,,! ,,gold5 ,,f\nta9 or1 ,! ,s\l's ,love
 = ,god ,be+ "s ,?\ghts & ,confessions (
 ,"o ( ,8 ,lov]s  ,by  ,lilian ,/aveley 
,london ,john ,m4 ,watk9s #ba ,cecil    
,c\rt1 ,*>+ ,cross ,road1 ,w4,c4#b #aiai
     ,h[ _m ( u inw>dly feel a secret   
long+ to f9d ,god2 & ?is usually        
accompani$ by ! p]ception t we are      
confront$ by an imp5etrable b>ri]--we _c
 f9d ,him--we c nei!r g ?r\gh ?is b>ri] 
nor climb ov] x6 ,we h fai?4 ,we are    
able to admit t ,he exi/s1 = we _c help 
b p]ceive a ,w dom9at+ ! laws ( !       
,univ]se2 b some?+ deep )9 u t we _c put
 a "n to1 some?+ subtle1 secret1 &      
/range1 cries al\d1 ,b ,i ne$ m ?an ?is1
 x is n en\gh2 ,i ne$ to p]sonally f9d &
 "k ,him4 ,:y does ,he n p]mit me to d  
s8  ,we might easily answ] ourselves by 
rememb]+ t if1 9 ev]yday life1 we       
greatly desire to see a fri5d1 our be/  
way ( do+ s is by go+ 9 ! direction 9   
:i* he is to be f\nd3 we %\ld consid]   
?is z obvi\s4 ,!n let u apply ?is1 :i*  
we say is s obvi\s1 to ,god4 ,we wa/e   

too mu* "t look+ = ,him 9 impossible    
directions & by impossible means4 ,he is
 n to be f\nd by m]ely /udy+ l5g?y      
argum5ts1 brilliant explanations (      
!ological /atem5ts1 or controv]sies ^u !
 mean+s ( obscure dogmas4 ,he is n ev5  
to be f\nd ?r\gh organis+ *>ity conc]ts 
& social re=ms h[ev] useful4 ,we %all   
f9d ,him ?r\gh a self /ripp$ b>e ( all  
o!r int]e/s & pret5sions--/ripp$ b>e (  
ev]y?+ b a humble & passionately seek+  
he>t4  ,he says to ! s\l1 ,long = ,me1 &
 ,i w %[ ,myself4 ,desire ,me ) a great 
desire1 & ,i w be f\nd4  99 99 99       
,scatt]$ all ?r\gh hi/ory are innum]able
 p]sons1 bo? great & insignificant1 :o  
look$ = ! ,pe>l ( ,great ,price3 & n too
 _m w\ld seem to h f\nd x4 ,"s s\ght by 
/udy1 by intellig5ce2 "s by /rict & pi\s
 att5tion to outw>d c]emonial s]vice2 "s
 by a religi\s life2 "s ev5 by p5ance & 
fa/+4 ,^? :o f\nd s\ght ) ! he>t4 ,^? :o
 s\ght ) c>eful piety1 or ) intellig5ce1
 f\nd p]haps fai? & submission1 b no    
joy4 ,! ,pe>l is t :i* _c be describ$ 9 

words4 ,x is ! t\* ( ,god ,himself ^u ! 
s\l1 ! ,joy ( ,love4  99 99 99  ,!      
entrance to ! l& ( happ9ess & peace is  
?r\gh union ( ! w to ,*ri/1 by love4 ,h[
 c ?is s5se ( love be rea*$8 ,by c5tr+ !
 :eel ( ! m9d1 ) its daily sp9n+ ?\ghts1
 ^u ! ,man ,jesus1 & le>n+ to inw>dly   
see & hold on to ! p]fect simplicity &  
love ( ,jesus ,*ri/4 ,we c =m ! habit ( 
tak+ ,jesus z our he>t & m9d companion4 
,we are all aw>e ( ! unceas+ necessity (
 ! m9d to fill itself3 we _c h no ?\ghts
 until we h advanc$ 9 ! spiritual life  
to a long di/ance4 ,we may well see1 9  
?is1 "o ( ! provisions made by ,god = ,8
 own habitation 9 ! m9d ( man--a        
habitation too (t5 hide\sly usurp$ by e 
k9d ( unwor?y sub/itute4 ,petty social  
int]e/s & occupations1 p]sonal          
animosities1 ambitions1 worries1 a      
revolv+ endless *aos ( futilities1 kn[n 
& prais$ by too _m ( u z a busy life6--!
 m9d be+ giv5 opportunity only at long  
int]vals1 & usually at /at$ & set times1
 to dwell ^u ! ?\ght ( ,god1 & !        

m>vell\s future ( ! human _s4 ,we are l 
travell]s :o1 ab\t to />t out ^u a great
 j\rney1 pack _! portmanteaus ) ev]y?+ t
 w be p]fectly useless to !m6  ,n[1 x is
 possible to put out & oblit]ate ?is    
*aotic & useless /ate ( m9d1 :i* w\ld   
appe> to be ! natural m9d1 & to op5     
ourselves to receive ! might & =ce & !  
joys & delights ( ,*ri/'s ,m9d4 ,^! joys
 are ! ,he>t ( ,*ri/ speak+ to ! he>t ( 
,8 lov]4 ,!y are incomp>able3 beyond all
 imag9ation until we "k !m2 & we receive
 !m & p]ceive !m & enjoy !m z we h      
l>g5ess & capacity to conta9 !m4 ,= !re 
is no end4 ,he has ev] m to give if we w
 be b l>ge en\gh to receive4  ,we are   
too absorb$ 9 ! pu]ile int]e/s &        
occupations ( daily life4 ,we make ( ^! 
endless occupations a virtue4 ,!y are no
 virtue1 b a deadly h9drance1 = !y keep 
u too busy to look = ! "o ?+ ne$ful--!  
,k+dom ( ,god4 ,:at is ?is _w8 ,x is a  
s*oolh\se = lov]s1 & we are lov]s 9 !   
mak+4  ,is baptism ( itself suffici5t to
 get u into ?is ,k+dom8 ,no4 ,is ! lead+

 ( an ord]ly social life suffici5t to   
f9d x8 ,no4 ,is ! hope1 ev5 ! e>ne/     
expectation1 t we %all1 by "s means or  
o!r 7we d n "k by :at671 be br\ght to x1
 suffici5t to f9d x8 ,no2 n )\t !       
p]sonal lay+ hold c we ev] a*ieve x4    
,%all we f9d x 9 mu* outw>d /udy8 ,no2 &
 our aim is1 n to be ! /ud5t b !        
possessor2 & ! key to ?is possession is 
n 9 books1 b1 = u1 9 ,jesus4 ,he x is :o
 mu/ be invit$ & admitt$ into ! he>t )  
great t5d]ness--) all ^? virtues = :i*  
,he /&s--& made ! c5tre po9t ( ?\ght4   
,out ( con/ant ?\ght gr[s t5d]ness2 out 
( t5d]ness1 affection2 out ( affection1 
love4 ,love once firmly fix$ 9 ! he>t = 
,jesus1 we get a p]ception 7by contra/7 
( our own faults--v pa9ful1 & kn[n z    
rep5tance4 ,?is %\ld be succe$$ at once 
by *ange ( m9d1 i4e4 we try to pu% out !
 old way ( ?9k+ & act+ & take on a new  
way4 ,we try1 9 fact1 /r5u\sly to please
 ! ,belov$1 to be 9 h>mony ) ,him2 & n[ 
we h e/abli%$ a p]sonal relation%ip     
betwe5 ourselves & ,*ri/4  ,) !         

p]ception ( our own fail+s comes !      
necess>y humility & ! dra/ic elim9ation 
( all prides4 ,we rememb]1 too1 t al?\gh
 ,jesus is s ne> to u1 & our own        
,belov$1 ,he is also ! mighty ,son (    
,god4  ,he is also ! my/ical ,*ri/1 :o1 
:5 we are ready1 leads u to ! ,fa!r3 :i*
 is to say1 t we are sudd5ly /rick5 ) ! 
consci\sness ( & ! love = ,god2 & "h we 
ent] t mo/ wond]ful ( all e>?ly         
exp]i5ces--! ,s\l's great ,g>d5 (       
,happ9ess4  ,to be a /ud5t ( !ories1    
dogmas1 laws1 & writ+s ( m5 is to be    
involv$ 9 endless controv]sy2 & we may  
/udy books till we are sick1 & embrace  
no?+ b vap\r = all our pa9s4 ,to be a   
pupil & possessor we mu/ fir/ e/abli% ! 
p]sonal relation%ip betwe5 ourselves &  
,jesus4 ,to d ?is we mu/ realise m fully
 ?an we n[ d t ,he /ill lives4 ,! m9d is
 incl9$ to dwell on ,him mo/ly z hav+   
liv$4 ,:5 we h taught ourselves to      
realise t ,jesus is z int5sely alive to 
ev]y?+ t we d z ,he 0 :5 ,he visibly    
walk$ ) m5--t ,jesus is z easily aw>e ( 

our inmo/ ?\ghts & endeav\rs n[ z ,he 0 
( ! secret ?\ghts ( ,8 disciples1--!n we
 %all h br\ght ,him mu* clos] into our  
own life4  ,z ! possessor ( life is n ! 
/ud5t ( s*ools1 b is ! pupil ( ,*ri/1   
let u prep>e ourselves to be pupils2 &  
?is aga9 we d solely by ! help ( !      
,man-,jesus1 :o is 9 ,*ri/1 & ,*ri/ 9   
,jesus4 ,= ! ,*ri/-,god is at fir/ too  
/rong a meat = u3 we _c ) fullness      
und]/& t ,he is ,god1 b ,he ,himself w  
tea* u ?is :5 we are ready to "k x4 ,to 
"k ?is tru? 9 its fullness is already to
 possess et]nal life4  ,z no man is able
 to give u et]nal life1 s no man is able
 to give u ! k t ,*ri/ is ,god1 z ,he   
will$ to reveal ,himself to man4 ,if we 
h d\bts :i* hurt1 let u drop !m out1    
*ang+ ! ?\ght quickly to ! sweetness1   
simplicity1 & g5tl5ess ( ! ,man-,jesus4 
,if we h que/ion+s1 let u cease to "q1 &
 say ) ! man ( old1 ,"l1 ,i believe2    
help ,?\ m9e unbelief4  ,we d well to   
avoid ^! que/ion+s1 pry+s1 &            
curiosities1 = :5 we indulge 9 su* ?+s  

we are l t common s]vant :o does n      
disda9 to peep ?r\gh ! keyhole ( 8      
ma/]'s *amb]6 ,let u put su* spiritual  
vulg>ities ^u "o side1 &1 op5+ our he>t 
to lovely ,love1 take ,him z our only   
guide4 ,love draws u v rapidly to ,8 own
 abid+-place1 = we are made ( love1 &   
because ( love1 & = love1 & to ,love we 
mu/ return1 = ,he awaits u ) long+4  99 
99 99  ,we (t5 ?9k1 ,:]e am ,i at fault8
 ,i am unable to see myself z a s9n]1   
?\gh publicly ,i confess myself to be   
"o4 ,= ,i keep ! comm&m5ts2 ,i am       
fri5dly to my neighb\rs2 ,i am j to my  
fell[-m52 ,i c ?9k ( no p>ticul> h>m t  
,i d4 ,:y1 !n1 am ,i a s9n]8 ,& our v   
mode/y & rev]5ce may =bid u to comp>e   
ourselves ) ,god4 ,yet "h lies our      
mi/ake2 = if we w\ld ent] ! ,g>d5 (     
,happ9ess & ,peace1 :i* is ! ,k+dom (   
,god1 ?is is ! comm5cem5t ( our         
advance--t we %\ld comp>e ourselves 9   
all ?+s ) ,god1 9 ^: lik5ess we are     
made1 &1 mak+ su* full obs]vation z we  
are able ( ! t]rible gulfs betwe5       

ourselves & ,him1 %\ld ) te>s & humility
 & con/ant endeav\r be at great pa9s &  
/ress to make good to ,him our          
defici5cies4       ,be ye p]fect z ,i am
 p]fect4      ,be ye holy z ,i am holy4 
,if ?is 7 n atta9able1 ,he w\ld n h set 
s high a goal4 ,9 ?is1 !n1 we are       
s9n]s--t we are n pure & lovely z ,god  
,himself6 ,?is is a prodigi\s1 an almo/ 
un?9kable height2 yet ,he wills u to    
attempt x1 & all ! p[]s ( ,heav5 are ) u
 z we climb4  99 99 99  ,fe> curiosity4 
,fe> x m ?an s94 ,curiosity is ! root1 &
 s9 ! fl[]4 ,?is is "o ( ! reasons :y we
 %\ld nev] seek ,god m]ely ) !          
intellig5ce3 to d s is to seek ,him1 9  
"p at lea/1 ) curiosity4 ,god w n be    
peep$ ^u by a curi\s humanity4 ,!       
indulg5ce 9 curiosity w\ld ( itself     
expla9 ! :ole d[nfall1 s call$1 ( man4  
,! ,s\l is ! ,prodigal4 ,curiosity to "k
 l$ h] away f ! high heav5s4 ,love is h]
 only way ( return4  ,curiosity is ! "m 
( all infidelity1 :e!r ( ! _s or ( !    
body4  99 99 99  ,?\gh on read+ !       

,gospels c>efully we may be unable to   
come to any o!r conclusion ?an t ,jesus 
,*ri/ nei!r pray$ = nor di$ = all       
mank9d1 b only = ! elect1 yet we see    
equally cle>ly t all mank9d is invit$ to
 be ! elect4 ,we are1 !n1 n individually
 sure ( heav5 because ,jesus di$ ^u a   
cross = m52 b sure ( heav5 = ourselves1 
only if we individually w to live & ?9k 
& act 9 su* a mann] t we become ( !     
elect4  ,him t come? to ,me ,i w 9 no   
wise ca/ out1 says ! ,voice ( ! ,belov$4
  99 99 99  ,9 our e>ly /ages1 h[ we    
%r9k f ! m]e ^w1 or idea1 ( p]fection2 &
 lat]1 :at we w\ld give to be able to   
a*ieve x6 ,yet ?\gh we %r9k s f ! ?\ght 
( x1 we "k in/9ctively t we mu/ try to  
approa* x2 if we w\ld /ay ne> ,him1 we  
mu/ be :olly pleas+ to ,him4 ,we ?9k (  
sa9ts--we "k no?+ ( sa9ts1 b ?9k ( !m z 
mo/ unusual p]sons midway betwe5 m5 &   
angels1 & "k ourselves n fa%ion$ = any  
su* position3 & h[ *ange ourselves1 h[  
alt] our "*1 z gr[n m5 & wom58  ,x is   
,*ri/ :o c %[ u ! way4  ,! ,wat] ( ,life

 is ! ,m9d ( ,*ri/1 & ! true object (   
life is to le>n h[ to receive ?is ,m9d (
 ,*ri/3 = by x & ) x we ent] ! ,k+dom ( 
,god4 ,& h[ %all we receive ! ,m9d (    
,*ri/8 ,"h is our difficulty4 ,fir/ly1  
we may d x ?r\gh sympa?y )1 & a draw+   
ne> to1 ! ,man-,jesus1 accompani$ by su*
 dra/ic *anges ( m9d z we are able to   
accompli% to %[ our goodwill4 ,we may   
le>n to become m unselfi%1 m pati5t1 m  
sympa!tic to o!rs1 & to curb ! tongue1 s
 t words :i* are untrue or unk9d %all n 
slip (f x4 ,we c le>n to gov]n ! animal 
t is 9 u1 in/ead ( be+ gov]n$ by x4 ,no 
"o c\ld h a bett] guide 9 h[ to improve 
! condition ( 8 m9d ?an ,a>on ,crane's  
book1 ,"r & ,wrong ,?9k+4  ,& next1 hav+
 become well knitt$ to ! ,man-,jesus1 ! 
,*ri/ w draw u =w>d /ep by /ep ?r\gh all
 ! next inw>d /ages1 we giv+ to ,him our
 att5tion2 & ,he w br+ u f9ally to t    
m>vell\s condition ( ,god-consci\sness  
by :i* ,he is able to p]petually refre% 
& r5ew u4 ,!re is "o great fir/ rule to 
hold to1 :i* is to ?9k lov+ly ( ,jesus3 

9 ?is way we ev5tually & automatically  
come into a /ate ( love4 ,9 :i* /ate ,he
 w tea* u to put out our own little     
light1 t we may le>n to live by ! lovely
 light ( ,god4 ,& we h ent]$ ! ,k+dom6  
,= myself1 ,i exp]i5c$ ?ree conv]sions3 
! fir/ two ( t]rible suff]+1 & ! ?ird ( 
great & m>vell\s joy1 9 :i* x is no     
exagg]ation to say t = a few mom5ts ,i  
seem$ to receive ,god & all ! fre$om ( !
 ,heav5s into my s\l4 ,i am n able to   
say exactly h[ long ?is exp]i5ce la/$1 =
 ,i 0 dead to "t & place1 b ,i %\ld     
judge x to h be5 f fifte5 to tw5ty      
m9utes4  ,! fir/ conv]sion came ^u me "o
 aft]noon 9 my room1 z ,i came 9 f      
walk+4 ,i _h be5 ?9k+ ( ,jesus :ile ,i  
walk$1 z ,i 0 (t5 9 ! habit ( do+4 ,)\t 
any int5tion or prem$itation on my "p1  
,i 0 n[ sudd5ly ov]:elm$ by a mo/       
horrible1 unbe>able1 inexplicable pa9 ( 
remorse = my vil5ess3 = ,i seem$ sudd5ly
 to be aw>e ( ,him /&+ !re 9 ,8 m>vell\s
 purity & look+ at me--n ) any reproa*1 
b ) ! sweetness ( a wond]ful ,invitation

 ^u ,8 face4 ,& imm$iately ,i saw myself
 utt]ly unwor?y to come ne> ,him3 & ,i  
wri!d 9 ! agony ( ?is fe>ful p]ception (
 my unwor?9ess till ,i c\ld be> no m4 ,i
 0 sick & ill ) remorse & regret1 ,i 0  
utt]ly brok5 up by x4 ,i did n "k !n t  
?is awful pa9 is :at is kn[n z          
rep5tance1 & wond]$ secretly :at c\ld h 
come to me4 ,aft] ?is ,i f\nd myself f> 
m con/antly ?9k+ ( ,jesus--ex*ang+1 z x 
71 sweet confid5ces ) ,him1 tell+ ,him  
:at ,i ?\ght1 & endeav\r+ 9 e possible  
way to foll[ ,8 mann] ( ?\ght4 ,i am    
a%am$ to say ,i 0 v remiss & lazy 9     
pray]s2 ^u my knees ,i pray$ v little   
inde$4 ,b ,i 0 v fai?ful & w>m & t5d] to
 ,him 9 my he>t1 & ?is _h an effect ^u  
my m9d & actions1 & cont9u$ = two ye>s4 
,i w\ld be assail$ by _m que/ion+s dur+ 
?is "t4 ,= in/ance1 h[ c\ld my sweet    
,jesus1 :om ,i 0 always s ne> to1 be !  
mighty ,*ri/ & ,god8 ,b ,i dropp$ ^! out
 z !y came1 feel+ myself altoge!r too   
small to und]/& ^! ?+s1 & v mu* fright5$
 by su* greatnesses4  ,:5 ,i 0 alone )  

