,,memoirs ,,of ,mrs4 ,rebecca ,steward1 ,,containing3 ,a ,,full ,,sketch ,,of ,,her ,,life1 ,,with ,,various ,,selections ,,from ,,her ,,writings ,,and ,,letters2 ,,also ,,contributions ,,from ,,bishop ,,campbell1 ,d4,d41 ,,prof4 ,b4 ,f4 ,,lee1 ,,of ,,wilberforce ,,university1 ,b4 ,t4 ,,tanner1 ,d4,d41 ,,editor ,,of ,,the ,christian ,recorder1 ,,rev4 ,t4 ,,gould1 ,,mrs4 ,,elizabeth ,,lloyd1 ,,and ,,wm4 ,,steward1 ,,by ,,rev4 ,t4 ,g4 ,,steward4 ,the motto ,i taught my boys was ,aim at the ,sun6 ,if you do not bring it down1 you will shoot higher than if you had aimed at the earth4--,,rebecca ,,steward4 ,her children shall rise up and call her blessed4 ,,published ,,at ,,the ,publication ,department of the ,a4 ,m4 ,e4 ,church1 ,no4 #fca ,pine ,st41 ,philadelphia1 ,pa4 #ahgg4 ,copyright1 #ahgg1 by ,rev4 ,t4 ,g4 ,steward4 ,to ,,daniel ,a4 ,,payne1 ,d4,d41 ,senior ,bishop of the ,african ,methodist ,episcopal ,church3 ,,in ,,recognition ,,of ,,his ,,learning1 ,,talents ,,and ,,piety3 ,,and ,,as ,a ,,testimonial ,,to ,,his ,,high ,,appreciation ,,of ,,female ,,excellence1 ,,this ,,little ,,volume ,,is ,,affectionately ,,inscribed4 ,,the ,,author4 ,,contents4 ,introduction1 ,in ,memoriam1 ,poem1 ,,part ,i4 ,,chapter ,i4--,ancestory and ,parents1 ,,chapter ,,ii4--,birth1 ,home1 etc41 ,,chapter ,,iii4--,wife1 ,mother1 ,writer1 ,,chapter ,,iv4--,children all married1 ,,chapter ,v4--,retrospection1 ,reminiscences1 by ,bishop ,campbell1 ,my ,recollections1--,prof4 ,b4 ,f4 ,lee1 ,mrs4 ,rebecca ,steward1 by ,dr4 ,tanner1 ,mrs4 ,rebecca ,steward1 by ,rev4 ,t4 ,gould1 ,aunt ,rebecca ,steward1--,mrs4 ,e4 ,lloyd1 ,,part ,,ii4 ,two years on the ,brink of ,jordan1 ,sanctification1 by ,mrs4 ,r4 ,s41 conclusion ,story1 ,poetry1 ,,introduction ,a life finished1 is a proper subject for contemplation and study4 ,to the ,christian1 whose eye is ever turning to the end of life1 nothing can be more interesting than the life and death of the saints4 ,it is never difficult to secure a large congregation to the funeral services of a well known ,christian4 ,in looking upon a life closed1 from a ,christian standpoint1 we see the ,divine and the human blended4 ,we see human nature moulded by divinely cast circumstances2 we see character developed and displayed through these occasional circumstances4 ,the hidden man of the heart is brought out1 and we are able to see the inner through the outer life4 ,to this pleasant and profitable study1 the reader of these pages is invited4 ,he will be brought in contact with a life1 humble and perhaps commonplace1 but interesting at every step1 because always earnest and real4 ,he is invited to follow that life through a responsible1 laborious and thorny pathway2 and to see manifest1 a character always glowing in brightness and stronger than any emergency4 ,he may learn the secret of that brightness and strength if he will4 ,it is not of man but of ,god4 ,he may hear a faith express itself before great difficulties 7as ,i have often times7 in these words3 ,who art thou ,o great mountain8 before ,zerubbabel1 thou shalt become a plain4 ,zech4 ,,iv4 #g4 ,and1 if his eyes are cleared to see the things of ,god1 as were those of ,elisha's servant1 as he and his master stood in the midst of the ,syrian hosts at ,dothan1 he will see1 not the mountains round about full of horses and chariots of fire2 but a heavenly light streaming down upon the toiler1 and a crown of resplendent glory held in her full view2--an angelic hand guiding her as she slowly pursues her way1 sometimes weeping but often singing1 through the inspiration of the hope set before her4 ,in presenting a sketch of this life ,i attempt to fulfill a threefold duty4 ,first1 it is an act of obedience to the feelings of my own heart4 ,an imperious sentiment forces me to the task4 ,this book is the tribute ,i bring to cast upon the tomb of a loved mother6 ,secondly1 ,i essay to discharge this duty in obedience to the wish of many relatives and dear friends4 ,i feel myself honored in a very high degree in being thus called to so delicate a responsibility1 and ,i can but deeply feel my inabilities4 ,knowing1 however1 their sincere regard for the person whose name ,i endeavor to commemorate1 ,i feel somewhat encouraged to entrust to their generosity my best efforts4 ,lastly1 the interests of ,christianity seem to demand this at my hands4 ,a voice from above which ,i regard as that of the ,master urges me to lay before the ,christian world this life1 as a help and solace to the many struggling ones4 ,reverently bowing to this call1 and imploring ,his blessings upon the humble effort1 ,i assume the pen4 ,may the ,lord own the work6 ,and here ,i desire also to express my profound thanks to those distinguished ,christians1 who have contributed most essentially to this volume1 and to the many more1 whose letters of sympathy and love have furnished inspiration to the performance of this sad1 yet pleasing duty4 ,t4 ,g4 ,s4 ,in ,memoriam4 ,,by ,,william ,,steward 7,,will47 ,they are love's last gifts1 bring ye flowers1 pale flowers4--,,mrs4 ,,hemans4 ,i stand alone beside the silent mound1 ,the dull1 cold earth beneath me1 and the sky ,dark blue o'er head4--,the spacious hills around ,nor charms the gaze of my grief wearied eye2 ,sad1 tired1 forlorn1 ,i sink upon the sod1 ,with rev'rent awe and mournful bareed head1 ,i try to raise my thoughts to mother's ,god1 ,and with affection contemplate the dead4 ,i am a boy again--a lisping child1 ,with sunny face and merry prattling tongue2 ,i totter forth with joyous fancy wild1 ,and sing the lullaby we last night sung2 ,my young heart bounds with radiant happiness ,as some new toy my angel-mother gives1 ,or stoops to pat my head with sweet caress1 ,and my glad lips her cherished kiss receives4 ,now ,i am grown to boyhoods first estate2 ,and thorns of life 'gin prick me one by one1-- ,now aspiration's hopes1 my thoughts elate1 ,and now by disappointments am cast down2 ,the daily avocations of the farm ,bring each in turn their elements of woe1 ,but mother's heart1 its beatings always warm1 ,is a sure haven where ,i ever go4 ,th' unruly horse my youthful strength o'erpowers1 ,or vicious cattle wear my patience bare1 ,each is recounted of in evening hours1 ,in boyhood's confidence in mother's ear1-- ,ah6 we six childish ones with each our cares-- ,bespeak we each ones place1 in mother's heart1 ,where we each pour our trouble1 hopes and fears1 ,and mother1 tenderly takes each one's part4 ,and at th' appointed hour the father comes2 ,his day's work o'er1 prompt1 day and day the same1 ,then happiest ours of all the happy homes ,our lessons coning1 or with sportive game1-- ,oh would those days of childhood linger still-- ,the ev'ning game prolong--e'en daily task ,is welcomed linger6 youthful years ye will ,be vanished and your stay in vain we ask6 ,too soon with quickning steps the eager days ,bring manhood's strength--our childhood all outgrown ,and then for life we take our sep'rate ways1 ,each son and daughter choose a course their own2 ,too soon1 alas6 the shadowy curtain falls ,and sorrows1 real1 begin to cast their gloam1 ,our consciences' tickle with increasing galls ,as each new silv'ry hair comes to our home4 ,dear cherished ones1 thy load we now wish lighter1 ,since we are grown1 and see thy waning years1 ,thy daily walks we would see fair and brighter1 ,but ev'ry effort still augments thy cares2 ,affliction's hand1 spares not the burdened mother1 ,but suff'rings1 long1 great1 are thy constant lot2 ,nor stintless hand divides it with another ,who'd die for thee and for thee be forgot4 ,grown1 stalwart boys and buxome girls we all are ,and fain would bring renown to thy dear name-- ,pride to thy heart1 and comfort to thy leisure ,by some good noble deeds1 and worthy fame1 ,alas1 how short we've come6 ,when thou complaisant ,looked on expectant for some virtuous act1 ,how ,self appeared like some fierce tigress couchant1 ,and we with evil motive seemed impact6 ,and thou art gone6 ,well do ,i remember ,our childhood's days again--,i'd live them o'er-- ,when chilly blasts of sleeting1 bleak ,december ,kept us1 long ev'nings1 close within the door1 ,we stories begged and then some ,bible tale-- ,of ,david's valor1 or ,saul's treachery ,of ,moses meekness or ,methus'lah hale-- ,of ,abraham's faith or ,esau's jealousy4 ,of ,enoch's constancy in serving ,god1 ,of ,joseph1 sold a slave2 of ,egypt's kings1 ,of ,pharaoh's plagues1 and ,moses' wond'rous rod1 ,and of the ,psalms which ev'ry ,christian sings1 ,of ,john the ,baptist1 ,christ the living ,word ,which was made flesh1 and came and dwelt with men1 ,who was1 and is1 and shall be1 ,god the ,lord2 ,of ,his disciples1 ,holy ones1 and then ,the ,revelation1 and the last ,great ,day1 ,each in its turn1 in loving tones1 was given ,and thus our mother thought to point the way ,with truthful finger1 to the gates of ,heaven2 ,the great ,old ,bible then across her knee ,was tender laid1--,i see her sparkling eye1-- ,with trem'lous voice she read the ,verily ,and hushed1 we listen'd1 'till no eye was dry4 ,then1 kneeling1 when the ,word had well been read ,in very confidence she talked with ,god1 ,and then with happy tears we went to bed1 ,now ,mother lies beneath the silent sod6 ,and thus1 when father was away at toil ,in fact'ry's buzz1 his cherished ones to keep1 ,giving his strength for them1 in hot turmoil1 ,we1 his dear ones1 were wrapped in blissful sleep4 ,but she is gone6 we've laid her down to rest ,in a soft bed of satin1 white and pure ,we spread her o'er white rose buds on her breast1 ,and bade her soul1 waft to the better shore6 ,where mansions fair unnumbered stand prepared ,for her and hers--her ,lord had told her so ,his ,fathers house1 to her he said1 was shared ,by those who loved as she had loved below4 ,and would ,i grieve8 ,yes1 many a poisoned dart ,have ,i with wilful hand flung straight at thee1 ,yet stood aghast1 when it did prick thy heart1 ,i mourn in silence1 now--thou'rt gone from me2 ,father1 and we1 the six yet still are here ,and for thy sake will serve each others good-- ,grief answers grief1 now comes the ready tear1 ,to bring thee back we'd weep thee tears of blood2 ,and would we weep for thee to call thee hence8 ,again instate thee in this world of woe1 ,would we rebel and murmur--dread offence-- ,against the ,god whose mandate bade thee go8 ,nay1 wearied one1 fly to thy hav'n of rest1 ,god wills it so2 content we are to be ,without thee here1 thou dwell'st among the blest ,forever safe in realms prepared for thee4 ,,part ,i4 ,life and ,character4 ,,chapter ,i4 ,,ancestry ,,and ,,parents4 ,in ,cumberland ,county1 in the southern part of the ,state of ,new ,jersey1 may be found a little settlement called ,gouldtown4 ,it contains a church1 a school house1 a blacksmith shop1 a wheelwright shop1 two stores and a post office4 ,the community is made up almost entirely of farmers1 and is of course very conservative as to modes of thought and expression4 ,it takes its name from the large family of ,gould's who have so long occupied the place4 ,there are1 however1 three other families more or less intermixed with the ,gould family2 viz3 ,the ,pierces1 the ,murrays1 and the ,cuffs2 but the ,goulds have usually maintained the leading position1 both in number and influence4 ,tradition connects this family with the early settlers of the ,state4 ,john ,fenwick1 an ,englishman1 who had been a ,major in the ,parliamentary army under ,cromwell1 and who had been specially appointed by ,cromwell to see the sentence of death pronounced against the king1 7,charles ,i417 executed1 in the open streets before ,whitehall1 after the ,restoration emigrated to ,america4 ,he had adopted the religious views of ,george ,fox1 and became associated with ,william ,penn4 ,he arrived in ,new ,jersey 7,caesarea7 in the year #afge1 accompanied by his three daughters1 two of whom were married1 their husbands1 five grandchildren1 and ten servants4 ,one grand-daughter1 ,elizabeth1 aged at the time of their arrival in ,america at eleven years1 subsequently caused him much grief1 and1 it is said did much to bring his gray hairs in sorrow to the grave4 ,he does not disguise the sense of shame that hangs over him from her course of life1 and strives to make her understand his displeasure1 by depriving her of any part of his property1 immediate or prospective1 but on certain conditions4--,life of ,john ,fenwick by ,john ,clemens4 ,the crime committed by ,elizabeth1 was uniting herself in wedlock to a black man4 ,it may have been an informal wedlock2 as perhaps no one could be found in the colony who would have dared solemnize or record such a marriage4 ,for its legality it may have had to depend upon ,heaven's authority1 and not upon the par-blind courts of men4 ,the certain conditions upon which ,elizabeth might share a part of her grandfather's property were1 to leave that ,black1 and repent of her sins4 7,see ,fenwick's will47 ,a tradition universally accepted1 connects the ,goulds with the issue of this marriage4 ,the name of this man1 however1 is not found in any of the family records1 and in ,fenwick's will he is simply contemptuously called that ,black4 ,a vague tradition says he was a slave whom ,fenwick purchased of some trading vessel1 giving in exchange for him a barrel of rum4 ,if this should be true1 the sequel shows how large a trouble he bought with a small price4 ,benjamin ,gould1 the first ,gould of whom we have any record1 is declared to be the son of this ,elizabeth4 ,he is supposed to have had a brother named ,richard4 ,the dust of ,benjamin ,gould and ,ann his wife1 lies buried in the old family graveyard at ,gouldtown4 ,to them were born ,elisha1 ,abijah1 ,samuel and ,anthony4 ,samuel died ,january #bfth1 #agic1 and ,abijah in #ahjf4 ,very little1 indeed1 is known of this generation4 ,it was simply an obscure family1 struggling against terrible odds1 and yet possessing intelligence sufficient to preserve some records and establish a graveyard4 ,the graveyard is a hallowed rallying place4 ,abraham's first possession in the land of promise was a family burying ground2 and to this sacred spot as a last earthly resting place1 his immediate descendants were taught to look4 ,to ,abijah ,gould were born ,benjamin1 ,richard1 ,abijah ,jr41 ,furman1 ,leonard and ,hannah4 ,,furman ,,gould was for many years a licensed local preacher in the ,african ,m4 ,e4 ,church and was an honored member of the ,philadelphia ,annual ,conference4 ,the older members of that ,conference will readily remember his venerable appearance1 coupled with his somewhat brusque and positive manners4 ,he was a man who had views of his own1 and the hardihood to express them4 ,,benjamin ,,gould quite early in life married ,phoebe ,bowen1 a young woman brought up in the family of ,reuben ,cuff of ,salem1 ,n4 ,j4 ,to them were born ,oliver1 ,tamson1 ,lydia1 ,jane1 ,abijah1 ,sarah1 ,rebecca1 ,phoebe and ,prudence4 ,this ,benjamin ,gould1 the brother of the ,rev4 ,furman ,gould1 is doubtless well remembered by the older itinerant preachers1 who labored in that section of the country1 as for instance the ,rev4 ,richard ,barney and ,bishop ,wayman4 ,he was a man of recognized worth1 for many years chief steward of the church1 of some literary culture1 quite a wag1 and very fond of practical jokes4 ,he was a thrifty farmer for his times1 and quite an extensive dealer in cordwood and hoppoles4 ,,phoebe ,,gould1 his wife1 was possessed of considerable intelligence and evinced a fondness for learning4 ,deeply pious1 her mind was well stored with ,bible truths and with choice hymns4 ,she manifested a fondness for children1 and could repeat from memory to their delight many long stories in verse2 and she never failed to leave upon them an impression for good4 ,she seemed to live in a very holy frame1 and did not fail to bless all who came near her4 ,benjamin ,gould1 the father of ,rebecca ,steward1 passed away on the #ahth of ,may #ahea1 and twenty-six years after on the same day of the month and at the same hour in the day1 viz41 ,may #ahth #ahgg1 ,phoebe ,gould1 the mother1 followed him to that better land4 ,the heads of the family are gone over1 and one by one the children who have walked in the footsteps of their parents are being gathered home after them4 ,the latest grave is that which contains the precious dust of ,,rebecca ,,steward1 fifth daughter of ,benjamin and ,phoebe ,gould4 ,,chapter ,,ii4 ,,birth1 ,,home1 ,,marriage1 ,,conversion4 ,rebecca ,gould1 afterwards ,rebecca ,steward1 was born in ,gouldtown on the #b;d of ,may1 #ahbj4 ,but ,gouldtown a half century ago was not what it is now4 ,it was then almost unbroken forest4 ,the early childhood of this family was passed in a rude little log house1 in which one room answered for kitchen1 dining-room1 parlor and bed-room for eleven souls4 ,a brave and stalwart father1 a slight and sickly mother1 seven girls1 and two boys1 made up that household4 ,a little uncomfortable school house1 answering on the ,sabbath for church1 was the only public building known4 ,in such circumstances1 grew up this family2 the children early learning to work in the fields and in the woods1 girls and boys1 very much alike1 getting now and then a few months in school1 and working occasionally in other families4 ,thus they learned quite early the stern realities of life4 ,this home1 though rude1 was the abode of good cheer1 in which the wayworn traveler and especially the minister of the gospel1 always found a welcome4 ,let me picture it as it lives in my earliest recollections4 ,the log-house had then given way to one of frame scarcely larger1 and this was old4 ,the heavy oaken door painted red swung lazily on its hinges1 and the leather latch string answered for a knob4 ,in one corner of the room stood an ancient corner cupboard1 with its glass doors and abundant carvings2 in another the old clock1 with its two brothers clasped in affectionate embrace on its front2 the fire place and the innovation of a ten plate stove1 occupied one side of the room2 while opposite1 stood the old table1 with its legs terminating in dragon's feet1 from which ,i have crept away in terror many times1 imagining that the cloth concealed some hideous beast4 ,a long settee and a few rush bottom chairs completed the furniture4 ,my earliest recollections carry me to this house2 to the well that stood before it2 to the old pear tree and apple tree near by4 ,but clearest in my memory are the white bread1 the rich butter and sweet milk1 that ,grandmother dealt out to her hungry juvenile visitors with such liberal hand4 ,oh1 how peaceful and sweet appear the beginnings of life when we look back upon them from the smoking perilous battle field of manhoods labors4 ,at nineteen years of age1 ,rebecca ,gould was sought and won in marriage by ,james ,steward4 ,he was then a young man of promise1 a steady and thrifty mechanic1 having worked nine years in the ,cumberland ,nail and ,iron works4 ,he had been reared practically an orphan1 his mother having gone to ,san ,domingo1 doubtless with an intention of one day returning4 ,she never returned2 and thus his last earthly relative1 so far as he knew1 departed4 ,alone he battled his way up4 ,providence1 however1 ultimately gave him a home in the family of ,elijah ,gould1 father of ,rev4 ,t4 ,gould1 where he remained until twenty-one4 ,at twenty-four years of age he took to his side ,rebecca ,gould and the twain became one4 ,of ,james ,steward and ,rebecca1 were born six children1 viz3 ,margarette1 ,william1 ,mary1 ,theophilus ,gould1 ,alice1 and ,stephen ,smith4 ,permit me henceforth to speak of this couple as my father and mother1 and ,i beg the reader to pardon me1 if ,i should manifest a degree of love and respect1 which may seem to him somewhat partial4 ,i write1 ,i trust1 as a man who feels that there can be no nobler sentiment than real filial love4 ,neither my father or mother were ,christians at the time