,,memoir ,,( ,,m>y ,l4 ,,w>e1 ,,wife ,,( ,,h5ry ,,w>e1 ,,jr4 ,,by ,,edw>d ,b4 ,,hall4 ,sev5? ,?\s&4 ,,bo/on3 ,,crosby1 ,,ni*ols1 ,,& ,,company4 ,,new ,,york3 ,,*>les ,s4 ,,francis ,,& ,,company #ahed4 ,ent]$ accord+ to ,act ( ,congress1 9 ! ye> #aheb1 by ,,crosby1 ,,ni*ols1 ,,& ,,company1 9 ! ,cl]k's ,(fice ( ! ,di/rict ,c\rt ( ! ,di/rict ( ,massa*usetts4 ,,cambridge3 ,,/]eotyp$ ,,& ,,pr9t$ ,,by ,,metcalf ,,& ,,company1 ,,pr9t]s ,,to ,,! ,,univ]sity4 ,illu/ration ,,cont5ts4 ,i4 ,,introduction ,,ii4 ,,*ildhood ,p>5tage4--,"* ( ! ,"m4--,fir/ ,tra9+ ( ,m>y ,pick>d4--,e>ly ,visit to ,engl&4--,fri5ds !re4--,voyage ,home4--,extracts f ,lett]s4--,resid5ce 9 ,bo/on4--,pe>l ,/reet4--,fir/ ,fri5d%ips4--,nature & ,education4--,a ,fri5d's ,description ( ,m>y4 ,,iii4 ,,m5tal ,,& ,,moral ,,culture ,s*ool at ,h+ham4--,a ,tea*]'s ,rem9isc5ce4--,sickness & ,dea? ( ,mrs4 ,pick>d4--,m>y's ,position4--,h] ,fa!r's ,circum/ances4--,dr4 ,p>k's ,s*ool4--,e>lie/ ,lett]s4--,?\ghts & ,!mes4--,*os5 ,fri5d4--,peculi> ,confid5ce4--,return to ,h+ham4--,tea*]'s ,acc\nt4--,moral ,decision & ,decl>ation4--,lett]s4--,jo9+ ! ,*ur*4--,h5ry ,w>e4 ,,iv4 ,,discipl9e ,,& ,,"* ,mr4 ,pick>d's ,emb>rassm5ts4--,8 ,correspond5ce ) ,m>y4--,h] ,sympa?y & ,fai?4--,h] ,tea*]'s ,te/imony to h] ,piety4--,%e leaves ,h+ham4--,h] ,gr&fa!r's ,dea?4--,devotion to h] ,gr&mo!r4--,visit to ,nor?ampton4--,h] ,self-di/ru/4--,int]e/ 9 ,dr4 ,*urn+4--,lett]s on 8 ,prea*+1 & ,int]view ) him4--,correspond5ce ) ,miss ,cu%+4--,dea? ( h] ,gr&mo!r4 ,v4 ,,*anges ,,at ,,home ,leav+ ,pe>l ,/reet4--,fe>s = ! ,future4--,pecuni>y ,means4--,bus9ess & ,travel4--,new ,york & ,baltimore4--,mr4 ,pick>d's ,displeasure4--,return to ,bo/on4--,lett]s on ,provid5ce & ,b]eavem5t4--,dea? ( ,j4 ,e4 ,abbot4--,liv+ 9 ,dor*e/]4--,morbid ,feel+s4--,m>riage ( h] ,fri5d4--,h] own ,trials4--,influ5ce ^u o!rs4--,int]e/+ ,case4--,dr4 ,*ann+'s ,abs5ce & ,return4--,dea? ( h] ,fa!r4 ,,vi4 ,,visit ,,abroad ,lonel9ess4--,invitation to g ,abroad4--,lett]s relat+ to x4--,a ,fri5d's ,admiration4--,arrival 9 ,engl&4--,mrs4 ,freme4--,lett]s f ,london & ,broadwat]4--,isle ( ,wight4--,p>is4--,h] ,fri5ds' ,return to ,am]ica4--,%e rema9s ) ,relatives 9 ,engl&4--,*a?am4--,burcombe ,h\se4--,_m ,lett]s4--,arrival ( ,e4 ,p4 ,f4 f ,am]ica4--,lett]s f ,syd5ham4--,t\r to ,scotl&4--,description ( ! ,c\ntry4 ,,vii4 ,,sc5es ,,( ,,suff]+ ,! ,poor ,aunt4--,osmo!rly4--,sickness & ,sorr[ among ,k9dr$4--,m>y ! ,*ief ,nurse & ,devot$ ,labor]4--,details 9 ,successive ,lett]s4--,%e goes to ,p5ri?4--,recall$ to ,osmo!rly4--,fur!r ,*anges4--,h] own ,sickness4--,anxiety ( ,fri5ds 9 ,engl& & ,am]ica4--,joy at h] ,escape4 ,,viii4 ,,new ,,relations ,return f ,engl&4--,welcome ,home4--,labors ( ,love4--,h5ry ,w>e's ,prea*+4--,int]e/ & ,engagem5t4--,_! ,lett]s to ,fri5ds4--,views ( ! ,relation ( ,/epmo!r4--,p>i% ,relations & ,duties4--,s5se ( ,responsibility4--,desire ( ,usefulness4--,visit to ,nor?ampton4--,disappo9tm5ts4--,husb&'s ,illness at ,w>e4--,%e goes to him4--,!nce to ,worce/]4--,bir? ( h] ,fir/ ,*ild4--,husb&'s ,j\rney = ,heal?4--,poetical ,epi/le to 8 ,wife4--,newton4--,return to ,%eafe ,/reet4--,atta*m5t & ,removal4--,brookl9e4--,plan = ,cambridge4--,?\ghts ( ,europe4--,end ( ,p>i% ,life4 ,,ix4 ,,european ,,t\r ,sail+ = ,engl& ) h] ,husb&4--,h] ,feel+s at leav+ ! ,*ildr54--,diff]5ce betwe5 ?is & h] =m] ,visit4--,h] ,husb&'s ,sickness & ,depression4--,! ,great ,trial4--,_! ,r\te4--,engl& & ,scotl&4--,! ,cont95t4--,g5eva & ,lett]s4--,! ,treatise on ,*ri/ian ,"*4--,italy4--,naples & ,rome4--,annual to ,mrs4 ,pa9e4--,bir? ( a ,daught]4--,mr4 ,w>e's ,disc\ragem5t4--,mrs4 ,w>e's ,anxiety4--,h] ,acc\nt ( ,suff]+s & ,ex]tions4--,_! ,return to ,france & ,engl&4--,8 ,excursion alone4--,h] ,provision = h] ,aunt4--,lett] to h] ,*ildr54--,passage ,home4--,husb&'s ,illness4--,ardu\s ,(fices4--,h] ,view ( h] own ,con/itution4 ,x4 ,,life ,,9 ,,cambridge ,f9al ,leave ( ! ,p>i% 9 ,bo/on4--,removal to ,cambridge--,new ,position4--,*ief ,anxieties4--,pecuni>y ,/raits4--,mrs4 ,w>e's ,sickness1 long & s]i\s4--,husb&'s ,feel+s4--,emma's ,visit4--,lett]s to ,mrs4 ,pa9e & ,emma4--,mrs4 ,w>e's ,recov]y & ,summons to ,concord4--,mr4 ,w>e's ,illness !re1 & ,appreh5sions4--,h] ,use ( ! ,w>n+1 & ,habit ( ,prep>ation4--,dea? ( h] ,son ,rob]t4--,h] ,acc\nt4--,devotion to h] ,*ildr54--,lett]s to ,john4--,cases ( ,hospitality4--,cr[d$1 b nev] worri$4--,j\rnal to ,john4--,lett]s at ! ,end ( #ahcb & #ahcc4--;,dang]\s ,illness ( a ,*ild4 ,,xi4 ,,life ,,9 ,,cambridge4 7,,cont9u$47 ,prud5ce 9 ,sickness4--,mrs4 ,w>e's ,view ( x1 & ,exp]i5ce4--,h] ,pr9ciple & ,practice 9 ,reg>d to ,dress4--,exemption f ,sickness4--,social & ,private ,ef=ts = ,o!rs4--,moral ,cases4--,g5]al ,int]c\rse4--,sympa?y ) ,*ildr54--,hatr$ ( ,gossip4--,husb&'s ,sev]e ,illness 9 #ahcf4--,! ,aid %e r5d]$ him4--,h] ,int]e/ 9 ! ,!ological ,/ud5ts4--,_! ,te/imony to h] ,k9dness & ,influ5ce4--,pecuni>y ,emb>rassm5t--,dea? ( a ,si/]4--,view ( ,ev5ts & ,circum/ances4--,cont9u$ ,m]cies4--,pleasant ,lett]s4--,a ,*ange approa*+4--,v>i\s ,records4--,h] ,husb& goes to ,new ,york4--,8 ,sickness !re1 & h] ,jo9+ him4--,return1 & ,resignation ( ,(fice4--,d>k ,prospects4--,/rong ,fai? & ,hope4--,leav+ ,cambridge4 ,,xii4 ,,life ,,9 ,,fram+ham ,pa9 ( ,removal4--,new ,resid5ce4--,g5]osity ( ,fri5ds4--,extracts f ,lett]s4--,fai?ful ,dome/ic4--,views ( ,s]vice4--,l>g] ,extracts4--,dea? ( ,dr ,*ann+4--,k9dness ( ,neighbors4--,mr4 ,w>e's ,illness 9 ,bo/on4--,h] ,feel+s4--,return to ,fram+ham4--,8 ,jaunts & f9al ,sickness4--,8 ,dea?4--,fir/ ,sabba?4--,burial at ,cambridge4--,lett]s to ,*ildr5 & ,fri5ds4--,isolation & ,suff]+4--,labor1 ,m5tal & ,manual4--,prep>ation ( a ,memoir4--,communion ) h] ,husb& & ! ,dep>t$ ,ones4--,lett]s to h] ,son4--,look+ = a new ,resid5ce4--,decision = ,milton4--,la/ ,record ( ,fram+ham4 ,,xiii4 ,,life ,,9 ,,milton ,mrs4 ,w>e's ,fe>s ( ,loss ( ,p[]4--,fir/ ,lett] f ,milton1 describ+ h] ,condition4--,progress ( ,m9d se5 9 h] ,lett]s4--,views ( ,education4--,reliance ^u h] ,*ildr54--,v>i\s ,records4--,! ,new ,cottage4--,love ( ,nature4--,beg9n+ ( ,disease4--,cont9u$ ,"w4--,s*ool4--,views ( sep>at+ ,*ildr54--,tru/ = ,?+s ,temporal & ,spiritual4--,annuals = #ahde & #ahdf4--,lett]s ( ,sympa?y4--,lett]s to h] ,*ildr54--,son at ,exet]4--,h] ,visit !re4--,views ( ,prea*+ & ,prea*]s4--,tribute ( a ,pa/or4--,family ,religion4--,important ,lett]s4--,equanimity 9 ,sickness4--,dea? ( ,emma4--,visit to ,cambridge4--,end ( ! ,ye>4--,! ,"t yet rema9+4 ,,xiv4 ,,! ,,end ,la/ ,days natural1 n wond]ful4--,quietness & ,enjoym5t4--,relative ,duties4--,decl9e ( ,/r5g?4--,disclosure ( h] ,disease4--,private ,pap]4--,visit to h] ,son4--,once m a ,nurse & ,help]4--,s9k+ & ,rally+4--,acc\nts ( h] by ,fri5ds4--,h] own ,acc\nt4--,influ5ce ^u ,o!rs4--,h] ,pa9 at be+ prais$4--,lett] f ,engl&4--,h] la/ ,lett]4--,conv]sation on ! ,future4--,h] ,pa/or's ,visit4--,clos+ ,expressions4--,h] ,husb&'s ,words4--,dea? & ,burial4--,conclusion4 ,,memoir4 ,i4 ,,introduction4 ,! life ( an unpret5d+ ,*ri/ian woman is nev] lo/4 ,writt5 or unwritt51 x is & ev] w be an active p[] among ! elem5ts t =m & advance society4 ,yet ! writt5 life w speak to ! l>g] numb]1 w be :olly new to _m1 & to all may c>ry a heal?y impulse4 ,!re are none :o are n /r5g!n$ & bless$ by ! k ( a meek1 firm1 consi/5t "*1 =m$ by religi\s influ5ces1 & devot$ to ! highe/ ends4 ,& :]e ?is "* has belong$ to a daught]1 wife1 & "m1 :o has be5 se5 only 9 ! retir$ dome/ic sph]e1 !re may be ! m reason t x be transf]r$ to ! pr9t$ page & an endur+ =m1 because ( ! v mode/y :i* adorn$ x1 & :i* w\ld nev] proclaim itself4 ,su* are our feel+s 9 reg>d to ! subject ( ! foll[+ ,memoir1 & su* our reasons = (f]+ x to ! public4 ,x has n be5 )\t scruple1 & aft] an int]val ( ye>s1 t ! family & ne>e/ fri5ds ( ,mrs4 ,w>e h cons5t$ to ! publication ( facts & ?\ghts s private & sacr$ z _m :i* mu/ appe> 9 a fai?ful transcript ( h] life4 ,p]haps ?is reluctance always exi/s1 p>ticul>ly 9 reg>d to a woman & a "m4 ,9 ?is in/ance x has be5 v /rong1 & x is b j t x be made kn[n4 ,nev] 0 !re a woman1 we may believe1 m retir+ or peculi>ly dome/ic ?an %e ( :om we are to speak4 ,nev]1 we are sure1 7 ! mat]ials ( a life m entirely private1 & 9 "o s5se confid5tial1 ?an ^? :i* we are to use2 = lett]s are all ! mat]ials we h1 & lett]s writt5 9 ! unre/ra9$ fre$om ( p]sonal fri5d%ip1 9 ! mid/ ( press+ c>es1 & ) a rapidity & un/udi$ naturalness1 :i* w appe> 9 all ! extracts1 b are /ill m manife/ 9 ! entire orig9als4 ,h] correspond5ce 0 volum9\s1 to an ext5t unsurpass$ p]haps 9 a life s quiet1 ) no pret5ce to lit]>y "*1 & no?+ ev] writt5 except = ! eye ( ! receiv]4 ,h[ w\ld ! writ] h felt1 _h %e suppos$ ^! lett]s 7 ev] to be op5$ to ! public eye8 ,x is a "q :i* _m ask1--"s ) pa91 "s ) decid$ disapproval4 ,x is a "q :i* we h ask$ ourselves1 & we pref] to answ] x be=e we ent] ^u ! "w4 ,to answ] x unfavorably1 to yield to ?is natural reluctance to publi% any ?+ design$ to be private1 & 9 its nature p]sonal1 w\ld deprive u ( ! be/ biographies t are writt54 ,x w\ld re/rict to s+le families1 & to a brief p]iod1 ! k ( facts & features1 ( all mo/ reliable1 mo/ valuable4 ,inde$1 x is ?is v fact ( humility & res]ve1 ( fre$om & naturalness1 indulg$ 9 confid5tial communion & ! quiet ( home1 t reveals mo/ ! reality ( virtue1 =ce ( "*1 dis9t]e/$ nobl5ess1 & ! p[] ( religion4 ,:o is will+ t ! k ( su* examples %\ld be )held f ! _m :o crave x1 & :om x w\ld /imulate & bless8 ,%all we make no sacrifice ( our own feel+s1 suppos+ x to require "o1 %all we ho>d exclusively = our own use ! ri*e/ ( ,god's gifts1 :5 ^? by :om ! gifts h come to u sp5t _! lives 9 s]vice & sacrifice = u8 ,to ^! obvi\s consid]ations1 we w add our firm fai? 9 ! k :i* dep>t$ fri5ds h ( ! motives f :i* we are act+1 & ( ! influ5ce :i* _! own mode/ virtues & l[ly ef=ts on e>? may ex]t ^u ^? rema9+ "h2 ?us cont9u+1 9 a high] & sur] way1 ! v "w = :i* ! lov$ & ! pure always live1 & are will+ to die4 ,x is 9 po9t1 n only = our imm$iate purpose1 b = ! exhibition 9 "p ( ! "* we w\ld del9eate1 to say t ^! 7 ! feel+s ( ,mrs4 ,w>e h]self1 9 reg>d to a memoir ( h] husb&4 ,public z a l>ge portion ( 8 life 01 %e %runk f ! exposure ( t :i* 0 private1 & :i* seem$ to be sacr$ly committ$ to h] own keep+4 ,%e rememb]$1 too1 8 peculi> s5sitiv5ess 9 ?is connection1 & ! injunctions he gave :5 "u ! influ5ce ( disease & depression4 ,b ano!r voice came to h] f 8 pres5t high] abode & l>g] vision2 & ?us %e wrote to a fri5d1 ( ! conflict & ! decision1 9 language applicable n[ to h] own case3--,i _c tell y ! agony x has giv5 me at times1 to realize t t sacr$ inn] life1 :i* ,i _h felt 0 my own peculi> tru/1 0 no long] m9e1 b 0 to be %>$ by ! :ole _w4 ,b ?is 0 s9ful1 selfi%1 e>?ly2 & ,i h gradually left x all f> beh9d1 & c n[ only be glad t su* a life is %[n = ! aid & enc\ragem5t ( o!rs4 ,x is our desire to give to ?is ,memoir z mu* z possible ( ! "* ( an autobiography4 ,we h few facts except ^? f\nd 9 ! lett]s1 ) ! advantage ( an intimate int]c\rse = m ?an tw5ty ye>s4 ,9 ! sev]al hundr$ lett]s & notes t h be5 put into our h&s1 !re is no?+ t might n appe>1 s f> z any "o else is conc]n$4 ,?is fact is well wor?y ( note1 z belong+ to ! "*1 & reveal+ a rem>kable elevation & purity ( ?\ght1--t 9 su* a mass ( free epi/ol>y writ+1 f diff]5t c\ntries & to p]sons ( e age1 n a s+le sev]e /ricture1 n "o unk9d allusion or (f5sive p]sonality1 mu* less any approa* to petty gossip1 c be f\nd4 ,we feel ! great] fre$om 9 mak+ copi\s extracts2 & %all attempt little m ?an s to arrange & connect !m z to give a fair view ( ! :ole life1 or r ( ! m9d & "* t appe> 9 e "p ( ! life4 ,t a life s private conta9$ su* a v>iety ( incid5t1 & a measure ( unavoidable publicity1 0 ! ord]+ ( ,provid5ce2 & may s]ve to %[ t ! sph]e ( woman1 ev5 ! mo/ dome/ic & sil5t1 is broad en\gh = ! mo/ active intellect & ! l>ge/ b5evol5ce4 ,,ii4 ,,*ildhood4 ,m>y ,lovell ,pick>d 0 an only *ild1 h] p>5ts hav+ b "o o!r1 :o di$ an infant be=e ! bir? ( ,m>y4 ,%e 0 born 9 ,atk9son ,/reet1 ,bo/on1 on ! #b;d ( ,octob]1 #agih4 ,m>k ,pick>d1 h] fa!r1 0 an ,engli% m]*ant1 :o came to ?is c\ntry on bus9ess1 & rema9$ "h4 ,h] "m 0 ,m>y ,lovell1 daught] ( ,james ,lovell1 & gr&daught] ( ,ma/] ,lovell1 s long kn[n z a classical tea*] 9 ,bo/on4 ,james ,lovell1 ! gr&fa!r ( ! subject ( ?is ,memoir1 0 a man ( m9d & influ5ce4 ,he _h be5 active 9 ! ,revolution>y w>1 & 0 once made prison] at ,halifax1 %>+ !re1 x is said1 ! prison ( ,e?an ,all54 ,subsequ5tly he 0 a prom95t memb] ( ! ,cont95tal ,congress1 & at ! adoption ( ! ,con/itution receiv$ ! appo9tm5t ( ,naval ,(fic] 9 ! ,bo/on cu/om-h\se1 a place :i* he reta9$ until 8 dea?4 ,a man ( free & bold ?\ght1 associat+ mu* at "o "t ) ,fr5* (fic]s1 ,mr4 ,lovell adopt$ "s infidel pr9ciples1 became famili> & fond ( ,pa9e's argum5ts1 &1 z we are l$ to inf]1 treat$ religion ) little respect 9 8 family2 ! family 9 :i* ,m>y ,pick>d1 z well z h] "m1 pass$ h] *ildhood & y\?4 ,james ,lovell _h n9e *ildr51 b only "o daught]1 ,m>y1 :o grew up ! idol ( ! family4 ,at ! age ( tw5ty-five %e m>ri$ ,m>k ,pick>d1 :o 0 sev5te5 ye>s h] s5ior1 b n h] equal 9 intellect or en]gy1 we inf]1 yet always k9d & mo/ t5d]ly atta*$ to h]4 ,%e 0 a woman ( r>e excell5ce1 9 ^: "*1 z drawn by ^? /ill liv+ :o knew h] well1 we c see1 z usual1 mu* t acc\nts = ! "* ( ! daught]4 ,mrs4 ,pick>d _h be5 educat$ 9 ,bo/on1 & well educat$1 hav+ a naturally vigor\s m9d & /rong common s5se4 ,%e 0 a woman ( self-culture1 lov+ books & *oos+ ! be/1 conv]s+ ) m>k$ propriety z well z ease1 & exhibit+ decid$ en]gy & g5]osity ( "*4 ,9 p]son1 %e is describ$ z rem>kable2 ( s comm&+ figure1 b5ignant c\nt5ance1 & dignifi$ demeanor1 z to draw g5]al obs]vation 9 public1 & sugge/ ! ?\ght once express$ by a g5tleman ( intellig5ce1--,%e seems to me z if %e 7 born = an empress4 ,yet h] empire 0 only ! home1 & h] life peculi>ly dome/ic2 ) en\gh ( discipl9e & *ange to prove h] =titude1 b nev] to damp h] *e]fulness4 ,%e 0 a ,*ri/ian4 ,9 e>ly life1 p]haps f causes already ref]r$ to1 h] m9d _h be5 di/urb$1 & app>5tly d\bts rais$1 ?\gh nev] fix$1 by sceptical writ]s & s-call$ philosophical reason]s1--m common 9 good society !n ?an n[1 & m bold & insidi\s1 not)/&+ our compla9ts ( pres5t deg5]acy4 ,a g5tleman to :om ,mrs4 ,pick>d _h once communicat$ h] difficulties1 & :o 0 less a believ] ?an %e1 spoke ( h] ! day aft] h] dea?1 9 ref]5ce to t conflict1 z "o ( /rong m9d1 :o took no?+ ^u tru/ ev5 at t e>ly age :5 %e approa*$ him ) ob/9ate que/ion+s4 ,:atev] ! effect ^u 8 fai?1 h] own 0 /r5g!n$ by all inquiry & exp]i5ce4 ,%e 0 a memb] ( ! ,episcopal ,*ur*1 ?\gh app>5tly less a devotee to its ritual ?an ,mr4 ,pick>d4 ,n sect1 b piety1 0 ! s\rce ( h] p[] & peace4 ,9 religion1 says "o mo/ intimate1 %e 0 uno/5tati\s & *>itable1 b decid$ & s9c]e2 & h] :ole life 0 an exhibition ( ! asc5dancy ( pr9ciple ov] m]e ta/e & feel+4 ,su* 0 ! "m1 :o 0 ! con/ant companion & in/ructor ( an only daught]1 ?r\gh ! :ole ( *ildhood2 = ,m>y nev] att5d$ s*ool1 t we c f9d1 until %e 0 ne>ly ?irte5 ye>s old4 ,b 9 t be/ ( s*ools = ! v "y1 an intellig5t & quiet home1 %e 0 well in/ruct$ 9 ! common bran*es1 9 habits ( ord]1 ref9em5t1 & frugality1 9 pr9ciples ( undeviat+ tru? & integrity1 & 9 t mo/ ess5tial ( all accompli%m5ts = a girl1 :e!r 9 ord9>y or exalt$ /ation1 ! use ( ! ne$le4 ,h] "m also taught h] to s+1 be+ h]self passionately fond ( music1 ) "o ( ! sweete/ voices1 &1 ?\gh n a great p]=m]1 en\gh s to imp>t a love ( x to h] *ild :i* always cont9u$1 associat$ ) holy recollections4 ,(t51 says "o1 at e>ly ev5+1 j be=e go+ to re/1 h ,i se5 ! little girl ^u h] "m's lap1 & h he>d h] s++ h] ev5+ hymn3-- ',tea* me to live1 t ,i may dread ,! grave z little z my b$'2 c4 ,9 ,janu>y1 #ahjb1 ,mr4 ,pick>d 0 call$ to ,engl& on bus9ess1 & took ) him 8 wife & ! little ,m>y1 !n b ?ree ye>s old4 ,!y rema9$ !re a ye> & a half1 visit+ bo? 8 & h] relatives1 9 diff]5t p>ts ( ! k+dom2 ,mrs4 ,pick>d be+ connect$1 on h] "m's side1 ) ,alex&] ,middleton1 a ,scot* f>m]1 9 ^: family ,f]guson1 ! a/ronom]1 liv$ z a %eph]d boy1 & ( :om1 ) 8 wife & ?ree *ildr51 !re are /ill exi/+ lik5esses drawn 9 p5cil by t lad1 s celebrat$ z a man4 ,among su* fri5ds1 & 9 su* new sc5es1 we c believe a deep impression w\ld be tak5 by an obs]v+1 ?\ghtful *ild1 ?\gh at an age :5 x is consid]$ ( little consequ5ce :at a *ild sees or he>s4 ,m>y nev] =got ! enjoym5t or ! in/ruction ( t visit4 ,:5 %e 0 aga9 9 ,engl&1 tw5ty ye>s lat]1 %e wrote h] fri5ds "h t %e 0 surpris$ to f9d h]self recogniz+ h] old home 9 ,guild=d ,/reet1 ,london1 & o!r objects ) :i* %e 0 !n famili>4 ,& ye>s aft]w>ds1 :5 h] own *ildr5 came r\nd h] ) ! nev]-satisfi$ reque/1 ,"m1 d tell u ab\t :5 y 7 a little girl1 ! /&+ favorites 7 incid5ts :i* occurr$ ei!r 9 ,engl& or on ! voyage home1 & p>ticul>ly ! foll[+4 ,dur+ ! voyage1 h] fif? bir?day came r\nd1 & ! capta9 promis$ h] bak$ potatoes = h] d9n]1 b1 z ! cook burnt !m1 ?reat5$ to give him ! cat-o'n9e-tails2 :5 poor little ,m>y1 n tak+ ! joke1 bur/ into te>s1 & begg$ him n to hurt ! k9d1 good sailor1 :o didn't mean to burn ! potatoes4 ,a lady :o came z pass5g] 9 ! same vessel1 has told u ( ! peculi> sweetness ( little ,m>y1 & ! univ]sal int]e/ & love inspir$ by h] 9 ! %ip's company4 ,& ?is f no outw>d attractions1 or ef=ts to comm5d h]self1 b by ! simple p[] ( goodness1 & h] ev]-prompt ob$i5ce4 ,if incl9$ to g any:]e1 or d any ?+1 n approv$ by h] "m1 x 0 always en\gh to say1--,x w make me unhappy1 my *ild1 if y d t4 ,a few extracts :i* we are p]mitt$ to make f lett]s t pass$1 dur+ ?is abs5ce abroad1 betwe5 ,mrs4 ,pick>d & h] p>5ts1 w help to %[ ! respect & affection :i* ! daught] inspir$1 z well z ! int]e/ felt 9 ! little gr&daught]4 ,"u date ( ,janu>y #aj1 #ahjb1 ,james ,lovell writes f ,bo/on to 8 daught] 9 ,engl&3-- ,i con/antly recur to ! joyful consid]ation1 t y1 ?\gh abs5t1 are /ill left to me1 an amiable object1 )9 ! rea* ( hope1 & a s\rce ( expect$ com=t = my la/ days4 ,i ?9k ( y1 at ?is mom5t1 z safely arriv$ ) y\r mo/ wor?y husb&1 & my ,none-su*1 9 heal?1 & happy among y\r fri5ds4 ,my engagem5ts 9 (fice1 especially s9ce ,g5]al ,l9coln has be5 conf9$ by sickness at ,h+ham1 h occupi$ me v mu*4 ,?\gh x is ev5+1 little ,dickey is bri/l+ up & attempt+ to s+1 t ,i may n =get to tell my de> little ,molly ,pitty h[ con/antly he looks = h] 9 ! morn+1 at ! rattl+ ( ! tongs & f5d]4 ,kiss ! de> *ild = me4 ,,james ,,lovell1--ne$ ,i add1 y\r affectionate fa!r8 ,9 ,febru>y1 #ahjc1 ,mrs4 ,pick>d writes home to h] "m3-- ,y\r pickles & b]ries came 9 good ord]1 & 7 v acceptable1 p>ticul>ly to my d>l+ ,m>y4 ,%e (t5 ?anks y = !m1 & is n[ writ+ to y1 & int]rupts me e m9ute to he> h] read h] lett]4 ,my fa!r mu/ n laugh1 & say ,i call my goose a swan2 e "o all[s %e is a *>m+ *ild4 ,y w n be able to d5y h] a l>ge portion ( y\r love1 ?\gh y h s _m lovely ones ) y4 ,%e has be5 an inexhau/ible s\rce ( com=t to me s9ce ,i left y2 &1 z if %e knew x w\ld please u all1 mo/ ( h] conv]sation is ( home & ! fri5ds %e left !re4 ,%e has a sad cold1 b %e says %e is always happy4 ,f>ewell1 de> "m4 ,god bless y all4 ,m>*1 #ahjc4 ,f ! same3-- ,we are /ill 9 ,guild=d ,/reet1 b ?9k ( go+ into ! c\ntry1 :]e ,m>y may h m field = ex]cise4 ,%e is pretty well1 b wants a little c\ntry air4 ,i wi% y knew all h] little *at ab\t y1 s pleas+ to he>1 b s fooli% to write4 ,%e is v tall & lively4444 ,mr4 ,p4 is ev5 m anxi\s ?an ,i to g home4 ,m>y is ! only cont5t$ "o4 ,%e is happy all ! "t4 ,%e has a v sweet disposition1 & ,i hope w "o day be z great a com=t to y z %e is to me4 ,%e is tell+ me a ?\s& little affectionate ?+s to say to y4 ,9 ! fall ( ?is ye> ! family return$ to ,bo/on1 & liv$ ) ,mrs4 ,lovell 9 ,pe>l ,/reet2 & !re1 ) p>5ts & gr&p>5ts1 ,m>y f\nd a home1 ^: bless+ fill$ h] he>t1 & nev] left h] to ! day ( h] dea?4 ,! home ( h] *ildhood1--h[ rev]5tly & t5d]ly did %e rev]t to x1 ?r\gh all ! sc5es ( a *ang+ & ev5tful life6 ,(t5 has %e said1 t %e 0 cont9ually c>ri$ back1 n only 9 h] wak+1 b h] sleep+ h\rs1 to ! old ,pe>l ,/reet h\se & g>d52 assembl+ ! v>i\s fri5ds ( all ! diff]5t p]iods ( h] life1 9 dream-l incongruity1 9 ! little p>lor1 ) its black-oak wa9scot+4 ,!re also 7 =m$ "s ( ^? fir/ fri5d%ips1 :i* d n cease ) *ildhood1 b affect ! happ9ess ( a lifetime4 ,! o!r half ( ! block 9 :i* !y liv$ 0 occupi$ by ,colonel ,t4 ,h4 ,p]k9s1 & ) 8 *ildr51 ( :om "s 7 ne> h] own age1 %e grew up 9 t]ms ( daily intimacy4 ,9 ! p>tition betwe5 ! two h\ses !re 7 doors :i* 7 entirely clos$1 except _! keyholes2 & ?r\gh ^!1 ,m>y & h] favorite companion us$ to s+ to ea* o!r all ! songs we c\ld mu/]1 & ex*ange notes & exp]i5ces1 ! pleasure enhanc$1 no d\bt1 by ! excitem5t ( ! little my/]y occasion$ by s peculi> a mode ( communication4 ,s f> z our scanty mat]ials ( ?is p]iod enable u to judge1 we inf] t 9 ! tra9+ ( ?is favorite *ild !re 0 a s+ul>ly wise union ( control & indulg5ce4 ,mrs4 ,pick>d seems n to h be5 "o ( ! p>5ts :o ?9k control & indulg5ce incompatible2 nor does x appe> t ,m>y 0 incl9$ to refuse ! "o1 or abuse ! o!r4 ,! true tra9+1 we suppose1--if !re be any rule = all1--is t :i* all[s to *ildr5 all ! fre$om & enjoym5t consi/5t ) def]5ce to au?ority1 ref9$ mann]s1 & fix$ pr9ciples ( tru?1 g5tl5ess1 & unselfi%ness4 ,t ^! pr9ciples may be inculcat$ )\t /]nness or p]petual re/ra9t1 inde$ ) a l>ge all[ance = ! necess>y activity & (t5 irrepressible exub]ance ( *ildhood's _s1 few c d\bt1 ?\gh s _m d5y or =get x 9 practice4 ,f ! views :i* ,mrs4 ,w>e h]self always express$ on ?is subject1 & ! rev]5ce & gratitude ) :i* %e adv]t$ to h] own *ildhood1 we are confirm$ 9 ! impression1 t su* 0 h] uni=m exp]i5ce at home1 & ) ! happie/ effect4 ,x has be5 said1 writes a fri5d ( h] "m1 t %e 0 mu* indulg$2 & ,i believe x may be said s ) tru?4 ,b %e 0 n indulg$ 9 idl5ess1 selfi%ness1 & rud5ess2 %e 0 indulg$ 9 heal?ful sports1 9 abundance ( play?+s1 9 pleasant excursions1 & 9 companion%ip ) o!r *ildr51 z mu* z might be conv5i5t4 ,i nev] knew h] to be teas+ & importunate1 ob/9ate or contradictory4 ,nor is ?is to be ascrib$1 z _m w be ready to ascribe x1 to natural temp]am5t & a peculi> exemption f ord9>y temptations & trials4 ,( few p]sons1 p]haps1 w\ld ?is be m g5]ally inf]r$ or confid5tly ass]t$1 f a k m]ely ( h] subsequ5t "*4 ,x is on ?is acc\nt t we ref] to x p>ticul>ly1 & = ?is n lea/ t we value ! example4 ,= we "k x 0 n a case ( peculi> exemption & easy control1 b r a rem>kable in/ance ( e>ly conflict1 ! p[] ( pr9ciple1 & p]petual self-discipl9e4 ,?is we ga!r f occasional h9ts 9 conv]sation1 & f lett]s to h] own *ildr51 "s ( :i* w appe> 9 _! prop] place4 ,at pres5t1 we only adduce1 = ! "r und]/&+ bo? ( ?is & lat] p]iods ( h] life1 "o or two %ort passages1 l ! foll[+1 f a lett] to a daught]4 ,! t5d5cy to self-indulg5ce 0 also "o ( my trials1 9 e>ly life1 :5 ,i grew rapidly & _h poor heal?4 ,my trials ( temp] 7 diff]5t f y\rs1 b !y 7 v great4 ,:at a com=t x is1 t1 al?\gh ^? :o see only ! outside c nev] compute :at is resi/$1 all our /ruggles are kn[n & appreciat$ by ,him :o looke? on ! he>t z x is2 & t ,he :o alone c give u /r5g? is ?us enabl$ to "k :5 & h[ x is ne$$4 ,to ?is brief sket* ( h] *ildhood we v5ture to add an extract f a lett] j writt5 u1 by a g5tleman ?an :om no "o liv+1 probably1 0 m intimate ) ,m>y & h] home1 at t e>ly p]iod4 ,aft] a w>m tribute to ! "* ( ! "m1 confirm+ all we h said ( h]1 he speaks ?us ( ! daught]3-- ,:5 ,i fir/ rememb] h]1 x is z a g5tle1 lov+1 active *ild1 always do+ "s little useful ?+1 & ! d>l+ ( h] p>5ts' he>ts4 ,:5 h] "* fir/ %one on me 9 its high] attributes1 ,i d n "k4 ,b ,i seem to myself to rememb]1 t !re nev] 0 a "t :5 ,i c\ld h suppos$ x possible t %e w\ld d any ?+ t 0 n exactly "r2 :5 ,i _h n p]fect confid5ce 9 h] tact & judgm5t to disc]n duty1 & ! prompt & unhesitat+ det]m9ation to d x1 z ! only ?+ to be done4 ,,iii4 ,,m5tal ,,& ,,moral ,,culture4 ,rema9+ 9 ,bo/on1 ) little *ange1 until %e 0 ?irte5 ye>s ( age1 ,m>y ,pick>d 0 !n tak5 by h] p>5ts to ,h+ham1 ,massa*usetts1 to be "u ! c>e ( ! ,misses ,cu%+1 ^: s*ool = girls enjoy$ at t "t1 & z long z x cont9u$1 a v high reputation4 ,h] in/ructors !re1 :o /ill live1 seem to h reg>d$ h] z a fri5d & companion1 r ?an a *ild & pupil2 & ! fre% recollections & t5d] love ) :i* !y always speak ( h]1 & delight to dwell ^u h] e>ly & mature "*1 give u an impression ( m ?an common excell5ce4 ,?is w be/ be %[n by an extract f a lett] writt5 s9ce h] dea? to "o ( h] *ildr54 ,y\r de> "m came to u fir/ 9 ,june1 #ahaa2 a sweet1 int]e/+ girl1 ?irte5 ye>s old1 tall = t age1 & ) ! same sweet expression ( c\nt5ance %e ev] reta9$2 rem>kable ev5 !n = h] dis9t]e/$ness & =getfulness ( self1 & h] p[] ( ga9+ ! love ( all ar\nd h]4 ,%e w5t home 9 ,novemb] ( ! same ye>1 & return$ to u aga9 9 #ahad4444 ,%e 0 ) u b little m ?an "o ye> 9 ! :ole1 & 9 t %ort p]iod ende>$ h]self to u 9 a rem>kable mann]4 ,= ) ! love :i* we c\ld n b feel = h] 0 m+l$ a respect & admiration = h] high pr9ciples1 & ! piety :i* %one ?r\gh all h] conduct1 9 a degree v uncommon = a girl ( h] age4 ,z a s*ol> %e 0 exce$+ly bright1 & quick to compreh5d1 & w\ld1 ,i always ?\ght1 h made an excell5t ma!matical s*ol>1 _h %e pursu$ ! /udy ( t bran*4 ,h] capacity = accompli%+ a great deal 9 a %ort "t 0 always rem>kable1 & ,i believe %e nev] und]took any ?+ t %e ?\ght wor? h] att5tion1 t %e did n g ?r\gh to ! satisfaction ( o!rs1 if n ( h]self4 ,h] *ief object1 ev5 :5 a "y girl1 seem$ to be to d good1 9 "s way or o!r1 to h] fell[-be+s1 & %e consid]$ no?+ too difficult = h] to und]take1 if x c\ld b5efit ano!r p]son ei!r 9 a temporal or moral view4 ,y h _h suffici5t evid5ce ( ?is1 s9ce y h be5 old en\gh to judge = y\rself1 & ,i c only tell y t x seem$ to be1 at an e>ly p]iod ( h] life1 a liv+ pr9ciple ) h]4 ,yet1 ) all ?is devot$ness to ! highe/ objects & purposes ( our exi/5ce1 %e 0 "o ( ! mo/ lively & playful girls among h] companions1 & a v great favorite ) !m all4 ,m>y _h be5 b five or six mon?s 9 ! s*ool at ,h+ham1 :5 %e 0 call$ back to ,bo/on by ! ?reat5+ illness ( h] "m1 :o cont9u$ feeble ?r\gh ! w9t]1 & di$ 9 ! mon? ( ,may foll[+4 ,t w9t] mu/ h be5 "o ( peculi> exp]i5ce to ,m>y4 ,x 0 h] fir/ great trial4 ,%e lov$ h] "m1 n only z e true *ild mu/1 b ) a rev]5ce & affection height5$ by ! unusual circum/ance ( hav+ be5 always ! pupil ( t "m alone1 reg>d$ z a companion also1 & call$ n[ to ! t5d] (fices ( a nurse1 at an age :5 mo/ *ildr5 c ill be> conf9em5t & devotion to ! sick4 ,m>y 0 nev] happi] ?an :5 ?us occupi$1 z h] :ole life has %[n4 ,to h] x 0 no task1 b a grateful privilege1 to sp5d all h] "t at ! side ( a rev]$ & dep>t+ "m4 ,= six mon?s 0 %e all[$ to give h]self to ?is bless$ m9i/ry2 & :5 x clos$1 %e 0 left1 a girl ( ?irte51 ! sole com=t & *ief companion ( h] fa!r1 n[ pa/ ! prime ( life1 brok5 9 spirits & 9 =tune1 cl++ to ?is only *ild ) doat+ & dep5d5t affection4 ,%e n[ became an important memb] ( ! family 9 ,pe>l ,/reet1 ) h] desolate fa!r1 & h] v5]able gr&p>5ts1 :o 7 /ill liv+1 dep5d+ !mselves m ^u h] = _! com=t ?an ^u ! only son t rema9$ ) !m1 a "y man ^: f9e tal5ts & affectionate disposition 7 p]v]t$ & ru9$ by sad habits4 ,^! 7 circum/ances to call out all h] en]gy1 & make full pro( ( h] judgm5t & g5tl5ess4 ,mr4 ,pick>d _h = "s "t be5 emb>rass$ 9 bus9ess1 &1 f a /ate ( easy compet5ce1 0 !n & aft]w>ds r$uc$ to ! necessity ( ! /ricte/ economy4 ,( 8 daught]'s ess5tial s]vice to him 9 ?is respect1 we h frequ5t intimations 9 8 own lett]s2 & n only by h] prud5t managem5t1 b also by h] g5]\s & active aid1 z w be se5 /ill m a few ye>s lat]4 ,= h] fa!r surviv$ h] "m elev5 ye>s1 & dur+ ! :ole ( t p]iod1 ?\gh n always toge!r1 ,m>y 0 8 effici5t help]1 & 8 devot$ nurse 9 sickness1 ( :i* he _h a l>ge %>e4 ,= two ye>s aft] h] "m's dea?1 %e rema9$ :olly 9 ,bo/on1 enjoy+ "p ( ! "t a new privilege1 :i* %e greatly priz$1--admission to ! be/ s*ool = "y ladies !n 9 ,new ,engl&1 or ! c\ntry1--,dr4 ,p>k's4 ,t %e w\ld improve su* an opportunity to ! be/ ( h] ability1 we ne$ n say4 ,( h] pr(ici5cy z a s*ol>1 !re are no p>ticul> pro(s4 ,%e 0 nev] a prodigy1 b %e nev] slight$ opportunity or duty4 ,%e appe>$ always well1 di/+ui%$ at lea/ = fai?ful prep>ation & uni=m accuracy4 ,& especially 0 %e di/+ui%$ = moral excell5ce4 ,%e 0 ! fri5d & favorite ( all4 ,if petty difficulties occurr$1 ,m>y ,pick>d 0 ! peacemak]4 ,h] imp>tiality1 amiabl5ess1 k9dness to all1 & p]fect tru?fulness1 ende>$ h] to ! tea*] & all ! pupils2 f sev]al ( :om we h _h ! te/imony1 t no "o ev] ex]t$ a bett] influ5ce ^u any s*ool4 ,! e>lie/ lett]s we h f ,m>y 7 writt5 9 #ahac1 ! ye> aft] h] "m's dea?1 & ab\t ! "t ( h] fir/ go+ to s*ool 9 ,bo/on4 ,!y are ! lett]s ( a s*ool-girl1 b n ( a *ild4 ,:ile !re is 9 !m no indication ( rem>kable p[]s1 to :i* %e did n pret5d1 nor h] fri5ds = h]1 !y %[ a habit ( reflection & p[] ( discrim9ation1 ) a *oice ( topics n usual at t age4 ,a few passages may be giv51 v simple & juv5ile1 b indicative ( "*4 ,bo/on1 ,febru>y #bg1 #ahac4 ,,my ,,de> ,n----3 ,i am det]m9$ ano!r day %all n pass be=e ,i answ] y\r lett]4 ,i ?9k x is ! be/ way1 :5 we receive a lett]1 to sit d[n imm$iately & answ] x2 at lea/ ,i f9d x s1 ?\gh ,i d n always practise x4444 ,we talk s mu* :5 we meet1 t !re is little left to write1 & ,i am n[ at a loss :at to say4 ,! folly ( ! fa%ionable _w is an old /ory1 & if n1 is too va/ a subject = our limit$ views ( x4 ,( our s*ool plan we h said mu*1 b we c say m4 ,i _h no idea t su* insignificant be+s z we are1 9 comp>ison1 c\ld ev] af=d matt] = s mu* conv]sation z !re has be5 on ?is subject4 ,al?\gh op9ions c\ld n alt] ! case1 yet x is c]ta9ly v satisfactory to "k t our do+s are approv$ by ^? ^: good op9ion we value4 ,i look =w>d ) mu* pleasure to ! day on :i* we %all comm5ce our /udies4 ,we %all feel v awkw>d at fir/1 b x w soon be ov]1 & !n we mu/ endeavor to keep ourselves exempt f ! condemnation t falls on ! :ole s*ool = ! faults ( two or ?ree4444 ,i am read+ ',temp]1' & l x mu* bett] ?an ,i expect$ to1 hav+ he>d no?+ 9 its favor1 &1 besides t1 be+ prejudic$ aga9/ x4 ,i h condemn$ prejudice 9 o!rs1 b nev] felt ! effects ( x be=e2 ,i dislike x n[ m ?an ev]1--x is c]ta9ly a mo/ unreasonable ?+4 ,i l "s ( ! *>act]s v mu*1 & x is n z yet v t$i\s1 b conta9s _m good lessons4 ,i f9d _m t ,i c apply to myself1 & 7z usual7 "s to o!r p4 ,x _c1 h[ev]1 be comp>$ to ',! ,abs5tee' or ',vivian4' ,novels are g5]ally said to be improp] books = "y p1 z !y take up ! "t :i* ought to be employ$ 9 m useful pursuits2 :i* is c]ta9ly v true2 b z a recreation to ! m9d1 su* books z ^! _c possibly d any hurt1 z !y are good moral lessons4 ,inde$1 ,i ?9k !re is sc>cely any book f :i* "s good may n be d]iv$2 ?\gh x _c be expect$ t any "y p]son has judgm5t en\gh to leave all ! bad & take only ! good1 :5 !re is a great proportion ( ! =m]4 ,i "k we are too "y to hold up an op9ion ( our own1 indep5d5t ( ! sup]ior judgm5t ( ^? old]1 & ?is ,i w\ld n d4 ,i h collect$ m9e f obs]vation1 &1 if x is n "r1 w\ld ?ank any "o to correct x2 nor w\ld ,i (f] x at all to any "o b y1 or ^? ( my own age4 ,t la/ s5tim5t w seem v juv5ile to _m "y p ( ! pres5t day1 b x is none ! worse = t4 ,nor by ?is writ] 0 ! expression ( su* s5tim5ts re/rict$ to t age2 = mode/y & def]5ce1 comb9$ ) self-respect & decision1 7 m>k$ features & peculi> graces ( ! "* we are pres5t+4 ,!y are features & graces ( a /rong m9d4 ,sup]cili\sness1 9 y\? or maturity1 is a sign ( weakness4 ,& x says little = ! improvem5t or ! promise ( ! pres5t1 if x be true t respect = exp]i5ce1 rev]5ce = age1 & meekness ( expression1 are r>e qualities 9 ! "y4 ,m>y 0 /ill "y1 :5 %e wrote to h] fa!r1--,i am no advocate = de/roy+ t delicacy :i* =ms1 or ought to =m1 s great a "p ( ! female "*4 ,b su* a degree ( x z is n compatible ) suffici5t firmness to comm& "o's self 9 dang]1 appe>s to me to be false mode/y1 or 'sickly s5sibility ( s\l1'--b5ea? ! dignity ( be+s end[$ ) p[] = high] feel+s4 ,"h is t union ( humility & c\rage :i* m>k$ h] :ole c\rse4 ,9 all h] e>ly lett]s !re is an entire abs5ce ( t trivial talk ab\t dress1 p>ties1 & ! gossip ( ! day1 s common at h] age4 ,in/ead ( x1 we f9d rem>ks ei!r ^u moral & religi\s !mes1 or ^u h] read+ & /udies4 ,9 ! v e>lie/ lett] we h1 writt5 9 a *ild's h&1 %e speaks ( h] int]e/ 9 ! ,life ( ,wa%+ton1 9 five l>ge octavo volumes1 & expresses ! op9ion1 t ! hi/ory ( "o's c\ntry ought to be ! fir/ hi/orical lesson ( a *ild4 ,ab\t ! same "t1 we f9d h] deeply engag$ 9 an argum5t ^u ! moral influ5ce ( ! /udy ( a/ronomy2 & h] m9d rises to ! highe/ & ! l>ge/ views4 ,! h& ( ,almighty ,god c]ta9ly %\ld raise 9 our s\ls su* unb\nd$ adoration & love1 t our only object w\ld be1 to be wor?y to appe> be=e ! pres5ce ( su* excell5t goodness1 & p>take ( ! joys ( heav54 ,x seems unacc\ntable1 t any "o c\ld = a mom5t raise 8 eyes to ! sky & n be conv9c$ ( ! be+ ( "s sup]ior p[]1 :o rules & directs ! pa?s ( ! planets & ! ways ( ! *ildr5 ( m54 ,if we = a mom5t transport ourselves to ano!r "p ( ! univ]se1 & behold our little insignificant ,e>? 9 comp>ison ) ! re/1 or ) any o!r planet1 & consid] h[ highly favor$ x has be5 ) ! pres5ce ( ! ,son ( its ,creator1 are we to ?9k t we alone are ?us honor$1 & t sup]ior worlds are n end[$ 9 ! same mann] ) a k ( heav5ly ?+s8 ,b ,i f9d myself gett+ into an argum5t1 on :i*1 ?\gh ! subject may be int]e/+1 ! /yle ( ! writ] mu/ be t$i\s4 ,^! extracts are f lett]s writt5 to a fri5d ne> h] own age1 ) :om !re began at ?is "t ! longe/ & mo/ confid+ intimacy ( h] life1 out ( ! circle ( imm$iate connections1 if inde$ any exception ne$ be made4 ,to ?is fri5d are address$ "s ( ! fir/ & la/ lett]s t ,m>y ev] wrote1 & by f> ! l>g] numb] ( all :i* we use = ?is sket*4 ,x is an evid5ce ( ! fai?fulness ( h] fri5d%ips1 t f ! date ( ! e>lie/ lett] we h1 ?r\gh ne>ly =ty ye>s1 %e wrote to t same fri5d1 beside o!r occasional lett]s1 a ,new ,ye>'s epi/le1 e ye>1 to ! la/ 9 h] life4 ,& to h] 7 confid$ h] fir/ & deepe/ trials1 disclos$ to no "o else1 & beg9n+ :ile at s*ool4 ,!re is some?+ bo? +5u\s & magnanim\s 9 su* s5tim5ts z ! foll[+1 f a girl ( fifte51 :om ! dea? ( a "m _h plac$ 9 circum/ances ( peculi> responsibility1 & (t5 pa9ful p]plexity4 ,i expose to y my weaknesses1 my faults1 my passions4 ,!re is b "o ?+ ( :i* ,i h ! slighte/ appreh5sion4 ,y may sometimes he> me blam$ = de$s :i* y "k are "r4 ,y w he> my lot 9 life envi$1 z app>5tly all t ! reasonable wi%es ( any be+ c\ld desire4 ,& sometimes1 too1 busy ,sc&al1 :i* honors ev5 ! mo/ insignificant ) h] notice1 w glance at me4 ,y\r g5]\s1 affectionate he>t w prompt1 ,i well "k1 on ^? occasions1 "s def5ce ( y\r fri5d4 ,b nev] give way to x2 nev] :isp] to ! w9ds t %e has any trials4 ,x w necess>ily involve ! "q1 ,:at are !y8 ,y are ! only p]son to :om ,i ev] communicat$ !m1 & my consci5ce almo/ reproa*es me = x4 ,i try to ?9k my peculi> lonel9ess sanctions x1 b my v uneas9ess proves x 0 n /rictly "r1 & ,i w\ld n = worlds s9 f>!r4 ,y w be> ) me4 ,all ?is is fooli%1 b ,i mu/ say x4 ,i defy any "o to tell f my appe>ance t ,i h n e ?+ to make me happy4 ,i h mu*1 & ,i am happy4 ,my little trials are ess5tial to my happ9ess4 ,!y tea* me to value ! only true s\rces ( enjoym5t ?is life c af=d1--! affection ( ! good1 ! cultivation ( ! bett] feel+s ( ! s\l 9 ! s]vice ( _! ,creator1 & ! joyful hope ( a bett]1 pur] /ate ( exi/5ce4 ,bless+s & peace g ) y1 & pure1 unalloy$ felicity be y\r portion = ev]4 ,,m>y4 ,9 ! latt] "p ( ! ye> #ahad1 ,m>y left ,bo/on = ,h+ham1 to be aga9 9 ! family & "u ! tuition ( ! ,misses ,cu%+4 ,( h] "* !n1 & ! r5ew$ impression made ^u h] in/ructors1 a lett] :i* we h rec5tly receiv$ f "o ( !m w give ! be/ idea2 ?\gh1 f reg>d to ! writ]'s wi%es1 we quote b a small "p4 ,i c h>dly give y an idea ( my feel+s t[>ds h]1 dur+ ! :ole ( h] resid5ce ) u1 )\t seem+ to speak extravagantly4 ,e day's exp]i5ce confirm$ our fir/ impressions ( h]1 & %[$ 9 "s =m ! sweetness ( h] disposition1 h] self-sacrific+ _s1 & untir+ devotion to ! claims ( ^? ab\t h]4 ,%e possess$ su* purity ( he>t1 & elevation ( pr9ciple1 z 7 c]ta9ly uncommon at su* an e>ly p]iod ( life1 & :i*1 x seem$ to me !n1 c\ld only arise f a con/ant s5se ( ! ,div9e pres5ce1 & an habitual communion ) ! ,s\rce ( all good4 ,love 0 always1 ) h]1 ! pr$om9ant feel+ 9 h] ?\ght ( ,god1 & ,i h he>d h] say %e nev] rememb]$ ! "t :5 %e did n feel t %e lov$ ,god4 ,?is 0 said1 y may be sure1 n boa/+ly1 b f surprise at he>+ "s "o speak ( ! difficulty ( giv+ ! he>t to ,god4 ,& n[ came a crisis 9 t inn] life1 :i* 0 always great] to ,m>y ,pick>d ?an ! outw>d4 ,always ?\ghtful z well z *e]ful1 h] int]e/ 9 religion1 & h] wi% to be :olly a foll[] ( ,*ri/1 l$ h] to an act1 too r>e ) ! "y1 & requir+1 9 s*ool & college p>ticul>ly1 c\rage z well z pr9ciple4 ,%e desir$ to connect h]self publicly ) ! ,*ur*4 ,& ! convictions by :i* %e 0 br\ght to ?is purpose1 ) ! views %e ent]ta9$ ( ! nature & importance ( ! act1 we make no apology = giv+1 z fully z we f9d !m express$ 9 h] own lett]s2 = !re are old] m9ds t might be in/ruct$1 & d\bt]s :o might be admoni%$ & aid$1 ev5 by s y\?ful a believ]4 ,m>y _h receiv$ baptism 9 ,tr9ity ,*ur*1 ,bo/on1 b x is evid5t t 9 h] moral tra9+ m he$ _h be5 giv5 to ! cultivation ( piety ?an to adh]5ce to =ms & special doctr9es4 ,! prea*+ t %e usually he>d1 9 ! *ur* ( h] p>5ts1 did n edify or satisfy h]2 a fact :i* we give1 )\t comm5t1 z "p ( a fai?ful record1 & z we f9d x 9 h] own acc\nt to a son1 9 "o ( ! la/ ye>s ( h] life4 ,! language 9 :i* %e !re describes h] e>ly religi\s wants is unusually /rong = h]1 & might seem extravagant4 ,we give only ! result ( h] dissatisfaction ) :at %e he>d f ! pulpit4 ,! f9al effect ^u me 01 by ?r[+ me m ^u myself1 to op5 a new s\rce ( religi\s in/ruction to my m9d2 & ,i c n[ rememb] ) great pleasure1 & a long+ desire = ! same vivid enjoym5t1 ! h\rs ,i pass$ 9 'my little room1' 9 /riv+1 by read+1 m$itation1 & pray]1 to f9d t k & /imulus to virtue :i* ,i fail$ to f9d 9 ! m9i/rations ( ! ,sabba?4 ,& !n mo/ e>ne/ly does %e exhort h] son n to let ^! ?+s1 or any ?+1 tempt him to treat sacr$ ?+s ) levity & disrespect4 ,few m9ds h kept !mselves1 ?r\gh life1 m free bo? f levity & bigotry4 ,at ! "t ( :i* we speak1 %e seems to h ?\ght only ( h] own unwor?9ess1 h] ne$ ( religion1 & ! greatness ( ! privilege (f]$ h]4 ,a long note :i* %e wrote to "o ( ! tea*]s ) :om %e 0 liv+1 & to :om %e confid$ all h] feel+s1 w expla9 ! :ole4 ,x be>s no date1 b mu/ h be5 writt5 9 ! autumn ( #ahad1 :5 %e 0 ab\t sixte54 ,saturday ,morn+4 ,w y1 my de> ,miss ,c41 p>don my address+ y 9 ?is way1 :5 "u ! same ro(2 b z ,i c\ld n speak on ! subject ,i h n[ mo/ at he>t1 9 ! pres5ce ( any "o1 ,i did n ?9k x "r to engross exclusively s mu* ( y\r valuable "t z w\ld be necess>y to say all ,i wi% to4 ,i c\ld n feel satisfi$ ) my own conclusions1 until ,i _h appeal$ to y1 & ,i hope ?is w excuse ! lib]ty ,i take4 ,?\gh /ill "y1 ,i h ta/$ ! bitt] cup ( affliction & disappo9tm5t1 & h f\nd ?us e>ly t all worldly enjoym5ts are incapable ( promot+ happ9ess1 or ev5 ( secur+ pres5t gratifications2 & 9 e deprivation h felt ! heal+ balm ( religion to be ! only s\rce ( consolation to ! w\nd$ _s & afflict$ m9d4 ,b ,i may1 inde$1 say ) s9c]ity1 ',x is good = me t ,i h be5 afflict$1' = x l$ me to reflect on ! end = :i* ,i 0 creat$1 to exam9e my own he>t1 &1 by comp>+ x ) ! ,*ri/ian /&>d1 to prove its weakness & awake to a s5se ( my dang]4 ,a v little reflection conv9c$ me ,i _h be5 lead+ a v diff]5t life f t :i* 0 requisite to =m ! "* ( a true ,*ri/ian1 & t ,i mu/ ex]cise my utmo/ p[]s to r$eem ! "t :i* ,i _h lo/1 & :i* c\ld nev] be recall$4 ,?\gh ,i _c ?9k ! obs]vance ( any religi\s c]emonies suffici5t to secure future happ9ess1 unless ! motive = _! p]=mance is f\nd$ on fai? 9 ! ^w ( ,god1 z reveal$ to u by 8 ,son1 yet !y seem to me necess>y1 n only 9 a moral1 b religi\s po9t ( view1 to ! atta9m5t ( t degree ( p]fection :i* we are taught x is 9 ! p[] ( e "o to atta94 ,ev] s9ce ,i h ?\ght at all on ! subject1 x has be5 my e>ne/ wi% to be admitt$ a memb] ( ! ,*ur* ( ,*ri/4 ,x is a duty :i* ,i _c b ?9k is ( ! highe/ importance1 bo? z x is fulfill+ ! la/ reque/ ( "o to :om we owe all we enjoy "h or hope = h]eaft]1 & z x cont9ually rem9ds u ( our obligations to obey 8 precepts1 t5ds to make u bett]1 & m wor?y our high call+4 ,if we assume ! "n ( ,*ri/ians1 & obey n ^? positive comm&s ( our ,savi\r :i* are 9 ! p[] ( e "o :o is s9c]e1 h[ c we expect to receive a cont9uance ( 8 favors8 ,fe>+ ,i 0 too "y fully to compreh5d ! use & importance ( s solemn a rite1 ,i h delay$ say+ or do+ any ?+ ab\t x4 ,i h ?\ght mu* on x1 & summ$ up all ! reasons :i* appe>$ to me to prove x absolutely necess>y to our happ9ess & well-be+1 & all ! objections t arose 9 my m9d aga9/ ! propriety ( "y p]sons jo9+ 9 x4 ,i !n read e book on ! subject ,i c\ld meet )1 & f\nd 9 none ( !m half z _m objections z ,i _h rais$1 & v few argum5ts 9 its favor :i* ,i _h n ?\ght (4 ,d n ?9k x has made me ?9k bett] ( myself ?an ,i des]ve1--f> f x2 x made me feel m s5sibly my own unwor?9ess1 :5 comp>$ ) :at ,i cont9ually saw ,i ought to be4 ,/ill1 z ,i c\ld n give up all ?\ghts ( x1 ,i det]m9$ to appeal to y4 ,tell me1 my de> ,miss ,c41 if y %\ld consid] x a violation ( ! sacr$ness ( ! in/itution1 to ?9k ,i might ) impunity be a memb]8 ,i am well aw>e ( ! condemnation d5\nc$ on ^? :o p>take unwor?ily1 & ,i tremble to ?9k h[ liable ,i %all be to fall into error & s91 & h[ mu* great] w be my responsibility4 ,^! reflections h hi!rto prev5t$ my propos+ x to my fa!r or any "o1 & n[ almo/ make me fe> ,i am do+ wrong 9 writ+ to y4 ,i am afraid ,i am presumptu\s1 &1 did ,i n view x r z a means ( religion ?an ! end1 ,i %\ld h>dly suppose !re 7 _m :o c\ld say !y 7 wor?y ( x4 ,i _c ?9k !re is any my/]y connect$ ) x1 z "s are s eag] to prove1 & its v simplicity r5d]s x ! m int]e/+ & useful1 & increases ! obligation to p]=m x4 ,=give me1 my de> ,miss ,c41 if ,i h said any ?+ wrong1 & correct me if y see any se$s ( vice 9 me4 ,recollect ,i h be5 ! gu>dian ( myself too long n to h err$ v mu* 9 my ideas ( e ?+2 pity1 & make me bett]1 if ! task is n too disc\rag+2 & be assur$1 ! pure/ love & gratitude ( :i* ,i am capable w be ! s9c]e (f]+ ( y\r affectionate "y fri5d1 ,,m>y4 ,! self-scrut9y & humility ev9c$ 9 ?is note prev5t$ any ha/y action4 ,m>y seems /ill to h delib]at$1 & s\ght all ! light & direction %e c\ld obta94 ,a long lett]1 ( :i* we give a portion1 to h] true fri5d1 ,n4 ,c4 ,s41 9 ,bo/on1 %[s h] /ate ( inquiry & progress4 ,h+ham1 ,janu>y #ac?1 #ahae4 ,y c\ld n possibly h receiv$ m pleasure f he>+ ,mr4 ,?a*]'s s]mon1 ?an ,i did f read+ y\r ab/ract ( x4 ,no?+ c\ld be m satisfactory to me1 :o /ill d\bt$ :e!r x w\ld n be a violation ( ! sacr$ness ( ! in/itution1 = any "o s ?\ghtless & liable to fall into s9 & folly to jo9 9 su* a holy (f]+1 ) ! good & fai?ful ( ! e>?4 ,b t 0 en\gh to conv9ce any "o :o believ$ ! obligation 9 any degree to be great1 t x ext5d$ to "y z well z old1 & w\ld be an effectual means ( turn+ !m f error to a k ( tru?1 w\ld make !m happy "h1 & be almo/ a security ( x h]eaft]4 ,& ?\gh ! puni%m5t ( ^? :o outw>dly pr(ess !mselves disciples ( ,*ri/1 & yet devote _! "t & ?\ghts to ! _w1 is inevitable1 ,i _c b ?9k x w be 9 a mu* great] degree inflict$ on ^? :o :olly neglect x1 p>ticul>ly :5 once conv9c$ ( its importance4 ,we h bo? felt ! p[] :i* only ! sight ( o!rs p]=m+ ?is duty has _h on our m9ds2 :at !n w x be1 :5 we jo9 9 x ourselves1 & feel ! direct influ5ce ( ^? heav5ly rays1 :i* enlight5 ! ,*ri/ian at ! alt> ( 8 ,god1 & guide him 9 8 dre>y progress ?r\gh ! _w to heav56 ,surely !n we %\ld n hesitate2 n[1 :ile x is 9 our p[]1 x w\ld be absolute wick$ness to neglect ! p]=mance ( su* a reasonable & delightful act ( duty4 ,,m>y4 ,b "o d\bt n[ rema9$ 9 h] m9d2 t caus$ by ! _m diff]5ces among believ]s1 & ! num]\s bran*es ( ! ,*ri/ian ,*ur*4 ,b ?is %e soon answ]$ = h]self1 ) h] usual simplicity & l>g5ess ( view4 ,i h consid]$ ! ,*ur* ( ,*ri/ to be "o body diffus$ ?r\gh ! :ole _w1 & t sects1 =m1 & op9ion made 9 tru? no ess5tial diff]5ce2--t all ! v>i\s d5om9ations ( ,*ri/ians on ! e>? 7 unit$ 9 "o _s & "o m9d1 9 all ! important doctr9es ( religion4 ,n long aft]1 %e receiv$ f h] confid+ fri5d an acc\nt ( simil> feel+s 9 h]self1 toge!r ) an excell5t note f ! ,rev4 ,john ,e4 ,abbot1 enc\rag+ _! s]i\s purpose4 ,m>y's reply foll[s4 ,h+ham1 ,april #a/1 #ahae4 ,i d1 inde$1 my de> fri5d1 rejoice ) y 9 ! unexpect$ & happy ev5t y\r la/ lett] in=m$ me (4 ,i _h felt all y\r d\bts & fe>s z ?\gh !y 7 my own1 &1 ,i d assure y1 p>ticipat$ 9 y\r joy ) ! same s9c]ity4 ,h[ mu* reason h we to be grateful = ?is in/ance ( ! ov]rul+ ,provid5ce6 ,does x n suffici5tly prove1 t1 if ) s9c]ity & pur5ess ( he>t we und]take to p]=m any duty1 we may rely on ! assi/ance ( ! ,holy ,_s to guide our /eps1 & to cause all ?+s to concur to r5d] x easy & delightful8 ,i _c tell y h[ mu* x increas$ my own happ9ess to "k t y1 too1 felt happy2 = !re is 9 ! sympa?y ( fri5ds some?+ t increases all our pleasures & alleviates all our pa9s4 ,x is to ?is ,i owe half t ,i enjoy 9 ?is life1 & )\t x wret*$ mu/ be exi/5ce1 ev5 9 prosp]ity1 & all o!r e>?ly bless+s4 ,i believe ,i h m5tion$ (t5 to y ! desire ,i _h ( becom+ "o ( ! *ur* "h1 if ,i c\ld be sure ( rema9+ "h ?is summ]4 ,:5 ,i f\nd !re 0 no d\bt ( t1 ,i _h only to ov]come ! fe>s :i* a consci\sness ( weakness & liability to relapse into =m] coldness /ill kept alive 9 my m9d4 ,n[ all h subsid$1 & ,i am conv9c$ t x is dang]\s to delay s important a s]vice4 ,f ! mom5t ,i _h decid$ :at to d1 n a feel+ arose :i* ,i c\ld wi% to suppress2 consci\s ( pure motives1 all )9 0 calm1 & ,i wond]$ h[ ,i c\ld = a mom5t hesitate4 ,!y 7 feel+s ,i nev] be=e exp]i5c$1 & = once ,i realiz$ t x is only :5 we are at peace ) ourselves t we c enjoy true happ9ess4 444 ,i ?9k1 all ?+s consid]$1 ,i 0 nev] m happy 9 my life4 ,x 0 a bright1 cle> night1 & ! moon :i* rose j z ,i w5t to b$1 %9+ full on me1 seem$ to reflect ! tranquillity ( my s\l1 & appe>$ to me an emblem ( ! mild light t 0 j dawn+ on my s\l4 ,i c\ld n sleep1 & actually laid awake all night out ( pure happ9ess4 ,i w n tr\ble y ) any m ( my feel+s at pres5t4 ,on ,sunday we 7 propos$1 & ! next ,sabba? w see ! completion ( all my hopes & wi%es relat+ to myself = two ye>s pa/4 ,i _c at pres5t write m1 b w f9i% ?is next week4 ,,m>y4 ,! *ur* ) :i* ,m>y connect$ h]self 0 ! ,?ird ,*ur* 9 ,h+ham1 "u ! pa/oral c>e ( ! ,rev4 ,h5ry ,coleman1 ) :om %e speaks ( delightful int]views1 receiv+ f him ! be/ in/ruction & c\nsel at t important p]iod4 ,%e %[s at ! same "t h] habit ( ?9k+ = h]self1 z well z h] lib]al & humble _s1 9 ! casual rem>k1 ,?\gh ,i c\ld n agree exactly ) him 9 e ?+ he said1 z !y 7 n ess5tial po9ts ,i ?\ght no?+ ( x1 & receiv$ 8 advice ) z mu* pleasure & satisfaction z c\ld possibly be4 ,! same mon? %e records ! completion ( h] wi%es & h] happ9ess4 ,la/ ,sunday witness$ ! accompli%m5t ( my highe/ desires2 = ,i jo9$ = ! fir/ "t ) ^? :o compose ! *ur* "h1 9 commemorat+ ! dea? ( our bless$ ,savi\r4 ,! feel+s x excit$ are n easily describ$1 & z y w s soon exp]i5ce !m1 y w ?us be able m fully to conceive ( !m ?an by any ?+ ,i c\ld say4 ,i "k y w d]ive mu*1 v mu* satisfaction & happ9ess f x2 & ,i s9c]ely pray t x may be to u bo? a means ( becom+ m l its heav5ly ,f\nd]1 & f9d+ acceptance ) ,god ?r\gh 8 int]cession4 ,i wi% y c\ld h he>d our de> ,mr4 ,c----4 ,he 0 p>ticul>ly int]e/+ & affect+2 8 pray]s1 too1 are bett] ?an any ,i ev] he>d 7always except+ ,mr4 ,*ann+72 !y brea! m ( ! true _s ( ,*ri/ian humility ?an is commonly to be f\nd 9 ^! days ( pride4 ,,m>y4 ,ab\t ?is "t we f9d m5tion ( an incid5t :i* appe>$ !n ( little importance1 b to :i* subsequ5t ev5ts1 ?\gh q remote1 h giv5 s peculi> an int]e/1 t x seems n "r to omit x4 ,m>y ,pick>d1 /ill a s*ool-girl1 saw = ! fir/ "t ! individual ) :om1 twelve ye>s aft]1 h] =tunes 7 to be connect$ = life1 b ) :om1 dur+ t int]val1 %e _h no int]c\rse4 ,,h5ry ,,w>e1 !n a !ological /ud5t at ,cambridge1 0 on a visit to ,h+ham1 8 native t[n1 & pass$ an ev5+ at ,miss ,cu%+'s4 ,m>y does n appe> to h _h any conv]sation ) him1 b simply saw & he>d him1 & wrote to h] fri5d 9 ,bo/on a frank acc\nt ( ! op9ion %e =m$ ( him4 ,h+ham1 ,april #i?1 #ahae4 ,aga91 my de> ,n----1 ,i resume ! delightful task ( writ+ to y1 :i*1 ,i assure y1 gives me a degree ( pleasure next to t ( talk+ ) y1 h[ev] y may judge f my writ+ s seldom4 ,s9ce ,saturday ,i h exp]i5c$ a pleasure ,i nev] expect$1 ! desire ( :i* ,i h (t5 express$ to y4 ,i h se51 he>d1 & consequ5tly admir$1 y\r ,exet] fri5d1 ,h4 ,w>e2#a & ?\gh 8 err& took some?+ f ! delight 8 pres5ce w\ld o!rwise h complet$1 x 0 suffici5tly great = ! safety ( s l>ge an assembly ( "y ladies4 ,he 0 z agreeable z he c\ld possibly be1 & fully satisfi$ all ! expectations y _h rais$ 9 my m9d4 ,he sp5t ,sunday ev5+ "h1 & z he is v fond ( music1 & x is usual = u to sp5d a "p ( ?is ev5+ 9 s++1 we sung psalms f dusk until eight1 :5 he 0 oblig$ to leave u4 ,he jo9$ 9 all1 & add$ v mu* to ! h>mony & melody ( our little *oir4 ,on ,monday ev5+1 too1 he 0 "h1 & mu* increas$ ! good op9ion t _h be5 =m$ ( him4 ,i ?\ght 8 face indicat$ ! greate/ purity & goodness2 ,i nev] saw a m b5ign1 delightful expression on any face be=e1 & mu* less any ?+ l x 9 a g5tleman4 ,i w n1 h[ev]1 judge any "o by _! face1 p>ticul>ly z ,i h n prov$ myself a good physiognomi/4 ,yet ,i _c help be+ 9 "s measure influ5c$ by x4 ,h[ c ,i look at su* a c\nt5ance z 81 & n be confid5t t !re is a m9d )9 correspond5t to x8 ,!re is1 ?\gh1 a want ( en]gy 9 x1 :i* ,i hope is n 9 8 "*2 b x is sometimes ! case1 t a love ( poetry1 & habit ( writ+ x1 effem9ate ! m9d ( man1 :ile !y only r5d] m attractive & int]e/+ t ( woman4 ,he came = 8 si/] ,h>riet1 :o has left u1 v mu* to my sorr[ z well z t ( all ! family4 ,%e has an uncommon m9d1 & possesses mu* orig9al g5ius3 x is v seldom y see su* pro(s ( x 9 "o s "y1 z to put x beyond d\bt1 t1 "u any circum/ances1 love ( lit]ature w\ld h be5 pr$om9ant4 ,%e is a great loss to u1 & to myself p>ticul>ly s1 z ,i c nev] hope to h x 9 my p[] to cultivate h] acqua9tance z ,i %\ld wi%4 ,b ,i mu/ be cont5t1 & if ,i c only h ! p[] ( appreciat+ z !y des]ve ^? fri5ds ,i n[ h1 ,i ?9k x w be my own fault if ,i am n happy4 ,) love to all fri5ds1 ,i mu/ conclude by assur+ y ( ! firm affection ( y\r fri5d1 ,m4 ,,pick>d4 ,footnote #a3 ,he sp5t two ye>s at ,exet]1 z tea*] 9 ! ,academy4 ,?is 0 writt5 ! same mon?1 & )9 a few days ( ! date ( t rem>kable religi\s pap]1 :i* ,h5ry ,w>e wrote = 8 own sacr$ use1--,to be op5$ & read = improvem5t1 once a mon?1#b--se5 by no o!r eye1 probably1 until ,m>y h]self op5$ x1 z 8 wid[6 ,f ?is "t !y did n meet1 z p]sonal acqua9tance1 until ! ye> ( _! m>riage4 ,footnote #b3 ,memoir ( ,h5ry ,w>e1 p4 #hc4 ,,iv4 ,,discipl9e ,,& ,,"*4 ,) all h] deep happ9ess & *e]ful aspect1 ,m>y _h _m anxieties & trials at ?is "t4 ,^! 7 caus$ by h] fa!r's loss ( prop]ty & depression ( spirits4 ,mr4 ,pick>d seems nev] to h _h a l>ge prop]ty1 b 0 connect$ ) "o ( ! be/ firms 9 ,bo/on1 & enjoy$ a good reputation z a m]*ant & a man4 ,9 :at way rev]ses came ^u him1 we are n in=m$2 b ! p]iod ( :i* we speak1 j at ! close ( ! w> ) ,great ,brita91 may be a suffici5t explanation4 ,ei!r f 8 own lett]s1 or ?r\gh o!rs1 8 daught] he>d ( 8 losses1 & _h writt5 him a lett] :i* we d n f9d1 b ( :i* ! foll[+ reply indicates ! "*4 ,bo/on1 ,april #ag1 #ahae4 ,i h j op5$ y\r lett]4 ,y are e ?+ t is amiable & good2 x is n possible to h a bett] *ild4 ,b y _c ent] into my feel+s1 because y "k n my situation4 ,i w n tr\ble y ) any m compla9ts1 if ,i c help x2 ,i w only tell y t ,i h done no?+ t %\ld make y a%am$ ( y\r fa!r4 ,if ,i h n en\gh to pay e "o _! j dues1 x is ow+ to mis=tune & ev5ts t ,i c\ld n control4 ,no "o1 h[ev]1 except ! e/ate1 is likely to suff] by me1 & y ( c\rse w be a jo9t los]2 ! :ole1 ,i hope1 w n be mu*4 ,my anxiety is1 h[ ,i %all get a liv+1--:at ,i %all subsi/ on4 ,)\t any capital1 ,i c d no bus9ess4 ,i long = ! "t to come :5 ,i %all see y "h4444 ,i am ab\t mak+ inquiry among/ my acqua9tance = employm5t4 ,if ,i succe$1 my m9d w be easi]2 if n1 :at %all ,i d8 ,i "k n4 ,i _h a long talk alone ) c\s9 ,n---- la/ ev5+4 ,%e tri$ to enc\rage me ) ! hope ( be+ able to support myself1 z we calculat$ y w\ld1 aft] "s "t1 h en\gh to support y\rself )\t m5tal or bodily ex]tion4 ,yet ,i "k1 my de> *ild1 t y w\ld ex]t bo? = me2 b h[ mu* m satisfactory w\ld x be to me to support myself :ile ,i am able4 ,x is n ! *ange ( circum/ances1 b ! dread ( want1 t depresses me4 ,i did hope1 too1 t y w\ld h be5 9 a bett] situation2 b y h a m9d & spirits1 ,i hope1 to keep y\r he>t at ease2 = y w be e/eem$ = y\r virtues4 ,y see ,i _c help writ+ :at is upp]mo/ 9 my ?\ghts4 ,y\r v affectionate fa!r1 ,m4 ,p4 ,we h n _m ( ,mr4 ,pick>d's lett]s1 b all we h1 ev5 ^? 9 :i* he writes 9 r an unreasonable mood1 z if expect+ too mu* ( ?is ende>$ & devot$ daught]1 yet conta9 incid5tal expressions :i* %[ 8 exalt$ op9ion & almo/ respectful reg>d = h]1 z well z a t5d] & grateful affection4 ,he speaks ( hav+ %[n "o ( h] lett]s to a fri5d1 :o 0 highly gratifi$ ) ! s]i\sness & piety ( y\r disposition2 b %e did n ne$ t pro( ( x2 & 9 ! tr\bles & vexations ( ?is _w1 x is a great consolation to me to h s good a *ild1 :om ,i look =w>d to z ! com=t ( my decl9+ ye>s2 y "k h[ mu* y\r lett]s please me1 & console me = y\r abs5ce4 ,?is we c und]/& :5 we read ! lett] :i* foll[s1 probably 9 reply to t :i* we h giv5 above4 ,h+ham1 ,april #bb1 #ahae4 ,i did n receive y\r lett]1 my de> fa!r1 until ,?ursday aft]noon1 & _c delay = a mom5t answ]+ x4 ,i %\ld be sorry to ?9k y consid]$ me s weak z to b5d "u a *ange ( =tune to :i* all are liable1 & :i* does n affect ! int]e/ ( my fri5ds or myself1 :ile a self-approv+ consci5ce is _! support4 ,i tru/ no?+ :i* c befall !m ) respect to ! _w w :olly ov]come _! =titude & confid5ce 9 ! protection & c>e ( a ,supreme ,be+4 ,i c1 ,i ?9k1 ent] 9 "s measure into y\r feel+s1 & believe ,i c feel z y d ) reg>d to be+ dep5d5t on o!rs4 ,i am prep>$ = almo/ any trial2 if my ability is equal to my desire ( be+ ( s]vice to y 9 mis=tune1 ,i d n fe> b t ,i %all be able to support myself1 & at lea/ n be a burd5 to y4 ,i am sorry y ?9k s mu* ( my situation4 ,i %all nev] regret ! loss ( indulg5ces :i* ,i h nev] be5 taught to consid] z ess5tial to my happ9ess1 & :i* d n 9 any great degree conduce to x4 ,i %all be cont5t 9 any circum/ances1 :ile ,i "k y h n br\ght on y\rself calamity4 ,i am n s pr\d t ,i %\ld feel ! lea/ repugnance to ga9+ a liv+ 9 any useful employm5t :atev]2 ,i feel t k9d ( pride :i* assures me t local situation w n di/urb my peace )91 & ) t ,i c\ld combat almo/ any ?+4 ,i c only regret ! loss ( prop]ty1 :5 x makes me an encumbrance to my fri5ds1 & limits my p[] ( communicat+ good4 ,z to ! =m]1 ,i ?9k1 :ile ,i c possibly d x1 ,i _h bett] rema9 "h1 r ?an burd5 any ( my fri5ds ) my company1 & ,i w retr5* o!r exp5ses = ! sake ( be+ indep5d5t2 = ,i d n ?9k t any s]vice ,i c\ld d w\ld comp5sate = ! tr\ble ,i %\ld give2 & ) reg>d to ! latt]1 ! w w be pres5t ) me1 & ?\gh ! money means 7 d5i$ me1 ,i d n despair ( do+ good 9 "s way or o!r4 ,i %all d v well2 my only anxiety is = y1 le/ y give up hope ( bett] times1 & ?us put a /op to ! ma9spr+ ( human action4 ,i _c b regret t :at belongs to ! e/ate %\ld be lo/1 = ! obligations we are "u already to ! family are m ?an c ev] be repaid1 & obligations are to "s p oppressive4 ,i %all see y soon1 & w !n make "s arrangem5ts4 ,till !n1 ,i "k n :at to propose4 ,i hope to he> f y soon4 ,& d write 9 bett] spirits2 x w d no good to be disc\rag$4 ,) love to all1 ,i rema9 y\r affectionate daught]1 ,,m>y4 ,^? only :o h exp]i5c$ rev]ses1 or h se5 p>5ts suff] f !m undes]v$ly1 "k h[ h>d x is to su/a91 b5ea? _! pressure1 a *e]ful & buoyant _s4 ,we c moralize ^u ! comp>ative wor?lessness ( ?is _w's goods1 & call pov]ty & pa9 light evils4 ,x is a false view4 ,pov]ty & pa9 are positive & great evils4 ,s9 only is great]1 & s91 x may be1 is z (t5 eng5d]$ by ^! z by ! opposite /ate ( heal? & afflu5ce4 ,9 sett+ =? ! dang]s ( prosp]ity1 we are n to =get ! temptations & conflicts ( adv]sity4 ,honor to ! man or woman1 :o ma9ta9s integrity & s]5ity 9 ! h\r ( mis=tune6 ,we mean n to intimate t ! pecuni>y p]plexities ( ,mr4 ,pick>d & 8 daught] 7 extreme4 ,b we believe !m to h be5 en\gh to te/ ! p[] ( "*1 & to ?r[ a delicate & difficult duty ^u a daught]1 s "y1 & s connect$ ) fri5ds :o 7 able & will+ to help1 b on :om %e 0 n will+ to lean4 ,%e pref]r$ to lean ^u h]self1 ?\gh n 9 unaid$ /r5g?4 ,seldom d we f9d su* evid5ce ( e>ly & entire reliance on a high] ,p[]4 ,%e _h made h] election4 ,) ! delib]ation & firmness ( mature conviction1 %e _h giv5 h]self to ,god1 & 0 at peace4 ,h[ complete1 ?\gh quiet1 0 t surr5d]1 & h[ full & p]man5t ! peace1 e subsequ5t ye> ( h] life bore witness4 ,& !re 7 ^? :o saw ?is 9 ! beg9n+1 & pr$ict$ its future p[]4 ,we are /ruck ) ! confid5ce express$ by judici\s fri5ds 9 ,m>y's piety1--a ^w ( deep] & l>g] import ?an belongs to _m beg9n]s 9 ! s*ool ( religion & life4 ,x is an incomp>able bless+1 :5 a fai?ful & exp]i5c$ tea*] c write to a pupil ?us3-- ,c\ld ,i 9 any way s]ve y1 h[ gladly w\ld ,i d x6 ,b :5 ,i take my p5 to write y1 & my he>t w\ld dictate some?+1 :i*1 to mo/ ( y\r age 7p>ticul>ly :5 s e>ly depriv$ ( a "m's c>e71 might be useful1 ,i am det]r$ by ! ?\ght ( y\r maturity ( m9d1 y\r well-regulat$ affections1 & correct & dignifi$ deportm5t4 ,?is is n flatt]y2 y "k me too well1 ,i hope1 to believe me capable ( t1 :]e my he>t is int]e/$4 ,x is an op9ion f\nd$ on a long1 & = "s "t close obs]vation4 ,may y feel 9 y\r own bosom ! rew>d y s ri*ly des]ve1 & be s5sible ( ^? joys ) :i* 'a /rang] int]m$dle? n4' ,s e>ly discipl9$ 9 ! s*ool ( affliction1 y\r he>t has felt ! ne$ ( consolation :i* ! _w has n to be/[2 & at a p]iod ( life :5 ! follies & vanities ( ! _w mo/ commonly engross u1 y h be5 l$ to an att5tion to ^? ?+s :i* are unse5 & et]nal4 ,god grant t y may be induc$ to p]sev]e 9 ! pa? ( piety1 to rea* =w>d cont9ually to high] atta9m5ts1 nor ev] re/ satisfi$ till y h atta9$ ! glori\s prize :i* is res]v$ = ! foll[]s ( ! bless$ ,jesus4444 ,i %\ld n1 to _m ( y\r age1 write s mu* on s s]i\s a subject2 b ,i believe y h a feel+ p]suasion ( its reality & importance1 & !re=e w n deem me intrusive4 ,9 ! summ] ( #ahae1 ,m>y left ,h+ham1 & return$ to h] home 9 ,pe>l ,/reet1 ,bo/on1 :]e ano!r *ange _h j occurr$ 9 ! dea? ( h] gr&fa!r1 ,james ,lovell4 ,?is left h] gr&mo!r v lonely1 & = ! rema9+ two ye>s ( h] life ,m>y devot$ h]self to h] c>e1 & m9i/]$ to h] wants1 ) ! same assiduity & affection t m>k$ h] devotion 9 h] "m's sickness4 ,n t %e 0 :olly conf9$ to ! sick-room1 or ! h\se4 ,mrs4 ,lovell's heal? v>i$1 & all[$ occasional visits to fri5ds 9 & ne> ,bo/on1 = sev]al weeks toge!r4 ,"o ( ^! visits took ,m>y z f> z ,nor?ampton2 & 9 a pleasant lett] to h] fa!r %e gives a full acc\nt ( h] j\rney ?i!r1 a v diff]5t matt] !n f :at x n[ is4 ,go+ f ! pres5ce ( sickness & sorr[ into t beautiful region1 h] he>t exp&$ ) joy & gratitude1--gratitude to ,god1 & to ^? g5]\s fri5ds ^: gue/ %e 01 & ^: hospitality %e describes 9 a way t w\ld leave no d\bt to :at family %e ref]s1 ev5 if !re 7 n a direct m5tion ( "o :om s _m love to recall4 ,mr4 ,lyman is1 )\t exception1 ! mo/ agreeable man ,i ev] met )2 & if ,i c\ld only ov]come feel+s ( re/ra9t :i* 8 inf9ite sup]iority makes me h be=e him1 ,i might be able to enjoy 8 conv]sation m4 ,i may ov]come x1 b z yet ,i _c1 & !re=e fe> ,i appe> /upid4 ,?is diffid5ce %e nev] did :olly ov]come1 & we c conceive ( its hav+ be5 v great1 at t age4 ,yet x seems nev] to h prev5t$ h] f go+ =w>d to ! p]=mance ( any duty1 or appe>+ ) propriety & dignity 9 any position4 ,%e _h a ke5 reli% = all ! beauties ( nature1 & no less = ! ref9em5ts & pleasures ( society4 ,b h] highe/ enjoym5t1 ev5 at t age1 0 evid5tly s\ght & f\nd 9 ! company ( ! dev\t1 & ! joys ( religion4 ,h] fa!r g5tly reproves h]1 9 "o ( 8 lett]s1 = indulg+ too mu* 9 sombre ?\ghts1 & talk+ ( trials pres5t+ !mselves ev]y:]e4 ,b x is evid5t t x 0 to 8 own trials t %e ref]r$1 & 8 depression may h ext5d$ sometimes1 ?\gh v seldom1 to h]4 ,he himself says ( ?is /ate ( feel+1 ,i 0 n )\t fe> t ,i _h imp>t$ x to y1 :i* w\ld grieve me mu*4 ,dur+ ! long p]iod ( h] gr&mo!r's sickness1 ,m>y =m$ a new atta*m5t1 op5+ to h] a f\nta9 ( ! pure/ enjoym5t4 ,%e 0 a con/ant att5dant on ! prea*+ ( ,dr4 ,*ann+4 ,:5 a *ild1 %e lov$ to g to 8 *ur* ) t relative & devot$ fri5d ( ! family1 :o1 ?\gh ( ! same age z h] "m1 /ill lives to m\rn ! loss ( all ( !m4 ,l$ by t h&1 :i* 0 to h] z ! h& ( a "m to ! v end ( life1 7may we n s f> dep>t f our rule1 9 reg>d to ! liv+1 z to give ! v5]able "n ( ,ann ,b5t87 ,m>y li/5$ v e>ly & int5tly to ! man :o has mov$ multitudes ( e age4 ,z %e grew up1 h] evid5t & /rong pref]5ce = 8 prea*+ ov] all o!r is said to h be5 ! subject ( a little affectionate bant]+ on h] "m's "p1 :ile to h] m rigid fa!r x 0 s little agreeable z to cause at times "s trial ( feel+ & a conflict ( duty4 ,b :]e duty p]ta9$ to ,god & ! :ole exi/5ce1 %e nev] d\bt$ long4 ,h] decision 0 tak5 delib]ately1 ) respect & g5tl5ess1 b ) a =ce & fai? t nev] wav]$1 & nev] fail$ to supply /r5g? & consolation 9 h] v>i$ trials4 ,inde$1 x 0 amid trials1 z we h se51 t %e fir/ consecrat$ h]self to ,*ri/1 soon aft] h] "m's dea?4 ,& n[ t %e 0 daily wat*+ ! decl9e ( ano!r life v de> to h]1 at ! b$side ( h] ag$ gr&mo!r1 h] lett]s are *iefly fill$ ) acc\nts ( h] vivid int]e/ 9 ! prea*+ %e he>s1 & ! effect x has ^u h] "*4 ,two ( ^! lett]s we give toge!r1 z relat+ to ! same subject1 ?\gh writt5 sev]al mon?s ap>t4 ,bo/on1 ,sunday ,ev5+1 ,sept #ae1 #ahaf4 ,h[ frequ5tly h ,i he>d x said1 t we nev] feel ! true happ9ess ( hav+ a fri5d m ?an :51 ov]:elm$ ) feel+s x _c control1 ! he>t seeks relief 9 ! sympa?iz+ bosom ( t ,be+ :o alone c compreh5d !m2 & nev]1 my de> ,n----1 did ,i feel ?is tru? m ?an at ! pres5t mom5t1 nev] did ,i feel m eag] to op5 to y\r view my :ole he>t1 to %[ y ! emotions excit$ 9 x1 = ,i feel s5sible t ,i _c describe !m4 ,x w n surprise y t ,mr4 ,*ann+'s s]mons are ! cause2 b no acc\nt t ,i c give c\ld convey any idea ( !m4 ,y h he>d "s ( ! same class2 !y s entirely absorb ! feel+s z to r5d] ! m9d incapable ( action1 & consequ5tly leave on ! memory at times no di/9ct impression4 ,t 9 ! morn+ f ?is text1 ',he t =sake? n all t he ha?1 _c be my disciple1' 0 calculat$ m ?an any ?+ ,i _h !n he>d1 to exalt ! ,*ri/ian "*2 b t ?is aft]noon 0 z if an angel spoke1--',come unto me1 all ye t labor & are heavy lad51 & ,i w give y re/4 ,le>n ( me1 = ,i am meek & l[ly ( he>t1 & ye %all f9d re/ to y\r s\ls4' ,happ9ess1 or1 z x is "h express$1 're/ to ! s\l1' does n1 x is evid5t1 dep5d on our situation1 z may be prov$ by a slight view ( ! condition ( mank9d 9 g5]al4 ,we see !m con/antly aspir+ to some?+ beyond :at !y possess1 b :i*1 :5 atta9$1 adds n to _! peace1 b r increases _! discont5t4444 ,i d\bt :e!r ,i h succe$$ 9 giv+ y any idea ( :at ,mr4 ,*ann+'s s]mon really conta9$1 z ,i _c rememb] any ?+ ( x b ! impression x made on my feel+s1 & ,i h1 ,i f9d1 giv5 y r a transcript ( !m ?an any ( 8 orig9al ideas1 z y w readily p]ceive4 ,! object ( x1 h[ev]1 0 to prove t ! only real happ9ess to be enjoy$ 9 ! _w 0 to be f\nd 9 t peace ( m9d :i* a true & lively fai? 9 ! wisdom & m]cy ( ,god necess>ily inspires 9 ! ,*ri/ian1 & )\t :i* all ! pleasures ?is _w c give w fail to convey to ! he>t ev5 "o transi5t gleam ( real enjoym5t4 ,c\ld y only h be5 "h1 y w\ld1 ,i "k1 h be5 mu* b5efit$ by x2 b y c\ld n feel x z ,i did1 = y d n s mu* require x4 ,my reason & consci5ce h always told me t x 0 n "r to let any ( ! trials ,i h met1 & /ill meet )1 de/roy = a mom5t my peace2 & ?\gh !y h sometimes conqu]$ my weak] feel+s1 yet !re are times :5 ,i f9d my own /r5g? s insuffici5t t ,i am almo/ tempt$ to d\bt :e!r x be 9 my p[] to atta94 ,?is morn+1 ,i felt m ?an ev] my weakness1 f hav+ _h a long & unsuccessful /ruggle ! :ole ( ye/]day ) myself4 ,t ! preci\s privileges ?is day has af=d$ me are n lo/ ^u me1 ,i hope to prove 9 ! day ( future trial4 ,=give my egotism1 b ,i "k to :om ,i write4 ,,m>y4 99 99 99 99 99 ,y said to me1 z we 7 return+ f meet+ to-day1 9 answ] to my obs]vation t ',i _h be5 dep5d+ on ?is day dur+ ! :ole week1 & _h unexpect$ly realiz$ all ! feel+s ,i anticipat$1' t y1 too1 _h expect$ mu*1 ?9k+ t ,mr4 ,*ann+ w\ld give u ! s]mon he did4 ,i h (t5 ?\ght t ! v great pleasure we take 9 he>+ him prea* has giv5 u o!r feel+s & motives 9 our att5dance on *ur* ?an ought to be all[$ by ! dev\t ,*ri/ian4 ,! good :i* is to be obta9$ f "o ( 8 s]mons p>ticul>ly is inde$ a great object1 & suffici5t to induce u to att5d ! he>+ ( !m :5ev] !re is an opportunity2 b 9 our eag]ness to he> ! s]mon1 to admire x1 & endeavor to improve by x1 ! orig9al int5tion ( public wor%ip1 ,i fe>1 is 9 a mann] lo/ on u4 ,d we1 :5 we g to ! h\se ( ,god1 feel t we are z x 7 ent]+ 8 m imm$iate pres5ce8 ,he is1 x is true1 pres5t ) u 9 all places1 & at all times2 b 9 ! _w x is n requir$1 nei!r is x practicable1 t our :ole ?\ghts %\ld be devot$ to any "o subject2 b :5 we g to ! h\se ( wor%ip1 is x n t we may1 by %utt+ out ( our m9ds ! _w & all t x conta9s1 give to ! ,"l ( ! ,sabba? e ?\ght8 ,0 x n = ?is end he gave u ! day1 & r5ews our /r5g? e week8 ,we are call$ toge!r to wor%ip1 n m]ely ) our lips1 b to unite e ?\ght & feel+ 9 adoration4 ,x is a privilege ?us to be enabl$ to call our m9ds entirely f ! c>es & tr\bles ( life2 x gives to ^? :o are oppress$ by !m "s idea ( heav51 :5 all ! trials :i* n[ torture !m w be = ev] =gott52 & to all x %\ld be e/eem$ a high & holy privilege1 sett+ aside ! delightful in/ruction we receive1 ?us to hold communion ) ,heav51 = ,i c comp>e x to no?+ else4 ,x seems (t5 to me1 :ile 9 ! h\r ( pray] ,i give myself up to ! ?\ght ( heav51 z ?\gh ,i _h 9 reality left ! _w1 & 0 enjoy+ t :i* is promis$ to ! ,*ri/ian4 ,i fe>1 h[ev]1 ^! feel+s are too (t5 delusive2 we sub/itute ! love ( hol9ess = ! actual possession1 & (t5 deceive ourselves4 ,b if we c keep our reason uncl\d$1 we h no?+ to fe> f feel+ too mu*4 ,i w\ld n be und]/ood to mean1 t ! delightful1 improv+ prea*+ we are 9 ! habit ( he>+ is n a good motive = c>ry+ u to meet+2 b x is n en\gh1 if x be ! only "o2 if ! happ9ess ( an unres]v$ devotion ( ?\ght to ,god is n suffici5tly great to induce u to seek e opportunity ( enjoy+ x1 ,i fe> ! true1 vital piety1 :i* is ! only support ( religion1 is imp]fectly ga9$ by u4 ,i h n "t to write m4 ,i d\bt if ,i h expla9$ myself intelligibly1 b m ( ?is at "s future p]iod4 ,i presume !re is an appe>ance ( vanity 9 "o p>agraph1 :i* ,i w "s "t expla94 ,,m>y4 ,?is f]vid religi\s int]e/ & enjoym5t seems to h fill$ h] he>t1 & absorb$ h] ?\ghts1 m & m1 until1 9 ! foll[+ summ]1 x l$ to a p]sonal int]view ) ,dr4 ,*ann+1 ( ! mo/ int]e/+ k9d1 to be describ$ only 9 h] own words4 ,bo/on1 ,july #aj1 #ahag4 ,!re is a c]ta9 /ate ( feel+1 or ,i may n[ say passion1 9 :i* ! he>t mu/ ei!r f9d relief 9 utt]ance1 or bur/2 :5 all ! p[]s ( m9d & body are susp5d$1 & ?\ght1 feel+1 s5sation1 are all c5tr$ 9 "o sole object4 ,x is at su* mom5ts z ^! t we feel ! true value ( a fri5d :o w submit pati5tly to our detail1 & sympa?ize 9 all4 ,i h j _h a long--7,i d n "k :at to call x7--) our de> m9i/]4 ,y "k h[ long ,i h wi%$1 yet dread$ x4 ,t ,i %\ld ev] h dread$ x appe>s n[ a mo/ a/oni%+ fact1 except t ,i knew x w\ld humble me to ! du/4 ,& :y %\ld ,i n be s humbl$8 ,x *anc$ t gr&ma 0 too unwell to see him2 & ,i1 ?\gh n 9 ! mo/ compos$ /ate ( m9d t c be imag9$1 0 to sit d[n alone ) him1 fully det]m9$ to improve ! opportunity & say all t ,i _h s long wi%$4 ,i put on z collect$ an appe>ance z c\ld possibly be requir$1 &1 trembl+ at ! v c5tre ( my he>t1 met him ) a smile ( joy4 ,indiff]5t subjects soon entirely subdu$ all k9d ( int]nal emb>rassm5t1 7ext]nal1 ,i did n p]mit17 :51 to my great annoyance1 ,c---- walk$ 96 ,o t ,i c\ld h r5d]$ him invisible1--deaf1 dumb1--any ?+1 = ! "t be+6 ,b pati5ce triumph$2 ,i contriv$ at la/ to let him und]/& t ,i wi%$ him f> away4 ,he took ! h9t1 b :5 he rose to g1 ,mr4 ,*ann+ did s also6 ,i c\ld n b deta9 him4 ,h[ ,i did x1 or :at foll[$ on my "p1 ,i "k n2 ,i he>d all he said1 ,i laid e ^w c>efully aside 9 my m9d to be enjoy$ at "s future p]iod1 b h[ fooli%1 h[ weak1 h[ e ?+ irrational ,i 01 ,i _c1 d>e n1 ?9k4 ,i told him z well z ,i c\ld1 ) :at views & feel+s ,i presum$ to deviate f ! pa? 9 :i* ,i _h be5 l$ by my p>5ts1 :at he _h done = me1 & :at ,i hop$ to d = myself4 ,i c\ld n h be5 intelligible1 b ,i w n regret t ,i attempt$1 ?\gh ,i c\ld n succe$4 ,i am reliev$ by :at he said ( _m unpleasant1 oppressive feel+s4 ,i felt t ,i 0 deta9+ him1 or ,i might h be5 r m collect$4 ,:at a /ate has he left me 96 ,o1 c\ld ,i = ev] pres]ve ! remembrance ( :at n[ fills my he>t1 c\ld ,i ev] feel z ,i n[ d1 t ,i am "o ( ! lea/ ( all be+s1 capable ( be+ bett] b %amefully neglect+ my be/ int]e/s1 awfully responsible = ! ine/imable privileges ,i enjoy1 b :olly unm9dful ( !m4 ,de>e/ ,n----1 ,i am wrong to impose on y\r pati5ce1 b ,i am too selfi% to resi/4 ,=give ?is s5t5ce4 ,i d n d\bt y\r int]e/1 b ,i may talk too long4 ,?is is n ! f]vor ( sudd5 en?usiasm2 no1 ,i h long felt my s9fulness1 b ! excitem5t ( talk+ to ,mr4 ,*ann+ has made me n[ utt] x4 ,give me y\r pray]s1 give me y\r advice1 assi/ me 9 elevat+ my he>t to high] objects1 pur] joys1 ?an ?is _w c give4 ,i love x too well2 ,i want ! sev]+ h& ( trial to r5d asund] ! ?\s& evil passions :i* connect me ) x4 ,i h scribbl$ ?is at y\r desk2 ?is quiet retreat has calm$ me4 ,x is1 p]haps1 =tunate t y 7 n at home1 except t y w\ld h be5 sav$ ?is f9e specim5 ( :at an egoti/ c write4 ,o de>1 h[ weak ,i am6 excitem5t is s new to me1 t x almo/ deprives me ( ! use ( my und]/&+1 or ,i %\ld n ?us betray myself4 ,i "k n :at ,i am com+ to2 ,i 0 v fooli% ye/]day2 ,i h be5 worse to-day4 ,d come & see me to-morr[ & l5d me a little s5se1 or if y _c sp>e x1 ex]cise x y\rself ov] ! m9d ( y\r s5seless fri5d1 ,,m>y4 ,dur+ ?is season ( peculi> exp]i5ce1 ,m>y s\ght ! confid5ce1 & enjoy$ ! sympa?y1 n only ( ! "o fri5d to :om ! la/ lett]s 7 writt51 b also ( h] late in/ructors 9 ,h+ham4 ,! correspond5ce betwe5 !m is ( ! mo/ confid+ "*1 & %[s a mutual respect & s5se ( obligation 9 pupil & tea*]4 ,talk n ( gratitude1 my de> ,m>y1 ! latt] writes2 has n e k9dness we h ev] _h x 9 our p[] to %[ y be5 m ?an cancell$ by y\r unremitt+ assiduities to s]ve & please u8 ,! uni=m disposition y h ev] %[n to promote ! ease & happ9ess ( all ar\nd y1 w long rema9 a sweet remembrance ( "o ^: image is connect$ 9 my m9d ) e s(t] virtue1 accompani$ by t /r5g? ( m9d :i* w\ld enable y1 if call$ ^u1 to su/a9 uncommon trials4 ,no1 ,i %all n1 ,i _c1 be disappo9t$ 9 y1 my de> "y fri5d2 y w be all t y\r op5+ "* n[ promises1 because y h built on a sure f\ndation4 ,if my life is sp>$1 ,i anticipate mu* pleasure f ! cont9uation ( a fri5d%ip ?us comm5c$4 ,may x be increas$ & /r5g!n$ :ile we soj\rn toge!r on e>?1 & may we h ! happ9ess ( excit+ ea* o!r to a high] /&>d ( excell5ce ?an is g5]ally adopt$ by ! _w1 & ?us be prep>$ = ! society ( ^? pure & holy be+s we hope h]eaft] to jo94 ,^! expressions ( confid5ce & enc\ragem5t 7 probably induc$ by ! try+ circum/ances 9 :i* ,m>y 0 !n plac$1 p>tly f h] fa!r's mis=tunes & feeble heal?1 & p>tly f ! weight ( h] responsibilities 9 a h\sehold :]e !re 0 n only sickness1 b o!r & sor] trials4 ,%e w5t v little into society1 & 0 ?r[n entirely ^u h] own res\rces1 9 ! mid/ ( ardu\s & delicate duties4 ,"s ( h] /ruggles1 & ! s\rces ( h] peace1 are intimat$ 9 ! foll[+ lett]s to ,miss ,cu%+4 ,bo/on1 ,june #ai1 #ahag4 ,z ,i c nei!r see y nor he> f y1 my de> ,miss ,cu%+1 ,i mu/ write y1 if x be only to say h[ mu* ,i ?9k ( & desire to see y4 ,i "k too well t ,i d n des]ve any indulg5ce f y1 b !re is some?+ s solit>y1 & at times almo/ ov]p[]+1 9 ! idea t ^? :om we h be/ lov$1 ) :om we h pass$ happy h\rs ( int]c\rse & sympa?y1 are1 ?\gh /ill de>1 divid$ f u1 n p]haps by di/ance1 b by circum/ances :i* we _c control1 t ,i am almo/ tempt$ to rep9e t su* mu/ be our situation4 ,y w1 ,i "k1 be ready to ask :y ,i h s neglect$ ! only means 9 my p[] ( cont9u+ t int]c\rse8 ,i w\ld n compla9 ( x1 b ,i h little "t1 & s _m occupations :i* ! call ( duty bids me n neglect1 t ,i seldom write to any "o1 & always 9 s mu* ha/e t ,i %\ld be a%am$ to s5d su* epi/les to y4 ,beside all ?is1 ,i h s little int]c\rse ) ! _w1 or ^? 9 x 9 :om ,i ?9k y w\ld be int]e/$1 t ,i mu/1 f a de>? ( ideas 9 ?is poor bra91 write almo/ :olly ( self1 ! mo/ odi\s & we>isome ( all topics4 ,b ?is v isolation makes me dep5d s mu* on e little iota ( ext]nal excitem5t1 t ,i %\ld be satisfi$1 or r cont5t1 ) any ?+ 9 ! =m ( a lett] y w\ld f9d "t to give me4444 ,i h felt1 & ,i believe h express$ to y1 or ,miss ,p----1 a k9d ( discont5t sometimes op]at+ on my m9d at ! want ( opportunity to become :at ,i h va9ly ?\ght ,i might be4 ,b ?is is all ov]1 & ,i am satisfi$ t ,i mu/ be cont5t ) a v l[ degree 9 ! scale ( k4 ,b ,i tru/ ,i may be good1 ?\gh nev] great1 & am confid5t t ! peculi> situation 9 :i* ,i am plac$ is "o m calculat$ = me ?an any ,i c\ld *oose = myself4 ,trial is necess>y to me1 & ,i am happy 9 x1 except :5 ,i am consci\s x is n improv$ z x %\ld be4 ,x is n = u1 :o h s _m bless+s1 to murmur if our fai? is sometimes put to ! te/2 did we view ?+s aright1 :at n[ seems judgm5t is 9 tru? m]cy4 ,:at %\ld we be1 7 we n sometimes rem9d$ ( our s9s & ! weakness ( our m9ds8 ,surely1 !n1 :atev] may be ! trials :i* br+ u to a true s5se ( our acc\ntability to our ,fa!r 9 heav51 !y are ! k9de/ expressions ( 8 goodness4 ,i nev] c\ld h any gloomy views ( religion1 & ! m exp]i5ce ,i h ( its *e]+ influ5ces 9 ! he>ts ( its vot>ies1 ! m ,i am conv9c$ t x is ! only sure guide to happ9ess ev5 9 ?is _w2 h[ mu* m 9 ano!r6 ,y w =give me = writ+ y j :at happ5$ to occupy my m9d4 ,x is an indulg5ce t ,i _c resi/1 to be able to communicate a few ( my feel+s & ?\ghts4 ,i fe> y w ?9k ,i impose too mu* on y\r goodness4 ,,m>y4 99 99 99 99 99 ,bo/on1 ,augu/ #bj1 #ahag4 ,,my ,,de> ,,miss ,,cu%+3-- ,!re are1 ,i believe1 mom5ts 9 ! lives ( all human be+s1 :51 f "s cause or o!r1 ! he>t is sadd5$ by a feel+ ( peculi> lonel9ess1 :i*1 ?\gh p]haps r a disease ( ! imag9ation ?an ! effect ( real circum/ances1 is nev]!less irresi/ible4 ,i h felt ?is 9 ! gaye/ p]iod ( my life1 & x is n /range t ,i %\ld n[ (t5 exp]i5ce x4 ,lead+ a p]fectly monoton\s exi/5ce1 my res\rces ( animal spirits are n entirely suffici5t to supply ! call ( duty & ! h\r ( solitude too4 ,& :5 ev5+ closes1 & my belov$ *>ge is laid peacefully to re/1 excitem5t ceases1 & ,i am ?r[n on myself = pleasure4 ,!n x is t ,i long to be ) fri5ds1 :om ,i c only visit 9 imag9ation2 !n ,i long to annihilate di/ance1 & talk ) y4 ,x is1 ,i "k1 impos+ on y\r goodness to attempt to write y "u ! influ5ce ( su* feel+s1 b x is an indulg5ce ,i c h>dly resi/1 conv9c$ z ,i am t1 :5 y are assur$ x is a relief to a poor solit>y1 y\r b5evol5t he>t w p>don me4 ,i w\ld n convey t ,i am unhappy 9 ?is situation4 ,o1 no6--!re is su* a ?+ z be+ 'pleas$1 & yet sad'2 & ?\gh sometimes ',! he>t w feel1 ! te> w /eal1 ,= auld lang syne sae de>1' yet ,i rejoice ) joy unspeakable t ! pres5t is /ill fill$ ) _m privileges & pleasures1 & t ,i c ) p]fect tru/ ref] ! future to ,him :o appo9te? all ?+s 9 m]cy4 ,i wi% mo/ s9c]ely ,i c\ld communicate some?