,pussy and ,doggy ,tales ,pussy and ,doggy ,tales ,by ,e4 ,nesbit ,with ,illustrations by ,l4 ,kemp-,welch ,london ,j4 ,m4 ,dent ,co4 ,aldine ,house #bi #cj ,bedford ,street #ahii ,w4,c4 ,printed by ,,ballantyne1 ,,hanson ,,co4 ,at the ,ballantyne ,press ,contents ,pussy ,tales ,,page ,,too ,,clever ,,by ,,half #c ,,the ,,white ,,persian #af ,a ,,powerful ,,friend #bf ,a ,,silly ,,question #dj ,,the ,,selfish ,,pussy #dg ,,meddlesome ,,pussy #ed ,,nine ,,lives #fb ,doggy ,tales ,,page ,,tinker #gi ,,rats6 #ie ,,the ,,tables ,,turned #ajj ,a ,,noble ,,dog #ajh ,,the ,,dyer',s ,,dog #aad ,,the ,,vain ,,setter #abc ,list of ,illustrations ,,page ,i may have no nose1 old man1 but ,i smell rats ,frontispiece ,page ,nurse dried the poor1 dear1 cruelly-used kittens a little #aa ,she was very beautiful #ag ,i who superintended the writing of his letters #bc ,so much better to go to sleep in front of it #bg ,now the back of a cow is the last place where you would look for a cat #cc ,i don't believe a word of it #dc ,i was picked up in the street by a child #di ,the dog saw me off #ec ,seeing the tea set out1 ,i got on the table #ei ,sitting up1 and beginning to wash the kitten's face very hard indeed #gc ,the man's arm dragged through the window-pane1 and ,tinker hanging on to his fingers #hi ,it was a magnificent fight #ajf ,he pulled her out some ten yards down the stream #aaa ,sat in the sun on the dyer's doorstep #aag ,i took the first prize #abg ,pussy ,tales ,too ,clever by ,half ,,tell us a story1 mother1 said the youngest kitten but three4 ,you've heard all my stories1 said the mother cat1 sleepily turning over in the hay4 ,then make a new one1 said the youngest kitten1 so pertly that ,mrs4 ,buff boxed her ears at once--but she laughed too4 ,did you ever hear a cat laugh8 ,people say that cats often have occasion to do it4 ,i do know one story1 she said2 but ,i'm not sure that it's true1 though it was told me by a most respectable brindled gentleman1 a great friend of my dear mother's4 ,he said he was a second cousin twenty-nine times removed of ,mrs4 ,tabby ,white1 the lady the story is about4 ,oh1 do tell it1 said all the kittens1 sitting up very straight and looking at their mother with green anxious eyes4 ,very well1 she said kindly2 only if you interrupt ,i shall leave off4 ,so there was silence in the barn1 except for ,mrs4 ,buff's voice and the soft sound of pleased purring which the kittens made as they listened to the enchanting tale4 99 99 99 99 99 ,mrs4 ,tabby ,white seems to have been as clever a cat as ever went rat-catching in a pair of soft-soled shoes4 ,she always knew just where a mouse would peep out of the wainscot1 and she had her soft-sharp paw on him before he had time to know that he was not alone in the room4 ,she knew how to catch nice breakfasts for herself and her children1 a trick ,i will teach you1 my dears1 when the spring comes2 she used to lie quite quietly among the ivy on the wall1 and then take the baby birds out of the nest when the grown-up birds had gone to the grub-shop4 ,mrs4 ,tabby ,white was very clever1 as ,i said--so clever that presently she was not satisfied with being at the very top of the cat profession4 ',cat-people have more sense than human people1 of course1' she said to herself2 'but still there are some things one might learn from them4 ,i must watch and see how they do things4' ,so next morning when the cook gave ,mrs4 ,tabby ,white her breakfast1 she noticed that cook poured the milk out of a jug into a saucer4 ,that afternoon ,tabby felt thirsty1 but instead of putting her head into the jug and drinking in the usual way1--you know--she tilted up the jug to pour the milk out as she had seen the cook do4 ,but cats' paws1 though they are so strong to catch rats and mice and birds1 are too weak to hold big brown jugs4 ,the nasty deceitful jug fell off the dresser and broke itself4 ',just to spite me1 ,i do believe1' said ,mrs4 ,tabby4 ,and the milk was all spilled4 ',now how on earth could that jug have been broken8' said cook1 when she came in4 ',it must have been the cat1' said the kitchenmaid2 and she was quite right1 but nobody believed her4 ,then ,mrs4 ,tabby ,white noticed that human people slept in big soft-cushioned white beds1 instead of sleeping on the kitchen hearth-rug1 or in the barn1 like cat people4 ,so she said to her children one evening-- ',my dears1 we are going to move into a new house4' ,and the kittens were delighted1 and they all went upstairs very quietly1 and crept into the very best human bed4 ,but unfortunately that bed had been got ready for a human uncle to sleep in2 and when he found the cats there he turned them out1 not gently1 and threw boots at them till they fled1 pale with fright to the ends of their pretty tails4 ,and next morning he told the ,mistress of the house that horrid ,,cats had been in his bed1 and he vowed that he would never pass another night under a roof where such things were possible4 ,mrs4 ,tabby ,white was very glad--because no lady can wish for the visits of a person who throws boots at her4 ,but the ,mistress of the house said sadly1 ',oh1 ,tabby6--you have lost us a fortune6' ,and ,tabby for all her cleverness didn't understand what the ,mistress meant1 but went on purring proudly1 and wondering what clever thing she could do next4 ,and ,i don't know what it meant either1 so don't you interrupt with silly questions4 ',i think we ought to wear shoes1' was the next thing ,mrs4 ,tabby ,white said2 but all the human shoes were too big for her4 ,however1 there was a nice pair of salmon-coloured kid shoes1 quite new1 belonging to the human child's big doll--and ,mrs4 ,tabby ,white put them on her eldest kitten's little browny feet4 ',now1 ,brindle1' she said 7he was named after the gentleman who told me the story71 'you are grander than any kitten ever was before4' ,and at first ,brindle felt pleased--then he tried to feel pleased--then he knew he wasn't pleased at all4 ,then the shoes began to hurt him horribly1 so he mewed sadly2 and ,mrs4 ,tabby ,white boxed his ears softly--as mother cats do2 you know how ,i mean6 ,but when she was asleep he took off the pink shoes and bit them to pieces4 ,and ,nurse slapped him for it4 ,poor ,mrs4 ,tabby ,white was very miserable when she saw her son being slapped3 for it is one thing to box your son's ears 7softly1 as mother cats do2 you know how ,i mean71 and quite another to see another person do it--heavily1 as is the way with nursemaids4 ,but the last and greatest effort ,mrs4 ,tabby ,white made to imitate human manners was one ,saturday night4 ,she saw the human child have its bath before the nursery fire1 with hot water1 pink soap1 dry towels1 and much fussing1 and she said to herself1 ',why should ,i waste hours every day in washing my children with my little white paws and my little pink tongue1 when this human child can be made clean in ten minutes with this big bath4 ,if ,i had more time ,i could learn to be cleverer1 and ,i should end by being the most wonderful ,cat in all the world4' ,so she sat1 and watched1 and waited4 ,when the human child was in bed and asleep1 ,nurse went down to her supper1 leaving the bath to be cleared away later1 for it was a hot supper of baked onions and toasted cheese1 and if you don't go to that supper directly it is ready1 you may as well not go at all1 for it won't be worth eating--at least so ,i have heard the kitchenmaid say4 ,mrs4 ,tabby ,white waited till she heard the last of ,nurse's steps on the stairs below1 and then she put both her cat-children into the tub1 and washed them with rose-scented soap and a ,turkey sponge4 ,at first they thought it very good fun1 but presently the soap got in their eyes and they were frightened of the sponge1 and they cried1 mewing piteously1 to be taken out4 ,i don't know how she could have done it1 ,i couldn't have treated a kitten of mine like that4 ,when she took them out1 ,mrs4 ,tabby tried to dry them with the soft towel1 but somehow catskin is not so easy to dry as child-skin1 and the little cats began to shiver1 and moan3 ',oh1 mother1 we were so nice and warm1 and now we are so cold6 ,why is it8 ,what have we done8 ,were we naughty8' ',drat the cats6' said ,nurse1 when she came up from supper1 and found ,mrs4 ,tabby ,white trying to warm her kittens against her own comfortable fur2 'if they haven't tumbled in the bath6' ,nurse dried the poor1 dear1 cruelly-used kittens a little 7her hands were bigger than ,mrs4 ,tabby's1 so she could do it better71 and put them in a basket with flannel1 and next day ,tabby-,kit was quite well1 though rather ragged looking2 but ,brindle had taken a chill1 and for days he hung between life and death4 ,poor ,mrs4 ,tabby was like a wild cat with anxiety1 and when at last ,brindle was well again 7or nearly1 for he always had a slight cough after that71 ,mrs4 ,tabby ,white said to her children1 ',my darlings1 ,i was wrong1 ,i was a silly old cat4' ',no1' purred the cat-children1 'darling mother1 you were always the best of cats4' ,mrs4 ,tabby kissed them both1 for of course any one would be pleased that her children should think her the best of cats1 but in her heart she knew well enough