,note3 ,images of the original pages are available through ,internet ,archive_/,canadian ,libraries4 ,see http3_/_/www4archive4org_/details_/shell eyandthema#jjtodhuoft ,,shelley ,,and ,,marriage4 ,of this ,book ,twenty-,five ,copies only have been printed4 ,,shelley ,,and ,,the ,,marriage ,,question4 by ,,john ,,todhunter1 ,m4,d41 ,author of ,notes on ,the ,triumph of ,life1 ,a ,study of ,shelley1 etc4 ,london3 ,printed for ,private ,circulation ,only4 #ahhi4 ,,shelley ,,and ,,the ,,marriage ,,question4 ,now that marriage1 like most other time-honoured institutions1 has come to stand1 a thing accused1 at the bar of public opinion1 it may be interesting to see what ,shelley has to say about it4 ,the marriage problem is a complex one1 involving many questions not very easy to answer offhand or even after much consideration4 ,what is marriage8 ,of divine or human institution8 ,for what ends was it instituted8 ,how far does it attain these ends8 ,and a dozen others involved in these4 ,the very idea of marriage implies some kind of bond imposed by society upon the sexual relations of its members1 male and female2 some kind of restriction upon the absolute promiscuity and absolute instability of these relations--such restriction taking the form of a contract between individuals1 endorsed by society1 and enforced with more or less stringency by public opinion4 ,its object at first was probably simply to ensure to each male member of the tribe the quiet enjoyment of his wife or wives1 and the free exploitation of the children she or they produced4 ,the patriarchal tyranny was established1 and through the sanction of primitive religion and law became a divine institution4 ,then1 as civilization progressed1 the wife and children became less and less the mere slaves1 more and more the respected subjects1 of the patriarch4 ,the paternal instinct 7like the maternal7 became developed1 and family affection came into existence4 ,at present the whirligig of time is bringing its revenges4 ,the patriarchal tyranny begins to totter2 parents are often more the slaves than the masters of their children4 ,and even wives begin to rebel against wifedom1 and threaten to revolutionize marriage in their own interest4 ,woman1 like everybody else1 is beginning to strike for higher wages4 ,there are more than the first mutterings of that revolution in the ,golden ,city of ,divine institutions prophesied of by ,shelley in ,laon and ,cythna4 ,there are a good many ,cythnas ready to rush about on their black ,tartarian hobbies1 of whom ,mrs4 ,mona ,caird is the one who has recently made most noise4 ,there is a little design of ,blake's in ,the ,gates of ,paradise1 which represents a man standing on the earth who leans a ladder against the moon and prepares to mount2 the motto underneath being3 ,i want6 ,i want6 ,this is a type of our own age4 ,never was such an age of discontent1 never such a ,babel of voices crying3 ,i want6 ,i want6 ,we have become very conscious of our pain1 and are not ashamed to cry out and proclaim it on the house-tops in these hysterical times--simply because the ancient sanctions and anodynes have lost their sanctity and comfort for us4 ,the very priests in black gowns who used to walk their rounds and bind with briers our joys and desires1 have been themselves corrupted with a longing for a little present happiness1 and that ,old ,woman in the shoe1 ,mrs4 ,grundy herself1 instead of whipping us all round and putting us to bed in the old summary fashion1 when we venture to complain that the shoe pinches here and there1 has herself become lachrymose4 ,we cry out because1 having neither the old repressions nor the old opiates to restrain us1 there is no valid reason why we should hold our tongues4 ,by crying loud enough and long enough we may get some help4 ,we may even find some good-natured person to stop crying himself and help us2 and then for very shame we may go and do likewise4 ,in this lies the age's hope4 ,it is really in its best aspect an unselfish age1 an age in which sympathy and justice are vital forces1 in which the miseries of others are felt as our own4 ,there are thousands now who feel themselves as nerves o'er which do creep the else unfelt oppressions of the earth4 ,we are not wise enough yet to conceive and organize those vital adjustments between conflicting wants1 interests1 and principles1 which shall be of deeper efficiency than mere superficial compromises2 but this wisdom will come in due time1 if we do not rush into anarchy through that licentious impatience which is the curse of revolutionary periods4 ,now1 of all the bitter cries ringing