99 99 99 99 99 ---------------------------------------- ------------------- ,transcriber's ,note3 ,inconsistent hyphenation in the original document has been preserved4 ---------------------------------------- ------------------- 99 99 99 99 99 ,commendations from ,eminent ,men ,women ,what ,a ,young ,woman ,ought to ,know ,,commended ,,by ,,rev4 ,f4,b4 ,,meyer ,the ,eminent ,english ,preacher and ,author ,illustration3 ,,rev4 ,f4,b4 ,,meyer1 ,b4,a4 ,minister of ,christ ,church1 ,westminster1 ,london1 ,author of ,israel1 ,a ,prince with ,god1 ,elijah2 ,tried by ,fire1 ,the ,bells of ,is1 etc41 etc4 ,the questions which are dealt with in the ',self and ,sex ,series' of books are always being asked1 and if the answer is not forthcoming from pure and wise lips it will be obtained through vicious and empirical channels4 ,i therefore greatly commend this series of books1 which are written lucidly and purely1 and will afford the necessary information without pandering to unholy and sensual passion4 ,i should like to see a wide and judicious distribution of this literature among ,christian circles4 ,,commended ,,by ,,charles ,m4 ,,sheldon ,the ,eminent ,american ,preacher and ,author ,illustration3 ,,charles ,m4 ,,sheldon1 ,d4,d4 ,pastor of ,central ,congregational ,church1 ,topeka1 ,kansas2 author of ,in ,his ,steps1 ,the ,crucifixion of ,philip ,strong1 ,lend a ,hand1 ,born to ,serve4 ,it is a pleasure to call attention to the books of the ',self and ,sex ,series' which have been prepared with great wisdom for the express purpose of teaching the truth concerning the subjects which are painfully neglected4 ,,commended ,,by ,,mrs4 ,m4,w4 ,,sewall ,the ,eminent ,american ,educator ,illustration3 ,,mrs4 ,,may ,,wright ,,sewall ,principal of the ,girls' ,classical ,school2 former ,president of the ,international ,council of ,women2 and ,nominee of the ,international ,congress of ,women4 ,i am profoundly grateful that a subject of such information to young women should be treated in a manner at once so noble and so delicate that any pure-minded teacher or mother may read or discuss its pages with young girls without the slightest chance of wounding the most delicate sensibilities1 or by being misunderstood4 ,,commended ,,by ,,mrs4 ,m4,l4 ,,dickinson ,the ,eminent ,american ,christian ,worker ,illustration3 ,,mrs4 ,,mary ,,lowe ,,dickinson ,former ,president of the ,national ,council of ,women2 ,general ,secretary of the ,order of ,the ,king's ,daughters2 ,emeritus ,professor of ,literature ,denver ,university2 ,editor of ,the ,silver ,cross2 ,author of ,the ,temptation of ,katharine ,gray1 ,one ,little ,life1 etc41 etc4 ,any young woman1 knowing all that this volume teaches1 has an essential foundation for whatever other knowledge she may acquire4 ,,commended ,,by ,,mrs4 ,m4,b4 ,,carse ,the ,eminent ,american ,christian ,worker ,illustration3 ,,mrs4 ,,matilda ,b4 ,,carse ,founder of the ,woman's ,temple1 ,chicago4 ,as a mother1 ,i can truly say that my heart goes out to you in endorsement of this book4 ,it is pure and instructive on the delicate subjects that mean so much to our daughters1 to their future as home-keepers1 wives and mothers1 and to the future generations4 ,it can but create a more reverent ideal of life in every girl who reads it1 and ,i wish every daughter in the land could reap of its benefit4 ,,commended ,,by ,,mrs4 ,e4,c4 ,,stanton ,the ,eminent ,american ,lecturer and ,author ,illustration3 ,,mrs4 ,,elizabeth ,,cady ,,stanton ,noted ,woman ,suffragist1 ,lecturer and ,author4 ,your books ,i consider a valuable addition to the literature of the day on social ethics4 ,the many facts you state are not only important for a knowledge of social science1 but involve good health and morals4 ,,commended ,,by ,,mr4 ,c4,n4 ,,crittenton ,the ,eminent ,american ,philanthropist ,illustration3 ,,charles ,n4 ,,crittenton ,founder of the ,national ,florence ,crittenton ,mission ,the frequent excuse which parents give for not enlightening their children on these most important points is that they have never known how to do so4 ,this excuse can no longer be considered valid4 ,dr4 ,wood-,allen has a remarkable gift in the facility and refinement with which she is able to approach the most delicate subject without arousing a single morbid and sensitive impulse4 ,,commended ,,by ,,mrs4 ,h4 ,,campbell ,the ,eminent ,american ,author and ,educator ,illustration3 ,,mrs4 ,,helen ,,campbell ,dean of the ,department of ,household ,economics in the ,kansas ,state ,agricultural ,college4 ,author of ,prisoners of ,poverty1 ,wage ,earners1 etc41 etc4 ,i cannot speak too warmly of your invaluable series4 ,there is hardly a woman in ,america so thoroughly qualified by education1 long experience1 deep sympathies1 and1 most excellent of all gifts1 as deep common sense1 as ,dr4 ,mary ,wood-,allen1 to meet the growing need1 or rather the growing sense of need4 ,mothers and fathers alike will be helped and enlightened by these simple1 clear-phrased1 wholesome books1 and they deserve all the success already their own4 ,,commended ,,by ,l4,m4,n4 ,,stevens ,the ,eminent ,temperance ,worker ,illustration3 ,,mrs4 ,,lillian ,m4,n4 ,,stevens ,president of ,national ,woman's ,christian ,temperance ,union4 ,i consider the book ',what a ,young ,wife ,ought to ,know' a wise and safe teacher4 ,it is a careful and delicate presentation of vital truths which have to do with the happiness and welfare of home life4 ,,commended ,,by ,,eminent ,,american ,,authors ,,and ,,editors ,,margaret ,,warner ,,morley ,author of ,the ,song of ,life1 ,life and ,love1 ,the ,bee ,people1 etc4 ,there is an awful need for the book1 and it does what it has undertaken to do better than anything of the kind ,i have ever read4 ,you may rely upon me to make it known wherever ,i can4 ,,elisabeth ,,robinson ,,scovil ,superintendent of the ,newport ,hospital1 and ,associate ,editor of the ,ladies' ,home ,journal2 ,author of ,the ,care of ,children1 etc4 ',what a ,young ,woman ,ought to ,know' is characterized by purity of tone and delicacy of treatment4 ,it is one which a mother can place with confidence in the hands of her daughter4 ,reverent knowledge is the surest safeguard of innocence1 and it is every mother's duty to see that the young girl committed to her charge is duly forearmed by being forewarned of the dangers that lie around her4 ,pure ,books on ,avoided ,subjects ,books for ,men ,by ,sylvanus ,stall1 ,d4,d4 ,what a ,young ,boy ,ought to ,know4 ,what a ,young ,man ,ought to ,know4 ,what a ,young ,husband ,ought to ,know4 ,what a ,man of #de ,ought to ,know4 ,books for ,women ,by ,mrs4 ,mary ,wood-,allen1 ,m4,d4 ,and ,mrs4 ,emma ,f4,a4 ,drake1 ,m4,d4 ,what a ,young ,girl ,ought to ,know4 ,what a ,young ,woman ,ought to ,know4 ,what a ,young ,wife ,ought to ,know4 ,what a ,woman of #de ,ought to ,know4 ,,published ,,by ,,in ,,the ,,united ,,states ,,the ,,vir ,,publishing ,,company #bjj-bad ,n4 ,fifteenth ,street ,philadelphia ,,in ,,england ,,the ,,vir ,,publishing ,,company #d ,imperial ,bldgs41 ,ludgate ,circus1 ,london1 ,e4,c4 ,,in ,,canada ,,ryerson ,,press ,cor4 ,queen and ,john ,streets1 ,toronto1 ,ontario ,illustration3 ,,mrs4 ,,mary ,,wood-,,allen1 ,m4,d4 ,,new ,,revised ,,edition ,self and ,sex ,series ,,what ,a ,,young ,,woman ,,ought ,,to ,,know ,,by ,,mrs4 ,,mary ,,wood-,,allen1 ,m4,d4 ,national ,superintendent of the ,purity ,department ,woman's ,christian ,temperance ,union2 ,author of ,what a ,young ,girl ,ought to ,know1 ,marvels of ,our ,bodily ,dwelling1 ,child ,confidence ,rewarded1 ,teaching ,truth1 ,almost a ,man1 ,almost a ,woman4 ,illustration ,,philadelphia1 ,,pa43 #bjj-bad ,n4 ,,fifteenth ,,street ,,the ,,vir ,,publishing ,,company ,,london3 ,,toronto3 #d ,,imperial ,,buildings1 ,,the ,,ryerson ,,press1 ,,ludgate ,,circus1 ,e4,c4 ,,queen ,,and ,,john ,,streets4 ,,copyright1 #aiac1 ,,by ,,sylvanus ,,stall ,entered at ,stationers' ,hall1 ,london1 ,england4 ,protected by ,international copyright in ,great ,britain and all her colonies and possessions1 including ,india and ,canada1 and1 under the provisions of the ,berne ,convention in ,germany1 ,belgium1 ,denmark1 ,spain and her colonies1 ,france1 including ,algeria and the ,french colonies1 ,haiti1 ,italy1 ,japan1 ,luxembourg1 ,monaco1 ,norway1 ,sweden1 ,switzerland1 and ,tunis4 ,all rights reserved ,,printed ,,in ,,the ,,united ,,states ,copyright1 #ahhi1 by ,,sylvanus ,,stall ,copyright1 #aije1 by ,,sylvanus ,,stall ,,to ,,the ,,daughter ,,dear1 ,,whose ,,intimate ,,and ,,confidential ,,companionship ,,from ,,childhood ,,to ,,womanhood ,,has ,,made ,,it ,,possible ,,for ,,me ,,to ,,feel ,a ,,sympathetic ,,interest ,,in ,,the ,,life-,,problems ,,of ,,all ,,girls1 ,,this ,,book ,,is ,,most ,,lovingly ,,dedicated ,,by ,,her ,,mother ,,contents4 ,,part ,i4 ,,chapter ,i4 ,,what ,,are ,,you ,,worth8 ,,page ,the first great lesson to learn1 your own importance--,probably twelve million young women in the ,united ,states--,what it means for one of them to be sick--,woman's work in the world--,the using of spiritual forces--,how much are you worth to your home1 to the community1 to the state1 to the nation1 to the race8 #ba ,,chapter ,,ii4 ,,care ,,of ,,body4 ,your body is your dwelling--,it expresses you--,we can judge of character by the external appearance--,the body also an instrument and should be taken care of--,not fussy to take care of it in youth--,we should prepare for life #bg ,,chapter ,,iii4 ,,food4 ,a desire for health creates a desire to know how to obtain it--,the question of diet--,we eat to repair waste and to supply new material--,overstudy less a cause of illness than wrong eating--,tea and coffee not foods--,alcoholic beverages interfere with digestion--,dyspepsia produced by worry--,we should give ourselves to our friends--,young women should study scientific cookery #cc ,,chapter ,,iv4 ,,sleep4 ,every thought1 activity1 or motion causes expenditure of force--,in sleep the energy restored--,amount of sleep needed--,effect of sleeplessness--,causes of unrefreshing sleep--,ventilation of sleeping rooms--,beauty sleep #ci ,,chapter ,v4 ,,breathing4 ,how often we breathe--,what is accomplished by breathing--,office of oxygen in the blood--,breathing our measure of ability--,breathing gymnastics1 their value--,importance of the diaphragm in breathing #dg ,,chapter ,,vi4 ,,hindrances ,,to ,,breathing4 ,effect of sitting attitudes--,how to counteract this--,wrong positions in standing--,restrictions of clothing--,rule for the tightness of clothing--,why tight dresses may feel comfortable #ee ,,chapter ,,vii4 ,,added ,,injuries ,,from ,,tight ,,clothing4 ,the effect upon the heart--,danger of exercising in tight dress--,effect of tight clothing upon the kidneys1 upon the liver1 stomach1 and bowels--,how the bowels are held in the abdomen--,influence of tight clothing upon the pelvic organs--,upon the circulation--,a tapering waist a deformity #fa ,,chapter ,,viii4 ,,exercise4 ,the purpose of physical culture--,balance between waste and supply--,gymnastic dress a necessity--,value of housework--,bicycle riding--,dancing--,skating--,lawn tennis--,running up and down stairs--,bathing #fi ,,chapter ,,ix4 ,,bathing4 ,beauty of complexion--,condition of skin indicates condition of digestive organs--,pimples--,constipation--,therma l bath--,foot bath--,time to bathe--,daily baths--,the use of soaps--,wrinkles--,care of the hands #gg ,,part ,,ii4 ,,chapter ,x4 ,,creative ,,power4 ,we have ,godlike powers3 reason1 imagination1 conferring life--,organs of individual life same in both sexes--,differences between the sexes in size--,dignity of man #hg ,,chapter ,,xi4 ,,building ,,brains4 ,babies born deaf1 dumb1 blind and helpless--,the activities of the baby build its brains--,our brains develop through cultivation of the senses--,certain areas of brain govern certain movements of body--,can learn how to build up any part of brain--,professor ,gates' experiments in training dogs--,creation of habits--,effects of malevolent passions1 such as anger1 worry1 etc4 #ic ,,chapter ,,xii4 ,,you ,,are ,,more ,,than ,,body ,,or ,,mind4 ,you are neither body nor mind1 you are spirit--,your relationship to ,god--,god's obligation to us--,our obligation to ,him--,god's school--,his method of teaching us4 #ii ,,chapter ,,xiii4 ,,special ,,physiology4 ,differences between boys and girls--,boys need our sympathy--,the crisis in the girl's life--,sex in mind--,description of the sex organs #aje ,,chapter ,,xiv4 ,,becoming ,a ,,woman4 ,all life from an egg--,the human egg--,menstruation--,girls may injure themselves through ignorance--,value of sex4 #aac ,,chapter ,,xv4 ,,artificialities ,,of ,,civilized ,,life4 ,menstruation should be painless--,dr4 ,mary ,jacobi's opinion--,dr4 ,emmett on the artificial life of young women4 #aai ,,chapter ,,xvi4 ,,some ,,causes ,,of ,,painful ,,menstruation4 ,woman not necessarily a semi-invalid--,effects of wrong clothing on the young girl--,evils of novel reading--,evils of constipation--,congestions produced by displacements--,serious results of abdominal displacements--,value of abdominal bandage--,how to make one--,how to wear it--,effects of wrong attitude--,standing on one foot--,correct attitude4 #abc ,,chapter ,,xvii4 ,,female ,,diseases4 ,displacements of uterus--,leucorrhea--,patent medicines--,honest physicians--,sitz baths for reducing congestions--,age at which menstruation first appears--,non-menstruation and consumption--,mechanical hindrances to menstruation-- ,suppression--,scanty flow--,profuse flow--,treatment4 #ace ,,chapter ,,xviii4 ,,care ,,during ,,menstruation4 ,no long walks or rides--,may pursue usual avocations--,if pain1 keep quiet--,do not use alcoholics of any kind--,use of heat--,use of cold--,should you bathe at this time--,arrangement of clothing and napkins--,mental serenity4 #ade ,,chapter ,,xix4 ,,solitary ,,vice4 ,its results--,causes--,lack of cleanliness--,pin-worms--,all functions attended with pleasure--,sex not low--,its development accompanied by increased power--,how overcome the bad habit8--,remove causes of pelvic congestions--,train the senses--,study clouds1 leaves1 shapes1 birds1 etc4 #aea ,,chapter ,,xx4 ,,be ,,good ,,to ,,yourself4 ,what is real fun--,the effects of a wrong idea of fun--,flirtations--,familiarities--,crit icism of girls by young men--,class of girls who are most respected--,responsibility of girls--,the conduct of a pure woman the safeguard of man4 #aei ,,chapter ,,xxi4 ,,friendship ,,between ,,boys ,,and ,,girls4 ,the meaning of friendship--,mother the girl's wisest confidante--,kissing--,friendship between brothers and sisters--,platonic friendships--,the value of noble companionship4 #afi ,,chapter ,,xxii4 ,,friendship ,,between ,,girls4 ,gushing girls--,manly friendships--,the highest type of friendship--,to love truly is to grow strong by true giving4 #agg ,,chapter ,,xxiii4 ,,exercises4 ,correct dressing--,to overcome curvature--,round shoulders--,to strengthen the back--,to develop the chest--,abdominal muscles--,to restore displaced organs4 #aha ,,chapter ,,xxiv4 ,,recreations4 ,walking--,running--,riding--,skating--, rowing--,cycling--,tennis-- ,swimming--,skipping--,dancing--,card-pl aying--,theatre-going4 #ahg ,,part ,,iii4 ,,chapter ,,xxv4 ,,love4 ,different ideas of different people--,much that is called love is selfishness--,love at first sight--,present conditions of society unnatural--,parents unwilling to teach their children1 yet permit flirtations1 etc4--,what is love8--,one word to express different phases of regard--,love of man and woman--,love should include mental congeniality1 spiritual sympathy and physical attraction--,young people should have opportunity to get acquainted--,comradeship of young people--,love is a growth4 #aii ,,chapter ,,xxvi4 ,,responsibility ,,in ,,marriage4 ,who is the young man8--,what are his antecedents1 his talents1 his habits8--,what sort of a family does he belong to8--,the wife marries her husband's family--,girls should know this--,a mother's privilege4 #bji ,,chapter ,,xxvii4 ,,the ,,law ,,of ,,heredity4 ,a strange will--,should study the law of inheritance--,plant heredity--,race heredity--,national characteristics--,individual inheritance--,we are composite photographs--,the law of heredity a beneficial law--,transmission of evil a warning--,bad tempers inherited--,atavism4 #bae ,,chapter ,,xxviii4 ,,hereditary ,,effects ,,of ,,alcohol1 ,,tobacco1 ,,etc4 ,alcoholism produces nerve degeneration--,tight lacing may have the same result--,nerve degeneracy may lead to alcoholism--,idiocy and inebriety increasing--,effects of wine--,evils of patent medicines--,inebriety of parents entails injury on offspring--,folly of marrying a man to reform him--,hereditary effects of morphine1 chloral1 etc4--,dangers of the tobacco habit--,inherited effects of tobacco4 #bbc ,,chapter ,,xxix4 ,,effects ,,of ,,immorality ,,on ,,the ,,race4 ,the law of ,god not a double law--,the inherited effects of immorality--,millions die annually from its effects-- ,transmitted to child or wife--,contamination through a kiss4 #bce ,,chapter ,,xxx4 ,,the ,,gospel ,,of ,,heredity4 ,inheritance of good so universal that we fail to think of it--,mercy shown to thousands of generations--,heredity not fatality--,effects of education transmitted--,experiments of ,professor ,gates on dogs--,a divine inheritance4 #bda ,,chapter ,,xxxi4 ,,requisites ,,of ,a ,,husband4 ,what is the young man's inheritance8--,what are his ideas8--,what is his estimate of woman8--,what are his defects8--,are there adequate reasons why some should not marry8--,may not married people be happy without children--,a girl should know something of the personal habits of her future husband--,should consider her own personal habits--,how freely may young people talk together8 #bdg ,,chapter ,,xxxii4 ,,engagements4 ,becoming engaged for fun--,may not engaged young people throw aside restrictions8--,long engagements--,the benefits of an engagement--,evils of a long engagement--,engagement a time of preparation--,sexual attraction not limited to local expression--,duty of the engaged young woman to her own family--,jealousy the quintessence of selfishness--,trust a suggestion to be true--,common sense needed in marriage--,hold your lover to the highest ideals4 #bee ,,chapter ,,xxxiii4 ,,the ,,wedding4 ,folly of preparing an elaborate trousseau--,the way of one sensible girl--,the wedding gifts--,bridal tours--,the realities of wedded life4 #bfg ,,preface4 ,during a number of years it has been my privilege to be the confidante and counsellor of a large number of young women of various stations in life and in all parts of the ,united ,states4 ,these girls have talked freely with me concerning their plans1 aspirations1 fears and personal problems4 ,it has been a great revelation to me to note with what unanimity they ask certain questions concerning conduct--queries which perhaps might astonish the mothers of those same girls1 as they1 doubtless1 take it for granted that their daughters intuitively understand these fundamental laws of propriety4 ,the truth is that many girls who have been taught in the ologies of the schools1 who have been trained in the conventionalities of society1 have been left to pick up as they may their ideas upon personal conduct1 and1 coming face to face with puzzling problems1 are at a loss1 and perhaps are led into wrong ways of thinking and questionable ways of doing because no one has foreseen their dilemma and warned them how to meet it4 ,the subjects treated in this little book are discussed because every one of them has been the substance of a query propounded by some girl otherwise intelligent and well informed4 ,they have been treated plainly and simply because they purport to be the frank conferences of a mother and daughter1 between whom there can be no need of hesitation in dealing frankly with any question bearing on the life1 health or happiness of the girl4 ,there is therefore no need of apology2 the book is its own excuse for being1 the queries of the young women demand honest answers4 ,life will be safer for the girl who understands her own nature and reverences her womanhood1 who realizes her responsibility towards the human race and conducts herself in accordance with that realization4 ,life will be nobler and purer in its possession and its transmission1 if1 from childhood onward to old age1 the thought has been held that ,life is a gift of ,god and is divine1 and its physical is no less sacred than its mental or moral manifestation2 if it has been understood that the foundations of character are laid in the habits formed in youth1 and that a noble girlhood assures a grand maturity4 ,dear girls who read this book1 the mother-heart has gone out to you with great tenderness with every line herein written1 with many an unspoken prayer that you will be helped1 uplifted1 inspired by its reading1 and made more and more to feel ,a sacred burden is this life ye bear4 ,look on it1 lift it1 bear it solemnly2 ,stand up and walk beneath it steadfastly2 ,fail not for sorrow1 falter not for sin1 ,but onward1 upward1 till the goal ye win4 ,,mary ,,wood-,,allen4 ,,ann ,,arbor1 ,,michigan4 ,,part ,i4 ,,the ,,value ,,of ,,health1 ,,and ,,responsibility ,,in ,,maintaining ,,it4 ,,what ,a ,,young ,,woman ,,ought ,,to ,,know4 ,,chapter ,i4 ,,what ,,are ,,you ,,worth8 ,,my ,,daughter ,,dear3 ,when ,i see you with your young girl friends1 when ,i look into your bright faces and listen to your merry laughter and your girlish chatter1 ,i wonder if any one of you understands how much you are worth4 ,now you may say1 ,i haven't any money in the bank1 ,i have no houses or land1 ,i am worth nothing1 but that would only be detailing what you possess4 ,it is not what you possess but what you are that determines what you are worth4 ,one may possess much wealth and be worth very little4 ,i was reading the other day that the first great lesson for a young man to learn1 the first fact to realize1 is that he is of some importance2 that upon his wisdom1 energy and faithfulness all else depends1 and that the world cannot get along without him4 ,now if this is true of young men1 ,i do not see why it is not equally true of young women4 ,it is not after you have grown old that you will be of value to the world2 it is now1 in your young days1 while you are laying the foundation of your character1 that you are of great importance4 ,we cannot say that the foundation is of no importance until the building is erected1 for upon the right placing of the foundation depends the firmness and stability of the superstructure4 ,dr4 ,conwell1 in his little book1 ,manhood's ,morning1 estimates that there are twelve million young men in the ,united ,states between fourteen and twenty-eight years of age2 that these twelve million young men represent latent physical force enough to dig the iron ore from the mines1 manufacture it into wire1 lay the foundation and construct completely the great ,brooklyn ,bridge in three hours2 that they represent force enough1 if rightly utilized1 to dig the clay from the earth1 manufacture the bricks and construct the great ,chinese ,wall in five days4 ,if each one were to build himself a house twenty-five feet wide1 these houses would line both sides of eight streets reaching across the continent from the ,atlantic to the ,pacific4 ,for each one to be sick one day is equal to thirty thousand being sick an entire year4 ,now1 if there are twelve million young men in the ,united ,states1 we may estimate that there are an equal number of young women4 ,although we cannot calculate accurately the amount of physical force represented by these young women1 there are some things we can tell4 ,we know that for each one of these young women to be sick one day means thirty thousand sick one year4 ,just imagine the loss to the country1 and the gain to posterity if it can be prevented6 ,rome endeavored to create good soldiery1 but was not able to produce strength and courage through physical culture of the men alone4 ,not until she began the physical education of the women1 the young women1 was she able to insure to the nation a race of strong1 hardy1 vigorous soldiery4 ,so the health of the young women of to-day is of great importance to the nation1 for upon their vigor and soundness of body depend to a very great extent the health and capacity of future generations4 ,we are told that in the ,state of ,massachusetts1 in one year1 there were lost twenty-eight thousand five hundred 7#bh1ejj7 years of time through the illness of working-people by preventable diseases4 ,dr4 ,buck1 in his ,hygiene1 tells us that one hundred thousand persons die every year through preventable diseases1 that one hundred and fifty thousand are constantly sick through preventable diseases1 and that the loss to the nation1 through the illness of working-people by diseases that might have been prevented1 is more than a hundred million dollars a year4 ,so we can see that each individual has a pecuniary value to the nation4 ,you are worth just as much to the nation as you can earn4 ,if you earn a dollar a day1 you are not only worth a dollar a day to yourself and to your personal employer1 but you are worth a dollar a day to the nation2 and if1 through illness1 you are laid aside for one day1 the nation1 as well as yourself1 is pecuniarily the loser4 ,young women could not build the houses that would line eight streets from ,new ,york to ,san ,francisco1 but1 rightly educated1 they could convert each one of these houses into a home1 and to found a home and conduct it properly is to help the world4 ,it is so easy to measure what is done with physical strength4 ,we can see what men are doing when they build railroads1 construct immense bridges and towering buildings1 but it is more difficult to measure what is done through intellectual and spiritual forces2 and woman's work in the world is not so much the using of strength as it is the using of those finer forces which go to build up men and women4 ,with this thought in your mind1 can you answer the question1 ,how much are you worth8 ,how much are you worth to yourself8 ,how much are you worth in your home8 ,how much money would your parents be willing to accept in place of yourself8 ,how much are you worth to the community in which you live8 ,how much are you worth to the state1 the nation1 the human race8 ,you can recognize your value in the home when you remember how much you are the center of all that goes on there1 how much your interest is consulted in everything that is done by father and mother4 ,you can realize your value to the state when you realize how much money is spent for the education of young people1 how cultured men and women give the best of their lives to your instruction4 ,you cannot measure your value to the human race until you begin to think that the young people of to-day are creating the condition of the world in fifty or one hundred years to come2 that you1 through your physical health1 or lack of it1 are to become a source of strength or weakness in future years1 if you are a mother4 ,it is all right that young women should think of marriage and motherhood1 provided they think of it in the right way4 ,i want you to reverence yourself1 to realize your own importance1 to feel that you are a necessity to ,god's perfect plan4 ,when we are young and feel that we are of no account in the world1 it is difficult to realize that ,god's complete plan cannot be carried out without us4 ,the smallest1 tiniest rivet or bolt may be of such great importance in the construction of an engine that its loss means the incapacity of that piece of machinery to do its work4 ,as ,god has placed you in the world1 ,he has placed you here to do a specific work for ,him and for humanity1 and your failure to do that work means the failure of ,his complete and perfect plan4 ,now can you begin to see how much you are worth8 ,and can you begin to realize that in the conduct of your life as a young woman you are a factor of immense importance to the great problem of the evolution of the human race8 ,in the light of these thoughts ,i would like to have you ask yourself this question every day1 ,how much am ,i worth8 ,,chapter ,,ii4 ,,care ,,of ,,body4 ,the question ,how much are you worth8 is not answered by discussing your bodily conditions1 for your body is not yourself4 ,it is your dwelling1 but not you4 ,it1 however1 expresses you4 ,a man builds a house1 and through it expresses himself4 ,the external appearance causes the observer to form an opinion of him1 and each apartment bears the impress of his individuality4 ,to look at the house and then to walk through it will tell you much of the man4 ,the outside will tell you whether he is neat1 orderly and artistic1 or whether he cares nothing for the elements of beauty and neatness4 ,if you go into his parlor1 you can judge whether he cares most for show or for comfort4 ,his library will reveal to you the character of his mind1 and the dining-room will indicate by its furnishings and its viands whether he loves the pleasures of sense more than health of body4 ,you do not need to see the man to have a pretty clear idea of him4 ,so the body is our house1 and our individuality permeates every part of it4 ,those who look at our bodily dwelling can gain a very good idea of what we are4 ,the external appearance will indicate to a great extent our character4 ,we glance at one man and say1 ,he is gross1 sensual1 cruel1 domineering2 at another and say1 ,he is intellectual1 spiritual1 fine-grained1 benevolent4 ,so we judge of entire strangers1 and usually find the character largely corresponds to our judgment1 if1 later1 we come to know the person4 ,the anatomist and microscopist who penetrates into the secrets of his bodily house after the inhabitant has moved out can tell much of his habits1 his thoughts1 his capacities and powers by the traces of himself which he has left on the insensate walls of his dwelling4 ,the care of the body1 then1 adds to our value1 because it gives us a better instrument1 a better medium of expression4 ,the old saying1 ,a workman is known by his tools1 is equally true of the body4 ,the carpenter who cares for his saws1 chisels and planes1 who keeps them sharp and free from rust1 will be able to do better work than the one who carelessly allows them to become nicked1 broken1 handleless or rusted4 ,the finer the work which one does1 the greater the care he must take of the instruments with which he works4 ,a jack-knife will do to whittle a pine stick1 but the carver of intricate designs must have his various sharp tools with which to make the delicate lines and tracings4 ,when we speak of health and physical conditions in discussing the question of your value1 we are discussing the instrument upon whose integrity depends your ability to demonstrate your value4 ,many young people think it nonsense to pay attention to the preservation of health4 ,i have heard them say1 ,o1 ,i don't want to be so fussy6 ,it will do for old folks to be coddling themselves1 but ,i want a good time4 ,i'd rather die ten years sooner and have some fun while ,i do live4 ,i wonder what these same young people would think if they should hear a workman say1 ,well1 ,i have here a fine kit of tools2 ,i am assured that if they are destroyed they will never be replaced2 but now1 while ,i am learning my trade1 ,i don't want to be 'so fussy' about keeping them in order4 ,it will do for 'boss workmen' to take care of everything so constantly1 but now ,i want to break stones with these delicate hammers1 to cut nails with these razor-bladed knives1 to crack nuts with these slender pincers4 ,by and by1 when ,i am older1 ,i'll use them as they should be used1 but ,i think it's all nonsense to be so careful now4 ,if in later years you should hear him complain that he had nothing to work with1 would you feel like pitying him8 ,no kit of tools was ever so complete as is the bodily instrument given to each one of us4 ,its mechanism has been the inspiration of inventors2 it combines all forms of mechanical devices2 its delicacy1 intricacy1 completeness and adaptability challenge the admiration of the philosopher1 the engineer1 the master mechanic4 ,i cannot here tell you of all its wonders1#a but ,i would like to give you such an exalted idea of its importance that you would look upon it with reverence and take a justifiable pride in keeping it in perfect working order4 ,i would like to make you feel your personal responsibility in regard to its condition4 ,you know that in the ages past men believed the body to be the individual1 and they endeavored through care of the body to build up mental as well as physical power4 ,in those days the acrobat and the sage were found working side by side in the gymnasium1 the one to gain physical strength1 the other to increase his mental ability1 and each profited as he desired4 ,when men made the discovery that the body is not the individual1 but merely his dwelling and instrument of expression1 they came to feel less regard for it1 and lost their interest in its care and culture4 ,even the early ,christians1 forgetting what ,paul said about the body as a temple1 began to call it vile1 and thought it an evidence of great piety to treat it with contempt4 ,i have read of one religious sect who believed that the ,creator of the body could not have been the ,creator of the soul1 and held that the chief object of ,god's government was to deliver the captive souls of men from their bodily prisons4 ,when men began to understand that the thinking principle was the real self and the body merely a material encasement1 it was no wonder that they valued the body less and held mind as of great value4 ,they failed to see that mind without a material organ of expression is1 in this world1 of no account4 ,a great pianist with no piano could not make music1 and he would be considered a strange being if he did not care for his instrument most scrupulously4 ,think of a ,rubinstein voluntarily breaking the piano strings or smashing the keys1 while he made discordant poundings1 and excusing himself by saying that it was fussy to take care of a piano until it was old4 ,you cannot imagine such a thing4 ,we can all appreciate the value of a man-made instrument or machine2 but the ,god-created body1 a combination of machines and instruments of marvelous power and delicacy1 we neglect or treat with absolute1 positive injury1 and excuse ourselves on the ground that when it is old we will treat it more kindly4 ,melville says it is a sin to die1 ignoring what is to be done with the body4 ,that body1 he says1 has been redeemed1 that body has been appointed to a glorious condition4 ,it seems to me we prize the body far more after its use for us is at an end than while it is ours to use4 ,we do not neglect the dead2 we dress them in beautiful garments1 we adorn them with flowers1 we follow them to the grave with religious ceremonies1 we build costly monuments to place over their graves1 and then we go to weep over their last resting-place4 ,after all1 is it not life that we should value8 ,life here and hereafter1 not death1 is the real thing for which we should prepare1 and earthly life without a sound body is not life full and complete4 ,life is joy1 vigor1 elasticity1 freedom from pain or illness1 enjoyment of all innocent pleasures in maturity as well as in youth4 ,we have no right to look forward to decrepitude1 to failure in zest of living1 to lessening of real enjoyment because of coming years4 ,life should increase in beauty and usefulness1 in ability and joyousness1 as the years bring us a wider experience1 and this will be the case if we in youth have been wise enough to lay the foundation of health by a wise1 thoughtful1 prudent care of our bodies and our minds4 ,,footnotes3 #a ,this ,dr4 ,mary ,wood-,allen has done in a volume entitled ,marvels of ,our ,bodily ,dwelling4 ,this book teaches physiology and hygiene1 by metaphor1 parable1 and allegory in a most charming way4 ,superbly illustrated4 #abmo4 ,price1 cloth1 #a4ej1 post free4 ,,chapter ,,iii4 ,,food4 ,if ,i can arouse in your mind a most earnest desire to be strong and vigorous1 ,i shall not find it necessary to give you very minute directions1 for if you have the ambition you will find the way4 ,if ,i could excite in you an intense longing to visit ,paris1 ,i should know that you would begin to seek for the way of getting there4 ,if ,i could create in you an earnest aspiration to be well and physically strong1 ,i should know that you would seek for the books that would give you the necessary instruction4 ,it will not be needful to talk of rules and restrictions if ,i can make you feel the glory of having a sound body4 ,if you were starting on a journey1 ,i should not need to warn you of by-paths1 of traps1 or of dangers if ,i could be assured that your eye was fixed upon your ultimate destination4 ,so it is in the matter of health2 and yet there are some general rules or principles which ,i might lay down for your consideration4 ,in regard to the matter of diet4 ,i do not want you to be hampered by don'ts and restrictions as to what you shall eat1 but ,i do want you to eat with the thought in view that eating is to be governed by judgment and not by the pleasures of sense4 ,why do we eat8 ,not merely because the food tastes good4 ,there is a better reason4 ,we eat to live4 ,we know that the food which we take into our bodies is digested1 elaborated and assimilated--that is1 made over into ourselves--and unless this digestion1 elaboration and assimilation is properly conducted1 we shall not be fully and completely nourished4 ,our body is made up of cells2 the food which we eat is transformed into cell structure1 and this new cell-material takes the place of the worn-out cells4 ,our reason would tell us that if too little material is furnished1 cells will not be properly repaired and ill-health will follow4 ,our reason would tell us in the same way that if too much material is furnished1 the machine will be clogged and the work will not be properly done4 ,we will also understand at once that an irregular supply of new material would interfere with the elaboration of that which is undergoing the process of digestion and assimilation4 ,we can see1 too1 that unless the various tissues receive the material which they can transform into themselves1 they will not be fully repaired4 ,if material is taken into the system which supplies no tissue with what it needs1 this material becomes a source of irritation4 ,these general rules borne in mind are sufficient to guide us into a wiser life than if we do not understand them2 and1 understanding these general principles1 we will be anxious to study the particular rules which govern digestion and assimilation4 ,i have known young women in college to be so absolutely ignorant or indifferent to physiological law as to be injuring themselves constantly by disobedience of such laws4 ,i knew one girl1 supposed to be a very fine student1 and to have brought on fits by overstudy1 while away at school4 ,i had an opportunity to investigate the case1 and ,i discovered that she had been eating from morning till night4 ,she carried nuts1 and candy1 and apples in her pocket1 had pickles and cake in her room1 and studied and munched until it was no doubt a disturbed digestion1 rather than an overused brain1 that caused the fits4 ,if you will eat regularly of plain meat1 vegetables1 fruits1 cereals1 milk and eggs1 plainly prepared1 and avoid rich pastries1 cakes1 puddings1 pickles and sweetmeats1 you will have compassed the round of healthful diet1 and need give yourself very little anxiety in regard to anything more4 ,i should like to emphasize the fact1 however1 that tea and coffee are not foods4 ,they are irritants1 stimulants1 nerve-poisons4 ,they bring nothing to the system to build it up4 ,they satisfy the sense of hunger without having contributed to the nourishment of the body4 ,if you are wise you will avoid them4 ,you will not create for yourself any false necessities4 ,you will avoid the use of alcohol in all forms1 whether wine1 ales1 beer or cider1 as well as in the stronger forms1 because you will know that these products interfere with digestion4 ,dr4 ,kellogg1 of ,battle ,creek1 has made an experiment which proved that sherry to the amount of #a per cent4 of the contents of the stomach retarded digestion nearly #d per cent4 ,he calculates that #a per cent4 of sherry would be equal to two tenths of #a per cent4 of alcohol1 and it would be necessary to take less than an ordinary tablespoonful of the wine to obtain this percentage4 ,when #c per cent4 of claret was used 7equivalent to three-tenths of #a per cent4 of alcohol71 there was marked diminution in digestive activity4 ,this certainly proves that even the so-called light wines are injurious1 and certainly the drinks that contain a large per cent4 of alcohol must be that much more hurtful4 ,if you use good judgment both as to the quality and quantity of foods1 you need then give the matter very little thought4 ,people sometimes make themselves dyspeptics by worrying about what they eat4 ,eat what is set before you1 making a judicious choice both as to variety and quantity1 and then determine that your food shall digest4 ,when you live upon the higher plane of thought1 you will not be so much interested in the question of food as regards gustatory pleasure4 ,you will understand that eating is a necessity1 but you will not be thinking about it2 you will not be desiring to please the sense of taste2 you will see that there are higher forms of sociability than mere eating with friends1 and you will not be so interested in late suppers1 and in various forms of sense gratification because