,this ,is ,not a ,story 7written around #aggb-published in #agih7 ,original ,french title3 ,ceci n'est pas un conte ,by ,denis ,diderot ,translation into ,english by ,peter ,phalen ,copyright 7#bjaj7 by ,peter ,phalen ,this work is licensed for non-commecial use under the ,creative ,commons ,attribution-,noncommercial-,share,alike #c4j license4 ,this story is found in ,grimms ,correspondence1 dated ,april #aggc1 but that version is incomplete4 ,the history of ,tani and la ,reymer is missing1 as is the end of the history of ,mademoiselle de ,la ,chaux4 ,m4 ,a4-,a4 ,barbier 7,dictionary of the ,anonymous7 suggested that ,diderots memory must have failed him when he attributed translations of ,humes ,first ,essays on ,metaphysics p4 #cba and the ,essays on ,human ,understanding p4 #cbh to ,mademoiselle de ,la ,chaux4 ,but this was certainly not the case4 ,diderot was only giving the works of ,hume as translated by ,mademoiselle de ,la ,chaux a more general title4 ,the ,political ,discourses make up the second part of the ,essays4 ,mademoiselle de ,la ,chaux wrote the first translation of this part 7,of ,commerce2 ,of ,luxury2 ,of ,money1 ,amsterdam1 #ageb1 #agec1 in-#ab2 ,paris and ,lyon1 in-#ab74 ,it includes only seven of ,humes seventeen discourses along with some commentary by the translator4 ,abbot ,le ,blanc and later ,mauvillon did not publish their versions of the same piece until #aged4 ,mademoiselle de ,la ,chauxs translation of ,humes ,writings on ,economics was included in the ,x,vth tome of the ,collections from the ,leading ,economists4 ,she died in #agee4 ,this ,is ,not ,a ,story ,when one tells a story it is for a listener2 and however short the story is1 it is highly unlikely that the teller is not occasionally interrupted by his audience4 ,so ,i have introduced into the narration that will be read1 and which is not a story1 or which is a bad one if you have doubts about that1 a character that might approximate the role of the reader2 and ,i begin4 99 99 99 99 99 ,and you conclude right there8 --,that a subject this interesting must make us dizzy1 be the talk of the town for a month1 be phrased and rephrased until flavorless1 produce a thousand arguments1 at least twenty leaflets1 and around a hundred bits of verse in favor or against4 ,in spite of all the finesse1 learning1 and pure grit of the author1 given that his work has not lead to any violence it is mediocre4 ,very mediocre4 --,but it seems to me that we owe him a rather agreeable evening1 and that this reading has brought444 --,what8 ,a litany of worn-out vignettes fired from left and right1 saying just one single thing known for all eternity1 that man and woman are extraordinarily unfortunate beasts4 --,nevertheless the epidemic has won you over1 and you have contributed just like any other4 --,whether or not it be to ones taste1 it is only good taste to strike the tone given4 ,when meeting company1 we customarily tidy up appearances at the door of the apartment for whomever we are seeing2 we pretend to be funny when we are sad2 sad1 when we would have liked to be funny4 ,we do not want to appear out of place anywhere2 so the literary hack politicizes1 the political pundit talks metaphysics1 the metaphysician moralizes1 the moralist talks finance1 the financier1 letters or logic4 ,rather than listen or keep quiet1 each ramble on about what they are ignorant of1 and everyone bores each other with silly vanity or politeness4 --,you are in a bad mood4 --,i usually am4 --,and ,i think it is appropriate for me to reserve my vignette for a better time4 --,you mean you will wait for me to leave4 --,it is not that4 --,or you are afraid that ,i might have less indulgence for you1 face to face1 than ,i would for your average gentleman4 --,it is not that4 --,be agreeable then and tell me what it is4 --,that my vignette will not prove any better than those that have annoyed you4 --,hmph4 ,tell it anyway4 --,no4 ,you have had enough4 --,you know that of all the ways the others have enraged me1 yours is the most unpleasant8 --,and what is mine8 --,that of being asked to do the thing you are dying to do4 ,well1 my friend1 ,i ask you1 ,i pray you satisfy yourself4 --,satisfy myself8 --,begin1 by ,god1 begin4 --,i will try to be short4 --,that cannot hurt4 ,here1 a little out of spite1 ,i coughed1 ,i spat1 ,i drew my handkerchief out slowly1 ,i blew my nose1 ,i opened my snuff box1 ,i took out a pinch of snuff2 and ,i heard my fellow man say between his teeth3 ,if the telling is short1 the preliminaries are long444 ,i had the urge to call a servant under the pretext of some errand4 ,but ,i did not1 and ,i said3 99 99 99 99 99 ,it must be admitted that there are very good men1 and very bad women4 --,one sees that every day1 and sometimes without leaving the house4 ,go on8 --,go on8 ,i knew an ,alsatian beauty4 ,beautiful enough to make old men come running and stop younger ones in their tracks4 --,i also knew her4 ,her name was ,madame ,reymer4 --,that is correct4 ,a newcomer from ,nancy by the name of ,tani fell madly in love with her4 ,he was poor1 one of those lost children chased from the house by harsh parents with a large family1 thrown into the world with no idea what will become of them1 knowing instinctually that there will never be a worse sort than the one they are fleeing from4 ,tani was infatuated with ,madame ,raymer1 consumed by a passion that gave him courage and ennobled all his actions in his eyes1 so that he willingly performed those most disturbing and vile to soothe the misery of his soul4 ,during the day he would work the docks2 at evening he begged in the streets4 --,it was wonderful1 but it could not last4 --,tani1 sick of living on the brink1 or rather of keeping a charming woman in poverty1 ever haunted by rich men urging her to rid herself of that beggar ,tani444 --,which she would have done fifteen days or a month later4 --and to accept their riches1 decided to leave her and set out in