in the air at the present time1 about the bitterest and most persistent is that not merely of women1 but of woman with a capital ,w4 ,it is the most appalling note of change that can pierce the ear of self-satisfied ,conservatism4 ,the patient ,griselda has begun to protest against the tyranny of her lord and master4 ,love's martyr has at last begun to think that her martyrdom must have its limits4 ,it is as if the ,lamb1 whose function we thought was to be dumb before its shearers and even sacrificers1 had found a voice of protestation4 ,it is a portent4 ,and even men are constrained to listen to the cry2 for it sounds like the birth-cry of regenerated ,love4 ,not now ,love self-slain in some sweet shameful way1 but ,love the winged angel who shall finally cast out ,lust1 the adversary4 ,but many things must come to pass before this triumph of love can be brought about2 and in many respects the horoscope looks unpropitious enough4 ,the first effect of the birth1 or coming to the surface of a higher ideal1 gradually evolved by the progress of society1 is apparently to make confusion worse confounded4 ,not peace but a sword is the first gift of the ,prince of ,peace4 ,liberty comes masked like ,tyranny1 and cries ,fraternity or death6 ,love goes wantonly about with the ,maenads of licentiousness at his heels4 ,but the divine ,logos1 incarnate as the ,son of man1 always comes not to destroy but to fulfil4 ,just now that highly moral being1 ,man in the masculine gender1 is much shocked at the strangely immoral conduct of his feminine counterpart4 ,in the first place1 she has dared to look at the realities of things with her own eyes1 not through the rose-coloured spectacles with which he has been at pains to provide her2 and not only that1 but to peep behind the sacred veil which man has modestly cast over many ugly things4 ,secondly1 she has begun to talk openly about these ugly things1 and to call them by non-euphemistic1 ugly names1 in a manner quite unprecedented4 ,thirdly1 she has dared to attempt her own solution of things insoluble1 her own achievement of things impossible4 ,and fourthly1 she has dared to formulate a demand for liberty1 equality1 fraternity on her own account--a demand which every day comes more and more within the sphere of practical politics4 ,here are pure women making common cause with prostitutes1 married women crying out against the holy institution of matrimony1 mothers rebelling against the tyranny of the beatific baby--nay1 absolutely on strike against child-bearing1 or at least demanding limited liability as regards that important function4 ,finally1 here is ,woman1 whether as virgin1 wife1 or widow1 demanding independence as to property and a fair share of the world's goods in return for a fair share of the general work of the world outside of her special womanly functions4 ,d----n it1 sir1 ,i say that women are unsexing themselves--unsexing themselves1 by ,jove6 as ,major ,pendennis might exclaim4 ,and the worst of it is that there are so many men1 traitors to their sex1 who are casting in their lot with women in this terrible ,women's ,rights movement--unsexing themselves1 too1 no doubt--so that we shall all soon become either a-sexual or hermaphrodite beings6 ,and here let us leave for a moment the more or less limited and prosaic ,cythnas of the day1 the terrible women who ride about upon ,tartarian hobby-horses in novels and magazine articles1 who spout on platforms and practise medicine and other dreadful trades--the scientific ,mrs4 ,somervilles1 and medical ,mrs4 ,garrett ,andersons1 and pious ,mrs4 ,josephine ,butlers1 and impious ,mrs4 ,mona ,cairds1 and get back to ,shelley himself1 the poet of this shocking social aberration4 ,shelley1 as ,mr4 ,cordy ,jeafferson has taken great pains to demonstrate1 was an exceedingly immoral young man4 ,he outraged the conventional morality of his day by his actions as well as in his writings in the most shameless manner2 but this shamelessness was due to his intense conviction that he thus outraged conventional in the interests of ideal morality4 ,his life and writings are so full of the paradoxical character which ,i have ascribed to the social agitation of the present day1 and some of his utterances are so prophetic of it1 that we may fairly regard him as its precursor4 ,shelley1 as we know1 started rather as an anarchist than as a mere reformer4 ,his ideas were cataclysmal rather than evolutional4 ,but he was an optimistic not a pessimistic anarchist1 and he endeavoured to destroy in order to rebuild with all possible expedition4 ,the kingdom of heaven was1 for him1 at