,,the ,,demands ,,of ,,rome             
,illustration3 ,elizabeth ,schoffen as  
,sister ,lucretia  ,illustration3       
,elizabeth ,schoffen1 ,lecturer and     
,author  ,,dedication  ,in the name of  
all that is good1 kind and ,christian1  
,i humbly dedicate this book to those   
two dauntless ,americans1 my friends and
 benefactors1 ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,e4 ,u4    
,morrison4  ,the ,demands of ,rome      
--,by--  ,,elizabeth ,,schoffen         
7,,sister ,,lucretia7  ,second ,edition 
,her ,own ,story of ,thirty-,one ,years 
as a ,sister of ,charity in the ,order  
of the ,sisters of ,charity of          
,providence of the ,roman ,catholic     
,church  ,,published ,,by ,,the         
,,author1 ,,portland1 ,,oregon          
,copyright1 #aiag1 by ,,elizabeth       
,,schoffen  7,all rights reserved7      
,,preface4   ,after many entreaties and 
a sincere vow1 it is now mine to tell   
the story of ,,the ,,demands ,,of ,,rome
 as ,i have lived them during my long   
life and faithful service in the ,roman 

,catholic ,church and sisterhood4 ,i    
would sound this story in the ear of    
everyone who has the interest of the    
oppressed at heart--in the ear of       
everyone who has the interest of        
disseminating knowledge1 the light and  
power of which would be a great help to 
the freeing of the captive from         
religious bondage4 ,for as ,i view it   
now1 religious bondage is the most      
direful of all4  ,in a few words1 ,,the 
,,demands ,,of ,,rome from the          
individual are from the cradle to the   
grave1 and they do not stop there1 he is
 followed through purgatory and into    
eternity4 ,in the commercial world1 you 
must listen to ,,the ,,demands ,,of     
,,rome or the ,roman ,catholic trade    
goes elsewhere1 and the anathema of the 
church is invoked upon you4  ,the church
 of ,rome demands property1 and when    
they have it1 demand that they be not   
taxed for that privilege2 they demand   
wealth1 never being satisfied1 but      
forever demanding2 they demand the      

suppression of liberty2 they demand     
life2 they demand death4  ,now1 as a    
sister in the church of ,rome1 it is    
demand from the very day she enters the 
convent1 as ,i have explained throughout
 this book4 ,the first demand is the    
hair of the victim4 ,the ,word of ,god  
says1 ,if a woman have long hair1 it is 
a glory to her1 but what does the church
 of ,rome care what the ,bible says8 ,it
 is the demand from the church1 and     
blind obedience of the subject to that  
demand that ,rome cares about4 ,it is   
their endless demands for supremacy of  
heaven1 earth and hell4  ,we have all   
heard of the dumb animal which would run
 back to his stall in case of fire2     
nevertheless1 we must take an interest  
in the faithful old horse and use every 
effort to save his life from the        
horrible death that he would rush to4   
,how much more must we take an interest 
in the lives of the poor1 oppressed     
humans1 the over-burdened1 entrapped    
nuns behind the convent walls1 though   

she may imagine that she is enjoying the
 greatest freedom and the happiest life4
 ,yes1 we must all look well to the     
doors that stand between ,liberty and   
bondage1 even though those doors seem   
bright with religious paint4  ,let me   
say with the poet1 that ,i cannot hope  
to live but a few more days1 or years1  
at most1 and my one aim is to give to   
the world a book that will stand the    
crucial time of the changing years--a   
book that shall be known and read long  
after the author is forgotten4 ,i write 
it with a fond hope that it may be      
helpful to those who have a zeal for    
,god1 but not according to knowledge1   
those who may be floundering in the     
meshes of a crooked and perversed       
theology4 ,i want no other monument4    
,,elizabeth ,,schoffen4      ,february1 
#aiag4         ,,contents4              
,chapter4                               
,page          ,i4 ,introductory        
#aa         ,,ii4  ,my ,early ,life and 
,schooling                              

#ag        ,,iii4 ,my ,novitiate ,life  
#bc         ,,iv4 ,a ,virgin ,spouse of 
,christ--,my ,first ,mission            
#cg          ,v4 ,my ,begging           
,expedition--,st4 ,vincent's            
,hospital--,routine            of a     
,sister                                 
#dg         ,,vi4 ,how ,i ,educated     
,myself--,i ,become ,superintendent     
of the ,third ,floor at ,st4 ,vincent's 
#fa        ,,vii4 ,sacrament of         
,penance--,mass and ,communion--,extreme
                                        
,unction--,indulgences--,annual         
,retreat                                
#gb       ,,viii4 ,my ,trip to the      
,general ,mother ,house                 
#he         ,,ix4 ,i ,receive ,my       
,diploma for ,nursing from ,st4         
,vincent's ,hospital--,trouble ,among   
the            ,sisters                 
#ajc          ,x4 ,my ,removal from ,st4
 ,vincent's ,hospital                   
#abb         ,,xi4 ,two ,interesting    
,letters from ,sisters--,my             

,letters for ,redress to ,archbishop    
,christie               #acj            
,,xii4 ,my ,emancipation                
#add       ,,xiii4 ,i ,quit the ,roman  
,catholic ,church                       
#aee        ,,xiv4 ,form for            
,dispensation of the ,holy ,vows--,my   
,suit and ,settlement ,with the ,sisters
            of ,charity                 
#afe         ,,xv4 ,my ,recommendation  
from the ,doctors of                    
,portland--,the ,good ,samaritan--,i    
,affiliate            ,with a           
,protestant ,church--,my ,new           
,work                                   
#aha        ,,xvi4 ,my ,advertisement in
 the ,catholic ,sentinel                
#aia       ,,xvii4 ,the ,care of ,old   
,sisters by the ,roman ,catholic        
,system                                 
#aii      ,,xviii4 ,conclusion          
#bje             ,appendix              
#bag         ,,list ,,of ,,illustrations
                                        
,page      ,elizabeth ,schoffen attired 

in the garb of a ,sister              #b
      ,elizabeth ,schoffen--,lecturer   
and ,author                         #c  
,elizabeth ,schoffen one month before   
she entered the     ,convent            
#be      ,father ,louis de ,g4 ,schram  
#cc      ,sister ,ethelbert             
#di      ,caught in the ,act of ,kissing
 the ,floor                          #ee
      ,st4 ,vincent's ,hospital1        
,portland1 ,oregon                      
#fe      ,mother ,house1 ,montreal1     
,canada                                 
#hi      ,fac-simile of ,my ,diploma    
#ajg      ,archbishop ,alexander        
,christie of ,portland1 ,oregon         
#aci      ,fac-simile of the ,check ,i  
received from the ,sisters of           
,charity                                
#ahj      ,a ,gift from ,god            
#aie     ,,the ,,demands ,,of ,,rome    
,,chapter ,i4    ,,introductory   ,in   
writing this story of thirty-one years  
of my service in the ,sisterhood of the 
,roman ,catholic ,church1 ,i have no    

apologies to make4 ,from the treatment  
,i received after ,i left the cruel and 
oppressive ,romish institution1 ,i feel 
that there are thousands of             
,protestants1 so-called1 that need to   
know what is required and demanded of   
the poor1 duped girls that are in these 
prisons of darkness that dot this       
beautiful country of ours from one end  
to the other1 guising themselves under  
the cloak of religion4  ,then1 there is 
the ,roman ,catholic1 who has been      
brought up in that faith1 and yet feels 
that the system as practiced in this    
country is not in accord with the       
,american principles4 ,to these ,i wish 
to give my message1 that they might know
 the inner workings of these damnable   
institutions1 falsely called charitable 
and religious4  ,with malice toward no  
one1 but for love of ,god1 charity and  
liberty to all1 ,i tell this story of my
 life1 with a sincere hope that it      
may--in some little way--help you1 dear 
reader1 and your posterity from drifting

 into the now threatening condition of  
pagan darkness and the indescribable1 as
 well as uncalled for1 unnatural1       
inhuman tortures ,i escaped from4       
,protestants are brought up in such     
grand freedom and liberty of spirit1    
both civil and religious1 that it is    
almost impossible for them to believe   
that there can be anything to prevent   
,roman ,catholics 7,i now mean the good 
,roman ,catholic7 from enjoying the same
 rights and privileges that they do4 ,if
 my ,protestant friends will just stop  
one moment and think about the          
difference between ,americanism and     
,catholicism1 then they will realize how
 it is that the good ,roman ,catholic   
cannot enjoy the true liberal government
 that their forefathers fought1 bled and
 died for1 and which they are enjoying  
today4  ,americanism means true         
democracy--the rule of the majority in  
matters civil1 and the protection of the
 rights of the minority4  ,americanism  
means freedom of thought1 conscience1   

speech and press4  ,americanism means   
the right to worship ,god according to  
the dictates of your own conscience4    
,americanism means that liberty of body1
 soul and spirit which tends to the     
development of all that is noblest and  
best in the individual4  ,does ,roman   
,catholicism mean these great           
principles8  ,let me say emphatically1  
,,no4  ,catholicism means the rule of   
the ,pope4  ,catholicism means          
restriction of thought1 speech1 and     
censorship of the press4  ,catholicism  
means the worship of ,god in no other   
manner than set forth by the ,popes1 and
 the persecution of heretics1 even unto 
death4 ,you weak ,protestants will      
probably say1 ,oh1 not that bad4 ,well1 
let me tell you1 that you had better    
open your eyes4 ,let me quote from the  
,golden ,manual1 a prayer book ,i used  
while a ,sister4 ,this book has the     
approval of ,john ,card4 ,mc,closkey1   
then ,archbishop of ,new ,york1 page    
#fff3 ,that thou wouldst vouchsafe to   

defeat the attempts of all ,turks and   
heretics1 and bring them to naught4 ,and
 according to the ,roman ,catholic      
,church1 a heretic is anyone who does   
not believe all the teachings of that   
church4 ,so you ,protestants are each   
and every one heretics and the ,roman   
,catholic church has no use for you1 so 
why should you cater to them8           
,catholicism means repression of        
individuality and the subjection of the 
body1 soul and spirit to a ruling class 
7the priests7 by the terrible doctrine  
of infallibility1 for we1 as ,catholics 
and sisters1 believe that the priest    
cannot sin1 as priest4  ,with these     
,roman ,catholic principles1 which ,i   
learned and practiced as a sister1 so   
diabolically opposed to our ,american   
principles1 it can readily be seen why a
 good ,roman ,catholic cannot enjoy the 
freedom which the ,constitution gives to
 every ,american citizen4 ,and1 my dear 
,american ,protestant1 if you do not get
 any other thought from this book1 ,i   

wish to give you one here in the        
introductory which will be well worth   
your earnest1 thoughtful study3 ,if     
these principles of the ,roman ,catholic
 system are allowed to continue being   
put into practice1 there is a           
possibility that we may lose our        
precious heritage of freedom which has  
been handed down to us4 ,i was deprived 
of all the rights of an ,american       
citizen till about five years ago4 ,i   
was buried in pagan darkness and        
superstition and my soul longed and was 
dying for light and life1 and ,i did not
 know how to obtain freedom because of  
the ignorant manner in which ,i was     
raised in the parochial school1 and the 
damnable instructions ,i received from  
the so-called representative of ,christ 
on earth1 the priest4 ,i have heard that
 there are about eighty thousand sisters
 in the convents of the ,roman ,catholic
 system in the ,united ,states1 and if  
this power can keep that number of girls
 in subjection and ignorance1 do you not

 think that they will do the same with  
the seculars1 if they had a little more 
power8  ,just think it over1 and read of
 the demands of ,rome ,i had to yield to
 for thirty-one years4 ,read the dark   
history of the ,roman ,catholic ,church1
 and remember that ,rome never changes2 
',semper eadem--' ,as it was in the     
beginning1 is now1 and ever shall be1   
world without end4 ,amen4 ,then maybe   
you will cease being ,protestant in name
 only1 and begin to protest4  ,why are  
we ,protestants8 ,what is the meaning of
 the word ,protestant8  ,protestant is  
one who protests1 and we are called     
,protestants because at the time of the 
,reformation the people who protested   
against the cruelties and superstitious 
practices of ,rome took the name        
,protestant1 and we are supposed to     
protest against the same teachings and  
cruelties today4  ,but how many true    
,protestants have we today8 ,very few1  
indeed4 ,if you would be a true         
,protestant1 you must protest           

twenty-four hours a day1 and seven days 
in every week in the year4 ,thank ,god1 
the ,american people have1 in the last  
few years1 begun to wake up1 and see the
 evils of this terrible system1 which is
 gnawing at the very vitals of our free 
institutions4 ,and1 if the ,american    
people do not become indifferent1 as    
they have in the past1 ,rome will meet  
the same fate here that she has met1 or 
is meeting1 in nearly every country     
where she has held sway for any length  
of time4  ,history tells us in no       
uncertain language of the downfall of   
the once powerful country of ,spain1 of 
the suppression of the convents and     
monasteries in ,portugal1 ,italy and    
,france1 and without the system of      
convents and monasteries1 priestcraft   
can amount to naught4 ,with these       
historical facts staring us in the face1
 the convent and monastery system is    
becoming a power in this land1 and the  
inevitable is sure to come--the         
suppression of all closed institutions4 

,history repeats4  ,therefore1 ,i wish  
to give to the world my experience of   
thirty-one years in a convent1 that ,i  
may help hasten the time when these     
institutions will be open1 and the      
captive set free2 that ,i may help1 if  
,i can1 the real true1 red-blooded      
,american citizens from returning to    
sleepy indifference4  ,i cannot write   
this story in the language of an        
educated person1 for as you will learn  
in the succeeding chapters1 my education
 was sadly neglected4 ,there will1 no   
doubt1 be many grammatical errors1 which
 ,i ask my readers to overlook1 as it is
 not intended as a work of rhetoric1 but
 a message from the heart4 ,i will write
 it in my own language1 that which ,i   
had to learn mostly by myself1 and it   
took a great many years of hard work and
 a great deal of deception on my part to
 be able to tell it even as well as ,i  
will4 ,and1 if ,i can convey to my      
,american brothers and sisters any new  
light on the workings of these damnable 

institutions1 or1 if ,i may be the means
 of influencing a few more to be real1  
true1 honest ,protestants1 then this    
effort will not be in vain4  ,i have no 
tale of immorality to tell1 as the order
 of which ,i was a member was what may  
be classed as one of the open orders1   
and the institutions in which ,i worked 
most of my so-called religious career1  
were among the most modern operated by  
the ,roman ,catholic system in this     
country4 ,i have heard and read a great 
deal about the nameless infamies and the
 degradation of the cloistered orders1  
but that story ,i must leave for some   
other to tell4 ,i will tell the         
unvarnished1 plain truth of my          
experience in the modern institutions1  
and let the reader draw his or her own  
conclusion as to the life the sisters in
 the closed orders have to live4        
,,chapter ,,ii4    ,,my ,,early ,,life  
,,and ,,schooling   ,i was born in      
#ahfa1 in ,minnesota1 of ,german        
parents1 who had come from ,germany in  

quest of greater liberty and a home in a
 free land4  ,my mother was a most      
devout ,roman ,catholic1 absolutely     
under priest guidance1 and by his       
instructions to her the children were   
reared and schooled4 ,my father was a   
broad-minded ,roman ,catholic1 not very 
strong in the faith4 ,i have heard him  
speak of the teachings and superstitious
 practices1 as priest foolishness4 ,but1
 that there might be peace in the       
family1 he would leave matters regarding
 the children to mother1 and leaving    
these things with her was leaving them  
with the priest4  ,when ,i was five     
years old1 we migrated to the ,state of 
,washington near ,walla ,walla 7then    
called ,fort ,walla ,walla74  ,i was the
 eighth child of a large family1 and as 
my parents could not afford to send all 
of us to the convent or parochial       
school1 it was my lot to go to the      
public school a few weeks occasionally  
for three years4 ,this was when ,i was  
at the age of eight1 nine and ten years4

 ,but1 for fear of imbibing the         
,protestant godless spirit1 as my mother
 called it1 ,i was given only a reader  
and speller4 ,nearly every day my mother
 would question me as to what the       
,protestant children would say to me at 
school4 ,she cautioned me many1 many    
times not to talk to them1 as they were 
the children of bad ,protestants1 that  
they would grow up bad and wicked the   
same as their parents were1 without     
belief in ,god and church1 as           
,protestants were people who fell away  
from ,god by leaving the true church and
 following a very wicked man1 named     
,luther1 who became proud and           
disobedient to the ,pope4  ,these       
,protestant godless 7public7 schools    
were greatly deplored in my home by my  
mother1 and yet my father was a teacher 
and director in these public schools for
 a great many years4 ,because the ,roman
 ,catholic people had to pay taxes to   
keep these schools running1 there was   
much murmuring against that unjust      

government of an infidel people1 as it  
was called4 ,with these contentions     
continually wrangling in my home1 it did
 not require serious excuses for my     
being kept out of school4 ,i have heard 
my mother make the statement many times 
that it would be better to have no      
education than to have this ,protestant 
godless public school education4  ,when 
,i was eleven years old1 my mother and  
the priest decided that it was time for 
me to go to the convent school to learn 
my catechism1 confession1 my first      
communion1 the rosary--my religion4 ,in 
fact1 during the three years ,i attended
 this school1 that was about all ,i     
learned4 ,true1 there were classes of   
reading1 spelling and arithmetic1 but   
the books ,i used in these studies were 
of a lesser grade than those ,i used    
during the short time ,i went to the    
public school4 ,by the order of the     
sister who taught arithmetic1 ,i had to 
teach smaller children what little      
arithmetic ,i learned from blackboard   

study in the public school1 having my   
class in the back of the room we        
occupied4 ,the sister who taught reading
 7,sister ,agnes7 told us that before   
she came to that school to teach1 she   
had been a cook in an ,indian ,mission4 
,well qualified1 wasn't she8 ,the       
catechism teacher 7,sister ,mary        
,rosary7 taught sewing and catechism    
alternately1 in that part of the        
building known as the wash-house4       
,three years of my life were wasted in  
this manner1 learning practically       
nothing but ,roman ,catholic catechism  
and pagan religion4 ,three years of just
 that time of a child's life which      
should be spent laying the foundation   
for something nobler and grander4  ,and 
now1 after all is said and done1 ,i was 
prepared to take my first communion4    
,this was administered to me on ,may    
#bc;d1 #ahge1 by ,father ,duffy1 in the 
parish church of ,walla ,walla4 ,i was  
confirmed the same day1 in the same     
church1 by ,bishop ,blanchet1 of        

,vancouver1 ,washington4  ,i thought    
that ,i now had religion1 and as ,i     
thought that was the one objective of   
the convent schooling1 ,i took my few   
books home and told my mother that ,i   
would not go to that school any longer4 
,i wanted to return to the public       
school1 but mother said we were         
,catholics1 and as such1 we had to go to
 the ,catholic school4 ,finally1 after a
 great deal of persistence1 ,i was      
permitted to go to the public school1   
but it was only for a very short time   
again4 ,mother took sick1 and regardless
 of the fact that there were two sisters
 and a brother younger than ,i1 and a   
sister and brother older1 at home1 this 
was a very good excuse to get me out of 
school4  ,from this time till ,i was    
twenty years old1 six years1 ,i did     
nothing but idle away the most precious 
time of one's existence4 ,oh1 what      
stupid1 lonely1 sorrowful girlhood years
 they were4 ,i knew in a dreamy way that
 ,i was being cheated out of my right of

 education1 but what was ,i to do8 ,i   
was tempted many times to leave home and
 work for schooling4 ,i once made       
mention of this intention to mother4 ,i 
was threatened with all sorts of        
punishments if ,i ever attempted a thing
 of this nature4 ,she told me that ,i   
could study the catechism at home1 that 
that was enough for me to know--that ,i 
would not forget the things that would  
take me to heaven and keep me from going
 to that terrible hell-fire with the    
devils4 ,if there would have been any   
reasonable excuse for all this1 ,i would
 have nothing to say4 ,but there the    
school was at our very door1 free to    
all1 without price1 with the exception  
of the few books that were needed1 and  
yet ,i was denied that privilege4 ,and  
why8 ,all in the name of religion4  ,oh1
 my ,american friends1 can you not see  
the folly of it all8 ,can you not see   
the folly of allowing this one-man power
 to continue building these institutions
 all over this fair land of ours8 ,every

 time you see a parochial school in the 
shadow of a cross1 just think that there
 is the institution taking the place of 
our public schools1 and you can rest    
assured that even the parochial schools 
would not be here if it were not for the
 public schools4 ,institutions supposed 
to be educational1 when in reality they 
are institutions for the purpose of     
teaching ,roman ,catholic paganism4     
,you may say that there are ,roman      
,catholics who are well educated4 ,yes1 
there are4 ,but where you will see one  
who is well educated1 there will be     
hundreds and maybe thousands who have   
only a duped education1 a fooled        
education1 so to speak4 ,i have given   
you a fair example of ,roman ,catholic  
education in my own life4  ,six years   
before ,i entered the sisterhood1 ,i had
 nothing to do outside the few home     
chores1 kept in inexcusable ignorance1  
deprived of every opportunity for any   
enlightenment1 even for my own future   
home life4 ,i could hear nothing but    

punishments1 purgatory1 hell-fire and   
everlasting damnation4 ,prayer to the   
crucifix in honor of the five holy      
wounds1 to the holy ,virgin ,mary and   
her badge--the scapular--for protection2
 confession1 the church1 the            
priest-,christ--these were my schooling4
 ,no reading1 no society1 except one    
,catholic neighbor family1 and ,i was   
being continually cautioned to beware of
 them1 as they had little of the ,roman 
,catholic religion1 were too worldly and
 were given almost entirely to dress and
 nice times4  ,be assured that ,i had a 
real ,roman ,catholic raising1 absolute 
ignorance1 steeped in ,popery1          
superstition1 idolatry filled with      
,roman fanaticism4 ,one of the ,popes   
has said1 ,ignorance is the mother of   
devotion4 ,yes1 superstition was the    
name of my ,roman ,catholic mother2     
indifference was the name1 in effect1 of
 my ,roman ,catholic father4 ,but the   
,lord ,god1 the pope1 through the       
priest1 the devil's hellish system1 was 

the school ,i was raised in4 ,it was    
this cunningly devised1 diabolical      
system which was responsible for the    
ignorance and mental blindness of my    
good1 honest1 but deluded parents1 as it
 was to blame for the awful wrongs1     
injustice and the wretched life of      
abject convent slavery ,i had to live so
 many years4  ,so ,i had been compelled 
to hear and see nothing but the one     
sided teaching of the ,roman ,catholic  
catechism1 the priest's hell and        
damnation preaching1 had been held back 
and down in ,roman ,catholic ignorance1 
darkness and superstition1 until at     
length ,i became as one deaf1 dumb and  
blind1 which very well explains the     
principle of the teachings of the ,roman
 ,catholic system4  ,during the last few
 years of my home life1 all home and    
priestly influence was brought to bear  
on the convent life as the preferable   
choice for a girl4 ,i had a great       
ambition to be a teacher1 and the       
,jesuit priests 7,father ,jordan and    

,father ,cathaldo7 assured me that in   
the convent the sisters taught          
everything a girl needed to know2 music1
 singing1 needlework and the necessary  
education for teaching4 ,the beautiful1 
glowing picture of convent and a        
sister's life were constantly being     
brought to my mind1 till ,i could at    
last think of nothing else4  ,the world 
was pictured as terrible and sinful2 the
 people being educated in the public    
schools1 living under the influence of  
an unbelieving government1 parents      
having no religion1 people of           
irresponsible character and loose       
morals1 caring for nothing but the      
material things of this world and good  
times1 which consisted of sinful        
pleasures4 ,and1 living in this manner1 
there was no hope of eternal life for   
them1 as there was no one to whom they  
could confess their sins1 and nothing   
defiled can enter heaven4  ,with these  
things constantly burdening my          
undeveloped mind1 and the thought of the

 great work ,i could do for the church  
and priests1 and of some day being a    
great sister-teacher1 ,i at last        
consented to be a sister for the ,roman 
,catholic system4  ,very natural1 under 
this kind of home life and influence1   
when every thing human1 natural1        
ennobling1 elevating and commonly decent
 and ,christian was withheld and kept   
out of my life1 and all of nature's     
endowments and rights distorted and put 
to my mind as something deceptive and   
leading to sin and deplorable wrongs4   
,,chapter ,,iii4    ,,my ,,novitiate    
,,life   ,my last two confessions1 in   
preparation to entering the convent were
 made to ,father ,ceserri4 ,when ,i had 
finished the last one1 and he was       
expounding and explaining my admirable  
choice of sisterhood life1 he raised his
 right hand while pronouncing the words1
 ,i absolve thee1 etc4 and then he put  
his arm around my neck and very fatherly
 kissed me4 ,in the midst of my         
sanctifying confusion ,i did not know   

whether it was the ,holy ,ghost1 or if  
it was meant in brotherly love4 ,but1 ,i
 quieted my mind with the happy thought 
that as the priest was ,christ in the   
confessional1 it must have been ,him who
 had kissed me1 and ,i believed myself  
highly favored by this mark of ,his     
love4  ,this same priest1 ,father       
,ceserri1 took me from my home1 which   
was in the ,palouse country in the      
eastern part of ,washington1 to ,walla  
,walla1 which was two days' travel by   
stage1 and a few hours on the railroad4 
,at the end of the two days' stage      
travel1 we were in ,dayton1 ,washington4
 ,it had been very warm and dusty all   
day4 ,the clerk of the hotel showed us  
to a large room prepared for two4       
,father ,ceserri1 in a laughing1 jolly1 
good-natured manner1 remarked that the  
clerk took us for man and wife4 ,the    
priest left the room while ,i was       
dusting and arranging myself4 ,when he  
returned1 he had a couple of bottles of 
porter1 he called it1 and two big       

goblets4 ,he opened the porter and      
filled the goblets1 handed one to me and
 kept the other himself4 ,i would not   
take it1 telling him that ,i never took 
liquor4 ,he pleaded that ,i should drink
 it as it would do me good after the    
tiresome travel of the day4 ,he could   
not prevail upon me to take it1 so he   
left the room again1 returning soon with
 some beer1 saying that this was milder 
and insisted that ,i take it4 ,i refused
 as before4 ,he told me that if ,i      
wanted to be a sister that ,i had to    
learn to obey1 as sisters made vows of  
obedience4 ,so ,i consented to taste it 
in obedience to him4 ,he was then       
satisfied1 as ,i had obeyed4  ,the next 
day we went to ,walla ,walla1 where ,i  
remained about a month with the ,sisters
 of ,charity1 who took me to ,vancouver1
 ,washington1 where ,i entered the      
convent4  ,it was understood between the
 priest and my mother1 before ,i left   
home1 that ,i would have a year's       
schooling before entering the           

,sisterhood4 ,this promise had also been
 made to me by the ,reverend ,mother    
,john of the ,cross4  ,on the day set by
 the sisters1 ,july #cjth1 #ahha1 ,i was
 notified that ,i was to be received    
into the novitiate that evening4 ,i     
reminded the reverend mother of her     
promise to me in regard to school1 and  
she told me that she had not forgotten  
it1 that the two years' novitiate was   
all schooling4 ,i believed her1 and1 as 
,i had already had a few lessons in     
obedience1 ,i thought it best for me to 
do as she directed4 ,i had learned that 
the reverend mother superior was the    
same over us in the convent as the      
priest in the confessional and church4  
,so ,i yielded in all confidence to her 
for my future interests4  ,illustration3
 ,elizabeth ,schoffen1 ,one ,month      
,before ,leaving ,home for the ,convent4
  ,on entering the novitiate1 ,i was    
given a formula1 which ,i said kneeling1
 as follows3 ,reverend ,mother1 ,i beg  
to enter this holy house1 and will      

submit to all the trials to prove myself
 worthy to become a servant of the poor1
 and pray for perseverance4 ,i was then 
led into a large1 barn-like hall or     
room1 with a long1 sort-of-workshop     
table in the center1 and a number of    
plain chairs--this was all the          
furniture4 ,there were a few holy       
pictures on the wall which broke the    
awful bareness4 ,the frames were black1 
coffin-like strips of wood1 very        
forcibly impressing the idea of death on
 my mind4  ,i was then led to a graded  
oratory where there were various statues
 and lighted candles1 before which ,i   
knelt1 ahead of the novices and the     
,mistress of ,novices1 and prayed3      
,veni1 ,creator ,spiritus1 meaning1     
,come1 ,o ,holy ,ghost1 and the ,litany 
of the ,saints4 ,with this introductory 
ceremony over1 the ,mistress came to me 
with a large pair of scissors and cut   
off my beautiful1 golden-brown hair1 my 
only beauty4 ,this was the first mark of
 the beast1 the first preparatory act   

for ,rome's holy institution4  ,i was   
then a postulant which means on         
probation4 ,the postulant period        
generally is six months4 ,during that   
time the sisters decide whether or not  
the candidate has a religious           
calling--that is1 to find out more      
intimately her character1 disposition1  
temperament1 inclinations1              
disinclinations--to see if she has the  
bodily fitness and soul requirements to 
be permitted the next step of           
advancement in this holy calling4  ,i   
was told by the mistress that the       
closing of the door of that holy house  
was a complete separation of myself from
 the sinful world4 ,that if ,i wanted to
 be a spouse of ,christ and a good      
sister1 ,i had to absolutely forget     
everything outside the convent1 even to 
my own parents and relations4 ,he that  
is not willing to leave father and      
mother for my sake is not worthy of me4 
,the one important obligation that was  
repeatedly impressed upon my mind was   

that ,i had entered the convent to      
become a religious to save my soul4 ,the
 quotation1 ,let the dead bury their    
dead1 was translated literally to me1   
and ,i was not to worry about any one   
outside the four walls that enclosed me4
  ,as a postulant1 ,i was to learn the  
fundamental virtues of the community of 
the ,sisters of ,charity--,humility1    
,simplicity and ,charity4 ,for the      
acquisition of these virtues ,i had to  
learn to diminish in my own estimation2 
be glad whenever ,i was given an        
opportunity to abase1 to renounce or to 
mortify myself4 ,by the interior and    
exterior practice of these virtues ,i   
had to prove myself4 ,by true humility  
of heart1 ,i had to bear all things and 
refuse the soul its desires4 ,the poor  
and humble in spirit pass their life in 
abundance of peace1 ,i was taught4  ,one
 of the first humiliating experiences ,i
 had1 to illustrate the above teaching1 
was one ,sunday evening soon after ,i   
entered4 ,the sister who was to relieve 

me in the department ,i was working in1 
had failed to report and ,i had not had 
any supper4 ,the next exercise was      
benediction in the church and ,i could  
not absent myself from this without     
being dispensed by my superior1 and then
 for only very grave reasons4 ,i went to
 the novitiate room about eight o'clock1
 and the mistress of novices rebuked me 
severely for not being in rank with the 
novices4 ,i told her that ,i had not had
 any supper yet1 as the sister officer  
had failed to replace me in time4 ,i had
 broken a rule by being absent from     
supper without permission1 so ,i went on
 my knees and asked a penance4 ,the     
mistress told me that ,i could go to the
 pantry and get some eatables and take  
them up to the novitiate room and eat my
 supper before the novices4 ,she also   
informed me that ,i had done wrong for  
blaming a professed sister for the      
breach of the rule4  ,this seems like a 
very childish occurrence1 and so it was4
 ,but it was humiliating for me to sit  

before a number of novices eating a cold
 supper1 and ,rome had made her point by
 demanding from one of her dupes1 and   
the dupe responded4  ,almost from the   
first day ,i entered1 ,i had to learn   
,latin prayers4 ,this was probably the  
education ,i was promised4 ,it would    
have been alright had ,i been taught    
,latin so it would have been of some    
benefit to me4 ,but these prayers were  
taught me in a sort of parrot-like      
manner1 the mistress of novices telling 
me how to pronounce the words in ,latin1
 and ,i knew what they meant in         
,english1 having learned the prayers    
previously4 ,if ,i were to see the same 
words written1 explaining something ,i  
had not previously memorized1 ,i would  
not be able to read or understand the   
meaning of them4 ,i learned prayers in  
,french in the same manner4  ,i will    
give you an example of a ,latin prayer4 
,this is the ,angelical ,salutation1 or 
,hail6 ,mary3  ,ave1 ,maria1 gratia     
plena2 ,dominus tecum2 benedicta tu in  

mulieribus1 et benedictus fructus       
ventris tui1 ,jesus4  ,sancta ,maria1   
,mater ,dei1 ora pro nobis peccatoribus1
 nunc et in hora mortis nostrae4 ,amen4 
,quite often during my postulant period1
 while ,i was learning these ,latin     
prayers1 ,i would have to do sewing4    
,this was a beginning of the vow of     
poverty1 which ,i hoped to take in the  
near future--learning to be a religious1
 and at the same time working my hands  
for the ,roman ,catholic system4  ,the  
candidate is assigned her work by the   
mistress of novices and goes through a  
test to see in what way she can become  
useful in the service of ,god as a      
,sister of ,charity4 ,it is a case of   
getting all the work possible out of the
 girls from the very start1 for these   
so-called holy institutions4  ,my two   
years' novitiate training was served in 
the boys' department of the ,orphanage  
of the ,sisters of ,charity at          
,vancouver1 ,washington4 ,there was an  
average of about seventy boys in this   

institution1 ranging in age from three  
to fourteen years4 ,two sisters had all 
the care of these children1 except the  
cooking of the food4 ,and1 oh1 the care 
these poor children received4 ,they were
 physically and mentally weak from      
having been underfed and poorly cared   
for1 and being taught by two sisters who
 had a parochial school education such  
as ,i had4  ,one of my duties was to    
awaken these poor1 little waif children 
for ,mass at five thirty in the morning4
 ,if1 on arising1 ,i found that any of  
them had failed to get up during the    
night to attend to nature's call1 it was
 my duty to whip them with a substantial
 leather strap1 which was provided for  
that purpose4 ,if some of the larger    
boys needed this persuasive remedy for  
their ills1 they would be taken to the  
attic1 stripped1 and some sister would  
be there to administer the medicine in  
prolific doses4 ,with this kind of      
treatment1 it was no wonder that we had 
to be continually on our guard to keep  

them from running away4 ,i have known as
 many as six at one time to run away for
 two or three days1 and sometimes some  
of them would not come back at all4  ,on
 the twenty-fourth day of ,february1    
#ahhb1 ,i was admitted to the holy      
habit1 in most orders called the taking 
of the white veil1 the next step to my  
religious perfection4  ,i was now a     
novice and ,i must present myself every 
two weeks to the mistress of novices1   
and in order that she may direct my soul
 in the spiritual life1 ,i must kneel to
 her in private and make what is called 
manifestation of conscience4 ,that is1  
to lay bare my heart and mind in        
everything ,i can possibly think of1    
excepting grave sins4 ,if the mistress1 
who is a cunning director1 has any      
dislike for any of the novices1 this    
exercise is very cruel1 for these       
saintly nuns know better than any one on
 earth how to cunningly torture those in
 their power--the system forcing them to
 it4  ,every week ,i had to go to the   

priest for confession1 whether ,i had   
anything to confess or not4 ,very often 
,i had to search my heart and mind to   
find something to tell this ,christ in  
the confessional4  ,soon after ,i became
 a novice1 we were called to the        
novitiate for spiritual instruction4    
,father ,louis de ,g4 ,schram was the   
chaplain4 ,an orphan boy had been taken 
out of the orphanage on account of one  
of the younger sisters having talked a  
little too much4 ,father ,schram said1  
,now1 sisters1 always tell the truth1   
but to tell the truth you do not have to
 tell everything you know4 ,suppose1    
,sister ,o',brien1 if somebody would    
come and ask you1 ',is ,johnny ,morgan  
here8' you would not have to say ',yes1 
,johnny ,morgan is here4' ,you place one
 hand in the sleeve of the other hand1  
and you say1 ',no1 ,johnny ,morgan is   
not here1' and you will mean that       
,johnny ,morgan is not up your sleeve4  
,this story was given as a spiritual    
instruction1 but it very truly          

represents the system ,i lived for      
thirty-one years--deception1 from       
beginning to finish4 ,with teachings of 
this nature constantly before us1 it was
 a case of lying1 stealing1 thieving and
 swipping among ourselves1 from morning 
till night1 to make life a little more  
comfortable for ourselves4  ,a novice is
 not allowed to talk in general         
conversation with a professed sister    
during her novitiate period1 with the   
exception of the mistress of novices and
 the mother superior4 ,these two        
sisters1 and the priest1 are the only   
confidents we have1 as we are taught to 
talk among ourselves on religious       
subjects only1 and if we hear another   
novice talking in any other subject or  
breaking any other rule1 it is our duty 
by rule and conscience to report her to 
the mistress of novices4 ,we are told   
that we are all monitors1 which means1  
carry the reports to the mistress of    
novices4  ,this practice destroys       
confidence and causes us to regard one  

another with suspicion1 the result of   
which is distrust and hatred1 and a     
general spy system4 ,this is one of the 
most devilish practices taught in this  
part of a sister's life1 one that stays 
with her throughout her whole           
sisterhood4 ,tattling1 accusing1        
charging one another with the most      
trivial1 cruel1 and very often wicked   
acts4 ,many times the sister accused is 
innocent of any wrong doing1 but there  
is nearly always a penance imposed upon 
her1 and if she is not in the good grace
 of the mother superior1 the penance is 
often very severe4  ,illustration3      
,father ,louis de ,g4 ,schram 7,johnny  
,morgan ,story7  ,from the first day we 
enter1 we are not allowed to send or    
receive mail1 without it first being    
censored4 ,this is another manner ,rome 
has of keeping the girls in the convent 
after they are once there4 ,the practice
 of censorship of mail is absolutely    
against the postal laws of the country1 
but it is done in the convents every    

day4 ,why should the postal authorities 
permit the continuous disregard for the 
laws8 ,are the sisters in the convents  
,american citizens and under the        
protection of the laws of the country1  
or are they not ,american citizens8 ,if 
you would open mail belonging to some   
other person1 unless you could give a   
very good reason for so doing1 you would
 find yourself in the clutches of the   
law1 and would have to account to the   
,federal government4 ,but you never hear
 of a superior of a convent being held  
for opening another sister's mail4 ,why 
this discrimination8 ,is it not breaking
 the law in one instance the same as the
 other8  ,while ,i was in the novitiate1
 a letter that ,i had written to my     
parents1 was returned to me by the      
mistress of novices1 with the           
instruction that ,i rewrite it and leave
 certain parts out1 as it would cause my
 people to think that ,i was not happy4 
,yes1 dear reader1 that is it exactly4  
,it did not make any difference how ,i  

felt1 whether ,i was happy or not1 the  
fact was that ,i was in the convent1    
seemingly1 for better or worse4 ,it was 
the impression ,i left on the outer     
world that ,rome was most interested in4
  ,the fact of the matter is1 that ,i   
was not happy and wished to leave1 but  
did not know what to do or where to go4 
,i knew that ,i would not be welcomed in
 my own home or among ,roman ,catholics1
 and with the bringing up ,i had        
received and under the influence of this
 religious training1 ,i believed it     
impossible to be saved among            
,protestants4 ,several times ,i made    
mention of my unhappiness to the ,master
 of ,novices in the confessional4 ,he   
implored me to be faithful and ,god     
would reward me1 and if ,i was not      
faithful there was small chance of      
saving my soul4  ,nearly always after   
telling the ,master of ,novices of the  
unhappiness in the convent1 he would1 at
 the next spiritual instruction1 give us
 a long talk about girls who had lost   

their vocation by leaving the convent1  
and that they nearly all came to a bad  
end4  ,my dear reader1 you can readily  
understand why more of these poor1      
deluded sisters do not leave these      
institutions1 when1 from the very       
beginning these principles are ground in
 their very hearts and minds until they 
become as one bound1 tied and gagged4   
,,chapter ,,iv4    ,a ,,virgin ,,spouse 
,,of ,,christ   ,,my ,,first ,,mission  
,my novitiate training of two years     
being finished1 ,i was now ready to be  
prepared to become a ,virgin ,spouse of 
,christ4 ,my canonical examination was  
conducted by ,the ,right ,reverend      
,aegedius ,jounger1 ,bishop of          
,nesqually4 ,this examination was a very
 private affair4 ,it consisted of rigid 
questioning in regard to the vows ,i was
 about to take1 poverty1 chastity and   
obedience1 and especially the vow of    
chastity4 ,i was asked what ,i          
understood by the vow of chastity1 and  
if ,i thought ,i could keep it through  

my life4 ,i was also questioned very    
closely as to my fitness to take a vow  
of this nature4  ,i was informed that my
 examination had been satisfactory1 and 
on the sixth day of ,august1 #ahhc1 ,i  
made my profession as a ,sister of      
,charity of ,providence1 in the convent 
of that order1 the ,house of            
,providence1 in ,vancouver1 ,washington4
 ,bishop ,jounger officiated at this    
ceremony1 assisted by ,father ,schram   
and several other priests4  ,this       
ceremony included the nuptial mass which
 is the wedding ceremony between the    
novice1 or candidate1 as the bride1 and 
,jesus ,christ1 the absent bridegroom4  
,at this ceremony ,i received my wedding
 ring 7which ,i have yet7 and took the  
perpetual vows of poverty1 chastity and 
obedience4 ,these three things--the     
wedding ceremony1 receiving the ring and
 the taking of the vows--made me a      
virgin bride of ,jesus ,christ4 ,the    
head-gear of the garb was changed at    
this ceremony of my religious           

profession1 which was the only          
difference between the garb of the      
novice and the professed sister in the  
order ,i had entered4 ,i also received  
my number1 #eed1 which meant that ,i was
 the #eedth sister to enter that order1 
and which ,i kept throughout my         
sisterhood life4 ,all clothes and       
articles assigned to us for our use are 
marked with the sister's number1 just as
 seculars 7people of the world7 use     
their names or initials1 or the         
numbering of convicts in the            
penitentiary4  ,the following is1 in    
substance1 the form of the final and    
perpetual vows ,i took3  ,in the name of
 the ,father1 and of the ,son1 and of   
the ,holy ,ghost4 ,i1 ,elizabeth        
,schoffen1 in religion ,sister          
,lucretia1 wishing to consecrate myself 
to ,god as a daughter of charity1 a     
servant of the poor1 do hereby make to  
the ,divine ,majesty the perpetual vows 
of poverty1 chastity and obedience1     
under the authority of the ,general     