,jesus1 all 0 s simple & s lovely2 s ,i 
put away all o!r ?\ghts & held closely  
to ,jesus4  ,?is hav+ cont9u$ almo/     
exactly ! two ye>s1 ^u ,ea/] morn+1 at !
 close ( ! s]vice1 ! horrible angui%    
came on me aga9 z ,i knelt 9 ! *ur*4 ,i 
0 n able to move or to %[ my face = m   
?an an h\r2 & to ?is day ,i am n able to
 dwell ^u ! memory ( t awful pa91 = ,i  
?9k ,i %\ld g mad if ,i _h to ent] aga9 
into s great a torture ( ! _s4 ,i endur$
 to ! utmo/ limit ( my capacity =       
suff]+--= ?is ,i w say ( myself1 ,i did 
n draw back1 b w5t on to ! bitt] end4 ,&
 ! suff]+ 0 caus$ by ! sight ( t mo/    
t]rible ( all sights3 ! vision ( myself 
z ov] aga9/ ! vision ( ,jesus ,*ri/1 &  
,i di$ a dea? = e fault4 ,:oev] has felt
 ! true wail+ ( ! s\l1 su* an "o kn[s ! 
heights ( all spiritual pa94 ,! he>t &  
m9d1 or creature1 suff]s 9 dep?s2 b !   
s\l 9 heights1 & ?is at "o & ! same "t1 
s t ! pa9 ( rep5tance is ev]y:]e4 ,& !  
dep? ( ! suff]+ ( ! creature is coequal 
) ! height ( ! suff]+ ( ! s\l1 & ! jo9t 

suff]+ ( bo? w\ld seem to be ( coequal  
promise & m]it = _! aft] joy & glory2 s 
t x w\ld seem t ! m horrible our pa91 ! 
quick] is our deliv]ance & ! great] our 
lat] joys4  ,aft] ?is1 ,jesus1 )\t my   
kn[+ h[ x came ab\t1 pass$ out f !      
,p]fect ,man into ! ,*ri/ ( ,god4 ,i    
walk$ & talk$ ) ,him no long] j z sweet 
,jesus1 b z ! ,m>vell\s & ,mighty ,ris5 
,"l6 ,& n[ ,i became f> m *ang$4 ,! _w &
 all e>?ly loves began to fade2 !y no   
long] satisfi$ or fill$ me 9 ! lea/4 ,h[
 c\ld ,i contemplate ,8 exquisite       
p]fections1 ! ineffable beauties ( ,8   
m9d & he>t1 &1 turn+ f ^! to ! sight ( !
 _w & ( ! m5 & wom5 t ,i knew1 n feel ! 
diff]5ce8 ,:]e among my fri5ds c\ld ,i  
f9d p]fect love8 ,among/ husb&s & wives8
 ,no4 ,among/ mo!rs & *ildr58 ,no4 ,=   
ev]y:]e ,i saw discord1 secret          
selfi%ness1 sep>ate & divid$ desires1 & 
_m deceits4 ,i f\nd no love any:]e l ,8 
= u4 ,i 0 always an epicure 9 ! matt] ( 
love1 & knew ! be/ :5 ,i f\nd x4 ,i     
cont9u$ ) my social & home life exactly 

z be=e3 ! *ange 0 an inw>d *ange4       
,almo/ imm$iately aft] ?is ! w> came1 &1
 ) x1 torm5ts ( anxiety ov] my e>?ly    
loves4  ,! fe>ful anxieties ,i 0 9 drove
 me to pray]4 ,i began to pray m        
regul>ly2 b ?\gh ,i pray$1 ,i rema9$ z  
mis]able z be=e4 ,a pa9ful illness came1
 & la/$ f\r mon?s4 ,i _h no home because
 ( ! w>1 & n[h]e to be ill 9 peace3 & ,i
 drank & ate wret*$ness z my daily bread
 & w9e1 & wond]$ :y ,i ev] 0 born4  ,i  
_c recall ,i 0 ev] rebelli\s4 ,no1 ,i   
nev] 04 ,i walk$ 9 a maze ( tr\ble1 &   
endur$ l a poor dumb ?+1 & did n ?r[ out
 my he>t to ,god en\gh 9 pray]4 ,if ,i  
_h done ?is ,i ?9k ,i %\ld h be5 ?r\gh  
my pa9s 9 half ! "t4  ,two ye>s w5t by1 
&1 be+ 9 great] anxiety ?an ev] because 
( a great battle t 0 go+ on & my love at
 ! front ( x1 ,i w5t up on ! hill :]e ,i
 (t5 w5t1 & /&+ !re ,i cont5d$ ) ,god1  
cry+ out1 ,x is too mu*--! pa9 ( ?is w> 
is too great & too long2 ,i _c be> x4 ,i
 am at an end ( ev]y?+4 ,help me6 ,help 
me6 ,& 9 my angui% ,i seem$ at la/ to be

 melt$ & runn+ l wat] be=e ,him1 & ,i   
came be=e ,him z x 7 imm$iately be=e a  
mighty & liv+ ,pres5ce1 ?\gh ,i saw     
no?+4  ,b ?\gh ,i 0 s ne> ,him & appeal$
 to ,him ) ! :ole ( my /r5g?1 !re 0 no  
answ]1 no reply1 b ! great sil5ce (     
heav54  ,at la/1 my agony ov]1 ,i walk$ 
= a little1 v quiet & v sad1 & all at   
once a m>vell\s ?+ happ5$ to me4 ,i w n 
"h describe h[ x 0 done to me1 b ,he    
fill$ me ) love = ,himself1 an amaz+1   
all-absorb+1 & trem5d\s love--f ! cr[n (
 my head to ! soles ( my feet ,i 0 fill$
 ) love4 ,& ?is 0 ,8 answ]--& all my    
sorr[s fl$ away 9 a great joy4  ,?is    
?ird conv]sion produc$ a fundam5tal     
alt]ation ( my :ole outlook & grasp on  
life4 ,x br\ght me into direct contact )
 ,god1 & 0 ! comm5cem5t ( a total *ange 
( he>t & m9d & consci\sness2 ! c5tre (  
my consci\sness1 )\t any ef=t ( my own1 
sudd5ly mov+ bodily f a conc5tration ^u 
! visible or e>?ly to a lov+ & absorb$  
conc5tration ^u1 & a fix$ att5tion to1 !
 ,invisible ,god--a mo/ amaz+1          

undream$-( *ange1 :i* rema9$ p]man5t1   
?\gh fluctuat+ ?r\gh innum]able degrees 
( int5sity be=e com+ to a /ate (        
equilibrium4 ,& n[ ,*ri/ w5t away f me1 
s t ,i ador$ ,him 9 ,god4 ,aft] ?is = "s
 weeks ,i w5t ?r\gh extraord9>y         
spiritual exp]i5ces1 ! l ( :i* _h nev]  
previ\sly s mu* z ent]$ into my he>t to 
imag9e2 aga9 ,i w say no?+ "h ( ^!4 ,i  
came to all ^! exp]i5ces ) great        
innoc5ce & ignorance1 nev] hav+ read any
 religi\s or psy*ological book1 & ,i ?9k
 n[ t x is p]haps easi] to h x s4  ,kn[+
 t no?+ is done )\t a purpose1 ,i w\ld  
"q myself :at ,i c\ld possibly be int5d$
 to le>n out ( ^! ?+s2 & ?\gh ,i h nev] 
yet f\nd a reason = any "o giv5         
exp]i5ce1 yet ,i see ?is3 ! :ole 7:i*   
la/$ = "s weeks & 0 gone ?r\gh at night 
& always 9 a /ate ( semi-wakefulness1   
?\gh n 9 a normal wakefulness1 = ! body 
w\ld be /iff & set l a bo>d7--! :ole 0 !
 mo/ conv9c+ pro( t ,he c\ld h giv5 me  
7)\t de/roy+ my fle%7 ( ! reality ( !   
life unse54 ,= h[ o!rwise c\ld we be    

made to "k ( ! reality ( spiritual ?+s  
if we 7 nev] tak5 into !m8 ,& hav+ be5  
tak5 into !m1 & !y be+ a ?\s& times m   
poignant ?an any e>?ly exp]i5ce1 h[ c\ld
 we =get !m8 ,:5ev] d\bts ^u any?+      
pres5t$ !mselves1 ,i _h no?+ m to d ?an 
to ,rememb]6 ,no?+ ,he c\ld h devis$ to 
d = me c\ld h be5 ( great] or m direct  
assi/ance to me4 ,^! exp]i5ces 7 to my  
creature :at ! c5tre-bo>d is to ! rac+  
ya*t4 ,) ^! memories ,i c\ld keep an ev5
 keel1 & )\t !m ,i mu/ h capsiz$ _m a   
"t4  ,by ^! spiritual exp]i5ces ,he     
gives u an imm5se c\rage1 & p]sonal k ( 
a my/]i\s & hi!rto unkn[n life ( joys s 
great & s int5se t all suff]+s endur$ by
 u "h appe> to u 9 _! true light z be+ a
 melt+ & cleans+ ag5cy inf9itely wor?   
:ile1 t we may ga9 9 p]man5ce su*       
exquisite felicity4  ,our means ( rea*+ 
a p]sonal exp]i5ce1 :il/ /ill 9 ! body1 
( su* a life ( joys is to h>monise ! _s 
( our human creature to ! degree (      
purity requir$ by ! s\l to enable h] 9  
unfett]$ fre$om to p]=m h] div9e        

functions4  ,we confuse 9 our m9ds ! two
 sep>ate ess5ces--t ( ! s\l & t ( !     
human _s 7he>t1 intellig5ce1 & w71 :i*  
are widely diff]5t2 ! s\l act+ = u z !  
w+s ( ! creature4 ,& above & sup]ior to 
! s\l1 & yet )9 x1 is ! div9e &         
incorruptible ,_s or ,sp>kle ( ,god1 :i*
 9 its turn acts z ! w+s ( ! s\l4 ,s we 
h ! worm 7or creature-_s71 ! s\l2 & !   
,cele/ial ,sp>k1 or ,div9e ,intellig5ce 
( ! s\l1 :i* is ! organ ( ,god1 & ) :i* 
we are able to come 9 s5sible contact ) 
! div9e _w & ,god ,himself4 ,:at are our
 enemies8 ,selfi%ness1 impati5ce1       
covet\sness1 pride1 ill-temp]1 bodily   
indulg5ces1 &1 above all1 indiff]5ce to 
,god ( ! w ( ! creature4  ,aft] ?is     
?ird1 & la/1 conv]sion ^u ! hill1 :i* s 
alt]$ my :ole life1 ,i 0 = a p]iod ( "s 
mon?s 9 su* a /ate ( exaltation &       
enhancem5t ( all my faculties t ,i did n
 "k myself at all4 ,i 01 )\t any        
int5tion or endeav\r on my own "p1      
sudd5ly become l a v]itable ,h\se (     
,arts6 ,! mo/ beautiful music fl[$ ?r\gh

 my m9d1 9 :i* ,i notic$ c]ta9          
peculi>ities--!re 0 no sadness 9 x1 & x 
sway$ me s t ,i seem$ to g into a /ate (
 :ite-heat ) emotion ov] x4 ,x 0        
extraord9>ily mu* smoo!r ?an any        
e>?-music ,i ev] he>d1 & extremely      
consecutive1 l a fluid4 ,n[ ) e>?-music 
,i f9d t ev5 ,wagn] is n able to a*ieve 
any consecutive p]fection3 he rea*es to 
a height--only to fall back & disappo9t4
 ,b ?is o!r music1 :i* is n he>d ) !    
s5ses b is inv>iably felt by ! s\l1     
rema9s at extreme & fluid p]fection1 &  
ca/s su* spells ov] ! li/5] t he is     
beside himself ) enjoym5t4 ,col\r & =m1 
imag]y ( all k9ds1 w\ld pass ?r\gh me   
till ,i felt l an arti/1 & cri$ out )   
regret1 ,oh1 if ,i _h only /udi$ ?is or 
t art & knew ! gr\nd+ ( x1 :at heights (
 pr(ici5cy ,i c\ld rea* n[6 ,an object (
 q ord9>y *>m seem$1 because ( t some?+ 
:i* n[ fill$ me1 to exp& into prodigi\s 
beauty6 ,! v pavem5ts & h\ses1 mean &   
hide\s z !y are1 ov]fl[$ ) "s           
inexplicable glam\r4 ,! _w 0 turn$ into 

a v]itable p>adise6 ,:5 ,i ?\ght ( x all
 ,i 0 fill$ ) amazem5t1 & /ill am1 = h[ 
c we expla9 su* *anges 9 mann] ( liv+ & 
see+8 ,at ?is "t my only tr\ble or      
difficulty 0 to conceal my condition f  
o!rs4  ,b ?is wond]ful /ate ( ?+s       
gradually pass$ away1 & ,i w5t into a   
mo/ difficult condition4 ,at "o "t ( !  
day ,i w\ld be 9 an ec/asy ( delight1 & 
an h\r lat] 9 "s altoge!r unreasonable  
dep? ( wret*$ness4 ,i w5t to & fro f "o 
extreme to ! o!r1 & my "t 01 ,i ?9k1    
mo/ly sp5t 9 try+ to rega9 "s k9d (     
balance4 ,my love = ,god 0 z great z    
ev]1 b x _h become a love all made (    
te>s4 ,inde$1 my :ole be+ seem$ made (  
te>s4 ,i ?\ght (t5 ( ^! words1 ! peace (
 ,god2 mo/ c]ta9ly ,i _h n f\nd x4 ,on !
 contr>y1 my life _h become an          
indescribable turmoil4 ,i f\nd no help f
 my fell[-be+s2 ,i seem$ to h lo/ ! p[] 
( talk+ pleasantly ) !m1 & my po9t (    
view _h become diff]5t f !irs4 ,m5 c\ld 
no long] please me1 & ,i c\ld n please  
,god6 ,i 0 entirely alone spiritually1 &

 ,i said to myself x w\ld be bett] if ,i
 c\ld be alone physically z well2 & ,i  
a*$ & long$ & dream$ ( solitude till x 0
 l a sickness4 ,b ! only solitude ,i    
c\ld h 0 9 my own room4  ,n[1 believ+   
myself to be a s5sible & practical      
p]son1 ,i w\ld say to myself t my       
condition1 be+ s unreasonable1 mu/ be   
got out (1 & ,i mu/ make e ef=t to d x4 
,i pray$ = two ?+s--t ,i might love ,god
 ) a *e]ful c\nt5ance & n ) te>s1 & t   
,he w\ld tea* me quickly :at to pray =2 
& ,he gave me ! impulse to pray = m &   
great] love4  ,next1 ,i bani%$ my own   
feel+s z mu* z ,i c\ld 7s9ce love mu/ n 
?9k ( itself71 pay+ z little att5tion to
 !m z possible by p]petually dropp+ !m  
out z !y came & return+ to ! ?\ght (    
,jesus1 conc]n+ myself at all times ( ! 
day to lov+ inw>d conv]sation ) ,him2 & 
9 ?is mann] ,i fa/5$ myself clos] ?an   
ev] to ,him1 cont9ually pray+ = great]  
love to give ,him & passionately (f]+   
,him all t ,i already _h1 :il/ ) all my 
w & /r5g? ,i tri$ to climb out ( my     

mis]able /ate4 ,soon ,i succe$$--,i 0   
out ( x 9 a matt] ( weeks4  99 99 99    
,h[ humanity is extoll$ by its own k9d6 
,h[ m5 are admir$1 ev5 glorifi$6 ,i am  
amaz$1 = :]e is ! glory ( any man8 ,b r1
 h[ wond]ful & glori\s is ,god6 t ,he   
%\ld cause to spr+ f "o h&ful ( du/ su* 
possibilities6 ,wond]ful ,god6 ,& bless$
 man1 t he %\ld h s wond]ful a ,god6  99
 99 99  ,"s m5 say t man has inv5t$ =   
himself ! ?\ght ( ,god1 because ( !     
great ne$ he feels )9 himself = su* a   
,be+4  ,yet look :]e we w 9 ,nature1 d  
we f9d a w>rant = su* a ?\ght8 ,are     
babes inspir$ ) ! desire = milk1 & is t 
milk )held f ! nature ( all mo!rs8 ,no2 
to ! babe is giv5 ! desire because ! "m 
has :]e) to satisfy4 ,s ) gr[n m53 = to 
u is giv5 a deep & secret desire = !    
milk ( ,god's love1 & to ,himself ,he   
has res]v$ ! joy ( lead+ u to x & be/[+ 
x ^u u4  99 99 99  ,sometimes = a %ort  
:ile ! s\l w suff] f a sickness 7,i     
speak n[ = p]sons already v well        
advanc$72 %e is p>*$ & )\t sweetness4   

,h] love has no joy 9 x4 ,?is is n a    
condition to be accept$ or acquiesc$ 91 
b mu/ be ov]come at once by a rem$y (   
pray]3 pray] address$ to ! ,fa!r1 9 ! "n
 ( ,jesus ,*ri/1 a pray] ( praise &     
adoration--,i praise & bless & love &   
?ank ,!e1 ,i praise & bless & love &    
wor%ip ,!e1 ,i praise & bless & love &  
glorify ,!e--till ! he>t is fir$ & we   
return to ! intimacy ( love4 ,or ! ,"l's
 ,pray]1 v sl[1 & ) an int5tion bo?     
outgo+ & intak+4 ,s f> ,i h nev] kn[n ^!
 rem$ies to fail1 & joy floods ! s\l &  
s5ds h] sw++ up1 up1 on to ! topmo/     
heights aga94 ,x is magnific5t4  ,h[ is 
x t we c pass s1 up f ! visible into !  
,invisible1 & become s on$ ) x1 & feel x
 s p[]fully1 t ! ,invisible becomes a   
?\s& times m real to u ?an ! visible6 ,x
 is l a diff]5t mann] ( liv+ altoge!r4  
,& :5 anyone s liv+ f9ds himself ev5 = a
 %ort "t unfa/5$ f ?is way ( liv+ & back
 aga9 to :at is kn[n to ! av]age z      
normal life1 ?is normal life seems no   
bett] to him ?an "s horrible *aotic &   

unev5 turmoil1 & 8 bra9 ready to be     
turn$ if he _h to rema9 9 x = long4 ,:5 
s unfa/5$1 ! :ole sav\r ( life is       
completely gone1 & a smallness ( m9d &  
outlook is fall5 back into f :i* ! s\l  
recoils 9 horror & /ruggles quickly to  
free h]self4  ,is ?is ! remnant ( !     
unruly creature ris+ up & grappl+ ) !   
s\l aga98 ,is ?is "s delib]ate trial ( u
 by ! ,ma/]8 or "s natural spiritual    
sickness8 ,:il/ 9 ?is condition we mu/  
disappo9t ! ,belov$4 ,on ! o!r h&1 we   
f9d ourselves kept to ! k ( our own     
impot5ce & no?+ness & dep5d5ce1 & ! _s  
is /r5g!n$ by ! ef=ts made quickly to   
recov] ! lo/ beautiful e/ate4  ,also we 
become m able to feel true pati5ce &    
compassion = su* o!rs z d n "k ! way (  
escape4 ,s we ga91 maybe1 m ?an we lose4
  99 99 99  ,we may wond] h[ x is t !   
,mighty ,mak] ( ! ,univ]se %\ld *oose to
 condesc5d to ! m]e individual piece (  
clay4 ,x is incompreh5sible4 ,x is s    
incompreh5sible t !re is b "o way (     
look+ at x4 ,?is is no fav\ritism to !  

individual1 b ! evid5ce ( a ,m9d ) a va/
 plan pursu+ a way & us+ a likely       
individual4 ,^! individuals or will+    
s\ls ,he takes &1 sett+ !m ap>t1 fa%ions
 !m to ,8 own ends & lik+4 ,( "o ,he w  
make a work]1 & ( ano!r ,he fa%ions to  
,himself a lov]4 ,x w\ld seem to be ,8 w
 to use ! human implem5t to help !      
human4 ,z wat]1 = usefulness to ! _m1   
mu/ be collect$ & put ?r\gh *annels1 s x
 w\ld seem mu/ ! b5efic5ce ( ,god be    
collect$ into human vessels & *annels t 
x may be di/ribut$ = ! use ( ! _m & ! m 
feeble4  99 99 99  ,! m any man w       
consid] humanity1 ! m he w see t !      
education ( ! he>t & w is ( m importance
 ?an ! education ( ! bra94 ,= 9 !       
p]fectly tra9$ & educat$ he>t & w we f9d
 ! evid5ce ( highe/ wisdom4  99 99 99   
,:y mortify ! body ) h>% au/]ities8 ,:5 
we ov]-mortify ! body ) fa/+s1 pa9s1 &  
p5ances we are rememb]+ ! fle%4 ,let u  
aim at ! =gett+ & n ! despis+ ( ! fle%4 
,a sick body c be a great h9drance to ! 
s\l4 ,by keep+ ! body 9 a /ate ( p]fect 