how silly she had been4 ,then she set about washing the kittens1 not with pink soap and white towel this time1 but with white paws and pink tongue in the good old-fashioned way4 99 99 99 99 99 ,thank you1 mother1 said all the kittens2 what a nice horrible story4 ,what is the moral8 asked the youngest kitten but three4 ,the moral1 said ,mrs4 ,buffy1 is1 ',there is such a thing as being too clever by half4' ,i'm not sure about the story being true1 but ,i know the moral is4 ,why1 it's nearly tea-time4 ,come along1 children1 and get your tea4 ,so they all crept quietly away to catch the necessary mice1 and the youngest was so afraid of being too clever by half1 that she would never have caught a mouse at all1 if her mother had not boxed her ears--softly1 as mother cats do2 you know how ,i mean6 ,the ,white ,persian ,i ,,was a handsome1 discreet1 middle-aged1 respectable1 responsible1 domesticated tabby cat4 ,i was humble4 ,i knew my place1 and kept it4 ,my place was the place nearest the fire in winter1 or close to the sunny window in summer4 ,there was nothing to trouble me--not so much as a fly in the cream1 or an error in the leaving of the cat's meat1 until some thoughtless person gave my master the white ,persian cat4 ,she was very beautiful in her soft1 foolish1 namby-pamby1 blue-eyed way4 ,of course1 she did not understand ,english1 and when they called ,puss1 puss1 she only ran under the sofa1 for she thought they were teasing her4 ,she was mistress only of two languages--,persian and cat-talk4 ,my master did not think of this4 ,he called her ,puss2 he called her ,pussy2 he called her ,tittums and ,pussy then2 and a thousand endearments that had formerly been lavished on me were vainly showered on this unresponsive stranger4 ,but when he found she was cold to all of them1 my master sighed4 ,poor thing6 he said2 she is deaf4 ,i sat by the bright fender1 and washed my face1 and sleeked my pretty paws1 and looked on4 ,my master gave up taking very much notice of the new cat4 ,but ,i had a fear that he might learn ,persian or cat-talk1 and make friends with her2 so ,i resolved that the best thing for me would be a complete change in the ,persian's behaviour--such a change as should make it impossible for her ever to be friends with him again2 so ,i said to her3 ,you wonder that our master looks coldly at you4 ,perhaps you don't know that in ,england a white cat is supposed to mew twenty times longer and to purr twenty times louder than a cat of any other colour8 ,oh1 thank you so much for telling me1 she said gratefully4 ,i didn't know4 ,as it happens1 ,i have a very good voice4 ,and the next time she wanted her milk1 she mewed in a voice you could have heard twenty miles away4 ,poor master was so astonished that he nearly dropped the saucer4 ,when she had finished the milk1 she jumped upon his knee1 and he began to stroke her4 ,she nearly gave herself a fit in her efforts to purr loud enough to please him4 ,at first he was pleased1 but when the purring got louder and louder1 the poor man put his hands to his ears and said1 ,oh dear6 oh dear6 this is worse than a whole hive of bees4 ,still he put her down gently1 and ,i congratulated her on having done so well4 ,she did better4 ,she was an affectionate person1 though foolish1 and in her anxiety to do what was expected of a cat of her colour in ,england1 she practised day and night4 ,her purr was already the loudest ,i have heard from any cat1 but she fancied she could improve her mewing2 and she mewed in the garden1 she mewed in the house1 she mewed at meals1 she mewed at prayers1 she mewed when she was hungry to show that she wanted food1 and she mewed when she had had it to show her gratitude4 ,poor thing1 said the master to a friend who had come to see him1 she is so deaf she can't hear the noise she makes4 ,of course1 ,i understood what he said1 but she hadn't yet picked up a word of ,english2 and if the master had begun to learn ,persian1 ,i don't suppose he had got much beyond the alphabet4 ,the ,persian's mew was rather feebler that day1 because she had a cold4 ,i don't think it's so bad1 said his friend4 ,if you really wanted to get rid of her1 she is very handsome2 she would take a prize anywhere4 ,she is yours1 said the master instantly2 and the strange gentleman took her away in a basket4 ,that evening it was ,i who sat on my master's knee--,i who superintended the writing of his letters on the green-covered writing table--,i who had all the milk that was left over from his tea4 ,in a few days he had a letter4 ,i read it when he laid it down2 and if you don't believe cats can read1 ,i can only say that it is just as easy to read a letter like the master's as it is to write a story like this4 ,the letter begged my master to take back the fair ,persian4 ,her howls1 the letter went on1 become worse and worse4 ,the poor creature is1 as you say1 too deaf to be tolerated4 ,my master wrote back instantly to say that he would rather be condemned to keep a dog than have the fair ,persian within his doors again4 ,then by return of post came a pitiful letter1 begging for help and mercy1 and the friend came again to tea4 ,i trembled lest my foreign rival should come back to live with me4 ,but she didn't4 ,the next morning my master took me on his knee1 and1 stroking me gently1 said-- ,ah1 ,tabbykins6 no more ,persians for us4 ,i have sent her to my deaf aunt4 ,she will be delighted with her--a most handsome present--and as they are both deaf1 the fair ,persian's shrieks will hurt nobody4 ,but ,i will have no more prize cats1 he said1 pouring out some cream for me in his own saucer4 ,you know how to behave2 ,i will never have any cat but you4 ,i do1 and he never has4 ,a ,powerful ,friend ,,my mother was the best of cats4 ,she washed us kittens all over every morning1 and at odd times during the day she would wash little bits of us1 say an ear1 or a paw1 or a tail-tip1 and she was very anxious about our education4 ,i am afraid ,i gave her a great deal of trouble1 for ,i was rather stout and heavy1 and did not take a very active or graceful part in the exercises which she thought good for us4 ,our gymnasium was the kitchen hearth-rug4 ,there was always a good fire in the grate1 and it seemed to me so much better to go to sleep in front of it than to run round after my own tail1 or even my mother's1 though1 of course1 that was a great honour4 ,as for running after the reel of cotton when the cook dropped it1 or playing with the tassel of the blind-cord1 or pretending that there were mice inside the paper bag which ,i knew to be empty1 ,i confess that ,i had no heart or imagination for these diversions4 ,of course1 you know best1 mother1 ,i used to say2 but it does seem to me a dreadful waste of time4 ,we might be much better employed4 ,how better employed8 asked my mother severely4 ,why1 ,i answered1 in eating or sleeping4 ,at first my mother used to box my ears1 and insist on my learning such little accomplishments as she thought necessary for my station in life4 ,you see1 she would say1 all this playing with tails and reels and balls of worsted is a preparation for the real business of life4 ,what is that8 asked my sister4 ,mouse-catching1 said my mother very earnestly4 ,there are no mice here1 ,i said1 stretching myself4 ,no1 but you will not always be here2 and if you practise the little tricks ,i show you now with the ball of worsted and the tips of our tails1 then1 when the great hour comes1 and a career is open to you1 and you see before you the glorious prize--the ,,mouse--you will be quick enough and clever enough to satisfy the highest needs of your nature4 ,and supposing we don't play with our tails and the balls of worsted8 ,i said4 ,then1 said my mother bitterly1 you may as well lie down for the mice to1 run over you4 ,thus at first she used to try to show me how foolish it was to think of nothing but eating and sleeping2 but after a while she turned all her attention to teaching my brother and sister1 and they were apt pupils4 ,they despised nothing small enough to be moved by their paws1 which could give them an opportunity of practising4 ,they did not mind making themselves ridiculous--a thing which has been always impossible with me4 ,i have seen ,tabby1 my sister1 in the garden1 playing with dead leaves1 as excited and pleased as though they had been the birds which she foolishly pretended that they were4 ,i thought her very silly then1 but ,i lived to wish that ,i had taken half as much trouble with my lessons as she did with hers4 ,my mother was very pleased with her1 especially after she caught the starlings4 ,this was a piece of cleverness which my sister invented and carried through entirely out of her own head4 ,she made friends with one of the cows at the farm near us1 and used to go into the cowhouse and jump on the cow's back4 ,then when the cow was sent out into the field to get her grassy breakfast1 my sister used to go with her1 riding on her back4 ,now birds are always very much on the look-out for cats1 and1 if they can help it1 never allow one of us to come within half-a-dozen yards of them without taking to those silly wings of theirs4 ,i never could see why birds