search of fortune abroad4 ,he hunted around and won passage on one of the kings ships4 ,it came time to depart4 ,he took leave of ,madame ,reymer4 ,my love1 he said to her1 ,i can no longer exploit your affections4 ,i have accepted the inevitable4 ,i am leaving4 ,you are leaving6 ,yes444 ,and where are you going8 ,to the islands4 ,you deserve something more1 and ,i can no longer come between you and it4 --,kindhearted ,tani6444 --,and what is to become of me8444 --,traitor6444 --,you are surrounded by people who want to please you4 ,i release you from your promises1 ,i release you from your vows4 ,find the suitor that is most agreeable to you2 accept him4 ,i beg of you444 ,oh ,tani6 ,if you so desire444 --,no need to pantomime ,madame ,reymer4 ,i get it444 --,as ,i leave1 all ,i ask is that you not commit yourself to anything that might stand between us permanently4 ,promise me1 my beautiful friend4 ,whatever country on earth ,i find myself in1 you will know something terrible has befallen me if a year goes by without my bearing you witness of my tender attachment4 ,do not cry444 --,women can cry on command4 --444and do not fight against plans that are in the end inspired by the reproaches of my heart and from which they would not keep me4 ,and just like that ,tani left for ,saint-,domingue4 --,and just in time1 for ,madame ,reymer as for himself4 --,how would you know8 --,i know as well as anyone that when ,tani advised her to make a choice she made it4 --,well done6 --,continue your narration4 --,tani had a strong will and an entrepreneurial spirit4 ,he did not tarry in making himself known4 ,he joined the sovereign council of the ,cape4 ,he distinguished himself by his wisdom and equity4 ,he had no ambitions to great fortune2 all he wanted was a quick and an honest one4 ,each year he sent a portion of it to ,madame ,reymer4 ,he reached his goal444 somewhere between nine and ten years2 no1 ,i do not believe he was absent any longer than that444 to present his lover with a small wallet containing the product of his work and virtue444 and lucky for ,tani1 it was just at the moment when she had left the last of his successors4 --,the last8 --,yes4 --,so there were several8 --,assuredly4 --,go on1 go on4 --,but perhaps ,i have nothing left to tell you that you do not already know better than ,i4 --,what does it matter8 ,go on anyway4 --,madame ,reymer and ,tani occupied a rather pretty building on rue ,sainte- ,marguerite1 at my doorstep4 ,i took a great liking to ,tani and frequented his house1 which was1 if not opulent1 at least luxurious4 --,i can assure you1 without having done ,reymers accounting1 that she had an income of over #ae1jjj pounds before ,tani returned4 --and she kept it from him8 --,yes4 --,why would she8 --,she was greedy and predatory4 --,i could see predatory1 but greedy8 ,a greedy courtesan8444 ,these two lovers had lived in perfect harmony for five or six years4 --,thanks to the shrewdness of the one and the unconditional confidence of the other4 --,ah4 ,it is true that it would have been impossible for the shadow of a doubt to enter a soul as pure as ,tanis4 ,the one thing ,i did occasionally notice was that ,madame ,reymer quickly forgot her original poverty1 was tormented by her love of wealth and splendor1 was humiliated that so beautiful a woman had traveled on foot444 --,that she had not gone by coach8 --,and the spark of vice brought out the worst in her4 ,you laugh8444 ,it was then that ,m4 de ,maurepas#a hatched the plan to build a market up north4 ,the success of the enterprise demanded a lively and intelligent man4 ,he had his eye on ,tani1 to whom he had entrusted the direction of many important business ventures while he was at the ,cape1 which were always carried out to the satisfaction of the minister4 ,tani was upset by this mark of distinction4 ,he was so content1 so happy with his girl6 ,he loved1 he was or he thought himself loved4 --,well said4 --,what could gold possibly add to his good fortune8 ,nothing4 ,but the minister insisted4 ,he had to strengthen his resolve2 he had to tell ,madame ,reymer4 ,i arrived at his quarters right at the end of this unfortunate episode4 ,poor ,tani was collapsed in tears4 ,what is the matter1 my friend8 ,i asked him4 ,between sobs he told me1 ,it is this woman6 ,madame ,reymer was working calmly at a tapestry4 ,tani rose brusquely and left4 ,i stayed behind with his lover1 who did not allow me to remain ignorant of what she thought of ,tanis irrationality4 ,she exaggerated the severity of her financial state2 she adorned her appeal with all the art that a cunning mind like hers knows to compensate for the sophisms of ambition4 ,what does it amount to8 ,an absence of two or three years at most4 ,that is some time for a man that you love and who loves you as much as he does4 ,he8 loves me8 ,if he loved me1 would he hesitate to satisfy me8 ,but ,madame1 will you not go with him8 ,me8 ,i will not go2 and as eccentric as he is he has not even suggested it to me4 ,does he have doubts about me8 ,i do not believe so1 not at all4 ,after awaiting him for twelve years1 he can certainly count on my good faith4 ,sir1 it is one of those unique opportunities that only presents itself once in a lifetime2 and ,i do not want the day to come when ,i must have regrets and reproach myself for missing it4 ,tani will have no regrets1 so long as he has the good fortune of pleasing you4 ,that is very decent of you2 but you can be sure that he will be very happy being wealthy when ,i am old4 ,it is a peculiarity of women to never think of the future2 it is not mine444 ,the minister was in ,paris4 ,his hotel was only a foot from rue ,sainte-,marguerite4 ,tani met with him there and was hired4 ,he returned with eyes dry and heart wrung out4 ,madame1 he said to her1 ,i saw ,m4 de ,maurepas2 ,i have given him my word4 ,i will go1 ,i will go4 ,and you will be satisfied4 ,oh6 ,my love6444 ,madame ,reymer drops her line of