,,successward  ,illustration3 image of  
the book's cover     ,,successward  ,a  
,,young ,,man',s ,,book ,,for ,,young   
,,men  ,,by  ,,edward ,w4 ,,bok         
,illustration  ,,fleming ,h4 ,,revell   
,,company  ,,new ,,york ,,chicago       
,,toronto  #ahie  ,copyright1 #ahie1  by
  ,,fleming ,h4 ,,revell ,,company4     
,,to  ,,clarence ,,cary1  ,,my ,,adviser
 ,,and ,,my ,,friend1 ,,when ,,advisers 
,i ,,had ,,none ,,and ,,friends  ,,were 
,,few1  ,i ,,inscribe ,,this1 ,,my      
,,first ,,book4     ,a ,,few ,,prefatory
 ,,words   ,the average young man is apt
 to think that success is not for him4  
,to his mind it is a gift to the few1   
not to the many4 ,the rich1 the         
fortunate--they are the only people who 
can be successful1 is the way one young 
fellow recently expressed it to me1 and 
he thought as many do4 ,it is this wrong
 conception of success which this book  
aims to remove4 ,it has no other purpose
 save to show that success--and the     
truest and best success--is possible to 

any young man of honorable motives4 ,the
 subject is not new1 ,i know4 ,all that 
is hoped for from this book is that it  
may have for young men a certain sense  
of nearness to their own lives and      
thoughts1 from the fact that it is not  
written by a patriarch whose young      
manhood is far behind him4 ,it is       
written to young men by a young man to  
whom the noise of the battle is not a   
recollection1 but an every-day living   
reality4 ,he thinks he knows what a     
fight for success means to a young      
fellow1 and he writes with the smoke of 
the battle around him and from the very 
thick of the fight4  ,e4 ,w4 ,b4        
,,philadelphia1 #ahie4     ,,contents   
,i                                      
,,page  ,a ,,correct ,,knowledge ,,of   
,,himself           #aa  ,,ii  ,,what1  
,,really1 ,,is ,,success8               
#bc  ,,iii  ,,the ,,young ,,man ,,in    
,,business                #cc  ,,iv     
,,his ,,social ,,life ,,and ,,amusements
           #fi  ,v  ,,sowing ,,his      

,,wild ,,oats                   #ig     
,,vi  ,,in ,,matters ,,of ,,dress       
#aji  ,,vii  ,,his ,,religious ,,life   
#aai  ,,viii  ,,his ,,attitude ,,toward 
,,women               #acg  ,,ix  ,,the 
,,question ,,of ,,marriage              
#aea      ,,successward     ,i  ,a      
,,correct ,,knowledge ,,of ,,himself    
,the first1 the most essential1 and the 
greatest element of success with a young
 man starting out to make a career is a 
correct knowledge of himself4 ,he       
should1 before he attempts anything1    
understand himself4 ,he should study    
himself4 ,he should be sure that1 no    
matter whom else he may misunderstand1  
he has a correct knowledge of his own   
nature1 his own character1 and his own  
capabilities4 ,and it is because so few 
young men have this knowledge of self   
that so many make disastrous failures1  
or fail in achieving what they set out  
for themselves at the beginning4  ,every
 man in this world is created           
differently2 no two are alike4          

,therefore1 the nature1 the thoughts1   
the character1 the capacity of one man  
is utterly unlike that of another4 ,what
 one man can understand another cannot4 
,the success of one man indicates       
nothing to a second man4 ,what one is   
capable of doing is beyond the power of 
another4 ,hence it is important that1   
first of all1 a young man should look   
into himself1 find out what has been    
given him1 and come to a clear          
understanding of what he can do and what
 he cannot do4  ,it is one of the most  
pitiable sights imaginable to see1 as   
one does so constantly1 young men       
floundering and fluttering from one     
phase of life to another1 unable to     
fasten upon any one1 simply because a   
knowledge of themselves is absent4 ,the 
result is that we see so many round men 
trying to fit themselves into square    
holes4  ,but1 some one will say1 as     
asked a young fellow recently1 how in   
the world do you get at an understanding
 of yourself8 ,how do you go about it8  

,no definite answer can be given to the 
question1 any more than can a certain   
rule be laid down4 ,an understanding of 
one's self is reached by different      
methods by different people1 generally  
each method being personal to one's     
self4 ,but this much can be said3 every 
thought1 every taste1 every action1     
reveals ourselves to ourselves1 and it  
is in the expression of these that we   
best learn our natures and our          
characters4 ,we see ourselves with      
unmistakable accuracy1 for example1 in  
what we most enjoy in reading1 in the   
people whose company pleases us most1 in
 the things that interest us2 and where 
our tastes and interest lead us we are  
generally truest to ourselves4  ,some   
writer has said that most people find   
themselves out best while they are at   
play1 upon the basis that a man shows   
his real side in the pleasures which he 
seeks and enjoys4 ,this is true in a    
large measure4 ,and the character of his
 pleasures will have both an indirect   

and a direct bearing upon the more      
practical side of his nature4 ,if a     
young man visits an art gallery1 for    
example1 and finds that the pleasure he 
derives from the pictures takes the form
 of recreation to the mind1 that he is  
delighted and interested in the canvases
 he sees so long as he is before them1  
but feels simply refreshed after he     
leaves the gallery1 it is plain that his
 nature is not one suited to art as a   
vocation4 ,he employs the picture as a  
means of recreation from some other     
study which has engrossed him most4 ,if1
 on the other hand1 his instincts lead  
him to an art gallery1 and he studies   
rather than enjoys the pictures that he 
sees1 is curious as to the methods of   
the artist1 and goes away with his mind 
charged with the intention of getting   
further knowledge of what he has seen   
from books or other authorities1 it is  
natural to assume that the art instinct 
is within him1 and he should give it the
 fullest chance of development4 ,but he 

should in every way feel1 realize1 and  
know that a love of art possesses him   
before he adopts it as a profession4    
,and thus1 in a way1 a young man has an 
opportunity to study himself through his
 pleasures4  ,if1 as a further example1 
a young man finds himself seeking the   
company of men older than himself1 men  
of affairs of the world1 is happiest    
when he can be in their company and hear
 them talk of business1 chooses the     
reading of the lives of successful men  
as his literature1 and leans toward the 
practical side of life1 finding more    
real enjoyment amid the bustle of the   
mart than in the quiet of lane or park1 
the indications are that his nature     
points him to a business career rather  
than to a professional calling4 ,if he  
feels this way1 it is well for him to   
give his developing tastes full play1   
and follow where his instincts lead him4
 ,after a while what was at first a mere
 instinct or an unformed taste will     
develop and point him to something      

definite in the business world1 and if  
he be true to himself he will sooner or 
later find himself in that particular   
position which he is best fitted to     
occupy and fill4 ,his capacities will   
reveal themselves to him1 and they will 
teach him his limitations4 ,this        
knowledge need not thwart his ambitions1
 but ,i believe that ambition should    
always be just a trifle behind judgment1
 if possible1 or1 at all events1 not in 
advance of it4 ,ambition is a splendid  
quality if properly guided and kept     
within check2 it is a fatal possession  
when it is allowed too full development 
or sway4 ,like fire or water1 it is a   
capital servant1 but it makes a poor    
master4  ,i do not counsel1 nor do ,i   
believe in1 a blind following of one's  
self1 particularly during the formative 
years of life4 ,but ,i do believe most  
earnestly that every man is given a     
certain thing to do in the world1 and   
that1 by a proper study of himself1 he1 
and he alone1 can arrive at the clearest

 and surest knowledge of that particular
 object4 ,i am a firm believer in the   
molding of character through the        
influence of another2 but my conviction 
is equally strong that every man is the 
architect of his own fortune1 and that  
his truest course in life is to follow  
not the guidance of another1 but his own
 instincts4 ,in other words1 ,i think   
young men should1 as early in life as   
possible1 get into touch with the idea  
of their own responsibility1 and be     
taught the great lesson that1 however   
well others may advise1 they1 and they  
alone1 must carve out their own careers4
 ,the most successful careers1 the most 
honorable lives in the history of the   
world are those which have been shaped  
by their own hands4 ,there is an element
 of danger in this1 of course1 but the  
element is small in comparison with the 
greater danger which lies in the        
foundation of a character against one's 
own instincts4  ,the aspirations of the 
young are not to be checked by the      

experience of the old4 ,no matter how   
rich or full a man's experience may have
 been1 it counts only in a sense of     
general application to another career   
which stands upon its threshold4 ,years 
should teach wisdom2 but if we all      
waited for years to bring us wisdom1    
this world would be a sorry place to    
live in4 ,youthful imaginings may lead  
to mistakes1 youthful enthusiasm may    
encounter disappointment1 but only      
experience1 real and actual1 can        
demonstrate these things to a young man4
 ,and the experience is good for him if 
it teaches him a better and truer       
knowledge of himself and his capacities4
 ,the greatest figures in the world's   
history show that they were made through
 experience1 and what experience taught 
them4 ,this is not saying that the young
 have no use for the old4 ,they have4   
,but the rule should be1 ,young men for 
action1 old men for counsel4 ,experience
 looks backward2 enthusiasm looks       
forward4 ,and1 as between the two1      

enthusiasm is worth more than           
experience1 since it is the former which
 is brave and strong and attempts the   
impossible4 ,if we attempted only the   
possible in this world we should soon   
stop where we are2 it is for the young  
man1 with his enthusiasm1 to battle with
 the impossible and carry the world a   
step farther on in discovery1 if not in 
actual accomplishment4  ,i say all this 
because ,i want every young fellow to   
feel that1 to a large extent1 he stands 
alone for himself in the world4 ,counsel
 he may seek and he should seek1 but the
 action is his1 and his alone4 ,and to  
make that action sure and wise it is    
necessary that the workman should       
understand his tools4 ,he must know with
 what he has to work2 and once sure of  
his tools1 he must learn the thing he   
has set for himself to do1 having a     
distinct purpose in view1 and1 being    
fully conscious that he is right and    
capable1 not allowing himself to be     
swerved from his aim4 ,after acquiring  

true knowledge of himself1 ,i know of   
nothing so valuable to a young man as an
 absolute distinctness of purpose1 and  
then pursuing that purpose to success4  
,in natural sequence comes1 therefore1  
the question of ,what1 really1 is       
success8     ,,ii  ,,what1 ,,really1    
,,is ,,success8   ,before a young man   
goes into business it is necessary1 ,i  
think1 that he should set himself       
straight on one very important point1   
and that is what success in business    
really is and means4 ,unfortunately1 not
 enough has been written on this phase  
of the topic4 ,it is idle for a young   
man to seek out the methods of success  
before he is really clear in his mind   
just what constitutes success--until1 in
 other words1 he finds out the true     
definition of the word4 ,and very few of
 us have a proper and correct conception
 of it4 ,on the other hand1 thousands of
 us have the wrong notion4  ,in this age
 of big things1 particularly1 we are    
inclined to regard success as synonymous

 only with the higher walks of life1    
with great achievements4 ,success1 in   
the minds of some1 is something which is
 only given for the fortunate to        
achieve4 ,or we think that if we cannot 
do something which sets people talking  
or wondering about us1 if our heads do  
not tower above those of our            
fellow-beings1 our lives1 if not        
altogether negative1 are still not      
successful4 ,in other words1 we feel    
that a successful life is the doing of  
something momentous2 the becoming known 
of all men and women2 the being         
exceptional to the rest of the human    
race4 ,ask ten people their idea of     
success1 and ,i warrant that eight will 
give a definition of it along these     
lines4 ,and yet1 when we look at the    
matter closely and study it carefully1  
scarcely a more incorrect interpretation
 of a successful life can be imagined4  
,along this line of thought1 not one    
person in ten thousand lives a          
successful life1 since statistics have  

informed us that it is only this        
percentage of the human race that is    
ever heard of outside of its immediate  
circle of relatives and friends4  ,it is
 given to very few of us to say         
something or perform some action which  
will be heard of by the world4 ,the     
greater part of the human race dies as  
it is born1 unknown and unheard of by   
the world at large4 ,where you find one 
leader among men or women you will find 
a thousand who prefer to follow4 ,the   
instinct of leadership is rare--rare    
even in these developing days4 ,hence1  
if success depended upon aggressive     
instinct1 its votaries would be few4    
,success is as ofttimes quietly won4 ,i 
think that young men are oftener misled 
by wrong notions of what constitutes    
success than by how to achieve success  
as they understand it4  ,the average    
young man's idea of success is like unto
 that of people of older growth1 as ,i  
hinted in a preceding paragraph--it     
means the accomplishment of something   

great4 ,he cannot understand that a     
successful life is just as possible in  
an obscure position as it is in a       
conspicuous one4 ,it does not seem plain
 to him that a clerk earning five       
hundred dollars per year can make just  
as pronounced a success of his life as  
can his employer1 whose income is ten   
thousand dollars1 or even one hundred   
thousand dollars1 per year4 ,he is apt  
to measure success by dollars1 and here 
is the rock upon which so many young men
 split4 ,to be a successful subject is  
as great an achievement for the subject 
as being a successful ruler is          
creditable to the ruler4 ,every man born
 into the world has his limitations1 and
 beyond that line it is simply          
impossible for him to go4 ,all of us    
know men capable of splendid work so    
long as they are under direction1 but   
who have either made or would make      
absolute failures as directors4 ,other  
men chafe under direction2 they must be 
leaders4 ,but success is as possible    

with the one as with the other4  ,the   
correct definition of success is the    
favorable termination of anything       
attempted--a termination1 in other      
words1 which answers the purpose        
intended4 ,the writing of a business    
letter can be made just as great a      
success as can be the drafting of a     
presidential proclamation4 ,success     
never depends upon conspicuity1 and it  
never will4 ,if we accepted as the      
successful men of the time only those   
who are in conspicuous places and of    
whom we know1 we should narrow success  
down to a very few4 ,great successes    
have been made as often in quiet ways as
 with the blare of trumpets4 ,a         
commercial success won on conservative  
lines1 and maintained by cautious and   
prudent methods1 is the success most    
highly regarded in the business world   
to-day4 ,the meteoric commercial flash1 
so admired by the average young man1    
seldom has a firm foundation1 and rarely
 commands the confidence of experienced 

business men4 ,the truest success is    
that which is earned slowly1 but which  
surely strengthens itself4 ,ostentation 
is never typical of a true success4 ,it 
is always a good thing to remember that 
the vast majority of successful men are 
never heard of4 ,it is very important1  
therefore1 that the first thing for a   
young man going into business to learn  
is to disassociate success from the more
 prominent walks in life1 and get rid of
 that false theory4 ,when he does that1 
successful living will have a deeper1   
fuller1 and truer meaning for him4 ,it  
will have for him then its correct      
meaning3 that success is possible in    
every position1 and can be made the     
possession of the humblest as well as   
the most powerful4  ,a successful life  
is nothing more nor less than living as 
well as we know how and doing the very  
best that we can4 ,and upon that basis1 
which is the only true basis1 naturally 
no success can be measured by fame1     
wealth1 or station4 ,some of us must    

live for the few1 as others again must  
live for the many1 just as some are born
 to occupy important positions while    
others are intended for humbler places4 
,but both lives are successful4  ,let a 
young man be thoroughly fitted for the  
business position he occupies1 alert to 
every opportunity1 and embracing it to  
its fullest possibility1 with his       
methods fixed on honorable principles1  
and he is a successful man4 ,it does not
 matter whether he makes a thousand     
dollars or a hundred thousand dollars4  
,he makes a success of his position4 ,he
 carries to a successful termination    
that which it has been given him to do1 
be that great or small4 ,if the work he 
does1 and does well1 is up to his       
limitations1 he is a success4 ,if he    
does not work up to his capacity1 then  
he fails1 just as he fails1 too1 if he  
attempts to go beyond his mental or     
physical limit4 ,there is just as much  
danger on one side of man's limit-line  
as there is on the other4 ,the very     

realization of one's capacity is a sign 
of success4 ,it is an old saying that it
 is a wise man who knows when he has    
enough1 and it is a successful man who  
never goes beyond his depth in business4
 ,this is a truth which requires        
experience to see1 perhaps1 but it is a 
lesson which ,success demands that her  
votaries shall learn1 and learn well4   
,success is simply doing anything to the
 utmost of one's ability--making as much
 of one's position as it is possible to 
make4     ,,iii  ,,the ,,young ,,man    
,,in ,,business   ,every one conversant 
with the business life of any of our    
cities1 large or small1 will1 ,i am     
sure1 agree with me that more business  
opportunities exist to-day than there   
are young men capable of embracing them1
 and that the demand is far in excess of
 the supply4 ,positions of trust are    
constantly going begging for the right  
kind of young men to fill them4 ,but the
 material does not exist1 or1 if it     
does1 it certainly has a most           