,superior1 and according to the         
constitution and laws of the institute  
and organization4  ,i humbly beg the    
,divine mercy through the infinite      
merits of our ,lord ,jesus ,christ1 the 
intercession of ,his glorious ,mother   
and the prayers of the ,patron ,saints  
of this ,institute1 to grant me the     
grace of being faithful to these vows of
 poverty1 chastity and obedience2 for   
the dispensation of which ,i will humbly
 submit to my ,mother ,general and the  
,holy ,father1 the ,pope4 ,amen4  ,after
 the taking of these vows1 there is more
 mass during which the act of           
,consecration to the ,holy ,virgin ,mary
 takes place4 ,i had just been          
consecrated to ,jesus ,christ as ,his   
virgin spouse1 but now ,i must be       
consecrated to ,his mother4 ,let me say 
right here that once each year the      
sisters are required to renew their vows
 of poverty1 chastity and obedience1 and
 the act of consecration to the ,holy   
,virgin ,mary4  ,the act of consecration

 to the ,holy ,virgin ,mary is as       
follows3  ',o1 ,holy ,virgin1 virgin    
among all virgins1 and queen of all     
religious associations1 we humbly       
prostrate ourselves at your feet in     
order to acknowledge that after ,god1 it
 is to you1 ,o good mother of ours1 that
 we owe the grace of our                
vocation--devoted and consecrated in a  
special manner to the devotion of your  
sorrows4 ,being called to take care of  
your dear ,son in ,his poverty1 ,his    
suffering and to assist ,him when dying1
 we desire that you make us share in    
your feelings as a mother4 ,therefore1  
please make us partake of your          
compassion for all the spiritual and    
physical miseries of the children that  
you have begotten on the cross4 ,be     
pleased to look at us as the daughters  
of sorrow4 ,deign to receive us in your 
most amiable heart--this heart of yours 
that was pierced with the seven swords  
of sorrow ,we willingly love this heart 
of yours so good4 ,you know the dangers 

we go through in the exercise of        
,charity2 take great care of us in the  
midst of our perils1 ,o you who are the 
helper of all ,christians4 ,in          
acknowledgment of your kindness1 we     
shall work with all our strength to make
 all people love1 serve and glorify     
thee4 ,amen4'  ,allow me to explain1 in 
a concise manner1 the three vows1       
poverty1 chastity and obedience3  ,by   
the vow of poverty1 ,i had to give up   
all the material goods ,i possessed and 
all that ,i ever hoped to possess either
 by service or inheritance--being guided
 according to the ,lord's counsel1 ,if  
thou wilt be perfect1 go1 sell all thou 
hast and give it to the poor4 ,even my  
material body no longer belonged to     
myself1 ,i was an inherent part of the  
order4 ,nothing belonged to me--the     
clothes ,i wore1 even to a pin1 belonged
 to the community4 ,i had to always say1
 ,this is ours1 never say ,this is mine4
 ,if any presents were given to me in   
any of the work ,i was to do1 ,i had to 

turn them over to the superior4 ,not a  
minute of time is mine any longer1 the  
twenty-four hours of the day belongs to 
the community1 and if ,i wish to do     
anything other than the daily routine1  
,i must be dispensed by my superior4    
,by the vow of chastity ,i was forbidden
 to think of a man or marriage4 ,i was  
not allowed to kiss and fondle children1
 especially male children1 or to kiss   
another sister4 ,after a long absence1  
sisters may embrace and greet each other
 by rubbing head-gears against the      
cheeks4 ,i was not allowed to enter the 
curtained-off apartment of another      
sister in the dormitory4 ,i was not     
allowed any more liberty towards even my
 mother or any of my relatives than ,i  
was towards strangers4 ,i may1 as my    
book of rule reads1 see them for        
one-half an hour1 upon permission from  
my superior1 and if the time is extended
 ,i must be dispensed by my superior for
 the non-observance of this point of the
 holy rule4 ,now1 when ,i had this      

permission to speak to some of my       
relatives1 or some one else1 ,i must    
never speak in a language not understood
 by the sister in near surveillance4 ,if
 these visits occur more than once or   
twice a year1 it is ample ground for    
humility1 and mean1 cutting things said 
by the superior and sisters4 ,this is   
also a breach of the vow of poverty1 as 
the time spent talking does not belong  
to the sister but to the community4 ,she
 is told that it is a bad example to    
others who may wish the same privilege4 
,it is a continual determined vigilance1
 keeping the sisters from any           
communication with the outside world4   
,the rule particularly emphasizes that  
the sisters shall not keep birds or pet 
animals1 as it would take time1 which is
 not hers1 and divert her affection     
which1 as a sister spouse1 must be given
 entirely to her heavenly spouse1 ,jesus
 ,christ4  ,another great teaching of   
this vow of chastity is modesty4 ,a     
sister is taught to keep her eyes       

modestly cast down1 fold her hands in   
the big sleeves of her garb when in the 
presence of the opposite sex 7as men are
 called71 and never look them in the    
face any higher than the chin4 ,i tried 
this teaching for some time1 but somehow
 ,mother ,nature was still with me1 and 
every once in a while ,i would take a   
quick look at a man full in the face to 
see if he was good-looking1 and if ,i   
could not see a good-looking man1 ,i    
would look at the priest to see if he   
was handsome4  ,as an example for this  
virtue of modesty1 we were told of the  
young ,jesuit priest1 ,st4 ,aloysius1   
who was so good and pure and holy1 that 
he never looked his own mother full in  
the face4  ,by the vow of obedience a   
sister is to yield entire obedience of  
thought1 word and understanding to her  
superior4 ,the will of her superior must
 be her will1 believing that black was  
white if the superior said so4          
,literally1 she was like a corpse in her
 superior's hands1 and still a tool to  

work for the ,roman ,catholic system4   
,what is worse than mental slavery1 the 
stultifying of all our intellectual     
powers and bringing them under the      
despotic will of another1 and this      
behind the prison walls and barred doors
 of the ,romish religious convent8      
,obligations to convent life and        
practices crush all natural instinct4   
,if the sister desires to aim at the    
high ideals taught in the sisterhood1   
she must abase and humiliate herself4   
,if she has not the courage to make a   
fool of herself1 by abasing and         
humiliating herself1 she must ask her   
superior to give her some humiliating   
penance to suppress her feelings of     
higher nature as proud and coming from  
the devil4 ,the more sinful and criminal
 a sister can believe herself in the    
eyes of ,god1 and the more deserving of 
prisonlike treatment1 and as a worm     
under the feet of all her companions1   
the more perfect and saintly she becomes
 in her own eyes and in the eyes of her 

superior1 who can then use her as a     
better tool for the benefit of the      
system4  ,any one who knows anything    
about nuns knows that they are nearly   
all like children1 for under the        
ironclad1 narrow and restricted rule1   
the sisters retrograde from the day they
 enter1 and as time goes on they become 
as the rule itself--bitter and          
heartless1 from a sense of morbidness   
and from the unnatural conditions1      
circumstances and environment           
surrounding them4 ,there are the sisters
 who are childish and silly2 others who 
are the cunning hypocrite4 ,the latter  
type become the schemers among the      
sisters for the system1 and believe me1 
they will leave nothing undone to gain  
favor with the heads of the order and   
the priests that they might gain some   
high office for themselves4  ,for nearly
 a year after ,i took my vows1 ,i       
remained at the ,orphanage in           
,vancouver4  ,as you already know1 ,i   
was raised on a ranch1 and was          

accustomed to being in the open air and 
having plenty of sunshine4 ,these three 
years of almost complete confinement in 
this institution1 and the long hours of 
hard1 tedious work had begun to tell on 
my health4 ,and1 now as ,i could hardly 
attend to my duties1 ,i was transferred 
to an ,indian ,mission at ,tulalip1     
,washington1 about ,june1 #ahhd4  ,i was
 at this ,mission five years4 ,the first
 eight months ,i worked in the boys'    
department1 assisting in the industrial 
training of about seventy-five ,indian  
boys4 ,the part ,i had in training these
 boys was more manual service than real 
instruction4 ,but my labors kept me out 
of doors considerably and at the end of 
the eight months1 my health was         
practically restored4  ,i was then given
 charge of the girls' department of the 
,mission where the work was again very  
confining4  ,imagine1 if you can1 the   
terrible conditions ,i had to contend   
with at this school4 ,there were about  
sixty girls1 ranging in age from five to

 twenty-five years4 ,they all slept in  
one large dormitory with beds so close  
together1 that there was barely passing 
space1 and ,i occupied one corner of    
that room4 ,the accommodations for      
cleanliness were very poor1 and the     
stench in that sleeping room was simply 
nauseating1 and there was no remedy for 
it1 with the existing conditions4 ,in   
the morning1 ,i had to dress about      
twenty-five of these girls1 and care for
 the running1 mattering sores of many1  
who were diseased 7scrofulous71 with an 
ointment supplied for that purpose by   
the government physician4  ,after this  
doctor had made a few visits and ,i had 
become a little acquainted with him1 the
 superior came to me and asked me about 
our conversation4 ,when she found out   
that we had talked about some things    
that were not strictly business1 ,i was 
not allowed to be in the room when he   
came again4 ,she told me that ,i should 
be very careful around a man1 that ,i   
might lose my vocation4  ,i had to take 

my turn in the laundry nearly every     
week1 and ,i remember one instance which
 occurred which will illustrate how the 
,roman ,catholic system makes a mountain
 out of a mole hill and causes so much  
sorrow over practically nothing4 ,i had 
damaged a little red-flannel shirt      
belonging to one of the children1 while 
washing it1 and ,i never heard the end  
of this terrible thing until after ,i   
wrote to my father and asked him to send
 me five dollars1 that ,i might replace 
it4 ,a very trivial thing in itself but 
the superior kept talking about it1     
causing me very much sorrow and grief   
that ,i shed many tears over it4  ,while
 ,i was at this ,mission1 ,i received a 
letter from my father informing me that 
my mother was very ill1 and that in all 
probability would soon pass away4 ,this 
letter had been addressed to ,vancouver1
 and my ,mother ,superior had opened it 
and knew the contents4 ,when she        
forwarded it to me1 she inclosed a      
letter to my superior at ,tulalip1      

telling her to tell me that if ,i could 
get some one to take my place and get   
the money necessary for my fare from my 
father1 she would give me permission to 
go home to see my mother before she     
died4 ,she knew very well that it was an
 impossibility to get any other to take 
my place1 as ,i did not have the        
assigning of sisters to work of any     
nature1 and none but sisters were       
allowed in the ,mission4 ,the answer was
 simply that my mother died and ,i never
 saw her after the day ,i left home to  
enter the holy convent4  ,again1 after  
four years of confining work in this    
department of the mission1 my health    
absolutely failed4 ,i asked to be       
transferred to some other house where ,i
 might have a chance to recuperate4     
,about the first of ,september1 #ahhi1  
,i was transferred to the ,indian       
,mission at ,colville1 ,washington4 ,at 
this ,mission ,i had charge of the      
sewing and assisted in the dining-room4 
,the responsibility was much less than  

it had been at ,tulalip1 and1 having    
been relieved of this strain1 and       
depressing conditions1 ,i gradually     
regained my health4  ,i had now spent a 
little over six years in ,mission work1 
and being naturally of an active        
disposition1 both mentally and          
physically1 ,i knew that ,i could not   
endure this banishment much longer4 ,i  
say banishment very thoughtfully1 for   
banishment it was4 ,no companions with  
whom to converse1 as the other sisters  
in these ,missions were generally       
foreigners who could speak very little  
,english1 and as for being companions   
they were little better than no one4    
,then1 the work was very tiresome and   
monotonous1 with no physical exercise   
attached to it1 nearly all being done in
 a sitting posture1 with nothing to use 
or enlighten the mentality4  ,so1       
realizing these conditions1 ,i asked to 
be given some work of a more active     
nature4 ,and1 about the first of        
,december1 #ahij1 ,i was transferred to 

the ,sacred ,heart ,hospital1 ,spokane1 
,washington4  ,i was at this hospital   
only a short time1 but while there ,i   
had charge of the laundry1 which meant  
doing most of the work in that          
department1 and also charge of a ward of
 fourteen patients1 regardless of the   
fact that ,i had never had any previous 
experience of this nature4 ,and1 believe
 me1 there were many trying1            
disagreeable experiences both to myself 
and the sick1 due to my being untrained4
  ,i recall one instance when ,i nearly 
injured myself for life lifting a       
patient when ,i did not know how to     
handle a person in a helpless condition4
 ,my back was crippled for about a      
month1 but they say experience is the   
best teacher1 and ,i had had my first   
lesson of this nature4  ,a physician had
 prescribed a seidlitz powder for a     
patient ,i was attending1 but ,i had    
never given one and did not know how to 
proceed4 ,i asked the sister superior1  
and then endeavored to carry out her    

orders4 ,i took two large tumblers half 
filled with water and a powder in each4 
,hurriedly ,i poured the contents of one
 tumbler into the other and the         
effervescing saline ran all over the    
poor man and bed1 while he was making   
desperate efforts to drink a little4    
,all the men in the ward raised their   
heads to see the experiment and enjoyed 
a hearty laugh1 while the patient       
received his prescription and a shower  
bath1 both at the same time4  ,this was 
one time in my convent life that ,i     
received what ,i had asked for1 in fact1
 it was just the opposite extreme of    
what ,i had been experiencing in my     
previous ,mission4 ,i was on my feet    
from morning till night1 and even for   
recreation and diversion1 ,i was sent to
 the kitchen to assist in the work      
there4     ,,chapter ,v4    ,,my        
,,begging ,,expedition4   ,,st4         
,,vincent',s ,,hospital--,,routine ,,of 
,a ,,sister4   ,during the spring of    
#ahia1 the ,province of the ,sisters of 

,charity of ,providence of the ,pacific 
,northwest was divided1 and by an order 
from the head ,mother ,house at         
,montreal1 the sisters were to remain in
 the provinces where they were when the 
division went into effect4 ,i was       
ordered to report to the ,mother ,house 
at ,vancouver1 ,washington4 ,this was in
 ,march1 #ahia4 ,on my way to ,vancouver
 from ,spokane1 ,i had to pass through  
,portland1 ,oregon1 and while there the 
order went into effect1 and the sister  
superior of ,st4 ,vincent's ,hospital   
claimed me as a subject of the ,oregon  
,province4  ,i was at ,st4 ,vincent's   
,hospital about a month1 when ,i was    
transferred to ,astoria1 ,oregon1 to    
,st4 ,mary's ,hospital1 where ,i        
practiced on typhoid patients and became
 more efficient in laundry work1 for a  
little over a year4  ,in ,june1 #ahib1  
,i was missioned to ,st4 ,mary's        
,hospital1 ,new ,westminster1 ,b4 ,c4   
,my duties in this hospital were        
practically the same as in the other    

hospitals ,i had worked in4  ,it was    
while ,i was at this hospital that ,i   
was sent on my principal begging        
expedition4 ,on ,july fourth1 #ahib1    
,sister ,ethelbert and myself were      
commissioned to go north to the logging 
camps on the islands in the ,gulf of    
,georgia 7near ,alaska7 to secure       
contributions in the name of ,charity   
for the ,roman ,catholic ,church and to 
sell tickets for ten dollars each1 which
 would entitle the holder to care in    
,st4 ,mary's ,hospital1 ,new            
,westminter1 ,b4 ,c41 for a specified   
time4  ,the hardship and terrors of this
 trip are indescribable4 ,crossing the  
stormy straights in small canoes1       
camping out at night in the wildest     
woods1 our lives were endangered many   
times4 ,arriving at the camps at all    
hours of the night1 tired1 wet1 cold and
 hungry2 being lifted into bunks by the 
men when we were so cold1 in fact nearly
 frozen1 that we could hardly move2     
being carried on the backs of the men   

across muddy and wet places where the   
water was too shallow for the canoe1 or 
boat1 to land4 ,oh1 yes1 in the convent 
we were taught to be so modest--modesty 
to the very extreme1 but it is all      
right1 in the ,roman ,catholic ,church1 
to send sisters to such places as this1 
where1 as some of the men told me1 they 
had not seen a woman for from three to  
eight years4 ,it was all right in the   
,roman ,catholic ,church because we were
 getting the money for the fat living of
 the priests and to enrich the coffers  
of the ,pope of ,rome4 ,believe me1 dear
 reader1 no benefit do the sisters ever 
get from the hardships and indignities  
imposed upon them on a trip of this     
nature4  ,illustration3 ,sister         
,ethelbert1 my companion on the begging 
trip to the ,gulf of ,georgia1 near     
,alaska4 ,she told me this was her      
seventh trip to this part of the country
 on a mission of this nature4 ,she died 
at the age of thirty-six years4  ,at one
 camp we visited1 the men refused to    

keep us over night1 so the men who had  
rowed us all day1 began to row us to the
 next camp4 ,about ten o'clock in the   
night1 a storm arose1 and we had to     
land1 as it was too rough to go farther4
 ,the shore space was very limited1 as  
there were huge mountains on one side   
and the breakers on the other4 ,dry wood
 was very scarce so the fire we had was 
little better than none at all4 ,there  
were four of us--two sisters and two    
men--and all the covering we had was one
 double blanket1 with the rough1 rocky  
shore for a bed4 ,about two o'clock in  
the morning1 the storm subsided and we  
embarked again and continued our        
journey1 arriving at the next camp about
 four o'clock4 ,two of the workmen very 
kindly gave us their bunk1 but because  
of the cold there was very little sleep4
 ,when we arose1 the ,chinese cook took 
us to the kitchen and had us warm our   
feet in the large oven4 ,he was a very  
good and kind sympathetic friend for he 
looked so sorry for us and said1 ,you   

have hard time4  ,since ,i had to go    
begging1 ,i was very pleased to have    
,sister ,ethelbert for a companion      
because ,i knew that she was not a      
trouble-maker1 but a truly good and     
sisterly person4 ,i had hungered and    
longed for many years to be with some   
sister that ,i could talk with on some  
other than the written religious        
subjects and ,i was sure that this was  
the opportunity4 ,i tried to talk to    
her1 and she would smile at me1 and she 
tried to talk to me1 and ,i would smile 
at her4 ,it was very apparent that our  
vocabulary was very limited and simple1 
when it came to talking on outside      
subjects4 ,it was not till some years   
later that ,i realized why this         
condition existed4 ,it was from the long
 silence and suppression1 of not only   
speech1 but our very thoughts1 having   
been in bondage so long4  ,we were away 
from ,st4 ,mary's ,hospital just three  
weeks and brought back a little over    
eleven hundred dollars in checks and    

cash4 ,is it any wonder that ,rome can  
build such magnificent institutions8    
,as a result of the exposure and        
hardships on this trip ,i contracted    
sickness from which ,i did not          
completely recover during the remainder 
of my convent life4 ,and oh1 if ,i could
 only explain what it means to be a sick
 sister6 ,i was not receiving the proper
 care1 so ,i wrote to my ,mother ,house1
 located in ,portland1 ,oregon1 pleading
 that something might be done for me4 ,i
 waited for three weeks for an answer1  
but received none4 ,i wrote to my       
,superior again1 and told her that if   
the community could not give me the care
 ,i needed1 ,i would write to my father 
and ask him to see that ,i received     
medical assistance4 ,this was a very    
bold thing for a sister to do1 but ,i   
was certainly very sick and little did  
,i care what the community would do to  
me4  ,when the ,mother ,superior        
received this letter1 ,i was immediately
 recalled to the ,mother ,house by      

telegram4 ,i arrived at the ,mother     
,house1 ,st4 ,vincent's ,hospital1      
,portland1 on the seventh day of ,july1 
#ahic4  ,i received fairly good care for
 a short time2 then ,i was handed a     
picture of our suffering ,lord1 and told
 by the ,mother ,provincial1 ,sister    
,mary ,theresa1 to practice resignation 
and make novenas to this miraculous     
picture for help4 7,novena means nine   
days' prayer47  ,for years ,i was not   
sick enough to be confined to my bed1   
although ,i should have been there many 
times when ,i was drudging away1 working
 for the ,church of ,rome4 ,a sick      
sister need not look for any care until 
she is about ready to pass to the ,great
 ,beyond4 ,the climax of my sickness    
came many years later when ,i had to    
submit to an operation4  ,during the    
first eight months ,i was at ,st4       
,vincent's ,hospital1 ,i had very little
 use of my left hand and arm4 ,i thought
 it was partial paralysis4 ,a very      
prominent physician of the hospital     

staff1 whose name ,i purposely withhold1
 diagnosed my case and gave it a        
technical name1 which my unintelligible 
mind could not comprehend4 ,but in my   
presence he told ,sister ,mary          
,bonsecours1 who was my officer and who 
had received orders to see what the     
doctor could do for me1 that ,i would   
never be any better4 ,nevertheless1 he  
prescribed for me which improved my     
condition to a certain extent4  ,in this
 condition ,i assisted in the caring of 
patients1 doing the best ,i could1      
experimenting1 as it were1 and learning 
a little here and there at the expense  
of the suffering sick4 ,we had no       
instructors or books on nursing until   
after ,i had been there about three     
years1 when we were furnished one book1 
a manual of nursing1 and whenever a     
sister was lucky enough to get it she   
would keep it until some other sister   
would have a chance to swipe it4 ,a     
sister once swiped it from me1 and it   
took me eight months to get a chance to 

swipe it back4 ,also1 about this time we
 were allowed to attend certain lectures
 given by the staff doctors4 ,one of the
 certain lectures we were not allowed to
 attend were those given on maternity1  
and yet the sisters were held           
responsible for any errors in caring for
 cases of this nature4 ,to sum it all up
 in short1 we were instructed to pray   
that ,god would bless us and our work   
and that nothing wrong would happen to  
the patients4  ,during the first six    
years of my experience at ,st4          
,vincent's ,hospital and after ,i had   
recovered sufficiently from my sickness1
 ,i was sent to ,st4 ,mary's ,hospital1 
,astoria1 ,oregon1 off and on1 for short
 periods to assist in the work there4   
,in #ahie the new magnificent1 six-story
 brick ,st4 ,vincent's ,hospital was    
finished1 and we took charge in         
,september of that year4  ,here ,i had  
charge of ten rooms1 and had the serving
 of two meals daily to the entire floor1
 which meant about fifty patients1 and  

the only assistance ,i had was one girl 
who was neither sister nor nurse1 but   
very good and kind to me4 ,besides these
 duties1 ,i had to take my turn in the  
laundry1 do sewing1 and above all else1 
attend to the numberless religious      
obligations4  ,in order that you might  
realize of what these numberless        
religious obligations consisted1 ,i will
 here give a program of the daily       
routine which ,i had to follow          
throughout my ,sisterhood career3       
,rise at                                
#e3jj ,a4,m4     ,morning prayer1       
followed by meditation                  
#e3cj ,a4,m4     ,mass                  
#f3jj ,a4,m4     ,breakfast             
#g3jj ,a4,m4     ,spiritual reading     
#i3jj ,a4,m4     ,examination of        
conscience                              
#aa3be ,a4,m4     ,dinner               
#aa3cj ,a4,m4     ,beads                
#aa3ce ,a4,m4     ,recreation for one   
hour beginning at                       
#ab3jj noon     ,spiritual reading      

#a3cj ,p4,m4     ,prostration           
#c3jj ,p4,m4     ,meditation            
#d3jj ,p4,m4     ,examination of        
conscience                              
#e3ee ,p4,m4     ,supper                
#f3jj ,p4,m4     ,beads                 
#f3be ,p4,m4     ,recreation for one    
hour beginning at                       
#g3jj ,p4,m4     ,evening prayer and    
examination of conscience               
#h3jj ,p4,m4     ,followed by a visit to
 the blessed ,sacrament in the ,chapel4 
,retire--lights out and silence         
#i3jj ,p4,m4  ,illustration3 ,caught in 
the ,act of ,kissing the ,floor1 a ,very
 ,common ,penance for the ,sisters in   
the ,order ,i ,was a ,member of4  ,in   
addition to these1 the following must be
 observed3  ,every hour of the day when 
the clock strikes1 each sister must rise
 to her feet and say1 ,let us remember  
that we are in the holy presence of     
,god4 ,blessed be the hours of the      
birth1 death and resurrection of our    
,lord1 ,jesus ,christ4 ,o my ,god1 ,i   

give thee my heart1 grant me the grace  
to pass this hour1 and the rest of this 
day in thy holy love and without        
offending thee1 and one ,hail1 ,mary4   
,an hour each week must be spent in the 
chapel in honor of the ,blessed         
,sacrament4  ,from fifteen to thirty    
minutes every ,friday evening after     
evening prayer for the exercise called  
the culp1 in some orders called chapter4
 ,this exercise consists of each sister 
kneeling before the superior1 and all   
the other sisters charges her with every
 mean1 contemptible1 petty wrong1       
usually a breach of some rule of the    
order1 which they have remarked in her  
during the past week4 ,then the culprit 
so charged acknowledges some of these   
faults1 adds a few more herself1 and1   
kissing the floor1 asks a penance of the
 superior4 ,the superior has the        
authority to impose any of the          
accustomed penances4  ,one ,sunday of   
each month is called retreat day1 which 
means additional prayer and devotion1   

that the sister may be fortified        
spiritually for the next month4 ,during 
this day there are three meditations in 
addition to the regular daily routine4  
,each sister must present herself to the
 superior to tell her spiritual         
advancement and the difficulties she has
 had in the work4 ,sometimes all the    
sisters do not have the time to appear  
before the superior on this day1 but she
 must do so the first opportunity she   
has during the week1 and then it is     
generally a reprimand for not being     
there sooner4 ,this retreat day is ended
 with a long ,te ,deum1 which means a   
canticle of thanksgiving4  ,an          
explanation of some of the daily        
exercises will no doubt be of interest  
to most of my readers4  ,the morning    
meal is eaten in silence1 except on     
,feast days or unusual occasions4       
,during the noon and evening meal some  
sister is appointed to read1 generally  
from the ,lives of the ,saints or ,roman
 ,martyrology1 narrations very repulsive

 and revolting to nature4 ,in this      
manner we mortify the senses4 ,if we    
wish something passed while we are      
eating1 we make signs for it4 ,ten      
minutes is about the time spent in      
consuming the gout defying food supplied
 us4 ,there is a dish-pan with about two
 quarts of warm water in it on the      
table1 and the first sister finished    
eating has this pan passed to her and   
she washes her dishes1 dries them and   
places them in her private drawer in the
 table at her place4 ,from six to ten   
sisters wash their own dishes in this   
same water1 and no difference if some of
 these sisters are diseased1 as ,i have 
seen them1 they would be wasting time to
 make a change of water1 and that would 
be a breach of the vow of poverty4 ,in  
all my thirty-one years of convent life1
 ,i never had a chair with a back to it 
more than a dozen times in the refectory
 7as the dining-room is called74 ,it was
 either benches or stools4  ,the        
following will show the spirit in which 

a sister should receive her food1 given 
at my spiritual instruction during      
retreat3  ,,meals4  ,attention and      
devotion in saying the prayers before   
and after meals1 eyes modestly cast     
down1 a deep sense of my own misery1 a  
pure intention in this animal exercise4 
,never to pick or choose of what comes  
to table4 ,if anything is disagreeable1 
to thank ,god for having given me an    
opportunity of mortification4           
,according to rule1 we are allowed two  
hours' recreation each day1 which1 in   
reality1 are about the busiest two hours
 of the day4 ,oh1 no1 ,rome does not    
give her sisters any two hours' real    
recreation1 or rest1 during her long    
hours of labor4 ,such work as preparing 
fruit for canning or vegetables for     
cooking1 folding clothes that are often 
very damp1 picking over unsanitary      
gauze1 tearing rags for carpet1 picking 
over feathers from old pillows1 and     
other undesirable work is done during   
these two hours2 and then they say the  

sisters have plenty of recreation and   
rest4  ,at three o'clock every afternoon
 the sister must repair to some private 
place for profound prostration4 ,that   
is1 she must kneel and bend forward and 
say3 ,jesus ,christ became obedient unto
 death1 even unto the death of the      
cross4 ,son of ,god1 dying upon the     
cross for the salvation of souls1 we    
adore thee2 eternal ,father1 we offer   
,thee this1 thy divine ,son2 accept1 we 
beseech thee1 ,his merits in behalf of  
the suffering souls in purgatory1 for   
the conversion of all poor sinners1 and 
of all in their agony4 ,in addition to  
this prayer1 she must say the ,hail6    
,mary and the ,our ,father three times  
each1 or remain kneeling the time it    
would take to say them and meditate on  
the prayer said4 ,then1 this exercise is
 completed by kissing the floor4  ,three
 times each day1 five minutes is spent  
in examining our conscience4 ,we write  
in a little book provided for that      
purpose1 our faults and imperfections4  

,before going to confession we are      
supposed to look over this book and in  
this manner we forget nothing the priest
 should know4  ,a bell called the       
regulation bell calls us to each and    
every one of these holy exercises1 and  
no matter what the sister is doing when 
this bell rings1 even if a patient is   
sorely in need of her care1 she must    
stop and go to her religious duties4 ,if
 she is late to any of them1 it means   
punishment1 either by reprimand or      
penance1 or maybe both4 ,my readers can 
draw their own conclusions as to the    
care a patient gets from a sister-nurse1
 when these religious duties comes      
before the duties of nursing4  ,one of  
the great inconveniences and discomforts
 of a sister-nurse is the clothes which 
she is compelled to wear4 ,the garb     
which ,i wore for thirty-one years      
weighed about fifteen pounds1 and there 
is no change of weight in this holy     
habit for cold or warm weather4 ,our    
petticoats and stockings are the only   

garments that are changed in weight for 
the different temperatures4 ,we are     
allowed two garbs at a time1 but a      
sister wears one nearly all the time    
until it is worn out4 ,all the cleaning 
these garbs get is a little brushing    
with soap and water1 and when it gets   
discolored1 it is dyed to its original  
color4 ,one of these garbs ,i had for   
twelve years1 and when ,i discarded it1 
there was only a small piece of the     
original left4 ,think of the cleanliness
 and sanitation of these poor girls1    
wearing such clothes1 perspiring over   
the sick1 and from cooking and doing    
laundry work1 and even being under the  
rule of asking permission to take a     
bath4 ,over all this when we cared for  
the sick1 we tied a large white apron1  
slipped on a pair of white sleeves1 and 
then the patients would say1 ,how       
sanitary these sisters were4 ,poor1     
deluded public2 poor1 secluded girls2   
they are not to blame1 they do the very 
best they can under the gag-rule of     

,rome4 ,is it any wonder to you that the
 average sister dies between the ages of
 twenty-one and thirty-five years1 when 
they are compelled to live in this      
manner and endure the terrible practices
 ,i have mentioned in this chapter8     
,,chapter ,,vi4    ,,how ,i ,,educated  
,,myself4   ,i ,,become ,,superintendent
 ,,of ,,the ,,third ,,floor ,,at ,,st4  
,,vincent',s4   ,in the order of the    
,sisters of ,charity of ,providence1 the
 rules restrict the members to certain  
reading4 ,the books we were allowed to  
read were those on the ,roman ,catholic 
religious practices1 such as ,christian 
,perfection by the ,jesuit1 ,alphonsus  
,rodriguez1 a set of books on           
,meditation by ,st4 ,ignatius1 also a   
,jesuit1 a book on the ,conferences of  
,st4 ,vincent de ,paul1 a prayer book1 a
 manual of community prayers1 and a book
 of rule4 ,if a sister should wish to   
read any other books1 outside of a few  
like these ,i have named1 she must have 
permission from her superior1 even to   

the reading of ,the ,lives of the       
,saints4  ,the reading of secular1 or   
profane1 as it is called1 books are     
never allowed under any conditions4 ,no 
magazines1 newspapers or periodicals are
 they ever allowed to read4 ,if there   
happened to be an article in some       
religious magazine or paper that it was 
decided to let the sisters read1 it was 
cut out and handed to them1 hereby      
having permission to read it4 ,think of 
the terrible darkness the poor girls are
 kept in1 with nothing to develop their 
mental faculties1 nothing to read except
 the few chosen books1 and when you have
 read one you have read all1 and this   
over and over again1 year in and year   
out4  ,when ,i came to ,st4 ,vincent's  
,hospital1 ,i had been in the order     
about twelve years4 ,twelve years of    
almost silence2 twelve years of ,latin  
prayers2 twelve years of communion and  
confession2 twelve years of ,roman      
convent-slavery2 twelve years of        
retrogression4  ,i found myself almost  

lost as to how to talk intelligibly to  
the doctors and patients4 ,my vocabulary
 was certainly very limited4 ,i felt the
 grave necessity of doing something to  
aid me in my work4 ,but how8 ,that was  
the great question in my mind for some  
time4 ,i had been taught that ,god would
 punish me if ,i dared to read anything 
except what ,i was allowed4 ,and1       
believe me1 even twelve years'          
experience in the convent had changed my
 views of ,romanism but very little1 if 
any4  ,finally1 one day while on the    
daily routine1 a newspaper came to my   
notice1 and ,i dared to read just one   
line4 ,i waited a day or two to see if  
,god would punish me4 ,then1 when       
nothing extraordinary happened1 ,i dared
 to read a few lines more1 and ,i waited
 a few days again to see what ,god would
 do4  ,at last the opportunity came4 ,in
 one of the rooms ,i found a book1 by   
the name of ,at the ,mercy of ,tiberius4
 ,i dared to read it1 and oh1 how ,i    
enjoyed that novel4 ,it was the first   

book of that nature1 profane reading1   
that ,i had ever read4 ,but trouble was 
brewing4 ,some sister had seen me       
reading1 and although she did not know  
exactly what it was1 she knew that it   
was not a religious book1 and she       
reported me to the superior4 ,when the  
superior asked me about it1 ,i told her 
,i had been reading a book1 where it    
could be found and offered to go and get
 it for her4 ,but ,i had her bluffed and
 she told me to never mind4  ,it took me
 about six months to read this first    
book1 as ,i had to steal away and read  
for only a few minutes at a time4 ,where
 do you suppose ,i went to do this      
un-,roman1 un-,christian act of         
endeavoring to enlighten my mind8 ,in   
dark closets1 bath-rooms1 and in fact   
any place ,i could secret myself1 so ,i 
would not be seen by some of the other  
sisters4 ,for it would mean a reprimand 
and very often a penance1 and the sister
 thus charged with having broken this   
point of the holy rules1 is held under  

suspicion4  ,for some time after this it
 was a problem to my mind as to how ,i  
was to obtain other reading4 ,in time ,i
 made friends among those who came to   
the hospital1 and very often these good 
people1 mostly ,protestant or           
non-,catholic1 would present me with    
some little token1 showing their        
appreciation of the kindness shown them1
 as is done to most sisters4 ,instead of
 accepting money or other gifts1 which  
by rule had to be turned over to the    
superior1 ,i would ask them to give me  
some book1 generally leaving the nature 
of it to their discretion1 if ,i thought
 ,i could trust them4 ,then ,i would    
warn them to be very careful when they  
gave it to me that no sister saw them do
 so1 as it would mean trouble for me4   
,in this manner ,i received much good   
reading1 books that were very           
instructive4 ,when a book was too large 
to carry around in my big pockets1 ,i   
would cut or tear off a piece of it1 and
 throw the remaining portion on some    

old1 dusty cupboard in the attic1 until 
,i had read the piece torn off1 then get
 a small ladder or box and tear off     
another piece1 and so on until ,i had   
finished reading the entire book4 ,one  
good friend gave me a small dictionary1 
which was a great help to me4 ,another  
gave me a book of word study1 which ,i  
covered with a prayer-book cover and    
studied in chapel4 ,this was a case of  
,johnny ,morgan wasn't here4  ,by       
stealing1 thieving and lying1 so to     
speak1 in this manner ,i read and       
studied for a great many years1 and ,i  
credit my final escape from darkness and
 ignorance largely to the fact that ,i  
had independence enough to read and     
friends kind enough to give me these    
books4  ,during the summer of #ahii1 ,i 
was appointed to the superintendency of 
the third floor of ,st4 ,vincent's      
,hospital4 ,in this position1 which ,i  
held for twelve years1 ,i found a few   
more minutes occasionally to read1 and  
to exercise the little independence ,i  

possessed4 ,the result1 the more ,i     
read1 the more independent ,i became1   
and this was one of the grave charges   
brought against me when ,i was at last  
transferred1 or1 ,i might say1 dragged  
from ,portland4  ,one of the great      
responsibilities of the office of       
superintendent was the caring of the    
priest's apartment which was on my      
floor4 ,there was the chaplain of the   
hospital who resided in this apartment1 
and he nearly always had from one to    
four wafer ,god manufacturers visiting  
him1 and you may be sure it was not a   
small care to see that these gentlemen  
had everything of the best1 principally 
in the dining-room4 ,i always had to    
take particular care to see that there  
was plenty of cream for their tables    
when possibly some of the patients had  
to do without or take skimmed milk1 and 
many times the over supply would sour   
before it could be used4 ,i just mention
 cream1 but it was the same about many  
other things1 it was always the very    

best of everything obtainable--cigars   
and liquors included4 ,yes1 ,i have     
carried many bottles of wine to these   
priests1 as well as carrying baskets of 
empty bottles down the back stairs1 that
 had been emptied by these holy celibate
 men of ,god4 ,a large refrigerator was 
kept especially for this apartment with 
a large padlock on the door4 ,it might  
have contaminated these holy men of ,god
 if their food had happened to have been
 mixed with that of a wicked secular1   
you know4  ,illustration3 ,st4          
,vincent's ,hospital1 ,portland1        
,oregon1 ,where ,i ,served ,eighteen    
,years of ,my ,sisterhood ,life4        
,another very interesting feature of    
this new office was the care ,i had to  
give sick priests4 ,there was nearly    
always some priest occupying a private  
room on my floor1 sometimes sick1 as    
they are only human and susceptible to  
the same ills as others1 but many times 
on sick leave1 in other words1 just     
plain drunk4 ,many times they would stay

 with us a month at a time1 and once ,i 
remember1 one made a nice long stay of a
 year1 or more1 but he was not drunk4 ,i
 had to help these gentlemen many times1
 when they were much more able to help  
themselves than ,i was4 ,but ,i was a   
woman1 a spouse of ,christ1 and these   
so-called men were the representatives  
of ,christ1 and that made the           
difference4  ,soon after ,i had received
 the appointment of officer of the third
 floor there were many complaints from  
the patients and physicians about the   
food and the manner in which it was     
prepared4 ,so it was decided that some  
of the sisters should go to a cooking   
school which was being conducted by a   
woman by the name of ,miss ,porter1 in  
the ,exposition ,building1 ,nineteenth  
and ,washington ,streets4 ,i happened to
 be one of the chosen number1 and we    
took a series of twelve lessons1        
principally on preparing dainty dishes  
such as could be used for the sick4     
,after ,i had completed this course1 ,i 

was appointed to teach cooking to the   
nurses in the training school and the   
young sisters in addition to my other   
duties4 ,i conducted this class from two
 to three-thirty in the afternoon4  ,our
 rules prescribe that the hour from two 
to three be observed by profound        
silence1 and also that no sister shall  
partake of any food outside of the      
dining-room without special permission  
from the superior4 ,during the teaching 
of this class on cooking1 ,i was        
compelled to talk to the sisters1 and it
 was also quite necessary that they     
should talk to me1 in order that they   
could get the proper instruction4 ,when 
they would cook some dish ,i would      
request them to taste it1 that they     
might judge for themselves as to the    
seasoning4 ,these were serious breaks of
 the rules1 and it caused trouble for me
 after ,i had been instructing the class
 about six weeks4  ,my young sister     
pupils plotted with the superior to     
cause my removal1 and wrote to the      