you enjoy more thoroughly the higher pleasures4 ,you will serve your friends with delicate food1 simply and daintily prepared1 and seasoned with that wit and wisdom which remain as a permanent mental pabulum4 ,you will make them feel that when you come to visit them you come not to get something to eat1 but to enjoy them1 to receive from them the inspiration which they can give4 ,we often treat our friends as if we thought they came as beggars for physical food4 ,it is a much higher compliment to treat them as though we thought they came to exchange thoughts with us1 to walk with us in the higher paths of living1 and that the physical food we give them is only incidental4 ,i was once entertained where a company of intelligent1 cultured people were assembled1 and we did not see the hostess from the time we entered the house until supper was served4 ,she sat at the table1 worried and anxious1 and after the supper was over she did not make her appearance until just as we were about to leave4 ,she did not pay us the high compliment of giving us herself1 but she bestowed upon us that which a hired cook might have given4 ,you remember what ,emerson says3 ,i pray you1 ,o excellent wife1 cumber not yourself and me to get a curiously rich dinner for this man and woman who have just alighted at our gate4 ,these things1 if they desire them1 they can get for a few shillings at any village inn2 but rather let that stranger see1 if he will1 in your looks1 accents and behavior1 your heart and earnestness1 your thought and will1 that which he cannot buy at any price in any city1 and which he may travel miles and dine sparely and sleep hardly to behold4 ,it would indeed be worth your while to study food scientifically1 to know how to prepare dainty and tempting dishes wholesomely1 and then to serve your guests with such beauty of manner1 such graciousness of courtesy1 that they will remember the meal they have taken with you as idyllic in its simplicity1 beauty and helpfulness4 ,,chapter ,,iv4 ,,sleep4 ,shakespeare writes of ,sleep that knits up the ravelled sleeve of care4 ,the metaphor is striking1 but not accurate4 ,to knit up that which is ravelled implies using the old material in repairing the damage1 but that is not the way in which the body is rebuilt4 ,the old material is thrown out and new material put in its place1 and that largely takes place during sleep4 ,we have read of brownies who came at night and swept and churned and baked while the housewife slept4 ,so1 in our bodily dwelling1 the vital forces are our brownies1 and they can work more uninterruptedly while we are asleep than when we are calling on them to move us from place to place1 or to aid us in various activities4 ,much of life's processes must remain a mystery to us1 but certain things we have learned1 and one is that perfect health cannot be maintained1 strong nerves cannot be constructed1 nor a clear brain be built without plenty of sleep4 ,the baby sleeps almost continually because he is building so much new structure4 ,the growing child needs more sleep than the adult2 but even after reaching maturity sleep cannot be materially lessened without injury to the whole organization4 ,we appreciate the need of food4 ,we are often very needlessly alarmed for fear that we shall starve from one meal to the next1 but few of us realize that food cannot be assimilated1 built into tissue1 without some hours in which the vital forces can devote themselves wholly to the work of assimilation4 ,during the working hours of the day we are expending force4 ,the brain is using it in thought1 the muscles are calling for force in various activities1 the emotions are expending energy1 and each of these activities is creating changes in the cells of the body4 ,we know that life in the body is only possible through constant death of the atoms of which it is composed4 ,we can only live because we are constantly dying4 ,huxley says1 ,for every vital act1 life is used up4 ,all work implies waste1 and the work of life results directly or indirectly in the waste of protoplasm 7which is the cell substance74 ,every word uttered by a speaker costs him some physical loss1 and in the strictest sense he burns that others may have light4 ,each word1 thought1 activity1 emotion causes expenditure1 and unless expenditure is in some way made good1 there will be bankruptcy4 ,how shall we get back the energy we have expended and so restore our vital forces to their equilibrium8 ,the protoplasm of which our cells are made we can obtain from the protoplasm of animal and vegetable substances which we eat1 but we cannot use the material unless we are sometimes at rest1 and by quiescence of brain and muscle give a chance for worn-out cells to be removed and new material put in their place4 ,it is when we lay our bodies down in the beautiful repose of slumber that this process can go on with most perfect results4 ,then1 when all the forces can be concentrated on the process of nutrition1 will nutrition be most perfect4 ,when we awake refreshed after a night of sound sleep we are really fed4 ,it is quite doubtful if1 in a normal condition1 we would want food until we had been at work some time and by destroying tissue have created a demand for more new material4 ,if we were only half as anxious that food should be assimilated--that is1 made over into ourselves--as we are that it should be put into the stomach1 we would be very careful to secure for ourselves a due amount of good sleep4 ,and what is a due amount8 ,that depends4 ,i once heard of a servant girl whose mistress complained of her because she did not get up early in the morning1 and the girl's excuse was1 ,but1 ma'am1 ,i can't get up early because ,i sleep so slow4 ,it seems a ridiculous statement1 and yet there is a germ of truth in it4 ,in some people the vital processes go on with such rapidity that the old1 worn-out material will be eliminated and the new material built into the body in a comparatively short time4 ,seven hours of good sleep1 perhaps1 make them feel strong and rested and able to start on a new day's work with courage and ease4 ,in others the vital processes are hindered or work feebly and slowly1 and eight or nine hours of sleep scarcely suffice to complete the work of restoration4 ,what is the obvious inference8 ,simply that each one shall judge for himself2 but each should be wise enough not to confuse sleeplessness with having had sufficient sleep4 ,very frequently the loss of sleep makes it difficult or impossible to sleep1 and not until the excited condition of nerves can be calmed1 can refreshing slumber be obtained4 ,young women who attempt to be in school and in society at the same time often bring themselves into the condition of insomnia or sleeplessness1 and foolishly fancy that because they do not sleep they do not need it4 ,it is not at all difficult to understand that if you are constantly taking money out of the bank1 you must also be constantly putting money in1 or some day you will be told that your account is already overdrawn and your draft will not be honored4 ,one can overdraw for a time1 and right here is the danger with young people4 ,they fancy1 because they are not at once told that they are overdrawing1 that their bank account is unlimited1 and then1 when it is too late1 they find themselves on the verge1 if not clear over the verge1 of bankruptcy4 ,how shall you know whether you sleep enough8 ,if you will make it a rule to go to bed by ten o'clock every night1 and go to sleep at once1 and sleep soundly and waken with a clear head and a rested feeling1 you may infer that you have slept enough4 ,if you are still tired or dull1 something is wrong4 ,you may have been in bed long enough1 but your room may not have been ventilated1 and so you may be poisoned by breathing over and over again the emanations from your own body4 ,or for some reason the process of digestion and assimilation may not have been carried on1 and poisons have been created instead of being eliminated4 ,if you waken unrefreshed1 ,i should want to inquire into your habits of life4 ,was there opportunity for fresh air to enter your room8 ,was there in it no uncovered vessel1 no old shoes in the closet1 no soiled underclothing1 nothing that could contaminate the atmosphere8 ,did you eat a hearty supper late in the evening8 ,is your system oppressed with a superabundance of sweets8 ,are you living on simple1 wholesome food1 or eating irregularly of all sorts of trash8 ,there may be many causes1 you see1 for your tired feeling in the morning1 and instead of taking some ,sarsaparilla1 or other drug1 ,i should try to find out the cause and remove it4 ,many people are afraid of night air1 and scrupulously shut it out of their sleeping-rooms1 and yet1 what kind of air can you get at night but night air8 ,and is it not better to have pure night air from out of doors than the impure night air of a close room8 ,i once went with two ladies to ascend the ,rigi in ,switzerland1 in order to see the sun rise4 ,one of these was a ,polish countess1 who took with her a little black-and-tan terrier4 ,the hotel at the ,rigi ,staeffel was crowded1 and we thought ourselves very fortunate to secure a room with three beds4 ,the ,countess disposed herself in one bed with her little dog1 and ,i took one bed1 saying to my friend1 ,you'll please open the window before you go to bed8 ,o certainly1 she replied4 ,the little ,countess sprang up in evident alarm4 ,open the window6 she cried2 why1 we'd all take our death of cold6 ,i beg of you don't do it4 ,i could not sleep a wink if the window were open4 ,my friend spoke reassuringly to her1 and she at length grew quiet1 when my friend surreptitiously raised a window and we went to sleep4 ,the next morning the ,countess asked1 with a strange air of incredulity1 ,were you in earnest when you spoke about opening the window8 ,why1 ,i never heard of such a thing in my life4 ,i know ,i should have been ill if you had persisted in having the window open4 ,my friend and ,i exchanged glances silently4 ,we knew she was not ill and she had slept with the window open1 but doubtless she would have been ill had she known it was open1 for she had a wonderful imagination4 ,when we were called at three o'clock to get up and go to the top of the mountain to see the sun rise1 she turned herself luxuriously in her bed and said she could imagine it4 ,she had taken this journey and climbed the mountain 7that is1 was carried up in a chair1 with her dog in her lap71 to see the famous sunrise on the ,rigi1 and then remained in bed and imagined it6 ,her imagination seemed entirely satisfactory1 and so we did not quarrel with her4 ,sleep is the most positive beautifier1 the best cosmetic4 ,the term beauty sleep is no misnomer4 ,sleep freshens the complexion1 smoothes out wrinkles1 clears out the brain1 strengthens the muscles1 puts light into the eyes and color into the cheek4 ,,chapter ,v4 ,,breathing4 ,the first thing you did when you came into this world was to inspire1 that is1 to breathe in4 ,the last thing you will do will be to expire1 that is1 to breathe out4 ,and between your first inspiration and your last expiration there will have been the process of respiration1 that is1 breathing in and out at an average rate of twenty times a minute4 ,twenty times a minute means twelve hundred times an hour1 or nearly thirty thousand times a day1 or over ten million times a year4 ,if you should live to be fifty years old1 you will have breathed in and out over five hundred million times4 ,we eat three times a day1 twenty-one times a week1 over a thousand times a year1 fifty thousand times in fifty years1 but we breathe over five hundred million times in fifty years4 ,we realize the importance of eating1 but we can live days without food4 ,on the other hand1 we cannot live many seconds entirely without air4 ,we must infer from all this that breathing is more important than eating4 ,how can it be8 ,from our food our body is rebuilt4 ,what life-process is accomplished by breathing8 ,to understand this1 we must learn what processes are going on in the body1 by means of which food is converted into tissue1 into heat and energy4 ,these processes we find are chemical1 and may be likened to the combustion of wood or coal in the furnace4 ,we know that fire must have air in order to burn4 ,burning is the process of oxidation or combustion of oxygen with the atoms of fuel and the formation of a new substance thereby4 ,coal1 we are told1 consists of carbon and nitrogen1 both of which readily combine with oxygen1 and in the process of uniting heat is liberated1 and waste compounds thus formed pass off through the smokestack or chimney4 ,we may not understand this scientifically1 but we know that if we want the fire to burn well we must give it draft or air4 ,our bodies are living engines1 and use food and air instead of coal and air4 ,food in the body without air is like the coal in an engine without air2 and air is useful only because it brings oxygen to unite chemically with the food4 ,this process is going on all over the body4 ,each little microscopical cell is a furnace in which oxidation is taking place2 and not only is energy liberated1 but reconstructive processes are going on1 new tissues are being formed1 and old tissues removed4 ,but how can the oxygen get to the cells in all parts of the body8 ,we can readily see how it gets to the air-cells of the lungs1 but it would do little good if it stopped there4 ,it must be carried in some way to all the minutest cells of all the tissues4 ,this is done through the breathing4 ,the blood goes to the lungs1 and there it gives out the waste material it has collected in its journey through the body and takes up oxygen4 ,the blood goes to the lungs dark in color from its load of waste4 ,it is changed to a bright red by taking up oxygen4 ,each red blood-corpuscle takes a load of oxygen1 carries it to its destination1 and gives it to some tissue to be used up in the chemical process of oxidation1 upon which depends our life and energy4 ,during the hours of rest the tissues are busy in this process1 and during exercise the energy stored up in the tissue-cells is liberated and waste created4 ,so we see that the process is a continual round of taking food and air1 using them in rebuilding tissue1 then using up the tissue by exercise and casting out the waste products4 ,and now we can begin to understand that we live in proportion as we breathe4 ,dr4 ,holbrook says3 ,the activity of the child is in close relation to the strength of its lungs2 so1 too1 is the calmness1 dignity and power of a man in proportion to the depth and tranquility of his respiration4 ,if the lungs are strong and active1 there is courage and boldness2 if feeble1 there is cowardice and debility4 ,to be out of spirits is to be out of breath4 ,to be animated and joyous is to be full of breath4 ,breathing1 writes ,dr4 von der ,deeken1 is an actual vivifying act1 and the need of breath as felt is a real life-hunger and a proof that without the continual charging of the blood-column with the proper force1 all the other vital organs would soon stagnate and cease action altogether4 ,now ,i wonder how many young women really know how to breathe4 ,why1 you say1 we have always breathed6 ,and ,i reply1 ,so you have1 to some extent2 but do you really breathe1 or do you just let a little current of air flow gently through a part of your lungs1 not reaching the minute air-cells at all1 or have you crippled a large part of your lung-power by the restrictions of tight clothing8 ,now you shrug your shoulders and say1 with a little irritation1 perhaps1 ,o1 now she is going to scold about corsets and tight-lacing1 and ,i do not wear my clothes tight4 ,but ,i am not now going to talk of lacing2 ,i am going to talk about singing1 and speaking1 and real living4 ,the highest class of living creatures are those that have most power to breathe4 ,the cold-blooded animals breathe little1 and are slow-moving creatures with deficient sensation and small powers of action4 ,man has large lung-capacity and should be full of life and power1 and will be1 if he understands himself4 ,one benefit of exercise is the added impulse given to the heart and lungs1 calling for more breath1 and bringing more blood to the lungs to receive the added supply of oxygen4 ,if we were wise we would practise the art of deep1 voluntary breathing1 as a daily form of gymnastics4 ,what would it do for us8 ,wonderful things1 if we may believe the doctors4 ,even in the old ,greek and ,roman times the doctors recommended deep breathing1 the voluntary holding of air in the lungs1 believing that this exercise cleansed the system of impurities and gave strength4 ,and all our scientific discoverers have proven that they were right1 and modern doctors have only learned more of the process and added to the wisdom of the ancients4 ,professor ,lehwess says that he uses deep breathing not only as a health remedy but as a cure for muscular convulsions1 especially chronic spasms2 and he says that he bases his method for the cure of stuttering mainly upon respiratory and vocal exercises1 whereby1 he says1 we work on enervated muscles1 and make their function bring them into permanent activity and make them obedient to our will4 ,thus not only will the respiratory system be enlarged and quickened1 and the lungs strengthened1 but the blood circulation is promoted and those injurious influences overcome which often take away the stutterer's courage for speaking4 ,dr4 ,niemeyer1 of ,leipzig1 urges breathing in these words3 ,prize air2 use good1 pure air2 breathe fresh air in your room by night and day4 ,dr4 ,bicking says that respiratory gymnastics are the only effectual remedy for pulmonary affection1 especially for consumption4 ,the ,marquise ,ciccolina claims that by the teaching of breathing gymnastics she has cured people of a tendency to take cold easily2 she has benefited cases of lung and heart trouble1 and she has cured nervous asthma even in cases that have lasted from childhood to maturity4 ,dr4 ,kitchen asserts that if the various structures of the body1 including the lungs1 are in a sufficiently healthy state1 consumption cannot find a soil in which to commence its ravages1 or1 if already commenced1 can be cured by attention to the general health1 by pure air and deep breathing4 ,all this proves that the breathing is of great importance--of just as much importance to women as to men4 ,it used to be thought that women breathe naturally with the upper part of the chest and men with the abdominal muscles1 but we have now learned that in the breathing of both men and women the diaphragm should be used and the lower part of the chest expanded4 ,the breathing should neither be thoracic--that is1 with the upper part of the chest--nor abdominal4 ,it should be diaphragmatic2 that is1 with the expansion of the sides of the lower part of the chest1 thus filling every air-cell and bringing the life-giving oxygen to the blood4 ,the importance of the diaphragm as the breathing muscle cannot be overestimated4 ,a diaphragm1 you know1 is a partition across a cylinder2 the diaphragm is a muscular partition across the cylinder of the body1 dividing the lungs from the abdomen4 ,in breathing1 the diaphragm becomes tense1 and in becoming tense becomes also flattened1 just as an umbrella does by being opened4 ,in fact the opening and shutting of an umbrella gives a very good idea of the motion of the diaphragm in breathing4 ,we can realize1 then1 how much larger around the body will be when the lungs are fully inflated than it is when we breathe the air out and the lungs are empty4 ,a few minutes spent each day in exercising in diaphragmatic breathing would be of great advantage in increasing beauty of form1 in giving strength and power to the voice1 in improving the complexion and adding to the health1 and therefore to the happiness4 ,in taking these exercises1 one should either stand erect or lie flat upon the back and draw the air in through the nose1 keeping the mouth closed4 ,draw in gently1 allowing the chest to expand at the sides1 hold the air for a little time1 and then breathe out slowly4 ,these exercises performed in a room that is well ventilated1 or1 better still1 in the pure air of outdoors1 will do much toward driving away headaches1 clearing the brain1 giving better judgment1 stronger will1 and a clearer1 happier1 brighter disposition4 ,,chapter ,,vi4 ,,hindrances ,,to ,,breathing4 ,this little conversation will be on the hindrances to deep breathing1 for if we make up our minds that it is so important to breathe deeply we shall be very anxious to know how to avoid the hindrances to deep breathing4 ,first1 let me speak of attitude4 ,if you study physiology and note the arrangement of the internal organs1 you will very easily see that when the body is compressed in a sitting attitude there must be a hindrance to full and deep breathing4 ,the girl who is running the typewriter or the sewing-machine1 or the girl who is working as bookkeeper or stenographer1 or the girl at her studies1 is sitting so that it will not be possible to breathe deeply1 for the lungs are encroached upon by the crowding together of the other viscera 7which means the vital organs7 and the action of the breathing muscles is impeded by compression4 ,as you will readily observe1 there can be no lifting of the chest in this compressed attitude1 no complete flattening of the diaphragm1 no full inflation of the minute air-cells2 therefore1 as we have learned1 the blood is not thoroughly purified1 and actual poisons created by the vital processes accumulate in the brain and tissues until you feel overpoweringly weary and stupid4 ,you cannot think1 because you cannot fully breathe4 ,you have often found1 when sewing1 that the machine would get1 as you say1 bewitched4 ,it wouldn't feed1 the thread would break or the needle would snap1 and the whole work go wrong4 ,put the machine away1 take a rest1 and the next day1 without doing anything at all to the machine1 you find that it runs perfectly4 ,the trouble was with yourself4 ,it is so with the girl who is running the typewriter4 ,she finds that it makes mistakes in spelling1 things go wrong altogether4 ,it acts up1 as she would say4 ,so with the girl who is bookkeeper4 ,the figures will not add themselves up right4 ,now if1 under these circumstances1 the girl would get up1 go to the door1 take a few deep breaths and expand the lungs fully1 she would relieve the internal congestion consequent upon the cramped position1 the brain would be freed from the accumulated poison1 and as a consequence the troublesome problems would soon be solved1 the typewriter would spell correctly1 the figures would add themselves up accurately1 and life would become brighter at once4 ,five minutes spent each hour in deep breathing of pure air would add both to the quality and quantity of work done1 and so be a saving of time4 ,this certainly is of great value to you in your work in the world4 ,after working-hours are over1 the girl should make a special effort to sit erect for other reasons than that of breathing1 though that is reason enough4 ,but wrong sitting-postures are not the only attitudes that interfere with deep breathing4 ,very often the position in standing is also objectionable4 ,when one stands with the weight resting on the heels the body is thrown out of balance1 and as a consequence the shoulders are not on a vertical line with the hips4 ,in this attitude it is impossible to manifest fullness of life1 because the lungs are not fully inflated with air at each breath4 ,we live1 enjoy1 accomplish only in proportion to our breathing ability4 ,as one writer says1 ,the deep thinker1 the orator1 the fine singer1 must of necessity be a good breather4 ,the most serious hindrance to deep breathing is found in the restrictions of the clothing4 ,i do not say of the corsets1 because tight bands or waists can also compress the body and make full breathing impossible4 ,of course you say your dresses are loose1 and you run your hand up under your waist to prove it to me4 ,i will not argue the question with you1 but ,i will ask you to argue it with yourself4 ,if breathing is the measure of your living and doing1 then if1 in the least degree1 you limit by your dress your breathing1 the dress is too tight4 ,well1 you ask how shall ,i know if ,i am hindering my breathing8 ,my dress feels comfortable4 ,it seems to me that ,i breathe4 ,is there any way that ,i can prove whether my dress is tight or not8 ,it is true that one becomes accustomed to uncomfortable things and scarcely realizes that they ever were uncomfortable4 ,the dress may seem a little tight when you first put it on1 then it begins to grow comfortable1 and after a while it feels loose1 and you say it certainly is loose4 ,i will give a simple rule by which you may know whether your clothing is loose enough or not4 ,unfasten every article of clothing2 dress1 corset1 skirt-bands1 everything4 ,now breathe in slowly until every air-cell is full4 ,it may take some practice to do this1 but persevere until you find the chest elevated and filled to its utmost extent4 ,it should swell out at the sides along the line of the insertion of the diaphragm4 ,there should be no heaving of the chest4 ,now1 with the lungs so completely filled with air1 bring your dress waist together without pulling a particle4 ,will it fasten without pressing out a bit of air from the lungs8 ,if so1 it is loose enough4 ,if1 however1 you have to pull it together1 even to the tiniest extent1 you have pressed out some of the air4 ,the minute air-cells that have thus been emptied cannot be again filled while the dress is fastened4 ,therefore you are defrauded of your rightful amount of air1 and because part of the air is pressed out1 the lungs take less space and the dress seems looser4 ,you can understand how that would be4 ,the trouble is that our dresses are usually fitted over empty lungs4 ,the dressmaker pulls the dress together1 squeezes the air out of the lungs1 and fastens the dress4 ,now you can readily understand that it will be impossible to fill those air-cells so long as the dress is worn1 and yet it may not seem uncomfortable1 because we become accustomed to it4 ,nature has made us so that we can accustom ourselves to many things that are not absolutely healthful1 but this should not make us willing to live unhealthfully when it is possible to avoid it4 ,,chapter ,,vii4 ,,added ,,injuries ,,from ,,tight ,,clothing4 ,we have talked of the effect of tight clothing upon the breathing power4 ,let us see what other injuries arise from wearing the dress too tight4 ,in the first place1 the action of the heart is impeded4 ,the heart is a hollow muscle which must be continually filled with blood and emptied again many times a minute from the moment of birth till the moment of death4 ,you have been lying down for an hour2 let me count your pulse4 ,now sit up for a few moments4 ,i find1 now1 that it beats faster4 ,now stand up1 and it beats still faster4 ,you see1 it increases continually as you get into the erect position4 ,now walk quickly across the floor and you will see how much it has increased again in rapidity4 ,you will realize how much the dress interferes with the action of the heart better from an illustration4 ,professor ,sargent made an experiment with a number of girls4 ,one day they were dressed in perfectly loose clothing4 ,he counted the pulse of each4 ,it beat on the average of eighty-four times in a minute4 ,he had them run five hundred and forty yards in the space of two and a half minutes4 ,the pulse was again counted4 ,it had increased to one hundred and fifty-six beats in a minute4 ,this illustrates the effect of exercise even in loose clothing4 ,the next day at the same time1 dressed with a corset which reduced the waist to twenty-four inches1 they ran the same distance in the same length of time1 and then he found that the pulse had run up to one hundred and sixty-eight beats in a minute1 showing how much harder it was for the heart to do its work when restricted by tight clothing4 ,no acrobat would attempt to perform feats of strength or of agility if restricted even so much as by a belt4 ,the ,russian ,government has issued an edict that the soldiers must wear their pantaloons held up by suspenders1 for it has been demonstrated that when they wear them supported by a belt around the waist they are not able to do a fair amount of work4 ,the ,austrian ,government has also decreed that the pantaloons of soldiers are not to be suspended by belts because of the increase of kidney difficulty caused thereby4 ,we will understand why kidney difficulty is caused by tight clothing when we study the location of the kidneys and how they are affected by compression of the ribs4 ,most people think the kidneys lie low down in the back1 but in reality they lie up under the short ribs1 and the pressure of tight clothing brings the ribs to bear directly upon the kidneys1 injuring them in such a way as often to cause disease4 ,the heart and lungs are protected by a bony framework called the thorax1 but below the thorax there is no protection for the internal organs except that of the muscles1 therefore the corset or tight clothing can do most damage to the vital organs below the diaphragm4 ,the largest of these is the liver4 ,it should lie close up under the diaphragm1 from which it is suspended4 ,under the influence of tight clothing it is often pressed over on the right side1 sometimes extending over the whole front of the body1 or even as low down as the navel4 ,it is rutted by the pressure of the ribs4 ,the corset liver is well known in the dissecting-room4 ,sometimes1 where corsets are not worn and tight skirts are worn1 supported by the hips1 the liver has almost been cut in two1 the pieces being only held together by a sufficient band of tissue to keep them from dying4 ,when ,hiram ,powers1 the great sculptor1 was in this country1 he once attended an elegant party1 and was observed watching very intently a beautifully dressed1 fashionable woman4 ,a friend1 noticing his interest1 said to him1 ,what an elegant figure she has1 hasn't she8 ,well1 said ,powers1 ,i was wondering where she put her liver4 ,you see1 ,powers had studied the human body1 and when he saw such an outline as the figure of a fashionable woman1 he knew that some internal organ must be displaced in order to create that tapering waist1 and his anxiety was for the internal organs4 ,as an artist he did not admire the tapering waist1 as is shown by the beautiful marble statue which he made4 ,no artist would perpetuate in marble the figure of the fashionable woman4 ,not only is the liver thus displaced1 but the stomach is often pressed out of its original position1 which should be also close up under the diaphragm1 towards the left side4 ,by the pressure of clothing it is sometimes pushed down until it lies in the abdominal cavity1 even as low down as the navel4 ,this is the statement of ,dr4 ,j4,h4 ,kellogg1 who1 in his sanitarium at ,battle ,creek1 examines hundreds1 or even thousands of women in a year1 and asserts that it is almost impossible to find a woman whose stomach is where it belongs4 ,this is a serious matter1 because no organ can do its work properly when it is out of its rightful position4 ,we understand this in any machinery except that of the human body4 ,we would not meddle with a man-made machine because that would hinder its perfect working1 but we do not hesitate to interfere with the body1 forgetful that it1 too1 is a machine1 divinely created1 and with powers most fateful to us for weal or woe4 ,but the harm is not all done by the displacement of the organs mentioned4 ,the bowels suffer1 and we can best understand what is done to them when we understand how they are placed in the abdominal cavity4 ,let me take the ruffle you are making4 ,the mesentery is a delicate1 narrow membrane about twenty feet long4 ,we will compare it to the ruffle4 ,folded in it at one edge are the small intestines1 just as ,i can run this bodkin into the hem of this ruffle4 ,the other edge of the mesentery is gathered up as you have gathered the ruffle4 ,it is gathered into a space of about six inches in length1 and is fastened up and down the spine in the region of the small of the back4 ,you can see1 if ,i gather up twenty feet of this ruffle into a space of six inches1 how the mesentery1 with the intestines folded in the free edge1 are held in the abdominal cavity4 ,they are held loosely1 and at the same time so that the intestines cannot be tied in knots or loops upon each other4 ,in this way the ruffle flares out into the abdominal cavity4 ,the intestines should stay in their place close up under the liver and stomach1 but if pressure is brought to bear around the body at this point1 the bowels begin to sag into the abdominal cavity4 ,the abdominal walls lose their tonicity because they are so compressed that they cannot have a perfect circulation1 the bowels sink down still further into the pelvis1 and pull upon their attachment in the small of the back1 creating backache4 ,the stomach sags down into the cavity2 the liver sinks1 and all the organs pull upon their attachments2 so it is no wonder that women have backaches and headaches1 and their eyes feel bad1 and they are unable to stand or walk4 ,we don't want small rooms in our dwelling-houses1 we don't like it if we haven't sufficient space for our furniture2 but in this bodily house in which we dwell we are quite willing to constrict the rooms in which the vital organs or furniture are placed1 until everything is huddled together in the closest pressure1 so that the organs are unable to do their work4 ,it wouldn't matter in our parlors if the chairs and tables were huddled close together1 for they are not constantly changing in size1 but it does matter in a room where machines must have space to work and such space is not permitted them2 and we cannot expect good work where we crowd machinery so that it does not have adequate room4 ,the influence of tight clothing upon the pelvic organs is to displace them and create a great many difficulties which we know as ,female ,diseases4 ,but these1 in my opinion1 are not the most important things4 ,the important things are the displacement of the vital organs of the body--those organs without which we cannot live1 and those organs the perfect working of which is necessary both to our health and our happiness4 ,if we are wise we will be exceedingly anxious that every vital organ shall be allowed to hold its own position1 to do its own work1 with plenty of room4 ,the impeding of the heart-action by tight clothing is not in itself the most serious effect of this restriction4 ,the serious trouble is in the disturbance of the circulation4 ,upon a perfect circulation depends perfect nutrition4 ,the blood must go in sufficient quantity to every organ in order that it may be fully nourished4 ,when the waist is compressed the organs do not receive their full amount of blood4 ,it is retained1 and therefore the organs are congested4 ,the feet are cold because the blood does not reach them in sufficient quantity1 and the brain1 it may be1 is hot1 because the blood is not taken from the head with enough rapidity and furnished to the other organs4 ,so we find that tight clothing interferes with the integrity and health of every organ in the body1 and consequently with our happiness and with our usefulness4 ,the reason we admire the tapering waist is because we have been wrongly educated4 ,we have acquired wrong ideas of beauty4 ,we have accepted the ideals of the fashion-plate rather than those of the ,creator4 ,we find that some form of physical deformity maintains in almost every country4 ,the ,chinese deform the feet1 and we think this is barbarous1 but it is really not as serious as the deforming of the vital parts of the body4 ,the ,flathead ,indian is deformed in babyhood by being compressed between boards until the head changes its shape4 ,among some savage nations the leg is bandaged for a few inches above the ankle and for a few inches below the knee and the central part is allowed to expand as it will1 and this deformity to them constitutes beauty4 ,among other nations1 holes are made in the ears and pieces of wood are inserted4 ,the size of these pieces is gradually increased until the lobe of the ear will hang down upon the shoulder and a piece of wood as large as a man's arm be worn in the ears4 ,all of these things seem to us most horrible2 yet1 after all1 they are not as much an insult to the ,divine ,architect of the body as the deformity practised by civilized and so-called ,christian people1 who by restriction of the waist interfere with the vital organs and prevent the body from being perfect in its development1 or perfect in its action4 ,the activity of the body is an evidence of its life1 and if it is so tied up that it cannot be active1 it certainly is not in the fullest condition of life4 ,,chapter ,,viii4 ,,exercise4 ,you said to me1 my daughter1 that you wanted to join the class in ,physical ,culture4 ,i asked you why1 and you said because you thought you needed to build up in certain parts of the body4 ,you were defective in muscular development2 you needed also to acquire grace1 you thought4 ,and ,i said1 ,is muscular development the primary object of physical education8 ,you seemed to think that it is4 ,now ,i want to talk to you a little along that line1 and to demonstrate to you1 if ,i can1 that physical education is not primarily for the building up of big muscle1 or for the gaining of power to do great feats of bodily strength or skill4 ,the object of physical education is to develop a quickly responsive1 flexible instrument for the soul to use1 for that is what the body is4 ,physical culture1 rightly conducted1 aims to secure the highest condition of the body through the exercises that are required by the laws of the body4 ,law1 physical law1 governs the body1 and exercise should be according to this law4 ,the first object of exercise is to make a vital supply for the whole body4 ,this is first secured by proper attitude4 ,if we stand or sit properly we gain a proper position of the vital organs1 and then they will do their work well1 and the result will be more perfect nutrition4 ,the use of certain organs increases supply1 and the use of others quickens waste2 a balance should be maintained between the two4 ,we must nourish the life-sustaining organs before using the organs which use up brain-supply1 therefore we want to be sure that we are working according to these laws4 ,a great many people have an idea that physical culture means building up big muscle4 ,they measure the muscles of the arm and of the leg1 and judge by their increase in size of the value of the exercise4 ,this is not a correct measurement4 ,individuals may weigh themselves down by development of muscles until they have not sufficient internal vital force to carry so much weight4 ,if we could only balance between the organs which supply nutriment and the organs which use it up1 we would keep in perfect health4 ,we want to learn how to secure a maximum of results with a minimum of force4 ,that is1 we want the body to be quickly responsive1 to be flexible1 to be so that we can use it for the things we want to do without wasting strength1 and yet without being weighed down by a superabundance of muscular tissue4 ,the first desideratum in taking exercise is to have every organ of the body free1 therefore a gymnastic dress is a necessity4 ,then we should have the exercise conducted by some one who understands the peculiarities of each individual and knows just what exercises are suited for her in her special physical condition4 ,they should also be directed by one who understands perfectly that the girl with an anmic brain1 that is1 with a brain having too little blood1 cannot be conducted on the same plan as the exercise of the girl who has a superabundance of blood in the brain4 ,the best exercise is that which employs the mind pleasantly4 ,a good deal of exercise may be obtained in housework1 and1 if conducted with pleasure in the work1 may be of great physical advantage4 ,not long ago ,i listened to a very charming talk by a lady whose dress betokened her a woman of society4 ,she wore white kid gloves1 a dainty flower bonnet1 and in herself appeared an exponent of leisure and happiness4 ,her address was entitled ,the ,home ,gymnasium1 and ,i supposed that it would consist of descriptions of machinery that could be put up in one's own dwelling for gymnastic purposes1 but ,i soon found that her home gymnasium meant household duties4 ,she said one could scrub the table and obtain the best exercise for arms and chest1 and at the same time produce an article or piece of furniture which would be a delight to the eye in its whiteness and brightness4 ,she said that in scrubbing the floor one obtained very much the same movement that would be given in the gymnasium1 while at the same time the exercise would conduce not only to the personal advantage but to the happiness of the family4 ,she spoke of sweeping1 and dusting1 and bed-making1 and expressed herself as competent to do all these kinds of work1 in fact1 as doing them4 ,and she said she never felt more of a lady than when scrubbing her kitchen floor1 and she was not ashamed to be seen by her friends at this work4 ,if any one rang the door-bell1 she said she would simply put on a clean apron and go to the door1 and remark without hesitation that she was just scrubbing her kitchen floor1 but she was glad to see her friends4 ,this sort of a home gymnasium is at the command of nearly every girl1 and if she can bring herself to feel an interest in