,transcriber's note3 ,mrs4 ,hungerford  
7,margaret ,wolfe ,hamilton7            
7#ahee8-ahig7 ,how to marry well 7from  
,the ,ladies' ,home ,journal vol4 ,,vii 
,no ,,iv ,philadelphia ,march #ahij     
p4#f7     ,the ,duchess   ,how to marry 
well   ,some girls start in life with   
the idea that to snub the opposite sex  
is the surest way of bringing it to     
their feet4 ,all such imaginings are    
vain6 ,a man may be amused by the       
coquettish impertinences of a girl1 he  
may even be attracted by it to a certain
 extent1 but in the end he feels        
repulsion1 and unless it be the         
exception that proves the rule1 hastens 
away presently to lay his name and      
fortune at the disposal of some more    
modest girl4  ,to marry well is the note
 that strikes more clearly on the brain 
of the dbutante's mother than on the ear
 of that interesting person herself4 ,a 
girl starting in life feels all the     
world is before her where to choose4    
,she gives1 indeed1 too little thought  

to the subject4 ,she comes fresh from   
the schoolroom into the crowded         
drawing-room1 thinking only how best to 
enjoy herself4 ,the thought of marriage1
 if near1 is yet so far1 that it hardly 
interferes with her pleasure in the     
waltz1 the theatre1 or the eternal      
afternoon tea4  ,it is a pity that the  
educational standard fixed for young    
girls now-a-days is of so low an order4 
,a smattering of ,french1 a word or two 
of ,german1 an idea of what music really
 means1 as gained from a three years'   
acquaintance with scales and movements1 
and songs without words--this is all6   
,there is1 of course1 a good deal of    
reading with scientific masters that    
serves only to puzzle the brains half   
given to the matter in hand1 and then   
the girl is emancipated from the        
schoolroom1 and let loose upon society  
to be settled in life1 says ,mamma4     
,some of these girls do marry           
well--surprisingly so6 ,but they are    
amongst the few4 ,as for the rest1 they 

make their own lives and their husband's
 a burden to them4 ,without having time 
given them to mature their ideas1 these 
latter are hurried into matrimony while 
still children1 without having formed a 
conception of the terrible              
responsibility that attaches itself to  
every human soul who agrees to join     
itself to another4  ,these latter do not
 make good matches in any one sense of  
the word4 ,the struggling barrister1 the
 clerk1 the curate1 the brainless       
masher--such are their prey2 and if they
 make richer prizes than these1 still   
the match cannot be called good2        
presently there is dis-union as the     
clever husband finds the pretty but     
nonsensical wife utterly unable to      
follow him through the paths of life    
that ,fate has opened out to him4  ,it  
is a common idea that men care only for 
beauty1 and are to be attracted by no   
lesser virtue--if virtue it may be      
called4 ,this is a most gross error that
 even the earliest of our thinkers has  

laid bare4 ,what says ,thomas ,carew3   
,but a smooth and steadfast mind1       
,gentle thoughts and calm desires1      
,hearts with equal love combined1       
,kindle never-dying fires3--   ,where   
these are not1 ,i despise   ,lovely     
cheeks or lips or eyes4   ,we see1 then1
 that there are things more desirable to
 the masculine mind than the mere charms
 of the flesh4 ,to be beautiful is a    
good thing1 for which we should thank   
,nature--to be attractive1 morally1     
rather than physically1 is1 however1 a  
thing for which we should thank ,nature 
even more1 if she be good enough to have
 endowed us with that lasting quality4  
,let a girl learn once for all that her 
little schoolgirl airs and graces can   
please only the unintellectual of her   
set1 that to make a good match1 in the  
most noble sense of the word1 is to form
 herself to be the equal of the man she 
marries1 and all will be right4 ,i speak
 advisedly1 because a girl who has the  
courage to so plan out her future is    