,mother ,provincial1 ,sister ,mary      
,theresa1 who was at that time in       
,oakland1 ,california1 instituting a new
 house of the order4 ,sister ,mary      
,theresa did not write to me about the  
matter1 but took it up with my superior1
 who came to me and said that there was 
so much complaint about me causing the  
sisters to break the rule that she would
 have to change me4 ,she was going to   
take the superintendency of the third   
floor away from me and send me to the   
basement to the fruit cannery to teach  
cooking4 ,i told her that ,i could not  
do that4 ,i had learned how to cook     
because she had wanted me to1 and that  
if ,i was going to teach it1 ,i was     
going to teach it right2 and if she     
would delegate some other sister1 ,i    
would teach her all ,i knew about       
cooking and ,i would be through with it4
 ,but she did not want me to do that1   
she wanted me to keep the class4  ,i had
 done the very best ,i could with the   
class1 and all this trouble was caused1 

not because ,i was unsuccessful1 but    
because the sisters broke some of the   
rules of the order1 which could not be  
avoided if they wished to learn4 ,the   
action of the superior had caused me    
much distress1 both of heart and mind1  
and with the assistance of two stewards 
of my floor1 ,i placed all the cooking  
utensils and supplies of the school in a
 large box and sent it to the superior's
 room4 ,for weeks she tried to prevail  
upon me to take the school back1 but ,i 
refused to have anything more to do with
 it4  ,this instance may not be very    
interesting to my readers1 but ,i relate
 it to show how little petty happenings 
cause so very much trouble1 and very    
often serious trouble for the poor girls
 in these institutions4 ,there are many 
more instances of this nature ,i could  
relate1 but ,i do not care to burden you
 with them4 ,my action in this little   
matter caused me to be looked upon with 
great suspicion and a certain amount of 
contempt from the other sisters4 ,it was

 this sort of treatment that caused me  
to write notes of the cruelties ,i1 with
 other sisters1 had to endure4 ,i       
expected to give these notes to some    
trust-worthy friend to read after my    
death1 but for some unknown reason ,i   
kept them and have them at the present  
time4  ,about this time1 also1 ,i had a 
class of about twenty young sisters to  
whom ,i taught what nursing ,i had      
acquired1 principally from experience4  
,this was soon abandoned1 for the reason
 that it interfered with evening prayer 
and retirement at nine o'clock1 the only
 time that could be found during the day
 to hold the class4  ,of all the        
superstitious and pagan practices that  
enforces the vow of obedience1 is the   
traditional exercise of penances or     
penalties4 ,the most inhuman1 unjust1   
humiliating and very often torturing    
punishments are imposed upon the sisters
 for breaking any of the many childish  
rules--rules that just as really and    
truly bind the poor victim as though she

 was a criminal in the penitentiary4  ,a
 sister is only human4 ,the holy black  
garb she wears does not change her4 ,she
 is subject to the same sorrows1 the    
same joys1 the same love1 the same hate1
 the same humility1 the same pain as    
you4 ,but here in these hellish1        
soul-destroying institutions1 walled    
high to keep the ,protestants out1 they 
say1 there is a system in vogue that    
holds women in servitude--yes1          
slavery--and for failing to heed the    
voice of ,god1 which is the voice of the
 priest1 or superior1 or the toll of the
 religious bell1 or the observance of   
the book of rule1 there is a penalty    
imposed1 penalties such as will torture 
or humiliate the poor subject4  ,some of
 the torturing penances are the wearing 
of the armlet--a chain with little      
prongs on it to prick the flesh2 the    
scourging of the bare body with the     
discipline or                           
cat-o'-nine-tails--constructed of heavy1
 knotted cord2 kneeling and praying with

 arms extended in the shape of a cross2 
and the wearing of the chastity         
cord--constructed of heavy1 knotted     
cord4 ,this practice ties up our virtues
 and keeps us chaste and pure4  ,some of
 the humiliating penances are the       
kissing of the floor many times a day1  
kissing the feet of our companions1     
fasting1 silence1 eating off the floor1 
and many other little1 petty practices  
and self-denials too numerous to        
mention4  ,think of it1 a system here in
 free1 ,protestant ,america1 in this day
 of advanced civilization1 holding women
 in subjection and demanding practices  
of this nature6  ,to illustrate the     
teaching of this system in regard to    
penances1 ,i wish to quote from ,st4    
,rita's ,prayer ,book1 compiled by ,rev4
 ,chas4 ,ferina1 ,d4,d41 and this       
publication has the imprimatur cross of 
,john ,m4 ,farley1 then ,archbishop     
elect of ,new ,york4 ,on pages #ce-cf3  
,she 7,st4 ,rita7 renounced her property
 in favor of the poor1 renounced every  

earthly tie to devote herself entirely  
to austere penance4 ,she professed to   
have no compassion for her body4 ,she   
scourged herself thrice every day1 the  
first time being the longest and the    
instrument composed of little iron      
chains4 ,vigils1 hair-shirt1 the        
discipline1 and rigid fasts were the    
arms used to afflict her body1 knowing  
that penance is the only means of       
expiation and salvation for fallen man1 
although our material age would utterly 
ignore it4 ,in changing her costume     
,rita had no need to change her habits1 
for1 as we have seen1 as a girl1 a wife 
and widow1 she had ever led a stainless 
life4 ,her aim now was to attain the    
height of perfection4 ,but amidst her   
penances1 she had the sweetest          
consolations2 and during her lengthy    
prayers1 her fervent colloquies with    
,god1 her daily and nightly meditations 
on the passions of our ,lord ,jesus     
,christ1 rapt in her ,creator1 her soul 
totally absorbed in ,him and almost     

detached from her body1 experienced     
heavenly delights4     ,,chapter ,,vii4 
,,sacrament ,,of ,,penance--,,mass ,,and
 ,,communion--,,extreme                 
,,unction--,,indulgences--,,annual      
,,retreat4   ,i have previously         
mentioned that ,i was compelled by rule 
to go to confession every eight days4 ,i
 wish to comment on this ,sacrament of  
,penance1 as confession is called1 and  
some of the other practices and         
ceremonies of the ,roman ,catholic      
religion4  ,of all the practices that   
holds adherents to the ,roman ,catholic 
system1 the telling of the many faults  
to the so-called mediator between ,god  
and man--the priest--stands paramount4  
,why not8 ,roman ,catholics are raised  
to think and believe that by confessing 
their sins to the man representative of 
,christ in the confessional and         
receiving absolution1 ,god has also     
forgiven them4 ,god's ,word says in #ast
 ,timothy1 second chapter1 fifth verse1 
,for there is one ,god1 and one mediator

 between ,god and man1 the man ,christ  
,jesus4 ,not any representative of      
,christ1 but ,christ ,himself4  ,the    
confessional box is a trap for the      
convent1 and after the poor girls are   
once there they are shackled more than  
ever in the faith of the religion by the
 priest in the confessional4 ,the girls 
abandon themselves1 body1 heart and     
soul1 to the instructions and directions
 of this ungentlemanly man--for no true 
gentleman would ever ask the dirty1     
filthy1 indecent questions in public or 
private that these men ask many of the  
girls and women in this so-called holy  
private place1 the confessional--this   
man1 whom we1 as sisters and ,roman     
,catholics look to as the mediator      
between us and ,god1 often in the form  
of a drunken man4 ,yes1 ,i have known   
not a few1 and have waited on them in my
 work at the hospital for a great many  
years1 and ,i cannot call to my mind one
 of these holy men of ,god who did not  
partake of the best liquors obtainable1 

and ,i have had to protect more than one
 from the people there so there would be
 no scandal4  ,then to these            
liquor-soaked priests ,i was forced to  
turn and kneel to confess my sins1 to   
lay bare the innermost thoughts of my   
soul and most sensitive feelings of the 
heart and then submit to the most       
humiliating1 shameful questions--so     
shameful and degrading that ,i am not   
permitted to print them or to repeat    
them4  ,the priest is the sister's only 
confident--she must talk to him on      
subjects that she would not tell her    
mother4 ,he is to her what ,christ would
 be if ,he would come from ,heaven and  
sit there with her4 ,he is her          
justifier1 as she is absolutely in his  
wily meshes and victimized in his       
hellish power--for nothing less than    
hell on earth is the confessional to    
sisters4 ,it is the destroyer of womanly
 purity1 womanly refinement--destroying 
the higher instincts and ennobling      
qualities4 ,a sister does not talk in   

the confessional of what is best and    
noblest in her1 but is racking her brain
 all week preparing and gathering       
everything that is mean1 low1 degrading1
 contemptible--digging up secret things 
to tell and talk about to the priest4   
,the thought of having to stoop and     
grovel so low and worm-like is          
sickening1 not only soul sickening1 but 
often agonizing physically to the       
extreme1 in the act of ejecting and     
getting rid of a vast amount of much    
imaginary wrong and scruples4 ,it keeps 
the mind poisoned and enslaved in the   
powers of darkness1 busily endeavoring  
to become sanctified on the mistaken    
road of pagan degradation1 dispair and  
hell4  ,a form of beginning and         
finishing confession4 ,this is precisely
 the same form ,i used all my life in   
the church of ,rome1 but ,i will copy   
from ,deharbe's ,catechism1 translated  
from the ,german by a ,father of the    
,society of ,jesus1 of the ,province of 
,missouri1 published by ,benziger       

,brothers1 ,printers to the ,holy       
,apostolic ,see1 and with the           
,imprimatur of ,john ,card4 ,mc,closkey1
 then ,archbishop of ,new ,york4 ,page  
#aaj1 question #ee3  ,how do you begin  
,confession8  ,having knelt down1 ,i    
make the sign of the cross and say3     
',bless me1 ,father1 for ,i have sinned4
 ,i confess to ,almighty ,god1 and to   
you1 ,father1 in ,his stead1 that since 
my last confession1 which was 444 ,i    
have committed the following sins4'     
7,here ,i confess my sins47  ,question  
#ef4 ,how do you conclude your          
confession8  ,i conclude by saying1     
',for these and all my other 7,p4 ,,iii7
 sins which ,i cannot at present call to
 mind1 and also for the sins of my past 
life1 especially for 444 ,i am heartily 
sorry4 ,i most humbly ask pardon of     
,god1 and penance and absolution of you1
 my ,ghostly ,father4'  ,question #eg4  
,what must you do then8  ,i must listen 
with attention to the advice which my   
,confessor may think proper to give me1 

and to the ,penance he enjoins2 and     
whilst he gives me absolution ,i must   
excite my heart to true sorrow4  ,now1  
if the priest is good and kind enough to
 say the magic words1 ,i absolve the1   
etc4 and absolve the penitent1 he is    
just as pure and free from sin1         
according to the ,roman ,catholic       
belief1 as if he had submitted to       
baptism1 and he can go and sin again1 so
 long as he will return to the priest   
for absolution4  ,jeremiah ,j4 ,crowley1
 in his book1 ',romanism--,a ,menace to 
the ,nation1' tells of the moral        
theology which the priests have to study
 to become priests1 and which ,i think  
will interest my readers4 ,mr4 ,crowley 
was a priest in the church of ,rome for 
twenty years4  ,page #gd4 ,moral        
,theology of the ,roman ,catholic       
,church1 printed in ,latin1 a dead      
language1 containing instructions for   
auricular confession1 is so viciously   
obscene that it could not be transmitted
 through the mails were it printed in a 

living language2 neither would priests  
and bishops dare to propound said       
obscene matter in the form of questions 
to female penitents if their fathers1   
husbands and brothers were cognizant of 
the satanic evils lurking therein2 in   
fact1 they would cause the suppression  
of auricular confession by penal        
enactment4  99 99 99 ,confessors search 
the secrets of the home1 and so are     
worshiped there1 and feared for what    
they know4  7,page #gf47 ,if it is the  
purpose of state or government to       
prevent crime and eradicate its causes1 
the whole of this diabolical system     
called the ,confessional1 which is known
 to worm out the secrets of families1   
the weaknesses of public men1 and       
thereby get them under control--to      
either silence them or make them active 
agents in the ,roman ,catholic          
cause--above all1 the debauching of     
maids and matrons by means of vile      
interrogatories prescribed by ,liguori1 
and sanctioned by the ,church--should be

 abrogated by a national law in every   
civilized country on the globe4  ,while 
,i was a novice1 the ,master of ,novices
 in his religious instructions to the   
novices1 told us that the worst         
,catholic stood a better chance of      
saving his soul than the best           
,protestant1 because the ,catholic1 no  
matter how many or grievous the sins he 
might commit1 could confess them to the 
priest and be forgiven2 while the       
,protestant1 though he might be a very  
good man1 had no priest to confess his  
sins to1 and cannot be forgiven4        
,therefore1 he dies in sin1 as every man
 is sinful1 and is lost1 for the        
,scripture says1 ,nothing defiled can   
enter ,heaven4  ,three things are       
necessary for absolution--contrition1   
confession and penance4 ,of course1 the 
priest pronounces the words of          
absolution before the penance is        
performed1 but the remission of the sins
 confessed is not complete until the    
penance is performed4 ,every sin must be

 confessed to the priest1 the most      
secret and grievous1 or there can be no 
remission1 according to the ,roman      
,catholic teaching4  ,with these        
teachings and this papal practice of    
confession you can readily understand   
how this one sacrament of the ,roman    
,catholic ,church1 more than any other  
binds the people to it4 ,let me say as  
,mr4 ,crowley said to the ,american     
brothers1 husbands and fathers who have 
sisters1 wives and daughters being      
entrapped in this terror of all terrors1
 the confessional--get educated on this 
subject4 ,and let me say that when you  
do1 if there is any manhood in you1 the 
confessional in the ,roman ,catholic    
,church will cease4  ,mass is the       
perpetual sacrifice of the ,new ,law1 in
 which ,christ offers ,himself in an    
unbloody manner1 as ,he once offered    
,himself in a bloody manner on the      
,cross4 7,deharbe's ,catechism1 page    
#ih47  ,to hear mass1 we are witnessing 
in a sort of mummyfied manner1 a show at

 the altar1 which is lighted with       
candles1 decorated with flowers1 costly 
images of the ,blessed ,virgin ,mary and
 ,saints1 holy pictures1 relics of the  
saints1 gold or silver ciboriums and    
ostensoriums1 and many other articles of
 altar and sanctuary use too many to    
enumerate4  ,during this or other       
ceremonies1 the priest is dressed in a  
long oriental robe covered with a       
kimona-style surplice--which is often   
nearly all costly lace--chasuble1 cope1 
maniple1 stole1 mitre1 and other        
gaudy-colored1 gold-fringed1 embroidered
 pieces of apparel4  ,the mass must be  
recited in ,latin4 ,the priest at the   
altar with his back to the congregation1
 recites ,latin prayers for from        
one-half to three-quarters of an hour4  
,during these prayers the act of        
transubstantiation takes place4 ,that   
is1 the changing of the wine and bread  
into the actual body1 soul and divinity 
of ,jesus ,christ4 ,that is the actual  
belief of the ,roman ,catholic          

adherents1 as in the creed of ,pope     
,pius ,v1 it says1 ,i profess1 likewise1
 that in the ,mass there is offered to  
,god a true1 proper and propitiatary    
sacrifice for the living and the dead2  
and that in the most holy sacrament of  
the ,eucharist there is truly1 really1  
and substantially the ,body and ,blood1 
together with the soul and divinity of  
our ,lord ,jesus ,christ2 and that there
 is made a conversion of the whole      
substance of the bread into the ,body1  
and of the whole substance of the wine  
into the ,blood2 which conversion the   
,catholic ,church calleth               
,transubstantiation4 ,i also confess    
that under either kind alone ,christ is 
received whole and entire1 and a true   
sacrament4 7,chamber's ,ency41 ,collier 
#ahij1 under ,roman ,catholic ,church47 
,to receive communion1 the sisters in   
the convents where ,i have been1 marched
 to the altar by twos1 knelt and        
received the body of ,christ1 but never 
the blood4 ,no one is allowed any of the

 wine1 or blood1 except the priest or   
substitute ,christ4  ,if1 during this   
ceremony1 a crumb of the body of ,christ
 should happen to drop on the communion 
cloth1 that spot must be marked1 and    
after the ceremony is completed1 the    
priest sprinkles some holy water on the 
spot1 says a few ,latin words1 makes a  
few signs with his holy hands1 then it  
is purified1 and whatever is used in    
this purification is burned1 or         
sometimes washed4 ,the ,corporal1 which 
is a piece of linen used for handling   
the body and blood of ,christ in the    
mass1 must always be washed or rinsed by
 the priest before it goes to the       
laundry1 because the sisters who do the 
work in the laundries have not holy     
hands1 and the priest's fingers have    
been consecrated and are therefore holy4
  ,in speaking on transubstantiation1   
,william ,cathcart1 in his book1 ,the   
,papal ,system1 says 7pages #agj-aga71  
,the priests scorn the idea that there  
could be any figure in the declaration3 

',this is my body1' but when ,paul says3
 ',for as often as you shall eat and    
drink the chalice1' they must grant that
 it is not the chalice but its contents 
that are to be drunk4 ,if it is not a   
figurative expression1 the priests of   
,rome should swallow the cup as well as 
the contents4 ,the words1 ',i am the    
vine1 ,i am the door1' are literal if   
the expression is not figurative1 ',this
 is my body4' ,no community would suffer
 more than the ,catholic ,church from a 
non-figurative interpretation of every  
scripture word4 ,in the ,catholic ,new  
,testament1 ,matt4 xvi4 #bb1 #bc1 it is 
said3 ',and ,peter taking him began to  
rebuke him1 saying3 ',lord1 be it far   
from thee1 this shall not be unto thee'2
 who turning said to ,peter3 ',,go      
,,behind ,,me1 ,,satan1 ,,thou ,,art ,a 
,,scandal ,,unto ,,me1 because thou     
savourest not the things that are of    
,god1 but the things that are of men4'  
,if the words1 ',this is my body1' must 
be taken literally1 we would mildly     

insist that ,christ's address to ,peter 
shall be taken literally too when ,he   
said to him3 ',go behind me1 ,satan1    
thou art a scandal unto me4' ,according 
to that interpretation1 ,peter is the   
chief of devils1 and the ,church of     
,rome1 built on ,simon1 is founded on   
,beelzebub himself4 ,a literal          
interpretation of the words1 ',this is  
my body1' leads to sacred cannibalism2  
and of the saying in ,matt4 xvi4 #bb1   
#bc1 makes ,peter the devil1 and        
,lucifer the foundation of the ,papal   
,church4 ,a figurative view of both     
passages is the true one4  ,extreme     
,unction is a ,sacrament1 in which by   
the annointing with holy oil and by the 
prayers of the priest1 the sick receive 
the grace of ,god1 for the good of their
 souls1 and often also of their bodies4 
7,deharbe's ,catechism1 ,page #aad47    
,extreme ,unction is commonly known as  
the ,last ,sacrament of the ,roman      
,catholic ,church4 ,it is administered  
only when there is danger of death4  ,i 

often had to prepare the dying for this 
sacrament4 ,the articles used were a    
crucifix1 holy water1 lighted candles1 a
 piece of bread1 and five wads of       
absorbing cotton4 ,the priest would     
come1 unwrap his silk bag containing the
 holy oil 7chrism71 dip the cotton in   
the holy oil and apply to the parts of  
the body where the five senses are      
located--the forehead1 to cleanse the   
mind of the sins of thought2 the eyes1  
for the sins committed by the sight2 the
 mouth1 for the sins of speech2 the     
ears1 for the sins of hearing2 and the  
hands and feet1 for the sins of feeling4
 ,the last members of the poor          
suffering1 ,i often had a difficult time
 to get handy for the priest to apply   
his chrism1 particularily in paralysis  
or accident cases4 ,during all the      
ceremony the priest is reciting ,latin  
prayers4  ,the piece of bread is for the
 priest to cleanse his fingers after the
 ceremony4 ,it must be destroyed1       
together with the cotton used1 by fire  

so that no particle of the holy oil will
 be desecrated4  ,this sacrament is     
supposed to help the soul of the person 
receiving it to heaven1 but it does not 
keep him from the torments of purgatory4
  ,before a person is entitled or can   
accept this sacrament he must be        
baptized in the ,roman ,catholic        
,church4 ,the sisters in the hospital   
must do all in their power to convert   
,protestants to the ,roman ,catholic    
faith before death4 ,i was instructed   
that ,i was not a secular nurse1 but a  
religious and ,sister of ,charity1 and  
as such it was my duty to convert all   
,protestants and non-,catholics         
possible4  ,i remember one very         
interesting case of this kind that      
happened soon after ,i went to ,st4     
,vincent's ,hospital4 ,my officer1      
,sister ,mary ,bonsecours1 requested me 
to go with her to a room occupied by a  
,methodist lady who was dying1 and she  
would show me how to make converts4 ,in 
addressing the lady1 among other things1

 she said that the ,roman ,catholic     
,church was the only true church4 ,all  
who were not baptized in it would not be
 saved and would surely never see ,god4 
,the lady simply remarked that she was  
satisfied with her religion4 ,about the 
third time ,i accompanied the sister to 
the lady's room1 she was passing into   
the last agony1 and the sister leaned   
over her and shouted into her ear that  
her soul was going to hell forever for  
not being a ,roman ,catholic4 ,that is  
the manner in which many of the sisters 
endeavor to obtain the patient's consent
 for baptism into the ,roman ,catholic  
,church1 and if they are yet rational1  
they are entitled to the last sacrament1
 ,extreme ,unction4  ,a very convenient 
practice for the ,roman ,catholic       
adherents is that of gaining            
,indulgences4  ,an ,indulgence is a     
remission of the temporal punishment due
 to our sins1 which the church grants   
outside of the ,sacrament of ,penance4  
7,deharbe's ,catechism1 ,page #aab47    

,can ,indulgences be applied also to the
 ,souls in ,purgatory8  ,yes1 all those 
which the ,pope has declared to be      
applicable to them4 7,deharbe's         
,catechism1 ,page #aac47  ,temporal     
punishment due to our sins is that which
 we have to suffer here on earth or in  
purgatory4 ,this includes the penance   
imposed upon the penitent by the priest 
after confession4 ,if the penitent is   
truly contrite for his crime1 the priest
 has the privilege to relax the penance 
and grant indulgence1 that is1 he cannot
 be granted indulgence unless he is in a
 state of grace1 which is after having  
confessed and having been absolved1 and 
fulfilled the requirements of the       
absolution4  ,one of the means of       
gaining indulgences for the sisters was 
the saying of short prayers1 for each   
one said1 so many days indulgence being 
gained4 ,for instance1 for saying3  ,my 
,jesus1 mercy6 ,mary1 help6 #bjj days'  
indulgence4  ,sweet ,heart of ,jesus1 be
 my love4 #cjj days' indulgence4  ,sweet

 ,heart of ,mary1 be my salvation4 #cjj 
days' indulgence4  ,if we should have   
some friend or relative dead whom we    
thought was in purgatory1 we could offer
 these prayers1 with many others1 for   
them and in that manner shorten their   
days of torment in that middle region1  
as well as shorten our own sufferings   
there4  ,once each year every sister is 
required to spend eight days in what is 
called annual retreat4 ,that is1 eight  
days' religious exercises and spiritual 
instructions by a priest--generally a   
,jesuit priest in the order ,i was a    
member of--conferences1 the performance 
of penances1 etc4  ,the priest gives    
five spiritual instructions each day of 
this retreat1 each one lasting about an 
hour4 ,we must keep absolute silence    
during these eight days1 except to speak
 to the ,mother ,provincial on our      
shortcomings and to the priest in       
confession4 ,at this confession the poor
 sister is supposed to tell all the     
wrongs and sins committed during the    

past year1 and hours are spent in       
preparing and waiting1 kneeling outside 
the confessional box1 crouching in fear 
and trembling1 hoping and praying that  
she may escape some of the indignities  
of this terrible exercise4  ,at these   
retreats the sisters were allowed to    
take notes of the spiritual             
instructions1 and ,i will copy from some
 of the notes ,i took4 ,these           
instructions were given by ,father      
,mc,guckin at the ,mother ,house at     
,vancouver1 ,washington1 on the subject 
of ,poverty4  ,it is not according to   
the spirit of poverty if we think we    
must require a remedy for every little  
ache or suffering or pain4 ,we must bear
 those things with ,christian fortitude 
without a remedy or alleviation4 ,we    
must not make a superfluous use of      
things1 even of things we are allowed to
 have for our use of necessity4 ,if we  
have things that we are attached to1 we 
should take them to the superior1 even  
if she should make us take them back1   

then we have made the sacrifice1 and    
,god accepts the will for the deed4     
,why deprive ourselves of that merit8   
,there is nothing small in regard to    
poverty1 even to a piece of thread4 ,we 
cannot be too scrupulous in detaching   
ourselves from the world and ourselves4 
,the things of the community do not     
belong to us and we have no right to    
anything at all nor to dispose of       
anything--everything belongs to ,god and
 should be used as such and taken care  
of just the same as the sacred          
vestments4 ,we have no right to make any
 agreements with any person in the      
world1 where we1 personally1 would have 
any responsibility1 for we have nothing 
and it would be shifting the            
responsibility upon the community4  ,we 
cannot accept a present for ourselves   
without permission1 but we can and      
ought1 whenever no condition is         
expressed1 with the intention to give it
 to the superior to dispose of for the  
congregation4 ,we must never refuse an  

offer when it is for the congregation4  
,it is our duty to accept and let that  
person do his good work4 ,every         
congregation is generally or always in  
need of means to perform good works4    
,let everybody contribute to good4  ,we 
must do our work with anxiety or        
solicitude1 doing our best4 ,cast your  
care on the ,lord and ,he will take care
 of you4  ,in this chapter ,i have      
endeavored to explain some of the many  
practices and ceremonies of the ,roman  
,catholic system1 as ,i have found that 
there are very few ,protestants who     
understand the import of these in the   
,roman ,catholic religion4  ,the ,roman 
,catholic definition for ceremonies of  
the ,church1 is ,certain significant    
signs and actions1 ordained by the      
,church for the celebration of the      
,divine ,service4 7,deharbe's           
,catechism1 ,page #abg47 ,so you see    
that these various ceremonies must be   
observed by the ,roman ,catholics       
because the church says so1 not that    

,christ instituted any such practices   
while ,he was here4 ,and1 whenever the  
,church wishes1 she can add a few more  
to her already long list of ceremonies1 
and the ,roman ,catholic must believe in
 it and practice it1 or he cannot       
continue to be ,roman ,catholic4        
,,chapter ,,viii4    ,,my ,,trip ,,to   
,,the ,,general ,,mother ,,house   ,the 
sisters of the order to which ,i        
belonged were given a visit to the      
,mother ,house in ,montreal1 ,canada1   
once during their sisterhood life1      
providing they could outlive their turn1
 as the older sisters came first4 ,this 
was a great privilege for the sisters1  
an opportunity to drink deep in their   
souls the spirit of holiness emanating  
from the saintly sisters who had been   
spiritually formed and perfected in     
conventual practices--the ,mother       
,foundresses of the ,order4  ,i will now
 tell you how ,i received this          
privilege4         99       99       99 
99       99  ,my father died in #ahif1  

and when his estate was settled ,i      
received #ejj4jj in cash4 ,it was       
understood long before this between the 
sisters and myself that when he died1 if
 ,i would receive anything from him1 ,i 
would pay my dowry of #cjj4jj to the    
community4 ,out of the #ejj4jj ,i       
received from him1 ,i paid my promised  
#cjj4jj to the community1 and placed the
 remaining #bjj4jj on deposit at ,st4   
,vincent's ,hospital for safe keeping1  
as ,i had promised it to the ,abbott of 
,mt4 ,angel ,college for the education  
of a nephew of mine4  ,while this money 
was on deposit at the hospital1 the     
,superior ,general1 ,mother ,antoinette1
 tried to induce me to take my trip to  
the ,mother ,house4 ,there were several 
sisters who wanted the office ,i filled 
at that time1 superintendent of the     
third floor1 and they also thought it   
was a good time for me to go on this    
trip4 ,i could see that it was the      
#bjj4jj and my office they were after1  
so ,i refused to take the trip at that  

time4  ,a few years later1 #aijg1       
,sister ,rita and myself decided it was 
then time for us to go to the ,mother   
,house1 so we began to plan in order    
that we would not be refused when we    
asked permission of the ,superior       
,general1 ,mother ,antoinette4  ,sister 
,rita had been at the hospital all the  
years ,i had been there1 and we had     
become very friendly and chummy--that   
is1 as friendly and chummy as sisters   
can be4 ,we had agreed not to make      
trouble for each other by telling tales 
to the superior1 and this agreement made
 it possible for us to come together on 
some common1 sisterly interests with    
just a little less suspicion4 ,so1 on   
account of this friendly feeling1 and   
because we could talk on a few subjects 
other than the ,sainte ,vierge and      
miraculous medals1 we were determined to
 take the trip together4  ,we made our  
desire known to one of the leading      
doctors of ,st4 ,vincent's ,hospital1   
whose name ,i purposely withhold1 and he

 promised to see the officials of the   
transportation companies1 and arrange1  
if possible1 for our transportation4 ,he
 returned with a very favorable report1 
and then we asked ,mother ,antoinette   
for the permission to go to ,montreal1  
which was granted4 ,our doctor friend   
told us that we should visit ,new ,york 
while in the ,east1 and asked us if we  
would go if he would get transportation4
 ,we told him we certainly would if we  
could get the consent of the ,superior  
,general4 ,he informed us a little later
 that arrangements had been made for the
 trip to ,new ,york4 ,he then suggested 
that we should return by way of the     
,south1 but we feared that we could not 
get the consent of the officer of the   
order4 ,mother ,antoinette did not care 
about giving us the permission to take  
the trip to ,new ,york and through the  
,south1 but she knew that the           
transportation had been arranged1 and   
that ,sister ,rita and myself were      
popular with the patients and doctors at

 the hospital1 so she consented1 fearing
 that if she did otherwise it would     
injure the interests of the institution 
with the business people and doctors of 
,portland1 who were our friends4  ,as   
soon as our many friends learned of our 
plans to go ,east1 they very readily    
came to our rescue with money for our   
berths1 meals and other expenses while  
stopping at the various cities we       
expected to visit4 ,one very good friend
 of ,sister ,rita's gave her a check of 
#bjj4jj4 ,she also had some money from  
her relatives and friends4 ,i had       
received some money from relatives and  
from my friends1 and this1 together with
 some ,johnny ,morgan money made several
 hundred dollars we had between us4 ,i  
had heard of sisters taking trips ,east 
with the so-called ,johnny ,morgan      
money1 and ,i had also seen one of the  
superiors of ,st4 ,vincent's1 ,sister   
,frederick1 send presents which had been
 given to me and been turned over to her
 by me as our rule prescribes1 to her   

people in ,canada1 so ,i decided to use 
my ,johnny ,morgan teaching now1 and ,i 
found it very handy4 ,a nurse friend who
 had trained at ,st4 ,vincent's         
presented each of us with a very fine   
,japanese suitcase1 so we were well     
equipped for our journey4  ,i had been  
sick for a long time before this1       
several times sick enough to die1 and   
,sister ,rita told me that she was      
almost afraid to go with me for fear    
that she would have to bury me on the   
way4 ,i told her not to worry about me2 
that if ,i died to see that ,i was put  
under ground1 and say1 ,good-bye1       
,lucretia1 and go on with the journey4  
,on the evening of ,june third1 #aijg1  
we were prepared to start and were met  
by a few friends at the ,union ,depot1  
who presented us with dainty lunch      
baskets with enough good things to eat  
until we arrived at ,chicago1 our first 
stop4  ,we were met at ,chicago by some 
of my relatives1 ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,gorman1
 who entertained us during our stay of  

ten days4 ,i had a relative in the      
,notre ,dame ,convent1 whom ,i visited  
while there4 ,her sister1 a married     
woman1 asked me if ,i could do anything 
for her sister's 7the nun7 sickness1    
which ,i found to be nervousness4 ,i    
told her the best thing to do for her   
was to take her out of the convent and  
let her live like other people live4    
,the next stop was the ,mother ,house1  
,montreal1 ,canada4 ,this building was  
an immense1 dark stone structure1 six   
stories in height1 a sure enough        
penitentiary-looking ,roman             
fortification4 ,the walls of this       
enormous building encloses a large      
novitiate1 which has about one hundred  
novices most of the time2 large         
dormitories for the sisters1 some of    
them fitted to accommodate forty1 and   
dark except when lighted by artificial  
light2 a printing plant operated by the 
sisters1 used to print the books and    
other literature for the many houses of 
the order2 sewing rooms1 where clothes  

are made for the novices in the         
novitiate and other inmates of the      
,mother ,house2 a department where the  
sisters make slippers for the inmates of
 the house2 a chapel1 community room1   
large kitchens1 dining-rooms for the    
chaplain and sisters1 bakeries1 an      
infirmary and operating room1 and in    
fact a department for nearly everything 
used for the sisters in this            
institution4  ,illustration3 ,head      
,mother ,house of the ,sisters of       
,charity of ,providence1 ,montreal1     
,canada4  ,most of the professed sisters
 at this house are those who have passed
 their years of usefulness in the work  
done by the order1 such as hospital     
work1 teaching1 orphanage1 etc41 or are 
sickly sisters who cannot do the outside
 work4 ,there are always several hundred
 sisters at the ,mother ,house sent from
 the numerous houses of the order from  
all over the country1 many of which pass
 their few remaining years in solitude4 
,there are about six sisters who attend 

to the business of this house1 which is 
the head of all the different houses of 
this particular order1 and all reports  
must be made to the head sister1 who is 
called the ,mother ,general4  ,during   
our visit there1 we were accompanied by 
two of the holy ,maison ,mere 7,mother  
,house7 nuns to an iron vault1 to gaze  
upon and venerate the fleshy heart of   
the ,bishop ,founder of the order1      
,monseigneur ,ignase ,bourget1 which was
 there preserved in about two quarts of 
alcohol4 ,we were told by the           
accompanying sisters that every year on 
,monseigneur ,bourget's feast day1 this 
heart turned to its natural blood-color4
  ,this ,bishop was the ,christ         
representative who said to the five     
foundress sisters who first came to the 
,northwest to build prison convents     
here3 ,go1 my daughters6 ,fear          
nothing--,i send you in the name of the 
,sovereign ,pontiff4 ,multiply          
yourselves to the greater glory of ,god4
 7,nov4 #ast1 #ahef47  ,we also had the 

privilege and honor of joining in a     
novena prayer for the cure of a crippled
 girl4 ,this novena was offered to      
,mother ,gamelin1 a sister foundress of 
the order1 who had been dead since      
,september #bc;d1 #ahea1 and who was now
 working miracles which was a final test
 to prove she was worthy of canonization
 by the ,mother ,church4 ,it being time 
for our annual retreat1 we were obliged 
to listen to eight days of ,french      
preaching1 confession1 prayer and       
silence in the ,mother ,house4  ,a large
 portion of the city of ,montreal is now
 in the hands of the ,roman ,catholic   
system--churches1 convents1 parochial   
schools or other ,roman institutions    
facing the streets every few blocks4    
,these portions of the city are         
inhabited by the ,french ,canadians     
mostly1 and as a general thing they have
 very large families and are poor1      
almost to a degree of poverty4 ,the     
church bleeds them of their scanty      
earnings1 then in the winter open soup  