this home gymnastic exercise1 she may find it conducive not only to her own physical well-being1 but to the comfort and happiness of all about her4 ,the question is often asked whether bicycle-riding is injurious for girls1 and ,i would say that in my opinion it depends largely upon the girl4 ,has she good common sense8 ,of course ,i am speaking of the girl who is in a normal condition of health4 ,a girl of extreme delicacy1 or who is subject to some functional difficulty1 or the victim of some organic disease1 might not find it advantageous to ride4 ,a physician should1 in these cases1 be consulted4 ,but for the ordinary girl1 the girl of fairly good health1 if she will learn how to sit properly upon her saddle1 will have the good sense to ride with judgment1 it seems to me that the exercise must be productive of great good4 ,my own experience is somewhat limited4 ,i made some discoveries in my attempts to ride4 ,in the first place1 ,i learned that it was important to know how to sit4 ,in reading a book on ,physical ,culture and ,hygiene for ,women1 by ,dr4 ,anna ,galbraith1 ,i found this sentence3 ,sit upon the gluteal muscles1 and not upon the perineum4 ,this was a revelation to me4 ,i found that ,i had been doing the thing which was not proper1 and bearing the weight almost entirely upon the perineum had caused constant rectal irritation4 ,the gluteal muscles1 closely held together1 form a firm support for the body without injuring any of the vital organs4 ,i found that by distributing the weight--a little upon the handle-bars1 and some upon the feet--,i was able to sit with less weight and heaviness upon the saddle4 ,i found1 too1 that it was quite important to have the saddle high enough1 so that the legs might be fully extended at each stroke1 and with these precautions ,i found the wheel a source both of enjoyment and of strength4 ,the harm done by the wheel ,i believe in most instances to be due to an ill-adapted saddle or a lack of good judgment in the amount of exercise taken4 ,it is such a fascinating exercise1 one seems to be flying and scarcely realizes how much of nerve-force is being expended4 ,if the girl learning to ride will be prudent1 gauging the amount of exercise by her amount of strength2 if she will gradually acquire the needed strength before attempting long wheeling trips2 if she will be judicious and not ride1 perhaps1 during the first two or three days of menstruation1 there seems to be no reason why the ordinary girl should not be entirely benefited by this most delightful form of exercise4 ,it is not as objectionable1 to any degree1 as the exercise of dancing4 ,dancing is a most fascinating amusement1 and if it only could be conducted under proper circumstances it would be very delightful4 ,in itself it is not so objectionable as in its concomitants2 the late hours1 the improper dressing1 the hearty suppers in the middle of the night1 the promiscuous association and the undue familiarity of the attitude of the round dance are what make dancing objectionable4 ,if dancing could be conducted out of doors1 in the daylight1 with intimate friends1 without the round dances1 only those forms of dancing which may be likened to gymnastics1 as the contra-dance1 the cotillion1 the objections to dancing would be largely removed1 but ,i am of the opinion that a large share of the fascination of dancing would go at the same time4 ,skating is a delightful1 invigorating form of exercise1 if conducted with judgment4 ,one objection to it is that the girl will skate until wearied1 and then1 in that exhausted condition1 perhaps ride home1 or take a long1 tiresome walk from the pond to her residence1 all of which is sapping her unduly and annulling the value of the skating as an exercise4 ,lawn-tennis is delightful and beneficial1 provided it is undertaken with due judgment and the girl is properly dressed4 ,in fact1 the subject of dress is so closely associated with that of exercise that they can never be considered separately4 ,even the moderate exercise of walking1 conducted in the dress of the fashionable woman1 is in itself an element of danger1 whereas more violent exercise in a loose dress becomes a means of increased strength and vigor4 ,i am often asked if girls should be allowed to run up and down stairs4 ,i see no reason why girls should not go up and down stairs just as freely as boys1 if they are properly dressed2 but going up and down stairs in tight clothing is certainly very injurious4 ,,chapter ,,ix4 ,,bathing4 ,you and your girl friends take much pains with your personal adornment4 ,you spend time in curling your hair and in putting on ribbons and laces1 but ,i sometimes think you do not pay as much attention to personal cleanliness as you ought4 ,it would seem as if some of you thought that powder would cover a defect in cleanliness and perfumery would conceal the odors of the person2 but indeed it seems to me that the stylish make-up of your dress or the curl of your hair is of very little importance compared with the care of your health4 ,you each desire to have a beautiful complexion4 ,i used to be told in my childhood that beauty was only skin-deep1 but ,i have learned better4 ,i know that even the beauty of the complexion depends upon the integrity of the nutritive organs as well as upon the care and attention given to matters of personal cleanliness4 ,i read the other day of a discussion between two young men concerning the cleanliness of girls of their acquaintance4 ,one young man noticed that although one of the girls wore a very pretty dress-gown1 she had forgotten to clean her finger-nails4 ,the other remarked that many things in regard to a girl's personal cleanliness could be learned by riding behind her on a tandem4 ,the two then commented favorably upon the girl whose nails were pink1 whose ears and neck were clean1 her teeth white and dazzling1 and her hair well brushed4 ,i might say1 in passing1 that this hair-brushing time at night may be well employed in reviewing the experiences of the day in order to learn the lessons they teach1 and thereby to avoid to-morrow the mistakes of to-day4 ,these same young men also said that the complexions of some girls suggested the idea of too little fresh air and too much candy4 ,this1 they agreed1 it was impossible to hide with powder4 ,so we see that the care of the skin is quite important if one would have the respect and the admiration of her associates4 ,the skin is a very beautiful1 complex and delicate covering of the body4 ,it consists of six layers1 and contains arteries1 capillaries1 lymphatics1 nerves1 sweat glands1 sebaceous glands1 pigment1 etc4 ,so you see that the care of the skin involves much4 ,one writer has said1 ,at the skin man ends and the outlying universe begins4 ,the skin1 filled with nerves1 is continually reporting to the brain concerning what is the condition of all parts of the body4 ,the condition of the skin reflects the condition of the digestive organs4 ,many girls are trying to cure pimples on the face by the use of salves and lotions1 when in all probability all that they would need to do to gain a good complexion is to pay attention to diet1 to quit eating between meals1 and not to eat so much pastry1 pickles or sweetmeats4 ,our athletes and pugilists are learning that they must take care of the skin if they would keep in good condition1 and they are what in horses would be called well groomed4 ,the skin is rubbed1 cared for1 kept active1 because it is understood that it is an organ of sensation1 of secretion1 of excretion1 of absorption1 and of respiration4 ,more solid matter is thrown out from the skin than from the lungs1 in the proportion of eleven to seven4 ,it is even more than the excretion from the bowels4 ,the skin is an organ of breathing4 ,this seems strange to us1 but it really does take up oxygen and give out carbonic acid1 so upon the condition of the skin will depend very largely the condition of the general health4 ,we can detect a constipated condition of the bowels through the color and odor of the skin4 ,many girls feel that it is more delicate to neglect the care of the bowels than to attend to a daily evacuation1 but if they would remember that it is just as indelicate to carry effete or dead matter about in the bowels as it would be to carry it upon the person in any other way1 they would realize that it is only politeness and refinement to see that this part of their bodily housekeeping is duly attended to4 ,if the bowels do not do their work the skin will be obliged to take extra labor upon itself2 so1 as we have said1 by the odor of the skin we can detect the fact that the skin is doing the work that should be done by the bowels4 ,when a person is sick the condition of the internal organs is shown in the complexion1 and nothing more clearly indicates health than the condition of the skin4 ,if this is so important1 how shall we care for the skin8 ,first1 by bathing4 ,the tin bath-tub of the ,englishman accompanies him in all his travels1 and has penetrated even to the jungles of ,africa4 ,bathing appliances are marks of civilization1 and the bath-room is becoming a necessity4 ,where the bath-room does not exist it is easy to bathe thoroughly and completely4 ,a wash-basin of water1 with a sponge and towel1 furnish all that is absolutely necessary4 ,a most convenient bath is the portable thermal bath1 an arrangement of rubber cloth that can be opened out to form a square enclosure in which the person sits1 with the head in the free outside air1 the body enveloped in steam generated by an alcohol lamp4 ,this1 followed by a quick sponge-bath of cool water1 is a most efficient way of cleansing the skin2 and this bath may be used in any room1 no matter how beautifully furnished1 without soiling the carpet or furniture in the least4 ,one great secret of healthful bathing is1 when warm or hot water is used1 to follow it by an immediate application of cold water1 which leaves the skin in a tonic condition4 ,in preparation for going out in cold weather1 nothing is so efficient a protection from the cold as a foot-bath4 ,soak the feet for a few minutes in water as warm as is comfortable1 then plunge them into cold water and remove immediately1 or throw cold water over them1 wipe them thoroughly dry1 rub them with a little olive oil1 draw on a pair of clean1 warm hose1 and the feet are not only warmed1 but are protected against cold and will stay warm4 ,these precautions will prevent one taking cold from the foot-bath4 ,care of the feet is a great necessity not only for health1 for equalizing the circulation1 but for the prevention of unpleasant odors4 ,as to time of bathing1 ,i suppose that the body is at its highest point of vital power at about ten o'clock in the morning1 but this is1 for most people1 the most inconvenient time for a bath4 ,the circumstances of the individual are to be consulted1 and also the effect of bathing4 ,there are those who are made nervous by taking a bath1 consequently they will not be benefited by taking one just before going to bed4 ,in other cases the bath conduces to slumber4 ,this depends very largely upon the amount of blood in the brain4 ,a person with an anmic brain will not be benefited by the bath at bedtime1 but the person whose brain is overcharged with blood will find the evening bath quieting4 ,i would not advise everybody to take a daily bath4 ,there are those who are benefited by it2 there are others who might be injured by it4 ,it is best to study personal peculiarities and to watch the effect of the bath4 ,if1 within a few hours1 or the next day1 there is great exhaustion1 one might naturally conclude that the bath was not altogether beneficial4 ,there are those in such delicate health that a cold bath at any time does not seem desirable2 but constant attention will secure perfect cleanliness1 as the arms and chest can be bathed one day1 the abdomen and back another1 the lower extremities still another day1 and so the whole body be compassed twice or more in the space of a week4 ,in regard to the use of soap for bathing purposes1 the finest1 purest soaps should be used1 and these alone4 ,it is generally supposed that pure1 white castile soap is the best4 ,various soaps are widely advertised1 while some that claim to be of the very best are not always up to the requisite standard4 ,yet one can tell by a little experience what soap is of pure quality1 and such soap can be applied even to the face without injury4 ,in washing the face the hand is probably the best instrument1 with the thumb under the chin1 the fingers turned toward the upper part of the face4 ,the manipulation should be against the direction of forming wrinkles1 wherever there is a tendency for wrinkles to appear4 ,they can be held in check by the judicious manipulation of the fingers in the opposite direction4 ,wrinkles are created by obliterating the capillary circulation of the skin4 ,the manipulation increases the circulation1 and so tends to overcome wrinkles4 ,the expression of the face may form wrinkles4 ,i saw a girl the other day on a street-car who continually held her eyebrows elevated1 forming longitudinal lines across her forehead1 which had become as fixed in her youthful face as if she had been seventy years of age4 ,this was a lack of care in the governing of the expression of the face1 and also a lack in keeping up the capillary circulation4 ,the care of the hands may be considered also while discussing the question of bathing4 ,the hands should be kept clean1 the finger-nails particularly cared for1 as much of the beauty of the hands depends upon the delicate appearance of the finger-nails4 ,the manicure sets1 which are at the disposal of almost every young woman of the present day1 are a very great addition to toilet appurtenances4 ,the curved scissors1 the polisher1 the blunt ivory instrument for pushing back the fold of skin from the root of the nail1 all of these used but a few moments in the day will conduce to great beauty in the hands1 even for those who are doing housework4 ,,part ,,ii4 ,,need ,,of ,,special ,,knowledge2 ,,some ,,forms ,,of ,,avoidable ,,disease1 ,,their ,,remedy ,,and ,,prevention4 ,,chapter ,x4 ,,creative ,,power4 ,it is a wonderful thought that ,god shares ,his divine endowments with man2 that ,he1 being our ,father1 hath bestowed upon us the power to manifest ,his characteristics4 ,we are proud of these ,godlike powers4 ,we talk of our ,godlike reason1 and it is divine4 ,we know that ,god reasons4 ,we have evidence of it in the material world about us1 and when we use our reason we are thinking ,god's thoughts after ,him4 ,god has the marvelous power of imagination1 using that word in its noblest sense4 ,he has the power to conceive something in thought before it actually exists4 ,he must have seen all the glories of the material universe1 worlds upon worlds circling through space1 moon and stars1 the beauty of forest and stream1 of tinted flower and iridescent insect wing before they were brought into being1 and ,he had the power to create them4 ,man has this wonderful gift of imagination4 ,the inventor sees the machine in his thought before he attempts to build it4 ,the poet has the germ of his poem in mind1 even the rhythm and rhyme1 before he puts it on paper4 ,to the imagination of the artist the canvas glows with color before his brush has touched it4 ,the sculptor1 looking at the rough block of marble1 sees within it the imprisoned shape of beauty which his genius shall liberate to delight the world4 ,the musician hears1 singing through his brain1 the marvelous harmonies which1 put upon paper1 shall entrance all hearers4 ,certainly this glorious gift of imagination is ,godlike4 ,but it would be useless if it were not accompanied by creative power4 ,the inventor must be able to create as well as to imagine the engine4 ,the poet1 the musician1 the artist fails of deserving the name if he cannot embody his thought in a form that others may recognize4 ,he must not only imagine1 but create4 ,in some degree every intelligent human being has these powers4 ,the housewife imagines her dinner before she prepares it1 and a well-cooked dinner1 placed upon a well-appointed table with care and taste1 manifests something of the ability of the inventor and the artist4 ,the same may be said of her who designs and creates an elegant costume1 or arranges a room with taste and skill4 ,we appreciate the housewife's culinary creation2 we admire the tasteful creation of the dressmaker2 we wonder at the glorious creation of artist or musician2 perhaps we even envy them4 ,but food and clothing pass away and are forgotten4 ,even the grand symphony1 the beautiful picture1 the graceful statue1 may pass into oblivion1 and man forget that they ever existed4 ,but humanity is endowed with creative powers that are not transient4 ,the brains builded by the individual are transmitted to his posterity from generation to generation4 ,god's greatest power is that of conferring life1 sentient life4 ,we might have imagined that that marvelous power he would have kept for ,himself alone1 but ,he has not done so4 ,we have also the power to confer life4 ,we can call into existence other human beings1 and endow them with the record of our own lives1 giving to them our form1 our features1 our measure of vitality1 our tendencies1 our habits2 and these human beings whom we have thus called into life will never die4 ,what diviner1 more responsible gift could ,god have conferred upon us than this8 ,what more worthy of our devout study8 ,in this reverent attitude of mind let us study this gift of creative power1 learning what we may of its scope and purpose and the material organs through which it works4 ,in your study of physiology in school you took up the organs of individual life4 ,you studied the framework of the body1 its machinery1 its internal vital mechanism4 ,you studied about digestion1 nutrition1 respiration1 elimination1 and in this you learned nothing of physical differences between individuals4 ,all were considered as having the same organs1 used in the same way4 ,girls have the same number of bones as boys1 the same number of muscles1 of vital organs4 ,they sleep1 breathe1 eat1 digest1 grow1 according to the same plan4 ,so far there seems no reason why there should be any distinction of male and female4 ,but as we come to study what is called special physiology we discover physical differences and reasons for their existence4 ,there are certain differences of form that are discernible at a glance4 ,men are usually larger than women4 ,they have heavier bones and bigger muscles4 ,they have broad shoulders and narrow hips1 and have hair upon the face4 ,women have smooth faces1 more rounded outlines1 narrower shoulders and broader hips4 ,in man the broadest part of the body is at the shoulders1 in woman at the hips4 ,this is significant of a great fact which will be manifest to you when you understand the functions of each sex4 ,although each has the same general plan of individual life1 there are special functions which determine the trend of their lives4 ,the man's broad shoulders are indicative that he is to bear the heavy burdens of life--struggles for material support--and woman's broad hips indicate that she is to bear the heavier burden of the race4 ,when we come fully to understand the deep significance of sex1 we shall find in it a wonderful revelation of possibilities of development into a ,god-likeness that will stir our hearts to their very depths4 ,humanity so weak1 so lacking in appreciation of his possibilities1 so groveling when he should soar1 has been endowed with powers that give him control over the destiny of the race4 ,we may well exclaim1 with ,young3 ,how poor1 how rich1 how abject1 how august1 ,how complicate1 how wonderful is man6 ,how passing wonder ,he who made him such6 ,who centred in his make such strange extremes6 ,from diff'rent natures1 marvelously mix'd6 ,connection exquisite of distant worlds6 ,distinguish'd link in being's endless chain6 ,midway from nothing to the ,deity6 ,,chapter ,,xi4 ,,building ,,brains4 ,when you were born you were1 as all babies are1 deaf1 dumb1 blind1 and helpless1 but immediately the external world began to act upon you4 ,then began the process of mind-building4 ,you began to experience sensations of heat and cold1 of hunger1 of pain4 ,the eyes began at once to recognize the light1 the ears to become aware of sounds4 ,after a time1 objects were made clear to your sight and certain sounds were recognized4 ,you learned your mother's face and voice1 and1 little by little1 became acquainted with all the objects in the world of home4 ,you began to use your limbs1 and in this also you were at work building your mind4 ,we do not sufficiently realize that every aimless movement of the baby has in reality a great purpose--that of creating brainpower sufficient to enable the baby to control itself in all its voluntary movements4 ,we do not think that the fluttering hands and little kicking feet are really building brains1 but this is so4 ,and all of life's experiences have been building brain for you ever since4 ,professor ,elmer ,gates tells us that only about ten per cent4 of our brains are cultivated1 that there is a vast field of brain possibilities lying undeveloped in each one of us1 and that these possibilities are to be developed through cultivation of the senses4 ,so while ,i have been talking to you of the care of your body1 ,i have been advocating that which will in reality develop mind4 ,we have learned that certain areas of brain govern certain movements of body4 ,for example1 anatomists know not only where the general motor area is located1 but they can indicate the very spot where any special motor-force is generated4 ,in the case of a mill girl who was subject to epilepsy and had pain in her right thumb at each attack1 it was decided to remove the part of the brain which governed the motions of that thumb4 ,this they could do because they knew just where that motor-center lies1 and yet they were able to take out no more than that1 for when the wound was healed she had full use of all of her hand except the thumb4 ,we may know that by exercising a certain organ we are building up a certain part of the brain4 ,for example1 the man who has cultivated his hearing until he can hear sounds inaudible to ordinary men1 has made for himself more brain-cells in the hearing area4 ,if he has cultivated his sight assiduously1 he has created more visual cells4 ,if his touch has been cultivated1 his brain has received new touch sensation-cells4 ,and ,professor ,gates asserts that his mental ability has been thereby increased4 ,you will be interested in hearing of his experiments with animals and what he has learned therefrom4 ,he says he has demonstrated that it is possible to give to an animal or a human being more brains1 and consequently a better use of the mental faculties4 ,during twelve months1 for five or six hours a day1 he trained dogs to discriminate colors4 ,he placed several hundred tin pans1 painted different tints1 in the yard with the dogs4 ,at one time he put their food under pans of a certain tint4 ,when they had learned to go at once to these pans for their food1 he changed the color4 ,again he arranged it so that they would receive an electric shock if they touched pans of any color save the particular one4 ,they soon learned to avoid all the pans except those of this tint4 ,so1 by many different methods1 he trained them to recognize shades and tints until they could discriminate between seven shades of red and as many shades of green1 and in many ways they manifested more mental ability than any untrained dog4 ,while these dogs were being trained1 another group of dogs were being deprived of the use of sight by being kept in a darkened room4 ,at the end of the year both groups of dogs were killed and their brains dissected4 ,he found that the dogs kept in the darkness had less than the usual number of cells in the seeing areas1 and the cells were smaller1 while the dogs which had been trained to discriminate between tints and shades of color many times a day had a far greater number of larger and more complex brain-cells in the seeing areas than any dog of that age and species ever had before4 ,therefore1 says ,professor ,gates1 mind activity creates organic structure4 ,prof4 ,gates discovered other things of equal importance4 ,he carried his observations to successive generations1 and found that the fifth generation was born with a far greater number of brain-cells than could be found in animals not descended from trained ancestors4 ,this is not only interesting1 but of value4 ,you will remember1 in our talk concerning your value1 we spoke of your value to the race1 and learned that in cultivating yourself in any direction you were adding to the welfare of future generations4 ,that was only a general statement1 and now you can see how it can be4 ,you see that if you can make more brains for yourself you are also making more brains for your posterity4 ,or if you fail to make brains for yourself1 posterity will in like degree be defrauded4 ,many people have the idea that we are obliged to be satisfied with our dower of mental ability1 and so are excusable for failing to reach as high a level as some others4 ,if we really believed that we could create brains we would not sit down and sigh over small mental capacity1 but go to work at once in building minds for ourselves4 ,and first1 we must learn to control our thoughts and make them go where we send them4 ,in too many cases thoughts wander here and there1 with no power governing and guiding them4 ,when we are sauntering in the wood we sometimes come upon pathways1 and we know at once that many1 many footsteps of men or animals have been needed to make the paths4 ,if those who walked here had wandered each in his own way1 no path would have been made4 ,one pair of feet going often over the same ground will make a path4 ,so the thoughts1 traversing the same areas of brain1 will make records on the brain-cells which we may call paths4 ,every time a thought follows the same line it creates a deeper impression1 and makes it easier to go over the same territory again4 ,in this way habits are formed4 ,if the thoughts are good1 the habits will be good2 if evil1 the habits will be bad4 ,it is not hard to understand how much easier it is to form a habit than to overcome it4 ,the emotions1 like the thoughts1 create habits2 but1 more than this1 they create actual physical conditions4 ,it was my pleasure and profit once to have a conversation with ,professor ,gates in his laboratory1 and he showed me an instrument wherein he condenses the breath4 ,he then subjects it to a chemical reagent1 and by the precipitate formed he knows what was the mental condition of the individual1 whether he were angry1 sorrowful or remorseful4 ,in five minutes after a fit of anger he finds the excretory organs beginning to throw out the poison which anger has created4 ,only five minutes suffice to create the poison1 but half an hour is none too much to eliminate it4 ,think what must be the bodily state of one who is constantly irritated or angry1 who feels jealousy1 hatred1 or revenge4 ,with body poisoned by these malevolent passions he cannot feel well1 for his physical organs cannot do good work unless fed by pure blood4 ,professor ,gates finds that the benevolent emotions create life-giving germs in the body2 so1 to love others is not only helpful to them1 but it also gives us new life4 ,anger1 worry1 hatred1 jealousy1 are suicidal emotions4 ,we cannot for our own sakes afford to indulge in them1 while from selfish reasons alone we should be incited to kindness1 generosity1 sympathy1 and love4 ,,chapter ,,xii4 ,,you ,,are ,,more ,,than ,,body ,,or ,,mind4 ,we have talked of your body and your mind1 but as yet not of yourself4 ,you are not body2 you are not mind2 but you possess both4 ,you are spirit1 created by ,god1 who is spirit2 therefore you are ,his child4 ,you may not have thought much of this fact1 but that has not changed the fact4 ,no failure to recognize ,god as your father changes ,his relationship to you4 ,no conduct of yours can make you any less ,his child4 ,well1 you may say1 if that is so1 what does it matter1 then1 what ,i do8 ,if disobedience or sin cannot make me less ,god's child1 why should ,i be good and obedient8 ,because1 dear heart1 your conduct changes your attitude towards ,him4 ,you might not know that ,i am your mother2 you might know it and choose to disobey my wishes2 yet in both cases ,i should still be your mother1 and no more or less in one case than in the other4 ,but you will have no difficulty in understanding that in one case you would be a loving1 helpful1 obedient daughter1 a comfort and delight to me2 in the other1 a disobedient1 willful1 unloving daughter1 a care and trouble4 ,we are ,god's children1 each of us1 dependent on ,his love and bounty for protection1 food1 friends1 intellect1 even life4 ,is it dignified and noble in us to ignore and disobey ,him8 ,indeed the most worthy and dignified thing we can do is to recognize ourselves as ,god's children and be obedient4 ,it is a wonderful glory to be a child of ,god4 ,it means that we have ,godlike powers4 ,the children of human parents are like them in their capacities4 ,children of ,god must have capacities that are ,godlike4 ,this is true even of the most ignorant or degraded4 ,they have in themselves divine possibilities4 ,if you can get this thought fully engrafted into your consciousness1 it seems to me you can never willfully do wrong1 can never condescend to a mean or ignoble deed1 because you recognize your divine inheritance1 and feel compelled by it to live truly1 nobly4 ,being children of ,god puts on us certain obligations towards ,him1 but it also puts on ,god certain obligations towards us4 ,what6 you say2 ,god the ,infinite under obligations to man1 the finite8 ,the ,creator under obligations to the created8 ,oh1 yes4 ,we recognize the fact that human parents are under obligations to care for their children1 to protect them1 to educate them1 to give them opportunities4 ,even such are the obligations of ,god towards ,his human children1 and ,he fulfills them4 ,all our earthly blessings are from ,his hand4 ,home1 friends1 shelter1 food1 are gifts of ,his love4 ,he takes such minute care of us that if for one second of time ,he would forget us1 we should be annihilated4 ,he educates us4 ,he does not send us away to a boarding-school where we hear from ,him but seldom1 but ,he has a home-school where ,he is both ,father and ,teacher1 and ,his methods of instruction are divinely wise4 ,the injudicious love of earthly parents often induces them to do for their children things it would be far better to let the children do for themselves4 ,i once knew a boy of seven years1 as intelligent as the ordinary child1 who had never been allowed to go down stairs alone in his life for fear he would fall4 ,this unwise care of the parents had resulted in the child's being timid1 fearful1 and unable to care for himself4 ,he would cry if he fell1 and would lie still sobbing until some one came to pick him up and quiet him with caresses4 ,at the same time ,i saw a boy of four who could run up and down stairs1 go to the store alone to make purchases1 and who1 if he fell1 would jump up quickly1 saying1 ,o1 that didn't hurt4 ,which child had been better protected--the one who had been cared for by an overindulgent parent1 or the one who1 by judicious stimulation to self-help1 had learned to care for himself8 ,god teaches us how to help ourselves1 and circumstances of life which we so often think hard and cruel are only the means by which we are being trained to be strong4 ,the things we call failure1 worriment1 and hardship1 are only the little tumbles by which we are learning to walk4 ,the heathen philosopher1 ,seneca1 says3 ,god gives ,his best scholars the hardest lessons4 ,we know how proud we would feel if our school-teacher would say1 ,this is a hard problem1 but ,i believe you can solve it4 ,we would be stimulated to work night and day to justify his confidence in our ability4 ,but when a little trial comes in life we are quite apt to say1 ,god is so hard in ,his dealings with me4 ,why should ,he be so unkind8 instead of saying3 ,these hard things of life are a test of my scholarship1 and are an evidence of my ,teacher's confidence in my ability4 ,i would like you to get this thought fixed in your mind so firmly that you will feel sure that all circumstances of life are but lessons in ,god's great school1 and1 rightly used1 will be the means of promoting you to higher grades4 ,no scholar wants to stay always in the primary department because it is easy there4 ,he welcomes each promotion1 although he knows it means harder lessons and new difficulties4 ,he looks forward to college or university with pride1 even though lessons grow harder and harder4 ,god's school of earthly life has in it all grades of advancement4 ,will you be a studious1 courageous scholar and try to learn life's lessons well8 ,it is such a wonderful thing to be a child of ,god1 for that means to be an heir of ,god1 an heir of ,his wisdom1 ,his strength1 ,his glory1 ,his powers4 ,all things are yours1 says ,paul2 life1 death1 things present and things to come1 all are yours1 and ye are ,christ's1 and ,christ is ,god's4 ,,chapter ,,xiii4 ,,special ,,physiology4 ,with a feeling of reverence for ourselves we now take up the subject of special physiology to learn what makes us women4 ,in the study of general physiology we find very few physical differences in the sexes1 but when we come to investigate what is called the reproductive system we find entire difference of structure and of function4 ,boys and girls in early childhood are much alike in their inclinations4 ,they both love activity--to run1 to climb1 to shout1 to laugh1 to play4 ,if left to themselves one sees not much more difference between boys and girls than between different individuals of the same sex4 ,but as they grow and develop they begin to take on characteristics that indicate the evolution of sex4 ,the boy grows rapidly in height1 his voice breaks1 the signs of a moustache appear1 he seems constrained and embarrassed in society1 and yet he begins to show more politeness towards women and more of an inclination to be gallant to girls4 ,he is becoming a man1 and assumes manlike airs4 ,often1 too1 he becomes restless and willful1 hard to govern1 self-assertive1 with an assumption of wisdom that provokes laughter from his elders4 ,the boy is passing through a serious crisis and needs much wise and loving care4 ,there are inner forces awakening that move him strangely2 he does not understand himself1 neither do his friends seem to understand him4 ,sometimes they snub and nag him1 sometimes they tease and make fun of him4 ,in either case he does not find home a happy place1 and frequently leaves it to seek more sympathetic companionship elsewhere4 ,i once spoke to an audience of women and girls along this line1 and appealed to the mothers and sisters to be kind to the boys in their homes who were between twelve and eighteen years of age1 to remember that they were passing through the critical period of transition from boyhood to manhood1 and to try and help them by sympathy and kindness4 ,some time later1 as ,i was on the train1 a young lady came and sat down by me and said3 ,i want to thank you for what you said to us the other day about boys4 ,i have a brother about sixteen1 and we have done just as you said2 we have teased him about his moustache1 and his voice1 and his awkwardness1 and laughed the more because it seemed to touch him4 ,he had gotten so that he never would do anything for us girls1 and we called him an old bear4 ,since ,i heard you ,i concluded that we had done wrong and ,i would make a change1 so that evening ,i said kindly1 ',charlie1 don't you want me to tie your cravat8 ,i'd like to1 ever so much4' ,i shall never forget the surprised look he gave me4 ,it seemed as if he could not believe that ,i1 his sister1 wanted to do something to please him1 but as soon as he saw ,i really meant it he accepted my offer with thanks1 and since then it seems as if he could not do enough for me4 ,really ,i have almost cried to think that so little a thing would make him so grateful4 ,i have invited him to go out with me several times1 and he seems so glad to go4 ,then ,i've begun to make things for his room--little fancy things that ,i never thought a boy would care for--and he has appreciated them so much4 ,why1 he even stays in his room sometimes1 now1 instead of going off with the boys4 ,and the other day1 when one of the boys came to see him1 ,i heard him say1 ',come up and see my room1' and the other boy said1 ',well1 ,i wish some one would fix up my room in such a jolly fashion4' ,really1 said the girl1 if you have done nothing on your trip but what you have done for me1 in showing me how to be good to my brother1 it has paid for you to come4 ,i often think of this little incident when ,i see boys at this critical age who are snubbed and teased just because they are leaving the land of boyhood to begin the difficult climb up the slopes of early manhood towards the grander height of maturity2 and ,i wish all parents1 sisters and older brothers would manifest a sympathy with the boy who1 swayed by inner forces and influenced by outward temptation1 is in a place of great danger4 ,the girl at this period is also passing through a crisis1 but this fact is better understood by her friends than is the crisis of the boy's life4 ,her parents are anxious that she shall pass the crisis safely1 and they have more patience with her eccentricities4 ,she1 too1 often shows nervousness1 irritability1 petulance1 or willfulness4 ,she has headaches and backaches1 she manifests lassitude and weariness1 and is1 perhaps1 quite changed from her former self4 ,she weeps easily or over nothing at all4 ,she is dissatisfied with herself and the whole world4 ,she feels certain vague1 romantic longings that she could not explain if she tried4 ,she inclines toward the reading of sensational love stories1 and if not well instructed and self-respecting may be easily led into flirtations or conduct that later in life may make her blush to remember4 ,certain physical changes begin to be manifest4 ,she increases rapidly in height1 her figure grows fuller and more rounded1 her breasts are often sore and tender4 ,hair makes its appearance on the body1 and altogether she seems to be blossoming out into a fuller and riper beauty4 ,she is changing from the girl to the woman1 and this is a matter of sex4 ,at this time the organs of sex1 which have been dormant1 awaken and take on their activity1 and it is this awakening which is making itself felt throughout her whole organization4 ,we are sometimes apt to think that sex is located in certain organs only1 but in truth sex1 while centralized in the reproductive organs1 makes itself manifest throughout the whole organization4 ,i used to feel somewhat indignant when ,i heard people talk of sex in mind1 and ,i boldly asserted that it did not exist1 that intellect was neuter and had no reference to sex2 but ,i do not feel so now4 ,when ,i see what an influence the awakening of sex has upon the entire body and upon the character1 ,i am led to believe that sex inheres in mind as well4 ,that does not mean that the brain of one sex is either inferior or superior to the other2 it means only that they differ2 that men and women see things from different standpoints2 that they are the two eyes of the race1 and the use of both is needed to a clear understanding of any problem of human interest4 ,you know that the true perspective of objects cannot be had with one eye only1 for each eye has its own range of vision1 and one eye can see much farther on one side of an object than the other can4 ,you can try this for yourself4 ,if1 then1 in viewing the vital problems of life we have the man's view only or the woman's view only1 we have not the true perspective4 ,we cannot say that either has superior powers of vision1 but we can say that they differ1 as this difference is inherent in them as men and women1 and not merely as individuals4 ,instead1 then1 of looking at sex as circumscribed1 and perhaps as something low and vulgar1 to be thought of and spoken of only with whispers or questionable mirth1 we should see that sex is ,god's divinest gift to humanity1 the power through which we come into the nearest likeness to ,himself--the function by which we become creators and transmitters of our powers of body1 mind1 and soul4 ,it is important that a young woman should understand her own structure and the functions of all her organs1 and so1 with this feeling of reverence for sex1 we will begin this study4 ,the trunk of the body is divided into three cavities2 the upper or thoracic cavity contains the heart and lungs2 the central or abdominal cavity contains the organs of nutrition1 the stomach1 liver1 bowels1 etc42 the lower or pelvic cavity contains two organs of elimination1 the bladder and the rectum1 and also the organs of reproduction1 or of sex4 ,between the outlet of bladder and bowels is the inlet to the reproductive organs4 ,this inlet is a narrow channel called the vagina1 and is about six inches in length4 ,at the upper end is the mouth of the womb or uterus4 ,the words mean the same1 but womb is ,anglo-,saxon and uterus is ,latin1 and as ,latin is the language of science1 we will use that word4 ,the uterus is the little nest or room in which the unborn baby has to live for three-fourths of a year4 ,it is a small organ1 about the size and shape of a small flattened pear4 ,it is suspended with the small