unfortunate way of hiding its light     
under a bushel2 so much so that business
 men cannot see even a glimmer of its   
rays4 ,let a position of any real       
importance become open1 and it is the   
most difficult kind of a problem to find
 any one to fill it satisfactorily4     
,business men are constantly passing    
through this experience4 ,young men are 
desired in the great majority of        
positions because of their progressive  
ideas and capacity to endure work2 in   
fact1 young blood1 as it is called1 is  
preferred nowadays in nine positions out
 of every ten4 ,the young men capable of
 filling these positions are few4 ,for  
the most part1 the average young man is 
incapable1 or1 if he be not exactly     
incapable 7,i am willing to give him the
 benefit of the doubt71 he is unwilling1
 which is even worse4 ,that exceptions  
can be brought up to controvert this    
statement ,i know2 but in these remarks 
,i am dealing with the many1 and not    
with the few4 ,it is the exception that 

we find in business to-day a young man  
who is something more than a plodder--a 
mere automatic machine4 ,as a general   
rule1 the average young man comes to his
 office at nine o'clock in the morning2 
is faithful in the duties he performs2  
goes to lunch at twelve2 comes back at  
one2 takes up whatever he is told to do 
until five1 and then goes home4 ,his    
work for the day is done4 ,one day is   
the same to him as another2 he has a    
certain routine of duties to do1 and he 
does them day in and day out1 month in  
and month out4 ,his duties are regulated
 by the clock4 ,as that points1 so he   
points4 ,verily it is true of him that  
he is the same yesterday1 to-day1 and   
forever4 ,no special fault can be found 
with his work4 ,given a particular piece
 of work to do1 he does it just as a    
machine would4 ,such a young man1 too1  
generally considers himself             
hard-worked--often overworked and       
under-paid--wondering all the time why  
his employer does not recognize his     

value and advance his salary4 ,i do     
everything ,i am told to do1 he argues1 
and ,i do it well4 ,what more can ,i do8
  ,this is simply a type of a young man 
who exists in thousands of offices and  
stores4 ,he comes to his work each day  
with no definite point or plan in view2 
he leaves it with nothing accomplished4 
,he is a mere automaton4 ,let him die1  
and his position can be filled in       
twenty-four hours4 ,if he detracts      
nothing from his employer's business he 
certainly adds nothing to it4 ,he never 
advances an idea2 is absolutely devoid  
of creative powers2 his position remains
 the same after he has been in it for   
five years as when he came to it4  ,now 
,i would not for a moment be understood 
as belittling the value of faithfulness 
in an employee4 ,but1 after all1        
faithfulness is nothing more nor less   
than a negative quality4 ,by            
faithfulness a man can hold a position a
 lifetime4 ,he will keep it just where  
he found it4 ,but by the exercise of    

this single quality he does not add to  
the importance of the position any more 
than he adds to his own value4 ,it is   
not enough that it should be said of a  
young man that he is faithful2 he must  
be something more4 ,the willingness and 
capacity to be faithful to the smallest 
detail must be there1 serving only1     
however1 as a foundation upon which     
other qualities are built4  ,altogether 
too many young men are content to remain
 in the positions in which they find    
themselves4 ,the thought of studying the
 needs of the next position just above  
them never seems to enter into their    
minds4 ,i believe it is possible for    
every young man to rise above his       
position1 and ,i care not how humble    
that position may be1 nor under what    
disadvantages he may be placed4 ,but he 
must be alert4 ,he must not be afraid of
 work1 and of the hardest kind of work4 
,he must study not only to please1 but  
he must go a step beyond4 ,it is        
essential1 of course1 that he should    

first of all fill the position for which
 he is engaged4 ,no man can solve the   
problem of business before he           
understands the rudiments of the problem
 itself4 ,once the requirements of a    
position are understood and mastered1   
then its possibilities should be        
undertaken4 ,it is foolish to argue1 as 
some young men do1 that to go beyond    
one's special position is made          
impossible by an employer4 ,the employer
 never existed who will prevent the     
cream of his establishment from rising  
to the surface4 ,the advance of an      
employee always means the advance of the
 employer's interest4 ,every employer   
would rather pay a young man five       
thousand dollars a year than five       
hundred4 ,what is to the young man's    
interests is in a far greater degree to 
the interests of his employer4 ,a       
five-hundred-dollar clerkship is worth  
just that amount to an employer1 and    
nothing more4 ,but a                    
five-thousand-dollar man is fully worth 

five times that sum to a business4 ,a   
young man makes of a position exactly   
what he chooses1 either a millstone     
around his neck or a stepping-stone to  
larger success4 ,the possibilities lie  
in every position2 seeing and embracing 
them rest with its occupant4 ,the lowest
 position can be so filled as to lead up
 to the next and become a part of it4   
,one position should only be the        
chrysalis for the development of new    
strength to master the other just above 
it4  ,a substantial success means       
several things4 ,it calls1 in the first 
place1 for concentration4 ,there is no  
truth so potent as that which tells us  
that we cannot serve ,god and ,mammon4  
,nor can any young man successfully     
serve two business interests1 no matter 
how closely allied2 in fact1 the more   
closely the interests the more dangerous
 are they4 ,the human mind is capable of
 just so much clear thought1 and        
generally it does not extend beyond the 
requirements of one position in these   

days of keen competition4 ,if there     
exists a secret of success1 it lies1    
perhaps1 in concentration more than in  
any other single element4 ,during       
business hours a man should be in       
business4 ,his thoughts should be on    
nothing else4 ,diversions of thought are
 killing to the best endeavors4 ,the    
successful mastery of business questions
 calls for a personal interest1 a       
forgetfulness of self1 that can only    
come from the closest application and   
the most absolute concentration4 ,i go  
so far in my belief of concentration to 
business interests in business hours as 
to argue that a young man's personal    
letters have no right to come to his    
office address1 nor should he receive   
his social friends at his desk4         
,business hours are none too long in the
 great majority of our offices1 and with
 a rest of one hour for luncheon1 no one
 has a right to chop off fifteen minutes
 here to read an irrelevant personal    
letter1 or fifteen minutes there to talk

 with a friend whose conversation       
distracts the mind from the problems    
before it4 ,digression is just as       
dangerous as stagnation in the career of
 a young man in business4 ,there is     
absolutely no position worth the having 
in business life to-day to which a care 
of other interests can be added4 ,let a 
man attempt to serve the interests of   
one master1 and if he serves him well he
 has his hands and his head full4       
,there is a class of ambitious young men
 who have what they choose to call an   
anchor to the windward in their         
business2 that is1 they maintain        
something in addition to their regular  
position4 ,they do this from necessity1 
they claim4 ,one position does not offer
 sufficient scope for their powers or   
talents1 does not bring them sufficient 
income2 they are forced1 they explain1  
to take on something in addition4 ,i    
have known such young men4 ,but so far  
as ,i have been able to discern1 the    
trouble does not lie so much with the   

position they occupy as with themselves4
 ,when a man turns away from the        
position he holds to outside affairs1 he
 turns just so far away from the surest 
path of success4 ,to do one thing       
perfectly is better than to do two      
things only fairly well4 ,it was told me
 once1 of one of our best-known actors1 
that outside of his stage-knowledge he  
knew absolutely nothing4 ,but he acted  
well--so well that he stands to-day at  
the head of his profession1 and has an  
income of five figures several times    
over4 ,all-around geniuses are rare--so 
rare that we can hardly find them4 ,it  
is a pleasant thing to be able to talk  
well on many topics2 but1 after all1    
that is but a social accomplishment4 ,to
 know one thing absolutely means        
material success and commercial and     
mental superiority4 ,i dare say that if 
some of our young men understood the    
needs of the positions they occupy more 
fully than they do1 the necessity for   
outside work would not exist4  ,right in

 line with this phase of a young man's  
work comes the necessity of his learning
 that he cannot do evening work and be  
employed the entire day as well4 ,it is 
the most difficult thing for ambitious  
young men to understand that night-work 
is physically and mentally detrimental  
to the best business success4 ,let a    
machine run night and day1 and before   
long it will break down2 and what a     
mechanism of iron and steel cannot bear1
 the human organism certainly cannot    
stand4 ,if a young man employs his      
evenings for work1 he unfits himself for
 his work during the day4 ,the mind     
needs diversion1 recreation1 rest2 and  
any mentality kept at a certain tension 
for more than seven or eight hours per  
day will sooner or later lose its keen  
perceptive powers4 ,no young man true to
 his best and wisest interests will     
employ his evenings in the same line of 
thought as that which engrosses him     
during the day4 ,mental work is unlike  
manual labor in that it tires without   

physical exhaustion2 and because the    
worker does not feel it as much when he 
uses his head for ten or twelve hours   
per day as he would if he used the      
muscles for that period of time1 he     
goes1 nevertheless1 unconsciously beyond
 his powers of strength4 ,unknown to    
him1 the strain leaves its mark upon the
 mind4 ,youthful vigor throws its       
effects off for a while1 but not        
permanently2 and a man's early breakdown
 when he should be at the zenith of his 
powers in middle life is very often     
directly traceable to an overtaxing of  
his powers in early life4 ,but not only 
is the effect of a future character2 it 
is noticeable at the time of the        
indiscretion4 ,it is seen in the        
inability of the mind to respond quickly
 to some suggestion at the office2 and  
how can it be otherwise when the mind   
has been worked beyond its normal       
capacity8 ,there is no question in my   
mind whatever that a young man is untrue
 to the interests of his employer when  

he allows himself to work during the    
evening hours4 ,although he may not be  
conscious of it himself1 he does not    
come to his work the following morning  
as fresh as he might if the mind had    
been given a season of diversion and    
rest4  ,i know whereof ,i speak when ,i 
touch upon this subject4 ,in common with
 other young men who are wiser than     
their best advisers1 ,i made the mistake
 of evening work4 ,for several years ,i 
gave up four or five evenings of each   
week to literary work4 ,my family1 my   
best friends1 my physician1 warned me to
 desist4 ,but ,i knew better4 ,others1  
,i conceded1 undoubtedly had suffered   
from what ,i was doing1 but ,i should   
not4 ,i was strong1 young1 and of       
excellent physique4 ,i could stand it2  
others could not2 in fact1 ,i was an    
exception to the rest of the human race4
 ,two or three years went by1 and ,i was
 proud of proving to my advisers that ,i
 was right and they were wrong4 ,but    
suddenly1 with scarce a warning1 the    

blow came4 ,irritability and nervousness
 came first2 everything annoyed me4 ,the
 closing of a door1 or the sudden       
entrance of a person into the room1     
caused me to start4 ,the harder ,i      
worked the less ,i seemed to accomplish4
 ,i could not understand it4 ,then ,i   
began to lie awake for a half-hour after
 ,i retired2 after a while the half-hour
 lengthened into an hour1 then into two 
hours4 ,finally ,i had insomnia4 ,after 
a bit my digestion did not seem to be as
 regular2 a heavy feeling possessed me  
after eating4 ,i was ordered away2      
stayed a week when ,i was told ,i should
 remain for a month4 ,but1 of course1 ,i
 knew better4 ,and what is the result8  
,for the past three years ,i have       
suffered from an indigestion as constant
 as it is keen2 and to-day ,i have to   
regulate my food1 my hours1 and my      
habits1 with the pleasing prospect that 
at least two years of such living are   
ahead of me before ,i can hope for      
relief4 ,and why8 ,simply because of    

working1 years ago1 when ,i should have 
been resting4 ,but then ,i did not      
understand it4 ,i do now1 and ,i wish   
that every young man who reads these    
words might profit by my error4 ,i am   
fortunate to get off with nothing more  
serious than indigestion1 but even that 
affliction has pains which only those   
who have suffered them can begin to     
fully realize4 ,night-work1 when        
employed in the day1 does not pay2 on   
the contrary1 it kills4 ,i wish         
fervently and sincerely that five1      
eight1 or ten years ago ,i might have   
reached this point of wisdom4 ,i did    
not1 but ,i write it now and here as a  
warning to young fellows who value their
 health1 their happiness1 their peace of
 mind1 and a comfortable feeling in the 
pits of their stomachs4  ,a fatal error 
in the case of many young men is that   
they reach a point where they make no   
progress4 ,now stagnation in a young    
man's career is but a synonym for       
starvation1 since there is no such thing

 as standing still in the business world
 of to-day4 ,either we go backward or we
 go forward4 ,when a young man fails to 
keep abreast of the possibilities of his
 position he recedes constantly1 if     
unconsciously1 perhaps4 ,the young man  
who progresses is he who enters into the
 spirit of the business of his employer1
 and who points out new methods to him1 
advances new ideas1 suggests new        
channels and outputs4 ,there is not a   
more direct road to the confidence of an
 employer than for that employer to see 
that any one of his clerks understands  
the details of his business better than 
himself4 ,that young man commands the   
attention of his chief at once1 and when
 a vacancy occurs he is apt to step into
 it1 if he does not forge over the      
shoulders of others4 ,young men who     
think clearly1 who can conceive1 create1
 and carry out1 are not so plentiful    
that even a single one will be lost     
sight of4 ,it is no special art1 and it 
reflects but little credit upon any man1

 to simply fill a position4 ,that is    
expected of him2 he is engaged to do    
that1 and it is only a fair return for a
 certain payment made4 ,the art lies in 
doing more than was bargained for2 in   
proving greater than was expected2 in   
making more of a position than has ever 
been made before4 ,a quick conception is
 needed here1 the ability to view a     
broad horizon2 for it is the            
liberal-minded man1 not the man of      
narrow limitations1 who makes the       
success of to-day4 ,a young man showing 
such qualities to an employer does not  
remain in one position long4  ,two traps
 in which young men in business often   
fall are a disregard for small things1  
and an absolute fear of making mistakes4
 ,one of the surest keys to success lies
 in thoroughness4 ,no matter how great  
may be the enterprise undertaken1 a     
regard for the small things is          
necessary4 ,just as the little          
courtesies of every-day life make life  
worth the living1 so the little details 

form the bone and sinew of a great      
success4 ,a thing half or three-quarters
 done is worse than not done at all4    
,let a man be careful of the small      
things in business1 and he can generally
 be relied upon for the greater ones1   
provided1 of course1 that he possesses  
broadness of mind4 ,the man who can     
overcome small worries is greater than  
the man who can override great          
obstacles4 ,when a young man becomes so 
ambitious for large success that he     
overlooks the small things1 he is pretty
 apt to encounter failure4 ,there is    
nothing in business so infinitesimal    
that we can afford to do it in a        
slipshod fashion4 ,it is no art to      
answer twenty letters in a morning when 
they are1 in reality1 only half         
answered4 ,when we commend brevity in   
business letters we do not mean         
brusqueness4 ,nothing stamps the        
character of a house so clearly as the  
letters it sends out4  ,the fear of     
making mistakes keeps many a young man  

down4 ,of course errors in business are 
costly1 and it is better not to make    
them4 ,but1 at the same time1 ,i would  
not give a snap of the finger for a     
young man who has never made mistakes4  
,but there are mistakes and mistakes2   
some easy to be overlooked1 and others  
it is better not to blink at in an      
employee4 ,a mistake of judgment is     
possible with us all2 the best of us are
 not above a wrong decision4 ,and a     
young man who holds back for fear of    
making mistakes loses the first point of
 success4  ,i know there are thousands  
of young men who feel themselves        
incompetent for a business career       
because of a lack of early education4   
,and here might come in--if ,i chose to 
discuss the subject1 which ,i do        
not--the oft-mooted question of the     
exact value of a college education to   
the young man in business4 ,far abler   
pens than mine have treated of this2 it 
is certainly not for me to enter into it
 here4 ,but ,i will say this3 a young   

man need not feel that the lack of a    
college education will stand in any     
respect whatever in the way of his      
success in the business world4 ,no      
college on earth ever made a business   
man4 ,the knowledge acquired in college 
has fitted thousands of men for         
professional success1 but it has also   
unfitted other thousands for a practical
 business career4 ,a college training is
 never wasted1 although ,i have seen    
again and again five-thousand-dollar    
educations spent on five-hundred-dollar 
men4 ,where a young man can bring a     
college education to the requirements of
 a practical business knowledge it is an
 advantage4 ,but before our ,american   
colleges become an absolute factor in   
the business capacities of men1 their   
methods of study and learning will have 
to be radically changed4 ,i have had    
associated with me both kinds of young  
men1 collegiate and non-collegiate1 and 
,i must confess that the ones who had a 
better knowledge of the practical part  

of life have been those who never saw   
the inside of a college and whose feet  
never stood upon a campus4 ,college-bred
 men and men who never had college      
advantages have succeeded in about equal
 ratios4 ,the men occupying the most    
important commercial positions in ,new  
,york to-day are self-made1 whose only  
education has come to them from contact 
with that greatest college of all1 the  
business world4 ,far be it from me to   
depreciate the value of a college       
education4 ,i believe in its advantages 
too firmly4 ,but no young man need feel 
hampered because of the lack of it4 ,if 
business qualities are in him they will 
come to the surface4 ,it is not the     
college education2 it is the young man4 
,without its possession as great and    
honorable successes have been made as   
with it4 ,men are not accepted in the   
business world upon their collegiate    
diplomas1 nor on the knowledge these    
imply4 ,they are taken for what they    
are1 for what they know4  ,the young man