of marriage4 ,they commenced life in the town2 but as children were born to them1 although they had purchased a home in the village1 they sold it and went to the country4 ,the principal object had in view in this matter1 was to keep their children in a pure and health giving moral1 as well as physical1 atmosphere4 ,i am not certain which took the lead in this change1 father or mother2 but it is presumable that as father had been reared in the town and mother in the country1 it was done directly or indirectly through her influence4 ,fortunately father and mother agreed on all principal matters relating to the government of their children4 ,they both resolved to do the best possible1 to give them a practical education1 an education that would be of use2 but mother being the better informed assumed the larger share in the direction of this education4 ,she1 to some extent1 examined and encouraged the children even when in school1 and kept the love of learning burning briskly all the time4 ,about seven years after marriage she became an active ,christian1 joining the ,african ,m4 ,e4 ,church in ,gouldtown1 ,october #ab1 #ahdf1 under ,rev4 now ,bishop ,a4 ,w4 ,wayman2 and not long after my father followed her in a profession of faith4 ,my whole recollection of my mother is of a ,christian4 ,in my early childhood1 ,i remember her as being much afflicted4 ,during one of these long periods of sickness1 ,i remember her requesting my father to sing the hymn3 ,shrinking from the cold hand of death ,i soon shall gather up my feet1 ,shall soon resign this fleeting breath ,and die1--my father's ,god to meet4 ,i suppose she felt that her end was approaching4 ,she had taken the book and found the hymn and requested my father to sing it4 ,as soon as he saw the character of the hymn he bowed himself upon the bedside and wept4 ,though but a child scarcely above infancy1 yet the scene is firmly photographed on my memory4 ,i also remember during one of these long periods of sickness1 of receiving an impression that ,i had seen her walking out in the garden4 ,i was so sure that she had been out1 that the next day ,i asked her if she was going out again4 ,she surprisingly asked ,going out again8 why when have ,i been out8 ,why1 said ,i you were out in the garden yesterday4 ,no1 ,i was not1 she replied4 ,i insisted that she had been out2 but she thought ,i had dreamed it2 and that disgusted me1 when ,i was so sure ,i had seen her and talked with her in the garden4 ,i carry to this day a distinct recollection of her appearance in the garden on that day4 ,the facts were1 as ,i afterward learned1 that she was sitting by the south window in her room overlooking the garden1 watching me while ,i was playing in the garden4 ,i have no explanation to offer4 ,the work of my mother may be divided in at least three parts1 viz3 ,in her family1 in the neighborhood1 and in herself1 in enduring afflictions and triumphing over them4 ,as a wife and a mother1 she fulfilled her whole duty in the household4 ,she was intelligent1 hospitable1 and kind2 securing for her children the best company within their reach4 ,by extensive reading and careful study1 she prepared herself to entertain the young and the old1 the rude1 and the refined2 and by her executive ability she could secure the comfort and pleasure of almost any number of guests4 ,towards the community she stood as an unofficious and unostentatious missionary and educator4 ,in herself she suffered the will of ,god1 and gave such an example of patience as is rarely met with4 ,i shall try to present a brief sketch of her work in all these spheres and refer the reader for illustrations1 to her own writings and letters1 and to the contributions of those whose names honor this book4 ,,chapter ,,iii4 ,,wife1 ,,mother ,,and ,,writer4 ,on the #bast of ,march1 #ahfi1 my mother was taken with a serious illness1 which confined her to her bed for two years1 and to her house for five years4 ,during the period of her convalescence1 in which for most of the time she was unable to walk a step1 she kept her pen employed2 and always upon ,christian themes4 ,having read the ,bible with great patience and care1 she could glean from its inspired pages1 thoughts not unworthy a place in our best religious journals4 ,it was while she was thus afflicted1 that the movement for the special promotion of holiness assumed noticeable proportions4 ,with this movement she had no sympathy1 and expressed unhesitatingly her disapproval of any religious or political reform1 lead in large measure by women4 ,she wrote a series of articles on ,sanctification1 having direct bearing upon this movement4 ,her words have lost none of their weight with the lapse of time1 and experience of the ,church4 ,she commenced her articles with expressing surprise and pain1 that ,christians should talk about the time when they were sanctified2 and should set apart times and hold special meetings for sanctification4 ,now1 she says1 this argues to me that they do not know ,christ2 or they doubt ,god's power to forgive sins fully1 freely and clearly2 or they do not believe ,christ when he says believe and be saved4 ',he that believeth on me though he were dead yet shall he live' ,john4 #aa4 #be4 ,now1 if ,christ does not mean to save to the uttermost why does he invite all the ends of the earth to come and be saved8 ,he does not say repent and believe now1 and after awhile ,i will come to wash1 cleanse1 purify1 sanctify you or set you apart2 but he says repent and believe now and ye shall be saved now4 ,she maintained with the approval of her own conscience1 the testimony of her own experience1 and abundant scripture reference1 that we could not be half in ,christ and half-out1 half-saved and half-lost1 that there was no concord between ,christ and ,belial1 no partnership between ,god and the devil4 ,her words are ,we cannot be half saved and half lost1 there can be no half-way measures with ,christ1 we must come unto ,him and be saved or stay away and be lost4 ,and then she says ,every part must be saved1 not a hair of your head shall perish4 ,as ,god sanctified the entire ,sabbath from its very dawn to its close1 so she argued does ,god sanctify the whole ,christian life4 ,her faith was to the effect that all ,christians were sanctified from conversion1 and she called on all ,christians to so regard themselves and to so repose upon all the promises of ,god4 ,during this period of affliction she wrote the interesting paper found further on in this book1 entitled1 ,,two ,,years ,,on ,,the ,,brink ,,of ,,jordan4 ,it was written with a view of reflecting her own experience4 ,the cases alluded to in it of persons crossing the river in ,charon's boat1 are not ficticious1 but solemn records of the death of some of her acquaintances4 ,she preferred to leave them un-named1 and ,i would not now trespass upon her preference2 but ,i repeat1 the reader may feel assured1 that in every departure of the boat he is looking upon a real death-bed scene1 and will understand that morning1 noon1 and evening1 as there used1 refer to youth1 middle age1 and old age4 ,but it was in the home circle that ,mother was best known and most honored4 ,to exhibit something of her knowledge of life1 ,i give a few of her letters addressed to her children4 ,they are records of suffering1 of patience1 of faith1 and of love4 ,january #i1 #ahge4 ,,dear ,,alice4--,i have been kept at home again to-day by a fit of cholic1 which ,i am having every few days now1 or whenever ,i eat anything4 ,it has not lasted as long to-day as usual1 and was not quite as bad4 ,last ,sunday ,i went to ,quarterly meeting in the morning1 thinking it would be sacrament service1 but it was put off till afternoon1 so ,i have not had the sacrament since ,august 99 99 99 ,you must not think because ,i said ,i had the cholic that ,i am sick4 ,i am going about1 seeing to my work4 ,we killed hogs ,monday1 and ,i fixed all the dinner and ,i go visiting once in awhile1 and to day1 although confined at home1 ,i have been picking some of the fruit off life's fair tree4 ,i can't tell you how much1 but ,i have got pretty well filled2 but ,i have not got as much charity as ,i want4 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,your pigeon is living and running with the chickens4 ,,your ,,mother4 ,the following letter was addressed to her daughter ,alice and her husband ,rev4 ,c4 ,c4 ,filts1 when he was very sick4 ,it explains itself1 and although it contains matters of a private nature1 yet ,i give it entire to show the beauty and strength of her mind and heart4 ,june #bf1 #ahge4 ,,my ,,dear ,,children4--,i am deeply grieved that the dark hand of affliction should fall on you so soon1 and ,i can hardly realize how hard it has been through all these weary weeks of suffering2 but1 dear ,alice1 ,i hope you have done well your duty1 and ,cethe ,i trust has born up with ,christian patience4 ,i would gladly have been with you if it had been possible4 ,i am thankful to hear that ,cethe is better and hope he will take good care of himself and get quite well4 ,we did not feel so much disappointed at your not coming2 we hardly looked for you1 although your father would not give it up until the last train had come in4 ,but do not worry to come home2 tell ,cethe ,i think he has the home sickness to contend with now1 but he must be patient as he promised4 ,my visit to ,new ,york was not much2 ,i was so tired when ,i got there1 ,i could not do anything4 ,sunday ,i went to church and ,sunday ,school4 ,monday it rained1 so ,i did not go out1 and ,tuesday ,i came home2 so you see ,i don't know much about anything1 only the beautiful ride up the bay from ,long ,branch1 which was amid the finest scenery ,i ever saw4 ,theoph's people seem to think a great deal of him2 but he is not very well4 ,lizzie got down home all right and her brother is coming back with her4 ,we are all well1 but the weather is so hot we can hardly live2 the factory stopped yesterday for the heat4 ,we are going to harvest next week2 we have the nicest corn4 ,we are having some great times about ,bro4 ,faucett's money2 we have to pay up every week1 but ,i think he is nice1 and he gives us good preaching4 ,i know you will not mind bad writing this hot weather4 ,,mother4 ,in giving these two letters1 ,i have desired to show my mother's appreciation of the sacraments of the church1 and of the gospel1 and her ability to give good counsel and comfort to her distressed children4 ,she had not had the sacrament since ,august6 ,she felt the loss1 and had through much affliction gone to church that she might once more meet the assembly of the saints1 at the table of the ,lord1 and then had been disappointed6 ,she put her own feelings on paper1 when1 as against the clamor and complaints against the minister1 she wrote he gives us good preaching4 ,little did she then know that that minister1 who gave the people1 as she said1 good preaching1 should one day be called upon to pronounce the last sad tribute to her worth over her open coffin4 ,i am glad that ,i can put on record the testimony of ,rebecca ,steward1 a woman learned in the ,bible1 and experienced in the things of ,god1 in favor of the preaching of any minister4 ,she calmly wrote that ,brother ,faucett gave the people good preaching4 ,how she could comfort the distressed1 the letters themselves say4 ,a few more paragraphs will show how she lived in the atmosphere of ,heaven1 and how she looked upon ,heaven as her near home4 ,the reader will pardon this anticipation and transposition of years4 ,,chapter ,,iv4 ,,children ,,all ,,married4 ,in the spring of #ahgd my mother had so far recovered1 as to be able to walk about a little2 and1 in company with her oldest sister1 ,tamson ,cuff1 since gone to rest1 she made a visit of a few weeks to ,newbern1 ,north ,carolina4 ,soon after her arrival she wrote the following letter3 ,newbern1 ,n4 ,c41 ,april #agth1 #ahgd4 ,dear husband1 and all the loved ones at home4 ,,will wrote for me last night1 so you will know that we got here all safe2 but ,tamson is not feeling very well this morning4 ,i am quite as well as usual4 ,i found ,will and his folks as well and happy as can be2 ,will is fatter than ,i ever saw him4 ,i did not get to see ,theoph1 ,i can't tell why2 if you hear from him let me know2 and if you do not1 after a week or two1 write to ,mr4 ,hamilton1 and see where he is4 ,it was cold and dreary enough when we came from home1 but we have come right into midsummer here2 the birds are singing1 and flowers blooming1 and the swamps and woods along the road are as green as in the first of ,june4 ,in the yards here1 there are fig trees1 and peach and plum trees1 as green with leaves as in ,july with us4 ,they are having peas1 and onions1 and lettuce1 to eat4 ,i had a nice bunch of flowers given to me last night1 and ,i want to send you some before they wilt4 99 99 99 99 ,we had a nice ride around the city 7in ,washington17 saw the ,capitol1 ,patent ,office1 and ,post ,office1 and ,i cannot tell you what else1 until ,i get home4 ,we are invited to stop a week in ,washington on our return2 but ,i reckon ,i shall want to come right home when ,i start4 ,as ever1 wife and mother1 ,r4 ,s4 ,she came home from this visit much improved1 and enjoyed quite good health until the fall of '#ge4 ,during the winter of '#gd she witnessed the marriage of her two remaining children1 and looked out upon life a second time almost alone4 ,the couple that had married in the beginning of ,december '#ch1 saw the last of their children married1 at the close of ,december '#gd4 ,thirty-six years had been employed in rearing and training a family ere the last one is given to manhood1 and the father and mother turn a moment to repose4 ,their work is done2 time shall say if it has been well done4 ,time did ,i say8 ,nay1 ,eternity6 ,their work done1 they go back in that quiet home alone1 but cannot recall the hopes and joys of youth4 ,when married thirty-six years ago1 they were without the ,pearl of ,great ,price2 now they sit in that homestead1 after exercising nearly forty years of command in the sublime domain of domestic government1 and look up to their father's ,god4 ,now that father and mother bow1 and unitedly pray1 ,god bless our offspring in different parts of the world2 teach them1 educate them1 give them knowledge1 wisdom and understanding2 make them useful in doing much good1 and instruments in ,thy hand in winning many souls to ,thy ,kingdom4 ,this is no fancy sketch1 dear reader1 but an actual quotation from the prayer that went up from that altar4 ,when somewhat discouraged with untoward circumstances1 during this period of her life1 ,i received two letters from her which ,i have ever prized4 ,in one she said3 ,i never close my eyes at night1 without looking over you all1 and committing you all to ,god's care2 and ,i do pray ,god to keep you all2 so that when we are all done with the cares of this life1 we shall be a family united around the throne--children1 grandchildren1 and all2 and we will make the heavens ring with one eternal song of praise4 ,follow after the meek and lowly ,jesus2 and if you can't make anything of the old people1 try the children2 sow the seeds of ,divine ,truth among them as much as you can2 leave no measure untried1 no place neglected1 as far as in you lies4 ,be faithful2 be earnest2 for remember ,he that goeth forth with tares bearing precious seed shall return again bringing his sheaves with him4 ,and ,oh6 think of the glory1 the rejoicing--when all the ransomed of the ,lord shall come flocking to him--to meet those you have been instrumental in bringing to ,christ4 ,in the other she said3 ,continue to look up1 for ,christ is the end of your hopes and ,he will never forsake you4 ,he has work enough for you to do4 ,seek to find out ,his will and obediently follow it4 ,work in ,his vineyard wherever you find a place2 and1 if you can find nothing else1 then quietly1 like your mother1 patiently wait and speak a word for ,him whenever you can4 ,scatter seed wherever you go1 and may the ,lord bless you1 and keep you and all yours1 is the best wish of the heart of your mother4 ,the summer of '#ge was to the inhabitants of ,south ,jersey quite prosperous1 so far as the productions of the field were concerned1 and this made abundant work for mother now left alone4 ,it being difficult to obtain help1 the chief burden of managing the affairs of the farm-house fell upon her1 and they were not light4 ,she says1 ,july #f1 #ahge1 in a letter addressed to ,mrs4 ,felts3 ,we are all pretty well and almost done harvesting2 the weather is very warm and ,i have had it pretty hard1 but it is over now1 and ,i have stood it right well4 ,on the #eth of the same month she wrote a long letter to ,mrs4 ,felts inviting her home4 ,during the month of ,august1 #ahge she presided over a family reunion1 at which were gathered all the members of the household consisting of over forty persons4 ,a long table was spread under the trees just as the sun was sinking in the west1 and after a short prayer by ,rev4 ,r4 ,faucett this numerous family gathered around it in the utmost sociality4 ,it was their last4 ,the remaining days of summer and early autumn passed away without any material change in her health2 but as the cool weather approached1 and the profuse vegetable matter began to die away1 she was taken with a slight billious intermittent fever4 ,exposing herself too early on her recovery from this1 she was thrown into typhoid fever and was by it completely prostrated4 ,during the winter as she was very low1 ,i was informed of her state1 and came to see her1 bringing her some nourishment1 which ,i induced her to take1 and there was soon a gradual change for the better4 ,during her former illness her hair had all turned grey1 and fallen out2 during the period of health from the spring of '#gd to the autumn of '#ge it had grown in again black1 and now this terrible typhoid fever leaves her reduced to little more than a skeleton1 and her hair all grey and falling out again4 ,on the #acth of ,february #ahgf1 having recovered sufficiently1 she wrote to her daughter as follows1 writing with her own hand3 ,dear ,alice4 ,the cloud indeed passed away1 and ,i am much better2 ,i am sorry ,i troubled you1 and made you sad 7alluding to a previous letter in which she expressed no hope of recovery71 but ,i thought it best then4 ,i guess ,i will get well now1 if nothing else happens4 ,father will not let me go out of the room yet2 he is very well2 he went to a donation party to ,mr4 ,faucett's last night4 ,you need not be uneasy about me1 ,i am well cared for and do not wish you to come to me4 ,i think it would be out of your duty and you know ,i always say 'duty before pleasure2' and besides1 ',aunt ,lydia' has been with me and will come again if ,i need her4 99 99 99 99 ,the people like ,mr4 ,faucett better than they did4 ,i cannot advise you about coming ,east4 99 99 99 ,you must both make it a subject of prayer1 but don't come for my sake2 ,i am not worth a sacrifice2 and besides ,i have sacrificed you all to the ,lord4 7,see ,february #fth #ahgf47 ,i have laid all of you1 with all that ,i have1 on the altar2 all my dearest affections1 and you among the dearest2 so you see ,i can't take you back4 ,and in this letter she adds here is the last bit of my hair4 ,the same date she wrote to her son-in-law1 ,rev4 ,c4 ,c4 ,felts as follows3 ,dear ,cethe3--,i like to forgot1 ,i had something to say to you4 ,i must answer your grumbling as best ,i can1 for ,i don't like grumblers any way4 7,mr4 ,felts had written1 that his room was so small that he could not walk across without moving things out of the way to make a passage1 etc41 and otherwise alluding to his poverty4 ,of course the correspondence was rather jocosely conducted47 ,she continued3 #ast4 ,you forget how much larger your room is than the cross was2 and how many things the ,saviour had to move out of the