work1 throws herself on ,tani1 tosses her arms around his neck1 devastates him with kisses and sweet nothings4 ,ah6 ,it is times like these that let me know ,i am dear to you6 ,tani answered her coldly3 ,you want to be rich4 --,she was1 the little minx1 ten times more so than she was worth444 --,and you will be4 ,since it is gold that you love1 you must seek it out4 ,it was ,tuesday1 and the minister had set the date of departure for ,friday without delay4 ,i bid him farewell as he was wrestling with himself1 attempting to wrest himself from the arms of the beautiful1 disgraceful and cruel ,reymer4 ,of such a disorder of ideas1 hopelessness1 agony1 ,i have never seen a second example4 ,this was not a wail2 it was an extended scream4 ,madame ,reymer was still in bed4 ,he held one of her hands4 ,he could not stop saying and repeating3 ,cruel woman6 ,woman cruel6 ,what more do you need than the comfort you enjoy1 and a friend1 a lover such as myself8 ,i have tried to find fortune in the sweltering countries of ,america2 she wants me to seek it out once more in the ice floes of the ,north4 ,my friend1 ,i am aware that this woman is mad2 ,i am aware that ,i am foolish1 but ,i am less afraid of death than ,i am of causing her sadness4 ,you want me to leave you2 ,i will leave you4 ,he was on his knees beside her bed1 mouth glued to her hand and face hidden in the covers1 which1 in stifling his mutterings1 only made them sadder and more dreadful4 ,the bedroom door opened2 his head rose up brusquely2 he saw the coachman who had come to announce that the horses were hitched up4 ,he cried out1 and again hid his face under the covers4 ,after a moments silence1 he rose1 he said to his love1 ,kiss me1 madame4 ,kiss me one more time1 for you will never see me again4 ,his premonition was only too accurate4 ,he departed4 ,he arrived in ,petersburg and1 three days later1 was struck by a fever from which he died on the fourth4 --,i knew all of that4 --,perhaps you were one of ,tanis successors8 --,you got it4 ,and it is with this abominable beauty that ,i ruined my business4 --,poor ,tani6 --,there are some who would call him silly4 --,i will not defend him1 but ,i will wish from the bottom of my heart that their bad luck sends them to a woman as beautiful and duplicitous as ,madame ,reymer4 --,you are cruel in your choice of revenge4 --,moving on1 if there are evil women and good men1 there are also good women and evil men4 ,and this supplement is no more a story#b than the preceding4 --,i am sure4 --,m4 d,hrouville444 --,the one still living8 ,the ,lieutenant ,general of the ,kings army8 ,the one that married that charming creature named ,lolotte#c8 --,the same4 --,a gallant man1 lover of sciences4 --,and of scholars4 ,for a long time he was working on a general history of war in every century and every nation4 --,a staggering project4 --,to complete it he called for the help of some young gentlemen of distinguished merit1 like ,m4 de ,montucla#e1 the author of the ,history of ,mathematics4 --,good lord6 ,he had many men of that caliber8 --,but the one named ,gardeil1 the hero of the adventure that ,i am going to tell to you1 hardly yielded to him4 ,a common passion for the study of ,greek created a bond between ,gardeil and ,i that time1 the reciprocity of guidance1 a taste for seclusion1 and above all the facility with which we saw each other1 made blossom into a rather striking intimacy4 --,so you were still staying at the ,estrapade4 --,he1 ,sainte-,hyacinthe street1 and his lady friend ,mademoiselle de ,la ,chaux1 ,saint-,michel square4 ,i call her by her own name because the poor thing is no more1 because her life can only honor it in every well-made mind and award it the admiration1 the regret and the tears of those that nature will favor or punish with a small portion of the sensibility of her soul4 --,well6 ,your speech is halting1 and ,i believe you are crying4 --,i can still see her big dark eyes1 soft and twinkling1 and the moving sound of her voice resounding in my ears and shaking my heart4 ,charming creature6 ,unique creature6 ,you are no more6 ,you have been no more for nearly twenty years2 and my heart still tightens at the thought of you4 --,you loved her8 --,no4 ,oh ,la ,chaux6 ,oh ,gardeil6 ,you were each a marvel2 you1 for a womans tenderness2 you1 for a mans ingratitude4 ,mademoiselle de ,la ,chaux was an honest woman4 ,she left her parents to throw herself into the arms of ,gardeil4 ,gardeil had nothing1 ,mademoiselle de ,la ,chaux enjoyed considerable wealth1 and this wealth was entirely sacrificed for ,gardeils needs and whims4 ,she regretted neither the dissipation of her fortune nor her blackened reputation4 ,her lover took the place of everything for her4 --,so ,gardeil was a charmer1 amiable8 --,not at all4 ,a small gruff man1 taciturn and caustic2 angular face1 swarthy complexion2 a wholly puny1 thin figure2 ugly1 if a man can be ugly with a face so full of intelligence4 --,and that was what made this charming woman fall head over heals8 --,that surprises you8 --,still4 --,you8 --,me4 --,so you have forgotten your adventure with la ,deschamps and the profound despair into which you fell when this creature closed her doors to you4 --,drop it2 continue4 --,i had said to you1 ,so she is very beautiful8 ,and you answered sadly1 ,no4--,she has a good personality8--,she is foolish4--,so it is her talents that sway you8--,she has but one4--,and this rare1 sublime1 marvelous talent8--,is to make me happier in her arms than ,i have ever been with any other woman4 ,but ,mademoiselle de ,la ,chaux1 the good1 sensible ,mademoiselle de ,la ,chaux1 secretly counted on1 by instinct1 unbeknownst to him1 the good fortune that you once knew1 and which made you say of la ,deschamps3 ,if this unfortunate girl1 if this despicable woman insists on kicking me out1 ,i will grab a gun and blow my brains out in her foyer4 ,you said that1 correct8 --,i said it2 and even now ,i do not