houses in the name of ,charity4 ,one of 
the sisters at the ,mother ,house told  
me that she had seen some of these      
people walk in their bare feet in the   
snow to some of these charitable soup   
houses to partake of the little bowl of 
soup that body and soul might be kept   
together4  ,the children in these       
families are nearly all raised in the   
parochial schools and churches and know 
nothing but the ,romish teaching and    
that is the reason there are so many    
,french ,canadian priests and sisters4  
,the home and family life of the people 
are so closely related to monastic life 
that it cannot be called taking a step  
in life when the boys and girls enter   
the convent1 it is just continuing from 
babyhood to the end of life in the      
drudgery of the nunneries4  ,while at   
the ,mother ,house1 ,i was told that the
 ,french ,canadian people were fast     
loosing their faith and becoming        
infidels1 leading a life of worldliness 
and degradation4 ,who is to blame for   

this condition8 ,surely not the poor    
people who have been priest-ridden all  
these years4 ,it is just the same story 
you hear of every country where ,rome   
has had the control for any length of   
time4  ,we visited the ,hotel ,dieu     
,nunnery where ,maria ,monk had her     
terrible experiences as a black nun4    
,the interior of this convent indicated 
the truth of her description in her     
book4 ,in the hospital part there were a
 few rooms for patients1 but principally
 wards--the beds having curtains around 
them4 ,we witnessed a doctor making his 
daily sick visit4 ,he was accompanied by
 sisters all in black1 except a bit of  
the face and hands4 ,these sisters would
 handle the medicine and dressings which
 were kept in a cabinetlike table1 with 
nothing to protect them from the dust   
but a curtain around the table4 ,on top 
of these tables were oratories1 such as 
we had in the chapels1 containing       
flowers1 statues1 holy water fountains1 
etc4 ,i asked what these oratories were 

for and was told they were for the sick 
to pray to for their cures4  ,when we   
were ready to leave this institution1 ,i
 asked the sister that accompanied us   
through1 if she would come to the gate  
with us4 ,she came to the threshold of  
the door and stopped and said that the  
sisters were not allowed to pass the    
door without special dispensation from  
the ,archbishop4  ,in another ,black    
,nunnery ,convent we visited there was a
 large ward1 probably one hundred feet  
long and sixty feet wide1 filled with   
small1 low beds1 for the accommodation  
of babies and children4 ,i saw probably 
forty or fifty children not older than  
six years4 ,i asked the sister if the   
sisters there were allowed to take care 
of babies of that age1 for ,i knew the  
sisters in my community were not1 and   
she told me that they were not2 that    
they had nurse-girls to take care of    
them and that there was a sister        
appointed to oversee the work4  ,we were
 taken to the basement of this          

institution and saw the private burial  
places of the holy ,mother ,foundress of
 the order and several other sisters    
particularly distinguished for great    
sanctity and supernaturally gifted while
 living1 as we were told4 ,these burial 
places were marked by a small1 narrow   
board at one end1 and a small wooden    
cross1 about a foot high at the other4  
,the fourteen stations of the cross were
 erected along the walls that surrounded
 this burial ground4 ,special           
indulgences and blessings were supposed 
to come to anyone praying in this holy  
place4 ,we were also told that anything 
that was placed on the grave of the holy
 ,mother1 and remained there for some   
time1 became holy1 and that if these    
articles were kept and venerated1 the   
holy person or saint would be the means 
of special blessings to us4 ,i was given
 a small sprig of a flower made holy in 
this manner1 and ,sister ,rita and      
myself had a laugh over it4 ,when ,i    
reached the street1 ,i discarded this   

holy relic4  ,we spent four days        
visiting the ,longue ,pointe ,insane    
,asylum near ,montreal4 ,this asylum    
included seven magnificent stone        
buildings1 and had four hundred and     
twenty acres of ground4 ,at the time we 
were visiting1 there were two thousand  
inmates and two hundred sisters who     
attended the sick4 ,there were also a   
large number of uniformed men to guard  
and attend the male patients4 ,we were  
told that the institution belonged to   
the government1 but had been turned over
 to the ,sisters of ,charity of         
,providence who had the sole supervision
 of it4 ,a great many sisters of the    
order ,i belonged to1 and other orders  
as well1 who became drunkards and with  
other ailments1 as well as being insane1
 are sent to this institution from all  
over the ,united ,states and ,canada4   
,i will give you an example of how some 
of the sisters go to this institution4  
,a sister ,i knew very well at          
,vancouver1 ,washington1 after an       

eight-days' retreat1 was found in a     
closet by another sister1 sawing on her 
neck with a common1 ordinary            
butcher-knife1 and had almost succeeded 
in putting an end to her troubles4 ,when
 asked what she was doing she just said1
 ,hell here or ,hell hereafter1 what is 
the difference8 and kept on sawing4     
,three older sisters sewed and bandaged 
the wound and as soon as she had        
recovered sufficiently to travel1 was   
sent to this asylum at ,longue ,pointe4 
,and this sister was not insane but was 
sick and needed a doctor and medicine1  
but in order to kill the scandal1 she   
was sent away so it would be forgotten4 
,we availed ourselves of the opportunity
 and went on a pilgrimage to ,st4 ,anne 
de ,beaupre1 ,quebec1 about one hundred 
and sixty miles from ,montreal on the   
,st4 ,lawrence ,river4 ,there were about
 seven hundred people on the steamer    
chartered for this pilgrimage4 ,the     
steamer was equipped with counters laden
 with small statues1 pictures1 rosaries1

 images magnified and encased in        
pen-holders1 lockets and other cheap    
trinkets for the passengers to purchase 
as souvenirs4 ,after buying them we     
would take them to the priest and have  
them blessed4 ,about every two hours    
during the entire pilgrimage1 we were   
assembled by order of the priest and    
made to say the rosary and other        
prayers4  ,at eleven o'clock at night we
 arrived at ,cape ,holy ,sacrament4     
,here we were all requested to go ashore
 and assemble in the church for a       
special benediction4 ,each passenger was
 required to purchase a candle1 just a  
simple tallow candle1 for which was     
charged fifteen cents4 ,when we were    
assembled in the church the priest      
blessed these candles with some ,latin  
prayers1 and then turned his back to us 
for about twenty minutes for some more  
,latin prayers4 ,after this holy        
benediction1 which very few1 if any of  
us1 understood1 we returned to the boat 
and continued our journey4  ,we arrived 

at the village of ,st4 ,anne de ,beaupre
 about seven o'clock in the morning and 
went direct to the wonderful basilica of
 ,st4 ,anne de ,beaupre1 where we heard 
mass and received the consecrated       
wafter-god before we could have any     
breakfast4  ,this basilica is a         
magnificent temple1 probably six stories
 in height1 with two high spires1 and   
wonderful chiming bells4 ,in the        
interior there is a large costly        
decorated altar1 and above this on      
either side are other altars4 ,on either
 side of the main auditorium are rows of
 installed chapels1 ten on each side1   
making twenty in all4 ,each of these    
chapels has its own altar and is        
dedicated to some saint and contains a  
life-size statue of that special saint4 
,the statue of ,st4 ,anne which works   
the miraculous cures is located about   
the centre of the basilica4 ,it is about
 twice the size of a man1 and standing  
on an onyx pillar about four feet high4 
,the open hands are extended a little   

from the body1 and from them stream rays
 of gold1 representing the great        
richness of ,st4 ,anne's dispensing     
power4 ,it is to this statue that       
hundreds of sufferers from all parts of 
,canada and this country travel every   
year in search of a cure for their      
infirmities4 ,there were on exhibition  
hundreds and hundreds of crutches1      
canes1 sticks and supports for all kinds
 of infirmities hung on the walls in the
 back of the church and on two immense  
pillars4 ,these were supposed to have   
been left there by people who had been  
cured by this wonderful statue of ,st4  
,anne4 ,then upon believing themselves  
cured of their ailment or infirmity they
 would pay whatever sum of money they   
could afford1 and that is the reason for
 such a magnificent institution in this 
small village4  ,on an elevation near   
the church was a small building called  
the holy ,sanctum4 ,leading to this     
building were twelve steps1 which1 in   
order to reach the entrance of the      

building1 we had to ascend on our knees4
 ,the images and statues in this        
building were most beautiful to         
behold--costly shrines1 life-sized      
statues of some of the martyred saints1 
and our ,lord1 as represented in the    
tomb4 ,the fourteen stations of the     
cross were engraved in fine art on the  
walls1 magnificent paintings on the     
ceiling1 such as the ,angelical         
,salutation of the ,virgin ,mary1 and   
other views emblematic of religion4     
,these things were all very interesting 
to look upon1 but the more ,i tried to  
pray and convince myself in my heart    
that this show was religion1 the more ,i
 found myself losing what little belief 
,i then had4  ,on leaving this holy     
,sanctum1 we passed a spring which had  
been tapped to make a fountain4 ,this   
was known as ,st4 ,anne's fountain1 and 
the water was supposed to possess great 
curative qualities4 ,i could not believe
 in all this sort of holy rot1 it was   
getting too strong for me1 but ,sister  

,rita took a small bottle of the water  
which she carried throughout the        
remainder of the trip4  ,next we looked 
in the basement of the church1 which was
 fitted up very much like the basements 
of our large department stores1 where   
all kinds of holy articles were for     
sale1 everything from expensive statues 
and priest's vestments to hundreds of   
devotional and superstitious trinkets of
 the ,romish belief4  ,there were       
thousands of people from the surrounding
 country at this village that day1 as it
 was one of the periodical pilgrimages  
to the ,st4 ,anne ,basilica4  ,returning
 to ,montreal we witnessed the grand    
processional parade of the ,french      
,canadian people celebrating their      
,national holiday1 the ,feast of ,st4   
,john the ,baptist4 ,this celebration1  
instead of being a civil affair1 seemed 
to be more of an ecclesiastical show1   
with all the various societies and clubs
 of the church parading in all the pomp 
and glittering raiment characteristic of

 the ,church of ,rome4 ,it seemed to me 
that it was more for the aggrandizement 
of the church than for the kindling of  
patriotism in the hearts of the         
citizens4  ,in ,quebec1 ,joliette1 and  
other cities and towns1 we could neither
 see nor hear anything of interest      
except the greatness of the rich        
churches1 the halls and pavilions for   
the celebration of festival and saint's 
days and nunneries1 and to admire the   
self-sacrificing spirit of the ,french  
,canadian people for the ,romish        
superstition4 ,of course1 the beauties  
of nature were very grand at that time  
of the year1 and we enjoyed it to a     
certain extent1 as much probably1 as a  
sister could4  ,thus seven weeks were   
spent in ,canada and we both rejoiced in
 shaking off the feeling of morbid      
depression of ,romish domination even   
though the trip was supposed to be one  
of pleasure4  ,in returning to the      
,states1 at ,st4 ,albans1 on the state  
line1 the trainman announced twenty     

minutes for lunch4 ,sister ,rita and    
myself hurriedly ordered some           
clam-chowder4 ,in a few minutes it was  
served1 and we had just begun to eat it1
 when we heard all aboard4 ,we had a    
forty-cent laugh1 minus the stew1 and a 
run for the train4  ,we stopped at      
,burlington1 ,vermont1 at ,niagara      
,falls1 ,buffalo1 ,albany1 ,new ,york   
,city1 ,philadelphia1 and ,atlantic     
,city4 ,at ,atlantic ,city1 ,sister     
,rita took sick1 so we went to          
,washington1 ,d4 ,c41 to the ,providence
 ,hospital which was conducted by the   
,sisters of ,charity whose ,mother      
,house was still in ,france4  ,in two   
weeks ,sister ,rita had sufficiently    
recovered to continue our trip4 ,we were
 determined to see what was dearest to  
our hearts in all this                  
trip--,washington's ,tomb4 ,we went as  
close as we could to the tomb1 knelt    
down and touched the cement floor inside
 the vault with our hands1 in feeling of
 gratitude for liberty to our country1  

even though we were bound to the        
government of the ,pope of ,rome4 ,for  
just after our visit to priest-ridden   
,montreal1 we were surely thankful for  
the liberty enjoyed in this country1 and
 we could see that it was this liberty  
that saved us from a greater hell on    
earth than we were living4  ,we visited 
,washington's ,monument1 the ,soldiers  
,home1 the ,white ,house1 the ,capitol  
,building and various other             
administration and government buildings4
  ,our respects were paid to ,st4       
,peter's ,cathedral1 which has become   
famous for the ,pan-,american ,mass held
 every ,thanksgiving ,day1 and which has
 been attended by several of our late   
,presidents4  ,near the city1 we visited
 a new monastery which was inhabited by 
,french ,monks4 ,the most interesting   
part of this place was that portion     
under the main building where the       
basement ordinarily would have been4    
,there was a long1 narrow zig-zag       
tunnel1 or passage1 about six feet wide 

and probably seven or eight feet high4  
,we were escorted through about one     
hundred feet of this tunnel and then the
 accompanying ,monk told us that the    
remainder of it had not been finished1  
so we returned4 ,along the sides of this
 tunnel were niches1 in which were      
placed statues1 which were visible only 
by the aid of small burning tapers4 ,in 
fact1 most of the tunnel was so dark    
that we were unable to find our way     
without the aid of a light carried by   
the ,monk4 ,it was a crude1             
spooky-looking place1 and both ,sister  
,rita and myself gave a sigh of relief  
when we were once again in the light of 
day and on top of ,god's green          
foot-stool4  ,we were informed by the   
priest that these tunnels were to       
commemorate the ,catacombs of ,rome at  
the time of the early ,christians4  ,we 
went to ,baltimore1 then crossed the    
,chesapeake ,bay to ,norfolk1 ,virginia1
 where we visited the ,jamestown        
,exposition4 ,the wonderful exhibits at 

this exposition1 the historic and other 
interesting places visited while there1 
were a revelation of the achievements   
and advancements of this great country1 
and the acquisition of much historical  
enlightenment4 ,we knew we were         
acquiring much knowledge forbidden by   
the ,pope of ,rome1 but we were greatly 
pleased to think that we were defeating 
this self-styled ruler of heaven1 earth 
and hell4  ,from ,norfolk we went to    
,new ,orleans4 ,for miles the streets of
 this large city were lined with little1
 antiquated1 unkept homes1 many of which
 seemed to be falling in ruin4 ,the     
question came to my mind1 ,why do these 
people not advance8 ,the answer was very
 apparent when we saw the strangle-hold 
the ,roman ,church had on them1 and how 
they had built immense churches1        
monasteries and convents for the        
glorification and fat-living of the     
ecclesiastical gods4 ,we visited the    
,jesuit church1 which was a structure   
magnificent and beautiful to            

behold--with its altars and             
ornamentations of bronze4 ,at that time 
this church was considered one of the   
most costly in ,america4  ,during our   
stay in ,new ,orleans1 we stopped at the
 convent of the ,dominican ,sisters4 ,in
 conversing with some of these sisters1 
we learned how they recruited their     
ranks4 ,some of the most trust-worthy   
sisters would be sent to ,ireland to    
talk the poor ,irish girls into coming  
to this country and living good1 pure1  
holy lives as sisters4 ,we were also    
told that as a rule1 these girls died   
very young1 and generally of            
consumption4 ,we saw some of them1 and  
they surely looked like caged birds1    
sorry and discontented1 home-sick and   
care-worn4 ,previous to this1 feelers   
had been placed before the sisters in my
 community to see what sisters were     
willing to go to ,europe to get recruits
 for the ,sisters of ,charity of        
,providence1 and when ,i saw these      
girls1 once1 no doubt1 rosy cheeked and 

beautiful1 but now pale and care-worn   
from the unnatural1 caged life they were
 living1 ,i made a vow that ,i would    
never be the means of enticing any      
foreigners to leave their homes to      
become slaves for the ,roman ,hierarchy4
  ,when we were in ,burlington1         
,vermont1 a sister-member of the same   
order ,i belonged to1 asked me to visit 
a relative sister of hers in the        
,ursuline ,convent in ,new ,orleans4 ,on
 the twelfth day of ,september1 #aijg1  
we visited this convent--a monstrous    
prison-looking institution1 about five  
hundred feet long4 ,within the entrance 
there was a hall along the outer wall   
and on the other side of the hall there 
were a number of small rooms1 or stalls1
 about eight by ten feet in size4 ,these
 stalls were separated from the hall by 
iron bars1 about one-half inch in       
diameter1 running from the floor to the 
ceiling1 about two inches apart4 ,i     
asked to see the sister by name1 and    
when she came we had to talk to her from

 the other side of these bars4 ,she     
extended her hand through the bars to   
shake hands1 and we kissed her the best 
we could with that barrier between us4  
,this was a cloistered order1 and yet   
there was a parochial school within the 
enclosure4 ,the children's parents and  
other visitors were only permitted to   
see the children or sisters as we had   
seen this sister4 ,about five feet from 
the floor1 in the center of the grating 
of each of these stalls1 was a little   
door about fifteen inches square1 with a
 padlock on the inside4 ,we were told   
these were used for articles brought    
there that were too large to pass       
between the bars4  ,we visited some of  
the large plantations for which the     
,south is famous1 seeing the cotton     
plants in all their different stages1   
from the flowering to the picking of the
 cotton4  ,returning to the ,pacific    
,coast we came by the southern route1   
through ,texas1 ,arizona and            
,california4 ,we stopped a few hours in 

,los ,angeles1 and about ten days at    
,san ,francisco and ,oakland4 ,from     
,oakland we visited ,stanford           
,university1 which was still very much  
demolished from the earthquake nearly   
eighteen months before4  ,we arrived    
home--at ,st4 ,vincent's ,hospital1     
,portland--on ,september thirtieth1     
after an absence of nearly four months1 
and ,i wish to impress upon you that in 
all our travels we did not receive one  
cent from our order--and they never once
 offered us any money to pay any of our 
expenses or showed us any sisterly      
solicitude4     ,,chapter ,,ix4    ,i   
,,receive ,,my ,,diploma ,,for ,,nursing
 ,,from ,,st4 ,,vincent',s              
,,hospital--,,trouble   ,,among ,,the   
,,sisters4   ,hundreds of people take   
trips like ,sister ,rita and ,i took in 
#aijg every year and there is nothing   
said about it1 for it is only a common  
trip for the people of the world4 ,but  
for two nuns in their garb to travel    
from one side of the continent to the   

other1 and from the north to the south1 
on a trip like this1 is extraordinary4  
,in all my sisterhood life1 ,i have     
never known any other two sisters to go 
on such a trip4 ,i have known them to   
take longer trips1 some of them to      
,europe1 but always on business4  ,once 
more at the hospital where we had spent 
so many years in drudgery1 the          
smoldering pride and natural ambition   
which had been suppressed and rudely    
beaten and forced into oblivion1 came   
from the hiding place with renewed      
vigor4 ,we realized that a great        
something had taken place within us4 ,we
 could not see things in the same light 
as before4 ,the trip had been           
educational for us1 and the knowledge   
acquired had driven deep into our hearts
 the conviction of the truth with such  
power that we found a terrible battle   
raging within us--,romish convent rot on
 one side and light on the other4  ,what
 were we to do8 ,we had no homes1 no    
place to go to live the remainder of our

 earthly sojourn2 we had served the best
 part of our lives for the ,roman       
institution and were no longer young2   
our health was not the best2 helpless   
from every point of view1 it was a plain
 case of go to work1 for better or for  
worse4  ,it was impossible for us to    
believe opened-eyed the foolishness of  
all the silly superstitions we had so   
long lived1 and yet from it there was no
 escape1 as it was by rule and practice 
and demand1 compulsory4 ,we talked it   
over and realized that we stood in need 
of a remedy to counteract the wiles of  
darkness--neither allopathic nor        
homeopathic prescription could          
accomplish this for us1 and we knew from
 experience that the ,romish priest     
could do nothing for us as he was the   
fountain head of the darkness and       
ignorance1 except perhaps administer a  
spiritual emetic in the confessional4   
,so we just took up our part of the work
 as tools1 grinding for the ,roman      
machine4  ,naturally1 the conditions at 

the hospital were the same as they had  
always been1 but the great change that  
had taken place in my life caused me to 
be more independent than ,i had ever    
been before4 ,i saw that the treatment  
accorded the sisters1 doctors1 nurses   
and patients was not right1 as well as  
they knew it4 ,they soon realized the   
degree of independence ,i had delegated 
to myself1 and ,i was overburdened with 
complaints of the wrongs that were going
 on4 ,not that ,i could directly correct
 the irregularities1 but that ,i might  
have some influence with those in charge
 of the workings of the institution4    
,at ,st4 ,vincent's there were sixty    
sisters--simply women--in whose hearts  
existed the same aspirations1 cravings  
and desires inherent in all human flesh4
 ,there were those sisters with their   
whole heart and soul perfectly sincere  
in their religion4 ,others who were the 
schemers1 intriguing in the most        
cunningly devised plans imaginable1     
workers of iniquity and the greatest    

injustices in the guise of religious    
show4 ,to your face this class would be 
so sanctified1 always saying prayers and
 looking to heaven1 but when your back  
was turned1 they would step on you1     
trample you under their feet1 or knife  
you to attain their end1 and that they  
might be glorified and exalted in the   
eyes of their companions and superiors4 
,the outside world will never know the  
real meaning of the word scheme until   
they have the opportunity of seeing the 
hellish plottings of a sister-schemer4  
,it is only natural that a sister will  
do her utmost to have work in which she 
is interested and has some inclination  
toward1 so that she can see and hear    
those things pleasing to her4 ,then when
 she is in her chosen work1 she will do 
all in her power1 just the same as other
 people1 to attain the best position    
possible that life might be brighter and
 she do the most good1 as well as to    
have a little more authority4 ,in order 
to gain her aspirations1 a sister is    

compelled by the hell-bound system to   
live in continual fire--the fire of fear
 and remorse--the fire of fierce        
wrangling through pride1 jealousy and   
ambition4 ,patients and doctors have    
come to me many1 many times1 with proof 
of the awful jealousy and inharmony     
among sisters4 ,they could not          
understand that a sister's world was so 
small and cramped by obedience that they
 could not get away from their last     
scene of hell and latest oppression4    
,it was about this time1 soon after my  
return from the ,east1 that there was a 
demand from the doctors and patients for
 more efficient nursing4 ,it had been   
public talk that the sisters did not    
train for the care of the sick and      
consequently did not have diplomas4 ,and
 yet1 these sisters1 with only          
experimental knowledge of nursing1 were 
head-nurses1 as superintendents and     
teachers in the training-school4        
,superiors were appointed who never had 
any previous hospital experience1 coming

 directly from orphanages1 schools or   
kitchen work4 ,others who came direct   
from ,canada1 who could not speak a     
dozen words of ,english1 would be       
appointed to some high office4 ,from    
these we would be compelled to take     
orders which meant blind and military   
obedience under penalty for the         
non-observance4  ,it was decided that   
some of the sisters should be given     
diplomas to show their qualifications   
for nursing4 ,i was one of the chosen   
few who received a beautiful scroll of  
paper certifying that ,i had completed a
 thorough course of training in medical 
and surgical nursing and had undergone a
 satisfactory examination1 in the       
branches taught in the training school1 
before certain members of the hospital  
staff who had attached their signatures4
 ,it was also signed by the ,superior   
,provincial and the local ,superior4    
,this diploma was a triple falsehood on 
the face of it1 as ,i had not taken a   
course of training1 ,i had not taken an 

examination before these doctors1 or any
 other doctors1 on the tenth day of     
,june1 #aija1 or any other time2 and1   
moreover1 ,i did not receive it until   
after ,i had returned from my trip      
,east1 which was #aijg1 which shows that
 it was either back-dated or had been   
kept in cold storage for several years4 
,illustration3 ,fac-simile of the       
,diploma ,i ,received from ,st4         
,vincent's ,hospital4  ,this was simply 
another delusion of the ,roman ,catholic
 ,hierarchy to hood-wink the public and 
cause them to think that the ,roman     
institutions were as efficient as other 
institutions4 ,personally1 ,i was       
qualified to nurse in nearly all        
branches1 as ,i will prove to my readers
 before ,i close this book1 but what ,i 
knew was not learned by a thorough      
training by any teacher other than the  
teacher of experience1 and now1 with    
over fifteen years of hospital work to  
my credit1 ,i was receiving what the    
ordinary nurse receives after three     

years' training--the diploma4  ,about   
#aiaj the new addition to ,st4          
,vincent's was opened for occupancy and 
it could then accommodate about four    
hundred patients4  ,the reports of the  
unfair treatment of the sisters and     
others as well1 were coming to me so    
fast that ,i decided to try to right    
them from within the order4 ,it was only
 the beginning of the end for me4 ,i    
appealed to all the women authorities1  
from the local superior to the ,mother  
,general1 but to no avail4 ,it simply   
caused the sisters in authority to look 
upon me with suspicion and disfavor1 and
 from the very first1 reports were      
circulated about me losing my faith1 and
 being a bad religious4 ,orders were    
given the sisters on my floor as to the 
management and also as to the manner in 
which they were to treat me4  ,the      
reports of what was going on had reached
 the ,mother ,house in ,montreal1 and   
the assistant ,mother ,general1 who was 
a very good friend of mine1 and at the  

same time endeavoring to smooth matters 
over in the community1 asked me to take 
the office of superior at ,astoria4 ,it 
was simply an attempt to get me out of  
,st4 ,vincent's and ,i refused to take  
the office1 knowing that ,i could not   
treat the sisters as a superior had to4 
,a letter soon came from the ,mother    
,house1 which ,i will here copy1 with   
others1 showing how the news of strife  
within the community travels4 ,also how 
cautious a sister must be with her      
letters4 ,the envelope was addressed to 
me1 and on the top of it had these      
words3 ,p4 ,s4 ,if not there return to  
me unopened4      ,providence ,mother   
,house1     ,montreal1 ,feb4 #aath1     
#aiaj4  7,this letter is for yourself   
alone47      ,sr4 ,lucretia1            
,portland1 ,oregon4      ,dear ,sister3 
,what's up8 ,it seems people find you so
 very1 very naughty--so naughty that    
strong measures are required4 ,look out1
 the comet 7,haley's ,comet7 may play   
serious tricks6 ,but nonsense apart1 do 

write me what has happened in that      
house8 ,you cannot imagine how anxious  
,i am1 knowing what injustice is        
sometimes meted out under the plea of   
good order and merely for the sake of   
carrying out certain plans to attain    
ones end4 ,be watchful4 ,i love the     
community with all my soul1 but ,i hate 
the iniquity wrought by some of its     
members through jealousy and ambition4  
,god help the weak6 ,i shall say no more
 today1 but leave it all to the strong  
right arm of the ,almighty4             
,good-bye and believe me1               
,sincerely yours1      ,,sister ,m4     
,,wilfrid4  ,this letter is proof that  
,i was not the only sister who knew of  
the wrongs and injustices that were     
going on under the plea of religion4    
,and believe me1 ,i was very grateful to
 receive this letter from one so high in
 the order as ,sister ,wilfrid4 ,it     
braced me up for the coming battle4  ,my
 reply was as follows3      ,st4        
,vincent's ,hospital1     ,portland1    

,oregon1 ,feb4 #bj1 #aiaj4      ,rev4   
,mother ,wilfrid1 ,asst4 ,gen41         
,montreal1 ,canada4      ,dear ,mother  
,wilfrid3  ,i am not aware of being so  
terribly naughty1 and the same comet    
7,haley's7 that will play unfair tricks 
on me might get a few played on it1 when
 tricky cards will be played4  ,when    
these strange and strong measures will  
be put to me ,i will certainly have to  
know of them and then it shall be my    
business to learn the reason1 and mine  
to employ whatever means ,i may require 
for justice or peace of soul and body4  
,any grievous wrongs coming to me       
through jealous and ambitious evil-doers
 will not be borne by me in a pent up   
heart any more like in the past4        
,accusations1 as also insinuations1     
which falsify will have to come to light
 and proof4 ,they can say all the dirty1
 wicked remarks about me they please4 ,i
 know but precious little good has ever 
been said of me by the community        
representatives out here in the past1   

and ,i do not expect better yet4 ,if ,i 
am ,american in my views and ways1 it   
does not make me irreligious or         
disloyal4 ,my faults and shortcomings   
are not worse1 nor of meaner character  
than those ,i am with1 and have lived   
with4 ,with little effort ,i can produce
 plenty comparisons4  ,i will not again 
suffer humiliating trials cast upon me  
without cause1 and worse1 to no purpose1
 but to incur the displeasure of ,god   
and to please deceitful1 jealous1       
scheming spirits4  ,you ask me what has 
happened this house8 ,it would take me  
six months to put it in writing and make
 a nervous wreck of myself and then be  
compelled to leave to others what ,i    
attempted to better4 ,time1 and sisters 
who will be trained by home religious1  
who will understand our people and      
sisters1 can only right things with us  
out here4 ,along these lines the trouble
 lies in this house4 ,we are even bad   
for knowing where trouble lies1 etc41   
etc41 etc4 ,you know as well as ,i do4  

,i work hard and know that ,i work well1
 and ,i do my duty the best ,i know4    
,the crime is1 ,i haven't the ,l'esprit 
de la religieuse1 because ,i am not     
,french and they can't bake me over     
other than ,god made me4 ,amen4         
,with love in prayer1 ,i am1      ,yours
 very sincerely1      ,,sister          
,,lucretia1     ,s4 ,c4 ,s4 ,p4  ,on    
,march #ajth1 #aiaj1 ,i wrote her again1
 further explaining what was going on1  
as follows3  ,dear ,mother ,wilfrid3    
,another item which stands black against
 me is that ,i have been taking care of 
,archbishop ,christie this winter4      
,three weeks' special nurse and for     
three months ,i went nearly every day to
 his residence to give his arm massage  
treatment4 ,i did my hospital work all  
but the entering of a few names along   
with the extra work4 ,i gave classes in 
nursing to the sisters two evenings per 
week4  ,now1 of course1 ,i should be    
made to feel very sorry that ,i have    
been capable of giving agreeable service

 to such a distinguished patient4 ,it   
being out of the question to punish him 
for being pleased with my care or an    
expression of a word of gratitude4 ,so1 
it should behoove me to be put through  
the expiatory system to atone for my    
sins of having done well and more than  
the usual effort4 ,i can't tell where   
the glory of such ,christ-like doings   
belong4 ,no doubt it is the right       
spirit--too bad ,i haven't it4 ,what a  
grievous sin it must be to please1 etc4 
,another item1 my name was cast a good  
many times in the ballot box on election
 evening for the new superior4 ,i       
suppose ,i might be called upon to      
glorify ,god by expiating for this crime
 also1 in some way or other4 ,those     
brilliant gems are being added to other 
hallows1 too4 ,what ,paradise6 minus    
innocence4 ,amen4      ,as ever4        
,very truly yours1      ,,sister        
,,lucretia1     ,s4 ,c4 ,s4 ,p4  ,just a
 day or two after ,i mailed the         
foregoing letter1 ,i received a note    

from ,mother ,wilfrid asking me to write
 further1 explaining more fully the     
national hatred mentioned in my first   
letter--she not having received this    
last one as yet4 ,so on ,march #ahth1   
#aiaj1 ,i wrote at length3      ,dear   
,mother ,wilfrid3     ,the only reason  
,french sisters have no use for me1 and 
would never give me a sign of prestige  
is that ,i am not ,french4 ,that is my  
awful crime4 ,i am liked and approved of
 by all that ,i have dealings with--the 
doctors1 the people1 the sick--great and
 lowly--the nurses1 the help of the     
floor--all express happiness and        
pleasure on seeing me4 ,the             
,english-speaking sisters find a few    
minutes' comfort of mind and a little   
peace and enjoyment in my company4 ,in  
the eyes of jealous1 evil minds it must 
be wicked to possess gifts which radiate
 peace1 happiness and harmony4  ,i even 
admit that ,i am not dead to approbation
 or condemnation4 ,i naturally like to  
give to everybody of the best ,i have1  

whatever it may be--to receive people   
well and friendly1 to serve someone a   
lunch1 or to do some little favor of    
whatever kind1 or if it were only a few 
kind words of encouragement4 ,if anyone 
wishes my secret1 ,i am not jealous to  
give my recipe4 ,i always made it a     
particular point to do everything as    
well as ,i could and know that ,i do it 
with as pleasing and cheerful           
disposition as possible4 ,but that is   
poison to the other side4 ,i am and     
always have been successful in my       
office4 ,i taught a class of sisters    
7nursing7 since the beginning of last   
,september1 and ,i know that ,i did it  
right and successful the times ,i could 
get them4  ,why such national prejudice 
and jealousy8 ,really what the last     
election 7superior's election7 here     
showed1 after all the talking of doing  
away with the spirit of nationality1 the
 prayers and conferences to the same    
purpose1 then the nationality spirit    
manifested itself with more force than  

ever before1 at least openly1 so that   
one knows what to call it4 ,it shows    
clearly1 too1 that there will never be  
harmony1 and it is obvious that one kind
 will predominate as long as they can1  
and when they cannot1 the next majority 
will4  ,our community has failed to     
prove1 up to now1 that it is a success  
to have mixed nationalities4 ,in time1  
of course1 anyone can see that one kind 
will give way to the other1 but not by  
means of harmony--probably by the same  
methods as of the past1 the stronger or 
the majority shall control the weaker or
 minority4 ,as it was in the beginning1 
is now1 and ever shall be1 world without
 end4 ,amen4 ,said this time in truth   
and effect4  ,first of all1 our people1 
the ,english-speaking sisters1 have no  
one to go to for redress1 who           
understands them in their troubles and  
trials and difficulties of a business or
 social nature1 simply silence and      
obedience without a faint feeling of    
even a little sympathy in common4  ,the 

,jews did not understand our ,lord and  
,his suffering1 but the ,blessed ,virgin
 did4 ,i believe ,he had a few other    
household members who were not only     
loyal1 faithful and devoted to ,him1 but
 harmonious1 too4 ,if there was jealousy
 and disagreement1 ,i do not believe    
that a good and generous worker was     
taken out of office by the ,master and  
put aside as an evil spirit or put      
through humiliating and heart-rending   
trials till there would be nothing left 
but a grimace and distorted body or an  
insensible being1 an object of pity and 
sadness4  ,should religion1 if it was   
the right kind1 make people wish and    
sigh for death to come and put an end to
 their misery8 ,why all this profession 
of religion if it cannot grow a few     
flowers and plants of joy and happiness1
 if it has to legislate people so stiff 
and cramped in body and mind that they  
cannot bend without breaking1 or breath 
enough left in them without looking     
haggard or half dead8  ,religion and    

church are not to blame for want of     
breadth1 harmony and strength amongst   
ourselves in organizations4 ,it is up to
 the majority of us sisters to make life
 part ,paradise or all ,purgatory on    
earth1 and all the sermons on charity   
that could be preached in the world and 
all the good will and generosity put    
together will fail to produce peace and 
harmony in a community which cannot     
organize and legislate just and fair    
dealings to begin with4 ,man knows and  
appreciates this4  ,with the other      
letters ,i have sent you1 you can see   
the situation4 ,with love as ever4      
,sincerely yours1      ,,sister         
,,lucretia1     ,s4 ,c4 ,s4 ,p4  ,the   
reply ,i received was as follows3       
,my dear ,sister ,lucretia3      ,lest  
you worry about your letter of ,march   
#ahth1 ,i come1     although ,i have but
 a few moments to myself1 to say it     
reached     me in due time4 ,i have read
 and re-read it and find that what      
you say is true4 ,oh6 if trying to      

please and comfort 7without             
sacrificing one's religious principles7 
and succeeding therein     were crime1  
,i earnestly wish there were more       
criminals among     us4 ,in any case1 ,i
 would urge you to continue to make     
other's     lives happy1 and not allow  
the narrow-mindedness of some and       
the unkindness of others to cast        
bitterness into your own life4     ,it  
is hard1 sometimes1 but there are enough
 beauties and     sweetnesses in life if
 we will only take them1 and ,i am sure 
you have proved until now you know where
 they are to be found     and how to    
make use of them4 ,continue1 dear       
,sister ,lucretia2     nothing that is  
good ever dies2 we have often heard this
 and     perhaps so far have had        
occasions to experience its truth4      
,allow me to quote a few lines ,i found 
not long ago and find     encouraging3  
,if you live the most devoted and       
disinterested     life possible1 you    
will find people sneering at you and    

imputing your actions to selfish motives
 and putting a cruel     construction on
 all you do or say4 ,well1 it does not  
matter1     for we shall all be         
manifested at the ,judgment seat of     
,christ1     before ,god and men and    
angels4 ,let us live to please ,him1 for
     our integrity of motive will be    
known at the last1 and put     beyond   
all dispute4      ,i have just learned  
that ,sister ,rita has been transferred 
to     ,oakland4 ,i hope she will like  
the ,south and make herself happy4      
,believe me1 dear ,sister1              
,sincerely yours1      ,,sister ,m4     
,,wilfrid1     ,s4 ,c4 ,s4 ,p4  ,you    
will observe from the foregoing letters 
that we1 as sisters1 do not hold the    
system accountable for the wrongs we    
have to endure in the convent4 ,we      
believe that the sisters alone are at   
fault1 as ,i have stated in my letters  
to ,mother ,wilfrid4 ,but the man or    
woman with ordinary intelligence1 who   
reads these conditions as they were at  

that time can readily see the real      
source4 ,the heads of the institution1  
who had the sole power1 instead of the  
bettering conditions1 tolerated and     
permitted them to remain4 ,at that1 ,i  
have my grave doubts if the convent     
system could ever be harmonious4 ,think 
of housing a large number of women under
 one roof1 bound by the ironclad1       
childish rules and precepts4 ,they are a
 barrier to life1 liberty and the       
pursuit of happiness1 which the         
,constitution of the ,united ,states    
guarantees every citizen4 ,they make    
progress an impossibility4 ,the outside 
world thinks the convent system is a    
success because they see the            
institutions grow in size and number1   
which is due to the economic methods of 
free sister-service4 ,they never have   
the opportunity to see success from     
within4  ,as a further proof that the   
system is the cause of discord1 strife  
and inharmony among the sisters ,i will 
copy another letter ,i wrote to ,mother 