 engaged in business to-day in this     
country has advantages exceeding those  
of any generation before him4 ,and ,i do
 not say this simply as an echo of what 
others before me have said1 or to use a 
platitudinous phrase4 ,there never was a
 time in the world's history when a     
young man had the opportunity to make   
something of himself that he has at the 
present day4 ,he lives in a country     
where every success is possible2 where a
 man can make of himself what he may    
choose2 where energy and enterprise are 
appreciated1 and a market is always     
ready for good wares4 ,young men have   
forged to the front wonderfully during  
the past ten years4 ,employers are more 
than ever willing to lay great          
responsibilities on their shoulders4    
,salaries are higher than ever2 young   
men never before earned the incomes     
which are received by some to-day4 ,all 
success is possible4  ,but a young man  
must be alert to every opportunity4 ,he 
cannot forget himself for a moment in   

business4 ,a man's best working years   
are not many1 and when they are upon him
 he must make hay1 and all the hay he   
can4 ,no young man can afford to reach  
the age of thirty without feeling that  
he is settled in a business way4 ,before
 that time he flounders2 but at thirty  
the floundering time should be over4 ,he
 should have found that special trade or
 profession for which he thinks he is   
most capable4 ,this age is generally    
accepted1 ,i believe1 for the reason    
that a man is most likely to do his best
 work between thirty and forty2 after   
forty a man's work is not apt to have   
that energy and snap that is born of    
youth1 and the tendency is first shown  
in his willingness to deputize details  
to others4 ,i do not mean to say that a 
man begins to decline at forty2 on the  
contrary1 he is at his prime1 and he    
remains so for ten or fifteen years4    
,but he is better for judgment than he  
is for working out details4 ,a man's    
real work1 his energetic work1 his      

laborious work1 is generally done before
 he reaches thirty-five4  ,and not only 
must he practically make himself between
 thirty and forty1 but he must not spend
 all that he earns4 ,he must lay aside a
 goodly portion of his earnings4 ,it is 
a cruel but a hard fact that the        
business world has very little use for  
what are termed old men nowadays2 and in
 these times of keen competitive strife 
a man is judged to be old very early    
from the cold commercial point of view4 
,he may not consider himself as being   
old1 but he is no longer considered to  
be in the race with the younger men1 who
 naturally have quicker perceptions and 
whose sense of alertness is necessarily 
keener4 ,the most successful man at     
forty is very often the man who is      
quietly pushed aside at sixty4 ,if young
 men earning good incomes between thirty
 and forty would look a little ahead1   
and consider the inevitable fact that as
 they grow older their value is very apt
 to lessen in a commercial sense1 they  

would save themselves much              
after-humiliation and sorrowful         
retrospection4 ,it is hard for a young  
man at1 say1 thirty-five1 in the full   
flush and vigor of manhood1 to realize  
that a time will come when others as    
clever as himself and a bit cleverer    
will pass him by4 ,but the cold fact    
exists1 nevertheless1 and he is wise    
who1 at his prime1 thinks of a time     
which is almost sure to come to every   
man who lives4  ,and yet1 while a young 
man may be ambitious for success in     
business1 he cannot afford to get       
impatient or restless4 ,not long ago ,i 
received a letter from a young fellow   
which particularly reflected the feeling
 that ,i mean4 ,he wrote me that he was 
twenty1 and was impatient because he did
 not make the progress in his business  
which he felt that he should4 ,he       
confessed that he was not so very much  
dissatisfied with his salary1 which was 
twenty-two dollars per week1 although he
 thought it ought to be forty dollars4  

,unfortunately for him1 however1 his    
employers did not seem to think so1 and 
he was quite sure he was being kept     
back4 ,he conceded that he was becoming 
impatient1 but insisted that he had     
reason to feel so4  ,well1 ,i felt      
precisely the same way when ,i was      
twenty2 only my salary was eighteen     
dollars and thirty-three cents per week1
 and ,i felt quite sure that the figures
 ought to be reversed4 ,and there were  
several positions just beyond me1 too1  
which ,i felt ,i should justly be asked 
to occupy4 ,but ,i was not1 and1 of     
course1 ,i felt aggrieved4 ,i considered
 myself imposed upon4 ,now when ,i look 
back upon that time ,i can see that the 
reason my salary was not thirty-three   
dollars and eighteen cents was simply   
because ,i was incapable of earning that
 amount4 ,i was not worth it to my      
employer4 ,and the reason ,i did not get
 those several positions just ahead of  
me was because ,i could not have filled 
them if ,i had gotten them--not one of  

them4 ,but ,i am a little more than     
twenty now1 and my correspondent1 when  
he is about ten years older1 will       
understand a great many things that are 
not very clear to him just now4 ,of     
course he probably will not choose to   
believe this2 youths of twenty are not  
apt to believe much that is told them1  
since they have so little to learn6     
,but1 if ,i were back to twenty again1  
and1 with my later knowledge1 were      
earning twenty-two dollars per week1 ,i 
should not only be satisfied1 but ,i    
should be intensely thankful4 ,i think1 
too1 that the knowledge that there were 
thousands of men of forty and fifty     
years who were not earning as much would
 help me to endure the ordeal4 ,i think 
that instead of rebelling at the fact   
that ,i was earning twenty-two dollars1 
,i should rather devote my time to      
trying to find the best way of doubling 
it4 ,i might not be able to make        
twenty-five dollars for a year or two1  
but ,i should endeavor to do so4 ,in    

fact1 if we look over the field1 there  
are more young men of twenty-one who are
 worth less than twenty-five dollars per
 week than there are who are worth that 
or more4 ,and one proof of this is found
 in the fact that in ,new ,york ,city   
alone there are tens of thousands of    
young men at that age who are not       
earning eighteen dollars per week4 ,in  
addition to all this ,i might be tempted
 to believe that too rapid advance might
 not be the best thing in the world for 
me4 ,too large an income1 even when     
deserved1 is far often more of a        
hindrance to a young man of twenty-one  
or thereabouts than a help4 ,what ,i    
should feel willing to do would be this3
 if ,i felt that my employer was a man  
of honor and judgment ,i should leave   
myself in his hands for a while4 ,i     
should do him the courtesy of believing 
that he knew more than ,i did4 ,a man at
 fifty is sometimes apt to know more--if
 only a very little more--than a boy of 
twenty2 and if ,i had his confidence and

 felt that ,i was pleasing him with my  
services1 ,i should let him go at       
that--for a time1 at any rate4  ,there  
are hundreds of young men in business   
to-day who feel just as restless and    
impatient as did this correspondent4    
,but these young men should bear a few  
things in mind4 ,they should remember1  
first of all1 that between the years of 
twenty and twenty-five a young man      
acquires rather than achieves4 ,it is   
the learning period of life1 the        
experience-gaining time4 ,knowledge that
 is worth anything does not come to us  
until we are past twenty-five4 ,the mind
 before that age is incapable of forming
 wise judgments4 ,the great art of      
accurate decision in business matters is
 not acquired in a few weeks of         
commercial life4 ,it is the result of   
years4 ,it is not only the power within 
himself1 but the experience behind him1 
that makes a successful business man4   
,the commercial world is only a greater 
school than the one of slates and       

slate-pencils4 ,no boy1 after attending 
school for five years1 would consider   
himself competent to teach4 ,and surely 
five years of commercial apprenticeship 
will not fit a young man to assume a    
position of trust1 nor give him the     
capacity to decide upon important       
business matters4 ,in the first five    
years--yes1 in the first ten years--of a
 young man's business life he is only in
 the primary department of the great    
commercial world4 ,it is for him1 then1 
to study methods1 to observe other      
men--in short1 to learn and not hope to 
achieve4 ,that will come later4         
,business1 simple as it may look to the 
young man1 is1 nevertheless1 a very     
intricate affair1 and it is only by     
years of closest study that we master an
 understanding of it4  ,the electric    
atmosphere of the ,american business    
world is all too apt to make our young  
men impatient4 ,they want to fly before 
they can even walk well4 ,ambition is a 
splendid thing in any young man4 ,but   

getting along too fast is just as       
injurious as getting along too slow4 ,a 
young man between twenty and twenty-five
 must be patient4 ,i know patience is a 
difficult thing to cultivate1 but it is 
among the first lessons we must learn in
 business4 ,a good stock of patience1   
acquired in early life1 will stand a man
 in good stead in later years4 ,it is a 
handy thing to have and draw upon1 and  
makes a splendid safety-valve4 ,because 
a young man1 as he approaches           
twenty-five1 begins to see things more  
plainly than he did five years before1  
he must not get the idea that he is a   
business man yet1 and entitled to a     
man's salary4 ,if business questions    
which he did not understand five years  
before now begin to look clearer to him1
 it is because he is passing through the
 transitory state that divides the      
immature judgment of the young man from 
the ripening penetration of the man4 ,he
 is simply beginning4 ,from that point  
he will grow1 and his salary will grow  

as he grows4 ,but ,rome was not built in
 a day1 and a business man is not made  
in a night4 ,as experience comes1 the   
judgment will become mature2 and by the 
time the young man reaches thirty he    
will begin to realize that he did not   
know as much at twenty-five as he       
thought he did4 ,and when he is ready to
 learn from others he will begin to grow
 wise4 ,and when he reaches that state  
where he is willing to concede that he  
has not a corner in knowledge1 he will  
be stepping out of the chrysalis of     
youth4  ,and so to a young man in       
business or just starting in business ,i
 would say1 remember these very         
essential truths4  ,above all things1   
before a young man attempts to make a   
success he should convince himself that 
he is in a congenial business4 ,whether 
it be a trade or a profession--both are 
honorable and productive--let him       
satisfy himself1 above everything else1 
that it enlists his personal interest4  
,if a man shows that he has his work at 

heart his success can be relied on4     
,personal interest in any work will     
bring other things2 but all the other   
essentials combined cannot create       
personal interest4 ,that must exist     
first2 then two thirds of the battle is 
won4 ,fully satisfied that he is in that
 particular line of business for which  
he feels a stronger1 warmer interest    
than for any other1 then he should      
remember3  ,first1 that1 whatever else  
he may strive to be1 he must1 above all1
 be absolutely honest4 ,from honorable  
principles he can never swerve4 ,a      
temporary success is often possible on  
what are not exactly dishonest1 but     
shady lines4 ,such success1 however1 is 
only temporary1 with a certainty of     
permanent loss4 ,the surest business    
successes--yes1 the only successes worth
 the making--are built upon honest      
foundations4 ,there can be no blinking  
at the truth or at honesty1 no half-way 
compromise4 ,there is but one way to be 
successful1 and that is to be absolutely

 honest2 and there is but one way of    
being honest4 ,honesty is not only the  
foundation1 but the capstone as well1 of
 business success4  ,second1 he must be 
alert1 alive to every opportunity4 ,he  
cannot afford to lose a single point1   
for that single point might prove the   
very link that would make complete the  
whole chain of a business success4      
,third1 he must ever be willing to      
learn1 never overlooking the fact that  
others have long ago forgotten what he  
has still to learn4 ,firmness of        
decision is an admirable trait in       
business4 ,the young man whose opinion  
can be tossed from one side to another  
is poor material4 ,but youth is full of 
errors1 and caution is a strong trait4  
,fourth1 if he be wise he will entirely 
avoid the use of liquors4 ,if the       
question of harm done by intoxicating   
liquor is an open one1 the question of  
the actual good derived from it is not4 
,fifth1 let him remember that a young   
man's strongest recommendation is his   

respectability4 ,some young men1        
apparently successful1 may be flashy in 
dress1 loud in manner1 and disrespectful
 of women and sacred things4 ,but the   
young man who is respectable always     
wears best4 ,the way a young man carries
 himself in his private life ofttimes   
means much to him in his business       
career4 ,no matter where he is1 or in   
whose company1 respectability1 and all  
that it implies1 will always command    
respect4  ,and if any young man wishes a
 set of rules even more concise1 here it
 is3  ,get into a business you like4    
,devote yourself to it4  ,be honest in  
everything4  ,employ caution2 think out 
a thing well before you enter upon it4  
,sleep eight hours every night4  ,do    
everything that means keeping in good   
health4  ,school yourself not to worry2 
worry kills1 work does not4  ,avoid     
liquors of all kinds4  ,if you must     
smoke1 smoke moderately4  ,shun         
discussion on two points--religion and  
politics4  ,and last1 but not least1    

marry a true woman1 and have your own   
home4     ,,iv  ,,his ,,social ,,life   
,,and ,,amusements   ,the social life of
 a young man has a direct and important 
bearing upon his success1 and he cannot 
be too careful of what forms of         
amusement he allows to come into his    
hours of leisure4  ,from a business     
standpoint it is all-important that he  
keep a careful watch on his social      
habits4 ,for it is not enough for any   
young man that he should only take care 
of himself during his working-hours4 ,to
 social dissipations at night can be    
traced the downfall of hundreds upon    
hundreds of young men4 ,the idea that an
 employer has no control over a young   
man's time away from the office is a    
dangerous fallacy4 ,an employer has     
every right to ask that those into whose
 hands he intrusts responsibilities     
shall follow social habits which will   
not endanger his interests upon the     
morrow4 ,so far as social life is       
concerned1 young men generally run to   

extremes4 ,either they do not go out at 
all1 which is stagnating1 or they go out
 too much1 which is deadly4 ,only here  
and there is found one who knows the    
happy medium2 a certain amount of social
 diversion is essential to              
everybody--boy1 man1 girl1 or woman2 and
 particularly so to a young man with a  
career to make4 ,to come into contact   
with the social side of people is       
broadening2 it is educative4 ,to know   
people1 says a writer1 you must see them
 at play4 ,social life can be made a    
study at the same time that it is made a
 pleasure4 ,to know the wants of people1
 to learn their softer side1 you must   
come into contact with their social     
natures4 ,no young man can afford to    
deny himself certain pleasures1 or a    
reasonable amount of contact with people
 in the outer world4 ,it is to his      
advantage that people should know he    
exists2 it is important to the wise     
shaping of his aims and aspirations4 ,it
 is well for him to keep himself        

honorably in the eyes of people4 ,his   
evening diversions should be as widely  
different from his occupations during   
the day as possible4 ,the mind needs a  
change of thought as well as does the   
body a change of raiment4 ,all work and 
no play makes ,jack a dull boy contains 
a vast amount of truth4  ,at the same   
time1 nothing is more injurious to the  
chances of a young man in business than 
an over-indulgence in the pleasures of  
what1 for the want of a better word1 we 
call society4 ,it is a rough but a true 
saying that a man cannot drink whisky   
and be in business4 ,perhaps a softer   
and more refined translation of this is 
that a man cannot be in society and be  
in business4 ,this is impossible1 and   
nothing that a young man can bear in    
mind will stand him to such good account
 as this fact4 ,no mind can be fresh in 
the morning that has been kept at a     
tension the night before by late hours1 
or been befogged by indulgence in late  
suppers4 ,we need more sleep at twenty  

or twenty-five than we do at fifty2 and 
the young man who grants himself less   
than eight hours' sleep every night just
 robs himself of so much vitality4 ,so  
far as the required amount of sleeping  
is concerned1 ,i hold to this inexorable
 rule3 sleep eight hours every night and
 an extra hour whenever possible4 ,the  
most successful men have repeatedly     
acknowledged that to a regularity in    
hours of retiring they can trace a large
 part of their ability to compass the   
questions which enter into a successful 
career4  ,one rule should be positive   
with every young man3 the midnight hours
 should be passed in sleep2 and by these
 hours ,i mean eleven and twelve        
o'clock4 ,if a young man makes it a rule
 to be asleep by eleven and up by seven1
 he chooses the course which hundreds of
 the most successful men of the day have
 chosen4 ,the loss of vitality brought  
by less than eight hours' sleep may not 
be felt or noticed at present1 but the  
process of sleeping is only nature's    

banking system of principal and         
interest4 ,a mind capable of the        
fulfilment of its highest duties should 
be receptive to ideas1 quick to         
comprehend1 instantaneous in its        
conception of a point4 ,with a fresh    
mind and a clear brain a young man has  
two of the greatest levers of success4  
,these cannot be retained under social  
indulgences4 ,the dissipation of a night
 has its invariable influence upon the  
work of the morrow4 ,i do not preach    
total abstinence of any habits to which 
human nature is prone4 ,every man ought 
to know what is good for him and what is
 injurious to his best interests4 ,but  
an excess of anything is injurious1 and 
a young man on the threshold of a       
business career cannot afford to be     
excessive in a single direction4 ,he    
should husband his resources4 ,he will  
need them all4 ,for no success is easily
 made in these days4 ,appearances are   
tremendously deceptive in this respect4 
,we see men making what we choose to    