should have wings--so unnecessary4 ,but birds are not afraid of cows1 for cows are very poor sportsmen1 and never care to kill and eat anything4 ,now the back of a cow is the last place where you would think of looking for a cat2 so when the starlings saw the cow coming1 they didn't think it worth while to use their wings1 and when the cow was quite close to the birds--beautiful1 fat1 delightful birds--- my sister used to pick out with her eye the fattest starling1 and then leap suddenly from the cow's back on to her prey4 ,she never missed4 ,i have never known1 said my poor mother with tears of pride in her green eyes--,i have never known a cat do anything so clever4 ,it's all your doing1 mother dear1 said my sister prettily2 if you hadn't taught me so well when ,i was little1 ,i should never have thought of it4 ,and they kissed each other affectionately4 ,i showed my claws and growled4 ,my mother shook her tabby head4 ,o ,buff1 she said1 if you had only been willing to learn when you were little1 you might have been as clever as your sister1 instead of being the great anxiety you are to me4 ,and why am ,i an anxiety8 ,i said1 ruffling up my fur and my tail1 for ,i was very angry4 ,because you are useless1 she said1 and not particularly handsome2 and when a cat is useless and not particularly handsome1 they sometimes---- ,what8 ,i said1 turning pale to the ends of my ears4 ,they sometimes drown it1 ,buff1 she said in a whisper1 and turned away to hide her feelings4 ,judge of my own next day when they came into the kitchen and took me up and put me into a basket4 ,i knew all about drowning4 ,these tales of horror are told at twilight time in all cat nurseries1 and ,i knew that if three large stones were put into the basket with me1 ,i might consider my fate sealed4 ,it was very uncomfortable in the basket4 ,they carried me upside-down part of the way1 and it was draughty and hard2 but1 so far1 there were no stones4 ,when they took off the lid of the basket1 ,i found myself under the shade of a huge moving mountain1 that seemed about to fall and crush me4 ,it was an elephant4 ,i found that the people where my mother lived had given me to the cook1 who had given me to her cousin1 who was engaged to be married to a young man whose brother-in-law was the elephant's keeper1 and so ,i found myself in the elephant's house4 ,there was no milk for me--no heads and tails of fish--no scraps of meat--no delicious unforeseen morsels of butter4 ,the elephant was very kind to me4 ,he had once had a friend exactly like me1 he explained1 but had unfortunately walked upon him1 and now ,i had come to fill the vacant place in his large heart4 ,i resolved at once that he should not walk upon me2 but in order to insure this1 ,i was compelled to enter upon a more active existence than ,i had ever known4 ,when ,i asked what ,i was expected to eat1 he said-- ,mice1 ,i suppose2 or you can have some of my buns if you like4 ,you might like them at first1 but you will soon get tired of them4 ,but ,i couldn't eat buns4 ,i was never1 from a kitten1 fond of such things4 ,i got very hungry4 ,again and again the mice rushed through the straw1 and ,i1 heavily1 helplessly1 in my unpractised way1 rushed after them4 ,at first the elephant laughed heartily at my inexpertness2 but when he saw how hungry and wretched ,i was1 he said-- ,they won't give you any milk1 and if they find you don't catch the mice they will take you away from me4 ,now you are a nice little cat1 and ,i don't want to part with you4 ,we must try and arrange something4 ,then the great thought of my life came to me4 ,you walked on the other cat1 ,i said4 ,what8 he trumpeted in a voice of thunder4 ,i beg your pardon1 ,i said hastily2 ,i didn't mean to hurt your feelings--and1 indeed1 ,i could not have imagined that an elephant would have been so thin-skinned but a great idea has come to me4 ,why shouldn't you walk on mice--not too hard1 but just so that ,i could eat them afterwards8 ,well1 said the elephant1 showing his long tusks in a smile1 you are not very handsome1 and you are not very brisk2 but you certainly have brains1 my dear4 ,he dropped his great foot as he spoke4 ,when he lifted it1 there lay a mouse4 ,i had an excellent supper2 and before the week's end ,i heard the keeper say1 ,this cat has certainly done the trick4 ,she has kept the mice down4 ,we must keep her4 ,they have kept me4 ,they even go so far as to allow me to moisten my mice with milk4 ,there is no moral to this story1 except that you should do as you are told1 and learn everything you can while you are young4 ,it is true that ,i get on very well without having done so1 but then you may not have my good luck4 ,it is not every cat who can get an elephant to catch her mice for her4 ,a ,silly ,question ,,how do you come to be white1 when all your brothers are tabby1 my dear8 ,dolly asked her kitten4 ,as she spoke1 she took it away from the ball it was playing with1 and held it up and looked in its face as ,alice did with the ,red ,queen4 ,i'll tell you1 if you'll keep it a secret1 and not hold me so tight1 the kitten answered4 ,dolly was not surprised to hear the kitten speak1 for she had read her fairy books1 as all good children should1 and she knew that all creatures answer if one only speaks to them properly4 ,so she held the kitten more comfortably and the tale began4 ,you must know1 my dear ,dolly1 the kitten began--and ,dolly thought it dreadfully familiar--you must know that when we were very small we all set out to seek our fortunes4 ,why1 interrupted ,dolly1 you were all born and brought up in our barn6 ,i used to see you every day4 ,quite so1 said the kitten2 we sought our fortune every night1 and it turned out to be mice1 mostly4 ,well1 one night ,i was seeking mine1 when ,i came to a hole in the door that ,i had never noticed before4 ,i crept through it1 and found myself in a beautiful large room4 ,it smelt delicious4 ,there was cheese there1 and fish1 and cream1 and mice1 and milk4 ,it was the most lovely room you can think of4 ,there's no such room---- began ,dolly4 ,did ,i say there was8 asked the kitten4 ,i only said ,i found myself there4 ,well1 ,i stayed there some time4 ,it was the happiest hour of my life4 ,but1 as ,i was washing my face after one of the most delicious herring's heads you ever tasted1 ,i noticed that on nails all round the room were hung skins--and they were cat skins1 it added slowly4 ,well may you tremble6 ,dolly hadn't trembled4 ,she had only shaken the kitten to make it speak faster4 ,well1 ,i stood there rooted to the ground with horror2 and then came a sort of horrible scramble-rush1 and a barking and squeaking1 and a terrible monster stood before me4 ,it was something like a dog and something like a broom1 something like being thrown out of the larder by cook--,i can't describe it4 ,it caught me up1 and in less than a moment it had hung my tabby skin on a nail behind the door4 ,i crept out of that lovely fairyland a cat without a skin4 ,and that's how ,i came to be white4 ,i don't quite see---- began ,dolly4 ,no8 ,why1 what would your mother do if some one took off your dress1 and hung it on a nail where she could not get it8 ,buy me another1 ,i suppose4 ,exactly4 ,but when my mother took me to the cat-skin shop1 they were1 unfortunately1 quite out of tabby dresses in my size1 so ,i had to have a white one4 ,i don't believe a word of it1 said ,dolly4 ,no8 ,well1 ,i'm sure it's as good a story as you could expect in answer to such a silly question4 ,but you were always---- ,oh1 well6 said the kitten1 showing its claws1 if you know more about it than ,i do1 of course there's no more to be said4 ,perhaps you could tell me why your hair is brown8 ,i was born so1 ,i believe1 said ,dolly gently4 ,the kitten put its nose in the air4 ,you've got no imagination1 it said4 ,but1 ,kitty1 really and truly1 without pretending1 you were born white1 you know4 ,if you know all about it1 why did you ask me8 ,at any rate1 you can't expect me to remember whether ,i was born white or not4 ,i was too young to notice such things4 ,now you are in fun1 said poor ,dolly1 bewildered4 ,the kitten bristled with indignation4 ,what6 you really don't believe me8 ,i'll never speak to you again1 it said4 ,and it never has4 ,the ,selfish ,pussy ,,yes1 said the tortoiseshell cat to the grey one1 as she thoughtfully washed her left ear1 ,i have lived in a great many families4 ,you see1 it's not every trade that deserves to have a cat about the place4 ,my first master was a shoemaker1 and ,i lived with him happily enough1 until one morning in winter1 when ,i found the wicked man sewing strips of--let me whisper--cat's fur on a pair of lady's slippers6 ,i mewed as ,i saw it1 and he1 thinking ,i wanted milk1 put down his work to get me some1 for he was fond enough of me4 ,i drank the milk1 and then ,i ran away4 ,i could not live with such a man4 ,my next home was in a garret1 with a half-starved musician who made violins4 ,a violin is a musical instrument that miauls when you touch it just as we cats do1 and it was amusing to live with a man who could make things with voices like my own4 ,he was very poor1 and often had not enough to eat1 but he