,transcriber's ,note3 - ,eighteen pages of advertising and reviews have been shifted to the end of the main body4 - ,bold formatting is represented using the following convention3 bold words - ,in general1 spelling1 hyphenation1 and capitalization have been retained as in the original publication4 - ,minor typographical errors have been corrected without note4 - ,significant typographical errors have been corrected4 ,a full list of these corrections is in the ,transcriber's ,corrections section at the end of the book4 99 99 99 99 99 ,illustration3 ,,sylvanus ,,stall1 ,d4,d4 ,,price #a4jj ,,net #d,s4 ,,net ,,purity ,,and ,,truth ,,what ,a ,,young ,,husband ,,ought ,,to ,,know ,,by ,,sylvanus ,,stall1 ,d4,d4 ,author of ,what a ,young ,boy ,ought to ,know1 ,what a ,young ,man ,ought to ,know1 ,what a ,man of #de ,ought to ,know1 ,methods of ,church ,work1 ,five-,minute ,object ,sermons to ,children1 ,talks to the ,king's ,children1 ,faces ,toward the ,light1 etc4 ,the ,glory of ,young ,men is ,their ,strength4 ,,philadelphia1 ,,pa43 #bbcg ,,land ,,title ,,building4 ,,the ,,vir ,,publishing ,,company ,,london3 ,,toronto3 #g1 ,,imperial ,,arcade1 ,,wm4 ,,briggs1 ,,ludgate ,,circus1 ,e4,c4 #cc ,,richmond ,,st1 ,,west4 ,,copyright1 #ahig1 ,,by ,,sylvanus ,,stall ,entered at ,stationers' ,hall1 ,london1 ,england ,protected by ,international copyright in ,great ,britain and all her colonies1 and1 under the provisions of the ,berne ,convention1 in ,belgium1 ,france1 ,germany1 ,italy1 ,spain1 ,switzerland1 ,tunis1 ,hayti1 ,luxembourg1 ,monaco1 ,montenegro1 and ,norway ,all rights reserved ,,printed ,,in ,,the ,,united ,,states ,dedicated ,,to ,,the ,,sanctity ,,of ,,home1 ,,the ,,purity ,,and ,,blessing ,,of ,,the ,,husband ,,and ,,wife1 ,,and ,,the ,,well-,,being ,,of ,,their ,,offspring4 ,,contents4 ,,part ,i4 ,,concerning ,,himself4 ,,chapter ,i4 ,,the ,,relation ,,of ,,marriage4 ,,page ,the new relation full of new meaning4--,lifted into a higher realm4--,love transforms the nature4--,marriage the estate of man's highest happiness4--,the awakening of reproductive life in field and forest4--,these powers may be held in abeyance4--,they also have their proper exercise4--,reason to rule over passion4--,the need of a strong emotional nature in men and in women4--,sexual nature should not be immolated4--,vice and lust cannot bring happiness4--,the sensual usurper must be deposed and love enthroned4--,this our effort and our justification1 #be ,,chapter ,,ii4 ,,differences ,,of ,,sex4 ,each sex superior in its sphere4--,two parts of a complete unit4--,differences between men and women4--,physically4--,intellectually4-- ,these differences complemental4--,the more nervous sensibilities of woman4--,the earliest manifestation of sex characteristics4--,all life from an egg4--,the human egg1 size1 etc4--,the ovum always passive4--,the spermatozo,an1 or sperm1 always active4--,their remarkable vitality4--,the quicker pulse of male children at birth4--,greater activity of boys4--,while more male children are born1 a larger per cent4 die in infancy4--,women endure more and live longer4--,woman's more passive nature recognized by the civil law1 #ca ,,chapter ,,iii4 ,,differences ,,of ,,sex4 7,continued47 ,women keep life stable4--,men keep it from stagnation4--,influence of each a corrective upon the other4--,the law of mental and physical resemblance of elderly married persons4--,why woman possesses the stronger moral nature4--,how husband and children are benefited4--,the savage tribes manifest the dominant male characteristics4--,civilized nations take upon them the best characteristics of the feminine type4--,the best characteristics of each sex finds modified expression in the other4--,the beneficial effects which ,god secures by the union of an active with a passive sexual nature in marriage4--,the well-being of both bettered4--,mutual intelligence begets harmony1 while ignorance produces discord and misery4--,the reproductive organs differentiated in man and in woman4--,the same organs modified1 differently placed1 and assigned a different office1 #da ,,chapter ,,iv4 ,,essentials ,,in ,,husband ,,and ,,home4 ,requisites in a good husband4--,woman's love of home and its adornments4--,keeping up the courtship4--,the home1 the club1 and the loafing-place4--,an instance in point4--,the right of the wife to share the husband's recreations1 diversions and pleasures4--,the wife's greater need of relaxation and diversion4--,dr4 ,farrar's picture of a considerate husband4--,woman's love of being wooed4--,not marriage1 but the parties to it1 often a failure4--,degraded views concerning women often held4--,domineering wives and husbands4--,the ,zuni ,indians4--,the ,scriptural teaching4--,industry essential to happiness in the home4--,the claims of religion to be recognized4--,the conditions of the wicked and godly contrasted4--,the promise of the life that now is1 as well as that which is to come1 #ec ,,chapter ,v4 ,,the ,,physical ,,cost ,,of ,,procreation4 ,boxing the compass1 or proving the principles4--,prevalent ignorance on subjects relating to sex4--,lessons taught by the reproduction of vegetable life4--,the green scum of the pond4--,reproduction costs life4--,death as the result of reproduction among fishes4--,reproduction among insects4--,the drone and the queen bee4--,with the birds1 death as the result of reproduction disappears4--,with animals1 the ovum and sperm are reduced to microscopic proportions4--,the inclination to beget1 a premonition of decay and death4--,procreation costs vital force4--,reproductive inclination periodic among the lower animals4--,more continuous in man4--,benefits of restraint4--,strict continence often an imperative duty4--,instances named1 #gd ,,chapter ,,vi4 ,,marital ,,moderation4 ,twofold nature of love4--,rooted in the physical1 flowers in the spiritual4--,lust often miscalled love4--,three theories concerning the marital relation4--,unrestrained indulgence for men4--,for procreation only4--,as an expression of affection and for mutual endearment4--,the perpetuity of the race and the highest good of the individual consistent4--,what is marital moderation8--,difficulty in defining4--,the reproductive sense1 like hunger1 to be brought under the dominion of intelligence and refinement4--,the worm and the wild animals contrasted with man in the satisfying of hunger4--,jeremy ,taylor's rule4--,strong words from ,mrs4 ,e4 ,b4 ,duffey4--,marital moderation vs4 conjugal debauchery4--,limits set by some physicians4--,no one rule equally applicable in all cases4--,physical conditions of both husband and wife to be considered4--,degrading effects of sexual excess4--,the wishes of the wife always to be respected4--,stimulating food1 books1 pictures1 etc4--,importance of single beds and separate apartments4--,opinions of others quoted4--,physical culture as a corrective4--,manly mastery worth all it costs4--,the struggle not endless1 #he ,,chapter ,,vii4 ,,defects ,,and ,,deficiencies4 ,apprehensions awakened4--,foolish and injurious expedients resorted to4--,actual impotence not frequent4--,consult only intelligent and conscientious physicians4--,how to remove the apprehension4--,defects and deficiencies even less prevalent among females than among males4--,importance of proper treatment of the bride4--,rareness of deformity and abnormal conditions4--,weakness and diseased condition of the womb frequent among women4--,no woman with serious womb trouble should marry4--,how actual conditions can be accurately and properly determined1 #ajc ,,chapter ,,viii4 ,,purity ,,and ,,fidelity4 ,happiness dependent upon plain everyday principles4--,the defilement of the breath4--,effects on wife of the use of tobacco by the husband4--,effects upon physical and intellectual inheritance of offspring4--,effects of the use of liquor upon progeny4--,the duty of fidelity4--,one standard for both husband and wife4--,the physical risks of impurity4--,the sufferings of innocent and unsuspecting wives4--,an impressive illustration4--,terrible effects suffered by wives as result of gonorrh,aa in husbands4--,unmistakable testimony of eminent physicians4--,not only physical effects upon wife1 but moral effects upon self and children1 #aaj ,,part ,,ii4 ,,concerning ,,his ,,wife4 ,,chapter ,,ix4 ,,the ,,bride4 ,importance of knowledge contained in preceding volume4--,woman possessed of less sexual inclinations than man4--,threefold classification4--,those largely devoid of sexual feeling4--,this condition accounted for4--,the large class to whom the pleasure is normal4--,the third class consists of those in whom sexuality is a ruling passion4--,misfortune of such a condition in a wife4--,among animals the female determines the time of mating4--,no rapes among animals4--,the subjugation of the wife4--,her right over her own body4--,the changes which come to the reproductive natures of men and women at middle life4--,noticeable effect of the new relation upon young married people4--,the cause and cure of excessive sensual tendencies1 #abc ,,chapter ,x4 ,,the ,,care ,,of ,,the ,,bride4 ,few young husbands intelligent guardians of their brides4--,many brides totally ignorant of everything relating to sex4--,depleted physical condition of most brides4--,ignorant brides and inconsiderate husbands4--,estrangement often begins with marriage4--,the ,grecian custom a good one4--,an instance where passion and impatience resulted in a permanent separation4--,plain words by ,dr4 ,guernsey4--,mrs4 ,duffey's warnings to rapacious young husbands4--,serious physical effects4--,dr4 ,napheys on the precipitancy of young husbands4--,physical inconvenience and discomfort of young brides4--,what may be regarded as sufficient evidence of virginity4--,medical authorities quoted4--,idiots and imbeciles begotten as result of liquor used on wedding occasions4--,wedding joy too good to last4--,the wave cannot remain at its crest4--,have a home4--,dangers of hotel and boarding-house life4--,danger from debt4--,industry1 happiness and health4--,how to have joy abide to the end1 #acb ,,chapter ,,xi4 ,,the ,,young ,,wife ,,and ,,motherhood4 ,manifold duties of the wife4--,the great army of martyred wives and mothers4--,need of consideration on the part of husbands4--,parenthood the great purpose of marriage4--,the great wrong of purposed and persistent evasion of parenthood4--,it places lust upon the throne of love4--,such evasions always punished by nature4--,queen ,victoria as a model mother4--,motherhood may not properly be forced upon an unwilling wife4--,how to effect the necessary change of mind4--,why many wives are unwilling to become mothers4--,how children mold the characters of husband and wife4--,children golden links to bind husband and wife more closely4--,they are buffers to break the jars of family life4--,they become their parents' benefactors4--,desire for children natural and commendable4--,barrenness4--,causes of1 #adf ,,chapter ,,xii4 ,,questions ,,concerning ,,offspring4 ,natural for parents to desire offspring4--,the prevalent unnatural desire to evade parenthood4--,the crime of destroying unborn human life4--,the law pronounces the crime murder4--,the question of quickening4--,authorities quoted4--,how the health and lives of mothers are sacrificed by abortion4--,character of unwanted children4--,the desire to murder transmitted from mother to child4--,the transmission of a predisposition to commit murder4--,how the minds of young girls are prepared for child-murder4--,defective instruction and consequent ignorance4--,how husbands drive wives to commit this great crime4--,awful testimony of wives4--,the largest reproduction possible not intended4--,quantity as well as quality4--,culpable and criminal limitation of offspring4--,times when it is wrong to beget children4--,difficulties may be removed and fitness acquired4--,how may the birth rate be rightly regulated8--,what physicians say4--,unsafe1 unsatisfactory and ruinous methods resorted to4--,the ,scriptural provision4--,benefits and dangers of ,prepared ,parenthood4--,mental state at time of conjunction4--,mental and physical state of mother during gestation4--,signs of fruitful conjunction1 #afb ,,chapter ,,xiii4 ,,the ,,expectant ,,mother4 ,during maternity the wife should have special consideration4--,lack of intelligence often inspires fear and dread4--,discouraging and depressing remarks of some women to expectant young mothers4--,how to overcome her gloomy forebodings4--,the changed demeanor of some women after conception4--,the husband's duty in such cases4--,the wife should become intelligent before conception takes place4--,the husband should secure intelligence by reading the best books4--,valuable suggestions on diet1 rest and exercise from ,trained ,motherhood4--,mistakes often made after confinement4--,the marital relation during pregnancy4--,the example of birds and animals4--,the custom in heathen countries4--,medical authorities quoted4--,importance of an undisturbed maternity1 #aig ,,chapter ,,xiv4 ,,the ,,changes ,,which ,,precede1 ,,attend ,,and ,,follow ,,childbirth4 ,wonderful adaptation of body of the mother to reproduction4--,how wonderful a watch which could oil1 repair and produce other watches1 and keep accurate time4--,wonders of reproduction seen in the flower4--,death defeated and extinction prevented by reproduction4--,the agony of splendor which attends the period of fertilization of the flowers4--,after fertilization the flower fades4--,similar changes in human life4--,illustrated in the birds4--,the changes in appearance and demeanor more marked in the female4--,the greater changes within the mother's body4--,how conception takes place4--,why two parents instead of one4--,the womb seems almost instinct with intelligence4--,no spermatozo,an or ovum retained unless the two have united4--,the changes which take place in the ovum4--,its reception and royal cradle in the womb4--,the cradle enlarged with the growth of its occupant4--,in the minute egg are ingrained the characteristics of the man or woman that is to be4--,how the germ is at first nourished4--,the formation of the placenta and its office1 #baf ,,chapter ,,xv4 ,,the ,,changes ,,which ,,precede1 ,,attend ,,and ,,follow ,,childbirth4 7,continued47 ,the formation of the sacs about the germ of life4--,spontaneous segmentation4--,formation of ,blastodermic membrane4--,the embryonic spot4--,the different membranes which enclose the embryo4--,the gathering of the waters1 or the amniotic fluid4--,the office of the amniotic fluid4--,the growth of the embryo described by ,dr4 ,guernsey4--,the rudimentary embryo at five weeks1 at seven weeks1 two months1 and ten weeks4--,at end of the fifth month the embryo known as the fetus4--,changes indicated at time of birth4--,man fearfully and wonderfully made4--,bodily changes of the mother as parturition approaches4--,the descent of the womb4--,enlargement of vagina and external parts4--,the coming away of the plug1 or the show4--,premonitory pains4--,undue apprehensions of danger4--,wonderful changes that take place in the body of the mother at birth of child4--,changes in the body of the child after its birth1 #bcc ,,chapter ,,xvi4 ,,when ,,the ,,baby ,,is ,,born4 ,birth at tenth menstrual period4--,labor-pains and after-pains4--,intelligent preparation removes anxiety and danger4--,what the husband needs to know if no physician is present4--,severing of placentic cord4--,the physician's instructions to be obeyed4--,should the husband remain with his wife8--,the afterbirth4--,the first need of the child4--,the care of the mother4--,protection from visitors4--,the selection of a nurse4--,from six weeks to three months to secure normal condition of reproductive organs4--,marital relation after confinement and miscarriage4--,instances of cruel exactions4--,nature of first nourishment of child4--,dangers of wet-nurses and vicious nurse-girls4--,the pleasures of fatherhood4--,the father's duty to his children1 #bea ,,part ,,iii4 ,,concerning ,,his ,,children4 ,,chapter ,,xvii4 ,,heredity4 ,only early knowledge can be of any benefit to offspring4--,our previous treatment of heredity4--,the three periods of greatest molding power4--,relation of correct model to finished statue4--,education of child begins twenty years before it is born4--,heredity in horses4--,effect of mental state of mother upon the forming unborn offspring4--,emotions effect chemical changes in the breath4--,physical and mental state effect exhalations of body4--,odors of insane asylums1 penitentiaries1 etc4--,achievements in development of domestic animals1 birds1 fruit trees1 flowers1 etc4--,these laws in human heredity4--,modifying interferences4--,degenerate sons of noble sires4--,causes not difficult to find4--,essentials of good soil1 good seed and good care1 #bfe ,,chapter ,,xviii4 ,,prenatal ,,influences4 ,prenatal influences illustrated4--,robert ,burns1 ,napoleon4--,a kleptomaniac4--,how some murderers were made4--,guiteau4--,the mother of an artist4--,the twins that liked books4--,various instances named4--,child-marking4--,a child with two thumbs4--,born with but one hand4--,corrective theory of ,c4 ,j4 ,bayer4--,corrective longings4--,longings4--,their treatment4--,their effects4--,instances given4--,the mother's molding power in producing characteristics desired in her children4--,potency of this influence4--,forming versus reforming4--,a word of comfort to parents of children that are marked at birth4--,diverse theories concerning the determining of sex1 #bgf ,,chapter ,,xix4 ,,childhood4 ,the opportunities for forming and reforming during infancy4--,books and periodicals on nurture and training of children4--,importance of first two years4--,evils of promiscuous kissing4--,potency of nursery influences4--,protecting the child from vices of servants4--,danger from secret vice4--,honest answers to honest inquiries4--,forestall degrading information from vicious companions4--,the parents' duty at puberty of child4--,education of children4--,their physical culture4--,moral training4--,the parting word1 #bij ,,preface4 ,in approaching the work which we have undertaken in these pages1 we have not been blind to the difficulties which confront us in entering upon so delicate a subject4 ,if we had thought only of these1 we would never have taken up our pen in this work4 ,we have been moved to it by the cries of disappointment and anguish which may be heard everywhere throughout our land1 and by the pleadings that come up out of the dense ignorance which envelops palace and hovel alike4 ,knowing the importance of these matters which are so central in our physical life1 so essential in their relation to the condition1 character1 career and destiny of every individual1 and so fundamental and vital to every institution and interest of society2 knowing also the importance of proper intelligence concerning the laws which govern our bodies1 and knowing how the honest and the pure who seek information concerning these most sacred relations of human life are exposed1 amid the dearth of pure and reliable books1 to contamination by books whose secret character designedly fosters the very lusts and evils which they are professedly written to denounce1 we have felt that we would be recreant to duty1 to humanity and to ,god if we allowed difficulties to bar us from this important work4 ,turn where you will1 the manifest consequences of the prevalent ignorance upon these vital and important subjects stare one in the face1 and the appealing need of the hosts of honest men and women who desire such information as will enable them to attain the noblest and the best which ,god has placed within their reach is a sufficient condemnation of that spurious modesty which desires that a ban shall continue upon intelligence1 so that men and women may remain in a hopeless bondage to vice and its awful consequences4 ,knowing the universal need for the information which we have sought to communicate in a plain and pure way in these pages1 and while laboring with an ever-present sense of the difficulties and delicacies of the undertaking1 we have turned to our task with greater assurance when we have remembered the appreciative messages of eminent men and women which have come from all quarters of the globe1 the unreserved and hearty commendations which the earlier books of the series have received from the entire religious1 secular1 educational and medical press of the ,united ,states1 ,england and ,canada2 we have been inspired by the fact that these books are already being translated into other languages2 that without suggestion they have been publicly commended at the different international conventions of ,christian workers in this country1 and are also being used by ,christian missionaries in many lands in their efforts to redeem and save the heathen4 ,to many1 marriage is not that source of blessing and happiness which ,god intended4 ,its purposes and possibilities are never realized4 ,thousands are constantly entering upon marriage only to be miserable and wretched because they do not understand the nature and intent of their own endowments1 or the purpose of ,god in ordaining the institution4 ,whatever information they ever obtain is secured by blind blunderings1 and at the most ruinous cost4 ,even where no permanent physical consequences are entailed1 mental and moral effects1 which are even more ruinous in their results1 remain to mar the blessings of later years4 ,had they been intelligent1 they might have possessed from the very first the benefits and blessings which ignorance has placed and kept beyond their reach4 ,sad as such results are1 they are still more grievous because of the consequences which must be suffered by their families1 and which are handed down to innocent children who are to reap the results of parental ignorance long years after the parents themselves may have passed away4 ,it is to save young men and young women from such disastrous and far-reaching results1 and to afford them the blessing and happiness which ,god intended1 that we have set ourselves to the task undertaken in these pages4 ,to secure the largest assistance from these pages1 it is necessary to know that this book is supplemental and stands related to the two which have preceded in the nature of an educational series4 ,to comprehend the entire subject of the reproductive organs1 their purpose1 function and preservation1 it would be well also to know the contents of the books which follow this present volume in the same series4 ,gratefully acknowledging the valuable aid and assistance from many sources1 trustfully seeking the continued co-operation of the good and pure everywhere1 and relying upon the favor and blessing of ,him whose guidance we have constantly sought1 this volume is now sent forth on its important mission4 ,,sylvanus ,,stall4 ,,philadelphia1 ,,pa41 ,july #bj1 #ahii4 ,,part ,i ,,concerning ,,himself ,,what ,a ,,young ,,husband ,,ought ,,to ,,know4 ,,chapter ,i4 ,,the ,,relation ,,of ,,marriage4 ,the young man who marries finds himself in an entirely new relation in life4 ,grand as life may have been in the past1 the present and the future are full of new meaning1 of grander possibilities and of larger blessing4 ,god has meant that love should come to man to glorify life and to lift the lower nature of husband and wife into higher realms of thought and being2 to transform1 deepen1 broaden and soften4 ,in them love becomes the potent source of mightiest inspirations4 ,the husband's duty seemed formerly to be to care1 to arrange and to provide only for himself4 ,now he has assumed additional responsibilities4 ,he is no longer to live for himself1 but for his wife1 his children1 and in a larger sense for his descendants--for the good of the race4 ,he is to continue by transmitting himself1 that life may remain when he is gone4 ,what he does involves the interests of his wife1 and of those who are to come after him4 ,love is to conquer selfishness4 ,he is to rise above himself1 and the present good and future happiness of others are to constitute his well-being4 ,his present and future happiness will be dependent upon a clear apprehension of the fact that what he is will determine what his descendants are to be after him4 ,he should comprehend the fullest meaning of what is taught in the statement that we are part of all the people whom we have met1 the result of past influences and previous life4 ,what we have been and are1 that we transmit4 ,the responsibilities1 are grave1 but the state of two congenial souls made one in happy marriage is the grandest and most blessed earthly condition conferred upon man by ,god himself4 ,it meets the requirements of our being1 and1 when properly understood and faithfully conformed to1 brings the largest happiness that mortals are capable of upon earth4 ,husband and wife1 parents and child1 home and country1 form the centre of all that makes life dear4 ,the purest1 noblest and most unselfish aspirations and purposes derive their strength and being from the sweet influences which have their beginning and their continuance in this power which draws men and women together in happy and holy wedlock4 ,by these sweet influences the most perfect natures are moulded and ennobled4 ,by them are formed the strongest ties that hold humanity to the accomplishment of every high and holy endeavor4 ,where the mind has continued pure1 and the character untarnished1 and the life unsullied by the touch of social evil1 the sexual impulse does not die in that cradle of our being where ,god has given it birth but marches like a mighty conqueror1 arousing and marshalling the mightiest human forces in every department of man's nature4 ,it formulates his purpose1 quickens his imagination1 and calls into exercise his united powers in the attainment of the world's greatest and grandest achievements in art1 in letters1 in inventions1 in philosophy1 in philanthropy1 and in every effort that is to secure the universal blessing of mankind4 ,it is under the awakening of the reproductive life that the fields put on their verdure1 the flowers unfold their beauty and fragrance1 the birds put on their brightest plumage and sing their sweetest song1 while the chirp of the cricket1 the note of the katydid1 is but the call to its mate--for the many-tongued voices which break the stillness of field and forest are but the myriad notes of love4 ,to this universal1 ,god-given passion1 man owes his love of color1 his love of beauty and sweetness in art and music1 his love of rhythm in poetry1 of grace in form1 in painting1 in sculpture2 and from it not only springs the love of the beautiful1 but even the perception and recognition of all that which is pleasing and lovely4 ,this is the emotion that strengthens every faculty1 quickens every power1 animates1 modifies1 ennobles1 purifies and sweetens the entire being1 and makes our life upon earth1 when directed by godly purposes1 the unfolding and enriching of those nobler powers of the soul which are to find their fullest fruition and perfection in heaven itself4 ,while these powers may all be kept in abeyance until financial1 social1 religious and other requirements can be adequately met1 yet there is a proper time for their full expression and purposed exercise4 ,while ,god has meant that reason should rule over passion1 and that every sexual impulse should yield to other requirements and activities1 yet ,he has wisely purposed that these leadings of our nature should be pronounced and strong4 ,if these sentiments and emotions were not strong--very strong indeed--no man1 knowing the risks and dangers which are liable to arise because of incompatibility of temper1 mistaken estimates of physical1 intellectual and moral qualifications1 would take upon himself the responsibilities1 incur the risks1 augment his expenses1 and assume the far-reaching obligations which are involved when two are united1 for better or for worse1 in indissoluble bonds for life4 ,were not the sentiment and emotions strong in woman1 as well as in man1 what woman would assume the responsibilities of wife and mother8 ,whatever man is required to give up1 to endure1 to suffer1 to risk1 even more seems to fall to the lot of woman4 ,were it not for strong sentiment and moving emotion1 what woman would commit her entire future to the keeping of any man8 ,where is one who would assume the pains and perils of maternity1 with the subsequent possibility of being left by the death of her husband with a family of dependent children8 ,if the young husband desires in marriage the joys and blessings with which ,god has crowned this relation1 he need not seek the immolation of his sexual nature1 but he does need to subordinate his sexual passion to the reign of reason and the government of the moral sense4 ,he cannot afford to ignore the rights1 the comfort and the wishes of his wife4 ,if he looks upon marriage as an easy means of securing self-indulgence1 as affording a safe and lawful means for unbridled gratification1 he is doomed to disappointment and to misery4 ,if passion is to be enthroned where ,god ordained that none but love should reign1 then anarchy with all its attendant horrors must1 and surely will1 desolate the heart1 the home and the life2 for lust can filch but cannot enjoy the pleasures and blessings of this heaven-ordained relation1 which are reserved only for the pure1 who live under the domain and rule of love and reason4 ,to comprehend love in its intended relation to sexual impulse1 and at the same time to understand something of it in its diviner aspects2 to know love in its beauty1 greatness and power2 to free it from ideas of grossness and evil1 and yet to retain in healthful balance and poise that portion of our nature which ,god has assigned so prominent and so important a place in man's estate of present happiness and the future prosperity and blessing of the race1 is the instant duty of all intelligent men and women1 both young and old4 ,conscientiously to relate these emotions of our nature to the highest well-being of the individual and the race1 and to redeem the purest and most sacred relation of life from the realm of degradation and shame1 to disarm and depose that sensual usurper which has been enthroned and worshiped in the name of love1 and set love herself upon the throne1 fair1 luminous and pure1 to gladden1 to bless1 and to save1 shall be both our effort and our justification4 ,,chapter ,,ii4 ,,differences ,,of ,,sex4 ,it is both difficult and unnecessary to determine which is the superior of the two sexes4 ,when the subject is regarded in its true light there is no superiority upon the part of either1 and at the same time each is superior to the other in the sphere in which ,god designed them to move4 ,the truth was perhaps aptly represented by ,president ,lincoln when presented at the same time with two hats by rival hatters4 ,both hats were about as perfect as it was possible for human skill to make them4 ,he desired to recognize this perfection in both1 and yet to avoid discrimination in favor of either1 and in that matchless sufficiency which qualified him for the demands of almost any situation1 ,mr4 ,lincoln1 in accepting the hats1 said3 ,gentlemen1 your hats mutually excel each other4 ,the same is true of men and women2 they mutually excel each other4 ,in man's place1 he is superior2 and in woman's place1 she is superior4 ,the wisdom with which ,god has adapted each for the important place which they are to occupy in life is well worth our thought and study1 and a clear apprehension of the subject will help to remove many of the misunderstandings1 estrangements and conflicts which so frequently arise in married life4 ,that neither is superior to the other1 but that they are two parts of one complete whole1 segments of the same circle1 and that their union is absolutely essential to unity and entirety1 will be best understood as we study what these differences are4 ,in some respects man is inferior to woman1 while in other respects woman is inferior to man4 ,in a happy marriage these differences become complemental1 rendering possible that superior unity in which the two are made one4 ,let us note what some of these differences are4 ,in stature1 woman is shorter than man4 ,in the ,united ,states the average height of men is about five feet eight inches1 and the weight about one hundred and forty-five pounds4 ,the average woman is about five feet three inches in height1 and about one hundred and twenty-five pounds in weight4 ,the normally-developed man has broad shoulders and narrow hips1 while woman has narrow shoulders and broad hips4 ,her shoulders set further back1 giving her breast greater depth4 ,in effecting this change her collar-bone is shorter1 and this is one reason why she cannot throw a stone or ball with as much accuracy as man4 ,in man the muscles are well defined1 and indicate great strength1 while in woman1 even when the muscles are well developed1 the outlines are more hidden by fatty and cellular tissues1 which fill all the hollows and round off all angles1 giving her peculiar grace and beauty4 ,he has greater muscular force1 but she has more power of endurance4 ,the bony structure of woman is smaller1 and more delicately formed4 ,the angles of the bones are less projecting1 and the joints better concealed4 ,the skull is smaller1 and the bones of the cranium thinner4 ,the sternum1 or breastbone1 is shorter and flatter1 and the clavicles1 or collar-bones1 more crooked and shorter4 ,his voice is deeper and more guttural2 hers softer and more musical4 ,her neck is longer1 her skin softer1 her hair less generally diffused but more luxuriant in growth than in man4 ,the most noticeable feature in the study of the differences of the bony structure of the two sexes is observable in the pelvis--a word derived from the ,greek1 signifying dish or bowl4 ,in man this structure is simply to subserve the purposes of strength and motion4 ,in woman this bony basin1 which forms the lower part of the body1 has an additional purpose of special importance4 ,at her side the hip-bones form the highest points1 and from these the pelvis slopes down until in front it forms a comparatively narrow rim called the pubic arch4 ,this change of form in woman is designed to adapt her body to become the first cradle of her children1 and in the fullness of time to permit the easy transit of a new being into the outer world4 ,in preparing woman for maternity1 ,god has thus equipped her with such physical adaptation as is suited to the carrying of her temporary burden1 while at the same time affording protection for the hidden life within1 thus fitting the physical frame of woman to the mother-nature with which ,he has endowed her4 ,while woman is thus furnished with physical requisites suited to the easiest accomplishment of the divine purpose--while the form of her body1 the articulation of her bones and the size of her muscles all indicate her sense of dependence upon man--,god has1 with like wisdom1 adapted man in all of his physical endowments to become the shield and defender of woman4 ,he is to be her protection and her defense4 ,his fiercer visage1 his broader shoulders1 his more muscular frame1 all speak clearly of the divine purpose4 ,intellectually1 as well as physically1 men and women are best suited for their respective duties and responsibilities in life4 ,in arriving at a conclusion1 man is much more deliberate and logical1 proceeding step by step after an orderly method2 while woman reaches the conclusion in much less time by means of her intuition4 ,while woman is by no means incapable of logical deductions1 yet generally she does not stop to reason it out1 but takes refuge in the statement that she knows that it is so2 that she is sure that she is right4 ,it is easy to see that intellectually1 as well as physically1 men and women are complemental1 and when the conclusions arrived at are identical they become confirmatory of each other4 ,while men would be likely to prefer the conclusions which are reached by their own method1 yet women in the exercise of the same freedom are likely to prefer the intuitions of their own sex4 ,for either to decide in favor of the intellectual superiority of their own sex would be somewhat like the case of two men engaged in a lawsuit1 where one takes it upon himself to become umpire and decide in favor of himself and against his opponent4 ,the nervous system of woman is more refined and more delicate than that in man4 ,this greater nervous sensibility renders her more susceptible to impressions1 enables her to dwell constantly in the realm of more refined susceptibilities1 rendering distasteful to her all things that are coarse and low1 and at the same time endowing her with a greater capacity both for pleasure and for pain4 ,man's sources of pleasure are not always hers1 but in love of her home and its adornment1 in love of her children and their well-being1 of literature1 art1 music and religion1 she usually surpasses man1 save in exceptional cases4 ,to enable woman1 with her finer nervous sensibilities1 to meet the larger burden of pain and suffering which is laid upon her1 ,god has adequately fitted her by bestowing a compensating power of endurance4 ,if we desire to deny woman this greater sensitiveness and greater endurance we would need to ignore the patience and bravery with which they face and bear the pains and perils of maternity--pains and sufferings of which they assert that man cannot form the remotest idea4 ,but there are also other differences less manifest to the superficial observer1 but none the less real and important to those who would comprehend the wonderful wisdom of the ,creator and intelligently prepare themselves to receive the good which is designed for and is possible to intelligent men and women4 ,there are inherent differences of character and modifications of temperament which can be best understood by studying the very earliest manifestations of human life when we examine the sperm of the male and the ovum of the female as seen under the microscope4 ,these characteristics are not imaginary1 but inherent1 and are manifestly designed and intended by the all-wise ,creator4 ,and it is only when we study these characteristics in their entirety1 with a desire to understand the divine purpose1 that we can measurably comprehend how these individual differences in each contribute to the blessing and the well-being of both4 ,the part contributed by the mother in the reproductive act toward the life of the future child is called an ovum1 which means an egg2 for all forms of life1 both vegetable and animal1 begin with a seed or egg1 which are two names for the same thing4 ,in the lower forms of life these eggs are usually produced on the exterior of the plant1 while in the higher forms of life1 as1 for instance1 in the bird1 the seed or egg is produced in the inside of the body1 and after being perfected is expelled1 to be hatched in a nest1 where the young1 when they attain their proper size1 break the shell and emerge into the outer world4 ,in the highest forms of life the ovum reaches its maturity in a department of the mother's body which is called the ovary4 ,in woman1 at the end of a period of twenty-eight days1 as a succeeding ovum ripens it passes into a tube which awaits its reception1 and is moved onward into the womb1 where it remains for a period1 awaiting the reception of the male element called the spermatozoa4 ,this is the plural1 while a single one is called a spermatozo,an4 ,the ovum or egg of the mother is so small that two hundred and forty of them would need to be laid side by side in order to make a row one inch long4 ,the spermatozo,an1 the principle of life contributed by the male1 is so small that it is not visible to the eye except by the aid of a microscope1 and1 when seen1 somewhat resembles a pollywog4 ,these minute centres of life are alive1 and move in a fluid which is secreted by the male organs of reproduction1 and which is generally called semen4 ,now1 if we study the characteristics of the ovum and of the spermatozo,an we may be surprised when we discover some of the same differences which characterize men and women from infancy to old age4 ,in passing through the tube which is to carry it into the womb from that portion of the body of the mother where it has attained its growth and perfection1 the ovum is passive--does not move by its own inherent life1 but is carried forward to its designed place by the movement in the tube itself1 the same as the food which is masticated in the mouth is passed on to the stomach1 not by any action in the food itself1 but by the movement of the esophagus1 which passes it onward to its destined place in the stomach4 ,in other words1 the ovum is passive4 ,when we come to the spermatozoa1 or sperm1 of the male1 we find an entirely different manifestation4 ,just the same as you see the pollywog moving in the water1 or tiny fish swimming about in the pool1 so the spermatozoa move with activity and vigor in the semen1 and when this has been transferred to the interior of the body of the mother in the manner in which ,god designed1 it retains its activity1 moving vigorously about in the upper portion of the vaginal cavity until it finds the entrance into the womb4 ,passing through and above the cervix1 it continues to move about with great activity until it finds an ovum1 which it seeks with avidity4 ,when it reaches the womb1 if there is no ovum present1 it may remain there for a period of days awaiting its arrival1 or may find its way into one of the ,fallopian tubes which lead out to the ovary1 and even go in quest of the object of its search as far as the ovary itself4 ,these little creatures1 one-fortieth of an inch in length1 and requiring that hundreds of them should be laid side by side in order to extend one single inch1 are so numerous that hundreds of them exist in a single drop of semen1 and yet a single one is all that is necessary in order to fertilize the ovum and render complete the beginning of a new life4 ,while the ovum is passive1 the sperm of the male is characterized by great activity and remarkable vitality4 ,dr4 ,napheys says3 ,the secretive fluid has been frozen and kept at a temperature of zero during four days1 yet when it was thawed1 these animalcules1 as they are supposed to be1 were as active as ever4 ,in her interesting book1 entitled ,life and ,love1 ,margaret ,warner ,morley says3 ,under the microscope these active forms have been seen eagerly moving around and around the egg until one1 more fortunate than the rest1 finds admission and dissolves into the substance of the egg--not to be finally lost1 however1 for1 as we know1 this inexplicable union results in the growth of a new creature like neither parent1 and yet like both1 each cell having given to the new life certain characteristics of the creature from which it was derived4 ,this greater activity of the sperm is seen also at the birth of the child2 for physicians tell us that the pulse of a male child at birth beats two or three times a minute faster than that of a female child4 ,the tissues of the male are also characterized by the same superior activity2 and not only among men1 but among all creatures4 ,the tissues of the male have a greater tendency to change than those of the female4 ,in the very fibre of her structure she is quiet1 while he is more active4 ,characterized by this more marked vitality1 more sturdy form and more muscular frame1 we would naturally expect that the vitality of male children would be greater than that of female children4 ,but this is not the case4 ,it is claimed by some good authorities that about five per cent4 more male than female children are born into the world1 but at five years of age more girls are alive than boys4 ,and what may seem increasingly strange1 when we consider the greater perils to which the life of women is exposed in childbearing1 the expectation of life1 as life-insurance companies designate it1 is greater in woman than in man1 and when the census of old persons is taken1 the larger number of them are women4 ,the civil law recognizes this more passive nature of females and the more intense activity of males by regarding the man as the criminal in all actions for fornication or bastardy4 ,while public sentiment ostracizes and is more severe and unrelenting with the woman1 the law always inflicts its penalty upon the man4 ,,chapter ,,iii4 ,,differences ,,of ,,sex4 ,continued4 ,these differences in temperament indicate the infinite wisdom of the ,creator1 and to any thoughtful observer the many benefits must be manifest4 ,longfellow1 in his ,hiawatha1 says3 ,as unto the bow the cord is1 ,so unto the man is woman4 ,though she bends him1 she obeys him2 ,though she draws him1 yet she follows3 ,useless each without the other4 ,woman might be said to be1 both in the family and in society1 the centripetal force1 insuring permanency1 attracting and drawing to herself and within herself1 thus preventing1 in the family and in society1 the tendency to fly from the centre and to produce chaos4 ,man is life's centrifugal force4 ,the impetuosity and velocity of his nature tend to throw everything from the centre4 ,his influence is to prevent gravitation from drawing everything to a given point1 where all would become a state of rest4 ,while woman keeps life stable1 man keeps it from stagnation2 but it requires the reciprocal influence of each to secure that harmony which ,god intended4 ,woman's stability unmodified by man's influence would tend to result in complete rest1 which would mean stagnation and death4 ,man's greater impetuosity would lead to instability1 unrest1 and possible chaos4 ,as1 in nature1 the centrifugal and centripetal forces equalize and balance themselves1 swaying the spheres in fixed orbits1 so the influences of men and women upon each other1 both in the family and in society1 help to secure and maintain an even balance4 ,while opposite in tendency1 they are yet of equal necessity and of equal value4 ,each is essential to the perfection and completeness of the other1 and perfect unity is only secured by the union of the two4 ,the reciprocal influences of men and women are oftentimes noticed in old couples who have passed thirty or forty years together in peace and harmony1 each living year after year under the moulding power of the other1 and each being moulded by the surroundings and influences which have wrought upon the other4 ,year after year they become more alike in form1 feature and expression4 ,their views and opinions become increasingly harmonized1 until there comes also to be a mental resemblance4 ,that they have lived in the midst of the same surroundings and breathed the same air1 have eaten the same kind of food1 have shared each other's joys and pleasures1 have laughed and wept together1 have been under the formative influences of the same conditions1 tend in a measure to this increasing likeness2 but under the reciprocal influences each has lost a portion of this more pronounced personality and taken upon himself or herself the physical1 intellectual and moral features of the other4 ,their union has constantly tended to unity4 ,in religious matters there is also a noticeable difference between men and women4 ,generally1 woman responds more readily to religious teachings and influences1 and by nature she manifestly follows the ,master's leadings more closely than her male companion2 and there are good reasons evident why this should be so4 ,with the uninterrupted duties of the household1 which are oftentimes even multiplied on ,sundays1 it is necessary that a moral sense correspondingly more acute should prompt her to overcome the difficulties which beset her in her approach to the sanctuary1 and ,god has given her that added moral force which is designed to enable her to overcome the increased resistance which she meets in the performance of her religious duties4 ,there are times also when1 in the discharge of her special duties as wife and mother1 for weeks1 and even for months1 she is called upon to minister to others in sickness1 or give herself to the care of infant children2 and were it not for the larger endowment of her devotional nature1 these repeated and prolonged but enforced absences from ,god's house would result in the formation of a fixed habit which would eventually wholly keep the majority of women from attendance upon all religious assemblies4 ,but in view of the important fact that ,god has more largely entrusted the moral and religious training of the children to the mother1 we need to think but for a moment to understand what would be the result if her own nature was not endowed with sufficient strength to enable her to overcome every barrier1 and to rise to the higher plane of duty and responsibility in this matter4 ,the exceptional instances of mothers who are themselves deficient in their moral nature and neglectful of religious duties1 and who1 on that account1 fail utterly in the moral and religious training of their children1 are quite sufficient to illustrate what would be the condition in the home1 in the ,church1 the community1 and the ,state1 if ,god had not endowed woman with a stronger moral nature and a keener sense of religious obligation than is found in man4 ,it is by this more active moral sense in woman that the religious poise and balance of the family is maintained2 and its benign results are often seen1 not only in the children1 but in the husband as well4 ,the complemental differences in the intellectual and moral natures of men and women are as essential to the highest and best development of the entire nature of each as the complemental physical and sexual differences of each are indispensable to that union in which the two are made one in the child which is begotten of the father and born of the mother4 ,this reflexive and reciprocal influence of each sex upon the other to the mutual modification and advantage of both is clearly seen in the nation1 as well as in the life of the family4 ,this thought is beautifully presented by ,margaret ,warner ,morley in her book entitled ,life and ,love3 ,in the lower life1 and in savages1 the community in its characteristics approaches the masculine type2 it is selfish1 egoistic1 unstable1 variable4 ,the herd of buffalo1 for illustration1 roams about in search of food and water1 charging relentlessly and destroying whatever enemy comes in its way4 ,the savage tribe often has no fixed abode1 but roams about from place to place2 where it has a home it is1 as a rule1 given to frequent war with its neighbors1 and is liable to be uprooted by a stronger foe and absorbed1 and thus lost1 or it may be destroyed or compelled to move on4 ,while this is true in the savage community as a whole1 that is1 considered as a nation1 a unit2 in its internal organization1 on the other hand1 it is essentially feminine in its characteristics2 its habits are simple1 stable1 not liable to change4 ,it makes no inventions1 elaborates no complex machinery4 ,in civilized life1 the opposite characteristics predominate4 ,the community as a whole constantly takes upon itself the best characteristics of the feminine type4 ,it becomes stable1 less given to change4 ,it does not seek war1 but prefers peace1 becomes more and more quiescent and altruistic4 ,while these external changes are discernible1 corresponding changes take place in the internal national life4 ,the civilized nation tends to move away from the feminine toward the masculine type4 ,inventions and innovations constantly change the order of things4 ,national existence is established1 but the existence of the individual calls for a more vigorous struggle4 ,competitions become fierce1 and the struggle between labor and capital becomes more intense1 and the exertion of personal energy merges into an effort to secure prestige and place1 wealth and power2 consequently the higher faculties generally obtain their larger development4 ,in this approach toward the feminine type the community as a whole parts with some of its less desirable masculine expressions2 it becomes modified1 less angular4 ,the desire for war departs1 courage remains1 and energy finds expression in new and nobler directions4 ,but while these changes are taking place1 the community does not discard all its masculine characteristics4 ,it simply parts with the lower or least desirable of each1 while the best elements of both are united in the new manifestation4 ,to quote further from ,miss ,morley's interesting paragraphs3 ,certain changes which mark the advanced community as a whole1 necessarily1 and in no less degree1 mark the individuals composing it4 ,the sexes are not sharply distinguished from each other in the intellectual and emotional realms4 ,on the whole1 men as a class probably show a preponderance of what may be termed masculine characteristics1 as greater egoism1 variability1 activity2 but these masculine characteristics have been modified1 lessened1 effeminized1 so to speak4 ,in the higher type of man the best and highest feminine characteristics have been fused with the best and highest masculine characteristics4 ,the fighting instinct1 for instance1 has become moral courage2 the tendency to vary expresses itself in great intellectual development2 instability and restlessness have become intellectual rather than physical qualities1 leading to notable inventions and discoveries4 ,brave and gentle1 strong and tender1 inventive and patient1 the finest type of man owes his superiority to the transforming and illuminating power of his inheritance of womanly qualities4 ,in the higher type of woman the best and highest masculine characteristics have been fused with the best and highest development of the feminine characteristics4 ,altruism1 for instance1 has been rationalized and guarded by the exercise of greater reasoning power2 stability1 or inertia1 has been lessened and prevented from forming an insurmountable barrier to progress4 ,the tendency to vary has been strengthened2 the more negative nature has progressed to a more positive condition4 ,courage1 inventiveness and greater strength of intellectual perception have been fostered in civilized woman4 ,her submission to man gradually lessens before the upward progress of her mind4 ,she places herself as his equal--as the other half1 without which his half-life cannot be complete4 ,nor does this borrowing of the characteristics of each by the other mean the merging of the two sexes into one1--the obliteration of sex difference1 and hence of sex attraction4 ,it means the elevation of man by developing his masculine qualities in the direction of their highest possibilities1 and by adding to manhood a new charm1 a subtle grace1 an irresistible beauty4 ,it means the elevation of woman by the development of her womanly qualities in the direction of their highest possibilities1 and by adding to womanhood a new power1 a deeper1 more far-reaching sympathy1 an ineffable glow and a nobler beauty4 ,the mind is a mighty solvent2 through it the two sexes have been united in an intellectual union1 from which has been born a new man with the dominant masculine characteristics developed in the noblest direction1 and enriched by union with feminine characteristics1 and a new woman with the feminine characteristics grandly developed and enhanced by what was once in the province of masculine knowledge and activity4 ,in harmony with what we have been considering in this chapter1 it is eminently proper to discuss briefly the reciprocal sexual tempers and tendencies of married men and women4 ,while the discussion of the various modifications of these differences does not belong to this chapter1 yet the recognition of the fact itself and a noting of the beneficial1 reactionary and reciprocal effects are pre-eminently in place just at this point4 ,the active nature of the sperm of the male and the passivity which distinguishes the ovum of the female characterize the two sexes from the beginning to the end of their existence4 ,the greater activity of the sperm1 the quickened pulse of the male child at birth1 the more restless nature of the boy-baby1 his running1 climbing1 active life throughout childhood and adolescence--these traits characterize not only his boyhood1 his days of