--an' it so-o-o col'1 he added1 catching his mother's words1 as if by instinct4 ,take him down the money1 ,john1 ,i overheard1 in the intervals between the discourse of my juvenile instructor1 and this cup of chocolate--it will warm him4 ,ask him to sit by the hall stove1 while he drinks it4 ,nothing was said about the exceedingly portly brace of sandwiches that were manufactured by the busiest of fingers1 and which1 through the golden veil of ,willie's light curls1 ,i saw snugly tucked in1 on either side of the saucer4 ,now1 young ladies1 continued my amiable friend1 addressing a bevy of her rosy-cheeked young nieces1 who had just before entered the room1 here is a stick of fancy-colored wax1 for each of us--make your own choice4 ,luckily there is a red stick for ,col4 ,lunettes 7a half deprecatory glance at me71 the only color gentlemen use4 ,and1 as she received the box again--there is some for mammy and me--we are in partnership1 you know1 mammy6 ,a pleased look from the centre of the wide cap-frills by the window1 was the only response to this appeal2 but ,i had repeatedly observed that1 despite her industry1 mammy's huge spectacles took careful cognizance of the various proceedings around her4 ,as ,i was about1 for very shame1 to beat a retreat1 a cheery--good morning1 ,colonel1 ,i tapped at your door1 as ,i came up1 and thought you were napping it1 arrested my intended departure4 ,so wifie has coaxed you in here6 ,just like her6 ,she thinks she can take the best care of you with-- ,with the rest of the children6 ,i interrupted4 ,my loving spou1 as ,bessie says1 when she recites ,john ,gilpin1 may ,i trouble you to tie my cravat8 ,and with that important article of attire in his hand1 my friend knelt upon a low foot-stool1 before his household divinity4 ,thompson1 said ,i1 ,i always knew you were one of the luckiest fellows in the whole world2 but may ,i ask--just as a point of scientific inquiry--whether that office is always performed for you1 ',one fair spirit for your minister8' ,not a bit of it6 ,no indeed1 'pon my word6 only when ,i go to a dinner1 as to-day--or to church1 or--,i say1 ,will1 you unmitigated rogue1 how dare you6 you'll spoil my cravat--don't you see mamma is just tying it6 ,the little fellow thus objurgated1 his eyes scintillating with mirth1 now fairly astride of his father's shoulders1 clung tenaciously to his prize1 and petitioned for a ride in his familiar seat4 ,resorting to stratagem1 where force would ill apply1 the father1 rising with a thank you1 dear wifie1 retired backward towards a wide bed1 and1 by a dextrous movement1 suddenly landed his youthful captor in a heap in the middle4 ,to lose no time1 the brave boy1 conquered1 but not subdued1 made the best use of his lungs1 while reducing his arms and legs to order1 and ,bessie1 opening her beaming eyes1 at this outcry1 stretched out her arms to aid her pathetic appeal to papa to p'ay one little hos with her1 only but one6 ,evidently fearful of being out-generalled1 the invader beat a rapid retreat from the enemy's camp1 with the words thank you1 love1 ,i believe the little rascal didn't tumble it1 though ,i came within an ace1 like a real alderman1 of dying of a dinner--before it was eaten6 ,after this initiatory visit to the nursery of my fair friend1 ,mrs4 ,thompson1 ,i was allowed to come and go at my own pleasure1 during the remainder of my visit beneath her hospitable roof1 and ,i found myself so interested and amused by what ,i witnessed there1 as often to leave the solitude of my own apartment1 though surrounded there by every possible aid and appliance of comfort and enjoyment that refinement and courtesy could supply1 to learn the most beautiful lessons of practical wisdom and goodness from the most unpretending of teachers4 ,one morning when the habitue had sought his accustomed post of observation1 a young lady presented herself at the door1 and seeing me1 was about to retreat with something about its being very early for a visit1 when ,mrs4 ,thompson recalled her with a ,come in1 my dear1 and let me have the pleasure of presenting you to ,colonel ,lunettes1 the friend of whom you have heard us all speak so often4 ,after the usual courtesies1 this lovely earth-angel1 with some hesitation1 and drawing her chair nearer her friend1 explained her errand4 ,making a little screen of a cherub-head1 as was my wont1 ,i regaled myself unobserved1 with the music of sweet voices and the study of pretty faces4 ,i caught--my old drawing-teacher--her husband was a brute in their best days--this long1 hard winter--not even a carpet--the poor child on a wooden-bottomed chair1 with a little dirty pillow behind her head1 and so emaciated6--here there was a very perceptible quiver in the low tones1 followed by a little choking sort of pause4 ,i am really grateful to you for coming--,i have been unusually occupied lately by the baby's illness and other duties--the weather has given me more than one twinge of conscience--this accompanied by a quiet transfer from one purse to another1 and then ,i heard1 as the two ladies bent over the crib of the sleeping infant--is there a stout boy among the children8 ,there are the barrels of pork and beef1 always ready in the cellar--each good and wholesome of their kind--husband always has them brought from the farm on purpose to give away2 and we have abundance of fine potatoes--,john could not readily find the place1 and really1 just now1 he is pretty busy2 still1 perhaps1 they have the natural pride of better days--if you think it well1 ,i will try to send--the gentle ministers of mercy left the room together1 and ,i heard no more4 ,presently1 the youth of whom ,i have before spoken1 still at home enjoying his holiday's college vacation1 joined me1 and1 between the exercises of an entertaining gymnastic exhibition1 in which he and ,willie were the chief performers1 regaled me with humorous sketches of college adventures1 anecdotes of the professors1 etc41 in the details of some of which ,i think he had his quiet old nurse in his mind's eye1 as well as his father's guest4 ,when ,mrs4 ,thompson resumed her accustomed seat at her business-table1 as it might well be called1 my agreeable young entertainer slid away from the group about the fire1 and was soon snugged down1 in his own favorite fashion1 with his legs comfortably crossed over the top of the chair sustaining mammy's implements1 cheek-by-jowl with the venerable genius of the sewing-basket1 dipping into a newspaper1 and chatting1 at intervals1 with his humble friend4 ,once in a while ,i caught a sentence like this3 ,i say1 mammy1 you can't begin to think how glad ,i am you are getting down to my shirts6 ,such work as they make washing for a fellow at college6 ,my black washerwoman 7and such a beauty as she is--such a little rosebud of a mouth67 pretends to fasten the loose buttons--now1 there is a specimen of her performances--just look6 ,the real truth is1 ,mrs4 ,welch1 that mother and you are the only women ,i know of who can sew on a button worth a pin--just the only two1 by ,george6 ,now1 there's ,pierre de ,carradeaux1 one of our young fellows down there--his friends all live in ,hayti1 or some other unknown and uninhabitable region1 you know1 over the sea--,i wish you could see his clothes6 ,the way they mend at the tailors6 ,but the darns in his stockings are the funniest4 ,he rooms with me1 and so ,i hear him talking to himself1 in ,french4 ,i am afraid he swears1 sometimes--but the way he fares is enough to make a saint swear6 ,and then followed a detail that caused mammy to wipe her eyes in sympathy with this strange phase of human woe1 in alternation with an occasional exclamation of amusement--like1 ,you'll surely be the death of me1 ,master ,sidney6 apparently forced spasmodically from her lips1 despite the self-imposed taciturnity which1 ,i shrewdly suspected1 my presence created4 ,mother1 my revered maternal primitive1 may ,i read you this anecdote8 ,colonel1 will you allow me8--a respectful glance at the book in my hand4 ,and squeezing himself in from behind1 by some utterly inconceivable india-rubber pliancy1 between the fire and his much-enduring parent1 the tall form of the stripling slowly subsided until ,i could discern nothing but a mass of wavy black hair reposing amid the soft folds of his mother's morning-gown1 and a bit of his newspaper4 ,thus disposed1 apparently to the entire satisfaction of all concerned1 he read3 ,once1 while the celebrated ,john ,kemble1 the renowned actor and acute critic1 was still seated at the dinner-table of an ,english nobleman1 with whom he had been dining1 a servant announced that ,mrs4 ,kemble awaited her husband in a carriage at the door4 ,some time elapsed1 and the impersonator of ,shakspeare's mighty creations remained immovable4 ,at length the servant1 re-entering1 said3 ',mrs4 ,kemble bids me say1 sir1 that she is afraid of getting the rheumatiz4' ',add ism1' replied the imperturbable critic of language1 and quietly continued his discourse with his host4 ,if ,i should ever be compelled to marry--which1 of course1 ,i never shall unless you disinherit me1 mother1 or mammy insists upon leaving us to keep house for that handsome widower1 in the long snuff overcoat--though the respectable female thus alluded to did not even glance up from her stitching1 ,i plainly marked a little nod of virtuous defiance1 and a fluttering in the crimpings of the ample cap-border1 that plainly expressed desperation to the hopes of the widower aforesaid--but if fate should decree my 'attaining knowledge under difficulties1' upon this subject1 ,i hope ,i'll be a little too decent to keep my wife sitting out doors in a ,london fog 7,i shall make a bridal tour to ,europe1 of course71 while ,i am imbibing1 even with a 'nobleman4' ,speaking of the tyranny of fate1 ,i am1 most reluctantly1 compelled to deprive you of my refreshing conversation1 my dear and excellent mother4 ,if my dilapidated linen is restored to its virgin integrity3 in other words1 if my shirt is done1 ,i propose retiring to the deepest shades of private life1 and getting myself up1 without the slightest consideration for the financial affairs of my honored masculine progenitor1 for a morning call upon ----1 the fortunate youthful beauty ,i1 at present1 honor with my particular adoration4 ,so saying1 ,sir ,hopeful slowly emerged from his 'loop-hole of retreat1' and making a profound obeisance to his guardian spirit1 and another to me1 a shade less lowly1 he took himself off1 with his linen over his arm1 and a grand parting flourish at the door1 with his hat upon his walking-stick1 for the especial benefit of his little brother1 which elicited a shout of unmingled admiration from the juvenile spectators that need not have been despised by ,herr ,alexander himself4 ,during dinner that day1 as the varied and most bountiful course of pastry1 etc41 was about to be removed1 young ,sidney said3 ,mother1 allow me to relieve you of the largest half of that solitary-looking piece of mince-pie4 ,i am sorry ,i cannot afford to take the whole of it under my protecting care4 ,my dear son1 replied my hostess1 pleasantly1 let me suggest the attractions of variety4 ,you have already done your devoir to this pie4 ,your father pronounces the cocoanut excellent--and then1 as if in reply to the look of surprise that met her good-humored sally1 she added1 in a tone meant only for the ears of the youth1 this happens to be the last1 and mammy eats no other1 you remember4 ,no great matter1 either2 to-morrow will be baking-day4 ,now ,i know why you took none yourself1 mother1 answered ,sidney1 cheerfully1 in the same aside manner2 and the placid smile on the hospitable face of the 'home-mother' alone acknowledged her recognition of the ascription of self-denial to her2 for it is not occasionally1 but always1 that ,in the clear heaven of her delightful eye1 ,an angel guard of loves and graces lie4 ,adieu6 ,,uncle ,,hal4 ,,letter ,v4 ,,manner--,,practical ,,directions4 ,,my ,,dear ,,nephews3 ,though good breeding is always and everywhere essentially the same1 there are phases of daily life1 especially demanding its exhibition4 ,manner in the street is one of these4 ,even in hours most exclusively devoted to business1 do not allow yourself to hurry along with a clouded1 absent face and bent head1 as if you forever felt the foot of the earth-god on your neck6 ,carry an erect and open brow into the very midst of the heat and burden of the day4 ,take time to see your friends1 as they cross you in the busy thoroughfares of life and1 at least by a passing smile or a gesture of recognition1 give token that you are not resolved into a mere money-making machine1 and both will be better for this fleeting manifestation of the inner being4 ,during business hours and in crowded business-streets no man should ever stop another1 whom he knows to be necessarily constantly occupied at such times1 except upon a matter of urgent need1 and then if he alone is to be benefited by the detention1 he should briefly apologize and state his errand in as few words as possible4 ,but the habit of a cheerful tone of voice1 a cordial smile1 and friendly grasp of the hand1 when meeting those with whom one is associated in social life1 is not to be regarded as unimportant4 ,if you do not intend to stop1 when meeting a gentleman friend1 recognize him as you approach1 by a smile1 and touching your hat salute him audibly with--,good morning1 sir1 or ,i hope you are well1 sir1 or 7more familiarly71 ,ah1 ,charley6--good morning to you4 ,but don't say1 ,how d' ye do1 sir1 when you cannot expect to learn1 nor call back as you pass1 something that will cause him to linger1 uncertain what you say4 ,if you wish to stop a moment1 especially in a thoroughfare1 retain the hand you take1 while you retire a little out of the human current2 and never fall into the absurdity of attempting to draw a tight or moistened glove while another waits the slow process4 ,it is better to offer the gloved hand as a rule1 without apology1 in the street4 ,if you are compelled to detain a friend1 when he is walking with a stranger1 briefly but politely apologize to the stranger1 and keep no one in durance vile longer than absolute necessity requires4 ,when thus circumstanced yourself1 respond cheerfully and courteously to the apologetic phrase offered1 and1 drawing a little aside1 occupy yourself with anything beside the private conversation that interrupts your walk4 ,sometimes circumstances render it decorous to pass on with some courteous phrase1 to step into some neighboring bookseller's1 etc41 or to make a rapid appointment for a re-union4 ,cultivate the quick discernment1 the ready tact1 that will engender ease of manner under those and similar circumstances requiring prompt action4 ,never leave a friend suddenly in the street1 either to join another1 or for any other reason1 without an apology2 the briefest phrase1 expressed in a cordial tone1 will suffice1 in an emergency4 ,upon passing servants1 or other inferiors in station1 whom you wish to recognize1 in the street1 it is a good practice1 without bowing or touching the hat1 to salute them in a kindly voice4 ,when you meet a gentleman whom you know1 walking with one or more ladies1 with whom you are not acquainted1 bow with grave respect to them also4 ,politeness requires that upon meeting ladies and gentlemen together1 with both of whom one is acquainted1 that one should lift the hat as he approaches them1 and bowing first to the ladies1 include the gentleman in a sweeping motion1 or a succeeding bow1 as the case permits4 ,should you stop1 speak first to the lady1 but do not offer to shake hands with a lady in full morning costume1 should your glove be dark-colored or your hand uncovered4 ,again lift your hat to each1 in succession of age or rank1 as a substitute for this dubious civility1 with some playful expression1 as ,i am sorry my glove is not quite fresh1 ,mrs4 ----1 but you need no assurance of my being always the most devoted of your friends or admirers1 or ,really1 ,miss ----1 you are so beautifully dressed1 and looking so charmingly1 that ,i dare not venture too near6 ,and as you part1 again take your hat quite off1 letting the party pass you1 and on the wall side of the street1 if that be practicable4 ,in the street with other men1 carefully give that precedence to superior age or station which is so becoming in the young1 by taking the outer side of the pavement1 or that nearer the counter current1 as circumstances may make most polite4 ,when you give1 or have an arm1 carefully avoid all erratic movements1 and keep step1 like a well-trained soldier6 ,towards ladies1 in the streets1 the most punctilious observance of politeness is due4 ,walking with them1 one should1 of course1 assume the relative position best adapted to protect them from inconvenience or danger1 and carefully note and relieve them from the approach of either4 ,in attending them into a store1 c41 always give them precedence1 holding the door open from without1 if practicable4 ,if compelled to pass before them1 to attend to this courtesy1 say1 allow me1 or with your permission1 etc4 ,meeting ladies1 the hat should be taken off as you bow1 and replaced when you have passed1 or1 if you pause to address them1 politely raised again as you quit them4 ,when you are stopped by a lady friend in the street1 at once place yourself so as best to shield her from the throng1 if you are in a crowd1 or from passing vehicles1 etc41 and never by your manner indicate either surprise or embarrassment upon such an occasion4 ,allow her to terminate the interview1 and raise your hat quite off as you take leave of her4 ,when a stranger lady addresses an inquiry to you in the street1 or when you restore something she has inadvertently dropped1 touch your hat ceremoniously1 and with some phrase or accent of respect1 add grace to a civility4 ,if you have occasion to speak more than a word or two to a lady whom you may meet in walking1 turn and accompany her while you say what you wish1 and1 taking off your hat1 when you withdraw1 express your regret at losing the further enjoyment of her society1 or the like4 ,if you wish to join a lady whom you see before you1 be careful in hurrying forward not to incommode her 7or others1 indeed71 and do not speak so hurriedly1 or loudly1 as to startle her1 or arrest attention1 and should you have only a slight acquaintance with her1 say1 as you assume a position at her side1 ,with your permission1 madam1 ,i will attend you1 or ,give me leave to join your walk1 ,miss ---- etc4 ,of course1 no well-bred man ever risks the possibility of intrusion in this way1 or ever speaks first to a lady to whom he has only had a passing introduction4 ,in the latter case1 you look at a lady as you advance towards her1 and await her recognition4 ,speaking of an intrusion1 you should be well assured that you will not make an awkward third before you venture to attach yourself to a lady and gentleman walking together1 though you may even know them very well2 and the same rule holds good in a picture-gallery1 rococo-shop1 or elsewhere1 when two persons1 or a party1 sit or walk together4 ,every man is bound by the laws of courtesy1 to note any street accident that imperils ladies1 and at once to hasten to render such service as the occasion requires4 ,promptitude and self-possession may do good service to humanity and the fair1 at such a juncture4 ,should you observe ladies whom you know1 unattended by a gentleman1 alighting from or entering a carriage1 especially if there is no footman1 and the driver maintains his seat1 at once advance1 hold the door open1 and offer your hand1 or protect a dress from the wheel1 or the like1 and bowing1 pass on1 all needed service rendered2 or1 if more familiarity and your own wish sanction it1 accompany them where they may chance to be entering4 ,no general rule can be laid down respecting offering the arm to ladies in the street4 ,where persons are known and reside habitually1 local custom will usually be the best guide4 ,at night1 the arm should always be tendered1 and so in ascending the multiplied steps of a public building1 etc41 for equally obvious reasons4 ,for similar cause1 you go before ladies into church1 into a crowded concert-room1 etc41 wherever1 in short1 they are best aided in securing seats1 and escaping jostling1 by this precedence of them4 ,when attending a stranger lady1 in visiting the noted places of your own city1 or the like1 and when one of a party for a long walk1 or of travellers1 it may often be an imperative civility to proffer the arm4 ,to relatives1 or elderly ladies1 this is always a proper courtesy1 as it is to every woman1 when you can thus most effectually secure her safety or her comfort4 ,do not forget1 when walking with elderly people1 or ladies1 to moderate the headlong speed of your usual step4 ,i will here enter my most emphatic protest against a practice of which ladies so justly complain1--the too-frequent rudeness of men in stationing themselves at the entrance of churches1 concert-rooms1 opera houses1 etc41 for the express purpose1 apparently1 of staring every modest woman who may chance to enter1 out of countenance4 ,no one possessed of true good-breeding will indulge in a practice so at variance with propriety4 ,if occasion demands your thus remaining stationary upon the steps or in the portico of a public edifice1 make room1 at once1 for ladies who may be entering1 and avoid any appearance of curiosity regarding them4 ,a similar course is suitable when occupying a place upon the steps1 or at the windows of a pump-room at a watering-place1 or of a hotel4 ,carefully avoid all semblance of staring at ladies passing in the street1 alighting from a carriage1 etc41 and make no comment1 even of a complimentary nature1 in a voice that can possibly reach their ears4 ,so1 when walking in the street1 if beauty or grace attract your attention1 let your regard be respectful1 and1 even then1 not too fixed4 ,an audible comment or exclamation1 addressed to a companion1 a laugh1 a familiar stare1 are each and all1 when any stranger1 and more especially a woman1 is the subject of them1 unhandsome in the extreme4 99 99 99 99 99 ,breakfasting one morning1 at ,west ,point1 with an agreeable ,portuguese1 we chatted for some time over the newspapers and our coffee1 as we sat within view of one of the most beautiful landscapes it has ever been my fortune to behold4 ,at length our un-,american indulgence in this respect1 became the theme of conversation between us4 ,pardon me1 said the elegant foreigner1 but though the ,americans are very kind--a very pleasant people1 they do not take enough of time for these things1 at all4 ,they do not only eat in a hurry1 but they even pass their friends in the street1 sometimes1 without speaking to them6 ,i remember last winter1 in ,philadelphia1 where ,i was some months1 ,i met one day1 in ,chestnut street1 a gentleman whom ,i knew very well1 and he passed me without speaking4 ,i made up my mind at once1 that this shall not happen again1 so the next time ,i saw him coming1 ,i looked into a shop window1 or at something1 and did not see him4 ,he came to me and said--,good morning1 ,mr4 ,a----6 what is the matter with you1 that you do not speak to me8 or something like that4 ,i answered1 that he had cut me in the street 7,i think that is what you call it67 two or three days before1 and that ,i never will permit myself to be treated in this manner4 ,then he said1 that ,i must excuse him1 that he must have been in business and did not see me1 and so on4 ,but this is not the way of a gentleman in my country6 ,you must imagine for yourselves the double effect1 lent to the words of my companion by his foreign action and imperfect pronunciation1 and the slight curl of his dark moustache as he emphasized the words ,i have underscored4 99 99 99 99 99 ,what a harum-scarum fellow that ,james ,condon is6 exclaimed a young lady1 in my hearing4 ,i had reason to repent declining to drive to the concert last night1 ,i assure you6 ,the moon1 upon which ,i had counted1 was obscured1 and he not only hurried me along 7though we had plenty of time1 as ,i was quite ready when he came71 at breathless speed1 but actually dragged me over a heap of rubbish1 in crossing the street1 upon which ,i nearly tumbled down1 though ,i had his arm4 ,when we reached the place1 ,i was so heated and flurried that ,i could not half enjoy the music1 and this morning ,i find not only that my handsome new boots are completely spoiled1 but that ,i have any quantity of lime upon the bottom of the dress ,i wore1 and my pretty fan1 which he must needs insist upon carrying for me1 sadly broken6 99 99 99 99 99 ,i have seen everything and everybody ,i wish1 in ,london1 except the ,duke of ,wellington1 said a sprightly lady whose early morning walk past ,apsley ,house--the town residence of the ,iron ,duke--,i was attending some years since1 every distinguished man1 except the ,hero of ,waterloo4 ,i hope ,i shall not lose that pleasure6 ,you may have that pleasure now1 madam6 exclaimed a gentleman1 passing us and rapidly walking forward1 in whose erect figure and very narrow brimmed hat1 ,i at once recognized the object of my companion's hitherto unsatisfied curiosity4 ,strolling in ,kensington ,park1 during that same morning1 and at an hour too unfashionably early for a crowd1 with my fair charge1 ,i drew her gently aside1 as she leaned on my arm1 from some slight obstruction in our path1 which she did not observe1 and which might otherwise have incommoded her4 ,really ,colonel ,lunettes1 said she1 your watchful politeness reminds me of my dear father's4 ,you gentlemen of the old school so much surpass modern beaux in courtesy6 ,i well remember the last walk ,i had in ,broadway with papa1 before we sailed4 ,mrs4 ,w---- and ,i were making a morning visit1 quite up town for us ,brooklynites--in ,union ,place1 upon a bride1 when who should also arrive but papa4 ,when we took leave1 he accompanied us1 and finding that we had taken a fancy to walk all the way to the ferry1 insisted upon going with us--only think1 at his age1 and so luxurious in his habits1 too6 ,as he is a little hard of hearing1 and likes always to talk with ,mrs4 ,w----1 who is a great favorite of his1 ,i insisted upon his walking between us--that ,i might have his arm1 and yet not interfere with his conversation4 ,this1 of course1 brought me on the outside4 ,but ,i cannot describe to you the watchful care he had for me1 all the way4 ,at the slightest crowding he held me so firmly--saw every swerve of the vehicles towards us1 and would hold my dress away from every rough box or so1 that lumbered the sidewalk1 and every now and then he would say--',minnie1 wouldn't you be more comfortable on my other arm8 ,i am afraid you will be hurt there6' ,at the ,brooklyn ferry he was to leave us1 as he could not go over to dine that day4 ,seeing a crowd at the door of the office1 he hastened a little before us to pay the fare1 and then saw us safely through the press1 taking leave of me as politely as of ,mrs4 ,w----4 ',what an elegant gentleman your father is6' cried out ,mrs4 ,w----1 as soon as he was gone1 'he always reminds me of the descriptions we read of the chivalrous courtesy of knights of olden time2 it is like listening to a heroic ballad to be with him1 and receive his politeness4' ,i know you won't laugh at me1 ,colonel1 when ,i say that the memory of that simple incident is still as fresh in my heart1 as though no ocean voyage and long travel had come between2 and ,i can truly say that ,i was prouder of my cavalier attendant that day1 than ,i ever was of all the young men together1 who ever walked ,broadway1 with me4 ,the tremulous tones1 the glistening eyes1 and the glowing cheeks of the fair young speaker attested the truth of her filial boast1 and ,i--but you must draw your own morals6 ,presently we resumed our chat1 and the theme of the moment together4 ,i well recollect1 said my companion1 in the course of our discussion1 the impression produced upon me1 in my girlhood1 by the manners of a young gentleman1 who was my groomsman at the wedding of a young friend4 ,some of the lessons of good breeding taught me by his example1 ,i shall never forget1 ,i think4 ,i was the most bashful creature in the world at that time1 and he quite won my heart by the politeness with which he set me at ease1 at once1 when he came to take me away in a carriage to join my young friends4 ,but that was not the point3 the next morning after the wedding1 we were all to attend the 'happy pair' as far as ,saratoga1 on their wedding-tour2 that is1 the bridesmaids and bridesmen4 ,at ,schenectady1 we were put into an old-fashioned car1 divided into compartments4 ,just as we were about to start1 a singularly tall1 gaunt1 ,yankeefied-looking elderly woman scrambled into our little box of a place1 and seated herself4 ,we were fairly off1 before she seemed fully to realize the trials of her new position4 ,she did not say1 in the language of the popular song1 ',i think there must be danger ',mong so many sparks6' but she looked as though she feared having fallen among the ,philistines2 and1 ,i am ashamed to say that some of our merry party made no scruple of privately amusing themselves with her peculiarities of dress and manner4 ,mr4 ,henry1 however 7my groomsman71 addressed some polite remarks to her1 in so grave and respectful a manner as soon to convince her of his sincerity1 and as carefully watched the sparks that fell upon her thick worsted gown1 as those that annoyed the rest of us4 ,at the first stopping-place1 you may be very sure that the unwilling intruder was in haste to change her seat4 ',do you wish to get out1 madam6' inquired ,mr4 ,henry2 'allow me to help you2' and bounding out1 he assisted her down the high step1 as carefully and respectfully as though she were some high dame of rank and fashion4 ,i am afraid that1 though ,i did not actually join in the merriment of my thoughtless friends1 ,i deserved the sting of conscience that served to fasten this little incident so firmly in my remembrance4 ,perhaps ,i was1 for this reason1 the more impressed by another proof of the ever-ready politeness of this gentleman1 who made such an impression upon my girlish fancy4 ,we dined at ,ballston1 on our way to ,saratoga1 and after dinner1 ,i asked ,mr4 ,henry1 with whom1 in spite of my first awe of his superiority of years and polish1 ,i began to feel quite at ease1 to run down with me to one of the ,springs1 for a glass of water1 before we should resume our journey4 ,so he good-naturedly left the gentlemen 7now ,i know that he may have wished to smoke7 together at the table1 and accompanied me4 ,but now for my denoument4 ,just as we were in a narrow place1 between a high1 steep bank and the track1 the cars came rushing towards us4 ,in an instant1 quicker than thought1 ,mr4 ,henry had transferred me from the arm next the cars--because more removed from the edge of the bank--to the other arm1 thus placing his person between me and any passing danger1 and with such a quiet1 re-assuring manner6 ,you smile1 ,colonel--but1 really--well1 you see what an impression it made upon my youthful sensibilities6 99 99 99 99 99 ,oh1 girls1 such a charming adventure as ,i had this evening6 exclaimed ,margaret1 as a bevy of fair young creatures clustered together before the fire in a drawing-room where ,i was seated after dinner1 with my newspaper4 ,my attention was arrested by the peculiar animation with which these words were pronounced1 and ,i glanced at the group1 over the top of my spectacles4 ,they reminded me of so many brilliant-hued butterflies1 in their bright-colored winter dresses1 and with their light1 wavy motions as they settled themselves1 one on a pile of cushions1 others on a low ottoman1 and two pretty fairies on the hearth-rug1 each uttering some exclamation of gratification at the prospect of amusement4 ,now1 don't expect anything extraordinary or dreadful1 you silly creatures2 ,i have no 'hair-breadth 'scapes by land or sea' to entertain you with4 ,can't one have a 'charming adventure1' and yet have nothing to tell8 ,but do tell us all there is to tell1 dear ,miss ----4 ,do1 please1 this very moment1 entreated one of the fairies1 linking her arms around her companion1 and mingling her golden ringlets with the darker locks of the head upon which her own lovingly rested4 ,and a little concert of similar pleadings followed4 ,this prelude over1 the tantalizing adventuress began3 ,before ,i went over to ,new ,york this morning1 ,i wrote a little note to ,mary ,bostwick1 telling her all about our arrangements for the ,christmas-tree1 and charging her not to fail to come to us on ,christmas eve1 and all about it1 for fear that1 as ,i had so much to accomplish1 ,i might not be able to go up to ,twenty-third street1 and return home in time to meet you all here4 ,my plan was to keep it until ,i was decided1 and then1 if obliged to send it1 to put it in one of the ,city ,express letter-boxes4 ,well1 by the time ,i was through with all my important errands1 it was time for me to turn my steps homeward4 ,so1 happening last at ,tiffany's1 to get the--,i mean1 ,i asked at ,tiffany's for one of the places where a box is kept in that neighborhood1 and was told that there was one in a druggist's1 quite near--just above4 ,hurrying along1 ,i must have passed the place1 and stopped somewhere not far below ',taylor's1' to see exactly where ,i was4 ,time was flying1 and it was really almost growing dark2 so ,i ventured to inquire of a gentleman who was passing1 though an entire stranger1 for the druggist's4 ',i think it is below1 near the ,astor ,house1' said he1 with such an appearance of interest as to embolden me to mention what ,i was in search of4 ',if that is all1' he replied1 ',i dare say there is one nearer4 ,let me see1' glancing around1 ',i think there is one on the opposite corner--,i will see4' ',i have no right to give you that trouble1 sir1' said ,i4 ',yes you have--it is what every man owes to your sex4' ',you are very good1 sir2 but ,i am sure ,i can make the inquiry for myself4' ',no1 it is a tavern1 where you cannot properly go alone6 ,remain here1 and ,i will ascertain for you4' ,before ,i could repeat my thanks1 the gentleman was half across the street4 ,hoping to facilitate matters1 ,i followed him to the opposite pavement1 and stood where he would observe me upon coming out of the door ,i had seen him enter4 ,i held the note and my porte-monnaie ready in my hand4 ',there is a box here1' said my kind friend1 returning1 'if you will intrust me with your letter1 ,i will deposit it for you4' ',you are very good1 sir2 ,i would like to pay it1' ,i answered1 opening my porte-monnaie4 ,he took the letter quickly1 and prevented my intended offer of the postage so decidedly1 that ,i did not dare insist4 ,but1 by this time1 ,i really could not refrain from the expression of more than an ordinary acknowledgment3 ',i have to thank you1 sir1' said ,i1 'not only for a real kindness to a stranger1 but for a pleasant memory1 which ,i shall not soon lose4 ,such courtesy is too unusual to be soon forgotten6 ',how far one little candle sometimes throws its rays6'--many thanks and good evening1 sir6' ,i had still one more errand in ,canal street1 but ,i stayed on the 'unfashionable side' of the street1 and went up1 to avoid the awkwardness of re-crossing with the gentleman1 and the possibility of imposing any further tax upon his politeness--bless him6 ,i wasn't half as weary after ,i met him1 and my heart has been in a glow ever since6 ,bravo6 ,bravissimo6 echoed round the room1 in various waves of silvery sound4 ,is that all1 ,miss ----8 inquired the only boy of the party1 unless you except the approach to second childhood ensconced behind the newspaper1 and now acting the amiable part of reporter1 for your benefit4 ,all1 unless ,i add that ,i occasionally glanced cautiously over1 to catch the form of my kind friend1 as ,i hurried along1 that ,i might not again cross his path2 but ,i did not 'calculate' successfully after all2 for1 as ,i ran across ,broadway1 at ,canal street corner1 he was a little nearer than ,i had expected4 ,i bowed slightly1 and hurried on3--but wasn't it beautiful8 ,such chivalrous sentiments towards women3 ',it is what we all owe your sex6' ,and his manner was more expressive than his words--so gentle and quiet6 ,no stage effect---- ,but you quoted ,shakespeare1 insinuated a pretty piece of malice on the ottoman4 ,i couldn't help it1 if ,i did6 ,i was surprised out of the use of ordinary language by an extraordinary occasion4 ,if you are going to ridicule me1 ,i shall be sorry ,i told you2 for it is one of the pleasantest things that has happened to me in a great while6 ,there was ,i1 in my incognito-dress1 as ,i call it1 weary and pale1 nothing about me to attract interest1 ,i am sure6 ,i wish such men were more common in this world1 they would elevate the race6 ,i declare1 cousin ,maggie1 you are growing enthusiastic6 ,i haven't seen such beaming eyes and such a brilliant color for a long time6 ,was this most gallant knight of yours a young gentleman1 may ,i ask8 ,the lady thus questioned seemed to reflect a moment before she replied3 ,if you mean to inquire whether he was a whiskered1 moustached elegant1 not a bit of it6 ,i should not have addressed such a man in the street4 ,on the contrary1 he was---- ,married1 ,i am afraid6 interrupted pretty mischief on the ottoman1 giggling behind her next neighbor4 ,i dare say he may have been1 pursued the narrator1 quietly4 ,no very young man1 even if he had wished to be polite to a stranger neither young nor beautiful1 which is very doubtful1 would have exhibited the graceful self-possession and easy politeness of this gentleman3--he was1 probably1 going to his home in the upper part of the city after a business-day4 ,as ,i remember his dress1 though1 of course1 ,i had no thought about it at the time1 it was the simple1 unnoticeable attire of an ,american gentleman when engaged in business occupations--everything about him1 as ,i recall his presence1 was in keeping--unostentatious1 quiet1 appropriate6 ,i shall long preserve his portrait in my picture-gallery of memory1 and ,i am proud to believe that he is my own countryman6 ,cousin ,maggie always says1 remarked one of her auditors1 that ,americans are the most truly polite men she has met---- ,yes1 returned the enthusiast1 though sometimes wanting in mere surface-polish-- ',where'er ,i roam1 whatever lands ,i see1 ,my heart1 untravelled1 fondly turns to'---- my own dear1 honored countrymen--more truly chivalrous1 more truly just towards our sex1 than the men of any other land6 ,i never yet appealed to one of them for aid1 for courtesy1 as a woman1 and as a woman should1 in vain4 ,and ,i never1 scarcely1 am so placed as to have occasion for kindness--real kindness--without receiving it1 unasked4 ,the other day1 for instance1 caught in a sudden shower1 ,i stood waiting for a stage1 'down town1' in ,broadway4 ,there was such a jam that ,i was afraid to try and get into one that stopped quite near the sidewalk4 ,a policeman1 at that moment1 asked me whether ,i wished to get in1 and1 holding my arm1 stepped over the curb with me4 ',i don't know what the ladies would do without the aid of your corps1 sometimes1 in these crowds1' said ,i4 ',if the ladies will accept our services1 we are proud1 madam1' answered he4 ',i am very glad to do so1' returned ,i2 and well ,i might1 for1 at that instant1 as ,i was on the point of setting my foot on the step of the omnibus1 the horse attached to a cart next behind suddenly started forward1 and left no space between his head and the door of the stage4 ,i shrunk back1 as you may imagine1 and said ,i would walk1 in spite of the rain4 ,but the policeman encouraged me1 and called out to the carman to fall back4 ,at that instant1 ,i observed a gentleman come out upon the step of the stage4 ,with a single imperious gesture1 and the sternest face1 he drove back the horse1 and springing into the omnibus1 held the door open with one hand1 and extended the other to me4 ,to be sure1 the policeman almost pinched my arm in two1 in his effort to keep me safe1 but ,i was1 at last1 seated with whole bones and a grateful heart1 at the side of my brave1 kind champion4 ,as soon as ,i recovered breath1 ,i was curious to see again the face whose expression had arrested my attention 7of course1 ,i did not wait for breath to thank him71 and to note the external characteristics of a man who would impulsively render such service to a woman--like ,charles ,lamb--7dear1 gentle ,charles ,lamb67 holding his umbrella over the head of a washerwoman1 because she was a woman6 ,well1 my friend was looking straight before him1 apparently wholly unconscious of the existence of the trembling being he had so humanely befriended1 with the most impenetrable face imaginable1 and a sort of abstracted manner4 ,presently ,i desired to open the window behind me--still not quite recovered from my fright and flutter4 ,almost before my hand was on the glass1 my courteous neighbor relieved me of my task4 ,again ,i rendered cordial thanks1 and again1 as soon as delicacy permitted1 glanced furtively at the face beside me4 ,nothing to reward my scrutiny was there revealed2 the same absorbed1 fixed expression1 the same seeming unconsciousness6 ,but can you doubt that a noble1 manly nature was veiled beneath that calm face and quiet manner--a nature that would gleam out in an instant1 should humanity prompt1 or wrong excite8 ,and ,i could tell you numberless such anecdotes--all illustrative of my favorite theory4 ,so could we all1 said another lady1 ,i have no doubt1 if we only remembered them4 ,i never forget anything of that kind1 returned ,margaret4 ,it is to me like a strain of fine music1 acted poetry1 if ,i may use such a phrase4 ,such incidents make1 for me1 the poetry of real life1 indeed6 ,they inspire in my heart1 ',the still1 sweet music of humanity4' ,one magnificent moonlight night1 while ,i was in ,rome with your cousins and the ,w----s1 a party was formed to visit the ,coliseum4 ,that whimsical creature1 ,grace1 whom ,i had more than once detected in a disposition to fall behind the rest of the company1 as we strolled slowly through the ruins1 at length stole up to me1 as ,i paused a little apart from the group1 and twining her arm within mine1 whispered softly3 ,do1 dear ,uncle ,hal1 come this way with me for a few moments6 ,yielding to the impulse she gave me1 we were presently disengaged from our companions1 and1 leaning1 as if by mutual agreement1 against a pillar4 ,what a luxury it is to be quiet6 exclaimed your cousin1 with a sigh of relief4 ,how that little ,miss ,b---- does chatter6 ,really it is profanation to think or speak of common things to-night1 and here6 ,well1 my fair ,epicurean1 returned ,i1 since ----',silence1 like a poultice comes ,to heal the blows of sound1' you shall reward me for my indulgence in attending you1 by repeating some of ,byron's apropos lines1 for me as we stand here-- ,at your pleasure1 dear uncle4 ,presently she began1 in a subdued tone1 as if afraid of disturbing the dreams of another1 or as if half listening while she spoke to the tread of those ',whose distant footsteps echo ,through the corridors of ,time2' but gradually losing all consciousness1 save that of the inspiration of the bard1 our fair enthusiast reached a climax of eloquence with the words-- ',the azure gloom ,of an ,italian night1 where the deep skies assume ,hues which have words1 and speak to ye of ,heaven1 ,floats o'er this vast and wondrous monument1'-- and she stretched out her arm1 with an impulsive gesture1 as she spoke4 ,i perceived a sudden recoil1 at the instant1 of her dilating form1 and1 before ,i could devise an explanation1 heard the words1 ,you are my prisoner1 madam1 and discovered a gentleman standing in the deep shadow of the pillar1 close at her side1 busily endeavoring to disentangle the fringe of her shawl from the buttons of his coat4 ,i remembered1 afterwards1 having noticed in passing1 sometime before1 a shadowy figure standing with folded arms and upturned face1 half lost in the deep shadow of a pillar1 apparently quite unconscious of the vicinity of the chattering ephemera fluttering by his retreat4 ,i at once surmised that ,grace and ,i had approached from the other side1 and inadvertently stationed ourselves near this aesthetical devotee--so near that your cousin1 in the excitement of her eloquence1 had fastened a lasso upon the dress of the stranger4 ,you are my prisoner1 madam1 he said1 in ,french4 ,the words were simple enough1 not so apposite but that many an one might have uttered them under similar circumstances4 ,yet they were replete with meaning1 conveyed by the subtle aid of intonation and of manner4 ,the most chivalrous courtesy1 the most exquisite refinement1 were fully expressed in that brief sentence4 ,i have no fears either for my purse1 or my life1 returned the quick-witted lady thus addressed1 aiding in the required disentanglement4 ,you need have none1 rejoined the gentleman1 though the laws of chivalry entitle me to demand a goodly ransom for so fair a prize--glancing politely towards me4 ,accept1 at least1 the poor guerdon of this token of my thanks1 said the enthusiast of the moment1 tendering a beautiful flower1 which was opportunely loosened from her bosom by the slight derangement of her dress4 ,it will be a treasured memento1 answered the stranger1 receiving the proffered gift with graceful respect1 and1 bowing with the most courtly deference1 he walked rapidly away1 as loth1 by lingering one needless moment1 to seem intrusive4 ,what a voice6 exclaimed ,grace1 as the retreating figure disappeared behind the fragment of a fallen column1 blithe as the matin tone of a lark1 and---- ,clear as the note of the clarion that startled you so upon the ,appian ,way1 the other day1 ,i suggested1 and indeed1 ,i am not sure that there was not a little tremor in your fingers1 this time1 my brave lady1 and that you did not hold just a little tighter fast the arm of your old uncle4 ,what nonsense1 ,uncle ,hal6--could anything be more delicately reassuring--admitting that ,i was startled1 at first1--than the whole bearing of the gentleman8 ,should you know him again8 ,i questioned4 ,i think ,i should1 were it only by the diamond he wore1 she replied1 with a little laugh at the woman's reason4 ,did you observe it uncle1 as his macintosh was opened by the pulling of that silly fringe--really it might grace the crescent of ,dian herself1 on a gala-night--it was a young star6 but ,i also saw his face distinctly as he raised his hat4 ,well1 now for the denoument of my story--for every romantic adventure should properly have a denoument4 ,as we were all riding on the ,campagna a few days afterwards1 the usual intimation was given of the approach of the cortege of the ,pope4 ,of course we went through the mummery of withdrawing1 while the poor old man was hurried along in his airing4 ,standing thus together1 a party of gentlemen rode rapidly up1 and1 recognizing some of our party1 joined us4 ,scarcely were the usual greetings over1 when ,grace1 reining her horse near me1 said1 in a low tone3 ,uncle1 there is the 'bright particular star' of the other night in the ,coliseum2 ,i know ,i am not mistaken4 ,and so it proved--the polished1 graceful stranger was not a ,prince incognito1 not even an acreless count1 whose best claim to respect consisted in hereditary titles and courtly manners1 but a young ,american artist1 full of activity1 enthusiasm and genius1 who had not forgotten to give beauty to the casket1 because it enshrined a gem of high value4 ,apropos of gems--,i afterwards learned that the superb brilliant he always wore on his breast was a token of the gratitude of a distinguished and munificent patron and friend1 for whom this child of feeling and genius had successfully incarnated all that was earthly of one loved and lost4 ,we subsequently became well acquainted with our gifted countryman1 and a right good fellow he proved4 ,we met him constantly in society1 while at ,florence--the ,italian ,paradise of ,americans1 as ,miss ---- always called it--where his genial manners1 the type of a genial nature1 made him a general favorite1 as well with natives as foreigners4 ,soon after he was named to me that day on the ,campagna1 your cousin1 who had again moved from my side1 turned her face towards us4 ,the movement arrested the attention of my companion--he glanced inquiringly at me4 ,i think ,i am not mistaken1 sir2 have we not met before8 and the same exquisite courtesy illumined his face that had so impressed me previously4 ,may ,i ask the honor of a presentation to my sometime prisoner8 ,really1 sir1 ,i overheard ,grace confessing1 in her sprightliest tones1 as1 the two parties uniting for the nonce1 we all rode on together2 really1 sir1 ,i remember to have been secretly rejoiced at having left my heart1 watch1 and other valuables1 safely locked up at home1 when ,i found myself in such a dangerous-looking neighborhood4 ,and ,i still indulge the regret that my profession did not fully entitle me to retain possession1 not only of the shawl1 which1 no doubt1 was a camel's hair of unknown value1 but of the embodied poetry it enwrapped4 ,you seem quite to overlook the fact that ,i was guarded1 like a damsel of old1 by a doughty knight4 ,i wish ,i could half describe the dextrous twirl of the moustache1 and the quickly-shadowed brow that suddenly transformed that luminous and honest face into that of the dark1 moody brigand1 as1 fumbling in his bosom the while1 as about to unsheath a dagger1 he growled1 in mock-heroic manner--,it were easy to find means to silence such an opponent1 with such a reward in view6 ,the merry laugh with which ,grace received this sally1 proved that she1 at least1 liked the versatility of manner possessed by her gallant attendant4 99 99 99 99 99 ,touching the electric chain of memory1 causes another link to vibrate1 and ,i am reminded of my promise1 made in a former letter1 to tell you about the ,american girl whose beautiful arm threw ,powers into raptures4 ,you will1 perhaps1 recollect that ,i alluded to my having met abroad the heroine of the cornelian pate anecdote4 ,i assure you1 ,i had ample occasion1 more than once1 to be proud of my lovely countrywoman1 in the most distinguished ,european circles--and by that term ,i do not refer to distinction created by mere rank4 ,but to my tale3 ,one day1 during our mutual sojourn in her well-named ,italian ,paradise1 ,miss ----1 and her father1 in accordance with a previous arrangement1 called at my lodgings1 to take me with them to a dinner at the ,palace de ----4 ,i propose1 as we have purposely come early1 ,col4 ,lunettes1 in the hope of finding you at leisure1 that we shall drop in at ,powers' studio1 a few minutes2 it is in our direct way1 and he will be there1 as ,i happen to know4 ,i so wish to know your impression of papa's bust4 ,while ,i was enjoying a chat with the presiding genius of the scene1 a little apart from a group gathered about some object of peculiar interest1 a sudden glow of enthusiasm lighted his eye1 as with ,promethean fire4 ,heavens1 what an arm6 exclaimed ,powers4 ,oh1 for the art to petrify it6 he added1 with an expressive gesture1 the furore of the artist rapidly enkindling4 ,following the direction of his glance1 ,i beheld what might well excite admiration in a less discriminating spectator4 ,the velvet mantle that had shrouded the gala dress of ,miss ---- having fallen from her shoulders1 disclosed the delicate beauty of the uncovered arm and hand1 which she was eagerly extending towards the marble before her4 ,remain just as you now stand1 for a moment1 said ,i1 and let me see what ,i can do for you4 ,miss ----1 ,i asked1 advancing towards my fair friend1 will you let me invite your attention to this new study8 ,it is entitled ',the ,artist's ,prayer1' and is supposed to impersonate the petition1 ',petrify it1 ,o1 ye gods6' ,of course1 this led to a brief and laughing explanation4 ,happily1 no earthly ,powers can achieve that transformation6 exclaimed the ,lucifer of the ,coliseum1 who was present1 but all will join in the entreaty that we may be permitted to possess an imitation of so beautiful an original4 ,i am not permitted to disclose the secrets of the inner temple2 but many of you will yet behold the loveliness that so charmed the lovers of art1 moulded into eternal marble4 ,,letter ,,vi4 ,,manner1 ,,continued4 ,,rules ,,for ,,visiting1 ,,and ,,for ,,manner ,,in ,,society ,,generally4 ,,my ,,dear ,,nephews3 ,having attempted1 in my last two letters1 with what success you will best judge1 to give you some practical hints respecting manner at home and in the street1 suppose we take up1 next1 the consideration of the conduct proper in ,visiting1 and on public occasions1 generally4 ,among the minor obligations of social life1 perhaps few things are regarded as more formidable by the unpractised1 than ceremonious morning visits to ladies4 ,and perhaps1 among the simple occurrences of ordinary existence1 few serve more fully to illustrate individual tact1 self-possession1 and conversational skill4 ,without aiming at much method in so doing1 ,i will endeavor to furnish you with a few directions of general applicability4 ,hours for making morning calls are somewhat varied by place and circumstance2 but1 as a rule1 twelve o'clock is the earliest hour at which it is admissible to make a visit of ceremony4 ,from that time until near the prevailing dinner-hour1 in a small town1 or that known to be such in particular instances1 one may suit one's convenience4 ,it is obviously unsuitable1 usually1 to prolong an interview of this kind beyond a very moderate length1 and hence1 as well as for other reasons1 the conversation should be light1 varied1 and appropriate to outward circumstances4 ,it is proper to send your card1 not only to announce yourself to strangers to whom you may wish to pay your respects1 but to all ladies with whom you are not upon very intimate terms1 and at a private house1 to designate intelligibly to the servant who receives your card1 the individual1 or the several persons1 whom you wish to see4 ,if you go to a hotel1 etc41 for this purpose1 write the name of the lady or ladies1 for whom your visit is designed1 upon your card1 above your own name1 in a legible manner1 and await the return of the messenger1 to whom you intrust it1 where you part from him4 ,if1 upon his return1 you are to remain for your friends1 and there be a choice of apartments for that purpose1 unless you choose to station yourself within sight of the stairs they must of need descend1 or the corridor through which they must pass1 let the porter in attendance distinctly understand not only your name1 but where you are to be found1 and if possible1 give him some clue to the identification of the friends you wish to see4 ,after a few vexatious mistakes and misapprehensions1 you will admit the wisdom of these precautionary measures1 ,i have no doubt4 ,when you are shown into the drawing-room of a private residence1 if the mistress of the mansion is present1 at once advance towards her4 ,should she offer her hand1 be prompt to receive it1 and for this purpose1 take your hat1 stick1 and right-hand glove 7unless an occasion of extreme ceremony demands your wearing the latter71 in your left hand1 as you enter4 ,if your hostess does not offer her hand1 when she rises to receive you1 simply bow1 as you pay your compliments1 and take the seat she designates1 or that the servant places for you4 ,when there are other ladies of the same family present1 speak to each1 in succession1 according to age1 or other proper precedence1 before you seat yourself4 ,if there are ladies in the room whom you do not know1 bow slightly to them1 also1 and if you are introduced1 after you have assumed a seat1 rise and bow to them4 ,when men are introduced1 they usually mutually advance and shake hands2 but the intimation that this will be agreeable to her1 should always be the test when you are presented to a lady1 or when you address a lady acquaintance4 ,some tact is necessary in deciding your movements when you find yourself preceded by other visitors1 in making a morning call4 ,if you have no special reason1 as a message to deliver1 or an appointment to make1 for lingering1 and discover that you are interrupting a circle1 or when you are in the midst of strangers1 where the conversation does not at once become general1 upon your making one of them1 address a few polite phrases to your hostess1 if you can do so with ease and propriety from your position with regard to her1 and take leave1 approaching her nearly enough1 when you rise to go1 to make your adieu audible1 or to receive her hand1 should she offer it4 ,to strangers1 even when you have been introduced1 you1 ordinarily1 only bow passingly1 as you are about to quit the room4 ,should you have a special object in calling upon a lady1 keep it carefully in view1 that you may accomplish it before you leave her presence4 ,when other visitors1 or some similar circumstance1 interfere with the accomplishment of your purpose1 you may write what you wish upon a card in the hall1 as you go out1 and intrust it to a servant1 or leave a message with him1 or in case of there being objections to either of those methods of communication1 resort to an appointment requested through him1 or subsequently write a note to that effect1 or containing an explanation of the object of your visit4 ,when you determine to outstay others at a morning reception1 upon the rising of ladies to depart1 you rise also1 under all circumstances2 and when they are acquaintances1 and unattended by a gentleman1 accompany them to the street-door1 and to their carriage1 if they are driving1 and then return to your hostess4 ,unacquainted1 you simply stand until ladies leave the room1 politely returning their parting salutation1 if they make one4 ,any appearance of a wish on the part of those whom you chance to meet thus1 for an aside conversation1 will1 of course1 suggest the propriety of occupying yourself until your hostess is at leisure1 with some subject of interest in the room--turn to a picture1 open a book1 examine some article of bijouterie1 and1 thus civilly unobtrusive1 observe only when it is proper for you to notice the separation of the company4 ,as ,i have before said1 in making a visit of mere politeness1 some passing topic of interest should succeed the courteous inquiries1 etc41 that naturally commence the conversation4 ,visiting a lady practised in the usages of society1 relieves one1 very naturally1 from any necessity for leading the conversation4 ,when your object is to make an appointment1 give an invitation1 etc41 repeat the arrangement finally agreed upon1 distinctly and deliberately1 upon rising to go away1 that both parties may distinctly understand it1 beyond the possibility of mistake4 ,in attending ladies who are making morning visits1 it is proper to assist them up the steps1 ring the bell1 write cards1 etc4 ,entering1 always follow them into the house and into the drawing-room1 and wait until they have finished their salutations1 unless you have to perform the part of presenting them4 ,in that case1 you enter with them1 or stand within the door until they have entered1 and advance beside them into the apartment4 ,ladies should always be the first to rise1 in terminating a visit1 and when they have made their adieux1 their cavaliers repeat the ceremony1 and follow them out4 ,when gentlemen call together1 the younger1 or least in rank1 gives careful precedence to others1 rendering them courtesies similar to those due to ladies4 ,soiled over-shoes1 or wet over-garments1 should1 on no account1 be worn into an apartment devoted to the use of ladies1 unless they cannot be safely left outside--as in the passage of a public house4 ,in such case1 by no means omit an apology for the necessary discourtesy4 ,when ladies are not in the apartment where you are to pay your respects to them1 advance to meet them upon their entrance2 and in the public room of a hotel1 meet them as near the door as possible1 especially if there is no gentleman with them1 or the room be previously occupied1 and conduct them to seats4 ,never remain seated in the company of ladies with whom you are ceremoniously associated1 while they are standing4 ,follow them to any object of interest to which they direct your attention2 place a seat for them1 if much time will be required for such a purpose2 ring the bell1 bring a book2 in short1 courteously relieve them from whatever may be supposed to involve effort1 fatigue1 or discomfort of any kind4 ,it is1 for this reason1 eminently suitable to offer the arm to ladies when ascending stairs4 ,nothing is more absurd than the habit of preceding them adopted by some men--as if by following just behind1 as one should1 if the arm is disengaged1 there can be any violation of propriety4 ,soiled frills or unmended hose must have originated this vulgarity6 ,tender the arm on the wall side of a lady1 mounting a stairs1 that she may have the benefit of the railing1 and the fewer steps upon a landing2 and in assisting an invalid1 or aged person1 it is often well to keep one step in advance4 ,it is always decorous to suit your pace to those you would assist4 ,it is also a proper courtesy1 always to relieve ladies of their parcels1 parasols1 shawls1 etc41 when ever this will conduce to their convenience1 which is especially the case1 of course1 when they are occupied with the care of their dresses in ascending steps1 entering a carriage1 or passing through a crowd4 ,the rules of etiquette properly observable in making ordinary ceremonious morning-visits1 are also applicable to ,morning ,wedding-,receptions with slight variations4 ,of course1 you do not then announce yourself by a card4 ,when previously acquainted with her1 you advance immediately to the bride1 and offer your wishes for her future happiness4 ,never congratulate a lady upon her marriage2 such felicitations are1 with good taste1 tendered to the bridegroom1 not to the bride4 ,having paid your compliments to the bride1 you shake hands with the groom1 and bow to the bride-maids1 when you know them4 ,the mother of the bride should then be sought4 ,here1 again refinement dictates the avoidance of too eager congratulations4 ,while expressing a cordial hope that the parents have added to their prospects of future pleasure in receiving a new member into their family1 do not insinuate1 by your manner1 the conviction that they have no natural regret at resigning their daughter ,to another path and guide1 ,to a bosom yet untried4 ,it is not usual to sit down on such occasions2 and it is as obviously unsuitable to remain long1 as it is to engage the attention of those whom others may be waiting to approach1 beyond the utterance of a few brief1 well-chosen sentences4 ,when you require an introduction to the bride1 but are acquainted with her husband1 you may speak first to him1 and so secure a presentation4 ,usually a groomsman1 or some other gentleman1 is in readiness to present unknown visitors4 ,in that case1 should he1 too1 be a stranger to you1 mention your name to him1 and any little circumstance by which he may afford a passing theme or explanation1 when he introduces you--as1 that you are a friend of her father--promised your particular friend1 her sister1 to pay your respects1 etc4 ,on this1 as in the instance of all similar occasions1 tact and good-taste must suggest the variations of manner required by the greater or less degree of ceremony prevailing1 and your individual relations to those you visit4 ,in this connection ,i will add that a card may sometimes be properly made a substitute for paying one's respects in person--with a pencilled phrase of politeness1 or accompanied by a note4 ,in either case1 an envelope of the most unexceptionable kind should be used1 and a note written with equal attention to ceremony4 ,a ,visit of ,condolence is often most tastefully made by going in person to the residence of your friend1 and leaving a courteous message1 and your card1 with a servant4 ,much politeness is sometimes expressed by the earliest possible call upon friends just arrived from a journey1 etc41 or by leaving or sending a card1 with a pencilled expression of pleasure1 and of the intention of availing yourself of the first suitable moment for paying your compliments in person4 ,visits upon ,new-,year's ,day should be short1 as a rule1 for the reasons before suggested1 and it is not usual to sit down1 except when old friends urge it1 or when the presence of an elderly person1 or an invalid1 demands the appearance of peculiar consideration4 ,on all occasions of ceremonious intercourse with superiors in age and station1 one or both1 manner