always got me my cat's-meat2 and when there was no fire on1 he nursed me to keep me warm4 ,but one day ,i learned1 from the talk of one of his friends 7a man as lean as himself7 who came to see him1 that the strings of the violins were taken from the bodies of dead cats4 ,no wonder the voices were like my brothers' voices1 since they were stolen from my brothers' bodies4 ,he might take my own voice some day4 ,so next day1 after the cat's-meat man had called1 ,i walked quietly out1 and never saw that bad violin-maker again4 ,i was picked up in the street by a child1 who took me home to her mother's house4 ,they were rich folk2 they had curtains1 and cushions1 and couches1 and they did very little but nurse me1 or sometimes1 not wishing to hurt his feelings1 the ,italian greyhound4 ,but they liked me best1 of course4 ,they were a noble family2 and ,i should have been living with them still1 but one year1 when they went to the seaside1 they forgot to provide for my board and lodging1 and ,i had to go into trade again4 ',milk ahoy6 milk ahoy6' ,i heard that well-known music as ,i sat lonely on the doorstep of the deserted mansion in the ,square4 ,the milkman looked lonely too2 so ,i thought it would be only kind to go home with him4 ,i did4 ,he was a very well-meaning man1 but his tastes were low4 ,he took skim milk in his tea1 and gave me the same4 ,of course1 after that1 ,i could not stay another hour under his roof4 ,i tried two or three other houses1 and ,i could have been happy with a very nice butcher who kept a corner shop1 but he kept a dog also1 a dog that no cat in her senses would live in the same street with2 so ,i came away--rather hurriedly1 ,i remember--and the dog saw me off4 ,now ,i live with a worker in silver1 and ,i have cream every day2 and when he makes a cream-jug1 and ,i remember what will be put in it some day1 ,i lick my lips1 and think what a happy cat ,i am to live with such a good man4 ,where do you live8 ,with a poor widow1 in an attic4 ,i never have enough to eat4 ,and1 indeed1 the grey cat was thin4 ,why do you stay with her8 ,because ,i love her1 said the grey cat4 ,love6 replied the tortoiseshell cat4 ,nonsense6 ,i never heard of such a thing4 ,poor puss6 said the parrot in the window4 ,the grey cat thought it was speaking to the tortoiseshell1 and the tortoiseshell was certain it meant the grey4 ,which do you think it meant8 ,meddlesome ,pussy ,i ,,was separated from my mother at a very early age1 and sent out into the world alone1 long before ,i had had time to learn to say please and thank you1 and to shut the door after me1 and little things like that4 ,one of the things ,i had not learned to understand was the difference between milk in a saucer on the floor1 and milk in a jug on the table4 ,other cats tell me there is a difference1 but ,i can't see it4 ,the difference is not in the taste of the milk--that is precisely the same4 ,it is not so easy to get the milk out of a jug1 and ,i should have thought some credit would attach to a cat who performed so clever a feat4 ,the world1 my dear1 thinks otherwise4 ,this difference of opinion has1 through life1 been a fruitful source of sorrow to me4 ,i cannot tell you how much ,i have suffered for it4 ,the first occasion ,i remember was a beautiful day in ,june1 when the sun shone1 and all the world looked fair4 ,i was destined to remember that day4 ,the fishmonger 7talk of statues to heroes6 ,i would raise one to that noble man67--the fishmonger1 ,i say1 brought his usual little present to me4 ,i let the cook take it and prepare it for my eating4 ,i am always generous enough to permit the family to be served first--and then ,i have my dinner quietly at the back door4 ,well1 he had brought the salmon1 and ,i followed the cook in1 to see that it wasn't put where those dogs could get it2 and then1 the dining-room door being opened1 ,i walked in4 ,the breakfast things were lying littered about1 and on the tea-tray was a jug4 ,of course1 ,i walked across the table1 and looked into the jug2 there was milk in it4 ,it was a sensible1 wide-mouthed jug1 and ,i should have been quite able to make a comfortable breakfast1 if some clumsy1 careless servant hadn't rushed into the room1 crying ,shoo6 scat6 ,this startled me1 of course4 ,i am very sensitive4 ,i started1 the jug went over1 and the milk ran on to the cloth1 and down on the new carpet4 ,you will hardly believe it1 but that servant1 to conceal her own carelessness1 beat me with a feather brush1 and threw me out of the back door2 and cook1 who was always a heartless person1 though stout1 gave me no dinner4 ,ah6 if my fishmonger had only known that ,i never tasted his beautiful present1 after all6 ,but though ,i admired him so much1 ,i could not talk to him4 ,i never1 from a kitten1 could speak any foreign language fluently4 ,so he never knew4 ,my next misadventure was on an afternoon when the family expected company1 and the best china was set out4 ,why best8 ,why should a saucer1 all blue and gold and red1 with a crown on the back1 be better than a white one with mauve blobs on it8 ,i never could see4 ,milk tastes equally well from both4 ,i went into the drawing-room before the guests arrived--just to be sure that everything was as ,i could wish--and1 seeing the tea set out1 ,i got on the table1 as usual1 to see whether there was anything in the saucers4 ,there was not1 but in the best milk-jug there was--,,cream6 ,the neck of the best milk-jug was narrow4 ,i could not get my head in1 so ,i turned it over with my paw4 ,it fell with a crash1 and ,i paused a moment--these little shocks always upset me4 ,all was still--,i began to lap4 ,oh6 that cream6 ,i shall never forget it6 ,then came a rush1 and the fatal cry of ,shoo6 scat6--always presaging disaster4 ,i saw the door open1 and1 by an instinct ,i cannot explain1 ,i leaped from the table4 ,in my hurry1 my foot caught in the handle of the silver tray4 ,we fell together--neither the tray nor ,i was hurt--but the best china666 ,i picked myself up1 and looked about me4 ,the family had come in4 ,i read in their faces that their servant's unlucky interruption-of my meal had destroyed what was dearer to them than life--than my life1 at any rate4 ,i fled4 ,i went out homeless and hopeless into the golden afternoon4 ,i live now with a ,saint--a maiden lady1 who takes condensed milk in her own tea1 and buys me two-pennyworth of cream night and morning4 ,and cat's meat1 too6 ,and the glorious fishmonger still leaves his offerings at my door4 ,nine ,lives ,,mother1 said the yellow kitten1 is it true that we cats have nine lives8 ,quite1 my dear1 the brindled cat replied4 ,she was a very handsome cat1 and in very comfortable circumstances4 ,she sat on a warm ,turkey carpet1 and wore a blue satin ribbon round her neck4 ,i am in the ninth life myself1 she said4 ,have you lived all your lives here8 ,oh dear1 no6 ,were you here1 the white kitten asked1 in a sleepy voice1 when the ,turkey carpet was born8 ,rover says it is only a few months old4 ,no1 said the mother1 ,i was not4 ,indeed1 it was partly the softness of that carpet that made me come and live here4 ,where did you live before8 the black kitten said4 ,a dreamy look came into the brindled cat's eyes4 ,in many strange places1 she answered slowly2 adding more briskly1 and if you will be good kittens1 ,i will tell you all about them4 ,goldie6 come down from that stool1 and sit down like a good kitten4 ,sweep6 leave off sharpening your claws on the furniture2 that always ends in trouble and punishment4 ,snowball6 you're asleep again6 ,oh1 well2 if you'd rather sleep than hear a story---- ,snowball shook herself awake1 and the others sat down close to their mother with their tails arranged neatly beside them1 and waited for the story4 ,i was born1 said the brindled cat1 in a barn4 ,what is a barn8 asked the black kitten4 ,a barn is like a house1 but there is only one room1 and no carpets1 only straw4 ,i should like that1 said the yellow kitten1 who often played among the straw in the big box which brought groceries from the ,stores4 ,i liked it well enough when ,i was your age1 said the mother indulgently1 but a barn is not at all a genteel place to be born in4 ,my mother had had a little unpleasantness with the family she lived with1 and1 of course1 she was too proud to stay on after that4 ,and so she left them1 and went to live in the barn4 ,it wasn't at all the sort of life she had been accustomed to4 ,what was the unpleasantness8 ,sweep asked4 ,well1 it was about some cream which the woman of the house wanted for her tea4 ,she should have said so4 ,of course1 my mother would not have taken it if she had had any idea that any one else wanted it4 ,she was always most unselfish4 ,what is tea8 ,a kind of brown milk--very nasty indeed1 and very bad for you4 ,well1 ,i lived with my brothers and sisters very happily for some months1 for ,i was too young to know how vulgar it was to live in a barn and play with straw4 ,what is vulgar1 mother8 ,dear1 dear2 how you do ask questions1 said the brindled cat1 beginning to look worried4 ,vulgar is being like everybody else4 ,but does everybody else live in a barn8 ,no2 nobody does who is respectable4 ,vulgar really means--not like respectable cats4 ,oh6 said the black kitten and the yellow1 trying to look as if they understood4 ,but the white one did not say anything1 because it had gone to sleep again4 ,well1 the mother went on1 after a while they took me to live in the farm-house4 ,and ,i should have liked it well enough1 only they had a low habit of locking up the dairy and the pantry4 ,well1 it would be tiresome to go into the whole story2 however1 ,i soon finished my life at the farm-house and went to live in the stable4 ,it was very pleasant there4 ,horses are excellent company4 ,that was my third life4 ,my fourth was at the miller's4 ,he came one day to buy some corn2 he saw me1 and admired me--as1 indeed1 every one has always done4 ,he and the farmer were disputing about the price of the corn1 and at last the miller said-- ',look here2 you shall have your price if you'll throw me that cat into the bargain4' ,the kittens all shuddered4 ,what is a bargain8 ,is it like a pond8 ,and were you thrown in8 ,i was thrown in1 ,i believe4 ,but a bargain is not like a pond2 though ,i heard the two men talk of 'wetting' the bargain4 ,but ,i suppose they did not do it1 for ,i arrived at the mill quite dry4 ,that was a very pleasant life--full of mice6 ,who was full of mice8 asked the white kitten1 waking up for a moment4 ,i was1 said the mother sharply2 and ,i should have stayed in the mill for ever1 but the miller had another cat sent him by his sister4 ,however1 he gave me away to a man who worked a barge up and down the river4 ,i suppose he thought he should like to see me again sometimes as the barge passed by4 ,life in a barge is very exciting4 ,there are such lots of rats1 some of them as big as you kittens4 ,i got quite clever at catching them1 though sometimes they made a very good fight for it4 ,i used to have plenty of milk1 and ,i slept with the bargee in his warm little bunk1 and of nights ,i sat and toasted myself in front of his fire in the small1 cosy cabin4 ,he was very fond of me1 and used to talk to me a great deal4 ,it is so lonely on a barge that you are glad of a little conversation4 ,he was very kind to me1 and ,i was very grieved when he married a lady who didn't like cats1 and who chased me out of the barge with a barge-pole4 ,what is a barge-pole8 the yellow kitten asked lazily4 ,the only leg a barge has4 ,i ran away into the woods1 and there ,i lived on birds and rabbits4 ,what are rabbits8 ,something like cats with long ears2 very wholesome and nutritious4 ,and ,i should have liked my sixth life very much1 but for the keeper4 ,no1 don't interrupt to ask what a keeper is4 ,he is a man who1 when he meets a cat or a rabbit1 points a gun at it1 and says ',bang6' so loud that you die of fright4 ,how horrible6 said all the kittens4 ,i was looking out for my seventh life1 and also for the gamekeeper1 and was sitting by the river with both eyes and both ears open1 when a little girl came by--a nice little girl in a checked pinafore4 ,she stopped when she saw me1 and called--',pussy6 pussy6' ,so ,i went very slowly to her1 and rubbed myself against her legs4 ,then she picked me up and carried me home in the checked pinafore4 ,my seventh life was spent in a clean little cottage with this little girl and her mother4 ,she was very fond of me1 and ,i was as fond of her as a cat can be of a human being4 ,of course1 we are never so unreasonably fond of them as they are of us4 ,why not8 asked the yellow kitten1 who was young and affectionate4 ,because they're only human beings1 and we are ,cats1 returned the mother1 turning her large1 calm green eyes on ,goldie1 who said1 ,oh6 and no more4 ,well1 what happened then8 asked the black kitten1 catching its mother's eye4 ,well1 one day the little girl put me into a basket1 and carried me out4 ,i was always a fine figure of a cat1 and ,i must have been a good weight to carry4 ,several times she opened the basket to kiss and stroke me4 ,the last time she did it we were in a room where a sick girl lay on a bed4 ',i did not know what to bring you for your birthday1' said my little girl1 'so ,i've brought you my dear pussy4' ,the sick girl's eyes sparkled with delight4 ,she took me in her arms and stroked me4 ,and though ,i do not like sick people1 ,i felt flattered and pleased4 ,but ,i only stayed a very little time with her4 ,why8 asked all the kittens at once4 ,because----but no2 that story's too sad for you children2 ,i will tell it you when you're older4 ,but that only makes eight lives1 said ,sweep1 who had been counting on his claws1 and you said you had nine4 ,which was the ninth8 ,why1 this1 you silly child1 said the brindled pussy1 sitting up1 and beginning to wash the kitten's face very hard indeed4 ,and as it's my last life1 ,i must be very careful of it4 ,that's why ,i'm so particular about what ,i eat and drink1 and why ,i make a point of sleeping so many hours a-day4 ,but it's your first life1 ,snowball1 and ,i can't have you wasting it all in sleep4 ,go and catch a mouse at once4 ,yes1 mamma1 said ,snowball1 and went to sleep again immediately4 ,ah6 said ,mrs4 ,brindle1 ,i'll wash you next4 ,that'll make you wake up1 my dear4 ,snowball's always sleepy1 said the yellow kitten1 stretching itself4 ,but1 mamma dear1 she doesn't care for history1 and yours was a very long tale4 ,you can't have too much of a good thing1 said the mother1 looking down at her long brindled tail4 ,if it's a good tail1 the longer it is the better4 ,doggy ,tales ,tinker ,,my name is ,stumps1 and my mistress is rather a nice little girl2 but she has her faults1 like most people4 ,i myself1 as it happens1 am wonderfully free from faults4 ,among my mistress's faults is what ,i may call a lack of dignity1 joined to a desire to make other people undignified too4 ,you will hardly believe that1 before ,i had belonged to her a month1 she had made me learn to dance and to jump4 ,i am a very respectable dachshund1 of cobby build1 and jumping is the very last exercise ,i should have taken to of my own accord4 ,but when ,miss ,daisy said1 ,now jump1 ,stumps2 there's a darling6 and held out her little arms1 ,i could not well refuse4 ,for1 after all1 the child is my mistress4 ,i never could understand why the cat was not taught to dance4 ,it seemed to me very hard that1 when ,i was having those long1 miserable lessons1 the cat should be allowed to sit down doing nothing but smile at my misfortunes4 ,trap always said we ought to feel honoured by being taught1 and the reason why ,pussy wasn't asked to learn was because she was so dreadfully stupid1 and had no brains for anything but the pleasures of the chase and the cares of a family2 but ,i didn't think that could be the reason1 because the doll was taught to dance1 though she never learned1 and ,i am sure she was stupid enough4 ,another thing which ,miss ,daisy taught me to do was to beg2 and the action fills me with shame and pain every time ,i perform it1 and as the years go on ,i hate it more and more4 ,for a stout1 middle-aged dog1 the action is absurd and degrading4 ,yet1 such is the force of habit1 that ,i go through the performance now quite naturally whenever ,i want anything4 ,trap does it too1 and says what does it matter8 but then he has no judgment1 and1 besides1 he's thin4 ,but one of the most thoughtless things my little mistress ever did was one day last summer when she was out without me4 ,i chose to stay at home because it was very hot1 and ,i knew that the roads would be dusty2 and she was only going down to the village shop1 where no one ever thinks of offering a dog anything to drink4 ,if she had been going to the farm1 ,i should have gone with her1 because the lady there shows proper attention to visitors1 and always sets down a nice dish of milk for us dogs4 ,besides1 ,i was a little unwell just then2 the family had had duck for dinner1 and ,i always feel a little faint after duck4 ,all our family do4 ,so ,i stayed at home4 ,well1 ,miss ,daisy had gone out with only ,trap and her hoop4 ,i wish ,i had been there1 for ,trap is far too easy-going1 and a hoop never gives any advice worth listening to4 ,trap told me all about it as well as he could4 ,trap can't tell a story very well1 poor fellow6 ,it seems that1 as ,miss ,daisy went across the village green1 she saw a crowd of children running after a dog with--,i hardly like to mention such a thing--a tin saucepan tied to his tail6 ,the dog bolted into the empty dog-kennel by the blacksmith's shop1 and stayed there1 growling4 ,go away1 bad children1 said ,miss ,daisy2 how dare you treat a poor dear doggie so8 ,the children wouldn't go away at first4 ,very well1 said ,miss ,daisy2 ,i shall tell ,trap what ,i think of you all4 ,then she whispered to ,trap1 and he began to growl so fiercely that the children dared not come nearer4 ,any one can growl4 ,presently the children got tired of listening to him1 and went away4 ,then ,miss ,daisy coaxed the unpleasant1 tin-tailed creature out of the kennel1 and untied the string1 and took off the pan4 ,then1 if you'll believe a dog of my character 7and of course you must71 she carried that low dog home in her arms1 and washed him1 and set him down to eat out of