developing manhood1 but his marital relations as well4 ,with rare exceptions1 both of person and of instances1 in married life all the sexual aggressiveness is with the male4 ,wives seldom seek the closer embraces of their husbands4 ,they are generally indifferent2 often absolutely averse4 ,with the husband1 while in perfect health1 the conditions are quite the opposite2 and the wisdom of the ,creator is manifest in the fact that were the wife equally quickened by the same amative tendencies1 the male nature would be called into such frequent and continuous exercise that the power of reproduction would be either totally destroyed or so impaired that the race would degenerate into moral1 intellectual and physical pigmies4 ,god has made the passivity of the wife the protection of her husband and a source of manifold blessing to their children4 ,upon the other hand1 her uninterrupted and entire neglect of the sexual relation is wisely overcome1 to the advantage of the wife1 by her husband's greater sexual activity1 while at the same time her restraining passiveness is made his safeguard and security4 ,each brings into the married relation inclinations and propensities which are to modify the other1 to the mutual benefit of both4 ,if husbands and wives only knew and adequately realized these facts1 and harmonized their thought and conduct toward each other accordingly1 much of the discord1 estrangement and consequent unhappiness in married life would be eliminated and disappear4 ,when both alike recognize these differences and the ,wisdom which has made them to differ1 and when each is willing to accept the modifying influence of the other in the manner in which ,god has intended1 the discord and misery which blight thousands of lives and destroy such multitudes of homes will give place to a benediction and blessing which will restore to earth a larger measure of the happiness of ,eden4 ,but before closing this chapter upon the complemental differences between the two sexes1 it will be interesting to observe some remarkable similarities in the reproductive organs themselves1 and to note how1 in that infinite wisdom which is marvelous in our eyes1 ,god has so modified their form and office that the external organs of reproduction in man become the internal and seemingly different organs of reproduction in woman4 ,to understand the full significance of what we have briefly to say upon this subject it will be well to recall the fact that in man and animals even those physical characteristics which may be regarded as strictly feminine are present in a rudimentary form in the male1 and vice versa4 ,let a single instance suffice4 ,the paps and breasts of the male are but the diminutive and dormant breasts and nipples of the female2 and this is true not only with man1 but with the lower animals4 ,the male not only simulates but really possesses in rudimentary form all the parts and powers which characterize the fuller development in the opposite sex4 ,that this is true is demonstrated by the cases of abnormal sexual development which at long intervals are born in different lands1 and by the occasional instances in heathen countries where old men1 after prolonged stimulation of the breasts1 are made effectively to serve as nurses for infants4 ,as the pelvic bone in man and woman is modified by the various changes of form which adapt it to the different necessities of each sex1 so in a large measure are the reproductive organs1 primarily1 the same in men and women4 ,if you enlarge the curve of the pelvic frontal1 then press the scrotum or sack of the male upward into the body1 it will correspond to the vagina and the womb of the female4 ,move the testicles to the right and the left and you have their counterparts1 the ovaries1 while the spermatic cords form the ,fallopian tubes for the passage of the completely formed ovum from the ovaries to the womb4 ,without materially disturbing its position1 diminish the sexual member of the male and you have the clitoris of the female4 ,it is readily seen that with these changes of position1 together with slight modifications of form and function1 those parts which to the unobservant and the unthoughtful seem wholly different in the two sexes are1 after all1 discovered to be only diversified forms of the same thing4 ,but this very fact1 however1 invests the study of this subject with increased interest1 and displays in an unexpected manner the wonderful wisdom which characterizes everything that ,god has created2 for as these organs take upon themselves the modifications of either sex1 every other organ and faculty that together constitute the individual must be so modified as to adjust the physical1 intellectual1 social and moral natures into harmonious unity of personality4 ,,chapter ,,iv4 ,,essentials ,,in ,,husband ,,and ,,home4 ,before writing of what a young husband ought to know with regard to his wife and his children1 subjects which are to engage our thought in ,part ,second and ,part ,third1 it is important that we should carefully consider some matters which he ought to know concerning himself2 for his future happiness1 and usefulness as well1 will be quite as much dependent upon the mental1 physical and moral equipment which he personally brings to the union as the endowments and qualifications which are possessed by his partner and companion4 ,if your wife is to have a fair chance for a pleasant home and a happy and useful life1 she will need a husband who can sacrifice his personal luxuries and self-indulgences in order that he may share with her and the family the comforts and blessings of their home--a man who will scorn the saloon1 avoid the club1 remain away from the lodge1 give up his cigar1 and spend his time and his money for the comfort and happiness of his family4 ,there are hundreds of homes which are rendered unhappy1 and in many senses miserable1 because of the neglect and want which are due wholly to the selfishness and lack of consideration upon the part of the husband4 ,if you wish to preserve and perpetuate that which is noblest and best in your wife and your children1 you can only do so by making your home the centre of your thought1 and by making your loved ones the sharers of your purse and your pleasures4 ,if you wish them to live for your comfort and happiness1 they have an equal right to expect you to live and sacrifice for their comfort and happiness4 ,almost any promising bride may soon be made an ill-tempered wife1 a discontented homekeeper and an indifferent mother by an improvident1 extravagant1 selfish and neglectful husband4 ,in most instances1 ruined homes come principally from drink1 idleness1 bad temper1 shiftlessness and thriftless habits1 brutal husbands1 slatternly wives and ,christless living4 ,do your duty faithfully to your wife and your children1 and then1 if home and happiness are wrecked1 the responsibility will not rest upon you4 ,in woman1 the love of home is usually more dominant than in man4 ,by cultivating this in yourself you will produce a harmony of thought and purpose which will contribute greatly to the comfort and well-being of both4 ,adorn your home with your own hands4 ,beautify the lawn1 the shrubbery1 and all external surroundings4 ,it matters not how great your wealth1 or how small your purse1 every consideration1 effort and sacrifice you make in these directions will add to your own health and happiness and endear you to your wife4 ,in the development of this common interest1 you may secure in your own experience and the experience of your wife that happiness which is so manifest in springtime in the united industry of the two robins as they mold and fashion the nest together1 moved by a common impulse and the premonition of the birdlings that are soon to be4 ,be devoted4 ,keep up your courtship4 ,remember and repeat the little attentions which gave you pleasure months and years ago simply because you knew that they were a source of pleasure to the one whom you coveted as your bride and companion for life4 ,how can your wife love and respect you if you neglect and forsake her8 ,during your courtship1 the club1 the lodge and the society of others had to accept second place4 ,you preferred her company to that of all others4 ,if you are to her and she to you what each should be1 this preference of the one for the society and companionship of the other will continue throughout life4 ,your home will be your clubhouse1 and no society1 or gilded hall1 or corner grocery with its lounging company1 will be able to attract you from her and from your home4 ,most men who frequent these places are attracted there2 but some go there because repelled from their homes4 ,there are women whose inconsiderate treatment of their husbands repels them from their families and their homes1 and the husbands simply resort to the club or other place of assemblage in their natural search for a place of refuge and fellowship4 ,but such instances are the exception4 ,in the majority of cases the fault is largely1 if not wholly1 with the husband4 ,oftentimes his conduct is due to his thoughtlessness1 but more frequently to pure selfishness4 ,recently the writer called at the home of a mechanic to secure his services in a job of work4 ,it was between eight and nine o'clock in the evening1 and quite dark4 ,for some time no one answered our knock4 ,finally a young wife1 looking pale1 weary and lonely1 bearing a large lamp in one hand and a small child on the other arm1 opened the door of the desolate home4 ,we had a right to expect to find the husband and father at home1 but no2 to our inquiry we were told that we would likely find him at the toll-gate1 the harness-maker's1 or the grocery4 ,unless indications were deceptive1 here was a case of cold indifference and selfish neglect4 ,would that this were a rare instance2 but there are thousands of such in all circles of society in our cities and towns1 and in the country as well4 ,we clip the following suggestive incident1 and submit it as pertinent at this place3 ',my home shall be my clubhouse' said a young1 unmarried1 traveling-man1 when returning from a visit to a former friend who had married and lived in a pleasant home4 ,almost the first words the latter spoke1 as his visitor seated himself in the parlor1 was3 ',i want you to go over with me and see our nice1 new clubrooms4' ,but ,i did not come to see them1 was the reply2 ,i came to see you and your family4 ,that you can do anyhow1 was the response1 so please get ready and we will go over and spend the evening there with a nice lot of friends4 ,further protest seemed ungracious1 so the visitor yielded4 ,hour after hour passed by1 and it was midnight before the visitor could induce his host1 who was beginning to feel the effects of a night's drinking and revelry1 to accompany him to his home4 ,in the morning the host1 who evidently felt that nothing had transpired at the clubrooms that could be objected to1 asked his friend1 ',well1 what is your opinion of our clubroom accommodations8' ,the rooms are very nicely furnished1 was the rather evasive reply4 ,but what ,i want to know is1 how did you enjoy yourself in them8 ,as further evasion was useless1 the guest said3 ',you are asking me a plain question1 and ,i will answer it frankly4 ,i am a single man1 and expect soon to get married4 ,if ,i continue to prosper1 ,i intend to settle down in a comfortable home1 and spend my evenings with my wife and my children4 ,as for your clubrooms1 if ,i wanted to neglect my family and my business1 and perhaps go to ruin1 ,i think ,i could soon bring about that result by spending my evenings in your clubrooms2 and ,i am more resolved than ever that when ,i am once married my home shall be my clubhouse4' ,now1 we would not seem to indicate that the only proper place for the husband is in the house--that he should not go out in the evening for diversion1 social fellowship1 or recreation4 ,not at all4 ,these things are often necessary for his health1 his happiness and his well-being4 ,but are they not as essential to the health1 the happiness and well-being of the wife as of the husband8 ,if he seeks diversion in the evenings1 let it be where his wife may accompany him1 and share whatever benefits he enjoys4 ,if family duties or the care of children render it impossible for both to leave home at the same time1 then manifestly it is the duty of the husband to divide the advantages and disadvantages with the wife2 and if the husband has the true father-spirit1 the privilege of frequently remaining at home to spend the evening with his children will afford more pleasure and more profit than could be secured elsewhere4 ,the husband should plan and arrange to give his wife a proper amount of relaxation and diversion4 ,the limitations of her restricted life make recreation and relaxation essential to the maintenance of good health and a cheerful disposition4 ,but1 in all your planning and arrangements1 remember that relaxation and diversion may be secured within the home as well as without1 and can be there enjoyed by the children also1 and by others who may chance to share the home with you4 ,if you and your wife have true father-love and mother-love1 you will prefer home and the companionship of your children to any other place1 and to the company of any other person or persons4 ,faithful husbands and wives and well-poised parents will need no specific directions in these matters4 ,they will know how to care for their children1 and at the same time not sacrifice health and cheeriness4 ,these are important subjects for the thoughtful consideration of young husbands1 and older ones also2 and while upon this matter1 it may be well for those of us who are too apt to delegate to the wife the whole duty of making the home cheery and happy1 to read and think upon the following from the pen of ,dr4 ,isaac ,farrar3 ,how do you go home to your wife after business hours8 ,do you not frequently find a tired woman1 who has been so hard at work all day with the care of three or four babies1 and an incompetent hired girl1 that she has found no time to make an afternoon toilet1 to meet you as you would like to have her on your return8 ,try and be a sympathizing husband now2 embrace your faithful wife and say to her3 ',never mind1 my dear1 ,i'm home early to-night4 ,come now1 go and rest yourself1 while ,i put little ,clarence and ,addie to bed1 and if ,frank comes in for his supper ,i will tell ,bridget what to get for him4' ,are you mindful of draughts and slamming doors while she takes her rest for an hour or so1 and can you not induce her to take that rest every day8 ,remember her days are long1 just as busy1 and more full of petty cares than yours4 ,a woman is required to be everything1 from a reception committee to receive calls in the parlor1 to a nurse in the nursery and a chief executive in the kitchen2 while a business man devotes himself to a single trade or profession4 ,when you undertake to entertain your wife the evenings you are at home1 do not have too much to say about the 'scarcity of money2' for perhaps1 in her particular case1 she knows as much about that as you do2 and if the wood and coal bills are larger every year1 remember that your family is larger as well2 and do not tell her the general dislike you have for children unless they are angels1 for they cannot quite be angels during their stay here on earth4 ,when the children are in bed and the house quiet1 do not seat yourself in the easy chair and read the newspaper to yourself1 from editorials to market reports1 as if it contained nothing that would interest an intelligent woman4 ,newspapers read in selfish solitude by thoughtless husbands have made the 'rift within the lute' in more than one happy home4 ,how many anecdotes and stories do you tell your wife to provoke a smile or a laugh8 ,how many roses or pinks do you pin on your coat1 and how many do you bring home to her8 ,are you careful of your own appearance in the long evenings when there is no other woman but her to be captivated by your manly charms8 ,i am inclined to believe there is more excuse for her1 if her dress has not been changed1 her hair made tidy1 than there is for you1 most noble husband6 ,perhaps you never gave it a thought2 but do not excuse your indifference and neglect of fond attentions1 for they are just as dear to that careworn wife of yours at forty-five1 or even fifty1 years as at twenty-two1 when you promised her that you would be true and faithful to her through life's journey4 ,have you honorably kept your word8 ,your answer may be3 ',my wife knows ,i love her1 and that's enough4' ,she may know it1 but it is a pleasant thing to be assured of now and then1 and if there were more everyday assurances there would be fewer careless1 heart-starved wives4 ,it is the nature of all women to love to be wooed and won1 and after marriage the same nature craves attention1 tenderness1 and the expression of appreciation1 affection and love4 ,no man1 even if he were so sordid and selfish as to be moved by no less base or no more worthy motive than the satisfaction of his own sensual nature and consideration for his own personal comfort1 could afford to withhold the expression of at least some measure of thoughtful consideration and attention4 ,but any home in which such feelings have to be feigned1 because they cannot truly be felt1 is one in which commiseration and pity need to have a large place4 ,should you ever note upon the part of your own wife the slightest manifestation of indifference and estrangement1 put away from your lips1 and even from your heart1 all words of reproof and reproach1 and try again the methods that enabled you to win the affections of your wife months and years ago4 ,we grant you that there are some women who are regular ,xantippes1 whom no philosopher can manage1 of whom we have given illustrious examples in the lives of some eminent men in the preceding volume1 but let us hope that they are not numerous4 ,there are men1 and not a few of them1 we fear1 who are doomed to disappointment in marriage4 ,it does not take them long to discover the discrepancy between what they thought marriage to be and what it really is4 ,they soon regard this union a mistake1 and in a few years1 and some even in a few months1 denounce marriage as a failure4 ,the truth is that the sole and only failure is found in the mistaken and unworthy views held1 concerning marriage1 by one or both parties to the contract4 ,marriage is no failure1 but these men are themselves the failures4 ,they belong to a class who hold most degraded views concerning woman and her relation to her husband in marriage4 ,they regard woman as having been created solely to gratify the unbridled lust of man4 ,they married with the idea that in such a union the grossest lust would have the sanction of law1 and that in the marriage ceremony the wife relinquished all right to her own body1 and for the satisfaction of wearing the white veil and carrying a bouquet of flowers consented to surrender to him not only her rights1 but her sense of decency as well4 ,these men who stare decency out of countenance upon the street1 who lay traps for the ruin of innocent and unsuspecting girls1 who invade the sanctity of home1 and whose course through life is like the slimy trail of a venomous serpent1 are unfit for marriage--they are unfit to be regarded even as men4 ,no man1 it matters not how full his bank account or how fine his clothes1 if he holds these low views of woman and of the wife's place in the marriage relation1 is worthy of a wife1 for he dishonors his own mother and sisters1 dishonors every right-thinking man1 and his ,maker as well4 ,any man who has in him the seeds of such unworthy sentiments may be sure that even though they may be hidden during the earlier years1 they will soon grow1 and hasten to a harvest of terrible fruitage4 ,the happiness of many homes is wrecked in the early struggle to determine whether the will of the wife or the will of the husband shall have pre-eminence4 ,we have even heard brides boasting that in trivial matters they contended with their husbands in order to teach them from the very beginning that they did not propose to recognize any superior right in the husband to direct1 or1 as they said1 to boss it over them4 ,brides often object to the word obey in the marriage service1 and instead of using the words ,love1 honor and obey1 the substitution is often made of ,love1 honor and cherish1 or reverence4 ,if the word obey is understood by the husband to mean imperious domination1 then it had better be universally expunged4 ,yet1 nevertheless1 there is a great deal of truth in the declaration of ,napoleon that he would rather have his army in command of one poor general than of two good ones4 ,the careful execution of an ordinary plan is much better than that which comes as the result of divergent views and conflicting opinions4 ,in an address delivered before the ,first ,national ,congress of ,mothers held in ,washington1 ,hamilton ,cushing1 the chief of the ,ethnological ,department of the ,government1 gave a very interesting account of the custom among the ,zuni ,indians1 who recognize the pre-eminence of the female in everything4 ,the men are not even allowed to hold or to have any right in property1 other than through their wives1 mothers or sisters4 ,in many marriage unions the wife is easily the intellectual superior of her husband1 but the universal custom among civilized nations is to recognize the husband as the head of the house4 ,this is the ,christian idea1 and the plain teaching of ,scripture2 not1 however1 in that mistaken sense which is so often intended when the words are quoted3 ,the husband is the head of the wife4 ,the ,scriptures nowhere justify a husband in assuming imperious domination over his wife4 ,he is the head of the wife1 but in that loving1 considerate sense even as ,christ is the head of the ,church4 ,the ,scriptural teaching is so important and so beautiful that we insert here1 in their entirety1 two of the principal selections upon this subject4 ,that which relates to the wife we have printed in italics1 and that which relates to the husband we have printed in small capitals4 ,but to understand the relation of these two co-ordinate truths1 it is necessary that the reader should note carefully the entire context4 ,paul1 in the fifth chapter of his letter to the ,ephesians1 from the twenty-second to the thirty-third verse1 writes as follows3 ,wives1 submit yourselves unto your own husbands1 as unto the ,lord4 ,for the husband is the head of the wife1 even as ,christ is the head of the church3 and he is the ,saviour of the body4 ,therefore as the church is subject unto ,christ1 so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything4 ,,husbands1 ,,love ,,your ,,wives1 ,,even ,,as ,,christ ,,also ,,loved ,,the ,,church1 ,,and ,,gave ,,himself ,,for ,,it2 that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word1 that he might present it to himself a glorious church1 not having spot1 or wrinkle1 or any such thing2 but that it should be holy and without blemish4 ,,so ,,ought ,,men ,,to ,,love ,,their ,,wives ,,as ,,their ,,own ,,bodies4 ,he that loveth his own wife loveth himself4 ,for no man ever yet hated his own flesh2 but nourisheth and cherisheth it1 even as the ,lord the church3 for we are members of his body1 of his flesh1 and of his bones4 ,for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother1 and shall be joined unto his wife1 and they two shall be one flesh4 ,this is a great mystery3 but ,i speak concerning ,christ and the church4 ,nevertheless1 let every one of you in particular ,,so ,,love ,,his ,,wife ,,even ,,as ,,himself2 and the wife see that she reverence her husband4 ,here is clearly and beautifully set forth the correct relative pre-eminence in the home4 ,it is the wife recognizing the headship of her husband1 as the ,church recognizes the headship1 leadership and authority of ,christ4 ,upon the part of the husband1 his headship is to be exercised in the spirit of that abounding love which led the ,son of ,god to the sacrifice of ,himself1 both during ,his life and in ,his atoning death1 for the salvation and blessing of that body of believers who constitute the ,christian ,church4 ,the teachings of ,peter in his first general letter1 or epistle1 in the third chapter1 from the first to the seventh verse1 is as follows3 ,likewise1 ye wives1 be in subjection to your own husbands2 that1 if any obey not the word1 they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives2 while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear4 ,whose adorning1 let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair1 and of wearing of gold1 or of putting on of apparel2 but let it be the hidden man of the heart1 in that which is not corruptible1 even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit1 which is in the sight of ,god of great price4 ,for after this manner in the old time the holy women also1 who trusted in ,god1 adorned themselves1 being in subjection unto their own husbands3 even as ,sarah obeyed ,abraham1 calling him lord3 whose daughters ye are1 as long as ye do well1 and are not afraid with any amazement4 ,,likewise1 ,,ye ,,husbands1 ,,dwell ,,with ,,them ,,according ,,to ,,knowledge1 ,,giving ,,honor ,,unto ,,the ,,wife1 as unto the weaker vessel1 and ,,as ,,being ,,heirs ,,together ,,of ,,the ,,grace ,,of ,,life2 that your prayers be not hindered4 ,here the teaching is also very beautiful and impressive4 ,the wife is to be in subjection to a considerate and loving ,christian husband because it is her privilege and honor2 but even though her husband be no ,christian1 one who obeys not the ,word1 still she is to recognize and conform to this teaching1 to the end that by her consistent ,christian deportment1 and that adorning of the hidden man of the heart which is to be exhibited in a meek and quiet spirit she may win him to a life with ,christ4 ,the husband is to dwell with his wife according to knowledge1 not in ignorance of the peculiar organs and functions of her reproductive nature2 for ,peter here manifestly refers specially to this1 for with wonderful beauty he lifts the marital relation into a holy and sacred light by calling attention to the fact that the husband and the wife are heirs together of the grace of life4 ,in other words1 ,god has taken his power as the ,creator of life--think of it6 as ,creator--and made the husband and the wife joint heirs together of this grace or gift of creative power1 which power they call into exercise in the act of reproduction4 ,surely1 intelligence and reverence are essential1 both in the husband and in the wife1 in order that they may dwell together according to knowledge4 ,it would scarcely seem necessary to enjoin industry as an essential to happiness in married life2 and yet the happiness of many homes is wrecked on the rocks of ease and idleness4 ,an idle person is like the ship that simply floats upon the seas without a cargo1 and without a destination4 ,there are ten thousand directions to shipwreck1 but only one course that will bring the mariner to any desired port in safety4 ,in making labor essential1 ,god conferred a great blessing upon man4 ,the idle man is an unhappy man1 and the idle woman is an unhappy woman4 ,industry is essential to the maintenance of good health1 to the proper poise and manly mastery of the sexual nature1 to a contented mind1 a cheerful disposition1 to happiness in the home and spirituality in the life4 ,whatever of incentive the past may have lacked1 no young husband1 unless he is without true manhood1 can look into the face of his devoted wife and dependent children without being inspired by the obligation which rests upon him to make adequate provision for every present need and future emergency4 ,his energy1 his effort1 his wisdom are largely to determine not only the present and future1 but also the temporal and eternal destiny of those who gather in dependence about him4 ,let these be your inspiration4 ,not all men can amass wealth2 nor is this essential4 ,remember there are many things secured by industry and effort which are more precious than gold4 ,while a competence is desirable1 large wealth is seldom a great blessing4 ,there is a world of sound philosophy in the declaration of a very rich man who said3 ,i worked like a slave until ,i was forty to make my fortune1 and ,i have been watching it like a detective ever since--for which ,i have received only my lodging1 food and clothes4 ,a noble purpose1 seconded by manly endeavor1 will secure for your heart and your home what wealth cannot purchase4 ,we would be alike untrue to your best interests and unfaithful to ,him who has called us to the delicate and difficult task we have undertaken in the preparation of these pages did we not say something concerning that which is highest and best in you1 and which the ,creator designed should dominate over every other department of your nature--namely1 the religious or moral nature4 ,if you want your wife to be happy1 do not ask her to struggle onward and upward alone in the ,christian life4 ,she will be lonely if the dearest of earthly friends is unwilling to travel heavenward with her4 ,you will double her difficulties if in your life and example you deny the correctness of her precepts and her life4 ,even if you propose to yourself a life of moral rectitude1 yet1 to your children1 you will become only a stationary guide-board1 pointing to their feet the way in which ,god intended that you should be a living guide4 ,you have not done your duty when you have simply permitted the ,saviour to come into your home as the guest of your wife and the ,saviour of your children4 ,he comes to be a guest in your heart1 as well as in your home4 ,he comes not only to save your wife and your children1 but to save you--to save the father1 with the wife and the children4 ,it is not enough1 my dear brother1 that you give something now and then toward the support of the church1 that you send your children to ,sunday-school1 that you attend divine service now and then4 ,your wife and children cannot go to heaven for you4 ,their lonely struggle is saddened by your absence1 and the thought that after having dwelt together with you upon the earth you may be forever separated from them in eternity4 ,let me appeal to you as an honest man4 ,what is your duty in this matter8 ,your duty to your wife1 to your children1 to yourself1 and to your ,god8 ,if we were to look upon this subject simply in the light of temporal good1 all the arguments would be in favor of living a ,christian life4 ,even if you were to consider this subject on its very lowest plane1 you should desire for your wife and your family those larger material blessings which are secured by a religious life4 ,christians have not only the promise of the life that is to come1 but they have the promise also of the life that now is4 ,paul says3 ,godliness is profitable unto all things1 having the promise of the life that now is1 and of that which is to come4 ,we grant you that not every ,christian is encumbered with large wealth2 neither is every irreligious man plunged into poverty4 ,while there are here and there instances where ungodly men are possessors of large wealth1 these instances are exceptional1 and the ,scriptural reason not difficult to find4 ,their riches may be due to the fulfillment of the promise that ,god will visit blessings upon the children of the righteous from generation to generation4 ,these people may have had praying and ,god-fearing parents1 and on that account the children1 in harmony with ,scriptural promise1 are now being crowned with the consequent blessings4 ,or1 it may be1 as the ,scripture declares1 that the wealth of the wicked is being laid up for the just1 and the present wicked possessor may simply be holding this wealth in trust for the righteous descendants who are to come after him4 ,or1 it may be1 that ,god is seeking the salvation of this ungodly individual1 for ,he tells us that the goodness of the ,lord is designed to lead us to repentance4 ,the actual conditions are not to be determined by taking an exceptional example among the irreligious1 but by dividing society as a whole into two classes1 and then the result is seen at a glance4 ,in the one class you have the profane1 the vicious1 the intemperate1 the dishonest1 the law-breakers1 and the defiers of ,god and man4 ,to this class belongs every man who staggers1 reels and falls into the gutter1 every tramp who walks the road1 and nine-tenths of all the persons who fill our almshouses4 ,it includes1 with scarcely an exception1 every man and woman who fill our prisons and reformatory institutions2 those who crowd the great tenements and live in filth and squalor in the slums of our cities2 those whose bodies reek with physical and moral rottenness--these1 and many others1 constitute the class of the ungodly1 and no attentive person can fail to observe that this is the character of that portion which the ungodly have in this world4 ,now1 turn to the other class4 ,walk up and down the streets where you find the most comfortable homes1 the largest dwellings1 the abodes of the most affluent and respectable in any city1 and then answer the question1 whether or no the wealth of the nation is not to-day largely in the hands of ,christian men and ,christian women8 ,these are the people who have the best credit1 who can draw checks for the largest amounts4 ,among this class you will find the most influential in business1 the owners of our largest mercantile establishments4 ,men who direct and control the commerce of the world4 ,men who are at the head of our largest banking institutions1 railroad and other corporations4 ,but not only so4 ,these are the people who dwell in the best homes1 who eat the best food1 who have the largest amount of material comforts4 ,they are the people who enjoy the best health1 who have the brightest minds1 who produce the best books1 the most helpful literature4 ,they have the brightest eyes and the strongest bodies1 and when cholera and plague come and sweep away men and women by thousands1 it scarcely ever crosses the line which separates these from the intemperate and the vicious1 who go down before these scourges like grass before the sickle4 ,truly1 my dear friend1 if you are to look at it only from this lowest plane of present good and material comfort1 godly living will bring to you the promise of the life that now is1 and in addition you will also have the promise of the life which is to come1 a part in the first resurrection1 a place at ,christ's right hand1 and the promise of sitting upon a throne judging the nations--you shall be among those who in triumph enter the eternal city1 and receive crowns and robes and palms of victory and eternal rest at ,god's right hand4 ,you cannot afford to neglect the spiritual1 which is the highest and best of your threefold nature4 ,you should call your entire being into fullest exercise4 ,a ,christian is the highest type of manhood1 and you owe it to your wife and to your children1 as well as to yourself and to your ,master1 to be satisfied with nothing short of this4 ,if troubled with doubt you will find the difficulty in your own heart4 ,if infidels have filled your mind with misgiving1 or suggested unbelief1 read ,christianity's ,challenge1,a ,a ,square ,talk to ,young ,men1,b and various other volumes of the ,anti-,infidel ,library4,c ,a ,christianity's ,challenge1 by ,rev4 ,dr4 ,herrick ,johnson1 ,american ,tract ,society1 #bfi pages1 price #a4jj4 ,b ,a ,square ,talk to ,young ,men1 #id pages1 price #ej cents1 by ,h4 ,l4 ,hastings1 ,scriptural ,tract ,repository1 ,boston1 ,mass41 #di ,cornhill street4 ,c ,the ,anti-,infidel ,library in tract form1 #e cents each1 by ,h4 ,l4 ,hastings1 ,scriptural ,tract ,repository1 #di ,cornhill street1 ,boston1 ,mass4 ,,chapter ,v4 ,,the ,,physical ,,cost ,,of ,,procreation4 ,before a ship sails from port with its valuable cargo of goods and its priceless freightage of life1 they do what is called boxing the compass4 ,naturally the compass would point to the true north1 but because of the character of the cargo the needle may be diverted from the true north4 ,to discover whether such local influences exist1 they test and correct the compass4 ,the deviation from the true north might be very slight1 and in a very short voyage the error might not result in serious consequences1 but the interests involved are too momentous to permit of any risk4 ,before entering upon the new voyage of married life it is essential1 for the purity and safety of the two who enter upon it1 and also for the well-being of the other lives which may subsequently be added to the family1 that the principles by which husband and wife are to be guided should be carefully examined1 that errors may be discovered and corrected1 for the wrecking of a ship is of less moment than the wrecking of human lives1 for these involve not only temporal1 but eternal destinies4 ,the false impressions which young people oftentimes get is due to the general absence of truthfulness upon the part of older and more experienced persons in their conversations upon the subject of the sexual relation4 ,notwithstanding the fact that the questions which gather about the subjects of sex are of vast moment1 yet these subjects have been so little written or spoken about in a pure and reverent way that1 for the most part1 pure-minded and honest people have banished the subject from the round of ordinary conversation4 ,this abandonment of a sacred subject by the pure and truthful has resulted in the general ignorance and prevailing errors4 ,among the vile and impure the subject is much talked of1 and because of the lack of correct knowledge1 statements of the most exaggerated1 unreasonable and oftentimes impossible are generally accepted as veritable truth4 ,in dealing both with themselves and others1 men are more deceitful and untruthful upon this subject than perhaps upon any other4 ,it is because of these facts that the young and inexperienced so often form the most exaggerated and unreliable opinions upon subjects relating to the relation of the sexes4 ,that we may the better understand the whole question of the sexual relation it may be well to study the reproductive life of plants and the lower forms of animal life4 ,the knowledge of the lessons they have to teach may prove a profitable subject for thoughtful consideration and lead to valuable conclusions for guidance in the relation between husband and wife4 ,if with our desire to start with one of the lowest forms of life we go to the pond and run our finger under the green scum which floats upon its surface1 we will find one of the simplest forms of vegetable growth1 known as spirogyra4 ,the innumerable threads of green are quite like hairs that lie side by side1 in close proximity but not in contact4 ,under the microscope each of these green threads is composed of long tube-like cells1 placed end to end and forming a continuous growth4 ,under the microscope they very much resemble what in country districts is called bullrushes1 or the different sections of a bamboo walking-stick or fishing-rod4 ,in the spring days1 when this growth of green approaches its maturity1 it arrives at that mysterious time when the future urgently appeals to it1 when each cell feels a strange and irresistible attraction to its neighbor cell4 ,each reaches out toward the other until a contact is formed1 a perfect union is effected1 a new germ is created1 and the old cells are left lifeless and perish4 ,the union which results in the production of the fertilized seed1 in which abides the spirogyra of another springtime1 while its beginning costs the life of the parent plant1 the verdure that lived in the green scum has passed away1 the new germs fall to the bottom of the pond1 where1 through the drought of summer or the ice and cold of winter1 they abide in the sure resurrection of that new life which is to come with the returning springtime4 ,in the higher forms of life similar illustrations of the great parental sacrifice involved in the act of reproduction are frequently found4 ,this is specially seen among the fishes4 ,during the reproductive weeks life speeds along with great intensity4 ,under the flow of that larger vitality which greatly quickens and augments certain parts of the organism1 the fish increase in size1 every part seems to attain its perfection and beauty1 and the parent fishes yield themselves1 to a reproductive impulse that proves fatal to millions of them4 ,after a cod has expelled its million or more of eggs there is not much left of its own body4 ,there is diminished vitality in every part4 ,the male loses his appetite4 ,great physical changes result4 ,the skin which covers his shrunken body changes in color1 his nature becomes irritable and resentful1 and he indulges in fierce combats with his fellows4 ,the fatigue attendant upon the long journeys undertaken by the salmon during the spawning season and the exhausting effects of the fertilizing effort are so great that few survive the trying ordeal4 ,the same results are practically true with regard to the shad4 ,somewhat analogous changes and results occur with the female1 but they are less marked and less destructive4 ,the male is characterized by a more intense activity1 while her more quiet nature is her greater safeguard4 ,the exhaustive and often fatal effects of the reproductive act are very manifest in insect life4 ,among the insects the reproductive act of the male seems to round out the purpose and complete the period of his life4 ,the exhaustive act is oftentimes speedily followed by death4 ,this same fatal termination is also experienced by the female after she has completed the work of developing and depositing the germ in some place suited for its protection and adapted to its eventual development and growth4 ,in many instances the fertilizing principle is transferred from the body of the male to that of the female during flight1 and1 strange as it may seem1 the intromittent organ of the male and the ovipositor of the female develop and continue only for that brief period which is necessary for the transference of the quickening principle and for the depositing of the egg in a place of safety4 ,the hive with its hundreds of bees affords an interesting illustration of the subject in hand4 ,the male bee is a drone4 ,his only purpose in life seems to be to await the period when the queen bee in her instinctive desire to perpetuate the life of the swarm is ready to receive the sperm-cells from the male4 ,the drone is stingless and helpless4 ,the germ of the queen bee was developed in a special cell1 was fed on royal food and tenderly reared4 ,her office is not only to preside over the destinies of the swarm1 but to her alone is assigned the entire work of reproduction4 ,she never leaves the hive but once1 and then upon her nuptial flight1 accompanied by a male bee4 ,when the wedding journey is over1 and the queen bee has received the sperm from the male1 his work is done and his destiny is sealed4 ,death then ensues either by natural laws1 or he is stung to death by the workers1 who now regard him as an unnecessary burden upon the gathered stores of the hive4 ,the queen bee receives the sperm but once1 and then1 in a mysterious receptacle which ,providence has provided1 the sperm is stored1 and for months1 and even for years1 for the supply has been known to last for five years1 and during this time the millions of eggs which the queen bee lays are each fertilized at will1 and1 strange to say1 her wonderful prolificness does not result in her exhaustion and death1 and to prevent this sad result1 her hive-mates make it their care that she shall be bountifully nourished with the most sumptuous food4 ,with the birds1 death1 as the result of the reproductive act1 disappears4 ,the loss which they sustain in reproductive material is comparatively small1 yet something of what this costs is manifest by the noticeable changes which take place immediately after they enter upon the mating season4 ,the plumage loses its lustre1 the song becomes less frequent and less ecstatic1 and the incoming tides of life1 which reached their fullness at the period of mating1 ebb and recede4 ,among the higher forms of animal existence the duration of life is greatly prolonged4 ,the number of the offspring is greatly reduced4 ,the ovum of the female and the sperm of the male become microscopic4 ,the germ of life remains within the body of the mother until it has reached that stage of development which fits it for its independent life in the outer world4 ,the period from conception to birth is greatly prolonged1 and the periods of deliverance from the necessity of the reproductive act are alike extended4 ,the higher in the scale the more dependent the offspring1 until in the instance of man the offspring is the most helpless and dependent of all4 ,the prolonged dependence of the child upon the care of its parents is calculated to abate the fervor and force of reproductive inclination4 ,while in man the reproductive act is not the precursor of death1 yet it is the premonition of that event and the instinctive effort which nature makes to prevent the extermination of the race4 ,the inclination to beget descendants is a premonition of the physical dissolution which awaits the individual1 and the act itself is always more or less exhaustive to the male1 and its results1 if too oft repeated1 or at periods of brief duration1 are disastrous to the female4 ,notwithstanding these tendencies and results1 yet reproduction is the expression of the fullness of physical life and vital force4 ,its inclination and desire is both normal and necessary1 yet it should always be remembered that the increased activity of the reproductive system is secured at the cost of diminished force throughout the remainder of the entire body4 ,no man during the period of the exercise of his reproductive nature is as strong intellectually1 physically1 or in any other department of his entire being1 as during the periods when he is sexually self-contained1 or is resting in the calm of sexual repose4 ,in the lower forms of life the reproductive flame bursts out into one all-consuming conflagration1 exhausting to the male and eventually terminating with fatal results to the female4 ,in man this fire burns with a more steady glow1 bursting forth occasionally into more intense activity1 and then subsiding1 but always vitalizing and giving energy to all his powers1 and no man can fan this flame into a continuous conflagration without suffering the most ruinous results and disastrous consequences4 ,among the lower forms of life the reproductive inclination of the male recurs at those periods when his mate is in the condition necessary to the procreation of the species4 ,after the act of procreation1 the sexual passion in both subsides1 and the reproductive function is not again called into exercise until after the intervening weeks or months of repose have passed and nature again responds to the necessity of procreation for the purpose of perpetuating the species4 ,where the periods of ovulation and fecundity recur at brief intervals in the female1 the reproductive nature of the male is in a more continuous state of activity1 so that a fruitful union may be secured when the reproductive nature of the female is in readiness2 but this by no means indicates any physical necessity or reasonable justification for the constant or even frequent exercise of the reproductive function4 ,strict continence is not injurious1 either to the unmarried or to the married4 ,thousands of married men and women are suffering from the effects of excessive sexual indulgence4 ,they drain their physical powers1 weaken the intellect1 and fail to attain the happiness and grand results which would otherwise be possible to them4 ,all who are familiar with the care of plants know that the best way to preserve their bloom and beauty is to restrain the consummation of the reproductive act4 ,prevent them from going to seed and the flowers continue to bloom4 ,remove the anther from the lily and the flower will not fade so soon by several hours4 ,the same is true with the insects4 ,where they can be prevented from losing their vitalizing sperm they live on beyond the limits of others of their kind who are left free to exercise the privilege of reproduction4 ,an instance is given of a butterfly which continued to live for over two years in a hot-house1 while the ordinary period of life to those which exercise the reproductive power complete and end their career in a few short days4 ,there are times when married people should observe the strictest continence4 ,a state of partial or total intoxication is a just cause for either a husband or wife to deny to the other all marital privileges4 ,conception at such a time is more than likely to result in the production of idiots or epileptics4 ,the cases on record are too numerous and too well authenticated to admit of doubt in regard to the terrible consequences of conception under such circumstances4 ,during sickness or convalescence procreation is not only highly injurious to the individual1 but at any period before the physical powers have fully regained their most perfect state of health the transmission of life is more than likely to result in the begetting of children who are to be afflicted with mental debility and physical infirmities which shall be so inwrought into the very fibre of their being as to continue through their entire life1 utterly beyond the reach of all remedial agents4 ,we can conceive of no greater wrong that a parent could ignorantly or wilfully inflict upon his unborn offspring than to call them into being at a period when they cannot escape the inheritance of lifelong physical or mental infirmity4 ,abstinence from the marital relation in some instances becomes almost absolutely imperative4 ,in the intimate relations of married life the exercise of such self-restraint is not always easy1 but it is nevertheless possible4 ,there are well-authenticated instances in the lives of missionaries who have married and immediately gone to climates where conception during the period of acclimation would have resulted fatally who have maintained absolute continence for a period of months and years4 ,we know of an instance where1 because of a diseased condition known as vaginismus1 the marital relation was attended with such discomfort and pain that for a few years it was only indulged at long intervals1 and then totally abandoned1 and strict continence maintained for a period of twenty years and more4 ,nor is strict continence in married life without illustrations of those who have voluntarily chosen it4 ,there are some married people in this country1 more numerous than some suppose1 who have adopted the idea of uniform continence1 and who call the reproductive nature into exercise for the purpose of procreation only1 and who assert that the maintenance of continence secures not only greater strength and better health1 but greater happiness also4 ,,chapter ,,vi4 ,,marital ,,moderation4 ,the foundation of marriage and of home can only be built permanently upon the abiding nature of love4 ,like our own being1 love has a twofold nature4 ,its spiritual part is immortal and unchangeable2 its physical part is temporary in purpose and continuance1 and is liable to perversion and debasement4 ,the physical may even be permitted to overshadow1 debase and quite obliterate the spiritual4 ,in its natural unfolding and manifestation love is very much like the plant that is rooted in the earth while it flowers in the sunlight4 ,the earth and the roots in their relation to each other are essential and even indispensable to the production of the flower1 and the flower is alike indispensable to the perpetuity of the plant4 ,so love has its physical and its spiritual nature4 ,love is rooted in that unconscious law of our nature which ,god has enacted for the preservation and perpetuity of human life4 ,nothing but a spurious delicacy or an ignorance of facts can prevent our full recognition that love looks to marriage1 and marriage to offspring1 as a natural sequence4 ,while this is its objective purpose1 it yet serves other high ends4 ,in its twofold nature love ennobles its possessor4 ,it makes him responsive to the love of ,god upon the one hand and to the love of mankind upon the other4 ,it gives purpose and zest to life1 brightens the intellect1 quickens the imagination1 inspires purpose and imparts physical power4 ,it beautifies and glorifies the individual1 and makes him worthy of redemption4 ,when it is pure and true it unites two souls in bonds of happiness which never chafe1 and which become stronger as time passes and the passions become chaste and subdued4 ,but there is a monstrosity that is known by the same name4 ,the proper name of this monster is lust4 ,it imparts neither beauty nor life4 ,it is like the parasite plant which is not naturally rooted in the earth1 but entwines itself about the growing beauty of other plant-life1 only to suck out the life-currents from the stem which has lifted it out of the dirt into the sunlight1 in return for which its only charity is that it spreads its stolen verdure over the death which it has itself created4 ,the question of the proper relation of husband and wife in marriage is a difficult one4 ,it is worthy of a volume4 ,the various phases of the subject which crowd upon our mind exceed the limits of a brief chapter4 ,we only regret that we are restricted by limitations beyond which we cannot pass at this present time4 ,suffice it to say that there are three principal theories with regard to the marital relation4 ,briefly stated they are as follows3 ,the first theory assumes that unlimited sexual gratification is essential to the comfort and well-being of the male1 and that1 whether married or unmarried1 he is to seek its gratification1 whether lawfully or unlawfully1 wherever and whenever he can find an opportunity4 ,it is scarcely necessary to say that this theory is not worthy of the consideration of fair-minded and decent people4 ,it is contrary to the laws of nature1 to the laws of ,god1 and to the laws of all civilized nations4 ,the theory is conceived and born of lust4 ,it has been fathered and fostered by the delusions of ignorant people4 ,it is the child of lust and the parent of sensuality4 ,it is disproven by experience and is condemned by the best medical authority in this country and throughout the world4 ,for a discussion of this subject and medical testimony we must refer the reader to ,what a ,young ,man ,ought to ,know1 from page #ef to #fg4 ,the second theory is that in married life the reproductive function is not to be exercised except for the purpose of procreation4 ,while this theory is the opposite extreme of the first1 yet it differs from the first in that it has some very strong arguments in its favor4 ,while the results of our investigations do not enable us to assert that it is the true theory1 we are yet prepared to say that it is worthy of thoughtful consideration4 ,if it is possible for married people to maintain absolute continence for a period of six months or a year1 it must be conceded that it would be possible to extend that time to a longer period4 ,the maintenance of this theory would require such a degree of self-denial and self-control as is far beyond the possession of the great mass of humanity4 ,we fear1 also1 that there are but few1 even if they entered upon a life union with such thought and intention1 who would be able to maintain their principles for any considerable period4 ,the third theory1 and that which many men and women who are eminent for their learning and religious life hold to be the correct theory1 is1 that while no one has a right to enter upon the marriage relation with the fixed purpose of evading the duty of parenthood1 yet that procreation is not the only high and holy purpose which ,god has had in view in establishing the marriage relation1 but that the act of sexual congress may be indulged in between husband and wife for the purpose of expressing their mutual affection1 augmenting their personal endearments1 and for quickening those affections and