:olesom5ess we c m easily pass away f ! 
recollection ( x4 ,*a/ise ! m9d r ?an ! 
body4 ,*ri/ taught1 n ! contempt or     
wilful neglect ( ! body1 b ! humble     
submission ( ! body to all circum/ances1
 ! ob$i5ce ( ! w to ,god1 & ! glori\s & 
immeasurable possibilities ( ! human _s4
  99 99 99  ,we "k t ! love ( ! he>t c  
be beautiful & full ( zeal & f]v\r2 b ! 
love ( ! s\l by comp>ison to x is l a   
furnace1 & ! capacities ( ! he>t are n  
wor?y to be nam$ 9 ! same brea?4 ,yet1  
deplorable z is ! he>t ( man1 x is      
evid5tly desir$ by ,god1 & mu/ be giv5  
to ,him be=e ,he w wak5 ! s\l4 ,to my   
belief1 we are q unable to awak5 our own
 s\l1 ?\gh we are able to w to love ,god
 ) ! he>t1 & ?r\gh ?is we pass up to !  
bord] ( ! ,veil ( ,sep>ation1 :]e ,he w 
/+ ! s\l into life & we h ,p]ception4   
,aft] :i* ! s\l w (t5 be swept or pluck$
 up into immeasurable glories & delights
 :i* are nei!r imag9$ nor contriv$1 nor 
ev5 desir$ by h] at fir/--= h[ c we     
desire t :i* we h nev] he>d ( & _c ev5  

imag9e8 ,& ^! delights are unimag9able  
be=e ! s\l is caught up into !m1 & to my
 exp]i5ce !y con/antly diff]4 ,! s\l    
kn[s h]self to be 9 ! h&s & ! p[] (     
ano!r1 outside h]self4 ,%e does n ent]  
^! joys ( h] own p[] or ( h] own w1 b by
 p]mission & int5tion & w ( a =ce       
outside h]self ?\gh p]ceiv$ & kn[n      
inside h]self4 ,no lov]s ( argum5ts or  
guess+ games c move ! s\l to li/5 :5 %e 
has once be5 s h&l$4 ,= to "k is m ?an  
to guess4  99 99 99  ,h[ c a ,contact ) 
,god be 9 any way describ$8 ,x is n     
see+1 b meet+ & fusion ) aw>5ess4 ,! s\l
 reta9+ h] own individuality &          
consci\sness to an int5se degree1 b     
imbu$ ) & fus$ into a life ( incr$ible  
int5sity1 :i* passes ?r\gh ! s\l        
vitalities & emotions ( a life s new1 s 
vivid1 s amaz+1 t %e kn[s n :e!r %e has 
be5 embrac$ by love or by fire1 by joy  
or by angui%3 = s fe>ful is h] joy t %e 
is almo/ unable to endure ! might ( x4  
,& h[ c ! heat or fire ( ,god be        
describ$8 ,x is v f> f be+ l ! cruelty (

 fire1 & yet x is s trem5d\s t ! m9d    
kn[s ( little else to comp>e x to4 ,b x 
is l a vibration ( great spe$ & heat1 l 
a fluid & magnetic heat4  ,?is heat is (
 _m degrees & ( sev]al k9ds4 ,! heat (  
,*ri/ is mix$ ) indescribable sweetness3
 giv+ m>vell\s pleasure & refre%m5t &   
happ9ess1 & wond]fully adapt$ to !      
delicacy ( ! human creature4 ,! heat ( !
 ,godhead is v diff]5t1 & sometimes we  
may ev5 feel x to be cruel & remorseless
 9 its v t]rible & swift int5sity4 ,b ! 
s\l1 l all great lov]s1 nev] fl9*es or  
hangs back1 b passionately l5ds h]self4 
,if ,he *ose to kill h] ) ?is joy %e    
w\ld gladly h x s4  ,by ^!              
incompreh5sible wond]s ,he seems to say 
to ! creature3 ,come ?\ "h1 t ,i may    
tea* !e :at is ,joy2 come ?\ "h1 t ,i   
may tea* !e :at is ,life4 ,= none are   
p]mitt$ to tea* ( ^! ?+s save ,i        
,myself4  99 99 99  ,!re is ano!r mann]4
 ,! ,_s comes ^u ! s\l 9 waves ( t]rible
 p[]4 ,n[ 9 a rapture ,god desc5ds ^u ! 
s\l1 cat*+ h] sudd5ly up 9 a m>vell\s   

embrace3 magnetis+ h]1 ravi%+ h]4 ,he is
 come1 & ,he is gone4 ,9 an ec/asy ! s\l
 goes out prep>$ to meet ,him1 seek+    
,him by praise & pray]1 p\r+ up h] love 
t[>ds ,him2 & ,he1 condesc5d+ to h]1    
fills h] ) unspeakable delights1 & at   
r>e times ,he w cat* h] f an ec/asy into
 a great] rapture4 ,at lea/1 s x is )   
me3 ! ec/asy is prep>$ =1 b 9 ! quick]  
rapture 7or cat*+ up7 x is ,he t seeks !
 s\l4 ,^! two conditions1 ?\gh giv5 v   
int]mitt5tly1 become a completely       
natural exp]i5ce4 ,i %\ld say t ! s\l   
liv$ by ?is way3 x is h] food & h] life1
 :i* %e receives ) all ! simplicity &   
naturalness ( ! hungry man turn+ to 8   
bodily food4 ,b ^! waves ( p[] 7 some?+ 
altoge!r new & v h>d to endure4 ,z ea*  
wave pass$ ,i w\ld come up out ( x1 z x 
71 gasp+4 ,x 0 z if some?+ too great = !
 s\l to conta9 0 be+ =c$ ?r\gh h]4 ,x 0 
z if "o %\ld try to =ce at fe>ful       
pressure fluid ?r\gh a body too solid to
 be p]colat$ by x4 ,i und]/ood no?+ (   
:at c\ld be int5d$ by su* happ5+s1 nei!r

 c\ld ,i give accommodation to ?is      
int5sity4 ,i tri$ to make myself a :olly
 will+ receptacle & in/rum5t1 b aft] !  
?ird day ( ?is ,i c\ld n be> any m4 ,i 0
 greatly di/ress$4 ,i c\ld n und]/& :at 
0 requir$ ( me4 ,i gave myself totally  
to ,him1 & x 0 n en\gh4 ,& at la/ ,i    
cri$ to ,him1 say+3 ,i und]/& no?+3     
=give me1 my ,god1 = my great           
fooli%ness1 b ,?y p[] is too mu* = me4  
,d :at ,?\ wilt ) me2 ,i am altoge!r    
,?9e4 ,dr[n me ) ,?y /r5g?1 break me 9  
pieces--,i am will+2 only d x quickly1  
my ,"l1 & h done ) x1 = ,i am s small4  
,b ,i love ,!e ) all t ,i h or am2 yet  
,i am ov]:elm$3 ,i am /ill too little to
 be taught 9 ?is way1 x is too mu* = my 
/r5g?4 ,yet d z ,?\ wilt2 ,i love ,!e1  
,i love ,!e4 ,& ,he he>d me1 & ,he      
ceas$3 & ,he return$ to ! ways t ,i     
und]/ood & de>ly lov$1 & = weeks ,i liv$
 9 ,p>adise4 ,b my body 0 dreadfully    
%ak51 & ,i suff]$ ) my he>t & brea?+4   
,%ortly aft] ,i began to "k t ano!r     
*ange _h come into me4 ,god _h become   

int5sely my ,fa!r1 & ,*ri/ ! lov] 0 gone
 up aga9 into ! ,godhead--z happ5$ aft] 
my ?ird conv]sion ^u ! hill4  ,s great1 
s trem5d\s 0 ?is s5se ( ! ,fa!rhood (   
,god become t ,i _h only to ?9k ! ^w    
,fa!r to seem to be in/antly transport$ 
into ,8 v bosom4 ,oh1 ! mighty sweetness
 ( x6 ,b x is n an ec/asy4 ,! creature &
 s\l are dead to _w-life1 z 9 a rapture 
or ec/asy2 b ! s\l is n ! bride1 %e is !
 *ild1 &1 full ( eag] & ador+ intimacy1 
%e flies into ,8 ev]-op5 arms1 & nev]1  
nev] does %e miss ! way4 ,oh1 !         
sweetness ( x1 ! great1 great glory ( x1
 & ! folly ( words6 ,if only all ! _w ( 
m5 & wom5 c\ld h ?is joy6 ,h[ to help   
ev5 "o s\l t[>ds x is :at fills my he>t 
& m9d4 ,h[ conv9ce !m1 h[ induce !m to  
take ! fir/ /eps8 ,x is ! fir/ /eps we  
ne$ to take4 ,he does n drive1 ,he      
calls4 ,come to ,me1 ,he calls4 ,x is   
?is failure to h ! w to g to ,him :i* is
 ! root ( all human woe4 ,w\ld we b take
 ! fir/ few /eps t[>ds ,him1 ,he w c>ry 
u all ! re/ ( ! way4 ,^! fir/ few /eps  

we take hold+ to ! h& ( ,jesus4 ,= !    
s-call$ ,*ri/ian !re is no o!r way 7b he
 is no ,*ri/ian until he has tak5 x74 ,=
 ! ,buddhi/1 d\btless1 ,gautama is      
p]mitt$ to d ! same4 ,b = ^? :o are     
baptiz$ 9 ,jesus ,*ri/'s "n1 ,he is _!  
only ,way4  99 99 99  ,god1 once f\nd1  
is s poignantly ev]-pres5t to ! s\l t we
 mu/ s+ & :isp] to ,him all ! day4  ,o  
m>vell\s & exquisite ,god6 ,i am s      
enraptur$ by ,?y ne>ness1 ,i am s fill$ 
) love & joy1 t !re is no "o1 no?+1 9   
heav5 or e>? to me save ,?9e ,own ,self1
 & ,i c\ld die = love ( ,!e6 ,inde$ ,i  
am 9 deep necessity to f9d ,!e at ea*   
mom5t ( ! day1 = s great is ,?y glam\r t
 )\t ,!e my days are l bitt] wat]s & a  
m\?ful ( gravel to a hungry man4 ,h[    
long wilt ,?\ leave me "h--set d[n ^u ! 
e>? 9 ?is m>tyrdom ( langui%+ = love (  
,!e8 ,& sudd5ly1 :5 ! pa9 c be endur$ no
 m1 ,he embraces ! s\l4 ,!n :]e d sorr[ 
& wait+ fly8 & :at is pa98 ,!re nev] 7  
su* ?+s6  99 99 99  ,we d well nev] to  
recall pa/ ec/asies4 ,9 ?is way ! s\l   

comes to ea* enc\nt] ) a lovely fre%ness
 & purity1 & nei!r makes comp>isons nor 
curi\s comm5ts1 b gives h]self :olly to 
love4 ,b by ^! contacts ! s\l ga9s a    
secret & p]sonal k ( ,god3 )\t sight &  
)\t reason+ %e actually feels to p>take 
( ,god1 s t %e passes by ^! means f> up 
beyond belief1 into exp]i5ces ( k :i* 9 
_! poignant int5sity are at once an     
ineffable viol5ce & a m>vell\s :ite     
peace4  99 99 99  ,i f9d ! l>k ! mo/    
wond]ful ( all birds4 ,i _c li/5 to 8   
rhapsodies )\t be+ inspir$ 7no matt] :at
 ,i may be 9 ! mid/ ( do+ or say+7 to   
?r[ up my own love to ,god4 ,9 ! so>+   
insi/5ce ( 8 song & passion ,i f9d !    
only ?+ 9 ,nature :i* s sugge/s !       
high-so>+ & raptur\s flights ( ! s\l4 ,b
 ,i am glad t we surpass ! l>k 9 su/a9+ 
a f> m l5g?y & wond]ful flight2 & t we  
s+1 n d[nw>ds to an e>?ly love1 b upw>ds
 to a heav5ly4  ,to my m9d1 ?is is man's
 only ju/ification = consid]+ himself   
above ! bea/s--t we c love1 &           
communicate )1 ,god4 ,= :]e o!rwise is 8

 sup]iority8 ,he builds f9e build+s :i* 
crumble & decay4 ,he digs holes 9 ! e>? 
to take out treasures :i* he has n made2
 & if he makes himself ! v highe/ t[] ( 
weal? or fame1 he mu/ come d[n f x & be 
buri$ 9 ! e>? l any o!r c>case4  99 99  
99  ,x is bett] n to cont5d1 ei!r ) o!rs
 or aga9/ our own body4 ,if we cont5d   
aga9/ any?+ we impress x ! m firmly ^u  
our consci\sness4 ,s if we w\ld ov]come 
! lu/s ( ! body1 let u d x n by h>m+ or 
by cont5d+ aga9/ ! body1 :i* b          
emphasises its p[]s & importance1 b let 
u r proce$ to ignore & make little ( !  
body by =gett+ x & pass+ out ( x into   
high] ?+s2 & ev5tually we %all le>n to  
live1 n 9 ! l[] /ate1 b 9 ! joy ( ! s\l4
 ,:y h a contempt = ! body8 ,i once did1
 & f\nd t ,i 0 committ+ a great s9 aga9/
 ! ,mak] ( x4  ,h[ d>e we say my body is
 vile1 :5 ,he fa%ion$ x6 ,x is          
blasphem\s1 :5 we consid] t x is ,8     
,temple4  ,to my m9d ! body is a        
beautiful & wond]ful ?+1 & is greatly   
s9n$ aga9/ by our evil he>ts & m9ds &   

tongues4 ,! body w\ld d no h>m if we1 ) 
our free-w1 did n ?9k out ! wick$ness   
fir/ 9 our own he>ts4 ,= fir/ we commit 
!ft & adult]y ) ! m9d1 & !n we cause !  
body to c>ry out ^! ?+s4 ,we "k t ! body
 is "u ! law1 & its appetites are "u !  
law1 b ! he>t & m9d & tongue are        
p]petual break]s ( ?is law4 ,x is lawful
 = ! body to take its meat & dr9k1 b n  
to be surfeit$ & drunk54 ,x is lawful = 
! body to h its desires & its loves1 b n
 to be promiscu\s & unfai?ful4  ,b we "k
 t a bett] way is to turn all appetites 
& gre$s to ?is1 t we be gre$y & rav5\s =
 ,*ri/4 ,only s %all we use ! appetites 
( m9d & he>t & body = _! true end1 & t n
 by despis+ b by conv]sion4  ,) great   
insi/5ce ,i h be5 taught n to despise   
any?+ :atev] 9 ,creation ( ?+s made 9 ,8
 mo/ beautiful & wond]ful _w1 ?\gh (t5  
,i may cry ) te>s1 ,"l ,god6 raise me to
 a _w holi] & ne>] to ,?yself1 = ,i am  
he>tbrok5 "h4  ,yet ,i am taught only to
 despise su* ?+s z ly+1 deceitfulness1  
hypocrisy1 & uncleanness--9 fact1 /5*es 

( ! he>t & m9d1--& n to ?9k too mu* ab\t
 ^!1 b1 pass+ on1 drop out !            
recollection ( !m 9 ?\ghts ( f9] ?+s4   
,8 inw>d in/ruction has be5 ?is1 quietly
 to lay ^u "o side all t :i* is n pleas+
 to ,god2 & "o by "o1 & piece by piece1 
to fold up & put away all t ,he does n  
love4  ,above all1 ,he has taught me to 
h no self-e/eem & no prides2 & to su* a 
degree d ,i h to le>n ?is1 t1 )\t !     
smalle/ exagg]ation1 ,i am h>dly ev]    
able to ?9k myself ! equal ( a dog4 ,b !
 love ( a dog = 8 ma/] is a v f9e ?+4   
99 99 99  ,i ?9k we mi/ake our own p[] &
 capacity 9 ev5 seek+ to imitate !      
,*ri/2 let u beg9 r by tak+ into our    
he>t & our m9d ! ,*ri/ z ! ,man-,jesus4 
,= ,8 love & p[] only c %[ u ! way to   
imitate ! ,*ri/ :i* is 9 ,him4  99 99 99
  ,is ! tempor>y loss ( grace our fault1
 or is x a delib]ate )drawal & te/+ ^u  
,8 "p8 ,bo?4 ,e condition t we are 9 :i*
 is n pure & p]fect ( its k9d1 su* z    
pure peace1 pure joy1 pure h>mony1 is   
because ( failure on our "p to hold to  

,him4 ,:5ev]1 & = s long1 z we keep     
ourselves 9 ! s+le & simple condition ( 
m9d & he>t necess>y = ! p]ception &     
reception ( ,him1 = j s long %all we    
receive & p]ceive him2 b ?is condition  
aga9 we _c ma9ta9 )\t grace4 ,all loss (
 joy1 ( s]5ity1 ( contact1 is failure1  
!n1 on our "p or )drawal ^u ,84 ,yet we 
le>n a bitt] b useful lesson by ^!      
losses ( ability = connection4 ,to      
return ignom9i\sly to our du/ is a mo/  
bitt] humiliation & trial--inde$1 a     
desolation4 ,n[1 if we did n s return we
 might suppose ourselves able1 ( our own
 p[]1 n only to a*ieve mom5t>y          
connection ) ! ,div9e1 b to rema9 at w 9
 ?is sublime condition1 by :i* ,i mean 9
 a /ate bord]+ ^u ec/asy4 ,! )drawal (  
grace !re=e w\ld seem to be a necess>y  
"p ( ! education & ( ! con/ant humbl+ ( 
! s\l4 ,to f9d ourselves1 ( our own     
unaid$ capacity1 by ! m]e =ce ( our own 
w1 able to con/antly g up to s high a   
level w\ld inevitably fo/] pride2 inde$1
 to atta9 su* a capacity w\ld seem to   

place u on a level ) ! angels6  ,by ^!  
)drawals ( grace1 :i* came at fir/ v    
t5d]ly1 b gradually ) great] & great]   
sev]ity1 ,i h le>nt ?is3 t 9 spite ( all
 t has be5 done = me1 ( all t ,i h      
exp]i5c$1 9 spite ( all ! heights to :i*
 at times ,i h be5 rais$1 ,i rema9 no?+ 
bett] ?an ! fraile/ & unwor?ie/ ?+6 ,!  
sight ( an ugly grey cl\d1 mom5t>ily &  
glori\sly illum9$ by ! sun1 is a        
suffici5t illu/ration ( ! tempor>y      
trans=mation ( our own selves t\*$ by ! 
light & ! glory ( ,god4  ,= ! c>ry+ out 
( ,8 plan1 x w\ld seem to be ,8 good    
pleasure t we are j :at we are--n       
angels1 b little human ?+s1 full (      
simplicity & tru/ & love4 ,l de> *ildr51
 z ,/ ,paul says2 & yet1 oh6 wond] (    
wond]s6 f> m ?an ?is4 ,= :il/ we        
pati5tly wait1 f "t to "t ,he /oops &   
embraces ! s\l 9 an inf9ite bliss1 9 :i*
 we are no m *ildr51 b are caught up    
into ,high ,love4  ,at fir/ :5 we beg9  
?is new k9d ( liv+ ,he holds u firmly1 z
 x 71 to a condition suitable = contact 

