,university47 ,,hand-,,books ,,for ,,home ,,improvement--,no4 ,,iii ,,how ,,to ,,behave ,a ,,pocket ,,manual ,,of ,republican ,etiquette1 ,,and ,,guide ,,to ,,correct ,,personal ,,habits1 ,,embracing ,,an ,,exposition ,,of ,,the ,,principles ,,of ,,good ,,manners2 ,,useful ,,hints ,,on ,,the ,,care ,,of ,,the ,,person1 ,,eating1 ,,drinking1 ,,exercise1 ,,habits1 ,,dress1 ,,self-,,culture1 ,,and ,,behavior ,,at ,,home2 ,,the ,,etiquette ,,of ,,salutations1 ,,introductions1 ,,receptions1 ,,visits1 ,,dinners1 ,,evening ,,parties1 ,,conversation1 ,,letters1 ,,presents1 ,,weddings1 ,,funerals1 ,,the ,,street1 ,,the ,,church1 ,,places ,,of ,,amusement1 ,,traveling1 ,,etc41 ,,with ,illustrative ,anecdotes1 a ,chapter on ,love and ,courtship1 and ,rules of ,order for ,debating ,societies4 ,signature3 ,samuel ,r4 7,roberts7 ,wells ,the air and manner which we neglect1 as little things1 are frequently what the world judges us by1 and makes them decide for or against us4--,la ,bruyere4 ,order my steps in thy word4--,bible4 ,,new ,,york3 ,,fowler ,,wells ,,co41 ,,publishers1 #gec ,,broadway4 #ahhg4 ,,entered1 ,,according ,,to ,,act ,,of ,,congress ,,in ,,the ,,year #aheg ,,by ,,fowler ,,and ,,wells ,,in ,,the ,,clerk',s ,,office ,,of ,,the ,,district ,,court ,,of ,,the ,,united ,,states ,,for ,,the ,,southern ,,district ,,of ,,new ,,york ,,contents ,,introduction ,politeness ,defined--,the ,foundation of ,good ,manners--,the ,civil ,code and the ,code of ,civility--,the ,instinct of ,courtesy-- ,chesterfield's ,method--,the ,golden ,rule--,american ,politeness-- ,utility of ,good ,manners ,illustrated4 ,page ix ,i4--,,personal ,,habits4 ,where to ,commence--,care of the ,person a ,social ,duty--,cleanliness-- ,the ,daily ,bath--,soap and ,water--,the ,feet--,change of ,linen--,the ,nails--,the ,head--,the ,teeth--,the ,breath--,eating and ,drinking--,what to ,eat--,when to ,eat--,how much to ,eat--,what to ,drink--,breathing-- ,exercise--,the ,complexion--,tobacco--,spitting--,gin and ,gentility-- ,onions1 etc4--,little ,things #ae ,,ii4--,,dress4 ,the ,meaning of ,dress--,the ,uses of ,dress--,fitness the ,first ,essential--,the ,art of ,dress--,the ,short ,dress for ,ladies-- ,working-,dress for ,gentlemen--,ornaments--,materials for ,dress--,mrs4 ,manners on ,dress--,the ,hair and ,beard--,art vs4 ,fashion--,signs of the ,good ,time ,coming #ca ,,iii4--,,self-,,culture4 ,moral and ,social ,training--,cultivation of ,language--,position and ,movement--,the ,ease and ,grace of ,childhood--,standing--,sitting-- ,walking--,hints to the ,ladies--,self-,command--,observation--, practical ,lesson #db ,,iv4--,,fundamental ,,principles4 ,manners and ,morals--,human ,rights--,duties--,the ,rights of the ,senses--,the ,faculties and their ,claims--,expression of ,opinions--,the ,sacredness of ,privacy--,conformity--,singing out of ,tune--,doing as the ,romans ,do--,courtesy vs4 ,etiquette--,an ,anecdote--,harmony--,equality--,a ,remark to be ,remembered--,general ,principles more ,important than ,particular ,observances #dh ,v4--,,domestic ,,manners4 ,a ,test of ,good ,manners--,good ,behavior at ,home--,american ,children--,teaching ,children to be ,polite--,behavior to ,parents--,brothers and ,sisters--,husband and ,wife--,married ,lovers--,entertaining ,guests--,letting your ,guests ,alone--,making one at ,home--,making ,apologies--,duties of ,guests--,treatment of ,servants--,rights of ,servants--,thank ,you #ef ,,vi4--,,the ,,observances ,,of ,,every-,,day ,,life4 ,introductions--,letters of ,introduction--,speaking without an ,introduction--,salutations--,receptions --,visits and ,calls--,table ,manners--,conversations--,chesterfield on ,conversation--,music-- ,letters and ,notes--,up and ,down ,stairs--,which ,goes ,first8--,an ,american ,habit--,gloved or ,ungloved8--,equality--,false ,shame-- ,pulling out one's ,watch--,husband and ,wife--,bowing vs4 ,curtseying--,presents--,snobbery--,chil dren #fd ,,vii4--,,etiquette ,,of ,,occasions4 ,dinner ,parties--,invitations--,dress--,punctua lity--,going to the ,table--,arrangement of ,guests--,duties of the ,host--,duties of the ,guests--,the ,grace--,eating ,soup--,fish--,the ,third ,course--,what to do with your ,knife and ,fork--,declining ,wine--,finger ,glasses-- ,carving--,evening ,parties and their ,observances--,french ,leave-- ,sports and ,games--,promiscuous ,kissing--,dancing--,christmas--,the ,new ,year--,thanksgiving--,birthdays--,excur sions and ,picnics-- ,weddings--,funerals #hc ,,viii4--,,the ,,etiquette ,,of ,,places4 ,how to ,behave on the ,street--,stopping ,business ,men on the ,street-- ,walking with ,ladies--,shopping--,at ,church--,at ,places of ,amusement-- ,in a ,picture ,gallery--,the ,presence--,traveling--,the ,rush for ,places--,the ,rights of ,fellow-,travelers--,giving up ,seats to the ,ladies--,a ,hint to the ,ladies on ,politeness--,paying ,fares #ajj ,,ix4--,,love ,,and ,,courtship4 ,boyish ,loves--,the ,proper ,age to ,marry--,waiting for a ,fortune-- ,importance of ,understanding ,physiological ,laws--,earnestness and ,sincerity in ,love--,particular ,attentions--,presents--,confidants-- ,declarations--,asking ,pa--,refusals--,engagement--,breaking ,off-- ,marriage #aaj ,x4--,,parliamentary ,,etiquette4 ,courtesy in ,debate--,origin of the ,parliamentary ,code--,rules of ,order--,motions--,speaking--,submitting a ,question--,voting--,a ,quorum ,the ,democratic ,principle--,privileged ,questions--,order of ,business--,order of ,debate #aaf ,,xi4--,,miscellaneous ,,matters4 ,republican ,distinctions--,natural ,inequalities--,american ,toad ,eaters--,general ,lack of ,reverence for ,real ,nobility--,city and ,country--,imported ,manners--,fictitious ,titles--,a ,mirror for ,certain ,men--,washington's ,code of ,manners--,our ,social ,uniform--,a ,hint to the ,ladies--,an ,obliging ,disposition--,securing a ,home--,taste vs4 ,fashion--,special ,claims--,propriety of ,deportment--,false ,pride--,awkwardness of being ,dressed #abd ,,xii4--,,maxims ,,from ,,chesterfield4 ,cheerfulness and ,good ,humor--,the ,art of ,pleasing--,adaptation of ,manners--,bad ,habits--,do what you are ,about--,people who ,never ,learn--,local ,manners--,how to ,confer ,favors--,how to ,refuse-- ,spirit--,civility to ,women #ace ,,xiii4--,,illustrative ,,anecdotes4 ,elder ,blunt and ,sister ,scrub ,taking off the ,hat1 or ,john and his ,employer--,a ,learned ,man at ,table--,english ,women in ,high ,life-- ,say so1 if you ,please #aci ,,preface4 ,this is an honest and earnest little book1 if it has no other merit2 and has been prepared expressly for the use of the young people of our great ,republic1 whom it is designed to aid in becoming1 what we are convinced they all desire to be1 true ,american ladies and gentlemen4 ,desiring to make our readers something better than mere imitators of foreign manners1 often based on social conditions radically different from our own--something better than imitators of any manners1 in fact1 we have dwelt at greater length and with far more emphasis upon general principles1 than upon special observances1 though the latter have their place in our work4 ,it has been our first object to impress upon their minds the fact1 that good manners and good morals rest upon the same basis1 and that justice and benevolence can no more be satisfied without the one than without the other4 ,as in the other numbers of this series of ,hand-,books1 so in this1 we have aimed at usefulness rather than originality2 but our plan being radically different from that of most other manuals of etiquette1 we have been able to avail ourself to only a very limited extent of the labors of others1 except in the matter of mere conventional forms4 ,sensible of the imperfections of our work1 but hoping that it will do some acceptable service in the cause of good manners1 and aid1 in a humble way1 in the building up of a truly ,american and republican school of politeness1 we now submit it1 with great deference1 to a discerning public4 ,,introduction4 ,some one has defined politeness as only an elegant form of justice2 but it is something more4 ,it is the result of the combined action of all the moral and social feelings1 guided by judgment and refined by taste4 ,it requires the exercise of benevolence1 veneration 7in its human aspect71 adhesiveness1 and ideality1 as well as of conscientiousness4 ,it is the spontaneous recognition of human solidarity--the flowering of philanthropy--the fine art of the social passions4 ,it is to the heart what music is to the ear1 and painting and sculpture to the eye4 ,one can not commit a greater mistake than to make politeness a mere matter of arbitrary forms4 ,it has as real and permanent a foundation in the nature and relations of men and women1 as have government and the common law4 ,the civil code is not more binding upon us than is the code of civility4 ,portions of the former become1 from time to time1 inoperative--mere dead letters on the statute-book1 on account of the conditions on which they were founded ceasing to exist2 and many of the enactments of the latter lose their significance and binding force from the same cause4 ,many of the forms now in vogue1 in what is called fashionable society1 are of this character4 ,under the circumstances which called them into existence they were appropriate and beautiful2 under changed circumstances they are simply absurd4 ,there are other forms of observances over which time and place have no influence--which are always and everywhere binding4 ,politeness itself is always the same4 ,the rules of etiquette1 which are merely the forms in which it finds expression1 vary with time and place4 ,a sincere regard for the rights of others1 in the smallest matters as well as the largest1 genuine kindness of heart2 good taste1 and self-command1 which are the foundations of good manners1 are never out of fashion2 and a person who possesses them can hardly be rude or discourteous1 however far he may transgress conventional usages3 lacking these qualities1 the most perfect knowledge of the rules of etiquette and the strictest observance of them will not suffice to make one truly polite4 ,politeness1 says ,la ,bruyere1 seems to be a certain care1 by the manner of our words and actions1 to make others pleased with us and themselves4 ,this definition refers the matter directly to those qualities of mind and heart already enumerated as the foundations of good manners4 ,to the same effect is the remark of ,madame ,celnart1 that the grand secret of never-failing propriety of deportment is to have an intention of always doing right4 ,some persons have the instinct of courtesy so largely developed that they seem hardly to need culture at all4 ,they are equal to any occasion1 however novel4 ,they never commit blunders1 or if they do commit them1 they seem not to be blunders in them4 ,so there are those who sing1 speak1 or draw intuitively--by inspiration4 ,the great majority of us1 however1 must be content to acquire these arts by study and practice4 ,in the same way we must acquire the art of behavior1 so far as behavior is an art4 ,we must possess1 in the first place1 a sense of equity1 good-will toward our fellow-men1 kind feelings1 magnanimity and self-control4 ,cultivation will do the rest4 ,but we most never forget that manners as well as morals are founded on certain eternal principles1 and that while the letter killeth1 the spirit giveth life4 ,the account which ,lord ,chesterfield gives of the method by which he acquired the reputation of being the most polished man in ,england1 is a strong example of the efficacy of practice1 in view of which no one need despair4 ,he was naturally singularly deficient in that grace which afterward so distinguished him4 ,i had a strong desire1 he says1 to please1 and was sensible that ,i had nothing but the desire4 ,i therefore resolved1 if possible1 to acquire the means too4 ,i studied attentively and minutely the dress1 the air1 the manner1 the address1 and the turn of conversation of all those whom ,i found to be the people in fashion1 and most generally allowed to please4 ,i imitated them as well as ,i could3 if ,i heard that one man was reckoned remarkably genteel1 ,i carefully watched his dress1 motions1 and attitudes1 and formed my own upon them4 ,when ,i heard of another whose conversation was agreeable and engaging ,i listened and attended to the turn of it4 ,i addressed myself1 though de tres mauvaise grace with a very bad grace1 to all the most fashionable fine ladies2 confessed and laughed with them at my own awkwardness and rawness1 recommending myself as an object for them to try their skill in forming4 ,lord ,bacon says3 ,to attain good manners it almost sufficeth not to despise them1 and that if a man labor too much to express them1 he shall lose their grace1 which is to be natural and unaffected4 ,to these testimonies we may add the observation of ,la ,rochefoucauld1 that in manners there are no good copies1 for besides that the copy is almost always clumsy or exaggerated1 the air which is suited to one person sits ill upon another4 ,the greater must have been the genius of ,chesterfield which enabled him to make the graces of others his own1 appropriating them only so far as they fitted him1 instead of blindly and servilely imitating his models4 ,c4 ,p4 ,bronson truly says3 ,in politeness1 as in every thing else connected with the formation of character1 we are too apt to begin on the outside1 instead of the inside2 instead of beginning with the heart1 and trusting to that to form the manners1 many begin with the manners1 and leave the heart to chance and influences4 ,the golden rule contains the very life and soul of politeness3 ',do unto others as you would they should do unto you4' ,unless children and youth are taught1 by precept and example1 to abhor what is selfish1 and prefer another's pleasure and comfort to their own1 their politeness will be entirely artificial1 and used only when interest and policy dictate4 ,true politeness is perfect freedom and ease1 treating others just as you love to be treated4 ,nature is always graceful3 affectation1 with all her art1 can never produce any thing half so pleasing4 ,the very perfection of elegance is to imitate nature2 how much better to have the reality than the imitation6 ,anxiety about the opinions of others fetters the freedom of nature and tends to awkwardness2 all would appear well if they never tried to assume what they do not possess4 ,a writer in ,life ,illustrated1 to whose excellent observations on etiquette we shall have further occasion to refer1 contends that the instinct of courtesy is peculiarly strong in the ,american people4 ,it is shown1 he says1 in the civility which marks our intercourse with one another4 ,it is shown in the deference which is universally paid to the presence of the gentler sex4 ,it is shown in the excessive fear which prevails among us of offending public opinion4 ,it is shown in the very extravagances of our costume and decoration1 in our lavish expenditures upon house and equipage4 ,it is shown in the avidity with which every new work is bought and read which pretends to lay down the laws that govern the behavior of circles supposed to be1 par excellence1 polite4 ,it is shown in the fact1 that1 next to calling a man a liar1 the most offensive and stinging of all possible expressions is1 ',you are no gentleman6' ,he claims that this is a national trait1 and expresses the belief that every uncorrupt ,american man desires to be1 and to be thought1 a gentleman2 that every uncorrupt ,american woman desires to be1 and to be thought1 a lady4 ,but1 he adds1 the instinct of courtesy is not enough1 nor is opportunity equivalent to possession4 ,the truth is palpable1 that our men are not all gentlemen1 nor our women all ladies1 nor our children all docile and obliging4 ,in that small and insignificant circle which is called ',society1' which1 small and insignificant as it is1 gives the tone to the manners of the nation1 the chief efforts seem to be1 to cleanse the outside of the platter1 to conceal defects by gloss and glitter4 ,its theory of politeness and its maxims of behavior are drawn from a state of things so different from that which here prevails1 that they produce in us little besides an exaggerated ungracefulness1 a painful constraint1 a complete artificiality of conduct and character4 ,we are trying to shine in borrowed plumes4 ,we would glisten with foreign varnish4 ,to produce an effect is our endeavor4 ,we prefer to act1 rather than live4 ,the politeness which is based on sincerity1 good-will1 self-conquest1 and a minute1 habitual regard for the rights of others1 is not1 we fear1 the politeness which finds favor in the saloons upon which the upholsterer has exhausted the resources of his craft4 ,yet without possessing1 in a certain degree1 the qualities we have named1 no man ever did1 and no man ever will1 become a gentleman4 ,where they do not bear sway1 society may be brilliant in garniture1 high in pretension1 but it is intrinsically and incurably vulgar6 ,the utility of good manners is universally acknowledged perhaps1 but the extent to which genuine courtesy may be made to contribute to our success as well as our happiness is hardly realized4 ,we can not more satisfactorily illustrate this point than by quoting the following lesson of experience from the ,autobiography of the late ,dr4 ,caldwell1 the celebrated physician and phrenologist3 ,in the year #ahbe ,i made1 in ,london1 in a spirit of wager1 a decisive and satisfactory experiment as to the effect of civil and courteous manners on people of various ranks and descriptions4 ,there were in a place a number of young ,americans1 who often complained to me of the neglect and rudeness experienced by them from citizens to whom they spoke in the streets4 ,they asserted1 in particular1 that as often as they requested directions to any point in the city toward which they were proceeding1 they either received an uncivil and evasive answer1 or none at all4 ,i told them that my experience on the same subject had been exceedingly different3 that ,i had never failed to receive a civil reply to my questions--often communicating the information requested3 and that ,i could not help suspecting that their failure to receive similar answers arose1 in part at least1 if not entirely1 to the plainness1 not to say the bluntness1 of their manner in making their inquiries4 ,the correctness of this charge1 however1 they sturdily denied1 asserting that their manner of asking for information was good enough for those to whom they addressed themselves4 ,unable to convince them by words of the truth of my suspicions1 ,i proposed to them the following simple and conclusive experiment3 ',let us take together a walk of two or three hours in some of the public streets of the city4 ,you shall yourselves designate the persons to whom ,i shall propose questions1 and the subjects also to which the question shall relate2 and the only restriction imposed is1 that no question shall be proposed to any one who shall appear to be greatly hurried1 agitated1 distressed1 or any other way deeply preoccupied1 in mind or body1 and no one shall speak to the person questioned but myself4' ,my proposition being accepted1 out we sallied1 and to work we went2 and ,i continued my experiment until my young friends surrendered at discretion1 frankly acknowledging that my opinion was right1 and theirs1 of course was wrong2 and that1 in our passage through life1 courtesy of address and deportment may be made both a pleasant and powerful means to attain our ends and gratify our wishes4 ,i put questions to more than twenty persons of every rank1 from the high-bred gentleman to the servant in livery1 and received in every instance a satisfactory reply4 ,if the information asked for was not imparted1 the individual addressed gave an assurance of his at being unable to communicate it4 ,what seemed to surprise my friends was1 that the individuals accosted by me almost uniformly imitated my own manner4 ,if ,i uncovered my head1 as ,i did in speaking to a gentleman1 or even to a man of ordinary appearance and breeding1 he did the same in his reply2 and when ,i touched my hat to a liveried coachman or waiting man1 his hat was immediately under his arm4 ,so much may be done1 and such advantages gained1 by simply avoiding coarseness and vulgarity1 and being well bred and agreeable4 ,nor can the case be otherwise4 ,for the foundation of good breeding is good nature and good sense--two of the most useful and indispensable attributes of a well-constituted mind4 ,let it not be forgotten1 however1 that good breeding is not to be regarded as identical with politeness--a mistake which is too frequently1 if not generally1 committed4 ,a person may be exceedingly polite without the much higher and more valuable accomplishment of good breeding4 ,believing that the natural qualities essential to the character of the gentleman or the lady exist in a high degree among our countrymen and countrywomen1 and that they universally desire to develop these qualities1 and to add to them the necessary knowledge of all the truly significant and living forms and usages of good society1 we have written the work now before you4 ,we have not the vanity to believe that the mere reading of it will1 of itself1 convert an essentially vulgar person into a lady or a gentleman2 but we do hope that we have furnished those who most need it with available and efficient aid2 and in this hope we dedicate this little ,manual of ,republican ,etiquette to all who are1 or would be1 in the highest sense of these terms1 ,,true ,,republican ,,ladies ,,or ,,gentlemen ,,how ,,to ,,behave4 ,i4 ,,personal ,,habits4 ,attention to the person is the first necessity of good manners4--,anon4 ,i4--,,where ,,to ,,commence4 ,if you wish to commence aright the study of manners1 you must make your own person the first lesson4 ,if you neglect this you will apply yourself to those which follow with very little profit4 ,omit1 therefore1 any other chapter in the book rather than this4 ,the proper care and adornment of the person is a social as well as an individual duty4 ,you have a right to go about with unwashed hands and face1 and to wear soiled and untidy garments1 perhaps1 but you have no right to offend the senses of others by displaying such hands1 face1 and garments in society4 ,other people have rights as well as yourself1 and no right of yours can extend so far as to infringe theirs4 ,but we may safely assume that no reader of these pages wishes to render himself disgusting or even disagreeable or to cut himself off from the society of his fellow-men4 ,we address those who seek social intercourse and desire to please4 ,they will not think our words amiss1 even though they may seem rather personal2 since we have their highest good in view1 and speak in the most friendly spirit4 ,those who do not need our hints and suggestions under this head1 and to whom none of our remarks may apply1 will certainly have the courtesy to excuse them for the sake of those to whom they will be useful4 ,,ii4--,,cleanliness4 ,cleanliness is akin to godliness1 it is said4 ,it is not less closely related to gentility4 ,first of all1 then1 keep yourself scrupulously clean--not your hands and face merely1 but your whole person1 from the crown of your head to the sole of your foot4 ,silk stockings may hide dirty feet and ankles from the eye1 but they often reveal themselves to another sense1 when the possessor little dreams of such an exposure4 ,it is far better to dress coarsely and out of fashion and be strictly clean1 than to cover a dirty skin with the finest and richest clothing4 ,a coarse shirt or a calico dress is not necessarily vulgar1 but dirt is essentially so4 ,we do not here refer1 of course1 to one's condition while engaged in his or her industrial occupation4 ,soiled hands and even a begrimed face are badges of honor in the field1 the workshop1 or the kitchen1 but in a country in which soap and water abound1 there is no excuse for carrying them into the parlor or the dining-room4 ,a clean skin is as essential to health1 beauty1 and personal comfort as it is to decency2 and without health and that perfect freedom from physical disquiet which comes only from the normal action of all the functions of the bodily organs1 your behavior can never be satisfactory to yourself or agreeable to others4 ,let us urge you1 then1 to give this matter your first attention4 #a4 ,the ,daily ,bath4 ,to keep clean you must bathe frequently4 ,in the first place you should wash the whole body with pure soft water every morning on rising from your bed1 rubbing it till dry with a coarse towel1 and afterward using friction with the hands4 ,if you have not been at all accustomed to cold bathing1 commence with tepid water1 lowering the temperature by degrees till that which is perfectly cold becomes agreeable4 ,in warm weather1 comfort and cleanliness alike require still more frequent bathing4 ,mohammed made frequent ablutions a religious duty2 and in that he was right4 ,the rank and fetid odors which exhale from a foul skin can hardly be neutralized by the sweetest incense of devotion4 #b4 ,soap and ,water4 ,but the daily bath of which we have spoken is not sufficient4 ,in addition to the pores from which exudes the watery fluid called perspiration1 the skin is furnished with innumerable minute openings1 known as the sebaceous follicles1 which pour over its surface a thin limpid oil anointing it and rendering it soft and supple2 but also causing the dust as well as the effete matter thrown out by the pores to adhere1 and1 if allowed to accumulate1 finally obstructing its functions and causing disease4 ,it also1 especially in warm weather1 emits an exceedingly disagreeable odor4 ,pure cold water will not wholly remove these oily accumulations4 ,the occasional use of soap and warm or tepid water is therefore necessary2 but all washings with soapy or warm water should be followed by a thorough rinsing with pure cold water4 ,use good1 fine soap4 ,the common coarser kinds are generally too strongly alkaline and have an unpleasant effect upon the skin4 #c4 ,the ,feet4 ,the feet are particularly liable to become offensively odoriferous1 especially when the perspiration is profuse4 ,frequent washings with cold water1 with the occasional use of warm water and soap1 are absolutely necessary to cleanliness4 #d4 ,change of ,linen4 ,a frequent change of linen is another essential of cleanliness4 ,it avails little to wash the body if we inclose it the next minute in soiled garments4 ,it is not in the power of every one to wear fine and elegant clothes1 but we can all1 under ordinary circumstances1 afford clean shirts1 drawers1 and stockings4 ,never sleep in any garment worn during the day2 and your night-dress should be well aired every morning4 #e4 ,the ,nails4 ,you will not1 of course1 go into company1 or sit down to the table1 with soiled hands1 but unless you habituate yourself to a special care of them1 more or less dirt will be found lodged under the nails4 ,clean them carefully every time you wash your hands1 and keep them smoothly and evenly cut4 ,if you allow them to get too long they are liable to be broken off1 and become uneven and ragged1 and if you pare them too closely they fail to protect the ends of the fingers4 #f4 ,the ,head4 ,the head is more neglected1 perhaps1 than any other part of the body4 ,the results are not less disastrous here than elsewhere4 ,dandruff forms1 dust accumulates1 the scalp becomes diseased1 the hair grows dry1 and falls off and if the evil be not remedied1 premature baldness ensues4 ,the head should be thoroughly washed as often as cleanliness demands4 ,this will not injure the hair1 as many suppose1 but1 on the contrary1 will promote its growth and add to its beauty4 ,if soap is used1 however1 it should be carefully rinsed off4 ,if the hair is carefully and thoroughly brushed every morning1 it will not require very frequent washings4 ,if the scalp be kept in a healthy condition the hair will be moist1 glossy1 and luxuriant1 and no oil or hair wash will be required2 and these preparations generally do more harm than good4 ,night-caps are most unwholesome and uncleanly contrivances1 and should be discarded altogether4 ,they keep the head unnaturally warm1 shut out the fresh air1 and shut in those natural exhalations which should be allowed to pass off1 and thus weaken the hair and render it more liable to fall off4 ,ladies may keep their hair properly together during repose by wearing a net over it4 #g4 ,the ,teeth4 ,do not forget the teeth4 ,cleanliness1 health1 a pure breath1 and the integrity and durability of those organs require that they be thoroughly and effectually scoured with the tooth-brush dipped in soft water1 with the addition of a little soap1 if necessary1 every morning4 ,brush them outside and inside1 and in every possible direction4 ,you can not be too careful in this matter4 ,after brushing rinse your mouth with cold water4 ,a slighter brushing should be given them after each meal4 ,use an ivory tooth-pick or a quill to remove any particles of food that may be lodged between the teeth4 ,there are1 no doubt1 original differences in teeth1 as in other parts of the human system1 some being more liable to decay than others2 but the simple means we have pointed out1 if adopted in season and perseveringly applied1 will preserve almost any teeth1 in all their usefulness and reality1 till old age4 ,if yours have been neglected1 and some of them are already decayed1 hasten to preserve the remainder4 ,while you have any teeth left1 it is never too late to begin to take care of them2 and if you have children1 do not1 we entreat you1 neglect their teeth4 ,if the first or temporary teeth are cared for and preserved1 they will be mainly absorbed by the second or permanent ones1 and will drop out of themselves4 ,the others1 in that case1 will come out regular and even4 ,beware of the teeth-powders1 teeth-washes1 and the like1 advertised in the papers4 ,they are often even more destructive to the teeth than the substances they are intended to remove4 ,if any teeth-powder is required1 pure powdered charcoal is the best thing you can procure2 but if the teeth are kept clean1 in the way we have directed1 there will be little occasion for any other dentrifices than pure water and a little soap4 ,your tooth-brushes should be rather soft2 those which are too hard injuring both the teeth and the gums4 #h4 ,the ,breath4 ,a bad breath arises more frequently than otherwise from neglected and decayed teeth4 ,if it is occasioned by a foul stomach1 a pure diet1 bathing1 water injections1 and a general attention to the laws of health are required for its removal4 ,,iii4--,,eating ,,and ,,drinking4 ,whatever has a bearing upon health has at least an indirect connection with manners2 the reader will therefore excuse us for introducing here a few remarks which may seem1 at the first glance1 rather irrelevant4 ,sound lungs1 a healthy liver1 and a good digestion are as essential to the right performance of our social duties as they are to our own personal comfort2 therefore a few words on eating and drinking1 as affecting these1 will not be out of place4 #a4 ,what to ,eat4 ,an unperverted appetite is the highest authority in matters of diet4 ,in fact1 its decisions should be considered final1 and without the privilege of appeal4 ,nature makes no mistakes4 ,the plant selects from the soil which its roots permeate1 the chemical elements necessary to its growth and perfect development1 rejecting with unerring certainty every particle which would prove harmful or useless4 ,the wild animal chooses with equal certainty the various kinds of food adapted to the wants of its nature1 never poisoning itself by eating or drinking any thing inimical to its life and health4 ,the sense of taste and the wants of the system act in perfect harmony4 ,so it should be with man4 ,that which most perfectly gratifies the appetite should be the best adapted to promote health1 strength1 and beauty4 ,but appetite1 like all the other instincts or feelings of our nature1 is liable to become perverted1 and to lead us astray4 ,we acquire a relish for substances which are highly hurtful1 such as tobacco1 ardent spirits1 malt liquors1 and the like4 ,we have sought out many inventions1 to pander to false and fatal tastes1 and too often eat1 not to sustain life and promote the harmonious development of the system1 but to poison the very fountains of our being and implant in our blood the seeds of disease4 ,attend to the demands of appetite1 but use all your judgment in determining whether it is a natural1 undepraved craving of the system which speaks1 or an acquired and vicious taste1 and give or withhold accordingly2 and1 above all1 never eat when you have no appetite4 ,want of appetite is equivalent to the most authoritative command to eat nothing1 and we disregard it at our peril4 ,food1 no matter how wholesome1 taken into our stomachs under such circumstances1 instead of being digested and appropriated1 becomes rank poison4 ,eating without appetite is one of the most fatal of common errors4 ,we have no room1 even if we had the ability and the desire1 to discuss the comparative merits of the two opposing systems of diet--the vegetarian and the mixed4 ,we shall consider the question of flesh-eating an open one4 ,your food should be adapted to the climate1 season1 and your occupation4 ,in the winter and in northern climates a larger proportion of the fatty or carboniferous elements are required than in summer and in southern latitudes4 ,the ,esquimaux1 in his snow-built hut1 swallows immense quantities of train-oil1 without getting the dyspepsia2 still1 we do not recommend train-oil