way2 you forget also how much larger those mansions in glory will appear4 #b;d4 ,you forget1 too1 that your bread shall be given and water sure2 and having food and raiment1 therewith to be content4 #c;d4 ,you forget1 too1 that he that goeth forth weeping1 bearing precious seed1 shall doubtless return again1 bringing his sheaves with him4 ,sow thy seed in the morning1 in the evening withhold not thy hand1 for thou knowest not which shall prosper1 this or that4 ,the other side looks so bright1 ,i have no comments4 ,,mother4 ,the summer of '#gf passed slowly away1 she regaining health slowly4 ,her hair1 which all came out with the typhoid fever1 grew in rapidly1 and again black4 ,in ,august of that year she wrote as follows3 ,we are all well as usual4 ,theoph is here1 and ,lizzie is coming to day1 and ,bishop ,payne ,saturday4 ,we had the finest pic-nic yesterday we have had for a long time4 99 99 99 ,i shall be to see you week after next1 if ,i don't go home with ,theoph2 and if ,i do1 ,i will be there the week after4 ,i am going to ,campmeeting now4 ,she went home with ,theoph1 passing a week in ,brooklyn and going from there to ,philadelphia4 ,her deep interest in the welfare of her children1 and her complete resignation to the will of ,god are so apparent in these letters1 as scarcely to need a hint4 ,she has laid all on the altar and dare not take it off4 ,she counts not herself worth a sacrifice4 ,what further self-denial can be asked8 ,what further consecration possible8 ,from her visit to ,brooklyn she went to ,philadelphia1 stopping a week at the latter place with her daughter1 ,mrs4 ,felts1 and remarked while there1 that she was taking a rest after her severe summer's labor1 and was also visiting her children for the last time1 unless called to them by sickness4 ,while in ,philadelphia she visited the great ,centennial ,exposition1 and called on many of her friends in the city4 ,on the ,sabbath1 it was her intention to visit ,old ,bethel once more1 but the day being stormy1 she was disappointed4 ,her two weeks vacation1 she said1 saved her from an attack of sickness1 and she passed the following winter in quite good health4 ,she wrote me towards spring1 saying she was rapidly gaining in flesh and had not been sick a day since her visit4 ,during the month of ,january her oldest sister was taken very sick1 requiring much of her attention2 simultaneously word came that her daughter1 ,mrs4 ,felts1 was also seriously ill4 ,she divided her time between these two afflicted ones1 again visiting the city4 ,as she left home to go to the city1 the weather was so bad1 she had doubts about reaching it2 but she said1 ,my duty is to start4 ,staying two weeks with her daughter1 she availed herself of only one pleasure1 and that was to hear ,dr4 ,lord's classic lecture on ,gothic ,architecture4 ,this was to her a great treat2 and her perception was at that time so clear1 and her memory so retentive1 that after coming home she repeated almost the entire substance of the lecture4 ,during the month of ,march my brother ,stephen and his wife moved into the homestead1 to take charge of the farm4 ,my mother felt sad as she brought her domestic arrangements within closer quarters1 and remarked that it seemed to her like having gone to the top of the hill and now going down again4 ,although she was delighted with her daughter-in-law and heartily acquiesced in the arrangement1 in fact it was in accord with her own wish1 yet she expressed a feeling of sadness as she relinquished her hold upon active and responsible life4 ,what with the labor of caring for the sick daughter1 her sick mother1 and her sick sister1 during the winter1 when spring came she was very much worn down4 ,the last letter she wrote is dated ,may #gth1 #ahgg1 and is addressed to her oldest son4 ,it reads3 ,dear ,will3--,yours kindly received4 ,we were glad to be remembered1 and glad to know you had got so well2 we are all as usual except colds4 ,i have not seen your family since you were here4 ,steve is almost done planting corn2 but the weather is so cold1 he gets along slow with his work4 ,aunt ,tamson is very low2--not expected to live from day to day4 ,tell ,alice1 we can't--any one of us--come to the opening of the ,exhibition2 but she can come home any day she gets ready4 ,we are getting along very peacably and nice with our two families together4 ,our new preacher was with us yesterday and kindly received4 ,you will wonder why ,i have not written better2 but ,i am in a hurry for ,grandmother and ,aunt ,prude are both sick1 and ,i am going there as soon as ,i can2 ,aunt ,tamson's family are all with her2 you see we have trouble all around us2 it was the news of ,ike's death that threw her back4 ,father is working right on for four weeks1 which is wonderful4 ,with much love1 from your ,,mother4 ,so far as ,i know this is the last letter she ever wrote4 ,on the #aath of ,may1 ,mrs4 ,felts went home and took charge of her work1 while she gave her time fully to the care of the sick4 ,every day and every night she would visit one or the other1 often going from one directly to the other1 taking but very little rest4 ,one day she remarked to ,mrs4 ,felts3 ,alice1 this is the only time since your marriage that ,i have ever wanted you back2 when ,i gave you up1 ,i did so freely and have never regretted it1 and this is the first time ,i have ever really needed you since1 and now the ,lord has arranged it for you to be here4 ,on the #afth of ,may1 ,aunt ,tamson 7,mrs4 ,tamson ,cuff1 her oldest sister7 passed away from earth4 ,at the time of her death mother was absent2 coming to look upon her lifeless form1 she talked pleasantly with those around of the reality and glory of heaven1 and came home singing3 ,i know not the hour when my ,lord shall come1 ,to take me away to ,his own dear home1 ,but ,i know that ,his presence will lighten my gloom2 ,and that will be glory for me4 ,taking off her bonnet1 she said3 ,alice1 attend to the work1 ,i must indulge myself a little now2 and lying down on the sofa1 she wept freely for some time4 ,she lay there till evening and then rousing herself1 passed the evening in conversation with the daughters of the deceased4 ,on the next day1 ,may #agth1 she worked very hard intending to spend all the next day with her mother4 ,about #e o'clock that afternoon word was brought that her mother was dead4 ,throwing up both hands1 she uttered a wail of horror1 such as none had ever heard from her before1 saying quickly3 ,oh6 ,my mother gone2 and ,i so selfish as to be about my work and not with her6 ,we replied3 ,but mother you were preparing to spend to-morrow with her4 ,she added immediately3 ,i could have gone to day4 ,it was my selfishness4 ,mother said she would die on the #ahth and ,i intended to be with her on that day2 but ,i ought not to have left her1 ,i ought not to have left her1 she repeated4 ,as quickly as possible she was at her mother's bedside and to her inexpressible joy found her still alive4 ,she had sunk so low that life was thought extinct1 but the ,lord had revived her again and she still lived1 and recognized her daughter4 ,she lived through the night and waited until the sun had sent his first beams to bless the earth on the #ahth1 when her happy spirit fled to its eternal home4 ,she had known it would appear for some days1 the day and very hour when she should go away4 ,it was the same day of the month and the same hour at which her husband died4 ,side by side their ashes sleep in the old family graveyard at ,gouldtown1 awaiting the clarion call of the resurrection trump4 ,my mother turned not away from the corpse of her mother until she had seen it all prepared for the grave4 ,it was a work1 she said1 she could leave no stranger to do1 and made the same request for herself4 ,never allow my body to pass into the hands of strangers1 was her request4 ,on ,saturday1 the #aith of ,may1 #ahgg1 her sister1 ,mrs4 ,cuff1 was buried1 and ,monday following1 7,may #bast17 her mother's corpse was laid in the grave4 ,after the funeral of the mother1 at her suggestion1 all the remaining members of the family went back to the old homestead and ate dinner together1 she saying it would perhaps be their last time4 ,from these sad days she went direct into hard work1 and when gently remonstrated with and fears were expressed that she would get sick1 she replied3 ,oh6 ,i will get over it1 ,i guess2 and if ,i do not1 it is in the end life everlasting4 ,on the #bhth of the month she was taken seriously ill and medical aid was summoned4 ,from the first she expressed but little hope1 saying3 ,i never was sick this way before4 ,she talked freely with her children and would not be satisfied until she had made them say that they had forgiven her for persisting to work against their wish4 ,during the last ,sabbath she spent on earth1 she fell into a gentle doze when suddenly waking1 she said3 ,what do you think ,i saw8 and then musingly she added3 ,it might have been a dream2 ,i think it was1 but ,i saw the ,lord holding ,theoph and ,cethe1 in his arms1 and ,i know ,he is going to keep them safe4 ,that night being taken worse1 the family watched with her and she remarked3 ,ah1 children1 ,i shall not be here in the morning4 ,morning came1 however1 and she was still spared4 ,in conversation that day she said3 ,i thought ,i was dying1 but ,i felt comfortable in mind and had no fear4 ,as her daughter1 ,mrs4 ,felts1 was obliged to leave1 she urged her to watch with great care over her little girl1 saying3 ,as you mould her so will she grow4 ,i never could think my children were only for my pleasure1 ,i did not dare make playthings of them1 ,i thought the training of my children was part of the work ,god gave me to do4 ,i may get well1 said she1 but anyhow my life is hid with ,christ in ,god and to be where there is no more pain1 where all tears are wiped away1--,ah1 you need not wonder that ,i do not care to stay here4 ,i have been sick so much--and in that land no one says ',i am sick1' ,i have thought with ',aunt ,tamson' and ',grandmother' that it was hard to open the gates1 but then there's glory on the other side4 ,the next day 7,monday7 she appeared better1 but during the night was again worse4 ,on ,thursday1 ,father becoming alarmed1 despatched for the absent ones2 she knew this and objected1 saying it would produce needless alarm4 ,that night she had sinking spells4 ,recovering from one of them1 she exclaimed3 ,oh1 can't you catch the glory of heaven all around me6 ,father burst into tears and she immediately added3 ,oh1 ,i did not mean to distress you6 ,although we knew she was dying1 we said but little4 ,who could talk8 ,her last audible words were3 ,though ,i walk through the valley and shadow of death1 ,i will fear no evil1 for ,thou art with me1 and taking the hand of her sister1 added3 ,i am deep down in the valley now--deep down in the valley1 but glory to ,god1 she could say ,thou art with me6 ,just three weeks after her mother's death1 viz3 ,friday1 ,june #hth1 #ahgg1 she passed away and there are now three fresh graves in that old burial ground4 ,,the ,,funeral4 ,on ,monday1 ,june #aath1 #ahgg1 a large concourse of people met in ,trinity ,a4 ,m4 ,e4 ,church1 ,gouldtown1 to pay their last acknowledgements to this modest and excellent woman4 ,the corpse was neatly dressed and in the coffin lay quite a profusion of freshly blown roses4 ,the services at the church were conducted by ,rev4 ,redman ,faucett and ,dr4 ,b4 ,t4 ,tanner2 those at the grave by ,revs4 ,e4 ,j4 ,hammet1 ,g4 ,w4 ,boyer and ,dr4 ,h4 ,m4 ,turner4 ,all spoke eloquently of the virtues of the deceased4 ,after the coffin was lowered down in the grave and solemnly committed to dust1 a large basket of white roses were distributed among the weeping relatives and friends1 and each threw a handful of sweet flowers on the dust of her whom all had learned to love4 ,and thus ends the earthly life of a noble woman4 ,ends did ,i say8 ,may ,i not rather say1 begins6 ,that life so illustrative of golden virtues and heroic principles1 it is to be hoped will go down through the present and succeeding generations1 lived over by those whom she loved1 and she being dead1 may yet speak words of comfort and love to many struggling ones among ,god's children4 ,,chapter ,v4 ,,retrospection4 ,shall we not now pause a moment by the side of this fresh grave1 and look back over the pathway trod by the modest woman1 whose form lies sleeping here1 embalmed in flowers1 and call to mind anew the virtues she possessed4 ,we have seen her in the midst of a large family1 performing the duties of wife and mother4 ,shall we not for a moment regard her in that larger sphere of ,christian labor1 which she filled in the church and in her community4 ,in #ahdf she became an earnest and zealous follower of the ,lord1 and united with the ,african ,methodist ,episcopal ,church in ,gouldtown1 of which the ,rev4 7now ,bishop7 ,a4 ,w4 ,wayman was then pastor4 ,she was converted during a period of affliction1 and ,i think the lines written in that year and bearing the inscription written after a time of affliction1 page #abi1 are intended to commemorate that event4 ,the second and third verses seem to describe the state of a soul passing from death to life1 through faith in the gospel4 ,she joined the church in ,october of that year1 and seems to have commenced her labors at once4 ,in the ,sunday-school she became a teacher and was successful in that capacity in bringing many souls to ,christ4 ,it was her object to secure the conversion of every scholar committed to her care1 and she seldom failed4 ,she also became teacher of an adult ,bible class1 which met weekly at her house or the house of one of the neighbors2 she managed for some time a weekly prayer meeting1 composed of the female members of the church1 and subsequently became an active member of the church aid society4 ,yet1 with all this activity1 there was no ostentation1 no public show1 no noisy parade1 no extravagant shouting4 ,she was an uncompromising opponent to woman's preaching1 and to all of those mutual aid societies bearing high sounding titles4 ,i think nothing could have induced her to countenance in any way the numerous orders which prevail so largely among our people1 and she wore no badge1 or jewelry4 ,no rings were on her fingers or in her ears1 and yet she affected no plainness of dress4 ,she repudiated extravagance of all sorts1 and sought to avoid everything which might render her noticeable4 ,after five years of ,christian life and labor she came forward as a candidate for baptism2 for on this subject she entertained peculiar scruples4 ,she was baptised in #ahea1 and surely none could have been more worthy4 ,this rite was performed by ,rev4 ,shepherd ,holcombe in the church of which she had been a member five years4 ,she seems to have consecrated herself most fully to the ,lord1 and although she repudiated the theory of the second blessing1 yet she doubtless enjoyed all that the strongest advocates of that theory claim4 ,she says in a letter dated ,february #acth1 #ahgf1 7see page #cc71 that she had laid all upon the altar1 even her children1 and she did not dare take them off6 ,she counted herself as nothing1 not even worth a sacrifice1 and was certainly all the ,lord's4 ,what does she mean by this8 ,seven days before in a scrap book containing numerous clippings she had written the following3 ,on this #fth day of ,february1 #ahgf1 ,i consecrate myself and all ,i have anew to the ,lord4 ,many years ,i have been ,his2 but ,i renew my covenant4 ,all ,i have1--all my affections1 all my wealth 7what ,i have71 all my labors1 as far as ,i can understand1 are ,his1 to be used for ,his glory4 ,mark1 she says3 ,i consecrate myself1 anew4 ,she had been the ,lord's before1 for many years1 and she now makes no new covenant1 but she renews the old covenant4 ,this was in strict accord with all her previous life1 and although she advanced far towards the heights of holiness1 she always turned away from the theory of special sanctification1 regarding it as an error in doctrine and an unreality in experience2 and yet none could have gone farther in consecration than herself4 ,every word of this declaration is solemn and sincere1 and this consecration is without reserve4 ,here then is what she means by having laid her children on the altar and not daring to take them off4 ,during her remaining days my oldest sister writes3 ,she seemed more devoted1 more perfected to our ,heavenly ,father's will than ever4 ,notwithstanding her feebleness she regularly attended the church on ,sabbath mornings1 and met the ,sunday-school teachers once a week1 going over the lessons and giving much valuable instruction4 ,after the dismission of the morning service on ,sabbath1 she regularly met her class1 and my sister1 whose seat was near hers1 writes3 ,every ,sunday she would say1 ',i am trying to live a ,christian2 ,i wish to die a ,christian and see what the end of a ,christian life will be4' ,on the last ,sunday she met the class1 which was just one week and four days before she died--she seemed if possible1 more devoted than usual and her words impressed me much4 ,i did not think then that ,i should never hear her speak in class again4 ,my mother had read the ,scriptures with great care and was not fully persuaded that infant baptism was therein taught1 and although a ,methodist1 she hesitated to give her children to ,god and the church in this ordinance4 ,of her six children not one was baptised in infancy1 nor did she teach them to say prayers4 ,it required great faith to depart from so general a custom1 but being taught of ,god1 she dared to do it4 ,the reader will observe in my brother's poem1 which actually reproduces the scenes of our childhood1 that there is no picture of a child with clasped hands kneeling down and lisping his evening prayer by his mother's knee4 ,no such picture was common there4 ,early in the days of her life as a mother she abandoned the custom4 ,prayerless the six children went to bed1 and prayerless they went to their daily tasks1 and this not through negligence but through principle4 ,she thought saying prayers a grave species of trifling2 and1 as father worked sometimes nights and sometimes days1 regularity in family prayer1 if desired1 could not be had4 ,i am not certain that it was desired4 ,religion1 not even in its forms1 was forced upon the children but on the contrary it was rendered so attractive1 that the children of that household would crowd around that mother in the evening and tease her to tell them a story4 ,the story would always be told just before bed-time and would be likely to end with a solemn appeal to our consciences1 the reading of a chapter from the old family ,bible1 a prayer and then all the children were hurried to bed4 ,this was not a nightly occurrence1 but seemed wholly dependent upon our asking4 ,the stories were always from the ,bible and to our little minds were wonderfully well told2 often filling us with such hatred toward bad men1 that on seeing their pictures we would wish to destroy them1 and making us cry over those that had suffered4 ,such was the character of the religious training she gave her household4 ,i wish it were possible to obtain one of those stories just as she told it4 ,the nearest approach to anyone of them is the little story about ,,self told with her pen many years later1 when writing was to her a great difficulty1 to two of her grandchildren4 ,while it may be interesting1 ,i am sure it bears but a faint comparison to those that her own children heard in their childhood from her own lips4 ,i had thought to pass over this part of my mother's work for fear it might not be understood2 or that others attempting to imitate her herein might suffer great loss in their families4 ,where the religious care of the children is left to the mother1 and she is not specially gifted1 it is perhaps better to teach by rote and by form2 