) ,him4 ,if ,he did n d s1 hav+ _h no   
previ\s practice1 we %\ld nev] rema9 9 x
 = two mom5ts toge!r4 ,!n little by     
little ,he tea*es u to live ) less      
frequ5t joy1 & ?is is ! cause ( mu*     
difficulty & tr\ble4 ,x is h>d to endure
 be+ )\t ?is bless$ /ate & ^! m>vell\s  
fav\rs1 & m & m ,i f\nd ,he )drew !m    
:il/ (t5 my worldly & commonplace he>t &
 m9d /ill held me back--ev5 f peace4 ,if
 we c\ld b rid ourselves quickly ( all  
selfi% desires & gre$s6 ,n until ,i _h  
le>nt to d ?is 0 ,i giv5 back my joys1 &
 !n sp>+ly4  ,h[ ,i w\ld turn t[>ds t   
secret door--! door ( ! k+dom ( love1--&
 call+ to ,him1 he> no reply6 ,:]e is   
,he gone8--:y ?is des]tion8--,i w\ld    
cry4 ,h[ c ,he cause su* pa91 h[ c ,i   
be> su* dreadful deprivations1 & :at is 
love b a %>p sword8 ,"l1 let me he> ,?y 
voice1 = ,i am 9 despair2 ,i _c be> ^!  
pa9s1 ,i fe> = ev]y?+1 my joy is lo/4   
,my bread is spread ) bitt]ness2 :]e is 
! honey t ,i love s well8 ,"l1 call to  
me ev5 f f> away1 & ,i %all he> & be    

consol$4 ,"l1 ,i am sick & ill--h[ can/ 
,?\ leave me s8 ,ha/ ,?\ no pity = my   
pa98--is ?is ,?y love8 ,my pa96 ,"l1 ,i 
rememb]6 ,?\ ha/ be5 kiss$ by pa9 m     
frequ5tly ?an ,i4 ,oh1 let me wipe !    
memory ( ,?y pa9 away ) my w>m love1 &  
let me s+ to ,!e & be ,?y l>k1 & d ,?\ g
 & w&] :]e ,?\ wilt & ,i w love ,!e j ! 
same6 ,& s(tly ! ,voice ( ! ,belov$1    
say+3 ,i am "h1 ,i nev] left !e2 b ?\   
wa/ busy cry+ ( ?y pa9s & did n he> ,me 
:5 ,i answ]$ !e4 ,"l1 s ,i 06 ,i 0 s    
fill$ ) self1 &1 ask+ = ,?y gifts1 ,i   
did =get to give6 & s lo/ love4  99 99  
99  ,x is h>d to conqu] 9 small ?+s1    
petty irritations1 worries1 c>es ( ?is  
_w1 likes & dislikes--all ( ^! be+      
subtle temptations1 & all selfi%4 ,=    
in/ance1 v (t5 ,i f9d ! human voice !   
mo/ horrible ?+ t ,i "k6 ,i w be 9 a    
beautiful /ate ( m9d1 & p ar\nd me w    
drag me f x ) _! madd5+ inanities (     
conv]sation4 ,?is "o w speak ( ! wea!r1 
& t "o ( food2 ano!r ( sc&al1 ano!r (   
amusem5ts4 ,!y w talk ( _! love = a dog1

 = a horse1 = golf1 = m5 or wom52 b nev]
 d ,i he> at any "t1 or any:]e1 anyone  
speak ( _! love = ,god4 ,i mu/ li/5 to  
all _! loves1 b if ,i %\ld v5ture to    
speak ( m9e !y w\ld look at me amaz$2   
inde$1 ,i nev] %\ld d>e to d x4 ,& ?is  
is p]haps ! greate/ weakness t ,i h to  
fight aga9/ n[1 & "o t spoils ! h>mony (
 ! m9d m ?an any o!r--t ,i _c always    
control myself f secret ?\gh unspok5    
irritation1 impati5ce1 & criticisms2 &  
to criticise is to judge1 & 9 ?is !re is
 wrong1 & ! smalle/ breeze ( wrong is   
en\gh to bl[ to--ev5 to close--! door   
into t o!r lovely _w4 ,& n only ?is1 b e
 su* failure is a disappo9tm5t to !     
,belov$4 ,_m times ,i say to ,him1 ,:at 
can/ ,?\ d ) u all1 ,belov$--su* a mass 
( selfi%1 fooli%1 blund]+1 s9ful        
creatures1 all hang+ & pull+ on to ,!e  
at ! same mom5t8 ,& ,i w be fill$ ) a   
passionate desire to s progress t ,i may
 /& a little alone & n be a p]petual    
drag ^u ,him1 &1 feel+ /rong1 p]haps ,i 
w say3 ,i w give up my %>e ( ,!e to     

someone else1 & n draw ^u ,!e = a little
 :ile1 my ,belov$ ,"l4 ,b oh1 9 less ?an
 an h\r1 if ,he %\ld take me at my ^w6  
,i c\ld cry & moan l a small *ild1 9 my 
horrible empt9ess & long+ = ,him4 ,& :]e
 n[ is my /r5g?8--,i h n an ounce ( x   
)\t ,him6 ,by ?is ,i le>n 9 my own p]son
 h[ ,he is life itself to u1 9 all ways4
 ,he is ! air1 ! bread1 & ! blood ( !   
s\l1 & no "o c live )\t at e mom5t draw+
 ^u ,him1 ?\gh !y d x ins5sibly4 ,:at a 
weight to c>ry1 :at a burd51 ?is :ole   
hungry clam\r+ mass ( disob$i5t m5 &    
wom56 ,oh1 my ,belov$1 h[ frequ5tly ,i  
weep = all ,?y bitt] disappo9tm5t--nev] 
end+6  ,b ?is we may be sure (--t all ! 
m>vels ( ,8 grace are n p\r$ out on "s  
poor scrappit = no o!r reason ?an to    
give him pleasure4 ,!re is a va/ purpose
 beh9d x all1 & by ke5e/ att5tion we mu/
 pick up ?is purpose1 und]/& x1 & d x4  
,?is is ! true "w ( man1 to love ,god ) 
all ! he>t & m9d & s\l & /r5g?1 & n ^?  
mat]ial works ) :i* we all s easily     
satisfy ourselves & our consci5ces1 &   

our bodily ne$s4  ,he has m>vell\s ways 
7& v difficult to ! beg9n]7 ( convey+ ,8
 wi%es4 ,to my f9d+1 ! inw>d life ( u is
 l a p]petual int]*ange ( conv]sation   
betwe5 ! he>t & its _m desires & ! m9d  
7:i* = myself ,i put into ?ree p>ts--!  
intellig5ce1 ! w1 ! reason74 ,n[1 all ^!
 p>ts ( my he>t & ( my m9d =m]ly occupi$
 !mselves entirely ) worldly ?+s1 pass+ 
f "o ?+ to ano!r 9 mo/ disord]ly fa%ion2
 b n[ !y occupy !mselves 7save = bodily 
necessities7 solely ) ,him4 ,!re is a   
p]petual smoo? & beautiful conv]sation  
betwe5 !m to ,him & ( ,him2 & sudd5ly   
,he w seem to ent] into ?is conv]sation1
 sugge/+ ?\ghts :i* are n m9e4  ,(t5 ,he
 w /ab ! s\l1 b n ) words1 also ! he>t2 
& ,i h kn[n su* communications lie =    
weeks be=e !y c\ld be tak5 up by ! m9d1 
turn$ into words1 & f9ally z words be   
dige/$ by ! reason4 ,& ano!r way to !   
s\l only--r>e1 untransf]able to words1 &
 !re=e n transmittable to o!rs or to !  
reason4 ,?is way causes ! creature a    
great amazem5t1 & is l a flood+ or mov+ 

( :it5ess1 or an inw>dly-felt           
phosphoresc5ce2 x is a vitalis+         
m9i/ration greatly enjoy$ by ! s\l4 ,?is
 is n any ec/asy1 & is exce$+ly swift2 !
 s\l mu/ be at high att5tion to receive 
?is1 yet nei!r anticipates nor asks = x1
 b is 9 ! act ( giv+ great & joyful     
adoration4  99 99 99  ,i d n rememb] :5 
,i fir/ became fully consci\s t ! c5tre 
or seat ( my emotions 0 *ang$1 & t ,i n[
 respond$ to all ! exp]i5ces ( life only
 ) ! high] p>ts ( me4  ,?is *ange ,i    
f\nd inexplicable & rem>kable1 = x 0    
fundam5tal1 & yet nei!r int5d$ nor ?\ght
 ( by me4 ,) ?is alt]ation 9 ! physical 
correspond5ces to life came a           
correspond+ alt]ation 9 ! spiritual (   
me4  ,=m]ly ,i suppos$ t ! s\l dwelt 91 
or 0 ev5 a "p (1 ! m9d4 ,n[1 ?\gh ! m9d 
mu/ be fill$ :olly ) ,god1 & all o!r ?+s
 :atsoev] put out ( x if we w\ld        
contemplate ,him or respond to ,him1 yet
 nei!r ! bra9 nor ! intellig5ce ( !     
creature c come into any contact ) ,him2
 & ?is ,i soon le>nt4  ,correspond5ce ) 

! ,div9e is accompli%$ = ! creature     
?r\gh ! he>t & by ! upp]mo/ "p ( !      
brea/1 ?is latt] place 7above ! he>t &  
bel[ ! m9d7 is ! dwell+-place ( !       
cele/ial sp>k ( ! s\l1 :i* lies1 z x 71 
betwe5 two fires--t ( ! he>t & t ( !    
m9d1 respond+ directly to nei!r ( ^!1 b 
to ,god only4  ,be=e ,i 0 t\*$ ^u ! hill
 ,i 0 n aw>e ( ! locality ( any "p ( my 
s\l1 nei!r 0 !re any?+ :i* c\ld conv9ce 
me t ,i ev5 possess$ a s\l4 ,i did no m 
?an believe & suppose t ,i did possess  
"o4 ,b ! s\l1 once reviv$1 becomes ! mo/
 p[]ful & vivid "p ( our be+2 we are n  
able any long] to mi/ake its possession 
or position 9 ! body4 ,%e is inde$ !    
wond]ful & lovely mi/ress ( u1 ) :i*    
alone we c unlock ! my/]ies ( ,god's    
love4  99 99 99  ,h[ poor & cold a ?+ is
 m]e belief6 ,no long] d ,i believe 9   
,jesus ,*ri/3 ,i d possess ,him4 ,s     
complete is ! *ange t ,he br+s ab\t 9 u 
t ,i n[ only c\nt my life & my "t f !   
fir/ day ( ?is new ,god-consci\sness t  
,i receiv$ ^u ! hill1 = t 0 ! fir/ day (

 my real life2 j z =m]ly ,i w\ld c\nt my
 "t f ! fir/ day ( my physical bir?1 & f
 t on to my fall+ 9 love & to my        
m>riage1 :i* once seem$ to me to be !   
mo/ important dates4  ,:il/ ^! *anges 7 
tak+ place 9 me ,i w\ld (t5 be fill$ )  
uneas9ess & "s al>m2 ask+ myself :at all
 ?is c\ld mean1 & if x c\ld be ! way (  
m>tyrs or sa9ts1 = ,i _h no c\rage or   
lik+ to be "o or ! o!r & 0 v fright5$ ( 
suff]+4 ,& ,i ?9k my cunn+ he>t w\ld h  
lik$ to take all ! sweets & leave !     
bitt]4 ,h[ well ,he knew ?is1 & h[      
exquisitely ,he h&l$ me1 nev] =c+1 only 
look+ at me1 invit+ me ) ^? m>vell\s    
p]fections ( ,86 ,h[ c\ld ,i possibly   
resi/ ,him8 ,all ! :ile1 all my wak+    
h\rs1 ,i felt t /range1 new1            
incompreh5sible1 /eady1 insi/5t draw+ & 
urg5cy ( ! ,_s 9 me4 ,little by little  
,i w5t--& /ill g--t[>ds p]fection1 :il/ 
my c[>dly he>t endur$ _m fe>s1 b ^! are 
n[ pa/4 ,x 0 n any desire = my own      
salvation2 to ?is ,i h nev] giv5 s mu* z
 two ?\ghts4 ,x 0 ! irresi/ible         

attraction ( our m>vell\s & beautiful   
,god4 ,he lur$1 ,he drew me ) ,8        
lovel9ess1 ,8 holy p]fections1 ,8       
unutt]able purity4 ,i long$ to please   
,him4 ,! :ole e>? 0 fill$ ) ! glam\r (  
,him1 & ,i fill$ ) horror to see h[     
utt]ly unlike--ap>t f ! glori\s         
,belov$--,i 04 ,h[ frightful my         
blemi%es1 :i* mu/ /9k 9 ,8 no/rils6 ,?9k
 ( x6 ,to /9k 9 ! no/rils ( ! ,belov$6  
,:at lov] c\ld endure to d su* a ?+8 ,no
 ef=t c\ld be too great or pa9ful to    
beautify oneself = ,him4 ,9 ?is !re is  
no virtue2 x is ! driv+ necessity (     
love1 a necessity kn[n by e lov] wor?y (
 ! "n on e>?4 ,to please & obey ?is     
ineffable & exquisite ,be+6--! privilege
 intoxicat$ me m & m4  ,all ^! *anges 9 
my he>t & m9d cont9ually fill$ me )     
surprise1 = ,i 0 nev] pi\s1 ?\gh inw>dly
 & secretly ,i _h s ard5tly s\ght ,him4 
,i 0 att5tive1 humble1 & rev]5t1 no?+ m4
  ,b ?\gh ,i _h p]haps little or no     
piety1 & nev] read a s+le religi\s book1
 ,i _h _h a deep ?ir/ = ! p]fect & !    

holy & ! pure1 z ,i seem$ unable to f9d 
!m "h on ! e>?4 ,9 ! quiet solemnity (  
*ur*1 or "u ! blue skies1 ,i c\ld deta* 
myself f my surr\nd+s & rea* up & out ) 
wi/ful dimness t[>ds ! ineffable hol9ess
 & purity ( ,god--,god :o1 = me at lea/1
 rema9$ p]si/5tly s unatta9able4  ,& yet
 "o bless$ day ,i 0 to f9d ,him sudd5ly1
 all 9 "o glori\s h\r1 no long]         
unatta9able b imman5tly1 m>vell\sly ne>1
 & will+ to rema9 = me s /rangely       
p]man5tly ne> t ,i mu/ s+ sil5tly to    
,him f my he>t all ! day long--s+ to    
,him sil5tly1 because ev5 ! fa9te/ :isp]
 w\ld feel too gross & l\d betwe5 my s\l
 & ,him4 ,& 9 h\rs :5 ,i fall f ?is     
wond]ful e/ate ,i ?9k ,i come v ne>     
hell1 s awful is my loss4  ,our greate/ 
ne$ is to rele>n ! w ( ,god4 ,= we are s
 sep>at$ f ,him t we n[ look ^u ,8 ,w z 
on a cross1 z an incompreh5sible        
sacrifice1 z b self-abnegation1 pa91 &  
gloom4 ,we repudiate x 9 t]ror4  ,if we 
h ! w to rele>n ,8 ,w1 we /& /ill & ?9k 
( x1 we walk to seek x1 we try to accept

 x1 trembl+ we b[ d[n to x ) ob$i5ce &  
_m te>s2 & behold6 x *anges to an       
,invitation1 a sigh ( beauty1 a brea? ( 
spr+1 ! song ( birds1 ! faces ( fl[]s1 !
 ev]-asc5d+ spiral ( ! mat+ ( all loves1
 ! sun%9e ( ! ,univ]se2 & at la/1       
intoxicat$ ) happ9ess1 we say3 ,my ,god1
 my ,love1 ,i sip & dr9k ,?y ,w z an    
ambrosial ,w9e6  99 99 99  ,to ! lov] ( 
,god all affections g up & become       
enclos$1 z x 71 into "o affection1 :i*  
is ,himself2 s t we h no love = anyone  
or any?+ ap>t f ,him4 ,9 ?is is includ$1
 9 a mo/ deep & my/]i\s fa%ion1         
m>riage-love 9 all its aspects4 ,9 e way
 x c become a sacram5t3 !re is no?+ 9 x 
:i* is n holy1 9 no way does ! m>riage  
bond ( ! body sep>ate ! _s f            
acceptabl5ess to ,god4  ,b ,i 0 "s "t   
be=e ,i c\ld arrive at ?is1 & c\ld see  
m>riage z ! physical prototype 9 ?is    
physical _w ( ! spiritual union )       
,himself 9 ! spiritual _w4 ,& ?is 0     
arriv$ at1 n by prudi% que/ion+s &      
criticisms1 b by rememb]+ t ?is         

relation%ip betwe5 m5 & wom5 is ,8      
?\ght1 ,8 plan1 n ours4 ,we are         
responsible = our "p 9 x only 9 s f> z  
to keep ! bond ( x pure & clean & sweet1
 & submit ourselves 9 all ?+s z         
completely & ord]ly z possible to ,8    
plans1 :atev] !y may be4 ,9 ?is attitude
 ( unque/ion+1 unresi/+ submission1 !   
,holy ,_s f9ds a swift & easy *annel    
?r\gh u4 ,x is our opposition to !      
passage ( ! ,holy ,w :i* causes all !   
di/ress & uneas9ess ( life4 ,he has no  
wi% to impose di/ress & suff]+ ^u u4 ,8 
,w t[>ds u is pure joy1 pure love1 pure 
peace1 pure sweetness4 ,?is bond ( e>?ly
 m>riage is ( ! fle% & c be kept by !   
body1 & yet ! he>t1 m9d1 & s\l rema9 9  
lovely p]fect *a/ity2 & ,i f\nd t ?is   
exquisite fre$om--aft] prolong$         
endeav\rs on ! "p ( ! s\l & !           
creature--0 at l5g? giv5 !m z a gift by 
act ( grace1 & rema9$ 9 p]man5ce )\t    
v>iation4  99 99 99  ,we "k t ^! ?+s are
 deep my/]ies & l>gely hidd52 b ?is ,i  
"k3 z ! he>t feels love 9 itself = ,god1

 9 t same in/ant comes ,god into ! s\l (
 ! lov]4 ,n[1 :]e ,god is we "k t !re is
 nei!r evil1 nor sadness1 nor           
unhapp9ess1 nor any recollection ( su*  
?+s2 !re=e1 to be a great & con/ant lov]
 to ,him is to be automatically lift$ f 
all unhapp9esses4  ,?is is our wise/ &  
our be/ desire1 to be a spl5did lov] to 
our ,mo/ ,glori\s ,god4  ,! m ,i see ( &
 talk ) o!r p1 ! m ,i see h[ greatly    
*ang$ ,i am4 ,i am fre$4 ,!y are b\nd4  
,i f9d !m b\nd by fe>s1 by anxieties1 by
 worries1 by appreh5sions ( evil ?+s1 by
 sadness1 by fe>s ( dea? = _! lov$ ones 
or = !mselves4 ,n[1 we are fre$ ( all ^!
 ?+s if we keep to ! ,way1 :i* is !     
,road ( ,love4 ,?is *ange we d n br+    
ab\t = ourselves1 & d n p]haps ev5      
realise t x c be effect$4 ,= myself1 ,i 
seem$ to be lift$ into x1 or into a     
capacity = x1 on t day & 9 t mom5t 9 :i*
 ,i fir/ lov$ ,god4 ,?is is n to say t  
s9ce t mom5t ,i h n _h to /ruggle1      
suff]1 & endure1 to keep myself 91 &    
progress 9 ?is condition2 b my suff]+s1 

/ruggles1 & endurances1 be+ = love & 9  
love & because ( love1 7 & are 9        
!mselves beautiful1 & leave 9 !         
recollection no?+ inh>moni\s4 ,!y are ! 
difficult prelude to a glori\s melody4  
,ano!r ?+--we become by ?is love = ,him 
s l>ge t we seem to embrace )9 our own  
self ! ,univ]se6 ,9 "s my/]i\s mann] we 
become 9 sympa?y ) all ?+s 9 ! bond ( ,8
 mak+4  ,are ^! ?+s wor? no?+ :atev]1 t 
! majority ( p %\ld be cont5t to sp5d _!
 lives look+ = five-p\nd notes & ev5    
%ill+s--& ?is n only ! poor1 b ! ri* m  
s8 ,i am f> m at a loss to und]/& my    
fell[-m5 ?an ,i am to und]/& ,god4 ,we h
 ne$ ( ! %ill+s1 b ( o!r & m lovely ?+s 
besides1 :i* co/ no money & may be _h by
 ! poore/4 ,x is rapidly becom+ ! only  
sorr[ ( my life t p d n all come to %>e 
?is ,life 9 :i* ,i live4 ,h[ t p>able   
knocks at ! he>t1 ,g out into ! highways
 & ! h$ges & compel !m to come 96 ,to "k
 all ?is fullness ( life & n to be able 
to br+ ev5 my ne>e/ & de>e/ into x3 :at 
a t]rible my/]y is ?is6--x is an agony4 