as an article of diet2 neither can we indorse the eating of pork in any form2 but these things are far less hurtful in winter than in summer1 and to those who labor in the open air than to the sedentary4 ,live well4 ,a generous diet promotes vitality and capability for action4 ,good cheer is friendly to health4 ,but do not confound a generous diet with what is usually called rich food4 ,let all your dishes be nutritious1 but plain1 simple1 and wholesome4 ,avoid highly seasoned viands and very greasy food at all times1 but particularly in warm weather1 also too much nutriment in the highly condensed forms of sugar1 syrup1 honey1 and the like4 ,if you eat flesh1 partake sparingly of it especially in summer4 ,we ,americans are the greatest flesh-eaters in the world1 and it is not unreasonable to believe that there may be some connection between this fact and the equally notorious one that we are the most unhealthy people in the world4 ,an untold amount of disease results from the too free use of flesh during the hot months4 ,heat promotes putrefaction2 and as this change in meat is very rapid in warm weather1 we can not be too careful not to eat that which is in the slightest degree tainted4 ,even when it goes into the stomach in a normal condition1 there is danger2 for if too much is eaten1 or the digestive organs are not sufficiently strong and active1 the process of putrefaction may commence in the stomach and diffuse a subtle poison through the whole system4 ,hot biscuits2 hot griddle cakes1 saturated with butter and ,stuart's syrup2 and hot coffee1 scarcely modified at all by the small quantity of milk usually added1 are among the most deleterious articles ever put upon a table4 ,while these continue to be the staples of our breakfasts1 healthy stomachs and clear complexions will be rare among us4 ,never eat or drink any thing ,,hot4 ,good bread is an unexceptionable article of diet4 ,the best is made of unbolted wheat flour4 ,a mixture of wheat and rye flour1 or of corn meal with either1 makes excellent bread4 ,the meal and flour should be freshly ground2 they deteriorate by being kept long4 ,if raised or fermented bread is required1 hop yeast is the best ferment that can be used4 ,for complete directions for bread-making1 see ,dr4 ,trall's ,hydropathic ,cook-,book4 ,the exclusive use of fine or bolted flour for bread1 biscuits1 and cakes of all kinds1 is exceedingly injurious to health4 ,the lignin or woody fiber which forms the bran of grains is just as essential to a perfect and healthful nutrition as are starch1 sugar1 gum1 and fibrin1 and the rejection of this element is one of the most mischievous errors of modern cookery4 ,johnny-cake1 or corn bread1 is an excellent article1 which is not yet fully appreciated4 ,it is palatable and wholesome4 ,hominy1 samp1 cracked wheat1 oatmeal mush1 and boiled rice should have a high place on your list of edibles4 ,beans and peas should be more generally eaten than they are4 ,they are exceedingly nutritious1 and very palatable4 ,in ,new ,england1 pork and beans hold the place of honor1 but elsewhere in this country they are almost unknown4 ,leaving out the pork 7which1 personally1 we hold in more than ,jewish abhorrence71 nothing can be better1 provided they are eaten in moderation and with a proper proportion of less nutritious food4 ,they should be well baked in pure1 soft water4 ,a sufficient quantity of salt to season them1 with the addition of a little sweet milk1 cream1 or butter while baking1 leaves nothing to be desired4 ,if meat is wanted1 however1 a slice of beefsteak1 laid upon the surface1 will serve a better purpose than pork4 ,potatoes1 beets1 turnips1 carrots1 parsneps1 and cabbages are good in their place4 ,but ,nature indicates very plainly that fruits and berries1 in their season1 should have a prominent place in our dietary4 ,they are produced in abundance1 and every healthy stomach instinctively craves them4 ,strawberries1 blackberries1 raspberries1 whortleberries1 cherries1 plums1 grapes1 figs1 apples1 pears1 peaches1 and melons are food fit for gods4 ,we pity those whose perverted taste or digestion leads to their rejection4 ,but some are afraid to eat fruits and berries1 particularly in midsummer1 just the time when nature and common sense say they should be eaten most freely4 ,they have the fear of cholera1 dysentery1 and similar diseases before their eyes1 and have adopted the popular but absurd idea that fruit eating predisposes to disorders of the stomach and bowels4 ,exactly the reverse is the fact4 ,there are no better preventives of such diseases than ripe fruits and berries1 eaten in proper quantities and at proper times ,unripe fruits should be scrupulously avoided1 and that which is in any measure decayed as scarcely less objectionable4 ,fruit and berries should make a part of every meal in summer4 ,in winter they are less necessary1 but may be eaten with advantage1 if within our reach2 and they are easily preserved in various ways4 ,we might write a volume on the subject of food1 but these general hints must suffice4 ,if you would pursue the inquiry1 read ,o4 ,s4 ,fowler's ,physiology1 ,animal and ,mental1 and the ,hydropathic ,cook-,book1 already referred to4 #b4 ,when to ,eat4 ,eat when the stomach1 through the instinct of appetite1 demands a new supply of food4 ,if all your habits are regular1 this will be at about the same hours each day2 and regularity in the time of taking our meals is very important4 ,want of attention to this point is a frequent cause of derangement of the digestive organs4 ,we can not stop to discuss the question how many meals per day we should eat2 but whether you eat one1 two1 or three1 never1 under ordinary circumstances1 take lunches4 ,the habit of eating between meals is a most pernicious one4 ,not even your children must be indulged in it1 as you value their health1 comfort1 and good behavior4 #c4 ,how ,much to ,eat4 ,we can not tell you1 by weight or measure1 how much to eat1 the right quantity depending much upon age1 sex1 occupation1 season1 and climate1 but the quantity is quite as important as the quality4 ,appetite would be a sure guide in both respects were it not so often perverted and diseased4 ,as a general rule1 we eat too much4 ,it is better to err in the other direction4 ,an uncomfortable feeling of fullness1 or of dullness and stupor after a meal is a sure sign of over-eating1 so whatever and whenever you eat1 eat slowly1 masticate your food well1 and ,,do ,,not ,,eat ,,too ,,much4 #d4 ,drink4 ,if we eat proper food1 and in proper quantity1 we are seldom thirsty4 ,inordinate thirst indicates a feverish state of either the stomach or the general system4 ,it is pretty sure to follow a too hearty meal4 ,water is the proper drink for everybody and for every thing that lives or grows4 ,it should be pure and soft4 ,many diseases arise wholly from the use of unwholesome water4 ,if you drink tea 7which we do not recommend71 let it be the best of black tea1 and not strong4 ,coffee1 if drunk at all1 should be diluted with twice its quantity of boiled milk1 and well sweetened with white sugar4 ,,iv4--,,breathing4 ,breathing is as necessary as eating4 ,if we cease to breathe1 our bodies cease to live4 ,if we only half breathe1 as is often the case1 we only half live4 ,the human system requires a constant supply of oxygen to keep up the vital processes which closely resemble combustion1 of which oxygen is the prime supporter4 ,if the supply is insufficient1 the fire of life wanes4 ,the healthy condition of the lungs also requires that they be completely expanded by the air inhaled4 ,the imperfect breathing of many persons fails to accomplish the required inflation1 and the lungs become diseased for want of their natural action4 ,full1 deep breathing and pure air are as essential to health1 happiness1 and the right performance of our duties1 whether individual1 political1 or social1 as pure food and temperate habits of eating and drinking are4 ,attend1 then1 to the lungs as well as the stomach4 ,breathe good air4 ,have all your rooms1 and especially your sleeping apartment well ventilated4 ,the air which has been vitiated by breathing or by the action of fire1 which abstracts the oxygen and supplies its place with carbonic acid gas1 is a subtle poison4 ,v4--,,exercise4 ,the amount of physical exercise required varies with age1 sex1 and temperament2 but no person can enjoy vigorous health without a considerable degree of active bodily exertion4 ,four or five hours per day spent in the open air1 in some labor or amusement which calls for the exercise of the muscles of the body1 is probably no more than a proper average4 ,we can live with less--that is1 for a short time2 but ,nature's laws are inexorable1 and we can not escape the penalty affixed to their violation4 ,those whose occupations are sedentary should seek amusements which require the exertion of the physical powers1 and should spend as much as possible of their leisure time in the open air4 ,we must1 however1 use good judgment in this matter as well as in eating4 ,too much exercise at once1 or that which is fitful and violent1 is often exceedingly injurious to those whose occupations have accustomed them to little physical exertion of any kind4 ,the women of our country are suffering incalculably for want of proper exercise4 ,no other single cause perhaps is doing so much to destroy health and beauty1 and deteriorate the race1 as this4 ,your women are very handsome1 ,frederika ,bremer said1 one day1 but they are too white2 they look as if they grew in the shade4 ,a sad truth4 ,ladies1 if you would be healthy1 beautiful1 and attractive--if you would fit yourselves to be good wives1 and the mothers of strong and noble men1 you must take an adequate amount of exercise in the open air4 ,this should be an every-day duty4 ,,vi4--,,the ,,complexion4 ,every person1 and especially every lady1 desires a clear complexion4 ,to secure this1 follow the foregoing directions in reference to cleanliness1 eating1 drinking1 breathing1 and exercise4 ,the same recipe serves for ruby lips and rosy cheeks4 ,these come and go with health1 and health depends upon obedience to the laws of our constitution4 ,,vii4--,,general ,,hints4 ,few of us are free from disagreeable habits of which we are hardly conscious1 so seemingly natural have they become to us4 ,it is the office of friendship1 though not always a pleasant one1 to point them out4 ,it is our business to assume that office here1 finding our excuse in the necessity of the case4 ,our bad habits not only injure ourselves1 but they give offense to others1 and indirectly injure them also4 #a4 ,tobacco4 ,ladies1 in this country1 do not use tobacco1 so they may skip this section4 ,a large and increasing number of gentlemen may do the same2 but if you use tobacco1 in any forth1 allow us to whisper a useful hint or two in your ear4 ,smoking1 snuff-taking1 and especially chewing1 are bad habits at best1 and in their coarser forms highly disgusting to pure and refined people1 and especially to ladies4 ,you have the same right to smoke1 take snuff1 and chew that you have to indulge in the luxuries of a filthy skin and soiled garments1 but you have no right1 in either case1 to do violence to the senses and sensibilities of other people by their exhibition in society4 ,smoke if you will1 chew1 take snuff 7against our earnest advice1 however71 make yourself generally and particularly disagreeable1 but you must suffer the consequences--the social outlawry which must result4 ,shall we convert our parlors into tobacco shops1 risk the ruin of our carpets and furniture from the random shots of your disgusting saliva1 and fill the whole atmosphere of our house with a pungent stench1 to the discomfort and disgust of everybody else1 merely for the pleasure of your company8 ,we have rights as well as you1 one of which is to exclude from our circle all persons whose manners or habits are distasteful to us4 ,you talk of rights4 ,you can not blame others for exercising theirs4 ,there are degrees here as everywhere else4 ,one may chew a little1 smoke an occasional cigar1 and take a pinch of snuff now and then1 and if he never indulges in these habits in the presence of others1 and is very careful to purify his person before going into company1 he may confine the bad effects1 which he can not escape1 mostly to his own person4 ,but he must not smoke in any parlor1 or sitting-room1 or dining-room1 or sleeping chamber1 or in the street1 and particularly not in the presence of ladies1 anywhere4 #b4 ,spitting4 ,the use of tobacco has made us a nation of spitters1 as some one has truly remarked4 ,spitting is a private act1 and tobacco users are not alone in violating good taste and good manners by hawking and spitting in company4 ,you should never be seen to spit4 ,use your handkerchief carefully and so as not to be noticed1 or1 in case of necessity1 leave the room4 #c4 ,gin and ,gentility4 ,the spirit and tenor of our remarks on tobacco will apply to the use of ardent spirits4 ,the fumes of gin1 whisky1 and rum are1 if possible1 worse than the scent of tobacco4 ,they must on no account be brought into company4 ,if a man 7this is another section which women may skip7 will make a beast of himself1 and fill his blood with liquid poison1 he must1 if he desires admission into good company1 do it either privately or with companions whose senses and appetites are as depraved as his own4 #d4 ,onions1 etc4 ,all foods or drinks which taint the breath or cause disagreeable eructations should be avoided by persons going into company4 ,onions emit so very disagreeable an odor that no truly polite person will eat them when liable to inflict their fumes upon others4 ,particular care should be taken to guard against a bad breath from any cause4 #e4 ,several ,items4 ,never pare or scrape your nails1 pick your teeth1 comb your hair1 or perform any of the necessary operations of the toilet in company4 ,all these things should be carefully attended to in the privacy of your own room4 ,to pick the nose1 dig the ears1 or scratch the head or any part of the person in company is still worse4 ,watch yourself carefully1 and if you have any such habits1 break them up at once4 ,these may seem little things1 but they have their weight1 and go far in determining the character of the impression we make upon those around us4 ,,ii4 ,,dress4 ,from little matters let us pass to less1 ,and lightly touch the mysteries of dress2 ,the outward forms the inner man reveal2 ,we guess the pulp before we eat the peel4--,o4 ,w4 ,holmes4 ,i4--,,the ,,language ,,of ,,dress4 ,dress has its language1 which is1 or may be1 read and understood by all4 ,it is one of the forms in which we naturally give expression to our tastes1 our constructive faculties1 our reason1 our feelings1 our habits--in a word1 to our character1 as a whole4 ,this expression is often greatly modified by the arbitrary laws of ,fashion1 and by circumstances of time1 place1 and condition1 which we can not wholly control2 but can hardly be entirely falsified4 ,even that arch tyrant1 the reigning ,mode1 whatever it may be1 leaves us little room for choice in materials1 forms1 and colors1 and the choice we make indicates our prominent traits of character4 ,,ii4--,,the ,,uses ,,of ,,dress4 ,dress1 that admirable ,art ,journal the ,crayon says1 has two functions--to clothe and to ornament2 and while we can not lose sight of either point1 we must not attribute to the one a power which belongs to the other4 ,the essential requirement of dress is to cover and make comfortable the body1 and of two forms of dress which fulfill this function equally well1 that is the better which is most accordant with the laws of beauty4 ,but fitness must in nowise be interfered with2 and the garb which infringes on this law gives us pain rather than pleasure4 ,we believe that it will be found that fitness and beauty1 so far from requiring any sacrifice for combination1 are found each in the highest degree where both are most fully obtained--that the fittest1 most comfortable dress is that which is most graceful or becoming4 ,fitness is the primary demand2 and the dress that appears uncomfortable is untasteful4 ,but in the secondary function of dress1 ornamentation1 there are several diverse objects to be attained--dignity1 grace1 vivacity1 brilliancy1 are qualities distinguishing different individuals1 and indicating the impression they wish to make on society1 and are expressed by different combinations of the elements of beauty1 line1 or form1 and color4 ,when the appareling of the outer being is in most complete harmony with the mental constitution1 the taste is fullest4 ,,iii4--,,the ,,art ,,of ,,dress4 ,true art adapts dress to its uses1 as indicated in the foregoing extract4 ,it is based on universal principles fundamental to all art4 ,the art-writer already quoted says1 very truly1 that ,dress is always to be considered as secondary to the person4 ,this is a fundamental maxim in the art of costume1 but is often lost sight of1 and dress made obtrusive at the expense of the individuality of the wearer4 ,a man's vest or cravat must not seem a too important part of him4 ,dress may heighten beauty1 but it can not create it4 ,if you are not better and more beautiful than your clothes you are1 indeed1 a man or a woman of straw4 ,the next principle to be regarded is the fitness of your costume1 in its forms materials1 and colors1 to your person and circumstances1 and to the conditions of the time1 place and occasion on which it is to be worn4 ,fashion often compels us to violate this principle1 and dress in the most absurd1 incongruous1 unbecoming1 and uncomfortable style4 ,a little more self-respect and independence1 however1 would enable us to resist many of her most preposterous enactments4 ,but ,fashion is not responsible for all the incongruities in dress with which we meet4 ,they are often the result of bad taste and affectation4 ,the first demand of this law of fitness is1 that your costume shall accord with your person4 ,the young and the old1 we all instinctively know1 should not dress alike4 ,neither should the tall and the short1 the dark and the light1 the pale and the rosy1 the grave and the gay1 the tranquil and the vivacious4 ,each variety of form1 color1 and character has its appropriate style2 but our space here is too limited to allow us to do more than drop a hint toward what each requires1 to produce the most harmonious and effective combination4 ,in another work1,a now in the course of preparation1 this important subject will be treated in detail4 ,in form1 simplicity and long1 unbroken lines give dignity1 while complicated and short lines express vivacity4 ,curves1 particularly if long and sweeping1 give grace while straight lines and angles indicate power and strength4 ,in color1 unity of tint gives repose--if somber1 gravity but if light and clear1 then a joyous serenity--variety of tint giving vivacity1 and if contrasted1 brilliancy4 ,longitudinal stripes in a lady's dress make her appear taller than she really is1 and are therefore appropriate for persons of short stature4 ,tall women1 for this reason1 should never wear them4 ,flounces are becoming to tall persons1 but not to short ones4 ,the colors worn should be determined by the complexion1 and should harmonize with it4 ,ladies with delicate rosy complexions bear white and blue better than dark colors1 while sallow hues of complexion will not bear these colors near them1 and require dark1 quiet1 or grave colors to improve their appearance4 ,yellow is the most trying and dangerous of all1 and can only be worn by the rich-toned1 healthy-looking brunette4 ,in the second place1 there should be harmony between your dress and your circumstances4 ,it should accord with your means1 your house1 your furniture1 the place in which you reside1 and the society in which you move4 ,thirdly1 your costume should be suited to the time1 place1 and occasion on which it is to be worn4 ,that summer clothes should not be worn in winter1 or winter clothes in summer1 every one sees clearly enough4 ,the law of fitness as imperatively demands that you should have one dress for the kitchen1 the field1 or the workshop1 and another1 and quite a different one1 for the parlor2 one for the street and another for the carriage1 one for a ride on horseback and another for a ramble in the country4 ,long1 flowing1 and even trailing skirts are beautiful and appropriate in the parlor1 but in the muddy streets1 draggling in the filth1 and embarrassing every movement of the wearer1 or in the country among the bushes and briers1 they lose all their beauty and grace1 because no longer fitting4 ,the prettiest costume we have ever seen for a shopping excursion or a walk in the city1 and especially for a ramble in the country1 is a short dress or frock reaching to the knee1 and trowsers of the common pantaloon form1 but somewhat wider4 ,full ,turkish trowsers might be worn with this dress1 but are less convenient4 ,the waist or body of the dress is made with a yoke and belt1 and pretty full4 ,the sleeves should be gathered into a band and buttoned at the wrist4 ,a saque or a basque of a different color from the waist has a fine effect as a part of this costume4 ,add to it a gipsy hat and good substantial shoes or boots1 and you may walk with ease1 grace1 and pleasure4 ,this was the working and walking costume of the women of the ,north ,american ,phalanx1 and is still worn on the domain which once belonged to that ,association1 though the institution which gave it its origin has ceased to exist4 ,if you reside in a place where you can adopt this as your industrial and walking costume1 without too much notoriety and odium1 try it4 ,you must judge of this for yourself4 ,we are telling you what is fitting1 comfortable1 and healthful1 and therefore1 in its place1 beautiful1 and not what it is expedient for you to wear4 ,the time is coming when such a costume may be worn anywhere4 ,rational independence1 good taste1 and the study of art are preparing the way for the complete overthrow of arbitrary fashion4 ,help us to hasten the time when both women and men shall be permitted to dress as the eternal principles1 harmony1 and beauty dictate1 and be no longer the slaves of the tailor and the dressmaker4 ,but without adopting any innovations liable to shock staid conservatism or puritanic prudery1 you may still1 in a good measure1 avoid the incongruities which we are now compelled to witness1 and make your costume accord with place and occupation4 ,in the field1 garden1 and workshop1 gentlemen can wear nothing more comfortable and graceful than the blouse4 ,it may be worn loose or confined by a belt4 ,if your occupation is a very dusty one1 wear overalls4 ,in the counting-room and office1 gentlemen wear frock-coats or sack coats4 ,they need not be of very fine material1 and should not be of any garish pattern4 ,in your study or library1 and about the house generally1 on ordinary occasions1 a handsome dressing-gown is comfortable and elegant4 ,a lady1 while performing the morning duties of her household may wear a plain loose dress1 made high in the neck1 and with long sleeves fastened at the wrist4 ,it must not look slatternly1 and may be exceedingly beautiful and becoming4 ,in reference to ornament1 the law of dress1 to quote our artist-friend again1 is1 that where you want the eye of a spectator to rest 7for we all dress for show71 you should concentrate your decoration1 leaving the parts of the apparel to which you do not want attention called1 as plain and negative as possible--not ugly1 as some people1 in an affectation of plainness1 do 7for you have no right to offend the eye of your fellow-man with any thing which is ugly71 but simply negative4 ,,iv4--,,materials1 ,,etc4 ,the materials of which your clothes are made should be the best that your means will allow4 ,one generally exercises a very bad economy and worse taste in wearing low-priced and coarse materials4 ,for your working costume1 the materials should of course correspond with the usage to which they are to be subjected4 ,they should be strong and durable1 but need not therefore be either very coarse or at all ugly4 ,as a general rule1 it costs no more to dress well than ill4 ,a gentleman's shirts should always be fine1 clean1 and well-fitted4 ,it is better to wear a coarse or threadbare coat than a disreputable shirt4 ,the better taste and finer instincts of the ladies will require no hint in reference to their most intimate appareling4 ,true taste1 delicacy1 and refinement regards the under clothing as scrupulously as that which is exposed to view4 ,the coverings of the head and the feet are important and should by no means be inferior to the rest of your apparel4 ,shoes are better than boots1 except in cases where the latter are required for the protection of the feet and ankles against water1 snow1 or injury from briers1 brambles1 and the like4 ,ladies' shoes for walking should be substantial enough to keep the feet dry and warm4 ,if neatly made1 and well-fitting1 they need not be clumsy4 ,thin shoes1 worn on the damp ground or pavement1 have carried many a beautiful woman to her grave4 ,if you wish to have corns and unshapely feet1 wear tight shoes2 they never fail to produce those results4 ,the fashionable fur hat1 in its innumerable but always ugly forms1 is1 in the eye of taste1 an absurd and unsightly covering for the head2 and it is hardly less uncomfortable and unhealthful than ugly4 ,the fine1 soft1 and more picturesque felt hats now1 we are glad to say1 coming more and more into vogue1 are far more comfortable and healthful4 ,a light1 fine straw hat is the best for summer4 ,the bonnets of the ladies1 in their fashionable forms1 are only a little less ugly and unbecoming than the fur hats of the gentlemen4 ,a broad-brimmed or gipsy hat is far more becoming to most women than the common bonnet4 ,we hope to live to see both stove-pipe hats and sugar-scoop bonnets abolished2 but1 in the mean time let those wear them who must4 ,v4--,,mrs4 ,,manners ,,on ,,dress4 ,mrs4 ,manners1 the highest authority we can possibly quote in such matters1 has the following hints to girls1 which we can not deny ourselves the pleasure of copying1 though they may seem1 in part1 a repetition of remarks already made3 ,good taste is indispensable in dress1 but that1 united to neatness1 is all that is necessary--that is the fabled cestus of ,venus which gave beauty to its wearer4 ,good taste involves suitable fabrics--a neat and becoming 'fitting' to her figure--colors suited to her complexion1 and a simple and unaffected manner of wearing one's clothes4 ,a worsted dress in a warm day1 or a white one in a cold day1 or a light1 thin one in a windy day1 are all in bad taste4 ,very fine or very delicate dresses worn in the street1 or very highly ornamented clothes worn to church or to shop in1 are in bad taste4 ,very long dresses worn in muddy or dusty weather1 even if long dresses are the fashion1 are still in bad taste4 ,deep and bright-colored gloves are always in bad taste2 very few persons are careful enough in selecting gloves4 ,light shoes and dark dresses1 white stockings and dark dresses1 dark stockings and light dresses1 are not indicative of good taste4 ,a girl with neatly and properly dressed feet1 with neat1 well-fitting gloves1 smoothly arranged hair1 and a clean1 well-made dress1 who walks well1 and speaks well1 and1 above all1 acts politely and kindly1 is a lady1 and no wealth is required here4 ,fine clothes and fine airs are abashed before such propriety and good taste4 ,thus the poorest may be so attired as to appear as lady-like as the wealthiest2 nothing is more vulgar than the idea that money makes a lady1 or that fine clothes can do it4 ,,vi4--,,wearing ,,the ,,hair ,,and ,,beard4 ,the hair and beard1 in one of their aspects1 belong to the dress4 ,in reference to the style of wearing them1 consult the general principles of taste4 ,a man to whom nature has given a handsome beard1 deforms himself sadly by shaving--at least1 that is our opinion2 and on this point fashion and good taste agree4 ,the full beard is now more common than the shaven face in all our large cities4 ,in the dressing of the hair there is room for the display of a great deal of taste and judgment4 ,the style should vary with the different forms of face4 ,lardner's ,young ,ladies' ,manual has the following hints to the gentler sex4 ,gentlemen can modify them to suit their case3 ,after a few experiments1 a lady may very easily decide what mode of dressing her hair1 and what head-dress renders her face most attractive4 ,ringlets hanging about the forehead suit almost every one4 ,on the other hand1 the fashion of putting the hair smoothly1 and drawing it back on either side1 is becoming to few2 it has a look of vanity instead of simplicity3 the face must do every thing for it1 which is asking too much1 especially as hair1 in its pure state1 is the ornament intended for it by nature4 ,hair is to the human aspect what foliage is to the landscape4 ,light hair is generally most becoming when curled4 ,for a round face1 the curls should be made in short1 half ringlets1 reaching a little below the ears4 ,for an oval face1 long and thick ringlets are suitable2 but if the face be thin and sharp1 the ringlets should be light1 and not too long1 nor too many in number4 ,when dark hair is curled1 the ringlets should never fall in heavy masses upon the shoulders4 ,open braids are very beautiful when made of dark hair2 they are also becoming to light-haired persons4 ,a simple and graceful mode of arranging the hair is to fold the front locks behind the ears1 permitting the ends to fall in a couple of ringlets on either side behind4 ,another beautiful mode of dressing the hair1 and one very appropriate in damp weather1 when it will keep in curl1 is to loop up the ringlets with small hair-pins on either side of the face and behind the ears1 and pass a light band of braided hair over them4 ,persons with very long1 narrow heads may wear the hair knotted very low at the back of the neck4 ,if the head be long1 but not very narrow1 the back hair may be drawn to one side1 braided in a thick braid1 and wound around the head4 ,when the head is round1 the hair should be formed in a braid in the middle of the back of the head4 ,if the braid be made to resemble a basket1 and a few curls permitted to fall from within it1 the shape of the head is much improved4 ,,vii4--,,art ,,vs4 ,,fashion4 ,observe that we have been laying down some of the maxims deduced from the principles of art and taste1 in their application to dress1 and not promulgating the edicts of ,fashion4 ,if there is a lack of harmony on some points1 between the two1 it is not our fault4 ,we have endeavored to give you some useful hints in reference to the beautiful and the fitting in costume1 based on a higher law than the enactments of the fashion-makers4 ,you must judge for yourself how far you can make the latter bend to the former4 ,we have been talking of dress as an individual matter4 ,in future chapters we shall have occasion to refer to it in its relation to the usages of society4 ,,viii4--,,signs ,,of ,,the ,,good ,,time ,,coming4 ,n4 ,p4 ,willis1 in the ,home ,journal1 writing on the dress-reform agitation1 thus closes his disquisition3 ,we repeat1 that we see signs which look to us as if the present excitement as to one fashion were turning into a universal inquiry as to the sense or propriety of any fashion at all4 ,when the subject shall have been fully discussed1 and public attention fully awakened1 common sense will probably take the direction of the matter1 and opinion will settle in some shape which1 at least1 may reject former excesses and absurdities4 ,some moderate similarity of dress is doubtless necessary1 and there are proper times and places for long dresses and short dresses4 ,these and other points the ladies are likely to come to new decisions about4 ,while they consult health1 cleanliness1 and convenience1 however1 we venture to express a hope that they will get rid of the present slavish uniformity--that what is becoming to each may be worn without fear of unfashionableness1 and that in this way we may see every woman dressed somewhat differently and to her own best advantage1 and the proportion of beauty largely increased1 as it would1 thereby1 most assuredly be4 ,,footnote3 ,a ,hints toward ,physical ,perfection2 or1 ,how to ,acquire and ,retain ,beauty1 ,grace1 and ,strength1 and ,secure ,long ,life and ,perpetual ,youth4 ,,iii4 ,,self-,,culture ,there is no man who can so easily and so naturally become in all points a ,gentleman ,knight1 without fear and without reproach1 as a true ,american ,republican4--,james ,parton4 ,i4-,,moral ,,and ,,social ,,training4 ,having given due attention to your personal habits and dress1 consider what special errors still remain to be corrected1 or what deficiencies to be supplied1 and carefully and perseveringly apply yourself to the required self-training4 ,if you are sensible of an inadequate development of any of those faculties or feelings on which good manners are based1 set yourself at once about the work of cultivation1 remembering that the legitimate exercise of any organ or function necessarily tends to its development4 ,look first to conscientiousness4 ,it is hardly possible for you to acquire genuine good manners without an acute sense of equity4 ,accustom yourself to a sacred regard for the rights of others1 even in the minutest matters1 and in the most familiar intercourse of the family or social circle4 ,in a similar manner cultivate ,benevolence1 ,veneration1 ,adhesiveness1 ,agreeableness1 ,ideality1 and the moral1 social1 and esthetic faculties in general4 ,go out of your way1 if