the same plate as ,trap and myself6 ,trap was friends with him directly--some people have no spirit--but ,i hope ,i know my duty to myself too well for that4 ,i snarled at the base intruder till he was quite ashamed of himself4 ,i knew from the first that he'd be taught jumping and begging1 and things like that4 ,i hate those things myself1 but that's no reason why every low dog should be taught them4 ,miss ,daisy called him ,tinker1 because he once carried a tin pan about with him1 and she tried very hard to make me friendly to him2 but ,i can choose my own friends1 ,i hope4 ,every one made a great fuss about one thing he did1 but actually it was nothing but biting2 and if biting isn't natural to a dog1 ,i should like to know what is2 and why people should be praised and petted1 and have new collars1 and everybody else's share of the bones1 only for doing what is quite natural to them1 ,i have never been able to comprehend4 ,besides1 barking is as good as biting1 any day1 and ,i'm sure ,i barked enough1 though it wasn't my business4 ,miss ,daisy had gone away to stay with her cousins in ,london1 and she had taken ,trap with her4 ,why she should have taken him instead of me is a matter on which ,i can offer no opinion4 ,if my opinion had been asked1 ,i should have said that ,i thought it more suitable for her to have a heavy middle-aged dog of good manners than a harum-scarum young stripling like ,trap4 ,trap told me afterwards that he thought the reason he was taken was because ,miss ,daisy would have had more to pay for the dog-ticket of such a heavy dog as ,i am2 but ,i can't believe that dogs are charged for by the weight1 like butter4 ,as ,i was saying1 ,miss ,daisy took ,trap with her1 and also her father and mother2 and ,tinker and ,i were left to take care of the servants4 ,we had a very agreeable time1 though ,i confess that ,i missed ,miss ,daisy more than ,i would have believed possible4 ,but there was more to eat in the kitchen than usual1 and the servants often left things on the table when they went out to take in the milk or to chat with the gardeners2 and if people leave things on tables1 they have only themselves to thank for whatever happens4 ,there was a young man who wore a fur cap1 and who used to call with fish2 and ,i was more surprised than ,i care to own when ,i met him walking out with cook one ,sunday afternoon1 for ,i thought she had a soul above fish2 yet when the servants began to ask this young man to tea in the kitchen1 ,i thought1 of course1 it must be all right1 but ,tinker would do nothing but growl the whole time the young man was there2 so that at last cook had to lock us up in the butler's pantry till the young man was gone4 ,i had not growled1 but ,i was locked in too4 ,the world is full of injustice and ingratitude4 ,now one night1 when the servants went to bed1 ,tinker and ,i lay down in our baskets under the hall table as usual2 but ,tinker was dreadfully restless1 which must have been only an accident1 because he said himself he didn't know what was the matter with him2 and he would not go to sleep1 but kept walking up and down as if he were going to hide a bone and couldn't find a good place for it4 ,do lie down1 for goodness' sake1 ,tinker1 ,i said1 and go to sleep4 ,any one can see you have not been brought up in a house where regular hours are kept4 ,i can't go to sleep2 ,i don't know what's the matter with me1 he said gloomily4 ,well1 ,i tried to go to sleep myself1 and ,i think ,i must almost have dropped off1 when ,i heard a scrape-scraping from the butler's pantry4 ,i wasn't going to bark4 ,it wasn't my business4 ,i have often heard ,miss ,daisy's relations say that ,i was no house-dog4 ,still1 ,i think ,tinker ought to have barked then1 but he didn't3 only just pricked his ears and his tail2 and he waited1 and the scraping went on4 ,then ,tinker said to me--,don't you make a noise1 for your life2 ,i am going to see what it is2 and he trotted softly into the butler's pantry4 ,it was rather dark1 but you know we dogs can see as well as cats in the dark1 although they do make such a fuss about it1 and declare that they are the only creatures who can4 ,there was a man outside the window1 and ,i tapped ,tinker with my tail to show him that he ought to bark1 but he never moved4 ,the man had been scraping and scraping till he had got out one of the window-panes4 ,it was a very little window-pane1 only just big enough for his hand to go through2 and the man took out the window-pane and put his hand through1 making a long arm to get at the fastening of the window2 and just as he was going to undo the hasp1 ,tinker made a spring on to the window-ledge1 and he caught the man's hand in his mouth1 and the man gave a push1 and ,tinker fell off the window-ledge1 but he took the man's hand with him2 and there was the man's arm dragged through the window-pane1 and ,tinker hanging on to his fingers4 ,the man broke some more panes and tried to get his other hand through1 and if he had he would have done for ,tinker1 but he could not manage it2 and now ,i thought ,this is the time to bark1 and ,i barked4 ,i barked my best1 ,i barked nobly1 though ,i am not a house-dog1 and ,i don't think it's my business4 ,in less than a minute down came the gardener and the under-gardener3 and ,tinker was still holding on1 and they took the man1 and he was marched off to prison1 and it turned out to be the man in the fur cap4 ,but though they made fuss enough about ,tinker's share in the business1 you may be sure it didn't make me think much more of him4 ,i should never have had anything to say to him but for one thing4 ,early one morning we three dogs--it's all over long ago1 and ,i hope ,i can be generous and let bygones be bygones2 he is one of us now--went out for a run in the paddock by the wood1 and while ,trap and ,i were trotting up and down chatting about the weather1 that ,tinker dog bolted into the wood1 and in less than a minute came out with a rabbit4 ,i saw at once that he could never get it eaten before ,miss ,daisy came out1 and ,i knew that1 if he were found with it1 his sufferings would be awful4 ,so ,i helped him to eat it4 ,i know my duty to a fellow-creature1 ,i trust4 ,it was a very young rabbit1 and tender4 ,not too much fur4 ,fur gets in your throat1 and spoils your teeth1 besides4 ,we had just finished it when my mistress came out4 ,trap would not eat a bit1 even to help ,tinker out of his scrape1 but ,i have a kind heart4 ,well1 after that ,i thought ,i might as well consent to be friends with ,tinker1 in spite of his low breeding4 ,you see1 ,i had helped him out of a dreadful scrape1 and one always feels kindly to people one has helped4 ,he has caught several more rabbits since then1 and ,i have always stood by him on those occasions1 and ,i always mean to4 ,i am not one to turn my back on a friend1 ,i believe4 ,so now he has a collar like ours1 and ,i hardly feel degraded at all when ,i sit opposite to him at the doll's tea-parties4 ,rats6 ,,he has no nose1 said my master2 he is a handsome dog1 but he has no nose4 ,this annoyed me very much1 for ,i have a nose--a very long1 sharp1 black nose4 ,i wear tan boots and gloves1 and my coat is a beautiful shiny black4 ,i am a ,manchester terrier1 and ,i fulfil the old instructions for such dogs4 ,i am ,neckd like a drak1 ,headed like a snak1 ,tailed like a ratte1 ,and footed like a catte4 ,and then they said ,i had no nose4 ,but ,kerry explained to me that my master did not mean to find fault with the shape of my nose1 but that what he wanted to be understood was that ,i had no nose for smelling rats4 ,kerry has1 and he is ridiculously vain of this accomplishment4 ,and you have no nose1 you know1 old boy1 said ,kerry2 why1 you would let the rats run all over you and never know it4 ,i turned up my nose--my beautiful1 pointed1 handsome nose--and walked away without a word4 ,a few weeks afterwards my master brought home with him some white rats4 ,kerry was out at the time1 but my master showed me the rats through the bars of their cage4 ,he also showed me a boot and a stick4 ,although ,i have no nose1 ,i was clever enough to put two and two together4 ,did ,i mention that there were two rats8 ,we were not allowed to go in the study1 either of us1 and my master put the rats there in their cage on the table4 ,that night1 when everybody had gone to bed1 ,i said to ,kerry1 ,i may have no nose1 old man1 but ,i smell rats4 ,kerry sniffed contemptuously4 ,you6 said he1 curling himself round in his basket2 ,i don't believe you could smell an elephant if there were one in the dresser drawer4 ,i kept my temper4 ,i am not feeling very well1 ,kerry1 ,i said gently1 or ,i would go and see myself4 ,but ,i am sure there are rats2 ,i smell them plainly2 they seem to be in the study4 ,go to sleep1 he said2 you're dreaming1 old man4 ,why don't you go and see8 ,i said4 ,if ,i didn't feel so very faint1 ,i would go myself4 ,kerry got out of his basket reluctantly4 ,i suppose ,i ought to go1 if you are quite certain1 he said2 and he went4 ,in less than a minute he returned to the kitchen1 trembling all over with excitement4 ,chappie6 he said2 ,chappie6 ,well8 ,there are rats1 he whispered