,n[1 9 ?is agony ,i %>e ! ,agony (      
,jesus4 ,?is is a "p ( ! ,cross1 & only 
! ,fa!r c make x /raight4 ,i see ,heav5 
held out1 & refus$2 love held out1 &    
refus$2 p]fection %[n1 & kill$ ^u a     
cross4 ,:at is ! crucifix b t mo/ awful 
( all ?+s--! ,grief ( ,god made         
,visible8 ,p]fect ,love submitt+ itself 
to ! vile freewill ( man & dy+ ( w\nds6 
,my ,god6 my ,god6 & did ,i ev] h a h& 9
 su* a ?+8 ,i did4  99 99 99  ,:at is x 
t seems m ?an any o!r ?+ :atev] to ?r[ u
 at la/ into ! arms ( ,god8 ,suff]+4 ,& 
?is n because x is ,8 w 7= h[ mu* r w\ld
 ,he h u turn to ,him 9 our joy &       
prosp]ity71 b r t x is our w1 t 9 our   
e>?ly joys & prosp]ities we turn away f 
,him1 & only seek ,8 consolations :5 we 
see ! failure ( our heal? or happ9ess4  
,& hav+ by ,8 m]cy & =giv5ess f\nd ,him1
 we too (t5 & too easily ?9k to glorify 
ourselves & "n ea* o!r sa9ts6 ,did      
,jesus call u sa9ts8 ,^! glorifications 
mank9d w\ld appe> to be/[ ^u itself4 ,he
 spoke ( ,8 flock1 & ( ^? :o ?r\gh ,him 

%\ld h life et]nal1 & ( ^? :o1 because (
 ! road !y take1 h _! joys 9 ?is _w     
only4  99 99 99  ,:5 ,i 0 be+ taught to 
pray = national ?+s & = o!r p]sons1 &   
f\nd ^! pray]s answ]$1 ,i 0 incl9$ to be
 afraid2 ?9k+1 ,:at am ,i t ,i %\ld d>e 
to petition ! ,mo/ ,high8 ,b ,he %[$ x  
me s1 :i*1 z 9 ev]y?+1 is = all ( u3 ,x 
is b a cl\d :i* reflects ! glories ( !  
promise ( ,my ra9b[2 s c ! du/1 su* z   
?yself1 reflect yet o!r fa%ions ( ,my w 
& glory4 ,!re is no presumption 9 ! cl\d
 t x %\ld gl[ ) ,my p[]2 nei!r is !re   
presumption 9 ?y du/ t x %\ld be ,my    
vehicle4 ,bo? ! cl\d & ?y du/ are ,m9e4 
99 99 99  ,z we progress 9 ?is new way (
 liv+ we f9d an increas+ difficulty 9   
ma9ta9+ petition2 = on comm5c+ to       
petition we w almo/ inv>iably be        
in/antly lift$ up to su* a /ate (       
adoration t ! :ole s\l is no?+ b a burn+
 song1 a ?+ ( liv+ wor%ip4 ,at fir/ ,i 0
 incl9$ to blame myself1 b n[ ,i "k t x 
is acceptable = u to pass f petition+   
7no matt] :o or :at =7 to high          

adoration1 ev5 ?\gh x is a great p]sonal
 indulg5ce 7& ! petition+ is a h>d      
task7--an indulg5ce s extreme t ,i _c   
call to my m9d any?+ 9 any exp]i5ce or  
"t ( my life1 except+ actual raptures1  
:i* c\ld1 or c1 9 any way comp>e or be  
nam$ 9 ! same brea? ) ?is mo/ m>vell\s  
joy2 = out ( ?is joy ( adoration fl[s ! 
,song ( ! ,s\l4  ,& all ^! previ\s ye>s 
( my life ,i h liv$ ) ! great] "p ( me  
dead1 & mo/ p]sons ! same6 ,! m ,i ?9k (
 x1 ! m amaz$ ,i am at our folly--work+ 
& frett+1 & /riv+ & look+ = e k9d ( ?+  
except ! "o ?+1 beautiful1 ne$ful1 &    
liv+1 :i* is ! f9d+ ( ! p]sonal         
connection betwe5 ourselves & ,god & !  
,wat]s ( ,life4  ,look+ to my own       
exp]i5ces1 ,i see cle>ly h[ ,i nev] c\ld
 h f\nd )\t ! mo/ p[]ful & incessant    
assi/ance4 ,we are1 !n1 nev] alone4 ,b  
fir/ we mu/ h ! w to seek ^! wat]s4 ,?is
 is ! secret ( ! :ole matt]4 ,he c turn 
! vile/ into a pure lov]--if ! vile/ be 
will+ to h ! miracle p]=m$ on him6 ,?is 
is ! grace ( ,god1 & :at does x co/ ,him

 to p\r out ?is mighty p[] ?r\gh u8 ,=  
ev]y?+ has its price4 ,my ,"l6 my ,"l6  
we are n wor?y ( x all4  ,?is ,i notice1
 t :5 ,he removes ?is grace1 v %ortly ! 
m9d goes back to a false1 unev51        
inh>moni\s /ate2 s we become l an       
in/rum5t all out ( tune1 & are caus$    
indescribable suff]+s1 l a musician ^:  
e>s & n]ves are tortur$ by false notes1 
:il/ 8 unmusical neighb\rs feel no pa96 
,! musician pays a price = ! privilege (
 8 great gift2 s ! lov] ( ,*ri/4  ,aga91
 !re is a price to pay = ! immeasurable 
joy ( pray]1 = pray]s are n always sweet
 nor life-giv+4 ,! pray]s to ,*ri/ are  
always a refre%m5t1 b pray]s to ! ,fa!r 
may sudd5ly be turn$ )\t any previ\s    
?\ght or private int5tion into a mo/    
awful grief = ! abom9ations ( ! :ole _w 
( u1 a t]rible wordless burnt-sacrifice 
( ! s\l1 ( unspeakable angui%4 ,& high  
petition+ is a fe>ful & pr(\nd /ra9 ^u !
 s\l & ! :ole creature4  99 99 99  ,we  
say t we h ne$ ( ! purification &       
conv]sion ( ! s\l2 b r x is fir/ !      

conv]sion ( ! he>t1 m9d1 & w t we h ne$ 
(4 ,= ?is w\ld feel to be ! drama ( our 
life--! human he>t1 intellig5ce1 & w are
 ! ego ( ! creature4 ,our s\l is !      
visitor )9 ?is creature1 conta9+ )9     
h]self a pure1 holy1 & incorruptible    
sp>kle ( ! ,div9e1 & lies *ok$ &        
atrophi$ 9 h] human h\se until reviv$ & 
awak5$ by h] holy lov]2 & ?is awak5+ is 
n giv5 to h] till ! he>t & m9d ( h]     
human h\se 7or ! w & _s ( ! creature7 is
 9 a /ate ( reg5]ation1 or condition to 
g =w>d t[>ds ,god4 ,:i* is to say1 !    
creature has be5 t\*$ by rep5tance & a  
desire = ! pure & ! holy4 ,= if ! s\l   
%\ld be awak5$ to an unrep5tant         
creature1 ?is ,w & imp]i%able worm ( !  
creature 7:i* is ( great] co>s5ess &    
lu/9ess ?an ! delicate & fragile s\l7 w 
ov]come ! s\l2 & ?is is n ! goal1 nei!r 
is ! dea? ( ! creature ! goal1 b ! lift+
 up ( ! creature into ! ,div9e--?is is !
 goal4  ,aft] be+ awak5$1 !n1 9 h] human
 h\se1 ! s\l f9ds h]self lock$ 9 ) two  
mo/ trea*]\s & soil$ companions--! human

 he>t & m9d2 & s great is h] loa?+ & h] 
di/ress1 t = %ame's sake ^! two are     
con/ra9$ to improve !mselves4 ,b _!     
progress is sl[1 & n[ comes a long &    
pa9ful "t ( alt]nation betwe5 two /ates4
 ,at "o "t ! s\l w conqu] ! creature1   
impos+ ^u x a sov]eign beauty ( hol9ess2
 & at ano!r ! creature w conqu] ! s\l1  
impos+ ^u h] its hide\s designs &       
desires1 & caus+ h] _m sicknesses4 ,h5ce
 we h ! w>r+ :i* we feel )9 ourselves1 =
 ! s\l n[ desires h] home & ! creature  
its appetites4  ,until ?is awak5+ ( !   
s\l takes place1 we mi/ake 9 ?9k+ t we  
ei!r live ) our s\l1 or "k our s\l1 or  
feel ) our s\l4 ,%e does b /ir )9 u f "t
 to "t1 awak+ /range e*oes t we d n     
compreh5d2 & we live ) ! m9d & ! he>t & 
! body only--:i* is to say1 we live z ! 
creature2 & ?is is :y on ! complete     
awak5+ ( ! s\l we feel 9 ! creature an  
imm5se & altoge!r indescribable         
enhancem5t ( life & ( all our faculties1
 s t 9 great amazem5t we say1 ,i h nev] 
liv$ until ?is day4 ,:5 fir/ ! w ( !    

creature is :olly submitt$ to ! lovely  
guidance ( ! div9e "p ( ! s\l1 !n fir/  
we "k ! ineffable joys ( ! _w ( free _s4
 ,= to live ) ! m9d & ! body is to be 9 
a /ate ( exi/5ce 9 nature4 ,b to live ) 
! s\l is to live above nature1 9 !      
immeasurable fre$om & int5sity ( ! _s4  
,& ?is is ! trem5d\s task ( ! s\l--t %e 
help to r$eem ! he>t & m9d f _! vil5ess 
( ! creature & s lift ! human upw>ds )  
h]self to ! ,div9e f :5ce %e came4 ,?is1
 !n1 is ! transmutation or evolution by 
div9e means ( ! human into ! div9e2 & = 
?is we ne$ to seek rep5tance or *ange ( 
he>t & m9d1 :i* is ! w ( ! creature     
turn+ itself t[>ds ! beauties ( ! _s1 t 
,*ri/ may awak5 9 u ! glories ( t sleep+
 s\l :i* is ,8 bride4  ,:5 ! s\l is     
fully reviv$ we c "k x by ?is1 t we are 
n able any long] to cont5t ourselves )  
any?+ nor anyone save ,god4 ,nei!r are  
we able to love any save ,god1 = all    
human desires & loves my/]i\sly asc5d & 
are m]g$ into ! ,div9e4 ,s1 ?\gh we love
 our fri5d1 we love him 9 ,god1 & 9 e   

man p]ceive b ano!r lov] = ! ,belov$4   
99 99 99  ,to love ,god might comm5ce to
 be express$ z be+ a great quiet1 an    
int5se activity1 a prodigi\s joy1 & !   
poignant k ( ! imm5sity ( an amaz+ new  
life %>$4  ,! contemplation ( ,god might
 be express$ z ! fold+ up or complete   
=getfulness ( all e>?ly & bodily ?+s1   
desires1 & attractions1 & ! rais+ ( !   
he>t & m9d & ! c5tr+ ( !m 9 great &     
joyful int5sity ^u ,god1 by means (     
love4 ,( ?is contemplation ( ,god ,i f9d
 two pr9cipal =ms3 ! passive & ! active4
 ,9 ! fir/ we are 9 a /ate ( /eady1     
quiet1 & lov+ p]ception & reception1 &  
at "s f>ness2 9 ?is we are able to rema9
 = h\rs1 ent]+ ?is /ate :5 wak+ at dawn 
& rema9+ 9 x till ris+4  ,9 active      
contemplation we are 9 raptur\s &       
passionate adoration ) great ne>ness1 & 
are n able to rema9 9 x long because (  
bodily weakness4 ,! s\l feels to be nev]
 tir$ by ! longe/ flight1 b mu/ return  
because ( ! exhau/ion ( ! =lorn & wret*$
 creature1 :i* creature is complete 9   

itself1 hav+ its body1 ( :i*1 be+ able  
to t\* x1 we say1 ,x is my body1 & its  
he>t & m9d ) intellig5ce1 ( :i* we are  
wont to ?9k1 ,?is is myself2 yet x is b 
a "p1 = ! intellig5ce ( our creature is 
by no means ! intellig5ce ( ! div9e s\l1
 b a f> less] light3 = ) ! intellig5ce (
 ! div9e s\l we rea* out to ,god & atta9
 ,him1 b ) ! intellig5ce ( ! creature we
 rea* t[>ds ,him b d n atta91 = ) x we  
are unable to p5etrate ! veil4 ,!re=e1  
:o w\ld "k ! joys ( contemplation mu/   
come to !m by love1 = love is ! only    
means by :i* ! creature c atta94 ,! s\l 
atta9s ,god z h] bir?right1 b ! creature
 by adoption & r$emption1 & ?is ?r\gh   
love4 ,by love ! creature dies & is     
reborn into ! _s4  99 99 99  ,! ^w      
pov]ty1 z us$ to express a necess>y     
condition ( our com+ to ,god1 is a mo/  
mislead+ t]m4 ,= h[ c any condition be  
rightly nam$ pov]ty :i* br+s u into !   
ri*es ( ,god8 ,r let u use ! words      
s+l5ess ( he>t1 or simplicity3 :i* is to
 say1 we put out all o!r int]e/s save ^?

 pleas+ to ,god 7to comm5ce )71 &       
aft]w>ds we rea* ! condition 9 :i* we h 
no int]e/s b 9 ,god ,himself--! he>t &  
m9d & w ( ! creature becom+ :olly       
,god's1 & ,god fill+ !m4 ,h[ c we say1  
!n1 t x is pov]ty to be fill$ ) ,god6 ,r
 is x rightly express$ z be+ a he>t fix$
 9 s+l5ess ^u ,god1 ?r\gh dra/ic        
simplification ( int]e/s3 ! :i* is no   
pov]ty1 b ! weal? ( all ! ,univ]se4  99 
99 99  ,"s ( u seem op5 to sugge/ion1   
o!rs to ! /eadi] effects ( p]sonal      
influ5ce4 ,i nev] came "u ! p]sonal     
influ5ce ( ano!r except once1 :5 ,i came
 "u ! influ5ce ( ! be+ ,i lov$ mo/--my  
bro!r4 ,at t5 he sav$ my life f dr[n+1 &
 at eighte5 8 influ5ce & total lack (   
fai? 9 ,god1 c\pl$ ) ! se>*+s & prob+s (
 my own intellig5ce1 took me away f     
,god1 9 :om ,i _h previ\sly _h a        
com=table fai?4 ,at sev5te5 ,i began to 
lap up ! h>de/ sci5tific books z a cat  
laps milk4 ,i said to myself1 ,i mu/ f9d
 tru?1 ,i mu/ f9d out :at ev]y?+ really 
is2 b ,i c\ld n reconcile sci5ce ) ,*ur*

 tea*+4 ,i 0 n able to adju/ ! tru?s (  
sci5ce--:i* 7 demon/rable to bo? s5ses &
 intellig5ce--) ! unprovable dogmas set 
=? by ! ,*ur* z necess>y to salvation4  
,i sl[ly & surely lo/ :at fai? ,i _h1 & 
hung a )]$ he>t ^u ! pitiless & nameless
 bosom ( ! ,cosmos4 ,inw>d life became =
 me a horrible empt9ess )\t hope4       
,surr\nd$ ) gaieties & ! innum]able     
social successes ( y\?1 ,i f\nd t nei!r 
sci5ce nor society c\ld satisfy my s\l1 
or t some?+ liv+ )9 me :i* knew a       
t]rible necessity = ,god4 ,= two long & 
dreadful ye>s ,i f\ght secretly &       
desp]ately to rega9 ?is lo/ belief1 & :5
 at la/ ,i succe$$ !re rema9$ a mon/r\s 
& imp5etrable wall betwe5 myself & ,god4
 ,b by comp>ison ) ! horrors ( pa/      
lonel9ess x 0 heav5 to me to feel ,him  
!re1 ev5 beh9d t wall4 7,n[ t ,i h f\nd 
,him by love1 ,i am able to return to   
sci5ce z to a mo/ exquisite unroll+ ( ! 
maje/y ( ,8 tru?s & p[]s & laws1 & am   
br\ght ne>] & ne>] to ,him ! m ,i le>n (
 sci5ce47 ,outside ! wall ,i rema9$ = m 

?an tw5ty ye>s1 seek+ & se>*+ = an op5+ 
9 t mighty b>ri]4  ,& aft] m ?an tw5ty  
ye>s ,i f\nd ! ,door--& x 0 ,jesus      
,*ri/4  99 99 99  ,lately ,i h se5 ! ^w 
contemplation us$ z express+ ! heights (
 atta9m5t 9 ,god-consci\sness ( m51 & ,i
 f9d x inadequate4 ,f ! age ( sev5te5 ,i
 fell into ! habit ( contemplation1 n ( 
,god1 b ( ,nature3 :i* is to say1 ,i    
w\ld fir/ place myself1 sitt+1 9 su* a  
position t my body w\ld n fall & ,i     
might completely =get x1 & !n w\ld look 
ab\t me & dr9k 9 ! beauty ( ! sc5e1 my  
eyes com+ f9ally to re/ ^u ! spot mo/   
beautiful to me4 ,!re !y rema9$ fix$4   
,all ?\ghts 7 n[ fold$ up s t my m9d1   
fl[+ s+ly 9 "o direction1 conc5trat$    
itself ^u ! beauty on :i* ,i gaz$4 ,?is 
soon vani%$1 & ,i saw no?+ :atev]1 b1   
be>+ away into a place ( complete sil5ce
 & empt9ess1 ,i !re assimilat$ & enjoy$ 
inw>dly ! so>+ ess5ce ( ! beauty :i* ,i 
_h previ\sly drawn into my m9d ?r\gh my 
eyes1 be+ n[ no long] consci\s ( see+   
outw>dly1 b liv+ entirely f ! inw>d4    