+ int]e/+ to y1 to r$eem my mis]able lett]s f ! *>ge ( p]fect egotism1 b ,i live s :olly out ( ! sph]e ( ! int]e/+ "p ( ! _w1 t ,i am z ignorant ( all t passes )9 x z ^? :o "k n t x exi/s4 ,x is ?is reason :i* has (t5 )held me f writ+ y :5 inde$ ,i wi%$ = my own sake to indulge 9 x1 & ,i ?9k y w be fully conv9c$ ( ! wisdom ( my =be>ance aft] ! p]usal ( ?is4 ,m4,l4,p4 ,& n[ ano!r trial imp5d$1 to be foll[$ by o!r & important *anges 9 h] condition ( life4 ,9 ! autumn ( ?is ye> h] gr&mo!r di$4 ,= ! ev5t itself1 s long expect$ & n to be lam5t$1 %e 0 prep>$4 ,b "s ( its circum/ances 7 unusually try+1 & %e well knew t its consequ5ces might be /ill m sad4 ,yet h[ little ^! consid]ations affect$ h]1 9 comp>ison ) ! moral aspects & spiritual lessons ( ! *ange1 may be se5 9 h] own acc\nt ( ! la/ sickness1 to ,n4 ,c4 ,s4 ,bo/on1 ,sunday ,night1 ,octob] #ab1 #ahag4 ,y h s long indulg$ my selfi% prop5sity ( communicat+ to y e feel+ t *ances to be excit$ 9 my he>t1 t ,i f9d x difficult1 :5 "u ! influ5ce ( any peculi> emotion1 to resi/ ! ev]-pres5t desire to imp>t all to y4 ,b ?is w\ld be ! height ( folly & weakness1 & ,i !re=e cont5d aga9/ x ) all my p[]s4 ,!re are1 h[ev]1 c]ta9 k9ds ( feel+ ( su* a d\btful nature1 t ! ag5cy ( "s ext]nal p[] is absolutely necess>y = ! prop] managem5t ( !m4 ,( ?is nature1 ,i am p]suad$1 are ^? by :i* ,i am n[ ov]p[]$2 & le/ ,i %\ld be too mu* l$ away by !m1 ,i mu/ beg y\r assi/ance 9 asc]ta9+ _! orig9 & t5d5cy4 ,?is may seem too sy/ematic = any "o :o feels mu*1 b ! viol5ce ( ! tempe/ has pass$1 & t deadly calm :i* always succe$s ! rag+ ( ! elem5ts naturally incl9es ! m9d to ?\ght & reflection4 ,i h liv$ = ! la/ few mon?s 9 ! h\rly contemplation ( a mo/ /rik+ picture ( ! end ( human life1 ! t]m9ation ( all its joys & sorr[s1 ! annihilation ( its hopes & wi%es4 ,?is c\ld n fail to impress ) sadness a m9d 9 full possession ( its p[]s ( enjoym5t1 & = a "t to give x almo/ a disgu/ ( all ^? pleasures & pursuits :i* mu/ s soon fail be=e ! dim eye & feeble en]gies ( approa*+ age4 ,x _h1 9 a great degree1 ?is effect on me2 = ! mom5ts h be5 :5 ,i w\ld will+ly h surr5d]$ life r ?an live 9 ! expectation ( su* an end1--to outlive ! ability to engage 9 its duties4 ,i n[ tremble at ! ?\ght ( ev] hav+ suff]$ su* feel+s = a mom5t1 to possess my m9d4 ,cont9u$ & deep reflection on ! object ( all ?is1 ! comp>ative no?+ness ( e ?+ 9 ?is _w1 ! hopes & prospects ( ano!r & bett]1 m$itation on ! spiritual life1 & occasional exp]i5ce ( ! real happ9ess ( t elevation ( s\l above e>?ly ?+s :i* religion alone c imp>t1 h ov]come ?is melan*oly1 & sometimes produc$ almo/ a feel+ ( triumph4 ,i h ?is ev5+ be5 almo/ ov]:elm$ ) a v>iety ( emotions1 ( :i* ?is 0 ! mo/ prom95t4 ,gr&ma has ?\ght h]self dy+1 & has be5 conv]s+ ) me on h] approa*+ *ange ) t mo/ heav5ly calmness :i* ^? only :o rely on ! m]cy ( ,god1 ?r\gh ! m]its ( 8 ,son1 c exp]i5ce at ?is try+ h\r4 ,?is1 toge!r ) jo9+ 9 pray] ) h] t we might all welcome ?is h\r z %e did1 & h] f9al p>t+ ) all 9 ! h\se1 has elevat$ my m9d s mu* above ?is transitory sc5e1 t ,i c sc>cely believe ,i %all ev] be s weak z aga9 to be engross$ by x4 ,i _c describe ! /ate ( my m9d4 ,i nev] felt s be=e1 ?\gh ,i h (t5 imag9$ t o!rs h4 ,x is almo/ a k9d ( transport at ! ?\ght t ?is mortal %all put on immortality1 t !re is )9 u an e!real sp>k :i* c nev] be ext+ui%$ or gr[ dim1 capable ( ris+ sup]ior to ! pa9s & weakness :i* b5d ^! frail bodies to ! gr\nd4 ,o1 x is a joy unspeakable6 ,view$ ?r\gh ?is m$ium1 dea? loses its /+1 & ! idea ( a glori\s immortality alone pres5ts itself ) ! view ( its approa*4 ,b alas6 ,i c place no dep5d5ce on ! cont9uance ( my feel+s beyond ! mom5t t excites !m4 ,my life is a m]e vision2 ! _w 9 :i* ,i act has no connection ) t 9 :i* ,i ?9k4 ,my pleasure1 my happ9ess1 is s f> indep5d5t ( ! objects ar\nd me1 t ,i c h>dly associate !m toge!r4 ,hav+ little else to d ?an m$itate1 ,i exi/ almo/ 9 imag9ation1 & communicate s little ) o!rs on ! subject ( my ?\ghts1 t x seems l liv+ two be+s2 ! great] "p ( my "t is pass$ 9 ?is ideal _w1 & ,i am consequ5tly unfitt$ to mix 9 ! real "o 9 :i* ,i am plac$4 ,?is is a mis=tune & a fault4 ,:i* has ! greate/ %>e ( blame8 ,x is mo/ unfavorable to true ,*ri/ian humility2 =1 z ,mr4 ,*ann+ says ( ! effects ( a diseas$ imag9ation1 ',we feel sup]iority to ! _w 9 asc5d+ ! airy height1 & pride ourselves 9 ?is ref9em5t ( ! m9d4 ,aft] array+ ourselves 9 ! robes ( glory1 we _c take ! l[ly seat :i* ,*ri/ianity assigns u4' ,?us1 !n1 al?\gh ?is elevation above ! objects ( ?is va9 _w may be a "r _s :5 x rises f ! pure fl[ ( real piety1 if x be only ! en?usiasm ( ! mom5t1 :i* rises = a "t & !n vani%es away1 an ab/ract !ory :i* w\ld n be practis$ ^u 9 ! h\r ( temptation1 x _h bett] nev] h be54 ,:5 we h once be5 impos$ on1 we "k n :at to tru/4 ,all my purposes ( goodness & high resolves are z yet b !ories1 :i* ,i fe> ,i %\ld nev] put 9 practice %\ld temptation assail me4 ,o1 ,i d>e n be ?us happy6 ,,m>y4 ,v4 ,,*anges ,,at ,,home4 ,! fir/ *ange consequ5t ^u ! dea? ( old ,mrs4 ,lovell1 0 ! leav+ ( ! h\se 9 ,pe>l ,/reet4 ,?is1 to ,m>y1 0 n a small matt]4 ,x 0 n ! m]e mov+ ( furniture1 nor ! liv+ 9 "o /reet r ?an ano!r1 ( ! same t[n4 ,x 0 ! loss ( ! e>lie/ & only ,,home t %e _h ev] kn[n2 & none are to be envi$ :o _c ent] into ! feel+s :i* su* an ev5t mu/ awak5 9 a he>t l h]s4 ,) little ( ! romantic 9 h] nature1 & z great indep5d5ce ( ! m]ely local & ext]nal z is (t5 se51 h] love ( family & e>ly fri5ds1 h] memory ( *ildhood & all its associations1 ! v *anges & suff]+s :i* _h made s l>ge a "p ( h] life1 7 all id5tifi$ ) t h\se z ! place ( _! bir?1 & b\nd h] to x by ! /ronge/ *ords4 ,)9 a mon? ( ! day ( h] gr&mo!r's dea?1 %e wrote h] la/ lett] !re1 :i*1 ) ! fir/ t 0 writt5 out ( ! h\se1 w %[ :at %e felt1 & :y4 ,bo/on1 ,novemb]1 #ahag4 ,x is ) _m new & peculi> feel+s t ,i attempt to write y = ! la/ "t f ?is bless$ spot1 r5d]$ d\bly sacr$ to me f hav+ be5 ! sc5e ( t intimacy :i* ev] has be51 & ,i tru/ ev] w be1 "o ( ! pure/ s\rces ( happ9ess :i* x has pleas$ my ,heav5ly ,fa!r to be/[ on me4444 ,x has be5 "o ( ! happy effects ( ! trials :i*1 dur+ ! la/ few ye>s1 h fall5 to my lot1 to produce a m unres]v$ acqua9tance betwe5 u ?an "u any o!r circum/ances c\ld h be5 effect$4 ,i bless !m 9 all _! influ5ces1 b p>ticul>ly 9 ?is1 t !y h br\ght me ! k & affection ( su* a fri5d4 ,i %\ld blu% at ! recollection ( ! numb]less follies1 weaknesses1 & s9s :i* ?is frail he>t has discov]$ to y1 b ,i wi% y to "k me entirely2 ! c&id confession ( faults is ! greate/ pro( ( confid5ce ,i c\ld give4 ,b t delightful int]c\rse :i* has s mu* conduc$ to ?is mu/ = a "t be brok5 (f1 p]haps nev] aga9 to be r5ew$ 9 ?is *ang+ _w4 ,*ange ( situation w necess>ily preclude ! possibility ( t cont9u$ int]c\rse ( ?\ght & feel+1 :i* has be5 ! joy ( ! pa/4 ,i _c admit ! idea t ?is w weak5 ! bonds t unite u1 mu* less c ,i ?9k x w break !m4 ,b ,i h be5 ! creature ( situation2 my "* 7if any ?+ ,i possess c be entitl$ to ! "n7 has be5 m\ld$ by circum/ances peculi> 9 _! nature1 & :i* w soon cease to exi/4 ,:at ,i %all be 9 ! wide _w into :i* ,i am go+ to ent]1 ,i "k n4 ,i hope1 yet fe> to *ange4 ,)\t a guide to lead me 9 ! "r pa?1 ,i fe> my inexp]i5c$ /eps w /ray into "s ( ! _m fasc9at+1 delusive sn>es :i* are f\nd 9 e direction4 ,my c\rse has hi!rto be5 ov] an old & beat5 track1 secure by its remot5ess f all temptation4 ,:at1 !n1 %all ,i d1 :5 ! :ole ho/ ( ! _w's allurem5ts are pres5t$ at once to my weakness8 ,i wi% ,i c\ld describe to y ! feel+s :i* ! v prospect ( leav+ ?is h\se excites 9 ?is poor1 weak he>t1--s weak t x _c subdue or control its emotions4 ,x w\ld seem romantic & vision>y to any "o :o _h be5 accu/om$ to *ange2 b ?is h\se suppli$ 9 a great measure ! relation ( in/ructor1 p>5t1 & fri5d4 ,& x is true1 t 9 e "p are record$ by association ! admonitions ( ^? fri5ds ,i h kn[n 9 x1 or lessons :i* ! exp]i5ce ( repeat$ trials has impress$ 9 indelible *>act]s on ^! sc5es4 ,"h1 :5 temptation assail$1 & ?is frail he>t 0 on ! po9t ( surr5d]+ to x1 w\ld ! remembrance ( =m] good resolutions1 pres5t$ by ! v walls ar\nd me1 recall my w&]+ virtue1 & /r5g!n me to new ex]tions4 ,& to t sacr$ retreat1 t sanctu>y ( all my joys & sorr[s1 ,i owe1 if n ! creation1 at lea/ ! pres]vation ( ! be/ feel+s ,i possess4 ,!re ,i f9d ! hi/ory ( ! mo/ important mom5ts ( my life1 = 9 t spot did ! fir/ s9c]e & he>tfelt aspirations ( my s\l to its ,creator f9d utt]ance2 & !re1 too1 h ,i always f\nd support "u trial1 9 pray]4 ,x 7 an endless "w to rec\nt all ! associations :i* atta* me to ?is only home ,i h ev] kn[n2 x w\ld be to give y a m9ute acc\nt ( e transaction :i* has tak5 place s9ce ,i liv$ "h4 ,,m>y4 99 99 99 99 99 ,bo/on1 ,decemb]1 #ahag4 ,= ! fir/ "t s9ce ,i left t lov$ spot 9 ,pe>l ,/reet h ,i seat$ myself at my desk2 &1 al?\gh my object 9 n[ do+ s 0 a v diff]5t "o1 ,i _c resi/ ! impulse :i* ! sight ( x gives1 to r5ew ! employm5t1 s wont to be pursu$ at x1 ( p\r+ =? a few ( my feel+s to my fri5d4 ,x is s long s9ce ,i h _h an opportunity to d s1 & s v>i\s h be5 ! occurr5ces1 & /ill m v>i\s ! feel+s :i* x has be5 my lot to exp]i5ce 9 ! c\rse ( ! la/ two mon?s1 t1 ?\gh my m9d is full ( :at ,i wi% to communicate1 ,i am z mu* at a loss :at to write z if all 0 vacancy4 ,?is poor little1 unconsci\s desk has c>ri$ me back1 aga9/ my w1 to sc5es :i* x 7 wise seldom to ?9k (4 ,! la/ "t ,i wrote at x 0 ! la/ ev5+ ,i sp5t 9 ! ,i 'oak5 p>lor1' :5 all 0 sad & solit>y4 ,b ,i _c dwell on x4 ,i f9d 9 ! record ( t ev5+ prophecies :i* are h\rly fulfill+4 ,i felt deeply impress$ ) a s5se ( insuffici5cy to meet )1 & be> aright1 ! temptations :i* a life ( indulg5ce w\ld pres5t4 ,i felt t ,i 0 n fit = society1 & ,i feel s /ill1 b m s5sibly1 m truly1 = x is n[ ! lesson ( exp]i5ce1 sad inde$4 ,b a truce ) su* feel+s2--x is n ( !m ,i wi% to write4 ,?is wick$ desk has conjur$ up ! old compla9+ _s :i* s us$ to haunt me :5ev] ,i attempt$ scribbl+ to y4 ,i am happy1 cont5t$ ) any *ange t has or may take place4 ,i only ask a less selfi%1 m dis9t]e/$ frame ( m9d1--to be m indep5d5t ( ! op9ion ( o!rs1 :5 a consci\sness ( s9c]e endeavor to d "r acquits me ( actual transgression4 ,selfi% are all my regrets1 all my trials1 & :]e=e1 !n1 tr\ble ano!r ) a detail ( :at self alone c sympa?ize 91 or ameliorate1 or cure8 ,i w n2--= once1 ,i w foll[ reason r ?an incl9ation4 ,! m ,i "k ( ! _w1 ! m ,i see ( ! be+s :o con/itute :at is s call$1 ! m ! hopes & wi%es :i* excite & keep alive _! en]gies s9k into insignificance1 & ! m my own re/lessness & anxiety ab\t ! c>es & pursuits ( life excite my a/oni%m5t & contempt4 ,we surely 7 n plac$ 9 ?is _w solely to be occupi$ by its allurem5ts1 or1 )\t ref]5ce to ! design ( our ,creator 9 plac+ u "h1 to pursue t :i* seems to u ! mo/ easy & pleasant pa?4 ,& ) our reasons conv9c$1 h[ c we s unwe>i$ly pursue t phantom happ9ess :i* has "h no fix$ abode8 ,we ackn[l$ge t no?+ "h c satisfy u1 & yet va9ly delude ourselves ) ! hope ( soon atta9+ "s ideal joy :i*1 l ! philosoph]'s /one1 w conv]t all into solid happ9ess4 ,"o w\ld ?9k ,i _h be5 disappo9t$ 9 "s fond hope1 or f\nd too late my fanci$ joy a dream4 ,b no1 ,i am n disappo9t$1 = ,i h nev] anticipat$2 & if aught ,i h said savors ( ?is temp] ( m9d1 ,i w\ld recall x4 ,mr4 ,colman advis$ me nev] to write 9 ! ev5+1 le/ ,i %\ld deceive myself & my fri5d ) an exagg]at$ acc\nt ( :at 9 ! light ( day w\ld prove false4 ,i am half asleep1 & !re=e w take 8 advice1 & ,i already f9d myself on ! v]ge ( ! gulf1--self-deception4 ,m4 ,l4 ,p4 ,to "s x w seem /range1 t "o ( su* fai? & pr9ciple1 ) no pron5ess or ta/e = ! follies ( ! _w1 %\ld express fe> ( fasc9at+1 delusive sn>es1 or ?9k = a mom5t ( ! :ole ho/ ( ! _w's allurem5ts4 ,b ?is w be und]/ood by ^? :o rememb] t /r5g? does n lie 9 a s5se ( security1 nor wisdom 9 assurance4 ,x seems to h be5 ev] a "p ( ,m>y ,pick>d's wisdom1 to own h] weakness4 ,& m ?an ?is1 ! evil t %e fe>$ 0 n t co>se1 palpable ?+ usually call$ vice1 b ! invisible1 subtle evil1 s s]i\s to ! s5sitive & pure m9d1 ?\gh by ! _m lightly reg>d$4 ,i fe> n actual vice1 %e said at ?is v "t1 b to become ?\ghtless1 =getful ( duty1 unm9dful ( my highe/ int]e/s1 is to my m9d a m deadly s9 ?an _m :i* are acc\nt$ by ! _w crimes4 ,x is ?is ,i mo/ dread4 ,my consci5ce1 or1 %\ld t fail1 my fri5ds1 w\ld save me f ! fir/1 b :o c control ! ?\ghts ( my he>t8 ,?us fe>+1 ?us arm$1 %e w5t out into ! _w1 beg9n+ at ?is po9t h] life ( self-guidance4 ,( h] means ( support we "k little4 ,%e 0 n dep5d5t4 ,f h] gr&p>5ts1 to :om %e _h be5 s true a *ild1 %e receiv$ en\gh to enable h] to assi/ h] fa!r 9 8 depression1 ?\gh x is evid5t t he took no m ?an 0 absolutely necess>y1 & t %e reta9$ en\gh = h] wants1 m ?an %e us$ to ! "t ( h] m>riage4 ,?is c\ld h be5 accompli%$1 h[ev]1 only by a uni=m & /rict economy1 ^: necessity %e nev] regrett$1 except z x curtail$ h] *>ities4 ,& n[ began a life ( bus9ess & ( motion4 ,s9ce h] return f ,engl&1 at ! age ( five1 ,m>y _h be5 f home v little1 & only = h] s*ool+4 ,h]eaft] %e is to become a travell]1 to a great] degree ?an 0 !n common = a lady1 & great] ?an %e desir$4 ,h] j\rney+s1 we inf]1 7 always m = o!rs ?an h]self2 ei!r = ! gratification ( fri5ds1 or 9 aid ( h] fa!r4 ,= %e seems to h become1 9 v>i\s ways1 8 active z well z dome/ic help]1 & 0 intru/$ by him1 we %\ld judge f _! lett]s1 ) important bus9ess4 ,= "s purpose ( ?is k9d1 9 ! ye> foll[+ our la/ date1 %e w5t1 = ! fir/ "t1 to ,new ,york4 ,& ! acc\nt %e gives ( ! prep>ations & ! j\rney1 :ile x %[s :at *anges !re h be5 s9ce1 %[s also h[ mu* !re 0 on h] m9d & h] h&s4 ,%e speaks ( gett+ b f\r h\rs = sleep f hav+ s great a v>iety ( occupation1--s mu* = my poor1 weak head to ?9k (4 ,& !n1 half playfully1 half 9 e>ne/1 %e writes ( be+ at la/ equipp$ = a j\rney probably ( two mon?s4 ,b we mu/ give a "p ( ! lett] itself2 %[+1 z x does1 h[ ne> to h]1 ev5 9 h] busie/ mom5ts & mo/ fatigu+ labors1 7 ! high] c>es ( ! m9d & ! s\l4 ,i am glad ( hav+ a great deal to d2 any ?+ t w call my little p[]s into ex]cise gives me a transi5t feel+ ( consequ5ce1 :i*1 z x is highly flatt]+ to vanity1 produces r pleasant s5sations4 ,i w n ent] on ! subject ( leav+ home1 & sett+ out on an exp$ition fraught ) untri$ temptations1 & pres5t+ ev5 9 ! mo/ favorable view a sc5e ( life little calculat$ to satisfy my ta/e or w>m my he>t4 ,b ,i believe !re may be in/ruction f\nd 9 e situation1 & ,i hope t see+ eyes & an und]/&+ he>t w be giv5 me1 to disc]n & improve x4 ,i _c tell y h[ mu* m ,i feel ?an ,i ev] did be=e1 at leav+ home2--,i _c2 x is 9 va9 to attempt s va/ a subject at su* a "t4 ,i h be5 highly favor$ ! la/ two ,sundays 9 he>+ two ( ,mr4 ,*ann+'s mo/ delightful s]mons1 :i* ,i hope w n be soon =gott54 ,la/ ,sunday 0 ! anniv]s>y ( _m ev5tful days to me4 ,! fir/ ,sabba? 9 ,septemb] has = _m ye>s be5 a memorable day to me1 & ?is la/1 ,i ?9k1 exce$s !m all4 ,x is ?ree mon?s s9ce ,i h be5 at home on ,communion-day1 & ! coldness :i* ,i _h felt creep+ ?r\gh my v s\l gave me a feel+ ( hope t ,i %\ld f9d some?+ to excite & elevate my affections4 ,i nev] felt m entirely humbl$ to ! du/1 or m s5sible ( ! imm5se privilege we enjoy1 9 hav+ su* a man to guide u on our way4 ,b ,i am s excessively we>y t ,i _c write m1--sc>cely to assure y ( ! w>m affection ( y\r ,m4 ,l4 ,p4 ,! j\rney to ,new ,york1 by way ( ,provid5ce & ,norwi*1 0 a week's "w1 ?\gh x seems to h be5 all us$ 9 travell+1 b ) _m adv5tures & delays incid5t to ! beg9n+ ( /eamboats1--aga9/ :i*1 not)/&+ ! discom=ts & p]ils1 ,m>y expresses h]self n s prejudic$ t ,i %\ld be unwill+ to /ep on bo>d "o aga94 ,! lett]s %e writes f ! great city1 s new & /range1 are almo/ exclusively bus9ess lett]s to h] fa!r1 & 8 replies %[ t he _h giv5 h] important commissions1 to be dis*>g$ 9 p]son1 & 9 h] own discretion4 ,directions are giv5 = ! sale or pur*ase1 n only ( musl9s & more5s1 b also ( sk9s1 saltpetre1 & ! l4 ,& at ! end ( sev]al weeks1 9 :i* %e seems n to h indulg$ h]self 9 mu* recreation1 %e speaks ( return+ z soon z %e has se5 ! city4 ,b in/ead ( return+1 %e 0 induc$ by a tempt+ opportunity to g /ill f>!r f home1 & ) no "t to get h] fa!r's p]mission1--a lib]ty evid5tly new on h] "p1 & receiv+ at fir/ sev]e repro( f him4 ,! incid5t is n important1 except z %[+ _! relation to ea* o!r1 & ! mann] 9 :i* %e incurr$ & endur$ 7be+ n[ a woman7 ! only h>% language t we f9d address$ to h] by h] fa!r1--?\gh x is cle> t he always incl9$ to be exact+4 ,! tr\ble 9 ?is case 01 t he fir/ he>d f ano!r ( h] be+ se5 on h] way to ,baltimore1 :5 he ?\ght h] safe ) fri5ds 9 ,new ,york1 if n on h] way home4 ,! fact 0 easily expla9$4 ,a g5tleman ) :om %e 0 intimate invit$ h] to accompany him to ,baltimore1 :]e %e _h long wi%$ to visit a c\s9 newly m>ri$ & settl$ !re2 &1 ) ! approval ( ^? ) :om %e 0 /ay+1 %e accept$ ! invitation z sudd5ly z %e receiv$ x1 & 9 two h\rs 0 9 ! /age = ,baltimore1 to ride night & day till %e arriv$ !re4 ,z soon z possible aft] h] arrival1 %e wrote to h] fa!r all ! circum/ances1 giv+ h] reasons 9 a way t %\ld & did av]t 8 displeasure entirely4 ,b un=tunately he _h already he>d ( ! runaway by accid5t1 & "o is =c$ to smile at ! mann] 9 :i* x affect$ him4 ,n wait+ to he> f ,m>y1 he in/antly wrote to ! lady 9 ,new ,york ) :om %e _h /aid1--,i am exce$+ly vex$ & mortifi$ t %e %\ld d any ?+ s fooli%1 & _c conceive h[ %e w be able to ju/ify h]self2 _h ,i _h any idea %e w\ld h be5 s indiscreet1 ,i w\ld n h cons5t$ to h] leav+ ,bo/on4 ,i h be5 expect+ daily to he> :at 0 likely to be done ) "s musl9s %e _h ! *>ge (2 b in/ead ( att5d+ to t1 %e is fly+ l a wild goose ab\t ! c\ntry4 ,^! girls 9 _! te5s ,m>y 0 j tw5ty %\ld n be let out ( _! lead+-/r+s2 nor w\ld h]'s h be5 let loose1 b f confid5ce 9 h] discretion4 ,yet 9 company ) ?is lett] he s5t a note = 8 daught]1 :i* beg9s ) say+ he c h>dly call h] de>1 b ends 9 a v diff]5t tone2 & ! fir/ lett] he receives sets all "r4 ,8 only anxiety n[ is to h h] ) him1 c\pl$1 h[ev]1 ) a fe> z to h] companion home1 & aga9 mak+ u smile by a pr$iction :i* has be5 s+ul>ly rev]s$ 9 ! fulfilm5t4 ,if y are well1 pray come by ! fir/ good opportunity4 ,i am afraid y w wait till ! end ( ! mon? = ! p>son2 y\r be+ s fond ( p>sons is r om9\s1 & y _h bett] almo/ be any man's wife ?an a p>son's4 ,! p>son ref]r$ to 0 ,mr4 ,colman ( ,h+ham1 n[ return+ f a visit to ,baltimore4 ,x is a pleasant conclusion ( ?is little episode1 & (f]s a h9t to *ildr5 z well z p>5ts1 t1 :5 ,m>y f\nd h[ mu* h] fa!r _h felt1 )\t blam+ h]self = do+ :at seem$ "r & a duty1 %e express$ su* sorr[ = ! pa9 %e _h giv5 him1 9 t]ms s respectful & filial1 z to turn all 8 sev]ity aga9/ himself1 & increase 8 admiration & love = h]4 ,! next "t he ref]s to h] fondness = ! cl]gy1 x is 9 a ve9 ( pleasantry :i* seldom relieves 8 m]*ant-l lett]s4 ,c\ld y n1 my de>1 enliv5 y\r lett]s by writ+ ( p]sons & ?+s :i* y h se58 ,i ?9k y\r lett]s are too mu* t9ctur$ ) :at may be call$ moral philosophy1 = s "y a p]son4 ,y are s fond ( ! cl]gy1 y w get into a habit ( writ+ l "o ( !m1 & if y 7 to turn ,quak]1 ,i h no d\bt b y w\ld prea* y\rself4 ,tell u some?+ ( ,baltimore1 h[ x is situat$1 c42 &1 z ,mrs4 ,slipslop says1 some?+ ( ! 'contagi\s c\ntry4' ,pray take c>e ( y\r own heal?1 & get ! family well soon4 ,! la/ words ref] to ! actual cause ( ,m>y's protract$ abs5ce4 ,on return+ to ,new ,york1 int5d+ to g home by ! fir/ opportunity1 %e f\nd h] good fri5d1 ,mrs4 ,h>man1 :om %e 0 visit+ be=e1 dang]\sly ill1 ! husb& abs5t1 & ! family 9 great confusion & tr\ble4 ,at once %e became ! director & nurse1--(fices :i* %e seem$ de/9$ to fill :]ev] %e w5t1 z h] subsequ5t life w %[4 ,all ?\ght n[ ( h]self & h] plans yield$ to ! pres5t duty4 ,& n an easy duty c\ld x h be51 z %e describes ! sev]ity ( ! "m's sickness1 ! c>e ( difficult *ildr51 & h] responsibility 9 ano!r's h\se & a /range city4 ,z soon z !y 7 9 a condition to be left1 %e return$ to ,bo/on1 ?\gh ,mr4 ,pick>d ev5 urg$ h] to /ay long]1 = re/ & h] own gratification4 ,= a ye> or m ,m>y & h] fa!r rema9$ toge!r 9 ,bo/on1 ) no *ange or incid5t to be notic$4 ,!y 7 liv+ at bo>d1 s f> z we f9d1 ?\gh !y may h tak5 a h\se1 z he seem$ v anxi\s be=e h] return to be alone ) h]1 hav+ an av]sion to company1 & pref]r+ h] society & c>e to all o!r4 ,9 h] correspond5ce at ?is "t1 ! prevail+ !me & object1 z usual1 7 religion & its influ5ces1 = h]self & o!rs4 ,we _c b obs]ve ! prepond]ance ( ?is !me1 & yet its p]fectly natural & heal?y tone4 ,) no?+ d>k or melan*oly 9 h] religi\s views1 ) an habitual horror ( o/5tation & cant1 %e lo/ no opportunity to *]i% & diffuse an all-compreh5d+ fai?4 ,! lett]s :i* foll[1 address$ to h] con/ant fri5d1 decl>e _! own occasion & design4 ,bo/on1 ,augu/ #ab1 #ahai4 ,!re 0 some?+ 9 ! /ra9 ( y\r la/ lett] to me :i* has giv5 me "s feel+s ( anxiety4 ,y ref] to ! c\rse ( m$ical discipl9e :i* has be5 pursu$ ) ,mr4 ---- ) expressions ( regret1 :i*1 ?\gh natural1 mu/ add greatly to e o!r pa9ful feel+ t 8 pres5t situation1 & p]haps loss1 mu/ inevitably excite4 ,i _c repreh5d y = :at ,i "k b too well is ! natural impulse "u su* circum/ances2 b ,i w\ld1 if x 7 possible1 po9t to a heal+ balm = t wor/ ( all w\nds1--fruitless regret4 ,i am no fatali/1 b ! cont9ual influ5ce ( an un]r+ ,provid5ce is a tru? :i* 0 e>ly impress$ on my he>t1 & :i* daily obs]vation has confirm$ & /r5g!n$4 ,! simple ord] ( nature speaks x ) a p[]ful voice2 ! sacr$ pages ( ,god's own book proclaim x 9 t]ms :i* _c be miscon/ru$2 & w\ld we imp>tially review our own lives1 %\ld we n see 9 !m incontrov]tible pro(s ( an unse5 p[]1 t guid$ & direct$ _m ?+s = our happ9ess :i* our bl9dness w\ld h wi%$ o!rwise8 ,& are we to ass5t to ?is tru? only :5 our m9ds c cle>ly see its reality8 ,are we to )hold our confid5ce 9 ,him :om we h always f\nd mighty to save1 because we _c 9 a s+le in/ance see its practicability8 ,o1 no6 f> be x f u1 :o pr(ess to ackn[l$ge ! be+ & attributes ( a m]ciful ,god1 to %r9k :5 he puts our fai? to ! te/4 ,are 8 s (t5 repeat$ expressions ( love t[>ds 8 creatures m]e empty s\nds to deceive ! cr$ul\s1 or assi/ ! imag9ation 9 =m+ a p]fect model ( moral sublimity1 b to )] into airy no?+ :5 we dwell on !m = support8 ,?is we w\ld n1 mo/ c]ta9ly1 admit 9 our actions1 & :y %\ld we ev5 9 our ?\ghts8 ,surely1 believ+1 z we d1 t 8 promises are sure & /eadfa/1 we may 9 ! d>ke/ h\rs ( adv]sity f9d consolation 9 ! ?\ght1 t1 h[ev] my/]i\s may be 8 decrees1 !re mu/ be "s good result1 "s b5evol5t design1 conceal$ b5ea? ! mo/ d\btful appe>ances4 ,c[p] has beautifully v]sifi$ ?is idea 9 8 hymn1 beg9n+ ',god moves 9 a my/]i\s way1 ,8 wond]s to p]=m'2 y w f9d x 9 ,belknap4 ,read x = ! sake ( "o :om 9 all trials x has animat$ & consol$4 ,=give me = dwell+ s long on ?is subject4 ,d n inf] t ,i ?9k x new to y1 b x is "o 9 :i* ,i h felt mo/ deeply1 on :i*1 too1 ,i h _h ! mo/ sev]e cont5tions ) ! _s t w>re? )91 & "o :i*1 ( all o!rs1 x is necess>y = our happ9ess & goodness to e/abli% 9 our he>ts1 t x may effectually influ5ce our lives4 ,,m>y4 99 99 99 99 99 ,bru% ,hill1 ,septemb] #bb1 #ahai4 ,x is n[ a mon? s9ce ! date ( y\r la/ lett]1 dur+ :i* "t ,i ?9k ,i h at lea/ once writt5 y2 b our int]c\rse is n[ s diff]5t f :at ,i w\ld desire at ?is peculi>ly ev5tful p]iod1 t x seems z if ,i did no?+1 if ,i d n tell y e day h[ mu* dep5ds on its ev5ts4 ,i h be5 ) y 9 a happy vision1 & awake to ! sad disappo9tm5t t x is b a dream1 & to ! consci\sness t = a long "t my unfruitful p5 w be my only means ( communication4 ,x w\ld be weak to rep9e at :at is inevitable2 ,i w n give way to x4 ,h[ (t5 h y told me t y 7 almo/ tempt$ to pray = trial1 t y might "k ! true /ate ( y\r religi\s life1 t y might h y\r fai? put to ! te/1 & ! veil ( self-deception tak5 f y\r eyes6 ,(t5 h ,i pray$ t1 :5ev] x %\ld please ! ,dispos] ( all ?+s to s5d to y sorr[ & affliction1 y might f9d /r5g? & support :]e lea/ expect$1 n f y\r own res\rces1 b 9 t arm :i* is mighty to save to ! utt]mo/ all :o seek4 ,x is n1 h[ev]1 simply 9 ! belief t :atev] ,he appo9ts is "r1 t y are to receive 8 disp5sations2 difficult z is ! task1 we mu/ n re/ satisfi$ ) ourselves until we h le>n$ to receive ) *e]ful acquiesc5ce :at ! _w calls trials2 until we h le>n$ to view all ev5ts z t5d+ to ! same great end1 & be ?ankful = :at is d5i$1 z well z :at is receiv$2 kn[+ t !re is b "o great object 9 ea*4 ,?is may at fir/ seem too high an aim1 ev5 above human p[]s to atta94 ,b x calls n on u to give up natural feel+1 only to guide x aright1 & ! high] our /&>d ( excell5ce is fix$1 ! great] w be our ef=ts to atta9 x1 & our success unque/ionably proportion$ to x4 ,b :y talk to y ( :at y h already m k8 ,=give me2 ,i lo/1 9 ! int]e/ ,i felt 9 y\r pres5t happ9ess1 ! remembrance t y 7 n 9 want ( c\nsel on a subject on :i* y h already exp]i5c$ en\gh to feel its importance4 ,b d n1 my de> fri5d1 look only on ! d>k side ( ! picture2 d n suff] y\r m9d to lose its activity1 because conf9$ at pres5t to "o subject4 ,x is n to contract our feel+s1 b to exp& & tea* !m to ent] into ! feel+s ( o!rs1 t we are made ?us to exp]i5ce :at x is to suff]4 ,%\ld x n quick5 our ef=ts to alleviate1 to our utmo/ endeavor1 ^? :o are tri$ also1 & by a *e]ful example light5 ! he>ts ( fell[-suff]]s8 ,i h felt1 & "k !re=e too well1 ! t5d5cy ( sev]e trial to en]vate ! m9d1 & lead u ins5sibly to give up our ambition to act on any o!r subject2 b our g5]al duties are n ! less impos+1 because a p>ticul> "o requires m att5tion1 nor are we to give way = a mom5t to ! impulse ( self-indulg5ce1 because we feel any peculi> "r to x4444 ,all ?is is unnecess>y1 b y c conceive h[ deeply ,i feel int]e/$ 9 ! result ( ?is great trial ( y\r ,*ri/ian fai?4 ,i "k its difficulties1 !re=e c appreciate its triumphs4 ,,m>y4 99 99 99 99 99 ,bo/on1 #ahai4 ,i leave ! dismal beg9n+ ( a lett]1 int5d$ to excite y\r compassion = my suff]+ "u ! conf9em5t ( a cold1 & x w\ld be r mal apropos1 aft] :at has pass$1 to proce$ 9 due =m to give an acc\nt ( myself dur+ ! long p]iod s9ce ,i la/ saw y4 ,b 9 ord] to pres]ve ! unity ( "t & place1 ,i mu/ fir/ rev]t to ! accid5t :i* br\ght u toge!r s opportunely4 ,i w n pret5d to def5d ! prud5ce ( ! action1 b ackn[l$ge x 0 r ! impulse ( /rong desire to give "s "o a little pleasure1 ?an ! sob] dictate ( reason1 & ,i felt t1 9 ,m----'s solit>y /ate1 %e w\ld be glad to see any "o4 ,i "k x 0 wrong 9 "o po9t ( view1 b "r 9 ano!r4 ,i 0 rew>d$ = a sev]e sickness1 z f> z reg>d$ my own suff]+s1 %\ld "o h ensu$4 ,i _h a v pleasant ride1 & became m acqua9t$ ) ,j---- ?an ,i c\ld 9 any o!r way4 ,i 0 agreeably surpris$ to f9d 9 8 conv]sation s mu* dep? ( ?\ght & k ( mank9d4 ,i am glad ( any opportunity to ext5d my acqua9tance ) "*1 9 its inf9ite v>iety4 ,!re is no human k1 ,i am p]suad$1 :i* has s great an influ5ce on our happ9ess4 ,we le>n to e/imate ourselves m ju/ly1 & 9 ! =mation ( our own *>act]s we are enabl$ to discrim9ate betwe5 "r & wrong m accurately2 = 9 no?+ are we m liable to conf\nd !m1 ?an z respects our own feel+s & motives4 ,is x n wilful bl9dness t leads u s (t5 to ridicule 9 o!rs :at we unconsci\sly practise ourselves8 ,:y are we n z cauti\s to asc]ta9 ! motives ( ! conduct ( o!rs z ( our own8 ,we console ourselves1 :5 we h done any ?+ :i* to ! eyes ( ! _w appe>s weak & fooli%1 ) ! ?\ght t our motives are good1 & ) a consci\sness ( hav+ done :at 0 "r4 ,all else is ( little importance2 b did we believe t our fri5ds 7 z mu* influ5c$ by appe>ances1 9 _! judgm5t ( u1 z we are 9 ours ( !m1 ,i d\bt if ! approv+ smile ( consci5ce w\ld always comp5sate = ! loss ( ! good op9ion ( ^? we love4 ,let u n1 !n1 judge solely by ! conduct ( any :at are _! real *>act]s2 peculi> circum/ances may prev5t ev5 our mo/ intimate fri5ds f disclos+ to u _! p>ticul> reasons = e action2 b 9 t case1 if x be a tri$ fri5d1 x 7 surely a pro( ( fri5d%ip to believe t x is at lea/ felt by him to be "r4 ,& ) reg>d to p 9 g5]al1 let *>ity h its p]fect "w1 & let u ?9k all are free f delib]ate faults1 till we h good reason to suppose o!rwise4 ,?is is1 p]haps1 if und]/ood lit]ally1 r too lib]al a plan = ?is _w ( s9 & wick$ness2 b z f> z is consi/5t ) reason1 & our previ\s k ( m5 & mann]s1 is x n j to judge ( all z we w\ld be judg$8 ,i h felt ! want ( ?is _s ( imp>tial ju/ice1 & speak f exp]i5ce 9 "s respects2 9 "o1 ,i hope nev] to be tri$4 ,i h be5 :at y call my/]i\s2 c\ld y und]/& me1 y w\ld1 ,i am sure1 approve4 ,believe me1 ,i am n gov]n$ by caprice 9 my treatm5t ( fri5ds2 if any ?+ may h appe>$ s1 !re has always be5 a motive1 & ,i feel t ,i may confid5tly rely on y\r fri5d%ip = all *>itable con/ruction4444 ,i am 9 a sad /ate4 ,i long to see y1 9 hopes ( procur+ "s rem$y 9 y\r bett] regulat$ m9d4 ,i am s mu* "u ! dom9ion ( c]ta9 sickly feel+s ( late1 t ,i beg9 to ?9k my m9d w nev] recov] its heal?y tone aga92 active employm5t = ! good ( o!rs is ! only prev5tive = su* disord]s4 ,i h n at pres5t any prospect ( su* a means t[>ds my own recov]y1 b tru/ ! vital en]gy ( my be+ is n q ext9ct1 & t ere long x w rise & subdue ! weak] p[]s4444 ,i h j ?\ght t x is ! spr+-l feel+ ( ! day t has su* a weak5+ effect on my m9d4 ,:y d we indulge s mu* 9 idealism1 in/ead ( ! real pleasure ( our exi/5ce8 ,i h no op9ion ( ?is giv+ way to imag9ation 9 our e/imate ( life4 ,,m>y4 ,9 ! mon? ( ,octob] a dea? occurr$ :i* awak5$ all h] sympa?y1 & ! sympa?y & sorr[ ( a l>ge community4 ,! ,rev4 ,john ,e4 ,abbot1 ^: life & "* ,h5ry ,w>e has made famili> to u all1 di$ 9 ,octob]1 at 8 fa!r's 9 ,exet]1 :]e ,m>y's fri5d 0 /ay+ z a relative4 ,to bo? ( !m he _h be5 a ,*ri/ian help] :5 !y mo/ ne$$ ,*ri/ian c\nsel & enc\ragem5t4 ,8 %ort life 01 inde$1 a bless+ to all :o knew him1 & 8 dea? full ( joy & peace 9 believ+4 ,aga9 0 ! p5 tak51 & solace (f]$4 ,bo/on1 ,octob] #ae1 #ahai4 ,i attempt$1 my de> fri5d1 to write y on ,tuesday1 = ,i felt !n t1 all be+ ov]1 ,i c\ld calmly write ( :at _h pass$1 & direct y\r feel+s & my own to ! future4 ,b ,i knew f exp]i5ce t a few days' delay w\ld f9d y m 9 want ( a lett]2 z ! necess>y ex]tion :i* att5ds a sc5e l t y h pass$ ?r\gh occupies ! :ole m9d :ile x is necess>y to support x1 b leaves1 :5 x is pass$1 a vacuity :i* ne$s "s ext]nal p[] to fill x4 ,p]haps ,i too easily f\nd 9 ?is an excuse = leav+ my lett] unf9i%$1 & n[ t ,i review x1 ,i blu% at my own weakness4 ,i s\ght to relieve my own he>t1 in/ead ( /r5g!n+ y\rs4 ,i h be5 ) y e mom5t s9ce ,i la/ wrote y1 & too fully realiz$ all t y h suff]$4 ,at ! mom5t ,i 0 writ+ y1 t pure _s 0 tak+ its flight4 ,i felt x z by intuition1 & ne$$ n fur!r confirmation4 ,b x 0 a relief to "k t 8 bless$ _s 0 = ev] beyond ! rea* ( pa9 & angui%2 t x 0 exalt$ to its native home1 !re to realize all t 8 brighte/ hopes c\ld anticipate ( a glori\s immortality4 ,i feel an almo/ total inability to write y on ?is subject4 ,c\ld ,i talk to y1 !re w\ld be "t to enl>ge on all ! ?\ghts :i* x sugge/s4 ,b !y are s v>i\s1 s int]e/+1 s ov]p[]+1 t ,i "k n on :i* to dwell4 ,8 virtues are too deeply impr9t$ on our he>ts to receive any additional weight by enum]ation4 ,we c only g =w>d ) !m to t _w :]e !y %all meet a rew>d proportionate to _! value4 ,! remembrance ( 8 "*1 :ile x awak5s e emotion ( affection :i* he excit$ :ile on e>?1 %$s on ! he>t a light :i* unfolds to ! eye ( fai? its glori\s p]fection 9 heav54 ,no?+ 9 him c h escap$ ! m9d ( "o s closely connect$ ) him2 fri5ds ne$ n to be rem9d$ ( :at is impr9t$ 9 indelible *>act]s on _! he>ts4 ,b ! ?\ght t :at we s lov$ & *]i%$ is gone = ev] f u1 t ! =m by :i* we h held communion ) ! _s is hid = ev] f our view1 ! *ill+ realities ( dea? & decay1 z !y appeal to our pure/ e>?ly feel+s1 are ! mo/ difficult to cont5d )4 ,our brighte/ visions ( ! future h a mo/ p[]ful drawback 9 ! horror ) :i* nature %r9ks f ! sad app5dages ( dea?4 ,x is ?is1 ,i ?9k1 :i* m ?an any ?+ else makes u look =w>d to our own dissolution ) in/9ctive dread1 & leads u to avoid1 if possible1 e ?+ t rem9ds u ( x4 ,b :5 we view x z x really is1 b a /ep 9 ! ceaseless progression :i* is to c>ry u on to et]nity1 z a m]e *ange ( ! ext]nal habitation ( our spirits1 a removal ( ! greate/ imp$im5ts 9 our progress t[>ds p]fection1 !n1 inde$1 x loses all its t]ror1 & we ?9k ( our fri5ds :o h pass$ ?r\gh x z abs5t only 9 body1 b pres5t 9 _s4 ,our own s\ls1 ?\gh /ill connect$ ) an e>?ly load1 =m by _! d]ivation f heav5 a "p ( ! spiritual _w1 & 9 proportion z !y become purifi$ f ! corruption ( ! _w1 !y approa* ! /ate ( ^? beatifi$ be+s :o h f9i%$ _! c\rse4 ,& !re=e1 ?\gh sep>at$ f !m 9 ?is _w1 we are alli$ to !m m closely ?an e>?ly ties c\ld b9d u1 & mu/ pati5tly wait = ! fulfilm5t ( our ,fa!r's plans = our joyful removal to !m4 ,?is is1 inde$1 a new inc5tive to ex]tion1 to prep>e ourselves = ?is *ange4 ,i h fe>$ x might sup]s$e a /ill high] motive2 b h[ f> x may be p]mitt$ to influ5ce u1 ,i d>e n det]m9e4 ,t our e>?ly affections may be a means ( lead+ u to ! ,creator ( !m & ( all our p[]s ( ?9k+ & feel+1 ,i believe mu/ be true1 or !y w\ld n h be5 giv5 u z s\rces ( su* pure enjoym5t "h4 ,b _! t5d5cy to make u =get all o!r consid]ations1 to absorb ^? ?\ghts :i* %\ld be direct$ to high] objects1 is ! trial :i* always att5ds e means ( worldly enjoym5t we possess1 & z su* %\ld be combat$ ) our utmo/ p[]s4444 ,y\rs1 mo/ truly1 ,m4 ,l4 ,p4 ,9 ! summ] ( #ahba ,m>y w5t ) h] fa!r to live 9 ,dor*e/]4 ,& ! *ange f t[n to c\ntry1 & f a life ( bus9ess & c>e to ! free & /ill enjoym5t ( nature1 seems to h _h bo? a favorable & unfavorable effect ^u h] m9d4 ,unfavorable 9 "p1 if we may tru/ h] own acc\nt ( h]self4 ,9 ?is acc\nt1 h[ev]1 !re is a ne>] approa* to morbidness ?an we h be=e se51 & a k9d ( self-disp>agem5t1 :i* mu/ h be5 s9c]e at ! "t1 b 0 n1 we ?9k1 a "p ( h] ess5tial "*4 ,humble %e 0 always2 truly1 deeply humble2 yet no "o knew bett] ?an %e1 or act$ m ^u ! tru?1 t g5u9e humility says v little ab\t itself4 ,& ! expressions ( x :i* appe> 9 ! lett]s t foll[ 7 made1 we are to rememb]1 to a confid+ fri5d1 to :om %e decl>$ all t %e felt1 ?\gh x 7 b ! feel+ ( ! mom5t1 & ! next mom5t recall$4 ,%e says h]self1 9 ?is connection1--,i believe ,i h giv5 an extravagant detail ( my dang]2 & ,i may be "u ! influ5ce ( "o ( ^? fits ( di/emp]$ m9d1 to :i* ,i h always be5 prone4 ,if ?is 7 s1 x %[s ! m :at ef=ts %e made1 & h[ completely %e br\ght e su* disposition "u ! sway ( pr9ciple1 s t few :o knew h] ev] suspect$1 we imag9e1 t any ef=t 0 necess>y4 ,b we are ourselves ov]/at+1 x may be1 ! disposition to :i* we ref]4 ,:]ev] x appe>s1 z "h1 x is connect$ ) su* j & exalt$ s5tim5ts1 t x seems incid5tal & unimportant4 ,dor*e/]1 ,june #ah1 #ahba4 ,! fir/ l9e :i* ,i date f ?is place is to y1 my fri5d1 to :om my fir/ feel+s1 on all occasions ( self-int]e/1 turn = sympa?y4 ,y\r fri5dly curiosity is awake to "k :at effect a new k9d ( life is to h on a "* :i* ,i "k y feel ( "s importance to y\rself4 ,i w\ld n imply t ?is selfi% reason is ! only motive ( y\r int]e/1 b ,i seek r to f9d 9 x "s pret5ce = indulg+ myself 9 ! egotism :i* is creep+ ov] me2 & :i* l$ me to ?is desk = relief4 ,h[ mu* w "o %ort week ( quiet reflection tea* ( our own he>ts6 ,h[ deceiv$ are we1 if we imag9e we "k ourselves ?or\ghly1 :5 we h be5 b p>tially expos$ to t *ange ( circum/ances & situation :i* alone c develop "* ev5 to "o's self6 ,i h f\nd1 inde$1 j :at ,i anticipat$1 t ! *ange f con/ant activity to p]fect /illness & inaction w\ld ( c\rse produce a vacuity :i* "t & habit w\ld alone ov]come2 b ,i knew n ! :ole weakness ( my m9d4 ,9 ! bu/le ( a busy life 7idly busy1 p]haps1 b n ! less excit+7 ,i _h almo/ lo/ sight ( my natural prop5sities4 ,accu/om$ to f9d objects to occupy my p[]s :]ev] ,i turn$1 ,i mi/ook ! simple love ( be+ employ$ = real en]gy ( m9d1 & !re=e did n ev5 appreh5d ! want ( p[] to direct ^! en]gies to :atev] ,i pleas$4 ,b x is n z ,i ?\ght4 ,my natural turn ( m9d 7if ,i may s call :at is p]haps m a weakness ( he>t7 is = t calm1 sadd5$ view ( ?+s1 :i* seeks enjoym5t f ! contemplative 9 "*1 & lives r on ! food ( imag9ation ?an reality4 ,i nev] f\nd 9 words a m accurate description ( ! prevail+ mood ( my natural feel+s ?an 9 t exquisite little poem1 ',i'm pleas$1 & yet ,i'm sad1'--yet n ( an uneasy1 discont5t$ temp]am5t1 b simply incl9$ to ! pure/ ref9em5t ( melan*oly4 ,trials :i* call$ = vigor ( m9d & *e]fulness ( mann]1 a situation ^: duties requir$ ! full employm5t ( "t :i* might o!rwise h be5 wa/$ 9 cultivat+ ?is prop5sity1 & p]haps a little pride le/ ^? :o c\ld n und]/& x %\ld discov] x1 & ,i hope a pr9ciple :i* taught me to wage w> ) :at mu/ int]f]e ) high] duties1--all ^! comb9$ to /ifle ! prop5sity1 & ,i sometimes ?\ght _h almo/ ext+ui%$ x4 ,b n[1 remov$ f ^? occupations :i* dem&$ ?\ght z well z action1 ?r[n entirely ^u myself1 ) e ?+ ar\nd to inspire ! en?usia/ic indulg5ce ( fancy1 my imag9ation has sudd5ly tak5 ! re9s1 & ,i f9d x w n be )\t a /ruggle t reason & pr9ciple w recov] !m4 ,i suppose ,i mu/ set ab\t "s new /udy or dry book1 if ,i _c f9d "s animate subject to int]e/ & fix my m9d4 ,!re is a little deaf & dumb girl j opposite u1 & if ,i knew ! process ,i w\ld tea* h] to read4 ,i mu/ h some?+ to d :i* w r\se my m9d to ex]tion4 ,i h employm5t en\gh1 b x is n ( my m9d1 & t is un=tunately "o :i* w retrograde if x does n progress4 ,i am delight$ ) our situation1 & _c describe to y ! s5sations ( fir/ realiz+ t ,i am liv+ 9 ! pure1 unconf9$ atmosph]e ( nature4 ,x has a p[]1 :i* ,i hope famili>ity w nev] efface1 ( elevat+ ! he>t to ,him ^: 'h& ,i see1 wr\ght 9 ea* fl[]1 inscrib$ on e tree4' ,x is a privilege :i* ,i hope ,i %all fully e/imate1 to be ?us rem9d$ at e glance ( ! love & p[] ( our ,fa!r 9 heav54 ,i am grateful = t goodness :i* has appo9t$ me s mu* ( ! pure/ enjoym5t ( life1 & ,i w\ld te/ify x by devot+ all my p[]s to 8 be/ s]vice4 ,i 0 n made = solitude ( he>t1 & ,i w\ld f9d all t my he>t requires 9 ! love ( div9e p]fection4 ,i ?9k ,fo/] w d me good1--',on ! ,epi!t ,romantic4' ,i h j be5 tak+ a delightful walk1 z ! sun 0 sett+ glori\sly1 & ,i ?9k if y 7 only ) me ,i %\ld enjoy x t5fold4 ,i wi% y c\ld arrange matt]s to come out ) fa!r "o night be=e y g1 & we w g to ,milton4 ,,m>y4 99 99 99 99 99 ,dor*e/]1 ,july #be1 #ahba4 ,i wrote y la/ r a monoton\s r\nd ( s$5t>y employm5ts1 occasionally int]rupt$ by a visit to ! city1 or a ride ab\t ! c\ntry4 ,on ! :ole ,i enjoy life highly1 al?\gh my pres5t mode is s novel a "o1 t ,i am sometimes at a loss to decide :e!r x is actual enjoym5t or negative indulg5ce ( ease4 ,b c\ntry life is a privilege ,i e/imate mo/ highly2 t ,i c at all times1 :5 ,i raise my eyes1 f9d my ?\ghts s =cibly direct$1 by all ,i behold1 to t '/ill communion :i* transc5ds ! imp]fect (fices ( pray] & praise'6 ,i am p]suad$ t x is f> easi] to cultivate a devotional _s "h ?an 9 ! confusion ( life1 & to h a deep] s5se ( ! pres5ce ( ,god 9 ! he>t4 ,feel+ is little1 to be sure1 unless x =tifies = action2 b 9 ! h\r ( trial1 we f9d great assi/ance 9 recall+ pa/ ex]cises1 & 9 spiritual z well z temporal conc]ns habit is a p[]ful coadjutor4 ,t high-wr\ght /ate ( feel+ :i* "s ( ! spl5did appe>ances ( nature (t5 produce on a he>t :i* has once felt ! p[] ( piety1 is ridicul$ z en?usiasm ( ! mo/ dang]\s k9d2 & ,i d n myself ?9k x is any te/ ( religi\s "*2 b z f> z ! enjoym5t ( ! pres5t mom5t is ( any importance1 :at c exce$ x8 ,we are1 inde$1 too apt to feel t we h be5 on ! m\nt1 :5 x 0 b a vision :i* we saw2 b :]e x does n s deceive u1 no?+ b a good effect c result f its indulg5ce4 ,i recollect "p ( a description ( ?is /ate ( m9d 9 ,wordswor?'s ,excursion1 :i* f its accuracy has rema9$ 9 my m9d1 ?\gh ,i =get ! sc5e :i* sugge/$ x3-- ',s\nd ne$$ none1 ,nor any =m ( words2 8 _s drank ,! spectacle2 s5sation1 s\l1 & =m ,all melt$ 9 him2 !y swall[$ up ,8 animal be+2 9 !m did he live1 ,& by !m did he live2 !y 7 8 life4 ,9 su* access ( m9d1 9 su* high h\r ,( visitation f ! liv+ ,god1 ,?\ght 0 n2 9 enjoym5t x expir$4 ,no ?anks he brea!d1 he pr(f]$ no reque/4 ,rapt into /ill communion t transc5ds ,! imp]fect (fices ( pray] & praise1 ,8 m9d 0 a ?anksgiv+ to ! ,p[] ,t made him2 x 0 bless$ness & love4' ,i h got ,samor to read1 because y recomm5d x1 & am %ock$ to f9d h[ unfit my m9d has become = e k9d ( application 9 ! way ( read+4 ,i "k y ?9k ,i am greatly defici5t 9 t k9d ( lit]>y ta/e :i* fits "o = an agreeable companion1--& ,i feel mo/ s5sibly t x is true4 ,b ,i am fully p]suad$ t if ! s5tim5tal requisites ( an int]e/+ "* are only to be d]iv$ f books1 ,i mu/ g ?r\gh life ! pla9 matt]-(-fact lady ,i n[ am2 x is too late = me to "w a re=m4 ,,m>y4 ,n long aft]w>d1 an ev5t occurr$ ( no little int]e/ & importance to ,m>y1--! m>riage ( h] true fri5d1 n[ ,mrs4 ,pa9e1 :o w5t to reside 9 ,worce/]4 ,9 a lett] dat$ ,may1 #ahbb1 we f9d a full expression ( ! ?\ghts & wi%es caus$ by ?is ev5t1 b ( too p]sonal & private a "* to be us$4 ,! lett] closes ) an allusion to h]self1 %[+ t %e _h trials & exp]i5ces ( h] own1 n to be disclos$ to ! public eye4 ,%e speaks ( ! previ\s w9t]1 z a rem>kable era1 nev] to be =gott54 ,its p]plexities h pass$ away1 b its bless+s h increas$ & become consummat$4 ,we h all f\nd x an important p]iod1 & to "s ( u ! mo/ s ( life4 ,h[ f> x has improv$ u1 ,he :o se>*e? ! he>t alone kn[s2 b = myself1 ,i feel t x has be5 a sc5e ( m m5tal suff]+ ?an ,i ev] be=e knew4 ,y h se5 x1 & w n misund]/& me :5 ,i say t1 _h ,i be5 m indiff]5t1 ,i %\ld h escap$ mu* torture4 ,b x has be5 a good lesson = me4 99 99 99 99 99 ,!re are few great] dem&s ^u ! ex]cise ( a s\nd discretion & practical wisdom1 ?an ! giv+ c\nsel & ex]t+ a "r influ5ce on sceptical m9ds4 ,nor is x (t5 t su* m9ds are will+ to op5 !mselves1 & confide _! d\bts or indiff]5ce to a ,*ri/ian fri5d4 ,un=tunately1 ,*ri/ians are apt to be ei!r too c>eless 9 _! conduct1 or too morose 9 _! mann]s & sev]e ( judgm5t1 to make a favorable impression on ! sceptical1 & w9 _! confid5ce 9 ! assurance ( a g5]\s sympa?y4 ,we d>e n conjecture h[ mu* ( ! infidelity ( ! _w1 & ! unhapp9ess ( ! unbeliev+1 is ow+ to ?is cause4 ,we are sometimes driv5 to ! fe>1 t ,*ri/ians !mselves may h z mu* to answ] = z ^? :om !y exclude = _! unbelief1 & :om !y fail to impress ) ! p[] ( _! own fai?1 or ! beauty ( _! hol9ess4 ,we h _m intimations t ?is 0 felt peculi>ly by h] ( :om we write4 ,& x is "o indication ( "*1 & ( ! aspect & influ5ce ( h] fai?1 t _m came to h] freely ) _! d\bts & difficulties4 ,"s ( ! p>ticul> cases _c be publi%$4 ,b :]e no names are us$ 9 h] acc\nt ( !m1 nor a h9t giv5 ( ! p]sons int5d$1 !re c be no impropriety 9 (f]+ ! facts z relat$4 ,! reflections ) :i* %e accompanies !m may be pr(itable to bo? classes ( m9ds1 ! believ+ & ! d\bt+4 ,"u date ( ,augu/1 #ahbb1 ,m>y writes to h] =m] in/ructors 9 ,h+ham1 giv+ ) o!r incid5ts ! foll[+ case ( h>d indiff]5ce1 if n infidelity4 ,?is leads me to a subject ^u :i* ,i want assi/ance4 ,i h lately met ) a p]son ( my own age1 :o1 ?\gh liv+ 9 a ,*ri/ian l&1 "u ! public disp5sations ( ! ,^w1 f ! m p[]ful influ5ce ( ^? ) :om %e has liv$ & ! want ( education1 is z x 7 :olly ignorant ( :at religion is1 9 any =m1 except z x is 9 "s way connect$ ) go+ to *ur*1 b )\t ! lea/ feel+ ( :at t connection is4 ,%e is n defici5t 9 /r5g? ( m9d1 or capacity to receive in/ruction on ! subject1 b )\t any idea ( ! necessity ( any o!r pr9ciple ( action ?an %e already possesses2 t is1 a firmness ( purpose proce$+ f natural decision1 & a pati5ce "u trial1 because exp]i5ce has taught ! weakness & uselessness ( irritation4 ,n[ ?is seems to me an opportunity ( do+ "s real good4 ,i h almo/ unlimit$ influ5ce ov] h] f ! /rong affection %e feels1 &1 z my opportunities are few1 ,i _c neglect ?is "o )\t reproa*4 ,b t dreadful consci\sness ( incapacity w place its iron h& on my wi%es4 ,i am aw>e t mu* might & ought to be done1 b t mu*1 if n e ?+1 dep5ds on ! fir/ impression4 ,%e mu/ be made to feel ! necessity1 9 ord] to be excit$ to ! pursuit ( piety2 & h[ ?is is to be done ,i "k n4 ,nev] did ,i feel s =cibly ! imp]fection ( ! *>act]s ( ,*ri/ians1 z on ?is occasion4 ,to be able to po9t to "o example ( ! p[] ( religion 9 produc+ t uni=m lovel9ess ( "* & happ9ess ( life ( :i* x is capable1 w\ld d m ?an volumes ( argum5t to su* a m9d & he>t4 ,x has made me %r9k at my own unwor?9ess ( ! "n ,i be>4 ,c\ld y f9d a mom5t to assi/ me 9 ?is und]tak+1 y w\ld conf] an unspeakable k9dness4 ,m4 ,l4 ,p4 ,ano!r m decid$ & s]i\s case came to h] k ab\t ! same "t1--a case ( av[$ a!ism1 confid$ to h] = relief1 & mo/ k9dly & wisely met by h]2 s t1 :ile %e suppos$ no effect _h be5 produc$1 ! "w 0 go+ on1 & an intellig5t1 tr\bl$ _s came out ( d>kness into m>vell\s light4 ,?is success1 :i* seems to h surpris$ h]1 0 app>5tly ow+ to ! beauty ( h] own religion1 & ! h>mony & happ9ess ( h] life1 :i* ! d\bt] c\ld n fail to see1 :i* inde$ fir/ induc$ ! confession1 & 0 m effectual ?an any =mal argum5ts2 ano!r evid5ce ( ! p[] & responsibility ( ! ,*ri/ian c\rse & "*4 ,:at a responsibility did ?is tru/ impose on me6 ,m>y writes2 = ,i knew t no human be+ b myself 0 aw>e ( x4 ,x 0 too mu* to be> alone2 ,i 0 unequal to x1 ,i d>$ n attempt x = a "t1 ,i knew t s mu* dep5d$ on ! v fir/ /ep 9 su* cases4 ,! c\nsellor to :om %e w\ld gladly h gone = aid1 h] belov$ pa/or1 0 !n abs5t1 travell+ 9 ,europe = 8 heal?4 ,he return$ ! foll[+ summ]2 & ! acc\nt %e gives ( t happy ev5t1 famili> z ! facts may be to ! read]s ( ! ,memoir ( ,*ann+1 w be int]e/+ to _m1 z ! impression ( "o :o saw & he>d = h]self4 ,dor*e/]1 ,augu/ #be1 #ahbc4 ,,my ,,de> ,n----3 ,i h j return$ f pass+ ! day ) ,e----1 & al?\gh x is late1 & ,i am v tir$1 ,i _c resi/ ! /rong desire ,i h to s5d y a few l9es by h] to-morr[1 t ,i may give y "s fa9t idea1 at lea/1 ( :at y w\ld h felt1 _h y he>d ,mr4 ,*ann+ ye/]day4 ,b to beg9 at ! "r end ( ! tale1 ,i pass$ ,?ursday 9 t[n1 & le>n$ t ,mr4 ,*ann+ w\ld possibly come 9 a vessel :i* 0 expect$ daily4 ,on ,friday ,i 0 at ,nahant1 & saw a %ip ent] ! h>bor :i* might be t4 ,saturday ,i w5t to ,newton1 & on my return 0 told t he _h actually arriv$1 & 0 to prea* ! next morn+4 ,i c\ld sc>cely cr$it x1 & x 0 n until my arrival at home1 :5 ,i receiv$ a note f ,george reque/+ me to come 9 to he> him1 & pass ! day 9 ,pe>l ,/reet1 t ,i c\ld be conv9c$ x 0 actually true4 ,i w5t 9 on ,sunday morn+1 & ) :at s5sations ,i saw ! *ur* fill+1 & e "o look+ r\nd 9 anxi\s expectation1 y may p]haps imag9e2 x 0 a feel+ m ( dread ?an pleasure1 le/ ! fir/ glance at 8 face %\ld de/roy all our hopes4 ,he wisely wait$ until all _h ent]$1 & :5 8 quick /ep 0 he>d 7= y might h he>d a leaf fall71 ! :ole body ( p rose1 z x 7 ) "o impulse1 to welcome him4 ,he 0 mu* affect$ by ?is1 & x 0 "s seconds be=e he c\ld raise 8 head2 b :5 he did1 x made ! eyes t gaz$ on him rejoice to see him1 seat$ 9 8 accu/om$ corn]1 look+ r\nd on 8 p ) ! mo/ animat$ expression ( joy gl[+ on 8 face1 & ) ! evid5ces ( improv$ heal? /amp$ on e feature4 ,8 sk9 0 mu* burn$1 to be sure1 :i* may h giv5 him an appe>ance ( heal? t did n belong to him1 b ! increase ( 8 fle% & ! animation ( 8 c\nt5ance promis$ mu*4 ,mr4 ,dewey comm5c$ ! s]vices z he us$ to d1 b :51 aft] ! pray]1 ,mr4 ,*ann+ rose & read 8 favorite psalm1-- ',my s\l1 repeat ,8 praise1 ,^: m]cies are s great1' ,i c\ld h>dly realize t he _h be5 abs5t1 8 voice & mann] & action 7 s exactly l himself 9 8 v be/ days4 ,he /ood ?r\gh ! :ole psalm1 & seem$ to jo9 9 & enjoy e note ( ! music4 ,he c\ld n control a smile ( joy4 ,b ( :at foll[$ ,i c tell y little4 ,y h he>d him :5 he felt oblig$1 z !n1 to dismiss ! re/ra9ts ( =m1 & speak freely ! ?\ghts t fill$ 8 m9d1 & h p]haps (t5 ?\ght ) o!rs t he w5t too f>1 0 too p>ticul>1 too p]sonal2 b ye/]day1 ,i believe ! mo/ un9t]e/$ p]son pres5t c\ld n f9d fault4 ,i ?\ght x 0 ! mo/ deeply affect+ address ,i ev] he>d2 x 0 also deeply & decid$ly practical4 ,!re are few occasions :i* w au?orize a m9i/] to excite ! feel+s ( 8 audi5ce 9 a v great degree1 & none :i* c make x all[able = him to re/ 9 m]e excitem5t4 ,b :5 _! m9ds1 f any peculi> circum/ance1 are p>ticul>ly susceptible1 ,i "k no reason :y x %\ld n be p]mitt$ t !y be address$ famili>ly & affectionately on ! subject ( x4 ,b y ne$ n t ,i %\ld def5d ,mr4 ,*ann+ f ! *>ge ( egotism4 ,y und]/& 8 motives too well to require x4 ,8 text 0 f ! hundr$ & sixte5? ,psalm3 ',:at %all ,i r5d] unto ,god = all 8 m]cies8 ,i w (f] ! sacrifice ( ?anksgiv+1 ,i w call on ! "n ( ! ,"l1 ,i w pay my v[s unto ! ,"l n[ 9 ! pres5ce ( 8 p4' ,return+1 z he said1 "u su* peculi> circum/ances ( m]cy to 8 home & 8 p1 he tru/$ no apology 0 necess>y = waiv+ ! common =ms ( ! pulpit1 t he might speak to 8 p z to 8 fri5ds1 t he might 9 ! fulness ( 8 he>t utt] its emotions to ^? :o1 he tru/$1 c\ld und]/& & sympa?ize ) !m4 ,z he slightly review$ ! views ) :i* he left u1 ! m]cies t _h foll[$ him1 & ! bless+s :i* 7 %[]$ on 8 return1 he seem$ almo/ ov]p[]$ ) ! fulness ( 8 feel+s1 & ,i fe>$ he w\ld n be able to g on4 ,b 8 voice rose z he said1 ',& n[ :at %all ,i r5d] = all ^! b5efits8 ,i w fir/ pay my v[s unto ,him1 ^: mighty arm ha? be5 /ret*$ out to save1 ^: nev] fail+ love ha? ev]y:]e att5d$ me4' ,! ascription ( praise :i* foll[$ 0 m truly sublime ?an any ?+ ,i ev] he>d or read4 ,8 solemn d$ication ( 8 r5ew$ life to ! s]vice ( ,him :o _h borne him 9 safety ov] ! great deep1 :o _h su/a9$ him 9 sickness1 com=t$ him 9 affliction1 & cr[n$ all 8 gifts by giv+ him /r5g? to return to 8 duties1 0 almo/ too mu* to be>4 ,x 0 a te/imony to ! p[] ( religion1 :i* spoke m l\dly ?an all ! books t ev] 7 writt5 to prove x4 ,b he meant n to speak ( 8 pa/ exp]i5ces m]ely to relieve 8 own he>t2 he _h b "o great object 9 view1 ! good ( 8 p1 & he w\ld n lose sight ( t ev5 :5 ! fulness ( 8 own feel+s might almo/ be all[$ to engage 8 :ole m9d4 ,he c\ld n be expect$ to enum]ate all t he _h le>n$ dur+ 8 abs5ce1 b "o ?+ he c\ld assure u2 t at e /ep1 "u all circum/ances1 9 e c\ntry1 & ) e v>iety ( "*1 he _h become m & m conv9c$ ( ! value & necessity ( ! ,*ri/ian revelation4 ,! la/ ( t succession ( b]eavem5ts :i* ,m>y 0 s e>ly call$ to meet1 & by :i* %e 0 left z alone 9 ! _w1 0 n[ at h&4 ,s9ce ! dea? ( h] "m1 9 #ahab1 :5 !re devolv$ ma9ly ^u h]1 at ! age ( f\rte51 ! c>e ( a dispirit$ & feeble fa!r1 & two ag$ gr&p>5ts1 ) o!r memb]s ( ! family 9 a mo/ try+ condition1 %e _h liv$ ei!r 9 ! sick-room1 or 9 a press ( dome/ic c>es & bus9ess avocations4 ,t ^! (t5 made a sev]] dem& ^u h] /r5g? & pati5ce1 z well z affection1 ?an any "o knew at ! "t1 or inde$ ev] knew1 appe>s f v>i\s intimations 9 h] lett]s & life4 ,& all ?is 0 n[ to be br\ght to a crisis by ! dea? ( h] fa!r1 leav+ h] )\t "o ne> relative1 or prop] home4 ,!y _h be5 bo>d+ = "s "t 9 ,dor*e/]1 9 ! family ( ,mr4 ,b>n>d2 :]e %e receiv$1 z %e says1 ! greate/ k9dness & affection1--& %e felt ! ne$ ( x4 ,b let h] give ! circum/ances 9 h] own words4 ,bo/on1 ,novemb] #a1 #ahbc4 ,,my ,,de> ,,fri5d3-- ,i h be5 wi%+ ?is :ole week to f9d "t to write y1 b x has be5 :olly impracticable4 ,i h be5 9 a p]petual agitation f sundry unexpect$ occurr5ces & cont9ual int]ruptions f visitors4 ,9 fact1 at no mom5t ( my :ole exi/5ce h ,i m want$ y\r c\nsel & sympa?y4 ,y "k x is my lot to be assail$ 9 m ?an "o direction if 9 any1 & x has be5 m rem>kably ! case n[ ?an ev]4444 ,i ?ank y mo/ s9c]ely = y\r two good lett]s2 x 0 m ?an ,i d>$ expect1 & x 0 a cordial to me to receive ! k9d expression ( y\r sympa?y1 ?\gh ,i %\ld n h d\bt$ its exi/5ce )\t x4 ,y say y 'h he>d b little ( me1' & x 0 sc>cely possible t y %\ld he> ( ! imm$iate circum/ances t att5d$ my trial4 ,x 0 s sudd5 t ,i 01 z x 71 alone1 & ,i h fe>$ t1 9 indulg+ myself 9 writ+ to y ( x1 ,i %\ld give way too f>1 & di/ress & we>y y4 ,i h realiz$ m ?an ,i ev] did 9 any ( ! v>i\s *anges ,i h met )1 t '! w9d is temp]$ to ! %orn lamb1' & ev5 9 ! v extremity ( trial we c be /r5g!n$ to support all ) calmness4 ,= ! fir/ ?ree days ( my fa!r's sickness he seem$ to h only a sev]e cold & slightly disord]$ /oma*1 & ?\gh ,i _h call$ ,dr4 ,?axt]1 x 0 m to satisfy him t ! m$ic9e ,i gave 0 necess>y = him1 ?an f any d\bt t ,i c\ld d all t 0 ne$$2 = he _h (t5 appe>$ m sick1 & ,i _h adm9i/]$ to him )\t any advice4 ,on ! morn+ ( ! f\r? he appe>$ to be a little w&]+1 b rema9$ quiet until night1 :5 he 0 v viol5t = two or ?ree h\rs2 & ! foll[+ day ,i 0 told by ! physician t no?+ b a miracle c\ld pres]ve 8 life until ! next morn+4 ,i he>d x calmly1 ,i believe because ,i c\ld n realize x4 ,he did n seem to be consci\s t he 0 sick2 he did all t ,i ask$ him to1 b did n seem to "k me4 ,i soon f\nd t ! doctor's pr$iction 0 b too true1 = symptoms ( decay increas$ v rapidly1 & at ?ree ! next morn+ he brea!d 8 la/1 z a *ild w\ld g to sleep4 ,n a /ruggle indicat$ ! approa* ( ! de/roy]4 ,i held 8 h&1 & gaz$ at him until ,i 0 tak5 f him s5seless4 ,no "o 0 ) me b ,mr4 ,b----1 & ,mr4 ,e----1 8 son-9-law4 ,i recov]$ myself 9 a few mom5ts & f\nd ,mr4 ,e---- fa9t+2 ?is oblig$ me in/antly to r\se myself to action1 :i* 0 all m]cifully dispos$1 & ,i sat d[n quietly ) !m = ! rema9d] ( ! night1 giv+ directions :5 any ?+ pass$ my m9d1 or rema9+ sil5t1 kn[+ all w\ld be done j z ,i wi%$4 ,x w\ld h seem$ dreadful to me _h ,i anticipat$ pass+ ?r\gh su* a sc5e ) only two g5tlem51 :o a few mon?s be=e 7 p]fect /rang]s to me2 b x nev] pass$ my m9d t ,i 0 n ) my ne>e/ fri5ds4 ,i c\ld n 9 volumes tell y ( all _! k9dness4 ,x 0 "o ( ! /rik+ te/imonies ( ,god's m]ciful c>e ( me1 t ,he plac$ me ) !m4 ,inde$1 ,8 goodness t[>ds me has be5 mo/ wond]ful1 & above all1 t ,he has enabl$ me to feel x cont9ually2 ev5 9 ! awful /illness ( t night ,i nev] lo/ sight ( x4 ,i c\ld feel z x 7 ,8 arm b5ea? me2 & ,i c truly say ,i nev] exp]i5c$ t fulness ( heav5ly peace :i* results f undeviat+ confid5ce 9 ,him1 :i* ,i !n did4 ,x 0 an h\r ( peculi> elevation :i* ,i c nev] =get1 & :i* ,i tru/ w ev] be a s\rce ( unfail+ support1 z x mu/ be ( gratitude4 ,:at beside c\ld h su/a9$ me amid/ its horrors8 ,all t ,i c\ld call my own 0 dep>t+ f me1 & ,i 0 /&+ z x 7 alone 9 ! univ]se2 b ,i felt t ,i 0 ! object ( ,8 c>e :o 0 all-suffici5t1 & ,i f\nd 9 t consci\sness a calmness :i* no?+ c\ld move4 ,i /ood firm & erect1 ?\gh ! /orms ( life seem$ to h conc5trat$ _! p[] to ov]?r[ me1 & ,i felt t ! ,p[] :i* enabl$ me to d ?is w\ld nev] =sake me1 = x 0 n my own4 ,we may talk ( ! resolution & =titude :i* "s possess1 b :at w\ld x all be at su* an h\r8 ,no?+1--less ?an no?+4 ,i gave up all reliance ^u myself1 or ,i %\ld h utt]ly fail$4 ,e ?+ 0 direct$ ) ! utmo/ m]cy4 ,ev5 8 unconsci\sness1 :i* ,i ?\ght at fir/ ,i c\ld n be>1 0 a m]cy to him1 = h[ mu* 0 he sp>$ by x2 he c\ld n h left me alone )\t a sev]e /ruggle4 ,i am n[ fix$ = ! w9t]1 & %all soon feel1 ,i d\bt n1 z mu* at home z x is possible = me to feel2 & if ! greate/ k9dness & affection t ev] 7 %[n to any human be+ c make me happy1 ,i %all be s1 = ,i h x4 ,) love1 ,i am y\rs1 ,m4 ,l4 ,p4 ,,vi4 ,,visit ,,abroad4 ,m>y ,pick>d 0 n[ alone4 ,e memb] ( h] own family _h gone1 & %e _h witness$ & smoo!d ! passage ( e "o4 ,%e _h only ent]$ mature life1 b h] tw5ty-five ye>s ( exp]i5ce & *ange _h be5 equal to d\ble t p]iod ( common life4 ,already _h %e le>n$ ! great tru?1 :i* to _m comes late1 if at all1-- ,we live 9 de$s1 n ye>s2 9 ?\ghts1 n brea?s2 ,9 feel+s1 n 9 figures on a dial4 ,h]et(ore %e _h always _h an object to live =1--"s "o dep5d5t ^u h] affection & ex]tions1 to :om x 0 happ9ess en\gh to m9i/]4 ,n[ !re 0 no "o2 & we wond] n t %e said1 ,i seem to hang s loosely on ! _w1 t x is ( little importance :]e ,i am4 ,x 0 inde$ a s+ul> provid5ce :i* at ?is mom5t op5$ to h] an entirely new field1 yet "o :olly cong5ial ) h] ta/es & wi%es4 ,h] only relatives on ! fa!r's side 7 9 ,engl&1 connections :om %e _h se5 only z a *ild tw5ty ye>s be=e1 b _h always hop$ to see aga94 ,& n = h] own gratification only1 b t %e might be ( s]vice1 if possible1 to ^? :o 7 9 depress$ & obscure condition1 z "s ( !m 74 ,?is consid]ation1 :i* w\ld h (f]$ lea/ inducem5t to mo/ "y m9ds1 p]haps h kept !m away1 0 an inc5tive to ,m>y1 & gave h] a "r to f9d 9 ! opportunity a duty z well z a pleasure2 especially z ! occasion giv5 h] 0 itself an opportunity to s]ve an invalid fri5d4 ,! circum/ances w appe> 9 ! foll[+ lett]s to ,miss ,cu%+ & ,mrs4 ,pa9e4 ,bo/on1 ,m>* #h1 #ahbd4 ,,my ,,de> ,,miss ,,cu%+3-- ,if sorr[ = s9 is any gr\nd = =giv5ess1 ,i tru/ y w grant x to me1 = my %ameful neglect ( y4 ,d n ?9k t =getfulness or want ( int]e/ has l$ to ?is2 y "k me1 ,i tru/1 bett] ?an to believe t1 & y "k my faults too well n to be able to acc\nt = x1 f my too deeply root$ habit ( procra/9at+4 ,(t5 dur+ ! pa/ w9t] h ,i ?\ght1 if ,i c\ld only see y1 ,i %\ld be sure to f9d ! guidance & sympa?y :i* ,i h long$ =2 b :5 ,i ?\ght ( writ+ to y1 ,i felt ! selfi%ness ( tr\bl+ y ) my own p]plexities1 kn[+ t1 z my m9d 0 s mu* occupi$ by !m1 ,i c\ld n comp5sate y = x by any o!r communications ,i c\ld make4 ,! la/ six mon?s h inde$ br\ght to me a con/ant /ruggle ( feel+4 ,left z ,i 0 to *oose my own pa? on ! wide ocean ( life1 ) heal?1 /r5g?1 & "s means ( influ5ce1 ! responsibility :i* x impos$ to use to ! be/ possible advantage ! p[]s t ,god _h giv5 me1 to promote ! end = :i* ,i knew !y 7 giv51 0 almo/ ov]p[]+1--& at times ,i w\ld h giv5 myself up will+ly to ! control ( any "o :o w\ld relieve me f ! burd54 ,i h exp]i5c$ 9 s _m /rik+ ways ! great goodness ( ,god 9 giv+ me light to guide1 & /r5g? to su/a9 me 9 h\rs ( trial1 t x is1 ,i "k1 b practical infidelity to d\bt = "o mom5t t 8 protect+ influ5ce w /ill be ext5d$ t[>ds me1 if ,i try my utmo/ to atta9 a k ( duty1 & p]sev]e to my be/ ability 9 ! pa? :i* consci5ce dictates4 ,b ! difficulty is1 t1 ?\gh 9 great ev5ts :]e we see at once t no human p[] c aid u we _c b ackn[l$ge t ,he is suffici5t = all ?+s1 we are too apt to lose sight ( ?is tru? 9 cases 9 :i* human ag5cy mu/ be ex]t$1 =gett+ t ,god is z surely ! op]at+ cause 9 "o case z ! o!r4 ,:5 x appe>s t our fate may be det]m9$ by a s+le ^w :i* we feel ! p[] ( utt]+1 we c sc>cely help ?9k+ t ^u our own heads mu/ be all ! consequ5ces :i* may foll[2 & ?9k+ ?us1 we mu/ realize our weakness & insuffici5cy4 ,all ?is has be5 prey+ ^u my m9d1 & its effects h be5 deplorably contract+ to my ?\ghts4 ,i h1 inde$1 be5 outw>dly mu* occupi$ by v>i\s pursuits1 try+ to d some?+ = o!rs1 b my ?9k+ has be5 ne>ly all = myself4 ,?is is my only excuse = n writ+ y m1 & ,i ?9k ) ?is specim5 y w be satisfi$ t ,i h n be=e attempt$ x4 ,i believe t all ! ev5ts t befall u are exactly su* z are be/ adapt$ to improve u2 & ,i f9d1 9 a p]fect confid5ce 9 ! wisdom & love :i* ,i "k directs !m1 a s\rce ( peace :i* no o!r ?+ c give2 & 9 ! difficulty ,i f9d 9 act+ ^u ?is belief ,i see a weakness ( nature1 :i* ^? v trials are design$ to assi/ u 9 ov]com+1 & :i* trial alone c conqu]4 ,:atev] is 9 /ore = me1 ,i tru/ t ,i %all n =get t ! fir/ & only important object ( exi/5ce is to promote1 z f> z my p[]s may ext5d1 ! cause ( hol9ess4 ,t e "o1 h[ev] humble _! /ation & limit$ _! capacity1 has "s p[] to d ?is1 ,i d\bt n1 z ,i f9d 9 e l9e ( ,god's ^w a comm& to d s2 & ,i pray t my feeble ef=ts may be fully devot$ to ?is end4 99 99 99 99 99 ,m>* #ae4 ,:at *anges a few days may produce 9 "o's prospects6 ,little c\ld ,i ?9k1 a week ago1 t ! conclusion ( ?is lett] 0 to tell y1 t 9 less ?an ano!r week ,i %\ld be float+ on ! va/ ocean1 on my way to ,engl&4 ,b s x is1 & ,i hope t ! sudd5ness ( ! det]m9ation to g has n %ut f my eyes any v important consid]ation aga9/ x4 ,x seems to me l a dream1 = x is only 9 my dreams t ,i h ev] ?\ght ( x z a possibility4 ,i h wi%$ to see my relations !re1 hav+ always kept up a con/ant correspond5ce ) !m1 & felt v mu* int]e/$ 9 !m2 b s9ce my fa!r's dea?1 ,i h view$ ! accompli%m5t ( ?is wi% z an impossibility4 ,b n[ t s good an opportunity has (f]$1 ,i _c hesitate to accept x4 ,i seem to hang s loosely on ! _w1 t x is ( little importance :]e ,i am1 z x reg>ds duties1 & x is an advantage to enl>ge "o's ideas1 :i* ,i feel ought to be improv$4 ,to tell y all t ,i feel at leav+ home w\ld be impossible2 x is a mo/ solemn und]tak+1 & :5 ,i glance at ! possibilities connect$ ) su* a /ep1 x almo/ ov]:elms me4 ,i wi% ,i c\ld see e "o ( y once m4 ,my he>t is inde$ too full to tell y half t ,i wi%4 ,y\rs mo/ affectionately1 ,m4 ,l4 ,p 99 99 99 99 99 ,bo/on1 ,m>* #ac1 #ahbd4 ,,my ,,de> ,n----3 ,i h be5 sitt+ _m m9utes ) my p5 9 my h& & pap] be=e me1 try+ to br+ to myself suffici5t resolution to tell y ! new & surpris+ turn :i* has tak5 place 9 my wayw>d de/9y4 ,i h be5 s long ! creature ( circum/ances t y mu/ be prep>$ = *anges ( all k9ds 9 my lot2 b ,i "k n h[ x w /rike y :5 y le>n = tru?1 t 9 "o week f to-morr[ ,i sail = ,engl&4 ,i ?\ght t ,i 0 entirely will+ to g1 b z ,i f9d myself tell+ y ( x1 & ?9k t x is utt]ly impossible = me to see y aga91 my he>t s9ks )9 me1 & ,i almo/ %r9k f x4 ,9 fact1 ?is is ! fir/ mom5t ,i h realiz$ x4 ,i knew no?+ ( x until ! day be=e ye/]day1 :5 ,edw>d ,robb9s s5t to me1 to say t 8 physicians & fri5ds advis$ 8 tak+ a voyage1 & t1 if ,i c\ld g ) him1 x w\ld decide him to take _! advice4 ,i _h ?\ght ( ! subject s mu*1 t ,i 0 prep>$ at once to answ]4 ,x is a v desirable ?+ = me to visit ! few relations :i* ,i h !re1 & ,i c\ld nev] give up ! expectation & endeavor to accompli% x4 ,my dep5d5t /ate 0 ! only b>ri]1 z ,i c\ld nev] g unless "u ! protection ( "o ( ! few male fri5ds f :om ,i %\ld be will+ to receive su* an obligation1 & x 0 s unlikely t ei!r ( ^? few w\ld ev] ?9k ( go+1 t ,i _h b little hope ,i %\ld ev] realize my wi%es4 ,b ?is proposition at once remov$ all difficulties4 ,our families h be5 s long connect$1 & ,edw>d himself has be5 s p>ticul>ly k9d to me ?r\gh life1 & m ?an ev] s9ce ,i h be5 )\t a p>5t's protection1 & is 9 e respect s exactly calculat$ to make "o feel will+ & happy to be "u obligation1 t ,i c\ld n b feel t n[ 0 ! "t 7if ev]7 = me to accompli% ?is great object4 ,d\bts ab\t ! suffici5cy ( my means1 & "s scruples ab\t my "r to employ !m 9 ?is way1 made me hesitate a few h\rs2 b 9 less ?an f\r ,i decid$1 ) ! advice ( all :om x 0 necess>y to consult1 t x 0 "r to improve ! pres5t1 z all future opportunities 7 unc]ta94 ,t x co/ me a deep inw>d /ruggle to make my feel+s acquiesce1 y w n d\bt4 ,! fir/ day ,i felt l a *ild4 ,i c\ld n glance ev5 at ! reasons :i* favor$ my go+ )\t sad & ov]p[]+ retrospection1 & ! ?\ght ( ! unc]ta9ty ( ! result1 ! ?\s& possibilities involv$ 9 su* a *ange1 almo/ turn$ my bra92 & yet e "o 0 wond]+ h[ ,i c\ld look s compos$ & keep s /ill4 ,x is s+ul> h[ mu* little ?+s sometimes concur to aid u4 ,x 0 ,?ursday1 & ,i 0 j go+ to lecture1 z ,mr4 ,robb9s came 9 ) 8 proposal4 ,i w5t /ill1 & ,mr4 ,walk] gave u "o ( ! mo/ delightful1 /r5g!n+ s]mons ^u ! influ5ce ( ! ,_s1 & ! all-suffici5cy ( tru/ 9 its guidance1 t ,i ev] he>d 9 my life4 ,i believe no o!r subject c\ld h fix$ my att5tion1 & x did fix x mo/ effectually4 ,i "k x is utt]ly impossible t ,i %\ld see y1 !re=e ,i w n dwell = a mom5t on ! ?\ght4 ,i h1 ( c\rse1 a great deal to ?9k ab\t1 al?\gh little p]sonal prep>ation2 b ,i mu/ leave e ?+ 9 :i* ,i h ! lea/ conc]n j z ,i %\ld wi% if ,i 0 c]ta9 ,i %\ld nev] return4 ,god only kn[s :at ! future w br+ to me1 b ,i hope to f9d myself :olly will+ to yield myself to ! disposal ( 8 provid5ce4 ,we ?9k ( ^! *anges = o!rs1 & feel little d\bt ab\t _! safety1 b :5 ! case becomes our own1 x is ano!r ?+4 ,to emb>k on ! wide ocean 9 a little1 frail vessel ) p]fect calmness1 requires a firmness ( fai? ( :i* no "o c boa/ until !y h /ood ! te/4 ,i h no fe> ( x n[1 & ,i tru/ ,i %all f9d t ! gr\nd ( confid5ce 9 ! all-p[]ful ,god1 :i* ! exp]i5ce ( my life has giv5 me1 w be suffici5t to support me 9 all ev5ts4 ,i am will+ to be put to ! te/1 = if all t ,i ?9k ,i feel is b delusion1 ,i _h bett] discov] ! delusion be=e x is too late4 ,we h tak5 passage 9 ! ,em]ald4 ,if ,i feel alone "h1 ,i don't "k :at ,i %all d 9 a l& ( /rang]s4 ,we g to ,liv]pool1 & probably imm$iately to ,london f !re4 ,i g ) v mod]ate hopes ab\t see+ ! wond]s & beauties4 ,i mu/ be satisfi$ ) see+ p1 n ?+s4 ,i %all h no "r to travel mu*1 & %all h no advantages n common to ! mo/ insignificant2 nev]!less1 if ,i c atta9 my pr9cipal object1 all ! re/ w be unexpect$ ga94 ,x is mo/ probable we %all be gone a ye>1 b x is possible we may return 9 ! fall4 ,:at a v>iety = "o poor s\l 9 ! la/ f\r mon?s6 ,x absolutely makes me giddy to ?9k ( x all4 ,b :at a s\rce ( com=t is x1 t 9 all ?+s ,i h s\ght guidance :]e ,i believe x is ev] freely giv52 & ,i d believe1 :atev] is ! ev5t ( all ?is1 x mu/ be ! direction ( ,him :o kn[s & gov]ns all ?+s ,i mu/ n write m4 ,y\rs mo/ affectionately1 ,m4 ,l4 ,p4 ,a p>ticul> fri5d 9 ,milton1 "o ( ! true/ & noble/ fri5ds t ,m>y or any "o ev] _h1 describes h] z at ?is "t worn to ! bone ) c>e & trial2 & !n breaks =? 9 praise ( h]1 9 unmeasur$ t]ms2 add+1 ,yet1 ) all ?is sup]iority1 :]e is ! o!r be+ on :om any poor fool c repose ) su* tru/ & confid5ce1 z on h]8 ,my meane/ ?\ght is n *eck$ 9 ! utt]ance1 because h] m9d is s flexible x /oops to ! l[e/4 ,i am only afraid ( ador+ h]1 s ,i may z well hold my peace4 ,?is 0 said 9 e>ne/1 & is "o ( _m expressions ( admiration & affection call$ out by h] dep>ture4 ,( h] progress & occupations abroad1 our k is drawn exclusively f h] own lett]s4 ,^!1 !re=e1 we %all use freely1 leav+ !m to %[ _! connection z f> z !y c1 & make _! own impression2 begg+ ! read] to rememb]1 h[ev]1 t !y 7 all writt5 9 ! ha/e ( travell+ or ! fatigues ( wat*+1 & t _! lit]>y m]it or public appe>ance 0 ! la/ ?\ght to occur to ! m9d ( ! writ]4 ,%e wrote a great deal1 & we conf9e our selection *iefly to passages relat+ to p]sonal exp]i5ce1 r ?an descriptions ( places or works ( art4 ,= ^! la/ %e all[$ h]self little "t1 ?\gh ke5ly alive to ! enjoym5t ( all gr&eur & beauty1 & giv+ pass+ indications ( h] p[] ( appreciat+ & del9eat+4 ,arriv+ 9 ,liv]pool 9 ,april1 %e 0 made to feel at home imm$iately1 by ! k9dness & sympa?y ( a k9dr$ m9d1 9 "o to :om ,dr4 ,*ann+ _h giv5 h] a lett]1 & ^: "n & sad fate are famili> to _m1--,mrs4 ,freme1 daught] ( ! ,rev4 ,dr4 ,wells1 :o settl$ 9 ,brattleboro'1 ,v]mont1 :]e %e aft]w>d p]i%$ by fire4 ,m>y's acc\nt ( h] int]view ) t excell5t woman is *>act]i/ic1 z h] fir/ int]e/ 9 a new c\ntry4 ,london1 ,april #ai1 #ahbd4 ,9 ,liv]pool1 ,i w5t ) ,mrs4 ,freme to visit ! ,female ,p5it5ti>y1 & took a long walk ) h]4 ,%e _h rel9qui%$ an engagem5t out ( t[n to g ) me1 & ,i "k n t ,i ev] felt m grateful to a /rang] 9 my life4 ,%e is an uncommonly s5sible1 k9d woman1 extremely int]e/$ 9 ! enc\ragem5t ( all good works1 a w>m ,unit>ian1 & a truly lib]al1 b5evol5t ,*ri/ian4 ,i nev] enjoy$ any ?+ 9 my life m ?an ! conv]sation ,i _h ) h]4 ,i _h begun to feel ! want ( t free int]c\rse ^u ^? subjects ^u :i* we c speak only to ^? :o we are sure are equally int]e/$ 9 !m2 & 9 a /range l&1 to meet ) "o :o n only ent]$ fully into e ?+ ,i wi%$ to say1 b c>ri$ me on to high]1 m improv+ & elevat$ ?\ghts1 0 inde$ a privilege4 99 99 99 99 99 ,london1 ,may #f1 #ahbd4 ,,my ,,de> ,,ann3-- ,x 0 a great deprivation to me to be unable to write at sea4 ,i hop$ to h _h a l>ge packet = ! _m k9d fri5ds :o aid$ & bless$ my dep>ture1 express+ some?+ ( ! gratitude :i* ov]p[]$ me4 ,i h sometimes fe>$ t y ?\ght me ins5sible to x all1 = ,i d>$ n try to utt] ev5 a ^w ( :at ,i felt le/ ,i %\ld lose my self-possession entirely1 & tr\ble !m m ?an my ?anks w\ld please !m4 ,god alone kn[s h[ fully ,i appreciat$ x all1 & :5 ,i look back ^u ! p]iod :i* elaps$ aft] my fa!r's dea? until ,i left y1 ,i "k n h[ to speak my a/oni%m5t t su* a "o z myself %\ld h be5 s signally favor$4 ,= y\r ,aunt ,nancy ,i c only say h] rew>d mu/ be beyond ?is _w2 no?+ t ,i or any "o "h c d1 is adequate to x4 ,nev] 0 a human be+ s bless$ ) k9d fri5ds1 & c\ld ,i feel t ,i _h be5 z grateful z ,i ought to h be51 ,i %\ld be happy4 ,b ! entire absorption ( e ?\ght 9 self1 dur+ ! pa/ w9t]1 is n[ a subject ( mu* reproa*4 ,i _h "t to ?9k ( all ?is dur+ ! long days & wakeful nights on ! voyage1 & ,i d assure y ,i took a new view ( e ?+ connect$ ) x4 ,:e!r x 0 ! abs5ce ( e ?+ else to int]e/ my m9d1 or ! natural increase ( our atta*m5t to all objects :5 we are go+ f !m1 ,i "k n1 b !re 7 mom5ts ( acute agony1 :5 ,i ?\ght ( ! return ,i _h made = ! k9dness manife/$ t[>ds me4 ,h[ (t5 ,i long$ to be = a little "t on ! little /ool 9 ! draw+-room1 giv+ utt]ance to my _s6 ,!re 0 s little 9 ! monotony ( sea-life to int]rupt ! tra9 ( "o's ?\ghts1 t ,i c\ld n sometimes get rid ( an idea :i* possess$ me1 & ,i (t5 woke up1 we>i$ ) ! cont9uation ( "o & ! same dream1 night aft] night4 ,b ,i did enjoy a great deal at sea1 !re 0 s mu* to elevate ! m9d 9 ! v situation2 & ! want ( confid5ce :i* ,i felt f ! fir/ ev5+ 9 ! head ( ! conc]n t5d$ mo/ p[]fully to raise my ?\ghts above all second causes1 to ! ,"o ,great ,cause & ,support] ( all ?+s4 ,nev] did ,i s deeply feel our entire dep5d5ce ^u ! p[] ( ,god1 nev] did ,i s fully realize ! impot5ce ( human skill1 z :5 ,i saw x cont5d+ ) ! w9ds2 & yet !re 0 some?+ ennobl+ 9 ! idea1 t human skill _h contriv$ & taught to guide su* a vehicle z a %ip ^u ! trackless wa/e ( wat]s2 & :ile we trace all ?is p[] to ! orig9al s\rce ( x1 we _c b feel t ,he has giv5 to u a noble nature4 ,(t5 :5 ! sea 0 ris+ 9 imm5se waves on e side1 & ! %ip toss$ ab\t z ?\gh x 7 b a little %ell :i* ! wat]s w\ld soon ov]:elm1 h ,i felt z ,i nev] be=e did ! imm5se value ( t religion :i* 0 able to calm all fe>s1 & raise ! m9d to a /ate ev5 ( enjoym5t1 "u su* t]rific circum/ances4 ,:at b a firm confid5ce t1 :e!r we live or die1 or :atev] ev5t befall u1 x is 9 ,inf9ite ,wisdom t x is s1 c give ?is composure8 ,%all we n !n hold fa/ & *]i% su* a fai?8 %all we n seek to und]/& its nature1 & endeavor ) our :ole he>ts to +raft its pr9ciples ^u our *>act]s8 ,tell me z mu* ab\t ,mr4 ,*ann+ & 8 s]mons z y c4 ,i w5t to *apel on ,sunday ) ,mrs4 ,k9d]1 b he>d v poor prea*+1 to v poor h\ses4 ,b ,mr4 ,*ann+ told me j :at to expect1 !re=e ,i 0 prep>$ = x4 ,poor z x 01 h[ev]1 ! delight ( f9d+ myself once m 9 a place ( public wor%ip ov]balanc$ all1 & :5 ,i he>d ! same tunes sung to ! same words :i* ,i _h he>d 9 ,f$]al ,/reet1 x 0 a little m ?an ,i c\ld be> firmly4 ,i am *>m$ ) ! :ole ,k9d] family2 !y are too lit]>y to make me feel able to communicate ! lea/ pleasure1 on acc\nt ( my ignorance ^u all lit]>y subjects1 b !y are e ?+ t is k9d1 & v agreeable1 & ,i f9d a good lesson = my humility :5 ,i am !re4 ,,m>y4 99 99 99 99 99 ,london1 ,may #bf1 #ahbd4 ,,my ,,de> ,,fri5ds3-- ,= ! fir/ f\r weeks ,i resi/$ all ! entreaties ( my c\s9s to g to !m1 because ,dr4 ,r---- 0 s depress$ & ill1 & x 0 s bad = ,mrs4 ,r---- to be left alone4 ,b ! ?ird week ,dr4 ,r---- improv$ v mu* 9 heal?1 & some:at 9 spirits4 ,& ?\gh he (f]$ me _m great inducem5ts to accompany !m to ,leam+ton1 ,i c\ld n ?9k x q "r to d s1 z my society w\ld n be z necess>y to !m z x _h be51 & !y 7 go+ to a fa%ionable wat]+-place4 ,i _h se5 no?+ ( my own fri5ds1 & z ,mrs4 ,bates & ,mrs4 ,morton _h ask$ me to /ay ) !m :5 ,i fir/ arriv$1 ,i took ! lib]ty ( accept+ _! invitation = a few days4 ,i believe ,i told y ,i _h a k9d lett] f ,uncle ,b51 & h s9ce _h a visit f 8 son1 :o he>d ( our arrival1 & came up ! next day1 9 true ,lovell /yle1 to take me home ) him to ,wal?am ,abbey1 ne> ,enfield4 ,?r\gh ! k9dness ( ,mr4 ,k9d]'s family ,i h _h _m privileges4 ,by _! int]cession ,i h be5 admitt$ to ,newgate1 & ?\gh ,mrs4 ,fry 0 n !re1 ,i 0 v mu* gratifi$4 ,i met ) a "y ,quak]ess1 :o 0 r h&some1 0 v intellig5t & k9d1 & has be5 v att5tive to me4 ,mrs4 ,fry is too mu* out ( heal? to g (t51 b ,i am to be in=m$ by my little fri5d :5 %e next goes4 ,walk+ to ,new+ton ) ! ,k9d]s1 to return a call1 !y ask$ me if ,i w\ld g ) !m to see ,mrs4 ,b>bauld4 ,to be sure1 x made my he>t beat1 b ,i c\ld n say no4 ,x 0 inde$ a privilege1 & ,i wi% ,i c\ld tell y all ab\t x4 ,%e spoke ) great feel+ ( ^? ( our m9i/]s :om %e _h se51--,buckm9/]1 ,?a*]1 & ,*ann+4 ,hav+ nev] se5 ,mr4 ,?a*]'s s]mons1 ,i _h ! honor ( s5d+ !m to h]1 & ( writ+ h] a note4 ,a note to ,mrs4 ,b>bauld6 ,:at presumption6 ,yet ,i 0 ask$ aft]w>d to d9e ) h]4 ,%e is rem>kably bright = h] age1 speaks ( dea? ) ! firme/ hope1 & ,i really felt z if ,i 7 commun+ ) a spiritual body4 ,?\gh n[ eighty-two1 %e possesses all h] faculties 9 full p]fection4 ,h] mann] is peculi>ly g5tle1 h] voice l[1 & v sweet4 ,i w5t ) ! ,k9d]s to see "s ri* ,quak]s1 :o are v active 9 ! s*ool conc]n1 & also to a meet+ ( ! ,briti% & ,=eign ,s*ool ,society1 :]e ,i saw ! ,duke ( ,sussex1 & he>d "s f9e speak+4 ,!y g ^u ! ,lanca/] & ,bell sy/em1 & truly wond]ful is _! success & usefulness4 ,i h he>d ,madame ,catalani1 & "s ( ! f9e/ s+]s1 at a conc]t at ! ,op]a ,h\se1 & 0 z mu* amaz$ z x 0 possible to be1 not)/&+ all ,i _h he>d4 ,b "s ( ^? ) less p[] pleas$ me m4 ,no "o c equal h]1 or be comp>$ ) h]4 ,braham sung ) h]1 ) a full b&1 & h] voice 0 he>d above all2 x is trem5d\s1 = ! h\se is imm5se1 & %e entirely fill$ x4 ,at a meet+ ( ! ,sons ( ! ,cl]gy at ,/4 ,paul's1 ,i he>d "s v f9e sacr$ music4 ,ab\t ?irty little boys sang ! high p>ts1 & *ant$ ! responses4 ,! *ur* 0 v full4 ,! ,duke ( ,cl>5ce1 ,"l ,mayor1 & a goodly company ( ! dignit>ies ( ! ,*ur*1 fill$ ! seats ( honor4 ,no?+ c\ld be m solemn ?an ! :ole sc5e1 & :5 at p>ts ( ! s]vice ! :ole congregation jo9$ 9 ! *ant1 ! dome rung ) ! s\nd1 & "o almo/ look$ to see if ! /atues ar\nd 7 n r\s$4 ,d y fe> t my head is gr[+ giddy1 ) all ?is v>iety8 ,at pres5t !re is no dang]4 ,my ?\ghts turn too (t5 homew>d1 to be v mu* engross$ by any ?+ "h1 & my he>t w feel sad :5 ,i ?9k ( ! "t :i* mu/ elapse ere ,i see x aga94 99 99 99 99 99 ,broadwat]1 ,wor?+1 ,june #aa1 #ahbd4 ,,my ,,de> ,,c\s93-- ,on ,saturday1 ! #bi?1 ,i receiv$ a lett] f ,dr4 ,r---- say+ t ,leam+ton did n agree ) him1 t ,mrs4 ,r---- 0 q unwell1 & !y begg$1 if possible1 t ,i w\ld come to !m ! next day1 ) "s plan ( proce$+ = !m1 = he felt :olly unable to decide :at to d4 ,aft] "s debate ) ,mrs4 ,s---- ,i conclud$ t x 0 a duty to give up all my own views1 & d :at ,i c\ld = him1 z !re 0 no "o else :o c\ld assi/ !m 9 ?is l& ( /rang]s4 ,accord+ly ,i wrote him t ,i w\ld jo9 !m on ,tuesday1 z x 0 n 9 my p[] to make su* an entire *ange 9 my arrangem5ts be=e4 ,i _h j prep>$ on ,monday to />t1 :5 ano!r lett] arriv$1 say+ !y %\ld be 9 ,london at night4 ,we propose go+ f "h to ! ,isle ( ,wight1 & r\nd to ! we/]n "p ( ,engl&1 ,bri/ol1 ,ba?1 & ,wales4 ,i hope on ! way to h a peep at ,mrs4 ,mc,adam1 :o is n[ at ,plym\?1 = x is r tantaliz+ = u to be kept s long sep>at$4 ,i w\ld n h believ$ t any ?+ w\ld h kept me s long f my fri5ds aft] ,i _h f\nd myself 9 ,engl&4 ,b x is well to be oblig$ to control our selfi%ness 9 ,engl&1 z else:]e4 ,! little ,i h se5 ( my relations has only increas$ my desire to "k !m & be lov$ by !m4 ,my reception at ,uncle ,b5's 0 m l t :i* ,i hope to h at home1 ?an any ?+ ,i c\ld h expect$ 9 ?is /range l&4 ,he is a w>m-he>t$ old man1 ) all ! be/ ( ! ,lovell feel+s 9 full vigor4 ,he 0 v mu* atta*$ to my "m1 & reta9s a /rong] int]e/ 9 8 ,transatlantic relations ?an ,i c\ld h ?\ght possible aft] an abs5ce ( fifty ye>s4 ,he 0 v mu* ov]come at see+ me1 & wept ov] me l a *ild4 ,!y dem& ?ree mon?s1 at lea/1 f me1 b ,i am afraid ,i %all n h half t "t = !m4 ,y don't "k h[ delightful x 0 to be among p :o seem$ s l my own home fri5ds4 99 99 99 99 99 ,broadwat]1 ,june #aa1 #ahbd4 ,,my ,,de> ,,ann3-- ,y h be5 sorely afflict$ inde$1 d\btless = "s good purpose4 ,i am rejoic$ to f9d by y\r lett] t y are dispos$ to view x s1 & improve by ! *a/isem5t4 ,i hope x w lead ! way to a m free communication ) our good m9i/]4 ,x is a great privilege1 & "o :i* ought to be improv$4 ,i h le>n$ s9ce ,i h be5 "h to e/imate our advantages 9 ?is & all o!r religi\s affairs1 z ,i c\ld nev] h done at home4 ,9 ,london1 x seems to me t !re is no m connection betwe5 m9i/] & p1 9 ! ,e/abli%$ ,*ur*1 ?an if !y _h no influ5ce :atev] to ex]cise2 & among ! ,diss5t]s ,i h met )1 ! case is n mu* bett]4 ,!y are s scatt]$1 & w&] ab\t s mu*1 t x is difficult to h mu* int]c\rse1 or keep up mu* int]e/ among !m4444 ,i h he>d b "o s]mon s9ce ,i h be5 9 ?is c\ntry :i* made ! lea/ impression ^u my m9d1 & t 0 f "o f :om ,i expect$ no?