know why ,i did not do it4 --,admit it1 then4 --,i will admit to anything if it pleases you4 --,my friend1 the wisest amongst us is much happier not having encountered any woman1 beautiful or ugly1 clever or foolish1 that would drive him mad enough for the ,petites-,maisons4 ,we men complain a great deal1 we criticize them occasionally4 ,we watch the years go by like so many moments1 carried off by the evil that shadows us2 and we only think to cower at the strength of certain natural attractions1 especially those of us with sensitive souls or ardent imaginations4 ,the spark that alights by chance on a powder keg does not produce so terrible an effect4 ,the finger ready to light the fatal spark over you or me is perhaps raised4 ,m4 d,hrouville1 wanting to speed up his project1 greatly overworked his colleagues4 ,gardeils health suffered for it4 ,to lighten his load ,mademoiselle de ,la ,chaux learned ,hebrew1 and while her lover rested she spent a portion of the night translating and transcribing bits of ,hebrew4 ,it came time to tackle the ,greek authors2 ,mademoiselle de ,la ,chaux rushed to perfect her then superficial knowledge of this language3 while ,gardeil slept she was busy translating and copying passages of ,xenophon and ,thucydides4 ,she added ,italian and ,english to her knowledge of ,greek and ,hebrew4 ,her ,english was so good that she could translate ,humes first essays on metaphysics into ,french1 a work whose difficult subject matter added infinitely to the difficulty of the idiom4 ,when study exhausted her resources she amused herself by writing music4 ,when she feared her lover might be overcome with ennui she sang4 ,i am not exaggerating anything1 as can be attested to by ,m4 ,le ,camus1 doctor of medicine1 who consoled her when she was troubled and cared for her when she was in need1 who remained by her side in the attic that her poverty had relegated her to1 and who closed her eyes when she died4 ,but ,i am forgetting one of her first misfortunes3 the persecution that she had to suffer at the hands of a family outraged by the scandalous and public relationship4 ,both truth and lies were employed to dispose of her liberty in a humiliating manner4 ,priests and her parents pursued her from quarter to quarter1 from house to house1 for many years reducing her to a solitary and hidden life4 ,she spent her days working for ,gardeil4 ,we visited her at night1 and in the presence of her lover all her grief1 all her worries vanished4 --,my word6 ,young1 timorous1 tenderhearted in the face of so many difficulties4 ,what a happy being4 --,happy8 ,yes1 she only ceased to be so when ,gardeil was revoltingly ungrateful4 --,but it is not possible for ingratitude to be the reward for so many exceptional qualities1 so many signs of affection1 so many sacrifices of every kind6 --,you are mistaken1 ,gardeil was ungrateful4 ,one day1 ,mademoiselle de ,la ,chaux found herself alone in the world1 without honor1 without support4 ,i assure you1 ,i stayed with her for some time4 ,doctor ,le ,camus stayed with her always4 --,men6 --,who are you talking about8 --,gardeil4 --,you see the villain and you do not see the good man right beside him4 ,that painful and hopeless day she rushed to my quarters4 ,it was morning4 ,she was pale as death4 ,though she had only discovered her predicament the day before she looked like one who had been suffering for a long time4 ,she was not crying1 but one could see that she had cried a lot4 ,she threw herself into an armchair1 she did not speak1 she could not speak1 she held out her arms to me as she cried out4 ,what is it8 ,i asked her4 ,has he died8444 ,it is worse3 he no longer loves me2 he is leaving me444 --,go on then4 --,i do not know if ,i can4 ,i see her1 ,i listen to her1 and my eyes fill with tears4 ,he no longer loves you8444 ,no4 ,he is abandoning you6 ,oh yes6 ,after all that ,i have done6444 ,monsieur1 my mind is troubled2 have pity on me2 do not leave me444 above all else do not leave me444 ,while uttering these words she had hold of my arm4 ,she was squeezing it tightly1 as if near her lay someone who threatened to tear her away and carry her off444 ,have no fear1 mademoiselle4 ,i fear only myself4 ,what do you need8 ,first1 save me from myself444 ,he no longer loves me6 ,i tire him6 ,i annoy him6 ,i bore him6 ,he hates me6 ,he is abandoning me6 ,he is leaving me6 ,he is leaving me6 ,this echoed line was followed by a profound silence1 and following this silence1 convulsive bursts of laughter a thousand times more terrifying than the fits of despair or the groans of agony4 ,next came tears1 cries1 inarticulate words1 gazes turned towards the sky1 trembling lips1 a torrent of pain that one must let run its course1 which ,i did4 ,i only began to address her reasoning when ,i saw that her soul was broken and stunned4 ,so ,i resumed3 ,he hates you1 he is leaving you8 ,and who told you that8 ,he did4 ,come1 mademoiselle1 a little hope and courage4 ,this is no monster444 ,you do not know him2 you will know him4 ,this is a monster like no other1 like none there ever was4 ,i cannot believe that4 ,you will see for yourself4 ,does he love another8 ,no4 ,you have not caused him any suspicion1 any dissatisfaction8 ,none1 none4 ,what is it then8 ,my uselessness4 ,i have nothing left4 ,i am no longer good at anything4 ,his ambition4 ,he has always been ambitious4 ,the loss of my health1 of my beauty1 ,i have suffered so much and am so tired2 boredom1 weariness4 ,we cease to be lovers1 but remain friends4 ,i have become an unbearable object2 my presence weighs on him1 the sight of me troubles and offends him4 ,if you only knew what he said to me6 ,yes1 monsieur1 he told me that if he was condemned to spend twenty-four hours with me he would throw himself from the window4 ,but this aversion is not the work of a moment4 ,what do ,i know8 ,he is by nature so scornful6 so uncaring6 so cold6 ,it is difficult to see into the depths of his