should be regulated1 as respects familiarity1 or even cordiality1 by them4 ,he approached me with familiarity1 ,i repulsed him with ceremony1 said a man of rank1 alluding to an impertinence of this kind4 ,never be the first1 under such circumstances1 to violate the strict rules of convention4 ,their observance is often the safeguard of sensibility1 as well as of self-respect4 ,simple good-taste will dictate the most quiet1 unnoticeable bearing at ,church4 ,the saying of the celebrated ,mrs4 ,chapone1 that it was part of her religion not to disturb the religion of others1 is all inclusive4 ,to enter early enough to be fully established in one's seat before the service commences1 to attend politely1 but very unostentatiously1 to the little courtesies that may render others comfortable1 to avoid all rude staring1 and all appearance of inattention to the proper occupations of the occasion1 as well as every semblance of irreverence1 will occur to all well-bred persons as obviously required by decorum4 ,when necessitated to go late to church1 one should1 as on all similar occasions1 endeavor to disturb others as little as possible2 but with equal studiousness avoid the vulgar exhibition of discomposure1 of over-diffidence1 or of any consciousness1 indeed1 of being observed1 which so unmistakably savors of low-breeding4 ,i cannot too frequently remind you that self-possession is one of the grand distinctive attributes of a gentleman1 and that it is often best illustrated by a simple1 quiet1 successful manner of meeting the exigencies and peculiarities of circumstances4 ,never wear your hat into church4 ,remove it in the vestibule1 and on no account resume it until you return thither1 unless health imperatively demands your doing so just before reaching the door opening into it4 ,all nodding1 whispering1 and exchanging of glances in church1 is in bad taste4 ,even the latter should not be indulged in1 unless a very charming woman is the provoking cause of the peccadillo1 and then very stealthily and circumspectly6 ,salutations1 even with intimate friends1 should always be very quietly exchanged1 while one is still within the body of the sacred edifice1 and the outer court of the house of ,god were better not the scene of boisterous mirth1 or rude jostling4 ,let me add1 here1 that it is always proper1 when compelled to hurry past those of right before you1 at church1 or elsewhere in a crowd1 to apologize1 briefly1 but politely1 for discommoding any one4 ,whenever you are in attendance upon ladies1 as at the opera1 concerts1 lectures1 etc41 there is entire propriety in remaining with them in the seat you have paid for1 or secured by early attendance4 ,no gentleman should be expected to separate himself from a party to give his place to a lady under such circumstances1 and in no country but ours would such a request or intimation be made4 ,but while it is quite justifiable to retain the seat taken upon entering such a public place1 nothing is more wholly inadmissible than crowding in and out of your place repeatedly1 talking and laughing aloud1 mistimed applauding1 and the like4 ,if you are not present for the simple purpose of witnessing the performance1 whatever it may be1 there are1 doubtless1 those who are2 and it is not only exceedingly vulgar1 but immoral1 to invade their rights in this regard4 ,be careful1 therefore1 to secure your libretto1 concert-bill1 or programme1 as the case may be1 before assuming your seat2 and when you have ladies with you1 or are one of a party1 especially1 as then you cannot so readily accept the penalty of carelessness1 by not returning to your first seat4 ,should any unforeseen necessity compel you to crowd past others1 and afterwards resume your seat1 presume as little as possible upon their polite forbearance1 by great care of dresses1 toes1 etc41 and each time politely apologize for the inconvenience you occasion4 ,let me repeat that no excuse exists for the too-frequent rudeness of disturbing others by fidgeting1 whispering1 laughing1 or applauding out of time4 ,and even when standing or moving about between the exercises1 on any public occasion1 or the acts at a play-house1 or opera1 well-bred people are never disregardful of the rights and comfort of others4 ,in a picture-gallery1 at an exhibition of marbles1 etc41 nothing can be more indicative of a want of refinement sufficient to appreciate true art1 than the impertinence exhibited in audible comments upon the subjects before you1 and in interfering with the enjoyment of others by passing before them1 moving seats noisily1 talking and laughing aloud1 etc4 ,with persons of taste and refinement1 there is an almost religious sacredness in the presence of the creations of genius1 to desecrate which1 is as vulgar as it is irreverential of the beautiful and the good4 ,always then1 carry out the most scrupulous regard of the rights and feelings of others1 when yourself a devotee at the shrine of ,a,esthetics1 by attention to the minutest forms of courtesy4 ,this will dictate leaving your place the moment you rise1 carrying everything with you belonging to you1 and never stopping to shawl ladies1 don an overcoat1 or dispose of an opera-glass1 until you can do so without interrupting the comfort of those you leave behind you4 ,when you wish to take refreshments1 or to offer them to ladies1 at public entertainments1 it is better to repair to the place where they are served1 as a rule1 unless it be in the instance of a single glass of water1 or the like2 except when a party occupy an opera-box1 etc41 exclusively4 ,be careful never to attach yourself to a party of which you were not originally one1 at any time1 or place1 unless fully assured of its being agreeable to the gentlemen previously associated with ladies2 or if a gentleman's party only1 attracts you1 make yourself quite sure that no peccadillo be involved in your joining it1 and in either case1 let your manner indicate your remembrance of the circumstance of your properly standing in the relation of a recipient of the civilities due to the occasion4 ,some men practically adopt the opinion that the courteous observances of social and domestic life are wholly inapplicable to business intercourse4 ,a little consideration will prove this a solecism4 ,good breeding is not a thing to be put off and on with varying outward circumstance4 ,if genuine1 inherent1 it will always exhibit itself as certainly as integrity1 or any other unalienable quality of an individual4 ,the manifestations of this characteristic by manner1 will1 of course1 vary with occasion1 but it will1 nevertheless1 be apparent at all times1 and to all observers1 when its legitimate influence is rightly understood and admitted4 ,hence1 then1 though the observance of elaborate ceremony in the more practical associations of busy outer life would be absurdly inappropriate1 that careful respect for the rights and feelings of others1 which is the basis of all true politeness1 should not1 under these circumstances1 be disregarded4 ,the secret of the superior popularity of some business men with their compeers and employes1 lies often1 rather in manner than in any other characteristic4 ,you may observe1 in one instance1 a universal favorite1 to whom all his associates extend a welcoming hand1 as though there were magic in the ready smile and genial manner1 and who is served by his inferiors in station with cheerfulness and alacrity1 indicating that a little more than a mere business bond draws them to him2 and again1 an upright1 but externally-repulsive man1 though always commanding respect from his compeers1 holds them aloof by his frigidity1 and receives the service of fear rather than of love from those to whom he may be always just1 and even humane1 if never sympathizing and unbending4 ,as ,i have before remarked1 there is no occasion where we are associated with others1 that does not demand the exhibition of a polite manner4 ,thus at a public table1 no man should allow himself to feed like a mere animal1 wholly disregardful of those about him1 and1 as too frequently happens1 forgetful of the proprieties that are observed when eating in private4 ,only at the best conducted hotels are all things so well and liberally appointed as to render those who meet at public tables wholly independent of each in little matters of comfort and convenience1 and a well-bred man may be recognized there1 as everywhere else1 by his manner to those who may chance to be near him4 ,he will neither call loudly to a servant1 nor monopolize the services that should be divided with others4 ,his quick eye will discern a lady alone1 or an invalid1 and his ready courtesy supply a want1 or proffer a civility1 and he will not grudge a little self-denial1 or a few minutes' time1 in exchange for the consciousness of being true to himself1 even in trifles4 ,nor will he ever eat as though running a race of life and death with ,time6 ,health and decency will alike prompt him to abstain wholly from attempting to take a meal1 rather than assimilate himself to a ravenous brute1 to gratify his appetite4 ,let no plea of want of time ever induce you1 ,i entreat1 to acquire the ,american habit of thus eating in public4 ,even in the compulsatory haste of travelling1 there is no valid excuse for this unhealthy and disgusting practice4 ,and1 with regard to daily life at one's hotel1 or the like1 the man who is habitually regardful of the value and right use of time1 may well and wisely permit himself the simple indulgence and relaxation of eating like a gentleman6 ,while on this subject1 permit me to remind you of the impropriety of staring at strangers1 listening to conversation in which you have no part1 commenting audibly upon others1 laughing and talking boisterously1 etc41 etc4 ,let not even admiration tempt you to put a modest woman out of countenance1 by a too fixed regard1 nor let her even suspect that a nod1 a shrug1 a significant whisper or glance had her for their object4 ,good-breeding requires one to hear as little as possible of the conversation of strangers1 near whom he may chance to be seated4 ,we quietly ignore their presence 7as they should ours71 unless some exigency demands a courtesy2 but we do not disturb our neighbors by vociferousness1 even in the height of merriment1 however harmless in itself4 ,should a lady1 even though an entire stranger1 be entering an eating-hall alone1 or attended by another gentleman1 at the same moment with yourself1 give precedence to her1 with a slight bow2 and so1 when quitting the room1 as well as to your acknowledged superiors in age or position generally1 and carefully avoid such self-engrossment as shall engender inattention to their observances4 ,so1 too1 when meeting a lady on a public stairs1 or in a passage-way1 give place sufficiently to allow her to pass readily1 touching your hat at the same moment4 ,in the same manner remove a chair1 or other obstacle that obstructs the way of a lady in a hotel parlor1 or on a piazza2 avoid placing a seat so as to crowd a lady1 encroach upon a party1 or compel you to sit before others4 ,i admit that these are the minutiae of manners1 my dear fellows2 but attention to them will increase your self-respect1 and give elevation to your general character1 just in proportion as self is subdued1 and the baser propensities of our nature kept habitually in subserviency to the nobler qualities illustrated by habitual good-breeding4 ,but to return4 ,though the circumstances must be peculiar that sanction your addressing a lady with whom you are unacquainted1 in a public parlor1 or the like1 you are not required by convention to appear so wholly unconscious of her presence as to retain your seat just in front of the only fire in the room on a cold day1 in the only comfortable chair1 or a place so near the only airy window on a hot one1 as to preclude her approach to it4 ,nor are you bound to sit in one seat and keep your legs across another1 on the deck of a steamer1 in a railroad car1 in a tavern1 at a public exhibition1 while women stand near you1 compelled by your not knowing them6 ,let me hope1 too1 that no kinsman of mine will ever feel an inclination1 when appealed to for information in some practical emergency1 by one of the dependent sex1 to repulse her with laconic coldness1 though the appeal should chance when he is hurrying along the public highway of life1 or through the most secluded of its by-paths4 ,few young men1 ,i must believe1 ever remember when in a large hotel1 at night1 with their companions1 that--opening into the corridors through which they tramp like a body of mounted cavalry upon a foray1 with appropriate musical accompaniments--may be the apartments of the weary and the sick2 or1 that1 separated from the room in which they prolong their nocturnal revels1 by only the thinnest of partitions1 lies a timid and lonely woman1 shrinking and trembling more and more nervously at each successive burst of mirth and song1 or worse1 that effectually robs her of repose4 ,yet ,sir ,walter ,raleigh1 or ,sir ,philip ,sidney1 might1 perchance1 have thought even such a trifling peccadillo not un-note-worthy4 ,the same general rules that are applicable to manner in public places1 at hotels1 etc41 are almost equally so in travelling1 modified only by circumstances and good sense4 ,a due consideration for the rights and feelings of others1 will be a better guide to true politeness than a whole battery of conventionalisms4 ,courtesy to ladies1 to age1 to the suffering1 will here1 as ever1 mark the true gentleman1 as well as that habitual refinement which interdicts the offensive use of tobacco1 where women sit or stand1 or any other slovenliness or indecorum4 ,under such circumstances1 as many others in real life1 never let cold ceremony deter you from rendering a real service to a fellow-being1 though you readily avail yourself of its barriers to repel impertinence or vulgarity4 ,it is authentically recorded of one of the loyal subjects of the little crowned lady over the ocean1 that1 as soon as he was restored to the privileges of civilization1 after having been cast away upon a desert island with only one other person1 he at once challenged his companion in misfortune for having spoken to him1 during their mutual exile1 without an introduction6 ,should you indulge in any skepticism respecting the literal truthfulness of this historical record1 ,i can personally vouch for the following3 ,our eccentric and unhappy countryman1 the gifted poet1 ,p----1 was once1 while travelling1 roused from a moody and absorbing reverie1 by the address of a stranger1 who said3 ,sir1 ,i am ,mr4 ,w----1 the author--you have no doubt heard of me4 ,the dreamy eye of the contemplative solitaire lighted with a sudden fire1 as he deliberately scrutinized the intruder1 then quickly contracting each feature so that his physiognomy changed at once to a very respectable imitation of a spy-glass1 he coolly inquired3 ,who the devil did you say you are8 ,practice and tact combined1 can alone give a man ease and grace of manner amid the varying demands of social life1 but systematic attention to details will soon simplify whatever may seem formidable in regard to it4 ,no one but a fool or a monomaniac goes on stumbling through his allotted portion of existence1 when he may easily learn to go without stumbling at all1 or only occasionally4 ,thus1 after experiencing the embarrassment of keeping ladies1 with whom you have been driving in a hired carriage1 standing in the rain1 or sun1 or in a jostling crowd1 while you are waiting for change to pay your coach1 or submitting to extortion1 or searching for your purse1 you will1 perhaps1 resolve1 when you are next so circumstanced1 to ascertain before-hand1 if possible1 exactly what you should lawfully pay1 to have your money ready before reaching your final destination1 and to leave the ladies seated in quiet while you alight1 pay your fare and then secure shawls1 etc41 and make every other arrangement and inquiry that will facilitate their speedy and comfortable transit from the carriage4 ,thus much for manner in public4 ,now then1 a few words relative to the bearing proper in social intercourse1 and ,i will release you4 ,in the character of ,host1 much is requisite that would be unsuitable elsewhere1 since the youngest and most modest man must1 of necessity1 then take the lead4 ,thus1 when you have guests at dinner1 some care and tact are required in the simple matter1 even1 of disposing of your visitors with due regard to proper precedents4 ,of course1 when there are only men present1 you desire him whom you wish to distinguish1 to conduct the mistress of the mansion to the table1 and are1 yourself1 the last to enter the dining-room4 ,when there are ladies1 the place of honor accorded to age1 rank1 or by some temporary relative circumstance1 is designated as being at your right hand1 and you precede your other guests1 in attendance upon such a lady4 ,a stranger lady1 for whom an entertainment is given1 should be met by her host before she enters the drawing-room1 and conducted to the hostess4 ,a gentleman1 under similar circumstances1 must be received at the door of the reception-room4 ,in both instances1 introductions should at once be given to those who are invited to meet such guests4 ,persons living in large cities may1 if they possess requisite pecuniary means1 always procure servants so fully acquainted with the duties properly belonging to them as to relieve themselves1 when they have visitors1 from all attention to the details of the table4 ,but it is only in the best appointed establishments that hospitality does not enjoin some regard to these matters4 ,it may be unfashionable to keep an eye to the comfort of one's friends1 when we are favored with their company1 to consult their tastes1 to humor their peculiarities1 to convince them1 by a thousand nameless acts of consideration and deference1 that we have pleasure in rendering them honor due2--this may not be in strict accordance with the cold ceremony of modern fashion1 but it1 nevertheless1 illustrates one of the most beautiful of characteristics--one ranked by the ancients as a virtue--,hospitality6 ,permit me1 also1 to remind you that sometimes the most worthy people are not high-bred--not familiar with conventional proprieties2 that they even have a dread of them1 on account of this ignorance2 and that they are1 therefore1 not fit subjects towards whom to display strict ceremony1 or from whom to expect it4 ,but always remember1 that1 though they may not understand conventionalisms1 they will fully appreciate genuine kindness1 the talismanic charm that will always place the humblest and most self distrustful guest at ease4 ,and never let a vulgar1 degrading fear of compromising your claims to gentility1 tempt you to the inhumanity of wounding the feelings of the humblest of your humble friends6 ,if you have a large rout at your house1 it will1 necessarily1 be impossible for you to render special attention to each guest2 but you should1 notwithstanding1 quietly endeavor to promote the enjoyment of the company1 by bringing such persons together as are best suited to the appreciation of each other's society1 by drawing out the diffident1 tendering some civility to an elderly1 or particularly unassuming visitor1 and1 in short1 by a manner that1 without in any degree savoring of over-solicitude1 or bustling self-importance1 shall save you from a fate similar to that of a gentleman of whom ,i lately read the following anecdote3 ,a stranger at a large party1 observing a gentleman leaning upon the corner of a mantel-piece1 with a peculiarly melancholy expression of countenance1 accosted him thus3--,sir1 as we both seem to be entire strangers to all here1 suppose we both return home8 ,he addressed his host6 ,in general society1 do not let your pleasure in the conversation of one person whom you may chance to meet1 or your being attached to a pleasant party1 tempt you to forget the respect due to other friends1 who may be present4 ,married ladies1 whose hospitalities you have shared1 strangers who possess a claim upon you1 through your relations with mutual friends1 gentlemen whose politeness has been socially extended to you1 should never be rudely overlooked1 or discourteously neglected4 ,such a manner would indicate rather a vulgar eagerness for selfish enjoyment than the collected self-possession1 the well-sustained good-breeding1 of a man of the world4 ,do not let a sudden attack of the modesty suitable to youth and insignificance1 induce you to regard those proprieties as of no importance in your particular case--exclaiming1 ,what's ,hecuba to me1 or ,i to ,hecuba8 ,believe me1 no one is so unimportant as to be unable to give pleasure by politeness2 and no one having a place in society1 has a right to self-abnegation in this respect4 99 99 99 99 99 ,husband1 do you know a young ,mr4 ,v----1 in society here--a lawyer1 ,i think8 inquired a lady-friend of mine1 of a distinguished member of the ,legislature of our ,state1 with whom ,i was dining1 at his hotel4 ,v----8 ,that ,i do6 and a right clever fellow he is3--why1 my dear8 ,oh1 nothing1 ,i met him somewhere the other morning1 and was struck with his pleasing manners4 ,this morning ,i was really indebted to his politeness4 ,you know how slippery it was--well1 ,i had been at ,mrs4 ,s----'s reception1 and was just hesitating on the top of the steps1 on coming away1 afraid to call the man from his horses1 and fearful of venturing down alone1 when ,mr4 ,v---- ran up1 like a chamois-hunter1 and offered his assistance4 ,he not only escorted me to the sleigh1 but tucked up the furs1 gave me my muff1 and inquired for your health with such good-humor and cordiality as really quite won my heart6 ,i should be exceedingly jealous1 were it not that he made exactly the same impression upon me1 a few evenings before you joined me here4 ,it was at ,miss ,t----'s wedding4 ,of course1 ,i had a card of invitation to the reception1 after the ceremony1 but1 disliking crowds as ,i do1 and as you were not here1 ,i decided not to go4--,the truth is1 ,colonel1 turning to me we backwoodsmen are a little shy of these grand state occasions of ceremony and parade4-- ,backwoodsmen1 as you are pleased to term them1 sometimes confer far more honor upon such occasions than they upon him1 returned ,i4 ,you are very polite1 sir4 ,well1 as ,i was saying1 in the morning ,i met the bride's father1 who was one of my early college friends1 in the street1 and he urged me1 with such old-fashioned1 hearty cordiality to come1 that ,i began to think the homely charm of hospitality might not be wholly lacking1 even at a fashionable entertainment1 in this most fashionable city4 ,so the upshot of the matter was my going1 though with some misgivings about my court-costume1 as my guardian-angel had deserted me4 ,really1 boys1 ,i wish you could have seen the chivalrous courtesy that lighted the fine eye and shone over the manner of the speaker1 as1 with these last words1 he bowed to the fair companion of his life for something like half a century4 ,you forget1 my dear1 rejoined the lady1 as a soft smile1 and a softer blush stole over her still beautiful face1 that ,mrs4 ,m---- wrote me you were quite the lion of the occasion1 and that half the young ladies present1 including the bride herself1 were-- ,my dear6 ,i cry you mercy6--,bless my soul6--an old fellow like me6---- ,but ,k----1 my dear friend1 ,i exclaimed1 don't be personal---- ,lunettes1 you were always1 and still are1 irresistible with the ladies1 but--you are an exception4 ,i protest6 cried ,mrs4 ,k----1 joining in our laughter1 ,mr4 ,clay1 to his latest day1 was in high favor with ladies1 young and old--there was no withstanding the charm of his manner4 ,at ,washington1 one winter that ,i spent there1 wherever ,i met him1 he was encircled by the fairest and most distinguished of our sex1 all seeming to vie with each other for his attentions--and this was not because of his political rank1 for others in high position did not share his popularity2--it was his grace1 his courtesy1 his je ne sais quoi1 as the ,french say4 ,mr4 ,clay was as remarkable for quiet self-possession and tact1 in social as in public life1 said ,i4 ,when ,i had the honor to be his colleague1 ,i often had occasion to observe and admire both4 ,i remember once being a good deal amused by a little scene between him and a ,miss ----1 then a reigning belle at ,washington1 and a great favorite of ,mr4 ,clay's4 ,returning late one night from the ,capitol1 excessively fatigued by a long and exciting debate1 in which he had borne an active part1 he dropped into the ladies' parlor of our hotel1 on his way up stairs1 hoping1 ,i dare say1 ,mrs4 ,k41 to enjoy the soothing influence of gentler smiles and tones than those he had left4 ,the room was almost deserted1 but1 ensconced in one corner of a long1 old-fashioned sofa1 sat ,miss ----1 reading4 ,his keen eye detected his fair friend in a moment1 and his lagging step quickened as he approached her4 ,a younger and handsomer man might well have envied the warm welcome he received4 ,after sitting a moment beside the lady1 ,mr4 ,clay said1 abruptly3-- ',miss ----1 what is your definition of true politeness8' ',perfect ease1' she replied4 ',i have the honor to agree with you1 madam1 and1 with your entire permission1 will take leave to assume the correctness of this position6' ,as he spoke1 with a dextrous movement1 the statesman disposed a large cushion near ,miss ----'s end of the sofa1 and simultaneously1 down went his head upon the cushion1 and up went his heels at the other extreme of the sofa6 ,but1 my dear fellow1 we are losing your adventures at the great wedding party1 all this time---- ,very true1 my dear1 added ,mrs4 ,k----1 wiping her eyes1 you fell in love with ,mr4 ,v----1 you know-- ,oh1 yes1 returned my host1 ,i did1 indeed2 but ,i had no adventures1 in particular4 ,v---- was one of the aids-de-camp1 on the occasion1 as ,i knew by the white love-knot 7what is the fashionable name1 wife87 he wore on his breast4 ,he was in the hall when ,i came down stairs1 to act in his office of groomsman4 ,upon seeing me1 he advanced1 and asked whether he could be of any service to me4 ,i explained1 while ,i drew on my gloves1 that ,i did not know the bride1 and feared that even her mother might have forgotten an early friend4 ,his young eyes found the button of my glove quicker than mine1 and as he released my hand1 he said1 showing a sad rent in his own1 you are fortunate in not having split them1 sir1--but you gentlemen of the old school1 he added with a respectful bow1 always surpass us youngsters in matters of dress1 as well as everything else4 ,as he said this1 the young rogue glanced politely over my plain black suit1 and offered me his arm as deferentially as though ,i had been an ,ex-,president1 at least2 and so on1 throughout the evening1 with apparent unconsciousness of self4 ,i should have thought him wholly devoted to my enjoyment of everything and everybody1 had ,i not observed that others1 equally1 or more1 in need of his attention than ,i1 shared his courtesy--from an elderly lady in a huge church-tower of a cap1 who seemed fearfully exercised less she should not secure her full share of the wedding-cake boxes1 to one of the little sisters of the bride1 who clung to her dress and sobbed as if her heart must break--all seemed to like him and depend on him4 ,i have not the pleasure of ,mr4 ,v----'s acquaintance1 said ,i1 but ,i prophesy that he will succeed in life6 ,yes1 and make friends at every step6 responded ,mrs4 ,k----1 warmly4 ,after we parted this morning1 ,i had an agreeable sort of half-consciousness that something pleasant had happened to me1 and when ,i analised the feeling1 ,wordsworth's lines seemed to have been impersonated to me3-- ',a face with gladness overspread6 ,soft smiles1 by human kindness bred6 ,and seemliness complete1 that sways ,thy courtesies1 about thee plays6' 99 99 99 99 99 ,i have known few persons with as exquisite aesthetical perceptions as my lovely friend ,minnie4 ,so ,i promised myself great pleasure in taking her to see ,cole's celebrated series of pictures--,,the ,,course ,,of ,,time4 ,it was soon after ,cole's lamented death2 and1 as ,minnie had been some time living where she was deprived of such enjoyments1 she had never seen these fine pictures4 ,as we drove along towards the ,art ,union ,gallery1 the fair enthusiast was all eager expectation4 ,how often my kind friend ,mr4 ,s---- ,b4 ,r----1 used to talk to me of ,cole1 said she1 and promise me the pleasure of knowing him4 ,when he died ,i felt as though ,i had lost a dear friend1 as ,i had indeed1 for all who worship art1 have a friend in each child of genius4 ,cole was emphatically one of these1 returned ,i1 as his conceptions alone prove4 ,yes1 indeed1 replied ,minnie1 ,i always think of him as the poet-painter1 since ,i saw his first series--the ',progress of ,empire4' ,only a poet's imagination could conceive his subjects4 ,i placed my sweet friend in the most favorable position for enjoying each picture in succession1 and seated myself at her side1 rather for the gratification of listening to the low murmurs of delight that should be breathed by her kindred soul1 than to view the painter's skill1 as that no longer possessed the attraction of novelty for me4 ,we had just come to the sublime portraiture of ,manhood1 and ,minnie seemed wholly absorbed in her own thoughts and imaginings4 ,suddenly a silly giggle broke the charmed stillness4 ,the ,devotee of the ,beautiful started1 as if abruptly awakened from a dream1 and a slight shiver ran through her sensitive frame4 ,turning1 ,i perceived1 standing close behind us1 a group of young persons1 chattering and laughing1 and pointing to different parts of the picture before us4 ,their platitudes were not1 perhaps1 especially stupid1 nor were they more noisy and rude than ,i have known free-born republicans before1 under somewhat similar circumstances2 but poor ,minnie endured absolute torture2 her idealized delight vanished before a coarse reality4 ,i well remember the imploring and distressed look with which she whispered3 ,let us go1 dear ,colonel2 and one glance at her pale face satisfied me that the spell was irrevocably broken for her1 and that her long anticipated joy1 in beholding a thing of beauty had indeed been cruelly alloyed4 ,if my memory serves me aright1 ,i told you something1 in a former letter1 of an interesting lady1 a friend of mine1 whose husband was shot all to pieces in the ,mexican ,war1 and after lying for many months in an almost hopeless condition1 finally so far recovered as to be removed to the sea-board1 to take ship for ,new ,orleans4 ,when informed of this1 his beautiful young wife--a belle1 a beauty1 and the petted idol of a large family circle before her marriage--set out1 at mid-winter1 accompanied by one of her brothers and taking with her the infant-child1 whom its soldier-father had never seen1 to meet her husband on his homeward route4 ,this explanation will render intelligible the following incident1 which she herself related to me4 ,my brother remained with us some time at ,new ,orleans1 said the fair narrator2 but1 as ,ernest began to improve1 ,i entreated him to return home1 as both his business and his family demanded his attention2 and you know1 ,colonel ,lunettes1 she added1 with a sad smile1 that a soldier's wife must learn to be brave1 for her own sake as well as for his4 ,ernest had with him an excellent1 faithful servant1 who was fully competent to such service as ,i could not render1 and my little boy's nurse was with me1 of course4 ,so we made our homeward journey by slow stages1 but with less suffering to my husband than we could have hoped1 and ,i grew strong as soon as we were re-united1 and felt adequate to anything1 almost4 ,the fair young creature added the last word with the same mournful smile that had before flitted over her sweet face1 and as if rather in reply to the doubtful expression she read in my countenance1 than from any remembrance of having failed1 in the slightest degree1 in the task of which she spoke4 ,on the night of our arrival at ,a----1 however1 pursued ,mrs4 ,v----1 we seemed to reach such a climax of fatigue and trial1 as to make further endurance literally impossible for poor ,ernest4 ,our little child had been taken ill the day before1 so that ,i could not devote myself so entirely to him as ,i could have wished2 and1 as we drew near home1 his impatience seemed to increase the pain of his wounds1 so that1 on this evening1 he was almost exhausted both in body and mind4 ,we stopped at the ,d---- ,house1 as being nearest the depot1 which was a great point with us2 but such a comfortless1 shiftless place6---- ,an abominable hole6 ,i ejaculated2 one never gets anything fit to eat there6 ,that was the least of our difficulties1 returned the lady1 as we had to leave our man-servant to look after our luggage1 it was with great difficulty that my poor husband was assisted up stairs into the public parlor1 and he almost fainted while ,i gave a few hurried directions about a room4 ,such a scene as it was6 ,the poor baby1 weary and sleepy1 began to cry for mamma1 and nurse had as much as she could do with the care of him4 ,ernest had sunk down upon the only sofa in the room--a huge1 heavy machine of a thing1 that looked as though never designed to be moved from its place against the wall4 ,i gave my husband a restorative1 but in vain4 ,he grew so ghastly pale that----a sob here choked the utterance of the speaker4 ,my dear child1 said ,i1 taking her hand1 do not say another word2 ,i cannot forgive myself for asking you these particulars--all is well now--do not recall the past6 ,excuse me1 dear ,colonel1 ,i wish to tell you1 ,i want you to know1 how we were treated by a brute in human form--to ask you whether you could have believed in the existence of such a being--so utterly destitute of common politeness1 not to say humanity4 ,i hope no one who could aid you1 in this extremity1 failed to do so4 ,you shall hear4 ,ernest was shivering with cold1 as well as exhaustion1 and whispered to me that he would try to sit by the fire until the room was prepared4 ,i looked round the place for an easy-chair2 there was but one1 and that was occupied by a man who was staring at us1 as though we were curiosities exhibited for his especial benefit4 ',ernest1' said ,i aloud1 'you are too weak to sit in one of these chairs without arms1 and with nothing to support your head4' ',i will try1 love1' he replied1 'for ,i am so cold6' ',i will ask that man for his chair1' ,i whispered4 ,poor ,ernest6 his eyes flashed4 ',no6 ,no6' said he1 'if he has not the decency to offer it1 you shall not speak to him6' ,of course1 ,i would not irritate him by opposition1 but placed an ordinary chair before the fire1 and1 supporting him into it1 held his head on my shoulder1 while ,i chafed his benumbed hands4 ,in the meanwhile1 the wail of the baby did not help to quiet us1 nor to shorten the time of waiting2 and it seemed as if ,john would never make his appearance1 nor the room ,i had ordered be prepared4 ,by my direction1 nurse rang the bell4 ,i inquired of the very placid individual who answered it1 whether the room was ready for us1 and upon being told that they were making the fire1 entreated the emblem of serenity to hasten operations1 and at once to bring me a cup of hot tea4 ,minutes seemed hours to me1 as you may suppose1 and the dull eyes that were fastened upon us from the centre of the stuffed chair1 ,i so longed for1 really made me nervous4 ,i felt as though it might be some horrid ghoul1 rather than anything human1 thus looking upon our misery4 ',good ,g----1 ,lu6' said ,ernest1 at last1 'isn't the bed ready yet8' ,i could bear it no longer4 ,gently withdrawing my support from the weary1 weary head1 ,i flew to my boy1 snatched him from nurse1 and signifying my design to her1 we united our powers1 and1 laying baby on the sofa1 we succeeded in pushing it up to the side of the fire-place4 ,then1 while ,i hushed the child on my breast1 we piled up our wrappings and placed my husband upon the couch1 so as to rest his poor wounded frame 7you know1 ,colonel1 his spine was injured74 ,the groan1 half of relief and half of torture1 that broke from his lips1 as he rested his head1 was like to be the 'last straw' that broke my heart--but the soldier's wife6 ,how often did ,i repeat to myself1 during that long journey3 ',remember thou'rt a soldier's wife1 ,those tears but ill become thee6' ,well6 by this time1 ,john made his appearance1 and1 consigning his master temporarily to his care1 ,i took nurse with me1 and went to see what a woman's ready hand could do in expediting matters elsewhere4 ,when showed to the room we were expected to occupy1 ,i found it so filled with smoke1 and so dreadfully cold1 as to be wholly uninhabitable1 and in despair sent for the steward1 or whoever he was1 to whom ,i had given directions at first4 ,no other room with two beds could be secured4 ,by the glimmering light of the small lamp in the hand of the ,irishman1 who was laboring with the attempt at a fire1 ,i investigated a little2 the smouldering coals belched forth volumes of smoke into my face4 ,nothing daunted by this 7'twas not the 'smoke of battle1' though ,i felt as though in the midst of a conflict of life and death71 ,i bade the man remove the blower4 ,behold the draught closed by the strip of stone sometimes used for that purpose1 after a hard coal fire is fully ignited6 ,i think1 ,colonel1 you would have admired the laconic1 imperiously cool tone and manner with which ,i speedily effected the removal of the entire mass of cold hard coal1 substituted for it1 light1 dry wood1 and covering up my boy1 as he still rested in my arms1 dissipated the smoke that contended with the close1 shut-up sort of air in the room1 for disagreeability1 by opening the windows1 had the most comfortable looking of the beds drawn near the fire1 and opened to air and warm1 ordered up the trunks we wanted1 opened them1 hung a warm flannel dressing-gown near the fire1 placed his slippers and everything else ,ernest would want just where they would be wanted1 near the best chair ,i could secure1 and the table that was to receive his supper when he should be ready for it1 and1 in short put the matter through1 as ,ernest would say1 with the speed of desperation4 ,it was wonderful how quickly all this1 and more1 was effected by the people about me chiefly through my ability to tell them exactly what to do and how to do it4 ,excuse me if ,i boast2 it was the deep calmness of despair that inspired me6 ,now ,i can smile at the look of blank amazement with which ,paddy received my announcement of the necessity of taking out all the coals from the grate1 before he could hope to kindle a fire1 and the stare of the man of affairs for the ,d---- ,house1 as he entered upon the field of my efforts to say that tea was ready4 ,there is but one step from the sublime to the ridiculous6 ,i exclaimed1 laughing1 in spite of my sympathy with my fair friend4 ,and what became of the barbarian in the large chair8 ,oh1 when ,i returned to the parlor to have ,ernest removed to our own room1 there he sat1 still1 lolling comfortably back in his chair1 with his hat on1 and his feet laid up before him1 and apparently as much occupied as ever in staring at the strangers1 and no more ',on hospitable thoughts intent' than when ,i quitted the room1 the horrid ghoul6 ,i was so rejoiced to escape with my treasures safe from his blighting gaze6 ,but now for the moral of my story1 dear ,colonel1 for every story has its moral1 ,i suppose1--,john1 ,ernest's man1 told nurse1 who1 by the way1 was so highly indignant on the occasion1 as to assure me afterwards1 that if she had been a man1 she'd have just pitched the selfish brute beast out of the chair1 and taken it for ,mr4 ,v----1 without so much as a 'by your leave4'---- ,i could not refrain from interrupting ,mrs4 ---- to say that ,i thought ,i should have been sorely tempted to some such act myself1 under the circumstances4 ,yes1 pursued ,mrs4 ,v----1 nurse still recurs to that 'awful cold night in ,a----' with an invariable malediction upon the 'bad speret as kept the chair4' ,but1 as ,i was saying1 ,john told her afterwards that the ghoul asked him who that sick gentleman was1 and said that his wife appeared to be in so much trouble that he should have offered to help her along a little1 but he wasn't acquainted with her6 ,uncle ,hal1 isn't an artist a gentleman8 inquired ,blanche of me one morning1 during a recent visit to our great ,commercial ,metropolis1 as the newspaper writers call it4 ,what do you mean1 child1 said ,i1 you cannot mean to ask whether artists rank as gentlemen in society1 for that does not admit of question4 ,i saw there was something troubling her1 the moment she came down1 for she did not welcome her old uncle with her usual sparkling smile1 though she snugged close up to me on the sofa1 and kept my hand in both of hers1 while we were arranging some matters about which ,i had called4 ,is not an engraver an artist8 she inquired1 with increased earnestness of tone4 ,does not an engraver who has a large atelier1 numbers of employes1 and does all kinds of beautiful prints1 heads1 and landscapes1 and elegant figures1 take rank in social life with other gentlemen8 ,certainly1 my dear2 but tell me what you are thinking of2 what troubles you my child8 ,well1 you remember1 dear uncle1 perhaps1 the young orphan boy in whom papa and all of us used to be so interested the summer you spent with us1 long ago1 when we were all children at home4 ,he is now established in this city1 after years of struggle with difficulties that would have crushed a less noble spirit1 and his sisters1 for whom he has always provided1 in a great degree1 though at the cost of almost incredible self-denial1 as ,i happen to know1 are now nearly prepared for teachers4 ,we have always retained our interest in them all2 and they always make us a visit when they are at ,d----4 ,indeed1 papa always says he knows few young men for whom he entertains so high a regard2 and ,i am sure he is very good-looking1 and though he may not be very fashionable1--you needn't smile1 uncle ,hal1 ,i---- ,my dear1 ,i am charmed with your sketch1 and shall go1 at once1 and have my old visage engraved by your handsome artist-friend2 and when ,i publish my auto-biography1 it shall be accompanied by a 'portrait of the author1' superbly engraved by a 'celebrated artist4' ,he is celebrated1 uncle1 really2 you have no idea of the vast number of orders he has from all parts of the country1 nor how beautifully he gets up everything4 ,but ,i must tell you1 proceeded the sensitive little thing1 with more cheerfulness1 for ,i had succeeded in my design of cheering her up a little--,mr4 ,zousky--,henry1 as we always call him1 has been engraving the head of one of our friends at home for a literary affair--some biographical book1 or something of that sort1 and he came up to show me one of the 'first impressions1' as ,i think he calls them1 and to bring a message from his sister1 last evening--wishing me to 'criticise1' he told me1 as he had nothing but rather an indifferent daguerreotype to copy from4 ,it was just before tea that he called--because he is busy all day1 ,i suppose1 and perhaps1 he thought he should be sure of finding me1 then4 ,indeed1 he said something about fearing to intrude later1 when there might be other visitors--he is the most sensitive and unobtrusive being6 ,well1 just as we were having a nice little chat about old times at ,d----1 cousin ,charles came home and came into the parlor4 ,of course1 he knows ,henry very well1 for he has seen him often and often at our house1 when he used to be there in vacations with my brothers2 and1 indeed1 once before ,henry came here to live1 was one of a party of us1 who went to his little studio1 to see his self-taught paintings and sketches4 ,when he entered the room1 ,i said1 'cousin ,charles1 our friend ,mr4 ,zousky does not need an introduction to you1 ,i am sure4' ,i cannot describe his manner4 ,i did not so much mind its being cold and indifferent1 but it was not that of an equal--of one gentleman to another1 and without sitting down1 even for a moment1 he walked back to the dining-room1 and ,i heard him ask the servant whether tea was ready4 ,henry rose in a moment1 and took my hand to say good-bye--oh1 uncle1 ,i cannot tell you how hurt ,i was6 ,his voice was as low and gentle as ever1 but his face betrayed him6 ,i know he noticed cousin ,charles' manner4 ,i was determined that he should not go away so2 so ,i didn't get up1 but drew him to a seat by me on the sofa1 and said that he must not go yet1 unless he had an engagement1 for that ,i had not half done telling him what ,i wished1 and rattled on1 hardly knowing what ,i did say1 for ,i was so grieved and mortified4 ,he said he would come again1 as it was my tea-time1 but ,i insisted that my tea was of no consequence1 and that ,i much preferred talking to a friend--all the while hoping that either cousin ,maria or cousin ,charles would come and invite him to take tea4 ,presently ,i heard cousin ,maria come down1 and then the glass doors were closed between the rooms1 and ,i knew they were at tea4 ,why1 uncle ,hal1 papa would no more have done such a thing in his house1 than he would have robbed some one6 ,what6 wound the feelings of any one for fear of not being 'genteel6' that's the word1 ,i suppose--,i hear cousin ,maria use it very often6 ,we were always taught by dear mamma1 while she lived1 to be particularly polite and attentive to those who might not be as happy or prosperous as ourselves4 ,she used to say that fashionable and distinguished people were the least likely to observe those things1 but that the sensitive and self-distrustful were apt to be almost morbidly alive to every indication of neglect4 ',never brush rudely by the human sensitive plant1 my dears1' she used to say1 'lest you should bruise the tender leaves2 and never forget that it most needs the sunshine of smiles6' ,dear mamma6 she used to be so polite to ,henry--not patronizing1 but so friendly1 so considerate--always she put him at ease when there was other company at our house 7though he never came in when he knew there were other visitors71 and she used to do so many kind things to assist his first efforts in his art6 ,i only hope he understood that ,i have no rights here4 ,i am sure ,i feel that ,i have not6 ,but ,i would rather be treated a hundred times over again as ,i was last night1 myself1 than to have ,henry's feelings wounded2 still1 ,i must say that ,i should not think1 because she happened to be detained past the exact tea-hour1 of sending away the tea-things and keeping cold slops in a pitcher for any guest in my house1 if ,i had one---- ,hush1 ,blanche6 ,i never heard you talk so indiscreetly before6 ,well1 ,i don't care6 ,papa made me come here to stay1 because he said they had visited us1 and came out to ,bel's wedding1 and all2 but ,i do so wish ,i was at the ,st4 ,nicholas with you and the ,clarks1 uncle1 dear6 ,cousin ,charles ain't like himself since he married his fashionable ,new ,york wife2 even when he comes to pa's he isn't1 though there he throws off his cold1 ceremonious manner somewhat4 ,but ,i really feel as if ,i was in a straight-jacket here6 ,why1 ,blanche1 what's the trouble8 ,i am sure everything is very elegant and fashionable here6 ,yes1 too elegant and fashionable for poor little me6 ,i am not used to that1 and don't care for it4 ,i'd rather have a little more friendliness and sociability than all the splendor4 ,i am constantly reminded of my utter insignificance2 and you know1 uncle1 poor ,blanche is spoiled1 as you often say1 and not used to being reduced to a mere nonentity6 ,with this the silly child actually began to cry1 and when ,i tried to soothe her1 only sobbed out1 in broken words3 ,i wouldn't be such a goose as to mind it1 if ,henry ,zousky had not been treated so so1 so--so--fash-ion-a-bly6 ,looking over some letters from a sprightly correspondent of mine1 the other day1 ,i laid aside one from which ,i make the following extract1 as apposite to my subject3 ,you asked me to give you some account of the social position1 etc41 and an idea of the husband of your former favorite1 ,m---- ,s----4 ',what is ,dr4 ,j---- like8' you inquire3--,like nothing in heaven above1 or in the earth beneath1 ,i answer2 and1 therefore1 he might be worshipped without a violation of the injunction of the ,decalogue6 ,how such a vivacious creature as ,m---- ,s---- came to tie herself for life to such a mule1 passes my powers of solution4 ,dr4 ,j---- is very accomplished in his profession1 for a young man1 ,i hear1 and much respected for his professional capacity--but socially he is--nothing6--the merest cipher conceivable6 ,a man may be very quiet at home1 now-a-days1 and yet pass muster2 but there are times when he must act1 as it seems to me2 but ,m----'s husband seems to be a man of one idea1 and that never1 seemingly1 suggests the duties of host4 ,but you shall judge for yourself4--,while ,i was in ,a----1 we were all invited there one evening1 to meet a bride1 an old friend of ,m----'s1 stopping in town on her marriage tour4 ,m---- said it was too early in the season for a large party1 and that we were expected quite en famille2 but it was1 in reality1 quite an occasion1 nevertheless1 as the bride and her party were fashionable ,bostonians4 ,i happened to be near the hostess1 when the guests of the evening entered4 ,she received them with her usual ,frenchy ease and playfulness of manner1 and it seemed that the gentleman was an old friend of hers1 but did not know her husband4 ,he expressed the hope that ,dr4 ,j----'s professional duties would not deprive them of his society the whole evening1 as he much desired the pleasure of his acquaintance4 ,i saw1 by the heightening of her color1 that ,m----1 woman of the world though she be1 felt the unintended sarcasm of this polite language2 for ,dr4 ,j4 was calmly ensconced in the deep recess of a large fauteuil in the corner of the fire-place1 apparently enjoying the glowing coal-fire that always adds its cheerful influence to the elegant belongings of ,m----'s splendid drawing-room4 ,throughout the entire evening our effigy of a host kept his post1 where we found him on entering4 ,people went to him1 chatted a while1 and moved away2 we danced1 refreshments were served1 wine was quaffed1 ',all went merry as a marriage bell2' ,m---- glided about from group to group1 with an appropriate word1 or courteous attention for each one1 and1 in addition to the flowers that adorned the rooms1 presented the bride of her old friend with an exquisite bouquet1 saying1 in her pretty way1 that she would have been delighted to receive her in a bower of roses1 when she learned from ,mr4 ---- how much she liked flowers1 but that ,flora was in a pet with her since she had given up her old conservatory at her father's4 ,as the evening waned1 ,i observed her weariness1 despite the hospitable smile2 and well she might be6 ,several times she slipped away to her babe2 once1 when ,i stood near her1 she started slightly3 ',i thought ,i heard a nursery-cry1' she whispered to me1 'my little boy is not well to-night2' and ,i missed her soon after4 ,when ,i went away1 ,i1 of course1 sought the master of the house to say good-night4 ,he half rose1 with a half smile1 in recognition of my adieu1 and re-settled himself1 apparently wholly unconscious of any possible occasion for further effort6 ,but the climax1 in true epic style1 was reserved for the finale4 ,it was a frightfully stormy night1 and when we came down to the street door to go away1 there stood ,m----1 in her thin dress1 the cold wind and sleet-rain rushing in when the door was opened1 enough to carry away her fairy figure1 seeing off her friend and his bride6 99 99 99 99 99 ,my dear ,miss ,c----1 exclaimed a gentleman after listening to the complaint of a lady who had just been charging the lords of creation with the habitual discourtesy of retaining their hats when speaking to ladies1 in stores and shops1 as well as in public halls and even in the drawing-room2 ,my dear ,miss ,c----1 don't you know that ',young ,america' always wears his hat and boots whenever he can8 ,does he sleep in them8 inquired the lady4 ,well1 my dears1 ,i overheard a high-bred and exceedingly handsome man inquiring of two lovely ,english girls1 on board a steamer the other day1 how did you succeed in your efforts to dine to-day8 ,i will not again permit you to be separated from your aunt and me1 if we find the table ever so crowded4 ,but we had ,charley1 you know1 sir1 returned one of the fair interlocutors1 with a smile worthy of ,hebe herself4 ,true1 but ,charley is only a child2 and boys as well as women fare ill at public tables in this 'land of liberty and equality1' unless aided by some powerful assistant6 ,i thought we had found such a champion to-day1 exclaimed the other lady1 in the person who sat next me at dinner4 ,his hands were so nice that ,i should not have objected in the least to his offering me such dishes as were within his reach1 especially as there seemed to be no servant to attend us1 and we really sat half through the first course without bread or water4 ,having nothing else to do1 for some time1 ,i quietly amused myself with observing my courteous neighbor4 ,so wholly absorbed did he seem in his own contemplations1 so utterly oblivious of everything around him1 except the contents of his heaped-up plate1 that ,i soon became convinced that ,i had the honor to be in close proximity to a philosopher1 at least1 and probably to some fixed star in the realms of science6 ,oh1 ,clare6 ,i am so sorry to tell you1 but ,i learned afterwards1 accidentally1 that your profound-looking neighbor is--a dentist6 ,and1 therefore1 accustomed only to the most painful associations with the mouths of others6 chimed in the aristocrat1 laughing in chorus3 ,well1 as our shrewd1 sensible friend1 the daughter of the ,siddons1 used to say1 after her return from ,america1 'if the ,americans profess to be all equal1 they should be equally well bred6' ,with a repetition of this doubly sarcastic apothegm1 my dear friends1 for the present1 ,adieu6 ,,harry ,,lunettes4 ,,letter ,,vii4 ,,health1 ,,the ,,toilet1 ,,etc4 ,,my ,,dear ,,nephews3 ,since no man can fulfill his destiny as an actively-useful member of society without ,health1 perhaps a few practical suggestions on this important subject may not be inconsistent with our present purpose4 ,the only reliable foundation upon which to base the hope of securing permanent possession of this greatest of earthly blessings1 is the early acquisition of ,habits of ,temperance4 ,in a proper sense of the word1 ,temperance is an all-inclusive term--it does not mean abstaining from strong drink1 only1 nor from over-eating1 nor from any one form of self-indulgence or dissipation2 but it requires moderation in all things1 for its full illustration4 ,it was this apprehension of the term that was truthfully exhibited in the long1 useful1 consistent life of our distinguished countryman1 ,john ,quincy ,adams4 ,habits formed in boyhood1 in strict accordance with this principle1 and adhered to in every varying phase of circumstance throughout his prolonged existence1 were the proximate cause of his successful and admirable career4 ,and what a career6 ,how triumphantly successful1 how worthy of admiration6 ,more than half a century did he serve his country1 at home and abroad1 dying at last1 with his armor on1--a watchman1 faithful1 even unto death1 upon the ramparts of the ,citadel1 where ,justice1 ,truth1 and ,freedom have found a last asylum4 ,think you that the intellectual and moral purposes of his being could have been borne out by the most resolute exercise of will1 but for the judicious training of the physique8 ,or could the higher attributes of his nature have been developed1 indeed1 in conjunction with a body 'cabined1 cribbed and confined' by the enervating influence of youthful self-indulgence8 ,born on-- ,stern ,new-,england's rocky shore1 no misnamed luxury shrouded his frame from the discipline of that ,teacher1 around whose steps the mountain breezes blow1 and from whose countenance all the virtues gather strength4 ,you are1 doubtless1 all familiar with ,mr4 ,adams' habits of early rising1 bathing1 etc4 ,the latter1 even1 he maintained until within two years of his death1 bathing in an open stream each morning1 if his locality permitted the enjoyment1 at a very early hour4 ,i have his own authority for the fact that he1 during the different periods of his public sojourn abroad1 laved his vigorous frame in almost every river of ,europe6 ,franklin1 too1 ascribed his triumph over the obstacles that obstructed his early path to a strict adherence to the rules of ,temperance4 ,and so1 indeed1 with most of the truly great men whose names illumine the pages of our country's history3--,i might multiply examples almost ad infinitum1 but your own reading will enable you to endorse the correctness of my assertion4 ,since we have1 incidentally1 alluded to the ,bath1 in connection with the example of ,mr4 ,adams1 let us commence the consideration of personal habits1 with this agreeable and essential accessory of ,health4 ,though authorities may differ respecting some minor details with regard to bathing1 ,i believe medical testimony all goes to sanction its adoption by all persons1 in some one of its modifications4 ,constitutional peculiarities should always be consulted in the establishment of individual rules1--hence no general directions can be made applicable to all persons4 ,the cold bath1 though that most frequently adopted by persons in health1 is1 no doubt1 injurious in some cases1 and careful observation alone can enable each individual to establish the precise temperature at which his ablutions will be most beneficial4 ,but1 while the most scrupulous and unvarying regard for cleanliness should be considered of primary importance1 the indiscreet use of the bath should be avoided with equal care4 ,bishop ,heber1 one of the best and most useful of men1 sacrificed himself in the midst of a career of eminent piety1 to an imprudent use of this luxury1 arising either from ignorance or inadvertency4 ,after rising very early to baptize several native converts recently made in ,india1 the field of his labors1 he returned to his bungalow in a state of exhaustion from excitement and abstinence1 and1 without taking any nourishment1 threw himself into a bath1 and soon after expired6--,no one can safely resort to the bath when the bodily powers are much weakened1 by whatever cause2 and though it is unwise to use it directly after taking a full meal1 it should not immediately precede the chief meal of the day1 if that be taken at a late hour1 and after prolonged abstinence and exertion4 ,the art of swimming early acquired1 affords the most agreeable and beneficial mode of bathing1 not to dwell upon its numerous recommendations in other respects2 but when this enjoyment cannot be secured1 nor even the luxury of an immersion bath1 luckily for health1 comfort1 and propriety1 the means of sponge bathing may always be secured1 at least in this country 7wherever it has risen above barbarism71 though ,i must say that frequently during my travels in ,england1 and even through towns boasting good hotels1 ,i found water and towels at a high premium1 and very difficult of acquisition at that6 ,sponging the whole person upon rising1 either in cold or tepid water1 as individual experience proves best1 with the use of the ,turkish towel1 or some similar mode of friction1 is one of the best preparations for a day of useful exertion4 ,this practice has collateral advantages1 inasmuch as it naturally leads to attention to all the details of the toilet essentially connected with refinement and health--to proper care of the ,hair1 ,teeth1 ,nails1 etc41--in short1 to a neat and suitable arrangement of the dress before leaving one's apartment in the morning4 ,to slippered age belongs the indulgence of a careless morning toilet2 but with the morning of life we properly associate readiness for action in some pursuit demanding steady and prolonged exertion1 early begun1 and with every faculty and attribute in full exercise4 ,fashion sanctions so many varying modes of wearing or not wearing the hair1 that no directions can be given in relation to it1 except such as enjoin the avoidance of all fantastic dressing1 and the observance of entire neatness with relation to it4 ,careful brushing1 together with occasional ablutions1 will best preserve this natural ornament2 and ,i would1 also1 suggest the use of such pomades only as are most delicately scented4 ,no gentleman should go about like a walking perfumer's shop1 redolent1 not of-- ,sabean odors from the spicy shores ,of ,araby the ,blest1 but of spirits of turpentine1 musk1 etc41 'commixed and commingled' in 'confusion worse confounded' to all persons possessed of a nicety of nervous organization4 ,all perfumes for the handkerchiefs1 or worn about the person1 should be1 not only of the most unexceptionable kind1 but used in very moderate quantities4 ,their profuse use will ill supply the neglect of the bath1 or of the proper care of the teeth and general toilet4 ,the ,teeth cannot be too carefully attended to by those who value good looks1 as well as health4 ,and nothing tends more towards their preservation than the habitual use of the brush1 before retiring1 as well as in the morning4 ,the use of some simple uninjurious adjunct to the brush may be well2 but pure water and the brush1 faithfully applied1 will secure cleanliness--the great preservative of these essential concomitants of manly beauty4 ,if you use tobacco--7and ,i fervently hope none of you who have not the habit will ever allow yourselves to acquire it67--but if you are1 unfortunately1 enslaved by the habit1 never omit to rinse the mouth thoroughly after smoking 7,i will not admit the possibility1 that any young man1 in this age of progressive refinement1 is addicted to habitual chewing71 and never substitute the use of a strong odor for this proper observance1 especially when going into the society of ladies4 ,smoke dispellers must yield the palm to the purifying effects of the unadulterated element1 after all4 ,the utmost nicety in the care of the ,nails1 is an indispensable part of a gentleman's toilet4 ,they should be kept of a moderate length1 as well as clean and smooth4 ,avoid all absurd forms1 and inconvenient length1 in cutting them1 which you will find it easiest to do neatly while they are softened by washing1 and the use of the nail-brush4 ,properly fitted boots and shoes1 together with frequent bathing1 will best secure the feet from the torturing excrescences by which poor mortals are so often afflicted4 ,the addition of salt to the foot-bath1 if persevered in1 will greatly protect them from the painful effects of over-walking1 etc4 ,i think that under the head of ,dress1 in one of my earliest letters1 ,i expressed my opinion regarding the essentials of refinement and comfort as connected with this branch of the toilet4 ,i will only say1 in this connection1 that a liberal supply of linen1 hosiery1 etc41 should be regarded as of more importance than outside display1 and that the most enlightened economy suggests the employment of the best materials1 the most skillful manufacturers1 and the unrestrained use of these aids and appliances of gentleman-like propriety1 comfort1 and health4 ,the best and surest mode of securing ample and certain leisure for needful attention to the minutiae of the toilet is ,early ,rising1 a habit that1 in addition to the healthful influence it exerts upon the physique1 collaterally1 promotes the minor moralities of life in a wonderful degree1 and really is one of the fundamentals of success in whatever pursuit you may be engaged4 ,here1 again1 permit me to refer you to the examples of the truly great men of history--those of our own land will suffice--,washington1 ,franklin1 ,adams1 and1 though inconsistent with his habits in some other respects1 ,webster4 ,of the latter1 it is well known1 that he did not trim the midnight lamp for purposes of professional investigation or mental labor of any kind1 but rose early to such tasks1 with body and mind invigorated for ready and successful exertion4 ,i have seen few things from his powerful pen1 more pleasingly written than his ,eulogy upon ,morning1 as it may properly be called1 though ,i don't know that to be the title of an article written by him in favor of our present theme1 in which erudition and pure taste contend for supremacy with convincing argument4 ,but to secure the full benefit of early rising1 my young friends1 you must also1 establish the