+ t w\ld satisfy me4 ,?is 0 ,mr4 ,irv+1 :om ,mr4 ,*ann+ m5tion$ z ! popul> favorite 9 ,london4 ,he is a mo/ s+ul>-look+ ,scot*man1 a pupil ( ,dr4 ,*alm]s1 & n[ s mu* ! fa%ion1 t tickets ( admission are sold1 to enable ^? :o wi% to he> him to g 9 be=e ! h\r :5 ! doors are ?r[n op54 ,ev5 9 ?is way x is l ! !atre ( a ,kean night1 & = two h\rs be=e ! s]vice comm5ces ! cr[d is imm5se4 ,8 mann] is v l ,kean's1 mo/ impassion$1 & :5 he comm5c$ ,i turn$ f him 9 disgu/4 ,b !re 0 t 9 ! subject & sub/ance ( ! s]mon :i* made me =get ! mann] 9 :i* x 0 deliv]$4 ,x 01 ,i und]/ood1 "o ( ! lea/ fl[]y ( 8 productions4 ,i %all nev] =get x1 ,i ?9k2 b ,i w\ld n be oblig$ to g to su* a place = ! be/ s]mons t ev] 7 writt54 ,x 0 j l ! !atre or "s great exhibition4 ,y _c ?9k h[ ,i long1 :5 ! ,sabba? comes r\nd1 to h an e> 9 ,f$]al ,/reet4 ,i f9d1 z ,mr4 ,*ann+ w>n$ me1 t travell+ is a sad enemy to ! cultivation ( religi\s k & improvem5t2 x does s d]ange ! regul>ity ( "o's habits ( ?9k+ & act+4 ,! day is too confus$1 & ! nights too we>i$4 ,b !re is mu* 9 ! exp]i5ce ( e day to excite a /rong s5se ( gratitude to t ,provid5ce ^: c>e is ext5d$ ov] u 9 all places2 9 ! consci\sness :i* we mu/ h1 ev5 :5 ! idea ( sep>ation f ^? we love presses mo/ heavily ^u u1 t !re is ,"o1 ev] pres5t1 ^: love = u is inf9ite4 ,yet x is n ( feel+s t ,i ought to speak2 ,i c\ld fill volumes ) ! v>iety ( ?\ghts :i* e day sugge/s1 b ,i am le>n+ to d )\t ! communication ( !m4 ,f ,broadwat] ! p>ty ( f\r w5t to ! ,isle ( ,wight1 & made ! usual circuit1 9 _! little op5 c>riage1 ?r\gh t *>m+ region1 ) no?+ want+ b heal?1 & ) t defici5cy all 0 a blank4 ,dr4 ,r---- 0 too unwell to enjoy any ?+1 & ,m>y h]self1 = a wond]1 speaks ( suff]+ f a c\gh :i* %e _h _h a mon?4 ,b x did n prev5t h] f mak+ :at %e calls a break-neck excursion up a precipice ( ab\t f\r hundr$ feet1 at ! s\!rn "p ( ! isl&4 ,( ! c\ntry %e gives a gl[+ description1 = :i* we h n room4 ,on leav+ ! isl&1 ,dr4 ,r---- f\nd x necess>y to return to ,broadwat] = m$ical advice1 & ,m>y1 :o _h arrang$ to meet "s ( h] relations at ,plym\? at ?is "t1 readily1 ?\gh n )\t regret1 gave up h] own plans1 & w5t back ) ! family to ,broadwat]4 ,! place _h little int]e/ = h]1 & %e writes ( useless idl5ess z a new ?+ to h]1 & uncom=table4 ,b o!rs did n ?9k h] pres5ce useless1 nor did %e fail to f9d employm5t4 ,f ! wife ( ! cl]gyman1 :o _h lately e/abli%$ s*ools 9 ! p>i% on a new plan1 %e le>n$ a good deal ( ! national sy/em ( education4 ,aft] a %ort "t1 ,dr4 ,r---- det]m9$ to g to ,p>is1 & %e accompani$ him4 ,b ( ,p>is itself %e saw v little1 be+ *iefly devot$ to ! c>e ( h] fri5d4 ,& except = him1 %e _h no wi% to be !re4 ,x may seem /range1 %e writes1 t ,i %\ld n wi% to see ,p>is1 b ! pleasure ( e ?+ dep5ds ^u ! circum/ances :i* imm$iately surr\nd u4 ,yet ,i am v glad ,i came1 =1 ?\gh ,i _c be ( mu* use1 any "o is bett] ?an none4 ,_! /ay 9 ,p>is 0 %ort4 ,9 view ( all consid]ations1 ,dr4 ,r---- f\nd x be/ to return at once to ,am]ica1 & sail$ t same mon? f ,havre1 ,m>y rema9+ to make h] visit to h] fri5ds 9 ,engl&4 ,h] next lett]s are f ,*a?am4 ,*a?am1 ,septemb] #g1 #ahbd4 ,,my ,,de> ,,ann3-- ,y may easily suppose t my s5sations at leav+ ,havre 7 n ! mo/ *e]+4 ,i knew t ,i c\ld h be5 ( b little com=t to our fri5ds on ! voyage1 b ,i c\ld n help wi%+ t x _h be5 s ord]$ t ,i might h return$ ) !m4 ,!re 0 some?+1 too1 s v lonely 9 ! idea ( be+ left 9 a /range l&1 ) no *ance ( escape = a c]ta9 l5g? ( "t1 ev5 if my fri5ds %\ld take x into _! heads to dislike me2 & worse ?an all1 "u my own sole direction1 to gov]n myself & my actions only by my own judgm5t4 ,inde$1 ,i did feel z ?\gh ,i %\ld almo/ %r9k f ! ef=t x requir$2 b ?is did n tr\ble me long4 ,i ?\ght ( ! m]cies ( my pa/ life1 ! great goodness & pres]v+ c>e :i* _h hi!rto upheld me 9 _m times ( dang] & difficulty4 ,! night 0 a mo/ beautiful "o1 & ! v motion ( ! little vessel recall$ s mu* :i* _h once giv5 me support "u simil> circum/ances1 t my m9d seem$ to acquire a degree ( calmness & firmness :i* 0 almo/ sublime4 ,= ?is ,i h great cause ( gratitude2 x 0 ! gift ( a ,p[] mighti] ?an ,i1 & prep>$ me = ! com+ dang]4 ,we 7 two nights & a day cross+ to ,s\?ampton1 ab\t twice ! usual l5g? ( ! passage1 ! great] "p ( ! "t 9 a viol5t /orm & mo/ dang]\s situation4 ,i suff]$ m f sickness ?an 9 cross+ ! ,atlantic1 b met ) v great att5tion f ! ladies :o 7 9 ! same /ate-room1 & mu* ent]ta9m5t beside2 b ,i nev] 0 m rejoic$ ?an :5 ,i f\nd myself 9 a clean b$ on t]ra firma1 ^u ! second morn+4 ,my fir/ attempt at j\rney+ alone 0 a v enc\rag+ "o4 ,a good old cl]gyman 0 my companion1 & aft] ?ree weeks 9 ,france1 ,i assure y1 ,i enjoy$ any ?+ l s]i\s conv]sation2 ?\gh he happ5$ to be a ,me?odi/1 he 0 a rational & le>n$ "o1 & ,i believe ,i le>n$ mu* t 0 useful f him4 ,i _h appris$ my good c\s9 ( my int5d$ desc5t ^u h] family1 & 0 receiv$ ) op5 arms & mu* k9d greet+ by all h] flock4 ,"h ,i am1 !n1 at la/1 & ,i "k y are impati5t to "k all ab\t !m1 & ! place 9 :i* !y live4 ,mrs4 ,s---- is 9 appe>ance b ! %ad[ ( :at %e 0 :5 h] picture 0 tak54 ,tr\ble & age h made h] ?9 & pale4 ,b ! p]fect symmetry ( h] pretty little figure1 & ! brightness ( h] /ill beautiful eyes1 enable "o to see 9 h] ! rema9s ( "o ( nature's faire/ works4 ,h] naturally good spirits are almo/ :olly subdu$ by ! trials & p]plexities :i* h foll[$ h] 9 con/ant succession = _m ye>s1 & ill heal? & an anxi\s m9d h creat$ a disposition to despond5cy :i* ev5 h] piety _c at all times ov]come4 ,?is has unfitt$ h] = great ex]tion1 &1 n possess+ mu* natural =ce ( "*1 x is impossible = h] to make mu* ef=t ev5 = h]self4 ,%e is all g5tl5ess1 & full ( affectionate feel+1 & ,i (t5 ?9k1 9 look+ at h] 9 h] happie/ mom5ts1 t %e w\ld be a good p]sonification ( ,%akspe>e's ,pati5ce smil+ at ,grief4 ,h] situation "h is t ( matron to ! hospital1 b x is almo/ a nom9al (fice1 a p]fect s9ecure1 = %e has sc>cely any duty1 & a com=table income4 ,%e is n[ peculi>ly tri$1 & seems to consid] x an especial m]cy t %e has "o to :om %e c turn 9 h] lonel9ess ) some?+ l a claim = sympa?y4 444 ,!re is a small ,unit>ian *apel "h1 & c\s9 ,n---- w say1 ',:y d y n g to t8' ,m]ely because ,i f\nd out b ye/]day t !re 0 su* an "o2 he>+ a lady say1 ',we ought to tol]ate all d5om9ations b ^? dang]\s enemies to religion1 ! ,unit>ians1--,i _c pass _! *apel )\t %udd]+1'--next ,sunday ,i %all endeavor to asc]ta9 ! gr\nds ( ?is pi\s hatr$4 ,b 9 tru?1 if ,i _h n le>n$ lib]ality be=e1 ,i h _h exp]i5ce en\gh to tea* x to me s9ce ,i h be5 9 ?is c\ntry1 ,i h met ) s _m good ,*ri/ians1 ( su* a v>iety ( sects2 & f\nd t ! bond ( union creat$ by a mutual desire to aid 9 ! cause ( b5evol5ce 0 suffici5t to excite int]e/1 )\t any reg>d to diff]5t cre$s or doctr9al po9ts4 ,i am con/antly he>+ n[ f all my little circle ( relations1 :o seem det]m9$ to prev5t my feel+ alone1 if _! att5tions c prev5t x4 ,d n suspect me ( vanity 9 m5tion+ all ^! att5tions2 ?is is n ! case1 = ! effect is r humbl+1 & ,i fe> :5 !y "k me bett] !y w f9d a poor return = x all2 b ,i d feel su* gratitude = s _m unlook$ =1 undes]v$ bless+s1 t ,i want y all to "k x1 t y too may unite ) me 9 ?anksgiv+ to ,god = 8 wat*ful c>e ( me1 a solit>y orphan 9 a =eign l&4 99 99 99 99 99 ,septemb] #ad4 ,! day aft] ,i wrote ! above1 ,i receiv$ a lett] f ,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,c----1 !n at ,ramsgate1 a t[n ^u ! ea/]n %ore ( ,k5t1 say+ t !y 7 mak+ a %ort t\r1 & _h int5d$ com+ to ,*a?am to see me on _! way home1 b ?9k+ ,i might l to see ,dov] & its ca/le1 propos$ t ,i %\ld jo9 !m !re1 & pass a few days ) !m4 ,s1 )\t hesitation1 ,i got into "o ( ! _m coa*es :i* daily pass ?r\gh ,*a?am1 & 9 six h\rs 0 ) !m4 ,! ride 0 delightful1 ?r\gh a ri*ly wood$ & highly cultivat$ c\ntry1 ! f9e old city ( ,cant]bury1 & a numb] ( pretty t[ns4 ,my companions 9 ! coa* 7 v g5teel1 intellig5t p1 & ,i 0 q pleas$ ) f9d+ t x 0 a v cu/om>y ?+ = a lady to travel inside a coa* )\t escort2 ,i wi%$ x 7 equally s to travel outside1 ,i d s mu* pref] to see all ,i c4 ,?is 0 on ,?ursday la/1 ! #i?1 & ,i rema9$ ) !m until to-day1 receiv+ e att5tion & k9dness f !m1 & mu* satisfaction f see+ ! place4444 ,i return$ "h to-day4 ,my c\s9 0 to h met me at ,cant]bury1 b 0 prev5t$ by ! wea!r4 ,i rode ! great] "p ( ! way alone1 inside1 ?\gh ! outside 0 full2 & y may tell ,m>y t my ?\ghts 7 (t5 turn$ to h]2 = a guidebo>d ) ! "n ( ',milton' ^u x rem9d$ me ( my %ameful neglect ( our sweet tune ( t "n4 ,i _h n once sung x s9ce ,i left h]1 & f\nd full employm5t = "s miles 9 try+ to br+ x to m9d2 & x 0 n until aft] recall+ h] looks & voice1 & beat+ ?ree /rokes 9 a b>1 ov] & ov] aga91 to try ! p[] ( association1 t ,i c\ld br+ x to my recollection4 ,b ,i sung x en\gh1 :5 ,i did get x1 to make up = all pa/ defici5cies4 ,x c>ri$ me back to la/ w9t]1 & all y\r happy family1 s fully1 t my empty coa* 0 soon peopl$1 & ,i _h z pleasant a ride z ne$ be4 ,i _h ! gratification ( see+ ! fam\s actress1 ,mrs4 ,siddons1 at ,dov]1--a r>e sight inde$2 %e is a wond]fully h&some woman = h] age1 liv+ 9 elegant retirem5t1 9 h&some /yle4 ,,m>y4 99 99 99 99 99 ,*a?am1 ,octob] #d1 #ahbd4 ,,my ,,de> ,,c\s93-- ,i am delight$ t ,mr4 ,gannett pleases y all1 & to he> su* good acc\nts ( ,mr4 ,*ann+4 ,! v idea ( a lett] f him 0 almo/ too mu* = my poor bra92 ! reality w\ld ov]p[] me1 ,i believe4 ,i greatly fe>1 unless ! spr+ %\ld br+ me "s k9d ,am]ican fri5d ) :om ,i c travel1 t ,i %all see little m ( ,engl&4 ,b ,i w be satisfi$1 at any rate1 if ,i c b f9d ! means ( see+ my poor aunt ,s----4 ,! return ( ?is season br+s s =cibly to my m9d ! recollection ( ! try+ ev5ts ( :i* x is ! anniv]s>y1 t ,i f9d x difficult to prev5t myself f dwell+ too mu* ^u x4 ,i w\ld n lose ! remembrance ( x1 = e h\r ( t "t 0 fill$ ) valuable exp]i5ce ( ! goodness & lov+-k9dness ( my ,heav5ly ,fa!r4 ,i love to dwell ^u x1 & recall e act ( ! _m fri5ds :o !n surr\nd$ me ) r5ew$ feel+s ( gratitude t[>ds !m4 ,may ,i yet be enabl$ to prove 9 my actions :at ,i _c express 9 words4 ,,m>y4 ,m>y ,pick>d is n[ among h] k9dr$1 ^? relatives ( h] fa!r :om %e _h s long desir$ to "k1 & :om %e hop$ 9 "s way to b5efit4 ,= h] idea ( conf]r+ b5efits 0 nev] def9$ by ! ?\ght ( weal?1 or exclud$ by ! want ( x4 ,t %e gave mo/ lib]ally1 accord+ to h] means1 at ?is v "t1 we le>n f o!rs2 h] lett]s w\ld nev] sugge/ x4 ,9 o!r & bett] ways1 by mo/ unexpect$ opportunities1 did %e r5d] s]vice to _m be=e %e left ,engl&1 :]e h] /ay 0 greatly prolong$ beyond ! fir/ int5tion1 = ?is v purpose4 ,= t5 weeks %e rema9$ 9 ,*a?am2 & ?\gh %e does n say x1 we inf] f o!r intimations t mu* ( t "t 0 occupi$ ) ! c>e ( ! sick1 or 9 reliev+ "s k9d ( tr\ble4 ,x is 9 ref]5ce to ,*a?am t %e says1 ,i am fat$ to f9d tr\ble :]ev] ,i g1--:i* is true ( all :o are will+ to take tr\ble1 t !y may relieve o!rs4 ,f ,*a?am ,m>y w5t to ,wal?am ,abbey1 & pass$ ?ree weeks ) ! son ( ! only surviv+ bro!r ( ,james ,lovell4 ,& 9 ,decemb]1 unwill+ to be deta9$ long] f ! c\s9 to :om %e design$ to make "o ( h] *ief visits 9 ,engl&1 & f9d+ t sickness 9 ! family prev5t$ any "o f com+ = h]1 %e took ! coa* alone1 leav+ ,london be=e daylight & rid+ to ,salisbury1 :]e "s ( h] fri5ds met h]1 & conduct$ h] to _! home at ,burcombe ,h\se1 9 t vic9ity4 ,& !re %e sp5t ! next ?ree or f\r mon?s1 9 a way t h] lett]s w be/ tell4 ,^! lett]s we give z we f9d !m1 )\t exclud+ ! p]sonal allusions & occasional descriptions ( "*2 s9ce x is 9 j su* descriptions1 natural & easy1 t we be/ read ! m9d ( ! writ] & ( ^? :om %e portrays1 z well z ! features & ways ( a common ,engli% h\sehold4 ,& %\ld ^! lett]s *ance to fall "u ! eye ( any to :om !y allude1 if any /ill survive1 we tru/ !y w p>don a lib]ty :i* exposes no?+ t is n to _! honor4 ,burcombe ,h\se1 ,decemb] #h1 #ahbd4 ,congratulate me1 my good fri5ds1 t ,i am at la/ "u ?is ro(1 & h se5 c\s9 ,jane & all h] de> family4 ,i left ,london at five o'clock on ,saturday1 ! #d?1 & ,i f\nd myself at ,salisbury at ?ree o'clock1 n at all fatigu$4 ,c\s9 ,jane & h] son came to meet me2 b z _! c>riage 0 f home1 !y 7 9 an op5 gig1 & we ?\ght x exp$i5t to take a po/*aise1 z ,burcombe is five miles f ! t[n4 ,b be=e ,i proce$ to ! ev5ts ( my ride1 ,i mu/ tell y some?+ ( my c\s91 z ,i "k y are wi%+ to he> h[ %e receiv$ me4 ,our meet+ 0 j :at y c\ld easily imag9e x w\ld be1 kn[+ h] to be a p]son ( ard5t feel+s1 /rongly atta*$ to h] de> uncle1 & consequ5tly det]m9$ to love 8 daught]1 let h] be :at %e might2 & aft] ! frequ5t disappo9tm5ts we h _h1 ) reg>d to meet+1 we bo? _h an almo/ sup]/iti\s fe> t some?+ might yet happ5 to sep>ate u4 ,b we 7 at la/ toge!r1 &1 if x took u bo? "s "t to realize x1 we 7 n ! less rejoic$ to f9d x true4 ,%e has suff]$ mu*1 & x has subdu$ h] m9d & spirits1 & s(t5$ h] mann]s4 ,%e is c]ta9ly "o ( ! mo/ ent]ta9+ wom5 ,i ev] saw1 & "o ( ! mo/ int]e/+4 ,%e has /rong p[]s ( m9d1 & ( c\rse /rong passions1 w>m-he>t$1 en?usia/ic1 prone to extremes1 almo/ )\t re/ra9t 9 y\?1 & ! sport ( adv]se circum/ances ?r\gh life1 ignorant ( ! only sure ,guide to direct & gu>d ! s\l "u ! temptations to :i* su* trials subject x4 ,imag9e1 !n1 :at su* a m9d mu/ be :5 br\ght by suff]+ to a deep s5se ( religi\s obligation1 turn+ all its en]gies to ! accompli%m5t ( good to o!rs & ! subjection ( self1 n cont5t ) feel+ until e feel+ leads to active ex]tion1--& y h my de> c\s9 be=e y4 ,y w n be surpris$ t ,i %\ld already de>ly love h]1 & feel t x 0 wor? com+ s f> to "k & give h] pleasure4 ,h] m9d is j 9 t /ate :i* requires free discussion ^u subjects ( fai? & practice1 & %ut out z %e is "h f society1 & almo/ :olly )\t m9i/]ial in/ruction1 %e suff]s f ! want ( a companion :o feels a l int]e/ 9 ! matt]4 ,h[ (t5 d ,i wi% = h] ! same privileges :i* ,i h _h 9 ,mr4 ,*ann+1 or t y1 my de> c\s91 c\ld /ep 9 & p\r =? a little f y\r fund ( k4 ,b ,i h digress$ va/ly f my tale4 ,to return to ! inn at ,salisbury4 ,we soon seat$ ourselves 9 a *aise1 trunks1 boxes1 & all1 & 7 driv+ on at a furi\s rate t[>ds ,burcombe ,h\se1 :51 lo6 9 a quiet lane1 a mile at lea/ f any h\ses1 ! axle ( ! front :eels gave way2 (f w5t "o :eel1 & d[n w5t we1 j at d>k1 & ! ra9 fall+ 9 torr5ts4 ,we soon f\nd x 0 only a subject = laught]2 we _h b "o res\rce1 :i* 0 to s5d ! po/boy back to ,salisbury = ano!r coa*1 & to sit quietly 9 ! brok5 "o until he return$4 ,we _h n1 h[ev]1 sat long1 be=e ,"l ,pembroke's c>riage came to our relief2 x _h pass$ u full at ! comm5cem5t ( our disa/]1 & 0 s5t back to take u home1 or to ,wilton ,h\se4 ,z we did n l to take all ! baggage ) u1 we left x 9 ! c>e ( a s]vant1 &1 glad to get out ( ! cold1 we proce$$ to my ,"l's h\se4 ,i c\ld n b be amus$1 t my fir/ introduction to ?is region %\ld be to ,wilton ,h\se1 9 an ,e>l's c>riage4 ,i 0 n sorry to h an opportunity ( see+ a place ( :i* ,i h he>d s mu*1 & %\ld h be5 q pleas$ to h se5 ! great folks !mselves2 b !y *anc$ to be dress+ = d9n]1 & z our *aise soon came up = u1 ,i _h b little "t to survey ! place4 ,! h\se is fill$ ) pictures1 /atues1 & anci5t armor4 ,i hope to h an opportunity ( see+ x m leisurely4 ,?is :ole family gave me a mo/ he>ty welcome1 & ,i f\nd t x w\ld be my own fault if ,i 0 n lov$ by !m1 & happy ) !m4 ,jane has1 inde$1 a rem>kably f9e family1 ( /eady pr9ciples & habits1 & suffici5tly accompli%$ to be agreeable & well fitt$ = society4 ,?is is a v retir$ spot1 & except a call f ,"l & ,lady ,pembroke :5 !y are 9 ! neighborhood1 or a visit f "s travell+ acqua9tance1 sc>cely any "o ent]s ! h\se except ! family4 444 ,! /ate ( ! poor 9 ?is c\ntry is s v diff]5t f any ?+ we see at home1 t ,i c sc>cely give y any idea ( ! /rik+ diff]5ce ev]y:]e obs]vable 9 _! mann]s & habits4 ,! imm5se sum :i* is collect$ = _! support1 "u ! =m ( poor rates1 mu/ less5 _! ex]tion = !mselves1 & ! v dep5d5ce :i* is ?us creat$ makes !m s]vile4 ,"s great man owns ! village & l&s ab\t x1 8 /ew>d lets !m to f>m]s1 & ( c\rse x dep5ds ^u sundry cont+5cies :e!r !y reta9 possession ev5 dur+ life2 & h[ c !y feel z mu* int]e/ z if x 7 _! own freehold1 & !y knew _! *ildr5 w\ld reap ! b5efit ( _! improvem5ts ^u x8 99 99 99 99 99 ,burcombe ,h\se1 ,decemb] #ca1 #ahbd1 ,half pa/ ,elev54 ,,my ,,de> ,,fri5d3-- ,?is h\r has = s _m ye>s f\nd me at my desk p\r+ =? to y1 t1 al?\gh 9 a new hemisph]e & "u new influ5ces1 ,i in/9ctively turn to ! p5 & ink1 ) a feel+ t some?+ rema9s to be done be=e ! old ye> c be all[$ to take its dep>ture4 ,i am n1 z ,i 0 wont to be1 seat$ quietly alone by my 'a9 fireside1' cogitat+ ^u ! pa/1 &1 = ! only "t 9 ! twelve mon?s1 d>+ to look =w>d & hope = ! future4 ,x is ! cu/om "h = all ! family to sit out ! old ye>1 & ,i am 9 ! p>lor1 surr\nd$ by ! :ole tribe4 ,on "o side is my c\s9's elde/ daught]1 play+ ',god save ! ,k+' z if all possibility ( ev] do+ x aga9 0 go+ ) ! ye>2 on ! o!r1 an animat$ ,miss ,c----1 act+ ! old-maid aunt1 giv+ h] nephews & nieces sage advice ^u ! occasion1 :o are all laugh+ mo/ he>tily4 ,9 fact1 ! :ole h\se is 9 a bu/le2 s y ne$ n expect a v connect$ epi/le1 z ,i am oblig$ to turn to "o or ! o!r1 e o!r ^w1 to jo9 9 ! m]rim5t4 ,! *anges :i* ! pa/ ye> has made 9 my life are s amaz+1 :5 ,i view !m 9 a body1 t ,i _c b be a/oni%$ t we %\ld ev] attempt to look =w>d ) any ?+ l calculation or plan4 ,y c easily conceive t ! contra/ betwe5 ?is night & its pa/ anniv]s>y is en\gh to excite ! few n]ves ,i h2 & y w n at all wond]1 t1 :atev] attractions !re may be ar\nd me1 ?\ght w w&] back to home & its int]e/s1 & x requires "s ef=t to re/ra9 my impati5ce to be aga9 re/or$ to !m1 t ,i may make up1 if possible1 = my abuse ( "s ( !m4 ,yet d n imag9e me discont5t$ or homesick2 ,i am n 9 ! lea/1 = e h\r's exp]i5ce makes me rejoice t ,i am "h2 &1 if k9dness & att5tion c\ld make up = old acqua9tance1 ,i c\ld be z cont5t$ to pass my life "h z any:]e4 ,i w\ld n return )\t see+ & do+ all t may be 9 my p[]2 b t ,i d look =w>d ) a feel+ ( desire1 su* z ,i nev] knew be=e1 to ! p]iod :51 all ?is be+ accompli%$1 ,i %all f9d myself aga9 at home1 x w\ld be folly to d5y4 ,b ?is is j :at ,i expect$ to feel1 & ( c\rse 0 prep>$ = ) "s degree ( firmness2 & :5 ?us prep>$1 x is a/oni%+ h[ indiff]5tly we g ?r\gh ) :at1 "u any o!r circum/ances1 w\ld de/roy "o's self-possession entirely4 ,! greate/ evil ,i f9d 9 ?is /ate ( con/ant prep>ation = endur+ is1 t ,i am gett+ into a quiesc5t /ate ( inaction2 n be+ q en\gh at ease to ex]t my own p[]s freely1 ,i am los+ t activity ( m9d :i* ,i r hop$ to increase4 ,b ,i h long s9ce le>n$ t y\?ful habits are n easily displac$1 & ,i am sure n[ t ,i nev] %all le>n to be loquaci\s4 ,y "k h[ mu* ,i felt ! inconv5i5ce ( my sil5t habits at home1 & w readily believe t ,i mu/ suff] /ill m among /rang]s1 ) :om agreeability is a necess>y passport4 ,x is s long s9ce ,i h writt5 y1 t ,i sc>cely "k :]e to take up ! ?read ( my disc\rse4 ,i 0 !n1 ,i believe1 at ,dov]1 & y probably h le>n$ f my lett]s to ,bo/on h[ mu* ,i f\nd to please me 9 my c\s9's family at ,*a?am4 ,x 0 my good =tune to h x 9 my p[] to be ( "s s]vice to !m1 & ,i assure y ,i 0 mo/ ?ankful = any opportunity ( r$eem+ my "t f entire uselessness4 ,i am fat$ to f9d tr\ble :]ev] ,i g1 & ought to be truly grateful :5 x is su* z ,i c relieve4 ,i /aid t5 weeks at ,*a?am1 & w5t !n to ,wal?am ,abbey1 ab\t sixte5 miles f ,london1 & sp5t ?ree weeks ) ,george ,lovell & 8 mo/ lovely wife4 ,he is ! son ( ! only rema9+ bro!r ( my gr&fa!r1 ) all ! w>m? & g5]osity :i* *>act]iz$ ! family 9 ,am]ica4 ,he unites good judgm5t & firm pr9ciples1 an uncommon v]satility ( tal5t1 & consequ5t p[] ( pleas+4 ,i came "h ^u ! #d? ( ,decemb]2 & if ,i h ev] told y en\gh ( c\s9 ,jane & h] conc]ns to give y any idea ( ! /rong int]e/ ,i h always felt 9 h]1 y w fully und]/& h[ int5se 0 ! excitem5t ( my m9d :5 ,i f\nd myself at la/ approa*+ h] mansion4 ,%e _h be5 ! greate/ attraction to me on ?is side ( ! wat]1 inde$ ! pr9cipal object ( my visit2 ! con/ant imp$im5ts :i* _h prev5t$ our meet+ dur+ ! pa/ summ] ( c\rse increas$ our int]e/ & impati5ce ab\t x1 & ,i c sc>cely tell :e!r pa9 or pleasure pr$om9at$ :5 ,i felt t ! crisis 0 ne> :i* w\ld decide h[ f> x 0 well t ,i _h come4444 ,%e has _h a life ( trial1 & be+ )\t t only com=t] "u suff]+ :i* c tea* u to submit pati5tly to x1 ! effect has be5 unhappy4 ,& n[ t %e is j awak+ f h] dream ( d>kness1 y c easily conceive t ! effect ( ! bright sun%9e :i* is break+ ^u h] m9d %\ld be mo/ p[]ful1 & apt to c>ry su* a m9d to ! extreme ( en?usiasm4 ,%e has b few connections1 & almo/ idoliz$ my fa!r z ! gu>dian ( h] y\?1 & !re=e incl9$ to ext5d to 8 *ild all ! /rong affection %e felt = him1 s t h] delight at see+ me 0 little %ort ( m9e to be ) h]4 ,"h1 !n1 ,i am enjoy+ mu* ) h] & h] family4 ,! h\se itself is "o ( ^? anci5t /one edifices :i* ab\nd 9 all p>ts ( ! k+dom1 9 connection ) ! h\ses ( ! great2 probably built = "s y\ng] & less afflu5t bran*es ( ! family4 ,! gr\nds are laid out ) ta/e1 & ! lawn beh9d x has n probably be5 di/urb$ s9ce ! h\se 0 built1 & is cov]$ ) a turf :i* might rival velvet 9 beauty4 ,! fir-trees1 elms1 & walnuts :i* surr\nd x1 & ! yew h$ge :i* divides ! g>d5 f x1 all speak its antiquity & add to its lovel9ess4 ,we h no neighbors2 b ! occasional visits ( ! diff]5t bran*es ( ! family give u "s v>iety4 99 99 99 99 99 ,burcombe ,h\se1 ,janu>y #a1 #ahbe4 ,,my ,,de> ,,m>y3-- ,a happy new ye> to y1 & all ! good p at ,m>lbor\gh ,h\se1 ,s\? ,/reet1 ,newton1 & ,canton6 ,al?\gh ,i _c h ! pleasure1 z ,i _h at ?is "t la/ ye>1 ( wak+ y out ( a s\nd sleep ^u ! occasion1 ,i h tak5 ! lib]ty ( ?9k+ ( y almo/ all ! night1 & wi%+ y 9 my he>t all possible bless+s dur+ ! ye> ^u :i* we h ent]$4 ,i d n d>e to look =w>d1 b ,i _c help hop+ t x may witness my return to y1 to f9d y 9 ! enjoym5t ( all t is wor? possess+ 9 life4 ,x is ! cu/om "h to sit out ! old ye>1 & z we 7 expect+ ,mr4 ,mc,adam & ,william home la/ night1 we det]m9$ to sit up = !m4 ,!y did n arrive until ne>ly five ?is morn+1 s t ,i _h "t en\gh to reflect ^u ! pa/ & hope = ! future2 & e ?\ght & action ( ! la/ anniv]s>y 7 liv$ ov] aga9 9 full reality4 ,i only want$ lib]ty to p\r =? to "s "o1 to be a mo/ eloqu5t egoti/2 b z x 01 ,i j ?\ght on quietly to 'my a9 sel1' & enjoy$ :at 0 go+ on ar\nd me z well z ,i c\ld4 ,our only neighbor is ! f>m]'s wife1 a mo/ excell5t woman ( sixty1 "o ( ! old primitive p ( ! c\ntry1 ( good s5se & s\nd judgm5t1 j su* a body z c\s9 ,n---- w\ld delight 94 ,h] husb& is ! *ur*-w>d51 ov]se] ( ! poor1 & inde$ ! pr9cipal man 9 all p>i% conc]ns2 & _! goodness to ! cottag]s makes !m belov$ by all4 ,y may imag9e ,mrs4 ,l---- z ab\t de> aunty's size1 ( pale complexion l h]1 :ite hair1 j p>t$ "u a neat :ite cap1 always surm\nt$ ) a neat black-sat9 bonnet1 /uff g[n1 made z gr&ma us$ to we> h]s1 ) a pla9 d\ble musl9 neck]*ief )9 & a black or calico %awl outside1 & a full l95 apron1 z :ite z ! sn[ itself4 ,h] face is all b5evol5ce1 & h] voice1 ev5 ) ! broad prov9cial pronunciation ( ! c\ntry1 sweet & musical4 ,!y h a l>ge family ( sons & daught]s2 "o ( ! =m]1 a v int]e/+ "y man1 is n[ go+ 9 a consumption4 ,x is ! be/ specim5 ( an ,engli% f>m]'s family t ,i h yet se54 ,i w5t on ,*ri/mas day to ! ,ca!dral at ,salisbury4 ,x is a v f9e build+1 & ! "p appropriat$ to ! s]vices ( ! *ur* is fitt$ up 9 a mu* bett] /yle ?an any ?+ ,i h se51 be+ ( black oak1 & 9 unison ) ! /yle ( ! build+4 ,! organ is a rem>kably f9e "o1 & ,i ?9k ,i nev] felt music m p[]ful ?an ! fir/ symphony1 play$ z ! bi%op & cl]gym5 ent]$4 ,x 0 at fir/ s s(t1 t 9 t imm5se build+ x seem$ r z if x 7 ! s\nd ( ! air itself ?an any e>?ly creation2 & z ! tones swell$1 ! v build+ trembl$1 & "o involunt>ily held ! brea? ) awe4 99 99 99 99 99 ,burcombe ,h\se1 ,febru>y #bd1 #ahbe4 ,,my ,,de> ,,c\s93-- ,! w9t] mon?s h pass$ v quickly1 &1 z spr+ approa*es1 ,i beg9 to look =w>d ) mu* anxiety to ! p]iod :51 hav+ complet$ all = :i* ,i came1 ,i may prep>e to return to my belov$ home1 & jo9 aga9 ! _m de> fri5ds ,i may f9d !re4 ,i ?ank ,god t he has be5 pleas$ to sp>e s _m ( !m = su* a l5g? ( "t1 = x is rem>kable t among s l>ge a circle !re %\ld h be5 s few *anges 9 t5 long mon?s4 ,y _c conceive ( ! gratitude :i* ,i feel :5ev] ,i he> f y1 = y "k n ! anxiety :i* ! consci\sness ( be+ at su* a di/ance inevitably excites4 ,i "k n :y x is1 = 7 ,i ev] s ne>1 ,i c\ld d no?+ to save ev5 "o ( ! lea/ ( !m all2 b s x is1 & x is a great] ex]cise ( reliance & tru/ ?an ,i c\ld h ev] kn[n1 _h ,i n left y4 ,i try to look =w>d )\t fe>1 & ,i nev] d\bt t1 :atev] trials may be 9 /ore = me1 x w be 9 m]cy t !y w come1 & ,i w be pati5t & submissive4 ,) reg>d to ! probable "t ( my return1 x is impossible = me to speak ) any c]ta9ty4 ,! fir/ f\r mon?s t ,i 0 9 ,engl& 7 lo/1 s f> z ! accompli%m5t ( ! imm$iate object = :i* ,i came 0 conc]n$2 & x ret>d$ my progress m ?an t "t1 z x is impossible to d z mu* 9 w9t] z might be done 9 half ! "t 9 summ]4 ,i d n speak ( ?is z regrett+ x1 = ,i h no d\bt t x 0 = "s good object t ,i 0 s employ$2 & ,i saw mu* :i* ,i %\ld n h o!rwise se5 at all4 ,b x makes x necess>y t ,i %\ld prolong my /ay "h1 9 ord] to d ev5 :at ,i calculat$ ^u :5 ,i nam$ a ye> = ! probable limit ( my abs5ce4 ,9 addition to ?is1 _m objects ( int]e/ h be5 pres5t$ to me ( :i* ,i knew no?+1 & peculi> circum/ances h occurr$ s9ce ,i h be5 "h to make me desir\s ( rema9+ long] ?an ,i _h anticipat$4 ,= ,i consid] myself a sort ( isolat$1 unconnect$ be+1 :o1 hav+ no imm$iate duties 9 life1 is b\nd to improve all opportunities ( usefulness :i* may (f] !mselves4 ,9 ,april ,m>y receiv$ ! welcome intellig5ce t h] v de> fri5d1 ,e4 ,p4 ,f41 f ,am]ica1 _h arriv$ 9 ,liv]pool4 ,be+ at ?is "t at ,a%1 ,surrey1 ! resid5ce ( h] fa!r's uncle1 %e imm$iately arrang$ to meet ,e---- 9 ,london1 mak+1 z %e says1 a desp]ate ef=t to break away f h] fri5ds at ,burcombe ,h\se1 to :om %e _h become s /rongly atta*$ z to make x no easy matt]1 z we may believe !re 0 "s atta*m5t on ! o!r side also4 ,aga9 & aga9 0 %e con/ra9$ to alt] h] plans & def] h] purpose ( return+1 by ! entreaties ( ^? :om %e wi%$ to gratify1 & :o urg$ ^u h]1 :5 o!r argum5ts fail$1 "o t 0 unansw]able2 namely1 t %e _h no duty to call h] home4 ,) sadness did %e admit x1 & nobly too4 ,i feel t ,i h _m ties :i* h to me ! =ce ( duties1 9 draw+ me back2 b ,i _c =get t ,i am inde$ )\t bond ( any k9d 9 life :i* c be call$ peculi> duty4 ,! two fri5ds met 9 ,london1 &1 aft] a few days ( delightful int]view1 ,m>y 0 call$ to ,syd5ham1 :]e are dat$ two lett]s1 f :i* we take portions1 ref]r+ to widely diff]5t subjects & sc5es4 ,syd5ham1 ,june1 #ahbe4 ,,de> ,,emma3-- ,x is s evid5t1 f _m circum/ances ( :i* y mu/ be fully s5sible1 t ?is is an appo9tm5t by t ,provid5ce :o guides ev5 ! sp>r[s 9 _! c\rse1 t y h only to seek to fulfil its duties to ! be/ ( y\r p[]s1 & humbly leave ! ev5t 9 ,8 h&s )\t ^: bless+ ! be/ endeavors ( ! mightie/ mu/ be ineffectual4 ,d n be ?9k+ h[ mu* m ?is or t "o might h done2 we %\ld d :at we c = ! sake ( obey+ ,god1 n = our pleasure2 & act+ f ?is motive1 we may le>n to be 'will+ ev5 to be useless1' if x be ,8 w4 ,?is may seem m ?an ! ,gospel requires1 b ,i believe1 if we knew ourselves ?or\ghly1 we %\ld ev] be suspici\s ( all feel+s :i* l$ to p]sonal comp>isons4 ,we %\ld1 z y say1 be ?ankful = ! "o tal5t1 n dissatisfi$ t we h n ! _m1 kn[+ t we may please ,god1 & accompli% ! end ( our be+ 9 ! "o case z well z 9 ! o!r4 ,& z x reg>ds ! good we may d1 d we n (t5 see ,him us+ feeble means to effect great ends8 ,at all ev5ts1 x is our duty to be satisfi$ ) :at ,he has ?\ght suffici5t = u4 ,b y ne$ no urg+ to induce y to d y\r utmo/2 ! only difficulty is1 to "k 9 :at mann] x is to be done4 99 99 99 99 99 ,syd5ham1 ,june #i1 #ahbe4 ,,my ,,de> ,,m>y3-- ,i made a call ) "s fri5ds "o day ^u ! cl]gyman's lady1 :5 our names 7 c>ri$ along by a r[ ( liv]y s]vants1 ea* "o s\nd+ x l\d] & l\d]1 until x 0 ann\nc$ by my lady's own s]vant at ! door ( ! draw+-room1 9 a voice t made me />t at ! fell['s impud5ce 9 speak+ s l\d to 8 mi/ress2 b ,i f\nd t ! poor lady 0 v deaf1 yet a good1 easy1 old-fa%ion$ body1 z sociable & k9d z ne$ be4 ,my risibles un=tunately took al>m at ! simil>ity ( ?is tra9 ( s]vants to a l9e at a fire h&+ buckets1 & ,i _h mu* ado to look indiff]5t & dignifi$1 z if ,i 7 us$ to x2 b ,i _h my laugh out :5 ,i got into ! room1 = ! good-natur$ body soon gave me a pret5ce = x by h] :imsical /ories4 ,i w5t to ,/4 ,paul's la/ week to see ! annual ga!r+ ( ! p>o*ial s*ools & ,i c\ld n h conceiv$ any ?+ s /rik+ z ! sight 04 ,t "p ( ! *ur* :i* is fitt$ up = s]vice is n us$1 b tempor>y seats are erect$ = ! *ildr5 "u ! great dome1 & ! spectators sit 9 ! body ( ! *ur*1 q d[n to ! we/]n door4 ,! *ildr51 ab\t eight ?\s&1 all clo!d 9 ! uni=m ( _! sev]al s*ools1 are arrang$ "o r[ above ano!r to ! numb] ( sixte51 & to ! height ( at lea/ fifty feet1 )9 ! pill>s ( ! dome & on ea* side ( ! aisles4 ,! appe>ance ( ! *ildr5 0 mo/ deeply affect+2 all betwe5 sev5 & f\rte51 n half ( :at belong$ to ! s*ools1 = want ( room2 all clo!d & educat$ by *>ity2 tak51 = ! mo/ "p1 f ! poore/ classes1 & p]haps sav$ f de/ruction2 x 0 a delightful sight = a ,*ri/ian1 a /rik+ te/imony to ! p[] ( religion4 ,!y 7 direct$ by ! motions ( "o man & x seem$ z if "o impulse mov$ ! :ole1 s p]fectly did !y keep "t toge!r4 ,& :5 at la/ all 7 assembl$1 & ! solemn sil5ce 0 sudd5ly brok5 by "o swell ( _! unit$ voices 9 a hymn ( ?anksgiv+1 ,i ?9k ! mo/ ins5sible !re mu/ h be5 melt$2 ! s\nd fill$ ! :ole ( t va/ build+1 & rev]b]at$ aga9 & aga9 along its aisles4 ,! morn+ s]vice 0 p]=m$ by ! cl]gyman1 *ori/]s1 & *ildr52 ! m9i/]'s voice 0 almo/ p[]less 9 t va/ place1 & ! organ1 & voices ( ! s+]s1 sixte5 9 numb]1 c\ld sc>cely be he>d at ! end ( ! aisle2 ! *ildr5 only c\ld fill ! space1 & z !y occasionally bur/ out 9 diff]5t p>ts1 ! effect 0 wond]fully f9e4 ,at ?is po9t1 ,m>y receiv$ a cordial invitation f a p>ty ( ,am]ican fri5ds1 to g ) !m to ,scotl&4 ,x 0 an opportunity :i* %e h>dly expect$1 b mo/ e>ne/ly desir$2 n only = its own sake1 b z facilitat+ a *]i%$ purpose ( visit+ h] fa!r's only si/] 9 ! ,nor? ( ,engl&1--a visit ( :i* %e ?\ght m ?an any o!r1 & :i* 0 to prove m important ?an any o!r1 ?\gh 9 a way :i* %e c\ld little anticipate4 ,! j\rney ?i!r1 :i* 0 almo/ h] only pure recreation1 & 0 %>$ ) a fri5d ( all o!rs desirable1 0 a high enjoym5t2 & h] un/udi$ acc\nt ( x1 writt5 f ,*e/] & ,gretna ,gre51 we give at l5g?1 z we h all[$ b little room to ?is k9d ( description4 ,we claim = x no di/9ction1 except t ( naturalness & ease4 ,*e/]1 ,july #bb1 #ahbe4 ,,my ,,de> ,,c\s93-- ,f sundry lett]s f ,emma & myself1 :i* w1 ,i tru/1 h rea*$ y long be=e ?is does1 y w be able to guess h[ ,i h f\nd my way to ?is place2 b ,i am v glad t ,i h "t & opportunity to tell y1 n only h[1 b :y1 ,i am "h4 ,i wrote to ,ann ! la/ ( ,june1 m5tion+ ,mr4 ,p]k9s's k9d proposition1 t ,i %\ld jo9 8 p>ty & g ) !m to ,scotl&4 ,i receiv$ y\r delightful lett] ! day aft]1 &1 ,i assure y1 ! enc\ragem5t y gave me to see & d all ,i c\ld1 ) ! promise ( ! approbation ( ^? k9d fri5ds ^: wi%es x is my greate/ desire to fulfil1 did n a little 9 decid+ me to use ! means plac$ )9 my p[] ( acquir+ ! in=mation1 :i* ,i probably %\ld nev] aga9 h an opportunity ( gett+4 ,i try to be satisfi$ 9 hav+ done :at appe>$ be/1 by ! ?\ght t x is my duty to improve all ! means ( do+ good :i* may fall 9 my way4 ,b ,i d n l to ?9k t any ?+ is to keep me f y mu* long]4 ,i _h made up my m9d :5 ,i came1 to g on bravely to ! end1 let x take :at "t x might1 b my hope 0 t a ye> w\ld be suffici5t1 & ,i /ill hope t x w2 yet ,i "k y w\ld n ?9k me "r to leave my "w half f9i%$1 = any *ildi% weakness1 or homesick feel+4 ,be assur$ t ,i am z indu/ri\s z ,i c be1 = my /imulant to ex]tion is a mo/ p[]ful "o1 t ( be+ aga9 unit$ to ! belov$ fri5ds :i* t bless$ spot1 home1 conta9s4 ,we h _h a mo/ delightful t\r s f>1 & ,i daily feel t ,i am a highly favor$ mortal1 to h su* an opportunity ( witness+ ! wond]s ( ?is goodly _w2 & ,i _c b be griev$ t ,i c make s little use ( su* a privilege4 ,we left ,ba? ^u ! #i?1 & h s9ce pass$ ?r\gh ,s\? & ,nor? ,wales1 & to-day took leave ( ! int]e/+ sc5]y & p we f\nd !re1 ) mu* regret4 ,at ,*ep/[ we pass$ a day1 see+ ! ru9s ( its old ca/le1 ^u "s sublime rocks on ! banks ( ! riv] ,wye1 & walk+ ?r\gh ! gr\nds ( ,pi]cefield1 a g5tleman's seat 9 ! neighborhood1 f9ely situat$ ^u ! rocky1 yet ?ickly wood$ heights1 :i* bord] ! riv] = a long di/ance f its m\?4 ,on our ride f ,*ep/[ to ,h]e=d1 we /opp$ to see ! ru9s ( ,t9t]n ,abbey & ,ragl& ,ca/le1 bo? v fam\s1 & ,i %\ld ?9k z f9e z x 0 possible any ?+ ( ! k9d c\ld be4 ,( ! =m]1 ! walls & pill>s ( ! *ur* are ne>ly all t rema91 b !y are s p]fect z to give "o an exact idea ( ! beauty :i* x once possess$1 built 9 ! pure/ ,go?ic /yle1 9 ! bottom ( a quiet1 beautiful valley1 wat]$ by ! ,wye1 & protect$ on all sides by rocks & hills1 :i* seem to defy any p[] t %\ld d>e to approa*4 ,b ! h& ( ,"t has work$ sil5tly & effectually1 & :at 0 once a mo/ noble temple is n[ b a tumbl+ ru91 sublime1 inde$1 ev5 9 its decay1 cov]$ almo/ ) ivy1 & %ad$ f )9 by trees :i* h gr[n ^u ! v spots consecrat$ to ! pray]s & confessions ( its =m] possessors4 ,its situation1 & ! peculi> lightness & beauty ( its ar*itecture1 h made x v mu* talk$ ( by travell]s2 b all my expectations 7 fully answ]$1 al?\gh !y 7 v great4 ,aft] rid+ all day ov] hill & dale1 ) only ! %eep = our companions1 we came at once ^u "o ( ! mo/ romantic sc5es imag9able2 ! s+ul> pass call$ ! ,devil's ,bridge1 a /one /ructure ?r[n ov] a *asm 9 ! rocks ( "o hundr$ & fifty feet dep?1 ?r\gh ! bottom ( :i* runs a v rapid /ream1 da%+ ov] rocks :i* at "s seasons mu/ make q a gr& cat>act2 b at ?is "t ! wat] is l[4 ,! banks are ?ickly wood$1 ev5 to ! edge ( ! wat]1 & altoge!r x is v attractive4 ,at ,a---- we pass$ a night1 & came ?r\gh mu* glori\s sc5]y to ,dalgelly1 :]e we p]=m$ ! mighty feat ( m\nt+ ,cad] ,idris1 ! highe/ m\nta9 9 ,wales1 except ,sn[don1 & two ?\s& eight hundr$ feet f ! po9t we left 9 ! pla9 bel[4 ,imag9e me m\nt$ on horse back1 = ! fir/ "t 9 my life1 = su* a p]il\s und]tak+1 =tunately )\t any fe>1 & mu* amus$ by ! novelty ( ! situation4 ,! day happ5$ to be v hot1 b ! atmosph]e 0 cle>2 & we %\ld h be5 amply repaid = t5fold ! fatigue we endur$1 by ! gr& sc5e we beheld f ! summit4 ,nev] hav+ be=e be5 on a great elevation1 ,i knew n :at to expect2 & if ! s5sations 7 n j :at ,i _h suppos$1 !y 7 suffici5tly solemn to make me s5sible t x 0 'good to be !re4' ,a birdseye view ( a circuit ( five hundr$ miles c\ld n fail to fill "o ) an idea ( ! p[] & maje/y ( ,him :o =m$ ^! wondr\s glories1 su* z no common sc5es c\ld ev] h inspir$4 ,i ?9k ,i %all nev] look back ^u t h\r )\t recall+ emotions :i* %\ld make "o bett] = ev]4 ,,m>y4 99 99 99 99 99 ,gretna ,gre51 ,july #cj1 #ahbe4 ,,my ,,de> ,,m>y3-- ,my la/1 ,i ?9k1 0 f ,lanca/]1 j z we 7 ab\t comm5c+ our j\rney among ! beautiful lakes ( ,cumb]l& & ,we/morel&4 ,we cross$ :at are call$ ! ,ulv]/one & ,lanca/] ,s&s to ,ulv]/one4 ,! %ore is v h>d at ?is place1 & :5 ! tide is d[n ! ride is p]fectly safe & free f wat]1 except 9 ! c5tre1 :]e a riv] passes ?r\gh4 ,at ?is place is always f\nd a guide1 :o conducts ! c>riage ?r\gh ! =d4 ,i confess ,i did n mu* l ! s5sation1 = ?\gh !re is no dang] 9 a heavy c>riage1 ! curr5t ( ! riv] is s /rong t x seems z if ! c>riage 7 swimm+4 ,x 0 an odd feel+1 too1 aft] hav+ be5 s rec5tly ?ree ?\s& feet 9 ! air1 to f9d "o's self walk+ on ! v b$ ( ! ocean4 ,we _h ab\t twelve miles ( ?is k9d ( travell+4 ,! coa/ is v bold1 & we 7 q delight$ ) ! v>iety4 ,! next day's ride1 f ,ambleside to ,keswick1 0 a v int]e/+ "o2 ! sc5]y ( ! gr&e/1 & at times mo/ beautiful1 "*4 ,at ,rydal we /opp$ to see :at w\ld h be5 a beautiful cascade if !re _h be5 any wat]1 b we h _h su* a long p]iod ( dry wea!r t ! /ream _h almo/ disappe>$4 ,! sc5]y ab\t x 0 f9e1 & ! ?+ itself c\ld n b int]e/ u "u any circum/ances1 = x bord]s ^u ,wordswor?'s gr\nds1 & has no d\bt be5 a favorite resort ( 81 & ! sugge/ion ( mu* ( 8 f9e poetry4 ,8 h\se is j bel[1 & we c\ld n help /opp+ at ! gate1 to look at ! abode ( "o ^: writ+s we s mu* admir$4 ,he 0 n at home1 b 8 si/] came out & invit$ u to see ! place1 & take a view f ! ,m\nt :i* gives ! "n to 8 place4 ,?is we c\ld n d1 b x 0 "s consolation = our disappo9tm5t to h spok5 to h]1 al?\gh x 0 v tantaliz+ n to be able to avail ourselves ( h] polite invitation4 ,! lakes ( ,rydal1 ,grasm]e1 ,w9d]m]e1 came 9 succession on our way1 all beautiful1 b ,grasm]e ) its little isl& 9 ! c5tre ! mo/ s1 by f>2 ! banks be+ mu* wood$ & ornam5t$ by g5tlem5's seats4 ,& ,emma & ,i fanci$ t1 aft] se>*+ ! great] "p ( ,engl&1 we _h at l5g? f\nd a spot 9 :i* we %\ld be will+ to take up our abode = life4 ,! mighty ,helvellyn tempt$ u m\nta9-climb]s to asc5d its r\gh sides1 b ) ,skiddaw be=e u we 7 satisfi$ to pass x1 9 ! hope ( accompli%+ ! asc5t ( t4 ,at ,keswick we /aid "o night1 rid+ to ,bass5?waite 9 ! aft]noon1 & sail+ ^u ! lake 9 ! ev5+4 ,no?+ c\ld exce$ ! beauty & sublimity ( ! latt] excursion4 ,:5 we fir/ w5t ^u x1 ! sun 0 j sett+ beh9d ! imm5se m\nta9s :i* b\nd ?is lake on ! we/1 ?r[+ _! %ad[s ^u its smoo? surface1 & light+ ^? beyond ) t purple1 mi/y hue1 :i* is n to be describ$ b by ! bru% ( an arti/1 ?is aga9 giv+ way to ! sob] hue ( ev5+1 until all view ( !m w\ld h be5 lo/1 _h n ! moon ris5 9 full-orb$ glory1 to enlight5 ! sc5e ) h] pal]1 b n less beautiful light4 ,we sail$ ab\t f\r h\rs ^u ! lake1 l&+ ^u "o ( ! isl&s ^u :i* is a g5tleman's seat1 & go+ to ! o!r extremity to see ! falls ( d>k ,lodore1 & to he> ! s+ul> effect produc$ by fir+ a cannon on ! %ore2 x seem$ l ! rumbl+ ( ?und]1 & 0 di/9ctly e*o$ five times4 ,i don't ?9k ,i h enjoy$ any "o ?+ s mu* z ?is sail1 s9ce we comm5c$ our j\rney4 ,we came on ?r\gh ,c>lisle1 & pass$ ! b\nd>y l9e betwe5 ,scotl& & ,engl&1 & rea*$ ?is place be=e d>k1--! fir/ t[n ov] ! bord]4 ,x is a v small village1 consi/+ ( sc>cely m ?an a doz5 :ite cottages1 b x has1 p]haps1 be5 ! sc5e ( z _m critical ev5ts z _m a l>g] "o4 ,we are at a v com=table inn1 got up = ! accommodation ( ! fugitives :o fly hi!r to seal _! fate ) ! blacksmi?'s unholy bless+4 ,d n be al>m$ = me1 al?\gh ,i am quietly seat$ 9 ! v room :i* has witness$ ! consummation 's dev\tly wi%$' by mo/ "y dames4 ,x is1 inde$1 mortify+ to f9d "o's self s ne> ! goal1 ) s _m requisites1 oblig$ to miss ! glori\s opportunity = ! want ( "o trifl+ article1--a husb&2 b s x is1 & not)/&+ ,i am tread+ fairy l&1 ,i 9 va9 look = "s k9d godmo!r to conjure up ! ne$ful1 & mu/ ev5 submit to s+le bless$ness a little long]4 ,b ,i mu/ /op2 & h n "t to look ?is ov]4 ,,m>y4 ,,vii4 ,,sc5es ,,( ,,suff]+4 ,v diff]5t f its beg9n+ 0 ! t]m9ation ( ! pleasant t\r ?r\gh ,scotl&4 ,m>y felt x a duty to suppress all long+s to g on ) h] good fri5d1 :o 0 soon to leave ! c\ntry4 ,gladly w\ld %e h return$ ) h] to ,am]ica at once4 ,b ! great purpose1 c]ta9ly "o ( ! *ief objects1 = :i* %e _h gone abroad1 0 n yet accompli%$4 ,h] fa!r's only si/]1 :o _h be5 left a wid[ 9 a v de/itute condition1 0 /ill liv+ 9 a di/ant & obscure village ( ,york%ire4 ,mr4 ,pick>d _h made an annual provision = h] support :ile he liv$1 & 8 daught] det]m9$ to c>ry out 8 int5tions1 s f> z %e c\ld4 ,yet %e felt t no aid 9 h] p[] to s5d w\ld be z mu* to h] poor aunt z a visit1 & %e _h be5 anxi\sly look+ = an escort to ! place1 :i* 0 s remote z to make x h>dly prud5t = a lady & a /rang] to v5ture alone4 ,%e 0 !re=e ! m ready to accompany h] fri5ds to ,scotl&1 z on _! return !y w\ld g )9 eighty miles ( ,osmo!rly1 h] aunt's resid5ce4 ,accord+ly %e p>t$ f !m at ,p5ri?1 & w5t ! re/ ( ! way alone4 ,! visit t foll[$ =ms ! mo/ rem>kable1 & 9 "s respects ! mo/ int]e/+ & important1 *apt] 9 ! /ory ( h] life4 ,in/ead ( ?ree weeks1 :i* %e _h set ap>t = ?is purpose1 %e rema9$ ?ree mon?s at ,osmo!rly4 ,& x is n ! lea/ noticeable fact 9 t exp]i5ce1 t %e wrote on ! spot a v full acc\nt ( ! :ole1 9 ! mid/ ( c>es & ! sight & s\nd ( suff]+s :i* are ord9>ily all[$ to excuse1 if !y d n :olly prev5t1 any use ( ! p5 or ef=t ( m9d4 ,b we w n anticipate4 ,nor w we int]rupt ! n>rative1 :i* we h drawn f v>i\s lett]s1 by any comm5ts ( our own4 ,osmo!rly1 ,septemb] #b1 #ahbe4 ,,my ,,de> ,,emma3-- ,i wi% ,i c\ld relieve y\r m9d ab\t my und]tak+ & prospects z quickly z my own 0 set at re/4 ,i w n recapitulate all or any ?+ t ,i felt at p>t+ f y ye/]day1 b y "k me well en\gh to believe t x 0 ) no common degree ( regret & anxiety1 :i* ! unc]ta9ty ( ! pa? be=e me t5d$ n a little to increase4 ,b ,i did recollect t ,i _h nev] yet be5 =sak5 9 any difficulty2 suppos+ ! wor/1 !re c\ld be no fe> ( real evil1 & anxiety & di/ru/ only made all t real :i* might aft] all be m]ely imag9>y4 ,9 ord] to obta9 ! quiet feel+ :i* ?is view ( ?+s %\ld create1 ,i turn$ my att5tion to my fell[-pass5g]1 :o prov$ a v respectable1 well-in=m$ woman1 & my only companion to ,nor? ,all]ton4 ,h] exp]i5ces help$ to make me m com=table1 = %e _h come f ,london alone1 travell$ all night1 & _h a v long di/ance f>!r to g4 ,%e said %e f\nd no difficulty 9 travell+ alone1 & gave me "s useful h9ts ^u ! subject4 ,our r\te lay ov] a diff]5t road f t by :i* we approa*$ ,york1 & z ! day 0 s f9e1 we _h a m tol]able ride ?an ,i expect$4 ,at ,nor? ,all]ton ,i f\nd a quiet room at ! inn1 & a civil l&lady1--w5t directly to ! po/-(fice1 :]e a long & delightful lett] f ,jane ,mc,adam await$ me4 ,n a ^w !re ( my aunt's lett]1 & ,i !n w5t to a g5tleman1 ?r\gh :om ,i _h =m]ly transmitt$ lett]s to h]1 & f\nd t he _h s5t ! day be=e a lett] f h] to me1 & t %e 0 !n well4 ,?is set me q at ease1 & ,i took a *aise & rode hi!r ) a comp>atively light he>t4 ,& !n ,i wi%$ x _h s *anc$ t y c\ld h tak5 ?is ride ) me1 = a m beautiful "o ,i h seldom se54 ,?is t[n lies ^u "o ( ^? hills :i* we saw at a di/ance t[>ds ! ea/ ! day we rode f ,ri*mond2 & ! ride f ,nor? ,all]ton is a gradual asc5t1 giv+ at e /ep a m ext5d$ view ( ! ri* c\ntry :i* we pass$ ?r\gh1 ) ! additional beauty ( numb]less little /reams :i* we c\ld n see1 & highly cultivat$ hills ris+ on "o side to a great height4 ,i f\nd my aunt mu* bett] ?an ,i expect$1 &1 z y may suppose1 almo/ ov]p[]$ ) joy to see me4 ,i did wi% y c\ld h se5 h]1--a small1 ?9 old lady1 ) a pale complexion1 l ,aunt ,:ipple1 & ! v brighte/ black eyes1 :i* sp>kle :5 %e speaks ) a degree ( animation almo/ amus+ 9 su* an old lady4 ,%e lives 9 a com=table little two-/ory cottage ( f\r rooms1 :i* f> exce$s any ?+ ,i ev] saw = neatness4 ,i f9d t ,i c\ld n h come at a bett] "t to d good1 or a worse = ga9+ spirits4 ,my aunt's two daught]s are m>ri$ & live 9 ?is village2 "o ( !m1 ) ?ree *ildr51 has a husb& at ! po9t ( dea? ) a fev]2 8 bro!r di$ ye/]day ( ! small-pox1 & two ( h] *ildr5 h ! :oop+-c\gh2 add$ to ?is1 _! :ole dep5d5ce is ^u _! own ex]tions1 :i* are ( c\rse entirely /opp$ n[4 ,"o ( ! *ildr51 a ye> & a half old1 is ) ! gr&mo!r1 b s ill ) ! c\gh t %e is almo/ sick ) tak+ c>e ( x4 ,x has =tunately tak5 a fancy to me at once1 & ,i c relieve h] a little4 ,b worse ?an all1 "o ( h] sons _h come home 9 a v gloomy /ate ( m9d1 & all h] ef=ts _h fail$ to r\se him to ex]tion4 ,i hope to be m successful1 = he seems will+ to li/5 to me4 ,y may suppose1 "u su* a /ate ( ?+s1 ,i %all f9d en\gh to d4 ,my aunt's m9d is 9 a mu* bett] /ate ?an ,i expect$1 & if %e does n get worn out ) c>e to d m = me ?an ev] 0 done = any body be=e1 ,i %all be mo/ ?ankful t ,i came4 ,%e tells me ( _m neighbor+ places :i* x w\ld int]e/ me to visit1 z resorts ( my de> fa!r1 & ,i ?9k1 next week1 if possible to get a vehicle1 ,i %all take h] (f ^u a jaunt r\nd ! c\ntry = a few days1 9 home /yle1 driv+ myself4 ,i h n se5 half ! multitude ( c\s9s t ,i f9d are to be se51 b s f> !y are k9d & affectionate1 & dispos$ to make me com=table & happy4 ,i feel j l a *ild :o has left home = ! fir/ "t2 ! *ange is s sudd5 & s great1 t ! la/ eight weeks seem to me v l a dream ( "s di/ant age1 & a mo/ int]e/+ "o too4 ,i nev] 0 m ?ankful = ! v>ieties ( life ?r\gh :i* ,i h pass$1 = )\t actual exp]i5ce ,i nev] c\ld h adapt$ myself to ! new ord] ( be+s ,i n[ h to deal )4 ,i %all f9d full employm5t = my f+]s1 9 mak+ my poor aunt z com=table z ,i wi% to leave h]4 ,y\rs1 ,m4 ,l4 ,p4 99 99 99 99 99 ,osmo!rly1 ,septemb] #h1 #ahbe4 ,,my ,,de> ,,emma3-- ,wat*+ all night by a dea?-b$ is b a poor prep>ation = writ+2 & yet ,i am n will+ to lose ! fir/ leisure mom5t t ,i h _h s9ce ,i wrote y1 le/ y %\ld be al>m$ at my long sil5ce4 ,b ,i ?9k1 f ! acc\nt ,i gave y ( ! /ate ( affairs "h1 y w naturally conclude t ,i %\ld h _h con/ant occupation1 & w n be uneasy ab\t me4 ,i h inde$ f\nd q z mu* employm5t = m9d & body z ei!r 7 able to p]=m1 & h n _h "o mom5t to devote to y1 al?\gh my he>t has be5 ) y1 & my ?\ghts h (t5 foll[$ y4 ,! poor sick man1 ( :om ,i told y1 has be5 gr[+ worse daily1 & x 0 ) feel+s ( almo/ joy t ,i la/ night clos$ 8 eyes1 kn[+ t 8 suff]+s 7 at an end2 & yet he is s great a loss to 8 family1 t ,i seldom knew a case 9 :i* x 0 s difficult to feel t 'x is "r4' ,8 wife1 :o is b a sl5d] woman1 is left ) ?ree little boys1 )\t a p5ny to support !m1 & almo/ )\t ! p[] ( ga9+ x1 = ! y\nge/1 :i* is b ?ree weeks old1 is dreadfully ill ) ! :oop+-c\gh4 ,%e is a calm & pati5t suff]]1 h[ev]1 & x does "o good to see h[ tr\ble c be borne by ! mo/ unlett]$ & un9=m$1 :5 ! _s is "r4 ,i h n be5 able to d mu* = him1 b ! little baby has be5 my con/ant c>e1 & ,i h got to lov+ x de>ly4 ,e ?+ ar\nd me is sad & sorr[ful1 & no?+ b ! ef=t1 :i* x is absolutely necess>y = me to make1 to *e] & assi/ o!rs1 gives me ! lea/ pleasure4 ,my poor aunt1 weak5$ 9 m9d & body by cont9u$ & mo/ sev]e afflictions1 is almo/ a *ild2 h] son is ne>ly insane1 & keeps h] 9 con/ant fe> le/ he may de/roy himself2 & ! trials ( ?is poor daught] are en\gh to break h] he>t4 ,ano!r ( my c\s9s is well m>ri$1 & wi%es me to be ) h] at h] quiet & happy home2 b ,i _c ?9k ( des]t+ ?is po/1 h[ev] pa9ful1 = any prospect ( ease to myself4 ,9 fact1 x seems to me t po/s ( difficulty are my appo9t$ lot & my elem5t1 = ,i d feel light] & happi] :5 ,i h difficulties to ov]come4 ,c\ld y look 9 ^u me1 y w\ld ?9k x 0 impossible t ,i c\ld be ev5 tol]ably com=table1 & yet ,i am *e]ful1 & get on z easily z possible1 & am 9 tru? happy4 ,?is village is ! mo/ primitive place ,i ev] 0 91 & a v obscure1 out-(-! way place2 ! inhabitants almo/ entirely ( "o class1 & t ( ! poor] k9d ( labor+ p1 ignorant z possible1 b simple & social4 ,y may conceive ( _! simple mann]s1 :5 ,i tell y !y 'nev] saw su* a lady z ,miss ,pick>d' among !m be=e2 & ( c\rse ,miss ,pick>d is an object ( z mu* curiosity & speculation z if %e 7 ,empress ( all ! ,russias2 b !y are k9d-he>t$ & civil4 ,! peculi> situation ( ?+s has tak5 me m among !m ?an ,i %\ld h be5 9 twice ! "t1 "u common circum/ances1 & x has be5 a good ex]cise = my faculty ( adaptation4 ,i h succe$$1 ,i believe1 9 pleas+ !m1 = x seems z if !y only vi$ ) ea* o!r 9 try+ to d ! mo/ = me1 & ,i really ?9k1 if !y _h a p>son to write ! ',annals ( _! ,p>i%1' ! arrival ( ! ',am]ican lady' w\ld /& z ! mo/ rem>kable ev5t 9 ! ye> #ahbe4 ,?is amuses me1 & gives me an opportunity ( do+ mu* good ) little tr\ble1 = x gives me influ5ce2 &1 moreov]1 x %[s me human nature "u a new =m4 ,b ,i am entirely de/itute ( e ?+ l companion%ip1 & hav+ _h s mu* 9 ?is way lately ) y1 ( ! mo/ satisfactory & delightful k9d1 y w readily believe t ,i mu/ feel a great defici5cy4 ,!re is n ev5 a cl]gyman's family = me to associate )1 = ! curate ( ! place is ( ! v wor/ class ( t set ^: exi/5ce is a /&+ disgrace to ! ,*ur*2 an ignorant1 dr9k+ man1 z c>eless & neglig5t ( ! duties ( 8 /ation z if he consid]$ x ( no consequ5ce :atev]4 ,i hope to h a little leisure soon1 & !n read+ & writ+ w make up to me 9 "s measure = ! loss ( society2 b z yet ,i h lit]ally _h to "w h>d1 & h n f\nd "t ev5 to look at '! j\rnal4' ,i h a nice1 little1 quiet room1 h[ev]1 & feel q at home 9 x4 ,i h ?\ght mu*1 v1 v mu*1 ( y\r voyage back )\t me4 ,i w n say ,i regret ! circum/ances :i* h l$ to my disappo9tm5t1 = x seem$ to be my appo9t$ pa?1 & :5 "o foll[s ! dictates ( consci5ce x mu/ be "r2 & :5 x is "r1 :y %\ld we wi% x o!rwise8 ,b ,i am weak1 & !re are times :5 ! ?\ght ( ano!r six1 p]haps n9e1 mon?s' abs5ce f home1 ) all ! unc]ta9ties :i* att5d ! future1 makes my he>t s9k1 & ! te> />t1 9 spite ( myself4 ,yet x c\ld n be o!rwise2 x w\ld h be5 wrong to h neglect$ com+ "h4 ,i am m conv9c$ ( ?is n[ ?an ev]1 = ?\gh x 0 said t ,i c\ld d z mu* good by s5d+ money z by com+ myself1 ,i d n ?9k s2 & ?\gh ,i may be ?\ght fooli%ly scrupul\s = subject+ myself to ! evils ,i mu/ meet ) "h1 :5 ,i might h avoid$ !m1 ,i am sure ,i nev] c\ld h felt satisfi$ t all 0 done = my poor aunt z well z x c\ld be1 unless ,i _h se5 & manag$ x4 ,b ,i am all[+ myself 9 talk+ ( self 9 a mo/ unw>rantable mann]2 y w p>don me1 9 consid]ation ( ! difficulty ( giv+ up at once ! habit ( self-indulg5ce :i* y\r k9dness has creat$ & fix$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,osmo!rly1 ,septemb] #aj1 #ahbe4 ,,my ,,de> ,,emma3-- ,i d n mean to act mode/ & beg a complim5t = x1 b 9 sob] tru? y d ov]rate me4 ,j because y happ5 to h se5 m deeply into my 'inn] man' ?an y are wont to d ) o!rs1 & h y\r feel+s /rongly int]e/$1 y let !m c>ry y (f1 ^u _! lib]al & exp&$ w+s1 to a region ( romance peopl$ by ideal spirits ) :i* y id5tify y\r poor fri5d ,m>y1 :o has 9 tru? no bus9ess !re4 ,b ,i d inde$ rejoice1 if ! exp]i5ce :i* ,god 9 8 goodness has giv5 me has be5 9 any measure useful4 ,i d consid] x a privilege to h le>n$ s mu* ( ,8 "* & w z 9 ! wisdom ( ,8 provid5ce ,he has enabl$ me to d1 ?\gh x has be5 by fi]y trial4 ,i feel responsible = ! "r use ( su* a privilege1 n only = my own1 b o!rs' good2 & if 9 ! fulness ( my he>t ,i h be5 tempt$ to %[ y m ( myself ?an a cool] judgm5t w\ld h approv$1 ,i tru/ t x may n h be5 )\t its advantages to bo?2 to me1 9 tea*+ a lesson ( humility2 to y1 z a w>n+1 p]haps4 ,b ,i mu/ n yield to ?is prop5sity to egotism2 ,i h too mu* beside to talk ab\t4 ,our poor man 0 buri$ ye/]day1 &1 z cl]gym5 r>ely come "h1 my c\s9 ?\ght %e w\ld h h] infant *ri/5$ on ! same day4 ,x 0 a mo/ affect+ sight4 ,i /ood z its godmo!r at h] reque/1 because ,i c\ld n refuse h] at su* a "t2 b x is too great a responsibility to be lightly tak54 ,! *ild1 h[ev]1 _c live1 = x has begun already to h fits ) its c\gh4 ,septemb] #ab4 ,9 ?ree days y are to be gone f ! c\ntry1 & ,i %all n h ?is means ( communicat+4 ,de> ,emma1 y _c tell h[ mu* ,i %all miss y4 ,y seem to be a connect+ l9k ) home1 :i* ,i h a fe>ful dread ( los+4 ,i don't "k h[ x is1 b ^! com+ six mon?s seem to me a worse sep>ation ?an all ! pa/ eighte54 ,yet d n ?9k1 because ,i feel s sad ab\t n go+ home1 t ,i dread /ay+4 ,y "k en\gh ( ! int]e/s ,i h "h1 to feel satisfi$ t ,i %all h mu* to occupy me pleasantly4 ,x is only ! protract$ sep>ation f home t ,i feel sorry =1 & t is unavoidable1 & w p]haps prove be/ on _m acc\nts4 ,f>ewell4 99 99 99 99 99 ,osmo!rly1 ,septemb] #ac1 #ahbe4 ,,de> ,,emma3-- ,i _h det]m9$ to write la/ night1 z ,i f\nd x q out ( ! "q to attempt x 9 ! daytime4 ,i _h be5 up ) ! little boy a great "p ( ! night be=e2 yet ,i knew ,i c\ld keep awake writ+1 ,i want$ to d x s mu*4 ,b 9 ! true _s ( ,polly ,pick>d1 attempt+ m ?an any "o w\ld ?9k reasonable1 ,i 0 q p]suad$ t1 z ,i 0 to sit up1 x 0 z well to d all ,i c\ld2 & z poor c\s9 ,bessy _h n _h a quiet night s9ce h] *ild 0 born1 & 0 go+ to sleep alone 9 h] h\se = ! fir/ "t s9ce h] husb&'s dea?1 ,i ?\ght x w\ld d h] good1 & me no h>m1 to sit up 9 h] p>lor1 & take c>e ( ! baby 9 ! cradle1 t %e might h a little sleep1 & n feel alone4 ,! de> little baby _h be5 bett] ?an = "s "t1 dur+ ! day1 & ,i d\bt$ n x w\ld lie 9 ! cradle or on my knee v quietly1 except dur+ its c\gh+ fits4 ,bessy w5t to b$1 b ! poor little creature grew worse1 & c\gh$ itself into a fit1 9 :i* x lay s long t ,i ?\ght x dead1 & awoke its "m2 b its little he>t began to beat aga91 & x seem$ to be reviv+1 ?\gh sl[ly1 & ,i s5t h] (f aga94 ,x appe>$ = "s "t to be recov]+1 b all at once x sunk away & di$ 9 my arms1 s peacefully & sweetly t ,i c\ld sc>cely be p]suad$ t x _h n fall5 into a /ill slumb]1 or _h ano!r fit4 ,b x 0 inde$ gone1 & :5 ,i c\ld br+ myself to give x up1 ,i arrang$ its little body = its la/ home4 ,i don't "k :5 ,i h _h my feel+s m excit$4 ,x 0 a lovely little creature1 & ,i h nurs$ x s mu* s9ce ,i h be5 "h1 t ,i f\nd x _h become an object ( great int]e/ to me2 n a day has pass$ t ,i h n giv5 ?ree or f\r h\rs to x1 & x 0 always s quiet ) me t x seem$ almo/ to "k :5 ,i took x4 ,! circum/ances ( ! family1 too1 made x s+ul>ly affect+ t x %\ld be tak5 away1 & ! sudd5ness ( its dea? seem$ almo/ to bewild] me4 ,its poor "m is ill1 & betwe5 com=t+ h] & com+ home to my aunt1 :o is v feeble1 ,i sc>cely "k h[ to f9d "t en\gh = ei!r4 ,i h be5 up ?ree nights s9ce ,w$nesday la/1 &1 ) two *ildr5 to manage1 ,i am almo/ maz$4 ,i h tri$ to write ?is morn+1 = ! baby 0 n out ( my arms a mom5t la/ night1 b ,i _c collect my ?\ghts1--,i don't "k :at ,i mean to say4 ,y mu/ /ate ! case = me4 ,c\ld y look 9 ^u me y might wond] ,i 0 n crazy1 b ,i %all d v well :5 ,i get a little sleep4 ,d n feel uneasy ab\t me2 ,i am n 9 dang] ( be+ sick1 unless ! prophecies ( ! old wom5 "h w kill me1 = !y ?9k1 ,i believe1 t ,i am too k9d to live1 & !y %ake _! heads mo/ kn[+ly1--"o pro( among a ?\s& h[ mu* m frequ5tly our *>act]s are e/imat$ by ! circum/ances 9 :i* we happ5 to be plac$1 ?an by any o!r crit]ion4 ,d write1 to ! la/ m9ute4 ,i _c be> to "p ) y 9 ?is unsatisfactory mann]1 b inde$ ,i am incapable ( any ?+ m2 my eyes are dazzl$ z ,i write1 & ,i mu/ lie d[n4 ,i %all write by ! packet ( ! #bd? f ,liv]pool1 s t y w he> ( me almo/ z soon z y get home2 & ,i pray ,god t 9 safety & heal? & increas$ happ9ess y may all rea* 't hav5 :]e y w\ld be1 ) a grateful s5se ( ,8 m]cies4' ,may ,god = ev] bless y1 my de>1 k9d fri5d1 & /r5g!n y by ,8 grace to pursue ) success t pa? ( virtue & hol9ess :i* x is y\r wi% to foll[1 & enable y to p]=m all ! duties :i* lie be=e y1 consi/5tly ) ,8 div9e w1 & wor?y ( ,8 acceptance4 ,?is c only be done by humble reliance ^u ,him :o is ! way1 ! tru?1 & ! life1 = guidance1 support1 & rew>d4 ,he alone c enable u to d t :i* we ought to d1 &1 feel+ our own weakness1 let u rely ) fai? ^u ,8 promises1 nei!r d\bt+ nor fe>+ ! c]ta9ty ( _! accompli%m5t4 ,b ,i _c write or ?9k2 ,i seem to feel t 'bonnie little bairnie' 9 my arms /ill1 & my n]ves are some?+ %ak54 ,! wor/ ( ! :ole is t poor1 unhappy "y man1 ^: l[ moans are cont9ually s\nd+ 9 my e>s2 b ,i s5d him away to-morr[ = 8 own sake1 z well z ours1 & all w g well4 ,aga91 de>e/ ,emma1 ,heav5 bless y6 ,ev] y\r ,m4 ,l4 ,p4 99 99 99 99 99 ,osmo!rly1 ,septemb] #ad1 #ahbe4 ,,de> ,,emma3-- ,i h _h a gr& night's sleep1 & am bett] to-day1--%\ld be well1 b = ?is lazy feel+1 & a dull heada*e4 ,don't fe> = me4 ,i d n ?9k ,i am go+ to be sick1 & x w be = "s good purpose if ,i am4 ,i c\ld n regret :at ,i h done2 ,i c\ld almo/ say1 z ,mr4 ,?a*] once said1 ',i _h bett] live a %ort] life1 & a useful "o4' ,b ,i am n incl9$ to ?r[ away life ei!r2 ,i enjoy x mu*1 & ?9k x "r = all to endeavor to pres]ve x1 = we may all d "s good if we try1 & t is reason en\gh = keep+ x1 7 !re no enjoym5t to be _h2 z !re is1 ev5 = ! mo/ di/ress$4 ,b ,i mu/ leave y1 = ,i am n able to write m4 444 ,we buri$ ! de> little baby to-day1 :i* has be5 a wet1 uncom=table "o1 & ,i d n feel ! bett] = ! exposure1 b on ! :ole am v well2 no?+ b a trifl+ cold1 sc>cely wor? m9d+4 ,i feel ) y t x is z well1 if n bett]1 t ,i %\ld /ay4 ,b y mu/ n judge ( its importance by c\s9 ,jane's repres5tation2 h] w>m he>t runs away ) h] judgm5t :]e %e feels s mu*4 ,a truce ) y\r 'feel+s ( inf]iority4' ,:o scolds me = ! same feel+s8 ,x is ,pride1 my de>1 dep5d ^u x4 ,i "k x ( old4 ,d n let x triumph4 ,ev] s9c]ely y\rs1 ,m4 ,l4 ,p4 99 99 99 99 99 ,osmo!rly1 ,octob] #c1 #ahbe4 ,,my ,,de> ,,emma3-- ,i h j receiv$ y\r f>ewell bless+1 & c\ld y look 9 ^u me1 & "k ! peculi> circum/ances & situation 9 :i* ,i am plac$1 y w\ld n be surpris$ t x has made a v *ild ( me1 & t = ! "t ,i feel z if all my connection ) my home & its int]e/s 0 sev]$ by y\r dep>ture4 ,i w\ld n write "u ^! impressions1 = ,i "k x is a diseas$ /ate ( m9d1 did ,i n fe> t1 unless ,i improve ?is "o leisure ev5+1 ,i %all n h ano!r opportunity ( writ+ = a long "t2 & ,i "k y w be anxi\s to he> f me1 f ! uncom=table feel+ :i* y express at n receiv+ late lett]s4 ,i did at fir/ regret t ,i _h n writt5 ^u ! *ances ( y\r be+ deta9$1 b on ! :ole x 0 be/ t ,i did n1 = ,i c\ld n at any mom5t s9ce my la/ date h reliev$ y\r anxiety1 _h ,i told y ! tru?1 & ,i ?9k y\r imag9ation c\ld n picture any evil s bad z ! reality has be54 ,b to proce$ 9 ord]4 ,i wrote y la/1 ,i ?9k1 ! day aft] ! de> little infant 0 buri$1 & ,i believe ,i m5tion$ to y t ,i _h tak5 up my night qu>t]s ) my poor c\s9 ,bessy4 ,%e _h nev] be5 left alone s9ce h] husb& di$1 & n[ t %e _h no long] h] baby to occupy h] att5tion1 %e felt h] desolat5ess m =cibly4 ,i !re=e gave ! day to my aunt1 hav+ ,bessy & h] two little boys z mu* ) u z possible1 & pass$ ! night ) h]4 ,%e 0 ! mo/ pati5t suff]] ,i ev] saw2 n a ^w ( rep9+ ev] escap$ h]1 & %e w5t ab\t h] occupations & duties ) a /ead9ess :i* spoke a det]m9ation to sacrifice e selfi% consid]ation to ! good ( h] *ildr54 ,sc>cely a te> c\ld be se5 on h] *eek1 & a common obs]v] w\ld h accus$ h] ( want ( feel+1 if he _h n und]/ood t ! settl$ calm :i* sat ^u h] face might hide m real agony ?an is ev] %[n by any 's\nds ( woe4' ,h] resolution a/oni%$ h] fri5ds1 = !y knew h] to h a v timid & self-di/ru/+ "*1 & ! situation 9 :i* %e 0 ?us sudd5ly plac$ w\ld h appall$ ev5 a /\t he>t4 ,b ,i saw ! true /ate ( ! case4 ,:5 ! duties ( ! day 7 pa/1 & ! necessity = ex]t+ h]self ov]1 & all at re/ b ourselves1 %e felt at lib]ty to indulge h]self 9 talk+ ( t ( :i* %e w\ld n speak to any "o beside2 & ,i f\nd t :at seem$ ins5sibility 0 9 reality a degree ( =titude & resolution :i* ,i nev] saw equall$4 ,i ?\ght x be/1 too1 to enc\rage h] ?us to op5 h] he>t1 = ,i believe t conceal$ grief is always ! mo/ de/ructive to ! m9d1 & h] situation really requir$ ! advice & assi/ance ( any "o :o c\ld aid h]1 z %e 0 inexp]i5c$ & felt h] own defici5cies to a mo/ ov]p[]+ degree4 ,%e _h _h b little in/ruction ^u religi\s subjects1 & w\ld li/5 to my read+ ( ! ,scriptures1 & detail ( my own exp]i5ce ( ! p[] ( religi\s consolations1 z if a new light 7 op5$ to h] s\l4 ,i did n !n "k h[ mu* %e 0 affect$1 b ! read9ess ) :i* %e adopt$ advice ^u ! subject gave me mu* hope t x w\ld 9 "t become z valuable to h] z x _h be5 to me4 ,i told y t h] infant 0 only a =tnight old :5 h] husb& 0 tak5 ill1 & only a mon? :5 x di$4 ,its "m _h nev] recov]$ h] /r5g?1 & di/ress hav+ de/roy$ h] appetite1 & wat*+ depriv$ h] ( sleep1 %e 0 z ?9 & weak z possible1 & b ill able to be> ! consequ5ces ( ! sudd5 dea? ( ! *ild4 ,?is1 add$ to a cold :i* %e took1 made h] v fev]i%1 & ! abs5ce ( ! physician f t[n oblig$ h] to conf9e h]self to su* simple rem$ies z we c\ld prescribe1 to av]t fur!r evil & re/ore h] /r5g?4 ,b ! b5efit :i* %e d]iv$ f !m 0 b tempor>y4 ,a week f ! day ^u :i* h] baby di$1 :ile pass+ ! aft]noon ) u1 %e 0 tak5 v ill1 & x 0 ) great difficulty t h] bro!r & myself c>ri$ h] to h] own h\se1 only a few rods di/ant4 ,i lo/ no "t 9 adm9i/]+ ! prescriptions ( ! physician1 & = a few days %e seem$ to m5d2 b ,i soon felt conv9c$ t h] disease 0 ! wor/ =m ( typhus fev]1 & 0 sure t %e _h n /r5g? to get ?r\gh x4 ,! doctor confirm$ my suspicions1 b told me t su* 0 ! dread ( x among ! c\ntry p1 t1 if x 7 kn[n1 ,i %\ld be left to myself1 = no "o w\ld come ne> ! h\se4 ,i _h n !n requir$ any assi/ance1 = ,i 0 v well1 &1 kn[+ h] situation to be a critical "o1 did n l to tru/ h] to any "o beside4 ,by "s means1 h[ev]1 ! /ory 0 s\nd$ abroad & spread l wildfire1 & ! suspicion ( 7:at 0 9 fact ! tru?7 ! two bro!rs hav+ di$ ( ! same disord] add$ to ! evil4 ,! day aft] ,bessy 0 tak51 ,jemmy1 h] y\nge/ *ild1 a boy ( ?ree1 fell ill too1 & ?\gh x 0 d\btful :e!r :oop+-c\gh or typhus _h ! great] %>e 9 8 malady1 to ! fe>ful m9ds ( ! villag]s x 0 all "o & ! same1 & ! family 7 ?\ght to be doom$ to de/ruction4 ,"o by "o fell (f f com+ ne> ! h\se1 till ,i at la/ sc>cely saw a p]son except ! doctor dur+ ! day4 ,?is ,i did n m9d1 = ,i pref]r$ be+ con/antly ) my c\s91 & ! actual labor ( att5d+ h] 0 n great2 %e took b little1 & all ! help :i* ,i wi%$ = ,i _h4 ,%e di$1 h[ev]1 on ! #cj? ( ,septemb]1 elev5 days aft] %e 0 tak51 & dur+ t "t ,i _h nev] left h]1 night or day1 except to *ange my clo!s occasionally at my aunt's4 ,i _h wat*$ ) h] sev5 nights1 & be5 up "p ( e o!r2 = s accu/om$ 0 %e to my c>e1 t %e did n l to be t\*$ by any o!r p]son4 ,i _h s5t ! two little boys to _! gr&mo!r's1 & ! y\nge/ 0 v ill dur+ ! :ole ( 8 "m's sickness1 & /ill cont9ues s4 ,my c\s9's little cottage 0 s small1 t ,i felt unwill+ t any "o %\ld sleep 9 x1 le/ !y %\ld suff] f infection2 & (t5 did ,i sit up ) h] alone 9 ! h\se4 ,i _h be5 s expos$ to ! disease t ,i felt no fe>s = myself1 & ,i believe ?is help$ to pres]ve me1 & ! good doctor wat*$ me v n>r[ly4 ,i c\ld n 9 a mon? tell y half ! int]e/+ circum/ances att5d+ ?is try+ sc5e4 ,h] s5ses nev] =sook h] = a mom5t1 nor h] deep s5se ( gratitude to ,god = ! m]cies :i* he _h be/[$ on h] amid all h] suff]+s4 ,x seem$ to h] ,8 imm$iate provid5ce :i* _h s5t me to !m j at ?is "t1 & h] expressions ( affection & ?ankfulness 7 inde$ mo/ delightful to me4 ,x does appe> mo/ s+ul> t ,i %\ld h come j n[1 = ! fact is1 poor ,bessy w\ld h suff]$ = want ( a nurse1 beside _m o!r necess>ies1 _h ,i n be5 "h4 ,h] "m 0 fully occupi$ ) ! little boy1 & h] si/] too di/ant1 & ( too mu* importance at home1 to be ) h]1 & ! p ( ! place are too ignorant & fright5$ to h be5 all to h] t %e requir$4 ,x 0 necess>y to bury h] imm$iately2 & ?us is ?is family entirely brok5 up1 9 ! %ort space ( ?ree weeks1 by ! dea? ( bo? its heads4 ,%e left h] *ildr5 to my sole direction & c>e1 & ! settlem5t ( all _! affairs1 s t ,i h /ill mu* to d1 beside ! c>e ( ! sick *ild4 ,8 gr&mo!r is almo/ worn out ) x1 & left 8 "m's dea?-b$ only to nurse him4 ,i h n[ /ol5 away f him = an h\r to visit ?is des]t$ place1 & am sitt+ by ! fire 9 ! lonely p>lor1 )\t any o!r be+ 9 ! h\se b ! elde/ boy ( sev51 :o is amus+ himself by my side1 int]rupt+ me n[ & !n by say+1 ',c\s9 ,m>y1 y w let me live ) y1 wont y8' ,e ?+ is /ill )\t1 & s /rongly is my poor c\s9's voice associat$ ) e ?+ ,i see ar\nd me1 t x w\ld n require any v /rong ef=t ( imag9ation to fancy ,i /ill he>d h] bless+ me f :at is n[1 ,i tru/1 h] abode ( peace & joy4 ,b ,i mu/ n indulge myself 9 writ+ ab\t feel+s1 = ,i h mu* else to say2 b ,i really ?9k1 s9ce ! la/ solemn ev5+ t ,i sp5t alone 9 ! old oak p>lor 9 ,pe>l ,/reet1 ,i h nev] felt s =cibly ! mutability ( all e>?ly ?+s2 & _h ,i any "o to li/51 ,i c\ld talk all night ^u ! subject4 ,?is is by f> ! mo/ primitive1 unciviliz$ place ,i 0 ev] 92 ,i _c lik5 x to any ?+ ,i "k at home1 = ev5 ,wor?+ton has lawy]s & a cl]gyman's family to r$eem x2 &1 moreov]1 ! g5]al inhabitants ( our little t[ns h m in=mation & education ?an is to be f\nd 9 ^! out-(-!-way villages1 to :i* ! mod]n improvem5t ( national & free s*ools has n yet be5 ext5d$4 ,i am glad to see all ! v>ieties ( life1 b "u pres5t circum/ances ?is is a v solit>y "o4 ,7 x n = ! physician's visits1 :i* he k9dly makes e day1 ,i %\ld live totally )\t conv]sation 9 its true s5se4 ,! p are good & hone/-he>t$1 & treat me z if ,i belong$ to a high] ord] ( animals1--& ?is is a novel situation6 ,i am v free f compla9ts1 & take c>e n to d m ?an ,i feel able to1 & if ,i am sup]/iti\s 9 feel+ t ,provid5ce direct$ me hi!r at ?is "t1 x is a useful sup]/ition1 inasmu* z x gives me a feel+ ( security t ,i %all be guid$ & /r5g!n$ to accompli% ! "w appo9t$ = me4 ,d n fe>1 b hope & pray = me4 ,i _c tell y h[ mu* y\r visit to ,burcombe gratifi$ me2 y c\ld n h oblig$ me m1 = ,i %\ld h be5 s suspici\s t my own description ( x & its inhabitants might be a p>tial "o1 t ,i d\bt if ,i %\ld really h done !m ju/ice at home3 ,jane 0 z mu* pleas$ ) ! ef=t y made to see !m1 z any "o c\ld possibly be1 & m pleas$ ) ! visit itself ?an ,i *oose to tell y4 ,i h mo/ k9d lett]s f ! family at ,p5ri?1 (f]+ to come = me :5ev] ,i give ! ^w ( comm&2 x is a delightful re/ to look =w>d to1 b x w1 ,i fe>1 be long be=e ,i c avail myself ( x4 ,! ?\ghts ( home are to me n[ some?+ l ! dreams "o has ( heav51 9 ! twilight h\rs betwe5 sleep+ & wak+2 ,i d>e n =m any def9ite picture1 & yet ! idea w n be :olly disc>d$4 ,b ) s mu* ar\nd me to make me realize ! unc]ta9ty ( life1 & expos$ to actual dang] e mom5t1 h[ c ,i presume ev5 to hope8 ,may ,i be able to say f ! he>t1 ',?y w be done4' ,,m>y4 99 99 99 99 99 ,osmo!rly1 ,octob] #bc1 #ahbe4 ,my de> ,c\s93-- ,i wrote ,emma a hurri$ lett] a few weeks s9ce1 giv+ an acc\nt ( my poor c\s9's illness & dea?1 & !n hop$ t ,i %\ld soon be able to tell a happi] tale1 to relieve ! anxiety :i* t might h produc$4 ,b x is n yet 9 my p[]1 & ,i %\ld n v5ture to write at all1 did ,i n hope t all y\r uneas9ess on my acc\nt w f9d an antidote 9 ! confid5ce :i* daily exp]i5ce increases 9 my he>t1 t ,he ^: arm is mighty to save1 & :o has hi!rto protect$ me f all dang]1 w /ill ext5d to me 8 fa!rly c>e1 & guide & gu>d me "u all ! ev5ts ( 8 provid5ce4 ,y w readily believe t ,i h ne$ ( ?is confid5ce to /r5g!n me1 :5 ,i tell y t ,i am writ+ ?is by ! b$side ( ! elde/ ( ^? two de> little orphans :om my c\s9 left 9 my c>e4 ,8 little bro!r _h sc>cely recov]$ f 8 fev]1 :5 ,i 0 oblig$ to leave him to att5d ?is poor *ild ) ! same fev]1 & h n[ be5 = m ?an a week 8 sole nurse1 night & day4 ,b to give y an adequate idea ( ! peculi>ly try+ situation 9 :i* ,i h be5 plac$ = ! la/ sev5 weeks1 ,i mu/ recapitulate ! /ory1 :i* y may p]haps h ga!r$ 9 unconnect$ details f my lett]s to ,emma4 ,x is inde$ a melan*oly "o1 b proves to me mo/ pa9fully t our /eps are (t5times guid$ by a wisdom f above1 f> beyond our own limit$ conceptions4 ,y "k t "o ( my objects 9 com+ to ,engl& 0 to try to d some?+ m ?an ,i _h hi!rto be5 enabl$ to1 = ! com=t ( my poor old aunt1 & y w n !re=e be surpris$ t x 0 my fix$ resolution n to return until ,i _h an opportunity ( asc]ta9+ h[ to d ?is mo/ effectually4 ,:5 at la/ ,i did get "h1 x 0 ) ! expectation ( /ay+ only j long en\gh to see t %e 0 made com=table4 ,i knew no?+ ( h] family ev5 by "n1 & ( h]self only t %e 0 old & feeble1 & subject to fits ( extreme melan*oly4 ,i _h n any anticipations ( pleasure1 except f ! feel+ t ,i 0 do+ :at my de> fa!r w\ld h done1 & fulfill+ "o ( ! duties ( my life4 ,my fa!r _h be5 h] idol ?r\gh life1 &1 z ,i h n[ f\nd1 almo/ h] sole dep5d5ce2 h] *ildr5 c\ld d little = h]1 & ! relations %e _h 9 ,engl& knew no?+ ( h]4 ,%e 0 ( c\rse mo/ delight$ to see me1 & prep>$ to devote h]self ) all h] faculties to my com=t4 ,b1 poor body1 %e /ood 9 ne$ ( all t ,i c\ld d to com=t to h]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i h writt5 ?is 9 ! int]vals ( att5dance ^u ! little boy1 &1 z y may p]ceive1 at diff]5t p]iods1 = ,i seldom sit five m9utes at once4 ,x is n[ ! #be?1 & ,i am happy to say he is a little bett]2 b ,i sc>cely d>e hope1 he is ( s feeble a con/itution4 ,i left him ye/]day "u ! influ5ce ( opium1 s t ,i 0 sure he w\ld n miss me1 to g to ,nor? ,all]ton1 sev5 miles di/ant1 to meet old ,mr4 ,mc,adam & my c\s9 ,s----1 :o _h come f ,p5ri? 9 _! c>riage = me4 ,!y did n come hi!r1 fe>+ t /rang]s w\ld be b intrud]s 9 su* di/ress1 b /opp$ at ,nor? ,all]ton1 & s5t an express to me on ,sunday night1 begg+ me to return ) !m if possible1 = !y _h kn[n ( all ! sickness :i* surr\nd$ me1 & fe>$ ,i %\ld suff] f contagion4 ,x 0 mo/ k9d 9 !m1 & ,i %\ld h be5 mo/ happy = ! release c\ld ,i h gone ) an easy consci5ce4 ,b x w\ld h be5 worse ?an inhuman to h left ?is poor little suff]]1 beside t mu* ( ! bus9ess :i* ,i h und]tak5 is unf9i%$1 & ,i %\ld n ?9k ,i _h done my duty until ,i _h settl$ ^! orphans p]man5tly4 ,b ,i ?\ght ,i ought to g to !m to expla9 ?is1 z ,i %\ld h be5 afraid to h _h !m come "h1 & ,i took a *aise & pass$ ! day ) !m4 ,my pati5t did n wake up en\gh to "k ,i 0 away1 & x 0 q a refre%m5t to me4 ,am ,i n mo/ =tunate to h su* k9d fri5ds 9 ?is /range l&8 ,x is a com=t to feel t ,i h su* a re/+-place :5 my labors "h are ov]1 & *e]s me ev5 9 ?is mo/ solit>y ( all ! situations 9 :i* ,i h ev] be5 plac$4 ,7 x n = ! good little doctor :o att5ds my pati5ts1 ,i "k n :at ,i %\ld d4 ,my c\s9 _c leave home = an in/ant1 & my poor aunt is ov]:elm$ ) all ^! di/ress+ ev5ts1 add$ to ! cont9ual trial :i* ! melan*oly "y man is to all ( u4 ,i get on )\t mu* fatigue1 h[ev]1 & h n yet be5 oblig$ to sit up all night2 & ) ! sleep :i* ,i get :5ev] ! little fell[ is quiet1 ,i d v well4 ,he has be5 v mu* out ( 8 head ! great] "p ( ! "t1 b v pati5t :5 he is s5sible4 ,x is n[ t5 days s9ce he became ill1 & y may suppose he is some:at atta*$ to 8 c\s9 by ?is "t1 & ,i to him4 ,o1 if y c\ld look 9 ^u me1 :at w\ld y say6 99 99 99 99 99 ,octob] #cj4 ,y w\ld pity me n[ if y c\ld look ^u me1 = ,i h ?is night clos$ ! eyes ( ! de> *ild :om ,i 0 wat*+ :5 ,i wrote ! above4 ,he seem$ bett] daily aft] my la/ date1 & on ,friday1 ! #bh?1 sat up & appe>$ 9 e respect on ! recov]y2 8 appetite 0 good1 8 fev] r$uc$1 & 8 /r5g? improv+4 ,he awoke on ,saturday e>ly1 & begg$ = 8 breakfa/1 ate a light "o1 & fell asleep4 ,8 nose _h bl$ a little ! ev5+ be=e1 b n mu*2 b ab\t elev51 he sudd5ly ?rew (f f 8 /oma* su* a quantity ( blood1 z prov$ to u t !re 0 "s int]nal rupture 9 ! head4 ,?is cont9u$ ?r\gh ! day & night1 increas+ 9 viol5ce4 ,no e>?ly p[] c\ld save him2 all 0 done t c\ld be1 b c]ta9 spots :i* appe>$ ^u him soon aft] ! ble$+ comm5c$ decid$ ! physician t he c\ld n live4 ,he l+]$ until ?is ev5+1 & di$ f absolute exhau/ion at t5 o'clock1 ( :at is call$ spott$ fev] "h2--& ,i laid ) him aft] ! spots _h come out1 )\t kn[+ :at !y meant4 ,x is a great %ock1 = ,i felt almo/ secure t he 0 gett+ bett]1 & 8 poor gr&mo!r is ne>ly di/ract$4 ,?is seems to affect h] m ?an all2 be+ "u h] own ro(1 x is br\ght m home to h] s5ses1 & x is inde$ %ock+ to lose five ( "o family 9 s %ort a "t4 ,i am sitt+ up1 :ile a woman1 :o has be5 ) me ?r\gh ?is dreadful day1 gets a little re/ by ! side ( my aunt2 b z ,i 0 up la/ night1 ,i am 9 su* an agitat$ /ate t ,i am n fit to write4 ,to h se5 f\r human be+s die 9 ! %ort space ( eight weeks is en\gh ( itself to solemnize "o's m9d2 b ) all ! additional circum/ances :i* h att5d$ ^!1 no wond] t my he>t is full to ov]fl[+4 ,?is 0 a f9e boy1 & y "k t ! ende>+ ways ( a sick *ild are mo/ engag+ "u any circum/ances1 & :5 t *ild is an orphan1 & dep5d5t ^u "o's self entirely1 ! int]e/ is inde$ int5se4 ,i nev] met ) s viol5t a case ( fev]1 & ! poor suff]] 0 s5sible to ! la/ ( all its horrors4 ,"o _c inde$ lam5t = him1 = he w\ld h probably _h b a h>d life4 ,little ,james is n[ inde$ alone 9 ! _w1 happily too "y to be consci\s ( 8 loss2 b x is v affect+ to ?9k ( 8 be+ depriv$ ( fa!r1 "m1 & two bro!rs 9 eight weeks1 & left s p]fectly alone4 99 99 99 99 99 ,novemb] #b4 ,i add a l9e to say t ,i am q well1 !re=e d n feel anxi\s ab\t me4 ,!re are v _m cases ( ! fev] 9 ! village1 & z ,i am almo/ ! only p]son 9 x :o is n afraid ( infection1 ,i /ill h full employm5t 9 assi/+ ! poor suff]]s4 ,my c\s9's little niece is /ill v ill4 ,i h inde$ be5 wond]fully pres]v$ & /r5g!n$4 ,heav5 save me f presumption1 b ,i _c help feel+ t ,i c\ld n h liv$ ?r\gh all t ,i h1 unless ,god _h protect$ me4 ,y\rs affectionately1 ,m4 ,l4 ,p4 ,we ne$ n attempt to add any ?+ to ?is simple & affect+ n>rative ( ev5ts t seem to belong to a m remote place & p]iod ?an ,engl& & our own day4 ,) all _! naturalness & ! /amp ( reality1 x w\ld n be difficult--z inde$ has be5 done--to clo! !m ) ! drap]y ( fiction1 & weave !m into a romantic1 improbable tale4 ,b ! tale is n all told4 ,! sc5e %ifts at ?is po9t1 only to be succe$$ by ano!r n unlike1 nor f> ap>t4 ,ne> ! end ( ,novemb]1 ,m>y 0 releas$ f pres5t duty at ,osmo!rly1 took a reluctant leave--yes1 ) h] g5]\s & cl++ affections1 a reluctant leave--( ! family 9 :i* %e _h clos$ ! eyes ( five memb]s1 & 0 c>ri$ by eag]1 anxi\s fri5ds to ,p5ri?4 ,!re1 9 ! bosom ( a *>m+ h\sehold already kn[n & de> to h]1 e ?+ )9 & )\t pres5t$ z /rong a contra/ to ! situation %e _h j left1 z words c\ld express4 ,h] own words give u "s idea ( x1 9 ! fir/ lett] %e wrote aft] leav+ a place associat$ ) images ( dang] & dea?1 & leav+ x1 z %e suppos$1 = ev]4 ,b ! v next lett] aft] t surprises u ) ! old date ( ,osmo!rly2 & we f9d t h>dly a mon? _h pass$ be=e %e 0 recall$ to ! same spot1 ! same pa9ful responsibilities1 & f> great] dang] ?an be=e1 z ! result prov$4 ,b aga9 we leave h] to tell h] own /ory4 ,p5ri?1 ,cumb]l&1 ,novemb] #bi1 #ahbe4 ,,my ,,de> ,,c\s93-- ,aft] all my melan*oly lett]s f ,osmo!rly1 y w be glad to receive "o ( ano!r date1 & "u happi] circum/ances4 ,my la/ lett] 0 j aft] ! dea? ( ! de> little boy1 & ,i !n ?\ght ,i %\ld be able to leave !re v %ortly2 b x 0 n until ! #bf?1 7aft] ,i _h be5 !re twelve weeks in/ead ( ! ?ree :i* ,i int5d$ :5 ,i w5t17 t ,i c\ld arrange matt]s s t ,i c\ld give up my *>ge consci5ti\sly2 &1 aft] all my ef=ts1 ,i c\ld n succe$ 9 settl+ ! bus9ess = my poor1 un=tunate c\s94 ,i left x1 h[ev]1 9 a fair way = completion1 clo!d ! de> little orphan = ! w9t]1 & plac$ him ) 8 aunt1 mak+ all ! arrangem5ts :i* my limit$ means all[$ = 8 future support2 & not)/&+ ! incessant trial :i* ,i _h !re1 ,i assure y x 0 n )\t _m pa9ful feel+s t ,i took leave ( ! place1 = ev]4 ,i _h be5 = ! la/ five weeks con/antly ) my aunt1 & c\ld n be> to leave h] 9 ! solit>y situation to :i* %e 0 r$uc$ by ! dea? ( s _m ( h] family4 ,my de> little ,jamie _h become an object ( affection to me1 height5$ to an extreme degree1 s9ce he 01 l myself1 left )\t p>5ts or bro!r or si/]4 ,i long$ to take him z my own1 = he is a *ild ( v uncommon capacity1 & ,i fe> w n h ! education :i* he des]ves4 ,b ,i c\ld only commit him 9 fai? to ,him :o is ! ,fa!r ( ! fa!rless1 :o w n suff] ev5 ! lea/ ( 8 creatures to want 8 c>e4 ,i ?9k ,i nev] %all =get 8 screams ( agony :5 he saw me drive away2 ,i ?\ght 8 little he>t w\ld bur/4 ,b *ildi% sorr[ is soon ov]1 & he w =get me long be=e ,i %all cease to love him4 ,accord+ to an arrangem5t previ\sly made1 my c\s9 ,s---- met me at ,greta ,bridge1 9 h] gr&fa!r's c>riage4 ,i came to t place on ,?ursday 9 a po/*aise1 pass$ ! night1 & came on hi!r ! next day1 s t ,i _h only ab\t ?irty miles to ride alone1 & z ,i got a po/boy f ! neighborhood to drive me all ! way1 ,i felt p]fectly safe1 & f\nd no inconv5i5ce :atev]4 ,no?+ c exce$ ! k9dness ( ?is family to me2 inde$1 ,i am made to feel t ,i am at home ) !m z if ,i _h always belong$ to !m4 ,aft] all ,i h _h to suff]1 x is almo/ l ! re/ ( ! ,sabba? to ! we>y labor]1 & if k9dness & pett+ w cure "o1 ,i %all soon recov] all ,i may h lo/ dur+ my dreadful siege at ,osmo!rly4 ,to be sure1 ,i am almo/ bewild]$ at ! *ange f con/ant anxiety & labor to a /ate ( p]fect idl5ess & indulg5ce1 b ,i w try & make a good use ( x2 & ,i feel s entirely conv9c$ t ?is mo/ amaz+ pres]vation ( my life mu/ be = "s useful end1 t ,i ?9k ,i nev] c fall into an ins5sible or cold /ate aga94 ,i 0 almo/ glad to /ay f "h1 until ,i 0 q sure ,i _h n suff]$ f infection1 = al?