necessary1 to perform acts of kindness and friendship2 never omit the thank you which is due for the slightest possible favor1 whether rendered by the highest or the lowest2 be always bland and genial2 respect times1 places1 observances1 and especially persons2 and put yourself in the way of all possible elevating and refining influences4 ,manners have their origin in the mind and the heart4 ,manners do not make the man1 as is sometimes asserted2 but the man makes the manners4 ,it is true1 however1 that the manners react upon mind and heart1 continually developing and improving the qualities out of which they spring4 ,you are placed in a particular community1 or you are invited or wish to gain admittance into a certain circle4 ,different communities and circles require1 to some extent1 different qualifications4 ,ascertain what you lack and acquire it as speedily as possible2 but remember that good sense and good nature are out of place in no company4 ,,ii4--,,language4 ,conversation plays an important part in the intercourse of society4 ,it is a great and valuable accomplishment to be able to talk well4 ,cultivate language and the voice4 ,learn to express yourself with correctness1 ease1 and elegance4 ,this subject is worthy of all the time and study you can give to it4 ,how to ,talk3 a ,pocket ,manual of ,conversation and ,debate1 which forms one of this series of ,hand-,books for ,home ,improvement1 will give you all necessary aid in this department4 ,,iii4--,,position ,,and ,,movement4 ,study also the graces of manner1 motion1 and position4 ,grace is natural1 no doubt1 but most of us have nearly lost sight of nature4 ,it is often with the greatest difficulty that we find our way back to her paths4 ,it seems a simple and easy thing to walk1 and a still easier and simpler thing to stand or sit1 but not one in twenty perform either of these acts with ease and grace4 ,there are a hundred little things connected with attitude1 movement1 the carriage of the arms1 the position of the feet and the like1 which1 though seemingly unimportant are really essential to elegance and ease4 ,never despise these little things1 or be ashamed to acquire the smallest grace by study and practice4 ,you desire to be a person of good standing in society4 ,how do you stand8 ,we refer now to the artistic or esthetic point of view4 ,if you are awkward1 you are more likely to manifest your awkwardness in standing than in walking4 ,do you know where to put your feet and what to do with your hands8 ,in the absence of any better rule or example1 try to forget your limbs1 and let them take care of themselves4 ,but observe the attitudes which sculptors give to their statues2 and study also those of children1 which are almost always graceful1 because natural4 ,avoid1 on the one hand1 the stiffness of the soldier1 and1 on the other1 the ape-like suppleness of the dancing-master2 and let there be no straining1 no fidgeting1 no uneasy shifting of position4 ,you should stand on both feet1 bearing a little more heavily on one than the other4 ,the same general principles apply to the sitting posture4 ,this may be either graceful1 dignified1 and elegant1 or awkward1 abject1 and uncouth4 ,the latter class of qualities may be got rid of and the former acquired1 and depend upon it1 it is a matter of some consequence which of them characterizes your position and movements4 ,walking is not so difficult an accomplishment as standing and sitting1 but should receive due attention4 ,it has a very close connection with character1 and either of them may be improved or deteriorated through the other4 ,a close observer and a sensible and trustworthy monitor of their own sex thus enumerates some of the common faults of women in their carriage1 or manner of walking3 ,slovenliness in walking characterizes some4 ,they go shuffling along1 precisely as if their shoes were down at the heel--slipshod--and they could not lift up their feet in consequence4 ,if it is dusty or sandy1 they kick up the dust before them and fill their skirts with it4 ,this is exceedingly ungraceful4 ,if ,i were a gentleman1 ,i really do not think ,i could marry a lady who walked like this2 she would appear so very undignified1 and ,i could not be proud of her4 ,some have another awkwardness4 ,they lift up their feet so high that their knees are sent out before them showing the movement through the dress4 ,they always seem to be leaving their skirts behind them1 instead of carrying them gracefully about them4 ,some saunter along so loosely they seem to be hung on wires2 others are as stiff as if they supposed only straight lines were agreeable to the eye2 and others1 again1 run the chin forward considerably in advance of the breast1 looking very silly and deficient in self-respect4 ,sometimes a lady walks so as to turn up her dress behind every time she puts her foot back1 and ,i have seen a well-dressed woman made to look very awkward by elevating her shoulders slightly and pushing her elbows too far behind her4 ,some hold their hands up to the waist1 and press their arms against themselves as tightly as if they were glued there2 others swing them backward and forward1 as a business man walks along the street4 ,too short steps detract from dignity very much1 forming a mincing pace2 too long steps are masculine4 ,some walk upon the ball of the foot very flatly and clumsily2 others come down upon the heel as though a young elephant was moving2 and others1 again1 ruin their shoes and their appearance by walking upon the side of the foot4 ,many practice a stoop called the ,grecian bend1 and when they are thirty1 will pass well1 unless the face be seen1 for fifty years' old4 ,gymnastics1 dancing1 and the military drill are excellent auxiliaries in the work of physical training1 though all of them may be1 and constantly are1 abused4 ,we can not illustrate their application here4 ,they will receive the attention they deserve in ,hints toward ,physical ,perfection1 already referred to as in preparation4 ,,iv4--,,self-,,command4 ,without perfect self-control you are constantly liable to do something amiss1 and your other social qualifications will avail little4 ,you must not only be fully conscious who you are1 what you are1 where you are1 and what you are about1 but you must also have an easy and complete control of all your words and actions1 and feel at home wherever you are4 ,you are liable to lose this self-command either through bashfulness or excitement4 ,the former is one of the greatest obstacles with which a majority of young people have to contend4 ,it can be overcome by resolute effort and the cultivation of self-respect and self-reliance4 ,do not allow it to keep you out of society4 ,you will not conquer it by such a course4 ,you might as reasonably expect to learn to swim without going into the water4 ,v4--,,observation4 ,one of the best means of improvement in manners is observation4 ,in company1 where you are in doubt in reference to any rule or form1 be quiet and observe what others do1 and govern your conduct by theirs2 but except in mere external forms1 beware of a servile imitation4 ,seek to understand the principles which underlie the observances you witness1 and to become imbued with the spirit of the society 7if good7 in which you move1 rather than to copy particulars in the manners of any one4 ,,vi4--,,practical ,,lessons4 ,but the most important instrumentality for the promotion of the externals of good manners is constant practice in the actual every-day intercourse of society2 and without this our instructions and your study will both be thrown away4 ,begin now1 to-day1 with the next person you meet or address4 ,,iv4 ,,fundamental ,,principles4 ,courtesy is the beautiful part of morality1 justice carried to the utmost1 rectitude refined1 magnanimity in trifles4--,life ,illustrated4 ,i4--,,manners ,,and ,,morals4 ,good manners and good morals are founded on the same eternal principles of right1 and are only different expressions of the same great truths4 ,both grow out of the necessities of our existence and relations4 ,we have individual rights based on the fact of our individual being2 and we have social duties resulting from our connection1 in the bonds of society1 with other individuals who have similar rights4 ,morals and manners alike1 while they justify us in asserting and maintaining our own rights1 require us scrupulously to respect1 in word and act1 the rights of others4 ,it is true that the former1 in the common comprehension of the term1 is satisfied with simple justice in all our relations1 while the latter often requires something more than the strictest conscientiousness can demand--a yielding of more than half the road--an exercise of the sentiment of benevolence1 as well as of equity2 but the highest morality really makes the same requisition1 for it includes politeness1 and recognizes deeds of kindness as a duty4 ,,ii4--,,rights4 ,in this country we need no incitements to the assertion and maintenance of our rights1 whether individual or national4 ,we are ready at all times to do battle for them either with the tongue1 the pen1 or the sword1 as the case may require4 ,even women have discovered that they have rights1 and he must be a bold man indeed who dares call them in question4 ,yes1 we all1 men1 women1 and children1 have rights1 and are forward enough in claiming then4 ,are we equally ready to respect the rights of others8 ,,iii4--,,duties4 ,out of rights grow duties2 the first of which is to live an honest1 truthful1 self-loyal life1 acting and speaking always and everywhere in accordance with the laws of our being1 as revealed in our own physical and mental organization4 ,it is by the light of this fact that we must look upon all social requirements1 whether in dress1 manners1 or morals4 ,all that is fundamental and genuine in these will be found to harmonize with universal principles1 and consequently with our primary duty in reference to ourselves4 #a4 ,the ,senses4 ,whenever and wherever we come in contact with our fellow-men1 there arises a question of rights1 and consequently of duties4 ,we have alluded incidentally to some of them1 in speaking of habits and dress4 ,the senses of each individual have their rights1 and it is your duty to respect them4 ,the eye has a claim upon you for so much of beauty in form1 color1 arrangement1 position1 and movement as you are able to present to it4 ,a ,french author has written a book1 the aim of which is to show that it is the duty of a pretty woman to look pretty4 ,it is the duty of all women1 and all men too1 to look and behave just as well as they can1 and whoever fails in this1 fails in good manners and in duty4 ,the ear demands agreeable tones and harmonious combinations of tones--pleasant words and sweet songs4 ,if you indulge in loud talking1 in boisterous and untimely laughter1 or in profane or vulgar language1 or sing out of tune1 you violate its rights and offend good manners4 ,the sense of smell requires pleasant odors for its enjoyment4 ,fragrance is its proper element4 ,to bring the fetid odor of unwashed feet or filthy garments1 or the stench of bad tobacco or worse whisky1 or the offensive scent of onions or garlics within its sphere1 is an act of impoliteness4 ,the sense of taste asks for agreeable flavors1 and has a right to the best we can give in the way of palatable foods and drinks4 ,the sense of feeling1 though less cultivated and not so sensitive as the others1 has its rights too1 and is offended by too great coarseness1 roughness1 and hardness4 ,it has a claim on us for a higher culture4 #b4 ,the ,faculties4 ,and if the senses have their rights1 we must admit that the higher faculties and feelings of our nature are at least equally dowered in this respect4 ,you can not trespass upon one of them without a violation of good manners4 ,we can not go into a complete exposition of the bill of rights of each4 ,you can analyze them for yourself1 and learn the nature of their claims upon you4 ,in the mean time1 we will touch upon a point or two here and there4 #c4 ,opinions4 ,each person has a right to his or her opinions1 and to the expression of them on proper occasions1 and there is no duty more binding upon us all than the most complete and respectful toleration4 ,the author of ,the ,illustrated ,manners ,book truly says3 ,every denial of1 or interference with1 the personal freedom or absolute rights of another1 is a violation of good manners4 ,he who presumes to censure me for my religious belief1 or want of belief2 who makes it a matter of criticism or reproach that ,i am a ,theist or ,atheist1 ,trinitarian or ,unitarian1 ,catholic or ,protestant1 ,pagan or ,christian1 ,jew1 ,mohammedan1 or ,mormon1 is guilty of rudeness and insult4 ,if any of these modes of belief make me intolerant or intrusive1 he may resent such intolerance or repel such intrusion2 but the basis of all true politeness and social enjoyment is the mutual tolerance of personal rights4 #d4 ,the ,sacredness of ,privacy4 ,here is another passage from the author just quoted which is so much to the point that we can not forbear to copy it3 ,one of the rights most commonly trespassed upon constituting a violent breach of good manners1 is the right of privacy1 or of the control of one's own person and affairs4 ,there are places in this country where there exists scarcely the slightest recognition of this right4 ,a man or woman bolts into your house without knocking4 ,no room is sacred unless you lock the door1 and an exclusion would be an insult4 ,parents intrude upon children1 and children upon parents4 ,the husband thinks he has a right to enter his wife's room1 and the wife would feel injured if excluded1 by night or day1 from her husband's4 ,it is said that they even open each other's letters1 and claim1 as a right1 that neither should have any secrets from the other4 ,it in difficult to conceive of such a state of intense barbarism in a civilized country1 such a denial of the simplest and most primitive rights1 such an utter absence of delicacy and good manners2 and had we not been assured on good authority that such things existed1 we should consider any suggestions respecting them needless and impertinent4 ,each person in a dwelling should1 if possible1 have a room as sacred from intrusion as the house is to the family4 ,no child1 grown to years of discretion1 should be outraged by intrusion4 ,no relation1 however intimate1 can justify it4 ,so the trunks1 boxes1 packets1 papers1 and letters of every individual1 locked or unlocked1 sealed or unsealed1 are sacred4 ,it is ill manners even to open a book-case1 or to read a written paper lying open1 without permission expressed or implied4 ,books in an open case or on a center-table1 cards in a card-case1 and newspapers1 are presumed to be open for examination4 ,be careful where you go1 what you read1 and what you handle1 particularly in private apartments4 ,this right to privacy extends to one's business1 his personal relations1 his thoughts1 and his feelings4 ,don't intrude2 and always mind your own business1 which means1 by implication1 that you must let other people's business alone4 #e4 ,conformity4 ,you must conform1 to such an extent as not to annoy and give offense1 to the customs1 whether in dress or other matters1 of the circle in which you move4 ,this conformity is an implied condition in the social compact4 ,it is a practical recognition of the right of others1 and shows merely a proper regard for their opinions and feelings4 ,if you can not sing in tune with the rest1 or on the same key1 remain silent4 ,you may be right and the others wrong but that does not alter the case4 ,convince them1 if you can1 and bring them to your pitch1 but never mar even a low accord4 ,so if you can not adapt your dress and manners to the company in which you find yourself1 the sooner you take your leave the better4 ,you may and should endeavor1 in a proper way1 to change such customs and fashions as you may deem wrong1 or injurious in their tendency1 but1 in the mean time1 you have no right to violate them4 ,you may choose your company1 but1 having chosen it1 you must conform to its rules til you can change them4 ,you are not compelled to reside in ,rome2 but if you choose to live there1 you must do as the ,romans do4 ,the rules which should govern your conduct1 as an isolated individual1 were such a thing as isolation possible in the midst of society1 are modified by your relations to those around you4 ,this life of ours is a complex affair1 and our greatest errors arise from our one-side views of it4 ,we are sovereign individuals1 and are born with certain inalienable rights2 but we are also members of that larger individual society1 and our rights can not conflict with the duties which grow out of that relation4 ,if by means of our non-conformity we cause ourselves to be cut off1 like an offending hand1 or plucked out1 like an offending eye1 our usefulness is at once destroyed4 ,it is related of a certain king that on a particular occasion he turned his tea into his saucer1 contrary to his custom and to the etiquette of society1 because two country ladies1 whose hospitalities he was enjoying1 did so4 ,that king was a gentleman2 and this anecdote serves to illustrate an important principle2 namely1 that true politeness and genuine good manners often not only permit1 but absolutely demand1 a violation of some of the arbitrary rules of etiquette4 ,the highest law demands complete ,,harmony in all spheres and in all relations4 ,,iv4--,,equality4 ,in the qualified sense which no doubt ,mr4 ,jefferson affixed to the term in his own mind1 all men are created free and equal4 ,the noble ,oracle himself had long before as explicitly asserted the natural equality of man4 ,in #agci1 thirty-seven years before the ,declaration of ,independence was penned1 ,lord ,chesterfield wrote3 ,we are of the same species1 and no distinction whatever is between us1 except that which arises from fortune4 ,for example1 your footman and ,lizette would be your equals were they as rich as you4 ,being poor1 they are obliged to serve you4 ,therefore you must not add to their misfortune by insulting or ill-treating them4 ,a good heart never reminds people of their misfortune1 but endeavors to alleviate1 or1 if possible1 to make them forget it4 ,the writer in ,life ,illustrated1 quoted in a previous chapter1 states the case very clearly as follows3 ,it is in the sacredness of their rights that men are equal4 ,the smallest injustice done to the smallest man on earth is an offense against all men2 an offense which all men have a personal and equal interest in avenging4 ,if ,john ,smith picks my pocket1 the cause in court is correctly entitled1 ',the ,,people versus ,john ,smith4' ,the whole ,state of ,new ,york has taken up my quarrel with ,john1 and arrays itself against ,john in awful majesty2 because the pockets1 the interests1 the rights of a man are infinitely1 and therefore equally1 sacred4 ,the conviction of this truth is the beginning and basis of the science of republican etiquette1 which acknowledges no artificial distinctions4 ,its leading principle is1 that courtesy is due to all men from all men2 from the servant to the served2 from the served to the servant2 and from both for precisely the same reason1 namely1 because both are human beings and fellow-citizens6 ,v4--,a ,,remark ,,or ,,two ,,to ,,be ,,remembered4 ,we purpose1 in succeeding chapters1 to set forth briefly but clearly1 what the actual requirements of good society are in reference to behavior4 ,you must look at these in the light of the general principles we have already laid down4 ,it is not for us to say how far you ought or can conform to any particular custom1 usage1 or rule of etiquette4 ,we believe that even the most arbitrary and capricious of them either have or have had a reason and a meaning4 ,in many cases1 however1 the reason may no longer exist1 and the form be meaningless2 or while it embodies what is a living truth to others1 you may have outgrown it or advanced beyond it4 ,you have an undoubted right1 politely but firmly1 to decline to do what seems to you1 looking upon the matter from your highest stand-point1 to be clearly wrong1 and it is no breach of good manners to do so2 but at the same time you should avoid1 as far as possible1 putting yourself in positions which call for the exercise of this right4 ,if you can not conscientiously wear a dress coat1 or a stove-pipe hat1 or cut your hair1 or eat flesh-meat1 or drink wine1 you will naturally avoid1 under ordinary circumstances1 the circles in which non-conformity in these matters would be deemed a breach of good manners4 ,when it is necessary that you should mingle with people whose customs you can not follow in all points without a violation of principle1 you will courteously1 and with proper respect for what they probably think entirely right1 fall back upon the higher law2 but if it is a mere matter of gloved or ungloved hands1 cup or saucer1 fork or knife1 you will certainly have the courtesy and good sense to conform to usage4 ,v4 ,,domestic ,,manners4 ,home is a little world of itself1 and furnishes a sphere for the exercise of every virtue and for the experience of every pleasure or pain4 ,if one profit not by its opportunities1 he will be likely to pay dearly for less agreeable lessons in another school4--,harrison4 ,i4--,a ,,test ,,of ,,good ,,manners4 ,good manners are not to be put on and off with one's best clothes4 ,politeness is an article for every-day wear4 ,if you don it only on special and rare occasions1 it will be sure to sit awkwardly upon you4 ,if you are not well behaved in your own family circle1 you will hardly be truly so anywhere1 however strictly you may conform to the observances of good breeding1 when in society4 ,the true gentleman or lady is a gentleman or lady at all times and in all places--at home as well as abroad--in the field1 or workshop1 or in the kitchen1 as well as in the parlor4 ,a snob is--a snob always and everywhere4 ,if you see a man behave in a rude and uncivil manner to his father or mother1 his brothers or sisters1 his wife or children2 or fail to exercise the common courtesies of life at his own table and around his own fireside1 you may at once set him down as a boor1 whatever pretensions he may make to gentility4 ,dc not fall into the absurd error of supposing that you may do as you please at home--that is1 unless you please to behave in a perfectly gentlemanly or ladylike manner4 ,the same rights exist there as elsewhere1 and the same duties grow out of them1 while the natural respect and affection which should be felt by each member of the family for all the other members1 add infinitely to their sacredness4 ,let your good manners1 then1 begin at home4 ,,ii4--,,parents ,,and ,,children4 ,american children 7we are sorry to be obliged to say it7 are not1 as a general rule1 well behaved4 ,they are rude and disrespectful1 if not disobedient4 ,they inspire terror rather than love in the breasts of strangers and all persons who seek quiet and like order4 ,in our drawing-rooms1 on board our steamers1 in our railway cars and stage coaches1 they usually contrive to make themselves generally and particularly disagreeable by their familiarity1 forwardness1 and pertness4 ,young ,america can not brook restraint1 has no conception of superiority1 and reverences nothing4 ,his ideas of equality admit neither limitation nor qualification4 ,he is born with a full comprehension of his own individual rights1 but is slow in learning his social duties4 ,through whose fault comes this state of things8 ,american boys and girls have naturally as much good sense and good-nature as those of any other nation1 and1 when well trained1 no children are more courteous and agreeable4 ,the fault lies in their education4 ,in the days of our grandfathers1 children were taught manners at school--a rather rude1 backwoods sort of manners1 it is true1 but better than the no manners at all of the present day4 ,we must blame parents in this matter rather than their children4 ,if you would have your children grow up beloved and respected by their elders as well as their contemporaries1 teach them good manners in their childhood4 ,the young sovereign should first learn to obey1 that he may be the better fitted to command in his turn4 ,those who are old enough to study this book1 are old enough to take the matter in to their own hands1 and remedy the defects and supply the deficiencies of their early education4 ,we beg them to commence at once1 and at home4 ,allow no false ideas of liberty and equality to cause you to forget for a moment the deference due to your father and your mother4 ,the fifth commandment has not been and can not be abrogated4 ,we commend to you the example of the ,father of his ,country4 ,look into the life of ,washington1 and mark what tender and respectful attentions characterized his intercourse with his only surviving parent4 ,he never1 we venture to say1 spoke of his mother as the old woman1 or addressed her with incivility4 ,never1 an old friend of yours adjures you1 let youthful levity or the example of others betray you into forgetfulness of the claims of your parents or elders to a certain deference4 ,nature1 a counselor still more sage1 we doubt not1 has written the same injunction upon your heart4 ,let your manners do justice to your feelings6 ,toward your father1 that polished and courtly gentleman of the old school1 the author of the ,american ,gentleman's ,guide to ,politeness and ,fashion1 says1 preserve always a deferential manner1 mingled with a certain frankness indicating that thorough confidence--that entire understanding of each other1 which is the best guarantee of good sense in both1 and of inestimable value to every young man blessed with a right-minded parent4 ,accept the advice dictated by experience with respect1 receive even reproof without impatience of manner1 and hasten to prove afterward that you cherish no resentful remembrance of what may have seemed to you too great severity or a too manifest assumption of authority4444 ,in the inner temple of home1 as well as where the world looks on1 render him reverence due4 ,there should be mingled with the habitual deference and attention that marks your manner to your mother the indescribable tenderness and rendering back of care and watchfulness that betokens remembrance of early days4 ,no other woman should ever induce you to forget this truest1 most disinterested friend1 nor should your manner ever indicate even momentary indifference to her wishes or her affection4 ,,iii4--,,brothers ,,and ,,sisters4 ,the intercourse of brothers and sisters should be marked by the frankness and familiarity befitting their intimate relation2 but this certainly does not preclude the exercise of all the little courtesies of life4 ,young man1 be polite to your sister4 ,she is a woman1 and all women have claims on you for courteous attentions2 and the affection which exists between you adds tenfold to the sacredness of the claims she has upon you1 not only for protection1 but for the exercise toward her of all the sweet amenities of life4 ,except your mother and your wife or affianced mistress 7if you have one71 no one can possibly have an equal right to your attentions4 ,if you are young and have neither wife nor lady-love1 let your mother and your sisters be to you the embodiment of all that is tenderest1 most beautiful1 and best in the human world4 ,you can have no better school than your daily intercourse with them1 to fit you for female society in general4 ,the young man who loves his sisters and always treats them with the politeness1 deference1 and kindness which is their due1 is almost certain to be a favorite with their sex generally2 so1 as you value your reputation for good manners and your success with other ladies1 fail in no act of courtesy to your sisters4 ,the gentle and loving sister will need no injunction to treat an affectionate1 polite1 and attentive brother with the tender and respectful consideration which such a brother deserves4 ,the charming little courtesies which you practice so gracefully in your intercourse with other gentlemen will not1 you may be sure1 be lost upon him4 ,true politeness is never lost1 and never out of place2 and nowhere does it appear more attractive than at home4 ,stiff formality and cold ceremoniousness are repulsive anywhere1 and are particularly so in the family circle2 but the easy1 frank1 and genial intercourse of the fireside1 instead of being marred1 is refined and made still more delightful by courtesy4 ,,iv4--,,the ,,husband ,,and ,,wife4 ,reader1 are you married8 ,but excuse us1 if the question is not a proper one4 ,if you are not1 you doubtless hope to be1 sooner or later1 and therefore we will address you just as if you were4 ,the husband should never cease to be a lover1 or fail in any of those delicate attentions and tender expressions of affectionate solicitude which marked his intercourse before marriage with his heart's queen4 ,all the respectful deference1 every courteous observance1 all the self-sacrificing devotion that can be claimed by a mistress is certainly due to a wife1 and he is no true husband and no true gentleman who withholds them4 ,it is not enough that you honor1 respect1 and love your wife4 ,you must put this honor1 respect1 and love into the forms of speech and action4 ,let no unkind word1 no seeming indifference1 no lack of the little attentions due her1 remind her sadly of the sweet days of courtship and the honey-moon4 ,surely the love you thought would have been cheaply purchased at the price of a world is worth all you care to preserve4 ,is not the wife more1 and better1 and dearer than the sweetheart8 ,we venture to hint that it is probably your own fault if she is not4 ,the chosen companion of your life1 the mother of your children1 the sharer of all your joys and sorrows1 as she possesses the highest place in your affections1 should have the best place everywhere1 the choicest morsels1 the politest attentions1 the softest1 kindest words1 the tenderest care4 ,love1 duty1 and good manners alike require it4 ,and has the wife no duties8 ,have the courteous observances1 the tender watchfulness1 the pleasant words1 the never-tiring devotion1 which won your smiles1 your spoken thanks1 your kisses1 your very self1 in days gone by1 now lost their value8 ,does not the husband rightly claim as much1 at least1 as the lover8 ,if you find him less observant of the little courtesies due you1 may this not be because you sometimes fail to reward him with the same sweet thanks and sweeter smiles8 ,ask your own heart4 ,have the comfort and happiness of your husband always in view1 and let him see and feel that you still look up to him with trust and affection--that the love of other days has not grown cold4 ,dress for his eyes more scrupulously than for all the rest of the world2 make yourself and your home beautiful for his sake2 play and sing 7if you can7 to please him2 try to beguile him from his cares2 retain his affections in the same way you won them1 and--be polite even to your husband4 ,v4--,,entertainers ,,and ,,their ,,guests4 ,hospitality takes a high rank among the social virtues2 but we fear it is not held in so high esteem as formerly4 ,its duties are often fatiguing and irksome1 no doubt1 and sometimes quite unnecessarily so4 ,one of the most important maxims of hospitality is1 ,let your guests alone6 ,if it were generally observed it would save both hosts and visitors a world of trouble4 ,your first object should be to make your guests feel at home4 ,this they never can do while your needless bustle and obtrusive attentions constantly remind them that they are not at home1 and perhaps make them wish they were4 ,you will not1 of course1 understand us to mean that you should devote no attention to your guests4 ,on the contrary1 you should assiduously labor to promote their comfort and enjoyment1 opening to them every source of entertainment within your reach2 but it should be done in that easy1 delicate1 considerate way which will make it seem a matter of course1 and no trouble whatever to you4 ,you should not seem to be conferring but receiving a favor4 ,begging your visitors to make themselves at home1 does not give them the home feeling4 ,genuine1 unaffected friendliness1 and an unobtrusive and almost unperceived attention to their wants alone will impart this4 ,allow their presence to interfere as little as possible with your domestic arrangements2 thus letting them see that their visit does not disturb you1 but that they fall1 as it were1 naturally into a vacant place in your household4 ,observe your own feelings when you happen to be the guest of a person who1 though he may be very much your friend1 and really glad to see you1 seems not to know what to do either with you or himself2 and again1 when in the house of another1 you feel as much at ease as in your own4 ,mark the difference1 more easily felt than described1 between the manners of the two1 and deduce therefrom a lesson for your own improvement4 ,furnish your rooms and table for your guests in as good style as your means and the circumstances of the case will permit1 and make no fuss about it4 ,to be unnecessarily sparing shows meanness1 and to be extravagantly profuse is absurd as well an ruinous4 ,probably your visitors know whether your income is large or small and if they do not they will soon learn1 on that point1 all that it is necessary for them to know4 ,but if any circumstance out of the ordinary course of things should render an apology necessary1 make it at once and say no more about it4 ,avoid by all means the very common but very foolish habit of depreciating your own rooms1 furniture1 or viands1 and expressing uncalled-for