very unlikely to wed with any save the  
most desirable of the other sex4  ,but  
what is a good match8 ,does it mean a   
man with money only1 or position only1  
or intellect only1 or only a capacity   
for being good humored under each and   
every circumstance8 ,the common         
acceptation of the term means a man in  
such a moneyed position that he can     
place his wife considerably above that  
of her friends1 so far as money goes4   
,and that is a very good thing too1 so  
far as it goes4 ,but to be rich is not  
everything6 ,the merely sordid1 the     
entirely uneducated can rise to this    
height1 but surely to make a good match 
one's husband should be the possessor of
 something more than money4 ,he should  
be cultured1 refined1 intelligent1 and  
therefore the girl who wishes to mate   
with him1 should take care to be        
cultured and refined herself4 ,half the 
bad matches in the world are caused     
either by the educated women marrying   
the man thoroughly beneath her in all   

moral qualities1 or the man who has     
spent his life cultivating his mind1    
falling a slave to the petty fascination
 of a pretty woman who has only beauty  
to give him--nothing more6  ,what girls 
should never forget is to be neat6 ,not 
primly so1 but daintily so4 ,the girl   
well got up1 with irreproachable gloves1
 and shoes that fit1 though her gown be 
only cotton1 yet if it be well turned   
out1 may compete with the richest1 while
 the slovenly dresser1 who scorns or    
forgets to give attention to details1 is
 passed over by the discontented eye1   
though her gown may be a masterpiece of 
,worth4  ,a girl should learn to put her
 gown on properly4 ,no creature living  
takes more heed of externals than your  
orthodox man4 ,he may not know the      
price1 color1 or material of your       
clothes1 but he will know to a nicety   
whether you are well or badly gowned4   
,one special point ,i would impress upon
 the girl who desires1 7as all girls do7
 to range themselves well1 to make a    

good marriage--is to be gentle4 ,the    
craze for vivacity1 for the free and    
easy style that border so closely on the
 manners of the demi monde that         
distinguished the society of ten years  
ago has providentially died a natural   
death4 ,now-a-days1 men are sensible    
enough to look for comfort in their     
married lives4 ,and surely the knowledge
 that one's future wife has a heart as  
tender as it is sympathetic should1 and 
does1 go far to arrange a man's decision
 of who shall be the partner of his     
daily life4  ,i was much struck by a    
little incident that occurred last year1
 and helped to prove the truth of this  
argument4 ,i1 amongst others1 belonging 
to a large party who were waiting at a  
railway station for the train that was  
to carry us down to a garden party at   
one of the many lovely places on the    
,thames1 saw an old man1 a decrepit     
creature1 bowed and palsied1 making his 
way to where the third-class compartment
 would be4 ,his arms were full of       

bundles of various sizes4 ,coming near a
 truck1 the old man1 who was half blind1
 marched against the edge of it1 and all
 his little bundles fell helplessly to  
the ground4 ,most of the young people   
belonging to our party broke into an    
irresistible laugh4 ,they were not so   
much to be blamed4 ,youth will see      
amusement in even trifles1 but there was
 one amongst us who did not laugh4 ,the 
old man's chagrin seemed to touch her4  
,she went quickly forward1 and as he    
groped nervously for his parcels she    
lifted them one by one1 and laid them in
 his arms4 ,she was not a strictly      
pretty girl1 but there was dignity and  
sweetness both in her face and in her   
action4 ,i noticed that a young man1 one
 of our party1 watched her intently4 ,he
 was rich1 titled1 one of the matches of
 the ,london season4 ,supreme admiration
 showed itself in his face4 ,he demanded
 an introduction4 ,i gave it4 ,in six   
months they were man and wife4 ,she made
 a good match1 and so did he1 in every  

sense of the word4  ,there is one last  
remark1 however1 and a vital one1 that  
,i must make4 ,no match1 however        
distinguished either by money or        
position1 can be called a good one      
unless love1 who is a great ,master1 be 
the very core of it4