\gh ,i _c feel mu* fai? 9 ! doctr9e ( contagion1 ,i w\ld n run any risk ( communicat+ ! disease to o!rs4 ,x is ! op9ion ( _m physicians "h1 7& my little doctor among ! numb]17 t *ange ( air may br+ out ! fev] :i* w\ld lie dormant 9 ! sy/em = a long "t )\t x1 & he w>n$ me n to feel too secure until ,i _h tri$ x4 ,b ,i d n yet feel any symptoms2 weak & we>y ,i am1 b n fev]i%1 & hav+ no fe> am ! m safe4 ,b d n ?9k ,i am s mu* occupi$ by ! di/resses ,i h exp]i5c$ "h1 z to be unm9dful ( ^? :i* h visit$ my fri5ds at home4 ,y\r lett] ( ! #bj? ( ,octob]1 & ,ann's ( ! #ah?1 rea*$ me on ! #af? ( ,novemb]4 ,! acc\nt ( poor ,m>ia's dea? %ock$ me v mu*1 & made me long to fly home1 t ,i might1 if possible1 d some?+ = h] de> little *ildr54 ,i wi% ,i c\ld assi/ !m1 & feel t !re is no "o ( ! family to :om ! duty ( do+ x is s great4 ,i beg y w use my "n 9 any case 9 :i* y ?9k ,i c\ld act ) usefulness1 & if ,god sp>e me to return to y1 ,i promise y ,i w fulfil all y may engage = me to ! be/ ( my p[]s4444 ,x tires me s mu*1 t ,i c sc>cely write intelligibly4 ,god bless y6 ,,m>y4 99 99 99 99 99 ,osmo!rly1 ,decemb] #ca1 #ahbe4 ,,my ,,de>e/ ,,fri5d3-- ,i h (t5 welcom$ ?is anniv]s>y ) delight2 b "u all ! v>i\s circum/ances 9 :i* x has f\nd me1 ,i ?9k ,i nev] felt ! value ( ! privilege :i* x gives me ( writ+ to y m deeply ?an ,i d at ?is mom5t4 ,b ,i w fir/ acc\nt to y = my be+ aga9 at ?is place1 ! v "n ( :i* is no d\bt by ?is "t associat$ 9 y\r m9d1 z x is 9 m9e1 ) images ( dang] & dea?4 ,( ! ev5ts :i* took place dur+ my =m] visit "h1 y h no d\bt be5 in=m$ by my lett]s to ,bo/on1 & ( my dep>ture f x1 z ,i ?\ght = ev]1 = ! hospitable abode ( my k9d fri5ds at ,p5ri?1 :]e ,i 0 enjoy+ mu* :5 ,i la/ wrote home4 ,i int5d$ /ay+ ) !m until ! middle ( ,janu>y1 :5 ,mr4 ,mc,adam's appo9t$ j\rney s\? w\ld secure me an escort to ,birm+ham1 & ,i 01 among o!r ?+s1 anticipat+ writ+ ?is "u ! influ5ce ( ! same mo/ delightful society :i* 0 op]at+ ^u my m9d on ?is night la/ ye>4 ,b ,i 0 doom$ 9 ?is1 z 9 _m m important conc]ns1 to feel ! unc]ta9ty ( all calculations = ! future2 = on ! #bc;d ( ,decemb] ,i receiv$ a lett] f ! physician ( ?is place1 writt5 at ! reque/ ( my aunt1 :o 0 app>5tly dy+ ( typhus fev]1 begg+ me if possible to let h] see me once m4 ,i knew !re 7 _m reasons :i* made x important t ,i %\ld come1 if t 7 inde$ h] situation2 & at ! advanc$ age ( sixty-eight1 ) a mo/ feeble frame1 ,i c\ld n d>e to expect a favorable t]m9ation4 ,! risk ( return+ to su* an infect$ region 01 ( c\rse1 mu* great] ?an my =m] resid5ce !re1 b ?us summon$ ,i c\ld n hesitate1 & my good fri5ds1 ev5 m fe>ful & anxi\s ?an ,i 01 c\ld n attempt to dissuade me4 ,x 0 inde$ an appall+ und]tak+1 kn[+ s fully ! evils to :i* ,i 0 com+ :i* c\ld n be avoid$1 & all t might ensue c\ld n be kept out ( sight4 ,x 01 ,i assure y1 ) _m solemn ?\ghts1 ?\gh hid by *e]ful looks1 t ,i took my leave1 probably = ev]1 ( t good family1 & got into ! mail alone on ! morn+ ( ! #bf?4 ,my r\te lay across ! dre>y hill ,/anmoor1 &1 z ,i _h n ev5 a s+le companion ! :ole eighty miles hi!r1 y may be sure my cogitations 7 _m & v>i\s4 ,among o!r ?+s1 ,i 0 /ruck by ! s+ul> co9cid5ce :i* has always giv5 to ,*ri/mas week a peculi> int]e/2 nei!r c\ld ,i fail to consid]1 on recollect+ ! v>i\s circum/ances t _h occurr$ 9 x1 h[ deep 0 my debt ( gratitude to t ,be+ :o _h guid$ me ?r\gh !m all 9 safety4 ,de> ,n----1 ?is is an ov]:elm+ ?\ght1 & "o :i* e day's exp]i5ce =ces ^u my m9d ) increas+ p[]1 a p[] ( :i*1 x seems to me1 x w\ld h be5 impossible to conceive "u any o!r ?an ! v peculi> circum/ances 9 :i* ,i h be51 &1 x w\ld seem1 am /ill doom$ to live1 :ile 9 ?is c\ntry4 ,imag9e me1 at ?is di/ance f all to :om ,i h be5 accu/om$ to look = dep5d5ce1 a be+ alone 9 creation almo/1 lit]ally alone 9 ?is /range l&1 mak+ an excursion ( eighty miles across ! c\ntry1 p>tly 9 coa*es1 p>tly 9 po/*aises1 )\t a be+ to protect me or appeal to1 & ^u su* an err&1--& yet z safe z if a ho/ 7 escort+ me1 calm1 quiet1 & p]fectly easy z if ,i 7 tak+ a ride to ,h+ham2 & !n tell me1 if ! confid+ _s :i* our sacr$ religion creates 9 our s\ls is n wor? all t we c\ld possess besides4 ,i arriv$ "h 9 eight h\rs aft] ,i left ,p5ri?1 & f\nd ! poor old lady r bett]1 & n a little delight$ t ,i _h c>$ en\gh = h] to come4 ,%e has _h _m & sev]e trials ?r\gh life1 to :i* ^? ( ! la/ summ] 7 b a sequel4 ,i 0 ! only "o ( h] own relations ) :om %e _h come 9 contact = _m ye>s1 & ! poor s\l's he>t w>m$ t[>ds me ) ! :ole =ce ( h] long %ut up affections4 ,i at once in/all$ myself z sole nurse 9 ! v room 9 :i* ,i _h wat*$ ! progress ( disease & dea? ^u t poor *ild1 ^: case ,i m5tion$ 9 my lett] to ,emma2 & "h am ,i n[ writ+ y by ! light ( a ru% c&le1 ) my little "w-box = a desk1 almo/ afraid to brea! le/ ,i %\ld di/urb my aunt's slumb]s4 ,we two are ! only be+s 9 ?is little cottage1 = ,i h s5t h] sons out to sleep1 z a precaution aga9/ ! fev]1 & put a b$ into ! corn] ( ! room = myself4 ,c\ld y see me act+ 9 ! f\rfold capacity :i* ,i adopt 9 ?is humble cottage1 y w\ld h>dly believe me to be ! same be+1 :o1 a week ago1 0 in/all$ 9 all ! honors ( a privileg$ visitor1 amid ! luxuries ( ,cockel ,h\se1 act+ 'lady' solely1 to ! utmo/ ( my ability4 ,x amuses me to f9d h[ easily x all sits ^u me1 & h[ readily we may adapt ourselves to v>ieties ( situation & f9d some?+ to enjoy 9 all4 ,aunty is mu* bett]1 & ,i ?9k !re is a good *ance = h] recov]y1 at lea/ to z good a /ate ( heal? z %e 0 9 be=e ?is illness4 ,i feel little evil 9 ! contra/1 great z x is to myself1 except a slight cold1 :i* ! v sudd5 *ange 9 ! wea!r1 f w>m & damp to excessive cold1 has br\ght me4 ,! fields to-day are cov]$ ) sn[1 ! fir/ "t ,i h se5 !m s 9 ?is c\ntry1 & x look$ s homei%1 & s mu* l y\r happy home ! la/ "t ,i saw x1 t ,i h be5 enjoy+ ! sight highly to-day1 :ile e "o beside 0 look+ blank at x4 ,i am 9 "o respect m com=table ?an :5 ,i 0 "h be=e1 = ,i h "o companion4 ,! 'little doctor' has 8 only si/] to keep 8 h\se1 & %e has already made h]self mo/ important & agreeable to me2 %e has only be5 "h a week1 & be+ z mu* a /rang] z myself1 we h "s feel+s 9 common4 ,%e is a v lovely little creature1 tw5ty-"o only 9 ye>s1 b old] 9 exp]i5ce4 ,h] mann] is suit$ to ! /yle ( h] face1--g5tle1 w9n+1 & at ! same "t indicat+ cultivation & elegance ( m9d4 ,)\t ! slighte/ %ade ( affectation or consci\sness ( beauty1 %e n only gives me a new /udy ( "*1 b is a mo/ conv5i5t & pleasant associate2 liv+ 9 ! next h\se b "o1 ,i c call ^u h] at any mom5t4 ,some?+ always comes to me 9 all situations to prove to me ! c>e :i* is tak5 ev5 ( ! mo/ insignificant2 & surely ! :ole ( my exp]i5ce 9 ?is place has be5 b a cont9u$ lesson ( x4 ,inde$1 ,i c]ta9ly h great cause ( ?ankfulness1 = t only d>k passage 9 my progress s9ce ,i left home1 try+ z x 01 0 full ( admonition4 ,x %[$ me a "p ( ! great plan ( creation ( :i* ,i knew little or no?+ be=e1 a class ( be+s ^: *>act]s1 duties1 motives1 & views ,i _h nev] be=e und]/ood2 & above all1 x %[$ me h[ p]fectly ! v>i\s l9ks 9 ! great *a9 ( exi/5ces are adapt$ to aid1 & /r5g!n1 & apply to ea* o!r1 add+ ano!r to ! _m pro(s ( ! ,supreme ,wisdom :i* =m$ & gov]ns all4 ,! only remnant ( my poor c\s9 ,bessy's family is a boy ( j ,william's age2 he 0 ill at ! "t 8 "m di$1 & became my imm$iate *>ge until 8 bro!r 0 tak5 sick1 & grew s fond ( me t x 0 long be=e ev5 8 aunt1 :om he _h be5 us$ to see+1 c\ld make him cont5t to be sep>at$ f me4 ,he is a v engag+ *ild1 bright1 & ( a noble disposition & temp]4 ,! simil>ity ( our situations 0 en\gh to make me feel m ?an common t5d]ness = him1 8 dep5d5ce ^u me increas$ x1 & 8 /rong atta*m5t to me complet$ x4 ,i ?9k ,i nev] felt s mu* = a little creature be=e1 & 7 x n = ! great di/ance ,i %\ld h to take him1 ,i nev] w\ld leave him beh9d4 ,i ?\ght he w\ld h brok5 8 little he>t :5 ,i drove away1 & :5 ,i came back 8 ec/asy 0 really affect+2 he ran r\nd me1 jump$ up 9 my lap1 /rok$ & kiss$ my face1 z if he c\ld n tru/ to ! evid5ce ( "o s5se1 & at la/ bur/ out a cry+1 ',uncle ,mady wont g away aga92 ,uncle ,mady live ) ,jamie e day1 wont y1 ,uncle ,mady8' ,he _h always a trick ( call+ me ',uncle4' ,d n ?9k ,i am made melan*oly by all ?is4 ,i h no recollection ( ev] hav+ ! same degree ( good spirits z ,i h be5 bless$ ) = ! la/ six mon?s1--,i may say n9e2 & save my long+ = home1 ,i h _h no cause to wi% any "o ?+ relat+ to me diff]5t f :at x has be54 ,god grant t ,i may n be tempt$ to great presumption6 ,i hope my wi%es are humble1 ?\gh my confid5ce may be great4 ,may ,god be ) y1 my de> fri5d1 & guide & gu>d1 & bless y1 ?r\gh ! ye> on :i* we h n[ ent]$1 & = ev]1--is ! e>ne/ pray] ( y\r s9c]e ,,m>y4 ,b ) all h] *e]fulness1 & self-=gett+1 h]oic c\rage1 ,m>y 0 n pro( aga9/ dang] & disease4 ,x is well = u to le>n t ! laws ( nature are n susp5d$ nor div]t$ f _! c\rse1 ev5 by ! /ronge/ fai?1 or = ! sake ( ! mo/ noble & useful labor]4 ,su* a labor] !re 0 "h2 b x 0 h>dly to be expect$ t %e w\ld pass unh>m$1 ! second "t1 ?r\gh su* exposure1 fatigue1 & pa9ful anxiety4 ,if ! transition 0 great1 at fir/1 f t b>r5 & com=tless place to ! luxuries ( ,p5ri?1 ! *ange back aga9 mu/ h be5 peculi>ly try+4 ,%e speaks ( ! diff]5ce betwe5 ! two places z equal to t betwe5 ! mo/ sumptu\s dwell+ 9 ,bo/on & ! f>m-h\se at ,bru% ,hill4 ,nay1 ! contra/ !re 0 yet great]2 = ! common cottages 9 ,york%ire _h no floors = ! fir/ /ory1 except ( clay & s&4 ,su* 0 ! h\se 9 :i* all t previ\s sickness & dea? _h occurr$1 & 9 :i* ! nurse & s]vant ( all n[ f\nd h]self aga94 ,s5d+ away to ano!r h\se ! melan*oly & moan+ "y man1 & fix+ up a b$ = h]self 9 a corn] ( h] aunt's small room1 %e endeavor$ to keep h]self f ! night air1 p>ticul>ly z ! wea!r1 aft] a long c\rse ( w>m ra9s1 became int5sely cold4 ,b 9 va9 did %e %un exposure4 ,!re 0 "w to be done out ( doors z well z 91 & no "o b h]self to d x4 ,a sudd5 & sev]e cramp seiz$ h]1 & %e at la/ fell ^u ! floor1 :5 alone 9 ! night1 & !re lay a long "t1 utt]ly helpless1 /riv+ to make h] groans he>d by "s "o 9 or out ( ! h\se4 ,?is left h] 9 a /ate ( extreme debility1 f :i* no?+ c\ld = a long "t raise h]4 ,%e w\ld make x appe> a light matt] :5 x 0 ov]1 b x is evid5t1 f h] own expressions & o!r facts1 t %e 0 9 great dang]4 ,p5ri?1 ,febru>y #aj1 #ahbf4 ,,my ,,de> ,,emma3-- ,y\r la/ lett] 0 a cordial to me1 & came at a "t :5 ,i greatly ne$$ x2 = ,i 0 actually suff]+ "u all ! evil :i* y 7 fe>+ = me :5 y wrote x1--conf9$ to ! *amb] ( t little cottage :i* ,i h describ$ to y1 weak & languid1 ! m]e %ad[ ( :at ,i 0 :5 ,i p>t$ f y4 ,b = ! cause & effect ( my la/ visit to ,osmo!rly ,i mu/ ref] y to my lett]s to ,n4 ,c4 ,p4 & ,mrs4 ,b----2 y "k ,i _c be> to tell ! same tale twice1 m especially if x be a melan*oly tale4 ,b d n imag9e me to h be5 9 a v =lorn & disconsolate pr$icam5t1 = ,i _h _m bless+s to rejoice 9 all ! :ile4 ,! sun %one brightly all ! day full ^u ! w9d[s ( our com=table1 neat ap>tm5t1 furni%$ ) :at1 9 h] =m] prosp]\s days1 _h be5 ! furniture ( ! 'sp>e *amb]' 7! museum ( preci\s articles1 y "k7 ( ,aunty's 'bi5 h\se'2 ,aunty sitt+ by ! fire 9 h] easy *air1 h] bright eyes gli/5+ ) ! exhil>ation ( return+ heal?2 & my lady%ip ly+ on ! b$1 ?9 & pale en\gh ,i grant1 b 9 z high glee z /r5g? w\ld p]mit1 & n = "o m9ute depress$2 if any *ange came1 x 0 = ! bett]1 & my nurses rem>k$ t my wor/ days 7 my gaye/ ones4 ,!n ,i _h two visits ea* day f ! 'little doctor1' ! v ess5ce ( good-humor & *e]fulness1 & z ,i _h 9 reality b little pa91 ,i c\ld manage to enjoy a good deal4 ,besides1 ,i _h ! com=t ( a female companion1 ) :om ,i c\ld associate ) some?+ l equality ( feel+4 ,?is 0 ! si/] ( ! 'little doctor1' :o _h j come to ,osmo!rly to keep h\se = him4 ,my de> little ,jemmy1 too1 0 a s\rce ( great amusem5t & delight to me2 he _h improv$ ev5 9 ! %ort "t ,i _h be5 f him1 & %[$ "s new & int]e/+ trait e "t ,i saw him4 ,i left all beh9d me1 h[ev]1 on ! #cj? ( ,janu>y1 n )\t _m regrets z y may believe1 = ,i felt x 0 n[ c]ta9ly = ev]2 & no "o c "p f ^? :o h be5 k9d to ! utmo/ ( _! p[]1 h[ev] small t p[] may be1 )\t sad feel+s4 ,?is is c]ta9ly a great drawback ^u ! pleasure "o takes 9 travell+1 & ,i sometimes ?9k1 :5 ! "t comes t ,i mu/ d ! same to all ,i h kn[n "h1 ,i %all wi% ,i _h nev] come4 ,b ,i d n l to ?9k ( x4 ,i am inde$ mu* bett] ?an ,i c\ld h d>$ to hope1 b ,i always ga9 fa/ if at all1 & ?is week ( eat+ has made a great *ange 9 me4 ,i _c tell y h[ ,i rejoice at ?is1 = ,i began to be he>tily tir$ ( my fictiti\s "*2 ,i did n realize my id5tity :5 toddl+ ab\t1 cat*+ hold ( *airs & tables l a *ild j go+ alone1 z ,i did la/ week2 ,i long$ to %ake myself ( ! encumbrance1 or t ! sc5e w\ld drop1 & let me scamp] away1 ,m>y ,pick>d aga94 ,i am glad y h se5 ?is h\se1 = x w aid y\r imag9ation a little2 b y c sc>cely conceive ( ! appe>ance ( com=t :i* p]vades ?is room z x is n[ arrang$4 ,! g5tlem5 h all des]t$ u1 & j n[ ,aunty ,george1 ,sel9a1 & ,i are seat$ 9 true sp9/] /yle r\nd a l>ge fire 9 ! draw+-room up /airs1 7:i* by ! way 0 any ?+ b com=table :5 y saw x17 ,aunty at full l5g? ^u ! s(a read+ on "o side1 ,sel9a on ! o!r writ+1 & ,i 9 ! front do+ ! same1 at ! same table ) h]4 ,ar\nd u are arrang$1 9 ! mo/ conv5i5t places1 piano1 fl[]s1 tables cov]$ ) books1 writ+-desks1 c41 ottomans ditto1 all sorts ( com=table *airs1--easy1 rock+1 c42 9 ! corn]s1 %elves ) collections ( %ells1 m9]als1 & o!r odd ?+s1 to say no?+ ( ! liv+ ornam5ts4 ,x is ! v picture ( com=t1 & ,i c\ld tell y ( c]ta9 s5sual luxuries :i* make _! appe>ance ^u ! c5tre-table1 "s ?ree1 f\r1 five1 or p]haps six times a day1 n[ t ,i am prohibit$ f desc5d+ to ! d9+-room2 b t w\ld de/roy ! intellectual *>m :i* mu/ hang r\nd ! image ( ,aunty ,george4 ,mrs4 ,mc,adam writes me t %e receiv$ y\r lett]1 & really beg9s to imag9e h]self a 'mon/r\sly agreeable woman4' ,y mu/ h giv5 h] a good dose1 ,i ?9k4 ,%e has be5 9 a f9e tak+ ab\t ?is illness ( m9e1 b is cool+ a little1 n[ %e f9ds ,i am n satisfi$ ) less ?an f\r meals p] day4 ,h[ %amefully ,i h treat$ ,emma's k9d lett]2 b !re is no end to my wick$ness ( ?is sort4 ,i mu/ n beg9 ) confessions1 b end !m by confess+ myself v tir$1 & ev] y\r s9c]e fri5d1 ,m4 ,l4 ,p4 99 99 99 99 99 ,erd+ton1 ne> ,birm+ham1 ,m>* #c1 #ahbf4 ,,my ,,de> ,,c\s93-- ,i h cont9u$ to ga9 /r5g? daily s9ce ,i la/ wrote4 ,miss ,mc,adam pass$ a week 9 ,liv]pool1 dur+ :i* "t ,sel9a & ,i kept h\se at ,cockel2 & aft] pass+ my la/ few days !re 9 ! mo/ delightful mann]1 ) all ! good inmates1 ,i left !m on ! #bf?4 ,mr4 ,mc,adam k9dly insi/$ on com+ by ! way ( ,erd+ton1 t ,i might n be oblig$ to travel all ! way alone4 ,we f\nd a great *ange on ?is side ! hills ( ,we/morel&2 ! grass is gre51 & e ?+ putt+ =?1 ! lambs bleat+ & ! birds s++ z if x 7 ,may4 444 ,i _h giv5 ,mr4 ,b---- notice ( my int5tion to come to him at ?is "t1 & f\nd him look+ out = me ev5 at ! gate1 ) *>act]i/ic impati5ce1 on ,tuesday ab\t noon1 & n a little delight$ to see me at la/4 ,y "k h[ /rongly atta*$ he 0 to my fa!r & "m1 & inde$ to ! :ole family2 8 en?usia/ic feel+s h fully reta9$ ! remembrance ( :at he enjoy$ ) !m1 & any "o :o belong$ to !m w\ld h be5 mo/ welcome to him4 ,besides ?is1 he us$ to pet me1 & took a great deal ( pa9s to tea* me1 & ,i ?\ght ! little body w\ld h lo/ 8 wits :5 he saw me2 he is a k9d-he>t$ man1 & ) all 8 peculi>ities "o _c b respect & love him4 ,y may rememb] :at a little oddity he 0 9 appe>ance :5 he 0 9 ,bo/on1 & ,i assure y increas+ ye>s h n at all less5$ 8 peculi>ity4 ,8 face is n1 ,i ?9k1 alt]$ 9 ! lea/2 8 hair is /ill a bright br[n1 cut z %ort z scissors c d x1 ^u :i* he usually m\nts a small sailor's wove hat1 f b5ea? ! n>r[ rim ( :i* 8 little bright1 gray eyes tw9kle 9 a mo/ animat$ mann]4 ,8 common dress is a pepp]-&-salt frock-coat1 :i* has be5 app>5tly 9 ! s]vice _m long ye>s1 ! wai/ ( :i* j divides 8 height1 com+ d[n to ! *air :5 he sits2 a /raight1 long wai/coat ( ! same mat]ials1 & a color$ neck]*ief ti$ z tightly z possible r\nd 8 little neck2 bree*es ( purple-cord$ velvet1 fa/5$ at ! knee ) a little /eel buckle1 :ite wor/$ /ock+s1 & a pair ( :at h be5 long lea!r gait]s1 pu%$ d[n ov] ! ankles a la negligee4 ,fancy ?is little odd figure mov+ ab\t z briskly z if he 7 a boy j loose f s*ool1 ! vivacity ( 8 mann] & looks correspond+ exactly ) ! quickness ( 8 motions1 & y h my little fri5d ,mr4 ,b----4 ,y w\ld ?9k all ?is mu/ be ludicr\s1 b x is n4 ,!re is s mu* good s5se & k9d feel+ ab\t him1 & s mu* real b5evol5ce 9 8 mann] t[>ds e "o1 t all 8 peculi>ity is =gott5 9 a v %ort "t4 ,he is "o ( ! mo/ intellig5t1 ent]ta9+ m5 ,i ev] met )1 & c]ta9ly "o ( ! mo/ w>m-he>t$4 ,he has pass$ a v unsettl$ life s9ce he left ,am]ica1 & is n[ liv+ 9 a poor cottage1 q out ( ! way ( all society1 ) no amusem5t b 8 little g>d51 :i* he cultivates entirely himself1 & a f9e libr>y ( mo/ valuable books4 ,?is is q en\gh = him1 & he seems z happy & cont5t$ z possible1 because he is indep5d5t4 ,8 sanctum is m l gr&pa's ?an any ,i ev] saw2 he rem9ds me ( him 9 _m ?+s1 & we h talk$ ov] old times until ,i h fanci$ myself "y aga94 ,y may =m "s idea ( my /r5g?1 :5 ,i tell y ,i 0 ye/]day tempt$ by ! pleasure ( my own company to a walk ( eight miles1 & did n suspect ,i _h done half ( x4 ,i h inde$ recov]$ my /r5g? rapidly1 & d n c>e ab\t ! fle%4 ,i believe ,i am z well z ,i ev] 01 & %\ld =get t ,i _h be5 ill1 7 x n = c]ta9 feel+s ( ineffici5cy & reluctance to move1--! consequ5ce ( ! indulg5ces ,i h _h1 ,i presume4 ,i h inde$ _h en\gh to make a spoil$ *ild ( me1 _h ,i n be5 "o be=e4 ,x is no light burd5 ^u my m9d1 t ,i c d no?+ to %[ my gratitude = all ! k9dness ,i h receiv$ "h4 ,i d beg9 to dread p>t+ = ev] f all ^! good fri5ds2 b d n ?9k t any ?+ c efface ! remembrance ( :at ,i owe my de>e/ fri5ds at home4 ,,m>y4 99 99 99 99 99 ,london1 ,may #bf1 #ahbf4 ,,my ,,de> ,,mrs4 ,,b>n>d3-- ,mr4 ,bond _h a lett] ye/]day f ,mrs4 ,b4 ( ,april #ba/1 9 :i* %e says y _h he>d ( my illness at ,osmo!rly4 ,i am glad to rememb] t y w\ld at ! same "t he> ( my entire recov]y1 & ,i hope be=e ?is y h receiv$ o!r lett]s to tell y h[ complete 0 t recov]y4 ,x is inde$ ov]p[]+ to me1 :5 ,i look back ^u ! ev5ts :i* h tak5 place s9ce ,i came to ,engl&4 ,h[ _m & great h be5 ! bless+s :i* h att5d$ me6 ,i /aid "h ) ,mrs4 ,bates f ! #d? to ! #cj? ( ,april1 see+ & do+ v dilig5tly1 &1 ) ,mr4 ,pa9e's assi/ance1 exam9+ _m ( ! wond]s & curiosities ( ?is great place1 :i* ,i _h n be=e se54 ,i !n w5t to ,*a?am to make my f>ewell visit to my c\s91 ,mrs4 ,/okes1 int5d+ to /ay only a =tnight2 = ,i did n !n "k at :at "t precisely ,mr4 ,palfrey int5d$ to emb>k = home1 & 0 mak+ my arrangem5ts to be ready ! latt] "p ( ,june at ! f>!/4 ,i 0 n1 h[ev]1 able to return at ! "t ,i int5d$1 = ,i 0 attack$ v viol5tly ) spasms f be+ v bili\s1 & ! heavy doses adm9i/]$ by ! physician kept me h\s$ = m ?an a week4 ,i return$ to t[n on ,monday la/1 ! #bb;d1 & came aga9 to ,mrs4 ,bates1 z %e begg$ me to make h] h\se my home 9 ,london1 z long z ,i /aid4 ,i 0 v mu* we>i$ ) ! j\rney1 & ,mr4 ,palfrey & ,mr4 ,bond1 :o came 9 soon aft]1 ?\ght ,i mu/ be ill1 & may say s1 b ,i assure y ,i am n4 ,i ga9 /r5g? v fa/1 &1 z a pro( ( x1 ,i 0 ne>ly sev5 h\rs on my feet ye/]day1 )\t food1 & n fatigu$ by x4 ,i %all /ay "h only j long en\gh to see ! fri5ds ,i h ab\t ,london1 & pack up my duds = ! voyage1 & !n g to ,a% & ,uncle ,b5 = a few days1 & !nce to ,burcombe to /ay z long z ,i c4 ,i feel n[ t my "w "h is f9i%$ 7t is1 all ! mo/ important "p1--,i c\ld f9d en\gh to d 7 ,i to /ay ev] s long17 & ,i assure y ,i %\ld feel mo/ impati5t ( delay beyond ! "t appo9t$4 ,mr4 ,bond br\ght me ,mr4 ,*ann+'s ,review f himself2 y may believe ,i 0 n a little pleas$ t he %\ld ?9k ( me4 ,i beg y w ?ank him = me4 ,h[ ,i %all enjoy he>+ him1 if su* a bless+ is 9 /ore = me6 ,love to y & ! h\sehold4 ,m4 ,l4 ,p4 ,dur+ ! progress ( ev5ts record$ 9 ^! diff]5t lett]s1 cov]+ ! space ( a :ole w9t]1 we c imag9e t "s anxiety 0 felt by fri5ds on bo? sides ( ! wat]4 ,communication ) remote t[ns & obscure hamlets1 ev5 9 ,engl&1 0 n frequ5t or easy2 & across ! ocean we all "k h[ diff]5t 0 ! correspond5ce !n & n[4 ,accord+ly1 we f9d ! deepe/ solicitude express$1 & pa9ful susp5se1 9 bo? l&s4 ,! mann] 9 :i* ! ,engli% fri5ds write %[s ! ext5t ( ,m>y's dang]1 z well z ! am\nt ( h] s]vices & _! exalt$ & t5d] e/imate ( h] wor?4 ,we are n 9 possession ( z _m lett]s f ,engl&1 relat+ to any p]iod1 z we h wi%$ to obta92 & ! few we h we hesitate to use freely1 because ( _! allusions to dome/ic incid5ts & p]sons :o may be /ill liv+4 ,b abundant is ! te/imony1 if we ne$ x1 to _! appreciation ( ,m>y's "*1 w>m & en?usia/ic _! love & admiration4 ,a few s5t5ces we take f ! lett]s ( ,mrs4 ,mc,adam1 ! ',aunt ,jane' s (t5 nam$1 to a fri5d "h4 ,octob]1 #ahbe4 ,i h a lett] ?is morn+ f our bless$ ,m>y1 dat$ ! #c;d ( ,octob]4 ,%e has laid h] poor c\s9 9 ! grave1 aft] a =tnight's illness1 dur+ :i* "t %e appe>s to h be5 h] sole nurse4 ,i dread %e is do+ f> m ?an %e c be>4 ,! y\ng] ( ! two boys left is tak5 ill1 & %e talks ( tak+ him home to nurse him2 b ,i %all by ?is po/ write ,miss ,mc,adam to s5d = h] & insi/ on h] removal4 ,h] life is ( s mu* m consequ5ce ?an any :i* are n[ left1 t ,i c no long] hesitate4 ,y1 :o love h] z well z ,i d1 c imag9e my uneas9ess4 ,re/ assur$1 h[ev]1 t ,i w keep y in=m$ ( e ?+4 ,:5 %e wrote1 %e said %e _h s mu* to d %e c\ld n write home1 & begg$ me to write4 ,n[1 my de> fri5d1 all we h to d is to rely on t ,god :o ord]s all ?+s = ! be/1 & to :om ,i con/antly & ard5tly pray t ,he w\ld sp>e & rew>d our & ,8 own ,m>y1 to guide m ( u to ,him2 & ,i feel com=t$ :5 ,i rely ) confid5ce on ,8 love & wisdom4 ,%e is su* a bless+1 t ,i w\ld fa9 hope ! re/ ( my days may be influ5c$ by h]4 ,f ! same3-- ,novemb]1 #ahbe4 ,s9ce ,i la/ wrote y1 my de> ,emma1 ,i h _h v>i\s acc\nts f our incomp>able ,m>y4 ,i feel mu* anxiety on h] acc\nt1 = :i* ,i h be5 frequ5tly reprov$ by h]1 ^: high] feel+s & bett] regulat$ judgm5t give h] su* wond]ful advantage ov] me1 & s con/antly produce 9 h] ! tranquil security ( inw>d peace4 ,%e is s excell5t1 & s truly set 9 ! mid/ ( difficulties1 t x sometimes appe>s to me z if %e _h be5 graci\sly l5t to u = our guide to t heav5 :i* we all pret5d to seek4 ,:5 %e wrote1 %e 0 p]fectly well2 b ?\gh our fri5ds w5t = h]1 %e w\ld n leave = sev]al days1 le/ %e %\ld take ! disease ) h] to ,p5ri?4 ,i d>e n say ,i wi% %e 7 remov$1 = all is assur$ly = ! be/1 h[ev] x may appe> to our imp]fect m9ds4 ,i feel confid5t %e is ! peculi> c>e ( ! ,god %e loves & s]ves2 b :5 %e gets to ,p5ri?1 ,i "k ,i %all be almo/ too happy4 ,h] m9d has tak5 su* complete possession ( my affections1 t ,i appe> to myself a new creature2 ,i h totally *ang$ s9ce ,i became actually acqua9t$ ) h]4444 ,our correspond5ce w n drop "h1 ,i hope2 & ,i may at "s future p]iod give y a fa9t idea ( ! int]e/ %e has excit$ = e ?+ t lives & brea!s h] atmosph]e4 ,f ! lett]s writt5 9 ,am]ica at ?is "t1 to ,m>y or h] fri5ds 9 ,engl&1 _m t\*+ passages might be borr[$4 ,h[ mu* is convey$ 9 a s+le fact communicat$ to h]1 at ! mom5t ( ! greate/ anxiety6 ,) all _! desire = y\r return1 nobody murmurs2 e body says x is mu* bett] = y to /ay4 ,& ,mrs4 ,b>n>d says1 :5 %e express$ h] sorr[ ab\t x to ,dr4 ,*ann+1 he gave h] = ! only "t 9 8 life almo/ an angry look6 ,! writ] ( ?is passage1 :5 at la/ assur$ ( ,m>y's p]fect safety aft] all h] labors & p]ils1 s5t h] su* a full1 he>ty outp\r+ ( joy & love1 t we mu/ be p>don$ = cit+ a "p ( x1 z %[+ ! dep? ( ! int]e/ %e awak5$ & ! affection %e secur$4 ,,my ,,de>e/ ,,live ,,m>y6-- ,! pleasure & gratitude ,i feel 9 ! confid5ce ,i n[ h t ,i am writ+ to an inhabitant ( ?is _w1 y c sc>cely imag9e4 ,! dread ,i felt ab\t y\r fate weigh$ ^u me s heavily1 9 spite ( all ! reason+ & hope ab\t :i* ,i s$ul\sly employ$ myself1 t x 0 a great ef=t to write2 & ,i fe> our lett]s ( late h n s]v$ to animate y4 ,i %all n ent] ^u ! long hi/ory ( my anxiety1 :i* 0 inw>dly great] ?an any body's1 ,i believe1 because ,i knew m ab\t x4 ,i w only tell y1 t a "q ab\t y 0 sure to damp ! be/ spirits ,i c\ld be 92 & if p ,i visit$ und]took to talk ab\t y1 x 0 a signal = my call to t]m9ate4 ,at "o "t1 ,i det]m9$ n to g to t[n till ,i he>d f y1 b 0 induc$ to alt] my plans1 & did g & pass a mon?1 do+ all ,i c\ld to be at ease1 & act+ j z if ,i knew y 7 safe2--h[ y want to scold me = us+ t ^w6 z if y c\ld be any ?+ b safe 9 ! h&s ( y\r ,god1 & :5 y 7 s]v+ him to ! utmo/ ( y\r p[]4444 ,on ,monday night1 ! #ac? ( ?is mon?1 ,m----1 ,e---- ,b----1 & ,i f\nd our way to ,milton ,hill 9 ! 'ev5+ coa*4' ,! next day1 t mo/ valu$ ( c\ri]s1 ! milkman1 br\ght u a bundle f ,pe>l ,/reet2 two lett]s fell out on op5+ x1--"o f ,exet]1 ! o!r f ! ,s&wi* ,isles1--a long "o f ,b----1 :i* ,i employ$ all ! daylight 9 read+4 ,w\ld y believe me s insatiable1 :5 "o su* bless+ z he>+ f t di/ant spot ( e>? _h be5 all[$8 ,i 0 n yet satisfi$1 al?\gh we _h left t[n b ! day be=e2 pres5tim5t drove me to ! pile ( clean clo!s on ! floor1 :5 my h& made its way ?r\gh ! *aos to a lett]6 ,"m says x 0 ! s5se ( feel+ t discov]$ x to be y\rs1 = ! room 0 q d>k4 ,i ne$$ b half a glimm] ( fire-light to %[ me ! *>act]s ,i _h s long$ & pray$ to see once m4 ,i scree*$1 ',m>y ,pick>d6' & flew to ! kit*5 fire to assure myself /ill f>!r2 & nev]1 de>e/ ,m>y1 did ,i feel a w>m] flood ( joy & gratitude ?an :5 ',p5ri?1 #h? ,decemb]1' conv9c$ me y 7 alive & well1 & 9 j ! h&s y ought to be6 ,& :5 ,i came to "k1 too1 t my fe>s _h n be5 unf\nd$1 t y _h s n>r[ly escap$1 _h pass$ ?r\gh su* try+ sc5es1 & done m1 mu* m1 ?an almo/ any body ev] did be=e1 ,i 0 too happy6 ,?\gh y don't tell me s1 ,i "k "u su* circum/ances :at ef=ts y made4 ,b y h e>n$ ! privilege ( be+ an in/rum5t1 9 ! h&s ( ! ,all-p[]ful1 ( good to e human be+ y come 9 contact )4 ,& :5 ,i knew ?is1 :y did ,i feel s =lornly :5ev] ,i ?\ght ( y 9 t remote place1 alone1 & expos$ to fatigue & illness8 ,if x _h be5 y1 h[ mu* high] views w\ld y h tak56 ,,emma4 ,s end$ ! visit to ,engl&4 ,h[ unlike mo/ visits !re6 ,x is n (t5 t two ye>s are sp5t abroad *iefly 9 conf9em5t ) ! sick & devotion to ! dy+4 ,we wond] n t ,m>y ,pick>d ?\ght t su* employm5t 0 h] de/9y4 ,m appropriate does ! ^w seem ?an ! common t]m1 mission2 = t expresses too mu* ( design & consci\sness to be associat$ ) h]4 ,%e project$ no l>ge plans1 or di/ant ent]prises4 ,%e simply held h]self ready = ! "w to :i* %e might be summon$1 abroad z well z at home1 & ) an ambition z easily satisfi$ at home z abroad4 ,all h] m9i/rations might seem to h be5 accid5tal1 if any ?+ 7 accid5tal2--! occasions s\ght h]1 m ?an !y 7 s\ght by h]4 ,yet 9 "s way or o!r ! occasions 7 sure to appe>1 & equally sure to be us$4 ,nor 7 h] *>ities m]ely ^? ( ! h&1 or ( "t & toil alone4 ,!re 0 b5evol5ce1 z well z dilig5ce4 ,no "o knew1 no "o w ev] "k1 ! am\nt ( h] direct gifts at ,osmo!rly4 ,b we "k1 f v>i\s s\rces1 t !y 7 free & l>ge4 ,& by no means 7 !y re/rict$ to h] k9dr$4 ,!re is reason to believe t ! :ole village %>$ h] b\nty2 9 mod]ate measure1 ( necessity1 b 9 decid$ lib]ality4 ,f ! nature & p[] ( ! disord]1 a g5]al panic prevail$1 aggravat$ by ignorance & sup]/ition1 & foll[$ by improvid5ce & want4 ,we h se5 ! /atem5t1 t a l>ge proportion ( ! inhabitants ei!r p]i%$ or became helpless & a burd54 ,& :5 ! suff]+s ( h] own connections ceas$1 by dea? or recov]y1 ,m>y w5t out to d :at %e c\ld among ! diseas$ & de/itute g5]ally4 ,%e toil$ till ! al>m abat$1 & aim$ p>ticul>ly to remove f ! m9ds & dwell+s ( ! p ^? fruitful fe$]s1 if n s\rces1 ( ! calamity1--sup]/ition & uncleanness4 ,is x too mu* to believe1 t ,osmo!rly w always feel ! bless+ ( t ,provid5ce :i* s5t !re ! good lady8 ,x 0 a beautiful t]m9ation ( h] :ole exp]i5ce among t p1--^: v dialect diff]$ s mu* f h]s1 t !y c\ld sc>cely und]/& h] words1 b easily read h] actions1--t1 :5 %e recov]$ h] own /r5g? suffici5tly to take a f9al leave ( !m1 ! :ole village came out 9 a body1 "y & old1 & escort$ h] on h] way4 ,,viii4 ,,new ,,relations4 ,m>y ,pick>d return$ f ,engl& 9 ! summ] ( #ahbf1 & 0 w>mly welcom$ by h] _m fri5ds 9 ,bo/on4 ,h] la/ home be=e go+ abroad _h be5 at ,miss ,b5t's 9 ,wa%+ton ,/reet1 :]e %e n[ w5t1 & /ay$ ?r\gh ! fall & w9t] ) ! exception ( %ort visits to fri5ds 9 ! vic9ity4 ,?rong$ ) visitors1 & occupi$ ) bus9ess ( h] own :i* %e nev] left to o!rs if %e c\ld d x h]self1 %e _h no "t = l>ge correspond5ce1 & we f9d few lett]s = "s mon?s4 ,b !re are brief notes :i* %[ ! fulness ( h] enjoym5t & gratitude1 enhanc$ by ! recollection ( ! try+ sc5es ?r\gh :i* %e _h pass$1 b :i* %e r>ely nam$ & nev] magnifi$1 z we are assur$ by "s :o 7 con/antly ) h]4 ,! m]cies ( ! pa/1 m ?an ! trials1 fill$ h] ?\ghts4 ,my :ole abs5ce has be5 b a succession ( m]cies1 = :i* ,i c\ld n 9 a long life %[ ! gratitude ,i feel2 & ?is ! greate/ ( all1 ! safe re/oration to my belov$ home & bless$ fri5ds1--x is inde$ ov]:elm+4 ,i h be5 borne ?r\gh afflictive trials by t ,p[] :i* alone c enable u to be> !m2 may ,i also f9d ! same /r5g? suffici5t to keep me firm & un9jur$1 amid ! great] trial ( prosp]ity & joy4 ,?is 0 said to "o ( h] =m] in/ructors 9 ,h+ham1 ) :om %e sp5t a week 9 ,novemb]1 reviv+ ! memory ( ! fir/ awak+ ( ! m9d to high & holy ?\ghts & resolves4 ,to ! trial ( prosp]ity ( :i* %e speaks1 %e may h be5 expos$ at ?is "t1 if at any4 ,%e _h return$ aft] a long abs5ce1 9 :i* %e _h accompli%$ all t %e propos$1 & m ?an to mo/ m9ds w\ld h seem$ possible4 ,%e 0 aga9 9 ! mid/ ( ende>$ & delight$ fri5ds1 m free f c>e & solicitude = o!rs ?an %e _h ev] be5 be=e2 h] society s\ght by a l>g] circle ( devot$ & admir+ acqua9tance1 pay+ h] m>k$ att5tion4 ,!re 0 e ?+ to gratify1 & mu* to flatt]4 ,& %e 0 happy1 v happy1--m lively & joy\s1 ,i ?9k1 ?an at any "t ( h] life1 writes an intimate fri5d4 ,b %e did n rema9 long unemploy$1 or live = h]self4 ,%e s\ght o!r objects ( int]e/1 places & ways ( labor+ = ^? 9 ne$4 ,%e took classes ( poor *ildr5 9 m ?an "o ,sunday s*ool1 & visit$ ! h\ses ( ! poor dur+ ! week2 ( sev]al families 9 ,sea ,/reet %e is said to h tak5 p>ticul> c>e ?r\gh t fir/ season1 ?\gh a season cr[d$ ) engagem5ts ( fri5d%ip & society1 & occupi$ be=e its close ) an unexpect$ & absorb+ int]e/4 ,! la/ night ( ! ye>1 ,m>y made "o ( t great congregation :o li/5$ to t disc\rse ( ,,h5ry ,,w>e on ! ,duty ( ,improvem5t1 :i* few :o he>d h =gott51 & ( :i* "o he>] has said1 ,no words f mortal lips ev] affect$ me l ^?4 ,we may conceive ! emotions ) :i* !y 7 he>d by h]1 9 ^: m9d religi\s conc]ns 7 always p>am\nt1 & :o already1 z we h reason to believe1 0 compell$ to feel a p]sonal int]e/ 9 ! prea*]4 ,= we n[ approa* t ev5t :i* is consid]$ ! crisis ( a woman's life1 & :i* 0 c]ta9ly to *ange ! :ole aspect ( a life t 0 felt to be peculi>ly insulat$4 ,b we may be anticipat+4 ,no engagem5t yet exi/$1 & 9 ! lett] writt5 aft] ! s]vices ( ! la/ night to "o :o 0 nev] =gott5 on t occasion1 !re is no allusion to new ev5ts1 unless 9 ! close4 ,bo/on1 ,decemb] #ca1 #ahbf4 ,7 ,i by y\r side1 de>e/ ,n----1 ,i might be able to satisfy myself by talk+2 b :5 ,i ?9k ( committ+ to pap] :at ,i wi% to say to y1 ,i am almo/ disc\rag$1 & h a great m9d to give up ! attempt4 ,i d v]ily believe ,i %\ld = once play truant1 & %ut up my desk1 did ,i n fe>1 %\ld ,i d s1 t ! gho/ ( ! dep>t+ ye> w\ld />t up 9 visible =m be=e me & pron\nce a fe>ful mal$iction ^u me = my apo/asy4 ,inde$1 s w$d$ am ,i to old cu/oms1 & really sup]/iti\s ab\t ! fulfilm5t ( c]ta9 v[s1 t ,i %\ld n d>e to hope = peace or prosp]ity = ! ye> to come1 if ,i all[$ myself to yield to ! tempt]4 ,:5 ,i look back only ^u ! pa/ mon?1 ,i feel z if x 7 ! "w ( an age to give y any idea ( its int]e/2 & :5 ! ye>1 nay1 ye>s1 ( :i* ,i wi% to speak come 9 array be=e my m9d's eye1 x is n /range t ,i "k n h[ to beg91 or h[ to conf9e myself to ! limits ( a %eet ( pap]4 ,y "k1 h[ev]1 en\gh ( ! circum/ances ( ! pa/ ye> to und]/& some?+ ( ! feel+s :i* ?is p]iod has br\ght ) x4 ,p]haps ,i am incl9$ to exagg]ate ! peculi>ity ( ! ev5ts ( my life1 :i*1 aft] all1 may h be5 no m excit+ ?an e body meets )2 b be t z x may1 !re c be no h>m 9 magnify+ ! bless+s4 ,& z !re is m hope ( atta9+ a high degree ( excell5ce1 if our /&>d ( comp>ison be high 7ev5 if x be beyond our rea*71 s ,i w hope t ! m enl>g$ is our e/imate ( our subjects = gratitude1 ! m deep & he>tfelt w our gratitude be4 ,x does seem to me1 t no be+ c h m = :i* to give ?anks1 ?an ,i h 9 pa/ & pres5t bless+s2 & t no "o c fall z f> %ort z ,i d ( ! effect t %\ld foll[ su* a belief4 ,i h be5 read+ ! lett] ,i 0 writ+ y at ?is "t la/ ye>1 & x does make me tremble to ! v s\l1 :5 ,i contra/ my situation n[ ) :at x !n 01 to ?9k h[ mu* is requir$ ( "o1 :o has be5 sav$ f su* p]il1 & br\ght back to s mu* good4 ,b x is 9 va9 to attempt to tell y :at ,i ?9k or feel at ?is h\r4 ,"o idea above all ! re/ w rise1 & ?is y w jo9 me 91--t ! pro(s :i* ! exp]i5ce ( ! pa/ ye> gives ( ! nev]-ceas+1 all-suffici5t c>e ( ,god %\ld make u look =w>d ) p]fect tru/ to :atev] ! future may br+1 )\t a d\bt t all w be well t ,he directs1--t our weakness w be /r5g!n$1 our fe> remov$1 & our spirits su/a9$ & soo!d "u all trials1 if we w b re/ 9 fai? ^u 8 almighty arm4 ,i h felt ?is s mu*1 t ,i _h begun to be presumptu\s1 & almo/ ?\ght t no possible temptation c\ld make me d\bt its suffici5cy4 ,b ,i d>e n hope s mu*4 ,i f9d !re are temptations ( :i* ,i h hi!rto kn[n no?+1 & "u ! influ5ce ( :i* ,i may h to le>n a new lesson4 ,x is said ( ,bi%op ,sewell1 :o once mo/ /rangely dep>t$ f 8 fai?1 t 8 fall 0 necess>y to tea* him humility1 & improve 8 "*4 ,p]haps x may be s ) me4 ,if ,i d fall1 ,i hope x may h ! same good effect4 ,i h wi%$ to-day1 z ,i (t5 d1 t y c\ld h an e> :]e m9e 04 ,mr4 ,*ann+ gave u a mo/ useful s]mon ?is morn+ ^u ! (fice ( ,*ri/1 f ! words1 ',i am ! way1 ! tru?1 & ! life4' ,mr4 ,gannett ?is aft]noon ^u ! retrospect ( ! pa/1--good & solemn4 ,& ?is eve1 not)/&+ ! viol5ce ( ! sn[-/orm1 ,mr4 ,w>e's h\se has be5 fill$ to ov]fl[+1 to he> 8 usual address4 ,x 0 "o ( ! mo/ eloqu5t & impressive ,i ev] he>d f him2 a p[]ful exhortation on ! necessity ( ,progress1 deliv]$ ) an en]gy :i* gave x great effect4 ,i h he>d b "o ( ^? disc\rses be=e ?is1 b ,i %\ld ?9k x a mo/ pr(itable s]vice4 ,! occasion is c]ta9ly "o by :i* all :o are capable ( feel+ s]i\sly mu/ be solemnly impress$2 & ! great int]e/ :i* is g5]ally felt 9 ,mr4 ,w>e gives him ! p[] ( mak+ a good use ( su* a pr$isposition4 ,& n[ t x is possible t he may accept ! call to ,new ,york1 8 influ5ce is great] ?an ev]4 ,i h pass$ a quiet1 delightful week at ,h+ham1 made my long talk$ ( visit to ,mrs4 ,p----1 & return$ on ,*ri/mas day to be quiet at home 7if possible7 until ,i g to y2 & yet ,i ought to be /ation>y = a "t = bus9ess' sake4 ,i ne$ n tell y h[ mu* y h be5 9 my ?\ghts dur+ ! pa/ week1 s /rongly are all ! s+ul> ev5ts :i* h tak5 place 9 x associat$ ) y4 ,x has n be5 suff]$ to pass )\t its own special int]e/2 to me x has inde$ be5 full4 ,mo/ he>tily y\rs1 ) be/ wi%es = ! com+ ye>4 ,m4 ,l4 ,p4 ,! ye> #ahbg op5$ ^u ,m>y diff]5tly f any previ\s ye> ( h] life4 ,its fir/ mon? 0 to witness ! consummation ( a purpose1 :i* c\ld n be lightly reg>d$ by a m9d l h]s4 ,/range t x c be by any6 ,yet we h su* reason to fe> x1 t we deem x a suffici5t apology1 if any be ne$$1 = disclos+ h] own ?\ghts at ?is "t m fully ?an might o!rwise seem "r4 ,sure we are ( h] p]mission1 ^: conv]sations on ! =m+ ( a connection s (t5 made ! subject ( trivial je/+ 7 z free z !y 7 s]i\s4 ,by no?+ e>?ly is ! social or moral community m deeply affect$ ?an by ! preval5t views ( ,m>riage1 & ! feel+s ) :i* its mom5t\s obligations are assum$4 ,& :5 !re are reveal$ to u by dea?1 "u t seal ( sacr$ness :i* deep5s our conviction ( _! s9c]ity1 su* s5tim5ts z ^? :i* ,m>y ,pick>d br\ght to ?is relation1 our view ( duty1 & ev5 ( delicacy1 moves u to imp>t r ?an )hold !m4 ,n t we suppose !m peculi> to h]1 or t %e has giv5 !m any rem>kable expression4 ,!y may be common to e "r & e>ne/ m9d4 ,b v>i\s consid]ations prev5t _! be+ publicly pres5t$ ) t p]sonal reality :i* adds s mu* to _! p[]4 ,?ankful w\ld all be1 & none m ?an ^? p]fect$ spirits ( :i* we n[ speak1 if ! "y & ! mature w\ld take exalt$ & sob] views ( ! holie/ & happie/ relation 9 life4 ,m>y's views 7 express$ to h] two mo/ intimate female fri5ds1 ! same night2 to "o 9 a %ort note1 to ! o!r m at l5g?4 ,janu>y #cj1 #ahbg4 ,de>e/ ,emma1 ,i am n will+ t any o!r ?an my own p5 %\ld communicate to y ! ev5ts ( ?is day4 ,i w\ld n t y %\ld ?9k x possible = me1 "u any circum/ances1 s f> to lose my id5tity z to be unm9dful ( ! feel+s ( "o :om ,i s love2 & ?\gh x requires "s ef=t1 ,i w d ! ?+ ) my own h&4 ,"k1 !n1 de> ,e41 t a *ange has pass$ ov] ! _s ( my e>?ly dreams1 &1 in/ead ( ! self-dep5d5t1 self-gov]n$ be+ y h kn[n me1 ,i h le>n$ to look to ano!r = guidance & happ9ess2 &1 m ?an t1 h b\nd myself1 by an irrevocable v[1 to live = ! future 9 ! ex]cise ( ! great & responsible duties :i* su* a connection inevitably br+s ) x4444 ,y ne$ no explanation1 nor h ,i "t to give any2 x w\ld require "o ( our long nights to trace ! rise & progress ( ! influ5ces t h ?us t]m9at$4 ,at pres5t1 ! idea ( ! *ange ,i am mak+ is s solemn1 s appall+1 t my faculties are almo/ p>alyz$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,bo/on1 ,janu>y #cj1 #ahbg4 ,,my ,,de> ,n----3 ,i h be5 sitt+ ) ?is %eet be=e me = ! la/ half-h\r1 try+ to f9d out 9 :at way to beg9 ! long & ev5tful /ory :i* ,i wi% to convey to y\r m9d z cle>ly z ,i see x 9 my own4 ,i am 9 tru? h>dly able to write at all1 f absolute exhau/ion ( body & m9d1 & !re=e am driv5 to ! necessity ( beg9n+ at ! end ( ! *apt]1 le/ ,i %\ld n h "t to tell ! :ole4 ,w x be an entire surprise to y to he> t ?is day has be5 to me ! mo/ important ( my :ole life1 ! turn+-po9t ( exi/5ce1 ! witness ( my solemn & irrevocable promise to unite = ! future my fate ) t be+1 :o1 :5 we la/ met1 ,i ?\ght 0 doom$ to be a /rang] to me = ev]8 ,x seems1 inde$1 l a dream1 & yet x is true1 dreadfully true1 t ,i h tak5 ^u myself great & unkn[n duties = :i* ,i feel incompet5t1--true t ,i h ga9$ ! be/ bless+ life c give4 ,y ne$ no explanation to tea* y ! progress ( ?is 9 my own m9d1 = y "k me well en\gh to read x )\t book1 & y may easily imag9e h[ ,i feel at su* a crisis4 ,o1 x is solemn1 x is awful1 ?us to b9d "o's self = life6 & yet ,i am consci\s my :ole he>t is ) ! act1 & my happ9ess intimately dep5d5t ^u x4 ,?is feel+ ( di/ru/ & fe>fulness w soon pass away4 ,i h n be5 us$ to its int]f]5ce 9 any case :]e ,i h kn[n x 0 my duty to act2 x is only :5 we seem to h ! direction ( ev5ts 9 our own h&s1 t ! feel+ ( d\bt z to :at is duty weak5s our confid5ce 9 our success4 ,y w say1 feel+ mu/ be ! guide2 & s x mu/ s f> z ?is1 t we may be sure t t pa? is n ! "r "o to :i* x does n impel2 b !re is dang] ( its tempt+ to ! wrong "o not)/&+1 & x _c be safe unhesitat+ly to foll[ its impulses4 ,mr4 ,w>e goes to ,new ,york on ,?ursday1 = f\r weeks1 to prea*2 he w1 ,i suppose1 return by ! way ( ,nor?ampton1 & ,i hope y w n object to a visit f him on ! way4 ,b ,i mu/ put an end to ?is4 ,i am 9 tru? unable to write m4 ,y\rs mo/ truly1 ,m4 ,l4 ,p4 ,! relation ?us view$ by a ,*ri/ian woman has (t5 "o aspect1 z 9 ! pres5t in/ance1 :i* is ?\ght m delicate & unapproa*able ?an any o!r4 ,m>y 0 to take ! place1 n only ( a wife1 b ( a /ep-"m1--a "n t %\ld be r$eem$ f ! inconsid]ate & unju/ odium to :i* x is commonly subject$4 ,:y %\ld t odium atta* to ?is1 m ?an to all unfai?ful use ( ! conjugal relation8 ,does n ?is1 ! m difficult (fice1 exhibit proportionably z _m noble wives & true mo!rs z ! o!r8 ,accord+ to ! difficulty & ! delicacy1 is ! greatness ( ! tru/ & ! m]it ( fidelity4 ,let honor be r5d]$ :]e honor is due2 & let no vulg> prejudice or unk9d pr$iction hide a beauty & excell5ce ( woman t are less r>e ?an may be suppos$4 ,9 aid ( ^! ?\ghts1 z well z 9 illu/ration ( ! "* we are del9eat+1 we are glad to be all[$ to quote f two lett]s ( ,h5ry ,w>e himself2 ! fir/ be>+ ! same date z ,m>y's j giv51 ! o!r writt5 aft] a m intimate acqua9tance4 ,!y are bo? address$ to 8 si/] at ,nor?ampton1 to :om he _h confid$ ! c>e ( 8 *ildr5 :ile !y 7 )\t a "m4 ,! "m :om !y _h lo/ ?ree ye>s be=e _h left a void n easily fill$4 ,a woman ( m ?an common qualities & p[]s1 doom$ = sev]al ye>s to m ?an ord9>y suff]+ f an insidi\s & fatal disease1 %e _h /ill giv5 mu* "t to ! p>i%1 & dis*>g$ to ! la/ ! duties ( a wife & "m1 ) a fidelity & affection ^: loss 0 v griev\s1 & 0 felt m & m by ,mr4 ,w>e f ! necessity ( sep>ation f 8 *ildr51 & _! own gr[+ ye>s & ne$s4 ,we c und]/&1 !re=e1 ! feel+s ) :i* he =m$ ano!r connection1 & made x kn[n to "o :o 0 n[ to resign h] *>ge to o!r h&s4 ,bo/on1 ,janu>y #cj1 #ahbg4 ,,de> ,,si/]3-- ,!re is no "o :o w h m s9c]e & he>ty pleasure 9 ! tid+s ,i am go+ to communicate ?an y1 or f :om ,i %all receive m s9c]e & affectionate congratulations4 ,i !re=e lose n a mom5t 9 tell+ y t ,i am to build up aga9 my family he>?1 & br+ my *ildr5 to _! fa!r's side1 & h a home once m4 ,) :om1 ,i ne$ n tell y4 ,provid5ce has ?r[n 9 my way "o woman1 ^: "* is all t man c ask1 ( a s+ul> & exalt$ excell5ce4 ,y "k h[ admirable %e is1 & h[ well suit$ to fill ! vacant place by my side4 ,%e cons5ts to d x2 & t ,i feel grateful & happy1 a privileg$ man1 y w n d\bt4444 ,write me at ,new ,york4 ,love to y all4 ,affectionately1 ,,h5ry ,,w>e1 ,,jr4 99 99 99 99 99 ,saturday ,ev5+1 ,m>* #c1 #ahbg4 ,,my ,,de> ,,h>riet3-- ,y w n be tr\bl$1 ,i hope1 if ,i p\r out f my m9d a little ( ! satisfaction :i* ,i feel1 & 9 :i* ,i am rejoic+ m & m e day4 ,s9ce my return1 ! congratulations ( my fri5ds h be5 absolutely ov]p[]+2 & f see+ m & m ( ,miss ,pick>d1 ,i am made to feel m & m grateful = ! k9d provid5ce :i* has l$ me to ?is result4 ,y "k all my feel+s & views1 & ! process ( my m9d1 & ,i %all !re=e be und]/ood by y z by nobody else4 ,x is n a common feel+ :i* fills me2 x is some?+ peculi>1 sacr$1 z if ,i _h be5 "u a sup]natural guidance1 & be5 made to act f pure & elevat$ & dis9t]e/$ motives1 = ! purpose ( accompli%+ "s great good4 ,e ?+ is connect$ ) ! memory ( ! pa/ & ) my =m] happ9ess1 9 su* a way z n to sadd5 ! pres5t1 b to give to x a s+ul> spirituality1 if ,i may s say2 & ,i feel t1 if ! dep>t$ "k :at is transact+ "h1 my own ,elizabe? w\ld congratulate me z s9c]ely z any ( my fri5ds4 ,i h s\ght = ! be/ "m to h] *ildr51 & ! be/ ,i h f\nd4 ,i h desir$ a patt]n & bless+ = my p>i%1 & ,i h f\nd "o4 ,i h wi%$ "s "o to be> my load ) me1 & to help1 confirm1 & /r5g!n my pr9ciple by h] own high & exp]i5c$ piety1 & su* ,i h f\nd4 ,all ^! ?+s1 meet+ 9 "o p]son1--,i might h look$ = ea* alone1 b :]e else are !y to be all f\nd 9 su* excell5t proportions unit$8 ,i survey$ !m ) cool judgm5t1 & ,i %all by & by love !m ard5tly4 ,de> ,h>riet1 ,i mu/ h somebody to p\r out myself to2 s be> ! infliction *>itably4 ,good by4 ,y\rs ev] lov+ly4 ,,h5ry4 ,! "* ( ,m>y ,pick>d w\ld n be drawn1 b "o ( h] noble/ traits be left out ( view1 if we fail$ to speak frankly ( ! =m] affection to :i* ,mr4 ,w>e ref]s1 & ! memory ( :i* %e h]self *]i%$1 at fir/ & always4 ,%e _h no sympa?y1 & little respect1 = t n>r[ view :i* insi/s t "o affection mu/ cr[d out ano!r2 t ! dep>t$ & ! liv+ _c %>e ! same pure love ( ! same true he>t4 ,! happ9ess ( husb& & wife & h\sehold has sometimes be5 impair$ by a mi/ak5 appreh5sion on ?is subject1 & a suspicion ( feel+s 9 ea* o!r :i* _h no real exi/5ce1 or exi/$ only f ! want ( mutual & free expression4 ,we h ev5 kn[n cruel attempts made by o!rs to prejudice ! m9ds ( ^? mo/ conc]n$1 & especially ! *ildr5 ( a =m] "m4 ,= su* attempts1 & all ?\ghts ( ! k9d1 we _c repress our indignant repro(4 ,no false delicacy %\ld prev5t ! utt]ance ( tru?1 :]e ! be/ affections & de>e/ int]e/s are involv$4 ,in/ead ( avoid+ ! subject1 we are grateful = ! opportunity :i* su* *>act]s z ,h5ry & ,m>y ,w>e give u1 ( pres5t+ ! j1 g5]\s1 & ,*ri/ian view4 ,"o ( h] own *ildr5 has said ( h]3 ,p]haps no "o ?+ 9 h] "* & conduct has (t5] /ruck common m9ds ) surprise1 & sup]ior ones ) admiration1 ?an ?is entire fre$om & frankness 9 reg>d to ! fir/ wife8 ',%e 0 ! ne>e/ & de>e/ to him1' %e w\ld say1 'h[1 !n1 c ,i d o!rwise ?an love h] & *]i% h] memory8' ,& h] *ildr5 %e receiv$ z a preci\s legacy2 !y 7 to h] f ! fir/ mom5t l h] own2 nei!r %e nor !y knew any di/9ction4 ,we are p]mitt$ to add "o o!r lett] ( ,h5ry ,w>e1 beautifully illu/rat+ ! "* ( ,m>y1 & %[+ 8 own l>ge & holy view ( ?is p>ticul> relation4 ,x 0 address$ to ,mrs4 ,william ,w>e1 si/] ( t fir/ wife ! memory ( ^: excell5ce & love he s bl5d$ ) ! new affection4 ,may #ae1 #ahbg4 ,,my ,,de> ,,m>y3-- ,i believe t ,i h said to y1 two or ?ree times1 h[ mu* ,i _h calculat$ on y\r long visit1 z a means ( mak+ y & ,miss ,pick>d well acqua9t$4444 ,& ,i am n sure t ,i %\ld h said ev5 z mu* z ?is1 7 x n = "o circum/ance1 :i* has giv5 me a satisfaction t ,i nev] _h hop$ to enjoy1 & :i* w be increas$ by imp>t+ x to y4 ,i h kn[n s mu* ( ! selfi%ness ( human love1 & he>d s mu* ( ! s5sitiv5ess ) :i* wom5 are apt to reg>d a =m] affection1 t ,i _h n d>$ to hope t ,i ev] %\ld be able to speak z ,i feel ( =m] days1 & ! memory ( my e>lie/ love4 ,yet1 z ,i long$ to *]i% x1 & z all my pres5t plans & feel+s are int]wov5 ) ! ?\ghts & images ( ! pa/1 x w\ld h be5 an exce$+ pa9 to me to feel t !re 0 any res]ve1 or any ( t--,i don't "k :at to call x--:i* w\ld compel me to hide su* feel+s1 & seem n to h !m4 ,i _c tell y1 !n1 h[ happy ,i h be5 9 f9d+ ,miss ,pick>d entirely above all mean & selfi% feel+s1 :i* ,i h suppos$ to be s common4 ,%e ent]s into my views1 & we h talk$ freely ( o!r days2 & %e helps to keep me "r by speak+ ( ! pleasant impressions %e us$ to receive f ,elizabe?'s "*1 & :at %e has he>d ( h]4 ,i wi% ,i c\ld g into p>ticul>s4 ,s unexpect$ a communication betwe5 u has be5 a s\rce ( gratification to me unspeakably great2 & ,i d n "k :5 ,i h felt m truly exalt$ & spiritualiz$1 ?an :51 aft] su* a conv]sation :i* has fre$ u f e selfi% & e>?ly feel+1 we h knelt d[n toge!r & pray$ = bless+ f t _w1 :]e1 ,i feel sure1 if ! dep>t$ reg>d ^? :om !y left beh9d1 !re is no sorr[ or displeasure at ! c\rse ,i am pursu+4 ,i take pleasure 9 tell+ y ?is1 because no?+ c or %all divide me f y1 or less5 t feel+ 9 :i* ,i h s long reg>d$ y z "o ( ! ne>e/1 ! v ne>e/1 to me2 & ,i long t all :o are ne> to me %\ld be s to y4 ,be/ love to y1 & all happ9ess ) y & y\rs4 ,till ,i see y1 adieu4 ,y\rs1 ,,h5ry4 ,imm$iately aft] h] engagem5t1 ,m>y visit$ h] fri5d 9 ,worce/]2 & f t place we f9d a v long lett]1 relat+ m to o!rs ?an to h]self1 writt5 9 a *e]ful mood1 b %[+ h[ deep & sob] _h be5 h] m$itations on ! *ange t 0 be=e h]1 ( :i* %e writes m fully 9 ! fir/ lett] aft] h] return to ,bo/on4 ,worce/]1 ,febru>y #ah1 #ahbg4 ,,de> ,,emma3-- ,i h be5 hunt+ r\nd ! room to f9d a small %eet ( pap] ^u :i* to d ! pretty ?+1 & pay a tr\blesome debt4 ,b my se>* has be5 9 va91 s ,i h e'en *ang$ ! object ( my p51 & det]m9$ to let x foll[ ! dictates ( my incl9ation1 9 cov]+ a %eet ( ,gr&pa ,mc,adam's ',bri/ol-be/' ) su* l9es & scrat*es z x may be impell$ to make2 no?+ d\bt+ b its impulses w give y "s satisfaction1 if !y g no fur!r ?an ! expression ( ! s9c]e sympa?y felt ) y by y\r fri5ds "h1 9 y\r pres5t /ate ( joyful excitem5t4 ,i d inde$ rejoice ) y 9 y\r happ9ess at ! return ( y\r bro!r2 & y may be assur$ ,i am jo9$ 9 ?is by ! :ole h\sehold4 ,al?\gh ,i h nev] kn[n f exp]i5ce :at are ! precise feel+s y may h1 ,i ?9k ,i c ent] into !m at all times4 ,& n[1 :e!r x is t my m9d is m ?an usually attun$ to joy1 or :e!r x is m int]e/$ = y ?an x ev] has be5 9 simil> cases ) respect to o!rs1 ,i "k n2 b sure ,i am1 t ,i nev] felt s mu* be=e1 or seem$ to myself s :olly awake to ! feel+s & int]e/s ( my fri5ds1 z at ?is mom5t4 ,y mu/ enjoy a great deal 9 ! next few mon?s1 & ,i "k y w n let s mu* cause = gratitude pass )\t its full effect4 ,x has always seem$ to me a mo/ humiliat+ fact1 t s mu* suff]+ %\ld be necess>y to tea* u our dep5d5ce4 ,:y %\ld we n be equally taught by ! bless+s :i* are be/[$ ^u u1 t we are & h no?+ b z ,he wills x to be2 & does x n seem a natural effect ( su* te/imonies ( love1 to draw our he>ts t[>ds a ,be+ :o is s good to u8 ,let u at lea/1 de> ,emma1 prove t x may h ?is influ5ce4 ,nancy is v well1 & bright & happy2 & c\ld ,i drive away f h] a fooli% feel+ ( a p>t+ visit :i* hangs ^u h] m9d1 & fills h] eyes :5ev] %e speaks to me1 we %\ld be 9 a v m]ry key4 ,z x is1 h[ev]1 we enjoy mu*1 = ,i h mu* to tell h] ( ! adv5tures ( ! la/ ?ree ye>s1 :i* takes h] away f ! pres5t2 & %e is at he>t s truly satisfi$ & happy1 t we _c get up any ?+ l real melan*oly4 ,i wi% inde$1 ) y1 t ,i c\ld atta9 some?+ ( y\r animation1 & = a long] p]iod ?an t y prescribe2 = ,i d n hold x 9 su* contempt z y d4 ,x might n1 p]haps1 add to my individual happ9ess1 = x seems to me ,i am z happy z mortal c be2 b ,i d feel sure x w\ld give me ! means ( communicat+ m pleasure to o!rs1 & ?is c\ld n fail to increase my own4 ,i h always consid]$ t buoyancy ( _s ( :i* y speak z a great & valuable gift2 p]haps ,i h exagg]at$ its p[]1 z we are apt to d e ?+ 9 :i* we are defici5t4 ,b its effects 9 *as+ away ! vapors :i* w sometimes ga!r1 almo/ )\t cause1 ar\nd ! feel+s ( ev5 ! be/ & happie/1 are n to be que/ion$1 & are 9 my view ( great wor?4 ,my happie/ mom5ts h always be5 my quiete/1 & ?is does little = o!rs' com=t4 ,i h 9 a great measure ov]come ! solemnity :i* oppress$ me :5 ,i saw y2 & 7 y only "h1 ,i ?9k ,i c\ld jo9 ) y 9 "o ( y\r m]ry laughs1 z gayly z y c\ld desire4 ,i d inde$ wi% y 7 "h4 ,y 7 "r 9 ?9k+ t "o ( my lett]s 0 f c\s9 ,jane2 ! o!r 0 f ,aunty1 q a happy "o1 n "o compla9t1 & direct$ by ! 'little ,doctor1'--s ,i conclude he is 9 ! l& ( ! liv+4 ,jane writes 9 good spirits2 all ?+s !re 9 a bett] /ate ?an usual4 ,y\rs truly1 ,m4 ,l4 ,p4 99 99 99 99 99 ,bo/on1 ,m>* #bj1 #ahbg4 ,,my ,,de> ,n----3 ,7 ,i ne> y1 x w\ld be an unspeakable relief to p\r =? to y1 = e mom5t is s fill$ ) con/antly increas+ int]e/1 t at times ,i am oppress$ & ov]p[]$ z ,i d n l to be2 & !re are mom5ts :5 d\bt & di/ru/ ( myself s entirely possess me1 t ,i feel almo/ tempt$ to d\bt my "r to und]take :at ,i h4 ,my m9d is sl[ 9 all its processes1 y "k1 & 9 ?is matt] x seems to me m sl[ ?an is common1 x may be f ! magnitude ( ! *ange2 b c]ta9 x is1 ,i h suff]$ m1 & labor$ m to br+ myself into ! "r /ate1 ?an ,i ev] did 9 my life 9 ! same "t4 ,my cause = happ9ess is increas+ e day1 & ?is tempts me to dwell too exclusively ^u conc]ns connect$ ) self4 ,i am see+ daily m & m ( ! imm5se responsibility "u :i* ,i am plac+ myself1 & feel+ m & m my own incapacity1 & ?is tempts me to be anxi\s & d\btful4 ,i am und]/&+ m ( :at might be done 9 ! /ation ,i am to fill1 & ?is makes me ambiti\s to satisfy all :o w look to me ) hope4 ,o1 if ,i c\ld feel z ,i %\ld1 t if ,i d my utmo/ ) my :ole he>t1 f ! "r motive1 ,i %all ga9 t approbation :i* %\ld be ! fir/ object ( my desire1 be my ef=ts successful or n6 ,b ,i am gett+ to dep5d too mu* ^u ! approbation ( ^? ,i love4 ,9 "o respect1 ?is new & /rong & satisfy+ int]e/ is n hav+ ! influ5ce ,i fe>$2 in/ead ( engross+1 absorb+1 & mak+ me selfi%1 exclud+ all o!r int]e/s1 x seems to enl>ge ! capacity ( affection4 ,i feel w>m$ m ?an ev] t[>ds e liv+ be+ :om ,i ev] lov$4 ,& x has done mu* t[>ds exalt+ & enlight5+ my m9d ^u ! po9t :i* has be5 a great] trial to me ?an any ?+ ,i ev] met )4 ,i mean1 x has made me m will+ to leave ! _w1 & enjoy ! happ9ess ( heav51 ?an ,i ev] ?\ght ,i %\ld be4 ,/range t ! ?+ f :i*1 ( all o!rs1 ,i %\ld h expect$ ! v opposite effect1 %\ld h done ?is6 ,i h be5 ?r\gh all ! =ms & c]emonies ( 'introduction1' v quietly4 ,i h be5 to ,cambridge1 & ! family h be5 "h2 &1 bett] ?an t1 ,i h laid siege to ! v5]able ,doctor 9 8 /udy1 & _h a mo/ delightful conv]sation ( ne>ly two h\rs 9 l5g?2 :i* made me feel t ,i 0 n a little privileg$1 to h any claim1 h[ev] small1 ^u 8 int]e/4444 ,i wi% y c\ld h he>d ,mr4 ,*ann+ ?is morn+ on ! ',glory ( ,jesus ,*ri/'2 x 0 "o ( 8 highe/ flights4 ,we h great prea*+ n[-a-days f _m qu>t]s4 ,y\rs ev] ! same1 ,,m>y4 ,! m>riage ( ! ,rev4 ,,h5ry ,,w>e1 ,jr4 & ,,m>y ,l4 ,,pick>d took place at ! h\se ( ,miss ,b5t 9 ,bo/on1 on ! #aa? ( ,june1 #ahbg1 ,dr4 ,gannett unit+ & bless+ !m4 ,!y 7 abs5t a =tnight1 j\rney+ to ,new ,york & ,nor?ampton2 & !n return$ to ,bo/on ) ! two *ildr51 & ent]$ ^u _! new home 9 ,%eafe ,/reet1 at ! ,nor? ,end4 ,& !re began a new life1--to ,m>y :olly new1 & int5sely busy4 ,%e gave h]self up to all its duties1 at once & unres]v$ly4 ,( h] /&>d ( duty we "k some?+ already2 & !y :o also "k ! dem&s ( a l>ge p>i% ^u a m9i/]'s wife1 :o resolves n only to make h] h\se free & pleasant to all :o w ent] x1 b also to %>e all ( h] husb&'s labors = :i* %e is compet5t1 c =m an idea ( :at ,m>y f\nd to d4 ,mrs4 ,w>e1 at home & abroad1 0 ! busie/ woman ( my acqua9tance1 is ! reason giv5 by "o ( h] female fri5ds = n seek+ h] society z mu* z %e desir$4 ,x w be rememb]$ t %e began ) a family1 z well z p>i%1 & t ! duty ( a "m 0 "o :i* %e held v sacr$1 & w\ld nev] slight = any o!r4 ,b we w let h] tell ! /ory ( h] fir/ labors1 z %e does 9 a lett] to ,mrs4 ,hall1 at ,nor?ampton1 :o _h _h ! c>e ( ! *ildr51 & ano!r to ,mrs4 ,pa9e4 ,we ought to say ( ^!1 & all ! lett]s to be (f]$1 t !y are n giv5 z record+ great ev5ts or r>e qualities1 b simply = :at !y are1--expressions ( ! daily ?\ght & dome/ic life ( a consci5ti\s woman1 9 common relations & quiet duty4 ,bo/on1 ,july #bj1 #ahbg4 ,,de> ,,h>riet3-- ,y w be glad1 ,i "k1 to he> f my own p5 h[ we all prosp]1 & ,i s9c]ely wi% ,i _h "t en\gh to tell y all ,i wi% y to "k ( my v>i\s arrangem5ts & avocations1 hopes & fe>s1 wi%es & successes4 ,( ! latt] ,i _c boa/ mu*2 ,i am1 h[ev]1 mu* delight$ to f9d t _m ?+s :i* ,i expect$ w\ld p]plex me1 & take m "t & ?\ght ?an ,i %\ld be will+ to give !m1 d n tr\ble me 9 ! lea/ degree1--su* z h\sehold affairs1 eat+1 dr9k+1 & keep+ matt]s mov+ me?odically4 ,i did n1 to be sure1 indulge anxiety ab\t x1 z f my utt] ignorance ,i _h "s reason to d2 b ,i did n suppose x possible t su* a "y novice c\ld be induct$ into ! important /ation ( h\sekeep] )\t suff]+ = a "t a degree ( m>tyrdom4 ,b ?us f> ,i get on easily1 & hope to le>n by exp]i5ce suffici5t to meet future wants4 ,my p>i% matt]s h gone on s f> j z ,i wi%$4 ,i gave up all la/ week to receiv+ visitors1 & !y came 9 j ! mann] ,i wi%$1 morn+1 noon1 or ev5+1 z might be mo/ conv5i5t to !mselves4 ,x 0 ! be/ way = me1 = x gave me a bett] opportunity ( gett+ acqua9t$ ) _! looks1 & !y seem$ to l x v mu* !mselves4 ,i am at lib]ty n[1 b pref] /ay+ at home1 & /ill h en\gh to d to say ',welcome' to my fri5ds4 ,b ?is is all play-"w 9 comp>ison ) ! o!r duties t belong to my lot4 ,!y are j :at ,i knew !y w\ld be1--mo/ delicate1 mo/ difficult1 = "o s utt]ly ignorant2 b ,i see ! difficulties1 & d n f9d !m great] ?an ,i h always kn[n !y w\ld be2 am nei!r disc\rag$ nor fa9t-he>t$1 b hope & tru/ t p[] w yet be grant$ = all exig5cies4 ,i d n f9d myself z mu* discompos$ by ! task z ,i expect$1 consid]+ ,i h _h s little to d ) *ildr54 ,b ,i d feel ! importance ( ! relation 9 :i* ,i /& to !m m deeply1 m oppressively1 ?an ,i c\ld h conceiv$1 & ,i am m ?an ev] c]ta9 t ,i h a great deal to le>n1 & a long "w be=e me4 ,d let me he> f y sometimes2 we may n h mu* communication at pres5t1 b1 z ! ,quak] said1 'we c m$itate on ea* o!r4' ,i beg y to und]/& t ,i consid] myself "o ^: lot has m ?an a common %>e ( bless+1 & daily & h\rly d ,i ?ank ,god = guid+ me to ?is pleasant pa?4 ,i f9d ,i %all realize all y promis$ me ( com=t1 & mu* m too4 ,y\rs 9 s9c]ity4 ,m4 ,l4 ,w4 99 99 99 99 99 ,bo/on1 ,july #bb1 #ahbg4 ,,de> ,,nancy3-- ,y\r lett] 0 giv5 me ?is morn+ 9 meet+1 & has j be5 read 9 "o ( ! few quiet mom5ts :i* fall to my lot1 & "o ( ! mo/ peaceful & refre%+2 & ,i am rejoic$ to add to its pleasure1 by turn+ to my little table & writ+ to y4 ,i h inde$ long$ to give y a peep into my almo/ too delightful home2 b x has be5 entirely beyond possibility to f9d an opportunity to write4 ,h[ mu* ,i wi% y c\ld look 9 ^u u1 & see ! :ole detail ( affairs f ,monday morn+ to ,saturday night1 & t /ill m delightful season1 ! holy ,sabba?1 ,i ne$ n tell y4 ,b ,i fe> y w nev] fully und]/& x1 unless y c make y\rself invisible & come among u4444 ,we came on 9 ! same /age1 next day1 & f\nd all 9 read9ess1 p]fect read9ess1 = u2 & made s1 too1 by ! ef=ts ( our fri5ds1 :i* add$ n a little to ! com=t4 ,! ladies ( ! p>i% w\ld n let ,miss ,b---- hire workwom51 b came & did ?+s ) _! own h&s4 ,all look$ m com=table & neat & appropriate ?an ,i expect$1 z ,i _h pick$ matt]s up ) no small degree ( c>elessness4 ,miss ,b---- & ,mrs4 ,b---- 7 on ! spot to receive u2 & oh6 ,nancy1 to ent] "o's own home1 9 :i* 0 to be kn[n all ( exp]i5ce :i* might be hid 9 ! future1--to come to x1 too1 z ,i did1 aft] s long float+ on a *angeful sea1--& to come to x "u all ! int]e/+ circum/ances ( grateful joy & fe>ful responsibilities1--x 0 a mom5t n to be describ$ or =gott54 ,h---- told y ( our ,sunday4 ,! transf] to a new place ( wor%ip 0 try+ & affect+2 b ,i =got ! p1 & did n suff] because e eye 9 ! h\se might be direct$ t[>ds me4 ,i ne$ n add1 t ! excitem5t 9 *ur* is mu* m ?an x ev] 0 to me1 ?\gh n :at x w be :5 ,i am m at home !re4 ,sunday gave me truly ! re/ ( ! s\l4 ,i arrang$ t x %\ld be a quiet day4 ,we prep>$ d9n] on ,saturday1 & lock$ up ! h\se2 ,mr4 ,w>e 9 8 /udy aft] breakfa/1 & ! *ildr5 ) me1 read+ & /udy+4 ,!y 7 easily int]e/$1 &1 ! excitem5t ( common days be+ remov$1 !y 7 m z ,i wi%$1 & gave me mu* pleasure4 ,s x 0 at noon2 & at night !y g to _! fa!r1 & ,i h my own h\r ( peaceful ?\ght4 ,& !n 9 ! ev5+ we are all toge!r1 talk+ or read+ or s++4 ,x is realiz+ s exactly :at ,i h always wi%$ to h ! day1 & :at ,i nev] be=e knew1 t ,i enjoy x d\bly4 ,a fri5d1 p]haps1 drops 9 & jo9s our s++4 444 ,all classes h come to see me1 ev5 ! poore/1 & seem q dispos$ to be pleas$4 ,i h said di/9ctly t ,i wi% ours to be entirely a social int]c\rse1 & !y take me at my ^w4 ,i h n told y ( my own private joys1 nor c ,i 9 ?is little space4 ,t !y are great1 imm5sely great1 y c believe2 & ev5 ) ! ----4 ,augu/ #af4 ,"h ,i 0 int]rupt$ m ?an a =tnight ago1 & d n n[ rememb] :at 0 to h be5 ! close ( ! s5t5ce4 ,i might add1 t ,i feel x happy = me1 t1 ) all ^! bless+s & pleasant circum/ances1 ,i h s mu* ( responsibility & anxiety z w effectually prev5t my head be+ turn$ by x4 ,b ,i h n room = fur!r detail4 ,y\rs ev]4 ,,m>y4 ,! s5se ( responsibility j ref]r$ to might be call$ "o ( ,m>y's *>act]i/ics4 ,& x _h ?is peculi>ity1 if no o!r1 t %e felt x to be a bless+ r ?an a burd54 ,inde$1 9 cases :]e o!rs w\ld speak1 z almo/ all d speak1 ( ! burd5 ( responsibility1 %e us$ ! o!r & bright] ^w4 ,z1 at ?is "t1 %e said1 9 a note to a fri5d1--,my fate is a s+ul> "o 9 ?is respect1--t1 :atev] may be ! v>iety ( ! sc5e1 x is always fill$ ) ! extremes ( bless+ & responsibility2 & ,i "k n t ,i ev] felt m fully ! bless+ ( responsibility ?an n[4 ,_h ,i n great & almo/ ov]p[]+ duties & c>es1 my head w\ld almo/ ( necessity be dizzy ) ! bright prospect be=e me4 ,z x is1 ,i rejoice ) a s]i\s1 b mo/ grateful _s1--a sob] bliss c]ta9ly1 b n ! less valuable4 ,!re 0 "o utt]ance ( h] sob] bliss ( :i* we h n spok5 z we might1 = x 0 habitual ) h] ?r\gh life4 ,we ref] to h] love ( s++1 & h] use ( sacr$ hymns 9 ! family1 :i* began1 z we h se51 ) ! fir/ ,sabba? 9 h] new home1 &1 z we are to see1 end$ only ) life4 ,"o :o liv$ ) h] j be=e h] m>riage tells u h[ mu* %e indulg$ & enjoy$ 9 ?is devotional1 b *e]ful melody1 = x seem$ 9 h] to be truly s++ hymns ( praise4 ,%e w\ld s+ aft] )draw+ = ! night1 at ! close ( ! busie/ & mo/ di/ract+ days2 & sometimes1 aft] hav+ actually retir$1 %e w\ld ?9k ( a *>m+ tune1 always select+ ! mo/ beautiful words1 & jo9$ by ,miss ,k----1 !y w\ld enjoy an h\r 9 ?is way4 ,di/9ct are ! e*oes :i* l+] 9 _m he>ts /ill1 f h] s(t & expressive voice1--! voice ( ! s\l6 ,! biograph] ( ,h5ry ,w>e says t ! ye> ( :i* we are speak+1 t :i* foll[$ ?is second m>riage1 0 "o ( ! mo/ active1 & also1 to all human appe>ance1 "o ( ! mo/ successful1 ( 8 m9i/ry4 ,x 0 m>k$ by ! effici5cy ( 8 labors1 increas$ att5tion to 8 prea*+1 a gr[+ congregation1 & _m pro(s ( favor ) ! community 9 g5]al4 ,he repeat$1 t w9t]1 & enl>g$1 8 ,lectures on ! ,geography ( ,pale/9e2 &1 beside 8 ,bible class & ve/ry s]vice1 8 h\se 0 op5 to 8 p>i% e ,tuesday ev5+ = social int]c\rse & religi\s conv]sation4 ,9 ?is la/1 z 9 o!r p>o*ial ways1 ,mrs4 ,w>e 0 an effici5t help]4 ,no?+ c\ld be m to h] ta/e1 or 9 unison ) h] be/ p[]s1 no?+ c]ta9ly c\ld contribute m to h] deepe/ joys1 ?an ?is :ole mann] ( life4 ,if we may n believe t %e 0 res]v$ = ?is v position1 we may confid5tly say t %e c\ld h fill$ no o!r ) m ease1 m en]gy1 or happi] results4 ,we attempt no enum]ation ( ! relations & (fices 9 :i* %e endeavor$ to s]ve h] husb&'s society1 or ! l>g] community4 ,bo/on is n m rem>kable = its noble *>ities1 ?an = ! noble wom5 :o f9d sph]e & activity en\gh 9 devis+ or direct+ s _m ( ^? *>ities4 ,mrs4 ,w>e s\ght no publicity or di/9ction 9 ^! movem5ts1 & 0 less prom95t1 p]haps less effici5t1 ?an _m o!rs4 ,comp>isons %e seldom attempt$1 & nev] made !m a rule ( conduct4 ,h] rule seems to h be51 to refuse no s]vice ask$ ( h] = :i* %e 0 compet5t1 if x int]f]$ n ) any duty to h] family or p>i%4 ,f ! opportunities %e _h enjoy$ & improv$1 :5 abroad1 ( visit+ v>i\s *>itable in/itutions1 %e 0 frequ5tly consult$ 9 reg>d to !m1 & %e s5t to ,engl& = plans & h9ts4 ,%e 0 a directress ( a ,*>ity ,sew+ ,s*ool2 & always regrett$ t sew+ 0 n taught 9 ! public s*ools1 & made ess5tial to a complete education ) e class4 ,9 all h] views & ef=ts !re 0 t practical good s5se1 :i* is bett] ?an ! be/ !ories or brighte/ ab/ractions4 ,yet %e did n despise !ory & ab/raction1 nor suppose t ei!r %e or h] own g5]ation _h le>n$ all !re 0 to be le>n$4 ,inde$1 we use no great boldness 9 say+1 t1 )\t ! slighte/ t5d5cy to reckless innovation or fooli% exp]im5t1 !re nev] 0 man or woman m int]e/$ 9 re=m1 or anxi\s = progress1 or fe>less = tru?1 ?an ,h5ry & ,m>y ,w>e4 ,( ,m>y's ideas ( ! rew>d :i* ! b5evol5t & ! good %\ld desire1 an amus+ illu/ration has be5 giv5 u by "o :o he>d ! rem>k at ! "t4 ,a motion be+ made 9 a *>itable ,society = a vote ( ?anks = ! m9i/]'s pray]1 ,mrs4 ,w>e said to a lady ne> h]1 ,:ile ,i 0 secret>y ( ! ,society = ! ,employm5t ( ,female ,poor1 ,i nev] record$ votes ( ?anks4 ,i ?\ght memb]s %\ld d all !y c\ld1 & :5 t 0 done1 !y might make _! c\rtesy to ea* o!r6 ,9 ,m>*1 #ahbh1 ,mrs4 ,w>e1 aft] ! labors & anxieties ( ! fir/ w9t]1 made a visit to ,mrs4 ,hall 9 ,nor?ampton1 :]e %e wrote h] fir/ lett] to h] husb&1 conta9+ expressions ^: full import we _c "k1 b ^: intimations ( self-di/ru/ & increas+ s5se ( responsibility _m w und]/&4 ,nor?ampton1 ,m>* #ai1 #ahbh4 ,,de> ,,h5ry3-- ,no lett] f y ye/]day2 b ,i did n expect "o1 kn[+ t ,saturday & ,sunday are busy days4 ,i feel sure ( "o to-day1 h[ev]1 & :ile wait+ its arrival ) all ! pati5ce ,i c summon1 ,i _c please myself bett] ?an by talk+ a little to y2 & if ,i am will+ to believe t 9 ?is1 z 9 _m o!r matt]s1 our ta/es may correspond1 pity my delusion1 b d n de/roy x1--x is ! brighte/ dream ( life to me4 ,i f9d x is a v diff]5t ?+ to be lone ,polly ,pick>d1 beat+ ab\t ! _w1 consci\s t x c\ld n int]f]e ) any "o's com=t or conv5i5ce if %e 7 out ( x1 & to call myself ,m>y ,w>e1 ) all ! app5dages :i* belong to h]1--! c>es & com=ts1 ! duties & privileges1 f :i* %e _c disconnect h]self4 ,x is almo/ incr$ible to me t a %ort ye> %\ld h made "o :o 0 be=e utt]ly reckless ( dang] s c>eful & cauti\s1--,i _h almo/ said1 anxi\s4 ,&1 oh6 :at a lesson x has taught me6 ,i ?\ght ,i 0 deeply s5sible ( my dang]2 ,i ?\ght ,i realiz$ fully ! /r5g? ( ! temptation :i* assail$ me to re/ satisfi$ ) my e>?ly bless+s1 & to dep5d ^u !m entirely = my happ9ess4 ,b ?is little sep>ation has %[n me ! /ate ( my m9d 9 a tru] light ?an ,i ev] saw x be=e1 & compell$ me to confess1 ) deep sorr[1 t my trial 0 great] ?an ,i c\ld be>4 ,i _h borne sorr[ & deprivation1 lonel9ess & calumny1 unmov$1 erect1 fe>less1--b _h sunk be=e ! great] trial ( satisfi$ affection4 ,may ?is k d me real good6 ,& if x %\ld please our k9d ,fa!r to re/ore u to ea* o!r1 let u /rive ) great] zeal to conqu] ?is enemy4 ,:ile we rejoice1 z we mu/1 9 ! bless+s ( ,8 provid5ce 9 call+ u toge!r1 may we use our com=ts )\t s abus+ !m z %all make !m in/rum5ts ( evil in/ead ( good to our s\ls4 ,d n ?9k ,i am n]v\s or incl9$ to croak4 ,i am p]fectly well1 & :ile ,i look at ^! ?+s s]i\sly1 ,i feel a *e]ful c\rage to cont5d manfully1 no?+ d\bt+ t /r5g? w be giv5 9 aid ( all "r ef=t1 & t all ^! trials1 if rightly us$1 w be s _m additional aids 9 atta9+ t heav5ly-m9d$ness :i* alone c satisfy4 ,all bless+s att5d y1 de>e/ ,h5ry4 ,all s5d love4 ,y\r own ,,m>y4 ,expressions ( self-di/ru/ & extreme disc\ragem5t seem /rangely un9telligible to _m m9ds1 :5 !y come f ^? :o are ?\ght bett] ?an o!rs1 & are always /riv+ & advanc+4 ,yet ^! are ! v p]sons to feel disc\rag$1 because ( ! high m>k !y set = !mselves4 ,& ! fact t !y are ?\ght bett] ?an o!rs1 ) _! ke5 insight ( _! own fail+s1 is m apt to mortify & depress ?an to exalt ! humble & e>ne/ _s4 ,nev]1 p]haps1 0 ,h5ry ,w>e do+ m = o!rs or himself ?an 9 ! w9t] & spr+ ( ! ye> we are review+4 ,yet 9 a lett] to 8 wife1 writt5 a few weeks aft] t :i* we j gave f h]1 we f9d ! expression ( a dissatisfaction ) himself1 ev5 great] ?an h]s4 ,x 0 writt5 on 8 bir?day1 & %[s also 8 s5se ( ! great bless+ :i* ! la/ ye> _h br\ght him4 ,i nev] yet 0 satisfi$ ) my mode ( life = "o ye>1--p]haps ,i may except "o4 ,b s9ce t ,i h be5 gr[+ worse & worse4 ,i did ?9k sob]ly1 t1 :5 ,i 0 settl$ d[n ) y1 ,i %\ld turn ov] a new leaf2 & ,i began2 b1 by fooli% degrees1 ,i h got back to all my accu/om$ c>elessness & wa/e ( p[]s1 & am do+ no?+ 9 proportion to :at ,i ought to d4 ,yet o!r p tell me ,i d a great deal1 & ,i am /upid en\gh to take _! judgm5t in/ead ( my own4444 ,^!1 de> ,m>y1 are ! morn+ reflections ) :i* ,i op5 my ?irty-fif? ye>4 ,w ! ye> be any bett] = !m8 ,i hope s1 b ,i fe> n2 = ,i d n feel ! weight & solemnity ( ^! consid]ations z !y ought to be felt4 ,diff]5t1 inde$1 f ! anticipations ( ei!r did ! op5+ ye> prove4 ,! season :i* _h be5 ! fir/ ( ,m>y's coop]ation ) ,mr4 ,w>e1 0 ! la/ ( 8 active s]vice z a pa/or4 ,he _h ov]task$ 8 en]gies1 & t *ange 0 imp5d+ :i* affect$ ! :ole ( _! rema9+ "w 9 life4 ,on 8 return f ,nor?ampton1 :]e he _h be5 prea*+1 9 ! mon? ( ,may1 #ahbh1 he 0 arre/$ at ,w>e by a viol5t fev]1 :i* 0 foll[$ by extreme pro/ration1 & conf9$ him !re sev]al weeks4 ,8 wife 0 9 ,bo/on1 & 9 a /ate ( heal? t made travell+ nei!r easy nor :olly safe4 ,b %e wrote s p]suasively to ! physician = leave to jo9 h] husb&1 t x c\ld n be refus$1 & %e 0 soon at 8 side4 ,"u date ( ,june #af?1 %e writes f ,w>e3 ,h[ grateful & happy ,i am1 to be "h6 ,all ! few feel+s ( d\bt ab\t ! exp$i5cy ( ! jaunt1 :i* o!rs' fe>s =c$ ^u my notice1 h vani%$1 & my own /rong convictions t x 0 be/ h become p]fect c]ta9ty4 ,) ! unspeakable satisfaction ( be+ ) my husb&1 s unexpect$ to him1 & sc>cely hop$ = by me1 :at c !re be to dread :i* c be a balance = su* bless+s8 ,z soon z ,mr4 ,w>e 0 well en\gh1 !y w5t on to ,worce/]1 :]e !y rema9$ six weeks4 ,& !re1 on ! #ac? ( ,july1 ,mrs4 ,w>e's fir/ *ild 0 born2 a son1 :o liv$ b few ye>s1 yet long en\gh to leave a deep impression ( beauty & promise4 ,t[>d ! la/ ( ,augu/1 ,mr4 ,w>e set out alone on a horseback j\rney = 8 heal?1 rid+ ?r\gh ,new ,hamp%ire & ,v]mont to ,montreal & ,quebec1 & return+ 9 ,octob]4 ,dur+ ! fir/ "p ( ?is int]val1 8 wife & infant *ild 7 at lodg+s 9 ,newton1 :]e h] next lett] is dat$1 ref]r+ 9 ! op5+ to a poetical epi/le :i* %e _h receiv$ f h] husb&4 ,t epi/le1 z publi%$ at l5g? 9 ! ,memoir ( ,mr4 ,w>e1#c _m w rememb]2 b its t5d]ness1 & its allusions to _! common exp]i5ce at ?is p]iod1 w furni% an excuse1 if we ins]t a "p ( x1 z a preface to ! lett] :i* foll[s4 ,de> ,m>y1 't is ! f\rte5? day ,s9ce ,i 0 p>t$ f y\r side2 ,& /ill ^u my l5g!n+ way ,9 solitude ,i ride2 ,b n a ^w has come to tell ,if ^? ,i left at home are well4 ,i am n ( an anxi\s m9d1 ,nor prone to *]i% useless fe>2 ,yet (t me?9ks ! v w9d ,is :isp]+ 9 my e>1 ,t _m an evil may take place ,)9 a =tnight's n>r[ space4 ,b no1--a happi] ?\ght is m9e2 ,! abs5t1 l ! pres5t sc5e1 ,is guid$ by a ,fri5d ,div9e1 ,:o bids u wait1 s]5e1 ,! issues ( t graci\s w1 ,:i* m+les good ) e ill4 ,& :o %\ld feel ?is tranquil tru/ ,9 t ,b5ignant ,"o above-- ,:o ne'er =gets t we are du/1 ,& rules ) pity+ love-- ,l u1 :o bo? h j be5 l$ ,back f ! conf9es ( ! dead8 ,!n1 de>e/1 pres5t or ap>t1 ,an equal calmness let u we>2 ,let /eadfa/ ,fai? control ! he>t1 ,& /ill its ?robs ( c>e4 ,we may n lean on ?+s ( du/1-- ,b ,heav5 is wor?y all our tru/4 ,footnote #c3 ,memoir ( ,h5ry ,w>e1 p4 #bbj4 99 99 99 99 99 ,newton1 ,septemb] #ac1 #ahbh4 ,?ank y1 de>e/1 = ! pleasure y\r good long lett]s h giv5 me2 & if ,i am ! m pleas$ t y call$ y\r ,muse to aid y 9 my behalf1 ,i hope x is "o ( ! p>donable weaknesses ( womank9d1 & tru/ y\r vanity w n take ! al>m le/ ,i %\ld und]value y\r own unassi/$ p[]s ( pleas+4 ,x is inde$ a great & unceas+ s\rce ( delight to me1 t1 al?\gh sep>at$ ext]nally 9 our way1 our ?\ghts1 our spirits1 are pursu+ ! same c\rse1 & we may meet 9 m$itation & pray]1 sure t ! same feel+s ( gratitude & tru/ are ev] pres5t to u bo?4 ,i ?\ght mu* ( ?is1 la/ ,sunday1 :5 ,i made my fir/ attempt to att5d public wor%ip4 ,i _h felt a great desire to g to meet+ ^u t day1 be+ ! eigh? week f ! bir? ( my *ild2 &1 moreov]1 because ! fir/ ,sunday 9 ,septemb] has be5 a memorable day to me e ye> s9ce #ahac4 ,i did n attempt x 9 ! morn+1 b 9 ! aft]noon rode ov] to he> ,mr4 ,wallcut at ! ,upp] ,falls4 ,i _h felt well & /rong at home1 b x 0 q too mu* = me2 my m9d 0 too weak to be> x quietly4 ,! reflection ^u all t _h pass$ s9ce ,i la/ ent]$ ! h\se ( ,god1 :i* 0 =c$ ^u me at "o view1 0 inde$ ov]:elm+4 ,i c\ld sc>cely control myself suffici5tly to jo9 9 ! s]vices4 ,i long$ to put e "o out ( ! h\se1 t ,i might pro/rate myself bodily1 & ,i did m5tally1 be=e t ,be+ ^: goodness _h br\ght me to t h\r4 ,i did inde$ ?9k mu* ( y2 & !re 0 a high & holy satisfaction 9 ! idea t y 7 at ! same "t employ$ 9 ! same way2 & al?\gh all 0 unc]ta9ty ) reg>d to y1 ,i d\bt$ n1 t1 :e!r on e>? or 9 heav51 ,i might safely rely ^u ?is4 ,h[ did ,i rejoice 9 t fai? :i* c\ld remove f me all anxiety & fe> conc]n+ y1 :i* c\ld enable me s calmly to suff] y to g f me = su* a l5g? ( "t1 not)/&+ ! v _m unc]ta9ties :i* mu/ belong to y\r situation4 ,i sometimes wond] at ! peace :i* p]vades my m9d1 b ,i "k ,i h a "r to feel x2 x has its basis ^u an immovable f\ndation4 ,mr4 ,wallcut gave u a v useful1 solemn disc\rse1 & ,i 0 /r5g!n$ by ! s]vice1 & n injur$ by ! excitem5t4 ,heav5 bless y6 ,y\r own ,,m>y4 ,9 ,septemb]1 ,mrs4 ,w>e return$ to _! own h\se 9 ,bo/on1--t h\se 9 :i* %e _h be5 s happy1 & to :i* %e hop$ soon to welcome h] husb& back aga91 9 re/or$ heal?4 ,%e writes at once4 ,%eafe ,/reet1 ,septemb] #bf1 #ahbh4 ,"h we are1 de> ,h5ry1 z com=table z y c\ld wi%1 9 our own de> h\se1 m grateful & happy ?an ,i c\ld easily describe1 e ?+ look+ j z if we _h n be5 away4 ,nev] did ! place look m com=table1--,i _h almo/ said1 beautiful2--,i w say s1 = !re 7 s _m delightful associations ) x t x possess$ a moral beauty1 if ,i may say s1 exce$+ any o!r x c\ld h _h4 ,i feel f9ely1 & am sure ,i am z able to d all t is necess>y z ,i ev] 04 ,x is n necess>y j n[ t ,i %\ld make any viol5t ef=ts2 !re is no call = x4 ,elizabe? is ) me1 z happy z a *ild c be2 & ! '"y rogue' likes 8 home s well t he has turn$ ov] a new leaf at once1 & ,i believe means to behave well4 ,all we want n[ is y\r pres5ce1 & t ,i tru/ we %all h 9 ! "r "t4 ,o1 h[ will+ does all ?is exp]i5ce make "o to leave all ?+s 9 ,8 h&s1 :o has br\ght u ?r\gh su* tr\bl$ wat]s s safely1 s joyfully6 ,i h ga9$ s9ce ,sunday2 at lea/1 ,i h none ( ! confus$ feel+ ,i !n _h1 :i* made me fe> my head 0 too light = ,bo/on4 ,x is gett+ home1 ,i believe2 home & its peacefulness are ! be/ re/oratives4 ,i tru/ y w f9d x s4 ,i %all walk a little e day1 & call fir/ on ^? 9 affliction & ! sick2 !re are b few1 a/oni%+ly few1 = ! "t2 none t y h n he>d (1 ,i believe4 ,peace be ) y1 de>e/6 ,y\r ,,m>y4 ,mr4 ,w>e did return to ,%eafe ,/reet 9 ,octob]1 b n to rema94 ,8 heal? 0 n re/or$2 he c\ld n resume 8 pa/oral duties1 & he 0 n will+ to rema9 9 ,bo/on & among 8 p unemploy$4 ,a fri5d's h\se 9 ,brookl9e 0 k9dly (f]$ !m1 & e>ly 9 ,novemb] !y took leave--z x prov$1 a f9al leave--( _! p>i%1 & ( t h\se :]e !y _h pass$ b a s+le ye>1 yet "o ( ! happie/ ( _! lives4 ,9 ! m9d & memory ( bo? ( !m1 t abode seems to h be5 inve/$ ) peculi> int]e/4 ,!y h be5 he>d to speak ( ! ,ed5 ( ,%eafe ,/reet4 ,_! *ildr5 always rev]t to x ) a t5d] fondness2 &1 beside !irs1 !re are _m eyes t fill ) te>s ev5 n[1 z !y look back ^u ! happy h\rs & bless$ influ5ces enjoy$ !re1 9 _! pa/or's home4 ,& %e :o help$ to make t home :at x 0 to pa/or & p1 lov$ to ! la/ to live ov] aga9 t preci\s season1 ?\gh to h] cr[d$ ) peculi> c>es & trembl+ responsibilities4 ,!y rema9$ 9 ,brookl9e t w9t]4 ,9 ! spr+ ( #ahbi1 ,mr4 ,w>e virtually resign$ 8 pa/oral *>ge1 & a colleague pa/or 0 *os51 :ile a new pr(essor%ip 0 plann$ = him 9 ! ,div9ity ,s*ool at ,cambridge4 ,at ! same "t1 he 0 urg$ by g5]\s fri5ds1 :o (f]$ ! means1 to g fir/ ) 8 wife to ,europe1 = entire re/ & ! recov]y ( 8 heal?4 ,?is unexpect$ opportunity he felt x "r to use4 ,& 8 wife1 :o 0 h]self n well1 ?us speaks ( x to ,mrs4 ,pa9e1 9 a lett] ( sev]al dates3-- ,brookl9e1 ,decemb] #ca1 #ahbh4 ,,my ,,de>1 ,,k9d ,,fri5d3-- ,i h be5 = a long "t prohibit$ f us+ my eyes1 or %\ld ere ?is h despat*$ to y ! epi/le :i* = _m a we>y week has be5 prep>$ 9 my bra9 = y2 & n[ be+ /ill "u ! same int]dict1 ,i c only v5ture to rem9d y t !re is /ill 9 exi/5ce ! same old fri5d1 :o has be5 wont ^u ?is eve to p\r =? to y a copi\s /ream ( egotism1 :o nev] long$ = ! "t to come :5 %e might d s1 m ?an at ?is pres5t2 b :o1 = ! trial ( h] pati5ce1 mu/ lay aside h] p51 &1 wi%+ y e bless+1 wait until %e is at lib]ty to use h] eyes to say m4 ,janu>y #bc4 ,al?\gh /ill unable to use my eyes )\t suff]+1 ,i am /rongly tempt$1 by an empty h\se & an unoccupi$ h\r1 to r5ew1 9 "s small measure1 ! int]c\rse :i* has s long ceas$ betwe5 u1 & _c help seat+ myself1 p5 9 h&1 to give y a few mom5ts4 ,i h---- ,m>* #cj4 ,i 0 int]rupt$ by company at ! above pauses2 & s9ce !n1 de> ,n----1 :at a revolution 9 ! /ate ( ?