end downwards1 and it is hollow4 ,it is held in place by broad ligaments that extend outward to the sides1 and by short1 round ligaments from front to back4 ,these ligaments do not hold it firmly in place1 for it is necessary that it should be able to rise out of the pelvic into the abdominal cavity during pregnancy1 as the baby grows too large to be contained in the small pelvic space4 ,on the posterior sides of the two broad ligaments are two small oval organs which are called ovaries1 meaning the place of the eggs4 ,,chapter ,,xiv4 ,,becoming ,a ,,woman4 ,perhaps you will remember that ,i once told you that all life is from an egg1 the life of the plant1 the fish1 the bird1 the human being4 ,in the book ,what a ,young ,girl ,ought to ,know we discussed how all life originates in an egg1 and why there must needs be fathers as well as mothers4 ,we found that some eggs were small1 were laid by the mothers in various places1 and then left to develop or to die4 ,others were larger1 covered with a large shell1 and kept warm by the mothers sitting over them until the little ones were hatched4 ,others were so small that they developed in the mother's body until1 as living creatures1 they were born into the world4 ,this is the case with the human being4 ,he is first an egg in the mother's ovary4 ,when this egg has reached a certain stage of development it passes from the ovary through a tube into the uterus4 ,if it meets there1 or on its way there1 the fertilizing principle of the male1 it remains there and develops into the child4 ,if it does not meet this principle1 it passes out through the vagina and is lost4 ,but the eggs1 or ova--which is the ,latin word meaning eggs--do not begin to ripen until the girl reaches the age of thirteen or fourteen1 or1 in other words1 until she begins to become a woman4 ,this passing away of the ovum 7singular of ova7 is called ovulation1 and it occurs in the woman about every twenty-eight days4 ,the uterus is lined by a mucous membrane similar to that which lines the mouth1 and at this time of ovulation this membrane becomes swollen and soft1 and little hemorrhages1 or bleedings1 occur for three or four days1 the blood passing away through the vagina4 ,this is called menstruation4 ,sometimes1 when girls have not been told beforehand of the facts of menstruation1 they become greatly frightened at seeing this blood and imagine that they have some dreadful disease4 ,if they have no friend to whom they can speak freely they sometimes do very injudicious things in their efforts to remove that which to them seems so strange and inexplicable4 ,i have known of girls who washed their clothes in cold water and put them on wet1 and so took cold and perhaps checked the menstrual flow1 and as a consequence were injured for life1 or may even have died years after as a result of this unwise conduct4 ,the girl who is wisely taught will recognize in this the outward sign of the fact that she has reached womanhood1 that she has entered upon what is called the maternal period of a woman's life1 the period when it is possible for her to become a mother4 ,this does not mean that she should become a mother while so young4 ,it only means that the sex organs are so far developed that they are beginning to take up their peculiar functions4 ,but they are like the immature buds of the flower1 and need time for a perfect development4 ,if she understands this1 and recognizes her added value to the world through the perfecting of her entire organism1 she will desire to take good care of herself1 and during these years of early young womanhood to develop into all that is possible of sweetness1 grace1 purity1 and all true womanliness4 ,girls who are not wisely taught sometimes feel that this new physical function is a vexatious hindrance to their happiness4 ,it is often accompanied with pain1 and its periodical recurrence interferes with their plans for pleasure1 and they in ignorance sometimes say1 rebelliously1 ,o1 ,i hate being a woman6 ,a young woman once came to consult me professionally4 ,she was a well-formed1 good-looking girl1 to all outward appearance lacking nothing in her physical make-up2 but she was now twenty-two and had never menstruated1 so she was aware that for some reason she was not like other girls4 ,she came to ask me to make an examination and find out1 if possible1 what was wrong4 ,she was engaged to be married1 and knew that motherhood was in some way connected with menstruation1 and she thought it might be possible that her physical condition would preclude the possibility of her becoming a mother1 and1 if so1 it would be dishonorable to marry4 ,upon examination ,i discovered that all the organs of reproduction were lacking4 ,when ,i disclosed this fact to her she exclaimed1 with sadness1 ,oh1 why was ,i not made like other girls8 ,i have heard them complain because they were girls1 but ,i think if they were in my place1 and knew that they could never have a home and children of their own1 they would feel they had greater reason then to complain4 ,i think so1 too4 ,we seldom think of the fact that upon sex depend all the sweet ties of home and family4 ,it is because of sex that we are fathers1 mothers and children2 that we have the dear family life1 with its anniversaries of weddings and birthdays4 ,it is through sex that the desolate of the earth are set in families1 and love and generosity have sway instead of selfishness4 ,for this reason we ought to regard sex with reverent thought1 to hold it sacred to the highest purposes1 to speak of it ever with purest delicacy1 and never with jesting or prurient smiles4 ,i do not want you to center your thought on the physical facts of sex1 but ,i would like to have you feel that womanhood1 which is the mental1 moral and physical expression of sex1 is a glorious1 divine gift1 to be received with solemn thankfulness4 ,i want you1 for the sake of a perfect womanhood1 to take care of your bodily health1 and yet ,i do not want you to feel that a woman must of necessity be a periodical semi-invalid4 ,,chapter ,,xv4 ,,artificialities ,,of ,,civilized ,,life4 ,menstruation is a perfectly physiological process and should be without pain4 ,indeed1 ,dr4 ,mary ,putnam ,jacobi maintains that a woman ought to feel more life1 vigor and ambition at that period than at any other time4 ,as a fact1 however1 the majority of civilized women feel more or less lassitude and discomfort1 and many suffer intensely4 ,whenever there is actual pain at any stage of the monthly period1 it is because something is wrong1 either in the dress1 or the diet1 or the personal and social habits of the individual4 ,we certainly cannot believe that a kind and just ,god has made it necessary for women to suffer merely because they are women1 and the observation of travelers among uncivilized peoples seems to indicate that where life is conducted according to nature's laws1 the limitations of sex are less observable4 ,it is difficult for us to understand how very far our lives are from being natural4 ,professor ,emmett1 a world-renowned specialist in diseases peculiar to women1 says3 ,at the very dawn of womanhood the young girl begins to live an artificial life utterly inconsistent with normal development4 ,the girl of the period is made a woman before her time by associating too much with her elders1 and in diet1 dress1 habits and tastes becomes at an early age but a reflection of her elder sisters4 ,she may have acquired every accomplishment1 and yet will have been kept in ignorance of the simplest features of her organization1 and of the requirements for the preservation of her health4 ,her bloom is often as transient as that of the hothouse plant1 where the flower has been forced by cultivation to an excess of development by stunting the growth of its branches and limiting the spread of its roots4 ,a girl is scarcely in her teens before custom requires a change in her dress4 ,her shoulder-straps and buttons are given up for a number of strings about her waist and the additional weight of an increased length in skirt is added4 ,she is unable to take the proper kind or necessary amount of exercise1 even if she were not taught that it would be unladylike to make the attempt4 ,her waist is drawn into a shape little adapted to accommodate the organs placed there1 and as the abdominal and spinal muscles are seldom brought into play they become atrophied4 ,the viscera are thus compressed and displaced1 and as the full play of the abdominal wall and the descent of the diaphragm are interfered with1 the venous blood is hindered in its return to the heart4 ,since ,professor ,emmett wrote this1 public sentiment has changed1 and it is no longer unladylike for girls to exercise2 but with this increased freedom in custom should also come increased physical freedom through healthful clothing that allows perfect use of every muscle1 more especially of the breathing muscles4 ,i am sure you would rather pay out your money for that which shall add to your health and real happiness than to pay physicians to help you from suffering the just penalty of your own wrongdoing1 and that is why ,i am anxious to give you this needed instruction4 ,i do not care to have you study much about diseases1 but ,i want you to understand very fully how1 through care of yourself1 to prevent disease4 ,,chapter ,,xvi4 ,,some ,,causes ,,of ,,painful ,,menstruation4 ,there should be no pain at menstruation1 but that pain is quite common cannot be denied4 ,let us look for other causes than are found in the dress4 ,one frequent cause is found in the ignorance of girls1 and their consequent injudicious conduct at the time of the beginning of sexual activity4 ,at this time of life the girl is often called lazy because she manifests lassitude1 and this is nature's indication that she should rest4 ,the vital forces are busy establishing a new function1 and the energy that has been expressed in bodily activity is now being otherwise employed4 ,the girl who has been properly brought up1 whose muscles are strong1 and whose nervous supply is abundant1 may have no need of especial care at this time1 but the average girl needs much judicious care1 in order that her physical womanhood shall be healthfully established4 ,she should be guarded from taking cold1 from overexertion1 from social dissipation1 and especially from mental excitement1 and other causes of nervousness4 ,i would like to call your attention to the great evil of romance-reading1 both in the production of premature development and in the creation of morbid mental states which will tend to the production of physical evils1 such as nervousness1 hysteria1 and a host of maladies which largely depend upon disturbed nerves4 ,girls are not apt to understand the evils of novel-reading1 and may think it is only because mothers have outlived their days of romance that they object to their daughters enjoying such sentimental reading2 but the wise mother understands the effects of sensational reading upon the physical organization1 and wishes to protect her daughter from the evils thus produced4 ,it is not only that novel-reading engenders false and unreal ideas of life1 but the descriptions of love-scenes1 of thrilling1 romantic episodes1 find an echo in the girl's physical system and tend to create an abnormal excitement of her organs of sex1 which she recognizes only as a pleasurable mental emotion1 with no comprehension of the physical origin or the evil effects4 ,romance-reading by young girls will1 by this excitement of the bodily organs1 tend to create their premature development1 and the child becomes physically a woman months1 or even years1 before she should4 ,in one case it became my duty to warn a girl of eleven1 who was an omnivorous reader of romances1 that such reading was in all probability hastening her development1 and she would become a woman in bodily functions while she ought yet to be a child4 ,her indications of approaching womanhood were very apparent4 ,by becoming impressed by my words she gave up romance-reading1 devoted herself to outdoor sports1 to nature studies1 and the vital forces diverted from the reproductive system were employed in building up her physical energy1 her health improved1 her nervousness disappeared1 and three years later her function of menstruation was painlessly established4 ,a frequent cause of painful menstruation is found in habitual neglect of the bowels4 ,the evils of constipation are common to the majority of women and girls1 and the foundation is laid in childhood4 ,mothers are not careful enough in instructing children in the need of care in this respect1 and so the habit is formed early in life1 and the results are felt later4 ,if the bowels are not evacuated regularly the matter to be cast out of the body accumulates in the rectum and large bowel1 and by pressure the circulation of the blood is impeded and congestion ensues4 ,this extends to all the pelvic organs2 the uterus and ovaries thus congested will soon manifest disease1 and painful menstruation be the result4 ,one of the most frequent causes of pain is congestion produced by displacements4 ,people are very apt to think that the displacement of the uterus is the main factor1 but in my opinion it is a secondary condition1 and not the one to be first considered4 ,the uterus is a small organ1 not vital to the individual1 is very movable1 and not sensitive1 so that its displacement alone could hardly be considered sufficient to cause so great a train of evils as is frequently manifest4 ,but the liver1 stomach and bowels are large1 vital organs1 and their displacement leads to greater consequences4 ,you learned at school that the bowels are over twenty feet in length1 weigh as much as twelve or fifteen pounds1 are supported in a way that makes it possible for them to sag into the abdominal cavity and press upon the pelvic organs4 ,dr4 ,emerson1 of the ,boston ,school of ,oratory1 asserts that in most adults the stomach and bowels are from two to six inches below their normal location2 and1 as ,i have said before1 ,dr4 ,kellogg often finds the stomach lying in the abdominal cavity as low down as the umbilicus4 ,what has caused this sagging of the abdominal viscera8 ,they certainly must have been intended to keep their place unless there has been some interference4 ,we find just such interference in the ordinary arrangement of the clothing4 ,tight waists and bands1 and skirts supported by the hips1 are cause sufficient for these displacements4 ,just above the hips there is no bony structure to protect and support the soft1 muscular parts4 ,they yield to pressure1 and the internal viscera1 deprived of muscular support1 sink until they rest on the pelvic organs4 ,if1 when you look at your abdomen1 you see depressions or hollows on each side below the floating ribs1 you may know that the bowels have sagged down out of place4 ,if you feel great weariness1 backache1 or a dragged down feeling in standing or walking1 you may know that the contents of the abdomen are pulling on their attachments or pressing on the pelvic organs4 ,thus displaced1 circulation is hindered and the organs all become congested1 or filled with blood that moves very slowly4 ,this congested condition is increased at menstruation1 and great pain may result4 ,it is well to have the counsel of some good1 honest physician under such circumstances1 but should you be where it is not possible to have such counsel1 you may still be able to do something to help yourself4 ,in the first place1 you can rearrange your clothing so as to relieve all the organs from external weight or pressure1 and1 in the second place1 you can support the abdominal walls by applying pressure from below4 ,i have known cases of painful menstruation entirely relieved by simply supporting the bowels by a bandage1 thus relieving the uterus of pressure and allowing a free circulation through all the internal organs4 ,a very simple and practical bandage can be made at home at almost no cost1 either in time or money4 ,buy some thin1 cheap cotton flannel4 ,take lengthwise of the goods a strip long enough to go around the body at the hips1 which will be a yard or a little over1 and wide enough to fit from the thighs up to the waist1 perhaps eight inches4 ,put darts on the sides and in the center of the back1 to make it fit the figure4 ,make a couple of straps four inches wide and half a yard long2 cut off one end of each diagonally4 ,sew these slanting ends to the lower side of the band about four inches from the center1 that is eight inches apart1 and so that the short side of the strap will be towards the center4 ,do not hem either band or straps1 but overcast them2 then they will not feel uncomfortable4 ,in order to adjust the band properly it will be well to lie down on the back upon the bandage with the knees raised4 ,press the hands low down upon the abdomen and raise the contents4 ,repeat this several times2 then draw the bandage around1 pin with safety pins1 draw the straps up between the limbs and fasten with safety pins to the bandage4 ,the support thus given is found to be very comfortable1 and girls who have much trouble in walking or standing during their menstrual periods would find this simple bandage a great help at that time4 ,when the bandage is removed at night you should rub and manipulate the abdominal walls so as to increase the circulation and stimulate in them a better circulation and thus make you stronger4 ,by deep breathing in a proper standing attitude the abdominal viscera are lifted upward1 and if the firmness of the abdominal walls is at the same time increased by exercise1 the difficulties may be largely overcome4 ,some exercises will be found in ,chapter ,,xxiii4 which are calculated to strengthen the walls and to lift the internal organs4 ,i wish to call your attention to a cause of displacement that is quite generally overlooked1 and that is1 a wrong attitude4 ,dr4 ,eliza ,mosher has made a very thorough study of this matter1 and she says that the common habit of standing on one foot is productive of marked deformities of both face and body and of serious displacements of internal organs4 ,it is seldom a girl or woman can be found whose body is perfectly symmetrical4 ,by standing on one foot1 the hip and shoulder of one side approach each other1 and so lessen the space within the abdomen on that side4 ,on the other side a support has been removed for the contents of the abdomen1 and they sag down until they pry the uterus out of place and press it over towards the side where there is less pressure4 ,the broad ligament on one side is stretched from use and on the other side shortened from disuse1 and so the uterus remains permanently dislocated4 ,dr4 ,mosher thinks that standing continually with the weight on the left foot is more injurious than bearing it on the right foot1 for it causes the uterus and ovaries to press upon the rectum and so produces a mechanical constipation1 especially during menstruation4 ,wrong habits of sitting will produce the same results4 ,if the girl sits at school with one elbow on the desk1 the head will be turned to the opposite side and the spine will be inclined from the perpendicular1 and a lateral curvature be likely to result4 ,if she carries her books always on the same side1 it will tend to increase the curvature4 ,if she sits with both elbows supported1 her shoulders will be pushed up4 ,if her body is twisted as she sits1 a strain comes upon the muscles1 and some ligaments will be lengthened and others shortened1 thus producing a lateral curvature4 ,to sit on the small of the back1 that is1 slipping down in the chair1 bracing the shoulders against the chair-back1 tends to injure the nerves by pressure1 and also to create a posterior curvature of the spine4 ,does it not seem unfortunate that we should allow ourselves even to form such wrong habits of sitting and standing8 ,and now we ask1 ,how shall we know when we are in a correct attitude8 ,we have comparatively few correct examples to imitate4 ,i notice people everywhere1 and ,i see that old and young stand incorrectly4 ,the head is poked forward1 the shoulders are rounded1 the chest is flattened1 and the curve in the lower part of the back is straightened4 ,the whole figure is out of balance1 and therefore not harmonious4 ,not only is the beauty of the figure destroyed1 but the internal organs are displaced4 ,many a mother who sees her daughter thus growing round-shouldered keeps telling her to throw her shoulders back2 but to follow this command only increases the difficulty4 ,the shoulders are not primarily at fault1 but the trouble originates in non-use of the front waist muscles4 ,these muscles1 weakened by disease because of tight clothing and corset steels1 and also by cramped positions in school or at work1 refuse to hold the body erect1 and it lops just at this point4 ,this lopping disturbs the harmonious relation of the weights of shoulders1 abdomen1 head1 and the large lower gluteal muscles with which nature has cushioned the lower part of the body1 and so they are obliged to readjust themselves to balance each other1 and the awkward1 ungainly1 unhealthful posture results4 ,what is needed is to restore the right relation of these weights and all will again be harmonious4 ,do not interfere with the shoulders1 but straighten the front of the body by elevating the chest and raising the head until it is supported directly on the spine1 letting the shoulders take care of themselves4 ,if the abdomen is now held back and the gluteal muscles raised1 the beautiful curves of the spine will be restored1 the shoulders will be straightened1 and the internal organs will have a chance to resume their natural position4 ,a very easy way of finding out if you have the correct attitude is to place your toes against the bottom of the door4 ,now bring your chest up to touch the door1 and throw the lower part of the spine backward so that there will be a space between the abdomen and the door4 ,place the head erect1 with the chin drawn in towards the neck1 and you will have very nearly the correct attitude4 ,it may seem a little tiresome at first1 because you will be apt to hold yourself in position with needless tension of muscles1 but you will soon learn to relax the unnecessary tension1 and then you will find the position the most comfortable possible4 ,you can walk farther without fatigue1 and stand longer without backache1 because the body is placed in the attitude in which all parts occupy their designed relation to each other4 ,one very important fact is that in the wrong attitude the abdominal organs crowd down into the pelvis1 while in the correct position they are supported and kept from sagging1 so that the matter of a correct attitude is not only a matter of beauty1 but also of health4 ,in sitting1 also1 the most comfortable posture is the most healthful2 that is1 with the body squarely placed on the seat1 and equally supported upon the pelvis--not leaning back against the chair1 unless the chair should chance to be so constructed that it supports the lower part of the back and keeps the body erect4 ,,chapter ,,xvii4 ,,female ,,diseases4 ,we hear a great deal in these days of female diseases1 by which is meant the displacements of the organs of the reproductive system2 that is1 of the uterus1 ovaries1 etc4 ,these displacements are many1 for the uterus may not only drop down out of place1 but it may be tipped towards one side or the other1 to the front or the back2 or it may be bent upon itself in various directions4 ,these different displacements cause much pain1 and often result in ulcerations and profuse discharges which are known as the whites1 or scientifically as leucorrhea4 ,i only mention these things incidentally1 so that ,i may call your attention to the things you may do to prevent them4 ,a great many girls and women are spending large sums of money in being doctored for these difficulties who need not suffer with them at all if they had known how to dress healthfully2 and many are bearing much anxiety over the possibility of becoming sufferers with these distressing diseases who could have their burden of fear removed by the knowledge that female diseases1 in the great majority of cases1 are the results of wrong habits of dress and life4 ,leucorrhea is not a disease4 ,it is a symptom of abnormal conditions1 and to be cured it is needful that the conditions shall be understood4 ,dr4 ,kellogg says1 ,leucorrhea may result from simple congestion of the bloodvessels of the vaginal mucous membrane1 due to improper dress4 ,it may also be occasioned by taking cold1 and by a debilitated condition of the stomach4 ,leucorrhea is merely an abnormal increase of a normal secretion4 ,all mucous membrane secretes mucus in small quantities--enough to keep the membrane moist4 ,when from any cause this secretion is increased1 we have what is called a catarrhal condition4 ,as all cavities that communicate with the air are lined with mucous membrane1 this catarrhal condition may exist in the nose1 the throat1 the eyes1 the ears1 the bowels1 or the reproductive organs1 and will be named according to the location4 ,a natural increase of this secretion takes place just before and after menstruation1 and should occasion no anxiety1 but if continued during the remainder of the month1 especially if very profuse1 of offensive odor1 or bloody in character1 it needs the attention of the skilled physician4 ,i do not wish to make you think constantly of yourself as diseased1 and so ,i do not give you directions as to local self-treatment4 ,many symptoms can be overcome by general care of the health-habits of the girl1 and if they do not yield to this general care it is better to consult a responsible physician than to tamper with yourself4 ,and here let me give you a word of warning4 ,if you need medical care1 never consult the traveling doctors who advertise to do such wonderful things4 ,they charge big fees and give a little medicine and then move on1 and you have no redress if they have not accomplished all that they have promised4 ,they live off the gullibility of people4 ,again1 never take patent medicines4 ,wonderful discoveries1 favorite prescriptions and the like may be harmless1 and they may not4 ,and even if they are1 how can you judge that they are suited to your special case8 ,that they cured some one else is not proof that they will benefit you1 and you run a risk by taking them as an experiment4 ,one very serious danger in the taking of patent medicines is the fact that they are so largely alcoholic in composition1 and girls and women have all too often been led into the alcohol habit and become habitual drunkards through taking some advertised remedy4 ,another has correctly said3 ,if you need the consultation and advice of a physician go to your family physician1 or1 if you prefer1 go to some other physician2 but always select one whose moral character and acknowledged ability render him a suitable and safe adviser in such a time of need4 ,above all things avoid quacks4 ,the policy they pursue is to frighten you1 to work upon your imagination1 and to make such alarming and unreliable statements as will induce you to purchase their nostrums and subject yourself to such a series of humiliations and impositions as will enable them to pilfer your purse and without rendering you in return any value received1 but likely leave you in a much worse condition than they found you4 ,you will probably be advised by your personal friends1 who may know of your ailments1 to take hot douches1 and perhaps you may wonder why ,i do not prescribe them for leucorrhea1 and kindred difficulties4 ,i do not commend them for the fact that ,i do not want you to be turning your constantly anxious thought towards yourself in these matters4 ,if you need such treatment1 let it be prescribed by your physician1 who knows exactly your condition4 ,as far as possible turn your thoughts from the reproductive system4 ,take care of your general health1 dress properly1 obey all the rules of hygiene in regard to diet1 sleep1 bathing1 special cleanliness1 and care1 and then forget as far as possible the physical facts of womanhood4 ,an excellent addition to your general bathing can be taken once a week in the form of a sitz bath1 which is effective for cleanliness1 and also for the reduction of congestion4 ,if you have no sitz bath-tub1 an ordinary wash-tub can be made to answer by raising one side an inch or two by means of some support4 ,have the water at a comfortable temperature1 say about #ih degrees1 and if you have no thermometer you can gauge the heat by putting in three gallons of cold water and add one gallon of boiling water4 ,sit down in the tub and cover yourself with a blanket4 ,in about ten minutes add by degrees a gallon of cold water4 ,remain sitting a minute or two longer1 then rub dry4 ,many people are afraid to use cold water after hot1 in bathing1 for fear they will take cold1 but that is just the way to prevent such a result from the hot bath4 ,the hot water has caused all the pores on the surface of the body to open1 and the bodily heat is rapidly lost through this cause4 ,the cold water1 quickly applied1 causes the pores to close1 leaves the skin in a tonic condition1 and conserves the bodily heat4 ,one should never take a hot bath without following it with a quick cold application to the surface4 ,it should continue1 however1 but for a moment4 ,this kind of a bath is very useful for all chronic congestions of the abdominal and pelvic viscera1 such as piles1 constipation1 painful menstruation1 leucorrhea1 or other affections of the reproductive organs4 ,it is also very helpful in headaches due to congestion of the brain4 ,if there is too little blood in the brain it might produce wakefulness1 but when the brain is too full of blood this bath tends to produce sound and refreshing sleep4 ,a foot bath may be taken at the same time as the sitz bath1 and in this case the water should be warmer than that in the sitz bath1 and as the person rises from the sitz bath she should step into it1 so that her feet will get the tonic effect of the cold water4 ,the average age at which menstruation first appears is fourteen1 but some girls menstruate as early as eleven1 while others may not develop till some years later4 ,frequently1 when the girl does not manifest this symptom of womanly development1 the mother becomes anxious and begins to give forcing medicines4 ,she knows that girls often die with consumption in their early young womanhood1 and has heard that it was because they did not physically develop1 and she fears that such danger threatens her daughter1 and imagines that if something can be done to bring on her courses1 as she expresses it1 the danger will be averted4 ,in this case she has reversed cause and effect4 ,the consumptive girl did not menstruate because she had not the vitality to do so4 ,the consumption was the cause1 the non-menstruation the effect4 ,to produce hemorrhage from the reproductive system by strong1 forcing medicines is only to increase the danger4 ,the only thing to do is to improve the general health1 and if the girl can increase in strength until she has more vital force than suffices to keep her alive1 the function that is vital--not to her1 but to the race--will establish itself4 ,the failure of the menses to appear at the average age may be due merely to a slow development1 and in this case there is nothing to do but wait4 ,if the girl seems well1 if she has no backache1 no headache1 no general lassitude1 no undue nervous symptoms1 the mere non-appearance of the menses need occasion no alarm4 ,if1 however1 she has these symptoms1 it is an evidence that nature is attempting to establish the function and is hindered either by general lack of vitality or by some local condition1 and in either case the giving of forcing medicines would be a mistake4 ,the weekly sitz bath would do no harm as a semi-local measure4 ,all proper precautions should be observed as to maintenance of general health and mental serenity1 and if these do not prove sufficient the physician should be consulted4 ,in the case ,i mentioned1 where the reproductive organs were lacking1 the girl had been subjected to a long course of home medication which had proven disastrous to her digestion1 and yet1 as will be readily understood1 had not resulted in the establishment of a function that is dependent upon organs which1 in this case1 did not exist4 ,sometimes there are slight mechanical hindrances which can only be determined by the physician1 though their presence will be indicated by the symptoms of menstruation without the accompanying sanguineous discharge4 ,in these cases the home medication is dangerous4 ,if the girl regularly has symptoms of approaching menstruation1 with pain and bloating1 and these subside without flow1 it would be wise to consult the physician instead of resorting to domestic remedies or letting the matter go on without attention4 ,quite frequently the first appearance of menstruation is followed by weeks or even months of freedom from its reappearance4 ,in these cases no alarm need be felt as long as the general health is not affected4 ,again1 there may be suspension of the function from change of surroundings4 ,girls who go away to school often suffer from irregularity4 ,i have known of a case where the girl never menstruated during the school year1 but was perfectly regular during vacations4 ,these cases may be accounted for by the nervous strain1 the using up of vital forces in mental effort to such degree that there is nothing left with which to carry on the menstrual function4 ,in all such cases it is wise to watch carefully the general health1 and if all functions are not properly conducted1 to reduce the strain until the vitality is able to keep all functions in order4 ,girls are sometimes disturbed because the flow is scanty1 and think they should do something to increase the amount4 ,it is no doubt true that profuse menstrual flow is the result of our artificial lives4 ,if we lived more normally we should have naturally a scanty menstrual flow4 ,therefore if a girl has good health and no monthly pain and the flow is scanty1 she may consider herself as more nearly in a normal state1 and be thankful4 ,if1 however1 the menses are suddenly less than normal it denotes a suppression1 which may be the result of cold1 exhaustion of body1 weariness of nerves1 mental anxiety1 or disturbance of the emotions4 ,if gradual suppression occurs1 accompanied by loss of health1 it indicates some constitutional difficulty or local trouble which demands professional counsel4 ,profuse menstruation is also a relative term1 as there is no definite standard as to amount of menstrual flow1 nor the length of time it should continue4 ,the profuseness must be measured by the condition of the individual4 ,where health seems fully maintained there would appear no cause for anxiety4 ,but if there is a marked increase over the amount usual for the individual1 if great weakness and prostration is produced1 either at the time or afterward1 it may be called profuse1 and the cause may be either debility1 that is weakness1 or plethora1 which means fullness4 ,if from the latter1 there will be throbbing headache1 pain in the back1 and general signs of fever4 ,if from debility1 there will be pallor1 weakness1 and perhaps an almost continuous flow4 ,as may be imagined1 the treatment in the two cases will differ4 ,the full-blooded girl should be put on a plain1 unstimulating diet1 with plenty of out-door exercise during the month1 but about twenty-four hours before the flow is expected she should have complete mental and physical rest4 ,she should remain in bed1 and apply cold wet cloths over the abdomen and between the thighs for an hour at a time1 with intervals of at least one-half hour between the applications4 ,the bowels should be freed from all fecal matter1 and cool1 small enemas be given two or three times a day4 ,if these simple measures do not avail1 the doctor should be consulted4 ,the pale and debilitated girl needs to rest4 ,sometimes1 if hemorrhage continues almost from one period to the next1 she should remain in bed even after the flow seems checked4 ,the great desideratum is to build up the general health1 not by tonics1 which are usually only stimulants1 but by the judicious observance of the laws of health4 ,this will1 in many cases1 call for the advice of the physician1 who can see and study the patient and her special conditions4 ,it is not safe to trust to book-doctoring4 ,,chapter ,,xviii4 ,,care ,,during ,,menstruation4 ,i have said that ,i do not want you to think yourself a semi-invalid and so be fussy about yourself1 but ,i have also said that ,i want you to take care of yourself at all times1 and especially during your menstrual periods4 ,how can you make these ideas agree with each other8 ,i know that many writers say that a girl should spend one day each month in bed1 or at least lying down2 that there are some things that should always be forbidden to girls1 simply because they are girls1 such as running up and down stairs4 ,these wholesale restrictions make girls rebellious at their womanhood4 ,i simply want you to use good sense at all times in your care of yourself4 ,knowing the fact that just before and during menstruation the uterus is heavier than at other times1 because engorged with blood1 and remembering that it is loosely suspended1 it is easy to understand that long walks or severe exercise at the menstrual period will more easily cause it to sag1 and this sagging becoming permanent may cause pain1 backache1 and other discomforts4 ,therefore1 having good sense1 you will not plan to take long rides or walks or do any severe exercise4 ,at the same time moderate exercise in proper clothing will tend to relieve pelvic congestion by equalizing the circulation1 and if the clothing is properly adjusted and the muscles are strong and well-developed1 an ordinary amount of physical activity may be beneficial rather than harmful4 ,girls are so often told that they must not walk at their monthly periods1 must not study1 must not ride1 etc41 etc41 that it really is no wonder that they feel it a very undesirable thing to be a woman4 ,my observation leads me to believe that if girls from earliest childhood were dressed loosely1 with no clothing suspended on the hips1 if their muscles were well developed through judicious exercise1 they would seldom find it necessary to be semi-invalids at any time4 ,in fact1 we do sometimes find a young woman who has no consciousness of physical disturbance during menstruation4 ,she can pursue her usual avocations without hindrance1 and finds her physical womanhood no bar to any enjoyment4 ,this is as it should be2 but as girls have not all been well developed and properly dressed1 we cannot assert that all girls can be indifferent to physical conditions at this time4 ,if a girl is well1 has no pain or discomfort1 then ,i would say1 let her use good common sense in the ordering of her daily life and give the matter no special or anxious thought4 ,if she has pain or uneasiness1 let her govern her life accordingly1 using care1 taking some rest at the time of the menses2 but1 above all things1 let her arrange her clothing at all times so as to secure for herself absolute freedom of movement4 ,then let her1 during the intervals between the menstrual periods1 endeavor by judicious exercise to build up strong muscular structure around the vital organs1 such structure as will support the viscera where they belong1 and in time she will probably find herself growing free from menstrual pain4 ,during the painful periods resulting from congestion it is often advisable to keep the recumbent position1 and to use heat both externally and internally4 ,however1 ,i would advise never using alcoholic beverages4 ,their apparent usefulness lies principally in the hot water with which they are administered1 and the danger of forming the alcohol habit is too great to justify their use4 ,there are cases of nervous pain at menstruation that are aggravated by heat and diminished by cold4 ,i knew such a case where a girl at school1 suffering with menstrual pain1 alarmed teachers and friends by wringing towels out of cold water and laying them over her abdomen4 ,but the alarm subsided when they saw that the pain soon passed away under the cold application4 ,the girl was one in whom there were no local congestions1 but great nervous exhaustion and heat always increased her sufferings1 while cold allayed4 ,i have read that a woman should not bathe or change her underwear while menstruating4 ,i cannot see how soiled clothing can be more healthful than that which is clean2 and if well-aired1 ,i should no more object to your putting on clean underwear than to your changing your dress4 ,most especially would ,i advise a frequent change of napkins1 in order to remove those which are soiled from their irritating contact with the body4 ,a full bath during menstruation would1 for most people1 be unadvisable1 but the cleansing of the private parts is imperative4 ,for this1 tepid water1 with good soap1 may be used daily or oftener4 ,other parts of the body may be rubbed with a wet cloth1 followed by vigorous1 dry rubbing4 ,cleanliness at all times is certainly a mark of refinement4 ,you should use good sense and not run out in thin slippers on wet or cold ground2 but if your feet get wet through accident1 keep in motion until you can make a change of shoes and stockings4 ,there is little danger from wet feet to those in good health1 if they keep in vigorous motion4 ,as to other rules1 they are those that pertain to the care of health at all times3 loose clothing1 deep breathing1 wholesome food1 plenty