,wilfrid4 ,there is some repetition of  
portions of my former letters1 but ,i   
think the whole of the letter will      
interest my readers1 even though it is  
lengthy3       ,dear ,mother ,wilfrid3  
,i will bring a few other points before 
you1 ,mother1 which means      inharmony
 in our order4 ,i do not intend to      
convey to you the      idea that ,i am  
an oracle of success4 ,the intention    
being simply      to consider some of   
the principal essentials required for   
success4 ,just a little mental view of  
things4       ,we all admit that        
experience is a great                   
teacher--observation      its necessary 
accompaniment4 ,both are in vain unless 
a      practical application can be made
 of the lessons to be learned      from 
them4       ,one of the first essentials
 of success is common honesty4 ,if      
those who have had experience in one    
kind of work could only      dare to be 
sincere enough to express the           
difficulties they      meet1 in such a  

manner as to better conditions4 ,what's 
in the      way8 ,prejudice1 the fear of
 not standing high as a perfect         
religious1 sisters1 whether qualified   
for leadership or not1      ambitious   
for high offices4 ,if the companion     
should be a little      more gifted in  
some things than the superior1 she      
should make      herself so small and   
subservient that she can scarcely think4
      ,if she cannot look scared1 stand 
back and look perfectly mum4      ,she  
is proud1 independent1 trespassing on   
the superior's      rights1 disloyal and
 rebelling against all rightful and     
lawful      authority4 ,she is placed in
 a responsible position and not         
permitted to be woman enough to be      
justified in her own      actions4 ,she 
has to of necessity1 due to             
inorganization1 make a      blunder of  
herself and her work4 ,we are constantly
 blundering      and straightening out  
after each other4 ,experience should    
have      taught some of us how to      

improve upon blundering ways4 ,take for 
one thing1 the frequent changing of the 
sisters without system      or method1  
often for no reason--then because some  
have put      their heads together to   
bare so-and-so out1 they have to eat    
black bread4 ,she has given             
offence--,god alone knows for what      
trifle4 ,she must be punished and made  
unsuccessful even if the      house and 
place where she is will suffer the loss 
of her good      and successful work4   
,this might be saying a good deal for a 
subordinate1 but it is the price paid   
for lessons taught by      experience4  
,we will have better organization only  
when we will      have our sisters      
taught from the time they enter the work
 for      which they have aptitude1     
talent and inclination1 and leave       
them generally where they are contented 
and successful and not      shift them  
about from house to house1 pillar to    
post1 without      serious reason4 ,we  
ought to know by this time that a work  

one      does not care anything about   
she will not put much effort or         
interest in4       ,to stand the        
hardships in connection with every      
occupation1 one      must have some     
liking for it and be qualified to       
succeed4 ,and      then there will be   
plenty of room to love ,god and suffer  
for      ,him1 and any number of chances
 to practice the highest degree      of 
religious perfection--entire abnegation1
 if you will4 ,such a      one can be on
 the way to ,gethsemane every day with  
greater      fervor rather than murmurs4
       ,as a general rule1 people who   
have worked the greater part of         
their lives or years in certain works1  
particularly when they      reach the   
years of about forty1 adapt themselves  
with great      difficulty to an        
entirely different kind4 ,they need the 
efforts and thoughts as well1 of younger
 years to correspond      with their    
generosity and good will4 ,first of all 
to grasp the      situation1 and then a 

renewing of energy1 as it were1 they    
need      new thoughts to keep in       
progress with the changing conditions4  
,i cannot see that we have to be a      
misfit to be a good      religious1 and 
to cripple every natural                
gift--physically or      intellectually4
       ,it takes years of study1        
practice and experience to acquire the  
knowledge to fit ones self for the      
proper and successful way of            
handling any work or business4 ,people  
who are every year1 or      every few   
years1 starting something new1 are      
always beginners1      possessing a     
superficial or smattering knowledge of  
many      things1 and thorough in none4 
,this is the way our house is largely   
represented here now--and      we wonder
 what is the matter6 ,what has happened1
 ,st4      ,vincent's8 ,the greater     
wonder is that things go on as well as  
they do4       ,another mistake our     
people make is that of ousting out of   
office those who do have the good will  

and energy to capacitate      themselves
 for their work and prove a success all 
round by      making a little more of   
themselves than the ordinary hum-drum   
routine sisters4 ,the spirit of the rule
 is one kind of      spirit--and there  
are other spirits4 ,if ,i have not the  
spirit1      ,god forgive me4 ,there are
 plenty of others who have not the      
spirit4 ,is it the spirit when one is   
successful in an office      and in all 
her dealings with the people she comes  
in contact      with1 to not even make  
an effort to have harmony and           
understanding on the part of her        
superiors if misunderstanding      and  
discord exists8 ,they are not able to   
face you with one      correction or    
complaint1 but through the religious    
system1      under cover of all that is 
holy1 to oust her and throw her         
down and out1 as it were1 regardless of 
human feelings or sense      of         
righteousness--no1 not even common      
civility4 ,anyone not made      of      

cast-iron is bound to break--body and   
spirit--under such      tremendous      
pressure4       ,such is ,sister ,rita's
 case1 for one4      ,yours as ever1    
,,sister ,,lucretia1     ,s4 ,c4 ,s4 ,p4
   ,i want it strictly understood by my 
readers that all the letters ,i have    
here produced were written by me while  
,i was yet a sister at ,st4 ,vincent's  
,hospital1 and superintendent of the    
third floor of that institution4 ,i     
could tell the same facts without the   
evidence of these letters1 and in a     
great many less words1 but ,i wish to   
let the world know that ,i knew while   
there that the governing heads of the   
institution were doing nothing to better
 the then existing conditions of        
inharmony and discord among the sisters2
 but1 on the other hand1 were making    
matters worse for them by transferring  
older sisters who were acquainted with  
the work and supplanting them with      
younger sisters who were ignorant in the
 care of the sick4  ,in a few words the 

wrongs could be summed up as follows3   
,national hatred and jealousy2  ,the    
rule of the system compelling the       
sisters to report on the other sisters  
to the superior1 which means a great    
many false reports2  ,the employment of 
sisters who had no previous experience1 
and the transferring of those who did   
know about the care of the sick2        
,superiors who were absolutely          
unqualified for hospital work2          
,non-care of sick sisters2  ,ignorance  
and blind obedience2  ,the numberless   
religious practices which took us away  
from the sick1 very often when they     
needed the most careful attention2      
,besides the taking care of the sick1   
the many other obligations which the    
sisters were called upon to             
perform--such as laundry work1 janitor  
work1 kitchen work1 etc4  ,and no one to
 go to for redress in case of wrong4    
,,chapter ,x4    ,,my ,,removal ,,from  
,,st4 ,,vincent',s ,,hospital4   ,on the
 tenth of ,july1 #aiaa1 ,i went to      

,vancouver1 ,washington1 for my annual  
retreat4 ,immediately upon my return to 
,st4 ,vincent's1 ,july #ai1 ,i was      
summoned to the room of the ,provincial 
,superior1 ,mother ,nazareth1 and she   
informed me that ,i had been nominated  
to go to ,cranbrook1 ,b4 ,c41 saying    
that as my health had not been very good
 for some time1 the change would be good
 for me4 ,i had undergone a very serious
 operation some time before this1 from  
which ,i had not fully recovered4 ,the  
nervous strain caused by the troubles   
within the order had not been of any    
physical benefit to me1 owing to the    
weakened condition of my system from the
 operation4 ,so ,i told ,mother         
,nazareth that ,i did not think that    
going up in the mountains where the     
climate was so cold would be very       
beneficial to my health4 ,i also told   
her that ,i did not think that my health
 was the reason for my removal1 but that
 it was on account of reports1 and ,i   
wished to know what some of them were4  

,she refused to tell me1 and ,i told her
 that if she did not care to1 or would  
not1 ,i would go to higher authority1   
the ,superior ,general4  ,talk about    
system1 and the traveling of news6 ,on  
,july #bast1 two days after ,i was      
informed that ,i was to go to           
,cranbrook1 ,i received the following   
letter3      ,house of ,providence1     
,vancouver1 ,wash41 ,july #bj1 #aiaa4   
,sister ,lucretia1     ,st4 ,vincent's  
,hospital1 ,portland1 ,ore4      ,dear  
,sister3  ,i am informed by your        
,provincial ,superior that you refuse to
 accept your nomination to another      
house4  ,please write me to that effect4
  ,awaiting your answer within a        
reasonable time1 ,i am1      ,very      
sincerely yours1      7,seal7 ,,sister  
,,mary ,,julian1     ,superior ,general4
  ,can you see how the sisters work to  
keep ahead of all the other sisters8    
,using1 if necessary1 unfair and unjust 
methods to attain their ends4 ,i had    
told ,mother ,nazareth that ,i would go 

over her head1 and from all evidence she
 must have immediately sent a messenger 
to the ,superior ,general with the      
message that was written me in that     
letter1 which was not true4 ,i had not  
refused to accept the appointment1 but  
had asked the reason for such a change4 
,our rule on ,fraternal ,charity and the
 ,roman ,circular from the ,pope1 says  
to tell the wrongdoer of her faults4 ,so
 ,i had the right to be given the reason
 for my change1 after all the reports ,i
 had received of my very irreligious    
conduct4  ,instead of writing to the    
,superior ,general1 as requested in her 
letter1 ,i went in person4 ,i asked her 
to tell me some of the reports she had  
against me4 ,she informed me that she   
had heard many reports about me1 but    
that she did not have to tell me4 ,i    
told her that if ,i was to correct      
myself of my faults1 ,i should know what
 some of them were4 ,she told me that   
she had heard reports about me          
counseling a young sister to leave the  

community1 when she was in ,missoula1   
,montana1 long before she was ,superior 
,general4 ,this ,i flatly denied1 as ,i 
had not done so1 and ,i asked her to    
name the sister1 but she refused to do  
so4 ,she also informed me that a great  
fault of mine was that ,i would not     
report on the other sisters4 ,i told her
 that this was very true1 and that ,i   
would not report on the other sisters   
unless there was something very wrong to
 report1 as ,i did not think it was     
right4 ,she became very angry after me  
questioning her1 and said1 ,i am the    
authority and you are the subject1 and  
you have nothing to do but to obey your 
superiors4 ,i said1 ,all right1 ,i made 
a vow of obedience1 and ,i will obey2 ,i
 will go where you send me1 and ,i will 
do what ,i am told1 but it will be mine 
to tell the story4  ,on my return to    
,st4 ,vincent's1 ,i went direct to      
,mother ,nazareth and asked her if she  
had any fault to find with my work4 ,she
 replied1 ,no4 ,i asked her if she had  

any fault to find with my character4    
,she replied ,no4  ,i then went to my   
local superior1 ,sister ,alexander1 to  
whom by rule ,i was obliged to go every 
month to give an account of my spiritual
 and material progress or difficulties4 
,it was her duty to tell me if she had  
any fault to find4 ,she had never found 
any fault with me all the time she had  
been my superior1 except that ,i had    
once given some food to an employee     
without her permission4 ,i asked her the
 same questions ,i had asked ,mother    
,nazareth in regard to my work and      
character1 and she answered the same as 
,mother ,nazareth had4 ,i told her that 
no one ever had any faults against me   
before1 why all the reports and faults  
now8 ,to this she made no reply4  ,my   
rule gave me the right to appeal to     
ecclesiastical authority for redress of 
grievances if ,i was not satisfied with 
the decision of my women superiors4 ,so 
,i next went to ,archbishop ,alexander  
,christie4  ,i told him of the wrongs   

which were causing me many heartaches   
and sorrows1 and also the report the    
,superior ,general had told me she had  
heard so many years before4 ,he told me 
that the ,superior ,general had no right
 to handle me on reports she had heard  
before she had been in office1 according
 to ,church or ,canon law4 ,he said that
 ,i had made a vow of obedience and that
 the best thing ,i could do was to obey 
for the present and maybe he could do   
something for me later4  ,i had heard   
from priests about the justice of       
,archbishop ,christie's ,coadjutor1 or  
,vicar ,general1 as he is called1       
,monsignor ,rauw1 so ,i decided to go to
 him and see if he could intercede for  
me1 or at least cause an investigation4 
,he listened very intently and1         
seemingly1 with much interest to my     
story of the injust treatment ,i was    
receiving1 how ,i had spent so many     
years in the service of the community   
and church4 ,in tears and sorrow ,i     
appealed to him to see that the right   

was done1 not that ,i was complaining   
about my appointment to another mission1
 but ,i was complaining about my        
appointment to this particular mission  
on account of the climatic conditions1  
and in the manner in which ,i was being 
sent4 ,there must have been some reason 
for all this--and ,i knew well what it  
was--but ,i could get no one to tell me 
so ,i could defend myself4 ,when ,i had 
finished telling my story to this great 
holy father1 he stood up1 and holding   
himself together with both hands1 said1 
with much force1 ,in religion we have to
 make big sacrifices6  ,sacrifice6 ,i   
was all but sacrificed then1 and to get 
an answer like that from the last one ,i
 could appeal to for right6 ,it is      
impossible to find words to express the 
feeling that came over me4 ,my heart and
 very being became chilled4 ,i shuddered
 at the very thought of religion4 ,in my
 novitiate ,i had been taught that if at
 any time during my community life ,i   
would be in need of fatherly kindness   

and redress1 ,i was free to go in all   
childlike simplicity to authorized      
priests or bishops4 ,this was the first 
time in all my service to the church    
that ,i had asked anything of the       
priestly fathers4 ,it had always been my
 service and sacrificing for them4 ,and 
now1 when it was my turn to look for    
some assistance in my extreme           
oppression--when only a few words from  
any one of them would have caused the   
sun of justice to shine on my life--they
 stood by and did not say a word in my  
behalf4  ,his watchmen are blind3 they  
are all ignorant1 they are all dumb     
dogs1 they cannot bark2 sleeping1 lying 
down1 loving to slumber4 ,yea1 they are 
greedy dogs which can never have enough1
 and they are shepherds that cannot     
understand3 they all look to their own  
way1 every one for his gain1 from his   
quarter4 ,come ye1 say they1 ,i will    
fetch wine1 and we will fill ourselves  
with strong drink2 and tomorrow shall be
 as this day1 and much more abundant4   

7,isaiah1 #ef3aj1ab47  ,in all my       
attempts for redress1 the only word of  
encouragement ,i had received was from  
,archbishop ,christie1 who had said that
 he might be able to do something for me
 later4 ,but1 as for the present1 ,i    
could clearly see that nothing could be 
done1 except for me to reconcile myself 
to my removal and go4  ,remember1 dear  
reader1 that ,i had served eighteen     
years at ,st4 ,vincent's1 and it had    
become as a home to me4 ,not only had   
eighteen years of my service been       
utilized in building this institution1  
but ,i had sold hundreds and hundreds of
 little cards to my friends and patients
 for five cents each1 each card         
representing a brick in the building4   
,more than that1 ,i loved the work and  
had made hundreds of friends from every 
part of ,oregon1 administering to them  
in sickness4 ,but laying all these      
things aside1 ,i wanted to go and have  
it over with4  ,so ,i packed the wreck  
of a trunk that was assigned to me with 

what few belongings ,i had1 stealing in 
a few forbidden books and pictures4 ,in 
all cases of removals of sisters1 the   
superior is supposed to examine the     
trunk1 but for some reason1 unknown to  
me1 the superior did not examine mine1  
so ,i succeeded in keeping a great many 
little articles which otherwise ,i would
 not have4  ,during the last two days1  
,i avoided meeting everyone possible for
 the final adieu1 as the despotic and   
un-,christian manner of my removal was  
too sensibly present to me4 ,the friends
 ,i did meet expressed great sympathy   
for me and often there was bitterness of
 tears from both of us4 ,one of the     
leading physicians of the staff halted  
me near the main office1 and in the     
presence of ,sister ,rita1 told me that 
it was criminal to me after the years of
 service to that institution and at my  
years and poor health4 ,he said that it 
was heartless and most un-,christian    
treatment4 ,this little speech caused me
 to think differently of ,protestants   

than ,i had in the past--that in the end
 ,i would rather go to the ,protestant  
heaven than to ever again meet some of  
these holy fathers and religious saints4
  ,on ,july #bfth1 ,i left for          
,cranbrook in company with ,mother      
,nazareth4 ,on leaving ,st4 ,vincent's1 
,i placed my arm over my eyes so that ,i
 could not see the sisters1 or other    
friends1 or even the building where ,i  
had lived so long4 ,this was the first  
of many long1 sad1 sorrowful days for   
me4  ,we arrived at our destination on  
,july #bhth1 at one o'clock in the      
morning4 ,the institution which was to  
be my new home1 was a small hospital1   
which could accommodate about sixty     
patients4  ,the next morning1 ,mother   
,nazareth and my new superior1 ,sister  
,mary ,vincent1 assigned me to my new   
work4 ,i was to serve in the            
dining-rooms--including the             
priest's--wash dishes1 take care of the 
halls1 the sister's community room and  
the priest's apartment1 and to do the   

work that would be necessary in and     
about the building4 ,then1 to make      
everything more pleasing for me1 they   
told me that in the near future ,i could
 go begging as ,i had done in my younger
 years4 ,to this1 ,i told them that ,i  
would go1 providing that ,i could be    
home every night1 as ,i did not think ,i
 was physically able to be out nights as
 ,i had in years past4  ,this was all   
for the benefit of my health1 and this  
same ,mother ,nazareth1 who was helping 
the superior assign me to my work1 was  
the one that told me the change was for 
that purpose4  ,after years of struggle 
and convent slavery1 endeavoring to make
 myself efficient in nursing1 this the  
reward4 ,if ,i had not been strong and  
robust1 ,i could never have lasted as   
long as ,i had4 ,the average girl in    
this drudgery goes years before she     
reaches the age ,i was at that time4    
,but the years of grind and confinement 
had begun to tell on me1 and the heads  
of the institution--sly old foxes--could

 see it2 so ,i had to go4               
,authority intoxicates1     ,and makes  
mere sots of magistrates2     ,the fumes
 of it invade the brain1     ,and make  
men giddy1 proud and vain2     ,by this 
the fool commands the wise1     ,the    
noble with the base complies1     ,the  
sot assumes the rule of wit1     ,and   
cowards make the brave submit4          
--,butler4     ,,chapter ,,xi4    ,,two 
,,interesting ,,letters ,,from          
,,sisters--,,my ,,letters ,,for         
,,redress ,,to   ,,archbishop           
,,christie4   ,i was now permitted to be
 on mission with my own blood sister1   
,sister ,cassilda4 ,after having been   
estranged and poisoned in mind against  
me by the system for over twenty years1 
she was to be an example for making me a
 good religious4 ,and1 poor girl1 she   
sure enough was a good example of the   
products of the ,roman convent system4  
,she had been on ,indian mission nearly 
all of her sisterhood life4 ,for five   
years1 without ever seeing civilization1

 she was kept at the ,blackfoot ,indian 
,mission1 in ,alta ,territory1 ,b4 ,c4  
,i remember once when she came to       
,vancouver1 ,washington1 for her        
retreat1 the poor1 dear girl looked as  
primitive as the ,american natives she  
had been taking care of4 ,her           
sensibilities were dulled from the long 
practice of mortification and the       
endurance of terrible hardships4 ,she   
did not realize it1 but she was verily  
an object of pity4 ,oh1 how sorry ,i    
felt1 to have my sister there with me1  
and yet no sister to talk to1 owing to  
the moulding and shaping we had         
undergone by the ,roman ,catholic       
system4  ,even though she had never had 
any previous experience in caring for   
the sick1 she was1 at the time ,i went  
to ,cranbrook1 assistant superior of the
 hospital there4 ,and after all the     
years ,i had served in nursing1 ,i was  
under her direction4  ,a short time     
after my arrival at my new mission ,i   
received a letter from my dear friend1  

,sister ,rita1 as follows3       ,dear  
,lucretia3       ,another change4 ,now  
they say ,mere ,general 7,mother        
,general7      intends leaving for your 
place ,thursday the #ajth 7,august      
#ajth74      ,i am not stealing your    
letter out1 as ,i read it to ,mother    
,nazareth1 also to ,sister ,alexander1  
then told them that ,i      wanted to   
see that it got off4       ,you need    
your reputation and ,i would make them  
prove the      lies4 ,you were missioned
 through reports of companions who      
were out of their rule for not warning  
you first4 ,then1      superiors have   
their rule4 ,you have obeyed4 ,now you  
sift the      matter1 though stay in the
 community and make them take good      
care of you4 ,that is only fair and just
 before ,god and man4      ,when they   
make use of religion to cover dirty     
politics it is      time to make them   
face it4 ,you may show this to ,mother  
,general      or anybody else4          
,with love1 from      ,,rita4   ,another

 letter ,i received from ,sister ,mary  
,winifred1 about this time1 will explain
 itself3       ,providence ,academy1    
,vancouver1 ,wash4     ,august #ac1     
#aiaa4      ,dear ,sister ,lucretia3    
,last week ,i spent a few days in       
,portland and it is needless to      say
 that ,i missed you very much1 as do all
 your friends there4       ,from        
conversations at recreation ,i          
understand that your change      was    
made doubly painful by false charges4   
,you have my heartfelt      sympathy in 
this1 for ,i have experienced that      
painful ordeal1      and ,i say ,god    
help those who must go through it4 ,let 
me say to      you what dear ,father    
,schram said to me1 ,be thankful that   
you      are the accused rather than the
 accuser4 ,i would rather be in         
your place than theirs4 ,it is only a   
matter of time2 justice      will assert
 itself in spite of all human power4    
,your sorrow      will be turned into   
joy4 ,be brave1 dear sister1 this will  

all      be righted4       ,there are   
some hard things in religious life4 ,god
 knows why6      ,the words of our dear 
,lord1 ,for which of my favors would you
      stone me1 must come to the mind of
 some religious often during      life4 
,now1 dear sister1 ,i must close4       
,believe me in union of prayer and      
suffering4      ,yours ever1            
,,sister ,m4 ,,winifred4   ,mother      
,general ,julian visited ,cranbrook on  
,august #ac1 #aiaa1 and ,i endeavored to
 have her right matters1 but to no      
avail4 ,so ,i decided to write my       
complaints to ,archbishop ,christie of  
,portland4 ,these letters also explain  
the most important points of the visit  
of ,mother ,general ,julian of ,august  
#acth4      ,st4 ,eugene ,hospital1     
,cranbrook1 ,b4 ,c41 ,august #ag1 #aiaa4
      ,most ,reverend ,a4 ,christie1    
,d4,d41     ,portland1 ,oregon4         
,very ,dear ,bishop3  ,i am now here    
three weeks lacking one day2 needless to
 say that ,i have not been feeling very 

well1 for in the manner ,i had to take  
my dismissal from ,st4 ,vincent's and   
move out to mission1 ,i do not think it 
hardly possible for me to feel extra    
good1 either mentally or physically1    
unless one was made of cast-iron4  ,your
 ,grace1 ,i hate to trouble you2 ,i know
 you must have enough care on your mind 
and heavy responsibilities4             
,nevertheless1 ,i beg you to listen to  
me a little while4 ,i feel it an awful  
strain upon my mind and weight upon my  
heart to have to submit to so much      
downright cruelty and injustice4 ,power 
made use of to take advantage of others4
 ,my removal was prompted through       
ambition and jealousy4 ,i was too       
successful and well liked1 and no means 
could be found to break my influence    
except by taking advantage of my sacred 
vow of obedience to get me out of their 
way4 ,now what is this but making use of
 religion to play dirty politics8 ,this 
change was brought about over my        
provincial's head4 ,our rule says       

reports are to go to the provincial and 
she is to make the change or report for 
such to higher authority4 ,in the visit 
of our ,mother ,general here1 ,august   
#ac1 #aiaa1 ,i told her ,i was not      
satisfied nor at peace in the service of
 ,god about the way ,i had been changed1
 because ,i had to feel too keenly that 
it was as a punishment influenced by    
reports4 ,she then said that she might  
have been influenced and talked to the  
effect that she had all right to make   
any change1 whatever the reasons were4  
,she said that she had reports and that 
she did not need to tell me where they  
came from or what they were4 ,i said    
that if she expected me to correct      
myself for what was reported against me1
 ,i thought ,i should be told4 ,she     
insisted that ,i had been told4 ,i said 
the only thing ,i had been told1 the one
 and only charge you already made       
counseling a young sister to leave the  
community1 which ,i positively denied   
and said that ,i might ask an           

investigation4 ,moreover1 you had this  
against me before you were in office and
 ,i did not believe you could use it    
against me1 even were it true4  ,is it  
not convenient to get into power and    
take advantage of another for all       
reports and remarks ever heard about    
you1 years before they knew you8  ,when 
,i spoke of investigation1 she said that
 she did not say that ,i was not telling
 the truth in denying the charge she    
made4 ,i answered that it was easy to   
say that now1 but the mischief was done2
 that ,i was thrown out of the          
occupation ,i worked so very hard to    
become efficient and useful in1 and that
 ,i did not feel that it should be      
required of me to begin over as if ,i   
was twenty or twenty-five1 neither did  
,i think it was required of me to mould 
myself over according to every new      
superior's individual ways of thinking  
and liking1 nor to run and jump about my
 work like a young soldier on picket    
duty4  ,i don't claim perfection or     

sanctity1 simply doing the best ,i know 
how1 and at the same time trying to make
 the most of myself1 becoming a decent  
human being and ,sister of ,charity4 ,if
 ,i did not appear religious enough to  
please every sister that knows or hears 
of me1 ,i could not help it4 ,if ,i did 
good work and behaved myself in         
accordance with our rules and           
constitution1 ,i thought this was a good
 deal to be taken into account2 and that
 ,i did not think that one should be so 
easily trifled with and annoyed to      
desperation over faults and             
imperfections that we are all1 more or  
less1 subject to1 and for me to be      
treated like this was injurious to my   
mind and health4  ,she 7,mother         
,general7 said this was a nice place for
 me1 and ,i did not need to work if ,i  
did not feel well1 and that ,i could do 
the same work ,i had done before if ,i  
wanted to do it and resign myself4      
,this is the kind of redress we have1   
,your ,grace4 ,they can even dispense   

the subject from any or all activity    
when it could mean torment to some one  
in their black book4  ,i told her ,i    
wanted to find out if the church had    
nothing to say concerning these matters1
 and also the way ,i had been removed   
from office1 without one bit of         
consideration1 either for my years of   
service in the community1 which ,i      
thought was church service1 or my       
ability or experience4 ,it made no      
difference in the least how ,i felt1 or 
what it had cost me to fit myself for my
 work4 ,all that seemed required on     
their part was to show me and give me to
 understand that ,i was not needed or   
wanted any longer4  ,dismissal in a     
heartless manner from the work in which 
,i have suffered all sorts of           
inconveniences1 wretched trials due to  
narrowness1 which ,i could enumerate to 
you1 but would be too lengthy to write4 
,god alone knows the circumstances under
 which ,i had to learn my lessons to fit
 myself for the work ,i did and managed4

 ,i had to be orderly1 diet-cook1       
dish-washer1 scrub-woman1 painter1      
seamstress1 account-keeper1             
collector--also take names and history  
of the patients1 nurse and overseeing   
other nurses' work--these and other     
things have been my daily round of      
duties4  ,nice time of the day and years
 of my life for my superiors to say to  
my face that they have no fault to find 
with my work and none of character1 and 
at the same time to do what they have   
done in the name of good under cover of 
religion1 claiming all right because    
authority is theirs4 ,must unfit and    
unscrupulous ones be left to have their 
own way entirely8 ,has justice no weight
 or meaning in the government of church 
organizations8  ,does it seem fair to   
take one away from a work that she knows
 well and gave satisfaction1 without    
giving one a single reason1 and put     
beginners in her place and send the     
experienced one where beginners ought to
 start from8 ,if ,i were even needed    

here6 ,it really seems as if pleasure   
had to be taken in seeing how far one   
could be driven4 ,it is maddening for   
the victim who has to stand it4 ,i could
 not have the good will ,i ought to     
have1 these things embitter one and in  
conscience ,i cannot hold myself        
accountable before ,god4 ,it is         
discouraging and checks the better      
feelings1 desires and efforts in doing  
their best1 and in time the result will 
be callousness1 indifference and        
unfitness for any good whatever4 ,this  
way of doing is applying the system of  
authority in the old accustomed way when
 they want to make a human machine of   
one--is to deprive them of all chances  
of interest in life1 the final result is
 bound to be physical and mental        
break-down or nervous wreck--as ,i have 
seen it too many times1 unfortunately4  
,going through this process a number of 
times hurries our sisters to some       
cemetery or asylum4  ,your ,grace1 ,i   
feel to ask an investigation unless ,i  

can be given assurance that ,i shall be 
reinstated in my former work and have my
 name restored4  ,our superiors claim   
that even an ,archbishop has nothing to 
say in these matters in an order        
governed by a ,mother ,general4 ,that   
would be news to me4 ,i thought he was  
our first ecclesiastical head of church 
affairs in his domain4 ,i know in       
,canada the ,mother ,general is not over
 ,archbishop ,bruchasie4 ,there might be
 a big difference in the ,states1       
probably in the ,west4  ,your ,grace1 ,i
 am sorry and humiliated to have to     
trouble you in this unpleasant manner   
about so much awful disagreeableness1   
but ,i could not endure it without doing
 my utmost to get such unfairness       
righted4 ,i cannot tell you in words how
 much ,i appreciate knowing you as ,i   
do1 and that ,i feel perfectly at home  
in addressing myself to you during this 
time of difficulties4 ,i hope and pray  
that your health remains good1 ,your    
,grace4  ,awaiting an answer1 with much 

esteem and very best regards1           
,yours sincerely and respectfully1      
,,sister ,,lucretia1     ,s4 ,c4 ,s4 ,p4
  ,letter ,no4 #b3       ,st4 ,eugene   
,hospital1     ,cranbrook1 ,b4 ,c41     
,august #bh1 #aiaa4      ,very dear     
,archbishop ,christie3       ,your      
,grace1 the large letter enclosed in    
this envelope1 dated      ,august #agth1
 ,i intended to send at the time1 and   
after ,i had      written it1 ,i thought
 it was better for me to come to        
,portland      and see you1 as some     
matters in it might require further     
explanation than ,i could express in    
writing1 because ,i wanted      you to  
know the true state of things1 and for  
fear that ,i might      induce you to do
 anything rash in regard to me1 ,i      
thought it      better to bring the     
letter myself4       ,when ,mother      
,general was here on ,august #ac1 #aiaa1
 ,i told her      that ,i might ask an  
investigation4 ,she said it was alright1
      that ,i could do so if ,i wanted  

to4 ,i supposed that this      included 
my permission to come and see you when  
,i decided to do      so--if ,i needed  
permission from the lesser authority to 
speak      to the higher4 ,i had told   
,mother ,nazareth that ,i wanted to go  
to ,portland to see my higher superior  
on a matter of      conscience4         
,august #bfth1 last ,saturday1 ,i asked 
her for her pass or      transportation 
to ,portland4 ,she said her pass was in 
,portland      and that she would send  
for it and that it would be here by     
,wednesday4 ,instead of that she        
communicated with our ,mother           
,general1 this morning she told me so1  
and that neither ,mother      ,general  
nor she could give me permission or     
money to go to      ,portland4 ,i was   
frank with ,mother ,nazareth when she   
spoke of      money2 ,i said ,i could   
wait a few days for the pass4 ,i cannot 
understand why this deception4 ,i do not
 feel good over it1      after telling  
her that ,i had ,mother ,general's      

consent for what      ,i was to do4 ,our
 people are afraid to make one move     
without      ,canada4 ,i do not suppose 
from this transaction that ,mother      
,nazareth gave ,mother ,general an      
agreeable account of me since ,i      am
 here4  ,illustration3 ,most ,reverend  
,alexander ,christie1 ,d4,d41           
,archbishop of ,portland1 ,oregon4      
,i am having a much begrudged vacation4 
,i am not any profit to      the        
community just now1 having been sick and
 unable to work for      a few weeks4   
,how could ,i be otherwise1 or anyone   
else with a      grain of sense or      
feeling1 ,i cannot do things slipshod or
 by      halves4 ,outside of my trip    
,east1 ,i cannot recollect of ever      
having had more than perhaps a couple of
 days cessation from      hard work in  
all my thirty years of community        
life--without      speaking of vacation1
 which ,i never dared to ask for1       
feeling      sure of punishment of some 
sort to follow if ,i did4       ,mother 

,nazareth quoted ,mother ,general as    
saying to me1 ,there      was work here 
if ,i wanted to do it1 and she added1   
,what was      good enough for the      
sisters here was good enough for me4 ,i 
told her ,yes1 what was good enough for 
the sisters here was      good enough   
for me1 and it was not beneath me at all
 to do what      the sisters here did1  
but it was out of the question and ,i do
      not wish to discuss it1 as it is  
useless4       ,you see they have       
determined together--our people having  
yielded to ,canadian todiers--to show me
 that ,i am to take in      silence as  
much1 or as little1 as it is theirs to  
demand4 ,it      belongs absolutely to  
them to subdue me in whatever way they  
please1 to make me see and accept as    
right the one and only way      they see
 it1 and taking upon themselves to      
refuse me the right      of speaking to 
our own archbishop4 ,this is one of the 
reasons      why ,i am out of ,portland4
 ,they are uneasy as what ,i may say to 

you4 ,they cannot see it in any other   
light than that ,i am      telling wrong
 things and having a bad influence1     
hence it is      better for me to be    
where there will be no such occasion4   
,what      a shame to have to talk of   
such narrow1 childish treatment and     
small things1 but1 truths just the same 
which can make one's      life very hard
 to live4       ,i also enclose a short 
letter from ,mother ,wilfrid1 one of our
      ,western sisters ,general         
,assistant ,councilor4 ,letter dated    
,february #aa1 #aiaj1 which is only a   
little over a year ago now4      ,i     
found it amongst my things after my     
letter dated ,august #ag1      #aiaa1   
was written4 ,i cannot make use of it4  
,it will show that ,i      am not       
imagining things so terribly in mind1   
and it is positive      proof that ,i am
 handled on reports1 the nature of which
 and the      numbers of years in       
gathering ,i am not permitted to know4  
,they      have the advantage of me by  

my vow of obedience4 ,your ,grace1 ,i   
leave everything to your wisdom and     
discretion4 ,i do not want      you to  
do anything hasty or by persuasion1     
which might be      regrettable1 though 
,i do think they need to be taught the  
lesson that they are not ,god ,almighty1
 even though power be      entrusted    
them4 ,i do not say on the minute--but  
in your own      good time and judgment4
 ,mother ,nazareth is terribly          
frightened1      and says ,i will regret
 going to you4       ,our people's talk 
is that ,archbishop ,bruchasie is the   
only      ecclesiastical head above our 
superiors4 ,it is that with them1       
or pine away out of life seems to be the
 only alternative      permissible4 ,i  
could address myself to him and then be 
ordered      to go and sit in some dark 
corner in ,montreal the remainder of    
my days1 like poor ,sister ,paul of the 
,sacred ,heart is doing1      and like  
sickly ,sister ,gabriel was told that   
the sheriff would      be called to take

 her to ,montreal if she would not go by
 their      orders4       ,your ,grace1 
it is a comfort and a miracle to me to  
be able to      tell these things to    
you1 because ,i know that you can have  
much      good come out of all it now1  
and more for the future sisters of      
the country4 ,i am sorry to have to     
bother you4       ,mother ,general did  
remark to me here when ,i told her that 
,i did      not feel right about the way
 this had been done to me1 that it      
might not be for long4 ,your ,grace1 ,i 
will pray every day that      ,god will 
bless you with good health and success1 
and that you      will be with us many  
years to come4      ,awaiting an answer1
 ,i remain1      ,yours devotedly and   
respectfully1      ,,sister ,,lucretia1 
,s4 ,c4 ,s4 ,p4   ,these three letters  
7one from ,mother ,wilfrid to me7 were  
enclosed in one envelope and sent to    
,archbishop ,christie by registered     
mail4     ,,chapter ,,xii    ,,my       
,,emancipation4   ,the many1 long1      

dreary days of suspense that followed   
awaiting a reply from ,archbishop       
,christie were surely days of           
indescribable penance4 ,no one for a    
confident but myself1 and my thoughts so
 pent up within me that ,i had to       
contrive some means of relief4 ,my heart
 was crushed and broken4 ,the           
suppression of my feelings and the      
burning sensation of the physical pain  
,i had to endure in the awful conflict  
of soul and body were almost unbearable4
 ,i took advantage of the only remedy   
within this ,roman house of correction4 
,i would go to the garret1 which was the
 nurses' dormitory1 and holding my garb 
up so that ,i could move freely1 ,i     
would pace the floor1 hundreds of times1
 exhausting1 so to speak1 the surplus   
energy caused by the unrighteous        
indignation4 ,and1 at the same time1    
praying in my simple way to the saints  
for light as to the next step to take4  
,during the late hours of the sleepless 
nights1 with the heavy burden of my     

troubles on my mind1 ,i would walk the  
floor of my little room 7about ten feet 
square7 like some caged animal pacing   
his den in quest of liberty4  ,at the   
holiday season ,i wrote a short letter  
to ,archbishop ,christie1 wishing him   
the greetings of the season1 to which ,i
 received the following reply3          
,portland1 ,oregon1 ,january #b1 #aiab4 
,dear ,sister3       ,i thank you       
sincerely for your kind ,xmas           
remembrance4       ,my ,xmas was an     
exceedingly busy one4 ,but it brought me
 great      consolation4 ,the large     
number of men and women who received    
holy communion was most edifying4       
,asking ,god to grant you a      blessed
 ,new ,year1 ,i am1      ,sincerely in  
,xto1      ,x ,a4 ,,christie4   ,it had 
been over four months since ,i had      
written my letters for redress to him1  
and he never once even acknowledged     
receipt of them1 and in this letter1 as 
you can see1 he never once mentioned    
anything about them4  ,in my depressing 

perplexities1 ,i had begun to think that
 there was no such thing as redress in  
the order1 and that the clause in my    
book of rule1 the right to apply to high
 ecclesiastical authority1 was a blind  
and a farce1 as was the teaching of     
fatherly kindness4  ,as my eyes opened  
,i realized that ,i might as well try to
 tear down the mighty stone walls of the
 ,rocky ,mountains1 which ,i could      
behold daily1 as to move the ,roman     
,catholic religious machine to interest 
itself in righting wrongs for a sister  
in the community4 ,there was nothing for
 me to do but live on and take whatever 
wrongs the system was pleased to mete   
out to me to the end of my days1 or to  
play the hypocrite for a few years1     
waiting for something better1 if those  
in authority saw fit to give me a       
change4  ,i should have had the same    
privilege of receiving and sending mail 
in ,canada as other ,american citizens  
are accorded1 but not so4 ,the system1  
as it always does1 demanded and         

delegated to itself the right to        
scrutinize all mail sent or received by 
its subjects4 ,so1 in order that ,i     
might send and receive letters dealing  
with subjects other than the ,roman     
,catholic religion and convent1 ,i had  
to gain the confidence of a secular and 
receive my mail outside the convent4  ,i
 had written to a friend in ,spokane1   
,washington1 ,mrs4 ,a4 ,j4 ,kearney1 who
 was a graduated nurse from ,st4        
,vincent's ,hospital1 telling her of my 
trouble and that ,i was contemplating   
leaving the order1 as ,i was at last    
satisfied in my own mind that this was  
the only step to take4 ,i received an   
encouraging reply and wrote again1      
planning further4  ,in the meantime1 ,i 
continued my novenas to the ,blessed    
,virgin ,mary1 ,st4 ,anthony and ,st4   
,joseph1 in heart-breaking sorrow and   
tears--praying for enlightenment1 as ,i 
had been doing for weeks and months4 ,in
 all earnestness and sincerity ,i was   
bowing1 scraping1 kneeling1 pleading to 

the images1 the statues and the fourteen
 stations of the cross4  ,at last1 after
 so long a time1 it came to me as if a  
thunderbolt had come from ,heaven1 that 
these statues and images and relics     
could do me no good4 ,they were all clay
 and material4 ,what ,i needed was      
something divine1 but after living what 
,i had lived1 ,i was now ready to       
believe in nothing4 ,i thought that if  
,god was a just ,god1 ,he could not and 
would not permit such oppression and    
cruelties and injustices to be          
perpetrated in the name of ,christian   
religion and in ,his name4 ,i decided   
that if there was a ,god who was the    
,creator of heaven and earth and all    
things therein1 ,he would surely hear me
 if ,i would pour out my heart to ,him4 
,so ,i fell upon my knees and prayed as 
,i had never prayed before--not to ,st4 
,anthony1 not to ,st4 ,joseph1 not to   
,st4 ,vincent de ,paul1 no1 not even to 
the ,blessed ,virgin ,mary or any other 
saint1 but to ,god ,almighty1 asking    