regard and what are known as quick      
successes1 because at a comparatively   
early age they acquire position or      
means4 ,but one needs only to study the 
conditions of the business life of      
to-day to see how impossible it is to   
achieve any success except by the       
severest patience and by the very       
hardest work4 ,no young man need        
approach a business career with the idea
 that its achievement is easy4 ,the     
histories of successful men tell us all 
too clearly the lessons of the patience 
and efforts of years4 ,some men compass 
a successful career in less time than   
others4 ,and if the methods employed are
 necessarily different1 the requirements
 are precisely the same4 ,it is a story 
of hard work in every case1 of close    
application1 and of a patient mastery of
 the problem in hand4 ,advantages of    
education will come in at times and push
 one man ahead of another4 ,but a       
practical business knowledge is apt to  
be a greater possession4  ,but1 says    

some young fellow1 what are the social  
pleasures and indulgences which         
injuriously affect a young man's        
success8 ,only one general answer can be
 given1 and it is this3 any social      
pleasure or indulgence which affects a  
young man's health affects his success4 
,good health is the foundation of all   
possible success in life2 affect the one
 and you affect the other4  ,i presume  
it is safe to say that no single element
 in social life has injured so many     
young men as an indulgence in           
intoxicating liquors1 and ,i shall treat
 of this first4 ,and in doing so ,i     
shall take the matter entirely away from
 the moral standpoint1 and place it     
simply on its best and wisest basis1    
that of principle4 ,many a writer--too  
many1 alas6--has held forth on this     
subject of wine-drinking and young men1 
and pointed out its moral aspects4 ,this
 is all very well as far as it goes2 but
 ,i think that if more writers placed   
their young-men readers on their honor  

in this matter it would be infinitely   
better4 ,it is not a question of whether
 it is right or wrong for a young man to
 indulge in spirituous drinks1 so far as
 his success is concerned4 ,it simply   
amounts to one thing3 he absolutely     
cannot do it4 ,and ,i can say this to   
every young fellow from my own          
experience and observation as a young   
man who1 when he started out1 did not   
know exactly what position to take4  ,i 
was about sixteen years old1 if ,i      
remember rightly1 when ,i began         
attending public dinners and assemblages
 in the capacity of a newspaper         
reporter4 ,wines were then more freely  
used at dinners than now1 and ,i soon   
saw that ,i must make up my mind whether
 at these gatherings ,i should partake  
of wines or decline them4 ,i had been   
trained to the belief that it was always
 best to err on the safe side1 and as ,i
 sat down to my first public dinner--a  
,new ,england dinner in ,brooklyn--,i   
shielded the wine-glasses set before me 

as the waiters came to my plate1 and    
this practice ,i have followed ever     
since4  ,at first my principle never to 
touch liquor or spirits of any kind     
directed to me the chaffings of my      
friends4 ,i was told it looked babyish2 
that ,i could not expect to go out much 
and keep to my principle2 that ,i would 
often find it considered discourteous to
 refuse a simple glass of wine tendered 
by my hostess4 ,but ,i made up my mind  
that there was no use of having a       
principle unless one stuck to it4 ,and  
,i soon saw that people respected me the
 more for it4 ,and just let me say right
 here to all young men3 ,i never lost   
one friend by my refusals1 but ,i made  
scores of friendships--of men1 from one 
who has occupied the presidential chair 
down2 of women1 among whom are the best 
and most famous in our land to-day4  ,i 
honestly believe that a young man who   
starts out in life with a fixed         
principle--whether it be that he will   
not drink1 or smoke1 or indulge in      

anything which in his heart he feels is 
not good for him1 or in which he does   
not conscientiously believe--and adheres
 to that principle1 no matter under what
 circumstances he may be placed1 holds  
in his hand one of the most powerful    
elements of success in the world to-day4
 ,there is a great deal of common sense 
abroad in this world of ours1 and a     
young man with a good principle is      
always safe to depend upon it4 ,the men 
and women whose friendships are worth   
having are the men and women who have   
principles themselves1 and respect them 
in others1 especially when they find    
them in a young man4  ,another thing    
which led me to make up my mind never to
 touch liquor was the damage which ,i   
saw wrought by it upon some of the      
finest minds with which it was ever my  
privilege to come in contact2 and ,i    
concluded that what had resulted        
injuriously to others might prove so to 
me4 ,i have seen1 even in my few years  
of professional life1 some of the       

smartest--yea1 brilliant--literary men  
dethroned from splendid positions owing 
to nothing else but their indulgence in 
wine4 ,i have known men with salaries of
 thousands of dollars per year1         
occupying positions which hundreds would
 strive a lifetime to attain1 come to   
beggary from drink4 ,only recently there
 applied to me1 for any position ,i     
could offer him1 one of the most        
brilliant editorial writers in the      
newspaper profession--a man who1 two    
years ago1 easily commanded one hundred 
dollars for a single article in his     
special field4 ,that man became so      
unreliable from drink that editors are  
now afraid of his articles2 and although
 he can to-day write as forcible        
editorials as at any time during his    
life1 he sits in a cellar in one of our 
cities writing newspaper wrappers for   
one dollar per thousand4 ,and that is   
only one instance of several ,i could   
recite here4 ,i do not hold my friend up
 as a terrible example2 he is but a type

 who convinced me1 and may convince     
others1 that a clear mind and liquor do 
not go together4  ,i know it is said1   
when one brings up such an instance as  
this1 ,oh well1 that man drank to       
excess4 ,one glass will hurt no one4    
,how do these people know that it will  
not8 ,one drop of kerosene has been     
known to throw into flame an almost     
hopeless fire1 and one glass of liquor  
may fan into a flame a smoldering spark 
hid away where we never thought it      
existed4 ,the spark may be there and it 
may not4 ,why take the risk8 ,liquor to 
a healthy young man will never do him   
the least particle of good2 it may do   
him harm4 ,the man for whom ,i have     
absolutely no use is the man who is     
continually asking a young man to just  
have a little2 one glass1 you know4 ,a  
man who will wittingly urge a young man 
whom he knows has a principle against   
liquor is a man for whom a halter is too
 good4  ,then1 as ,i looked around and  
came to know more of people and things1 

,i found the always unanswerable        
argument in favor of a young man's      
abstinence1 i4e41 that the most         
successful men in ,america to-day are   
those who seldom1 if ever1 lift a       
wine-glass to their lips4 ,becoming     
interested in this fact1 ,i had the     
curiosity to personally inquire into it1
 and of twenty-eight of the leading     
business men in the country whose names 
,i selected at random1 twenty-two were  
abstainers4 ,i made up my mind that     
there was some reason for this4 ,if     
liquor brought safe pleasures1 why did  
these men abstain from it8 ,if1 as some 
say1 it is a stimulant to a busy man1   
why did not these men1 directing the    
largest business interests in this      
country1 resort to it8 ,and when ,i saw 
that these were the men whose opinions  
in great business matters were accepted 
by the leading concerns of the world1 ,i
 concluded that their judgment in the   
use of liquor would satisfy me4 ,if     
their judgment in business matters could

 command the respect and attention of   
the leaders of trade on both sides of   
the sea1 their decision as to the use of
 liquor was not apt to be wrong4 ,at    
least1 it was good enough for me4  ,as  
opportunities have come to me to go into
 homes and public places1 ,i find that  
,i do not occupy a solitary position4   
,the tendency to abstain from liquor is 
growing more and more among young men of
 to-day4 ,the brightest young men ,i    
know1 who are filling positions of power
 and promise1 never touch a drop of     
beer1 wines1 or intoxicants of any sort4
 ,and the young man who to-day makes up 
his mind that he will be on the safe    
side and adhere to strict abstinence    
will find that he is not alone4 ,he has 
now the very best element in business   
and social life in the largest cities of
 our land with him4  ,he will not be    
chided for his principle1 but through it
 will command respect4  ,it will not    
retard him in commercial success1 but   
prove his surest help4  ,it will win him

 no enemies1 but bring him the          
friendship of upright men and good      
women4  ,it will win him surer favor    
than aught else in eyes which he will   
sometime in his life think are the      
sweetest he has ever looked into4  ,it  
will insure him the highest commercial  
esteem and the brightest social         
position4  ,and as it molds his         
character in youth1 so will it develop  
him into a successful man and a good    
citizen4  ,i know young men are         
sometimes inclined to believe that      
abstinence from wines is apt to prove a 
barrier to their social success4 ,it    
looks unsociable1 it is claimed4 ,but my
 own experience has demonstrated to me  
otherwise4 ,i have found that a young   
man's best and highest social success is
 assured just in proportion as he       
abstains from wines4 ,an indulgence in  
intoxicants of any sort has never helped
 a man to any social position worth the 
having2 on the contrary1 it has kept    
many from attaining a position to which 

by birth and good breeding and all other
 qualifications they were entitled4 ,no 
young man will ever find that the       
principle of abstinence from liquor is a
 barrier to any success1 social1        
commercial1 or otherwise4 ,on the other 
hand1 it is the one principle in his    
life which will1 in the long run1 help  
him more than any other4 ,and touching  
the point of etiquette on this question1
 whether it is in better form in        
drinking wines at dinner to turn down   
one's glasses or have them removed1 ,i  
would say1 neither4 ,simply shield the  
glasses with the hand as the waiter     
reaches your place at the table with    
each course of wine4 ,turning down one's
 wine-glasses or causing them to be     
removed from the table always seems to  
me to be an unnecessary and rather a    
disagreeable way of pronouncing one's   
principles4  ,so far as the habit of    
smoking is concerned--whether it takes  
the form of a cigarette1 cigar1 or      
pipe--,i do not believe in the idea     

which tells a young man that he must not
 smoke4 ,i say1 rather1 he will be      
wisest if he does not smoke4 ,his health
 will be the better for it and his      
pocket-book the fatter4 ,if the physical
 or mental injury to be derived from    
smoking is an open question1 the good it
 does is not4 ,smoking does absolutely  
no good to any one2 it is simply a      
question of the extent of harm that it  
does4 ,but if a young fellow is inclined
 to smoke1 if he has a taste for it that
 he feels he must indulge1 then ,i say1 
smoke moderately4 ,the greatest danger  
in smoking is in the imperceptible      
growth of the habit2 and this is        
particularly true of cigarette-smoking1 
now so prevalent among young men4       
,unless a young man has himself well in 
hand1 and can govern his passions1 he   
will find that cigarette-smoking has a  
nasty way of growing upon one4 ,he may  
at first smoke only two or three        
cigarettes per day4 ,after a while he   
adds a fourth4 ,in a year it will be    

five per day2 and so it goes on         
multiplying1 but never diminishing1     
until the habit gets a hold which many  
find it impossible to shake off4 ,then  
follow irritability1 nervousness1 loss  
of memory and of appetite1 and all      
kindred complaints1 which are killing to
 a young fellow's health1 and           
necessarily to his success and          
happiness4 ,this1 to my mind1 is the    
danger which lurks in tobacco2 the      
actual harm is not in its use1 but in   
its abuse4 ,and use easily leads to     
abuse in the vast majority of cases4 ,an
 excuse is always at hand to make an    
extra cigarette or cigar permissible on 
a special occasion4 ,but after a bit    
special occasions multiply4 ,i believe  
that if young men would not smoke until 
they attained their thirtieth year1 it  
would be the wisest solution of this    
whole question4 ,one thing is certain3  
the young man who does not smoke is far 
better off than he who does2 and ,i     
think any one addicted to tobacco will  

agree with this statement4  ,it is only 
natural that no young man desires to    
remain at home every evening of the     
week2 and the question naturally arises1
 ,what are the best amusements for a    
young fellow8 ,and on this point        
opinions must necessarily differ4  ,for 
example1 there is the question of       
attendance at the theater4 ,there are   
people--and delightful1 good1 and       
conscientious people they are1 too--who 
sincerely disapprove of the theater4 ,to
 their minds the playhouse is simply a  
trick of the devil to lure young men to 
destruction4 ,and1 as plays go nowadays1
 ,i must confess that they are not far  
from the right4 ,our theaters are       
unquestionably suffering from a deluge  
of plays most of which are morally bad  
and some of which are artistically      
worthless4 ,but the dramatic history of 
every country has waves of this sort4   
,to condemn the theater as an           
institution1 however1 and say to young  
men indiscriminately that they must keep

 away from it1 is1 to my mind1 wrong4   
,because there are bad plays it does not
 necessarily follow that there are no   
good plays4 ,there are--not in plenty1  
,i confess1 but nevertheless they exist4
 ,i believe in the theater in           
moderation1 so long as good actors and  
good plays are selected4 ,then ,i hold  
that the theater is a source of         
education to a young man4 ,it will bring
 before him the lessons of life in a    
more effective way than is possible by  
any method of reading or studying4 ,but 
no general rule can be followed in this 
form1 or1 for that matter1 in any other 
form of amusement4 ,to some young men   
the theater is an absolute harm1 and has
 an injurious effect4 ,if he is of      
susceptible mind and of weak character1 
he will be influenced by the life he    
sees on the stage1 believe it to be     
real1 and1 ofttimes as not1 he will     
fashion his own life and desires by it4 
,this is where the theater does positive
 injury1 and such a young man should    

never attend it4 ,if1 however1 he is    
strong of character1 and goes to the    
theater in the right spirit1 ,i believe 
it is good for him4 ,a good play is a   
wonderful stimulant1 a powerful         
rejuvenant of spirits4 ,it pleases the  
senses as nothing else can do2 it takes 
the mind away from every-day affairs in 
a way that no factor in life1 save1     
perhaps1 a good book1 does4 ,and a good 
play is as beneficial as a good book4   
,as ,i have said before1 it is          
unfortunate that we have so few really  
good plays on the boards of our         
theaters2 but they are there1 and we can
 find them if we will only look out for 
them4 ,and with care in our selection1  
it does us all good to go to the theater
 and enjoy a hearty laugh1 or to see the
 mirror held up to nature4 ,young men   
are often puzzled1 too1 as to the right 
position to assume as regards dancing4  
,so far as this form of amusement is    
concerned1 ,i have always liked to      
believe that dancing1 like going to the 

theater1 is good when enjoyed in        
moderation4 ,its unhealthy possibilities
 in a moral sense no young fellow of the
 right sort ever thinks of or considers4
 ,it is only when they are              
discussed--as1 unfortunately1 they are  
all too often in print--that they       
suggest themselves4 ,dancing1 to my     
mind1 when it is not indulged in        
promiscuously1 but with friends and     
acquaintances of the opposite sex1 is   
one of the highest forms of enjoyment1  
and one that gives to a young fellow    
what we all should possess1 grace and   
the ability to carry ourselves well4    
,but1 like all good things1 dancing can 
be abused1 and then the injurious       
effects come in4 ,if a young fellow goes
 to a dance1 and dances all evening     
without any regard to his physical      
abilities1 he exhausts himself and is   
unfit for his regular duties on the     
morrow4 ,when the practice is followed  
in this wise1 and a late supper--which  
generally means cold or iced foods on a 

heated stomach--is indulged in1 then one
 of the most graceful and enjoyable of  
pleasures is taken out of its proper    
place and becomes an injury4  ,there is 
one thing1 however1 which a young man   
carving his own career in the world soon
 finds out for himself1 and it is that  
dances1 as a rule1 are very exhausting  
pleasures and generally mean late hours4
 ,and after a while he feels that they  
interfere with his business duties on   
the following day4 ,then it is that he  
must make a choice1 and1 of course1     
dancing must suffer and go by the board1
 so to speak4 ,as ,i have said a few    
paragraphs back1 any social pleasure    
which interferes with a young fellow's  
best business interests is bad4 ,what   
one young man can stand another cannot1 
and hence every one must decide for     
himself4 ,he need only keep his health  
in mind4 ,if he finds that any          
pleasure--whether it be attendance at   
the theater1 dancing1 or what not--makes
 him wish next day that he had not      

indulged in it1 it should be perfectly  
clear to him that that particular social
 pleasure is not for him1 and he should 
give it up4  ,card-playing has never had
 any special attraction for me1 and so  
,i can say very little for it4 ,a good  
game of whist1 euchre1 cribbage1 or     
hearts is enjoyable2 but ,i have always 
felt that playing at whist1 particularly
 with experts1 is more or less of a     
mental strain1 and should not be        
indulged in by those who are required to
 use their mental faculties during the  
day4 ,to some1 however1 it is a         
relaxation1 a recreation1 and to these  
it is good4 ,i am inclined to believe1  
however1 that the game of poker is one  
which a young man will be wisest if he  
does not learn1 since it is almost      
invariably associated with gambling4    
,and gambling at cards1 or gambling or  
betting of any sort whatever1 is a      
practice in which no self-respecting    
young fellow can indulge4 ,it is        
generally the first step downward2 and  