habit of retiring early and regularly4 ,no one dogma of medical science1 perhaps1 is more fully borne out by universal experience than this1 that two hours' sleep before midnight is worth all obtained afterwards4 ,to seek repose before the system is too far over-taxed for quiet1 refreshing rest1 and before the brain has been aroused from the quiescence natural to the evening hours1 into renewed and unhealthy action1 is most consistent with the laws of health4 ,and1 depend upon it1 though the elasticity of youthful constitutions may1 for a time1 resist the pernicious effects of a violation of these laws1 the hour will assuredly come1 sooner or later1 to all1 when the lex talionis will be felt in resistless power4 ,fashion and ,nature are sadly at war on this point1 as ,i am fully aware2 but the edicts of the one are immutable1 those of the other are proverbially fickle4 ,students1 especially1 should regard obedience to the wiser of the two as imperative4 ,the mental powers1 as well as the physical1 demand this--the mind's eye as well as the organs of outward vision1 will be found1 by experiment1 to possess the clearer and quicker discernment during those hours when1 throughout the domains of ,nature1 all is activity1 healthfulness and visible beauty4 ,and no peculiarity of circumstance or inclination will ever make that healthful which is unnatural4 ,hence the wisdom of establishing habits consistent with health1 while no obstacle exists to their easy acquisition4 ,there is an experiment on record made by two generals1 each at the head of an army on march1 in warm weather1 over the same route4 ,the one led on his troops by day1 the other chose the cooler hours for advancing1 and reposed while the sun was abroad4 ,in all other respects1 their arrangements were similar4 ,at the end of ten or twelve days1 the result convincingly proved that exertion even under mid-summer heat is most healthfully made while the stimulus of solar light sustains the system1 and that sleep is most refreshing and beneficial in all respects when sought while the hush and obscurity of the outer world assist repose4 ,but if1 as the nursery doggerel wisely declares1 ,early to bed and early to rise1 ,makes a man healthy1 wealthy1 and wise1 there must be united with this rational habit1 others each equally important to the full advantage to be derived from all combined4 ,among these1 ,exercise holds a prominent rank4 ,as with the bath1 this is most effectually employed for health before the system is exhausted by mental labor4 ,among the numerous modes of exercise1 none is so completely at command at all times and under all circumstances1 as walking4 ,but the full benefit of this exercise1 is not often enjoyed by the inhabitants of cities1 by reason of the impure air that is almost necessarily inhaled in connection with it4 ,still1 it is not impossible to obviate this difficulty by a little pains4 ,the early riser and the rapid pedestrian may in general1 easily secure time to seek daily one of the few and limited breathing-places that1 though in this regard we are vastly inferior to ,europeans in taste and good sense1 even our ,american cities supply1 either1 like what they indeed are1 lungs1 in the very centre of activity1 or at no unapproachable distance from it4 ,do not forget that vegetation1 while it sends forth noxious influences at night1 exales oxygen and other needful food for vitality1 in the morning1 especially2 nor that an erect carriage1 which alone gives unobstructed play to the organs of respiration and digestion1 is requisite1 together with considerable activity of movement1 to secure the legitimate results of walking4 ,students1 and others whose occupations are of a sedentary character1 sometimes adopt the practice of taking a long walk periodically4 ,this is1 no doubt1 promotive of health1 provided it is not at first carried to an extreme4 ,all such habits should be gradually formed1 and their formation commenced and pursued with due respect for physiological rules4 ,mr4 ,combe1 the distinguished phrenologist--in his ,constitution of ,man1 ,i think1 relates an instance of a young person1 in infirm health and unaccustomed to such exertion1 who undertook a walk of twenty miles1 to be accomplished without interruption4 ,the first seven or eight miles were achieved with ease and pleasure to the pedestrian1 but thenceforth discomfort and final exhaustion should have been a sufficient warning to the tyro to desist from his self-appointed task4 ,a severe illness was the consequence and punishment of his ignorant violation of physiological laws4 ,by the way1 ,i cannot too strongly recommend to your careful perusal the various works of ,dr4 ,andrew ,combe1 long the physician of the amiable ,king of ,belgium1 in relation to that and kindred subjects4 ,his ,physiology as applied to ,mental ,health1 is replete with practical suggestions and advice of the most instructive and important nature1 as are also his ,dietetics1 etc4 ,himself an incurable invalid1 he maintained the vital forces through many years of eminent usefulness to others1 only by dint of the most strenuous adherence to the strictest requirements of the ,science of the ,physique4 ,the writings of his brother1 ,mr4 ,george ,combe1 and especially the work ,i have just mentioned1 the ,constitution of ,man1 also abound in lessons of practical usefulness1 which may be adopted irrespective of his peculiar phrenological views4 ,in the multitude of newer publications these admirable books are already half-forgotten1 but my limited reading has afforded me no knowledge of anything superior to them1 as text-books for the young4 ,riding and driving need no recommendation to insure their popularity1 as means of exercise4 ,both have many pleasure and health-giving attractions4 ,every young man should endeavor to acquire a thorough knowledge of both riding and driving1 not from a desire to emulate the ignoble achievements of a horse-jockey1 but as proper accomplishments for a gentleman4 ,the possession of a fine horse is a prolific source of high and innocent enjoyment1 and may often be secured by those whose purses are not taxed for cigars and wine6 ,nothing can be more exhilarating than the successful management of this spirited and generous animal1 whether under the saddle or in harness6 ,even plethoric1 ponderous old ,dr4 ,johnson1 admitted that few things are so exciting as to be drawn rapidly along in a post-chaise1 over a smooth road1 by a fine horse6 ,let me repeat1 however1 that young men should be content to promote health and enjoyment by the moderate1 gentleman-like gratification of the pride of skill1 in this respect4 ,like many other amusements1 though entirely innocent and unexceptionable when reasonably indulged in1 its abuse leads inevitably to the most debasing consequences4--,our dusty high-roads very ill supply the place of the extensive public ,parks and gardens that furnish such agreeable places of resort for both riding and driving1 as well as for pedestrians1 in most of the large cities of ,europe1 but one may1 at least1 secure better air and more freedom of space by resorting to them than to the streets1 for every form of exercise4 ,and as it is a well established fact that agreeable and novel associations for both the eye and the mind are essential concomitants of beneficial exercise1 we have every practical consideration united to good taste in favor of eschewing the streets whenever fate permits4 ,oh6 how canst thou renounce the boundless store ,of charms which ,nature to her votaries yields1-- ,the warbling woodland1 the resounding shore1 ,the pomp of groves and garniture of fields2 ,all that the genial ray of morning gilds1 ,and all that echoes to the song of even1 ,all that the mountain's sheltering bosom shields1 ,and all the dread magnificence of ,heaven2-- ,o6 how canst thou renounce and hope to be forgiven6 ,,beattie ,eating and drinking are too closely connected with our general subject of health1 to be forgotten here4 ,that regard for ,temperance which ,i have endeavored to commend to you1 of course yields a prominent place to habits in these respects4 ,in relation to eating1 ,i strongly recommend the cultivation of simple tastes1 and the careful avoidance of every indulgence tending towards sensuality4 ,some knowledge of ,dietetics is essential to the adoption of right opinions and practice on this point4 ,for instance1 no man should wait for dire experience to enforce the truths that roast and broiled meats possess the most nutritious qualities2 that all fried dishes are1 necessarily1 more or less unwholesome2 that animal oils and fatty substances require stronger digestive force for their assimilation than persons of sedentary life usually possess2 that warm bread1 as a rule1 is unsuited to the human stomach1 etc41 etc4 ,no one should consider these matters unworthy of serious attention1 though temporarily free from inconvenience arising from neglecting them4 ,eventually1 every human constitution will exhibit painful proofs of all outrages committed upon the laws by which its operations are governed2 and the greater the license permitted in youth1 the severer will be the penalty exacted in after years4 ----,mind and ,body are so close combined1 ,where ,health of ,body1 ,health of ,mind you find4 ,preserve1 then1 as you value the means of usefulness1 the perfect play of your mental powers--so easily trammelled by the clogging of the machinery of the body--the unadulterated taste that is content with a sufficiency of wholesome1 well-cooked food to satisfy the demands of healthful appetite4 ,cultivate no love of condiments1 sauces and stimulants2 indulge no ambition to excel in dressing salads1 classifying ragouts1 or in demonstrating1 down to the nicety of a single ingredient1 the distinction between a home-made and an imported pate de foie gras6 ,distinctions such as these may suffice for the worn-out society of a corrupt civilization1 but our countrymen--,,men--should shout ,,excelsior6 ,abstract rules in relations to the hours proper for taking meals1 however carefully adapted to the security of health1 in themselves considered1 must1 of necessity1 give place to those artificially imposed by custom and convenience4 ,thus1 though the practice of dining late is not sanctioned by ,hygeia1 it admits of question1 whether1 as the usages of the business-world at present exists1 it is not a wiser custom than any other permitted by circumstance4 ,all who have given any attention to the subject know1 that neither bodily nor mental labor can be either comfortably or successfully pursued directly after a full meal4 ,hence1 then1 those whose occupations require their attention during several successive hours1 may find the habit of dining after the more imperative labors of the day are accomplished1 most conducive to health as well as convenience4 ,still1 it should not be forgotten1 that long abstinence is likely to produce the exhaustion that tells so surely and seriously upon the constitution1 of young persons especially4 ,this may be prevented by taking1 systematically1 a little light1 simple nutriment1 sufficient to produce what is aptly termed the stimulus of distention in that much abused organ--the stomach4 ,this practice regularly adhered to1 will also promote a collateral advantage1 by acting as a security against the too keen sharpening of appetite that tends to repletion in eating1 and which sometimes produces results similar to those exhibited by a boa-constrictor after dining upon a whole buffalo1 swallowed without the previous ceremony of carving6 ,one should never dine so heartily as to be unfitted for the subsequent enjoyment of society1 or of the lighter pursuits of literature4 ,deliberate and thorough mastication will more beneficially1 and quite as pleasurably1 prolong the enjoyments of the table1 as a more hurried disposal of a large quantity of food4 ,and really ,i do not know how the most rigid economist of time1 or the most self-sacrificing devotee either of ,mammon or of ,literature1 can more judiciously devote an hour of each day than to the single purpose of dining6 ,happily for those whose self-respect does not always furnish the sustaining power requisite for the maintenance of a principle1 fashion no longer requires of any man the use of even wine1 much less of stronger beverages4 ,and with reference to the use of all alcoholic stimulants1 as well as of tobacco1 ,i would remind you that those only who are not enslaved by appetite1 are ,,free6 ,if you have acquired a liking for wine or tobacco1 and would abjure either1 or both1 you will soon be convinced1 by experiment1 of the truth of ,dr4 ,johnson's saying1 of which1 by the way1 his own life furnished a striking illustration1 that abstinence is easier than temperance4 ,to prolong arguments against the habits of smoking and drinking1 were a work of supererogation1 here4 ,i will advance but one1 which may1 possibly1 possess the merit of novelty4 ,both have the effect1 materially to limit our enjoyment of the presence and conversation of ,heaven's last1 best gift to man6 ,i cannot better dismiss this important topic than by quoting the following passage from the writings of ,sir ,walter ,raleigh3 ,except thou desire to hasten thy end1 take this for a general rule--that thou never add any artificial heat to thy body by wine or spice1 until thou find that time hath decayed thy natural heat2 the sooner thou dost begin to help nature the sooner she will forsake thee1 and leave thee to trust altogether to art4 ,in my youth1 advice to young men was constantly commingled--whatever its general tenor--with admonitions regarding the necessity for industry and perseverance in those who would achieve worldly success4 ,in these utilitarian times1 when all seem borne along upon a resistless current1 hurrying to the attainment of some practical end1 engrossed by schemes of political ambition1 or devoted to the acquisition of wealth1 a quiet looker-on--as ,i am wont to regard myself--is tempted to counsel moderation in all things1 contentment with the legitimate results of honorable effort1 the cultivation of habits of daily relaxation from the severity of toil1 of daily rest from the mental tension that is demanded for successful competition in the arena of life4 ,the impression that sleep is a sufficient restorative from the wearing effects of otherwise ceaseless labor1 or that change of occupation furnishes all the relief that nature requires in this respect1 is1 undoubtedly1 erroneous4 ,the man1 says an eminent student of humanity1 who does not now allow himself two hours for relaxation after dinner1 will be compelled to devote more time than that daily to the care of his health1 eventually4 ,to allow one's self to be so engrossed by any pursuit1 however laudable in itself1 as to reserve no leisure for the claims of ,society1 of ,friendship1 of ,taste1 is so irrational as to need nothing but reflection to render it apparent4 ,in a merely utilitarian view1 it is unwise1 since1 as ,a,esop has demonstrated1 the bow that is never unbent soon ceases to be fit for use2 but there is1 surely1 a higher consideration1 addressed to the reason of man4 ,pope embodies it1 in part1 in the lines ----,god is paid when man receives1 ,to enjoy is to obey6 ,to have an aim1 a purpose in life1 sufficiently engrossing to act as an incentive to the exercise of all the powers of being1 is essential to health and happiness4 ,but to pursue any one object to the exclusion of all considerations for self-culture and intellectual enjoyment1 is destructive of everything worthy that name4 ,they who devote all the exertions of youth and manhood to the acquisition of political distinction1 or of gold1 for instance--cherishing1 meanwhile1 a sort of ,arcadian dream of ultimately enjoying the pleasures of intellectual communion1 or the charms of the natural world1 when the heat and burden of the conflict of life shall be done--exhibit a most deplorable ignorance of the truth that they will possess in age only the crippled capacities that disuse has almost wholly robbed of vitality1 together with such as are prematurely worn out by being habitually overtaxed4 ,on the contrary1 those who believe that ,it is not all of life to live1 and early establish a true standard of excellence1 and acquaint themselves with the immutable laws of our being1 will so commingle self-ennobling pursuits and enjoyments with industrious and well-directed attention to the needful demands of practical life1 as to secure as much of ever-present happiness as falls to the lot of humanity1 together with the enviable retrospection of an exalted ambition1 rightly fulfilled4 ,they may also hope for the invaluable possession of intellectual and moral developments to be matured in that state of existence of which this is but the embryo4 ,these are truisms1 ,i admit1 my young friends1 yet the spirit of the age impels their iteration and re-iteration6 ,burke's musical periods lamented the departure of the age of chivalry4 ,would that one gifted as he may revive the waning existence of the social and domestic virtues1 and inspire my young countrymen with an ambition too lofty in its aspirations to permit the sacrifice of mental and moral powers1 of natural affections1 and immortal aspirations1 upon the altars of ,mammon6--shrines now yearly receiving from our country a holocaust of sacrifices1 to which battle-fields are as naught in comparison4 ,but to return from this unpremeditated digression4 ,natural tastes and individual circumstances must1 to a considerable extent1 determine the relaxations and amusements most conducive to enjoyment and health4 ,you will scarcely need to be told that persons of sedentary habits1 and especially those devoted to literary occupations1 should make exercise in the open air a daily recreation1 and that it will best subserve the purposes of pleasure and health when united with the advantages arising from cheerful companionship4 ,hence the superiority of walking1 riding1 driving1 boating1 and sporting in its various forms1 to all in-door exercises and amusements--and especially to those tending rather to tax the brain than exercise the body--for those whose mental powers are most taxed by their avocations4 ,on the other hand1 there are those to whom the lighter investigations of literature and science afford the most appropriate relief from the toils of business4 ,permit me1 however1 to enter my protest against the belief that a change from the labors and duties of city life to the close sleeping-rooms1 the artificiality and excitement of a fashionable watering-place affords a proper and healthful relief to a weary body and an overwrought brain4 ,life at a watering-place is no more an equivalent for the pure air1 the simple habits1 the wholesome food1 the repose of mind and heart1 afforded by unadulterated country life1 than immersion in a bathing-tub is a satisfactory substitute for swimming in a living stream1 or a contemplation of the most exquisite picture of rural scenes1 for a glorious canter amid green fields and over breezy hills6 ,nor will dancing half the night in heated rooms1 late suppers1 bowling-alleys and billiards1 not to speak of still more objectionable indulgences1 restore these devotees to study or business to their city-homes re-invigorated for renewed action1 as will the least laborious employments of the farmer1 the sportive toil of the naturalist1 the varied enjoyments of the traveller amid the wonders of our vast primeval forests1 or of the voyager who explores the attractions of our unrivalled chain of inland lakes4 ,people who do their thinking by proxy1 and regulate their enjoyments by the on dit of the fashionable world1 yearly spend money enough at some crowded resort of the beau monde 7heaven save the mark67 to enable them to make the tour of ,europe1 or buy a pretty villa and grounds in the country1 or do some deed twice blessed1 in that it blesseth him that gives and him that takes4 ,in ,scotland1 in ,england1 in the ,north of ,europe generally1 men and women whose social position necessarily involves refinement of habits and education1 go1 in little congenial parties1 into the mountains and among the lakes1 visit spots renowned in song and story1 collect specimens of the wonders of nature1 camp out1 as they say at the ,west1 eat simply1 dress rationally--in short1 really rusticate1 in happy independence alike of the thraldom of fashion and the supremacy of convention4 ,thus in the ,old ,world1 among the learned1 the accomplished1 the high-born4 ,here in ,young ,america--let the sallow cheek1 the attenuated limbs1 the dull eye and blase air of the youthful scions of many a noble old ,revolutionary stock1 attest only too truly1 a treasonous slavery to the most arbitrary and remorseless of tyrants6 ,would that they may serve1 at least1 as beacons to warn you1 seasonably1 against adding yourselves to the denizens of haunts where ,unwieldly wealth1 and cumbrous pomp repose2 ,and every want to luxury allied1 ,and every pang that folly pays to pride6 99 99 99 99 99 ,i would that all my young countrymen might have looked upon the last hours of my revered friend1 ,john ,quincy ,adams1 and thus learned the impressive lessons taught by that solemn scene2 lessons that--to use his own appropriate language-- ----bid us seize the moments as they pass1 ,snatch the retrieveless sun-beam as it flies1 ,nor lose one sand of life's revolving glass-- ,aspiring still1 with energy sublime1 ,by virtuous deeds to give ,eternity to ,time6#e #e ,concluding lines of ,mr4 ,adams' ,address to the ,sun-,dial under the window of the ,hall of the ,house of ,representatives4 ,it was1 indeed1 a fitting close of his long1 noble life6 ,faithful to his duty to his country1 he maintained his post to the last1 and fell1 like a true defender of liberty--renouncing his weapons only with his life4 ,borne from the arena of senatorial strife to a couch hastily prepared beneath the same roof that had so often echoed his words of dauntless eloquence1 attended by mourning friends1 and receiving the tender ministrations of the companion alike of his earlier and later manhood1 the flickering lamp of life slowly expired4 ,after1 apparently1 reviewing the lengthened retrospection of a temperate1 rational1 useful life1 from the boyish years ,whose distant footsteps echoed through the corridors of ,time1 to the dying efforts of genius and patriotism1 the hushed stillness of that hallowed chamber at length rendered audible the sublime words--,,it ,,is ,,the ,,last ,,of ,,earth6 ,i ,,am ,,content6 ,i think it was during the administration of ,sir ,charles ,bagot1 the immediate successor of ,lord ,durham1 as ,governor ,general of the ,canadas1 that ,i had the pleasure to dine one day1 at the house of a distinguished civilian who held office under him1 in company with the celebrated traveller ,l----1 and his friend1 the well-known ,e---- ,g---- ,w----1 a man who1 despite wealth1 rank1 and talent1 paid a life-long penalty for a youthful error4 ,there were1 also1 present several members of the ,provincial ,parliament1 then in session at ,kingston1 which was1 at that time1 the seat of government1 and a number of ladies--those of the party of ,americans with whom ,i was travelling1 and some others4 ,the conversation1 very naturally1 turned upon the national peculiarities of the ,yankees--as the ,english call1 not the inhabitants of ,new ,england alone1 but the people of the ,north ,american ,states generally--in consequence of the fact that the world-wide traveller had just completed his first visit to our country4 ,some one asked him a leading question respecting his impressions of us as a people1 and more than one good-humored sally was given and parried among us4 ,at length ,l---- said1 so audibly and gravely as to arrest the attention of the whole company3 ,i have really but two serious faults to charge upon ,jonathan4 ,may we be permitted to inquire what those are8 returned ,i4 ,that he repudiates his debts1 and doesn't take time to eat his dinner4 ,when the general laugh had subsided1 ,mr4 ,w---- remarked that1 except when at the best hotels in the larger cities1 he had found less inducement for dining deliberately in the ,united ,states than in most civilized lands he had visited1 in consequence of the prevalent bad cookery4 ,the words of ,goldsmith1 said he1-- ',heaven sends us good meat1 but the devil sends cooks6' were always present to my mind when at table there6 ,they eschew honest cold roast beef1 as though there were poison in meat but once cooked1 served a second time1 though ,hamlet is authority for our taste in that respect4--,the cold venison you did me the honor to compliment so highly1 at lunch1 this morning1 ,l----1 would have been offered you fried by our good ,yankee cousins6 ,the patron saint of la cuisine forefend6 cried a smooth-browed ,englishman--not re-cooked1 ,i hope8 ,assuredly6 returned ,w----1 ,i trust these ladies and ,colonel ,lunettes will pardon me1--but such infamous stupidity is quite common4 ,i soon learned1 however1 the secret of preserving my capacious stomach in unimpaired capacity for action1 an irresistibly comic glance downward upon his portly person and could1 ,i thought1 very readily explain-- ',what is't that takes from them ,their stomach1 pleasures1 and their golden sleep1 ,why they do bend their eyes upon the earth1 99 99 99 99 99 ,in thick ey'd musing and curs'd melancholy6' ,if the frank denunciations of this eccentric observer of life and manners might otherwise have been regarded as impolite1 his more severe comments upon his own countrymen proved1 at least1 that no national partiality swayed his judgment4 ,i remember his telling me the following anecdote1 as we chatted over our coffee1 after joining the ladies in the evening3--,in answer to some inquiry on my part1 respecting the social condition of the people--the peasantry1 as he called them1 of the ,provinces1 he spoke in unmitigated condemnation of their ignorance1 and especially of their insolence and boorishness4 ,get ,l---- to tell you1 said he1 how nearly he and his servants were frozen to death one fierce night1 while an infernal gate-keeper opposed his road-right4 ,then1 again1 the other morning1 ,mrs4 ,m---- 7our hostess7 who like every other lady here1 except1 perhaps1 ,lady ,bagot1 goes to market every day1 was referred by a man1 from whom she inquired for potatoes1 to an old crone1 with the words--',this lady sell them1--here is a woman who wants to buy potatoes6' ,the following morning1 while our ,american party were driving out to the superb ,fort that protects the ,harbor of ,kingston1 to visit which we had been politely furnished with a permit by an official friend1 ,i endeavored to draw from a very charming and accomplished lady the secret of her unusual silence and reserve at dinner the evening before4 ,she is really a celebrity1 as much for her remarkable conversational powers1 as for any other reason1 perhaps1 and ,i had1 therefore1 the more regretted her not joining in the conversation4 ,what made the mystery more difficult of solution1 said one of the other ladies1 was the equally imperturbable gravity of that handsome ,frenchman who sat beside ,virginia4 ,handsome6 retorted ,virginia1 do you call that man handsome6--his high cheek bones and swarthy complexion show his ,indian blood rather too plainly for my taste1 ,i must confess4 ,that commingling of races is very common here1 ,virginia1 said ,i1 ,mr4 ,e---- is a somewhat prominent member of the ,canadian ,parliament4 ,i heard a speech from him1 in ,french1 yesterday morning1 which was listened to with marked attention4 ,there were a number of ladies in the side-boxes1 too1 and it is evident from his attention to his dress1 if for no other reason1 that ,mr4 ,e---- is an elegant6 ,all that may be1 rejoined ,virginia1 but ,i have no fancy for light blue 'unwhisperables1' as ,tom calls them1 nor for ruffled shirts6 ,a change has come o'er the spirit of your dream1 most queenly daughter of the 'sunny ,south6'--is this the sprightly ,americaine who won all hearts the other day on the ,st4 ,lawrence1--from that magnificent ,british officer1 to the quiet old priest whose very beard seemed to laugh1 at least---- ,that1 indeed1 ,col4 ,lunettes6--but for your ever-ready gallantry ,i would exclaim-- ',man delights me not1 nor woman either6' but here we are at the entrance of the famous donjon keep6 ,we spent some time in examining the--to the ladies--novel attractions of the place4 ,by-and-by1 the fair ,virginia1 who had strayed off a little by herself1 called to me to come and explain the mode of using a port-hole to her4 ,in a few minutes1 she said1 in a low tone1 sitting down1 as she spoke upon a dismounted cannon1 ,col4 ,lunettes1 ,i beg you not to allude again to that--to the dinner1 yesterday1 or1 at least1 to my embarrassment---- ,your embarrassment1 my dear girl6 ,i exclaimed1 you astonish me6 ,do explain yourself---- ,hush1 returned my companion1 looking furtively over her shoulder1 that young ,englishman seems to be engrossing the attention of the rest of the party1 and1 perhaps1 ,i shall have time to tell you---- ,do1 my dear1 if anything has annoyed you--surely so old a friend may claim your confidence4 ,i have heard of the 'son of a gun1' replied she1 evidently making a strong effort to recall the natural sprightliness that seemed so singularly to have deserted her of late2 ,i don't see why ,i am not the daughter of a gun1 at this moment1 and so entitled to be very brave6 ,but about this ,mr4 ,e----1 ,colonel1 she almost whispered1 bending her head so as to screen her face from my observation4 ,you know ,mrs4 ,m---- called for me the other morning to go and walk with her alone1 because1 as she said1 she wanted to talk a little about old times1 when we were in the convent school at ,c---- together4 ,well1 as we came to a little shop1 as she styled it--a hardware store1 we should say--she begged me to go in with her a moment1 while she gave some directions about a hall-stove1 saying1 with an apology3 ,we wives of government officers here1 do all these things1 as a matter of course4 ,while she walked back in the place1 ,i very naturally remained near the door1 amusing myself by observing what was passing in the street4 ,presently1 a fine horse arrested my eye1 as he came prancing along4 ,his rider seemed to have some ado to control him1 as ,i thought1 at first1 but ,i suddenly became aware that he was endeavoring to stop him1 in mid career1 and that1 when he succeeded--he--,i--there was no mistaking it--his glance almost petrified me1 in short1 and ,i had only just power to turn quickly in search of ,mrs4 ,m----4 ,the slight form of the speaker quivered visibly1 and she paused abruptly4 ,why1 my poor child1 said ,i1 soothingly1 never mind it6 ,how can you allow such a thing to distress you in this way8 ,if anything of the kind had ever happened to me before1 ,i should have thought it my fault1 in some way2 but when ,i got back to our hotel1 and reviewed the whole matter1 and--but there come the rest of the party--she added1 hurriedly4 ,do you wonder now at my manner at the dinner8 ,i knew his face the moment the man entered the dining room2 and when ,mr4 ,m---- introduced him1 and requested him to conduct me1 the burning glow that flashed over his swarthy brow convinced me that he1 too1 recognized me4 ,i would sooner have encountered a basilisk than your elegant1 parliamentary ,frenchman6 99 99 99 99 99 ,doctor1 what may ,i eat8 inquired a dyspeptic ,american1 who had just received a prescription from ,abernethy--the eccentric and celebrated ,english physician4 ,eat8 thundered the disciple of ,galen1 the poker and tongs1 if you will chew them well6 99 99 99 99 99 ,what a commingling of nations and characters there was in the little party of which ,i made one1 on a serene evening1 lang-syne1 at ,constantinople6 ,we floated gently over the placid bosom of the sunset-tinted ,golden ,horn1 rowed by four stout ,mussulmans1 and bound for that point of the shore of the ,marmora nearest the suburb of ,ezoub where horses awaited us for a brisk canter of some miles back to the city4 ,there were1 ,lord ----1 an ,english nobleman2 a ,hungarian refugee2 a ,yankee sea-captain2 a dark-eyed youth from one of the ,greek ,islands2 and myself--men severed by birth and education from communion of thought and feeling1 yet united1 for the moment1 by a similarity of purpose2 associated by the subtle influence of circumstance1 into a serene commingling of one common nature1 and capacitated for the interchange of impressions and ideas1 at least in an imperfect degree1 through the medium of a strange jargon1 compounded originally of materials as varied as the native languages of the several individuals composing the group in our old ,turkish ,caique1 which may have been1 for aught we knew1 the identical one that followed ,byron in his ,leander-swim6 ,the conversation naturally partook in character of the scene before us3--,near1 towered the time-stained walls of the ,seraglio--so long the cradling-place of successive ,sultans1 and then furnishing the embryo of the voluptuous pleasures of their anticipated paradise4 ,beyond1 rose the ruin-crowned heights1 the domes and minarets of old ,stamboul1 rich in historic suggestions1 glowing now in the warmly-lingering smile of the departing day-god1 ,not1 as in ,northern climes1 obscurely bright1 ,but one unclouded blaze of living light6 ,before us1 in our way over the crystal waters1 loomed up the gloomy1 verdure-draped turrets of the ,irde ,koule of this oft-rebelling and oft-conquered seat of ,oriental splendor and imperial power4 ,as with the ,tower of ,london1 the mere sight of this now silent and deserted castle1 conjured up recollections replete with deeds of wild romance1 and darker scenes of blood and crime4 ,around us flowed the waters whose limpid depths had so oft received the sack-shrouded form of helpless beauty1 when midnight blackness rivalled the horror of the foul murder it veiled forever from mortal ken4 ,argosies and fleets had been borne upon these waves1 whose names or whose conflicts were of world-wide renown--from the mythical adventurers of the ,golden-,fleece to the triumphant squadrons of the ,osmanlis1 all seemed to float before the eye of fancy6 ,from the broken sentences that1 for some time1 seemed most expressive of the contemplative mood engendered both by our surroundings and by the placidity of the hour1 there gradually arose a somewhat connected discussion of the present condition of the ,ottoman ,porte4 ,it is not my purpose to inflict upon you a detailed report of our discourse2 but only to relate1 for your amusement1 a fragment of it1 which somehow has1 strangely enough1 floated upwards from the darkened waters of the past1 with sufficient distinctness to be snatched from the oblivion to which its utter insignificance might properly consign it4 ,there is not1 said the ,british noble--a man curious in literature1 and a somewhat speculative observer of life--there is not a single purely literary production in the ,turkish language1 written by a living author2 not a poem1 nor romance1 nor essay4 ,the ,koran would almost seem to constitute their all of earthly lore and heavenly aspiration4 ,what an anomaly in the biography of modern peoples6 ,this last sentence was addressed especially to the sea-captain and me1 the idiomatical ,english in which the passing fancy of the speaker found expression being wholly unintelligible to all except ourselves4 ,their total want of a national literature1 said the ,american1 does not so materially affect my comfort1 ,i must confess1 as the utter absence of decent civilization in their renowned capital4 ,for instance1 they have not an apology for a night-police in their confoundedly dark streets1 except the infernal dogs that infest them4 ,the other night1 returning to my quarters1 with my ',ibrahim' pilot in front with a lantern1 ,i was persuaded1 as one of these 'faithful guardians' fastened his glistening ivories in my boot-top1 that1 like one of your 'lone stars' at ,new ,york1 ,colonel ,lunettes1 he had 'mistaken his man1' and supposed me to be the returned spirit of some one of the countless throng of infidel dogs1 upon whom his public education had instructed him to make war to--the teeth6 ,ha1 ha1 ha6 laughed the ,greek1 in tones as musical as his dress and attitude were picturesque1 from the pile of boat cloaks upon which he reposed in the bow of the boat1 and opening his dark eyes till one saw far down into the dreamy depths of his half-slumbering soul through his quick-lit orbs4 ,he had caught enough of the sense of the captain's nonsense1 to imagine the joke to the full4 ,ha1 ha1 ha6 laughed he1 again1 and the shadowy walls of the blood-stained ,chateau of ,seven ,towers1 by which we were gliding1 gave back the clear1 clarion-like tone2 but1 while this brave fils de la mer#f thus sports with the terrors of my country's enslaver here a frown1 deep1 dark1 threatening1 and a quick clenching of the jewelled handle of the yataghan he wore in his belt1 the gates of fair ,stamboul will close1 and nor foe1 nor ,frank1 nor friend1 be given to the dogs4 #f ,son of the sea4 ,by thunder6 shouted the ,american1 shaking himself up1 as if at sea1 with a suspicious sail in sight1 he is more than half right4 ,would you have thought it so late8 ,even a ,yankee1 like ,captain ----1 a fair representative of the 'universal nation1' learns to dream and linger here1 responded the ,englishman1 good-humoredly4 ,upon this1 ,i made use of the little knowledge ,i possessed of the ,turkish1 to interrogate our ,caidjis respecting the time further required to reach our landing-place4 ,allah is great1 and ,mohammed is his ,prophet6 was all ,i could fully apprehend of his slowly-delivered reply4 ,it was now the captain's turn to laugh1 and as his sonorous peal rippled over the ,marmora1 he quietly insinuated his fore-finger and thumb into the disengaged palm of the devout ,mussulman ,i had so touchingly adjured4 ,the only response of the devotee of the ,prophet was a gutteral repetition of ,pekee6 good6 pekee6 pekee6 ,but by an influence as effective as it was mysterious1 our swan-like movement was exchanged for a most hope-encouraging velocity4 ,bravo6 exclaimed my lord4 ,bravissima6 intonated the ,hun4 ,go it1 boys6 shouted the old salt4 ,by the soul of ,mithridates and the deeds of ,thermopolae6 chimed in the scion of the isles of ,greece1 catching the instinctively-intelligible contagion of the sportive moment4 ,and what said ,uncle ,hal8 you wonder1 perhaps4 ,oh1 ,i was listening to the low1 melancholy1 semi-howl in which the imperturbable ,moslems were slowly chanting ,guezal6 pek guezal6#g as they turned their dull eyes lingeringly towards their fast-receding mosques and minarets4 #g ,my beautiful6 my most beautiful6 ,but1 meeting the questioning glances of my companions1 as their mirth began to subside1 ,i contributed my humble quota to the general stock of fun by saying1 with extreme gravity of voice and manner3 ,when will wonders cease in the ,golden ,horn6 ,at first1 even its unquestionable antiquity did not redeem this vessel from my contempt--now ,i consider it an 'irresistible duck6'--and ,i wish1 moreover1 to publish my conviction that1 though barbarous in matters of literature and art1 the ,turks impressively teach their boastful superiors a religious respect for cleanliness4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i remember to have been singularly impressed1 when ,i read it1 with an anecdote somewhat as follows3 ,as too frequently happens on such occasions1 a discussion in relation to some insignificant matter1 into which a large party of men1 who had dined together1 and were lingering late over their wine1 had fallen1 gradually increased in vehemence and obstinacy of opinion1 until frenzied excitement ruled the hour4 ,from words they almost came to blows1 ,when luckily the attention of one of the most furious of the disputants was suddenly arrested by the appearance of one of the gentlemen present4 ,there was no angry flush on his brow1 no laughing devil in his eye1 and he sat quietly regarding the scene before him1 serene and self-possessed as when he entered the apartment hours before4 ,his astonished companion inquired the cause of such placidity1 in the midst of anger and turbulence4 ,the gentleman pointed1 with a smile1 to a half-empty water-bottle beside him1 and replied3 ,while the rest of the company have been industriously occupied in endeavoring to drown the distinctive attribute of man--reason--,i have preserved its supremacy by simply confining myself to a non-intoxicating beverage4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i trust you will not think the following somewhat quaint verses1 from the pen of an old and now almost forgotten poet1 a mal-a-propos conclusion to this letter3 ,,the ,,youth ,,and ,,the ,,philosopher ,a ,grecian youth1 of talents rare1 ,whom ,plato's philosophic care ,had formed for ,virtue's nobler view1 ,by precept and example too1 ,would often boast his matchless skill ,to curb the steed1 and guide the wheel2 ,and as he passed the gazing throng ,with graceful ease1 and smack'd the thong1 ,the idiot wonder they expressed1 ,was praise and transport to his breast4 ,at length1 quite vain1 he needs would show ,his master what his art could do2 ,and bade his slaves the chariot lead ,to ,academus' sacred shade4 ,the trembling grove confessed its fright1 ,the wood-nymphs started at the sight2 ,the ,muses drop the learned lyre1 ,and to their inmost shades retire4 ,howe'er1 the youth1 with forward air1 ,bows to the ,sage1 and mounts the car2 ,the lash resounds1 the coursers spring1 ,the chariot marks the rolling ring2 ,and gathering crowds1 with eager eyes1 ,and shouts1 pursue him as he flies4 ,triumphant to the goal returned1 ,with nobler thirst his bosom burned2 ,and now along the indented plain ,the self-same track he marks again2 ,pursues with care the nice design1 ,nor ever deviates from the line4 ,amazement seized the circling crowd2 ,the youths with emulation glowed2 ,e'en bearded sages hailed the boy1 ,and all but ,plato gazed with joy4 ,for he1 deep-judging sage1 beheld ,with pain the triumph of the field3 ,and when the charioteer drew nigh1 ,and1 flushed with hope1 had caught his eye1 ,alas6 unhappy youth1 he cried1 ,expect no praise from me1 7and sighed72 ,with indignation ,i survey ,such skill and judgment thrown away3 ,the time profusely squandered there ,on vulgar arts1 beneath thy care1 ,if well employed1 at less expense1 ,had taught thee ,honor1 ,virtue1 ,sense2 ,and raised thee from a coachman's fate1 ,to govern men1 and guide the state4 ,one seldom finds a nicer selection of words than those of the last lines of these admonitory stanzas4 ,with the wish that they may gratify your literary acumen1 ,i am1 as ever1 ,your faithful friend1 ,,harry ,,lunettes4 ,,letter ,,viii4 ,,letter-,,writing4 ,,my ,,dear ,,nephews3 ,there is1 perhaps1 no form of composition with which it is as desirable to be practically familiar1 and in which all educated persons should be accomplished1 as that of letter-writing2 yet no branch of an elegant education is more frequently neglected4 ,consequently1 the grossest errors1 and the utmost carelessness1 are tolerated in regard to it4 ,rhetorical faults1 and even ungrammatical expressions1 are constantly overlooked1 and illegibility has almost come to be regarded as an essential characteristic4 ,following the homely rule of the lightning-tamer1 that nothing is worth doing at all that is not worth doing well1 you will not need argument to convince you of the propriety of attention to this subject1 while forming habits of life4 ,different occasions and subjects require1 of course1 as various styles of epistolary composition4 ,thus the laconic language adapted to a formal business letter1 would be wholly unsuited to one of friendship2 and the playfulness that might be appropriate in a congratulatory communication1 would be quite out of place in a letter of condolence4 ,while it is impossible that any general rules can be laid down that will be always applicable in individual cases1 a few directions of universal application may1 not inappropriately1 be introduced in connection with our present purpose4 ,the principal requisites of ,letters of ,business are1 intelligibility1 legibility1 and brevity4 ,to secure the first of these essentials1 a clear1 concise1 expressive selection of language is required4 ,each word and sentence should express exactly and unequivocally the idea intended to be conveyed1 and in characters that will not obscure the sense by doubtful legibility4 ,a legible hand should certainly be as essential as intelligible utterance4 ,we pity the man who by stammering1 or stuttering1 not only taxes the time and patience of his hearers1 but leaves them1 at times1 uncertain of his meaning1 despite their efforts to comprehend him4 ,what1 then1 is the misfortune of those who1 like the most genial of wits1 'decline to read their own writing1 after it is twenty-four hours old6' ,do not1 ,i pray you1 let any absurd impression respecting the excusableness of this defect1 on the score that genius is superior to the trifles of detail1 etc41 lead you either into carelessness or indifference on the subject4 ,few men have the excuse of possessing the dangerous gift of genius1 and to affect the weaknesses by which it is sometimes accompanied1 is equally silly and contemptible4 ,a man of sense will aim at attaining a true standard of right1 not at caricaturing a defective model4 ,depend upon it1 a good business-hand is no small recommendation to young men seeking employment in any of the occupations of life4 ,the propriety of brevity in letters of business1 will at once commend itself to your attention4 ,time--the wealth of the busy--is thus saved for two parties4 ,but remember1 ,i repeat1 that1 while this precious treasure is best secured by expressing what you wish to communicate in as few words as possible1 nothing is gained by leaving your precise meaning doubtful1 by unauthorized abbreviations1 confused sentences1 or the omission of any essential--as a date1 address1 proper signature1 important question1 or item of information4 ,let me add1 that rapidity of mechanical execution is of no mean importance in this regard4 ,letters of ,introduction should be so expressed as to afford the reader a clue to the particular purpose of the bearer in desiring his acquaintance1 if any such there be4 ,this will prevent the awkwardness of a personal explanation1 and furnish a convenient theme for the commencement of a conversation between strangers4 ,thus1 if it be simply a friend1 travelling in search of pleasure and general information1 whom you wish to commend to the general civilities of another friend1 some such form as the following will suffice3 ---- ---- ---- ,,my ,,dear ,,sir3 ,allow me the pleasure of introducing to you my friend1 ,mr4 ---- ----1 a gentleman whose intelligence and acquirements render his acquaintance an acquisition to all who are favored with his society4 ,mr4 ---- visits your city or town1 or part of the country1 or1 your celebrated city1 or1 your enterprising town1 or your far-famed ,state1 etc4 merely as an observant traveller4 ,such attentions as it may be agreeable to you to render him will oblige ,your sincere friend1 and obedient servant1 ---- ----4 ,to ,hon4 ---- ---- ,when you wish to write a letter of introduction for a person seeking a situation in business1 a place of residence1 scientific information1 or the like2 briefly1 but distinctly1 state this to your correspondent1 together with any circumstance creditable to the bearer1 or which it will be advantageous to him to have known1 which you can safely venture to avouch4 7,no one is in any degree bound by individual regard to impair his reputation for probity or veracity in this1 or any other respect47 ,a letter introducing an ,artist1 a ,lecturer1 etc41 should contain some allusion to the professional reputation of the bearer--thus3 ---- ---- ---- ,,my ,,dear ,,williamson3 ,this will be presented to you by our distinguished countryman1 ,mr4 ---- ----1 who proposes a brief visit to your enterprising city1 chiefly for professional purposes4 ,it affords me great pleasure to be the means of securing to friends whom ,i so highly value1 the gratification ,i feel assured you and ,mr4 ---- will derive from knowing each other4 ,with the best wishes for your mutual success and happiness1 ,i am1 my dear sir1 ,very truly yours1 ---- ----4 ,to ---- ----1 ,esq4 ,in the instance of a celebrity1 occupying at the time a space in the world's eye1 something like this will suffice3 ,,boston1 ,august #ast1 #ahfc4 ,,my ,,dear ,,friend3 ,it gives me pleasure to present to your acquaintance a gentleman from whose society you cannot fail to derive high enjoyment4 ,mr4 ---- or the ,hon4 ----1 or ,gen4 ----#h needs no eulogy of mine to render his reputation familiar to you1 identified as it is with the literature of our country or the scientific fame1 or the eloquence of the pulpit1 etc4 ,commending my friend to your courtesy1 believe me1 my dear ,jones1 ,truly your friend and servant1 ---- ----4 ,rev4 ---- ----4 #h ,always be scrupulously careful to give titles1 and with accuracy4 ,the proper designation of a gentleman not in office1 is--,esquire4 7,this1 of course1 should not be given to a tradesman1 or menial47 ,that of a judge1 member of ,congress1 mayor of a city1 member of a ,state legislature1 etc41 etc41 is--,honorable2 that of a clergyman--,reverend2 that of a bishop--,right ,reverend4 ,you are1 of course1 familiar with the proper abbreviations for these titles4 ,in writing the address of a letter1 it is desirable to know the ,christian name of the person to whom it is to be directed4 ,thus1 if a physician1 ,charles ,jones1 ,m4 ,d41 is better than ,dr4 ,jones4 ,so1 ,dr4 ,de ,lancey1 or ,bishop ,potter1 are obviously improper4 ,the correct form to be used in this instance1 is3 ,to the ,right ,rev4 ,alonzo ,potter1 ,d4 ,d4 ,the proper address of a ,minister representing our government abroad1 is--the ,honorable ---- ----1 ,minister for the ,u4,s4 of ,america1 near the ,court of ,st4 ,james1 or ,st4 ,cloud1 etc4 ,that of a ,charge d',affaires1 or ,consul1 etc41 varies with their respective offices4 ,a ,charge d',affaires is sometimes familiarly spoken of as ,our ,charge1 at such a ,court--or as the ,american ,charge4 ,a clergyman may be addressed as ,rev4 ,mr4 ----1 if you do not know the first name1 or initial1 and so may a doctor of divinity2 but in the latter case it would1 perhaps1 be better to write--,rev4 ,dr4 ,james1--though the more accurate mode will still be1 if attainable1 ,rev4 ,william ,james1 ,d4,d4 ,gentlemen of the ,army and ,navy should always be designated by their proper titles1 and it is well not to be ignorant that a man in either of these professions1 when ,he hath got his sword 444 ,and seems to know the use on't1 may not like to be reminded that the slow promotion he has attained is unknown to his friends6 ,letters of introduction should always be unsealed1 and1 as a rule1 should relate only to the affairs of the bearer1 not even passingly to those of the writer or his correspondent4 ,when it is desirable to write what cannot1 for any reason1 be properly introduced into the open letter1 a separate and sealed communication may be written and sent1 with a polite apology1 or brief explanation1 with the other4 ,when letters of introduction are delivered in person1 they should be sent by the servant who admits you1 together with your card1 to the lady or gentleman to whom they are addressed1 as the most convenient mode of announcing yourself1 and the object of your visit4 ,when you do not find the person you wish to see1 write your temporary address upon your card1 as ,at the ,american ,hotel--,with ,mrs4 ,henry1 #bb ,washington-st4--,at ,hon4 ,john ,berkley's1 etc4 ,should you send your letter1 accompany it by your card and present address1 and inclose both together in an envelope directed to the person for whom they are designed4 ,when your stay is limited and brief1 it is suitable to add upon your card1 together with an accurate date--,for to-day1 or1 ,to remain but two or three days4 ,and in case of any explanation1 or apology1 or request being requisite1 such as you would have made in a personal interview1 write a note1 to be inclosed with the letter of presentation4 ,every omission of these courtesies that may occasion trouble1 or inconvenience to others1 is ill-bred1 and may easily serve to prejudice strangers against you4 ,sometimes it is well to make an appointment through the card you leave1 or send1 with a letter1 or for a stranger whom you wish to meet1 as--,at the ,globe ,hotel1 this evening1 with a date1 or thus--,will pay his respects to ,mrs4 ----1 to-morrow morning1 with her permission4 ,a letter introducing a young man1 still unknown to fame1 to a lady of fashion1 or of distinguished social position1 may be expressed somewhat in this manner3 ,to ,mrs4 ,modish1#i ,no4 #ad ,belgrave ,place1 ,charleston1 ,s4 ,c4 ,,astor ,,house1 ,,new ,,york1 ,jan4 #bgth1 #ahfc4 ,,dear ,,madam3 ,permit me to present to you my friend1 ,mr4 ,james ,stuart--a gentleman whose polished manners and irreproachable character embolden me to request for him the honor of an acquaintance with even so fastidious and accomplished an arbiter of fashion as yourself4 ,mr4 ,stuart will be able to give you all the information you may desire respecting our mutual friends and acquaintances in society here4 ,do me the honor to make my very respectful compliments to the ,misses ,modish1 and to believe me1 dear madam1 ,most respectfully1 ,your friend and servant1 ,,robert ,b4 ,,hawks4 ,,mrs4 ,,modish4 #i ,it is etiquette to address communications to a lady according to the style she adopts for her card4 ,thus1 the elder of two married ladies1 bearing the same name and of the same family1 may properly designate herself simply as ,mrs4 ----1 without any ,christian name 7her position in society and the addition upon her card1 of her locale being supposed sufficient to identify her74 ,the wives of her youngest brother1 or those of her sons1 are then ,mrs4 ,n4 ,c4 ----1 ,mrs4 ,charles ----1 and so on4 ,the eldest of a family of sisters is1 ,miss ----1 the younger are ,miss ,nellie ----1 ,miss ,julia ----1 etc4 ,in writing to1 or conversing with them1 you thus individualize them4 ,but when you are upon ceremonious terms with them1 in the absence of the elder1 you address one of the younger sisters1 with whom you are conversing1 as ,miss ----1 only1 omitting the individualizing ,christian name4 ,of course1 when writing under such circumstances1 a note of ceremony designed for the young ladies of a family1 collectively1 should be addressed to ,the ,misses ----2 and if for one of them1 alone1 to ,miss ----1 or1 ,miss ,mary ,g4 ----1 as the case may be4 ,letters presenting foreigners1 should designate the country and particular locality to which they belong1 as well as the purpose of their tour1 as--,the ,chevalier ,bonne1 of ,berne1 ,switzerland whose object in visiting our young ,republic is not only the wish to compare our social and political institutions with those of his own country1 but the collection of specimens and information respecting the ,natural ,history of the ,united ,states4 ,such assistance as you may be able to render my learned friend1 in facilitating his particular researches1 will confer a favor upon me1 my dear sir1 which ,i shall ever gratefully remember1 etc41 etc4 ,the subject of letters of introduction naturally suggests that of personal introductions1 in relation to which the grossest mistakes and the greatest carelessness are prevalent1 even among well-bred people4 ,in making persons acquainted with each other1 the form of words may vary almost with every different occasion1 but there are certain rules that should never be overlooked1 since they refer to considerations of abstract propriety4 ,younger persons and inferiors in social rank1 should1 almost invariably1 be presented to their seniors and superiors4 ,thus1 one should not say--,mr4 ,smith1 let me introduce ,mr4 ,washington ,irving to you1 but ,mr4 ,irving1 will you allow me to introduce ,mr4 ,john ,smith to you8 ,or1 ,permit me to present ,mr4 ,smith to you1 sir1 presupposing that ,mr4 ,smith does not need to be informed to whom he is about to be introduced4 ,it is difficult to express upon paper the difference of signification conveyed by the mode of intonating a sentence4 ,general ,scott1 ,mr4 ,jones1 may be so pronounced as to present the latter gentlemen to our distinguished countryman1 in a simple1 but admissible manner1 or it may illustrate the impropriety of naming a man of mark to a person who makes no pretensions to social equality with him4 ,usually1 men should be introduced to women1 upon the principle that precedence is always yielded to the latter2 but1 even in this case1 an exception may properly be made in the instance of an introduction between a very young1 or1 otherwise1 wholly unindividualized woman1 and a man of high position1 or of venerable age4 ,a half-playful variation from the ordinary phraseology of this ceremony1 may sometimes be adopted1 under such circumstances1 with good taste1 as--,this young lady desires the pleasure of knowing you1 sir--,miss ,williams1 or1 ,mr4 ,prescott1 this is my niece1 ,miss ,ada ,byron ,robinson4 ,when there is a distinction without a difference between two persons1 or when hospitality interdicts your assuming to decide a nice point in this regard1 it may be waived by merely naming the parties in such a way as to give precedence to neither--thus3 ,gentlemen1 allow me--,mr4 ,w----1 ,mr4 ,v----1 or1 ,gentlemen1 allow me the pleasure of making you known to each other1 and then simply pronounce the names of the two persons4 ,by the way1 let me call your attention to the importance of an audible and distinct enunciation of names1 when assuming to make an introduction4 ,a quiet1 self-possessed manner1 and intelligibility should be regarded as essential at such times4 ,when introducing persons who are necessarily wholly unacquainted with each other's antecedents of station or circumstance1 it is eminently proper to add a brief explanation1 as--,mr4 ,preudhomne1 let me introduce my brother-in-law1 ,general ,peters1--,mr4 ,preudhomne1 of ,paris1 or2 ,mrs4 ,blandon1 with your permission1 ,i will present to you ,senor ,abenno1 a ,spanish gentleman4 ,senor ,a4 speaks ,french perfectly1 but is unacquainted with our language2 or1 ,mr4 ,smithson1 this is my friend ,mr4 ,brown1 of ,philadelphia--like ourselves1 a merchant2 or1 ,my dear1 this is ,captain ,blevin1 of the good ship ,neversink1--,mrs4 ,nephews1 sir4 ,never say ,my wife1 or ,my daughter1 or ,my sister1 ,my father-in-law1 or the like1 without giving each their proper ceremonious title4 ,how should a stranger know whether your daughter is-- ,sole daughter of your house and heart1 or ,miss ,lucy1 or ,belinda1 the third or fourth in the order of time1 and1 consequently1 of precedence1 or what may chance to be the name of your father-in-law1 or half-sister1 etc41 etc4 ,well-bred people address each other by name1 when conversing1 and hence the awkwardness occasioned by this vulgar habit1 which is only equalled by that of speaking of your wife as ,my wife1#aj or worse still1 my lady6 ,is it not enough1 when your friends know that you are married1 and are perfectly familiar with your own name1 to speak of ,mrs4 ----1 and to introduce them to the mistress of your house by that designation8 ,it is a solecism in good manners to suppose it unsuitable to designate the members of your own family by their proper titles under all circumstances that would render it suitable and convenient to do so in the instance of other persons4 ,never fall into the ,american peculiarity on this point1 ,i entreat you4 ,say--,my father1 ,dr4 ,v----1 or ,my sister1 ,miss ,v----1 ,mrs4 ,col4 ,v----1 my sister-in-law1 or1 ,my sister1 ,mrs4 ,john ,jenkins1 with as scrupulous a regard for rank and precedence1 as though dealing with strangers4 ,indeed1 you virtually ignore all personal considerations1 while acting in a social relation merely4 #aj ,this reminds me of another habit that is becoming prevalent in this new land of ours--that of men's entering themselves upon the ,registers of ,hotels1 ,ocean ,steamers1 etc41 as ,m4 ,a4 ,timeson and lady6 or1 ,mr4 ,g4 ,simpson and wife4 ,what can possibly be the objection to the good old established form of ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,m4 ,a4 ,timeson1 or ,george and ,mrs4 ,simpson1 or ,mr4 ,g4 ,simpson4 ,mrs4 and the ,misses ,simpson8 ,the rules of etiquette very properly interdict indiscriminate introductions in general society4 ,no one has a right to thrust the acquaintance of persons upon each other without their permission1 or1 at least1 without some assurance that it will be agreeable to them to know each other4 ,strangers meeting at the house of a mutual friend1 in a morning visit1 or the like1 converse with each other1 or join in the general conversation without an introduction1 which it is not usual among fashionable people to give under such circumstances4 ,if you wish to present a gentleman of your acquaintance to a lady1 you first ask her permission1 either in person or by note1 to take him to her house1 if she be married1 or to do so at a party1 etc41 where you may chance to meet her4 ,in the instance of a very young lady1 propriety demands your obtaining the consent of one of her parents before adding to her list of male acquaintances1 unless you are upon such terms of intimacy with her family and herself1 as to render this superfluous2 and so with all your friends4 ,it is better1 however1 even where unceremoniousness is admissible1 to err upon the safer side4 ,among men1 greater license may be taken2 but1 as a rule1 ,i repeat1 persons are not introduced in the street1 in pump-rooms1 in the public parlors of hotels1 or watering-places1 meeting incidentally at receptions or at morning visits1 etc42 and not even when they are your guests at large dinners1 or soirees1 without their previous assent or request4 ,of course1 such rules1 like all the laws of convention1 are established and followed for convenience1 and should not be regarded1 like those of the ,medes and ,persians1 as unchangeable4 ,good sense and good feeling will vary them with the changes of circumstance4 ,no amiable person1 for instance1 will hesitate to set them aside for the observance of the more imperative law of kindness1 when associated with those who are ignorant of their existence 7as many really excellent persons are71 and would be pained by their strict observance4 ,neither should the most punctilious sticklers for form think it necessary to make a parade of the mere letter of such rules1 at any time4 ,it is the spirit we want1 for the promotion of social convenience and propriety4 ,perhaps it may be as well in this connection as in any other1 to say a word about the matter of visiting cards4 ,fashion sanctions a variety of forms for this necessary appendage4 ,in ,europe1 it is very common to affix the professional or political title to the name1 as ---- ----1 ,professor in the ,university of ,heidelburg1 or1 ---- ----1 ,conseiller d',etat12 and an ,englishman in public life often has on his card the cabalistic characters--,in ,h4,m4,s4--7in ,her ,majesty's ,service74 ,among the best-bred ,americans1 ,i think the prevalent usage is to adopt the simple signature1 as ,henry ,wise1 or to prefix the title of ,mr41 as ,mr4 ,seward4 ,sometimes1--particularly for cards to be used away from home--the place of residence is also engraved in one corner below the name4#aa #aa ,persons belonging to the ,army and ,navy use their full titles1 with the addition of ,u4,s4,a41 or ,u4,s4,n4 ,europeans occasionally adopt the practice of having the corners of the reverse side of their cards engraven across with such convenient words as ,pour dire ,adieu 7to say good bye74 ,congratulation 7to offer congratulations74 ,pour affaire 7on an errand1 or on business74 ,arrive 7tantamount to in town74 ,the appropriate corner is turned over1 as occasion requires1 and the sentence is thus brought into notice on the same side with the name4 ,business cards should never be used in social life1 nor should flourishes1 ornamental devices1 or generally unintelligible characters be employed4 ,a smooth1 white card1 of moderate size1 with a plain1 legible inscription of the name1 is in unexceptionable taste and ton1 suitable for all occasions1 and sufficient for all purposes1 with the addition1 when circumstances require it1 of a pencilled word or sentence4 ,but to return to our main subject4 ,letters of ,recommendation partake of the general character of those of introduction4 ,it is sufficient to add1 in regard to them1 