heart6 and it is so awful to read his death sentence6 ,he pronounced it to me1 and with such harshness6 ,i cannot imagine anything like that4 ,i have a favor to ask of you1 and that is why ,i came here3 will you grant it to me8 ,anything you ask4 ,listen4 ,he respects you2 you know what he owes me4 ,perhaps he will not be embarrassed to show his true self to you4 ,no1 ,i do not think he would have his guard up4 ,i am only a woman1 and you are a man4 ,a kind1 honest and just man inspires respect4 ,you will inspire respect in him4 ,give me your hands1 do not say no2 accompany me over to his house4 ,i want to speak to him with you there4 ,who knows what effect my pain and your presence will have on him4 ,you will accompany me8 ,willingly4 ,let us go444 --,i am worried that her pain and presence will leave things exactly as they are4 ,contempt6 ,contempt is a terrible thing in a relationship1 and for a woman6444 --,i sent her to seek out a litter1 as she was hardly in a state to walk4 ,we arrive at ,gardeil's1 at this huge new house1 the only one on the right side of ,hyacinthe street when coming from ,saint-,michel square4 ,the porters stop2 they open the doors4 ,i wait4 ,she does not get out4 ,i lean over and ,i see a woman seized with a universal trembling4 ,her teeth were chattering as if from feverish chills1 her knees were hitting together4 ,a moment1 monsieur2 ,i am sorry2 ,i cannot444 what can ,i do here8 ,i will have torn you from your affairs for nothing2 ,i am so sorry2 ,i ask your forgiveness444 ,but ,i held out my hand to her4 ,she took it1 she tried to get up2 she could not4 ,one more moment1 monsieur1 she told me1 ,i am such a bother2 ,i am a burden to you4 ,at last she pulled herself together2 and as she rose from her seat she added softly3 ,we need to go in2 we have to see him4 ,who knows8 ,perhaps ,i will die there444 ,across the courtyard2 at the door of the apartment2 in ,gardeil's office4 ,he was at his desk in his dressing gown and bonnet4 ,he waved hello to me and continued the work he had started4 ,then he came over to me and said3 ,you must admit1 monsieur1 that women are an inconvenience4 ,i apologize a thousand times for the extravagances of mademoiselle4 ,then he addressed himself to the poor creature1 who was more dead than alive4 ,mademoiselle1 he said to her1 what more do you want from me8 ,it seems to me that after explaining myself to you in so clear and precise a manner everything should be settled between us4 ,i told you that ,i no longer loved you1 ,i told you that person to person4 ,apparently your plan is for me to repeat it to you in front of this gentleman4 ,well1 mademoiselle1 ,i do not love you anymore4 ,extinguished in my heart is this feeling of love for you and1 ,i will add if it makes you feel better1 for any women4 ,but tell me why you no longer love me4 ,no idea4 ,all ,i know is that ,i started without knowing why1 that ,i stopped without knowing why1 and that ,i feel it is impossible for this passion to return4 ,it was a childish pursuit of which ,i believe myself to be and congratulate myself for being completely cured4 ,what are my faults8 ,you have none4 ,you have no secret complaint with my behavior8 ,not the least4 ,you have been the most loyal1 decent1 kind woman a man could desire4 ,have ,i overlooked anything it is within my power to do8 ,nothing4 ,have ,i not sacrificed my parents for you8 ,it is true4 ,my fortune4 ,i am sorry for that4 ,my health8 ,that may be4 ,my honor1 my reputation1 my sleep8 ,whatever pleases you4 ,and you find me odious6 ,that is difficult to say1 difficult to hear1 but since it is so1 it has to be admitted4 ,he finds me odious6444 ,i know it1 and do not respect myself any more for it6444 ,odious6 ,oh1 ,god6444 ,at these words a mortal pallor spread across her face2 her lips lost their color2 drops of cold sweat forming on her cheeks mixed with tears descendeding from her eyes2 they were closed2 her head fell on the back of her armchair2 her teeth clenched2 all her limbs were quivering2 the quivering was followed by a fainting spell that seemed due to the apprehension that she had worked up at the door to the house4 ,the duration of this state frightened me4 ,i took her mantelet from her1 ,i loosened the strings of her dress and petticoat and splashed a bit of cold water on her face4 ,her eyes opened halfway2 one could hear a muffled murmuring in her throat4 ,she was trying to say3 ,i am odious to you4 ,she only articulated the last syllables of the phrase1 then issued a piercing cry4 ,her eyelids lowered1 and the fainting spell began again4 ,gardeil1 seated coldly on his armchair1 his elbow resting on the table and head rested on his hand1 watched her without emotion and left it to me to care for her4 ,i told him repeatedly3 ,but1 monsieur1 she is dying444 we have to call for someone4 ,he answered me by smiling and shrugging his shoulders3 ,women lead a hard life4 ,they do not die over such a little thing as this4 ,this will pass4 ,you do not know them very well4 ,their bodies do whatever they want them to do4 ,she is dying1 ,i tell you4 ,her body was as if without strength or life4 ,it slipped away from the top of the armchair1 and she would have fallen to the ground to the left or right had ,i not been holding her4 ,meanwhile ,gardeil rose up brusquely1 and1 pacing his apartment1 said with an impatient and moody tone3 ,i could do without this dismal scene4 ,i do hope this will be the last4 ,who the devil does she bear a grudge against8 ,i loved her2 ,i will smash my head into a brick wall if that is the least bit false4 ,i do not love her anymore1 she knows that now1 or she will never know it4 ,everything has been said444 ,no1 monsieur1 everything has not been said4 ,what8 ,you believe that a good man has only to strip a woman of everything she has and leave her8 ,what do you want me to do8 ,i am begging as much as she is4 ,what do ,i want you to do8 ,to associate your misery with the one that