hoarsely2 there are rats in the study4 ,did you go in8 ,i asked4 ,no1 you know we're forbidden to go in1 but ,i smelt them quite plainly4 ,i can't smell them at all here1 he said regretfully4 ,what a nose you have got1 after all1 ,chappie6 ,what are you going to do1 ,kerry8 ,i asked4 ,why1 nothing1 he said2 we mustn't go in the study4 ,oh1 ,i said1 rules weren't made for great occasions like this2 it's your business to kill rats wherever they are4 ,and that misguided wire-haired person went up4 ,he got them out of the cage1 and killed them4 ,the next morning1 when the master came down1 he thrashed ,kerry within an inch of his life4 ,he knows ,i don't touch rats2 and1 besides1 ,i was so unwell that nobody could have suspected me4 ,and ,i explained to ,kerry that1 good as my nose is1 ,i couldn't possibly tell by the smell that the rats were white1 and1 therefore1 sacred4 ,it was not worth while to mention that ,i had seen them before4 ,kerry looks up to me now as a dog with a nose1 and ,i am much happier than formerly4 ,but ,kerry is not nearly so keen on rats now4 ,i thought somehow he wouldn't be4 ,the ,tables ,turned ,,we knew it was a dog1 directly the basket was set down in the hall4 ,we heard it moving about inside4 ,we sniffed all round4 ,we asked it why it didn't come out 7the basket was tightly tied up with string74 ,are you having a good time in there8 said ,roy4 ,can't you show your face8 said ,i4 ,he's ashamed of it1 said ,roy1 waving his long bushy tail4 ,then he growled a little1 and the dog inside growled too2 and then1 as ,roy had an appointment with the butcher at his own back door1 ,i went out to see him home4 ,i am so sorry ,i am going away for ,christmas with my master1 he said when we parted2 but you must introduce that new dog to me when ,i come home4 ,we mustn't stand any of his impudence1 eh8 ,i was sorry ,roy was going away1 for ,roy is my great friend4 ,he always fights the battles for both of us4 ,i daresay ,i might have got into the way of fighting my own battles1 but ,i never like to interfere with anybody's pleasure1 and ,roy's chief pleasure is fighting4 ,as for me1 ,i think the delights of that recreation are over-estimated4 ,when my master came home1 he opened the basket1 and a dog of ,irish family tumbled out1 growling and snarling1 and hid himself under the sofa4 ,they wasted more biscuits on him than ,i have ever seen wasted on any deserving dog2 and at last they got him out1 and he consented to eat some supper4 ,they gave him a much better basket than mine1 and we went to bed4 ,next morning1 the ,irish terrier got out of his basket1 stretched himself1 yawned1 and insisted on thrashing me before breakfast4 ,but ,i am a dog of peace1 ,i said2 ,i don't fight4 ,but ,i do1 you see1 he answered1 that's just the difference4 ,i tried to defend myself1 but he got hold of one of my feet1 and held it up4 ,i sat up1 and howled with pain and indignation4 ,have you had enough8 he said1 and1 without waiting for my answer1 proceeded to give me more4 ,but ,i don't fight1 ,i said2 ,i don't approve of fighting4 ,then ,i'll teach you to have better manners than to say so1 said he1 and he taught me for nearly five minutes4 ,now then1 he said1 are you licked8 ,yes1 ,i answered2 for indeed ,i was4 ,are you sorry you ever tried to fight with me8 ,yes1 still seemed to be the only thing to say4 ,and do you approve of fighting8 ,he seemed to wish me to say yes1 and so ,i said it4 ,very well1 then1 he said2 now we'll be friends1 if you like4 ,come along2 you have given me an appetite for breakfast4 ,any society worth cultivating about here8 he asked1 after the meal1 in his overbearing way4 ,i have a very great friend who lives next door1 ,i said2 but ,i don't know whether ,i should care to introduce you to him4 ,he showed his teeth1 and asked what ,i meant4 ,you see1 you might not like him2 and1 if you didn't like him----but he's a most agreeable dog4 ,a good fighter8 asked ,rustler4 ,i scratched my ear with my hind foot1 and pretended to think4 ,oh1 ,i see he's not1 said ,rustler contemptuously2 well1 you shall introduce him to me directly he comes back4 ,rustler's overbearing and disagreeable manners so upset me that ,i was quite thin when1 at the end of the week1 ,roy came home4 ,i told him my troubles at once4 ,bring your ,rustler along1 he said grandly1 and introduce him to me4 ,so ,i did4 ,rustler came along with his ears up1 and his miserable tail in the air4 ,roy lay by his kennel looking the image of serenity and peacefulness4 ,to judge by his expression1 he might not have had a tooth in his head4 ,rustler stood with his feet as far apart as he could get them1 and put his head on one side4 ,i have heard so much about you1 ,mr4 ,what's-your-name1 he said1 that ,i have come to make a closer acquaintance4 ,delighted1 ,i'm sure1 said ,roy1 who has splendid manners4 ,if you will get on your legs1 said ,rustler rudely1 ,i will tell you what ,i think of you4 ,roy got on his legs1 still looking very humble1 and the next minute he had ,rustler by the front foot1 and was making him sit down and scream just as ,rustler had made me4 ,it was a magnificent fight4 ,have you had enough8 said ,roy1 and then gave him more without waiting for an answer4 ,i don't want to fight any more1 said ,rustler at last2 ,i am sorry ,i spoke4 ,then ,i'll teach you to have more pluck than to own it1 said ,roy4 ,when he had taught him for some time1 he said1 ,are you licked8 ,yes1 said ,rustler1 glaring at me out his uninjured eye4 ,are you sorry you tried to fight with me8 ,yes4 ,will you promise to leave my little friend here alone8 ,yes4 ,then ,roy let him go4 ,we shook tails all round1 and ,rustler and ,i went home4 ,poor ,rustler1 ,i said1 ,i know exactly how you feel4 ,you little humbug1 he said1 with half a laugh--for he is not an ill-natured fellow when you come to know him--you managed it very cleverly1 and ,i'm not one to bear malice2 but1 ,i say1 your friend is ,a#a4 ,we are now the most united trio1 and ,roy and ,rustler have licked all the other dogs in the neighbourhood4 ,a ,noble ,dog ,,rover would go into the water fast enough for a bathe or a swim1 but he would not bring anything out4 ,the children used to throw in sticks1 and ,rover and ,i used to bound in together2 but ,i would bring the stick back1 while he swam round and round1 enjoying himself4 ,i am not vain1 but ,i could not help feeling how much superior ,i was to such a dog as ,rover4 ,he is a prize ,newfoundland1 and ,i am only a humble retriever of obscure family4 ,so one day ,i said to him-- ,why don't you fetch the sticks out when the children throw them in8 ,i don't care about sticks1 he said4 ,but it's so grand and clever to be able to fetch them out4 ,is it8 he answered4 ,i know it is1 for the children tell me so4 ,do they8 he said4 ,i wonder you are not ashamed1 ,i went on1 a little nettled by his meekness1 never to do anything useful4 ,i should be1 if ,i were you4 ,ah1 he said1 but you see you are not4 ,good night4 ,we used to spend a great deal of time by the river4 ,the children loved to play there1 and we dogs were always expected to go with them4 ,one day1 as ,i was lying asleep on the warm grass by the river bank1 ,i heard a splash4 ,i jumped in1 but there was no stick1 only one of the children floating down on the stream1 and screaming whenever her head came from under the water4 ,i thought it was a new kind of game1 not very interesting1 so ,i swam out again2 and just as ,i was shaking the water out of my ears1 ,i heard another great flop1 and there was ,rover in the water1 holding on to the child's dress4 ,he pulled her out some ten yards down the stream2 and oh6 if you could have seen the fuss that the master and mistress and the rest of the children made of that black and white spotted person6 ,why1 ,rover1 ,i said afterwards1 when we had got home and were talking it over1 whatever made you think that the child wanted to be pulled out of the water8 ,it's my business to pull people out of the water1 he said4 ,but1 ,i urged1 ,i always thought you were too stupid to understand things4 ,did you8 he said1 turning his mild eyes on me4 ,why didn't you explain to me that you---- ,my dear dog1 he said1 ,i never think it worth while to fetch sticks out of the water1 and ,i never think it worth while to explain things to stupid people4 ,the ,dyer's ,dog ,,she was beautiful1 with a strange unearthly beauty4 ,she had a little black nose4 ,her eyes were small1 but bright and full of charm4 ,her ears were long and soft1 and her tail curled like one of the ostrich plumes in the window of the dyer with whom she lived4 ,i have met many little dogs with noses as charming1 and eyes as bright1 and tails as curly2 but never one who1 like my ,bessie1 was a rich1 deep pink all over4 ,i lived with a baker then4 ,i was sitting on his doorstep when she first delighted my eyes4 ,i ran across the road to give her good morning4 ,she seemed pleased to see me4 ,we had a little chat about the weather and the other dogs in the street1 and about buns1 and rats1 and the vices of the domestic cat4 ,her manners and her conversation were as bright and charming as her eyes4 ,before we parted1 we had made an