whether it tends in that way or not1 it 
always1 without exception1 has its evil 
effects4 ,therefore it is wisest to shun
 it1 and shun it absolutely4  ,the      
growth of outdoor sports in this country
 has made thousands of young men        
interested in wheeling1 tennis1         
base-ball1 foot-ball1 and kindred       
sports2 and no national sign is more    
encouraging4 ,the deeper the interest   
which every young man evinces in manly  
sports the better it is not only for him
 in every possible way1 but for the     
generation succeeding him4 ,it betokens 
a clean1 healthy mind when a young      
fellow takes an honest1 sincere interest
 in outdoor sports4 ,but the great      
danger is in overdoing this4 ,sports are
 splendid in their place and at their   
time1 but too many of our young men     
allow them to interfere with their      
business interests4 ,a young man in     
business cannot allow his interest in   
base-ball1 or any other sport1 to become
 so absorbing as to take first place in 

his mind4 ,there is no earthly reason   
why an interest in foot-ball1 base-ball1
 or any other sport1 confined within    
proper bounds and at the proper time1   
should not be good4 ,but when a young   
fellow finds that he knows the standing 
of the base-ball clubs in the various   
leagues1 or the names of the players1 or
 their batting average1 better than he  
knows the names of the customers of his 
employer1 or the prices of the goods he 
is paid to sell1 or the discounts of his
 house1 then ,i say his interest is     
directed against his own good4          
,base-ball1 or any other kind of ball1  
is a splendid thing--in its place4 ,nor 
is an interest in any legitimate sport  
or game harmful so long as it is kept   
within bounds and not allowed to occupy 
the mind to the detriment of business   
interests4 ,what are called base-ball   
cranks or bicycle fiends or foot-ball   
enthusiasts are never good business men1
 and their standing in the community is 
on a par with their overwrought         

interest4  ,a young man's social life   
and his indulgences must1 in other      
words1 be tempered with reason and      
common sense4 ,he should have a social  
side to his nature1 but that side must  
not dominate him4 ,if it does1 it       
affects his business interests2 and a   
young man whose thoughts during business
 hours are fixed upon a pleasure of the 
evening before1 or upon a sport of the  
morrow1 soon finds himself outdistanced 
in the race for success by others who   
keep such things in their proper places4
 ,a little common sense here counts for 
much4 ,it counts for everything1 in     
fact4     ,v  ,,sowing ,,his ,,wild     
,,oats   ,it is a common saying1 and a  
belief equally as general1 that it is   
not only essential1 but it is assumed as
 right1 that a young man should1 at some
 time in his life1 sow his wild oats4   
,this sowing of one's wild oats means1  
in plainer words1 that a young man      
should have his fling1 as it is called2 
that is1 he must see the world4  ,now1  

it has always seemed to me a great      
misfortune that the man who framed that 
sentence of sowing wild oats did not die
 before he constructed it4 ,from the way
 some people talk one would imagine that
 every man had instilled into him at his
 birth a certain amount of deviltry1    
which he must get rid of before he can  
become a man of honor4 ,for what is     
called sowing wild oats is nothing more 
nor less than self-degradation to any   
young man4 ,it does not make a man one  
particle more of a man because he has   
passed through a siege of riotous living
 and indiscretion when he was nineteen1 
twenty1 or twenty-five2 it makes him    
just so much less of a man4 ,it dwarfs  
his views of life far more than it      
broadens them4 ,and he realizes this    
afterward4 ,he does not know one iota   
more of life1 except a certain phase of 
it1 which1 if it has glitter for him in 
youth1 becomes a repellent remembrance  
to him when he is matured4 ,the         
reputation and power that comes of right

 living and good character are what the 
man from forty to seventy covets1 and   
nothing but the well-spent years of     
early life can secure these4 ,there is  
no such thing as an investigation period
 in a man's life2 at one period it is as
 important for him to be honorable and  
true to the teachings of his mother as  
at another4  ,to my mind no young man   
need seek this darker side of life which
 the sowing of wild oats means4 ,the    
good ,lord knows that it forces itself  
upon our attention soon enough4 ,it does
 not wait to be sought4 ,a young man    
need not be afraid that he will fail to 
see it4 ,he will see plenty of it1 and  
without any seeking on his part1 either4
 ,and even if he does fail to become    
conversant with it1 he is the gainer in 
the end4 ,there are a great many things 
which we can accept by inference as     
existing in this world4 ,it is not a    
liberal education to see them4 ,too many
 young men have a burning itch to see   
wickedness--not to indulge in it1 as    

they are quick to explain1 but simply to
 see it4 ,but the thousands of men who  
have never seen it have never felt      
themselves the losers4 ,if anything1    
they are glad of it4 ,it does not raise 
a man's ideal to come into contact with 
certain types of manhood or womanhood   
which are only removed from the lowest  
types of the animal kingdom by virtue of
 the fact that the ,creator chose to    
have them get through the world on two  
legs instead of four4 ,the loftiest     
ideal of womanhood that a young man can 
form in his impressionable days will    
prove none too high for him in his years
 of maturity4 ,to be true to the best   
that is within a man means1 above all1  
to be an earnest believer in the very   
best qualities of womanhood4 ,let him   
accept by inference that there are two  
types of woman1 the good and the bad4   
,but he will be wiser and happier if he 
associate only with the former4 ,there  
are hundreds of good women in this world
 to every one of the contrasting        

element4 ,no young man has1 therefore1 a
 valid excuse for seeking the latter4   
,sometimes this sowing of wild oats is  
deemed necessary to insure to a young   
man what is called a broader view of    
life2 whereas1 in reality1 no means that
 could be devised gives him such a      
contracted1 narrow1 and unsatisfactory  
standard4 ,a broad view of life means   
the cultivation of a mind that can take 
in every part of the horizon of the     
truest living2 that can see good in     
everything2 that accepts the good1 and  
rejects1 not investigates1 the bad4 ,we 
can always leave that for some one else 
to do4 ,the outlook from the wheel-house
 of an ocean steamer is far better than 
it is from the stoke-hole4 ,curiosity   
may lead some people to go down and look
 into the stoke-holes of life2 but take 
my word for it1 you will find the       
atmosphere purer and the vision clearer 
if you stay in the wheel-house4 ,to see 
the wheels go round is a very           
instructive thing to do in directions   

where the motive is a good one1 prompted
 by lofty ideas4 ,but some wheels are   
far better unseen4 ,satisfy a healthy   
curiosity always1 but shun the other    
kind4 ,there is no satisfaction to be   
had1 and a man whose curiosity overcomes
 him is always disgusted with the poor  
return he receives for his trouble4     
,the young man who reaches manhood      
without a knowledge of the dark and     
vicious side of human nature is far     
better off than the one who has seen it4
 ,he will lose nothing by not having    
seen it2 not an ounce less of respect   
will be meted out to him4 ,but he will  
feel prouder of himself1 and men will   
respect him infinitely more for the     
strength of his will-power4  ,not long  
since a young fellow wrote to me in this
 connection1 and said in his letter3    
,what's the use of leading a straight   
life8 ,nobody gives you credit for it4  
,society expects a more or less         
diverting life from a young fellow2 it  
accepts him as such4 ,practically1 it   

calls him a 'ninny' if he doesn't       
diverge from the straight path once in a
 while4 ,it only asks of him that he    
shall not be caught4  ,i can scarcely   
imagine a view of life so entirely wrong
 in its personal application4 ,the real 
use of leading a straight life is       
apparently absolutely overlooked by this
 young man1 who seems to think that his 
life is lived for others rather than for
 himself4 ,the use of leading an        
honorable life concerns itself with the 
young man himself4 ,he is accountable to
 himself--to his own conscience1 to his 
own heart4 ,of what possible            
satisfaction is it to get credit from   
others for doing what is best for one's 
self8 ,men do not lead honorable lives  
for the sake of getting credit for      
it--to win the hand of applause4 ,they  
do it for themselves2 for their own     
inner satisfaction1 that they may be    
true to themselves and to the best that 
is within them4  ,aside from this       
paramount fact1 however1 people do give 

a young man credit for the life that he 
leads1 and they are far more often aware
 of it than the young man supposes4 ,but
 it depends upon the people whose favor 
the young man values4 ,if he seeks the  
recognition of what is so wrongly called
 and known as society1 a righteous life1
 an upright life1 an honorable life--in 
other words1 a manly life--may not count
 for so much4 ,but the aimless men and  
silly women who constitute that body    
called society figure for nothing in the
 life of an earnest young man4 ,if1     
however1 he associates with men who in  
his developing days can mean much to    
him1 and whose acquaintance in later    
years will be a pride and a joy to him1 
if he finds company in women who arouse 
his best thoughts and truest motives1 he
 will find that his life1 free from     
blemish1 is appreciated1 is understood1 
is recognized1 and is known4 ,there is  
an indefinable chord which always draws 
the right men to the young man of pure  
life4 ,they are the men who give credit 

to a young fellow who tries to live     
aright1 and they are the only men worth 
his knowing4 ,these men may not openly  
applaud him1 but they will give him     
their confidence1 their good will1 their
 friendship2 and in later years he will 
more fully understand what these        
elements mean to him4 ,these men do not 
call a young man a ninny when he leads  
an upright life2 they call him a manly  
fellow1 and they take him into their    
hearts and into their homes4 ,by the    
best part of mankind a young man is     
always known by his true color4 ,of that
 he need never fear4 ,an adherence to   
high principles shows itself in every   
thought and every action of a young man1
 and it always counts for something and 
much4 ,and as he progresses in life1 and
 a clearer understanding of the right   
kind of living comes to him1 he will see
 with his own eyes that the men who hold
 the true respect of the world are the  
men who were pure-lived and who can     
fearlessly and honestly look every man  

and woman in the eye4     ,,vi  ,,in    
,,matters ,,of ,,dress   ,we may like it
 or not1 but we are judged in this world
 first for what we are1 but also as we  
look2 and a young man's common sense    
should teach him that it is always wise 
to create a good impression4 ,it does   
much for him1 and he cannot afford to   
ignore it4 ,good clothes cannot make a  
young man1 but they are a help2 and when
 carving out a career it is only pure   
justice to himself that he should take  
advantage of every point offered him4   
,in other words1 ,i believe it is a duty
 which every young man owes to himself  
to be well dressed4 ,but to be well     
dressed does not necessarily imply the  
highest-priced clothes1 cut according to
 the latest patterns4 ,it is just as    
possible to be well attired in clothes  
of moderate cost1 so long as they are   
not loud or showy1 but quiet and neat4  
,the average young fellow undoubtedly   
errs in this matter of dress4 ,with his 
tastes unfixed1 in the majority of cases

 he goes to either one of two extremes3 
he either dresses shabbily because he   
claims he cannot afford to do otherwise1
 or he goes to the other extreme and    
tries to imitate the styles affected by 
the extremists in dress1 and necessarily
 makes himself an object of ridicule4   
,clothes are moderate enough in price   
nowadays to make it possible for every  
young man1 no matter how humble his     
income1 to be neatly attired4 ,the      
secret of a neat appearance in dress    
does not depend upon the number of suits
 he may have1 but upon the manner in    
which even a single suit is taken care  
of and how it is worn4 ,many a young man
 with a wardrobe of but two suits of    
clothes looks neater than another who   
has five or six suits with which to     
alternate4 ,the art of looking well     
depends1 first1 upon the choice of a    
suit1 and1 second1 how it is taken care 
of4 ,if a young man has a moderate      
income he should make it a point to     
select only the quiet patterns of dark  

colors4 ,not only is this more          
economical1 but it is in better taste   
than are the lighter and more           
conspicuous clothes4 ,if a young man    
will look around him a bit1 he will find
 that the successful men of the day are 
always the most quiet dressers4 ,their  
clothes are never conspicuous2 they     
detract rather than attract attention4  
,it is only the fop of shallow mind who 
invites attention by his dress4 ,there  
is a certain class of pictures that     
require elaborate gilt frames in order  
to set off the little merit they        
possess2 and likewise are there scores  
of men who must dress conspicuously in  
order to gain even the most meager      
attention4 ,men who are least certain of
 their position always dress the        
showiest4 ,hence if a young man dresses 
quietly and neatly he pursues not only  
the best1 but the only wise course4 ,his
 dress is a pretty accurate reflection  
of his character1 and very often he is  
judged1 to a certain extent1 by the     

taste which he shows in his clothes4    
,but while a young man injures himself  
by showy dressing1 he has no business to
 dress shabbily4 ,shabby clothes are no 
longer an eccentricity of genius4 ,there
 are men of genius who have achieved    
deserved fame and substantial success   
who are absolutely indifferent to their 
appearance4 ,and the world overlooks and
 forgives it4 ,but this is only possible
 with men of commanding genius who are  
established2 and the young man who takes
 these men as models so far as attire   
goes makes a sorry mistake4 ,it is given
 to men of high position and of         
established success to follow a great   
many little eccentricities which are not
 overlooked in a young man struggling   
for a career4  ,aside from the aspect of
 mere appearance1 neatness in dress is  
undoubtedly a great inner and outer     
factor in a young man's success4 ,a neat
 suit of clothes communicates a sense of
 neatness to the body1 and1 in turn1    
this sense of neatness of the person is 

extended to the work in hand4 ,as we    
feel1 so unquestionably do we work4 ,our
 clothes unmistakably affect our        
feelings1 as any man knows who has      
experienced the different sensation that
 comes to him when attired in a new suit
 from the feeling when wearing old      
clothes4 ,no employer expects his clerks
 of moderate incomes to dress in the    
immediate fashions1 but he likes to see 
them neat in appearance4 ,it commends   
them to his attention4 ,we all have an  
inner consciousness that a young man who
 keeps himself looking neat and clean is
 more worthy of our confidence than he  
who is regardless of his appearance and 
looks soiled and shabby4 ,neatness      
always attracts1 just as shabbiness     
invariably repulses4  ,particularly     
would ,i emphasize the value of clean   
linen to a young man4 ,there is no      
earthly excuse why any young fellow     
should wear soiled collars or cuffs4    
,soap and water are within the reach of 
the smallest purse1 and the home or the 

outer laundry is accessible to all4 ,no 
single element in his dress cuts more of
 a figure in a young man's success than 
his linen4 ,however worn may be his     
clothes1 his appearance always invites  
closer proximity when his linen is      
clean4  ,i do not wish to be understood 
as making too much of dress as a factor 
in a young man's life4 ,but ,i believe  
in it sufficiently1 and ,i have seen    
evidences again and again to strengthen 
that belief1 that no young fellow       
anxious for his self-betterment can     
afford to slight his appearance4 ,no    
fair computation can be offered as to   
what percentage of his income he should 
expend on his dress4 ,that depends      
altogether too much on circumstances4   
,but ,i thoroughly believe and strongly 
counsel that he should dress as well as 
his means allow2 no better1 but no      
worse4 ,money spent on a neat appearance
 is never wasted with a man1 be he young
 or old4 ,the chief danger which the    
young man has to battle with is dressing

 beyond his means4 ,a tendency toward   
extravagance is never justifiable1 no   
matter what may be his income4          
,extravagance is always wasteful4 ,but  
neither must he economize too closely4  
,in a word1 he should strive always to  
look neat2 to present the best          
appearance he can4  ,the extreme styles 
presented in men's clothes are like the 
extreme styles fashioned for women3 they
 should be left for those who have large
 wardrobes4 ,the young man of limited   
wardrobe cannot afford to have anything 
in it which is in the immediate style   
one year and out of fashion the next    
year4 ,quiet patterns in clothes1 in    
cravats1 in shoes1 and in linen are     
always in style4 ,the marvelous         
combinations we see in young men's      
clothes1 of extreme long coats1 of light
 cloths and large patterns in suitings1 
of razor-pointed shoes1 of pink shirts1 
white collars1 and blue cravats1 are    
generally worn by extremists in dress1  
or by those of mediocre tastes whose    

exhibition of those tastes always keeps 
them in the lower stations of life4     
,these styles should never be affected  
by the young man who wishes to gain the 
confidence of his superiors in business1
 or the respect of the people in social 
life whose friendships will be of value 
and benefit to him4 ,a young man1 so far
 as this matter of dress is concerned1  
cannot do better than always to remember
 this one inflexible rule3 that the best
 dressers among men follow the same     
method as do the best dressers among    
women--they dress well1 but quietly4    
,and quiet dressing is always in good   
taste4     ,,vii  ,,his ,,religious     
,,life   ,when a writer seeks to present
 the religious life a being1 be he young
 man or patriarch1 it naturally follows 
that he can only be general in what he  
says4 ,religion is too much a matter of 
one's innermost feelings1 of one's own  
convictions1 to be governed by rule or  
example4 ,but in these days of men more 
or less wise1 when many of the truths   

which our forefathers held sacred are   
being discussed in so-called new lights1
 and when the convictions of many are   
disturbed by reason of these new        
doctrines1 it is well1 ,i think1 that   
young men should bear in mind one or two
 fundamental truths so far as the       
religious side of their lives is        
concerned4  ,it is not within the       
province of this book to treat either of
 dogmas or creeds1 or of the necessity  
of church-going2 but it does come within
 its lines to say these words to every  
young man who reads this chapter3  ,no  
matter what present revelations or      
subsequent discoveries may prove or seek
 to disprove as to religious teachings1 
one great essential can never be        
altered1 and that is the necessity of a 
firm faith1 an absolute belief1 that a  
wise ,god rules over this universe and  
over the destiny of each and every      
living man1 woman1 or child4 ,whatever  
constitutes that ,god is not for us to  
solve4 ,the wisest of us can only dimly 

comprehend it4 ,our minds are finite2   
the ,spirit who rules us is infinite2   
and nothing finite can comprehend or    
understand the infinite4 ,enough is it  
for us to know that there is a ,god1    
that there is a ,supreme ,being1 a      
,creator1 a ,ruler4 ,that is all it is  
given us to know4 ,it is all that the   
new-born infant can know2 it is all that
 the finest and keenest mentality ever  
given to man can know4 ,but that there  
is a great ,creator no one can doubt2   
everything in nature points to that one 
fact2 and the young man who refuses to  
believe in the existence of a ,god makes
 the greatest and most momentous mistake
 of his life4 ,without that faith1      
without that absolute conviction1 he is 
not only hindered or crippled in        
whatever he undertakes1 but he is simply
 helpless4 ,on that point he cannot     
afford to err2 to doubt it1 even in the 
light of the most advanced knowledge    
that can ever be presented1 he cannot   
for one single moment allow himself4    

