,,mr4 ,,pun* ,,9 ,,bohemia ,,pun* ,,libr>y ,,( ,,hum\r ,edit$ by ,j4 ,a4 ,,hamm]ton ,design$ to provide 9 a s]ies ( volumes1 ea* complete 9 itself1 ! cream ( our national hum\r1 contribut$ by ! ma/]s ( comic draughtsman%ip & ! lead+ wits ( ! age to ,pun*1 f its beg9n+ 9 #ahda to ! pres5t day4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,mr4 ,,pun* ,,9 ,,bohemia ,illu/ration 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,%akspe>e ,,illu/rat$ ,t$i\s z a twice-told tale1 ,vex+ ! dull e> ( a dr[sy man4 ,k+ ,john4 ,act ,,iii41 ,sc4 #d4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,mr4 ,,pun* ,,9 ,,bohemia ,,or ,,! ,,light] ,,side ,,( ,,lit]>y1 ,,arti/ic ,,& ,,pr(essional ,,life ,illu/ration ,,z ,,pictur$ ,,by ,,phil ,,may1 ,,*>les ,,ke5e1 ,,george ,,du ,,mauri]1 ,,dudley ,,h>dy1 ,,fr$ ,,pegram1 ,f4 ,h4 ,,t[ns5d1 ,,lewis ,,baum]1 ,l4 ,,rav5-,,hill1 ,j4 ,,b]n>d ,,p>tridge1 ,e4 ,t4 ,,re$1 ,h4 ,m4 ,,brock1 ,c4 ,e4 ,,brock1 ,,tom ,,br[ne1 ,,gunn+ ,,k+1 ,,h>ry ,,furniss1 ,a4 ,,wallis ,,mills1 ,g4 ,l4 ,,/ampa1 ,,& ,,o!rs #aef ,,illu/rations ,,publi%$ ,,by ,,arrangem5t ,,) ,,! ,,proprietors ,,( ,,pun* ,,! ,,educational ,,book ,,co4 ,,ltd4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,pun* ,,libr>y ,,( ,,hum\r ,tw5ty-five ,volumes1 cr[n #hvo1 #aib pages fully illu/rat$ ,,life ,,9 ,,london ,,c\ntry ,,life ,,9 ,,! ,,highl&s ,,scotti% ,,hum\r ,,iri% ,,hum\r ,,cockney ,,hum\r ,,9 ,,society ,,aft] ,,d9n] ,,/ories ,,9 ,,bohemia ,,at ,,! ,,play ,,mr4 ,,pun* ,,at ,,home ,,on ,,! ,,cont9ong ,,railway ,,book ,,at ,,! ,,seaside ,,mr4 ,,pun* ,,afloat ,,9 ,,! ,,hunt+ ,,field ,,mr4 ,,pun* ,,on ,,t\r ,,) ,,rod ,,& ,,gun ,,mr4 ,,pun* ,,a:eel ,,book ,,( ,,sports ,,golf ,,/ories ,,9 ,,wig ,,& ,,g[n ,,on ,,! ,,w>pa? ,,book ,,( ,,love ,,) ,,! ,,*ildr5 ,illu/ration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,way ,,to ,,bohemia ,illu/ration ,"t 0 :5 ,bohemianism 0 synonym\s ) soil$ l95 & unkempt locks4 ,b ^? days ( ! ragg$ ,bohemia h happily pass$ away1 & t l& ( unconv5tional life--:i* _h f9ally gr[n conv5tional 9 its *>act]i/ics--has n[ become a sph]e ( influ5ce ( ,mod]n ,society6 ,9 a ^w1 x is n[ respectable4 ,!re are ^? :o firmly believe x has be5 wip$ (f ! social map4 ,! dress suit & ! proprieties are ?\ght by "s to be incompatible ) its exi/5ce4 ,b x is n s2 ! new ,bohemia is surely no less delightful ?an ! old4 ,! way to x is ?r\gh ! doors ( almo/ any ( ! well-kn[n lit]>y & art clubs ( ,london4 ,its inhabitants are our arti/s1 our m5 ( lett]s1 our musicians1 &1 above all1 our actors4 ,9 ! pres5t volume we are "u ! guidance ( ,mr4 ,pun*1 himself ! v fl[] ( ,london's ,bohemia1 into ?is l& ( light-he>t$ laught] & ! free-&-easy mann] ( liv+4 ,we %all foll[ him *iefly ?r\gh ! haunts ( ! knights ( ! p5 & p5cil1 z we h ano!r engagem5t to sp5d "s agreeable h\rs ) him 9 ! !atrical & musical _w4 ,x %\ld be not$1 h[ev]1 t we %all n be limit$ to :at has be5 call$ ,upp] ,bohemia1 b t we %all1 ?anks to 8 va/ exp]i5ce1 be able to peep bo? at ! old & new4 ,easily fir/ among/ ! arti/s :o h depict$ ! hum\rs ( ,bohemia is ,phil ,may4 ,ke5e & ,du ,mauri] run him close1 b _! ,bohemia is on ! :ole m arti/ic1 less breezily1 ragg$ly1 hungrily unconv5tional ?an 84 ,x is a subject t has inspir$ him ) "s ( 8 be/ jokes1 & "s ( 8 f9e/ draw+s4 ,illu/ration 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration ,,mr4 ,,pun* ,,9 ,,bohemia ,,! ,,invalid ,,au?or4--,wife4 ,:y1 nurse is read+ a book1 d>l+6 ,:o gave x h]8 ,husb&4 ,i did1 my de>4 ,wife4 ,:at book is x8 ,husb&4 ,x's my la/4 ,wife4 ,d>l+6 ,:5 y knew h[ important x is t %e %\ldn't g to sleep6 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,bookworm',s ,,obs]vation4--,:5 a man has got turn$ ( #gj1 he is 9 ! app5dix ( life4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,table ,,( ,,cont5ts4--,! d9n] table4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,! ,,grub ,,& ,,! ,,butt]fly ,i4 ,all "r1 sir4 ,i'll j wa% 'er face1 sir1 & !n %e %all come r\nd to y\r /oodio1 sir4 ,,ii4 ,"h's a little girl come = y1 sir6 99 99 99 99 99 ,,pun*',s ,,prov]bs ,mo/ /icks h two ends1 & a muff gets hold ( ! wrong "o4 ,! good boy /udies 8 lesson2 ! bad boy gets x4 ,if sixp5ce 7 sun%9e1 x w\ld nev] be lo/ 9 ! giv+4 ,! man t is happy 9 all ?+s w rejoice 9 potatoes4 ,?ree removes are bett] ?an a dess]t4 ,d9n] def]r$ make? ! hungry man mad4 ,bacon )\t liv] is food = ! m9d4 ,=ty w9ks or five million is "o sleep4 ,y don't g to ! ,mansion ,h\se = skilligolee4 ,?ree may keep c\nsel if !y reta9 a b>ri/]4 ,:at is done _c be und]done4 ,y c't make a pair ( %oes out ( a pig's tail4 ,d9n] h\r is wor? e o!r1 except b$time4 ,no hairdress] puts grease into a wise man's head4 ,an upright judge = a d[nright rogue4 ,happ9ess is ! h9dmo/ horse 9 ! ,d]by4 ,look be=e y sit4 ,be> & =ebe> is ,bru9 & tripe4 ,believe twice z mu* z y he> ( a lady's age4 ,cont5t is ! conjuror t turns mock-turtle into real4 ,!re is no "o :o p]sev]es 9 well-do+ l a ?or\gh humbug4 ,! loose/ fi% t dr9ks is tight4 ,education won't poli% boots4 ,exp]i5ce is ! "m ( gumption4 ,half-a-cr[n is bett] ?an no bribe4 ,utopia ha? no law4 ,!re is no cruelty 9 :ipp+ cream4 ,c>e w kill a cat2 c>elessness a ,*ri/ian4 ,he :o lights 8 c&le at bo? ends1 spills grease4 ,keep y\r jokes to y\rself1 & repeat o!r p's4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,be/ ,,text-,,book ,,= ,,pugili/s4--,knox on anatomy4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,acrobats' ,,tipple4--,*ampagne 9 tumbl]s4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,:at ,,our ,,arti/ ,,has ,,to ,,put ,,up ,,)4--,fond ,"m4 ,i d wi% y w\ld look ov] "s ( my little boy's sket*es1 & give me y\r c&id op9ion on !m4 ,!y /rike me z p]fectly m>vell\s = "o s "y4 ,! o!r day he drew a horse & c>t1 &1 ,i c assure y1 y c\ld sc>cely tell ! diff]5ce4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,our ,,smok+ ,,conc]t ,irate ,memb]4 ,well1 ,i'll take my oa? ,i came 9 a hat6 99 99 99 99 99 ,,editors ,editors1 beh9d _! (ficialism1 are human j l o!r folks1 = !y ?9k & !y "w1 !y laugh & !y play1 !y m>ry--j z o!rs d4 ,! be/ ( !m are brimful ( human nature1 sympa!tic & k9dly1 & full ( ! ze/ ( life & its m]ry ways4--,r\nd ,ab\t4 ,to look at1 ! ord9>y editor is s l a human be+ t x takes an exp]t to tell ! diff]5ce4 ,:5 q "y !y make excell5t pets1 b = "s /range reason p nev] confess t !y h editors 9 ! h\se4 ,m>riage is n uncommon among editors1 & monogamy is ! rule r ?an ! exception4 ,! *ief hobby ( an editor is ! collection ( /amp$ address$ envelopes1 :i* are s5t to him 9 l>ge numb]s4 ,no "o kn[s :y he %\ld want s _m ( ^!1 b we believe he is "u ! impression t by collect+ a million ( !m he w be able to get a *ild into "s hospital4 ,( c\rse 9 ^! enlight5$ days x is illegal to %oot editors1 :ile to de/roy _! "y is tantam\nt to murd]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,c\ntry ,c\s9 7look+ at ,index ( ,r4 ,a4 ,catalogue74 ,uncle1 :at does #a1 #c1 #f1 #h1 aft] a man's "n1 mean8 ,uncle 7:o has be5 dragg$ !re mu* aga9/ 8 w74 ,eh6 ,:at8 #a1 #c---- ,oh1 ,telephone numb]6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,9 ,,! ,,arti/',s ,,room4--,potztaus5d4 ,my fri5d1 x is kolossal6 mo/ rem>k-wor?y6 ,y rem9d me on ,rub9/e92 b y are bett] z he4 ,piani/ 7pleas$74 ,inde$6 ,h[8 ,potztaus5d4 ,9 de b]sbiration4 ,my fri5d ,rub9/e9 c\ld nev] b]sbire s mo*6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,bro!rs ,,9 ,,art4--,new ,arrival4 ,:at %\ld ,i *>ge = tea*+ ze pian(orte8 ,old ,/ag]4 ,oh1 ,i don't "k4 ,n4 ,a4 ,vell1 tell me vot y *>ge4 ,o4 ,s4 ,i *>ge five gu9eas a lesson4 ,n4 ,a4 ,himmel6 h[ _m pupils h y got8 ,o4 ,s4 ,oh1 ,i h no pupils6 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,division ,,( ,,lab\r ,j\rnalism4--,g5tleman 7b>ri/]7 (f]s furni%$ b$room 9 com=table1 *e]ful *amb]s 9 ,temple 9 return = equival5t j\rnali/ic assi/ance1 c4--,times4 ,! equival5t is r a nice po9t4 ,mr4 ,pun* sugge/s = o!r g5tlem5 b>ri/]s ! foll[+ table ( equival5ce3-- #a furni%$ b$room4 #a introduction 7by lett]7 to sub-editor ( daily pap]4 #a furni%$ b$room #a introduction 7p]sonal7 to ) use ( ba?4 sub-editor4 #a introduction & int]view #a b$-sitt+-room4 7five m9utes gu>ante$7 ) editor4 #b furni%$ rooms4 #a lun* 7cold7 ) ,dr4 ,rob]tson ,nicoll4 #b furni%$ rooms1 ) #a lun* 7hot7 ) ,dr4 ,nicoll use ( ba?4 & ,claudius ,cle>4 #a furni%$ flat1 ) #a bridge night ) ,"l all mod]n conv5i5ces1 ,nor?cliffe1 ,sir ,george electric light1 ,newnes1 & ,mr4 ,c4 ,a4 trams to ! corn]1 c4 ,pe>son4 99 99 99 99 99 ,:5 is an au?or mo/ likely to be sick ( 8 own writ+8 ,:5 he's regul>ly 9 ! sw+4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,dr9k ,,to ,,me ,,only ,,) ,,?9e ,,eyes ,,songs ,,& ,,_! ,,s+]s 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,little ,griggs 7to c>icaturi/74 ,by ,jove1 old fell]1 ,i wi% y'd be5 ) me ?is morn+2 y'd h se5 su* a funny look+ *ap6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 7,model wi%+ to say some?+ pleasant47 ,y mu/ h pa9t$ uncommonly well :5 y 7 "y6 99 99 99 99 99 ,,d9n] ,,& ,,dress4--,full dress is n incompatible ) l[ dress4 ,at d9n] x is n g5]ally ! roa/ or ! boil$ t are n dress$ en\gh4 ,if "y m5 are raw1 t does n mu* signify b x is n nice to see girls und]done4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,*eap ,,ba?4--,a f>?+ dip4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,light ,,dues4--,photograph]s' *>ges4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,lett]$ ,,ease4--,! catalogue ( ! ,briti% ,museum4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,pr(essional ,,view ,,( ,,?