regrets that you have nothing better to offer1 merely to give your guests an opportunity politely to contradict you4 ,but you need not go to the other extreme and extol the meats you set before them4 ,say nothing about these matters4 ,when visitors show any intention of leaving1 you will of course express the desire you feel to have them stay longer1 but good manners do not require you to endeavor to retain them against their wishes or sense of duty4 ,it is to be supposed that they know their own affairs best4 ,guests sometimes forget 7if they ever learned7 that they have any duties4 ,we beg leave to jog their memory with the following hints from the graceful pen of ,mrs4 ,manners3 ,to accommodate yourself to the habits and rules of the family1 in regard to hours of rising or retiring1 and particularly the hours for meals1 is the first duty of a guest4 ,inform yourself as soon as possible when the meals occur--whether there will be a dressing-bell--at what time they meet for prayers1 and thus become acquainted with all the family regulations4 ,it is always the better way for a family to adhere strictly to all their usual habits2 it is a much simpler matter for one to learn to conform to those than for half a dozen to be thrown out of a routine1 which may be almost indispensable to the fulfillment of their importunate duties4 ,it certainly must promote the happiness of any reasonable person to know that his presence is no restraint and no inconvenience4 ,your own good sense and delicacy will teach you the desirability of keeping your room tidy1 and your articles of dress and toilet as much in order as possible4 ,if there is a deficiency of servants1 a lady will certainly not hesitate to make her own bed1 and to do for herself as much as possible1 and for the family all that is in her power4 ,i never saw an elegant lady of my acquaintance appear to better advantage than when once performing a service which1 under other circumstances1 might have been considered menial2 yet1 in her own house1 she was surrounded by servants1 and certainly she never used a broom or made a bed a her life4 ,,vi4--,,servants4 ,we are all dependent1 in one way or another1 upon others4 ,at one time we serve1 at another we are served1 and we are equally worthy of honor and respect in the one case as in the other4 ,the man or the woman who serves us may or may not be our inferior in natural capacity1 learning1 manners1 or wealth4 ,be this as it may1 the relation in which we stand to him or her gives us no right beyond the exaction of the service stipulated or implied in that relation4 ,the right to tyrannize over our inferiors in social position1 to unnecessarily humiliate them1 or to be rude and unkind can not exist1 because it would be an infringement of other rights4 ,servants have rights as well as those whom they serve1 and the latter have duties as well as the former4 ,we owe those who labor for us something more than their wages4 ,they have claims on us for a full recognition of their manhood or womanhood1 and all the rights which grow out of that state4 ,the true gentleman is never arrogant1 or overbearing1 or rude to domestics or employees4 ,his commands are requests1 and all services1 no matter how humble the servant1 are received with thanks1 as if they were favors4 ,we might say the same with still greater emphasis of the true lady4 ,there is no surer sign of vulgarity than a needless assumption of the tone of authority and a haughty and supercilious bearing toward servants and inferiors in station generally4 ,it is a small thing to say1 ,i thank you1 but those little words are often better than gold4 ,no one is too poor to bestow1 or too rich to receive them4 ,,vi4 ,,the ,,observances ,,of ,,every-,,day ,,life4 ,good manners are the settled medium of social1 as specie is of commercial life3 returns are equally expected in both2 and people will no more advance their civility to a bear1 than their money to a bankrupt4--,chesterfield4 ,i4--,a ,,preliminary ,,remark4 ,in going out into the great world which lies outside of home we have no new principles to lay down for your guidance4 ,those we have set forth and illustrated in previous chapters are of universal application and meet all contingencies4 ,we shall now essay a brief exposition of the established laws of etiquette1 leaving each reader to judge for himself how far he can and ought to conform to them1 and what modifications they require to adapt them to a change of time1 place1 and circumstances4 ,,ii4--,,introductions4 ,it is neither necessary nor desirable to introduce everybody to everybody2 and the promiscuous presentations sometimes inflicted upon us are anything but agreeable4 ,you confer no favor on us1 and only a nominal one on the person presented1 by making us acquainted with one whom we do not desire to know2 and you may inflict a positive injury upon both4 ,yon also put yourself in an unpleasant position2 for an introduction is a social indorsement1 and yell become to a certain extent responsible for the person you introduce4 ,if he disgraces himself in any way you share1 in a greater or less degree1 in his disgrace4 ,be as cautious in this matter as you would in writing your name on the back of another man's note4 ,as a general rule1 no gentleman should be presented to a lady without her permission being previously obtained4 ,between gentlemen this formality is not always necessary1 but you should have good reason to believe that the acquaintance will be agreeable to both1 before introducing any persons to each other4 ,if a gentleman requests you to present him to another gentleman who is his superior in social position1 or to a lady1 you should either obtain permission of the latter1 or decline to accede to his request1 on the ground that you are not sufficiently intimate yourself to take the liberty4 ,if you are walking with a friend1 and are met or joined by another1 it is not necessary to introduce them to each other2 but you may do so if you think they would be glad to become acquainted4 ,the same rule will apply to other accidental meetings4 ,when two men call upon a stranger on a matter of business1 each should present the other4 ,the inferior should be introduced to the superior--the gentleman to the lady1 as1 ,miss ,brown1 permit me to introduce ,mr4 ,smith4 ,a lady may1 however1 be introduced to a gentleman much her superior in age or station4 ,gentlemen and ladies who are presumed to be equals in age and position are mutually introduced2 as1 ,mr4 ,wilson1 allow me to make you acquainted with ,mr4 ,parker2 ,mr4 ,parker1 ,mr4 ,wilson4 ,in presenting persons be very careful to speak their names plainly2 and on being introduced to another1 if you do not catch the name1 say1 without hesitation or embarrassment1 ,i beg your pardon1 ,i did not hear the name4 ,it is the common custom in this country to shake hands on being introduced4 ,it is better that this should be optional with the person to whom you are presented or with you1 if you stood in the position of the superior4 ,if a lady or a superior in age or social position offers the hand1 you of course accept it cordially4 ,you will have too much self-respect to be the first to extend the hand in such a case4 ,in merely formal introductions a bow is enough4 ,feeling should govern in this matter4 ,in introducing members of your own family you should always mention the name4 ,say1 ,my father ,mr4 ,jones1 ,my daughter ,miss ,jones1 or ,miss ,mary ,jones4 ,your wife is simply ,mrs4 ,jones2 and if there happen to be another ,mrs4 ,jones in the family1 she may be ,mrs4 ,jones1 my sister-in-law1 etc4 ,to speak of your wife as my lady1 or enter yourselves on a hotel register as ,mr4 ,jones and lady1 is particularly snobbish4 ,introductions by letter are subject to the same general rules as verbal ones3 we should1 however1 be still more cautious in giving them2 but for directions on this point1 as well as forms for letters of introduction1 see ,how to ,write1 ,chapter ,,ix4 ,but may we not speak to a person without an introduction8 ,in many cases we most certainly may and should4 ,there is no reason in the world why two persons who may occupy the same seat in a railway car or a stage coach should remain silent during the whole journey because they have not been introduced1 when conversation might be agreeable to both4 ,the same remark will apply to many other occasions4 ,you are not obliged1 however to know these extempore acquaintances afterward4 ,if you are a gentleman1 do not1 we beg you1 permit the lack of an introduction to prevent you from promptly offering your services to any unattended lady who may need them4 ,take off your hat and politely beg the honor of protecting1 escorting1 or assisting her1 and when the service has been accomplished1 bow and retire4 ,,iii4--,,salutations4 ,salutation1 a ,french writer says1 is the touchstone of good breeding4 ,your good sense will teach you that it should vary in style with persons1 times1 places1 and circumstances4 ,you will meet an intimate friend with a hearty shake of the hand and an inquiry indicative of real interest1 in reference to his health and that of his family4 ,to another person you how respectfully without speaking4 ,a slight note of recognition suffices in another case4 ,but you should never come into the presence of any person1 unless you feel at liberty to ignore their existence altogether1 without some form of salutation4 ,if you meet in company a person with whom you have a quarrel1 it is better in general to bow coldly and ceremoniously than to seem not to see him4 ,it is a great rudeness not to return a salutation1 no matter how humble the person who salutes you4 ,a bow1 ,la ,fontaine says1 is a note drawn at sight4 ,if you acknowledge it1 you must pay the full amount4 ,the two best bred men in ,england1 ,charles the ,second and ,george the ,fourth1 never failed to take off their hats to the meanest of their subjects4 ,a greater man than either1 and a true gentleman of the old school1 ,george ,washington1 was wont to lift his hat even to the poor negro slave1 who took off his as that great man passed4 ,,iv4--,,receptions4 ,the duty of receiving visitors usually devolves upon the mistress of the house1 and should be performed in an easy1 quiet1 and self possessed manner1 and without any unnecessary ceremony4 ,in this way you will put your guests at their ease1 and make their call or visit pleasant both to them and to yourself4 ,from a little book before us entitled ,etiquette for ,ladies1 we condense a few useful hints on this subject3 ,when any one enters1 whether announced or not1 rise immediately1 advance toward him1 and request him to sit down4 ,if it is a young man1 offer him an arm-chair1 or a stuffed one2 if an elderly man1 insist upon his accepting the arm-chair2 if a lady1 beg her to be seated upon the sofa4 ,if the master of the house receives the visitors1 he will take a chair and place himself at a little distance from them2 if1 on the contrary1 it is the mistress of the house1 and if she is intimate with the lady who visits her1 she will place herself near her4 ,if several ladies come at once1 we give the most honorable place to the one who1 from age or other considerations1 is most entitled to respect4 ,in winter1 the most honorable places are those at the corners of the fireplace4 ,if the visitor is a stranger1 the master or mistress of the house rises1 and any persons who may be already in the room should do the same4 ,if some of them then withdraw1 the master or mistress of the house should conduct them as far as the door4 ,but whoever the person may be who departs1 if we have other company1 we may dispense with conducting farther than the door of the room4 ,quiet self-possession and unaffected courtesy will enable you to make even a ceremonious morning call tolerable1 if not absolutely pleasant to both the caller and yourself4 ,v4--,,visits ,,and ,,calls4 ,visits are of various kinds1 each of which has its own terms and observances4 ,there are visits of ceremony1 visits of congratulation1 visits of condolence1 visits of friendship4 ,visits of ceremony1 though they take up a large share of the time of the fashionable lady1 are very stupid affairs as a general thing1 and have little to recommend them except--,fashion4 ,the best thing about them is that they may and should be short4 ,you pay visits of congratulation to your friends on the occurrence of any particularly auspicious event in his family1 or on his appointment to any office or dignity4 ,visits of condolence should be made within the week after the event which calls for them4 ,let visits of friendship be governed by friendship's own laws1 and the universal principles of good manners4 ,we shall give no particular rules for the regulation of their time or their length4 ,morning calls1 the ,illustrated ,manners ,book says are the small change of social commerce2 parties and assemblies are the heavy drafts4 ,a call is not less than ten nor more than twenty minutes in the city2 in the country a little longer4 ,the time for a morning call is between eleven and two o'clock1 unless your friends are so fashionable as to dine at five or six1 in which case you can call from twelve to three4 ,morning1 in fashionable parlance1 means any time before dinner4 ,in a morning call or visit of ceremony1 the gentleman takes his hat and cane1 if he carries one1 into the room4 ,the lady does not take off her bonnet and shawl4 ,in attending ladies who are making morning calls1 a gentleman assists them up the steps1 rings the bell1 follows them into the room1 and waits till they have finished their salutations1 unless he has a part to perform in presenting them4 ,ladies should always be the first to rise in terminating a visa1 and when they have made their adieux their cavaliers repeat the ceremony1 and follow them out4 ,soiled overshoes or wet garments should not be worn into any room devoted to the use of ladies4 ,gentlemen must never remain seated in the company of ladies with whom he is ceremoniously associated1 while they are standing4 ,always relieve ladies of their parcels1 parasols1 shawls1 etc4 whenever this will conduce to their convenience4,b ,if you call on a person who is engaged1 or not at home1 leave your card4 ,if there are several persons you desire to see1 leave a card for each1 or desire a servant to present your compliments to them severally4 ,all visits should be returned1 personally or by card1 just as one should speak when spoken to1 or answer a respectful letter4 ,in visiting at a hotel1 do not enter your friend's room till your card has announced you4 ,if not at home1 send your card to his room with your address written upon it as well as the name of the person for whom it is intended1 to avoid mistakes4,c ,when you are going abroad1 intending to be absent for some time1 you inclose your card in an envelope1 having first1 written ,t4 ,t4 ,l4 to take leave1 or ,p4 ,p4 ,c4 pour prendre conge upon it--for a man the former is better--and direct it outside to the person for whom it is intended4 ,in taking leave of a family1 you send as many cards as you would if you were paying an ordinary visit4 ,when you return from your voyage1 all the persons to whom1 before going1 you have sent cards1 will pay you the first visit4 ,if1 previously to a voyage or his marriage1 any one should not send his card to another1 it is to be understood that he wishes the acquaintance to cease4 ,the person1 therefore1 who is thus discarded1 should never again visit the other4,d ,visiting cards should be engraved or handsomely written4 ,those printed on type are considered vulgar1 simply1 no doubt1 because they are cheap4 ,a gentleman's card should be of medium size1 unglazed1 ungilt1 and perfectly plain4 ,a lady's card may be larger and finer1 and should be carried in a card-case4 ,if you should happen to be paying an evening visit at a house1 where1 unknown to you1 there is a small party assembled1 you should enter and present yourself precisely as you would have done had you been invited4 ,to retire precipitately with an apology for the intrusion would create a scene1 and be extremely awkward4 ,go in1 therefore1 converse with ease for a few moments1 and then retire4 ,in making morning calls1 usage allows a gentleman to wear a frock coat1 or a sack coat1 if the latter happen to be in fashion4 ,the frock coat is now1 in this country1 tolerated at dinner-parties1 and even at a ball1 but is not considered in good ton or style4 ,ladies1 according to the authority of a writer of their own sex1 should make morning calls in an elegant and simple neglige1 all the details of which we can not give1 on account of their multiplicity and the numerous modifications of fashion4 ,it is necessary for them1 when visiting at this time1 to arrange their toilet with great care4 ,,vi4--,,appointments4 ,be exact in keeping all appointments4 ,it is better never to avail yourself of even the quarter of an hour's grace sometimes allowed4 ,if you make an appointment with another at your own house1 you should be invisible to the rest of the world1 and consecrate your time solely to him4 ,if you accept an appointment at the house of a public officer or a man of business1 be very punctual1 transact the affair with dispatch1 and retire the moment it is finished4 ,at a dinner or supper to which you have accepted an invitation1 be absolutely punctual4 ,it is very annoying to arrive an hour before the rest1 and still worse to be too late4 ,if you find yourself in the latter predicament on an occasion where ceremony is required1 send in your card1 with an apology1 and retire4 ,,vii4--,,table ,,manners4 ,we shall speak in another place of the ceremonious observances requisite at formal dinner parties4 ,our observations here will be of a more general character1 and of universal application4 ,take your seat quietly at the table4 ,sit firmly in your chair1 without lolling1 leaning back1 drumming1 or any other uncouth action4 ,unfold your napkin and lay it in your lap1 eat soup delicately with a spoon1 holding a piece of bread in your left hand4 ,be careful to make no noise in chewing or swallowing your food4 ,cut your food with your knife2 but the fork is to be used to convey it to your mouth4 ,a spoon is employed for food that can not be eaten with a fork4 ,take your fork or spoon in the right hand4 ,never use both hands to convey anything to your month4 ,break your bread1 not cut or bite it4 ,your cup was made to drink from1 and your saucer to hold the cup4 ,it is not well to drink anything hot2 but you can wait till your tea or coffee cools4 ,eggs should be eaten from the shell 7chipping off a little of the larger end71 with or without an egg-cup4 ,the egg-cup is to hold the shell1 and not its contents4 ,be attentive to the wants of any lady who may be seated next to you1 especially where there are no servants1 and pass anything that may be needful to others4 ,when you send up your plate for anything1 your knife and fork should go with it4 ,when you have finished the course1 lay your knife and fork on your plate1 parallel to each other1 with the handles toward your right hand4 ,of course1 you should never put your knife into the butter or the salt1 or your spoon into the sugar-bowl4 ,eat moderately and slowly1 for your health's sake2 but rapid1 gross1 and immoderate eating is as vulgar as it is unwholesome4 ,never say or do anything at table that is liable to produce disgust4 ,wipe your nose1 if needful1 but never blow it4 ,if it is necessary to do this1 or to spit1 leave the table4 ,it is almost unnecessary to mention that the table-cloth is not the place to put your salt4 ,bread is the only comestible which the custom of well-bred people permits to be laid off your plate4 ,it is well not to seem too much in haste to commence1 as if you are famishing1 but neither is it necessary to wait till everybody is served before you commence4 ,it is perfectly proper to take the last piece1 if you want it1 always presuming that there is more of the same in reserve4 ,,viii4--,,conversation4 ,as conversation is the principal business in company1 we can not well pay too much attention to it2 but having devoted another work to the subject1 we shall make this section briefer than would otherwise be allowable1 and refer our readers for complete instructions in this important art to ,how to ,talk4,e ,the maxims which follow are mostly compiled from other works now before us4 ,the wit of conversation consists more in finding it in others than in showing a great deal yourself4 ,he who goes from your conversation pleased with himself and his own wit1 is perfectly well pleased with you4 ,the most delicate pleasure is to please another4,f ,men of all sorts of occupations meet in society4 ,as they go there to unbend their minds and escape from the fetters of business1 you should never1 in an evening1 speak to a man about his profession4 ,do not talk of politics to a journalist1 of fevers to a physician1 of stocks to a broker4 ,talk to a mother about her children4 ,women are never tired of hearing of themselves and their children4,g ,in promiscuous companies you should vary your address agreeably to the different ages of the persons to whom you speak4 ,it would be rude and absurd to talk of your courtships or your pleasures to men of certain dignity and gravity1 to clergymen1 or men in years4 ,to women you should always address yourself with great respect and attention2 their sex is entitled to it1 and it is among the duties of good manners2 at the same time1 that respect is very properly and very agreeably mixed with a degree of gayety1 if you have it4 ,in relating anything1 avoid repetitions1 or very hackneyed expressions1 such as1 says he1 or says she4 ,some people will use these so often as to take off the hearer's attention from the story2 as1 in an organ out of tune1 one pipe shall perhaps sound the whole time we are playing1 and confuse the piece so as not to be understood4 ,carefully avoid talking either of your own or other people's domestic concerns4 ,by doing the one1 you will be thought vain2 by entering into the other1 you will be considered officious4 ,talking of yourself is an impertinence to the company2 your affairs are nothing to them2 besides1 they can not be kept too secret4 ,as to the affairs of others1 what are they to you8 ,you should never help out or forestall the slow speaker1 as if you alone were rich in expressions1 and he were poor4 ,you may take it for granted that every one is vain enough to think he can talk well1 though he may modestly deny it4 ,there is an exception to this rule4 ,in speaking with foreigners1 who understand our language imperfectly1 and may be unable to find the right word1 it is sometimes polite to assist them by suggesting the word they require4 ,giving advice unasked is another piece of rudeness4 ,it is1 in effect1 declaring ourselves wiser than those to whom we give it2 reproaching them with ignorance and inexperience4 ,it is a freedom that ought not to be taken with any common acquaintance4 ,those who contradict others upon all occasions1 and make every assertion a matter of dispute1 betray1 by this behavior1 a want of acquaintance with good breeding4 ,vulgarism in language is the next and distinguishing characteristic of bad company and a bad education4 ,a man of fashion avoids nothing with more care than that4 ,proverbial expressions and trite sayings are the flowers of the rhetoric of a vulgar man4,h ,never descend to flattery2 but deserved compliments should never be withheld4 ,be attentive to any person who may be speaking to you1 and be equally ready to speak or to listen1 as the case may require4 ,never dispute4 ,as a general rule1 do not ride your own hobbies in a mixed company1 nor allow yourself to be trotted out for their amusement4 ,,ix4--,,music4 ,when music commences1 conversation should cease4 ,it is very rude to talk while another person is singing or playing4 ,a lady should never exhibit any anxiety to sing or play2 but if she intends to do so1 she should not affect to refuse when asked1 but obligingly accede at once4 ,if you can not sing1 or do not choose to1 say so with seriousness and gravity1 and put an end to the expectation promptly4 ,after singing once or twice1 cease and give place to others4 ,the complaint is as old as the days of ,horace1 that a singer can with the greatest difficulty be set agoing1 and when agoing1 can not be stopped4 ,in playing an accompaniment for another1 do not forget that it is intended to aid1 and not to interrupt1 and that the instrument is subordinate to the singer4 ,when a lady is playing1 it is desirable that some one should turn the leaves for her4 ,some gentleman will be generally at hand to do this1 but unless he be able to read music1 his services may as well be dispensed with4 ,x4--,,letters ,,and ,,notes4 ,few accomplishments are more important than letter writing--in fact1 it is absolutely indispensable to every man or woman who desires to fill a respectable position it society4 ,but good letter-writers are rare4 ,too little attention is paid to the subject in our systems of education2 and the lack of the ability to write a decent letter1 or even a note of invitation1 acceptance1 or regret1 is often the cause of great mortification1 to say nothing of the delays1 misunderstandings1 and losses resulting in business affairs from bungling and incorrectly written letters4 ,the impossibility of doing justice to the subject in the very limited space that we could devote to it in this work1 compels us to refer the reader to our little manual of ,composition and ,letter-,writing1 entitled ,how to ,write1 in which the whole subject is thoroughly explained and illustrated4 ,,xi4--,,miscellaneous ,,hints4 #a4 ,which goes ,first8 ,in ascending or descending stairs with a lady1 it is proper to offer your arm1 provided the stair-case is sufficiently wide to permit two to go up or down abreast4 ,but if it is not1 which should go first8 ,authorities disagree4 ,usage is not settled4 ,it is a general rule of etiquette to give ladies the precedence everywhere4 ,is there a sufficient reason for making this an exception8 ,one says that if you follow a lady in going down stairs1 you are liable to tread on her dress1 and that if she precedes you in going up1 she might display a large foot or a thick ankle which were better concealed4 ,he thinks the gentleman should go first4 ,another calls this a maxim of prudery and the legacy of a maiden aunt4 ,colonel ,lunettes1 our oft-quoted friend of the old regime1 speaks very positively on this point4 ,nothing is more absurd1 he says1 than the habit of preceding ladies in ascending stairs1 adopted by some men--as if by following just behind them1 as one should if the arm be disengaged1 there can be any impropriety4 ,soiled frills and unmended hose must have originated this vulgarity4 ,let the ladies decide4 #b4 ,an ,american ,habit4 ,there is a habit peculiar to the ,united ,states1 and from which even some females1 who class themselves as ladies1 are not entirely free--that of lolling back1 balanced upon the two hind legs of a chair4 ,such a breach of good breeding is rarely committed in ,europe4 ,lolling is carried even so for in ,america1 that it is not uncommon to see the attorneys lay their feet upon the council table2 and the clerks and judges theirs also upon their desks in open court4 #c4 ,gloved or ,ungloved8 ,in shaking hands it is more respectful to offer an ungloved hand2 but if two gentlemen are both gloved1 it is very foolish to keep each other waiting to take them off4 ,you should not1 however1 offer a gloved hand to a lady or a superior who is ungloved4 ,foreigners are sometimes very sensitive in this matter1 and might deem the glove an insult4 ,it is well for a gentleman to carry his right-hand glove in his hand where he is likely to have occasion to shake hands4 ,at a ball or a party the gloves should not be taken off4 #d4 ,equality4 ,in company1 though none are free1 yet all are equal4 ,all1 therefore1 whom you meet should be treated with equal respect1 although interest may dictate toward each different degrees of attention4 ,it is disrespectful to the inviter to shun any of her guests4 #e4 ,false ,shame4 ,in a letter to his son1 ,lord ,chesterfield makes the following confession3 ,i have often wished an obscure acquaintance absent1 for meeting and taking notice of me when ,i was in what ,i thought and called fine company4 ,i have returned his notice shyly1 awkwardly1 and consequently offensively1 for fear of a momentary joker not considering1 as ,i ought to have done1 that the very people who would have joked upon me at first1 would have esteemed me the more for it afterward4 ,a good hint for us all4 #f4 ,pulling out one's ,watch4 ,pulling out your watch in company1 unasked1 either at home or abroad1 is a mark of ill-breeding4 ,if at home1 it appears as if you were tired of your company1 and wished them to be gone2 if abroad1 as if the hours dragged heavily1 and you wished to be gone yourself4 ,if you want to know the time1 withdraw2 besides1 as the taking what is called ,french leave was introduced1 that1 on one person's leaving the company1 the rest might not be disturbed1 looking at your watch does what that piece of politeness was designed to prevent4 #g4 ,husband and ,wife4 ,a gentleman speaks of his wife in a mixed company as ,mrs4 ----1 and a lady of her husband as ,mr4 ----4 ,so one does not say in speaking to another1 your wife1 or your husband1 but ,mrs4 or ,mr4 ----4 ,among intimates1 however1 to say my wife1 or my husband1 is better1 because less formal4 ,let there be a fitness in everything1 whatever conventional rules you may violate4 #h4 ,bowing vs4 ,curtseying4 ,curtseying is obsolete4 ,ladies now universally bow instead4 ,the latter is certainly a more convenient1 if not a more graceful form of salutation1 particularly on the street4 #i4 ,presents4 ,among friends1 presents ought to be made of things of small value2 or1 if valuable1 their worth should be derived from the style of the workmanship1 or from some accidental circumstance1 rather than from the inherent and solid richness4 ,especially never offer to a lady a gift of great cost2 it is in the highest degree indelicate1 and looks as if you were desirous of placing her under an obligation to you1 and of buying her good-will4 ,the gifts made by ladies to gentlemen are of the most refined nature possible2 they should be little articles not purchased1 but deriving a priceless value as being the offspring of their gentle skill2 a little picture from their pencil or a trifle from their needle4 ,a present should be made with as little parade and ceremony as possible4 ,if it is a small matter1 a gold pencil-case1 a thimble to a lady1 or an affair of that sort1 it should not be offered formally1 but in an indirect way4 ,emerson says3 ,rings and other jewels are not gifts1 but apologies for gifts4 ,the only gift is a portion of thyself4 ,thou must bleed for me4 ,therefore the poet brings his poem2 the shepherd1 his lamb2 the farmer1 his corn2 the miner1 a gem2 the sailor1 coral and shells2 the painter1 his picture2 the girl1 a handkerchief of her own sewing4 #aj4 ,snobbery4 ,when you hear a man insisting upon points of etiquette and fashion2 wondering1 for instance1 how people can eat with steel forks and survive it1 or what charms existence has for persons who dine at three without soup and fish1 be sure that that individual is a snob4 #aa4 ,children4 ,show1 but do not show off1 your children to strangers4 ,recollect1 in the matter of children1 how many are born every hour1 each are almost as remarkable as yours in the eyes of its papa and mamma4 ,,footnotes3 ,b ,colonel ,lunettes4 ,c ,manners ,book4 ,d ,etiquette for ,gentlemen4 ,e ,how to ,talk3 ,a ,pocket ,manual of ,conversation1 ,public ,speaking1 and ,debating4 ,new ,york4 ,fowler and ,wells4 ,price #hj cents4 ,f ,la ,bruyere ,g ,etiquette for ,gentlemen4 ,h ,chesterfield4 ,,vii4 ,,the ,,etiquette ,,of ,,occasions4 ,great plenty1 much formality1 small cheer1 ,and everybody out of his own sphere4--,byron4 ,i4--,,dinner ,,parties4 ,a young man or a young woman1 unaccustomed to the settled observances of such occasions1 can hardly pass through a severer ordeal than a formal dinner4 ,its terrors1 however1 are often greatly magnified4 ,such a knowledge of the principal points of table etiquette as you may acquire from this book1 complete self-possession1 habits of observation1 and a fair share of practical good sense1 will carry one safely if not pleasantly through it4 ,you may entertain the opinion that such dinners1 and formal parties in general1 are tiresome affairs1 and that there might be quite as much real courtesy and a great deal more enjoyment with less ceremony1 and we may entirely agree with you2 but what is1 and not what might be1 is the point to be elucidated4 ,we are to take society as we find it4 ,you may1 as a general rule1 decline invitations to dinner parties without any breach of good manners1 and without giving offense1 if you think that neither your enjoyment nor your interests will be promoted by accepting2 or you may not go into what is technically called society at all1 and yet you are liable1 at a hotel1 on board a steamer1 or on some extraordinary occasion1 to be placed in a position in which ignorance of dinner etiquette will be very mortifying and the information contained in this section be worth a hundred times the cost of the book4 ,we now proceed to note the common routine of a fashionable dinner1 as laid down in books and practiced in polite society4 ,on some points usage is not uniform1 but varies in different countries1 and even in different cities in the same country1 as well as in different circles in the same place4 ,for this reason you must not rely