tender feelings which are calculated to render home the place of blessing and good which ,god intended4 ,it is held by those who advocate this theory that while it would be possible to restrict the exercise of the reproductive functions to the single purpose of procreation1 yet in the great majority of instances the effort to live by that theory would generally result in marital unhappiness4 ,it cannot be successfully denied that the perpetuity of the race is the great purpose which ,god has had in view in instituting marriage4 ,procreation and the raising up of a family of children cannot under ordinary circumstances be ignored or evaded without serious physical1 intellectual1 moral and social results4 ,but neither are mutual love1 affection1 comfort1 consolation and support to be ignored without disastrous results4 ,due regard is not only to be paid to the perpetuity of the race1 but to the well-being and perpetuity of the individual4 ,in his book on the ,ethics of ,marriage ,dr4 ,h4 ,f4 ,pomeroy says3 ,physiologically considered1 there can be but one end in marriage--the breeding and rearing of a family2 but there are various means which conduce to this end by preserving the mental and physical tone and balance of husband and wife1 and cultivating in them a union of regard and affection1 without which any mere outward union can be but a travesty of marriage4 ,how far it may be proper to exercise the secondary object of marriage it is impossible to state in any general rule1 because individual cases vary so greatly2 but it is safe to say that the phase of marriage which is so closely allied to its primary object has an important bearing on the health1 happiness and harmony of husband and wife1 and so may properly be exercised by those who have a proper regard for the primary end of marriage1 even when its relation to this end be but indirect1 provided such exercise of it be kept within bounds of mental and physical health4 ,personally we are strongly inclined to the acceptance of this third theory4 ,but it must be granted that the acceptance of this theory is attended with many considerations which have their serious perplexities4 ,perhaps the most constant and most serious difficulty is the question involved in the danger of too frequent conception4 ,to regulate this matter many persons resort to criminal methods1 which are nothing short of murder3 many resort to expedients which are often unsatisfactory in their result and also ruinous to the health or well-being of either the husband or wife1 or both1 while others adopt less disastrous but equally unsatisfactory and unreliable measures4 ,some of these methods are criminal1 others are injurious1 still others uncertain1 and all alike unsatisfactory4 ,desirable as it might be to enter upon a full discussion of the various questions involved in the consideration of this phase of the subject1 yet because of the general prevalence of vicious living and impure thinking we deem it best not to enter upon a discussion which might effect more evil in some pure-minded persons1 by suggestion1 than it could accomplish in the reforming of the evil practices of the vicious1 and we therefore pass this phase of the subject in silence4 ,the greatest happiness in married life can never be obtained except by the observance of marital moderation4 ,just what is moderation in the exercise of the reproductive function in married life it would be very difficult to determine and define4 ,what might be moderation for one man1 or for one woman1 might be the most extravagant excess for another4 ,the husband may feel inclined to grant himself such indulgence as would entitle him to be regarded as considerate and as within the bounds of moderation when considered in relation to himself personally1 and yet the privileges which he grants himself might be most immoderate and most ruinous for his wife2 or in some instances the reverse might be the case--indulgence which might be moderate for his wife might be most excessive for him4 ,no husband or wife can determine what is moderation in their own personal instance until they have duly considered the obligation which they are under to the other1 and the effect of the relation1 not simply upon himself or herself1 but upon the other as well4 ,the principle which must govern every husband or wife who desires to be moderate in the marital relation1 is1 not to seek to grant themselves the utmost indulgence which will enable them to abide within the limits of individual safety only1 but so persistently to exercise the spirit of self-control and self-mastery1 that they may attain to those best results which are only possible to those who do not call the reproductive function into exercise at too frequent intervals4 ,no man or woman who exercises the reproductive function upon the return of every slight inclination can realize that greatest pleasure and satisfaction which are always possible1 but so seldom experienced4 ,the wise husband and the wise wife will not seek that utmost indulgence which brings them to the limit of endurance1 but will constantly desire to be governed by such restraint and moderation as will secure for them the most blessed results4 ,to say nothing of morality1 intelligence and culture have their province in the exercise of the privileges which are possible to married people4 ,the reproductive sense1 like the sense of hunger1 or any other sense1 is to be brought under the dominion of intelligence and refinement4 ,in the government of our other senses there are laws which no intelligent man will be willing to violate4 ,he will not eat the first food upon which he chances to come1 simply because he is hungry4 ,he requires that it shall be of the proper kind1 and properly prepared4 ,the worm will seize upon its food regardless of its character1 and without any reference to other considerations than that of satisfying its own inclination4 ,wild beasts will contend over a bone1 but man is lifted by intelligence to a higher realm4 ,his food must be of a proper kind1 it must be properly prepared1 and is to be eaten at appointed intervals4 ,he will not eat that which belongs to another4 ,he desires his food served with proper regard to cleanliness and esthetic taste4 ,he beautifies his table1 makes his eating the occasion of social fellowship1 takes into consideration the wants and needs of others4 ,if we thus regulate the appetite1 why should we not1 as intelligent beings1 regulate the exercise of the reproductive sense8 ,why should we yield1 like animals1 to the first inclination8 ,why should we despoil ourselves or our companion of the ,god-given sense of modesty8 ,why should we be willing to indulge ourselves to such an extent as to injure the one individual whom we love and prize above all others upon earth8 ,let reason1 refinement and the moral sense have their proper sway in the exercise of the reproductive function and the sexual instinct1 the same as in the exercise of our other senses4 ,in a chapter entitled ,rules for ,married ,persons2 or1 ,matrimonial ,chastity1 ,jeremy ,taylor gives the following advice3 ,in their permissions and license the husband and wife must be sure to observe the order of nature and the ends of ,god4 ,he is an ill husband that uses his wife as a man treats a harlot1 having no other end but pleasure4 ,concerning which our best rule is that although in this1 as in eating and drinking1 there is an appetite to be satisfied1 which cannot be done without pleasing that desire2 yet1 since that desire and satisfaction were intended by nature for other ends1 they should never be separated from those ends1 but always be joined with all or one of these ends3 with the desire for children2 to avoid fornication2 or to lighten and ease the cares and sadness of household affairs2 or to endear each other2 but never with a purpose1 either in act or desire1 to separate the sensuality from these ends which hallow it4 ,it is well also to know what the women have to say upon this subject4 ,mrs4 ,e4 ,b4 ,duffey1 in her excellent little book1 entitled ,what ,women ,should ,know1 says3 ,one is often led to wonder if a large class of men are not simply brutes1 in all that concerns the physical relations of marriage4 ,women do not readily make confidential complaints to other women against their husbands4 ,so that when a word--an incomplete sentence smothered before it is fully uttered--is spoken1 it must be wrung from the lips by extreme marital brutality4 ,that many women so suffer at the hands of husbands1 brutal in this respect1 though kind in all others1 does not admit of doubt4 ,disinclination1 weariness1 ill health1 none of these things will excuse a woman from participation in the marital act when her husband's inclinations lead him to require it of her4 ,strange that1 while the law recognizes rape as a crime punishable by severe penalties1 there is no recognition whatever of a married woman's right to a control over her own person4 ,i do not know that the most brutal conduct in this respect1 if there was no other reason for complaint1 would be considered by the courts as a sufficient cause for divorce4 ,yet any one can readily imagine that it is possible for a man of strong sensual nature1 who places no curb upon his appetite1 to render the life of the delicate1 pure-minded woman1 intolerable to the last degree4 ,as mutual affection is the heavenly bond of marriage1 so mutual pleasure should also sanction its earthly bond4 ,love should be prepared to give as well as to receive--to be self-denying when self-denial is required of it4 ,i cannot believe that a wife who sees her husband thus considerate will be unreasonable in her refusal4 ,but the anxious and honest inquirer still asks1 ,how often may ,i indulge myself8 ,no general answer can be given to this question4 ,due reference must always be had to the individual who asks it1 and wise counsel would not be possible unless every consideration of the physical condition and health of the wife were allowed their proper place in the solution of the question4 ,what might be moderation for one might be the most destructive excess for another4 ,some men are strong1 have great powers of endurance1 and do not know that they have a nerve in their body4 ,others are very delicate1 nervous and dyspeptic4 ,some physicians are inclined to limit the relation to once a month2 upon the other hand1 all who have given attention to this subject have learned of instances of excess which do not fall at all short of conjugal debauchery4 ,it might be said that no man of average health1 physical power and intellectual acumen can exceed the bounds of once a week without at least being in danger of having entered upon a life of excess both for himself and for his wife4 ,each young husband must determine for himself and his wife when they have reached the limit of moderation1 and their greatest happiness1 physically1 intellectually and maritally1 will be secured when they have erred upon the side of moderation rather than upon the side of excess4 ,do not wait until you have the pronounced effects of backache1 lassitude1 giddiness1 dimness of sight1 noises in the ears1 numbness of fingers and paralysis4 ,note your own condition the next day very carefully4 ,if you observe a lack of normal1 physical power1 a loss of intellectual quickness or mental grip1 if you are sensitive and irritable1 if you are less kind and considerate of your wife1 if you are morose and less companionable1 or in any way fall below your best standard of excellence1 it would be well for you to think seriously and proceed cautiously4 ,nor should your observation and study only have reference to yourself4 ,note carefully the physical1 mental and social condition of your wife the day following4 ,you are not only to be the conservator of your own strength1 but her protector as well4 ,when you pass the limit of the greatest safety1 either for yourself or your wife1 you are likely to sacrifice both safety and happiness4 ,another says3 ,even taking the low and sordid ground of selfishly getting the most out of this life1 it is wise to abide by temperance and duty in the marital relation1 for thus1 and only thus1 may we derive the most possible satisfaction from it4 ,we may drink the nectar as we will2 nature lets us hold the cup1 but she mixes it herself2 if we drink too deeply she adds water1 then gall1 and finally1 it may be1 deadly poison4 ,sexual excess is one of the most destructive forms of intemperance1 degrading alike the body1 mind and morals4 ,we have heard of men who have called the reproductive organs into very frequent exercise1 but they have always been men who were noted for nothing except their passion4 ,everything they eat and drink seems devoted to the maintenance of their sexual nature4 ,they may have enjoyed intellectual advantages1 and some of them may even be enrolled as professional men1 but every other faculty is dwarfed and weakened that they may foster and fatten their passions4 ,they are eminent in nothing1 save as samples of beastliness4 ,why allow a single passion1 the controlling organ of which lies at the very bottom and lowest part of the brain1 to usurp and control the entire man1 dominate over every other faculty1 and render the physical1 intellectual and moral faculties and religious sentiments only attendants and slaves6 ,no thoughtful or considerate husband can afford to disrespect the wishes of his wife4 ,he should reverently consider her inclination as well as his own desire4 ,throughout the entire range of animal life the condition and inclination of the female fixes and determines the approaches of her mate4 ,woman is the only female whose condition is disregarded1 whose wishes are ignored1 whose rights are trampled under foot1 and sometimes even denied any right over her own body4 ,where a woman is in health1 and is the loving1 devoted wife which she should be1 there is not much danger that she will be too strict with the idol of her heart4 ,and1 save in exceptional cases1 there is but little danger that the wife will be too lenient with her husband4 ,if the wrongs which wives suffer because of the unbridled passions of inconsiderate husbands were publicly known1 every virtuous and pure-minded man and woman would be inclined to take up arms for the mitigation of woman's wrongs1 and the liberation of this great army of slaves who suffer in silence the servitude from which they have no hope of deliverance except by death4 ,if you wish to attain your greatest usefulness in life1 avoid the undue use of foods which are calculated to stimulate the reproductive nature4 ,use eggs and oysters1 pepper and condiments with reasonable moderation4 ,do not simulate impure thinking by theatre-going1 the reading of salacious books1 participation in the round dance1 the presence of nude statuary and suggestive pictures2 avoid such bodily exposure and postures as mar the modesty of both man and woman2 keep reasonable and regular hours1 and remember that all these things tend only to enervate and exhaust your wife and to rob and wrong you of the best there is in store for you4 ,marital moderation is most easily secured and maintained where married persons occupy separate beds2 and1 indeed1 in many instances such conditions exist as render separate rooms not only desirable1 but essential4 ,mrs4 ,e4 ,b4 ,duffey1 a good and reliable authority on this and related subjects1 says3 ,if the husband cannot properly control his amorous propensities they had better by all means occupy separate beds and different apartments1 with a lock on the communicating door1 the key in the wife's possession4 ,dr4 ,dio ,lewis1 in his book entitled ,chastity1 when writing of the excesses which lead to estrangement in married life1 says3 ,a very large part of this wretchedness and perilous excess is the natural result of our system of sleeping in the same bed4 ,it is the most ingenious of all possible devices to stimulate and inflame the carnal passion4 ,no bed is large enough for two persons4 ,if brides only knew the great risk they run of losing the most precious of all earthly possessions--the love of their husbands--they would struggle as resolutely to secure extreme temperance after marriage as they do to maintain complete abstinence before the ceremony4 ,the best means to this end is the separate bed4 ,many persons recognize the injurious effects which result from two persons sleeping in the same bed1 but generally they fear that if they were to occupy adjoining apartments1 or even separate beds in the same room1 it might lead to local gossip or the suspicion of a lack of harmony or affection4 ,but without informing the patient of the purpose1 physicians oftentimes advise a period of absence1 either for the husband or for the wife1 in order to secure the beneficial result which could be had in their own homes if they would only consent to sleep apart4 ,where either the husband or the wife suffers from excessive amative propensities upon the part of the other1 great benefit would be derived from avoiding the sexual excitement which comes daily by the twice-repeated exposure of undressing and dressing in each other's presence1 and being in close bodily contact for a period of one-third of the hours of each day1 for four months in a year1 and for twenty years to those who have lived together for a period of sixty years4 ,there are also the questions of adequate ventilation1 the absorption of the exhalations of each other's bodies1 the weaker being injured by the fact that the stronger is likely to absorb vital and nervous force1 and also the equalization of magnetic elements1 which1 when diverse in quantity and quality1 augment physical attraction and personal affection4 ,where there is a disparity of physical condition1 or a considerable difference of age1 or either person is suffering from the effects of any disease which contaminates the atmosphere1 separate beds1 and oftentimes separate apartments1 are essential4 ,physical culture is an important matter for consideration in connection with the subject of moderation within the marriage relation4 ,all forms of outdoor recreation which are calculated to produce the best physical condition--dumb-bells1 ,indian-clubs1 exercises of various kinds1 frequent bathing1 followed by vigorous rubbing of the external surface of the body--are matters of great importance in this connection4 ,if the thought is permitted to centre upon the sexual relation the blood will be diverted from the brain and the muscles1 and the entire man will suffer because of the depletion and drain which comes as an inevitable result4 ,let the thought be turned to other considerations1 and by exercise send the blood into all parts of the body1 and let the vigorous rubbing after the bath produce a healthy glow1 and contribute to good health and to the attainment and maintenance of a well-rounded manhood4 ,not only is physical culture essential for the husband1 but it is equally important for the wife1 who is even more likely to underestimate its value and neglect it altogether1 unless she is encouraged to physical effort and bodily exercise by the husband4 ,remember that you and your wife owe it not only to yourselves in securing present happiness1 but owe it also to your children and to your own future good that you shall possess the best physical results which are possible to you2 for what you are1 that your children will become after you4 ,if they inherit either physical or mental weakness1 the parents who are to care for them will be compelled to pay for their own sad mistakes in vigils and self-denials from which they could have delivered themselves by timely forethought and sufficient care4 ,the proper mastery of your sexual nature will be worth all it costs4 ,a strong sexual nature is not a curse1 but a blessing4 ,god made no mistake in making man what he is2 but he never intended that the lower nature should rule over the higher and better nature of man4 ,the struggle is worth all it costs1 and the man who gains the mastery grows more manly1 more noble1 while the man who is overcome becomes less manly1 and if lust be given the sway he becomes increasingly beastly4 ,if you gain and keep the mastery1 the struggle will not be endless4 ,with that modified manhood which comes with the hush of the reproductive nature at about middle life1 there will come a growing peacefulness and manly poise which will be marked by an increasing strength of intellectual and moral power which will make possible to you in the closing years of your life acquisitions and achievements which were quite impossible in the earlier years4 ,,chapter ,,vii4 ,,defects ,,and ,,deficiencies4 ,the approach to new relations and untried conditions often awakens in the minds of the unmarried apprehensions which are entitled at least to a brief consideration at this place4 ,many young men who are looking forward to marriage spend months of anxious forethought lest there should exist in them some physical incapacity which might unfit them for the new relation into which they are about to enter4 ,such fears1 in the vast majority of cases1 are wholly groundless1 and in the exceptional instances the insufficiency is generally more seeming than real4 ,where the previous life has been correct and virtuous there is not more than one case in a thousand where any serious embarrassment may reasonably be expected to arise4 ,because of a lack of nourishing food1 the neglect of exercise and physical culture1 excessive overwork1 dissipation and late hours1 many young men suffer from sexual weakness and become apprehensive of impotence1 and when they contemplate marriage resort to stimulants1 or the most foolish expedients1 for regaining or testing their sexual power4 ,no more foolish or destructive course could be pursued4 ,the right thing to do is to inquire into the influences which have produced the debility1 remove the cause1 resort to such indoor and out-of-door exercises as will tend to the best development of the physical man1 restore health1 increase the ordinary powers of endurance1 and then the apprehensions will all disappear4 ,physical weakness and general debility1 when emphasized by the nervous strain of the ordinary marriage occasion and followed by the excitement inseparable from the earliest marital relation1 often result in premature sexual loss and temporary departure of erectile power1 and beget apprehension1 and even awaken fear4 ,but even where such instances do occur1 they are usually only temporary4 ,actual impotence during a period of manhood is very rare4 ,where there is ground for just apprehension the young man should always consult an intelligent and conscientious physician4 ,if he suggests either stimulants or association with dissolute women in order to test your powers1 in order to strengthen the reproductive system1 accept this as a sufficient evidence of his incompetency1 and immorality as well1 and betake yourself to another physician4 ,the world has passed on to that period when a practitioner who is so ignorant as to give such dangerous and destructive advice is unworthy of the confidence of the people upon whose credulity and purses he preys1 and also of the respect of decent people1 or a place among intelligent physicians4 ,any young man who has several months remaining before marriage can easily remove all groundless apprehensions by such a full observance of the laws of health1 due exercise in the open air1 the use of dumb-bells1 ,indian-clubs and home ,exercisers as will develop his physical powers and enable him to come to a just apprehension of his real condition4 ,nor need a young man who has selected a bride in good health and in appropriate physical proportions to himself feel any anxieties concerning the deficiencies or deformities in her4 ,medical authorities affirm that the obstacles to the consummation of marriage are far less frequent in females than in males4 ,the greatest barriers to a proper entrance upon marriage upon the part of men are found in excessive solitary and social vice1 and especially in the results which attend and follow venereal diseases1 all of which exert a debilitating effect upon the masculine function4 ,where a young husband will carefully observe the suggestions made in a later chapter concerning the treatment of his bride1 especially from the first day they are married1 he will successfully pass any dangers1 none of which are likely to appear in the subsequent weeks or years4 ,but where these suggestions are ignored he may be guilty of doing such violence to the sense of propriety of the bride1 or so injure her physically1 as to make himself the heir of greatest unhappiness for the remainder of his married life4 ,his thought should not only be concerning himself1 but especially concerning the deliverance of his bride from a life of invalidism and wretchedness4 ,it seems to us that no wrong which one might do in his ignorance could bring greater remorse and regret than the knowledge of the fact that1 without knowing it1 he had destroyed both the health and the happiness of one who otherwise would have been a joy and blessing throughout his entire life4 ,in medical books designed for the profession much space is properly given to the consideration of defects1 deformities and monstrosities2 but in a book like this1 designed to meet the needs of the ordinary individual1 such rare and exceptional instances need not be included4 ,marked abnormal conditions are not often seen in the practice of an ordinary physician1 and it is therefore wrong to yield to the tendency to arouse unnecessary apprehensions which can serve no useful purpose1 but which often do result in injury to the reader4 ,where there exists sufficient evidence of any serious difficulty1 or physical incapacity1 the young man should not fail to consult an experienced physician of known honor and ,christian integrity4 ,such a man will not betray your confidence1 and will be able to afford any necessary relief1 and to give judicious counsel and timely assistance4 ,never1 under any circumstances1 apply to the quack1 the shark or the charlatan1 whose only purpose will be to frighten and alarm in order that they may the more successfully extort money from the uninformed1 in return for which they can expect nothing better than impoverishment and humiliation1 instead of wise counsel and skillful treatment4 ,but we must at this point speak of the kindred subject of the apprehensions which expectant young husbands often feel with reference to the qualification of the intended bride4 ,as we have already said1 deformities and actual incapacity are less frequent among women than among men4 ,women who know themselves to be suffering from falling of the womb1 or other serious womb trouble1 should not contemplate marriage4 ,by becoming a wife a woman with serious womb trouble only aggravates her condition1 renders herself and her husband miserable--does the very thing which will retard her recovery1 and is even in danger of rendering herself wholly incurable4 ,women who know themselves to be suffering from such ills and ailments should always seek competent medical assistance1 cut their corset-strings1 devote themselves faithfully to physical culture1 and defer their marriage until they have restored these parts to a state of health4 ,where either married or unmarried women suffer from female weakness they are generally loath to seek competent medical relief4 ,we have known of married women who have suffered for many years the results of injuries received during confinement who could easily have been not only relieved1 but permanently cured1 had they applied to a competent physician1 disclosed their real condition1 and submitted to intelligent treatment4 ,the same is true of young1 married people4 ,where any slight incapacity or obstacle is found in their new relation they should promptly seek some competent medical advisers1 and not permit weeks to elapse1 until1 on account of their neglect1 that which could easily have been remedied in the beginning has become the source of embarrassment1 estrangement1 or1 possibly1 some permanent nervous affection4 ,where it is the wife who needs medical attention1 her modest nature may cause her to shrink from examination or counsel1 but when she remembers that medical specialists are constantly consulted upon kindred subjects there should be no hesitation in seeking their counsel and assistance4 ,the utmost frankness on the part of the patient should always enable the physician intelligently to understand her condition1 while that native female modesty which is the attestation of her virtue will be both her adornment and her defense4 ,with the increasing number of well-equipped doctors1 intending brides in increasing numbers are wisely seeking such counsel as will assure them that there exists no impediment to the formation of a happy marriage4 ,were this course universally followed it would remove much mental anxiety1 possible perplexity1 and even marital infelicity4 ,it would disclose to those who have serious womb trouble their unfitness to become wives and mothers1 and thus enable the unfortunate ones to escape the unhappiness and misery which marriage is sure to bring both to them and to their husbands4 ,it is always infinitely better to know the facts before it is too late to escape the wretchedness which the marital relation is sure to entail2 and then1 where no infirmities or barriers exist1 the knowledge of that fact will bring an assurance which will be worth many times the embarrassment and expense involved4 ,this is the legitimate1 reliable and proper way for every intending bride to secure such information1 and the only way to which a virtuous and pure-minded woman could yield her consent4 ,,chapter ,,viii4 ,,purity ,,and ,,fidelity4 ,the happiness of the individual and of the family often depends upon the influence and effects of very plain and everyday considerations1 and in closing ,part ,first there are a few things which we desire to impress upon the mind of the young husband which to some may seem unimportant1 but which1 in fact1 are very important1 and your failure duly to observe any one of which may result in your home1 as it has in thousands of others1 in the blighting of happiness1 in personal injury1 in injustice and wrong to wife and children1 and even in the wrecking of the home itself4 ,see to it that you have a pure breath4 ,you have no right to defile your body1 or render your breath impure or offensive in any way1 and especially by the use of tobacco and liquor4 ,you have no more right to defile the air which your wife is to breathe than you have to defile the water which she is to drink1 or to sprinkle some disagreeable or loathsome substance upon the food which she is to eat2 and the magnitude of this wrong would be increased in proportion to the extent to which it adds to her discomfort or injures her health4 ,to say the least1 the use of tobacco is a selfish habit1 and if you desire to be just and equal1 you should be willing to apportion to your wife for some personal gratification of her own an amount equal to the money which you daily or annually expend upon yourself for the use of tobacco4 ,the tobacco habit is an expensive one4 ,it not only costs an expenditure of a large amount of money annually1 but results almost universally in nervousness and irritability4 ,if you use tobacco in any form and will observe yourself closely1 noting the difference between the periods when you omit its use and when1 upon the other hand1 you do not use it1 you will be convinced that it tends very perceptibly to render you sensitive1 irritable and uncompanionable4 ,but this is not all4 ,it so permeates your entire being as seriously to affect the children which you beget and bring into the world4 ,no man1 we care not how indifferent he may be to the effect upon himself or to the comfort of his wife1 can be so insensible to the effect of his own life in determining the character1 happiness and destiny of his children1 as to be indifferent to the consideration of the results of the use of tobacco upon his descendants4 ,you may often have noticed that men and women of good physique1 and apparently enjoying the best of health1 become the parents of weak1 nervous and sickly children4 ,it would be both unjust and untrue to assert that in every such instance the result could be accurately traced to the use of tobacco1 but the evidence that tobacco is the real cause can be established in at least some instances4 ,many a child of inferior physical and intellectual capacity has been defrauded of its larger endowment because the father who begot it was addicted to the use of tobacco4 ,if the teachings of the most reliable medical authority upon this subject are to be accepted1 it would be possible to select from any community the finest physical and intellectual specimens of men and women and let them both become addicted to the use of tobacco1 and then marry among themselves1 and in a single generation or two their descendants would fall far below the physical and intellectual average of the children of other parents who do not use the weed in any form4 ,the subject of intemperance we have fully treated in the preceding volumes of this series1 and we must refer the reader to them in that place1 especially the book addressed to young men4 ,liquor is not only a curse to the individual who uses it1 but it wrecks the health and happiness of the wife and curses their yet unborn children4 ,it not only affects their morals1 health and intelligence1 but where the children are not born imbeciles or idiots they often inherit the appetite for drink and become depraved and drunken to the third and fourth generation4 ,the great minds which have shone in the intellectual firmament of the past1 or brighten and bless the present generation1 were not begotten of parents who were given to excess and dissipation4 ,many a man whose descendants might have been lustrous and happy1 owe their enfeebled minds and blighted happiness to the indiscretion and excess of the parents who brought them into the world4 ,when ,god designed to raise up a ,samson he said to the mother3 ,thou shalt conceive and bear a son4 ,now1 therefore1 beware1 ,i pray thee1 and drink not wine1 nor strong drink1 and eat not any unclean thing1 for the child shall be a ,nazarite unto ,god from the womb1 and he shall begin to deliver ,israel out of the hands of the ,philistines4 ,the same laws of heredity exist to-day1 and they cannot be ignored without imperiling the health and the happiness of those who are to come after us4 ,if you love your wife or value your own happiness1 let us urge upon you the duty of fidelity4 ,this is a duty that you owe to your wife in the same proportion that she owes fidelity to you4 ,god has made but one standard of integrity and virtue1 and this is enjoined alike upon men and women4 ,god says1 ,thou shalt not commit adultery4 ,he does not say women shall not1 or that men shall not4 ,there is no discrimination between men and women4 ,the word thou means the person who reads or hears--the person addressed1 whether male or female1 young or old1 king or peasant1 high or low1 learned or unlearned1 rich or poor1 white or black1 bond or free4 ,it is alike binding upon all1 without abatement or modification1 regardless of sex1 race1 class or condition1 and without reference to time1 place or circumstance4 ,what is true of this commandment is also true of them all4 ,god has not made one set of laws for men and another for women4 ,neither does ,he excuse or condone in men what ,he condemns in women4 ,he holds both alike answerable to the same unerring standards of social and moral purity4 ,whatever may be the attitude of those who entertain lax moral views1 society has no right to condone in man what it condemns in woman4 ,what is wrong for her is wrong for him1 and infidelity or unfaithfulness is a crime in either4 ,in addition to the moral wrong there is also the great physical risk4 ,the unmarried man who leads a life of vice1 to some extent1 at least1 only imperils himself2 but the married man imperils his wife and his children in addition4 ,the most reputable physicians can bear ample testimony to the frequency that women apply to them for relief from aches and ills suffered by themselves and their children1 the nature and source of which these wives do not suspect1 and the terrible and ineradicable nature of which they are totally ignorant4 ,such is the terrible punishment inflicted by guilty husbands and fathers upon their innocent and unsuspecting wives and children4 ,hundreds of cases might be named2 but let us give a single illustration1 narrated to us by one of the most eminent physicians of this country1 whose name and residence are not essential1 as somewhat similar instances come frequently to the attention of physicians4 ,a young man of a wealthy family1 who had been a couple of times treated for gonorrh,aa1 married a beautiful bride in a prominent and wealthy family4 ,a couple of weeks after his marriage he came to the physician with one of those small sores called a chancre1 which is the unmistakable evidence of the presence of syphilis4 ,careful investigation disclosed the fact that at the time of his marriage he had a concealed chancre1 and which1 although unknown to himself1 had nevertheless been communicated to his bride4 ,the treatment was prompt and of the most skillful character1 but serious results were speedily manifest4 ,the primary sore was followed by its secondary results4 ,sores appeared upon the different parts of her body1 the mucous membrane was affected1 and every hair upon the entire person of the wife fell out4 ,she did not have left so much as eyebrows1 eyelashes1 or even hairs in her nose1 and1 as in some instances after a serious attack of typhoid fever1 months were necessary before the hair started again to grow4 ,when it did grow it returned coarse and wiry1 and when about an inch or inch-and-a-half long it very much resembled goat's hair4 ,it could not be combed--nothing could be done with it4 ,she looked like a fright--was an astonishment to her friends and an embarrassment to herself4 ,with no knowledge of the terrible nature of her disease1 it was difficult to induce her to persist through months for a period of at least two years in taking her medicines4 ,at intervals during the years that followed she gave premature birth to children1 which1 whether born dead1 or living for a day or two1 were masses of disease and corruption4 ,after four or five of such miscarriages she finally gave birth to a child that at the time of its coming into the world seemed healthy4 ,not long after the birth of this child the family removed from the community1 and the physician was unable to note the effects of the inheritance which no child under such circumstances could possibly escape4 ,while this case was impressive1 it was by no means exceptional4 ,we have learned of instances where persons of unbounded wealth have communicated the syphilis to their wives1 and all the skill which wealth could command has not been able to eradicate the disease or deliver the unhappy sufferers from the consequences of the criminal unfaithfulness of the guilty husband4 ,but there are consequences less manifest to the eye1 but no less deadly and destructive in effect1 which come to the innocent and unoffending wife as the result of the vice and unfaithfulness of her husband4 ,one of the most eminent physicians of ,philadelphia1 in conversation with the author1 assured us that the effects of gonorrh,aa1 or clap1 which are suffered by the wives is something alarming4 ,even where the husband has not communicated the disease while it was active in himself1 but where the intending husband may have supposed that he was entirely cured of gonorrh,aa for a period of two years or more1 he may yet communicate the lurking remnants of that disease to the vagina1 the effects soon extending up into the womb1 out through the ,fallopian tubes1 oftentimes reaching the ovaries and necessitating their removal1 making it necessary to unsex the woman in order to save her from the wretchedness and misery which are inseparable from the death which they so often preface4 ,an eminent practitioner in ,new ,york1 when addressing the last annual convention of the ,state ,medical ,society1 called special attention to the prevalent effects which wives suffer as the result of gonorrh,aa contracted by their husbands1 and said that a few years ago it was his custom1 when women with certain symptoms came to him for consultation1 to request a private interview with the husbands in order that he might discover whether past unfaithfulness since marriage or a life of vice prior to marriage was not the cause of the trouble4 ,he said that latterly1 however1 the best medical authorities were agreed that it was not necessary to subject the husband to this trying inquisition1 for the symptoms and conditions which established the correctness of the diagnosis were a sufficient proof of the source of all the wife's troubles4 ,thousands of husbands who bemoan the fact that their wives are complete physical wrecks are themselves the authors of the ruin which has been wrought4 ,nor is this all2 fathers have often carried the disease home1 and by the use of towels have communicated the virus of the disease to the eyes of their children or some member of the family1 from which total blindness has come as the inevitable result4 ,we learned of one instance in which the father communicated the disease to his entire family1 including several small children1 who took their bath in the same tub1 but in different water1 after the father had bathed4 ,for a fuller unfolding of the awful consequences of the diseases which accompany vice we must refer the reader to the book ,what a ,young ,man ,ought to ,know1 from page #ic to #aec4 ,all that has there been said in favor of a chaste and pure life can be enjoined with even greater emphasis on those who are married4 ,but what if a guilty husband and father could escape the dangers of disease1 the detection by his wife1 and could even escape the lashings of his own guilty conscience1 which will smite with sevenfold force as the years advance1 yet how terrible for him to remember that transmission is the law of heredity1 and that a licentious father is the legitimate predecessor of a vicious child4 ,is it comforting for a father to anticipate with certainty that all the vices which have corrupted his life1 blighted his home and debased his moral nature are to be transmitted to his offspring8 ,how shall he1 in the after years1 when his own children go wrong1 be comforted with the thought that what they are he was1 and that what he desires them to be is what he himself should have been4 ,julia1 the daughter of ,augustus1 was as bad as her father1 and gave birth to a child of equally strong propensities4 ,these are the influences which have not only destroyed the happiness of homes1 but have wrecked the destinies of nations4 ,by the love you bear your wife1 by the love which you have for your children which are and which are to be1 by the respect which you have for yourself and the fear that you should have for your ,god1 by all that is sacred in marriage and in home1 by all that is desired in this world and in the world to come1 we plead with you1 for your present1 future and eternal good1 that you maintain your marriage vow inviolate4 ,,part ,,ii ,,concerning ,,his ,,wife ,,chapter ,,ix4 ,,the ,,bride4 ,we now come1 in ,part ,second1 to consider what a young husband ought to know concerning his wife4 ,in this chapter we desire to speak of what he ought to know of his wife while she is yet a bride4 ,as soon as the minister has pronounced them husband and wife she is as truly the wife as she is later on1 and we only use the word bride in that commonly accepted sense which refers to the earlier days and weeks of her married life4 ,we cannot enter upon the thought of this chapter without being conscious of the fact that doubtless thousands of young men will turn to these pages for information concerning the marriage relation who have themselves not yet entered the marriage bond4 ,there is nothing in this book which a young man of mature years may not properly know4 ,indeed1 every young man of mature years ought to possess the information which this volume contains4 ,but we are also conscious of the fact that many young men who are engaged to marry1 or are already married1 will turn to these pages expecting to find here some means of deliverance from the results of mistakes which1 in his lack of knowledge1 he has already made4 ,as we enter upon the duty of telling the young husband what he ought to know concerning his bride1 we feel the importance of saying that the information which he gathers from these pages will be but partial1 unless he has the information concerning woman contained in the preceding volume of this series4 ,in telling a young husband what he ought to know concerning his bride1 it is especially important that he should first understand the nature and purpose of the reproductive organs1 the right relation of man to woman1 and the correct teachings concerning marriage2 and for the unfolding of these subjects we must refer the reader to ,chapters ,,vii41 ,,viii4 and ,,ix4 in ,what a ,young ,man ,ought to ,know4 ,in addition to what we have said in ,chapter ,,iii4 of this volume1 in reference to the physical1 intellectual1 moral and sexual differences between men and women1 it is necessary now to call the attention of young husbands to the fact that in woman there exists less sexual desire and satisfaction than in man4 ,perhaps of the great majority of women it would be true to say that they are largely devoid of sexual pleasure4 ,in regard to the intensity of the sexual instinct1 women might with some accuracy be divided into three classes4 ,the first class1 which includes the larger number1 is generally supposed to be quite devoid of sexual inclination and feeling4 ,the condition of this class may be accounted for in three different ways4 ,in some it is the result of ill health1 produced by lack of sufficient exercise and outdoor recreation2 because of excessive social demands1 late hours1 indigestible food1 the enervating and exhaustive effects of novel-reading1 and especially also of tight lacing1 with all of its sad effects in debilitating and displacing the sexual and vital organs which are located in the pelvic and abdominal cavities4 ,if women could but realize what pleasures might be theirs1 if they would only live in a rational way1 there would be but few men and women left to ask the question whether marriage is a failure4 ,another cause of sexual indifference in a large class is found in the fact that some regard the existence of passion in women as derogatory to their sex4 ,there are wives who pride themselves upon their indifference to the conjugal relation4 ,they speak of their coldness and indifference as though it were a virtue1 instead of a defect4 ,the fact is1 they are simply proud of their deficiency4 ,with this1 as with the proper exercise of every other bodily function1 ,god has associated satisfaction and pleasure4 ,the reception of food1 which is to sustain and nourish life1 is attended with pleasure4 ,seeing and hearing are attended with pleasure4 ,the exercise of all of our bodily senses is designed to bring us pleasure and a sense of satisfaction4 ,the exercise of the reproductive function is attended with great cost physically1 financially1 and in every way1 and ,god has meant that to this great sacrifice man shall be prompted by a pleasure which shall be correspondingly great4 ,god has designed that the act of reproduction should be recognized both as a duty and a pleasure1 and the feeling which prompts to the perpetuation of the species is as proper as that which inclines the individual to the preservation of his own life or health4 ,there can be no doubt but that in conception ,god has assigned an important office to inclination and sensation1 for while authorities are agreed that conception may take place without attendant emotion upon the part of the female1 yet the result is more assured1 and the product of such a union is of a higher standard when both persons participate in the pleasures which invite to its consummation4 ,this sexual indifference upon the part of the wife may sometimes be largely due to the fact that she and her husband are illy mated1 physically1 morally or socially2 or because differences of education and divergence of views have produced that lack of harmony which has1 at least measurably1 blighted the affections4 ,there can be but little doubt that much marital indifference upon the part of wives is due to chronic constipation1 which is so prevalent among women4 ,another cause of this indifference upon the part of some wives1 and this is a very small class1 is due to malformation1 local obstruction1 because of an imperfect rupturing of the hymen1 or1 in rare instances1 to a disease known as vaginismus1 rendering the act not only devoid of pleasure1 but possessed of actual discomfort and suffering4 ,where these conditions exist1 prompt and competent medical assistance is needed for local treatment and judicious advice4 ,the second class is composed of women who find in the marital relation a moderate and normal pleasure when they are in health1 and if indulged in at times which are agreeable to them1 and at suitable intervals4 ,this class represents1 doubtless1 those women who are more normal in this respect than those who belong to either of the other extremes4 ,they constitute the middle class1 and probably the largest number4 ,the third class represents the few in whom sexuality presides as a ruling passion4 ,this class is by no means as numerous as some might imagine1 and such women should never be married except to men of good health1 strong physique1 large powers of endurance1 and with a pronounced sexual inclination4 ,when a man with only moderate sexual inclination is united to a woman of this class it is a question which is more to be pitied1 the husband whose wife is totally devoid of sexual instinct1 or the man whose wife is sexually insatiable4 ,while there are a few women of this class1 yet the rule remains that in man the sexual instinct is more pronounced than in woman1 and that man constitutes the active and aggressive division of the human family2 for while a certain female may possess a more pronounced sexual nature than a certain male1 yet in her sexual nature she is not as pronounced as the most active male4 ,while among all species the male is the more active and aggressive1 yet any one who has given attention to the reproductive act among animals will have noticed that in no instance can the male force this relation upon the female without her acquiescence1 and in most instances the time of copulation is wholly determined by the condition of the female4 ,it is only when she is in condition to conceive that she will receive the male1 and at those periods her condition inspires him to the act4 ,we cannot but believe that this is also intended to be the rule among human beings1 although1 strange to say1 the wishes of the wife are oftentimes wholly ignored1 and she submits reluctantly1 or is wholly overborne by the exactions of an inconsiderate or brutal husband4 ,if this subjugation of the wish and the will of the wife to the will of the husband is the result of the curse pronounced upon ,eve1 ,thy desire shall be to thy husband1 the chastisement of woman has been truly severe1 for no sorer punishment could well be inflicted than to be deprived of the right of ruling over one's own body1 and being placed in subjection to the capricious will and exacting demands of an unreasonable husband4 ,if the wrongs which wives suffer in this respect are the result of the fall of our first parents1 we should nevertheless rejoice that now the spiritual and material blessings which have been restored by the ,second ,adam are also to be shared by woman1 and in all the world no other person should be so anxious to crown her with the fullness of her natural rights as the man who will by such an effort vindicate the nobility of his own manhood and secure for himself the largest blessing and happiness1 because he is her husband4 ,not only is the reproductive nature of woman less pronounced than in man1 but its continuance in her is of a much shorter duration4 ,at about forty-five years of age1 and in some very much earlier1 the reproductive nature of woman undergoes those changes which render conception and childbearing impossible4 ,at that period her sexual nature takes upon itself modifications which are more pronounced than those experienced by the male when a somewhat similar sexual hush comes to him4 ,the character of these changes1 and what they involve both to the husband and to the wife1 are treated at length in the fourth volume of this series addressed to men at forty-five1 and it is well that young husbands should know what the future has in store for them1 and so regulate their married life that the later years may bring them the largest possible good and blessing4 ,the effect of the sexual relation upon newly-married men and women is oftentimes very noticeable4 ,sometimes those who previously seemed hearty and strong lose their bloom and vigor and become emaciated and miserable4 ,sometimes the reverse is the case4 ,especially among women1 there are noticeable instances where the family heredity is good1 no organic trouble exists1 and yet the individual is wholly miserable1 and after marriage speedily develops into a strong and hearty woman4 ,there are some who improve somewhat in health1 but who avoid parenthood1 and thus defraud themselves of the acquisition of perfect health4 ,these cases1 however1 are rather the exception1 and so much is involved in marriage that no man or woman can afford to take such serious risks1 because exceptional instances do rarely occur4 ,yet the fact remains that there are some who are weak and worried and restless before marriage who become hopeful1 restful and strong after marriage2 while others1 who were well situated and contented in their sphere1 accept1 in marriage1 conditions which result in producing a nervous1 despondent and restless disposition4 ,if the marital relation of these people could be accurately known the cause of these noticeable changes might oftentimes be found in the moderation maintained by the one class and the excessive sexual indulgence the cause in the other4 ,sexual excess is quite common among married persons4 ,in the husband it results in the destruction of physical power and in the weakening of the intellect as well4 ,force used in this way is not available for use intellectually1 and the consequent effects unfit for study1 mental activity1 and oftentimes for all kinds of business4 ,it renders the husband nervous1 morose1 and uncompanionable4 ,the man who is guilty of excess not only destroys his own capacity for pleasure1 but is alike unjust to his wife4 ,he renders her incapable of marital pleasure1 and also renders her incapable of bringing to him the satisfaction which he seeks4 ,such a husband destroys the amiability of his wife1 renders her weak and nervous1 converts her into an invalid1 and imposes upon himself large financial outlays for medical advice and attendance4 ,such a husband deliberately1 but not always knowingly1 consumes and destroys the physical qualities which made the wife attractive to him1 and destroys the very foundation upon which all happiness in the home must rest4 ,excessive sexual tendencies among men are generally the result of early self-pollution1 later illicit relations1 reveling in vile stories1 nude pictures1 the reading of suggestive novels1 the polluting of the imagination1 and incorrect ideas of the proper relation in marriage4 ,thought is allowed to dwell too much upon these subjects1 the flow of blood to the sexual parts becomes excessive1 and the only remedy is by purifying the mind1 correcting the ideas1 resolutely determining to be moderate and considerate1 removing all causes of undue sexual excitement1 resorting to the bath1 being judicious in the diet1 giving due consideration to physical culture1 and taking such an amount of exercise daily as is calculated to