,?is ,i did almo/ e day1 b to d x ,i 0  
oblig$ to seek solitude1 & absolute     
solitude is a h>d ?+ to f9d2 b ,i s\ght 
x1 no matt] :]e1 ev5 9 a *ur*y>d6 ,i saw
 no graves4 ,i saw ! sky1 or a m>vell\s 
cl\d p9k ) ! kisses ( ! sun1 & away ,i  
w5t4 ,i judge ?is n[ to h be5           
contemplation1 ?\gh ,i nev] ?\ght ( x by
 s f9e-s\nd+ a "n2 x 0 only my          
delightful pa/ime1 yet !re 0 a /range   
inexpressible sadness 9 x4 ,nature &    
beauty 7 n en\gh4 ,! m beauty ,i saw1 ! 
m ,i long$ = some?+ to :i* ,i c\ld n put
 a "n4 ,at times ! a*e ( ?is pa9 became 
t]rible1 almo/ agonis+1 b ,i c\ld n =go 
my pa/ime4 ,n[1 at la/1 ,i "k :at ?is   
pa9 03 my s\l look$ = ,god1 b my        
creature did n "k x4 ,= j 9 ?is same way
 we contemplate ,god1 sav\r+ ,him )\t   
see+ ,him1 & be+ fill$ to ! brim )      
m>vell\s delights ) no sadness4  ,b ?is 
condition ( contemplation is v f> f be+ 
! m\nta9-top2 x is b a high plateau f   
:i* we make ! f9al asc5t4 ,! summit is  
an indescribable contact1 & ?is summit  

is n "o summit b _m summits4 ,:i* is to 
say1 we h contact ( sev]al sep>ate      
=ms--t ( giv+1 t ( receiv+1 & t (       
imm]sion or absorption1 :i* at its      
highe/ is altoge!r un5durable z fire4   
,( ?is la/ ,i am able only to say ?is3 t
 n only is x inexpressible by any words1
 b t t :i* is a /ate ( extreme beatitude
 to ! s\l is dea? to ! creature by      
excess ( joy4 ,!re=e bo? he>t & m9d fe> 
to recall any details ( ! memory ( ?is  
highe/ atta9m5t4 ,i knew x b once4 ,to  
"k x aga9 w\ld be ! dea? ( my body4 ,= m
 ?an two h\rs 7z well z ,i am able to   
judge7 be=e com+ to ?is highe/ exp]i5ce1
 my s\l travell$ ?r\gh :at felt to be an
 ocean1 = %e rose & fell ^u bill[s 9 a  
/ate ( inf9ite bliss4  ,( o!r =ms (     
contact we h a swift1 unexpect$1 ev5    
uns\ght-= atta9m5t1 :i* is entirely ( ,8
 volition2 t sudd5 condesc5sion to !    
s\l1 9 :i* 9 unspeakable rapture %e is  
caught up to h] holy lov]4  ,^! are !   
topmo/ heights :i* ! creature d>e       
recall1 ?\gh to ! s\l !y rema9 9 memory 

z life itself4 ,! v>iations ( ^! =ms (  
contact are inf9ite1 = ,god w\ld seem to
 w to be bo? et]nal *angelessness &     
v>iation 9 inf9itude4  ,because ( ?is1 &
 ! m>vell\s dep?s & heights & bread?s ( 
life reveal$ to h]1 ! s\l is able to    
conceive ( an et]nity ( bliss1 =        
monotony ceases to be joy4 ,9 ,nature we
 see t no two trees 9 a =e/ are alike1 &
 two fruits ga!r$ f "o b\gh h n ! same  
flav\r4  ,b to my feel+ all degrees (   
atta9m5t are only to be di/+ui%$ z v>y+ 
degrees ( union1 ! joy ( :i* is ( a =m &
 a degree ( int5sity & purity :i* c ent]
 nei!r ! he>t nor ! m9d to imag9e1 b mu/
 be exp]i5c$ to be und]/ood1 & :5       
exp]i5c$ rema9s 9 "p incompreh5sible4 ,x
 is n to be obta9$ by =ce ( ! w1 nei!r c
 x be obta9$ )\t ! w4 ,x is1 !n1 a my/]y
 ( two wills 9 unison1 9 :i* our w is   
tempor>ily fus$ into & consum$ by ! w ( 
,god & is 9 transports ( felicity ov]   
its own annihilation6 ,?is is outside   
reason & !re=e incompreh5sible to !     
creature1 b compreh5sible to ! s\l1 &   

becomes ! aim & object ( our life to    
atta9 9 p]man5ce1 & is ! utt]mo/ limit (
 all conceivable rapture4  ,:5 ,i fir/  
knew union & contact ^u ! hill ,i _h !  
impression ( a v great light outside (  
me4 ,i nev] aga9 _h an outw>d impression
 ( x4  ,b :5 any s5se ( inw>d light is  
felt ,i consid] x to be a high ec/asy & 
h>d = ! body4 ,x is ! sweet & g5tle     
t\*+s ( ,*ri/ :i* are ! great &         
unspeakable com=t ( bo? s\l & body4     
,inw>d heat ,i nev] felt till _m mon?s  
aft] my ?ird conv]sion & m ?an f\r ye>s 
f my fir/ conv]sion4 ,?is extraord9>y   
s5sation1 :i* to my m9d is l a magnetic 
see?+ ) heat & ravi%m5t ( joy1 ,i felt  
inw>dly only aft] ,i _h le>nt to "k a   
sudd51 secret1 joy\s delight ( love 9 ! 
s\l1 :i* is easie/ describ$ z sweetness 
( love1 is f ! ,*ri/1 & v frequ5tly giv5
 by ,him4 ,& "s six mon?s aft] ! heat1  
fire1 electric see?+1 or h[ev] be/ x may
 be nam$1 ,i fir/ knew ! song ( ! s\l4  
,n[1 al?\gh x is bett] n to dwell ^u !  
memory ( pa/ spiritual joys1 le/ we     

become gre$y1 & equally wise n to dwell 
^u ! memory ( angui%es1 le/ we fall into
 self-pity1 :i* ( all emotions is ! mo/ 
sickly & useless 7& our wise/ is to live
 only f h\r to h\r ) all ! sweetness t  
we c1 leav+ to ,him ! *oos+ ( our daily 
bread1 :e!r x be high joy or pa971 /ill 
,i confess t ,i h ?\ght ov] & comp>$ ^! 
joys suffici5tly to "k v well :i* ,i    
love ! be/4 ,heat ( love is v wond]ful1 
& sweetness is v lovely1 & raptures &   
ec/asies are outside words2 b mo/       
beautiful ( all is ! song ( ! s\l1 & ?is
 is :5--9 highe/ adoration--pass+ beyond
 heat1 & fur!r ?an sweetness1 ! s\l goes
 up alone ^u ! highe/ summit ( love1 &  
!re l a bird p\rs out ! raptur\s & gold5
 passion ( h] love4 ,& ,8 ,_s1 bid+ v   
ne>1 nev] t\*es h]2 = if ,he t\*1 x is  
at once an ec/asy1 & because ( ! /ress (
 ?is %e w\ld h nei!r words nor song )   
:i* to rejoice ,him4  ,oh1 ! pure       
happ9ess ( ! s\l 9 ?is wond]ful song6   
,truly ,i ?9k x is great] ?an 9 !       
rapture or ! ec/asy1 because 9 ^! ! s\l 

receives1 b 9 ! song1 m\nt+ "r up to    
,him1 %e gives4 ,& n[ at la/ we "k !    
full] mean+ ( ,*ri/'s words :]e ,he     
says3 ,x is m bless$ to give ?an to     
receive4  ,belov$1 ,?\ take/ ! creature 
& lifte/ x up2 ,?\ take/ ! creature &   
lifte/ x high1 s t nev]more c x (f5d    
,!e1 & ! s\l is free to s+ ( h] love4   
,!n is x ,?y w t ! creature %\ld love   
,!e8 ,or is x ,?y w t ! s\l %\ld adore8 
,belov$1 ,i "k n :e!r ) my he>t & m9d ,i
 mo/ adore ,!e1 or :e!r ) my s\l ,i love
 ,!e m4 ,& :]e is t secret try/+-place (
 love8 ,i d n "k2 = :il/ ,i g !re & :il/
 ,i return ,i am bl9d1 & :il/ ,i am !re 
,i am bl9d$ by ,love ,himself4  ,o      
wondr\s try/+-place ,i :i* is inde$ !   
only try/+-place ( all ! _w wor?y to be 
nam$4  ,= e o!r love on e>? is b a poor1
 pale c\nt]feit ( love--a wan ,ophelia1 
w&]+ ) a g>l& ( sad p]i%$ fl[]s to cr[n 
! du/4  99 99 99  ,z ! lov+ creature    
progresses he w f9d himself ceas+ to    
live 9 ?+s1 or ?\ghts ( ?+s or ( p]sons1
 b 8 :ole m9d & he>t w be conc5trat$ ^u 

! ?\ght ( ,god alone4 ,n[ ,jesus1 n[ !  
,high ,*ri/1 n[ ! ,fa!r1 b nev] away f  
"o ( ! aspects or p]sonalities ( ,god1  
?\gh 8 conditions ( ne>ness w v>y4 ,= at
 times he w be 9 a condition ( great    
ne>ness1 at times 9 a condition ( "s    
f>ness1 or1 m prop]ly speak+1 (         
obscurity4 ,he w be 9 a condition (     
wait+ 7?is exce$+ly frequ5t1 ! mo/      
frequ5t ( all72 a condition ( amaz+     
happ9ess2 a condition ( pa91 (          
desolation at be+ /ill ^u ! e>? in/ead (
 ) ,god4 ,he w be 9 a condition ( giv+  
love to ,god1 or a condition ( receiv+  
love1 ( remembrance & att5tion4 ,he w be
 9 a condition ( immeasurable glam\r1 an
 extraord9>y illum9ation ( e faculty1 n 
by any act ( 8 own1 b p\r$ ?r\gh him    
until he is fill$ ) ! elixir ( "s new =m
 ( life1 & feels himself be=e ^!        
exp]i5ces nev] to h liv$--he b exi/$ z a
 "p ( ,nature4 ,b n[1 al?\gh he is      
become m unit$ to ,nature ?an ev] be=e1 
he also is my/]i\sly drawn ap>t f h]1   
)\t be+ 9 any way presumptu\s1 he feels 

to be above h]1 n by any m]its b by     
int5tion ( ,ano!r4 ,he is become lift$  
up into ! _s & ess5ce ( ,nature1 & !    
heavy & m obvi\s p>ts ( h] b9d him no m4
 ,he is 9 a condition ( fre$om1 he is   
frequ5tly 9 a condition ( great spl5d\r1
 & is wrapp$ p]petually r\nd ab\t ) t   
mo/ glori\s mantle--,god-consci\sness4  
,^! are man's "r & prop] conditions4 ,^!
 are ! lovely w ( ,god = u4 ,& too _m ( 
u h ! w to g contr>y to ,him4 ,oh1 !    
trag$y ( x6 ,if ! :ole _w ( m5 & wom5   
c\ld be ga!r$ & lift$ into ?is g>d5 (   
love6 ,p]suad$ to rise f less] loves    
into ! bosom ( ,8 mighty ,love6  ,= !   
truly lov+ s\l "h on e>? !re are no     
long] heav5s1 nor conditions ( heav5s1  
nor grades1 nor cr[ns1 nor angels1 nor  
ar*angels1 nor sa9ts1 nor holy spirits2 
b1 go+ out & up & on1 we rea* at la/ ,,!
 ,,"o1 & = m>vell\s unspeakably glori\s 
mom5ts ,,"k ,,him4  ,?is is life3 to be 
9 ,him & ,he 9 u1 & "k x4  99 99 99  ,^!
 beautiful flights ( ! s\l _c be tak5   
?r\gh idl5ess1 ?\gh !y are tak5 9 :at   

w\ld outw>dly appe> to be a great       
/illness4 ,?is /illness is b ! necess>y 
ab/raction f physical activity1 ev5 f   
physical consci\sness2 b inw>dly ! _s is
 9 a great activity1 a v f]m5t ( secret 
"w4 ,?is1 to ! writ]1 is frequ5tly      
produc$ by ! beautiful 9 ,nature1 ! _s  
involunt>ily pass+ at sight ( beauty    
into a passionate admiration = ! ,mak] (
 x4 ,?is high1 pure emotion1 :i* is also
 an int5se activity ( ! _s1 w\ld seem s 
to e!realise ! creature t in/antly !    
delicate s\l is able to escape h] loos5$
 bonds & flies t[>ds h] home1 fill$ )   
ineffable1 incomp>able delight1 prais+1 
s++1 & joy+ 9 h] ,"l & ,god until ! body
 c endure no m1 & swiftly %e mu/ return 
to bondage 9 x4 ,b ! mo/ wond]ful       
flights ( ! s\l are made dur+ a high    
ador+ contemplation ( ,god4 ,we are 9   
high contemplation :5 ! he>t1 m9d1 &    
s\l1 hav+ dropp$ consci\sness ( all     
e>?ly matt]s1 h be5 br\ght to a full    
conc5tration ^u ,god--,god totally      
invisible1 totally unimag$1 & yet       

focuss$ to a c5tre-po9t by ! great p[] (
 love4 ,! s\l1 :il/ %e is able to ma9ta9
 ?is mo/ difficult height (             
contemplation1 may be visit$ by an      
int5sely vivid p]ception1 inw>d vision1 
& k ( ,god's attributes or p]fections1 v
 brief2 & ?is z a gift1 = %e is n able  
to w su* a felicity to h]self1 b be+    
giv5 su* %e is in/antly consum$ )       
adoration1 & ent]s ec/asy4  ,hav+ a*iev$
 ^! degrees ( progress1 ! he>t & m9d w  
say3 ,n[ ,i may surely repose1 = ,i h   
atta9$6 ,& s we may repose1 b n 9       
idl5ess1 :i* is to say1 n )\t abundance 
( pray]4 ,= only by pray] is our        
condition ma9ta9$ & r5ew$2 b )\t pray]1 
by :i* ,i mean an incessant inw>d       
communion1 quickly our condition *anges 
& we>s away4 ,no matt] to :at degree (  
love we h atta9$1 we ne$ to pray = m2   
)\t p]si/5t b %ort pray] = fai? & love  
we might fall back into /range woeful   
p]iods ( cold obscurity4  ,to !         
accompli%$ lov] great & wond]ful is     
pray]2 ! m completely ! m9d & he>t are  

lift$ up 9 x1 ! sl[] ! word+4 ,! great] 
! pray]1 ! %ort] 9 words1 ?\gh ! long] !
 say+ ( x1 = ea* syllable w ne$s be held
 up ^u ! s\l be=e ,god1 sl[ly &1 z x 71 
9 a casket ( fire1 & ) m>vell\s joy4 ,& 
!re are pray]s )\t words1 & o!rs )\t ev5
 ?\ghts1 9 :i* ! s\l 9 a great /illness 
passes up l an inc5se to ! ,mo/ ,high4  
,?is is v pure1 great love2 wond]ful1   
high bliss4  99 99 99  ,9 ! e>li] /ages 
( progress1 :5 ! he>t & m9d suff] f     
frequ5t incon/ancy1 loss ( w>m?1 ev5    
total losses ( love1 set ! he>t & m9d to
 recall to !mselves by read+ or ?9k+ "s 
fav\rite aspect ( _! ,"l ,jesus ,*ri/4  
,x may be ,8 g5tl5ess1 or ,8 m>vell\s   
=giv5ess1 z to ,pet] :5 ,he turn$ &     
look$ at him aft] ! d5ial2 = s ,he turns
 & looks ^u ourselves4 ,or x may be ,8  
sweetness t mo/ draws u4 ,b let u fa/5 !
 he>t & m9d ^u :i*ev] x may be1 & 9 !   
w>m? ( admiration love w return to u4   
99 99 99  ,! mode ( entrance into active
 contemplation ,i w\ld try to convey 9  
?is way4 ,! body mu/ be plac$ ei!r sitt+

 or kneel+1 & support$1 or flat on !    
back z ?\gh dead4 ,n[ ! m9d mu/ comm5ce 
to fold itself1 clos+ =w>ds z an op5    
rose might close h] petals to a bud     
aga91 = e ?\ght & image mu/ be laid away
 & no?+ left b a great =w>d-mov+ love   
int5tion4 ,out glides ! m9d all smoo? & 
swift1 & plunges deep1 !n takes an upw>d
 curve & up & on till will+ly x fa9ts1 !
 creature dies1 & consci\sness is tak5  
ov] by ! s\l1 :i*1 quickly com+ to !    
try/+-place1 spreads h]self & !re awaits
 ! revelations ( h] ,god4 ,to my feel+  
?is f9al complete pass+ ov] (           
consci\sness f ! m9d to ! s\l is by act 
& w ( ,god only1 & _c be p]=m$ by w ( ! 
creature1 & is ! fundam5tal diff]5ce    
betwe5 ! contemplation ( ,nature & !    
contemplation ( ,god4 ,! creature       
wor%ips1 b ! s\l alone kn[s contact4 ,& 
yet ! mode ( contemplation is a f>      
simpl] ?+ ?an all ^! words--x is ! v    
ess5ce ( simplicity itself2 & 9 ?is     
sublime adv5ture we are really consci\s 
( no mode nor plan nor flight1 n\ght b !

 mighty ne$ ( _s to ,_s & love to ,love4
  99 99 99  ,! pick+ out & *oos+ ( c]ta9
 p]sons1 & ! nam+ ( !m elect & *os5     
s\ls1 :5 ,i fir/ read ( x1 fill$ me )   
su* a s9k+ t ,i tri$1 :5 com+ ^u !      
words1 n to admit ! mean+ ( !m into     
myself2 = t "s %\ld be *os5 & "s n ,i   
felt to be fav\ritism1 & c\ld n und]/&  
or see ! ju/ice ( x4 ,i nev] ask        
que/ions4 ,he left me 9 ?is condition = 
eighte5 mon?s4 ,!n ,he l$ me to an      
explanation suffici5t = me4 ,! way ,he  
%[$ x me 0 n by comp>isons ) great      
?+s--angels & sa9ts & holy p]sons2 b by 
t humble creature1 man's fri5d1 ! dog1  
,he %[$ me ! elect creature4 ,x 0 ?is   
way4  ,"o ev5+ z ,i pass$ ?r\gh ! city  
,i _h "o ( ^? sudd5 /rong impulses 7by  
:i* ,he guides u7 to g to a c]ta9 &     
p>ticul> c9ematograph exhibition4 ,i 0 v
 tir$1 & tri$ to put away ! ?\ght1 b x  
press$ 9 ! way t ,i "k1 & ,i knew x     
bett] to g4 ,i sat = an h\r see+ ?+s t  
_h no int]e/ = me1 & wond]+ :y ,i %\ld h
 _h to come1 :5 at la/ a film 0 %[n (   

w>-dogs 9 tra9+--dogs tra9$ especially  
to assi/ m5 & to c>ry _! messages4  ,^! 
dogs 7 especially select$1 n = _! *>m ( 
outw>d appe>ance1 b = _! inw>d          
capacities2 n = an especial love ( ! dog
 7or fav\ritism71 b = t :i* !y 7 will+  
to le>n h[ to d4 ,! qualifications =    
7s7election 7 will+ness1 ob$i5ce1       
fidelity1 endurance4 ,once *os5 !y 7 set
 ap>t4 ,!n comm5c$ ! tra9+1 & we 7 %[n  
h[ man put 8 w ?r\gh ! dog3 he 0 able to
 d ?is only because ( ! will+ness ( !   
dog4 ,! purport ( ! tra9+ 0 to c>ry a   
message = 8 ma/] :]ev] 8 ma/] will$4 ,he
 mu/ g in/antly & at full spe$2 he mu/  
leap any ob/acle2 he mu/ turn away f 8  
own k9d if !y %\ld entice him to l+] on 
! way2 he mu/ subdue all 8 natural      
desires & in/9cts entirely to 8 ma/]'s  
desires2 he mu/ be indiff]5t to dang]4  
,& to secure ?is he 0 fir$ ov] by numb]s
 ( m51 difficulties 7 set = him1 & he 0 
di/ract$ f 8 /raight c\rse by a numb] ( 
te/s4 ,yet we saw ! brave & fai?ful     
creatures runn+ on _! way at _! fulle/  

spe$ until1 exhau/$ & brea?less b fill$ 
) joy ( love & will+ness1 !y rea*$ !    
j\rney's end1 to be c>ess$ & c>$ =      
beyond o!r dogs until ! next occasion   
%\ld arise4 ,!n we 7 %[n ! dog 9 8      
fully-tra9$ condition4 ,8 ma/] c\ld n[  
always rely ^u him4 ,a dog always ready1
 always fai?ful & self-=getful1 0 !n set
 ap>t into a /ill small] & m 7s7elect   
gr\p & surr\nd$ ) mo/ especial c>e &    
love4 ,nev] w\ld x want = any?+4 ,9 ?is 
!re 0 ju/ice4 ,=sak+ all _! natural     
ways1 ^! dogs _h submitt$ !mselves      
:olly1 9 lov+ will+ness1 to _! ma/]'s w1
 & he 9 return w\ld lavi% all 8 be/ on  
!m4 ,x 0 b j4 ,oh1 h[ my he>t leap$ ov] 
x6 ,at la/ ,i und]/ood--= z ! dog1 s !  
human creature4 ,we become *os5 s\ls1 n 
= our own sakes 7:i* _h always seem$ to 
me su* fav\ritism71 b = our will+ness to
 le>n our ,ma/]'s ,w4 ,& :at is ,8 w &  
:at is ,8 "w8 ,( _m1 _m k9ds1 & ?is is  
%[n to ! s\l 9 h] tra9+4 ,b ! h>de/ to  
le>n is n t ( ! work]1 b ( ! mess5g] &  
lov]4 ,z ! mess5g]1 to take ,8 messages1