+s4--,trecalfe1 our booksell]1 :o has rec5tly got m>ri$1 says ( 8 wife1 t he feels t h] life is b\nd up 9 84 99 99 99 99 99 ,,tav]n ,,w9e ,,measure #b sips make #a glass4 #b glasses make #a p9t4 #b p9ts makes #a qu>t bottle4 #a bottle makes "o ill4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,bo>d+-,,out ,,sy/em4--,d9+ at ! club4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,mrs4 ,ma%em4 ,bull-bull & ,i h be5 sitt+ = our photographs z ',beauty & ! ,bea/'6 ,"l ,loreus 7a bit ( a fanci]74 ,yes2 he c]ta9ly is a beauty1 isn't he8 99 99 99 99 99 ,,%ort ,,rules ,,= ,,calculation4--,to ,f9d ! ,value ( a ,doz5 ,articles4--,s5d !m to a magaz9e1 & d\ble ! sum (f]$ by ! proprietor4 ,ano!r ,way4--,s5d !m to ! butt]man1 :o w n only fix _! value1 b _! weight1 at p] p\nd4 ,to ,f9d ! ,value ( a ,p\nd at any price4--,try to borr[ "o1 :5 y are desp]ately h>d up4 99 99 99 99 99 ,memb] ( ! ,lyceum ,club4 ,h y read ,tol/oi's ,resurrection8 ,memb] ( ! ,cavalry ,club4 ,no4 ,is t ! "n ( ,m>ie ,corelli's new book8 99 99 99 99 99 ,,convivial ,,toa/ 7,= a ,temp]ance ,fete7 ,,fill high3 ,dr9k ,l'eau4 99 99 99 99 99 ,fir/ ,revell] 7on ! foll[+ morn+74 ,i say1 is x true y 7 ! only sob] man la/ night8 ,second ,revell]4 ,( c\rse n6 ,fir/ ,revell]4 ,:o 01 !n8 99 99 99 99 99 ,,an ,,ugly ,,b>ga94--,a *eap bull-dog4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,! ,,dumas ,,craze ,br[n 7:o1 ) 8 fri5ds ,jones & ,rob9son1 is 9 t[n = a week & is go+ x74 ,n[1 ,mr4 ,co/umi]1 we are go+ to ?is 'ere ball1 & we want y to make u hup z ! ,?ree ,muskete]s6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,a ,,*e]ful ,,prospect4--,jones4 ,i say1 ,miss ,golightly1 x's awfully good ( y to accompany me1 y "k4 ,if ,i've tri$ ?is song once1 ,i've tri$ x a doz5 times--& ,i've always brok5 d[n 9 ! ?ird v]se6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,beyond ,,praise4--,roscius4 ,b y hav5't got a ^w ( praise = anyone4 ,i %\ld l to "k :o y w\ld consid] a f9i%$ arti/8 ,criticus4 ,a dead "o1 my boy--a dead "o6 99 99 99 99 99 ,,/ale ,,news ,,fre%ly ,,told4--,a physician _c obta9 recov]y ( 8 fees1 al?\gh he may cause ! recov]y ( 8 pati5t4 ,dress may be seiz$ = r5t1 & a coat )\t cuffs may be coll>$ by ! brok]4 ,a m>ri$ woman c acquire no?+1 ! prop] tie ( m>riage mak+ all %e has ! prop]-ty ( h] husb&4 ,y may pur*ase any /amp at ! /amp-(fice1 except ! /amp ( a g5tleman4 ,pawnbrok]s take su* enorm\s int]e/ 9 _! little pl$ges1 t if !y 7 really pl$ges ( affection1 ! int]e/ tak5 c\ld h>dly be exce$$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,au?ors ,,( ,,our ,,own ,,pleasures4--,next to ! pleasure ( hav+ done a good action1 !re is no?+ s sweet z ! pleasure ( hav+ writt5 a good article6 99 99 99 99 99 ,,*ange ,,= ,,! ,,bett]4--,:5 ! organ nuisance %all h be5 swept away f our /reets1 t fe>ful in/rum5t ( e>-pi]c+ torture call$ ! hurdy-gurdy w !n 7?ank ,p>liam5t67 be kn[n z ! un-he>dy-gurdy4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,my ,,"m ,,bids ,,me ,,b9d ,,my ,,hair ,,songs ,,& ,,_! ,,s+]s 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,few ,,gold5 ,,rules ,,transmut$ ,,into ,,brass ,,! ,,gold5 ,,rule4 #a4 ,nev] put (f till to-morr[ :at y c d to-day4 #b4 ,nev] tr\ble ano!r = a trifle :i* y c d y\rself4 #c4 ,nev] sp5d y\r money be=e y h x1 if y w\ld make ! mo/ ( y\r means4 #d4 ,no?+ is tr\blesome t we d will+ly4 ,,! ,,braz5 ,,rule4 #a4 ,put (f till to-morr[ ! dun :o won't be done to-day4 #b4 ,:5 ano!r w\ld tr\ble y = a trifle1 nev] tr\ble y\rself4 #c4 ,sp5d y\r money be=e y h x2 & :5 y h x1 sp5d x aga91 = by s do+ y enjoy y\r means twice1 in/ead ( only once4 #d4 ,y h only to d a cr$itor will+ly1 & he w nev] be tr\blesome4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,lit]>y ,,pursuit4--,*as+ a newspap] 9 a high w9d4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,! ,,true ,,te/4-- ,fir/ ,screev] 7/opp+ be=e a pa/el 9 a picture deal]'s w9d[74 ,ullo ',erb]t1 look 'ere6 ,*alks6 ,second ,screev]4 ,ah1 v tricky1 ,i dessay4 ,b y set t *ap on ! pivem5t alongside o' y an' me1 to dror 'arf a salmon an' a nempty 'at1 an' :]e 'ud 'e be8 ,fir/ ,screev]4 ,ah6 ,exeunt ambo4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,musical ,,news 7,,noose74--,we p]ceive f a =eign pap] t a crim9al :o has be5 imprison$ = a consid]able p]iod at ,presburg has acquir$ a complete ma/]y ov] ! viol94 ,x has be5 ann\nc$ t he w %ortly make an appe>ance 9 public4 ,d\btless1 8 p]=mance w be a solo on "o /r+4 99 99 99 99 99 ,sport+ ,prophet 7play+ billi>ds74 ,m>k]1 "h's ! tip (f ?is cue z usual4 ,m>k]4 ,yes1 sir4 ,bett] give u "o ( y\r tips1 sir1 z !y nev] come (f4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,art ,,dogma4--,an arti/'s wife nev] admires h] husb&'s "w s mu* z :5 he is draw+ h] a *eque4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,unit$ ,,ef=t ,,( ,,six ,,royal ,,academicians4--,:at col\r is x t conta9s sev]al8 ,an umb] 7a numb]74 99 99 99 99 99 ,,mem4 ,,at ,,burl+ton ,,h\se4--,a picture may be capitally execut$ )\t ( necessity be+ well hung4 ,& vice v]sa4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,s*ism ,,to ,,be ,,approv$ ,,(4--,a witticism4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,excelsior6-- ,%e4 ,i didn't "k y 7 a musician1 ,h]r ,muell]4 ,he4 ,a musician8 ,a*1 no--,gott vorpit6 ,i am a ,wagn]ian6 99 99 99 99 99 ,,an ,,au?or',s ,,cry ,,( ,,agony 7,wrung f him by ! repeat$ calls ( ! pr9t]'s boy7 ,oh6 t devils' visits 71 l angels'1 'few & f> betwe56' 99 99 99 99 99 ,,riddles ,,by ,a ,,wret*4--,q4 ,:at is ! diff]5ce betwe5 a surgeon & a wiz>d8 ,a4 ,! "o is a cupp] & ! o!r is a sorc]]4 ,q4 ,:y is ,am]ica l ! act ( reflection8 ,a4 ,because x is a roomy-nation4 ,q4 ,:y is y\r pretty c\s9 l an alaba/] vase8 ,a4 ,because %e is an objet de looks4 ,q4 ,h[ is x t a man born 9 ,truro c nev] be an ,iri%man8 ,a4 ,because he always is a true-,roman4 ,q4 ,:y is my game cock l a bi%op8 ,a4 ,because he has 8 cr[s "h 7crozi]74 99 99 99 99 99 ,,c\plet ,,by ,a ,,cynic 7,aft] read+ c]ta9 ,press ,comm5ts on ! ,picture ,%[7 ,phili/9e art may /& all critic %ocks ,:il/ x gives private views--( pretty frocks6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,retaliation4-- ,comic ,man 7to unappreciat$ t5or1 ^: song has j be5 receiv$ 9 /ony sil5ce74 ,i say1 y're n go+ to s+ an encore1 are y8 ,unappreciat$ ,t5or 7firmly74 ,yes1 ,i am4 ,s]ve !m "r6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,an ,,inducem5t4-- ,sw$i% ,ex]cise ,in/ructress4 ,n[1 ladies1 if y w only foll[ my directions c>efully1 x is q possible t y may become ev5 z ,i am6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,m ,,sw$i% ,,in/ruction4-- ,in/ructress 7to exhau/$ class1 :o h be5 hopp+ r\nd room = "s "t74 ,come6 ,come6 ,t won't d at all4 ,y mu/ look *e]ful4 ,keep smil+--smil+ all ! "t6 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,bat* ,,( ,,pro(s ,! pro( ( a pudd+ is 9 ! eat+3 ,! pro( ( a woman is 9 mak+ a pudd+2 ,& ! pro( ( a man is 9 be+ able to d9e )\t "o4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,reflection ,,on ,,lit]ature4--,x is a well-au!nticat$ fact1 t ! "n ( a book has a great deal to d ) its sale & its success4 ,h[ /range t titles %\ld g = s mu* 9 ! republic ( lett]s4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,motto ,,= ,,! ,,reject$ ,,at ,,! ,,royal ,,academy 7sugge/$ by "o ( ! ,=ty74--,hang+'s too good = !m6 99 99 99 99 99 ,,sugge/ion ,,= ,a ,,music-,,hall ,,song 7to suit any ,lionne ,comique74--,w9k at me only ) "o eye1 c41 c4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,ample ,,gr\nds ,,= ,,compla9t4--,f9d+ ! gr\nds ( y\r c(fee to consi/ ( no?+ b *icory4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,smil+ ,,c\nt5ance is ,! happy mi54 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,publi%] 7impati5tly74 ,well1 sir1 :at is x8 ,poet 7timidly74 ,o--er--are y ,mr4 ,jobson8 ,publi%] 7irritably74 ,yes4 ,poet 7m timidly74 ,mr4 ,george ,jobson8 ,publi%] 7excitably74 ,yes1 sir1 t's my "n4 ,poet 7m timidly /ill74 ,( ! firm ( ,messrs4 ,jobson & ,doodle8 ,publi%] 7angrily74 ,yes4 ,:at d y want8 ,poet ,oh--,i want to see ,mr4 ,doodle6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,our ,,or*e/ral ,,society4--,! ,rector4 ,oh1 piano1 ,mr4 ,br[n6 ,pi-an-o6 ,mr4 ,br[n4 ,piano be bl[$6 ,i've come "h to enjoy myself6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,cu/om]4--,h y ',h[ to be happy ?\gh m>ri$'8 ,booksell]4 ,no1 sir4 ,we h run out at pres5t ( ! "w y m5tion2 b we are sell+ ?is little book by ! hundr$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,lett] ,,to ,a ,,"y ,,publi%] ,s9ce1 my de> ,jones1 y are good en\gh to ask = my advice1 ne$ ,i say t y\r success 9 bus9ess w dep5d *iefly ^u judici\s adv]tisem5t8 ,y are br++ out1 ,i und]/&1 a ?rill+ /ory ( dome/ic life1 entitl$ ,m>ia's ,m>riage4 ,already1 ,i am glad to le>n1 y h caus$ a p>agraph to appe> 9 ! lit]>y j\rnals contradict+ ! widespread report t ,mr4 ,kipl+ & ! ,g]man ,emp]or h collaborat$ 9 ! production ( ?is novel1 ! appe>ance ( :i* is await$ ) su* extraord9>y int]e/4 ,& y h induc$ a numb] ( pap]s to give prom95ce to ! fact t ,mr4 ,p5wip] d9es daily (f curry & clott$ cream4 ,s f>1 s good4 ,y\r next /ep w be to s5d out review-copies1 toge!r ) ready-made laudatory criticisms2 9 ord]1 z y w expla91 to save ! h>d work$ review]s tr\ble4 ,b1 y w say1 suppos+ ?is +5i\s device to fail8 ,suppos+ ,m>ia's ,m>riage to be univ]sally slat$8 ,well1 ev5 !n y ne$ n despair4 ,) a little practice1 y w le>n ! art ( manufactur+ an attractive adv]tisem5t column f ! mo/ unpromis+ mat]ial4 ,let me give y a brief example ( ! me?od3-- ,i4--,,! ,,raw ,,mat]ial4 ,mr4 ,p5wip]'s late/ production1 ',m>ia's ,m>riage1' sc>cely calls = s]i\s notice4 ,x seems h>d to believe t ev5 ! mo/ tol]ant read] w contrive to /udy ) att5tion a "w ( :i* e page conta9s gl>+ errors ( ta/e4 ,hum\r1 sm>tness1 & int]e/ are all conspicu\sly want+4--,! ,?und]]4 ,?is book is und5iably ?ird-rate--dull1 badly-writt51 incoh]5t2 9 f9e1 a dismal failure4--,! ,wigwam4 ,if ',m>ia's ,m>riage' has any real m]it1 x is z an object-lesson to aspir+ au?ors4 ,"h1 we w\ld say to !m1 is a /rik+ example ( ! way 9 :i* romance %\ld n be writt54 ,set y\rself to produce a "w exactly its opposite 9 e p>ticul>1 & ! *ances are t y w produce1 if n a ma/]piece1 at lea/1 a tale free f ! mo/ gl>+ faults4 ,= ! t]rible w>n+ ?us af=d$ by 8 volume to budd+ writ]s1 ,mr4 ,p5wip] des]ves to be he>tily ?ank$4--,daily ,telephone4 ',m>ia's ,m>riage' is ano!r book t we h receiv$ 9 ! c\rse ( ! mon?4--,! ,p>a*ute4 ,,ii4--,,! ,,result4 ,m>ia's ,m>riage6 ,m>ia's ,m>riage6 ,gigantic ,success--,! ,talk ( ,london4 ,! #bi? edition w be issu$ ?is week if ! sale ( tw5ty-eight previ\s ones makes ?is necess>y4 ,ea* edition is /rictly limit$6 ,m>ia's ,m>riage6 ,! voice ( ! ,press is simply unanim\s4 ,read ! foll[+ extracts--tak5 almo/ at r&om f ! reviews ( lead+ pap]s4 ,mr4 ,p5wip]'s late/ production 444 calls = s]i\s notice 444 ! read] w 444 /udy ) att5tion a "w ( :i* e page conta9s ta/e1 hum\r1 sm>tness & int]e/6--,! ,?und]]4 ,und5iably 444 f9e6--,! ,wigwam4 ,has 444 real m]it 444 an object lesson 444 a /rik+ example ( ! way 9 :i* romance 444 %\ld be writt54 ,a ma/]piece 444 free f faults4 ,mr4 ,p5wip] des]ves to be he>tily ?ank$4--,daily ,telephone4 ,! book 444 ( ! mon?6--,! ,p>a*ute1 c41 c4 ,m>ia's ,m>riage6 ,a v]itable triumph6 ,ord] x f y\r booksell] to-day6 ,t1 my de> ,jones1 is h[ ! trick is done4 ,i hope to give y "s fur!r h9ts on a future occasion4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,pray1 ,,aft] ,,y1 z ! glass ( wat] said to ! pill4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,truism ,,= ,,teetotal]s4--,:5 a man is out ( spirits--he %\ld take w9e4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,ne$less ,,"q4--,d y want a loan8 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,briti% ,,public4--,! be]-%op4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,morn+ ,,envelopes4--,dress+ g[ns4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,op]ator 7desp]ately1 aft] half an h\r's fruitless endeav\r to make a successful picture f unpromis+ sitt]74 ,suppose1 madam1 we try a pose ) j ! lea/ sugge/ion (--er--sauc9ess8 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,gu%+ ,,hospitality4 7,"t #c p4m474--,hospitable ,ho/4 ,h c'g>1 old f'lla8 ,languid ,visitor4 ,no--?anks4 ,h4 ,h4 ,cig>ette !n8 ,8 ,visitor4 ,no--?anks4 ,nev> smoke 'mejately aft] breakfa/4 ,h4 ,h4 ,c't refuse a too?pick1 !n1 old f'lla8 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,proportions4--,buy]4 ,9 future1 z my collection increases1 & my wall-space is limit$1 & price no object1 p]haps y w\ld let me h a little m 'picture1' & a little less 'm\nt'6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,+5u\s6--,jones 7to 8 fair p>tn]1 aft] _! oppon5ts h decl>$ clubs74 ,%all ,i play to 'clubs'1 p>tn]8 ,fair ,p>tn] 7:o has nev] play$ bridge be=e74 ,oh1 no1 please don't1 ,mr4 ,jones4 ,i've only got two little ones4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,%e4 ,& are all ^! lovely ?+s ab\t :i* y write imag9>y8 ,! ,poet4 ,oh1 no1 ,miss ,e!l4 ,i h only to op5 my eyes & ,i see some?+ beautiful be=e me4 ,%e4 ,oh1 h[ ,i wi% ,i c\ld say ! same6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,at ,,! ,r4,a4--,fir/ ,pa9t]4 ,i've j be5 %[+ my aunt r\nd4 ,mo/ amus+4 ,inv>iably picks out ! wrong pictures to admire & d5\nces ! good ones6 ,second ,pa9t]4 ,did %e say any?+ ab\t m9e8 ,fir/ ,pa9t]4 ,oh1 %e lik$ y\rs6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,i say1 old man1 ,i've inv5t$ a new dr9k4 ,big success6 ,come & try x4 ,:at's x made (8 ,well1 x's some?+ l ! ord9>y :isky & soda1 b y put m :isky 9 x6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,a ,,prophet ,,9 ,,8 ,,own ,,c\ntry ,sylvia4 ,i wond] :e!r he'll be a soldi] or a sailor8 ,mamma4 ,w\ldn't y l him to be an arti/1 l papa8 ,sylvia4 ,oh1 "o 9 ! family's q en\gh6 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,bitt] ,,end4--,! la/ half in* ( a halfp5ny cig>4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,wor/ ,,possible ,,"n ,,= ,,an ,,au?or4--,dr4 ,dozy4 99 99 99 99 99 ,:y oughtn't a boot & %oemak] to be tru/$8 ,because he's a slipp]y cu/om]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,race ,,= ,,weal?4--,jews4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,basso ,,pr(ondo4--,a deep draught ( bitt] be]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,ex]cise ,,= ,,city ,,cl]ks4--,a run on a ,bank4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,pass+ ,,! ,,"t4--,go+ by a clock4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,com+ (f ) fly+ col\rs 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,?y ,,face ,,songs ,,& ,,_! ,,s+]s 99 99 99 99 99 ,,lit]>y ,,notes ,a well-kn[n d9]-out has1 we le>n1 collect$ 8 rem9isc5ces1 & w\ld be glad to he> f "s oblig+ g5tleman or g5tlem5 :o w\ld e>ne/ly reque/ him to publi% !m4 ,we %\ld add t no names w\ld be m5tion$1 ! preface m]ely op5+ z foll[s3-- ,al?\gh ^! /ray glean+s ( pa/ ye>s are ( b ephem]al value1 & ?\gh !y 7 collect$ ) no ?\ght ( publication1 ! writ] at ! e>ne/ reque/ ( a fri5d 7or _m fri5ds1 if m ?an "o7 has reluctantly cons5t$ to give 8 scatt]$ rem9isc5ces to ! _w4 99 99 99 99 99 ,! foll[+ volumes 9 ,! ,bit] ,bit s]ies are ann\nc$ z %ortly to appe>3-- ,! ,fight] ,fit2 or practical h9ts on pugili/ic tra9+4 ,! ,light] ,lit3 a treatise on ! illum9ation ( ,?ames b>ges4 ,! ,slight] ,slit3 or a new & economical me?od ( cutt+ out4 ,! ,tight] ,tit3 /udies 9 ! comp>ative inebriation ( birds4 ,illu/ration3 ,"s f9e =m 0 exhibit$ ,illu/ration3 ,a two-figure break ,illu/ration3 ,a heat ( #ejj up ,illu/ration3 ,f9i%+ ! game ) a cannon ,illu/ration3 ,op5+ ) ! cu/om>y miss ,illu/ration3 ,spot b>r$ ,,billi>d ,,notes ,,by ,,dumb-,,crambo 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,s5d+-,,9-,,day ,,at ,,! ,r4 ,a4 ,b x is impossible = y to see ! ,presid5t4 ,:at d y want to see him =8 ,i want to %[ him exactly :]e ,i want my picture hung4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,millionaire4 ,yes2 ,i'm awful p>tial to pict]s4 ,:y1 bless y]1 ,i've got cell>s full ( 'em6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,! ,,exhibition ,infuriat$ ,outsid]4 ,r-r-r-reject$1 sir6----,fwanospace1 sir6 7,) )]+ emphasis47 ',want--(--space--sir66 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,look "h1 ,s*lump5hag51 y mu/ help u at our smok+ conc]t4 ,y play ! flute1 don't y8 ,n v5 d]e i% anypotty ap\t4 ,h['s t8 ,dey von't let me6 99 99 99 99 99 ,,ro*ef\cauldiana ,!re is no sympa?y 9 ,engl& s univ]sally felt1 s l>gely express$1 z = a p]son :o is likely to cat* cold4 99 99 99 99 99 ,:5 a p]son loses 8 reputation1 ! v la/ place :]e he goes to look = x is ! place :]e he has lo/ x4 99 99 99 99 99 ,no gift s fatal z t ( s++4 ,! pr9cipal "q ask$1 ^u insur+ a man's life1 %\ld be1 ,d y s+ a good song8 99 99 99 99 99 ,_m ( u are l$ by our vices1 b a great _m m ( u foll[ !m )\t any lead+ at all4 99 99 99 99 99 ,to %[ h[ deceptive are appe>ances1 m g5tlem5 are mi/ak5 = wait]s1 ?an wait]s = g5tlem54 99 99 99 99 99 ,to a retir$ tradesman !re c be no great] conv5i5ce ?an t ( hav+ a %ort sight4 ,9 tru?1 weal? r>ely improves ! vision4 ,pov]ty1 on ! contr>y1 /r5g!ns x4 ,a man1 :5 he is poor1 is able to discov] objects at ! greate/ di/ance ) ! nak$ eye1 :i* he c\ld n see1 ?\gh /&+ close to 8 elb[1 :5 he 0 ri*4 99 99 99 99 99 ,if y wi% to set a room full ( sil5t p (f talk+1 get "s "o to s+ a song4 99 99 99 99 99 ,! bore is happy en\gh 9 bor+ o!rs1 b is nev] s mis]able z :5 left alone1 :5 !re is no "o b himself to bore4 99 99 99 99 99 ,! contradictions ( ?is life are wond]ful4 ,_m a man1 :o hasn't ! c\rage to say no1 nev] misses tak+ a %[]-ba? e morn+ ( 8 life4 99 99 99 99 99 ,if y wi% to borr[ ,l#e ask = ,l#aj4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,:at ,,br[n ,,said ,,sc5e--,hall ( ! ,elysium ,club ,ent] ,smi?1 ,f4,r4,s41 meet+ ,br[n1 ,q4,c4 ,smi?4 ,raw day1 eh8 ,br[n4 ,v raw4 ,glad :5 x's done4 ,exit ,br[n1 ,q4,c4 ,exit ,smi?1 ,f4,r4,s41 into smok+-room1 :]e he tells a good ?+ t ,br[n said4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,at ,,! ,,academy ,miss ,jones4 ,h[ came y to ?9k ( ! subject1 ,mr4 de ,bru%8 ,ecc5tric ,arti/4 ,oh1 ,i h _h x 9 my head = ye>s6 ,miss ,jones4 ,h[ wond]ful6 ,:at did ! pap]s say8 ,ecc5tric ,arti/4 ,said x 0 full ( 'atmosph]e1' & sugge/$ 'space4' 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,intellig5t6--,arti/ 7:o ?9ks he has f\nd a good model = 8 ,t\*/one74 ,h y any s5se ( hum\r1 ,mr4 ,b+les8 ,model4 ,?ank y' sir1 no1 sir1 ?ank y'4 ,i enj'ys pretty good 'eal?1 sir1 ?ank y' sir6 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,p]ils ,,( ,a ,,conv]sazione ,miss ,fillip 7to g5tleman ^: "n %e did n cat* :5 introduc$74 ,h y read ,a ,mod]n ,heliogabolus8 ,he4 ,yes1 ,i h4 ,miss ,f4 ,all ?r\gh8 ,he4 ,yes1 f beg9n+ to end4 ,miss ,f4 ,de> me6 ,i wond] y're alive6 ,h[ did y manage to get ?r\gh x8 ,he 7diffid5tly74 ,un=tunately1 ,i wrote x4 ,miss ,f4 cat*es a di/ant fri5d's eye4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,s\nd ,,sleep]',s ,,p>adise4--,snor+4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,pat5t ,,night-,,lights4--,/>s4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,epitaph ,,on ,a ,,*ampion ,,billi>d ,,play]4--,tak+ 8 long re/4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,ton$ ,,pap]4--,%eets ( music4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,item ,,on ,a ,,m5u ,,( ,,lit]>y ,,pabulum4--,%akspe>e & ,bacon4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,race ,,glasses4--,*ampagne4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,maid ,,( ,,! ,,mill4--,a lady box]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,s5tim5t4--7,arti/ic-m9d$ ,y\? 9 mid/ ( a fi]ce h>angue f 8 fa!r1 :o is gr[+ hott] & r$d]74 ,by ,jove1 t's a f9e bit ( col\r1 if y l6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,:at an ass old ,br[n is6 ,oh1 ,i don't "k4 ,he's got f> m bra9s ?an appe> on ! surface4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,art-,ma/] 7:o has s5t = a cab1 po9t+ to horse74 ,:at d y call t8 ,cabby4 ,an 'orse1 sir4 ,art-,ma/]4 ,a horse6 ,rub x out1 & d x aga96 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,p>cel ,,( ,,prov]bs1 c4 ,,complet$ ,take "t by ! =elock--to h 8 hair cut4 ,foll[ y\r lead]--9 y\r daily pap]4 ,! pro( ( ! pudd+ is 9 ! eat+--a great deal ( x4 ,nev] look a gift-horse 9 ! m\?