that they should be conscientiously expressed4 ,all that can be truthfully said for the advantage of the bearer1 should be included2 but1 as ,i have before remarked1 no one is obliged to compromise his own integrity to advance the interests of others in this manner1 more than in any other4 ,letters of ,condolence require great care and delicacy of composition4 ,they should relate chiefly1 as a rule1 to the subject by which they are elicited1 and express sympathy rather than aim at administering consolation4 ,no general directions can be made to embrace the peculiarities of circumstance in this regard4 ,suffice it to say that the inspiration of genuine feeling will dictate rather expressions of kindly interest for the sufferer you address1 of respect and regard for a departed friend1 or an appreciation of the magnitude of the misfortune you deplore1 rather than coldly polished sentences and prolonged reference to one's self4 ,letters of ,congratulation should embody cheerfulness and cordiality of sentiment1 and be at an equal remove from an exaggeration of style1 suggesting the idea of insincerity or of covert ridicule1 and from chilling politeness1 or indications of indifference4 ,to rejoice with those who rejoice is indeed a pleasing and easy task for those who are blessed with a genial nature1 and enrich themselves by partaking in the good fortune of others4 ,letters expressing this pleasure admit of a little more egotism than is sanctioned by decorum in some other cases4 ,one may be allowed to allude to one's own feelings when so pleasurably associated with those of one's correspondent4 ,brevity is quite admissible in letters both of condolence and felicitation--referring1 as they properly do1 chiefly to one topic2 it is in better taste not to introduce extraneous matter into them1 especially when they are of a merely ceremonious nature4 ,letters to ,superiors in ,station or ,age demand a respectful and laconic style4 ,no familiarity of address1 no colloquialisms1 pleasantries1 or digressions1 are admissible in them4 ,they should be commenced with a ceremoniously-respectful address carefully and concisely expressed1 and concluded with an elaborate formula1 of established phraseology4 ,the name of the person to whom they are written should be placed near the lower1 left hand edge of the sheet1 together with his ceremonious title1 etc4 ,no abbreviations of words--and none of titles1 unsanctioned by established usage1 should be introduced into such letters1 and they should bear at the commencement1 below the date1 and on the left hand side of the paper1 the name of the person addressed1 thus3 ,,washington ,,city1 ,feb4 #b;d1 #ahfc4 ,,honorable ,,edward ,,everett3-- ,,sir1 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,i am1 sir1 ,very respectfully1 ,your humble servant1 ,j4 ,f4 ,,carpenter4 ,,hon4 ,,edward ,,everett1 ,secretary of ,state1 for the ,u4 ,s4 ,be careful to remember that it is unsuitable to commence a communication to an entire stranger an official letter1 or one of ceremony1 in reply to a gentleman acting in the name of a committee1 etc41 etc41 with ,dear ,sir4 ,this familiarity is wholly out of place under such circumstances1 and it is matter of surprise that our public men so frequently fall into it1 even in addressing public functionaries representing foreign countries here1 etc4 ,in this respect1 as in many others1 their quality1 as that most discerning satirist1 ,punch1 has recently said of the style of one of our men in high office--is not strained6 ,the veterans of ,diplomatic or of ,congressional life should let us see that practice has refined their style of speaking and writing1 rather than remind us that they have come to the lees of intellect6 ,i have1 for several years past1 remarked the published letters of one of the distinguished men of the ,empire ,state1 as models of graceful rhetoric and good taste4 ,i refer now1 not to the political opinions they may have expressed1 but to their literary execution4 ,they indicate the pen of genius--no matter what the occasion--whether declining to break ground for a canal1 to lay the corner-stone of a university1 acknowledging a public serenade1 or expounding a political dogma1 a certain indescribable something always redeems them alike from common-place ideas1 and from inelegance of language4 ,see if your newspaper profundity will enable you to guess the name of the individual to whom ,i refer4 ,diplomatic ,letters require a style peculiar to themselves1 in relation to which it would be the height of temerity in me to adventure even a hint4 ,the ,public ,documents of our own country and of ,england1 afford models for those of you who shall have occasion for them1 as members of the ,corps ,diplomatique4 ,letters of ,friendship and ,affection must1 of course1 vary in style with the occasions and the correspondents that elicit them4 ,a light1 easy1 playful style is most appropriate4 ,and one should aim rather at correctness of diction than at anything like an elaborate parade of language4 ,grammatical inaccuracies and vulgarisms are never allowable among educated people1 whether in speaking or writing2 nor is defective spelling excusable4 ,punctuation and attention to the general rules of composition should not be overlooked1 as thus only can unmistakable intelligibleness be secured4 ,avoid all ambitious pen-flourishes1 and attempts at ornamental caligraphy1 and aim at the acquisition of a legible1 neat1 gentleman-like hand1 and a pure1 manly1 expressive style1 in this most essential of all forms of composition4 ,the possession of excellence in this accomplishment will enable you to disseminate high social and domestic pleasure4 ,nothing affords so gratifying a solace to friends1 when separated1 as the reception of those tokens of remembrance and regard4 ,they only who have wandered far1 far away from the ties of country1 friends1 and home1 can fully appreciate the delight afforded by the reception of letters of a satisfactory character4 ,and the welcome assurances of the safety1 health1 and happiness of the absent and loved1 is the best consolation of home-friends4 ,practice1 patience1 and tact1 are equally essential to the acquisition of ease and grace in this desirable art4 ,wit1 humor1 and playfulness are its proper embellishments1 and variety should characterize its themes4 ,a certain egotism1 too1 is not only pardonable1 but absolutely requisite1 and may even become delicately complimentary to the recipient of one's confidence4 ,let me remind you1 too1 that--though offence of spoken words may be excused by the excitement of passing feeling--the deliberate commission of unkind1 or1 worse still1 of unjust1 untruthful1 injurious language1 to paper1 argues an obliquity of moral vision little likely to secure the writer either ,what nothing earthly gives1 or can destroy1 ,the soul's calm sunshine1 or the respect and regard of others4 ,facility in writing familiar letters may be increased by the habit of mentally recording1 before inditing them1 as opportunity affords material1 such incidents of travel1 items of personal interest1 or gossiping intelligence1 etc41 as may be thought best suited to the tastes of your correspondents4 ,and it is well1 before closing such communications1 not only to glance over them to satisfy yourself of their freedom from mistakes1 but by that means to recall any omission occasioned by forgetfulness4 ,notes of ,invitation1 of ,acceptance1 and ,regret1 require1 of course1 brevity and simplicity of expression4 ,the prevailing mode of the society you are connected with1 is usually the proper guide in relation to these matters of form1 for the time being4 ,thus the mere formula of social life at ,washington1 ,boston1 ,charleston1 ,paris1 or ,st4 ,petersburg1 may be somewhat varied1 as usage alone frequently determines these niceties1 and all eccentricities and peculiarities in this respect1 as in most others1 are in bad taste4 ,cards1 or ,notes1 of ,invitation to ,dinners and ,soirees1 are frequently printed1 and merely names and dates supplied in writing4 ,the example of the best society 7in the most elevated sense of that much-abused phrase7 everywhere1 sanctions only the most unpretending mode of expression and general style1 for such occasions4 ,the utmost beauty and exquisiteness of finish in the mere material1 but the absence of all pretentious ornament1 is thought most unexceptionable4 ,invitations to ,dinner should be acknowledged at your earliest convenience1 and--whether accepted or declined--in courteously ceremonious phraseology4 ,in the instance of invitations#ab to ,balls and ,evening-,parties1 ,weddings1 etc41 haste is not so essential2 but a seasonable reply to such civilities should by no means be neglected4 #ab ,i was somewhat surprised lately1 in perusing an agreeable novel1 written by one of our countrywomen1 to observe her use of the word ticket as synonymous with invitation1 or card of invitation4 ,a ticket admits one to a concert1 the opera1 or theatre but one receives an invitation1 or card of invitation to a dinner1 ball1 or evening-party1 at a friend's house4 ,all misnomers of this kind savor of under-breeding--they are vulgarisms1 in short1 unsanctioned either by taste or fashion4 ,when you wish to take a friend--who is a stranger to the hostess--with you to an evening entertainment1 and are upon sufficiently established terms with her to make it quite proper to do so1 acknowledge your invitation at once1 and request permission to take your friend--thus affording an opportunity1 if it is requisite1 for the return of an invitation enclosed to you for your proposed companion4 ,some form like the following will answer the purpose3 ,mr4 ,thomas ,brown has the honor to accept ,mrs4 ,mason's very polite invitation for next ,thursday evening4 ,with ,mrs4 ,mason's permission1 ,mr4 ,brown will be accompanied by his friend1 ,mr4 ,crawford1 of ,cincinnati1 who is at present temporarily in ,new ,york4 ,,carlton ,,house1 ,monday morning1 ,december #bhth4 ,among intimate friends1 it is sometimes most courteous1 when declining an invitation1 in place of a mere formal regret to indite a less ceremonious note1 briefly explanatory1 or apologetic4 ,essential good-breeding is the best guide in these occasional deviations from ceremonious rules4 ,formal notes of invitation1 and the like1 should not be addressed to several persons inclusively4 ,of course1 a gentleman and his wife are invited in this inclusive way1 as are the unmarried sisters of a family1 when residing in the same house2 but visitors to one's friends1 a married lady and her daughters1 as well as the younger gentlemen of a family1 should1 severally1 have separate notes1 directed to them individually1 where ceremony is requisite1 though all may1 for convenience1 be enclosed in the same envelope1 with a general direction to the elder lady of the house4 ,letters1 or notes1 commenced in the third person1 should be continued throughout in the same form4 ,it is obviously incorrect 7though of frequent occurrence71 to adopt such phraseology as--,mr4 ,small presents his compliments to ,miss ,jones1 etc41 and to conclude with ,yours respectfully1 ,g4 ,small4 ,this mode of expression 7the third person71 is only adapted to brief communications of a formal nature4 ,no address and signature are required when the names of the recipient and of the writer are introduced into the body of the note1 as they necessarily are4 ,the place of residence 7if written71 and the date1 are placed at the left hand side of the paper1 below the principal contents4 ,letters designed to be mailed--such as are written to persons living at a distance from your own place of residence--should have your proper mail address legibly written on the right hand side of your sheet1 above the rest of the communication1 together with the date4 ,notes addressed to persons residing in the same place with yourself1 require only the name of the street you reside in1 and your number1 with the day of the week--as ,clinton ,place1 ,thursday ,p4 ,m41 or1 ,no4 #f ,great ,jones ,st41 ,monday morning--which is usually placed below the other portions of the missive4 ,it is usual to write short notes of ceremony so as to have the few lines composing them in the middle of the small sheet used4 ,forms of signature and address vary in accordance with the general tenor of letters4 ,when they are of an entirely ceremonious character1 or addressed to superiors1 usage requires an elaborate address and subscription2 but the style of familiar epistles permits throughout every variety of language that good taste and good feeling may invent or sanction4 ,only let there be a general harmony in your compositions4 ,do not fall into the inadvertency of the person who addressed a missive full of the most tender expressions of regard to his mistress1 and signed it--,yours respectfully1 ,clark1 ,smith ,co4 ,legibility1 ,intelligibility1 and ,accuracy are requisite in the direction of all epistolary compositions4 ,correct taste demands some attention to the subject of ,writing-,materials4 ,it is now becoming the practice to use small-sized paper for communications of ceremony and friendship1 continuing the contents through several sheets1 if necessary1 and numbering each in proper succession4 ,it is1 also1 usual to write ceremonious letters on but one side of a sheet1 and to leave a wide margin upon the left hand side1 and a narrower one on the opposite edge of the paper4 ,the finest1 smoothest paper should always be used1 except for mere business matters2 and1 though some passing fashion may sanction tinted paper1 pure white is always unexceptionable4 ,all fancy ornaments1 colored designs1 etc41 etc41 are in questionable taste4 ,if ornamental bordering1 or initial lettering is adopted1 the most chaste and unpretending should be preferred4 ,except for mailing1 envelopes should correspond exactly with the sheet inclosed4 ,envelopes sent by post should be strong and large-sized4 ,sometimes it is well to re-enclose a small envelope1 corresponding with the written sheet1 in a large1 firm cover1 and to write the full direction upon that4 ,sealing wax should always be used for closing all epistles1 except those of an entirely business nature4 ,stamps and seals may vary with taste4 ,a plain form with an unbroken face1 suffices2 or initials1 a device and motto1 one or both2 or hereditary heraldic designs may be preferred4 ,letters intended to go by mail on the continent of ,europe1 should be written on a single1 large sheet of thin paper1 and not enveloped4 ,it is as ill-bred not to reply to a communication requiring an acknowledgment1 or to neglect proper attention to all the several matters of importance to which it relates1 as it is not to answer a question directly and personally addressed to you4 ,promptitude is also demanded by good-breeding1 in this regard4 ,necessity only can excuse the impoliteness of subjecting a friend1 or business-correspondent1 to inconvenience or anxiety1 occasioned by delay in replying to important letters4 ,tyros in epistolary composition may derive advantage from noting the peculiar excellences of the published letters of celebrated authors and others2 not for the purpose of servile imitation1 but as affording useful general models1 or guides4 ,miscellaneous readers may note the genial humor and patient elaborateness characterizing the letters of the ,great ,unknown1 the felicities of expression sometimes observable in the familiar missives of ,byron1 and of his friend ,tom ,moore 7when the latter is not writing to his much-put-upon ,london publisher for table-supplies1 etc467 amuse himself with the gossiping capacity for details exhibited by those of ,horace ,walpole1 and con1 with wondering admiration1 the epistolary illustrations of the well-disciplined1 thoroughly-balanced character of the great ,american model1 of whose writings it may always be said--whether an order1 written on a drum-head1 or the draught of a document involving the interests of all humanity is the subject--that they are well done4 ,among the collections of letters ,i remember to have read1 none now occur to me as offering more variety of style than those included in the ,memoirs of ,h4 ,more4 ,they are a little old-fashioned now1 perhaps2 but some of them1 both for matter and manner1 are1 in their way1 unsurpassed in ,english literature4 ,some of those of ,sir ,w4 ,w4 ,pepys1 ,i recollect as peculiarly pleasing4 ,several of the published letters of ,dr4 ,johnson1 and one or two of those of our own ,franklin1 are to be regarded as among the curiosities of literature1 rather than as precedents which circumstances will ever render available1 or desirable4 ,johnson's celebrated letter to ,lord ,chesterfield1 declining his proffered patronage1 for instance--and ,franklin's1 concluding with the witty sarcasm-- ,you are now my enemy1 and ,i am ,yours1 ,b4 ,,franklin4 ,at some future time1 perhaps1 the literary treasures of our country will be enriched by specimens of the correspondence of such of our contemporaries as inspire the highest admiration for their general style of composition4 ,who could fail to peruse with interest1 letters from the pen of ,prescott1 who never makes even such a physical infirmity as his1 a plea for inaccuracy1 or carelessness of expression8 ,and who would not hail with delight any draught presented by the bounteous hand of ,irving1 from1 ,the well of ,english undefiled1 whence he himself has long quaffed the highest inspiration6 99 99 99 99 99 ,there they are6 shouted ,james4 ,here they come6 exclaimed ,miss ,mary ,marston4 ,they have made good time1 the lazy dogs1 for once6 said ,i4 ,oh1 ,i'm so glad6 echoed the silvery cadences of ,nettie ,brown1 who seemed about to dance to the music of her own merry voice4 ,i hope----began the dove-like murmur of a fair invalid3 she ceased1 and her dewy eyes told all she would have said4 ,god grant us good news6 said our venerable compagnon de voyage1 fervently1 a shade of anxiety clouding his usually benignant countenance4 ,ladies1 excuse me6 ,i beg you to remember that they may not bring anything--let me prepare you for a disappointment6 ,these words were uttered1 with apparent reluctance1 by a young man1 whose pale face and dark melancholy eyes seemed to lend almost prophetic emphasis to his warning tones4 ,nettie ceased to clap her little hands2 ,jovial ,james looked as grave as his usually rollicking1 fun-twinkling eyes permitted2 the stately ,mary could only look fixedly towards the approaching ,arabs1 the serenity of our patriarchal friend was more than ever disturbed2 sweet ,isidore grew marble pale1 and leaned heavily back upon the sculptured pillar against which we had secured her camp-seat1 and your uncle ,hal--well6 he is a proverbial philosopher1 you know6 ,there we were1 amid the solemn magnificence of the ruined palaces and temples of once-mighty ,thebes4 ,our little party was gathered in front of the great ,propylon of the famous ,temple of ,luxor1 whose mysterious grandeur we had come many thousands of miles to behold4 ,massive pillars1 covered with minutely-finished picture-writing and mystic hieroglyphics1 sufficient for the life-long study of the curious student2 enormous architraves1 half-buried colossi1 far-reaching colonnades1 grand1 gloomy and peculiar2 the world-famed ,memnon2 the grim1 tomb-hallowed mountains--all the wonders of the ,nile1 of ,el ,uksorein1 of ,karnac1 surrounded us6 ,but humiliating reflections upon the mutability of human greatness and human power1 the eager speculations of the disciples of ,champollion1 sarcophagi and sculptured ceilings1 and scarabaei and ,sesostris1 alike sunk into matters of insignificance and indifference when compared with the expectation of ,letters from ,home6 ,that most amiable and hospitable of ,mussulmans1 ,mustapha ,aga1 the traveller's friend1 had engaged the ,sheik 7heaven spare the mark67 of one of the squalid ,arab villages1 whose mud walls cluster upon the roofs of the grand halls and porticoes of ancient ,thebes--reminding one of animalculoe by comparison--to accompany my servant and one or two of our dusky satellites to a point in the vicinity1 to which the ,american and ,english consuls at ,cairo had engaged to forward our letters1 etc4 ,our motley band of couriers was now seen advancing along the low bank of the river1 and all was eager anticipation and impatience4 ,the ceremony of distribution was speedily accomplished1 and an observer of the scene1 like our calm1 silent host1 the kindly ,mustapha1 might almost read the contents of the different letters of the several members of our little group reflected in the faces of each4 ,jovial ,james sunk down at once at the feet of the fair ,nettie1 who had sacrilegiously seated herself upon the edge of an open sarcophagus1 with a lap full of treasures1 before which her hoarded antiques--and she was the most indefatigable collector of our corps--relapsed again into the nothingness from which her admiration had1 for a time1 redeemed them4 ,something very much like a tear glistened in the bright eyes of the frolicksome youth as he murmured1 half-unconsciously ,mother1 and sunshine and shadow played in quick succession over the mirroring features of the fair girl4 ,the usually placid ,mary ,marston fairly turning her back upon us1 beat a retreat towards a prostrate column and half-concealed herself among its crumbling fragments2 and our sweet1 fast-fading flower1 for whose comfort each vied with the other1 the beautiful ,isidore1 clasped her triple prizes between her slight palms1 and folding them to her meek bosom1 lifted her soft eyes toward the heaven that looked alike on ,egypt and on her native land1 and whispered ,home6 ,oh1 father take me ,home6 ,not one word does ,frank say about remittances--the most important of all subjects6 cried ,james1 with his elbows on his knees1 and a half-filled sheet held out before him in both hands4 ,he is the most provoking fellow6--just look1 ,nettie1 how much blank paper1 too1 sent all the way from ,manhattan ,island to ,upper ,egypt1 he added1 with a serio-comic tap on the paper4 ,good enough for you6 retorted his frequent tormentor2 you wouldn't write from ,rome to him1 as ,i begged you to---- ,but1 most amiable ,miss ,consolation 'on a monument1 smiling at grief1' don't you recollect that you favored him with three 'great big' sheets1 crammed1 crossed1 and kissed---- ,do go away1 ,james ,wilson6 you are a regular squatter1 as they say at home2 really1 if you are not established on my skirt6 laughed his merry companion1 reddening1 however1 at his skillful sally4 ,james1 well used to repulses1 made not even a pretence of removing his quarters2 but1 tracing with his forefinger in the sand1 began to tease his pretty neighbor for news from home1 protesting that men were the poorest letter-writers1 and that his correspondents in particular1 never said anything6 ,but what had become of the thoughtful friend whose warning voice had checked too eager expectation in his companions1 whilst ----thou1 oh ,hope1 with eyes so fair1 made wild tumult in each eager breast8 ,i marked his face1 as he stood apart from the excited group gathered about the bearer of our dispatches4 ,it was almost as immobile and coldly calm as those of the polished colossi around us1 save for the burning eyes that seemed actually to devour the several directions that were glanced over1 or read aloud by others4 ,his hands1 too1 were tightly clutched1 as though he were thus self-sustained4--,poor fellow6 ,i had frequently noticed his manner before1 where the happiness of others arrested attention2 it indicated1 to me1 a serenity like that of the expiring hero who waved his life-draught to another1 hiding1 with a smile1 the outward signs of tortured nature6 ,almost before the last package was unfolded1 he was advancing with rapid strides along the majestic avenue leading from our stand-point towards the ruins of ,karnac1 and was soon lost to sight amid its massive ornaments4 ,how easily might some friendly hand have shed balm upon his sad and solitary spirit1 on that memorable day in far-off ,nile-,land1 when so many hearts were gladdened with the sweet sunlight enkindled by letters6--so many faces illumined with smiles reflected from the ever-glowing altars of ,,country and ,,home6 99 99 99 99 99 ,sir ,walter ,scott1 as his son-in-law informed me1 despite the vast amount of intellectual labor he otherwise imposed upon himself1 with as little flinching1 apparently1 as though his mind were a powerful self-regulating steam-engine1 had the habit of always answering letters on the day of their reception6 ,mr4 ,lockhart told me that1 during the researches he made among the private papers of his immortal friend1 while preparing materials for his biography1 he almost invariably remarked1 from the careful notations upon them1 that when any delay had occurred in replying to a letter1 it arose from the necessity of some previous investigation1 or the like4 ,my astonishment upon perusing the long1 elaborately-written epistles that ,mr4 ,lockhart subsequently gave to the world1 was augmented by my knowledge of this fact1 and by my remembrance of the innumerable demands made upon his time by social and public duties4 ,but we ne'er shall look on his like again6 ,well might his pen be styled the wand of the mighty ,wizard of the ,north4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a gentle tap at the library-door interrupted the after-dinner chat of my old friend and myself4 ,a fair young face presented itself in answer to the bidding of my host1 and1 upon seeing me was quickly withdrawn4 ,come in1 my daughter1 come--what will you have8 ,i rose immediately to withdraw1 as the young lady1 thus encouraged1 somewhat timidly advanced towards her father4 ,pray1 do not disturb yourself1 ,colonel ,lunettes1 said she2 ,i only want to speak to pa one moment2 don't think of going away1 ,i beg---- ,my host1 too1 interposed to prevent my leaving the room1 and ,i1 therefore1 took up a book and re-seated myself4 ,excuse me for interrupting you1 pa1 but may ,i--here a whisper1 and then so audibly that ,i could not help overhearing--do please1 dear pa6 ,well1 we'll see about it--when is the concert8 rang out the clear voice of the father4 ,but1 pa1 ,i ought to answer the note to-night or very early to-morrow morning--it would not be polite to keep ,mr4 ,blakeman---- ,a note1 eh8 interrupted the old gentleman1 let me see it--go bring it to me4 ,i thought ,i could not be mistaken in the indication of reluctance to obey this direction evinced by the slow step of my usually sprightly-motioned young favorite4 ,come1 ,fanny1 come1 said her father1 when she re-entered1 you have no objection to showing me---- ,oh1 no1 indeed1 pa1--but you are so critical1 the young lady began to protest4 ,critical6 am ,i though6 exclaimed the parent1 with some vivacity1 perhaps so--at least ,i judge somewhat1 of a man's claims to the acquaintance of my daughter by these things4 ,and1 adjusting his spectacles1 he opened the note his daughter offered4 ,bless my soul6 he cried1 at the first glance1 what bright-colored paper1 and how many grand flourishes--really1 my dear6 ,there was a brief silence and then the father said mildly1 but firmly1 ,fanny1 ,i prefer that you should not accept this invitation4 ,will you tell me why1 pa8 ,because the writer is not a gentleman6 ,no man of taste and refinement would write such a note as this to a lady1 with whom he has only the ceremonious acquaintance that this young man has with you4 ,he is evidently illiterate1 too1--his note is not only inelegantly expressed1 but it is mis-spelled---- ,oh1 pa---- ,i assure you it is so4 ,your own education is more defective than it should be with the advantages you have had1 if you cannot perceive this--read it again1 and tell me what word is mis-spelled1 said her father1 returning the production under discussion to ,fanny4 ,the young lady sat down by the lamp to con the task assigned her1 and my host said to me--,it is unpardonable1 now-a-days1 for a young man to be ignorant in such matters as these4 ,when we were young1 ,hal1 the means of acquiring knowledge generally1 were limited by circumstances2 but who that wishes1 lacks them at present8--,well1 my daughter---- ,yes1 pa1 ,i see1--of course it was a mere slip of the pen---- ,a slip of the pen6 retorted the father1 and is that a sufficient excuse8 ,proper respect will teach a young man of right feelings towards your sex1 to take good care that no such carelessness retains a place in his first billet to a lady--it is an indication of character1 my child6 ,depend upon it1 that the man who writes in this way1--encircling some of his words with a flourish1 abbreviating others1 mis-spelling1 and all upon mottled paper1 with a highly ornate border1 does not understand himself1 and will be guilty of other solecisms in good manners and good taste1 that will be very likely to embarrass and shock a young lady accustomed to---- ,the society of gentlemen of the old school1 like pa and ,col4 ,lunettes6 exclaimed ,fanny1 in her usual laughing manner1 snatching up the condemned missive1 and flying out of the room4 ,in the course of the evening1 my old friend and ,i joined the ladies in the drawing-room4 ,a merry group around a centre-table1 attracted me1 and as the fair ,fanny made a place beside her agreeable little self for me1 ,i was soon settled to my satisfaction in the midst of the fair bevy4 ,what are you all so busy about8 ,i inquired1 as ,i seated myself4 ,oh1 criticising6 cried one4 ,acquiring knowledge under difficulties1 replied another4 ,accomplishing ourselves in the ,art ,epistolary1 by the study of models6 returned a third4 ,and sure enough1--the table was strewed with cards1 and notes1 and an empty fancy-basket told where these sportive critics had obtained their materials4 ,i soon gathered that the scrutiny ,fanny's note had undergone in the library1 was the moving cause of this sudden resuscitation of defunct billet-doux and forgotten cards4 ,only look at this one1 ,col4 ,lunettes6 exclaimed a pretty girl opposite me1 handing across a visiting card1 with the name written with ink1 in rather cramped characters1 and surrounded with a variety of awkward attempts at ornamental flourishes4 ,isn't that sufficient to condemn the perpetrator to 'durance vile' in the paradise of fools8 ,well1 here is a beautiful note1 at any rate1 exclaimed the eldest daughter of the house1 even papa would not find fault with this-- ,what are you saying about papa8 inquired the master of the mansion1 pausing in his walk up and down the room1 and leaning upon the back of his daughter's chair4 ,won't you join us1 sir8 returned the young lady1 making a motion to rise2 let me give you my seat4 ,no1 no1 sit still1 child--let us hear the note that you think unexceptionable4 ,it is as simple as possible1 said she1 but though it only relates to a matter of business1 ,i remember noticing1 when ,i opened it1 the elegant writing and---- ,well1 let us hear it1 my daughter4 ,thus impelled1 the fair reader began3 ,henry ,wynkoop presents his respectful compliments to ,miss ,campbell1 and begs leave to inform her that the goods for which she inquired1 a few days since1 have arrived1 and are now ready for her inspection4 #bdj ,,main ,,st41 ,wednesday ,morning1 ,may #bb;d4 ,i should have said1 added ,miss ,campbell1 that ,i had simply requested ,mr4 ,wynkoop to send me word about some shawls1 when any of the family happened in there1 and did not think of troubling him to send a note4 ,let me see1 said her father1 taking the paper from her hand1 yes6 just what one might expect from that young fellow--fine1 handsome1 plain paper a glance at poor ,fanny and a neat modest seal--all because a lady was in question2 and one can read the writing as if it were print4 ,look at it1 ,lunettes6 ,a promising young merchant--a friend of ours1 here4 ,an educated merchant--what every man should be1 who wishes to succeed in mercantile life in this country4 ,yes1 returned ,i1 ours is destined1 if ,i do not greatly mistake1 to be a land of merchant princes1 like ,venice of old1 and ,i quite agree with you that ,american merchants should be educated gentlemen6 ,this young ,wynkoop1 continued my friend1 is destined yet to fill some space in the world's eye1 unless ,i have lost my power to judge of men4 ,he seems to find time for everything--the other evening he was here--7the girls had some young friends7--and1 happening to step into the library1 ,i found him standing with one of the book-cases open1 and just reaching down a volume--',i beg your pardon1 sir1 if ,i intrude1' said he1 'but ,i was going to look for a passage in the ,deserted ,village1 as ,i am not so fortunate as to possess a copy of ,goldsmith4' ,of course ,i assured him that the books were all at his service1 and apologized for closing the door1 and seating myself at my desk1 saying that a rascally ,canadian lawyer had sent me a letter so badly written that ,i could scarcely puzzle it out1 and that his bad ,french was almost unintelligible at that4 ,i confess ,i was surprised when he offered to assist me1 saying very modestly1 that nothing was more confusing than patois to the uninitiated1 but that he had chanced to have some experience in it4 ,so he helped me out very cleverly1 in spite of my protestations at his losing so much time1 and when he found he could not aid me farther1 looked up his lines1 put back my book1 and quietly bowing1 slipped out of the room4 ,when ,i went back to the girls1 later in the evening1 ,i heard my young friend singing with some lady1 in a fine clear voice1 and1 soon after1 discovered him in another room dancing1 'money musk' with my own wife for his partner6 ,while this little sketch was in progress of narration1 the inspection of the miscellaneous display upon the table had been silently progressing4 ,and each pretty critic had made some discovery4 ,here is a 'regret' sent for the other night1 said ,fanny1 what do you think of that1 ,col4 ,lunettes8 ,and a large sheet of note paper was put into my hand1 clumsily folded1 and containing only the words ,mr4 ,augustus ,simpkin regrets4 ,a good deal is left for the imagination1 ,i replied1 regrets what8 ,that he is a numskull1 perhaps1 but ,i fear there is not that encouragement for his improvement6 broke in the ,chairman of this ,committee of ,investigation4 ,the general laugh that followed this spicy comment had no sooner subsided1 than another note caught my eye1 by its handsome penmanship4 ,glancing it over1 ,i handed it to one of the young ladies without comment4 ,she 'looked unutterable things1' as she quietly refolded the missive1 and was about to slip it out of sight2 but the dancing eyes of the lively ,fanny had caught the whole movement1 and she insisted upon what she called fair play4 ,so the paper was again subjected to perusal--this time aloud4 ,,baltimore1 ,july #bd1 '#fa4 ,william ,jones takes this means of making an apology for not calling for ,miss ,mary last evening4 ,i assure you no offence was intended1 and hope you did not take it so4 ,yours affectionately1 ,p4 ,,william ,,jones4 ,the ,,miss ,,campbells4 ,how did that get into the card-basket8 exclaimed ,miss ,campbell1 in consternation1 it ought to have been destroyed at the time---- ,it has risen up in judgment against the writer now1 said ,fanny1 but he is much improved since then4 ,he knows better now than to say 'the ,miss ,campbells'1 or---- ,or sign himself ',yours affectionately1' to a document commenced in the third person4 ,so he does1 child1 and he proved himself essentially polite by writing the note--the hand is really very commendable4 ,i have no doubt the young man will yet acquire considerable note-ability6 ,and throwing the tell-tale paper into the fire1 the charitable commentator proceeded in his walk4 ,a propos--,a propos was echoed round the merry circle1 as a servant handed a note to ,miss ,campbell4 ,miss ,fanny ,campbell1 read her sister1 and resigned the billet to its rightful owner4 ,every one protested that it should be common property1 unless its contents were a secret2 and the blushing1 half-pouting beauty was constrained to open and inspect her note where she sat4 ,i insist upon fair play in ,miss ,fanny's case1 also1 said ,i1 coming to the rescue1 and shall do myself the honor of acting as her champion4 ,with that ,i spread out her gossamer handkerchief1 and throwing it over the top of my cane1 affected to screen the rosy face beside me4 ,taking advantage of my ruse1 my pretty favorite opened her note1 and1 partly retreating behind my broad shoulder1 soon possessed herself of its contents4 ,there1 said she1 throwing it into the middle of the table1 you may all read it and welcome6 ,brown heads and black1 sunny curls and chestnut bands1 were immediately clustered together over the prize1 and ,fanny1 springing away1 like a bird1 was1 in a moment1 perched on an arm of the large chair in which her father was now ensconced1 with her arm around his neck1 and her beaming eyes glancing out from his snowy locks4 ,let ,colonel ,lunettes see it1 you rude creatures6 exclaimed my lively favorite1 from her retreat1 and the note was immediately presented to me4 ,wiping my glasses with deliberation suitable to the occasion1 ,i pressed my hand upon my throbbing heart1 and read as follows3 ,it will afford ,mr4 ,howard ,parkman great pleasure to attend ,miss ,fanny ,campbell to a ,concert to be given by the ,hungarian ,family1 to-morrow evening4 ,if she will permit him that honor1 ,mrs4 and ,miss ,parkman1 accompanied by ,mr4 ,p41 will call for ,miss ,campbell at half past seven o clock4 ,,coleman ,,st41 ,tuesday ,p4 ,m4 ,that's another rival for you1 ,colonel ,lunettes1 exclaimed one of the girls4 ,i fear my doom is sealed6 returned the old soldier thus addressed1 with an air of mock resignation4 ,but who is this formidable youth1 ,miss ,campbell8 ,a ,bostonian1 ,i believe1 replied the young lady2 cousin ,charley introduced him to us at ,mrs4 ,gay's ball the other evening1 and asked us to call upon his mother and sister--they are friends of his4 ,he was here this morning with cousin ,charley1 but we were out4 ,how stylish6 said one of our critical circle1 re-examining the elegant billet of the stranger4 ,quite au fait1 too1 you see1 young ladies1 ,i added1 he invites ,miss ,fanny to go with a proper chaperon to the concert1 as he is so slightly acquainted with her4 ,as ,i limped across the room towards them1 ,i heard my friend say to his daughter1 who still retained her seat1 certainly1 unless you prefer to go with ,mr4 ,blakeman4 ,oh1 pa6 protested the sweet girl1 but what excuse shall ,i make to ,mr4 ,blakeman8 ,tell him1 in terms1 that your father does not permit you to go anywhere1 alone1 with a young man with whom he has no acquaintance--,lunettes1 you're not going8 rising as he spoke4 ,it is high time--my carriage must be waiting4 ,miss ,fanny1 permit me the privilege of an old friend1--kissing her glowing cheek--and1 as she skipped out into the hall with her father and me1 ,i whispered--,about this young ,bostonian8 ,is it all over with him8 ,what1 ,hal--jealous8 exclaimed her father1 laughing--do you fear the flight of our gazelle1 here8 ,no danger of my eloping6 ,no1 indeed6 at least with any one except--,colonel ,lunettes6 replied the charming little witch1 as her nimble fingers fastened my wrappings4 ,bravo6 cried her father2 that would be glorious6 ,seventeen and---- ,eighty-two1 interrupted your old uncle2 ,may and ,december6 ,but1 happily for me1 fair ,fanny1 my heart can never grow old while ,i have the happiness of knowing you4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i hope none of you will ever1 even when writing in a foreign language1 fall into the mistake made by a young ,pole1 with whom ,i once had a slight acquaintance4 ,he was paying his addresses to a young lady1 and1 while most assiduously making his court to the fair object of his passion1 was temporarily separated from her1 by her leaving home on a pleasure excursion4 ,at the first stopping-place of her party1 the lady found a letter awaiting her1 written in the neatest manner1 and in excellent ,english--which her lover spoke in a very imperfect manner4 ,it appeared to the recipient of this complimentary effusion1 however1 at the first glance1 that its contents were not especially relevant to the occasion of a first billet-doux from her admirer4 ,reading it more deliberately1 something familiar in the language struck her suddenly1 and after pondering a moment1 she turned over the leaves of a new book which was among the literary stores of our travelling-party1 and soon came to the exact counterpart of passage after passage1 as recorded in the letter of the gallant ,pole6 ,the volume was1 ,i think1 ,hannah ,more's ,memoirs1 which had probably been recommended to the young student of our language by his teacher1 or some friend1 as containing good specimens of the epistolary style6 99 99 99 99 99 ,with the hope that you may all escape being the subjects of such merriment as was occasioned by the discovery of my fair friend1 ,i remain1 as ever1 ,affectionately yours1 ,,harry ,,lunettes4 ,,letter ,,ix4 ,,accomplishments4 ,,my ,,dear ,,nephews3 ,though accomplishments are a very poor substitute for the more substantial portions of a thorough education1 no one should be so indifferent to the embellishments of life as wholly to neglect their cultivation4 ,with ,europeans some attention to this subject always makes part of a thorough education1 but among a new people1 differing so essentially from the nations of the ,old ,world in social habits1 the leisure and inclination that induce such a system of early discipline are both still wanting--speaking generally4 ,it is not the lack of wealth--of that we have enough--but of a cultivated1 discriminating taste1 the growth of time and favoring circumstances1 which is not yet diffused among us4 ,but1 though our young men1 even of the more favored class1 do not enjoy the carefully-elaborated system of early training1 common abroad1 personal effort will produce a result similar in effect1 if well-directed and steadfastly pursued1 and the best of all knowledge--that most beneficial in its influence upon character--is acquired by unaided individual exertion4 ,young ,americans1 above the men of all other countries1 should lack no incentive to add1 as occasion may permit1 tasteful polish to the more essential solidity of mental acquirements4 ,i know of nothing better calculated to foster refinement and purity of life than the cultivation of a ,taste for the ,fine ,arts4 ,i do not refer to a dillettante affectation of familiarity with the technicalities of artistic language1 or to fashionable pretension and an assumption of connoisseurship1 but to honest1 manly1 aesthetical perceptions1 quickened and elevated by familiarity with the true principles of ,art1 and by the study of the highest productions of genius4 ,some knowledge of the practice1 as well as of the principles of drawing1 is a very agreeable and useful accomplishment1 and one that may be acquired with little or no instruction1 save that to be obtained from books4 ,among the advantages collaterally arising from familiarity with this art1 is the increased quickness and enjoyment it lends to a discernment of the beautiful in nature1 both in its minute manifestations and its grand developments4 ,a fondness for sketching leads1 also1 to a partiality for rural excursions1 and for the physical sciences2 and all those tastes where the main purposes of life permit their indulgence1 serve to elevate1 refine1 and expand the higher faculties1 to give them habitual dominion over the propensities and to restrain sensuous enjoyments within their legitimate limits4 ,a ,taste for ,music must1 of course1 be ranked among the elegances of social life1 but it should not be forgotten that a practical knowledge of any one branch of this ,art has no direct effect to enlarge the mind1 like that of ,painting1 for instance4 ,it is only a sensuous pleasure1 though a refined one1 and is1 as ,i have had frequent occasion to remark1 too frequently permitted to engross both time and faculties that should properly be1 in part1 at least1 more diffusively employed4 ,musical skill1 though a pleasant acquirement1 is not a sufficient substitute for an acquaintance with general ,literature and ,art2 nor will its most exquisite exhibitions always furnish an equivalent for intellectual pleasures1 whether of a personal or social nature4 ,dancing should be early learned1 not only because1 like musical knowledge1 it is a source of social and domestic enjoyment1 but as materially assisting in the acquirement of an easy and graceful carriage and manner4 ,it is a good antidote1 too1 to mauvaise honte1 and almost essential among the minor accomplishments of a man of the world4 ,riding and ,driving should never be neglected by those who possess the means of becoming familiar with them4 ,convenience1 health and pleasure combine to recommend both4 ,no indulgence of the pride of skill1 however1 should be permitted to exalt these accessories of a polite education into the main business of life1 as ,i believe ,i have before reminded you4 ,the broadsword exercise1 pistol-shooting1 athletic sports and games1 sporting1 gymnastic exercises1 etc41 etc41 may be ranked among the minor manly accomplishments with which it is desirable to be familiar4 ,of no small importance1 and of no insignificant rank as an accomplishment1 is a ready and graceful elocution4 ,possessed by professional men1 its value can scarcely be overrated1 and no young man1 whatever his aims in life1 should esteem it unworthy of attention1 since private as well as public life afford constant occasion for its exercise4 ,to read intelligibly1 audibly1 and agreeably1 to speak with taste and elegance1 to address an audience--whether a mass assemblage of the sovereign people1 or the servants of the people1 in ,congress assembled1 or an intelligent audience gathered for intellectual instruction and enjoyment1 each require careful and persevering practice1 critical discrimination and disciplined taste4 ,and what young ,american--with that control of circumstances which especially distinguishes us from all other peoples1 with the high aspirations and purposes to which all are equally entitled--shall say that he will not have the most urgent occasion for1 and derive high advantage from the acquisition of the ,art of ,elocution8 ,but1 apart from considerations of utility1 correct speaking and writing are indispensable requisites to the privileges of good society1 and elegant polish in this respect is the desirable result and certain indication of natural refinement4 ,i will only add that elocutionary skill always affords the possessor the means of promoting social and domestic enjoyment1 and that the finest sentiments and the most eloquent language lose half their proper effect when uttered in a mumbling or muttering tone1 as well as in too loud or too low a voice4 ,closely allied to the accomplishment of which we have been speaking1 is that of ,conversational ease and elegance1 an art in which all other nations are excelled by the ,french1 and in which we1 perhaps1 most successfully emulate them4 ,unfortunately for our social advancement in this respect1 ,the well of ,english undefiled is not the only source from which the vehicle of thought is derived4 ,the use of slang phrases1 of crack words1 even among the better educated classes of society--and that in writing as well as in conversation--is becoming noticeably prevalent4 ,nothing can be more detrimental to the advancement of those who desire to acquire colloquial polish than the habit of using this inelegant language1 and there is nothing into which one may glide more insensibly1 when it becomes familiar from association4 ,you will1 perhaps1 say that the amusement afforded to others by the occasional adoption of these mirth-provoking vulgarisms affords an apology for their use2 and that would be a legitimate excuse1 did the matter end there4 ,but who can hope successfully to establish the line of demarcation that shall separate the legitimate sphere of their applicability from that in which they cannot properly claim a place8 ,we know how much we are all under the dominion of habit in regard to the artificial observances of life1 and that once established1 any practice in which we indulge ourselves may manifest itself unconsciously to us4 ,hence1 then1 it is no more safe to acquire the habit of interlarding our discourse with inelegances of expression1 ungrammatical language1 ,yankeeisms1 localisms 7to coin a word if it be not one1 more expressive here than provincialisms7 or vulgarisms of any kind1 than to permit ourselves the perpetration of other solecisms in good-breeding1 with the protection only of a mental limitation to their undue encroachment upon our claims to refined associations4 ,there is1 therefore1 no safe rule1 except that dictating the unvarying adoption of the purest and most expressive idiomatic ,english we can command4 ,i remember to have heard it said of a celebrated conversationist1 whom ,i knew in my younger days1 that he not only always used a good word to express his meaning1 but the very best word afforded by our language4 ,the habit of thinking clearly might naturally be supposed to produce the power of conveying ideas to others with distinctness1 were not the impression controverted by much evidence to the contrary4 ,i must believe1 however1 that the difference between persons1 in this respect1 arises more frequently from want of attention to the subject1 than from all other causes combined4 ,i know of no other way of sufficiently explaining the awkward1 slipshod1 unsatisfactory mode of talking so common even among educated people4 ,were we accustomed to regarding conversational pleasures as among the highest enjoyments of existence1 and of making them a part of our daily life--as the ,french of all ranks do--a vast difference would exist between what is1 and what might be4 ,with what intensity of interest1 with what vivacity of manner do the polite and cultivated ,french talk6 ,the salons of the leaders of ton in ,paris are nightly filled with the literati1 the artists1 the soldiers and statesmen concentered in that brilliant capitol4 ,and they assemble not to eat1 not even to dance1 to the exclusion of all other gratifications1 but to talk--to exchange ideas upon topics and incidents of passing interest--to receive and to communicate instruction1 as well as enjoyment4 ,and even the common people--whether eating their frugal evening repast at a little table placed in the street1 or seated in groups in the garden of the ,tuileries--how they talk6 with what abandon--to use their own word--with what geniality1 with what sprightliness6 ,the very children1 sporting like so many birds of gorgeous plumage1 and musical tones1 in the public gardens and promenades1 prattle of matters interesting to them1 with a graceful vivacity nowhere else to be seen4 ,all classes give themselves up to it--take time for it1 as one of the necessities of daily life6 ,but ,i should apologize for this digression4 ,the advantage of habitual practice1 then1 cannot be too highly commended to those who would acquire colloquial skill4 ,there is1 also1 no better mode of fastening knowledge in the mind than by accustoming one's self to clothing ideas in spoken language1 and the mere attempt to do so1 gives distinctness to thought4 ,but while fluency and ease are the results of practice1 the embellishments of conversation require careful culture4 ,wit1 ,humor1 ,repartee1 though to some extent natural gifts1 may undoubtedly be improved1 if not attained1 by artificial training4 ,it is said that ,sheridan1 one of the most celebrated wits and conversationists of his day1 prepared himself for convivial occasions1 like an intellectual gladiator1 ready to enter the lists in a valiant struggle for supremacy4 ,he may be said to have made ,conversation a ,profession1 to which he gave his whole attention1 as did the celebrated youth who exceeded all his fellows in the tie of his neck-cloth1 to that mysterious art6 ,sheridan's practice was1 to make brief notes1 before going into society1 of appropriate topics and witticisms for each occasion1 upon which he relied for sustaining his reputation as a boon companion and accomplished talker4 ,there is a good story told of his being exceedingly nonplussed1 on some important occasion1 by having his memoranda purloined by a friend1 who1 while waiting to accompany the wit to an entertainment to which both were invited1 stole his thunder from his dressing-table1 where it had been placed in readiness4 ,the unlucky literary ,boanerges was as powerless as ,jupiter robbed of his bolts6 ,but if one would not desire preparation as elaborately artificial as that ascribed to this spoiled fondling of ,english aristocracy1 there seems to be a propriety in making some mental1 as well as external arrangements before entering society4 ,thus1 passingly to reflect1 while making one's toilet for such an occasion1 upon the general character of the company one is to meet1 and upon the subjects most appropriate for conversation with those with whom one will probably be individually associated1 may not be amiss4 ,nor will it be unwise to recall such reminiscences of personal adventures1 popular intelligence1 etc41 as the day may have furnished4 ,happily1 however1 for those who distrust their power to surprise by erudition1 or delight by wit1 good-sense1 accompanied by good-humor and courtesy1 render their possessors the most enduringly agreeable of social and domestic companions4 ,the favorites of society are usually those who wound no one's self-love1 either by imposing upon others a painful sense of inferiority1 or by rudeness1 impertinence1 or assumption4 ,few have sufficient magnanimity to forgive superiority1 but good-nature and politeness need no excuse with any4 ,oh1 let the ungentle spirit learn from hence1 ,a small unkindness is a great offence6 99 99 99 99 99 ,all may shun the guilt of giving pain4 ,wit1 however racy1 should never find a place in conversation when pointed at the expense of another1 and1 indeed1 personalities1 even when free from condemnation on this score1 are usually in bad taste4 ,people of sensibility and refinement are much more likely to be annoyed than gratified by being made the auditors of conversation1 even when politely intended1 which brings them into especial notice4 ,hence1 nothing requires more delicacy and tact than the language of compliment1 which should always be carefully distinguished from that of mere flattery4 ,the one is the expression of well-bred courtesy1 the other is oppressive and embarrassing to all rightly constituted persons1 and discreditable to the taste by which it is dictated4 ,as a general rule1 it is better to talk of things than of persons1 and ,william ,penn's rule to say nothing of others1 unless you can say something good of them1 should have no exception4 ,let nothing tempt you into the habit of indulging in gossip1 scandal1 and unmanly puerility--not even a good-natured desire to assimilate yourself to the companionship of temporary associates4 ,in this respect1 as in many others1 ,vice is a monster of such hideous mien1 ,as to be hated1 needs but to be seen2 ,but seen too oft1 familiar with her face1 ,we first endure1 then pity1 then embrace4 ,no conscientiously-enlightened man can reflect for a moment upon the heinousness of slander1 or indeed of evil speaking when not allied with falsehood1 without abhorrence2 and yet1 how few can assume that1 in ,heaven's ,high ,chancery1 there is no such dark record against them4 ,permit me to remind you that a mere difference of intonation or of emphasis1 in repeating conversational remarks1 will sometimes suffice to convey a wholly erroneous impression to others1 and that a mysterious glance1 a nod1 a shrug1 a smile1 may be made equivalent to the offense of spoken words4 ,i have recommended the adoption of good1 pure ,english as the most unexceptionable colloquial coin4 ,recurring to this point1 let me express the opinion that the most pretentious1 or erudite language1 is not always that best adapted to the purposes of practical life4 ,no one is bound to speak ungrammatically or incorrectly1 even when communicating with the illiterate1 but the simplest phraseology1 as well as the most laconic1 is often the most appropriate and expressive1 under such circumstances4 ,companionship with the educated justifies the use1 without justly incurring the charge of pedantry1 of every mode of conveying ideas that we are assured is intelligible to them4 ,thus classical scholars may use the learned languages1 if they will1 in mutual intercourse2 and the popular and familiar words and phrases we have borrowed from the ,french1 are often a convenient resource1 under similar circumstances4 ,all this is best regulated by good-breeding and taste4 ,it is always desirable to err on the safe side1 where there is a possibility of misapprehension1 or of incurring the imputation of affectation1 or of a love of display4 ,this last consideration1 by the way1 affords an additional incentive to the selection of such companionship as is best suited to elicit the exercise of conversational grace1 and stimulate the mental cultivation upon which it must be based4 ,in addition to this advantage1 is that thus afforded of familiarizing one's self with the usages of those who may be regarded as models for the inexperienced4 ,the modesty so becoming in the young1 will inspire a wish to listen rather than talk2 but--though to be an attentive and interested listener is one of the most agreeable and expressive of compliments--remember that practice1 if judiciously directed1 cannot be too soon attempted1 to secure this desirable attainment4 ,these remarks1 ,i am fully aware1 have been desultory and digressive1 but they were designed to be rather suggestive than satisfactory2 and experimental knowledge will1 ,i trust1 more than compensate you for my conscious deficiencies4 ,i will add only a general remark or two1 and then no longer tax your patience4 ,the ladies--dear creatures6--are most prone1 it must be admitted1 to the use of exaggerated language1 in conversation2 with them the superlative form of the adjective will alone suffice for the full expression of feeling or opinion4 ,but this peculiarity is by no means confined to those in whom enthusiasm and its natural expression are most becoming4 ,the sterner sex are far from being exempt from this habit1 which often involves looseness of thought1 inaccuracy of statement1 or positive untruthfulness4 ,it is desirable1 as a point of ethics1 to practise care in this regard4 ,using the strongest forms of expression on ordinary occasions1 leaves one no reserved corps of language for those requiring unusual impressiveness4 ,accuracy is the great essential1 many times1 in the choice of language4 ,a clear idea1 clearly and unequivocally expressed1 is indicative of a good and well-disciplined intellect1 each1 as ,i have before intimated1 the result of attention and practice4 ,well-bred people are careful1 when obliged to differ with others in conversation1 to do so in polite language1 and never to permit the certainty of being in the right to induce a dictatoral or assuming manner4 ,when only a difference of opinion or of taste is involved1 young persons1 particularly1 should scrupulously abstain from any appearance of obstinacy1 or self-sufficiency1 and defend their impressions1 if at all1 with a courteous deference to others4 ,usually1 nothing is gained by argument in general society4 ,no one is convinced1 because no one wishes to be1 and many persons1 even when 'convinced1 will argue still1' because unwilling1 from wounded self-love1 to admit it4 ,much acrimony of feeling is engendered in this way--pertinacity often causing an unpleasant conclusion to what was begun in entire good-feeling4 ,no one is bound to renounce a claim to his individual rights in this respect1 but modesty and courtesy will never sit ill upon the young1 while steadfastly defending even a point of principle4 ,never1 said ,mr4 ,madison1 in an admirable letter of advice to a nephew1 never forget that1 precisely in proportion as you differ from others in opinion1 they differ with you4 ,let me add1 that they who are honestly seeking knowledge and truth1 will carefully review and re-weigh opinions1 tastes1 and principles in regard to which they find themselves differing essentially with those whom age1 experience1 and learning render their admitted superiors4 ,and if contradiction and opinionativeness are inadmissible in good society1 at least equal taste and tact are required in conveying information to others4 ,some graceful phrase1 some self-renouncing admission or explanation1 which may secure you from the envy or dislike that wounded vanity might otherwise engender1 should not be forgotten when circumstance or education give you an advantage over others in the intercourse of domestic or social life4 ,as in smooth oil the razor best is whet1 ,so wit is by politeness sharpest set2 ,their want of edge from their offense is seen1 ,both pain us least when exquisitely keen1 ,the fame men give is for the joy they find6 ,it is usually in bad taste to talk of one's self in general society4 ,humility of language1 in this respect1 may easily be interpreted into insincerity1 and it is at least equally difficult1 on the other hand1 to avoid the imputation of egotism4 ,frankness with those to whom you are bound by the ties of friendship1 will1 many times1 be the best proof you can give of the sincerity of your confidence and regard1 but this will in no degree interfere with a certain self-abnegation in ordinary social intercourse4 ,politeness may dictate our being listened to with a semblance of interest1 when our own health1 affairs1 adventures1 or misfortunes are the subject of detailed discourse on our part1 but the sympathy of the world is not easily enkindled1 and pity is often mingled with contempt4 ,people go into society to be amused1 not to have their courtesy taxed by appeals to sensibilities upon which others have no claim4 ,carlyle has well said1 ,silently swallow the chagrins of your position2 every position has them4 ,and it is so2 but one's private griefs are not lessened by exposure1 nor made more endurable by being constantly the theme1 either of one's thoughts or conversation4 ,let me add that their legitimate use is to teach us a ready sympathy with the sorrows and trials of others1 rather than a hardened self-engrossment4 ,while you endeavor1 therefore1 to ,conceal yoursel' as weel's ye can ,frae critical dissection1 seek to excel in personal agreeability1 not for the sake of superiority so much as to secure the means of giving pleasure to others1 and of entitling yourself to the favorable regard of those whose society it is desirable to enjoy4 ,even the readiest admirers of wit may weary of the very brilliancy of its flashes1 if the coruscations too constantly recur1 as the eye tires of sheet-lightning1 often repeated2 but who will weary of geniality1 amiability1 and ,good breeding1 the blossom of good sense1 any sooner than will the eye of the lambent light of fair ,diana8 ,no single characteristic of conversation1 perhaps1 so universally commends the possessor to the favor of society1 as cheerfulness4 ,a laugh1 said an eminent observer of society1 is the best vocal music2 it is a glee in which everybody can take part6 ,i remember1 once1 being for some weeks in a hotel with a number of invalids1 one of whom1 though a constant sufferer1 always met me with a pleasant smile1 and uttered his passing salutations in a voice cheery as a hunter's horn4 ,really1 his simple ,good morning1 ,colonel ,lunettes1 was so replete with good-humor1 courtesy1 and cheerfulness1 as to do one good like a cordial4 ,it so impressed me that1 at length1 ,i responded1 ,good morning1 cheerful sir1--,i believe you never fail to greet your friends in a manner that gives them pleasure4 ,his pleasant smile grew pleasanter1 and his bright eye brighter1 as he replied--,i always make a principle of speaking cheerfully to the sick1 especially--they1 of all others1 are most susceptible to outward impressions4 ,there is a world of philosophy1 as well as of humanity1 in what you say1 returned ,i1 and ,i can personally testify to the good effects of your kindly habit4 ,but it is not alone the sick1 the sad1 or the sensitive who hail a cheerful companion with delight--these ,human ,sunbeams bring warmth and gladness to all--even the least susceptible feel the effects of their genial presence1 almost unconsciously1 and frequently seek and enjoy their conversation when even elegance and erudition would fail of attraction4 ,the same tact and self-respect that will preserve you from exhibitions of vanity and egotism1 