 9 :atev] direction1 in/antly &         
correctly1 & to take back ! answ] f man 
to ,himself--:i* is to say1 to hold be=e
 ,him ! ne$s ( man on ! fire ( ! s\l1   
kn[n to mo/ p]sons "u ! "n ( pray]4 ,& z
 ! lov]1 to s+ to ,him ) nev]-fail+     
joyful love & ?anks4  ,b ! le>n+ & "w ( 
! s\l is n s simple z t ( ! dog1 :o     
c>ries ! message 9 writ+ ^u 8 coll>4 ,! 
s\l c h no writt5 pap] to assi/ h]1 &   
long & pa9ful is h] tra9+2 & exquisitely
 sweet x is :51 hav+ swiftly &          
accurately tak5 ! message1 %e waits be=e
 ,him = ! rapture ( ^? c>esses t %e kn[s
 s well4  ,h[ ,i 0 spurr$6 ,= ,i said1  
,%all dogs outdo u 9 love & devotion8   
,only 9 a condition ( total submission1 
self-=getfulness1 self-abnegation1 c !  
s\l ei!r receive or deliv] h] message4  
,9 ?is way %e is ju/ifi$ ( ! joys ( h]  
election4 ,! dog1 fai?ful 9 all ways to 
8 ma/]1 receives 9 return all praise &  
all meats1 :atev] he desires4 ,! fai?ful
 s\l also receives all praise & all     
meats1 bo? spiritual & c>nal1 = no?+ (  

e>?ly ne$s w lack h] if %e asks2 & )\t  
ask+1 h] ne$s are my/]i\sly & completely
 giv5 h]4 ,h] spiritual meats are1 9 ?is
 _w1 peace1 joy1 ec/asy1 rapture2 & ( ! 
_w to come x is writt5 t eye ha? n se51 
nor e> he>d1 nei!r h ent]$ into ! he>t (
 man1 ! ?+s t ,god has prep>$ = !m t    
love ,him4  ,x might be suppos$ t only  
p]sons fill$ ) public *>ities & social  
improvem5ts1 ard5t & pa9/ak+ *ur*       
work]s1 might mo/ surely & easily le>n  
to be mess5g]s4 ,b all ^! p]sons pursue 
& foll[ _! own l9e ( ?\ght1 ! prompt+s (
 _! own m9ds & he>ts4 ,!y are admirable 
work]s1 b n mess5g]s4 ,= ! h\nd ( ,god  
mu/ h 9 8 he>t no plan ( 8 own4 ,x is   
h>d = ! he>t to say1 ,i h no wi%es ( my 
own2 ,i h no int]e/s1 no plans1 no      
ambitions1 no s*emes1 no desires1 no    
loves1 no w4 ,?y w is my w4 ,?y desire  
is my desire4 ,?y love is my all4 ,i am 
empty ( all ?+s1 t ,i may be a *annel = 
! /ream ( ,?y w4  ,) :at pati5ce1 :at   
t5d]ness1 :at inexpressible ende>m5ts   
,he helps ! s\l1 tra9+ h] by love6--:i* 

is n to say t %e is tra9$ )\t mu* suff]+
 ( ! creature4 ,s we are tra9$ by two   
opposite ways--by suff]+ & by joys2 & ! 
:ole "u an attitude ( passionate &      
devot$ att5tion on our "p4 ,! suff]+s ( 
! s\l baffle all description ) _! /range
 int5sities4  ,our enc\ragem5ts are     
great & extraord9>y sweetnesses1 urg+s1 
& joyful uplift+ ( ! _s4 ,s t :5 we w\ld
 /op1 we are press$ =w>d2 :5 we are     
exhau/$1 we are fill$ ) ! w9e (         
sweetness2 :5 we are 9 te>s1 we are     
embrac$ into ! ,holy ,_s4  99 99 99  ,s9
 & ill are ! false notes /ruck by man   
across ! h>mony ( ,god's w1 & to /rike  
^u or ev5 rememb] su* notes is in/ant   
bani%m5t f ! music ( ,8 pres5ce4 ,:]e   
all is joy1 !re joy is all2 & he :o has 
n rea*$ ?is joy does n "k ,god--he is   
/ill a foll[]1 & n a possessor1 & he    
%\ld refuse 9 8 he>t to rema9 satisfi$ )
 8 condition1 b climb on4 ,:y /ay beh9d8
 ,climb on1 climb on6  ,h[ (t5 ,i h be5 
my/ifi$ & di/urb$ by ! attitude ( _m    
religi\s & pi\s p1 t to foll[ ,*ri/ is a

 way ( gloom1 ( sadness1 ( heav9ess6 ,h[
 (t5 h ,i ga!r$ f s]mons t we are to    
give up all bright & entic+ ?+s if we   
w\ld foll[ ,him1 & ! prea*] goes no     
fur!r6 ,has ! ,"l1 !n1 no enticem5ts1 no
 sweetnesses1 no brightness to (f] u1 t 
we %\ld be ask$ to =sake all            
pleasantnesses1 all brightness1 all     
attractions if we foll[ ,him8 ,?is to me
 always seem$ t]rible1 & my he>t w\ld   
s9k4 ,inde$1 to my poor m9d & he>t x    
seem$ no?+ m hopeful ?an a go+ f bad to 
worse6  ,all ! pictures ,i h se51 ei!r (
 ! ,crucifixion or ! ,way ( ! ,cross 7& 
especially ^? ( m rec5t times & pa9t+71 
portray ,8 ,bless$ ,face all worn )     
gloom2 & ,i "k n[ t ?is is f> f ! tru?4 
,= p]fect love kn[s agony1 b no gloom4  
,he w5t ?r\gh all ,8 agony1 lift$ high  
above gloom1 9 a great ec/asy ( love =  
u4  ,to speak ( sacrifice 9 connection )
 foll[+ ,him is1 to my m9d1 ! "w ( a v  
fooli% p]son & "o 9 dang] ( be+         
blasphem\s4 ,= h[ d>e we say t x is a   
sacrifice :51 by ! putt+ away ( fooli%  

desires1 we f9d ,god6 ,& to f9d ,god1   
?r\gh ! foll[+ ( ,jesus ,*ri/1 is to ga9
 s mu* 7ev5 9 ?is _w1 & )\t wait+ = !   
next7 t ^? :o ga9 x nev] cease to be    
amaz$ at ! va/ness ( x4  ,we f9d ?is to 
be an absolute tru?1 t if we h n ,him we
 h1 & are1 no?+1 9 comp>ison ) t :i* we 
are & t :i* we h :5 we h ,him4  ,9 my   
e>li] /ages ,i 0 greatly set back &     
di/urb$ by ?is gloom & sacrifice 7:i* is
 no sacrifice7 ( myself s put =w>d by   
pulpit tea*+4 ,x 0 a great h9drance to  
me & bl9d$ me to ! tru?4 ,i 0 only a    
normal1 ord9>y creature1 & !y ?ru/ a    
great burd5 into my arms4  ,little by   
little1 z ,i 0 able to le>n directly f  
,8 own he>t1 ,i came to "k ,him z ,he   
is2 & ,i c\ld n reconcile ?is k (       
,himself :i* ,he gave me1 especially (  
,8 high will+ness & s]5ity1 ) pulpit    
tea*+s ( heavy gloom4 ,! ,*ur* too      
frequ5tly spoke to me ( foll[+ ,him 9   
t]ms :i* convey$ a burd53 ,pick up ?y   
cross1 pick up ?y cross6 !y cri$2 & ,he 
spoke to me 9 t]ms :i* convey$ a great  

joy3 ,come to ,me1 come to ,me1 = ,i    
love !e6  ,i ?\ght ,i 0 v c[>dly & s9n$ 
by ?is inability to l ! gloomy burd51 & 
"o day ,i came ^u ?is out ( ,j]emiah3 ,z
 = ! prophet1 or ! prie/1 or ! p1 t %all
 say1 ,! burd5 ( ! ,"l1 ,i w puni% t man
 & 8 h\se 4 4 4 because ye say1 ,! burd5
 ( ! ,"l1 ,i w utt]ly =get y & =sake y1 
& ca/ y out ( ,my pres5ce4  ,^! words ( 
,jesus1 ,take up ?y cross & foll[ ,me3  
:oev] w d x w be %[n by ,jesus t ! cross
 ( foll[+ ,him is no burd51 b a         
deliv]ance1 a f9d+ ( life1 ! way (      
escape1 a great joy1 & a g>l& ( love4   
,! _w ?9ks ( joy\sness z be+ laught]1   
cackl+1 & mu* silly noise2 & to su* ,i d
 n speak4 ,b ! ,*ri/'s joy\sness is ( a 
high1 /ill1 m>vell\s1 & ineffable       
complet5ess--beyond all words2 & :olly  
satisfy+ to he>t & s\l & body & m9d4  ,x
 is writt51 ,!y %all love silv]1 & n be 
satisfi$ ) x--= :y8 ,only ^? are        
satisfi$ :o "k ! gold ( ,*ri/4  ,all (  
:i* is n to say t by foll[+ ,him we %all
 escape f happ5+s & inconv5i5ces &      

sorr[s & illnesses common to life2 b t  
:5 ^! come we are rais$ out ( our       
di/ress into ,8 ineffable peace4  ,:5 ! 
he>t is sad1 use ?is sadness 9 a        
compreh5sion ( ! deep] pa9 ( ,jesus1 :o 
0 9 ! self-same exile z we ourselves4 ,!
 m ! s\l is truly awak5$ & t\*$1 ! m %e 
feels h]self to be 9 exile2 & ?is is h] 
cross4  ,b ! rem$y = h] sadness is t %e 
%\ld c\rage\sly pass out ( h] woes (    
exile & g up to meet h] lov] ) smiles4  
,n[1 ,he _c resi/ ?is smil+ c\rage &    
love ( ! s\l1 & v quickly ,he mu/ s5d h]
 ,8 sweetness1 & h] sadness is gone4  99
 99 99  ,:5 ,i say t if we w take a few 
/eps alone t[>ds ,*ri/--:i* is to say1  
if we w make "s /r5u\s ef=ts to cleanse 
ourselves & *ange our m9ds & ways--,he w
 take u all ! re/ ( ! way1 ,i speak f   
exp]i5ce4 ,= among/ _m ?+s ?is happ5$ to
 me3 at a c]ta9 /age1 aft] my ?ird      
conv]sion on ! hill1 ,he caus$ my =m]   
?\ghts1 desires1 & follies to g away f  
me6 ,x 0 z ?\gh ,he _h s5t a veil betwe5
 me & su* ?\ghts ( my he>t & m9d z might

 n be pleas+ to ,him1 s t !y disappe>$ f
 my k & my actions6  ,by ?is m>vell\s   
act ,he remov$ my difficulties1 & put me
 into a /ate ( innoc5ce :i* resembl$ !  
innoc5ce ,i rememb] to h _h up to ! age 
( f\r or five ye>s4 ,b ,i f9d ?is new   
innoc5ce f> m wond]ful ?an t ( *ildhood1
 :i* is b ! innoc5ce ( ignorance4 ,b ?is
 new innoc5ce--:i* is a gift ( ,god--is 
innoc5ce ) k4 ,i am n able to express ! 
gratitude & amazem5t & wond] t h nev]   
ceas$ to fill me ab\t ?is4 ,su* ?+s c   
only be spok5 ( by ! s\l to h] lov]1 &  
!n n 9 words b 9 a sil5ce ( te>s4  ,:at 
did ,i ev] d t ,he %\ld %[ me su*       
k9dness8 ,i did no?+ except ?is3 ,i     
desir$ ) all ! =ce ( my he>t & s\l & m9d
 & body to love ,him4 ,i said1 ,oh1 if  
,i c\ld be ! w>me/1 t5d]e/ lov] t ev] ?\
 did/ h6 ,tea* me to be ,?y burn+ lov]4 
,?is 0 my p]petual pray]4 ,& my idea (  
,heav5 0 & is ?is1 t )\t s mu* z kn[+1  
or be+ kn[n or p]ceiv$ by any save      
,himself1 )\t ev5 a "n1 yet reta9+ my   
full consci\sness ( individuality1 ,i   

%\ld be ) ,him = always4  ,:at is ?is   
love = ,god1 & h[ def9e x8 ,= myself1 ,i
 nev] knew x until ,i 0 fill$ ) x ^u !  
hill4 ,_m judge x to be a foll[+ ( ,*ri/
 & ,8 wi%es1 b ?is is only a "p ( x & ! 
way we beg9 x1 & (t5 we beg9 f duty1 fe>
 ( future puni%m5t1 desire = salvation  
or spiritual pre-em95ce1 & ob$i5ce2 & 9 
none ( ^! is !re ! joy ( love4  ,by su* 
/&>ds ,i might c\nt myself to h lov$    
,him = tw5ty ye>s2 b "k ,i did n4 ,= t5 
ye>s pa/ ,i felt myself to h s great a  
ne$ ( ,him1 ,i s\ght ,him s1 t = me     
,heav5 conta9$ no re-met =m] e>?ly      
loves1 mu* z ,i lov$ !m "h4 ,i knew t   
,he w\ld be my all4 ,nev]!less1 ,he 0 n 
yet my ,love1 b my ,ne$4  ,love is a    
fire1 = we feel ! great heat ( x4  ,love
 is a light1 = we p]ceive ! :ite gl>e ( 
x4  ,( ?+s kn[n1 to :at c we comp>e x8  
,mo/ p]haps to electricity1 = "h we h   
bo? light & heat1 & ! lightn+ fla%      
/rikes t :i* already conta9s ! mo/ (    
itself 7or electricity74 ,& ! lightn+ ( 
,god's love /rikes him ^: he>t conta9s !

 mo/ love = ,himself4 ,& ,he /rikes :5  
,he w1 & aft]w>ds visits :5 ,he w2 & ,i 
d n c\nt myself 7= all my e>?ly loves7  
to h s mu* z kn[n ! out] edge ( ! mean+ 
( ! ^w love1 till ,he /ruck me ) ,8 own 
^u t hill4  ,truly1 fair & holy love is 
our w>ranty1 our only pass = ent]+ into 
,heav54  ,brave & wilful1 raptur\s &    
insi/5t1 love passes ) bold yet humble  
ec/asy into ! v pres5ce ( h] ,"l & ,god2
 & alone1 out ( all creation1 is nev]   
d5i$ ! ,"r ( ,way4  99 99 99  ,i h se5 x
 quot$1 ,turn to ! heights1 turn to !   
deeps1 turn )91 turn )\t1 ev]y:]e ?\    
%alt f9d ! ,cross4 ,b ,i see x s3 ,turn 
to ! heights1 turn to ! deeps1 turn )91 
turn )\t1 ev]y:]e ?\ %alt f9d ,8 ,love4 
,love to help on ! way4 ,too mu* we     
might suppose1 to he> pi\s p talk1 t    
because ( ,*ri/'s way we mu/ be mis]able
 & our life an endless ,cross6 ,& s life
 may be a cross1 b ,he c>ries x = u4  ,d
 s9ful m5 nev] suff]8 ,d ! s9ful escape 
disease8 & live = ev] )\t bit+ ! du/ 9  
dea? or disappo9tm5t8 ,:y1 disease &    

suff]+ are ! v tw9-*ildr5 ( s94 ,i am   
amaz$ t p c take su* a view ( ! ,cross z
 to ?9k x an unhappy1 mis]able way4 ,= s
 m>vell\s is ! beauty ( su* love t !re  
is no o!r s desirable a ?+ ^u e>?4      
,come1 walk ! way ) ,me1 says ! ,belov$2
 ,i am all s]5ity1 all peace1 all might1
 all p[]1 all love4 ,come1 walk ) ,me1 &
 =get ?y t9y c>es 9 ! peace ( ,my bosom4
  99 99 99  ,we d n love ,god because we
 d n yet "k ,him4 ,& we d n "k ,him     
because we seek only to "k & h our own  
desires3 & hav+ le>nt to "k ^!1 we w\ld 
h our unkn[n ,god accommodate ,himself  
to u & !m4  ,b let u fir/ seek to "k    
,god's desires by he>t1 & !n accommodate
 our own to ,83 s %all we le>n to be    
pleas+ to ,*ri/1 t ,he may lead u1 :il/ 
"h1 into ,8 ,g>d54 ,= to ! creature t   
ard5tly pursues ,god !re comes at la/ a 
"t :5 ,he reveals ,himself to ! se>*+   
s\l1 say+3 ,i ,am ,"h4 ,come6 ,!n 9     
secrecy we arise1--& g to ,him out ( !  
,h\se ( ,vanity into ! music ( ! great  
,beyond4  ,!re is small cr$it or virtue 

to ! s\l :51 9 a /ate ( high grace or   
ne>ness1 %e burns ) love = h] ,god3 = %e
 is "u ! spell ( ! enticem5t ( ,8       
,pres5ce--h[ c %e help b burn6 ,x is z  
?\gh two e>?ly lov]s1 9 full sight &    
ne>ness1 are fill$ ea* = ea* ) great    
love1 & are cont5t4  ,b ?is is a cr$it  
to ! s\l & ! creature 7z to ! e>?ly     
lov]s71 t 9 sep>ation & f>ness !y %\ld  
seek no o!r1 b cont9ue to dwell ) great 
int5tness ^u ! abs5t love4 ,?is is      
fidelity4  ,at times x is z if h] ,"l   
said to ! s\l3 ,i h o!r to d ?an to /ay 
by !e2 & also ?\ ha/ _h m ?an en\gh to  
?y %>e ( ,my honey2 &1 s say+1 ,he      
dep>ts4  ,& ?is is fidelity ( ! s\l & ! 
creature1 & a great virtue1 t1 )\t *ange
 ( face1 )\t compla9t or petition+1 !y  
%\ld ) all sweetness cont9ue to p\r up  
to ,him _! unabat$ love4 ,if any c d    
?is1 he is a p]fect lov] & has no m to  
le>n4  ,:5 ! love ( ! s\l1 z x 71 exce$s
 itself1 x passes up & beyond ev5 ! song
 ( love2 & be+ unable to express itself 
by words or by song1 or by deep sigh+s1 

or by any ( ^? subtle1 sil5t1 spiritual 
means kn[n only betwe5 h]self & ,god1 :5
 all means fail because ( ! too great   
/ress ( h] adoration1 !n ! s\l passes   
into a great pa91 :i* is ! angui% ( love
 & a h>d ?+ to be>4 ,?is excess is to ! 
fullness ( ! ,godhead4  ,& n[ ! s\l mu/ 
turn to pray] = help1 b n to ! ,godhead3
 = ! m %e turns to ! ,godhead ! great]  
becomes h] angui%4 ,b com+ d[n to ,8    
humanity1 %e mu/ besee* sweet ,jesus =  
,8 aid1 & s rega9 h] equilibrium4  99 99
 99  ,_m ( u are1 p]haps unwitt+ly1     
impud5t to ,god4 ,9 ?is way we are      
impud5t3 ,we "q 7ev5 ?\gh x be 9 secret1
 hidd5 9 ! he>t & n spok57 ! ju/ice (   
,god1 ! ways ( ,god1 ! plans ( ,god1 !  
love ( ,god3 by :i* means we argue )    
,god & judge ,him4 ,& ano!r mann] (     
impud5ce we h is ?is1 t we d>e to       
attribute or to blame ,him = ! results (
 man's own fil?1 say+3 ,?is & ?is is ! w
 ( ,god1 = we see t x exi/s1 & ,8 w is  
omnipot5t4 ,oh1 bew>e ( ?is impud5ce1   
drop x out ( ! he>t & m9d1 & flee f x z 

f ! plague6 ,h[ !n c ^! ?+s be1 if ,he  
is omnipot5t8 we say4 ,because ( ?is1 t 
9 ! tru/ ( ,8 great love ,he gave u !   
royal & ,godly gift ( free-w1 & our s\ls
 h prov$ !mselves unwor?y to h x2 & n[ !
 creature is br\ght be=e ! ,beautiful1 &
 ! ,holy1 & ! ,pure1 b turn+ away1 l !  
s[1 pref]s ! mire & ! fe/]+ sores       
proce$+ f su* wall[+s4 ,if !re 7 no     
*oice1 !re 7 no virtue1 & no progress   
home4 ,b let no man v5ture 9 8 he>t to  
attribute to t ,holy & ,m>vell\s ,be+   
:om we speak ( z ,god1 n kn[+ z yet ,8  
,"n1 any w t[>ds fe/]s & corruptions1 = 
:at does ,he say ,himself8 ,_! s9s rise 
up be=e ,me & /9k 9 ,my no/rils6  ,we   
surely =get t ?is _w is n yet ,god's    
,k+dom1 & t ,8 w is n done "h1 & w n be 
until ! ,judgm5t ,day4 ,?is _w is b a   
t9y te/+-*amb] 9 ,8 mighty work%op2 &   
great & wond]ful is ! c>e ,he has = !   
work]s 9 x4  ,o man6 :5ce come ?y       
wret*$nesses8 ,look r\nd & ?9k4 ,d !y n 
all proce$ f self & fell[-m51 alive or  
dead8 ,!n :y blame ,god8  ,:y am ,i "h8 

we cry1 to suff] all ^! pa9s1 & my      
cons5t n ask$8 ,a poor1 sad puppet danc+
 to a tune ,i "k n ! rhy?m (4 ,:]e is my
 recomp5se8 ,& :]e my wages8 ,i w take  
all ,i c ( :at is (f]$ "h1 & give no    
?anks6 ,x is b my scant due = all my    
wret*$nesses6  ,o fooli% man6 s timid ( 
all future possibilities ( bliss t he   
mu/ grasp & burn himself ) su* delights 
z he f9ds "h6 ,& equally mi/ak5 &       
small-m9d$ man :o ?9ks t all our ,mighty
 ,god w h to (f] u h]eaft] are cr[ns1   
damp cl\ds & mi/s1 & endless hymns6 ,su*
 little he>ts are f> away inde$ f kn[+ !
 magnitudes ( ,life4  ,o wret*$ man6 :y 
?is di/ru/8 ,ha/ ?\ creat$ ev5 ?9e own  
palate & dige/ion8 ,ha/ ?\ inv5t$ any ( 
^? fond delights t s enslave !e n[8 ,ha/
 ?\ ?yself devis$ ! means :]e) to       
satisfy ! long+ ( ?y creature = ! sweets
 ( life8 ,!y 7 provid$ !e2 all t ?\ ha/ 
creat$ is misuse6 ,?\ art b a p]v]t$    
?+6--a crook$ tool ( self1 a fly dr[n+ 9
 ! honey t x s\ght too gre$ily to own6  
,o wret*$1 wret*$ man6 s cloy$ ) sweets 