of sleep1 sunlight1 pure air1 exercise according to your strength1 and1 above all1 serenity of mind1 accepting the fact of physical womanhood1 together with a recognition of its sacredness and dignity4 ,as a minor item1 ,i would suggest that the napkins be fastened to straps that go over the shoulder and are then joined together in front and back to an end piece1 on each of which a button is sewn4 ,buttonholes in the napkins at the corners1 diagonal from each other1 will make them easily attached or removed4 ,the napkins should be of a material that is quickly absorbent of the flow4 ,cheesecloth is cheap1 and can be burned or otherwise disposed of after using4 ,it may be protected by an outer strip of unbleached muslin which is almost water-proof4 ,a very comfortable way of arranging napkins that are to be used from time to time is to take a piece of linen or cotton diaper sixteen inches square4 ,about three inches from one end1 make on each side an incision four inches long4 ,fold this strip in the middle lengthwise1 and sew together up to the end of the incisions4 ,this makes a band with a sort of pocket in the middle4 ,hem the cut edges4 ,fold the napkin over1 four inches on each side1 that is as deep as the incisions4 ,then fold crosswise until you can enclose the whole in the pocket in the band4 ,this makes a thick center and thin ends by which to attach the napkin to the suspender4 ,i hold that mental serenity is one of the essentials of healthful menstrual periods1 and this cannot be had if the mind is continually troubled and the thought centered on the physical condition4 ,i would be glad to have your mind freed from the ideas of sex matters as far as possible4 ,it is a scientific fact that thinking continually of an organ tends to disturb that organ4 ,i know a man who was so afraid of heart disease that he felt of his pulse every few minutes and kept a stethoscope on the head of his bed to listen to his heart in the night4 ,i would have been surprised had he not had heart trouble4 ,,chapter ,,xix4 ,,solitary ,,vice4 ,as the reproductive system awakens to activity it naturally attracts the attention of the girl1 and an effort should be made to call her thoughts to other themes4 ,as ,i have said before1 the reading of sensational love stories is most detrimental4 ,the descriptions of passionate love scenes arouse in the reader a thrill through her own sexual organism that tends to increase its activity and derange its normal state4 ,girls often mature into women earlier than they should1 because through romances1 through jests of associates in regard to beaus and lovers1 and through indulgence in sentimental fancies their sexual systems are unduly stimulated and aroused4 ,this stimulation sometimes leads to the formation of an evil habit1 known as self-abuse4 ,the stimulation of the sex organs is accompanied with a pleasurable sensation1 and this excitement may be created by mechanical means1 or even by thought4 ,many girls who are victims of this most injurious habit are unaware of its dangers1 although they instinctively feel that they do not want it known4 ,others who would not stoop to a mechanical exciting of themselves do so through thoughts1 and do not know that they are just as truly guilty of self-abuse as the girl who uses the hand or other mechanical means4 ,the results of self-abuse are most disastrous4 ,it destroys mental power and memory1 it blotches the complexion1 dulls the eye1 takes away the strength1 and may even cause insanity4 ,it is a habit most difficult to overcome1 and may not only last for years1 but in its tendency be transmitted to one's children4 ,if you have from the first thought nobly of yourself1 you will have fallen into no such debasing habit4 ,but if1 through ignorance1 you have acquired it1 how shall you overcome it8 ,i should hesitate to write more on this subject did ,i not know that many girls fall victims to this evil through ignorance1 and many who thus fall could and would have been saved had they been rightly instructed4 ,i therefore desire that you shall be wise4 ,every normal function of the body is attended with a pleasurable sensation4 ,we enjoy eating1 seeing1 walking4 ,odors bring sensations which are agreeable1 the sense of touch may give pleasure1 and as we enjoy these sensations in fact1 so we may enjoy them in memory or in imagination4 ,we can recall the beauty of the rose1 the perfume of the mignonette1 the flavor of the orange1 or we can imagine new combinations of these delights4 ,we feel joy or grief through reading vivid descriptions1 or we can ourselves create imaginary scenes in which we are actors1 who suffer or enjoy4 ,the reproductive system is the seat of great nervous susceptibility1 and the excitation of these nerves gives a pleasurable sensation4 ,this excitation may be thought a local mechanical irritation or it may be mental4 ,in little children it may be caused by lack of cleanliness of the external organs4 ,an irritation is produced1 and an attempt to allay this by rubbing produces an agreeable feeling1 which may be repeated until the evil habit of self-abuse is formed4 ,sometimes constipation1 by creating a pelvic congestion1 will have the same result4 ,sometimes clothing which is too small may1 by undue pressure on the parts1 call the thought of the child to these organs1 and in an attempt to remove the pressure by pulling the clothing away the habit may be begun4 ,sometimes the tiny pin-worms in the rectum may wander into the vagina1 and the little girl feel a constant annoyance1 which rubbing allays temporarily1 but which results in the evil habit of the use of the hands to produce an agreeable sensation4 ,thus through avoidable causes the evil habit may be acquired4 ,then it may be taught by one thus learning it to another who1 without this instruction1 would never have acquired it4 ,but new dangers arise as the girl approaches the age when the reproductive system begins to take on the activity that indicates approaching womanhood4 ,the normal congestion of the parts causes a hitherto unknown consciousness of sex1 and unless she is warned she may at this period acquire the habit without knowing its evils4 ,all functions necessary to the preservation of the individual life are attended with pleasure1 and so are those which are for the continuation of the species4 ,while the emotion may be pleasurable1 it is at the same time the most exhausting1 that can be experienced4 ,we see that in some forms of animal existence parenthood is purchased at the expense of the life of the parent2 and while in the human being the procreative act does not kill1 it exhausts1 and no doubt takes from the vital force of those exercising it4 ,one can feel justified to lose a part of her own life if she is conferring life upon others1 but to indulge in such a waste of vital force merely for pleasure is certainly never excusable1 and least excusable of all is the arousing of pleasurable emotions by a direct violation of natural law4 ,the only natural method of arousing a recognition of sexual feeling is as ,god has appointed in holy marriage1 and the self-respecting girl feels that no approach of personal familiarity is either right or proper4 ,but it may be that she does not know that feelings may be awakened by the imagination which are as wrong morally as1 and more injurious physically than1 actual deeds1 and so may allow her mind to revel in fancies that would shock her as actualities4 ,i received a letter not long ago from a young woman who most emphatically asserted that she would never1 never1 never permit familiarities1 and then most innocently says1 but it wouldn't be wrong to imagine yourself enjoying the embrace of some certain one1 would it8 ,it is just this idea that there is no wrong in thought that weakens virtue's fortress and renders it easily demolished4 ,girls who would shrink from use of mechanical means to arouse sexual desire will permit themselves to revel in imaginary scenes of love-making with real or unreal individuals1 or in mental pictures which arouse the spasmodic feelings of sexual pleasure1 and yet be unaware that they are guilty of self-abuse4 ,sexual feeling in itself is not base1 but it can be debased either in thought or in deed4 ,rightly considered1 it is the indication of the possession of the most sacred powers1 that of the perpetuation of life4 ,passion is the instinct for preservation of one's kind1 the voice of the life principle1 the sign of creative power4 ,these last four words open before us a wonderful field of thought4 ,creative power6 ,what does that mean8 ,is creative power limited to reproduction of kind8 ,do you not create when you work out with brain some idea and then embody it in some visible form8 ,worth is said to create an artistic dress1 the actor creates his part in the play1 the musician creates the arrangement of harmonies which are represented in musical signs1 and in the same sense you may be in a myriad of ways a creator4 ,with the beginning of activity of sexual life in yourself came increased development and new energy1 beauty1 and power1 and the preservation and right use of that life will continue to be a source of power4 ,when the signs of this creative power come throbbing and pulsing in every fiber1 it only shows that one has more and greater ability to create than ever before4 ,one knows by this that she can now do greater work than she has done or is doing2 so says one writer4 ,is it not a beautiful thought that this feeling1 which we have supposed we must fight as something low1 is in reality the stirring of a divine impulse which we can control and govern and make to serve us in all high and noble deeds8 ,if you hold such noble thoughts in your heart concerning yourself1 you will need no threatenings to keep you from self-debasement and self-defilement4 ,you will not need to be told of the loss of physical strength or of beauty1 of memory or of reason1 through evil habits of solitary vice1 for they will have no temptation for you1 even as you do not need threats of police and prisons to keep you from stealing1 because honesty is the active and guiding principle of your life4 ,but supposing you have already acquired the evil habit and are now awakened to the wrong you are doing yourself2 you observe the lack of lustre in the eye1 the sallow1 blotched complexion2 you realize your loss of nerve-power manifested in cold and clammy hands1 backache1 lassitude1 irritability1 lack of memory1 and inability to concentrate thought4 ,what shall you do to overcome and to gain control of yourself8 ,the question is a serious one1 for no habit is more tyrannical than the dominion of unrestrained sexual desire4 ,its victims often fight for years1 only to be conquered at last4 ,if there was no cure but in fighting1 ,i should feel that the case was almost hopeless4 ,the very first thing to do is to change the mental attitude in regard to the whole matter of sex2 to hold it in thought as sacred1 holy1 consecrated to the highest of all functions1 that of procreation4 ,recognize that1 conserved and controlled1 it becomes a source of energy to the individual4 ,cleanse the mind of all polluting images by substituting this purer thought2 then go to work to establish correct habits of living in dress1 diet1 exercise1 etc4 ,see to it that there are no such causes of pelvic congestions as prolapsed bowels1 caused by tight clothing or constipation2 keep the skin active2 and1 above all1 keep the mind healthfully occupied4 ,the victim of self-abuse has1 through the frequent repetition of the habit1 built up an undue amount of brain that is sensitive to local irritation of the sex-organs or to mental pictures of sex-pleasure4 ,she must now allow this part of the brain to become quiescent1 and she should go to work to build up other brain centers4 ,let her train her sight by close observation of form1 color1 size1 location4 ,let her cultivate her sense of hearing in the study of different qualities of sound1 tone1 pitch1 intensity1 duration1 timbre2 her sense of touch1 by learning to judge with closed eyes of different materials1 of quality of fiber1 of the different degrees of temperature1 of roughness or smoothness1 of density2 in fact1 let her endeavor to become alert1 observant1 along all the lines of sense-perception4 ,let her study nature1 leaf-forms1 cloud-shapes1 insects1 flowers1 birds1 bird-songs1 the causes of natural phenomena2 and1 above all1 let her keep out of the realm of the artificial1 the sentimental1 the emotional1 and1 holding firmly to the thought that creative energy is symbolized by desire and can be dignified and consecrated to noblest purposes1 she will find herself daily growing into a stronger1 more beautiful self-control4 ,,chapter ,,xx4 ,,be ,,good ,,to ,,yourself4 ,i witnessed the other day a parting between two men4 ,the elder1 as he took the younger by the hand1 said1 ,good-by1 my boy2 be good to yourself2 and the younger responded1 heartily1 ,oh1 there is no danger but ,i'll be that4 ,i wondered1 as ,i saw the laughing face1 so full of the indications of the love of pleasure1 if he really would be good to himself1 or if he would interpret it to mean to indulge himself in all kinds of sensuous gratification4 ,it is a great thing to be truly good to one's self1 and ,i would give the injunction with the highest ideal4 ,be good to your real self with that true goodness that sees the end from the beginning1 that realizes the tendency of certain forms of pleasure1 and that claims the privilege of being master of the senses1 and not their slave4 ,well1 you say1 rather deprecatingly1 you can't expect young people to act as staid and wise as you old folks4 ,we want some fun4 ,so you do1 and that is perfectly right4 ,you should want fun and have fun4 ,all ,i ask is that you shall try to understand what real1 true fun is4 ,i have seen young folks pull the chair from under some one for fun1 and the result was pain and perhaps permanent injury to the object of the joke4 ,i have known young men to imagine they were having fun when they went on a spree1 to get gloriously drunk1 as they phrased it4 ,you can see no fun in this4 ,you realize that it is a most serious tragedy1 with not an element of real fun in it1 involving1 as it does1 the loss of health1 the risking of life1 the possibility of crime1 the heart-break of friends1 and perhaps even death4 ,it is altogether a wrong idea of fun4 ,i have known girls in the secrecy of their rooms to smoke cigarettes for fun1 and in that ,i am sure that you see no amusement4 ,it was a lowering of the standard of womanhood2 it was tampering with a poison2 it was something to be ashamed of1 rather than something to call fun4 ,i have known young men and women to enter into flirtations for fun4 ,i knew a girl whose chief delight seemed to be in getting young men in love with her1 only to cast them aside when tired of their adoration4 ,she called this fun1 but it was cruelty4 ,in olden times men amused themselves by throwing ,christians to wild beasts and watching them while being torn to pieces4 ,this was their idea of fun1 and the flirt's idea of amusement seems to be of the same order4 ,she plays with the man as the cat with the mouse1 and experiences no pangs of conscience when1 torn and bleeding in heart1 she tosses him aside for a new victim4 ,there are other young people who would not enter into such serious flirtations1 and yet are unduly familiar with each other4 ,they mean nothing by their endearments and familiarities1 and neither will suffer any pangs when the pleasant intimacy is ended4 ,can we not call this innocent fun8 ,they have indulged in some unobserved hand-pressures1 or a few stolen kisses2 but neither believed the other to mean anything serious4 ,it was only fun2 what harm could there be in that8 ,many girls to-day are reasoning thus1 and many of these may pass through the experience without loss of reputation2 they may subsequently marry honorably1 and become respected and beloved mothers4 ,but ask any of these girls1 in her mature years1 when her own daughters are growing up around her1 if she wants them to pass through the same experiences4 ,i once knew a beautiful young woman who thought it was fun to have these familiar intimacies with young men1 because1 as she said1 she knew how far to go4 ,i saw her in her maturity1 with daughters of her own1 and heard her say that when she recalled her own girlish escapades1 even in the darkness of the night the blushes would rush over her from head to foot1 and in heartfelt agony she would say to herself1 ,oh1 ,i wonder if my girls will ever do so8 ,it was fun to her in her girlhood2 it was shame to her in her mature remembrance2 it was agony when she saw it possible to her own children4 ,true fun is fun in anticipation1 fun in realization1 fun in retrospection1 and fun in seeing it repeated by succeeding generations4 ,if it fails to be fun in any of these instances1 it fails to be genuine4 ,i like to see young people full of vivacity4 ,i like to hear their merry laughter1 to witness their innocent pranks2 but ,i do not like to see them laughing at the sufferings of others1 or amusing themselves with dangers of any kind4 ,above all1 ,i regret to see them playing with the fire of physical passion4 ,many a girl who to-day is lost to virtue had no idea that she was starting on this downward road4 ,she was only having a good time4 ,she was pretty1 attractive1 and admired4 ,young men flattered her with words1 and when they held her hand1 or put their arm around her1 she took it as another compliment to her charms4 ,she did not see that it was only selfishness1 only a desire to feel the thrills of physical pleasure which this contact with her person aroused4 ,she would have felt humiliated had she recognized this fact1 and it seems to me that girls should understand the feelings that prompt young men to take personal familiarities4 ,the young man might deny the fact to the girl1 but he understands it well enough as a fact1 and he loses a measure of respect for her because she is willing to permit his advances4 ,the girl no doubt imagines that these are sweet little secrets between herself and the young man1 when perhaps he is discussing her openly with his young men friends4 ,i have even heard such discussions on railway trains1 carried on in no very low tones1 between young men1 well dressed and with all the outward appearances of gentlemen1 and ,i have wondered how ,jennie and ,sadie and ,clara and ,nellie1 whose names ,i heard openly mentioned1 would have felt to have heard themselves described as a nice1 soft little thing to hug1 or she knows how to kiss4 ,do you imagine these young men would have thus spoken had they truly respected the girls8 ,they might say ,they are nice girls1 but would they say1 in their deeper consciousness1 ,they are true1 self-respecting1 womanly girls1 and ,i honor them8 ,but what is a girl to do8 asks one4 ,if she is prudish she won't get any attention4 ,she has to allow a certain innocent freedom1 or young men won't go with her4 ,do you really believe that1 dear girl8 ,let me tell you what young men have said to me4 ,said one1 ,o1 we have to be familiar with the girls4 ,they all expect it1 and would be offended if we were just friendly and manifested no familiarities4 ,do you suppose girls ever thought of the possibility of the young men saying that8 ,when they are pleading for permission to be familiar they do sometimes say1 ,why1 all the girls allow it1 but they also add1 so there can be no harm2 while among themselves they are laughing at the credulity of the girls1 or accusing them of making it necessary for the young men to take innocent liberties in order to have the good will of the girls4 ,a young man may assure you most emphatically that he respects you none the less1 although you allow him to hold your hand or kiss you at parting1 but he knows it is not true1 and he will admit it to others rather than to the girl herself4 ,truthful young men say1 ,of course1 we have the most respect for the girls who keep us at a distance4 ,but they won't pay us attention1 say the girls4 ,is that so8 ,i asked of a young man4 ,are you more earnest in pursuit of the girl who courts approaches1 or the girl who holds you at bay8 ,why6 responded he1 with emphasis1 the girls ought to know that a boy wants most that which is hardest to get2 but we are actually obliged to treat the girls with familiarity or they won't go with us4 ,and this young man seemed really surprised when ,i assured him that girls supposed they were obliged to accept caresses in order to have the attention of young men4 ,then this same young man spoke of something that ,i know to be too often true4 ,he said1 ,it is strange1 if the girls don't want these things1 that they act as they do1 for they actually invite familiarity4 ,in fact1 many times ,i would have been glad to be respectfully friendly1 but the girls did not seem satisfied1 and by many little ways and manners they indicated that they were ready to be caressed4 ,i think they mean to be good girls1 but they put an awful lot of temptation in a fellow's way4 ,no doubt these girls did not realize what they were doing1 but ,i believe every young woman should have so clear an understanding of human nature as to know that she is playing with a dangerous fire when she allows caresses and unbecoming familiarity4 ,she ought to know that1 while she may hold herself above criminal deeds1 if she permits fondlings and caresses she may be directly responsible for arousing a passion in the young man that may lead him to go out from her presence and seek the company of dissolute women1 and thus lose his honor and purity because a girl who called herself virtuous tempted him4 ,is she in truth more honorable than the outcast woman8 ,she has allowed familiarities in the matter of embraces and kisses1 and she may not know what thoughts have been inspired in the mind of the young man by her unguarded conduct4 ,she may feel indignant at the suggestion1 because she has meant no harm1 but in reality she should blush that her own familiar conduct has given him a tacit right to think of her with even greater freedom4 ,girls have a wonderful responsibility in regard even to the moral conduct of young men1 and the self-respecting girl will guard herself not only from the contamination of touch1 but from an undue freedom of thought4 ,do you say she cannot govern the thoughts of men8 ,i reply1 she can to a great extent4 ,by a dress that exposes her person to public gaze1 or even more seductively hides it under a film of suggestive lace1 she has given a direction to the thoughts of those who look at her4 ,she has declared that their eyes may touch her1 that their thoughts may be occupied with an inventory of her physical charms4 ,she has openly announced that she is willing to be appraised by eyes of men as a beautiful animal4 ,what wonder if their thoughts go further than her public declaration1 and that they may freely surmise the charms that still remain hidden8 ,when a girl1 by putting herself into graceful attitudes in tempting nearness to a young man1 casts coquettish glances1 she has done that which will give a turn to the thought which may prove provocative of deeds4 ,i am afraid of that girl1 said a young man who desired to live purely4 ,may be she does not mean it1 but her poses and glances make it almost impossible for me to keep my hands off of her4 ,i am obliged to leave her for fear that ,i shall kiss her when she looks so mischievously alluring4 ,the girl1 perhaps1 would have been flattered by the kiss and indignant at further liberties1 yet would have felt no compunctions had her victim been inflamed by a passion that he lacked the power to control1 prompting him to seek some other girl to be his prey4 ,you think men should have self-control4 ,so they should4 ,we will not lessen the blame of the young man1 but the girl who puts the temptation in his way1 even if she did not herself yield to it1 is not guiltless4 ,the conduct of a pure woman should be the safeguard and not the destruction of a man1 and she can be his protector1 even as he is hers4 ,i heard an eminent woman say that woman was man's moral protector1 and man woman's physical protector1 and ,i said that is only half true4 ,man is also woman's moral protector1 and woman is also man's physical protector4 ,she is acknowledged to be his physical tempter4 ,if she knows her power she can1 by her wise1 modest1 womanly demeanor1 make it impossible for him to feel an impure impulse in her presence4 ,ruskin says3 ,you cannot think that the buckling on of the knight's armor by his lady's hand was a mere caprice of romantic fashion4 ,it is the type of an eternal truth--that the soul's armor is never well set to the heart unless a woman's hand has braced it2 and it is only when she braces it loosely that the honor of manhood fails4 ,know you not those lovely lines--,i would they were learned by all youthful ladies of ,england-- ',ah wasteful woman6 she who may ,on her sweet self set her own price1 ,knowing he cannot choose but pay-- ,how has she cheapen'd ,paradise6 ,how given for nought her priceless gift1 ,how spoiled the bread and spill'd the wine1 ,which1 spent with due1 respective thrift1 ,had made brutes men1 and men divine6' ,,chapter ,,xxi4 ,,friendship ,,between ,,boys ,,and ,,girls4 ,you might like to know1 dear reader1 if ,i do not believe in some intermediate relation between that of the comrade and the lover--a more intimate relation than the one and less intimate than the other4 ,you ask1 ,cannot a young man and a young woman be real1 true friends8 ,let us talk a little about friendship and what it implies4 ,i should define a friend as one who believes in me1 who expects much of me1 who encourages me to do the best that is in me1 who will tell me of my faults1 who recognizes my virtues1 who trusts in my honor4 ,you are willing to accept that definition1 and you think it possible to be all that to each other without being lovers4 ,i believe it1 too1 but ,i would like to make some further statements before we have the discussion of this question4 ,i believe that a girl's first and best friends are her parents2 her wisest confidante1 her mother4 ,to these she may speak unreservedly of herself4 ,with these she may freely talk over family matters4 ,in a friendship with some outside the family it would be unwise to discuss family matters4 ,it might be an unkindness to other members of the family1 and in case of a break in the friendship the family secrets might be betrayed1 and to the detriment of the trusting friend4 ,i once read of such an affair1 where one girl had confided to another certain matters that reflected on the honor of her family1 and when the friendship was broken the secret was betrayed1 to the public shame of the girl who had been unwise in her confidences4 ,true honor would forbid the betrayal of a confidence even after the rupture of a friendship2 but all persons have not the highest ideal of honor4 ,if the girl is not discreet in her revelation of herself1 and her mother is her only confidante1 it will not be so serious a matter1 for the mother will never be tempted to reveal to others anything that would bring scorn or criticism upon her child4 ,nowhere1 in her girlish ignorance1 can the girl find as sincere sympathy as in the loving mother4 ,but all mothers are not sympathetic1 you say4 ,they are often nagging1 and use the confidences of the daughter to make her uncomfortable4 ,well1 if this be so1 you1 at least1 can learn the lesson1 and by your habits of thought fit yourself to be the wise1 loving1 companionable1 sympathetic confidante of your daughter1 for you will be anxious that she should have no friend so close as yourself4 ,however1 ,i believe that mothers should recognize the individuality of their daughters1 and win1 rather than command1 confidence4 ,it is difficult for us1 as mothers1 to realize that our daughter is just as much a separate individual as is our neighbor's daughter1 and that we have no right to thrust ourselves upon her1 no right to demand that she shall love us4 ,we have the right to sympathize1 to counsel1 to direct her conduct so long as she remains in our personal care1 but we should remember that she must be responsible1 that she is a soul and must live her own life1 learn her own lessons1 suffer her own experiences4 ,our deepest love can only enable us to help her to choose wisely1 to think truly1 to act judiciously4 ,so ,i would have the friendship of mother and daughter something very deep and true--something more than a petting and caressing1 an indulging or humoring4 ,i would be inclined to have less outward demonstration and more inner tenderness4 ,i believe that very often outward impression comes largely to take the place of true affection4 ,i see girls who kiss and fondle their mothers1 who never open to them their heart's deepest secrets4 ,fewer kisses and more confidence would satisfy more thoroughly the mother's heart4 ,i believe that1 even in the family1 a kiss should not become a conventionality4 ,it should have a meaning4 ,i would rather that my daughter should kiss me once a week1 with a spontaneous desire thus to express her love1 than that1 from custom1 she should kiss me morning1 noon1 and night4 ,there are sanitary reasons against kissing1 such as transmission of germs of disease2 but aside from this1 there are affectional reasons why kisses should be few1 and these few spontaneous rather than required4 ,we ought never to force our kisses upon children2 but1 recognizing their individuality1 leave them free to proffer or to refuse4 ,next to the friendship of parents should come that of brother and sister4 ,we almost think it a wonder when members of the same family seem really to love each other1 and yet family ties should be the strongest in the world4 ,why should there not be the sweetest intimacy between two sisters1 whose lives and interests are so closely united8 ,why should not the bond between mother and sister be indissoluble8 ,a young man and woman1 children of the same parents1 brought up in the same home1 ought to be the best of friends4 ,their friendship is without the danger of misunderstanding4 ,it can be free from the slight feeling of envy or jealousy that might arise between sisters4 ,it would seem that it could be the truest comradeship possible to two young people4 ,a sister should be to a brother not merely some one at hand to mend his gloves or make his neckties1 not simply some one to fondle and indulge1 but she should be one whom he would never scold or browbeat4 ,a brother should not be simply some one to run errands1 to call on for help in emergencies1 not some one to tease when the spirit of mischief prompts1 or to scold when things have gone wrong4 ,i would have the love of these two manifest itself in all true helpfulness1 but in a way that would draw out the noblest self-reliance in each4 ,it should manifest itself in courteous words1 in helpful deeds1 in glances of the eye1 in tones of the voice1 in heartfelt sympathies that stimulate to nobler deeds1 in every way that strengthens and uplifts2 and if caresses are few1 they will not be missed in the wealth of that truer manifestation which makes the recipient feel his nobility and worth4 ,a young lady once asked me if ,i believed in young people who were not related treating each other as brother and sister1 and ,i replied that would depend on how the brother and sister treated each other4 ,i have seen girls treat brothers in ways that other young men would not enjoy--finding fault1 nagging1 and snubbing generally4 ,i have seen young men browbeat their sisters1 tease them1 and be continually unkind4 ,i presume1 if such a young man should propose to be a brother to a girl1 he would not purpose to treat her in this way4 ,young people sometimes like to try to deceive themselves1 and they fancy that the subterfuge of calling each other brother and sister will be a warrant for the parting kiss or the tender endearment that they enjoy1 but which they feel proprieties will not allow4 ,the subterfuge is too transparent4 ,it deceives no one1 and it does not make right that which1 without it1 would be improper4 ,platonic friendships--that is1 friendships between men and women without the element of physical love--are rare2 rarer1 indeed1 than they should be4 ,they are difficult to maintain because of the temptation to begin in the indulgences of personal familiarities1 which tend to lead the friendship over into debatable ground4 ,men and women ought to be grand1 true friends1 inciting each other to the noblest achievements1 but it never can be through sentimentality4 ,a girl may think she is sisterly when she listens to the young man's cry for sympathy in some trouble1 and she holds his hand and smoothes his hair and comforts him after this tender fashion1 and he may go away feeling comforted1 even as a baby might be quieted by petting2 but his moral fiber has not been strengthened2 he has not been made to feel stronger to do and dare4 ,supposing she had listened with interest to his story1 and then1 without laying her hands upon him1 she had said1 ,you are a man1 a prince1 the son of a ,king4 ,you are strong to bear1 brave to do4 ,obstacles surmounted give broader outlooks4 ,burdens bravely borne bring strength4 ,i believe in you2 and then1 with a strong1 firm--,i had almost said manly--grasp of the hand1 she had sent him away1 he would go feeling stronger1 braver1 more self-reliant1 stimulated1 encouraged1 not merely soothed and quieted4 ,in this fashion a girl may treat a young man as a brother4 ,she may tell him his faults in all kindness4 ,she may listen to his dreams1 ambitions1 aspirations1 and encourage with approval1 incite by gentle sarcasm1 or enliven by kindly sportiveness2 but her person is her own1 and he should be made to feel that beyond these bounds he may not pass4 ,such friendship may endure vicissitude1 or separation1 and be through life a source of truest inspiration4 ,to be such a friend to a noble man is a worthy ambition4 ,it would prove the possession of more qualities of womanliness than merely to win his passionate love4 ,when the world comes to accept the highest ideals of life and believes that all relations of men and women are not of necessity founded on physical attraction1 then will such friendships be more possible1 and the earth can offer no more desirable future than that in which men and women1 knowing each other as immortal intelligences1 shall leave the vale of unsafe sentimentality and sensuous poison to dwell on heights of noble companionship4 ,,chapter ,,xxii4 ,,friendship ,,between ,,girls4 ,you think1 perhaps1 that ,i can find no fault with the friendship of girls with each other1 that that certainly is safe and pleasant4 ,i have said enough for you to understand that ,i believe in reserve even in girl friendships4 ,girls are apt at certain periods of their lives to be rather gushing creatures4 ,they form most sentimental attachments for each other4 ,they go about with their arms around each other1 they loll against each other1 and sit with clasped hands by the hour4 ,they fondle and kiss until beholders are fairly nauseated1 and in a few weeks1 perhaps1 they do not speak as they pass each other1 and their caresses are lavished on others4 ,such friendships are not only silly1 they are even dangerous4 ,they are a weakening of moral fiber1 a waste of mawkish sentimentality4 ,they may be even worse4 ,such friendship may degenerate even into a species of self-abuse that is most deplorable4 ,when girls are so sentimentally fond of each other that they are like silly lovers when together1 and weep over each other's absence in uncontrollable agony1 the conditions are serious enough for the consultation of a physician4 ,it is an abnormal state of affairs1 and if probed thoroughly might be found to be a sort of perversion1 a sex mania1 needing immediate and perhaps severe measures4 ,i wish the friendships of girls were less sentimental1 were more manly4 ,two young men who are friends do not lop on each other1 and kiss and gush4 ,they trust each other1 they talk freely together1 they would stand by each other in any trouble or emergency1 but their expressions of endearment are not more than the cordial handgrasp and the unsentimental appellation1 ,dear old chap4 ,i admire these friendships in young men4 ,they seem to mean so much1 and yet to exact so little4 ,they believe in each other's love1 but do not demand to be told of it every minute4 ,it is the highest type of friendship that can believe in the friend under all circumstances4 ,i have a friend from whom ,i may not hear once a year1 yet ,i know just where she stands in her relation to me1 and ,i would have no fear of finding her cold or unresponsive should ,i at any time call on her for a friendly service4 ,i may never see her1 or even hear from her again in life1 and we may live long years yet on the earth1 but ,i would as soon think of doubting the return of to-morrow's sun as to doubt her love4 ,there is no need of words1 of caresses1 even of deeds4 ,we are both busy women4 ,our daily cares absorb us1 yet we know that we are friends1 and in the great hereafter we hope to find a place where we may pause and look into each other's faces and enjoy an interchange of thought4 ,but now other interests than self-seeking claim us4 ,we work on1 cheered by the thought that time cannot alienate us1 for true love is eternal4 ,the charm of a true friendship is that it does not make demands4 ,i had a school friend who thought that because she was my friend ,i must tell her all my affairs4 ,she was offended if ,i received a letter that ,i did not read to her1 or if ,i went out to spend the evening without first informing her4 ,her friendship became a tax because it demanded so much4 ,and1 after all1 was it true friendship8 ,was it not love of self1 rather than of me8 ,people sometimes imagine that1 because they crave love1 they are affectionate and unselfish4 ,is it true8 ,it is rather natural to want to be loved1 but it is selfish1 and the feeling indulged in to any extent is weakening4 ,to want to be loved means usually to want some one to be a protector1 a giver of pleasure1 a supplier of wants4 ,to desire to love is nobler1 for to love is to give4 ,god so loved the world that he gave4 ,christ loved us and gave--gave ,himself for us4 ,to love truly1 grandly1 nobly1 is to grow strong through giving4 ,not giving that which we should not give1 not unwisely giving of time that belongs to our own best good1 not giving of strength that should be dedicated to some better purpose1 not a yielding of principle1 nor purity1 nor honor1 but the true giving of that which enriches both giver and recipient1 which ennobles1 uplifts1 encourages and strengthens1 and leaves no sorrow in its wake4 ,the truest giving is sometimes a refusal to yield to demands that are unworthy4 ,love wisely1 my daughter1 and you will give wisely4 ,,chapter ,,xxiii4 ,,exercises4 ,as many girls are affected by spinal curvature1 round shoulders1 weak back or ankles1 prolapsed stomach1 bowels1 or pelvic organs1 constipation and poor general circulation1 it seems well to give a few exercises that shall be corrective of these defects1 premising that each exercise should be begun gradually and easily1 increasing frequency and force1 as strength is gained1 say five times a day the first week1 eight times a day the second week1 and so on4 ,never exercise in tight clothing or in a corset1 and do not exercise to exhaustion4 ,to ,overcome ,slight ,lateral ,curvature4 #a4 ,if it is the right shoulder that is depressed1 place the hands on hips or behind neck1 and bend slowly to the left4 ,reverse this movement if the left is the lower shoulder4 #b4 ,with arms raised above the head1 bend the body slowly forward and try to touch the floor without bending the knees1 then rise slowly to an erect position4 ,to ,overcome ,round ,shoulders4 ,do not fold the arms in front4 ,any motion that brings hands together behind the back is good4 ,draw the elbows quickly backward4 ,carry a weight in each hand1 holding the weight behind you and out from the body4 ,hold the body in the correct attitude 7see page #acb71 head balanced on spine1 chest elevated1 posterior part of body thrown out1 weight on balls of feet1 not on heels4 ,exercises that strengthen the waist muscles will help to maintain the erect position1 and so tend to overcome round shoulders4 ,to ,strengthen ,weak ,back4 #a4 ,hold a light weight in each hand4 ,place the weights on the floor in front of you4 ,stand with feet eight inches apart1 and take three slow1 deep breaths4 ,stoop over and take the weights in the hands and gradually straighten up till the hands hang easily at the sides4 ,bend slowly forward1 and again place the weights on the floor4 ,repeat five times4 #b4 ,clasp the hands back of the neck and bend slowly forward until the head is on a level with the waist4 ,count ten1 then straighten up to erect position4 ,repeat4 #c4 ,bend the body backward1 forward and sidewise at the waist4 #d4 ,put your right arm over your head till it touches your left ear4 ,hold the chin high4 ,breathe slowly and deeply while you walk around the room4 ,repeat with other arm4 ,increase the length of your walk gradually4 #e4 ,playing tennis is good exercise for the sides of the waist4 #f4 ,carry a weight first on one shoulder1 then on the other4 #g4 ,run on the toes4 #h4 ,hop on one foot4 ,to ,strengthen and ,develop the ,chest4 #a4 ,maintain an erect attitude4 #b4 ,raise and lower the arm1 forward1 upward1 backward1 without bending the elbows4 #c4 ,lie on the floor1 stretch the arms over the head till the hands touch the floor4 ,take a deep breath and hold it2 