,him to show me the light and right2    
that if what ,i am living is right1 give
 me strength and courage to live it and 
endure it to the end1 and ,i will try to
 believe it4 ,but1 ,o1 ,god6 if it is   
not right1 show me the right that ,i may
 do ,thy will2 be ,thou my helper now   
and forever1 and ,i left my future in   
,his hands1 continuing to ask ,his help 
and guidance each day4  ,i had been     
suffering for several months from eye   
trouble1 caused by the excessive cold   
temperature1 it being such a decided    
change from what ,i had been accustomed 
to for so many years4 ,i was being      
treated by the government physician1 but
 ,i used the trouble as a pretext to get
 permission from ,mother ,nazareth1 who 
was in ,portland1 to go to ,spokane to  
obtain the services of a specialist4    
,the real reason for which ,i wished to 
go to ,spokane was to see ,mrs4 ,kearney
 and make the final arrangements for my 
leaving the community4  ,about ,march   
#aj1 #aiab1 ,i went to ,spokane4 ,during

 my three weeks there ,i stopped at the 
,sacred ,heart ,hospital4 ,mrs4 ,kearney
 was friendly to the sisters of the     
hospital1 so ,i had her accompany me to 
the office of ,dr4 ,hopkins1 who was    
treating me4 ,in that manner1 ,mrs4     
,kearney and ,i had ample time to talk  
and perfect the plans for my            
emancipation from the everlasting       
demands of ,rome4  ,when the time came1 
,i could not reconcile myself fully to  
the thought of leaving4 ,my childhood   
and novitiate teaching of the terrible  
sins of the outside world would come to 
my mind1 and ,i would then think that ,i
 could never leave the convent4 ,the    
final test came two days before ,i left 
,spokane for my return trip to          
,cranbrook4 ,i concluded that ,i could  
not get worse treatment in the world    
than ,i had received in the community2  
that ,i would not have to work any      
harder in the world than ,i had for     
nearly thirty-one years for the ,roman  
,catholic system2 that ,i would not have

 to live a more abasing or humiliating  
life in the world than ,i had been      
subjected to1 by serving the meanest    
despotism of government2 and ,i realized
 that death was preferable and a        
thousand times more honorable than to   
remain living in this sort of injustice4
 ,i loved the name ,sister of ,charity1 
but ,i knew ,i could no longer be a real
 ,sister of ,charity under the cruel1   
oppressive1 authoritative guidance ,i   
had endured for so many years4 ,i knew  
that ,i could be a better ,sister of    
,charity in the world than ,i could     
under the dictation of the ,pope or his 
representatives4  ,on ,april #b;d1 ,i   
returned to ,cranbrook to get my few    
belongings and to spend a few days with 
my sister before making the change4 ,my 
heart was so filled with what ,i had    
planned1 that ,i could not refrain from 
telling her almost as soon as ,i arrived
 from ,spokane4 ,when ,i told her of my 
decision to leave the order1 neither of 
us could restrain our feelings and it   

was a day of tears and sorrow4 ,we could
 neither eat nor talk4 ,so in the       
evening ,i told her that ,i had intended
 to spend several days with her before  
going1 but as it would do neither of us 
any particular good1 only causing grief1
 sorrow1 and in the end probably nervous
 prostration1 ,i had decided to leave on
 the next train1 which was on the       
following afternoon4  ,the next morning 
,i packed my trunk1 then called my      
sister to my room and asked her to read 
two letters which ,i had written while  
in ,spokane1 excepting for the date1 one
 to ,archbishop ,christie and one to    
,mother ,nazareth4 ,i told her that the 
authorities and sisters of the order    
would come to her with all kinds of     
reports in regard to my leaving1 and    
that ,i wanted her to read the letters  
so she would know for herself my reasons
 for leaving4 ,she read them and then   
said1 ,you will regret this4 ,i simply  
replied1 ,i cannot have more regrets    
than ,i have here4  ,i had my trunk     

taken to the railroad station1 and after
 lunch1 in company of my sister1 ,i went
 to the post office where ,i mailed the 
two letters1 sending them by registered 
mail4 ,then we went to the station and  
in a very few minutes the train arrived 
that was to take me from a darkness to  
light and liberty that ,i had no        
conception of at that time4  ,at #b3ae  
,i boarded the train and left my poor1  
deluded sister standing there alone1    
until the train started1 and then       
watched her walk slowly toward the      
hospital1 until ,i was carried from her 
view4  ,during this last visit to       
,cranbrook1 my sister was in authority  
at the hospital1 the sister superior1   
,sister ,mary ,vincent1 being away on   
retreat4 ,this ,i did not know until ,i 
arrived from ,spokane1 but it would have
 been just the same if the superior     
would have been there1 as ,i had made up
 my mind to leave4  ,my last letter     
written to ,archbishop ,christie1 as    
,sister ,lucretia1 was as follows3      

,cranbrook1 ,b4 ,c4     ,st4 ,eugene    
,hospital1 ,april #c1 #aiab4      ,most 
,reverend ,a4 ,christie1 ,d4,d41        
,portland1 ,oregon4      ,very ,dear    
,bishop3       ,i have now had my       
situation before my eyes and present to 
my      mind the past eight months4 ,i  
cannot reconcile myself to live         
this punishment existence out1 as ,i    
know others of my      companions are   
doing in exiled corners of this earth1  
like      five-year-old children who    
dare to speak when they should have     
been only seen4 ,really1 this sort of   
treatment is equal to      locking a    
grown woman advanced in years up in a   
closet as a      child for misbehavior4 
,the only difference the parent would   
tell the child what its punishment was  
for1 while the woman in      my case is 
not to be given a reason1 except one    
false report by      my higher superior1
 which she heard and held against me    
years      before she knew me or was in 
authority1 to knock me as she did       

shortly after she was in office4        
,the mission ,i was sent to was alright 
as far as mission goes1      but ,i will
 never believe that it was alright to   
me1 under the      circumstances4 ,if   
this had to be done1 the blow might just
 as      well have been applied with a  
little less cruelty4 ,of all the        
houses our very prosperous order owns   
and controls1 ,i had to go      at my   
years of life to this place enclosed by 
snowy mountains1      the weather       
temperature being twenty to forty       
degrees below      zero about one-half  
the year4 ,having always lived in a warm
      climate and not feeling well1 ,i  
was unable to resist the cold4      ,it 
caused me systemic disturbance and the  
consequence was eye      trouble4 ,the  
government doctor of the place said the 
cold did      it4       ,i had to miss  
,sunday mass from the first of ,november
 to the      first ,sunday in ,march4 ,i
 had to sit with a blanket around me    
near a radiator most of the winter and a

 comforter over the      window to keep 
the cold out4 ,splendid remedy to get   
one over      wretched loneliness and   
sorrow--to make one feel religious and  
grateful for having worked and          
sacrificed ones self nearly to      the 
end of ones life and then hear from     
those over you1 now      you can work if
 you want to1 and a sister stays where  
she is      sent1 even if she dies1 and 
more bold talk of that kind4       ,i am
 not tired of being a ,sister of        
,charity1 but ,i am more than      tired
 living it under the conditions that we 
have to live it4 ,i      will never be  
anything else at heart than a ,sister of
 ,charity2      ,i was that from the age
 of fifteen1 and ,i will be that to my  
dying day4 ,it takes nothing short of a 
trained hypocrite to get      along in  
here4 ,i do not think myself so good or 
of such      excellent worth--,i lay no 
claim above being an ordinary person1   
but if ,i do not have the spirit of a   
good religious and ,sister      of      

,charity1 ,i am sure not so many of     
those ,i have lived with      have it1  
and ,i would have to be punished to     
death1 and then ,i      could not in my 
conscience copy the leading or guiding  
spirits      ,i lived with knowing all  
,i do from daily practical life and     
experience for years4 ,if what was done 
to me in this change is      the good   
spirit1 then ,i have not the least idea 
what good or      evil spirits mean4    
,one thing ,i know it did for me2 ,i    
have a      dreadful horror of a        
repetition of anything of the kind and  
want to remove myself from its          
possibility4 ,i was not only            
deprived of every right1 but of the     
least share of interest in      any one 
thing in the community4       ,now you  
know this is maddening and most cruel   
and      disheartening4 ,this usage     
kills the body and all ones             
personalities and fitness for anything4 
,they have done to me      in action    
what others have been told boldly1 in so

 many words1      when you are not      
wanted1 get out of the way4 ,after it is
 plain      to see one is about to the  
end of doing the very hardest work1     
the meaning is1 hurry up and die or get 
out of the order4 ,it      has all it   
wants of you and is not going to need   
you or have      any further regard for 
you4       ,i have made up my mind to   
leave and do what ,i can to get a new   
lease on a home of some sort1 because   
this means neither home1                
occupation1 nor pastime to me4       ,i 
am asking the community two thousand    
dollars4 ,that would be      for my     
clothing and towards getting myself     
situated for my      support4 ,i cannot 
expect anyone to take me in on          
absolutely      nothing at my years4 ,i 
am not able to work like a beginner1 but
      with that amount and with what ,i 
can do1 ,i will arrange to get          
along the best ,i can4       ,i have    
been the means through my economy and   
ingenuity1 of much      more than that  

to the community1 without the regular   
earnings      of my services4 ,in       
,canada1 ,i was told that our community 
is      paying twenty dollars a month to
 some sisters that left1 and      have  
been doing that for years4 ,my request  
does not come to as      much1          
considering4       ,i wish to get       
everything settled quietly4 ,i dislike  
any      publicity about it whatever4   
,as soon as ,i can get it ,i intend     
to leave the country4       ,i have     
asked dispensation1 not that ,i intend  
to break any of      ,god's             
commandments4 ,i cannot tell you how    
much ,i am pained to      have to leave 
you4 ,i have shed many a tear since ,i  
left ,st4      ,vincent's1 and before ,i
 could decide to write this letter4 ,if 
,i      am to be exiled from friends1   
that would be only additional           
sorrow1 etc4 ,or1 even if ,i were       
stationed where you are and      had to 
feel the uneasiness of some punishment  
coming upon me      for speaking to my  

higher superiors1 that would not add    
very      much to making things         
agreeable4 ,i appreciate your very great
      and fatherly kindness to me1 and  
,i will always remember you as      a   
very dear friend4       ,begging a      
remembrance in your prayers1      ,most 
sincerely1      ,,sister ,,lucretia4    
,p4 ,s4--,i leave here this afternoon at
 #b p4m4 ,my address until      things  
are settled is #jgjg ,toledo ,st41      
,spokane1 ,wash4  ,my letter to ,mother 
,nazareth was as follows3       ,st4    
,eugene ,hospital1     ,cranbrook1 ,b4  
,c41 ,april #c1 #aiab4      ,mother ,m4 
,nazareth1     ,portland1 ,oregon4      
,dear ,mother3       ,i have decided to 
leave the community4 ,will you please   
see      about obtaining the            
dispensation of my vows4 ,i have written
 to      ,his ,grace ,archbishop        
,christie4       ,if authority is all   
that is necessary to constitute right1  
,i      think ,i can continue to save my
 soul better elsewhere1 as that      was

 what ,i took these obligations upon    
myself for4 ,i am not      tired of     
being a ,sister of ,charity1 but ,i am  
more than tired of      living it the   
way we have to do4 ,i did not know until
 last      summer that the spirit of a  
good religious and ,sister of           
,charity meant to be the victim of evil 
reports1 and that      reports were for 
the satisfaction of the feelings of     
those in      authority4 ,i lay no claim
 to high perfection1 but ,i cannot see  
virtue or religion in being taken       
advantage of as ,i was4 ,i      have    
always tried to do my best1 but at last 
,i see plainly that      it is          
impossible to do enough or to sacrifice 
enough4 ,the      extreme cold has      
caused me systemic disturbance and the  
result      is eye trouble4 ,the doctor 
said it was the cold that did it4       
,well1 ,i do not want to refer to too   
much useless talk4 ,i have      made    
arrangements with a friend of mine for a
 home4 ,but as ,i      cannot expect    

anyone to take me in on absolutely      
nothing at my      years1 not being able
 to work any more like ,i did           
twenty-five      years ago1 ,i must have
 some little means1 and ,i ask two      
thousand dollars which would be for my  
clothing and towards my      support4   
,with that amount and with what little  
,i can do1 ,i will      have to manage  
somehow4       ,i wish to have things   
settled quietly1 if possible1 as ,i do  
not      care to have publicity about   
this affair any more than the           
community ,i am leaving4 ,i must have   
some means to go out on or      ,i would
 not ask anything4 ,as soon as ,i can   
get this little sum      requested1 ,i  
will leave the country4       ,begging a
 remembrance in your prayers1 and those 
of the      community and wishing the   
community and every one of the          
sisters ,god's blessing1      ,very     
sincerely and respectfully1             
,,sister ,,lucretia1     ,s4 ,c4 ,s4 ,p4
       ,p4 ,s4--,i leave here at two    

p4m4 ,my address1 until ,i get away     
will be #jgjg ,toledo ,st41 ,spokane1   
,wash4 ,if ,i can get the      business 
part settled as soon as possible1 ,i can
 move on4 ,this      same address will  
forward my dispensation whenever it can 
be      sent to same4      ,humbly      
yours1 ,sr4 ,l4     ,,chapter ,,xiii4   
,i ,,quit ,,the ,,roman ,,catholic      
,,church4   ,after ,i had signed and    
sent these two letters1 copied in the   
preceding chapter1 to the agents of the 
ecclesiastical system1 ,i thought that  
,i had declared the independence of my  
personal liberty and freedom4 ,i had not
 the least intention of leaving the     
,church of ,rome1 as ,i still believed  
that it was the only true church1       
outside of which there was no salvation4
 ,but before many weeks had passed1     
conditions so shaped themselves1 through
 the persecutions of ,rome's            
representatives1 that ,i decided that   
the liberty and freedom ,i hoped to have
 gained by leaving the convent1 was not 

to be found even in the church4  ,i     
arrived in ,spokane at nine o'clock on  
the evening of ,april #c1 #aiab1 and    
went direct to the home of ,mrs4        
,kearney4 ,she received me very         
cordially and we had a long talk before 
retiring4 ,this first night in the world
 was a long1 sleepless one for me4      
,everything seemed reversed1 so to      
speak1 and my heart was heavy from the  
terrible ordeal ,i had endured for the  
last two days4  ,the following morning1 
,april #dth1 ,i discarded the burdensome
 garb1 that great load of black serge1  
and donned a large-flowered kimona1 the 
only other clothes ,i had1 and this was 
given me4 ,this was the first day since 
,july #cjth1 #ahha1 that ,i had attired 
myself in any other than the garb of the
 ,sisters of ,charity of the ,roman     
,catholic system--nearly thirty-one     
years4 ,my hair1 which was about long   
enough to hang in my eyes1 ,i tied back 
with a pretty little red ribbon1 which  
had been on a candy box4  ,on ,monday1  

,april #hth1 ,sister ,matilda of ,st4   
,vincent's telephoned to me1 saying that
 she was at the ,sacred ,heart ,hospital
 with ,mother ,nazareth and asked me to 
come there to see them4 ,when they could
 not prevail upon me to do so1 they     
condescended to come to ,mrs4 ,kearney's
 to see me4  ,their visit lasted about  
three hours4 ,in tears and1 seemingly1  
great sorrow at my leaving the          
community1 they tried to get me to      
return to ,cranbrook1 saying that none  
of the sisters except the superior and  
my own sister knew anything about my    
leaving the order4 ,our rule says that  
if a sister leaves the community of her 
own free will1 she cannot return without
 dispensation4 ,so ,i told ,mother      
,nazareth that ,i could not go back1 as 
it was against the rule4 ,she then      
handed me a letter from ,archbishop     
,christie and said that that was my     
dispensation to return4 ,i read as      
follows3       ,portland1 ,oregon1      
,april #g1 #aiab4      ,dear ,sister3   

,the contents of your letter was a great
 shock to me4 ,i never      thought you 
would give way to the temptation to     
leave your      order4 ,i have requested
 ,mother ,n4 7,nazareth7 to go and see  
you4       ,you did not become a sister 
in order to be appreciated and          
praised for the talents which ,god has  
given you4 ,you entered      religion to
 do ,god's work and to save your soul4  
,now1 sister1 return to your convent4   
,do not allow the evil one      to      
induce you to leave it4 ,do as ,mother  
,n4 directs to do4       ,asking ,god to
 direct and bless you1 ,i am1           
,sincerely in ,xto1      ,x ,a4         
,,christie4   ,i flatly refused to do as
 ,archbishop ,christie requested4       
,mother ,nazareth then offered me my    
choice of the ,sacred ,heart ,hospital  
in ,spokane1 or to return to ,st4       
,vincent's ,hospital in ,portland4 ,when
 ,i refused to go to any house as a     
sister1 she offered me my choice of any 
of the houses of the order1 as a home1  

or boarder1 as long as ,i lived4 ,i had 
seen too many poor1 old sisters1 who had
 received a home such as they were      
offering me1 and knew too well what it  
meant--hurry up and get off the face of 
the earth--and so ,i refused this1      
seemingly1 very lucrative offer4  ,after
 many more entreaties and the shedding  
of many tears1 ,i finally said to these 
two holy scheming-spirits of the ,roman 
,catholic system1 ,i am out1 and ,i am  
out to stay4 ,if you want someone back1 
go and take ,sister ,zita back or some  
of the other sisters who are sitting in 
the four corners of the community-world 
doing penance4 7,sister ,zita was a poor
 sister who had left the community for  
about the same reasons ,i had left1     
after serving the church for thirty     
years4 ,she had begged the system to    
take her back1 but they absolutely      
refused to do so4 ,sister ,zita told me 
this herself1 together with some of the 
terrible wrongs that had been           
perpetrated upon her47  ,when they were 

convinced that ,i could not be persuaded
 to return1 they then wanted my garb1   
saying that it did not belong to me4 ,i 
said that ,i had worn it long enough1   
and that ,i thought ,i was entitled to  
keep it4 ,mother ,nazareth then said1   
,the community might ,,demand it4 ,i    
answered1 ,,demand6 ,that is the word   
that has put me where ,i am1 ,,demand4  
,you ,,demand6 7,this conversation led  
to the naming of my book47  ,at last    
they were beaten and did not know what  
course to pursue4 ,finally1 ,mother     
,nazareth said1 ,what will we tell      
,archbishop ,christie8 ,i said1 ,tell   
him the truth2 tell him what has taken  
place in this room1 and with that they  
left4  ,on ,april #ith1 ,father ,carti1 
a ,jesuit priest from the ,gonzaga      
,college1 came to see me4  ,he had been 
sent to me by the community in regard to
 the amount that ,i had asked in the    
last letter ,i had written them4 ,he    
told me that the community could not    
give the two thousand dollars1 as other 

sisters would leave and want the same1  
but that they might give me one thousand
 dollars4  ,he then asked me to return  
to the convent1 saying that ,i did not  
have dispensation1 and that my being out
 like this could not be so1 and that ,i 
was not out in the world4 ,i looked     
around to assure myself that ,i was     
really out1 and said1 ,well1 ,i am out1 
and ,i am out to stay4 ,he tried to     
convince me that ,i was in honor bound  
to go to some religious house till ,i   
would be released from my vows by the   
church1 naming several ,roman ,catholic 
institutions1 lastly1 the ,house of the 
,good ,shepherd4 ,i looked at him in    
scorn and repeated1 ,the ,house of the  
,good ,shepherd8 as the sisters of the  
order of ,sisters of ,charity always had
 a horror for the very name ,house of   
the ,good ,shepherd4 ,when he saw how ,i
 felt over this1 he very quickly offered
 me a home at the ,gonzaga ,college1    
although that is a ,jesuit institution  
and1 as a general rule1 women are not   

allowed there4 ,when all his efforts had
 failed1 he said1 in a cunning manner1  
that as ,i had trouble in the community1
 so ,i would now have trouble in the    
world4  ,i did not realize the          
significance of this statement at that  
time--,i think ,rome's representative   
had slipped a little--but in the few    
years to follow ,i have surely          
understood the full meaning of it4 ,that
 is a very true ,jesuitical teaching of 
the ,roman ,catholic ,system--,rome rule
 or ruin4  ,i told this holy father that
 the community had sent him to see me on
 business1 and that ,i did not need his 
exhortation4 ,the business was soon     
over1 ,i refusing all his offers of     
every nature1 and he retired4  ,on      
,thursday1 ,april #aath1 ,sister ,rita  
visited me4 ,we had as pleasant a time  
as could be expected under the          
circumstances4 ,she informed me as to   
the scandalous manner ,mother ,nazareth 
and ,sister ,matilda had found me       
dressed when they visited me--with a    

flowered kimona and a red ribbon around 
my hair4 ,she said that they had told   
,archbishop ,christie about it4 ,she    
also told me that the sisters at ,st4   
,vincent's were praying and had forty   
candles burning for my return4  ,i read 
her a copy of my letter for redress to  
,archbishop ,christie1 which ,i had     
mailed ,august #bh1 #aiaa4 ,she was much
 surprised that he had not answered1 and
 could not hold him free from blame for 
the awful wrongs1 as he had the         
authority to right them if he cared to4 
,she endeavored to get my garb1 saying  
that ,i had no further use for it1 but  
,i was continually on my guard1 knowing 
that even my dear1 good friend and      
former chum1 ,sister ,rita1 could not go
 beyond the ,roman dictation4  ,the     
first ,sunday after ,i had left the     
convent was ,easter ,sunday1 but ,i     
could not go to mass1 as ,i did not have
 any clothing except the flowered       
kimona4 ,by the second ,sunday1 ,april  
#adth1 with the assistance of ,mrs4     

,kearney1 ,i had secured sufficient     
clothes to be attired fairly            
respectable1 and ,i decided that ,i     
would go to church4 ,i did not care to  
be conspicuous1 or to mix with the      
people very much1 as ,i was not         
accustomed to the ways of the world as  
yet1 so ,i decided to go to ,hilyard1 a 
suburb of ,spokane1 to hear holy mass   
and the sermon4  ,during the entire     
service1 it all seemed darker and more  
stupid than at any time during my past  
life4 ,i thought it was due to the      
newness of my present life1 and ,i left 
the church in silence4  ,on ,saturday   
morning1 ,april #bjth1 ,sister ,rita    
came to visit me for the second time    
since ,i had left4 ,as she entered the  
door she said that this time she had    
taken it upon herself to come and see   
her dear friend1 ,sister ,lucretia1 and 
that she was going to stay with me till 
,sunday night4  ,think of it1 people1   
how ,rome was using this dear1 good     
friend of mine to do its work4 ,i still 

had enough ,roman ,catholicism embedded 
in my heart and mind to watch her1 even 
at night1 sleeping with one eye open1 so
 to speak4 ,my suspicions were so strong
 that ,i had my few belongings moved to 
safe-keeping during her stay with me4   
,she told me that ,i did not look right 
in civilian clothes1 and that ,i could  
never look as nice in any other as the  
sister's garb4 ,she tried to induce me  
to clothe myself as a sister again and  
return with her1 saying that she could  
get the consent of the ecclesiastical   
authorities and the superiors of the    
community for us to take a trip to ,rome
 and other parts of ,europe4  ,this was 
a mighty temptation to me1 as ,i had    
wished many times to see the ,vatican   
and visit the ,pope1 but ,i knew that if
 ,i accepted this offer ,i would have to
 return to the community1 and now1 as ,i
 was out1 ,i was determined to stay2 so 
,i told her that ,i could not accept the
 offer1 as ,i did not intend to return  
to the sisterhood4 ,many times since1 ,i

 have looked back to this visit of      
,sister ,rita1 and concluded that some  
guiding hand1 some power1 greater and   
mightier than my own1 was directing my  
actions and decisions on the great      
temptations that were being placed      
before me4  ,on ,monday1 ,april #bb;d1  
,mother ,nazareth and ,sister ,matilda  
came to see me again4 ,mother ,nazareth 
told me that ,i was living in mortal sin
 every day for not having dispensation  
from my vows4 ,i told her that it was   
through no fault of my own1 as ,i was   
waiting for them to get my dispensation4
 ,she then took a long document from her
 pocket1 asking me to sign it for my    
dispensation4 ,i looked at it and       
informed her that it was written in     
,latin and that ,i did not understand   
,latin sufficiently to sign my name to a
 document written in that language4 ,she
 then handed me another document1 and   
upon examination1 ,i found that it was  
written in ,french4 ,i told her that ,i 
did not understand ,french sufficiently 

to sign my name to it1 and asked her to 
explain it to me4 7,i knew from former  
association with her and ,sister        
,matilda that neither of them could read
 ,french or ,latin47 ,without any       
explanation she handed me the third     
document4 ,this one was written in      
,english4 ,i asked them to excuse me for
 a minute and ,i went to an adjoining   
room1 where1 in the presence of ,mrs4   
,kearney1 ,i copied the following1 which
 was under the heading on the document1 
,reasons for leaving the ,order3        
,community life has become wearisome to 
me1 and1 therefore1 it interferes with  
the saving of my soul4 ,i am convinced  
that it is best for me to return to the 
world4  ,i returned to the room where   
the two sisters were and handed them the
 document1 informing them that ,i could 
not sign it1 as it did not contain the  
reasons for my leaving the order1 as ,i 
had never been weary a day in my life4  
,i told them that they both knew the    
reasons for which ,i left1 and1 if they 

did not1 they could find them in my     
letter to the community which was       
written when ,i left the order4 ,such   
lies6 ,i said1 ,why can't you be honest8
 ,i can send my own reasons to ,rome and
 get dispensation for myself when ,i get
 ready4  ,two days later1 ,father ,carti
 came to see me for the second time1    
with practically the same message as    
before1 viz41 to return to the community
 and in regards to settlement of my     
claims against them4  ,the next day1    
,thursday1 ,april #beth1 ,father ,carti 
telephoned to me and asked me to come to
 the ,gonzaga ,college1 so we could talk
 further in regard to the settlement and
 if possible1 come to some agreement4   
,mrs4 ,kearney accompanied me to the    
college1 and when ,father ,carti saw    
that ,i had a witness1 he asked1 ,do you
 want this woman to hear what we have to
 say8 ,i answered1 ,yes1 ,i want her to 
hear whatever is said4 ,he hinted that  
there would be no business transacted in
 her company1 so we left4  ,from the    

college ,i called on my attorney1 whom  
,i had retained as my adviser1 and he   
advised me to give them till the first  
of ,may to settle for two thousand      
dollars4 ,on returning home1 ,i         
telephoned to ,father ,carti1 and       
informed him that ,i had been to see my 
attorney since ,i left the college and  
that ,i would give them 7the community7 
until the first of ,may to settle for   
the two thousand dollars ,i originally  
asked2 and that in the future all       
business was to be transacted through my
 attorney1 as ,i was not physically able
 to attend to it myself1 being on the   
verge of nervous collapse4 ,he was very 
angry1 saying that ,i was wrong and had 
no business to go to secular law        
7meaning a secular attorney7 and that we
 could have settled it ourselves4  ,i   
had been out of the sisterhood nearly   
four weeks1 and had attended church only
 once1 so now ,i thought ,i would take  
up my religion again and attend mass and
 church service4 ,so1 on ,sunday1 ,april

 #bhth1 ,i again went to ,hilyard and   
heard the ,latin mass and the priest    
preach4 ,during the sermon ,i was       
looking at the statues and other        
religious show in the church1 and then  
and there1 in that house1 being used for
 so-called religious services1 ,god     
revealed ,himself to me4 ,the whole show
 really was nauseating to me1 and before
 the sermon was finished ,i retired as  
quietly as ,i could4 ,i had heard of the
 idols and images of the ,chinese       
,joss-house1 and that is just as it     
appeared to me that day4 ,when ,i       
arrived home1 ,i told ,mrs4 ,kearney to 
not awaken me again for mass1 unless ,i 
told her to do so4  ,the following week1
 ,mrs4 ,kearney came to me and told me  
that ,father ,carti had told her to put 
me out of her house1 that by keeping me 
there it would hurt her with the        
sisters1 the priests and the ,roman     
,catholics4 ,my answer was that ,i had  
left the sisterhood because of the      
wrongs and oppressive1 tyrannical       

treatment2 now ,i see that there is     
something wrong with that religion1 too4
 ,if they are going to follow and hound 
and down me1 ,i am through with them1   
and ,i do not want anything further to  
do with any of them4 ,i also told her   
that if anything happened me1 or if ,i  
got sick1 to call the first ,protestant 
minister she could find4  ,this         
instance1 together with the persecutions
 that had been going on since ,i had    
been out of the sisterhood1 caused me to
 decide conclusively in my own mind that
 ,i did not want anything to do with    
them4  ,i had been a ,roman ,catholic up
 to that moment1 and had given them no  
cause to treat me in that manner1 other 
than having left the sisterhood1 as many
 sisters do1 but now they did not care  
what became of me4 ,mrs4 ,kearney was   
the only friend ,i had in ,spokane to   
whom ,i could go and this was probably  
the last subterfuge of the ,hierarchy to
 force me back to their clutches4  ,so  
,i became a ,protestant1 not in reality 

for some time1 but ,i was no longer a   
,roman ,catholic4     ,,chapter ,,xiv4  
,,form ,,for ,,dispensation ,,of ,,the  
,,holy ,,vows--,,my ,,suit ,,and        
,,settlement ,,with   ,,the ,,sisters   
,,of ,,charity4   ,i was informed by    
,mrs4 ,kearney that ,mother ,nazareth   
had given her fifty dollars so she could
 purchase some clothes for me4 ,this was
 a princely sum1 after all the years of 
service ,i had given them4 ,i have never
 been able to figure in my own mind1    
whether this was supposed to be a       
settlement or whether it was some of the
 charity the sisters were supposed to   
do4  ,yes1 they are called ,sisters of  
,charity1 but with all my experience    
with them ,i now have to rack my brain  
to find the charity done by the ,roman  
,catholic system1 through them4 ,if some
 person died at the hospital and left   
some clothes that were not claimed by   
anyone1 they would be given to some poor
 person and call it charity4 ,if some   
patient could not or would not pay all  

of their bill1 it would be entered in   
the books as charity4 ,but1 ,god forbid 
that ,i should blame the poor sisters   
for what they do not do4 ,it is the     
sisters who do the charity--not for the 
poor people--but for the church1 by     
giving their life's service4 ,it is     
their bounden duty to do as they are    
told1 and their troubles are great      
enough without me adding to their heavy 
load4 ,on the other hand1 may ,god speed
 the day when the system1 which holds   
these poor women1 as it had me for      
thirty-one years1 will be investigated  
by the proper authorities2 and when this
 comes to pass1 we need have no fear of 
the outcome4  ,after ,mother ,nazareth's
 last visit to me1 and when she was     
convinced that ,i would do generally as 
,i saw fit in regard to the dispensation
 from my vows1 ,i received the following
 in due time3      ,st4 ,vincent's      
,hospital1     ,portland1 ,oregon1 ,may 
#aj1 #aiab4      ,miss ,elizabeth       
,schoffen1     ,spokane1 ,washington4   

,dear ,miss ,schoffen3  ,enclosed you   
will find form to guide you in          
petitioning for the dispensation of your
 holy vows4 ,copy it upon paper found   
herein1 and fill out ,no4 #b according  
to your desire4  ,please return as soon 
as possible1 as it has to be signed by  
the ,superiors before going to ,rome4   
,most sincerely yours1      ,,sr4 ,m4   
,,nazareth4  ,the form to guide me in   
petitioning ,his ,holiness was3      ,to
 ,his ,holiness ,pius ,x3     ,most     
,holy ,father3  ,i1 the undersigned1 a  
sister of the ,institute of the         
,daughters of ,charity1 ,servants of the
 ,poor1 of ,montreal1 ,canada1          
respectfully submit to your ,holiness   
the following3      #a4--;,i am         
fifty-one years of age and professed    
7vocal7     twenty-nine years4          
#b4--;,here sister may give her reasons 
herself1 to suit     her own            
disposition4 ,she is perfectly          
free44444444444                         
4444444444444444444444444444444444444444

4444444444444                           
4444444444444444444444444444444444444444
4444444444444                           
4444444444444444444444444444444444444444
4444444444444      #c4--;,in consequence
 ,i humbly suplicate ,your ,holiness    
to give me dispensation from my vows of 
poverty1 chastity     and obedience1 and
 to grant me permission to live in the  
world in secular habit4      ,spokane1  
,washington1 this 44444444 7date7       
44444444 #aiab4          7,sign7 ,sister
 ,lucretia1 nee ,elizabeth ,schoffen4   
,notice it says1 ,she is perfectly free4
 ,yes1 ,i was perfectly free after the  
agents of ,his ,holiness found out in   
plain words spoken by me that ,i was    
through answering to their demands4 ,i  
was perfectly free1 and yet in the next 
breath1 according to the ,roman         
,catholic idea1 ,i had to have          
permission from an ,italian ,pope even  
to wear the common clothes of an        
,american citizen4 ,think of it1 dear   
reader1 ,i was an ,american born        

citizen1 under the protection of the    
laws of this country2 but because ,i had
 been born and raised a ,roman          
,catholic1 and then induced to take the 
vows of the ,roman ,catholic sisterhood1
 ,i had no rights as an ,american       
citizen1 and had to have the permission 
of this self-styled infallible pope     
before ,i could live like other people  
live4 ,i might say right here1 that ,i  
have never applied for1 and consequently
 have never received the dispensation   
from my vows as a sister in the ,roman  
,catholic ,church1 as ,i soon learned   
after ,i left that organization that the
 ,church of ,rome had no right in the   
first place to deprive me of the        
liberties guaranteed every citizen of   
this country4  ,the authorities of the  
,roman ,catholic system will tell the   
civil authorities and the ,protestants  
that the adherents of the ,roman        
,catholic ,church are citizens first and
 ,roman ,catholics second4 ,but that is 
not according to the inner teaching of  

that system4 ,read what one of their own
 representatives1 the late ,father ,d4  
,s4 ,phelan1 has said1 when speaking    
from his own throne3  ,they tell us that
 we think more of the church than we do 
of the ,united ,states2 of course we do4
 ,why1 if the government of the ,united 
,states were at war with the church1 we 
would say tomorrow1 to hell with the    
government of the ,united ,states2 and  
if the church and all the governments of
 the world were at war1 we would say1 to
 hell with all the governments of the   
world4 ,they say we are ,catholics first
 and ,americans decidedly afterwards4   
,there is no doubt about it4444 ,the    
,catholics of the world are ,catholics  
first and always2 they are ,americans1  
they are ,germans1 they are ,french1 or 
they are ,english afterwards4 7,the     
,patriots ,manual1 as copied from the   
,western ,watchman1 issue of ,june #bg1 
#aiab47  ,think on these points1 my dear
 ,american friend6 ,use the brain which 
,god has given you1 and decide for      

yourself if an institution such as the  
,roman ,catholic system is an ,american 
institution4 ,have we room within our   
borders for any other than that which   
will uphold our laws1 and fight1 if need
 be1 for the protection of the          
principles upon which this great        
democracy is builded8  ,as ,i have      
previously stated1 ,i told the community
 that ,i would give them until ,may #ast
 to settle with me for two thousand     
dollars4 ,this they refused to do1 so my
 attorney wrote as follows3             
,spokane1 ,wash41 ,may #b1 #aiab4       
,mother ,m4 ,nazareth1 ,prov4 ,sup41    
,st4 ,vincent's ,hospital1 ,portland1   
,oregon4      ,dear ,madam3       ,we   
have placed in our hands for settlement 
the matter of ,sister      ,lucretia1   
which we are informed you are familiar  
with4 ,if this      matter can be       
settled for twenty thousand dollars1 we 
are in a      position to settle it1 and
 if not attended to at once1 we will    
take such steps as may become necessary 

to enforce settlement      at once4     
,yours very truly1         ,,scott      
,,campbell4  ,the community made no     
favorable reply to the above            
communication1 so it was decided that   
,i1 with my attorney1 ,mr4 ,scott1 would
 go to ,portland1 to look into the      
matter of filing suit against them for  
salary due me for my services at ,st4   
,vincent's ,hospital4  ,in the          
,spokesman ,review 7a ,spokane daily7   
there appeared two articles about the   
case1 issue of ,june #i1 #aiab4 ,the    
first article was a lengthy one1        
discussing in general the case1 and     
containing a statement obtained from me4
 ,the second1 a dispatch from ,portland1
 ,i will reprint4 ,it will explain      
itself3       ,,superior ,,surprised    
,,at ,,suit4       ,hospital ,head      
,gives ,sister ,lucretia ,high          
,testimonial4       ,portland1 ,ore41   
,june #h4--,sister ,alexander1 superior 
at ,st4      ,vincent's ,hospital1 was  
surprised to learn from ,spokane        

tonight that ,sister ,lucretia          
threatened proceedings against the      
order1 and gave ,sister ,lucretia a high
 testimonial for her work      while at 
the hospital4       ,sister ,lucretia   
severed her connections with the        
hospital and      with the ,sisters of  
,charity last ,april1 said ,sister      
,alexander4      ,she was dissatisfied  
at having been assigned to another field
      of labor1 that at ,st4 ,eugene's  
,hospital at ,cranbrook1 ,b4 ,c41       
after having served in ,portland so     
long4       ,there was nothing improper 
in her leaving1 as she was free to      
leave the order if she choose4 ,she did 
not express any hostile      feelings   
toward the sisters1 however1 and seemed 
to have been      perfectly satisfied   
with her treatment4 ,i have been in     
touch      with her up to a few weeks   
ago and have received no intimation     
of her intention to bring suit4       ,i
 cannot imagine on what grounds she     
bases her contention4 ,she      was an  

excellent nurse while at the hospital   
and was well and      favorably known   
about the city4       ,before entering  
the order1 ,sister ,lucretia's home was 
near      ,spokane1 and she has been at 
,st4 ,vincent's ,hospital here almost   
the entire time of her sisterhood4  ,on 
,june #ajth ,i donned my sisterhood     
garb1 and in company with ,mr4 ,scott1  
went to ,portland4 ,the reason for my   
wearing the garb again1 was that ,i had 
a clerical half-fare railroad book1     
which had been given to me by the       
community for my use1 and as ,i had not 
received my dispensation1 ,i was still a
 sister and was entitled to wear the    
garb of the ,roman ,catholic sisterhood1
 if ,i so choose4  ,during my entire    
sisterhood ,i had always traveled either
 half-fare1 or on a pass which would    
generally be made out for the superior  
and her companion4 ,the sisters were    
trained to imitate the hand-writing of  
the sisters in whose names the passes or
 half-fare books were issued1 so they   

could sign the name appearing on these  
passes or half-fare books4 ,at retreat  
time these passes and books were kept   
busy1 carrying sisters one way1 and then
 returned by mail for others to travel  
on4  ,i remember once when ,i was       
traveling on ,mother ,theresa's pass1   
and after ,i had signed her name1 the   
conductor who knew both ,mother ,theresa
 and myself1 came to me in a            
good-natured1 smiling manner and said   
that ,i was a rather young-looking      
,mother ,theresa4  ,i returned to       
,spokane1 ,june #ahth1 again using the  
half-fare book4 ,the authorities of the 
,roman ,hierarchy may deny that ,i had  
this clergy half-fare book1 but ,i might
 say right here1 let them deny6 ,i still
 have the book with forty-two tickets in
 it1 good only in the year #aiab1 and   
with the stamp of the                   
,trans-,continental ,clergy ,bureau1    
,january #bg1 #aiab1 and even the ,roman
 ,catholic ,hierarchy cannot deny that  
,i was a sister in good standing in     