( e>? ?\ can/ n raise ?y head to see !  
sunrise out beyond ! _w1 & "k true      
sweets6 ,h[ _m are ! te>s wept ov] !e by
 ! great he>t ( ,god6  99 99 99  ,s9ce  
com+ into ?is new way ( liv+1 ! m ,i    
come into contact ) music ! m ,i s5se a 
my/]i\s connection betwe5 melody--!     
s\l--& h] orig94 ,alone out ( all !     
sci5ces & arts1 music has no f\ndation  
^u any?+ on e>?4 ,!re is no music 9     
nature until ! s\l1 come to a p]fect    
h>mony )9 h]self1 br+s out ! hidd5      
h>mony 9 all creation1 &1 turn+ x to    
melody )9 h]self1 returns x to h] ,"l 9 
song1 :e!r by outw>d in/rum5t or inw>d  
love4  ,! s\l1 inde$1 w\ld seem to h    
come out ( a life ( inf9ite melody & to 
h dropp$ into an exi/5ce ( m]e contr>y &
 vex+ "t-beat4  ,:o c by any means      
acc\nt = ! v>iety ( passions excit$ )9  
him by ! m]e diff]5ce ( ! spac+1 "t1 or 
rhy?m ( music8 ,9 my new condition (    
liv+ ,i notice t ! s\l ?r[s out ) mo/   
disda9ful impati5ce music t 0 =m]ly     
beautiful to my m9d & he>t 7or my       

creature72 & c]ta9 types ( fl[+ cad5ces 
7v r>ely to be f\nd71 su/a9$ 9 high1    
fl[+1 delicate1 & so>+ cont9uity w      
produce 9 h] conditions ak9 to a madness
 ( joy4 ,= "o brief in/ant %e rememb]s6 
b _c utt] :at6  ,( visions ,i "k no?+1 b
 receiv$ all my exp]i5ces into my s\l z 
amaz+ly real inw>d p]ceptions4 ,t ^!    
p]ceptions are ( unprec$5t$ int5sity1 & 
m reali/ic ?an ^? :i* are m]ely visual1 
c be und]/ood by bodily comp>isons2 = to
 feel or to be "o ) fire is m ?an to see
 x4  ,to try to comp>e spiritual life ) 
physical exp]i5ces w\ld seem to be      
useless2 =1 to my feel+1 :ile we live 9 
! _s we live at a great spe$1--inde$1 an
 incalculably great spe$--& z a :ole & n
 9 p>ts4 ,= ) physical liv+ we live at  
"o mom5t by ! eyes1 at ano!r ) ! m9d1 at
 ano!r ?r\gh ! he>t1 at ano!r ) ! body4 
,b ! _s feels to h no p>ts1 = all p>ts  
are ( s p]fect a concordance t 9 ?is    
m>vell\s h>mony all is "o & "o is all4  
,& ?is ) incr$ible int5sity1 s t we live
 n z n[--dully--b at :ite heat (        

s5sibility4  ,pray]  ,pray] is ! gold5  
w$d+-r+ betwe5 ourselves & ,god4 ,=     
myself1 ,i divide x into two halves--!  
"o petition+1 ! o!r (f]+4  ,( petition+ 
,i w\ld say t ?is is ! "w ( ! s\l2 & (  
(f]+1 t x is ! pleasure ( ! s\l4  ,(    
petition+1 t ,i come to x "u ,8 comm&2 &
 ( (f]+1 t ,i come to x ( my own high1  
passionate desire4  ,i make ^u my knees1
 ?ree times a day1 ?ree %ort & =mal     
pray]s ( humble wor%ip1 z befits !      
creature wor%ipp+ its ,ineffable &      
,mighty ,god3 & = ! re/ ( my "t ,i s+ to
 ,him f my he>t & s\l1 z befits ! joyful
 lov]1 ador+ & conv]s+ ) ! ,ineffable & 
,exquisite ,belov$4  99 99 99  ,?is is !
 circle ( ,8 way ) u4 ,fir/ is pray]2 !n
 love2 & aft] love1 humility4 ,)        
humility comes grace2 & aft] grace1     
temptation2 & 9 temptation we mu/       
quickly ent] pray] aga94  99 99 99  ,o  
wond]ful & ineffable ,god6 :o1 :ile     
rema9+ hidd5 f ,8 lov]s 9 ?is life1 yet 
s ravi%es _! he>ts & m9ds & s\ls t !y   
are unable to f9d truly sweet ev5 !     

greate/ ( life's =m] joys--= no?+ c n[  
ev] satisfy !m b ! secret & m>vell\s    
adm9i/rations ( ,8 love & grace6 ,on "o 
day feel+ to be =sak51 ! mo/ desolate & 
lonely ( all creatures 9 ! ,univ]se2 &  
on ano!r exalt$ to almo/ unbe>able      
p9nacles ( bliss1 equal to ! angels 9   
felicity1 & ble/ beyond all p[] ( words 
to say--su* & s are ! lov]s ( ,god4  99 
99 99  ,! s\l has six w+s3 love1        
ob$i5ce1 humility1 simplicity1          
p]sev]ance1 & c\rage4 ,) ^! %e c atta9  
,god4  ,we "k v well t no man w f9d ,god
 ei!r enclos$1 held fa/1 or demon/rat$  
)9 a circle ( dogmatic words2 b e man c 
f9d1 9 8 own s\l1 an exquisite &        
incomp>able in/rum5t ( communication )  
,god4 ,to e/abli% ! work+ ( ?is         
communication is ! :ole object & mean+ (
 life 9 ?is _w--?is _w ( mat]ial1 f9ite1
 & physical ?+s1 9 :i* ! human body is  
at once a means & a debt4  ,! key to    
progress is a cont9ual dress+ ( ! w &   
m9d & he>t t[>ds ,god1 be/ br\ght ab\t  
by cont9ually fill+ ! he>t & m9d )      

beautiful1 grateful1 & lov+ ?\ghts (    
,him4 ,at all /ages ( progress ! ?\ghts 
p]si/5tly fly away to o!r ?+s 9 ! ne> & 
visible _w1 & we h ne$ quietly &        
p]petually to pick !m up & re-c5tre !m  
on ,him4 ,) ! m9d turn$ 9 ?is way1      
/eadily t[>ds ,god1 we are 9 t /ate kn[n
 to sci5ce z pol>isation3 we are 9 t    
condition 9 :i* common iron becomes a   
magnet4 ,x is s t ,god trans=ms u into a
 dim9utive "p-lik5ess ( ,himself4  ,:5  
at la/ ! s\l rea*es union ) ,him1 %e is 
= a :ile s c>ess$1 s held 9 a p]petual  
contact & ne>ness1 t we may ?9k         
ourselves already p]man5tly ent]$ into  
,p>adise6 ,b ?is is n ! plan2 &1 our    
education be+ exce$+ly incomplete1 we   
return to our s*ool+4  ,we comm5ce to   
exp]i5ce pr(\nd & ev5 t]rible long+s to 
leave ! _w & all creatures1 = we _c be> 
ei!r ! sight or ! s\nd ( !m1 & seek all 
day long to be alone ) ! ,belov$ ,god4  
,to conqu] ?is la/ selfi%ness & weakness
 ( ! s\l1 we mu/ g aga9--z 9 !          
beg9n+--to ,jesus4 ,he tea*es u to g to 

& fro will+ly1 gladly1 f ! highe/ to !  
l[e/4 ,to pick up our daily life &      
duties1 our obligations to a physical   
_w1 9 all humility1 sweet reasonabl5ess1
 & submission4 ,he tea*es u to will+ly  
accept incessant int]ruptions1 & ) smil+
 face & p]fect inw>d smoo?ness to desc5d
 f a high contemplation ( ,god 7& only  
^? :o "k high contemplation c judge ( ! 
imm5sity ( :at ,i say7 to li/5 & att5d  
to "s mo/ trivial want ( a              
fell[-creature6 ,read]1 x is ! h>de/ ?+ 
( all4 ,no soon] h we le>nt ! h>d &     
difficult way ( asc5t ?an we mu/ will+ly
 come d[n x1 ev5 rema9 altoge!r 9 !     
valley bel[1 & t ) a smil+ face &1 if   
possible1 no ?\ght ( impati5ce6 ,?is is 
! true sacrifice ( ! s\l4 ,n[1 !        
sacrifices ( ! creature are ! giv+ up ( 
! ne> & visible joys & prides ( ! _w to 
foll[ ,*ri/1 & are n real b seem+       
sacrifices1 =1 if done he>tily & )      
c\rage1 an ex*ange betwe5 ^! joys & !   
joys ( ! invisible is rapidly effect$1 &
 !re rema9s no sacrifice1 b ! hidd5     

treasure is ours6 ,b ! sacrifice ( ! s\l
 is real & long2 = hav+ at la/ re-f\nd  
,god1 %e mu/ resign h] full joy ( ,him  
till ! dea? ( ! body--& ?is will+ly1    
?ankfully1 )\t compla9t1 n ask+ fav\rs b
 p\r+ up h] gratitude4 ,9 joy or 9 pa91 
9 happ9ess or 9 tribulation--gratitude6 
gratitude6--& ?is n by h] own /r5g? b by
 /r5g? ( ! ,holy ,gho/4  99 99 99       
,because ( ?is new way ( liv+1 ! m9d    
acquires a great increase ( capacity &  
/r5g? & cle>ness3 be+ able to deal      
quickly & correctly ) all matt]s br\ght 
be=e x ) an ease previ\sly altoge!r     
unkn[n to its own]4 ,x is no exagg]ation
 to say t ! sagacity1 scope1 & grasp ( !
 m9d feels to be m ?an d\bl$ f t :i* x  
previ\sly 01 & ?is n because ( any /udy1
 b by an involunt>y alt]ation4 ,s t1    
?\gh ! m9d & att5tion are n[ giv5 almo/ 
exclusively to ! ?+s ( ,god1 yet :5 !   
?+s ( ! _w h to be dealt )1 ?is is      
accompli%$ ) extraord9>y effici5cy &    
quickness1 ?\gh v di/a/eful to ! m9d4   
99 99 99  ,z ! s\l returns to h] s\rce  

no?+ is m /rongly emphasis$ to h] ?an ! 
/r5g? & int5sity ( individuality2 %e is 
%[n t ! ess5ce ( all joy is             
,individuality 9 ,union4  ,9 ! m>vell\s 
condition ( ,contact1 ?\gh we cease to  
be ! creature or ! s\l ador+ ! ,creator 
7b by an incompreh5sible condesc5sion we
 are accept$ z "o ) ,himself 9 love71   
yet we reta9 our own consci\sness1 :i*  
is our individuality4  ,9 ! highe/      
rapture ,i ev] 0 91 my s\l pass$ into a 
fe>ful extremity ( exp]i5ce3 %e 0 burn$ 
) s t]rible an excess ( bliss1 t %e 0 9 
great fe> & angui% because ( ?is excess4
 ,inde$1 %e 0 s ov]come by ?is too great
 realisation ( ! /r5g? ( ,god t %e 0 9  
t]ror ( bo? ,god & joy4 ,x 0 ?ree days  
be=e %e recov]$ any peace1 & m ?an a ye>
 be=e ,i d>$ recall "o in/ant ( x to    
m9d4  ,i am n able to ?9k t ev5 9 ,heav5
 ! s\l c\ld endure su* heights = m ?an a
 p]iod4 ,^! heights are incomp>ably1    
unutt]ably beyond vision & union4 ,!y   
are ! utt]mo/ extremity ( t :i* c be    
endur$ by ! s\l1 at lea/ until %e has   

re-ris5 to great altitudes ( hol9ess 9  
ages to come4  ,by contact ) ,god we    
acquire c]ta9 wond]ful & t]rible        
realisations ( tru? & k4 ,= "o ?+1 we   
le>n ! nature & mode ( _s-life1 z ov]   
aga9/ body- or s5se-life4 ,we le>n1 at  
fir/ ) great fe>1 some?+ ( ! awful      
int5sities ( pa91 z ( joy1 :i* c be     
endur$ by ! _s :5 free ( ! body3 = :5 we
 are 9 ! _s we d n see fire1 b we feel  
to become x & yet live6 ,& s equally (  
pa9 or joy--we d n feel ^! ?+s          
delicately1 z )1 & 91 ! body1 b we pass 
into ! ess5ce ( ^! ?+s !mselves1 9 all  
_! t]rible & m>vell\s int5sity1 :i* is  
comp>atively )\t limit4  ,woe to ^? :o  
mu/ ga!r ! g>l& ( pa9--:i* is           
remorse-aft] dea?6 ,x is easi] to suff] 
a :ole lifetime 9 ! body ?an "o day 9 ! 
_s4 ,o s\l6 come to ?y contrition "h 9  
?is _w1 :]e pa9 has %ort limit6 ,rep5t &
 return6  99 99 99  ,( ! m>vell\s fav\rs
 %[n to ! s\l ! he>t cries out3 ,o      
mighty ,god6 ( ! magnitude ( ,?y        
condesc5sions ,i am afraid ev5 to ?9k2  

!y are too great = me1 & ,i d>e to      
recall !m1 b only ) all ! simplicity ( a
 little *ild6  99 99 99  ,^? :o feel    
desire & ne$ )9 !mselves to rea* !      
heights ( inw>d life w d x be/1 n ?r\gh 
div]sity ( int]e/s 9 fell[-creatures1 b 
by unification ( all int]e/s 9 ,god4    
,god once f\nd1 & possess$1 we return to
 ! int]e/s ( creatures 9 mod]ation & )  
judgm5t4  99 99 99  ,:at is pa98 ,x is a
 my/]y ( sep>ation1 & we are gangr5\s ) 
s9 & pa9 because ( sep>ation f ! s\rce (
 life4  ,tru? n[ comes to u 9 su* small 
segm5ts t we no long] see ! patt]n ( x2 
b ?is we are able to p]ceive3 t ! my/]y 
( ,sep>ation is equal 9 degree ) ! my/]y
 ( ,union1 & t ! *ild ( sep>ation is    
,pa94  ,h[ did ! s\l ev] become s       
sep>at$ f ,god8 ,to my feel+1 9         
curiosity ( loves we may f9d ! answ]1 & 
"k ! fall to be n t ( ! animal man b ( !
 s\l1 :i*1 once liv+ 9 p]petual         
beatitude--kn[+ no?+ ( pa9 because ( !  
unity ) ,god1 n und]/&+ or be+ ev5      
grateful = h] bliss because ( its       

inv>iable pres5ce1 & giv5 free-w1--9    
curiosity w5t out 9 se>* ( new] & yet   
new] loves4 ,& ?is is ! retribution ( ! 
s\l = h] unfai?ful w&]+s--t z sep>ation 
gr[s great] %e comm5ces to "k pa91 &1   
becom+ anxi\s !refrom to return to !    
s\rce ( h] rememb]$ joys1 %e f9ds h]self
 unable to accompli% ?is because ( !    
weight & grossness ( ! nature ( ! loves 
to :i* %e has hir$ h]self1 & f :i* %e is
 totally unable to free h]self1 & yet   
:i* %e mu/ by "s means ov]come t %e may 
rise aga9 to sanctity & return to ,god4 
,n[ comes ! m>vell\s1 ! pitiful1 !      
univ]sal ,*ri/ to h] aid--! ,mighty     
,lov]2 & we may see 9 ! :ole s*eme (    
,creation1 z we "k x "h1 f jelly-fi% to 
man1 a plan by :i* ! s\l may br+ h]     
w&]+s to a t]m 9 "t conditions in/ead ( 
timeless sons4 ,:5 all ?is e>? is evolv$
 = h] great ne$1 at la/ by ! m]cy ( ,god
 %e is int]n$ 9 ! body ( f9ite man1 &   
mu/ clo! h]self 9 ! he>t & m9d ( ! human
 & take ^u h]self ! nature ( ?is        
creature man1 made & fa%ion$ to be a    

suitable in/rum5t & habitation = h]4 ,to
 c\nt]balance ! grossness & ineptitude (
 ! creature's mat]ial body ) its        
appetites1 man is imbu$ ) ! k ( "r1 & ) 
a secret long+ = a happ9ess :i* is n t (
 ! bea/4  ,! s\l mu/ raise ! brute 9    
him1 ) all its appetites1 to purity1--a 
mighty task1 accompli%$ ) mu* pa91 yet 9
 inf9itely %ort] duration ( pa9 ?an if  
left 9 disembodi$ _s-life2 &1 inde$1 we 
may come to look ^u pa9 9 ?is _w z "o ( 
our be/ privileges because ( its p[]s ( 
purification )9 a "t-limit1 & to "k t by
 ! m]cy ( ! ,god ( ,love we may take our
 hell ( cleans+ 9 ?is _w r ?an 9 ^?     
worlds ( disembodi$ spirits :]e progress
 is ( inf9ite sl[ness--revolv+ & revolv+
 ^u itself1 z a s&-spiral 9 a           
bla/-furnace1 )\t hope ( dea?4  ,oh1 h[ 
convey any w>n+ ( ?is t]rible k1 :i* is 
n communicable by words6 ,he said1 ,?\gh
 "o return f ! dead1 ye w\ld n believe4 
,b1 ,o s\l6 rep5t & return :ile /ill 9 !
 body6 ,lay hold on ! ,*ri/6  ,9 ! life 
( ?is _w1 !n1 does our ,god ( love &    

m]cy give u rapid means 7by conque/ ( ! 
animal grossness & corruptible body1    
rais+ man to ! ideal man1 accord+ to    
,god's int5tion7 to reunite ourselves ) 
,him4 ,& ! s\l ( all animal creation is 
also !reby gradually rais$ ) u into a   
univ]sal adoration ( ! ,"o ,almighty    
,god4  ,?is is no fall5 b a ris+ _w1 9  
:i* all ,creation is sl[ly & glori\sly  
ris+ /ep by /ep4  ,s may our s\l repay  
h] debt to ,god = h] pa/ infidelities4  
,?y ,mak] is ?9e husb&1 says ! voice ( !
 prophet4  ,& ! creature1 ) its suff]+  
he>t & m9d & body1 has also its         
incomp>able rew>d ( bliss3 = because (  
its love & ob$i5ce x is rais$ into !    
spiritual body1 ,,& ,,toge!r ,,) ,,!    
,,s\l ,,becomes ,,! ,,*ild ,,( ,,!      
,,resurrection4  ------  ,transcrib]'s  
,notes3  ,! "n ( ! au?or1 ,lilian       
,/aveley1 is n m5tion$ on ! title page (
 ?is text1 b ,i h add$ x "h4  ,i h made 
"o spell+ *ange3  en\gh to bl[-to to    
en\gh to bl[ to4