but where conditions are otherwise1 it is better to teach the children directly the doctrines of religion and let them make their own forms4 ,religion and reverence for ,god and sacred things1 then becomes a part of their nature and is more likely to be sincere4 ,looking upon this life1 shall we ask what there is in it which has won so much ,christian admiration and entitles it to so much praise4 ,i answer1 it is found in her sincerity1 purity and unconquerable faith4 ,she believed ,god and believed every word of ,god4 ,it is found in her abundant ,scriptural knowledge qualifying her to believe intelligently2 in her knowledge of persons acquired by habits of close observation2 her knowledge of history and the natural sciences1 and her general acquaintance with literature4 ,these accomplishments united to the most modest demeanor1 rendered her a woman of note and a ,christian for whom any community1 church or age might have been grateful4 ,it is not mine to estimate her worth or paint her character4 ,the homage which ,i bear her makes all praise seem tame4 ,no words of mine can portray the excellencies which ,i attribute her4 ,i leave therefore1 the work of determining her great moral and ,christian worth to more competent and less partial judges4 ,to be permitted to wreathe any name with such garlands as are brought by the learned1 the eloquent and the honored whose names adorn this book1 is sufficient privilege to me4 ,her earthly fame ,i entrust to their keeping and through them to posterity4 ,she enjoyed the testimony while on earth that her works pleased ,god and to ,him who was her solace and stay in life1 and her rod and staff in death2 who gave her those shining qualities of head and heart1 and preserved her to a life of usefullness1 ,i commend not in hopeless sorrow but in hope of a glorious reunion her immortal and unburdened soul4 ,my task is done4 ,i lay the tribute humble as it is1 and as ,i feel it is1 upon the fresh grave of my departed mother4 ,may her example1 her words1 her suffering1 her triumph1 serve as happy angels1 calling us to a higher and holier life1 and to that reward which awaits on the other side the gates4 ,hear her words when entering death's vale3 ,the gates are hard to open1 but there's glory on the other side6 ,glory on the other side6 ,and hard as it may have seemed to open the gates when at some distance1 ,i doubt not as she drew near them that they opened of their own accord6 ,,reminiscence ,,of ,,the ,,life ,,and ,,death ,,of ,mrs4 ,rebecca ,steward1 ,,by ,,bishop ,,jabez ,p4 ,,campbell1 ,d4 ,d4 ,,mrs4 ,,rebecca ,,steward1 wife of ,james ,steward1 was the daughter of ,benjamin and ,phoebe ,gould1 of ,bridgeton1 ,cumberland ,county1 ,n4 ,j4 ,she was born ,may #b;d1 #ahbj4 ,her father1 ,benjamin ,gould1 was the son of ,abijah ,gould1 whose father's name was ,benjamin1 who was either the son or grandson of ,elizabeth1 a granddaughter of ,sir ,john ,fenwick1 one of the proprietors of ,new ,jersey in its early colonial times4 ,rebecca1 the subject of this sketch1 was married to ,james ,steward in #ahch1 by the ,rev4 ,vansant1 of the ,m4 ,e4 ,church4 ,the fruit of this marriage were six children2 a boy and a girl alternately1 all of whom are now living4 ,the early educational advantages of ,mrs4 ,steward were those afforded by the township school4 ,here she became a good ,english scholar1 and supplemented the instruction1 thus received1 by extensive reading2 so that she became proficient1 both as a writer and a conversationalist4 ,she was converted and joined the ,a4 ,m4 ,e4 ,church1 at ,gouldtown1 in #ahdf4 ,in #ahfi commenced her physical suffering1 which1 at times was so acute1 as to carry her to the very portal of the grave4 ,what she said upon religious subjects was of the most earnest character4 ,when her children were even very young1 it was her usual custom to read to them from the ,bible such portions as would impress upon their minds the divine lessons of this ,holy ,book2 and instil into their plastic hearts1 line upon line1 and precept upon precept2 and1 after thus reading and explaining1 she would kneel with them and plead with ,god to guide them by ,his heavenly ,light6 ,one evening1 in the midst of these devout exercises1 and while asking ,god for ,his guidance1 her husband entered the room1 and then and there1 for the first time1 bowed in prayer with his family4 ,but a short time after this occurrence1 her husband and ,mr4 ,abel ,lee1 the father of ,president ,lee1 of ,wilberforce ,university1 were both converted and united with the ,church4 ,lamartine relates in his opening chapter of his ,voyage to the ,holy ,land1 that the desire1 to make the journey1 was awakened in his mind by his mother's ,bible lessons4 ,he stated that his reward for a good lesson1 was to be permitted to see the pictures of an illustrated ,bible1 and hear from his good mother's lips the history and explanations of these pictures4 ,is it necessary to be said1 that we can see the effect of ,rebecca ,steward's ,bible lessons upon the minds of her children1 in giving them an impulse to seek for things divine8 ,from #ahfi to #ahgb1 two of her sons were in the ,south1 one in ,georgia and the other in ,florida1 viz43 ,william and ,theophilus 7,rev4 ,t4 ,g4 ,steward74 ,they visited the paternal roof once a year4 ,when their visit had terminated1 and they were about to depart1 she would bid them adieu with cheerful words1 and an invocation to heaven to bless them2 she would urge them back to their posts of duty1 beseeching them to be pious men1 and in all things labor for the honor and glory of ,god1 and be not dismayed if a messenger should come to them1 saying3 ,mother is done suffering4 ,she would say3 ,the ,good ,man would keep her safely and take her home in ,his own good time4 ,the premonition of a sudden death was constantly before her2 but this was no evidence that it created fear2 for she was on a ,rock4 ,a few evenings previous to her death1 she said1 with a tender smile3 ,children1 you will look for me in the morning1 but mother will not be here4 ,she was fully prepared to meet ,death1 but he came not then4 ,a few days after this she was seized with such violent spasms as to destroy consciousness2 but1 when the spasms had passed1 and her consciousness had returned1 and observing that her husband and the children1 who were at her bedside1 were sore distressed1 and that her husband had telegraphed to ,new ,york for ,theophilus1 and to ,philadelphia for ,william1 the latter a clerk in the ,a4 ,m4 ,e4 ,book ,room1 and the former had just closed his ,pastorate of the ,bridge ,st4 ,a4 ,m4 ,e4 ,church1 ,brooklyn1 ,n4 ,y41 she chided her husband1 by saying1 that it was not worth while to worry and distress them4 ,then1 after telling her husband to meet her in heaven1 she expired in the arms of her oldest daughter4 ,taine1 whose illustrations of individual or natural characteristics have been unequalled1 has said1 with much force1 that behind the fossil there was an animal1 and that behind the old1 faded manuscript there was a man2 and we know the man and his peculiarities from the manuscript4 ,for such axiomatic expressions as these1 ,taine has been applauded by the most learned of every land4 ,yet1 to a ,bible reader1 axioms as forcible as ,taine's1 stand conspicuous throughout the sacred pages4 ,a man is known by his works4 ,do we gather figs from thistles8 ,can an impure fountain send forth sweet water8 are ,bible axioms4 ,we have been led to the above digression from the facts related to us2 because1 behind these facts1 we shall show there existed no ordinary woman4 ,though descended from what might be claimed as the aristocracy of one of the original thirteen ,states1 a ,state as proud of its ancestry as the most pretentious1 she assumed no aristocratic prerogatives2 but1 among the humblest1 still showed herself to be a ,christian woman1 in the full significance of these words2 and1 if she claimed homage1 it was conceded to her spontaneously by the right of her mental adornments and the graces of an unsullied ,christian life4 ,here mankind are beginning1 though late1 to concede all the distinctive traits of preeminence4 ,rebecca ,steward was a woman of extraordinary ability1 and possessed some of the most excellent qualities of both heart and mind4 ,eulogy will not appear to be exaggeration1 when pronounced in the presence of those who knew her2 and they will unanimously declare1 that she feared ,god and loved her race4 ,none were her superiors1 and few were her equals4 ,she was not influenced by the arbitrary rules conceived in prejudice of caste or race2 her sympathies were as wide as humanity1 and as uncontaminated as a child's2 her sympathies were guided by her judgements1 and her judgements were made clear by the teachings of the hand of ,god1 and not warped by the infections of exclusiveness4 ,gifted with a mind of ceaseless activity1 comprehensive observation1 and the most placid reflection1 she yet possessed a head whose capacious breadth could feel the pulsations of an humble heart4 ,in whatever class1 or position1 or society she was cast1 she was equally at home2 with the refined and intellectual1 she ranked their peer2 to the ignorant1 poor1 and lowly1 she was a helping hand1 and a guiding voice to a higher life4 ,her conversations were distinguished by freedom of language and the appropriate words in which she clothed her thoughts4 ,she shunned the stilted words of the pedant as she conversed to communicate thoughts and principles4 ,she did not read to treasure ideas and sentiments for her own selfish1 personal or mental amusements1 but she read and thought1 that she might communicate to others that which she read2 and thus1 here and there1 plant a seed1 whose unending product could be estimated alone before the throne of ,god4 ,she was generous with her thoughts as with her means2 and they who needed either1 received freely and liberally1 as she herself had received most liberally from the bounteous ,giver4 ,charlotte ,brunte is often cited as an example of how much can be accomplished by the mind1 even when the body is afflicted4 ,rebecca ,steward inherited a delicate constitution2 but1 notwithstanding1 the superiority of her intellect so husbanded the physical strength1 as to enable her in her mental achievements to compensate for a weak body4 ,her mind seized upon thoughts with marvelous facility2 and religious thoughts were the permeating influence that flowed continually through her life4 ,her influence has been left upon all who came in contact with her2 and her influences were constantly on the side of her divine ,master1 from whose inspired ,book she drew the web and woof of her most remarkable and impressive conversations2 and she seemed to have relied implicitly upon the words3 ,open thy mouth and ,i will fill it4 ,unassuming in all she did2 free to give expression to her thoughts2 steadfast in faith2 with such an abundance of those qualities that adorn humanity1 that we cannot enumerate them2 she was one of those of whom the world is not worthy2 and therefore1 ,god took her from the evil to come4 ,dear reader1 in the life and character of this beloved ,christian woman1 we have a most happy illustration of ,christian faith and practice4 ,in it all the ,christian graces are seen to shine most conspicuously4 ,i repeat1 in her life the ,christian graces of faith1 hope and charity1 or the love of ,god and humanity1 had a most happy illustration4 ,go thou and do likewise1 and ,god shall reward thee as ,he rewarded her4 ,may the grace of ,god enable thee so to do1 is the prayer of thy friend and brother1 ,,jabez ,p4 ,,campbell4 ,,philadelphia1 ,,pa41 ,,august #bj,,th1 #ahgg4 ,,my ,,recollections ,,of ,rebecca ,steward1 ,,by ,,professor ,b4 ,f4 ,,lee1 ,president of ,wilberforce ,university4 ,among the persons earliest and dearest in my recollections is she1 whose name stands at the head of this article4 ,in my childhood1 ,i associated her with my highest ideas of perfection2 in my youth1 ,i looked upon her as one especially interested in my well-being and well-doing2 in my manhood ,i knew her to be a devoted ,christian1 who was always anxious for all men to know ,christ and to keep ,his commandments1 and ,i never thought otherwise than that she was praying for my success4 ,this has often stimulated me to perseverence and hope in good works1 while it has kept me from many snares4 ,my aunt had an aptness in dealing with and managing children1 which made them feel easy in her presence2 rendered her instructions impressive1 her society agreeable1 her manners attractive1 and her authority respectable to them4 ,she possessed a form1 general appearance and features1 which would have given grace and honor to any position ever filled by woman2 while she possessed a native intellect1 which had reached that state of culture in which human life appears to best advantage1 and which1 had she sought it1 would have admitted her to the higher circles of life4 ,her ideas of life and things were clear1 reasonable and definite2 while her appreciation of the worth and object of life was highly philosophic and ,christian4 ,she always breathed the purest atmosphere her circumstances and state admitted4 ,it seemed to me that no one could soar higher upon the strength of similar conditions than she4 ,it is one of the finest points in the philosophy of life1 to know where to place the lever in order to gain the greatest advantage of the weight1 this she seemed to me to nearly always know1 and1 consequently to carry the burdens of life with comparative ease4 ,when ,i was left at ten years of age an orphan1 she gave me many items of advice and encouragement1 which were as precious ointment to my soul2 when ,i lay on what ,i supposed was a death bed1 she knew how to talk with me and how to pray for me1 so as to impress me with her sympathy for me and true faith in ,god4 ,i can never forget those days of my fearful looking for the messenger1 death1 when ,i was without hope and ,god in the world4 ,my dear aunt would say to me1 when the physician thought ,i would hardly recover3 ,frank1 ,i think you will get well4 ,i believe ,god has a great work for you4 ,i can see it4 ,he will raise you up if you will only trust ,him4 ,then she would bring duty right to my heart1 urge me to trust1 faith1 and repentance towards ,god4 ,how well ,i remember her asking1 with the tears streaming down her cheeks3 ,now1 ,frank1 can't you see ,jesus in this8 the blessed word which she had been reading4 ,can't you look right to him and live8 ,then1 after it pleased ,god to allow me to get well1 she never forgot me1 but always urged me to give myself up to ,christ1 pointing out to me the narrow escape which ,i had made1 praying and agonizing with me2 so that to-day1 whatever ,i am for humanity and ,god1 ,i owe largely to that sainted woman1 as ,god's instrument4 ,at the head of the domestic circle1 with my uncle1 she appeared to have a clear and high notion of home economy4 ,her house was a house of order1 pleasure1 books1 the ,bible1 religion1 and prayer4 ,every member of her family was taught that noble and divine idea of liberty in love4 ,the erring were made to feel the weight of guilt keenly1 and the force of love deeply4 ,the well disposed were not flattered to ruin1 but urged to grace4 ,she reared her children for heaven and ,god4 ,if any of them should fail to enjoy the end of her life in their behalf1 she will still have her reward4 ,in a letter to me1 immediately subsequent to the marriage of her youngest child1 she said3 ,i have raised a family of six children4 ,i had long set up in my house an altar to ,god to which we all came1 but now1 thank ,god1 we have seven altars set up to ,him4 ,how great must have been the satisfaction of seeing every one of her children not only settled in life1 but given to ,god4 ,train up a child in the way he should go1 and when he is old he will not depart from it1 is well verified in this case4 ,there was an air of grace and light in her house1 which no one could fail to observe1 after a very short residence in her family4 ,discussion of general topics was free and intelligent4 ,happy expressions showed that their source was happy hearts4 ,the books on her shelves1 though not so numerous as in many houses1 yet were of the best and from the finest authors4 ,i infer1 though ,i never heard her say so1 that ,burns was one of her favorites among the poets4 ,in social life my aunt had few superiors4 ,she took a broad view of the state and wants of her community1 and was1 therefore1 one of its leading and most useful members4 ,her opinions1 with regard to matters of general interest1 were highly respected1 and her advice often sought4 ,while she was earnestly and plainly ,christian in all her thoughts and actions1 yet she was not of a sad temperament4 ,this made her able to direct the thoughts of others in the proper way4 ,in the church she was for the last twenty-five years of her life an abiding and faithful ,christian4 ,i have never met with any one who had clearer views of the life and work of faith4 ,some of the most comfortable1 consoling1 and impressive conversations ,i have ever had with ,christians1 ministers not excepted1 have been with her4 ,her experience was rich1 because she had cherished it as from ,god4 ,the latter part of her life was attended with great suffering1 yet she would not complain1 but was made perfect through suffering and allowing patience to have its perfect work4 ,she had learned how to endure hardness as a good soldier of ,jesus ,christ4 ,i have made it a rule for ten or twelve years to write to my aunt as soon as ,i returned home from watch-meetings4 ,in this correspondence she has given me much advice and encouragement in the walks of ,christianity2 telling me of her own experience in suffering and trusting1 in the true spirit of ,christian heroism1 always expressing herself as only awaiting the ,lord's call4 ,these letters have been to me as angel's whispers1 as heavenly messengers1 telling me how to live1 how to wait and trust1 and ,i might add1 showing me how to die unto the world daily4 ,with reference to the doctrine of holiness of heart1 in my opinion1 she was perfectly clear1 practical1 and scriptural4 ,by practical1 ,i mean in experience and in practice4 ,her utter rejection of human perfection1 but full faith in ,christian perfection1 ,i think in perfect keeping with the teachings of the holy ,scriptures4 ,she knew the truth1 and the truth made her free4 ,i have never heard one word of her latest testimony to the saving power of the blood of ,jesus1 but1 without hearing this1 ,i venture the assertion that she died rich in faith and abundantly sustained by grace4 ,o how sweetly1 years before she died1 have ,i heard her repeat the consoling words3 ,i know that my ,redeemer liveth6 7,o1 these blessed words6 more than all the words addressed to the human hearts by all religions outside of ours71 and ,i am striving to make my calling and elections sure1 ,i am pressing towards the mark1 etc4 ,these added to what ,i know of her life1 are enough to assure me of her safe passage over the dark stream4 ,in the loss of her1 ,gouldtown has lost one of its stays and guides2 the world1 an eminent woman1 one of its greatest1 because one of its best1 and the church one of its most valiant soldiers4 ,as for myself1 ,i feel to weep with her children in the loss of a spiritual mother1 as well as a beloved and highly respected aunt4 ,let her memory be dear to us1 and her exemplary life be to us one of those lights which illuminate the path of the just1 shining more and more1 until the perfect day4 ,with my grandmother1 my aunt ,tamson1 my own dear father1 and the millions of sainted dead1 let her body rest and her soul enjoy the eternal bliss of the promises and the ,god of the promises4 ,mrs4 ,rebecca ,steward ,,by ,,benj4 ,t4 ,,tanner1 ,d4,d4 ,exactly when or where the writer first made the acquaintance