secure the best physical results and most effectual sexual mastery4 ,the man who needs to be helped in the direction of moderation would do well to confide in his wife that her influence over him may be helpful and corrective1 for in this1 as in other things1 a discreet and considerate wife is her husband's best balance-wheel4 ,,chapter ,x4 ,,the ,,care ,,of ,,the ,,bride4 ,few young husbands are intelligent guardians of their brides4 ,indeed1 when first entering upon the marriage relation1 young husbands are in danger of making some very serious mistakes4 ,many a husband has had cause to regret that in his lack of consideration he has allowed his passion to awaken in his wife such a feeling of disgust as to obliterate her affection for him1 to blast the prospects of all future happiness1 and render both himself and wife miserable throughout all their subsequent years4 ,in the first place a young husband should know that many women1 even at the time of their marriage1 are totally ignorant of all questions relating to sex4 ,there are some women who do not so much as know that there are any physical differences between men and women4 ,there are others who may know there is some difference1 but into whose minds the thought of coition has never once entered4 ,while this may not be true in a majority of cases1 yet it is true in a large number of instances4 ,we have even known of young wives who have approached the period of their first confinement who did not know the cause of their increasing bodily size2 and we recently learned of an instance where the physician was already in the room to attend the expectant mother1 who thought that she was to be delivered of her child by a surgical operation4 ,she thought that the doctor was to make an incision in the abdomen1 and remove her child in that way4 ,to say that all this is culpable ignorance does not1 however1 remove the fact4 ,young husbands do well to recognize the fact that such ignorance exists1 and that1 in addition to such possible ignorance upon the part of his own bride1 there is that general condition of exhaustion and debility which follows as the result of the weeks of preparation and nervous excitement which have preceded and culminated at the time of the wedding festivities4 ,we have already dwelt upon this phase of the subject1 and we need not enlarge upon it here4 ,with the poor it is weeks1 and sometimes months1 of sewing and preparation4 ,with the rich it is the meeting of social exactions and requirements1 formal visitations1 and then senseless seclusion4 ,in each instance the results are equally enervating1 bringing most brides1 whether rich or poor1 to the one great event in their lives in an exhausted and nervous condition4 ,to say the least1 this uniform physical depletion entitles the bride to the most thoughtful consideration and most gentle treatment that the young husband can exercise4 ,with ignorance upon the one side1 inconsideration and ungovernable passion upon the other1 the combination is unfortunate and the results are oftentimes serious4 ,the first act in the drama which is to culminate in separation and an effort to secure a divorce1 is often enacted upon the night of the very day which witnessed the marriage ceremony and was attended with the congratulation of friends4 ,the ignorance and inconsiderateness of both are alike to blame for this sad result--the wife for her lack of knowledge and consideration1 and the husband for his lack of intelligent and thoughtful appreciation of the delicacies and dangers of his new relation4 ,in ,greece the custom prevails of allowing three days to intervene between the marriage ceremony and the consummation of marriage4 ,it would be well if such a custom prevailed everywhere4 ,it would allow the exhausted1 nervous1 timid bride to bring to the consummation of the marriage relation renewed vigor and mental composure4 ,it would prepare the mind of the young husband for such self-possession and restraint as would be becoming in this new relation1 and would secure for him a happiness greatly heightened in intensity1 and that would be prolonged through all the years that lie beyond4 ,it is enough to make a thoughtful and considerate man blush to think of the scores of wives who annually confess to their physicians that the only rape that was ever committed upon them was by their own husbands the first day of their married life4 ,we recently heard of an instance where the expressed impatience and manifest impetuosity of the young husband1 the moment he came into the bridal chamber with his young wife1 awakened in her mind such a feeling of disgust that after a brief parleying the young wife left the room and refused ever to return to her husband1 and thus terminated abruptly what1 with thoughtful and considerate approaches and manifest affection1 might have resulted in a union of lifelong happiness4 ,in his book1 entitled ,plain ,talks on ,avoided ,subjects1 ,dr4 ,henry ,l4 ,guernsey says3 ,tenderly and with great consideration should these privileges be accepted1 for1 contrary to the opinion of many men1 there is no sensual passion on the part of the bride that induces her to grant such liberties4 ,then how exquisitely gentle and how forbearing should be the bridegroom's deportment on such occasions4 ,sometimes such a shock is administered to her sensibilities that she does not recover from it for years2 and in consequence of this shock1 rudely or ruthlessly administered1 she forms a deeply rooted antipathy against the very act which is the bond and seal of a truly happy married life4 ,mrs4 ,e4 ,b4 ,duffey1 in her book entitled ,the ,relations of the ,sexes1 says3 ,do not be in too great haste to brush the bloom from the fruit you covet4 ,it will lose half its attractions at once4 ,practice in lawful wedlock the arts of the seducer rather than the violence of the man who commits rape1 and you will find the reward of your patience very sweet and lasting4 ,this bud of passion cannot be forced rudely open4 ,its development must be the work of time4 ,if the young wife is met with violence1 if she finds that her husband regards the gratification of his own desires more than her feelings--and if she be worn and wearied with excesses in the early days of her married life1 the bud will be blighted4 ,the husband will have only himself to blame if he is bound all his life to an apathetic1 irresponsive wife4 ,it is easy to imagine the unsatisfactory conjugal relations which are brought about in punishment of the husband's early impetuosity and ignorance4 ,he finds an unreciprocal wife1 doubts her affection for him1 because1 with his masculine nature1 he cannot conceive of a love unblended with passion4 ,she1 in her defrauded womanhood1 feels aggrieved and debased by any conjugal approach--especially by an enforced one--and finds it equally hard to understand how affection and passion can be united2 the one she knows to be so self-forgetful and denying1 and the other she has such abundant cause for believing utterly selfish and rapacious4 ,the excesses which are likely to follow after the earliest experiences of married life are also to be cautiously guarded against4 ,the author whom we have just quoted says3 ,i will venture to say that there is not one man in fifty who in the first years of his married life is not guilty of sexual abuse towards his wife1 which effect is alone sufficient to account for the great prevalence of female diseases4 ,not that every woman is injured by it to the extent of inflammation and ulceration1 yet many are4 ,i am not running a tilt against married men4 ,i blame them for no intentional wrong--only for ignorance4 ,and women are also equally to blame in this matter4 ,they are just as ignorant as their husbands1 and often allow themselves to yield to demands or importunities when1 if they were to consider it a conscientious duty to refuse1 they would do so4 ,the tender1 delicate organs of generation in women are often abused to such an extent by too frequent use that they become inflamed and ulcerate1 and render the woman an invalid4 ,even the husband does not see the cause or measure the extent of his folly1 but persists in his selfish course in spite of the sufferings he causes his wife1 constantly aggravating her disorders1 and rendering them more and more hopeless of cure4 ,thus the husband1 kind and attentive in all other matters--who would not allow the winds of heaven to visit the cheek of his wife too roughly--becomes1 in this one respect1 a very--,i was about to say brute2 but the animal creation presents no parallel case1 so ,i find no appropriate word in comparison4 ,in his book entitled ,the ,transmission of ,life1 ,dr4 ,george ,h4 ,napheys1 in writing upon this subject1 says3 ,the consequence is that in repeated instances the thoughtlessness and precipitancy of the young husband lay the foundation for numerous diseases of the womb and nervous system2 for the gratification of a night he forfeits the comfort of years4 ,let him1 at the time when the slow-paced hours have at last brought to him the treasures he has so long been coveting1 administer with a frugal hand and with a wise forethought4 ,let him be considerate1 temperate1 and self-controlled4 ,he will never regret it if he defer for days the exercise of those privileges which the law now gives him1 but which are more than disappointing if seized upon in an arbitrary1 coarse1 or brutal manner4 ,the husband should be aware that while1 as a rule1 the first conjugal approaches are painful to the new wife1 and1 therefore1 that she only submits and cannot enjoy them4 ,this pain should not be excessively severe1 nor should it last for any great length of time--not more than one or two weeks4 ,should the case be otherwise1 then something is wrong1 and if rest does not restore the parts a physician should be consulted4 ,it is especially necessary that great moderation be observed at first1 an admonition which we the more urgently give because we know it is needed1 because those specialists who devote their time to diseases of women are constantly meeting patients who date their months and years of misery from the epoch of marriage4 ,the pain and inconvenience to which the doctor refers in the preceding paragraph is oftentimes due to the presence in young wives of what is known as the hymen4 ,this is a thin membrane which nature places near the lower extremity of the vaginal passage to protect the delicate linings of the reproductive organs of the female against the admission of any foreign substance1 exposure to cold1 or any other influence which might tend to the injury of the reproductive nature4 ,with the growth of the body this membrane sometimes acquires such consistency or strength that the rupturing of it is attended with inconvenience1 and oftentimes with much pain4 ,this fact alone should render a young husband very considerate1 dispassionate1 and thoughtful4 ,the pain attendant upon the rupturing of the hymen is not so much due to the sensitiveness of the membrane itself as the fact that it adheres to the walls of the vagina1 and any lateral pressure brought to bear upon the hymen imposes such a tension where the hymen is attached to the walls of the vagina as to produce1 in some instances at least1 intense pain4 ,the rupturing of the hymen is often attended with a small quantity of blood1 sometimes scarcely perceptible1 and at other times more considerable4 ,it was at one time thought that the presence of the hymen was an unmistakable evidence of virginity1 and its absence was regarded as a cause for suspicion1 if not a proof1 of previous sexual relation4 ,while it is true that in most virgins the hymen does exist1 yet we do not have the slightest hesitation in saying that it does not exist in all4 ,it may be ruptured and destroyed by a slight accident during childhood1 is sometimes even destroyed at birth2 in abnormal cases it may need to be destroyed mechanically by the family physician in order to remove it as an impediment in the more easy flow of the monthly period4 ,mrs4 ,e4 ,b4 ,duffey1 in ,what ,women ,should ,know1 when writing of the test of virginity1 says3 ,it is popularly believed that the husband receives proof1 upon the consummation of his marriage1 of the previous chastity of his wife4 ,if he obtains this evidence it is safe to accept it as conclusive1 though rare exceptional cases are to be met with in which the evidence counts for nothing4 ,if1 on the other hand1 the proof is wanting1 it is most unjust and cruel1 on the strength of this alone1 to charge a wife with want of chastity previous to marriage4 ,it is not uncommon for accidents1 which may occur at any time1 and which may even date back to birth itself1 to destroy this evidence1 or it may never have existed4 ,dr4 ,napheys says3 ,the presence or absence of the hymen is no test4 ,there is1 in fact1 no sign whatever which allows even an expert positively to say that a woman has or has not suffered the approaches of one of the opposite sex4 ,the true and only test which any man should look for is modesty in demeanor before marriage1 absence both of assumed ignorance and a disagreeable familiarity1 and a pure and religious frame of mind4 ,where these are present he need not doubt that he has a faithful and chaste wife4 ,it is important for young husbands to know that when a serious inconvenience is experienced in the consummation of marriage1 if not easily removed by care and consideration1 but remains an impediment or a pain for a period of days1 or of a couple of weeks1 medical advice and assistance should by all means be sought4 ,in the case of women who have advanced in years before marriage such difficulties often occur1 and medical assistance is the safest1 most sensible and speediest source of delivery4 ,we cannot pass this point without seeking to impress upon the young husband the danger liable to result from the use of wine and other stimulants upon the occasion of his marriage4 ,one of the most terrible afflictions which can come to any home is the birth of an idiot1 and if the statements of medical authority are to be relied upon1 the birth of these unfortunate burdens to their parents is due to their conception at a time when either the husband or the wife1 or both1 were under the effects of stimulants1 and the temporary idiocy of an inebriated man or woman has been transmitted and permanently embodied in the begetting and birth of a child that has been robbed of its rights by the wrongs of its parents1 who have pulled down upon their own heads one of the most awful and prolonged curses which could be suffered as a result of a human mistake4 ,note also carefully the fact that the exhausted physical condition of the bride is sure to result in an enfeebled offspring1 should conception occur before she has regained her physical powers4 ,it is possible that the exhausted physical condition of young brides1 and that the excessive indulgence which is likely to follow the earlier months of marriage1 either one or both1 are largely the chief cause1 or causes1 of the frightful mortality among first-born children4 ,the joys of the newly-married are not only noticeable1 but very beautiful4 ,the outgoings of human affection are as beautiful and impressive as the relation of the birds that don their brightest plumage1 sing their sweetest songs and build their nests in the springtime1 when the mating instincts and emotional nature of the birds reach their highest and most animate expression4 ,a young bride1 in conversation with one of her intimate friends1 in alluding to her happiness1 said3 ,it is too good to last4 ,the fact is1 that this intensity of reproductive activity must give place to corresponding rest-periods of considerable length1 or depletion and death would ensue as the inevitable result4 ,the wave not only cannot1 but it should not always remain at its crest1 but it must subside and sink1 in order that it may regain itself and rise on the crest of a new wave of emotional activity4 ,the pleasures of married life can only be heightened and perpetuated in a home of your own4 ,the newly-married should always live apart by themselves1 wherever such a course is at all possible4 ,living with the parents of either party is generally disadvantageous1 and life in a hotel or boarding-house is not only undesirable1 but dangerous4 ,birds never live in a boarding-house1 neither should married people4 ,to the newly-married it is a place of special disadvantage and danger4 ,they need to be alone1 rather than under the constant gaze of the curious4 ,in such a place both are exposed to the constant assaults of gossips1 the wife is compelled to live in idleness1 is a prisoner in her own room1 is exposed to perils innumerable1 and jealousies and alienations are likely to be engendered4 ,a boarding-house is no place for the newly-married1 who have a right to expect that lawful and honorable marriage may result in parentage4 ,any medical practitioner can testify to the number of young wives who have besought them to murder their unborn children because they were boarding1 and it was not convenient to have a family4 ,a modest little home of your own is always best4 ,if that is not possible1 then rent a house1 but do not start in a pretentious and extravagant way4 ,live within your means from the beginning4 ,do not bank upon the future4 ,if you do not save money at first1 the probabilities are that you never will4 ,debt is a terrible incubus4 ,it will take the color out of the cheek of your wife1 it will despoil the husband of pluck and energy and hope4 ,it will cast over the prospect of coming years the dark shadow of despondency and despair4 ,cheerfully submit to such self-denials as will enable you to save something from your income4 ,join a good and safe building association1 and if you cannot buy an humble home at once1 plan to do so as early as possible4 ,plan for your needs and comforts1 rather than for display and wretchedness4 ,home happiness is found in contraction1 and not in expansion4 ,a large house with many rooms requires the presence of many servants4 ,these irritate1 bring constant annoyance to the wife1 who should be carefully delivered from undue anxiety2 and they also impose large outlays of money1 for which neither the husband nor the wife receive many returns1 unless it may be the empty satisfaction of what our friends will think4 ,if you really wish your friends to think well of you1 be governed by sense and not by sentiment4 ,for the sake of health1 of present and future happiness1 and the well-being of your children that are to be1 both the husband and the wife should be industrious4 ,his daily occupation and her daily duties will prove ministers of mercy to each4 ,idleness for either is a misfortune4 ,discontent1 dissatisfaction and divorce1 one or all1 are always born of idleness4 ,perhaps one of the happiest moments in your life will be when you step into a house which you can call your own home1 and for the first time sit down at your own table4 ,if you wish to perpetuate that joy1 see to it that you are attentive1 devoted1 given to a verbal expression of your affection and an appreciation for every effort made by your wife to render your home attractive1 your food palatable and your life enjoyable4 ,let her know that you appreciate every effort that she puts forth1 and as the months and the years go by do not think a repetition of praise would become an offending monotony to her4 ,a wife never ceases to love the expressions of admiration1 appreciation and affection upon the part of her husband4 ,if you start out with a struggle to determine whether the will of the wife or the will of the husband shall have preference and pre-eminence1 you may reasonably expect contention and strife for all the rest of your life4 ,let each seek to surpass the other in consideration1 deference1 and even self-denial1 and the light and the joy which break upon your home in the beginning will abide to the end4 ,,chapter ,,xi4 ,,the ,,young ,,wife ,,and ,,motherhood4 ,in a previous place we have spoken of the importance of industry and activity as important elements in a young wife1 and as essential in securing success for the family1 happiness in the home1 and bodily health and vigor for the wife4 ,an idle woman is always an unhappy woman1 and she eventually succeeds in making every one unhappy about her4 ,her household duties are no misfortune1 but a blessing4 ,but there is also another side to the question4 ,unthoughtful husbands do not always appreciate the magnitude of the duties which fall to the successful homemaker and homekeeper4 ,her duties are legion4 ,we do not now speak of the wives who live in affluence1 who never need to regard expense1 who have only to indicate their wish in order to have it executed2 but of the great multitude of wives and mothers who preside in the homes of the great middle class and of those who struggle with the economies and duties in homes of small means4 ,the young husband should appreciate the fact that if the beautiful poetry which adorns the tombstones in our cemeteries could be translated into truthful prose they would tell of the thousands of martyrs to mending1 sewing1 baking1 scrubbing--they would tell that the weapons by which hundreds of these housekeepers were slain were the broom1 the sewing-machine1 the cradle and the ladle4 ,the ,thirty ,years' ,war was not so severe or so prolonged as the warfare which is waged from early morning till late at night by the great army of industrious wives1 busy mothers and anxious homekeepers4 ,if the boy has lost his book or the girl her bonnet1 mother must help to find it4 ,if the baby coughs or cries at night the father sleeps on oblivious of the fact1 but the infant cannot stir without being heard by its anxious and attentive mother4 ,if sickness compels1 she bends in anxious vigils over the little life that lies in the cradle4 ,if the breadwinner is brought home sick1 it matters not how manifold the duties of the mother1 no trained nurse can take the place of the wife at the bedside4 ,in health and in sickness1 in prosperity and adversity1 during the day and at night1 the wife and the mother finds herself the centre of duties1 and very often of exactions4 ,in the demands which a young husband makes upon the young wife he should remember what are her duties and requirements during the day1 in the home1 in the church1 in society1 in the community2 he should remember that physically she is the weaker vessel1 that even when in her best physical condition sexual inclination is largely dormant1 and when she is weary and worn she deserves to be treated with more than usual thoughtfulness and consideration4 ,whatever demands the young husband makes upon his wife1 whether as his helper or the participant of his joys1 he should remember that even from the low standpoint of selfish interest and personal pleasure he wrongs himself1 in addition to being unjust and oftentimes cruel to his wife1 when he fails to take into consideration her physical condition and manifold duties4 ,if the young husband and wife desire to be permanently happy they dare not ignore the special purpose for which ,god instituted marriage4 ,while marriage has other purposes1 yet the great final purpose is the raising up of a family and the perpetuation of the human race4 ,the injunction which ,god gave to ,noah1 when he said1 ,be ye fruitful and multiply1 bringing forth abundantly in the earth1 and multiply therein1 is to-day1 and ever will be1 in force4 ,among the ,israelites barrenness was regarded as one of the greatest of misfortunes4 ,in many instances it was regarded as a cause of personal shame1 and even of dishonor4 ,when ,hannah went up to the ,temple and prayed for a son she was only giving expression to the longings and desires which filled the heart of every barren ,israelitish woman who had entered into the sacred bonds of marriage1 and when ,god promised ,abraham and ,sarah that their seed should be in multitude as the stars in the heavens they regarded themselves as the recipients of one of the greatest blessings which ,god could bestow4 ,the same is true in ,india1 where the people are polygamists in theory1 but seldom in practice1 except when the first wife is childless4 ,the family must not be left without a priest1 or the parents without descendants2 therefore the husband is permitted by law to take two1 or even more1 wives1 in order that he may raise up children unto himself4 ,if marriage was instituted for the good of the man and the woman who enter into this sacred relation1 their highest good cannot be attained in this relation until their union is blessed with children4 ,it has been aptly said that the man needs the woman and the woman needs the man1 and both need the children4 ,the obligation to have children is not only enjoined in the ,scriptures1 but written in the physical1 social and moral constitution of man and woman4 ,this law is rooted in the unconscious law of life which bids us perpetuate our kind2 which guards over the conservation of life4 ,love looks to marriage and marriage to offspring as a natural sequence4 ,any entering into the bond of marriage with the resolved purpose of avoiding the begetting and the bearing of children constitutes a union which accepts lust in the place of love1 and converts the honorable estate of marriage into a form of legalized prostitution4 ,an earnest writer aptly says3 ,i must counsel husbands and wives to cherish the hope of becoming parents1 and to let their hearts stand in a holy attitude in this respect4 ,you should allow neither moderate income1 financial pressure1 sensual pleasure1 nor evil forebodings1 to cause you to entertain unholy thoughts or induce you to engage in criminal proceedings in this matter4 ,no child should be considered an unwelcome intruder in the home4 ,the heart of the home is the cradle2 it is the cementing tie between husband and wife4 ,god intends that husbands and wives should become parents2 and no pure woman nor honorable man will enter upon matrimony with intentions to the contrary4 ,if they do1 ,god will visit upon them degraded morals1 ruined health1 financial loss1 or other terrible inflictions4 ,the world has millions of faithful wives and mothers1 but there are thousands of childless wives who are so because they entered into that black crime of conspiring with the devil to prevent them from being mothers4 ,they regard children as an unmitigated nuisance1 and consequently darken1 blast and damn their own lives with an act of murder4 ,on the other hand1 ,god blesses the mothers1 in that he prolongs their days and brings up their children to reflect glory and honor upon them4 ,dr4 ,guernsey says3 ,the object of marriage is the ultimation of that love which brings the two together and binds them together in the procreation and rearing of children for heaven4 ,this is the only true aim and sole object about which every earthly desire1 interest and plan of the married pair should cluster4 ,no greater crime in the sight of heaven exists to-day than that of preventing the natural use of marriage4 ,this is done in a great variety of ways1 every one of which is criminal1 in whatever form practiced2 and none will escape the penalty--no1 not one4 ,nature's laws are inexorable2 every transgression1 therefore1 is surely punished1 even at the climacteric period1 if not before4 ,the questions of failing health1 or physical inability1 or too frequent conceptions are matters for the investigation1 advice and decision of an experienced1 judicious and upright physician4 ,they should never be taken in hand and judged upon by the parties themselves4 ,and to the objection ',can't afford to have children--they cost too much1' ,i have faith enough to reply1 ',our heavenly ,father never sends more mouths than he can feed4' ,let each one do his and her duty in life1 and this cavil falls to the ground--which1 when spilled1 cannot be gathered up4 ,good people everywhere rejoice when they behold a married couple living together in an orderly manner and rearing a large family of children4 ,how often is ,queen ,victoria held up as a pattern of excellence in this respect4 ,she accepted and acknowledged ,prince ,albert as her husband and gave herself to him as his wife2 and so indeed she was in every sense of the term4 ,although a queen1 sitting on the pinnacle of power1 she did not seek to avoid the pangs1 the dangers or inconveniences of bearing children4 ,by her own personal strength her twelve children were brought forth1 and her own sensitive fibres and tissues felt the suffering4 ,she nursed1 caressed and loved them like a good mother1 and she was a royal mother6 ,other kings and queens have done likewise2 other husbands and wives1 high in power1 wealth and fashion1 have done and are still doing the same4 ,and how much the less should we1 in the humbler walks of life1 obey the divine command1 ',be fruitful and multiply'8 ,if a husband truly loves his wife1 and if she truly loves him1 they will live for each other and in each other1 and they will be one2 and they will seek to do right in every particular of their marital relation4 ,we believe that every thoughtful man and considerate husband will concede that motherhood may not justly or properly be forced upon a resisting wife4 ,that many wives do refuse to bear children1 no well-informed person can deny4 ,sometimes the reasons assigned are unworthy of womanhood1 base and ignoble4 ,at other times the reasons assigned by the wife are worthy of the most thoughtful consideration4 ,but whether the reasons which the wife entertains are honorable or dishonorable1 correct or criminal1 it must nevertheless be acknowledged that she is a free moral agent1 and if she assumes the responsibility of declining one of the main purposes for which marriage was instituted she must herself bear the responsibility4 ,to designedly inflict conception upon an unwilling and resisting wife the husband makes himself guilty of great injustice1 invades the personal rights of his wife as an individual1 and is guilty of a great wrong4 ,where a wife is unwilling to become a mother1 the best way for a husband to move her mind properly in this matter is to bring her under the influence of such books and teachings as will help her to understand her duty and obligation in this matter2 help her to see that this is one of the great purposes for which marriage is instituted1 and that where childbearing is intentionally and persistently evaded it becomes a crime against man and against ,god4 ,many wives are not willing to consent to become mothers because they are unwilling to give up society2 they prefer to live for the rounds of fashionable life4 ,with others there is a dread of childbearing4 ,this is not so common in brides or newly-married women2 but with many1 after they have given birth to one child they are unwilling ever to consent to a similar struggle4 ,had these young wives been made intelligent by their mothers1 and been properly instructed upon these subjects before marriage1 and lived according to the laws of hygiene and health during the period preceding the birth of their child1 their experience might have been very different1 and they would never have had the dread which comes to so many4 ,there are good books upon this subject1 and those who live hygienically and properly will find the terrors of childbearing greatly mitigated2 indeed1 they may be almost wholly alleviated4 ,there are those who contend that childbearing may be rendered practically painless1 and those who desire information upon this subject would do well to read the book entitled ,maternity ,without ,suffering1 which is worth many times its cost4,a ,a ,maternity ,without ,suffering1 by ,dr4 ,emma ,f4 ,a4 ,drake4 ,cloth binding4 ,price fifty cents4 ,published by the ,vir ,publishing ,company4 ,there are other women who dread the care and rearing of children1 and there are still others whose aversion to childbearing is wholly due to their false ideas of life4 ,to us1 one of the saddest sights is a woman with a pronounced ,god-given mother-instinct who is unwilling to bear children1 or1 if she is the mother of children1 is not willing to care for them1 but thrusts them from her1 committing them wholly to nurses and attendants1 and then allows the mother-instinct to find its expression in petting a cat or mothering a dog4 ,no married woman should refuse to become a mother because of its perils4 ,statistics go to show that more unmarried women between the ages of twenty and forty-five die than of married women4 ,god designed woman for motherhood1 fitted her for its physical requirements1 and her largest happiness1 best health1 greatest usefulness and longest life is attained by conformity to this divine purpose4 ,among the greatest sufferers in this world are the large numbers of those who have sought to defeat the purposes of ,god and have brought upon themselves untold misery4 ,obedience brings blessing4 ,it is not only the end1 but the way of the transgressor that is hard4 ,parenthood is also essential to the rounding out of the moral nature4 ,that which is noblest and best in woman's nature is awakened and quickened when for the first time is folded to her breast a new life which is a part of herself4 ,the child will teach her to be unselfish1 to live for the happiness and well-being of another4 ,its government and discipline will awaken in her mind the principles which she desires to instil into the mind of her child1 and as she gathers her little ones about her1 tells them of ,god and heaven1 and teaches them to lisp their infant prayer1 her religious nature will attain unto a perfection and beauty which would not be possible under any other earthly influence4 ,the thoughtful and judicious wife also recognizes the fact that the presence of children in the home will exert an influence over the father which will refine1 benefit and bless as no other influence on earth can4 ,the little ones that reach out their hands in dependence toward him will inspire him to energy and effort in a higher1 holier and nobler way than could ever be done by any commercial consideration4 ,the noblest and most considerate manifestations of the father nature can in no other way be called into so full and beautiful an exercise as by the presence of children in the home4 ,if the love for his children and the desire for their well-being and blessing do not teach him larger lessons of self-denial than he has ever known before1 he will demonstrate that he is incapable of feeling the influence of the most potent incentive which ,god has permitted to come into human lives4 ,but the children will have an effect not only upon the parents individually1 but they will bless both by drawing the husband and wife into a closer bond of sympathy and affection than would be possible under any other conditions4 ,it has aptly been said that children are golden links that bind the husband and wife in a bond of closest endearment4 ,they also serve as a buffer to break the jars of family life4 ,these little ones awaken the best qualities in the natures of both parents4 ,they enlarge and round out those qualities which would otherwise remain dwarfed and prematurely die4 ,they afford a purpose in life for the father and mother1 such as can be found in no other object upon earth4 ,in the study of their own children parents have an opportunity to learn human nature as they can learn it nowhere else4 ,when their children are old enough they will criticise1 suggest1 and often help the parents to correct faults which would otherwise go unnoted and which could be properly criticised by no one else4 ,it is the absence of this help which children bring into the home which oftentimes renders childless married people more faulty than others who have the advantage of such help4 ,in times of trouble and trial the children will be prepared to comfort and sustain their parents4 ,in times of sickness they will come with their sympathy and assistance1 and when advancing years and the infirmities of age come they will be prepared to comfort and sustain their parents1 and in their declining years afford them a refuge and a home1 and when death comes they will shed the tear of sympathy and over their graves will plant the flowers that shall bloom in beauty and fragrance4 ,that the mother-instinct exists in the hearts of infants is early seen in the desire upon the part of little girls to mother their dolls1 whether they have been purchased at great cost or are made of a few old clothes rolled up into the shape of a rag-baby4 ,where a stranger is uncertain about the sex of a child it can usually be pretty certainly determined by asking whether they prefer a doll or a horse4 ,it would be wrong1 however1 to suppose1 because the little boy manifests the preference for a horse1 that therefore he will never be interested in children4 ,the pleasures and satisfactions of parenthood are as great to the father as to the mother1 and while there is a difference between the mother-nature and the father-nature1 yet1 because of the terribly perverting influences of modern society1 the desire for children is often stronger in the husband than in the wife4 ,where the natures of both are as ,god intended1 sterility and barrenness would be alike a great disappointment for either4 ,the desire for children is natural both to men and women1 and in the home1 as in universal nature1 unfruitfulness and barrenness are a great misfortune4 ,about one marriage in eight or ten is usually barren of children4 ,in the animal kingdom1 and among insects especially1 an abundance of food is indispensable to a rapid increase of numbers by reproduction4 ,in the human family the question of food as it stands related to the question of reproduction is an important one4 ,if the food is insufficient1 either in quantity or quality1 to maintain good physical conditions1 or if it is too abundant or too rich1 a tendency to sterility and barrenness is alike the result4 ,illustrations are not wanting of persons who1 possessing large wealth and allowing themselves great indulgence in eating1 became fat and corpulent and remained childless1 but when financial reverses came their corpulence departed with their wealth1 and they became the parents of children4 ,while the question of food is very important1 it is not the only cause of barrenness4 ,sterility may be due to excessive sexuality in the marriage relation1 or it may be due to such ante-nuptial indulgence of the husband as has resulted in a depleted condition of the reproductive organs4 ,sometimes it is due to apathy on the part of the wife1 and at other times1 although less frequent1 it may be the result upon her part of too intense pleasure during coition4 ,it may also be due to abnormal conditions produced by tampering with the reproductive function4 ,in some instances there is a lack of such physiological compatibility as is necessary to result in conception4 ,instances are not wanting where barrenness has existed and the subsequent remarriage of both parties have demonstrated that neither were personally sterile1 but that unitedly they were physiologically incompatible4 ,barrenness is oftentimes the result of displacement of the womb or other unfavorable conditions in the female4 ,it would be wrong1 however1 to suppose that the difficulty may not rest wholly with the husband4 ,even where a man seems in good bodily vigor and enjoys excellent health1 the sperm may be devoid of those characteristics which are essential to the production of life4 ,this condition can only be determined by a competent physician with the aid of the microscope and other means4 ,it is also asserted by reliable medical authority that miscarriage may take place so early after conception that the wife may never suspect the real condition1 but imagine herself sterile4 ,the cause of the barrenness of not a few women is clearly traceable to the fact that because of the impure life of the husband1 either before or after marriage1 he contracted gonorrh,aa1 and although at the time he may have thought it a small matter1 and soon regarded himself as entirely cured1 this terrible disease left its trace behind it1 and perhaps two or three years afterward1 when he entered the marriage relation1 he imparted the hidden remnants of this disease to his innocent and unsuspecting wife1 and in whom1 perchance1 the real disease has never been recognized at all1 but the inflammation which it caused extended from the vagina to the womb1 and then out through the tubes to the ovaries1 and the delicate organs of reproduction were so injured as to result in permanent barrenness4 ,the cure for barrenness is found in remedying the cause4 ,to discover what that cause is often requires the consultation and advice of a thoroughly competent physician1 and to arrive at the most reliable conclusion a physical examination of the wife or the husband1 or of both1 may be necessary4 ,where no means have been used to prevent conception1 and the young wife has remained childless for a period of three years1 there is adequate ground for a reasonable fear that causes exist1 either in the husband or in the wife1 which are likely to result in permanent sterility1 and then no time should be lost to discover and remove the cause or causes4 ,the earlier years of married life are usually more fruitful than the years later on4 ,even where marriage is contracted after twenty-five years of age1 the tendency towards sterility is easily perceptible4 ,marriage1 either at too early or too late a period1 tends to barrenness4 ,upon the part of the female the years from eighteen to twenty-four are likely to be the best years for marriage and maternity4 ,sometimes there is barrenness for a period of years1 and this is followed by a period of quite frequent childbearing4 ,barrenness may frequently be remedied by the exercise of great care upon the part of both the husband and the wife in the matter of diet and proper physical exercise4 ,sometimes a period of separation1 varying from a few weeks to several months1 is necessary to effect such physical changes as are requisite to the desired result4 ,single beds and separate apartments are sometimes essential1 not only in order to secure conception1 but to protect the beginnings of life from such disturbing influences as tend to produce the abnormal ejection of the embryo from its place of retention and growth in the womb4 ,,chapter ,,xii4 ,,questions ,,concerning ,,offspring4 ,it is natural that parents should long for children1 and it is only proper that those who are barren should seek by all judicious and proper means to secure fruitfulness4 ,but we are sorry to say that there is a widely prevalent and unnatural desire upon the part of many wives1 and sometimes of their husbands also1 to evade conception4 ,this desire oftentimes leads these unnatural parents to seek the destruction of unborn human life4 ,if the testimony of medical authority upon this subject is to be believed1 this mania for child-murder is verily the terror that walketh in darkness and the destruction that wasteth at noonday4 ,it is the duty of parents to protect the lives of their children1 and the mother who desires or even consents to the murder of the infant in the cradle where ,god has placed it preparatory to its birth is as truly a murderer as when she strangles or stabs or poisons her infant in the cradle in which she has placed it after it is born4 ,that the law recognizes the gravity of this crime is manifest by the fact that in nearly all the ,states of the ,union this crime is regarded as murder1 and punished accordingly4 ,in some ,states1 if the mother is proven guilty1 the penalty is death1 and in nearly all the ,states all who participate1 have knowledge of1 or assist1 directly or indirectly1 in producing such a result1 are punished with imprisonment ranging from five to twenty years4 ,it has been supposed by some that where the beginnings of life are destroyed before the period of quickening1 no crime is committed4 ,this is a great mistake4 ,from the moment that the spermatozo,an penetrates the ovum and unites with it1 life is present1 and the destruction of that life is murder4 ,the proposition is a very simple one4 ,the only condition upon which the ovum may remain in the womb is by possessing life4 ,as soon as it becomes dead it is rejected and cast out4 ,if impregnated1 while life continues in it1 during its period of development1 if nature is not interfered with1 it is retained and nourished because it has life4 ,the facts are simple enough3 the germ is either dead or alive4 ,if dead1 nature casts it out2 if alive1 nature retains it4 ,if nature retains it1 and it is destroyed or removed by artificial means1 the person or persons who produce such a result are guilty of murder4 ,there is no middle ground in this matter4 ,dr4 ,h4 ,s4 ,pomeroy1 in his excellent book entitled ,ethics of ,marriage1 aptly says3 ,she who obtains a miscarriage at the earlier months of pregnancy feels comparatively virtuous because she draws the line at 'quickening4' ,this is moral jugglery and ethical hair-splitting2 what evidence is there of soul at five months which may not be found at four8 ,true1 the unborn child of the latter age does not appear to move its legs and arms1 while the other usually does4 ,is the spirit situated in the extremities1 or is the movement of a muscle evidence of a soul8 ,considered from the low plane of physical life only1 what reason is there for the distinction8 ,there has been life from the first2 there is no independent life until birth4 ,it is reasonable to suppose that the ,creator1 who has been steadily at work for four months and fifteen days on one of the most delicate and complicated pieces in his whole laboratory1 and has made no mistake thus far--the work being absolutely perfect as far as carried--considers it of little or no consequence to-day1 but of the utmost importance and value when it shall have been in his hands a few hours longer6 ,dr4 ,napheys1 in ,physical ,life of ,woman1 says3 ,from the moment of conception a new life commences2 a new individual exists2 another child is added to the family4 ,the mother who deliberately sets about to destroy this life1 either by want of care1 or by taking drugs1 or using instruments1 commits as great a crime1 is just as guilty1 as if she strangled her newborn infant1 or as if she snatched from her own breast her six months darling and dashed out its brains against the wall4 ,the blood is upon her head1 and as surely as there is a ,god and a judgment that blood will be required of her4 ,the crime she commits is murder1 child-murder--the slaughter of a speechless1 helpless being1 whom it is her duty1 beyond all things else1 to cherish and preserve4 ,there is no division of opinion upon this subject4 ,the world may hold up its hands in holy horror at the crime of ,herod1 but his crime is being perpetrated to-day in thousands of homes by the slaughter of the innocents at the hands of their own mothers4 ,dr4 ,pomeroy says3 ,we meet in our practice women who would hesitate to harm a fly1 but who admit to having destroyed a half dozen or more of their unborn children1 speaking of it as they would of the drowning of superfluous kittens4 ,how are these thoughtless mother-murderesses to confront the souls of their unborn children on the day of ,judgment8 ,what of the declaration of ,scripture1 ,ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him8 ,while this passage of ,scripture does not say that even a murderer may not be saved1 yet it does say that one who commits murder is unsaved1 and that salvation is not possible to him or her until they have sincerely repented4 ,the results of abortion are not only future and spiritual1 but they are present1 and affect serious temporal and physical results4 ,dr4 ,napheys says3 ,if they have no feeling for the fruit of their womb1 if maternal sentiment is so calloused in their breasts1 let them know that such produced abortions are the constant cause of violent and dangerous womb diseases1 and frequently of early death2 that they bring on mental weakness and often insanity2 that they are the most certain means to destroy domestic happiness which can be adopted4 ,better1 far better1 bear a child every year for twenty years than to resort to such a wicked and injurious step2 better to die1 if need be1 in the pangs of childbirth than to live with such a weight of sin on the conscience4 ,there can be no question but that many women are rendered incurable invalids by the violence which they do to nature by interrupting its work1 destroying the growing life1 and causing its expulsion in an unnatural way4 ,dr4 ,pomeroy aptly says3 ,go into the orchard where there are ripe apples and others but half grown2 try to pluck one of the latter2 you pull1 but it does not come2 you twist this way and that way1 and finally you secure a bruised apple with a torn and mutilated stem1 and you leave behind a branch which bears unmistakable evidence of a violent and unnatural act4 ,turn now to the apples that are fully ripe2 you put out your hand to take one1 and as you touch it it falls gently and willingly into your open palm4 ,if you now examine the stem and the branch from which it came you find no marks of violence2 on the contrary1 both will clearly show that nature had prepared for the separation4 ,the two great dangers of childbearing are hemorrhage and fever2 the first is caused directly and the second often indirectly by one and the same thing--the failure of the torn blood-vessel to close properly at the time of separation between mother and child4 ,by the time the fruit is fully ripe ,nature has so well arranged for this matter that the danger is small1 but at an earlier period it is very considerable4 ,this attempt upon the part of parents to interfere with the order of nature has not only its terrible physical results for those who seek its perpetration1 but it heaps upon the helpless unborn child terrible consequences from which it is powerless to escape4 ,the attempt to destroy life is oftentimes a double failure4 ,in spite of their murderous efforts1 children are oftentimes born to such parents under circumstances which entail the most terrible and lifelong penalties4 ,children that might have been lovable in temper1 companionable in disposition1 healthy and happy1 are born nervous1 fretful and ill-tempered2 and1 because they were unwanted before they were born1 the mother inflicts upon them a disposition which causes her ever after to wish they never had been born4 ,something of what this result is will appear from a paragraph taken from an account by ,helen ,h4 ,thomas1 in ,the ,mothers' ,journal1 entitled ,unwanted1 in which she thus narrates a visit to a friend3 ,i found my friend half sick1 and extremely nervous from lack of sleep1 caused by her crying baby4 ,but the child looked well1 and the young mother assured me that it was constitutionally restless and out of sorts4 ,she also said that she had lost more sleep since his advent--five months previous--than with all her other children--there are three of them--combined4 ,after ,i had queried and wondered as to the why of it1 for a time1 the mother1 with tears in her eyes1 looked down at the little upturned face of the one cradled in her arms1 and said3 ',it is all mother's fault1 darling6 ,she felt that her hands and heart were so full she had no room for you4' ,and then1 looking me full in the face1 she added1 remorsefully3 ,he is my only unwanted child6 ,and so the dear little innocent suffers continually for my rebellious spirit prior to his birth4 ,he seems restless and unhappy all the time2 not at all like my other babies1 who found a welcome awaiting them2 and ,i realize now the mistake ,i made1 in rebelling as ,i did1 during those wearisome months1 which ,i had planned so full of things which had to be put aside2 and ,i am being punished for it1 too4 ,but ,i did not dream that by so doing ,i should bring suffering on my unborn child1 as well as on myself4 ,terrible as this picture may be1 there is another thought which is still more terrible4 ,when we remember that the mental condition of the mother during the period of gestation stamps itself upon the character of the child1 what must be the character of a child who is born of a murderess--one who has either desired1 planned for1 or possibly undertaken and failed in the effort to murder her unborn child8 ,how many of the murderers of to-day have inherited from their own mothers the predisposition to destroy human life8 ,there is but little doubt that if the veil could be thrown off and the influence disclosed which molded the character and shaped the destiny of many of the children who are arraigned in the courts for the awful crime of murder1 who seem possessed of an otherwise unaccountable predisposition to destroy human life1 the terrible revelation would be made that during the period while their body was being formed and bent was being given to their character1 prior to their birth1 their mother was contemplating murder1 and imparted this disposition to her own offspring4 ,such thoughts not only mold the character of the unborn child1 but they also affect the character of the parents themselves4 ,the crime of child-murder must haunt them1 and even if they do not suffer from the lashings of conscience1 the moral character suffers irreparable damage4 ,but few persons are aware of the grave dangers which threaten health1 and even life1 when an abortion is performed4 ,they are apt to think that it occasions only temporary inconvenience1 from which they may recover in a few days1 but all this is a very grave mistake4 ,where accidental or unintentional miscarriage occurs1 it is important both for the wife and for the husband to know that quite as much care needs to be exercised1 and oftentimes for even as long a period1 as for convalescence after confinement4 ,a period of strict separation between husband and wife should be observed for a period of from six weeks to three months1 according to circumstances4 ,a failure to observe these necessities often results in serious and sometimes permanent disability upon the part of the wife4 ,the influences which prepare and pave the way in the minds of young women for the awful crime of child-murder are not difficult to find4 ,one writer says3 ,the real beginning is in early life1 when young people are taught1 directly or by implication1 that reproduction is a matter concerning which speech is indelicate1 of which it is proper1 even1 to feel ashamed2 as they grow older1 and the period of marriage draws near1 they learn to look upon parenthood as a responsibility and a burden which they may properly avoid if possible4 ,parents are to blame for the total absence1 during the education of their daughters1 of proper instruction upon this subject4 ,in the schools for the education of young women the course of study which has been especially arranged for the intellectual training and equipment of young men has been followed without being adapted to the special necessities of intelligent young women4 ,they are taught many things which may serve a good purpose in securing mental discipline1 but which are in every other respect impracticable1 and1 so far as the great purposes of their life are concerned1 wholly useless4 ,all the subjects which are best calculated to fit them for their intended position of wife and mother are studiously avoided2 they are kept in profound ignorance on all subjects of special physiology1 and the question of maternity dare not so much as be mentioned by the professors in the class-room4 ,what adds to this condition is the sad fact that parents do not supplement by personal instruction this lack of teaching in the school4 ,hundreds of young women are married who are so stupid as never to have asked where children come from1 have no idea of the marital relation and the legitimate purpose for which ,god instituted the relation4 ,when conception takes place1 they do not know how to take care of themselves or prepare for the event which could be robbed of its terrors by intelligence4 ,the birth of their first child is attended with such anguish and agony that forever after the marital relation becomes to them one of great dread1 and to escape the condition which is so