,this much is absolute4  ,another point 
is like unto it1 and it is that every   
person can go to that ,creator and      
,dispenser of all good1 and receive1    
through supplication1 guidance in all   
affairs4 ,this is but another way of    
expressing an earnest1 a heartfelt1 an  
honest belief in prayer4 ,whatever      
arguments may be brought to bear upon   
this question1 one thing remains        
undisputed3 that an honest and earnest  
prayer sent forth from the human heart  
to its ,heavenly ,father1 for guidance  
or for help1 is sure1 and absolutely    
sure1 to bring strength and             
enlightenment to the mind4 ,no          
scientific analysis can refute this4    
,too many millions of people have       
experienced the truth of this in their  
lives4 ,argument on this point is       
pointless2 it is fruitless4 ,a young man
 might as well argue that he loved his  
mother4 ,conscious experience does more 
than theoretical argument1 and that     
conscious experience has taught the     

happiest men and the best women who ever
 lived that there is a direct           
communication between ,god and the      
humblest person who ever lived1 and that
 a prayer for guidance sent from the    
heart of man to that ,god is never lost4
 ,there is in every man and woman not   
alone substance of material matter1 but 
a spiritual nature which1 if kept in    
daily contact with its ,god1 finds a    
response such as can come from no finite
 source4 ,this truth no young man can   
hesitate to believe--the efficacy of    
prayer4 ,it requires no creed to believe
 it1 no dogma1 no form of religion4 ,it 
is a simple belief that to ask a        
heavenly guidance in all things good and
 right means a fruition of the highest  
and best hopes of a man4  ,with this    
absolute faith in the existence of a    
,god1 and in prayer1 only one thing more
 is needed to complete the fundamental  
basis of all religions--an honest effort
 to live according to our conscience and
 to the best and truest that is within  

ourselves4  ,here1 then1 is a simple    
religion for any young man4 ,if his     
heart craves it and his mind can compass
 it1 he can go deeper into the question 
and believe more4 ,but less he cannot   
accept4 ,nor1 if he is wise1 will he    
wish to accept less4 ,all objections    
fall before so simple a code of belief4 
,it asks for no great mental capacity2  
it is beyond the mental power of none4  
,the rising and setting of the sun1 the 
coming of the seasons1 the downfall of  
night upon day1 the birth of a child1   
the death of a man--everything proves to
 the humblest mind that this is a       
religion which it can accept without    
hesitancy1 without a single misgiving4  
,when we go beyond these fundamental    
principles we go into questions which   
are complex and open to individual      
construction4 ,however a young man may  
decide for himself those questions1 he  
cannot shirk the three points ,i have   
dwelt upon4 ,they will teach him a      
respect for all sacred things1 without  

which no man can earn respect for       
himself4 ,they will teach him charity   
for the faults of others1 without which 
none can hope for leniency for his own  
shortcomings4 ,they will teach him to   
hold out the helping hand to others1    
without which he can himself never      
succeed4 ,they will keep him close to   
the teachings and the beliefs of his    
mother1 without which a young man is    
untrue to the source from which he      
sprang4  ,i think1 so far as church     
attendance is concerned1 that a young   
man serves his best interests if he is a
 regular attendant at some form of      
worship4 ,i do not say he should or     
must2 ,i simply believe he is wisest if 
he does identify himself with some      
religious body which comes closest to   
his tastes and beliefs4 ,whatever be the
 faults of the church as an institution1
 a young man must never forget the fact 
that it is an order born of ,god1 that  
he sanctioned it1 and that if it has its
 shortcomings it is simply because man  

is not perfect4 ,young men with their   
critical faculties on the alert are     
prone to discover some single defect1 or
 what looks to them as a defect1 in some
 church with which they are acquainted1 
and foolishly condemn the church as an  
institution4 ,or they will see hypocrisy
 stand out bold and clear in some man or
 woman known as a devout attendant at   
church1 and they condemn                
church-membership as a whole and        
belittle the influence of religious     
teachings4 ,this is wrong1 and hence it 
is unfair4 ,none of us would think of   
condemning all the sweet flowers that   
grow simply because of a few that are   
poisonous to the touch4 ,or1 because we 
know some women who do not follow       
righteous lives1 we certainly would not 
condemn the entire sex of women1 which  
would necessarily include our own       
mother4 ,we cannot condemn the many     
because of the few4 ,a young man should 
keep his mind fixed on the purposes of  
the church as an institution1 and those 

purposes affect him for the reason that 
the church is to-day the balancing power
 between this earth being a chaos and   
what it is4 ,it is the greatest         
safeguard to home and society2 and      
because of the fact that it is such a   
powerful safeguard1 many things are made
 possible for him which1 without the    
church1 it would be impossible for him  
to enjoy4 ,the church is an             
indispensable factor in our modern life1
 and it holds out more possibilities for
 good to a young man than any other     
single institution4 ,its influence is   
always sure1 and he can depend upon it4 
,the best people of our land are its    
upholders4 ,the most successful men are 
among its believers and worship at its  
altar4 ,worship--true worship of the    
heart--does not imply a sickly          
sentimentality1 as some young men       
believe2 to go to church is not babyish1
 nor to stay away from it smart4 ,a true
 belief in the church and its           
fundamental teachings is one of the     

manliest qualities which one can        
possess4 ,in its atmosphere of worship  
the spiritual--that is1 the softer and  
gentler--side of man dominates the      
material side1 and to a young man in the
 race for success this is all-essential4
 ,no young fellow can afford either to  
disbelieve in the church or to scoff at 
its workings or influence4 ,the methods 
pursued may not always be to our liking 
or to our way of thinking1 but that is1 
as ,i have said before1 simply because  
earthly hands minister over it4 ,but its
 aim is divine1 and that every young man
 must believe and accept as a belief4   
,and here let me say a word touching the
 application of religious principles to 
a young man's business life4 ,the       
question is asked1 and as often         
discussed3 ,is a life built upon        
religious principles really compatible  
with a young man's business success8 ,or
 sometimes it is put3 ,does it really   
pay to be honest in business8 ,or again3
 ,can a young fellow be religious and   

yet successful8 ,of course all are but  
variations of the same question4  ,now  
the simple fact of the matter boiled    
down is that a business success is      
absolutely impossible upon any other    
basis than an honorable one1 followed   
upon lines of the very strictest        
honesty4  ,the great trouble with young 
men is that their ideas are altogether  
too much influenced by a few unfortunate
 examples of apparent success which are 
prominent--too prominent1 alas6--in     
,american life to-day4 ,these examples1 
for the most part representing          
politicians1 are regarded in the eyes of
 the world as successful2 that is1 they 
are talked about incessantly2           
interviewed by reporters2 they lavishly 
buy diamonds for their wives and build  
costly houses2 and all these are duly   
reported in the newspapers4 ,young men  
read these things and ask themselves1   
,if he can1 why not ,i8 ,then they begin
 to look around for some short cut to   
success1 as one young fellow expressed  

it to me not long since4 ,and it is     
precisely through this method of cutting
 across lots in business that scores of 
young men find themselves1 after a      
while1 completely baffled4 ,and the man 
who has once had about him an unsavory  
taint in his business methods           
rarely--very rarely--rids himself of    
that atmosphere in the eyes of his      
confreres4 ,how often we see some young 
man in business representative of the   
very best qualities that should win     
success6 ,every one agrees that he is   
brilliant4 ,he is clever1 is the general
 verdict4 ,he impresses one well in his 
manner1 he is thoroughly businesslike1  
is energetic1 and yet1 somehow or other1
 he never seems to get into a place and 
stick there4 ,people wonder at it1 and  
excuse it on the ground that he has not 
quite found his right place4 ,but some  
day the secret is explained4 ,yes1 he is
 clever1 says some old business man1    
but1 don't you know1 he isn't--well1 he 
isn't just safe6 ,just safe6 ,how much  

that expresses2 how clearly that defines
 hundreds and hundreds of the smartest  
young men in business to-day6 ,he is    
everything else1 but he isn't just safe6
 ,he is not dishonest in any way1 but he
 is1 what is equally as bad1 not quite  
reliable4 ,to attain success he has1 in 
other words1 tried to cut across lots4  
,and rainbow-chasing is really a very   
commendable business in comparison with 
a young man's search for the royal road 
to success4 ,no success worth attaining 
is easy2 the greater the obstacles to   
overcome the surer is the success when  
attained4 ,royal roads are poor highways
 to travel in any pursuit1 and          
especially in a business calling4  ,it  
is strange how reluctant young men are  
to accept as the most vital truth in    
life that the most absolute honesty is  
the only kind of honesty that succeeds  
in business4 ,it is not a question of   
religion or religious beliefs4 ,honesty 
does not depend upon any religious creed
 or dogma that was ever conceived4 ,it  

is a question of a young man's own      
conscience4 ,he knows what is right and 
what is wrong4 ,and yet1 simple as the  
matter is1 it is astonishing how        
difficult it is of understanding4 ,an   
honest course in business seems too slow
 to the average young man4 ,i can't     
afford to plod along4 ,i must strike1   
and strike quickly1 is the sentiment4   
,ah yes1 my friend1 but not dishonestly4
 ,no young man can afford to even think 
of dishonesty4 ,success on honorable    
lines may sometimes seem slower in      
coming1 but when it does come it        
outrivals in permanency all the         
so-called successes gained by other     
methods4 ,to look at the methods of     
others is always a mistake4 ,the        
successes of to-day are not given to the
 imitator1 but to the originator4 ,it   
makes no difference how other men may   
succeed--their success is theirs and not
 yours4 ,you cannot partake of it4      
,every man is a law unto himself4 ,the  
most absolute integrity is the one and  

the only sure foundation of success4    
,such a success is lasting and the only 
one which wins respect4 ,other kinds of 
successes may seem so1 but it is all in 
the seeming and not in the reality4 ,let
 a young man swerve from the path of    
honesty and it will surprise him how    
quickly every avenue of a lasting       
success is closed against him4 ,making  
money dishonestly is the most difficult 
thing to accomplish in the world1 just  
as lying is the practice most wearing to
 the mind4 ,it is the young man of      
unquestioned integrity who is selected  
for the important position4 ,no business
 man ever places his business in the    
hands of a young man whom he feels he   
cannot absolutely trust4 ,and to be     
trusted means to be honest4 ,honesty1   
and that alone1 commands confidence4 ,an
 honest life well directed is the only  
life for a young man to lead4 ,it is the
 one life that is compatible with the   
largest and surest business success4  ,a
 religious life1 whether in business or 

out of business1 is one which every     
young man not only should1 but can      
follow4 ,it partakes of no gloom1 as    
many suppose2 it means no depression of 
spirits4 ,it means simply the living of 
an upright life1 a life of              
respectability4 ,religion is nothing    
more nor less than an adherence to the  
simple code ,i have presented3 a        
recognition of a ,god1 and an allegiance
 in manner of life to that ,god4 ,and   
that manner of living is simply a       
healthy development of the spiritual    
nature--keeping close to one's best     
instincts4 ,the communion of a man with 
his ,creator comes with such a manner of
 living4 ,but this is all that a        
religious life means4 ,that comprises   
true religion1 at once the easiest and  
the safest element for any young man to 
take into his life4 ,it will stand the  
severest test1 and will prove a         
veritable ,rock of ,gibraltar to him in 
time of anxiety and trouble4     ,,viii 
,,his ,,attitude ,,toward ,,women   ,the

 attitude which a young man assumes     
toward women is one of the surest       
index-fingers to his character1 and     
nothing stamps him with such unerring   
accuracy before men4 ,and if this be    
true in a general sense of his attitude 
toward the whole sex1 it applies with   
particular force to his position as son4
 ,as is the son so will be the husband1 
is a well-known saying1 and it is       
likewise true that as is the son so is  
the man4 ,when a young man reverences   
his mother it is easy for him to believe
 in the nobility of the sex to which she
 belongs4 ,and it is a correct belief4  
,that women are morally better and      
spiritually nobler than men should be   
believed by every young man4 ,no ideal  
of the best and truest qualities of     
womanhood is too high for him to set for
 himself4 ,such a belief of his young   
manhood will become a conviction of his 
later manhood4 ,i know that it is the   
fashion of some men to speak lightly of 
women and womanhood2 and young men in   

their susceptible years are sometimes   
apt to listen to these low standards1   
and inclined to accept them or be       
influenced by them4 ,but of one thing   
every young fellow may be assured3 that 
the man who speaks of woman in any but  
the most respectful terms is either a   
knave or a fool--very often he is both4 
,and this is one of the few rules in    
life to which there is no exception4 ,i 
wish that young men would more closely  
associate their mothers with women in   
general1 and realize that every slur    
cast upon women as a sex is a slur upon 
their mothers4 ,this is the feeling     
which prompted ,general ,grant to give a
 lesson in politeness which will always 
be told of him4 ,the story is doubtless 
familiar to all how one evening an      
officer came into camp1 and in a        
rollicking mood said to those assembled3
  ,i have such a rich story that ,i want
 to tell you4 ,there are no women       
present1 are there8  ,whereupon ,general
 ,grant1 lifting his eyes from the paper

 which he was reading1 and looking his  
officer square in the eye1 said slowly1 
but deliberately3  ,no1 but there are   
gentlemen present4  ,the rebuke was     
masterly1 and it is one which young men 
cannot too vividly remember4  ,nothing  
in this world stamps a man more         
decisively in the eyes of his fellow-men
 than the practice of telling off-color 
stories in which women are concerned4 ,i
 have often seen this practice followed1
 but never yet have ,i seen a single    
instance when the story-teller did not  
lower himself in the estimation of his  
listeners4 ,men are prone to laugh at   
these stories when they are told them2  
but privately ,i have noticed that they 
form their own opinion of the man who   
tells them1 and the opinion is always of
 one kind4 ,it is the man who upholds   
womanhood who commands the respect of   
other men2 the man who attempts to lower
 it invariably invites their distrust4  
,the men who hold that every woman has  
her price are the men who1 in the       

estimation of other men1 have no price  
at all1 commercially1 socially1 or      
morally4 ,the man who uses such an      
expression regarding woman simply apes  
the smart utterance of the first fool   
that ,god ever made1 and after whose    
pattern all the other fools in this     
world were created4 ,a man who truly    
loves his mother1 wife1 sister1 or      
sweetheart never tells a story which    
lowers her sex in the eyes of others4   
,he who tells such a story is always    
lacking in some one respect1 and        
generally it is common decency4 ,i have 
dwelt upon this point because ,i should 
like young fellows to believe more      
firmly than they do that it is not      
caddishness or babyishness or           
goody-goodyness to refuse to listen to a
 story which makes light of women2 it is
 one of the manliest qualities which a  
young fellow can show1 and deep down in 
his heart every man will respect a young
 man for such a position4 ,the higher   
order of men never forget that1 being   

born of woman1 they owe an obligation to
 their mother's sex which1 as loyal sons
 and true gentlemen1 forbids them to    
listen without protest to offensive     
stories in which woman is concerned4    
,and no young man can listen to this    
class of stories without offending his  
mother1 his sister1 or the girl who a   
little later will teach him1 through her
 own sweet life1 that whatever is said  
to the moral detriment of her sex is a  
lie1 and a reflection upon the two women
 who1 one at the beginning of his life  
and the other at its ending1 will prove 
his best friends--his mother and his    
wife4  ,it has often been said before1  
but it is one of those truths which can 
as often be said again1 that a woman is 
a man's truest and most loving friend1  
first1 last1 and all the time4 ,and     
particularly is this so of a mother4 ,i 
know perfectly well that young men are  
apt sometimes to think that their       
mothers are unreasonable4 ,and they are1
 sometimes1 undoubtedly1 and a little   