of the subject of this memoir1 is forgotten2 but he deems himself exceedingly fortunate in the fact itself4 ,to know ,rebecca ,steward now1 may not seem much2 but in after years1 when the real greatness of her character will have become known1 as we doubt not it will1 to have known her1 will be accounted a most happy incident in one's life4 ,it is so easy to talk of personal greatness1 when the fact is1 the truly great are as rare as purest diamond4 ,not one in a thousand approach it2 not one in ten thousand attain to it1 or1 more properly speaking1 possess it--for it is a thing of possession1 rather than of acquirement4 ,be it born in you1 you have it4 ,if not1 not4 ,for while there may be a tide in the affairs of men1 which lead on to fortune1 there is no such tide to a greatness that is real4 ,of the few really great souls whom it has been our privilege to know1 ,mrs4 ,rebecca ,steward was the peer of any4 ,in a very broad sense she was a great woman4 ,as a daughter she was great in dutiful affection2 as a sister1 in the very broadest sympathy2 as a wife1 in her incomparable fidelity2 and as a mother1 in a patience that knew no bounds4 ,it need not1 however1 be expected1 that any stranger could sound the depth of her nature1 in the above mentioned spheres4 ,the qualities we have presumed to mention1 were those that floated upon the surface of her life1 and1 like sweetest water lily1 must need attract the attention of the passer by4 ,it is as a friend and as a member of the ,african ,methodist ,episcopal ,church1 that the writer himself knew her1 and in both which spheres she was eminently great4 ,so vivid1 indeed1 are the remembrances of the friendship that existed between her and ours1 in view of her sudden demise1 we find most pertinent the words of ,montgomery3 ,friend after friend departs1 ,who hath not lost a friend8 ,there is no union here of hearts ,that finds not here an end2 ,were the frail world our only rest1 ,living or dying1 none were blest4 ,when the sad announcement of her death was made at our own dear fireside1 ,dead6 ,dead1 ,papa6 were the only words that first passed from lip to lip1 while a silence ensued that was painful4 ,but the real greatness of soul we purpose noticing1 was that that evidenced itself in regard to the ,church of her choice4 ,a more zealous ,african ,methodist never lived4 ,she had convictions in regard to the work and the economy of the ,church organized by ,allen1 and these shaped her every course in life4 ,nothing could turn her against the organization itself4 ,her love towards it was proof against episcopal misjudgment or pastoral insufficiency4 ,she looked from men to principles4 ,though exceedingly intelligent1 she shrank not back from identifying herself with a class1 known to be generally ignorant4 ,well to do in the affairs of this world1 she was content to remain as the equal of the poor4 ,and lastly1 it might be in place to mention a peculiarity of the locality in which this very attachment to a despised ,church was evidenced4 ,the reader of this volumn will already have learned that ,gouldtown1 ,n4 ,j41 is a peculiar place4 ,of descent in blood by no means low1 and of the strongest ,presbyterian proclivities1 the ,goulds have ever been thought exceedingly conservative--utterly free from that fire which many suppose to be the substance of ,methodism4 ,upon the correctness of this thought it is no intention of ours to pronounce4 ,sufficient is it to say1 that the general bearing of the community1 secular and spiritual1 is in keeping with their recognized descent and religious bias4 ,such being the case1 the wonder is that they should have maintained their identity with the ,african ,methodist ,episcopal ,church4 ,nor is it certain that they would1 had it not been for the uncompromising zeal of the subject of this volume1 who ever stood like a very breakwater in its defence4 ,when we call to mind the scores of our people who have left us1 on account of our ignorance1 our poverty1 and our color1 the fidelity of ,rebecca ,steward is but an indication of that greatness of soul with which we credit her1 and which is yet to be the admiration of generations unborn4 ,from our heart we say3 ,requiescat in pace4 ,mrs4 ,rebecca ,steward ,,by ,,rev4 ,t4 ,,gould4 ,what ,i have to say is after thirty years' observation1 to say nothing of my early boyhood days1 when ,i used to visit her house with my father1 who esteemed her as his own daughter and her husband as his own son4 ,to me they both seemed as elder brother and sister4 ,it appears to me that ,i can remember when ,i knew but little difference between her husband and my own brothers4 ,he being the oldest and the first married out of the household1 to me it was my oldest brother getting married1 and ,i was wonderfully well pleased with his wife4 ,when father would say ,theodore1 ,i guess we will go and see ,james and ,beckie to-day1 it was a grand treat for me1 for ,i knew1 boy like1 ,i was going to get something good to eat4 ,father having lost his eye-sight1 of course some one must lead him1 and this was my lot1 and ,i have many a time heard her read the news and books of interest to him4 ,to visit them was pleasant to him to the day of his death4 ,although he lived to have eight children married1 7four boys and four girls71 ,i do not think he had a son-in-law or a daughter-in-law whom he esteemed higher than he did the boy who spent fifteen or sixteen years under his roof and the lady of his choice4 ,in #ahdf ,i united with the church of which she was a member1 and from that time to the day of her death1 ,i looked up to her for that advice and counsel which had much to do with shaping my early life4 ,and if ,i have been worth anything to the church as a minister1 her prayers1 instructions and counsel have helped to mould me into what ,i am4 ,i shall ever thank ,god for permitting me to have the association of this ,christian woman1 whose very breath seemed to be perfumed with the odor of heaven1 for her daily food was ,god's word4 ,she was a ,bible student2 and in the ,bible history was so well informed and upon all the cardinal points of ,bible doctrine1 and the current or popular questions of the day1 that a very eminent and learned bishop said to me several years ago after paying her a short visit1 ,no one can possibly spend five minutes in conversation with ,sister ,steward without being edified4 ,another intelligent minister said to me1 ,sister ,steward is one of the best read women ,i ever had the favor of conversing with4 ,to the church she was a pillar4 ,she was among the few that were found at the prayer meeting and ,sabbath-school1 and was always aiming to do something for the ,master's cause4 ,as a wife and mother1 ,i can only say few husbands are favored as was her's4 ,no woman could possibly be more interested in the welfare of her husband's business than she was4 ,she was a helpmeet in every sense of the word to her husband4 ,to my mind but few children among us have been favored as were her's4 ,i doubt not but there are many lessons now fresh in their minds which she taught them1 which1 if treasured up1 will add to their present1 future1 and eternal happiness4 ,oh1 that we had more mothers like her6 whose devotion to their children would extort from their lips the words of ,sister ,steward4 ,in conversing with her one day1 some years since1 when the children were getting pretty well grown1 she exclaimed1 ,oh1 the souls of my children6 ,oh1 what would ,i do if one of them should be lost6 ,they are all good children1 but the ,saviour says1 'ye must be born again1' that is what ,i want2 to see them converted is my constant prayer to ,god4 ,oh1 it is the burden of my heart4 ,and more than once have we knelt in prayer together that she might enjoy the pleasure of seeing all of her children converted4 ,years passed1 and one by one they came in4 ,i had not seen her for some time1 but after the usual salutations among the first things said was3 ,thank ,god6 ,he has let me live to see all my children converted and in the church6 ,my prayers are answered4 ,thank ,god6 ,the whole family is in the ark2 what a happy woman ,i am6 ,it was my privilege to visit her during several severe spells of sickness4 ,i have the first time yet to hear her murmur or complain2 but ,i have often heard her say3 ,these light afflictions which are but for a moment1 are working for me a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory4 ,my work is patience was a familiar word with her in affliction4 ,to me she always seemed cheerful when she was in the furnace1 and it was her lot to be often there4 ,she has been a great sufferer1 and yet1 there seemed to be something in her experience that impressed me that she was keeping up a terrible fight to get the victory until her last sickness1 which lasted between three and four years4 ,she said to me one day during that period3 ,thank ,god1 ,i have got where ,i have long desired to be2 that is1 where ,i can trust ,god for all things4 ,she said some of her happiest hours were spent in the sick-room4 ,the devotion to her aged and infirm mother1 who had been confined to her room for twenty-six years1 with but little exception1 was marked and intense4 ,when her health and circumstances would permit1 she has walked the mile1 between her house and her mother's1 back and forth1 two and three times a week1 to assist in making her mother comfortable4 ,it appears that a wonderful providence was attending her life1 and preparing her to depart to that ,better ,land4 ,it seems that the ,master was sparing her to see her mother of ninety years close her eyes before ,he called her to that blessed reward with that sainted mother1 who went three weeks before her1 and a dear sister1 who had gone a day before her mother4 ,oh1 what a blessed meeting there must have been1 when they met in that heavenly land2 where affliction and sorrow are all over1 and where the dead in ,christ rest from their labors and their works follow them6 ,aunt ,rebecca ,steward ,,by ,,mrs4 ,,elizabeth ,,lloyd4 7,,niece47 ,i cannot remember the time when ,i did not love and revere ,aunt ,rebecca2 but my most precious remembrances of her are connected with the sabbath school1 where1 to my mind1 she was incomparable2 and even now1 after the lapse of twenty-five years1 the precious lessons that she taught her class are still in my mind and heart1 and have greatly influenced my life and kept me from forbidden paths4 ,you must know1 as long as ,i attended ,gouldtown ,sunday ,school1 which was from the reorganization of the school 7which1 under ,god1 was wholly through ,aunt ,rebecca's influence71 ,i was a member of her class4 ,there was one lesson that she used frequently give us1 from the second chapter of first ,peter1 it seems to me1 that ,i shall ever remember4 ,with what earnestness and with what solemnity did she strive to enforce its beautiful teachings upon our hearts4 ,again ,i remember one particular lesson she gave personally to me1 and1 as ,i remember it well yet1 it must prove how faithful she was in teaching4 ,among her very words were3 ,search the ,scriptures1 and may they make you wise unto salvation6 ,may they be a guide to your feet and a light to your path1 and may your sins be blotted out6 ,very likely ,aunt ,rebecca had forgotten it long since1 but ,i never have4 ,when ,i was fifteen years of age1 ,i was strongly exercised in mind about salvation1 and it was ,aunt ,rebecca who helped me then2 and ever since1 in my somewhat chequered life1 my heart has always turned to her1 and1 ,i must say1 that never once have ,i left her presence without feeling better1 stronger1 and wiser4 ,she was a kind of inspiration to me4 ,i have gone to her when ,i have felt that ,i was in the depths1 and have left1 feeling as if ,i could brave all things1 and endure all things for the love of ,christ4 ,i have been so comforted by her words of wisdom and encouragement1 and1 sometimes1 by her words of reproof also2 for she never failed in her gentle1 sweet1 and yet decided manner in telling me wherein she thought ,i was wrong1 for which to-day ,i thank her4 ,in one instance1 ,i went to her1 overwhelmed with my sorrow1 and ready to despair2 she reflected a while1 and then asked3 ,if ,i had ever prayed for ,c----8 ,i found that ,i never had4 ,she showed me my duty in such a plain way1 and said1 that if ,i prayed for him1 that ,i would not have such bitter feelings2 and how earnestly she entreated me to begin praying for him4 ,among the words she used1 were3 ,you could not bear to see that man lost1 cut off from ,christ forever4 ,think of the relationship he holds to yourself and your children4 ,you must pray for him6 ,this was four years ago1 but the seed1 that was sown that day1 is still bearing fruit1 and ,i have been blessed myself while praying for him4 99 99 99 99 ,i now know that she had been taught of ,christ4 ,when ,i lost my little girl1 ,annie1 though she was unable to walk without a staff1 like an angel of mercy1 she came to me in my sorrow1 and prayed and talked with me1 and now1 my more than aunt1 my almost mother1 who1 or what will fill your place to me8 ,with tears in my eyes1 and pain in my heart1 ,i ask who8 ,ever since ,i can remember1 ,i have gone to you with what ,i could not go to any one else2 always sure of a loving welcome1 and always the gainer1 through your words of wisdom6 ,oh6 how ,i loved ,aunt ,rebecca6 ,i remember1 when she was confined to her room so long1 of her once saying to me1 that she often prayed for me4 ,i was overcome to tears1 thinking how good1 how charitable she was1 to remember me in her afflictions4 ,that parlor seemed to me then1 and has ever since1 like the gate of heaven and house of prayer4 ,when ,i think of my dear aunt's goodness1 and of her truly noble womanhood1 of her grand intellect1 and1 withal1 of her sweet humility1 of her perfect faith and trust1 and obedience to the ,father's will1 and of how she labored for the advancement of ,christ's ,kingdom1 ,i can but say3 ,many daughters have done virtuously1 but thou excellest them all4 ,she never lost an opportunity of saying a word for ,jesus1 and no one ever came near her influence1 without knowing1 that she had learned of ,christ4 ,i never remember of asking for instruction of her1 upon any subject1 without getting it2 and ,i have heard many others say the same4 ,it seemed to me1 that she always had a word in season4 ,she was certainly the most self-sacrificing of any woman that ,i ever knew4 ,she was always willing to do good1 no matter at what expense to the body1 if she could2 and1 it seemed to me1 that she was always looking for an opportunity4 ,in the purity and loftiness1 and expansiveness of her nature1 there was no room for that narrow-minded selfishness1 which cannot rejoice with those that do rejoice4 ,of her it can be truly said3 ,,she ,,loved ,,her ,,neighbor ,,as ,,herself2 and she was pleased with the advancement of every one4 ,as long1 and as well as ,i have known her1 ,i have never known her to speak of the shortcomings of others1 only1 in what seems to me1 as the highest and broadest charity of a pure-minded christian woman1 with sorrow and regret that they had so failed4 ,another admirable trait was her straightforwardness4 ,her clear insight1 that seemed to grasp and hold the most difficult truths1 while the rest of us were struggling with doubts and fears1 scarcely telling gold from dross1 led her to seize always the pure gold4 ,truly1 she was ever ready for every good word and labor of love4 ,i call to mind deeds of charity1 of which the world knows nothing1 which greatly benefitted the recipients2 and her ever ready sympathies with the wants and woes of others1 assures me1 that she won the approbation of ,him1 who said3 ,inasmuch1 as ye have done it to one of the least of these1 my disciples1 ye have done it unto me4 ,dear cousin1 there may be many more learned and eloquent tributes paid to your mother's memory1 but none can be more loving than mine2 and1 if you will permit this letter 7crude ,i know1 for ,i am not accustomed to writing out my thoughts71 to share a place among them1 ,i shall feel honored4 ,your cousin1 ,,lib4 ,,part ,,ii4 ,containing3 ,two ,years on the ,brink of ,jordan1 with ,letters on ,sanctification and a ,story for ,little ,folks2 the last named written expressly for ,two ,little ,nephews1 ,,by ,,mrs4 ,,rebecca ,,steward4 ,,two ,,years ,,on ,,the ,,brink ,,of ,,jordan4 ,early one spring morning1 as ,i was going about my work1 a messenger arrived1 saying my ,father wanted me4 ,so ,i made haste and finished up all my work1 looked over my wardrobe1 picked out and packed up such articles as ,i thought ,i should need1 and started on my journey1 my guide going on before4 ,we had not traveled far before we came to a broad1 dark river1 whose waters at the time were very much swollen4 ,my guide said1 ,i would have to wait awhile till a ferryboat could come and take me across2 so ,i sat down on the bank of the river and began musing4 ,the river1 though so dark and swollen1 did not look so dreary1 for my guide had given me a telescope1 through which ,i could look away beyond and see my ,father's ,house1 which was illuminated with glory and light2 and the light from that far mansion shone over the river and the dark valley all around4 ,while ,i sat there musing1 the boat came1 but not for me2 there were other friends there1 the ,father had sent for before me2 but he sent me this comforting message3 ,i will never leave thee1 nor forsake thee1 and my soul answered3 ,all the days of my appointed time will ,i wait till my change comes4 7,job iv41 #ad47 ,and so for many days ,i sat there waiting and musing2 again and again the boat came and went1 friend after friend passed over1 but still the message came not for me4 ,at length ,i began to grow weary and impatient2 to neglect my ,father's business2 saying my ,lord delays his coming2 then came this quiet reproval3 ,ye have need of patience1 that after ye have done the will of ,god1 ye might receive the promise4 ,for yet a little while and ,he that is to come will come and will not tarry4 7,heb4 ix41 #cf1 #cg47 ,after this gentle reproof1 ,i felt ashamed and strove to humble myself under the mighty hand of ,god1 and in due time ,he did build me up1 for my guide advised me to take my telescope and take another look towards my ,father's ,house4 ,i did so1 and the sight gave me new vigor1 for ,i could see all the surroundings of my ,home4 ,i could see its beautiful gardens1 all its choicest fruit and its sweetest flowers2 and flowing through the midst of the garden ,i could see the pure river of the ,water of ,life1 which watered and enlivened every plant that grew in the garden2 and on either side of the river stood the ,tree of life1 which bore twelve manner of fruit1 and yielded her fruit every month1 and the leaves of the tree were good for the healing of the nations2 then there was the sweet ,lilly of the ,valley1 in its humble innocence sending up its rich perfume2 then the ,rose of ,sharon was there1 whose odor filled the air with sweetness1 and the ,birds of ,paradise were there1--those sweet little songsters that the ,father had brought from the cold1 sterile regions beyond ,jordan1 and placed in ,his beautiful garden4 ,they were busily flitting from branch to branch1 warbling forth their sweetest notes1 and making the air resound with their music4 ,some of them ,i thought ,i almost knew1 by the mark of their feathers4 ,as ,i sat gazing1 the river that before had been so swollen1 seemed to subside and become very narrow1 and seemed as if ,i had nothing to do1 but get up and walk across2 but my guide detained me1 saying3 ,if ye be willing and obedient1 ye shall in due time eat the good of the land1 but if disobedient1 the sword of the enemy shall devour you4 99 99 99 99 99 ,being still detained and feeling somewhat weary1 ,i laid me down and slept1 and awoke again1 for the ,lord sustained