now bring the arms over the head as high as you can reach1 and do not bend the elbows4 ,rest and repeat three times4 #d4 ,hold chin as high as possible4 ,raise the arms at the side as high as you can4 ,breathe deeply and hold the air in the lungs4 ,now1 without letting any air out and without bending the elbows1 bring your hands down steadily to your sides4 ,repeat4 ,keep chin well up4 ,to ,strengthen ,abdominal ,muscles4 #a4 ,stand with chin high4 #b4 ,breathe slowly and deeply4 #c4 ,raise the right knee till the right foot is about twelve inches from the floor4 #d4 ,give a little spring with the left foot1 raise it swiftly from the floor1 and at the same time put the right toe and sole 7not heel7 to the floor4 #e4 ,spring on right foot and put left down4 ,repeat five times4 #f4 ,fold arms behind4 ,hold chin up4 ,breathe slowly and very deeply4 ,do not bend the knees4 ,hold your left foot far out in front of you while you count five4 #g4 ,lower it and raise right foot in same way4 ,repeat four times4 ,keep the shoulders well back and down while doing this exercise4 ,point the toes down and out4 #h4 ,lie on your back4 ,keep feet down and rise to a sitting position4 ,drop slowly back1 and repeat three times4 #i4 ,run1 lifting your feet high1 like a spirited horse4 #aj4 ,stand with chin high1 arms akimbo4 ,breathe slowly and deeply4 ,advance left foot eight inches in front of right4 ,lean head slowly as far back as possible4 ,hold it while you count five4 ,straighten1 and repeat five times4 #aa4 ,place the hands on the wall in front of you as high as you can reach and about two feet apart1 with the elbows straight4 ,have chin up till you face the ceiling1 and keep it so4 ,take a very deep breath and hold it4 ,now bend your elbows and let the body go slowly forward till the chest touches the wall1 keeping the body and legs stiff all the time4 ,push back till straight again4 ,do not take heels off the floor1 nor hands off the wall1 nor eyes off the ceiling right overhead4 ,repeat five times4 #ab4 ,lie on the floor1 stretch the arms over the head till the hands touch the floor4 ,clinch the fists4 ,take a deep breath and hold it4 ,now raise the arms slowly1 keeping the fists clinched1 and bring them down at the sides1 raising the head from the floor at same time4 ,raise the arms and stretch them on the floor over the head at same time1 letting the head sink back to the floor1 and breathe out slowly4 ,to ,facilitate the ,return of ,displaced ,organs to ,their ,normal ,position4 #a4 ,lie on your back upon a smooth1 hard surface4 ,draw the feet up as close to the body as possible4 ,now lift the lower part of the body until it is wholly supported by the feet and shoulders4 ,hold it in this position as long as possible without fatigue4 ,lower slowly to original position4 ,rest a few minutes4 ,repeat4 ,continue for twenty or thirty minutes1 according to strength4 #b4 ,lie with face downward4 ,raise the hips as high as possible1 supporting the body on the toes and elbows4 #c4 ,slip from the bed head first and face downwards until the head rests on the floor and the legs and feet remain upon the bed4 ,let the arms to the elbows rest on the floor4 ,when weary of this attitude slip to the floor1 turn on the back1 and apply the bandage4 ,,chapter ,,xxiv4 ,,recreations4 ,walking4 ,it is well to bear constantly in mind that all exercise1 even walking on level ground1 is objectionable in clothing that compresses the body2 and as exercise is the law of the development of muscle1 the only safe thing to do is so to dress that every muscle has free and unrestrained motion4 ,walking to be beneficial should be out of doors1 with some pleasant motive1 and taken with some degree of energy4 ,the length of the walk should be proportional to the strength of the girl--short at first1 and increasing as strength increases4 ,the erect attitude should be maintained1 and the walking not prolonged to exhaustion4 ,walking slowly home from school1 laden with books and intent on conversation with others1 will not fulfill the demands of walking for exercise4 ,it makes no demand on breathing power1 does not develop depth of chest or strength of limb4 ,running4 ,this is an admirable exercise if the dress be suitable4 ,long skirts are an impediment4 ,running on the toes develops the calf of the leg4 ,the swift motion causes deep breathing1 which expands the chest4 ,if violent or long-continued1 it may make too urgent a demand on the heart and lungs1 and so be detrimental4 ,the counsel of a physician is safest for those whose heart and lungs are weak4 ,riding4 ,horseback riding is a vigorous exercise1 which would be especially beneficial were it not for the cramped position women are forced by custom to assume4 ,it cannot be recommended to those who have a tendency to lateral curvature of the spine or weak back1 or prolapsed internal organs4 ,such girls should by proper care be put into a better physical condition before attempting to ride4 ,harvey advises learning to ride on either side of the horse1 so as to bring opposite sets of muscles into play1 and counteract the curvature which physicians who have the opportunity to observe say is produced by riding4 ,that being true1 why not adopt the sensible fashion of riding on both sides of the horse at once1 as men do8 ,i saw a young lady so mounted the other day1 and the sight was far more agreeable than the twisted attitude compelled by the side-saddle4 ,medical men also assert that riding tends to produce round shoulders1 and as the greatest muscular strain comes on the back1 it is not helpful to weak backs4 ,skating4 ,skating is a fine exercise4 ,it quickens the circulation and the respiration1 aids digestion1 exercises a great number of muscles1 both of limbs and trunk of body1 strengthens the ankles1 and incidentally the nerves4 ,evils are to be found in wrong habits of dressing1 the tendency to overdo through the fascination of the sport1 the danger of taking cold by carelessly sitting down to rest when heated1 or driving home after being warmed up by the severe exertion4 ,a girl of good judgment1 properly clothed1 ought to be benefited by this charming out-door sport4 ,it should be begun very gradually at the opening of the skating season1 and not undertaken if the internal organs are prolapsed4 ,rowing4 ,rowing is an exercise that develops the upper back and back of shoulders1 and therefore needs to be counteracted by exercise that calls into play the muscles of the front of the chest4 ,cycling4 ,the dangers of cycling arise principally from lack of judgment4 ,the temptation to overdo is very great1 and injury is done in attempts to ride longer1 farther and faster than the strength will safely allow4 ,the whole dress should be so arranged as to give perfect freedom of movement1 the skirt short enough to clear the dangerous part of the mechanism1 the saddle adjusted to the individual both in its make and height1 and the girl be taught to sit properly and to adjust her weight so that the pressure will not be undue upon the perineum4 ,rectal and other local irritations are produced by the pressure of the whole weight resting on the saddle4 ,the position should not be absolutely erect1 but leaning slightly forward1 so as to allow the weight to be distributed between the handle-bars1 the pedal1 and the saddle4 ,this slightly inclined attitude also maintains the proper and harmonious relation of the internal organs1 so that the bowels do not crowd down on the pelvic organs4 ,if the girl is taught to sit on the machine properly1 to distribute her weight1 to sit on the large gluteal muscles1 and not on the perineum1 to use judgment in the amount of exercise taken at a time1 there is no reason why a girl in a normal condition of health should not be benefited4 ,there may be particular reasons why some girls should not undertake to ride1 and these can be determined by the physician4 ,tennis4 ,this is a game that demands great activity1 consequently there is especial need of entire freedom of movement4 ,all constrictions of clothing are especially injurious4 ,it is claimed by some that1 being essentially a one-sided exercise1 there is a possibility1 if unwisely indulged in1 that it may produce injurious results1 especially to the spine4 ,swimming4 ,swimming is not only a valuable exercise1 but it really conduces to the safety of life in these days of constant boat travel1 and there are no adequate reasons why girls should not learn4 ,the younger they begin1 the more readily will they become expert4 ,it is not wise to indulge in this exercise while menstruating1 nor immediately after eating4 ,skipping4 ,there is some prejudice against this form of exercise from the fact that it can be overdone1 and also from the popular idea that it is injurious to girls to jump4 ,if they are properly dressed1 and their muscles are gradually developed1 and they use good common sense as to amount1 there are practically no dangers in skipping4 ,it is admirably adapted to strengthen a great variety of muscles1 as those of the legs1 back1 abdomen1 and neck4 ,it strengthens the knees and the arches of the feet1 thereby tending to overcome flat foot4 ,it strengthens weak backs1 increases circulation and respiration and promotes digestion1 and1 if practised out of doors1 is one of the most perfect forms of exercise4 ,of course the judgment dictates that when the pelvic organs are heavy with the menstrual congestion it would not be advisable4 ,dancing4 ,dancing1 in itself considered1 is a pleasant and beneficial exercise4 ,it develops grace and muscular strength1 increases circulation and respiration1 and is cheering because of rhythm4 ,one wishes that it could be unqualifiedly commended4 ,but when we take into account the late hours1 the heated rooms1 the promiscuous company1 the late unwholesome suppers1 the improper dress1 the dangers of taking cold1 the immodest freedom of the round dance1 and the not infrequent evils resulting therefrom1 it would seem unwise to commend an exercise so surrounded by objectionable concomitants4 ,it is observed that young church members who become interested in the dance soon lose all their interest in church work4 ,if dancing could be conducted in the daytime1 out of doors1 among well-known home friends and companions1 in proper dress1 and with no round dances1 there would be much to commend1 and little to condemn4 ,card-playing4 ,i can find little to say in favor of this form of amusement4 ,it contains no exercise for the body4 ,it continues the cramped attitudes to which most people are condemned during the day4 ,it certainly contributes nothing to the higher forms of enjoyment4 ,it stimulates emulations1 which ,st4 ,paul enumerates among things to be avoided2 it is the accompaniment of gambling and low society2 and1 while we must admit that a pack of cards in itself is not evil1 yet it can be and often is made most detrimental to the best interests of morality and righteousness4 ,the young woman who respects her own intellectual and moral powers will see little charm in manipulating cards in a way to gain a momentary success over another and perhaps arousing unkind feelings1 it may be even passions1 that may culminate in bloodshed4 ,theatre-going4 ,it is natural that we should enjoy pictorial representation of human life with living actors and audible words2 and1 understanding this1 many good people have had the hope that the stage might be purified and made a teacher of morals4 ,certainly valuable lessons of life might be most strongly presented in this concrete form1 and thus appeal with wonderful power to the young and inexperienced4 ,but that it might be so used does not insure that it will be1 and observation shows us that it is not4 ,the modern play concerns itself principally with a delineation of those phases of life which we condemn when they become reality1 and the teaching power of the stage becomes a lesson in wrongdoing which to the young and inexperienced is potent in its suggestiveness4 ,the costumes of actresses are often immodest1 and many of these women are immoral in character4 ,it would not be just to condemn all actors with the sweeping assertion of immorality1 but all will admit that the temptations are great1 and that great moral force is needed to resist the influences that lead towards wrong4 ,that many of our great actors will not permit their children to become actors1 or1 in some cases1 even to enter the theatre as a witness of its performances1 speaks strongly on the matter4 ,in the consideration of this subject the girl may safely decide that she will not be a permanent loser if she is not a frequenter of the theatre4 ,it is safer to keep the mind pure and untainted from all pictures of sin1 more especially if they are made attractive by the glamour of jewels and silken attire1 of music1 dancing1 and lifelike portrayal4 ,,part ,,iii4 ,,love2 ,,heredity2 ,,engagements4 ,,chapter ,,xxv4 ,,love4 ,in our study we have first learned of general and then of special physiology1 so1 in continuing the same study in mental and moral fields1 we first learn of the general and then of our special relation to others4 ,we cultivate body1 mind and spirit because it is our duty to develop ourselves for our own interests2 but it is also our duty to cultivate all our powers because of our responsibility in regard to others4 ,this responsibility ,i will include in the one word1 love4 ,what is love8 ,the idea of love occupies much of the thought of old and young1 and in different persons it will have very different meanings4 ,to one it means merely pleasurable sensations aroused by either the thought of a person1 or by the actual presence of that person4 ,to another it means an opportunity to sacrifice inclination and pleasure in order to promote the happiness or welfare of a certain person4 ,much that passes in the world as love is principally love of self4 ,the man loves the woman because she satisfies his sense of beauty2 her presence causes thrills and ecstasies2 she contributes to his happiness and comfort4 ,that is1 he loves himself through her4 ,the woman loves the man because he protects her1 he surrounds her with luxury1 his presence brings thrills and ecstasies to her4 ,she loves herself through him4 ,is not this but the essence of selfishness8 ,in another case the man loves the woman so tenderly that he cannot do enough to prove his devotion4 ,if her welfare demands his absence1 he gladly foregoes the pleasure of her society4 ,if her comfort requires his unremitting toil1 he gives his days1 and even his nights1 to the task of labor for her4 ,his only anxiety is to know her wants and to supply them4 ,he effaces himself and his wishes to serve her4 ,he would die to secure her good4 ,he gives1 and asks nothing4 ,or1 in the same way1 the woman loves the man so that her whole thought is not what she can obtain from him1 but what she can give him4 ,true love desires only to give4 ,self-love strives only to secure4 ,emerson says1 ,all the world loves a lover1 and conversely we may say a true lover loves all the world4 ,the affection kindled in the heart by one worthy individual goes out in a kindlier feeling for all the world4 ,a poet once said that the world was brighter and all humanity dearer because he loved truly one worthy woman4 ,he was more gentle with little children2 the very beggar on the street corner seemed to be a brother in distress4 ,because the woman he loved had given him her heart1 he wanted to give something to every one he met4 ,this is the spirit of true love1 to go out in blessings towards the beloved object1 and so on towards every created thing4 ,i was once asked if ,i believed in love at first sight4 ,how can love spring up in a minute8 ,there may be admiration of beauty1 there may be appreciation of intellectual qualities1 there may be a recognition of magnetic personal attraction1 but none of these is love4 ,love1 to be worthy the name1 must be a superstructure built upon a firm foundation of acquaintance with each other's true qualities4 ,love is not a balloon1 in which two young people may go sailing among the clouds1 away from all regions of every-day life4 ,those who try it with that idea find the cloud-world cold and uncomfortable1 and not at all the rosy1 gold-tinted region it looked at a distance4 ,love is rather like a building with foundations set into the earth--foundations solid1 firmly laid and durable4 ,how can people love when they do not know each other8 ,acquaintance first1 then friendship1 comradeship2 then1 if the sentiment grows1 love4 ,but how are young people to get really acquainted8 ,they meet under unreal conditions4 ,they see each other in society1 in ,sunday dress and with ,sunday manners4 ,they doubtless do not mean to deceive each other1 but there is little to draw out the real self4 ,there is nothing to disturb or irritate1 nothing to prove the honesty1 the neatness1 the industry1 the persistence1 the business ability2 nothing to disclose the true ideas in matters of serious import1 of health1 religion1 duties of husbands and wives1 the government of the home2 and too often the intimacy of marriage discloses many personal peculiarities of temper1 habits and manners that1 if seen in time1 would have prevented marriage4 ,the trouble does not originate with young people themselves1 but with older people2 but as the young people of to-day will be the older people of the future1 it would be well for them to realize what the trouble is4 ,the fact is1 that in the present conditions of society the association of young people is unnatural4 ,from earliest childhood boys and girls are taught to think of each other only in sentimental ways4 ,the little boys and girls in school are playing at lovering1 and their conversation is often more about beaus and sweethearts than about the plays of childhood1 which alone should occupy their thoughts4 ,you remember that little miss of ten who asked you1 when you were sixteen1 who was your beau4 ,you recall her look of surprise when you replied that you had none1 and her exclamation1 ,have no beau6 ,why1 how do you get along without one8 ,what made such a mere child imagine a beau to be an essential agent of a girl's life8 ,because she had been taught by the jests and suggestions of her elders that every boy was a possible lover1 and1 young as she was1 that thought was woven into her very life4 ,it is pitiable to see how early the mind of the child is tainted by sentimentality1 by the unwise suggestions of older friends4 ,i remember hearing of a child of six who was talking of getting married4 ,some one said1 ,you are too little to think of getting married1 and the child replied1 ,why1 ,i have thought of it since ,i was two years old4 ,and doubtless she had1 because it had been continually impressed on her mind by the conversation of parents and friends1 and the direction they had given her thought in regard to her relation to everything masculine4 ,parents are often very unwilling to teach their daughters the facts of sex1 and yet quite willing to emphasize the consciousness of sex by intimating the possibility of flirtations1 love affairs1 etc4 ,and this false1 pernicious idea of the relation of men and women is too often called love4 ,the central idea of romances is this passionate attraction of the sexes4 ,the plot gathers in intensity around the lovers1 and culminates in their marriage1 after which life is presumed to move on without a jar1 and silly girls and impulsive boys imagine that the sweet pain that accompanies the touch of hands or the glance of the eyes is love1 and is a sufficient guarantee for the forming of a life partnership4 ,let us face this question fairly4 ,what is love8 ,of what is it made8 ,can you judge with any certainty of its lasting qualities8 ,how can you know the true from the false8 ,unfortunately we have but the one word1 love1 to designate many phases of kindly regard4 ,the mother loves her child1 the child loves the mother1 yet love differs much in these two instances4 ,the one is protecting1 anxious1 self-sacrificing1 unstinted care1 unqualified devotion2 the other is sweet dependence1 unquestioning acceptance1 asking all and giving little4 ,the love of brother and sister differs from that of brother for brother1 or sister for sister4 ,the love of man for woman differs from all other emotions of love4 ,it contains elements not found in other forms4 ,it may have the same quality of giving or accepting1 of protecting or yielding1 but with all this there is an added quality that is not found in any other relation of life1 a quality that rises to the intensity of a passion1 and which1 if thwarted or distorted1 may become murderous or lead to insanity4 ,this overwhelming1 domineering sway of feeling inheres in the fact of sex4 ,it is the expression of the whole nature1 through the physical2 it is the vital creative force endeavoring to reach a tangible result4 ,holy in its inception1 it can be degraded to the vilest uses4 ,forming the distinctive feature of love between the sexes1 it is too often imagined to be the all1 and a strong physical attraction without the basic friendship1 which can only come through acquaintance1 is not infrequently supposed to be worthy of the name of love1 and found1 alas6 to be the most unsubstantial of chimeras4 ,love1 to be worthy of the name1 must rest1 not on the fact of admiration for beauty1 not on the physical attraction manifested in sweet electric thrills4 ,love should include intellectual congeniality and spiritual sympathy1 as well as physical attraction4 ,lacking any one of these three ingredients1 the interest of two people in each other should not be called love4 ,in order that it may be determined whether there is the true basis of love1 there should be opportunity for unsentimental acquaintance4 ,if we could free the minds of young people from the romantic idea1 and allow them to associate as intelligent beings1 and so form acquaintance on the basis of comradeship1 we should make things safer for them4 ,but if the older people do not know how to secure this desirable state of affairs1 the young people themselves might secure it if they understood its desirability4 ,you1 as a young woman1 can have much influence in the right directions1 supposing that you drop from your mind the idea of sentimental relations with young men and meet them on the ground of a friendly comradeship4 ,don't indulge in tte--ttes1 or in lackadaisical glances of the eye4 ,don't permit personal familiarities1 hand pressures1 or caresses4 ,don't simper1 and put on the airs which mean1 though the girl may not understand it1 an effort to arouse the admiration and the physical feeling of love4 ,refuse to be flattered1 to be played with1 to be treated as a female1 but insist on being treated as a woman with intelligence1 with a capacity to understand reasonable things4 ,manifest an interest in the movements of the world1 of politics1 literature1 art1 religion1 athletics4 ,talk of the things that interest the young man as a citizen of the world1 and not merely of those things which appeal to him as a male4 ,be frank1 be lively1 be witty1 be wise1 but do not be sentimental4 ,when a young man calls1 don't let him get the idea that you have to be secluded in a room apart from the rest of the family4 ,you will be better able to judge of him if you see him with your brothers1 if you note his manner towards your mother1 if you hear him converse with your father1 if you mark his conduct towards the younger children4 ,he will talk sense1 if he can1 when he meets your family1 while in a tte--tte conversation with yourself he may be able to hide his lack of wisdom under the glamour of sweet nothings and soft nonsense4 ,then be yourself when he comes4 ,let him see you in your home life1 at your domestic duties1 sewing1 helping mother1 reading to father1 caring for the little ones4 ,be an honest1 free-hearted1 companionable girl1 and put sentimentality out of mind4 ,you can have many such friends1 and by and by1 out of these you will probably find one whom you admire more and more as time goes on4 ,you hear his sentiments always expressed in favor of truth and probity4 ,you come to know something of his business principles1 you see his courtesy to old and young1 you learn of his home1 his family1 his social position1 and out of this intimate knowledge there springs the attachment1 blended with deep respect1 which assures you that he is worthy of your heart and hand1 and indeed of your whole life4 ,little by little the comradeship has grown more intimate4 ,you have not been sentimental4 ,you have treated each other with respect1 you have maintained your self-respect1 you have held a tight rein over your fancies and emotions1 but now you are convinced that you may allow them to have sway4 ,you begin to acknowledge to yourself that you love4 ,and he1 too1 begins to manifest a deeper interest in you4 ,you see this with a certain pride in the fact that he is not self-deceived ,he knows you1 has seen you in your daily life1 has sounded the depth of your intellect1 knows of your religious beliefs1 and in all he has found you coming up to his ideals4 ,his eye meets yours with a new tenderness in its glance that touches you1 because you know it is not an earthly fire of passion that glows therein4 ,it is you1 the real1 immortal you1 that he seeks2 not merely the pleasures of sense through you2 and feeling the response in your own heart1 your glance kindles with the same divine fire1 and your true selves have spoken to each other4 ,you have gradually grown into the knowledge of love4 ,you have not fallen in love4 ,and yet there have been no words1 and in maiden shyness you await his speech4 ,your womanly reserve has won his respect1 and he makes no attempts to win privileges of endearments before he confesses his love1 but frankly and manfully pleads his suit and wins4 ,oh1 my dear child1 this has been no matter for jesting2 it has been serious1 and we who have watched this dawning love have realized that the great drama of life1 so full of tragic possibilities1 is being here enacted4 ,we do not laugh1 nor jest1 but with the tenderest prayers we welcome you into the possibilities of ,god's divinest gift of human love4 ,,chapter ,,xxvi4 ,,responsibility ,,in ,,marriage4 ,you are beginning to feel a peculiar interest in one young man more than in any other4 ,you think of him in his absence2 you welcome his coming2 his eyes seem to caress you2 the clasp of his hand thrills you2 you begin to think that you have passed from the domain of friendship into that of love4 ,before you really make that admission1 let us reason together4 ,let us take a fair look at matters1 and see whether it is wiser to pass the border line1 or to remain only friends4 ,who is this young man8 ,you tell me his name1 but that means nothing4 ,who is he8 ,what is he in himself8 ,what are his talents1 capacities1 habits1 inherited tendencies8 ,who is his father1 his mother8 ,what is their worth8 ,i do not mean in money1 but in themselves8 ,what ancestral diseases or defects may he transmit to his posterity1 which will be your posterity if he becomes your husband8 ,are the family tendencies such that you would be willing to see them repeated in your children8 ,there is no indelicacy in asking yourself these questions1 nor in making the investigations which will enable you to answer them satisfactorily4 ,the woman who marries1 marries not only into her husband's family1 she also marries his family2 she is to become one of it1 to live with it in closer and closer companionship as her children1 bearing the family temperament1 disposition and tendencies1 gather one by one around her hearth4 ,is the family one of the type that she will desire to associate with intimately all the days of her life8 ,you may feel that it does not matter if you do not love your husband's mother1 or admire his sisters2 no matter if you do not have respect for his father1 you will live so far away from them that it will not be oftener than once in several years that you will be obliged to meet them4 ,it might even happen that you would never see them1 and yet it be a very serious matter that they were not respectable or lovable people1 for they constitute one-half of the ancestry of your children4 ,their most undesirable characteristics may1 perchance1 be the endowment of your sons and daughters1 and your heart ache1 or even break1 over the habits1 or1 it may be1 criminality1 which may disgrace your home through the paternal inheritance that you chose for them4 ,viewed in this light1 marriage becomes a most serious matter4 ,it is unfortunate that girls generally have the idea that it is not modest to think of marriage further than the ceremony4 ,of the responsibilities and duties they are not only ignorant1 but think it ladylike to remain uninformed until experience teaches them1 and that teaching is often accompanied by heart-breaking sorrow4 ,if you should make inquiry you would discover that a large proportion of mothers have buried their firstborn children1 and should you ask them why1 they would in all probability say1 almost without exception1 that it was because they did not know how to give them a dower of health1 or how to care for their physical needs4 ,again1 investigation would show you that children go astray1 become wild1 dissipated1 or even criminal1 because parents have not known how to train them1 how to keep their confidence1 how wisely to guide them in ways of righteousness4 ,we all believe it very important that mothers should know how to direct and govern their children1 and yet we do not train the future mothers for this important office4 ,we teach girls how to sew or cook1 how to embroider and play the piano4 ,we do not expect them to know1 without instruction1 how to mingle the ingredients for a cake or pudding1 but we imagine that they will know by intuition how to secure the best results in the mingling of heterogeneous compounds in the formation of the characteristics of a human being4 ,when we speak of the mother's privilege1 we think of the actual mother1 whose privilege is to care for and guide her real children4 ,but the mother's privilege in fact begins in her own childhood1 when by her habits of life and thought she is deciding her own character1 and at the same time creating1 in great degree1 the talents and tendencies of her possible children4 ,it is her privilege to secure a measure of physical vigor for her descendants by her care of her own health in her very girlhood4 ,she can endow them with mental power by not frittering away her own powers of mind in foolish reading or careless methods of study4 ,by her own self-respecting conduct she helps to give them the reverence for self which will insure their acting wisely4 ,all this is the mother's privilege2 and still one more great privilege is hers1 and that is to choose one-half the ancestry of her descendants4 ,she cannot choose their ancestry that comes to them through herself2 that is a fixed fact4 ,her parents must of necessity be her children's grandparents4 ,her family characteristics are also their inheritance4 ,the only thing she can do in regard to their inheritance through her is to modify the objectionable traits1 and to cultivate the good traits herself1 so that family faults may in her be weakened and the probability of transmission lessened1 and the family virtues be strengthened and their probable transmission intensified4 ,but she has the power to decide what shall be the paternal ancestry of her household2 and if she is duly impressed with the responsibility of this power1 she will not allow herself to fall in love and marry a man of whose family she knows nothing1 or knows facts that do not promise well for posterity4 ,,chapter ,,xxvii4 ,,the ,,law ,,of ,,heredity4 ,i once heard of a man who on his death-bed made a singular will4 ,he had no houses or lands to bequeath his children1 but he had observed that they had inherited much from him1 and so he made a formal bequest to them of that which they already possessed4 ,he wrote3 ,i bequeath to my son ,john my big bony frame and the slouching gait ,i acquired by carelessness1 also my inherited tendency to consumption4 ,to my daughter ,mary ,i bequeath my sallow complexion and torpid liver1 which are the result of my gross living2 also my melancholy disposition and tendency to look on the dark side of life4 ,to my son ,samuel ,i give my love for alcoholic liquors and my irritable disposition2 to my daughter ,jane my coarseness of thought and my unwillingness to be restrained in my desires1 and also my tendency to commit suicide4 ,a very strange will1 said everybody1 and yet it was a will that was probated long before the testator's death4 ,that it gave perfect satisfaction ,i will not assert1 but it was never contested and paid no fees to lawyers4 ,just such wills are being made daily by the lives and conduct of young people1 though they are not put into writing4 ,some time in the future1 however1 they will be written into living epistles1 known and read of all men4 ,other wills are being made daily that through sober1 virtuous1 youthful lives will bequeath to posterity dowers of health1 strength1 purity and power4 ,this being true1 it seems only a part of prudent foresight to study in youth the law that governs the transmission of personal characteristics to the future denizens of life's great city4 ,this law is known as ,heredity1 and its first written record is in the first chapter of ,genesis1 where it is written that ,every plant and animal shall bring forth after its kind4 ,we are so accustomed to seeing the results of this law that we give it little or no thought4 ,we see that grass springs up each year on our lawns and meadows4 ,we know that if we put the seeds of a certain flower in the ground1 that kind of flower will always spring up1 never another kind4 ,the farmer is not anxious1 after he sows wheat1 for fear that the crop will be rye or barley4 ,we expect that the young of cats will be kittens1 of geese will be goslings1 of men will be human children1 and we are never disappointed4 ,the law holds good under all circumstances4 ,we see1 too1 that there are certain race characteristics that maintain4 ,the ,mongolian race has peculiar high cheek-bones1 sallow complexions and eyes set in bias1 and we recognize the ,japanese or ,chinese at once1 even though dressed in the garb of our country4 ,so1 too1 we recognize the ,african or the ,caucasian by certain marked characteristics4 ,this transmission of racial traits we call race heredity4 ,then each race has its own traits1 physical or mental1 which we recognize as national1 and so speak of them4 ,we always mention thrift as an attribute of the ,teutonic nations2 the ,irishman we characterize as witty and pugnacious2 the ,frenchman as polite2 the ,american as progressive4 ,each individual has not only his human inheritance1 his race inheritance and his national characteristics1 but he has also an endowment of family traits4 ,but we are not made up of odds and ends of ancestral belongings alone4 ,we have in ourselves something that is original1 that makes us different from each other1 and from all others4 ,i have sometimes thought that we are somewhat like patchwork quilts1 the parti-colored blocks being set together by some solid-colored material2 or1 better still1 we are like hit and miss rag carpets1 with a warp of our own individuality1 filled in with a woof made of qualities and capacities of all those who have preceded us4 ,you know1 in making hit and miss rag carpets we take little strips and bits of various materials and all colors1 and sew them together without regard to order or arrangement1 and these long strips are woven back and forth in the warp until the carpet is woven1 showing no set pattern1 but a mingling of tints and shades that is sometimes crude and unsightly1 sometimes soft and artistic4 ,i used1 in childhood1 to find great delight in seeking among the blended colors in the carpet for scraps of clothing which ,i recognized as having belonged to father or mother1 or perhaps even to grandparents4 ,even now1 in my maturer years1 ,i am interested in finding in myself the physical1 mental or moral characteristics of those same ancestors2 and you1 no doubt1 can do the same1 while some of your traits seem to be yours entirely1 constituting individual variations upon ancestral inheritances4 ,nature has been doing for centuries1 unheeded1 what the photographer of to-day thinks is a modern discovery1 that is1 making composite photographs of us all4 ,through this law of inheritance have arisen the intellectual1 the moral or the criminal types of humanity1 and the process is continuing2 the types are becoming more and more marked1 or modifying influences are being brought in to change the type4 ,these influences are also the result of law1 even though we may not be able to trace them to their cause4 ,knowing this1 however1 we begin to see that heredity is not fatality2 that the power to modify the endowments of future generations is ours4 ,to know how to employ it1 we should study the law as far as we have opportunity4 ,this subject is a large one1 and no doubt you will some day want to give it a thorough investigation4 ,just now1 however1 you will have to accept my statements4 ,i will not make them technical1 but strictly practical to you as a young woman desiring that knowledge which shall best fit you for the responsibilities of future life4 ,a superficial study is rather discouraging4 ,we see with what certainty evil characteristics are transmitted1 and we feel that the law is a cruel one2 but if we have patience we shall find that1 like all laws of ,god1 its purpose is for the benefit of the race4 ,before we begin to take comfort from the law let us first learn its warnings1 one of which is that all weakening of the individual1 either in bodily strength1 in intellectual power or moral fiber1 tends to produce a like weakness in posterity4 ,this is why ,i say to you that the young people of the present have in their hands the welfare of the future4 ,their habits to-day are moulding the possibilities of the race4 ,young women may feel that their individual violation of the laws of health is of no importance1 but when they realize that the girls of to-day are the mothers of the future1 and that the physical strength or weakness of each individual girl affects the average health of the nation1 not only now1 but it may be through her posterity for centuries1 we can see that each girl's health is a matter of national and of racial importance4 ,but it is not alone in the physical organization that we can trace the law of heredity in the transmission of undesirable qualities4 ,we find that evil traits and tendencies of mind or morals are transmissible4 ,galton finds that a bad temper is quite sure to be passed on from one generation to the next1 and any peculiarity of disposition in either parents is quite likely to become an inheritance of the child4 ,this fact makes our little faults seem of vastly more importance than otherwise4 ,we can endure them in ourselves1 but they strike us very unpleasantly when we are obliged to see them manifested in our children4 ,as the poet says3 ,little faults unheeded1 which ,i now despise2 ,for my baby took them with her hair and eyes4 ,it may not strike us very unpleasantly when we speak disrespectfully to our parents1 but when our own children show us lack of courtesy and cheerful obedience it cuts deeply1 and all the more deeply if we see in their conduct but a repetition of our own4 ,of course1 if these minor faults are transmissible1 we will not be surprised that graver moral defects are passed on4 ,the grandson of a thief began to steal at three years of age1 and at fourteen was an expert pickpocket4 ,the police records show the same family names recurring year after year4 ,these cases are so grave as to attract attention1 while we overlook the fact that the smaller immoralities are as apt to be transmitted1 and perhaps with increased power4 ,i should be afraid that slight lack of strict integrity in the father might appear as actual crime in the son4 ,i would not omit to mention also the law of ,atavism1 in this discussion of heredity4 ,this is that expression of the law in the omission of one generation in the transmission of a quality4 ,we sometimes see the peculiarities or defects of a man or woman not manifested in their children1 but reappearing in their grandchildren4 ,not long ago ,i was in a family where both parents and all the children had dark hair but one1 and she had long1 bright auburn ringlets4 ,i asked1 ,where did you get your hair8 ,from my red-headed grandmother1 she answered1 with a laugh1 indicating that the matter had been so often discussed in her hearing that she understood it quite fully4 ,to cover the whole scope of the law of heredity would take more time than we have to spare4 ,you can follow out the line of thought1 and make practical application of the facts and principles here laid down4 ,,chapter ,,xxviii4 ,,hereditary ,,effects ,,of ,,alcohol1 ,,tobacco1 ,,etc4 ,civilized life in its progress is accompanied by certain customs and habits which are detrimental to the individual health1 and therefore to national health4 ,the dress of women is not merely an unimportant matter1 to be made the subject of sneers or jests4 ,fashions often create deformities1 and are therefore worthy of most philosophic consideration1 especially when we know that the effects of these deformities may be transmitted4 ,the tightly-compressed waist of the girl displaces her internal organs1 weakens her digestion1 and deprives her children of their rightful inheritance4 ,they are born with lessened vitality1 with diminished nerve power1 and are less