you have reduced her to4 ,you enjoyed saying that4 ,she would be no better for it1 and ,i would be much worse4 ,you would act like this to a friend that has sacrificed everything for you8 ,a friend6 ,a friend6 ,i do not have much faith in friends1 and this experience has taught me to have no passion for them4 ,i am frustrated that ,i did not realize this sooner4 ,and it is right that this unfortunate woman should be the victim of your hearts errors4 ,and what is to say that one month1 a day later1 ,i would not have been just as cruelly the error of hers4 ,what is to say8 ,everything that she has done for you1 and the state that you see her in4 ,what she did for me8444 ,by ,god6 ,he is fully acquitted by the loss of my time4 ,oh1 monsieur ,gardeil1 what a comparison between your time and all the priceless things that you have taken from her6 ,i have done nothing1 ,i am nothing1 ,i am thirty years old1 it is time to think of myself1 now or never1 and to treat all this nonsense like it is worth4 ,meanwhile the poor woman was coming to a little bit4 ,at these last words she regained enough energy3 what did he say about the loss of his time8 ,i learned four languages to ease his workload1 ,i read a thousand volumes1 ,i wrote1 translated1 copied day and night1 ,i exhausted myself1 wore out my eyes1 boiled my blood1 ,i came down with an awful illness from which ,i may never recover4 ,he does not dare tell you the cause of his displeasure1 but you will see4 ,at that instant she pulled out her handkerchief1 withdrew one of her arms from her dress1 bared one of her shoulders1 and1 showing me an erysipelatus mark1 ,the reason for his transformation1 there it is1 she said to me1 there it is1 there is the effect of those sleepless nights4 ,it came one morning with these rolls of parchment4 ,m4 d,hrouville1 he told me1 is very anxious to know what is in these1 this work has to be done by tomorrow1 and it was444 ,at that moment we heard someones steps coming towards the door4 ,it was a servant announcing ,m4 d,hrouvilles arrival4 ,gardeils face went pale4 ,i invited ,mademoiselle de ,la ,chaux to withdraw and tidy herself up444 ,no1 she said4 ,no4 ,i am staying4 ,i want this disgrace uncovered4 ,i will wait for ,m4 d,hrouville4 ,i will speak to him4 ,and what good will that do8 ,none1 she answered me1 you are right4 ,tomorrow you will regret it4 ,leave him his evil deeds2 it is a revenge worthy of you4 ,but is it worthy of him8 ,do you not see that this man here is not444 ,lets go1 monsieur1 let us leave now1 for ,i can neither answer for what ,i would do1 nor for what ,i would say444 ,in the blink of an eye ,mademoiselle de ,la ,chaux had repaired the disorder this scene had made of her clothes and raced from of ,gardeils office4 ,i followed and heard the door slam shut behind her4 ,i later learned that someone had given notice to the porter4 ,i conducted myself to her quarters1 where ,i found ,doctor ,le ,camus waiting for us4 ,the passion that he felt for this young woman differed little from hers for ,gardeil4 ,i recounted our visit to him1 and while ,i spoke the signs of his anger1 pain1 indignation444 --,it was not too difficult to see from his face that your failure did not displease him all that much4 --,it is true4 --,there is man for you4 ,he is no better than that4 --,this rupture was followed by a violent sickness1 during which time the good1 honest1 tender and kind doctor gave her such a treatment he would not have reserved for the noblest woman in ,france4 ,he came three1 four times a day4 ,in spite of the peril he slept in her room on a canvas-strap bed4 ,it is fortunate that this was only a disease of the heart4 --,in returning to us she drifts away from her memories of others4 ,and then she has a pretext to be troubled without indiscretion or constraint4 --,that thought1 otherwise just1 does not apply to ,mademoiselle de ,la ,chaux4 ,during her recovery we sorted out her schedule4 ,she had more than enough spirit1 imagination1 taste and knowledge to be admitted into the ,acadmie des ,inscriptions4 ,she had listened to us wax metaphysical for so long that the most abstract matters had become familiar to her4 ,her first literary endeavor was the translation of ,humes ,essays on ,human ,understanding4 ,i proofread it1 and to tell you the truth she had left me with very little to rectify4 ,this translation was printed in ,holland and was well received by the public4 ,my ,letter on the ,blind and the ,dumb appeared at almost the same time4 ,she raised some very perceptive objections which gave rise to an addition dedicated to her#f4 ,i have done worse things than make this addition4 ,mademoiselle de ,la ,chauxs happiness had been somewhat restored4 ,the doctor cooked for us occasionally and these dinners were not too sorrowful4 ,since ,gardeils estrangement1 ,le ,camus passion had made marvelous strides4 ,one day1 at the table during dessert1 as he was expressing it with all the honesty1 sensitivity and navet of a child1 she said to him1 with a sincerity that pleased me greatly but which will perhaps displease others3 ,doctor1 it would be impossible to heighten the respect ,i have for you4 ,your kindnesses fulfill me1 and ,i would be as gloomy as the monster of ,hyacinthe ,street were ,i not steeped in the fiercest gratitude4 ,you tell me of your passion with such grace and sensitivity that ,i would be1 ,i think1 angry if you were to stop4 ,just the idea of losing your company or of being deprived of your friendship is enough to make me miserable4 ,you are a good man1 if there ever was one4 ,your goodness and sweetness of character is incomparable4 ,i do not believe that a heart can fall into better hands4 ,i appeal to my own from morning till night in your favor1 but appeal in vain to that which does not desire it4 ,i am not making any more progress4 ,meanwhile you will suffer1 and so ,i feel a vicious pain4 ,i do not know anyone more worthy of the happiness that you