will dictate discrimination in the selection of topics of conversation1 bearing upon matters of taste and sentiment1 as well as of opinion and principle4--,all affectation or assumption of superiority in this respect is offensive and worse than useless4 ,those with whom you have mental affinities will understand and appreciate you2 but beware1 especially if sensitively constituted1 how you expose your sensibilities to the ridicule1 or your principles to the professed distrust of those with whom1 for any reason1 you cannot measure colloquial weapons upon entirely equal terms4 ,on the contrary1 again1 no well-bred man ever rudely assails either the predilections or the principles of others in general society4 ,this is no more the proper arena for intellectual conflicts than for political sparring1 or theological disputes4 ,whatever tends to disturb the general harmony of a circle1 or to give pain to any one present1 is inexcusable1 however truthful and important in the abstract1 however wise or witty in itself considered1 may be observations tending to either or both results4 ,this brings me to dwelling a moment upon a kindred point--the discourtesy sometimes exhibited by young men towards ladies and clergymen1 in the use of equivocal language1 and the introduction of exceptionable subjects in their hearing4 ,anything that will crimson the cheek of true womanhood1 or invade the unconsciousness of innocence1 is unworthy and unmanly1 to a degree of which it is not easy to find language to express sufficient abhorrence4 ,the defencelessness of the dependent sex1 in this1 as in all other respects1 is their best protection with all who-- ,give the world assurance of a man6 ,and the same shield is presented by those whose profession precludes their adopting the means of self-defence permitted to the world at large4 ,nothing can be more vulgar--setting aside the immorality of the thing--than to speak disrespectfully of religion1 or of its advocates and professors1 in society--what then shall be said of those who assail the ears of the acknowledged champions of ,christianity with infidel sentiments1 contemptuous insinuations1 or profane expletives8 ,depend upon it1 a man of the world1 whatever his honest doubts1 or unorthodox convictions1 will be as little likely to present himself as a mark in regard to these matters for the suspicious distrust1 or the palpable misapprehension of society1 as to subject himself to the charges of extreme juvenility and low breeding by assailing a clergyman with ridicule1 or a woman with libertinism1 however exquisite may be his wit in the one case1 or apparently refined his insinuations1 in the other4 ,while recommending to your attention the selection of suitable and tasteful subjects of general conversation1 ,i should not omit to remind you that nothing but acknowledged intimacy sanctions the manifestation of curiosity respecting the affairs of others4 ,as a rule1 direct questions are inadmissible in good society4 ,listen with politeness to what may be voluntarily communicated to you by your associates1 regarding themselves1 but on no account1 indulge an impertinent curiosity in such matters2 and when courtesy sanctions the manifestation of interest1 express your desire for information in polite language1 and with a half-apologetic manner1 that will permit reserve1 without embarrassment to either party4 ,let me add1 that an uncalled-for exhibition of your familiarity with the private affairs of a friend1 when his own presence and manner should furnish your proper clue to his wishes1 is to prove yourself unworthy of his confidence4 ,as well might one boast of his acquaintance with the great1 or assume an unceremonious manner towards them1 on unsuitable occasions4 ,in either case1 one is liable to the repulse sustained by an unfortunate candidate for fashionable distinction1 who1 approaching a member of ,english haut ton in the streets of ,london1 said1 ,i believe ,i had the honor of knowing you in the country1 sir4--,when we again meet in the country1 was the reply1 ,i shall be pleased to renew the acquaintance6 ,quickness of repartee may be reckoned among the graces of the colloquial art1 and those who are gifted with activity of intellect1 and have acquired facility in the use of expressive language1 should possess the power thus to embellish their social intercourse4 ,every one is now and then inspired in this way1 ,i believe2 but few persons1 comparatively1 even among the most practised conversationists1 excel in this respect4 ,how few1 for instance1 would have responded as readily1 in an emergency1 as did the half-drunk servant of ,swift3 ,is my fellow here8 inquired the ,dean1 pushing open the door of a low tavern much frequented by his often-missing valet4 ,a nondescript figure came staggering forward1 and stuttered out--,your ,l-,lordship's f-a-l-l-o-w can't b-be f-found in all ,i-,ire-,ireland6 ,i have lately met1 somewhere in my reading1 with the following anecdote of the elder ,adams1 as he is frequently called4 ,i remember1 at this moment no better illustration of ready repartee3 ,how are you this morning1 sir8 asked a friend who called to pay his respects to this patriotic son of ,new ,england1 during the latter days of his life4 ,not well1 replied the invalid2 ,i am not well4 ,i inhabit a weak1 frail1 decayed tenement1 open to the winds1 and broken in upon by the storms1 and what is worse1 from all ,i can learn1 the landlord does not intend to make repairs6 ,a ready and graceful reply to a compliment1 may1 also1 be regarded as a conversational embellishment4 ,it is not polite to retort to the language of courtesy with a charge of insincerity1 or of flattery4 ,playfulness frequently affords the best resource1 or the retort courteous1 as in ,lord ,nelson's celebrated reply to ,lady ,hamilton's questions of ,why do you differ so much from other men8 ,why are you so superior to the rest of your sex8 ,if there were more ,emmas1 there would be more ,nelsons4 ,one may say1 ,i fear ,i owe your commendation to the partiality of friendship2 or1 ,i trust you may never be undeceived in regard to my poor accomplishments2 or1 ,really1 madam1 your penetration enables you to make discoveries for me4 ,then again1 to one of the lenient sex1 one may reply--,mrs4 ,blank sees all her friends through the most becoming of glasses--her own eyes4 ,and to an older gentleman1 who honors you with the fiat of a compliment1 thus proving that it may sometimes be false that ,the vanquished have no friends1 ,really1 sir1 ,i do not know whether ,i am most overwhelmed by admiration for your wit and politeness1 or by gratitude for your kindness4 ,or some phrase like this will occasionally be appropriate--,i am afraid1 sir1 ,i shall plume myself too highly upon your good opinion4 ,you do me much honor2 or1 ,it will be my devoir1 as well as my happiness1 for the future1 to deserve your commendation1 sir2 or1 ,you inspire as much as you encourage me1 dear sir--if ,i possess any claim to your flattering compliment1 you have yourself elicited it4 ,to a compliment to one's wit1 or the like1 one may reply--,dullness is always banished by the presence of ,miss ----2 or1 ,who could fail to be1 in some degree1 at least1 inspired in such a presence8 ,then1 again1 a reply like this will suffice--,i am only too happy in being permitted to amuse you1 madam4 ,permit me in this connection1 a few words respecting conversation with ladies4 ,though all mere silliness and twaddle should be regarded as equally unworthy of them and yourselves1 yet1 in general association with the fairest ornaments of creation1 agreeability1 rather than profundity1 should be your aim1 in the choice of topics4 ,sensitive1 tasteful1 refined1 ,and variable as the shade ,by the light quivering aspen made1 their vividness of imagination and sportiveness of fancy demand similarity of intellectual gifts1 or the graceful tribute of1 at least1 temporary assimilation4 ,playfulness1 cheerfulness1 versatility1 and courtesy should characterize colloquial intercourse with ladies2 but the deference due them should never degenerate into mere servile acquiescence1 or mawkish sentimentality4 ,the utmost refinement of language and of matter should always be regarded as essential1 under such circumstances1 to the discourse of a well-bred man2 and should1 of course1 distinguish his manner as well4 ,thus1 all slang phrases1 everything approaching to double entendre1 all familiarity of address1 unsanctioned by relationship or acknowledged intimacy1 all mis-timed or unsanctioned use of nick-names and ,christian names1 are as inadmissible in good society as are personal familiarities1 nudging1 winking1 whispering1 etc4 ,too much care cannot be taken in avoiding all subjects that may have the effect to wound or distress others4 ,i think ,i have before remarked that people go into society for enjoyment--relaxation from the grave duties and cares of life--not to be depressed by the misanthropy of others1 or disturbed by details of scenes of horror4 ,i have known persons who had such a morbid taste for such things as always to insist upon reading aloud1 even in the hearing of children and ladies1 the frightful newspaper details of rail-road accidents and steamboat explosions4 ,i remember1 in particular1 once having the misfortune to be acquainted with such a social incubus1 to whom a death in the neighborhood was a regular ,god-send1 and to whom the wholesale slaughter made by the collision of rail-cars served as colloquial capital for weeks--indeed until some provident body corporate supplied new material for his cormorant powers of mental digestion6 ,his letters to distant friends were a regular bill of mortality1 filled with minute accounts of the peculiar form of disease by which every old woman of his acquaintance was enabled to shuffle off this mortal coil1 and of every accident that occurred in the country for miles around--from the sudden demise of a poor widow's cow1 to the broken leg of a robber of bird's-nests6 ,i shall never forget the revulsion of feeling he produced for me1 one serene summer evening1 as ,i was placidly strolling over the sands by the sea-shore1 drinking in the glory of old ,neptune's wide-spread realm1 by inflicting upon me1 not only himself--which was enough for mortal patience--but a long rigmarole about the great numbers of fishes washed upon the shore by a recent storm1 who had had their eyes picked out by birds of prey1 while still struggling for life in an uncongenial element6 ,on another occasion1 ,i had the misfortune to be present when a young lady was thrown into violent hysterics by his mentioning1 with as much gusto as an inveterate collector would have exhibited in boasting the possession of a steak from the celebrated antediluvian beef1 immortalized by ,cuvier1#ac that he had picked up a small foot with a lady's boot on it1 while visiting the scene of a late rail-road accident6 #ac ,speaking in one of his public lectures1 of the recent discovery 7amid the eternal snows of ,siberia1 ,i think71 of the carcass of a mastodon1 upon which the hunting-dogs of the explorers had fed--,thus1 said the great naturalist1 did modern dogs gorge themselves upon antediluvian beef6 ,but avoiding these aggravated forms of grossness is not enough4 ,true politeness requires attention to the peculiarities of each of the company you are with--teaching1 for instance1 your abstaining from allusions to their personal defects or misfortunes1 to the embarrassment of conversing with deaf persons1 in the presence of those thus afflicted1 to lameness1 when some one present has lost a limb1 to the peculiarities of age1 in the hearing of elderly persons1 to the vulgar impression that all lawyers are knaves1 when one of the sons of that noble profession is among your auditors--to the murderous reputation of the disciples of ,esculapius1 etc4 ,this rule will teach1 too1 the use of a less offensive term than that of old maid1 when speaking of women of no particular age1 in the hearing of such as are by courtesy only1 without the pale alluded to2 and the propriety of not appealing to such authority in relation to matters of remote personal remembrance6 ,in no country with the social institutions of which ,i am familiar1 do the peculiar opinions obtain1 which prevail in this country respecting age4 ,young ,america regards every one as old1 apparently1 who has attained majority1 and women1 in particular1 are subjected to a most unjust ordeal in this respect4 ,the ,french have a popular saying that no woman is agreeable until she is forty2 and in both ,france and ,england1 marriage--which first entitles a young lady to a decided position in society--usually occurs at a much later period in her life than with us4 ,in neither of those countries are girls brought out at an age when here they are frequently already mothers6 ,but to return3 nothing is more ill-bred1 than this too frequent assumption of the claims of women to be exempt from social obligations and deprived of their proper places in society1 in this country1 while still retaining all their pristine claims to agreeability4 ,polished manners1 cultivated tastes and personal attractions1 are not to have their claims abrogated by ,time4 ,you remember the poet says3 ,the little ,loves are infants ever1 ,the ,graces are of every age6 ,i well remember being intensely chagrined by an exhibition of under-breeding in this way while making a morning visit1 with a young countryman of ours1 upon a beautiful ,english girl1 a distant relative of his4 ,after discussing ,london fogs1 and other kindred topics1 ,jonathan suddenly burst forth1 as if suddenly inspired with a bright thought4 ,how's the old lady8 ,the largest pair of blue eyes1 opening to their full extent1 turned wonderingly upon the querist4 ,your mother1--is she well this morning8 ,mamma is pretty well1 thank you2 but it is not possible that you regard her as old6 ,mamma is in the very prime of life1 only just turned of five and forty6 ,dear mother6 she is looking very pale and sad in her widow's cap1 but we have never thought of her as old1 and a shadow1 like the sudden darkening of a fair landscape1 dimmed those deep blue eyes and that fine forehead4 ,but enough upon this collateral point4 ,i trust you will need no argument to convince you of the vulgarity and immorality of permitting yourselves the practice of repeating private conversation4 ,nothing will more surely tend to deprive you of the respect and friendship of well-bred people1 since nothing is more thoroughly understood in good society1 than a tacit recognition of that essential security to social confidence and good-feeling which utterly interdicts the repetition of private conversation4 ,let me only add to these rambling observations the assurance that a ready compliance with the wishes of others1 in exercising any personal accomplishment1 is a mark of genuine good-breeding4 99 99 99 99 99 ,during one of my visits to ,london1 some years since1 the ,duke of ---- invited me to run down with him1 for a few days1 to his magnificent estate in ----shire4 ,riding one morning with my host and a numerous party of his guests1 we paused to breathe our horses1 and enjoy the fine prospect1 upon the summit of a hill overlooking the wide-spread acres of his lordship4 ,here the estate of my neighbor1 ,mr4 ----1 joins my land1 said the ,duke1 pointing1 with his riding-whip1 towards a narrow1 thickly-wooded valley1 at our feet4 ,you catch a glimpse of his turrets through the oaks yonder4 ,this spot always reminds me1 pursued our host1 laughing1 of an amusing incident of which it was the scene1 years ago1 when the family of my neighbor had not become as distinguished as it now is1 among the philanthropists of the age4 ,a young friend of ours1 who was spending the shooting-season here with my sons1 while eagerly pursuing his game1 one morning1 unconsciously trespassed upon the preserves of ,mr4 ----4 ,the report of his fowling-piece brought ,mr4 ---- suddenly to his side1 just as he was triumphantly bagging his bird4 ,my excellent neighbor1 with all his admirable qualities1 is sometimes a little choleric1 and you know1 ,col4 ,lunettes1 bowing and smiling that nothing sooner rouses the ire of a true ,englishman1 than an invasion of the ,game ,laws4 ',sir6' cried ,mr4 ----1 in a voice trembling with ill-suppressed fury1 'do you know that you are trespassing1--that these are my grounds8' ,my young guest was not permitted fully to explain1 before the angry man again burst forth with a tirade1 which he concluded1 by asking--',what would you do yourself1 sir1 under such circumstances8 ,how would you feel disposed to treat a gentleman who had encroached upon your rights in this way8' ',well1 really1 sir1 since you ask me1 ,i think ,i should invite him to go with me to the house and take a mouthful of lunch6' ,this was irresistible6 ,even ----'s indignation was cooled by such inimitable sang froid1 and he at once adopted the suggestion of the young sportsman4 ,my witty guest not only secured the refreshment he needed1 but1 eventually1 helped himself to a bonne bouche of more substantial character1 by his marriage with one of the blooming daughters of my neighbor1 to whom he was introduced on that memorable occasion6 99 99 99 99 99 ,a young ,american of my acquaintance1 met1 not long since1 in the salons of a distinguished ,parisienne1 one of the most learnedly scientific of the ,french authors of our times4 ,i am as much surprised as ,i am delighted1 to meet you here to-night1 ,mr4 ----1 said my friend1 ,i supposed you too much occupied in profound research and study1 to find time for such enjoyments4 ,i am1 indeed1 much occupied at present1 returned the savant2 but ,i can neither more agreeably nor more profitably spend a portion of my time than in the society of my refined and cultivated friend1 ,madame ----1 and that of the intellectual and accomplished visitors ,i always meet at her house4 99 99 99 99 99 ,speaking1 in the body of this letter1 of the uselessness of arguing with the hope of convincing others1 reminded me1 by association1 of a little incident illustrative of my opinion1 of which ,i was once a witness1 during a summer sojourn at ,avon ,springs--a little quiet watering-place in the ,empire ,state1 as you may know4 ,there was a pleasant company of us1 and our intercourse was agreeable and friendly--all1 apparently1 disposed to contribute to the general stock of amusement1 and to make the most of our somewhat limited resources in the way of general entertainment4 ,there were pretty daughters and managing mammas1 heiresses1 and ladies without fortune1 who were quite as attractive as those whose fetters were of gold1 the usual complement of brainless youths1 antiquated bachelors and millionaire widowers 7so reputed71 with a sprinkling of nondescripts and old soldiers1 like myself4 ,it was our custom to muster1 in great force1 every morning1 and go in a mammoth omnibus from our hotel to the ,spring to bathe and drink the delectable sulphur-water1 there abounding4 ,on these occasions1 every one was good-humored1 obliging1 and cheerfully inclined to make sacrifices for the comfort and convenience of others4 ,the ladies1 especially1 were the objects of particular care and courtesy1 being always politely assisted up and down the high1 awkward steps of our lumbering conveyance1 with their bathing parcels1 etc4 ----,all went merry as a marriage bell1 until one unlucky day when some theological point became matter of discussion between two men of opposite opinions1 just as we were commencing our return-ride from the ,spring4 ,others were soon drawn1 first into listening1 and then into a participation in the conversation1 until almost every man in the company had betrayed a predilection for the distinctive tenets of some particular religious sect4 ,thus1 ,baptists1 ,presbyterians1 ,methodists1 ,congregationalists1 ,episcopalians1 ,unitarians1 and ,romanists stood revealed1 each the ardent champion of his own peculiar views4 ,the ladies had the good sense to remain silent1 with the exception of an ,equal ,rights woman1 whose wordy interposition clearly proved that ,fools rush in where angels fear to tread6 ,well6 of course1 no one was convinced by this sudden outbreak of varied eloquence of the fallacy of opinions he had previously entertained1 and of the superior wisdom of those of any one of his companions4 ,indeed1 so eager was each in the maintenance of his own ground1 as scarcely to heed the arguments of his opponents1 except as furnishing a fresh impulse for advancing his own with increasing pertinacity4 ,presently1 flushed cheeks1 angry glances1 and louder tones gave token that the meek spirit of the long-suffering ,prince of ,peace was not dominant in the breasts of these1 the professed advocates of his doctrines4 ,rude language1 too1 gradually took the place of the professed courtesy with which the discussion had begun1 and the ladies looked uneasily from the windows1 as if to satisfy themselves that escape from such disagreeable association was near at hand4 ,happily for them1 our ,jehu1 though unmindful of any particular occasion for haste1 at length drew up before ,comstock's portico4 ,but1 in place of the usual patient waiting of each for his turn to alight1 and the usual number of extended hands that were wont to aid the ladies in their descent1 every one of the angry combatants crowded hastily out of the vehicle1 almost before it had fairly stopped1 wholly disregardful alike of the toes of his neighbors and the claims before universally accorded to the gentler portion of our company1 and hurried up the steps1 apparently forgetful of everything except the uncomfortable chafings of wounded self-love6 ,each man1 evidently1 regarded himself as the most abused of mortals1 and the rest as a parcel of obstinate fools1 for whom it were a great waste of ammunition to assume the martyr's fate6 ,and ,i am by no means sure1 that the cheerful amicability that had before prevailed among us was ever fully restored after this unhappy outbreak of religious feeling6 99 99 99 99 99 ,the gayest of capitals experienced a sensation6 ,the wittiest of circles1 where all was wit1 were1 for once1 content to listen only6 ,the brave1 the great1 the learned1 and the fair1 contended for the smiles and the society of the ,marquis de ,plusesprit1 the handsomest1 the most accomplished1 and the wittiest man in ,paris6 ,one day1 while this social furore was at its height1 a celebrated physician received a professional visit from an unknown1 whose pale cheeks and sunken eyes bore testimony to the suffering to which he described himself as being a prey4 ,the man of science prepared a prescription1 but assured his patient that what would most speedily effect his restoration was change of scene and agreeable society4 ,seek in congenial companionship relief from the mental anxiety by which you are evidently oppressed1 said the modern ,esculapius--fly from study and self-contemplation2--above all1 court the society of the ,marquis de ,plusesprit6 ,alas6 doctor1 returned the stranger1 ,i am ,plusesprit6 99 99 99 99 99 ,speaking of ,repartee1 reminds me of a pretty scene of which ,i was a witness1 not long since1 while ruralizing for a week with an old friend and his charming daughters1 at their beautiful and hospitable home1 on the banks of the ,hudson4 ,by the way1 ,i have before introduced you to their acquaintance--the pleasant family of letter-writing memory6-- ,an elderly foreign gentleman1 of large information and agreeable manners1 but not one of fortune's favorites1 had been dining with us1 by special invitation1 and the lovely daughters of my host had vied with each other in doing honor to one in whom sensitiveness may have been rendered a little morbid by the effect of the tyrant ,circumstance4 ,every hour succeeding his arrival had served more effectually to melt away a certain constraint of manner1 by which he seemed at first oppressed1 and his expressive face grew bland and genial under the sunny influences of courteous respect and appreciation1 until when he rose to go away at sunset1 he seemed almost metamorphosed out of the man of the morning4 ,the sisters three1 accompanied their agreeable visitor to the vine-draped veranda1 where ,i was already seated1 attracted by the beauty of the evening1 and of my local surroundings4 ,i had been particularly admiring a fine large orange-tree1 at the entrance of the porch1 which was laden with flowers and fruit1 and1 with glittering pearls from a shower just bestowed upon it by the gardener4 ,will you not come again1 before ,colonel ,lunettes leaves us1 ,mr4 ----8 asked my sweet young friend ,fanny1 in her most cordial tones1 linking her arm in that of one sister1 and clasping the waist of the other1 as she spoke1 we will invoke the ,loves and ,graces to attend you---- ,the ,graces6 exclaimed the guest1 quickly1--extending his hands towards the group1 and bowing profoundly--then you will come yourselves6--the ,graces are before me6 ,and then he added1 with a courtly air--,really1 ,miss ,fanny1 you too highly honor a rusty old man---- ,an old man1 interrupted ,fanny1 with the utmost vivacity1 dissolving the linked sweetness that had intwined her with her sisters1 and extending her beautiful arm towards the superb orange-tree before her1 an old man6--here is a fitting emblem of our friend ,mr4 ----2--all the attractiveness of youth still mingled with the matured fruit of experience6 ,charming ,fanny6 ,god bless her6--she is one of those earth-angels whose manifold gifts seem used only to give happiness to others6 99 99 99 99 99 ,i called one evening1 not long since1 to pay my respects to the daughter of a recently-deceased and much-valued friend4 ,she had been persuaded into a journey to a distant city1 in search of the health and spirits that had been exceedingly impaired by watching beside the death-bed of her departed mother4 ,her appearance could scarcely fail1 as it seemed to me1 to interest the most insensible stranger to her history2--for myself1 ,i was inexpressibly touched by the language of the colorless face and languid eyes to which a simple black robe lent additional meaning4 ,just as ,i began to indulge a hope that the faint smile my endeavors at cheerful conversation had caused to flicker about her lips--as a rose-tint illumines for a moment the white summit of an ,alpine height--there entered the drawing-room of our hostess a bevy of noisy women1 young and old1 who gathered about the sofa1 where my friend and ,i were seated near our hostess1 and rattled away like so many pieces of small 7very small67 artillery4 ,i saw plainly that the mere noise was almost too much for the nerves of the silent occupant of the sofa corner2 but what was my surprise at hearing them go into the most minute particulars respecting the recent death of a gentleman of our acquaintance6 ,his dying words1 his very death-struggles were carefully reported1 and the grief of the survivors graphically described6 ,unfortunately1 having relinquished my seat beside the mourner to one of these women1 ,i was powerless in my intense wish to attract her attention from the subject of their discourse2 but my eyes were riveted upon her1 with the keenest sympathy for the torture she must be undergoing4 ,her pale face had gradually grown white as a moonbeam1 until1 at length1 as though strengthened by desperation1 she sprang from her seat1 and essayed to leave the room4 ,one step forward1 a half-stifled sob1 and the slender form lay extended on the floor in hapless insensibility4 99 99 99 99 99 ,while ,mr4 ,smith is tuning his guitar1 let us beg ,mrs4 ,williams to redeem her promise of reciting ,campbell's ',last ,man' for us1 said a graceful hostess1 mindful of the truth that some of her guests preferred eloquence and poetry to sweet sounds1 and desirous1 too1 of drawing out the accomplishments of all her guests4 ,mrs4 ,williams1 gifted with ,the vision and the faculty divine1 glanced a little uneasily at the ever-twanging guitar as she politely assented to the requests that eagerly seconded that of her hostess4 ,mr4 ,smith still continued to hum broken snatches of an air1 twisting the screws of his instrument with complete self-engrossment1 the while4 ,i will not interrupt ,mr4 ,smith1 said the lady1 in more expressive tones than were ever elicited from catgut by the efforts of that gentleman1 moving with a step graceful as that of a gazelle to the other end of the room4 ,our little circle gathered about her1 and enjoyed1 in an exquisite degree1 ,the feast of reason1 and the flow of soul1 that so far surpasses the merely sensuous pleasure afforded by music1 when not associated with exalted sentiment4 ,as the company broke into little groups1 after thanking ,mrs4 ,williams for the high gratification for which we were her debtors1 ,i overheard ,mr4 ,smith say1 with a discontented air1 to a youth with a lovely moustache1 who had accompanied him in his previous musical endeavors1 ,i'll never bring my instrument here again6 ,at this critical moment1 our hostess approached with a water-ice1 as a propitiatory offering1 and expressed the hope that the guitar was now renewed for action4 ,the musician1 with offended dignity1 only condescended to reply1 as he deposited his idol in a corner-- ,thank you1 ma'am2 ,i supposed your friends were fond of music6 99 99 99 99 99 ,discussing the mooted subject of beards one morning lately1 with some sprightly young ladies of my acquaintance1 the following specimen of quickness of repartee was elicited4 ,i record it for your amusement4 ,among the ancients1 ,i believe1 said a fair girl1 a long1 snowy beard was considered an emblem of the wisdom of the possessor4 ,and how is it in modern times8 inquired another lady1 does wisdom keep pace1 in exact proportion with length of beard8 ,no1 indeed1 exclaimed the first speaker1 laughingly1 for1 ,if beards long and bushy true wisdom denote1 ,then ,plato must bow to a hairy he-goat6 99 99 99 99 99 ,what would an educated foreigner--,kossuth1 for instance1 who learned ,english by the study of ,shakspeare--make of the following specimens of colloquial ,american language8 ,do tell1 ,jul1 exclaimed a young lady1 where have you been marvelling to8 ,you look like ,time in the primer6 ,no you don't1 returned the young lady addressed1 you can't come it over dis chil'6 ,no1 no1 chimed in a youth of the party1 you can't come it quite1 ,miss ,lib6 ,don't try to poke fun at us6 ,you've all been sparking in the woods1 ,i guess6 ,oh1 ho1 laughed one of the speakers1 ,i thought you'd get it through your hair1 at last--that's rich6 ,why6 retorted the interlocutor1 tartly1 do you think ,i don't know tother from which8 ,i think you 'know beans' as well as most ,hoosiers1 replied her particular admirer1 in a tone of unmistakable blandishment4 ,everybody knows ,jul's some pumpkins1 admitted one of her fair companions4 ,come1 ,jul1 rig yourself in a jiffy1 said a bonny lassie1 who had not yet spoken1 you are in for a spree6 ,what's in the wind--who's to stand the shot8 cautiously inquired the damsel addressed4 ,we're bound on a spree1 ,i tell you6 ,you must be green to think we'll own the corn now6 ,come1 fix up1 immediately1 if not sooner6 so saying1 the energetic speaker seized her friend round the waist and gallopaded her out of the room4 ,presently some one said1 ,well1 ,jul and ,lotty have made themselves scarce6--,i----by ,george1 it makes a fellow open his potato-trap to hang around waitin' so1 and an expansive yawn attested the sincerity of this declaration4 ,i could scare up my traps a heap sight quicker1 ,i reckon1 and tote 'em too1 from here to the river1 nigger fashion1 rejoined a ,southerner1 of the group4 ,some chicken fixins and pie doins wouldn't be so bad--would they1 though8 whispered a tall1 ,western man to his next neighbor4 ,and a little suthin to wet your whistle1 too1 added another1 overhearing the remark--you're a trump1 anyhow6 ,then you do kill a snake1 sometimes1 ,mr4 ,smith1 inquired one of his auditors1 smiling significantly4 ,does your anxious mother know you're out8 retorted ,mr4 ,smith1 twirling his fingers on his nose4 ,don't be wrathy1 ,smith--what's your tipple1 old fellow8 put in one of the young men1 soothingly stroking the broad shoulders of that interesting youth4 ,you're ,e ,pluribus--you're a brick1 returned ,mr4 ,smith1 softening1 but where in thunder are those female women8 ,they'ave sloped and given us the mitten1 ,i spose---- ,you ain't posted up1 my boy1 if you think they'd given us the slip1 answered his friend4 ,by jingo6 it takes the patience of all the world and the rest of mankind to dance attendance upon them--they ain't as peart as our gals o' wind6 cried ,mr4 ,smith1 in an ecstasy of impatience4 ,how's your ma1 ,mr4 ,john ,smith8 inquired the merry voice of ,jul1 who had entered unperceived1 you'd better dry up6 ,here we are1 let's be off1 shouted a young gentleman4 ,all aboard1 echoed another4 ,now we'll go it with a rush6 burst from a third1 and1 suiting the action to the word1 my dramatis personae vanished like the wind4 99 99 99 99 99 ,having the happiness to pass a morning at the ,louvre with my early and lamented friend1 ,washington ,allston1 he said to me1 as arm in arm we sauntered slowly through one of the ,galleries--,come and study one of my particular favorites with me--one might as well attempt to taste all the nondescript dishes at a ,chinese state-dinner as to enjoy every picture in a collection1 at a single visit4 ,i do not even glance at more than one or two1 unless ,i know that ,i shall have months before me for renewing my inspection--better take away one distinct recollection1 to add to one's private collection1 than half a dozen confused1 imperfect copies6 ,i think it was a ,murillo before which the artist paused while speaking2 the celebrated work representing a monk1 who had been interrupted by death while writing his own biography1 as being permitted to return to earth to complete his self-imposed task4 ,i am not sure but this picture1 however1 was added some years later to the treasures of the ,louvre1 by ,napoleon--for we were both young men then--however1 it matters not4 ,i was quite as much occupied in observing the living picture before me1 as that of the great master4 ,and1 though memory has proved somewhat treacherous1 ,i still vividly recollect the spiritualized face of this true child of genius1 as he contemplated the magnificent impersonation4 ,his brow grew radiant1 and his eye6 ah1 who shall portray that soul-lit eye1 or justly record the poetic language that fell1 almost unconsciously1 from his half-inspired lips6 ,sacredly are they cherished among the hoarded memories of youthful friendship8 ,it was only my purpose to recall for your benefit the opinion and practice of one so fully competent to advise in relation to our subject4 ,what ,disraeli has somewhere said of eating1 may1 with equal nicety of epicureanism1 be applied to the enjoyment of ,ideal ,art1 and of that of which it is the type--natural beauty3--,to eat1 really to eat1 asserts the discriminatingly sensuous ,jew1 one should eat alone1 in an easy dress1 by a soft light1 and of a single dish at a time6 ,for myself--but there's no accounting for tastes6--,i should desire on all such occasions1 ,one fair spirit for my minister1 or rather1 for my sympathizing companion6 99 99 99 99 99 ,as an illustration of the advantage to a man in public life1 of ready elocution and ready wit1 let me sketch for you a little scene of which ,i was the amused and interested witness1 one morning some months ago1 while on a visit at ,washington4 ,a ,chaplain was to be elected for the ,house of ,representatives4 ,general ,granger1 of ,new ,york1 proposed a ,soldier of the ,revolution as well as of the ,cross--the ,rev4 ,mr4 ,waldo--adding a few impressive facts in relation to his venerable and interesting friend--as that he was then in his ninety-fourth year1 had borne arms for his country in his youth1 etc4 ,upon this1 some member1 upon the opposition benches1 as the ,english say1 called out3 ,what are his claims8 where did he serve8 ,the gentleman will permit me to refer him to the ,pension ,office1 returned ,general ,granger1 with the most smiling urbanity2 he will there find the more satisfactory answer to his queries4 ,what are ,mr4 ,waldo's politics8 ,though a most amiable gentleman and devout ,christian1 he belongs1 sir1 to--the ,church ,militant6 ,is he a ,filibuster8 ,even so1 sir6 ,mr4 ,waldo filibustered for the ,old ,thirteen1 against ,george the ,third1 in the ,american ,revolution6 ,i am1 my dear boys1 as ever1 ,your affectionate1 ,,uncle ,,hal4 ,,letter ,x4 ,,habit4 ,,my ,,dear ,,friends3 ,if you wish to have power to say1 in the words of the imperial slave of the beautiful ,egyptian1 ,let me1 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 ,with those hands that grasp'd the heaviest club1 ,subdue my worthiest self1 you must not wholly overlook the importance of ,habit1 while establishing your system of life4 ,always indicative of character1 habit may yet1 to a certain extent1 do us the greatest injustice1 through mere inadvertency4 ,indeed1 few young persons attach much importance to such matters1 until compelled by necessity to unlearn1 with a painful effort1 what has been insensibly acquired4 ,permit me1 then1 a few random suggestions1 intended rather to awaken your attention to this branch of a polite education1 than to furnish elaborate directions in relation to it4 ,judging from the prevalent tone of social intercourse among our countrymen1 both at home and abroad1 one might naturally make the inference1 that most of them regard ,rudeness and ,republicanism as synonymous terms4 ,depend upon it1 that as a people1 we are retrograding on this point4 ,our upper class--or what would fain be deemed such--in society1 may more successfully imitate the fashionable follies and conventional peculiarities of the ,old ,world1 than their predecessors upon the stage of action did2 but fashion is not good breeding1 any more than arrogant assumption1 or a defiant independence of the amenities of life1 is true manliness4 ,breaking away from the ceremonious old school of habit and manner1 we are rapidly running into the opposite extreme1 and the masses who1 with little time or inclination for personal reflection1 on such subjects1 naturally take their clue1 to some extent1 from the assumed exponents of the laws of the fickle goddess1 exaggerating the value of the defective models they seek to imitate1 into the grossest caricature of the whole1 and1 mistaking rudeness for ease1 and impudence for independence1 so defy all abstract propriety1 as1 if not to make the angels weep1 at least to mortify and disgust all observant1 thinking men1 whose love and pride of country sees in trifles even1 indications more or less auspicious to national advancement4 ,all this defiance of social restraint1 this professed contempt for the suavities and graces that should redeem existence from the complete engrossment of actualities1 is bad enough at home2 but its exhibition abroad is doubly humiliating to our national dignity4 ,every ,american who visits foreign countries1 whether as the accredited official representative of his government1 or simply in the character of a private citizen1 owes a duty to his native land1 as one of those by the observance of whom strangers are forming an estimate of the social and political advancement of the people who are making the great experiment of the world1 and upon whom the eyes of all are fixed with a peculiar and scrutinizing interest4 ,it has been well said of us1 in this regard1 that our worst slavery is the slavery to ourselves4 ,trammelled by the narrowest social prejudices at home1 ,americans1 breaking loose from these restraints abroad1 run riot1 like ill-mannered school-boys1 suddenly released from the discipline which1 from its very severity1 prompts them to indulge in the extreme of license4 ,thus1 we lately had accounts of the humiliating conduct of some ,americans1 who1 being guests one night at the ,tuileries1 actually so far forgot all decency as to intrude their drunken impertinence upon the personal observation of the ,emperor6 ,and1 when informed1 the next morning1 that1 at the instance of their insulted host1 the police had followed them1 when they left the palace1 to ascertain whether they were not suspicious characters who had surreptitiously obtained admittance to the imperial fete1 they are reported to have pronounced the intelligence rich6 ,shame on such exhibitions6--they disgrace us nationally4 ,if our countrymen would be content to learn from older peoples on these points1 it would be well4 ,in the ,elegant and ,ideal ,arts1 in ,literature1 in general ,science1 the superiority of our predecessors in the history of ,progress1 is cheerfully admitted4 ,can we1 then1 learn nothing from the matured civilization of the ,old ,world in regard to the ,art of ,living8 ,shall we defy the race to which we belong1 on this point alone8 ,this secret is possessed in greatest perfection by those who have longest studied its details1 and some long existent nations who display little practical wisdom in matters of political science1 are greybeard sages here4 ,so then1 let us learn from them what they can easily save us the trouble of acquiring by difficult experiments for ourselves1 and1 concentrating our energies upon higher objects1 give them back a full equivalent for their knowledge of the best mode of serving the ,lares1 the ,muses1 and the ,graces1 by a successful illustration of the truth1 that as a people we are capable of self-government6 ,we shall1 then1 no longer have the wife of an ,american minister ignorantly invading the ,court ,rules at ,madrid1 by sporting the colors sacred to royal attire there1 and so giving occasion for national offense1 as well as individual conflict1 nor furnish ,punch with material for the admonitory reflection that the bond of family union between ,john ,bull and his cousin ,jonathan must be somewhat uncertain when so small a matter as the tie of a cravat can materially affect the price of stocks6 ,and1 when vulgar bluster and braggadocio are no longer mistaken for the proper assertion of national and individual independence1 we shall not have an ,american gentleman who1 like our justly-distinguished countryman1 ,george ,peabody1 constantly exhibits the most urbane courtesy1 alike towards foreigners and towards the citizens of the native country to which his life has been one prolonged paean1 accused of toadying1 because he quietly conforms to the social usages of the people among whom he lives6 ,but pardon me these generalities4 ,i have been unintentionally led into them1 ,i believe1 by my keen sense of mortification at some of the incidents to which ,i have alluded4 ,coming then to details1 let us1 primarily1 resolve to be slaves to nothing and to no one--neither to others nor to ourselves2 and to endeavor to establish such habits as shall entitle each of us1 in the estimation of discriminating observers1 to the distinctive name of gentleman4 ,constant association with well-bred and well-educated society1 cannot be too highly estimated as an assistant in the acquisition of the attributes of which we propose to speak4 ,a taste for such companionship may be so strengthened by habit as to form a strong barrier to the desired indulgence of grosser inclinations4 ,show me your friends1 and ,i'll tell you what you are1 is a pithy ,spanish proverb4 ,choose yours1 ,i earnestly entreat1 in early life1 with a view to self-improvement and self-respect4 ,and1 while on this point1 permit me to warn you against mistaking pretension1 wealth1 or position1 for intrinsic merit2 or the advantages of equality in elevated social rank1 for an equivalent to mental cultivation1 or moral dignity4 ,one of the collateral benefits resulting from proper social associations1 will be an escape from eccentricities of manner1 dress1 language1 etc42 erroneous habits in relation to which1 when once established1 often cling to a man through all the changes of time and circumstance4 ,but1 as observation proves that this1 though a safeguard1 is by no means always a sufficient defense1 it is well to resort to various precautions1 additionally--as a prudent general not only carefully inspects the ramparts that guard his fortress1 but stations sentinels1 who shall be on the look-out for approaching foes4 ,so then1 my dear boys1 do not regard me as descending to puerilities unworthy of myself and you1 when ,i call your attention to such matters as your attitude in standing and sitting1 or any other little individualizing peculiarities4 ,some men fall into a habit of walking and standing with their heads run out before them1 as if doubtful of their right to keep themselves on a line with their fellow-creatures4 ,others1 again1 either elevate the shoulders unnaturally1 or draw them forward so as to impede the full1 healthful play of the lungs4 ,this last is too much the peculiar habit of students1 and contracted by stooping over their books1 undoubtedly4 ,then again1 you see persons swinging their arms1 and see-sawing their bodies from side to side1 so as to monopolize a good deal more than their rightful share of a crowded thoroughfare1 steamer cabin1 or drawing-room floor4 ,nothing is more uncomfortable than walking arm in arm with such a man4 ,he pokes his elbows into your ribs1 pushes you against passers-by1 shakes you like a reed in the wind1 and1 perhaps1 knocks your hat into the gutter with his umbrella--and all with the most good-humored unconsciousness of his annoying peculiarity4 ,if you are so unfortunate as to be shut up in a carriage with him1 his restless propensity relieves itself to the great disturbance of the reserved rights of ladies1 and the frequent impalement upon his protruding elbows of fragments of fringe1 lace1 and small children6 ,at table1 if it be possible1 his neighbors gently and gradually withdraw from his immediate vicinity1 leaving a clearing to his undisputed possession4 ,he usually may be observed to stoop forward1 while eating1 with his plate a good foot from the customary locality of that convenience1 pushed before him towards the middle of the table1 and his arms so adjusted that his elbows play out and in1 like the sweep of a pair of oars4 ,a little seasonable attention to these things will effectually prevent a man of sense from falling into such peculiarities4 ,early acquire the habit of standing and walking with your chest thrown out--your head erect--your abdomen receding rather than protruding--not leaning back any more than forward--with your arms scientifically adjusted--your hat on the top 7not on the back1 or on one side7 of your head--with a self-poised and firm1 but elastic tread2 not a tramp1 like a war-horse2 not a stride1 like a fugitive bandit2 not a mincing step1 like a conjurer treading on eggs2 but1 with a compact1 manly1 homogeneous sort of bearing and movement4 ,where there has been any discipline at least1 if not always1 inklings of character may be drawn from these tokens in the outer man4 ,for instance--the light1 quick1 cat-like step of ,aaron ,burr1 was as much a part of the man as the ,pandemonium gleam that lurked in the depths of his dark1 shadowed eyes4 ,i remember the one characteristic as distinctly as the other1 when ,i recall his small person and peculiar face4 ,so with the free1 firm pace by which the noble port of ,de ,witt ,clinton was accompanied--one recognized1 at a glance1 the high intellect1 the lofty manhood1 embodied there4 ,crossing the legs1 elevating the feet1 lounging on one side1 lolling back1 etc41 though quite excusable in the abandon of bachelor seclusion1 should never be indulged in where ceremony is properly required4 ,in the company of ladies1 particularly1 too much care cannot be exhibited in one's attitudes4 ,it is then suitable to sit upright1 with the feet on the floor1 and the hands quietly adjusted before one1 either holding the hat and stick 7as when paying a morning visit71 or the dress-hat carried in the evening1 or1 to give ease1 on occasion1 a book1 roll of paper1 or the like4 ,habits of refinement once established1 a man feels at ease--he can trust himself1 without watching1 to be natural--and nothing conduces more to grace and elegance than this quiet consciousness4 ,let me add1 that true comfort1 real enjoyment are no better secured under any circumstances1 by indulging in anything that is intrinsically unrefined1 and that a certain habitual self-restraint is the best guarantee of ease1 propriety and elegance1 when a man would fain do entire justice to himself4 ,habits connected with matters of the table1 as indeed with all sensuous enjoyments1 should always be such as not to suggest to others ideas of merely selfish animal gratification4 ,among minor characteristics1 few are so indicative of genuine good-breeding as a man's mode of eating4 ,upon ,poor ,richard's principle1 that nothing is worth doing at all that is not worth doing well1 one may very properly attach some consequence to the formation of correct habits in relation to occasions of such very frequent recurrence4 ,it is well1 therefore1 to learn to sit uprightly at table1 to keep one's individual aids and appliances compactly arranged2 to avoid all noise and hurry in the use of these conveniences2 neither to mince1 nor fuss with one's food2 nor yet to swallow it as a boa-constrictor does his1--rolled over in the mouth and bolted whole2 or worse still1 to open the mouth1 to such an extent as to remind observers that alligators are half mouth4 ,eating with a knife1 or with the fingers2 soiling the lips2 using the fork or the fingers as a tooth-pick2 making audible the process of mastication1 or of drinking2 taking soup from the point of a spoon2 lolling forward upon the table1 or with the elbows upon the table2 soiling the cloth with what should be kept upon the plate2 putting one's private utensils into dishes of which others partake2 in short1 everything that is odd1 or coarse1 should nowhere be indulged in4 ,cut your meat1 or whatever requires the use of the knife1 and1 leaving that dangerous instrument conveniently on one side of your plate1 eat with your fork1 using a bit of bread to aid1 when necessary1 in taking up your food neatly4 ,when partaking of anything too nearly approaching a liquid to be eaten with a fork1 as stewed tomato1 or cranberry1 sop it with small pieces of bread2--a spoon is not used while eating meats and their accompaniments4 ,never take up large bones in the fingers1 nor bite ,indian corn from a mammoth ear4 7,in the latter case1 a long cob running out of a man's mouth on either side1 is suggestive of the mode in which the snouts of dressed swine are adorned for market67 ,if you prefer not to cut the grain from the ear1 break it into small pieces and cut the rows lengthwise1 before commencing to eat this vegetable4 ,when you wish to send your plate for anything1 retain your knife and fork1 and either keep them together in your hand1 or rest them upon your bread1 so as not to soil the cloth4 ,should you have occasion for a tooth-pick1 hold your napkin1 or your hand1 before your mouth while applying it1 and on no account resort to the perceptible assistance of the tongue in freeing the mouth or teeth from food4 ,have sufficient self-control1 when so unfortunate as to be disgusted with anything in your food1 to refrain from every outward manifestation of annoyance1 and if possible1 to conceal from others all participation in your discovery4 ,accustom yourself to addressing servants while at table1 in a low1 but intelligible tone1 and to a good-natured endurance of their blunders4 ,avoid the appearance of self-engrossment1 or of abstraction while eating1 and1 for the sake of health of mind and body1 acquire the practice of a cheerful interchange of both civilities and ideas with those who may be1 even temporarily1 your associates4 ,it is now becoming usual among fashionable people in this country to adopt the ,french mode of conducting ceremonious dinners1 that of placing such portions of the dessert as will admit of it1 upon the table1 together with plateaux of flowers1 and other ornaments1 and having the previous courses served and carved upon side-tables1 and offered to each guest by the attendants4 ,but it will be long before this custom obtains generally1 as a daily usage1 even among the wealthier classes4 ,it will1 so far continue rather an exception than a rule1 that the art of carving should be regarded as well worth acquiring1 both as a matter of personal convenience1 and as affording the means of obliging others4 ,like every other habit connected with matters of the table1 exquisite neatness and discrimination should characterize the display of this gentlemanly accomplishment4 ,aim at dexterous and rapid manipulation1 and shun the semblance of hurry1 labor1 or fatigue4 ,familiarity with the anatomy of poultry and game1 will greatly facilitate ease and grace in carving4 ,always help ladies with a remembrance of the moderation and fastidiousness of their appetites4 ,if possible1 give them the choice of selection in the cuts of meats1 especially of birds and poultry4 ,never pour gravy upon a plate1 without permission4 ,a little of the filling of fowls may be put with portions of them1 because that is easily laid aside1 without spoiling the meat1 as gravy does1 for many persons4 ,all meats served in mass1 should be carved in thin slices1 and each laid upon one side of the plate1 carefully avoiding soiling the edge1 or offending the delicacy of ladies1 in particular1 by too-ensanguined juices4 ,different kinds of food should never be mixed on the plate4 ,keep each portion of the accompaniments of your meats neatly separated1 and1 where you pay for decency and comfort1 take it as a matter of course that your plate1 knife1 and fork are to be changed as often as you partake of a different dish of meat4 ,fish is eaten with bread and condiments only2 and the various kinds of meat with vegetables appropriate to each4 ,game1 when properly cooked and served1 requires only a bit of bread with it4 ,by those who best understand the art of eating1 butter is never taken with meats or vegetables4 ,the latter1 in their simple state1 as potatoes1 should be eaten with salt2 most of them need no condiment1 in addition to those with which they are dressed before coming to table4 ,salads1 of course1 are prepared according to individual taste2 but the well-instructed take butter at dinner only after1 or as a substitute for1 the course of pastry1 etc4 with bread1 if at all4 ,the ,english make a regular course of bread1 cheese1 and butter1 preceding the dessert proper--nuts1 fruit1 etc42 but they never eat both butter and cheese at the same time4 ,skins of baked potatoes1 rinds of fruit1 etc41 etc41 should never be put upon the cloth2 but bread1 both at dinner and breakfast1 is placed on the table1 at the left side of the plate1 except it be the small bit used to facilitate the use of the fork4 ,never drum upon the table between the courses1 fidget in your chair1 or with your dress1 or in any manner indicate impatience of due order and deliberation1 or indifference to the conversation of those about you4 ,a gentleman will take time to dine decorously and comfortably4 ,those whose subserviency to anything1 or any one1 prevents this1 are not freemen6 ,holding1 as ,i do1 that ,to enjoy is to obey1 let me call your attention1 in this connection1 to the truth that the pleasures of the table consist not so much in the quantity eaten as in the mode of eating4 ,a moderate amount of simple food1 thoroughly and deliberately masticated1 and partaken of with the agreeable accessories of quiet1 neatness and social communion1 will not only be more beneficial to the physical man1 but afford more positive enjoyment1 than a larger number of dishes1 when hurriedly eaten in greater quantities4 ,i have frequently remarked among our young countrymen a peculiarity which a moment's reflection will convince you is exceedingly injurious to health--that of swallowing an enormous amount of fluid at every meal4 ,reflect that the human stomach is scarcely so large as one of the goblets which is repeatedly emptied at dinner1 by most men1 and that all liquids taken into that much-abused organ1 must be absorbed before the assimilation of solid food commences1 and you will see1 at once1 what a violation of the natural laws this practice involves4 ,here1 again1 is one of the evil effects of the fast-eating of fast ,americans4 ,hurrying almost to feverishness1 at table1 and only half masticating their food1 the assistance of ice-water is invoked to facilitate the process of swallowing1 and to allay the more distressing symptoms produced by haste and fatigue6 ,before we leave these little matters1 let us return for an instant1 to that of the position assumed while sitting4 ,the ,yankee peculiarity1 so often ridiculed by foreigners1 of tipping the chair back upon the two hind feet1 is not yet obsolete1 even in our best society4 ,occasionally some uninstructed rustic finds his way into a fashionable drawing-room1 where modern antique furniture1 as the manufacturers call it in their advertisements1 elicits all the proverbial ingenuity of his native land1 to enable him to indulge in his favorite attitude4 ,i thought ,i saw the ghost of my chair6 said a fair friend to me1 as soon as a visitor had left us together1 one morning1 not long since4 ,i was really distressed by his efforts to tilt it back--these fashionable chairs are so frail1 and he would have been intensely mortified had he broken it6 ,have you seen the last ',harper1' ,colonel8 ,do not permit yourself1 through an indifference to trifles1 to fall into any unrefined habits in the use of the handkerchief1 etc41 etc4 ,boring the ears with the fingers1 chafing the limbs1 sneezing with unnecessary sonorousness1 and even a too fond and ceaseless caressing of the moustache1 are in bad taste4 ,everything connected with personal discomfort1 with the mere physique1 should be as unobtrusively attended to as possible4 ,when associated with women of cultivation and refinement--and you should addict yourself to no other female society--you cannot attend too carefully to the niceties of personal habit4 ,sensitive1 fastidious1 and very observant of minutiae--indeed often judging of character by details--you will inevitably lose ground with these discriminating observers1 if neglectful of the trifles that go far towards constituting the amenities of social life4 ,an elegant modern writer is authority for the fact that the ,gauls attributed to woman1 an additional sense--the divine sense4 ,perhaps the ,creator may have bestowed this gift upon the defenseless sex1 as a counterpoise to the superior strength and power of man1 even as he has given to the more helpless of the lower creatures swiftness of motion1 instead of capacity for resistance4 ,but be that as it may1 no man should permit himself any habit that will not bear the scrutiny of this divine sense--much less1 one that will outrage all its fine perceptions4 ,apropos of details--,i will take leave to warn you against the swaggering manner that some young men1 whose bearing is otherwise unexceptionable1 fall into among strangers1 apparently with the mistaken idea that they will thus best sustain their claims to an unequivocal position in society4 ,so in the sitting-rooms at hotels1 in the pump-rooms at watering-places1 on the decks of steamers1 etc41 persons whose juvenility entitles them to be classed with those who have nursery authority for being seen and not heard1 are frequently the most conspicuous and noisy4 ,shallow1 indeed1 must be the discernment of observers who conceive a favorable impression of a young man from such an exhibition6 ,in company1 do not stand1 or walk about while others sit1 nor sit while others stand--especially ladies4 ,acquire a light step1 particularly for in-door use1 and a quiet mode of conducting yourself1 generally4 ,ladies and invalids will not then dread your presence as dangerous--like that of a rampant war-horse1 ill-taught to ,caper nimbly in a lady's chamber6 ,if you are fond of playing at chess and other games1 it will be worth your while to observe yourself until you have fixed habits of entire politeness1 under such circumstances4 ,all unnecessary movements1 every manifestation of impatience or petulance1 and all exultation when successful1 should be repressed4 ,thus1 while seeking amusement1 you may acquire self-control4 ,begin early to remember that health and good spirits are easily impaired1 and that habit will materially assist us in the patient endurance of suffering we should manifest for the sake of those about us--attendants1 friends1 the bosom-friend dearer than all1 whom no philosophy can teach insensibility to the semblance of unkindness from one enthroned in her affections4 ,don't fall into the habit1 because you are a branch of the ,lunettes family1 of using glasses prematurely4 ,students are much in error here4 ,every young divinity-student1 especially1 seems emulous of this troublesome appendage4 ,depend on it1 this is all wrong1 either absurd affectation1 or ignorance equally unfortunate4 ,ladies1 it is said1 are the readers of ,america1 but who ever sees the dear creatures donning spectacles in youth8 ,enter a female college and look for the glasses that1 were the youthful devotees of learning there assembled of the other sex1 would deform half the faces you observe4 ,much better were it to inform yourselves of the laws of optics1 and use the organs now so generally abused by the young1 judiciously1 resting them1 when giving indications of being overtaxed1 rather than endeavoring to supply artificial aid to their natural strength4 ,students1 especially1 should always read and write with the back to the light1 so seated that the light falls not upon the eyes1 but upon the book or paper before them4 ,that reminds me1 too1 how important it is that one should not stoop forward more constantly than is necessary1 while engaged in sedentary pursuits1 but lean back rather than forward1 as much as possible1 throwing out the chest at the same time4 ,many books admit of being raised in the hand1 in aid of this practice1 and the habit of rising occasionally1 and expanding the chest1 and straightening the limbs will be found to relieve the weariness of the sedentary4 ,but nothing so effectually prevents injury to health1 from studious habits1 as early rising4 ,this gives time for the out-door exercise that is so requisite as well as for the use of the eyes by daylight4 ,there is a great deal of nonsense mixed up with our literature1 which seizes the fancy of the young1 because embodied in poetry1 or clothed with the charm of fiction4 ,of this nature is what we read about1 trimming the midnight lamp1 to search for the ,pierean spring4 ,obey the ,breezy call of incense-breathing morn1 and she will environ you with a joyous band of blooming ,hours1 and guide you gaily and lightly towards sparkling waters1 whose properties are ,knowledge and ,health6 ,but if you would habitually rise early1 you must not permit every trivial temptation to prevent your also retiring early4 ,the laws of fashionable life are sorely at variance with those of ,health1 on this point1 as well as upon many others2 but1 happily1 they are not absolute1 and those who have useful purposes to accomplish each day1 must withstand the tyranny of this arbitrary despot4 ,time for the toilet1 for exercise1 for intellectual culture and mental relaxation1 is thus best secured4 ,by using the earlier hours of each day for our most imperative occupations1 we are far less at the mercy of contingent circumstances than we can become by any other system of life4 ,solitude1 says ,gibbon1 is the school of ,genius1 and the advantages of this tuition are most certainly secured before the idlers of existence are abroad6 ,avoid the habit of regarding yourself as an invalid1 and of taking nostrums4 ,a knowledge and observance of the rules of ,dietetics are often better than the concentered wisdom of a ,dispensary1 abstinence more effective than medical applications1 and the recuperative power of ,nature1 when left to work out her own restoration1 frequently superior to the most skillful aid of learned research4 ,but when compelled to avail yourself of medical assistance1 seek that which science and integrity render safest4 ,no sensible man1 one would think1 will intrust the best boon of earth to the merciless experiments of unprincipled and ignorant charlatans1 or credulously swallow quack medicines recommended by old women3 and yet1 while people employ the most accomplished hatter1 tailor1 and boot-maker1 whose services they can secure1 they will give up the inner man to the influence of such impositions upon the credulity of humanity6 ,assuming1 as an accepted truth1 that it is your purpose1 through