full of terror to them they resort to the destruction of unborn human life4 ,to correct this great wrong1 the first and most essential step is the widespread dissemination of intelligence upon this subject4 ,marriage needs to be lifted into the light of a sacred and divine institution4 ,the tenderest and most sacred relations of human life need to be preserved in their purity1 so that pure-minded parents may speak of these relations without shame and blushing4 ,young women of mature years should be made familiar with the physiological conditions which attend conception and maternity1 and they need to know that from the moment of conception life exists in the embryo1 and that from the moment the spermatozo,an enters and assimilates with the ovum a separate individual life is really begun1 and that she is1 at that very moment1 the mother of this life within her as truly as when1 in the later months1 she feels the quickening within her1 or after its birth experiences the joy of a mother who clasps her newborn infant in her arms4 ,but the crime of abortion does not rest wholly with the mothers4 ,a large part of the guilt also belongs to the fathers4 ,we may warn the wives against the terrible sin and awful physical consequences of abortion1 but so long as husbands are unwilling to govern their passions1 or to regulate their marital relations in harmony with the teachings of ,scripture1 but insist upon unlimited self-indulgence1 the evils cannot be wholly corrected4 ,husbands need to be taught to look at the question from the wife's standpoint4 ,the wrong is not all upon one side4 ,in a meeting of women only1 after an address by a physician upon these subjects1 a woman rose and said substantially as follows3 ,after ,i was married two years ,i became the mother of a puny1 sickly baby4 ,it required incessant care and watching to keep it alive4 ,when it was only seven months old1 to my surprise1 astonishment and horror1 ,i felt quickening1 and for the first time ,i knew ,i was pregnant again4 ,i was abased1 humiliated6 ,the sense of degradation that filled my soul cannot be described4 ,what had been done8 ,the babe that was born and the babe that was unborn were both to be robbed of their just inheritance4 ,in tears and shame ,i told my mother1 but she said3 ',my child1 why should you grieve and go on as you do8 ,don't you know that your children are legitimate8' ,my whole being rose in rebellion4 ,i stamped my foot and almost screamed3 ',although my husband is the father of my children1 they are not legitimate4 ,no man-made laws1 no priestly rites1 can make an act legitimate that deprives innocent children of their right to life and health4' ,and then1 with sobs and moans1 reaction came1 and ,i fainted in my mother's arms4 ,what was the sequel8 ,two years later both of these children1 after a brief existence1 were lying side by side in the city of the dead1 and until my husband and ,i learned the great laws which ,god has written deep in our being1 we were not able to have children that could live4 ,the following somewhat lengthy but impressive quotation is from ,chastity1 by ,doctor ,dio ,lewis3 ,before we married ,i informed my husband of my dread of having children4 ,i told him ,i was not prepared to meet the sufferings and responsibilities of maternity4 ,he entered into an arrangement to prevent it for a specified time4 ,this agreement was disregarded4 ,after the legal form was over1 and he felt he could now indulge his passion without loss of reputation and under legal and religious sanctions1 he insisted on the surrender of my person to his will4 ,he violated the promise at the beginning of our united life4 ,that fatal bridal night6 ,it has left a cloud on my soul and on my home that can never pass away on earth4 ,i can never forget it4 ,it sealed the doom of our union as it has done of thousands4 ,he was in feeble health2 so was ,i2 and both of us mentally depressed4 ,but the sickly germ was implanted1 and conception took place4 ,we were poor and destitute1 having made no preparations for a home1 ourselves and child4 ,i was a stricken woman4 ,in ,september following we came to----1 and settled in a new country4 ,in the ,march following1 my child1 developed under a heart throbbing with dread and anguish at the thought of its existence1 was born4 ,after three months' struggle ,i became reconciled to my first unwelcome child4 ,but the impress of my impatience and hostility to its existence previous to its birth was on my child1 never to be effaced1 and to this hour that child is the victim or an undesired maternity4 ,in one year ,i found ,i was to be again a mother4 ,i was in a state of frightful despair4 ,my first-born was sickly and very troublesome 7how could it be otherwise87 needing constant care and nursing4 ,my husband chopped wood for our support4 ,of the injustice of bringing children into the world to struggle with poverty and misery ,i was then as sensible as now4 ,i was in despair4 ,i felt that death would be preferable to maternity under such circumstances4 ,a desire and a determination to get rid of my child entered into my heart4 ,i consulted a lady friend1 and by her persuasion and assistance killed it4 ,within less than a year maternity was again imposed upon me1 with no better prospect of doing justice to my child4 ,it was a most painful conviction to me2 ,i felt that ,i could not have another child at that time4 ,all seemed dark as death4 ,i had begged and prayed to be spared this trial again until ,i was prepared to accept it joyfully2 but my husband insisted upon his gratification1 without regard to my wishes and condition4 ,i consulted a physician1 and told him of my unhappy state of mind and my aversion to having another child for the present4 ,he was ready with his logic1 his medicines and instruments1 and told me how to destroy it4 ,after experimenting on myself three months1 ,i was successful4 ,i killed my child about five months after conception4 ,a few months after this1 maternity was again forced upon me1 to my grief and anguish4 ,i determined again on my child's destruction2 but my courage failed as ,i came to the practical deed4 ,my health and life were in jeopardy4 ,for my living child's sake ,i wished to live4 ,i made up my mind to do the best ,i could for my unborn babe1 whose existence seemed so unnatural and repulsive4 ,i knew its young life would be deeply and lastingly affected by my mental and physical condition4 ,i became1 in a measure1 reconciled to my dark fate1 and was as resigned and happy as ,i could be under the circumstances4 ,i had just such a child as ,i had every reason to expect4 ,i could do no justice to it4 ,how could ,i8 ,soon after the birth of my child my husband insisted on his accustomed injustice4 ,without any wish of my own1 maternity was again forced upon me4 ,i dared not attempt to get rid of the child--abortion seemed so cruel1 so inhuman1 unnatural and repulsive4 ,i resolved again1 for my child's sake1 to do the best ,i could for it4 ,though ,i could not joyfully welcome1 ,i resolved quietly to endure its existence4 ,after the birth of this child ,i felt that ,i could have no more to share our poverty and to suffer the wrongs and trials of an unwelcome existence4 ,i felt that ,i would rather die at once1 and thus end my life and my power to be a mother together4 ,my husband cast the entire care of the family on me4 ,i had scarcely one hour to devote to my children4 ,my husband still insisted on his gratification4 ,i was the veriest slave alive4 ,life had lost its charms4 ,the grave seemed my only refuge and death my only friend4 ,in this state1 known as it was to my husband1 he thrust maternity upon me twice4 ,i employed a doctor to kill my child1 and in the destruction of it1 in what should have been the vigor of my life1 ended my power to be a mother4 ,i was shorn of the brightest jewel of my womanhood4 ,i suffered as woman alone can suffer1 not only in body1 but in bitter remorse and anguish of soul4 ,all this ,i passed through under the terrible1 withering consciousness that it was all done and suffered solely that the passion of my husband might have a momentary indulgence4 ,yet such had been my false religious and social education that1 in submitting my person to his passion1 ,i did it in the honest conviction that in marriage my body became the property of my husband4 ,he said so4 ,all women to whom ,i applied for counsel said it was my duty to submit1 that husbands expected it1 had a right to it1 and must have this indulgence whenever they were excited1 or suffer1 and that in this way alone could wives retain the love of their husbands4 ,i had no alternative but silent1 suffering submission to his passion1 and then procure abortion or leave him1 and thus resign my children to the tender mercies of one with whom it seemed ,i could not live myself4 ,abortion was most repulsive to every feeling of my nature1 and at times rendered me an object of loathing to myself4 ,when my first-born was three months old ,i had a desperate struggle for personal liberty4 ,my husband insisted on his right to subject my person to his passion before my babe was two months old4 ,i saw his conduct then in all its degrading and loathing injustice4 ,i pleaded with tears and anguish1 for my own and my child's sake1 to be spared2 and had it not been for my helpless child1 ,i should have ended the struggle by bolting my legal bonds4 ,for its sake ,i submitted to that outrage and my own conscious degradation4 ,for its sake ,i concluded to take my chance in the world with other wives and mothers who1 as they assured me1 and as ,i then knew1 were all around me1 subjected to like outrages1 and driven to the degrading practice of abortion4 ,but even then ,i saw and argued the justice of my personal rights in regard to maternity and the relation that leads to it1 as strongly as you do now4 ,i saw it all as clearly as you do4 ,i was then1 amid all the degrading influences that crushed me1 true and just to my womanly intuitions4 ,i insisted on my right to say when and under what circumstances ,i would accept of him the office of maternity and become the mother of his child4 ,i insisted that it was for me to say when and how often ,i should subject myself to the liability of becoming a mother4 ,but he became angry with me1 claimed ownership over me1 insisted that ,i1 as a wife1 was to submit to my husband 'in all things1' threatened to leave me and my children1 and declared ,i was not fit to be a wife4 ,fearing some fatal consequences to my child or to myself--being alone1 destitute and far from helpful friends1 in the far ,west1 and fearing that my little one would be left to want--,i stifled all expression of my honest convictions1 and ever after kept my aversion and painful struggles in my own bosom4 ,in every respect1 as far as passional relations between myself and my husband are concerned1 ,i have ever felt myself to be a miserable and abject woman4 ,i now see and feel it most deeply and painfully4 ,if ,i was with a child in my arms1 ,i was in constant dread of all personal contact with my husband lest ,i should have a new maternity thrust upon me1 and be obliged to wean one child before its time to give place to another4 ,in my misery ,i have often cried out1 ',o1 ,god6 is there no way out of this loathsome bondage8' ,it was not want of kindly feelings toward my husband that induced this state of mind1 for ,i could and did endure every privation and want without an unkindly feeling or word1 and even cheerfully for his sake4 ,but every feeling of my soul did then1 does now and ever must protest against the cruel and loathsome injustice of husbands toward their wives1 manifested in imposing on them a maternity uncalled for by their own nature and most repulsive to it1 and whose sufferings and responsibilities they are unprepared and unwilling to meet4 ,while we would not for a moment sanction the crime which this mother perpetrated1 yet we are not prepared to say that she was the sole author of the crime4 ,every thoughtful man must admit that her husband was unreasonable1 unwilling to govern his passion1 cruel and unjust to his wife1 and in his beastliness measurably drove her to the commission of the awful crime of which she was guilty4 ,the proper relation of husband and wife to the question of parenthood can never be properly and satisfactorily adjusted so long as either of these parties occupy extreme positions upon this question4 ,it is absolutely wrong for the wife to take the position that she is to be wholly delivered from maternity and the care of children1 and it is equally wrong for the husband to assume that the wife is created for no other purpose than to bear children in as rapid succession as nature renders conception possible4 ,upon the one hand it is the duty of the wife to arrange her thought and life with reference to maternity and the bearing of such a number of children as can be brought into the world in the highest state of physical1 intellectual and moral equipment4 ,upon the other hand1 the husband is to regard himself under obligation to practice such personal self-control and to bear such disadvantages as are incident to the greatest fidelity of the wife in her duties while the body and character of her child are being formed within her1 and while it is being nursed1 nurtured and cared for after its birth4 ,it is the grossest of insults not only to woman1 but to her ,maker1 to assert that woman was created solely for reproduction4 ,it is proper for a man in the discharge of certain duties and in the attainment of certain laudable ends to decline to marry and resolve to maintain a pure and celibate life throughout his entire existence2 and it is equally right1 and even commendable1 for a woman with similar purposes and aims to decline marriage in order that she may devote herself with greater efficiency and success to some effort to elevate and bless mankind1 if those ends could not be successfully accomplished in connection with the proper discharge of her duties as wife and mother4 ,but when men and women do marry1 they greatly mistake the object of this divine institution if they suppose that it was instituted solely for the purpose of producing the largest possible number of children--if they make quantity rather than quality the great purpose4 ,marriage was instituted for the highest good of the parents2 it was instituted for the attainment of their best health and the largest intellectual and moral equipment4 ,their lives are to be shaped for the acquisition of the largest and best attainments4 ,unless they attain the best physical1 intellectual and moral developments they cannot transmit these valuable qualities to their children4 ,the children cannot inherit from the parents what the parents do not possess4 ,parents should seek to raise up1 not the largest possible number1 without regard to whether they are good1 bad or indifferent2 but there is no objection to their raising up the largest number consistent with the best possible equipment4 ,one man is worth an innumerable number of monkeys1 and we should seek to raise up not an innumerable horde of inferior beings1 but only so large a number as is consistent with a sincere purpose not to evade the responsibilities and duties of parenthood1 and with an earnest effort to raise up a race of superior men and women4 ,there should be no consenting to deterioration1 but a sincere desire and effort for the raising up of a new generation that shall be an advance upon all the generations that have preceded4 ,by what we have said it will be manifest that there is a culpable and criminal limitation of offspring2 and there is also a reasonable and right regulation of the marital relation and a limiting of offspring--a designed and deliberate purpose to be self-contained with a view to intelligent1 purposed parenthood4 ,there are times when it is positively wrong to beget and bring forth children4 ,this is the case when there is such physical debility upon either the part of the husband or the wife as would render them incapable of transmitting or bearing healthy children2 when1 overburdened or broken down by excessive childbearing1 nothing but puny1 sickly1 short-lived offspring could reasonably be expected2 when the children are coming so rapidly that they interfere with each others' nutrition and imperil the mother's health1 or when the mother is naturally so constituted that childbearing imperils her life4 ,these1 and other equally weighty reasons1 are a sufficient justification for a careful study of duty and obligation in the matter of self-government1 and the limitation1 or even restriction1 of childbearing by right and proper methods4 ,it is important1 however1 to say that married persons should never decide against childbearing1 or even in favor of a very restricted parenthood1 without the gravest considerations2 nor is their own thought in the matter always sufficient to arrive at a wise and righteous conclusion4 ,their own judgment should always be supplemented by the counsel and advice of a well-qualified and thoroughly conscientious ,christian physician4 ,where difficulties do exist1 a conscientious consideration of them may often enable the parties to remove every barrier and secure the most blessed and gratifying results4 ,what we have intimated is aptly illustrated in the following instance given by ,dr4 ,pomeroy in ,the ,ethics of ,marriage3 ,a 'love match' resulted in the union of two persons who were of nervous temperament and poor physique1 many 'incompatibilities1' and small means4 ,beside this1 the wife was suffering from a difficulty which made maternity undesirable and well-nigh impossible4 ,under the circumstances1 they questioned whether indefinite postponement of parenthood were not proper1 and1 in fact1 clearly indicated4 ,they considered the matter carefully1 took the benefit of medical advice1 and finally decided that their only honorable and safe course would be that they should have a family of healthy children as its objective point4 ,the wife was placed under medical treatment1 and in the course of a few months was in physical condition safely to undertake maternity4 ,recognizing their limitations and disadvantages from the outset1 the pair determined to make every possible effort to give their children as good a birth as might be1 under the circumstances4 ,each tried to cultivate health and strength of mind and body2 the laws of heredity were studied2 conscientious care was taken that the mother might have bright and cheery objects about her and loving thoughts in her mind during the period when each child gained all its influence from the outside world through her4 ,each child was also1 during this period1 a subject of prayer1 that the ,holy ,spirit might enter into its developing life and cause it to be so generated that the afterwork of regeneration might1 if possible1 follow as the day follows the dawn4 ,it would be too much to say that this course would in every case be followed by results as marked as were those of this instance2 but in this family the children have proved to be1 if not all that could be desired1 at least much better than would have been expected in the ordinary course of events4 ,they were symmetrical1 sound in body1 equable in temperament1 and affectionate towards the parents and each other4 ,they have never been more than half the trouble and care that children ordinarily are1 although possessed of high spirit and a keen sense of justice4 ,what may develop as they arrive at maturity no one can tell1 but it is certain that they now bear the impress of prenatal love and care1 and a good birth4 ,this cost the parents some effort and self-denial1 but they have been repaid fourfold in the ease with which the nursery has been managed2 moreover1 little differences of taste and opinion were laid on the altar of sacrifice to the interests of the children who should be born to them1 and each1 as it joined in the family circle1 brought new degrees of harmony and joy4 ,i have repeatedly heard the father of that family declare that he had no reason to believe himself a dollar poorer than he would have been if no children had come to claim his care4 ,just what might have been in that case it is impossible to tell1 but it is certain that many a childless marriage which began under apparently happier auspices than this one ended in misery and divorce4 ,but the question arises1 where it is found necessary to limit the number of offspring1 ,how shall it be properly done8 ,there are those who seem to think that medical science has some way by which to grant unrestricted sexual indulgence and yet avoid the results which nature intended4 ,dr4 ,pomeroy says3 ,it is surprising to what an extent the laity believe that medical science knows how to control the birthrate4 ,just here let me say that ,i know of but one prescription which is both safe and sure1 namely1 that the sexes shall remain apart4 ,so thoroughly do ,i believe this to be a secret which nature has kept to herself1 that ,i should be inclined to question the ability or the honesty of any one professing to understand it so as to be able safely and surely to regulate the matter of reproduction for those living in wedlock4 ,because of the moral issues1 physical consequences and terrible results which cluster about this question--one of the most delicate with which we have to deal--we have made a most careful examination of this entire subject4 ,we have read a great deal more than has been pleasant to our contemplation1 but we have been compelled to return1 after each new investigation1 to the conclusion which is held by all reputable physicians that the only safe and sure way is for husband and wife to remain strictly apart4 ,there are methods which are sometimes suggested1 by even well-meaning physicians1 to those who desire to escape the results of the marital relation1 but when pressed for the expression of a candid and honest conviction these same physicians are always compelled to admit that for absolute safety there is but one provision4 ,these various methods are not only unsatisfactory and unavailing1 but are ruinous in their effects upon the individuals who practice them4 ,in some instances nature does not visit her penalties immediately1 but eventually the old declaration proves true that although justice travels with a sore foot it is sure to overtake the transgressor4 ,where married people are willing to live according to the laws which are written deep in our nature1 they find what ,dr4 ,kellogg has said is true3 ,there would be less sexual enjoyment1 but more elevated joy4 ,there would be less animal love1 but more spiritual communion2 less gross1 more pure2 less development of the animal and more fruitful soil for the cultivation of virtue1 holiness and all the ,christian graces4 ,an entire renunciation of all conjugal privileges is1 however1 only perfectly just and proper when it meets with the mutual consent of both husband and wife4 ,concerning such a rigid course1 ,dr4 ,napheys1 in ,transmission of ,life1 says3 ,the objection nowadays urged against it is that it is too severe a prescription1 and consequently valueless4 ,this ought not to be4 ,a man who loves his wife should1 in order to save that life overwork and misery1 and danger of death and wretchedly constituted children1 be able and willing to undergo as much self-denial as everyone of his contingent bachelor acquaintances does1 not out of high devotion1 but for motives of economy1 or indifference1 or love of liberty4 ,the man who cannot do this1 or does not care to do it1 does not certainly deserve a very high position4 ,but while all this is granted1 the question is still constantly put3 ,is this all8 ,is there no means by which we can limit our families without either injuring the health or undergoing a self-martyrdom which not one man in a thousand will submit to8 ,in meeting the perplexities of this situation1 ,dr4 ,pomeroy1 in ,ethics of ,marriage1 says3 ,there are circumstances under which means for the temporary avoidance of conception may be desirable and proper1 as1 for instance1 to prevent too rapid childbearing on the part of women who cannot nurse their infants1 or who have their usual periods while nursing--conditions which1 ,i believe1 our artificial life are responsible for--and so are liable to too frequent conception4 ,for such and other legitimate causes nature has herself provided a means which1 with the practice of a little self-denial1 will give a reasonable degree of safety2 beyond this it is neither safe nor proper to act without the advice of some physician who has sound judgment1 both in medicine and in morals4 ,there is a ,scriptural provision which is doubtless designed to meet this very condition1 and which may be properly mentioned here because authorized by the ,inspired ,word4 ,the law concerning this matter will be found in the fifteenth chapter of ,leviticus1 beginning with the nineteenth verse4 ,in this passage a period of strict separation is prescribed for the woman during the period of her monthly issue1 and the injunction is1 that when she is cleansed from her issue then she shall number to herself seven days1 and after that she shall be clean4 ,on the eighth day she was to appear before the priest with her offerings1 when she was to be declared clean4 ,in this ,old ,testament provision ,god manifestly intended to make the children of ,israel intelligent1 not for the purpose of enabling them to avoid any reasonable and right increase in their families1 but measurably to limit the number of offspring1 so that the very best type of human life might be the fruitage of their homes4 ,when literally followed1 it would doubtless in a large majority of cases afford all necessary relief1 and properly limit the number of offspring4 ,this passage also clearly indicates the importance of separation during the periodic sickness2 and the basis for this ,old ,testament teaching of separation during such times is based not only upon the sense of delicacy and propriety upon the part of the wife1 but also upon the physiological and sanitary principles of medical science4 ,it is neither necessary nor proper for us to go into a further discussion of this subject at this place4 ,those who find themselves laboring under the burdens1 infirmities and unfitness we have indicated1 should be free to seek such medical counsel and advice as will afford them what relief may be available in their particular case4 ,we would warn all1 however1 that those who take active measures to prevent conception are apt to carry the matter further than they intended2 at the best they are tampering with ,nature1 and that is a dangerous thing in itself4 ,in seeking medical counsel1 let us carefully advise all to exercise the utmost caution in selecting a competent1 conscientious1 ,christian physician4 ,if1 however1 you expect that your interview will bring you such information as will enable you to indulge your passion unrestrained and avoid all consequences1 allow us to say1 before such an interview takes place1 that you are expecting information which medical science does not possess4 ,dr4 ,pomeroy1 in writing upon this subject1 says3 ,as before noticed1 it is surprising to what extent the laity believe that the course of ,nature can be safely interfered with1 even by those who understand her laws the least4 ,those who fear to turn back the hands of a watch lest they injure the complicated and delicate machinery do not hesitate to use violent means to interfere with the natural workings of the human mechanism1 which is a thousandfold more complicated and delicate4 ,nature is tenacious of her rights2 she resists grandly1 but if forced to yield1 she visits the offender with punishment which is no less sure because it is sometimes long-delayed4 ,few seem to know this2 many act as though they considered ,nature a sort of clever idiot1 too stupid to recognize an injury or too amiable to resent it if discovered2 while others seem to look upon ,nature as rather intelligent and able1 but a servant amenable to guidance and assistance in co-ordinating the forces of her laboratory4 ,this is absurd1 and even impious1 for ,nature is but another term for the ,creator of all things1 and ,he is infinitely wise4 ,nature cares more about correcting us than our mistakes and follies4 ,were she to go on indefinitely and patiently undoing our work we should go on indefinitely and persistently doing it1 and our wrongdoing would be righted1 but we should remain in the mental or moral or physical sin which had prompted it4 ,indeed1 if the obvious results of our sin were promptly removed we should scarcely be aware that we were not in harmony with ,nature's plans1 and the race would deteriorate1 and finally become extinct4 ,where you do not obtain from a reputable1 intelligent ,christian physician the information you desire1 or the relief you seek1 do not make the fatal mistake of resorting to some quack or impostor who advertises only to beguile1 deceive and rob you1 and subsequently to leave you humiliated1 with purse depleted and health ruined4 ,reputable physicians do not advertise1 and the very fact that a man advertises may be accepted as sufficient evidence that he is not an accredited and reliable physician1 and that you will most assuredly be subjected to deception and imposture4 ,persons who recognize the propriety of limiting the number of offspring are seriously exposed to the danger of deferring and procrastinating to such an extent as to err greatly in the direction of too few rather than too many children4 ,with most women the time for childbearing is quite like the time and location of a boil--any other time than the present1 and any other place than where it is4 ,a purposed parenthood is in danger of becoming a purpose to evade parenthood4 ,there is1 however1 a proper and all-important preparation for parenthood4 ,after a careful examination of the subject no person can help but be deeply impressed with the fact that if the parents of this generation would realize their wonderful power to mold and fashion the succeeding generation1 the children of the next decade would rise to the level of an entirely new plane4 ,some people seem to think that the matter of begetting a child1 like the matter of selecting a wife or a husband1 should be left wholly to blind chance4 ,neither of these two important events can be too much safeguarded by wise and thoughtful consideration4 ,if conception is permitted to take place when either one or both of the parents are in ill health2 if the wife is an unwilling mother1 and the embryo is developed by her while her entire nature rebels against the admission into the family of a child who is not wanted1 the children begotten and born under such circumstances can never be other than sickly1 nervous and fretful during their entire childhood1 and cross and uncompanionable throughout their entire lives4 ,in connection with childbearing there are three very important things3 ,first1 the preparation for parenthood2 second1 the mental state at the period of conjunction1 and third1 the mental state and physical condition of the mother during the months while the body and character of the child are being fashioned within her body4 ,the period and the character of the preparation for parenthood must always vary according to the physical condition of the intending parents4 ,in some instances this preparation needs to extend over weeks1 and in other instances even over years4 ,no man or woman should consent to become a parent except at such times when physically and intellectually they are at their very best--indeed1 the very best that is possible for them to attain by a course of careful preparation4 ,much of what might be said here will be learned under a subsequent chapter upon prenatal influences4 ,medical authorities universally attach great importance to the mental condition at the moment of conjunction and conception4 ,it is quite universally believed that this is a moment of unparalleled importance to the welfare of the future being4 ,dr4 ,hufeland1 an eminent ,german writer1 says3 ,in my opinion1 it is of the utmost importance that this moment should be confined to a period when the sensation of collected powers1 ardent passion1 and a mind cheerful and free from care1 invite to it on both sides4 ,it is an awful crime to beget life carelessly1 and when in improper and unworthy physical and mental states4 ,the ancients understood the importance of this moment1 and frequently surrounded the nuptial couch with statues which should charm the mother by their beautiful outlines and physical proportions4 ,it was claimed by them that a man who was himself deformed might in this manner become the father of children that were possessed of fine physical proportions4 ,while this statement might carry with it too much presumption1 yet it was not without a considerable element of truth4 ,nearly eighteen centuries before ,christ1 the patriarch ,jacob recognized this principle when he arranged with ,laban to accept from among the flocks and herds the speckled and the spotted as the reward of his labor in attending the flocks of the herds of his father-in-law4 ,there was nothing unnatural or miraculous in the result which ,jacob secured4 ,he sought to produce such mental impressions upon the minds of the flock at the time of conception as would secure the production of young marked after the manner most in accord with his personal interests4 ,we are told that ,jacob took him rods of green poplar1 and of the hazel and chestnut-tree1 and pilled white streaks in them and made the white appear which was in the rods4 ,and he set the rods which he had pilled before the flocks in the gutters in the watering-troughs1 when the flocks came to drink1 that they should conceive when they came to drink4 ,and the flocks conceived before the rods1 and brought forth cattle ring-streaked1 speckled and spotted4 ,and ,jacob did separate the lambs1 and set the faces of the flocks toward the ring-streaked1 and all the brown in the flock of ,laban3 and he put his own flocks by themselves1 and put them not unto ,laban's cattle4 ,and it came to pass1 whensoever the stronger cattle did conceive1 that ,jacob laid the rods before the eyes of the cattle in the gutters1 that they might conceive among the rods4 ,but when the cattle were feeble he put them not in3 so the feebler were ,laban's1 and the stronger ,jacob's4 ,and the man increased exceedingly1 and had much cattle1 and maid-servants and men-servants1 and camels and asses4 ,much of the differences which exist between children of the same parents may be easily attributed to the different bodily and mental conditions of the parents at the period of conjunction1 the changed physical1 intellectual and emotional states of the parents at the different periods of conception producing the corresponding differences in their offspring4 ,the results of purposed and prepared parenthood are so great and so desirable that a husband and wife should consider these matters carefully1 make due preparations1 and approach the period when they would beget offspring and bring immortal beings into the world with the greatest thoughtfulness1 consideration1 and also with prayer4 ,the writer well remembers the deep impression made upon his mind in an interview with a physician who was the first to present this phase of the subject to our consideration4 ,the statement was so unusual that it made a lasting impression upon us4 ,but why may it not be so8 ,after a period of preparation why should not the intending parents unite at the throne of grace for ,god's blessing upon them in the act in which they are about to engage1 and in the fulfillment of their desire for an heir who shall be possessed of the very best physical1 intellectual and moral endowments8 ,there are certain signs of fruitful conjunction which are often recognized by women who are already mothers1 but which may serve as no guide to a young wife who has never had any experience4 ,with some women the act of conception is attended with great emotion1 a sense of unusual pleasure1 and even of a tremor1 in which all parts of the body may participate4 ,sometimes it is followed by a sense of weakness4 ,in ancient times the swelling of the neck was regarded as a sign of conception1 and some modern authorities incline to the same theory4 ,there are instances also in which the morning sickness begins immediately after conception4 ,it would be unsafe1 however1 to rely upon either the presence or absence of these indications4 ,in most instances the cessation of the menses and the appearance of the morning sickness are the first reliable indications that conception has taken place4 ,,chapter ,,xiii4 ,,the ,,expectant ,,mother4 ,a husband1 whether young or old1 should treat his wife with great consideration at all times1 but if at any time she deserves more thoughtful consideration and more tender ministry than at any other1 it is during the period of her pregnancy4 ,the young husband should remember that oftentimes the mother-nature of the young wife is not yet aroused1 but is measurably dormant4 ,god has intended that wifehood should precede motherhood4 ,where the longing for children is present1 the young wife intelligent1 and where she has been physically fitted for the office of motherhood upon which she has now entered1 her equipment is exceptional1 her mind complacent1 and she may reasonably be expected to go forward in a spirit which will secure for her in the coming months the largest blessing and reward4 ,but with most young wives it is not so4 ,the knowledge which would have been most important for them has been withheld by silent mothers4 ,they may have received a liberal education1 but in the study of physiology1 the special parts1 concerning which she needed most to know1 have been excluded from the text-books1 and she knows no more concerning her own special physiology than she does about the physiology of the male4 ,books which would have rendered her intelligent have been studiously kept out of her sight1 and perhaps during her girlhood she has been encouraged in compressing her waist1 displacing the vital organs which ,god has placed in the abdomen1 and through a period of years gone on1 ignorantly or wilfully1 unfitting herself for the main duties of maternity4 ,perhaps she has entered upon marriage1 as so many do1 with an undefined dread of some impending evil attending conception and childbearing1 which she has desired and hoped to escape in some inscrutable manner4 ,the discovery of the fact that she is to become a mother fills her mind with dread and alarm4 ,in her ignorance she gropes her way in darkness1 not knowing whither to turn and with no one to guide her to the light4 ,she naturally turns to married women and to mothers1 and instead of receiving encouragement and the proper kind of sympathy1 they most likely exclaim3 ,i am sorry for you6 ,now your trouble begins4 ,if ,i were in your place ,i should feel like jumping into the river4 ,in nine cases out of ten1 with the darkness intensified and her mind more alarmed than ever1 apprehension turns to fear1 and fear into alarm and dread4 ,the young husband should remember that this is about the usual experience of most young wives1 and intelligently arrange to correct the evil4 ,if you are acquainted with some intelligent1 sympathetic and judicious woman1 who will know how to take your young wife into her arms1 allay her fears1 comfort and instruct her1 you will be most fortunate4 ,she should be able to point out to the troubled wife the fact that intelligence and care will greatly mitigate1 and indeed enable her largely to avoid all physical suffering2 to explain to her how1 as the months go by1 the mother-love will spring up in her heart as the time approaches for the happiest hour in her life1 when for the first time her own infant child shall lie in her arms or by her side2 to picture the joy of her husband and the gladness which will come into the hearts of all who know her and who will come to rejoice over her newborn child2 to picture what her home will be as contrasted with those who1 dejected and lonely1 sit in desolate homes where no little prattler breaks the stillness of the hours and no footfalls are heard in the hallway4 ,this judicious friend will need to know how to impress upon her that her mental condition during the period which precedes the advent of the little stranger will mold and fashion its character1 and how1 if she desires a loving child1 she must herself love the child before it is born2 if she desires in her child a quiet and happy disposition she must herself determine that result by her own even temper1 and be warned that her worry and repining will render her child nervous and fretful2 if she desires her child to be cheery and bright and happy she should enact in her own thought and life what she desires her child to be2 that now for a brief period she is molding not simply its physical frame1 but its character and disposition1 and giving bent and expression to the entire future of the human life that is being formed within her4 ,it will not do1 when the husband finds his wife despondent1 that he should be annoyed by expressions which are quite natural to one in her condition4 ,no young husband can enter sufficiently into the sufferings and feelings of his wife in these earliest days and weeks of apprehension and dread4 ,she needs to be comforted with words of greatest tenderness4 ,your heart should go out toward her in sincere sympathy4 ,put away from your heart such feelings as1 ,foolish girl6 ,what did she get married for8 ,did she not know that she was expected to bear children1 like other women8 ,she is not suffering more than other women have suffered4 ,all this is only in the course of nature4 ,what use is there of making a fuss8 ,she should submit to it in the proper spirit4 ,if you harbor such thoughts1 whether properly or improperly1 they will nevertheless unfit you for that degree of sympathy which you should feel and not feign4 ,the months of pregnancy with most women are months of discomfort4 ,some women are in better health1 more cheery and hopeful during the period of gestation than at any other period in their lives4 ,but this is not generally the case2 rather the reverse4 ,during gestation some women are a terror to their husbands1 and render themselves miserable1 and all about them uncomfortable and unhappy4 ,during this period the wife ceases to be physically attractive1 and for her own protection and the protection of the embryo1 nature makes the wife sexually repellant4 ,soon the morning sickness is likely to begin1 and when she rises in the morning she will likely feel sick and nauseated1 and vomiting will frequently ensue4 ,relief cannot always be afforded1 and this condition may continue for weeks1 or even for months4 ,the young wife soon becomes the target for all kinds of injudicious advice4 ,she is told to eat heartily of strong food1 to keep up her strength1 and to furnish nourishment for two4 ,her natural modes of life are oftentimes unnecessarily restricted1 and after a period1 with a sense of false modesty1 she often shuts herself out from fresh air and exercise1 and becomes a prisoner in her own home1 or possibly in her own room4 ,while the pains and perils of maternity can be greatly mitigated1 yet the young husband should be moved to tenderest consideration because of the discomforts which the wife suffers2 the apprehensions with which she looks forward to the hour of her delivery1 the responsibilities of caring for and rearing a child for usefulness in this world and happiness in the next2 the apprehensions which she may have1 not only in regard to her own life1 but in bringing into the world a creature who shall be dependent for many years upon her and her husband2 and in the days of her nervous anxiety she is likely to think of the possibility of the death of her husband1 or1 of what might be even more terrible to her thought1 her sickness or disability through a period of years1 when the breadwinner himself might become dependent upon his wife and children for his own support4 ,newly-married persons should look forward to this period1 and1 before conception takes place1 make themselves the possessors of such information as would render them intelligent and qualify them to meet the conditions with the best physical and intellectual equipment4 ,when the wife has once become pregnant1 it is then too late for her properly to take up the study of this subject4 ,instead of permitting her mind to dwell upon these matters1 her attention should be turned to other considerations4 ,if she or her husband have not read upon these subjects until the event takes place1 then the husband should devote himself to the reading1 and be to his wife a wise counsellor in the experiences through which she is passing4 ,he should carefully study the book entitled ,what a ,young ,wife ,ought to ,know1 and possibly other well-chosen books4 ,where the husband has the time and the technical knowledge1 he might find it very helpful to consult the physician whose services they expect to have at the time of confinement1 and borrow from him a medical work upon the subject4 ,such books are always expensive1 and1 although written in technical terms1 may yet prove interesting and suggestive4 ,the greatest danger1 however1 in this course is1 that medical books deal not so much with the normal conditions which characterize the vast majority of confinements1 but with the abnormal and exceptional1 which are only occasionally met1 and these exceptions1 abnormal conditions and hideous monstrosities1 are likely to fill the mind with unnecessary apprehension4 ,under no circumstances should a pregnant wife be permitted to fill her mind with apprehension and alarm by reading of this character4 ,if the wife is to follow the most beneficial rules of exercise1 diet and mental condition1 she will need to be encouraged and assisted by the judicious counsel and tenderest sympathies of her husband4 ,if she is allowed to seclude herself and become inactive1 she will not only suffer the severest experiences at the time of delivery1 but her child will be likely to be indifferent to physical and intellectual activity2 while1 upon the other hand1 if her life is filled with a round of perpetual duties1 perplexities and worries which consume her time1 leave her depleted1 and allow her no time for rest1 she is likely to be the mother of a restless1 nervous and irritable child4 ,the young husband should remember that what his home is to be in the days to come will depend upon the intelligence and wisdom of himself and wife while they stand at the sources of destiny in the early period of their married life4 ,their health1 their wisdom1 their judicious direction is to determine not only their own present happiness but the character of their children1 the condition of their home1 and measurably even the destinies of generations yet unborn4 ,it is not within our province1 when writing to young husbands1 to lay down rules and to give full directions which are fitted for a book of instruction to young wives and expectant mothers4 ,but as something might be properly expected upon this phase of the subject1 we append from ,trained ,motherhood a suggestive article on ,diet and ,hygiene for ,expectant ,mothers1 by a writer who signs herself ,k4 ,l43 ,from the very moment of consciousness of the conception of a new life every effort should be made for the welfare of both mother and child4 ,with the majority of women pregnancy is a condition to be dreaded1 since it brings with it so much care1 pain and all sorts of trials1 ending with intense suffering4 ,the greater part of these troubles are caused by the violation of the laws of nature2 and by following a few simple rules much1 if not all1 of the suffering and worry women undergo may be avoided4 ,having received many requests for advice1 the writer gives1 for the benefit of sister women1 as the result of personal experience and experiments1 the directions and hints that follow3 ,one of the chief causes of trouble is improper diet4 ,another is improper dress4 ,a third1 lack of exercise4 ,but to deal with one at a time1 we will place diet first4 ,it is necessary that a pregnant woman should have food that is nourishing but not heating for the blood4 ,it should be eaten at regular hours and in moderate quantities4 ,very few people can successfully eat and drink at one time1 so it will be much better to drink some time before or after meals4 ,it is desired to avoid development of bone and muscle1 as it is this growth that renders the labor so hard4 ,by choosing food that lacks these qualities much trouble may be avoided4 ,all the vegetables and all the fruits are beneficial1 but all animal food is injurious1 in my opinion4 ,all rich food1 such as pastry1 cakes1 confectioneries1 gravies and fat meats should be avoided4 ,tea and coffee are nerve and brain stimulants1 therefore injurious to both mother and child4 ,wines or liquors of any sort are very much to be condemned4 ,all cereals may be used freely1 though the oat products are not to be so well recommended as the wheaten grains1 since oats are more heating4 ,eat very freely of all fruits1 particularly the acid sort4 ,oranges and lemons stand first1 then apples1 peaches and plums4 ,bananas are very good1 especially when eaten in the morning before taking other food4 ,be sure and not eat too much of anything4 ,it is better to feel a little hungry than to eat an ounce too much4 ,those who desire a warm drink may find some cereal coffee palatable and beneficial4 ,whole wheat or brown breads are more desirable than white breads1 as they contain less starch properties4 ,the 'morning sickness' may be done away with by eating several plain crackers--soda or graham--before rising4 ,eat them while lying down1 and lie still for five minutes4 ,then get up slowly and gently4 ,the juice of a lemon or a banana will often do the same towards removing this weakening annoyance4 ,generally if fruit is eaten just before going to bed1 no nausea is felt in the morning4 ,as to dress3 ,no garment should be worn that throws any weight or pressure anywhere4 ,hang all from the shoulders4 ,a corded waist with shoulder-straps1 and buttons for the skirts1 will be comfortable4 ,by all means have everything as light in weight as possible4 ,dress warmly1 but let nothing be tight or heavy4 ,wear low-heeled1 broad-soled shoes1 so as to keep the legs and feet from swelling under the strain of the extra weight they must carry4 ,plenty of judicious exercise is necessary4 ,housework and light gardening are unequaled1 though the heavier work1 such as washing1 scrubbing or lifting1 reaching up1 pulling1 or any kind of strain1 is dangerous4 ,climbing stairs and hills is one of the best exercises4 ,breathe deeply and fully1 filling the lungs all the way down4 ,the majority of women only breathe with the upper part of their lungs1 and have no chest expansion4 ,a healthy woman ought to be able to increase her chest measure at least two inches by a full inhalation4 ,deep breathing not only gives the mother more strength1 but it gives the unborn child a gentle exercise by means of the motion of the mother's body at each breath1 and renders its whole system purer and stronger4 ,keep the mouth closed1 and this forces deep breathing4 ,climb hills and stairs with mouth shut1 head well up1 shoulders back1 and breathe as fully as possible while climbing4 ,exercise freely1 but do not overdo it4 ,any fatigue drains from the fetus its vitality and development1 which is its birthright1 and which is the duty of every woman to give her child4 ,a tepid sitz bath1 taken for fifteen minutes just before going to bed1 will induce sound1 refreshing sleep1 and at the same time keep the parts pliable and soften the muscles4 ,dry thoroughly and cover warmly1 to avoid risk of chill4 ,frequent bathing in cold water will keep the circulation good1 and should always be followed by gentle rubbing with a rough towel4 ,massage with olive oil will remove any tendency to a tension of the skin as it is distended4 ,a strong solution of alum applied to the nipples each night1 and allowed to dry on1 will harden the skin and prevent soreness from nursing4 ,maintain as erect a position at all work as possible1 as stooping brings pressure where it will do the most harm4 ,it is best to wait until the third day at least after the child is born before changing the diet1 and then the mother should eat freely of all that she has avoided during pregnancy1 in order to give her milk the qualities the child now needs4 ,as it is the duty of all parents to give to their children the very best of themselves1 the only way to do this is to give them the care before their birth that they intend giving them after birth4 ,in evidence of the benefits of this diet1 compare these two experiences of the same mother3 ,mixed diet1 rich foods of all kinds1 poor hygiene1 incorrect exercise4 ,result1 ten-pound child2 fifteen hours labor1 very severe2 mother sat up for the first time on tenth day4 ,fruit diet1 all the preceding rules followed4 ,result1 seven and one-half-pound child2 labor one hour1 not at all severe2 mother sat up eight hours after2 up and dressed on the sixth day4 ,perfect health after1 for both mother and child4 ,we can heartily endorse the directions of the writer in every particular1 but think it important to suggest that some of the greatest mistakes made after confinement are by impatience to have the mother enjoy the privilege of sitting up1 going to the table for her meals1 and returning to the ordinary duties of daily life4 ,we have elsewhere indicated the changes which take place at this period1 and which call for an entire revolution in the physical condition of the mother4 ,this cannot be accomplished in a few days1 or even in a couple of weeks4 ,in most instances it is safe for the young mother to expect to remain at least six weeks in her room before thinking of being a guest at the family table4 ,a mistake at this time may eventuate in permanent results which will render the mother an invalid for all the rest of her life4 ,but there is another side to this question which cannot be passed over at this point without great injustice to the sacredness and importance of the subject4 ,the self-denials and trials during the period of gestation do not all fall to the lot of the wife4 ,with her the sexual sense has been satisfied and has become quiescent1 while in the husband it continues active1 and sometimes even seems imperious4 ,if he is to treat his wife with proper consideration he should allow nothing to stimulate or excite his sexual passion1 but should be able to hold himself in the best physical poise and under the wisest sexual self-control4 ,any one who has observed the life of birds and animals1 and indeed of all animate life1 cannot have been blind to the fact that after impregnation the female never receives the male1 and the male1 neither of beast or bird or reptile1 never forces himself upon the female2 while the young life is being developed in the body of the female the sexes remain absolutely apart4 ,if we are to learn anything from universal nature in this particular1 we would seem to be taught that the same should be true with husband and wife4 ,it is a notable fact that among the heathen in polygamous countries the husband always remains apart from a wife in whom life has already been begun4 ,strange to say1 in civilized and ,christian countries medical writers and intelligent people are not always in accord4 ,that the reader may understand something of the positions which are taken1 we quote from a few well-known writers3 ,in his book entitled ,the ,physical ,life of ,woman1 ,dr4 ,george ,h4 ,napheys says3 ,during those days when the wife1 if she were not pregnant1 would have been 'unwell1' marital intercourse should be abstained from4 ,it is then injurious to the mother and dangerous to the life of the child1 as it is liable to excite miscarriage4 ,but if this habitual epoch of the monthly sickness be avoided1 there is no reason why passion should not be gratified in moderation and with caution during the whole period of pregnancy4 ,there is one exception to be made to this general course