--le/ y %\ld f9d false tee?4 ,! h>e ) _m fri5ds--0 eat5 at la/4 ,a /it* 9 "t saves n9e--or m naughty words1 :5 a button comes (f :ile y are dress+ 9 a great hurry = d9n]4 ,"o man's meat is ano!r man's poison--:5 badly cook$4 ,don't c\nt y\r *ick5s be=e !y are hat*$--by ! pat5t incubator4 ,love is bl9d--& unwill+ to submit to an op]ation4 ,fir/ cat* y\r h>e--!n cook x ) ri* gravy4 ,nil ,desp]&um--,,p]cy ,,v]e4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,non-,,committal4-- ,sc5e3 ,fa%ionable ,auction ,rooms4 ,a ,picture ,sale4-- ,amateur ,collector 7aft] tak+ advice ( ,exp]t ,no4 #a1 addresses ,exp]t ,no4 #b74 ,:at d y ?9k ( ! picture8 ,i am advis$ to buy x4 ,is x n a f9e ,titian8 ,exp]t ,no4 #b 7wi%+ to please bo? p>ties74 ,i don't ?9k y c g f> wrong1 = anyh[1 if x isn't a ,titian x's a repe-tition4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,ano!r ,,p>cel ,,( ,,prov]bs ,if ! cap fits1 we> x--out4 ,six ( "o1 & half-a-doz5 ( ! o!r--make exactly twelve4 ,none s deaf z ^? :o won't he>--he>6 he>6 ,fa9t he>t nev] won fair lady--nor d>k "o ei!r4 ,civility co/s no?+--nay1 is some?+ to y\r cr$it4 ,! be/ ( fri5ds mu/ "p--_! hair4 ,any port 9 a /orm--b old port pref]r$4 ,"o good turn des]ves ano!r--9 waltz+4 ,y\? at ! pr[ & pleasure at ! helm--v sea-sick4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,lead+ ,,/r+s4--,^? ( a fir/ viol9 9 an or*e/ra4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,tobacco ,,/opp]s4--,m5 :o /ay to smoke4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,smok]',s ,,prov]b4--,x's an ill we$ t bl[s nobody any good4 ,a ,,tidy ,,dr9k4--,neat br&y4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,amateur ,m9imus ,poet 7:o has call$ at ! (fice twice a week = ?ree mon?s74 ,c\ld y use a little poem ( m9e8 ,editor 7ru?lessly det]m9$ t ?is %all be 8 f9al visit74 ,oh1 ,i ?9k s4 ,!re are two or ?ree brok5 panes ( glass1 & a hole 9 ! skylight4 ,h[ l>ge is x8 99 99 99 99 99 ,,motto ,,= ,a ,,sub-,,editor4--,aut scissors1 aut nullus4 99 99 99 99 99 ,to f9d ! value ( a ,cook4--,divide ! s]vices r5d]$ by ! wages paid2 d$uct ! kit*5 /uff1 subtract ! cold meat by f9d+ h[ (t5 ?ree policem5 w g into "o area1 & ! quoti5t w help y to ! result4 ,to f9d ! value ( a ,fri5d4--,ask him to put 8 "n to a bill4 ,to f9d ! value ( ,"t4--,travel by a ,bayswat] omnibus4 ,to f9d ! value ( ,eau de ,cologne4--,walk into ,smi?field m>ket4 ,to f9d ! value ( ,pati5ce4--,consult ,brad%aw's ,guide to asc]ta9 ! "t ( />t+ ( a railway tra94 99 99 99 99 99 ,,note ,,by ,a ,,social ,,cynic4--,!y may aboli% ! pu% /roke at billi>ds1 b !y'll nev] d s 9 society4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,f ,,our ,,own ,,irrepressible ,,"o 7/ill dodg+ cu/ody74--,q4 ,:y is a daily pap] l a lamb8 ,a4 ,because x is always fold$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,duty ,,be=e ,,pleasure4--,ho/ess 7to new ,curate74 ,we seem to be talk+ ( no?+ b horses1 ,mr4 ,soo!rn4 ,are y mu* ( a sportsman8 ,curate4 ,really1 ,lady ,betty1 ,i don't ?9k ,i ought to say t ,i am4 ,i us$ to collect butt]flies2 b ,i h to give up ev5 t n[6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,%akspe>e ,,illu/rat$ ,! gods conf\nd !e6 ,do/ ?\ hold !re /ill8 ,antony & ,cleopatra1 ,act ,,ii41 ,sc4 #e4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,/ill ,,wat]s4--,:iskies4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,art ,,criticism4--,9 too _m pictures ! col\r is m$i-ocre4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,adv]tis]',s ,,p>adise4--,puff9 ,isl&4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,musical ,,burgl>4--,"o :o breaks into a tune4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,he ,,knew ,,8 ,,"w ,proprietor ( ,travell+ ,m5ag]ie4 ,are y us$ to look+ aft] horses & o!r animals8 ,applicant = ,job4 ,yessir4 ,be5 us$ to 'orses all my life4 ,p4 ,o4 ,t4 ,m4 ,:at /eps w\ld y take if a lion got loose8 ,a4 ,f4 ,j4 ,good long 'uns1 mi/]6 99 99 99 99 99 ,,may ,,be ,,he>d ,,ev]y:]e4--,songs )\t words--a rem>kable p]=mance2 b p]haps a /ill m wond]ful feat is play+ ^u words4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,sub/itutes ,,= ,,pr(ane ,,swe>+ 7,adapt$ to v>i\s ,sorts & ,conditions ( ,m57 ,lawy]4 ,tax my bill4 ,doctor4 ,da% my draughts4 ,soldi]4 ,snap my /ock4 ,p>son4 ,/>* my surplice4 ,bricklay]4 ,i'll be pla/]$4 ,bricklay]'s ,lab\r]4 ,*op my hod4 ,c>p5t]4 ,saw me4 ,plumb] & ,glazi]4 ,sold] my pipes4 ,sma% my panes4 ,pa9t]4 ,i'm daub$4 ,brew]4 ,i'm ma%$4 ,eng9e]4 ,bur/ my boil]4 ,/ok]4 ,s\se my coke4 ,co/]mong]4 ,rot my taturs4 ,dramatic ,au?or4 ,/eal my ,fr5* ,diction>y4 ,actor4 ,i'll be hiss$4 ,tailor4 ,cut me out4 ,cook my goose4 ,l95drap]4 ,soil my silks4 ,sell me (f4 ,groc]4 ,squa% my figs4 ,s& my sug>4 ,seize my scales4 ,bak]4 ,knead my d\gh4 ,scor* my muff9s4 ,auctione]4 ,knock me d[n4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,play]s ,,are ,,come6--,fir/ ,play] 7:o has _h a run ( ill-luck74 ,i'm regul>ly haunt$ by ! recollection ( my losses at bacc>at4 ,second ,play]4 ,q ,%akespe>ian6 ,banco's gho/4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,some?+ ,,to ,,live ,,=4--7,f ! ,lit]>y ,club ,smok+-room47 ,cynicus4 ,i'm wait+ till my fri5ds are dead1 9 ord] to write my rem9isc5ces8 ,amicus4 ,ah1 b rememb]4 ,de mortuis nil nisi bonum4 ,cynicus4 ,q s4 ,i %all tell no?+ b exce$+ly good /ories ab\t !m4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,contradiction4--,9 picture exhibitions1 ! obs]vant spectator is /ruck by ! fact t works hung on ! l9e are too (t5 bel[ ! m>k4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,light ,,repa/4--,a fea/ ( lant]ns4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,r4 ,a4 ,,gems4--,fair ,amateur 7to c>p5t]74 ,my picture is q hidd5 ) t horrid ticket on x4 ,c't y fix x on ! frame8 ,c>p5t]4 ,:y1 y'll spoil ! frame1 mum6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,jones4 ,d y dr9k betwe5 meals8 ,smi?4 ,no4 ,i eat betwe5 dr9ks4 ,jones4 ,:i* did y d la/8 ,smi?4 ,dr9k4 ,jones4 ,!n we'd bett] g & h a s&wi* at once6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,nocturne ,,9 ,,! ,,old ,,k5t ,,road 99 99 99 99 99 ,,l>ge/ ,,circulation ,,9 ,,! ,,_w4--,! elephant's4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,wor/ ,,place ,,9 ,,?ir/y ,,wea!r4--,tapl[4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,inscription ,,= ,,an ,,old ,,clo!s ,,%op4--,no?+ new4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,j ,a ,,song ,,at ,,twilight 7,z sung sweetly by a ,public-,h\se-,b>itone7 99 99 99 99 99 ,,lit]>y ,,ann\ncem5t4--,9 ! press--ye/]day's tableclo?4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,height ,,( ,,economy4--,a screw ( tobacco4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,a ,,brok5 ,,melody ,,sc5e ,i4--,/reet ,s+]4 ,i fe> no foe 9 %9+ ar----4 ,illu/ration3 ,a ,,brok5 ,,melody ,,sc5e ,,ii4--,ent] policeman4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,quick ,,grub ,,/reet ,,co4 ,,! ,,quick ,,grub ,,/reet ,,co4 ,,beg ,,to ,,ann\nce ,,t ,,!y ,,h ,,op5$ ,,an ,,e/abli%m5t ,,= ,,! ,,supply ,,( ,,lit]ature ,,9 ,,all ,,its ,,bran*es4 ,e ,editor %\ld s5d = our ,prices & comp>e !m ) ^? ( o!r h\ses4 ,,poetry ,,dep>tm5t4 ,we employ exp]i5c$ poets = ! supply ( g>d5 v]ses1 w> songs1 c41 & und]take to fill any ord] )9 tw5ty-f\r h\rs ( its rea*+ u4 ,our ,mr4 ,rhymeesi w be glad to wait ^u p>ties requir+ v]se ( any description1 &1 if ! matt] is at all urg5t1 to execute ! ord] on ! spot4 ,,drama ,,dep>tm5t4 ,actor-manag]s be=e go+ else:]e %\ld give u a call4 ,our plays draw :]ev] !y are pres5t$1 ev5 if x is only bricks4 ,te/imonial4--,a manag] writes3 ,! play y k9dly suppli$1 ,! ,blue ,bloodh\nd ( ,blet*ley1 is univ]sally admitt$ to be unlike any?+ ev] be=e produc$ on ! /age4 ,musical com$ies 7gu>ante$ absolutely free f plot7 suppli$ on %orte/ notice4 ,,fiction ,,dep>tm5t4 ,= society dialogues we use ! v be/ du*esses2 :ile a fir/-class e>l's daught] is reta9$ = ,c\rt & gala op]a4 ,= our new l9e ( vie intime we employ none b valets & confid5tial maids1 :o h to s]ve an appr5tice%ip ) ,p4,a4,p4 ,,! ,,kaily>d ,,dep>tm5t is always up-to-date1 & our ,mr4 ,/ickit w be pleas$ to call on any editor on receipt ( po/-c>d4 ,n4,b4--,we gu>antee our ,scot* ,idyll to be absolutely un9telligible to any ,engli% read]1 & und]take to refund money if x c be prov$ t su* is n ! case4 ,our speciality1 h[ev]1 is our ,six-,%ill+ ,%ock]1 z sold = s]ial purposes4 ,editors ) pap]s t won't g %\ld ask = "o ( ^!4 ,:5 ord]+ please /ate g5]al idea requir$ "u "o ( our recognis$ sections1 z =eign (fice1 police1 m\nt$ infantry1 c[>dice1 ,rome1 c41 c4 ,,biography4 ,any g5tleman wi%+ to h a biography ( himself produc$ 9 anticipation ( 8 decease %\ld communicate ) u4 ,! "w w\ld1 ( c\rse1 be publi%$ ) a note to ! effect t ! writ+ _h be5 a lab\r ( love2 t moreov] ! subject ) 8 usual mode/y _h be5 av]se f ! idea ( a biography4 ,te/imonial4--,sir ,sunny ,jameson writes3 ,! ,life gives great satisfaction4 ,no ref]5ce made1 h[ev]1 to my munific5t gift ( ,l#ej to ! ,ref]ees' ,hospital4 ,?is %\ld be rem$i$ 9 ! next edition4 ,! "w1 h[ev]1 has be5 excell5tly done4 ,y h made me out to be bett] ?an ev5 ,i ev] ?\ght myself4 ,= love lett]s1 ,= ! ,elizabe?an vogue1 ,= e description ( g>d5 m$itations1 ,give ! ,quick ,grub ,/reet ,company a trial4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,a ,,s(t ,,answ]4--,papa 7lit]>y1 :o has giv5 ord]s he is n to be di/urb$74 ,:o is x8 ,little ,daught]4 ,sc>cely anybody1 de> papa6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,! ,,secrets ,,( ,,lit]>y ,,composition ,! ,fair ,au?oress ( ,passionate ,paul9e1 gaz+ fondly at h] own reflection1 writes z foll[s3-- ,i look into ! glass1 read]4 ,:at d ,i see8 ,i see a pair ( laugh+1 espiegle1 =get-me-n blue eyes1 saucy & defiant2 a mut9e little rose-bud ( a m\?1 ) its ev]-mock+ m\e2 a t9y %ell-l e>1 try+ to play hide-&-seek 9 a tangl$ maze ( rebelli\s russet gold2 :ile1 f und]nea? ! sat9 folds ( a rose-! dress+-g[n1 a da9ty foot peeps coyly =? 