life1 to admit the rights of our fair tyrants ,in court or cottage1 wheresoe'er their home1 ,i will commend to you the early acquisition of habits appropriate to our relations to women as their protectors4 ,in dancing1 riding1 driving1 walking1 boating1 travelling1 etc41 etc41--wherever the sexes are brought together in this regard 7and where are they not1 indeed1 when commingled at all87--observe the gentle courtesies1 exhibit the watchful care1 that go far towards constituting the settled charms of such intercourse4 ,it is not to be forgotten1 as ,i think ,i have before remarked1 that women judge of character1 often1 from trifling details2 thus1 any well-bred woman will be able to tell you which of her acquaintances habitually removes his hat1 or throws aside his cigar1 when addressing her1 and who1 of all others1 is most watchful for her comfort1 when she is abroad under his escort4 ,be sure1 too1 that this same fair one could confess1 if she would make a revelation on the subject1 exactly what men she shuns because they break her fans1 disarrange her bouquets1 tear her flounces1 touch her paintings and prints with moist fingers 7instead of merely pointing to some part7 handle delicate bijouterie with dark gloves1 dance with uncovered hands1 etc41 etc4 ,but even if you are her confidant1 she will not tell you how often her quick sensibility is wounded by fancying herself the subject of the smirks1 whispers1 and knowing glances in which some men indulge when grouped with their kindred bipeds1 in society6 ,at the risk of subjecting myself to the charge of repetition1 ,i will endeavor1 before concluding this letter1 to enumerate such ,habits as1 in addition to those of which ,i have already spoken1 ,i deem most entitled to the attention of those who are establishing a system of life4 ,habits of reading and studying once thoroughly formed1 are invaluable1 not only as affording a ready resource against ennui1 or idleness1 everywhere and under all circumstances1 but as necessarily involving the acquisition of knowledge1 even when of the most desultory character4 ,it is wonderful how much general information may be gleaned by this practice of reading something whenever one has a few spare grains of the gold-dust of ,time1--minutes4 ,i once found a remarkably well-informed woman of my acquaintance waiting to make breakfast for her husband and me1 with a little old dictionary open in her hand4 ,for what word are you looking1 so early8 ,i inquired1 as ,i discovered the character of the volume she held4 ,for no one in particular1 returned she1 but one can always add to one's stores from any book1 were it only in the matter of spelling4 ,but the true way1 of course1 to derive most advantage from this enjoyment is to systematize in relation to it1 reading well-selected books with care and attention sufficient to enable us permanently to add the information they contain to our previous mental possessions4 ,you will only need to be reminded how much ease and elegance in ,reading aloud depend upon habit4 ,without the ,habit of ,industry1 good resolutions1 the most sincere desire for self-improvement1 and the most desirable natural gifts1 will be of comparatively little avail for the practical purposes of existence4 ,this unpretending attribute1 together with ,system and ,regularity1 has achieved more for the good of the race1 than all the erratic efforts of genius combinedly4 ,don't run about1 says a sensible writer1 and tell your acquaintances you have been unfortunate2 people do not like to have unfortunate men for acquaintances4 ,add to a vigorous determination1 a cheerful spirit2 if reverses come1 bear them like a philosopher1 and get rid of them as soon as you can4 ,cheerfulness and ,contentment1 like every other mental quality1 may be cultivated until they materially assist us in enduring ,the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune1 and early attention to the attainment of these mental habits is a matter of both personal and relative duty4 ,cherish self-respect as1 next to a firm religious faith1 the best safeguard to respectability and peace of mind4 ,entirely consistent with--indeed1 in a degree1 productive of the most careful consideration of the rights of others1 the legitimate development of this quality will tend to preserve you from unwise confidences1 from injudicious intimacies1 and from gross indulgences and unworthy pursuits4 ,this will sustain you in the manly acknowledgment of poverty1 if that shall chance to be your lot1 when pride and principle contend for the mastery in practical matters1 and enable you to realize fully1 that ,to bear1 is to conquer our fate6 ,this will strengthen you to the endurance of that which nothing but absolute insignificance can escape--calumny4 ,it will preserve you alike from an undue eagerness in defending yourself from unjust aspersion1 and from a servile fear of the world's dread laugh1 from meriting and from resenting scandal1 and convince you that its most effectual contradiction consists in a virtuous life4 ,by listening to the dictates of this powerful coadjutor of conscience1 you will believe with the poet1 that ,honor and ,fame from no condition rise1 and thus1 with straightforward and unvarying purpose1 illustrate your adoption of the motto1 ,act well your part1 there all the honor lies6 ,while ,i would earnestly counsel you to avoid that constant self-consciousness which is nearly allied to vanity and egotism1 if not identical with them1 you will find the habitual practice of self-examination greatly conducive to improvement4 ,a calm1 impartial analysis of words and actions1 tracing each to their several motives1 must tend to assist us to know ourselves1 which an ancient philosopher1 you may remember1 pronounced the highest human attainment4 ,arraign yourself1 without the advantage of special pleading1 to borrow a legal phrase1 at the bar of conscience1 regarding this arbiter as the voice of ,divinity enshrined within us1 whenever assailed by doubts respecting any course of conduct you have adopted1 or propose to adopt1 and where you are thus taught to draw the line of demarcation between right and wrong1 ,let that aye be your border4 ,in this connection permit me to recommend the regular study of the ,bible1 and a systematic attendance upon public worship on the ,sabbath4 ,do not read this most wonderful of books as a task1 nor yet permit the trammels of early associations1 hereditary prejudice1 or blind superstition1 to interfere with your search for the truths contained in its pages4 ,try to read the ,scriptures as you would any other book1 with the aid of such collateral information as you may be able to obtain respecting the origin of the several1 and wholly1 distinct productions of which it is composed1 the authors of each1 the purposes for which they were composed1 and1 in short1 possess yourself of every available means of giving reality1 simplicity1 and truthfulness to your investigations4 ,study the ,life of ,christ1 as written by the personal friends who were most constantly and intimately associated with him4 ,ponder upon his familiar sayings1 remembered1 and recorded in their simple memoranda1 by the unlettered men who most frequently listened to them1 compare the acts of ,christ with his doctrines as a teacher1 and judge for yourselves whether history1 ancient or modern1 has any parallel for the ,perfection of the ,model thus exhibited to the human race4 ,decide whether he was not the only earthly being who never did an injury1 never resented one done to him1 never uttered an untruth1 never practised a deception1 and never lost an opportunity of doing good4 ,having determined this point in your own minds1 adopt this glorious pattern for imitation1 and adhere to it1 until you find a truer and better model4 ,we have nothing to do in judging of this matter with the imperfect illustrations afforded by the lives of professed imitators of ,christ of the perfectibility to which his teachings tend4 ,why look to indifferent copies1 when the great original is ever before us6 ,why seek in the frailty and fallibility of human nature a justification of personal distrust and indifference8 ,no gentleman--to come to practicalities again--will indulge in ridiculing what intelligent1 enlightened persons receive as truth1 on any point1 much less upon this4 ,nor will a well-bred man permit himself the habit of being late at church--were it only that those who stand in a servile relation to others1 are often deprived of time for suitable preliminaries of the toilet1 etc41 he will carefully avoid this vulgarity4 ,the tendency to materialism1 so strongly characterizing the age in which we live1 produces1 among its pernicious collateral effects1 a disposition to reduce ,heaven's last1 best gift to man to the same practical standard by which we judge of all matters of the outer life1--of each other especially4 ,well might ,burke deplore the departure of the ,age of ,chivalry6 ,but not even the prophetic eye of genius could discern the degeneracy that was to increase so rapidly1 from the day in which he wrote1 to this4 ,as a mere matter of personal gratification1 ,i would cherish the inclination to idealize in regard to the fairer part of creation6 ,there is enough that is stern1 hard1 baldly utilitarian1 in life2 we have no need to rob this one fair spirit of every poetic attribute1 by system6 ,few habits have so much the effect to elevate us above the clods we tread ploddingly over in the dreary highway of mortal existence1 as that of investing woman with the purest1 highest attributes of our common nature1 and bearing ourselves towards her in accordance with these elevated sentiments4 ,and when compelled1 in individual instances1 to set aside these cherished impressions1 let nothing induce us to forget that passive1 silent forbearance is our only resource4 ,true manhood can never become the active antagonist of defencelessness4 ,i am almost ashamed to remind you of the gross impropriety of speaking loosely and loudly of ladies of your acquaintance in the hearing of strangers1 of desecrating their names by mouthing them in bar-rooms and similar public places1 scribbling them upon windows1 recording them1 without their permission1 in the registers kept at places visited from curiosity1 etc41 etc4 ,you have no moral right to take such liberties in this respect1 as you would not tolerate in the relation of brother1 son1 or husband4 ,think1 then1 and speak1 ever1 with due reverence of those guardian angels1 ,into whose hands from first to last1 ,this world with all its destinies1 ,devotedly by ,heaven seems cast6 ,if you determine to conform yourselves1 as far as in you lies1 to the model presented for your imitation by ,him who said--,be ye1 therefore1 perfect1 even as ,i am perfect1 you will not disregard the cultivation of a ready sympathy with the sufferings and trials of your fellow beings4 ,in place of adopting a system that will not only steel your heart1 but infuse into your whole nature distrust and suspicion1 you will1 like ,him who went about doing good1 quickly discern suffering1 in whatever form it presents itself1 and minister1 at least1 the balm of a kind word1 when naught else may be offered4 ,you will thus learn not only to pity the erring1 but1 perchance1 sometimes to ask yourselves in profound humility--who hath made me to differ8 ,young men sometimes fall into the impression that a mocking insensibility to human woe is manly--something grand and distinguished4 ,so they turn with lofty scorn from a starving child1 make the embarrassment and distress of a poor mother with a wailing infant the subject of audible mirth in a rail-car1 or stage-coach1 ridicule the peevishness of illness1 the tears of wounded sensibility1 or the confessions of the penitent6 ,now1 it seems to me1 that all this is super-human in its sublime elevation6 ,my small knowledge of the history of the greatly good1 affords no parallels for the adoption of such a creed4 ,i have read of a ,howard who terminated a life devoted to the benefit of his race1 in a noisome dungeon1 where he sought to minister to human suffering2 of a ,fenelon1 and a ,cheverus whose ,catholic spirit broke the thralling restrains of sectarianism1 in favor of general humanity2 of the graceful chivalry and large benevolence of ,sir ,walter ,raleigh and ,sir ,philip ,sidney2 of triumphant soldiers who bound up the wounds and preserved the lives of a fallen foe2 of a ,wilberforce1 a ,pease1 and a ,father ,mathew2 of ,leigh ,richmond1 ,reginald ,heber1 and ,robert ,hall2 of the parable of the good ,samaritan1 and of its ,divine ,author--and ,i believe the mass of mankind agree with me in1 at least1 an abstract admiration for the characters of each6 ,and though no great achievements in the cause of ,philanthropy may be in our power1 though no mighty deeds may embalm our memories amid the imperishable records of ,time1 let us not overlook those small acts of kindness1 those trifling proofs of sympathy1 which all have at command4 ,a look1 a word1 a smile--what talismanic power do even these sometimes possess6 ,remember1 then1 that1 ----,heaven decrees ,to all the gift of ministering to ease6 ,in close association with the wish to minister to the happiness of others1 as far as in us lies1 is that of avoiding every self-indulgence that may interfere with the comfort or the rights of others4 ,hence the cultivation of good-humor1 and of habits of neatness1 order1 and regularity4 ,prompted by this rule1 we will not smoke in the streets1 in rail-cars1 on the decks of steamers1 at the entrance of concert and lecture rooms1 or in parlors frequented by ladies4 ,we will not even forget that neglect of matters of the toilet1 in the nicest details1 may render us unpleasant companions for those accustomed to fastidiousness upon these points4 ,to the importance of well-regulated habits of ,exercise1 ,temperance1 and ,relaxation1 ,i have already called your attention in a previous ,letter4 ,nothing tends more effectually to the production of genuine independence1 than personal ,economy4 ,no habit will more fully enable you to be generous as well as just1 and to gratify your better impulses and more refined tastes1 than the exercise of this unostentatious art4 ,remember that meanness is not economy1 any more than it is integrity4 ,to be wisely economical requires the exercise of the reflective faculties united with practical experience1 self-denial1 and moral dignity4 ,rightly viewed1 there is nothing in it degrading to the noblest nature4 ,punctuality both in pleasure and in business engagements1 is alike due to others1 and essential to personal convenience4 ,you will1 perhaps1 have observed that this was one of the distinguishing traits of ,washington4 ,somebody says--,ceremony is the ,paradise of ,fools4 ,the same may be said with equal truth1 of system4 ,to be truly free1 one should not be the slave of any one rule1 nor of many combined4 ,system1 like other agencies1 if judiciously regulated1 materially aids the establishment of good habits generally1 and thus places us beyond the dominion of ,circumstance1 that unspiritual god4 ,sir ,joshua ,reynolds used to remark that ,nothing is denied to well-directed effort4 ,let ,perseverance then1 be united with ,excelsior in your practical creed4 ,i think ,i have made some allusion to the ,art of ,conversation4 ,let me make assurance doubly sure1 by the emphatic recommendation of practice in this elegant accomplishment4 ,all mental acquisitions are the better secured by the habit of putting ideas into words4 ,by this process1 thought becomes clearer1 more tangible1 so to speak1 and new ideas are actually engendered1 while we are giving expression to those previously in our possession4 ,in addition to the individual advantage accruing from this excellent mode of training yourselves for easy and effective extemporaneous public speaking1 it should not be overlooked1 as affording the means of conferring both pleasure and benefit upon others4 ,taciturnity and self-engrossment1 you may remark1 are not the prominent characteristics of the favorites of society4 ,nor does the practice of ready speaking necessarily interfere with habits of ,reflection and ,observation4 ,on the contrary1 the mental activity thus promoted1 naturally leads to the accumulation of intellectual material by every available means4 ,discrimination in judging of character1 and true knowledge of the world1 without which all abstract knowledge is comparatively of little avail1 can never be attained except through the persevering exercise of these powers4 ,shall ,i venture to remind you1 my dear young friends1 that the manifestation of respect for misfortune1 suffering1 and age1 may become one of your attributes by the force of habit strengthening good impulses4 ,will you think me deficient in utilitarianism if ,i recommend to you a cultivation of the power to discern the ,beautiful1 as a perpetual source of pure and exalted enjoyment8 ,hard1 grinding1 soul-trammelling1 is the dominion of real life2 will we be less worthy of our immortal destinies1 that we cherish an inner sense1 by which we readily perceive moral beauty1 shining as a ray from the very altar of ,divinity1 or the tokens of the presence of that ,divinity afforded by the wonders of the natural world8 ,let us not be mere beasts of burden1 so laden with the cares1 the anxieties1 or even the duties of life1 as to have no eye for the unobtrusive1 but often fragrant and lovely flowers1 that bloom along the most neglected of our daily paths4 ,speaking of the ,beautiful1 reminds me that ours is the only civilized land where the aesthetical perceptions of the people are not a sufficient safeguard to the preservation of ,works of ,art1 in their humblest as well as most magnificent exhibitions4 ,nothing short of the brutalizing influence of a ,reign of ,terror will tempt a ,parisian populace to the desecration of these expressions of refinement1 taste1 and beauty2 while among us1 not even an ornamental paling1 inclosing a private residence1 or the colonnade of a public edifice1 escapes staring tokens of the presence of this gothic barbarism in our midst4 ,you will scarcely need to be cautioned against confounding mere curiosity with a liberal and enlightened observation of life and manners4 ,all those indications of undue curiosity respecting the private affairs of others1 expressed by listening to conversation not intended for the general ear1 watching the asides of society1 glancing at letters addressed to another1 or asking direct questions of a personal nature1 are unmistakable proofs of ignorance of the rules of polished life1 though they are not as reprehensible as evil-speaking1 a love of scandal1 or the practice of violating either the confidence of friends or the sacredness of private conversation4 ,though a vast difference is created in this respect by difference of temperament1 yet no man can hope to acquire the degree of self-possession that shall fit him for a successful encounter with the ever-varying emergencies demanding its illustration1 without repeated and re-repeated struggles and discomfitures4 ,but so invaluable is the treasure1 so essential to the legitimate exercise of every faculty of our being1 that defeat should only render more indomitable the will to do1 the soul to dare1 in persevering endeavors to secure its permanent acquisition4 ,let me impress upon you the truth that self-possession is the legitimate result of a well-disciplined mind1 and that it is properly expressed by a quiet and modest bearing4 ,in conclusion1 let me earnestly and affectionately assure you that the formation of right habits1 though necessarily attended1 for a time1 by failures1 difficulties1 or discouragements1 will eventually prove its own all-sufficient reward4 ,habitude of thought1 language1 appointment1 and manner that shall entitle you to claim ,the good old name of ,gentleman1 once yours1 and you will be armed1 point of proof1 against the exacting capriciousness of fashion1 and forever exempted from the tortures often inflicted upon the sensitive1 by the insidious invasions of self-distrust6 99 99 99 99 99 ,strolling through the ,crystal ,palace at ,london1 soon after it was opened1 with a young fellow-countryman1 he suddenly broke out with--,will you just look at that fellow1 colonel8 ,turning and following the direction indicated by his eye 7not his finger or walking-stick1 he was too well-bred to point67 ,i discerned1 in a different part of the building1 ,queen ,victoria1 accompanied by ,prince ,albert and two of the royal children1 examining some articles in the ,american ,department4 ,very near the stopping-place of this distinguished party1 a representative of the universal ,yankee nation1 had stationed himself--perhaps in a semi-official capacity--upon the apex of some elevation1 with his hat on1 and his long legs dangling down in front1 nearly on a level with the heads of passers-by4 ,we could not hear the words of her ,majesty1 but it was apparent that she addressed some inquiry to him of the legs4 ,first ejecting a torrent of tobacco-juice from his mouth1 and rolling away the huge quid that obstructed his utterance1 he deliberately proceeded to give the explanation desired1 retaining not only his position1 but his hat1 the while6 ,meantime1 as soon as the ,queen commenced addressing this person1 her ,royal ,consort removed his hat1 and remained uncovered until she again moved on4 ,i shall not soon forget the face of my companion4 ,shame and indignation contended for the mastery on his burning cheek6 ,good ,g----1 ,colonel6 he exclaimed1 to think of such a mere brute as that being regarded as a fair specimen of the advance of civilization among us6 ',tis enough to make a decent man disclaim his birthright here6 ,and yet1 ,i have little enough to boast of myself6 ,only think of my taking some ,english gentlemen who were in ,new-,york a month or two ago1 to see our parks 7heaven save the mark67 among other objects of interest in the city6 ,yesterday1 ,sir ,john ----1 who was one of the party1 drove about ,london with me1 and took me also to ,kensington ,garden1 ,st4 ,james' and ,regent's ,parks6 ,i don't know what would tempt me again to undergo the thing6 ,i rather think ,i am effectually cured1 henceforth and for ever1 of any inclination to boast of anything whatever1 personal or national6 99 99 99 99 99 ,as you are the only 'gentleman of elegant leisure' in the family1 at present1 ,harry1 suppose you take these girls to ,new ,york for a week or two4 ,for my part1 it's as much as ,i can do to provide money for the expedition1 said your uncle ,william to me1 one evening4 ,oh1 do1 dear uncle ,hal6 exclaimed ,ida1 with great vivacity1 sitting down on a low stool at my feet1 and clasping her hands upon my knee1 we always love dearly to go with you anywhere1 you are so good to us4 ,yes6 broke in ,william junior1 uncle ,harry spoils you so completely by indulgence that ,i can do nothing with you4 ,you're a most unruly set1 at home and abroad4 ,a sudden twitch at the end of his cravat effectually demolished the elegant tie upon which the young gentleman prides himself1 as little ,jule1 who was close beside him1 pretending to get her ,french lesson1 and had perpetrated the mischief1 cried out--,what's the reason1 then1 that you always take us all along1 when you go out in the woods1 and off to the shore--hey1 ,mr4 ,willie8 ,do be quiet1 children1 interrupted ,ida1 reprovingly2 now1 uncle dear1 won't you take us8 ,i want some new traps badly4 ,what kind of traps8--mouse traps8 ,man traps1 to be sure6 ,well1 that's honest1 at least1 ,puss4 ,my purposes are more murderous than ,ida's1 said ,cornelia1 laughing2 ,i want to buy a new mankiller1 as ,willie calls them4 ,it's too late in the season for mantillas1 remarked ,ida1 profoundly4 ,a fashionable cloak will serve ,cornelia's purpose equally well1 returned her father1 quietly4 ,and1 like the mantle of charity1 it will hide a multitude of sins1 chimed in her brother4 ,your running commentaries are highly edifying1 my dear nephew1 said ,i1 and at the same moment a large red rose hit him full on the nose4 ,it was soon arranged that your fair cousins should accompany me to the ,empire ,city in a few days1 and ,i1 accordingly1 sat down at once1 and wrote to the ,metropolitan for rooms4 ,what glorious times mother and ,i will have1 ,i overheard ,william exclaim4 ,i shall take ,jule under my especial protection1 and hear her ,french lessons regularly4 ,no you won't1 either1 returned that young lady1 with great spirit2 and ,i wish you'd stop tying my curls together1 and mind your own affairs4 ,no doubt you'll make noise enough to kill ma and me1 while ,corne and ,dade are gone1 drumming on the piano1 and spouting your ,latin speech before the drawing-room glass4 ,all ,i wish is1 that uncle ,hal wasn't going away--he never lets you torment me4 ,as we were entering the dining-room of our hotel1 on the day of our arrival1 our friend ,governor ,s---- joined us1 and1 after shaking hands1 in his usual cordial way1 with us all1 said1 as he courteously took ,cornelia's hand and folded it within his arm1 ,will you allow me to attend you1 ,miss ,lunettes8 ,colonel1 by your leave4 ,miss ,ida1 will you let a lonely old fellow join your party8 ,where do you sit1 ,colonel8 ,we have but just arrived1 ,i replied1 but our seats are1 of course1 reserved2 let me secure a seat for you with us1 if possible4 ,ida1 remain here a moment with ,cornelia and ,governor ,s----2 and presently1 finding the proper person1 the steward1 or whatever the man of dining-room affairs is called1 ,i arranged with him to seat us together1 without interfering with other parties4 ,while ,i was taking my soup1 ,i became suddenly conscious that something was annoying your cousin ,cornelia1 who sat between me and ,s----4 ,glancing at her face1 ,i saw there1 in addition to a heightened color1 an expression of mingled constraint and hauteur1 quite inconsistent with her usual graceful self-possession and animation4 ,making some general remark to her1 and showing no signs of curiosity1 ,i began quietly to cast about me for the cause of this unwonted disturbance4 ,turning my head towards ,ida1 ,i overheard her saying1 playfully1 though in an undertone1 to the senator1 with whom she was already embarked upon the tide of talk3 ,he reminds me of an exquisite couplet in an old valentine of mine3 ',are not my ears as long as other asses'1 pray8 ,don't ,i surpass all other asses at a bray8' ,i was not long in detecting the secret cause of ,cornelia's averted face and ,ida's sportive quotation4 ,see here1 ,john1 get me some col' slaw and unions1 will you--right off1 shouted a young man seated a little below us1 on the opposite side of the table4 ,i wish you could have seen the half-repressed wonder depicted in the countenance of the servant thus addressed1 as he glanced at the piece of ,mackerel a la maitre d',hotel1 as the bill of fare called the fish on his plate4 ,oh1 for a ,hogarth to do justice to the figure that had arrested my attention6 ,the face was not bad1 perhaps4 ,a merry1 dark eye1 lit up with the very spirit of mischief and impudence2 a tolerably high1 but narrow forehead2 thick1 wild-looking black hair1 parted on the top of the head1 and bushy whiskers--add large1 handsome teeth1 displayed by full1 red1 ever-laughing lips1 and you have the physiognomy4 ,but the dress6 ,ye powers of every name and grace1 aid my poor endeavors to describe his toilette6 ,a high shirt-collar1 flaring wide from the throat1 by the pugnacious manifestations of the sturdy whiskers aforesaid2 a flashy neckcloth1 tied in very broad bows1 and with the long ends laid off pretty well towards the tips of the shoulders2 a velvet waistcoat1 of large pattern and staring colors1 crossed by a heavy gold chain1 from which dangled a gold-mounted eye-glass1 broad ruffles to his shirt1 fastened with huge studs of three opposing1 but equally brilliant colors6 ,a shining ,holland-linen dust-coat completed this unique costume4 ,presently1 some one at a distance suddenly attracted the roving eyes of our hero1 and he began the most significant telegraphing with hands and head1 designed1 apparently1 to persuade the other to come and sit by him4 ,turning1 as if by accident1 ,i saw a young man1 near the entrance of the room1 shaking his head very positively in the negative4 ,but this was no quietus to our neighbor1 who half rose from his seat4 ,not room for the gentleman here1 sir1 said a major domo1 coming up4 ,yes there is1 too1 plenty of room6 ,if you would just move a leetle1 ma'am--so1 pushing at the chair of an elderly woman1 who seemed suddenly to grow more slender than ever1 and at the same time hitching his own nearer to that of the person next him on the other side1 that will do1 famously6 ,now1 waiter1 a plate6 ,i hope ,i don't crowd you1 sir to the gentleman next him1 we don't wear hoops you know6 can keep tight without them6 ,the last1 in a whisper1 like a boatswain's whistle upon which the respectable female1 who illustrated the mathematical definition of a point1 bridled and reddened with virtuous indignation4 ,luckily the table was not as closely filled as it often is1 and in much less time than it takes me to describe the scene1 the triumph of the youth was complete1 and a well-dressed1 gentlemanly-looking man came forward1 seemingly with considerable reluctance4 ,how are you1 ,fred1 how are you8 ,right glad to see you1 'pon my soul--sit down6 ,when'd you get in8 ,left all the folks well8 ,there was no avoiding hearing this tide of questions1 poured out in a loud1 hilarious tone1 that rose over the subdued murmur of ordinary conversation1 like the notes of a bugle1 sounding amid the twittering of the feathered tenants of a grove4 ,apparently quite unconscious that any one else in his vicinity possessed powers of hearing and seeing1 and wholly unobservant of the elevated eye-brows of some of his neighbors1 and the significant looks and ill-suppressed smiles of the servants1 the young man ran on with details of his own private affairs1 interrogations respecting those of his companion1 interspersed with loud and multiplied directions to the attendants4 ,from my soul ,i pitied his victim6 ,deeper and deeper grew the flush of shame and embarrassment in his handsome face1 more and more laconic and low-voiced his replies1 and more uneasy his restless movements and glances4 ,by and by two huge glasses of foaming strong-beer made their appearance4 ,beau ,brummel's celebrated saying--,a gentleman may port2 but he never malts1 crossed my mind4 ,with due deference to this high authority1 for my part1 ,i think a glass of ,london brown-stout1 or ,scotch ale1 a pleasant accompaniment to a bit of cold meat and bread1 when one is inclined to sup2 but taking beer at dinner is quite another affair4 ,well6 there was a little lull for a time1 only to be followed by a new sensation4 ,one of the quick1 galvanic movements of the nondescript overset a full bottle of wine1 just as it was placed between himself and his friend1 and he was in the act of saying1 ,if you don't drink beer1 ,fred1 take some--by thunder that's too bad6 ,the dark-colored liquor poured over the table-cloth1 and1 dividing into numerous little streamlets1 diverged in every direction from the parent source4 ,servants hurried forward with napkins to stay the progress of the flood1 the gentleman next our hero coolly dammed up the stream that most alarmingly threatened his safety1 with a piece of bread1 and the slender female1 whose slight pretentions to breadth had been so unceremoniously ignored1 fidgeted uneasily under the table1 as though apprehensive that the penetrating powers of the invading foe might be working in ambush1 to the detriment of her light-hued drapery4 ,but the face of the young stranger6 ,it was positively mottled6 ,his very forehead1 before smooth and fair1 suddenly suggested the idea that he was just recovering from the smallpox6 ,meantime1 our little party were quietly pursuing the even tenor of their respective dinners4 ,suddenly ,i missed ,s----4 ,what has become of the ,governor8 said ,i to ,cornelia1 in an under-tone4 ,a servant called him away1 returned she1 in the same unnoticeable manner4 ,the next moment ,i again remarked the same peculiar movement towards me and the same expression of countenance1 that had arrested my attention when we first sat down4 ,a woman's quick instinct never deceives her6 ,apparently unheeding1 ,i listened4 ,dev'lish handsome6 like her air6--wouldn't object to taking the seat myself1 by ,george6 caught my ear4 ,i think that young man understood the fixed look with which ,i regarded him for the space of about half a minute6 ,i was quite sure his companion did4 ,by this time1 the dessert was on the table4 ,where're you going1 ,fred8 you ain't done8 shouted the ,hoosier1 or whatever he was4 ,i have an engagement--,i'll see you again1 replied the gentleman thus addressed1 springing up1 and eluding the detaining grasp of his persecutor1 quickly made good his escape4 ,no sooner were we seated in one of the parlors1 than ,ida's pent-up merriment burst forth4 ,did you hear what that poor young man said1 when the other commenced reading the bill of fare1 uncle1 said she1 just before he darted out of the room8 ,what1 in particular1 do you refer to1 my dear8 ,i heard a great deal more than ,i wished4 ,o1 ,i mean when the speaking-trumpet1 as ,governor ,s---- called him1 shouted out--'fricandeau de veau6--,what's he1 ,fred8 ,do tell a fellow4' ,he was picking his teeth at the time1 with a large goose-quill1 with all the feathers on6 ,well1 what was the answer8 ,the poor martyr was1 by that time1 reduced to the calmness of despair1 replied your cousin1 laughing2 he answered1 with a meaning air1 ,i thought1 ',a calf's head6--one of the entrees6' ,corne1 ,i hope you did not lose the full effect of the great green and orange-colored peaches sprinkled over the vest of your admirer4 ,love at first sight1 my dear6 ,never saw a more unmistakable smitation6 ,what a triumph6 ,your first conquest since your arrival in ,new ,york1 ,i believe1 ,miss ,lunettes6 lisping affectedly1 and bowing with mock deference4 ,ida1 you'll be overheard6 ,i'm ashamed of you1 returned the stately ,cornelia1 with an air of offended propriety4 ,it will never do1 ,puss1 said ,i2 ,corne is right4 ,but1 ,corne1 what happened to the senator8 ,how courteous he is6 exclaimed the young lady1 with sudden enthusiasm4 ,a servant came and whispered to him--',miss ,lunettes1' said he1 turning to me1 'the only man in the world who could tempt me from your side--my best friend--asks for me on important business4 ,will you permit me to leave you1 after requesting the honor of attending you8' ,of course1 ,i assented4 ',make my apologies to ,miss ,ida and ,colonel ,lunettes1' said he1 as we shook hands1 ',i am very unfortunate4' ,how quietly he slipped away1 said ,ida2 ,i knew nothing of it1 until he was gone4 ,well-bred people are always quiet1 remarked the elder sister1 significantly4 ,oh1 dear me6 retorted ,ida1 coloring4 ,well1 it's too much to expect of any one1 not to laugh at such a nondescript specimen of humanity as that young man4 ,the next morning1 before ,i left my room1 a card was brought to me1 inscribed with the name of ,frederick ,h4 ,alloway1 and inclosed with the following note3 ,the son of one of ,colonel ,lunettes' old friends begs leave to claim the honor of his acquaintance1 and will do himself the pleasure to pay his respects1 at any hour1 this morning1 that will be most agreeable to ,colonel ,lunettes4 ,metropolitan ,hotel1 ,wednesday ,morn4 ,a half-revived remembrance of a face once familiar1 had haunted me at the dinner table the day before1 whenever ,i chanced to catch the eye of the victimized youth ,i have alluded to4 ,i was1 therefore1 not unprepared to find him identical with the author of this note4 ,a certain constraint was evinced by his manner1 when the first complimentary phrases were over4 ,at length his embarrassment found expression4 ,i am not sure1 ,colonel ,lunettes1 said he1 that ,i should have ventured to intrude upon you this morning--much as ,i desired to make the acquaintance of a gentlemen of whom ,i have so frequently heard my father speak--had ,i not wished to make an apology1 or at least an explanation---- ,he hesitated1 and the mottled color of the day before mantled over his ingenuous face4 ,i hastened to say something polite4 ,you are very good1 sir--really--scandalously as that young fellow behaved--he is not without redeeming qualities4 ,my acquaintance with him is slight1 and entirely accidental4 ,one of our successful ,western speculators1 and a very good-hearted fellow--but sadly in need of polish4 ,so ,i perceived1 returned ,i1 gravely1 nor is that all4 ,one can pardon ignorance much more readily than impudence4 ,very true1 sir4 ,i only hope that ,i was not so unfortunate as to incur your displeasure4 ,i--permit me to express the hope that the ladies of your party did not regard me as in the most remote way implicated in an intention to annoy them1 and his voice actually trembled with manly earnestness4 ,by no means1 my dear young friend2 by no means4 ,i assure you1 on the contrary1 that you had our sympathy in your distress--comic as it was4 ,the intense ludicrousness of the affair now seemed1 for the first time1 to take full possession of the perceptive faculties of my new acquaintance4 ,when our mutual merriment had in some degree subsided1 ,i invited him to dine with us1 unless he preferred to resume his seat of the day before4 ,heaven forbid6 exclaimed he1 with great vivacity2 ,i should have left this house to-day1 if that fellow had not--he is gone1 ,i am rejoiced to say4 ,it was arranged that the son of my old friend1 as he indeed was1 should meet me in the drawing-room a few moments before dinner1 and be presented to your cousins4 ,so we parted4 ,almost the first person ,i saw as ,i was entering the public drawing-room1 to join my nieces1 before dinner1 on that day1 was young ,alloway4 ,he was evidently awaiting me1 and1 upon my recognizing him by a bow1 at once advanced4 ,you are punctual1 ,i see1 ,mr4 ,alloway1 said ,i1 as we seated ourselves2 a very good trait1 in a young man6 ,i fear1 sir1 there is little merit in being punctual with such a reward in anticipation1 replied he1 laughing pleasantly1 and bowing to the ladies1 as he spoke4 ,our new acquaintance1 very properly1 offered his arm to the younger sister1 and ,i1 of course1 preceded them with the elder1 and though1 when we were seated together1 he was quite too well-bred to confine either his attentions or his conversation to ,ida1 ,i must say that ,i have not often seen two young people become more readily at ease in each other's society than my lively favorite1 and the son of my old friend4 ,they seemed to find each other out by intuition1 and talked together in the most animated manner permitted by their unvarying regard for decorum4 ,their nearest neighbors were not disturbed by their mirthfulness1 nor could persons seated opposite them hear their conversation1 and yet ,alloway was evidently fast being remunerated for the chagrin and embarrassment of his previous dinner4 ,uncle ,hal1 said ,cornelia1 leaning towards me1 as we sat together on a sofa1 after leaving the table1 glancing round to be sure that ,ida heard her1 don't you think ,minnesota gentlemen1 generally1 must be rather susceptible8 ,her sister1 turning ,the trembling lustre of her dewy eyes upon the quizzical speaker1 was interrupted in the spirited rejoinder she evidently meditated1 by the return of ,alloway1 who had been up to his room for a pencil-sketch of the ,falls of ,minnehaha 7between ,st4 ,paul's and the ,falls of ,st4 ,anthony1 you know7 which he told us he had made on the spot1 a few days before leaving his ,western home4 ,how beautiful it must be there6 exclaimed ,ida1 delightedly4 ,and you are taking this to your mother6 ,it reminds me of a ',panorama of the ,western ,wilds1' ,i think it was called1 to which papa took us in ,new ,york1 last spring4 ,i don't know when ,i saw anything so lovely6 ,i had no just conception before of the magnificence and variety of the scenery of the far-,west4 ,why1 my dear1 said ,i quietly1 just for my own amusement1 and to watch the effect upon all parties1 you seem so charmed with these sketches of the ,west1 that ,i think ,i must try and show you the originals by-and-by4 ,how would you like to go with me to look after my ,western investments next month8 ,just like uncle ,hal6 ,i hear more than one of you crying4 ,he always plays the mischief among the young folks6 ,so1 to punish your impertinence1 ,i shall say nothing in particular1 of the sudden light that shone in the fine eyes of our new friend1 nor of the enthusiasm with which ,ida clapped her hands and bravoed my proposition4 ,still more1 ,i am by no means sure that ,i shall feel justified in telling you what came of all this in the future4 ,after a while1 some other young men came to speak to the girls1 and ,alloway1 modestly withdrawing1 lingered near me1 as if wishing to address me4 ,a lady was saying something to me at the moment4 ,when she had finished speaking1 ,i turned to my young friend4 ,colonel ,lunettes1 said he1 in the most polite and respectful manner1 the ladies inform me that they are to go with you to see some pictures1 in the morning4 ,will you permit me to attend them8 ,receiving my assent1 he added1 ,my present mode of life affords few facilities for the inspection of works of ,art2 and ,i am so mere a tyro1 too1 that ,i shall be happy to have the benefit of your cultivated taste4 ,i dare say ,mr4 ,alloway could instruct us all1 interposed ,ida1 that is1 sister and me4 ,uncle ,lunettes has spent so many years abroad1 that he is1 of course1 quite au fait in all such things4 ,at what hour do you propose going1 ladies8 inquired ,alloway4 ,twelve o'clock was fixed upon4 ,i shall have great pleasure in again meeting you all at that time1 said ,alloway1 and1 as he shook hands with me1 he added1 with a significant smile1 ,i will endeavor to be quite punctual1 ,colonel6 ,who is that fine-looking young man1 ,colonel ,lunettes8 asked the lady with whom ,i had been conversing1 as ,i reseated myself at her side4 ,his manners are remarkably easy and graceful for so young a person4 ,what a contrast he is to young ,j----1 there1 who1 with all the advantages of education1 foreign travel1 and good society1 is1 and always will be1 a clown6 ,just look at him1 now1 talking to those girls6 ,sitting1 of course1 upon two legs of his chair1 and picking his teeth with a pen-knife6 ,what would be the consequence1 said ,i1 if he should lose his balance and fall backward1 with his mouth open in that way1 and his knife held by the tip end of the handle1 poised upon his teeth8 ,it looks really dangerous1 don't it1 commented the same slender female1 whose slight manifestations had interested me1 at dinner1 the day before--but ,i suppose he is so used to it that---- ,a sudden movement arrested further philosophical speculation1 on the part of this profound observer of life and manners1 and a young lady whose flounces had been sadly torn by the very chair upon the occupant of which she was commenting1 passed hurriedly out of the room1 with her disordered dress gathered up in both hands4 ,the next morning1 some time before the hour appointed for our visit to the ,dusseldorf ,gallery1 a servant brought me the following note3 ,mr4 ,alloway regrets extremely that an unexpected1 but imperative1 engagement1 deprives him of the anticipated pleasure of accompanying the ,misses and ,colonel ,lunettes this morning4 ,will ,colonel ,lunettes oblige ,mr4 ,alloway by making his compliments acceptable to the ,misses ,lunettes1 together with the most sincere expressions of his disappointment8 ,,metropolitan ,,hotel1 ,thursday ,morning4 ,i am so sorry6 exclaimed ,ida1 when informed of this4 ,uncle ,hal is always beau enough1 but the more the merrier1 you know1 dear uncle1 added she1 linking her arm in mine1 and looking artlessly up into my face4 ,you are quite right1 my dear1 said ,i4 ,i like your frankness1 and ,i am sorry to lose ,alloway myself4 ,as ,i was going out of the ,ladies' ,entrance with your cousins1 ,i perceived my young friend supporting the steps of a pale1 emaciated gentleman1 who coughed violently1 and walked with difficulty1 even from the carriage to the door1 though sustained on the other side also by an elderly lady4 ,i drew the girls aside1 that they might pass uninterruptedly4 ,i hope you are well this morning1 ladies1 said ,alloway1 raising his hat1 as he caught sight of us4 ,good morning1 ,colonel ,lunettes4 99 99 99 99 99 ,good morning1 again1 ladies6 said a cheerful1 but subdued voice behind us1 as the girls and ,i were seated together1 examining the merry ,wine-tasters of the ,gallery1 after having devoted some time to subjects of a more elevated moral tone4 ,we turned our heads simultaneously4 ,good morning1 sir1 said ,alloway1 for it was he2 with your leave1 ,i will join you now4 ,your cousins made room for him between them4 ,i am so happy not wholly to lose this1 said he1 bowing to each of the ladies4 ,i feared ,i could not meet you here even as early as this4 ,we would have waited for you1 interposed ,ida2 why didn't you tell us8 ,i did not think for a moment of taking such a liberty1 returned the young man4 ,it would1 perhaps1 have interfered with your other engagements4 ,indeed1 ,i scarcely hoped to find you here1 but could not deny myself the pleasure of coming in search of you4 ,which is your favorite picture here1 ,miss ,lunettes8 ,i heard ,alloway ask presently4 ,come and see1 returned she1 and1 rising1 she added1 come1 sister--uncle1 we will return1 do not disturb yourself4 ,loitering along toward them1 a while after1 ,i remarked1 as ,i approached1 the expressive faces of the group1 and their graceful attitudes1 as they discussed ,cornelia's favorite1 and reflected how much the poetry and beauty that environ youth1 when refined by nature and polished by education1 surpass the highest achievements of art4 ,what innocence in that face6 ,what dewy softness in the steadfast eyes6 exclaimed ,cornelia4 ,the very shoes have an appropriate expression6 dear little bird6 one can't help loving her1 and wanting to know all about her4 ,if she were not deaf and dumb1 said her cavalier1 ,i am sure she would rise and make a courtesy to such flattering admirers6 ,i am getting dreadfully jealous of her6 ,you needn't be1 as far as ,i am concerned1 retorted ,ida2 for my part1 ,i don't like that brown stuff dress6 ,she isn't fixed up a bit1 as children always are1 when they sit for their portraits4 ,and she tripped away to take another look at her especial admiration--the ,peasants ,returning from the ,harvest-field1 which is1 indeed1 a gem4 ,what does ,miss ,ida mean8 inquired ,alloway1 smilingly1 of her sister4 ,i am sure ,i don't know1 returned ,cornelia1 she is full of sentiment1 which she always endeavors to hide4 ,with your permission ,i will go and ask her1 said the admirer of the truant1 and bowing politely to us both1 he followed ,ida4 ,i will just add1 here1 that ,i learned afterwards1 accidentally1 and not even remotely through him1 that the persons with whom we met ,alloway that morning1 were the mother and brother of that scapegrace we first saw him with4 ,they had come to ,new ,york with the understanding that he would meet them there1 at an appointed time1 and assist in the care required by his dying relative2 but this promising youth had suddenly left the city1 without leaving any clue to his proceedings1 probably1 in pursuit of some pretty face1 which1 like ,cornelia's1 happened to attract his attention4 ,luckily1 the poor mother learned that ,alloway1 who was slightly known to her1 was in the city1 and appealed to him for assistance--with what success may be inferred from the little incident ,i have narrated4 99 99 99 99 99 ,it has always been a matter of marvel1 with the learned in such matters1 how ,sir ,walter ,scott accomplished such ,herculean literary labors in conjunction with the discharge of so many public and social duties4 ,as he himself used to say1 he long had a troop of dragoons galloping through his head1 to which1 as their commanding officer1 he devoted much attention2 he was sheriff of the county--7in the discharge of the duties of this office1 by the way1 he used to march through the streets of the shire-town1 during court term1 arrayed in a gown and bag wig1 at the head of his posse comitatus1 greatly to his own amusement and that of his friends7--and remarkable for the most urbane and diffusive hospitality4 ,after he ceased to be the ,great ,unknown1 or rather1 after he was identified with that celebrity1 ,abbotsford became the resort of innumerable visitors1 attracted thither by curiosity1 interest1 or friendship4 ,not only his beautiful residence1 but the numerous points of scenery and the superb ruins in the neighborhood of ,abbotsford1 which had been rendered classic by his magic pen1 were to be inspected by these guests1 and ,scott always seemed to have time for a gallop among the hills1 an excursion to ,dryburgh and ,melrose ,abbey1 a pilgrimage along the banks of the romantic river he has helped to immortalize1 or a lively chat with the ladies after dinner4 ,and he never had that air of pre-occupation that so often characterizes literary men1 in general society4 ,he took part in the most genial and hearty manner1 in the conversation of the moment1 bringing his full quota to the common stock of mirth1 anecdote and jest4 ,i can almost see him1 as ,i write1 sitting in the midst of a social circle1 in his drawing-room1 trotting the curly-pated little son of ,mrs4 ,hemans1 who was at ,abbotsford on a visit1 with her sister and this child1 upon his strong knee1 and singing1 ,charley my darling1 my darling1 ,charley my darling1 at intervals1 for the amusement of the little fellow4 ,i chanced1 too1 to accompany him1 when he attended the poetess to her post-chaise1 on the morning of her departure1 and had occasion to remark his courteous hospitality to the last4 ,there are some persons1 said he1 with his cordial smile1 as he offered his hand at parting1 whom one earnestly desires to meet again4 ,you1 madam1 are one of those4 ,but ,i am quite forgetting the object that induced my recurrence to these well-remembered scenes4 ,in answer to some leading remark of mine1 regarding the wonderful versatility of his father-in-law1 addressed to ,mr4 ,lockhart1 as we stood together contemplating the ivy-mantled walls of ,dryburgh1 he informed me of the secret of his extraordinary achievements with the pen3 ,when you meet him at breakfast1 said ,mr4 ,lockhart1 he has already1 as he expresses it1 'broken the neck of the day's work'--he writes in the morning4 ,eschewing the indulgences of late rising and slippered ease 7at the last he rails incontinently71 he is up with the lark--by half past four or five1 dresses as you see him at a later hour1 in out-door costume1 visits the stables1 and then sets himself resolutely to work4 ,by nine o'clock1 when he joins us1 he has accomplished the labors of a day1 almost4 ,his correspondence alone must occupy an immense deal of time1 said ,i4 ,and yet1 returned my companion1 ,sir ,walter makes it a rule to answer every letter on the day of its reception4 ,it must be an urgent cause that interferes with this habit4 ,and ,i am often astonished at the length and careful composition of his replies to the queries of literary correspondents1 as well as to his letters of friendship4 ,one would suppose his health must be impaired by such severe mental labor1 ,i answered4 ,his cheerful temper1 and his power to leave care behind him in his study1 are a great assistance to him1 replied ,mr4 ,lockhart1 moving towards our horses1 as he spoke--but here1 he added1 smilingly1 laying his hand on his saddle1 here is his grand preservative4 ,it must be foul weather1 indeed1 even for our ,northern land of mists and clouds1 that keeps him from his daily allowance of fresh air4 ,sir ,walter is an accomplished horseman1 ,i observe1 said ,i1 as we resumed our ride4 ,you may well say that6 exclaimed his son-in-law1 laughing4 ,i wish you could have seen him at the head of his troop of horse1 charging an imaginary foe4 ,only the other day1 his favorite steed broke the arm of a groom who attempted to mount him2 and yet1 in ,sir ,walter's hands1 he is as docile as need be4 ,there seems to be some secret understanding between him and his horses and dogs4 ,this very horse1 though he will never permit another man to mount him1 seems to obey his master's behests with real pride as well as pleasure4 ,i believe he would kneel to receive him on his back1 were he bidden to do so4 99 99 99 99 99 ,dipping into an instructive and pleasant1 though no longer new book1#ad the other day1 ,i came across the following passage3 ,brougham has recorded that the peroration of his speech in the ,queen's case--his celebrated defence of ,queen ,caroline against her beastly husband--was written no less than ten times before he thought it fit for so august an occasion4 ,the same is probably true of similar passages in ,webster's speeches2 it is known to be so of ,burke's4 ,what do you think of such examples of industry and perseverance as these1 young gentlemen8 #ad ,sketches of ,reform and ,reformers1--by ,h4 ,b4 ,stanton4 99 99 99 99 99 ,step in1 ma'am1 step in1 if you please1 said our ,jehu1 opening the door of a stage-coach1 in which ,i was making a journey through a region not then penetrated by modern improvements1 would you like the back seat8 ,beside him stood a slightly-formed1 delicate-looking girl1 in a hesitating attitude4 ,i cannot ride backwards without being ill1 said she1 timidly1 and ,i--,i shall be sorry to disturb any one1 but ,i would like to sit by a window4 ,a young man who was sitting on the middle seat with me immediately alighted1 to make room for the more convenient entrance of the stranger1 and1 as he did so1 the driver said decidedly--,shall be obliged to ask the gentlemen on the back seat to accommodate the lady4 ,a low-browed1 surly-looking young fellow1 who sat nearest the door of the vehicle1 on the seat designated1 doggedly kept his place1 muttering something about having the first claim1 first come1 first served1 etc4 ,seeing how matters stood1 a good-natured1 farmer-like looking old man1 who occupied the other end of the seat1 called out cheerily1 ,the young woman is welcome to my place1 if ,i can only get out of it6 and he began at once to suit the action to the word4 ,by this time the before pale face of the young girl was painfully flushed1 and she said1 in a low1 deprecating tone1 ,i am very sorry to make so much trouble4 ,no trouble at all1 ma'am--none at all6 ,just reach me your hand and ,i'll help you up--that's it6 ,i am much obliged to you1 sir--very much6 ,i hope you will find a good seat for yourself1 said the recipient of his kindness1 gently4 ,no doubt of it6 returned he of the cheery voice4 ,i ain't at all sorry to change a little--them back seat's plaguy cramped up6 ,they say1 added he1 settling himself next the boot1 that the front seat's the easiest of all4 ,one thing1 there's more room stretching his legs with an air of infinite relief between those of his opposite neighbors1 a deuced sight6 ,take your fare1 gem'men1 cried a bustling personage1 at this moment4 ,what is the fare from here to ,o----8 inquired the stationary biped in the corner behind me4 ,six shillings1 ,york money1 was the ready response4 ,six shillings6 growled the other2 seems to me there's great extortion all 'long this road4 ,yesterday ,i paid out three dollars1 hard money--twelve shillin' for lodgin'1 supper1 and breakfast1 back here to ,g----6 ,take your fare now1 sir1 interrupted the bustling little man at the door1 stepping upon the wheel1 in sublime indifference to the muttered anathemas1 half addressed to him4 ,what name1 sir8--preparing to write on the way-bill--always1 sir6 it is rulable--always put down the name4 ,the low voice of the lady1 when she was reached1 in due order1 was almost lost in the grumbling kept up by the agreeable occupant of the corner seat4 ,the most amusing commingling of opposite sounds reached my ears1 somewhat like the soft tones of a distant flute1 and the growling--not loud1 but deep--of a hungry mastiff4 ,julia ,peters--takes off the silver1 by thunder6--,is my band-box put on8 here a chinking1 as of money counted1 and then a hurried fumbling appeared to take place in the deepest depths of various pockets4 ,how soon will we be there1 in silvery murmurs--,by ,george6 ,i swear ,i b'lieve ,i lost two shillin'6--,before dark6 chimed in the flute-notes4 ,i am glad to hear it6 ,i'll be hanged if any one shall come it over me6 surged over the musical ripple4 ,when you stop at my brother-in-law's1 concluded the softer voice1 in this unique duet4 ,having been sometime on the wing1 ,i fell into a doze1 as we proceeded4 ,as ,i roused myself1 at length1 the young man who had alighted to make room for the entrance of ,miss ,peters1 whispered1 ,that young lady seems very ill--what can we do for her relief8 ,a moment's attention convinced me that the poor thing was horribly stage-sick4 ,when she appeared to rally a little1 ,i turned round to her1 and said1 that ,i trusted she would allow me to render her any service in my power4 ,forcing a smile1 she thanked me1 and replied that she would soon be better she thought1 adding1 in a still lower tone1 that the smell of tobacco always affected her very sensibly4 ,this last remark was at the time unintelligible to me1 but ,i afterwards learned that the animal on the same seat with her had regaled himself upon the vilest of cigars while ,i was napping1 and that the only attempt at an apology he had offered was a mumbled remark that1 as the wind blew the smoke out of the stage1 he s'posed no one hadn't no objections6 ,despite the hope expressed by my suffering neighbor1 she did not get better1 but continued to endure a most exhausting ordeal4 ,every decent man in the coach seemed to sympathize with her1 the rather that she so evidently tried to make the best of it1 and to avoid annoying others4 ,every one had a different remedy to suggest1 but1 unfortunately1 none of them available1 as there was no stopping place near4 ,though a somewhat experienced traveller1 my ingenuity could1 until we should stop1 effect no more than disposing my large woollen shawl so as to aid in supporting the weary head of the poor child4 ,as soon as we reached the next place for changing horses1 ,i sprang out1 in common with the other passengers1 and1 inquiring for the nearest druggist1 hastened to procure a little reliable brandy4 ,having previously arranged a change of seats with the harmless stripling who had thus far occupied the middle back seat1 ,i entered the stage1 and quietly told the young lady that1 as there was no one of her own sex aboard1 ,i should claim the privilege of age1 and prescribe for her1 if she would permit me4 ,this is not a pleasant dose1 ,i must warn you1 said ,i1 offering her a single teaspoonful of clear brandy1 but ,i can safely promise you relief1 if you will swallow it2 this is a nice1 clean glass1 too1 ,i added1 smilingly1 for ,i well knew how much that assurance would encourage my patient4 ,i do not know how to thank you sufficiently1 sir1 said the young lady1 striving to speak cheerfully1 as she attempted to raise her head4 ,taking the tumbler1 with a trembling hand1 she bravely swallowed my prescription4 ,i must own she gasped a little afterwards1 but ,i could not allow her the relief of water1 without nullifying the proper effect1 so ,i assisted her in removing her bonnet 7which the good-natured farmer1 who had re-entered the coach with me1 carefully pinned upon the lining of the vehicle1 where it would safely swing71 and in enveloping her head in her veil1 adjusting her shawl comfortably about her1 and wrapping my own about her feet4 ,if ,i become your physician1 said ,i1 as ,i stooped to make the latter process more effectual1 you must allow me the right to do as ,i think best4 ,i shall be only too much obliged by your kindness1 sir1 returned she4 ,all ,i fear is1 that you will give yourself unnecessary trouble on my account4 ,the gentleman don't seem to think it's no trouble1 interposed the old farmer1 'taint never no trouble to good-hearted folks to help a fellow-cretur in distress6 ,i wish my wife was here2 she knows a great sight better than ,i do1 how to take care o' sick folks4 ,i am sure1 replied the invalid1 if kindness could make people well1 ,i should be restored4 ,i feel myself greatly indebted to you1 gentlemen4 ,the slight color called to her cheek by the genuine feeling with which she uttered these words1 was by no means decreased1 as she gracefully accepted the offerings of the youth who had first called my attention to her indisposition4 ,coming up to the side of the stage1 near her1 he expressed the hope that she was feeling better1 and1 saying that he had known sea-sickness relieved by lemon-juice1 presented a fine1 fresh lemon1 and a superb carnation-pink1 and quickly withdrew4 ,mr4 ,benton--that ,i heard him tell the way-bill-man was his name--lost something in not hearing and seeing all ,i did of the pleasure he bestowed by his gifts2 but he had his reward1 as he re-seated himself near us4 ,you did not give me an opportunity to thank you for your politeness1 sir1 the lady hastened to say1 with a pretty1 half-shrinking manner1 ,i am so much obliged to you for the flower6 it is so spicy and refreshing1 and so very beautiful4 ,a very indifferent apology for a bouquet1 returned the gentleman1 all ,i could find1 however4 ,i am very happy if it affords you the slightest gratification4 ,no sooner were we fairly on our way again1 than ,i insisted upon supporting the head of my fair patient upon my shoulder1 assuring her that ten minutes' sleep would complete the cure already begun in her case4 ,she blushed1 and hesitated a little1 upon the plea that she would tire me4 ,allow me to be the judge of that1 ,i answered1 with some gravity1 and permit the freedom of an old man4 ,with this1 ,i placed my arm firmly about her slight form1 and1 without more ado1 the languid head dropped upon my shoulder4 ,i very soon had the satisfaction to discover that tired nature's sweet restorer had come to my assistance1 and to discern the return of some natural color to the pallid face of the poor sufferer2 so gathering her shawl more closely about her1 and disposing myself more effectually to support my light burden1 ,i maintained my vigil until the sudden stopping of the vehicle aroused us all4 ,the lady gets out here1 cried the driver1 opening the door1 and1 through the obscurity that had now gathered about us1 ,i dimly discerned the outlines of the small dwelling in front of which we were at a stand4 ,in another moment1 the door was flung hurriedly open1 and a gentleman hastened forward to receive my fair charge1 who1 notwithstanding the confusion of the moment1 found time to acknowledge the insignificant attentions she had received from her travelling companions1 much more warmly than they deserved4 ,our last glimpse of my interesting patient1 revealed her folded closely in the arms of a lady1 who appeared in the lighted passage1 and embraced1 simultaneously1 by several curly-headed children1 who clung to her dress1 and hung upon her neck with manifest and noisy delight4 ,we lumbered along1 across a dark1 covered bridge1 up hill and down1 and then ,i reached my destination1 for the nonce1 the ,new ,york ,hotel1 as the little tavern of the village of ,b---- was grand-eloquently styled4 ,well1 ,i ain't sorry we're arrove6 exclaimed the elegant young man1 with whose courtesy of nature my story opened4 ,george6--stretching his ungainly limbs upon the porch of the house--won't some tipple be fine8 ,hotel tipple's good enough for me6 ,before ,i could decide in my own mind whether this last declaration was intended as a fling at me1 for not giving ,miss ,peters a match for his disgusting tobacco-smoke1 from the bar of the stage-house1 when ,i came to the rescue in her service1 he was scuffling with some ragged boys for his trunk1 and1 as he marched off with his prize1 ,i heard a characteristic growl over the prospective tax upon his purse4 ,the next day was ,sunday1 and1 of course1 ,i was temporarily at a stand-still in my journey4 ,the sexton of the neat little church to which ,i found my way in the morning1 put me into a pew next behind that ,i surmised to be the ,rector's4 ,a movement among its occupants arrested my attention1 and ,i soon became really interested in remarking the healthful beauty of the children1 who1 disposed between the two ladies occupying the extreme ends of the seat1 seemed to find some difficulty in keeping as quiet as decorum required4 ,i want