seek1 and ,i do not know what ,i would not do to make you happy4 ,anything is possible1 without exception4 ,i mean1 doctor1 ,i would444 yes1 ,i would go so far as to sleep444 so far as to include that4 ,do you want to sleep with me8 ,you only have to say so4 ,that is all ,i can do for you4 ,but you want to be loved1 and ,i do not know a way4 ,the doctor listened to her1 took her by the hand and kissed it1 wet it with tears4 ,and ,i1 ,i did not know whether ,i should laugh or cry4 ,mademoiselle de ,la ,chaux knew the doctor well4 ,the next day ,i said to her1 ,but ,mademoiselle1 if the doctor had said the word8 ,she answered1 ,i would have kept my promise1 but that would never have happened2 my offers were not of the sort that would be accepted by a man like him444 ,why not8 ,it seems to me that if ,i were in his position ,i would have simply hoped that the rest would follow4 ,yes1 but if you were in his position1 ,mademoiselle de ,la ,chaux would not have made you the same proposition4 ,the ,hume translation had not made her very much money4 ,the ,dutch will print anything provided they do not pay for it4 --,lucky for us4 ,given all the restrictions we place on thought in our country1 if they even once decided to pay the authors they would bring the entire book industry to their doorstep4 --,we advised her to write a light read1 one that would bring her more profit than respect4 ,she worked for four or five months1 at which point she brought me a short historical fiction entitled ,the ,three ,favorites4 ,it had a deftness of style1 finesse and earnestness1 but - without her having realized it for she was incapable of any malice - it was scattered with a multitude of details applicable to the ,kings mistress1 the ,marquise of ,pompadour2 and ,i did not conceal from her the fact that whatever the sacrifice1 whether it be in softening or removing these sections1 it would be almost impossible for her work to appear without compromising her1 and that the unhappiness of spoiling such a good thing would not guarantee her another4 ,she sensed the truth in my observation and became only more distressed4 ,the good doctor predicted all her needs1 but she accepted his charity with all the more reservation1 as she felt herself less disposed to the sort of gratitude that he hoped to receive from her4 ,besides1 the doctor#g was not wealthy then1 and he was not particularly in a position to become wealthy4 ,from time to time she took her manuscript from its folder and said to me sadly1 ,well6 ,there is no way to make anything of this4 ,it will have to remain there4 ,i gave her some singular advice3 send the work as is1 without toning it down or altering it1 to ,madame de ,pompadour herself1 with a postscript explaining the delivery4 ,this idea pleased her4 ,she wrote a charming letter on all counts1 but most importantly with a tone of sincerity to which it would be impossible to say no4 ,two or three months passed with no word and she had deemed the attempt fruitless1 until a ,saint-,louis cross came to her home with a letter from the marquise4 ,the work was given the praise it merited1 she was thanked for her sacrifice1 a market was acknowledged1 no offense was taken1 and the author was invited to come to ,versailles1 where she would find a gracious woman disposed to give the help that depended on her4 ,as he was leaving ,mademoiselle de ,la ,chauxs home the envoy left a roll of fifty louis smoothly on her mantelpiece4 ,the doctor and ,i urged her to take advantage of ,madame de ,pompadours good will1 but we were working with a girl whose modesty and shyness matched her merit4 ,how to present oneself there in rags8 ,the doctor raised this concern immediately4 ,after clothing there were other excuses1 and then still more4 ,the voyage to ,versailles was deferred from day to day until it was almost inappropriate to go through with it4 ,it had already been some time since we had spoken to her about it when the same emissary returned with a second letter filled with the kindest reproaches and another bonus offered with the same gentleness as the first4 ,this generous act of ,madame de ,pompadour has never been discovered4 ,i spoke of it to ,m4 ,collin1 her confidant and distributor of her secret favors4 ,he had not heard of it1 and ,i like to think that it is not the only one that her tomb contains4 ,it was thus that ,mademoiselle de ,la ,chaux twice missed the opportunity to pull herself from poverty4 ,she later moved to the outskirts of the city1 and ,i entirely lost track of her4 ,from what ,i have learned of the remainder of her life1 she had become nothing but a fabric of grief1 infirmity and misery4 ,the doors of her family were obstinately closed to her4 ,in vain she solicited the intercession of the saintly folk that had persecuted her with so much zeal4 --,according to custom4 --,the doctor did not abandon her4 ,she died on straw1 in an attic1 while the little tiger on ,hyacinthe street1 the only lover that she had had1 practiced medicine in ,montpellier or ,toulouse1 and in the greatest comfort enjoyed his well-deserved reputation as a clever man1 and his usurped reputation as a decent man4 --,but this is still more or less according to custom4 ,if there is a good and honest ,tani1 ,providence sends him to a ,reymer4 ,if there is a good and honest ,la ,chaux1 she will come to be shared by a ,gardeil#h1 so that everything happens for the best4 ,one might answer that it is rash to make so definitive a pronouncement on the character of a man based on a single act2 that a rule so severe would reduce the number of good men on earth to less than the ,christian ,gospel admits as elect in heaven2 that one can be fickle in love1 even claim little devotion to women without being deprived of honor or probity2 that one is in control neither of suppressing a passion that flares up1 nor of prolonging one that is ending2 that there are already enough men in the streets and houses that are fully