9 its exquisitely-po9t$ gold morocco slipp]1 c41 c4 7,vide ,passionate ,paul9e1 by ,p>bleu47 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,a ,,di/9ction ,fir/ ,g\rmet4 ,t 0 ,mr4 ,dobbs ,i j nodd$ to4 ,second ,g\rmet4 ,i "k4 ,fir/ ,g4 ,he ask$ me to d9e at 8 h\se next ,?ursday--b ,i c't4 ,ev] d9$ at ,dobbs's8 ,second ,g4 ,no4 ,nev] d9$4 ,b ,i've be5 !re to d9n]6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,auctione]4 ,lot #eb4 ,a g5u9e ,turn]4 ,pa9t$ dur+ ! arti/'s lifetime4 ,:at (f]s1 g5tlem58 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,millionaire 7:o has be5 %[n into fa%ionable arti/'s /udio1 & has be5 kept wait+ a few m9utes74 ,,%op6 99 99 99 99 99 ,,nons5se ,,prov]bs ,,:at',s 9 ! pot mu/n't be told to ! pan4 ,!re's a m\? = e muff94 ,a cle> s\p & no flav\r4 ,z drunk z a daisy4 ,all r9d & no *eese4 ,set a begg> on horseback1 & he w *eat ! liv]y-/able keep]4 ,!re's a ,b 9 e bonnet4 ,two-&-six ( "o & half-a-cr[n ( ! o!r4 ,! insurance (fic] dreads a fire4 ,fir/ cat* y\r heir1 !n hook him4 ,e plum has its pudd+4 ,%ort pipes make long smokes4 ,x's a long lane t has no blackb]ries4 ,w9d & wea!r come toge!r4 ,a fl[] 9 ! button-hole is wor? two on ! bu%4 ,r\nd rob9 is a %y bird4 ,!re's a %9y l9+ to e hat4 ,! longe/ d9n] w come to an end4 ,y mu/ take ! pips ) ! orange4 ,x's a wise d5ti/ t kn[s 8 own tee?4 ,no rose )\t a g>d5]4 ,bett] to m>ry 9 ,may ?an n to m>ry at all4 ,save sov]eigns1 sp5d gu9eas4 ,too _m foll[]s spoil ! cook4 7,n4,b4 ,?is is n nons5se47 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,pr(usely decorat$ ) cuts 99 99 99 99 99 ,,said ,,at ,,! ,,academy4--,pun* doesn't c>e :o said x4 ,x 0 extremely rude to call ! commission on capital puni%m5ts ! hang+ committee4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,gramm> ,,( ,,art4--,art1 spell x ) a big or little a1 c nev] come fir/ 9 any well-educat$ p]son's ideas4 ,i am mu/ h ! place ( hon\r2 !n ,?\ ,art6 s apo/rophis$1 comes next4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,scrumble4 ,be5 to see ! old ma/]s8 ,/ippleton 7:o has m>ri$ money74 ,no4 ,fact is--7sotto voce7--,i've got q en\gh on my h&s ) ! old missus6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,two ,,old ,,ma/]s ,,( ,,arts 99 99 99 99 99 ,,arti/',s ,,vade ,,mecum ,"q4 ,has ! anxi\s p>5t be5 to see 8 *ild's portrait8 ,answ]4 ,he has se5 x4 ,q4 ,did he approve ( x8 ,a4 ,he w l x bett] :5 ,i h made "s slight alt]ations4 ,q4 ,:at are !y8 ,a4 ,he w\ld l ! attitude ( ! figure alt]$1 ! position ( ! arms *ang$1 ! face turn$ ! o!r way1 ! hair & eyes made a diff]5t col\r1 & ! expression ( ! m\? improv$4 ,q4 ,did he make any o!r sugge/ions8 ,a4 ,yes2 he wi%es to h ! *ild's fav\rite pony & ,newf\ndl& dog put 91 ) an indication ( ! ance/ral home 9 ! back-gr\nd4 ,q4 ,is he will+ to pay any?+ extra = ^! additions8 ,a4 ,he does n consid] x necess>y4 ,q4 ,are y well on ) y\r ,academy picture8 ,a4 ,no2 b ,i began ! *>coal sket* ye/]day4 ,q4 ,h y secur$ ! h&some model8 ,a4 ,no2 ! h&some model has be5 p]man5tly engag$ by ! em95t ,r4,a4 ,q4 ,"u ^! circum/ances1 d y /ill expect to get f9i%$ 9 "t8 ,a4 ,yes2 ,i h be5 at ?is /age 9 ,febru>y = z _m ye>s z ,i c rememb]1 & h g5]ally manag$ to worry ?r\gh someh[4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,:5ev] ! ,r$uc$ ,prizefight]s take a b5efit at a !atre1 ! play %\ld be ,! ,mill] & 8 ,m54 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,nice ,,man4--,mr4 ,swigg9s 0 a sot4 ,he 0 also a slov54 ,he nev] _h any?+ neat ab\t him b g94 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,"u a great ma/] 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,! ,,w>rior ,,bold ,,songs ,,& ,,_! ,,s+]s 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,! ,,gay ,,tom ,,tit ,,songs ,,& ,,_! ,,s+]s 99 99 99 99 99 ,,hung1 ,,drawn1 ,,& ,,qu>t]$4--7,mr4 ,pun*'s s5t5ce on ?ree-f\r?s ( ! ,academicians' "w on ! l9e47--,v well hung2 v ill drawn2 a great deal bett] qu>t]$ ?an x des]ves4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,_s ,,( ,,! ,,age4--,g94 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,:5 ,a ,,man ,,does ,,n ,,look ,,8 ,,be/ ,:5 he magnanim\sly cons5ts to g on ! plat=m at a conjur+ p]=mance1 & unwont$ objects are produc$ f 8 inside pockets4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,celebrat$ ,m9or ,poet4 ,ah1 ho/ess1 h[ 'd8 ,did y get my book ,i s5t y ye/]day8 ,ho/ess4 ,delightful6 ,i c\ldn't sleep till ,i'd read x6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,! ,infant ,prodigy has rea*$ ! middle ( an exce$+ly difficult pian(orte solo1 & "o ( ^? dramatic pauses ( :i* ! celebrat$ compos] is s fond has occurr$4 ,k9dly b undisc]n+ old ,lady4 ,play some?+ y "k1 de>ie4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,at ,a ,,f5c+ ,,at ,,home4--,di/+ui%$ ,=eign] 7h]o ( a hundr$ duels74 ,x is delightful1 mademoiselle4 ,y ,engli% are a sport+ nation4 ,fair ,memb]4 ,s glad y are enjoy+ x4 ,by ! way1 ,monsieur le ,m>quis1 h !y introduc$ f5c+ into ,france yet8 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,9 ,,! ,,cause ,,( ,,art4--,patron4 ,:5 are y] go9' to />t my wife's picture & m9e8 ',cause1 :5 ! 'ouse is up we're a go9'---- ,arti/4 ,oh1 ,i'll get ! canvases at once1 &---- ,patron 7millionaire74 ,canvas6 ',ang x6--none o' y] canvas = me6 ,price is no objec'6 ,i c af=d to pay = some?+ bett] ?an canvas66 ,tableau6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,gratify+6--,amateur ,arti/ 7to ! c>ri]74 ,did y see my picture safely deliv]$ at ! ,royal ,academy8 ,c>ri]4 ,yessir1 & mighty pleas$ !y seem$ to be ) x--lea/ways1 if "o may j$ge1 sir4 ,!y didn't say no?9'--b--lor' h[ !y did laugh6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,arti/ 7:o has recomm5d$ model to a fri5d74 ,h y be5 to sit to ,mr4 ,jones yet8 ,model4 ,well1 ,i've be5 to see him2 b directly ,i got into 8 /udio1 ',:y1' he said1 'y've got a head l a ,botticelli4' ,i don't "k :at a ,botticelli is1 b ,i didn't g !re to be call$ names1 s ,i come away6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,art ,/ud5t 7engag+ rooms74 ,:at is t8 ,l&lady4 ,t is a picture ( our *ur* done 9 wool by my daught]1 sir4 ,%e's subject to art1 too4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,sub-,,editor',s ,,aunt ,i always buy y\r pap] my de> ,horace1 said ! old lady1 al?\gh !re is mu* 9 x ,i _c approve (4 ,b !re is "o ?+ t puzzles me extremely4 ,yes1 aunt8 said ! ,sub-,editor meekly1 z he sipp$ 8 tea4 ,:y1 ,i notice t ! cont5ts bill inv>iably has "o ^w calculat$ to /imulate ! morbid curiosity ( ! read]4 ,an adjective4 ,circulation dep5ds ^u adjectives1 said ! ,sub-,editor4 ,i don't ?9k ,i object to !m1 ! old lady repli$2 b :at ,i want y to tell me is h[ y *oose !m4 ,h[ d y decide :e!r an occurr5ce is 'rem>kable' or 'extraord9>y1' 'a/\nd+' or 'excit+1' '?rill+' or 'al>m+1' 's5sational' or m]ely '/range1' '/>tl+' or 'unique'8 ,:at tells y :i* ^w to use8 ,well1 aunt1 we h a sy/em to indicate ! adjective to a nicety2 b---- ,my de> ,horace1 ,i w nev] brea! a ^w4 ,y %\ld "k t4 ,no "o holds ! secrets ( ! press m sacr$ ?an ,i4 ,! ,sub-,editor settl$ himself m com=tably 9 8 *air4 ,y see1 aunt1 ! great ?+ 9 an ev5+ pap] is human int]e/4 ,:at we want to get is news to hit ! man-9-!-/reet4 ,ev]y?+ t we d is done = ! man-9-!-/reet4 ,& !re=e we keep safely lock$ up 9 a little room a tame man ( ?is description4 ,he may n be mu* to look at1 b 8 sympa?ies are "r1 un]r+ly "r4 ,he sits !re f n9e till six1 & has ?+s to eat n[ & !n4 ,we call him ! ,?rillomet]4 ,h[ wond]ful6 ,h[ pr\d y %\ld be ,horace1 to be a "p ( ?is mighty me*anism1 ! press4 ,i am1 aunt4 ,well1 ! duties ( ! ,?rillomet] are v simple4 ,directly a piece ( news comes 91 x is ! place ( "o ( ! ,sub-,editors to hurry to ! ,?rillomet]'s room & read x to him4 ,i h to d ?is4 ,poor boy4 ,y are sadly ov]work$1 ,i fe>4 ,yes1 aunt4 ,& :ile ,i read ,i wat* 8 face4 ,long /udy has told me exactly :at degree ( int]e/ is excit$ )9 him by ! ann\ncem5t4 ,i "k in/antly :e!r 8 expression means 'ph5om5al' or only 'rem>kable1' :e!r 'di/ress+' or only 'sad1' :e!r---- ,is !re s mu* diff]5ce betwe5 'di/ress+' & 'sad1' ,horace8 ,oh1 yes1 aunt4 ,a suicide 9 ,half ,moon ,/reet is 'di/ress+'2 9 ! ,city ,road x is only 'sad4' ,aga91 a raid on a club 9 ,:ite*apel is ( no acc\nt2 b a raid on a ,we/-,end club is wor? ?ree l9es ( l>ge type 9 ! bill1 above ,fry's inn+s4 ,d y mean a club 9 ,soho :5 y say ,we/-,end8 ,yes1 aunt1 z a rule4 ,b :y d y call t ! ,we/-,end8 ,t 0 ! ,?rillomet]'s do+1 aunt4 ,he fell asleep ov] a club raid1 & a v good "o too1 :5 ,i said x 0 9 ,soho2 b :5 ,i told him ( ! next--also 9 ,soho1 *iefly ,italian wait]s--& said x 0 9 ! ,we/-,end1 8 eyes ne>ly came out ( 8 head4 ,s y see h[ useful ! ,?rillomet] c be4 ,mo/ +5i\s1 ,horace4 ,0 ?is y\r idea8 ,yes1 aunt4 ,clev] boy4 ,& h ! o!r pap]s adopt$ x8 ,yes1 aunt4 ,all ( !m4 ,!n y are gr[+ ri*1 ,horace8 ,no1 no1 aunt1 n at all4 ,un=tunately ,i lack ! bus9ess in/9ct4 ,o!r p gr[ ri* on my ideas4 ,9 fact1 s f> f be+ ri*1 ,i 0 go+ to v5ture to ask y---- ,tell me m ab\t ! ,?rillomet]1 said ! old lady briskly4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,at ,,! ,,wre/l+ ,,mat* ,en?usia/ic ,old ,g5t4 ,g on1 sonny6 ,/ick 'old ( 's 'ead4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,go+ ,,to ,,! ,,bad ,all ! way f ! ,national ,gall]y ,unto ! ,royal ,academy ,z ,i walk$1 ,i 0 guilty ( raill]y1 ,:i* ,i felt 0 v bad o' me4 ,?9k+ ( art's disa/]s1 ,/ill s9k+ to deep] abysses1 ,i said1 ,f ! ,old ,ma/]s ,:y g to ! new misses8 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,prehi/oric ,,peeps ,a visit to an arti/'s /udio4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,he4 ,awfully jolly conc]t1 wasn't x8 ,awfully jolly ?+ by t fell[--:at's 8 "n8--some?+ l ,doorknob4 ,%e4 ,doorknob6 ,:om d y mean8 ,i only "k ( ,bee?ov51 ,moz>t1 ,wagn]1 ,h&el---- ,he4 ,t's x6 ,h&el4 ,i knew x 0 some?