+s ar\nd me6 ,x seems l a dream t ,i am aga9 on ! eve ( dep>ture = ,europe4 ,x is inde$ a dream f :i* ,i %\ld l to awake2 & yet ,i am s sure t x is "r to d j :at we are do+1 t ! _s fa9ts n1 nor ev5 falt]s4 ,i d n1 inde$1 d>e to ?9k1 b h busi$ myself 9 visit+ my p>i%1 & d n fe> b t p[] w be giv54 ,yet1 de> ,n----1 :at a lot is m9e6 ,surely ,i ought to be bett] = all ?is v>i\s bless+4 ,ev] y\rs4 ,m4 ,l4 ,w4 ,9 clos+ ! fir/ & only ye> ( ,m>y ,w>e's p>i% life1 we rememb] t x 0 also ! fir/ ye> ( h] m>ri$ life1 & an imm$iate entrance ^u ! (fice ( a "m4 ,to h] views ( ?is (fice we h already ref]r$1 b h fe>$ to say all we "k to be true ( h] dis*>ge ( its duties4 ,!re is a veil :i* we may n raise1 a sanctu>y :i* none c ent]4 ,yet x is due to h] & to h] *ildr51--x is due to ! greatness ( a tru/ ^: difficulties all see1 b few e/imate k9dly1--to speak ( ! gl[+ filial love1 ! rev]5t & grateful obligation1 express$ by ^? :o 7 p]mitt$ to call h] "m1 & ^: s5se ( indebt$ness gr[s ) _! days4 ,by ! ex]cise ( a s\nd discretion 9 exig5cies unavoidable & seldom all[$ =1--by fre$om ( int]c\rse ?r\gh ! day1 & pray] & bless+ at night1--by a t5d]ness t made c\nsel always k9d & discipl9e nev] di%e>t5+1--9 a ^w1 by a ye>n+ affection :i* has caus$ a />t & regret at any allusion to h] n be+ _! own "m1 %e took possession ( _! he>ts = life2 & h] dea? call$ =?1 9 ! simple words ( "o1 ! unutt]able s5tim5t ( bo?1--,surely ,god nev] gave a boy su* a "m1 or a man su* a fri5d4 ,,ix4 ,,european ,,t\r4 ,on ! #a/ ( ,april1 #ahbi1 ,mrs4 ,w>e sail$ f ,bo/on1 ) h] husb&1 9 ! %ip ,dov]1 = ,liv]pool4 ,"o ( ! old] *ildr5 0 left at bo>d & 9 s*ool1 ! o!r 9 ,mr4 ,william ,w>e's family1 9 ,new ,york2 :ile ! infant 0 confid$ to ,mr4 ,w>e's si/]1 ,mrs4 ,l9coln1--an arrangem5t t reliev$ ! "m ( anxiety1 z f> z 0 possible ) any sep>ation4 ,b no p>5t w ne$ to be told :at %e mu/ h suff]$1 at be/1 9 leav+ beh9d h] h] fir/ babe1 n a ye> old1 to cross ! ocean & g into di/ant l&s = an indef9ite "t1 ) a sick husb& on ^: re/oration or return no calculation c\ld be made4 ,yet we see 9 h] n a mom5t's hesitation1 we he> f h] no expression ( d\bt or ! lea/ despond5ce4 ,physicians & judici\s fri5ds advis$ ! /ep1 h] husb&'s heal? & p[] ( usefulness1 if n 8 life1 might dep5d ^u x2 & ?is 0 en\gh1 ev5 if h] own judgm5t _h diff]$1 z we h no reason to ?9k x did4 ,x 0 a feature ( h] m9d v prom95t1 z x mu/ be ( e well-balanc$ m9d1 t %e nev] suff]$ h]self to be tortur$ ) d\bts or fe>s = ! future :5 ! pres5t duty 0 cle>1 & nev] lam5t$ t %e _h done t :i* seem$ "r & be/1 :atev] ! issue4 ,z %e writes1 on "o occasion1 ( h] own habits ( m9d & long exp]i5ce3--,!re is no "o ?+ t has be5 m important to my com=t1 "u any result ( my plans1 ?an ! consci\sness t !y 7 decid$ ^u aft] a full & c>eful delib]ation ( all o!r possible plans1 & a calm judgm5t conc]n+ !m all4 ,!n ,i felt ,i _h done all t poor human nature c\ld d2 ! re/ 0 9 ,god's h&s1--x 0 all 9 ,god's h&s4 ,i 0 satisfi$ t ?is decision 0 9 ! ord] ( 8 provid5ce1 &1 come :at might1 ,i c\ld nev] regret x1 or sp5d "o va91 impi\s wi% t ,i _h tak5 ano!r c\rse4 ,b1 9 ord] to make ?is decision satisfactory1 ,i h always desir$ to "k ! :ole tru?1 & be conv9c$ t ,i _h a p]fect view ( ! :ole case 9 h&2 & h s\ght sugge/ions f o!rs1 n = my guidance1 b t ,i might be sure ,i _h delib]at$ ^u all ! v>ieties ( plan :i* c\ld be ?\ght (4 ,?is pr9ciple 0 n[ to be put to a sev]e te/1 ! sev]e/1 p]haps1 ( h] :ole life4 ,we h se5 :at %e did1 & :at %e suff]$1 9 h] =m] visit abroad4 ,totally diff]5t 7 ! circum/ances n[1 b none ( !m su* z to make ! trial less4 ,!n %e _h be5 alone z a travell]1 & also alone z to all exposure & p]il4 ,n[ %e 0 to feel & fe> = ! "o mo/ de> to h] 9 life1 "o :o 0 ill able to be> ! fatigues & discom=ts to :i* he mu/ be subject$1 & :om nei!r 8 own fai? nor h] s]5ity c\ld keep f depression & disc\ragem5t4 ,?r\gh ! :ole p]iod ( _! abs5ce1 :i* prov$ to be a ye> & a half1 ,mr4 ,w>e c\ld n be said to be well = a s+le day4 ,mu* ( ! "t1 he yield$ to dejection & appreh5sion1 z %e _h nev] kn[n him be=e4 ,he enjoy$ mu*1 b suff]$ m4 ,n bodily suff]+ :olly1 or *iefly2 b t :i* is mu* h>d] to be>1--! h>de/ ( all1--a s5se ( helplessness & ! increas+ fe> ( uselessness2 ! conviction1 9 ! v prime ( life1 t life's "w mu/ be left undone1 a call+ :i* he de>ly lov$ be rel9qui%$1 & he ei!r rema9 abroad a w&]] 9 se>* ( heal?1 or return home ) only ! capacity ( project+ num]\s plans & labors1 n "o ( :i* w\ld be ev] accompli%$4 ,all ?is 8 wife %>$1 at lea/ 9 its effect2 aga9/ all ?is %e _h con/antly to cont5d1 be>+ mo/ ( ! responsibility ( measures & results1 h] own heal? n /rong1 & soon subject$ to peculi> & mo/ anxi\s trials4 ,we h no desire to magnify ^! trials4 ,we only wi% to set !m 9 _! true light1 z mak+ an unusual--n an unprec$5t$1 b an unusual--dem& ^u ! tru/1 endurance1 & en]gy ( a wife & "m4 ,%e h]self has be5 he>d to say1 t ?is 0 ! mo/ try+ p]iod ( h] life2 t no o!r exp]i5ce equall$ x4 ,yet ?is w\ld h>dly be inf]r$ f h] lett]s at ! "t4 ,!y 7 necess>ily few1 b writt5 ) h] usual *e]fulness & unfail+ hopefulness4 ,n all ( !m1 h[ev]4 ,"o or two we h se51 su* z _c be us$1 t intimate1 r ?an express1 peculi> suff]+ & solicitude4 ,b ?is 0 9 confid5ce1 & = c\nsel2 x be+ "o ( ! peculi>ities ( ! case t x pres5t$ _m po9ts :]e x 0 v difficult to decide :e!r wisdom & duty %\ld c>ry !m f>!r on1 or turn !m in/antly back1--& ! decision 0 ) h]4 ,we w n attempt to foll[ !m closely 9 _! =eign t\r4 ,^? :o wi% to trace its progress1 & note ! dates & incid5ts1 w f9d !m 9 ! ,memoir ( ,h5ry ,w>e by 8 bro!r4 ,!y visit$ ,engl&1 ,scotl&1 ,irel&1 ,holl&1 ,switz]l&1 ,italy1 & ,france1 sp5d+ ! w9t] 9 ,italy4 ,! fir/ summ] !y pass$ ov] mu* ( ! gr\nd & s\ght ! spots1 9 ,engl&1 s famili> & memorable to ,m>y f h] =m] exp]i5ce4 ,!y visit$ ,wordswor?1 ,s\!y1 ,mrs4 ,hemans1 ,miss ,edgewor?2 & pass$ mu* "t ) ,unit>ian m9i/]s1 :om ,mr4 ,w>e wi%$ p>ticul>ly to see1 t he might le>n all he c\ld ( _! position1 cultivate a frat]nal feel+1 & op5 ! way = a m frequ5t & fri5dly correspond5ce betwe5 ^? ( ! same h\sehold ( fai? 9 ,engl& & ,am]ica4 ,ab\t ! la/ ( ,augu/ !y w5t to ! ,cont95t1 tak+ ,holl& fir/1 & !nce ?r\gh ,switz]l& into ,italy1 rea*+ ,rome 9 ,decemb]1 & rema9+ !re until ,april4 ,! few lett]s t ,mrs4 ,w>e wrote home w be giv5 9 ! ord] ( _! dates1 ) little explanation or comm5t4 ,"s are 9 ! =m ( a j\rnal2 & "h & !re we see ! h& ( ,mr4 ,w>e1 tak+ up ! ?read :i* 8 wife _h dropp$1 & !n leav+ h] to resume4 ,greta ,bridge1 ,july #h1 #ahbi4 ,,my ,,de> ,,emma3-- ,i slept la/ night 9 ! v same room1 at ,b>n>d ,ca/le1 :i* y & ,i occupi$ f\r ye>s ago4 ,& hav+ be5 9 _m places lately :]e we _h be5 toge!r1 su* z ,/udley1 ,ripon1 & ! ,george ,inn at ,york1 :]e we p>t$1 & moreov]1 z y h visit$ me 9 my dreams1 night aft] night1 = a long "t pa/1 ,i feel t ,i mu/ yield to ! desire ( writ+ to y1 al?\gh x may be b a few l9es ( un9t]e/+ matt]4 ,?is place w1 h[ev]1 insure to ! lett] "s value1 = ,i rememb] well h[ y wi%$ t ! ra9 w\ld abate1 t y might see some?+ ( its beauties4 ,i wi%$ x also !n1 b ,i wi% x mu* m n[1 t ,i h _h an opportunity (---- ,"h ! arrival ( ! coa* :i* 0 to take u f ?is p>adise cut %ort ,m>y's opportunity1 & ,i d>e say %e w n rememb] :at %e 0 go+ to write2 s t ,i1 h] sub/itute & lieut5ant1 g on to tell y h[ mu* we h m5tion$ y\r "n :ile on ^! romantic gr\nds1 & h[ glad we %\ld h be5 to trace ) y ! pa?s ( ,rokeby & ,greta 9 memory---- ,my lieut5ant seems to h be5 cut (f 9 8 m>* r abruptly also2 s ,i mu/ beg y to imag9e :at beautiful associations ( p]sons or ?+s he 0 ab\t to recall1 & proce$ ) my own pla9 /ory1--j to tell y t we 7 m ?an satisfi$ ) our walk2 x q meets ,scott's description4 ,we trod ! same pa? by :i* ,b]tram & ,wycliffe w\nd _! way f ,b>n>d ,ca/le to ,mor?am1 & a wild] or m wit*+ sc5e c\ld sc>cely be imag9$4 ,we _h walk$ f ,/ockton to ! ,ca/le by ! side ( ! ,tees1 sixte5 miles1 /opp+ = refre%m5t & re/ at ! little1 humble inns :i* alone are to be f\nd on ?is unfrequ5t$ r\te2 & truly1 aft] ! p>ade & luxury ( l>ge hotels1 x 0 a delightful *ange to see some?+ ( simple c\ntry life4 ,y w\ld h enjoy$ x1 too1 not)/&+ ! novelty ( c>ry+ ! equipm5ts ( "o's toilet 9 our pockets4 ,at ,p5ri? we f\nd our lett]s by ! ,may packet1 & y\rs1 de> ,emma1 0 mo/ welcome1 n only = ! news y gave me ( my d>l+ *ildr51 b = ! k9d feel+s :i* dictat$ x1 & ! great ent]ta9m5t x gave u4 ,x 0 j su* a lett] z we want$ j at t "t2 x 0 ! late/ acc\nt1 too1 t we _h _h1 = ?\gh "o f ,mrs4 ,b>n>d1 & ano!r f ,dr4 ,john & ,william1 rea*$ u at ! same "t1 !y 7 ( e>li] date4 ,y br\ght my little ,rob]t m vividly be=e my eyes ?an any ?+ ,i h he>d ( him4 ,i c\ld see 8 little h& re/+ on ,cl>issa's %\ld]1 look+ half coax+ly at y2 & if ! picture made me long to try if he w\ld notice me any bett]1 ,i 0 amply comp5sat$ = my inability to d s by ! k t he 0 do+ s well1 & "u su* k9d c>e4 ,at ,p5ri? ,i _h an attack simil> to t :i* ,i _h :5 y 7 at ,brookl9e ) me1 :i* deta9$ u a day2 b1 z x ra9$1 x 0 n ( mu* consequ5ce4 ,we _h project$ a drive r\nd ! lakes 9 a gig1 & ?is plan we ent]$ ^u ! next day 7,saturday1 #aa?71--j su* a day z we %\ld h ask$ =4 ,we w5t to ,ambleside1 via ,ullswat] & ,patt]dale1 :]e we sp5t ,sunday2 he>d ,wordswor?'s son prea*1 & look$ at ,w9d]m]e4 ,monday we breakfa/$ ) ,wordswor? at t lovely place1 :i* ,i d\bt n is /ill visible to y\r m9d's eye1 z we saw x t beautiful morn+4 ,x look$ j z beautiful )\t1 & z p]fectly 9 keep+ )91 z we _h imag9$ x4 ,i confess$ our !ft1 to ! no small amusem5t ( ,mrs4 ,wordswor?1 :o did n1 h[ev]1 seem surpris$ at our feel+s4 ,wordswor?1 8 wife1 son1 & daught]1 compos$ ! p>ty4 ,i wi%$ ,i c\ld h se5 him aga94 99 99 99 99 99 ,july #af4 ,de> me1 :at a c>eless *ild6 ,i h j discov]$ t ,i began my lett] on a %eet :i* ,mr4 ,w>e _h "o qu>t] fill$ to ano!r p]son2 &1 hav+ no "t to rewrite1 ,i mu/ s5d x piecemeal4 ,i 0 go+ to say1 t ,i wi%$ ,i c\ld h se5 ,wordswor? aga91 because he did n meet my expectation2 & !re=e ,i felt disappo9t$1 9 spite ( all my reason+ ) myself t my imag9ation %\ld n be ! /&>d 9 su* a case4 ,besides1 su* a man c\ld n be se5 at "o view2 t :i* is mo/ delightful 9 him w\ld n be delightful if x 7 ext]nal4 ,! ride to ,keswick y w rememb] well4 ,x lo/ no?+ by be+ se5 a second "t4 ,we 7 at ! same inn at :i* we =m]ly /opp$2 & ,i c\ld he>1 p]haps1 ! same horses tramp+ along ! same pavem5t ov] :i* our nags pac$ _! way = u t memorable morn+4 ,we drank tea at ,s\!y's1 ^: resid5ce is mu* m l a poet's ?an x appe>$ at a di/ance1 hav+ a f9e view ( ! lake betwe5 ! trees ) :i* x is almo/ envelop$4 ,i he>d him talk b little1 z !re 0 a p>ty at ! h\se2 b 0 m pleas$ ) t little ?an ,i expect$ to be4 ,8 /udy is j ! mo/ enviable "o t ,i ev] h se54 ,! next day we w5t ^u an exp$ition to ,crummock & ,butt]m]e1 :i*1 ?\gh fatigu+1 we enjoy$ highly1 hav+ a f9e r[ ^u ! lake4 ,we return$ to ,keswick by a road :i* gigs seldom pass ov]1 ! ,crag ?r\gh ,borr[dale4 ,x 0 j su* an exp$ition z y w\ld h enjoy$ on horseback1 p]haps on foot1 z we took x = ?ree ( ! wor/ miles ,i ev] pass$ ov] = r\ghness & wildness4 ,! la/ "p amply repaid u = our toil4 ,we rode by ! side ( ! ,keswick lake = ! :ole l5g?1 j z ! sun 0 sett+1 ye/]day4 99 99 99 99 99 ,july #ag4 ,o1 :at w\ld y n give = ! sight :i* is be=e me n[6--'fair ,melrose1' n by ! 'pale moonlight1' b by ! light ( z beautiful a sunset z y c\ld ask = ^u su* a sc5e4 ,i h n be5 out ( ! h\se yet1 hav+ cont5t$ myself ) look+ at x f my w9d[1 & am n[1 ) all dilig5ce1 scribbl+ = ! next ,bo/on packet1 :ile ,mr4 ,w>e has gone to see ,mrs4 ,hemans1 :o wrote u t we %\ld f9d h] 9 ?is neighborhood4 ,?is is no small addition to ! attractions ( ,melrose4 ,i feel v mu* z if ,i 7 go+ to see an old fri5d1 s ne> does sympa?y ) a p]son's writ+s br+ "o to ! writ] himself1 9 s\l at lea/1 if n 9 ! outw>d expression4 ,on our way hi!r f ,selkirk1 we pass$ ,abbots=d4 ,a motley gr\p ( t[]s & *imneys did x appe>2 & x v]ily made me hold up my head1 & feel /rong]1 at ! ?\ght ( brea?+ ! same atmosph]e ) its mighty inhabitant4 ,we pass$ ,branksome also to-day1 & came ?r\gh ,teviotdale1--classic gr\nd e in* ( x4 ,b x w n answ] = me to run on at ?is rate2 ,i %all sc>cely complete "o lett] beside1 :5 ,i wi% to write fifty4 ,j at ?is po9t ,h5ry return$ f 8 call1 ) ! orig9al ',dom9ie ,sampson1' & ! intellig5ce t ,mrs4 ,hemans w\ld jo9 u 9 our int5d$ visit to ! ,abbey4 ,! moon is j n[ 9 full-orb$ spl5dor4 ,?i!r1 !re=e1 we repair$2 & ,i met ,mrs4 ,hemans = ! fir/ "t on ! top ( "o ( ! t[]s1 9 su* a sc5e z begg>s all p[]s ( description4 ,nev] 7 mortals m favor$ by ! heav5s & ! e>? = su* an exp$ition4 ,! air 0 v mild2 n a s\nd di/urb$ ! midnight /illness b ! *irp+ ( ! ---- 7,i _c rememb] its ,scot* "n2 its s\nd is some:at l a cricket's74 ,!re 7 j cl\ds en\gh to give u all ! v>ieties ( light & %ade4 ,we did enjoy x highly4 ,& yet we almo/ wi%$ we _h be5 alone4 ,"o did n want to h ! int]e/ divid$2 & ! ,dom9ie's dry say+s & droll mann] _h su* an effect ^u our risibles1 t we _h1 9 spite ( ourselves1 a little too mu* ( ! ridicul\s ) ! sublime4 ,?is ,dom9ie1 ^: real "n is ,?omson1 junior m9i/] ( ! kirk ( ,melrose1 is unique1 n exactly su* z ,sir ,walt] has describ$1 b q z orig9al4 ,b ,i h come to ! end ( my lett]1 t is1 my "t4 ,love to all1 at ,canton1 ,milton1 ,brookl9e1 ,nahant1 ,roxbury1 ,bo/on1--a goodly company truly4 ,we h j _h a ride to ,dryburgh ,abbey1 on ! ,twe$1 a f9e ru9 beautifully situat$4 ,! riv] "h answ]s ,scott's description bett] ?an at ,b]wick4 ,!re are v _m lovely situations ^u its banks4 ,b ,i mu/ close4 ,) ,mr4 ,w>e's unit$ love1 & s9c]e wi%es t y 7 ) u1 y\rs mo/ affectionately1 ,,m>y ,l4 ,,w>e4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,to ,,mrs4 ,,lucy ,,all5 ,,& ,,mrs4 ,,h>riet ,,hall4 ,g5eva1 ,octob] #aa1 #ahbi4 ,,my ,,de> ,,good ,,si/]s3-- ,wi%+ to say v mu* ! same ?+s to y bo?1 & f9d+ t ! exp5se & tr\ble ( transport+ lett]s f ?is place across ! ,atlantic are pretty consid]able1 ,i am induc$ to address y bo? at once2 hop+ t ! "q ( title to ! possession ( ?is valuable docum5t w n give rise to a m sev]e litigation ?an ! lawy]s ( ,massa*usetts w be able to settle4 ,y\r lett]s rea*$ u 9 ! c\rse ( "t2 y\rs1 ,lucy1 :ile we 7 9 ,london1 & ,h>riet's j ?ree mon?s aft] its la/ date2 bo? mo/ welcome4 ,x is a pleasure :i* none b a pilgrim c und]/&1 to see ! v]itable h&writ+ ( a fri5d :5 sep>at$ by su* a space4 ,y say mu* ( ! pleasure we %all receive 9 ^! =eign p>ts f ! novelty1 c4 ( :at we may enc\nt]4 ,s x is2 & ,i tru/ t ,i %all enjoy all t we %\ld d f ! privilege all[$ u4 ,b ,i c tell y1 "u ! rose1 t !re is no pleasure 9 all ?is wide creation l t ( sitt+ d[n 9 a quiet corn]1 no matt] :at may be ar\nd u1 hold+ communion ) home2 & ,i fully believe t all travell]s w\ld tell y ! same1 if _! pride w\ld let !m4 ,we h1 z y may h le>n$1 fulfill$ 9 "p y\r fir/ wi%1 ,h>riet1--we h se5 ,miss ,edgewor?1 b n ,sir ,walt]4 ,%e is a %ort1 r fat1 extremely homely1 p]haps ,i might say ugly woman1 )\t a sp>k ( intellectual expression 9 h] /ill face1 & n ov]mu* 9 h] mo/ animat$ mom5ts2 b z full ( animation1 k9d feel+1 good s5se1 & intellig5ce1 9 h] conv]sation1 z "o c\ld desire2 a great talk]1 & a v good li/5]2 n an item ( p$antry or self-suffici5cy1 or inde$ any ?+ ( :at "o w\ld fe> to f9d 9 h] fa!r's daught]1 or 9 any woman :o _h be5 s celebrat$2 easy1 playful1 natural4 ,we =got x 0 ! r5[n$ ,miss ,edgewor?1 & felt only t x 0 somebody :o mu/ be lov$ & admir$4 ,we f\nd h] 9 ! old family mansion at ,edgewor?/[n1 :i!r we w5t fifty miles only out ( our way to see h]2 b all ! awkw>dness ( su* a lion-seek+ visit 0 entirely tak5 (f by ! reception we met ) f ! :ole family1 & we %\ld h felt q at our ease to h pass$ a week !re4 ,we c\ld /ay only a "p ( ?ree days2 t is1 "p ( two1 & ! :ole ( ! int]m$iate "o4 ,! only imp$im5t to our com=t 01 t1 be+ con/antly 9 ! family circle1 :i* is a l>ge "o1 we c\ld n talk ) ! lady h]self ^u _m po9ts :i* w\ld h be5 mo/ int]e/+4 ,p]haps we saw h] to peculi> advantage1 b we c]ta9ly d feel t %e has be5 greatly sc&aliz$ 9 hav+ ! reputation ( act+ ! p$antic au?oress1 & p>tak+ ( h] fa!r's scepticism4 ,s mu* = ,miss ,edgewor?4 ,i wi% ,i c\ld tell y half z mu* ( ,sir ,walt] f p]sonal obs]vation1 b he 0 out :5 ,h5ry call$ ) 8 fri5d1 ,mr4 ,hamilton2 & he is s ov]p[]$ ) visitors1 t we 7 n will+ to add ourselves to ! li/ ( ! curi\s :o p]secute him4 ,we 7 delight$ ) all t we he>d ( him2 inde$1 ! ne>] we view$ 8 "*1 ?r\gh ! m$ium ( ^? :o knew him1 ! m our admiration & desire to see him increas$4 ,x w\ld really seem t 8 va/ intellect is 8 lea/ rem>kable feature4 ,we saw _m ( 8 famili> lett]s to ,miss ,edgewor?1 & t 0 next be/ to he>+ him talk1 = !y are j l conv]sation4 ,mrs4 ,hemans1 too1 we h se51 & ,b[r+ a great deal1 & "s o!rs ( ! not$ ( ! pres5t day2 & we %all treasure ! remembrance ( ! few1 = !y h be5 b few4 ,x has be5 truly tantaliz+ to pass ?r\gh ,switz]l& 9 cl\ds & d>kness1 n[ & !n cat*+ a glimpse ( its beauties to %[ u :at we 7 los+1 b ! f> great] "p ( ! "t pass+ ?r\gh ! v f9e/ portions ( ! ,alp9e sc5]y )\t any visible indications t we 7 n 9 a level c\ntry4 ,b we h proce$$ ?us f> free f sickness1 dang]1 or ev5 difficulty1 & h !re=e too mu* reason to be grateful to f9d x possible to compla94 ,we f9d a great deal to amuse u 9 ! v>i\s habits & cu/oms ( ! c\ntries ?r\gh :i* we pass1 p>ticul>ly s9ce we left ,engl&2 & ! eat+ & dr9k+ "p ( ! bus9ess is n ! lea/ ent]ta9+4 ,we1 h[ev]1 manage to please ourselves1 & our ent]ta9]s1 too1 pretty well4 ,h5ry eats 8 bread & milk z com=tably z he w\ld at home1 & ,i d :at ju/ice ,i c to ! v>i\s di%es :i* are set be=e me1 ?\gh1 :5 !y am\nt1 z !y h done1 to tw5ty 9 numb]1 9 spite ( all ! ',j'ai f9i's' ,i c\ld utt]1 ,i h excit$ a smile ( contempt f ! wait]1 :o wond]$ at ! b>b>ism ( d9+ f "o di%4 ,we h n se5 a c>pet s9ce we left ,holl&1 except ^u ! sitt+-room ( an ,engli% lady "h1 & we h be5 9 "s h&somely furni%$ h\ses4444 ,o ?is p51 ink1 & pap]6 ,i w h no m to d ) !m1 b leave !m to ,h5ry4 ,y\r si/] ,,m>y 99 99 99 99 99 ,de> girls1 wom51 or wives3 ,my loquaci\s helpmate has m]ely left me a place to s5d my love1 & to say ,i wi% ,i _h room to write to y & y\r husb&s4 ,by way ( supplem5t1 ,i w j say ( myself1 t ,i am n[ able to talk :ile rid+1 )\t pa91 :i* ,i nev] c\ld d be=e we left ,engl&2 & c also read l\d a little :ile4 ,?is is some?+ wor? tell+ (4 ,my visit to ,g5eva1 ow+ to circum/ances1 is ! lea/ satisfactory t ,i h made4 ,y w p]haps he> aga9 f ! l& ( ! ,caes>s1 :5ce ,i w dictate a lett] full ( 'ettas1' & 'inas1' & 'issimas1' & 'ul9as1' & o!r sat9 euphonisms4 ,mean:ile1 peace be ) y6 ,y\r bro!r ,,h5ry4 ,we h add$ ,mr4 ,w>e's pleasant little po/script to ! la/ lett]1 *iefly to %[1 by 8 own confession1 h[ v feeble he mu/ h be51 & h[ great h] anxiety & c>e4 ,inde$1 %e says ( him at ?is "t1 ,8 sy/em requires re/2 x w be long be=e x is fit = use aga94 ,%e h]self 0 f> f well1 & _h ! depress+ prospect ( a m s]i\s sickness1 9 a =eign l&1 ) add$ c>es4 ,& yet nei!r ( !m 0 idle1 dur+ any p]iod ( t trial4 ,!y accompli%$ a great deal 9 v>i\s ways1 & prep>$ "o di/9ct "w = publication4 ,we say1 !y did x2 = ,mrs4 ,w>e seems to h jo9$ 9 t labor :i* aft]w>d gave u "o ( ! mo/ useful ( ,h5ry ,w>e's works4 ,we ref] to 8 treatise on ! ,=mation ( ! ,*ri/ian ,"*4 ,x is probably kn[n t ?is book 0 writt5 almo/ entirely 9 travell+2 fir/ 9 ?is c\ntry1 dur+ ! horseback jaunt :i* ,mr4 ,w>e took alone ?r\gh ,new ,engl& to ,canada1 9 #ahbh1 & !n abroad1 at v>i\s /ages ( ?is ,european t\r4 ,& "h x 0 9 ,mrs4 ,w>e's p[] to be ( ess5tial s]vice to h] husb&1 9 a way :i* %e expla9s 9 a lett] writt5 late 9 life1 half je/+ly tak+ to h]self a "p ( ! cr$it = ! "w to :i* we ref]4 ,to ,dr4 ,john ,w>e %e writes1 9 #ahdd1 9 ref]5ce to h] husb&'s labors 9 ?is & o!r ways1 at ! "t ( :i* we are speak+3-- ,y w ga!r f ! lett]s ( ,european fri5ds 9 :at e/imate he 0 held by !m4 ,t is ( little import2 b x %[s h[ fai?fully he pres]v$ 8 id5tity z a m9i/] ( ! ,gospel4 ,9 look+ back ^u ! jaunt1 z a :ole1 no?+ is s prom95t to my m9d z ! p]petual indications ( 8 rul+ passion1 if ,i may call x s1--8 love ( 8 pr(ession1--! eag]ness ) :i* he s\ght out 8 m9i/]ial bre?r5 :]ev] he he>d ( !m1 /opp+ by ! way-side to introduce himself & ext5d to !m ! h& ( fell[%ip1 (t5 go+ out ( ! way _m miles = t purpose1 & mak+ all o!r objects subs]vi5t to t ( increas+ 8 k ( m5 & ?+s p]ta9+ to ! m9i/]ial life4 ,i "k 8 visit 0 a useful "o to 8 bre?r5 9 _m respects4444 ,y "k1 ,i believe1 t ! great] "p ( 8 "w ^u ! ',*ri/ian ,"*' 0 writt5 on t t\r4 ,its pages are to my memory a sort ( di>y ( our progress1 associat$ z !y are ) ! pleasant ev5+s1 :51 aft] our autumnal day's j\rney1 hav+ despat*$ our supp]1 we settl$ ourselves at a little table be=e a *e]ful wood-fire 9 our inn1 & he ) 8 writ+ mat]ials1 & ,i ) my "w1 or writ+ or read+1 c\ld almo/ imag9e ourselves at home4 ,?us 7 my ev5+s sp5t 9 alt]nate writ+1 read+1 & criticism1 until ,i almo/ felt z if ,i _h writt5 ! book myself6 ,! end ( ! ye> #ahbi f\nd ,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,w>e travell+ f ,rome to ,naples2 & on ! la/ night1 fai?ful to h] fri5d%ips ev]y:]e1 %e began ! regul> annual to ,mrs4 ,pa9e1 :i* %e did n f9i% till aft] _! return to ,rome1 ?us giv+ "s acc\nt ( _! condition 9 bo? places4 ,/4 ,aga?a1#d ,decemb] #ca1 #ahbi4 ,,my ,,de> ,,nancy3-- ,?is is n ! fir/ annual :i* y h receiv$ ) a =eign date2 nei!r c y be surpris$ at any ab]ration 9 my orbit4 ,& yet me?9ks y w h to consid] twice be=e y c q realize t x is ',pe>l ,/reet ,m>y ,pick>d1' :o is writ+ y f ?is region ( anci5t glory & f>-fam$ beauty4 ,b s x is2 & c\ld y look 9 ^u me1 y w\ld wond]1 z ,i d1 t ! v peculi> *anges ( ! eighte5 ye>s y h kn[n me %\ld leave me s precisely ! same4 ,i beg9 to ?9k t ,i am made ( mo/ invuln]able mat]ials2 = "h ,i sit--surr\nd$ by z s+ul> & try+ circum/ances z any :i* ,i h ev] kn[n--z easy & happy1 ,i _h almo/ said z indiff]5t1 z if ! _w 7 jogg+ on ) me 9 ! tame/ way imag9able4 ,at no p]iod ( my life h ,i _h m = :i* to be ?ankful 9 review+ ! ye> :i* has pass$1--t we %\ld h travell$ s f> )\t ! slighte/ accid5t1 leav+ our de>e/ int]e/s s well provid$ =1 f9d+ s mu* k9dness :]ev] we h be51 & s _m facilities = our enjoym5t2 & above all1 t my husb&1 ?\gh n mu* bett]1 %\ld n h be5 made mu* worse by all ! disadvantages "u :i* he has labor$ ( climate & wea!r4 ,if ,i 7 at y\r elb[1 h[ ,i %\ld love to give y a detail ( "s ( our exp]i5ces dur+ ! ye>4 ,y "k en\gh ( ! outl9es to guess at ! m9utiae 9 _m in/ances1 & en\gh ( u bo? to imag9e ! int]nal effects produc$ by !m4 99 99 99 99 99 ,rome1 ,m>* #b;d4 ,back 9 ,rome aga91 aft] a five weeks' soj\rn 9 ,naples1 f :i* place ,i %\ld h despat*$ ?is1 b t ,i did n ?9k x q wor? :ile to s5d su* a piece ( egotism s f> by mail4 ,we _h almo/ incessant ra9 :ile at ,naples1 :i* prev5t$ our do+ & see+ z mu* z we wi%$2 b ! few f9e days we _h1 we enjoy$ & employ$ to ! utmo/4 ,al?\gh 9 ,janu>y1 !y 7 l our ,june days4 ,a %awl 0 too w>m a g>m5t to be borne 9 ! sun1 & ^u our out-(-t[n exp$itions we took our lun* 9 ! op5 air4 ,^! 7 r>e days1 to be sure1 b !y gave u "s idea ( :at ! climate w\ld h be5 _h ! season be5 a common "o1 = s mu* ra9 at t "t1 !y told u1 0 almo/ unprec$5t$4 ,we w5t ( c\rse to ,pompeii1 :]e ,i _h _m & pleasant recollections ( y\r husb&1 tell him2 = ! explanations :i* he gave me1 :5 we saw ! panorama ( t place toge!r 9 ,london1 _h made x all s famili> to my m9d t ,i c\ld n easily ov]come ! impression t ,i _h be5 !re be=e4 ,vesuvius we 7 cont5t to admire at a di/ance1 fe>+ ! asc5t w\ld be injuri\s to my husb&4 ,b ! classical regions ( ,av]nus & ! ,elysian fields1 ! abode ( ! ,cumaean ,sibyl1 & ! beautiful temples ( ,baiae1 we explor$ at our leisure4 ,i c sc>cely fancy any locality m beautiful = a city ?an t ( ,naples1 &1 view$ at a di/ance1 x has a v impos+ appe>ance2 b 9 itself x is noisy1 dirty1 & disagreeable1 ) ! exception ( ! mod]n "p ( ! /reet :i* bord]s ^u ! bay4 ,we _h rooms 9 t /reet1 )9 =ty feet ( ! wat]1 & 9 ra9 or sun%9e enjoy$ ! beauty ( ! bay ) equal delight4 ,we return$ hi!r 9 company ) ,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,gr9nell1 & ,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,roll9s1 ) :om we h be5 ! great] "p ( ! "t s9ce we arriv$ 9 ,flor5ce 9 ,novemb]4 ,we are at lodg+s ) !m "h1 &1 z y may suppose1 v mu* enjoy our quiet family p>ty4 ,we h also ,dr4 & ,mrs4 ,kirkl&1 & ,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,g\ld1 f our "p ( ! c\ntry1 & _m f ,new ,york4 ,!re is s mu* to be done "h1 & my husb& is oblig$ to d ?+s s leisurely1 t ,i "k n t we %all ev] see half t is to be se54 ,!re is a great diff]5ce betwe5 travell+ = heal? & m]e pleasure4 ,almo/ all our fri5ds w be on ! w+ be=e u1 b ,i tru/ we %all f9d our way home 9 good "t1 & be ! bett] = hav+ come4 ,mr4 ,w>e's is j su* an unc]ta9 case1 t x is impossible to h any v decid$ op9ion ab\t x1--he sometimes seem+ almo/ z well z ev]1 !n aga9 pro/rat$ by "s v trifle4 ,on ! :ole1 !re is /ill mu* to hope f "t & c>e1 b no?+ to flatt] "o into ! hope ( spe$y re/oration4 ,may we h pati5ce to wait ) *e]fulness ! full developm5t ( ! designs ( ,heav5 ) reg>d to u1 hop+ = good1 & will+ to submit to trial6 ,?is is ! season ( ,l5t1 :i* makes no app>5t *ange 9 ! /ate ( ?+s1 & be=e we leave ,rome we %all h ! fam\s solemnities ( ,holy ,week1 :51 if ! ,pope does n die 7:i* x is report$ he is ab\t do+71 ,i hope to witness ! illum9ation ( ,/4 ,pet]'s1 & to li/5 to ! ,mis]]e4 ,s f>1 ,i h n he>d any music 9 ,italy :i* satisfi$ me1 except once ! vesp]s ( ! nuns 9 "o ( ! *ur*es "h2 x is all too l\d1 rapid1 & !atrical4 ,b x is "t to despat* my lett]1 s good by4 ,y\rs1 mo/ affectionately1 ,m4 ,l4 ,,w>e4 ,footnote #d3 ,a little village1 or r almo/ solit>y inn1 betwe5 ,rome & ,naples4 ,! la/ date ( ! above lett] is ! #b;d ( ,m>*2 & be=e ! close ( t mon? ,mrs4 ,w>e's second *ild 0 born1--a daught]1 :o /ill lives4 ,mr4 ,w>e's lett]1 ann\nc+ ! ev5t to 8 bro!r 9 ,bo/on1 expresses 8 gratitude = ! _m m]cies t surr\nd$ !m1 among excell5t fri5ds1 mak+ z pretty a little1 quiet dome/ic circle z ev] ,rome has se5 s9ce ! days ( ! tw9 f\nd]s4 ,at ! same "t1 he confesses 8 entire disc\ragem5t 9 reg>d to 8 own heal?1 & _! great emb>rassm5t at :at c\rse to pursue4 ,i am we>y ( ?is mis]ably idle life1 & yet ,i am fit = no o!r4 ,i am afraid to g home1 because ,i "k ,i %all only be able to d half ! requisite "w1 & to d t n m ?an half2 yet to /ay away is altoge!r out ( ! "q4 ,z usual1 ,m>y 0 ready to d any ?+ t seem$ be/1 ev5 to g home alone ) h] new *>ge1 if h] husb& w\ld be b5efit$ by rema9+ long] & act+ freely4 ,"s prompt & decid$ c\rse %e advis$1 at :atev] sacrifice4 ,we h talk$ ov] ?is matt] toge!r1 & ! only relief :i* ,m>y is able to sugge/ is1 t ,i %\ld /ate my case exactly1 resign ! pr(essor%ip1 s z n to be a burd5 or h9drance to ^? = :om ,i c>e m ?an = myself1 s5d h] home f ,havre1 & sp5d a ye> 9 travell+ ,europe on foot & on horseback4 ,?is might be done at a v small exp5se1 an exp5se :i* we c\ld meet )\t tax+ ,college or fri5ds4 ,we c easily conceive ( ! anxiety ( a high-m9d$ woman1 a devot$ wife & "m1 at su* a crisis4 ,we h said t ,mrs4 ,w>e has be5 kn[n to ref] to ?is exp]i5ce z ! great trial ( h] life1 & we suppose ! p]iod ( :i* we are speak+ 0 ! mo/ try+ ( all2 especially if we comprise 9 x ! few mon?s t prec$$ ! bir? ( h] *ild1--a season ( :i* %e has writt5 m freely ?an ( any o!r ( h] trials4 ,nor c we %[ ! full p[] ( h] endurance at t "t1 & h] wond]ful en]gy1--su* z is common only to woman1--unless by giv+ "p ( a lett] writt5 to h] physician1 describ+ ?is exp]i5ce4 ,n = a s+le day free f positive pa91 ,i felt det]m9$ to keep out ( sight all physical z well z m5tal di/ress4 ,9 ?is ,i believe ,i succe$$1 except+ :5 occasionally nature 0 ov]p[]$1 & ,i lo/ = a "t my consci\sness4 ,b ! ef=t to keep a *e]ful outside1 :5 ! body 0 und]go+ s great suff]+1 & ! m9d fully awake to all ! unc]ta9ties & possibilities :i* lay be=e u1 c only be appreciat$ or kn[n by "o simil>ly situat$4 ,my fai? nev] fail$ me1 nor my confid5ce t ! c\rse ,i _h adopt$ 0 ! "r "o4 ,b ! degree ( t5sion to :i* e faculty 0 /ret*$1 all ! "t1 0 j z mu* z my reason c\ld be> un%ak52 & m ?an x c\ld h borne1 ,i believe1 _h n my n]ves f\nd relief 9 h\rs ( te>ful pro/ration1 :5 ,h5ry 0 asleep1 or s f> out ( ! way z n to detect x4 ,we h no fur!r p>ticul>s to give ( ! soj\rn 9 ,rome4 ,! travell]s gladly turn$ _! faces t[>d home ! mom5t ! season & _! /r5g? w\ld p]mit4 ,e>ly 9 ,may we he> ( !m 9 ,g5eva1 & at ! end ( t mon? 9 ,p>is4 ,f bo? ^? places ,mr4 ,w>e writes home1 9 a di%e>t5$1 yet decid$ tone1 z to 8 return1 %[+ :at a burd5 ( anxiety !y 7 /ill be>+4 ,i h only spok5 out m pla9ly :at has = "s "t be5 my conviction1 t ,i am ga9+ no?+2 & ,i simply wi% to h y prep>$ = a prop] reception ( my mis]ability :5 ,i %all return4 ,i am sure ,i ne$ n /ay away2 ,i am sure ,i am n fit to d any h>d "w2 ,i d n ?9k ,i c\ld edit ! ,exam9]4 ,b ,i w come home by ! packet ( ,july #bj?1 & y %all judge4 ,x w be ! h>de/ ( all ,i h yet done1 to ab/a9 f ,cambridge1 especially z ,mr4 ,norton vacates 8 place1 & !re is ! m ne$ ( o!r labor]s4 ,9 ,june1 ,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,w>e 7 sep>at$ = a "t1 %e tak+ lodg+s ) h] infant at ,wal?am ,abbey1 & he mak+ an excursion alone = 8 heal?4 ,soon aft] he left h]1 ,m>y wrote to him ?us3--,i am q sure x 0 be/ = y to g1 ?\gh !re 0 "s risk 9 x4 ,if y only keep a %>p wat* ^u y\r 'excitables1' n mi/ak+ ! effect ( !m = /r5g?1 & s d n ov]do1 y w1 ,i d\bt n1 be bett] = ! jaunt2 y w be ga9+ mu* m5tal satisfaction1 & ,i am sure t w help ! body4444 ,y\rs to ',miss ,pick>d' is j receiv$4 ,! de> little ,miss is z good z possible2 %e kn[s h[ mu* ,i wi% ,i 7 ) y1 & coos & smiles all ! "t to make me cont5t$4 ,i am ?ankful y are s well1 & ?\gh ,i %\ld h ri*ly enjoy$ be+ ) y1 ,i am sure x is bett] = y to be alone4 ,i want to g to ,*a?am next week1 if ,i feel bett]1 b x is su* a luxury to be at re/6 ,o1 de>e/1 h[ we %all enjoy x6 ,i h _h "t to ?9k a little1 & collect my scatt]$ wits1 & ,i c\ld p\r out volumes ( ! result ( my cogitations--b voila6 ! end ( my pap]6 ,d all y c1 see all y c )\t injury1 ga9 all t is possible to ga91 & above all1 feel t y h "t en\gh2 t is1 don't feel 'hurri$'2 x is de/ructive to com=t & pr(it4 ,9 ?is lett] we f9d also a h9t1 :i* tells some?+ ( ,m>y's cont9u$ ?\ghtfulness & g5]\s provision = t poor old aunt :om %e left at ,osmo!rly five ye>s be=e4 ,on fir/ arriv+ 9 ,engl&1 %e _h aga9 visit$1 ) h] husb&1 t sc5e ( s+ul> int]e/ & m+l$ recollections4 ,& n[ t ,mr4 ,w>e is j\rney+ alone 9 t direction1 %e writes to him3 ,%\ld y g to ,osmo!rly 7:i* is n q wor? :ile1 z x w\ld take y two days71 give ,aunty h] ye>ly all[ance1 if y c1--t5 p\nds4 ,b no1 ,i rememb] y did n take en\gh ) y4 ,write h] a ^w1--x w please h]2 & pay ! po/age4 ,?is 0 said at ! v "t t ,mrs4 ,w>e _h d5i$ h]self ! pleasure ( go+ ) h] husb&1 on acc\nt ( ! add$ exp5se ( travell+ ) an infant4 ,%e cont9u$ t annuity to h] aunt z long z %e liv$1 & a fri5d ?9ks x 0 d\bl$ "p ( ! "t4 ,we br+ ! fact to notice1 because1 f a delicacy :i* ought n1 p]haps1 to suppress facts s illu/rative ( "*1 we h =borne to give half ! pro( we f\nd1 9 lett]s & 9 conv]sation ) fri5ds1 ( h] noble g5]osity 9 connection ) ! /ricte/ dome/ic economy1 & )al a p]sonal self-d5ial & simplicity t caus$ rem>k1 if n c5sure4 ,c\ld all ! facts be giv5 ( h] e>ly surr5d] ( prop]ty to a consid]able am\nt1 :5 %e might h held x1 & ! rigid re/riction ( h] p]sonal exp5diture1 ?r\gh life1 )9 ! limits ( b>e com=t & respectability1 :ile !re 7 times :5 %e c\ld h done mu* m = h]self1 & no "t :5 h] hospitalities 7 n )\t /9t1--7 x "r1 or 7 x desirable1 to ref] to facts & in/ances confirm+ ?is g5]al /atem5t1--we are sure x w\ld be se5 to be at ! lea/ wor?y ( honor & imitation4 ,b ! v ?\ght ( h] dis9t]e/$ness1 & secret *>ities1 *ecks & rebukes u4 ,be=e leav+ ,engl&1 %e wrote ! foll[+ lett] to ! two *ildr5 9 ,am]ica4 ,wal?am ,abbey1 ,june #ai1 #ahcj4 ,,my ,,de> ,,*ildr53-- ,x is a long "t s9ce ,i wrote to ei!r ( y1 = ,i 0 ill = "s weeks1 & s9ce ,i got well1 ,i h be5 travell+ almo/ e day1 & h n _h "t to sit d[n quietly4 ,b all ?is :ile ,i h ?\ght mu* ( y1 p>ticul>ly :5 ,i 0 ly+ on ! b$ sick4 ,:5 ,i rememb]$ h[ great 0 ! di/ance :i* sep>at$ u f y1 & h[ unc]ta9 x 0 if we ev] saw y aga91 ,i wi%$ t ,i c\ld be sure t y w\ld always be good1 do+ t :i* w\ld please ,god1 t ,i might hope to be unit$ to y aga9 9 heav54 ,y d n "k h[ (t5 y\r fa!r & ,i h talk$ ab\t y s9ce we left y1 or h[ anxi\s we h felt t y %\ld improve2 we hope to f9d t y h made a good use ( ! "t ( our abs5ce1 if we are ev] p]mitt$ to see our home aga92 & h[ happy we %all be to h y ) u1 n to be sep>at$ aga91 ,i tru/1 = a long "t6 ,y w be glad to "k t y\r de> fa!r is bett] ?an :5 he left home4 ,he has gone n[ to ,man*e/] = a few days1 & ,i h come ) little ,baby f ,london to /ay ) a c\s9 :ile he is abs5t4 ,baby w h be5 a great travell] by ! "t %e gets home1 b %e w n be any ! wis] = x2 :5 %e kn[s h[ _m wond]ful ?+s %e has pass$ by1 %e w wi% %e _h be5 old en\gh to obs]ve !m4 ,i h se5 a great _m gr[n-up p 9 our travels1 :o1 ,i ?9k1 w n "k mu* m ?an %e does ( :at !y h pass$ by1 because !y h n ! habit ( obs]v+ & ?9k+ ab\t :at !y see2 !y rem9d me ( ! /ory 9 ',ev5+s at ,home1' entitl$ ',eyes & no-,eyes4' ,i d>e say y recollect x4 ,o!rs are n wis] = _! travels1 because !y h n prep>$ !mselves to und]/& :at !y see1 by read+2 !y c>e no?+ ab\t ! antiquities ( a c\ntry1 because !y "k no?+ ab\t its hi/ory2 or ! works ( art :i* !y meet )1 because !y d n "k h[ !y are made1 or _! uses4 ,y w be surpris$ to f9d1 z y gr[ old] & "k m1 h[ mu* e ?+ :i* y h le>n$ w add to y\r pleasure4 ,i d>e say y h _m lessons giv5 y1 ( :i* y d n see ! use at pres5t1 b y w by & by1 & if y fix !m well 9 y\r memory y w be v glad !n4 ,x is n[ ! #bf? ( ,june1 & we h j he>d t ! k+ ( ,engl& di$ ?is morn+1 & 8 bro!r1 ! ,duke ( ,cl>5ce1 0 proclaim$ k+1 at twelve o'clock1 at ,we/m9/]4 ,on ,monday he w be proclaim$ at ?ree places 9 ,london1 by h]alds dress$ 9 v gay co/ume1 su* z has always be5 worn on l occasions = _m c5turies1 ( c\rse v diff]5t f mod]n dresses4 ,!y w use trumpets 9 ord] to be he>d by z _m p z possible1 :o w no d\bt collect 9 great cr[ds to he> !m4 ,! new k+ is call$ ,william ! ,f\r?4 ,!re w be a great p>ade at ! k+'s fun]al1 & ! new k+'s coronation1 b we %all n see ei!r4 ,i hope we %all be on ! wat] be=e !y take place1 = ! prep>ations are to be s great1 t x is said ?ree weeks at lea/ w be necess>y = ! fun]al1 & p]haps mon?s = ! coronation4 ,! next heir to ! cr[n is a little girl1 only a ye> old] ?an y1 ,elizabe?4 ,good by1 my de> *ildr54 ,y\r lov+ ,"m4 ,on ! passage home1 9 ,augu/1 ,mrs4 ,w>e _h ano!r sev]e trial ( h] physical & m5tal en]gies1--a trial t is suppos$ to h ess5tially impair$ ! vigor ( a rem>kably /rong & endur+ frame4 ,mr4 ,w>e1 :o _h ga9$ little if any /r5g? dur+ _! :ole abs5ce1 became sev]ely ill f a pa9ful & al>m+ attack ( acute disease4 ,8 wife 0 8 only nurse1 &1 if we recollect "r1 ! only physician4 ,& !re1 amid all ! deprivations & discom=ts ( ! sea1 conf9$ to ! n>r[ range ( a small /ate-room1 c>ry+ 9 h] arms a re/less infant1 ( :i* ^? mo/ will+ c\ld b seldom relieve h]1 & ) ! :ole weight ( ! responsibility ^u h] sadd5$ he>t1 t wife & "m p]=m$ (fices & made ex]tions1 :i*1 by "s acqua9t$ ) all ! circum/ances1 h be5 call$ almo/ sup]human4 ,"o fe>ful night especially1 ! night :i* 0 to det]m9e ! result1 %e wat*$ ov] ! flick]+ & app>5tly expir+ light ( ! life mo/ de> to h]1 9 anxi\s & mo/ ardu\s s]vices1 until ! crisis _h pass$4 ,h] husb& recov]$ f ?is attack almo/ entirely1 be=e ! end ( ! voyage2 b ! effect ^u h]self1 ( all %e _h done & endur$ 9 ! la/ sev5te5 mon?s1 0 a pro/rat+ & protract$ sickness soon aft] h] return4 ,up to ?is "t1 we suppose ,mrs4 ,w>e to h possess$ a p[] ( action & endurance seldom equall$ 9 h] own sex or 9 ! same walk ( life4 ,yet %e us$ to say t h] natural temp]am5t 0 sluggi% r ?an active1 & t h] activity 0 an ex]tion4 ,recurr+1 "s ye>s lat]1 to ?is same season1 %e writes3 ,y d n "k me z well z y might1 or y w\ld n talk ( my activity4 ,naturally ,i am ess5tially indol5t2 & to ?is day no "o kn[s ! ef=t x (t5 co/s me to r\se myself f my le?>gy4 ,/ill ,i h _h a pride 9 my physical ability1 :i* has sometimes impell$ me :5 bett] motives ought to h op]at$4 ,b t pride _h a fall1 :5 ,i w5t to ,europe ) ,mr4 ,w>e1 f :i*1 x seems to me1 x c nev] rise aga94 ,yet x may influ5ce me :5 ,i d n suspect x1 & ,i %all look out %>p = x4 ,x 0 9 ?is connection also t ,mrs4 ,w>e repell$ ! idea ( sacrifice 9 su* relations4 ,! phrase 'sacrifice = ^? we love1' ,i d n q und]/&4 ,i %\ld ?9k ! ?+ int5d$ 0 m ne>ly alli$ to ! g]m ( selfi% gratification1 & !re=e z little entitl$ to ! appellation ( a virtue z any o!r selfi% prop5sity4 ,j be=e leav+ ,am]ica = ?is ,european t\r1 :5 n /rong h]self1 %e _h writt5 to h] husb&1 ,i am v mu* afraid ( becom+ too ?\ghtful ( ?is poor body ( m9e4 ,& n[1 on h] return1 %e 0 compell$ to ?9k ( x m ?an ev] be=e4 ,x4 ,,life ,,9 ,,cambridge4 ,mr4 ,w>e's connection ) 8 p>i% 9 ,bo/on _h be5 cont9u$1 at ! e>ne/ reque/ ( ! p1 9 ! hope1 t1 if he remov$ to ,cambridge1 he might /ill reta9 ! pa/oral (fice1 & p]=m su* ( ! duties z %\ld be p]fectly easy4 ,a connection :i* _h exi/$ ?irte5 ye>s1 9 p]fect h>mony & mutual atta*m5t1 c\ld n be sund]$ )\t mutual pa94 ,to no man liv+ did p]man5ce 9 ! pa/oral (fice seem m desirable or m important ?an to ,h5ry ,w>e2 & ! "t _h n !n q come :5 pa/or & p c\ld sep>ate 9 a day1 ) or )\t cause4 ,nor c\ld ,mrs4 ,w>e be indiff]5t to su* a *ange4 ,x 0 ! ext+ui%m5t ( _m hopes :i* %e _h fondly *]i%$1 9 becom+ ! wife ( "o ^: e>lie/ *oice & highe/ ambition _h be5 = ! m9i/ry & a p>i% life1--a life :i* _h attractions h>dly less /rong = h]self4 ,b n[ !y _h no *oice4 ,:atev] ! sacrifice requir$1 nei!r ( !m 0 will+ to rema9 9 an (fice1 ^: duties !y c\ld n p]=m ) vigor & entire devotion4 ,a dissolution ( ! connection 0 !re=e ask$1 imm$iately aft] _! return f ,europe4 ,& ! society1 9 yield+ to ! obvi\s duty ( grant+ ! reque/1 express$ e>ne/ly _! s5se ( obligation & gratitude1 n only to _! pa/or1 b also to h] :o _h be5 8 co-labor] 9 _! s]vice4 ,9 _! f9al lett]1 !y say3 ,we %\ld d inju/ice to our feel+s if we fail$1 on ?is occasion1 to make m5tion ( h] also1 :o has laid u "u su* obligations by h] devot$ness to y :5 we look$ ^u y z belong+ to ourselves1 & :o1 ?\gh n long ) u1 _h already taught u h[ highly to value & h[ deeply to regret h]4 ,9 ,octob]1 #ahcj1 ,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,w>e took up _! abode 9 ,cambridge2 :]e he ent]$ at once1 9 improv$1 b /ill feeble heal?1 ^u ! duties ( ! new ,pr(essor%ip ( ,pulpit ,eloqu5ce & ,pa/oral ,c>e4 ,& except ! place :i* !y _h be5 compell$ to resign1 = :i* !y bo? reta9$1 we ?9k1 z long z !y liv$1 a /rong pref]5ce & l+]+ desire1 no situation c\ld h be5 f\nd m acceptable ?an ?is at ,cambridge4 ,a po/ ( great responsibility1 call+ = all ! /r5g? & labor t any c\ld be/[1 x 0 yet a position ( peculi> privilege & opportunity1 9 ! mid/ ( family connections1 ne> to all _! fri5ds1 & hav+ close relations to ! m9i/ry :i* !y s lov$4 ,9 _m ways1 too1 w\ld ^! relations af=d to ,mrs4 ,w>e h]self facilities = action1 & ! ex]cise ( h] peculi> p[]s & affections4 ,yet !re 7 two great anxieties :i* ,mrs4 ,w>e br\ght to ?is new situation2 "o1 relat+ to ! heal? ( h] husb&2 ! o!r1 to _! /rait5$ pecuni>y means4 ,! fir/ ( ^! 0 kn[n1 & c\ld be und]/ood by all4 ,! la/ w nev] be und]/ood1 except by ^? simil>ly situat$1 & z high-m9d$1 g5]\s1 & desir\s ( usefulness4 ,we speak ( ?is z a g5]al tru?4 ,!re is m m5tal suff]+1 m physical feebl5ess1 & great] loss to ! community 9 reg>d to ! en]gy & activity ( ^? :o w\ld s]ve x1 result+ f ?is "o cause1 ?an p]haps f any o!r4 ,we say x 9 no temp] ( compla9t1 mu* less ( c5sure2 = we "k n :]e ! fault lies1 if !re be any4 ,b we d "k ! fact1 & !re c be few :o h n se5 x 9 "s ( e call+1--t ! necessity ( incessant ?\ghtfulness & extreme c>efulness = ! ?+s ( ?is _w1 ) ! dread ( debt or dep5d5ce ( any k9d1 9 ! mid/1 too1 ( sickness & ! utmo/ unc]ta9ty1 is a weight ^u ! he>t1 & an ob/acle to ! en]gies1 su* z no fai?1 or =titude1 or philosophy c :olly ov]come2 no1 nor ev5 ! exp]i5ce1 z 9 ?is in/ance1 ( ceaseless k9dness1 & a lib]ality ready to d all t delicacy w\ld p]mit4 ,! fact rema9s1--bett] kn[n ?an expla9$1 & insep>able1 x may be1 f ! con/itution ( society1 possibly f ! nature ( man1--aggravat$1 z ! trial (t5 is1 by ! infirmity & helplessness :i* ,god himself appo9ts4 ,! beg9n+ ( _! life 9 ,cambridge 0 made memorable by "o ( ! longe/ & mo/ s]i\s sicknesses t ,mrs4 ,w>e _h ev] kn[n4 ,we h already ref]r$ to x1 z probably caus$ by ! uncommon dem&s ( _! j\rney abroad & ! voyage home4 ,we did n ref]1 9 its place1 to a sev]e illness :i* %e _h 9 ,g5eva1 ( :i* %e gives an acc\nt 9 a note "s ye>s lat]1 & speaks ( x z v s]i\s4 ,_m causes ?us conspir$ to pr$ispose h] to ?is attack1 :i*1 = ! fir/ "t 9 h] life1 s f> z we "k1 0 ( a pulmon>y "*1 & %ut h] up = ! :ole w9t]1--a sev]e trial1 :]e s mu* 0 wait+ to be done1 & aft] s long a p]iod ( abs5ce f home & active duty4 ,!re 0 great] pro/ration1 & m imm95t p]il1 ?an all 7 aw>e (1 & m1 we suppose1 ?an ev] be=e4 ,h] sickness mu/ h begun almo/ imm$iately aft] !y w5t to ,cambridge2 = 9 ! same mon? ,mr4 ,w>e writes to ,rev4 ,mr4 ,all5 ( ,nor?bor\gh1 z if he _h = "s "t be5 v anxi\s1 & 0 !n only beg9n+ to hope4 ,i am happy to be able to say1 t ,m>y does seem to be do+ bett]1--! fir/ day t ,i h ?\ght s4 ,h] disord] has _h transi5t int]missions1 b nev] be=e seem$ to yield4 ,i ?9k n[ %e has fairly begun to m5d4 ,b %e is wret*$ly weak1 & a little talk+ makes h] ho>se4 ,we h kept h] z quiet z possible1 & =bidd5 all visitors2 yet %e has n be5 z quiet z mo/ p]sons1 because %e does n "k h[ to take ?\ght = h]self1 & cont9ues h] int]e/ = all ab\t h]4 ,%e has suff]$ a great deal ( sev]e pa91 & h] c\gh has be5 kept f di/ress+ h] only by opiates4 ,y rightly guess h[ great a disappo9tm5t ( our hopes ?is has be54 ,i h n be5 )\t v s]i\s appreh5sions z to ! result2 & y may judge :at mu/ be felt1 :5 we are appreh5sive = "o s p]fectly invaluable z %e4 ,y "k h] 9 "p1 b "o mu/ "k h] intimately z ,i d1 to und]/& half h] wor?4 ,&1 aga91 z late z ,novemb]1 ,mr4 ,w>e writes to ,miss ,=bes t ,m>y is n yet able to be> any visitor1 n ev5 "o z intimate z %e1 ^: society & sympa?y !y s mu* desir$4 ,& he adds1 9 conclud+ 8 lett] to t excell5t fri5d1 ,emma1 :om !y _h n se5 s9ce _! return f ,europe3 ,s9ce we met1 we h all se5 *anges & trials1 & are at lea/ m exp]i5c$ 9 ! discipl9e ( ,provid5ce4 ,i e/eem myself q well2 & if my cup 7 n da%$ ) ! bitt]ness ( ,m>y's ill heal?1 ,i %\ld h m s\rces ( happ9ess ?an ,i c\ld p]haps be> rightly4 ,9 a few weeks1 ,miss ,f---- w5t to ,mrs4 ,w>e1 & devot$ h]self entirely to ! c>e ( h] = two mon?s or m4 ,! communion ( ^! cong5ial m9ds 0 v beautiful1 & w help at v>i\s po9ts to illu/rate ! "* ( ,m>y4 ,_! intimacy began e>ly1 & 0 nev] int]rupt$4 ,h[ true !y 7 to ea* o!r1 h[ socially & spiritually confid+1 h[ mu* !y mutually imp>t$ & receiv$1 ?r\gh life & 9 dea?1 c be kn[n only to ^? :o "k all2 = bo? _! natures1 ev5 9 _! pres5t exaltation1 might %r9k f ! disclosure ( "s ( ! evid5ces ( _! t5d] & g5]\s love4 ,_! int]c\rse at ?is "t1 s(t5$ by ! sickness f :i* ,m>y 0 v sl[ly ris+1 & :i*1 we h se51 awak5$ _m appreh5sions1 mu/ h be5 peculi>ly grateful4 ,x 0 a season ( preci\s exp]i5ce to ,mrs4 ,w>e1 z w be se5 9 ! fir/ lett] %e wrote1--h] fai?ful annual to ! fri5d 9 ,worce/]4 ,cambridge1 ,decemb] #ca1 #ahcj4 ,ano!r ye> has pass$ away1 de>e/ ,nancy1 s9ce ,i la/ spread be=e me a fair :ite page1 on :i* to tell y t ,i 0 /ill 9 exi/5ce2 & in/ead ( ',/4 ,aga?a' & ! disagreeables belong+ to x1 behold me 9 my own bless$ home1 scribbl+ at ! same old desk4 ,a *ange1 inde$1 & :at a *ange1 = "o %ort ye>6 ,y "k x all1 & ,i ne$ n1 if ,i c\ld1 rec\nt ! v>i\s causes = deep1 f]v5t gratitude :i* rise to my memory 9 ! retrospect4 ,y c und]/&1 )\t explanation1 :y x is t ! ?\ght ( !m s entirely ov]:elms me t ,i _c t\* ^u !m ) suffici5t calmness ev5 to write ab\t !m4 ,i %all be less tir$ to-morr[ morn+1 & w resume2 b ,i c\ld n let ?is eve1 s long sacr$ to y1 pass )\t m>k+ x4 ,f>ewell1 !n1 = ?is "t4 99 99 99 99 99 ,janu>y #af4 ,i h suff]$ a long] p]iod to pass away )\t cont9u+ ?is ?an ,i int5d$4 ,i "k n h[ x is1 b ,i f9d t ye> aft] ye> passes (f1 & /ill ! same errors are to be m\rn$ ov]2 & = "o ,i beg9 to fe> t ! habit ( procra/9ation w adh]e to me ?r\gh life4 ,i 0 weak1 & my n]ves s excitable1 :5 ,i began ?is1 t ,i c\ld n ev5 recur 9 ?\ght to ! ev5ts ( ! pa/ ye>1 & reta9 dec5t composure4 ,b ! impression ( _! review has n pass$ away1 & ,i tru/ nev] w2 & ,i feel t x w\ld d my he>t good to g ov] ! gr\nd ) y 77 y only by my side71 n ( _! ext]nal "*1 t y "k already1 b ( ! effect ( su* discipl9e ^u ! m9d4 ,con/ant exposure to ! wea!r h>d5s ! sk91 & ! habit ( liv+ "u circum/ances ( trial dead5s "o's s5sibilities2 & ,i c\ld n n[1 if ,i w\ld1 be z /rongly affect$ by !m z ,i us$ to be dur+ my novitiate4 ,/ill1 ,i h n q ceas$ to feel1 & consequ5tly to suff] & to enjoy2 & ,i tru/ t ! joys & sorr[s ( ! pa/ ye> h n be5 exp]i5c$ )\t "s b5eficial result4 ,i h long ?\ght "o ( ! greate/ bless+s ( my life to be t s+ul> prep>ation :i* ea* ev5t has giv5 me = t :i* 0 to succe$ x2 & ,i nev] realiz$ ?is s fully z dur+ my late w&]+s4 ,habit _h giv5 me ! p[] ( su/a9+ easily & *e]fully circum/ances :i*1 to "o less exp]i5c$1 w\ld h br\ght labor & sorr[2 ?us enabl+ me to pursue ! "o great object = :i* we 7 /riv+1 unclogg$ 7if ,i may s say7 by any consid]ations = self1 & ?us less5+ my trials1 n only to myself1 b to ^? ar\nd me4 ,n[ t all is ov]1 ,i am consci\s t ! m5tal z well z ! physical ef=t has be5 great2 & ,i consid] ?is 'ly+ by' z advantage\s to my m9d z to my body4 ,i 0 beg9n+ wrong1 _h = "s "t felt t trifles 7 a burd5 to me2 & al?\gh by ! application ( /rong /imulants1 su* z ! joy ( gett+ home1 ,i c\ld keep alive my c\rage to act1 ,i am p]suad$ t x 0 some?+ ( ! excitem5t :i* frequ5tly prec$es entire failure1 r ?an any sub/antial good4 ,9 ! delightful quiet ( my own snug *amb]1 ,i h _h "t to look a little m into myself ?an ,i h be5 able to d = a long1 long "t4 ,! outw>d exig5cies ( ! mom5t _h s long occupi$ e faculty1 t x 0 n s+ul> t ,i _h become almo/ a /rang] to t void )91 :i* is to be kn[n only 9 ! 'secret sil5ce' ( tranquil ?\ght4 ,i h felt grateful = ?is repose2 &1 s f> f pity+ me = hav+ be5 arre/$ 9 ! pursuit ( my dome/ic duties1 j z ,i 0 s happily re/or$ to !m1 my fri5ds w\ld rejoice = me1 if !y knew h[ mu* ,i ne$$1 & h[ mu* ,i h enjoy$1 ?is re/4 ,don't ?9k me q ins5sible to ! tr\ble x has caus$ my fri5ds1 or ! loss x has be5 to my husb&'s com=t4 ,i am n2 b nei!r am ,i sure t 9 ! end bo? w n be ga9]s by x4 ,i h n be5 v sick1--n s sick z to require a susp5sion ( any ( ! daily op]ations ( ! h\sehold 9 my behalf4 ,i c\ld always h my *ildr5 ab\t me1 & except n[ & !n c\ld d v well )\t any aid out ( my family4 ,i ne$$ re/ & quiet m ?an any ?+2 & t did n int]f]e ) o!rs' pursuits4 ,emma has be5 ) me six weeks2 & enact$ ,mrs4 ,g]ry1 ,que5's je/]1 ,c]b]us1 & a '?orn 9 ! fle%1' z %e /yles h]self1 ) ! p]fection t belongs to su* an actress4 ,%e has be5 a real com=t & delight to u bo?2 = %e has ! faculty ( fitt+ 9 s exactly to ! circum/ances ( ! case1 t %e does m good ?an %e int5ds to d1 good z h] int5tions are4 ,b ,emma says1 ',hold6 en\gh6' ,i =get :i* ( h] *>act]s %e appe>s "u n[2 b ,i'll puni% h] by mak+ h] fill ?is page ) ! bullet9 ( heal? ( e man1 woman1 & *ild belong+ to ! e/abli%m5t1 :i* ,i 0 j go+ to give y myself4 ,,m>y4 ,9 ,febru>y1 we f9d ,mrs4 ,w>e /ill a prison] 9 t *amb] ( sickness2 ?\gh n exactly a prison]1 = we h he>d h] speak ( ! reluctance ) :i* %e left t long conf9em5t1 to return to ! gl>e & tumult ( ! _w4 ,& f ! mann] 9 :i* %e wrote to ,emma1 soon aft] %e _h left h]1 x w\ld seem t %e _h n expect$ to return at all4 ,inde$1 "s ( h] language indicates a s]i\s appreh5sion on h] "p1 ( :i* few 7 aw>e4 ,9 refus+ to let ,emma come aga9 m]ely to read to h]1 z %e _h propos$1 ,m>y says3 ,i all[ t x w\ld be an especial com=t to be read to sleep sometimes1 :5 my opium-f$ imag9ation is conjur+ up fancies t m> my re/ = t night2 & x w\ld be a great pleasure to h my ?\ghts a little m div]t$ f self ?an ,i c div]t !m unaid$4 ,if my disease 7 rapidly ga9+ gr\nd1 ! case w\ld be alt]$4 ,i "k too well ! luxury ( hav+ done '! la/' = a fri5d1 to deb> any "o f x4 ,b al?\gh ,i am aw>e t !re are _m probabilities 9 favor ( ! idea t ! disease nev] w be ov]come1 ,i see no reason to n\ri% ! feel+ :i* a /ate ( unc]ta9ty _c b create4 ,x may be t my days are to be few4 ,& if ! 'we>9' awa ( sn[-wrea?s 9 ! ?aw' is to be ! signal ( l decay 9 myself1 ,i %all surely ne$ y m ?an n[4 ,at all ev5ts1 ! spr+ mu/ be a season ( lassitude & bodily trial to me2 & if y w give me ! promis$ visit !n1 y w h no reason to be dissatisfi$ ) ! degree ( good y w d me4 ,two mon?s lat] ?an ?is1 ,mrs4 ,w>e wrote to ! same fri5d1 m at l5g?4 ,cambridge1 ,april #bj1 #ahca4 ,,de> ,,emma3-- ,i h wat*$ y f my work+-*air 'out ( sight1' z "s ( my ,dubl9 fri5ds w\ld say2 & n[ ,i h tak5 my desk into my lap = sundry purposes1 b ! fir/ t sugge/s itself is1 to comm5ce an omnium ga!rum = y4 ,i %all want to say five hundr$ ?+s at lea/ e day = a mon? to come2 & ,i don't "k :y ,i %\ld n indulge y ) "o ( ! five hundr$ daily4 ,:at "t s good to comm5ce1 z t 9 :i* my he>t is full ( twice t numb] ( feel+s ( gratitude & love t[>ds y8 ,b no1 ?is is n a good "t ei!r1 = !y come ru%+ =w>d ) su* a _s ( rivalry1 ea* wi%+ to be repres5t$ fir/1 t !y bl9d my eyes & make my p5 tremble2 s ,i w tea* !m :at a good discipl9>ian ,i am1 & make !m all keep sil5ce until !y h le>n$ bett] mann]s4 ,to-day ,i am z weak z possible1 b free f pa94 ,! tru? is1 t ,i am feel+1 j z ,i told y ,i %\ld1 ! trial ( weakness mu* m1 n[ t ,i c move ab\t1 ?an :5 ,i 0 %ut up4 ,:5 ,i knew x 0 my "p to give up try+ to d any ?+1 & turn my m9d to ! improvem5t :i* belong$ to su* a /ate ( ?+s1 ,i _h n a wi% to /ep ov] my ?re%old1 or an anxi\s ?\ght ab\t any ?+ beyond x4 ,x w\ld be "t en\gh :5 ,i c\ld g among p & ?+s1 ,i ?\ght1 & ,i w\ld enjoy ! luxury ( idl5ess to ! full4 ,i did2 b n[ ! case is *ang+4 ,i am able to use my bodily p[]s1 & feel t ,i ought to ex]t my m5tal en]gies also2 b my /r5g? fails me1 m5tal & bodily1 & ?is br+s to me a feel+ ( disc\ragem5t & dissatisfaction ) myself1 t ,i f9d x h>d to /ruggle aga9/ z ,i ought4 ,9 fact1 x c>ries me back to old ,m>y ,pick>d's spr+ feel+s ( no?+ness1 :i* ,i fight ) 9 va94 ,i fe> t ,i h be5 s long indulg$ 9 idl5ess1 t ,i h lo/ my en]gy ( m9d1 or become selfi%1 & a ?\s& o!r wrong ?+s :i* d sometimes creep ^u "o )\t leave4 ,y w tell me ?is is m]ely ! effect1 ! inevitable effect1 ( weakness1 z my husb& does4 ,i hope x is1 & t ,i %all rise 9 "t to my wi%$-= en]gy4 ,i 0 glad to f9d y _h made s good a beg9n+ ( y\r summ] life4 ,x is delightful to me to be able to ?9k ( y enjoy+ s mu*1 & do+ s mu*1 z ,i am sure y w4 ,i ?9k x 0 v well to /rike into ! plan at once4 ,may ,i ask y1 too1 to take "o half-h\r daily1 ) y\r door lock$1 = "s little s5t5ce & ! ?\ghts :i* w gr[ out ( x1 = ! cultivation ( t int]nal treasure :i* y value s mu*1 & 9 :i* y wi% to feel m vital1 excit+ int]e/8 ,i "k by my own exp]i5ce t we lose mu* ( :at we long to keep1 by an unackn[l$g$ b con/antly op]at+ contempt = small means1 h\rly att5tions to ! details ( spiritual discipl9e4 ,hav+ calmly1 ?or\ghly1 may ,i add1 pray]fully1 view$ "o ,*ri/ian virtue 9 ! day1 are we n almo/ secure ( act+ 9 con=mity to t "o1 = at lea/ tw5ty-f\r h\rs8 ,& if e day we ?us ga9 "o victory1 %all we n h reason to hope we may 9 "t be :olly conqu]ors8 ,b m ( ?is 9 our pretty book1 :i* w conta9 prea*+ en\gh = my %>e ( y\r e> ^u su* matt]s4 ,all s5d love1 ) t ( y\r ,m4 ,l4 ,,w>e4 ,9 ! spr+1 ,mrs4 ,w>e recov]$1 z to all app>5t disease2 b %e cont9u$ feeble ?r\gh ! summ]1 & suff]$ mu* f h] s5se ( ineffici5cy1 9 body & m9d1--lit]ally unable1 z %e says1 to write a lett]4 ,nor d we f9d any lett]s be=e ,octob]1 :5 %e wrote 9 full h] own impressions ( ?is important portion ( h] exp]i5ce1 ) an acc\nt ( its t]m9ation 9 ! al>m+ illness ( h] husb&1 to :om %e 0 summon$ at a di/ance4 ,8 heal? _h be5 con/antly improv+ ?r\gh ! w9t]1 & he _h p]=m$ all ! duties ( 8 (fice1 except prea*+1 :i* he _h v5tur$ ^u b once = ne>ly ?ree ye>s1 & !n only on acc\nt ( ! dea? ( ,mrs4 ,em]son1 ! wife ( 8 colleague & successor 9 ,bo/on4 ,9 ! summ] vacation ( ! pres5t ye>1 #ahca1 ,mr4 ,w>e made a p$e/rian t\r1 ) a fri5d1 to ! ,:ite ,hills2 &1 feel+ /rong en\gh1 engag$ to prea* on 8 return at ,concord1 ,n4 ,h4 ,b be=e he c\ld rea* t place1 he 0 pro/rat$ ) fev]1 & became sev]ely1 & he himself believ$ fatally ill4 ,"u ?is full conviction1 he made a great ef=t to write a few la/ words to 8 wife2 & did write a note1 :i* we wi% we 7 at lib]ty to use1 s mov+ z x is 9 itself & its circum/ances1 s *>act]i/ic ( him :o wrote x1 & s t\*+ & beautiful a tribute to h] :om he lov$1 & :om he ?\ght to see no m on e>?4 ,x ne$ n be told t ,mrs4 ,w>e w5t to h] husb& z soon z %e knew ( 8 sickness1 ?\gh %e _h n entirely rega9$ h] own /r5g?4 ,he _h be5 remov$ to ,concord1 :]e %e jo9$ him1 & /ay$ till !y c\ld come home toge!r4 ,%e seems n to h be5 surpris$ by ?is summons2 x be+ "o ( h] pr9ciples1 & a fix$ habit1 to anticipate all probable1 ev5 possible ev5ts1 z f> z %e c\ld1 & make !m famili> to h] ?\ghts2 n to sadd5 or weak51 b to /r5g!n & prep>e h] m9d = ! duties & em]g5cies to :i* %e might be call$4 ,if ! ev5ts did n occur1 no?+ 0 lo/4 ,if !y came1 ! %ock 0 less1 & !re 0 great] prep>ation & =titude to enc\nt] x4 ,?is is n ! common c\rse1 & w n comm5d itself to all4 ,n all w\ld be capable ( x2 & x may n be necess>y or desirable = all4 ,! common habit is ! v opposite1 & ! c\nsel usually giv51 f ! pulpit & 9 private1 is to anticipate no?+1--lea/ ( all1 to anticipate evil2 or1 z ! phrase is1 nev] to borr[ tr\ble4 ,?is is n ! place to discuss ! subject4 ,we wi% only to record our vivid impression ( ! delight & in/ruction ) :i* we h li/5$ to t unpret5d+ woman1 z %e argu$ ! matt] ) ^? :o diff]$ ) h]2 n ask+ !m to d z %e did1 or assum+ ! smalle/ m]it = ! habit1 b only %[+ !m h[ completely ! uni=m exp]i5ce ( a life ( trial _h satisfi$ h] t ?is c\rse 0 be/ = h]4 ,& all :o h se5 h] 9 trial & sickness w te/ify to ! reality & p[] ( ?is p]suasion4 ,! acc\nt1 to :i* we h already adv]t$1 ( _! exp]i5ces dur+ ?is fir/ ye> at ,cambridge1 ?r\gh h] own illness & t ( h] husb&1 is conta9$ 9 a lett] writt5 on ! ev5+ ( ! fir/ ,sabba? t ,mr4 ,w>e 0 able to prea* 9 ! ,college ,*apel1 :5 %e also 0 able to he> him4 ,cambridge1 ,octob] #b1 #ahca4 ,,my ,,de> ,,nancy3-- ,7 y ev] s weak z to omit do+ a ?+ :i* y /rongly desir$ to d1 entirely because y knew y c\ld n d x ?or\ghly to y\r own satisfaction8 ,if y h be51 y c bett] und]/& ?an ,i c describe ! _m fooli% feel+s :i* h1 f "t to "t1 & a hundr$ times1 made me ?r[ d[n my p5 & say to myself1 ',i _c write to h] n[2 ,i h n "t to say half ,i wi% to say1 or %e to he>4' ,x is j s n[2 ,i knew all ! "t x 0 wrong to d s1 & n[ ,i am det]m9$ to turn ov] a new leaf ) myself1 at ! comm5cem5t ( ?is new ye> ( my life2 & z y\r _s has haunt$ my consci5ce m ?an any o!r1 ,i beg9 by lay+ x ) ! spell ( my fairy p54 ,b :]e %all ,i beg98 ,i _c rememb] :]e ,i left (f1 or r d n "k :at y h he>d f o!rs s9ce ,i left y a ye> ago4 ,( my w9t]'s sickness ,i _c write2 x conta9$ a long life ( enjoym5t1 & :at ,i hop$ w\ld prove pr(itable ?\ght & reflection4 ,i came out ( my ne/ almo/ reluctantly1 = ,i _h a dread ( ! absorb+ p[] ( worldly c>es & int]e/s2 & = a long "t my head rema9$ s weak t ,i suff]$ f ! necessity ( giv+ my :ole m9d to ! trifl+ occupations ( daily life 9 ord] to p]=m !m ) tol]able dec5cy4 ,?is has be5 a bane to my com=t ?r\gh\t ! summ]2 & al?\gh ,i h _h ,h>riet ,hall & ,m>y ,w>e1 & _m ( ^? ,i rejoic$ to see1 aga9 ar\nd me1 ,i h n pr(it$ mu* by ! privilege1 my m9d hav+ all its capacity m ?an employ$ by ! c>e ( our bodies4 ,?is 0 v humiliat+ = "o to :om all ! outw>d c>es ( life h be5 m]e play-"w2 b ,i c\ld contrive to keep ext]nally quiet1 & n appe> fidgety2 s ,i try to ?9k ?is 0 conque/ en\gh = me 9 my !n /ate ( weakness4 ,! heat pro/rat$ me v mu*4 ,i began to fe> ,i %\ld nev] be able to d any two ?+s at once aga94 ,b s9ce my family has return$ to its usual size1 & ! cool days ( autumn h s5t _! invigorat+ influ5ces to my bodily p[]s1 my m9d improves 'a little1 n mu*' 7z my ,rob says fifty times a day74 ,lit]ally1 ,i c\ld n write a lett] ?r\gh ! :ole summ]2 & n[ ! task is s novel a "o1 t ,i _c expect to be coh]5t1 ?is be+ my fir/4 ,9 ?is /ate ( ?+s1 my husb& left me = a walk to ! ,:ite ,hills4 ,i felt sure t1 if pursu$ ) due discretion1 x w\ld d him good4 ,he 0 pretty well1 b want$ some?+ to give him a spr+ be=e beg9n+ to prea*4 ,i _h n ! lea/ objection to 8 go+1 b hav+ wat*$ him s long1 s incessantly1 ,i felt v mu* z a "m does ! fir/ night %e weans h] infant f h]4 ,9 pursuance ( my long-e/abli%$ habit1 ,i set myself ! task ( prep>+ = any accid5t :i* might befall him1 & ,i believe look$ at all ! possibilities ( ! case2 s t :5 ! summons actually came = me to att5d him at ,concord1 :]e he 0 ill ( a fev]1 x did n take me by surprise4 ,i 01 z x 71 prep>$ = x1 & c\ld receive x calmly & act coolly4 ,9 two h\rs ,i 0 on my way to him1 confid5t 9 my own /r5g?1 = no c>e ( him pres5t c\ld be ! weight on my m9d :i* ! ?\ght ( him abs5t _h be52 & ! bodily ex]tion 0 n z great z ,i _h be5 = "s "t mak+1 hav+ be5 ne>ly all summ] )\t my quantum ( help4 ,i f\nd him v sick1 b surr\nd$ by k9dness4 ,he soon began to m5d1 & we jogg$ homew>ds4 ,h>riet _h be5 ) me1 s t ,i c\ld leave my *ildr5 )\t any anxiety2 & ! j\rney1 & ! happ9ess :i* accompani$ x1 did me good4 ,i h be5 ga9+ ev] s9ce1 & ,mr4 ,w>e too4 ,i am n[ s well1 t ,i c walk an h\r be=e breakfa/1 & into ,bo/on ) ease2 & to-day ,i h _h ! unspeakable joy ( he>+ my husb& p]=m all ! s]vices ( ! pulpit4 ,?is is a po9t t ,i h s (t5 ?\ght ( z ! "o bless+ :i* ,i d>$ n hope =1 & h believ$ t1 if x c\ld be grant$1 ,i %\ld h no?+ m to ask =1 t ,i h>dly "k h[ ,i feel1 n[ t x is actually grant$4 ,"o ?+ m1 h[ev]1 ,i mu/ ask1--t ,i may be truly grateful = x4 ,y\rs z ev]4 ,m4 ,l4 ,w4 ,happy 0 x = ,mrs4 ,w>e if %e c\ld be always prep>$ = *ange & trial4 ,= :ile h] life 0 a favor$ "o1 & s reg>d$ by h]1 few enjoy+ m 9 any condition1 %e 0 equally alive to all suff]+1 & seldom knew a long exemption4 ,s f>1 h[ev]1 %e _h be5 sp>$ all trial 9 reg>d to h] *ildr54 ,n t !y _h be5 free f sickness1 or _h caus$ no solicitude1 = !re _h be5 mu* ( bo?2 b _! lives _h be5 cont9u$1 & at ?is "t %e 0 rejoic+ 9 _! heal?4 ,?ree ( !m %e _h j tak5 to ,milton1 to enjoy a week ) !m at ,bru% ,hill1 :]e %e _h sp5t s mu* ( h] e>ly life1 b :]e %e _h n be5 at all s9ce h] *ildr5 7 born4 ,pleasantly does %e contra/ h] pres5t ) h] =m] enjoym5t !re4 ,writ+ to h] husb& f ?is place1 %e says3--,i am enjoy+ myself mu*1 b f9d ,i 0 q mi/ak5 9 ?9k+ ,i c\ld turn into ,m>y ,pick>d aga9 by ! p[] ( association4 ,i d v well "u t "* ?r\gh ! day1 b ) nightfall ! remembrance ( home comes ov] me2 ! idea ( ! husb& & *ild ,i h left !re1 & ! ?ree *ick5s :o are asleep up /airs1 rises be=e my m9d's eye1 z s _m m bless+s ?an poor ,polly c\ld boa/1 t ,i resign my pret5sions ) a v grateful he>t4 ,i am sorry1 de> ,h5ry1 t y c\ld n be a little long] ) me "h1 7among o!r v dis9t]e/$ reasons17 t ,i might read y sundry *apt]s 9 ! life ( t int]e/+ p]sonage j nam$1--*apt]s :i* are writt5 ab\t ^u ^! trees & /one walls1 & :i* no o!r place c\ld recall4 ,x is v delightful = me to live ov] ^? days aga91 & ,i am sure my m9d w be refre%$ by ?is visit1 if my body is n4 ,z to ?is latt] conc]n1 x does z well z ,i c\ld expect4 ,?is visit 0 made j be=e h] summons to ,mr4 ,w>e's b$side at ,concord4 ,aft] _! return to ,cambridge1 !y took possession ( a new h\se j built = !m2 & "o ( ! fir/ ev5ts t occurr$ 9 t h\se 0 ! dea? ( ,mrs4 ,w>e's fir/-born1 ,rob]t1 !n ?ree & a half ye>s ( age4 ,x 0 a sore trial1 & well d we rememb] ! _s 9 :i* x 0 met2 = x 0 our privilege to be /ay+ ) !m at ! "t1 & to be pres5t at ! p>t+4 ,! little suff]] _h ende>$ himself to u all by 8 pati5ce & sweetness ( disposition4 ,sep>at$ f 8 p>5ts 9 e>ly infancy1 & rema9+ ap>t until he 0 two ye>s old1 !y _h tak5 him back1 :5 !y return$1 z a fre% gift f ,god2 & ?\gh ano!r _h be5 grant$ !m1 !re 0 a peculi> feel+ connect$ ) him1 :i* e p>5t w und]/&4 ,mov+ly n[ does ! sc5e return to u1 ( ! "m sitt+ sil5tly & rev]5tly at ! side ( h] expir+ boy2 & :5 ! g5tle brea?+ :olly ceas$1 ask+--/ill sil5tly--! husb& & fa!r1 :o knelt by h]1 to pray4 ,fa9tly1 tremul\sly1 m & m di/9ctly1 & !n mo/ f]v5tly1 did t voice ( submission & supplication fall ^u our e>s1 & fill our eyes1 & lift ! he>t into a region :i* dea? nev] ent]s6 ,z ! voice ceas$1 ! "m fa9t$2 b soon %e rose1 /rong] r ?an weak]1 & ready = e duty4 ,9 ref]r+ to ?is b]eavem5t aft]w>d1 %e says1 9 ! ?\ght ( h] husb&'s con/ant dang]3 ,hav+ _h s long ! greate/ possible trial hang+ ov] my head1 e ?+ else seems comp>atively easy to be>2 & ,i sometimes d\bt1 :e!r any ?+ b t "o w ev] wean me f ! _w1 z ,i ?9k a ,*ri/ian %\ld be4 ,h[ mu* %e felt1 & h[ mu* %e tru/$1 may be se5 9 h] fir/ lett] aft] ?is trial4 ,cambridge1 ,decemb] #ca1 #ahca4 ,,my ,,de> ,,fri5d3-- ,aga9 does ?is anniv]s>y f9d u inhabitants ( ?is _w1 & aga91 z usual1 does x pres5t 9 my lot some?+ ( solemn & int]e/+ import1 ^u :i* we may dwell ) pr(it = a "t4 ,x is a privileg$ h\r1 & ,i %all use x z ,i h be5 wont to d1 9 ! full indulg5ce ( selfi% egotism1 tru/+ t "s good may result to u bo? f x4 ,:at does ! retrospect ( ! ye> pres5t to me8 ,my husb& & myself h be5 aga9 rais$ f ! b$ ( sickness & ?reat5$ dea?1 & ,i h be5 call$ ^u to re/ore to ,him :o gave "o ( ! de>e/ treasures :i* ,8 provid5ce _h be/[$ ^u me4 ,^! are great ev5ts = "o %ort ye>1 design$ to produce great effects1 involv+ great responsibility1 be/[+ great privileges4 ,my own sickness br\ght ) x _m pleasures1 _m pure & elevat+ views & feel+s2 & al?\gh x did n br+ me to t *e]ful will+ness to resign my life aft] :i* ,i /rove & hop$ to atta91 x !reby ?rew light ^u ! weakness ( my religi\s "*1 calculat$ to subdue presumptu\s self-dep5d5ce1 & tea* a lesson ( humility :i* may p]haps be ( m importance & advantage to my gr[? 9 hol9ess4 ,my husb&'s dang] r5ew$ ! s (t repeat$ te/imony t /r5g? is ev] at h& = ^? :o ne$ x1 gave me ano!r ex]cise ( tru/ 9 t mighty arm :i* c save to ! utt]mo/1 & 9 its result is a new cause = gratitude to ,him :o has s abundantly bless$ me all ! days ( my life4 ,& n[ has come ?is new trial ( my fai?1 ?is new te/ ( its reality1 t !re may be no hid+-place left = me1 no light want+ by :i* to se>* into ! hidd5 recesses ( ! _s to 'see if !re be any wick$ way 9 x4' ,& :atev] may be ! result ( ?is /rict scrut9y1 am ,i n to be ?ankful = x8 ,am ,i n to feel t x is inde$ ! k9de/ love t subjects me to x8 ,we feel x a privilege t a *ild %\ld h e>?ly p>5ts to guide1 c\nsel1 & correct x2 & %all we n be grateful to t ,heav5ly ,p>5t :o does ! same 9 a f> bett] mann]8 ,i w\ld ?ank ,god t he has by 8 pa/ disp5sations taught me ! duty & happ9ess ( submission1 s t ,i c b[ to ! rod1 & desire only to see h[ its *a/isem5t is to be us$ & improv$4 ,i h always look$ ^u ! dea? ( *ildr5 r z a subject = joy ?an sorr[1 & h be5 p]plex$ at see+ s _m1 :o w\ld be> :at seem$ to me mu* h>d] trials ) firmness1 s completely ov]:elm$ by ?is1 z is frequ5tly ! case4 ,b ,i "k t ^u any po9t 9 :i* we h _h no p]sonal exp]i5ce we _c =m a correct judgm5t1 & !re=e ,i h nev] _h any def9ite anticipations ( its effect ^u myself4 ,i am ?ankful to f9d t ! g5]al views ^u :i* my =m] op9ions h be5 f\nd$ are n obscur$ by ! flood ( new emotions :i* actual exp]i5ce br+s4 ,i c resign my *ild into ! h&s ( its ,mak]1 ) z /rong a belief z ,i ev] _h1 t x is a bless+ to itself to be remov$1 'untask$1 untri$1' f a _w 9 :i* ! result ( labor & trial is s d\btful4 ,x is a bless+ to be tak5 f ! c>e ( ignorant1 p[]less human tea*]s1 to ! guidance ( high] & holi] & p]fect in/ructors2 s t its pure _s w n n[ be sulli$ by ! pollutions ( ?is degrad$ _w1 b g on f glory to glory until x has atta9$ ! full measure ( ! /ature ( a *ild ( ,god4 ,y "k too well :at are ! hopes & enjoym5ts belong+ to ! relation ( p>5t & *ild1 to require to be told h[ h>d x is to lay !m all aside2 & !re 0 some?+ 9 ! peculi> circum/ances ( ! bir? & life ( ?is *ild1 :i* c\ld n b give a peculi> "* to our connection ) him4 ,& s he has pass$ f u2 b :at a com=t to "k t we h n lo/ him6 ,we _h a visit f ,dr4 ,*ann+ ye/]day1 9 :i* he spoke s glori\sly ( ! honor ( hav+ giv5 a *ild to heav51 z to elevate me f> above common consid]ations4 ,b en\gh2 ?9k ( u /ill z happy4 ,m4 ,l4 ,,w>e4 ,"o ( ! traits ( ,mrs4 ,w>e's "*--n nam$ = its s+ul>ity or di/9ction1 b simply z a fact1 notic$ by all :o knew h]--0 ! am\nt ( "t & /r5g? :i* %e devot$ to h] *ildr54 ,) all ! sicknesses1 :i* f ?is p]iod came almo/ con/antly ei!r to h] or h] husb&1 & :i* are apt to make su* sad inroads ^u our quiet & fai?ful int]c\rse ) our *ildr51--amid all h] dome/ic c>es1 ( :i* %e took z l>ge a %>e1 9 e dep>tm5t1 z p]haps any woman ev] did 9 a simil> position1 feel+ & see+1 all ! "t1 ! pa9ful ne$ ( a rigid economy1 9 ! mid/ ( nev]-ceas+ & nev]-limit$ hospitality1--h] ?\ghtfulness & c>e = ea* *ild1 9 reg>d to ! body1 ! m9d1 & ! s\l1 seem$ lit]ally un9t]rupt$4 ,& ?is c>e ( h] *ildr5 rea*$ !m 9 _! abs5ce z well z _! pres5ce4 ,9 ! summ] aft] ,rob]t's dea?1 ! olde/ son1 ,john1 0 plac$ at s*ool 9 ,fram+ham1 :]e he rema9$ sev]al ye>s2 & seldom did he fail to receive1 n only fai?ful lett]s1 b a j\rnal ( daily do+s1 f 8 "m's p51 ?\gh %e long rema9$ feeble1 & 0 n[ ! "m ( ano!r infant1 :i* %e 0 compell$ to put out to nurse4 ,ano!r t]m ( sev]e illness ensu$1 caus+ a lam5ess ( long duration4 ,b z soon z possible1 inde$ all along1 %e 0 do+ some?+ = ! abs5t son4 ,:5 y left home1 my de> ,john1 %e writes 9 ,july1 #ahcb1 ,i ?\ght ,i %\ld soon be well en\gh to write y1 & int5d$ to keep a j\rnal = y ( :at w5t on among/ u1 to be s5t to y e =tnight2 b n[ y h be5 gone two mon?s1 & ,i h n be5 able to write to y once1 s little c we calculate ^u ! future4 ,i h be5 oblig$ to keep my b$ a great "p ( ! "t1 & am n yet able to walk across ! room )\t mu* pa94 ,i h n be5 d[n /airs1 except+ twice1 :5 ,i 0 c>ri$ 9 arms to ! front door1 & rode ab\t t5 m9utes1 :i* hurt me s mu* t ,i %all n try x aga9 v soon4 ,i tell y all ?is1 t y may und]/& h[ impossible x has be5 = me to fulfil my promise to y4 ,i h ?\ght mu* ( y1 & rejoic$ to he> s (t5 f y t y 7 happy & improv+4 ,:5 ,i h felt t ,i %\ld nev] get well1 & p]haps nev] see y aga9 9 ?is _w1 ,i h be5 v anxi\s ab\t y1 & h pray$ mo/ f]v5tly t ,god w\ld guide y 9 ! "r pa?1 & hop$ t y w\ld live to be a com=t to y\r fa!r :5 ,i 0 gone4444 ,?is is a busy week ) u2 ye/]day be+ ,exhibition1 to-day ,val$ictory1 to-morr[ ! ,!ological ,exhibition 9 ! morn+ & a public meet+ ( ! ,philan?ropic ,society 9 ! aft]noon4 ,we %all h an op5 h\se1 & hope to h z _m fri5ds ) u z we _h la/ ye>4 ,an op5 h\se1 fill$ ) fri5ds1 all welcom$ & 9 "s way ent]ta9$ by ! lady ( ! h\se1 :o is n able to walk across ! room )\t pa96 ,we d\bt n !re are hundr$s ( su* cases1 "s x may be1 m try+ & m rem>kable2 b x does n alt] ! fact1 nor make x less wor?y ( notice 9 a woman :o did all t ,mrs4 ,w>e did4 ,x 0 a feature ( ,mrs4 ,w>e's dome/ic "*1 t ! ?rong ( c>es & conflict ( duties seldom worri$ h]4 ,_m are !y :o are z dilig5t & fai?ful1 b yet live 9 a p]petual hurry & fret4 ,%e knew ! dang]1 & br\ght all h] p[] & pr9ciple to )/& x1 ev5 9 ! smalle/ matt]s4 ,(t5 h we he>d h] lam5t+ ! necessity ( sp5d+ s mu* ( life 9 m]e drudg]y1 m9i/]+ to ! p]i%+ b nev]-satisfi$ body2 a necessity & s]vice t devolve ^u _m wom51 & take f !m ! opportunity ( high m5tal & spiritual culture1 unless !y c>ry into ^! daily duties & petty c>es a calm _s & a *e]ful tone1 ) an elevat$ & /eadfa/ purpose4 ,su* 0 ,m>y's habitual endeavor4 ,! difficulty1 & ! frequ5t failure1 none 7 m ready to own4 ,%e nev] satisfi$ h]self1 b %e nev] flagg$4 ,%e nev] worri$4 ,sudd5 int]ruptions1 cul9>y disappo9tm5ts1 %oals ( visitors ) little ( prep>ation1 7 n all[$ to *ill h] welcome or cl\d _! enjoym5t4 ,!re 7 no apologies at t table4 ,if unexpect$ gue/s 7 n always fill$1 !y 7 nev] annoy$1 nor suff]$ to ?9k mu* ab\t x4 ,a cl]gyman1 :o visit$ ! h\se (t5 z a /ud5t1 says ( ,mrs4 ,w>e3 ,i rememb] ! wond] ,i felt at h] humility & dignity 9 welcom+ to h] table on "s occasion a troop ( accid5tal gue/s1 :5 %e _h almo/ no?+ to (f] b h] hospitality4 ,! abs5ce ( all apologies & ( all mortification1 ! ease & *e]fulness ( ! conv]sation1 :i* became ! only fea/1 gave me a lesson nev] =gott51 al?\gh nev] le>n$4 ,are ^! little ?+s8 ,!y fill a l>ge place 9 life1 & h mu* to d ) its solid com=t4 ,!y affect ! temp]1 !y ent] into ! "*1 & may help or h9d] our be/ p[] & improvem5t4 ,we introduce !m "h because !y are little4 ,!re 0 n mu* 9 ! life we are p5n+ t 0 n little 9 "s comp>isons4 ,x is ! life ( a pla91 retir+1 dome/ic woman4 ,x is an example n beyond ! rea* ( any :o desire to rea* x4 ,we wi% to %[ x j z x 02 & to %[1 t ( no?+ 0 x m cle>ly ! result1 9 no?+ does its value m cle>ly consi/1 ?an 9 ! p[] ( ,*ri/ian fai? & simple goodness4 ,we h sometimes ?\ght x w\ld be well if all p>i%ion]s1 ^? especially :o are quick to disc]n ! fail+s & sl[ to und]/& ! labors ( _! pa/or1 c\ld sp5d a few weeks 9 8 h\se1 & get "s idea ( ! v>iety1 complexity1 ardu\sness1 & endlessness ( 8 duties4 ,b f ! picture :i* ,mrs4 ,w>e gives ( ! life at ,cambridge1 we %\ld inf] t ! engagem5ts & int]ruptions ( mo/ p>i%es 7 light 9 ! comp>ison4 ,i us$ to ?9k ,bo/on life a v busy & irregul> "o2 b our life "h is f> m s4 ,!re1 !re 7 "s h\rs 9 ! day 9 :i*1 f conv5tional cu/om1 "o 0 secure ( be+ quiet4 ,b "h1 nei!r e>ly h\rs nor late1 nei!r ra9 nor tempe/1 are any security aga9/ int]ruption2 & (t51 v (t51 does a :ole day pass )\t ei!r my husb& or myself hav+ "o mom5t = our own occupations1 or ev5 a *ance to ex*ange a s+le s5t5ce ( recognition4 ,i d n compla9 ( ?is1 = x is inevitable4 ,i mu/ believe x is our appo9t$ duty4 ,b x seems sometimes a mo/ unpr(itable mode ( pass+ away life2 at lea/ x is v difficult to make progress 9 ! ?+s "o mo/ desires1 :5 our "t & our ?\ghts are s little at our own disposal4 ,/ill1 amid all ^! calls & c>es1 ! j\rnal cont9ues1 & full %eets ( companion-l n>ration or mat]nal c\nsel g to ! s*oolboy at ,fram+ham1 :o is hav+ "s ( ! trials ( s*ool-life1 petty1 b s]i\s4 ,de> ,john1 x is "t y _h ano!r lett]1 & ,i am v glad to be able to write y "o2 x is ! next be/ ?+ to sitt+ d[n by y & hav+ a good *at4 ,i %\ld v mu* l to look 9 ^u y1 & "k exactly h[ y get along4 ,i hope y w cont9ue to be> any provocation y may receive ) p]fect quietness & =be>ance4 ,su* conduct z y describe is n wor?y ( notice2 & if y p]sev]e 9 do+ "r1 & %[ no arrogance or pride ab\t x1 y w ga9 _! respect 9 "t1 t is1 ( all :o are wor? ga9+4 ,i am v glad y h ,mr4 ,abbot's book 7,! ,"y ,*ri/ian74 ,i ?\ght ( y :5 ,i 0 read+ x1 & felt z if x w\ld be v useful to y4 ,y w f9d mu* 9 x :i* y nev] ?\ght (1 & mu* ( :i* y w see a c\nt]p>t )9 y\rself1 if y exam9e y\rself fai?fully4 ,x seem$ to me1 :ile read+ x1 t ,i 0 look+ into a glass :i* reflect$ myself2 = ,i h liv$ long en\gh to "k m ab\t myself ?an ,i us$ to at y\r age1 & ,i (t5 wi% t ,i _h _h su* look+-glasses !n2 ,i %\ld1 ,i ?9k1 h be5 sav$ _m a feel+ ( self-reproa*1 & _m a fooli% & s9ful action4 ,y c h>dly imag9e n[ h[ great a bless+ y possess 9 ! wat*ful c>e :i* is ext5d$ ov] y by y\r de> fa!r2 may x nev] be )drawn f y until y h le>n$ to guide y\rself by ! high & holy pr9ciples ( ,*ri/ian virtue6 ,x %[s ,mr4 ,w>e's appreh5sions 9 reg>d to 8 wife's heal? z well z 8 own1 t1 9 a lett] to ! same son1 he writes3 ,i f9d t y\r two p>5ts are 9 v frail heal?1 & probably de/9$ to a %ort life4 ,y w p]haps1 !re=e1 be left at an e>ly age to take c>e ( y\rself4 ,we le>n /ill m ( _! m5tal & social life at ?is p]iod f two lett]s :i* ,mrs4 ,w>e wrote at ! end ( ! ye>s #ahcb & #ahcc2 !re hav+ be5 little v>iety betwe51 except a j\rney s\? z f> z ,alex&ria1 :i* !y took toge!r1 = recreation & heal?1 e>ly 9 #ahcc1 ) a few lat] incid5ts ref]r$ to 9 ! lett]s4 ,cambridge1 ,decemb] #ca1 #ahcb4 ,,de> ,n----3 ,f---- prophesi$1 t5 ye>s ago1 t fri5d%ip betwe5 m>ri$ wom5 c\ld n be ( long cont9uance4 ,he did n "k t !re is 9 woman's nature some?+ :i* woman only c fully und]/&2 or 8 k ( human nature 9 g5]al w\ld h %[n him t ! love ( sympa?y w triumph ov] _m an ob/acle1 :i* w\ld be a p]fect b>ri] to a less p[]ful motive4 ,:o b a woman1 & "o too :o kn[s ! exact m\ld 9 :i* "o's s\l is fa%ion$1 w\ld und]/& :at x has be5 to me to /& on ! v]ge ( ! grave1 9 full possession ( ! :ole intellectual be+1 & prep>e myself to leave su* an assemblage ( bless+s z h fall5 to my lot1--husb&1 *ildr51 fri5ds1 & ! delightful duties :i* accompany ^! relations1--& !n to be re/or$ to !m all1 ) an add$ gift6 ,& all )\t "o drawback1 b my own want ( s5sibility1 to make ! bless+ z great z x w\ld be ) a m s5sitive he>t4 ,p]haps no "o c fully compreh5d x :o has n be5 plac$ 9 exactly ! same situation4 ,b y c come ne>] to x ?an any "o else1 & y w n wond] t ! pa/ %\ld seem to me "o ( ! mo/ valuable ye>s ( my life4 ,i h (t5 wi%$ = j ?is exp]i5ce1 :5 ,i h felt h[ ineffectual 7 ! monitors ( ,provid5ce 9 awak5+ t deep s5se ( ,god's goodness1 & t cle> conviction ( ! reality ( a future /ate1 :i* are s important to ! ,*ri/ian life4 ,i h almo/ envi$ ^? :o 7 p]mitt$ to approa* s ne>ly to ! gates ( dea? z to give up all expectation ( a prolong$ life4 ,x has seem$ z if ?is appeal mu/ be irresi/ible2 z if !re c\ld be no m deadness1 or apa?y1 or indiff]5ce1 aft] ?is4 ,"o c\ld n come back to ! _w & be absorb$ z be=e 9 its %ort-liv$ pursuits4 ,b va9 is ! hope1 ,i beg9 to fe>1 ( our be+ rais$ by any ?+ s mu* above ! _w1 z n to be subject to ! p[] ( ! tempt] :ile we live 9 x4 ,! physical weakness :i* enables u to realize ! unc]ta9 t5ure by :i* we are connect$ ) ?is _w is gradually *ang$ into /r5g?1 & ! p[] to act br+s ) x ! desire2--& :o %all easily set b\nds to ?is desire8 ,x is ! all-consum+ mon/] t cries1 ',give6 give6' until we d give x e day1 e h\r1 e ?\ght1--until ! pres5t alone occupies u1 &1 alas6 satisfies u too4 ,is ?is exagg]ation1 m]ely a d>k picture drawn f my own sad exp]i5ce8 ,i hope x is4 ,b ,i am go+ too f>1 fill+ all my pap] ) croak+1 :5 ,i h s pleasant a picture ( my 'out] man' to pres5t to y4 ,we are all well2 t is1 well en\gh to be free f anxiety on ! subject2--nei!r ,h5ry nor ,i good = mu* beyond a v n>r[ sph]e1 b free f disease4 ,i keep v quietly at home4 ,inde$1 ,i _c d o!rwise2 a ride into ,bo/on tires me s mu*1 t ,i am n fit = any ?+ = a day aft]2 a walk does ! same4 ,s ,i am fa9 to cont5t myself ) my home com=ts2 & to ?is end ,i h conv]t$ my *amb] into a /udy1 :]e ,h5ry writes1 ,i "w1 & ,nanny plays all ! livelong day4 ,x is m l ,%eafe ,/reet com=t ?an any ?+ we h _h s9ce4 ,my husb&'s social habits1 & ! fact ( our hav+ liv$ s mu* toge!r = ! la/ ?ree ye>s1 make x p>ticul>ly pleasant to him to be sav$ ! tr\ble ( go+ 9 se>* ( me :5ev] he wants to read a s5t5ce or say a ^w2 & = ! same reasons1 x is v pleasant to me to h s mu* ( 8 pres5ce )\t feel+ t he is tak5 (f f 8 rightful pursuits by x4 ,janu>y #a1 #ahcc6 ,a happy new ye> to y all6 ,y\rs truly4 ,m4 ,l4 ,w4 99 99 99 99 99 ,cambridge1 ,decemb] #ca1 #ahcc4 ,,my ,,de> ,n----3 ,i am incl9$ to ?9k t x is our inord9ate e/imate ( ! happ9ess ( ?is life1 & our vague1 half-sceptical notions ( a future /ate1 t make u grieve s mu* :5 su* spirits z ,elizabe? ,b---- are )drawn f u4 ,i don't "k1 b ,i sometimes greatly fe> t we d n br+ home ! reality ( ! future z we %\ld d2 we are s occupi$ ) our !ories ( "r pr9ciples ( action & correct ideas ( moral conduct 9 ?is life 7all v good 9 _! place71 & s afraid ( fall+ into ! extravagant ex]cise ( ! imag9ation1 :i* has betray$ s _m ( our oppon5ts 9 doctr9e into en?usiasm & folly1 t we lose sight ( ! good influ5ces :i* su* contemplations might h ^u our he>ts4 ,?is ye> has be5 to me "o ( less v>iety ?an any ( ! la/ six4 ,my husb&'s long sickness 9 ! spr+1 & ! ef=ts consequ5t ^u x1 7 ! s\rce ( mu* anxiety1 & 9 "s po9ts a new exp]i5ce4 ,b ,i h _h = s long a "t only to be> & submit1 t my m9d has settl$ itself into t attitude1 & x is no long] an ef=t4 ,x is q ano!r ?