me4 ,on awaking1 ,i took up my telescope to take another look across1 but ,i only had it adjusted to my eye1 when ,i again discovered the ferryboat in the distance4 ,this time ,i thought surely it was coming for me1 and began to look around and make all things ready for departure2 but again ,i was doomed to disappointment4 ,the boat came1 but not for me this time either2 another friend must go before me1 one whom the ,father thought more weak and needy than ,i4 ,and as ,he saw me begin to grieve and fret1 ,he sent me another comforting message1 saying3 ,i will not leave the comfortless1 in the sixth trial2 and in the seventh1 ,i will not leave thee nor forsake thee4 ,then again my soul replied1 ,i will fear no evil2 in ,god alone will ,i put my trust4 ,when ,i found ,i had to wait awhile longer1 ,i thought ,i would look around on this side of ,jordan1 for ,i had been so anxious to get home to my ,father's ,house1 and so busy looking beyond1 that ,i had not noticed anything on this side so much2 and in the glory of light that beamed across the river1 ,i had not noticed the poisonous flowers that spread their baneful influence over all the land1 or the muddy1 filthy pools1 sending up their miasmatic odors1 poisoning the air2 and while ,i was looking1 with shame let me say it1 poisonous as were those flowers1 noxious as was the vapor from the pools1 ,i began to be interested in them1 and to seek after them2 so much so1 that my guide said softly in my ear3 ,watch and pray1 lest ye enter into temptation4 7,matt4 xxvi41 #da47 ,but ,i was so engrossed with the flowers1 and the whisper came so softly1 that ,i did not heed it1 but kept on going farther away from the river1 losing sight more and more of my ,father's ,house4 ,again my guide called after me1 but this time in louder tones3 ,therefore be ye also ready1 for in such an hour as ye think not the ,son of ,man cometh4 7,matt4 xxvi41 #bd47 ,but still1 strange as it may seem1 and as ungrateful as it appears after the pleasant view ,i had had of my ,father's ,house1 and the soothing promises he had given me1 such is perverse human nature1 that ,i paid but little heed1 but still wandered on1 plucking flowers1 now here1 now there1 'till ,i had gone quite away2 but still my loving ,father would not leave me1 for whom the ,lord loveth he chasteneth1 and on looking up ,i saw my guide approaching with a rod1 which1 when he came near enough1 he laid heavily about me4 ,humbled1 ashamed and bleeding1 he brought me back and laid me exhausted on the bank1 where ,i lay for many days without power to move or courage to look up4 ,although ,i had been so disobedient1 yet was my guide most assiduous in his attentions and care of me1 saying3 ,if ye endure chastening1 ,god dealeth with you as with sons1 for what son is he whom the ,father chasteneth not4 7,heb4 xii41 #gj47 ,and as a father pitieth his children1 so the ,lord pitieth them that love him1 for he knows our frame that we are but dust4 7,ps4 clxxxiii1 #ac47 ,it sorely repented me1 and with the ,psalmist ,i exclaimed3 ,my feet were almost gone1 my steps were well nigh slipped4 7,ps4 lviii1 #b7 ,then ,i began to cry mightily unto the ,lord for help1 and from ,his temple ,he heard me1 and from ,his ,holy ,hill ,he sent me succor4 ,and ,i was comforted by this message3 ,before thou callest ,i will hear thee1 and while thou art yet speaking1 ,i will answer thee4 ,being thus comforted and somewhat strengthened1 my guide advised me to take up my telescope again and take another look across the river4 ,it had been so long since ,i had looked across1 he thought it would do me good1 and so it did2 for as ,i looked the green shores appeared so pleasant and inviting to me1 it made me feel at once like passing over1 and while ,i was gazing ,i saw the boat again leave the shore2 this time ,i thought it would certainly come for me4 ,again ,i gathered up my things making ready to depart1 and many friends gathered around me1 mourning and weeping1 begging me not to go1 but stay with them2 yet ,i was anxious to be gone4 ,many were the petitions that went over to my ,father's ,house to spare me a little longer1 that they could not do without me2 in this ,i could not join them4 ,i could only say3 ,lord let thy will be done4 ,meanwhile the boat came nearer and nearer1 and ,i lay looking1 both hoping and fearing2 hoping it was coming for me1 and fearing it was coming for me2 for like the apostle ,i was in a strait betwixt two3 for me to live is ,christ1 but to die is gain4 7,phil4 vii41 #ba-bc47 ,and ,i suppose that the prayers of tender friends must have prevailed1 for when the boat drew nearer1 ,i found it was not coming for me yet1 but ,i received this message3 ,let ,patience have her perfect work that ye may be perfect and entire1 wanting nothing4 7,james1 i41 #d47 ,from this ,i saw that ,patience was to be my best friend and ,i tried to take her close to my bosom1 and my heart breathed the prayer3 ,lord help me with ,patience to do all thy righteous will concerning me1 and1 as ,i sat there1 with ,patience for my comforter1 ,i grew calm and composed and began to wonder what had become of the boat ,i had seen approaching1 when1 on looking around1 ,i saw it had stopped close by an old friend that had been laying there for a long time2 almost ever since ,i had been there1 and1 while ,i looked1 ,i saw her with a shout spring up and step quickly into the boat4 ,oh6 with what rapture ,i gazed2 and when the boat struck out from the shore ,i could hardly contain myself1 ,i felt ,i really must go too4 ,but ,patience laid her hand on me1 and whispered to me1 to take my telescope and look after them2 and1 as ,i looked1 the boat sprang from the shore with great velocity2 the river seemed to become narrower1 and the light from my ,father's ,temple so illuminated it1 that the darkness had all fled away2 and1 as ,i gazed1 my vision became brighter and brighter1 and my telescope became more powerful1 and it seemed1 ,i might follow the boat with my naked eye1 as it sped its way across1 until it neared the other shore2 and1 as it neared the shore1 ,i saw the pearly gates of my ,father's ,house fly open1 a company came out to meet her1 with songs of welcome1 saying3 ,come ye1 blessed of my ,father1 inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world4 7,math4 xxv41 #cd47 ,so they took hold of her and led her in through the gates2 and1 as they went through1 ,i could hear the warbling of the birds amidst the rustling of the leaves1 and could see the waving grass and sweet flowers1 and the waters rippling along their winding way4 ,as ,i looked1 ,i really thought there were more birds than ,i had ever seen before2 and ,i never heard them sing so sweetly4 ,as ,i gazed upon the shining ones1 ,i tried to see if ,i could recognize any of them2 and ,i thought ,i could see several whose faces were familiar to me there1 and with whom ,i had associated2 and1 while ,i was still looking1 they led her into the vestry2 then ,i lost sight of her awhile2 but1 presently1 they brought her forth clothed in white linen1 pure and clean1 and a palm of victory was placed in her hand2 then ,i saw a greater number come to meet her1 and they all joined in one mighty overpowering song1 saying3 ,salvation to our ,god1 who sitteth on the throne1 and unto the ,lamb4 7,rev4 vii41 #aj47 ,as ,i heard this1 my heart felt like bursting with rapture4 ,o6 how ,i longed to be there6 ,just then the pearly gates swung to1 and ,i could see them no more4 ,when ,i could see no more within1 ,i thought ,i would take a look around and view the holy ground1 and mark well her bulwarks4 ,so ,i looked well around her walls1 and measured her towers1 which ,i found to be very strong1 so that no enemy could prevail against them2 and her walls were great and high1 and ,i found they lay four-square and rested on twelve foundations1 all of them precious stones1 and on each foundation there was a name written1 which1 when ,i had looked more closely1 ,i found to be the names of the twelve tribes of the children of ,israel2 and in each wall ,i saw there were three gates1 and on the gates ,i saw the names of the twelve apostles of the ,lamb2 and1 as ,i still looked1 ,i saw numbers coming and entering in at the gates1 from all parts of the world1 ,east1 ,west1 ,north1 and ,south2 every gate seemed in use1 and with every new arrival there were new songs of praise4 ,as ,i still looked1 ,i discovered1 that all that went over1 did not enter the pearly gates2 but1 instead1 some were hurled over a dreadful precipice1 which lay just below the wall1 and led to a dark1 dreary gulf below1 where the voice of their groanings was dreadful to hear4 ,then ,i asked3 ,who are these8 ,and my guide informed me3 ,these are they that go away into everlasting punishment1 and the smoke of their torment ascends up forever and ever4 ,and now my guide thought ,i had seen quite enough for awhile1 and so had better lie down and rest2 musing on these words3 ,eye hath not seen1 nor ear heard1 neither has it entered the heart of man1 the things which ,god has prepared for them that love ,him4 ,while wondering what more could be for the child of ,god1 than that which my eyes had already seen1 ,i fell asleep4 ,when ,i awoke1 everything looked calm and bright around me2 so ,i thought1 with ,patience1 ,i would take a stroll along the banks1 and see if there were any friends there whom ,i knew2 for ,i saw many had gathered there unobserved1 while ,i had been so deeply interested in what was going on1 on the other side of the river4 ,as ,i went around from one to another1 ,i found several ,i was acquainted with2 some had been waiting for a long time1 others had just arrived4 ,some were waiting with patience1 others were growing very impatient4 ,to while away the time1 and for mutual encouragement1 ,i sat down1 and entered into conversation with some of them4 ,for as iron sharpeneth iron1 so doth a man the face of his friend4 ,some had grown very weary1 and one said3 ,i would have fainted1 unless ,i had believed1 to see the goodness of the ,lord in the land of the living2 and now ,i believe1 that ere long ,i shall see the ,king in his beauty1 for ,i have the promise1 that ,he1 that is to come1 will come1 and will not tarry4 ,and my ,father's command is3 ,wait on the ,lord1 be of good courage2 and also the promise3 ,and ,he shall strengthen thine heart4 ,wait1 ,i say1 on the ,lord4 ,with this ,i felt very much encouraged1 and felt as if ,i too could ,wait on the ,lord4 ,much more encouragement from one and another ,i found1 till presently ,i saw one coming up in great haste1 saying3 ,my ,father has just sent for me in great haste1 and ,i must be gone4 ,have you seen the boat that takes us across8 ,i looked up and saw it coming1 and1 while waiting for it to come to the shore1 ,i asked her at what time the messenger came for her4 ,in the early part of the evening1 she said1 just as she had folded away all her work1 and closed up her house1 and had sit down1 to enjoy a long1 quiet evening1 thinking over those texts of warning3 ,let your loins be girded about you1 and your lights burning4 ,another3 ,be ye also ready2 for in an hour1 when you think not1 the ,son of man cometh4 ,and said she3 ,just while ,i was musing on these things1 there came a knock at the door1 and the messenger came in1 saying3 ,the ,master calleth for thee2 so ,i left all and made great haste to get here4 ,the boat then came alongside2 she sprang in1 and it shot off from the shore like an arrow4 ,again ,i felt as if ,i could not be left behind2 and1 feeling so anxious to go1 ,i almost sprang into the water2 for the river looked so narrow1 and ,i could see the bottom so plain2 it seemed as if ,i could walk across2 but ,patience laid hold of me and gently held me back1 saying3 ,wait on the ,lord1 that the trial of your faith being much more precious than of gold1 that perisheth1 though it be tried with fire1 might be found unto praise and honor and glory at the appearing of ,jesus ,christ4 ,but ,i still felt so homesick and complaining1 that my friend had almost gained the other side1 before ,i had observed it2 so1 then1 ,i thought1 if ,i could not go1 ,i could see across1 and with my telescope ,i could follow her and see her enter the pearly gates2 by this time she had reached the shore1 and ,i saw a great company come out to meet her1 having harps in their hands2 among them were several that ,i knew1 who had journeyed with us through life1 whom ,i had heard many times tell their hopes and fears2 but1 now1 they were safely housed in their ,father's mansion1 never more to go out4 ,as they came to her they commenced chanting3 ,blessed are they that do his commandments2 that they may have a right to the ,tree of ,life1 and may enter in through the gates into the ,city4 ,as they led her through the gates1 ,i again heard the singing of birds2 it seemed to me1 at this time1 they sang louder and sweeter than ever4 ,and amongst them ,i saw three1#a that ,i thought looked more bright and cheerful than the rest4 ,these kept all the time very near her1 sometimes sitting on her shoulders1 sometimes in one place1 then another2 but all the time keeping near her1 and expressing the utmost joy4 ,on examining more closely1 ,i found they were some pets that she had sent to her ,father several years before2 and now they led her into the vestry2 and1 while they were robing her1 as the gates were still ajar1 ,i thought ,i would look further within4 ,so1 by readjusting my telescope1 and increasing its magnifying power1 ,i could see away beyond the walls2 and ,i discovered there many mansions1 that my ,elder ,brother had gone many years ago to prepare1 for all those that love him4 ,i thought1 my sister will soon inhabit one of these mansions1 and1 how long1 ere ,i too shall inhabit one also2 and1 in the anxiety and desire of my soul1 ,i cried3 ,how long1 oh ,lord6 ,then my guide whispered1 reprovingly3 ,in patience possess ye your soul4 ,so1 being comforted1 ,i continued my gaze1 and1 looking further on1 ,i saw a great and high mountain1 which1 my guide told me1 was ,mount ,zion2 and a ,lamb stood on the mountain1 and with him a hundred and forty and four thousands1 having their ,father's name written in their foreheads2 and ,i heard a voice from heaven1 as the voice of many waters1 and as the voice of a great thunder2 and ,i heard the voice of harpers1 harping on their harps2 and1 they sang1 as it were1 a new song before the throne4 7,rev4 xiv41 #a-c47 ,then ,i inquired of my guide who the ,lamb was1 and who was this great company that was with him2 and he said3 ,the ,lamb is ,he that was slain from the foundation of the world1 and they1 that are with him1 are those who follow the ,lamb1 withersoever he goeth2 these were redeemed from among men1 being the first fruits unto ,god and the ,lamb4 ,as ,i listened to their music1 ,i tried to hear what they were singing2 and ,i found they were singing the ,song of ,moses1 the servant of ,god1 and the song of the ,lamb1 saying3 ,great and marvelous are thy ways1 ,lord ,god ,almighty4 ,just and true are thy ways1 thou ,king of ,saints4 ,who shall not fear thee1 ,o ,lord1 and glorify thy name1 for ,thou only art holy2 for all nations shall come and worship before thee1 for thy judgments are made manifest4 7,rev4 xv41 #c1 #d47 #a ,three children that this ,christian mother had buried before4 ,i had become so enraptured with this beautiful sight1 and so charmed with the music1 that ,i had quite forgotten my sister2 but now ,i bethought myself to look for her4 ,i had not looked long1 before ,i discovered her amidst the company of the just made perfect2 and1 ,i thought1 her song was the loudest of any1 as she sang3 ,i have come up through tribulations1 and washed my robes and made them white in the blood of the ,lamb6 ,oh1 how ,i longed to be amongst the heavenly throng2 but just then ,i heard friends calling me on this side1 saying3 ,oh1 be content to stay with us a little longer2 we cannot let you go2 even lying here1 we cannot do without you2 even this is better than not have you at all4 ,the little children came winding themselves around me1 begging me to stay4 ,oh1 they would say1 we do want you to be back among us2 we cannot bear you to leave us4 ,oh6 the power of human love6 ,how my heart was grieved6 ,i was again in a strait betwixt two2 for1 indeed1 ,i felt it better to depart and be with ,christ4 ,but my ,father knew best what he wanted me to do1 so ,he left me the promise3 ,abide in me and ,i will abide in you2 ,i will not leave you comfortless2 ,i will come to you4 ,after this ,i entered into conversation with my guide1 about my friends that had gone over2 said he3 ,how did you know those friends8 ,i answered by asking him another equally important question3 ,how did you know the ,lamb that was slain from the foundation of the world8 ,said he3 ,i knew ,him by the marks in ,his hands and side1 7,john xx41 #bj71 and from what the angels told us when ,he was taken up into heaven and a cloud received him out of sight4 ,this same ,jesus1 said they1 which is taken up from you into heaven1 shall so come in like manner as ye have seen him go into heaven4 7,acts i41 #i47 ,well1 said ,i1 that is just how ,i knew my friends2 by the marks on them4 ,some men will say3 ,how are the dead raised up1 and with what body do they come8 ,thou fool2 that which thou sowest is not quickened1 except it die1 and that1 which thou sowest1 thou sowest not that body that shall be1 but are grain2 it may chance of wheat1 or of some other grain1 but ,god giveth it a body as it hath pleased him1 and to every seed his own body4 ,there are also celestial bodies and bodies terrestial2 but the glory of the celestial is one and the glory of the terrestial is another4 ,there is one glory of the sun and another of the moon1 and another glory of the stars2 for one star differeth from another star in glory1 so also is the resurrection of the dead4 ,it is sown a natural body1 it is raised a spiritual body2 there is a natural body1 and there is a spiritual body4 ,and so it is written1 that the first man1 ,adam1 was made a living soul1 the last ,adam was made a quickening spirit4 ,how be it1 that was not first which is spiritual1 but that which is natural1 and afterward that which is spiritual4 ,the first man is of earth1 earthy1 the second man is the ,lord from heaven4 ,as is the earthy1 such are they also that are earthy2 and as is the heavenly1 such are they also that are heavenly4 ,and as we have born the image of the earthy1 we shall also bear the image of the heavenly4 ,now this ,i say1 brethren1 that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of ,god2 neither doth corruption inherit incorruption4 7#a ,cor4 xv47 ,now this is the way that ,i know them4 ,as the ,lamb that was slain1 took upon him the image of the earth1 earthy1 the form of a servant1 so do they take upon them the image of the ,lord from heaven2 and1 as you have shown me the ,lamb1 ,i cannot be mistaken in them1 and ,i think when ,i look again1 ,i shall find many more that ,i have known2 for ,i think ,i know what kind of seed they were1 and from every seed ,i look for its own plant4 ,then said my guide3 ,who else do you think you will find there1 besides your immediate friends8 ,i answered3 ,i think ,i shall see ,moses and ,elijah1 from the fact that they were seen with my ,saviour on the ,mount of ,transfiguration2 and ,god is not the ,god of the dead1 but of the living4 ,and ,i think ,i shall see ,abraham1 because ,christ himself says the rich man saw him with ,lazarus in his bosom4 ,and ,i shall see ,israel1 for the ,revelator tells me that he saw one hundred and forty and four thousand of the children there4 ,i shall see ,solomon and ,david1 and ,samuel and ,paul1 and ,peter1 and so many others that ,i cannot now name1 all of the one hundred and forty and four thousand of the tribes of ,israel4 ,i felt so rejoiced with the thought of meeting so many1 that ,i could heartily join with the ,poet in saying3 ,give joy or grief1 give ease or pain1 ,take life or friends away4 ,but let me find them all again1 ,in that ,eternal day4 ,for many days more ,i lay there on the brink1 waiting for the boatman2 but still he came not4 ,i began to think ,patience was about to desert me2 it seemed to me1 ,i had so nearly lost sight of her1 that ,i could hardly hear her voice2 then ,i cried unto my ,father3 ,cast me not away from thy presence1 and take not thy holy spirit from me6 ,then came the message3 ,rest in the ,lord and wait patiently for him2 this comforting1 though short message1 cheered me much1 for it seemed to bring a sweet sense of rest and security with it2 and with the ,psalmist ,i could say3 ,thy mercy1 ,o ,lord1 is in the ,heavens1 and thy faithfulness reaches into the clouds2 thy righteousness is like the great mountains2 thy judgments are as great deeps2 ,lord1 thou preservest man and beast2 how excellent is thy loving kindness1 ,o ,god2 therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of thy wing2 they shall be abundantly satisfied with the fatness of thy house1 and thou shalt make them drink of the rivers of thy pleasures4 ,i felt filled with that sweet peace that flows as a river1 and enters in and fills the soul with glory and with ,god4 ,as the boatman came not for me yet1 ,i thought ,i would look around again and see if any new friends had gathered along the brink2 and1 while ,i was looking1 ,i saw one coming with slow1 reluctant step1 as if he would rather stay on this side of ,jordan than to cross over2 but his guide kept urging him on with the ,father's message3 ,come unto me all ye that are weary and heavy laden1 and ,i will give you rest4 ,well1 said he1 ,i am weary and heavy laden2 ,i have had a tiresome journey through this howling wilderness1 and fain would find rest2 but ,i have become so dirty and bedabbled through the swamps and quagmires1 that ,i have not a garment fit to appear before ,him in4 ,the guide answered3 ,all that will come1 may come and partake of the waters of life freely4 ,then said he3 ,i will arise and go to my ,father4 ,he brightened up and quickened his pace2 as soon as the guide saw that he was willing to go1 he sent to the servants to bring hither the best robe and put it on him2 and1 so neatly clad1 and in his right mind1 ,i saw him approach the bank1 and seeing he would have to wait some time for the boatman1 ,i entered into conversation1 by asking at what time the ,father sent for him2 he said3 ,just about noon1 just as ,i had finished up my morning's work1 and thought the hardest of the day was done1 and ,i could in the afternoon finish those little jobs that ,i had planned in the morning2 but in the hour1 ,i thought not1 the ,son of man came4 ,but what1 ,i asked1 made you so reluctant to come8 ,oh1 said he1 ,i thought the ,father was angry with me2 for it is written3 ',god is angry with the wicked every day2' but ,i heard another say3 ',he that cometh with a broken and a contrite heart1 he will in no wise cast out4' ,i thought ,i would go1 for ,i could only perish anyway1 and if ,i tried to stay away1 ,i knew ,i should perish2 another said to me3 ,a broken heart ,he'll not despise1 ,nor on the contrite sinner frown1 ,his ear is open to their cries1 ,he'll quickly send salvation down4 ,and ,he did send salvation2 for1 when ,i cried mightily unto the ,lord1 ,he heard me1 and from ,his ,holy ,hill ,he sent me help2 ,he took me up from the mire and clay and dressed me in garments neat and clean1 and has brought me in sight of my heavenly rest6 ,only this narrow river lies between1 and ,i shall cross that1 for ,i think ,i see the boatman coming now4 ,with a glad shout of triumph he entered the boat and was gone4 ,i knew the gates would be opened again1 so ,i made haste to gather up my telescope2 and again ,i saw the shining ones come to meet and welcome a brother to his eternal rest2 and again ,i heard the glad shouts of welcome and praise1 as they dressed him in clean1 white robes1 and put a crown on his head1 and led him to the ,father1 who met him1 and with ,his own hand wiped all tears from his eyes1 telling him1 he should have no more sorrow1 nor crying1 nor sickness1 nor death1 nor go any more out1 neither should he thirst any more1 and the sun should not light on him1 nor any heat4 ,oh6 ,what more1 ,i thought1 could ,i want to make up an eternal rest6 ,just then my attention was attracted by the sound of unutterable groanings and crying1 and ,i looked around to see what it all meant1 and ,i saw close beside me one lying apparently in great agony4 ,i inquired what could be the matter8 ,said he3 ,just this morning1 quite early1 the ,master has sent for me1 and here ,i am2 naked and barefooted2 without a thing to cover me2 ,i had a garment all washed in the blood of the ,lamb4 ,the ,master provided it for me1 but ,i thought it was too long and straight for me2 so ,i laid it aside1 and now ,i cannot find it2 ,,oh6 ,,help ,,me ,,to ,,look ,,for ,,it6 ,by this time others hearing his cries had been attracted to the spot1 and in piteous moans and tears he begged1 he entreated them1 to assist in searching for the neglected robe4 ,all this while he lay there without making an effort to seek for it himself2 and1 although his friends searched with much earnestness1 they could not find it4 ,they then besought him to get up and look for it himself2 but he could not be persuaded1 and would continue to lie there groaning1 and begging them to continue their search4 ,meanwhile the boatman was waiting and urging him to go1 till finally he compelled him to go on board1 and the boat pushed off2 and immediately the river became so dark and swollen1 that we lost sight of it1 and we could see it no more4 ,surely1 thought ,i1 ,the wages of sin is death1 but the gift of ,god is eternal life through ,jesus ,christ our ,lord4 ,for many days ,i lay there1 feeling very listless1 not caring to look beyond the river1 nor even to look on this side4 ,i was just in the condition to listen to the voice of the tempter1 when he whispered3 ,why stay here any longer8 the ,lord delays his coming2 ,he might have come sooner2 it is very cruel to be lying in this dreary1 loathsome place so long4 ,and again1 with shame ,i must confess1 that after all the visions of glory ,i had seen1 and all of my ,father's goodness to me1 ,i listened to his wily whispering1 till ,i became almost enraged1 and began to cast about me this way and that1 for a way of deliverance4 ,at one moment ,i would feel like going back into the wilderness1 in all its filth and quagmires1 and the next ,i would feel like rushing headlong1 uncalled for1 into the river2 any way1 it seemed to me1 to get out of this murky1 deathly atmosphere4 ,for several days ,i was thus tempted4 ,oh6 those were dreadful days to me6 ,i sat in sullen silence1 and would not look toward my ,father's house2 ,i would not see the light that was beaming across2 would not see my ,father's gracious smile2 nor would ,i see ,his loving hand reached out to help me4 ,my telescope lay beside me1 but ,i would not take it up4 ,but1 oh6 the depth of the wisdom and knowledge of ,god6 ,how unsearchable are ,his judgments1 and ,his ways past finding out6 ,blessed be ,his ,holy ,name4 ,he would not leave me1 nor suffer ,his loving kindness to be removed from me2 but in the midst of deserved wrath ,he remembered mercy toward me4 ,on looking up ,i saw my guide coming near1 saying3 ,dost thou well to be angry4 ,hast thou not received good from the hands of the ,lord1 and shalt thou not receive the evil8 ,and if thou doest well1 shalt thou not dwell in the land of the living forever8 ,for the mercy of the ,lord is round about them that put their trust in ,him4 ,though clouds and darkness may be round about ,him1 yet righteousness and judgment are the habitation of ,his throne4 ,at these words the tempter left me1 and ,patience again resumed her seat1 and commenced to soothe and tranquilize my spirit1 saying3 ,return unto thy rest1 for the ,lord has dealt bountifully with thee4 ,ye1 that fear the ,lord1 trust in the ,lord1 for ,he is your help and your shield4 ,o6 forget not all ,his mercies4 ,at this ,i felt very much humbled and sinsick2 and ,i longed to be free from the power of sin and temptation1 and earnestly ,i prayed the ,father3 ,lead me not into temptation1 but deliver me from all evil6 ,and with the apostle ,i could exclaim3 ,oh6 wretched man that ,i am6 ,who shall deliver me from the body of this death8 ,oh1 that ,i had the wings of a dove6 ,then ,i would fly away and be at rest4 ,but then1 said ,patience1 as you cannot go yet1 you had better take your telescope and look again beyond the river4 ,so ,i took it up and began to look around2 first on this side1 but here1 as usual1 ,i could find no rest or abiding place2 nothing but filth and stench that sickened me2 but as soon as ,i turned my gaze toward my ,father's house1 ,i was struck with the glorious light that fell from the place2 for it seemed to shine with peculiar brightness2 and1 as the gates were ajar1 ,i could look full within2 but ,i could see no sun1 nor moon1 nor the light of a candle2 but the light was glorious1 far surpassing the light of the sun at noon-day4 ,so ,i looked in wonder1 to see from where it came4 ,my guide said3 ,there is no need of the sun or of the moon to shine in it1 for the glory of ,god did lighten it1 and the ,lamb is the light thereof4 7,rev4 xx41 #b1 #c47 ,and this is the same light that has lighted up this valley ever since the time the ,lamb passed through it and fought and conquered the tempter2 for it was in this valley ,he spent some time1 and on this bank ,he was hard beset2 here was the dreadful conflict2 here it was ,he was hedged in as you are2 here the tempter raged as he never had raged before2 and ,jordan swelled and roared1 and overflowed her banks2 such a time was never known before1 since the world began2 but the ,lamb gained the victory2 bound the enemy1 subdued ,jordan1 and passed safely over4 ,and all his followers have to do1 is to keep in the light and they need not fear4 ,then the prayer arose from my heart3 ,oh ,lord6 help me to walk in the light of thy countenance2 my times are in thy hands2 deliver me from the hands of my enemies2 make thy face to shine on thy servant2 save me for thy mercies' sake4 ,then said my guide3 ,be of good cheer4 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,sanctification4 ,,by ,,mrs4 ,r4 ,s4 ,,can ,,we ,,be ,,sanctified ,,and ,,live8 ,i have often heard it questioned3 ,can we live in a sanctified state8 ,i ask first1 is not ,christ able to keep us in a sanctified state8 ,did ,god ever break a covenant that ,he has made8 ,every covenant ,he has made with man has been sealed with blood2 and the ,apostle says1 without the shedding of blood is no remission of sins4 ,when ,god made ,his promises to ,abraham1 that in his seed all the nations of the earth should be blessed1 ,he made ,abraham take an heifer of three years old1 a she-goat of three years old1 a ram1 a turtle dove and a young pigeon1 and divide them asunder1 that the flowing blood might1 as it were1 cleanse the passage between the parts2 and the ,lord passing between the parts in the form of a smoking furnace and a burning lamp1 swore unto ,abraham that to him and his seed ,he would give that land forever4 ,having sealed the covenant with blood1 and with an oath1 ,god was bound to keep it2 and ,he did keep it4 ,although ,he permitted them to be severely tried and carried away from their own land into cruel bondage1 and to serve under hard task-masters for many years1 yet did they become a great nation1 for ,god had said3 ,in blessing ,i will bless thee1 and in multiplying ,i will multiply thy seed as the stars of heaven1 and in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed4 ,when ,god is about bringing them out of bondage1 ,he renews ,his covenant and again requires blood2 but this time the blood of a perfect lamb1 and the blood must be sprinkled upon the door-posts and lintels of every door1 setting the inmates apart to ,god1 or showing that ,god's people dwelt there2 and the destroying angel passed over the land but destroyed them not1 because ,god knew and kept them4 ,he brought them safely out of bondage into a wilderness1 and conducted them through the wilderness safely to the promised rest4 ,he did not at once let then enter into that rest2 but kept them in the wilderness to try them1 and prove them4 ,they were ,his people1 sanctified to ,him by the blood of the perfect lamb1 and ,he could keep them just as well in the wilderness as in the land of ,canaan4 ,he could spread their table in the sight of their foes4 ,when they wanted meat1 ,he gave them quails in abundance2 when they wanted bread1 ,he sent them manna from heaven--angels food2 when they wanted water the rock contained a full supply1 but must be smitten to produce it2 and it sent forth a stream that followed them through all their journey1 typifying the spirit of grace that accompanies the child of ,god through all his journey4 ,although they wandered forty years in the wilderness1 their garments did not grow old1 nor their sandals wear out4 ,so we see that ,god provided for them through all their wandering and brought them to that promised rest1 and according to his promise they became a great nation4 ,once more1 ,god renews the covenant ,he made with ,abraham1 or in other words fulfilled it4 ,here it requires again the shedding of blood1 and this time it must be the precious blood of the ,lord ,jesus1 the only begotten son of ,god which cleanses from all sin4 ,if the typical blood of ,abraham's heifer and ,moses' lamb1 could prevail with ,god1 to the temporal salvation of man1 how much more shall the precious blood of ,christ prevail to the purifying and washing away of all our sins4 ,as ,god gave the promise of the seed to ,abraham1 and set it apart in ,israel1 he has perfected it in ,christ4 ,as ,he kept them 7,his people7 in the temporal wilderness through which they had to pass to get to their promised rest1 so will ,he keep us in ,christ through this wilderness of sin through which we must all pass4 ,it is not ,his will to take us at once from the world2 but to keep us in the world2 to help build up ,his kingdom in the world2 for it must take perfect workmen to do perfect work4 ,christ when praying for his ,apostles1 prayed not the ,father to take them out of the world2 but that ,he should keep them from the evil of the world4 ,nor need we ever look to be freed from temptation2 but ,he will not suffer more to come upon us than ,he will give us grace to bear1 and with every temptation will provide a way for our escape4 ,christ at one time said to ,peter ,satan desireth to have thee1 that he may sift thee as wheat2 but what follows8 ,the wrath of ,god hangs over ,peter1 but ,christ our mediator intercedes1 and his soothing words are1 ,i have prayed the ,father for thee1 that thy faith fail thee not2 and when thou art converted1 strengthen thy brethren4 ,thus we must be kept for mutual aid and for mutual comfort4 ,if ,god were to remove each one as soon as he becomes perfect in ,christ1 who would be left to tell transgressors the way8 ,or how could the kingdom of ,christ flourish in the world8 ,for the kingdoms of this world are to become the kingdoms of our ,lord and ,his ,christ1 and the sanctified ,christian is the salt of the earth4 ,take him away1 and what becomes of the world8 ,god has use for all ,his perfect men and women in the world2 they must be in the world1 but not of the world4 ,it is a mistaken idea that we can be ,christians and not sanctified ,christians2 and1 as ,god has use for us in the world1 it is very plain that ,he is not only able to keep us1 but ,he will keep us1 until ,he has finished all ,his righteous will concerning us2 until everything is done that we can do2 until we have withstood temptation at every point even as our ,saviour did2 until the last battle is fought and the victory won6 ,oh6 ,i wish that every ,christian would feel that he is a sanctified ,christian1 and go to work as such4 ,oh6 that every one could feel that to-day ,i am a pillar in the temple of our ,god2 a living stone in the building2 instead of sitting still and dreaming3 ,can ,i be sanctified1 or when can ,i be sanctified4 ,oh6 that ,christians would awake1 and look around1 and see what they can do for the ,master4 ,the fields are all white for harvest4 ,the ,lord calls for laborers4 ,christian brothers and sisters will you not awake2 will you not have faith in ,christ2 seeing that ,god hath perfected in him all that ,he promised in ,abraham1 and all that ,he set apart in ,israel4 ,the ,lord which made heaven and earth is thy keeper4 ,he will not suffer thy foot to be moved2 ,he that keepeth thee will not slumber4 ,behold ,he that keepeth ,israel shall neither slumber nor sleep4 ,the ,lord is thy keeper3 the ,lord is thy shade upon thy right hand4 ,the sun shall not smite thee by day1 nor the moon by night4 ,the ,lord shall preserve thee from all evil2 ,he shall preserve thy soul4 ,the ,lord shall preserve thy going out1 and thy coming in from this time forth1 and even forever4 7,psalms cxxi41 #c-h74 ,this ,god1 ,o ,christian1 is thy ,god4 ,he that spreadeth out the heavens as a curtain2 who keepeth the stars in their courses2 who causes the sun to show forth his light at morning1 and the moon at evening4 ,he that keeps all nature in its proper course year after year for so many ages1 will ,he not keep thee through thy life's short day and bring thee to heaven at last8 ,as a father pitieth ,his children so the ,lord pitieth them that love ,him4 ,the father will labor hard night and day1 will make any sacrifice1 will deny himself any pleasure1 will travel ,east1 ,west1 ,north or ,south1 and endure any hardships for his children's sake2 and should he have a dozen or more1 yet his care over them will not diminish1 nor will he grow weary of his labors4 ,if ye then being evil know how to give good gifts to your children1 how much more will your ,heavenly ,father give ,his holy spirit to them that ask ,him4 ,let us then trust a ,father's love1 and dwell safely under the shadow of his wing and we need not fear6 ,though friends should all fail and foes all unite1 we may go on firmly trusting ,the ,lord will provide trusting in ,his everlasting arms1 we shall pass safely through the wilderness of sin1 and at last get safely into our ,father's house1 where we shall rest from all care and sing our sufferings o'er2 where sin1 and sorrow1 pain and death1 never can enter4 ,being washed and cleansed in the blood of the ,lamb1 we shall join our voices with one accord in singing blessing and honor and wisdom and thanksgiving be unto the ,lamb forever and forever4 ,sanctification4 ,,by ,,mrs4 ,r4 ,s4 ,when ,god had finished ,his work of creation1 ,he set apart the seventh day1 and sanctified it to ,himself4 ,in it no one was to do any work2 it was to be holy4 ,the day in itself was like all other days2 nothing different2 just as long1 just as short2 but ,he chose it to himself4 ,he chose the whole of it1 and all of it at once4 ,he did not say1 half shall be yours and half mine2 or1 ,i will sanctify a part now and the rest on next seventh day2 but as soon as the day dawned1 it was hallowed to the ,lord4 ,so in the work of redemption4 ,christ has finished ,his work2 done all there is to do4 ,he has opened the way and made it passible1 and now invites all to come and find pardon2 and sets the time when they should come4 ,he says1 now is the accepted time2 to-day is the day of salvation2 if ye hear my voice1 harden not your hearts4 ,the time is fulfilled1 the ,kingdom of ,heaven is at hand2 repent ye and believe the ,gospel4 ,the day of redemption has dawned4 ,our ,king has fought the mighty battle2 has gained the glorious victory2 has set up ,his ,kingdom1 and now invites every one to become