+ y caught hold (6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,our ,,arti/ ,if y please1 sir1 "h's ! pr9t]'s boy call$ aga96 ,oh1 bo!r6 ,say ,i'm busy4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,songs ,,& ,,_! ,,s+]s ',tis h>d to give ! h& :]e ! he>t c nev] be6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,songs ,,& ,,_! ,,s+]s4 ,only ?is 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,horse ,deal]4 ,did t little m>e ,i sold y d = y1 sir8 ,n]v\s ,horseman4 ,ne>ly6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,optics4--,lectur]4 ,n[ let anyone gaze /eadfa/ly on any object--say1 = in/ance1 8 wife's eye--& he'll see himself look+ s exce$+ly small1 t---- ,/rong-m9d$ ,lady 79 front r[74 ,he>6 ,he>6 ,he>6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,aft] ,,! ,,fair4 7,c\ntry c\s9 comes up 9 ,augu/ to see ! exhibition ( pictures at ! ,royal ,academy674--,port]4 ,bless y] 'art1 we're clos$6 ,c\ntry ,c\s94 ,clos$6 ,:at6 didn't x pay866 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,jones4 ,h[ is x we see y s seldom at ! club n[8 ,old ,memb]4 ,ah1 well1 y see1 ,i'm n s "y z ,i 02 & ,i've _h a good deal ( worry lately2 & s1 :at ) "o ?+ & ano!r1 ,i've gr[n r fond ( my own society4 ,jones4 ,epicure6 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,true ,,inw>dness ,,( ,,art4--,photographs by ! ,ro5tg5 rays4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,man ,,:o ,,has ,a ,,turn ,,= ,,music4--,an organ-gr9d]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,! ,,phonograph ,,_c ,,lie4--,g]man ,deal] ,n[1 me9 ,h]r6 ,y've *u/ he]d y\r l(ely blay+ rebroduc$ to b]fection6 ,won't y buy "o8 ,amateur ,flauti/4 ,are y sure ! ?+'s all "r8 ,g]man ,deal]4 ,z]ta9ly1 me9 ,h]r4 ,amateur ,flauti/4 ,gad1 !n1 if t's :at my play+ is l1 ,i'm done ) ! flute = ev]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,private ,,inquiry4--,surveyor ( ,taxes 7to lit]>y g5t74 ,b surely y c arrive at "s e/imate ( ! am\nt receiv$ by y dur+ ! pa/ ?ree ye>s = example4 ,don't y keep books8 ,lit]>y ,g5t4 7readily74 ,oh de> no4 ,i write !m6 ,surveyor4 ,ahem--,i mean y've got "s sort ( acc\nts---- ,lit]>y ,g5t4 ,oh yes1 lots--7,surveyor bright5s up7--unpaid6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,!re's a boy wants to see y1 sir4 ,has he got a bill 9 8 h&8 ,no1 sir4 ,!n he's got x 9 8 pocket6 ,s5d him away6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,:at ,,our ,,arti/ ,,has ,,to ,,put ,,up ,,)4--,he4 ,by ,jove1 x's ! be/ ?+ ,i've ev] pa9t$6--& ,i'll tell y :at2 ,i've a good m9d to give x to ,m>y ,morison = h] w$d+ pres5t6 ,8 ,wifey4 ,oh1 b1 my love1 ! ,morisons h always be5 s hospitable to u6 ,y ought to give h] a real pres5t1 y "k--a fan1 or a sc5t-bottle1 or some?+ ( t sort6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,triumph ,frame ,mak] 79 ec/asies74 ,by ,jove6 ,jemima--e "o ( 'em on ! l9e aga96 99 99 99 99 99 ,,h[ ,,to ,,be ,,an ,,au?or ,mr4 ,pun*1 hav+ read ! late/ book on ! way to write = ! press1 feels t !re is at lea/ "o important subject n prop]ly expla9$ !re93 to wit1 ! cov]+ lett]4 ,he !re=e proce$s to supplem5t ?is & simil> books4444 ,x is1 h[ev]1 :5 y\r /ory is writt5 t ! difficulties beg94 ,hav+ select$ a suitable editor1 y s5d him y\r contribution accompani$ by a cov]+ lett]4 ,! writ+ ( ?is lett] is ! mo/ important "p ( ! :ole bus9ess4 ,"o /ory1 aft] all1 is v mu* l ano!r 79 y\r case1 probably1 exactly l ano!r71 b y c at lea/ 9 y\r cov]+ lett] %[ t y are a p]son ( orig9ality4 ,y\r lett] mu/ be "o ( ?ree k9ds3 plead+1 p]emptory1 or corruptive4 ,i proce$ to give examples ( ea*4 ,i4--,,! ,,plead+ ,,lett]4 #aii1 ,b]keley ,squ>e1 ,w4 ,,de> ,,mr4 ,,editor1--,i h a wife & sev5 />v+ *ildr52 c y possibly help u by accept+ ?is little /ory ( only #ah1jjj 7eighte5 ?\s&7 words8 ,n only w\ld y be do+ a "w ( *>ity to "o :o has suff]$ mu*1 b y w\ld also1 ,i v5ture to say1 be conf]r+ a real b5efit ^u ,engli% lit]ature--z ,i h already receiv$ ! ?anks ( no few] ?an ?irty-?ree editors = hav+ all[$ !m to p]use ?is manuscript4 ,y\rs humbly1 ,,! ,mc,h,a,r,d,y4 ,p4,s4--,my y\nge/ boy1 ag$ ?ree1 po9t$ to 8 little si/]'s ,gazeka toy la/ night & cri$ ,de editor6 ,^! are lit]ally ! fir/ words t h pass$ 8 lips = ?ree days4 ,c y /& by & see ! *ildr5 />ve8 ,,ii4--,,! ,,p]emptory ,,lett]4 ,,sir1--,k9dly publi% at once & oblige4 ,y\rs fai?fully1 ,,eug5e ,,hack5kick4 ,p4,s4--,i %all be r\nd at y\r (fice to-morr[ ab\t an adv]tisem5t = "s #fjj lb4 b>-bells1 & w look y up4 ,,iii4--,,! ,,corruptive ,,lett]4 ,middlesex ,h\se1 ,p>k ,lane1 ,,iv4 ,,de> ,,mr4 ,,smi?1--,c y come & d9e ) u q 9 a fri5dly way on ,?ursday at eight8 ,i want to introduce y to ! ,pr9cess ( ,holdwig-,s*los/e9 & ,mr4 ,alfr$ ,au/91 :o are s eag] to meet y4 ,d y "k ,i am really a little fright5$ at ! ?\ght ( meet+ su* a fam\s editor8 ,isn't x silly ( me8 ,y\rs v s9c]ely1 ,,emma ,,middlesex4 ,p4,s4--,i wond] if y c\ld f9d room 9 y\r spl5did little pap] = a silly /ory ,i am s5d+ y4 ,x w\ld be su* a surprise = ! ,duke's bir?day 7on ,monday74--,e4 ,m4 ,be=e conclud+ ! "q ( ! cov]+ lett] ,i mu/ m5tion ! sad case ( my fri5d ,halibut4 ,halibut _h a s]ies ( li?ograph$ lett]s ( all k9ds1 "o ( :i* he w\ld enclose ) e /ory he s5t out4 ,on a c]ta9 occasion he wrote a problem /ory ( ! mo/ advanc$ k9d2 :at1 9 fact1 ! review]s call a /rong /ory4 ,9 s5d+ ?is to ! editor ( a fam\s magaz9e 8 secret>y c>elessly slipp$ 9 ! wrong lett]3 ,,de> ,,mr4 ,,editor1 x ran1 ,i am try+ to rite y a littel /ory1 ,i d hope y w l my little /orey1 ,i want to tell y ab\t my kan>y & my pussy cat1 x's "n is ,peggy & x has sev5 kit5s1 h y any kit5s1 ,i w give y "o if y pr9t my /ory1 ,y\r lov+ little fri5d1 ,,flossie4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,prov]b ,,= ,,! ,,c\ncil ,,( ,,! ,,royal ,,academy4--,hang+ goes by fav\r4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,enrag$ ,,musician4--7,a ,duologue47 ,compos]4 ,did y /ay late at ,lady ,tittup's8 ,fri5d4 ,yes4 ,he>d ,miss ,bang play aga94 ,i 0 delight$ ) h] execution4 ,compos]4 ,h] execution6 ,t w\ld h pleas$ me2 %e des]v$ x = hav+ brutally murd]$ a piece ( m9e4 ,exeunt4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,g5tility ,,( ,,spee*4--,at ! music halls visitors n[ call = ano!r acrobat1 :5 !y want a second tumbl]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,! ,,writ+ ,,on ,,! ,,w9d[ ,portrait ( a g5tleman :o proposes to say he 0 deta9$ 9 t[n on important bus9ess4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,aw>d+ ,,! ,,biscuit ,d+y ,bohemian4 ,i want a ba? ,oliv]4 ,immaculate ,s]vitor4 ,my "n is n ,oliv]6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,s5d+-,,9 ,,day4--,indigo ,br[n takes 8 picture1 entitl$ ,peace & ,com=t1 to ! ,r4,a4 himself1 z he says1 ,^? picture c>ts are c]ta9 to scrat* x1 &1 ) ! assi/ance ( 8 cabby1 adds ! f9i%+ t\*es on 8 way !re6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,an ,,und\bt$ ,,old ,,ma/] 7,by ,himself7 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,lay+ ,,x ,,on ,,) ,a ,,palette-,,knife4--,miss ,s]e4 ,ah1 ,mr4 ,br[n1 if y c\ld only pa9t me z ,i 0 t5 ye>s ago6 ,our ,portrait ,pa9t] 7h]oically74 ,i am afraid *ildr5's portraits are n 9 my l9e4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,aft] ,,! ,,six? ,,rejection ,,by ,,! ,r4,a4--,! ,prodigal4 ,well1 dad1 "h ,i am1 ready to g into ! (fice to-morr[4 ,i've giv5 up my /udio & put all my sket*es 9 ! fire4 ,fond ,fa!r4 ,t's "r1 ',arold4 ,good lad6 ,y\r 'art's 9 ! "r place1 aft] all6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,br[n 7z ,hamlet7 to ,jones 7z ,*>les ! ,second74 ',norm\s am\nt ( ta/e display$ "h to-night6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,an ,,art ,,patron ,i'll h x if y %ort5 ! 'orizon1 & make x quids in/ead ( gu9eas6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,%[ ,,sunday4--,br[n 7try+ to f9d some?+ to admire 9 ,smudge's pa9t+74 ,by ,jove1 old *ap1 ^? fl[]s are beautifully put 96 ,smudge4 ,yes2 my old fri5d--,?+ummy--',r4,a4' y "k1 pa9t$ !m 9 = me4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,envy4--,sc5e--,miss ,semple & ,dawb]1 /&+ ne> 8 picture4 ,miss ,semple4 ,:y1 !re's a cr[d 9 front ( ,madd]'s picture6 ,dawb]4 ,someone fa9t$1 ,i suppose6 99 99 99 99 99 ,,an ,,arti/ic ,,episode ,incapacity = "w has come to be accept$ z ! hall-m>k ( g5ius4444 ,! collector wants only ! ?+ t is r>e1 & !re=e ! arti/ mu/ make 8 "w z r>e z he c4--,daily ,*ronicle4 ,joseph9e f\nd me /ret*$ full l5g? 9 a hammock 9 ! g>d54 ,:y ar5't y at "w8 %e ask$2 n feel+ se$y1 ,i hope8 ,nev] bett]1 said ,i4 ,b ,i've be5 mak+ myself too *eap4 ,we c\ldn't possibly help go+ to ! ,joneses la/ night1 de>4 ,tu%1 said ,i4 ,i mean !re is too mu* ( me4 ,i don't q und]/&1 %e said2 b !re c]ta9ly w be if y sp5d y\r morn+s loll+ 9 t hammock4 ,! di/ortive wantonness ( ?is rem>k left me cold4 ,i h made up my m9d1 ,i cont9u$1 q s]i\sly1 to d no m "w = a consid]able "t4 ,b1 my de> boy1 j ?9k---- ,i'm go+ to make myself sc>ce1 ,i insi/$4 ,ge(frey6 %e exclaim$1 ,i knew y w]5't well6 ,i releas$ myself4 ,joseph9e1 ,i said solemnly1 ^? e/imable p]sons :o collect my pictures w ?9k no?