to sit by aunt ,julia1 ,i overheard1 as a bright-eyed little fellow began to nestle uneasily in his seat4 ,upon this1 the lady at the top of the pew turned her head1 and1 behold6 the face of my young stage-coach friend6 ,she was too much engaged1 however1 in aiding their mother1 as ,i supposed her to be1 in settling the children1 before the service should commence1 to observe me1 and ,i almost doubted whether the happy1 smiling face ,i saw1 was identical with the worn and colorless one that had reposed so helplessly upon my breast on the previous evening2 but there was no mistaking the soft1 blue eyes1 and the wavy hair1 almost as sunny in hue as that of the little fellow who1 at length1 rested quietly1 with his head pillowed on her arm4 ,scarcely had we begun with the ,psalter1 before ,miss ,peters looked quickly round1 with a startled glance4 ,a half-smile of recognition lighted her sweet face1 and then her gaze was as quickly withdrawn4 ,good morning1 sir6 exclaimed my new acquaintance1 advancing eagerly toward me1 and offering her hand1 as soon as we were in the vestibule of the church1 at the conclusion of the service2 ,i did not anticipate this pleasure--sister1 this is the gentleman to whom ,i was so much indebted yesterday4 ,we are all much obliged by your kindness to ,miss ,peters sir1 her companion hastened to say1 and both bowed most politely to my disclaimers of merit for so ordinary an act of humanity as that to which they referred1 and to my inquiries for the health of my fair patient4 ,then followed a cordial invitation to dinner1 in which each vied with the other in frank hospitality4 ,i attempted to compromise the matter by a promise to pay my respects to the ladies in the evening4 ,we do not dine until five on ,sunday1 sir1 and that is almost evening6 ,mr4 ,y---- will walk over and accompany you--you are at the ,hotel8 ,it will give us great pleasure if you will come1 unceremoniously1 and partake of a simple family dinner4 ,miss ,peters claims you as a friend4 ,there was no withstanding this1 especially as each phrase of courtesy was made doubly expressive1 by the most ingenuously hospitable manner4 ,really1 ladies1 said ,i1 as we reached the gate of the ,rectory1 there is no resisting such fair tempters6 ,i will be most happy to exchange the solitude of my dull room for the joys of your ,eden4 ,and1 insisting that ,i could not permit ,mr4 ,y---- to add to his clerical duties the fatigue of calling for me1 ,i renewed my expressions of gratification at the restoration of ,miss ,peters1 and took my leave4 ,i was still engaged in laying off my overcoat and shoes1 after sending in my card1 when ,mr4 ,y---- came out to welcome me2 and a most cordial welcome it was6 ,such a warm hand-shaking as he gave me1 and such emphatic assurances of the pleasure it afforded him to make my acquaintance6 ,and when ,i entered the tasteful little parlor1 where ,i found the ladies1 ,i was received with equally frank hospitality4 ,the children united with their seniors in making me feel1 at once1 that ,i was among friends4 ,one little circumstance1 ,i remember1 particularly touched me4 ,i was scarcely seated1 when a little tottering thing1 with a toy in her hand1 came and placed herself between my knees1 and raising a pair of large1 truthful1 blue eyes to mine1 lisped out1 ,i does 'ouv 'ou dearly6--'ou was 'o dood to aun' ,dule6--,i dive 'ou my pretty 'ittle birdie6 and the little cherub presented me the toy4--,it was many a long day afterwards1 believe me1 my dear boys1 before the warmth infused into the heart of an old campaigner1 by the simple adventures of that quiet village ,sabbath1 ceased to glow cheerily in his heart6 ,after the unpretending1 but pleasant1 well-appointed dinner was concluded1 ,miss ,peters rose1 and1 with a slight apology to me1 was leaving the room1 when her sister arrested her4 ,some playful1 whispered contest seemed to be going on between the two1 of which ,i could not help overhearing1 in the sweet1 silvery tones that had charmed me in the stage-coach1 ,you know1 dear1 it's such a luxury to me6--you are always with them4 ,i will have my own way when ,i am here6 and away she flew like a fawn4 ,presently1 the pattering of numerous tiny feet1 and a commingling of joyous voices1 and the music of childish laughter1 reached my ears1 from the stairs1 and then all was for a moment hushed4 ,now there was distinctly heard from above1 the swelling notes of a simple1 child's hymn1 sung by several voices1 led by the musical one ,i had learned to distinguish1 and then followed a low-murmured ,our ,father1 as ,i thought4 ,colonel ,lunettes1 said my hostess1 drawing a chair to the sofa corner1 where ,i had been snugly ensconced by two of the children1 before they said good-night1 ,i will take advantage of sister's absence to express my personal obligations to you for your kind care of her yesterday---- ,my dear ,madam1 ,i interposed1 ,i regard my meeting your sister as a special ,providence1 for which ,i alone should be deeply grateful6 ,you are very polite1 sir1 answered the lady1 we1 too1 should be grateful4 ,julia should never travel alone4 ,mr4 ,y---- always goes over to ,o---- for her1 when we expect her1 and intended to do so this time1 but she insisted upon it in her last letter1 that she knew she wouldn't be ill1 and that he would only distress her by coming1 as she was sure he was necessarily very busy1 preparing for the ,bishop's visit1 and1 indeed1 she expected to come over with an elder lady teacher in the ,seminary4 ,then ,miss ,peters is instructing1 ,mrs4 ,y----8 ,she is1 sir4 ,we are orphans a slight quiver in the tones and ,julia prefers to make this effort for herself---- ,i am opposed to it1 continued ,mr4 ,y----1 taking up the narrative1 as his wife half-paused1 and much prefer that ,julia should be with us1--she and ,mrs4 ,y---- should not be separated4 ,i am sure there is room enough in our hearts for all our children1 and ,julia is one of them6 ,the grateful1 loving smile1 and dewy eyes of the wife1 alone expressed her sense of pleasure at these words4 ,for myself1 ,i declare to you1 ,i did not like to trust myself to reply4 ,i was turning over some new pages of the history of human nature6 ,sometimes ,i think1 as ,i did then1 that the soul of man never reaches the full development of its earthly capacities1 except when continually subjected to the blessed influences of nature6 ,the city--the beaten thoroughfares of existence--curb1 if they do not deaden1 the better manifestations of the spirit1 check forever1 the most beautiful1 individualizing specialities of manner even6 ,but ,i did not mean to moralize4 ,when ,miss ,peters rejoined us1 her brother-in-law rose 7as ,i also did1 of course7 and seated her between us1 on the sofa4 ,my dear young lady1 said ,i1 taking her hand respectfully in my own1 permit me to say1 as ,dr4 ,johnson did to ,hannah ,more1 upon meeting her for the first time1 ',i understand that you are engaged in the useful and honorable occupation of instructing young ladies1'--if it were possible more thoroughly to forget the brevity of our acquaintance1 than ,i have already done1 this would have deepened my respect and interest for you6 ,pardon me1 if ,i take too great a liberty4 ,you have1 from the commencement of our acquaintance1 permitted me the privileges of an octogenarian---- ,and of a gentleman of the old school6 she added1 with great vivacity1 and with the most bewitching smile4 ,before ,i leave you1 my dear ,miss ,peters1 will you allow me to make a prophecy8 ,if you are a prophet of good1 sir---- ,can you doubt it1 when your future fate is the subject8 ,indeed1 sir1 ,i shall have great faith in your auguries6 returned my fair neighbor1 bestowing the twin of her first smile upon me4 ,well1 then1 my dear1 it is my solemn conviction that you have not yet learned all you will one day know of the depth of the impression you have left upon the heart of ,mr4 ,benton1 ,i answered1 with a gravity that ,i intended should tell4 ,mr4 ,benton6 so that's his name8 laughed ,mrs4 ,y----1 gaily4 ,julia pretended not to know his name6 ,i thought it was a conquest6 ,i have not yet had an opportunity of looking out the 'language' of a very large1 full blown carnation pink6 ,no doubt1 interrupted ,mr4 ,y----1 it is precisely the opposite of lemon-juice6 ,between laughing and blushing1 the fair subject of this badinage made but a faint show of resistance2 but1 at this juncture1 she managed to say1 as she turned to me1 with a most courteous bow4 ,i very much question whether the sentiments expressed by any flower can more readily touch the heart1 than that ,i have known conveyed by a teaspoonful of brandy6 ,bravo6 cried ,mr4 ,y----4 ,well done1 ,jule6 echoed my hostess4 ,and ,i6--my feelings were too deep for words6 ,i could only lay my hand upon my heart1 and raise my eyes to the ceiling4 99 99 99 99 99 ,perhaps there is no better test of the unexceptionableness of a habit1 than to suppose it generally adopted1 and infer the consequences4 ,i remember some such reflection1 in connection with a little circumstance that once fell under my observation3--,dining with a young ,canadian1 at his residence in ,kingston1 ,c4 ,w41 ,i met1 among other persons1 an ,english notability1 of whom ,i had frequently heard and read4 ,a slight pause in the conversation1 made doubly audible a loud yawn proceeding from one corner of the dining-room1 and1 as a general look of surprise was visible1 a huge ,newfoundland dog approached us1 stretching his limbs1 and shaking from his shaggy coat anything but ,sabaean odors1 from the spicy shores ,of ,araby the ,blest6 ,our host endeavored to say something polite1 and the animal1 advancing toward the celebrity1 stationed himself1 familiarly1 at his master's side1 somewhat to the annoyance1 probably1 of the lady next him4 ,with the utmost sang froid1 the privileged character held his finger-bowl to his dog1 and remarked1 as he eagerly lapped the contents1 that he had eaten highly-seasoned venison at lunch6 99 99 99 99 99 ,foreigners1 says ,madame de ,stael1 are a kind of contemporaneous posterity4 ,this truth apart1 ,i had sufficient reason to blush for my country1 on more than one occasion1 lately1 while travelling at the ,west1 in company with a well-bred young ,european4 ,his own manners were so pleasing as to render more striking the peculiarities of others1 and his habits so refined1 as1 when united with his large observation and intelligence1 to make him an exceedingly agreeable person to associate with4 ,one hot day1 during a portion of our journey performed by steamer1 ,i looked up from my book1 and saw him coming toward me4 ,i have found a cool place1 sir1 said he1 and have come to beg you to join me--we shall be undisturbed there4 ,i rose1 and was about to take up my seat4 ,allow me1 sir6 ,i am the younger1 said he2 and he insisted upon carrying my seat1 as well as the one he had previously secured for himself4 ,and this was his habitual phrase1 when there was any occasion to allude to the difference in our years4 ,he never said--,you are older than ,i am1 or insinuated that my lameness made me less active than he1 when he offered his arm1 in our numerous promenades4 ,the idea he seemed ever studying to express was1 that he had pleasure in the society of the old soldier1 and thought him entitled to respect and precedence on all occasions4 ,aside from the personal gratification and comfort ,i derived from these graceful and unremitting attentions1 it was a source of perpetual pleasure to me to observe his beautiful courtesy to all with whom he came in contact4 ,he had with him a land surveyor1 or agent of some sort2 with this person he1 apparently1 found little in common1 but1 when he had occasion to converse with him1 ,i always remarked his punctilious politeness4 ,and so with his servant2 he always requested1 never ordered1 him to do what he wished4 ,reserved and laconic1 when giving him directions1 there was yet a certain assuring kindliness in his voice1 that seemed to act like a talisman upon his man1 who1 speaking our language very imperfectly1 would have often suffered the consequences of embarrassing mistakes1 but for the clear1 simple1 intelligible directions and explanations of his master4 ,but to return4 ,scarcely were we seated quietly in the retired spot so carefully selected by my friend1 when a couple of young fellows came swaggering along1 and stationing themselves near us1 began smoking1 spitting and talking so loudly1 as to disturb and annoy us1 exceedingly4 ,what a pity that this fine air should be so poisoned6 exclaimed my companion1 in ,french1 glancing at the intruders4 ,for my part1 pure air is good enough for me1 without perfume6 ,do you never smoke8 ,i asked1 in the same tongue4 ,certainly6 but ,i do not smoke always and everywhere6 ,neither do ,i think it decent to soil every place with tobacco-juice1 as you do in this country6 ,it is infamous6 returned ,i4 ,now just look at those fellows6 ,see how near they are to that group of ladies1 and then look at the condition of the deck all around them4 ,as ,i spoke1 the lady nearest the nuisance1 apparently becoming suddenly aware of her dangerous proximity1 hurriedly gathered her dress closely about her1 and moved as far away as she could without separating herself from her party4 ,despite these indications1 the shower continued to fall plentifully around1 and the smoke to blow into the faces of those who were so unfortunate as to be seated in the neighborhood4 ,have you not regulations to prevent such annoyances1 inquired the stranger4 ,every steamer professes to have them1 ,i believe1 returned ,i1 but if such vulgar men as these choose to violate them1 no one even thinks of insisting upon their enforcement--every one submits1 and every one is annoyed--that is1 all decent people are6 ,vive la ,liberte et l',egalite6 exclaimed the ,european1 laughing good-humoredly4 ,as if echoing the mirth of my companion1 a merry laugh from the group of ladies near us1 arrested my attention at this moment4 ,without appearing to remark them1 ,i soon ascertained that they were amusing themselves with the ridiculous figure presented by one of the smokers4 ,his associate had left him alone in his glory1 and there he sat1 fast asleep1 with his mouth wide open1 his hat over one eye1 and his feet tucked across under the seat of his chair1 which supported only on its hind legs1 was tilted back against the side of the cabin4 ,my description can give you but a poor idea of the ludicrousness of the thing4 ,one of those laughing girls would have done it better6 ,i overheard more than one of their droll comments4 ,what if his chair should upset1 when he 'catches fish6' exclaimed a pretty little girl1 looking roguishly from under her shadowing round straw hat4 ,there is more danger that that wasp will fly down his throat1 replied another of the gay bevy4 ,what a yawning cavern it is6 ,that wasp is hovering over the 'crack of doom6' ,he reminds me rather of ,daniel in the lion's den1 put in a third4 ,let's move our seats before he wakes up1 cried one of the girls1 as the nondescript made a slight demonstration upon a fly that had invaded his repose4 ,he is protected by the barricade he has surrounded himself with--like a upas-tree in the centre of its own vile atmosphere--but we1 unwary travellers1 are not equally safe6 ,a day or two afterwards1 these very young men were just opposite me at table1 in a hotel in one of our large ,western cities4 ,they were well dressed 7with the exception of colored shirts7 and well-looking enough1 but1 after what ,i had previously seen of them1 ,i was not surprised to observe their habits of eating4 ,one would throw up both arms1 and clasp his hands over his head1 while waiting for a re-supply of food2 the other stop1 now and then1 to lay off his bushy moustache1 so as to make more room for the shovelling process he kept up with his knife1 for the more rapid disappearance of a large goblet of water at one swallowing1 or for the introduction of a mammoth ear of corn1 which he took both hands to hold1 while he gobbled up row after row1 with inconceivable rapidity4 ,then one would manipulate an enormous drum-stick1 while he lolled comfortable back in his chair1 grievously belaboring his voluminous beard1 the while1 and leaving upon it an all-sufficient substitute for maccassar1 and the other1 simultaneously make a loud demonstration with his pocket-handkerchief1 or upon his head4 ,now one would stretch out his legs under the table1 until he essentially invaded my reserved rights1 and then the other insert his tongue first in one cheek1 and then in the other1 rolling it vigorously round1 as a cannoneer would swab out a great gun with his sponge1 before re-loading6 ,flushed1 heated1 steaming1 the heaps of sweet-potato skins1 bones1 and bits of food profusely scattered over the soiled cloth1 fully attested the might of their achievements6 ,much of this1 as ,i said1 ,i was prepared for1 but ,i was somewhat surprised by what followed4 ,i had sent for a quail1 ,i think1 or some other small game1 and was preparing to discuss its merits1 when one of these young men1 reaching over1 stuck his fork into the bird1 and transferred it to his own plate6 ,i saw at a glance that no offense was intended to me--that the seeming rudeness was simply the result of vulgarity and ignorance2 so ,i very quietly directed the servant to bring me another bird4 ,scarcely was the second dish placed before me1 when the other youth of this delectable pair exactly repeated the action of his companion1 and ,i again found myself minus my game4 ,mon ,dieu6 cried my young foreign friend1 if you can endure that1 you are a hero1 sir6 ,an hour or two subsequent to this agreeable incident1 ,i was again seated in the cars1 and hearing a noise behind me1 soon satisfied myself that my neighbors at dinner that day were to be my neighbors still1 and that they were at present busily employed in disputing with the conductor respecting a seat next their own1 which they wished to monopolize for the accommodation of their legs1 and which1 in consequence of the crowded state of the cars1 the man insisted upon filling with other passengers4 ,presently there came in a pale1 weary-looking woman1 with a wailing infant in her arms and another young child clinging to her garments4 ,she found a seat where she could1 and sinking into it1 disposed of a large basket she had also carried1 and commenced trying to pacify the baby4 ,here was a fit subject for the rude jests and jibes of the young fellows ,i have described4 ,and full use did they make of their vulgar license of tongue4 ,the poor mother grew more and more distressed as those unfeeling comments reached her ears from time to time1 and at each outbreak from the infant strove more nervously to pacify it4 ,i observed that a good-humored looking1 large1 handsome man1 who sat a little before this woman1 frequently glanced round at the child1 and sought to divert its attention by various little playful motions4 ,at length1 when the cars stopped for a few minutes1 out he sallied1 in all haste1 and presently returned with his hands full of fruits and cakes4 ,offering a liberal share of these to the woman and her little girl1 after distributing some to his party1 he reserved a bright red apple1 and said cheerily to the mother3 ,let me take your little boy1 ma'am1 ,i think ,i can quiet him4 ,the little urchin set up a loud scream1 as he found himself in the strong grasp of the stranger2 but1 a few moments' perseverance effected his benevolent purpose4 ,tossing the boy up1 directing his attention to the apple1 and then carrying him through the empty car a turn or two1 sufficed to chase away the clouds and showers from what proved to be a bright1 pretty face1 and very soon the amiable gentleman returned to his seat1 saying very quietly to the woman1 as he passed her1 ,we will keep your little child awhile1 and take good care of him4 ,the baby was healthy-looking1 and its clothes1 though plain1 were entirely clean--so the poor thing was by no means a disagreeable plaything for the young lady beside whom the gentleman was seated4 ,for some little time they amused themselves in this humane manner1 and then the young man gently snugged the weary creature down upon his broad chest1 and there it lay asleep1 like a flower on a rock1 nestled under a shawl1 and firmly supported by the enfolding arm that seemed unconscious of its light burden4 ,meantime the pale1 tired mother regaled herself with the refreshments so bountifully provided for her1 watching the movements of the little group before her with evident satisfaction2 and at length settled herself for a nap in the corner of her seat1 with the other child asleep in her lap4 ,the noisy comments of the fast young men in the rear of the car became less audible and offensive1 ,i noticed1 after the stranger came to the rescue1 and when ,i passed their seat1 afterwards1 ,i could not be surprised at their comparative silence1 upon beholding the enormous quantity of pea-nut shells and fruit skins with which the floor was strewn1 and noticing the industry with which they were squirting tobacco juice over the whole4 ,by-and-by the cars made another pause4 ,the mother of the little boy roused herself and looked hastily round for her treasures4 ,upon this the young lady who occupied the seat with her new friend came to her and seemed reassuring her4 ,as soon as the thronging crowd had passed out1 ,i heard her saying1 as ,i caught a peep at the sweetest face1 bent smilingly towards the woman--,i made a nice little bed for him1 as soon as the next seat was empty1 and he is still fast asleep4 ,does he like milk8 ,mr4 ,grant will get some when he wakes--it is so unpleasant for a lady to get out of the cars4 7,here the woman seemed to make some explanation1 and a shadow of sympathy passed over the smiling face ,i was admiring1 as one sees a passing cloud move above a sunny landscape47 ,well1 we will be glad to be of use to you1 as far as we go on1 pursued the fair girl2 ,i will find out all about it1 and tell you before we leave the cars4 ,now1 just rest all you can--let me put this shawl up a little higher--there6 ,it is such a relief to get off one's bonnet6 ,i'll put it up for you4 ,the little girl had better come with me4--,oh1 no1 she will not1 ,i am sure6 ,what's your name1 dear8 ,mary6 that's the prettiest name in the world6 everybody loves ,mary6 ,i have such a pretty book to show you--and having tucked up the object of her gentle care in quite a cosy manner1 while she was saying this1 the good girl gave a pretty1 encouraging little nod to the woman1 and went back1 taking the other juvenile with her1 to her own place4 ,when her companion joined her1 she looked up in his face with a beaming1 triumphant sort of a smile1 and1 receiving a response in the same expressive language1 all seemed quite understood between them4 ,what an angel6 exclaimed the young ,european1 in his favorite tongue1 as he re-entered the car1 and caught part of this little by-scene4 ,do you know what she said to that poor woman8 ,i gave him all the explanation in my power4 ,his fine eyes kindled4 ,she is as good as she is beautiful6 ,have you remarked the magnificent head of the gentleman with her8 ,what a superb profile he has--so classic6 ,and his broad chest--there's a model for a bust6 ,i happened to be in the studio of your celebrated countryman1 ,powers1 at ,florence1 with my father1 who was sitting to him1 when the great ,thorwaldsen came to visit him4 ,boy1 as ,i was1 at that time1 ,i remember his words1 as he stood before the bust of your ,webster3 ',i cannot make such busts6' ,but was it not1 sir1 because he had no such models as your country affords8 ,these were courteous words2 but ,i do them poor justice in the record2 ,i cannot express the voice and manner from which they received their charm4 ,well1 at the risk of tiring you1 ,i hasten to conclude my little sketch4 ,i amused myself by quietly watching the thing through1 and noticed1 towards evening1 that the amiable strangers went together to the woman they had befriended1 after the gentleman had been into the hotel1 before which we were standing1 seemingly to make some inquiry for her4 ,both talked for a few minutes1 apparently very kindly1 to her and to the children1 and seemed to encourage her by some assurance as they parted4 ,as they were turning away1 the grateful mother rose1 and1 snatching the hand first of one1 and then of the other1 burst out1 with a ,god bless you both6 so fervent as to be audible where ,i sat4 ,don't speak of such a trifle6 returned the youth1 in a clear1 distinct voice1 raising his noble form to its full height1 and flashing forth the light of his falcon eye2 for my part1 ,i am very glad to be able to do a little good as ,i go along in the world6 ,in a few moments the handsome stranger was seen carefully placing his fair travelling companion in an elegant carriage1 where a lady was awaiting them1 and upon which several trunks were already strapped4 ,while cordial greetings were still in progress between the trio1 a well-dressed servant gave the reins to a superb pair of dark bays1 and in another instant they were flying along in the direction of a stately-looking mansion of which ,i caught sight in the distance4 ,who the d---- is that fellow8 shouted one of the pair in the rear4 ,i say1 porter1 stretching his body far out of the car window1 and beckoning to a man on the steps of the neighboring building1 ,what's the name of those folks in that carriage8 dev'lish pretty girl1 ,i swear6 ,sir-r-r8 answered ,paddy1 coming to the side of the car1 and pulling his dirty cap on one side of his head with one hand1 while he operated upon his carroty hair with the fingers of the other2 what's yer honor's plaizure8 ,i say1 what's the name of that gentleman who has just gone off in that carriage there8 ,oh6 sure that's young ,gineral ,grant2 him that owns the fine house beyant--,i hear tell he's the new ,congressman1 sir6 ,bien6 whispered my foreign friend1 laughing heartily1 this is a great country6 you do things upon so large a scale here1 that one must not wonder when extremes meet6 99 99 99 99 99 ,what1 coz1 still sitting with your things on1 waiting8 ,haven't you been impatient8 ,oh1 no1 not at all1 ,i've been reading4 ,well1 but1 do you know it's twelve o'clock8 ,we were to start at half-past ten4 ,what did you think of me for delaying so long8 ,i was afraid some accident had happened2 but ,i could see nothing from the window1 and ,i did not like to go out on the portico alone4 ,then you did not think me careless1 and were not vexed8 ,not ,i1 indeed6 ,i was sure you would come if you could1 and was only anxious about you1 as you were to try that new horse4 ,i did not take off my bonnet1 because ,i kept expecting you every moment4 ,and ,i kept expecting to come every moment--that devilish animal6 ,i tried to send you word1 but ,i could not get sight of a servant--confound the fellows6 they are always out of the way when one wants them4 ,but1 ,charley1 dear1 what about the horse8 ,has he really troubled you8 ,i am sorry you bought him4 ,oh1 ,i've conquered him6 it wouldn't have taken me so long before ,i had that devilish fever6 ,but1 come1 cozzy dear1 will you go now1 or is your patience all gone8 ,i would like the drive--but1 ,charley1 had we not better put it off until to-morrow morning8 ,you must be tired out1 and1 perhaps1 the horse will continue to trouble you4 ,no1 no--come1 come along1 if you are willing to go4 ,now1 ,charley and his cousin were together at a little rural watering-place1 in search of change of air and scene4 ,charley had been recently ill1 and1 as he chanced to be separated from his family at the time1 was particularly fortunate in having had the gentle ministrations of ,belle1 as he usually called her1 at command1 during his convalescence4 ,belle was an orphan1 without brothers1 and she clung to ,charley with the tenacity of a loving heart1 deprived of its natural resources4 ,temporarily relieved from her duties as a teacher1 her cousin invited her to accompany him in this little tour1 in pity for the languor that was betrayed by her drooping eyes1 and lagging step2 and his kindly nurse1 flattering herself that her occupation was not yet quite gone1 was only too happy to escape from her city prison1 under such safe and agreeable protection4 ,yielding and quiet1 as she ordinarily was1 ,belle had very strict notions of propriety on some points4 ,so1 when she and her cousin were making their final arrangements1 before commencing their journey1 she laid upon the table before him1 a bank-note of considerable amount1 with the request that he would appropriate it to the payment of her travelling expenses4 ,time enough for that1 by-and-by1 coz4 ,no1 if you please1 ,charley4 ,it is enough that you will be burdened by the care of me1 without having your purse taxed1 too4 ,just be so good as to keep a little account of what you pay for me--remembering porterage1 carriage-hire1 and such matters--ladies always have the most luggage4 ,and a little hand playfully smoothed the doubled paper upon the cuff of ,charley's coat-sleeve1 and left it lying there4 ,her cousin very well knew that this bank-note comprised a large portion of ,belle's quarterly salary1 though she made no allusion to the matter2 and1 though his own resources were moderate1 men so much more easily acquire money than women--well1 never mind6 people differ in their ideas of luxury4 ,charley had some new experiences in this little tour of his and ,belle's4 ,he had an idea1 previously1 that women are always a bother1 in travelling1 and he found himself sorely puzzled to make out1 exactly1 what trouble it was to have his cousin always ready to read to him1 when they sat together on the deck of a steamer1 or while he lay on the sofa at a hotel1 to claim the comfortable seat at her side in a rail-car1 to have her keep his cane and book1 while he went out to chat with an acquaintance1 watch when he grew drowsy1 and softly gather his shawl about his neck1 and make a pillow of her own for him1 or to see the tear that sometimes gathered in her meek eyes1 when she acknowledged any little courtesy on his part4 ,then1 when1 after they were settled in their snug quarters1 at the watering-place1 ,belle1 half-timidly1 sat a moment on his knee1 and1 looking proudly round upon the order she had brought out of chaos1 among his toilet articles1 books1 and clothes1 said--,oh1 what a happy week ,i have to thank you for1 dear cousin ,charley6 ,you have done so many1 many kind things for me1 all the way6 ,i have had to travel alone almost always since pa's--since--he was really quite at a loss to know what kind things she referred to1 and said so4 ,why1 ,charley6 returned she1 making a vigorous effort to get over the choking feeling that had suddenly assailed her1 upon alluding to her deceased father1 don't you know--no1 you don't know1 what a happiness it is to a poor1 lonely thing1 like me1 to have some one to take care of her luggage1 and pay her fare1 and all those things8 ,i know1 in this country1 women can travel alone1 safely--quite so2 but it isn't pleasant1 for all that1 to go into crowds of rough men1 without any one4 ,the other evening1 at ,new ,haven1 for instance1 it was quite dark1 when we landed1 and those hackmen made such a noise1 and crowded so--but ,i felt just as safe1 and comfortable1 while sitting waiting for you in the carriage1 all the while you were gone back about our trunks6 ,oh1 you can't realize it1 ,charley1 dear6 and the fair speaker shook her head1 with a mournful earnestness1 that expressed almost as much sober truthfulness1 as appealing femininity4 ,but about this morning drive4 ,with the trusting confidence for which her sex have such an infinite capacity1 ,belle yielded at once to the implied wish of her temporary protector1 and they were soon rolling along1 in a light1 open carriage1 through deeply-shadowing woods and across little brooklets which were merrily disporting themselves under the trees4 ,the poor wild-wood bird1 so long caged1 yet ever longing to be free1 carolled and mused by turns1 or permitted her joyous nature to gush out in exclamations of delight4 ,what delicious air6 she exclaimed4 ,really it exhilarates one1 like a cordial4 ,oh1 ,charley1 dear1 look at those flowers6 ,may ,i get out for them8 ,do let me6 ,i won't be gone a minute4 ,just you sit still1 and hold your war-steed4 ,don't be so ceremonious as to alight2 ,i need no assistance4 ,and with a bound the happy creature was on her feet1 and in an instant dancing along1 to the music of her own glad voice1 over the soft grass4 ,too considerate to encroach upon his patience unduly1 ,belle soon reseated herself beside ,charley1 with a lap full of floral treasures4 ,here are enough for bouquets for both our rooms1 said she2 how fresh and fragrant they are6 ',they have tales of the joyous woods to tell1 ,of the free blue streams and the glowing sky4' ,bless ,god for flowers--and friends6 ,as the artless girl fervently uttered the last words1 she turned a pair of sweet blue eyes1 into which tears of gratitude and pleasure had suddenly started1 upon the face of her companion4 ,what a painful revulsion of feeling was produced by that glance6 ,she scarcely recognized the face of her cousin1 so completely had gloom and discontent usurped the place of his usual hilarious expression4 ,what could be the matter8 ,had she offended him6 ,repressing1 with quick tact1 all manifestations of surprise1 though her frame thrilled1 as if from a heavy blow1 ,belle was silent for a while1 and then said in a subdued tone that contrasted strangely with her former bird-like glee--,your horse goes nicely now1 ,charley1 doesn't he8 ,you seem to have effectually conquered him2 but ,i am sure you must be tired1 now1 dear cousin1 you have been out so long4 ,had we not better return8 ,why1 you have had no ride at all yet1 ,isabella1 returned the young man1 in a voice that was as startling to his sensitive auditor as his altered countenance had been4 ,oh1 yes1 ,i have1 she quickly answered1 endeavoring to speak as cheerfully as possible1 ,i have enjoyed myself so much that ,i ought to be quite contented to go back1 and ,i really think we'd better do so4 ,charley's only response was turning his horse's head homeward4 ,for a while they drove on in silence1 ,belle's employment of arranging her flowers now wholly mechanical1 so engrossing was the tumult in her heart4 ,just as they came in sight of their hotel1 the unruly animal that had already occasioned his new owner so much trouble1 stopped1 and stood like a wooden effigy in the middle of the road4 ,in vain did word and whip appeal to his locomotive powers4 ,at length the pent-up wrath that had apparently been gathering fury for the last hour burst forth4 ,devilish brute6 ,i never was so shamefully imposed upon6 ,i wish to ,g---- ,i never had set foot in this infernal hole6 ,there's no company here fit for a decent fellow to associate with4 ,i shall die of stupidity in a week--particularly if ,i have to drive such a confounded concern as this6 ,here followed a volley of mingled blows and curses4 ,the terrified witness of this scene sat tremblingly silent1 for a time1 clinging to the side of the carriage1 as if to keep herself quiet4 ,presently she said3 ,perhaps ,i'd better jump out and run to the house1 and send some one out to assist you4 ,you may get out1 if you choose1 answered her cousin1 gruffly1 but ,i want no assistance about the horse4 ,i'll break every bone in his body1 but ,i'll conquer his devilish temper6 ,after another pause1 ,belle said1 ,well1 ,charley1 if you please1 ,i will walk on4 ,i am sorry you are so annoyed1 she added1 timidly1 carefully averting her pale face from him2 but perhaps this is only a phase1 and he may never do so again4 ,her companion broke into a loud1 mocking laugh4 ,what in thunder do you know about horses1 ,isabella8 ,nothing1 ,charley--nothing in the world1 returned his cousin1 quickly1 in the gentlest voice1 ,i only---- ,ye-es6 drawled the angry youth1 ,i know--some women think their 'ready wit' will enable them to talk upon any subject6 ,get up1 now1 you rascal1 will you8 ,belle knew her weakness too well to trust herself to speak1 so1 drawing her veil closely about her face1 and gathering up her shawl and her flowers1 she stepped from the low carriage with assumed composure1 and bowing slightly1 walked towards the house4 ,meeting a servant1 at the foot of the stairs1 she said1 very quietly1 ,mr4 ,cunningham will be here in a few minutes with his horse2 ,i hope some one will be ready to take him1 and passed on4 ,this was all she dared to do1 in aid of the exasperated youth4 ,once in her own room1 it seemed but the work of a moment for the agitated girl to throw off her shawl and bonnet1 and transport some light refreshments she had previously prepared1 across the passage to her cousin's room1 to draw up his lounging chair to the table1 and with a few skillful touches to give that air of comfort to the simply-furnished apartment which it had been her daily pleasure to impart to it4 ,this self-imposed task achieved1 she flew1 like a guilty intruder1 to her own little asylum1 and locking the door1 flung herself upon the bed1 burying her face in the pillows4 ,but though her quick1 convulsive sobs were stifled1 they shook her slight1 sensitive form till it quivered in every nerve1 like a delicate exotic suddenly exposed to the blasts of a northern winter4 ,by-and-by a sound roused her from this agony of tears4 ,there is the first dinner-gong1 said she1 to herself1 starting up1 what shall ,i do8 ,perhaps ,charley won't like it if ,i don't go to dinner4 ,my head aches dreadfully4 ,i don't mind that so much1 but 7looking in the glass7 my face is so flushed4 ,i wouldn't for the world vex ,charley1 ,i'm sure4 ,with this she began some hasty toilet preparations2 but her hands trembled so violently as to force her to desist4 ,wrapping her shivering form in her shawl1 she sat down on a low chair1 and again gave way to emotions which gradually shaped themselves thus3 ,i am so sorry ,i came with ,charley4 ,he was never anything but kind till we came here4 ,and then ,i should have1 at least1 had nothing but pleasant things to remember4 ,but now--,i am afraid ,charley is ashamed of me2 he looked at my dress so scrutinizingly this morning1 when he came to my door4 ,i know ,i'm not the least fashionable2 but ,mrs4 ,tillou is1 and she complimented me on this neglige--it is soiled now1 and my pretty slippers1 too1 walking back through the mud6 ',isabella6' ,how cold and strange it sounded6 ,i am so used to 'cozzy dear1' and have learned to love it so4 ,my poor heart6 pressing both hands upon her side as if to still a severe pang4 ,then she rose1 and creeping slowly along the floor1 swallowed some water1 and seating herself at the table1 drew writing materials towards her4 ,steadying her hand with great effort1 and every moment pressing her handkerchief to her eyes1 she achieved the following note3 ,having a little headache to-day1 dear ,charley1 ,i prefer not to dine1 if you will excuse me4 ,i will be quite ready to meet you in the parlor before tea4 ,ever yours1 ,,belle4 ,tuesday ,morning4 ,designing to accompany this with some of the flowers she now remembered1 for the first time since her return from her ill-starred morning excursion1 ,belle hastily re-arranged the prettiest of them in a little bouquet4 ,as she removed an already withered wild-rose from among its companions1 a solitary tear fell upon its shrivelled petals4 ,perhaps1 she murmured mournfully1 with a heavy sigh1 ,i should have made another idol1--perhaps ,i should soon have learned to love ,charley too well1 if this chastening had not come upon me--could he have thought so8 ,as she breathed this query1 the small head was suddenly thrown back1 like that of a startled gazelle1 and a blush so vivid and burning as to pale the previous flush of agitation1 flashed over cheek and brow4 ,quickly ringing the bell1 and carefully concealing herself from observation1 behind the door1 when she half-opened it1 the servant who answered her summons was requested to hand the note and flowers to ,mr4 ,cunningham1 if he was in his room1 and if not1 to place them where he would be sure to see them when he came up4 ,when will ,i ever learn1 said ,belle1 in a tone of bitter self-reproach1 as she re-locked the door1 not to cling and trust1--not ----to make idols1 and to find them clay6 ,i have not seen you looking so well since you came here1 ,miss ,cunningham1 said a gentleman to ,belle1 joining her as she was entering the public parlor that evening4 ,do allow me to felicitate you6 ,what a brilliant color6--,you were driving this morning1 were you not8 ,no doubt you are indebted to your cousin for the bright roses in your cheeks6 99 99 99 99 99 ,and now1 my dear young friends1 let me only add1 in concluding this lengthened letter1 that1 had ,i early acquired the habit of writing1 you would1 doubtless1 have less occasion to criticise these effusions--attempted1 for your benefit1 at too late a period of life to enable me to render them what ,i could wish4 ,use them as beacons1 since they cannot serve as models6 ,adieu6 ,,henry ,,lunettes4 ,,letter ,,xi4 ,,mental ,,and ,,moral ,,education4 ,,my ,,dear ,,nephews3 ,having touched1 in our preceding letters1 upon matters relating to ,physical ,training1 ,manner1 and the lighter accomplishments that embellish existence1 we come now to the inner life--to the ,education of the ,mind and ,heart1 or ,soul of ,man4 ,metaphysicians would1 ,i make no doubt1 find ample occasion to cavil at the few observations ,i shall venture to offer you on these important subjects1 and1 painfully conscious of my total want of skill to treat them in detail1 ,i will only attempt a few desultory suggestions1 intended rather to impress you with the importance ,i attach to self-culture1 than to furnish you with full directions regarding it4 ,the genius of our ,national ,institutions pre-supposes the truth that education is within the power of all1 and that all are capable of availing themselves of its benefits4 ,education1 in the highest1 truest sense1 does not involve the necessity of an elaborate system of scientific training1 with an expenditure of time and money entirely beyond the command of any but the favored few who make the exception1 rather than the rule1 in relation to the race in general4 ,happily for the ,progress of ,humanity1 the will to do1 the soul to dare1 are never wholly subject to the control of outer circumstance1 and here1 in our free land1 they are comparatively untrammeled4 ,there are two powers of the human soul1 says one of our countrymen1 distinguished for a knowledge of ,intellectual ,science1 which make self-culture possible1 the self-searching1 and the self-forming power4 ,we have1 first1 the faculty of turning the mind on itself2 of recalling its past1 and watching its present operations2 of learning its various capacities and susceptibilities2 what it can do and bear2 what it can enjoy and suffer2 and of thus learning1 in general1 what our nature is1 and what it is made for4 ,it is worthy of observation1 that we are able to discern not only what we already are1 but what we may become1 to see in ourselves germs and promises of a growth to which no bounds can be set2 to dart beyond what we have actually gained1 to the idea of perfection at the end of our being4 ,assuming that to be the most enlightened system of education which tends most effectively to develop all the faculties of our nature1 it is impossible1 practically1 to separate moral and religious from intellectual discipline4 ,if we possess the responsibility as well as the capacity of self-training--that must be a most imperfect system1 one most unjust to our better selves1 which cultivates the intellectual powers at the expense of those natural endowments1 without which1 man were fitter companion for fiends than for higher intelligences6 ,pursued beyond a certain point1 education1 established upon this basis1 may not facilitate the acquisition of wealth2 and if this were the highest pursuit to which it can be made subservient1 effort1 beyond that point1 were useless4 ,but if we regard the acquirement of money chiefly important as affording the essential means of gratifying the tastes1 providing for the necessities1 and facilitating the exercise of the moral instincts of our being1 we return1 at once1 to our former position4 ,he1 therefore1 who does what he can to unfold all his powers and capacities1 especially his nobler ones1 so as to become a well-proportioned1 vigorous1 excellent1 happy being1 practises self-culture4 ,those of you who have enjoyed the advantages of a regular course of intellectual training1 will need no suggestion of mine to aid you in mental discipline2 but possibly a few hints on this point may not be wholly useless to others4 ,the general dissemination of literature1 in forms so cheap as to be within the reach of all1 renders reading a natural resource for purposes of amusement as well as instruction4 ,but they who are still so young as to make the acquisition of knowledge the proper business of life1 should never indulge themselves in reading for mere amusement4 ,never1 therefore1 permit yourselves to pass over words or allusions1 with the meaning of which you are unacquainted1 in works you are perusing4 ,go at once to the fountain-head--to a dictionary for unintelligible words1 to an encyclopedia for general information1 to a classical authority for mythological and other similar facts1 etc41 etc4 ,you will not read as fast1 by adopting this plan1 but you will soon realize that you are1 nevertheless1 advancing much more rapidly1 in the truest sense4 ,when you have not works of reference at command1 adopt the practice of making brief memoranda1 as you go along1 of such points as require elucidation1 and avail yourself of the earliest opportunity of seeking a solution of your doubts4 ,and do not1 ,i beg of you1 think this too laborious4 ,the best minds have been trained by such a course4 ,depend upon it1 genius is no equivalent for the advantage ultimately derived from patient perseverance in such a course4 ,i remember well1 that to the latest year of his life1 my old friend1 ,de ,witt ,clinton1 one of the noblest specimens of the race it has been my fortune to know1 would spring up1 like a boy1 despite his stiff knee1 when any point of doubt arose1 in conversation1 upon literary or scientific subjects1 and hasten to select a book containing the desired information1 from a little cabinet adjoining his usual reception-room4 ,his was a genuine love of learning for its own sake2 and the toil and turmoil of political life never extinguished his early passion1 nor deprived him of a taste for its indulgence4 ,moralists have always questioned the wisdom of indulging a taste for fictitious literature1 even when time has strengthened habit and principle into fixedness4 ,the license of the age in which we live1 renders futile the elaborate discussion of this question of ethics4 ,but1 while permitting yourselves the occasional perusal of works of poetry and fiction1 do not so far indulge this taste as to stimulate a disrelish for more instructive reading4 ,and1 above all1 do not permit yourselves to acquire an inclination for the unwholesome stimulus of licentiousness1 in this respect4 ,every man of the world should know something of the belle-lettre literature of his own language1 at least1 and1 as a rule1 the more the better2 but1 ,where ignorance is bliss1 'tis folly to be wise2 and the vile translations from profligate foreign literature1 which have1 of late years1 united with equally immoral productions in our own1 to foster a corrupt popular taste1 cannot be too carefully avoided by all who would escape moral contagion4 ,you will find the practice of noting fine passages1 felicitous modes of expression1 novel thoughts1 etc41 as they occur even in lighter literary productions1 not unworthy of your attention4 ,it will serve1 collaterally1 to assist in the formation of a pure style of conversation and composition1 a consideration of no small importance for those whose future career will demand facility in this regard4 ,carlyle has somewhere remarked that1 our public men are all gone to tongue6 ,this peculiarity of the times1 may1 to some extent1 have grown out of its new and peculiar social and political necessities4 ,but1 whether that be so1 or not1 since such is the actual state of things1 let all new competitors for public distinction seek every means of securing ready success4 ,while ,i would not1 without reservation1 condemn the perusal of fictitious literature1 ,i think you will need no elaborate argument to convince you of the superior importance of a thorough familiarity with ,history and general ,science4 ,let me1 also1 commend to your attention1 well-chosen ,biography1 as affording peculiarly impressive incentives to individual effort1 and1 often1 a considerable amount of collateral and incidental information4 ,the ,life of ,johnson1 by ,boswell1 for instance1 which1 as far as ,i know1 still retains its long-accorded place at the very head of this class of composition 7some critic has recorded his wonder that the best biography in our language should have been written by a fool67 contains a world of information1 respecting the many celebrated contemporaries of that great man1 the peculiarities of social life in ,england1 at his day1 and the general characteristics of elegant literature4 ,so1 of ,lockhart's ,life of ,scott1 and other records of literary life4 ,the lives of such men as ,shelley1 and ,coleridge1 afford an impressive warning to the young--teaching1 better than a professed homily1 how little talents1 unguided by steadfastness of purpose and principle1 avail for usefulness and happiness4 ,the examples of ,lord ,nelson1 ,howard1 ,mungo ,park1 ,robert ,hall1 ,franklin1 and ,washington1 may well be studied1 in detail1 for the lessons they impress upon all4 ,and so1 of many of the brave and the good of our race--,i but name such as passingly occur to me4 ,do not permit newspaper and magazine reading to engross too much of your time1 lest you gradually fall into a sort of mental dissipation1 which will unfit you for more methodical literary pursuits4 ,a cultivated taste in ,literature and ,art1 as1 indeed1 in relation to all the embellishments and enjoyments of life1 is1 properly1 one of the indications1 if not the legitimate result1 of thorough mental education4 ,but1 while you seek1 by every means within your control1 to enlarge the sphere of your perceptions1 and to elevate your standard of intellectual pleasures1 carefully avoid all semblance of conscious superiority1 all dilettanti pretension1 all needless technicalities of artistic language4 ,remember that modesty is always the accompaniment of true merit1 and that the smattering of knowledge1 which the condition of ,art in our infant ,republic alone enables its most devoted disciples to acquire1 ill justifies display and pretension1 in this respect4 ,so1 with regard to matters of literary criticism--enjoy your own opinions1 and seek to base them upon the true principles of art2 but do not inflict crudities and platitudes upon others1 under the impression that1 because of recent acquisition to a tyro in years1 and in learning1 they are likely to strike mature minds with the charm of novelty6 ,thus1 too1 with scientific lore4 ,if ,sir ,isaac ,newton only gathered pebbles on the shore of the limitless ocean of knowledge1 we may well believe that ----,wisdom is a pearl1 with most success ,sought in still water4 ,let me add1 while we are1 incidentally1 upon this matter of personal pretension1 that to observing persons such a manner often indicates internal distrust of one's just claims to one's social position1 while1 on the contrary1 quiet self-possession1 ease and simplicity1 are equally expressive of self-respect and of an entire certainty of the tacit admission of one's rights by others4 ,nothing is more underbred than the habit of taking offense1 or fancying one's self slighted1 on all occasions4 ,it betokens either intense egotism1 or1 as ,i have said1 distrust of your rightful position--that you are embittered by struggling with the world--neither of which suppositions should be betrayed by the bearing of a man of the world4 ,maintain outward serenity1 let the torrent rage as it may within1 and never allow the world to know its power to wound you through your undue sensitiveness6 ,well has the poet asserted that ,truth's a discovery made by travelled minds4 ,no one who can secure the advantage of seeing life and manners in every varying phase1 should fail to add this to the other branches of a polite education4 ,do not imbibe the impression1 however1 that merely going abroad is travelling1 in the just sense of the term4 ,oft has it been my lot to mark1 ,a proud1 conceited1 talking spark1 ,returning from his finished tour1 ,grown ten times perter than before4 ,whatever word you chance to drop1 ,the travelled fool your mouth will stop3-- ',sir1 if my judgment you'll allow1 ,i've seen1 and sure ,i ought to know6' ,so begs you'll pay a due submission1 ,and acquiesce in his decision4 ,send a fool to visit other countries1 and he will return--only a travelled fool6 ,but give a rightly-constituted man opportunities for thus enriching and expanding his intellectual powers1 and he returns to his native land1 especially if he be an ,american1 a better citizen1 a more enlightened1 discriminating companion and friend1 and a more liberal1 useful1 catholic ,christian6 ,some knowledge of modern languages1 especially of the ,french1 has now become an essential part of education4 ,the value of this acquisition1 even for home use1 can scarcely be over-estimated1 and without a familiarity with colloquial ,french1 a man can hardly hope to pass muster abroad4 ,i will1 however1 hazard the general observation that1 as a rule1 it is better to acquire a thorough knowledge of one language 7and of ,french1 pre-eminently1 for practical availability7 than a slight acquaintance with several4 ,few persons1 comparatively1 in our active1 busy land1 have leisure1 at any period of life1 for familiarizing themselves with the literature of more than one language1 besides their own1 and to possess the mere nomenclature of a foreign tongue is but to have the key to information4 ,there is1 of late1 a fashion in this matter1 which has little else to recommend it than that it is the fashion2 and with persons of sense and intelligence there should be some more powerful and satisfactory motive for the devotion of any considerable portion of ,time1 nature's stock4 ,apropos of this1 nothing is more likely to teach a true estimate of the value of time than that perfection of education pronounced by the philosopher of old to be the knowledge that we know nothing6 ,in other words1 they only1 who in some sort discern1 by the light of education1 the vast field that lies unexplored before them1 can have any adequate conception of the care and discrimination with which they should use that treasure of which alone it is 'a virtue to be covetous4' ,nothing1 perhaps1 more unmistakably indicates successful self-culture than the habitual exhibition of ,tact4 ,it may almost be called another sense1 growing out of the proper training of the several faculties of body and mind4 ,and though there is a vast natural difference between persons of similar outward circumstances1 in this respect1 much may be effected by attention and practice1 in the acquisition of this invaluable possession4 ,like self-possession1 tact is one of the essential1 distinctive characteristics of good-breeding--the legitimate expression of natural refinement1 quick perceptions and kindly sympathies4 ,cultivate it1 then1 my young friends1 in common with every elegant embellishment of the true gentleman6 ,do not confound it with dissimulation or hypocrisy1 nor yet regard it as the antagonist of truthfulness1 self-respect and manly dignity4 ,on the contrary1 it is the best safeguard of courtesy1 as well as of sensibility4 ,among useful methods of self-discipline1 let me instance the benefit resulting from the early adoption of a code of private morality1 if you will permit me to coin a phrase1 composed of rules and maxims adapted to your own personal needs and peculiarities of position and mental constitution4 ,washington1 ,i remember1 adopted this practice1 and ,mr4 ,sparks1 or some one of his biographers1 has preserved the record from oblivion4 ,it is many years since ,i came across these rules1 and ,i can no longer recall more than the fixed1 though general1 impression that they embodied much practical wisdom and clearly indicated the patient spirit of self-improvement for which the author was remarkable4 ,i commend them to you as a model4 ,perhaps the immortal biographer who has now given the world a new life of his great namesake1 will afford you the means of satisfying yourselves personally of the correctness of my impressions of them4 ,in preparing this code for yourselves1 ,i can give you no better guide than that afforded by the truth expressively conveyed in the following lines3 ',tis wisely great to talk with our past hours1 ,to ask them what report they bore to ,heaven1 ,and how they might have borne more welcome news4 ,that is a very imperfect conception of education which limits its significance to knowledge gained from books4 ,a profound acquaintance with literary lore is often associated with total ignorance of the actual world1 of the laws that govern our moral and intellectual being1 and with an incapacity to discern the ,beautiful1 the ,true1 the ,good4 ,they only are educated1 who have acquired that self-knowledge and self-discipline which inspire a disinterested love of our fellow-beings1 a reverence for ,truth--in the largest sense of the term--and the power of habitually exalting the higher faculties over the animal propensities of our nature4 ,it is only1 therefore1 when man unites moral discipline with intellectual culture1 that he can be said to be truly educated2 and the most ambitious student of books should always bear in mind the truth that the free play of the intellect is promoted by the development of moral perceptions1 and that mental education1 even1 does not so much consist in loading the memory with facts1 as in strengthening the capacity for independent action--for judging1 comparing1 reflecting4 ,the connection between moral and intellectual culture is often overlooked1 says a celebrated ethical writer1 and the former sacrificed to the latter4 ,the exaltation of talent1 as it is called1 above virtue and religion1 is the curse of the age4 ,education is now chiefly a stimulus to learning1 and thus may acquire power without the principles which alone make it a good4 ,talent is worshipped1 but1 if divorced from rectitude1 it will prove more of a demon than a god4 ,holding the opinion1 then1 that a fixed religious belief is the legitimate result of a thorough cultivation of the mental and moral endowments1 and that their united and co-equal development constitutes education1 you will permit me to impress upon your attention the importance of securing all the aid afforded by the best lights vouchsafed to us1 in the search after ,truth4 ,conscience is a blind guide1 until assisted by discriminating teaching1 and honest1 persevering endeavors at self-enlightenment4 ,for myself1 my experience1 in this respect1 has afforded me no assistance so reliable and efficient as that to be gathered from the ,life of ,jesus ,christ1 as recorded by his various biographers1 and collected in the ,new ,testament4 ,i commend its study1 renewedly1 to you1 not in search of a substantiation of human doctrines1 not to determine the accuracy of particular creeds1 but to possess yourself of simple1 intelligible1 practicable directions for the wise regulation of your daily life1 and those ceaseless efforts at self-advancement which should be the highest purpose of ,a being breathing thoughtful breath1 ,a creature between life and death6 ,accustomed to the standard established by ,him who said1 ,be ye1 therefore1 perfect1 even as ,i am perfect1 we will not be deterred from the steadfast pursuit of right by the imperfect exhibitions1 so frequently made1 of its efficacy1 in the lives of the professed followers of the wonderful ,nazarine4 ,conscious of the difficulties1 the temptations and the discomfitures that we ourselves encounter1 we will learn1 not only to discriminate between the imperfections of the disciple and the perfection of the ,master1 but to exercise that charity toward others1 of which self-examination teaches us the need1 in our own case4 ,thus1 the ,golden ,rule1 which so inclusively epitomizes the moral code of the ,great ,teacher1 will come to be our guide in determining the path of practical duty1 and the course of self-culture1 most essential to the security of present happiness1 and as a preparative for that eternal state of existence1 of which this is but the embryo4 ,thus1 making ,god and conscience--which is the voice of ,god speaking within us--the arbiter between our better nature and the impulses excited by the grosser faculties1 we shall be less tempted by outward influences to lower the abstract standard we originally establish1 or to reconcile ourselves to an imperfect conformity to its requisitions4 ,far less1 will we permit ourselves to indulge the delusion that we are not1 each of us1 personally obligated1 by our moral responsibilities1 to develop all the powers with which we are endowed1 to their utmost capacity3-- ,they build too low who build below the skies6 ,the most perfect of human beings was also the most humble and self-sacrificing1 so that they who endeavor to follow his example will not only be devoid of self-righteous assumption1 but actively devoted to the good of their fellow-creatures1 and1 like ,him1 pityingly sensible of the wants and the woes of humanity4 ,that reverence for the spiritual nature of man1 as a direct emanation from ,deity1 which all should cherish1 is1 also1 to be regarded as a part of judicious self-culture4 ,cultivate an habitual recognition of your celestial attributes1 and strive to elevate your whole being into congenial association with the divinity within you3--this do for the benefit of others1 ,be noble6 and the nobleness that lies ,in other men1 sleeping1 but never dead1 ,will rise1 in majesty1 to meet thine own6 ,with so exalted an aim as ,i have proposed for your adoption1 you will be slow to tolerate peccadilloes1 as of little moment1 either in a metaphysical or ethical point of view4 ,dread such tolerance1 as sapping the foundations of principle2 learn to detect the insidious poison lurking in ,burke's celebrated aphorism1 and in the infidel philosophy that assumes the brightest semblances that genius can invent1 the more readily to deceive4 ,establish fixed principles of benevolence1 justice1 truthfulness1 religious belief1 and adhere steadfastly to them1 despite the allurements of the world1 the temptings of ambition1 or weariness of self-conflict4 ,the ,pursuit of ,happiness is but concentrated phraseology for the purposes and endeavors of every human being4 ,may you early learn to distinguish between the false and the true1 between pleasure and happiness1 early know your duty to yourselves1 your country1 and your ,god6 ,i will but add to these crude1 but heart-engendered1 observations1 a few lines1 embodying my own sentiments1 and in a form much more impressive than ,i can command3-- ,we live in deeds1 not years2 in thoughts1 not breaths2 ,in feelings1 not in figures on a dial4 ,we should count time by heart-throbs4 ,he most lives ,who thinks most1 feels the noblest1 acts the best4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i have somewhere met with a little bagatelle1 somewhat like this3-- ,apollo1 the god of love1 of music1 and of eloquence1 weary of the changeless brilliancy of ,olympus1 determined to descend to earth1 and to secure maintenance and fame1 in the guise of a mortal1 by authorship4 ,accordingly1 the incognito divinity established himself in an attic1 after the usual fashion of the sons of genius1 and commenced inditing a poem--a long epic poem1 plying his pen with the patient industry inspired by necessity1 the best stimulus of human effort4 ,at length1 the task of the god completed1 he1 with great difficulty1 procured the means of offering it to the world in printed form4 ,the ,epic of ,apollo1 the god of ,poetry1 fell1 pre-doomed1 from the press4 ,no commendatory review had been secured1 no fashionable publisher endorsed its merits4 ,disgusted with the pursuit of the wealth and honors of earth1 ,apollo returned to ,olympus1 bequeathing to mortals1 this advice3--,would you secure earthly celebrity and riches1 do not attempt intellectual and