likely to live1 or1 living1 are more liable not only to grow up physically weak1 but also lacking in mental and moral stamina4 ,this weakness may manifest itself in immoral tendencies1 or in some form of inebriety4 ,it is now recognized that alcoholism will produce nerve degeneration1 but it is not so well understood that nerve degeneration may be a factor in producing inebriates from alcohol or other poisons4 ,dr4 ,crothers says3 ,hysteria1 convulsions1 unreasonable anger1 excitement1 depression1 credulity1 skepticism1 most unusual emotionalism and faulty reasoning1 are some of the signs of nerve degeneration1 and adds that this central failure of nerve and brain power is often accompanied by a resulting alcohol or drug inebriety4 ,that is1 the weak and degenerate nerves crave a stimulant1 and the weak will yield to the demand1 and inebriety result4 ,if this degeneration of nerve comes from the low vitality given by the mother1 because of her unhealthful habits of dress and life1 is it not wise that in her early womanhood she should know of this possibility1 and guard against it through her care of herself8 ,she ought also to understand the effect of alcohol and other poisons in producing nerve degeneration in the individual1 and its probability in his posterity4 ,george ,mc,michaels says3 ,the hereditary nature of the abnormal condition of which inebriety is the outward sign is not understood1 even by physicians1 as it should be4 ,it is still1 ,i regret to say1 looked upon as a vice acquired by the individual1 the outcome of voluntary wrongdoing4 ,in some few cases this may be true1 but in the majority of instances inquiry into the family history will reveal the presence of an inherited taint1 such families usually showing a neurotic condition4 ,no position in the social or intellectual world is1 or ever has been1 entirely free from the tendency towards alcoholism1 and a study of the family history of the great men who have fallen victims to alcohol will show that the cause has been identical with the case among the most obscure of mankind1 viz43 ,that a degenerated nerve condition has been inherited which renders the sufferer specially susceptible to this and allied neuroses1 such as epilepsy1 idiocy and suicide4 ,the inheritance of an unstable nervous system makes the individual easily affected by what ,i must call 'alcoholic surroundings4' ,in other words1 the provocation to drink which would have no influence upon an ordinary1 stable nervous organization1 is sufficient to turn the neurotic into a confirmed drunkard4 ,as a young woman you hold great power over the race in yourself1 and through your influence over others1 especially over young men4 ,your influence1 wisely used1 may save more than one from a drunkard's fate1 and to use it wisely you should be instructed as to the real character of alcohol and its effects on the system4 ,i have not time to tell you in minuti of the effects of alcohol1 but ,i must take time to speak of the law of heredity in this respect4 ,idiocy and inebriety are on the increase among civilized peoples4 ,this startling fact should make us ask the reason4 ,t4,d4 ,crothers1 ,m4,d41 who is making a life study of inebriety1 states that from #ahgj to #ahij inebriety increased in proportion to the population over #ajj per cent41 and that a large proportion is the result of inebriety in one or both parents4 ,it is a sad fact that many women1 even of good social standing1 are fond of alcoholic beverages4 ,i saw a very bright1 pretty young woman not long since1 at a reception1 refuse to take ice-cream or cake1 but drink four glasses of punch1 with many jests as to her fondness for the same1 apparently without any glimmering of the thought that she was drinking to excess1 although her flushed face and loudness of manner were proof of this to those who were witnesses4 ,many people have an idea that the finer drinks1 such as wine and its various disguises1 do not intoxicate1 but in this they are mistaken4 ,all alcoholics are intoxicating in just the degree that they contain alcohol4 ,the exhilaration of wine is but the first step of intoxication1 and that means always an accompanying lack of judgment1 a lessening of the sense of propriety4 ,one young woman who1 under ordinary circumstances1 was most modest in deportment1 drank at her wedding in response to the toasts to her health1 and grew very jovial1 until at last she danced a jig on the platform at the railway station amid the applause of her exhilarated friends1 who had accompanied the young husband and wife to the train1 as they started on their wedding-journey4 ,what a sorrowful and undignified beginning to the duties of marriage6 ,there is no absolute safety for either man or woman except in total abstinence4 ,the dbauch knows the effect of wine1 and uses that knowledge to lead astray the young girl who1 if herself1 would find no charm in his blandishments1 but who1 after the wine supper1 has no will to resist his advances4 ,a young husband exacted of his bride a promise that she would never take a glass of wine except in his company1 and when asked the reason1 replied that he knew that no woman's judgment was to be trusted after taking one glass of wine4 ,another cause of inebriety in women is found in the patent medicines advertised as a panacea for all pain1 which chemical analysis shows to be largely alcoholic4 ,many temperance women would be horrified to know that they are taking alcohol in varying quantity1 from #f to #dg per cent41 in the bitters1 tonics and restorative medicines they are using1 many of which are especially advertised as purely vegetable extracts1 perfectly harmless1 sustaining to the nervous system1 etc4 ,the result of inebriety of parents in inflicting injury upon offspring has not been well understood in the past1 but is becoming recognized4 ,dr4 ,mc,michael says3 ,in every form of insanity the disease is more dangerous in the mother than in the father1 as far as the next generation is concerned4 ,this is a good and sufficient reason why the daughter of drunken parents1 very often attractive to some men by reason of their excitable1 vivacious1 neurotic manner1 should be carefully avoided by young men in search of wives4 ,the man who marries the daughter of an inebriate not only endangers his own happiness1 but runs the risk of entailing upon his children an inheritance of degradation and misery4 ,no woman should marry a man who1 even occasionally1 drinks to excess4 ,further1 the disposition of the sons of drunken parents ought to be investigated before any girl becomes engaged to one of them4 ,this is one instance in which long engagements are not to be condemned1 for1 if the man has inherited the alcoholic craving1 it may become known in time1 and his fiance may be saved from the most terrible fate that ,i can think of--becoming the wife of a drunkard4 ,one word more before ,i leave this aspect of the subject4 ,as the majority of inebriates are sufferers from a disease which is partly the result of hereditary predisposition1 it is foolish for any woman to marry a drunkard in the belief that she can reform him4 ,if women would realize that alcoholism is a disease and not a vice1 they would understand that1 while the spirit which prompts their devotion and self-sacrifice is praiseworthy1 yet the probability of its success is very remote4 ,no doubt there are women who have made this experiment and who have managed to 'reform1' as it is called1 confirmed inebriates2 but such cases are by no means numerous4 ,while it might not be right to attempt to interfere with any effort to benefit any representative of suffering humanity1 it must be remembered that the fate of the next generation is at stake1 and that unborn children certainly have rights1 although we are very apt to disregard them4 ,admitting1 then1 that anyone is at liberty to risk everything1 even life itself1 to benefit another1 nevertheless it cannot be said that anyone has a moral right to jeopardize the future of a family to satisfy any instinct or feeling of affection1 however noble it may be4 ,if what ,i have written is true1 no woman is justified in marrying a drunkard4 ,the unstable nervous organization bequeathed by intemperate parents is like a sword of ,damocles over the heads of their unfortunate children1 and even moderate drinkers will not give vigorous bodies and strong wills to their descendants4 ,one man boasted that he had used a bottle of wine daily for fifty years1 and it had not injured him2 but of his twelve children1 six died in infancy1 one was imbecile1 one was insane1 the rest were hysterical invalids4 ,and alcohol is not the only substance that inebriates4 ,opium1 morphine1 chloral1 cocaine1 and all drugs of a similar nature1 are dangerous1 and each not only inflicts its injury on the individual1 but transmits its results to posterity in that nerve degeneration which renders the sufferer an easy victim to all forms of intoxication1 and intoxication is nothing more nor less than poisoning4 ,opium and morphine are often prescribed by physicians1 and the patient1 experiencing the sudden relief from pain1 and perhaps not knowing the danger of indulgence1 resorts next time to the delightful pain-quieter on his own responsibility1 and almost before he knows it the habit is formed1 and the weak will that made the easy victim now makes the unwilling slave1 loathing his chains1 yet unable to break them2 and these evil habits are1 in their effects1 transmitted4 ,dr4 ,robertson says3 ,the part that heredity plays in all functional diseases or states of the nervous system is not to be misunderstood4 ,it is safe to assert that no idiopathic case of insanity1 chorea1 hysteria1 megrim1 dipsomania1 or moral insanity1 can occur except by reason of inherited predisposition4 ,the evils of morphinism are even greater than those of alcoholism1 and their transmission no less sure4 ,especially is there loss of moral power4 ,dr4 ,robertson says3 ,no matter how honorable1 upright and conscientious a man's past life may have been1 let him become thoroughly addicted to morphine1 and ,i would not believe any statement he might make1 either with reference to the use of the drug or on any other subject that concerned his habit4 ,this extends further1 and clouds his moral perceptions in all relations of life4 ,dr4 ,brush says3 ,cocaine is the only drug the effects of which are more dangerous and more slavish than the inhalation of the fumes of opium4 ,the danger in the fast life of this age is that we try to find something that will enable us to do our excessive undertakings with less feeling of fatigue4 ,we fail to see in this that we are exhausting our reserve force1 instead of adding to our store of force4 ,the ,popular ,science ,news says that kola1 cocoa1 chocolate1 coffee1 tea1 and similar substances make nervous work seem lighter1 because they call out the reserve fund which should be most sacredly preserved1 and the result is nervous bankruptcy4 ,understanding that nervous bankruptcy of the parent threatens the welfare of future generations through the law of heredity1 we will surely hesitate to bring ourselves under the strain produced by the use of these substances4 ,the most dangerous habit of the present would almost seem to be the tobacco habit1 because it is considered quite respectable and is therefore almost universal4 ,men who are prominent1 not only as statesmen and business men1 but also as moral leaders1 smoke with no apparent recognition of the evils1 and lads can often sanction their beginning of the habit by the fact that a certain pastor or ,sunday-school superintendent is a smoker4 ,but science has not been idle in regard to the investigation of the effects of tobacco1 and the discoveries made have been published1 so that we are not now ignorant of the tobacco heart1 or tobacco throat1 or tobacco nerves1 nor of the transmission of nerve degeneracy to the children of smokers4 ,girls sometimes think it is a great joke to smoke cigarettes for fun1 and some grow into the habit of smoking1 but the injury is not lessened by the fact that the use of the cigarette was begun in jest1 nor that the user is a woman4 ,in fact1 the ,medical ,times is quite inclined to assert that much of the neurasthenia1 including a general disturbance of the digestive organs1 now so common in that portion of the female sex who have ample means and leisure to indulge in any luxury agreeable to their taste1 or which1 for the time being1 may contribute to their enjoyment1 is due to narcotics4 ,during the ,civil ,war we are told that #ac per cent4 of all men examined were excluded as unfit for military service4 ,we are now told that #ca per cent4 are found to be unfit4 ,nearly one-third of the young men found physically incompetent to be soldiers6 ,from what cause8 ,certainly tobacco must bear a large share of the blame4 ,some years ago ,major ,houston1 of the ,naval ,school at ,annapolis1 made the statement that one-fifth of the boys who applied for admittance were rejected on account of heart disease1 and that #ij per cent4 of these had produced the heart difficulty by the use of tobacco4 ,dr4 ,pidduch asserts that the hysteria1 the hypochondriasis1 the consumption1 the dwarfish deformities1 the suffering lives and early deaths of the children of inveterate smokers1 bear ample testimony to the feebleness of constitution which they have inherited4 ,girls sometimes have the idea that a little wildness in a young man is rather to be admired4 ,on one occasion a young woman left a church where she had heard a lecture on the evils of using tobacco1 saying1 as she went out1 ,i would not marry a young man if he did not smoke4 ,i think it looks manly1 and ,i don't want a husband who is not a man among men4 ,years after1 when her three babies died1 one after the other1 with infantile paralysis1 because their father was an inveterate smoker1 the habit did not seem to her altogether so admirable1 and when she herself became a confirmed invalid1 because compelled to breathe night and day a nicotine-poisoned atmosphere1 she gave loud voice to her denunciation of the very habit which in her ignorant girlhood she had characterized as manly4 ,,chapter ,,xxix4 ,,effects ,,of ,,immorality ,,on ,,the ,,race4 ,there is another influence at work in causing race degeneracy concerning which the majority of girls are ignorant1 and that is immorality4 ,the prevalent idea that young men must sow their wild oats is accepted by many young women as true1 and they think if the lover reforms before marriage and remains true to them thereafter1 that is all they can reasonably demand4 ,they will not make such excuses for themselves for lapses from virtue1 but they imbibe the idea that men are not to be held to an absolute standard of purity1 and so think it delicate to shut their eyes to the derelictions of young men4 ,this chapter of human life is a sorrowful one to read1 but to heed its warnings would save many a girl from sorrow1 many a wife from heartache4 ,the law of ,god is not a double law1 holding woman to the most rigid code of a thou shalt not and allowing men the liberty of a thou mayest4 ,the penalty inflicted for the violation of moral law is one of the most severe1 both in its effects upon the individual transgressor and upon his descendants4 ,the most dreadful scourge of physical disease1 as well as moral degeneracy1 follows an impure life4 ,this disease1 known as syphilis1 is practically incurable4 ,it may temporarily disappear1 only to reappear in some other form later in life2 and even after all signs have become quiescent in the man1 they may reappear in his children in some form of transmission4 ,even one lapse from virtue is enough to taint the young man with this dreadful poison1 which may be in after years communicated to his innocent wife or transmitted to his children4 ,dr4 ,guernsey says3 ,i do not overdraw the picture when ,i declare that millions of human beings die annually from the effects of poison contracted in this way1 in some form of suffering or other2 for1 by insinuating its effects into and poisoning the whole man1 it complicates various disorders and renders them incurable4 ,this horrible infection sometimes becomes engrafted upon other acute diseases1 when lingering disorders follow1 causing years of misery1 and only terminating in death4 ,sometimes the poison attacks the throat1 causing most destructive alterations therein4 ,sometimes it seizes upon the nasal bones1 resulting in their entire destruction and an awful disfigurement of the face4 ,sometimes it ultimates itself in the ulceration and destruction of other osseous tissues in different portions of the body4 ,living examples of these facts are too frequently witnessed in the streets of any large city4 ,young men marrying with the slightest taint of this poison in the blood will surely transmit the disease to their children4 ,thousands of abortions transpire every year from this cause alone1 the poison being so destructive as to kill the child in utero1 before it is matured for birth2 and even if the child be born alive1 it is liable to break down with most loathsome disorders of some kind and die during dentition2 the few that survive this period are short-lived1 and are unhealthy so long as they do live4 ,the first unchaste connection of a man with a woman may be attended with a contamination entailing upon him a life of suffering1 and even death itself4 ,almost imperceptible in its origin1 it corrupts the whole body1 makes the very air offensive to surrounding friends1 and lays multitudes literally to rot in the grave4 ,it commences in one part of the body1 and usually1 in more or less degree1 extends to the whole system1 and is said by most eminent physicians to be a morbid poison1 having the power of extending itself to every part of the body into which it is infused1 and to other persons with whom it in any way comes in contact1 so that even its moisture1 communicated by linen or otherwise1 may corrupt those who unfortunately touch it4 ,if girls were aware of all this they would not only be careful how they marry immoral men1 but they would shrink from personal contact with them as from a viper4 ,not one1 but many girls who have held somewhat lax ideas concerning the propriety of allowing young men to be familiar have reaped the result in a contamination merely through the touch of the lips4 ,to-day a young woman in good social standing is a sufferer from this cause4 ,she was acquainted with a young man of respectable family1 but immoral life4 ,his gaiety had a fascination for her1 and his reputed wildness only added to the charm4 ,on one evening1 as he escorted her home1 and took leave of her on the doorstep1 she allowed him to kiss her4 ,it chanced that at the time she had a small sore on her lip4 ,the poisonous touch of his lips conveyed the infection through this slight abrasion1 and she became tainted with the syphilitic virus1 and to-day bears the loathsome disfigurement in consequence4 ,i do not need to multiply such cases4 ,you can be warned by one as well as by a hundred4#b ,a young woman of pure life married a man whose reputation was bad1 but whose social position was high4 ,to-day she is suffering from the horrible disease which he communicated to her1 and her children have died or are betraying to the world in their very faces the story of their father's wrong deeds4 ,truly you cannot afford to be ignorant of facts so grave as these4 ,,footnotes3 #b ,for an extended presentation of the character and diseases which accompany vice1 the reader is referred to the chapters which treat of this subject in ,what a ,young ,man ,ought to ,know4 ,every young woman should be intelligent upon these important subjects4 ,there is nothing in this book to young men which a young woman approaching maturity may not know1 both with propriety and benefit1 so that she may most successfully protect herself from possible companionship with well-dressed and polite but impure young men by discreetly placing the book in the hands of her father and brothers1 that they may become intelligent concerning the dangers against which they can most successfully protect her4 ,it might not be improper for her1 after due acquaintance1 to see that the book is placed in the hands of the one who seeks to become her husband and the father of her children1 that she may at the proper time1 and before it is too late1 learn whether he has always lived by the standards of social purity which are there set up1 and whether he is able to bring to the union the same unsullied life and character which he expects and requires of her4 ,,chapter ,,xxx4 ,,the ,,gospel ,,of ,,heredity4 ,i have often heard people say that ,god was unjust in making this law of heredity and compelling innocent children to bear the sins of the guilty parents1 and at first thought it might so seem2 but ,god is a ,god of justice and also of mercy1 and our study of ,his laws in their ultimate outcome leads us to know that they are invariably made for our welfare4 ,let us see1 then1 if we cannot find something encouraging even in this law of heredity4 ,are the majority of people born straight or deformed1 sick or well1 honest or dishonest8 ,you may ask1 ,are all of these conditions a matter of heredity8 ,certainly4 ,the fact that we are human beings instead of animals1 that we have our due proportion of organs and faculties1 that we are not monstrosities or imbeciles1 are all hereditary conditions4 ,we see1 then1 that the law of heredity insures to us our full complement of organs and capabilities1 as well as the more pronounced characteristics which we the more readily recognize as inheritances4 ,the fact is that inheritance of good is so universal that we fail to think of it4 ,when the baby is well-favored and straight-limbed1 no credit is given to heredity2 but if he is in some way out of the ordinary1 we blame the law that has fixed on him some result of parental conduct4 ,if he possesses a good mentality1 it scarcely occurs to us that this is just as surely heredity as is the transmission of the mental weakness of some ancestor4 ,by the ,gospel of ,heredity ,i mean this brighter side1 this ,good-tidings of the law4 ,in the first written ,biblical record of the law1 where the statement is made that the sins of the fathers are visited upon the children to the third and fourth generation1 we have also the statement of the ,good-tidings that the ,lord sheweth mercy to thousands of them that love him and keep his commandments2 and that means not thousands of individuals1 but thousands of generations4 ,justice is meted to the third and fourth1 but mercy to thousands of generations4 ,all through the ,scriptures we find this brighter phase of the law enunciated4 ,perhaps you would like to study both the law and the ,gospel from the ,bible4 ,i will give you some texts and you can find them for yourself4 ,it would be interesting also for you to read the lives of men and women of renown1 and observe the transmission of talents and capabilities4 ,encouraging as this view of the subject may be1 it is by no means the brightest side of the subject of heredity1 for if we have inherited no special talents1 and if we are handicapped by the transmitted results of the sins of our ancestors1 we may say ,there is no hope for us1 nor for our children4 ,to us then will come1 as special ,good-tidings of great joy1 the news that heredity is not fatality4 ,we are not obliged to sit and quietly bear the fetters our ancestors have forged for us4 ,we can break the chains1 we can free ourselves4 ,it may be difficult1 but it can be done1 and a great incentive to the effort is found in the fact that by success we not only improve ourselves1 but we can pass on a better inheritance to our posterity4 ,we may cultivate our health by obedience to its laws so as to overcome inherited weaknesses to a very great extent4 ,we are not absolutely obliged to die with consumption because one of our parents did4 ,by simple living1 and especially by deep breathing of pure air1 we may so strengthen ourselves that we will have the power to resist the encroachments of the germ of tuberculosis4 ,we may be born with weak digestive power1 but by plain1 wholesome fare1 by freedom from worry1 by a careful attention to all healthful habits1 we may grow strong and free from dyspeptic symptoms4 ,we can by cultivation of our minds and morals not only increase our own powers1 but add to the powers of our posterity4 ,then1 too1 the effects of mental education are transmissible2 not the education itself1 but an increased capacity1 a new tendency4 ,every mental activity is accompanied by an actual modifying influence on brain structure1 so that we are really building our brains by our thoughts1 and this increase of our own brains is transmissible to posterity4 ,i know that some of our philosophers assert strongly that acquired characteristics are not transmitted1 and their theories seem quite plausible2 but ,i would rather accept facts than theories any time1 and ,professor ,elmer ,gates has demonstrated that this theory does not accord with the facts4 ,he has trained dogs until they could recognize seven or eight shades of green or red4 ,the brains of these dogs1 so trained1 show under the microscope a great increase of brain-cells in the visual area1 proving that the education has created actual brain material4 ,the progeny of these dogs1 to several generations1 shows at birth a much larger number of brain-cells in the visual area than is the case where the ancestry has not been so strained4 ,where the dogs have been brought up in absolute darkness there is a great lack of cells in the visual area1 both in these dogs and in their progeny4 ,this is the brief statement of a most hopeful and encouraging fact4 ,we look to the dark side of the law of heredity for our warning4 ,it makes us solemnly thoughtful in view of our power over the race in the transmitted result from our own wrongdoing2 and then1 when we feel overwhelmed and discouraged1 we turn towards the ,gospel of ,heredity and take hope from the fact that good is transmissible2 and1 more than that1 we have it in our power so to modify our own characters1 tendencies and habits that we can1 in all probability1 give our children a better dower than we received1 and the earlier in life we begin this making over of ourselves the better4 ,i have heard people excuse themselves for all manner of faults on the plea that they were inheritances1 and therefore could not be overcome4 ,that is to declare that we are slaves1 with no chance to acquire freedom1 and ,i am not willing to admit that4 ,whereas in ,adam all die1 in ,christ may all be made alive4 ,that is1 that while under the ,law of ,heredity we are fettered1 under the ,gospel of ,heredity our chains may be broken and we become free4 ,there is much of encouragement in the poem of ,ella ,wheeler ,wilcox on heredity3 ,there is no trait you cannot overcome4 ,say not thy evil instinct is inherited1 ,or that some trait inborn makes thy whole life forlorn1 ,and calls for punishment that is not merited4 ,back of thy parents and grandparents lies ,the great ,eternal ,will1 that1 too1 is thine ,inheritance--strong1 beautiful1 divine2 ,sure lever of success for one who tries4 ,pry up thy fault with this great lever--will2 ,however deeply bedded in propensity2 ,however firmly set1 ,i tell thee firmer yet ,is that great power that comes from truth's immensity4 ,there is no noble height thou canst not climb2 ,all triumphs may be thine in time's futurity1 ,if1 whatsoe'er thy fault1 thou dost not faint or halt1 ,but lean upon the staff of ,god's security4 ,earth has no claim the soul cannot contest2 ,know thyself part of the supernal source1 ,and naught can stand before thy spirit's force2 ,the soul's divine inheritance is best4 ,,bible ,,texts ,,bearing ,,on ,,the ,,subject ,,of ,,heredity4 ,natural ,heredity4 ,law4--,gen4 #a3ab-bd2 ,ex4 #bj3f2 ,num4 #ad3ah4 ,sins visited4--,job #ba3ag-ai2 ,ps4 #cg3bh2 ,jer4 #cb3ah4 ,blessings4--,gen4 #bb3ag1 #ah2 ,deut4 #d3dj2 #e3bi2 #cj3ai2 ,ps4 #ba3ac2 #cg3ah1 #bb1 #bf1 #bi2 #ajc3ag1 #ah2 #aab3a1 #b2 #abh3c2 ,prov4 #aj3be2 #aa3ai2 #ac3bb2 #ag3f2 #bj3g2 ,isa4 #dh3ah1 #ai2 ,jer4 #cb3ah4 ,divine ,heredity4 ,isa4 #dc3af2 ,jer4 #c3ai2 ,mal4 #b3aj2 ,matt4 #e3i1 #de1 #dh2 #f3d1 #f1 #i1 #ad1 #ae1 #ah1 #bf2 ,john #bj3ag2 ,rom4 #h3af1 #ag2 ,gal4 #d3g2 ,eph4 #d3f2 #b ,peter #a3d2 #a ,john #c3b2 #e3a4 ,,chapter ,,xxxi4 ,,requisites ,,of ,a ,,husband4 ,having spent so much time in the study of principles and laws1 we will now return to the discussion of this concrete case4 ,what can you decide in regard to this individual young man to whom you think you have given your heart8 ,what is he in his inheritance8 ,what is he in himself8 ,i do not ask that he shall have inherited wealth1 for that often proves a young man's ruin1 but does he come of an honest1 industrious family8 ,have you just reason to suppose that he will make a fair success of life8 ,is his father shiftless1 lazy1 improvident8 ,if so1 it will be harder for him to be provident1 business-like4 ,has he true ideas of the dignity of life and his own responsibility8 ,is he looking for an easy job1 or does he purpose to give a fair equivalent for all that he receives8 ,would he rather toil at honest manual labor than be supported by a rich father-in-law8 ,what are his ideas as to his responsibility in the founding of a home8 ,how will he look upon his wife8 ,as an equal1 a companion1 or as a plaything1 a petted child1 or a sort of upper servant8 ,what value does he put upon the wife's labor in the conducting of the household8 ,will he consider that the money he hands over to her is a gift from him1 or only a fair recognition of the value of her work1 a rendering to her of her share in the family purse8 ,what is his estimate of woman8 ,is she an individual with rights1 with intellect and heart1 with a judgment to be consulted1 opinions worthy of recognition1 or only an appendage to man1 created for his comfort and to be held in her sphere by his will8 ,what are his defects of temper1 or his weaknesses of body8 ,of course1 to you now he seems perfection1 and yet he is a human being1 fallible and imperfect4 ,if his faults are similar to yours1 you double the possibility of their inheritance by your children4 ,if you both have a tendency to lung trouble1 the probabilities are that your children will have consumption4 ,if you both are of rheumatic proclivities1 you may expect a manifestation of the same early in the life of your children4 ,if you both are nervous or irritable in temper1 both jealously inclined1 or are morbid and melancholy1 you need not be surprised at an intensifying of these qualities in your little ones4 ,if there are more serious family traits1 such as insanity1 epilepsy1 alcoholism and the like1 it might even be your duty never to run the risk of their transmission4 ,i once spoke on heredity when in the audience sat a young man by the side of his fiance1 who1 ,i was afterwards told1 had been in an insane asylum three times1 and yet he purposed marrying her4 ,i know a clergyman who has wisely dedicated himself to a celibate life because there is marked insanity in his family4 ,you chafe a little under this reiteration of the duty you owe to children yet unborn1 and who may possibly never exist1 and perhaps you say1 as ,i have heard girls say1 ,oh1 ,i don't mean to have any children2 and perhaps you add1 ,i don't see why people may not marry and be happy just by themselves without having children4 ,it is not strange that you should not understand all that is involved in such a statement4 ,it is true that some married people do not have children1 and are comparatively happy1 and yet perhaps if we could read their hearts we should find that the one great longing of their lives is for the blessing of a child4 ,it is natural to desire to know the joys of parenthood4 ,in the home1 through the cares and love1 the anxiety1 self-sacrifice1 tenderness and patience which accompany parenthood1 the education of the individual is made most complete and perfect4 ,the girl who marries without a willingness to accept these responsibilities is willing to sacrifice that which1 rightly borne1 will bring her the highest development4 ,if she purposes deliberately to avoid motherhood she puts herself in a position of moral peril1 for such immunity is not often secured except at the risk of criminality4 ,i say not often1 although ,i believe that if husband and wife are actuated by the worthy motive of not inflicting on posterity some dower of woe1 they are justified in a marriage that does not contemplate parenthood1 if they are of lofty purpose enough to live solely in mental and spiritual companionship4 ,but all attempts to secure the pleasure of a physical relation and escape its legitimate results are a menace to the health and a degradation to the moral nature4 ,this subject1 and the questions arising therefrom1 will be discussed more fully in the next book of this series1 ,what a ,young ,wife ,ought to ,know4 ,but how is a girl to know all these things concerning her lover's ideas1 thoughts1 principles1 and purposes8 ,many of these you think cannot be known until after marriage1 and then it is too late4 ,that is true2 therefore be wise and learn all you can of each other's habits1 peculiarities1 opinions1 and predilections now1 before it is too late4 ,talk over business matters4 ,find out what your lover's ideas are as to the wife's right to a pecuniary recognition of the value of her labor in making the home4 ,does he think that she earns nothing1 and that what he gives her of his money is a donation for which she gives no return8 ,i know a young woman who had been self-supporting before her marriage who felt timid about asking her husband for money4 ,so she wore her wedding garments until they were shabby1 went without money when her own funds were exhausted1 and kept silent for five years1 and her husband--a young clergyman--never thought to ask her if she needed anything1 never observed her growing shabbiness4 ,when at last she summoned courage to tell him her needs1 he was overwhelmed with regret for his own lack of thought and observation1 and yet he could not understand why she should hesitate to ask for money4 ,why1 it is all yours1 dear1 he said4 ,you were only asking for what already belongs to you4 ,and many young husbands are just as obtuse1 therefore they should receive in advance the instruction that is needed to prevent a possibility of such neglect4 ,have it understood that if you are worthy to be trusted as a bearer of the name and a sharer of the fortunes of a man1 you are worthy to share also the burden of the knowledge of his business experiences1 and to bear the responsibility of economically guarding his interests in the expenditure of money which1 by your love and care and labor1 you have helped him to earn4 ,i think a young woman should know something of the personal habits of her future husband4 ,does he like fresh air1 or does he want the windows hermetically sealed at night4 ,is he a believer in the godliness of cleanliness8 ,i have just read of two people who married after a six week's acquaintance1 knowing nothing of each other's antecedents1 personal habits1 caprices or principles4 ,the man proved to be a regular hypochondriac1 taking medicine constantly1 at one time with five doctors prescribing for him4 ,he counted his pulse at every odd moment1 and looked at his tongue instead of at the eyes of his wife1 as he had done when a lover4 ,he had a dread of pure air1 and was as averse to bathing as a cat4 ,the woman had lived in the open air1 taken a daily morning bath1 and was disgusted with those who did not do likewise4 ,the writer says1 ,she stormed1 took her baths1 and opened the windows2 he cried1 took no baths1 shut the windows1 and called the doctors4 ,there is no need to depict the unhappiness of the home1 and yet no doubt the girl would have been shocked had anyone suggested that she inquire into these facts concerning her lover4 ,but if she had been less romantic and more practical1 if she had remembered that the marriage contract would bind her for life to one who would be more closely connected with her than anyone else could be1 and this union for life1 by day and by night1 constant1 continuous1 and not to be annulled by any such small matters as bad breath or unpleasant personal habits1 perhaps she would have considered it no small matter to discover the possible causes of disgust before they became fixtures in her life4 ,and perhaps1 also1 she would have given her own personal habits more consideration4 ,true love will endure much1 but it sometimes dies in the presence of untidiness1 of carelessness as to dress or room1 or lack of sweetness of person or of breath4 ,if you demand much of a husband1 he has a right to demand just as much from you4 ,if there are habits concerning which you would rather he as a lover should be ignorant1 believe me that it is even more important that as a husband he should not know them4 ,therefore employ your available time before marriage to rid yourself of them4 ,if a lover would be disenchanted to see the room from which his blooming1 beauteous adored one had departed1 bearing the marks of carelessness and disorder1 with soiled clothing1 unmade bed1 shoes1 hose and dresses all in tumbled heaps on chairs and floor1 remember that the marriage ceremony does not make such a room more attractive to the husband1 who must not only see but share its discomforts4 ,in addition to the knowledge of each other's personal peculiarities there should be an understanding of each other's ideas as to the duties and responsibilities of their proposed relation to each other4 ,i lately received a letter from a young woman who asks1 ,how freely do you think two engaged young people may talk concerning their future life8 ,would it not be indelicate for them to discuss their future relations1 the possibility and responsibilities of parenthood1 etc48 ,i answer1 that depends on the young people4 ,if they have false ideas1 if they have little or no scientific knowledge1 if their thoughts are filled with wrong mental pictures1 they will not know how to talk wisely and beneficially4 ,but these two young people are intelligent1 are scientifically educated1 are ,christians4 ,their hearts are pure1 their standards high1 their motives praiseworthy4 ,it would seem that they might talk as freely as their inclination would prompt4 ,in fact there seems to me more indelicacy and more danger from long evenings spent in murmuring ardent protestations of love and indulging in embraces and endearments than in a frank1 serious conversation on the realities and responsibilities of marriage1 an exchange of earnest thoughts1 voiced in chaste1 well-chosen language--a conversation which by its very solemnity is lifted out of the realm of sense-pleasure into the dignified domain of science and morality4 ,,chapter ,,xxxii4 ,,engagements4 ,there now sparkles on your finger a ring that symbolizes the promise you have given to become a wife4 ,you are engaged1 and there now arises in your mind the query as to the conduct of yourselves during this period of engagement3 ,how much of privilege shall you grant your lover8 ,as you are promised to each other for life1 are you not warranted in assuming towards each other greater personal familiarity8 ,may you not with perfect modesty allow endearments and caresses that hitherto have not been permissible8 ,i take it for granted that you are not one of those unwise young women who permit themselves to become engaged for fun2 who consider an engagement as of so little seriousness that it may be made and broken without regret4 ,i have known girls who even enter into engagements just in order to feel justified in greater freedom of conduct without compunction of conscience4 ,if such engagements do not violate the code of conventionalities they certainly infringe upon the moral code4 ,it is not strange that girls should fail to see all the dangers of such conduct--that they should not comprehend that thus they become sources of temptation to their lovers1 and may even imperil their own safety4 ,but your engagement is an honest one1 your love is true1 based upon thorough acquaintance2 you have mutual respect and entire confidence in each other4 ,may you not now throw aside much of the restrictions that have surrounded your association and manifest your affection in reciprocal demonstrations8 ,we often read the advice to young people not to enter upon long engagements1 and the reason given is that it exacts too much in the way of self-control1 is too great a nervous strain1 is too full of peril4 ,i would like to quote just here a few words by ,dr4 ,c4,w4 ,eaton3 ,away with the sexual argument against engagements1 and let us all set about that cultivation of will and purpose which can make the weakest a tower of strength and the arbiter of his own destiny2 and let us say to our appetites1 ,thus far shalt thou come and no farther1 neither shalt thou presume to deny to thy master the best earthly companionship which may come into his life4 ,it may be a far harder task than the ardent and poetical lover allows himself at first to think1 but the hardest battles are best worth the fighting2 and what manner of men should we become if we systematically evaded life's conflicts1 instead of meeting them squarely and fighting them through manfully8 ,dr4 ,bourgeois says3 ',the ancient custom of betrothals is the safeguard for the purity of morals and the happy association of man and wife4 ,this institution was known to the ,greeks1 the ,hebrews1 the ,romans1 and during the ,middle ,ages4 ,in ,germany it has still preserved its poetical and moral character4 ,the young