selfish1 too4 ,but one point must not be
 forgotten3 it is an unreasonableness   
and a selfishness born of a mother's    
surest instinct for the best interests  
of her boy4 ,i can look back to my      
earliest years of young manhood and see 
where1 again and again1 ,i thought my   
mother was either wrong or unreasonable 
or prone to be a trifle too cautious4   
,but ,i can also look back now1 and ,i  
cannot see one instance in which        
after-events did not prove her to be    
right4 ,and to-day it is easy to say    
that if it has been given me to achieve 
even the smallest measure of success in 
my life thus far1 it is all and entirely
 due to the influence of my mother1 and 
to my absolute confidence in that       
influence4 ,no woman has been so much to
 me1 no woman is more to me at this     
moment that ,i write1 than she who is my
 mother1 my confidante1 my truest and   
best friend--always watchful1 always    
loving1 always true1 always the same4   
,and gladly do ,i write this loving     

tribute to her1 grateful that ,i can    
place it in her hands rather than on her
 grave4  ,there is no deeper or greater 
satisfaction to a man than to be able to
 have his mother live to see him fairly 
launched on a successful career of      
usefulness4 ,if his father dies before  
he has made his mark in the world he    
does not seem to feel it so keenly4 ,but
 somehow he always wants his mother to  
live long enough to see for herself that
 she did not give him life for naught1  
and that the world is a little better   
off for the being which she gave unto   
it4 ,there wells up within his nature a 
peculiar sense of pride when some day   
his mother comes quietly to him1 and    
putting her arms around his neck1 says1 
with all the tenderness of a mother's   
love1 ,you have done well1 my boy4 ,now 
,i am content to go4 ,no matter how hard
 a man may have worked1 such approval   
comes to him as his sweetest and richest
 reward4 ,the applause of the world is  
little compared with such a motherly    

benediction1 and more precious to him is
 the remembrance of that short sentence 
in after years than all the honors that 
can be showered upon him or the riches  
that may come to him4 ,it has been my   
privilege to hear this sacred thought   
from the lips of more than one of the   
most famous of ,american men--men who   
are to-day leaders in their professions1
 others who have gone to their graves   
crowned with the ripest honors and      
fullest laurels of the world4  ,for men1
 even in their most mature years1 are1  
after all1 nothing but grown boys4 ,the 
fond stroke of a mother's hand is as    
welcome at forty as at fourteen4 ,the   
world never looks so bright to a man as 
when he sits at his mother's side with  
her arms around him4 ,a woman never     
seems so gentle as when she fondly      
strokes the recreant lock from his brow1
 after a trying day1 and says1 in that  
voice so familiar1 but ever sweet1 ,you 
are tired1 are you not1 dear8 ,ah1 those
 women who come into a room when a man  

is almost worn out1 and bring new life  
and new hope and new spirit with them6  
,those ,god-inspired mothers who say so 
much in a smile1 who speak so lovingly  
to us in a look1 who send a thrill of   
confidence through a man in a tender    
pressure of the hand6 ,they know us so  
well4 ,they knew us when we were        
children1 but how much better they know 
us when we are men6 ,we try to convince 
them that we are no longer boys1 but    
only a quiet little smile and a fond    
little petting shows us the fallacy of  
our own words4 ,they stroke our cheeks1 
and somehow the mind seems more restful 
and the brain ceases to throb4 ,the     
things we try to hide from them are the 
very things we tell them about4 ,they   
know with a single look just what is    
troubling us1 and although they never   
ask us1 we pour out to them our worries 
just as we did when we were children4   
,the quarrels of the playground have    
only become the worries of business1 and
 the baby of the cradle has simply      

become the baby of the mother's heart4  
,it is easy for a man to think well of  
woman when he can look at her through   
the eyes of a good mother4 ,and it is   
this which ,i want every young fellow to
 do4 ,his mother should be the central  
figure of womanhood to him--his ideal1  
his standard2 and while necessarily     
other women will suffer in comparison1  
it will only be in the respect that to  
the one he is a son1 while to the others
 he is a man4 ,the tenderest solicitude 
which a young man can show to his       
mother1 the most unremitting care he can
 give her1 are none too good for the    
life he owes to her4 ,and the more      
tender his feelings for her the stronger
 he will find his faith grow in her sex4
 ,there is no influence to be compared  
with that of a good woman over the life 
of a young man4 ,it means everything to 
him1 his success in every phase of life4
 ,men are by nature coarse and brutal2  
it is the influence of woman which      
softens them4 ,and we ought to be       

softened as much as we can4 ,the good   
,lord knows we need it badly enough4    
,but no influence is productive of the  
best and surest results unless we make  
ourselves susceptible to it4 ,if we lack
 faith in woman1 if we fail in the right
 ideal of womanhood1 all her influence  
will be as naught upon us4 ,from the    
beginning of the world woman has been   
man's leader4 ,she has made him what he 
is to-day4 ,all the qualities which we  
admire in men come from woman's         
influence4 ,and a young man starting out
 in life cannot trust to an influence so
 sure and so safe as that which comes to
 him from the being of whose life he is 
a part1 or in whose heart he finds a    
supreme place4 ,man's best friend is the
 woman who loves him4 ,that should be   
the faith of every young man toward     
woman2 that should be his absolute      
conviction1 and he should show it by an 
attitude of respect and deference toward
 her4     ,,ix  ,,the ,,question ,,of   
,,marriage   ,necessarily the question  

of marriage to a young man is an        
important one--perhaps the most         
important that is given him to solve    
when he reaches a marriageable age4 ,to 
some young men it is easy of solution4  
,they fall in love with some girl who   
occupies their every thought1 they are  
married1 and1 as the story-books        
generally have it1 they live happily    
ever afterward4 ,but to others it takes 
the form of a problem4 ,they are        
troubled with sentimental perplexities2 
and if these do not enter into the      
matter1 then it is either a question of 
the right girl1 the means with which to 
marry1 or the proper age4 ,that the     
matter takes on one of these phases with
 the majority of young men there can be 
no doubt1 since few men marry the girl  
who first strikes their fancy4  ,the    
first point to present in this question 
of marriage is the principle of it3 that
 it is unquestionably for the good of   
almost every young man that he shall    
marry4 ,there are no two sides to this  

for the great majority of young men4 ,of
 course there are reasons why a man1 in 
some special instance1 should choose to 
lead a single life2 in fact1 there are  
excellent reasons why it is best that   
some men should4 ,i have known men to   
have inner conflicts with themselves for
 years1 and then resolutely decide upon 
celibacy4 ,such decisions make heroes of
 some men4 ,there are circumstances     
which sometimes enter into a man's life 
that make celibacy judicious and        
wise--circumstances not of his own      
choosing4 ,there are men whose lofty    
estimate of women will not permit of    
their asking a woman to share what ,god 
in his wisdom has chosen to have them   
bear4 ,that type of men exists4 ,but to 
the majority of men it is decreed to    
marry and that they shall live in       
marriage4  ,when a young man            
deliberately lays out for himself a     
single life based upon any other than   
the strongest physical or mental        
reasons1 he makes the mistake of his    

lifetime4 ,if a young man refuses to    
marry because of a lack of faith in     
womanhood1 or a distrust of the         
existence of those qualities generally  
attributed to woman1 he errs1 and he    
errs fatally4 ,and the best evidence of 
this is found in the incontrovertible   
fact that the happiest men in the world 
to-day are the men who have believed in 
good womanhood1 and have shown that     
belief by taking a good woman into their
 hearts and homes4 ,there can be no     
disputing the fact that a man's life is 
never complete in its fullest happiness 
until that life is made whole and       
complete by the love of a true woman4   
,the simplest reference to the history  
of men since the creation of the world  
will demonstrate the truth of this      
assertion4 ,man has done nothing without
 woman2 without her counsel he has      
become as a cipher in the world4 ,left  
alone1 aside from the question of       
influence1 he is helpless4 ,no man ever 
lived who knows1 for example1 how to    

take care of himself4 ,the absence of a 
wife from home has demonstrated to many 
a man how large and important a part she
 is of it and of him4 ,the right kind of
 a wife knows better what is essential  
to her husband's comfort than he does   
himself--far better4 ,he waits for      
illness to come1 and then combats it1   
frequently when too late4 ,but the wife 
sees the symptoms and uses preventives4 
,her keen insight tells her that her    
husband is unwell when sometimes he is  
not conscious of it himself4 ,women1 we 
are told1 know little of business2 yet  
when business troubles come to a man a  
good wife is the source of all comfort  
to him4 ,when he despairs she is        
hopeful4 ,by her influence1 perhaps1    
more than by what she actually          
accomplishes1 she brings new hope1 new  
courage1 and points the way to a new    
beginning4 ,how often women have been   
the means of averting business disasters
 or the multiplying of failures with    
further implications the world will     

never know2 but there are men who know  
it1 and they are the men of whom to ask1
 ,is marriage a failure8  ,it is an     
unfortunate fact that some men never get
 to a point where they understand woman4
 ,and yet to know woman1 to properly    
understand her1 to correctly interpret  
her best motives1 is the deepest lesson 
that life can teach a man4 ,every man   
with a fair mind who clasps a good woman
 to his breast and calls her mother1    
wife1 or sister will understand the     
import of these words4 ,how a man can be
 a hater of woman ,i cannot conceive    
when through her so much can be added to
 his life4 ,nothing is such an incentive
 to a man to make the best of himself as
 the knowledge that there is some one in
 the world who believes he is just the  
cleverest fellow alive2 that there are  
eyes1 far lovelier than all the stars in
 heaven to him1 which sparkle at his    
coming2 that there is a loving1 womanly 
heart which beats quicker at the sound  
of his footsteps2 that there is a nature

 ever ready to sympathize with him in   
his troubles and gladden at his         
victories--a dear1 sweet1 loving woman1 
who laughs with him1 and puts her soft1 
loving arms around him when he is in    
trouble1 rouses him to his better self1 
making him feel that1 after all1 this   
world is not such a bad place to live   
in4 ,this1 as many a man knows1 is not a
 picture drawn from fancy2 it finds its 
living reflection in thousands of homes 
all through this land and across the    
sea1 in homes where men are happiest and
 where women are most content4  ,the    
bachelor is ofttimes happy in his single
 state--that is1 for a bachelor4 ,he may
 console himself with the reflection    
that he accounts only to himself1 that  
he is his own master1 can go where he   
will and do as he chooses so long as he 
obeys the laws of society and of the    
land2 but in his heart he knows he is   
but half of a complete thing4 ,he knows 
that there is something lacking in his  
life which1 if supplied1 would make the 

complete whole4 ,business success may   
come to him1 wealth may be his2 but one 
way or another he feels the absence of  
some one to enjoy his successes with    
him4 ,he wonders why it is that he does 
not always put forth his best efforts4  
,he marvels whether1 after all1 a man   
does not need something outside of      
himself to draw him on and incite him to
 his utmost exertions4 ,he may be       
courted for his money1 he may have      
friendships innumerable1 every comfort  
may be in his rooms2 yet moments come to
 him when persistent thought points to  
something lacking in his life to round  
it out4 ,travel as he will1 live on the 
best the world can provide1 he feels1 as
 ,i have heard it said of the           
millionaire owner of one of the greatest
 newspapers in the land1 roaming from   
one land to another1 that few men are   
ofttimes more miserable in their daily  
lives than is he4 ,he has everything the
 heart can wish for2 more wealth than he
 can spend2 costly residences on this   

side of the ocean and on the other2     
swift yachts are his1 and swifter       
horses4 ,yet1 while driving one day1 and
 seeing in a passing carriage a man of  
his acquaintance sitting beside a       
devoted wife and two children1 he said  
to a friend1 ,that man's whole fortune  
is not one half of my yearly income1 and
 yet his life is a far happier one4 ,and
 when his friend asked him in what the  
other's happiness exceeded his1 ,james  
,gordon ,bennett replied1 ,in having a  
good wife1 and a lovely child for each  
knee4  ,of the wisdom of marriage itself
 there can be no question4 ,the knotty  
little problems which enter into it are 
another matter4 ,some of them find      
expression in the choice of the right   
girl4 ,and here1 naturally1 is a        
question which no one can decide for    
another4 ,it is a man's heart which     
directs him to the woman whom he wants  
for his wife1 never the finger of the   
adviser4 ,love pointeth surely is an old
 proverb1 and it is as true to-day as   

upon the day it was written4 ,many a    
young man1 however1 stands undecided on 
this question of marriage4 ,he believes 
that the only holy marriage1 the only   
marriage from which can spring          
happiness1 is that born of love4 ,the   
girl with whom such a marriage is       
possible is perhaps within his eye4 ,he 
loves her1 he feels1 and yet he         
hesitates4 ,why he hesitates he cannot  
sometimes explain4 ,sometimes there is  
another girl in the case1 whom he       
acknowledges to himself he does not love
 quite so well1 and yet he feels that   
she would bring to him something that   
the other girl does not3 a certain      
social advancement1 perhaps1 a          
furtherance of his business interests1  
or an advantage of one kind or another4 
,again1 there are young men who feel    
drawn toward accepting the girl of their
 own heart and choice1 but are withheld 
by parental opposition1 or1 if not      
exactly opposition1 that parental       
indifference or coldness which is even  

more chilling and killing than open     
antagonism4 ,they want the girl1 and yet
 they do not want to offend their       
parents2 or perhaps1 as in some cases1  
it is friends that are considered4 ,and 
so hesitancy and perplexity come in4    
,the heart leads one way1 some other    
interest or consideration draws another4
  ,it is to the mind of such a young man
 that a girl awakens divers feelings1   
many of which are mistaken for love4 ,it
 is love which draws him one way2 it is 
an inherent sense of mere possession    
that draws him the other4 ,and ,i am    
very free in saying that some young men 
are actuated in marrying simply because 
of this sense of mere possession4 ,nor  
do ,i mean the word possession here as  
applying to property4 ,to marry a girl  
for her money is the most contemptuous  
act of which a man can be capable4 ,it  
dwarfs him and it dwarfs the woman upon 
whom he inflicts the wrong4 ,but it is  
the notion which gets into the heads of 
so many young men to marry a girl       

because of the possession of some trait1
 some art1 some grace1 which they have  
not themselves1 and the girl's          
possession of it attracts them4         
,sometimes it is the girl's talent2 at  
other times her education1 or her       
traveled knowledge2 again it is her     
beauty1 her social graces1 her ability  
to appear well1 to dress well1 to       
entertain well4 ,the young man          
associates such a girl in his mind as a 
part of an establishment which is the   
dream of his young manhood4 ,she would  
look well2 she would always be able to  
entertain his friends1 to help him in   
achieving a certain position2 and he    
feels that he would be proud of her4    
,and he would4 ,but the satisfaction of 
a mere pride is not the satisfaction of 
the heart4 ,pride is very easily        
satisfied2 and when it is satisfied it  
generally departs4 ,in a few years he   
will want something more than an        
ornament to his home1 and then he will  
find it wanting4 ,for only in rare cases

 do we find the useful and the          
ornamental combined in a single woman4  
,to marry a girl because of some        
possession2 because he simply likes her 
better1 perhaps1 than he does other     
girls2 because1 maybe1 he respects1     
fancies1 or admires her2 because she    
seems to sympathize with him1 is to     
establish a wrong basis for a happy     
marriage4 ,not one of these emotions can
 form the foundation for any truly happy
 marriage4 ,they are things which appeal
 to us in any dear friend1 man or woman4
 ,the girl who is to be a young man's   
companion for life1 to be with him and  
of him as long as she or he may live1   
and to be the sharer of his joys or     
sorrows1 to be a daughter to his mother 
and a mother to his children1 must      
awaken other emotions in a young man's  
heart4 ,she must awaken that true1      
affectionate love out of which all of   
the things of which ,i have spoken      
spring1 but none of which alone or      
combined constitutes love itself4  ,the 

girl that a young man should marry1 and 
the only girl he is safe to marry1 is   
she who fills all his life1 his every   
thought1 who guides him in his every    
act1 whose face comes before him in     
everything that he does--the girl1 in   
short1 without whom he feels life would 
be a blank1 without whom he could not   
live4 ,that is the girl whom he loves1  
and it makes little difference whether  
such a girl be rich or poor1 talented or
 not1 traveled or untraveled4 ,enough is
 it for him if she is affectionate in   
her nature1 sympathetic with his work1  
responsive to his thoughts1 appreciative
 of his best qualities4 ,these are the  
traits in a woman which last the        
longest1 and remain with a man          
throughout his life4 ,they are the      
traits in women which make good wives   
and better mothers4 ,knowledge is a good
 thing in a woman1 but affection is     
infinitely better4 ,far wiser is the    
young man who marries the stupidest girl
 in the world1 if she be affectionate1  