+ ( !m if !y become too common4 ,h[ d y "k !re are su* p]sons8 %e qu]i$4 ,i mu/ decl9e to answ] t "q1 ,i repli$2 b if !re are none x is because my "w is n yet suffici5tly r>e & preci\s4 ,i propose to "w no m--say1 = six or sev5 ye>s4 ,by t "t my reputation w be made1 & !re w be ! fi]ce/ competition = ! smalle/ canvas ,i condesc5d to sign4 ,%e kiss$ me4 ,i came out = ! h\sekeep+-money1 %e rem>k$ simply4 ,i w5t into ! h\se to fet* ! requir$ sum1 &1 by "s means ,i _c expla91 got to "w aga9 ^u ! late/ potboil]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,music ,,readily ,,acquir$4--,/eal+ a m>*4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,! ,,/orm ,,fi5d ,,songs ,,& ,,_! ,,s+]s 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,su* ,,is ,,fame6--,du*ess 7) e wi% to enc\rage conv]sation1 to g5tleman j introduc$74 ,y\r "n is v famili> to me inde$ = ! la/ t5 ye>s4 ,m9or ,poet 7flatt]$74 ,inde$1 ,du*ess6 ,& may ,i ask :at x 0 t fir/ attract$ y8 ,du*ess4 ,well1 ,i 0 /ay+ ) ,lady ,wald]%aw1 & %e _h a mo/ indiff]5t cook1 & :5ev] we f\nd fault ) any di% %e always quot$ y1 & said t y lik$ x s mu*6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,dome/ic ,,bliss4--,wife ( y\r ,bussum4 ,oh6 ,i don't want to int]rupt y1 de>4 ,i only want "s money = baby's socks--& to "k :e!r y w h ! mutton cold or ha%$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,9 ,a ,,m9or ,,key4--,he>ty ,fri5d 7meet+ ,op]atic ,compos]74 ,hallo1 old man1 h[ are y8 ,hav5't se5 y = an age6 ,:at's y\r late/ composition8 ,impecuni\s ,musician 7gloomily74 ,) my cr$itors4 ,exeunt sev]ally4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,to ,,be ,,sung ,,at ,,conc]t ,,pit*4--,! ,t>'s ,f>ewell4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,safe4--,gue/ 7aft] a jolly ev5+74 ,good night1 ol' fellah--,i'll leave my boo% ou%ide 'door---- ,bohemian ,ho/4 ,au' "r1 m' boy--7hic7--noborry'll t\s% 'em--goo' light66 ,exeunt4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,consolations ,,= ,,! ,,unhung ,n[ t ! pa9ful mon? ( susp5se 9 ,/udiol& is at an end1 x behoves u to apply our mo/ soo?+ embrocation to ! w\nd$ feel+s ( g5iuses ^: works h boom]ang$ _! way back f ,burl+ton ,h\se4 ,let !m rememb]3 ,t v few p really look at ! pictures 9 ! ,academy--!y only g to meet _! fri5ds1 or to say !y h be5 !re4 ,t ^? :o d exam9e ! works ( art are wont to disp>age ! same by way ( %[+ _! sup]ior sm>tness4 ,t "o picture has no *ance ( recognition ) f\rte5 hundr$ o!rs %\t+ at x4 ,t all ! be/ pavem5t-arti/s n[ give "o-man %[s4 ,!y c ?us select _! own pit*1 & are nev] ru?lessly ski$4 ,t photography 9 col\rs is com+1 & !n ! ,r4,a4 w h to g4 ,t ,rembr&t1 ,holbe91 ,rub5s & ,v&yck 7 nev] hung at ! summ] exhibition4 ,t ,botticelli1 ,correggio & ,titian manag$ to rub along )\t t privilege4 ,t ! t5-gu9ea frame t 0 b\ght 7or ow$ =7 ?is spr+ w d spl5didly next ye> = ano!r ma/]piece4 ,t ! pa9t] mu/ h specim5s ( 8 be/ "w to decorate ! some:at b>e walls ( 8 /udio4 ,t ! be/ te/ ( a picture is be+ able to live ) x--or live x d[n--s :y s5d x away f its mo/ l5i5t critic8 ,t probably ! *ef-d'oeuvre s5t 9 0 %[n to ! hang+ committee up-side d[n4 ,t1 suppos+ !y saw x prop]ly1 !y 7 afraid t its success w\ld put ! ,academy to ! exp5se ( hav+ a rail+ plac$ 9 front4 ,& f9ally1 we w\ld rem9d ! reject$ "o t1 aft] all1 8 bantl+ has be5 exhibit$ 9 ! ,r4,a4--to ! presid5t & 8 colleagues engag$ 9 ! "w ( selection4 ,somebody at lea/ look$ at x = q ?ree seconds4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,art ,,note4--,! e>ly ,italian /yle4--,an organ-gr9d] at five o'clock 9 ! morn+4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,our ,,flat4--,extract f ,lady's ,correspond5ce4 ----,9 fact1 our reception 0 a complete success4 ,we _h "s excell5t musicians4 ,i d>esay y w wond] :]e we put !m1 ) su* a cr[d ( p2 b we manag$ capitally6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,%[ ,,sunday4--,v&yke ,br[ne4 ,peace1 my de> lady1 peace & ref9em5t1 ^? are ! two ess5tials 9 an arti/'s surr\nd+s4 ,ent] ,ma/] & ,miss ,br[ne4 ,tableau6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,v>ni%+ ,,day ,,am5ities4--,little ,smudge4 ,( c\rse1 ,i "k p]fectly well my /yle isn't q develop$ yet1 b ,i feel ,i am1 if ,i might s express x1 9 a transition /age1 don't y "k1 ,bro!r ,bru% 7ski$ ?is ye>74 ,ah6 ,i see1 go+ f bad to worse6 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,mighty ,,p5 ,) ?is little in/rum5t t re/s s lightly 9 ! h&1 :ole nations c be mov$4444 ,:5 x is pois$ betwe5 ?umb & f+]1 x becomes a liv+ ?+--x moves ) ! pulsations ( ! liv+ he>t & ?9k+ bra91 & writes d[n1 almo/ unconsci\sly1 ! ?\ghts t live--! words t burn4444 ,x w\ld be difficult to f9d a s+le newspap] or magaz9e to :i* we c\ld turn = a lesson 9 pure & elegant ,engli%4--,miss ,corelli 9 ,free ,op9ions ,freely ,express$4 ,o magic p51 :at wond]s lie ,)9 y\r little l5g?6 ,?\gh small & paltry to ! eye ,y boa/ a giant's /r5g?4 ,betwe5 my f+] & my ?umb ,a liv+ creature y become1 ,& to ! li/5+ _w y give ,! words t burn--! ?\ghts t live4 ,(t1 :5 ! sacr$ fire gl[s hot1 ,y\r wiz>d p[] is prov$3 ,y write till lun*1 & nations n ,infrequ5tly are mov$2 ',twixt lun* & tea p]haps y damn ,= good & all1 "s social %am1 ,& by ! "t ,i pause to sup-- ,behold ,c>negie crumpl$ up6 ,?r\gh y\r unconsci\s eyes ,i see ,/range beauty1 little p56 ,y make life exquisite to me1 ,if n to o!r m54 ,y fill me ) an inw>d joy ,no outw>d tr\ble c de/roy1 ,n ev5 :5 ,i /ruggle ?r\gh ,"s fooli% ignorant review2 ,nor :5 ! press bad gramm> scrawls ,9 wild uncultur$ ha/e1 ,& :i* intol]ably galls ,"o's lit]>y ta/e4 ,:at are ! editors ab\t1 ,:om "o w\ld ?9k w\ld edit out ,! %ock+ ,engli% & ! /yle ,:i* e page & l9e defile8 ,!re is1 alas6 no magaz9e1 ,no pap] t "o kn[s ,to :i* a man c\ld turn = clean ,& graceful ,engli% prose2 ,n ev51 ,o my p51 ?\gh y ,y\rself may write = "o or two1 ,& l5d to !m a /yle1 a tone1 ,a gramm> t is all y\r own4 ,i see ! %ad[s ( decay ,on all sides d>kly loom2 ,massage & manicure hold sway1 ,cosmetics fairly boom2 ,old d[ag]s & budd+ maids ,alike affect complexion-aids1 ,:ile middle age ) anxi\s c>e ,dyes to re/ore its dw9dl+ hair4 ,! "t is out ( jo9t1 b /ill ,i am n hopeless q ,s long z y exi/1 my quill1 ,once m to set x "r4 ,woman w cease f r\ge1 ,i ?9k1 ,man p\r 8 hair-wa% d[n ! s9k1 ,if y w yet cons5t to give ,! words t burn--! ?\ghts t live4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,h9t ,,= ,,! ,,publi%]s4 ,z ! publi%+ season w soon be 9 full play--:i* means t !re w be pl5ty ( "w--we sugge/ ! foll[+ z titles ( books1 to succe$ ! publication ( ,p ,i h ,met1 by an ,am]ican3-- ,p ,i h tak5 into ,cu/ody1 by a ,policeman4 ,p t h ,met me ,half-way1 by an ,insolv5t4 ,p ,i h ,spla%$1 by a ,scav5g]4 ,p ,i h ,done1 by a ,jew ,bill-disc\nt]4 ,p ,i h ,abus$1 by a ',bus ,conductor4 ,p ,i h ,run ,ov]1 by a ,but*]'s ,boy4 ,p ,i h ,run ,aga9/1 by a ,sweep4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,ro>+ ,,trade4--,keep+ a m5ag]ie4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,complim5ts ,,"o ,,might ,,improve ,,on4--,mrs4 ,mudge4 ,i d admire ! wom5 y draw1 ,mr4 ,p59k4 ,!y're s beautiful & s ref9$6 ,tell me1 :o is y\r model8 ,mrs4 ,mudge rises 9 ,mrs4 ,p59k's op9ion4 ,p59k4 ,oh1 my wife always sits = me6 ,mrs4 ,mudge 7) great surprise74 ,y don't say s6 ,well1 ,i ?9k y're "o ( ! clev]e/ m5 ,i "k6 ,mrs4 ,p59k's op9ion ( ,mrs4 ,mudge falls bel[ z]o4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,! ,,gre5-,,ey$ ,,mon/]4--,george 7,it9]ant ,pun*-&-,judy ,%[man74 ,i say1 ,bill1 %e d draw6 ,bill 78 p>tn]1 ) drum & box ( puppets74 ,h'm--x's m ?an we c6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,selection4--,br[n 7z he 0 leav+ our ,art ,conv]sazione1 aft] a rattl+ scramble 9 ! cloak-room74 ,conf\nd x6 ,got my own hat1 aft] all6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,ecc5tric ,old ,g5t 7^: pet av]sion is a dirty *ild74 ,g away1 y dirty girl1 & wa% y\r face6 ,indignant ,y\ng/]4 ,y g 'ome1 y dirty old man1 & d y] 'air6 99 99 99 99 99 ,,musical ,,fact4--,p are apt to compla9 ( ! vile tunes t are play$ ab\t ! /reets by gr9d+ organs1 & yet !y may all be said to be ! music ( ,h&le4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,is ,,!re ,,room ,,= ,,m>y ,,!re8 ,,songs ,,& ,,_! ,,s+]s 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,photograph]4 ,i ?9k ?is is an excell5t portrait ( y\r wife4 ,mr4 ,smallwe$4 ,i don't "k--sort ( repose ab\t ! m\? t someh[ doesn't seem "r4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,! ,,great ,,prize ,,fight4--,johnnie 7:o f9ds t 8 box1 ,l#bj1 has be5 appropriat$ by ! ,fancy74 ,i beg y\r p>don1 b ?is is my box6 ,bill ,ba%=d4 ,oh1 is x8 ,well1 :y don't y tike x8 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,)\t ,,prejudice4--,ugly ,man 7:o ?9ks he's a privileg$ wag1 to arti/74 ,n[1 ,mr4 ,daubigny1 draw me4 ,arti/ 7:o doesn't l be+ call$ ,daubigny1 & ^: real "n is ,smi?74 ,c]ta9ly4 ,b y won't be (f5d$ if x's l y4 ,eh8 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,scrimble4 ,s sorry ,i've none ( my "w to %[ y4 ,fact is1 ,i've j s5t all my pictures to ! ,academy4 ,mrs4 ,macmillions4 ,:at a pity6 ,i did s mu* want to see !m4 ,h[ soon d y expect !m back8 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,"y ,,noveli/',s ,,guide ,,to ,,m$ic9e ,,*lor(orm4 ,invaluable to writ]s ( s5sational /ories4 ,e high-class fiction>y crim9al c>ries a bottle 9 8 pocket4 ,a few drops1 spread on a h&k]*ief & wav$ )9 a y>d ( ! h]o's nose1 w produce a /ate ( complete unconsci\sness la/+ = sev]al h\rs1 )9 :i* "t 8 pockets may be se>*$ at leisure4 ,?is prop]ty ( *lor(orm1 famili> to e exp]t noveli/1 seems to h escap$ ! notice ( ! m$ical pr(ession4 ,,consumption4 ,! regulation illness = use 9 tales ( mawki% pa?os4 ,v popul> "s ye>s ago1 :5 ! h]o9e made f>ewell spee*es 9 blank v]se1 & di$ to sl[ music4 ,=tunately1 h[ev]1 ! public has lo/ its fondness = "w ( ?is sort4 ,consumption at its la/ /age is easily curable 79 novels7 by ! reappe>ance ( a h]o suppos$ to be dead4 ,two pages lat] ! h]o9e w ga9 /r5g? 9 a way :i* h] doctors--n unnaturally--w describe z p]fectly m>vell\s4 ,& 9 ! next *apt] ! m>riage-bells w r+4 ,illu/ration ,,doctor4 ,always include a doctor among y\r *>act]s4 ,he is q easy to manage1 & inv>iably w belong to "o ( ^! ?ree types3 7a7 ,! em95t speciali/4 ,tall1 imp]turbable1 urbane4 ,only comes incid5tally into ! /ory4 7b7 ,"y1 bu/l+1 en]getic4 ,n mu* practice1 & pl5ty ( "t to look aft] o!r p's affairs4 ,h>d-head$ & practical4 ,(t5 ! h]o's college fri5d4 ,%\ld be giv5 a pretty girl to m>ry 9 ! la/ *apt]4 7c7 ,! old family doctor4 ,b5evol5t1 g5ial1 wise4 ,we>s gold-rimm$ spectacles1 :i* he has to take (f & wipe at ! pa!tic p>ts ( ! book4 ,,fev]4 ,a nice1 useful t]m = fiction>y illnesses4 ,x is be/ to avoid m5tion ( specific symptoms1 beyond t ( a burn+ br[1 ?