+1 :5 x becomes my duty to ex]cise my en]gies 9 positive acts1--:5 o!rs are look+ to me = guidance1 :5 my habitual influ5ce is to =m ! "* ( ?is *ild & *eck ! wayw>dness ( t1 ) all ! tra9 ( active duties :i* devolve ^u a m>ri$ woman1--!n ,i am ov]p[]$ & p[]less4 ,i wi%$ y _h be5 by my side on ,sunday1 :ile ,i sat 9 my old corn] 9 ,f$]al ,/reet meet+-h\se1 li/5+ to t voice :i* is to u bo? associat$ ) "s ( our be/ religi\s impressions4 ,i w5t to he> ,dr4 ,*ann+1 = ! second "t only s9ce ,i return$ home1 z mu* = ! sake ( recall+ old associations z f any expectation ( new influ5ces2 = x does me good n[ & !n to g back to :at ,i 01 ! bett] to und]/& :at ,i am4 ,if he _h kn[n j :at ,i 0 suff]+1 he c\ld n h adapt$ himself m entirely to my case4 ,he 0 ^u "s ( ! ob/acles :i* may prev5t our use ( ! pres5t mom5t = improvem5t2 & he enl>g$ ^u ! t5d5cy to re/ satisfi$ ) pa/ atta9m5ts4 ,because we _h at "o p]iod ( our lives be5 deeply mov$ & /rongly influ5c$ by religi\s motives1--_h p]=m$ "s great acts ( b5evol5ce1 or su/a9$ ourselves "u great trial ) =titude & submission1--we delud$ ourselves ) ! idea1 t we _h atta9$ a height f :i* we c\ld n fall4 ,b no mi/ake c\ld be m ru9\s4 ,! pa/ 0 no?+1 except z x influ5c$ ! pres5t4 ,we tru/ too mu* to future improvem5t1 to a vague notion ( gradual progress1--we "k n exactly h[1 or by :at means4 ,b z we are n consci\s ( becom+ worse1 we ?9k we mu/ be gr[+ bett]1 & %all by & by be all t we ought to be4 ,or we hope = m favorable circum/ances to influ5ce u1 & expect to be1 we "k n :y1 9 a m fit /ate at "s o!r "t = our religi\s duties4 ,_h ,i room1 ,i c\ld give y a long /ory ab\t ?is1 = my m9d is full ( x4 ,b ,i h ano!r ^w to say ^u ! fact ( our giv+ s mu* "t to ! m]e outside ( life1 to ! employm5t ( our f+]s1 ! m]e me*anical employm5ts p]ta9+ to ! body4 ,x is a "q ) me1 :e!r x is n a duty to be satisfi$ ) a less elegant1 & ev5 a less com=table /yle ( life1 r ?an take s mu* f ! cultivation ( ! intellectual & spiritual1 :51 z is s (t5 ! case n[-a-days1 we mu/ ei!r d ! drudg]y ourselves or leave x undone4 ,i don't "k1--,i am puzzl$4 ,i "k t if we are do+ our duty1 h[ev] mean may be our employm5t1 we are fulfill+ our de/9y1 & do+ ,god ! be/ s]vice4 ,b ! "q is1 ,:at is our duty8 ,& are we n 9 dang] ( mi/ak+ ! real nature ( duty1 f too great a love ( ?is _w & ! ?+s ( x8 ,?is is "o ( ! difficult que/ions1 :i* my husb& & ,i try to settle4 ,i wi% y w\ld tell me :at y ?9k4 ,& "h comes my ,willie1 ) an implor+ look to be tak5 up1--a reprov+ "o1 too1 t 9 all ?is long lett] nei!r he nor 8 family are s mu* z notic$4 ,all are well4 ,y\rs ev]4 ,m4 ,l4 ,,w>e4 ,unusual fre$om f sickness & appreh5sion 0 = a "t enjoy$4 ,mrs4 ,w>e 0 full ( happ9ess & ?ankfulness4 ,x seems to me t nev] _h p s mu* reason = gratitude z we2 & ,i ?9k ,i nev] felt ?is m ?an at ?is "t1 = ,i too am beg9n+ to h ! fir/ feel+s ( heal? :i* ,i h kn[n = a ye> & a half4 ,b a *ange came4 ,& ) ! lett] :i* expla9s x we close ?is portion ( ! ,cambridge life4 ,cambridge1 ,may #d1 #ahcd4 ,,my ,,de> ,n----3 444 ,we h _h our usual v>iety ( sickness & heal? s9ce ,i wrote to y 9 ,janu>y4 ,soon aft] t1 ,i _h a visit f my old1 & ,i ?\ght conqu]$1 enemy1 ! cramp2 n a v sev]e attack1 b suffici5t to make me v good = no?+ = a week1 9 ! c\rse ( :i* ,nanny _h a v sev]e fall1 :i* = tw5ty-f\r h\rs made u appreh5sive t we %\ld h to "p ) h]4 ,b ?is trial 0 sp>$ u1 9 mu* m]cy2 = two days aft] ?is1 ,elizabe? 0 v sick1 ?\gh n dang]\sly4 ,all ?is _h its effect ^u ,mr4 ,w>e & myself1 & we h be5 ! great] "p ( ! "t 9 ! mo/ disagreeable /ate ( betwixity1 nei!r sick en\gh to be excus$ f labor1 nor well en\gh to d any ?+ pr(itable1--j good = no?+4 ,9 ! vacation 9 ,april1 ,mr4 ,w>e w5t to ,portsm\? to collect mat]ials = 8 ,memoir ( ,dr4 ,p>k]1 int5d+ by ! way to g to ,exet]4 ,! day aft] he w5t1 my ,willie1 :o _h be5 ! v p]fection ( heal? & happ9ess all w9t]1 began to droop1 &1 not)/&+ pretty effici5t measures1 9 a few days became ! subject ( decid$ lung fev]2 n v sick1 b requir+ con/ant wat*+ & c>eful att5tion4 ,a week f ! day he 0 tak51 he _h a sev]e spasmodic attack1 f :i* we ?\ght he w\ld nev] revive2 & :51 aft] v>i\s measures1 he began to brea! aga91 we sat = f\r h\rs expect+ t e mom5t w\ld be 8 la/4 ,x 0 a season ( sev]e trial1 n a little increas$ by 8 fa!r's abs5ce1 & ! impossibility ( 8 rea*+ home until ?is sweet *ild mu/ be = ev] remov$ f 8 sight4 ,yet x 0 n = me to le>n !n1 = ! fir/ "t1 t ,he :o s5ds trial always gives /r5g? to be> x4 ,i knew x w\ld be s1 & 9 t fai? ,i re/$ 9 peace & tranquillity4 ,b ?is bl[1 too1 0 av]t$4 ,aft] a long /ruggle he reviv$1 & ,i realiz$1 :at ,i _h nev] kn[n be=e1 t ?is second bir?1 z x 71 ( a *ild is a f> m affect+ cause = gratitude & joy ?an ! fir/ gift ev] c be4 ,x 0 a great exp]i5ce 9 _m ways4 ,x help$ me to und]/& ! feel+ ( ^? :o 7 witnesses ( miracles m ?an any ?+ ,i ev] met )4 ,= all human means 7 at an end2 no?+ c\ld be done b to pray t ! ,almighty ,p[]1 to :om all ?+s 7 possible1 might yet int]pose to save4 ,& ! fact ( hav+ be5 c>ri$ ?r\gh su* a trial ) entire submission & calmness1--:at confid5ce does x n give 9 ! all-suffici5t p[] ( t religion :i* c alone succor "o 9 su* an h\r ( ne$6 ,! k9dness1 too1 :i* su* an occasion calls =? f ^? ar\nd u1 is n ! lea/ ( its bless+s4 ,x makes u view human k9d m ju/ly ?an we are sometimes incl9$ to d1 & s9ks = ev] "s ( ^? petty & contemptu\s feel+s :i* w sometimes rise t[>ds ^? ) :om we h b little sympa?y4 ,my husb& return$ aft] all ?is 0 ov]1 q sick2 b he did return )\t ! necessity ( my go+ to him1 & return$ to be ! bett] = be+ at home1 ga9+ e mom5t aft] he ent]$ 8 h\se4 ,all ?is 0 dur+ t bright1 w>m int]val 9 ,april1 :5 nature seem$ buoyant ) joy4 ,we _h j complet$ our summ] arrangem5ts1 & altoge!r x seem$ to me z if ,i _h begun exi/5ce anew4 ,al?\gh some:at exhau/$ by ! /ruggle1 ,i really am bett] ?an = mon?s pa/4 ,y\rs ev]4 ,m4 ,l4 ,,w>e4 ,,xi4 ,,life ,,9 ,,cambridge4 7,,cont9u$47 ,x is ! mis=tune ( ^? :o are (t5 sick to be blam$ = _! sicknesses 9 proportion z !y are active & labori\s :5 well4 ,_! en]gy is sure to be consid]$ ! cause ( subsequ5t & frequ5t debility2 & if n blam$1 !y f9d less compassion or k9d consid]ation ?an ! indol5t & self-indulg5t4 ,^! la/ may be sick all ! "t1 & x is ascrib$ only to nature or ! provid5ce ( ,god4 ,b ! consci5ti\s & en]getic1 :o accompli% wond]s = !mselves or o!rs 9 _! brief int]vals ( heal?1 & possibly 9 sickness likewise1 are accus$ ( imprud5ce & a s9ful disreg>d ( self2 :ile 9 tru? x may be only by extreme c>e & unkn[n self-d5ials t !y are able to accompli% any ?+4 ,if ,m>y ,w>e 0 ev] sev]ely c5sur$1 we suppose x to h be5 9 connection ) ?is matt] ( heal?4 ,few wom5 h be5 bless$ ) a bett] con/itution1 or great] p[] ( action4 ,) an almo/ mascul9e frame1 !re 0 su* a degree ( firmness ) h] g5tl5ess1 z always gave ! idea ( m /r5g? ?an 0 want$4 ,we d\bt if 9 e>ly life %e ev] ?\ght ( sav+ h] /r5g?1 s accu/om$ 0 %e to d any ?+ t ne$$ to be done1 )\t say+ or ?9k+ mu* ab\t x4 ,%e :o _h be5 ! sole nurse ( a sick "m at ! age ( elev5 or twelve1 &1 z ano!r describes h] !n1 go+ ?r\gh all ! (fices ( ! sick-room ) ! firmness ( a woman1 hold+ on lee*es ) h] little h&1 & p]=m+ all ! necess>y duties1 n absolutely f necessity1 b f s mu* love & s mu* confid5ce t no "o else 0 want$1--%e :o _h sc>cely1 f t p]iod until middle life1 be5 free f c>e & toil = ! sick & suff]+1--might be p>don$ if %e became self-rely+1 or at lea/ self-=gett+4 ,& yet :5 at la/ t vigor\s frame 0 impair$1 & ! ov]wr\ght en]gies ( body & m9d p>tially gave way1 s t ! rema9d] ( h] life 0 subject to con/ant fluctuations ( /r5g? & weakness1 p[]ful ex]tion & acute suff]+1 %e does n seem to u to h be5 presumptu\s or ev] reckless4 ,x is evid5t n[1 if x 0 n at ! "t1 t %e made ?is z mu* a matt] ( sob] calculation & consci5ti\s que/ion+ z any ?+1 & mu* m ?an is common4 ,/ill %e tells u t %e 0 blam$ = h] imprud5ce2 & %e br+s in/ances f h] own exp]i5ce to %[ ! frequ5t error ( judg+ ( :at "o does1 or =be>s to d1 by ! app>5t result1 r ?an f k or by pr9ciple4 ,p judge by consequ5ces1 or :at seem to be consequ5ces1 r ?an by reason+ ^u premises4 ,x is p>tly to %[ h[ ,mrs4 ,w>e def5d$ h]self1 & at ! same "t submitt$ to c\nsel & 0 grateful = admonition1 & p>tly to %[ h[ s+ul>ly insulat$ %e mu/ h be5 9 h] e>ly tra9+ & h] self-=m$ "*1 t we introduce ! foll[+ note1 writt5 to a lady :o act$ ! "p ( a true fri5d4 ,! date is n giv51 b ! note itself %[s t x 0 writt5 ! ye> ( ! j\rney to ! ,s\? already m5tion$1 :5 %e accompani$ h] husb& at "s risk to h]self4 ,,my ,,de>1 ,,good ,,fri5d3-- ,i _c ?ank y z ,i w\ld = y\r k9d note4 ,i h n words :]e) to picture to y ! joy ,i feel1 t !re is any "o human be+ 9 exi/5ce :o is will+ to admoni% me freely4 ,if y h told me no?+ new1 y\r words are none ! less welcome1 = "o _c h ! tru? too frequ5tly pres5t$ to ! m9d & al?\gh we may h all k1 x is n (t5 t we c grasp x all at "o glance1 or ev5 t we rememb] ! po9ts mo/ useful to u at ! "t be+4 ,y w n ?9k ,i boa/1 :5 ,i say t "o & all ! views y pres5t h long =m$ "p ( ! rule ( action by :i* ,i h tri$ to gov]n myself1 because ,i "k y w easily und]/& ! deep-se>*+1 ,argus-ey$ vigilance1 :i* "o :olly self-educat$ almo/ inevitably acquires4 ,i nev] h _h1 s9ce ,i c rememb]1 a pr9ciple ( action sugge/$ to me1 or a ^w said to %[ me :y "o action 0 wrong & ano!r "r4 ,= _m ye>s a :isp] ( blame nev] rea*$ my e>s2 & :5 at la/ x came l a flood ^u me1 !re 0 no fri5dly look+-glass ne> to po9t out to me ! de=mity f :i* my mi/akes arose4 ,at t5 ye>s ( age ,i wak$ up to a s5se ( ! dang] ( ! /ate ( indulg5ce 9 :i* ,i 0 liv+4 ,at ?irte51 by ! dea? ( my "m1 ,i 0 left :olly to my own guidance1 ext]nally z well z int]nally2 & f t "t to ?is ,i h labor$ night & day to "k1 discipl9e1 & gov]n myself1 z ,i w\ld a *ild = ^: s\l ,i 0 responsible4 ,dr4 ,*ann+'s s]mons & conv]sation are ! only effectual human guide ,i ev] _h1 until ,i 0 m>ri$4 ,hav+ no "o to :om to speak1 & b "o fri5d to :om ,i c\ld write ^u ! subject1 no wond] t my habits ( ?\ght %\ld h be5 m cultivat$ ?an ( conv]sation2 no wond] ! :ole gr\nd ( self-deception1 self-di/ru/1 self-aggr&izem5t1 %\ld h be5 gone ov] aga9 & aga9 until e root 0 displac$ & expos$ to view2 ?\gh1 alas6 n a hundr$? "p eradicat$4 ,n[ ?is is n to my po9t1 b y w /ill see t y h done me good by mak+ me feel ?us loquaci\s & unres]v$ ) y4 ,y rem9d me t ,i omitt$ "o item 9 my def5ce1 ! m]e m5tion ( :i* w answ] _m ( y\r qu]ies4 ,:o c tell h[ (t5 a p]son1 blam$ = ! disreg>d ( _m consid]ations :i* ought to influ5ce ! conduct1 is inflam$ by ^? v consid]ations1 re/ra9$ by ^? v motives8 ,we see :at is done2 we _c see :at is =borne4 ,9 pro( ( ?is1 aft] ,i recov]$ f ! long illness :i* foll[$ imm$iately ^u my arrival at home1 ?ree & a half ye>s ago1 x 0 five or six mon?s be=e ,i felt any ?+ l ela/icity ( m9d or body2 ! lea/ ef=t fatigu$ me2 ,i look$ p]fectly well1 & e body 0 ask+ me :y ,i did n g "h1 !re1 & ev]y:]e4 ,i knew f my feel+s t ,i /ill ne$$ re/1 & ,i took x4 ,*ange ( air1 consequ5t ^u ! necessity ( att5d+ ,mr4 ,w>e 9 8 sickness at ,concord1 produc$ a great *ange 9 my :ole feel+s4 ,i seem$ well aga92 b ,i knew my sy/em _h mat]ially suff]$ :ile abroad1 & ,i det]m9$ religi\sly to ab/a9 f all ef=t ( all k9ds t did n seem p]fectly safe4 ,no "o knew any ?+ ab\t x1 ,i 0 s well4 ,/ill ,i p]sev]$4 ,i lit]ally did n walk across ! room1 or eat a meal1 t w9t]1 )\t delib]ately argu+ ! case1--0 x be/ or n8 ,9 ?is heal?y /ate1 ,i w5t to ,dr4 ,w4's lecture1 & 0 v prud5t aft]w>d2 yet :5 my sev]e sickness comm5c$1 x 0 all laid to t lecture2 ,i 0 talk$ to1 ev5 9 its wor/ /ages1 z if to be sick 0 a crime1 & ,i h n to ?is day he>d ! la/ ( x4444 ,aga91 ,i nev] 9 my :ole life did s imprud5t a ?+ z und]tak+ ! j\rney ,i did la/ spr+2 !re 0 no "o reason aga9/ ! probability1 almo/ c]ta9ty1 ( its injur+ me4 ,i knew ! risk2 no "o else did4 ,i took ! risk1 because ,i ?\ght ! object au?oriz$ x4 ,! result1 aft] mu* suff]+ by ! way1 0 favorable1 & all 0 well4 ,_h x be5 o!rwise1 !re w\ld h be5 voices en\gh to po9t out t x 0 wrong4444 ,!re is "o simple "q :i* ,i wi% to h answ]$1--,h[ d o!r p atta9 infallible correctness ( judgm5t8 ,is x by exp]i5ce or intuition8 ,if ! =m]1 h !y n suff]$ f _! exp]im5ts1 sometimes err$ 9 _! calculations1 & %\ld !y n h *>ity = o!rs :o are go+ ov] ! same gr\nd8 ,if by ! latt]1 %\ld !y n pity ^? less favor$ ?an !mselves8 ,i w n tr\ble y any m ) my egotism4 ,rememb]1 ! be/ favor y c conf] is1 :5 y ?9k ,i am do+ wrong1 to *eck me1 ask me :y1 %[ me :]e9 ,i deceive myself2 & nev] fe> to speak pla9ly to y\r grateful fri5d1 ,m4 ,l4 ,,w>e4 ,!re is ano!r prov9ce into :i* ! really high-m9d$ & indep5d5t w c>ry ! same consci5ti\sness1 ) equal firmness4 ,x is a prov9ce (t5 reg>d$ z l[ & little4 ,no?+ is little t involves pr9ciples & affects "*4 ,& :at does ?is m ?an ,dress8 ,x is a matt] to :i* few c be indiff]5t1 ev5 9 a pecuni>y view2 & t is by no means ! highe/ view4 ,love ( dress is admitt$ to be "o ( ! e>lie/ passions t appe> 9 human nature1 & may be said to be a univ]sal passion4 ,if x be /rong] 9 "o sex ?an 9 ! o!r1--a fact m easily assum$ ?an demon/rat$1--%e is ! nobl] woman1 wife1 & "m :o gives x its prop] place among ! elem5ts ( education1 & bo? deigns & d>es to speak ( x & act ^u x z a ,*ri/ian4 ,s did ,mrs4 ,w>e speak & act4 ,! circum/ances 9 :i* %e _h always be5 plac$1 induc+ ! habit & ! necessity ( /rict frugality1 z we h se51 w\ld alone h prev5t$ h] f ov]look+ s l>ge an item 9 ! dome/ic & social economy4 ,b besides ?is1 %e _h reg>d to ! integrity ( h] pr9ciples1 & ! influ5ce ( example4 ,%e aim$ evid5tly at two po9ts1 n easily atta9$ toge!r1--to make little ( ! :ole matt] ( dress1 &1 at ! same "t1 br+ x "u ! control ( a high ,*ri/ian rule4 ,z to h] own attire1 we %\ld say no "o ?\ght ( x at all1 because ( its simplicity1 & because ( h] ease ( mann]s & dignity ( "*4 ,yet ?is impression is qualifi$1 ?\gh 9 "o view confirm$1 by he>+ t1 9 a new place ( resid5ce1 s pla9 0 h] appe>ance on all occasions1 ! villag]s suspect$ h] ( res]v+ h] f9e clo!s = "s bett] class1--a suspicion only amus+ to ^? :o knew h]1 b sure to give pa9 to h] b5evol5t he>t4 ,9 ano!r note to ! female fri5d la/ address$1 %e expresses h] ?\ghts & describes h] practice on ?is subject1 s simply & s5sibly1 t we _c hesitate to (f] all ( x except ! specific & p]sonal applications2 :ile ^!1 if !y c\ld be giv51 w\ld %[ yet m h[ consi/5t & ?or\gh %e 04 ,saturday ,ev5+1 ,janu>y #ag1 #ahce4 ,,my ,,de> ,,fri5d3-- ,i h su* a poor faculty at express+ myself 9 spee*1 t ,i nev] feel t ,i h q done myself ju/ice 9 any delicate matt]1 :5 ,i h us$ only oral means4 ,i h felt ?is peculi>ly s9ce ,i left y ?is aft]noon1 because "s expressions ( m9e h recurr$ to my m9d's e>1 :i* ,i ?\ght might possibly be con/ru$ by y into a v diff]5t mean+ f _! int5d$ "o4 ,i d n1 z y "k1 l to tr\ble my fri5ds ) ! discussions ( que/ions m]ely p]sonal1 & :i* ,i ought to be able to decide = myself unaid$2 & ! :ole subject ( dress seems1 at a fir/ glance1 s trifl+1 t mo/ p w\ld laugh at my hav+ a s]i\s ?\ght ab\t x4 ,b to me1 ! lea/ ?+ :i* c h an influ5ce ^u ! "* ( my *ildr5 becomes 9 my eyes a matt] ( deep importance2 & = ?is reason ,i h really long$ to ent] ^u ?is said subject ) "s "o :o c\ld look at x 9 ! same light1 or :o c\ld disabuse me ( my anxiety ab\t x1 if x 0 a fooli% "o4 ,accid5t has op5$ ! door to y\r e>1 & if y c h pati5ce ) me1 & ,i c f9d words to tell y :at ,i mean1 ,i may "s "t or o!r try y\r fri5d%ip 9 ?is way4 ,to g back a little4 ,:5 we w5t to ,europe1 y may "k x 0 ! lib]ality ( our fri5ds1 & ! goodwill ( ! ,corporation1 :i* enabl$ u to und]take ! exp5se ( s long a t\r4 ,we calculat$ v well = su* novices1 b c\ld n anticipate ! great additional draft :i* a *ild's bir? & ! j\rney home w\ld make ^u our res\rces4 ,consequ5tly we return$ 9 debt4 ,?is debt we _h hop$ to liquidate by liv+ )9 our sal>y1 & ?us lay+ by a little e ye>4 ,f\r ye>s' exp]im5t has prov$ ?is hope fallaci\s4 ,e ye> has br\ght ) x "s occasion ( great extra exp5se1 :i* has tak5 up :at might o!rwise h be5 laid by = ?is purpose4 ,we h _h1 y "k1 a great deal ( sickness1 & !re h be5 o!r cont+5cies :i* x is n necess>y to enum]ate4 ,^! may n occur aga91 b pa/ exp]i5ce proves t we h no "r to calculate ^u su* exemptions2 & x becomes1 !re=e1 m ?an ev] necess>y t we economize 9 ! /ricte/ mann]1 to d all we c to free ourselves f ?is burd51 & to d ju/ice to o!rs4 ,our *ildr51 ( c\rse1 are acqua9t$ ) ?is /ate ( affairs1 & x is "r t !y %\ld d _! "p1 & f "r motives4 ,!y "k1 z we d1 t !re are _m exp5ses ( daily occurr5ce 9 :i* !re _c be any retr5*m5t consi/5t ) our obligations to our fri5ds & ! situation we hold 9 society1--su* z ! calls ( hospitality & *>ity4 ,b !y ought to feel t all p]sonal sacrifices are to be made t c be1 accord+ to a /&>d ( propriety :i* a high moral s5se w\ld dictate4 ,?is1 ( c\rse1 mu/ be 9 "s measure an arbitr>y /&>d1 to be settl$ z mu* by exp]im5t & example z by reason+4 ,i h !re=e _h b few rules ^u ! subject1 leav+ to ea* occasion :i* br+s up ! "q all argum5tation1 tak+ c>e to h z little discussion z may be possible1 le/ x become 9 any way ! subject ( too mu* ?\ght4 ,?is is p>ticul>ly to be avoid$ ) reg>d to dress1 & ^u ?is ,i h be5 m puzzl$ ?an on any o!r bran*1 z bo? our eld] *ildr5 are j ( an age to require v 'judgmatical' treatm5t ^u x4 ,my rule = myself is1 z ,i told y1 to d )\t e ?+ :i* ,i c dec5tly1 mak+ my own ideas ( dec5cy1 n o!rs'1 ! /&>d4 ,x is a difficult matt]1 especially z ,i make no pret5sions to good ta/e1 or good faculty1 ab\t ext]nals2 b ?is1 ,i ma9ta91 does n alt] ! "q ( duty4444 ,i feel t ,i am try+ y\r pati5ce ) mu* ado ab\t a small ?+4 ,b x is my weak side to wi% to be ?or\ghly und]/ood by my fri5ds1 weak po9ts & all2 & x helps me to und]/& myself1 ?us to try to make o!rs und]/& me4 ,i h n a ^w ( compla9t to make4 ,we are f> bett] provid$ = ?an is necess>y to our happ9ess4 ,we c\ld live ^u our income & gr[ ri*1 7 our wi%es only our rule2 b z we are situat$1 x is n easy to make 'all ends meet1' z ! phrase is2 & z our five *ildr5 gr[ e day old]1 x becomes m & m difficult e ye>4 ,c y tea* me to economize8 ,i fe>1 h[ev]1 t if y c\ld1 y c\ld n insure me /r5g? to c>ry y\r plan into execution4 ,no "o :o has n exp]i5c$ x c tell h[ great a drawback sickness is to all sav+1 especially :5 x comes ^u ! head ( ! h\se1 & :5 x requires ! mo/ exp5sive k9ds ( rem$y4 ,b en\gh ( all ?is4 ,i wi% y w\ld tell me if y d n ?9k ,i am "r 9 decl9+ y\r (f]4 ,i am always d\btful en\gh ab\t my own judgm5t1 to be op5 to conviction f ^? :o diff]4 ,y\rs 9 all love4 ,m4 ,l4 ,,w>e4 ,! ye>s #ahcd & #ahce are spok5 ( by ,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,w>e z peculi>ly favor$1 hav+ little sickness or sev]e trial1 comp>$ ) o!r ye>s4 ,b ?is mu/ h be5 only a comp>ative view2 = we f9d sev]al incid5tal allusions to a /ate ( feebl5ess & inability1 :i* mo/ ( u w\ld consid] q en\gh ei!r = discipl9e or release f labor4 ,v pleasantly1 h[ev]1 does ,mrs4 ,w>e speak ( ^? int]ruptions & pro/rations1 z if !y 7 ! ord9>y condition4 ,to ,emma %e writes3 ,c\ld y h alight$ ^u u at any "t )9 ! la/ =tnight1 y w\ld h f\nd y\rself at home4 ,ne>ly all la/ week ,mr4 ,w>e & myself enjoy$ a mo/ social tete-a-tete ^u ! two b$s :i* occupy my *amb]1 nei!r ( u capable ( read+ to ! o!r1 nor1 a great "p ( ! "t1 ( speak+2 ,i ill f ! effects ( ! cramp1 he f ! fatigue ( tak+ c>e ( me ) x4 ,f ?is /ate we 7 compell$ to r\se ourselves1 by hav+ "o dome/ic tak5 sick1 & ,nanny ---- ,all ! re/ y "k4 ,?is 0 said 9 #ahcd4 ,9 ! autumn ( t ye> a daught] 0 born2 & = a "t ,mrs4 ,w>e 0 s helpless1 t %e yield$ m ?an 0 h] wont to feel+s ( disc\ragem5t4 ,i did try to be hopeful2 b ! idea ( s long a p]iod ( uselessness1 & its consequ5t evils to my *ildr5 & family1 0 dreadful to me2 & ,i c\ld n q feel t ,i c\ld receive x z pati5tly z ,i ought4 ,b sev]ely does %e *ide h]self = ?is di/ru/1 especially z ! result 0 s mu* bett] ?an h] fe>s4 ,%e rega9$ h] heal?1 & soon enjoy$ a great] s5se ( /r5g? & en]gy ?an %e _h _h s9ce h] m>riage4 ,& ?is p]iod ( exemption--?\gh n v long z reg>d$ ! heal? ( all ! h\sehold--0 "o ( ! seasons 9 :i* %e /rove to make am5ds = lo/ "t1 & accompli%$ a va/ deal4 ,n t !re 0 any rem>kable1 visible product4 ,%e nev] labor$ = "o object exclusively1 9 doors or out1 & x w\ld n be easy to po9t to def9ite results4 ,x may be d\bt$ if %e ev] ?\ght mu* ( results1 or expect$1 or ev5 desir$1 to see !m 9 any sure & signal =m4 ,to d all %e c\ld 0 h] only ambition2 & %e _h ! wisdom :i* is wor? m ?an any o!r1--to be cont5t ) do+ all %e c\ld1 only tak+ c>e t t ^w all %\ld take 9 some?+ m ?an ! ?\ght ( e>?1 or self4 ,%e did n =get t objects & int]e/s h a relative1 z well z positive importance2 & probably all :o knew h] well h m>k$ ?is z a *>act]i/ic trait1--t %e /udi$ ! exact proportion ( ! diff]5t claims ^u h] "t1 & 0 m anxi\s to d ju/ly ?an to d all ?+s4 ,9 our times1 & 9 a position l ,mr4 ,w>e's1 !re 7 sure to be num]\s calls & claims abroad z well z at home1 & = a woman n less ?an a man4 ,we h n inquir$ z to ! names or numb] ( ! b5evol5t societies & indu/rial ent]prises 9 ,cambridge1 9 :i* ,mrs4 ,w>e took "p4 ,t %e ga9$ any notoriety 9 ?is way1 we %\ld be surpris$ to he>1 bo? f h] multiplicity ( duties1 & h] pref]5ce ( private to public activity4 ,yet t h] influ5ce 0 felt1 h] judgm5t peculi>ly reli$ ^u1 & h] pres5ce always welcom$1 9 ^! connections1 we "k4 ,cases ( moral want & exposure int]e/$ h] mo/1 & we h reason to ?9k t %e 0 nev] )\t "s su* case on h] h&s or 9 h] he>t4 ,:at %e c\ld n d h]self1 9 ! gift ( "t or clo!s or money1 %e always induc$ o!rs to d1 nev] suff]+ an object ( actual want or p]il to g unassi/$4 ,v f> 0 %e above ! poor apology1 t to d any ?+ = "o suff]] w create m4 ,9 a multitude ( small notes giv5 u1 writt5 by h] to v>i\s neighbors & fri5ds1 we *anc$ to see 9 "o1 s small z at fir/ to be ov]look$1 a few words t fix$ att5tion2 & on read+ x ?r\gh1 we f\nd1 9 ! compass ( a few l9es1 a :ole volume ( illu/ration z to h] int]e/1 h] c\rage1 & h] p[] ( indignation = selfi% excuses4 ,we give x j z x 0 writt5 to a neighbor1 ano!r "r-m9d$ woman4 ,i h company1 !re=e _c answ] y at l5g?1 or z ,i wi%4 ,i %\ld h /epp$ 9 to see y ?is aft]noon1 if ,i _h n be5 prev5t$ by call]s1 to say a few words ^u ! subject ( ! latt] "p ( y\r note4 ,i h to-day got at ! poor man's w>drobe = ! fir/ "t1 & det]m9$ to beg = "s means to supply x ) a few dec5cies1 = ev5 !y are want+4 ,mr4 ,w>e has ?\ght x q all[able to /ate ! case to "o or two ( our ri* m51 to raise en\gh to pay ! exp5ses ( 8 j\rney2 & ,i h j resolv$ to und]take ! o!r matt]4 ,b ,i am full ( wra?ful indignation at be+ sne]$ at = tak+ him 94 ',y w h en\gh ,engli% begg>s at y\r door1 if y d s4' ,a good argum5t aga9/ reliev+ any di/ress6 ,s let ! poor suff] z mu* z !y may1--no relief1--= o!rs w be idle & want relief too6--,m4 ,l4 ,w4 ,9 ano!r brief note1 we saw a /atem5t ( ,mrs4 ,w>e1 to ! effect t = _m ye>s %e _h n be5 )\t "s case ( intemp]ance on h&2 & a little inquiry tells u t x ref]s to h] habit ( help+ ! re=m$ & ! /ruggl+ to get an hone/ liv+4 ,a ,ladies' ,aid ,society _h be5 =m$ 9 ,cambridge1 ) t special object2 & its ,presid5t1 be+ oblig$ to leave home1 ask$ ,mrs4 ,w>e to look aft] h] pati5ts1 :5 %e f\nd t ,m>y _h long be5 do+ privately1 & by h]self1 :at !y 7 do+ z a society4 ,x may seem ! language ( en?usia/ic fri5d%ip1 & our read]s w d$uct :at !y please on t acc\nt1 b we mu/ give a passage f a rec5t lett]1 writt5 by "o ( ! _m !ological /ud5ts :o _h free access to ,mr4 ,w>e's h\se & family4 ,9 ref]5ce to ,mrs4 ,w>e1 he writes3 ,i h (t5 quot$ h] example s9ce to ^? :o make ! c>es ( h\sekeep+ an excuse = ! neglect ( all public (fices4 ,%e seem$ to keep h\se bett] ?an any body else1 to ex]cise a l>g] & fre] hospitality1 to make h] tea-table a pleasant resort1 to provide m simply & at ! same "t m attractively1 :ile1 aft] all1 h] dome/ic c>es 7 only an incid5t 9 h] daily duties4 ,%e seem$ to h "t = e great out-door or g5]al int]e/1 & to be full ( s*emes ( b5evol5ce & k9dness4 ,& x 0 ! easy1 natural way 9 :i* %e p]=m$ ^! d\ble functions t gave me su* a s5se ( h] p[]4 ,9 reg>d to int]c\rse ) g5]al society & fe/ive ga!r+s1 ,m>y ,w>e 0 (t5 drawn to !m1 n less by a social1 g5ial temp] ?an by a s5se ( duty4 ,a duty ev5 !re %e recogniz$ & reg>d$2 a duty second>y1 c]ta9ly1 to _m o!rs1 b involv+ obligation :5 o!r duties came n 9 ! way4 ,%e believ$ t society _h claims z well z ! family1 & pure enjoym5t z well z religion4 ,h] social sympa?ies 7 always calm1 b nev] cold2 subdu$1 b ard5t1 & ev] ready bo? to ta/e & imp>t pleasure4 ,h] int]e/ 9 *ildr5 0 a passion1 & h] love ( see+ & promot+ _! enjoym5t z int5se z any we h kn[n4 ,%e c\ld ill brook any re/ra9t put ^u ! fre$om & joy\sness ( ! "y1 beyond ! po9t ( propriety or o!rs' com=t4 ,h] own conv5i5ce1 h] rooms1 h] :ole h\se1 %e w\ld give up1 add+ h] p[]s ( ent]ta9m5t & enjoym5t1 r ?an make life *e]less or religion repulsive4 ,_m sc5es c we recall ( *ildi% glee & he>ty frolic1 presid$ ov]1 %>$1 & promot$ by bo? ! heads ( t h\se1 ) :i* are associat$ "s ( ! happie/ h\rs ( life1 & ! be/4 ,we w always ?ank ,god t ^? two he>ts1 :i* ,he 0 pleas$ to *a/5 ) _m sicknesses & sorr[s1 7 z g5ial & joy\s z !y 7 pure & humble4 ,!re 0 "o =m ( social ent]ta9m5t--if x des]ve ! "n--) :i* ,mrs4 ,w>e _h no sympa?y1 & = :i* %e _h little *>ity4 ,inde$1 t indignation :i* we h se5 enk9dl$ by selfi%ness1 ?\gh n easily r\s$1 c\ld n always re/ra9 itself 9 ! he>+ ( small gossip or busy sc&al4 ,we said 9 ! introduction to ?is ,memoir1 t n a s+le l9e or ^w alli$ to ^? petty vices h we f\nd 9 ! :ole ext5t ( h] correspond5ce1 sob] or trivial4 ,we are sure ! same might be said ( h] conv]sation4 ,nor 0 ?is negative only4 ,!re 0 a tone ( decid$ displeasure1 &1 if necess>y1 po9t$ repro(1 call$ =? at times by ! spiteful or ?\ghtless sc&al-mong]4 ,%e w\ld n all[ t we h a "r to be ?\ghtless2 nor did %e believe t we 7 s5t into ! _w to scan a neighbor's conduct or impugn ano!r's motives4 ,9 a lett] writt5 at ,cambridge to a fri5d :om %e _h be5 to meet 9 ,bo/on1 b ) :om h] enjoym5t _h be5 greatly int]rupt$1 %e ?us expresses h]self4 ,x is only tantaliz+ to meet 9 ,bo/on1 to fritt] away ! few mom5ts ( int]c\rse :i* we want = bett] purposes 9 ! idle1 pr(itless gossip ( city life4 ,is x because ,i h s little int]e/ 9 o!r p1 or is x = a bett] reason1 t ,i h no pati5ce ) he>+ p descant ^u ! :ys & :]e=es ( _! neighbors' conc]ns2 discuss+ _! actions ) z decid$ judgm5t ^u _! m]its1 z if ! secret spr+s ( ?\ght1 & all ! v>i\s causes :i* l$ to !m1 7 z fully develop$ to u z !y c be to ! ,omnisci5t only8 ,i "k we may le>n mu* f o!rs' exp]i5ce1 bo? 9 w>n+ & example2 & to d ?is1 we mu/ closely obs]ve !m1 & foll[ or v>y f _! c\rse z our own consci5ce & judgm5t may dictate4 ,b surely x is n necess>y t we %\ld be all ! "t speculat+ & gossip+ ) ea* o!r1 ^u e portion ( ! lives ( our neighbors1 or su* portions z _c f _! v nature be ( any importance to u 9 any way4 ,is x j to our m9ds s to employ !m8 ,is x ,*ri/ian *>ity t[>ds o!rs8 ,i may see cle>ly my neighbor's faults1 & if !re be any *ance ( do+ him good by x1 ,i may speak ( !m to him freely4 ,i may consult a fri5d1 :o ,i "k w treat ! subject ) ! same t5d] feel+ t ,i h myself1 ^u all ! views :i* c\ld result 9 good to ! guilty or ourselves4 ,b to talk publicly to any & all ab\t ! matt]1 = no possible result b ! gett+ rid ( s mu* "t1 fo/]+ contempt on ! "o h& & self-conceit on ! o!r1 seems to me ! wick$e/ abuse ( ! high privilege ( spee* t ,i "k (1 next to absolute falsehood4 ,& h[ (t5 does ?is habit lead to falsehood1 & all mann] ( inju/ice6444 ,b en\gh4 ,p]haps ,i am too mu* ( a recluse to judge ju/ly ( ! temptations ( city life1 & am committ+ ! v s9 :i* ,i am condemn+4 ,suffice x to say1 t ?us 0 my :ole com=t 9 t[n de/roy$1 & ,i came home feel+ t1 s f> z reg>d$ our k ( ea* o!r's inn] woman1 we might z well n h met4 ,) all ! v>iety ( ! ,cambridge life1 !re 0 necess>ily a sam5ess :i* makes x ne$less to m>k e ye>1 or foll[ exactly ! ord] ( ev5ts4 ,! *ief ev5ts ( ^! twelve ye>s 7 ! dea? ( "o *ild1 ! bir? ( f\r1 & ! v>iations ( heal? & sickness to bo? p>5ts4 ,9 ! exp]i5ce ( sickness1 ! ye> #ahcf br\ght "o ( ! sore/ visitations4 ,we subjo9 ,mrs4 ,w>e's acc\nt ( x soon aft] its occurr5ce1 & h] review ( ! ye> at its close4 ,cambridge1 ,may #bi1 #ahcf4 ,,my ,,de> ,n----3 444 ,y h he>d1 no d\bt1 en\gh ( ! outl9e ( our /ory to h trac$ u 9 all our outw>d movem5ts4 ,b y _c "k :at ri* exp]i5ce ! la/ f\r mon?s h br\ght to u1 & ! compass ( a lett] c tell y little4 ,! fir/ /roke 0 a heavy "o4 ,h5ry _h be5 v well all w9t]1 & _h ga9$ a degree ( /r5g? & ability to labor unh>m$1 :i*1 9 our mo/ sangu9e mom5ts1 we nev] ev5 hop$ =1 s t ! disappo9tm5t 0 ev5 great] ?an :5 he 0 tak5 ill at ,w>e1 z ! height f :i* he fell 0 great]4 ,he 0 attack$1 = ! fir/ "t s9ce t1 ^u ! lungs2 & :51 = ! fir/ few days1 x seem$ q reasonable to expect t ! consequ5ces1 if n ev5 m al>m+1 w\ld be at lea/ z la/+ z ^? :i* foll[$ ! =m] attack1 ! prospect 0 he>t-sick5+4 ,x requir$ ! indu/ri\s use ( all ! few mom5ts ( ?\ght ,i c\ld borr[ f my occupations1 to ga!r /r5g? en\gh to n]ve me = ! calm contemplation ( ! picture4 ,8 own view ( ! case 0 a v reasonable "o2 & ! calmness ) :i* he look$ at ! improbability ( recov]y1 0 at once an aid & a s\rce ( high enjoym5t to me4 ,a few weeks1 h[ev]1 gave u m enc\ragem5t2 ! attack 0 n a sev]e "o1 & yield$ readily to ! rem$ies appli$4 ,& al?\gh we c\ld n b look =w>d to a long conf9em5t at t season ( ! ye>1 !re 0 mu* 9 8 /ate to give u pleasure4 ,8 m9d is always1 :5 he beg9s to recov]1 9 a v animat$ /ate1 v active1 & ^u ! mo/ ent]ta9+ subjects4 ,?is "t he injur$ 8 eyes by look+ ov] newspap]s & books1 9 ! e>ly "p ( 8 illness2 s t1 z soon z my mo/ ardu\s duties z nurse ceas$1 ,i _h to comm5ce ^? ( read] & amanu5sis4 ,i nev] 0 s lit]>y 9 my life4 ,i did no?+ b read & write2 nor h ,i done mu* else s9ce1 = he _c yet d ei!r = himself4 ,?us pass$ t5 weeks1 a p]iod equal to our :ole resid5ce at ,w>e & ,worce/]2 & yet1 ow+ to ! diff]5ce ( ! season1 he c\ld n get out ( 8 room m ?an once or twice a week1 :5 he 0 c>ri$ 9 arms to a c>riage4 ,at ?is "t1 too1 ,i sunk = a %ort t]m1 n ) disease1 b exhau/ion f conf9em5t & incessant ef=t ( "s k9d or o!r4 ,i soon got re/$2 b :e!r f ! int]ruption :i* ?is caus$ to ,h5ry's lit]>y employm5ts1 or because ! "t _h come = a *ange1 ,i "k n1--8 own animation ceas$1 & he seem$ 9 dang] ( los+ all 8 en]gy & /r5g? = ! want ( air & ex]cise4 ,i _h hop$ t he w\ld be s5t to a w>m] region z soon z he _h /r5g? to get !re1 = air & ex]cise are always ess5tial to 8 recov]y4 ,b he dragg$ on1 until ,i 0 n will+ to be submissive any long]2 & ,i begg$ t he might g to ,new ,york at lea/1 = a city is s mu* m protect$ ?an ! c\ntry1 t he c\ld walk !re 9 wea!r t w\ld h kept him 9 "h4 ,i w5t to ,new ,york ) him1 b c\ld n well /ay2 & z he 0 9 a second home !re1 x did n seem necess>y4 ,he came home j 9 "t to sit d[n by a fire dur+ ?is long /orm6 ,x 0 mo/ unlucky1 b _c be help$4 ,7 x possible1 ,i w\ld g (f ) him z soon z ! sun %9es1 to keep him f go+ to "w4 ,i nev] say any ?+ is impossible1 b x seems to me next to x t ,i %\ld leave home n[4 ,all my five *ildr5 are at home1--to say no?+ ( n hav+ att5d$ to any ( my dome/ic duties s9ce la/ ,janu>y2--a little sew+ to be done1 y may fancy4 ,/ill1 if x is necess>y to g1 "s way ( effect+ x w pres5t itself4 ,y\rs 9 all true love4 ,,m>y ,l4 ,,w>e4 99 99 99 99 99 ,bo/on1 ,decemb] #ca1 #ahcf4 ,saturday ,night4 ,,my ,,de> ,n----3 ,:at a cr[d ( recollections ru% ^u my m9d z ,i date ?is lett]6 ,x is n9e ye>s s9ce ,i h affix$ ',bo/on' to ?is annual epi/le2 & ! la/ ',saturday night' :i* f\nd me ?us occupi$ 0 elev5 ye>s ago1 at ,osmo!rly1 #ahbe2 & ! la/ "t ,i wrote ! :ole date 0 to a note :i* accompani$ a pair ( pegg$ gloves :i* ,i sat up till midnight to f9i% = y\r bro!r1 9 #ahad4 ,:at an int]e/+ & v>i$ picture d ^! dates pres5t to my m9d's eye1 & h[ _m remembrances are associat$ ) !m ( joy & sorr[1 ( trial & happ9ess6 ,i c\ld will+ly sp5d h\rs 9 recall+ all 9 detail1 & ,i feel z if x w\ld d u bo? good1 %\ld ,i d s2 = ,i f9d t1 9 ! full occupation ( ! pres5t1 ! lessons ( ! pa/ are los+ _! p[] ov] me4 ,_! voice _c be he>d 9 ! busy bu/le ( life2 & x is only at a few favor$ mom5ts l ^!1 :5 all creation )9 & ar\nd u pauses1 z x 71 be=e tak+ ano!r onw>d /ep t[>ds et]nity1 t we c he> _! di/ant1 solemn murmur4 ,x is good1 !n1 to turn our he>ts to ! tea*+1 & to fix 9 !m m deeply ! w>n+ & enc\ragem5t :i* we may ?us receive4444 ,i h be5 l$ lately to ?9k m ?an usual ( ! pa/1 by ,mrs4 ,b----'s dea?4 ,i believe ,i d n exagg]ate :5 ,i re/ 9 ! idea t %e 0 a woman ( r>e p[]s to int]e/ & influ5ce ^? ar\nd h]4 ,my own recollections br+ ) !m a s5se ( almo/ romantic en?usiasm ) reg>d to h]2 & ,i am q sure t ,i owe z mu* ( my conception ( ! lovel9ess ( a truly religi\s be+ to h] exhibition ( x1 z to any "o o!r s\rce4 ,) ! ?\ght ( h] 9 h] glory1 comes ! remembrance ( _m :o h be5 tak5 f "t to "t f our communion2 & x amazes me to f9d h[ l>ge is _! numb]4 ,h[ soon w x be1 t x w become a r>e ?+ to meet "o ( ! companions ( our *ildhood6444 ,p]haps ,i g5]alize too mu* f my own individual exp]i5ce2 b ,i f9d x s difficult to keep be=e my eyes ! unc]ta9ty ( life1 or to feel z ,i w\ld d ! reality ( ! spiritual _w1 s busy am ,i ) ! occupations ( ?is mat]ial "o1 t ,i %\ld l to be recall$ to ! subject by "s irresi/ible voice e h\r ( ! day4 ,i h sp5t ?is ev5+ 9 our old *ur* at ! ,nor? ,end1 = ! fir/ "t ^u ?is occasion s9ce ,i liv$ 9 ,%eafe ,/reet1 :5 ,h5ry prea*$2 & z ,i look back ^u ! exp]i5ce ,i h _h s9ce t "t1 x seems to me ,i h little hope ( ev] be+ :at ,i ought to be1 :5 all ?is has _h s little effect4 99 99 99 99 99 ,janu>y #i4 ,ye/]day1 he>d ,dr4 ,*ann+ prea* & adm9i/] ! communion1 ! latt] ( :i* is m to me ?an ev5 8 be/ s]mons1 s great is ! p[] ( association4444 ,i f9d ,i almo/ lose sight ( "s ( my be/ pleasures1 :5 ,i h be5 = any l5g? ( "t free f great trial4 ,9 tru?1 all ?is nom5clature is wrong4 ,ease & prosp]ity make our greate/ trial2 we are nev] m bless$ ?an :5 we are said to be 9 affliction4 ,x is rem>kable1 t n "o ye> has pass$ s9ce ,i began ?is cu/om ( record+ to y ^! m]cies1 t !re has n be5 "s /rik+ "o on ! li/4 ,:at is to come ?is ye>8 ,god kn[s2 & 9 ?is ,i c re/ satisfi$4 ,h5ry's eyes are useless1 & m9e /ill 9 requisition2 ( c\rse ,i d no?+ else1 except at odd mom5ts1 :5 he is away or asleep4 ,,m>y4 ,mr4 ,w>e's sev]e illness at ?is p]iod seems to h be5 a crisis2 = ! two foll[+ ye>s1 bo? ) him & h]1 7 probably ! be/ ( all !y pass$ at ,cambridge1 9 _! fre$om f sickness1 _! ability to "w1 & ! am\nt ( _! "w4 ,we connect !m 9 ?is respect1 = x is n easy to sep>ate _! sph]es & ag5cies1 ev5 9 reg>d to 8 pr(essional labors4 ,( c\rse1 we mean to imply no?+ z to any special m5tal aid1 = no woman ev] made less pret5sion1 or less attempt1 at any ?+ m ?an c\ld be done by e s5sible & int]e/$ m9d4 ,b s completely did %e ent] into all 8 engagem5ts1 s con/antly did %e wat* ! degree ( 8 /r5g? & ! effect ( 8 ex]tions1 & s (t5 0 %e call$ to assi/ him directly1 z read] or writ]1 f ! failure ( 8 eyes & 8 frequ5t debility1 t h] coop]ation 0 n :olly a figure ( spee*4 ,!n1 too1 h] he>t 0 z mu* enli/$ 9 ! welf>e & success ( 8 pupils 9 ! ,!ological ,s*ool1 z x _h be5 9 8 ,bo/on p>i%4 ,all t %e _h a "r to "k1 %e did "k2 all t a woman & fri5d c\ld d = ^? pupils1 9 sympa?y1 c\nsel1 enc\ragem5t1 or p]sonal aid1 %e inv>iably did4 ,a son1 !n a memb] ( ! ,s*ool1 says ( h]3 ,z a ,pr(essor's wife1 ,i d n ?9k fa!r's he>t 0 m 9 ! ,s*ool ?an 0 h]s4 ,i suspect %e knew e ?+ ab\t x1 & 0 8 con/ant assi/ant & c\nsellor4 ,h[ mu* directly %e _h to d ) ! "y m51 ,i _c say4 ,!y 7 enc\rag$ to be at ! h\se1 came to tea con/antly by invitation1 & 9 all sicknesses %e c>$ = !m2 especially ,m---- & ,b----1 :o 7 br\ght to ! h\se1 & ,c----1 & also an und]graduate1 sick4 ,%e did :at %e c\ld = ! de/itute among !m2 & ,i rememb] h] gett+ %irts made1 c41 c4 ,i rememb]1 too1 ! delicate way 9 :i* ,i 0 s5t1 on a cold ,new ,ye>'s ev5+1 ) a l>ge bundle to an und]graduate :o 0 fri5dless & p5niless4 ,!re are o!rs1 & _m1 :o c\ld tell mu* m2 & ^: recollections ( h] delicate sympa?y1 g5]\s aid1 & unpret5d+ goodness1 w h>dly suff] !m to speak ( h]1 b ) sil5t te>s4 ,!y felt h] moral p[]2 & all ! m1 because %e seem$ utt]ly unconsci\s ( x4 ,nev] h ,i be5 ) h]1 writes "o1 :o says he _h b a common acqua9tance1 no matt] h[ %ort ! "t or slight ! occasion1 )\t ! feel+ ( great] elevation ( s\l4 ,i nev] knew "o ( :om ?is 7 tru]4 ,virtue came out ( h]4 ,& he only adds1 ( "o connect$ ) him1 ,ev5 n[ ! ?\ght ( ,mrs4 ,w>e moves h] m ?an ! pres5ce ( any liv+ fri5d4 ,:ile writ+ ^! passages1 we h receiv$ ! te/imony ( ano!r ( ^? /ud5ts1 m ext5d$1 b too p]t95t & valuable to be abridg$4 ,! memb]s ( ! ,!ological ,s*ool 7 always sure ( h] sympa?y4 ,!y w5t to h] z !y w\ld to an eld] si/]4 ,!re 0 some?+ peculi>ly engag+ & attractive ab\t h]1 :i* we all felt1 b c\ld n well und]/&4 ,yet %e did n enc\rage1 z "s k9d-he>t$ wom5 d1 ! morbid s5sibilities ( "y m51 :i*1 ev5 :ile app>5tly depreciat+ _! own p[]s1 almo/ always h _! orig9 9 an exagg]at$ egotism or "s mask$ =m ( selfi%ness4 ,mrs4 ,w>e's peculi> excell5ce 01 t1 )\t enc\rag+ su* a /ate ( m9d & )\t repell+ ^? :o _h *]i%$ x1 %e1 by ! heal?9ess ( h] own m9d & ! *e]ful dis9t]e/$ness ( h] "*1 dissolv$ ! gloomy spell1 & s5t away h] visitors ) new hope & life4 ,x 0 ! atmosph]e 9 :i* %e liv$1 m ?an any p>ticul> words or acts1 t made h] pres5ce 9 ,cambridge s attractive1 & s b5efic5t to ! "y at t p]iod ( life :5 !y are likely to be 9 a morbid condition4 ,to g f our rooms to h] h\se1 :5 we _h got disc\rag$ or worn d[n1 0 l go+ into a diff]5t climate4 ,& we w5t back1 l invalids :o h be5 sp5d+ a w9t] at ! ,s\?1 ) new vitality 9 our ve9s4 ,:ile connect$ ) ! ,s*ool1 9 #ahcd1 ,i _h a %ort b viol5t attack ( bra9 fev]4 ,i 0 9 ,div9ity ,hall1 & v k9dly tak5 c>e ( by my associates 9 ! ,s*ool1 :o did = me e ?+ t "y m5 "k h[ to d 9 su* a case4 ,aft] a few days1 ,mrs4 ,w>e came to see me4 ,! b>e sight ( h] c\nt5ance1 & ! sweet1 g5tle tones ( h] voice1 ,i %all nev] =get4 ,!y *ang$ ! :ole aspect ( ! room4 ,z soon z x c\ld be done1 ,i 0 remov$ to h] h\se4 ,& ! delicacy ( h] t\*1 z 9 my helplessness %e wa%$ my h&s & face1 ) ! air ( mo!rly *e]fulness & t5d]ness1 0 to my diseas$ n]ves l ! m9i/ry ( "o f a bett] _w4 ,dur+ ! mon?s ( conf9em5t & extreme debility :i* succe$$1 ! remembrance ( h] k9dness 0 a con/ant s\rce ( com=t1 & ,i _c n[ recall x )\t deep & grateful emotion4 ,9 connection ) ex]tions = o!rs1 x is b j to ref] aga9 to ! labori\s ef=ts1 self-d5ial1 & p]petual solicitude1 to :i* ,mrs4 ,w>e 0 driv51 at home1 9 reg>d to pecuni>y means4 ,! difficulty came at la/ to its height4 ,!y f\nd x impossible to live z !y did1 & yet impossible to retr5* m ?an !y always _h4 ,we w\ld n speak ( ?is s freely1 did we n feel--beside ! light x ?r[s ^u "* & results--t x is due to ! pr(essors & m9i/]s ( all d5om9ations1 ^: en]gies are crippl$1 & p[] ( s]v+ z well z enjoy+ sadly abridg$1 by ! conflict+ facts ( unreasonable dem& & incompet5t support4 ,^? ( u :o d n suff]1 & are only grateful1 h ! bett] "r to speak = o!rs2 & we speak 9 ! memory1 & z by ! au?ority1 ( ^? two unsp>+ & noble work]s1 ^: s5tim5ts on ! subject we well "k1 & ^: p[] ( usefulness %\ld nev] h be5 hamp]$1 z x (t5 01 by ! want ( means :i* hundr$s 7 bo? able & will+ to furni%4 ,yes1 will+2 = x is no want ( g5]osity t we speak (2 7 we capable ( t inju/ice1 especially 9 ! community & ! family "u review1 we %\ld expect almo/ to he> ! repro( ( ! dep>t$ ones1 ^: gratitude 0 z int5se z _! solicitude4 ,n = !mselves did !y feel1 b = o!rs2 = ! ,s*ool1 = ! m9i/ry2 = ! /ud5ts :o 7 prev5t$ f ent]+ ! ,s*ool1 or =c$ to leave x1 by pov]ty & ! fe> ( debt1 "s ( :om 7 reta9$ only by promises ( aid1 ^: fulfilm5t co/ add$ labor & we>+ anxiety4 ,!re is bett] provision n[1 we "k2 ample provision = ^? will+ to accept x4 ,/ill are !re wants & /raits 9 ! actual m9i/ry :i* are n duly consid]$4 ,& ?is x is t is ne$$1--n g5]osity 9 ! few1 b consid]ation 9 ! _m1 & ! coop]ation ( all4 ,if ! in/itutions ( ! ,gospel are wor? hav+1 !y are wor? support+4 ,if "y m5 are expect$ to engage 9 a s]vice t becomes e ye> m p]plex$ & exact+1 !y mu/ be able to see a fair prospect ( su* remun]ation & sympa?y z w at lea/ set !m free f worldly anxiety4 ,we believe t 9 no "o way c ! m9i/ry be m /r5g!n$ & elevat$1 ?an by a consid]ation & provision1 n extravagant1 n l>ge1 n p]haps proportion$ to ! labor & rew>d ( o!r call+s1 b sure2 & suffici5t1 :ile x imposes ! necessity ( all ! ex]tion1 prud5ce1 simplicity1 & sacrifice t %\ld be expect$ & be se5 9 ! s]vice ( ,,*ri/1 to save f all depression1 & ! necessity ( o!r pursuits4 ,is ?is a digression8 ,no2 = x ent]$ into ! daily ?\ght1 & affect$ ! life1 n only ( ,h5ry ,w>e1 b equally ( h] ^: life 0 81 & ^: _s 0 always /riv+ to allay 8 fe>s1 & nurse 8 p[]s & res\rces4 ,reluctantly did %e cons5t to 8 tak+ ^u himself new burd5s & ext5d$ responsibilities1 z he did 9 #ahch1 :5 8 fa!r resign$ to him 8 active duties1 by a lib]al arrangem5t made = bo? ( !m4 ,:ile ?is makes u v grateful1 %e writes1 x involves m anxiety ab\t heal?2 b we w tru/4 ,j at ! "t ( ^! new (fices & bright] hopes on ! "o h&1 & increas$ labor & dang] on ! o!r1 a heavy affliction fell ^u !m bo?1 9 ! sudd5 dea? ( a si/]2 ! fir/ dea? 9 ?irty ye>s ( an adult memb] ( t family1 f :i* six h s9ce gone to ! _s-l&4 ,ought any consid]ations to prev5t our giv+ to o!rs ! ,*ri/ian ?\ghts & high affections call$ =? f ,mrs4 ,w>e by t ev5t8 ,!y 7 _m & com=t+4 ,"s %e ?us express$ to ,mrs4 ,all51 a surviv+ si/]4 ,! m ,i dwell ^u :at %e 01 ( :at %e 0 capable1 & h[ deeply %e suff]$ f ! m]e load ( humanity1 ! m ,i am ?ankful t ! season ( discipl9e is ov]1 ! m ,i rejoice at ! ?\ght ( :at %e is n[ enjoy+4 ,c we conceive ( a high] bliss ?an t :i* mu/ be exp]i5c$ by a s\l ( su* capacities z h]s1 :i* has /ruggl$1 z we believe1 mo/ /r5u\sly ) temptation bo? )9 & )\t :ile "h1 fre$ at la/ = ev] f ! burd5 ( ! fle%1 ?r[+ (f all ob/acles to its progress 9 a pur] /ate1 b\nd+ =w>d to p]fection8 ,o1 :o w\ld recall h] "h1 ev5 = ! be/ happ9ess :i* ?is _w c\ld give h]8 ,b we are yet too e>?ly to "p ) our treasures )\t suff]+4 ,x is meant t we %\ld suff]4 ,x is a "p1 a mo/ important object1 ( ! disp5sation2 ! inevitable consequ5ce1 too1 ( t :i* we e/eem ! be/ bless+ ( our exi/5ce1--our capacity = ! ex]cise ( ! affections4 ,x seems z if s great an ev5t z ,i feel ?is to be mu/ h great objects2 & :o c d\bt t ! improvem5t ( ^? :o suff] by x is ! pr9cipal "o8 ,i h nev] felt ?is s deeply ) reg>d to any ev5t t ev] happ5$ to me 9 life4 ,i h nev] _h s l\d1 s imp]i\s a call4 ,o my ,god1 give me grace to pr(it by ?is call1 to be made bett] by ! m5tal ex]cises to :i* x has giv5 rise6 ,at ! end ( #ahch we f9d ,m>y v happy1 9 gratitude = ! pa/ & *e]ful hopes ( ! future1 ) sob] b n sad ?\ghts ( ! rec5t sorr[4 ,cambridge1 ,decemb] #ca1 #ahch4 ,,my ,,de> ,n----3 444 ,o t bless$ ?+1 ,fai?1--fai? 9 ! tru? ( fri5d%ip6 ,among o!r *anges1 ,i h n yet gr[n old en\gh to lose my y\?ful fai? 9 ^? ,i love2 & betwe5 y & me1 ,i beg9 to suspect t ,i nev] %all4 ,i c]ta9ly d n f9d myself1 at =ty1 "o :it ne>] misan?ropy ?an ,i 0 at sixte54 ,is ?is symptomatic ( folly at ! v core8 ,or is x only ! effect ( my sup]ior good luck 9 life8 ,:atev] x may be1 ,i bless ,god = x1 = ,i f9d 9 x too mu* happ9ess to be will+ to regret x1 ev5 if x be a weakness4 99 99 99 99 99 ,janu>y #i4 ,j s f> _h ,i got1 :5 ,i f\nd my eyes s dim & my head s giddy t ,i 0 compell$ to g to b$4 ,& !re h ,i be5 mo/ ( ! "t s9ce1 q sick ) "o ( my old attacks ^u ! lungs1 :i* ?reat5$ to keep me !re ! re/ ( ! w9t]1 if x did n end 9 lung fev]1 s ob/9ate & viol5t 0 my c\gh4444 ,i h be5 liv+ 9 ! pa/ v mu* lately1 f hav+ _m ( ,h>riet's lett]s to read4 ,"s ( !m1 writt5 9 ,exet]1 h br\ght be=e my m9d p ( :om ,i _h n ?\ght = ye>s2 & circum/ances hav+ intimate connection ) ev5ts 9 :i* ,i 0 imm$iately int]e/$ at ! "t1 h unfold$ a long & beautiful page ( life be=e me1 :i* ,i seldom h opportunity to recall4 ,o t ,pa/6 :at /ores ( wisdom & happ9ess are n laid up 9 x6 ,:y %\ld x be t ! busy bu/le ( ! ,pres5t hides x s mu* f our sight8 ,%\ld we n1 by an ef=t1 give ourselves m to its retrospection1 t we may pr(it m by its tea*+8444 ,b "h we are1 de> ,n41 at ! end ( ano!r ye>1 c]ta9ly n gr[+ y\ng]1 yet ,i ?9k n at all los+ our capacity = enjoy+4 ,s f> f x1 ,i am surpris$ to f9d1 t1 :ile ) reg>d to "s ?+s my happ9ess becomes m & m e day a sob] c]ta9ty1 x does n 9 ! lea/ dim9i% my susceptibility ( enjoym5t f any new s\rce t *ances to pres5t itself f day to day4 ,9 fact1 x is a mu* m agreeable ?+ to gr[ old ?an ,i expect$ to f9d x4 ,?is is n /range1 y may say1 9 my case1 ^: bless+s increase ) e ye>4 ,truly x is s1 & ,i nev] felt x m ?an at ?is pres5t4 ,nev] s9ce ,i 0 m>ri$ c\ld ,i look back ^u a ye> ( su* fre$om f sickness 9 my own family2 nev] 0 my husb& s well = ! same l5g? ( "t 9 8 prea*+ life2 & if ,i _h no m to be grateful = ?an my preci\s baby1 :o has be5 no?+ b a com=t ev] s9ce %e 0 born1 t is en\gh = "o ye>4 ,"o sad blight has pass$ ov] u1 & x has inde$ solemniz$ our he>ts1 & made u feel1 z we nev] felt be=e1 by h[ slight a t5ure we hold all e>?ly bless+s4 ,b ^! afflictions s]ve to make u m grateful = ^? bless+s :i* _c be tak5 away4 ,o1 h[ ,i d wi% y 7 )9 talk+ di/ance1 t ,i might "k :e!r y feel z ,i d ab\t br++ up *ildr54 ,i h no com=t yet 9 my managem5t ( my little ones4 ,i h n yet got ^u ! "r track1 & beg9 to ?9k ,i nev] %all4 ,lucy comes & com=ts me a little n[ & !n1 & if ,i _h h] p[] ,i %\ld no d\bt h h] success2 b t makes all ! diff]5ce 9 ! _w4 ,y\rs ev]1 9 true love4 ,m4 ,l4 ,w4 ,ano!r ye> clos$ its record ) simil> expressions ( ?ankfulness1 ?\gh we see t x br\ght sickness & discipl9e4 ,b ^! are n spok5 ( z trials2 = ,mrs4 ,w>e appe>s 9 fact1 z well z 9 ^w1 to h caus$ sickness to *ange its "n & its face4 ,x _h become to h] a fri5d1 ^: abs5ce %e almo/ dread$4 ,x is s long s9ce ,i h _h ! slighte/ physical drawback1 t ,i _h almo/ =gott5 t ,i c\ld be o!r ?an /rong4 ,i am glad to be rem9d$ t ,i am n free f ! common lot 9 ?is respect2 9 tru?1 t ,i am to be subject to ! salut>y discipl9e :i* ! prospect ( c]ta9 suff]+ & weakness1 ) all _! possible consequ5ces1 br+s to ! s\l4 ,%e _h great fai? 9 ! relation ( ev5ts to ea* o!r4 ,%e look$ ^u no?+ 9 ! provid5ce ( ,god z ei!r accid5tal or insulat$2 e ?+ _h a design & a connection4 ,if any "o ?+ m ?an any o!r /rikes me p[]fully z ,i advance 9 life1 ga9+ confirmation f e day's exp]i5ce1 x is ! beautiful adaptation ( circum/ances to accompli% ! great object ( exi/5ce1 ea* succe$+ ev5t po9t+ to "s end :i* ! o!r ev5ts ( life h n p>ticul>ly aim$ at4 ,x seems z if we _h only to keep our vision cle>1 to f9d ar\nd u all ! tea*+ :i* we c possibly ne$ to br+ u to p]fection4 ,%e _h n mu* respect = ! common view ( circum/ances1 z secur+ all ! good & acc\nt+ = all ! evil 9 m5's conduct & "*4 ,to h] m9d1 ! responsibility 0 z great ( turn+ adv]se circum/ances to good acc\nt1 z ( us+ well ! mo/ favor+ & prosp]\s condition4 ,yet "h %e dealt m sev]ely ) h]self ?an ) any "o else2 too sev]ely sometimes1 z may be ! case ) all consci5ti\s suff]]s :o are at ! same "t consci5ti\s work]s4 ,!y exact too mu* ( _! own frames4 ,!y make too little all[ance = ^? natural limits & occasional weaknesses1 = :i* _m m9ds all[ too mu*4 ,mo/ ( u suff] ! body to be ma/]1 :]e x %\ld be s]vant2 :ile !y ( :om we speak are apt to =get t ! body w sometimes rule1 & affect ! m9d unfavorably yet helplessly4 ,!re are v>i\s intimations1 "s ( :i* we h se5 already1 t ,mrs4 ,w>e 0 n free f all errors or dang]s ( ?is k9d1 ?\gh %e soon detect$ !m4 ,aft] a %ort visit to ,mrs4 ,pa9e1 9 #ahci1 %e says ( x3 ,i did enjoy my visit to y hugely2 ,i d enjoy x n[ ev5 m2 = ,i 0 fight+ all ! "t ) an evil demon )9 9 ! %ape ( an uncommonly viol5t attack ( ',m>y ,pick>dism1' mak+ me feel t ,i might z well be out ( ! _w z 9 x4 ,b t is ov]2 & ,i h le>nt f x t our m9ds are m frequ5tly "u ! control ( our physique1 ?an we1 9 our pride1 are v will+ to admit4 ,! season ( exemption & favor cont9ues2 n )\t qualifications & exceptions1 z o!rs might ?9k !m1 b )\t s]i\s int]ruption to ! labors or joys ( ,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,w>e4 ,& we see ! effect ( x 9 ! pleasant & playful mood ( ! next lett]4 ,cambridge1 ,janu>y #a1 #ahda1 #a4bj o'clock1 ,a4,m4 ,,my ,,de> ,n----3 ,!re is "s diff]5ce truly betwe5 a solit>y sp9/] sitt+ 9 h] quiet p>lor ) h] desk be=e h]1 p5 9 h&1 )\t a %ad[ ( a hope or fe> ( int]ruption f any dem& ( dome/ic duty or pleasure1 & ! "m ( sev5 *ildr51 "o ( !m a mo/ agreeable y\? ( six mon?s1 ) a husb& & nurse to boot1 to be look$ aft] & tak5 c>e (4 ,= in/ance1 aft] a va9 attempt to get all ! new ye>'s pres5ts f9i%$ & array$ 9 due ord] be=e ! clock %\ld /rike twelve ^u ! #ca/ ( ,decemb]1 #ahdj1 ,i 0 oblig$ at ! fir/ date to cont5t myself ) j record+ ! h\r ) "o h&1 :ile ! o!r held 9 durance ! two h&s ( ! above-nam$ y\?1 :o _h be5 = ! previ\s h\r ex]cis+ 8 utmo/ p[] ( fasc9at+ bl&i%m5t to attract & monopolize my att5tion4 ,& n[ ,i mu/ re-date1 ,"o o'clock1 ,p4 ,m41 ,janu>y #c;d1 be+ my v fir/ mom5t1 s9ce ! a=esaid date1 t ,i c\ld 9 consci5ce give to ! luxuri\s employm5t ( writ+ to y4 ,i ?9k ! said little 7or1 r1 l>ge7 g5tleman _h a /rong desire to write to y himself1 or he w\ld n h be5 s rem>kably wakeful ^u t occasion2 b ,i *ose to enact ! "p ( ! dog 9 ! mang]1--if ,i c\ld n d x myself1 ,i w\ld n let him4 ,he is a mo/ bewit*+ creature1 by ! way1 & !re is no tell+ :at y may h lo/ by my selfi%ness4 ,no?+ c be sweet] ?an a heal?y1 bright *ild ( 8 age2 !re is c]ta9ly some?+ f> beyond ! m]e animal 9 ! enjoym5t we d]ive f su* a creature4 ,i am sometimes tempt$1 :5 ,i wat* ! animat$ expression ( 8 little visage1 to g all l5g?s ) ! mod]n spirituali/s1 & believe t !re is a high] s5se & full] k ( ! deep ?+s ( heav5 inclos$ 9 t little casket n[1 ?an c be f\nd 9 x aft] ! wisdom ( ! _w has ent]$ !re4444 ,o1 h[ ! bus9ess ( life ?ick5s z "o goes onw>d6 ,i sometimes wi% ,i knew :e!r !re is ev] to be su* a ?+ z re/ 9 ?is life = me1 :]e9 to brea! a little m freely1 & feel x "r to =get1 = a mom5t at lea/1 ! c>e ( ! e>?ly4 ,or ,i %\ld l /ill bett] to "k h[ f> x is practicable to keep "o's m9d at ease1 & yet d all t ought to be done4 ,x does n seem z if x c\ld h be5 int5d$ t we %\ld be ! c>eworn drudges t mo/ ( u are1 h>dly giv+ ourselves "t to enjoy ! sight ( ! beautiful _w ar\nd u1 or "k any ?+ ( t )9 u4 ,i h (t5 great misgiv+s ^u ! subject1 mu* d\bt+ :e!r x is n1 aft] all1 m my bad managem5t ?an ! necessity ( ! case1 :i* makes me s press$ f want ( "t to d :at ,i wi%4 ,b ,i h look$ ar\nd & )9 9 va9 = a rem$y = ! evil4 ,i am j :]e ,i 0 a ye> ago1 only a little m involv$ f hav+ "o *ild m1 & t "o t _c be t5d$ by any "o :o is n tol]ably sizable h]self4 ,?is is n z x %\ld be1 7n my baby1 b my incessant occupation17 & ,i feel ! evil effect ^u my intellectual & physical too1--! "o becomes utt]ly empty1 ! o!r too cr[d$4 ,?\ght is free1 happily1 b "o uses up ! mat]ial = ?\ght if n refre%$ by outw>d subjects occasionally2 or r "o's ?\ghts take too uni=m a track1 & become morbid4 ,i %\ld l to peep into "s o!r p]son's m9d & see h[ ! l& lies2 "o is apt to ?9k t no "o is z wick$ z himself1 b p]haps ! same causes lead to ! same results4 ,x w\ld be a com=t to "k1 ^u ! old pr9ciple1 t 'mis]y loves company4' ,y\rs1 ,,m>y4 ,a *ange 0 approa*+4 ,! favor$ int]val _h be5 unusually long1 & an am\nt ( "w _h be5 accompli%$ ( :i* we attempt n to give an idea4 ,x _h be5 to ,mrs4 ,w>e1 z to h] husb&1 a gold5 age1 9 vigor1 labor1 & enjoym5t4 ,9 ! family1 ! s*ool1 & ! community1 bo? 7 busy1 bo? happy4 ,!re 0 no dim9ution ( c>e1 r an increase ) an increas+ family1 unnumb]$ visitors1 & int]ruptions1 engagem5ts1 & claims1 ( e possible k9d4 ,b all ?is w5t on easily & naturally4 ,a casual obs]v] w\ld n be likely to see t !re 0 mu* done1 or to be done4 ,!re 0 no hurry1 no app>5t ex]tion4 ,ea* call] or claimant 0 receiv$ s quietly1 & li/5$ to s pati5tly1 t he might h ?\ght he 0 ! only "o1 or ! favor$4 ,to be sure1 ,mrs4 ,w>e felt1 z we h se51 t !re 0 no su* ?+ z re/1 nor "t to d ! half t %e w\ld4 ,b v few saw ! feel+1 & x prev5t$ nei!r h] own s]5ity nor o!rs' enjoym5t4 ,v grateful did %e feel = h] husb&'s cont9u$ heal? & active usefulness4 ,at ! same "t1 we c see t h] exp]i5c$ eye & wat*ful he>t discov]$ symptoms ( com+ *ange1--z 9 passages ( h] lett]s ( diff]5t dates4 ,decemb] #ca1 #ahda4 ,i look at my husb& ) a sort ( wond]1 to f9d t ano!r :ole ye> has pass$ )\t any s]i\s consequ5ces to 8 heal?4 ,i d>e n look =w>d = him1 = x seems presumption to expect t he c be long exempt4 ,8 duties are v p]plex+ f _! v>iety1 & ,i ?9k ! effect ^u 8 sy/em1 by h>ass+ 8 m9d1 is really worse ?an a great] am\nt ( labor w\ld be ^u a m conc5trat$ & satisfactory object4 ,he is ! great] "p ( ! "t 9 t dragg+1 half-sick /ate1 :i* leaves nei!r fre$om ( m9d nor com=t ( body4 ,i (t5 ?9k he c\ld be happi]1 & d 9 fact m good1 9 a p>i%1 ?an "h2 & 7 x n t m5 at 8 "t ( life get to be too old-fa%ion$ & 'cons]vative1' z ! phrase is1 to suit ! ris+ g5]ation1 ,i %\ld hope he might yet end 8 days 9 ! vocation :i* he be/ loves4 ,i w\ld n h y suspect me ( a discont5t$ _s2 b my he>t leaps at ! idea ( p>i%-meet+s 9 my own p>lor1 & o!r pa/ore5 enjoym5ts4 ,b ,i h no c>e ab\t ! future1 o!r ?an t :i* "o mu/ h1--a desire to fulfil ! duties :i* x may br+4 99 99 99 99 99 ,janu>y #af1 #ahdb4 ,i h be5 prev5t$ by all sorts ( ?+s f f9i%+ ?is2 x is n wor? :ile to enum]ate !m4 ,i w only say1 t = ! la/ =tnight ,i h _h little ?\ght or "t = any ?+ b prep>+ my husb& = a six weeks' abs5ce4 ,n t ,i _h s v mu* to d = him 7al?\gh x is a diff]5t ?+ to poor folks1 to live :]e _! clo!s c be m5d$ e day1 or mu/ g )\t m5d+ = six weeks72 b he has be5 v unwell lately1 & ,i am s little accu/om$ to ! idea ( 8 go+ away sick )\t go+ ) him1 t ,i f\nd x v h>d to br+ my m9d to submit to x4 ,i did n feel q cle> :e!r x w\ld be "r to let him g1 9 ! hope t *ange ( sc5e & occupation w\ld d him good1 or to prev5t x f fe> t ! necessity ( ! case w\ld tempt him to ex]t himself1 :e!r he 0 able or n4 ,h[ev]1 he has gone2 & w5t too ^u ! anniv]s>y ( de> ,dr4 ,foll5's loss4 ,b ,i h he>d ( 8 safe arrival 9 pretty good case1 & ,i hope = ! be/4 ,yet ,i am a v baby at ! prospect ( s long a sep>ation4 ,truly "o's affections d n become blunt$ by age1--d !y8 ,:at h] affections 7 appe>s 9 ! lett] :i* %e _h already writt5 to h] husb&1--writt5 9 fact ! v night ( ! day he left h]2 = h] he>t 0 full4 ,its quick1 ke5 s5sibilities told h] t ?is 0 m ?an a common p>t+4 ,seldom _h ,mr4 ,w>e gone f home s9ce !y 7 m>ri$1 )\t be+ sick1 or )\t h] go+ to him4 ,& ?\gh %e _h n ! lea/ sup]/ition1 nor ev5 indulg$ gloomy appreh5sions1 %e held h]self ready = ! wor/1 & saw reason at ?is "t to expect "s decid$ result f su* a j\rney 9 mid-w9t]1 ) all t _h prec$$ x4 ,be=e %e slept1 !re=e1 %e gave utt]ance to ! emotions--pray]s & bless+s we might call !m--:i* 7 ye>n+ )9 h]4 ,cambridge1 ,janu>y #ab1 #ahdb1 #a_/b pa/ #aa4 ,,de> ,,h5ry3-- ,& y are really gone6 ,& not)/&+ ,i h look$ =w>d to ?is mom5t = s long a "t1 &1 z ,i ?\ght1 realiz$ ov] & ov] aga9 all t ,i %\ld feel :5 x %\ld arrive1 ,i am a%am$ to f9d h[ little all my anticipations h prep>$ me = x4 ,i d n mean to ov]:elm y ) an outp\r+ ( all my woman's weakness1 b ,i c\ld n g to b$ )\t say+1 ',good night to y1 de>e/4' ,i h a quiet fai? t all is well ) y1 & ,i h mu* hope t ?is exp$ition w result 9 good to y\r m9d & body bo?4 ,i c say f my he>t1 ',god spe$ y6' ,& ! ?\ght t ,8 c>e is ov] y reconciles me to hav+ y )drawn f m9e1 z no?+ else c\ld d4 ,i feel t1 9 y\r abs5ce1 great responsibilities re/ ^u me1 & ,i _c !re=e g to my solit>y *amb] = ! fir/ "t )\t _m solemn & affect+ ?\ghts4 ,b my hopes are bright1 & my confid5ce un%ak52 & ,i c s5d my m9d =w>d ) a *e]ful tru/1 al?\gh ! te> w come to my eye4 ,s good night1 aga94 ,i "k y\r ?\ghts are ) me1 z m9e ) y1 & t ?is union 9 ! _s c nev] cease1 :atev] may betide our outw>d be+4 99 99 99 99 99 ,friday ,ev5+1 #ad?4 ,?anks = y\r lett]1--& _m mo/ grateful ?anks to ! ,giv] ( all good = y\r safety6 ,x c\ld n be b t ! recollection ( ! pa/ %\ld be pres5t to our m9ds2 x 0 good t x %\ld be s1 & ,i tru/ x has n be5 )\t great bless+ to our s\ls4 ,= myself1 ,i almo/ fe>$ t ,i 0 a little sup]/iti\s1 or r incl9$ to =ebode evil2 = ,i feel s mu* t we h be5 peculi>ly bless$ 9 hav+ s _m times _h ?reat5$ evils av]t$1 t1 ^u e new exposure1 ,i f9d ,i am incl9$ to ?9k x is presumption to expect exemption ?is "t2 & ,i nev] felt ?is m /rongly ?an n[4 ,i hope ,i h behav$ well outw>dly4 ,i h tri$ to d s1 b ! /ruggle has be5 v great4 ,?is exp]i5ce is a new lesson ( tru/ & com=t = u4 ,may x h its due influ5ce6 ,f>ewell4 ,bless+s be ) y6 ,m4 ,l4 ,,w>e4 ,! result ( ! visit to ,new ,york is kn[n4 ,mrs4 ,w>e _h n ov]-e/imat$ ! importance ( ! p]iod4 ,x 0 a crisis4 ,! second ,sunday ( h] husb&'s abs5ce 0 ! la/ "t t he ev] attempt$ to prea*4 ,he 0 attack$ 9 ! pulpit ) ble$+1 z he suppos$ f ! lungs1 & did n f9i% ! s]vice4 ,x 0 ! end ( 8 c>e] z a prea*]1 & ! ext9ction ( _m bright hopes 9 ^? unit$ m9ds & devot$ he>ts4 ,= to ,mrs4 ,w>e1 also1 0 ?is a disappo9tm5t ( *]i%$ purposes1 n simply z 8 wife1 b f h] own f]vid int]e/ 9 ! ,*ri/ian m9i/ry1 & h] sympa?y ) ! aspirations & ! /ruggles ( ^? engag$1 or ab\t to engage1 9 ?is great "w4 ,h] acc\nt ( ! *ange1 & o!r *anges t foll[$1 clos+ ! ,cambridge life1 may be be/ giv5 9 extracts f v>i\s lett]s1 :i* w con/itute a j\rnal ( ! "t4 ,m>*1 #ahdb4 ,mr4 ,w>e _h n be5 well = two mon?s previ\s to 8 go+ to ,new ,york2 no difficulty ^u ! lungs1--simply out ( ord] f too close & we>isome att5tion to a vexati\s v>iety ( duty1 hav+ no re/1 & n "t en\gh to d any ?+ well4 ,8 sy/em seem$ dis>rang$1 & he ?\ght he %\ld be mo/ b5efit$ by go+ away1 *ang+ ! sc5e entirely1 & obta9+ re/ to m9d & body4 ,he w5t4 ,e lett] spoke ( improvem5t1 & ,i _h made up my m9d1 t1 9 spite ( all my fe>s1 he 0 do+ ! be/ possible ?+4 ,s ,i said to 8 fa!r on ,sunday ev5+2 & on ,monday ,i receiv$ 8 lett]1 tell+ me ( 8 hav+ be5 tak5 9 *ur* ) rais+ blood4 ,( c\rse ,i w5t imm$iately to him1 arriv+ at 8 lodg+s at n9e1 ,tuesday morn+4 ,! wea!r 0 v mild1 & ! unc]ta9ty ( its cont9u+ s made me anxi\s to get him home4 ,aft] "s reluctance on ! "p ( 8 physician _h be5 ov]come1 we decid$ to return t day4 ,s1 aft] sp5d+ eight h\rs 9 ,new ,york1 ,i turn$ my face homew>d1 & 9 =ty h\rs aft] leav+ my own door l&$ at x ) my preci\s *>ge1 none ! worse = ! j\rney4 ,y may suppose x all seem$ a dream to me4 ,x 01 h[ev]1 a sad reality to him1 a v sad disappo9tm5t4444 ,y\r picture ( 're/' is a beautiful vision1--"o :i* _m ( our fri5ds h br\ght be=e our eyes at ?is "t4 ,b :at c a man d1 ) sev5 *ildr51 & only 8 own h&s to dep5d ^u8 ,i scruple n to say1 t a t5-foot h\se1 & bread & wat] diet1 ) ! s5se ( re/ to him1 w\ld be a luxury1 & ,i tru/ "s door w be op5$ to u by :i* we %all obta9 x4 ,n[ he is ti$1 b\nd h& & foot2 & if he does n die 9 ! bonds1 x is m ?an any "o has a "r to calculate ^u4 ,h[ v>i\s ! trials ( life6 & h[ difficult always to feel t ela/icity ( _s :i* is ne$ful to make "o z *e]ful z we ought to be at all times6 99 99 99 99 99 ,may #a1 #ahdb4 ,y w he> 9 a few days ( ! *ange t has come to u4 ,i h be5 entirely satisfi$1 ev] s9ce la/ ,octob]1 t x mu/ come to ?is1 & ,i felt1 ! soon] ,h5ry /opp$1 ! bett] = him4 ,b ! utt] unc]ta9ty z to ! future support ( su* a l>ge family1 & a reluctance to leave 8 fa!r's side 9 8 decl9+ ye>s1 important z he is to 8 p>5t's com=t1 c\ld n b make him delib]ate4444 ,& n[1 de> ,nancy1 we are once m afloat on ! _w's wide sea4 ,y w easily guess h[ mu* !re is ( deep1 s\l-/irr+ emotion 9 all ?is1 & h[ mu* m !re mu/ be be=e we quit = ev] our de>ly lov$ home1 r5d]$ d\bly de> by ! h\rs ( sickness & sacr$ sorr[ exp]i5c$ 9 x4 ,:at w be our de/9ation1 ,i "k n4 ,we h "s plans1 b ! execution ( any mu/ dep5d ^u cont+5cies n[ hidd5 f u4 ,! fir/ ?+ to be ?\ght ( is ,mr4 ,w>e's re/oration to heal?2 & _h we ! means1 ,i %\ld l to sp5d a week or two 9 rid+ ab\t home1 or 9 little excursions1 giv+ him ! opportunity ( do+ :at he c\ld by conv]sation = ! class ab\t to leave ! ,s*ool4 ,%\ld he ev] get well1 !re are "s possible projects already pres5t$ :i* w\ld support u1 b 9 ! mean "t all is d>k1--t is1 we "k no?+ ab\t x4 ,i am satisfi$ t we h done "r1 & ,i am ready = ! consequ5ces1 be !y :at !y may4 ,i am n z /rong z ,i once 0 to meet h>d labor1 b ,i am will+ to "w to ! ext5t ( my ability2 & ,i "k t no am\nt ( bodily labor c be s we>isome z ! m5tal /ruggle ( ! la/ two ye>s4 ,i feel z if ,i c\ld meet any ?+ bett] ?an see+ my husb& decl9+2 c he only be sp>$1 no matt] :at comes4 ,d n ?9k t ,i am unm9dful ( ! difficulties :i* pov]ty br+s1--! h9drances to ! satisfactory education ( *ildr51 ! loss ( intellectual privileges1 & ! we> & te> to ! _s by ! unc]ta9ties ( daily supply = ev5 ! necess>y wants ( life4 ,i und]/& x all2 & ,i "k t 9 all !re is useful discipl9e = heav51 & ,i ?9k = my *ildr51 t1 if ! means ( "o k9d ( education are d5i$ !m1 !y may 9 o!r ways ga9 ! ess5tials = spiritual life m readily4 ,i _c di/ru/ or d\bt ! good provid5ce ( ,god "u all circum/ances2 h[ c ,i1 aft] ! exp]i5ce ,i h _h 9 life8444 ,if ,mr4 ,w>e & ,i %\ld ride (f any:]e1 x w probably be t[>ds ,worce/]4 ,o ! money1 ! money6 :at c be done )\t money6 ,i h writt5 to ! end ( my pap]1 & all ab\t self2 b ,i h mu* to say ab\t o!r ?+s4 99 99 99 99 99 ,may #h1 #ahdb4 ,i h tri$ 9 va91 de> ,emma1 to f9d "t & ability to answ] y\r k9d notes1 = ,i h long$ to tell y some?+ ( ! mighty movem5t :i* has be5 go+ on )9 our little dome/ic _w1 z well z to satisfy y ( ,mr4 ,w>e's gradual progress t[>ds heal?4 ,b = ! fir/ ?ree weeks ( 8 sickness1 8 case dem&$ my undivid$ att5tion2 & s9ce ! day he wrote 8 lett] ( resignation1 ,i h be51 ) ! exception ( ?ree 'poor days1' sick myself4 ,n made sick by t fact1 ,i beg y to und]/&1--unless ! reaction ( relief f anxiety might make "o sick1 & ! exhil>ation consequ5t ^u x act too p[]fully ^u ! n]v\s sy/em4 ,x is inde$ an unspeakable relief to my m9d1 & ,i c\ld see t x 0 also to ,h5ry1 = he began to improve at once :5 ! de$ 0 done4 ,x is a great /ep1 at our "t ( life1 ) s l>ge a family1 & s little sub/antial heal? 9 ! act+ portion ( x1 to be laun*$ =? ^u ! wide _w to obta9 a support we "k n h[4 ,b ( :at use is exp]i5ce1 ( :at value is fai?1 if !y _c enable "o to meet ! *anges ( life )\t fe>8444 ,i h be5 q sick1 hav+ _h a sudd5 & sev]e attack ?reat5+ fev]4 ,i felt = a little :ile z if ,i c\ld n h "o ( my long sicknesses j at ?is juncture1 z if ,i 0 = once too important a p]son to be laid ^u ! %elf1 & ,i nev] 0 m truly ?ankful ?an :5 ,i f\nd myself reliev$ by ! fir/ applications4 ,i h n yet be5 d[n /airs1 b expect to ride to-morr[1 if x is pleasant4 ,! break+ up w be sev]e1 ,i "k2 b ,i ?9k ,i am prep>$ = x4 ,x is n ! fir/ "t t ! /rong ties :i* b9d me always to my home h be5 sev]$4 ,& al?\gh ,i h nev] be=e felt s mu* t my home 0 inde$ my own creation1 ! ?\ght t x is "r to leave x1 & ! oppression ( _s :i* ! la/ two ye>s h witness$ "h1 reconcile me to all ! suff]+ 9 prospect4 ,don't ?9k me a romanc]1 t ,i c feel joy\s :5 ,i "k n h[ we are to be f$ & clo!d4 ,if ,god gives me /r5g?1 ,i am will+ to "w1 & pref] t my *ildr5 %\ld be oblig$ to2 & ,i h no fe>s b t1 if we d ! be/ we c1 ,god w take c>e ( u4 ,he has _m ag5ts ( m]cy4 ,mr4 ,w>e 0 able to rema9 9 (fice ! re/ ( ! !ological t]m1 & to c>ry ?r\gh ! graduat+ class1 ) :om 8 la/ ex]cises 7 deeply affect+4 ,v soon aft] ?is1 9 ! summ] ( #ahdb1 ! family left ,cambridge2 hav+ fix$ ^u ,fram+ham1 ,mass41 z _! place ( retreat1 aft] look+ at _m places1 & weigh+ all consid]ations ( position & exp5se4 ,( ! la/ days 9 ,cambridge1 we h obta9$ ! recollections ( _! olde/ son1 himself a memb] ( ! class j spok5 (1 z ! la/ t enjoy$ ! in/ruction & b5$iction ( 8 fa!r4 ,we give ! acc\nt 9 8 own un/udi$ words4 ,t la/ summ] 0 a v pleasant "o1 z ,i rememb] x4 ,?+s 7 v mu* z ev]2 if any ?+1 ! little social ga!r+s ( neighbors 7 m frequ5t1 z all felt !y mu/ be few4 ,! drives ) fa!r to f9d a place1 ! selection ( ,fram+ham1 ! pilgrimages !re1 occupi$ a good deal ( ! "t1 z also ! gradual prep>ation1 & ! _m adieus4 ,! 'break+ up' 0 "o ( ! grave/ trials ( "m's life4 ,?or\ghly conv9c$ ( its necessity1 look+ =w>d to x z a relief 9 all ways1 yet ! :ole summ] 0 t+$ by ! ?\ght ( x4 ,i rememb] long talks2 "o 9 p>ticul>1 9 :i* %e drew ne>] to me & ,i to h]4 ,i ?9k t1 feel+ oblig$ to keep up be=e fa!r1 %e ye>n$ to confide 9 u4 ,:5 x came to ! la/1 x 0 h>d4 ,! *ildr5 & all 7 gone4 ,"m1 fa!r1 & ,i 7 left1 & ,i 0 to be left1 = ,i 0 j go+ into ! _w myself4 ,! wagon 0 at ! door4 ,fa!r got 91 m]ely wr++ my h&1 b mo/ deeply mov$4 ,i c\ld see x & feel x4 ,if he _h spok51 x w\ld h be5 m ?an he c\ld be>4 ,i nev] till t mom5t imag9$1 s fev]i% _h be5 8 desire to get away1 h[ mu* 8 he>t 0 9 t spot4 ,"m 0 beh9d1 & _h got d[n "o /ep1 :5 %e turn$ r\nd & ?rew h] arms ab\t my neck1 & !re we /ood4 ,x 0 "o ( ! mom5ts ( life4 ',god bless y1 my *ild6' ,i h he>d h] say x _m times1 b x nev] meant m4 ,fa!r c\ld n be> x4 ,he urg$ h] away2 ! horse />t$ at 8 quick ^w2 ,i 0 alone1--& t *apt] ( life 0 end$6 ,we nev] all ?ree ( u ent]$ ,cambridge toge!r aga91 until ! night t "m & ,i br\ght ) u f ,fram+ham '! la/ ( e>?4' ,s9ce writ+ ?is1 ,i h *anc$ ^u fa!r's fir/ lett] aft]w>d4 ,he says3 ',! /ruggle at ! la/ mom5t 0 a h>d "o2 b we got compos$ aft] a :ile1 & !n f\nd ourselves excessively ov]come ) we>9ess4' ,,xii4 ,,life ,,9 ,,fram+ham4 ,x is no cause ( regret t ! n>rative ( a m>ri$ woman's life _c be sep>at$ f t ( h] husb&4 ,! biograph] may regret ! necessity ( ref]r+ to famili> facts1 & sometimes us+ mat]ials already 9 possession ( ! public4 ,b m sorry %\ld we be if ! hi/ory ( ! wife c\ld be drawn out by itself2 especially t hi/ory ( e-day life1 & idea ( ! inn] be+1 :i* we are attempt+ to give4 ,few wom51 9 our community1 & ) troops ( fri5ds1 h be5 m ?r[n ^u !mselves at an e>ly age1 or h l$ a m truly s+le life until life's m]idian1 ?an did ,m>y ,pick>d4 ,b ! mom5t %e became ,m>y ,w>e %e liv$ = ano!r1--z unres]v$ly & devot$ly z woman ev] did4 ,pr9ciple & affection alone w\ld h prompt$ ?is1 z a pleasure2 ! circum/ances 9 :i* %e 0 plac$1 f fir/ to la/1 made x a duty1 & /ill a delight4 ,& m & m1 z ye>s pass$1 did ! duty & ! delight gr[1 t+$ only by ! sad ?\ght ( 8 premature failure & sore disappo9tm5t4 ,x1 is a small trial to be summon$ f "o sph]e ( duty to ano!r2 ev5 if x co/ ! disruption ( _m ties1 /ill if x be a call ( duty1 ) cont9u$ p[] ( activity & usefulness1 x is n to be call$ a h>d%ip4 ,x surely is no evil1 b r a privilege1 = ! fai?ful labor] to die at 8 po/1 ) 8 h>ness on4 ,b to die & yet to live1 to h "o's *os5 "w brok5 (f = ev]1 & ! /rong1 dis9t]e/$ love ( labor =bidd5 all ex]cise1 ) ! prospect ( ye>s ( helplessness at ! be/1 p]haps protract$ suff]+ & a dep5d5t family1--?is is trial1 call+ = z mu* ( =titude & fai? z humanity (t5 requires4 ,x may be p>tiality :i* leads u to d\bt :e!r !re 0 ev] m ( =titude & fai?1 9 simil> condition1 ?an 9 ! he>ts ( ,h5ry & ,m>y ,w>e1 z !y turn$ _! back ^u ! fond sc5es ( _! labor1 &1 ) ! unavoidable consci\sness ( high qualification z well z affection1 )drew f all public s]vice & peculi> tru/4 ,nor is x too mu* to assume1 t1 :ile on him press$ mo/ heavily ! burd5 ( responsibility & ! grief ( incapacity1 x 0 to ! wife & ! "m t !re came mo/ l\dly ! call = ex]tion1 = *e]ful c\rage1 a wise dilig5ce1 & unfalt]+ tru/4 ,! village to :i* !y retir$ 0 *os5 p>tly = its seclusion comb9$ ) conv5i5ce1 & p>tly = economy4 ,9 relation to ! la/1 _! anxieties 7 n[ reliev$ by a g5]\s contribution f fri5ds1 :om x w\ld h be5 wrong to refuse2 ?\gh simil> (f]s _h be5 made & decl9$ be=e1 z we ought to h said 9 ref]r+ to _! emb>rassm5ts4 ,s long z !re 0 ! p[] ( ex]tion1 or a reasonable hope ( x1 ,mr4 ,w>e c\ld n br+ himself to accept any m]e favors ( ?is k9d1--seldom s grateful z a fair requital = will+ s]vice & ackn[l$g$ ability4 ,b n[ t ! p[] ( ex]tion 0 susp5d$1 duty to ^? ne>e/1 z well z gratitude to p]sev]+ b5efactors1 made him m ?an will+4 ,i h got rid1 ?r\gh ! k9dness ( excell5t fri5ds1 ( all di/ressful anxiety = ! liv+ ( my family2 ,i c leave !m 9 comp>ative peace2 9 t s5se1 my h\se is set 9 ord]4 ,?us did ,mr4 ,w>e write to 8 bro!r ,john1 9 t e>ne/ lett] 9 :i* he begs him1 z a physician1 to deal frankly ) him1 & tell him ! :ole tru? z to ! probability ( 8 recov]y or decl9e4 ,& ?is 0 ! /ate ( m9d 9 :i* ! life at ,fram+ham began1 & cont9u$ to ! end1--a /ate ( susp5se1 entire unc]ta9ty1 unwill+ness to be idle1 b inability to ent] confid5tly ^u any plan1 or engage vigor\sly 9 any employm5t4 ,!re is little1 !re=e1 to be told ( ?is p]iod1 9 reg>d to occupation or incid5t4 ,we c only %[ 9 :at _s ,mrs4 ,w>e met ?is new trial1--to _m m9ds ! h>de/ ( all1--liv+ )\t an object1 yet /riv+ to live *e]fully1 busily1 & pr(itably4 ,?is may be %[n be/ by giv+ brief extracts f h] lett]s1 writt5 dur+ ! fir/ season ( _! resid5ce !re4 ,july #cj1 #ahdb4 ,my de> ,mrs4 ,f----3 ,y w be glad to "k t we f9d ourselves v com=table "h4 ,! h\se is exce$+ly well adapt$ to our purpose2 & ?\gh ! ext]nals ( life are comp>atively small matt]s ) respect to happ9ess1 9 heal?1 !re are cases ( sickness 9 :i* !y mu/ be ( importance4 ,x is a great com=t to me1 9 ! pres5t case1 t our outw>d appliances are su* z w aid ! *ief object = :i* we h made ?is *ange4 ,i feel deeply t x is an exp]im5t1 &1 l all human plans1 has "s disadvantages2 b ,i w 'hope on1 hope ev]1' believ+ z ,i d t x 0 "r to try x4 ,yet y "k 7none bett]7 h[ mu* "o has to feel 9 ! detail ( life1 :5 s mu* is at /ake4 ,o1 :y c we n1 ) full fai? & p]fect peace1 ca/ all our c>e ^u ,him1 :o inde$ c>e? = u m ?an we c c>e = any be+8 ,i c = ! mo/ "p feel ?is1 b x is n easy to keep always on ! m\nt4444 ,al?\gh ,i realize ! *ange1 & fully appreciate all ,i h left beh9d1 ,i am p]fectly amaz$ to f9d h[ obtuse my feel+s are4 ,i c\ld almo/ fancy ,i did n love my fri5ds z well z ,i ?\ght ,i did1 s entirely d ,i f9d myself absorb$ by my new duties & occupations1 ) sc>cely a ?\ght = any ?+ b ! be/ accompli%m5t ( my imm$iate bus9ess1--my husb&'s com=t & improvem5t4 ,:at a bless$ p[] ( adaptation is giv5 u1 to enable u to meet ! v>ieties ( life6 ,! fact is1 9 our case1 nev] c\ld s great a movem5t h be5 made "u m favorable circum/ances2 &1 ) s _m bless+s ab\t our pa?1 x w\ld be /range inde$ if we c\ld f9d place = regret4 99 99 99 99 99 ,augu/ #ba1 #ahdb4 ,my de> ,n----3 ,i beg9 to ?9k ,i %all n ga9 mu* 9 ! way ( leisure by ?is *ange4 ,= al?\gh !re is n ! same necessity = att5d+ to extrane\s matt]s t !re 0 9 ,cambridge1 s mu* m ( ! detail ( affairs necess>ily passes ?r\gh my h&s1 t ,i f9d ! days all too %ort to accompli% half ,i %\ld l to d4 ,i _c give up ! hope1 & inde$ expectation1 t ! mode ( life we h adopt$ w prove good = ,mr4 ,w>e2 & z ,i view x ne>]1 s _m ( :at ,i _h anticipat$ z h9drances vani% into ?9 air1 t ,i am m ?an ev] satisfi$ ) ! =m ( ! exp]im5t4 ,( c\rse1 ,i expect to put my %\ld] to ! daily :eel 9 a new l9e ( labor1 & h fully calculat$ ! co/4 ,i only hope my heal? & /r5g? w cont9ue z good z !y n[ are1 & ,i %all d v well4 ,i nev] %r9k f labor ( any k9d4444 ,our *ildr5 are mu* pleas$ ) ! place & its occupations2 & ,i hope to give !m by ! *ange ! opportunity ( acquir+ ! k ( _m ?+s1 & ex]cis+ "s ( ! virtues = :i* !y _h no *ance 9 _! =m] mode ( life4444 ,i h a treasure ( a woman1 :o has be5 ) me ne>ly two ye>s1 b\nd to me & m9e by ! /ronge/ affection1 k9d1 capable1 & ref9$2 p>ticul>ly pleas$ ) be+ 'mon>* ( all %e surveys' 9 ! kit*51 & s well in=m$ & respectful1 t x is a pleasure to me to associate ) h] z ,i am oblig$ to 9 "w1 & a com=t 9 ! p]fect security ,i feel 9 h] int]c\rse ) my *ildr54 ,x is n ! lea/ ( my bless+s1 t j su* an "o %\ld h be5 ) me at ?is crisis4 ,?is m5tion ( ! fai?ful dome/ic1 our ,m>g>et1 z %e 0 always call$1 :o liv$ ) ,mrs4 ,w>e sev5 ye>s1 discloses ano!r trait ( "*1 m r>e ?an x %\ld be4 ,! compla9ts t we con/antly he> ( ! selfi%ness & plague ( s]vants1 dem& m consid]ation ?an !y usually receive4 ,! :ole matt] ( dome/ic s]vice is becom+ a s]i\s "o4 ,ev5 :]e x is :olly free1 x affects mat]ially ! com=t ( life1 & ex]ts an influ5ce on ! "* ( bo? ! employ]s & ! employ$4 ,are ! employ]s or ! employ$ mo/ 9 fault8 ,?is is ! "o "q :i* %\ld be delib]ately weigh$1 in/ead ( be+ dismiss$ ) a bur/ ( passion or a smile ( self-complac5cy4 ,!re are wom5 :o h little or no tr\ble ) _! s]vants1--:o reta9 !m long1 secure _! confid5ce = life1 obta9 f !m bett] s]vice ?an _m :o pay m & exact m1 & repose 9 !m ! mo/ important tru/s4 ,to ?is class we believe ,mrs4 ,w>e to h belong$4 ,& ! secret ( h] success we suppose to h be5 simply ?is3 %e look$ ^u s]vants z ( ! same species ) h]self2 creatures ( l passions & l s5sibilities2 z liable to be selfi%1 unreasonable1 & easily (f5d$1 z ^? :om !y s]ve1 b n m2 hav+ equal claim ^u k9d consid]ation1 & a p]fect "r to feel w\nd$ & wrong$1 if dealt ) unju/ly4 ,on ?is subject ,mrs4 ,w>e seems to h ask$ h]self ^! two que/ions3 ,:y d s _m p1 :o are nev] h>% or ill-natur$ t[>d any "o else1 ?9k no?+ ( be+ h>% & ill-natur$ t[>d _! dome/ics8 ,& :y d _m s\nd & zeal\s religioni/s =get to c>ry any ( _! religion into _! int]c\rse & deal+s ) s]vants8 ,x w\ld n h be5 easy1 we ?9k1 to disc]n any diff]5ce 9 h] treatm5t ( ! highe/ & ! l[e/1 ! afflu5t & ! dep5d5t4 ,nor did %e ?9k x h] duty to visit iniquity ev5 ^u ! vici\s1 by )draw+ f !m all confid5ce1 & turn+ !m into ! /reets to s9 & suff] m4 ,n 9 words alone1 or ( "o sex only1 has %e said1 z we f9d h] say+ 9 an aggravat$ case3 ,i see n :y a man's s9s %\ld = ev] cut him (f f ! *>ities ( 8 k9d1 if he is truly p5it5t4 ,:at are we t we %\ld condemn1 if ,god =gives8 ,9 cont9u+ our extracts f ,mrs4 ,w>e's lett]s at ?is p]iod1 we %all draw freely f ^? :i* %e wrote to ! son :o _h be5 left 9 ,cambridge1 & 0 n[ ent]+ ^u ! "w ( ! m9i/ry1 feel+ pa9fully ! sep>ation f 8 fa!r1 & ! loss 9 "p ( 8 guidance & c\nsel4 ,fram+ham1 ,augu/1 #ahdb4 ,at la/1 de> ,john1 ! great crisis has pass$1 ! great movem5t is made4 ,we h *ang$ our home1 & are no long] to live toge!r "u ! same circum/ances4 ,! *ange is inde$ great to u all1 b ,i feel t = y x is great] ?an to any "o else1 & !re=e x is t ,i am impell$ to use my fir/ quiet mom5t 9 express+ my deep s5se ( ! trial ( y\r pres5t position1 & mo/ he>tily sympa?ize ) ! s\l-/irr+ emotion :i* belongs to x4 ,to y x is inde$ a v important turn+-po9t 9 exi/5ce1 & :5 "o looks only ^u ! mom5t\s responsibilities :i* x involves1 x is n /range t ! he>t %\ld s9k1 & ! "q %\ld involunt>ily arise to "o's lips1 ',h[ c ?is *ange be borne1 h[ c su* duties be met8' ,i h felt sometimes1 9 look+ at ! s+ul> comb9ation ( ev5ts1 by :i* y %\ld be sep>at$ f y\r fa!r1 j :5 y 7 comm5c+ ! mo/ try+ & important p]iod ( life1 z if x 7 almo/ too h>d2 & z if x w\ld h be5 n only easi]1 b saf]1 to h be5 able to feel y\r way a little be=e y absolutely float$ (f "u y\r own sole guidance4 ,b a second ?\ght has always satisfi$ me t ! arrangem5t ( ,provid5ce 0 ! be/1 al?\gh = ! "t ! mo/ pa9ful4 ,/&+ =? 