the very doors1 ready to take shape as soon as man willed it2 and man would will it as soon as the mind-forged fetters of his mind were loosed4 ,accordingly he endeavoured to loose them4 ,he dethroned ,god that the ,spirit of ,nature might be enthroned2 and then he proceeded to abolish marriage that free love might regenerate mankind4 ,he believed in regeneration by incantation--a few words murmured in men's ears would make them as obedient to the ideas those sacred words represented as spirits to the spells of a magician4 ,abolish marriage 7and what could be easier871 and love1 being set free1 prostitution would cease4 ,we may pass by such puerilities of inexperienced idealism1 to be found by the score in ,queen ,mab1 and pass on to ,shelley's more mature utterances1 always remembering that he died1 as the ,triumph of ,life shows1 in the very process of maturation4 ,his whole history is that of an idealist1 who first seeks his ideal in the actual1 and not finding it endeavours to bring the actual into harmony with his ideal4 ,his imagination hacks at the rude block of the world with the divine fury of a ,pygmalion2 thinking at first that he has but to remove the dull superfluous husks of custom to find the living idea in the centre2 but gradually perceiving it was but created an inanimate image1 which can only come to life by the invocation of ,venus ,urania4 ,all the weaknesses1 faults1 and follies of his life and his writings1 as well as that power in weakness veiled which he felt himself to be1 come from this4 ,he is driven to reform society by attacking the conventional morality of marriage1 because he is first a transcendental lover2 just as ,mr4 ,william ,morris is driven into socialism1 because he is first a very practical decorative artist4 ,to speak irreverently1 both men want elbow-room for their fads4 ,but ,shelley's fad is of even more importance to us than ,morris's4 ,it is better to have a beautiful love1 than to have a beautiful house to put him in4 ,shelley is1 above all things1 the poet of modern love4 ,dante's love1 fantastic and supersensuous1 was not modern love4 ,we do not want angels1 either in heaven or in the house1 to condescend to our depravity and lead us upward4 ,we do not want the divine school-mistress to bring us to something not ourselves which may or may not make for righteousness1 but the divine mistress1 passionate as well as pure1 to bring us to our best selves1 and live with us in perfect union4 ,shakespeare showed us glimpses of this love defeated by circumstances in ,romeo and ,juliet1 triumphant over circumstances in ,posthumus and ,imogen2 but ,shelley has had a fuller vision of it4 ,since ,shakespeare's time both manhood and womanhood1 and especially womanhood1 have by pressure of circumstances become more self-conscious1 and the conditions of their union through love more complex4 ,and what is this modern ideal of love1 of which ,shelley is the exponent8 ,what is this strange affection1 love1 whether ancient or modern8 ,it is that most paradoxical of passions1 that compound of selfishness and self-renunciation1 that forlorn desire which strives to reconcile all things1 and found an eternal home on the shifting sands of time1 of which we all know something4 ,blake has expressed this paradoxical character of love once for all in his little poem ,the ,clod and the ,pebble4 ,love seeketh not itself to please1 ,nor for itself hath any care1 ,but for another gives its ease1 ,and builds a heaven in hell's despair4 ,love seeketh only self to please1 ,to bind another to its delight1 ,joys in another's loss of ease1 ,and builds a hell in heaven's despite4 ,we may call these the masculine and feminine elements in love2 though of course both exist in all love1 whether of man to woman or woman to man4 ,both sexes give more than they receive1 and receive more than they give4 ,in all love1 from the first step beyond mere physical appetite1 to the most transcendental ,platonism1 there are these two antagonistic elements4 ,if the merely self-indulgent element prevails1 we tend in the direction of lust1 one of the most cruel diseases that plague humanity1 which ,milton rightly places hard by hate4 ,if the merely self-renouncing1 we tend in the direction of monastic chastity1 which though not so distinctly an evil thing1 may become cruel and inhuman1 and a bar to human progress4 ,asceticism is not1 like lust1 a disease1 physical and spiritual1 but it may lead to disease1 spiritual if not physical4 ,there is an asceticism1 the ,greek ,greek3 aschesis1 a training of the lower faculties to act in subordination to the higher1 which is