willing subjects4 ,and all ,he requires of us is simply to repent and believe the gospel1 which promises that all things shall be added unto us4 ,we may ask for it with confidence and without fear1 for it is our ,father's good pleasure to give us the ,kingdom4 ,then repentance toward ,god and faith in the ,lord ,jesus ,christ1 are the very groundwork of religion2 and are more than all burnt offerings4 ,for ,he taketh no delight in sacrifices and offerings1 but a contrite heart is always acceptable with ,him4 ,what is repentance but a sorrow for sin1 and the forsaking of sin for our love to ,god4 ,love to ,god1 because ,he first loved us4 ,god loves us4 ,he wills our salvation2 and draws us to ,him by the cords of love4 ,we feel a sorrow in our hearts2 a weariness of sin1 a dread of coming vengeance2 we begin to consider1 and finally to ask1 ,what shall ,i do to be saved4 ,then comes the promise3 ,believe on the ,lord ,jesus ,christ and thou shalt be saved4 ,what then is faith but believing in ,him who was sent2 believing that he came to save2 believing that ,he is willing to save2 believing that ,he will save2 because the ,father sent ,him for this purpose4 ,him hath the ,father sanctified1 and sent unto the world to save the world4 ,believe that ,he is able to save2 thou hast given ,him power over all flesh1 that ,he should give eternal life to as many as thou hast given ,him4 7,john xvii1 #b47 ,believe that ,he is willing4 ,i lay down my life for the sheep4 ,then1 we can go to ,god pleading these promises1 and ,god will justify us through this faith1 and ,christ will apply the sanctifying blood that seals the covenant4 ,for1 by ,his own blood ,he has entered1 once for all1 into the ,holy place1 having obtained eternal redemption for us4 ,and as every law and every precept was sprinkled with blood1 so has ,christ sealed every promise and every covenant1 with ,his own precious blood4 ,then it surely follows1 we cannot believe without being justified2 and we cannot be justified without being sanctified4 ,therefore being justified by faith we have peace with ,god1 through our ,lord ,jesus ,christ1 and this peace we can only have by being one in ,christ and abiding in ,him4 ,it is a peace the world cannot give nor take away2 a peace that subdues all evil passions1 a peace that keeps us patient and cheerful under difficulties2 that keeps us humble and truthful under trials and temptations4 ,this is the grace that must prevail in a distressing hour2 and1 filled with the sweet peace1 we can sing ,the ,lord is my shepherd1 ,i shall not want1 etc41 and this sanctifying grace makes us heirs of ,god1 and joint heirs with ,christ1 who owns us for brethren and writes our names in the ,book of ,life4 ,but some may inquire3 ,how can we become perfect at once8 ,do you see that little babe8 ,as soon as it is born it is a perfect child2 perfect in its father's love1 perfect in its mother's tender care2 perfect as a child--not yet a perfect man1 but all the germ of the man is there4 ,his limbs1 hands and feet are perfect2 of his body there is no part lacking2 and under the fostering care1 and tender nursing of his mother1 the rigid but wholesome discipline of the father1 he must grow to perfect manhood1--and who can fix the time when the child ceases and when the man begins4 ,or1 see the branch in the vine2 as soon as it shoots its buds out of the vine1 it is a branch in the vine1 and never ceases to be such until cut off4 ,the grain of mustard seed cast into the ground becomes a tree2 but who can tell when it ceases to be a plant4 ,so is every one that is born of the ,spirit4 ,the wind bloweth where it listeth1 thou hearest the sound thereof and canst not tell whence it cometh or whither it goeth4 ,as soon as we believe we are perfect in ,christ2 and through the wise and just discipline of ,god the father1 and the loving and tender care of ,christ as our mother1 being fed with the word1 we grow in grace and in the knowledge of the truth daily4 ,we can no more exist in a justified state and not be sanctified1 than a child can be born without a natural mother6 ,ye must be born again1--born of the water1 and of the spirit1 and of the blood2 for that which is born of the flesh is flesh6 ,the natural mind is enmity against ,god2 it is not subject to the law of ,god1 neither indeed can be4 ,but if we are in ,christ1 we are new creatures2 old things are done away1 and all things are become new4 ,there is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in ,christ ,jesus1 who walk not after the flesh but after the spirit4 ,then ,christ the sanctifying blood applies1 ,and makes us white as snow4 ,sanctification4 ,,by ,,mrs4 ,r4 ,s4 ,a father1 while making provision for his children1 whether rich or poor1 will naturally expect love and obedience from them in return2 and an unkind or disobedient act in them must be a cause of great sorrow to the father's heart1 yet it is very seldom that he will go so far as to turn the child away from his door4 ,so with our ,heavenly ,father4 ,he has done all for us that can be done2 ,he has laid up an eternal ,inheritance for us2 ,he has prepared for us many mansions1 and preserves for us a crown that fadeth not away1 and now requires of us humble obedience1 full submission to ,his holy will4 ,he not only commands us to repent and believe1 but to take up our cross daily and follow ,jesus4 ,if we wish to follow any one we must either see the person or the way in which he has walked2 let us then find the foot-prints of ,jesus1 that we may walk therein and live4 ,while on earth1 ,his whole life was spent in doing good2 ,he was found among the needy and poor1 the afflicted and sorrowing1 relieving their afflictions1 soothing their sorrow or quieting their fears4 ,he was never found among the giddy and gay1 in the halls of revelry and mirth4 ,he was ever ready to weep with those who wept1 and to rejoice with those who rejoiced in the truth4 ,was there a bereaved mother or disconsolate sister weeping over their dead8 ,christ was there to join ,his tears and comfort them4 ,did they need any of ,his assistance8 ,he was ever ready to give it4 ,was any afflicted with sore disease8 ,he was ready to heal them2 none ever came to ,him in vain2 ,he upbraided never1 and sent none empty away4 ,he shunned none for their poverty and favored none for their wealth4 ,he was never presumptuous or proud4 ,when tempted by ,satan to exert ,his power for ,his own benefit1 ,he refused1 and silenced the tempter with the scathing rebuke3 ,get thee hence1 ,satan1 for it is written1 thou shall not tempt the ,lord thy ,god4 ,thus in all things our ,saviour was bearing ,his cross2 tempted by ,satan2 hated and scorned by false friends2 persecuted by enemies2 and finally1 dying for the sins of the world4 ,this1 dear ,christian1 was the path trodden by our ,saviour4 ,and remember1 ,he was a sanctified ,saviour4 ,him hath the ,father sanctified1 etc4 ,he has not only left ,his foot-prints for us to follow1 but ,he has also left a rule for us to walk by1 that1 being in the light1 we may walk in the light4 ,the first commandment given is3 ,thou shalt ,,love2 and the second commandment is3 ,thou shalt ,,love4 ,,love is the fulfilling of the law4 ,this is the power that puts the whole ,christian life in action4 ,this love must be toward ,god1 with all our heart1 soul1 mind1 and strength1 and to our neighbor as ourself4 ,as impossible as this may appear to the carnal mind1 yet to the child of ,god it is very possible4 ,what can be more possible than for a child to love his father and his own brothers and sisters6 ,although1 as children1 they may not all agree in everything1 they will have different sentiments1 different opinions1 and different ways of acting4 ,they will still be united in their love to their parents and their love to each other4 ,they will not1 by any means1 do anything to injure each other1 but will do all they can to assist each other2 neither will they be first to expose one another's faults1 but will practice that charity that covereth a multitude of sins4 ,this is just what ,god requires of ,his children1 viz43 to be perfect in our love to ,him1 and to have perfect charity1 one with another4 ,charity1 that thinketh no evil1 is not easily provoked1 rejoices not in iniquity1 but rejoices in the truth4 ,this is the love that helps us to overcome difficulties1 that enables us to bear each other's burdens1 that makes us feel each other's cares1 and forgive each other's faults2 that prevents us from taking up a reproach against our neighbor1 7,psalm xv41 #c71 and makes us one family in ,christ4 ,this love purifies the heart and brings us close to ,god1 making us bold to take up1 and firm to sustain the consecrated cross4 ,but it is impossible to attain to this perfect life without some trials and sufferings4 ,our ,saviour had ,his trials and temptations1 so must we have4 ,he did not purchase our salvation and pass to ,heaven on flow'ry beds of ease1 neither can we4 ,he laid aside ,his glory and made ,himself of no reputation1 and took upon ,himself the form of a servant1 and was made in the likeness of sinful flesh1 and humbled ,himself and became obedient unto death1 even the death of the cross2 therefore1 in following ,him1 we must1 as saith the apostle1 lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily besets us4 ,we must strip ourselves of all un-godliness and worldly lusts1 of every appearance of evil1 to the plucking out of the right eye or the cutting off of the right hand4 ,it is better to live maimed than to die whole4 ,we must also put on the whole armor of ,god which ,christ alone can give1 as the poet grandly sings3 ,in the mountain of ,zion1 in ,christ's armory ,there are sword1 shield and breast-plate and helmet for thee4 ,having put on this whole armor1 the command is to stand6 ,stand then against your foes ,in close and firm array1 ,legions of wily friends oppose ,throughout the evil day4 ,the world1 the flesh1 and ,satan will oppose us4 ,the flesh will continually cry for ease1 for comfort and for pleasure that is not becoming4 ,it will say the cross is too heavy1 the way is too hard2 the life we are trying to live is too perfect1 we never can attain to it1 our ,saviour never intended it and no one ever did thus live4 ,it will appeal to our self-love1 and tell us we are already better than our neighbors and should not mingle with other people4 ,it will appeal to our pride and tell us the valley of blessing is too low1 and those that walk therein are far beneath us1 and in our pride we may say of them3 ,stand thou there1 for ,i am holier than thou2 or it may appeal to our malice and say1 your brethren and friends speak evil of you and do not believe you2 and all this can only be overcome by that charity which is the bond of perfection4 ,these are some of the battles we have to fight1 and we can only fight successfully clad in the armor of charity4 ,the world will display all its charms1 cause all its glory to pass before us4 ,it will show its mines of gold1 its mountains of iron1 its halls of learning1 its ships of commerce4 ,it will introduce us to its halls of pleasure and its walks of recreation1 but with an eye fixed on the glory of the eternal world1 the glories of this must fade and become as nothing4 ,its gold becomes as dross and its pleasures less than the morning dew4 ,we have another dreaded foe1 the ,arch ,fiend himself2 who comes to us with all his power and all his rage4 ,we have not only to contend with flesh and blood1 but with principalities and powers1 who will employ every means at their command to retard our progress4 ,but we must ---- meet the sons of night ,and mock their vain design4 ,we must conquer them all through the blood of ,christ and the sign of the ,cross6 ,in this alone can we conquer all our foes1 this alone can help us to walk pleasantly in the valley of humiliation4 ,it is only with the ,cross of ,christ on our shoulders and the love of ,god shed abroad in our hearts that we can walk the heavenly road4 ,but with this love we can say always3 ,father1 ,thy will be done4 ,in sickness or health1 adversity or prosperity1 in afflictions and all trials we can possess our souls in patience4 ,this is the love that removes mountains1 that makes enemies friends1 and takes the beam from our own eye1 so that we may see the mote in our brother's eye1 and enable us to help each other on the way4 ,if a brother is in need1 or a sister in distress1 or a mother bereaved1 we are ready to lend a helping hand or give a word of consolation1 thus fulfilling the law of ,christ4 ,love must then pervade the soul1 and unite us to ,christ and to each other1 as the sap pervades the vine and the branches1 uniting them together and causing them to produce fruit4 ,the branch cannot bear fruit of itself3 no more can we separate from ,christ2 but if we abide in ,him1 we shall bring forth much fruit4 ,if ye abide in me and my word in you1 ye shall ask whatsoever ye will1 and it shall be done unto you4 ,let us ask daily for grace to keep us in this perfect way1 ask and ye shall receive4 ,we need a constant daily supply of the bread of life1 that feeds the soul and keeps it alive in ,christ4 ,let us go daily to our ,father's table1 that we may partake of the dainties of ,heaven and grow in grace and the knowledge of the truth4 ,that having all things done1 ,and all our conflicts passed1 ,we may o'ercome through faith alone1 ,and stand entire at last4 ,story originally written for her little ,grandsons1 ,james and ,charley4 ,dear ,jim and ,charley3 ,here is one of my stories for little folks4 ,it is about a giant1 that lives about here1 and in fact ,i guess he lives in a great many places4 ,he is a monstrous big fellow1 a great deal larger than the ,king of ,og1 whose bed it was said was twelve feet long and eight feet broad4 ,he is bigger than ,goliath whom ,david killed1 in fact larger than any giant you ever heard of4 ,and if you ever meet with this big fellow1 ,i hope you will kill him1 rather than become his subjects4 ,for he is a king1 or rather a despotic emperor2 he holds complete control over his subjects and compels them to do whatever he wishes4 ,he is always peering around1 knocking at people's doors1 and peeping into people's houses1 to see if he can get any one to serve him4 ,in fact sometimes he walks right boldly into my house and compels me to serve him4 ,he is a wonderful fellow and ,i think he must be very old1 and he is very ugly2 he is blear-eyed and snub-nosed1 and everything else that is ugly1 and he makes people do ugly things4 ,he makes men and women strut about and think they are somebody--why1 ,i have heard of so many bad things he has caused people to do1 that ,i hardly know what to tell you first4 ,he has made nation go to war with nation1 he makes men fight and kill each other1 and many years ago he made an old king dress himself all up in purple robes1 and sit upon his throne1 and declare he was ,god4 ,he made ,joseph's brethren sell ,joseph down into ,egypt when he was a little boy4 ,and ,absalom1 ,david's son1 to pursue after his father to kill him1 and he caused the wicked ,jews to crucify our blessed ,saviour and kill him4 ,oh1 he has done so many bad things1 and is still doing bad2 for he makes little boys and girls do bad4 ,i must tell you something he makes them do2 he makes little boys run away from their mother and tell lies and smoke segars and do a great many bad things2 he makes little girls primp themselves up and think they are young ladies1 and must not help their mothers any more2 he makes children quarrel and fight and call names to get advantage of each other2 he makes a little boy that ,i know call his little playmate----4 ,and now boys what do you think of my giant1 old and ugly and every way bad8 ,do you think you will be his subjects1 or will you kill him when you meet him1 as ,david did ,goliath with a sling and stone8 ,i should like to hear you guess his name1 but as you are so far away ,i shall have to tell you2 his name is ,,giant ,,self4 ,see what a great big fellow he is and what bad things he can make you do4 ,now if you don't want to be his subjects1 ,i will tell you what you must do4 ,when you meet him1 for ,i know you will meet him1 you must take the sling of faith and the stone of prayer and kill him4 ,that is1 when you feel any selfish thoughts coming into your heart you must ask your ,heavenly ,father to take them all away1 and keep you from pleasing ,giant ,self1 and make you good boys1 help you to grow up good men1 and ever keep you in ,his care---- ,your grandma prays4 ,the little scraps of poetry which follow1 have lain among my mother's papers for over thirty years4 ,i do not think they were ever shown to any of her most intimate friends4 ,they were written mostly in #ahdf1 when my mother was about twenty-six years of age1 and were simple heart effusions1 never intended for public eye4 ,even those addressed to particular persons ,i do not think were ever presented2 and my mother1 though fond of the poets1 seems never to have thought herself gifted to write poetry4 ,i selected the few found in these pages from an old scrap-book1 and ,i may say ,i regard these as the best1 and perhaps the only ones adapted to public reading1 found in the meagre collection4 ,i make no corrections in them4 ,t4 ,g4 ,s4 ,poetry ,thoughts suggested by the ,return of ,spring4 ,once more ,i hail the happy spring ,tho' sadness to my heart it brings1 ,it brings to mind the seasons past ,when sporting in the joys of youth ,i sallied forth to meet the spring ,and hear the birds so sweetly sing4 ,but ah1 those days are past and gone ,those happy days forever flown ,and now1 through weariness and care ,i wander on all through the year ,my youthful friends are fled and gone ,and not a friend for me remains ,i feel deserted and unknown ,a stranger in this world alone-- ,no one with me to sympathise ,or share with me my cares or joys ,when sore afflictions rack my frame ,and not one hope for me remains ,even then forsaken and alone ,i vent my sighs and make my moan ,and tho1 ,i greet the happy spring ,yet sadness to my heart it brings4 ,the ,inscription to this is simply ,written after a ,time of ,affliction4 ,i love the ,lord1 my strength1 my tower1 ,the ,lord my rock and fortress is1 ,my ,god my strength in whom ,i trust1 ,my buckler and my hope of bliss4 ,the ,lord is worthy to be praised1 ,he saves me from my enemies2 ,sorrow and death compass'd me round1 ,death and the grave made me afraid4 ,i called upon the ,lord and cried3-- ,my ,god1 he heard my feeble voice1 ,out of ,his temple4 ,lo6 ,he came ,and bade my broken heart rejoice4 ,the earth shall tremble at ,his word1 ,the hills shall fly at ,his command4 ,he bows the heavens as their ,lord ,and rides upon a ,cherrub's wings4 ,he will deliver me from sin1 ,and set my soul at liberty1 ,he will reward my righteousness1 ,if from my ,god ,i do not stray4 ,to a ,sister on her ,birthday4 ,your birthday my sweet sister1 ,what shall my off'ring be1 ,i've no rich gifts or treasures ,i can present to thee4 ,but ,oh6 my sweetest sister1 ,i raise a fervent prayer1 ,for all thy future welfare ,while thou may'st sojourn here4 ,may many happy birthdays ,roll o'er thy peaceful head1 ,in good old age may you lay down ,your life among the dead4 ,and may your soul ascend to ,god ,and reign with ,him on high1 ,and praise ,him in that bright abode1 ,where pleasures never die4 ,to a ,minister on his ,return after a long ,absence4 ,dear ,shepherd you've been wand'ring ,so long and far away ,your sheep become disconsolate1 ,therefore have gone astray4 ,not so1 the ,mighty ,shepherd1 ,he ne'er forsakes ,his sheep1 ,he leads them forth in pasture1 ,so rich1 so green1 so sweet2 ,he leads them to the fountains1 ,along the crystal stream-- ,they feed beside the mountains1 ,who put their trust in ,him4 ,transcriber's ,note3 ,archaic spellings and punctuation have been retained4