moral culture1 but ,,invent ,a ,,pill6 99 99 99 99 99 ,instances of the successful pursuit of knowledge under difficulties frequently present themselves in our contemporaneous history1 both in our own country and in foreign lands4 ,indeed1 the history of the human mind goes far toward proving that1 not the pampered scions of rank and luxury1 but the hardy sons of poverty and toil1 have been1 most frequently1 the benefactors of the race4 ,well has the poet said3-- ,the busy world shoves angrily aside ,the man who stands with arms a-kimbo set1 ,until occasion tell him what to do2 ,and he who waits to have his task marked out1 ,shall die1 and leave his errand unfulfilled4 ,the ,learned ,blacksmith1 as he is popularly called1 acquired thirty1 or more1 different languages1 while daily working at his laborious trade4 ,he was accustomed to study while taking his meals1 and to have an open book placed upon the anvil1 while he worked4 ,a celebrated physiological writer1 alluding to the habits of this persevering devotee of philology1 says1 that nothing but his uninterrupted practice of his ,vulcan-tasks preserved his health under the vast amount of mental labor he imposed upon himself4 ,another of our distinguished countrymen1 now a prominent popular orator1 is said to have accumulated food for future usefulness1 while devoting the energies of the outer man to the employment of a wagoner1 amid the grand scenic influences of the majestic ,alleghanies4 ,the early life of ,franklin1 of the ,mill-boy of the ,slashes1 of ,webster1 and of many others whose names have become watchwords among us1 are1 doubtless1 familiar to you1 as examples in this respect4 99 99 99 99 99 ,looking upon the busy active world around me1--as ,i sometimes like to do--from behind the screen of my newspaper1 seated in the reading-room of a hotel1 ,i became the auditor of the following conversation1 between two young men1 who were stationed near a window1 watching the passing throng of a crowded thoroughfare4 ,by ,george6 there's ,van ,k----1 exclaimed one1 with unusual animation4 ,which one1--where8 eagerly interrogated his companion4 ,that's he1 this side1 with the ,byronic nose1 and short steps--he's great6 ,what a fellow he is for making money1 though6 ,does it by his talents1 don't he8--nobody like him1 in the ,bar of this ,state1 for genius1--that's a fact--carries everything through by the force of genius6 ,dev'lish clever1 no doubt1 assented the other1 but he used to study1 ,i tell you1 like a hero1 when he was younger4 ,never heard that of him1 answered the other youth1 how the deuce could he8 ,he has always been a man about town--real fashionable fellow--practised always1 since he was admitted1 and everybody knows no one dines out1 and goes to parties with more of a rush than ,van ,k----1 and he always has4 ,that may all be1 but my mother1 who has known him well for years1 was telling me1 the other day1 that those who were most charmed with his wit1 and belle-lettre scholarship1 when he first came upon the tapis1 little knew the pains he took to accomplish himself4 ',he exhibited the result1 not the machinery1' she said1 but he did study1 and study hard1 when other young fellows were asleep1 or raising h----6 ,as for that1 interrupted the other1 he always did his full share of all the deviltry going1 or ,i am shrewdly mistaken6 ,nobody surpasses him at that1 any more than at his regular trade1 laughed his companion--oh1 but he's rich6 ,jim ,williams was telling me 7,jim studies with ,s---- and ,van ,k----7 how he put down old ,s---- the other day4 ,it seems ,s---- had been laid on the shelf with a tooth-ache--dev'lish bad--face all swelled up--old fellow real sick1 and no mistake4 ,well1 one morning1 after he'd been gone several days1 he managed to pull up1 and make his appearance at the office4 ,it was early--no one there but ,van ,k---- and the boys--,jim and the rest of the fellows--tearing away at the books and papers4 ,so old ,s---- dropped down in an arm-chair by the stove1 and began a hifalutin description of his sorrows and sufferings while he had been sick--quite in the 'pile on the agony' style6 ,well1 just as the old boy got fairly warmed up1 and was going it smoothly1 ,van ,k---- bawled out3--',y-a-s6 ,mr4 ,s----6 will you have time1 this morning1 to look over these papers1 in the case of ,smith against ,brown8' ,jim said he never saw an old rip so cut down in all his life1 and1 as soon as he went out1 there was a general bust up1 at his expense6 ,how confounded heartless6 exclaimed the elder youth1 rising--by ,heaven1 ,i hope a man needn't set aside the common sympathies and decencies of humanity1 to secure success in his profession1 or in society6 and as he passed me1 ,i caught the flush of manly indignation that mantled his beardless cheek1 and the lightning-flash of youthful genius that enkindled his large blue eyes4 99 99 99 99 99 ,what are you doing there1 sir8 inquired one of the early ,presidents of our ,republic1 of his nephew1 who was standing before an open writing-desk1 in his private apartment4 ,only getting some paper and pencils1 sir1 replied the young man4 ,that stationery1 sir1 belongs to the ,federal ,government6 returned the ,american patriot1 impressively1 and sternly1 and resumed his previous occupation4 99 99 99 99 99 ,daniel ,webster1 in conversation with a familiar friend1 said3 ,from the time that1 at my mother's feet1 or on my father's knees1 ,i first learned to lisp verses from the ,sacred ,writings1 they have been my daily study1 and vigilant contemplation4 ,if there be anything in my style or thoughts worthy to be commended1 the credit is due to my kind parents1 in instilling into my early mind a love for the ,scriptures4 99 99 99 99 99 ,how long will it take you1 inquired ,napoleon1 of the young brother-in-law of ,junot1 to acquaint yourself with the ,coptic language1 and be prepared to go to ,egypt on a secret service8 ,three months1 sire1 replied the energetic ,frenchman1 with scarcely a perceptible pause for consideration4 ,bien6 returned the great ,captain1 begin at once4 ,and he moved on in his briefly-interrupted walk1 through the salon of the beautiful mother of the youth1 saying to the ,turkish ,ambassador1 who accompanied his stroll3--,there is such a son as one might expect from such a mother6 ,three months from that night there left the private cabinet of ,napoleon1 a stripling1 of slight form and yet unsunned brow1 charged by him who knew men by intuition1 with a task of fearful risk and responsibility2 and1 on the morrow1 he was embarked on the blue waters of the ,mediterranean1 speeding toward a land where1 from the heights of the ,pyramids1 a thousand years would behold his deeds6 99 99 99 99 99 ,i swear1 ,i'll cut that woman6 ,i'll never call there again1 that ,i am determined6 cried ,paul ,duncan1 impetuously4 ,but why1 brother8 ,don't judge too hastily1 replied his sister1 gently4 ,the whole family have always been so kind to us2 for my part1 ,i think one seldom meets persons of more polished manners1 and---- ,polished manners6 interrupted the irritable man1 rudely1 what do you call polished manners8 ,i gave up ,r---- himself1 just because he is so devilish un-polished1 long ago4 ,he passed me1 once or twice1 in ,wall-street1 with his head down1 and didn't even bow6 after that ,i let him run6 ,he is so engrossed in his philanthropic schemes that1 ,i suppose1 he really did not see you1 interposed his sister1 mildly4 ,but the ladies are not responsible for his peccadilloes4 ,no1 they cannot answer for their own1 to me1 retorted the other1 with bitterness4 ,when ,i went in1 last evening1 she and her mother were both in the room4 ,the old lady rose1 civilly enough1 but ,mrs4 ,r---- kept her seat1 partly behind a table1 even when ,i went to her and shook hands4 ,dear brother1 expostulated his companion1 don't you know that ,mrs4 ,r---- is not well8 ,she has not been out in months4 ,what the devil1 then1 does she make her appearance for1 if she can't observe the common proprieties of life8 ,i doubt whether you would have seen her1 had she not been in the room when you entered4 ,did she remain during the whole time of your call8 ,certainly2 but the old woman slipped out1 when some bustle appeared to be going on in the hall1 and never made her appearance again1 at all1 only sending in a servant1 just as ,i was going away1 to say that she 'hoped to be excused1 as her father had just arrived4' ,he is very aged1 and she always attends upon him herself1 when he is there1 even to combing his hair1 explained the gentler spirit4 ,i remember admiring her devotion to the old man1 who is very peculiar1 and somewhat disagreeable to persons generally1 when ,i was staying there a day or two4 ,well1 well2 what has that to do with her treatment of me8 ,couldn't she trust him with the rest of the family for a few minutes8 ,there is a tribe of women always on hand there1 besides a retinue of servants4 ,if you will permit me to say so1 without offense1 ,charley1 returned the lady1 with sudden determination of manner1 ,i fear you did not display your usual tact on the occasion1 and that you1 perhaps1 took offense at circumstances resulting from the embarrassment of our friends1 rather than from any intention to be impolite to you4 ,ladies are not always equally well1 equally self-possessed1 equally in company-mood1 or company-dress4 ,i don't know what might not befall any of us1 were we not judged of1 by our friends rather by our general manner to them1 than by any little peculiarities1 of which we may be ourselves wholly unconscious at the time4 99 99 99 99 99 ,if you are as much impressed as ,i was1 upon first perusing them1 with the following sentences from ,sir ,humphrey ,davy's pen1 you will require no apology from me1 for transcribing them here4 ,i envy no quality of mind or intellect in others--not of genius1 power1 wit1 or fancy2 but1 if ,i could choose what would be most delightful1 and1 ,i believe1 most useful1 to me1 ,i should prefer a firm religious belief1 to every other blessing1 for it makes life a discipline of goodness1 creates new hope1 when earthly hopes vanish1 and throws over the decay1 the destruction1 of existence1 the most gorgeous of all light2 awakens life1 even in death1 and1 from decay1 calls up beauty and divinity2 makes an instrument of torture and shame the ladder of ascent to ,paradise2 and1 far above all combination of earthly hopes1 calls up the most delightful visions--palms and amaranths1 the gardens of the blessed1 the security of everlasting joys1 where the sensualist and the skeptic view only gloom1 decay1 and annihilation4 ,with these sublime words1 my dear nephews1 ,i bid you1 affectionately1 ,adieu6 ,,henry ,,lunettes4 ,,letter ,,xii4 ,,choice ,,of ,,companions ,,and ,,friends--,,selection ,,of ,a ,,pursuit ,,in ,,life--,,courtship--,,marriage--,,house keeping--,,pecuniary ,,matters1 ,,etc4 ,,my ,,dear ,,nephews3 ,i think it was ,burke who said that those who desire to improve1 should always choose1 as companions1 persons of more knowledge and virtue than themselves4 ,he had1 however1 the happy faculty of eliciting information from all with whom he came in contact1 even as the bee extracts sweetness from the most insignificant and unattractive flower4 ,it is said of him1 you are aware1 that he never took refuge under a projecting eave for five minutes1 to escape a shower1 with another man1 without either giving or receiving instruction4 ,his excellent habit in this respect1 nevertheless1 in no degree invalidated the practical wisdom of the remark ,i have ascribed to this celebrated statesman4 ,it is not easy to attach too much importance to the choice of ,companions and ,friends1 especially during that period of life when we are most susceptible to outward influences4 ,much enjoyment is derived from association with those whose tastes1 pursuits1 and sentiments are similar to our own2 but1 in making a selection in this respect1 it is better to seek the companionship of persons whose influence will have the effect to elevate rather than to depress our own mental and moral standard4 ,hence1 young persons will be most improved by the example of those whose greater maturity of years and acquirement give them the advantage of experience4 ,byron and others of the morbid school to which he belonged1 or rather1 perhaps1 which he originated1 strove to establish as a truth1 the libellous charge that humanity is incapable of true1 disinterested friendship4 ,happily for the dignity and healthfulness of the youthful mind1 this affected misanthropy1 having had its day1 is dying the natural death to which error is doomed1 and we are again permitted to respect our common nature without wholly renouncing our claims to poetic sensibility6 ,it seems1 to my poor perceptions1 that there needs no better test of the capacities of our fellow-creatures1 with regard to the nobler sentiments1 than our own self-consciousness6 ,if we know ourselves capable of lofty aspirations1 of self-sacrifice for others' good1 of rejoicing in the happiness of our friends1 of deep1 enduring affection for them1 by what arrogant right shall we assume ourselves superior to the race to which we belong8 ,as the man who habitually rails at the gentler sex must1 necessarily1 have been peculiarly unfortunate in his earliest associations with woman1 so he who professes a disbelief in true friendship1 may be presumed1 not only to have chosen his associates unwisely1 but to be himself ill-constituted and ill-disciplined4 ,if ----,,virtue is more than a shade or a sound1 ,and man may her voice1 in this being1 obey1 then is friendship one of the purest and highest sources of human enjoyment6 ,eschew1 then1 the debasing1 soul-restraining maxims of ,byron1 ,rochefoucauld1 and their imitators1 and seek in communion with the gifted and the good1 elevated enjoyment and inspiring incentives to noble purposes and manly achievements4 ,but if the old ,spanish proverb1 ,show me your friends and ,i will tell you what you are1 is applicable to the selection of ordinary associates1 of how much more significance is it in relation to confidants6 ,to require such a friend1 pre-supposes the need of advice1 and only superiority in age and knowledge of the world and of the human heart1 can qualify any one for the responsibility thus assumed4 ,nothing is more frequently volunteered by the inexperienced than advice1 while they who properly appreciate its importance are the least likely to give it unasked4 ,in connection with the subject of confidences and confidants1 ponder well the concentrated wisdom contained in this brief sentence3 ,be careful of whom you speak1 to whom you speak1 and how1 and when1 and where4 ,if from self-consciousness we draw conclusive proofs of the elevated powers of our nature1 we also learn1 with equal certainty1 the need that all have of forbearance1 lenity1 and forgiveness4 ,they who look for perfection in human companions1 will entail upon themselves a life-long solitude of spirit4 ,some one has prettily said that the fault of a friend is like a flaw in a beautiful china vase2 the defect is remediless2 let us overlook it1 and dwell only upon what will give us pleasure4 ,it is almost useless to attempt to give you any advice with respect to the choice of an occupation in life4 ,i trust1 however1 that you need no argument to convince you that respectability and happiness unitedly require1 let your pecuniary circumstances be what they may1 that you should have such an incentive to the due exercise of your powers of body and mind4 ,no consideration is1 perhaps1 more important than that of following the natural inclination in making this decision1 provided outward circumstances render it possible to do so2 and in this country a man may almost always overcome obstacles of this kind1 by patient perseverance4 ,the impression1 formerly so prevalent1 that none but the three learned professions1 as they are called1 require a thorough education1 as a prelude1 is1 ,i must believe1 much less generally entertained1 than when ,i was a young man4 ,and this is as it should be4 ,there can be no human employment that is not facilitated by the aid of a cultivated1 disciplined intellect1 and our young countrymen1 who so frequently make some temporary and lucrative occupation the stepping-stone to advancement1 should always bear this in mind4 ,one day1 ,america1 like ,venice of old1 will be a land of merchant princes--but none will take rank among these self-elevated patricians but they who add the polish1 the refinement and the wealth of intellect1 to the power derived from external circumstances4 ,the ,physical ,sciences and the ,inventive and ,practical ,arts are claiming the attention of our times to a degree never before known2 and these afford new and sufficient avenues for the exercise of talents tending rather to mechanical than to metaphysical exertion4 ,remember1 always1 that a man may give dignity to any honest employment to which he shall devote his energies--and better so1 than to possess no claims to respect except those bestowed by position4 ,as the pursuit of wealth as an end1 rather than a means1 is not the noblest of human purposes1 so mere occupation and external belongings do not determine the real worth of mind or character4 ,i am brother to the ,worker1 ,and ,i love his manly look1 ,as ,i love a thought of beauty1 ,living1 star-like1 in a book4 ,i am brother to the humblest1 ,in the world's red-handed strife1-- ,those who wield the sword of labor1 ,in the battle ranks of life6 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,never let the worker falter1 ,nor his cause--for hope is strong2 ,he shall live a monarch glorious ,in the people's coming throng4 ,there's a sound comes from the future1 ,like the sound of many lays2 ,,freedom strikes her harp for toilers1 ,loud as when the thunder plays6 ,while on this subject1 permit me to call your attention to a matter which1 though of minor importance1 is not unworthy of consideration4 ,men with but little knowledge of the world are apt to betray their occupation by their manner and conversation--to smell of the shop1 as it is often1 somewhat coarsely1 expressed4 ,thus1 an artist will talk habitually of such matters as arrest the peculiar perceptions he has quickened into acuteness by culture1 and even use the technicalities of language which1 though familiar to him1 may be1 and probably are1 unintelligible to persons of general cultivation only4 ,a physician will sometimes go about with a heavy1 ivory-headed cane1 and a grand1 pompous look1 which may1 perchance1 be professional1 but it is not the less absurd1 unless as a means of impressing the vulgar2 and he often falls into the impression that any sacrifice to the ,graces1 or any regard for the weaknesses of humanity1 when in a sick-room1 are entirely beneath his dignity4 ,lawyers will use ,latin phrases1 and legal technicalities1 in the society of ladies1 and the gentlemen of the black cloth not only carry the pulpit into the drawing-room1 but permit themselves to be lionized by devout old women1 and sentimental young ones1 into the best seat in an apartment1 or a carriage1 the tit-bits at table1 and a sum-total of mawkish man-worship4 ,as ,i have said1 all this savors of ignorance of the world1 as it does of latent egotism1 and deficient self-respect4 ,note1 therefore1 the probable effects--when unrestrained by self-scrutiny--of moving in a limited sphere of action1 and always bear in mind that your individual occupations and interests1 though of great personal importance1 are comparatively insignificant in the consideration of others2 that you yourself make1 when viewed from a general stand-point1 but a single unit of the great mass to whom your interests1 purposes1 and merits1 are matters alike of profound indifference and unquestioning ignorance4 ,no man1 says ,jean ,paul1 the only one1 as the ,germans call him1 can live piously or die righteously without a wife2 and one of the most celebrated observers of human nature among our own countrymen1 has bequeathed us the recorded opinion that an early marriage with an amiable and virtuous woman is1 next to a firm religious faith1 the best safeguard to the happiness and principles of a young man4 ,in our prosperous land1 where the means of living are diversified almost equally with the necessities of life1 it is far less hazardous to assume the responsibilities arising from early marriage1 than in other countries4 ,everything is1 in a certain sense1 precocious here4 ,extreme youth is no barrier to independence of effort and position--none to self-reliance and success4 ,it may be questioned whether the tax thus prematurely imposed upon the intellect1 as well as the physique1 does not1 in some degree1 tend1 not only to eventual mediocrity of power1 but to quickened diminution of the vital energies4 ,hence it is1 doubtless1 well to adopt the golden mean in regard to every important step in life4 ,and though ,i would by no means counsel you not to marry until you have accumulated a fortune1 ,i would strenuously advise you to possess yourselves of something like a prospective certainty of maintenance1 and of sound knowledge of human nature and of yourself1 before so far committing your future happiness4 ,one prominent cause of the multitude of unhappy unions1 ,i am persuaded1 is the ignorance of their own true characters with which young persons are so frequently united4 ,wholly immature in body and mind1 when they commence married life1 as they develop1 under the influence of time and circumstance1 they awaken to the discovery of an irreconcilable difference1 not only in taste1 sentiment1 and opinion1 but1 what is worse1 in principle4 ,this is one extreme4 ,on the contrary1 the marriage of persons of decided character1 before habit has rendered it difficult to mould themselves into conformity with the peculiarities from which none are exempt1 is desirable4 ,the sooner those who are to tread the path of life side by side1 learn the assimilation that shall render the way smoother and easier to both1 the greater will be their share of earthly contentment2 and this will be most readily achieved1 no doubt1 while youthful pliancy and adaptability still exist4 ,every discriminating1 self-informed man1 should be the best judge of the essential requisites for domestic happiness1 in his individual case4 ,such an one will not need to be reminded that all abstract or generally-applicable rules must needs be modified1 in many instances1 for personal usefulness4 ,but no one will question the desirableness of health1 good temper1 and education1 in the companion of domestic life4 ,by education1 ,i do not mean an acquaintance with all1 or even with any one1 of what are termed accomplishments4 ,a woman may be well-informed1 and self-disciplined1 to a degree that will render her an admirable wife for a man of sense1 without being able to speak any but her vernacular tongue1 or play upon any instrument1 save that harp of a thousand strings--the ,human ,heart6 ,do not understand me as undervaluing the graceful embellishments of social and domestic life1 as presented by the lovelier part of creation4 ,i wish only to express1 in my plain1 blunt way1 the conviction that the most elegant and varied accomplishments are a very poor equivalent for poverty of the head and heart1 in the woman who is to become the friend and counsellor to whom you will look for enduring1 discriminating affection and sympathy1 as well when the trials1 the cares1 and the sorrows of mortal existence shall lower heavily over you1 as while you mutually dance along amid the flowers and the sunshine of youth4 ,a career of fashionable idleness1 irresponsibility1 and dissipation1 is not a desirable prelude to the systematic routine of quiet duties essential to the home-happiness of a man of moderate resources and retired habits4 ,it may be questioned whether a woman who has been long accustomed to the adulation and the excitement of a crowd1 will be content to find enjoyment1 sufficient and enduring1 in the simple pleasures which alone will be at her command1 thus circumstanced4 ,but1 while even the incentives afforded by all the affection of which such an ephemeral being is capable1 will render conformity to this new position difficult of attainment1 she who is early accustomed to look thoughtfully upon life as beautiful and bright indeed1 but as involving serious responsibilities and solemn obligations1 will bring to a union with one of similar perceptions and principles1 a sense of right and duty1 which1 if strengthened by a commingling of hearts1 will make it no discouraging task to her to begin with her husband where he begins4 ,such an one will be content to tread on at an even pace beside him1 through the roughness that may beset his progress1 cheerfully encountering obstacles1 resolute to conquer or endure1 as the case may be2 and ever fully imbued with that patient1 hopeful1 loving spirit1 whose motto is bear one another's burdens4 ,you will think it more consistent with the caution of an old man1 than the ardor natural to a young one1 that ,i should advise you to pay proper respect to the claims of the relations or guardians of any lady to whom you wish to pay your addresses4 ,i will1 nevertheless1 venture to assert that1 for many reasons1 you will1 in after life1 have reason to congratulate yourself upon pursuing a manly1 open1 honorable course in relation to every feature of this important era in your career4 ,a friendship with a woman considerably older than himself 7if she be married1 it will be all the better7 and especially if he have not older sisters1 or is separated from them1 is of incalculable advantage to a young man1 when based upon true principles of thought and action1--not only in relation to subjects especially pertaining to affairs of the heart1 but respecting a thousand nameless practical matters1 as well as of mental culture1 taste1 sentiment1 and conventional proprieties4 ,such a female friend--matured by the advantages of nature and circumstances--will secure you present enjoyment of an elevated character1 together with constant benefit and improvement1 and expect from you1 in return for the great good she renders you1 only those graceful courtesies and attentions which a man of true good-breeding always regards as equally obligatory and agreeable4 ,let there be1 however1 a certain gravity mingled with the manifestations of regard you exhibit towards all married women1 the dominance of respect in your manner towards them1 and never permit any consideration to induce you to forget the established right of every husband to sanction or not1 at his pleasure1 the most abstractly unexceptionable friendship between his wife and another man4 ,every man with a nice sense of honor1 will indicate1 by his prevailing bearing and language towards women a felt distinction between the intentions of friendship1 and those of a suitor or lover4 ,and while he observes towards all women1 and under all circumstances1 the respectful courtesy due to them1 he will not hesitate to make his purpose intelligible1 where he has conceived sufficient esteem to engender matrimonial intentions4 ,proper self-respect1 as well as the consideration due to a lady and her friends1 demands this4 ,i repeat1 that no degree of devotion to one1 excuses incivility to other female acquaintances in society2 and ,i will add that the most acceptable attentions to a woman of sense and delicacy1 are not those that render her generally conspicuous1 but such as express an ever-present remembrance of her comfort and a quick discernment of her real feelings and wishes4 ,so in the matter of presents1 and similar expressions of politeness1 good taste will dictate no lavish expenditure1 unwarranted by pecuniary resources1 and inconsistent with the general surroundings of either party1 but rather a prevailing harmony that will be really a juster tribute to the object of your regard1 as well as a more creditable proof of your own tact and judgment4 ,all compliments1 whether thus expressed1 or by word of mouth1 should be characterized by delicate discrimination and punctilious respect4 ,it is said that women judge of character by details3 certain it is that what may seem trifles to us1 often sensibly influence their opinions of men4 ,their perceptions are so keen1 their sensibilities so acute1 in comparison with ours1 that we would err materially in estimating them by the same gauge we apply to each other1 and thus the mysteries of the female heart will always remain in a degree insoluble1 even to the acutest masculine penetration4 ,but though the nicest shades of sentiment and feeling may escape our coarser perceptions1 we need no unusual discernment to perceive the effects of kindness1 gentleness1 and forbearance in our domestic relations4 ,i cannot much esteem the man1 ,rowland ,hill remarked1 whose wife1 children1 and servants1 and even the cat and dog1 are not sensibly happier for his presence4 ,depend upon it1 no fabled ,genii could confer on you a talisman so effective as the power bestowed by the enshrinement in your heart of the ,law of ,kindness4 ,in proportion to the delicacy of woman's organization is her susceptibility to such influence1 and he who carelessly outrages the exquisite sensibilities that make the peculiar charm of her nature1 will too often learn1 when the lesson brings with it only the bitterness of experience1 ----how light a cause ,may move dissension between hearts that love4 ,shun1 then1 as you would the introduction into your physical system of an insidious but irradicable poison1 ,the first slight swerving of the heart1 ,that words are powerless to express6 ,but while you seek to illustrate your constant remembrance that you have1 by the act of marriage1 bound yourself to be good-humored1 affable1 discreet1 forgiving1 patient1 and joyful1 with respect to frailties and imperfections to the end of life1 bear in mind1 also1 that your influence over another imposes duties of various kinds upon you1 and that you should use that influence with far-sighted wisdom1 to produce the greatest ultimate good4 ,thus you will be convinced that it is the truest kindness to minister to the intellect and the affections of woman1 rather than to her vanity1 and that in proportion as you assist her to exalt her higher nature into dominance1 will you be rewarded by a spirit-union commensurate to the most exalted necessities of your own4 ,i have known men1 in my time1 who seemed to have a fixed belief that all manifestations of the gentler instincts of humanity are unworthy of the dignity of manhood1 and who1 by habitually repressing all exhibitions of natural emotion1 had apparently succeeded in steeling their hearts1 as well against all softening external impressions as to the inspiration of the still1 sad music of their better selves4 ,all elevated emotions1 whether of an affectionate or religious character1 are too sacred for general observance3 ,when thou prayest1 enter into thy closet and shut the door1 was the direction of our great ,teacher1 and so with the religion of the heart 7if you will permit me the phrase71 it would be desecrated1 were it possible--which from its very nature it is not--to parade its outward tokens to indifferent eyes4 ,and yet ,i return to a prior stand-point and insist that there is a middle-ground1 even here1 the juste milieu1 as the ,french say4--,apropos--the ancient ,romans used the same word to designate family affection and piety4 ,intimately connected with the happiness of domestic life is the due consideration of pecuniary affairs4 ,but1 before we proceed to their discussion1 let me1 as long a somewhat scrutinizing observer of the varying phases of social life1 in our own country especially1 enter my earnest protest against the practice so commonly adopted by newly-married persons1 of boarding1 in place of at once establishing for themselves the distinctive and ennobling prerogatives of ,,home4 ,language and time would alike fail me in an endeavor to set forth the manifold evils inevitably growing out of this fashionable system4 ,take the advice of an old man1 who has tested theories by prolonged experience1 and at once establish your ,penates within four walls1 and under a roof that will1 at times1 exclude all who are not properly denizens of your household1 upon assuming the rights and obligations of married life4 ,do not be deterred from this step by the conviction that you cannot shrine your home-deities upon pedestals of marble4 ,cover their bases with flowers--,god's free gift to all--and the plainest support will suffice for them1 if it be but firm4 ,with right views of the true aims and enjoyments of life1 it will be no impossible achievement to establish your household appointments within the limits of your income1 whatever that may be1 and to entertain the conviction that the duty of providing for possible1 if not probable1 future contingencies1 is imperative with those who have assumed conjugal and paternal responsibilities4 ,firm adherence to such a system of living will bring with it a thousand collateral pleasures and privileges1 and secure the only true independence4 ,nothing is more unworthy than the sacrifice of genuine hospitality1 taste1 and refinement1 to the requisitions of mere fashion1 in such arrangements2 no thraldom so degrading as that imposed by the union of poverty and false pride4 ,what latent egotism1 too1 in the pre-supposed idea that the world at large takes careful cognizance of the individualizing specialities of any man1 save when he trenches on the reserved rights of others4 ,true self-respect1 then1 as well as enlarged perceptions of real life1 will dictate a judicious adjustment of means to desired results1 and teach the willing adoption of safe moderation in all4 ,happily1 comfort and refinement may be secured without ruinous expenditure1 even by the most modest beginners in housekeeping4 ,industry1 ingenuity and taste1 will lend embellishment to the simplest home1 and the young1 at least1 can well afford to dispense with enervating luxury and pretentious display4 ,with due deference to individual taste1 ,i would commend the cultivation and gratification of a love of books and works of art1 in preference to the purchase of costly furniture1 mirrors1 and the like4 ,fine prints 7which are preferable to indifferent paintings7 are now within obtainable reach1 by many who permit themselves few indulgences1 comparatively1 and everything having a tendency to foster the aesthetical perceptions and enjoyments of children1 and to exalt these gratifications into habitual supremacy over the grosser pleasures of sense1 or the exhibitions of vanity1 is worthy of regard4 ,and as no avoidable demands of the outer life should be permitted to diminish the resources of either the heart or the mind1 well-selected books will take high rank among the belongings of a well-appointed house4 ,to sum up all1 my dear friends1 if you aim at rational happiness1 let there be what is artistically termed keeping in your whole system of life4 ,let your style of dress1 your mode of housekeeping1 and entertaining1 your relaxations1 amusements1 occupations1 and resources1 be harmoniously combined4 99 99 99 99 99 ,where and how is the most charming of ,jewesses8 ,i asked one morning of an old friend1 upon whom ,i had been making an unreasonably early call1 rising to go4 ,here1 sir1 and very well1 responded a cheerful voice from an adjoining room4 ,will you not come in a moment8 ,the smiling home-mother opened wide the half-open door through which my queries had been answered1 and seconded her daughter's invitation4 ,there sat my fair young friend1 with a small table before her1 covered with sewing materials1 and a huge overcoat upon her lap4 ,she was in a simple1 neat morning-dress1 and plying the needle with great industry4 ,she apologized for not rising to receive me1 but not for continuing her occupation after ,i seated myself4 ,as busily engaged as ever1 ,i see1 said ,i4 ,rather more so than usual1 just now4 ,fred has come home in a very dilapidated condition4 ,and you are repairing him4 ,but what are you doing with that huge1 bearish-looking coat8 ,it's as much as you can do to lift it1 ,i should judge4 ,oh1 ,i've been putting in new front-facings and sleeve-linings1 and fixing it up a little1 returned she4 ,but1 ,colonel1 do tell me1 have you read ,macaulay's second volume8 ,i replied that ,i had dipped into it1 and added3 ,but1 before we discuss ,macaulay1 ,i want you to tell me how you learned to be so accomplished a tailoress8 ,rebecca can do anything she wishes1 said her mother1 in a soft1 gentle voice1 the heart is a good teacher4 ,thank you1 mother1 rejoined the sweet girl1 ,colonel ,lunettes will make allowance for your natural partiality4 ,i would1 were it necessary1 my dear1 ,i answered1 but ,i can decide for myself in your case4 ,a bow1 a blush1 and a pleasant laugh responded1 and1 rising1 she deposited the heavy garment she had been repairing1 upon the arm of a chair1 and immediately reseating herself1 placed a large basket full of woollen stockings1 at her side1 threaded a stout alderman-like-looking darning needle with thick yarn1 and began to mend a formidable hole in one of the socks4 ,her brother is an engineer1 and ,i divined at a glance1 that those strong1 warm things were1 like the blanket-coat1 part of his outfit for a campaign in the swamps4 ,i am delighted with ,macaulay's elaborate sketches of individuals1 resumed the busy seamstress1 drawing out her long needle and thread1 and returning it with the speed and accuracy of nicely-adjusted machinery2 do you recollect his portraiture of the ,trimmer8 ,it is very fine1 ,i answered1 like everything else ,macaulay has written4 ,nothing1 however1 has impressed me more1 thus far1 in his history1 than his description of the condition of the clergy of the ,established ,church1 in the rural districts1 during the reign of ,james1 and later even4 ,i1 too1 was exceedingly interested in it1 replied ,rebecca4 ,and the more1 that ,i was reminded of the fate of the daughters of ,english country curates1 even at this day2 of 'gentle blude1' many times1 born and educated ladies1 they are subjected1 frequently1 through life1 to toil and suffering that would excuse their envying the fate of a mere kitchen-drudge6 ,they are1 usually1 governesses for life1 and never marry1 continued ,i4 ,never marry--though they are so educated and disciplined1 as to be peculiarly well-fitted for the fulfillment of woman's dearest and highest destiny6 ,thank ,god6 ,i was born where such social thraldom1 such hateful monstrosities1 are not6 ,and the face that turned its glance upward1 for an instant1 with those last fervent words1 was overspread with a glow bright as the crimson hue of sunset4 ,but1 though my friend ,rebecca1 was the last woman in the world to ,die of a rose1 in aromatic pain1 she was a perfect ,sybarite1 in some respects1 as ,i will convince you4 ,entering her mother's tasteful1 pretty drawing-room1 a few evenings after this conversation1 ,i found the charming ,jewess1 as ,i sometimes called her1 in allusion to ,scott's celebrated heroine1 reading by the light of an astral lamp4 ,she was elegantly1 and1 ,i suppose fashionably1 dressed1 and reclining in a large1 luxurious-looking1 stuffed chair1 with her daintily-slippered feet1 half buried in a soft crimson cushion4 ,in short1 she was the very impersonation of the unbought grace of one of ,nature's queens4 ,had ,i been younger1 by some fifty years1 ,i should have been tempted1 beyond a doubt1 to do oriental homage to so much loveliness4 ,by the way1 ,rebecca1 said ,i1 after a few minutes' chat with my hostess1 ,i must tell you of a witticism you elicited1 this morning1 from one of your admirers6 ,one of my admirers6 ,who1 pray8 ,guess6 ,well1 ,i won't tantalize you6--,howard ,parker6 ,you tell me something1 ,colonel6 ,i am not entitled to enter ,mr4 ,parker on my list of friends4 ,what1 what6 that to me1 my dear8 ,i have a great mind to punish you1 by not telling you what he said4 ,as you please1 ,colonel ,lunettes6 with a coquettish toss of her long ringlets4 ,please1 tell me1 ,colonel6 interposed her mother1 smilingly2 don't mind ,rebecca's nonsense--tell me6 ,in a whisper8 ,i inquired1 laughing1 and glancing at the ,jewess4 ,i hardly dare to venture that6 ,well6 meeting ,howard1 who is a great favorite of mine1 in the street1 this morning1 he told me he was coming here1 to call4 ',steel your heart1 then1' said ,i--',or she will steal it6' he answered1 as quick as thought4 ,quite a jeu d'esprit6 exclaimed ,rebecca1 laughing gaily4 ,but1 ,colonel1 ,mr4 ,parker may be witty1 accomplished1 and intellectual1 but he is not a gentleman6 ,my daughter1 you are severe1 said her mother1 deprecatingly4 ,i don't mean to be1 mother2 but-- ,from what do you draw such a sweeping inference1 my child8 ,i inquired4 ,from trifles1 dear sir1 ,i admit2 but ----'trifles make the sum of human things6' and slight peculiarities often indicate character4 ,for instance1 ,mr4 ,parker keeps his hat on1 when he is talking to ladies1 and neglects his teeth and hair--you needn't laugh1 mamma6 ,yesterday morning1 he joined me in the street1 and came home with me1 or1 nearly home2 for he stopped short1 a little way from the house1 let me cross a great mud-puddle1 as well as ,i could1 alone1 and open the gate for myself1 though ,i had my hands full of things4 ,it's true1 he had the grace to color a little1 when ,i said1 significantly1 as he bade me good morning1 that ,i was glad ,i had crossed the ,slough of ,despond1 without accident4 ,that showed that a sensible woman could correct his faults1 ,i remarked4 ,i don't know about that1 replied my hostess4 ,such things1 as ,rebecca says1 indicate character2 and ,i would not advise any young lady to marry a man1 with the expectation of reforming him4 ,not of a cardinal vice1 certainly1 said ,i2 but there are-- ,here a servant interrupted me with--,mr4 ,parker's compliments1 ,miss1 and offered my fastidious young friend a large parcel1 wrapped in a wet1 soiled newspaper1 and tied with dirty red tape4 ,ugh6 exclaimed the ,sybarite1 recoiling1 with unrepressed disgust4 ,what is it1 ,betty8 ,it can't be for me6 ,it is1 ,miss1 an' no mistake--the boy said it got wet in the rain1 widout1 as he was bringing it1 an' no umberrellar wid him4 ,will you just take it into the hall1 and take off the paper1 ,biddy8 ,be careful not to let it get dirty and wet1 inside1 will you8--,with studied nonchalance4 ,presently ,biddy laid down a large1 handsomely-bound volume1 and a note1 before the young lady4 ,it is a copy of ,macaulay's ',lays of ,ancient ,rome1' said she1 skimming over the note4 ,mr4 ,parker was alluding to some passage in one of the poems1 this morning4 ,he says ,i will find it marked and begs me to accept the book1 as a philopoena--oh1 here are the lines--,i thought them very fine as he recited them4 ,shall ,i read them1 mamma8 ,and you1 sir1 will you hear them8 ',then none was for a party2 ,then all were for the state2 ,then the great man helped the poor1 ,and the poor man loved the great2 ,then lands were fairly portioned2 ,then spoils were fairly sold3 ,the ,romans were like brothers1 ,in the brave days of old4' ,the enthusiasm with which the appreciating reader read this spirited passage1 did not prevent my observing that she held her handkerchief closely pressed upon the back of the exquisite antique binding of the volume1 in the hope1 as ,i inferred1 of drying the stain of wet which ,i noticed1 at once attracted her attention when she took up the gift4 ,the open note1 as it lay upon the table1 disclosed a torn1 ragged edge1 as if it had been carelessly severed from a sheet of foolscap4 ,whatever her reflections1 the young lady had too much instinctive delicacy to comment upon these peccadilloes1 and so1 of course1 ,i could institute no defense of my friend4 ,i1 therefore1 tacked1 as a sailor would say4 ,howard's a noble fellow1 said ,i1 in spite of his little oddities1 but he has one fault1 unfortunately1 which ,i fear will prevent his winning much favor with the ladies4 ,what is that8 inquired my young auditor1 in a tone of seeming indifference1 but with a heightened color1 and an eager glance4 ,he is poor6 ,do you mean that he lives by his wits1 as the phrase is8 asked my hostess4 ,by no means6 simply this3--,parker began the world without a dollar1 and has had1 thus far1 to 'paddle his own canoe1' as he expresses it1 against wind and tide4 ,that is quite the best thing ,i ever knew of him6 exclaimed ,rebecca1 with animation4 ,it does him great credit1 in my estimation6 ,but1 ,colonel1 ,i cannot agree with you in thinking ,mr4 ,parker1 poor6 ,no8 ,no1 indeed6 in my regard1 no man in our country is poor1 who possesses health1 education1 and an unblemished reputation6 99 99 99 99 99 ,in the library of the only representative of the ,british government in this country--and he was the lineal representative1 as well1 of one of the oldest1 wealthiest and most aristocratic of noble ,english families--whose guest ,i remember to have been1 ,i found great numbers of books1 which he had brought with him from home1 but they were arranged upon simple1 unpainted pine shelves1 put up for convenience1 while the owner should remain at ,washington4 ,he brought his books1 because he wanted them for constant use--but1 though accustomed to the utmost luxuriousness of appointment at home1 he did not dream of bringing furniture across the ,atlantic1 or of apologizing for the absence of more than was demanded by necessity in his temporary residence4 ,i remember1 too1 to have heard it said that one of the recent governors of the ,empire ,state had not a single article of mahogany furniture in his house at ,albany2 and yet1 nobody complained of any want of hospitality or courtesy on his part1 while making this discovery4 ,the simple fact was1 that1 being without private fortune1 and the salary of his office insufficient for such expenditures1 he could not afford it--and no man1 ,i believe1 is bound to run in debt1 to gratify either the expectations or the vanity of his political constituents4 ,as a contrast to these anecdotes1 how does the following incident impress you8 ,walking down ,broadway1 in ,new ,york1 one bright morning with a distinguished ,american statesman1 he suddenly came to a full halt before a show-window in which glittered1 among minor matters1 a superb candelabra1 in all the glory of gilding and pendants4 ,that's a very handsome affair1 ,lunettes1 said my companion2 let us step in here a moment4 ,we entered accordingly4 ,a salesman came forward4 ,what is the price of that candelabra1 in the window8 inquired the statesman4 ,six hundred dollars1 replied the young man4 ,pack it up and send it to ,m----1 replied my friend1 turning to go4 ,and the bill1 sir8 ,you may send the bill to me--to ,d---- ,w----1 at ,washington4 ,i happened to know that the great man had1 only within a day or two1 been released1 by the generosity of several of his personal friends1 from an embargo upon his movements that would otherwise have prevented his eloquent thunder from being heard in the ,national ,senate6 99 99 99 99 99 ,the massive head and stately bearing of ,john ,marshall always rise before my mind's eye1 when ,i recall this characteristic illustration of his native manliness3 ,the ,chief ,justice was in the habit of going to market himself1 and carrying home his purchases4 ,he might frequently be seen at sunrise1 with poultry in one hand and vegetables in the other4 ,on one of these occasions1 a young ,northerner1 who had recently removed to ,richmond1 and thus become a fellow-townsman of the great ,virginian1 was heard loudly complaining that no one could be found to carry home his turkey4 ,the ,chief ,justice1 who was unknown to the new-comer1 advancing1 inquired where the stranger lived and on being informed1 said1 very quietly--,that is on my way2 ,i will take it for you2 and receiving the turkey1 walked briskly away4 ,when he reached the house that had been designated1 ,marshall awaited the arrival of the owner1 and delivered up his burden4 ,what shall ,i pay you8 inquired the youth4 ,nothing1 whatever1 replied the biographer of ,washington1 it was all in my way1 and not the slightest trouble--you are welcome2 and he pursued his course4 ,who is that polite old man8 asked the young stranger of a by-stander4 ,he was answered--,that is ,john ,marshall1 ,chief ,justice of the ,united ,states4 ,i well remember1 too1 how often ,i used to join my old friend1 ,chief ,justice ,spencer1 of ,new ,york1 as he climbed the long hill leading to his residence1 at ,albany1 with a load of poultry in his hand4 ,and ,i dare say his great-hearted brother-in-law1 ,de ,witt ,clinton1 often did the same thing4 ,certain ,i am1 that he was the most unostentatious of human beings1 as simple and natural as a boy1 to the end of his days4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i have the vanity to believe that you will not have forgotten the little sketch ,i gave you1 in a previous letter1 of my interesting young friend ,julia ,peters4 ,not long after my brief acquaintance with her--that is1 within a year--,i received a newspaper neatly inclosed1 and sealed with a fanciful device1 in prettily-tinted wax1 which being interpreted for me by a fair adept in such matters1 was said to read--,love1 or ,cupid1 carrying a budget to you from me4 ,the following paragraph was carefully marked3 ,,married3--,in the ,church of the ,holy ,innocents1 in this village1 on ,tuesday1 ,may #abth1 by the ,rev4 ,b---- ,y----1 ,st4 ,john ,benton and ,julia ,a4 ,peters1 daughter of the late ,fitz-,james ,peters1 ,esq41 of ,princeton1 ,n4 ,j4 ,then followed this sentence1 in large characters3 ,,the ,,printer ,,and ,,the ',,carrier' ,,acknowledge ,a ,,bountiful ,,receipt ,,of ,,superb ,,wedding-,,cake4- - - ,may every blessing attend the happy pair6 ,i1 too1 had my share of the wedding-cake1 accompanied by very tasteful1 simple cards1 as well as a previous invitation to the wedding1 written jointly by ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,y----1 and in terms most flatteringly cordial1 and complimentary4 ,mrs4 ,y---- and ,i had1 by this time1 exchanged letters more than once4 ,i will give you1 as a specimen of the agreeable epistolary style of my fair friend1 the following communication1 which reached me some two or three months after the marriage of her sister4 ,,rectory1 ----1 ,aug4 #bb;d1 ----4 ,,dear ,,col4 ,,lunettes3-- ,i avail myself of my very first leisure to comply with the request contained in your most kind and acceptable letter of last week4 ,whether your amiable politeness does not overrate my capacity to write a 'true woman's letter--full of little significant details and particularities1' remains to be seen4 ,i will do my best1 at least1 and 'naught extenuate1 nor set down aught in malice4' ,i hardly know where to begin1 in answer to your query about the 'possibility of the most economical young people managing to live on so small an income4' ,the truth is1 ,julia and ,i1 thanks to a judicious mother1 were practically educated1 which makes all the difference in the world in a woman's capacity to 'make the worse appear the better reason' in matters of domestic management4 ,the house they live in is their own4 ,mr4 ,benton1 fortunately1 possessed the means of fully paying for it 7he was entirely frank with ,mr4 ,y---- about all these matters1 from the beginning7 and ,julia was able to furnish it simply1 though comfortably4 ,it is a small establishment1 to be sure1--a little house and a little garden1 but it is their own1 and that gives it a charm which it would not otherwise possess4 ,they feel that they will have the benefit of such improvements as they may make1 and it is wonderful what an effect this consciousness produces4 ,the house was a plain1 bald-looking building enough1 when ,fitz-,james bought it4 ,julia said it would be a bold poetic license to call it a cottage6--but he has studied architecture1 at intervals1 as he has had time1 with a view to future advancement1 and so he devised1 and partly constructed1 tasteful little ornaments to surmount the windows1 and a very pretty rustic porch in front4 ,the effect was really almost magical when united with the soft1 warm color that took the place of the glaring white of which every one is becoming so tired4 ,it is quite picturesque1 ,i assure you1 now4 ,as a romantic young lady said of it--'it is like the cottages we read of1--quite a picture-place4' ,but1 pretty and tasteful as it is outside1 one must become an inmate of ,julia's little ,eden1 to know half its claims to admiration4 ,it is just the neatest1 snuggest1 cosiest little nest 7by the way they call it ',cosey ,cottage1' as you will please remember when you write1 dear sir7 you can imagine4 ,there is nothing grand1 or even elegant1 perhaps1 but every part is thoroughly furnished for convenience and comfort1 and everything corresponds4 ,it is not like some city houses ,i have been in1 where everything was expended in glare and display in the two parlors--'unwisely kept for show1' and up-stairs and in the kitchen1 the most scanty1 comfortless arrangements4 ,julia's carpets and curtains are quite inexpensive1 but the colors are well chosen for harmony of effect4 7,julia rather prides herself upon having things artistic1 as she expresses it1 even to the looping up of a curtain47 ,there is a sort of indescribable expression about the little parlor1 which1 by the way1 they really use1 daily--her friends say--',how much this is like ,julia6' ,some of ,julia's crayon heads1 and a sketch or two of ,mr4 ,benton's are hung in the different rooms1 and they have contrived1 or rather imitated1 7for ,i believe ,st4 ,john said it was a ,french idea7 the prettiest little brackets1 which are disposed about the walls and corners of the parlor4 ,they are only rough things that her husband makes up1 covered by ,julia1 with some dark material1 and ornamented with fringe1 costing almost nothing1 but so pretty in effect for supporting vases of flowers or little figures1 or something of that kind4 ,then there is a tiny place1 opening from the parlor1 dignified with the name of library1 where ,julia and ,benton 'draped1' and 'adjusted1' and re-draped1 and re-adjusted1 to their infinite enjoyment and content1 and somewhat to my amusement1 ,i will confess to you1 dear sir4 ,indeed they trot in harness1 to borrow one of ,st4 ,john's phrases1--most thoroughly matched1 as well as mated1 and go best together4 ,they think so1 at least1 ,i should infer1 as they always are together1 if possible4 ,julia helps ,benton in the garden--holds the trees and shrubs while he places them1 and ties up the creeping-roses1 and other things he arranges over the porch1 and around the windows1 and assists him with the lighter work of manufacturing rustic seats and stands1 and baskets for the garden and summer-house2 and ,benton 7who has quite a set of tools7 puts up shelves and various contrivances of that sort1 and did help to lay the carpets1 etc41 ,julia told me4 ,indeed1 while ,i was with them1 ,mr4 ,benton's daily life constantly reminded me of the beautiful injunction--',let every man show1 by his kind acts and good deeds1 how much of ,heaven he has in him4' ,but ,i only tire you1 dear sir1 by my poor attempts to portray my sister's simple happiness--you must see it for yourself6 ,i make no apology for the minuteness of my details1--if they seem puerile1 ,colonel ,lunettes has himself to thank for my frankness1 but ,i have yet to learn that my valued friend says1 or writes1 what he does not mean4 ,i have left to the last--because so pleasant a theme1--some reference to ,julia's pride and delight in your beautiful bridal-gift to her4 ,she has1 no doubt1 long since1 written to thank you2 but ,i cannot deny myself the gratification of telling you how much she values and enjoys it1--from my own observation4 ,it is really noticeable too1 how exactly it suits with all the other table appointments she has--7unless perhaps it is a shade too handsome7 only another proof of ,colonel ,lunettes' fine taste6 ,mr4 ,y----1 to tease ,julia1 asked her one evening1 when she was indulging in a repetition of her usual eulogy upon the gift and the giver1 whether she really meant to say that she preferred a china tea-pot1 sugar-bowl1 and cream-cup1 to silver ones4 ',indeed ,i do1' said she1 'a silver tea-service for me1 would be sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought6 ,it would not suit my style at all4' ,julia says she shall never be perfectly happy until she makes tea for ,colonel ,lunettes1 from her beautiful china1 and ,mr4 ,benton says ,colonel ,lunettes is the only man in the world of whom he is jealous6 ,upon this1 there always follows a gentle 7very gentle7 twitching of ,st4 ,john's whiskers1 of which1 ,i will add1 by way of a description of the personnel of the young man1 he has a pair as black and curling as ,mr4 ,y----'s1--indeed1 ,i must concede that ,julia's husband is almost as handsome as my own6 ,we are all eagerly anticipating the fulfillment of your promise to visit our beautiful valley1 while robed in the gorgeous hues of ,autumn4 ,mr4 ,y---- and ,i1 are arranging everything with reference to so agreeable an event2--',we will go there1 or see that1' we say1 'when ,colonel ,lunettes comes4' ,julia1 too1 is looking forward1 with much pleasure1 to welcoming so coveted a guest4 ',i hope we shall be able to make the ,colonel comfortable1 in our quiet way1' she always says1 when speaking of your promised visit2 'you1 and ,mr4 ,y----1 are so used to have the bishop1 and other celebrities1 that you don't know anything about being nervous1 at such times2 but poor me--just beginning1 and such a novice6' ,upon this1 her husband always appeals to me1 to say whether ,i have nicer things to eat1 anywhere1 'even at home1' and whether any sensible man could not content himself1 even in such a 'little box1' for a few days1 at least2 especially1 when well assured how happy and honored a certain young lady will be1 on the occasion4 ,and ,i must say1 for ,julia1 that her versatile powers are fully illustrated in her housekeeping4 ,mr4 ,y---- declares that nobody but his wife can make such bread--a perfect cure for dyspepsia6 and1 as for the pumpkin-pies6--well1 upon the whole1 he has decided that we ought to spend ,thanksgiving at ',cosey ,cottage4' ,i have omitted to mention that1 at ,julia's earnest instance1 we left her little namesake--',colonel ,lunettes' pet1' as she delights to call herself--with her1 when we were there4 ,i hardly knew how to give her up1 though but for a few weeks1 even to her aunt4 ,just before we came away1 ,i said to her1 ',i hope ,aunt ,julia1 and ,uncle ,st4 ,john1 won't spoil you1 my darling2 your aunt has promised to scold you1 when you are naughty4' ',oh1 but 'ou see1 mamma1 ,i don't never mean to be naughty1' she answered1 almost stopping my breath with her little chubby arms clinging about my neck4 ,persuaded1 dear sir1 that you will have 'supped your full1' even to repletion1 of a 'true woman's letter1' ,i will only add to ,mr4 ,y----'s kindest remembrances and regards1 the sincere assurance that ,i am1 as ever1 ,your attached and grateful ,,cecilia ,d4 ,y----4 ,,col4 ,,henry ,,lunettes4 ,and now1 my dear nephews1 that the blessing of ,heaven may rest upon you1 always1 in ,life's earnest toil and endeavor1 is the affectionate and heartfelt prayer and farewell of your ,,uncle ,,hal4 ,,the ,,end4 ,transcriber's ,note ,i have used to denote use of underlined text4 ,inconsistencies have been retained in formatting1 spelling1 hyphenation1 punctuation1 and grammar1 except where indicated in the list below3 - ,period added after sermon on ,page vii - ,,pate changed to ,,pate on ,page x - ,aquaintances changed to ,acquaintances on ,page xiv - ,period changed to a comma after ,regard on ,page xv - ,period changed to a comma after ,tribute on ,page xv - ,dash added after etc4 on ,page xvi - ,dash added after ,importance on ,page xviii - ,period changed to a comma after ,society on ,page xvix - ,period changed to a comma after ,bouche on ,page xvix - ,period changed to a comma after ,relaxation on ,page xvix - ,period changed to a comma after ,remorse on ,page xvix - ,period changed to a comma after ,pathos on ,page xvix - ,period changed to a comma after ,wit on ,page xvix - ,period changed to a comma after ,drawing-room on ,page xvix - ,period changed to a comma after ,intellect on ,page xvix - ,comma moved from mid-line to immedately after ,discussion on ,page xvix - ,period changed to a comma after ,bagatelle on ,page xvix - ,period changed to a comma after ,epicureanism on ,page xvix - ,period changed to a comma after ,sketch on ,page xvix - ,,onathan changed to ,,jonathan_/sc on ,page xxi - compatable changed to compatible on ,page xxiii - s changed to his on ,page #de - eminated changed to emanated on ,page #dg - ,double quotes changed to single quotes around ,kossuth1 on ,page #ec - pate changed to pate on ,page #fb - singlarly changed to singularly on ,page #ff - self control changed to self-control on ,page #gh - ,period added after her on ,page #hf - ,quote added before ,i on ,page #hg - ,johnathan changed to ,jonathan on ,page #hi - ,single rather than double quotes used around and here1 on ,page #hi - ,double quotes changed to single quotes before ,i and after madame1 on ,page #ij - ,double quotes changed to single quotes before that and after you8 on ,page #ij - ,double quote added before ,the on ,page #ij - ,double quote added before ,before on ,page #ij - ,double quote added before ,the on ,page #ij - ,double quote added before ,you and double quotes before ,you and after madame8 changed to single quotes on ,page #ij - ,double quote added before ,and and double quotes before ,and and after com-for-ta-ble8 changed to single quotes on ,page #ij - ,double quote added before ,no on ,page #ij - ,double quote added before ,bien and after please6' and spoken text placed within single quotes on ,page #ij - ,quote removed after you8 on ,page #aje - nur sery changed to nursery on 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appearace changed to appearance on ,page #bch - ,never sink changed to ,neversink on ,page - ,quote added after daughter1 on ,page #beb - ,quote added after ,simpson1 on ,page #bec - place changed to placed on ,page #beg - ,period added after ,mrs on ,page #bfb - ceremoneous changed to ceremonious on ,page #bfc - st4 changed to ,st4 on ,page #bfd - ,you are now my enemy1 and ,i am indented for ease of reading on ,page #bfg - ,comma removed after and on ,page #bgj - ,mis changed to ,miss on ,page #bha - sol dier changed to soldier on ,page #bhb - ,comma removed after sketching on ,page #bhg - ,double quote removed at end of paragraph on ,page #cad - ,double quote added before ,this on ,page #cad - ,single quote changed to a double quote before ,i on ,page #cad - ,comma removed before us on ,page #cai - th changed to the on ,page #cbe - strengthed changed to strengthened on ,page #ccc - un comfortable changed to uncomfortable on ,page #ccd - ,period added after fatigue on ,page #cci - and-that changed to and that on ,page #cfa - wan't changed to want on ,page #cfd - ,quote removed before ,oh on ,page #cfg - ,single quote changed to double quote after them6 on ,page #cfh - twitter ing changed to twittering on ,page #cfh - to added after happened on ,page #cgb - ,period added after friend on ,page #cge - ,comma changed to a period after us on ,page #cgi - duced changed to deuced on ,page #chg - ,kiss changed to ,miss on ,page #cie - ,quote removed before ,as on ,page #djc - pretiest changed to prettiest on ,page #dji - acknowleded changed to acknowledged on ,page #dad - a added after like on ,page #dag - ,single quote changed to a double quote at end of paragraph on ,page #dbb - ,period added after ,lunettes on ,page #dbb - dessultory changed to desultory on ,page #dbc - intelleclectual changed to intellectual on ,page #dbd - ,period changed to comma after ,howard on ,page #dbh - ,educacation changed to ,education on ,page #dcd - de voted changed to devoted on ,page #dcg - stationary changed to stationery on ,page #ddb - inter posed changed to interposed on ,page #ddd - ,period added after months on ,page #dde - ,period added after be on ,page #dej - stand point changed to stand-point on ,page #dfj - ,period added after friends on ,page #dff - glancind changed to glancing on ,page #dfg - ,period added after lady on ,page #dfh - ,comma changed to a period after animation on ,page #dgj - ,extra space added before and after this paragraph on ,page #dgd - ,fitz ,james changed to ,fitz-,james on ,page #dge - ,period removed after migical on ,page #dge - ,period removed after ,benton's on ,page #dgf - ,double quote added before ,cecilia on ,page #dgf - ,double quote removed after ,y---- on ,page #dhj