the strait gate by which we enter upon the arduous ascent toward noble passion and noble action4 ,there is another asceticism which if not truly ,christian1 came in the wake of ,christianity1 which1 denying the rights of the body1 was less a training than a mortification4 ,both unrestrained sensuality and monastic chastity1 in their injustice to the body outrage the sexual principle1 the former by regarding it as a toy to be polluted by base pleasure1 the latter by regarding it as a thing unclean in itself to be cast out and killed1 or at best tolerated and cleansed by the ,church's holy water4 ,to the present day the average man's1 or at least the average ,englishman's great temptation is to sin against love1 through dull unimaginative lust1 the average ,englishwoman's through dull unimaginative chastity4 ,men live too much in the sensuous1 and women in the supersensuous1 to meet fairly4 ,love1 the reconciler1 himself is too weak fully to reconcile them and to bring them together in that perfect ecstasy1 body to body1 spirit to spirit1 soul to soul1 that unreserve of mingled being1 which ,shelley1 giving a voice to the desire of all ages1 but especially to modern desire1 sighed for4 ,to understand ,shelley's protest against marriage1 we must understand his ideal of love--the unconstrained rush together of two personalities of opposite sexes1 in whom the body is but the vehicle of the spirit4 ,this love is not born merely of the flickering fire of the senses4 ,it is a divine flame1 kindled alike in body1 soul1 and spirit1 and fusing them into unity4 ,of course1 if this love is to be the great end of life1 marriage is somewhat of an impertinence4 ,while the divine fire burns1 what need of artificial ties to keep the two lovers together8 ,if it goes out why should they be kept together8 ,to which the prosaic moralist replies3 ,your ideal of love is very beautiful1 no doubt4 ,get as much as you can of this divine flame into your ,hymen's torch2 and after all1 every young couple start with some such high-flown notions in their heads2 but ,i must have some guarantee that your wife and children are not left as burdens upon the parish1 when you begin to feel the pinch of real life1 and the glamour of your imagination fades from your 'divine mistress4' ,marriage was not ordained to be the paradise of ideal love1 but for the sober discipline of the affections of men and women1 and above all for the production and rearing up of good citizens of the commonwealth4 ,to judge by your own writings1 ,mr4 ,shelley1 you seem to have been running after a will-o'-the-wisp all your life in this ideal love4 ,and if you did not catch it1 is it likely that ,tom1 ,dick1 and ,harry will8 ,in any case the pursuit of it seems just as likely to make inconstant lovers as that sensuality you affect to look down upon4 ,you always had the word 'for ever' on your tongue2 but how long did your for evers last8 ,no1 no1 my dear sir1 the good of society demands fidelity to incurred responsibilities1 and we find by practical experience that both men and women1 but especially men1 are inclined to shirk the responsibilities which indulgence of the sexual passion brings in its train4 ,hence the marriage contract4 ,it does not concern itself primarily with either love or lovers1 but it helps to keep husbands and wives together1 and women and children maintained decently without coming upon the rates4 ,and1 mind you1 it does not by any means leave love out in the cold4 ,it may not rise to your transcendental ecstasy2 but it is love all the same1 good honest domestic affection1 when your young couples get well broken to harness4 ,did you not say yourself that one might as well go to a gin-shop for a leg of mutton as to you for anything human8 ,well1 give me the wholesome leg of mutton--none of your gin for me4 ,egad1 sir1 when ,i see some honest couple going to church of a ,sunday morning1 with half-a-dozen pretty children about them1 ,i call that a poem--ay1 and a better poem1 ,mr4 ,shelley1 than all the fantastic ,epipsychidions you ever put upon paper4 ,hang it all1 sir1 let a man make love to his own wife1 and stick to her when he has got her4 ,i'm a plain man1 sir1 but ,i hope a moral man1 and them's my sentiments4 ,to all which1 let ,shelley reply as best he may4 ,the fact is that he has given no satisfactory reply1 simply because it was only just before his death that he realised the complexity of the problem of life4 ,he did1 however1 see clearly that the bringing of men and women into more complete harmony1 by raising the ideal of love1 was the most important step towards that renewal of the