of conduct4 ,in those cases in which a miscarriage has occurred in the first pregnancy1 every precaution should be employed to prevent its happening again after a second conception4 ,under such exceptional circumstances1 therefore1 the husband and wife should sleep apart during the first five months of pregnancy4 ,after that period their ordinary relations may be resumed4 ,when a miscarriage has taken place1 intercourse should not be permitted within a month of the accident4 ,the observance of this direction is of the utmost importance4 ,its neglect is the frequent cause of severe and intractable diseases of the womb4 ,another1 when speaking of the effects of coition during this period1 says3 ,the organ of amativeness is frequently too largely developed in the embryonic offspring by the excessive indulgence of parents in sexual pleasures during the period of gestation4 ,after the birth of the child1 he is usually fed on meat1 tea and coffee1 and other stimulating food and drink1 fit only for persons of adult age1 by which sexual precocity is produced4 ,dr4 ,john ,cowan1 in ,the ,science of a ,new ,life1 says1 with emphasis3 ,i will again repeat that during this full period of gestative influence1 as well as during the period of nursing1 sexual congress should not be had between husband and wife4 ,this is the law of ,nature1 the law of ,god1 and outside of ,christendom it is never violated4 ,animals will not permit it--savages will not permit it1 and over three-quarters of the world it is looked upon as infamous by our own species4 ,a man acting out the licentiousness of his nature with his wife during gestation is worse than a brute--in fact1 there is no species of the animal to which he can be compared1 unless it be to the tobacco1 whiskey-soaked hanger-on to a rum-shop--whose life is an epitome of tobacco1 whiskey and licentiousness4 ,do not1 ,i pray you1 oh1 parents1 do this unclean thing4 ,do not taint your clean bodies1 do not foul your pure souls with the lustful of your natures1 while a new body is being developed1 a new soul being organized2 but by sweet words1 loving caresses1 endearing action and warm kisses cultivate within you the love element that1 in its pure exercise1 joins together two souls1 and brings in its path such a measure of peace and happiness as must be realized ere it can be appreciated4 ,writing of the physical needs of the mother during the period of gestation1 ,dr4 ,napheys says3 ,during this period the whole force of the economy at these times is taken up with providing sustenance for the new being1 and there is no nervous power left to be wasted in barren pleasures4 ,in those exceptionable cases where this does not hold1 every excitement is visited upon the child1 and it has to suffer in health and growth for the unnatural appetite of the mother4 ,dr4 ,j4 ,r4 ,black says3 ,coition during pregnancy is one of the ways in which the predisposition is made for that terrible disease in children1 epilepsy4 ,the natural excitement of the nervous system in the mother by such a cause cannot operate otherwise than inflicting injury upon the tender germ in the womb4 ,dr4 ,j4 ,h4 ,kellogg says3 ,indulgence during pregnancy is followed by the worst results of any form of marital excess4 ,the mother suffers doubly1 because laden with the burden of supporting two lives instead of one4 ,but the results upon the child are especially disastrous4 ,during the time when it is receiving its stock of vitality1 while its plastic form is being molded1 and its various organs are acquiring that integrity of structure which makes up what is called constitutional vigor--during this most critical of all periods in the life of the new being1 its forces are exhausted and its structure is depraved1 and thus constitutional tendencies to disease are produced by the unnatural demands made upon the mother4 ,the same author adds3 ,still another terrible consequence results from this practice so contrary to nature4 ,the delicate brain1 which is being molded with the other organs of the body1 receives its cast largely from those mental and nervous sensations and actions of the mother which are the most intense4 ,one of the most certain effects of sexual indulgence at this time is to develop abnormally the sexual instinct in the child4 ,here is the key to the origin of much of the sexual precocity and depravity which curse humanity4 ,sexuality is born in the soul of a large share of the rising generation4 ,in her book1 entitled ,tokology1 ,dr4 ,alice ,b4 ,stockham says3 ,if the law of continence is not the law to govern one's entire life1 it is natural and reasonable that the mother should be exempt from the sexual relation during gestation4 ,in an excellent little book1 entitled ,approaching ,maternity1 a physician of experience says3 ,a man once told me that the easiest delivery his wife had ever had took place two days sooner than expected1 and one day after he had had connection with her6 ,thank heaven1 there are not many such brutes as this6 ,what really took place was a miscarriage1 in my opinion1 superinduced by coition4 ,that it was not troublesome was a piece of good luck1 and must have been the result of the woman's excellent condition4 ,it is better that during the entire pregnancy sexual intercourse should be abstained from4 ,during coition the uterus is subjected to great disturbance2 congestion of many of the parts follows1 and the effect upon the nerves is of a harmful nature4 ,the entire vital energy of the woman is needed and should be saved for the coming event1 and the husband should practice self-control and forego selfish indulgence at this time4 ,strive rather to elevate and develop the intellectual side of the woman1 and if her mind is kept occupied upon helpful1 entertaining subjects1 a good result will show later on4 ,when we remember that in procreation ,god has endowed us with the power to continue his work of creation and realize the sacred responsibilities in calling a new life into being1 we cannot but feel that from the very hour of conception the mother is overshadowed by the ,most ,high4 ,in the fulfillment of her sacred office she should surely be delivered from all polluting intrusions1 and be permitted to live a life of spotless purity4 ,to say the very least1 there surely is something very suggestive in the statement of the first chapter of ,matthew concerning the parents of the child ,jesus4 ,when he had been begotten of the ,holy ,ghost1 ,mary was not to be deprived of the companionship1 love and sympathy of ,joseph1 and therefore when he thought to put her away privily1 he was told fear not to take unto thee ,mary thy wife1 for that which is conceived in her is of the ,holy ,ghost4 ,then ,joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the ,lord had bidden him1 and took unto him his wife1 and knew her not till she had brought forth her first-born son4 ,while it was essential that the fatherhood of the ,messiah should be above all question1 yet may it not be true that the development and bringing forth of a child which shall be most like unto this ,prince of ,peace always demands an undisturbed maternity8 ,we would not like to take an extreme position upon this subject1 but we are persuaded that what we have presented here is worthy of the thoughtful consideration of all husbands and wives who seek their own highest good and the greatest blessing and well-being of the children which are to be4 ,it is well for young husbands and wives to know that by incautiousness in their relations during this period miscarriage is often easily and actually produced1 and unsuspecting parents have oftentimes been the authors1 not only of the death of their own child1 but the consequences have entailed permanent injuries upon the young wife1 and oftentimes resulted in death itself4 ,,chapter ,,xiv4 ,,the ,,changes ,,which ,,precede1 ,,attend ,,and ,,follow ,,conception ,,and ,,childbirth4 ,from the moment of conception1 during the months of gestation1 at the time of childbirth and after1 changes of great interest take place in the germ of human life and in the body of the mother4 ,her body is marvelously fitted for the reception and development of the ovum1 the embryo and the fetus through the various stages of fertilization1 germination1 development1 maturity1 to the time of the eventual exit of the child into the outer world to begin its own independent life4 ,something of the adaptation of the body of the mother to its marvelous purpose may the better appear if we think of some of the greatest mechanical achievements of man4 ,a watch is one of the best products of human ingenuity4 ,it has taken nearly six thousand years to produce it4 ,it is a wonderful piece of mechanism1 yet it is1 after all1 not a complex product like the human body4 ,if a watch could be constructed that could oil and renew its own parts1 so as not to stop or break1 or need repairing or oiling or cleaning1 such a product would be more complex4 ,but if1 in addition to running on uninterruptedly for a long series of years1 or almost an entire century1 suppose it could be so constructed and constituted that1 without interrupting the orderly movement of its works or its accuracy and correctness1 it should1 at intervals1 produce other watches like itself4 ,truly such a watch would be a marvelous complexity4 ,yet just such a complexity is found in all the forms of vegetable and animal life about us4 ,interesting as is the study of life at any stage1 it is specially interesting and impressive during the periods which preface1 accomplish and follow the wonderful period of gestation2 and it is specially important that the individual who stands so closely related to this profound and awe-inspiring mystery as does a young husband should have such knowledge of what this condition has to teach as comes within the realm of human understanding--both because of its importance to his own happiness1 the happiness1 safety and well-being of the mother and her offspring1 and because such knowledge will tend to purify the mind of those gross and debasing thoughts which too frequently cluster about the most important and most sacred relations of married life and the endearments of home4 ,something of what these changes are which precede1 attend and follow reproduction in the human family may be beautifully seen in a conservatory or garden1 or even learned from the frail flower that blooms by the roadside4 ,when1 in the springtime or summer days1 the plant has reached its maturity1 as instinctively as if it foresaw in the coming days of autumn and in the ice and snow of winter the possibility not only of death but of total extinction1 its entire nature centres in one grand struggle to escape pending extermination and live1 if not in its own body1 yet in the life and beauty that shall be reproduced in the plants that are already begotten in the longing for the perpetuity of its own life4 ,the dual parent-nature is quickened4 ,forgetting the present1 and longing for a place and a part when the warm and quickening breath of spring shall again usher in a new day of life and beauty upon the earth the plant henceforth lives1 not for the present1 but for the future2 not for itself1 but for those that are to be4 ,the buds begin to form4 ,the plant has learned the purpose of being and throbs with the mystery of life4 ,in the thought of death it has learned to live4 ,in fear of extinction it has learned to perpetuate and multiply itself a hundredfold4 ,the flower unfolds4 ,the dual parent-nature of the plant lives with intensity in their common effort4 ,the flower is in a passion of beauty1 in an agony of splendor1 perfuming the nuptial hour with a sweetness that distills upon the air1 arresting the hurrying steps of all who pass by4 ,who shall dare to interrupt that ceremonial1 whose ruthless hand shall dare defeat that high and holy purpose8 ,the fragrance invites the bees and insects to the nuptial feast4 ,for them there is pollen and nectar in abundance4 ,they bear gifts of quickening pollen from other plants1 or swing the anther censers that waited the coming of expected guests4 ,the corolla of beauty screens the enchanted participants4 ,the ceremonial is over1 the hour is ended4 ,the ovules have felt the thrill of life1 the beauty fades1 the fragrance is gone1 the wedding-garments are laid aside1 and henceforth the father-nature and the mother-nature of the plant live not for themselves1 but for the life they have begotten1 and the plants that shall be4 ,their joy abides1 and they live in the glad hope of participation1 in the succeeding resurrection of the life and beauty and fragrance that is to await the coming of another springtime4 ,what we have written in allegory takes place in fact4 ,every intelligent observer has noted the depth of color1 passionate beauty1 and sweet fragrance of the flower as the hour approaches when the stigma awaits the pollen which is to fertilize the ovules that lie hidden away in the ovary or pod4 ,when that union has been effected the flower fades1 its petals fall off2 the calyx1 which as a vase held the corolla erect in its splendor1 but which remains to shield and protect the ovules or little seeds which are being formed and perfected1 now droops1 turning toward the earth4 ,is this a sign of sadness1 or that there is no longer any joy in life8 ,no1 no1 not at all4 ,it is the evidence of its fidelity to the sacred trust that has been committed to it4 ,it has found a new joy1 a more abiding happiness4 ,then it held up the corolla that the sun and the angels might look in upon the happy and holy beginnings of life1 while now1 in the protection of its sacred trust1 it turns down1 that it may shed the rain and everything that might intrude or hurt the tender plant that is so mysteriously encased in that pod that enlarges with the growing life that is within it4 ,what is true in the reproductive life of plants is also true in the reproductive life of man4 ,the changes that take place at the moment of conception and during the period of gestation are full of marvelous beauty and profound mystery4 ,the bright eyes1 the ruby lips1 the ruddy glow on the cheeks1 the comely attire1 the attractive manner1 the persuasive sweetness1 the subtle but indescribable attractiveness1 are manifestations in human life of what may be seen and studied with such impressiveness in the reproductive life of the flower4 ,the changes which follow may not be as immediate2 and while1 to the unknowing and unobservant1 they may not at first be totally unobserved1 yet to the devout student they are quite as manifest and pronounced as in the flowers2 and the study of these changes which attend the beginning1 the growth and the completion of reproduction is one of great interest to every intelligent person1 although its clear presentation to those who have no knowledge whatever of the subject is attended with some difficulty4 ,as the birds at the mating season put on their most gorgeous plumage1 sing their sweetest songs1 and in the building of their nests work in sweetest accord1 so it is also in human life4 ,when the nest is completed1 the eggs laid1 and the incubation or hatching begins1 the plumage soon loses some of its lustre1 the songs become less frequent1 and the parent birds prepare for the feeding and care of the bird-life that is soon to fill the nest4 ,but all this quickening of life and growth that takes place in the egg within the nest under the warm body of the mother-bird1 in the human mother takes place within the nest or cradle which ,god has prepared within her body4 ,her young is of a higher order4 ,the protection and preservation of the unfolding human life is more important1 and hence the greater care displayed in guarding and nourishing it4 ,the future mother1 whose nature only recently craved her husband's caresses and embraces1 now1 perhaps all unconsciously to herself1 changes1 to fit her for the better completion of the sacred and holy work which ,god has assigned her4 ,the eye loses somewhat of its lustre1 the cheek its ruddy glow1 and her entire being something of that pervasive sweetness which but recently made her peculiarly attractive4 ,but to the intelligent husband and true father she is none the less1 but rather the more1 an object of love and adoration2 and if she is intelligent1 and understands the high and holy nature of that which is being wrought within her own body1 and the exalted honor which ,god has bestowed upon her in making her a co-creator with himself1 she will not manifest the belligerent and uncompanionable spirit which too often characterizes the bearing of some women during this period of unfolding life4 ,while it is true that the changes which accompany this period are more marked in woman than in man1 yet when we remember that a close study of the reproductive nature of man in married life discloses a responsiveness to her condition and desires1 it will readily be understood that during the period of his wife's gestation his nature is measurably moderated by her condition1 for in health the reproductive nature of man is responsive to the promptings of his wife4 ,the poet wisely says3 ,as unto the bow the cord is1 ,so unto the man is woman4 ,though she bends him1 she obeys him2 ,though she draws him1 yet she follows-- ,useless each without the other4 ,where existing facts in any particular case are discordant with this poetic figure the causes can usually be found in an abnormal passion in the man1 or a measurable absence of sexual inclination in the woman1 frequently caused by ruinous modes of life and dress4 ,while human beings are generally very different in this respect from the lower animals1 yet something of what these changes are may be suggested by noting the changes which take place in bird life4 ,as the wave of life rises to its crest in the male nature1 every department of his being is aroused to greatest activity and perfection4 ,his plumage becomes lustrous1 he sings with sweetest note4 ,in some of the animals the intensity of his vitality bursts out in a growth of great antlers2 but when the mating season is passed the plumage fades2 the antlers drop off as the receding tide of life sets in4 ,these marked changes among the animals are by no means paralleled in man2 yet there are semblances or faint shadows of them in the modifying of the male nature4 ,while such external and manifest changes as we have indicated are taking place1 marvelous things are being wrought within the mother's body4 ,the ovum or egg 7for that is what it truly is71 after it has left the place where it matured in the ovary1 is impregnated by the spermatozo,an1 which1 in its restless search for the ovum1 presses forward from the place where it was liberated in the vagina1 up through the womb1 and out through the ,fallopian tube toward the ovary2 or the ovum may pass through the ,fallopian tube and into the womb1 to await for a brief period or a few days the coming of the sperm or spermatozo,an1 without which it must remain incomplete and perish4 ,god might just as easily have ordained that the ovum should be complete in itself1 and that1 without any intervention or co-operation1 at appointed intervals the mother should bring forth her offspring4 ,but there were reasons why this should not be4 ,the begetting and bringing forth of human life involves issues too vast to be committed to a single individual4 ,without a defender or protector during this period when the mother is rendered measurably helpless by her condition1 would imperil the safety and even the life of both parent and child4 ,two must share the risks and the responsibilities4 ,the father1 during this period and that which follows1 is to bear the burdens of life largely alone4 ,he is to provide food and shelter4 ,he is to be the guardian and the defender of his more dependent companion4 ,should exposure or peril result in the death of the mother1 the child must not be left without a natural guardian and caretaker4 ,this young life is too precious to be exposed to possible peril4 ,its care1 its nurture1 its education is too important even to be risked with a single parent4 ,the mother might forget her sucking child1 that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb1 and it was important that the child should then have another1 who is bound by natural and moral obligations1 and by bonds of personal interest and tenderest affection1 to care for it4 ,this double parentage gives the child four grandparents instead of two1 and eight great-grandparents instead of four4 ,in this wise way the child is knit to many in an obligation to nurture and care for it1 should necessity arise4 ,if physical1 mental and moral infirmity should exist in the mother1 the force of such infirmity must be reasonably broken by a new stream of influences which tend to liberate the child from any inheritance of incapacity4 ,if the father is wicked or worthless1 the child is to find its defender and caretaker in its mother2 or1 should the mother possess these bad qualities1 the child may find in its father its defense and help4 ,the life and well-being of the child is so important that it must have two chances to be well-born and well-reared4 ,but this relation of interdependence is not only for the well-being of the offspring1 but for the highest physical1 intellectual and moral development and well-being of both parents4 ,parenthood comes not only to the mother1 molding1 fashioning and perfecting her in every department of her being1 but when intelligently and reverently assumed1 when discharged with fidelity and self-denial1 it has its priceless endowments for the father as well4 ,in view of the ,creator's full and sacred purpose1 who shall dare invade1 or even lightly assume1 the far-reaching responsibilities which ,god has united to parenthood8 ,what ,god hath joined together1 let not man put asunder4 ,what intelligent man or woman shall dare trample under their feet all the sacred relations of life1 and call into being an immortal spirit whose temporal and eternal destinies are to be affected by its advent into a world that is waiting to brand it because begotten of an illicit union8 ,what husband or wife can regard with dishonor1 or dare debase1 the ,god-given powers of reproduction8 ,but to return to the subject of the changes which take place within the body of the mother during this period of wondrous interest4 ,when the spermatozoa have been liberated in the upper portion of the vagina at the cervix1 or small opening which forms what is called the neck of the womb1 although such minute microscopic objects that when laid end to end it would require five hundred of them to make an inch in length1 yet1 with that wonderful activity of which we have written in a previous chapter1 they immediately seek the doorway into the womb1 that mysterious chamber where the ovum may naturally be expected to await their coming4 ,we correctly think of persons1 and not of things1 as possessed of intelligence and acting in accordance with reason1 but this mysterious natal chamber within the mother's body appears instinct with intelligence4 ,it seems almost as though across its portals were written1 in a language which every object and every spermatozo,an might read1 the prohibition3 ,none save those who bear the gift of life may enter or tarry within these portals4 ,the ovum may remain for a period1 and the spermatozoa that seek the ovum may enter1 but neither may tarry unless each yields itself to the other in that mysterious union which results in life4 ,apart or alone1 after a brief period1 they must alike be cast out2 no idler may tarry there2 but that semblance to innate intelligence which rejects or casts out any incomplete part as a foreign substance accords a hearty welcome to the ovum that has been quickened into a new life by the entrance of a spermatozo,an4 ,no mother ever embraced her newborn child more lovingly1 or regarded it with greater tenderness1 than the womb receives the quickened ovum4 ,when the ovum is quickened1 every fibre of being thrills with a new purpose4 ,a royal place is speedily prepared for the safety1 nurture and development of the ovum4 ,the entire nature of the mother now centres upon the accomplishment of a special work--that of developing and bringing forth the new life begotten within4 ,great changes are to be wrought not only in the ovum1 but the enlarging life and new necessities are to be met by corresponding changes in the womb itself4 ,not only is the minute speck of life which is laid within this human cradle to develop into a fully-organized human being1 but the cradle is to enlarge with the growth of its occupant1 and respond to the varying needs of the unfolding and developing body within4 ,it will require the aid of a microscope to discover and observe the object of our search and study4 ,the egg of the bird bears some proportion to the size of its producer1 for in them is stored up the nourishment which is to maintain the unfolding life that can be fed in no other way until it has reached an advanced stage of maturity1 and has broken its shell and emerged into the outer world4 ,the human egg is so small that it would require two hundred and forty of them laid side by side to make one inch in length4 ,they contain the nourishment which is to foster this minute beginning of human life for a brief period1 after which it is to derive all its nourishment from the mother4 ,her food is to furnish the material for its upbuilding4 ,its blood is to flow from her heart4 ,the egg of the bird is encased in a porous covering through which pure air1 with its transforming power1 is to find its way to the developing life within2 but this human egg and the life which it is designed to unfold must owe all to its mother4 ,her lungs must impart the oxygen it needs1 and her body must minister to every function of the body of the child1 until after a period of months1 when it shall have reached that stage of development when it is prepared to enter upon its own independent life in the outer world4 ,this minute germ of human life1 this egg so small that a thousand could be laid upon a ten-cent piece1 this atom1 which under the microscope shows a speck of oil and albumin1 which in the course of a few brief months is to constitute a complex human organism1 with all the perfected parts and wonderful adjustment of a human body1 already contains the elements of a new human soul4 ,embodied in this undeveloped human germ is the future man or woman4 ,here are all the elements which are to make the successful mechanic1 the farmer1 the orator1 or the statesman4 ,ingrained in these forming tissues may be scrofula1 consumption or insanity4 ,here1 already1 are the inheritances which are to determine whether this being shall be temperate or intemperate1 chaste or licentious4 ,the moral nature has already received that bent which will incline it to reach out after ,god and heaven and holy things1 or which will incline it downward to all that is base1 destructive1 and that tends to death4 ,the history of this immortal being is already measurably outlined in the past life of the father and the mother4 ,what they have been in their thought1 in their character1 in their being1 that their child is largely to become4 ,this outline is now subjected to modifications by the thought and life of the mother during the few months while the body of her child is being unfolded1 fashioned and developed beneath and so close to her own heart4 ,during these months1 her life is to tell both upon the body and the soul of her child4 ,during the brief period while the germ within the fertilized egg is being nourished by the vitellus or yolk of the egg1 great changes are taking place in the soft and delicate linings which surround it within the womb4 ,while1 of course1 the greatest changes which take place during the period of gestation are chiefly within the ovum or egg1 yet those which take place in the body of the mother herself are more manifest1 and scarcely less marvelous4 ,the mucous membrane within the walls of this enclosure begins to thicken2 the small vessels which compose the structure of the inner surface begin to multiply1 enlarge1 and lengthen1 until they are manifest to the unaided eye4 ,this soft1 velvety lining becomes thick and rich1 but loses none of its softness and delicacy4 ,every preparation is speedily made1 and the fertilized egg finds lodgment in the thin1 delicate folds of the membrane in the upper central portion or dome of the womb4 ,the folds begin to grow about the egg1 partially enclosing it1 and shutting it off from the general cavity of the womb4 ,at last the borders of this growing envelope meet1 and form a complete and distinct enclosure4 ,this thin1 transparent tissue1 which constitutes a living envelope or sac1 shuts off the egg or growing embryo from the rest of the cavity of the womb1 which its increasing proportions are soon completely to fill4 ,the original membranous lining which covers the entire interior of the womb1 and which has now become thickened or tumefied1 as medical men say1 is technically called the decidua vera1 while that portion of the membrane which forms the sac that surrounds and encloses the egg is called the decidua reflex4 ,these are known as decidua1 which means not permanent--a word applied to those things in nature which after a period drop away1 as leaves1 teeth and horns1 which are shed or fall off4 ,so the decidua reflex is to pass away with the birth1 and the decidua vera is to change back again into its normal condition4 ,the egg1 which during this period has considerably enlarged1 begins to throw out upon all sides threadlike tissues1 by which this germ of life becomes attached to and grows into the mother-life upon which it is engrafted4 ,it is through these filaments that the fluids which are to nourish and develop this unfolding life are imparted from the mother and received by the embryo4 ,as the attachment between the sac which encloses the egg more firmly and securely adheres to the walls of the womb the filaments which had formed upon all sides of the enclosing sac begin to disappear1 except upon the side in contact with the womb4 ,upon that side they become more pronounced1 and in the third month the permanent attachment known as the placenta1 through which the embryo is to receive its increasing supply of nourishment from the body of the mother1 begins to be formed4 ,the placenta is circular in shape1 from one to two inches in thickness in its thickest part1 and about six or eight inches in diameter4 ,it forms the temporary medium of communication between the life of the mother and that of the child1 and1 properly speaking1 is not a part of either4 ,it is formed for a temporary use1 which terminates with the birth of the child2 and at that time the placenta1 the umbilical or navel cord1 and the membrane we have named1 constitute what is called the afterbirth4 ,the placenta is a flat1 soft disk which is attached to the walls of the womb connecting the embryo by the navel cord1 through which it respires or breathes1 and receives nourishment1 and discharges the worn-out particles of matter4 ,it is through this attachment or cord that an intimate connection is established between the growing life of the ovum and the currents of life which flow in the mother's body4 ,through this placentic cord the embryo receives oxygen and all the elements necessary for its growth1 upon the one hand1 while1 upon the other1 it also transfers to the body of the mother the carbonic acid gas and other impurities which in the process of life are necessary to be thrown off4 ,,chapter ,,xv4 ,,the ,,changes ,,which ,,precede1 ,,attend ,,and ,,follow ,,conception ,,and ,,childbirth4 ,continued4 ,but while these changes have been taking place within the womb itself1 and the decidua or thickened membrane has been forming about this developing germ of life1 let us consider some of the changes which have taken place within the ovum itself4 ,if observant when opening a hen's egg1 the observer will notice that the yolk is covered by a very thin membrane which encloses and separates it from the other portion of the egg1 and holds it in its rounded form4 ,the membrane is exceedingly delicate1 but sufficiently thick and strong to serve its intended purpose4 ,now1 the human ovum or egg consists of a vitellus or yolk1 which is covered by a similar membrane1 known as the vitelline4 ,when this ovum or egg has been fertilized or impregnated1 remarkable changes take place4 ,this vitellus or yolk undergoes a series of segmentation or dividings which are known as spontaneous segmentation4 ,the single minute yolk divides itself into two smaller balls or segments4 ,these again subdivide into four2 these four subdivide into eight1 the eight into sixteen1 and so on1 resulting in the rearrangement of the yolk into a finely divided granular mass4 ,while this division is in process1 the divided parts arrange themselves orderly about the inner surface of the vitelline or yolk membrane1 with the minute microscopic spaces between filled with a transparent fluid4 ,while these cells have been multiplying and become so abundant as to be flattened against the internal surface of the yolk membrane1 they have developed into true animal cells4 ,the edges of these cells1 where they come in contact with each other1 form a continuous organized membrane1 which lies just within the yolk membrane4 ,this membrane is called the blastodermic membrane4 ,this new membrane1 formed within the sac which originally enclosed the yolk of the ovum1 now divides or separates itself into two distinct layers1 known as the outer and inner blastodermic membranes1 also called epiblast and hypoblast4 ,the egg at this stage of development presents the appearance of a small round sac1 the walls of which consist of three layers1 each succeeding layer lying immediately within and in contact with the other which encloses it4 ,the outer one of the three is the primitive yolk sac1 the second is the outer layer of the blastodermic membrane1 and the third the inner layer1 while the interior cavity of the egg is filled by the transparent fluid previously mentioned4 ,in order to understand the beginnings of life it is important to have a clear conception of these different sacs1 for these two membranes lying within the yolk sac1 and together known as the blastodermic membrane1 and separately as the outer and inner layers of the blastodermic membrane1 contain the anatomical elements from which the organized being with its fully-formed body is to grow4 ,indeed1 it may be said that these two blastodermic membranes are the body of the embryo which is to develop into the fully-formed physical man4 ,the noting of this division into two separate layers is important1 for the outer one develops into the skin1 spinal cord1 muscles and bone1 while from the inner layer is formed the intestinal canal and the organs of vegetative life4 ,between these two blastodermic membranes other minute tissues are formed1 the office and end of which are not so fully understood1 and the consideration of which would lead us into intricacies beyond our present purpose4 ,the first visible sign of the organic structure of the human form is discovered as it takes shape upon the exterior wall of the blastodermic membrane1 known as the embryonic spot1 and known also as the primitive trace or furrow4 ,it is supposed that from this is formed the spinal canal1 with the dorsal plate upon either side1 from which springs the framework of the bony structure1 and at one end of which is the large rounded cavity which forms the receptacle for the brain and the medulla oblongata1 or the upper cranial portion of the spinal cord1 which is to control respiration1 and at the other extremity of which1 in a later stage1 will sprout or grow the legs and feet4 ,without complicating the subject too much for the clear understanding of the ordinary reader by undertaking to explain minute changes which are very interesting to specialists1 but likely to detract from its interest and value to the ordinary reader1 let it suffice to say that in the course of a brief period the embryo which has grown mainly from the two blastodermic membranes which we have described1 and is attached to the walls of the womb by the placenta and cord which carries the blood and life-currents from the body of the mother to the growing body of the child within1 is at this period of its development surrounded and enclosed by a number of membranes4 ,the outer one of these is the inner lining of the womb itself1 known as the decidua vera4 ,within this is the decidua reflex1 the membrane of the womb1 which extended itself and grew around the ovum1 completely enclosing it4 ,the third is the chorion1 forming the outer membrane which encloses the fetus1 and within which is the amnion1 or innermost membrane which surrounds the fetus1 and between which is another membrane1 called the allantois4 ,the amnion1 which is the innermost of the membranes surrounding the fetus1 seemingly has a special office1 which is to secrete the fluid technically called the amniotic4 ,this fluid is popularly known as the waters4 ,this secretion performs several important offices4 ,it protects the fetus from any local pressure or blow1 and so distributes any pressure as to enable all the parts to grow without danger of distortion and deformity4 ,it also affords the fetus greater freedom of motion1 and protects the womb and other parts from injuries which might otherwise be inflicted by the fetus after quickening4 ,within this fluid the fetus floats during its formative period1 and when the time of birth comes the breaking of the sac which contains this fluid enables it to flow out1 lubricating the parts1 or channel1 through which the newly formed being is to pass in its exit into the outer world4 ,the importance of this fluid in this latter office is of great moment4 ,when the sac breaks and the waters flow away too much in advance of the birth of the child1 there generally occur the inconveniences that attend what is called a dry birth4 ,as already mentioned in a previous paragraph1 during the first weeks of growth the embryo is nourished the same as the young chick within the egg1 by the yolk1 in which its earliest nourishment has been stored4 ,soon the delicate union is formed between the chorion by the gathering and multiplication of the villi or minute hair-like membranes1 which gather into a compact mass and adhere to the adjacent portion of the womb4 ,this formation is known as the placenta1 previously described1 which is constituted of two portions--the maternal side1 which is toward the walls of the womb1 and the fetal side1 which is toward the growing fetus4 ,upon the inner side1 the placenta is united with the fetus by two arteries which are wrapped around the one vein1 which together unite with the body of the placenta4 ,through these the life-currents flow2 and1 while the circulation between the bodies of mother and child are not direct or uninterrupted1 for the fetus has its own measurably independent circulation1 yet from the time the connection is formed until the cord is severed at birth the fetus derives all its nourishment from the mother4 ,let us turn now to note the rapid changes which take place within the germ or egg from the time of its impregnation to the hour of the birth of the child4 ,the changes1 although seemingly very minute at first1 are nevertheless very rapid from the beginning to the period of maturity and birth4 ,the following account1 taken from ,plain ,talks on ,avoided ,subjects1 by ,henry ,n4 ,guernsey1 ,m4,d41 constitutes a goodly portion of the introductory chapter of that excellent little book1 and presents the matter in the intelligible and impressive manner we desire for this place1 and is quoted in full by permission3 ,the first indication of formation that is possible to discover1 even by the help of the microscope1 consists of an oblong figure1 obtuse at one extremity1 swollen in the middle1 blunt-pointed at the other extremity4 ,the rudimentary embryo is slightly curved forward1 is of a grayish-white color1 of a gelatinous consistence1 from two to four lines long1 and weighs one or two grains4 ,a slight depression1 representing the neck1 enables us to distinguish the head2 the body is marked by a swollen centre1 but there are as yet no traces of the extremities4 ,so much can be observed about the end of the third week after conception4 ,at about the fifth week the embryo presents more distinctions4 ,the head is very large in proportion to the rest of the body1 the eyes are represented by two black spots1 and the upper extremities by small protuberances on the sides of the trunk4 ,the embryo at this stage is nearly two-thirds of an inch in length and weighs about fifteen grains4 ,the lower extremities now begin to appear in the shape of two minute rounded tubercles4 ,till about this time a straight artery has been observed to beat with the regularity of the pulse2 but now it appears doubled somewhat into the shape of an adult heart1 although as yet it has but one auricle and one ventricle4 ,as time advances we find the perfect heart1 with its two ventricles and two auricles1 all developed from the original straight artery4 ,at this period the lungs appear to exist in five or six different lobes1 and we can barely distinguish the bronchial tubes2 about the same time the ears and face are distinctly outlined1 and after awhile the nose is also faintly and imperfectly perceived4 ,at about the seventh week1 little bony deposit is found in the lower jaw4 ,the kidneys now begin to be formed1 and a little later the genital organs4 ,the embryo averages one inch in length4 ,at two months the rudiments of the extremities become more prominent4 ,the forearm and hand can be distinguished1 but not the arm above the elbow2 the hand is larger than the forearm1 but is not supplied with fingers4 ,the sex cannot yet be determined4 ,the length of the embryo is from one inch and a half to two inches1 and it weighs from three to five drachms4 ,the eyes are discernible1 but still uncovered by the rudimentary lids4 ,the nose forms an obtuse eminence1 the nostrils are rounded and separated1 the mouth is gaping1 and the epidermis can be distinguished from the true skin4 ,at ten weeks the embryo is from one and a half to two and a half inches long1 and its weight is from one ounce to an ounce and a half2 the eyelids are more developed1 and descend in front of the eyes2 the mouth begins to be closed by the development of the lips4 ,the walls of the chest are more completely formed1 so that it is no longer possible to see the movements of the heart4 ,the fingers become distinct1 and the toes appear as small projections webbed together like a frog's foot4 ,at about this period the sexual organs show their development1 as follows3 ,on each side of the urinary locality an oblong fold becomes distinguishable2 in course of progress1 if these folds remain separate1 a little tubercle forms in the anterior commissure which becomes the clitoris2 the nymph,a develop1 the urethra forms between them1 and the female sex is determined4 ,if1 on the other hand1 these folds unite into a rounded projection1 the scrotum is formed1 the little tubercle above becomes the penis1 and hence the male sex4 ,the testicles forming within the body descend later into the scrotum1 and organs similar to them1 their counterparts1 form in the females and are called ovaries4 ,these ovaries are found attached to an organ called the womb1 and this1 again1 is united with the vagina1 which leads downwards and outwards between the labia majora 7or larger lips74 ,at the end of the third month the weight of the embryo is from three to four ounces and its length from four to five inches2 the eyeballs are seen through the lids1 the pupils of the eyes are discernible1 the forehead1 nose and lips can be clearly distinguished4 ,the finger-nails resemble thin membranous plates1 the skin shows more firmness1 but is still rosy-hued1 thin and transparent4 ,the sex can now be fully determined4 ,at the end of the fourth month the product of conception is no longer called an embryo1 but a fetus4 ,the body is from six to eight inches in length1 and weighs six or seven ounces4 ,a few little white hairs are seen scattered over the scalp4 ,the development of the face is still imperfect4 ,the eyes are now closed by their lids1 the nostrils are well-formed1 the mouth is shut in by the lips1 and the sex is still more sharply defined4 ,the tongue may be observed far back in the mouth1 and the lower part of the face is rounded off by what a little later will be a well-formed chin4 ,the movements of the fetus are by this time plainly felt by the mother1 and if born at this time it may live several months4 ,at the end of the fifth month the body of the fetus is from seven to nine inches long1 and weighs from eight to eleven ounces4 ,the skin has a fairer appearance and more consistence2 the eyes can no longer be distinguished through the lids1 owing to the increased thickness of the latter4 ,the head1 heart and kidneys are large and well-developed4 ,at the end of the sixth month the fetus is from eleven to twelve and a half inches in length1 and weighs about sixteen ounces1 more or less4 ,the hair upon the scalp is thicker and longer1 the eyes remain closed1 and very delicate hairs may be seen upon the margins of the eyelids and upon the eyebrows4 ,the nails are solid1 the scrotum small and empty1 the surface of the skin appears wrinkled1 but the dermis may be distinguished from the epidermis4 ,the liver is large and red1 and the gall-bladder contains fluid4 ,at the end of the seventh month the length of the fetus is from twelve and a half to fourteen inches2 its weight is about fifty-five ounces1 and it is both well-defined and well-proportioned in all its parts4 ,the bones of the cranium1 hitherto quite flat1 now appear a little arched1 and1 as the process of ossification goes on1 the arching increases until the vault is quite complete4 ,the brain presents greater firmness1 and the eyelids are opened4 ,the skin is much firmer1 and red4 ,the gall-bladder contains bile4 ,at the end of the eighth month the fetus seems to thicken up rather than to increase in length1 since it is only from sixteen to eighteen inches long1 while its weight increases from four to five pounds4 ,the skin is red1 and characterized at this period by a fine downy covering1 over which is spread a quantity of thick viscous matter1 called the sebaceous coat1 which has been forming since the latter part of the fifth month4 ,the lower jaw has now become as long as the upper one1 and in the male the left testicle may be found in the scrotum4 ,convolutions appear in the brain structure4 ,at nine months the anxious time of parturition 7or birth7 has arrived4 ,the fetus is from nineteen to twenty-three inches in length1 and weighs on an average from six to eight pounds4 ,children at birth sometimes weigh as much as fourteen pounds2 but such extremes are very rare4 ,at this period the white and gray matter of the brain are distinct1 and the convolutions are well marked2 the nails assume a horny consistence1 hair upon the head is more or less abundant1 the testes are in the scrotum1 and the entire external genital organs of both male and female are well formed4 ,how wonderfully and how instructively are all organs in the animal body disposed and arranged6 ,in the highest place we find the brain to govern and rule over all below4 ,it is the first organ formed1 and in an orderly life should control all the others4 ,next in order and importance are the heart and lungs1 which put into motion all other parts and enable the animal frame to continue in motion4 ,so each and every organ is developed in its proper order1 all to obey the commands of the first and most important--the brain1 the seat of the reason and the will4 ,happy are they of either sex who will govern themselves by a pure1 enlightened reason and a pure1 affectionate will4 ,while we may note the various stages of change and progress1 yet to the thoughtful student there lies back of all these outer manifestations a hidden life1 a divine unfolding of the human body which is mysterious and awe-inspiring4 ,while we know something of what takes place1 yet the declaration of the ,book of ,ecclesiastes is impressively true3 ,thou knowest not what is the way of the ,spirit1 nor how the bones do grow in the womb of her that is with child4 ,all who study it thoughtfully and reverently can exclaim with ,david3 ,i am fearfully and wonderfully made3 marvelous are ,thy works2 and that my soul knoweth right well4 ,my substance was not hid from ,thee1 when ,i was made in secret1 and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth4 ,thine eyes did see my substance1 yet being imperfect2 and in ,thy book all my members were written1 which in continuance were fashioned1 when as yet there was none of them4 ,let us turn now to the mother who has nourished and who is about to bring into the world the body of an immortal being4 ,some of the changes most easily noted in the body of the mother occur as she reaches the period when approaching maturity has prepared the body of the child for an early entrance into the outer world4 ,marvelous as are the less noticeable changes which have earlier taken place1 the time has now come when others which are more marked are soon to manifest themselves4 ,several days prior to the event there is a dropping or subsidence of the womb4 ,this is preparatory to the distention and enlargement of the vagina through which the exit is to be made4 ,the stomach and lungs are relieved of pressure1 the mother feels more easy1 is more inclined to move about1 breathes more freely1 and the sense of oppression which formerly caused her to desire inaction passes away1 and ,providence thus fits her to make such necessary preparations as are important in view of the event which is soon to take place4 ,as the days approach1 the external parts give indication of the distention and enlargement which has taken place in the vagina and the preparations which nature is making for the more easy exit of the life which has developed within4 ,the entire physical nature of the mother is in a state of preparation for the great event4 ,a large quantity of blood is being sent to the breasts1 the lacteals are developing1 and the preparation is being completed for the secretion of milk1 so that there may be no lack when the little stranger arrives4 ,one of the earliest indications that the event is about to take place is the discharge of the small plug of mucus which has served to hermetically seal the neck of the womb against the entrance of any foreign substance2 but its office or work is now completed4 ,the cervix1 or neck of the womb1 enlarges1 and this little plug1 popularly known as the show1 passes away with some streaks of blood4 ,while the neck of the womb1 the vaginal passage and the external parts have greatly enlarged1 the womb itself is beginning to contract preparatory to the expulsion of that which it has fostered and nourished for a period of about nine months4 ,the earliest premonition that these contractions are taking place is found in the grinding pains1 which come at irregular intervals1 sometimes a couple of hours apart1 or only separated by a half hour1 or even a shorter period4 ,these contractions of the abdominal muscles are soon followed by the true labor-pains1 which come at more regular intervals4 ,these grinding pains are felt in the back and loins4 ,the contractions rise to a certain pitch of intensity1 and then as gradually abate4 ,usually1 as the regular labor-pains begin1 the fluid contained in the amniotic sac1 and within which the child has floated during its period of growth1 is now liberated by the breaking of the sac1 flows through the vaginal passage1 lubricating the parts and preparing all for an easy exit of the body of the infant into the outer world4 ,when the presentation is normal the head comes first1 and usually in a period varying from a few minutes to a few hours the child is born4 ,in exceptional cases the labor may be extended over a day or more1 but such cases are relatively rare4 ,the apprehensions of dangers which associate themselves in the minds of many with childbirth are not often realized4 ,if the parts are not diseased1 and the mother is in good health1 and the laws of the unfolding life have been carefully observed1 there is little peril1 although1 generally1 considerable pain4 ,there are many physicians who have attended hundreds of women in confinement who have never lost but an exceptional case or two4 ,the extreme pain endured by many women is largely due to the lack of that knowledge which would have enabled the mother to approach this period with but little apprehension1 and to have passed through the period of parturition or childbirth with but slight inconvenience and pain4 ,while the perils may be greatly reduced and the pains greatly diminished1 it is nevertheless a period of wonderful revolution throughout the entire physical nature of the mother4 ,the blood which flowed from her heart to nourish and foster the growing body of her child is now turned in other directions1 and the fountains at which the child is to receive its food and its strength begin to flow with their richness of life-giving currents4 ,after the placenta and the sacs which enclosed the fetus1 which together constitute what is known as the afterbirth1 have passed away1 the recuperating and renewing powers with which ,god has so wonderfully endowed the body of the mother beyond that of the father become active4 ,the muscular tissues of the womb1 vagina and the external parts at once begin to contract1 and the entire nature of the mother begins to adjust itself to the new relations of her child to her own body and the necessities of nourishing and guarding it upon the external portion of her body1 rather than within that mysterious chamber which ,god prepared for its beginning and the earliest unfoldings of its infant life4 ,when the child is born into the world its body also undergoes a wonderful revolution4 ,then1 for the first time1 its heart takes up its own independent action2 air for the first time enters the cells of the lungs1 and with the early shock1 if it might so be called1 of taking its first breath1 the child usually utters its first cries4 ,during the period of its fetal life the lungs have received only so much blood as was necessary for their own growth and development1 but with the first breath they expand and receive the inflowing of the blood from the right side of the heart4 ,this involves the opening of some passages and the closing of others4 ,these are but the first of a series of transformations which are early to take place4 ,the various veins1 arteries and ducts which have hitherto received the supplies of blood from the placenta and returned the worn and wasted material to that same centre1 or distribute the supplies for special service throughout different portions of the body1 by the cutting of the umbilical or navel cord1 and the separation of the child from the placenta and body of the mother1 now assume a new relation to the independent body of the newborn child4 ,some of these ducts and arteries soon entirely close1 and in some instances degenerate into impervious cords with new and important offices2 some are transformed into true ligaments1 while others remain pervious4 ,now that the primitive purposes of some of these parts have been fulfilled1 the parts themselves disappear1 while still other parts take upon themselves new offices and duties which are imposed by the changes incident to birth--the separation from the body of the mother and the entrance upon its own independent life in the outer world4 ,truly1 we are fearfully and wonderfully made4 ,the infinite ,author of all things has left the stamp of ,his wisdom upon everything that ,he has created4 ,whether we take the microscope and study the earliest beginnings and mysterious unfoldings of this spark of human life2 whether we study the blade of grass beneath our feet1 or the stars that shine over our heads2 everywhere we find the wonderful wisdom of our ,creator4 ,day unto day uttereth speech1 and night unto night showeth knowledge4 ,it matters not whether