wholly upon this or any other manners book1 but1 keeping your eyes open and your wits about you1 wait and see what others do1 and follow the prevailing mode4 #a4 ,invitations4 ,invitations to a dinner are usually issued several days before the appointed time--the length of time being proportioned to the grandeur of the occasion4 ,on receiving one1 you should answer at once1 addressing the lady of the house4 ,you should either accept or decline unconditionally1 as they will wish to know whom to expect1 and make their preparations accordingly4 #b4 ,dress4 ,you must go to a dinner party in full dress4 ,just what this is1 is a question of time and place4 ,strictly interpreted1 it allows gentlemen but little choice4 ,a black dress coat and trowsers1 a black or white vest and cravat1 white gloves1 and pumps and silk stockings were formerly rigorously insisted upon4 ,but the freedom-loving spirit of the age has already made its influence felt even in the realms of fashion1 and a little more latitude is now allowed in most circles4 ,the ,american ,gentleman's ,guide enumerates the essentials of a gentleman's dress for occasions of ceremony in general1 as follows3 ,a stylish1 well-fitting cloth coat1 of some dark color and of unexceptionable quality1 nether garments to correspond1 or in warm weather1 or under other suitable circumstances1 white pants of a fashionable material and make1 the finest and purest linen1 embroidered in white1 if at all2 a cravat and vest of some dark or neutral tint1 according to the physiognomical peculiarities of the wearer and the prevailing mode2 an entirely fresh-looking1 fashionable black hat1 and carefully-fitted modish boots1 white gloves1 and a soft1 thin1 white handkerchief4 ,a lady's full dress is not easily defined1 and fashion allows her greater scope for the exercise of her taste in the selection of materials1 the choice of colors1 and the style of making4 ,still1 she must be in the fashion4 #c4 ,punctuality4 ,never allow yourself to be a minute behind the time4 ,the dinner can not be served till all the guests have arrived4 ,if it is spoiled through your tardiness1 you are responsible not only to your inviter1 but to his outraged guests4 ,better be too late for the steamer or the railway train than for a dinner6 #d4 ,going to the ,table4 ,when dinner is announced1 the host rises and requests all to walk to the dining-room1 to which he leads the way1 having given his arm to the lady who1 from age or any other consideration1 is entitled to precedence4 ,each gentleman offers his arm to a lady1 and all follow in order4 ,if you are not the principal guest1 you must be careful not to offer your arm to the handsomest or most distinguished lady4 #e4 ,arrangement of ,guests4 ,where rank or social position are regarded 7and where are they not to some extent871 the two most distinguished gentlemen are placed next the mistress of the house1 and the two most distinguished ladies next the master of the house4 ,the right hand is especially the place of honor4 ,if it is offered to you1 you should not refuse it4 ,it is one of the first and most difficult things properly to arrange the guests1 and to place them in such a manner that the conversation may always be general during the entertainment4 ,if the number of gentlemen is nearly equal to that of the ladies1 we should take care to intermingle them4 ,we should separate husbands from their wives1 and remove near relations as far from one another as possible1 because being always together they ought not to converse among themselves in a general party4 #f4 ,duties of the ,host4 ,to perform faultlessly the honors of the table is one of the most difficult things in society2 it might indeed be asserted1 without much fear of contradiction1 that no man has as yet ever reached exact propriety in his office as host4 ,when he receives others1 he must be content to forget himself2 he must relinquish all desire to shine1 and even all attempts to please his guests by conversation1 and rather do all in his power to let them please one another4 ,help ladies with a due appreciation of their delicacy1 moderation1 and fastidiousness of their appetites2 and do not overload the plate of any person you serve4 ,never pour gravy on a plate without permission4 ,it spoils the meat for some persons4 ,do not insist upon your guests partaking of particular dishes2 never ask persons more than once1 and never put anything by force upon their plates4 ,it is extremely ill-bred1 though extremely common1 to press one to eat of anything4 ,the host should never recommend or eulogize any particular dish2 his guests will take it for granted that anything found at his table is excellent4 ,the most important maxim in hospitality is to leave every one to his own choice and enjoyment1 and to free him from an ever-present sense of being entertained4 ,you should never send away your own plate until all your guests have finished4 #g4 ,duties of the ,guests4 ,gentlemen must be assiduous but not officious in their attentions to the ladies4 ,see that they lack nothing1 but do not seem to watch them4 ,if a grace is to be asked1 treat the observance with respect4 ,good manners require this1 even if veneration fails to suggest it4 ,soup will come first4 ,you must not decline it2 because nothing else can be served till the first course is finished1 and to sit with nothing before you would be awkward4 ,but you may eat as little of it as you choose4 ,the host serves his left-hand neighbor first1 then his right hand1 and so on till all are served4 ,take whatever is given you1 and do not offer it to your neighbor2 and begin at once to eat4 ,you must not suck soup into your month1 blow it1 or send for a second plate4 ,the second course is fish1 which is to be eaten with a fork1 and without vegetables4 ,the last part of this injunction does not1 of course1 apply to informal dinners1 where fish is the principal dish4 ,fish1 like soup1 is served but once4 ,when you have eaten what you wish1 you lay your fork on your plate1 and the waiter removes it4 ,the third course brings the principal dishes--roast and boiled meats1 fowl1 etc41 which are followed by game4 ,there are also side dishes of various kinds4 ,at dessert1 help the ladies near you to whatever they may require4 ,serve strawberries with a spoon1 but pass cherries1 grapes1 or peaches for each to help himself with his fingers4 ,you need not volunteer to pare an apple or a peach for a lady1 but should do so1 of course1 at her request1 using her fork or some other than your own to hold it4 ,we have said in our remarks on table manners in general1 in a previous chapter1 that in sending your plate for anything1 you should leave your knife and fork upon it4 ,for this injunction we have the authority of most of the books on etiquette1 as well as of general usage4 ,there seems also to be a reason for the custom in the fact1 that to hold them in your hand would be awkward1 and to lay them on the table-cloth might soil it2 but the author of the ,american ,gentleman's ,guide1 whose acquaintance with the best usage is not to be questioned1 says that they should be retained1 and either kept together in the hand1 or rested upon your bread1 to avoid soiling the cloth4 ,eat deliberately and decorously 7there can be no harm in repeating this precept71 masticate your food thoroughly1 and beware of drinking too much ice-water4 ,if your host is not a temperance man1 that is1 one pledged to total abstinence1 wine will probably be drunk4 ,you can of course decline1 but you must do so courteously1 and without any reflection upon those who drink4 ,you are not invited to deliver a temperance lecture4 ,where finger-glasses are used1 dip the tips of your fingers in the water and wipe them on your napkin2 and wet a corner of the napkin and wipe your mouth4 ,snobs sometimes wear gloves at table4 ,it is not necessary that you should imitate them4 ,the ,french fashion of having the principal dishes carved on a side-table1 and served by attendants1 is now very generally adopted at ceremonious dinners in this country1 but few gentlemen who go into company at all can safely count upon never being called upon to carve1 and the art is well worth acquiring4 ,ignorance of it sometimes places one in an awkward position4 ,you will find directions on this subject in almost any cook-book2 you will learn more1 however1 by watching an accomplished carver than in any other way4 ,do not allow yourself to be too much engrossed in attending to the wants of the stomach1 to join in the cheerful interchange of civilities and thoughts with those near you4 ,we must leave a hundred little things connected with a dinner party unmentioned2 but what we have said here1 together with the general canons of eating laid down in ,chapter ,,vi4 7,section #g1 ,table ,manners71 and a little observation1 will soon make you a proficient in the etiquette of these occasions1 in which1 if you will take our advice1 you will not participate very frequently4 ,an informal dinner1 at which you meet two or three friends1 and find more cheer and less ceremony1 is much to be preferred4 ,,ii4--,,evening ,,parties4 ,evening parties are of various kinds1 and more or less ceremonious1 as they are more or less fashionable4 ,their object is or should be social enjoyment1 and the manners of the company ought to be such as will best promote it4 ,a few hints1 therefore1 in addition to the general maxims of good behavior already laid down1 will suffice4 #a4 ,invitations4 ,having accepted an invitation to a party1 never fail to keep your promise1 and especially do not allow bad weather1 of any ordinary character1 to prevent your attendance4 ,a married man should never accept an invitation from a lady in which his wife is not included4 #b4 ,salutations4 ,when you enter a drawing-room where there is a party1 you salute the lady of the house before speaking to any one else4 ,even your most intimate friends are enveloped in an opake atmosphere until you have made your bow to your entertainer4,i ,you then mix with the company1 salute your acquaintances1 and join in the conversation4 ,you may converse freely with any person you meet on such an occasion1 without the formality of an introduction4 #c4 ,conversation4 ,when conversation is not general1 nor the subject sufficiently interesting to occupy the whole company1 they break up into different groups4 ,each one converses with one or more of his neighbors on his right and left4 ,we should1 if we wish to speak to any one1 avoid leaning upon the person who happens to be between4 ,a gentleman ought not to lean upon the arm of a lady's chair1 but he may1 if standing1 support himself by the back of it1 in order to converse with the lady partly turned toward him4,j ,the members of an invited family should never be seen conversing one with another at a party4 #d4 ,french ,leave4 ,if you desire to withdraw before the party breaks up1 take ,french leave--that is1 go quietly out without disturbing any one1 and without saluting even the mistress of the house1 unless you can do so without attracting attention4 ,the contrary course would interrupt the rest of the company1 and call for otherwise unnecessary explanations and ceremony4 #e4 ,sports and ,games4 ,among young people1 and particularly in the country1 a variety of sports or plays1 as they are called1 are in vogue4 ,some of them are fitting only for children2 but others are more intellectual1 and may be made sources of improvement as well as of amusement4 ,entering into the spirit of these sports1 we throw off some of the restraints of a more formal intercourse2 but they furnish no excuse for rudeness4 ,you must not forget your politeness in your hilarity1 or allow yourself to take liberties1 or lose your sense of delicacy and propriety4 ,the selection of the games or sports belongs to the ladies1 though any person may modestly propose any amusement1 and ask the opinion of others in reference to it4 ,the person who gives the party will exercise her prerogative to vary the play1 that the interest may be kept up4 ,if this were the proper place1 we should enter an earnest protest against the promiscuous kissing which sometimes forms part of the performances in some of these games1 but it is not our office to proscribe or introduce observances1 but to regulate them4 ,no true gentleman will abuse the freedom which the laws of the game allows2 but if required1 will delicately kiss the hand1 the forehead1 or1 at most1 the cheek of the lady4 ,a lady will offer her lips to be kissed only to a lover or a husband1 and not to him in company4 ,the ,french code is a good one3 ,give your hand to a gentleman to kiss1 your cheek to a friend1 but keep your lips for your lover4 ,never prescribe any forfeiture which can wound the feelings of any of the company1 and pay those which may be adjudged to you with cheerful promptness4 #f4 ,dancing4 ,an evening party is often only another name for a ball4 ,we may have as many and as weighty objections to dancing1 as conducted at these fashionable parties1 as to the formal dinners and rich and late suppers which are in vogue in the same circles1 but this is not the place to discuss the merits of the quadrille or the waltz1 but to lay down the etiquette of the occasions on which they are practiced4 ,we condense from the various authorities before us the following code3 #a4 ,according to the hours now in fashion in our large cities1 ten o'clock is quite early enough to present yourself at a dance4 ,you will even then find many coming after you4 ,in the country1 you should go earlier4 #b4 ,draw on your gloves 7white or yellow7 in the dressing-room1 and do not be for one moment with them off in the dancing-rooms4 ,at supper take them off2 nothing is more preposterous than to eat in gloves4 #c4 ,when you are sure of a place in the dance1 you go up to a lady and ask her if she will do you the honor to dance with you4 ,if she answers that she is engaged1 merely request her to name the earliest dance for which she is not engaged1 and when she will do you the honor of dancing with you4 #d4 ,if a gentleman offers to dance with a lady1 she should not refuse1 unless for some particular and valid reason1 in which case she can accept the next offer4 ,but if she has no further objection than a temporary dislike or a piece of coquetry1 it is a direct insult to him to refuse him and accept the next offer2 besides1 it shows too marked a preference for the latter4 #e4 ,when a woman is standing in a quadrille1 though not engaged in dancing1 a man not acquainted with her partner should not converse with her4 #f4 ,when an unpracticed dancer makes a mistake1 we may apprize him of his error2 but it would be very impolite to have the air of giving him a lesson4 #g4 ,unless a man has a very graceful figure1 and can use it with great elegance1 it is better for him to walk through the quadrilles1 or invent some gliding movement for the occasion4 #h4 ,at the end of the dance1 the gentleman re-conducts the lady to her place1 bows1 and thanks her for the honor which she has conferred4 ,she also bows in silence4 #i4 ,the master of the house should see that all the ladies dance4 ,he should take notice particularly of those who seem to serve as drapery to the walls of the ball-room 7or wall flowers1 as the familiar expression is71 and should see that they are invited to dance4 #aj4 ,ladies who dance much should be very careful not to boast before those who dance but little or not at all1 of the great number of dances for which they are engaged in advance4 ,they should also1 without being perceived1 recommend these less fortunate ladies to gentlemen of their acquaintance4 #aa4 ,for any of the members1 either sons or daughters1 of the family at whose house the ball is given1 to dance frequently or constantly1 denotes decided ill-breeding2 the ladies should not occupy those places in a quadrille which others may wish to fill1 and they should1 moreover1 be at leisure to attend to the rest of the company2 and the gentlemen should be entertaining the married women and those who do not dance4 #ab4 ,never hazard taking part in a quadrille1 unless you know how to dance tolerably2 for if you are a novice1 or but little skilled1 you would bring disorder into the midst of pleasure4 #ac4 ,if you accompany your wife to a dance1 be careful not to dance with her1 except perhaps the first set4 #ad4 ,when that long and anxiously desiderated hour1 the hour of supper1 has arrived1 you hand the lady you attend up or down to the supper-table4 ,you remain with her while she is at the table1 seeing that she has all that she desires1 and then conduct her back to the dancing-rooms4 #ae4 ,a gentleman attending a lady should invariably dance the first set with her1 and may afterward introduce her to a friend for the purpose of dancing4 #af4 ,ball-room introductions cease with the object--viz43 dancing2 nor subsequently anywhere else can a gentleman approach the lady by salutation or in any other mode without a re-introduction of a formal character4 ,this code must be understood as applying in full only to fashionable dancing parties in the city1 though most of the rules should be adhered to in any place4 ,the good sense of the reader will enable him to modify them to suit any particular occasion4 ,,iii4--,,annual ,,festivals4 #a4 ,christmas4 ,at ,christmas people give parties and make presents4 ,in ,europe1 and in some portions of our own country1 it is the most important festive occasion in the year4 ,beyond the religious observances of the ,catholics1 ,episcopalians1 and some other sects1 and the universal custom of making presents to all our relatives and intimate friends1 and especially to the children1 there is no matter of etiquette peculiar to ,christmas which it is necessary for us to note4 ,we have already spoken of presents2 and religious ceremonies will find a place in another chapter4 #b4 ,the ,new ,year4 ,in ,new ,york1 and some other cities and towns which have adopted its customs1 every gentleman is expected to call on all his lady acquaintances on ,new ,year's day2 and each lady on her part must be prepared properly to do the honors of her house4 ,refreshments are usually provided in great profusion4 ,the etiquette of these occasions does not differ materially from that of ceremonious morning calls1 except that the entire day is devoted to them1 and they may be extended beyond the limits of one's ordinary visiting list4 ,the ladies may make their calls on the next day1 or any time within the week4 #c4 ,thanksgiving4 ,this is the great family festival of ,new ,england--the season of home gatherings4 ,sons and daughters1 scattered far and wide1 then turn instinctively toward the old homestead1 and the fireside of their childhood is again made glad by their presence and that of their little ones4 ,etiquette requires fat turkeys1 well roasted1 a plenty of pumpkin pies1 unbounded hospitality1 genuine friendliness1 and cheerful and thankful hearts4 #d4 ,birthdays4 ,birthdays are sometimes made family festivals at which parties are given1 and presents made to the one whose anniversary is celebrated4 ,in ,france1 these occasions are observed with great merry making and many felicitations and gifts4 ,,iv4--,,excursions ,,and ,,picnics4 ,picnic excursions into the country are not occasions of ceremony1 but call for the exercise of all one's real good nature and good breeding4 ,on leaving the carriage1 cars1 or steamboat1 gentlemen should of course relieve the ladies they attend of the shawls1 baskets1 etc41 with which they may have provided themselves1 and give them all necessary assistance in reaching the spot selected for the festivities4 ,it is also their duty and their happiness to accompany them in their rambles1 when it is the pleasure of the fair ones to require their attendance1 but not to be obtrusive4 ,they may sometimes wish to be alone4 ,if a lady chooses to seat herself upon the ground1 you are not at liberty to follow her example unless she invites you to be seated4 ,she must not have occasion to think of the possibility of any impropriety on your part4 ,you are her servant1 protector1 and guard of honor4 ,you will of course give her your hand to assist her in rising4 ,when the sylvan repast is served1 you will see that the ladies whose cavalier you have the honor to be1 lack nothing4 ,the ladies1 social queens though they be1 should not forget that every favor or act of courtesy and deference1 by whoever shown1 demands some acknowledgment on their part--a word1 a bow1 a smile1 or at least a kind look4 ,v4--,,weddings4 ,we copy from one of the numerous manners books before us the following condensed account of the usual ceremonies of a formal wedding4 ,a simpler1 less ceremonious1 and more private mode of giving legal sanction to an already existing union of hearts would be more to our taste2 but1 as the ,french proverb has it1 ,chacun a son gout4,k ,for a stylish wedding1 the lady requires a bridegroom1 two bridesmaids1 two groomsmen1 and a parson or magistrate1 her relatives and whatever friends of both parties they may choose to invite4 ,for a formal wedding in the evening1 a week's notice is requisite4 ,the lady fixes the day4 ,her mother or nearest female relation invites the guests4 ,the evening hour is #h o'clock2 but if the ceremony is private1 and the happy couple to start immediately and alone1 the ceremony usually takes place in the morning at eleven or twelve o'clock4 ,if there is an evening party1 the refreshments must be as usual on such occasions1 with the addition of wedding cake1 commonly a pound cake with rich frosting1 and a fruit cake4 ,the dress of the bride is of the purest white2 her head is commonly dressed with orange flowers1 natural or artificial1 and white roses4 ,she wears few ornaments1 and none but such as are given her for the occasion4 ,a white lace vail is often worn on the head4 ,white long gloves and white satin slippers complete the costume4 ,the dress of the bridegroom is simply the full dress of a gentleman1 of unusual richness and elegance4 ,the bridesmaids are dressed also in white1 but more simply than the bride4 ,at the hour appointed for the ceremony1 the second bridesmaid and groomsman1 when there are two1 enter the room2 then1 first bridesmaid and groomsman2 and lastly the bride and bridegroom4 ,they enter1 the ladies taking the arms of the gentlemen1 and take seats appointed1 so that the bride is at the right of the bridegroom1 and each supported by their respective attendants4 ,a chair is then placed for the clergyman or magistrate in front of the happy pair4 ,when he comes forward to perform the ceremony1 the bridal party rises4 ,the first bridesmaid1 at the proper time1 removes the glove from the left hand of the bride2 or1 what seems to us more proper1 both bride and bridegroom have their gloves removed at the beginning of the ceremony4 ,in joining hands they take each other's right hand1 the bride and groom partially turning toward each other4 ,the wedding ring1 of plain fine gold1 provided beforehand by the groom1 is sometimes given to the clergyman1 who presents it4 ,it is placed upon the third finger of the left hand4 ,when the ceremony is ended1 and the twain are pronounced one flesh1 the company present their congratulations--the clergyman first1 then the mother1 the father of the bride1 and the relations2 then the company1 the groomsmen acting as masters of ceremonies1 bringing forward and introducing the ladies1 who wish the happy couple joy1 happiness1 prosperity2 but not exactly many happy returns4 ,the bridegroom takes an early occasion to thank the clergyman1 and to put in his hand1 at the same time1 nicely enveloped1 a piece of gold1 according to his ability and generosity4 ,the gentleman who dropped two half dollars into the minister's hands1 as they were held out1 in the prayer1 was a little confused by the occasion4 ,when a dance follows the ceremony and congratulations1 the bride dances1 first1 with the first groomsman1 taking the head of the room and the quadrille1 and the bridegroom with the first bridesmaid2 afterwards as they please4 ,the party breaks up early--certainly by twelve o'clock4,l ,the cards of the newly married couple are sent to those only whose acquaintance they wish to continue4 ,no offense should be taken by those whom they may choose to exclude4 ,send your card1 therefore1 with the lady's1 to all whom you desire to include in the circle of your future acquaintances4 ,the lady's card will have engraved upon it1 below her name1 ,at home1 ---- evening1 at--o'clock4 ,they should be sent a week previous to the evening indicated4 ,,vi4--,,funerals4 ,when any member of a family is dead1 it is customary to send intelligence of the misfortune to all who have been connected with the deceased in relations of business or friendship4 ,the letters which are sent contain a special invitation to assist at the funeral4 ,such a letter requires no answer4 ,at an interment or funeral service1 the members of the family are entitled to the first places4 ,they are nearest to the coffin1 whether in the procession or in the church4 ,the nearest relations go in a full mourning dress4 ,we are excused from accompanying the body to the burying-ground1 unless the deceased be a relation or an intimate friend4 ,if we go as far as the burying-ground1 we should give the first carriage to the relations or most intimate friends of the deceased4 ,we should walk with the head uncovered1 silently1 and with such a mien as the occasion naturally suggests4 ,,footnotes3 ,i ,etiquette for ,gentlemen4 ,j ,madame ,celnart ,k ,each one to his taste4 ,l ,manners ,book4 ,,viii4 ,,the ,,etiquette ,,of ,,places4 ,to ladies always yield your seat1 ,and lift your hat upon the street4--,uncle ,dan4 ,i4--,,on ,,the ,,street4 ,nowhere has a man or a woman occasion more frequently to exercise the virtue of courtesy than on the street2 and in no place is the distinction between the polite and the vulgar more marked4 ,the following are some of the rules of street etiquette3 ,except in a case of necessity1 you should not stop a business man on the street during business hours4 ,he may have appointments1 and1 in any event1 his time is precious4 ,if you must speak with him1 walk on in his direction1 or if you detain him1 state your errand briefly1 and politely apologize for the detention4 ,do not allow yourself to be so absent-minded or absorbed in your business as not to recognize and salute your acquaintances on the street4 ,you must not make the pressure of your affairs an excuse for rudeness4 ,if you do not intend to stop1 on meeting a friend1 touch your hat1 say ,good-morning1 or ,i hope you are well1 and pass on4 ,if you stop1 you may offer a gloved hand1 if necessary1 without apology4 ,waiting to draw off a tight glove is awkward4 ,in stopping to talk on the street1 you should step aside from the human current4 ,if you are compelled to detain a friend1 when he is walking with a stranger1 apologize to the stranger and release your friend as soon as possible4 ,the stranger will withdraw1 in order not to hear your conversation4 ,never leave a friend suddenly on the street1 either to join another or for any other reason1 without a brief apology4 ,in walking with gentlemen who are your superiors in age or station1 give them the place of honor1 by taking yourself the outer side of the pavement4 ,when you meet a lady with whom you are acquainted1 you should lift your hat1 as you bow to her2 but unless you are intimate friends1 it is the lady's duty to give some sign of recognition first1 as she might possibly choose to cut you1 and thus place you in a very awkward position2 but unless you have forfeited all claims to respect1 she certainly should not do such a thing4 ,in meeting a gentleman whom you know1 walking with a lady with whom you are not acquainted1 you are to bow with grave respect to her also4,m ,if you are acquainted with both1 you bow first to the lady1 and then1 less profoundly1 to the gentleman4 ,if your glove be dark colored1 or your hand ungloved1 do not offer to shake hands with a lady in full dress4 ,if you wish to speak with a lady whom you meet on the street1 turn and walk with her2 but you should not accompany her far1 except at her request1 and should always lift your hat and bow upon withdrawing4 ,be careful to avoid intrusion everywhere2 and for this reason be very sure that such an addition to their party would be perfectly agreeable before you join a lady and gentleman who may be walking together2 otherwise you might find yourself in the position of an awkward third4 ,in walking with ladies on the street1 gentlemen will of course treat them with the most scrupulous politeness4 ,this requires that you place yourself in that relative position in which you can best shield them from danger or inconvenience4 ,you generally give them the wall side1 but circumstances may require you to reverse this position4 ,you must offer your arm to a lady with whom you are walking whenever her safety1 comfort1 or convenience may seem to require such attention on your part4 ,at night1 in taking a long walk in the country1 or in ascending the steps of a public building1 your arm should always be tendered4 ,in walking with ladies or elderly people1 a gentleman must not forget to accommodate his speed to theirs4 ,in walking with any person you should keep step with military precision4 ,if a lady with whom you are walking receives the salute of a person who is a stranger to you1 you should return it1 not for yourself1 but for her4 ,when a lady whom you accompany wishes to enter a shop1 or store 7if we must use an ,americanism to explain a good ,english word71 you should hold the door open and allow her to enter first1 if practicable2 for you must never pass before a lady anywhere1 if you can avoid it1 or without an apology4 ,if a lady addresses an inquiry to a gentleman on the street1 he will lift his hat1 or at least touch it respectfully1 as he replies4 ,if he can not give the information required1 he will express his regrets4 ,when tripping over the pavement1 ,madame ,celnart says1 a lady should gracefully raise her dress a little above her ankle4 ,with her right hand she should hold together the folds of her gown and draw them toward the right side4 ,to raise the dress on both sides1 and with both hands1 is vulgar4 ,this ungraceful practice can be tolerated only for a moment1 when the mud is very deep4 ,this was written in ,paris1 and not in ,new ,york4 ,american ladies dress too richly and elaborately for the street4 ,you should dress well--neatly and in good taste1 and in material adapted to the season2 but the full costume1 suitable to the carriage or the drawing-room1 is entirely out of place in a shopping excursion1 and does not indicate a refined taste2 in other words1 it looks snobbish4 ,the out-door costume of ladies is not complete without a shawl or a mantle4 ,shawls are difficult to wear gracefully1 and few ,american ladies wear them well4 ,you should not drag a shawl tight to your shoulders1 and stick out your elbows1 but fold it loosely and gracefully1 so that it may fully envelop the figure4 ,,ii4--,,shopping4 ,madame ,celnart has the following hints to the ladies on this important subject4 ,having enjoined the most patient and forbearing courtesy on the part of the shopkeeper1,n she proceeds3 ,every civility ought to be reciprocal1 or nearly so4 ,if the officious politeness of the shopkeeper does not require an equal return1 he has at least a claim to civil treatment2 and1 finally1 if this politeness proceed from interest1 is this a reason why purchasers should add to the unpleasantness of his profession1 and disregard violating the laws of politeness8 ,many very respectable people allow themselves so many infractions in this particular1 that ,i think it my duty to dwell upon it4 ,you should never say1 ,i want such a thing1 but ,show me1 if you please1 that article1 or use some other polite form of address4 ,if they do not show you at first the articles you desire1 and you are obliged to examine a great number1 apologize to the shopkeeper for the trouble you give him4 ,if after all you can not suit yourself1 renew your apologies when you go away4 ,if you make small purchases1 say1 ,i am sorry for having troubled you for so trifling a thing4 ,if you spend a considerable time in the selection of articles1 apologize to the shopkeeper who waits for you to decide4 ,if the price seems to you too high1 and the shop has not fixed prices1 ask an abatement in brief and civil terms1 and without ever appearing to suspect the good faith of the shopkeeper4 ,if he does not yield1 do not enter into a contest with him1 but go away1 after telling him politely that you think you can obtain the article cheaper elsewhere1 but if not1 that you will give him the preference4 ,,iii4--,,at ,,church4 ,if you go to church1 be in season1 that you may not interrupt the congregation by entering after the services have commenced4 ,the celebrated ,mrs4 ,chapone said that it was a part of her religion not to disturb the religion of others4 ,we may all adopt with profit that article of her creed4 ,always remove your hat on entering a church4 ,if you attend ladies1 you open the door of the slip for them1 allowing them to enter first4 ,your demeanor should of course be such as becomes the place and occasion4 ,if you are so unfortunate as to have no religious feelings yourself1 you must respect those of others4 ,it is the custom in some places for gentlemen who may be already in a slip or pew to deploy into the aisle1 on the arrival of a lady who may desire admittance1 allow her to enter1 and then resume their seats4 ,this is a very awkward and annoying maneuver4 ,you should pay due respect to the observances of the church you attend4 ,if you have conscientious