world1 that living of the most perfect life attainable by man1 for which he sighed and after which he strove2 and he saw clearly that our solution of the marriage problem was imperfect1 not merely in practice1 but to some extent in theory4 ,as regards the subjection of women1 he seems to have considered this wholly an artificial product of religious dogma1 and not1 as it is1 the natural result of an imperfect civilization4 ,man protects woman because1 on the whole1 she adds to his comfort4 ,protection implies subjection1 and subjection to a tyrant is slavery2 and man1 if not altogether a tyrant in these later times1 has always the temptation to become one1 and the tyrannical traditions of bygone times have a strong tendency to persist4 ,laws and even customs lag far behind the highest public opinion of the day4 ,now1 men being in possession of the capital of the world1 the material means of life1 women stand to them in the position of what the socialists call wage-slaves4 ,they must do what their employers require of them on pain of starvation1 and there is no true freedom of contract4 ,and so far men have almost without exception required of them concubinage or menial service1 or a mixture of both4 ,english marriage1 while recognizing the existing fact of the subjection of women1 has done something to raise their status1 chiefly by making the bond between the contracting parties theoretically1 and to a great extent practically1 one of love and mutual service4 ,it has indeed been much more than ,shelley seems to have realized1 the nidus of a love pure and wholesome1 if not very passionate4 ,theoretically strictly monogamic1 it has been so practically to a very respectable extent4 ,it has put a perceptible curb upon the strong polygamous instinct of men1 and it has fostered the monogamous habit in women enormously4 ,english women are for the most part faithful wives4 ,even transitory prostitution does not kill the monogamous propensity in them4 ,they settle down into marriage1 or live faithfully with one man1 if they get the chance4 ,still1 ,englishwomen are not satisfied with marriage as it exists4 ,let us hear ,mrs4 ,mona ,caird on the subject4 ,she is much more prosaic than ,shelley2 she looks at the subject1 chiefly from the standpoint of practical comfort4 ,she sees that from this standpoint1 from various reasons1 which may be summed up in the phrase incompatibility of temper1 marriage does not induce even that amount of mutual toleration1 not to say happiness1 without which it is impossible for man and wife to live decently together4 ,she therefore asks1 ,what good purpose is served by keeping two people together who are evidently unfit to live together8 ,why indeed8 if1 as ,mrs4 ,caird says1 ,the matter is one in which any interposition1 whether of law or society1 is an impertinence4 ,but1 unfortunately1 law and society are the most impertinent things in the world1 always binding with briers our joys and desires1 and poking their ugly noses into our private affairs in the interests of the ,british ratepayer4 ,we shall never be happy until we have got rid of them--if even then1 and it is quite impossible to get rid of them for some time to come4 ,now the ,british ratepayer cares nothing about women and children1 except in so far as there is a danger of their coming upon the rates4 ,and he is a little scared about giving greater liberty of divorce1 saving for the cause of adultery1 as he piously ejaculates4 ,he does not like stray women and children going about the world4 ,but after all1 adultery is only a particular1 perhaps even a minor1 case of incompatibility4 ,marriage was made for man1 and not man for marriage1 and although marriage may work well in nine cases out of ten1 the tenth case must be considered1 and relief given if possible4 ,the individual is right to demand relief1 and the mode of giving relief is a question for the legislator4 ,greater facility of divorce must come1 and will come1 now that both men and women demand it4 ,mrs4 ,caird's demand for greater laxity of the marriage bond ab initio1 the nature of the contract being left to the contracting parties1 like a marriage settlement1 is quite outside the sphere of practical politics1 as she is herself quite aware4 ,if men were but educated up to the ,shelleyan ideal1 then we might try all sorts of delightful experiments in marriage1 and gradually arrive at absolute freedom of contract1 which would not mean that absolutely unsentimental hygienic promiscuity which is the ideal of the highly advanced physiologist4 ,but men are not yet harmonious creatures1 like ,wordsworth's cloud1 which