we listen to the lessons of a flower1 the history of an atom1 or the song of the spheres1 there is no speech nor language where their voice is not heard2 their line is gone out through all the earth1 and their words to the end of the world4 ,,chapter ,,xvi4 ,,when ,,the ,,baby ,,is ,,born4 ,at the end of about #bhj days after the conception1 or what under ordinary conditions would have been the tenth menstrual period1 the days are completed and the expectant mother is usually delivered of her child4 ,the day when the indications are that the child is to be born is always one of great anxiety1 but need not be one of apprehension or fear4 ,where the laws of health have been observed there is no cause for apprehension4 ,with the birth of the first child the labor is oftentimes somewhat more prolonged and attended with more pain1 but the after-pains are usually not considerable4 ,generally the pains which precede the birth diminish with each succeeding confinement1 but the after-pains increase in a similar manner4 ,where the mother has made intelligent preparation for this great event1 the child may be1 and generally is1 born without the actual assistance of the doctor4 ,an intelligent nurse would be in position to render every needed assistance1 but the presence of a well-equipped physician always brings such added ease to the mind of the mother1 by removing all unnecessary risks1 that it is always desirable that the physician should have been apprised in advance1 notified promptly1 and be on hand as soon as possible after the labor-pains commence4 ,this is especially important when it is the first child4 ,if the labor should be short and the birth take place before the arrival of the physician1 the nurse or attendant should be careful to see that the cord is not wound about the neck of the child1 but placed free1 and the child with its head in position so that it can breathe naturally1 and with its body warmly covered4 ,when the pulsing in the cord has ceased and the child has cried vigorously1 any nurse who has been present at previous confinements1 who is intelligent and capable1 would be able to sever the cord after having made the necessary bindings upon it4 ,indeed1 some authorities contend that when the pulsing has ceased the cord may be severed without any tying of the ends at all4 ,dr4 ,alice ,b4 ,stockham1 in ,tokology1 makes the following sensible suggestions3 ,usually1 as the child is ushered into the world1 it sets up a lusty cry1 indicating that respiration is established4 ,crying is not essential1 as some authors claim1 and the prompt covering usually causes it to desist4 ,if it does not breathe at once1 a little brisk patting on the breast and thigh may establish respiration4 ,if this is not effectual1 dash cold water in the face and on the chest4 ,still failing1 artificial respiration must be established4 ,to do this1 close the nostrils with two fingers1 blow into the mouth1 and then expel the air from the lungs by a gentle pressure upon the chest4 ,continue this as long as any hope of life remains4 ,sever the cord when pulsation has entirely ceased4 ,use a dull pair of scissors1 cutting about two inches from the child's navel4 ,following these directions1 no tying is essential4 ,tying is done in order to prevent excessive bleeding2 but whether to tie the ends of the severed placentic cord1 or not1 is a matter which should be left wholly to the attendant doctor4 ,it is well for the young husband to be intelligent and well-read along these and kindred lines1 but if he employs a physician he should accept the physician's judgment and have his instructions followed4 ,if he is not satisfied with the doctor whom he has employed1 but sees fit to change for one whose opinions harmonize more closely with his own1 that is a matter for the husband's own judgment1 but the physician who is employed should always be supreme and left without interference or dictation4 ,the doctor in charge must have absolute control in a lying-in room4 ,he should direct1 and not be dictated to4 ,if the husband is intelligent1 enters into the sympathies of his wife1 and has her confidence1 if the physician consents1 as he doubtless will1 it seems quite natural that he should desire to be present with his wife in this trying experience of her life4 ,if he understands the nature of the experience through which she is called upon to pass1 his sympathy will be helpful to his wife1 and if nature has endowed him with any of the qualifications of a good nurse1 he can be of assistance to the doctor4 ,where the husband is without intelligence1 is nervous1 and exerts a depressing influence upon his wife1 his absence may be more helpful than his presence4 ,if the husband is intelligent and sympathetic1 it seems to us that he could not but desire to be with his wife2 but where he is wholly disqualified1 his physician should not hesitate to express his judgment and preference in this matter4 ,the presence of a physician is always to be preferred1 in order to determine the presentation1 sever the cord1 and look carefully after the afterbirth4 ,the normal presentation is of the head foremost4 ,where the inexperienced young husband is in an extremity1 and finds himself alone at the hour of delivery1 he should expect1 as is most likely1 that everything will move along normally1 and he needs to be especially guarded only upon three points4 ,when the head is born1 see that the navel cord is not twisted around the child's neck4 ,if this should be the case1 it can easily be slightly loosened and then slipped over the child's head2 otherwise the pressure of this tightened ligature would prevent its breathing and would result in strangulation4 ,in an extreme case the cord could easily be tied in two places1 a couple of inches apart1 and cut between them4 ,this should be done by an experienced person only1 and as a last resort4 ,after the child is born1 the next and last important thing is the coming away of the placenta1 or afterbirth4 ,this often occurs at the end of twenty minutes or a half hour1 or may be longer delayed4 ,in the meantime the mother should be warmly covered1 and any drink given her should not be either extremely hot or extremely cold4 ,the afterbirth should be kept in a vessel prepared for it until the doctor has inspected it1 so that he may know whether all the parts have come away or not4 ,if any part remains1 it might cause serious trouble4 ,these things successfully accomplished1 the bathing of the child and care of the mother are next in order4 ,how soon these should be undertaken would have to be determined by conditions4 ,with the mother1 a period of rest is sometimes very desirable4 ,when bathing her body1 or changing her bed1 the greatest care should be exercised to protect her from the danger of contracting cold4 ,during these hours her physical nature undergoes a great revolution1 and exposure at this time might entail permanent results of a serious character4 ,fevers1 bealed breasts1 the aches1 pains and perils which so often accompany and follow confinement1 are almost wholly due to lack of proper care at this period4 ,if the young husband is intelligent and desires the comfort and well-being of his wife he will see that for a sufficient period she is protected against callers1 and even the visits of friends4 ,she is weak and needs absolute rest4 ,she needs at least several days or more before she should be visited4 ,if callers are allowed in her room1 they are liable to remain too long4 ,if you lack the nerve to decline callers the privilege they may expect1 then ask your physician to order that no one see her at present4 ,the comfort1 safety and well-being of the wife renders the selection of a good nurse a matter of as great importance as the choice of a good physician4 ,in this matter the doctor is oftentimes the best counselor4 ,he is constantly coming in contact with those who are in charge1 where he is in attendance1 and his suggestions ought to be most valuable4 ,it is of the utmost importance that she should be a woman of pure blood2 and for this a good moral character is the best guarantee4 ,it is not wise to suppose that1 since she is to remain but for a few weeks1 the question of character is of no moment1 for1 without any outward evidences to arouse suspicion1 she might bring with her1 and by kissing and in other ways communicate to the child the results of venereal and other diseases which might entail1 from this unsuspected source1 consequences from which years could not bring subsequent relief4 ,medical authorities assert that at least six weeks are required after childbirth before the womb assumes its natural size and position4 ,an eminent physician1 writing in the ,new ,york ,medical ,journal1 says3 ,i have watched this very carefully in a number of women1 and have seen in the perfectly clean womb of a non-nursing mother involution delayed as late as the third month4 ,it is perfectly safe to say that parents will make no mistake by observing the requirement of the ,levitical teaching upon this subject4 ,after confinement or miscarriage1 marital relations should be wholly omitted for a period4 ,upon this point the sanitary regulations of the ,mosaic economy were very explicit4 ,in the twelfth chapter of ,leviticus instruction is given that after the birth of a male child at least forty days should elapse1 and after the birth of a female1 or maid child1 at least eighty days should be permitted to elapse4 ,just why there should be this difference in time1 six weeks after the birth of a male child and three months after the birth of a female child1 seems not to be clearly understood either by theologians or medical authorities4 ,when we know that this is intended and enjoined1 we can rest assured that there are good and sufficient reasons1 whether they be physical1 social1 sanitary or political4 ,no thoughtful or considerate husband would desire to impose upon his wife such exactions as would result in her certain discomfort1 and possibly in such permanent physical injuries as are quite sure to follow4 ,one of the medical journals recently contained an incident narrated by a physician who had attended a woman in five different confinements4 ,in each instance the physician noticed that about the seventh or eighth day the temperature of the patient indicated some unusual physical disturbance or irregularity4 ,in the last confinement1 when the physician called to mind similar conditions during previous periods of convalescence1 he decided to discover the cause1 and1 by questioning the patient very critically1 learned that the guilty husband was the occasion of his wife's trouble4 ,while such occurrences are shameful in the highest degree1 yet it is possible that such gross conduct is the occasion of many relapses upon the part of convalescing mothers1 and to this it is probable that many deaths may easily be attributable4 ,that some husbands are brutal in this respect1 we need but simply to name that an eminent physician of ,philadelphia has stated that a legal friend had told him that he had procured a divorce within two years from her marriage for a wife whose charges of cruelty were sustained by the evidence that three days after her confinement her husband had driven the nurse out of his wife's room in order that he might make this cruel exaction of her4 ,after the little stranger is safely landed1 bathed1 dressed1 and has had a sufficient period of rest1 the matter of nourishment is likely to come up for consideration4 ,the food which nature has provided is best suited to the physical requirements of the child1 and is found in the mother's breasts4 ,the earliest secretions of her breast constitute what is called colostrum1 and is purgative in character1 designed to cleanse the child's bowels of the meconium1 or tar-like substance1 with which they are filled previous to birth4 ,other food should never be substituted until failure has resulted in an honest1 serious effort to conform to nature's purpose4 ,if for any reason the child cannot obtain the nourishment which should be provided by the mother1 it needs very little food until the third day4 ,if the serious results attendant upon artificial food and the provision of wet-nurses were fully understood1 the terrible consequences which come to both the children and their parents1 as the result of such courses1 would be studiously avoided4 ,the desire to escape the nursing and care of children1 so as early to return to the rounds of social duties and marital excesses1 is a great mistake4 ,the well-being of the mother1 as well as of the child1 is dependent upon the fulfillment of the natural obligations which are inseparable from the relation of motherhood4 ,in large cities there are women who lead dissolute lives1 put away their own children1 and then rent themselves out as wet-nurses4 ,when interviewed they tell plausible stories1 and ingratiate themselves sometimes into good families1 to render the double service of nurse and artificial mother4 ,many of these women are not only devoid of moral character1 but bring to the child the degenerating influences which are inseparable from the vice and impurity which is a part of their own being4 ,not infrequently these women bring with them the after-effects of gonorrhea and syphilis1 and the innocent child1 which is entitled to the nourishment from the body of its own mother1 is subjected by unthinking parents to the necessity of feeding at fountains which flow with corruption1 disease and death4 ,it is on this very account that the children of the middle and even lower classes are generally stronger physically1 intellectually and morally1 than the children of those whose wealth and inclination incline them to dissipation and excess1 to late hours and rich food1 and who from simple preference subject their children to artificial food1 or to the dangers and diseases which are so often brought into the home by a wet-nurse and vicious nurse-girls4 ,fatherhood1 no less than motherhood1 has its duties and its pleasures4 ,it is not only the father's duty1 but it ought also to be his pleasure1 to look after his own children4 ,some husbands speak of the baby as though it belonged wholly to the wife1 and not to them4 ,the thought of caring for or tending the child seems to be as foreign to their minds as though it were a child adopted by their wives from a foundling asylum4 ,it is not only the privilege1 but the honor of the father to be found enjoying the pleasure and satisfaction of holding and caring for his children at proper times and intervals of leisure4 ,one of the prettiest pictures of home life is a painting in one of the galleries of ,europe of the king of ,belgium1 upon his hands and knees upon the floor of the nursery1 playing horse with his own royal children4 ,some men seem to act as though it were a disgrace for them to carry their own children through the streets1 or push the baby carriage when accompanied by their own wives4 ,every person has seen some strong1 stalwart father1 with weak character1 walking by the side of a delicate1 nervous wife1 who is weak and faint because of the burden of carrying a child which belongs as much to the father as to the mother4 ,before they were married this same man would not allow the delicate darling by his side to carry her parasol2 but now that they are married she is permitted to carry a child that weighs ten or twenty pounds1 or even more1 for great distances1 because of the false pride of her unthoughtful husband4 ,we once knew a pastor of a prominent city church who lived adjacent to a small park where he was accustomed1 at times1 to sit in the shade and read4 ,after a baby came into their home1 being a sensible man1 he found pleasure in giving some time and attention to his child2 used sometimes to wheel it through the park in a baby carriage1 or have the carriage stand near him while he sat and read4 ,his home was not without a sufficient number of helpers1 and one of his parishioners ventured one day to suggest that it was not becoming to take the baby with him when he went into the park to read2 but the sensible father resented not only the insult which was offered to him personally1 but to universal fatherhood1 by replying that it was his baby1 and he would do with it as he pleased4 ,the presence of a baby is a blessing in any home4 ,it is a blessing to the father as well as to the mother4 ,some men are not good fathers1 the same as some women are not the best of mothers2 but any thoughtful husband will concede the fact that a proper apprehension of the relation which he sustains to the baby that is born in his home calls for a recognition of the privileges and obligations of a father to himself1 to his child1 and to his wife as well4 ,what his home is1 what his children are to become1 will depend as much1 and possibly more1 upon what he is and does1 than upon the little woman whose time1 talent and strength are already taxed to their utmost by the various and constant demands which she must hourly meet4 ,,part ,,iii ,,concerning ,,his ,,children ,,chapter ,,xvii4 ,,heredity4 ,we now come in the third and last part of this book to write of what a young husband ought to know with regard to his children4 ,if his children are to be greatly benefited by the wisdom of the father1 he should be in possession of the knowledge imparted in the following chapters many years before he is in possession of the children4 ,after they have received their inheritance from the parents1 their bodies have been molded and fashioned1 and bent and direction already given to their character1 it is then too late to put such knowledge into practical use4 ,much of what might be said in the closing chapters of this book has already found expression in the pages preceding4 ,the doctrine of transmission and inheritance pervades not only this entire book1 but also the two which precede it in the series4 ,while it is true that too much importance cannot be placed upon the subject of heredity1 the inheritance which we receive not only from our parents and grandparents but even from our great-grandparents1 and while it is true that all that can be acquired in character and culture1 both intellectual and physical1 is transmitted from the parents to their children2 yet possibly that which is by far the largest factor in determining the physical1 intellectual1 social and moral endowment of the child are found in the influences which mold and fashion the child during the months which lie between the period of conception and the time of birth4 ,the potent influences of these different periods stand related to each other somewhat like what may be seen in the studio of an artist who molds and fashions in clay the models which are afterward to be actualized in brass or bronze4 ,while the success of the work might be said to be greatly dependent upon the character1 quality and condition of the clay brought to hand for this service1 and while no perfect result could be secured with indifferent material1 yet it is easy to see how1 with the very best material at hand1 an indifferent artist or a good artist when in indifferent mood would produce a very inferior model4 ,if1 with the thought of modifying the bronze figure after it has been cast1 the artist is indifferent to the merits of the model which he is making1 the final result can only prove a failure4 ,no step in the work is unimportant1 but the most important of all is the perfection of the model4 ,in his hands the clay readily yields itself to his thought and impression2 constant momentary care will prevent defects and deformities which could not be wholly remedied or refashioned1 even by months and years of subsequent toil4 ,a wise man1 when asked at what period a child's education should begin1 replied3 ,twenty years before it is born4 ,this is not an extreme statement1 and if it errs in anything it errs in making the period too short rather than too long4 ,henry ,ward ,beecher once said that since so much depends upon one's ancestors1 a man ought to be very careful in choosing his grandparents2 and there is a vast deal of truth suggested by this statement4 ,a young woman cannot be too careful in choosing the man who is to become the father of her children1 and a young man cannot exercise too much care in selecting the woman who is to become the mother of his children4 ,in writing of heredity and prenatal influences1 the subject divides itself naturally into the three periods which we have previously suggested--the preparation which precedes conception1 the mental and physical condition at the time of conjunction1 the environment and the mental and physical states of the mother during the period of gestation4 ,so much depends upon heredity that men who are interested in the breeding of horses for the race-course recognize the fact that unless a horse comes of racing stock he cannot be possessed of these essential qualities1 without which he cannot possibly win4 ,it is said by those who have made a study of it1 that in ,england no horse has been known to win in any considerable race that was not bred of racing stock4 ,occasionally a horse with an ordinary pedigree may exhibit wonderful speed for a short distance1 but none possesses the wind and endurance necessary for a long race with animals of a pure blood and a good pedigree4 ,to this good inheritance the horseman adds constant training and the best of care4 ,if these are at any time neglected1 the horse begins to degenerate and reverts to the level of the ordinary animal4 ,it is generally agreed by physicians and those who have devoted time to the study of this subject that the mind and temper of the parents at the moment of conjunction have a great influence upon the temper and disposition of the child4 ,children should never be begotten except at those times when the husband and the wife can both bring their contribution of good health1 affection and mental composure4 ,something of the effects produced by the mental states will appear by what we have to say in subsequent paragraphs4 ,in most instances it is perhaps true1 as we have already suggested1 that the greatest influences exerted upon the health1 disposition and character are those which are effected by the physical and mental condition of the mother and the character of her environment during the period of gestation4 ,while much of what we would like to know concerning prenatal influences is shrouded in mystery behind a veil that shuts us out from this holy of holies in which ,god dwells in mysterious creative power1 yet we do know that peace of mind1 equanimity of temper1 purity of life1 loving affections and exalted aspirations beget influences which are favorable to the production of the best physical1 intellectual and moral endowments4 ,if strong mental excitement1 anger1 emotion or fatigue affect injuriously the milk of the mother1 so that the nursing child at once feels disturbed and injured1 then we can reasonably understand how the child during the months prior to its birth1 while it is even more dependent and far more intimately connected with the life-currents of the mother's body1 and under the impress of her mental state1 must be affected in a manner correspondingly greater4 ,while scientists at the present stage of inquiry and investigation have not been able to weigh and measure the force and effect of these influences1 yet some results have been secured which help us to understand the existence of powers which were previously too subtle to be brought into the realm of human knowledge4 ,something of the manner in which the mental condition of the mother may affect the child is suggested by the interesting experiments conducted by ,prof4 ,elmer ,gates in his laboratory at ,chevy ,chase1 ,washington1 ,d4 ,c4 ,prof4 ,gates has demonstrated the fact that even the breath is so affected by the mental state that by analyzing the residuum which remains upon a looking-glass which has been breathed upon1 he is able to determine the character of the mental condition of the individual at the time the breath was exhaled upon the glass4 ,anger1 revenge1 jealousy1 joy1 pain1 pleasure1 and possibly all the emotions1 stamp their distinctive messages upon the breath with as much accuracy as the little machine in the telegraph office registers its message in characters which we need only to know in order to be read4 ,what some of these many characters are1 ,prof4 ,gates has been able to decipher1 and his investigations and discoveries establish the fact that the mentality of the individual is stamped upon the breath4 ,the mind not only affects the breath1 but it affects the entire individual2 and this statement is proven by the fact that the character of the exhalations of the body are affected by the mentality of the individual4 ,it is a well-known fact that not only does each different disease produce its own peculiar bodily odor1 but mental states produce similar effects4 ,it is affirmed that the odor in an insane asylum differs from the odor in all other institutions4 ,it is stated that no amount of care and cleanliness1 or even fumigation1 can rid the wards and rooms of this subtle and distinctive odor1 peculiar to the bodily exhalations of those who are affected with mental infirmities4 ,insane asylums do not afford the only illustration4 ,institutions in which convicts are confined also have an odor which is distinctive4 ,it differs from that of any other institution1 and from the day that the buildings are completed and the convicts enter1 the penitentiary odor is present1 because inseparable from those who inhabit its wards4 ,what is true of insane asylums and penitentiaries is doubtless true in a less pronounced manner of all institutions where persons are classified according to mental differences4 ,if the mental states of the mother affect her own bodily health1 and if each of the diseases of the body and of the mind begets exhalations with distinguishing characteristics1 it is easy to understand that the subtle effects of different mental states pervade the entire body4 ,if these influences effect results beyond and without our own bodies1 much more may they be expected to influence the unfolding mind and the developing body which are forming within the maternal body1 and whose intimate dependence upon her seems to make them a part of her own person and individuality4 ,something of these subtle laws of heredity was known even to the ancients1 but the greatest acquisitions of knowledge along these lines have come to mankind during the past two centuries4 ,thomas ,andrew ,knight1 who was born at ,wormley ,grange1 ,england1 in #ageh1 and died in #ahcf1 accomplished such large results with vegetables1 fruits and domestic animals1 that he has quite properly been considered the founder of the science of horticulture4 ,it was he who put into practice the principles which have resulted in giving us the improved apples1 pears and many other fruits which have been developed from the unpalatable wild varieties4 ,the effects later accomplished by ,bakewell in the marvelous improvements in the new ,leicester sheep afford one of many striking illustrations4 ,it is said that in the results effected by scientific breeders it would seem as if they had at first drawn a perfect form and then given it life4 ,having first determined what form of sheep they preferred1 they continued to select from the flocks those which most nearly approached the model1 until they attained results which in their standard of perfection were greatly removed from the original type4 ,if you compare the wild boar of the forests with the improved breeds of swine1 the results which have been secured become very manifest4 ,an excellent judge of pigs says3 ,pigs' legs should be no longer than just to prevent the animal's belly from trailing on the ground4 ,the leg is the least profitable portion of the hog1 and we therefore require no more of it than is absolutely necessary for the support of the rest4 ,let any one compare the wild boar with any improved breed and he will see how effectually the legs have been shortened4 ,breeders of birds and pigeons and poultry have accomplished in their departments similar results4 ,it is to the results of such study and development that we owe the many varieties of poultry1 pigeons and birds4 ,the poultry raiser may now determine whether he desires birds with large bodies for the table1 or the smaller egg-producers1 or whether he prefers other qualities1 and he may select from the different varieties such as are possessed of the desired requisites4 ,when we remember what has been accomplished by those who have taken the single-leaf wild rose and produced the many elaborate and beautiful varieties of roses which are now cultivated in hot-houses1 and when we see what has been accomplished by taking the many wild flowers of the field and developing them into the beauty and splendor of what is to be found in the botanical gardens1 one gets a very fair idea of what has really been accomplished in these directions4 ,in writing of this subject ,dr4 ,m4 ,l4 ,holbrook says3 ,if there was no law of heredity1 if animals and plants did not transmit their characters to their offspring1 then it would be a waste of time to try to improve either4 ,but the horticulturists take advantage of these known laws for the improvement of the original plant1 and it is to the application of these same principles that we owe the changes which have transformed the size and flavor of the wild cherry and the wild grape into our present luscious specimens of cultivated fruit4 ,in the raising1 mating and development of birds1 sheep and cattle1 wonderful results may be secured when the various steps are guarded and directed by intelligence4 ,while it is true that in the mating of human beings all is largely left to sentiment1 chance and blind blundering1 and while wonderful results could be attained could intelligence and forethought give direction in human love affairs1 yet with human beings who intelligently set themselves to correct mistakes and to develop talents1 to supply deficiencies and prepare to transmit the very best results that are possible to them1 the effort is approved by results in the offspring which are most gratifying and satisfactory4 ,no one can doubt the law of hereditary transmission4 ,our inherited and acquired characteristics are sure to be transmitted to our descendants4 ,indeed1 so thoroughly does character permeate one's entire being that it might be said of each drop of blood that in its characteristics it is a miniature of the person in whose body it was secreted4 ,eminent characters do not emanate from degenerate parents2 and neither is the reverse true1 except as the result of adequate reversionary influences4 ,it is possible for almost any stock to revert to its original type1 but even such results are not produced without adequate causes4 ,true1 we have the sentence ,degenerate sons of noble sires1 but when one does see such a result he may often find adequate causes4 ,eminent men often have their powers overtaxed by excessive demands4 ,great lawyers1 physicians1 preachers and statesmen often have such incessant demands upon their time and energy that1 although some are possessed of great powers of endurance1 yet many of them are almost always in a state of physical and mental depletion4 ,personally they have wrought into their daily effort all that they have to transmit1 and their children receive only the remnants and dregs of greatness--a depleted body and a depleted mind4 ,sometimes the degeneracy to the lower type is due to indulgence in social or other vices4 ,if the father is guilty of sexual excesses1 given to the liberal use of tobacco1 or uses intoxicating liquors1 it will not be necessary to look further for the causes4 ,sometimes the child has had a great father1 but a very ordinary mother2 or both parents may have been great1 while the mother may have been placed under the most disadvantageous surroundings1 and subjected to the most unfavorable conditions during the period of gestation2 or1 after the birth of the child1 it may have been turned over to the degenerating influences of diseased and corrupting servants2 or it might be that the child had inherited the real character of a father whose reputation was great1 but whose character was ordinary4 ,the farmer who would raise a good crop finds three things essential4 ,the first is1 good seed2 the second is1 good soil2 and the third is1 good care4 ,,chapter ,,xviii4 ,,prenatal ,,influences4 ,space does not permit us to go into a full discussion of the theories and of the principles which lie at the basis of prenatal influences4 ,a few illustrations1 however1 will be suggestive1 induce thoughtful consideration1 and possibly lead many to a fuller investigation of the subject4 ,it is said that the mother of ,robert ,burns1 the ,scottish poet1 was of a very happy disposition1 and evinced a remarkable memory for old songs and ballads1 and these she would sing as she went about her daily household duties4 ,another instance often named is that of ,napoleon ,bonaparte4 ,during the months preceding his birth his mother is said to have accompanied her husband on horseback upon one of his military campaigns4 ,for several months she lived in the midst of military surroundings1 and became personally interested in the arts of war4 ,these influences stamped their impress upon her unborn child1 whose earliest manifestation of childish interest after his birth was an exhibition of the warlike spirit4 ,his thoughts and boyhood conversation were of war and conquest4 ,mr4 ,c4 ,j4 ,bayer1 in his interesting and suggestive book1 entitled ,maternal ,impressions1 tells of a woman who1 during the period of gestation1 was stinted in her allowance of money1 and stole from the cash-drawer in her husband's store4 ,the son that was born to them was a kleptomaniac1 whose stealing was limited to those of his own family and relatives4 ,he stole his sister's watch1 his mother's gold chain1 a new suit and a diamond pin from his father2 but he was never known to take anything from any one except his near relatives4 ,if mothers would have honest children they should be careful to entertain no dishonest inclinations4 ,the result of an unsuccessful effort to murder one's own unborn offspring is seen in ,guiteau1 the assassin who shot ,president ,garfield in #ahha4 ,his father was a man of some intellectual ability and integrity of character4 ,the ,guiteau children were born in rapid succession1 and1 because of lack of means1 the mother1 who was in poor health1 was obliged to work harder than would have otherwise been the case4 ,before the birth of this child she resorted to every means in her power1 by the use of drugs1 to produce an abortion4 ,in this she was unsuccessful4 ,for several weeks during the latter part of her pregnancy she had brain fever1 which probably also had the effect of arresting the development of some parts of the brain of her child4 ,when the child was born it was weak and puny1 and for months its life was one continual wail4 ,it was months before the nervous system became at all quiet4 ,he was deficient in common sense1 without self-control1 and entirely destitute of every vestige of remorse or shame4 ,he was born a degenerate and a murderer4 ,from the great mass of matter which is available upon the subject of prenatal influences1 ,dr4 ,napheys tells of the artist ,flaxman1 the outlines of whose drawings used to be regarded as the most perfect and graceful in existence3 ,from earliest childhood he manifested a delight in drawing4 ,his mother1 a woman of refinement and artistic taste1 used to relate that for months previous to his birth she spent hours daily studying engravings1 and fixing in her memory the most beautiful productions of the human figure as portrayed by masters4 ,she was convinced that the genius of her son was the fruit of her own self-culture4 ,only a few days ago a young mother who had been alone much of the time during the period of gestation1 and who had found special delight in books and reading1 called our attention to the fact that her twin girls1 now nearly two years of age1 will accept a book in preference to toys1 and be contented by the hour simply to hold and handle a book4 ,mr4 ,c4 ,j4 ,bayer tells of a young wife at whom some girl friends pointed their finger1 and1 referring to her condition1 said3 ,aren't you ashamed of yourself8 ,after they were gone1 the young mother went to her room and cried bitterly over the remark which the girls had made4 ,her child1 when seen by ,mr4 ,bayer at the age of six1 if any one1 a stranger or friend1 pointed a finger at her1 would burst into a fit of crying1 and it seemed impossible to cure her of this habit4 ,he also tells of a young mother who had an exceptionally bright child3 ,when the child was three months old its brightness was commented upon by some of her friends1 and the mother said1 ',i impressed that upon her4' ',how did you come to do that8' ,she replied1 ',i have seen so many dull children1 in my school work1 who could not understand what was told them1 that ,i wanted my child to be quick to perceive and to comprehend1 and so let my mind dwell upon it1 hoping to get favorable results4 ,i had been told that it could be done1 and ,i am convinced that it is possible4' ,many instances of horrible child-marking are given in medical books1 but it is not best to allow the mind to dwell upon these things4 ,we name but a couple of instances1 to illustrate the principle4 ,dr4 ,napheys tells of a woman1 the wife of a baker1 who1 during the early months of her pregnancy1 sold bread over the counter4 ,nearly every day a child with a double thumb came in for a penny roll1 presenting the money between the thumb and the finger4 ,after the third month the mother left the bakery1 but the malformation was so impressed upon her mind that she was not surprised to see it reproduced in her own infant4 ,the mother in due time sought to correct the deformity by having the supernumerary thumb removed by a surgical operation4 ,we recently heard of a mother who gave birth to a child that had but one hand4 ,the other arm was handless1 as if amputated between the elbow and wrist4 ,the only way she could account for the deficiency in her child was the fact that her husband's brother1 who had had his hand amputated1 lived in the family during the earlier months of her pregnancy4 ,while she received no special shock1 being familiar with his condition1 yet the mental impression1 continued through a considerable period of the earlier months1 had its disastrous result4 ,mr4 ,c4 ,j4 ,bayer names some interesting instances in support of his theory that the disastrous effects of being frightened in the earlier months of gestation may be corrected by the wish of the mother that her child may not be affected1 deformed or marked by the object or influences which have caused her to be startled4 ,he says that if a mother earnestly desires to counteract a bad influence she should hope and long that it may not do any harm4 ,the result of such mental effort will be beneficial to the forming brain4 ,that very longing and desire upon the part of the mother will have a corresponding effect upon her child4 ,this idea is drawn from1 and the phenomena is explained by1 the fact that the mother1 through her longings1 creates the brain-substance which is to control the desires which her child will possess4 ,much might also be said upon the subject of longings4 ,in a general way it may be said that it is always best1 when the longing is a proper one1 to see that it is promptly gratified4 ,even a desire for a particular article of food is likely to produce in the child a pronounced desire for the same thing4 ,it is well1 also1 for the mother carefully to note any longings which occur during the period of gestation1 as it may afford her an easy clue to the cause of the persistent crying of her child after its birth4 ,an instance may prove suggestive4 ,an ,israelitish mother1 before the birth of her first child1 smelled fried pork1 and longed for a taste of it1 but her religion forbade4 ,when the child was born he positively refused the breast or bottle4 ,the nurse asked3 ',what does this child want8' ,the mother replied3 ',i do not know of anything1 except pork4' ,the father at once got a strip of pork1 let the child suck it a few moments1 after which he was ready to nurse4 ,the father also related that notwithstanding the fact that the eating of pork was contrary to their religious teaching1 yet they had never been able to restrain their son1 who was then twenty-one years of age1 from eating it4 ,numerous instances are related in different books where young infants have moaned and cried continually1 and upon being given a taste of that for which the mother had longed prior to the birth of the child the infant at once became quiet1 and afterward seemed passive and contented4 ,we have read of a young mother who was a strict temperance woman1 but who had a longing for liquor4 ,her husband was also a temperance man1 but they decided that some be given the mother1 the same as any other medicine1 under the circumstances1 in order to relieve the longing and save the child4 ,after taking a dose of liquor the longing passed away1 and the child was normally born4 ,where the use of liquor is persisted in during the period of pregnancy1 many instances might be quoted where all the children in the family died drunkards4 ,there are some exceptional instances in which the children of intemperate fathers never seem possessed of a desire to use beverages4 ,it is possible that investigation might show1 in such instances1 that the mother had such an abhorrence of the effects of intemperance upon her husband that her constant longing that her children might live sober1 upright lives had resulted in securing for her a strictly temperance progeny4 ,dr4 ,dio ,lewis1 in his book entitled ,chastity1 when writing of prenatal influences1 says3 ,it is not carrying this subject too far to say that if any trade or profession seems particularly desirable1 the genius for success in that line may be given to the child by proper effort before its birth4 ,the mother whose mind persistently dwells upon any chosen subject during this nine months of gestation will surely see in her offspring the mark of her thought4 ,beauty of person1 strength of mind1 sweetness of disposition and holy aspiration may be assured to posterity by parents wise and loving enough to fulfill the laws which lead to the desired results4 ,dr4 ,napheys1 in writing upon the same subject1 says3 ,what a charming idea is this6 ,what an incentive1 to those about to become mothers1 to cultivate refinement1 high thoughts1 pure emotion1 elevated sentiments6 ,the character and disposition of the children oftentimes indicate the influences which surrounded the mother during the months prior to their birth4 ,the first-born is likely to resemble the father more closely than the children born later1 because the bride is apt to have her thoughts dwell much upon her young husband4 ,those born during a period of financial prosperity are likely to be liberal1 sometimes wasteful1 and1 possibly1 spendthrifts4 ,those born during the years when means are scarce and economy is necessary are likely to be economical1 and some even miserly4 ,prenatal influences are both subtle and potent1 and no amount of wealth or learning or influence can secure exemption from them4 ,no golden lock or jeweled hand can successfully hold the door against the admission of these influences4 ,medical science has done much to mend defects1 alleviate suffering1 patch up broken constitutions1 and effect great improvements1 but the greatest remains to be accomplished by remedying1 as far as possible1 the causes of these great evils by disseminating intelligence and inspiring parents and young people with such knowledge and purposes as will prepare the way for the raising up of a superior generation4 ,in this work the philanthropic physician occupies the place of greatest usefulness4 ,parents need to realize that the work of right-forming is greater than the work of reforming4 ,the philanthropist who labors for the reformation of adults does well2 those who give their energy and effort to the education and proper bringing up of children do better2 but those who intelligently devote themselves to the proper formation of the body1 character and disposition of those yet unborn do best of all4 ,we are thoroughly orthodox upon the subject of human depravity1 but we believe that persons may be so generated as to be the more easy subjects of regeneration4 ,or they may be so conceived and born in sin as manifestly to illustrate the declaration of the ,psalmist3 ,the wicked are estranged from the womb2 they go astray as soon as they are born4 ,before leaving this subject we desire to say a word which may be of comfort to any parents whose children may be born to them with some blemish or deformity4 ,god has so equipped the mother-heart and the father-heart that they should love and care for those who are unattractive1 or even unsightly4 ,we recently heard of a mother whose child was born with a harelip1 and1 fearing lest the sight of the child might have a depressing effect upon the mother in her enfeebled condition1 various excuses were made to keep the child out of her sight for a period of several days4 ,when evasions would avail no longer1 and the mother was shown her child1 after a momentary sense of disappointment she said3 ,well1 it is my child1 and ,i can love it just the same4 ,it is also an encouragement to know that what are ordinarily called birthmarks generally diminish1 and oftentimes disappear after a brief period4 ,dr4 ,russegger tells of a woman who in the seventh month of her pregnancy was bitten in the calf of her leg by a dog4 ,at the moment of the accident she was somewhat alarmed1 but neither then nor afterward had any fear that her child would be affected by the occurrence4 ,ten weeks later1 when her child was born1 there were marks upon the calf of its right leg resembling the impressions made by the dog's teeth upon the leg of the mother4 ,the impressions of two of the teeth disappeared in five weeks1 and the others gradually faded away4 ,similar results may be expected in most instances4 ,there is one branch of the prenatal subject which has reference to determining the sex before birth1 in which some persons1 because of a predominance of either male or female children in their families1 may naturally and properly have special interest4 ,the desire of some parents for male children in preference to female children is both wrong and unworthy of that proper ,christian regard in which woman should rightfully be held4 ,in heathen countries1 because of the hardships to which women are subjected1 the parents are often sad when a girl is born into the family2 but in ,christian lands1 where the influences of the gospel have given woman her proper place and rightful recognition1 the feeling which disparages the girl child1 or would lead to a preference for male children to the exclusion of female children1 is altogether wrong and unworthy of our ,christian civilization4 ,it will readily be seen1 from the effect of prenatal influences1 that it would not be desirable1 because of its effects upon the formation of the growing life within the mother's body1 that she should allow her mind to dwell largely upon these subjects1 or anxiously desire one sex in preference to another4 ,where such influences are exerted upon the embryo1 a male child with an effeminate1 girlish nature1 or a female child with a boyish1 masculine disposition1 might be the result4 ,while it is perfectly proper that parents should know what views are held by medical and scientific men upon these subjects1 it is not best that the mother's mind should be influenced by the consideration of them during the period of gestation4 ,the influences which control and determine sex are so subtle1 and have hitherto so thoroughly evaded human investigation and study1 that little or no reliance can be placed upon any of the theories4 ,of the vast number of theories1 many are ludicrous1 some are exact contraries of others1 a few seem plausible1 while none have been found infallible1 or even reliable4 ,some have held that the phases of the moon at the period of conception controlled and determined the sex of the offspring4 ,others have held that the season of the year when the ovum is produced and fertilized determines the result4 ,this theory makes it largely a question of temperature and climate4 ,the theory which has had many advocates is one that contends that the question of sex is largely determined by the question of food prior to conception and during the period of gestation4 ,by persons who hold this theory it is maintained that during periods of prosperity and plenty the number of girl children preponderate1 and that during periods of adversity1 and when food is less abundant1 the majority of those who are born are boys4 ,another theory which has been often repeated1 and as often disproved1 is that the sex of the offspring is determined by the side of the reproductive system engaged in the production of the ovum1 and of the sperm2 that if the generative glands upon the right side of the body of the mother and of the father are engaged1 a male child is the result2 but if the left sides are engaged1 the result is a girl4 ,this theory maintains that the ovum which proceeds from the right ovary results in the formation of the body of a male child1 while those that proceed from the left ovary result in the production of a female child4 ,that this theory is not reliable has often been demonstrated in instances where the right or the left ovary of the woman has been removed by surgical operation1 and she has subsequently become the mother both of male and of female offspring4 ,the same is true with regard to fathers who have1 by accident or disease1 lost one of the testes1 and have subsequently become the fathers of both boys and girls4 ,another theory which has received considerable attention is that the ova1 liberated from month to month1 alternate in gender4 ,that one month the ovum is of that character which would result in the production of a male child1 and the succeeding month of such a nature as would result in the production of a female child4 ,some hold that the respective ages of the parents have something to do with determining the question of the sex of their offspring2 that where the father is older than the mother1 female children are likely to predominate4 ,some hold that the superior vitality of the father1 or of the mother1 will result in the production of sex of their own kind4 ,some persons who have given attention and study to this subject teach exactly the reverse of these two theories4 ,the theory which has been largely accepted by intelligent medical authorities is that children conceived in from two to six days after the cessation of the menses are generally girls1 and that those conceived in from nine to twelve days after the cessation of the menses are boys--or1 in other words1 that those begotten in the earlier period after the cessation of the monthly period of the mother are likely to be girls1 and those begotten in the later period are likely to be boys4 ,there are many theories1 some of which seem altogether fanciful1 if not silly--such as that the sex of the child is determined by the side of the bed upon which the father sleeps1 whether the bed is situated so that the persons lie with their heads toward the north or some other point of the compass4 ,knowing the natural curiosity of not a few persons upon such subjects1 and the abnormal desire of some parents for children of one or the other sex1 there are not a few impostors who offer to furnish information upon these subjects at a costly price4 ,the methods proposed are sometimes innocent1 and may be without injury1 while in many other instances the suggestions are debasing1 likely to produce injurious results1 and never reliable4 ,while the desired sex may be determined in harmony with natural laws1 the parents may give all the credit to the impostor1 if ,nature has brought them a child of the sex they have desired4 ,it would scarcely seem necessary to advise intelligent people against the impositions of such ignorant pretenders4 ,the entire subject has been wrapped in a mystery hitherto impenetrable4 ,no investigation has yet been able to secure from ,nature her secret concerning this matter4 ,it is very possible that the ,creator of mankind has purposely placed this knowledge beyond human reach1 and left the regulation of this important matter wholly to ,his own infinite decrees4 ,,chapter ,,xix4 ,,childhood4 ,while it is possibly true that the most potent molding influences may be exerted prior to the birth of the child1 yet where parents have lacked the intelligence to avail themselves of the largest and best results in this respect1 or discover defects after their children are born1 there still remains an opportunity for them4 ,they can in some measure retrieve lost opportunities1 correct defects1 supply deficiencies1 and even accomplish wonderful results in the training and development of their children4 ,as the twig is bent the tree is inclined4 ,if the twig is crooked1 if taken very early it may be straightened2 but it is far better that the twig should be straight at first1 and without the necessity of being straightened4 ,it is better that children should be born without defects1 rather than that there should be the necessity of correcting these mistakes2 but as a straight twig may be bent to its permanent and incurable injury1 so a child1 properly nurtured and well-born1 may be injured or totally ruined1 mentally1 morally or physically1 by deficient or defective training during its childhood4 ,there are many excellent books upon the nurture and training of children1 and young parents would do well to avail themselves of the advantages and excellent suggestions afforded by such publications4 ,there are also many excellent periodicals for young parents1 such as ,the ,new ,crusade1 ,trained ,motherhood1 ,the ,mothers' ,journal1 and others1 which are very valuable and almost indispensable4 ,from such books and periodicals young parents can obtain the best of suggestions with regard to the early care1 proper nurture and careful training of their little ones4 ,we cannot now dwell upon any of the many important phases of child-training4 ,space only affords opportunity to emphasize some things which seem to us of special importance and likely to be overlooked4 ,many young parents think that the training of their children will be a matter for consideration when they are three or four years old4 ,no more serious mistake can possibly be made4 ,the first three months will determine the babyhood1 and the first two years the childhood1 and the childhood will determine the manhood or womanhood4 ,the first two years may almost be said to determine both the character and the destiny of the child for all time to come4 ,the child that is not properly taught during the first two years is likely to remain untaught1 undisciplined1 uncontrolled1 and oftentimes uncontrollable1 for the remainder of its childhood and throughout its entire life4 ,the questions of the hours of feeding1 the hours for sleep2 whether the child is to be rocked1 or carried when it whimpers--all these are questions of the utmost importance from the very beginning4 ,many a mother has been enslaved for life because of the mistakes which she made during the first few weeks after her child was born4 ,parents should protect their children against the silly and dangerous habit of being promiscuously kissed4 ,the prevalent custom of kissing babies and children is not only silly upon the part of those who do it1 but a nuisance to the child1 and in many instances detrimental to the health of the child4 ,where promiscuous kissing is allowed1 persons with offensive breath1 consumptive tendencies1 contagious and even loathsome diseases1 may unintentionally inflict irreparable wrong upon both the child and its parents4 ,only the other day we read in a medical journal where a young child of poor parents who kept a boarding-house was kissed by one of the boarders1 who communicated to the