,january1 #aiab4  ,on ,july #bast ,i    
bade adieu to ,spokane4 ,i had just     
boarded the train when a priest1 whom ,i
 had never seen before1 came to me and  
began to question me as to where ,i was 
going1 who ,i was1 etc4 ,this was the   
first time ,i had been alone since ,i   
had been out of the sisterhood1 and     
whether this was an accidental meeting  
or whether he was sent purposely ,i am  
unable to say4 ,i answered his          
questions1 and then asked him his name4 
,he told me ,father ,cronin4 ,while he  
did not annoy me on the journey to      
,portland1 ,i was very suspicious1 and  
was very careful that he did not have a 
chance to get any of my few belongings1 
as ,i had some very valuable papers in  
my suitcase4  ,mrs4 ,kearney had come to
 ,portland before and had made          
arrangements for hotel accommodations4  
,the law firm of ,kollock and ,zollinger
 were my representatives in ,portland1  
arrangements having been previously made
 by ,mr4 ,scott with them4  ,my         

complaint against the ,sisters of       
,charity having been completed1 ,i      
signed it on the twenty-fourth day of   
,july1 #aiab1 and it was duly filed in  
the ,circuit ,court of ,multnomah       
,county4       ,,copy ,,of ,,complaint4 
,in the ,circuit ,court of the ,state of
 ,oregon for ,multnomah      ,county4   
,elizabeth ,schoffen1      ,plaintiff1  
7            vs4                        
7     ,sisters of ,charity of           
,providence1 ,st4 7 ,,complaint         
,vincent's ,hospital1 a corporation1  7 
,defendant47       ,comes now the       
plaintiff herein and for cause of action
 against      defendant alleges3        
,i4       ,that defendant is a          
corporation1 incorporated1 organized and
      existing under and by virtue of   
the laws of the ,state of      ,oregon2 
,,ii4       ,that at the special        
instance and request of the defendant   
the      plaintiff performed work and   
labor for the defendant as a      nurse 
at1 in and about the hospital owned and 

operated by the      defendant in the   
,city of ,portland1 ,county of          
,multnomah and      ,state of ,oregon1  
known and described as ,st4 ,vincent's  
,hospital1      from and about ,july #g1
 #ahic1 to and including the first day  
of      ,july1 #ahii2       ,,iii4      
,that from and after the #ast day of    
,july1 #ahii1 to and including          
,july #bf1 #aiaa1 the plaintiff         
performed work and labor for the        
defendant as nurse and manager and      
superintendent of a floor in      the   
hospital owned and operated by the      
defendant in the ,city of               
,portland1 ,county of ,multnomah and    
,state of ,oregon2       ,,iv4          
,that during all of said period of the  
time the account between      plaintiff 
and defendant was an open1 mutual and   
current      account1 and that plaintiff
 continuously performed work and        
labor during said period for the        
defendant1 and defendant      during    
said period furnished and gave to the   

plaintiff clothing      and board and   
lodging2       ,v4       ,that the      
reasonable value of the services        
rendered by plaintiff      to defendant 
as a nurse1 between ,july #g1 #ahic1 and
 the #ast day      of ,july1 #ahii1 over
 and above and in addition to the       
clothing      and board and lodging     
furnished by defendant to plaintiff1 was
      and is the sum of #ajj4jj per     
month2 that the reasonable value      of
 the services rendered and work and     
labor performed by      plaintiff for   
defendant as nurse and manager or       
superintendent      of the floor in the 
hospital owned and operated by the      
defendant1 from the #ast day of ,july1  
#ahii1 to and including      ,july #bf1 
#aiaa1 over and above and in addition to
 the clothing      and board and lodging
 furnished and given by the defendant to
      the plaintiff during the said     
period1 was and is the sum of           
#aej4jj per month2       ,,vi4          
,that the plaintiff has demanded of     

defendant payment of said      sums1 but
 the defendant has wholly failed1       
refused and      neglected to pay same  
or any part thereof1 and that there is  
now due and owing from defendant to     
plaintiff on account      thereof the   
sum of #bh1hjj4jj4       ,,wherefore1   
plaintiff prays for judgment against the
 defendant      in the sum of           
#bh1hjj4jj1 together with the costs and 
disbursements herein4      ,,scott      
,,compbell1     ,,kollock  ,,zollinger1 
,attorneys for ,plaintiff4      ,,state 
,,of ,,oregon1     ,county of           
,multnomah--ss4       ,i1 ,elizabeth    
,schoffen1 being first duly sworn1      
depose and say      that ,i am the      
plaintiff in the above action2 and the  
foregoing      complaint is true as ,i  
verily believe4      7,signed7          
,,elizabeth ,,schoffen4                 
,subscribed and sworn to before me this 
#bdth day of ,july1 #aiab4              
7,signed7 ,,john ,k4 ,,kollock1         
7,seal7   ,notary ,public for the ,state

 of ,oregon4  ,the summons was served on
 the ,sisters of ,charity and on ,sister
 ,alexander personally1 on ,july #bh1   
#aiab1 according to the record of the   
sheriff's office4 ,soon after this1 and 
several other times before the answer to
 the complaint was filed1 which was     
nearly four months later1 the attorneys 
for the defendants endeavored to settle 
for various amounts up to #a1ejj4jj4    
,the answer to the complaint was as     
follows3       ,in the ,circuit ,court  
of the ,state of ,oregon for ,multnomah 
,county4      ,elizabeth ,schoffen1     
,plaintiff1 7            vs4            
7     ,sisters of ,charity of           
,providence1 ,st4 7 ,,answer            
,vincent's ,hospital1 a corporation1  7 
,defendant4 7       ,now comes the      
defendant and answers the complaint     
herein as      follows3       ,admits   
that it is a corporation organized and  
existing under      and by virtue of the
 laws of the ,state of ,oregon4         
,save as herein admitted1 defendant     

denies each and every      allegation of
 the complaint4       ,further          
answering1 defendant alleges that its   
incorporation was      effected by and  
on behalf of members of a charitable and
      religious organization known as   
,sisters of ,charity of the      ,house 
of ,providence in the ,territory of     
,washington1 and that      its affairs  
during all the time stated in the       
complaint have      been managed and are
 still managed by and through the said  
religious organization acting through   
the medium of the      corporation4     
,said organization has been engaged     
during all the      time stated in the  
complaint and is still engaged in       
charitable      and religious work1     
conducting1 among other institutions1 a 
hospital in the ,city of ,portland1     
,state of ,oregon4       ,prior to the  
#gth day of ,july1 #ahic1 plaintiff     
applied to the      members of said     
religious organization to be admitted as
 a      member thereof1 for the purpose 

of gaining the spiritual      advantages
 accruing to the members thereof1 and   
for the purpose      of engaging in     
religious and charitable work with the  
members      of said religious          
organization4 ,on some day prior to said
 #gth      day of ,july1 #ahic1 the     
plaintiff1 upon such application1 was   
admitted to membership in said religious
 organization and has      been engaged 
since that time and up to the #bfth day 
of ,july1      #aiaa1 in religious and  
charitable work with the members of said
      organization1 including work in   
and about the care of the sick      at  
the said ,st4 ,vincent's ,hospital in   
the ,city of ,portland1      ,oregon4   
,at the time when plaintiff applied for 
membership in said      religious       
community1 and at the time she was      
admitted as a      member thereof1 and  
during all of the time plaintiff        
continued      to be a member thereof1  
and during all the time plaintiff was   
engaged in such religious and charitable

 work aforesaid1 it was      distinctly 
understood by plaintiff and her         
acceptance into said      religious     
community and the permission to engage  
in charitable      and religious work1  
with the members of said religious      
community1 through the medium of the    
corporation defendant      herein1 and  
otherwise was based upon the distinct   
and expressed      understanding that no
 pecuniary reward or financial return of
      any kind whatsoever was to be paid
 to plaintiff for any work      done at 
the instance of the members of said     
religious      community1 or at the     
instance of the corporation defendant   
herein1 or for any services of any kind 
in any manner connected      with the   
work of said religious organization and 
of the      corporation1 the defendant1 
herein4       ,wherefore1 defendant     
demands that plaintiff take nothing by  
this action1 and that it has judgment   
for costs and its      disbursements4   
,m4 ,m4 ,,connor1     ,,carey  ,,kerr1  

,attorneys for ,defendant4      ,,state 
,,of ,,oregon1     ,county of           
,multnomah--ss4       ,i1 ,sister       
,alexander1 being first duly sworn1     
depose and say      that ,i am an       
officer1 to wit41 ,superioress of the   
defendant in      the above entitled    
action2 that ,i have read the foregoing 
answer1 know the contents thereof1 and  
believe the same to be      true4       
,,sister ,,alexander4       ,subscribed 
and sworn to before me this #aeth day of
 ,november1      #aiab4      7,seal7    
,m4 ,m4 ,,connor1             ,notary   
,public for ,oregon4  ,i have explained 
throughout this book the kind of        
religious and charitable work ,i was    
engaged in4 ,very true1 as stated in the
 above document1 when ,i entered1 ,i    
believed1 as ,i was taught by the priest
 and sisters1 that the most certain way 
to save my soul was by entering the     
convent and living a good1 pure1 holy   
life as a virgin spouse of the church   
and ,christ1 and1 if possible1 to become

 a great saint so that ,i might secure a
 high place in ,heaven among the saints 
and near our ,lord4 ,but1 the spiritual 
benefits ,i derived were that ,i was    
compelled by the teachings and practices
 of the ,roman ,catholic convent system 
to be an unwilling hypocrite1 and in the
 end had to seek religion and           
consolation out of the convent and the  
,roman ,catholic ,church4  ,my suit     
against the community was evidently     
causing them much discomfort1 as the    
attorneys for the defendant1 several    
times during the winter offered to      
settle1 but for such small amounts that 
,i could not accept4 ,by spring they had
 reached the sum of three thousand      
dollars1 and asked me to pay my         
attorneys from that amount4 ,this ,i    
refused1 as ,i believed ,i could force  
them to pay more than that if the case  
would come to court4 ,i knew at least   
that ,i could cause them very much      
uneasiness4  ,by ,march1 ,i was offered 
three thousand dollars1 and the ,sisters

 of ,charity promised to pay my         
attorneys' fee4 ,my attorneys and myself
 conferred in this matter1 and as ,i was
 nearly destitute1 ,i thought it best to
 take what ,i could get and have the    
strain off my mind1 and ,i authorized   
,mr4 ,scott and ,mr4 ,kollock to notify 
the defendant's attorneys that ,i would 
accept their offer4 ,so1 on ,march #ae1 
#aiac1 ,i received from the ,sisters of 
,charity of ,providence1 through their  
representatives1 the sum of three       
thousand dollars for thirty-one years of
 service to them4 ,my attorneys' fee was
 fifteen hundred dollars1 which was     
promptly paid4 ,so it cost the ,roman   
,catholic ,hierarchy the sum of four    
thousand five hundred dollars           
7#d1ejj4jj7 for the service ,i had given
 them1 and to keep the case out of court
 and the publicity of the same1 which   
would have been a bankruptcy producer   
for ,st4 ,vincent's ,hospital4  ,a great
 deal has been said by the ,roman       
,catholics about the large sum of money 

the church paid me after ,i left the    
sisterhood4 ,i will agree with my ,roman
 ,catholic friends that the amount ,i   
received from the community was a       
magnificent sum1 when seen in silver    
dollar pieces4 ,but1 if they will       
consider the thirty-one years' service  
,i gave them1 they will very readily see
 that ,i received just about one dollar 
and eighty-six cents 7#a4hf7 a week1    
most of the time nursing and managing   
one of the floors of ,st4 ,vincent's    
,hospital4 ,a nurse in the world        
ordinarily is paid twenty-five dollars a
 week2 now my good ,roman ,catholic     
knocker1 compare that with the large sum
 ,i received4 ,if the service of a nurse
 is worth that amount1 why is a         
sister-nurse not worth just as much1 if 
she does the work required or more8  ,i 
am not complaining about the pay ,i     
received4 ,i feel that ,i am repaid1 not
 in dollars and cents1 but in           
experience4 ,i am only too thankful to  
think that ,i saw the folly of the whole

 system in time to be free before ,i    
would be called upon to face my ,maker1 
and ,i trust and pray that in ,his great
 judgment1 ,he may give me strength and 
health and wisdom for many years to come
 that ,i may be able to tell my story to
 those in darkness and indifference4    
,illustration3 ,fac-simile of ,check ,i 
,received from ,attorneys for ,sisters  
of ,charity1 as ,payment for ,thirty-one
 ,years' ,service ,rendered to ,them4   
,,chapter ,,xv4    ,,my ,,recommendation
 ,,from ,,the ,,doctors ,,of            
,,portland--,,the ,,good ,,samaritan--,i
   ,,affiliate ,,with ,a ,,protestant   
,,church--,,my ,,new ,,work4   ,when ,i 
came to ,portland1 and before ,i had    
settled with the community1 ,i decided  
that ,i would try to make my living by  
nursing1 as that was practically all ,i 
knew4  ,i had my diploma to show that ,i
 was a graduated nurse1 that is1 so the 
diploma said1 and in addition to that ,i
 received the signatures of eighty-eight
 physicians of ,portland1 recommending  

me as an efficient nurse1 so ,i thought 
,i had sufficient proof that ,i was     
capable to do at least ordinary nursing4
  ,my recommendation from the physicians
 was as follows3      ,portland1        
,oregon1 ,july #ca1 #aiab4  ,,this ,,is 
,,to ,,certify that we1 the undersigned1
 physicians and surgeons in the ,city of
 ,portland1 ,oregon1 have been well     
acquainted for many years with          
,elizabeth ,schoffen1 otherwise known as
 ,sister ,lucretia1 and have been       
thoroughly familiar with her work as a  
nurse and member of the order of        
,sisters of ,charity of ,providence at  
,st4 ,vincent's ,hospital in the ,city  
of ,portland2 that in our opinion she is
 a thoroughly competent nurse2  ,that   
for a number of years prior to ,july1   
#aiaa1 she was in charge of one of the  
floors at ,st4 ,vincent's ,hospital1 and
 was an efficient and capable           
superintendent and officer2 that to the 
best of our knowledge and belief1 while 
a nurse at ,st4 ,vincent's ,hospital and

 particularly while in charge of one of 
the floors1 she performed faithfully and
 efficiently all duties entrusted to her
 by the management of the hospital and  
by the doctors who came in contact with 
her4  ,as ,i have stated above1 ,i      
received the signatures of eighty-eight 
prominent physicians and surgeons of    
,portland to this document1 the original
 of which ,i have in safe-keeping4      
,with these recommendations and the     
promise of several of the physicians who
 were prominent at ,st4 ,vincent's that 
they would help me get started in my    
work1 ,i opened a nursing home in ,east 
,portland with a friend nurse1 in       
,september4  ,nearly every day during   
the fall and winter ,i went in search of
 work--most of the time walking1 as     
nickels were not very                   
plentiful--visiting the doctors'        
offices1 hoping against hope that ,i    
might induce them to send a few patients
 to the ,home4  ,during the winter we   
just about made expenses4 ,as yet1 ,i   

had a very faint idea of how the ,roman 
,catholic boycott was influencing the   
pubic--probably not openly1 but         
influencing it just the same1 so that   
people were afraid to come to the ,home1
 or to send anyone there4 ,by the end of
 winter ,i realized that ,i could not   
succeed in this manner1 but1            
nevertheless1 ,i put forth every effort4
  ,it had been almost a year since ,i   
had left the ,romish institution4 ,i had
 not become accustomed to the ways of   
the world sufficiently to know how to   
search for work intelligently4 ,i was   
completely down and out1 not knowing    
what to do to make my living except to  
nurse1 and ,i had been a failure at that
 up to this time1 being unable to obtain
 the work4 ,my sorrow weighed upon my   
mind and heart1 which was already broken
 and crushed by the awful ,romish       
convent cruelty and oppression4 ,no     
priest1 no sister1 nor was ever a       
messenger from any of their so-called   
religious and charitable institutions1  

sent to me to do a kind turn whatever4  
,after thirty-one years of service to   
the ,roman ,catholic ,system1 it seemed 
to me that the hardest and harshest of  
masters1 not of hell itself1 would have 
shown me a little mercy4  ,it was in    
this condition that1 one day in the late
 winter ,i had been out from early in   
the morning1 walking the streets in     
quest of some honest employment that ,i 
might keep body and soul together4 ,my  
clothing was very thin2 my feet nearly  
bare4 ,i arrived home about nine o'clock
 in the evening1 tired and disappointed 
from the day's unsuccessful effort1 as  
,i had done many other nights4 ,had ,i  
been successful1 it would have helped   
the woman ,i was with just as much as it
 would have helped me1 and it would only
 be natural to think that she would have
 been very anxious to know about the    
day's result4 ,but1 quite to the        
contrary1 when ,i arrived home this     
particular evening the doors were all   
locked against me1 and by a woman who   

pleased to call herself ,protestant4    
,and ,i wish it plainly understood that 
this was not a warm summer night1 but   
just the opposite1 a cold1 dark1 wintry 
night in the latter part of ,february4  
,could anyone blame me for believing the
 terrible stories ,i had heard about    
,protestant people while ,i was in the  
convent8  ,i made my presence known by  
knocking on the door1 but this lady who 
was comfortably warm in her bed did not 
condescend to stir herself to admit me4 
,i found a window which was not locked  
and ,i entered by climbing through it4  
,when she saw that ,i was inside she    
asked1 ,how did you get in8 ,indeed1 ,i 
will never forget that question4        
,imagine1 if you can1 the feeling ,i    
had4 ,there were six vacant beds in the 
house that night1 but with the unwelcome
 feeling which was implied by her       
actions and talk1 ,i did not retire1 but
 laid on the sofa in the clothes ,i had 
worn during the day1 as ,i did for      
several nights to follow4 ,shame1 shame 

on such ,protestant people6 ,to my      
sorrow ,i have found many who have the  
same spirit that this lady had4 ,she    
evidently did not care what became of   
me4 ,if she did not want me there1 why  
did she not tell me8 ,no1 she would     
rather break what little spirits ,i had 
remaining4  ,in the meantime1 ,i had    
made the acquaintance of two real       
,protestant people1 ,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,e4  
,u4 ,morrison4 ,i went to ,mrs4         
,morrison the following morning and told
 her about the above incident4 ,she told
 me that ,i did not have to endure this 
kind of treatment1 and that1 if ,i      
wished1 ,i could move to her home1 and  
that as long as she had a crust of bread
 it would be shared with me4 ,i accepted
 her very kind offer1 and moved a few   
days later1 ,march #ast4 ,from that day 
till now1 they have been the ,good      
,samaritan to me1 always the same in all
 kindness and ,christian spirit4 ,all ,i
 am1 all ,i have today1 ,i owe it1 to a 
certain extent1 to these good people1   

,mr4 and ,mrs4 ,morrison4 ,for ,i was an
 hungered1 and ye gave me meat2 ,i was  
thirsty1 and ye gave me drink2 ,i was a 
stranger1 and ye took me in2 naked1 and 
ye clothed me2 ,i was sick1 and ye      
visited me2 ,i was in prison1 and ye    
came unto me4 ,matt4 #be3ce1 #cf4  ,in  
all my trouble and sorrow of moving1 and
 settling with the sisters1 there were  
many instances which ,i now look upon   
with much amusement4 ,i remember about  
the first thing that happened when ,i   
arrived at ,mrs4 ,morrison's home4 ,she 
came to my room and asked me if ,i      
wanted to eat with the family or eat by 
myself or how ,i wanted to eat4 ,there  
were several men there1 and ,i had never
 eaten with a man1 except once when ,i  
was with ,mrs4 ,kearney in ,spokane1    
since ,i left my home in #ahha4 ,i      
thought for a moment and then ,i told   
,mrs4 ,morrison that ,i was not         
accustomed to eating with men1 but that 
,i would try it4 ,it was a very peculiar
 feeling that came over me the first    

time ,i sat at the table with them1 but 
,i soon became acquainted and felt very 
much at home4 ,when ,i would go to the  
dining-room1 ,i would very often say1   
,well1 ,i used to go to mass1 now ,i go 
to mess4  ,as the days and weeks passed 
by1 ,i more and more realized that the  
great hand of ,god was directing me in  
all my movements4 ,even though my short 
experience out of the shadow of the     
convent cross had not been a success1 so
 to speak1 yet it was preparing me for  
the days to follow4 ,god was very good  
to me1 and my sentiments cannot be      
better expressed than my repeating that 
wonderful twenty-third ,psalm3 ,the     
,lord is my shepherd1 ,i shall not want4
 ,he maketh me to lie down in green     
pastures2 ,he leadeth me beside the     
still waters4 ,he restoreth my soul2 ,he
 leadeth me in the path of righteousness
 for ,his name's sake4 ,yea1 though ,i  
walk through the valley of the shadow of
 death ,i will fear no evil1 for ,thou  
art with me2 ,thy rod and ,thy staff    

they comfort me4 ,thou preparest a table
 before me in the presence of mine      
enemies2 ,thou anointest my head with   
oil2 my cup runneth over4 ,surely       
goodness and mercy shall follow me all  
the days of my life2 and ,i will dwell  
in the house of the ,lord forever4  ,i  
visited a great many ,protestant        
ministers1 asking them to explain       
different parts of the ,bible to me1 and
 they all received me and treated me    
very courteously4 ,i started studying   
,god's ,word as revealed by ,christ in  
the ,new ,testament1 and the more ,i    
read and studied1 the more ,i became    
convinced that the religion ,i had been 
living all my life was not the religion 
of a ,christ crucified1 dead and buried 
for the salvation of poor1 fallen       
mankind4  ,the ,scriptures are replete  
with teachings that conflict with the   
teachings of the ,roman ,catholic       
,church1 which are traditional and a    
great many of them are taken from       
religions other than ,christianity4     

,and call no man your father upon the   
earth3 for one is your ,father1 which is
 in heaven4 ,matt4 #bc3i4  ,we have one 
,father1 even ,god4 ,john #h3da4        
,these1 and many more verses of the     
like1 show conclusively that it was     
never intended that the priests of the  
church of ,rome should be called father1
 for ,god is our spiritual ,father1 and 
the ,good ,book does not lie4  ,now the 
,spirit speaketh expressly that in the  
latter times some shall depart from the 
faith1 giving heed to seducing spirits1 
and doctrines of devils2 speaking lies  
in hypocrisy2 having their conscience   
seared with a hot iron2 forbidding to   
marry1 and commanding to abstain from   
meats1 which ,god has created to be     
received with thanksgiving of them which
 believe and know the truth4 ,for every 
creature of ,god is good1 and nothing to
 be refused1 if it be received with     
thanksgiving3 for it is sanctified by   
the word of ,god and prayer4 #ast       
,timothy #d3a1 #e4  ,all my life ,i had 

lied in hypocrisy1 not that ,i wanted   
to1 but just what the ,roman ,catholic  
system had made of me by their          
hypocritical teachings1 such as the     
,johnny ,morgan story2 and my conscience
 had been seared many1 many times with a
 hot iron4 ,who forbids to marry but the
 ,roman ,catholic system8 ,who commands 
to abstain from eating meat but the     
,roman ,catholic system on ,fridays1    
ember days and during ,lent8  ,the      
,protestant people that ,i came in      
contact with from time to time was not  
the class of people that the ,roman     
,catholic system had pictured to        
me--they were refined1 educated and1    
above all1 charitable4 ,i attended      
,protestant churches1 and heard sermons 
preached from the ,word of ,god         
according to ,christ's teaching--with   
the man-made ,latin mass missing4  ,at  
last1 ,i learned that ,i was to be saved
 by faith and not by penance4 ,therefore
 being justified by faith1 we have peace
 with ,god through our ,lord ,jesus     

,christ4 ,romans #e3a4 ,i also learned  
that there was no mediator between ,god 
and man1 except ,jesus ,christ as ,i    
have explained under the heading        
,confession1 and that if ,i would       
confess my sins to ,him1 ,he would      
forgive me and help me4 ,so ,i gave     
myself to ,his keeping1 and on ,sunday1 
,april #bj1 #aiac1 ,i was baptized into 
the ,protestant faith--which was the    
happiest day of all my life4  ,the      
following ,sunday ,i became a member of 
that church and have been a ,protestant1
 not in name only1 but in reality1 ever 
since4 ,god keep me strong in the faith4
  ,i continued doing nursing for a      
livelihood4 ,some of my doctor friends  
gave me a few private cases1 and ,i also
 was called on by some of the           
,protestant people ,i had become        
acquainted with to wait on them in      
sickness4  ,several times ,i was asked  
to take obstetric 7maternity7 cases1 but
 had to refuse them on account of the   
lack of training in this particular     

line4 ,i have stated before that we were
 kept in ignorance in regard to this    
line of nursing at ,st4 ,vincent's      
,hospital4 ,finally1 ,i decided that ,i 
would take a special course in          
obstetrics1 and ,i spent about six      
months studying very hard4 ,now1        
remember1 that ,i had spent eighteen    
years at ,st4 ,vincent's besides two    
more years in hospital work and yet ,i  
was not allowed to learn this very      
important branch of nursing1 regardless 
of the fact that ,i had the maternity   
ward on my floor all the time ,i was    
superintendent1 and was held responsible
 for any errors in the nursing of these 
cases4  ,before very long the saying of 
,father ,carti1 ,you will have trouble  
in the world1 became very vivid to me4  
,the boycott was working well4 ,i       
remember one case ,i was called on1 that
 of an old lady4 ,she was very sick and 
needed care night and day4 ,she had one 
nurse1 but she could not work all the   
time4 ,i worked only two days1 when the 

other nurse1 who was a ,roman ,catholic1
 went to the lady and told her that she 
could get along without me4 ,this only  
came about after she learned that ,i had
 been a sister in the ,roman ,catholic  
sisterhood4  ,in this1 and other cases1 
my qualifications as a nurse were not   
taken into consideration4 ,it was only  
the fact that ,i had once been a ,roman 
,catholic and sister1 but was now a     
,protestant4 ,another incident of the   
boycott that will be very clear to my   
readers is that a prominent doctor1     
whose name is on my recommendation1 told
 a nurse ,i was working with that she   
could not get any more cases as long as 
,sister ,lucretia was working with her4 
,in many of the states there has been   
agitation about a law protecting        
ex-convicts from the boycott of the     
public1 simply because he is an         
ex-convict4 ,let us also have a law for 
the protection of ex-nuns against the   
boycott of the ,roman ,catholic system  
and the public1 simply because she is an

 ex-nun4  ,it became very apparent to me
 that ,i would have to do something     
besides nursing4 ,but what8 ,i was no   
longer a young girl1 and ,i had worked  
nearly all my life to make of myself an 
efficient nurse1 and ,i had succeeded   
thus far4 ,but1 circumstances so shaped 
themselves that ,i could not secure     
sufficient work to do to keep body and  
soul together4  ,after a great deal of  
deliberation and much thoughtful prayer1
 ,i came to the conclusion that as ,god 
had been with me and brought me out of  
darkness and idolatry1 ,i would dedicate
 my services to ,him1 in word of mouth  
and pen1 telling the story of my life as
 a ,sister of ,charity in the ,roman    
,catholic sisterhood4  ,during ,july1   
#aiae1 ,i had the opportunity to spend a
 few days at the annual ,chautauqua     
being held at ,gladstone1 ,oregon4      
,there ,i met several women with whom ,i
 had been acquainted in ,portland4 ,they
 knew of my past life and asked me to   
tell of some of my past experiences to  

the members of the ,women's ,christian  
,temperance ,union4 ,i had never had    
occasion to stand before any number of  
people to talk to them1 and ,i was very 
reluctant about accepting the           
invitation4 ,but it came to me that this
 was the opportunity to obtain my first 
experience1 and the few days ,i stayed  
there ,i talked to them twice4  ,after  
my return to ,portland1 and during the  
fall and winter1 ,i told my story to    
small crowds in the homes of some of the
 real ,protestant women4 ,then came     
#aiaf4 ,i began to talk upon invitation 
in the churches1 before lodges and in   
homes4 ,during the year ,i delivered my 
lectures one hundred and fourteen times 
in and about ,portland4 ,in the summer1 
,i had to decline many invitations1 as  
,i was too busy to fill the engagements4
  ,this is how ,i began my lecturing1   
not that ,i ever intended to do so when 
,i left the sisterhood1 but the ,roman  
,catholic system drove me to it1 and now
 ,i am thankful that it did1 for ,i can 

do more good telling my story than ,i   
ever could by being a ,sister of        
,charity in the ,roman ,catholic        
sisterhood1 or by being a nurse caring  
for the sick4 ,i love to aid the poor1  
suffering sick1 but ,i feel that there  
are many nurses better than ,i could    
ever be1 even with my experience1 but   
there are1 indeed1 very few who live    
thirty-one years in the sisterhood of   
the ,roman ,catholic ,church1 and live  
to leave it and tell their experiences4 
,,chapter ,,xvi4    ,,my ,,advertisement
 ,,in ,,the ,,catholic ,,sentinel4      
,during the spring and early summer of  
#aiaf1 an election campaign was on1 and 
the issue was very apparent4 ,the       
patriotic citizens were determined to   
elect ,american citizens to office who  
would uphold the ,american principles4  
,i was talking several times each week1 
and evidently something was hurting1 for
 the ,catholic ,sentinel1 published in  
,portland1 which is the mouthpiece of   
,archbishop ,christie1 printed a fine   

advertisement for me in its issue of    
,june #h1 #aiaf4 ,there has been many   
comments on some of my statements       
regarding the activities of the ,knights
 of ,columbus1 and this article from    
their own paper will substantiate what  
,i have said3       ,a4 ,p4 ,a4',s      
,,feature ,,escaped ,,nun       ,former 
,sister of ,charity ,appears on         
,anti-,catholic ,platform4              
,,bigotry ,,runs ,,wild                 
,protestant ,churches ,are ,placed at   
the ,disposal of ,miss      ,schoffen4  
,portland is a hotbed of religious      
bigotry4 ,while the rest of      the    
world is storming ,heaven for peace1 the
 patriots here are      doing everything
 in their power to stir up religious    
dissension4 ,to this end they are using 
,miss ,elizabeth ,schoffen1      a      
former nun4       ,this unfortunate     
woman was for #ca years a member of the 
,sisters      of ,charity of            
,providence4 ,for #ag years she was a   
nursing sister      in ,st4 ,vincent's  

,hospital here4 ,she left the order four
 years      ago as a protest against    
having been transferred from ,portland  
to ,vancouver against her will4 ,the    
order paid to her or her                
representatives a considerable sum of   
money in recognition of      her        
services4       ,some months back she   
went on the lecture platform1 billing   
herself as an ex-nun4 ,the public did   
not flock to hear her in      any great 
numbers4 ,her audiences consisted for   
the most part of      that undesirable  
element in this community who would     
revive      ,know-,nothingism and to    
whom that which is vulgar and salacious 
carries an appeal4       ,miss          
,schoffen1 more widely known as ,sister 
,lucretia1 is a      plain featured     
woman about #ee4 ,for the last few weeks
 she has      been delivering afternoon 
lectures for women only4 ,several       
,protestant ministers have extended to  
her the hospitality of      their       
churches4 ,among the churches in which  

she has spoken are      the ,first      
,methodist ,church1 the ,woodlawn       
,christian ,church1 the      ,sunnyside 
,methodist ,church1 the ,brentwood      
,methodist ,church and      the         
,sellwood ,christian ,church4 ,she was  
billed to speak at the      ,white      
,temple 7,baptist7 last ,tuesday        
afternoon to women only1      but the   
strong disapproval of the trustees of   
that church      resulted in the        
cancellation of her engagement4         
,miss ,schoffen is a studious           
disseminator of malicious               
inuendoes1 suggestions and hints4 ,she  
is careful to say nothing      that     
would render her liable to prosecution  
for criminal libel      or defamation of
 character4 ,she has much to say on the 
divided      allegiances of ,catholics1 
on the military activity of the         
,knights of ,columbus and on the deep1  
dark ,roman dungeons4 ,she      is no   
orator4 ,her discourse is full of       
inconsistencies and is      couched at  

times in the language of the gutter4    
,she adduces no      evidence in support
 of her insinuations and declines to    
answer      questions during or after   
the lecture4 ,the stage is well set4    
,the proceedings generally open with a  
prayer6 ,this is often      followed by 
the singing of ,america1 in which the   
audience      joins4 ,her manager then  
drapes the ,american flag over ,miss    
,schoffen's shoulder1 saying as he does 
so3 ,this is to show      that during   
her lecture ,miss ,schoffen is under the
 protection      of the ,stars and      
,stripes6 ,these words never fail to    
elicit      tremendous applause4        
444 ,her lectures have become so        
obnoxious that the ,knights of          
,columbus have decided to take action   
and to that end have      appointed the 
following committee3 ,j4 ,w4 ,kelly1 ,w4
 ,j4      ,prendergast1 ,roger ,b4      
,sinnot1 ,james ,clarkson1 ,j4 ,n4      
,casey1 ,d4      ,j4 ,malarkey1 ,m4 ,g4 
,munley1 ,r4 ,j4 ,o',neil1 ,joseph      

,jacobberger1 ,h4      ,v4 ,stahl1 ,john
 ,f4 ,daly4  ,i do not care to take     
space here to comment on this article at
 length2 there is a great deal of truth 
in it and then there is a great deal    
that is not true4 ,i will say that the  
time spoken of when the ,white ,temple  
turned me down1 there were about three  
thousand women that congregated to hear 
my message1 and ,i delivered it to them1
 but not in the ,white ,temple2 ,i hired
 an automobile and we went to the       
,plaza1 where ,i talked from the        
machine4 ,the above article speaks of   
the strong disapproval of the trustees  
of the church4 ,it took them quite a    
long time to give out the announcement1 
for the lecture had been advertised for 
two weeks4 ,any ,american can guess why 
this building was closed at the eleventh
 hour4  ,of course1 ,i am no orator4    
,how could ,i be after spending my life 
in the convents of the ,roman ,catholic 
system8 ,and1 if ,i talked in the       
language of the gutter1 where do you    

think ,i learned it8 ,surely it must    
have been learned in the parochial      
school1 the confessional or the convent4
  ,four of the eleven ,knights of       
,columbus appointed to take action      
against me were prominent lawyers of    
,portland1 and no doubt they worked     
overtime trying to hatch up some scheme 
to get me before the bar of justice4 ,if
 they for one moment thought that ,i    
could not prove what ,i was saying about
 the system ,i had lived so many years1 
why did they not call on me to produce  
my proof8  ,i have in my possession a   
letter from the wife of one of these    
noble knights1 which1 in part1 reads as 
follows3 ,i was not surprised when ,i   
heard that you had left the order4 ,the 
last time ,i was up there ,i asked for  
you and they told me you had been sent  
to ,canada4 ,i felt then it was the     
beginning of the end4 ,what led up to it
 all ,i do not know1 but ,i felt ,i must
 tell you that so far as we are         
concerned1 our sympathies are with you4 

,i know such a thing could not have come
 to pass without your having experienced
 much suffering and heartache4 ,and ,i  
want to tell you we are with you heart  
and soul4 ,of course1 you know our      
attitude toward them4 ,we have felt for 
a long time they are lacking in charity4
 ,we could not reconcile ourselves to   
their attitude towards the nurses4 ,mr4 
---- and ,sister ---- had a passage at  
arms the last time he was up there4 ,the
 old order of things was good1 but there
 seems to have crept in an element which
 has the money-making4 ,if you have     
time1 ,i should like to hear from you   
and something about the work you are    
doing4 ,i know one thing1 that it is    
effective4 ,we have never forgotten the 
service you rendered ,mr4 ----1 and ,i  
have always felt that you more than any 
other contributed to his recovery4      
,illustration3 ,a ,gift from ,god--,five
 ,years' ,growth4 7,photographed ,jan4  
#bi1 #aiag7  ,yes1 ,i did contribute to 
a great extent to this gentleman's      

recovery when his two physicians and the
 special nurse had abandoned all hope4  
,and from this letter it was apparent   
that he was pleased to hear that ,i had 
left the order4 ,then1 why such a       
radical change in the mind of such a    
highly educated man8 ,had some of the   
holy fathers been to see him and        
demanded1 and as a good knight he had to
 serve8 ,or1 was his name placed on the 
committee for show8 ,the latter is more 
probable4  ,i wish my readers to read   
the article very carefully and          
thoughtfully and then draw your own     
conclusions4 ,the fact remains that ,i  
was lecturing and the effects were      
hurting somebody4 ,these somebodies were
 busy in nearly every town where ,i     
would be billed to speak1 endeavoring1  
with their threats of boycott and with  
their committees appointed to wait on   
the city officials1 to close halls1 and 
to even keep me from entering the city4 
,what was evidently hurting them was the
 fact that ,i was telling the truth to  

their own adherents1 and in several of  
the small cities where ,i spoke1 some of
 them renounced the ,roman ,catholic    
faith2 others would take their children 
or some relative out of a ,roman        
,catholic orphanage or parochial school4
 ,an institution that cannot stand the  
light1 needs to have the light turned on
 it1 and that is just what ,i was trying
 to do4  ,it makes no particular        
difference whether ,i was drawing large 
crowds or not 7but ,i was drawing       
immense crowds71 whether ,i was using   
language of the gutter or not1 whether  
,i produced any evidence to prove my    
contentions or not1 whether the churches
 turned me down or not1 ,i was doing the
 work ,i had started out to do1 viz41   
tell the public of the treatment ,i had 
received while ,i was in the ,roman     
,catholic convent and the treatment ,i  
had received since ,i left the convent  
at the instigation of the ,roman        
,catholic system1 and1 thank ,god1 ,i   
found the people eager to listen to the 

truth4 ,it seems that the truth is the  
very worst thing that can be said about 
the ,roman ,catholic system4            
,,chapter ,,xvii4    ,,the ,,care ,,of  
,,old ,,sisters ,,by ,,the ,,roman      
,,catholic ,,system4   ,i cannot close  
this book without devoting a few lines  
to the care of the old sisters--those   
who have spent many years serving the   
,roman ,catholic ,church--who have      
passed their years of usefulness1 and   
then--  ,it would seem only natural and 
human1 that any institution after having
 received thirty1 forty or more years of
 free service from a human being1 would 
at least see to it that the person would
 spend their last few years of earthly  
existence in ease and comfort4 ,indeed1 
very few pass their years of usefulness 
in the ,roman ,catholic sisterhood--a   
great many dying in their twenties1 and 
more in their thirties4 ,and ,i might   
state right here that tuberculosis is a 
very common disease to take the sisters 
to a young grave4 ,probably forty to    

fifty per cent of the sisters ,i knew   
that died during my sisterhood life was 
caused by tuberculosis4 ,surely there   
must be some cause for this ravaging    
disease among this people4 ,it is the   
unnatural1 secluded life the girls are  
forced to live1 together with the lack  
of proper care when they are taken sick4
  ,that ,i might produce proof to       
substantiate what ,i say in regard to   
the care of the old sisters1 ,i wish to 
call to your particular attention one   
dear1 old lady ,i knew very well1 and   
who suffered untold agonies after giving
 the ,roman ,catholic ,church forty     
years' service1 according to her own    
letters4 ,i will print three of her     
letters written to a friend 7a          
,protestant7 in ,portland1 when this    
dear1 sainted old lady1 ,sister         
,gabriel1 was in ,vancouver1            
,washington4      ,vancouver1 ,wash41   
,aug4 #c;d1 #aija4      ,my dear 44443  
,these few lines are a secret for       
yourself4 ,will you please tell ,mother 