than he who marries the brightest girl  
in the universe1 if she be cold1 clammy1
 and unresponsive in her disposition4   
,we laugh at sentiment1 we men1 when we 
are young2 when we have lived a lifetime
 we reverence it1 and the jest becomes  
the tribute4  ,another point1 as ,i     
hinted above1 which sometimes enters    
into a young man's thoughts of marriage 
is what is called by the world the      
social station of the girl he loves4    
,now what is termed social station is a 
very difficult thing to define4 ,the    
habit of social distinction which so    
many families endeavor to engender and  
develop in contemplated marriage is1 ,i 
think1 one of the most unfortunate      
tendencies of the times4 ,a social      
aristocracy has always been impossible  
in ,america1 and it is never more       
impossible than at the present time4 ,we
 need not be extremists in our beliefs1 
and refuse to admit that there exist    
grades and classes in ,american society4
 ,our social lines are sufficiently     

drawn for individual protection1 as they
 rightly should be1 and must be in any  
great nation4 ,but for any grade of     
society to refuse a humane and proper   
recognition to a girl foreign1 perhaps1 
to our special modes of living1 is a    
piece of snobbery unworthy of any       
,american family which thrives and      
prospers under ,american privileges and 
resources4 ,we have in this country a   
class of people whose social standards  
are beneath contempt1 and who consider  
it almost infectious to brush their     
mantles against the plainer cloaks of   
what they choose to call the lower      
classes4 ,we can1 if we so choose1 amuse
 ourselves in this country by believing 
that there is such a thing as ,american 
lineage4 ,but when we permit this       
harmless amusement to become a settled  
belief and seriously discuss it1 as ,i  
have heard it in some drawing-rooms1 the
 matter passes out of the amusing and   
assumes the ridiculous4 ,the great      
social strength of this country1 the    

real substantial strength1 hope1 and    
life of this nation1 lies with what is  
designated as the great average middle  
class2 and from this class springs not  
only the mental1 physical1 and moral    
bone and sinew of this republic1 but the
 best type of womanhood which ornaments 
the ,american home to-day4 ,the man or  
woman who to-day sneers at or casts a   
discreditable innuendo upon that class  
stamps himself or herself unworthy of   
being classed among intelligent people4 
,the truest1 best1 and sweetest type of 
the ,american girl of to-day does not   
come from the home of wealth2 she steps 
out from a home where exists comfort    
rather than luxuries4 ,she belongs to   
the great middle class--that class which
 has given us the best ,american        
wifehood2 which has given help-mates to 
the foremost ,american men of our time2 
which teaches its daughters the true    
meaning of love2 which teaches the      
manners of the drawing-room1 but the    
practical life of the kitchen as well2  

which teaches its girls the             
responsibilities of wifehood and the    
greatness of motherhood4 ,these girls   
may not ride in their carriages1 they   
may not wear the most expensive gowns1  
they may even help a little to enlarge  
the family income2 but these girls are  
to-day the great bulwark of ,american   
society1 not only present1 but of the   
future4 ,they represent the ,american   
home and what is best and truest in     
sweet domestic life1 and they make the  
best wives for our ,american men4 ,i    
have no patience with those theories    
that would seek to place the average    
,american girl in any other position    
than that which she occupies1 ornaments1
 and rightfully holds3 the foremost     
place in our respect1 our admiration1   
and our love4 ,she is not the society   
girl of the day1 and she is better for  
it4 ,she knows no superficial life2 she 
knows only the life in a home where     
husband1 wife1 and children are one in  
love1 one in thoughts1 and one in every 

action4 ,she believes no woman to be so 
sweet as her mother2 no man so good as  
her father4 ,she believes that there are
 good women and true men in the world1  
and her belief is right4 ,and that young
 man will ever be happiest who takes    
such a girl for his wife4  ,i seek not  
to disparage the home life of the       
wealthy of our land4 ,some of my best   
friends live in homes of luxury1 are    
deemed by the world wealthy and         
fortunate1 and the atmosphere of their  
homes is as pure and elevating as is    
their family life representative of     
every element that makes good women and 
men4 ,nor have ,i one word to say       
against honest ancestral pride4 ,on the 
contrary1 ,i believe in it4 ,i think if 
we had more of it in this country it    
would be better4 ,it is one of the      
greatest stimulants to a young man to   
know that he comes of a good family and 
that he is expected to so carry himself 
as to add respect and pride to the name 
of his family4 ,a good family name is   

one of the strongest safeguards to a    
young man's respectability4 ,we cannot  
underestimate the value of heredity4 ,we
 should be proud of an honorable        
ancestry4 ,but we should not boast of   
it1 or use it to a detrimental          
comparison of the ancestry of others4   
,that spirit is vulgar2 certainly it is 
un-,american4  ,nor should any of us1   
who have been a little more favored with
 this world's goods1 refuse to recognize
 good in those not possessed of equal   
possessions4 ,i care not how tenderly   
the favored son of a wealthy home may   
have been reared2 with what care and    
precision his mental and moral          
development may have been guarded and   
watched2 what hopes may be centered in  
him3 ,i will match his worth any hour of
 the day with a girl from a plainer home
 and of lesser advantages4 ,but her     
social position8 the proud mother asks4 
,social station8 ,what is social        
station8 ,so long as a girl is          
respectable1 so long as she is good1 so 

long as she is a loving1 tender1 and    
true woman1 by what social standard can 
she be measured8 ,what right have we to 
apply superficial standards to worth and
 character8 ,what comparison can a      
social standard bear to the highest     
standard of morality1 to good womanhood1
 to the best wifehood1 to the truest    
conception of motherhood8 ,is the girl  
in an office less of a woman than the   
girl who rides in her carriage8 ,is she 
less capable of making a good wife8 ,why
 do we marry8 ,to please society8 ,to   
uphold social standards as false as they
 are mythical8 ,false pride has made    
enough trouble in this world without    
letting it bring grief into our homes4  
,let the young men of this country be   
sufficiently broad-minded not to measure
 a girl by her surroundings1 but to     
judge her for herself4 ,true worth lasts
 longer and wears to the end4 ,the      
loving heart of a good girl is better   
than all the wealth and social          
accomplishments which she can bring to a

 man4 ,it is something that comes back  
to a man three hundred and sixty-five   
times in a year4 ,we can get along with 
a little money in this world if we will2
 but love is a quality of which we can  
scarce have too much4  ,and when the    
conditions are reversed1 and the young  
man's income or financial possessions   
are taken into account1 the same general
 principle is true4 ,there is not a more
 cruel standard by which to measure a   
young man than the position he is able  
to offer the girl of his choice4 ,i am  
not an advocate of the love-in-a-cottage
 theory by any means2 but ,i do believe 
in the good old-fashioned theory of a   
young couple starting out in the world  
with a moderate income1 and then        
climbing upward together4 ,i know this  
sounds visionary1 and like the sort of  
reading we find in stories2 but the     
truth is there just the same4 ,i give it
 as my earnest conviction that a young  
girl will be far safer in the hands of a
 young man born of parents in moderate  

circumstances1 honest in his principles1
 energetic and industrious1 than she    
would with a young man who has known    
only the luxuries of life1 and to whom  
work is an incidental matter rather than
 the aim and purpose of life4 ,i do not 
care how poor a young man may be2 if he 
has good health1 sound principles1 is   
respectful of sacred things1 is         
temperate in his habits1 and is not     
afraid to work1 and work hard1 and face 
the world with a determination to       
succeed1 that young man can be trusted  
with the best and sweetest girl ever    
reared in an ,american home4  ,at the   
same time ,i believe that no young man  
has a right to ask a girl to be his wife
 until he has reached a certain point in
 his life4 ,and ,i would apply this both
 to his age and to his prospects4 ,as to
 age1 ,i think a young man should wait  
until he is at least twenty-five before 
he marries4 ,before that time his       
impressions and his fancies are apt to  
be fleeting4 ,he drifts and flounders in

 almost everything he                   
does--wife-choosing included--before he 
is twenty-five4 ,he himself rarely knows
 what he wants in anything4 ,he does not
 know the world nor its people4 ,he may 
think he does--a young man between      
eighteen and twenty-five generally      
does--but he does not all the same4 ,it 
requires him to reach and pass the      
twenty-five-year period to find out how 
little he knew before4 ,after he passes 
twenty-five he begins to learn1 and from
 that time things come to have a meaning
 to him4 ,the difference before and     
after this twenty-five-year period is   
that before he is twenty-five he wonders
 that he is so much more mature than    
others and knows so much2 while after he
 passes twenty-five he wonders that he  
is so immature and knows so little4 ,and
 when a young man reaches that point    
where he is convinced that he knows very
 little1 then his time of learning      
commences4 ,young men generally think   
they know a great deal about girls when 

they are twenty-one1 and can easily     
choose a wife4 ,but the wisdom of       
twenty-one on that point is a little    
slippery1 and ,i would advise no young  
man to test it4  ,then1 too1 a young man
 has no conception of his capabilities  
before he reaches twenty-five4 ,he has  
no fixed purpose in mind2 he has no idea
 what he is capable of doing2 he does   
not know the business world nor its     
chances4 ,he has had no opportunity of  
showing his employers his capacity to   
fill a more important position4 ,he has1
 therefore1 no practical idea of his    
prospects1 and he can form none4 ,the   
period between the ages of twenty and   
twenty-five is the formative period in  
his life1 and during that time it is    
better that he has no additional        
responsibilities upon him other than his
 own struggles will demand4 ,but when he
 reaches twenty-five he generally begins
 to develop4 ,his opinions on matters   
begin to be listened to--casually1 it is
 true1 at first1 but they command       

attention1 nevertheless1 where formerly 
they were ignored1 and justly so4 ,from 
this time his career begins1 and he can1
 with a greater degree of accuracy1     
decide for himself whether he can ask   
the girl of his choice to share his life
 with him4 ,between twenty-five and     
thirty a young man should1 if he hopes  
to amount to anything1 choose his path  
in life and test his capabilities4 ,and 
then it is that the love of a good wife 
and her counsel will mean everything to 
him4 ,if we look at current statistics  
we find at once that the greater        
majority--,i think it is something like 
seventy per cent4--of our young men are 
marrying between twenty-five and thirty1
 with a leaning toward the latter age4  
,years ago it was different1 and the    
marrying age for young men was between  
twenty-two and twenty-five4  ,but1      
likewise1 a young man cannot afford to  
wait too long in this question of       
marriage2 and when ,i say too long ,i   
mean beyond the age of thirty4 ,after a 

man passes thirty years his habits are  
very likely to become fixed1 and from   
that time it will be harder for him each
 year to tear away from his bachelor    
habits4 ,for marriage demands a few     
sacrifices from a man1 and he must be   
prepared to meet them1 just as the girl 
gives up many of her girlish pleasures4 
,marriage is not a lark1 as some young  
people are apt to suppose1 and it should
 not be entered into just for the fun of
 the thing1 nor for the sake of being   
married4 ,better is it for a young man  
never to marry than to marry simply for 
the sake of marrying1 or because he     
feels that he is getting along in years4
  ,there is only one safe rule for a    
young man to follow in this whole       
question of marriage1 and it solves the 
problem of the girl and the age3 wait   
until the right girl comes along and    
then marry her4 ,but1 if possible1 don't
 marry her this side of twenty years1   
and don't you marry this side of        
twenty-five4  ,regarding the question of

 engagements1 ,i believe thoroughly in  
their short duration4 ,this whole       
question of matrimonial engagements     
might be changed somewhat by young      
people themselves1 and to their own     
benefit4 ,in many cases the young become
 engaged too soon1 and then they are    
restless because they cannot marry2     
whereas1 if the period of               
acquaintanceship were made longer1 and  
the engagement time shorter1 things     
would be much improved4 ,long           
engagements are never advisable2 in     
fact1 they are bad from every point of  
view2 long periods of acquaintance      
previous to an engagement are far       
better4 ,so far as actually knowing each
 other is concerned--well1 for that     
matter1 what woman has ever known a man 
until after she is married to him1 or   
what man has ever known a woman8        
,touching the question of a young man's 
income when he marries1 no rule can be  
laid down4 ,there are thousands of      
married people who are living the       

happiest of lives on six hundred dollars
 per year1 while there are thousands1 on
 the other hand1 who struggle to keep   
out of debt on six thousand a year4 ,and
 so it goes4 ,everything depends upon   
the people4 ,hundreds of men constantly 
ask the question1 ,can ,i marry on six  
hundred1 eight hundred1 or a thousand   
dollars per year8 ,no one can determine 
this question but the young fellow      
himself1 and particularly the girl whom 
he loves4 ,as ,i wrote to a young fellow
 who asked me if ,i believed it would be
 safe for him to marry on a thousand    
dollars per year1 so do ,i say to all   
young men who are asking the question1  
irrespective of the amount involved3 no 
one can tell you4 ,you and the girl in  
question must settle that4 ,but1 on     
general principles1 ,i think the sooner 
we look at this question of marriage    
from some other than this strictly      
mercenary standpoint the better4 ,i do  
not believe1 as ,i said a few paragraphs
 back1 in the theory of love in a       

cottage1 with nothing else4 ,but ,i do  
believe in young people starting at the 
lowest rung in the ladder and then      
climbing up4 ,nothing else in the world 
knits the interests of two people so    
closely together1 or insures such       
absolute happiness in the future as     
their lives progress4 ,i cannot advise  
any young fellow what to do1 but ,i know
 if ,i were earning six hundred1 eight  
hundred1 or a thousand dollars a year1  
and ,i really loved a girl--felt1 in    
other words1 as if ,i could not live    
without her--and the girl was of the    
right kind--that is1 sensible in her    
ideas1 frugal in her tastes1 and of a   
marriageable age--,i would let her      
settle my doubt for me4 ,girls have a   
very interesting way of settling doubts 
of this kind--when they are fond of the 
fellow in doubt4 ,one thing is certain3 
the greatest safety in this world for a 
man is to place his interests in the    
keeping of the woman who loves him4     
,these are the only points which ,i or  

any other writer can possibly advance   
regarding this question of marriage4    
,every young man must necessarily settle
 it for himself2 all that a writer can  
do is to lay down the best and what he  
considers to be the safest general      
principles1 and each reader must apply  
those principles to his own individual  
needs and condition4  ,but there is one 
thing which a writer can safely do1 and 
that is to counsel in every young man a 
firm belief in womanhood and an honest  
faith in marriage4 ,he must not paint   
the marriage relation all of a          
rose-colored hue4 ,necessarily it has   
its purple lights2 sometimes its black  
shadows4 ,no condition of life is       
without its little trials1 its          
vexations1 or its anxieties1 and        
marriage is not an exception to this    
rule4 ,but it is through the marriage   
state1 through the love of woman1 as ,i 
have said before1 that man has reached  
his present status4 ,married to a woman1
 he may wonder now and then a little    

whether she is not rather expensive4    
,her ways may not always be his ways4   
,occasionally he may frown a little1 and
 perhaps scold a bit4 ,he may leave home
 in the morning and go to his office    
without the customary farewell kiss4 ,he
 may sometimes get provoked because she 
is so slow in getting ready when he goes
 out with her4 ,he may want to stay at  
home when she wants to go out4 ,he may  
be led to say once in a great while1    
,women are queer1 and you are one of the
 queerest6 ,he may fly into a passion1  
only to feel sorry for it afterward4 ,he
 may feel piqued at times because she is
 not home when he comes from the office2
 that dinner is not ready just at the   
precise moment when he wants it2 that   
she wants to retire about three hours   
earlier than he does4 ,but1 after all1  
he says to himself1 ,i tell you what1 my
 wife is an angel4 ,she always seems to 
know what is best for me1 and what is   
not4 ,she looks at nothing in the light 
of a sacrifice4 ,when ,i have been tired

 for three hours she keeps going4 ,well1
 she is my daily joy2 sick1 my comfort1 
and the best of nurses2 in trouble1 my  
star of hope4 ,when ,i want to be rash  
she is cautious4 ,i could stake my life 
on the honesty of a man2 she1 at a      
glance1 has read his innermost thoughts 
and knows his character4 ,and take her  
year in and year out she is the most    
patient1 most loving1 and dearest of    
women4 ,faults8 ,of course she has1 but 
so have ,i--lots of them1 too4 ,i notice
 all she has1 but some way or other she 
never seems to see mine1 and talks only 
of my best side4 ,and1 after all1 is she
 not right8 ,and then1 as a pair of arms
 are twined around him from behind1 as  
he sits in a comfortable chair1 a soft1 
fluffy sleeve just rubs gently against  
his face1 a pair of eyes look into his  
eyes as he raises them1 a pair of lips  
lovingly press his1 a gentle1 loving    
voice says1 ,do you know1 dear1 you look
 very comfortable and happy1 everything 
that is good swells up in him and finds 

its expression in the typical           
,americanism3 ,you bet ,i am6