child one of the most loathsome of diseases4 ,such dangers exist not only among the poor1 but are perhaps even more prevalent among the affluent1 in the circle of whose acquaintances there is likely to be some well-dressed but vicious and corrupt individual4 ,let no care or proper expense be spared in making the influences which are exerted in the nursery both attractive and potent4 ,young parents should be their children's best playfellows4 ,there should be a proper amount of games1 carefully-selected amusements1 books1 papers1 pictures chosen with scrupulous care1 and mother and mother's influence in the midst of them all4 ,what the child needs pre-eminently above playthings1 books1 clothes1 and every other earthly thing1 is the presence and influence of mother4 ,no other woman in the world can take her place4 ,many mothers farm their children out to nurses1 and then give themselves to household duties1 social pleasures1 or possibly to duties which may be important in themselves1 but which1 after all1 can only be secondary to the discharge of the all-important duties of motherhood4 ,many otherwise excellent women find the nursery a prison1 and the care of their own children irksome1 simply because they have a perverted mother-sense4 ,the mother should have proper relief from the care of her children1 but if she has the true mother-heart the companionship of her children will be the society which she will prefer above that of all others4 ,where servants are necessary1 and such cases do exist1 parents should exercise the utmost caution in guarding the purity of their children4 ,hundreds1 and we can properly say thousands1 of children are annually wronged and ruined by the vices practiced upon them by servants4 ,this is an especial danger where nurses and servants are permitted to undress the child and put it to bed at night4 ,many a nurse who is anxious to quiet her little charge1 that it may fall asleep promptly1 is guilty of exciting sensations which quiet the child and prevent its crying1 but which inflict upon the nervous system of an infant results of the most far-reaching character4 ,mothers are very apt to be unsuspecting in these matters1 and therefore it is highly important that the attention of fathers should be called to this grave danger4 ,the child should also be protected against being frightened1 being made afraid in the dark1 told of spooks1 bugaboos1 the old beggar-man and the police coming for them4 ,remember1 also1 that in this most impressible period of character-formation servants and others can do the child great injury by teaching it to be deceitful and untruthful4 ,it is at this age1 also1 that they learn incorrect and ungrammatical forms of expression2 and if the nurse-girl is ignorant and silly1 and is permitted to assemble upon the streets or in the park1 with others of her age1 while tending the child1 a bright child of two or three years will pick up more coarseness and more undesirable information concerning human depravity than can be expunged from its mind by subsequent months and years of careful training4 ,it is important to enjoin upon parents the duty of guarding their children against secret vice4 ,parents are very apt to think that while other children might be guilty of such sins1 their own children are too innocent and too pure to fall into such vices4 ,we have known mothers to hold up their hands in holy horror at such a suggestion1 but when the more cautious fathers have watched their children1 they have discovered that even at the age of five and six their little boys have learned from older playmates1 impure companions1 degraded servants1 or by sliding down the balustrade1 or in some other incidental way1 the terrible habit of self-pollution4 ,young children cannot be too carefully guarded in this important matter4 ,where infants exhibit a tendency to handle their private parts1 great care should be given to the cleanliness of those parts1 and1 if continued1 the family physician should be consulted1 to see whether circumcision is not necessary to remove local irritation and inflammation4 ,this is found to be necessary in many instances4 ,circumcision was an important sanitary regulation among the ,israelites1 is a simple surgical operation which is most beneficial in its results1 and very important in many instances4 ,when your children are old enough to ask honest questions1 see that1 in reply1 they receive an honest answer4 ,if a child is intelligent and thoughtful1 one of the earliest inquiries will be concerning the origin of life4 ,when a little one is born into your own or another household1 it is only natural and proper that intelligent children should inquire where it came from4 ,there should be no fables about babies being brought by doctors1 or being found under cabbage-leaves1 or taken from hollow stumps in the woods1 for an intelligent and altogether satisfactory answer can be given to an intelligent child of six or seven years1 and even younger4 ,another has aptly and truthfully said3 ,ignorance is a deadly sin4 ,the truth properly told has never yet harmed a child2 silence1 false modesty and mystery have corrupted the souls and bodies of untold millions4 ,where parents are intelligent upon this subject1 and know how to present these matters properly to the thought of their children1 we have never heard of a child who asked an embarrassing question1 nor have we known of anything but the most satisfactory and blessed results4 ,parents will find beautiful and helpful suggestions in ,teaching ,truth and ,child ,confidence ,rewarded1 two booklets by ,mary ,wood-,allen1 ,m4,d42 and it was also to aid parents in these matters that ,what a ,young ,boy ,ought to ,know and ,what a ,young ,girl ,ought to ,know were written4 ,parents should read these books and learn how to communicate the information1 either in conversation or by reading to the child such portions as are suited to its needs4 ,remember that the disposition which prompts your child to keep an unclean thing a secret from you will also incline the child to refrain from conversation upon a pure matter which is to be a secret between parent and child4 ,if you allow others to teach your child sacred truths in an unhallowed way1 if you decline to give your children an honest answer to their honest and reasonable inquiries1 they will secure in its degrading form1 from vicious companions or ignorant servants1 the information they seek4 ,it is infinitely easier to keep the mind of the child pure than to purify it after it has been polluted4 ,when corrupting thoughts and degrading pictures have been painted upon the canvas of the mind1 they can never be totally obliterated4 ,when your child approaches the age of puberty1 the little boy becomes awkward1 his voice breaks1 the down starts upon his upper lip1 he becomes bashful and shrinking4 ,at that trying period1 when so many take special pleasure in taunting and tantalizing--at that period of special stress when the boy and the girl pre-eminently need tenderness--see to it that your children are protected against the wrongs to which others are subjected4 ,this is the period in the life of the boy and the girl when they are not able to understand themselves or to interpret life to their own satisfaction1 and then it is that they should be made intelligent upon the conditions which attend the transition from childhood1 and indicate the approach of manhood and womanhood4 ,it is then that the books in the series for boys and girls will be found especially indispensable1 and in due time1 according to the judgment of the parents1 should be followed by the book addressed to young men or to young women4 ,look carefully after the education of your children4 ,remember that the picture-book1 the nursery-song1 the evening prayer1 the family music1 the walk1 the ride1 the hasty word1 the thoughtful counsel1 are all helping to educate your child4 ,know what books they read4 ,be sure that in the public schools they sit under the instruction of no one who insinuates doubt or destroys the careful and sacred instruction of the home4 ,when evening comes and evil lurks for the destruction of the young1 gather your children about you in your home4 ,make home attractive to them4 ,let it be the centre and source of that which is to inspire them to noble manhood and exalted womanhood4 ,regard nothing as expensive which will contribute to make your children pure and good and great4 ,that your children may be guarded against the errors which come from sleeping with other children1 neither at home nor elsewhere should they share their beds with others4 ,look well to the physical culture of your children4 ,if physical culture has no place in your school1 see that the attention of directors and teachers is called to this important matter4 ,encourage your children to use the gymnasium of the ,young ,men's ,christian ,association1 or some other organization that similarly maintains the strictest purity and the highest moral standards4 ,teach or have your children taught those forms of gymnastics that require no appurtenances2 supply them with a pair of dumb-bells weighing a pound or two each4 ,furnish the nursery with some ,exerciser of approved pattern1 with preference for one which can be adjusted to the needs of either adults or children4 ,encourage them in out-of-door sports2 see that their sleeping-rooms are well ventilated2 encourage them to desire to be strong and well4 ,teach them to govern their appetites2 regulate their lives so as to secure the best health and the best physical and intellectual powers4 ,in the culture of the intellectual and the physical do not forget the moral training of your children4 ,among the books and the papers1 see that there is a good supply of those of a religious character4 ,teach your children to want right things1 and to have pleasure in doing good4 ,make a faithful use of the ,sunday-school and of the ,church4 ,let their place in the family pew from early childhood be regularly filled2 provide them with a hymnbook1 see that they have something for the collection1 teach them to be reverent4 ,if1 in early life1 your children are religiously inclined1 do not make the fatal mistake of standing between them and their union with the ,church4 ,do not say3 ,oh6 they are too young fully to understand what it all means4 ,who is old enough to understand all the mysteries of ,divine grace8 ,it is enough for us to know that ,jesus welcomes and saves the children1 as well as older people4 ,polycarp was converted at nine years of age2 ,matthew ,henry at eleven2 ,president ,edwards at seven2 ,dr4 ,watts at nine2 ,bishop ,hall at seven1 and ,robert ,hall at twelve4 ,and now we have come to the place where author and reader must part4 ,taking your hand in a final grasp1 we can only look into your face and assure you that if1 as a young husband1 you rightly estimate the sacredness of marriage2 if you bring to it that purity1 honor and sanctity which you rightly expect upon the part of your wife2 if you rightly use its privileges1 and are ready to exercise such personal restraints as shall secure to both parties the largest present pleasure and permanent happiness1 you will then obtain the benediction and blessings which marriage and home and parentage have to bestow4 ,,the ,,end4 ,,offices ,,of ,,publication ,,in ,,the ,,united ,,states ,,the ,,vir ,,publishing ,,company #bbcg ,,land ,,title ,,building ,,philadelphia1 ,,pa4 ,,in ,,england ,,the ,,vir ,,publishing ,,company #g ,,imperial ,,arcade1 ,,ludgate ,,circus ,,london1 ,e4 ,c4 ,,in ,,canada ,,william ,,briggs #bi-cc ,,richmond ,,street ,,west ,,toronto1 ,,ontario ,illustration3 ,commendations from ,eminent ,men and ,women ,what a ,young ,husband ,ought to ,know ,,what ,,eminent ,,people ,,in ,,america ,,say4 ,illustration3 ,,charles ,m4 ,,sheldon1 ,d4,d4 ,author of ,in ,his ,steps1 ,crucifixion of ,philip ,strong1 ,my ,brother's ,keeper1 etc41 etc41 ,topeka1 ,kans4 ,i take pleasure in adding my word of commendation for the spirit and purpose of your book1 ',what a ,young ,husband ,ought to ,know1' which ,i have received and read4 ,i believe the book will do great good1 and ,i hope its message may be used for the bettering of the homes of the world4 ,,what ,,eminent ,,people ,,in ,,england ,,say4 ,illustration3 ,,rev4 ,f4 ,b4 ,,meyer1 ,b4,a4 ,minister of ,christ ,church1 ,westminster1 ,london1 ,author of ,israel1 ,a ,prince with ,god1 ,elijah3 ,tried by ,fire1 ,the ,bells of ,is1 etc41 etc4 ,the questions which are dealt with in the ',self and ,sex ,series' of books are always being asked1 and if the answer is not forthcoming from pure and wise lips it will be obtained through vicious and empirical channels4 ,i therefore greatly commend this series of manuals1 which are written lucidly and purely1 and will afford the necessary information without pandering to unholy and sensual passion4 ,there has been1 in my judgment1 too much reticence on the whole of this subject1 and nameless sins have originated in ignorance or in the directions given to young life by vicious men4 ,i should like to see a wide and judicious distribution of this literature among ,christian circles4 ,,what ,,eminent ,,people ,,in ,,america ,,say4 ,illustration3 ,,hon4 ,s4 ,m4 ,,jones4 ,mayor of ,toledo1 ,ohio4 ,i have taken the time out of a very hurried week to look over your book1 ',what a ,young ,husband ,ought to ,know1' and it seems to me that it is a work that has been prepared with great care and discrimination4 ,i have often thought that this work is one that some heart inspired by love of humanity should undertake4 ,i am glad to say that my study of it indicates that you have been led by a pure love for your kind to write one of the most helpful and valuable books that it has been my privilege to see in many days4 ,,what ,,eminent ,,people ,,in ,,america ,,say4 ,illustration3 ,,edward ,,bok4 ,editor of the ,ladies' ,home ,journal4 ,you have accomplished in doing1 in your little book1 ',what a ,young ,husband ,ought to ,know1' exactly what you have set out to do1 it seems to me1 and ,i know of no book of its kind which exhales to the same degree1 and so unerringly1 the candid1 pure and exalted purpose of the writer4 ,it is an honest little book1 and every young married man who reads it cannot fail to be helped by it1 and helped materially4 ,there are books1 three times the size1 which do not begin to have one-third of the common sense in them that your little book has4 ,,what ,,eminent ,,people ,,in ,,america ,,say4 ,illustration3 ,,mrs4 ,,helen ,,campbell4 ,dean of the ,department of ,household ,economics1 ,kansas ,state ,agricultural ,college2 author of ,prisoners of ,poverty1 ,some ,passages in the ,life of ,dr4 ,martha ,scarborough1 etc41 etc4 ,it meets the strongest need for the mass of young men1 who have failed most of them1 to receive the training outlined in the books for boys--who are ignorant utterly as to just their own degree of responsibility1 and who will find in your careful statement of the problem as a whole1 not only invaluable direction1 but a guarantee of healthier and happier life for both husband and wife4 ,,what ,,eminent ,,people ,,in ,,america ,,say4 ,illustration3 ,,mrs4 ,,may ,,wright ,,sewall4 ,president of the ,girls' ,classical ,school2 ,president of the ,international ,council of ,women4 ,i feel sure that the book which you have had the privilege to write must do every young man good who reads it4 ,to inculcate in society this sound view that knowledge upon these subjects is not only compatible with delicacy1 but requisite to it1 is one of the most important contemporary duties of teachers1 whether in the pulpit1 on the rostrum1 in the sanctum1 or in the class-room4 ,,what ,,eminent ,,people ,,in ,,america ,,say4 ,illustration3 ,,herrick ,,johnson1 ,d4,d41 ,,ll4,d4 ,professor in ,mc,cormick ,theological ,seminary1 ,chicago4 ,author of ,plain ,talks about the ,theatre1 ,revivals1 ,their ,place and ,power1 ,christianity's ,challenge1 etc4 ,i have just laid down your book1 ',what a ,young ,husband ,ought to ,know1' after a very interested perusal of it4 ,the rare discrimination and delicate sense displayed in the handling of your theme are especially commendable4 ,to say a bold courageous thing on a confessedly delicate subject1 without any offence to true modesty1 is a fine achievement4 ,all manhood and womanhood ought to thank you4 ,,what ,,eminent ,,people ,,in ,,america ,,say4 ,illustration3 ,,bishop ,,john ,h4 ,,vincent1 ,d4,d41 ,,ll4,d4 ,chancellor of the ,chautauqua ,literary and ,scientific ,circle2 ,author of ,sunday ,school ,institutes and ,normal ,classes1 ,the ,church ,school and ,its ,officers1 etc4 ,in a straightforward1 clean1 kind1 clear and convincing way you discuss the ',young ,husband' question4 ,a copy ought to go with every marriage certificate4 ,the book is timely and full of wisdom4 ,,what ,,eminent ,,people ,,in ,,america ,,say4 ,illustration3 ,,francis ,e4 ,,clarke1 ,d4,d4 ,founder of the ,young ,people's ,society of ,christian ,endeavor1 and ,president of the ,united ,society4 ,i regard ,dr4 ,stall's latest book as equal to the others in its delicate but plain-spoken chapters concerning the facts the men to whom it is addressed ought to know4 ,i hope it will have a wide circulation4 ,,what ,,eminent ,,people ,,in ,,america ,,say4 ,illustration3 ,,josiah ,,strong1 ,d4,d4 ,president of the ,league for ,social ,service2 ,author of ,our ,country1 ,new ,era1 ,the ,twentieth ,century ,city1 etc4 ',what a ,young ,husband ,ought to ,know1' like the earlier books of the series1 is judicious in its selection of topics and wise in its treatment of them4 ,your admirable work will enable many young husbands to learn what they ought to know without paying the high tuition fee exacted in the school of experience4 ,,what ,,eminent ,,people ,,in ,,america ,,say4 ,illustration3 ,,mrs4 ,,frances ,,sheldon ,,bolton4 ,editor of ,mothers' ,journal2 ,author of ,baby and ,other ,books4 ,what a vast amount of suffering and wretchedness would be prevented1 and how many happy homes could be saved1 if all young men before they are married would read and profit by ,dr4 ,sylvanus ,stall's book1 entitled ',what a ,young ,husband ,ought to ,know4' ,,what ,,eminent ,,people ,,in ,,america ,,say4 ,illustration3 ,,emily ,s4 ,,bouton4 ,author of ,health and ,beauty1 ,social ,etiquette1 ,house and ,domestic ,decorations1 ,life's ,gateways and ,how to ,win ,real ,success1 etc4 ,it is much to find a writer who may touch upon these subjects with a strong1 firm1 true1 and yet delicate pen2 and you are doing good service to humanity by such work4 ,i am indeed glad to know that your former works have been so highly commended1 and where such commendation will do great good4 ,,rev4 ,,newell ,,dwight ,,hillis4 ,pastor of ,plymouth ,church1 ,brooklyn1 ,n4 ,y41 and author of ,the ,investment of ,influence1 ,a ,man's ,value to ,society1 etc4 ,i have read your book with care and interest4 ,it is a wholesome and helpful contribution to a most difficult subject1 and its reading will help to make the ,american home happier and more safely guarded4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,howard ,a4 ,,kelly1 ,m4,d4 ,professor of ,gynecology and ,obstetrics ,johns ,hopkins ,university1 ,baltimore1 ,md4 ,the book ',what a ,young ,husband ,ought to ,know' can be heartily recommended4 ,it handles in a plain but delicate and reverential manner subjects that should be thoroughly understood by every adult man1 but which often are first learned by him through bitter experience4 ,if the knowledge contained in it were more generally diffused1 many sad duties left for the physician would become unnecessary4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,lemuel ,,bolton ,,bangs1 ,m4,d4 ,professor ,genito-,urinary ,surgery in the ,n4 ,y4 ,post-,graduate ,medical ,school2 ,consulting ,surgeon to ,st4 ,luke's ,hospital and to the ,methodist ,episcopal ,hospital1 ,brooklyn2 ,surgeon to the ,city ,hospital1 ,n4 ,y4 ,i have recommended it to a good many old as well as 'young' husbands1 and am satisfied of its usefulness to them4 ,i shall continue to commend it1 and also the other books of the series4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,eugene ,h4 ,,porter1 ,m4,a41 ,m4,d4 ,professor ,materia ,medica1 ,new ,york ,hom,aopathic ,medical ,college2 ,professor ,diseases of ,stomach and ,liver1 ,metropolitan ,post-,graduate ,school2 ,author of numerous standard medical works2 ,editor of ,north ,american ,journal of ,hom,aopathy4 ,your new book1 ',what a ,young ,husband ,ought to ,know1' should be in the hands of every young man who contemplates marriage4 ,the work1 while thoroughly refined in style and treatment1 is vigorous and direct in its teaching and application of essential truths4 ,purity1 happiness and health will be with those who heed its teachings4 ,it is a sound and practical volume1 and deserves a wide circulation4 99 99 99 99 99 ,h ,j4 ,,boldt1 ,m4,d4 ,professor of ,gyn,acology1 ,new ,york ,post-,graduate ,medical ,school and ,hospital2 ,gyn,acologist to ,st4 ,mark's ,hospital2 ,gyn,acologist to the ,german ,poliklinik4 ,there is nothing in the book which every man entering upon such new duty in life should not know4 ,i personally feel that its possession1 and following it in practice by young husbands1 would be conducive to a purer life and more happiness4 ,i shall most cheerfully commend it whenever an opportunity presents itself4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,oliver ,,edward ,,janney1 ,m4,d4 ,the ,southern ,hom,aopathic ,medical ,college1 ,baltimore1 ,md4 ,if it could be placed in the hands of prospective husbands a vast amount of unhappiness and disease would be avoided1 and the well-being of the race advanced4 ,it is not wickedness1 but ignorance that wrecks lives on the threshold of marriage1 and this book teaches4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,paul ,f4 ,,munde1 ,m4,d41 ,,ll4,d4 ,professor of ,gyn,acology at the ,new ,york ,polyclinic and at ,dartmouth ,college2 ,gyn,acologist to ,mount ,sinai ,hospital4 ,i have looked through your book1 entitled1 ',what a ,young ,husband ,ought to ,know1' and am impelled by its contents and the careful and delicate manner in which you endeavor to communicate to a man about to enter the married state1 'what ,,every young husband ought to know1' if he would ensure his marital happiness and save his wife as much as possible from the many afflictions unfortunately not always separable from that state4 ,i am impelled1 ,i repeat1 to depart from my custom of refusing to endorse semi-medical publications intended for the lay-reader4 ,your previous work on ',what a ,young ,man ,ought to ,know1' has once before induced me to commit the same departure1 and ,i feel that ,i am but adding my humble share toward the good work which ,i think you are conscientiously endeavoring to perform1 in repeating substantially the commendation of the former book as applied to the present4 ,pure ,books on ,avoided ,subjects ,books for ,men ,by ,sylvanus ,stall1 ,d4 ,d4 ,what a ,young ,boy ,ought to ,know4 ,what a ,young ,man ,ought to ,know4 ,what a ,young ,husband ,ought to ,know4 ,what a ,man of #de ,ought to ,know4 ,books for ,women ,by ,mrs4 ,mary ,wood-,allen1 ,m4,d41 ,and ,mrs4 ,emma ,f4 ,a4 ,drake1 ,m4,d4 ,what a ,young ,girl ,ought to ,know4 ,what a ,young ,woman ,ought to ,know4 ,what a ,young ,wife ,ought to ,know4 ,what a ,woman of #de ,ought to ,know4 ,,price ,,and ,,binding ,the books are issued in uniform size and but one style of binding1 and sell in ,america at #a1 in ,great ,britain at #ds41 net1 per copy1 post free1 whether sold singly or in sets4 ,,published ,,by ,,in ,,the ,,united ,,states ,,the ,,vir ,,publishing ,,company #bbcg ,land ,title ,building ,philadelphia ,,in ,,england ,,the ,,vir ,,publishing ,,company #g ,imperial ,arcade1 ,ludgate ,circus1 ,london1 ,e4,c4 ,,in ,,canada ,,william ,,briggs #bi-cc ,richmond ,street ,west ,toronto1 ,ontario ,what a ,young ,boy ,ought to ,know4 ,,by ,,sylvanus ,,stall1 ,d4 ,d4 ,condensed ,table of ,contents ,,part ,i ,god's purpose in endowing plants1 animals and man with reproductive power--,the question of the origin of life a natural and proper one--,difference between creating and making--,how ,god now creates or reproduces the flowers1 insects1 fishes and animals--,the mamma and papa plants and the baby plants--,the mamma and papa nature in the stalk of corn--,the two natures united in the same flower--,separated in other plants--,the office of the wind and insects in fertilizing the flowers--,the mamma and papa natures united in the same oyster--,the life of the baby oyster--,the two natures separated in the fishes--,the eggs and the baby fishes--,how seeds are made to grow and how eggs are hatched--,the beautiful lives of parent birds--,the bird's nest1 the eggs and the baby birds--,why the eggs of animals may not be exposed in a nest--,the nest which ,god has prepared for them--,the hatching of the egg or the birth of the animal--,the creation of ,adam and ,eve--,god created man with power similar to his creative power--,the purity of parentage4 ,,part ,,ii ,the manner in which the reproductive organs are injured in boys by abuse--,comparative anatomy1 or points of resemblance between bodies of birds1 animals and man--,man the only animal with a perfect hand--,with the hand he constructs1 builds and blesses--,with the hand he smites1 slays and injures others1 and degrades himself4 ,,part ,,iii ,the consequences in boys of the abuse of the reproductive organs--,need of proper information--,the moral effects first to manifest themselves--,how secret sin affects the character of boys--,effects upon the body and the nerves--,effects upon the brain and mind--,the physical effects that follow4 ,,parts ,,iv and ,v ,how boys may preserve their bodies in purity and strength--,our duty to aid others to avoid pernicious habits1 and to retain or regain their purity and strength4 ,,parts ,,vi and ,,vii ,how purity and strength may be measurably regained--,the age of adolescence or puberty and its attendant changes--,its significance and its dangers4 ,price1 #a4jj net1 post free #ds4 ,what a ,young ,boy ,ought to ,know ,for ,boys under ,sixteen ,years of ,age ,,what ,,eminent ,,people ,,say ,theodore ,l4 ,cuyler1 ,d4,d4 ',what a ,young ,boy ,ought to ,know' ought to be in every home where there is a boy4 ,lady ,henry ,somerset ,calculated to do an immense amount of good4 ,i sincerely hope it may find its way to many homes4 ,joseph ,cook1 ,d4,d41 ,,ll4,d4 ,it is everywhere suggestive1 inspiring and strategic in a degree1 as ,i think1 not hitherto matched in literature of its class4 ,charles ,l4 ,thompson1 ,d4,d4 ,why was not this book written centuries ago8 ,anthony ,comstock ,it lifts the mind and thoughts upon a high and lofty plane upon delicate subjects4 ,edward ,w4 ,bok ,it has appealed to me in a way which no other book of its kind has4 ,bishop ,john ,h4 ,vincent1 ,d4,d41 ,,ll4,d4 ,you have handled with great delicacy and wisdom an exceedingly difficult subject4 ,john ,willis ,baer ,i feel confident that it can do great good1 and ,i mean that my boys shall have the contents placed before them4 ,mrs4 ,mary ,a4 ,livermore1 ,,ll4,d4 ,full of physiological truths1 which all children ought to know1 at a proper age2 will be read by boys without awakening a prurient thought4 ,josiah ,strong1 ,d4,d4 ,a foolish and culpable silence on the part of most parents leaves their children to learn1 too often from vicious companions1 sacred truth in an unhallowed way4 ,what a ,young ,man ,ought to ,know4 ,,by ,,sylvanus ,,stall1 ,d4 ,d4 ,condensed ,table of ,contents ,,strength ,the value of physical strength--the weak man handicapped--,threefold nature of man--,relation of the physical1 intellectual and moral--,impair one1 you injure all--,the physical foundation--,man's strong sexual nature--,sexuality strongly marked in all great men--,importance of manly mastery of sexual nature--,personal purity--,only one moral standard for men and women4 ,,weakness ,inherited weakness--,how overcome--,acquired weakness--,how produced--,the effects of secret vice--,what should be done--,losses in sleep--,when to consult a physician--,danger from quacks and charlatans--,what are normal and abnormal losses--,medical authorities quoted--,subject illustrated--,important directions4 ,,social ,,vice ,alarming ignorance concerning the diseases which accompany vice--,why physicians do not acquaint their patients with the nature of these diseases--,the prevalence--,all forms of venereal diseases leave terrible results--,character and consequences of gonorrh,aa--,later complications--,chordee1 stricture1 blindness1 etc4--,how healthy brides become early and permanent invalids--,chancroid and chancre--,the primary1 secondary and tertiary forms of syphilis--,the beginning1 progress and end--,can it ever be cured--,may the man ever marry--,effects upon wife and children4 ,,the ,,reproductive ,,organs ,their purpose and prostitution--,marriage a great blessing--,difference between creation and procreation--,all life from the seed or the egg--,the reproduction of plants1 fishes1 birds and animals contrasted--,an interesting study4 ,,man',s ,,relation ,,to ,,woman ,importance of a right relation to women--,the nature of marriage--,the friends and foes of marriage--,who should not marry--,the selection of a wife--,some general rules--,importance of great caution--,causes of unhappiness in married life--,early and late marriages4 ,,hindrances ,,and ,,helps ,the choice of companions1 books1 pictures1 amusements1 recreations--,liquors and tobacco--,self-mastery--,right aim in life--,industry1 early rising--,the influence of an ennobling affection--,education--,the ,sabbath1 the ,church and the ,bible4 ,price #a4jj net1 per copy1 post free #ds4 ,what a ,young ,man ,ought to ,know4 ,what ,eminent ,people ,say3 ,francis ,e4 ,clark1 ,d4 ,d4 ,of exceeding value to every youth just entering upon manhood4 ,it is written reverently but very plainly1 and ,i believe will save a multitude of young men from evils unspeakable4 ,john ,clifford1 ,d4 ,d4 ,one of the best books for dawning manhood that has fallen into my hands4 ,it goes to the roots of human living4 ,it is thoroughly manly4 ,dr4 ,stall has laid the rising generation under an immense obligation4 ,j4 ,wilbur ,chapman1 ,d4 ,d4 ,i bear willing testimony that ,i believe this book ought to be in the hands of every young man in this country4 ,paul ,f4 ,munde1 ,m4 ,d41 ,,ll4 ,d4 ,professor of ,gyn,acology in the ,new ,york ,polyclinic and at ,dartmouth ,college1 says3 ,i most heartily commend not only the principle but the execution of what it aims to teach4 ,eugene ,h4 ,porter1 ,m4 ,d41 ,,ll4 ,d4 ,president of the ,homeopathic ,medical ,society of the ,state of ,new ,york2 ,professor ,materia ,medica1 ,new ,york ,homeopathic ,medical ,college1 etc41 says3 ,we should especially commend the volume for its reliability in statement1 and1 as a medical man1 ,i highly indorse the medical teachings of the book4 ,it is trustworthy and sound4 ,it is a work which should be in the hands of every young man4 ,what a ,man of ,forty-five ,ought to ,know4 ,,by ,,sylvanus ,,stall1 ,d4 ,d4 ,condensed ,table of ,contents ,,part ,i ,,what ,,he ,,ought ,,to ,,know ,,concerning ,,himself ,prevalent ignorance concerning physical changes in men of middle-life--,sad results of such ignorance--,reasons for change--,evidences of these changes--,husband and wife constitute a reproductive unit--,the two natures responsive in activity and repose--,somewhat similar changes in both--,the age at which climacteric or change of life occurs in men--,climacteric and adolescence contrasted--,the testimony of medical men to the fact--,only young men need the testimonials of authorities--,old men know it--,compensations which follow the sexual hush--,physical and mental effects--,changes more gradual than in women--,many men intellectually at their best after sexual hush--,to them time and experience open their richest treasures--,moderation in all things enjoined--,sexual moderation emphasized--,virility1 how destroyed1 how preserved--,effects of exercise1 food1 stimulants1 sleep1 employment1 etc4--,functional disorders--,benefit of intelligence--,enlargement of the prostate gland--,manifestations1 cause and precautionary measures--,the marriage of men of middle life--,physical unfitness and effects--,rights of the unborn--,the years beyond--,the man at forty determines what the man at eighty shall be--,value of purpose to keep strong and bright--,examples4 ,,part ,,ii ,,what ,,he ,,ought ,,to ,,know ,,concerning ,,his ,,wife ,reproduction the primal purpose of marriage--,attractive and repellent periods in life of woman--,climacteric or change of life the most repellent period--,disappearance of menstruation only an outward manifestation--,the phenomenon explained--,reasons for change made plain--,not a period of stress for all women--,how to meet the menopause--,occupation1 diet1 fresh air1 exercise1 sleep1 companionship1 sexual repose1 etc41 etc4--,mortality and insanity greater among men--,the aches and ills which attend the menopause--,aversion to husband1 children and friends--,physical changes which attend and follow change of life in women--,modified sexual nature--,growths--,mental changes and conditions--,need of intelligence upon the part of husband and others4 ,price #a4jj net1 post free #ds4 ,what a ,man of ,forty-five ,ought to ,know ,,praised ,,by ,,the ,,press ,we do not hesitate to recommend4--,experience4 ,a reliable and instructive guide in sexual matters and yet pure and chaste in style4--,journal of ,dermatology4 ,information of vital importance4--,pittsburgh ,christian ,advocate4 ,written in an honest1 frank1 and fearless way4--,christian ,standard4 ,it is a clean book which one should sit down to alone4--,the ,evangelist4 ,these books deserve to be circulated by the million4--,leslie's ,weekly4 ,to many men the guidance of this book will be a timely benediction4--,chicago ,appeal4 ,the utterance of one who has an accurate knowledge of men4--,brooklyn ,citizen4 ,it is a helpful book and in all important particulars sound in its medical statements4--,baltimore ,sun4 ,this book is recommendable not only to the intelligent layman to read himself and hand to others1 but also to the physician1 who ought to welcome it as a means to refresh an important part of his physiologic knowledge4--,alkaloidal ,clinic4 ,a man who is a fool at forty-five 7and there are many of them7 is pretty hard to manage4 ,there are certain things which he ought to know without being told1 but it is difficult to teach him these things4 ,he needs reasoning with and plain talking to4 ,this book does it in a healthy1 elevating manner4 ,these cases are often very troublesome to the physician4 ,it would be well to have this book handy to lend to such patients4 ,this course will help the physician to manage his patient and help the patient4 ,this book will do much good4 ,there has been a need for just such a work4--,medical ,world4 ,what a ,young ,girl ,ought to ,know4 ,,by ,,mrs4 ,,mary ,,wood-,,allen1 ,m4 ,d4 ,condensed ,table of ,contents ,,part ,i ,the origin of life--,one plan in all forms of life--,how plants grow from the seed--,they feed on the soil1 grow and mature--,how the plant reproduces itself--,the flower1 the pollen1 the pod1 the seed--,the office of bees and insects in fertilization4 ,,part ,,ii ,fishes and their young--,the parent fishes and the baby fishes--,the seeds of plants and eggs of fishes1 birds and animals--,how fishes never know their baby offspring--,warm blooded animals--,lessons from birds--,their nests1 eggs and little ones4 ,,part ,,iii ,animals and their young--,the place which ,god has prepared for their young--,beginning their independent life--,human babies the most helpless and dependent of all creatures--,the relations of parent and child--,the child a part of each parent--,heredity and its lessons4 ,,part ,,iv ,the value of good health--,the care of the body--,the body a temple to be kept holy--,girls should receive their instruction from their mothers--,the body the garment which the soul wears--,effects of thoughts upon life and character--,value of good companions1 good books and good influences--,what it is to become a woman4 ,price #a4jj net1 per copy #ds4 ,what a ,young ,girl ,ought to ,know ,,what ,,eminent ,,people ,,say ,francis ,e4 ,willard1 ,,ll4,d4 ,i do earnestly hope that this book1 founded on a strictly scientific but not forgetting a strong ethical basis1 may be well known and widely read by the dear girls in their teens and the young women in their homes4 ,mrs4 ,elizabeth ,b4 ,grannis ,these facts ought to be judiciously brought to the intelligence of every child whenever it asks questions concerning its own origin4 ,mrs4 ,harriet ,lincoln ,coolidge ,it is a book that mothers and daughters ought to own4 ,mrs4 ,katharine ,l4 ,stevenson ,the book is strong1 direct1 pure1 as healthy as a breeze from the mountain-top4 ,mrs4 ,isabelle ,mac,donald ,alden1 ,pansy ,it is just the book needed to teach what most people do not know how to teach1 being scientific1 simple and plain-spoken1 yet delicate4 ,miss ,grace ,h4 ,dodge ,i know of no one who writes or speaks on these great subjects with more womanly touch than ,mrs4 ,wood-,allen1 nor with deeper reverence4 ,when ,i listen to her ,i feel that she has been inspired by a ,higher ,power4 ,ira ,d4 ,sankey ,every mother in the land that has a daughter should secure for her a copy of ',what a ,young ,girl ,ought to ,know4' ,it will save the world untold sorrow4 ,what a ,young ,woman ,ought to ,know4 ,,by ,,mrs4 ,,mary ,,wood-,,allen1 ,m4 ,d4 ,condensed ,table of ,contents ,,part ,i ,,childhood ,,and ,,growth ,woman's worth--,importance of care of the body--,how to obtain health--,waste and repair--,questions of food--,importance of rest in sleep--,the office and importance of correct breathing--,injuries from tight clothing--,physical culture--,exercise and recreation--,the value of the bath4 ,,part ,,ii ,,womanhood ,the endowment of new powers--,the conferring of life--,brain building and character formation--,soul and self--,special physiology--,woman's special bodily endowments--,the crisis in the girl's life--,ovulation and menstruation--,their significance--,causes and cures of disturbed physical conditions--,painful periods and displacements--,special care of health at special times--,many healthful suggestions suited to the physical needs of young women--,secret vice and its consequences--,the relation of pure young women to young men--,friendships4 ,,part ,,iii ,what is love--,should include mental conjugality1 spiritual sympathy and physical attraction--,responsibility in marriage--,antecedents1 talents and habits of young man--,the law of heredity--,beneficial--,effects of stimulants upon offspring--,inherited effects of immorality--,good characteristics also transmitted--,requisites in a husband--,engagements--,benefits of1 evils of--,holding to the highest ideals--,weddings--,gifts1 tours and realities of life4 ,price #a4jj net1 per copy1 post free #ds4 ,what a ,young ,woman ,ought to ,know ,,what ,,eminent ,,people ,,say ,lady ,henry ,somerset ,an extremely valuable book1 and ,i wish that it may be widely circulated4 ,mrs4 ,laura ,ormiston ,chant ,the book ought to be in the hands of every girl on her fifteenth birthday1 as a safe guide and teacher along the difficult path of womanhood4 ,margaret ,warner ,morley ,there is an awful need for the book1 and it does what it has undertaken to do better than anything of the kind ,i ever read4 ,mrs4 ,may ,wright ,sewall ,i am profoundly grateful that a subject of such information to young woman should be treated in a manner at once so noble and so delicate4 ,elizabeth ,cady ,stanton ,it is a grave mistake for parents to try to keep their children ignorant of the very questions on which they should have scientific information4 ,lillian ,m4 ,n4 ,stevens ,there is a great need of carefully1 delicately written books upon the subjects treated in this series4 ,i am gratefully glad that the author has succeeded so well1 and ,i trust great and enduring good will be the result4 ,mrs4 ,matilda ,b4 ,carse ,it is pure and instructive on the delicate subjects that mean so much to our daughters1 to their future as homekeepers1 wives and mothers1 and to the future generations4 ,what a ,young ,wife ,ought to ,know4 ,,by ,,mrs4 ,,emma ,f4 ,a4 ,,drake1 ,m4 ,d4 ,condensed ,table of ,contents ,,husband ,,and ,,home ,the choice of a husband--,one worthy of both love and respect--,real characteristics necessary--,purity vs4 wild oats--,what shall a young wife expect to be to her husband8--,his equal1 but not his counterpart--,his helpmeet ,wifehood and motherhood--,should keep pace with his mental growth--,trousseau and wedding presents--,the foolish and ruinous display at weddings--,wedding presents and unhappiness--,wise choice of furniture--,the best adornments for the home4 ,,the ,,marital ,,relations ,the marital state should be the most holy of sanctuaries--,its influence upon character--,modesty--,reproduction the primal purpose--,love's highest plane--,the right and wrong of marriage--,the wrongdoings of good men4 ,,parenthood ,preparation for motherhood--,motherhood the glory of womanhood--,maternity productive of health--,clothing--,exercise--,baths1 etc41 etc4--,the child the expression of the mother's thoughts--,the five stages of prenatal culture4 ,,preparation ,,for ,,fatherhood ,questions which test the fitness of young men for marriage--,many young men of startling worth--,effects of bad morals and wayward habits--,tobacco and ,alcoholics--,attaining the best--,the father reproduced in his children4 ,,antenatal ,,infanticide ,the moral responsibility of parents in heredity--,the mother's investment of moulding power--,parents workers together with ,god--,ailments during expectant motherhood--,maternity a normal state--,development of the f,atus--,minuteness of the germ of human life--,changes which take place--,life present the moment conception takes place--,the sin of tampering with the work of the ,infinite4 ,,the ,,little ,,one ,baby's wardrobe--,the question that comes with fluttering signs of life--,importance of wise choice of material and style of dress--,choice of physician and nurse of real consequence--,the birth chamber--,surroundings and after-care of the mother--,the care of the baby--,the responsibilities and joys of motherhood--,the mother the baby's teacher--,common ailments of children and how to treat them--,guarding against vice--,the training of children--,body building--,helps for mothers4 ,price1 #a4jj net1 post free4 #ds4 ,what a ,young ,wife ,ought to ,know ,,what ,,eminent ,,people ,,say ,mrs4 ,margaret ,e4 ,sangster ,joyfully ,i send you my unqualified endorsement of the excellent book1 ',what a ,young ,wife ,ought to ,know4' ,i wish every young and perplexed wife might read its pages4 ,charles ,h4 ,parkhurst1 ,d4,d4 ,it handles delicate matters in a manner as firm as it is delicate1 and dignifies even what is common by the purity of the sentiment and nobility of intent with which it is treated4 ,marietta ,holly 7,josiah ,allen's ,wife7 ,it is an excellent book2 if every young wife of to-day would read it and lay its lessons to heart it would make the to-morrow much easier and happier for all of ,eve's daughters4 ,w4 ,g4 ,sperry1 ,m4,d4 ,young wives1 for whom this book is intended1 will receive great benefits from heeding its wise words4 ,it is good for incitement1 guidance1 restraint4 ,mrs4 ,joseph ,cook ,it illuminates the ,holy of ,holies in the most sacred of earthly relationships with the white light of truth and purity4 ,julia ,holmes ,smith1 ,m4,d4 ,be sure ,dr4 ,drake's book is part of your daughter's outfit4 ,i have never read anything which so thoroughly met the use it was designed for as this volume4 ,j4 ,p4 ,sutherland1 ,m4,d4 ,a subject difficult to treat has been handled by ,dr4 ,drake with delicacy1 earnestness and straightforwardness4 ,it is a practical book destined to do good4 ,what a ,woman of ,forty-five ,ought to ,know4 ,,by ,,mrs4 ,,emma ,f4 ,a4 ,,drake1 ,m4 ,d4 ,condensed ,table of ,contents ,,knowledge ,,of ,,climacteric ,,necessary ,why women are not prepared to meet the climacteric--,the fear that unnerves many--,error of views concerning ,change of ,life--,correct teaching stated--,influence of medical literature--,three periods in a woman's life--,relation of early habits to later aches and ills--,the menopause--,conditions which influence the period of the climacteric--,the age at which it usually appears--,effects of heredity--,childless women--,mothers of large families--,effects of different occupations--,excesses4 ,,heralds ,,of ,,change--,,diseases ,,and ,,remedies ,mental states during menopause--,change in blood currents--,flushes1 chilliness1 dizziness1 etc4--,nervous symptoms--,disturbed mental and nervous equilibriums--,nature as woman's helper--,troublesome ailments--,mental troubles considered--,suggested help--,cancer--,benefits named--,apprehensions dispelled--,how to banish worry--,simplifying daily duty--,an eminent physician's prescription--,a word to single women--,reluctance of unmarried women to meet the menopause--,how to prolong one's youth--,dress during this period--,the mother ,at ,sea--,guarding against becoming gloomy--,effects of patent medicine advertising--,drug fiends--,lustful indulgence4 ,,what ,,both ,,husband ,,and ,,wife ,,should ,,remember ,slights and inattentions keenly felt by her--,need of patience--,a word of private counsel--,value of little attentions--,wife's duty to her husband--,holding husband's affections--,making home attractive--,unselfishness4 ,,auto-,,suggestion ,,and ,,other ,,suggestions ,influence of mind over body--,the mind as a curative agent--,how to rise out of depression--,mental philosophy and physical betterment--,relation of health to sight--,care of the teeth--,the hair--,constipation--,self cure--,choice of foods--,exercise--,physical development--,exercise of mind and soul4 ,price1 #a4jj net1 post free4 #ds4 ,what a ,woman of ,forty-five ,ought to ,know ,,praised ,,by ,,the ,,press ,will dispel apprehensions aroused by groundless forebodings4--,reformed ,church ,messenger4 ,if the hygienic advice in this book is followed it will lengthen the lives of women and make their closing years the happiest and most useful of all4--,herald and ,presbyter4 ,in no line of literature1 perhaps1 is such a book so much needed4--,new ,haven ,leader4 ,those who peruse the book only from prurient curiosity will be disappointed4--,cleveland ,world4 ,should be read by every woman nearing and passing middle life4--,pittsburg ,gazette4 ,written in that wholesome sympathetic manner characteristic of all the books in the ,self and ,sex ,series4--,cleveland ,daily ,world4 ,full of most admirable practical advice1 and it is written in a sympathetic manner which is the outcome of oneness of sex between the author and those whom she addresses4--,syracuse ,herald4 ,there are some things that a woman of forty-five does not know--things which she regards with more or less terror in the expectation--which terror it is the object of ,mrs4 ,drake to dispel4--,rochester ,herald4 ,there is nothing in the book that could not be proclaimed from the house-tops1 and there is everything in it that intelligent and thoughtful women should read and keep for their daughters to read when the proper time comes4--,newark ,daily ,advertiser4 ,,new ,,book 4444,,by4444 ,,mrs4 ,,emma ,f4 ,a4 ,,drake1 ,m4 ,d4 ,,maternity ,,without ,,suffering4 ,a ,book for ,prospective ,mothers ,by ,,mrs4 ,,emma ,f4 ,a4 ,,drake1 ,m4 ,d4 ,author of ,what ,a ,young ,wife ,ought to ,know1 and ,what ,a ,woman of #de ,ought to ,know4 ,a valuable book for wives4 ,a splendid and invaluable book written by a mother for mothers and prospective mothers4 ,it treats in a most informing and chaste manner the topics of vital interest to every mature woman4 ,this book1 whilst having the dignity of a medical work1 is couched in language that is familiar and adequate1 and will prove of excellent worth to expectant mothers1 as it robs this critical period of all anticipated suffering4 ,the price of this book of priceless value to woman is ,only #ej ,cents1 ,post ,free4 ,table of contents sent free upon application4 ,the ,vir ,publishing ,company1 #acjd ,land ,title ,building1 ,philadelphia1 ,penna4 ,a ,,new ,,devotional ,,book ,faces ,toward the ,light ,by ,sylvanus ,stall1 ,d4 ,d4 ,every phase of the ,christian life--its joys and sorrows1 its temptations and triumphs--is treated in a reverent and deeply spiritual manner that is sure to prove helpful and inspiring to every reader4 ,,some ,,chapters ,,in ,,the ,,book ,glory ,after ,gloom4 ,the ,dangerous ,hour4 ,the ,concealed ,future4 ,gleaning for ,christ4 ,hunger and ,health4 ,direction and ,destiny4 ,god of the ,valleys4 ,coins and ,christians4 ,reserved ,blessings4 ,comfort in ,sorrow4 ,the ,better ,service4 ,not ,knowing ,whither4 ,good1 but ,good for ,nothing4 ,no ,easy ,place4 ,the ,dead ,prayer ,office4 ,how ,god ,reveals ,himself4 ,starting ,late4 ,source of ,power4 ,toiling at a ,heavy ,tow4 ,what ,he ,gave and ,what ,he ,got4 ,vacation ,lessons4 ,wheat or ,weeds4 ,the ,christian's ,power4 ,disclosures in the ,cloud4 ,healing and ,living ,waters4 ,the ,concealed ,future4 ,suspended ,animation4 ,the ,source of ,power4 ,lessons from the ,leaves4 ,etc4 ,price1 #a4jj net1 per copy #ds4 ,,just ,,published ,new ,revised ,edition ,manhood's ,morning ,,by ,,joseph ,,alfred ,,conwell ,an ,invaluable ,book for ,every ,young ,man ,chapter #a1 ,twelve ,million ,young ,men4 ,chapter #b1 ,the ,best ,years of ,life4 ,chapter #c1 ,what ,some ,young ,men ,have ,done4 ,chapter #d1 ,wild ,oats and ,other ,weeds4 ,chapter #e1 ,reason ,why ,young ,men ,go ,wrong4 ,chapter #f1 ,paying the ,piper4 ,chapter #g1 ,where ,young ,men ,belong4 ,chapter #h1 ,what ,young ,men ,must ,be4 ,chapter #i1 ,what ,young ,men ,must ,do4 ,,commendations ,from ,prof4 ,lyman ,b4 ,sperry1 ,m4,d41 ,lecturer and ,author ,every young man should read it yearly from the time he is fourteen till he is twenty-eight4 ,bishop ,j4 ,h4 ,vincent1 ,,ll4,d41 ,chancellor of ,chautauqua ,university ,every minister who deals with young men1 and every young man who cares to avoid evil and loves righteousness should read the book4 ,frances ,e4 ,willard1 ,president ,national ,w4 ,c4 ,t4 ,u4 ,we advise parents to send for a copy of this book to give as a present to their sons4 ,t4 ,j4 ,sanders1 ,a4,m41 ,ph4,d41 ,president ,otterbein ,university1 ,ohio ,a remarkable series of ,chapters to young men--stimulating and suggestive4 ,price1 #a4jj net1 per ,copy #ds4 ,,other ,,books ---- ,,by ---- ,,sylvanus ,,stall1 ,d4 ,d4 ,five-,minute ,object ,sermons to ,children ,far better than ,newton's1 the anecdotes and subjects of which have long since become common property4 ,many of the subjects are very fresh and telling4--,new ,york ,evangelist4 ,cloth1 #bec pp4 ,price1 #a4jj1 post free4 ,talks to the ,king's ,children ,the ,rev4 ,dr4 ,sylvanus ,stall1 is one of the best preachers for young people in the ,american pulpit4 ,his ',five-,minute ,object ,sermons' to children was an ideal book in its class4 ,the present volume is a second series of the same kind1 and will be found to have no less point and charm than the volume published two years ago4--,new ,york ,independent4 ,cloth1 #bdi pp4 ,price #a4jj1 post free4 ,methods of ,church ,work ,it is stimulating1 helpful1 worth its weight in gold to any minister who wishes to accomplish anything for the kingdom of ,christ4--,new ,york ,christian ,intelligencer4 ,cloth1 #cjd pp4 ,price #a4ej1 post free4 ,bible ,selections for ,daily ,devotion4 ,the most spiritual and helpful portion of the entire ,bible arranged in the order of the original text4 ,comprises about one-third of the whole ,bible4 ,that there has been a great falling off in the good old custom of daily family worship1 there can be no doubt4 ,just how much of this deplorable condition is due to the difficulty of hastily selecting ,scriptural passages suited to the service1 it might be difficult to determine4 ,but fully persuaded that this is an obstacle of considerable moment1 ,dr4 ,stall1 after some three year's work1 has selected a series of #cfe devotional readings from ,genesis to ,revelation4--,christian ,advocate1 ,pittsburg4 ,cloth1 #abmo41 #fhf pages4 ,price1 #a4jj1 post free4 ,pastor's ,pocket ,record 7,undenominational47 ,its departments cover everything a minister wishes to record4--,w4 ,f4 ,crafts1 ,d4 ,d4 #bj ,departments4 #bjj pp41 ,levant morocco4 ,price1 #ej;c4 ,,address ,,all ,,orders ,,to ,the ,vir ,publishing ,company4 ,,the ,,only ,,journal ,,of ,,its ,,kind ,,published4 ,the ,purity ,advocate ,a ,quarterly ,periodical in ,modern ,ornamental ,dress1 ,illustrated and ,handsomely ,printed4 ,,devoted ,,to ,,the ,,cause ,,of ,a ,,pure ,,manhood ,,and ,,womanhood ,ten ,cents a ,year in ,america and ,canada4 ,sixpence in ,great ,britain 7stamps accepted74 ,articles appear in its columns from such well-known and distinguished authors as ,josiah ,strong1 ,d4 ,d41 ,jessie ,a4 ,ackerman1 ,martha ,b4 ,earle1 ,j4 ,r4 ,miller1 ,d4 ,d41 ,theodore ,cuyler1 ,d4 ,d41 ,mrs4 ,mabel ,l4 ,conklin1 ,mrs4 ,margaret ,e4 ,sangster1 ,mrs4 ,dr4 ,mary ,wood-,allen1 ,sharlott ,m4 ,hall1 ,mrs4 ,emma ,f4 ,a4 ,drake1 ,m4 ,d41 ,margaret ,s4 ,hormel1 ,rev4 ,c4 ,w4 ,arnold1 ,m4 ,d41 ,ella ,wheeler ,wilcox1 ,canon ,e4 ,lyttleton1 ,washington ,gladden1 ,d4 ,d41 ,sylvanus ,stall1 ,d4 ,d41 and many other noted writers4 ,,sample ,,copies ,,free4 ,,the ,,vir ,,publishing ,,company1 #fdj ,land ,title ,building1 ,,philadelphia1 ,,pennsylvania4 ,,just ,,published ,,important ,,books ,,by ,,sylvanus ,,stall ,in no other department of medicine have such wonderful advances been made during the past twenty-five years as in the study of the subjects treated in the books named below4 ,the microscope has revolutionized medical thought and knowledge upon the subject of gonorrhea4 ,these books are of the utmost importance2 are thoroughly endorsed by the best medical authorities and should be read by every educator1 pastor1 parent1 and by every man and woman4 ,they are masterly treatments of the subjects in plain1 intelligible terms4 ,,no ,,physical ,,necessity1 #ej cts4 net--#bs4 net ,,the ,,social ,,plague1 #a4jj net--#ds4 net ,,the ,,leprosy ,,of ,,lust1 #a4jj net--#ds4 net 7,each in ,full ,cloth ,binding7 ,any of the above sent post free on receipt of price4 ,address all orders to ,the ,vir ,publishing ,company 99 99 99 99 99 ,transcriber's ,corrections ,following is a list of significant typographical errors that have been corrected4 - ,page xix1 ndividual changed to individual 7of every individual74 - ,page #dj1 child-bearing changed to childbearing to remain consistent with other instances 7exposed in childbearing74 - ,page #gg1 prove changed to proves 7impulse that proves fatal74 - ,page #hj1 sexally changed to sexually 7when he is sexually74 - ,page #aac1 rue changed to true 7is also true of them all74 - ,page #aai1 is to desired changed to is desired 7all that is desired in this world74 - ,page #ade1 pre eminence changed to pre-eminence 7husband shall have preference and pre-eminence74 - ,page #aeh1 abormal changed to abnormal 7due to abnormal conditions74 - ,page #agb1 new-born changed to newborn to remain consistent with other instances 7clasps her newborn infant74 - ,page #aib1 pre-natal changed to prenatal to remain consistent with other instances 7chapter upon prenatal influences74 - ,page #bhb1 huband changed to husband 7upon her husband74 - ,page ,offices of ,publication1 ,,philadelhhia changed to ,,philadelphia4 - ,pure ,books on ,avoided ,subjects ad1 ,britian changed to ,britain 7in ,great ,britain74 - ,what a ,young ,man ,ought to ,know ad1 ,three-fold changed to ,threefold to remain consistent with other instances 7,threefold nature of man74 - ,what a ,young ,man ,ought to ,know ad1 prevavalence changed to prevalence 7,the prevalence74 - ,,other ,,books ad1 ,,syvanus changed to ,,sylvanus 7by ,,sylvanus ,,stall1 ,d4 ,d47 - ,,other ,,books ad1 covers changed to cover 7,its departments cover everything74