appointment for the next afternoon1 and as ,i said good-bye1 ,i ventured to ask-- ,how is it1 lady1 that you are of such a surpassingly beautiful colour8 ,it is natural to our family1 she said1 tossing her pretty ears4 ,my mother was the ,royal ,crimson ,dog at the ,court of the ,king of ,india4 ,i bowed with deep respect and withdrew1 for ,i heard them calling me at home4 ,the next day ,i looked for my beautiful pink-coloured lady1 but ,i looked in vain4 ,instead1 a dog of a bright sky-blue1 with a yellow ribbon round its neck1 sat in the sun on the dyer's doorstep4 ,yet1 could ,i be mistaken8 ,that nose1 those ears1 that feathery tail1 those bright and beaming eyes6 ,i went across4 ,she received me with some embarrassment1 which disappeared as ,i talked gaily of milk and guinea pigs1 and the habits of the cats'-meat man4 ,before we parted ,i said-- ,you have changed your dress4 ,yes1 she said1 it's so common and vulgar to wear always one colour4 ,but ,i thought--,i hesitated--that your mother was the ,royal ,crimson ,dog at the ,court of---- ,so she was1 replied the lady promptly1 but my father was the well-known sky-blue terrier at the ,crystal ,palace ,dog ,show4 ,i resemble both my parents4 ,i retired1 fascinated by her high breeding and graceful explanations4 ,through my dreams that night wandered a long procession of blue and crimson dogs4 ,the next day1 when ,i hurried to keep the appointment she had been good enough to make with me1 ,i found her a deep purple4 ,again ,i concealed my surprise1 while we talked of subjects of common interest1 of dog-collars and chains and kennels1 of biscuits1 bones1 and the outrage of the muzzling order2 and at last ,i said-- ,you have changed your dress again4 ,your mother was the ,royal---- ,oh1 don't1 she said1 it's so tiresome to keep repeating things4 ,my father was red and my mother was blue1 and ,i myself1 as you see1 am purple4 ,don't you know that crimson and blue make purple8 ,any child with a shilling box of paints could have told you that4 ,i thanked her1 and came away4 ,purple seemed to me the most beautiful colour in the world4 ,but the next day she was green--as green as grass4 ,after the customary exchange of civilities1 ,i remarked firmly-- ,blue and crimson may make purple1 but---- ,but green is my favourite colour1 she said briskly4 ,i suppose a dog is not to be bound down by the prejudices of its parents8 ,i went away very sadly1 and1 as ,i went1 ,i noticed that there were some curtains in the dyer's window of exactly the same tint as my friend's dress4 ,the next day she was gone4 ,i sought her in vain4 ,the day after1 a ,french poodle appeared on the dyer's doorstep1 dressed in stripes of orange and scarlet4 ,i went boldly across to him4 ,good morning1 old man2 how do you come to be that colour8 ,i said4 ,they dye me so1 he answered gloomily4 ,it's a dreadful lot for a dog that respects himself4 ,i never saw ,bessie but once again4 ,she seemed then to be living with a tinsmith1 and her colour was a gingery white4 ,i hope ,i am too much of a gentleman to taunt any lady in misfortune1 but ,i couldn't help saying-- ,why don't you wear any of your beautiful coloured dresses now8 ,she answered me curtly1 for she saw that she had ceased to charm4 ,i gave up wearing my pretty dresses1 she said1 because silly people asked me so many questions about them4 ,as usual1 ,i accepted her explanations in silence2 but1 when ,i see the poodle opposite1 in his varying glories of blue1 and green1 and orange1 and purple1 ,i can't help thinking that perhaps my fair ,bessie did not always speak the truth4 ,the ,vain ,setter ,,ours is one of the most ancient and noble families in the land1 and ,i contend that family pride is an exalted sentiment4 ,i still hold to this belief1 in spite of all the sufferings that it has brought upon me4 ,my father1 whose ancestor came over with the ,conqueror1 has taken prizes at many a county show2 and my mother1 the handsomest of her sex1 took one prize1 and would have taken more1 but for the unfortunate accident of having her tail cut off in a door4 ,i early determined to be worthy of my high breeding and undoubted descent4 ,a setter should have long1 silky ears4 ,i made my brother pull mine gently for an hour at a time4 ,in order to lengthen them1 ,i combed their fringes with my paws4 ,my father's brow is lofty and narrow4 ,the unfortunate accident which removed my mother from public life1 suggested to me a way of cultivating our most famous family characteristic4 ,i used to place my head between the doorpost and the door1 while my brother leaned gently against the latter1 so as to press my skull to the requisite shape4 ,my legs1 ,i knew1 ought to be straight4 ,i never indulged in any of those field-sports1 to which my brother early turned a light-hearted attention2 for ,i knew that undue exercise tends to curve the legs4 ,my tail was my special care4 ,regardless of comfort1 ,i twisted myself into the shape of a capital ,o1 and1 holding the end of my tail gently1 but firmly1 in my teeth1 ,i stretched myself and it4 ,so much pains devoted to such a noble object could not be thrown away4 ,i became the handsomest setter in the three counties4 ,my brother1 in the meantime1 grew expert in the coarse sporting exercises to which he devoted his energies4 ,he had no pride4 ,he tramped the mud of the fields2 he tore his ears in bramble bushes2 and ,i have seen him so far lose all sense of our family's dignity as to grovel at the feet of his master1 and raise one of his paws1 to indicate that birds were near--common birds2 ,i believe they are called partridges4 ,you might as well1 ,i said to him bitterly--you might as well have been born a pointer4 ,why not8 he said4 ,i know a pointer1 he went on1 laughing in his merry1 careless way--,i know a pointer who lives at the ,pines ,farm4 ,a capital fellow he is4 ,my dear boy1 ,i said1 just come and squeeze my head in the door a little1 will you8 and let me tell you that for one of our family to associate with a pointer is social ruin--common1 coarse1 smooth-coated persons1 related1 ,i should suppose1 to the vulgar plum-pudding dog4 ,my brother only laughed2 but he was a good-natured fellow1 and pinched my head in the door until my forehead could stand the strain no longer4 ,i was sent to the ,crystal ,palace ,dog ,show2 and1 as ,i looked round on the hundreds of dogs of all families and nationalities1 ,i breathed a sigh of contentment1 and blessed the fate that had made me1 in this ,england of ours1 a well-born ,english setter4 ,my brother was not at the ,show1 of course2 but ,i think even he would have admired me if he could have seen how far superior ,i was to all about me4 ,of course1 ,i took the first prize4 ,my mission was fulfilled3 my family pride was satisfied4 ,the judges unanimously pronounced me to be the most perfect and beautiful sporting dog in the whole ,show4 ,my master1 wild with delight1 patted my silky forehead1 and then turned aside to talk with a stout gentleman in gaiters4 ,i thought of what my life would be--one long1 joyous round of shows1 applause1 pats on the head from a grateful master1 delicious food and first prizes4 ,but my master's base nature--his ancestors came over with ,george and the ,hanoverians--struck all my hopes to the ground4 ,i woke from my dream of triumph to find myself sold to the stout man in gaiters4 ,i never saw my brother again4 ,i was never able to tell my fond and doting mother that ,i1 like her1 had taken a prize4 ,i was never able to chat with my father over a bone1 comparing with him experiences of the show bench4 ,the stout1 gaitered man took me away into a far country4 ,the next morning he took me out into the fields1 and looked at me from time to time1 as if he expected me to do something4 ,unwilling to disappoint him1 ,i sat down and began my usual exercise for lengthening my tail4 ,he at once struck me violently4 ,we went a little farther1 and ,i noticed that he looked more and more displeased2 but ,i could not imagine what it could be that so distressed him4 ,presently one of those common partridge birds had the impertinence to fly out close to me4 ,i caught it at once1 and looked round for applause4 ,there only came another shower of blows4 ,what's the good of your taking prizes1 he said1 if you're such an idiot in the field8--might as well have a greyhound4 ,i wish you had1 ,i said under my breath4 ,i spent a week in torment1 and then it occurred to me that this low-born1 gaitered person would have been better pleased with my brother4 ,so ,i tried to recall the tricks with which my brother had particularly aggravated me2 and1 the next time ,i smelt a partridge1 ,i lay down1 as ,i had seen my brother do1 and lifted a foolish foot4 ,i was rewarded with a pat and encouragement4 ,i have now sunk entirely to my brother's level4 ,my master pronounces me to be a most excellent sporting dog4 ,but ,i shall never forget the blows and angry words that were necessary to make me renounce my ideal of what a setter should be2 and deep in my heart ,i still cherish1 with passionate devotion1 my views on duty1 and my honourable family pride4 ,printed by ,,ballantyne1 ,,hanson ,,co4 ,edinburgh ,london