worthy of the name scoundrel without inventing imaginary crimes that multiply them to infinity4 ,one might ask whether ,i have not betrayed1 or deceived1 or abandoned a woman without mentioning it4 ,if ,i desired to respond to these questions my answers would not linger without retort1 and it would be a dispute that would last till judgment day4 ,but lay hands on your conscience1 and tell me1 you1 ,sir ,apologist of the ,unfaithful and the ,deceivers1 if you would take the doctor from ,toulouse as your friend8444 ,you hesitate8 ,everything is said1 and ,i hereupon ask ,god to take under ,his holy protection every woman to whom it will take your fancy to pay your respects4 ,,endnotes ,transcribers note3 ,the notations 7,n47 and 7,,br47 designate footnotes taken from the ,naigeon and ,brire editions1 respectively4 ,the endnotes by ,asszat are unmarked4 #a ,in #agdi1 ,m4 de ,maurepas1 still ,secretary of the ,navy1 wrote ,louis ,,xv a report in which he developed a strategy for opening trade relations with the ,english colonies through inland ,canada4 ,this plan was thereafter adopted1 and ,maurepas saw it executed before his death4 7,,br47 #b ,this word alone would suffice to make the reader lose all confidence in the account that follows it1 and yet it is literally true4 ,diderot adds nothing either to the events or to the temperaments of the characters he introduces4 ,mademoiselle de ,la ,chauxs passion for ,gardeil1 the monstrous ingratitude of her lover1 the details of her meeting with him1 of their conversation in ,diderots presence1 who had accompanied her to the house of this ferocious beast4 ,the hopelessness touching this betrayed woman1 abandoned by him for which she had sacrificed her sleep1 her fortune1 her reputation1 her health1 and even the charms by which she seduced him3 all this is of the greatest exactness4 ,as ,diderot knew the actors in this drama particularly well1 for the facts he had been witness to or the friendship that had entrusted him with them were still recent when he resolved to record them1 his imagination had not had the time to alter them by adding or subtracting some circumstance to produce a greater effect4 ,and here again is one of the fairly rare accounts of his life1 where he says only what has seen1 and has seen only what was4 ,as for the curious particularities that he recorded from ,mademoiselle de ,la ,chaux and that he documented in his writing1 ,i will add only a single fact - that he omitted through forgetfulness and that was worthy of being conserved - that this so tender1 so passionate1 so interesting by her extreme sensibility and by her misfortunes1 above all so worthy of a better fate1 had also been friends with ,d,alembert and the ,abbot de ,condillac4 ,she was in a position to hear and assess the works of these two philosophers4 ,she had even given the latter1 whos ,essay on the ,origin of ,human ,knowledge she had read1 the very wise advice of returning to his first thoughts1 and1 if ,i may use the expression1 to begin at the beginning1 i4e41 the reject with ,hobbes the absurd hypothesis of a distinction between two substances in man4 ,i dare say that this very philosophical view1 this sole idea of ,mademoiselle de ,la ,chaux suggests more breadth1 depth and accuracy in her mind that the whole of ,condillacs metaphysics1 in which there is in effect a radical and destructive vice that affects the entire system1 and yields more or less vague and uncertain results4 ,one sees that ,mademoiselle de ,la ,chaux sensed this2 and one regrets that ,condillac1 more docile to the judicious advice of this enlightened woman with uncommon insight1 did not follow the route that she pointed him towards4 ,he would not have scattered so many errors over the one he decided upon1 and upon which one can only run astray1 as happens daily to those that take him as their guide4 ,see1 on this philosopher1 the preliminary reflections that serve as an introduction to his article1 in the ,,methodical ,,encyclopedia1 ,dictionary of ,ancient and ,modern ,philosophy1 t4 ,,ii1 and what ,i have again in my ,historical and ,philosophical ,memoires on the life and work of ,diderot4 7,n47 #c ,antoine de ,ricouart1 count of ,hrouville1 born in ,paris in #agac1 is the author of ,treatise on the ,legions1 which carries the name of the marshal of ,saxony #d1 ,paris1 #ageg4 ,he furnished the authors of the ,encyclopdie with some curious dissertations4 ,it was hoped that they be sent to the minister under ,louis ,,xv1 but an unequal marriage excluded it4 ,he died in #aghb4 7,,br47 #d ,only in the first three editions4 ,the work had been first printed on a copy communicated to the marshal and was found in his papers4 #e ,montucla was only thirty years old when he published his ,history of ,mathematics1 ,paris1 #ageh4 ,it was reviewed and finished by ,lalande1 ,paris1 #agii-ahjb4 7,br47 #f ,see t4 #a1 p4 #cii4 #g ,le ,camus 7,antoine71 who left behind other memories of charity4 ,we owe to him a large number of works of literature and of medicine4 ,we will here cite only3 ,the ,medicine of the ,mind1 ,paris1 #agec4 ,strategy for ,wiping ,out ,smallpox1 #agfg4 ,practical ,medicine ,made ,simpler1 ,more ,reliable and ,more ,methodical1 #agfi4 ,numerous memoirs on different subjects of medicine4 ,abdker1 or the ,art of ,conserving ,beauty1 #aged-agef4 ,love and ,friendship1 comedy1 #agfc4 ,the ,pastoral ,romance of ,daphnis and ,chloe1 translated from ,longus ,greek by ,amyot1 with a double translation1 ,paris1 #ageg4 ,this new translation by ,le ,camus is still worth reading after the one just published by ,m4 ,courier in ,sainte-,plagie1 where he was detained for a work commissioned by the estate of ,chambord4 ,paris1 #ahba4 7,,br47 #h ,gardeil died on ,april #ai1 #ahjh1 at the age of #hb4 ,we have from him a ,translation of ,hippocrates ,medical ,works1 from the ,greek text according to the ,fos edition1 ,toulouse1 #ahja4 7,br47--,he ,practiced in ,montpellier4