scruples against kneeling in an ,episcopal or ,catholic church1 you should be a little more conscientious1 and stay away4 ,good manners do not require young gentlemen to stand about the door of a church to see the ladies come out2 and the ladies will excuse the omission of this mark of admiration4 ,,iv4--,,at ,,places ,,of ,,amusement4 ,gentlemen who attend ladies to the opera1 to concerts1 to lectures1 etc41 should endeavor to go early in order to secure good seats1 unless1 indeed1 they have been previously secured1 and to avoid the disagreeable crowd which they are liable to encounter if they go a little later4 ,gentlemen should take off their hats on entering any public room 7or dwelling either74 ,they will1 of course1 do so if attending ladies1 on showing them their seats4 ,having taken your seats1 remain quietly in them1 and avoid1 unless absolute necessity require it1 incommoding others by crowding out and in before them4 ,if obliged to do this1 politely apologize for the trouble you cause them4 ,to talk during the performance is an act of rudeness and injustice4 ,you thus proclaim your own ill-breeding and invade the rights of others1 who have paid for the privilege of hearing the performers1 and not for listening to you4 ,if you are in attendance upon a lady at any opera1 concert1 or lecture1 you should retain your seat at her side2 but if you have no lady with you1 and have taken a desirable seat1 you should1 if need be1 cheerfully relinquish it in favor of a lady1 for one less eligible4 ,be careful to secure your libretto or opera book1 concert bill or programme1 before taking your seat4 ,to the opera1 ladies should wear opera hoods1 which are to be taken off on entering4 ,in this country1 custom permits the wearing of bonnets2 but as they are 7in our opinion7 neither comfortable nor beautiful1 we advise the ladies to dispense with their use whenever they can4 ,gloves should be worn by ladies in church1 and in places of public amusement4 ,do not take them off to shake hands4 ,great care should be taken that they are well made and fit neatly4 ,v4--,,in ,a ,,picture ,,gallery4 ,a gallery of paintings or sculpture is a temple of ,art1 and he is little better than a barbarian who can enter it without a feeling of reverence for the presiding divinity of the place4 ,loud talking1 laughing1 pushing before others who are examining a picture or statue1 moving seats noisily1 or any rude or discourteous conduct1 seems like profanation in such a place4 ,avoid them by all means1 we entreat you2 and though you wear your hat everywhere else1 reverently remove it here4 ,,vi4--,,the ,,presence4 ,the mode in which respect to the presence of a human being should be shown maybe left to custom4 ,in the ,east1 men take off their shoes before entering an apartment4 ,we take off the hat1 and add a verbal salutation4 ,the mode is unimportant2 it may vary with the humor of the moment2 it may change with the changing fashion2 but no one who respects himself1 and has a proper regard for others1 will omit to give some sign that he recognizes an essential difference between a horse and a man1 between a stable and a house4,o ,,vii4---,,traveling4 ,under no circumstances is courtesy more urgently demanded1 or rudeness more frequently displayed1 than in traveling4 ,the infelicities and vexations which so often attend a journey seem to call out all the latent selfishness of one's nature2 and the commonest observances of politeness are1 we are sorry to say1 sometimes neglected4 ,in the scramble for tickets1 for seats1 for state-rooms1 or for places at a public table1 good manners are too frequently elbowed aside and trampled under foot4 ,even our national deference for women is occasionally lost sight of in our headlong rush for the railway cars or the steamer4 ,to avoid the scramble we have alluded to1 purchase tickets and secure state-rooms in advance1 if practicable1 especially if you are accompanied by ladies1 and1 in any event1 be in good time4 ,in the cars or stage-coach never allow considerations of personal comfort or convenience to cause you to disregard for a moment the rights of your fellow-travelers1 or forget the respectful courtesy due to woman4 ,the pleasantest or most comfortable seats belong to the ladies1 and no gentleman will refuse to resign such seats to them with a cheerful politeness4 ,in a stage-coach you give them the back seat1 unless they prefer another and take an outside seat yourself1 if their convenience requires it4 ,but a word to--,americans will be enough on this point4 ,and what do good manners require of the ladies8 ,that which is but a little thing to the bestower1 but of priceless value to the receiver--thanks--a smile--a grateful look at least4 ,is this too much8 ,mr4 ,arbiter1 whom we find quoted in a newspaper1 has some rather severe strictures on the conduct of ,american ladies4 ,he says3 ,we boast of our politeness as a nation1 and point out to foreigners1 with pride1 the alacrity with which ,americans make way for women in all public places4 ,some love to call this chivalry4 ,it is certainly an amiable trait of character1 though frequently carried to an absurd extent4 ,but what the men possess in this form of politeness the women appear to have lost4 ,they never think of acknowledging1 in any way1 the kindness of the gentleman who gives up his seat1 but settle themselves triumphantly in their new places1 as if they were entitled to them by divine right4 ,we are compelled to admit that there is at least an appearance of truth in this charge4 ,we have had constant opportunities to observe the behavior of ladies in omnibuses and on board the crowded ferry-boats which ply between some of our large cities and their suburbs4 ,we have1 of course 7as what gentleman has not871 relinquished our seats hundreds of times to ladies4 ,for the occasional bow or smile of acknowledgment1 or pleasant ,thank you1 which we have received in return1 we have almost invariably been indebted to some fair foreigner4 ,we believe that ,american ladies are as polite at heart as those of any other nation1 but they do not say it4 ,the fair readers of our little book will1 we are sure1 excuse us for these hints1 since they are dictated by the truest and most reverent love for their sex1 and a sincere desire to serve them4 ,if in traveling you are thrown into the company of an invalid1 or an aged person1 or a woman with children and without a male protector1 feelings of humanity1 as well as sentiments of politeness1 will dictate such kind attentions as1 without being obtrusive1 you can find occasion to bestow4 ,you have no right to keep a window open for your accommodation1 if the current of air thus produced annoy or endanger the health of another4 ,there are a sufficient number of discomforts in traveling1 at best1 and it should be the aim of each passenger to lessen them as much as possible1 and to cheerfully bear his own part4 ,life is a journey1 and we are all fellow-travelers4 ,if in riding in an omnibus1 or crossing a ferry with a friend1 he wishes to pay for you1 never insist on paying for yourself or for both4 ,if he is before you1 let the matter pass without remark1 and return the compliment on another occasion4 ,,footnotes3 ,m ,colonel ,lunettes ,n ,for hints on the importance of politeness as an element of success in business1 see ,how to ,do ,business4 ,o ,james ,parton4 ,,ix4 ,,love ,,and ,,courtship4 ,learn to win a lady's faith ,nobly1 as the thing is high2 ,bravely1 as for life and death1 ,with a loyal gravity4 ,lead her from the festive boards2 ,point her to the starry skies2 ,guard her by your truthful words ,pure from courtship's flatteries4--,mrs4 ,browning4 ,i4--,a ,,hint ,,or ,,two4 ,to treat the subject of love and courtship in all its bearings would require a volume4 ,it is with the etiquette of the tender passion that we have to do here4 ,a few preliminary hints1 however1 will not be deemed out of place4 ,boys often fall in love 7and girls too1 we believe7 at a very tender age4 ,some charming cousin1 or a classmate of his sister1 in the village school1 weaves silken meshes around the throbbing heart of the young man in his teens4 ,this is well4 ,he is made better and happier by his boyish loves--for he generally has a succession of them1 but they are seldom permanent4 ,they are only beautiful foreshadowings of the deeper and more earnest love of manhood1 which is to bind him to his other self with ties which only death can sever4 ,read ,ik ,marvel's ,dream ,life4 ,before a young man has reached the proper age to marry--say twenty-five1 as an average--he ought to have acquired such a knowledge of himself1 physically and mentally considered1 and of the principles which ought to decide the choice of matrimonial partners and govern the relations of the sexes1 as will enable him to set up a proper standard of female excellence1 and to determine what qualities1 physical and mental1 should characterize the woman who is to be the angel of his home and the mother of his children4 ,with this knowledge he is prepared to go into society and choose his mate1 following trustingly the attractions of his soul4 ,love is an affair of the heart1 but the head should be its privy counselor4 ,do not make up your mind to wait till you have acquired a fortune before you marry4 ,you should not1 however1 assume the responsibilities of a family without a reasonable prospect of being able to maintain one4 ,if you are established in business1 or have an adequate income for the immediate requirements of the new relation1 you may safely trust your own energy and self-reliance for the rest4 ,women reach maturity earlier than men1 and may marry earlier--say 7as an average age71 at twenty4 ,the injunction1 ,know thyself1 applies with as much emphasis to a woman as to a man4 ,her perceptions are keener than ours1 and her sensibilities finer1 and she may trust more to instinct1 but she should add to these natural qualifications a thorough knowledge of her own physical and mental constitution1 and of whatever relates to the requirements of her destiny as wife and mother4 ,the importance of sound health and a perfect development1 can not be overrated4 ,without these you are ,,never fit to marry4,p ,having satisfied yourself that you really love a woman--be careful1 as you value your future happiness and hers1 not to make a mistake in this matter--you will find occasion to manifest1 in a thousand ways1 your preference1 by means of those tender but delicate and deferential attentions which love always prompts4 ,let the heart speak4 ,the heart you address will understand its language4 ,be earnest1 sincere1 self-loyal1 and manly in this matter above all others4 ,let there be no nauseous flattery and no sickly sentimentality ,leave the former to fops and the latter to beardless school-boys4 ,though women do not propose--that is1 as a general rule--they make love to the men none the less2 and it is right4 ,the divine attraction is mutual1 and should have its proper expression on both sides4 ,if you are attracted toward a man who seems to you an embodiment of all that is noble and manly1 you do injustice both to him and yourself if you do not1 in some way entirely consistent with maiden modesty1 allow him to see and feel that he pleases you4 ,but you do not need our instructions1 and we will only hint1 in conclusion1 that forwardness1 flirting1 and a too obtrusive manifestation of preference are not agreeable to men of sense4 ,as a man should be manly1 so should a woman be womanly in her love4 ,,ii4--,,observances4 #a4 ,particular ,attentions4 ,avoid even the slightest appearance of trifling with the feelings of a woman4 ,a female coquette is bad enough4 ,a male coquette ought to be banished from society4 ,let there be a clearly perceived1 if not an easily defined1 distinction between the attentions of common courtesy or of friendship and those of love4 ,all misunderstanding on this point can and must be avoided4 ,the particular attentions you pay to the object of your devotion should not make you rude or uncivil to other women4 ,every woman is her sister1 and should be treated with becoming respect and attention4 ,your special attentions to her in society should not be such as to make her or you the subject of ridicule4 ,make no public exhibition of your endearments4 #b4 ,presents4 ,if you make presents1 let them be selected with good taste1 and of such cost as is fully warranted by your means4 ,your mistress will not love you better for any extravagance in this matter4 ,the value of a gift is not to be estimated in dollars and cents4 ,a lady of good sense and delicacy will discourage in her lover all needless expenditure in ministering to her gratification1 or in proof of his devotion4 #c4 ,confidants4 ,lovers usually feel a certain need of confidants in their affairs of the heart4 ,in general1 they should be of the opposite sex4 ,a young man may with profit open his heart to his mother1 an elder sister1 or a female friend considerably older than himself4 ,the young lady may with equal advantage make a brother1 an uncle1 or some good middle-aged married man the repository of her love secrets1 her hopes1 and her fears4 #d4 ,declarations4 ,we shall make no attempt to prescribe a form for popping the question4 ,each must do it in his own way2 but let it be clearly understood and admit no evasion4 ,a single word--yes1 less than that1 on the lady's part1 will suffice to answer it4 ,if the carefully studied phrases which you have repeated so many times and so fluently to yourself1 will persist in sticking in your throat and choking you1 put them correctly and neatly on a sheet of the finest white note paper1 inclosed in a fine but plain white envelope 7see ,how to ,write71 seal it handsomely with wax1 address and direct it carefully1 and find some way to convey it to her hand4 ,the lady's answer should be frank and unequivocal1 revealing briefly and modestly her real feelings and consequent decision4 #e4 ,asking ,pa4 ,asking the consent of parents or guardians is1 in this country1 where women claim a right to choose for themselves1 a mere form1 and may often be dispensed with4 ,the lady's wishes1 however1 should be complied with in this as in all other matters4 ,and if consent is refused8 ,this will rarely happen4 ,if it does1 there is a remedy1 and we should have a poor opinion of the love or the spirit of the woman who would hesitate to apply it4 ,if she is of age1 she has a legal as well as a moral right to bestow her love and her hand upon whom she pleases4 ,if she does not love you well enough to do this1 at any sacrifice1 you should consider the refusal of her friends a very fortunate occurrence4 ,if she is not of age1 the legal aspect of the affair may be different1 but1 at worst1 she can wait until her majority puts her in possession of all her rights4 #f4 ,refusals4 ,if a lady finds it necessary to say no to a proposal1 she should do it in the kindest and most considerate manner1 so as not to inflict unnecessary pain2 but her answer should be definite and decisive1 and the gentleman should at once withdraw his suit4 ,if ladies will my no when they mean yes1 to a sincere and earnest suitor1 they must suffer the consequences4 #g4 ,engagement4 ,the engaged need not take particular pains to proclaim the nature of the relation in which they stand to each other1 neither should they attempt or desire to conceal it4 ,their intercourse with each other should be frank and confiding1 but prudent1 and their conduct in reference to other persons of the opposite sex1 such as will not give occasion for a single pang of jealousy4 ,of the getting ready1 which follows the engagement1 on the part of the lady1 our fair readers know a great deal more than we could tell them4 #h4 ,breaking ,off4 ,engagements made in accordance with the simple and brief directions contained in the first section of this chapter1 will seldom be broken off4 ,if such a painful necessity occurs1 let it be met with firmness1 but with delicacy4 ,if you have made a mistake1 it is infinitely better to correct it at the last moment than not at all4 ,a marriage is not so easily broken off4 ,on breaking off an engagement1 all letters1 presents1 etc41 should be returned1 and both parties should consider themselves pledged to the most honorable and delicate conduct in reference to the whole matter1 and to the private affairs of each other1 a knowledge of which their former relation may have put into their possession4 #i4 ,marriage4 ,it devolves upon the lady to fix the day4 ,she will hardly disregard the stereotyped request of the impatient lover to make it an early one2 but she knows best how soon the never-to-be-neglected preparations can be made4 ,for the wedding ceremonies see ,chapter ,,vii4 ,a few hints to husbands and wives may be found in ,chapter ,v4 ,,footnote3 ,p ,see ,physical ,perfection2 or ,how to ,acquire and ,retain ,beauty1 ,grace1 and ,strength1 now 7#aheg7 in the course of preparation4 ,x4 ,,parliamentary ,,etiquette4 ,the object of a meeting for deliberation is1 of course1 to obtain a free expression of opinion and a fair decision of the questions discussed4 ,without rules of order this object would1 in most cases1 be utterly defeated2 for there would be no uniformity in the modes of proceeding1 no restraint upon indecorous or disorderly conduct1 no protection to the rights and privileges of members1 no guarantee against the caprices and usurpations of the presiding officer1 no safeguard against tyrannical majorities1 nor any suitable regard to the rights of the minority4--,mc,elligott4 ,i4--,,courtesy ,,in ,,debate4 ,the fundamental principles of courtesy1 so strenuously insisted upon throughout this work1 must be rigorously observed in the debating society1 lyceum1 legislative assembly1 and wherever questions are publicly debated4 ,in fact1 we have not yet discovered any occasion on which a gentleman is justified in being anything less than--a gentleman4 ,in a paragraph appended to the constitution and by-laws of a ,new ,york debating club1 members are enjoined to treat each other with delicacy and respect1 conduct all discussions with candor1 moderation1 and open generosity1 avoid all personal allusions and sarcastic language calculated to wound the feelings of a brother1 and cherish concord and good fellowship4 ,the spirit of this injunction should pervade the heart of every man who attempts to take part in the proceedings of any deliberative assembly4 ,,ii4--,,origin ,,of ,,the ,,parliamentary ,,code4 ,the rules of order of our ,state ,legislatures1 and of other less important deliberative bodies1 are1 in almost all fundamental points1 the same as those of the ,national ,congress1 which1 again1 are derived1 in the main1 from those of the ,british ,parliament1 the differences which exist growing out of differences in government and institutions4 ,it is in allusion to its origin that the code of rules and regulations thus generally adopted is often called ,the ,common ,code of ,parliamentary ,law4 ,,iii4--,,rules ,,of ,,order4 #a4 ,motions4 ,a deliberative body being duly organized1 motions are in order4 ,the party moving a resolution1 or making a motion in its simplest form1 introduces it either with or without remarks1 by saying3 ,mr4 ,president1 ,i beg leave to offer the following resolution1 or ,i move that1 etc4 ,a motion is not debatable till seconded4 ,the member seconding simply says3 ,i second that motion4 ,the resolution or motion is then stated by the chairman1 and is open for debate4 #b4 ,speaking4 ,a member wishing to speak on a question1 resolution1 or motion1 must rise in his place and respectfully address his remarks to the chairman or president1 confining himself to the question1 and avoiding personality4 ,should more than one member rise at the same time1 the chairman must decide which is entitled to the floor4 ,no member must speak more than once till every member wishing to speak shall have spoken4 ,in debating societies 7and it is for their benefit that we make this abstract7 it is necessary to define not only how many times1 but how long at each time a member may speak on a question4 #c4 ,submitting a ,question4 ,when the debate or deliberation upon a subject appears to be at a close1 the presiding officer simply asks1 ,is the society assembly1 or whatever the body may be ready for the question8 or1 ,are you ready for the question8 ,if no one signifies a desire further to discuss or consider the subject1 he then submits the question in due form4 #d4 ,voting4 ,the voting is generally by ayes and noes1 and the answers on both sides being duly given1 the presiding officer announces the result1 saying1 ,the ayes have it1 or1 ,the noes have it1 according as he finds one side or the other in the majority4 ,if there is a doubt in his mind which side has the larger number1 he says1 ,the ayes appear to have it1 or1 ,the noes appear to have it1 as the case may be4 ,if there is no dissent1 he adds1 ,the ayes have it1 or1 ,the noes have it4 ,but should the president be unable to decide1 or if his decision be questioned1 and a division of the house be called for1 it is his duty immediately to divide or arrange the assembly as to allow the votes on each side to be accurately counted2 and if the members are equally divided1 the president must give the casting vote4 ,it is the duty of every member to vote2 but in some deliberative bodies a member may be excused at his own request4 ,sometimes it is deemed advisable to record the names of members in connection with the votes they give1 in which case the roll is called by the secretary1 and each answers yes or no1 which is noted or marked opposite his name4 #e4 ,a ,quorum4 ,a quorum is such a number of members as may be required1 by rule or statute1 to be present at a meeting in order to render its transactions valid or legal4 #f4 ,the ,democratic ,principle4 ,all questions1 unless their decision be otherwise fixed by law1 are determined by a majority of votes4 #g4 ,privileged ,questions4 ,there are certain motions which are allowed to supersede a question already under debate4 ,these are called privileged questions4 ,the following are the usually recognized privileged questions3 #a4 ,adjournment4--,a motion to adjourn is always in order1 and takes precedence of all others2 but it must not be entertained while a member is speaking1 unless he give way for that purpose1 nor while a vote is in progress4 ,it is not debatable1 and can not be amended4 #b4 ,to ,lie on the ,table4--,a motion to lay a subject on the table--that is1 to set it aside till it is the pleasure of the body to resume its consideration--generally takes precedence of all others1 except the motion to adjourn4 ,it can neither be debated nor amended4 #c4 ,the ,previous ,question4--,the intention of the previous question is to arrest discussion and test at once the sense of the meeting4 ,its form is1 ,shall the main question now be put8 ,it is not debatable1 and can not be amended4 ,an affirmative decision precludes all further debate on the main question4 ,the effect of a negative decision1 unless otherwise determined by a special rule1 is to leave the main question and all amendments just as it found them4 #d4 ,postponement4--,a motion to postpone the consideration of a question indefinitely1 which is equivalent to setting it aside altogether1 may be amended by inserting a certain day4 ,it is not debatable4 #e4 ,commitment4--,a motion to commit is made when a question1 otherwise admissible1 is presented in an objectionable or inconvenient form4 ,if there be no standing committee to which it can be properly submitted1 a select committee may be raised for the purpose4 ,it may be amended4 #f4 ,amendment4--,the legitimate use of a motion to amend is to correct or improve the original motion or resolution2 but a motion properly before an assembly may be altered in any way2 even so as to turn it entirely from its original purpose1 unless some rule or law shall exist to prevent this subversion4 ,an amendment may be amended1 but here the process must cease4 ,an amendment must of course be put to vote before the original question4 ,a motion to amend holds the same rank as the previous question and indefinite postponement1 and that which is moved first must be put first4 ,it may be superseded1 however1 by a motion to postpone to a certain day1 or a motion to commit4 #g4 ,orders of the ,day4--,subjects appointed for a specified time are called orders of the day1 and a motion for them takes precedence of all other business1 except a motion to adjourn1 or a question of privilege4 #h4 ,questions of ,privilege4--,these are questions which involve the rights and privileges of individual members1 or of the society or assembly collectively4 ,they take precedence over all other propositions1 except a motion to adjourn4 #i4 ,questions of ,order4--,in case of any breach of the rules of the society or body1 any member may rise to the point of order1 and insist upon its due enforcement2 but in case of a difference of opinion whether a rule has been violated or not1 the question must be determined before the application of the rule can be insisted upon4 ,such a question is usually decided upon by the presiding officer1 without debate2 but any member may appeal from his decision1 and demand a vote of the house on the matter4 ,a question of order is debatable1 and the presiding officer1 contrary to rule in other cases1 may participate in the discussion4 #aj4 ,reading of ,papers4--,when papers or documents of any kind are laid before a deliberative assembly1 every member has a right to have them read before he can be required to vote upon them4 ,they are generally read by the secretary1 on the reading being called for1 without the formality of a vote4 #aa4 ,withdrawal of a ,motion4--,unless there be a rule to that effect1 a motion once before the assembly can not be withdrawn without a vote of the house1 on a motion to allow its withdrawal4 #ab4 ,the ,suspension of ,rules4--,when anything is proposed which is forbidden by a special rule1 it must be preceded by a motion for the suspension of the rule1 which1 if there be no standing rule to the contrary1 may be carried by a majority of votes2 but most deliberative bodies have an established rule on this subject1 requiring a fixed proportion of the votes--usually two thirds4 #ac4 ,the ,motion to ,reconsider4--,the intention of this is to enable an assembly to revise a decision found to be erroneous4 ,the time within which a motion to reconsider may be entertained is generally fixed by a special rule2 and the general rule is1 that it must emanate from some member who voted with the majority4 ,in ,congress1 a motion to reconsider takes precedence of all other motions1 except the motion to adjourn4 #h4 ,order of ,business4 ,in all permanently organized bodies there should be an order of business1 established by a special rule or by-law2 but where no such rule or law exists1 the president1 unless otherwise directed by a vote of the assembly1 arranges the business in such order as he may think most desirable4 ,the following is the order of business of the ,new ,york ,debating ,club1 referred to in a previous section4 ,it may be easily so modified as to be suitable for any similar society3 #a4 ,call to order4 #b4 ,calling the roll4 #c4 ,reading the minutes of previous meeting4 #d4 ,propositions for membership4 #e4 ,reports of special committee4 #f4 ,balloting for candidates4 #g4 ,reports of standing committee4 #h4 ,secretary's report4 #i4 ,treasurer's report4 #aj4 ,reading for the evening4 #aa4 ,recitations for the evening4 #ab4 ,candidates initiated4 #ac4 ,unfinished business4 #ad4 ,debate4 #ae4 ,new business4 #af4 ,adjournment4 #i4 ,order of ,debate4 #a4 ,a member having got the floor1 is entitled to be heard to the end1 or till the time fixed by rule has expired2 and all interruptions1 except a call to order1 are not only out of order1 but rude in the extreme4 #b4 ,a member who temporarily yields the floor to another1 is generally permitted to resume as soon as the interruption ceases1 but he can not claim to do so as a right4 #c4 ,it is neither in order nor in good taste to designate members by name in debate1 and they must in no case be directly addressed4 ,such forms as1 ,the gentleman who has just taken his seat1 or1 ,the member on the other side of the house1 etc41 may be made use of to designate persons4 #d4 ,every speaker is bound to confine himself to the question4 ,this rule is1 however1 very liberally interpreted in most deliberative assemblies4 #e4 ,every speaker is bound to avoid personalities1 and to exercise in all respects a courteous and gentlemanly deportment4 ,principles and measures are to be discussed1 and not the motives or character of those who advocate them4,q ,,footnote3 ,q ,the foregoing rules of order have been mainly condensed from that excellent work1 ,the ,american ,debater1 by ,james ,n4 ,mc,elligott1 ,,ll4,d41 to which the reader is referred for a complete exposition of the whole subject of debating4 ,published by ,ivison and ,phinney1 ,new ,york1 and for sale by ,fowler and ,wells4 ,,xi4 ,,miscellaneous ,,matters4 ,these1 some will say1 are little things4 ,it is true1 they are little but it is equally clear that they are necessary things4--,chesterfield4 ,i4--,,republican ,,distinctions4 ,we have defined equality in another place4 ,we fully accept the doctrine as there set forth4 ,we have no respect for mere conventional and arbitrary distinctions4 ,hereditary titles command no deference from us4 ,lords and dukes are entitled to no respect simply because they are lords and dukes4 ,if they are really noble men1 we honor them accordingly4 ,their titles are mere social fictions4 ,true republicanism requires that every man shall have an equal chance--that every man shall be free to become as unequal as he can4 ,no man should be valued the less or the more on account of his grandfather1 his position1 his possessions1 or his occupation4 ,the ,,man should be superior to the accidents of his birth1 and should take that rank which is due to his merit4,r ,the error committed by our professedly republican communities consists1 not in the recognition of classes and grades of rank1 but in placing them1 as they too often do1 on artificial and not on natural grounds4 ,we have had frequent occasion1 in the preceding pages1 to speak of superiors and inferiors4 ,we fully recognize the relation which these words indicate4 ,it is useless to quarrel with ,nature1 who has nowhere in the universe given us an example of the absolute1 unqualified1 dead-level equality which some pseudo-reformers have vainly endeavored to institute among men4 ,such leveling is neither possible nor desirable4 ,harmony is born of difference1 and not of sameness4 ,we have in our country a class of toad-eaters who delight in paying the most obsequious homage to fictitious rank of every kind4 ,a vulgar millionaire of the ,fifth ,avenue1 and a foreign adventurer with a meaningless title1 are equally objects of their misplaced deference4 ,losing sight of their own manhood and self-respect1 they descend to the most degrading sycophancy4 ,we have little hope of benefiting them4 ,they are joined to their idols2 let them alone4 ,but a much larger class of our people are inclined to go to the opposite extreme1 and ignore veneration1 in its human aspect1 altogether4 ,they have no reverence for anybody or anything4 ,this class of people will read our book1 and1 we trust1 profit by its well-meant hints4 ,we respect them1 though we can not always commend their manners4 ,they have independence and manliness1 but fail to accord due respect to the manhood of others4 ,it is for their special benefit that we leave touched with considerable emphasis on the deference due to age and genuine rank1 from whatever source derived4 ,your townsman1 ,mr4 ,dollarmark1 has no claim on you for any special token of respect1 simply because he inherited half a million1 which has grown in his hands to a million and a half1 while you can not count half a thousand1 or because he lives in his own palatial mansion1 and you in a hired cottage2 but your neighbor1 ,mr4 ,anvil1 who1 setting out in life1 like yourself1 without a penny1 has amassed a little fortune by his own unaided exertions1 and secured a high social position by his manliness1 integrity1 and good breeding1 is entitled to a certain deference on your part--a recognition of his merits and his superiority4 ,mr4 ,savant1 who has gained distinction for himself and conferred honor on his country by his scientific discoveries1 and your aged friend ,mr4 ,goodman1 who1 though a stranger to both wealth and fame1 is drawing toward the close of a long and useful life1 during which he has helped to build up and give character to the place in which he lives1 have1 each in his own way1 earned the right to some token of deference from those who have not yet reached an equally elevated position4 ,it is not for birth1 or wealth1 or occupation1 or any other accidental circumstance1 that we ask reverence1 but for inherent nobility wrought out in life4 ,this is what should give men rank and titles in a republic4 ,your hired man1 ,patrick1 may be your inferior1 but it is not because he is your hired man4 ,another man1 who is your superior in every way1 may stand in the same business relation to you4 ,he may sell you certain stipulated services for a stipulated amount of money2 but you bargain for no deference that your real social position and character do not call for from him4 ,he1 and not you1 may be entitled to the wall side1 and to precedence everywhere4 ,,ii4--,,city ,,and ,,country4 ,the words civil and civilized are derived from the ,latin civitas 7,ital41 citta71 a city1 and polite1 from the ,greek ,greek3 polis 7polis71 a city2 because