9 y\r lot1 z an ambassador = ,*ri/ to ! _w1 y _c be too soon l$ to rely solely on 8 tea*+ = direction1 & x _c b be be/ t y %\ld be compell$1 by ! removal ( e>?ly succor1 to g only to ,him :o is '! way1 ! tru?1 & ! life1' = /r5g? 9 ! h\r ( ne$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,my de> ,john3 ,y are n[ pass+ ?r\gh t ordeal :i* ,i h long look$ =w>d to z inevitable at "s p]iod1 sometimes ) an almo/ irresi/ible desire to av]t x by op5+ to y pages ( my own pa9ful exp]i5ce 9 self-education2 sometimes ) an uncontrollable impati5ce to ha/5 x1 t1 be+ pa/1 y & ,i & all might be enjoy+ ! happ9ess x might produce4 ,x is "o ( ! mo/ difficult que/ions to decide h[ f>1 & :51 to make opportunities1 or wait = !m to come 9 ! natural ord] ( ?+s2 we %\ld v decid$ly wait1 if we 7 sure !y w\ld come at "s "t1--b !re is ! rub4444 ,x is a common & v natural idea ) "y p1 t old] ones _c und]/& or sympa?ize 9 _! feel+s2 =gett+ t we h all be5 "y1 & t ! /ruggles by :i* ! s\l is ex]cis$ 9 y\? are nev] to be =gott54 ,! exp]i5ce ( diff]5t natural *>act]s ( c\rse v>ies1 b ! fact ( /ruggle is common to all4 ,& ^u no spot 9 ! review ( ! pa/ does "o's memory dwell ) s mu* int5se emotion1 z ^u t ?orny & tangl$ labyr9? ?r\gh :i* ! _s w&]$1 'bewild]$1 b n lo/1' at ! p]iod :5 ! necessity & duty ( prov+ its own "* fir/ r\s$ x to a s5se ( its responsibilities4 ,y say mo/ truly1 t x is good to look at ?+s at a di/ance1 f new & v>i\s po9ts ( view4 ,i h always advocat$ ?is1 = my own *angeful life =c$ ! conviction ^u me2 & = ! same reason1 ,i w\ld advocate free1 confid5tial discussion ( inw>d & spiritual exp]i5ce4 ,! m]e clo?+ our ?\ghts & feel+s 9 words sometimes places !m 9 a diff]5t position4 ,we take !m out ( ! atmosph]e ( our own p]haps morbid fe>s & anxieties1 & c !re=e see !m m cle>ly4 ,!n1 too1 we h ! advantage ( ano!r's obs]vation1 &1 may-be1 exp]i5ce ( ! selfsame difficulties1 to aid u 9 our judgm5t ( _! true "*4 ,at any rate1 we h ! c]ta9ty ( t w>m k9dl+ ( ! affections :i* to a lov+ he>t is always a help 9 be>+ ! burd5 ( life4 ,believe me1 de> ,john1 !re is ample rew>d = all ! ef=t x may co/ 9 unclo?+ ourselves1 9 ! consci\sness t h[ev] ! out] _w may ?9k ( u1 at home1 9 t sanctu>y :i* ,god & nature h alike appo9t$ z ! be/ re/+-place = ! _s ^u e>?1 we are und]/ood & appreciat$ & lov$4 ,let u n suff] any factiti\s ?\ghts or circum/ances to *eat u ( ?is privilege1 b ) tru/+1 confid+ he>ts take ! good :i* ,heav5 design$ = u :5 ! family-community 0 e/abli%$ 9 ! _w4444 ,i c\ld write m ?an ,i %\ld c>e to give y ! tr\ble to read1 if ,i attempt$ to write half t ,i h 9 my he>t to say4 99 99 99 99 99 ,decemb]1 #ahdb4 ,! go+ =? into ! _w = ! fir/ "t alone is1 x seems to me1 ! mo/ try+ po9t 9 ! exi/5ce ( any "o ( any s5sibility4 ,b does n ! v difficulty ( ! case indicate ! value ( ! exp]i5ce8 ,are n almo/ all ! mo/ valuable results ( ef=t ^? :i* require ! greate/ ef=ts = _! atta9m5t8 ,! high] ! summit to :i* we w\ld arrive1 ! m toilsome mu/ be ! asc5t4 ,:5 by a pray]ful1 self-surr5d]+ _s we h s\ght to le>n ! w ( ,god conc]n+ u1 %all we n believe t1 into :atsoev] pa? we may be l$1 x mu/ conta9 = u ! discipl9e we ne$1--treasures ( exp]i5ce1 hidd5 p]haps at fir/1 :i* w amply repay any toil1 any suff]+1 9 ! aid we %all d]ive f !m 9 our ,*ri/ian progress8444 ,we admire1 we rev]5ce1 ! _s :i* actuat$ ,ob]l9 & ,felix ,neff1 & _m o!rs ( ! class ( mission>y spirits :o h left all to d _! ,ma/]'s "w 9 ! field he has appo9t$ = !m2 b we d n easily realize h[ mu* ( ! same _s ( self-sacrifice is call$ = 9 :at no "o w\ld ?9k ( call+ mission>y gr\nd1 & :i* yet requires z mu* surr5d] ( e>?ly desire z _! situations c\ld1 :i* none b ! ,all-see+ c "k4 ,an ev5t :i* all felt1 at ?is "t1 0 felt by none m ?an by ,mrs4 ,w>e4 ,we mean ! dea? ( ,dr4 ,*ann+4 ,! read] w rememb] h[ mu* he _h done = h] 9 e>ly life1 n only z a public tea*]1 b z a private fri5d1 ) :om h] int]c\rse _h be5 frequ5t & p]fectly free4 ,= sev]al ye>s %e _h se5 little ( him4 ,& n[1 9 h] seclusion & comp>ative solitude1 ! unexpect$ intellig5ce ( 8 dea? mov$ h] deeply4 ,to a fri5d 9 ,cambridge1 %e writes3 ,y _c imag9e h[ try+ x is to me1 to "k no?+ ( ,dr4 ,*ann+'s sickness & dea?1 except :at ! newspap]s c tell me4 ,y "k n ! peculi> relation 9 :i* ,i h /ood t[>ds him4 ,d 9 pity tell me :at y "k ab\t ! ev5t4 ,i _c realize x1 ,i c sc>cely believe x4 ,!re is s mu* to be ?\ght ( 9 relation to su* an ev5t1 t my m9d is p]fectly bewild]$4 ,i _c arrange my ?\ghts en\gh to give !m utt]ance4 ,b my he>t goes out t[>d ^? _m de> fri5ds :o w feel 8 loss z ,i d4 ,"o is tempt$ to say1 ',:at a loss to ! _w is ! dea? ( su* a man6' ,b su* a man _c die4 ,h[ w 8 words h new p[] ov] ! he>ts ( ^? :o read !m1 f ! consci\sness t ! _s t utt]$ !m already sees beh9d ! veil1 t 8 light c nev] be put out1 b w p5etrate /ill m & m ! inmo/ recesses ( m5's s\ls6 ,h[ w t la/ eloqu5t1 t\*+ appeal = ! ,slave ga9 access to ! colde/ he>ts1 :5 x is rememb]$ t x 0 ! la/ ef=t ( ! dep>t+ sa9t = ! rights & suff]+s ( ! oppress$6 ,! impulse :i* su* a m9d gives mu/ be felt = ev]4 ,:o c measure its p[]8 ,a fact is "h sugge/$ :i* !re seems no reason = )hold+1 %[+ ! e/imate :i* ,dr4 ,*ann+ himself put ^u ! "* & p[] ( ,mrs4 ,w>e4 ,a lady intimate ) bo? ( !m :5 !y 7 mo/ toge!r1 says3 ,dr4 ,*ann+ talk$ ) h] on religi\s exp]i5ce1 to le>n z well z to tea*4 ,i h kn[n him to reque/ h] to make visits ( in/ruction to a disconsolate p]son1 :om he c\ld n awak5 to religi\s hope1--tru/+ t h] g5tle sympa?y & cle> views might %$ a ray ( light t w\ld po9t h] to ! day4 ,! fir/ season at ,fram+ham 0 a busy "o1 ?\gh tranquil4 ,mrs4 ,w>e's bodily z well z m5tal labor mu/ h be5 unusually great4 ,x is true1 ,i d n see h[ we are to set all ! /it*es :i* w be necess>y to prep>e eight p = a w9t] campaign 9 a cold h\se2 b ,i h fai? t we %all f9d a way4 ,!y 7 mu* m free f int]ruptions ?an ev] be=e4 ,_! new neighbors & fri5ds 7 n only k9d1 b consid]ate1--"o ( ! be/ =ms ( k9dness4 ,gratefully does ,mrs4 ,w>e ackn[l$ge ?is4 ,h[ mu* !re is 9 human life to int]e/ our he>ts6 ,"o _c g any:]e )\t f9d+ "s cases ( peculi> int]e/4 ,we are "h cut (f f g5]al k ( ^? ar\nd u1 by hav+ come expressly = retirem5t4 ,our neighbors1 und]/&+ ?is1 d n call4 ,& yet we h already happ5$ ^u "s mo/ int]e/+ p1 f :om we _c 9 consci5ce hold back4 ,?us ! ye> clos$2 a ye> ( z great outw>d *ange z any t _h prec$$ x1 & leav+ !m 9 z great unc]ta9ty z to ! future4 ,yet ,mrs4 ,w>e c\ld say3 ,! prevail+ emotion 9 ! retrospect is "o ( gratitude at hav+ be5 enabl$ to escape f ! burd5 :i* be=e oppress$ & weigh$ me d[n4 ,! consci\sness t we 7 sp5d+ all our /r5g?1 m5tal & physical1 ^u a va9 attempt = an unatta9able result1 0 worse to me ?an any degree ( labor = an atta9able end1 or ev5 any unc]ta9ty ab\t ! future means ( support4 ,i rejoice t my husb& is free f t incubus ^u 8 spirits2 & /ill m d ,i rejoice1 t x is giv5 to u bo? to feel1 9 ! unc]ta9ty t lies be=e u1 su* a tranquil tru/ t all w be well1 t we h no fe>1 no wi%4 ,/ill !re is room = mu* m5tal & spiritual discipl9e2 & ,i mu/ ackn[l$ge t !re are times :5 ! weakness ( ! fle% ov]comes ! will+ness ( ! _s1 & ,i feel = ! "t entirely depress$ by a s5se ( inadequacy to meet ! dem&s ( duty4 ,i h n ! p[] to d all t ought to be done1 & ,i feel z if ! effects ( my incapacity w\ld be griev\s4 ,i "k t "o has no "r to suff] f ?is1 because we ought to h fai? to believe t ! trials ev5 ( our own insuffici5cy are design$ to accompli% "s end4 ,b ! consci\sness t o!rs are suff]+ f our defici5cies is j ! v h>de/ ?+ to be> 9 life4 ,x is my cross1 & always has be52 & ,i fe> ,i d n le>n z ,i ought1 to be> x 9 meekness & humility1--,i ne$ n say 'fe>1' ,i "k ,i d n4 ,to ^? famili> ) ! life ( ,h5ry ,w>e1 & ) its close1 x is unnecess>y to rec\nt ! ev5ts ( ! ye> #ahdc2 ! ye> t br\ght into /]n requisition all ! tru/ & endurance ( a devot$ wife4 ,%e _h long se5 t ?is trial 0 approa*+1 & _h =tifi$ h]self to meet x1 n by putt+ ! ?\ght ( x aside1 b by keep+ x be=e h]1 & mak+ x famili>1 t x might nev] take h] by surprise4 ,& long _h %e ?us discipl9$ h] m9d & h] affections4 ,= dur+ ! sixte5 ye>s t %e _h liv$ ) ,mr4 ,w>e1 %e c\ld nev]1 = any long "t1 h fail$ to see ! great prec>i\sness ( 8 hold on life4 ,at ?is v p]iod1 %e says3 ,9 su* alt]nation ( hope & fe> d ,i live1 & inde$ h liv$ = ! great] "p ( my m>ri$ life4 ,yet h[ mu* _h %e enjoy$ life6 & :at an am\nt ( happ9ess1 labor1 & usefulness _h %e extort$--if we may use ! ^w 9 a grateful s5se1 z %e w\ld--f e ye> & e position6 ,9 ! spr+ ( #ahdc %e accompani$ h] husb& to ,bo/on1 = a %ort visit at 8 bro!r's2 & !re occurr$ t sev]e & al>m+ illness1 :i* conf9$ ,mr4 ,w>e = t5 weeks1 & f ! effects ( :i* he nev] recov]$4 ,( ?is attack1 & ( all t int]v5$ until 8 dea?1 we w n give ! p>ticul>s1 b w\ld only trace ,mrs4 ,w>e's own ?\ghts & feel+s1 z %e express$ !m f "t to "t 9 lett]s & fragm5ts ( lett]s to ^? mo/ conc]n$4 ,bo/on1 ,?ursday1 ,may #aa4 ,s9ce writ+ to y1 de> ,n----1 ,i h _h a season ( int5se anxiety4 ,sunday1 ,monday1 & ,tuesday1 ,mr4 ,w>e suff]$ extremely1 & x 0 n cle> :at 0 ! nature ( ! difficulty t produc$ ?is suff]+2 "o ?+ only 0 c]ta91--t he 0 v sick1 & too weak to be> su* di/ress long4 ,x mu/ be a long "t be=e he is free f ! effects ( x1 ev5 if he h /r5g? to hold out4 ,s end my hopes = ! pres5t1 & ,i mu/ give up all ?\ght ab\t any ?+ b ! c>e ( my husb&1 = ,i "k n h[ long4 ,god's w be done6 ,,he mu/ "k :at is be/1--b x is n easy to und]/& h[ x is s 9 ?is case4 ,& if x 7 easy1 :]e w\ld be room = ,fai?8444 ,^! are try+1 b bless$ days1 = ! cultivation ( ! _s ( fai? & tru/2 & ,i "k ,i ne$ mu* to make me feel t ?is is n my home4 ,god grant t ,i may effectually le>n x1 s z to be n only will+1 b glad1 to give up all t belongs to me "h1 confid5t 9 ! prospect ( a reunion 9 a bett] /ate6 ,i %all write aga9 if ,i c1 b ,i h few m9utes unoccupi$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,bo/on1 ,may1 #ahdc4 ,my de> *ild3 ,fa!r cont9u$ v mu* z y left him1 ye/]day4 ,he does n suff] z mu* z he did1 b 8 disease is a v t$i\s "o1 & x may be _m weeks be=e he is able to get home1 if x pleases ,god /ill to re/ore him to heal?4 ,let u pray to ,him to look 9 m]cy ^u u1 & sp>e him to u yet long]4 ,! circum/ances ( our lot 9 life are j n[ v try+1 & no d\bt are arrang$ = u 9 ord] to our improvem5t4 ,x is a great trial to fa!r & me to be sep>at$ f our *ildr5 s long2 & to y all1 ?is sep>ation br+s ! great] responsibility to wat* ov] y\rselves1 t y d 9 all ?+s "r1--n :at is mo/ pleasant1 n :at we wi%1 b :at is "r to d1 )\t reg>d to self4 ,next to my anxiety ab\t fa!r1 n[1 is my anxiety ab\t y2 because ,i feel t y are at an age :5 ! habits are =m$1 & ! pr9ciples ( action settl$ = life2 t y\r :ole future1 = "t & = et]nity1 may dep5d ^u ^! ye>s4 ,& ,i _c feel happy unless ,i see y ga9+ f day to day m & m ( t self-discipl9e & self-control1 :i* c alone1 by ! grace ( ,god1 make y :at y ought to be4 ,mr4 ,w>e 0 able to return to ,fram+ham 9 ,june1 & aft]w>d took sev]al %ort j\rneys among fri5ds1 "o z f> z ,plym\?1 & !nce to ,fall ,riv] 7:]e 8 son 0 !n settl$ 9 ! m9i/ry71 & home by ,provid5ce1--8 la/ visit to ^? places4 ,9 ,augu/1 ano!r & /ill m viol5t attack ^u ! bra9 pro/rat$ him completely2 & ! rema9+ five or six weeks ( 8 life seem$ only a vacillation betwe5 e>? & heav51--yield+ transport+ glimpses ( ! latt]1 b con/antly draw+ him back to ! =m]1--& creat+ altoge!r z h>d a trial = ! suff]]1 & ^? ar\nd him1 z c easily be conceiv$4 ,augu/ #ag4 ,we feel1 9 fa!r's case1 'h[ va9 is ! help ( man4' ,8 sy/em is s delicate1 t he _c be> ! adm9i/ration ( any pot5t means4 ,our reliance mu/ be ^u our ,heav5ly ,p>5t1 9 ^: h& are ! issues ( life & dea?4 ,let u pray to ,him1 t1 if x be consi/5t ) 8 wisdom1 ?is cup may pass f u2 b let u be ready to say1 & feel 9 our inmo/ he>ts1 ',n my w1 b ?9e1 ,o ,"l1 be done'6444 ,we d n feel x to be impossible t de> fa!r %\ld recov] f ?is illness2 b we "k t 8 repeat$ sicknesses mu/ h weak5$ 8 p[] ( reaction1 & we /rive1 !re=e1 to be prep>$ = any result4 ,! v unc]ta9ty is appo9t$ = our good2 let u use x1 my de> *ild1 = our spiritual advancem5t4444 ,god bless y6 be submissive1 be pati5t1 be grateful1 if x s please ,god t de> fa!r %\ld be releas$ f ! burd5 ( 8 e>?ly h\se1 to be transport$ to 8 heav5ly home1 :]e !re is no m pa94 99 99 99 99 99 ,augu/ #ba4 ,x is all 9 ! h&s ( ,inf9ite ,love & ,wisdom4 ,god w ord] all well2 let u be will+ & be ?ankful to place our tru/ 9 ,him4 ,:at a m]cy x is to u1 t ,he has n giv5 u ! p[] ( =ekn[l$ge6 ,b :atev] may be ! ev5t1 let u n lose ! b5efit ( ?is discipl9e to our s\ls2 let u /rive to increase our fai? 9 ,god's goodness1 our tru/ 9 8 love4444 ,i _c write mu*1 = ,i _c leave fa!r _m m9utes at a "t1--& all ! "t ,i c get1 ,i am b\nd to devote to sleep4 99 99 99 99 99 ,augu/ #bc4 444 ,?us y see we are vibrat+ betwe5 hope & fe>4 ,b x is a "q :e!r we h a "r to all[ ei!r2 = we "k n :at is be/ = him or = ourselves4 99 99 99 99 99 ,augu/ #bi4 ,my de> ,emma3 ,i mu/ say a few words to y1 to ?ank y = y\r mo/ welcome lett] receiv$ ye/]day4 ,h[ mu* ,i h long$ = "s int]c\rse ) y1 dur+ ! la/ two mon?s1 y c judge bett] by y\r own exp]i5ce n[1 ?an by any words ( m9e4 ,i h wi%$1 z y d n[1 to "k all t 0 pass+ )9 ! deep f\nta9s ( y\r spiritual life1 & no?+ b ! absolute necessity ( ! case has kept me away f y4 ,n[1 ,i say1 come1 :5ev] y c2 y w be mo/ welcome to u all1 & to me y\r pres5ce w be a real b5$iction4 ,i feel at times z if ,i %\ld be ov]p[]$ by ! tumult ( feel+s to :i* ,i d>e n give utt]ance "h1 :]e ! composure ( all ar\nd me dep5ds s mu* ^u my calmness4 ,?is la/ =tnight has %ak5 to its v f\ndation ! :ole fabric ( my spiritual be+1--?ank ,god6 n to displace a s+le fibre ( ! fabric4 ,b !re has be5 su* a heav+ up ( all t 0 hidd5 9 ! dep?s ( pa/ exp]i5ce1 z has wellnigh conqu]$ at times my self-control1 & ,i h felt t ,i mu/ utt] myself1 or be lo/2 yet to no "o h ,i d>$ to speak4 ,john's sickness "h has made composure ) him peculi>ly important4444 ,happily1 we _c lift ! veil ( ! future2 we c only be ready = :atev] may be 9 /ore = u1 & ?is ,i tru/ we are4444 ,i h be5 prev5t$ f writ+ 9 ! daytime1 & n[1 at elev5 o'clock1 ,i am compell$ by we>9ess to %ut my eyes1 & re/4 99 99 99 99 99 ,augu/ #cj4 ,my de> ,lucy3 ,i %\ld inde$ rejoice if y 7 able to be "h1 = ,i long = "s communion ) "o :o c\ld s ent] into all my views & feel+s at ?is "t z ,i "k y w\ld4 ,b ,i b[ 9 submission to all ! discipl9e :i* ,god appo9ts = me4444 ,9 "s respects ! bitt]ness ( ! /roke has pass$4 ,i felt t ! real sep>ation came ) ! conviction1 t t m9d ) :i* my _s _h s long commun$ 9 ! true/ sympa?y 0 cl\d$ = ! rema9d] ( its soj\rn 9 ! body4 ,! s5se ( solitude1 ( isolation1 ,i _h almo/ said desolation1 0 = a "t ne>ly ov]p[]+2 & !re are mom5ts :5 life looks s l a blank1 t x is n easy to re/ra9 ! wi% to g too4 ,b ! necessity ( calmness = ! *ildr5's sake1 feel+ t _! /ate ( m9d w\ld inevitably be influ5c$ by ! tone ,i %\ld give x1 has aid$ me 9 pres]v+ a quiet ext]ior2 & s we h _h ! great com=t ( peace & entire fre$om f agitation & excitem5t4 ,god give u /r5g? to pres]ve x6 ,b ?is we>y wait+ f day to day1 alt]nately hop+ & feel+ t !re is no reason to hope1 we>s ^u ! n]ves1--! days seem int]m9able1 & ! nights ages4444 ,long z ,i h look$ =w>d to ?is *ange1 x seems l a dream f :i* ,i mu/ awake1--z if x c\ld n be6 ,no wond]2--= fifte5 ye>s1 8 heal?1 he inde$1 has be5 ! fir/1 almo/ ! sole1 object ( my life4 ,x w be long be=e ,i c turn ev5 to my *ildr51 ) ! consci\sness t !y c n[ be att5d$ to )\t neglect+ him4 ,! /ruggle 0 ov]4 ,h5ry ,w>e di$1 at ,fram+ham1 on ,friday morn+1 ,septemb] #bb4 ,a ,sunday int]v5$ be=e ! body 0 remov$ = burial1 & t day ,mrs4 ,w>e w5t1 ) h] *ildr51 morn+ & aft]noon1 to _! accu/om$ place ( wor%ip2 desir+ x = _! own sacr$ communion1 & believ+ x mo/ 9 accordance ) 8 feel+s4 ,to h] fai?1 ) h] habitual view ( duty & dea?1 ?is 0 probably no ef=t4 ,to _m x w\ld be impossible1 ev5 ) ! same fai?2 =1 unhappily1 association & cu/om are all[$ to *eck our highe/ aspirations 9 ! holie/ seasons1 s t _m w\ld consid] su* an ef=t unnatural & /range4 ,is x n m /range1 t x %\ld ev] seem unnatural = a ,*ri/ian m\rn] to g to ! h\se ( ,god1 9 ! mo/ solemn h\rs ( life1--especially :5 t h\se is completely id5tifi$ ) ! life & image ( ! dep>t$8 ,mrs4 ,w>e 0 grateful also = ! p[] ( associat+ ! idea ( ,dea?1 9 ! m9ds ( h] *ildr51 n ) re/ra9t & gloom1 b ) ! place ( pray] & praise1 & ! *e]ful pres5ce ( dev\t wor%ipp]s4 ,x 0 a beautiful exemplification ( h] high tru/1 9 h>mony ) h] :ole "*4 ,we honor ! pr9ciple1 & ?ank h] = ! act4 ,true1 x 0 an alt]$ & sadd5$ h\se to :i* !y return$1 yet sadd5$ by no gloomy aspect1 di/urb$ by no busy prep>ation4 ,!re 0 less ?an usual ( c>e & hurry1 in/ead ( m4 ,x 0 a holy season1 says "o ( ! daught]s1 ^? days aft] de> fa!r left u2 no bu/le1 no prep>ation ( dress1 no "w done b :at 0 absolutely necess>y2 x 0 l a cont9u$ ,sabba?4 ,!n1 on ,sabba? ev5+1 aft] a simple religi\s s]vice1 ! preci\s rema9s ( ! husb& & fa!r 7 tak5 9 _! own c>riage1 by ! wife & elde/ son1 to ,cambridge2 :]e1 ! next day1 ! m public c]emony ( int]m5t took place4 ,b ( ?is :ole exp]i5ce x is "r to let ,mrs4 ,w>e speak 9 h] own lett]s1 sev]al ( :i* we add4 ,! fir/ 0 writt5 ! day aft] ! fun]al1 to an abs5t *ild1 & ! o!rs to diff]5t fri5ds aft] h] return to ,fram+ham4 ,we take !m f among _m writt5 at t "t1 ei!r 9 answ] to (f]s ( sympa?y1 or z a relief to a burd5$ he>t4 ,( necessity1 !y conta9 "s repetitions ( ! same ?\ght1 9 simil> language2 b x is be/ to give !m z !y are1 t we may see 9 !m h[ great 0 ! b]eavem5t & h[ deep ! angui% ( "o ^: c\nt5ance 0 always *e]ful4 ,cambridge1 ,septemb] #bf1 #ahdc4 ,,my ,,de> ,,*ild3-- ,i use my fir/ mom5t ( repose to write to y1 = ,i "k y w long to he> :at we h be5 do+1 & z f> z possible to ent] into all our ?\ghts & feel+s4 ,i want to h y "k all t has tak5 place s9ce y left u1 & %all !re=e s5d y a m9ute detail ( e day1 :5 ,i %all h "t to write x2 b n[ s mu* is press+ ^u me :i* dem&s att5tion1 s _m duties :i* mu/ n be neglect$1 & :i* belong to ?is "t1 & mu/ be p]=m$ at once1 t ,i conf9e myself to ! la/ two days4 ,aft] de> fa!r's dea?1 ,i told ,uncle ,john t ,i wi%$ all arrangem5ts ) reg>d to 8 fun]al %\ld be made 9 accordance ) gr&fa!r's feel+s2 & ,i gave x :olly into 8 h&s to arrange4 ,he came up aga9 on ,saturday1 & x 0 decid$ t we %\ld come to gr&fa!r's on ,monday morn+1 & h a s]vice at 8 h\se4 ,on ,sunday we all w5t to meet+2 we felt x 0 good to g to ! h\se ( ,god1 & f9d peace to our tr\bl$ s\ls 9 ! act ( wor%ip4 ,ab\t six 9 ! ev5+ ,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,b>ry came to u1 = ,i felt t ,i c\ld n h fa!r's body leave t h\se )\t '! voice ( pray] at ! sable bi]1 ,a voice to su/a91 to soo!1 & to *e]4' ,he read to u "s passages ( ,scripture1 & (f]$ = u & ) u a pray] to ,him :o alone c\ld give u /r5g?1 t he w\ld aid u 9 t try+ h\r4 ,we _h no "o ) u except ,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,w----1 ^: k9dness 0 mo/ valuable to u dur+ ! la/ days ( fa!r's life4 ,!n ,john & ,i br\ght de> fa!r's body to ,cambridge 9 our own c>riage2 we c\ld n feel will+ to let /rang]s d any ?+ 9 connection ) him :i* we c\ld d ourselves4 ,we rea*$ "h ab\t half pa/ t51 hav+ _h a season ( preci\s int]c\rse ^u our way4 ,we f\nd t1 9 accordance ) ! wi%es ( ! ,college ,faculty1 x _h be5 decid$ t we %\ld g to ! ,college ,*apel1 = ! s]vice1 at half pa/ ?ree on ,monday4 ,on ,monday morn+ ! re/ ( ! family came d[n1 & all ! aunts & uncles1 s t gr&fa!r _h all 8 *ildr5 ) him4 ,at ?ree o'clock we w5t to ! ,*apel4 ,! /ud5ts att5d$ 9 _! places1 & ! pews 9 ! gall]y 7 devot$ to u4 ,! s]vice comm5c$ by a volunt>y1 & ! an!m1 ',! ,"l is my %eph]d4' ,dr4 ,francis pray$2 ,dr4 ,noyes read "s passages f ,scripture2 !n 0 sung ! #dfc;d hymn4 ,dr4 ,p>kman !n pray$ = u1 9 8 mo/ t\*+1 he>tfelt mann]1--s elevat+1 s soo?+1 s full ( fai?1 gratitude1 & hope1 t x subdu$ all e>?ly emotion & took away all e>?ly desire4 ,al?\gh v m9ute & p]sonal1 x seem$ z if "o might h li/5$ = ev] )\t a ?\ght ( self4 ,he lov$ fa!r mo/ s9c]ely1 & all he said came f ! dep?s ( 8 he>t4 ,i _h %runk f ! ?\ght ( publicity at su* a "t1 9 su* a connection1 b ,i f\nd t ! circum/ances ab\t me 7 :olly lo/ sight (2 x made no diff]5ce to me :]e ,i 01 or :o 0 ne> me4 ,i felt rais$ above all m9or consid]ations4 ,! s]vices clos$ ) ',unveil ?y bosom1 fai?ful tomb6' ,we all w5t to ,m\nt ,auburn2 t is1 all ! family1 ev5 gr&fa!r & de> little ,*>lie4 ,! wea!r 0 mi/y1 b ! light :i* x ?rew ar\nd 0 9 keep+ ) ! occasion1 & ,i ?\ght ,i nev] _h se5 ! place look m beautiful4 ,"o only ?+ ,i want$ :i* ,i c\ld n h1--! s\nd ( ! holy hymn at ! consecrat$ spot4 ,fa!r 0 laid 9 ,mr4 ,f>r>'s tomb1--! fir/ inhabitant2 & ,i felt1 z ,i look$ once m ^u him z he re/$ !re1 t x 0 inde$ b 8 body f :i* we 7 to be sep>at$2 8 _s is /ill1 & w ev] be1 ) u4 ,he seems to me ne>] to-day ?an he has = _m weeks1 & ! ?\ght ( 8 fre$om f ! burd5 ( ! we>y fle% is sweet inde$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,fram+ham1 ,septemb] #bi1 #ahdc4 ,,my ,,de> ,,emma3-- ,i _c write y m ?an a few words1 ,i am s mu* press$ on all sides by matt]s :i* _c be put (f2 b ,i mu/ say ^! few1 to assure y ( ! peace & repose :i* are ) u1 & h be51 ,i may say1 ev] s9ce y 7 "h4 ,o t y _h be5 ) u long]1--t y c\ld h be5 ) me at t /ill h\r :5 ! _s 0 fre$ f its prison-h\se1 ! we>y body left to its re/6 ,& x 0 re/4 ,c\ld y h se5 ! v 'rapture ( repose' depict$ ^u t face1 :i* _h s long be5 di/urb$ by ! pressure ( disease t its v expression _h be5 *ang$ to a "* =eign to ! :ole man6 ,all cont9u$ ( ! same peaceful "* :i* p]vad$ our atmosph]e :5 y 7 "h1 ) ! exception ( a few days ( a little tempor>y uneas9ess ab\t ! "t ,c---- ,r---- 0 "h4 ,& ! la/ fatal attack1 com+ z x did at a mom5t ( r unusual brightness1 0 s sudd5 & s soon ov]1 t !re 0 no "t = *ange4 ,de> little ,*>lie1 :o _h j return$1 0 at ! mom5t b\nd+1 9 ! height ( 8 joy\s spirits1 f "o side ( ! b$ to ! o!r1 exclaim+1 ',sall ,i buss ! flies (f y1 fa!r8' ,he 0 tak5 at once to b$2 & :5 he came d[n 9 ! morn+ he f\nd 8 de> fa!r ly+ j z he _h left him ! night be=e1 look+ only m peaceful1 m beautiful1 & he took up ! same ?\ght1--',sall ,i buss ! flies (f fa!r1 n[ he has gone to heav58' ,i felt x a peculi> bless+1 t all ! circum/ances ( ! ev5t 7 su* z to make any movem5t or *ange 9 any ext]nal respect unnecess>y1 s t ! *ildr5 might h _! fir/ associations ) ! fact ( dea? )\t any horror1 & _! recollection ( _! fa!r un9t]rupt$ by any repulsive details4 ,he lay 9 8 b$ j z he _h :5 talk+ ) !m1 until he 0 remov$ f ! h\se1 & t process ! little ones did n witness4 ,i d\bt n x w give a tone to _! view ( ! subject ?r\gh life4 ,b :y %\ld ,i dwell ^u ^! ext]nals8 ,simply t y may dismiss f y\r m9d any ?\ghts ( di/ress connect$ ) u at t mom5t2 & y "k all t ,i c tell y ( ! _s )94 ,y "k h[ ,i h suff]$ 9 anticipation ( ?is sep>ation1 b all ! wor/ agony connect$ ) x is yet to come4 ,x is comp>atively easy n[ to be calm & firm & ?ankful2 ! fir/ ?\ght _c b be ( him & 8 pres5t happ9ess2 & ! s5se ( relief t ! suff]+s ( t bless$ be+ are ov]1 t he has gone to 8 ,fa!r's home1 'to ! h\se ( 8 re/1' is s great1 t no o!r ?\ght d>e intrude4 ,i long to see y1 & hope to d s soon4 ,i g to ,cambridge to-morr[1 to be 9 ,bo/on on ,sunday4 ,i c\ld n d5y myself ! luxury ( go+ once m to t h\se ( 8 religi\s affections1 9 connection ) him4 ,t spot has mo/ sacr$1 mo/ t5d] associations to me1 s full t x w\ld be en\gh to sit !re 9 sil5t m$itation2 & if ,i fe>$ any ?+1 ,i %\ld fe> t x w\ld be too ov]:elm+ to be borne1 to g !re 9 public4 ,b ,i h f\nd by my exp]i5ce on ,monday1 t ! surr\nd+s ( su* a mom5t are ( no consequ5ce4 ,i h a quiet fai? t ! /r5g? w come4 ,o1 may improvem5t1 elevation1 come also6444 ,john leaves u soon4 ,he & ,i _h a holy season1 z we w5t1 9 ! /illness ( ! night1 to c>ry ^? preci\s rema9s to ,cambridge4 ,i f9d x is z ,i anticipat$1--,i feel a great] ne>ness to my husb& ?an ,i did :5 he lay on 8 c\* 9 ! next room4 ,i am sep>at$ f t =m2 ,i look back to x only z ! associate ( ! _s 9 heal?2 ,i d n cl+ to x n[4 ,y\rs 9 all love4 ,m4 ,l4 ,w4 99 99 99 99 99 ,fram+ham1 ,octob] #f1 #ahdc4 ,,my ,,de> ,,m>y3-- ,! fir/ mom5t ,i c call my own s9ce my return f ,cambridge1 ,i turn to y4 ,i "k no "o to :om ,i c s freely p\r out all t is 9 my he>t1 z = ! fir/ "t ,i pause a little f ! pressure ( necess>y action1 & realize ! *ange t has tak5 place 9 e ?+ ab\t me4444 ,i want$ y at my side1 :5 ,i /ood once m at t sacr$ spot :]e we _h laid our de> si/]'s image4 ,y & ,i c nev] =get t mom5t4 ,&1 ?\gh n ne>1 y 7 9 close communion ) ! _s 9 t holy h\r4 ,z ,i glance back at ! p]iod :i* has elaps$ s9ce y 7 "h1 "o s+le ?\ght takes prec$5ce ( all ! re/4 ,x is a/oni%m5t at ! p[] ( ! s\l to su/a9 ! pressure ( circum/ances1 ! t5sion & excitem5t ( feel+1 ! necessity ( positive1 en]getic action1 :5 ! v he>t-/r+s seem riv5 asund]1--& ! capacity ( su/a9+ a tranquil1 & ev5 *e]ful aspect1 :5 '! dull1 he>t-s9k+ weight' ( a vital grief is be>+ u d[n1 d[n1 d[n1--"o c sc>cely believe !re are any s\nd+s to t deep gulf4 ,yet s x is2 & does x n op5 our vision to ! glori\s tru? ( ! alliance ( ! s\l ) its div9e orig98 ,:at b t inexhau/ible1 f\nta9 ( /r5g? c\ld su/a9 u1 :5 ! waves ( tr\ble ?us ?reat5 to ov]:elm u8 ,ri*1 bless$1 inde$1 is ! exp]i5ce :i* br+s ?is conviction to our m9ds2 holy is t season 9 :i* we c live z x 7 9 ! light ( su* a fai?6 ,& holy inde$ has x be5 to me4 ,i feel t my dang] n[ is1 t ,i reluctantly d any ?+ t %all remove me f ! influ5ce ( ! atmosph]e :i* x seems z if dea? _h creat$ ar\nd me4 ,dea?8 transition ,i w\ld r call x4 ,& yet let u /rive to disabuse t ^w ( "s ( ! horrors 9 :i* education has wrapt x4 ,o1 c\ld y h se5 h[ m]cifully x 0 /ripp$ ( all its t]rors to u1 h[ calmly t _s left its e>?ly tab]nacle1 h[ sweet 0 ! impress ( peace & re/ x left ^u t face :i* _h s long almo/ lo/ its own expression 9 ! veil t sickness _h ?r[n ov] x6 ,its la/ expression w\ld h rebuk$ ! slighte/ wi% to recall ! _s1 _h we be5 s selfi% z to h indulg$ "o4 ,we c\ld sc>cely be will+ to be sep>at$ f t image ( him we lov$1 s p[]fully ev5 9 dea? did x express 8 "*4 ,ev5 ! little *ildr5 pref]r$ be+ !re1 r ?an any:]e beside2 & w1 ,i ?9k1 all1 includ+ ev5 little ,*>lie1 rememb] ?is fir/ k ( a dea?-b$ z a beautiful exp]i5ce4 ,! fir/ "p ( ,h5ry's sickness he seem$ q unconsci\s ( :at 0 ar\nd him2 torpid1 & at times w&]+ 9 8 expressions4 ,b ! la/ ?ree weeks1 al?\gh /ill unable to ex]t himself to talk1--= x tir$ him1 he said1 'ev5 to ?9k1'--8 m9d 0 p]fectly cle>2 inde$1 ,i _h reason to suppose 8 m9d 0 nev] z mu* cl\d$ to himself1 z x appe>$ to be to u4 ,! pressure ^u 8 bra9 0 s great1 z to produce great difficulty ( action ( any k9d2 8 ideas 7 (t5 cle>1 b ! p[] ( f9d+ words to convey !m 0 p>alyz$4 ,he said little at any "t1 & yet ,i f9d1 9 survey+ ! :ole p]iod1 t ,i h _m satisfactory views ( ! :ole /ate ( 8 m9d 9 relation to ! *ange t he 0 mak+4 ,he nev] _h b "o view ( 8 own situation2 he felt decid$ly t ! "t = go+ home 0 come1--'! fitt+ "t1' '! be/ "t'2 & he 0 grateful t ! toil ( sickness & inability 0 at an end4 ,& s conv9c$ 0 ,i1 t1 if he %\ld revive f t attack1 x c\ld only be to cont9ue to suff] /ill m ?an he _h done1 f inability to d :at he _h hop$ to1 ?is autumn1 = ! good ( 8 fell[-m51 t ,i too felt t x 0 inde$ ! fitt+ "t4 ,& s int5se 0 my suff]+ f ! appreh5sion ( 8 cont9u+1 = ye>s p]haps1 9 ! half-p>alyz$1 half-torpid /ate 9 :i* he lay = s _m weeks1 t x 0 n only ) resignation1 x 0 ) a s5se ( relief1 t ,i saw ! d\bt 0 at an end1 ! prison] 0 releas$4 ,s /range is x1 t t ev5t to :i* ,i _h ev] look$ =w>d z ! "o ?+ t c\ld n be borne 9 life1 came at la/ "u circum/ances :i* made x welcome6 ,d ,i live to say x1 to feel x8 ,b ,o ! *asm left 9 my lot1 9 my he>t6 ,:o c e/imate x6 ,no "o4 ,no1 '! he>t kn[e? its own bitt]ness'2 no human be+ c ent] into x4444 ,b ,i mu/ /op4 ,i hope to see y1 or at lea/ he> f y4 ,y\rs ) mu* love4 ,m4 ,l4 ,w4 99 99 99 99 99 ,fram+ham1 ,novemb] #e1 #ahdc4 ,,my ,,de> ,,emma3-- ,?is has be5 a day ( peculi> trial to me4 ,at no p]iod1 s9ce ! comm5cem5t ( ,h5ry's la/ sickness1 h ,i f\nd x s difficult to adh]e to my det]m9ation n to tr\ble ^? ar\nd me by ! want ( self-control4 ,?is fir/ communion s]vice s9ce t sacr$ occasion1 :5 we toge!r witness$ t celebration ( ! rite by him :o c n[ be pres5t only 9 _s6 ,i feel z if ,i ne$$ ! relief ( utt]ance2 & to :om c ,i g = ?is relief s naturally z to y1 :o are /rongly associat$ ) ! remembrance :i* s deeply agitates my _s8 ,x fright5s me1 :51 ^u su* an occasion z ?is1 ,i am l$ to probe ! nature ( my feel+s1 to f9d h[ mu* ! ref]5ce to him 9 8 spiritual /ate is becom+ to me a sub/itute = all o!r ?\ghts ( heav54 ,great z 0 my absorption 9 him :ile he 0 ) me "h1 ,i f9d x is s f> f be+ less5$ by ! removal ( 8 visible pres5ce1 t x has only *ang$ its "* into an idolatry ( a m al>m+ nature4 ,x is s mu* easi] = me to conceive ( 8 pres5ce ?an ( t ( any o!r spirits1 t x is ! ?\ght ( 8 inspection ( my inmo/ s\l t dwells p]petually on my m9d1 :atev] ,i d1 or say1 or ?9k1 to ! exclusion1 except by an ef=t1 ( ! idea ( ev5 a high] pres5ce4 ,:at %all ,i d1 if ?is gr[s ^u me8 ,h[ %all ,i root out ?is enemy to ,*ri/ian improvem5t8 ,x may be only ! fir/ effect ( ! bl[4 ,"t may modify or rectify ?is infidelity1--,i tru/ x w2 b at pres5t x is ov]:elm+4 ,o1 h[ deeply d su* seasons ( /rong emotion make me realize my lonel9ess1 n[ t ,i h no long] t ev]-ready sympa?y1 t compos+1 /r5g!n+ c\nsel to turn to1 ) ! c]ta9ty ( com=t & peace 9 ! turn+6 ,i d inde$ feel 8 pres5ce ) me1 b my he>t calls & he 'answ]s n aga9'2 !re c be no response to my application4 ,h[ deeply1 h[ t5d]ly1 is he associat$ ) all ! holie/ h\rs ( exi/5ce6 ,x seem$ to me to-day ,i c\ld he> 8 voice 9 ! hymn :i* _h s (t5 be5 read by him on ! same occasion2 ,i c\ld anticipate ! words :i* w\ld fall ^u my e> z we %\ld leave t s]vice toge!r1 rejoic+1 z he 0 wont to d1 t su* a s]vice _h be5 orda9$ = weak1 s5sual mortals1 to take _! s\ls sometimes away f fle% & s5se to ! unfett]$ contemplation ( heav5ly love4 ,fully d ,i realize1 t ! s5se ( loss is to gr[ ) e add$ day ( my exi/5ce2 no?+ c come ne> en\gh to supply x 9 ! lea/ degree2 no?+ else c become s a "p ( "o's own self4 ,?is consci\sness ( desolation mu/ press p]petually l a weight ^u my he>t1 z long z life la/s4 ,& yet h[ /range6 ,i g on1 & e ?+ goes on outw>dly z be=e4 ,i eat1 dr9k1 sleep1 talk1 & laugh ) o!rs1 :5ev] x is important = _! com=t to d s1 z if no?+ _h *ang$4 ,9 ! mid/ ( all1 ,i /op & ask myself1 ',am ,i dream+8' ,or is x really true t ,i am alone1--t t po9t has be5 actually pass$1 :i* 9 anticipation _h always seem$ impossible 9 ! possession ( any p[] ( action8 ,i h ?\ght t ! trial c\ld n be borne & s5se left6 ,b :y indulge myself 9 ?is /ra98 ,i f9d ,i _c write1 or ev5 ?9k1 connect$ly2 s ,i w /op4 ,y\r own ,,m>y4 ,language s /rong z ?is1 f a nature s calm z ,m>y ,w>e's1 means a great deal4 ,nor c we m>vel4 ,= :at a *ange is t ?r\gh :i* a true woman passes1--f wife to wid[6 ,is x n great] ?an ev5 ! fir/ *ange8 ,(t5 has ,m>y ref]r$ to ! diff]5ce1 :i* few c\ld feel z %e _h1 betwe5 h] =m] isolation z to natural ties1 & h] adoption into a l>ge & unit$ family circle4 ,b n[ %e felt ! *ange ?r\gh :i* %e 0 pass+ /ill m1--inasmu* z %e _h a m pr(\nd & p]vad+ s5se ( all t is compris$ 9 conjugal affections & p>5tal responsibilities4 ,& :ile none c h a high] /&>d ( duty & obligation1 v few h a meek] e/imate ( _! own p[]s2 p>ticul>ly z reg>ds ! c>e & ! tra9+ ( ,*ildr54 ,?is 0 to be n[ h] great "w1--! *ief object & anxiety ( h] rema9+ days4 ,& unfeign$ly did %e %r9k1 n f ! task1 b f ! va/ness ( ! tru/ & ! burd5 to be su/a9$ alone4 ,:5 ,i ?9k ( ?is l>ge family ( little *ildr5 to be left to my c>e1 in/ead ( 81 x requires a process ( ?\ght to feel s assur$ t ,god c br+ good out ( seem+ evil1 & "w out 8 purposes by ! weake/ in/rum5ts1 z to be able to calm ! ?robs ( anxiety1 & say1 ',peace1 be /ill6' to ! tr\bl$ _s4 ,true1 h] ideal 0 high1 & %e c\ld nev] be satisfi$ ) t :i* w\ld m ?an satisfy _m p>5ts4 ,ye>s be=e _h %e said ( "o ( h] *ildr53 ,= h] intellectual progress ,i h no anxiety1 t is1 s f> z ! acquisition ( k goes2 b h[ to cultivate ! moral1 s t x %all gov]n & guide ?is intellectual progress into ! "r *annels1 & e/abli% ! supremacy ( ! spiritual 9 ! "*1 ,i "k n4 ,aga91 %e exclaims3 ,& ^! are ,m>y ,pick>d's *ildr56 ,:5 ,i g back 9 recollection to ,pe>l ,/reet days1 to its long h\rs ( lone wat*+1 :5 my m9d dwelt ^u ! defici5cies ( my condition until x _h exagg]at$ to a m ?an e>?ly possibility ! happ9ess ( hav+ some?+ to love :i* w\ld satisfy ! desires ( my m9d & he>t1--& !n comp>e t long+ ) ! pres5t reality1--is x /range t ,i c sc>cely realize my id5tity ) t same lone "o8 ,! "t _h n[ come :5 %e 0 aga9 a lone "o4 ,& ?is is :at we w\ld say1--t ! lonel9ess :i* foll[s1 is f> great] ?an t :i* prec$es1 ! k & enjoym5t ( su* communion & coop]ation z %e _h kn[n4 ,nor is !re any ?+ inexplicable 9 ! fact1 t ! mo/ consci5ti\s1 ev5 ! /ronge/ 9 "* & highe/ 9 aim1 suff] mo/ f a s5se ( _! own defici5cies1 & use language :i* seems to _m exagg]at$ & h>dly s9c]e4 ,i am s p]petually oppress$1 writes ,m>y at ?is "t1 ) ! s5se ( no?+ness1 x is s v difficult = me to realize t ,i am to be reg>d$ ev5 by my *ildr5 z ! lead] 9 any matt]1 t x all b fright5s me to h any "o look to me z "o :o is expect$ to h "s influ5ce4 ,?is is no mock humility2 ,i ?9k z well ( myself z ,i des]ve4 ,i am aw>e t x gr[s 9 "s measure out ( ! newness ( my position1 & "k t "t & habit may br+ some:at diff]5t feel+s2 b x is only ^! :i* c d x1 & ,i mu/ suff] = a long "t yet f ?is z well z f ! o!r effects ( isolation4 ,we are ! m will+ to disclose su* feel+s1 9 connection ) su* "*1 f ! fact t ! _w is sev]e 9 its judgm5t ( ^?1 ^: affliction is n worn z a g>m5t or an alt]$ visage1 b ^: :ole aspect & demeanor1 ev5 _! occupations & app>5t enjoym5t ( life1 are ne>ly ! same z at o!r times4 ,at ! "t ( h] writ+ ! words :i* we la/ quot$1 ,mrs4 ,w>e _h j ex]t$ h]self to collect 9 h] own desolate home a little circle ( *ildr5 & y\? = _! social enjoym5t1 9 :i* %e freely m+l$1 & d\btless seem$ *e]ful & happy4 ,& yet %e said ( x soon aft]1 t at no mom5t s9ce h] trial _h %e felt s int5sely or suff]$ m poignantly4 ,e ^w 0 an ,h]culean labor2 & ,i 0 consci\s t all 7 di/urb$ by x4 ,= once1 ,i mu/ say1 ,i c\ld n help x4 ,& %all ,i tell y all my wick$ness8 ,i h 9 va9 tri$ to look at life ) suffici5t int]e/ to c>e ab\t liv+4 ,x has seem$ to me t my *ildr5 w\ld be z well )\t me1 z !y c\ld be "u my imp]fect guidance4 ,i c\ld n excite 9 myself any ( t ze/ 9 ! pursuit ( an object :i* alone c\ld satisfy ! he>t4 ,i felt homesick :5 ,i wak$ up 9 ! morn+1 & w\ld fa9 %ut my eyes & =get t !re 0 any ?+ = me to d4 ,h[ mu* %e did1 p>ticul>ly 9 reg>d to t :i* we see 0 mo/ ^u h] he>t1 ! c>e & culture ( h] *ildr5's m9ds1 w appe> 9 l>g] extracts :i* we make f lett]s ( ?is & ! previ\s ye>1 br\ght toge!r z ref]r+ to ! same great subject ( education & dome/ic discipl9e1--! fir/ hav+ be5 writt5 to h] husb&1 ! o!rs to h] *ildr54 ,my de> ,h5ry3 444 ,:5 ,i am left to ! sole c>e ( my family1 !re is no?+ t ex]cises my m9d m ?an ! "r p]=mance ( family wor%ip4 ,x seems to me t x ought to be m peculi>ly adapt$ to ! capacities ( *ildr5 ?an we are apt to make x4 ,= ! old] & well-educat$ "p ( a family1 o!r means ( in/ruction & communion ) ,god are op5 & acceptable e day2 b ! *ildr5 & dome/ics mu/ ( necessity dep5d ^u ?is ex]cise = ne>ly all ! religi\s influ5ces ( ! day4 ,! simplicity ( diction :i* w\ld fix ! att5tion ( ev5 little *ildr51 w\ld n be too pla9 = ! g5]ality ( dome/ics2 & we all feel t ! mo/ simple is (t5 ! mo/ sublime & affect+ expression 9 relation to ! s\l's connection ) its ,creator4 ,i ?9k1 !re=e1 t ! ma9 object %\ld be to excite 9 ! m9ds ( ^? pres5t "s cle> ideas1 :i* w be likely to /ay 9 _! m9ds ?r\gh ! day1 & "w !re to "s def9ite result2 & t ! *oice ( subjects %\ld gr[ z f> z possible out ( ! peculi> circum/ances ( ! family1--n m]ely ! g5]al1 b p>ticul> circum/ances4 ,= in/ance1 if !y are ab\t sep>at+1 to dwell ^u ! use to be made ( su* an ev5t1 rem9d+ u ( f9al sep>ation & ! t5d]ness :i* %\ld gr[ out ( t ?\ght t[>ds all t are left4 ,is "o *ild peculi>ly out ( humor8 ,x w d no h>m to any to be rem9d$ ( ! importance ( gov]n+ our passions2 &1 if done 9 ! "r way1 subdue ! rebelli\s _s m ?an any argum5ts4 ,s1 too1 ) reg>d to read+ ! ,scriptures2 x seems to me ! "t is all b lo/ if a famili>ity ( ! words only is ga9$1 & t ! book %\ld nev] be clos$ )\t hav+ ! att5tion fix$ ^u "s "o at lea/ ( ! useful passages read1 ei!r 9 ! way ( explanation or application to duty4444 ,i h n "t n[ to put into %ape half t is 9 my m9d1 b ,i really feel t we d n d ju/ice to our *ildr5 9 n act+ m directly ^u _! religi\s *>act]s e day4 ,9 _m in/ances1 ,i believe a wayw>d _s might be *eck$ by hav+ a useful curr5t ( ?\ght op5$ = x1 :i* w\ld take (f ! m9d f ! subject ( irritation4 99 99 99 99 99 ,de> ,e----3 444 ,look+ at affairs at home f a di/ance1 ,i see _m po9ts 9 :i* we ne$ improvem5t1 & ,i want to talk & read m ) y ^u ! subject ( education4 ,:5 we look back1 & see & feel h[ mu* ! circum/ances by :i* we 7 surr\nd$1 & ! treatm5t ( ^? ab\t u1 affect$ our views1 we mu/ br+ x home to ourselves t :at we are n[ do+ is hav+ ! same influ5ce ^u !m4 ,god has set u ap>t 9 families to m>k out = u a specific l9e ( duty2 & h[ev] we may wi% t our pa? _h be5 diff]5t1 or our duties less ardu\s1 z !y are ( ,8 appo9tm5t1 we h reason to believe !y are ! be/ = u4 ,! long] ,i live1 ! m ,i realize ! value ( love1 affectionate int]e/2 & ,i ?9k t _m ?+s1 :i* we are apt to consid] ( mom5t at ! "t1 ought to give way :5ev] !y int]f]e ) ! cultivation ( ! affections 9 *ildr54 ,disagreeable mann]s1 *ildi% ?\gh annoy+ ways1 may be rem$i$ 9 aft]-life1 & are1 aft] all1 matt]s ( v second>y importance 9 comp>ison ) ! gr[? ( love1 :i* is (t5 sacrific$ to !m4 ,to *ildr5 ! p]petual irritation ( a *eck 9 trifles keeps ! temp] 9 a turmoil1 &1 by _! /&>d1 makes small ?+s z important z great ones4 ,fault-f9d+ is blame to !m1 be ! subject :at x may1 & !y w h an association ( j>r+ & displeasure ) ^? :o keep x up1 let ! cause be ev] s small1 z la/+ z if x 7 l>g]4 ,we ne$ *ange 9 ?is ?+2 we want a m *e]ful atmosph]e1 a m affectionate1 int]e/$ "o1 9 :i* ! affections may gr[1 & h room to exp&4 ,i d believe 9 ,mrs4 ----'s doctr9e to a great ext5t1 t virtue ?rives be/ 9 an atmosph]e ( love4 ,we %\ld ga9 our object bett]1 if1 in/ead ( f9d+ fault ) an action1 we set ourselves to produce a bett] /ate ( feel+1 )\t notic+ ! action4 ,*ildr5 imitate ! mann]s ( _! eld]s1 m especially ( _! eld] bro!rs & si/]s2 = ( c\rse !y feel t !y are simil>ly situat$1 n always mak+ ! di/9ction ( age :i* is expect$ ( !m4 ,& ,i h always obs]v$ t ! y\ng] memb]s ( a h\sehold take _! tone f ! "* & ways ( ! fir/ 9 _! rank1 m ?an f _! p>5ts4 ,i c\ld "n _m in/ances ( ?is :i* h come "u y\r notice1 z well z m9e1 & x does1 z y say1 make ! responsibility ( an old] si/] great4 ,b d n feel t x is too great2 be cont5t$ ) do+ all t y c1 & n disc\rag$ because y _c satisfy y\r own conceptions4 ,x is be/ = u1 x is said1 to aim at p]fection2 ev5 if x is n to be atta9$1 x keeps up our ef=ts = some?+ high] & high]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,my de> ,e----3 444 ,! old say+1 t '*ildr5 w be *ildr51' might be improv$ by ! sub/itution ( '%\ld' = 'w4' ,i mean 9 ! s5se1 t _! natural *>act]s1 :i* are z diff]5t z _! faces1 ought to be educat$ gradually2 n requir+ ( "o *ild any ?+ because ano!r *ild does x1 to :om ! ?+ may be p]fectly easy1 or m ?an we c 9 ju/ice require ( !m at _! age1 9 consid]ation ( _! peculi> circum/ances4 ,we are to judge & discipl9e a *ild simply 9 ref]5ce to its own individual "* & circum/ances1 & deal ) x ) ! s+le view to ! improvem5t ( its individual "*1 r ?an to our own com=t or ev5 its ext]nal improvem5t4 ,n[1 ( c\rse1 ! application ( ?is pr9ciple1 9 detail1 involves a great deal ( ?\ght1 obs]vation1 & self-d5ial2 b if we really desire to d good1 & ?is opportunity ( do+ x is 9 our pa?1 c we engage 9 a "w ( m ext5sive good1 :5 we consid] h[ ^! *ildr5's *>act]s are to influ5ce a /ill l>g] circle1 & h[ great is our responsibility to future g5]ations z well z ! pres5t1 t we d all we c to prep>e ! way = _! be/ in/ruction8444 ,b to come d[n to our own case4 ,we all take too mu* notice ( m]e disagreeables4 ,! evil ( do+ ?is is obvi\s2 if ! *ild is dealt ) 9 ! same way = mak+ a noise1 or = c>elessness1 t x is = a moral del9qu5cy1 x soon le>ns to conf\nd moral di/9ctions2 & if x is frett$ by be+ p]petually talk$ to ab\t small ?+s1 x is easily work$ up to a /ate ( irritation :i* leads almo/ ins5sibly1 & c]ta9ly )\t any design1 to ! commission ( "s moral misdemeanor4 ,i ?9k we may (t5 see ?is ) all *ildr51 & x is v cle>1 9 su* a case1 t _! s9 is z mu* our fault z !irs4 ,we %\ld wat* our own /ate v c>efully1 & see h[ f> our desire to *eek !m gr[s out ( our own peculi> /ate at ! "t1 & h[ f> t influ5ces our view ( ! (f5ce4 ,we all "k t :at at "s times we feel to be a great annoyance1 is ( no consequ5ce to u at o!rs2 & = ! same reason1 9 a diff]5t physical /ate1 x is sometimes easi] = !m to control !mselves ?an at o!rs4 99 99 99 99 99 ,de> ,e----3 444 ,i ?9k x is good = "y p to h "s v>iety 9 life4 ,i suff]$ mu* f ! want ( x2 & ,i tru/ t y h too mu* good s5se & "r feel+ to be unreasonable 9 y\r wi%es1 or 9 any measure unfitt$ = ! duties & enjoym5ts ( home by ! indulg5ce4 ,i "k x has =m]ly be5 a great trial ( y\r pati5ce to pass f ! irresponsible position ( a visitor1 to ! occupations & responsibilities ( home4 ,b ,i tru/1 z y gr[ old] & look at life m & m ) a cle> appreciation ( its use & end1 y w take m & m delight 9 ! consci\sness ( liv+ = "s useful object2 &1 despite unpleasant accompanim5ts1 f9d1 9 us+ all y\r p[]s = ! good ( o!rs1 a pleasure beyond any to be d]iv$ f a m]e indulg5ce ( ta/e4 ,we _c1 & we _h c]ta9ly bett] n1 if we c\ld1 *oose our own lot 9 life2 we "k n 9 t matt] :at is be/ = u4 ,x is happily "u ! guidance ( a m p]fect wisdom ?an we c atta91 & we may re/ 9 fai? t our position 9 life is unque/ionably ! be/ "o = u1 or x w\ld n h be5 appo9t$4 ,!re=e1 de> ,e41 rememb] t ,he :o appo9t$ all 'kn[s :at is 9 man1' & 9 wisdom & love adapts our trials to our wants2 & ! v fact t su* & su* ?+s are p>ticul>ly h>d to be>1 is a pro( t we ne$ to cultivate j ^? virtues :i* w\ld make x easy to u to be> !m4 99 99 99 99 99 ,mo/ p ?9k x z well t ! "y %\ld 'fight _! own battles1' z !y t]m x1 & f9d _! own way out ( _! *ildi% tr\bles4 ,b ,i believe _m a "* is s]i\sly injur$ by ! want ( aid 9 its petty difficulties1 at t p]iod :5 ! "r pr9ciples ( action are mo/ easily taught2 !y are z necess>y to ! "r adju/m5t ( small matt]s z ( great4444 ,i d n ?9k z mu* z ,i once did ( ! loss ( con/ant int]c\rse 9 ! daily r\t9e ( life1 9 cultivat+ family affection4 ,i believe family atta*m5ts are sometimes increas$ by occasional sep>ation4 ,b ,i d ?9k a great deal ( ! loss1 to a girl1 ( all dome/ic education1 = ! :ole ( t p]iod :5 dome/ic occupations c be/ be le>n$4 ,( all objects 9 life !re is none m di/a/eful to me ?an a m]ely lit]>y woman2 no am\nt ( le>n+ is a fair balance1 9 my m9d1 = ! fem99e graces ( a true woman's "*4 ,x is n m]ely t %e looks bett]1 clean & tidy1 or t a c>eful use ( ! ne$le is a prev5tive ( wa/e 9 ! use ( means1--al?\gh ^! are consid]ations wor? weigh+4 ,b !re are int]nal graces connect$ ) ^! ext]nal habits2 & !re is no high] object = a woman's life ?an ! cultivation ( ^? p[]s :i* make ! com=t ( a well-ord]$ h\sehold4#e ,footnote #e3 ,a /rong ass]tion2 b x is evid5t t ,mrs4 ,w>e's idea ( a well-ord]$ h\sehold compris$ all t ! ,scriptures mean by ! direction1 ,set ?9e h\se 9 ord]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,decemb] #ca1 #ahdc4 ,! la/ day ( ?is mo/ ev5tful ye>6 ,de> ,annie1 h[ _m preci\s1 solemn ?\ghts does ! v writ+ its date sugge/6 ,9 all ! future ye>s ( our lives1 be !y _m or few1 no "o1 x n[ seems1 c br+ to u s great1 s affect+ a *ange 9 outw>d ?+s1 z ?is ye> :i* is j pass+ away4 ,x is n only t ! outw>d circum/ances ( our lives are to take a new c\rse1 because he has left u :o 0 to u ! lead+ & controll+ _s 9 all t p]ta9$ to our life 9 ?is _w1 b t we %all no long] feel ! p]petual action ( 8 "* 9 ! daily detail ( ! education ( our s\ls4444 ,y\r expressions ( disc\ragem5t & anxiety ab\t y\rself t\* me v mu*4 ,i c ent] fully into all y\r feel+s1 = at y\r age ,i 0 n only sep>at$ f ! lov$ circle & influ5ces ( home1 = a "t1 b ,i lo/ = ev] my *ief e>?ly dep5d5ce = aid & happ9ess 9 my "m's dea?4 ,?us1 be+ left to myself1 ,i 0 l$ to a self-inspection & c>e ( my own "*1 :i* d n usually come = _m ye>s aft]4 ,i "k all ! trials t beset "o's pa? at y\r age1 = ,i h _h deep exp]i5ce ( !m2 & ,i c say ) confid5ce to y1 t !y may all be ov]come by a resolute w1 unit$ to a true _s ( humility4 ,n1 p]haps1 9 "o ye> or two2 b ,i d "k t1 by ! p]sev]+ use ( ! means :i* ,god has plac$ )9 our rea*1 9 reliance ^u & e>ne/ seek+ ( ! aid :i* he w give1 we %all make progress 9 ! ,*ri/ian life1 ! only life :i* c give u any satisfaction4444 ,seek ! tru? 9 y\r own "*1 & see x 9 o!rs4 ,fix = y\rself a high /&>d ( excell5ce1 & nev] 'tire nor /op to re/1' until y h put y\rself 9 ! way to atta9 x4 ,/op n !n2 !re is no /opp+ 9 ?is _w 7or 9 ano!r1 ,i believe74444 ,look y\r great difficulties full 9 ! face2 seek n to gloss !m ov]1 or f9d excuses = !m4 ,y h !m z ! means ( excell5ce1 by giv+ y some?+ to d1 a mode ( apply+ ,*ri/ian pr9ciple4 ,use !m z su*1 & fa9t n4444 ,"o ?+ ,i w\ld sugge/4 ,y h be5 9 ! habit f e>lie/ *ildhood1 & ,i tru/ are /ill1 ( pray+ be=e y close y\r eyes to sleep4 ,i am n sure t y h always done ! same :5 y fir/ awake 9 ! morn+4 ,i "k t mu* good may be d]iv$ f ?us comm5c+ ! day ) "s private devotional ex]cise4 ,! "t giv5 to x mu/ ( c\rse dep5d ^u circum/ances2 yet !re _c b be1 "u any arrangem5t1 opportunity = at lea/ ! (f]+ ( a petition = light & /r5g?1 to meet ! duties & temptations ( ! day on :i* y are ent]+1 & a ?\ght & resolution 9 reg>d to "s p>ticul> fault to :i* y "k y may be prone4 ,i _c b believe1 t1 :5 ! day is s comm5c$1 !re is less dang] ( yield+ to temptation ?an if no su* act 7 p]=m$4 ,"o is p]plex$ to und]/& h[ ,mrs4 ,w>e1 :o neglect$ no duty1 f\nd "t to write s mu*2 = ! lett]s "h publi%$ are a small "p ( all %e wrote1 & sc>cely any d we publi% entire4 ,! explanation is1 t !y 7 writt5 aft] e ?+ else 0 done1 at night1 & v late 9 ! night4 ,x %[s ! /r5g? ( h] frame1 t %e c\ld foll[ ?is habit ?r\gh life1 till ne> ! end4 ,we suppose x to h be5 v r>e t %e 0 n up & at "w beyond midnight4 ,s 0 x p>ticul>ly dur+ ! w9t] aft] ,mr4 ,w>e's dea?2 :5 h] great solace & *ief occupation 7 f\nd 9 read+ & arrang+ ! imm5se mass ( 8 manuscripts & unf9i%$ works4 ,%e says 9 ,decemb]3 ,! s5se ( ! unc]ta9ty ( life1 :i* is always awak5$ by ! circum/ance ( dea?1 made me anxi\s to d a great deal ) respect to ,mr4 ,w>e's pap]s1 :i* no "o c\ld d z well z ,i2 ! day 0 too full ( movem5t to all[ an opportunity ( do+ ?is be=e ev5+1 & ,i f\nd myself night aft] night por+ ov] manuscripts until twelve1 "o1 & two o'clock1 = weeks toge!r4 ,?is is n m5tion$ z an example to be foll[$2 nor is !re reason to ?9k t x is ev] done ) entire impunity4 ,b ! "w to :i* %e ?us gave h]self1 ?r\gh t lone w9t]1 0 "o ( pure & high gratification4 ,x 0 a t\*+ employm5t1 n melan*oly4 ,?is liv+ life ov] aga91 :5 all its s&s h be5 'diamond-sp>ks1' n dazzl+1 b reflect+ ! bright hues ( heav51 _c be melan*oly2 x is b a type ( future bless$ness4 ,b n = h] own pleasure alone 0 ?is done4 ,%e _h yield$ to ! e>ne/ desire ( all ! fri5ds ( h] husb&1 t a ,memoir %\ld be writt51 & _m ( 8 lett]s & private pap]s giv5 to ! public4 ,n1 h[ev]1 )\t long delib]ation & great reluctance did %e give h] cons5t2 =1 z we h said 9 ! beg9n+ ( ?is "w1 x co/ a h>d /ruggle1 & ev5 agony1 to op5 to ! public eye t sacr$ inn] life :i* seem$ h] own1 & only h]s4 ,b "h1 z ev]y:]e1 %e soon conqu]$ all selfi% feel+1 &1 tak+ ! l>ge/ view ( usefulness & duty1 af=d$ e facility = a fai?ful exhibition ( su* a "*4 ,to h] son %e says3 ,i "k t1 if ! picture ( :at he 0 is to be a true "o1 x mu/ h all ^? beautiful lights & %ad[s ?r[n into x :i* come f ! light ( ! s\l2 & ,i hope to be able s to lay aside all p]sonal consid]ation1 z to d :at ought to be done 9 ?is reg>d to make ! "w z useful z x c be4 ,i tru/ y w feel s too4 ,9 our horror ( gossip1 d n let u g to ! o!r extreme1 & be too ext]nal & cold4 ,9 all su* relations1 x 0 a great "p ( h] pr9ciple & p[] ( action1 t %e _h entire fai? 9 h] husb&'s k ( h] motives2 ) ! add$ conviction1 t1 :atev] _h be5 8 ?\ghts & wi%es "u ! burd5 ( ! fle% & ( disease1 he 0 n[ look+ only at ! highe/ & broade/ aspect1 ! spiritual & et]nal issues ( e act4 ,h] communion ) 8 m9d seems to h be5 z habitual & actual z x is possible to conceive4 ,aga9 & aga9 does %e ref] to x1 & expresses regret & pa9 :5 a d\bt is rais$1 or a *eck giv5 to ! full1 cordial assurance ( ! fell[%ip ( ! _s4 ,& h] enjoym5t ( ?is ?\ght 0 nev] tr\bl$1 b r enhanc$1 by ! ?\ght ( ano!r1 ) :om ! %>] ( h] affections & h] exi/5ce 0 n[ reunit$ 9 heav54 ,di/9ctly does %e ref] to x1 9 writ+ to "o ( ! *ildr5 ( ^? p>5ts :o 7 n[ re/or$ to ea* o!r4 ,i nev] exp]i5c$ ! s5se ( cont9u$ union z fully z n[4 ,x may be vision>y1 b ,i "k x is b5eficial4 ,y\r "m & y\r fa!r are z mu* really pres5t ) me1 to my consci\sness1 z if ,scripture _h told me s1 x seems to me4 ,9 8 case1 x is b a cont9uation ( p]fect on5ess2 9 h]s1 x has always be5 ! s5se ( acc\ntabl5ess1 :i* has aid$ x4 ,we attempt no concealm5t ( our wi% to exhibit fully ?is r>e & beautiful feature ( a ,*ri/ian's fai? & love1--less r>e1 we w\ld fa9 believe1 9 ! reality ( its exi/5ce1 ?an 9 ! c\rage t av[s x4 ,we value x1 n only = its own sake1 9 a connection :]e x is ne$$ & may be ! s\rce ( peculi> happ9ess1 b also = ! evid5ce x af=ds ( ! p[] & glory ( our religion4 ,we f9d a lett] writt5 on ! fir/ anniv]s>y1 aft] ,h5ry ,w>e's dea?1 ( h] decease :o _h be5 ! object ( 8 e>lie/ atta*m5t1 & :om e lat] *ange1 9 life & dea?1 ende>$ ! m4 ,! lett] 0 writt5 to a *ild ( t dep>t$ "m4 ,fram+ham1 ,febru>y #e1 #ahdd4 ,,my ,,de> ,,john3-- ,i always feel1 :5 ,i get y\r lett]s1 z if ,i want$ to sit d[n & write to y at once1 s mu* h ,i 9 my m9d t ,i wi% to communicate to y1 & s mu* d ,i enjoy free communication ) y4 ,y may ?ank y\r />s t ,i d n give way to my incl9ation1 = y w\ld h m pros+ ?an y w\ld c>e to read4 ,i am tempt$ n[ to dep>t f my usual cu/om ( writ+ only once a =tnight1 because ,i feel s mu* ! want ( "s "o ) :om to commune ^u ! subject :i* _c b occupy my m9d ^u ?is day4 ,x is ! fir/ "t = sev5te5 ye>s t ,i h n _h a delightful conv]sation ) y\r de> fa!r ^u ! ev5t ( :i* x is ! anniv]s>y4 ,i lov$ to he> him tell me ( y\r "m1 = x help$ to /r5g!n ! feel+ :i* ,i h lov$ to *]i%1 ! s5se ( responsibility to h] 9 my connection ) h] *ildr54 ,& h] "* 0 s f9e a "o1 & h] e>ly exp]i5ces s mu* l my own1 t ,i always felt t ,i ga9$ wisdom z well z pleasure 9 contemplat+ x4444 ,i h (t5 wi%$ ,i c\ld convey to y\r m9d1 )\t ! int]v5tion ( words1 :at ,i felt to be ! t5d]ness ( ! relation 9 :i* ,i /ood to y2 = my views & feel+s h always be5 s diff]5t f :at ,i f9d to be g5]al1 t x 0 n to be expect$ t y %\ld und]/& !m )\t su* communication4 ,f ! v comm5cem5t ( my connection ) y\r fa!r1 ,i h realiz$ ! tru? ( my long-*]i%$ !ory1 t ! /r5g? ( "o affection does n int]f]e 9 ! lea/ ) ! /r5g? ( ano!r2 we love n "o bro!r or si/] or *ild ! less because we h ano!r to love2 if !re is any diff]5ce 9 ! degree1 x arises f o!r causes ?an numb]2 & ,i "k n :y x %\ld n be ! same 9 all relations1 :]e ! s\l is l>ge en\gh to take s wide a range4 ,i w\ld ?ank ,god = ?is special bless+ 9 addition1 ,i might almo/ say above all o!rs1 = )\t x all o!rs w\ld h _h a bitt] +r$i5t4 ,x has be5 "o ( ! pure/ s\rces ( happ9ess1 t we c\ld dwell toge!r ^u ! memory ( h] :o _h gone1 & feel an equal anxiety & int]e/ 9 fulfill+ h] wi%es t[>ds h] & our *ildr54 ,) ! love ( y\r ,"m4 ,"o o!r lett] we give f ,fram+ham1 address$ to ! same son1 9 relation to ! fir/ exp]i5ces & disc\ragem5ts ( ! m9i/ry4 ,its pla9 good s5se may be ( use to "s o!r beg9n]s1--confirm$ z x is by ! fact disclos$ 9 x1 t "s ( ! /ronge/ m9ds & mo/ successful m9i/]s h suff]$ 9 ! same way4 ,fram+ham1 ,m>* #ae1 #ahdd4 ,,my ,,de> ,,john3-- 444 ,i turn n[ to t = :i* ,i mo/ wi%$ to write1--y\r pres5t anxieties 9 y\r pr(essional duties4 ,i _c inde$1 z y say1 help y1 z he c\ld h done1 b ,o h[ fully c ,i sympa?ize ) y6 ,x is to my m9d only ! reit]ation ( :at ,i h s (t5 he>d f him2 ev5 aft] ! t5 ye>s' exp]i5ce :i* he _h _h :5 ,i fir/ 0 p>tak] ( 8 joys & sorr[s1 he suff]$ at times z y d n[2 & ! details he has giv5 me ( 8 trials :5 he 0 fir/ settl$ w\ld equal1 if n exce$1 y\rs4 ,y may dep5d ^u x1 de> ,john1 y\rs is a common exp]i5ce ( all "y m9i/]s :o h feel+ & s5sibility en\gh to be really good m9i/]s2 & y mu/ n be disc\rag$ by ?9k+ y\r difficulties gr[ out ( peculi> disabilities4 ,i rememb] he>+ a p>i%ion] ( ,mr4 ,buckm9/] say1 t he felt s mu* 8 incapacity to adm9i/] com=t to ! sick & afflict$1 t x 0 di/ress+ to see him 9 a sick-room4 ,i wi% y c\ld talk freely ) "s m9i/]s ab\t x4 ,i h no d\bt y w\ld f9d x m or less s ) all1 accord+ to _! natural temp]am5t4 ,z ,i h said aga9 & aga91 x is well to keep "o's consci5ce & s5sibilities t5d]2 x is well to realize "o's defici5cies to ! ext5t ( mak+ u humble & en]getic to improve1 b n to make u despond or be disc\rag$2 =2 'fa9t he>t nev] won' ! prize ( goodness1 any m ?an ( ! less spiritual objects4 ,i "k :at x is to feel t m is expect$ ( "o ?an c be accompli%$2 & x is1 ,i grant1 ( all ?+s ! mo/ di/ress+4 ,b we mu/ %ut our eyes to all su* consid]ations1 & g on1 look+ only to ! /&>d we h 9 our own m9ds1 /riv+ ) all dilig5ce to rea* t1 & be satisfi$ ) /riv+1 if x be b real1 he>ty endeavor4444 ,i rememb] !re 7 "s passages 9 ,taylor's ',holy ,liv+1' :i* us$ to be a great help to me 9 y\r /ate ( m9d4 ,i h n ! book by me1 & _c quote ! words4 ,f5elon1 too1 has mu* com=t = "o ?us tri$4444 ,we =get1 9 our famili>ity ) :at seem 'commonplaces1' t !y really conta9 ! great1 fundam5tal pr9ciples f :i* all /r5g?1 all consolation1 is to be d]iv$2 & ( c\rse1 :5 ! vision is quick5$ by pres5t ne$1 !y all seem to be wor? m ?an at any o!r "t4 ,& z to ! o!r po9t1 x is n y t speak1--y are only ! m$ium by :i* ! tru?s :i* ,god spake are convey$ to ! outw>d e>2 y are only ,8 in/rum5t1 &1 :ile y are to seek to supply y\rself ) a full portion f ! f\nta9 ( all tru?1 y are to be satisfi$ to pres5t x z ,81 n y\r own2 sympa?iz+ z a fell[-,*ri/ian1 n dictat+ z a lead] & guide4 ,i see no o!r way 9 :i* a "y1 inexp]i5c$ m9i/] c h any com=t 9 t dep>tm5t ( 8 duties4 ,_m reasons come to me :i* may acc\nt = ! great] difficulty 9 cases ( sickness1 ?an 9 b]eavem5t4 ,truly y\r ,"m4 ,:ile look+ = a place ( p]man5t resid5ce = h]self & family1 ) an opportunity ( do+ some?+ = _! support1 ,mrs4 ,w>e receiv$ an e>ne/ invitation f a g5tleman 9 ,milton1 to g !re & take ! in/ruction ( ?ree little *ildr51 9 connection ) h] own1 = two or ?ree h\rs a day4 ,on _m acc\nts1 %e 0 incl9$ to accept ?is (f] at once4 ,b %e look$ well at all sides ( x1 & especially at its moral aspect & probable influ5ce ^u "*4 ,"o is /ruck ) h] pla9 & practical1 yet compreh5sive & exalt$ view ( ! "q1 :]e s _m w\ld h look$ only at ! imm$iate & tangible advantage4 ,!re are _m ?+s to be weigh$ be=e s great a /ep is tak54 ,exp5se is ( c\rse a great item1 b n ! greate/4 ,! influ5ces ^u my *ildr5 mu/ be ! fir/1 usefulness ! second1 & ! possibility ( liv+ )\t debt a s9e qua non any:]e4 ,n[ ,i am n a v romantic p]son1 & am n dispos$ to live "u any less ref9+ influ5ces ?an ,i c help4 ,b my *ildr5 are de/9$ to "w = _! liv+1 & ,i wi% to h !m z happy 9 do+ s z "r pr9ciples & a heal?y tone ( m9d c make !m4 ,! result ( full reflection 0 favorable to ! plan2 & ! wisdom ( h] decision1 :ile x affect$ all h] rema9+ days1 became m & m manife/ to ! end4 ,f t mom5t %e _h a new object1 dem&+ & creat+ new en]gies4 ,i already see h[ ,i %all be a great ga9] by ?is plan1 9 ! /r5g? ( ! /imulus x w (f] to m5tal ef=t4 ,9 fact1 ,i beg9 to realize t ,i am m exhau/$ m5tally ?an ,i am physically1 by ! anxieties ( ! pa/1 & absolutely ne$ ! application ( salut>y m5tal m$ic9es1 z my body w\ld ( physical1 if x _h suff]$ 9 proportion4 ,?us ano!r *ange 0 to be made1--& ! la/1 9 a life ( *ange4 ,x co/ an ef=t4 ,?is fir/ go+ =? alone1 to be> new responsibilities1 to make a new exp]im5t1 unaid$ by 8 /r5g?1 unassi/$ by 8 wisdom1--?is is inde$ to realize ! loss ( 8 companion%ip z ,i h n done be=e4 ,b t bless$ fai?6 t fai? 9 ,him :o is '! /r5g? ( ! lonely1'--,i h a tru/ t x w be suffici5t = me1 al?\gh ,i _c n[ see h[4 ,a few l9es to "o ( h] *ildr51 z ! la/ record on t sacr$ spot1 closes ! life at ,fram+ham4 ,m>* #bf1 #ahdd4 ,i ?9k y w l to h a few words writt5 f ?is room1 consecrat$ z x is to u1 by hav+ be5 ! la/ e>?ly home ( de> fa!r's _s4 ,?is is ! la/ "t ,i %all sit 9 ?is spot2 & ,i feel z if all ! memories ( ! pa/ 7 conc5trat$ 9 ?is mom5t ( "t4 ,h[ mu* d !y tell ( ! peaceful & holy life :i* 0 "h clos$2 h[ mu* recall ( t triumphant /ruggle ) ! weakness ( humanity6 ,de> *ild1 may we nev] lose ! influ5ce ( ^? la/ days pass$ 9 ?is place2 may x /r5g!n1 enc\rage1 quick5 u to all dilig5ce 9 our ,*ri/ian w>f>e2 kn[+ t1 if we /rive z he did1 we too may ent] into t re/ :i* we d\bt n he has atta9$4 ,?is is a holy h\r1--?is leav+ ! ?+s t are beh9d1 & /epp+ =w>d into a new1 untri$ sc5e ( life's discipl9e1--alone1--& yet n alone1 = ! ,fa!r is ) me4 ,,xiii4 ,,life ,,9 ,,milton4 ,life 9 ,milton is a v diff]5t ?+ to me1 if y are "h or else:]e2 b ,i w>n y aga9/ lett+ me cl+ to y\r sympa?y1 z ,i may if y give me s mu* ( x4 ,i h su* a s5se ( vacuum 9 life1 t ,i am 9 dang] ( lean+ ^u any "o :o w let me lean ^u him2 & my s5se ( impair$ p[]s is s con/ant & oppressive1 t ,i ne$ to be driv5 to action1 r ?an sp>$ x1 to r\se my en]gies4 ,?is is no false mode/y2 ,i am sure t ,i am n myself2 ,i h n yet come to act freely 9 my new position 9 life2 ,i am n 'at home1'--%all ,i ev] be 9 ?is _w8 ,?us did ,m>y ,w>e write to a fri5d & true sympa?iz]1 ^: resid5ce 9 ,milton 0 "o ( ! great inducem5ts t _h drawn h] to t place4 ,%e _h be5 !re b a %ort "t1 & _h n yet ris5 f ! complete exhau/ion ( body & m9d--! effect ( ye>s ( solicitude1 ex]tion1 & suff]+--= :i* %e made too little all[ance4 ,%e _h be5 m ?an mortal1 if %e _h n felt ! effect1 especially 9 ! inevitable reaction :5 ! great anxiety & dem& ceas$4 ,%e w\ld n all[ t or any ?+ to plead = h]2 & h] dang] 01 z we h se51 t ( =gett+ ! design$ & necess>y sympa?y betwe5 body & m9d4 ,%e did n always =get x4 ,h] balanc$ m9d l$ h] to suspect ! true cause ( ! *ange t _h come ov] h]2 & %e confess$ t :at %e _h call$ a /roke ( m5tal p>alysis 0 only physical1 ?\gh affect+ = a "t all ! p[]s4 ,/ill %e 0 incl9$1 ?r\gh its own unconsci\s influ5ce1 to give x a diff]5t "n4 ,i d\bt n y w smile at my quick s5sibility to e ?+ :i* is likely to injure myself2 & ,i am deeply conv9c$ t ,i am gr[+ m & m selfi%4 ,selfi% 9 moral s5sibility6 ,may we n be in/ruct$ by ?is1 z by ! o!r aspects ( h] ev5tful life8 ,!re is good s5se 9 ! pleasantry ( h] words to ,emma n long be=e1 9 reg>d to p[]4 ,i sometimes wond] :e!r y & ,i are do+ ourselves or our con/itu5ts ju/ice1--:e!r we d n attempt too mu*1 to d any ?+ z x _h be/ be done1--:e!r we secure suffici5t repose ( m9d to keep our judgm5ts cle>1 our ?\ghts bright1 & ! supply ( m5tal food :at x ought to be to enable u to h ! be/ influ5ce ( :i* we are capable4 ,! fir/ lett] :i* we f9d dat$ at ,milton discloses mu* bo? ( ! inw>d & ! outw>d /ate4 ,milton1 ,june #aa1 #ahdd4 ,,de> ,n----3 ,y h no d\bt expect$ long ago to he> f me4 ,y _h a "r to d s1 & mu/ h wond]$ at my sil5ce1 z ,i c\ld n b "k h[ mu* y mu/ wi% to he> ( our new life4 ,b ,i h purposely =borne to write2 ,i c\ld n h address$ myself to y1 )\t utt]+ all t 0 pass+ 9 my m9d & he>t2 & s p]fectly *aotic has be5 ! /ate ( my feel+s1 t ,i 0 sure x 0 be/ to wait until "t & exp]i5ce _h arrang$ & quiet$ !m1 be=e ,i tru/$ myself to ! slighte/ expression4 ,x 0 z if ! f\nta9s ( ! great deep ( my s\l 7 brok5 up1 & ! wat]s 7 ov]:elm+ e p[] & faculty4 ,i ?\ght ,i _h anticipat$ ! :ole am\nt ( suff]+ :i* my isolation 0 to br+ to me1 & va9ly imag9$ t ,i 0 prep>$ to meet x ) a firm m9d2 b no?+ b exp]i5ce c picture ! agoniz+ s5se ( desolation1 :i* ent]+ ^u a new life1 unaid$ by ! sympa?y t has be5 s long ! light ( life1 br+s to me4 ,no?+ 9 life c come ne> x1 unless x be ! homesickness ( a little *ild1 :5 = ! fir/ "t x f9ds itself 9 new sc5es )\t its "m's pres5ce4 ,at ,fram+ham ,i 0 b liv+ out ! plan ( life :i* we _h =m$ toge!r2 ! s5se ( association 0 n = a mom5t lo/1 & x 0 comp>atively easy to realize ! cont9u$ pres5ce ( ! _s4 ,b on leav+ t home1 ,i seem$ = ! fir/ "t to be ca/ ^u ! _w alone1 & e mom5t's exp]i5ce 9 ,bo/on & else:]e only increas$ ?is feel+1 until x rea*$ its height 9 ! necessity ( =m+ "h a new plan ( exi/5ce1 "u circum/ances ( great responsibility1--alone4 ,i us$ to ?9k ,i felt all ( lonel9ess t c\ld be felt1 9 t little *amb] 9 ,pe>l ,/reet1 & t humble cottage 9 ,osmo!rly2 b t 0 no?+ to ?is4 ,i _h !n nev] kn[n :at p]fect sympa?y 02 ,i c\ld n und]/& z ,i n[ d its loss4 ,i h be5 a puzzle to myself2 b ,i /ill am sure t ,i w\ld n *ange1 "o iota1 ! decree ( ,heav54444 ,we came hi!r ! la/ week 9 ,april1 & f9d ev]y?+ pleasant1 & e body k9d4 ,z f> z ,i c yet see1 ,i ?9k ,i anticipat$ v truly ! pros & cons ( ! case1 n except+ my own incapacity = ! employm5t4 ,"o w\ld laugh at ! idea ( a woman ( =ty-five d\bt+ h] capacity to tea* *ildr5 _! lett]s2 b ! intellectual is ! lea/ "p ( ! conc]n to my view1 & ,i /ill ?9k ,i h no tact = ! education ( *ildr54 ,! little ,i c d = my own is ?r\gh ! connection :i* nature has e/abli%$1 n a p[] ( my own acquisition4 ,i h det]m9$ to try ! exp]im5t = a ye>1 & ! result only c decide ! "q ( ! exp$i5cy ( pursu+ x ano!r ye>4 ,i mu/ consid] ! good ( my own *ildr5 fir/1 ( c\rse4444 ,my "t is entirely fill$1 f e>ly ris+ to v late sitt+4 ,! only "t ,i c take = writ+ is at night :5 all are 9 b$1 & ,i ought to be2 = ! con/ant bu/le ( *ildr5 we>ies my head mu*4 ,y\rs1 z ev]1 lov+ly4 ,m4,l4,w4 ,s f> f m5tal infirmity or loss1 ! m9d ( ,mrs4 ,w>e 0 nev]1 we %\ld say1 m active or en]getic ?an at ?is "t1 z soon z %e 0 :olly re/$4 ,x is obvi\s1 inde$1 t ! gr[? ( ! m9d _h kept pace 9 h]1 z 9 _m1 ) ! gr[? ( ! affections & high] aspirations4 ,9 su* a "* & life1 m5tal & spiritual are ne>ly synonym\s4 ,! spiritual _h be5 always 9 ex]cise1 %>ply discipl9$ & exp&$4 ,& ?us *iefly1 ?us only1 we may almo/ say1 _h %e advanc$ m5tally4 ,= %e 0 n a /ud5t4 ,no p]iod ( h] life _h p]mitt$ h] to be an ext5sive or habitual read]4 ,p]sons1 & n books1 ev5ts & exp]i5ces1 7 h] /udy4 ,%e lo/ no opportunity ( direct in/ruction1 b %e made x subs]vi5t1 or r concomitant1 ) o!r engagem5ts & positive duty4 ,& no bett] m5tal discipl9e1 p]haps1 c\ld %e h _h1 9 connection ) ! communion %e enjoy$ ) ! be/ m9ds1 & ! lessons ( h] lot4 ,we see ! effect1 & ! progress1 cont9ually4 ,!re is a /rik+ diff]5ce betwe5 h] e>li] & lat] lett]s4 ,we h felt1 9 fact1 t inju/ice may h be5 done1 9 giv+ s _m ( n only ! e>ly1 b ! un/udi$ & hurri$1 productions ( "o s press$ & unpret5d+4 ,b !y all s]ve to %[ h] z %e 04 ,if we mi/ake n1 vigor r ?an feebl5ess w be se5 9 h] rem>ks ^u t va/ & inexhau/ible subject1 :i* n[ engag$ h] mo/1--education4 ,%e _h always ?\ght h]self incompet5t to tea*2 & no burd5 or responsibility did %e feel m pa9fully1 ?an t ( op5+1 furni%+1 & guid+ ! m9ds ( *ildr54 ,?is c nev] seem a light or easy task1 unless to ! sup]ficial 9 self-k & consci5ti\sness4 ,:]e ! religi\s pr9ciple & ! moral aim are l h]s1 we c und]/& any confessions ( humility or di/ru/1 9 view ( su* a "w2 & we d n d\bt ! entire s9c]ity ( ! fe> %e m ?an once express$1 t %e _h almo/ done wrong 9 giv+ up ! reluctance %e at fir/ felt to assume ! (fice ( a wife & "m1 on acc\nt ( h] disqualification = s great a *>ge4 ,& n[ t x _h become an undivid$ *>ge1 n[ t h] *ildr5 7 left to h] alone1 & %e _h engag$ to be _! tea*] & sole gu>dian1 %e felt t ! duty1 ! solicitude1 & ! happ9ess ( h] life 7 c5tr$ !re4 ,o my de> *ild6--%e exclaims1 9 address+ "o ( !m1 & ref]r+ to all1--:5 ,i ?9k ( :at y may be1 my he>t beats almo/ impati5tly to /ret* =w>d2 = if life is ev] aga9 to h any ze/ to me1 ev] to seem l life1 x mu/ be ?r\gh ! successful /ruggles ( my *ildr54 ,on !m ,i n[ mu/ rely = all ,i c enjoy ( ?is _w2 _! affection1 _! "*1 mu/ be my sole dep5d5ce4 ,9 a lett] to ,emma1 a little lat]1 %e speaks ( h] suff]+ f ! real or imag9$ loss ( p[]1 p>ticul>ly 9 ref]5ce to ! "y4 ,i sometimes ?9k t "s /range *ange has tak5 place 9 my 'physical'2 = ,i _c o!rwise acc\nt = ! torpor :i* hangs ov] my m9d4 ,all ! little animation ,i ev] _h seems to h dep>t$2 &1 al?\gh my m9d is cr[d$ ) ?\ghts1 !y are a dead lett] :5 ,i attempt to use !m = purposes ( conv]sation4 ,i feel ?is to be a great evil 9 my int]c\rse ) *ildr54 ,to be sure1 _! own inexhau/ible spirits are mo/ly suffici5t to _! happ9ess2 yet !y ne$ sympa?y1 n =mally express$1 b exi/+ 9 ! atmosph]e ab\t !m4 ,i ?9k ,i h felt ! want all my life ( a m *e]ful home 9 e>ly *ildhood1 a full] p>ticipation 9 ! pleasures & 'follies' ( y\?4 ,i want to h my *ildr5 rememb] _! home z ! happie/ spot1 because ! mo/ sympa!tic z well z ! mo/ lov+4 ,( ,mrs4 ,w>e's sev5 *ildr51 all1 except+ ! olde/ son1 made "p ( ! family circle1 ) occasional abs5ces at s*ool4 ,to "o ( ! daught]s :o 0 abs5t mo/1 !re are _m lett]s conta9+ well-def9$ ?\ghts on intellectual & moral discipl9e1 & disclos+ m fully ! fact ( h] own trials ( temp] 9 e>ly life1 to :i* we h be=e allud$1 b :i* _m f9d x difficult to believe4 ,f ^! lett]s we take ! passages t foll[1 ! fir/ relat+ to a visit to ,fram+ham4 ,milton1 ,octob] #a1 #ahdd4 ,o1 ,i did s enjoy be+ ^u t sacr$ spot1 liv+ ov] aga91 z we c sc>cely d b by ! p[] ( association1 all ! details ( ! holy "t ( :i* t day 0 ! anniv]s>y6 ,i felt t x /r5g!n$ my fai? & tru/1 t ,i c\ld recall !re some?+ ( ! gratitude :i* ,i felt :5 t we>y _s 0 j emancipat$4 ,i _h ne$$ ?is2 = z ! c>es & responsibilities ( life h press$ m & m ^u me e day ,i h s9ce liv$1 _! accumulat$ weight 0 beg9n+ to keep d[n & obscure t bright] vision :i* fai? !n reveal$4 ,i _h a delightful walk alone 9 ! woods1 recall+ ! sweet words :i* ,i _h _h ) de> fa!r :5 we /roll$ ?r\gh ^? woods toge!r4 ,h[ /rong is ! p[] ( association6 ,i f\nd t p>ticul> spots reviv$ ?\ghts :i* he _h utt]$ :5 !re1 :i* p]haps ,i %\ld nev] aga9 h recall$1 else:]e4 99 99 99 99 99 ,octob] #ah1 #ahdd4 444 ,i h det]m9$1 z a fix$ pr9ciple1 n to g beyond my income1 = any ?+ %ort ( necessity1 & x is a delicate "q to settle :at necessity is4 ,i *oose to take x = grant$ t !re nev] c be a "q 9 any ( our m9ds1 t ta/e is to be held 9 subjection to pr9ciple1 & ,i am n only will+1 b desir\s1 to indulge ta/e1 )9 t limitation1 to ! utmo/ b\nds ( my ability4 ,i ?9k a ref9$ ta/e has an indirect1 b c]ta9 influ5ce ^u morals2 & ,i nev] c believe t "o ( my *ildr5 w ev] = an in/ant be pa9$ at any re/ra9t put ^u !m by a necessity :i* ,god has orda9$4 ,i h great sympa?y ) ! /ruggles ( "y p 9 ?is matt]4 ,i well rememb] h[ (t5 ,i _h to s*ool myself 7= y "k t _m ( my associates 9 e>ly life 7 ( ! weal?y classes71 :5 ,i saw my companions gratify+ e wi% = amusem5t1 in/ruction1 & dress1 :ile ,i c\ld only j keep dec5t en\gh n to %ock !m1 & _h to give up all my long+s = exp5sive amusem5ts & accompli%m5ts4 ,b ,i _h ?is great advantage1 by mix+ famili>ly ) ! ri*1--,i soon discov]$ t nei!r goodness nor happ9ess 7 dep5d5t ^u ^! adv5titi\s circum/ances1 & ,i 0 s =tunate 9 ! *>act]s ( ^? :om ,i ?us dealt )1 z to be made to feel v e>ly 9 life t my own position among !m 0 n 9 ! lea/ degree affect$ by ext]nals4 ,i soon began to look ^u my (t-turn$ dress ) some?+ l pride1 c]ta9ly ) great complac5cy2 & to see 9 t1 & all o!r m>ks ( my "m's prud5ce & consi/5cy1 only s _m pro(s ( h] dignity & self-respect1--! dignity & self-respect :i* grew out ( h] j e/imate ( ! true & ! "r 9 h]self & 9 ! _w4 ,i c di/9ctly rememb] com+ to ?is conclusion ^u ! occasion ( we>+ an old-fa%ion$1 /iff1 purple silk dress1 ) a n>r[ plait$ tuck] 9 x1 to a p>ty at ,colonel ,p----'s1 ab\t ! ye> #ahjh2 ,i h nev] _h any tr\ble on t score s9ce4 ,i did %$ "s te>s1 :5 ,i f\nd ,i mu/ give up my long-*]i%$ hope ( le>n+ music1 "s ye>s aft]1 b !y 7 'natural te>s1' & 'wip$ soon4' ,b ,i h become g>rul\s1 talk+ ab\t my y\? 7z old p are apt to71 & h w&]$ f ! case 9 h&4 99 99 99 99 99 ,novemb] #h1 #ahdd4 ,i feel t ,i mu/ h "s free communication ) y1 = my he>t is full to ov]fl[+4 ,t ,i c und]/& all y\r int]nal trials1 ,i h (t5 assur$ y2 &1 /range z x may seem to y1 x is f exp]i5ce t ,i am enabl$ to ent] into !m4 ,9 ! solitude ( my e>ly days1 ! consci\sness ( unwor?9ess prey$ ^u my _s1 until ,i p]suad$ myself t e body despis$ me1 t ,i 0 no?+ to any "o1 t nobody c\ld c>e = me = my own sake4 ,_m & _m a night h ,i la9 & ?\ght ( ?is1 & look$ at life ?r\gh ?is m$ium1 until ,i wi%$ t ,i _h nev] liv$1 & 9 my agony h cri$ myself into p]fect hy/]ics4 ,ev5 my "m's love fail$ to satisfy me1 = ,i ?\ght x 0 only an involunt>y feel+ = an only *ild1 n dep5d+ ^u or gr[+ out ( my own des]ts4 ,o1 h[ _m preci\s h\rs ( life h ,i ?r[n away 9 uselessness to o!rs1 & 9 mis]y = myself1 by ?is morbid s5sibility6 ,w\ld t ,i c\ld recall !m6 ,w\ld t my example might w>d (f f y l regrets6 ,i _h suff]$ _m ye>s f ?is cause be=e ,i discov]$ ! true s\rce ( my trial1 or caught a glimpse ( its rem$y4 ,& :5 at la/ x fla%$ ^u me1 t x 0 ! want ( true ,*ri/ian humility1 n ! real conviction ( inf]iority1 :i* l$ to all ?is1 ,i c\ld n at once cr$it my own consci\sness2 & _m & sev]e 7 ! m5tal ex]cises by :i* ,i 0 l$ at la/ to und]/& & feel ! tru?4 ,i believe ?is to h be5 a con/itutional t5d5cy2 & h[ev] mu* ! demon may h be5 br\ght "u subjection1 !re h be5 times all along life1 t x has s /riv5 = ! ma/]y1 t ,i h fe>$ x might conqu]4 ,b kn[+ "o's dang] is m ?an half ! security aga9/ x1 & ,i h ga9$ 9 happ9ess m ?an a comp5sation = ! w>f>e4 444 ,:5 we f9d ourselves di/urb$ 9 _s1 we v naturally ref] to ! excit+ cause z an excuse = x2 & h[ev] we may blame ourselves1 we /ill feel t ^? ^: wrong-do+ irritates u are really ! mo/ to blame4 ,b we mu/ get away f ?is view ( ?+s1 if we ev] hope to improve ourselves4 ,z long z we live 9 ! _w1 we are to live ) ^? :o d wrong4 ,we c nev] be p]fect1 nor c we f9d o!rs :o are2 & our c>e %\ld be1 to le>n s to control ourselves1 t n only %all we cease to be tempt$ to d wrong by _! wrong-do+1 b also cease to tempt !m by our own4 ,& :o c d\bt t ! be/ hope ( improv+ !m is by %[+ !m ! advantage ( self-control8 99 99 99 99 99 ,decemb] #ab1 #ahdd4 ,i feel t y h begun ! great "w ( self-education ) a resolute w & ,i pray ,god to give y /r5g? to pursue x )\t falt]+4 ,i d n expect1 & y mu/ n expect1 t all c be done at a /roke4 ,a :ole life is too little = ! atta9m5t ( all we desire2 b hav+ fairly set ourselves at "w1 let u g on hopefully1 *e]fully1 labor+ dilig5tly1 'kn[+ t we %all reap1 if we fa9t n'2 & rememb]+ t1 z we asc5d1 ! prospect wid5s be=e u4 ,& al?\gh we may be tempt$ to be disc\rag$1 z we see m & m to be done1 we are to look back ^u ! pa? we h trodd51 & measure ! /eps we h tak51 & f9d com=t & enc\ragem5t 9 ! pa/1 = ! future4 ,g on1 9 ! fe> & love ( ,god1 9 ! pa? :i* he has m>k$ out1 ! pa? ( "r pr9ciple1--& fe> n1--all w be well4 99 99 99 99 99 ,janu>y #a1 #ahde4 444 ,i c sc>cely realize t ! ye> has come to an end1 s little h ,i m>k$ ! progress ( "t dur+ its passage2 & yet x has witness$ a great *ange outw>dly4 ,b h[ little does m]e outw>d circum/ance affect ! life )91--h[ d we c>ry ourselves ) u ev]y:]e6 ,does n ?is fact ( exp]i5ce help u to anticipate some?+ ( future retribution8 ,! pa/ ye> has be5 to me "o ( su* con/ant1 trem5d\s /ruggle1 t 9 look+ back ^u x ,i seem to see no?+ b ! heav+ ( ! waves ^u :i* my _s _h be5 to/4 ,& yet ,i _c lose sight ( ! _m bright spots1 ! _m & great bless+s ) :i* my life has be5 *e]$4 ,h[ %\ld we praise & ?ank ,god t our circle has n aga9 be5 brok51--t we are bless$ ) su* k9d fri5ds1 & ! means ( improvem5t & usefulness6 ,z ,i look =w>d into ! unc]ta9 future1 ,i sometimes feel z if ,i long$ to "k h[ x w be ) u at ?is h\r next ye>2 b a glance at ! possible picture makes me ready to exclaim1 ',o bl9dness to ! future1 k9dly giv56' ,i feel z if "s great *ange may come1 b ,i c leave ! :ole to ,him :o w direct x "r4444 ,h[ fully d ,i respond to ! feel+ y express ( desire to see de> fa!r once m4 ,sometimes1--,i "k n h[1--= an in/ant an oblivion ( ! pa/ comes ov] me1 & ! feel+ ( 8 tempor>y abs5ce returns z ( old :5 he _h gone a j\rney1 z if ,i c\ld n wait1 b mu/ see him soon4 ,:y is n our fai? 9 ! unse5 suffici5t to satisfy ^! long+s8 ,:y d we n realize m fully ! pres5ce ( ! spiritual8 ,let u rememb] 8 almo/ dy+ words3 ',body & _s may be sep>at$2 _s & _s1 nev]4' 99 99 99 99 99 ,june #bf1 #ahde4 444 ,no woman c be a true woman1 :atev] may be h] intellectual acquirem5ts or capacity1 )\t t womanly k :i* w fit h] = dome/ic life1 & enable h] to fill 'home1' t appo9t$ sph]e ( mo/ wom5's duties at "s "t or o!r1 ) all ! com=ts :i* alone c make x happy4 ,i d n mean m]ely ! k ( ! daily r\t9e ( outside dome/ic employm5ts2 b ! cultivation ( ! dome/ic affections1 ! habits ( concession & self-sacrifice1 ( delicate att5tion to ! little ?+s :i* g s f> to make up ! sum ( dome/ic happ9ess1 & ! me*anical facility ) respect to a ?\s& m9or matt]s1--all ( :i* no?+ b practice 9 ! atmosph]e :i* calls !m into ex]cise c possibly tea*4 ,i w n d5y t ,i ?9k a great deal1 too1 ( education 9 'common dome/ic employm5ts1' z a means ( happ9ess & usefulness4 ,i hold t no?+ c comp5sate = a wilful neglect ( :at may be made ! means ( s mu* com=t to o!rs1 z ord]1 cleanl9ess1 & a facility 9 adm9i/]+ to ! human wants ( our fri5ds1 :i* is peculi>ly woman's prov9ce4 ,n[1 = ?is "p ( education1 home ought to be ! be/ place4 ,( c\rse x is impossible1 :ile att5d+ s*ool con/antly1 to f9d "t = ^! o!r matt]s1 & all !oretical le>n+ ^u su* subjects c be ( little use )\t practice4 ,mrs4 ,w>e _h f\nd ano!r1 new home1--a pleasant cottage built = h] use by a fri5d aft] %e w5t to ,milton1 & ent]$ by h] & h] *ildr5 t[>d ! end ( ! ye>1--h] la/ removal4 ,& highly favor$ did %e feel1 bo? 9 ! society ar\nd h] & ! local situation4 ,no he>t c\ld be m alive to ! beauties ( t glori\s ,milton ,hill ?an 0 h]s4 ,its ri* l&scape1 its gorge\s sunsets1 & ev]-v>y+ hues1 %e enjoy$ int5sely1 = _! natural beauty1 & n less1 if n m1 = _! moral influ5ce4 ,! ?\ght ( h] en?usiasm comes ov] u ev5 n[ ) subdu+ p[]1 z we /& aga9 at h] side on ^? beautiful heights1 to :i* %e long$ to lead all h] fri5ds1 & see ! emotion1 if we he> n ! utt]ance1 ( h] gl[+1 admir+ _s4 ,we cat* aga9 ! e>ne/ words ) :i* %e urg$ a visit !re1 ev5 9 ! fre%ness ( h] wid[$ grief4 ,o ?is glori\s view6 ,i d hope ! wea!r w be good1 t y may see x 9 all its glory4 ,i _h no conception ( ! moral influ5ce ( ! sublime & beautiful be=e4 ,i really ?9k "o mu/ be v wick$ to be tr\bl$ ab\t little ?+s1 )9 sight ( su* a display ( ! ,div9e love2 ev5 *ildr5 feel x4 ,! "t _h come :5 %e might be p>don$1 _h %e be5 tr\bl$1 n inde$ by little ?+s1 b by "s ( s]i\s import4 ,a hidd51 insidi\s disease1 :i* seldom leaves its nature long d\btful1 _h begun its "w1 & ! quick5$ _s caught ! fir/ :isp] ( monition4 ,ev5 two ye>s be=e1 %e _h a sort ( pres5tim5t1 if n a di/9ct w>n+1 ( h] fate1 & 9 a pleasant way signifi$ x to h] husb&1 :o answ]$ z pleasantly1 & probably ?