,theresa that ,i am not able for any    
more corrections4 ,i have lost my sleep 
and appetite altogether4 ,i had no care 
since ,i came ,february #ahth4 ,i was   
ordered back to ,vancouver to sit in a  
room alone and suffer as ,i had for six 
long years1 since they discharged me    
from teaching4 ,they kept me in this    
work thirty-six years--four years were  
spent at apothecary work in hospitals4  
,i have been kept idle altogether for   
six years4 ,now they seem pleased to see
 me loosing my memory4 ,dr4 4444 was    
called to see me ,monday4 ,he seemed to 
sympathize with me for having nothing to
 do4 ,the medicine the sister gave me   
made me vomit and a diarrhea that is    
killing me4 ,he said he had no time to  
call and see me a second time4          
7,signed7 ,,sr4 ,,gabriel4      ,house  
of ,providence1     ,vancouver1 ,wash41 
,nov4 #fth1 #aija4      ,my very dear   
friend3  ,i send you these few lines by 
our dear ,mother ,provincial1 who will  
try to meet you1 if not1 to send you the

 note4 ,i am suffering very much from   
the rectal ailment ever since that      
seasickness in ,september4 ,the         
protrusion is much larger4 ,the inside  
is getting sore1 and a slight hemorrage 
of slime and blood keeps me busy4 ,i do 
not know what to do any longer1 there is
 no one here who understands anything   
about this complaint4 ,i use glycerine  
suppositories and sweet oil1 etc4444    
,please write a prescription if you     
cannot come to see me1 and tell ,rev4   
,mother what kind of a tube to get4 ,i  
feel pretty well1 only a dizziness now  
and then4      ,your grateful friend1   
,,sister ,,gabriel4      ,house of      
,providence4     ,vancouver1 ,wash41    
,feb4 #d1 #aijb4      ,the dearest of my
 friends3  ,i should have written to    
wish you the many blessings of the new  
year ere this1 but ,i was not in the    
writing mood4 ,i hope you enjoy good    
health as a reward from the great ,god1 
and may ,he prolong your life many      
years--serving the poor sick4  ,i would 

give the world to see you1 but as that  
is impossible for a few weeks longer1 ,i
 will try to continue the prescription  
you gave me when you kindly came here to
 see me ,november #abth4 ,i prefer to do
 all the dressing myself as long as ,i  
am able1 but sometimes ,i cry out for   
relief in pain4 ,no one knows what a    
painful1 tedious disease it is1 and only
 those who have suffered themselves can 
appreciate a relief4  ,i fear the       
interior lining will become ulcerated1  
owing to constipation for several days4 
,then ,i take purgatives1 ,sedlitz      
powders1 clover-root tea or soda        
phosphate1 which causes a diarrhea that 
cannot be stopped for so long1 causing  
sleeplessness1 weakness and trembling4  
,will you please tell me what would be a
 good laxative to prevent all this      
trouble8 ,exterior applications have but
 very little effect4 444 ,do you think  
that ,i will ever get better8 ,every one
 tries his best to be relieved from     
pain4 ,i am pretty old now1 sixty-six   

years1 hoping at least not to become    
worse4  ,i dread more the affliction of 
becoming insane than any other ailment4 
,every little thing contrary to my way  
of thinking disturbs my mind and keeps  
me thinking for hours4 ,i thank ,god ,i 
have a taste for reading and will walk  
outside when the weather gets warm4 ,i  
will expect a few lines as soon as      
convenient4 ,you told me to let you know
 after a few weeks how ,i am1 so then   
you will excuse me for intruding on your
 precious time4  ,excuse my quill and   
old shaking hand4      ,your most       
grateful1      7,signed7 ,,sister       
,,gabriel4  ,just before these letters  
were written1 ,sister ,gabriel was at   
,st4 ,vincent's ,hospital for a short   
time4 ,one day as ,i was passing the    
bathroom1 ,i heard moans and cries for  
assistance1 and as ,i entered the       
bathroom ,i found her lying in the      
bathtub1 overcome from her sickness and 
unable to help herself4 ,i assisted her 
to her room and nursed her the best ,i  

could1 as ,i had no permission from my  
superior to wait on her4 ,many times ,i 
would talk to her1 as she was far more  
intelligent than the average sister4 ,as
 soon as ,mother ,theresa learned that  
,i was taking care of this sister1 and  
talking to her1 she forbade me to do so 
any further1 and ordered me to look for 
the letters she 7,sister ,gabriel7 was  
sending out4 ,sister ,gabriel remained  
at ,vancouver until about #aije1 and    
then she was ordered to the ,mother     
,house at ,montreal to sit alone the    
remaining few years of her life4 ,i know
 she did not want to make this move1 but
 she was forced to do so1 as she was    
getting to be a drudge to the community 
here4 ,sister ,gabriel had been a       
missionary to this part of the country1 
and she told me many times that she did 
not wish to go to ,canada1 but wanted to
 stay in this country among             
,english-speaking sisters to spend her  
old age4 ,but it was never so with a    
sister--it is not what they desire or   

wish for in their old age1 it is the    
desires of the ,roman ,catholic system1 
which has them bound1 tied and gagged by
 the vow of obedience4  ,treatment such 
as this was coming to me4 ,i had served 
them faithfully for thirty-one years and
 my health was beginning to break under 
the pressure of wrongs and the unnatural
 conditions4 ,when a sister gets in this
 condition1 they move her from mission  
to mission and very often send reports  
ahead of her1 that she is irreligious   
and has a bad spirit1 causing the other 
sisters to treat her with suspicion and 
contempt4 ,this is done until her heart 
is broken1 and the final result is a    
general break-down in health4 ,then she 
can go and sit alone in some secluded   
place for the remaining few years of    
life4 ,the strongest mind and body would
 break under the strain and worry and   
sorrow of such treatment as the ,roman  
,catholic system gives their old        
sisters4 ,had ,i remained with them1 no 
doubt now1 five years later1 ,i would be

 a physical and nervous wreck4  ,i will 
quote from another letter written by    
another sister to me shortly after my   
transfer to ,cranbrook3  444 ,when one  
has passed the three score mark the     
situation is1 to say the least1 not     
pleasant4 ,i can only say1 ',courage1   
dear ,sister ,lucretia1 a few more      
struggles and ,heaven will be ours4'    
,the above quotation was a friend's     
loving message to our dear saintly      
,sister ,mary ,precious ,blood but three
 weeks before her death4 ,she was ill   
but one week1 mental anguish filled many
 of her days and shortened her beautiful
 religious life4 ,sad1 but true1 that a 
fearful retribution follows every       
injustice4 ',revenge to me1' said the   
,lord4444 ,i know too well what it means
 to be in your plight1 to even hope you 
are not lonely4 ,time alone can dull the
 keenest of that sword's edge4 ,let your
 many1 many kind deeds comfort you4     
,those in favor of my poor self when    
cast on ,st4 ,vincent's charity1 as well

 as those to my deceased ,sister ,john1 
whose loving appreciation was with you  
to the end1 will never be forgotten4    
,strange how few such souls we meet in  
this vast world4444     ,,chapter       
,,xviii4    ,,conclusion4   ,my sister1 
,sister ,cassilda1 and myself           
corresponded with each other            
considerably after ,i left the          
sisterhood1 and ,i received many letters
 from her that are exemplary of the     
,roman ,catholic teaching4 ,i would like
 to quote from one of these letters     
here3      ,cranbrook1 ,b4 ,c41 ,june   
#bdth1 #aiae4      ,my very dear        
,sister3  ,your two kind letters1 ,may  
#bdth1 ,no4 #ac1 and the other ,june    
#afth1 ,no4 #ad1 have both been received
 with the greatest pleasure4 ,it is     
always a pleasure for me to hear from   
you and to know that you are well and   
getting on so nicely4 ,it does seem     
negligent1 dear ,sister1 for me to have 
delayed so long in writing1 and ,i beg  
your pardon for the sorrow ,i have      

caused you4 ,it was no ones fault1 you  
see ,i have been changed from ,new      
,westminster back to ,st4 ,eugene       
,mission4 ,i always intended to write as
 soon as ,i got settled1 time passed so 
quickly1 hence the cause of my delay4 ,i
 am very well and as happy as any one   
can be in this world4444  4444 ,i would 
no more let anyone say anything against 
the religion ,i have practiced all my   
life1 which was taught me by my own dear
 parents and which ,i love dearly4 ,i   
would rather die than go and put my     
parents and people below those ,bible   
preachers2 they better practice what is 
in the ,bible instead of talking about  
their neighbors4 ,my love for you1 my   
dear sister1 is the same as it ever was1
 nothing can ever change that1 but it   
grieves me to think that you have turned
 against our dear religion what you and 
,i were taught together in our infancy4 
,i surely would not compare ,bible      
reading with that4 ,i pray the ,lord to 
give me strength to be faithful to it   

all my life and not to be deceived by   
false prophets4 ,i have seen enough of  
the world to know which is right4       
,unfortunately there are many ,catholics
 that are not what they should be2 they 
will be responsible for themselves2 that
 does not change religion any4  ,now a  
little news about my mission4 ,it is    
about the same1 only we have a grand1   
new cement house1 with all the comforts 
possible1 and the government will build 
us new barns and stables1 and renew all 
the fences1 so it will be a swell place 
after that4444 ,hope to hear from you   
soon again1 love and good wishes for    
yourself and your friends4      ,your   
loving sister1     ,,sister ,,cassilda4 
,this letter shows how the sisters are  
duped about the ,protestant ministers   
and the preaching from the ,bible4 ,it  
also shows how strong they are held in  
the faith of the ,roman ,catholic       
church4 ,at the end of the letter you   
will notice that the government was     
building1 or helping to build1 the new  

institution at ,cranbrook4  ,the ,roman 
,catholic ,church1 from time to time1   
has broken away from the teaching of the
 ,bible1 and instituted practices1      
man-made and traditional4 ,the adherent 
of the ,roman ,catholic ,church accepts 
these teachings and practices because he
 believes1 as ,i did for so many years1 
that the word of the ,pope is ,god's    
word1 and whatever is dictated to the   
subject through the pope1 or his        
ecclesiastical representatives1 must be 
obeyed4 ,the reason he believes this1 is
 that he is not allowed to read and     
study the ,word of ,god4 ,when the      
priest talks about the ,bible1 that is  
sufficient for the laity4 ,in all my    
years of sisterhood life1 ,i never      
studied the ,bible1 and when ,i say ,i1 
,i wish it understood that ,i was no    
exception4  ,surely if ,christ intended 
that all these practices1 and           
institutions of graft1 should be        
necessary for the salvation of mankind1 
,he would have practiced some of them   

while ,he was here4  ,since the         
combining of paganism and ,christianity1
 forming the ,roman ,catholic ,church1  
here are some of the man-made practices 
and the time instituted3                
,a4 ,d4     ,invocation of saints       
#cge     ,the ,latin service            
#fjj     ,supremacy of the pope         
#fjf     ,worships of images and relics 
#ghg     ,transubstantiation            
#ajjj     ,infallibility of the ,church 
of ,rome       #ajgf     ,the sacrifice 
of the ,mass                 #aajj      
,sale of indulgences                    
#aaij     ,withholding the cup from the 
laity        #adae     ,purgatory       
#adci     ,restriction of the ,bible    
#aedf     ,seven ,sacraments            
#aedg     ,worship of the ,virgin ,mary 
#aefc     ,the creed of the pope added  
#aefd     ,the immaculate conception of 
,mary         #ahed     ,the            
infallibility of the pope               
#ahgj  ,i copy this table from          
ex-,priest ,p4 ,a4 ,seguin's book1 ,out 

of ,hell and ,purgatory1 and he asks1   
,how old is this popish combination8    
,and well might he ask it4 ,if the popes
 and cardinals continue to add to the   
creed of the ,roman ,catholic ,church in
 the next few centuries as they have in 
the past1 ,god help the poor people who 
continue in that faith1 for they must   
believe each and every one of the       
practices and innovations4  ,why the    
pope1 purgatory1 seven sacraments       
necessary for salvation1 worship of the 
,virgin ,mary1 the immaculate conception
 of ,mary1 worship of images and        
statues1 sale of indulgences1 etc48     
,yes1 there may be ,christianity in the 
,roman ,catholic teachings and          
practices1 but if you wish to find it   
you must search for it4  ,if the        
,christianity existed in the ,roman     
,catholic ,church that should be there1 
why is there so much rottenness         
connected with it8 ,whenever there is   
any scandal 7this is a great ,roman     
,catholic word7 in the ,protestant      

churches1 is it hidden and tried to be  
kept down8 ,verily1 no6 ,it is sifted   
through1 and the cause of the wrong is  
found and righted4 ,but ,archbishop     
,christie knew there were wrongs being  
perpetrated right here in ,portland1 and
 he knew ,i knew it1 but not once did he
 endeavor to right these wrongs4  ,read 
this letter he wrote me soon after ,i   
left the sisterhood4 ,in explaining this
 letter1 ,i will say that the letter he 
speaks of from ,mother ,wilfrid was sent
 to him by me at the time ,i sent my    
letters for redress1 and it was of such 
a nature that ,i do not understand how  
he could have forgotten it so easily2   
but1 doubtless1 he wished to keep it    
rather than to know that ,i had it4     
,portland1 ,oregon1 ,may #af1 #aiab4    
,dear ,sister3  ,i cannot remember      
having received a letter from ,mother   
,wilfrid4 ,you must have sent it to some
 other person and not to me4  ,i hope   
and pray you will do nothing what will  
cause any scandal4  ,asking ,god to     

bless and direct you1 ,i am sincerely in
 ,xto      ,x    ,a4 ,,christie4  ,if   
the ,roman ,catholic system would clean 
up from within1 there would be no need  
for the ecclesiastical authorities to   
hope and pray that any of the sisters   
who left any of their institutions would
 tell anything that would cause any     
scandal4  ,it was ever so1 dear reader1 
and it will always be4 ,the same        
rottenness will always exist in the     
,church of ,rome that has always        
existed4 ,it was because of this        
rottenness and corruption that          
practically all of the ex-priests have  
left ,romanism1 and because of the      
wrongs perpetrated that practically all 
of the ex-nuns have left4         99    
99       99       99       99  ,the     
conditions ,i have written about1 as ,i 
have lived them1 not only exist in the  
convents of the ,pacific ,northwest1 but
 in other ,roman ,catholic convents and 
monasteries1 as the teachings and       
practices here come from other convents 

and of necessity they must be the same4 
,like father1 like son4 ,there may be a 
few exceptions1 where there is convent  
inspection1 or some other law governing 
them1 but as a general thing they are as
 ,i have explained1 and in a great many1
 the practices are rigorous to the      
extreme4  ,so1 the great question       
arises1 ,how are we going to better     
conditions8 ,i could answer this        
question in a few words1 and it would be
 the most logical answer1 ,abolish all  
the convents and monasteries4           
,institutions of darkness and ignorance 
and evil are surely not necessary for   
the salvation of the souls of the women 
of this country1 or of any other        
country4 ,christ did not institute any  
such specifications when ,he was on     
earth1 or did ,he leave them in written 
form in ,his ,holy ,word4 ,the secluding
 of girls and women is a man-made       
institution1 and not for the saving of  
the souls of the poor girls1 but for the
 profit of their work to the church4 ,is

 this ,christianity8  ,how long will the
 ,american people be blind to this      
religious cloak for graft--school graft1
 hospital graft1 laundry graft1 and     
various other sweat-shop grafts8 ,it is 
very convenient for the owners of the   
profitable religious institutions to    
operate them with sister service without
 paying either the wages or taxes       
required by the owners of legitimate    
industries4 ,think how it must affect   
competition and the wages of free       
workers4  ,slavery of any degree is a   
curse to society as well as to the      
enslaved4 ,i beg every ,american to look
 into this question seriously before it 
is too late4 ,if you continue your      
sleepy indifference you may some day    
wake up to find that you have           
over-slept1 to find that your own flesh 
and blood are being tricked and         
exploited into these holy institutions4 
,under no condition should any          
institution1 private or public1 be      
permitted to immure girls and young     

women and keep them in servitude1 hidden
 from their parents and friends and     
denied the common justice due every     
citizen4 ,the laws of this country are  
made by the people and for the people1  
and therefore1 it is for the people of  
every state to see that there is a law  
on the statute books calling for the    
inspection of every institution where   
girls and women are incarcerated2 the   
doors opened1 that the truth may be     
obtained from every inmate and redress  
granted to all without intimidation4    
,as the convent system is now in vogue  
there is no redress1 as ,i have shown   
you1 nor is there any protection from   
the convent crimes1 as they are         
absolutely under the government of the  
,roman ,catholic hierarchy4 ,from behind
 the convent walls the heartbroken cries
 of the victims cannot be heard by the  
deceived world1 and therefore1 there is 
no appeal for justice4  ,open the doors 
of every convent and monastery and let  
the deluded victims return to the world 

and live useful lives if they so choose6
 ,let them be free to come and go at    
will1 like any other citizen1 and grant 
them the liberty guaranteed by the      
,constitution to all within our borders4
  ,for the nuns who desire to leave the 
convent system1 there should be in every
 state a home where they can work out   
their own salvation1 until such a time  
as they are prepared to make their own  
living4 ,such a home should be          
supervised in a manner to guarantee that
 the inmates will not be intimidated by 
the priests or other representatives of 
,rome4 ,convent work is all routine1 and
 from the very day a girl enters she    
becomes as a spoke in a wheel2 her      
thoughts1 judgment and body become an   
incorporate part of the written rule and
 customary observances of the system4   
,from long seclusion1 peculiar dress1   
separation from people and all civil    
society1 she becomes estranged to the   
habits and customs of the world4 ,on    
account of these conditions1 the sisters

 feel very sensitive and it makes them  
timid and shrink in embarrassment4 ,if  
it was not for these difficulties and   
barriers1 and perhaps humiliations1     
there are hundreds of sisters who would 
leave the convent system4 ,many of them 
stay1 not because they desire to do so1 
but because they do not know where to go
 or what to do if they leave4 ,i myself 
would have left many years before1 had  
,i known where to have gone or what to  
have done4  ,another thing every        
,american citizen should work for and   
see to1 is that no sectarian school or  
institution of any nature shall receive 
financial aid from the ,state4 ,we are  
blessed with one of the greatest and    
best public school systems in the world1
 and if they are not good enough for the
 people to send their children to1 then 
this is no country for such a person4   
,the taxpayer has enough to do without  
keeping up a school system for the      
purpose of teaching ,hail6 ,mary6 or the
 ,roman ,catholic catechism4 ,nor do we 

want sisters of the ,roman ,catholic    
sisterhood teaching in our public       
school1 attired in their religious garb4
 ,these sisters have taken the vow of   
poverty1 and yet draw their monthly     
salary from the ,state school fund4 ,who
 do you suppose gets this money8 ,surely
 not the poor sister6 ,it of necessity  
goes to the church4 ,in one county of   
this state of ,oregon we have seven     
sisters of the sisterhood of the ,roman 
,catholic church teaching in our public 
schools1 attired in their religious     
garbs4 ,this information comes direct   
from the county school superintendent's 
office4  ,take away the parochial       
schools and the ,roman ,catholic system 
could not long survive in this country1 
and1 as ,i have stated in the beginning 
of this book1 the ,roman ,catholic      
system would not even have the parochial
 schools if it were not for our public  
schools4 ,they must have some means of  
combating with the popular public       
education1 and to do so institute the   

parochial schools and demand of the good
 members of their parishes to send their
 children to them4  ,so1 it behooves us 
to have a law compelling every child    
between certain ages to attend the      
public school and to refuse further aid 
to sectarian schools4  ,theodore        
,roosevelt in his ,american ,ideals     
says3  444 ,we stand unalterably in     
favor of the public-school system in its
 entirety4 ,we believe that ,english1   
and no other language1 is that in which 
all the school exercises should be      
conducted4 ,we are against any division 
of the school fund1 and against any     
appropriation of public money for       
sectarian purposes4 ,we are against any 
recognition whatever by the state in any
 shape or form of state-aided parochial 
schools4  ,jeremiah ,j4 ,crowley says in
 his book1 ,the ,parochial ,school1 ,a  
,curse to the ,church1 ,a ,menace to the
 ,nation3  ,the ,catholic parochial     
school in the ,united ,states is not    
founded on loyalty to the ,republic1 and

 the ecclesiastics who control it would 
throttle1 if they could1 the liberties  
of the ,american people4  ,it is my     
profound conviction that the masses of  
the ,catholic people prefer the public  
schools1 and that they send their       
children to the parochial schools to    
avoid eternal punishment1 as their      
pastors preach from the pulpit1         
',catholic parents who send their       
children to the godless public schools  
are going straight to hell4'  ,again    
,mr4 ,crowley says3  ,catholic public   
school opponents declare that at least  
one-third of the ,american people favor 
their position4 ,i deny it4 ,i am       
morally certain that not five per cent  
of the ,catholic men of ,america endorse
 at heart the parochial school4 ,they   
may send their children to the parochial
 schools to keep peace in the family and
 to avoid an open rupture with the      
parish rector2 they may be induced to   
pass resolutions of approval of the     
parochial school in their lodges and    

conventions2 but if it ever becomes a   
matter of blood1 not one per cent of    
them will be found outside of the ranks 
of the defenders of the ,american public
 schools4  ,if a perfectly free ballot  
could be cast by the ,catholic men of   
,america for the perpetuity or          
suppression of the parochial school1 it 
would be suppressed by an astounding    
majority4  ,the above quotations were   
written by ,mr4 ,crowley while he was   
yet a priest in the church of ,rome1 and
 he evidently knew whereof he spoke4 ,i 
will comment no further1 as these       
remarks speak for themselves and very   
plainly4  ,before ,i close1 ,i wish to  
warn every ,protestant parent about     
sending their children to ,roman        
,catholic institutions for some special 
training which they claim to be superior
 in1 and at the same time raise them to 
be ,protestants4 ,the instructors in    
these institutions will promise that    
they will use no influence to change the
 child's religious belief1 but the      

sisters are bound by rule to convert    
every person to the ,roman ,catholic    
faith with whom she comes in contact1 if
 she possibly can4 ,if influence and    
coercion are not used1 the environment  
is there just the same4 ,many times     
since ,i have left the sisterhood1      
mothers have come to me in tears and    
grief and asked me to help them keep    
their daughters from joining the ,roman 
,catholic church or sisterhood4 ,they   
would tell me that when they had placed 
their children in these institutions1   
the sisters had told them that no       
influence would be used to change their 
religious faith4 ,maybe not1 but if such
 a person does not accede to the demands
 of those in charge and go to mass and  
say the prayers of a ,roman ,catholic1  
conditions are made very disagreeable   
for them and they soon learn that it is 
best for them to go through the         
performance1 even though they do not    
believe it4 ,then1 as time goes on1     
these practices become imbedded in their

 hearts and minds1 until at last they   
become hypnotized1 so to speak1 by the  
superstitious teaching and practices of 
the ,roman ,catholic religion4  ,in this
 small volume ,i have told of the       
practices and teachings of the ,roman   
,catholic church and convent as ,i have 
lived them4 ,i am sometimes asked if ,i 
can prove this or that4 ,if any of you1 
dear readers1 will live these things as 
,i have lived them they will be         
realistic enough to you4 ,god's ,word   
says1 ,ye shall know the truth and the  
truth shall make you free4  ,i may have 
written with prejudice1 and ,i ask ,god 
to prejudice me against all wrong that  
,i may live to do ,his work and glorify 
,him4 ,he knows that ,i hold no         
ill-feeling against any ,roman ,catholic
 individual--laity1 sister1 priest or   
archbishop4 ,but the system they        
represent--the system that ,i have      
served so faithfully for so many        
years--,i have no sympathy for4         
,whatever a sister1 priest or archbishop

 may be1 the system has made them4 ,i   
only hope and pray that they will all   
see the light and come out of their     
superstition and live the religious life
 they entered the ,roman ,catholic      
church to live4 ,god's ,word says1 ,come
 out of her1 my people1 that ye be not  
partakers of her sins1 and that ye      
receive not of her plagues4  ,in the    
last lines of this book1 ,i wish to     
plead with each and every ,american to  
stand for the right1 and do not be      
afraid to show your colors4 ,stand for  
the true ,american principles2 stand by 
that ,wonder of ,wonders1 the           
,menace--which has been a ,martin       
,luther in print2 and above all1 stand  
together4 ,unite--for without union     
there is no strength4 ,follow the ,roman
 ,catholic system in this respect4 ,and 
when the patriotic men and women do     
unite on one common ground and for the  
one cause--love of ,god1 freedom and    
country--there need be no fear of a     
second ,st4 ,bartholemew's ,day2 there  

need be no fear of a repetition of the  
terrible ,inquisition of ,spain2 there  
need be no fear of internal strife as   
poor1 blood-drenched ,mexico is         
experiencing today4  ,all ,i ask is for 
you to think on the few thoughts ,i have
 endeavored to give you in plain words1 
and to take the warning as coming from  
one who lived for thirty-one years4     
,,the ,,demands ,,of ,,rome      ,yes1 a
 church without a ,bible       ,is like 
a ship without a sail1     ,trying to   
withstand the tempest       ,in some    
fearful1 howling gale2     ,yes1 a      
church without a ,bible       ,is like a
 general in the fight1     ,who is      
trying empty-handed       ,to put       
enemies to flight4      ,it will surely 
be defeated2       ,foes without and    
foes within     ,drag it onward1        
downward1 plunging       ,in a deep     
abyss of sin4     ,in the ,bible is many
 a remedy2       ,if 'twas hidden in its
 heart1     ,it from pagan rules and    
customs       ,would forevermore depart4

     ,,appendix4   ,i hesitate to add   
this appendix1 for ,i have copied a     
great many documents and letters in the 
preceding chapters4 ,but this case1     
which ,i will present to you1 will be   
additional proof that the same wrongs   
which ,i tried to right1 existed years  
before and that there was no redress4   
,sister ,paul of the ,sacred ,heart     
presented her complaint to her local    
superiors1 but was utterly ignored4 ,she
 next addressed herself to ,archbishop  
,paul ,bruchasie of ,montreal1 who was  
her ecclesiastical superior4 ,archbishop
 ,bruchasie answered her1 saying that it
 was none of her affairs to be busying  
herself about these matters and that it 
would be better for her if she would say
 her prayers1 be an humble and obedient 
religious4 ,that looking after the      
affairs of the community was her        
superior's business and that ,god would 
punish her for her presumption and      
pride4  ,she then addressed herself to  
the ,roman ,apostolic ,delegate at      

,washington1 ,d4 ,c41 the following     
being a copy of her statement in behalf 
of the sisters of this country3  ,i1    
,sister ,paul of the ,sacred ,heart1 a  
member of the ,order of the ,daughters  
of ,charity1 ,servants of the ,poor1    
most respectfully submit the following  
articles to the proper ,ecclesiastical  
,authorities--,subject of ,complaint1   
involving a right to demand justice by  
the members of the ,order who are not   
,french or ,french ,canadian4 ,all      
members of the ,order who are not       
,french or ,french ,canadian are slaves4
 ,to prove the above assertion1 ,i will 
state facts as follows3  #a4 ,all the   
higher officers of the ,order such as   
,superior ,general1 ,councillors        
,general1 ,provincial ,superior and     
,councillors1 have always1 with the     
exception of one ,german ,provincial1   
been ,french ,canadian ,sisters4  #b4   
,when rights have been called for1 only 
one provincial councillor was given in  
the province1 which is manifestly of    

little practical utility1 she being one 
among five1 four of which being         
,canadian4  ,at the last general        
chapter1 one assistant general was      
elected1 and this only through the      
interposition of the ,archbishop of     
,montreal4 ,as she was the one who had  
filled the office of provincial         
councillor in the province of the       
,sacred ,heart1 her place in that       
council was left vacant1 and it was     
immediately filled by a ,canadian       
sister4  #c4 ,the opening clause of ,no4
 #bjj of our constitution1 and all sense
 of justice1 are flagrantly and         
officially violated1 not only in the    
ways above mentioned1 but we are not    
even permitted to have a sufficient     
number of representatives in the general
 chapter1 no1 nor even one4 ,and thus   
superiors are thrust upon us without our
 consent--and laws of which we had no   
voice in the making4  ,no4 #bjj of our  
constitution reads thus3 ,the spirit of 
nationality must be banished as the most

 dangerous enemy of an institution      
created to serve the church in all      
countries of the earth1 without         
distinction of people or language1 etc4 
#d4 ,when it was known by the ,superior 
,general and her council that complaints
 had been made to ,ecclesiastical       
,superiors1 a member and representative 
of the ,general ,council was sent to the
 ,western provinces1 and she used her   
utmost endeavors in our provincial house
 to make the sisters afraid to address  
complaints to the ecclesiastical        
superiors4  #e4 ,novices of all other   
nationalities are received into all the 
novitiates1 who1 of course1 do not      
realize until after the last vows1 that 
they are to be treated as subordinates  
in the order4 ,thus we occupy a position
 inferior to that of the coadjutrix     
sister1 for they are admitted only on   
condition of being subject to the vocal 
nuns1 and consent to this condition and 
therefore are not slaves4  #f4 ,is it   
not a public insult to the sisters of   

this country1 that only ,french sisters 
are constantly kept in offices which    
have relation with seculars8 ,and this  
enhanced by the fact that ,french       
sisters are1 as a rule1 not suitable to 
govern an ,english-speaking province1 as
 they neither understand the ways of the
 people nor even of the sisters not     
,french1 nor conduct matters in a manner
 to do them good1 not to speak of their 
imperfect knowledge of the language1 and
 that sisters of a rude and inferior    
character are often placed in relation  
with outsiders4  #g4 ,sisters who are   
not ,french have been treated with the  
least consideration1 either as to their 
health 7and this even sometimes to the  
extreme71 or to their human feelings4   
,and the schools1 which are of necessity
 taught by ,english-speaking sisters1   
have been much neglected by the         
,canadian superiors as to equipment4    
,the only reason for this injustice that
 could be alleged is that there are no  
,english-speaking sisters competent to  

fill the offices4 ,but this would be    
false and absurd1 for from the time of  
our ,foundresses1 there have always been
 some of these who were able to fill    
high offices and conduct the business of
 the order1 and at present ,i could     
mention many who are able for anything  
that might be asked for them4  ,as for  
the spirit of the ,order1 is it not     
possessed far more fully by those who   
have patiently and faithfully toiled    
during long years under an unjust       
administration1 rather than those who   
officially and persistently carry on    
matters in a spirit of nationality8     
,therefore1 in the name of justice1 in  
the name of all of our professed sisters
 who are afraid to complain to          
,ecclesiastical ,superiors1 in the name 
of those who are too young to realize   
the position thrust upon them1 in the   
name of future members of the ,order1   
and in my name1 ,i most respectfully ask
 and demand of the proper               
,ecclesiastical ,authority to arrange   

these matters in the spirit of religion 
and justice4  ,as a simple command given
 in writing or by word of mouth1 or even
 inserted in the ,customary would have  
no other than temporary effect1 ,i shall
 consider my petition granted only when 
there will be inserted in the           
constitution an explicit and emphatic   
rule that will give us our own rights   
and forever prohibit all such injustice 
and tyranny4  ,it seems to me that in   
all conscience it has been borne too    
long and that after fifty years of      
endurance we should have our rights as  
soon as possible4  ,i feel confident    
that the wise and holy rulers of the    
,church will as soon as possible act in 
accordance with these principles4       
,reverently1 and with profound respect1 
,i sign myself an humble and obedient   
child of the ,church      ,,sister      
,,paul ,,of ,,the ,,sacred ,,heart4  ,as
 soon as it was reported at the various 
houses of the order that ,sister ,paul  
was endeavoring to obtain the enactment 

of rules for the equal recognition of   
all sisters1 the local superior of one  
of these houses wrote a letter          
containing a petition to the ,mother    
,house1 asking them not to recognize the
 appeal of ,sister ,paul for justice4   
,this letter and petition was sent from 
house to house1 obtaining all the       
signatures possible4 ,several sisters   
told me that they were requested to sign
 the petition without being allowed to  
read the contents4  ,the following is a 
copy of the letter and petition written 
by ,sister ,m4 ,alexander3              
,providence ,hospital1 ,everett1 ,wash41
 ,january #i1 #aije4       ,my very dear
 ,sister3       ,you are no doubt aware 
that for some time past our poor1       
misguided ,sister ,paul of the ,sacred  
,heart has been trying to      create   
disunion and dissatisfaction in the     
,community1      particularly among     
those who are not ,french or of         
,canadian      birth4 ,she has gone so  
far as to write to the higher           

ecclesiastical authority to obtain      
redress for fancied wrongs      which   
have no existence save in her disordered
 imagination4       ,she has used our   
names without our knowledge or consent  
to give      color and strength to her  
assertions4 ,therefore in justice to    
ourselves1 personally and collectively1 
it is high time for us      to act in a 
way so dignified1 vigorous and religious
 that our      loyalty and unswerving   
fidelity to our beloved community may   
never be questioned2 and that this      
testimonial of our devotion      to the 
government1 customs and usages of the   
order to which we      have the         
happiness of belonging1 may be placed on
 the record in      the archives of the 
,mother ,house and of the ,provincial   
,house as      an undeniable proof that 
we forever abhor any act or word or     
deed contrary to the spirit of our      
cherished ,mother ,house or      its    
past or present or future government4   
,therefore1 let each      ,american     

,sister 7,member7 sign the accompanying 
document1 act of      submission1 freely
 and willingly according to the dictates
 of      her conscience4 ,let the       
document be transmitted in regular      
order to all the houses of the ,province
 and then forwarded to      our worthy  
,mother ,provincial that she may have   
the satisfaction      of conveying to   
our esteemed ,mother ,general this      
undying proof      of our filial        
devotion and everlasting attachment4    
,document--,we1 the undersigned1 do     
hereby certify that the      action of  
,sister ,paul of the ,sacred ,heart     
against the      ,community1 and that   
her assertions that the constitutions   
are      officially violated in the     
absence of ,american members from the   
general and provincial councils is      
condemned by us4 ,we denounce      any  
act by which she threatens division on  
the ground of      nationality4 ,we     
declare our refusal to take part in any 
act      against the government of the  

community4 ,we further pledge           
allegiance and loyalty to our community 
and superiors in office      and        
recognize their authority as eminating  
from ,god4       ,,sister ,m4           
,,alexander4  ,answer of ,sister ,paul  
to the document circulated by ,sister   
,m4 ,alexander3       ,i1 ,sister ,paul 
of the ,sacred ,heart1 positively       
declare that ,i      never tried to     
create disunion in the community1 nor   
have ,i      ever either taken any      
action against the community or         
endeavored to incite any other ,sister  
to do so4 ,neither have ,i              
advocated division or rebellion1 but    
have spoken against both      these4    
,nor have ,i sent the names of the      
sisters to higher      ecclesiastical   
superiors4       ,all that ,i have done 
towards ameliorating existing conditions
      is the following3 ,i have written 
to higher ecclesiastical                
authorities and spoken to them1 as ,i   
have a perfect right to do      and     

shall do so again if ,i feel such to be 
my duty4       ,i also advised other    
sisters to address ecclesiastical       
superiors concerning what other sisters 
of sound mind1 as well      as myself1  
considered to be an injustice4 ,these   
matters are      public1 and we have a  
right to speak of them4                 
,furthermore1 ,i have spoken only to    
sisters who have spent some      years  
in the ,order2 while the slandering     
paper dated ,everett1      ,january #i1 
#aije1 which was sent to the ,american  
sisters of this      province for them  
to sign1 was given into the hands of    
very      young sisters4       ,i       
declare that paper to be a libel against
 my character1 as is      easily        
perceived on reading it together with   
what ,i have      written above4        
,i therefore demand1 in justice to      
myself1 that a copy of this      present
 writing be pasted below the writing of 
each of the two      copies of the paper
 circulated for the ,american sisters of

 the      ,province to sign1 which are  
kept respectively in the archives       
of the ,mother ,house in ,montreal and  
in those of the ,provincial      ,house 
in ,vancouver4       ,i also declare1   
that until my reputation shall be fully 
cleared      from the false accusations 
contained in that paper1 ,i shall       
consider myself as living under the     
unjust action or sanction      of the   
responsible superiors4      ,house of   
,providence1     ,vancouver1 ,wash41    
,dec4 #adth1 #aijf4  ,the result3       
,sister ,alexander was made superior and
 was elevated to the very best houses of
 the order1 among them ,st4 ,vincent's  
,hospital1 ,portland1 ,oregon4 ,this is 
the same ,sister ,alexander who was     
superior when ,i was taken out of ,st4  
,vincent's4  ,sister ,paul was sent to  
the ,mother ,house in ,montreal1        
,canada1 to while away her time         
translating ,french into ,english4