cities are the first to become civilized1 or civil1 and polite1 or polished 7,latin1 polire74 ,they are still1 as a general rule1 the home of the most highly cultivated people1 as well as of the rudest and most degraded1 and unquestioned arbiters of fashion and social observances4 ,for this reason the rules of etiquette laid down in this and all other works on the subject of manners1 are calculated1 as the astronomers say1 for the meridian of the city4 ,the observances of the country are borrowed from the city1 and modified to suit the social condition and wants of the different localities4 ,this must always be borne in mind1 and your behavior regulated accordingly4 ,the white or pale yellow gloves1 which you must wear during the whole evening at a fashionable evening party in the city1 under pain of being set down as unbearably vulgar1 would be very absurd appendages at a social gathering at a farm-house in the country4 ,none but a snob would wear them at such a place4 ,so with other things4 ,,iii4--,,imported ,,manners4 ,n4 ,p4 ,willis says1 ,we should be glad to see a distinctly ,american school of good manners1 in which all useless etiquette were thrown aside1 but every politeness adopted or invented which could promote sensible and easy exchanges of good-will and sociability4 ,good sense and consideration for others should be the basis of every usage of polite life that is worth regarding4 ,indeed1 we have long thought that our country was old enough to adopt measures and etiquettes of its own1 based1 like all other politeness1 upon benevolence and common sense4 ,to get rid of imported etiquette is the first thing to do for ,american politeness4 ,this is an important truth well stated4 ,we have had enough of mere imported conventionalism in manners4 ,our usages should not be ,english or ,french usages1 further than ,english and ,french usages are founded on universal principles4 ,politeness is the same everywhere and always1 but the forms of etiquette must change with times and places2 for an observance which may be proper and useful in ,london or ,paris1 may be abundantly absurd in ,new ,york4 ,,iv4--,,fictitious ,,titles4 ,in answer to a correspondent who inquires whether an ,american citizen should address a ,european nobleman by his title1 ,life ,illustrated says3 ,we answer1 unhesitatingly1 ,no4 ,most of the ,european titles are purely fictitious1 as well as ridiculous4 ,the ,duke of ,northumberland1 for example1 has nothing in particular to do with ,northumberland1 nor does he exercise dukeship 7or leadership7 over anything except his private estate4 ,the title is a perfect absurdity2 it means nothing whatever2 it is a mere nickname2 and ,mr4 ,percy is a fool for permitting himself to be addressed as ',my ,lord ,duke1' and ',your ,grace4' ,indeed1 even in ,england1 gentlemen use those titles very sparingly1 and servants alone habitually employ then4 ,american citizens who are thrown1 in their travels1 or in their intercourse with society1 into communication with persons bearing titles1 may treat them with all due respect without ,gracing or ,my-,lording them4 ,in our opinion1 they should do so4 ,and we have faith enough in the good sense of the ,english people to believe that the next generation1 or the next but one1 will see a general abandonment of fictitious titles by the voluntary action of the very people who hold them4 ,at the same time1 we are inclined to think that the bestowment of real titles--titles which mean something1 titles given in recognition of distinguished worth and eminent services1 titles not hereditary--will be one of the most cherished prerogatives of the enlightened states of the good time coming4 ,the first step1 however1 must be the total abolition of all titles which are fictitious and hereditary4 ,v4--,a ,,mirror ,,for ,,certain ,,men4 ,the following rather broad hints to certain bipeds who ought to be gentlemen1 were clipped from some newspaper4 ,we are sorry we do not know to whom to credit the article3 ,who can tell why women are expected1 on pain of censure and avoidance1 to conform to a high standard of behavior1 while men are indulged in another a great deal lower8 ,we never could fully understand why men should be tolerated in the chewing of tobacco1 in smoking and in spitting everywhere almost1 and at all times1 whereas a woman can not do any of these things without exciting aversion and disgust4 ,why ought a man to be allowedly so self-indulgent1 putting his limbs and person in all manner of attitudes1 however uncouth and distasteful1 merely because such vulgarities yield him temporary eases1 while a woman is always required to preserve an attitude1 if not of positive grace1 at least of decency and propriety1 from which if she departs1 though but for an instant1 she forfeits respect1 and is instantly branded as a low creature6 ,can any one say why a man when he has the tooth-ache1 or is called to suffer in any other way1 should be permitted1 as a matter of course1 to groan and bellow1 and vent his feelings very much in the style of an animal not endowed with reason1 while a woman similarly suffering must bear it in silence and decorum8 ,why1 should men1 as a class1 habitually1 and as a matter of right1 boldly wear the coarsest qualities of human nature on the outside1 and swear and fight1 and beastify themselves1 so that they are obliged to be put into separate pens in the cars on railroads1 and at the depots1 while woman must appear with an agreeable countenance1 if not in smiles1 even when the head1 or perhaps the heart1 aches1 and are expected to permit nothing ill-tempered1 disagreeable1 or even unhappy to appear outwardly1 but to keep all these concealed in their own bosoms to suffer as they may1 lest they might otherwise lessen the cheerfulness of others8 ,these are a few suggestions only among many we would hint to the stronger and more exciting sex to be reflected on for the improvement of their tastes and manners4 ,in the mirror thus held up before them1 they can not avoid observing the very different standards by which the behavior of the two sexes is constantly regulated4 ,if any reason can be assigned why one should always be a lady1 and the other hardly ever a gentleman1 we hope it will be done4 ,,vi4--,,washington',s ,,code ,,of ,,manners4 ,every action ought to be with some sign of respect to those present4 ,be no flatterer2 neither play with any one who delights not to be played with4 ,read no paper or book in company4 ,come not near the papers or books of another when he is writing4 ,let your countenance be cheerful2 but in serious matters be grave4 ,let your discourse with others1 on matters of business1 be short4 ,it is good manners to let others speak first4 ,when a man does all he can1 do not blame him1 though he succeeds not well4 ,take admonitions thankfully4 ,be not too hasty to receive lying reports to the injury of another4 ,let your dress be modest1 and consult your condition4 ,play not the peacock by looking vainly at yourself4 ,it is better to be alone than in bad company4 ,let your conversation be without malice or envy4 ,urge not your friend to discover a secret4 ,break not a jest where none take pleasure in mirth4 ,gaze not on the blemishes of others4 ,when another speaks1 be attentive4 ,,vii4--,,marked ,,passages4 ,on turning over the leaves of the various works on etiquette which we have had occasion to consult in the preparation of this little manual1 we have marked with our pencil a large number of passages which seemed to us to embody important facts or thoughts1 with the hope of being able to weave them into our work1 each in its appropriate place4 ,some of them we have made use of according to our original intention2 a few others not elsewhere used1 we purpose to throw together here without any attempt at classification4 #a4 ,our ,social ,uniform4 ,the universal partiality of our countrymen for black1 as the color of dress clothes1 at least1 is frequently remarked upon by foreigners4 ,among the best dressed men on the ,continent1 as well as in ,england1 black1 through not confined to the clergy1 is in much less general use than here4 ,they adopt the darker shades of blue1 brown1 and green1 and for undress almost as great diversity of colors as of fabrics4 #b4 ,a ,hint to the ,ladies4 ,don't make your rooms gloomy4 ,furnish them for light and let them have it4 ,daylight is very cheap1 and candle or gas light you need not use often4 ,if your rooms are dark1 all the effect of furniture1 pictures1 walls1 and carpets is lost4 ,finally1 if you have beautiful things1 make them useful4 ,the fashion of having a nice parlor1 and then shutting it up all but three or four days in the year1 when you have company2 spending your own life in a mean room1 shabbily furnished1 or an unhealthy basement1 to save your things1 is the meanest possible economy4 ,go a little further--shut up your house1 and live in a pig-pen6 ,the use of nice and beautiful things is to act upon your spirit--to educate you and make you beautiful4 #c4 ,another4 ,don't put your cards around the looking-glass1 unless in your private boudoir4 ,if you wish to display them1 keep them in a suitable basket or vase on the mantle or center-table4 #d4 ,an ,obliging ,disposition4 ,polite persons are necessarily obliging4 ,a smile is always on their lips1 an earnestness in their countenance1 when we ask a favor of them4 ,they know that to render a service with a bad grace1 is in reality not to render it at all4 ,if they are obliged to refuse a favor1 they do it with mildness and delicacy2 they express such feeling regret that they still inspire us with gratitude2 in short1 their conduct appears so perfectly natural that it really seems that the opportunity which is offered them of obliging us1 is obliging themselves2 and they refuse all our thanks1 without affectation or effort4 #e4 ,securing a ,home4 ,let me1 as a somewhat scrutinizing observer of the varying phases of social life1 in our own country especially1 enter my earnest protest against the practice so commonly adopted by newly-married persons1 of boarding1 in place of at once establishing for themselves the distinctive and ennobling prerogatives of ,,home4 ,language and time would alike fail me in an endeavor to set forth the manifold evils inevitably growing out of this fashionable system4 ,take the advice of an old man1 who has tested theories by prolonged experience1 and at once establish your ,,penates within four walls1 and under a roof that will1 at times1 exclude all who are not properly denizens of your household1 upon assuming the rights and obligations of married life4 ,do not be deterred from this step by the conviction that you can not shrine your home deities upon pedestals of marble4 ,cover their bases with flowers--,god's free gift to all--and the plainest support will suffice for them if it be but firm4 #f4 ,taste vs4 ,fashion4 ,a lady should never1 on account of economy1 wear either what she deems an ugly or an ungraceful garment2 such garments never put her at her ease1 and are neglected and cast aside long before they have done her their true service4 ,we are careful only of those things which suit us1 and which we believe adorn us1 and the mere fact of believing that we look well1 goes a great way toward making us do so4 ,fashion should be sacrificed to taste1 or1 at best1 followed at a distance2 it does not do to be entirely out1 nor completely in1 what is called fashion1 many things being embraced under that term which are frivolous1 unmeaning1 and sometimes meretricious4 #g4 ,special ,claims4 ,there are persons to whom a lady or gentleman should be especially polite4 ,all elderly persons1 the unattractive1 the poor1 and those whose dependent positions may cause them to fear neglect4 ,the gentleman who offers his arm or gives his time to an old lady1 or asks a very plain one to dance1 or attends one who is poorly dressed1 never looses in others' estimation or his own4 #h4 ,propriety of ,deportment4 ,propriety of deportment is the valuable result of a knowledge of one's self1 and of respect for the rights of others2 it is a feeling of the sacrifices which are imposed on self-esteem by our social relations2 it is1 in short1 a sacred requirement of harmony and affection4 #i4 ,false ,pride4 ,false pride and false dignity are very mean qualities4 ,a true gentleman will do anything proper for him to do4 ,he can soil his hands or use his muscles when there is occasion4 ,the truest gentleman is more likely to carry home a market-basket1 or a parcel1 or to wheel a barrow through ,broadway1 than many a conceited little snob of a shop-boy4 #aj4 ,the ,awkwardness of being ,dressed4 ,when dressed for company1 strive to appear as easy and natural as if you were in undress4 ,nothing is more distressing to a sensitive person1 or more ridiculous to one gifted with an esprit moquer a disposition to make fun1 than to see a lady laboring under the consciousness of a fine gown2 or a gentleman who is stiff1 awkward1 and ungainly in a brand-new coat4 ,,footnote3 ,r ,life ,illustrated4 ,,xii4 ,,maxims ,,from ,,chesterfield4 ,the pages of the ,noble ,oracle are replete with sound advice1 which all may receive with profit4 ,genuine politeness is the same always and everywhere4--,madame ,bienceance4 #a4 ,cheerfulness and ,good ,humor4 ,it is a wonderful thing that so many persons1 putting in claims to good breeding1 should think of carrying their spleen into company1 and entertaining those with whom they converse with a history of their pains1 head-aches1 and ill-treatment4 ,this is1 of all others1 the meanest help to social happiness2 and a man must have a very mean opinion of himself1 who1 on having detailed his grievances1 is accosted by asking the news4 ,mutual good-humor is a dress in which we ought to appear1 whenever we meet2 and we ought to make no mention of ourselves1 unless it be in matters wherein our friends ought to rejoice4 ,there is no real life but cheerful life2 therefore valetudinarians should be sworn before they enter into company not to say a word of themselves until the meeting breaks up4 #b4 ,the ,art of ,pleasing4 ,the art of pleasing is a very necessary one to possess1 but a very difficult one to acquire4 ,it can hardly be reduced to rules2 and your own good sense and observation will teach you more of it than ,i can4 ,do as you would be done by1 is the surest method that ,i know of pleasing4 ,observe carefully what pleases you in others1 and probably the same things in you will please others4 ,if you are pleased with the complaisance and attention of others to you1 depend upon it the same complaisance and attention1 on your part1 will equally please them4 ,take the tone of the company you are in1 and do not pretend to give it2 be serious or gay1 as you find the present humor of the company4 ,this is an attention due from every individual to the majority4 #c4 ,adaptation of ,manners4 ,ceremony resembles that base coin which circulates through a country by the royal mandate4 ,it serves every purpose of real money at home1 but is entirely useless if carried abroad4 ,a person who should attempt to circulate his native trash in another country would be thought either ridiculous or culpable4 ,he is truly well-bred who knows when to value and when to despise those national peculiarities which are regarded by some with so much observance4 ,a traveler of taste at once perceives that the wise are polite all the world over1 but that fools are polite only at home4 #d4 ,bad ,habits4 ,keep yourself free from strange tricks or habits1 such as thrusting on your tongue1 continually snapping your fingers1 rubbing your hands1 sighing aloud1 gaping with a noise like a country fellow that has been sleeping in a hay-loft1 or indeed with any noise2 and many others that ,i have noticed before4 ,these are imitations of the manners of the mob1 and are degrading to a gentleman4 ,it is rude and vulgar to lean your head back and destroy the appearance of fine papered walls4 #e4 ,do what ,you are ,about4 ,hoc age was a maxim among the ,romans1 which means1 ,do what you are about1 and do that only4 ,a little mind is hurried by twenty things at once2 but a man of sense does but one thing at a time1 and resolves to excel in it2 for whatever is worth doing at all1 is worth doing well4 ,therefore1 remember to give yourself up entirely to the thing you are doing1 be it what it may1 whether your book or your play2 for if you have a right ambition1 you will desire to excel all boys of your age1 at cricket1 at trap-ball1 as well as in learning4 #f4 ,people who never ,learn4 ,there have been people who have frequented the first companies all their lifetime1 and yet have never divested themselves of their natural stiffness and awkwardness2 but have continued as vulgar as if they were never out of a servants' hall4 ,this has been owing to carelessness1 and a want of attention to the manners and behavior of others4 #g4 ,conformity to ,local ,manners4 ,civility1 which is a disposition to accommodate and oblige others1 is essentially the same in every country2 but good-breeding1 as it is called1 which is the manner of exerting that disposition1 is different in almost every country1 and merely local2 and every man of sense imitates and conforms to that local good-breeding or the place which he is at4 #h4 ,how to ,confer ,favors4 ,the greatest favors may be done so awkwardly and bunglingly as to offend2 and disagreeable things may be done so agreeably as almost to oblige4 ,endeavor to acquire this great secret4 ,it exists1 it is to be found1 and is worth a great deal more than the grand secret of the alchymists would be1 if it were1 as it is not1 to be found4 #i4 ,fitness4 ,one of the most important points of life is decency1 which means doing what is proper1 and where it is proper2 for many things are proper at one time1 and in one place1 that are extremely improper in another4 ,read men1 therefore1 yourself1 not in books1 but in nature4 ,adopt no systems1 but study them yourself4 #aj4 ,how to ,refuse4 ,a polite manner of refusing to comply with the solicitations of a company is also very necessary to be learned2 for a young man who seems to have no will of his own1 but does everything that is asked of him1 may be a very good-natured1 but he is a very silly1 fellow4 #aa4 ,civility to ,women4 ,civility is particularly due to all women2 and remember that no provocation whatsoever can justify any man in not being civil to every woman2 and the greatest man in the world would be justly reckoned a brute1 if he were not civil to the meanest woman4 #ab4 ,spirit4 ,spirit is now a very fashionable word4 ,to act with spirit1 to speak with spirit1 means only to act rashly1 and to talk indiscreetly4 ,an able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions2 he is neither hot nor timid4 ,,xiii4 ,,illustrative ,,anecdotes4 ,it is well to combine amusement with instruction1 whether you write for young or old4--,anonymous4 ,i4--,,elder ,,blunt ,,and ,,sister ,,scrub4 ,the house of the excellent ,squire ,scrub was the itinerant's home2 and a right sweet1 pleasant home it would have been but for a certain unfortunate weakness of the every other way excellent ,sister ,scrub4 ,the weakness ,i allude to was1 or at least it was suspected to be1 the love of praise4 ,now the good sister was really worthy of high praise1 and she often received it2 but she had a way of disparaging herself and her performances which some people thought was intended to invite praise4 ,no housewife kept her floors looking so clean and her walls so well whitewashed as she4 ,every board was scrubbed and scoured till further scrubbing and scouring would have been labor wasted4 ,no one could look on her white ash floor and not admire the polish her industry gave it4 ,the ,squire was a good provider1 and ,sister ,scrub was an excellent cook2 and so their table groaned under a burden of good things on all occasions when good cheer was demanded4 ,and yet you could never enter the house and sit half an hour without being reminded that ,husband held ,court yesterday1 and she couldn't keep the house decent4 ,if you sat down to eat with them1 she was sorry she hadn't anything fit to eat4 ,she had been scrubbing1 or washing1 or ironing1 or she had been half sick1 and she hadn't got such and such things that she ought to have4 ,nor did it matter how bountiful or how well prepared the repast really was1 there was always something deficient1 the want of which furnished a text for a disparaging discourse on the occasion4 ,i remember once that we sat down to a table that a king might have been happy to enjoy4 ,there was the light snow-white bread2 there were the potatoes reeking in butter2 there were chickens swimming in gravy2 there were the onions and the turnips1 and ,i was sure ,sister ,scrub had gratified her ambition for once4 ,we sat down1 and a blessing was asked2 instantly the good sister began2 she was afraid her coffee was too much burned1 or that the water had been smoked1 or that she hadn't roasted the chicken enough4 ,there ought to have been some salad1 and it was too bad that there was nothing nice to offer us4 ,we1 of course1 endured those unjustifiable apologies as well as the could1 simply remarking that everything was really nice1 and proving by our acts that the repast was tempting to our appetites4 ,i will now introduce another actor to the reader--,elder ,blunt1 the circuit preacher4 ,elder ,blunt was a good man4 ,his religion was of the most genuine1 experimental kind4 ,he was a very plain man4 ,he1 like ,mr4 ,wesley1 would no more dare to preach a fine sermon than wear a fine coat4 ,he was celebrated for his common-sense way of exhibiting the principles of religion4 ,he would speak just what he thought1 and as he felt4 ,he somehow got the name of being an eccentric preacher1 as every man1 ,i believe1 does who never prevaricates1 and always acts and speaks as he thinks4 ,somehow or other1 ,elder ,blunt had heard of ,sister ,scrub1 and that infirmity of hers1 and he resolved to cure her4 ,on his first round he stopped at ,squire ,scrub's1 as all other itinerants had done before him4 ,john1 the young man1 took the elder's horse and put him in the stable1 and the preacher entered the house4 ,he was shown into the best room1 and soon felt very much at home4 ,he expected to hear something in due time disparaging the domestic arrangements1 but he heard it sooner than he expected4 ,this time1 if ,sister ,scrub could be credited1 her house was all upside down2 it wasn't fit to stay in1 and she was sadly mortified to be caught in such a plight4 ,the elder looked all around the room1 as if to observe the terrible disorder1 but he said not a word4 ,by-and-by the dinner was ready1 and the elder sat down with the family to a well spread table4 ,here1 again1 ,sister ,scrub found everything faulty2 the coffee wasn't fit to drink1 and she hadn't anything fit to eat4 ,the elder lifted his dark eye to her face2 for a moment he seemed to penetrate her very soul with his austere gaze2 then slowly rising from the table1 he said1 ,brother ,scrub1 ,i want my horse immediately2 ,i must leave6 ,why1 ,brother ,blunt1 what is the matter8 ,matter8 ,why1 sir1 your house isn't fit to stay in1 and you haven't anything fit to eat or drink1 and ,i won't stay4 ,both the ,squire and his lady were confounded4 ,this was a piece of eccentricity entirely unlooked for4 ,they were stupefied4 ,but the elder was gone4 ,he wouldn't stay in a house not fit to stay in1 and where there wasn't anything fit to eat and drink4 ,poor ,sister ,scrub6 ,she wept like a child at her folly4 ,she knew it would be all over town1 she said1 and everybody would be laughing at her4 ,and then1 how should she meet the blunt1 honest elder again8 ,she hadn't meant anything by what she had said4 ,ah6 she never thought how wicked it was to say so much that didn't mean anything4 ,the upshot of the whole matter was1 that ,sister ,scrub saw herself as others saw her4 ,she ceased making apologies1 and became a wiser and better ,christian4 ,elder ,blunt always puts up there1 always finds everything as it should be1 and1 with all his eccentricities1 is thought by the family the most agreeable1 as he is acknowledged by everybody to be the most consistent1 of men4--,rev4 ,j4 ,v4 ,watson4 ,,ii4--,,the ,,presence4 ,mr4 ,johnson1 an ,english traveler1 relates1 in his notes on ,north ,america1 the following story3 ,at ,boston1 he says1 ,i was told of a gentleman in the neighborhood who1 having a farm servant1 found him very satisfactory in every respect1 except that he invariably came into his employer's room with his hat on4 ',john1' said he to the man one day1 'you always keep your hat on when you come into the room4' ',well1 sir1' said ,john1 'and haven't ,i a right to8' ',yes1' was his employer's reply1 ',i suppose you have4' ',well1' said ,john1 'if ,i have a right to1 why shouldn't ,i8' ,this was a poser from one man to another1 where all have equal rights4 ,so1 after a moment's reflection the gentleman asked3 ',now1 ,john1 what will you take1 how much more wages will you ask1 to take off your hat whenever you come in8' ',well1 that requires consideration1 ,i guess1' said the man4 ',take the thing into consideration1 then1' rejoined the employer1 'and let me know to-morrow morning4' ,the morrow comes1 and ,john appears4 ',well1 ,john1 have you considered what additional wages you are to have for taking your hat off8' ',well1 sir1 ,i guess it's worth a dollar a month4' ',it's settled1 then1 ,john2 you shall have another dollar a month4' ,so the gentleman retained a good man1 while ,john's hat was always in his hand when he entered the house4 ,this story1 to one who knows ,new ,england1 is not altogether incredible4 ,toward the democratization of this country1 yet most incomplete1 it will perhaps be one day conceded that the ,south has contributed ideas1 and ,new ,england sentiment2 while the ,great ,west will have made a partial application of both to the conduct of life4 ,the ,yankees are the kindest and the acutest of our people1 and the most ungraceful4 ,nowhere in the world is there so much good feeling1 combined with so much rudeness of manner1 as in ,new ,england4 ,the ,south1 colonized by ,cavaliers1 retains much of the ,cavalier improvidence and careless elegance of manner2 and ,southerners1 like the soil they till1 are generous4 ,but the ,yankees1 descended from austere and ,puritanic farmers1 and accustomed to wring their subsistence from an unwilling soil1 possess the sterling virtues of human nature along with a stiff-jointed awkwardness of manner1 and a sharp angularity of thought1 which renders them unpleasing even to those who respect them most4 ,a ,yankee seldom ceases to be provincial4 ,but ,john is waiting1 hat in hand1 to hear what we have to say respecting his case4 ,we say that ,john was wrong in not taking off his hat voluntarily1 but that the feeling which prevented his doing so was right4 ,he was right in feeling that the accidental circumstance of his being a hired man gave his employer no claim to any special mark of respect from him2 and1 as he considered that the removal of his hat would have been a special mark of respect1 and thus an acknowledgment of social inferiority1 he declined to make that acknowledgment4 ,but ,john was mistaken4 ,the act referred to would not have borne such an interpretation4 ,john ought to have felt that on coming into the presence of a man1 a fellow-citizen and co-sovereign1 and particularly on entering his abode1 one of the innumerable royal residences of the country1 some visible sign of respect1 some kind of deferential salutation1 is due from the person entering4 ,john should have risen superior to the mere accident of his position1 and remembered only that he and his employer were men and equals4 ,the positions of the two men might be reversed in a day2 their equality as men and citizens1 nothing but crime could affect4--,james ,parton4 ,,iii4--,a ,,learned ,,man ,,at ,,table4 ,some of the many errors which are liable to be committed through ignorance of usage1 are pleasantly pointed out in the following story1 which is related by a ,french writer3 ,the ,abbe ,cosson1 professor in the ,college ,mazarin1 thoroughly accomplished in the art of teaching1 saturated with ,greek1 ,latin1 and literature1 considered himself a perfect well of science3 he had no conception that a man who knew all ,persius and ,horace by heart could possibly commit an error--above all1 an error at table4 ,but it was not long before he discovered his mistake4 ,one day1 after dining with the ,abbe de ,radonvilliers at ,versailles1 in company with several courtiers and marshals of ,france2 he was boasting of the rare acquaintance with etiquette and custom which he had exhibited at dinner4 ,the ,abbe ,delille1 who heard this eulogy upon his own conduct1 interrupted his harangue by offering to wager that he had committed at least a hundred improprieties at the table4 ,how is it possible8 exclaimed ,cosson4 ,i did exactly like the rest of the company4 ,what absurdity6 said the other4 ,you did a thousand things which no one else did4 ,first1 when you sat down at the table1 what did you do with your napkin8 ,my napkin6 why1 just what everybody else did with theirs4 ,i unfolded it entirely1 and fastened it to my button-hole4 ,well1 my dear friend1 said ,delille1 you were the only one that did that1 at all events4 ,no one hangs up his napkin in that style2 they are contented with placing it on their knees4 ,and what did you do when you took soup8 ,like the others1 ,i believe4 ,i took any spoon in one hand and my fork in the other-- ,your fork6 ,who ever ate soup with a fork8 ,but to proceed3 after your soup1 what did you eat8 ,a fresh egg4 ,and what did you do with the shell8 ,handed it to the servant who stood behind my chair4 ,without breaking it1 of course8 ,well1 my dear ,abbe1 nobody ever eats an egg without breaking the shell4 ,and after your egg--8 ,i asked the ,abbe ,radonvilliers to send me a piece of the hen near him4 ,bless my soul6 a piece of the hen6 ,you never speak of hens excepting in the barn-yard4 ,you should have asked for fowl1 or chicken4 ,but you say nothing of your mode of drinking4 ,like all the rest1 ,i asked for claret and champagne4 ,let me inform you1 then1 that persons always ask for claret wine and champagne wine4 ,but tell me1 how did you eat your bread8 ,surely ,i did that properly4 ,i cut it with my knife in the most regular manner possible4 ,bread should always be broken1 not cut4 ,but the coffee1 how did you manage it8 ,it was rather too hot1 and ,i poured a little of it into my saucer4 ,well1 you committed here the greatest fault of all4 ,you should never pour your coffee into the saucer1 but always drink it from the cup4 ,the poor ,abbe was confounded4 ,he felt that though one might be master of the seven sciences1 yet that there was another species of knowledge which1 if less dignified1 was equally important4 ,this occurred many years ago1 but there is not one of the observances neglected by the ,abbe ,cosson which is not enforced with equal rigidness in the present day4 ,,iv4--,,english ,,women ,,in ,,high ,,life4 ,lord ,hardwicke's family consists of his countess1 his eldest son 7about eighteen or twenty1 ,lord ,royston by courtesy71 three of the finest-looking daughters you ever saw1 and several younger sons4 ,the daughters--,lady ,elizabeth1 ,lady ,mary1 and ,lady ,agnita--are surpassingly beautiful2 such development--such rosy cheeks1 laughing eyes1 and unaffected manners--you rarely see combined4 ,they take a great deal of out-door exercise1 and came aboard the ,merrimac1 in a heavy rain1 with ,irish shoes thicker soled than you or ,i ever wore1 and cloaks and dresses almost impervious to wet4 ,they steer their father's yacht1 walk the ,lord knows how many miles1 and don't care a cent about rain1 besides doing a host of other things that would shock our ladies to death2 and yet in the parlor are the most elegant looking women1 in their satin shoes and diamonds1 ,i ever saw4444 ,after dinner the ladies play and sing for us1 and the other night they got up a game of blind-man's-buff2 in which the ladies said we had the advantage1 inasmuch as their petticoats rustled so that they were easily caught4 ,they call things by their names here4 ,in the course of the game1 ,lord ,hardwicke himself was blindfolded1 and1 trying to catch some one1 fell over his daughter's lap on the floor1 when two or three of the girls caught him by the legs and dragged his lordship--roaring with laughter1 as we all were--on his back into the middle of the floor4 ,yet they are perfectly respectful1 but appear on a perfect equality with each other4--,letter from an ,officer of the ,merrimac4 ,v4--,,vil ,,you ,,say ,,so1 ,,if ,,you ,,please8 ,speaking of not speaking1 said ,i1 when the general amusement had abated1 reminds me of an amusing little scene that ,i once witnessed in the public parlor of a ,new ,england tavern1 where ,i was compelled to wait several hours for a stage-coach4 ,presently there entered a bustling1 sprightly-looking little personage1 who1 after frisking about the room1 apparently upon a tom of inspection1 finally settled herself very comfortably in the large cushioned rocking-chair--the only one in the room--and was soon1 as ,i had no reason to doubt1 sound asleep4 ,it was not long1 however1 before a noise of some one entering aroused her1 and a tall1 gaunt1 old ,yankee woman1 hung around with countless bags1 bonnet-boxes1 and nondescript appendages of various sizes and kinds1 presented herself to our vision4 ,after slowly relieving herself of the numberless incumbrances that impeded her progress in life1 she turned to a young man who accompanied her1 and said1 in a tone so peculiarly shrill