\ght no m ( x4 ,h[ mu* %e ?\ght ( x we _c "k4 ,b z e>ly z ! summ] ( #ahde %e prep>$ h] m9d = a pa9ful op]ation2 &1 :5 reliev$ ( ! imm$iate necessity1 wrote ?us to a fri5d3 ,y may imag9e ! dep? ( my gratitude2 = ,i c\ld n d\bt t an op]ation1 ev5 if successful1 w\ld disable me = a long "t2 & ,i c\ld n look ^u ! fact ( be+ tak5 (f f my duties1 )\t mu* anxiety z to h[ my place 0 to be suppli$4 ,/ill ,i h a /rong conviction t ultimately ?is is to end my days4 ,b ,i am n tr\bl$ at ! ?\ght1 o!rwise ?an t x is a mode ( decay di/ress+ to o!rs4 ,b ,god's w be done6 ,m>y ,w>e 0 n only to suff]1 b to d ,god's w1 to ! end4 ,& = f\r ye>s long] we may foll[ h]1 & see h] s busy & s *e]ful1 t we might ?9k h] unaw>e ( dang]1--except t we _c fail to p]ceive 9 h] lett]s h[ cle> 0 h] consci\sness ( all t 0 imp5d+4 ,b v few knew x4 ,! "w ( life w5t on z usual4 ,h] small s*ool 9 ! h\se occupi$ mu* ( h] "t1 & int]e/$ r ?an satisfi$ h]4 ,%e does n appe> to h ev] felt t %e accompli%$ mu* 9 ! way ( tea*+4 ,%e ent]$ ^u ! task di/ru/+ly4 ,i beg9 my little s*ool to-morr[1 & ,i d\bt if any girl ( sixte51 mak+ h] fir/ essay at s*ool-keep+1 ev] felt m dread ( ! ?+4 ,i am a%am$ & almo/ amus$ at my own c[>dice4 ,! difficulty is1 ,i h a great idea ab\t a small ?+1 & _c feel fully t x is 'little by little ! bird builds 8 ne/4' ,!re may h be5 ano!r difficulty1--t *ildr5 s "y ex]cis$ only h] pati5ce1 & c\ld n call into action ! high] p[]s1 nor make h] =get h]self z %e always wi%$ to d4 ,b !re 0 ano!r & absorb+ "w ( m5tal & moral tra9+ 9 :i* %e 0 con/antly engag$1--t ( h] old] *ildr51 = :om1 by communion or correspond5ce1 %e 0 /riv+ to d all t 0 possible 9 ! "t t rema9$ to h]4 ,ab\t ?is "t ,mrs4 ,w>e receiv$ f a fri5d1 :o knew h] :ole condition1 ! (f] ( a home = ei!r ( h] *ildr5 t %e w\ld be will+ to sp>e1 & = any p]iod4 ,%e felt deeply ! k9dness ( ! (f]1 z w be se5 9 h] reply to x1--:]e we also see h] views ( ! wisdom ( sep>at+ *ildr51 & giv+ !m unequal advantages4 ,milton1 ,decemb] #ah1 #ahdd4 ,,my ,,de> ,,fri5d3-- ,z ,i read ov] aga9 y\r preci\s lett]1 ,i wond] if !re is any p>don = "o :o c\ld h delay$ s long to answ] x4 ,!re c\ld n be1 7 x possible t su* delay proce$$ f indiff]5ce1 or want ( j appreciation ( ! feel+s :i* dictat$ ! lett]4 ,to nei!r ( ^! *>ges c ,i plead guilty2 & c only say 9 my excuse1 t ,i h n _h1 s9ce x 0 f\nd safely roll$ up 9 a bale ( c>pet+1 ! comm& ( "o h\r ( daylight1 & t my eyes h be5 s tr\blesome t ,i c\ld n use !m at ! only "t :5 my m9d 0 free to write4 ,?us h ,i be5 compell$ to put x (f2 until n[1 on ! eve ( leav+ home1 ,i d>e n put x (f any long]1 & am compell$ to take ! h\r ( midnight to tell y1 z ,i may be able1 almo/ )\t eyes1 h[ deeply grateful ,i am = x4 ,y h inde$ %[n y\rself ! true fri5d by y\r b5evol5t proposition2 :at m c\ld a fri5d d = ano!r8 ,b delightful z is ! ?\ght t any ( my *ildr5 c\ld h su* a home 9 ! he>t ( "o ,i s truly love1 ,i d>e n lift a f+]1 or say a ^w1 :i* w\ld decide su* a "q4 ,i feel my own %ort-sight$ness s mu*1 ,i believe s fully 9 ! circum/antial lead+ ( ,provid5ce1 t ,i c\ld n v5ture to anticipate ! future exp$i5cy ( any arrangem5t1 ! advantages ( :i* mu/ dep5d ^u a fitness ( ?+s :5 ! "t comes1 ( :i* we n[ _c "k any ?+4 ,h[ little we c tell :at a *ild may be at any future p]iod1--:at its ta/es1 or its adapt$ness to any p>ticul> position 9 life1--& h[ great may be ! emb>rassm5t :i* might arise f any arrangem5t made 9 anticipation ( results :i* are nev] to be rea*$6 ,i h always _h a /rong objection to giv+ "o memb] ( a family any great ext]nal advantages ov] ! re/4 ,i _h r all %\ld /& ^u ! same level1 z a bett] security = ! cultivation ( t family affection & sympa?y :i* ,i believe to be a valuable pres]vative ( virtue4 ,i %\ld mu* pref] t all my *ildr5 %\ld live toge!r1 if x 7 possible to f9d any "o to act z a judici\s head to su* a community1 ?an risk ! gr[? ( sep>ate int]e/s & a feel+ ( sup]iority f any outw>d cause4 ,?is1 y w say1 is impracticable1 z1 9 ! common c\rse ( ev5ts1 "o is likely to ga9 = himself a bett] position ?an ano!r2 b :5 a /rong family affection is e/abli%$ by e>ly dep5d5ce1 ,i h no fe> = aft] influ5ces1--,i am will+ to risk !m4 ,yet ?is is only an idea1 & ,i h no hope ( its accompli%m5t2 bo? ! means & ! p]son w\ld be want+1 7 ,i tak5 f !m n[1 & ,i %\ld leave !m to _! fate ) ! delightful confid5ce t !re are _m in/rum5ts 9 ,god's h&s ready to d = !m :at may be be/4 ,bless y1 = ! satisfaction ( kn[+ t x is 9 y\r he>t to be "o ( !m4 ,i h mu* anxiety ab\t my *ildr51 n f any peculi> difficulty 9 _! orig9al *>act]s1 b f my deep s5se ( incapacity to guide any *ild 9 its progress ?r\gh life4444 ,i want ,fai?1 ,i want ,hope1--,o1 ,i want a great deal :i* ,i ought to h ga9$1 by ?is "t1 to make life be>able4 ,& yet1 :5 ,i ?9k ( ! possibility ( be+ soon tak51 ,i c h>dly say1 ',i am ready4' ,pray = me t x may be o!rwise :5 ! "t comes4 ,ev] y\rs1 mo/ truly4 ,,m>y ,l4 ,,w>e4 ,z ! mon?s advanc$1 ,mrs4 ,w>e 0 m & m occupi$ & active1 evid5tly feel+ t h] "t 0 %ort4 ,& yet we see none ( t anxiety ab\t ! future :i* su* a conviction is apt to create1 9 ref]5ce ei!r to ! pres5t _w or ano!r4 ,z reg>d$ ano!r _w1 & h] approa* to x1 we d\bt if %e ev] felt ! slighte/ dread or unwill+ness to g4 ,n f any s5se ( fitness or self-suffici5cy1 b ) ! deepe/ humility !re m+l$ ! firme/ tru/2 & a tru/ t refus$ to sep>ate ! ex]cise ( ju/ice f m]cy1 9 ,god4 ,%e c\ld tru/ ! "o z mu* z ! o!r1 & %e c\ld n di/ru/ ei!r2 b1 assur$ t a p]fectly righte\s & omnisci5t ,be+ w\ld d exactly t :i* 0 ne$ful = h] purification & p]fection1 %e re/$ !re1--& left all else4 ,we say ?is ( ! peculi>ity ( h] fai?1 if x be peculi>1 f p]sonal k ( h] m9d on ?is po9t1 & f h] own explicit decl>ations at a lat] day4 ,& we ref] to !m at ?is "t1 to say t ! same convictions su/a9$ & tranquilliz$ h] 9 reg>d to ! future ( ?is life = ^? :om %e 0 to leave beh9d4 ,f ! e>lie/ mom5t ( ! expectation or appreh5sion ( dea?1 a "m's m9d mu/ turn /rongly & fix int5tly on h] *ildr54 ,& to mo/ mo!rs ?is is ! great /ruggle4 ,:o c wond]8 ,:o w reprove1 ev5 if ! /ruggle be bitt]1 & ! vision dim8 ,,he w n1 :o has giv5 a p>5t's affections1 & lik5$ to !m 8 own4 ,_m a "m1 :o c\ld leave ! _w )\t a pang = h]self1 w suff] & fe> = h] *ildr54 ,x is only ! highe/ fai? t prev5ts all ?is suff]+ & fe>4 ,su*1 we ?9k1 0 ,m>y ,w>e's4 ,n 9 comm5dation d we say x1--we "k n t x des]ves t1--b z ! simple fact1 t :ile %e 0 always d\btful ( h] p[] to gu>d & tra9 h] *ildr5 9 ! be/ way1 %e nev] fe>$ to leave !m ) ,god1 9 ref]5ce ei!r to ?+s temporal or spiritual4 ,ev5 :5 %e c\ld see no suffici5t provision = _! temporal com=t1 %e seem$ unable to believe t %e 0 ess5tial to t com=t1 or t h] life w\ld be bett] = !m ?an h] dea?4 ,%e knew t t w\ld be be/ :i* ,god appo9t$4 ,does n ?is belong to ! highe/ fai?8 ,no "o c\ld induce h] to make any reque/1 or express ev5 a wi%1 z to future arrangem5ts1 ! outw>d condition or =tune ( any *ild4 ,_m wi%es1 _m pray]s1 did %e (f] = ! inw>d condition & ! spiritual prep>ation = bo? worlds1--b only ! spiritual4 ,i c\ld write a %eet1 %e says to a "m :o 0 h]self anxi\s1--,i c\ld write a %eet ^u ! text y\r lett] gives me1 ) reg>d to ! prep>ation ( our *ildr5 = life4 ,b ,i c only say1 ,:y %\ld we feel anxi\s = !m :5 we are gone8 ,d we n see t ! f9e/ *>act]s are ^? :i* are =m$ by ! necessity ( act+ = !mselves8 ,& aga93 ,i h felt s grateful = hav+ _h heal? & /r5g? to d = ,h5ry :at ,i 0 sure no "o else c\ld d1 t ,i _h no?+ m to ask1 & c\ld submit to any ?+4 ,i hope ,i %all n f9d my fai? fail1 come :at w4 ,i d n feel t ,i am z ess5tial to my *ildr54 ,i d n feel t ,i am compet5t to tra9 !m4 ,if we h giv5 ( late none ( ,mrs4 ,w>e's annuals1 x has only be5 f ! abundance ( o!r mat]ial4 ,!y 7 cont9u$ )\t a s+le failure to ! end ( life4 ,f two ( !m at ?is p]iod1 we take su* p>ts z w help to %[ ! /ate & progress ( h] m9d4 ,milton1 ,decemb] #ca1 #ahde4 ,,my ,,de> ,n----3 ,tw5ty ye>s ago at ?is h\r1 ,i 0 writ+ my annual ^u a pair ( bell[s1 cr\*+ ov] a small coal fire1 9 poor old ,aunty's *amb] at ,osmo!rly4 ,:at *anges1 :at a v>iety ( weal & woe1 does a glance at ! int]v5+ space pres5t to "o's m9d6 ,x is all too famili> to y to make a recapitulation necess>y1 & y c und]/&1 )\t any explanation1 ! wide diff]5ce betwe5 ! nature ( ! lonel9ess ,i !n felt1 & t :i* ,i n[ exp]i5ce4 ,h ,i n ga9$ t :i* c nev] be lo/1 a bond ( union ) an immortal _s :i* c nev] be brok58 ,o t ,i c\ld realize m ! p]petuity ( ?is spiritual union6 !n %\ld ,i suff] less f ?is m]ely e>?ly isolation4 ,b ,i h ga9$ a little s9ce la/ ye>1 de> ,n----2 ei!r ,i h become m wont$ by "t to my condition1 or ! increas+ c>e & anxiety ab\t my *ildr5 h tak5 my ?\ghts away f myself2 be x :at x may1 ,i am m able to turn my m9d f t "o idea ( *ange1 & h acquir$ a m tranquil /ate ( m9d1 "u ! consci\sness ( x4 ,s f>1 s good2 b ,god kn[s !re is /ill en\gh ( s9 9 me1 to keep me f t /ate ( quiet tru/ :i*1 z a believ] 9 ,provid5ce1 ,i ought to h4 ,i _c get away f ! t]rible s5se ( insuffici5cy = ! great "w :i* lies be=e me 9 ! education ( my *ildr51 & ,i _c le>n to rely1 z ,i %\ld1 ^u ! ,all-suffici5t1 = ! supply ( t defici5cy4 ,x is a liv+1 act+ ,fai? t ,i want2 h[ %all ,i get x8444 ,x is long s9ce ,i h writt5 to y1 b ,i h little ( v>iety to detail4 ,i sp5t a =tnight 9 ,novemb]1 & ano!r 9 ,decemb]1 9 ,bo/on1 help+ ,dr4 ,john 9 ! completion ( 8 "w1 & s9ce my return1 ?ree weeks ago1 ,i h be5 v fully employ$ z nurse & maid ( all "w2 = ,i f\nd ,c----1 ,w----1 ,h----1 & my ,m>g>et1 all sick4 ,e---- too has n be5 well4 ,help is n to be got "h extempore1 &1 ) ! exception ( two nights f a nurse1 ,i _h no aid1 until )9 a few days ,i h _h a little girl ( ?irte54 ,y "k some?+ ab\t su* concat5ations1 & ne$ n be told1 t "u su* circum/ances "o f9ds no "t = any?+ b supply+ ! bodily wants ( ^? ab\t u4 ,add to ?is1 t ,i h be5 m ?an half sick myself all ! "t ) "o ( my t$i\s c\ghs1 keep+ me awake at night & tir+ me t]ribly 9 ! day4 ,only ?9k ( ,emma's trip to ,engl&1--&1 good s\l1 t %e %\ld g & see ',c\s9 ,jane' = me1 & ,george ,lovell1 too6 ,does %e n always d m ?an any "o else8 ,y\r fai?ful ,m4 ,l4 ,w4 99 99 99 99 99 ,milton1 ,decemb] #ca1 #ahdf4 ,?irty ye>s1 is x n1 de> ,n----1 s9ce ,i began to make y my "m-confessor ^u ?is anniv]s>y8 ,a long life1 z "s p w\ld h us$ x2 a long life x seems to me1 z ,i look back to t fir/ h\r ( consci\sness t !re 0 "o be+ 9 ! _w to :om ,i c\ld be z egoti/ical z ,i pleas$1 ) impunity4 ,a long life x has truly be5 to me1 n s mu* 9 its usefulness or improvem5t1 z 9 ! v>iety ( its exp]i5ces1 int]nal z well z ext]nal4 ,9 fact1 x seems l _m lives2 & z ,i survey diff]5t portions ( x 9 retrospect1 ,i c sc>cely believe 9 my own id5tity ) ! be+ :o appe>s ^u ! /age 9 ea*4 ,h[ has x be5 ) y8 ,i am anxi\s to "k :e!r o!rs are z s5sible z ,i am ( a *ange ( "* f ! influ5ce ( circum/ances4 ,we are wont to say1 & ,i ?9k ,i h se5 /rong pro( ( ! tru? ( ! ass]tion1--t '! *ild is fa!r to ! man4' ,9 tru?1 he is ! future man1 9 all ! lead+ traits ( 8 "*1 z well at five z at fifty ye>s ( age2 & yet ,i d feel z if ,i 7 n ! same be+ t ,i 0 ?ree ye>s ago4 ,:e!r x is t ,i am gr[+ old & los+ my faculties1 or :e!r ! responsibilities ( life h p>alyz$ my m9d1 or t ! loss ( t refre%m5t to ! _s :i* comes f ! reciprocation ( an affection = :i* !re is no sub/itute1 has exhau/$ my /r5g? by depriv+ me ( my _s's re/+-place1 ,i "k n4 ,b c]ta9 x is1 t f be+ a p]son ( "s decision ( "*1 "s en]gy1 "s judgm5t1 ,i feel z if ,i 7 r$uc$ to a m]e *ild1 ready to lean ^u any body's judgm5t b my own1 he>tsick & homesick at ! s5se ( incapacity to meet my duties4 ,is ?is want ( actual p[]1 or want ( fai? to use ! p[] t is left8 ,i don't "k4 ,all ,i "k c]ta9ly is ?is3 t ,i f9d myself utt]ly inadequate to ! duties :i* belong to me1 & am 9 consequ5ce 9 a p]petual /ate ( anxiety1 :i* incapacitates me f do+ or enjoy+4 ,?is is a new /ra91 y w say2 = me1 truly x is a new /ate ( m9d1 & :e!r rem$iable or n1 ,i _c tell2 c y tell me8444 444 ,h[ /rangely v>i\s seem to be ! means appo9t$ to br+ ab\t ! same end 9 life2 & x is n easy to see h[ our v>i\s lots c all be br\ght to be> ! same fruit ( hol9ess & happ9ess4 ,! greate/ evil to me 9 life is ! p]petual hurry1 hurry1 to get ?r\gh ! bus9ess ( ! day )\t leav+ any necess>y duty undone1--)\t a mom5t = quiet ?\ght or intellectual improvem5t1--:ile "h is my neighbor1 x may be1 at a loss h[ to fill up ! vacant h\rs1 ?ankful to resort to sleep to dispose ( "s ( !m4 ,does x seem z if we 7 bo? de/9$ to ! same end8 ,! m ,i look ^u life1 ! m ,i feel t ! outside has less to d ) improvem5t or happ9ess4 ,& dissatisfi$ z ,i sometimes feel ) my own position1 ,i "k n h[ ,i %\ld improve x1 on ! :ole4 ,:5 ,i look calmly at my defici5cies1 ,i see t !y are n s mu* ! effect ( any outside cause1 z ! weakness ( my own "*4 ,& if at times ?is br+s a feel+ ak9 to despair1 x makes me less re/less ?an ,i %\ld o!rwise be4 ,de> ,n----1 ,i h a /rong feel+ t ?is is to be a ye> ( *ange to me2 n f any pres5t indications1 b t x seems presumptu\s to expect t ! trial :i* ,i believe hangs ov] me %\ld be long av]t$4 ,pray = me1 t ,i may be prep>$ = x4 ,i fe> ,i %all nev] be any bett]4 ,& s ,i beg9 ! ye>1 n wi%+ to look to its end1 b ) m indiff]5ce z to :at t end may be to me1 ?an ,i ev] felt be=e4 ,i fe> ?is is n a "r feel+4444 ,y\rs always4 ,m4 ,l4 ,w4 ,f ! _m lett]s ( sympa?y :i* ,mrs4 ,w>e wrote1 we h drawn little4 ,!y 7 sure to be _m1 f h] position1 h] l>ge circle ( intimate fri5ds1 ! unres]v$ confid5ce repos$ 9 h]1 & h] w>m affections4 ,h[ w>m & t5d] ^? affections 71 h[ prompt to g out to ^? :o suff]$1 & h[ sure to d some?+ to soo! & *e]1 _m ( u c\ld tell4 ,or r1 x is n to be told4 ,b ! want ( x is felt4 ,!re are ^? ( t family & acqua9tance1 :o w nev] weep1 )\t ! remembrance ( h] ready & wise sympa?y4 ,! p[] ( sympa?y is n giv5 to all4 ,! feel+ may be 9 all1 b n ! faculty ( s express+ & adapt+ x z to make x truly sympa?y4 ,x requires "o to be acqua9t$ ) grief4 ,x requires a quick disc]nm5t & deep insight ( "*4 ,t :i* is sympa?y to "o may n rea*1 or may (f5d1 ano!r4 ,mrs4 ,w>e und]/ood ?is s well1 t %e always accept$1 = h]self1 mo/ gratefully1 all attempts at condol5ce1 & at ! same "t adapt$ h] own to ! "* & case ( ! suff]]4 ,9 my int]c\rse ) h]1 says "o1 ,i felt ! diff]5ce betwe5 feel+ = & feel+ ) ano!r4 ,!re is no?+ belittl+ or weak5+ 9 su* sympa?y4 ,x appeals to ! highe/1 & n1 z is (t5 done1 to l[] motives & affections 9 ! m\rn]4 ,x does n condole m]ely1 b rejoices ) him4 ,to a fri5d 9 sorr[ %e writes3 ,my confid5ce makes me r rejoice = y1 ?an grieve1 t y %\ld be call$ to su* suff]+4 ,!re is s mu* ( sublimity 9 ^! great trials ( fai?1 t "o feels rais$ by !m to a ne>] approa* to ! ,inf9ite1 to a cle>] vision ( ! realities ( ! spiritual _w1 a ne>ness1 almo/ on5ess1 ) ! ,fa!r ( spirits4 ,:o w\ld desire to av]t any ?+ t w d ?is = u8 ,!re is1 too1 a self-respect & decision1 ) :i* ev5 h] humility clo!s itself4 ,y\r case is mu* ^u my m9d1 & ,i _c help wi%+ !re 7 "s m5tal dagu]reotype1 or magnetic communication1 by :i* ,i c\ld transf] to y\r m9d1 )\t ! int]v5tion ( words1 all t is pass+ 9 m9e conc]n+ y4 ',va9 mortal6' :isp]s ,humility1 ':at c\ld y %[ h] wor? h] see+8' ,i 0 n ?9k+ ( ! wor?1 b ( ! sympa?y & love4 ,i "k t is wor? some?+ ev5 f poor me4 ,y say1 ',:y d y n talk8' ,i h no habit ( talk+ ab\t ! int]nal1 & ,i h s little love ( discuss+ ! ext]nal1 t ,i h no free use ( language 9 any way2 & x always seems to me1 :5 ,i make ! attempt to utt] :at my m9d is full (1 z if my ?\ghts all came wrong end =emo/2 & ! idea ( tak+ up a p]son's "t to li/5 to me seems s fooli%1 t x emb>rasses me by mak+ me feel 9 a hurry to get ?r\gh = _! sakes4 ,b if %e c\ld n or did n talk mu*1 9 ! way ( solace1 %e wrote freely2 & h] lett]s1 ?\gh n orig9al or rem>kable1 are drawn f ! dep?s ( exp]i5ce & fai?4 ,we (f] none entire1 b only ! p>ts t indicate h] mann] ( urg+ ^u o!rs ! great tru?s & pr9ciples on :i* %e h]self reli$4 ,! extracts t foll[ are n all ( "o "*1 b su* z 7 call$ =? by diff]5t exp]i5ces ne> ! same "t1--all %[+ ! s]i\s ca/ ( h] own ?\ghts1 & h] deep5+ int]e/ 9 o!rs' moral condition4 ,! fir/ 0 writt5 to h] son 9 ! m9i/ry4 99 99 99 99 99 ,febru>y #i1 #ahdf4 ,de> ,john3 ,oh6 y are b j beg9n+ to "k :at life truly is 9 its solemn discipl9e4 ,! great book ( religi\s exp]i5ce is n[ b op5+ to y2 &1 believe me1 y w f9d 9 x treasures ( happ9ess ( :i* ! he>t ( man _c conceive )\t su* exp]i5ce4 ,y say y feel some?+ ( 'fe>' com+ ov] y4 ,i w n say1 put away all appreh5sion2 unc]ta9ty does hang ov] y1 b let x n produce fe>4 ,i w\ld advocate a c\rage\s contemplation ( possibilities1 = 9 ?is way1 ,i believe1 ! b5efits ( all trial may be made great]4 ,b let x be ) a quiet tru/ & hopefulness1 su* z we z ,*ri/ians h a "r to feel2 let x be ) a /eady fai?1 t :atev] ,god p]mits has a b5efic5t end & object1 k9dly to aid u 9 ! great "w = :i* we 7 plac$ 9 ?is _w ( trial1--! prep>ation ( our s\ls = t spiritual life :i* may be liv$ ev5 :ile we are /ill 9 ?is _w4 ,does n our ,fa!r love u ) a p]fect love8 ,does he n "k bett] ?an we c :at is be/ = u8 ,has he n p[] to fulfil all 8 designs ( good = u1--& %all we n1 if ) *ildlike fai? 9 t love & p[] we surr5d] our w to 81 f9d a peace :i* _c be mov$8 ,i 0 once mo/ =cibly *eck$ 9 "s fruitless attempt to obta9 peace "u great difficulties1 ^u false pr9ciples1 by happ5+ ^u ^! v]ses ( ,watts 7,i believe73-- ',is resignation's lesson h>d8 ,on trial we %all f9d ,x makes u give up no?+ m ,?an angui% ( ! m9d4 ,believe1 & all ! ills ( life ,t mom5t we resign1' c4 ,& ,i nev] f9d myself try+ to argue myself into acquiesc5ce to any disp5sation by reasons o!r ?an ^? impli$ 9 ^! l9es1 t !y d n rise to my memory z a rebuke4 ,b /ill ! /ruggle1--,o1 t /ruggle is great1 & we mu/ n be disc\rag$ t we f9d x s2 t is "p ( ! discipl9e4 ,/r5g? comes by ef=t2 & only ?9k :at preci\s tea*+ ?is is = y\r "w4 ,all :o h read ! beautiful ,memoir ( ,rob]t ,swa9 w feel ! great] int]e/ 9 ! foll[+1 writt5 f 8 favorite isl&-home1 to a son 9 ,engl&1 ab\t ! age ( ,rob]t1 :5 he di$4 ,nau%on1 ,septemb] #ac1 #ahdf4 ,i am glad1 de> ,william1 to write to y f ?is place1 n only because ,i am happy 9 be+ "h1 b because x mu/ rem9d y ( him ) ^: memory ?is place is s /rongly associat$1 t "o _c he> its "n )\t hav+ 8 beautiful "* br\ght up be=e ! m9d4 ,i h ?\ght mu* ( y s9ce ,i h be5 "h1 9 trac+ ,rob]t's life by ! memorials :i* are ev]y:]e ar\nd me1 9 he>+ 8 p>5ts talk ( ! =mation ( 8 "*1 9 read+ ! record ( 8 dea?1 & contemplat+ at 8 grave 8 pres5t life4 ,o1 ,i h felt1 de> ,william1 t to h su* a *ild 0 ! highe/ happ9ess ?is _w c\ld give2 & h[ev] great mu/ h be5 ! pa9 ( p>t+1 & dre>y ! void :i* 8 abs5ce made 9 ! e>?ly pilgrimage ( 8 p>5ts1 x 0 all m ?an comp5sat$1 by ! satisfaction ( hav+ begun "h su* a relation to s pure a _s1 :i* c nev] cease :ile ! s\l lives4 ,& h[ e>ne/ly ,i h pray$1 t my *ild1 too1 might s und]/& ! true object ( exi/5ce1 z to make 8 spiritual progress ! fir/ aim "u all circum/ances6 ,we see 9 ,rob]t's case h[ beautifully he 0 tra9+ himself = heav51 :ile he liv$ ! simple life ( an active boy1 foll[+ all ! common pursuits :i* belong$ to 8 age1 b do+ all ) a consci5ti\s ref]5ce to ! law ( "r4 ,) ! mo/ devot$ love t[>ds 8 p>5ts & fri5ds1 he lov$ 8 ,god above all1 & s\ght fir/ ( all to obey ,him4 ,8 grave is 9 "o ( ! sweete/ spots on ! isl&1 9 a little op5+ surr\nd$ by trees :i* he _h nam$ 8 '"m's p>lor'2 & ^u a seat :i* he _h made !re = h] ,i h sp5t "s holy mom5ts1 ) :i* ! ?\ght ( y 0 t5d]ly m+l$4 ,de> son1 may ,i h ! same satisfaction 9 y\r life1 :i* ^! p>5ts h 9 t ( _! son6 & %\ld ,god 9 8 provid5ce call y also ?us e>ly to himself1 may ,i h reason to believe1 z !y d1 t = y ! "w ( life 0 accompli%$6444 ,i tru/ y w come home ready to beg9 ! "w ( life 9 e>ne/4 ,:5 y look =w>d & consid] t y mu/ dep5d on y\r own ef=ts = subsi/5ce1 t y h a gift ( m9d = ! use ( :i* y are acc\ntable to y\r ,mak]1 & t ! p]son ) "o tal5t is equally responsible ) him :o has t51 y w see t no?+ %ort ( physical inability c excuse y f beg9n+ at once ! "w ( self-education4 ,all t c be done = y is no?+1 all ! advantages ) :i* y may be surr\nd$ are z no?+1 if y d n set y\rself to a consci5ti\s improvem5t ( all4 ,i c>e little :at pa? y foll[ z to ext]nal life1 if y only foll[ x ^u ! basis ( "r pr9ciple1 :i* %all produce 9 y a manly1 dis9t]e/$ reg>d to ! accompli%m5t ( all ! good y may h x 9 y\r p[] to p]=m4 ,a lett] f ,engl& in=m$ ,mrs4 ,w>e ( ! dea? ( an excell5t k9swoman1 :o may be rememb]$ z ,c\s9 ,bessie1 ! wife ( ,george ,lovell4 ,& %e wrote ( x to ,emma1 !n 9 ,new ,york1 :o _h be5 h] fell[-travell] 9 ,engl&1 & ^: own heal? 0 g5tly b surely decl9+4 ,gre5hill ,cottage1 ,decemb] #ah1 #ahdf4 444 ,de> ,bessie's pure _s pass$ away 9 peace1 ! #bb;d ( ,novemb]4 ,h] m9d rema9$ p]fectly cle> to ! la/ mom5t1 calm & *e]ful4 ,h]s 0 a sweet _s1 & ,i love to rememb] ! intimate int]c\rse ,i _h ) x 9 times pa/1 = !re 0 m 9 h] s\l ?an appe>$ to ! casual obs]v]4 ,h] dep>ture has add$ "o m attraction to t spiritual /ate 9 :i* ,i hope to r5ew ! int]*ange ( k9d affection & holy ?\ght4 ,h[ beautifully is x arrang$ = u1 t1 z we approa* ne>] & ne>] to ! ex*ange ( worlds ourselves1 our int]e/ 9 t to :i* we are go+ %\ld be s increas$ by ! removal ( s _m lov$ ones be=e u4 ,x c be no new ?\ght to y1 t all sickness mu/ be ( unc]ta9 result1 & y und]/& too well ! object ( all ! discipl9e ( life1 to %r9k f any =m ( x :i* ,provid5ce may appo9t4 ,to y & me1 /r5g? & p[] seem s mu* our bir?right1 t we h>dly "k h[ to und]/& ourselves :5 !y fail2 b x c]ta9ly is n difficult to see :y we peculi>ly ne$ ! g5tle monitions :i* sickness br+s to u4 ,x w\ld seem z if "s ( ! capacities = ! enjoym5t ( ! purely spiritual c\ld n be =m$ 9 u )\t !m2 we %\ld be too self-dep5d5t1 too confid5t 9 our own /r5g?1 to le>n h[ to be ! meek & l[ly disciples1 to :om are promis$ ! fruits ( fai? & tru/4 ,i am sure t ! s5se ,i n[ h ( liability to ! developm5t ( fatal disease at any "t1 is ! s\rce ( "s ( ! mo/ exalt$ mom5ts ( my pres5t exi/5ce4 ,s f> f its less5+ our enjoym5t ( all t we ought to enjoy belong+ to life1 x gives a ke5] s5se ( x1 inasmu* z x puts 9 _! true position all ! trifles :i* are s apt to m> our com=t "u common circum/ances4 ,i _c b believe t y w d]ive great relief f ?is exp]im5t2 & if x does n rea* all ! difficulty1 x c]ta9ly w d ?is good1--t1 by remov+ "s ( ! causes ( irritation & consequ5t exhau/ion1 x leaves y m /r5g? to cont5d ) :at may rema9 ( disease1--&1 aft] all1 t is ! ma9 ?+4 444 ,i h _h a v k9d note f ,miss ,s$gwick1 inclos+ a lett] f ,madame ,sismondi aft] read+ ,h5ry's ,life4 ,x 0 a mo/ gratify+ te/imony to ! influ5ce ( ! tru? ^u a m9d :i* _h be5 educat$ to und]value e ?+ proce$+ f our =m ( fai?4 ,! y\ng] son1 to :om ,mrs4 ,w>e _h writt5 f ,nau%on1 _h n[ return$ f ,engl&1 :]e he _h be5 = 8 heal?1 & 0 plac$ at s*ool 9 ,exet]1 9 ! well-kn[n ,phillips ,academy4 ,f 8 "m's lett]s to him :ile !re1 we %\ld be glad to borr[ l>gely1 b mu/ abridge4 ,! numb] & fulness ( ^! lett]s1 :5 we rememb] ! /ate ( h] heal?1 ! c>e ( h] family1 & all else t %e 0 do+1 w\ld surprise u1 if we _h n se5 ! same1 virtually1 9 e p]iod & position ( h] life4 ,! lett]s !mselves are writt5 )\t ef=t or ornam5t1 & conta9 mu* t w\ld be call$ common-place1 because !y aim only at ^? simple/ tru?s & c\nsels :i* lie at ! root ( moral "*4 ,dur+ ! "t ( writ+ ! extracts t foll[1 ,mrs4 ,w>e w5t h]self to ,exet]1 alone & at ! %orte/ notice1--f9d+ t "s que/ions 9 reg>d to ! c\rse ( /udy to be pursu$ by h] son c\ld be be/ det]m9$ by h] actual pres5ce4 ,x 0 "o ( h] la/ j\rneys1 &1 be+ 9 mid-w9t]1 mu/ h requir$ resolution1 if x did n co/ suff]+4 ,janu>y #a1 #ahdg4 ,! clock has j /ruck "o1 s ,i may fairly date #ahdg4 ,& ) ! recollections ( ! old ye> :i* has j pass$ away1 & ! anticipations ( t ^u :i* we are ent]+1 come _m ?\ghts ( y1--affect+ ?\ghts1 = ,i rememb] my own exp]i5ce at y\r age1 & ,i feel t ?is ye> mu/ be to y "o ( ! mo/ important ( y\r :ole exi/5ce1 9 its influ5ce on y\r "* & happ9ess1 bo? = ?is life & = t long future :i* c be measur$ only by "o ^w1--,et]nity4 ,x mu/ br+ to y _m trials1 bo? ( feel+ & pr9ciple2 x mu/ br+ to y _m deep spiritual ex]cises1 & anxi\s ?\ghts ) reg>d to y\r religi\s progress4 ,y h come to t p]iod ( life at :i* "o _c escape f a deep s5se ( responsibility = ! =mation ( "o's own "*2 :51 ) e p[] & faculty 9 a peculi>ly excitable /ate1 e n]ve vibrates to ! slighte/ t\* ( joy or sorr[1 & "o feels p]petually 9 dang] ( be+ l$ by feel+ r ?an by judgm5t4 ,x is a p]iod ( int5se enjoym5t1 & = ! same reason may be "o ( int5se suff]+2 & :ile x mu/ dep5d mu* ^u circum/ances :i* %all pr$om9ate1 ,i believe x dep5ds /ill m ^u our own self-discipl9e1 9 enabl+ u bo? to avoid _m occasions ( suff]+1 & to meet ) a calm _s ^? :i* are unavoidable4 ,y are 9 a new position ( indep5d5t action2 & :ile1 ) ! deep sympa?y :i* is ! result ( exp]i5ce1 ,i c suff] & enjoy ) y1 9 anticipation1 ,i feel ! satisfaction ( a quiet tru/ t 'all w issue well4' ,i believe t y mean to gov]n y\rself by ! highe/ pr9ciple1 & 9 t fai? ,i c leave y to ! guidance ( y\r own consci5ce2 hop+ t y w nev] =get1 t pr9ciple1 to d its p]fect "w1 mu/ be appli$ to small ?+s z well z great2 t !n only is x true pr9ciple :5 x regulates ev5 ! tone ( ! voice1 z well z ! mo/ h]oic action4 ,y\r "m's pray]s are = y1 at ?is solemn turn+-po9t ( life1 t1 :5 ?is anniv]s>y next arrives1 x may f9d y1 :e!r 9 ! body or n1 able to look back ) satisfaction ^u ! pa/1 consci\s t a true progress has be5 made t[>ds t p]fection ( ! s\l = :i* x 0 creat$4444 ,y w say1 y h mu* to /ruggle ) 9 y\r own "*1 & t no?+ c satisfy y :ile y h to cont5d ) self s cont9ually4 ,b y\r greate/ temptation is to dwell too mu* ^u y\r int]nal trials1 lead+ y almo/ ins5sibly to t mo/ insidi\s & deceptive =m ( self-love1 a too con/ant ?\ght ( self ev5 9 reg>d to "o's faults4 ,y w f9d y\r intellectual occupation a great help 9 prev5t+ ?is4 ,d n ?9k too mu* ab\t y\r own defici5cies1 be cont5t to live along 9 ! con/ant ?\ght = o!rs' good1 & y w f9d t y h done m = y\rself by y\r dis9t]e/$ action1 ?an y c\ld h done by all ! ?\ght y w\ld h giv5 to ! subject 9 twice ! "t4 99 99 99 99 99 ,janu>y #bd4 444 ,cultivate 9 y\rself a religi\s _s2 read ,god's ^w to le>n :at he w\ld h y d2 pray to ,him = p[] to d x1--& y w succe$4 ,"h lies ! only sure f\ndation4 ,religi\s pr9ciple is ! rock ^u :i* alone y c build any sup]/ructure2 all o!r w be l ! s& on ! sea-%ore1--! next tide ( temptation w sweep x away4 ,& d n ?9k t x w int]f]e ) any ( ! pleasures ( y\?1 or re/ra9 ! _s ( mir? :i* belongs to y\r age4 ,s f> f x1 x w promote all enjoym5t2 = :5 we engage 9 t :i* we h decid$ by ! /&>d ( pr9ciple to be "r1 we g =? ) a free _s1 to enjoy to ! utmo/1--)\t any ( t "u-curr5t ( misgiv+ :i* is a p]petual *eck ^u u :5 we are engag$ 9 a matt] ( d\btful exp$i5cy4 ,exp]i5ce mu/ h already taught y ?is 9 "s ?+s1 &1 believe me1 x is equally true 9 all4 ,y w h _m temptations 9 y\r little _w1 compos$1 z well z ! great _w1 ( v>i\s *>act]s4 ,b if y once e/abli% x ) y\rself to pursue only ! "r1 & to h a /rong moral c\rage to say ',no' to any measure ( ev5 d\btful "*1 y w f9d t y n only ga9 peace ( m9d1 b w9 ! respect ev5 ( ^? :o may at fir/ laugh at y4 ,nev] fe> = ! result1 if y only d "r4 99 99 99 99 99 ,janu>y #bf1 #ahdg4 ,well1 x 0 an ev5t = me to g to ,exet]4 ,all my associations ) ! place are ( ! mo/ int]e/+ k9d4 ,all ! romance ( my y\? 0 connect$ ) x2 my fir/ k ( y\r fa!r 0 dur+ 8 resid5ce !re1 ?r\gh ! m$ium ( ! admiration ( t brilliant circle ( "y ladies1 9 ^: society he f\nd poetical inspiration4 ,x 0 ! home & ! dea?-place ( ! fir/ specim5 ( ! highly intellectual & spiritual =m ( humanity t ,i _h ev] kn[n intimately1 9 ! p]son ( y\r fa!r's de> fri5d1 ,john ,e4 ,abbot2 & ! v "n ( ,exet] 0 sacr$ to me1 f its connection ) ! daily details ( 8 la/ sickness1 :i* ,i receiv$ f ,mrs4 ,p----1 !n resid+ 9 h] ,aunt ,abbot's family4 ,i _h be5 !re1 h[ev]1 only once1 tw5ty ye>s ago ) y\r fa!r1 :5 toge!r we visit$ ,john ,abbot's grave1 & gave ourselves up to ! emotions connect$ ) 8 memory4 ,y may believe t x 0 ) no common feel+s t ,i w5t alone1 ^u su* an err&1 to t spot4 ,! s5se ( my sole responsibility 9 ! c>e ( my *ildr5 presses ^u me at all times2 b x bore ) peculi> p[] at t "t & at t place1 rem9d$1 z ,i c\ld n b be1 h[ little qualifi$ ,i 0 to decide ! "q1 9 comp>ison ) a fa!r's k & exp]i5ce4 99 99 99 99 99 ,febru>y #b4 444 ,?is has be5 an int5sely int]e/+ day to me4 ,:at a ?+ is ?is gift ( life1--?is /range1 fir/ union ( ! spiritual & ! mat]ial6 ,h[ closely su* an ev5t br+s "o ne> to ! great ,orig9 ( all1 & 9 :at an int]e/+1 affect+ relation6 ,! t5d] ,fa!r1 wat*+ ov]1 protect+1 su/a9+1 a feeble1 mortal *ild 9 ! greate/ "w ( creation1 ! introduction ( a new heir ( immortality to ! pa? :i* is to lead x to receive its inh]itance6 99 99 99 99 99 ,m>* #c4 444 ,d n = a mom5t lose sight ( y\r de> fa!r's example4 ,he 0 :at he 01 n by ! be/[m5t ( great natural p[]s1 b by ! religi\s indu/ry ) :i* he us$ 8 p[]s1 ! high /&>d ( moral & religi\s "* at :i* he aim$1 ! dis9t]e/$ devotion ) :i* he labor$ = o!rs' good4 ,he cultivat$ 8 consci5ce1 & by its light he cultivat$ 8 intellect2 m>k+ out = himself t pa? 9 life 9 :i* he felt himself mo/ likely to be useful4 ,& ?is 0 ! secret ( 8 great success4 ,he 0 will+ to d any ?+ he c\ld2 & he regulat$ t 'c\ld' by ! mo/ unwe>i$ indu/ry4 ,:at _c "o d1 ) su* a lev]8 ,we h n ?\ght x necess>y to speak ( ,mrs4 ,w>e's peculi> int]e/ 9 ! public m9i/rations ( religion4 ,su* an int]e/1 9 a woman ev5 ( practical good-s5se1 is a matt] ( c\rse4 ,%e c\ld n1 9 any possible circum/ances1 ?9k lightly ( public wor%ip1 = o!rs or = h]self4 ,nor 0 %e dep5d5t ^u ! =m & m$ium ( wor%ip2 s9ce1 :atev] h] *oice or ta/e1 %e ?\ght m ( ! _s ?an ( ! lett] or mann]4 ,ei!r f he>+ h] quote ! c\plet1 or f a k ( h] feel+s1 we (t5 ?9k ( h] 9 connection ) ! qua9t l9es ( old ,h]b]t3-- ,! wor/ speak some?+ good2 %\ld all want s5se1 ,god takes ! text1 & prea*es--pati5ce4 ,pati5t %e 01 ev5 int]e/$1 9 all prea*+ t evid5tly came f ! he>t1 h[ev] homely1 & 9 all prea*]s :o 7 s9c]ely engag$ 9 _! ,ma/]'s cause4 ,b = ! lukew>m & ! selfi%1 = ^? :o prea*$ n ,*ri/1 b !mselves1 & (f]$ /ones r ?an bread to ! hungry s\l1 %e f\nd x difficult to ma9ta9 h] respect1 or refra9 f express+ a v diff]5t s5tim5t4 ,h] indignation at "s k9ds ( prea*+1 & ! abuse ( sacr$ "t1 0 z /rong & almo/ z t]rible z t :i* we sometimes he>d f ev5 ! g5tle _s ( h] husb&4 ,x 0 to him t %e once wrote3 ,mr4 ---- gave u a philosophical disquisition on ! nature & prop]ties ( m9d & matt]1 conta9+ 7,i suppose7 a conclusive argum5t aga9/ ,mat]ialism1 ab\nd+ 9 te*nical phrases & ab/ruse quotations1--:i*1 to a c]ta9ty1 n "o 9 fifty ( 8 audi5ce c\ld und]/&4 ,:at food = s9ful1 acc\ntable1 half-asleep s\ls6 ,if an inhabitant ( ! insane hospital _h call$ su* a production a s]mon1 he might be excus$ ! misnom]4 ,b 9 a m9i/] ( ,*ri/ to an err+ _w1 x is no?+ %ort ( pr(anation4 ,%e lov$ simplicity ( mann]1 z well z matt]4 ,%e lov$ a f]vid1 b quiet utt]ance4 ,( "o ( ! popul> prea*]s %e says3 ,su* gr& & mom5t\s views z he br+s toge!r d n seem to me--x is a matt] ( ta/e1 ,i suppose--to ne$ ! factiti\s aid ( su* a declamatory /yle ( writ+ or /udi$ mode ( deliv]y4 ,i want to /rip !m ( all ?is1 & _c help ?9k+1 t 9 _! simple1 nak$ sublimity !y w\ld be q z effective1--to _m m9ds m s4 ,z life advanc$1 ,mrs4 ,w>e felt m & m ! value ( religi\s connections2 & bo? 9 ,fram+ham & ,milton %e f\nd great satisfaction4 ,su* a he>] & p>i%ion] gives m ?an %e receives4 ,w\ld t all knew h[ ine/imable is ! bless+ to a m9i/]6 ,we _c )hold ! te/imony ( "o pa/or to h] "* 9 ?is s+le relation3--,none c\ld be m c&id1 m k9d1 m sympa?iz+1 or m appreciat+4 ,h] seat at *ur* sc>cely ev] vacant1 h] int]e/ w>mly express$ by ^w & de$ 9 e ev5t & place connect$ ) our spiritual gr[? & prosp]ity2 rev]5t1 & almo/ punctili\sly fai?ful 9 h] atta*m5t to ! *ur*1 its =ms & its ord] 7 *]i%$ ) a true-he>t$ v5]ation & love1--:ile none c\ld h exce$$ h] 9 ! spirituality ( h] religi\s views1 or h ris5 m entirely above a m]e =malism4444 ,on ^? occasions1 too1 ( trial1 :i* w at times arise 9 a m9i/]'s s]vice1 :5 he may be call$ to speak or act ) boldness1 or adv5ture ^u untri$ exp]im5ts1 %e 0 ev] prompt & he>ty 9 expressions ( enc\ragem5t4 ,in/ances ( ?is nature occur to me1 :]e %e w\ld /op at my h\se on h] return f *ur*1 & leave ! b5$iction ( a k9d ^w ( sympa?y & god-spe$1 utt]$ ) all ! emotion ( h] sympa!tic nature1 to assure me t "o he>t at lea/ 0 9 unison ) my own4 ,( ! *ur* 9 ! h\se we d>e n speak1--except to say1 t %e :o 0 = s long a "t its only head did n believe t all religi\s s]vice mu/ wait = a prie/1 nor ev5 = a man4 ,nev] w ! sweetness ( t voice1 9 devotion1 ,scripture1 or hymn1 die away f ! he>t4 ,nev] w ^? *]i%$ words1 ,to pray]1 to pray]6 = ! morn+ breaks1--be s mov+ & uplift+1 z 9 t dwell+1 :]e ! ?\ght ( dea?1 j pa/ or j approa*+1 s]v$ b to quick5 ! _s ( ,devotion4 ,at ! p]iod n[ rea*$1 #ahdg1 ! lett]s ( ,mrs4 ,w>e cont9u$ to be ne>ly z _m z =m]ly1 & q z *e]ful4 ,!re is a l>ge class ( lett]s t h be5 sc>cely repres5t$ 9 ?is sket*2 ^? :i* are fill$ ) details ( dome/ic life1 p]sonal & private incid5ts1 & playful communications4 ,no abs5t *ild 0 left 9 ignorance ( t :i* occurr$ at home4 ,no?+ t c\ld int]e/1 edify1 or amuse 0 ?\ght too trivial to be record$1 if x w\ld t5d to /r5g!n ! bonds ( family affection4 ,i believe ! love ( home to be ! be/ safegu>d to man & woman = life1--%e once said2 & %e us$ e opportunity ( *]i%+ t love1 9 ! he>ts bo? ( ! pres5t & ! abs5t4 ,%e _h no habit ( res]vation or concealm5t ) ^? ab\t h]1 unless 9 reg>d to h] own pa9s & trials4 ,& z ^? pa9s & trials increas$1 we f9d no decl9e ( g5]al int]e/ or free communion4 ,m & m freely1 r ?an less1 does %e speak ( h]self1 h] expectations z to ?is life & ano!r1 h] conc]n = h] own /r5g? & res\rces1 & ! "* & prospects ( h] *ildr54 ,! foll[+ lett] to h] son 0 writt5 "s "t 9 ! summ] ( ?is ye>4 ,milton1 #ahdg4 ,,my ,,de> ,,john3-- 444 ,i am n n[ z able to keep s*ool z ,i 0 !n1 poorly fitt$ ?\gh ,i always felt myself4 ,my head has be5 a v tr\blesome memb] = a long "t1 & ,i h _h 9 ! c\rse ( ! la/ ye> & a half two di/9ct attacks1 :i*1 if n actually p>alytic1 7 suffici5tly l x to be consid]$ premonitory symptoms ( t affection1--am\nt+ to loss ( s5sation1 & gidd9ess1 foll[$ by a great oppression 9 ! bra91 = a long "t aft]4 ,s9ce ?is ,i h f\nd t ,i soon get ov]p[]$ & bewild]$ 9 ! bu/le ( ! s*ool1 &1 aft] a few days' trial1 x is only by go+ at once to sleep1 t ,i c get my head cle> = ! re/ ( ! day4 ,besides t1 ! s5se ( hurry :i* ,i h f ! daily pressure ( ! necessity ( adh]+ to c]ta9 h\rs1 9 ord] to get ?r\gh ! necess>y bus9ess ( ! day1 keeps my head 9 a /ate ( t5sion :i* ,i (t5 feel mu/ end 9 "s sudd5 *ange4 ,i "w almo/ con/antly eighte5 h\rs out ( ! tw5ty-f\r2 b ?is ,i c\ld be>1 7 x n = ! s5se ( hurry ,i h1 9 my anxiety to sp>e ,e---- e ?+ t ,i possibly c1 :ile %e has ! labor ( ! s*ool4 ,nor is ?is all4 ,i am s5sible t ! tr\ble 9 my side does n dim9i% or /& /ill2 its progress is sl[1 b evid5tly sure2 & ?\gh !re are (t5 weeks1 9 :i* ,i am n rem9d$ ( x by any s5sation1 !re are times :5 x produces great discom=t4 ,i "k f ! nature ( ! case1 t ?is may be s _m ye>s1 & also1 t at any mom5t x may sudd5ly come to a crisis1 z 9 _m cases ,i h kn[n4 ,& ,i feel t ) ! b>e possibility 7& x is mu* m7 ( hav+ b a few ye>s m to give to my *ildr51 ,i %\ld be wrong to sp5d ^! few ye>s 9 su* a hurri$ life1 t ,i _c h "t to give !m an unfett]$ h\r4 ,?is is ! case n[2 :e!r f want ( faculty1 or an undue anxiety to sp>e o!rs1 or ! necessity ( ! case1 ,i _c say4 ,all ,i "k is1 t1 ( ! eighte5 h\rs 9 :i* ,i am awake1 ,i h n "o1 commonly1 free f ! pressure ( "s necess>y1 imp]ative occupation4 ,i may almo/ say1 ,i nev] *oose my employm5t2 & z y f9d x1 s d ,i ) reg>d to my *ildr5 at home1--,i _c give any ( !m a hundr$? "p ( ! "t ,i w\ld gladly devote to !m4444 ,y wond] t ,i _c be m ) y4 ,y w\ld n wond]1 if y c\ld see h[ little ,i h "t to d ) my *ildr5 at home4 ,?is ought n to be s4 ,b !n comes ! "q1 h[ am ,i to live1 h[ educate my *ildr51 & pay my debts1 if ,i give up s mu* ( my income8 ,i answ] myself 9 ?is way1 & ,i feel satisfi$ ) ! answ]4 ,if ,i am n to live1 :at n[ supports me w help t[>ds ?is end2 & if ,i d live1 ,i feel ju/ifi$ 9 creat+ a debt = my *ildr5 to pay by & by1 :5 !y are old en\gh to "w1 9 ord] to give !m ! means ( work+ to advantage4 ,i tru/ !y w all f9d a mission to fulfil1 :i* w keep !m free f dep5d5ce1 & d good to _! fell[-m54 ,i w tru/ t ,i %all be tak5 c>e (2 = ,i ?9k ! case ( duty is cle>1--at lea/ x is s to me1 & ,i feel t ,i _c turn f x4 ,n[ d n ?9k t ?is unc]ta9ty ( life tr\bles me1 or makes me n]v\s1 & unnecess>ily anxi\s4 ,i h nev] felt m p]fect peace ( m9d1 ?an ,i h = ! la/ ?ree ye>s1 ) respect to dea?4 ,i h felt x a great bless+ to be ?us rem9d$ ( ! unc]ta9ty ( my life4 ,x is a con/ant *eck ^u me1 &1 moreov]1 makes all ! pleasures :i* lie 9 my pa? great] bless+s4 ,!re is an elevation 9 su* an habitual /ate ( m9d1 :i* takes "o beautifully away f ! annoy+ p]plexities ( life4 ,i c\ld write on = h\rs1 b ,i h said en\gh4 ,y w und]/& me1 & t is all ,i desire n[4 ,affectionately1 y\r ,"m4 ,ano!r expression ( a diff]5t k9d 0 call$ out at ?is "t1 by a case ( b]eavem5t 9 :i* %e felt deeply conc]n$4 ,we give ! lett] entire z to its object & argum5t1 because 9 none ( h] lett]s1 & 9 no o!rs t we recall1 is ! "q :i* is "h rais$ s well /at$ & answ]$4 ,x is a "q :i* comes to e consci5ti\s suff]]1--p]ta9+ to ! conflict betwe5 a s5se ( duty to ourselves & duty to o!rs1 9 ! season ( affliction & secret communion1--! desire = repose & ! call = activity4 ,we well "k :at conflicts bo? ,mrs4 ,w>e & h] husb& _h _h1 9 reg>d to ?is "q2 & we foll[ h] ) ! great] satisfaction1 z %e (f]s ! result ( h] exp]i5ce & conviction to "o ( ano!r h\sehold1 & ( ! o!r sex4 ,milton1 #ahdg4 ,,my ,,de> ,,fri5d3-- ,my visit to y ?is aft]noon 0 s brok51 s unsatisfactory1 my ?\ghts are s entirely ) y1 & my desire to help y1 at lea/ s f> z sympa?y c d s1 is s /rong1 t ,i mu/ indulge myself ?is once 9 intrud+ my poor writt5 words ^u y1 = my own relief4 ,v grateful d ,i feel to y = utt]+ y\rself s freely to me3 y d n mi/ake1 :5 y believe t ,i c und]/& all y\r d\bts & fe>s1 misgiv+s & cont5tions4 ,i h felt !m all2 & 9 ! k :i* ,i h ( all my husb& suff]$1 ,i feel z if ,i _h a d\ble p[] to sympa?ize ) y4 ,well d ,i und]/& t /range elevation ( _s :i* comes to "o 9 ! fir/ h\rs ( b]eavem5t1 :5 ! he>t is /rong to endure1 & ! m9d seems to act spontane\sly4 ,x w\ld seem1 :5 "o ) ^: _s ours _h become z x 7 id5tifi$ 'passes on1' z if we too _h ent]$ 'beh9d ! veil1' & 7 also rais$ above ! weakness & suff]+ ( humanity4 ,b ?is _c la/ long1 & ! necessity ( a return to ! occupations ( life dispels ! illusion1 & !n comes ! /ruggle f :i* y are n[ suff]+4 ,two oppos+ duties seem to pres5t !mselves1--"o claim+ quiet seclusion1 ! o!r impell+ to great activity4 ,we long = re/1 we d\bt if we h a "r to risk ! loss ( any portion ( ! b5efit :i* may come to u f ! life ( m$itation & self-communion to :i* our /ate ( m9d naturally leads u1 by go+ back to ! busy bu/le ( ext]nal life4 ,we feel t our s\l has be5 mov$ to its v dep?1 z x nev] 0 be=e1 & we long to 'hold ! fleet angel fa/1 until he bless u' ) an increase ( spiritual life1 proportionate to ! dem&s ( our condition4 ,b on ! o!r h&1 !re lie ! duties ( life1 appo9t$ by ,god = u to p]=m2 9 _! p]=mance lies our mission to ! _w2 h we any "r to neglect !m = any object ( self-improvem5t8 ,h[ %all we decide1 :5 two duties1 app>5tly ( equal importance1 seem to u p]fectly incompatible8 ,b "h1 ,i ?9k1 lies our great mi/ake4 ,we sep>ate t :i* ,god has jo9$ toge!r2 !re c be no opposition 9 8 requisitions1 & if bo? duties are requir$ ( u1 x mu/ be t !y may be unit$4 ,:at is spiritual progress8 ,:at is ! b5efit we believe to be int5d$ = u by ! discipl9e ( b]eavem5t8 ,is x increas$ love ( ,god1 reliance ^u him1 union ( s\l ) him8 ,h[ %all we ga9 ^! by any process ( m$itation1 s entirely z :51 cont5d+ aga9/ our desire = repose1 consci\s ( our utt] weakness1 ?r[+ ourselves ) ! reliance ( filial affection ^u a ,fa!r's love1 we g =? to execute ,8 w 9 ! fulfilm5t ( ! duties ,he has assign$ u1 believ+ t ,8 promises ( /r5g? w n fail8 ,& did !y ev] fail8 ,& d we n by ?is act ( fai? br+ our s\ls into t union ) ,god :i* we s mu* desire1 m truly ?an by any ab/ract ?\ght8 ,h[ c x be ne>] ?an :51 9 ! consci\sness ( our human weakness1 we feel t :atev] /r5g? we h is ,81--t ,he is inde$ pres5t to u1 act+ 9 u1--& we "k t1 :ile we h ?is fai?1 ,he w nev] cease to aid u4 ,b y w say y h tri$ ?is1 & /r5g? does n come2 y f9d y\rself m & m av]se to ef=t1 m & m incapable ( x4 ,b are y sure y are n aim+ at impossibilities1--t y are n requir+ f ! nature ,god has giv5 y m ?an y h a "r to expect1 & t1 by /riv+ aft] m ?an y c reasonably hope to obta91 y r5d] ineffective ! p[] giv58 ,d n misund]/& me4 ,i w\ld n br+ d[n 9 ! v slighte/ degree ! high /&>d ( ,*ri/ian excell5ce at :i* y aim2 b ,i w\ld h y und]/& truly ! nature ( ! means :i* ! ,creator has giv5 u by :i* to atta9 x4 ',deal g5tly ) ?9e infirmity1 wait ,god's "t4' ,y desire at once to rise to ! height to :i* y believe a ,*ri/ian fai? may elevate its possessor1 & y are disc\rag$ t ! "w is n accompli%$ :5 y ?9k x ought to be4 ,put aside1 my de> fri5d1 ?is desire to regulate ! op]ation ( ,god's provid5ce4 ,y say y h nev] = a mom5t felt t y 7 h>dly dealt )1 9 ! outw>d circum/ances ( ?is affliction4 ,apply ! same fai? to its int]nal circum/ances2 give up y\r own w z fully 9 ! "o case z 9 ! o!r2 g on1 meekly rely+ ^u ,almighty wisdom1 ) y\r appo9t$ "w1 n attempt+ too mu* at once1 b select+ j t :i* seems mo/ important1 increas+ y\r labors z y may f9d /r5g? comes to aid y1 & be cont5t to use su* measure ( /r5g? z ,god %all give1 )\t rep9+ t x is n m2 & ?is w br+ y t 'peace' = :i* y n[ sigh4 ,wa/e n "o mom5t 9 va9 regret t y _c d all y desire4 ,o1 ,i c\ld read y su* a page ( suff]+ f ?is s\rce1 z w\ld make y weep = ! s9fulness ( y\r monitor6 ,if ,i _c be an example1 let me be a w>n+ to y4 ,may ,i be an effici5t "o6 ,ev] y\r fri5d4 ,m4 ,l4 ,,w>e4 ,h[ mu* is told 9 t la/ confession & pray]6 ,%e :o ?us wrote 0 !n 9 ! mid/ ( a fa!rless & dep5d5t family1 be>+ a load ( duty nev] dis*>g$ to h] own satisfaction1 we>+ a face ( unv>y+ *e]fulness1 & /ruggl+ ) a fatal disease1 ^: progress c\ld n be hidd5 f h]self1 ?\gh hidd5 f o!rs4 ,t equanimity1 :i* _h always be5 m>k$ z a di/+ui%+ trait1 came out n[ m & m1 z ! dem& increas$1 & ! difficulty also4 ,e "o kn[s ! t5d5cy ( disease to produce irritation1--sometimes imp]ceptibly to ! suff]]1 sometimes unavoidably1 & ) a pa9ful consci\sness4 ,9 no duty or sympa?y = ! sick is !re m ne$ ( k9d all[ance2 & 9 none1 p]haps1 is x m want+4 ,"h1 x 0 n ne$$4 ,no irritation ev] appe>$4 ,we say ?is1 n f t cursory & fri5dly obs]vation :i* s (t5 mi/akes1 b f ^? :o knew4 ,"o ne> h] ?us speaks ( h] equanimity3 ,tak+ h] life ?r\gh1 z ,i knew x1 !re 7 di/urb+ causes en\gh4 ,nei!r ! less] nor ! great] seem$ to ?r[ h] (f h] balance4 ,i _c recall a ^w or act ( h>%ness4 ,di/urb$1 mov$1 sad1 ,i h se5 h]1 b no?+ ( irritation2 & ! fir/1 :]e o!rs 7 conc]n$1 or "s pr9ciple1 or morality1 r ?an :]e %e 0 h]self p]sonally int]e/$4 ,ano!r affliction came1 & came ne>] ?an any o!r c\ld1 out ( h] own family circle4 ,! decl9e :i* %e _h s anxi\sly wat*$ 9 ,emma t]m9at$ z %e _h long kn[n x mu/2 & t true fri5d _h gone be=e h] to a pur] sph]e4 ,deeply mu/ ,m>y h felt ?is at any "t1--h[ deeply !n6 ,t[>d ! end1 all ! "t t c\ld be sp>$1 day & night1 _h be5 pass$ 9 t sick-room1 :]e %e enjoy$ a communion1 & ex]t$ an influ5ce1 t few c\ld4 ,p]fect cong5iality1 p]fect confid5ce1 an intimacy ( ye>s & s\ls1 a unity ( fai? & hope1 ) an affection unres]v$ & undimm$1 b\nd !m z "o2 & :5 ! tie 0 sev]$1 ! _w seem$ ano!r abode1--fa/ pass+ away4 ,! lett]s 9 :i* ,mrs4 ,w>e speaks ( ?is *ange are mo/ t5d]1 & reveal z mu* ( ! "* ( ! writ] z ( ! subject4 ,b !y are too p]sonal to admit a free use4 ,a brief acc\nt we may take1 f a lett] :i* we ourselves receiv$4 ,i d n rememb] t ,i h writt5 to y s9ce de> c\s9 ,emma's dea?4 ,i %\ld love to tell y ( ! pleasant h\rs pass$ 9 h] *amb] aft] h] return f ,europe1 ! preci\s h\rs ( h] la/ week ) u4 ,h] /ate ( m9d 0 a mo/ elevat$ "o1 b h] words 7 few4 ,%e c\ld n ov]come ! habit ( res]ve ^u spiritual subjects1 & x 0 only 9 mom5ts ( ! mo/ private int]c\rse t %e w\ld utt] h]self freely4 ,x 0 a beautiful case ( great humility1 unit$ ) p]fect tru/4 ,%e nev] = an in/ant falt]$ 9 h] fai?1 b laid d[n h] almo/ unequall$ p[] ) z p]fect read9ess z if %e _h nev] lov$ its ex]cise4 ,y may suppose t h] loss is daily1 h\rly felt1 by all :o belong$ to h]4 ,?is is n ! same place )\t h]4 ,we con/antly miss h] wisdom & h] dis9t]e/$ k9dness4 ,d y "k t %e made ?is cottage m9e1--& m8 ,i nev] receiv$ any gift :i* 0 s unexpect$1 or s t\*+4 ,x has made ?is place m beautiful ?an ev]2 = ! v walls h n[ a sacr$ association4 ,on ,*ri/mas ,eve1 #ahdg1 ,mrs4 ,w>e1 ) "s ( h] *ildr51 jo9$ a family ga!r+ at ,cambridge1 9 ! same h\se t !y occupi$ dur+ ^? twelve ev5tful ye>s4 ,& _m 7 ! recollections awak5$ !re4 ,o1 h[ /range x seem$ to me1 to be 'gue/' 9 t h\se1 on su* an occasion6 ,i c\ld sc>cely help a s5se ( responsibility1 z if x 7 my affair4 ,& my he>t turn$ in/9ctively to ! ?\ght ( all my responsibilities !re1 & ! ?\ght ( h[ mu* he w\ld h enjoy$1 & add$ to ! enjoym5t ( o!rs4 ,!re 0 a s5se ( ! want ( 8 visible pres5ce1 su* z ,i nev] expect$ to feel aga91 s famili> h ,i become ) ! idea ( ! invisible4 ,on ! la/ night ( ! ye>1 %e writes 9 a tone m l sadness ?an 0 common ) h]1 ?\gh ) ! same tranquil tru/3--,i live n[ s entirely among ! "y1 :o c\ld n compreh5d ! results ( an old woman's long exp]i5ce1 t ,i am unconsci\sly l$ to %ut up ! ?\ghts :i* mo/ly occupy me1 le/ any %\ld be annoy$ by :at !y might n und]/&4 ,& !re are consequ5tly p]iods :5 x seems z if ,i %\ld /op1 f want ( ! sympa?y & c\nsel ( "s contempor>y :o knew ! pa/ z well z ,i d myself4 ,9 ! v>i\s que/ion+s ab\t my *ildr51 & ! _m d\bts :i* w come to an insulat$ m9d1 h[ h ,i crav$ y\r e>6444 ,x has seem$ to me1 s9ce ,emma's dea?1 t e ?+ 0 giv+ way ar\nd me4 ,i _c tell y :at a s5se1 a p]petual s5se ( unc]ta9ty1 appe>s to p]vade e ?+4 ,x seems z if n m]ely "o /rong be+ _h fail$ by ! way1 b z if /r5g? itself1 ! v ?+1 _h become weakness4 ,& ,i f9d myself cl++ m ?an ev] to ! ?+s t rema91 & m & m impati5t to use opportunities ( int]c\rse ) ^? ,i love1 feel+ t ! "t is %ort bo? = !m & myself4 ,little did ,i ?9k1 at ?is "t la/ ye>1 t ,i %\ld be "h n[2 & :5 ,i look back ^u ! int]val1 & rememb] t1 in/ead ( ! sickness ,i anticipat$1 n "o day ( actual susp5sion ( labor h ,i _h1 ,i am amaz$ at ! small am\nt ,i h accompli%$1 & wond] :y x is ,i am left4 ,! ye> has be5 m>k$ by less ext]nal *ange ?an usual1 & yet x has br\ght "s important *anges 9 ! progress ( my *ildr5's education4 ,& if ,mrs4 ,w>e _h n expect$ to see ! end ( t ye>1 %e c\ld h little idea ( see+ ! :ole ( ano!r4 ,yet ?is 0 grant$ h]1--& a little m4 ,& :atev] ! inw>d *ange1 !re 0 none outw>d1 unless 9 great] dilig5ce 9 duty1 & a m e>ne/ endeavor to make o!rs happy4 ,?is1 too1 0 evid5t1 9 conv]sation & 9 lett]s1--t :ile life 9 ! pres5t 0 /ill full & bright1 !re 0 a gr[+ conviction ( life beyond & above4 ,x 0 se5 p>ticul>ly1 z "o & ano!r ( h] fri5ds dep>t$1--:5 ! emotions express$ 7 m ( joy ?an ( sadness1 z 9 ! case ( a b]eavem5t n long be=e4 ,o1 h[ ! holy b& is ga!r+ 9 t o!r /ate6 ,& h[ ne> does x seem to u1 :5 ^? ) :om we h be5 wont to h daily int]c\rse ent] x6 ,i ?9k1 z ,i gr[ old]1 no "p ( my exp]i5ce satisfies me s mu*1 z ! consci\sness ( an increas+ s5se ( union ) a purely spiritual /ate4 ,n t "o loses all int]e/ 9 ?is /ate1 b !re comes a full] s5se ( ! reality ( ano!r4 ,,xiv4 ,,! ,,end4 ,( ,mrs4 ,w>e's la/ mon?s & days we h no?+ rem>kable to record4 ,!y did n diff] f ! mon?s & ye>s t prec$$ !m1 except t !y 7 ! la/1 & %e knew !y mu/ be4 ,b %e did n on t acc\nt seek to imp>t to !m any new aspect1 or new occupation4 ,%e _h no =mal prep>ation to make = a *ange1 great inde$ & mom5t\s1 yet p]fectly famili> to h] ?\ghts1 & nev] dismay+4 ,%e _h n left ! "w ( life to be done aft] ! p[] to d x _h gone1 b _h us$ t p[] z "o responsible = ! use ( all t 0 giv5 h]1 & %e cont9u$ to use all t rema9$1 dilig5tly & tranquilly4 ,_h %e be5 ask$1 z ano!r once 01 ,:at w\ld y d1 if y knew y %\ld die to-morr[8 we suppose h] reply w\ld h be5 ! same1--,t :i* ,i am do+ to-day4 ,& %e 0 do+ a great deal1--z mu* p]haps z %e _h ev] done1 9 all t p]ta9$ to family & fri5ds1 ! de/itute & suff]+4 ,& %e 0 enjoy+ a great deal1 bo? at home & abroad1 ) app>5tly m1 in/ead ( less1 fre$om f t s5se ( hurry :i* _h s tr\bl$ h]4 ,?is %e expresses 9 a note t we receiv$ f h] 9 ! mon? ( ,may1 #ahdh1 :i* %[s likewise h[ fre% & full 0 h] enjoym5t ( ! op5+ ye>4 ,we are beg9n+ to look lovely "h4 ,x seems to me ! spr+ 0 nev] s *>m+2 b p]haps x is t ,i am m *>m+ ?an usual6 ,c]ta9 x is1 t ,i h seldom be5 9 s favorable a /ate to enjoy x1 s free f ! pressure ( c>e & ! s5se ( hurry1 :i* has be5 ! bane ( my life4 ,i am m will+ to leave "s ?+s undone ?an ,i 04 ,is n ?is a great virtue 9 a h\sekeep]1 ^: spr+-clean+ is n done1 or likely to be ^! ?ree mon?s8 ,our s*ool has n yet adj\rn$1 & ,i %all n be q settl$ until x has4444 ,?anks = y\r lett]2 ,i %all answ] x1 if ,i ev] h a quiet h\r t has no p]emptory dem& = o!r employm5t4 ,9 ^? la/ words we see a trait :i* _m h notic$ 9 ,mrs4 ,w>e1 & :i* "o ( h] own sex1 :o _h se5 h] 9 _m situations1 ?us describes3 ,i nev] knew any "o :o _h a m j idea ( ! due proportion :i* v>i\s duties & int]e/s %\ld be> to ea* o!r4 ,%e 0 nev] "o-sid$ 9 h] views1 nev] liv$ = "o idea alone1 b took a compreh5sive view ( all h] duties & ( all h] relations to h] fell[-be+s1 & gave to ea* its due portion ( "t & att5tion4 ,?is habit is n uncommon1 p]haps1 9 heal? & active life2 b n e "o attempts to ma9ta9 x 9 sickness & ! approa* ( dea?4 ,t ,mrs4 ,w>e 0 fully consci\s ( t approa*1 ?\gh yet 9 app>5t heal?1 appe>s f _m circum/ances4 ,b %e did n talk ( x1 & few knew x4 ,%e pref]r$ n to communicate x ev5 to h] family until x 0 necess>y1 le/ x %\ld *eck ! fre$om or di/urb ! s]5ity ( a happy h\sehold1 prev5t+ r ?an promot+ ! p]=mance ( duties all ! m imp]ative if ! "t 7 %ort4 ,f a lett] to an abs5t daught]1 we take ! foll[+1 s pleasantly writt54 ,milton1 ,may #b1 #ahdh4 ,de> ,e----3 ,h n ,i got "s pretty little pap] ^u :i* to indite my lov+ ?\ghts ( !e8 ,x becomes me to h a f9e p51 & to try & be r ref9$ ?an o!rwise 9 my *irography6 ,alas = me1 :o h to write ) quill-nibs )\t m5d+6 ,b ,i h r a fancy = ^! close l9es1 :i* rem9d me ( ! days ( my y\?1 :5 ,i us$ to write z closely )\t l9es4 ,i am p>ticul>ly rem9d$ ( ^? days1 by hav+ receiv$ to-day my own lett]s to ,c\s9 ,emma2 & to deciph] "s ( !m w\ld try bett] eyes ?an mo/ p possess$ 9 h] days1 s closely writt51 s cross$ & recross$ are !y4 ,i read "o ( !m1 & h be5 liv+ ov] aga9 all day ^? s+ul> ,osmo!rly exp]i5ces4 ,i d sometimes wi% t ,i c\ld h _h ! leisure1 :ile ,i _h ! p[]1 to write out = ! in=mation ( my *ildr5 t page ( my life4 ,x 0 s p[]ful a lesson ( fai? & tru/1 t x c\ld n fail ( produc+ 9 !m1 9 "s degree1 ! same effect t x did ^u me4 ,9 look+ back ^u x1 ,i _c b feel t x 0 a peculi> bless+ to me1 z prep>atory to ! trials :i* 7 to foll[2 )\t j su* a tea*+1 x seems to me !y w\ld h ov]:elm$ me4 ,i (t5 wi% ,i c\ld convey to ! m9ds ( ^? :o are com+ ^u ! /age ( life1 ! utt] insignificance into :i* outw>d circum/ances s9k 9 retrospect1 o!r ?an z ! occasion = ! cultivation ( ! inn] be+4 ,"o almo/ =gets :e!r outw>d ?+s 7 agreeable or n4 ,! spiritual1 intellectual life is ! mo/ prom95t2 ! progress ( our own *>act]s1 ! affection :i* met our affections1 ! satisfactions ( ! s\l1 are all t leave any la/+ impression ^u ! memory4 ,by ! middle ( t summ]1 h] /r5g? _h decl9$ v p]ceptibly to h]self1 ?\gh n to common obs]v]s1 & %e felt t ! "t _h come = an explicit communication4 ,& nev] c we =get ! p]fect composure & natural *e]fulness ) :i* %e spoke ( x to "s ( u :o _h little idea ( ! :ole tru?1--%[+ a pap] t %e _h writt5 to "o ( h] *ildr51 & ask+ c\nsel 9 reg>d to x4 ,! pap] is ( too private a "* to be giv5 "h1 except a few ( ! m g5]al passages4 ,i h n ?\ght x wor? :ile to tr\ble y1 or any "o else1 ) ! k ( ?is1 :ile ,i 0 well en\gh to g on z usual1 & _h no reason to expect *ange4 ,! doctor has always said ,i might live1 z _m _h1 = ye>s1 & die f "s o!r cause1 be=e ?is became v tr\blesome2 & x may yet be s4 ,b )9 a few mon?s ! c\rse ( ! ?+ has *ang$1 & ,i _c b feel t x may come to a crisis at any "t1 & ,i be sudd5ly pro/rat$4 ,) ^! views1 ,i wi% n to hide f myself my dang]2 & ,i ?ank ,god = ! influ5ce :i* ?is consci\sness has _h ^u my m9d = a long "t pa/4 ,i h felt x good = my s\l to "k t ,i c>ri$ ab\t ) me a disease :i* mu/ be fatal4 ,x has help$ me m ?an any ?+ else to put ! ?+s ( ?is life into _! true relative position4 ,& :ile x has n = a mom5t less5$ my int]e/ or my enjoym5t ( any ?+ ar\nd me1 x has sav$ me f _m pa9ful mom5ts & anxi\s c>es1 by %[+ me ! insignificance ( mu* t ,i once c>$ too mu* =4 ,! only evil ,i h f\nd 9 x is a s5se ( hurry2 feel+ t ,i may h b little "t to "w 91 ,i am tempt$ to "w hurri$ly1 & ?us ) less com=t4 ,i _c tell y ! _m ?\ghts ,i h ( ! future de/9y ( my *ildr54444 ,i ne$ n tell y h[ inexpressibly ne>] & de>] all ! *ildr5 are to me e day ,i live1 or h[ e>ne/ly ,i pray t !y may be su* z _! fa!r's *ildr5 ought to be4 ,9 ! e>ly autumn1 %e sp5t mu* ( h] "t at ! h\se ( h] son 9 ,cambridgeport1 9 ^: family !re occurr$ a case ( sickness & dea?1 :i* engag$ h] deepe/ sympa?ies & task$ h] /r5g?4 ,once m %e became a nurse & labori\s help]4 ,aft] x1 %e sank = a "t1 b aga9 ralli$1 & ?r\gh ! great] "p ( ! w9t] cont9u$ /rong 9 _s1 ) great en]gy ( w & action1 int]e/$ 9 e ?+1 grateful = e ?+1 busily & happily occupi$4 ,( ! acc\nts giv5 u by o!rs1 beside :at we saw & he>d ( h] :ole be>+ & conv]sation t w9t]1 we c use little1 le/ x %\ld seem l eulogy1--:i* we desire to avoid1 p>ticul>ly 9 connection ) h] dea?4 ,b %\ld ?is prev5t all fre$om ( expression8 ,if we may n speak f our own m9d & he>t1 may we n f ! te/imony ( ^? :o 7 ne> en\gh to und]/& ! :ole1 yet ) no relation or int]e/ to mislead !m8 ,a lady writes3 ,x 0 my great privilege to pass a few weeks ) h] 9 ! sanctu>y ( h] own home1 9 ! e>ly progress ( ! malady :i* t]m9at$ h] natural life4 ,words fail me to convey my impression ( h] at ?is p]iod4 ,always s]5e & *e]ful1 !re 0 yet a s]i\sness 9 h] mann]1 & a dep? ( purpose 9 h] words & acts1 t 7 to me v impressive4444 ,e duty 0 to h] always a religi\s duty2 & h5ce we saw 9 h] ! same fidelity & p]fectness 9 e h\sehold c>e1 h[ev] humble or di/a/eful1 z 9 employm5ts ( a m cong5ial "*4444 ,:ile h] life 0 to me highly inspir+1 x 0 also deeply humiliat+4 ,%e seem$ to me always suffici5t to h]self 9 h] great res\rces1 & ,i felt t ,i c\ld be no?+ to h]4 ,i once told h] s2 %e smil$1 & said1 ',y don't "k h[ weak ,i feel1 & h[ ,i long to lean ^u "s "o1 & be c>ess$ & pett$ l a *ild4' ,a ne> neighbor & privileg$ fri5d says3 ,:5 we le>n$ t h] days 7 numb]$1 z we did "s mon?s be=e h] dea?1 we ( c\rse look$ ^u e ?+ connect$ ) h] ) a m subdu$ & *a/5$ int]e/4 ,%e seldom1 almo/ nev]1 allud$ to h] condition4 ,b !re 7 little val$ictory acts to be rememb]$ :5 %e 0 gone1 t %[$ h] ?\ghtfulness & love4 ,! la/ "t ,i saw h] at *ur* 0 on ,?anksgiv+ day1 ! great family fe/ival ( ,new ,engl&4 ,dur+ mo/ ( ! s]vices %e 0 9 te>s1 d\btless ?9k+ ( ^? :om %e 0 soon to jo91 & ( ^? n[ ) h] :o mu/ sp5d _! next ,?anksgiv+ alone4 ,b h] te>s 7 te>s ( ende>m5t & t5d]ness1 m ?an ( sorr[4444 ,gradually h] walks 7 giv5 up4 ,"s unusual calls on h] sympa?y & /r5g? may possibly h %ort5$ h] suff]+s4 ',b if ,i _h =ese5 x all1' %e said1 ',i %\ld h done ! same4' ,!re 0 no %r9k+ f :at lay be=e h]1 b t entire humility :i* nei!r presumes nor fe>s1 & is cont5t ) :at ,god appo9ts4 ,b we ne$ n rely on o!rs = a k ( ,mrs4 ,w>e's condition & temp] at ?is "t4 ,h] own words /ill speak = h]1 & speak ) ! same cle>ness & calmness z ev]4 ,lett]s & notes 7 writt5 to all :o _h any claim1 ?r\gh ! w9t]4 ,! ye> 0 n suff]$ to close )\t "o m annual1--! la/ seal to t firm fri5d%ip4 ,portions ( ^! lett]s & notes w s]ve z ! be/ index to ! progress ( h] life1--= we _c call x ! decl9e4 ,decemb] #bf1 #ahdh4 ,de> ,john3 ,y mu/ wond] :y ,i h n writt5 to y 9 all ?is age ( a week s9ce y 7 "h4 ,9 tru?4 ,i h n be5 able to d s1 = ,i _h to give up & g to b$4 ,i %\ld h be5 wise _h ,i done s :5 ,i fir/ came home1 ,i suppose2 b ,i 0 s sure t ,i _h no "r to expect to feel bett]1 t ,i c\ld n ?9k x wor? :ile4 ,i am bett] n[1 & am go+ to v5ture to t[n to-morr[4 ,i h _h b "o h\r yet = acc\nts1 & z my arm is becom+ m & m useless1 ,i d>e n put (f do+ :at t arm alone c d4 ,i desire s to arrange matt]s t ,i may h only tranquillity1--no hurry1 no bu/le1 no irritation any:]e4444 ,i h none b *e]ful views = myself1 & ,i desire to be sp>$ anxiety ab\t ! outside to m> t *e]fulness4444 ,i h promis$ to g into ,mr4 ,b----'s1 ,new ,ye>'s eve1 & c d t ) little fatigue4 ,kiss ,h5ry boy = 8 gr&mo!r1 & wi% him a 'happy new ye>' = me :5 ! "t comes4 99 99 99 99 99 ,decemb] #ca1 #ahdh4 ,de> ,n----3 ,once m ,i w make an attempt to write to y1 = ,i _c let ?is season g )\t giv+ y "s record ( :at is pass+1--z my reason tells me x is 9 all probability my la/ annual missive4 ,d n1 my de> fri5d1 %r9k f ?is idea1 z if x 7 "s dreadful fact :i* y wi%$ n to realize4 ,i c write x1 ,i tru/ ,i c br+ x home z a tru?1 )\t ! slighte/ quick5+ ( ! pulse1 )\t a wi% to decide my own fate4 ,i w\ld bless ,god1 t 9 ,8 t5d] love ,he has s gradually br\ght me to ! consci\sness ( ! great unc]ta9ty ( my own life1 t all connect$ ) t unc]ta9ty has be5 famili> to me ?r\gh ! s(t5+ influ5ce ( di/ance1 & my vision c n[ be> ! /rong light ( ! ne>] pres5ce )\t dismay4 ,9 recall+ ! v>i\s circum/ances 9 :i* ,i h writt5 my _m annuals to y1 ,i _c rememb] "o 9 :i* ,i h _h less anxiety ab\t ! future4 ,i feel /rangely p]plex$ sometimes at ?is2 ,i "k t :ile x is possible my life may be prolong$ _m ye>s1 yet !y w\ld be ye>s ( suff]+1 ( comp>ative uselessness1 & p]haps ( great discom=t to ^? ar\nd me2 & /ill m1 t ! m probable prospect is a rapid1 if n sudd51 annihilation ( life4 ,i h *ildr5 = ^: welf>e ,i h liv$1 & c>$ only to live = ! la/ five ye>s2 & ( ^: fate :5 ,i am gone ,i _c ev5 guess4 ,i h felt t my life 0 important to !m2 & :5 ! idea ( be+ oblig$ to leave !m fir/ came to me1 ,i ?\ght ,i mu/ be a great loss to !m2 b n[ ,i _c make x seem s by any process ( ?\ght4 ,:y is ?is8 h[ is ?is8 ,i _c tell4 ,i d n love !m less2 on ! contr>y1 my t5d]ness ( feel+ t[>ds !m increases e day4 ,i nev] c>$ s mu* to h !m ) me1 ,i nev] enjoy$ _! v>i\s p[]s m4 ,is x t ,i am "u a delusion1--t dea? is n ! reality to my m9d :i* ,i conceiv$ x to be8 ,i confess ,i _c answ] satisfactorily4 ,i seem to myself1 z ,i did at sea 9 a dang]\s /orm1 quiet1 confid+1 sure t no human help c aid1 & n anxi\s to look beyond ! pres5t4 ,b x may be t x is only because1 :ile we are able to ex]cise bo? m5tal & physical p[]s 9 "s way all ! "t1 x is impossible to br+ home ! conviction t all may /op at any mom5t4 ,"o solution ( ! my/]y comes to me sometimes4 ,y "k ,i h felt1 ev] s9ce my husb&'s dea?1 t x 0 ! mo/ inexplicable my/]y t my *ildr5 %\ld h be5 left to my sole c>e in/ead ( 81 :5 ,i 0 s defici5t 9 ! p[] to d = !m :at a p>5t %\ld4 ,i c\ld only satisfy myself by ! fact1 t ! ,all-wise1 ,all-p[]ful1 c\ld ov]rule my mi/akes1 & ,i _h no "r to ask :y4 ,?is consci\sness ( ineffici5cy has nev] left me1 & ,i _c !re=e feel t my )drawal w be to !m an ess5tial evil4 ,i h se5 _m in/ances ( *ildr5 left1 z m9e w be1 to _! own guidance1 :o h evid5tly made mu* /rong] *>act]s = t self-dep5d5ce4 ,& ?\gh !y may suff]1 p]haps1 z ,i did1 f ! loss ( t affection :i* a p>5t only c give1 we see s _m suff]+ q z mu* f ! misdirection ( t affection1 :]e ! tie is n ?us brok51 t we d>e n say1 9 any giv5 in/ance1 :i* fate w\ld be ! be/ = a *ild4 ,( "o ?+ we are c]ta92 we are %ort-sight$1 f9ite be+s1 our m9ds c fa?om b "p1 '"o little "p1' ( ! plan ( ,provid5ce2 & we _c tell b :at ! mo/ adv]se circum/ances may be made in/rum5tal to ! education ( ! s\l1 by t ov]rul+ ,p[] :i* sees ! end & ! beg9n+4 ,we und]/& s little ( ! true "* ( ea* individual m9d1 t we "k n b t :at seems mo/ adv]se is 9 reality be/ adapt$ to its wants4 ,:y1 !n1 c we n be cont5t to give up our own desires1 our own judgm5ts1 all anxieties1 all plans1 & tru/ t all w be ord]$ "r8 ,n c]ta9ly to sit d[n passively & d no?+2 b1 c>efully wat*+ ! indications ( ,provid5ce1 to ex]cise our be/ judgm5ts 9 try+ to fur!r its designs1 & be cont5t ) ! issues4 99 99 99 99 99 ,janu>y #ba1 #ahdi4 ,de> ,l\isa3 ,i s5d ! above j z x has la9 9 my desk ^! ?ree weeks1 to %[ y t ,i h 'made an ef=t4' ,i devot$ t la/ ev5+ ( ! ye> to writ+ to y & ,n----1 & began y\r lett] fir/2 b my arm 0 s pa9ful t ,i soon f\nd ,i c\ld n accompli% bo?2 & ,i laid aside y\rs1 because ,i 0 reluctant to omit1 = ! fir/ "t 9 m ?an ?irty ye>s1 my annual to h]1 feel+ z ,i did t x w\ld probably be my la/4 ,?is y w p>don2 b1 9 ju/ice to myself1 ,i mu/ g back & tell y :y ,i _h n be=e ev5 comm5c$ an answ] to y1 because ,i consid] ! m]e fact ( seem+ neglect ( su* a lett] ought to be fully expla9$1 = ! cr$it ( human nature 9 g5]al4444 ,i h be5 greatly bless$ 9 f9d+1 t1 z ! reality ( :at lies be=e me has become m & m di/9ct to my consci\sness1 ,i h lo/ no?+ ( ! tranquil fai? :i* made me will+ to acquiesce 9 x4 ,my n]v\s sy/em is n t\*$ yet 9 a way to affect ! firmness ( my views ( ! future4 ,my great /udy n[ is1 h[ to d my "p t[>ds mak+ ?is exp]i5ce ( mo/ value to my *ildr54 ,:ile ,i wi% n to )hold f !m any b5efit !y may receive by free & full k ( my condition1 ,i am sure x mu/ be introduc$ ) a judici\s ref]5ce to _! diff]5t ca/s ( "*4 ,i am feel+ my way1 & e>ne/ly pray to be guid$ aright4444 ,z to my visit+ y1 ,i h n be5 a mile f home = _m weeks1--c only ride a little 9 a v easy vehicle )\t suff]+ = days aft] x4 ,b ,i am cont5t to be quiet4 ,aft] su* a life ( activity1 ,i enjoy ! "r to be /ill1 m ?an ,i c tell2 & ,i h home employm5t en\gh to fill all ! "t1 if x prove t5 times z long z ,i ?9k x w4 ,i hope to see y "h :5 ! wea!r is w>m]1 if ,god %\ld sp>e me until !n4 ,god bless y1 de> ,l46 ,i love to h y\r lett]s1 b _c promise to answ] !m v punctually4 99 99 99 99 99 ,janu>y #bh1 #ahdi1 ,sunday ,ev5+4 ,my de> ,lucy3 ,/range inde$ mu/ x seem to y1 t y\r k9d1 sympa?iz+ lett]1 writt5 m ?an two mon?s s9ce1 %\ld n h receiv$ an answ] long be=e ?is2 & if y h n1 ?r\gh "s ( y\r mutual fri5ds1 he>d some?+ ( ! progress ( ?+s ) u s9ce !n1 y mu/ ?9k x p]fectly unp>donable4 ,b 9 tru?1 de> ,lucy1 ,i h ?\ght mu* ( y1 & long$ to write1 & /ill m to see y2 & no?+ %ort ( physical inability has prev5t$ me f long ago report+ myself to y4 ,x is n wor? :ile n[ to g back to ! v>i\s causes :i* at fir/ prev5t$ my writ+4 ,i h lo/ gr\nd greatly 9 ! la/ ?ree mon?s1 & %\ld ,i cont9ue to d s = ! next 9 ! same proportion1 ,i %all be a m]e burd52 b no "o c =m any calculation ab\t x1 & ,i desire n to attempt x4 ,i h no wi% to p5etrate ! future4 ,i "k all w be ord]$ z x _h be/ be4 ,:at m c ,i ne$ to "k8 ,i feel t ,i h special cause = gratitude 9 ! l5g? ( "t giv5 me to make ! subject famili> to my m9d2 & n less s1 t ! disease s f> does n di/urb ! p]fect tranquillity ( my m9d1 or take f me any ( ! advantages ( ?is long prep>ation4 ,my fai? is /rong t ,he :o has be5 ! ,fa!r ( ! fa!rless1 & ! wid[s' ,god1 w protect & guide ! orphans ,i mu/ leave beh9d me4 ,x is n 9 va9 t ,i h _h an orphan's exp]i5ce4 ,,he guid$ me 9 safety ?r\gh ! _m p]ils :i* beset ! lonely "o2 ,i may surely tru/ ,him = ^? to :om ,he has v\*saf$ ! aid ( k9dr$ s ne> & de>4 ,my only c>e n[ is1 h[ to d my "p 9 giv+ !m ! full advantage ( ?is discipl9e1 & ,i e>ne/ly pray to be guid$ aright4444 ,i %\ld love to see y1 & hope to d s 9 ! c\rse ( ! w9t] or spr+4 ,i sit quietly at home1 b h seldom a day )\t visitors1 sometimes to we>9ess2 b ,i love to see my fri5ds1 & !y are _m2 ,i _c say nay to !m4 ,i h n be5 to ,cambridge s9ce ,i fir/ came home1 & to ,bo/on only twice = two mon?s1 & c\ld n d x n[4 ,b p]haps1 :5 ,i c take m air1 ,i may ga9 a little m /r5g?1 & /ay a little long] ?an seems probable n[4 ,( ?is y may re/ assur$1 t1 come :5 x may1 ,i c say ) p]fect tru?1 ',n z ,i w1 b z ,?\ wilt4' 99 99 99 99 99 ,febru>y #c1 #ahdi4 ,de> ,fri5d3 ,i "k y w be glad to h a ^w directly f u ( our welf>e1 & ,i !re=e gladly avail myself ( a k9d (f] to take a note to y1 ?\gh ,i h "t only = a %ort "o4 ,i h _h my ups & d[ns s9ce y 7 "h1 b on ! :ole d n ?9k !re is any mat]ial *ange2--"s days ( great suff]+1 & !n aga9 days & nights ( p]fect ease4 ,s ,i h _h mu* = :i* to be grateful 9 ! alt]nation1 = ! days ( suff]+ made ! seasons ( relief m delightful1 & ! re/ enables me ! bett] to be> ! suff]+4 ,mu* inde$ h ,i to be grateful =4 ,nev] 0 k9dness be/[$ ^u mortal1 ,i believe1 su* z is e day %[]$ ^u me1 & no?+ yet has come to di/urb ! s]5ity ( my m9d4 ,i f9d myself z free to enjoy all t is pass+ z ev]1 & ! 'daily duty1' small ?\gh x be to me n[1 int]e/s & satisfies me4444 ,i h an almo/ incessant influx ( visitors1 :i* sometimes we>ies me2 b !n ,i love to see !m1 & ,i enjoy ! occasional quiet h\r all ! m4 ,my wakeful h\rs at night are ! mo/ preci\s1 be+ happily free f all n]v\s re/lessness2 & (t5 d ,i wi% ,i _h "s o!r wakeful _s at my side ) :om ,i c\ld commune ( ! pass+ visions4 ,b en\gh ( self4 99 99 99 99 99 ,de> ,m>ia3 ,i did n l1 9 y\r %ort visit1 to occupy any "t ) self2 b ,i %\ld love to tell y ( ! bless$ peace :i* is giv5 me 9 relation to ! trial :i* lies be=e me1 & ( ! fai? & hope :i* %$ _! tranquil light ^u ! future1 ev5 9 respect to t mo/ try+ po9t1 ,:at w become ( my *ildr58444 ,= :ile ,i feel t e day :i* is sp>$ me makes !m all m & m de> to me1 ,i realize m & m t ,i _c be sep>at$ f !m4 ,! fri5d to :om ^? la/ words 7 writt51 !n a wife & "m h]self1 & once a *]i%$ p>i%ion] ( ,mr4 & ,mrs4 ,w>e1 has s9ce jo9$ _! communion above4 ,& h] "p ( ?is correspond5ce %[s h[ beautiful _h be5 ! influ5ce ( ! life ^: close %e n[ witness$4 ,inde$1 ! fact itself %\ld be /at$1 if no?+ m1 z belong+ to ! actual "* ( ,m>y ,w>e1 t ! _m lett]s & notes :i* came to h] 9 ^! decl9+ days1 f fri5ds ne> & fri5ds abroad1 are fill$1 n ) empty praise1 nor yet useless & di/ress+ grief1 b ) expressions ( grateful joy = ! p[] ( h] fai? 9 ! pres5t /ruggle1 & its p[] ^u !m1 9 ! pa/ & always4 ,if ev] !re 0 evid5ce ( ! reality & influ5ce ( ! ,*ri/ian fai? 9 itself1 or ( a peculi> =m ( x1 x might be %[n "h4 ,! believ] & suff]] ?\ght less ( any peculi>ities1 ?an ( ! ess5tial _s & p[]4 ,b all t %e _h held1 %e reta9$1 & f\nd suffici5t1--unfail+ly1 abundantly suffici5t4 ,& x 0 a bless+ to h] 9 h] la/ days1 to "k t o!rs ( ! same fai? felt its su/a9+ p[]1 & %>$ ) h] 9 its peace & joy4 ,! fri5d to :om we h j ref]r$ writes3 ,sc>cely an h\r passes 9 ! day1 t ,i d n ?9k ( y ) s mu* t5d]ness & sympa?y z ,i h no words to convey to y4 ,! ?\ght ( y does me good4 ,i "k :at is pass+ 9 ! dep? ( y\r s\l1 & x gives me /r5g? to g on4 ,w y pray = me1 t :ile ,i live ,i may d :at is "r1 *e]fully & submissively1 if n joyfully8 ,%e begs ,mrs4 ,w>e to write d[n1 or let ano!r write1 "s passages ( h] life4 ,y\r exp]i5ce has s bless$ me1 t ,i long to spread its influ5ce4 ,i c nev] ?ank y = :at y & our sa9t$ fri5d1 ) :om y seem n[ m ?an ev] '"o1' h done = my s\l4 ,ano!r1 :o 0 h]self ! wid[$ wife ( "o ( ! be/ ( m51 writes to ,mrs4 ,w>e ( _! =m] int]c\rse & communion3 ,!re has be5 no alloy m+l$ 9 ?is cup ( bless+2 we c c>ry x all ) u to our ,fa!r's h\se4 ,) my :ole he>t ,i rejoice t y are able to act out y\r highe/ convictions1 t y\r disease s g5tly looses ! bonds to e>?1 z to leave y\r _s free to be> its te/imony to ! la/ to ! p[] ( y\r fai? 9 ! goodness ( ,god1 & ! reality ( ev]la/+ life4 ',he t live? & believe? %all nev] see dea?4' ,) y & me dea? has lo/ its /+4 ,are we n will+ to g :]e ^? we h lov$ s truly are gone8 ,%all we n gladly make _! home our home8 ,x is n ! fe> ( dea? t ev] presses ^u me1 b ! fe> ( n be+ wor?y ( ! unutt]able happ9ess ( a reunion ) ^? t h gone be=e me2 s ,i welcome pa91 hop+ x may purge me ( my s9s1 & make me m fit = heav54 ,sometimes1 :5 ! idea is v cle> & /rong 9 my m9d ( et]nal life ) ! good & great s\ls t ,i h kn[n "h1 ,i gasp = brea?1 &1 l ! disciples1 '_c believe = joy4' ,& surely1 de> ,m>y1 ! love t has be5 p]fect love _c be qu5*$ or turn$ f u 9 ! l& ( spirits to :i* we are t5d+1--9 :i* y seem to me n[ to be liv+4 ,^! s5tim5ts are ! reflection ( h] m9d1 :o _h done s mu* to =m or invigorate !m4 ,!y 7 "s ( ! bless$ fruits ( ! fai? t %e & h] husb& _h *]i%$1--! fai? t /ill b\nd h] to him1 & to all :om %e lov$4 ,z su*1 %e welcom$ !m4 ,b ! mom5t ! p>tiality ( fri5ds c>ri$ !m beyond ?is1 & impli$ ! lea/ m]it or p[] ( h] own1 %e 0 pa9$4 ,i ?ank y = ?is note2 yet--%all ,i say x8--x pa9$ me4 ,i d n l to feel t my fri5ds are attribut+ to my ef=ts t :i* ,i feel is ! direct action ( a high] p[]4 ,kn[+ z ,i d h[ great are my defici5cies1 h[ f> ,i fall %ort ( ! 'p]fect /ature1' ,i _c b feel humbl$ by su* expressions4444 ,please ?ank ,mrs4 ---- mo/ gratefully = h] k9d (f]s ( aid4 ,i seem to be s ov]:elm$ ) com=ts1 t ,i h no?+ to ask = myself4 ,o1 h[ great is ! goodness ( ,god t[>ds me6 ,x is a t\*+ incid5t1 t "o lett] came f ,engl& j too late4 ,x 0 f 'little ,jamie1' ! mo!rless boy1 n[ a man1 ^: life ,m>y ,pick>d _h be5 in/rum5tal 9 sav+1 dur+ ! dreadful sickness at ,osmo!rly4 ,%e _h nev] he>d f him4 ,b he n[ wrote a long & grateful lett]1 ?ank+ h] = h] k9dness to 8 dy+ p>5ts & to himself1 ( :i* he _h he>d s mu*1 z well z = h] cont9u$ remembrance ( 8 ag$ gr&mo!r z long z %e liv$4 ,_h ! lett] come a few days soon]1 x w\ld h r5d]$ /ill m f]v5t ! ?ankfulness :i* fill$ & animat$ t dea?less he>t4 ,we (f] no?+ m f ,mrs4 ,w>e's p54 ,%e us$ x z long z %e _h /r5g?1 =gett+ no fri5d1 keep+ h] p]sonal & dome/ic acc\nts1 & leav+ no?+ to o!rs t %e c\ld d h]self4 ,att5tion to ?+s temporal 0 ) h] n ev5 second>y1 b "p ( religion1 all ( :i* 0 prim>y & ess5tial4 ,ess5tial also1 9 h] view1 0 ! duty ( *e]fulness1 & ( mak+ o!rs happy4 ,?\ghtfulness = o!rs1 & a p>ticipation 9 all _! joys1 7 among ! late/ manife/ations1 z prevail+ 9 sickness z 9 full heal?4 ,%e wi%$ no h\sehold duty to /op = h]1 no happy face ( y\? or manhood to lose its brightness4 ,! song ( ! birds1 & ! song ( ! *ildr51 7 glad notes ev5 to h] decay+ s5se4 ,nev] did a sick-room h less ( ! odor ( sickness ?an t1 says "o ( h] *ildr54 ,x 0 ! brighte/ spot on e>?4 ,no?+ 0 %ut out f x1 b ! door /ood wide = all ! joys & hopes ( all1 ev5 to ! la/4 ,9 ?is connection x des]ves to be m5tion$1 t ,mrs4 ,w>e f\nd a true & mo/ devot$ fri5d 9 h] physician4 ,%e knew ! wor? ( su* a fri5d2 & x 0 "o ( h] la/ acts ( ?\ghtfulness & gratitude1 to beg h] *ildr5 to rememb] ! k9dness ( ! ,doctor4#f ,footnote #f3 ,dr4 ,c4 ,c4 ,holmes1 ( ,milton4 ,! la/ lett] t ,mrs4 ,w>e wrote1 or r dictat$1 0 9 behalf ( an ag$ & de/itute cl]gyman1 ^: family %e _h (t5 tak5 to h] home1 & = ^: b5efit ! provision made by "s g5]\s fri5ds1 p>tly z a solace to h] own dep>t+ _s1 %$ ^u t _s a s]5] & bright] radiance4 ,to him :o told h] ( x1 %e said1 joyfully1 ,i hope to h "s spiritual m9i/ry giv5 to me2 ,i h be5 able to d little "h1 b ,i hope to d m4 ,) great cle>ness1 & 9 words t 7 reta9$1 %e _h def9$ to a fri5d & cl]gyman1 a %ort "t be=e1 h] views ( ! _w to :i* %e 0 draw+ ne>4 ,i f9d myself ?9k+ v little ( ! future _w z to its 'circum/ances4' ,i mean1 ,i am surpris$ to f9d h[ little curiosity ,i feel ab\t x4 ,i tru/ myself ) my ,fa!r1 bo? n[ & h]eaft]4 ,:atev] is be/ = me !n1 z n[1 ,i feel sure w be orda9$4444 ,if we suff] "h1 x is by a ,fa!r's h&1 x is 9 wisdom & m]cy4 ,if we suff] !re1 x mu/ be no less s4 ,no1 ,i desire to suff] 9 ! com+ _w1 z 9 ?is1 if ,he pleases1 if ,he w t ,i %\ld4 ,i h a p]fect tru/ & confid5ce 9 ,god4444 ,ah1 ,mr4 ,h----1 x is ! self-surr5d]1 a r5unciation ( our w = ,god's1 :i* is ! ?+4 ,if we c only d ?is truly1 x is all4 ,b h[ mu* x means6 ,x has relation to ! :ole ( life4 ,x 9 eludes action z well z endurance4 ,x is a p]petual act4 ,at times we feel /rong to d x1--to d x 9 "o great act4 ,b 9 ! details ( life we come sadly %ort4444 ,!re are "s :o seem to ?9k ( self-surr5d] z imply+ & induc+ a c]ta9 weakness ( ! _s1 a giv+ up ( p[]1 a less5+ ( ! s\l's activity4 ,b x is n s4 ,f> f x4 ,x implies no less5+ ( activity1 ( en]gy or p[] ( "*4 ,x is t ^! are out ( self1 & 9 & = ,,god4 ,! aft]noon ( ! day be=e %e di$1 writes h] pa/or1 ,i 0 told t %e _h express$ a desire to see me4 ,z ,i ent]$ ! room1 h] face 0 p]fectly radiant4 ,%e knew t h] h\r _h come1 & %e w\ld say a few la/ words ( k9dness to u all4 ',i wi% to ?ank y1' %e said1 '= all t y h done1--e ?+4 ,& x is all "h1' plac+ h] h& on h] brea/1 'x is all "h4 ,?is peace1 ?is peace6 x is all "h4' ',yes1' ,i repli$1 'if we seek we %all f9d x4' ',i h n s\ght x1' %e said quickly4 ',x came4 ,x 0 s5t4' 444 ',come ) a smile1' %e said to "o :om %e _h call$ to bid h] f>ewell4 ,& h] *amb] !n seem$ to u m z a =ec\rt ( heav51 ?an a pa9ful approa* to ! tomb4 ,on a lovely ,april day1 ! w9d[s ( h] room all op5 t %e might brea! freely1 %e look$ up at "o :o ent]$1 & said ) a smile1 ,:at a beautiful day to g home6 ,ne> ! end1 "o at h] side said to ano!r1 9 te>s1 ,h[ mu* /rong] %e is ?an we are6 ,i am s mu* ne>] ! ,s\rce ( /r5g?1 %e :isp]$4 ,h] suff]+ 0 acute1 b h] ?\ght & c>e 7 m = o!rs ?an h]self1 to ! la/4 ,mu* ( ! "t %e held 9 h] h& t sacr$ note :i* h] husb& _h writt5 to h] :5 he ?\ght himself dy+1 at a di/ance4 ,& preci\s1 v preci\s1 mu/ h be5 to h] ^? la/1 p>t+ words f "o to :om %e 0 n[ go+4 ,de>1 de> ,m>y1 if ,i c\ld1 ,i w\ld express all ,i owe to y4 ,y h be5 an unspeakable1 an indescribable bless+4 ,god rew>d y a ?\s& fold6 ,f>ewell1 till we meet aga94 99 99 99 99 99 ,9 ! ev5+ twilight ( ano!r balmy day1--,,good ,,friday1--t sp5t frame 0 laid by ! side ( 81 9 ! hall[$ re/ ( ,m\nt ,auburn4 ,& z we turn$ away1 we felt t ano!r tie to e>? 0 brok51 & he>d ano!r voice call+ u to heav54 99 99 99 99 99 ,) regret1 r ?an gladness1 we lay d[n ! p5 :i* has attempt$ to record ! life ( a humble ,*ri/ian4 ,delightful has x be5 to r5ew our communion1 & ext5d our intimacy1 ) "o ^: pres5ce 0 always felt z a bless+4 ,if we h transgress$ ! b\nds we set = ourselves 9 ! beg9n+1 & giv5 expression to feel+s z well z facts1 we c only say t we h repress$ m ?an we h disclos$ ( ! recollections & emotions awak5$ by ?is int]c\rse4 ,a true portrait may seem to be praise1 b less ?an t w\ld be inju/ice4 ,we draw no "*1 9 ! end1 b only ref] to ! two facts :i* seem mo/ wor?y ( note4 ,fir/1 ! am\nt ( happ9ess enjoy$ by "o ^: life 0 pass$ 9 ! mid/ ( sickness & trial1 & :o = six ye>s felt t a fatal & di/ress+ disease 0 consum+ h] life1--yet c\ld say ( ! :ole1 ,x has be5 a beautiful exp]i5ce4 ,i h be5 s happy1--no "o c tell h[ happy4 ,&1 next1 ! illu/ration "h se5 ( ! l>ge sph]e1 ! va/ p[]1 & imp]i%able "w1 ( a woman :o nev] left ! dome/ic relations1 nor aspir$ to any ?+ t is n possible to e daught]1 wife1 & "m4 ,if ?is appe>1 x is en\gh1--t religion1 ) or )\t rank1 weal?1 beauty1 r>e end[m5t1 v>i$ accompli%m5t1 or any s+ul>ity1 c lift ,,woman to ! highe/ di/9ction & conf] ! mo/ endur+ glory1--t ( fill+ well1 n ! n>r[1 b ! wide & div9e realm ( ,,home4