\gh1 if !re are any family secrets :i* ne$ to be reveal$1 delirium is sure to sup]v5e at a lat] /age4 ,ar?ur ,p5d5nis1 = in/ance1 _h fictional fev]1 & baffl$ doctors h endeav\r$ ev] s9ce to f9d out :at really 0 ! matt] ) him4 ,bra9-fev]1 aga91 is unkn[n to ! m$ical faculty1 b y may safely afflict y\r intellectual h]o ) x4 ,! treatm5t ( fiction>y fev] is q simple1 consi/+ solely ( frequ5t doses ( grapes & cool+ dr9ks4 ,^! w be br\ght to ! suff]] by ! h]o9e1 & ^! simple rem$ies adm9i/]$ 9 ?is way h nev] be5 kn[n to fail4 ,illu/ration ,,fracture4 ,aft] "o ( y\r *>act]s has come a cropp] 9 ! hunt+-field he w be tak5 on a hurdle to ! ne>e/ h\se3 usually1 by a /range co9cid5ce1 ! h]o9e's home4 ,& he w be said to h su/a9$ a comp\nd fracture--a vague description :i* w q satisfy y\r read]s4 ,,g\t4 ,an invaluable disease to ! humori/4 ,rememb] t h]oes & h]o9es are entirely immune f x1 b e ri* old uncle is b\nd to suff] f x4 ,! engagem5t ( 8 niece to an impecuni\s "y g5tleman inv>iably co9cides ) a %>p attack ( g\t4 ,! hum\r ( x all is1 p]haps1 a little difficult to see1 b x nev] fails to tickle ! public4 ,illu/ration ,,he>t ,,disease4 ,an excell5t compla9t = kill+ (f a villa94 ,if y wi% to pave ! way = x arti/ically1 ?is is ! recognis$ me?od3 ,on page #ajj he w falt] 9 ! middle ( a s5t5ce1 gr[ pale1 & press 8 h& %>ply to 8 side4 ,9 a mom5t he w h recov]$1 & w assure 8 anxi\s fri5ds t x is no?+4 ,b ! read] kn[s bett]4 ,he has met ! same premonitory symptoms 9 scores ( novels1 & he w n be 9 ! lea/ surpris$ :51 on ! middle ( page #bej1 ! villa9 sudd5ly drops dead4 ,illu/ration 99 99 99 99 99 ,,unpopul> ,,game ,,at ,,! ,,royal ,,academy4--,high-sky-high6 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,r\gh ,,w9e4--,rude-%eim]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,n]v\s4--,mrs4 ,malaprop 0 induc$ to g to a music hall ! o!r ev5+4 ,%e nev] means to set foot 9 "o aga94 ,! extortions "s ( ! p]=m]s ?rew !mselves into q upset h]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,motto ,,= ,a ,,model ,,music-,,hall ,,ent]ta9m5t4--,ev]y?+ 9 its 'turn' & no?+ long4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,break+ ,,x ,,g5tly4--,8 ,c\s9s4 ,we s5t (f ! wire to /op y\r model com+4 ,b y _h put "o ^w too _m--s we /ruck x out4 ,real ,arti/4 ,oh1 inde$4 ,:at ^w did y /rike out8 ,8 ,c\s9s4 ,y _h writt5 'he wasn't to come1 z y _h only j discov]$ y c\ldn't pa9t to-day4' ,s we cross$ out 'to-day4' 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,! ,,/ate ,,( ,,! ,,m>ket4--,arti/ 7to cu/om]1 :o has come to buy on behalf ( a l>ge furni%+ firm 9 ,tott5ham ,c\rt ,road73 ,h[ w\ld ?is suit y8 ',summ]'6 ,cu/om]3 ,h'm--',summ]4' ,well1 sir1 ! fact is we f9d !re's v little dem& = gre5 goods j n[4 ,if y _h a l9e ( autumn t9ts n[--t's ! article we f9d mo/ sale = among our cu/om]s6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,our ,amateur ,romeo 7:o has tak5 a cottage 9 ! c\ntry1 s z to be able to /udy )\t int]ruption74 ,arise1 fair sun1 & kill ! envi\s moon---- ,own] ( rubicund c\nt5ance 7popp+ head ov] ! h$ge71 ,beg p>don1 zur6 ,be y a talk9' to ,oi1 zur8 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,bitt]s ,,at ,,! ,,club ,mac,stodge 7,pictor ignotus74 ,:o's t go+ out8 ,o',duff] 7,pictor ignotissimus74 ,"o ,erne/ ,raphael ,sopely1 :o pa9t$ ,lady ,midas6 ,mac,stodge4 ,oh1 ! arti/6 ,o',duff]4 ,no4 ,! ,royal ,academician6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,la ,,vie ,,de ,,boheme4--,fir/ ,bohemian 7to second ditto74 ,i c't = ! life ( me ?9k :y y wa/$ all t "t haggl+ ) t tailor *ap1 & beat+ him d[n1 :5 y "k1 old *ap1 y won't be able to pay him at all4 ,second ,bohemian4 ,ah1 t's x6 ,i h a consci5ce4 ,i want ! poor *ap to lose z little z possible6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,little ,gutt]snipe 7:o is gett+ q us$ to pos+74 ,w y] want me t] tike my bun d[n8 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,g5ial ,doctor 7aft] laugh+ he>tily at a joke ( 8 pati5t's74 ,ha6 ha6 ha6 ,!re's n mu* ! matt] ) y6 ,?\gh ,i d believe t if y 7 on y\r dea?-b$ y'd make a joke6 ,irrepressible ,pati5t4 ,:y1 ( c\rse ,i %\ld4 ,x w\ld be my la/ *ance6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,%e 7to ,raphael ,gre5e1 :o pa9ts gems = ! ,r4,a4 t are nev] accept$74 ,i d hope y'll be hung ?is ye>4 ,i'm sure y des]ve to be6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,art ,,intellig5ce ,%e 7reads74 ,!re are upw>ds ( fifty ,engli% pa9t]s & sculptors n[ 9 ,rome---- ,he 7,briti% ,phili/9e--s]v$ on a late celebrat$ jury674 ,ah6 no wond] we c\ldn't get t scull]y :ite-wa%$6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,devot$ little wife 7to hubbie1 :o has be5 late at ! club74 ,n[1 de>1 see1 y\r breakfa/ is q ready4 ,a nice kipp]1 grill$ *ick5 & mu%rooms ) bacon1 poa*$ eggs on toa/--tea & c(fee4 ,any?+ else y'd l1 de>ie8 ,victim ( la/ night 7groans74 ,yes--an appetite6 ,collapses4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,aft] ,,fe$+-,,"t4--,%[man ( ,travell+ ,m5ag]ie4 ,n[1 ladies & g5tlem51 we come to ! mo/ int]e/+ "p ( ! 'ole exhibition6 ,sev5 diff]5t species ( hanimals1 9 ! same cage1 dwell9' 9 'armony4 ,y c\ld see !m ) ! nak$ heye1 only y h come too late4 ,!y are all n[ inside ! lion6 99 99 99 99 99 ,,to ,,billi>d ,,play]s4--,if y w\ld obey ! rules ( billi>ds1 always att5d to ! cannons ( ! game4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,susp5sory ,,act4--,hang+ ! ,academy exhibition4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,9 ,,! ,,billi>d ,,room4--,major ,c>ambole4 ,i nev] give any bribes to ! club s]vants on pr9ciple4 ,capta9 ,haz>d4 ,!n ,i suppose ! m>k] looks on ! tip ( y\r cue )\t int]e/4 ,illu/ration 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,9 ,a ,,b>1 ,,newm>ket4--,se$y ,individual 7to ,kn[+ ,"o74 ,d'y] want to buy a diamond p9 *eap8 ,kn[+ ,"o4 ',ere1 get out ( ?is6 ,:at d'y take me =8 ,a jugg9s8 ,s4 ,i4 ,give y] my ^w x's wor? sixty quid if x's wor? a p5ny4 ,& y c 'ave x = a t5n]4 ,k4 ,o4 ,let's 'ave a look at x4 ,:]e is x8 ,s4 ,i4 ,9 t old g5t's tie4 ,w y] 'ave x8 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,songs ,,& ,,_! ,,s+]s ,yew h>x$ me woy hoi l>v$ :5 l>ve %\ld be ,a ?+ hun-d]-eam$ h( l>ve twixt yew han me4 ,yew moight h9-t]eat ! sun tew cease tew %e-o9e ,has seek tew /y saw deep a l>ve has mo9e4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,%akspe>e ,,illu/rat$ ,oh1 my prophetic s\l6 ,my uncle6 ,hamlet1 ,act ,i41 ,sc4 #e4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,bro!r ,,arti/ ,we h regul>ly att5d$ ! ,academy n[ = _m ye>s1 b nev] d we rememb] su* a poor %[ ( portraits2 !y _c prove to be o!rwise ?an ! laugh+-/ock ( tailors & _! cu/om]s4--,tailor & ,cutt]4 ,! tailor lean$ ^u 8 goose1 ,& wip$ away a te>3 ,:at portraits pa9t+-m5 produce1 ,he sobb$1 f ye> to ye>6 ,^! fell[s make _! sitt]s smile ,9 suits t d n fit1 ,!y're wrongly button$1 & ! /yle ,is n ! ?+ a bit4 ,oh1 arti/1 ,i'm an arti/ too6 ,i bid y use re/ra9t1 ,& only %[ y\r sitt]s1 d1 ,9 fitt+ coats ( pa9t2 ,9 va9 y cr[n ^? errant seams ,) smiles t look e!real1 ,= man may be ! /uff ( dreams-- ,b dreams are n mat]ial4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,m$ical4--,a sculptor fri5d1 :o has /rabismus1 consoles himself ) ! ?\ght t he c always keep 8 pr(ession 9 view ?r\gh hav+ a ca/ 9 8 eye4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,frame-mak] 7to gift$ amateur1 :o is ord]+ frames = a few pr9ts & sket*es74 ,ah1 ,i suppose y want some?+ *eap an' ord9>y = ?is8 ,n4,b4--,?is 0 a *]i%$ little sket* by our amateur himself4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,n ,,q ,,! ,,same4--,sc5e3 ,exhibition ( ,works ( ,art4 ,deal] 7to fri5d1 indicat+ /\t p]son closely exam9+ a ,v&yke74 ,d y "k :o t is8 ,i s (t5 see him ab\t4 ,fri5d4 ,i "k him4 ,he's a collector4 ,deal] 7mu* int]e/$74 ,inde$6 ,:at does he collect8 ,pictures8 ,fri5d4 ,no4 ,income tax4 ,exeunt sev]ally4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,art ,,class4--,inspector4 ,:at is a l&scape pa9t]8 ,/ud5t4 ,a pa9t] ( l&scapes4 ,inspector4 ,good4 ,:at is an animal pa9t]8 ,/ud5t4 ,a pa9t] ( animals4 ,inspector4 ,excell5t4 ,:at is a m>9e pa9t]8 ,/ud5t4 ,a pa9t] ( m>9es4 ,inspector4 ,admirable6 ,g & tell x !m4 ,call next class4 ,exeunt /ud5ts4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,be/ ,,publi%]',s ,,circul>4--,a r\nd d9+-table4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,social ,,agonies4--,anxi\s ,musician 79 a :isp]1 to ,mrs4 ,lyon ,hunt]'s butl]74 ,:]e's my cello8 ,butl] 79 /5torian tones1 to ! room74 ,signor ,w]esmicello6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,br[n4 ,pity ,jones has lo/--8 figure6 ,rob9son4 ,n lo/1 b gone be=e6 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,en?usia/ic ,briton 7to se$y ,am]ican1 :o has be5 runn+ d[n all our national monum5ts74 ,b ev5 if our ,h\ses ( ,p>liam5t 'ar5't 9 x1' z y say1 ) ! ,masonic ,temple ( ,*icago1 surely1 sir1 y w admit ! ,?ames ,embankm5t1 = in/ance---- ,se$y ,am]ican4 ,waal1 guess ,i don't ?9k s durn$ mu* ( y\r ,?ames ,embankm5t1 nei!r4 ,x ra9$ all ! bl>m$ "t ! night ,i slep on x4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,pr(essional ,,view ,,( ,,?+s4--,old ,paynt] nev] neglects any opportunity = advanc+ art4 ,e ev5+ he has ! clo? drawn4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,bev]age ,,= ,a ,,musician4--,?or\gh bass4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,poetical ,,lic5ce4--,a music-hall's4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,turf ,,re=m4--,m[+ y\r lawn4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a ,,mon/] ,,meet+44--,a giant & a dw>f4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,! ,,soak]',s ,,p>adise4--,dropmore4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illu/ration3 ,,f9is 99 99 99 99 99 ,,bradbury1 ,,agnew1 ,,co4 ,,ld41 ,,pr9t]s1 ,,london ,,& ,,tonbridge4