moveth altogether if it move at all4 ,they are torn by their lusts which war in their members4 ,hence these bonds4 ,lust1 lust1 lust3 this is the most concentrated form of selfishness--the undying worm at the root of the ,tree of ,life4 ,this is the tyrant that women have at last begun to recognize as their deadly adversary and to fight against4 ,shelley1 a better physician than ,goethe1 laid his finger on this plague-spot1 and told the age plainly3 ,thou ailest here4 ,but he did not see that instead of saying1 ,abolish marriage and prostitution will cease1 he ought to have said1 ,abolish prostitution and marriage will cease--marriage without love being only a particular form of prostitution4 ,he did not see that the abolition of marriage would no more get rid of lust than the abolition of private property would get rid of selfishness4 ,we have already1 in monogamic marriage1 struggled painfully upward to the level of the higher animals2 let us not imperil this progress rashly4 ,the ,cythnas of the present day have felt their burthens more directly than ,shelley did4 ,hence their demand for economic independence1 that they may not be forced into marriage or prostitution by the various degrees of starvation4 ,their demand is a just one1 and must be satisfied somehow1 even if we have to put a bonus upon womanhood and pay women1 not merely fair wages for their work of all kinds1 but a tribute to them as women1 as potential mothers1 which shall fairly handicap the sexes in the struggle for existence1 and put men more on their good behaviour4 ,shelley1 the mystic1 who looked for a miraculous change in nature coincident with a miraculous change in man1 seems to have seen1 almost as little as the average socialist of the present day1 who believes in the spiritual efficacy of a purely material revolution1 that the ideals and interests of the two sexes are widely apart1 more so now than ever before probably4 ,he1 like the socialist1 in his impatience to arrive at a practical solution of the life-problem1 did not take the trouble to understand the true bearing of the doctrine of ,malthus4 ,he did not see that whether ,malthus's figures be right or wrong1 it is a fact that the population of any given district 7be it an ,english barony1 or the world itself7 tends to increase up to the limits of its food-supply1 taking the word food in its very widest sense to signify all the means of well-being2 and that this tendency is a fundamental element in all social problems1 just as friction is in all mechanical problems4 ,he did not see that1 other things being the same1 a higher standard of comfort1 while1 finally tending to diminish the rate of increase of population1 first increases its pressure4 ,he did not contemplate that strike against child-bearing on the part of women1 which is induced1 not merely by the desire for personal comfort1 but is largely due to the vague influence of those new ideals of which he was himself the prophet4 ,he1 like the socialist1 thought that we might go on increasing and multiplying ad libitum1 till we reached the ultimate limit of standing-room on the earth1 and of miraculous chemical food out of the air1 and began1 as astral bodies1 to emigrate to ,mars4 ,women know better than this2 and feel the pinch of population1 when what they just now consider their higher life is hampered by children4 ,the woman who has one child more than she wants is an over-populated woman2 and the advanced woman of the present day1 having her own higher culture1 and the culture of humanity1 on the brain1 possibly with a high ideal of the duties of maternity1 and frequently a sickly and weary creature1 morbid in body and mind1 is very easily over-populated4 ,hence much social discomfort4 ,shelley does not seem to have contemplated this1 nor seen that the good-natured acceptance of the feminine ideal by man might lead him1 like poor ,st4 ,peter in his old age1 whither he would not4 ,how all this is going to end ,i confess ,i don't know4 ,i trust in more delicate adjustments1 a higher and more wholesome life all round2 but the ascent of man is always a painful process4 ,meanwhile it is quite time for this bald1 disjointed chat of mine to come to an end4 ,london3 ,printed by ,richard ,clay ,sons1 ,limited1 ,bread ,street ,hill4 ,september1 #ahhi4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,transcriber's note3 ,text in italics is enclosed by underscores 7italics74 ,the original text includes ,greek characters4 ,for this text version these letters have been replaced with transliterations4 ,the misprint tempation has been corrected to temptation 7page #ae74