people are sometimes affianced many years before their marriage4 ,we see the young man1 thus betrothed1 with heart full of his chaste love1 absent himself for a time in order to finish his education1 to perform his studies of science or art1 his apprenticeship to a trade1 and to prepare himself for manly life4 ,he returns to his betrothed with a soul which has remained pure1 with a reason enlarged and fortified4 ,then both are ripe for the austere duties of marriage4 ',chaste love1 consecrated by betrothals1 can be cultivated in the midst of work4 ,it lightens toil1 it banishes ennui1 it illumines the horizon of life with delightful prospects2 it excites in the young man the manly courage and the high intelligence to create for himself a position in the world2 in woman1 the noble ambition to perfect herself to become a worthy companion and good adviser4 ',during the stormy period of youth it is the only means of preserving the virgin purity of the heart and of the body4 ,does anyone believe that young men who in good season have in their hearts a love strong and worthy of them would profane themselves1 as they so often otherwise do1 in vile affections1 in those relations of a day1 giving themselves a holocaust to beauty without soul1 or even to licentiousness without beauty8' ,emerson says3 ,if1 however1 from too much conversing with material objects the soul was gross1 and misplaced its satisfaction in the body1 it reaped nothing but sorrow1 body being unable to fulfill the promise which beauty holds out2 but if1 accepting the hint of these visions and suggestions which beauty makes to his mind1 the soul passes through the body and fails to admire strokes of character1 and the lovers contemplate one another in their discourses and their actions1 then they pass to the true palace of beauty1 more and more inflame their love of it1 and by this love extinguishing the base affection1 as the sun puts out fire by shining on the hearth1 they become pure and hallowed4 ,by conversation with that which is in itself excellent1 magnanimous1 lowly and just1 the lover comes to a warmer love of these nobilities1 and a quicker apprehension of them4 ,then he passes from loving them in one to loving them in all1 and so is the one beautiful soul only the door through which he enters to the society of all true and pure souls4 ,in the particular society of his mate he attains a clearer sight of any spot1 any taint which her beauty has contracted from this world1 and is able to point it out1 and this with mutual joy that they are now able1 without offense1 to indicate blemishes and hindrances in each other1 and give to each all help and comfort in curing the same4 ,and beholding in many souls the traits of the divine beauty1 and separating in each soul that which is divine from the taint which it has contracted in the world1 the lover ascends to the highest beauty1 to the love and knowledge of the ,divinity1 by steps on this ladder of created souls4 ,and this all means that when the thought of the sex-relation constitutes in the mind of either the idea of marriage1 then the wedding ceremony will be supposed to remove all restrictions1 and the only limit of gratification will be the limit of desire4 ,under these circumstances the close familiarity of a long engagement would be a mental and physical tax1 because the self-control exercised is felt to be only temporary1 and will be no longer needed when the wedding ceremony has been said4 ,but if the idea of marriage is nobler1 if the sex-relation is consecrated to its highest purpose of reproduction1 if marriage is felt to be only an added opportunity for self-control1 which will be more difficult then because there will be no restraint except that which is self-imposed1 then the engagement will be felt to be a time of gradual preparation for that closer relationship which needs more will-power because opportunity is greater4 ,under these conditions the lovers will be aiming towards an ideal which recognizes that in wedded life all that is lasting in affection1 in tender courtesy1 in most intimate companionship1 in sweetest demonstration1 is possible without the physical union1 which in itself is the most transitory of pleasures1 but which in unlimited indulgence becomes the most domineering of passions1 exhaustive of physical power and of mental vigor1 and absolutely annihilating all true love4 ,if you ask why there should exist this marvelous drawing of the sexes towards each other if their relation is not based upon the exercise of sex-functions1 ,i reply that sex is more than its local expression2 it is inherent in mind as well as body1 and therefore sexual power may be expressed in masculine courage1 energy or daring1 or in feminine constancy1 self-abnegation1 or sweet courtesy4 ,sexual attraction is not limited to the local expression1 nor creative power to reproduction of kind1 but may give a stimulus to the intellectual companionship of men and women1 and result in the creation of nobler ideals and grander aspirations4 ,having settled in your mind your attitude towards your lover1 let us consider what it shall be towards your family during these days of the engagement4 ,naturally you will not feel a separation from the home circle as keenly as do the other members of your family4 ,you two are so absorbed in each other1 are so busy exchanging ideas1 in becoming acquainted1 that you are oblivious to the change brought about in your family4 ,you think you two ought to be allowed the privilege of tte--ttes1 for of course you cannot talk freely together in the hearing of others4 ,this is true4 ,you should have times of seclusion1 when1 without a sense of oppression through fear of criticism or jesting1 you can rhapsodize1 or quote poetry and open your hearts' treasures to each other4 ,but you still owe a duty to your home4 ,doubtless your mother is not now as necessary to your happiness as you are to hers4 ,she is thinking of you with most tender solicitude1 she misses your presence1 she already begins to feel the loneliness of the inevitable separation4 ,if you are thoughtful you will see to it that the separation does not begin sooner than is necessary4 ,then1 too1 your parents need to get acquainted with this new member whom you are to introduce into the family1 and he needs to know them4 ,he will think none the less of you if he sees that you do not allow him to monopolize you entirely1 that you recognize your obligations to the family and that you expect him to recognize them also1 and1 in addition1 his obligations to show them due courtesy and attention4 ,he is not to absorb you entirely1 to take you out of the home circle1 but he is to come in and be a part of it1 even as you are to become one in the home of which he is a member4 ,you need to remember that he is son and brother to women who loved him long before you knew him1 and that he still owes them attention and thoughtful1 affectionate courtesy4 ,never allow yourself to feel jealous of his mother or sisters4 ,the fact that he is a loving1 thoughtful son and brother is in a measure a guarantee that he will be a loving1 thoughtful husband4 ,let me add to this advice a word more4 ,do not allow yourself to feel jealous of him in any way4 ,jealousy is the quintessence of selfishness1 and no other passion is so destructive of happiness1 so full of the contagion of evil4 ,if your lover is not to be trusted1 you would be wise to end the engagement at once4 ,if he is to be trusted1 that trust should be absolute4 ,i said you should not allow him to monopolize you1 neither should you attempt to monopolize him4 ,there are other people in the world besides yourself1 and other occupations than the business of waiting on you4 ,if you make him feel that he dare not speak to anyone but you1 that he dare not think of anything but you1 he will begin to chafe under the restraint and feel a desire to break the bonds that are becoming fetters4 ,if he were not your acknowledged lover1 if you were anxious to win his love1 but were a little uncertain as to your power to do so1 you would not meet him with tears and upbraidings because he had for one moment seemed to forget you1 but you would at once use every possible effort to make yourself more attractive in his eyes than any other person could possibly be4 ,you will be wise to use those same tactics now1 even though his allegiance is pledged to you4 ,be so charming that no one else can be considered so entertaining2 that no one else can be so wise1 so witty1 so sympathetic1 so altogether lovely1 that everything but yourself is forgotten2 and then believe in him so absolutely that he could not possibly swerve in his fidelity to you4 ,have you ever thought that to accuse one of a certain wrong act may be just the way to suggest to him the possibility of committing it8 ,if one trusts you implicitly1 that very trust is a constant suggestion to be true1 and doubt is a suggestion to act worthy of being doubted4 ,you must trust each other or you have no sure foundation for future love and happiness4 ,it needs a great deal of good common sense to learn how to live happily in marriage4 ,you may have chosen wisely4 ,the man may be honest1 pure1 kindly1 intelligent1 and ,christian1 but he is human1 therefore not perfect4 ,he has faults1 peculiarities1 moods1 perhaps tempers1 and he will probably not wait until you are married to begin to show them4 ,there will come differences of opinions1 divergences in desires1 clashings in judgment4 ,now is the time to display your tact1 to learn how to express an opposing opinion without arousing antagonism1 to yield a desire for the sake of a greater love than that of self1 to adhere to principle without unpleasant discussion2 in short1 to be dignified and womanly without pettiness or littleness of any kind4 ,you remember the words of ,ruskin1 that the woman must be incorruptibly good1 instinctively1 infallibly wise1 not for self-development1 but for self-renunciation1 and that will be the highest development4 ,no doubt you will think that some of this advice should be given to young men as well as to young women1 and ,i think so too1 and were ,i talking to your lover ,i could say many warning words2 but just now ,i am telling you things that he does not need to hear1 and ,i do not need to tell you what1 if ,i had the chance1 ,i would say to him4 ,you are to train yourself and not him1 and yet ,i would not have you ignorant of your power over him in developing in him all that is noblest and best4 ,you should hold him ever to his highest ideals4 ,he should never feel so absolutely sure of your adoration as to imagine that it will endure a lowering of his standards4 ,you have been posing a little before each other4 ,doubtless you were not aware of this1 but1 now that you have each gained the heart of the other1 you may sometimes feel that you can relax2 but this is a dangerous error4 ,you should continue to be as thoughtful1 as courteous1 as careful as ever2 you should endeavor really to be all that you have tried or appeared to be during these days of courtship4 ,you will be none too perfect even then4 ,once1 in talking to a group of women1 ,i asserted that a wife should exact of her husband as high a tone of morality as of her lover1 that she should not allow him to become lax in his conversation with her any more than with any other woman4 ,one woman thought me too strict4 ,she said men liked to feel that at home they could do as they pleased1 and would resent a wife's interference with their right to be loose in their talk in their own home4 ,i replied that the home is not the man's nor the woman's alone2 it is theirs jointly2 that each has a right to demand that the other shall not pollute or poison the air1 the food1 the water or the moral atmosphere2 and the wife who allows contamination of the thought-atmosphere of the home is as culpable as if she were to permit poison to be put into the food4 ,as a man admires the girl who respects herself too much to permit him to tell her questionable stories1 so will he reverence the wife who refuses to allow him to degrade himself in her presence either by speech or conduct4 ,love would not so often fail if wives knew the secret of retaining it1 and that is not by sacrifice of principle1 nor by tearful reproaches and upbraidings1 but by being true to the highest impulses1 and while having the good common sense that can make all reasonable allowance for fallibility1 still permits no lowering of moral standards1 no willful falling short of the very best4 ,,chapter ,,xxxiii4 ,,the ,,wedding4 ,said my friend3 ,there's to be a grand wedding1 you know1 ,with no end to the fuss and parade1 ,with sixteen fair bridesmaids to stand in a row1 ,with sixteen young groomsmen to help out the show1 ,one to stand by the side of each maid4 ,then there's a reception to be very fine1 ,with all sorts of magnificent things1 ,with silver to glitter and mirrors to shine1 ,with tropical fruit and famous old wine1 ,with odorous flowers and music divine1 ,drawn forth from melodious strings4 ,in the minds of many girls the wedding means only this public show1 the display of elegant toilets1 the reception of costly gifts2 and the preparation of marriage means too often merely the making of an elegant trousseau4 ,people generally do not ask concerning the fitness of the young people to enter on the solemn duties of life--do not ask how well they have been instructed concerning that which is before them2 but the questions are all about clothes and gifts and ceremonials4 ,no wonder1 then1 that the thought of the young woman centers on these things1 to the exclusion of nearly all else2 indeed1 it may be to the detriment of health and the lessening of true happiness4 ,the prospective husband finds his fiance so absorbed in sewing1 shopping and interviews with dressmakers that she has few moments to give to him1 and these few occupied more with the thought of gowns and personal adornments than with ideals of wedded happiness4 ,perhaps she even excuses herself for lessening the number of his visits on the plea that very soon now she will be all his1 and so he is left to spend his last days of bachelorhood in loneliness1 and made to feel that raiment is more than love4 ,worse still1 it may be that on the wedding-day he takes to his heart a bride so wearied1 so nervously exhausted by the preparations of the trousseau that she is at least temporarily an invalid4 ,i have known more than one bride so worn out by the preparation for her wedding that instead of bringing brightness1 joy and beauty into the new life1 she brought illness1 anxiety and care1 and made demands at once upon the patience and service of the husband1 who had a right to expect health and vigor and a power to enjoy4 ,i knew a sensible girl who said months before her marriage1 ,i am not going to bring to my new life a remnant of health1 a shattered nervous system and a tattered temper1 and she kept her word4 ,her sewing was done by degrees1 and was all out of the way weeks before the wedding4 ,shopping and dressmaking were never allowed to interfere with the walks and drives1 the chats and moonlight strolls4 ,we shall not be able to repeat this experience1 she wisely said1 and so her lover found her ever ready to give him her society and her thought4 ,her trousseau was not elaborate1 her wedding-dress was simple1 but in it she shone like a flower of the morning1 full of brightness and health and joy4 ,she was wise in other respects4 ,only her intimate friends were invited to the wedding ceremony1 and to these she said1 ,i want you to feel that it is you ,i invite1 not your gifts4 ,if your love impels you to give me some simple memento of yourself it will be cherished1 but ,i'd rather have a pincushion made by your own hand1 or a little flower painted by yourself1 than the most costly purchased picture or most elegant piece of silver that you bought1 because you thought it was expected4 ,and if1 when you come1 you bring no gift but your love and blessing1 ,i shall feel that that is the richest treasure4 ,there was no display of presents to a vulgar curiosity1 no collection of duplicate butter-knives or berry-spoons to be secretly disposed of after the wedding4 ,the gifts were few and not costly1 but each told its own story of personal affection1 and therefore really had a meaning4 ,this sensible young woman introduced another innovation into her wedding4 ,she would not listen to the suggestion of a bridal tour4 ,i do not want to be stared at and commented on by strangers1 she said4 ,let us go to some quiet spot in the mountains or by the sea1 and let us live with each other and with nature4 ,in after years she often said1 ,i would not miss from my memory the picture of those happy days for anything that any trip on railway trains and sojourns at hotels could give me4 ,we had time and opportunity to learn each other's souls as we could not have done amid 'the madding crowd2' and we have loved each other more truly1 ,i know1 because in those early wedded days we sat with ,nature and ,nature's ,god in the true companionship which such solitude alone can bring4 ,i never see the parade of a fashionable wedding that ,i am not reminded of her and of a sad contrast to her experience1 when two young people were married amid a blaze of light1 a rain of flowers1 and under the curious eyes of hundreds of strangers took their wedding tour1 while the papers glowingly described the dress and beauty of the bride1 the necktie and the trousers of the groom1 and pictures of the two were labeled ,the ,happy ,couple4 ,in two years the bride came home to her parents wrecked in health and broken in heart4 ,there is a beauty in a golden wedding that truly celebrates a happy union of half a century4 ,but when life is all untried1 when perhaps the two young people know nothing of what is before them1 it may be are but little acquainted with each other1 and have mistaken the thrill of passion for the steady exaltation of love1 then it would seem wiser to make the occasion one of most solemn import1 free from glitter and show1 and full of that deep meaning which makes the heart stand still in reverence for life's deepest mysteries4 ,o1 gallant young groom1 it may seem a slight thing ,to take this young girl as your bride2 ,to place on her finger the plain golden ring1 ,around her these bright flower-festoons to fling1 ,but have you e'er thought what the future will bring ,to you in this life so untried8 ,have you thought how your temper may often be tried8 ,that you may grow gouty and old1 ,that the fair smiling face of your bonnie young bride ,may grow pale and haggard1 and wrinkled1 beside1 ,or she prove a sloven and scold8 ,and you1 bonnie bride1 on this glad wedding day1 ,in the midst of the curious crowd1 ,do you fancy that life will be always so gay8 ,can you work1 can you wait1 do you know how to pray1 ,can you suffer1 and not cry aloud8 ,can you watch out the hours by sad beds of pain8 ,can you bear and forbear and forgive8 ,can you cheerfully hope e'en when hoping is vain1 ,and when hope is dead1 and to die you would fain1 ,can you still feel it right you should live8 ,o1 touchingly solemn and tender the hour1 ,so full of deep meaning the vow ,you have uttered4 ,and sorely you need ,divine power ,to guide you and guard you in sunshine and shower1 ,for trouble will come and love's delicate flower ,be crushed1 you can scarcely tell how4 ,and yet1 dear heart1 there is nothing that has such unconquerable vitality as love2 but it must be true love1 not self-love1 not sentimentality1 not passion1 not any of the spurious emotions that masquerade under the name of love1 and which wither with the slightest adverse wind4 ,love is not an exotic1 growing only in the conservatories of wealth4 ,it is a hardy plant1 covering desolate places with verdure1 glowing amid the snows of mountain peaks1 blossoming by night as well as by day1 hiding defects1 clinging to ruins1 enduring drouth and heat and cold4 ,i know a woman who says that there should never be marriage where there are unpleasant peculiarities1 idiosyncrasies1 or even mannerisms2 but should we act on that principle1 few would marry4 ,love is sometimes said to be blind in the days of wooing1 but wearing magnifying glasses after wedlock4 ,true love is never blind1 but he is capable of judging of true relative values1 and will count as naught the slight defect when measured by the overwhelming perfection4 ,who has not seen men devoted to wives who were homely or peculiar1 but who were genuinely pure and true8 ,i don't care1 said one woman1 if my husband is bald and cross-eyed1 he has a heart of gold4 ,true love is not blind1 but with a deep1 keen insight looks through the encasing garment of human imperfections1 and sees within the divine ego1 and because it recognizes the true inner self that is worthy1 hopeth all things1 believeth all things1 endureth all things1 and never faileth4 ,,the ,,end4 ,offices of ,publication ,,in ,,the ,,united ,,states4 ,the ,vir ,publishing ,company1 #bjj-bad ,n4 ,fifteenth ,st41 ,philadelphia1 ,pa4 ,,in ,,england4 ,the ,vir ,publishing ,company1 #d ,imperial ,b'l'd'g's1 ,ludgate ,circus1 ,london1 ,e4,c4 ,,in ,,canada4 ,ryerson ,press1 ,cor4 ,queen and ,john ,sts4 ,toronto1 ,ontario4 ,what a ,young ,girl ,ought to ,know4 ,,by ,,mrs4 ,,mary ,,wood-,,allen1 ,m4,d4 ,condensed ,table of ,contents ,,part ,i ,the origin of life--,one plan in all forms of life--,how plants grow from the seed--,they feed on the soil1 grow and mature--,how the plant reproduces itself--,the flower1 the pollen1 the pod1 the seed--,the office of bees and insects in fertilization4 ,,part ,,ii ,fishes and their young--,the parent fishes and the baby fishes--,the seeds of plants and eggs of fishes1 birds and animals--,how fishes never know their baby offspring--,warm blooded animals--,lessons from birds--,their nests1 eggs and little ones4 ,,part ,,iii ,animals and their young--,the place which ,god has prepared for their young--,beginning their independent life--,human babies the most helpless and dependent of all creatures--,the relations of parent and child--,the child a part of each parent--,heredity and its lessons4 ,,part ,,iv ,the value of good health--,the care of the body--,the body a temple to be kept holy--,girls should receive their instruction from their mothers--,the body the garment which the soul wears--,effects of thoughts upon life and character--,value of good companions1 good books and good influences--,what it is to become a woman4 ,what a ,young ,girl ,ought to ,know ,,what ,,eminent ,,people ,,say ,francis ,e4 ,willard1 ,,ll4,d4 ,i do earnestly hope that this book1 founded on a strictly scientific but not forgetting a strong ethical basis1 may be well known and widely read by the dear girls in their teens and the young women in their homes4 ,mrs4 ,elizabeth ,b4 ,grannis ,these facts ought to be judiciously brought to the intelligence of every child whenever it asks questions concerning its own origin4 ,mrs4 ,harriet ,lincoln ,coolidge ,it is a book that mothers and daughters ought to own4 ,mrs4 ,katharine ,l4 ,stevenson ,the book is strong1 direct1 pure1 as healthy as a breeze from the mountain-top4 ,mrs4 ,isabelle ,mac,donald ,alden1 ,pansy ,it is just the book needed to teach what most people do not know how to teach1 being scientific1 simple and plain-spoken1 yet delicate4 ,miss ,grace ,h4 ,dodge ,i know of no one who writes or speaks on these great subjects with more womanly touch than ,mrs4 ,wood-,allen1 nor with deeper reverence4 ,when ,i listen to her ,i feel that she has been inspired by a ,higher ,power4 ,ira ,d4 ,sankey ,every mother in the land that has a daughter should secure for her a copy of ,what a ,young ,girl ,ought to ,know4 ,it will save the world untold sorrow4 ,what a ,young ,wife ,ought to ,know4 ,,by ,,mrs4 ,,emma ,f4,a4 ,,drake1 ,m4,d4 ,condensed ,table of ,contents ,,husband ,,and ,,home ,the choice of a husband--,one worthy of both love and respect--,real characteristics necessary--,purity vs4 wild oats--,what shall a young wife expect to be to her husband8--,his equal1 but not his counterpart--,his helpmeet ,wifehood and motherhood--,should keep pace with his mental growth--,trousseau and wedding presents--,the foolish and ruinous display at weddings--,wedding presents and unhappiness--,wise choice of furniture--,the best adornments for the home4 ,,the ,,marital ,,relations ,the marital state should be the most holy of sanctuaries--,its influence upon character--,modesty--,reproduction the primal purpose--,love's highest plane--,the right and wrong of marriage--,the wrongdoings of good men4 ,,parenthood ,preparation for motherhood--,motherhood the glory of womanhood--,maternity productive of health--,clothing--,exercise--,baths1 etc41 etc4--,the child the expression of the mother's thoughts--,the five stages of prenatal culture4 ,,preparation ,,for ,,fatherhood ,questions which test the fitness of young men for marriage--,many young men of startling worth--,effects of bad morals and wayward habits--,tobacco and ,alcoholics--,attaining the best--,the father reproduced in his children4 ,,antenatal ,,infanticide ,the moral responsibility of parents in heredity--,the mother's investment of moulding power--,parents workers together with ,god--,ailments during expectant motherhood--,maternity a normal state--,development of the foetus--,minuteness of the germ of human life--,changes which take place--,life present the moment conception takes place--,the sin of tampering with the work of the ,infinite4 ,,the ,,little ,,one ,baby's wardrobe--,the question that comes with fluttering signs of life--,importance of wise choice of material and style of dress--,choice of physician and nurse of real consequence--,the birth chamber--,surroundings and after-care of the mother--,the care of the baby--,the responsibilities and joys of motherhood--,the mother the baby's teacher--,common ailments of children and how to treat them--,guarding against vice--,the training of children--,body building--,helps for mothers4 ,what a ,young ,wife ,ought to ,know ,,what ,,eminent ,,people ,,say ,mrs4 ,margaret ,e4 ,sangster ,joyfully ,i send you my unqualified endorsement of the excellent book1 ',what a ,young ,wife ,ought to ,know4' ,i wish every young and perplexed wife might read its pages4 ,charles ,h4 ,parkhurst1 ,d4,d4 ,it handles delicate matters in a manner as firm as it is delicate1 and dignifies even what is common by the purity of the sentiment and nobility of intent with which it is treated4 ,marietta ,holly 7,josiah ,allen's ,wife7 ,it is an excellent book2 if every young wife of to-day would read it and lay its lessons to heart it would make the to-morrow much easier and happier for all of ,eve's daughters4 ,w4,g4 ,sperry1 ,m4,d4 ,young wives1 for whom this book is intended1 wilt receive great benefits from heeding its wise words4 ,it is good for incitement1 guidance1 restraint4 ,mrs4 ,joseph ,cook ,it illuminates the ,holy of ,holies in the most sacred of earthly relationships with the white light of truth and purity4 ,julia ,holmes ,smith1 ,m4,d4 ,be sure ,dr4 ,drake's book is part of your daughter's outfit4 ,i have never read anything which so thoroughly met the use it was designed for as this volume4 ,j4,p4 ,sutherland1 ,m4,d4 ,a subject difficult to treat has been handled by ,dr4 ,drake with delicacy1 earnestness and straightforwardness4 ,it is a practical book destined to do good4 ,what a ,woman of ,forty-five ,ought to ,know4 ,,by ,,mrs4 ,,emma ,f4,a4 ,,drake1 ,m4,d4 ,condensed ,table of ,contents ,,knowledge ,,of ,,climacteric ,,necessary ,why women are not prepared to meet the climacteric--,the fear that unnerves many--,error of views concerning ,change of ,life--,correct teaching stated--,influence of medical literature--,three periods in a woman's life--,relation of early habits to later aches and ills--,the menopause--,conditions which influence the period of the climacteric--,the age at-which it usually appears--,effects of heredity--,childless women--,mothers of large families--,effects of different occupations--,excesses4 ,,heralds ,,of ,,change--,,diseases ,,and ,,remedies ,mental states during menopause--,change in blood currents--,flushes1 chilliness1 dizziness1 etc4--,nervous symptoms--,disturbed mental and nervous equilibriums--,nature as woman's helper--,troublesome ailments--,mental troubles considered--,suggested help--,cancer--,benefits named--,apprehensions dispelled--,how to banish worry--,simplifying daily duty--,an eminent physician's prescription--,a word to single women--,reluctance of unmarried women to meet the menopause--,how to prolong one's youth--,dress during this period--,the mother ,at ,sea--,guarding against becoming gloomy--,effects of patent medicine advertising--,drug fiends--,lustful indulgence4 ,,what ,,both ,,husband ,,and ,,wife ,,should ,,remember ,slights and inattentions keenly felt by her--,need of patience--,a word of private counsel--,value of little attentions--,wife's duty to her husband--,holding husband's affections--,making home attractive--,unselfishness4 ,,auto-,,suggestion ,,and ,,other ,,suggestions ,influence of mind over body--,the mind as a curative agent--,how to rise out of depression--,mental philosophy and physical betterment--,relation of health to sight--,care of the teeth--,the hair--,constipation--,self cure--,choice of foods--,exercise--,physical development--,exercise of mind and soul4 ,what a ,woman of ,forty-five ,ought to ,know ,,praised ,,by ,,the ,,press ,will dispel apprehensions aroused by groundless forebodings4--,reformed ,church ,messenger4 ,if the hygienic advice in this book is followed it will lengthen the lives of women and make their closing years the happiest and most useful of all1--,herald and ,presbyter4 ,in no line of literature1 perhaps1 is such a book so much needed4--,new ,haven ,leader4 ,those who peruse the book only from prurient curiosity will be disappointed4--,cleveland ,world4 ,should be read by every woman nearing and passing middle life4--,pittsburg ,gazette4 ,written in that wholesome sympathetic manner characteristic of all the books in the ,self and ,sex ,series4--,cleveland ,daily ,world4 ,full of most admirable practical advice1 and it is written in a sympathetic manner which is the outcome of oneness of sex between the author and those whom she addresses4--,syracuse ,herald4 ,there are some things that a woman of forty-five does not know--things which she regards with more or less terror in the expectation--which terror it is the object of ,mrs4 ,drake to dispel4--,rochester ,herald4 ,there is nothing in the book that could not be proclaimed from the house-tops1 and there is everything in it that intelligent and thoughtful women should read and keep for their daughters to read when the proper time comes4--,newark ,daily ,advertiser4 ,a ,new ,book by ,charles ,frederic ,goss ,more ,important than the ,simple or the ,strenuous ,life is the ,home ,life ,,husband1 ,,wife ,,and ,,home ,by ,,charles ,,frederic ,,goss ,author of ,the ,redemption of ,david ,corson1 etc41 etc4 ,this is the kind of book that one desires to read aloud to all the family4 ,its captivating stories1 humorous often1 pathetic at times1 will brighten one's face into a broad smile or bring the tear unbidden4 ,the stories are the windows that ,dr4 ,goss opens upon the practical themes that brighten every page of this winsome book4 ,it will drive away the blues and make a cross and glum person look pleasant and feel pleasant4 ,the divorce courts would be forced to go out of business if its blessed home truths were put into practice4 ,,enthusiastically ,,endorsed ,,by ,,the ,,press ,there are nearly fifty short chapters4 ,it boxes the compass of its subject1 skipping no point4 ,wide experience and keen observation of real life yield material which is treated with plain1 common sense1 good wit and no lack of humor4 ,thus it hits the need of the average man and woman1 and all others that reckon themselves above the average4 ,the whole book is pervaded by strong and pure moral feeling1 and the chapters are well dotted with pithy anecdotes and amusing stories4--,the ,outlook4 ,these talks are practical1 pungent and full of the sap of experience4--,bookseller1 ,newsdealer and ,stationer4 ,the call of the hour is for such a book as this to be read and heeded4 ,every chapter is on a subject bound to come up sooner or later1 and discussed plainly but from a high ,christian standpoint4--,religious ,telescope4 ,this book is a wholesome1 exceedingly digestible oatmeal of literature which is better for the mental and moral stomach than many a higher-flavored repast4--,st4 ,louis ,republic4 ,price1 #a4ej net1 post free ,a ,,new ,,devotional ,,book ,faces ,toward the ,light ,by ,sylvanus ,stall1 ,d4,d4 ,every phase of the ,christian life--its joys and sorrows1 its temptations and triumphs--is treated in a reverent and deeply spiritual manner that is sure to prove helpful and inspiring to every reader4 ,,some ,,chapters ,,in ,,the ,,book ,glory ,after ,gloom4 ,the ,dangerous ,hour4 ,the ,concealed ,future4 ,gleaning for ,christ4 ,hunger and ,health4 ,direction and ,destiny4 ,god of the ,valleys4 ,coins and ,christians4 ,reserved ,blessings4 ,comfort in ,sorrow4 ,the ,better ,service4 ,not ,knowing ,whither4 ,good1 but ,good for ,nothing4 ,no ,easy ,place4 ,the ,dead ,prayer ,office4 ,how ,god ,reveals ,himself4 ,starting ,late4 ,source of ,power4 ,toiling at a ,heavy ,tow4 ,what ,he ,gave and ,what ,he ,got4 ,vacation ,lessons4 ,wheat or ,weeds4 ,the ,christian's ,power4 ,disclosures in the ,cloud4 ,healing and ,living ,waters4 ,the ,concealed ,future4 ,suspended ,animation4 ,the ,source of ,power4 ,lessons from the ,leaves4 ,etc4 ,just ,published4 ,new ,revised ,edition4 ,,five-,,minute ,,object ,,sermons ,,to ,,children ,through ,eye-,gate and ,ear-,gate ,into the ,city of ,child-,soul ,by ,,sylvanus ,,stall1 ,d4,d4 ,a book for preachers1 teachers1 parents and all interested in the training and culture of children4 ,,enthusiastically ,,commended ,these little delightful sermons are models at point and brevity1 and reach the little hearts through the eye and ear4--,christian ,observer4 ,boys and girls will devour every one of them with relish1 whilst we children of a larger growth will be children again4--,lutheran ,observer4 ,these sermons cannot help being suggestive to every preacher who would interest children1 and they also have a much wider scope than for the pulpit4 ,the book should be eagerly sought by all ,sunday-,school ,teachers1 leaders of children's meetings and the clergymen of all churches4--,wesleyan ,methodist4 ,dr4 ,stall has the happy faculty of presenting to children1 sober truths in a manner interesting to them4 ,the author's object is to implant in the child's mind seeds of truth and love1 nobleness and justice1 and all the virtues that go to make a manly boy and womanly girl1 as well as a ,god-loving child4--,boston ,times4 ,talks to the ,king's ,children ,second ,series of ,five-,minute ,object ,sermons ,by ,,sylvanus ,,stall1 ,d4,d4 ,invaluable in ,,the ,,home1 ,,the ,,sunday ,,school1 ,,the ,,pastor',s ,,library1 ,,the ,,mission ,,field ,a ,,children',s ,,preacher ,dr4 ,stall has few equals in this particular line of writing4 ,he shows a fine reserve in not allowing the object used to overshadow the truth taught4--,nashville ,christian ,advocate4 ,the ,rev4 ,dr4 ,sylvanus ,stall is one of the best preachers for young people in the ,american pulpit4 ,his ',five-minute ,object ,sermons' to children was an ideal book in its class4 ,the present volume is a second series of the same kind1 and will be found to have no less point and charm than the volume published two years ago4--,new ,york ,independent4 ,the author is well-known in this community1 having been a pastor in ,baltimore ,city for several years4 ,he is an adept certainly in furnishing bright1 interesting talks to children4 ,he writes with a vigorous1 irresistible pen4--,baltimore ,methodist4 ,,the ,,children ,,good ,,judges ,those who have had the genuine pleasure and profit of ,dr4 ,stall's first series of children's sermons will welcome this second volume4 ,we have read them with the children and commend them very highly4 ,the children know a good sermon when they hear it4--,reformed ,church ,messenger4 ,irresistibly interesting1 especially to the young mind4--,christian ,work4 ,,just ,,published ,two ,important ,booklets ,by ,mrs4 ,adolphe ,hoffmann1 who is widely known in ,france1 ,germany and ,switzerland as a talented writer1 lecturer and educator4 ,she is also prominent in the great reform and educational movements in ,europe4 ,the ,social ,duty of ,our ,daughters ,a mother's talk with mothers and their grown daughters4 ,,by ,,mrs4 ,,adolphe ,,hoffmann ,an affectionate and confidential talk to mothers and their daughters on the responsibility1 power and maternal duties of woman4 ,these counsels should do much to dignify and elevate parenthood to the place intended by the ,creator4 ,before ,marriage ,a mother's parting counsel to her son on the eve of his marriage4 ,,by ,,mrs4 ,,adolphe ,,hoffmann ,this booklet embodies the counsel of an earnest mother who imparts to her son the information essential to the happiness both of her son and his bride4 ,unique ,original ,uplifting ,god's ,minute ,a book of #cfe daily prayers1 #fj seconds long1 arranged from ,january #ast to ,december #cast1 a prayer to each page1 written expressly for this book by the most eminent preachers and laymen in the ,english-speaking world4 ,at the top of each page is a selection of ,scripture on encouragement to prayer4 ,prayers by ,drs4 ,wilfred ,t4 ,grenfell1 ,w4,w4 ,keen2 ,reverend ,doctors1 ,f4,b4 ,meyer1 ,john ,clifford1 ,james ,m4 ,gray1 ,timothy ,stone1 ,david ,james ,burrell1 ,washington ,gladden1 ,hugh ,black2 ,rev4 ,w4 ,griffith ,thomas2 ,bishops ,w4,a4 ,quayle1 ,charles ,e4 ,woodcock2 ,president ,e4,y4 ,mullins1 ,mrs4 ,alice ,hegan ,rice1 author of ,mrs4 ,wiggs of the ,cabbage ,patch4 ,clinton ,scollard contributes an original poem4 ,full cloth bound1 printed on thin ,rag ,feather-weight paper1 #chd pages4 ,specially priced at #fj cents a copy1 cloth2 in leatherette1 #a4jj2 in art leather1 #a4ej4 ,,the ,,vir ,,publishing ,,company ,,philadelphia1 ,,pa41 ,u4,s4,a43 #bjj ,n4 ,,fifteenth ,,st4 ,,london3 #g1 ,,imperial ,,arcade1 ,,ludgate ,,circus1 ,e4,c4 ,,canada3 ,,ryerson ,,press1 ,,queen ,,and ,,john ,,streets ,illustration ,touchstones of ,success ,,written ,,by #afj ,present ,day ,men of ,achievement ,especially for ,this ,book ,opinions of ,great ,business ,men ,from a ,california ,national ,bank3 ,please find enclosed order for five copies of ',touchstones of ,success1' which we will keep in the bank for the present and future young men to read at their leisure time at the expense of the bank4 ,from a ,widely ,known ,california ,engineer3 ,i enclose check for #aj4jj for eight copies of ,touchstones of ,success'4 ,from a ,big ,business ,man1 ,boston1 ,mass3 ,this is a splendid book for young men and it ought to be of great value to them4 ,from a ,prominent ,manufacturer in ,detroit3 ,please send six copies of the book4 ,i want to distribute them among some of the employees in our office4 ,from a ,great ,manufacturing ,concern of ,st4 ,louis3 ,i am passing copies of the book among the boys in our office because it contains some wonderful messages4 ,from a ,widely ,known ,new ,york ,jurist3 ,i am enclosing my check for #be4jj1 which makes #ej4jj that ,i have invested in extra copies of this book1 so you know what ,i think of it4 ,price1 full cloth ,bound1 #a4be net per copy ,,the ,,publishers3 ,the ,,vir ,,publishing ,,company #bjj-bad3 ,,north #ae,,th ,,street1 ,,philadelphia1 ,,pa4 ,a ,book ,about ,our ,wonderful ,bodies ,marvels of ,our ,bodily ,dwelling ,by ,,mrs4 ,,mary ,,wood-,,allen1 ,m4,d4 ,author of ,what a ,young ,girl ,ought to ,know1 etc4 ,introduction by ,,sylvanus ,,stall4 ,d4,d4 ,in the form of an allegory--comparing each part of the human body to its counterpart in a dwelling1 the author has succeeded in making this human study as interesting as a ,sherlock ,holmes detective story4 ,she has laid under contribution the best scientific authorities and this book will be found abreast of the ,science of today4 ,cloth with cover in four colors1 stamped in gold4 #cbh pages with fine half-tone pictures and #gb line drawings4 ,a ,marvelous ,book ,upon a ,marvelous ,subject ,,the ,,vir ,,publishing ,,company ,,philadelphia4 ,,pa41 ,u4,s4,a43 #bjj ,n4 #aeth ,street ,,london3 #g1 ,imperial ,arcade1 ,ludgate ,circus1 ,e4,c4 ,,toronto3 ,ryerson ,press1 #bi ,richmond ,street4 ,w4 ,bible ,selections for ,daily ,devotion ,selected and ,arranged by ,,sylvanus ,,stall1 ,d4,d4 ,this book brings to family worship #cfe passages best suited in character and length to such service4 ,it is intended to relieve the father or mother of perplexity and apprehension concerning the passages to be read1 and to enable them to bring to the service that frame of mind indispensable to the conduct of real worship4 ,the ,gospel narrative is chronologically arranged4 ,the text is from the ,authorized version1 while the verses are merged into paragraphs as in the ,revised edition4 ,difficult words are pronounced4 ,the selections are suited not only for use in family worship1 but for the chapel service of colleges1 universities1 and by teachers in the opening services of public schools4 ,readings are from three to five minutes in length4 ,cloth4 #fhf pages4 ,price1 #a4ej net4 ,,the ,,vir ,,publishing ,,company ,,philadelphia1 ,,pa41 ,u4,s4,a43 #bjj ,n4 #aeth ,street ,,london3 #g1 ,imperial ,arcade1 ,ludgate ,circus1 ,e4,c4 ,,toronto3 ,ryerson ,press1 ,queen and ,john ,streets 99 99 99 99 99