that it might have been mistaken1 at this day1 for a railroad whistle-- ',now1 ,jonathan1 don't let no grass grow under your feet while you go for them toothache drops2 ,i am a'most crazy with pain6' laying a hand upon the affected spot as she spoke2 'and here1' she called out1 as the door was closing upon her messenger1 'just get my box filled at the same time1' diving with her disengaged hand into the unknown depths of1 seemingly1 the most capacious of pockets1 and bringing to light a shining black box of sufficient size to hold all the jewels of a modern belle4 ',i thought ,i brought along my snuff-bladder1 but ,i don't know where ,i put it1 my head is so stirred up4' ,by this time the little woman in the rocking-chair was fairly aroused1 and rising1 she courteously offered her seat to the stranger1 her accent at once betraying her claim to be ranked with the politest of nations 7a bow1 on my part1 to the fair foreigner in the group74 ,with a prolonged stare1 the old woman coolly ensconced herself in the vacated seat1 making not the slightest acknowledgment of the civility she had received4 ,presently she began to groan1 rocking herself furiously at the same time4 ,the former occupant of the stuffed chair1 who had retired to a window and perched herself in one of a long row of wooden seats1 hurried to the sufferer4 ',i fear1 madame1' said she1 'that you suffare ver' much--vat can ,i do for you8' ,the representative of ,yankeedom might have been a wooden clock-case for all the response she made to this amiable inquiry1 unless her rocking more furiously than ever might be construed into a reply4 ,the little ,frenchwoman1 apparently wholly unable to class so anomalous a specimen of humanity1 cautiously retreated4 ,before ,i was summoned away1 the toothache drops and the snuff together 7both administered in large doses7 seemed to have gradually produced the effect of oil poured upon troubled waters4 ,the sprightly ,frenchwoman again ventured upon the theater of action4 ',you find yourself now much improved1 madame8' she asked1 with considerable vivacity4 ,a very slight nod was the only answer4 ',and you feel dis fauteuil really very com-for-ta-ble8' pursued the little woman1 with augmented energy of voice4 ,another nod was just discernible4 ,no intonation of mine can do justice to the very ecstasy of impatience with which the pertinacious questioner actually screamed out3 ',bien1 madame1 vil you say so1 if you please8' ,henry ,lunettes4 99 99 99 99 99 ,,the ,,indispensable ,,hand-,,book4 ,how to ,write----,how to ,talk----,how to ,behave1 and ,how to ,do ,business4 ,,complete ,,in ,,one ,,large ,,volume4 ,this new work--in four parts--embraces just that practical matter-of-fact information which every one--old and young--ought to have4 ,it will aid in attaining1 if it does not insure1 success in life4 ,it contains some #fjj pages1 elegantly bound1 and is divided into four parts1 as follows3 ,,how ,,to ,,write3 ,as a ,manual of ,letter-,writing and ,composition1 is far superior to the common ,letter-,writers4 ,it teaches the inexperienced how to write ,business ,letters1 ,family ,letters1 ,friendly ,letters1 ,love ,letters1 ,notes and ,cards1 and ,newspaper ,articles1 and how to ,correct ,proof for the ,press4 ,the newspapers have pronounced it ,indispensable4 ,,how ,,to ,,talk3 ,no other ,book contains so much ,useful ,instruction on the subject as this4 ,it teaches how to ,speak ,correctly1 ,clearly1 ,fluently1 ,forcibly1 ,eloquently1 and ,effectively1 in the ,shop1 in the ,drawing-room2 a ,chairman's ,guide1 to conduct ,debating ,societies and ,public ,meetings2 how to ,spell1 end how to ,pronounce all sorts of ,words2 with ,exercises for ,declamation4 ,the chapter on ,errors ,corrected is worth the price of the volume to every young man4 ,worth a dozen grammars4 ,,how ,,to ,,behave3 ,this is a ,manual of ,etiquette1 and it is believed to be the best ,,manners ,,book ever written4 ,if you desire to know what good manners require1 at ,home1 on the ,street1 at a ,party1 at ,church1 at ,table1 in ,conversation1 at ,places of ,amusement1 in ,traveling1 in the ,company of ,ladies1 in ,courtship1 this book will inform you4 ,it is a standard work on ,good ,behavior4 ,,how ,,to ,,do ,,business3 ,indispensable in the ,counting-room1 in the ,store1 in the ,shop1 on the ,,farm1 for the ,clerk1 the ,apprentice1 the ,book ,agent1 and for ,business ,men4 ,it teaches how to ,choose a ,pursuit1 and how to follow it with success4 ,it teaches how to get rich honestly1 and how to use your riches wisely4 ,how to ,write--,how to ,talk--,how to ,behave--,how to ,do ,business1 bound in one large handsome volume1 for #b ,,practical ,,outdoor ,,books4 ,,how ,,to ,,raise ,,fruits4--,a ,handbook of ,fruit ,culture4 ,being a ,guide to the ,proper ,cultivation and ,management of ,fruit ,trees1 and of ,grapes and ,small ,fruits1 with condensed descriptions of many of the best and most popular varieties1 with upwards of #ajj engravings4 ,by ,,thomas ,,gregg4 #a4jj ,a book which should be owned by every person who owns a rod of available land1 and it will serve to secure success where now there is nothing but failure4 ,it covers the ground fully1 without technicalities1 and is a work on ,fruit ,culture for the ,million4 ,it tells of the cost1 how to plant1 how to trim1 how to transplant1 location1 soil1 selection diseases1 insects1 borers1 blights1 cultivation1 how to prune1 manuring1 layering1 budding grafting1 etc41 including full description and management of ,orchard ,fruit1 such as ,apples1 ,peaches1 ,pears1 ,plums1 ,cherries1 ,quinces1 ,apricots1 ,nectarines1 etc4 ,it is a most ,complete ,guide to ,small-,fruit ,culture1 with many illustrations and descriptions of the latest varieties of ,grapes1 ,strawberries1 ,blackberries1 ,raspberries1 ,gooseberries1 ,currants1 etc4 ,,how ,,to ,,paint4--,a ,new ,work by a ,practical ,painter4 ,denoted for the use of ,farmers1 ,tradesmen1 ,mechanics1 ,merchants1 and as a ,guide to the ,professional ,painter4 ,containing a plain common-sense statement of the methods employed by painters to produce satisfactory results in ,plain and ,fancy ,painting of every description1 including ,gilding1 ,bronzing1 ,staining1 ,graining1 ,marbling1 ,varnishing1 ,polishing1 ,kalsomining1 ,paper-,hanging1 ,striping1 ,lettering1 ,copying1 and ,ornamenting1 with directions for mixing and applying all kinds of ,paints4 ,makes ,every ,man his ,own ,painter4 #a4jj4 ,,the ,,model ,,potato4--,an exposition of the proper cultivation of the ,potato2 the ,causes of its ,disease1 and the ,remedy2 its ,renewal1 ,preservation1 ,productiveness1 and ,cooking4 #ej cents4 ,,horses3 ,,their ,,feed ,,and ,,their ,,feet4--,a manual of horse hygiene1 invaluable for the veteran or the novice1 pointing out the causes of ,malaria1 ,glanders1 ,pink ,eye1 ,distemper1 etc41 and how to ,prevent and ,counteract them4 ,by ,c4 ,e4 ,,page1 ,m4,d41 with a ,treatise and ,notes on ,shoeing by ,sir ,george ,cox and ,col4 ,m4 ,c4 ,weld4 #aej pp4 #abmo1 paper1 #ej cents2 extra cloth1 #ge cents4 ,by mail1 post-paid1 on receipt of price4 ,address ,,fowler ,,wells ,,co41 ,publishers1 #gec ,broadway1 ,new ,york ,a ,,new ,,work4 ,,fresh1 ,,seasonable1 ,,advanced4 ,,brain ,,and ,,mind2 ,,or ,,mental ,,science ,,considered ,,in ,,accordance ,,with ,,the ,,principles ,,of ,,phrenology1 ,,and ,,in ,,relation ,,to ,,modern ,,physiology ,by ,,henry ,s4 ,,drayton1 ,a4,m41 and ,,james ,mc,n,e,i,l,l4 ,illustrated with over ,one ,hundred ,portraits and ,diagrams4 #abmo1 extra cloth ,price1 #a4fj4 ,this contribution to the science of mind has been made in response to the demand of the time for a work embodying the grand principles of ,phrenology1 as they are understood and applied to-day by the advanced exponents of mental philosophy4 ,the authors state in their ,preface3 ,in preparing this volume it has been the aim to meet an existing want1 viz4 ,that of a treatise which not only gives the reader a complete view of the system of mental science known as ,phrenology1 but also exhibits its relation to anatomy and physiology as those sciences are represented to-day by standard authority4 ,the work is divided into eighteen chapters1 which are entitled as follows3 ,,chapters4 ,i4 ,,general ,,principles4 ,,ii4 ,,of ,,the ,,temperaments4 ,,iii4 ,,structure ,,of ,,the ,,brain ,,and ,,skull4 ,,iv4 ,,classification ,,of ,,the ,,faculties4 ,v4 ,,the ,,physico-,,preservative1 ,,or ,,selfish ,,organs4 ,,vi4 ,,of ,,the ,,intellect4 ,,vii4 ,,the ,,semi-,,intellectual ,,faculties4 ,,viii4 ,,the ,,organs ,,of ,,the ,,social ,,functions4 ,,ix4 ,,the ,,selfish ,,sentiments4 ,x4 ,,the ,,moral ,,and ,,religious ,,sentiments4 ,,xi4 ,,how ,,to ,,examine ,,heads4 ,,xii4 ,,how ,,character ,,is ,,manifested4 ,,xiii4 ,,the ,,action ,,of ,,the ,,faculties4 ,,xiv4 ,,the ,,relation ,,of ,,phrenology ,,to ,,metaphysics ,,and ,,education4 ,,xv4 ,,value ,,of ,,phrenology ,,as ,,an ,,art4 ,,xvi4 ,,phrenology ,,and ,,physiology4 ,,xvii4 ,,objections ,,and ,,confirmations ,,by ,,the ,,physiologists4 ,,xviii4 ,,phrenology ,,in ,,general ,,literature4 ,in style and treatment it is adapted to the general reader1 and abounds with valuable instruction expressed in clear1 practical terms4 ,it is printed on fine paper1 and substantially bound in cloth1 and contains #cbe pages4 #abmo4 ,price #a4ej1 by mail post-paid4 ,address ,,fowler ,,wells ,,co41 #gec ,broadway1 ,n4 ,y4 ,,how ,,to ,,paint4 ,,every ,,man ,,his ,,own ,,painter4 ,how to ,paint4--,a complete ,compendium of the ,art4 ,designed for the use of ,tradesmen1 ,mechanics1 ,merchants1 ,farmers1 and a ,guide to the ,professional ,painter4 ,containing a plain ,common-sense statement of the ,methods employed by ,painters to produce satisfactory results in ,plain and ,fancy ,painting of every ,description1 including ,gilding1 ,bronzing1 ,staining1 ,graining1 ,marbling1 ,varnishing1 ,polishing1 ,kalsomining1 ,paper ,hanging1 ,striping1 ,lettering1 ,copying and ,ornamenting1 with ,formulas for ,mixing ,paint in ,oil or ,water4 ,description of ,pigments used2 their ,average ,cost1 ,tools required1 etc4 ,by ,f4 ,b4 ,,gardner1 author of the ,carriage ,painter's ,manual4 #abg pp4 ,cloth1 #a4jj4 ,this is just the work needed by every person who has anything to paint1 as will be seen from the following from the ,table of ,contents4 ,it is very complete1 and will make ,every ,man his ,own ,painter4 ,,chapter ,i4--,,painting--,tools used4 ,,chapter ,,ii4--,,brushes4 ,,chapter ,,iii4--,,dry ,,colors--,white ,lead2 ,fine ,white2 ,lamp ,black2 ,drop ,black2 ,ivory ,black2 ,prussian ,blue2 ,ultramarine ,green2 ,yellow2 ,vermilion2 ,brown2 ,lake2 ,carmine2 ,rose ,pink2 ,whiting2 ,glue2 ,pumice ,stone2 ,asphaltum4 ,,chapter ,,iv4--,,liquids--,spirits of ,turpentine2 ,oils2 ,varnishes2 ,furniture ,varnish2 ,average ,prices of ,varnish2 ,shellac ,varnish2 ,japan ,gold ,size2 ,brown ,japan ,size2 ,fat ,oil ,size2 ,quick ,size2 ,asphaltum ,size2 ,honey ,size2 ,size for ,glass4 ,,chapter ,v4--,,colors ,,in ,,oil--,tube ,colors2 ,compound ,colors4 ,,chapter ,,vi4--,mixing ,paint2 ,white ,paint2 ,white for ,inside ,work2 ,china ,glass2 ,oil ,color for ,outside ,work2 ,dead1 or ,flat ,color2 ,colors ,ground in ,oil4 ,,putty--,common ,window ,putty2 ,carriage ,painters' ,putty2 ,cementing ,putty2 ,furniture ,putty2 ,hardwood ,putty2 ,putty for ,plaster ,work4 ,,chapter ,,vii4--,,milk ,,paint--,distemper ,painting2 ,kalsomine2 ,preparing ,kalsomine2 ,paint for ,out-,buildings2 ,paint for ,iron ,railing2 ,white wash2 ,size for ,walls2 ,paste for ,paper hanging2 ,hanging ,paper4 ,,chapter ,,viii4--,graining2 ,oak in ,distemper2 ,oak in ,oil2 ,maple2 ,mahogany2 ,rosewood2 ,black ,walnut2 ,staining2 ,granite2 ,brown ,stone2 ,portland ,stone2 ,smalting2 ,flockings2 ,marbling4 ,,chapter ,,ix4--,,gilding--,gold ,leaf2 ,silver ,leaf2 ,dutch ,metal2 ,gilding on ,glass2 ,bronzing2 ,stenciling2 ,transferring2 ,decalcomanie2 ,transparent ,painting2 ,pearl ,inlaying2 ,making a ,rustic ,picture2 ,painting ,flower ,stand2 ,polish for ,mahogany2 ,varnishing ,furniture2 ,waxing ,furniture2 ,cleaning ,paint2 ,paint for ,farming ,tools2 ,paint for ,machinery2 ,paint for ,household ,goods2 ,paint for ,iron2 ,to ,imitate ,ground ,glass2 ,pumicing ,ornaments2 ,painting to ,imitate ,damask2 ,to ,paint a ,farm ,wagon2 ,to ,re-,varnish a ,carriage2 ,to ,duplicate ,plaster ,casts2 ,putty ,work2 ,permanent ,wood ,filling for ,house ,work4 ,it is neatly ,printed1 with illustrations showing everything that can be illustrated in connection with the subject4 ,published in uniform style with the ,carriage ,painter's ,manual1 at the same price4 #a4jj1 by mail1 past-paid1 to any address by ,b4 ,r4 ,,wells ,,co41 ,publishers1 #gcg ,broadway1 ,n4 ,y4 ,,the ,,emphatic ,,diaglott1 ,containing the ,original ,greek ,text of ,,the ,,new ,,testament with an interlineary word-for-word ,english ,translation2 a new ,emphatic ,version based on the ,interlineary ,translation1 on the ,readings of ,eminent ,critics1 and on the various ,readings of the ,vatican ,manuscript 7,no #a1bji in the ,vatican ,library72 together with illustrative and ,explanatory ,foot ,notes1 and a copious ,selection of ,references2 to the whole of which is added a valuable ,alphabetical ,index4 ,by ,,benjamin ,,wilson4 ,one ,vol41 #abmo1 #hhd pp4 ,price1 extra cloth1 #d2 ,lib4 binding1 #e4 ,we have here a ,greek ,text acknowledged to be one of the best1 which ,greek scholars will find of importance1 while the unlearned have an almost equal chance with those who are acquainted with the original1 by having an interlinear1 literal1 word-for-word ,english translation4 ,on the right hand of each page there is a column containing a special rendering of the translation1 including the labors of many talented critics and translators1 and in this column the emphatic signs are noted by which the ,greek words of emphasis are designated1 which the common and are new version of the ,new ,testament fail to give4 ,the adopting of the ensigns of emphasis give a certainty and intensity to the passages where they occur which can not be had without them4 ,in addition to this there are numerous footnotes and references1 making it on the whole one of the most valuable aids to ,bible study yet published4 ,,opinions ,,of ,,the ,,clergy4 ,the following extracts from a letters received by the publishers will go far to show in what the light the ,emphatic ,diaglott is regarded by the clergy3 ,from ,j4 ,r4 ,,graves1 ,,ll4,d41 ,editor of ,tenn4 ,baptist4--,there are many of our ministers who have mastered the usual amount of ,greek required to complete their course at school but have found little time since entering upon their ministerial labors to keep it up1 and rust has so gathered upon their ,greek that it has become a labor to work it out without ,grammar and ,lexicon4 ,to all such and even to those who have accomplished but little in the language1 this ,,interlineary translation will prove an invaluable help4 ,the ,,critical ,,foot-,,notes and ,dictionary of ,terms at the close are fully worth the price of the work itself4 ,i can cordially commend it to every minister and ,bible student as a rigidly faithful translation of the ,new ,testament1 and for several reasons the most valuable one that has yet been made4 ,from ,,thomas ,,armitage1 ,d4,d41 ,pastor of the ,fifth ,ave4 ,baptist ,church4--,,gentlemen3 ,i have examined with much care and great interest the specimen sheets sent me of 'the ,emphatic ,diaglott4' 444 ,i believe that the book furnishes evidences of the purposed faithfulness1 more than usual scholarship1 and remarkable literary industry4 ,it can not fail to be an important help to those who wish to become better acquainted with the revealed will of ,god4 ,for these reasons ,i wish the enterprise of publishing the work a great success4 ,from the ,rev4 ,,james ,l4 ,,hodge1 ,pastor of the ,first ,mariners' ,baptist ,church1 ,n4 ,y4--,i have examined these sheets which you design to be a specimen of the work1 and have to confess myself much pleased with the arrangement and ability of ,mr4 ,wilson4444 ,i can most cordially thank ,mr4 ,wilson for his noble work1 and you1 gentlemen1 for your ,christian enterprise in bringing the work before the public4 ,i believe the work will do good1 and aid the better understanding of the ,new ,testament4 ,from ,prof4 ,h4 ,,mattison1 ,pastor of ,trinity ,meth4 ,church1 ,jersey ,city1 ,n4 ,j4--444 ,the plan of the work is admirable1 and the presence of the ,greek text and interlinear version gives every scholar a fair chance to test the version for himself1 verse by verse and word for word4 ,i can not but believe that the work will be valuable acquisition to the ,biblical literature of the country4 ,from ,a4 ,a4 ,,livermore1 ,d4,d41 ,president of the ,theological ,sem41 ,meadville1 ,pa4--444 ,i welcome all efforts intelligently made to popularize the results of criticism1 and wish that this little volume might be possessed by every clergyman and student of the ,scriptures in the country4 ,from ,rev4 ,c4 ,,larew1 ,pastor of the ,halsey ,st4 ,meth4 ,church1 ,newark1 ,n4 ,j4--',the ,diaglott' has given me great pleasure4 ,the arrangement is a most excellent one1 and the new version can not fail to be of gratification and profit1 especially to those unacquainted with the original ,greek4 ,the translator has certainly shown great genius in seizing upon the thought of the original and a happy tact on presenting it4 ,from ,rev4 ,g4 ,f4 ,,warren1 ,pastor of the ,worthen ,st4 ,church1 ,lowell1 ,mass4--444 ,am highly gratified with the thorough manner in which he 7the author7 has done his work4 ,if ,i mistake not this translation will receive a cordial welcome from the ,christian public4 ,it is just what every ,christian needs4 ,i congratulate myself and others that such a valuable auxiliary to the study of the ,word of ,god is placed in our hands4 ,we give sample pages of the work that every one may form a correct idea of the plan of publication4 ,sent by mail1 post-paid1 on receipt of price4 ,address all orders to ,,fowler ,,wells ,,co4 ,publishers1 #gec ,,broadway1 ,,new ,,york4 ,,good ,,health ,,books4 ,,health ,,in ,,the ,,household1 ,or1 ,hygienic ,cookery4 ,by ,susanna ,w4 ,dodds1 ,m4,d4 ,one large #abmo volume1 #fjj pages1 extra cloth or oil-cloth binding1 price #b4jj4 ,undoubtedly the very best work on the preparation of food in a healthful manner ever published1 and one that should be in the hands of all who would furnish their tables with food that is wholesome and at the same time palatable1 and will contribute much toward ,health in the ,household4 ,,the ,,natural ,,cure ,of ,consumption1 ,constipation1 ,bright's ,disease1 ,neuralgia1 ,rheumatism1 ,colds 7,fevers71 ,etc4 ,how ,sickness ,originates and ,how to ,prevent it4 ,a ,health ,manual for the ,people4 ,by ,c4 ,e4 ,page4 #a vol4 #abmo4 #bgh pp41 ex4 cloth1 #a4jj4 ,a new work with new ideas1 both radical and reasonable1 appealing to the common-sense of the reader4 ,this is not a new work with old thoughts simply restated1 but the most original ,health ,manual published in many years4 ,it is written in the author's clear1 attractive manner1 and should be in the hands of all who would either retain or regain their health1 and keep from the hands of the doctors4 ,,how ,,to ,,feed ,,the ,,baby1 ,to ,make ,her ,healthy and ,happy4 ,with ,health ,hints4 ,by ,c4 ,e4 ,page1 ,m4,d4 ,fourth ,edition1 ,revised and ,enlarged4 #abmo1 paper1 #ej cents2 extra cloth1 #ge cts4 ,dr4 ,page has devoted much attention to the subject1 both in this country and in ,europe1 noting the condition of children1 and then making careful inquiries as to the feeding1 care1 etc41 and this work is a special record of experience with his own child4 ,in addition to answering the question what to feed the baby1 this volume tells how to feed the baby1 which is of equal importance4 ,there are many who are now following the author's teaching with good results4 ,,how ,,to ,,be ,,well2 ,or1 ,common-,sense ,medical ,hygiene4 ,a book for the people1 giving directions for the treatment and cure of acute diseases without the use of drug medicines1 also general hints on health4 ,by ,m4 ,augusta ,fairchild1 ,m4,d4 #abmo1 cloth1 #a4jj4 ,we have here a new work on ,hygiene containing the results of the author's experience for many years in the treatment of acute and chronic diseases with ,hygienic agencies1 and it will save an incalculable amount of pain and suffering1 as well as doctors' bills1 in every family where its simple directions are followed4 ,,digestion and ,,dyspepsia4 ,a ,complete ,explanation of the ,digestive ,processes1 with the ,symptoms and ,treatment of ,dyspepsia and other ,disorders of the ,digestive ,organs4 ,illustrated4 ,by ,r4 ,t4 ,trall1 ,m4,d4 #a4jj4 ,the latest and best work on the subject4 ,with fifty illustrations2 showing with all possible fullness every process of digestion1 and giving all the causes1 and directions for treatment of ,dyspepsia4 ,the author gives the summary of the data which he collected during an extensive practice of more than twenty-five years1 largely with patients who were suffering from diseases caused by ,dyspepsia and an impaired ,digestion4 ,,the ,,mother',s ,,hygienic ,,handbook1 for the ,normal ,development and ,training of ,women and ,children1 and the ,treatment of their diseases with ,hygienic agencies4 ,by the same author4 #a4jj4 ,the great experience and ability of the author enabled him to give just that advice which mothers need so often all through their lives4 ,it covers the whole ground1 and1 if it be carefully read1 will go far towards giving us an ,,enlightened ,,motherhood4 ,the work should be read by every wife and every woman who contemplates marriage4 ,mothers may place it in the hands of their daughters with words of commendation1 and feel assured they will be the better prepared for the responsibilities and duties of married life and motherhood4 ,sent by mail1 post-paid1 to any address on receipt of price4 ,agents wanted4 ,address ,,fowler ,,wells ,,co41 ,publishers4 #gec ,broadway1 ,new ,york4 ,,the ,,works ,,of ,,nelson ,,sizer4 ,a ,great ,book for ,young ,people ,,choice ,,of ,,pursuits2 or1 ,what to ,do and ,why1 describing ,seventy-five ,trades and ,professions1 and the ,temperaments and ,talents required for each2 with ,portraits and ,biographies of many successful ,thinkers and ,workers ,by ,,nelson ,,sizer1 ,associate ,editor of the ,,phrenological ,,journal1 ,vice ,president of1 and ,teacher in1 the ,american ,institute of ,phrenology1 etc4 #abmo1 extra cloth4 #ejh pp4 ,price1 #a4ge4 ,this work fills a place attempted by no other4 ,whoever has to earn a living by labor of head or hand1 can not afford to do without it4 ,,notices ,,of ,,the ,,press4 ',,choice ,,of ,,pursuits2 or1 ,what to do and ,why' is a remarkable book4 ,the author has attained a deserved eminence as a delineator of character4 ,we have given it a careful reading and feel warranted in saying that it is a book calculated to do a vast deal of good4--,boston ,commonwealth4 ,the title in startling1 but it is indicative of the contents of the book itself2 the work is a desideratum4--,inter-,ocean 7,chicago47 ,it presents many judicious counsels4 ,the main purpose of the writer is to prevent mistakes in the choice of a profession4 ,his remarks on the different trades are often highly original4 ,the tendency of this volume is to increase the reader's respect for human nature4--,new ,york ,tribune4 ,the design of this book is to indicate to every man his proper work and to educate him for it--,albany ,evening ,journal4 ,a ,new ,book for ,parents and ,teachers4 ,,how ,,to ,,teach ,,according ,,to ,,temperament ,,and ,,mental ,,development1 or1 ,phrenology in the ,school-room and the ,family4 ,with many ,illustrations4 #abmo1 extra cloth1 #cea pages4 ,price1 #a4ej4 ,one of the greatest difficulties in the training of children arises from not understanding their temperament and disposition4 ,this work points out clearly the constitutious differences1 and how to make the most of each4 ,,notices ,,of ,,the ,,press4 ,the purpose of this work is to aid parents and teachers to understand the talents1 dispositions1 and temperaments of those under their guidance4 ,this opens a new field to the consideration of the teacher4 ,the text is attractive and a valuable contribution to educational literature4 ,it should be in the library of every parent and teacher4--,new ,england ,journal of ,education4 ,this is an entirely new feature in a book intended for the use of teachers1 and must prove of great advantage to them4 ,the text is written in a manner which must attract every reader4--,the ,methodist4 ,no teacher should neglect to read this well-written contribution to the cause of education4--,christian ,instructor4 ,it abounds in valuable suggestions and counsels derived from many years experience1 which can not fail to be of service to all who are engaged in the business of education4 ,the subject is treated in a plain1 familiar manner1 and adapted to reading in the family as well as in the study of the teacher4--,new ,york ,tribune4 ,there is a great deal of good sense in the work and all teachers will be glad to welcome it4--,the ,commonwealth1 ,boston4 ,a ,,new ,,book ,,for ,,everybody6 ,,forty ,,years ,,in ,,phrenology3 ,embracing ,recollections of ,history1 ,anecdote1 and ,experience4 #abmo1 extra cloth1 #dac pages4 ,price1 #a4ej4 ,in this work we have a most interesting record of the author's recollections and experiences during more than forty years as a ,practical ,phrenologist4 ,the volume is filled with history1 anecdotes1 and incidents1 pathetic1 witty1 droll1 and startling4 ,every page sparkles with reality1 and is packed with facts too good to be lost4 ,this book will be warmly welcomed by every reader1 from the boy of twelve to the sage of eighty years4 ,,thoughts ,,on ,,domestic ,,life2 or1 ,marriage ,vindicated and ,,free ,,love ,,exposed4 #abmo4 ,paper1 #be cents4 ,this work contains a sharp analysis of the social nature1 in some respects quite original4 ,sent by mail1 post-paid1 to any address4 ,agents wanted4 ,address ,,fowler ,,wells ,,co41 ,publishers1 #gec ,broadway1 ,new ,york4 ,,the ,,human ,,voice4 ,,its ,,anatomy1 ,,physiology1 ,,pathology1 ,,therapeutics1 ,,and ,,training1 ,,with ,,rules ,,of ,,order ,,for ,,lyceums4 ,,by ,r4 ,t4 ,,trall1 ,m4,d4 ,paper1 #ej ,cents2 ,cloth1 #ge ,cents4 ,the work comprises1 in a clear1 concise form1 directions for strengthening and improving the voice1 overcoming constitutional difficulties1 and repairing the abnormal conditions in the organs of articulation as far as they can be remedied4 ,the work contains many illustrations1 with full directions for vocal culture and how gestures may become graceful4 ,it contains1 for practice1 some of the most popular selections1 including the best from ,dickens1 ,henry ,clay1 ,pope1 and ,bancroft1 with ,poe's ,raven and the ,bells2 also1 ,sheridan's ,ride4 ,the chapter devoted to rules of order for public meetings constitutes a ,,chairman',s ,,guide1 and with a list of debatable subjects1 would be considered worth the price of the book by many young men and members of debating societies4 ,let every young man--and woman1 too--prepare themselves for speaking in public when occasion may demand it4 ,,notices4 ,all who desire to read and speak well1 will find this book an excellent guide4--,new ,england ,journal of ,education4 ,any one who desires to improve his voice1 should get a copy of this new work4 ,it is a safe guide for the use of all who aim to become good readers and speakers4--,new ,york ,weekly4 ,the work aims at a scientific and thorough treatment of the subject4--,daily ,graphic4 ,this book supplies the greatest want of young persons entering on their oratorical career4--,rural ,new ,yorker4 ,an excellent guide for those desiring to become good readers or public speakers1 for strengthening and improving the voice4--,publishers' ,weekly4 ,a very useful treatise1 practical in treatment1 and popular in form4--,christian ,intelligencer4 ,it will be an aid to teachers4--,national ,teachers' ,monthly4 ,it will be found a plain and intelligible guide in theory and practice1 to any who desire to improve or excel1 and must rely mainly on self-education4--,christian ,instructor1 and ,west4 ,united ,pres4 ,agents wanted to sell this in ,high ,schools1 ,colleges1 etc4 ,sent by mail1 post-paid1 on receipt of price4 ,address ,,fowler ,,wells ,,co41 ,publishers1 #gec ,broadway1 ,new ,york4 ,a ,choice of ,premiums4 ,the ,phrenological ,chart4 ,a handsome symbolical ,head1 made from new and special drawings designed for the purpose4 ,the pictorial illustrations show the location of each of the phrenological organs and their natural language4 ,the ,head is about twelve ins4 wide1 handsomely lithographed in colors and on heavy plate paper #ai x #bd ins41 properly mounted1 with rings for hanging or may be framed1 and will be very attractive wherever it is seen4 ,price3 #a4jj4 ,is given to the new subscribers1 or the ,bust ,premium4 ,illustration ,the ,phrenological ,bust4 ,this ,bust is made of ,plaster of ,paris1 and so lettered as to show the exact location of each of the ,phrenological ,organs4 ,the head is nearly life-size1 and very ornamental1 deserving a place on the centre-table or mantel1 in parlor1 office or study4 ,this1 with the illustrated key which accompanies each ,bust1 should be in the hands of all who would know ,,how ,,to ,,read ,,character4 ,price1 #a4jj1 or given as a ,premium to each new subscriber to the ,,journal or we will send the ,chart ,premium4 ,,the ,,phrenological ,,journal ,is widely known in ,america and ,europe1 having been before the reading world fifty years1 and occupying a place in literature exclusively its own1 viz41 the study of ,,human ,,nature in all its phases1 including ,phrenology1 ,physiognomy1 ,ethnology1 ,physiology1 etc41 together with the ,,science ,,of ,,health1 and no expense will be spared to make it the best publication for general circulation1 tending always to make men better physically1 mentally1 and morally4 ,parents and teachers should read the ,,journal1 that they may better know how to govern and train their children4 ,young people should read the ,,journal1 that they may make the most of themselves4 ,it has long met with the hearty approval of the press and the people4 ,n4 ,y4 ,times says3 ,,the ,,phrenological ,,journal proves that the increasing years of a periodical is no reason for its lessening its enterprise or for diminishing its abundance of interesting matter4 ,if all magazines increased in merit as steadily as ,,the ,,phrenological ,,journal1 they would deserve in time to show equal evidences of popularity4 ,christian ,union says3 ,it is well known as a popular storehouse for useful thought4 ,it teaches men to know themselves and constantly presents matters of the highest interest to intelligent readers1 and has the advantage of having always been not only up with the times1 but a little in advance4 ,its popularity shows the result of enterprise and brains4 ,,terms4--,the ,,journal is published monthly at #b4dj a year1 or #bj cents a ,number4 ,to each new subscriber is given either the ,,bust or ,,chart ,premium described above4 ,when the ,premiums are sent1 #ac cents extra must be received with each subscription to pay postage on the ,,journal and the expense of boxing and packing the ,bust1 which will be sent by express1 or ,no4 #b1 a smaller size1 or the ,chart ,premium1 will be sent by mail1 post-paid4 ,send amount to ,p4 ,o4 ,orders1 ,p4 ,n41 ,drafts on ,new ,york1 or in ,registered ,letters4 ,postage-stamps will be received4 ,,agents ,,wanted4 ,send #aj cents for specimen ,numbers1 ,premium ,list1 ,posters1 etc4 ,address ,,fowler ,,wells ,,co41 ,publishers1 #gec ,broadway1 ,new ,york4 ,illustration ,,heads ,,and ,,faces3 ,,how ,,to ,,study ,,them ,a ,complete ,manual of ,phrenology and ,physiognomy for the ,people4 ,by ,,prof4 ,,nelson ,,sizer1 and ,h4 ,s4 ,,drayton1 ,m4,d4 ,fully illustrated4 ,octavo1 extra cloth1 #a4jj2 paper edition1 #dj cents4 ,all claim to know something of ,how to ,,read ,character1 but very few understand all the ,signs of ,character as shown in the ,head and ,face4 ,the subject is one of great importance1 and in this work the authors1 ,prof4 ,nelson ,sizer1 the phrenological examiner at the rooms of ,fowler ,wells ,co41 and ,dr4 ,h4 ,s4 ,drayton1 the editor of the ,phrenological ,journal1 have considered it from a practical standpoint1 and the subject is so simplified as to be of great interest and easily understood4 ,the demand for standard publications of low price has increased greatly with the tendency of many bookmakers to meet it4 ,popular editions of the poets1 historians1 scientists have fallen in line with the hundreds and thousands of cheap editions of the better classes of novels2 and now1 in response to the often-expressed want of the studious and curious1 we have this voluminous yet very low-priced treatise on ,heads and ,faces from the point of view of ,phrenology1 ,physiognomy1 and ,physiology4 ,although so low-priced1 as we have noted above1 it is no flimsy1 patched-up volume1 but a careful1 honest work1 replete with instruction1 fresh in thought1 suggestive and inspiring4 ,there are nearly two hundred illustrations1 exhibiting a great variety of faces1 human and animal1 and many other interesting features of the much-sided subject that is considered4 ,taken at length it is one of the most complete books on face-study that has been issued by its publishers1 and is a book that must create a demand wherever it is seen4 ,the style in which it has been produced1 the excellent paper1 good presswork1 numerous illustrations1 and elegant1 engaging cover1 make it a phenomenon even in this cheap book day4 ,sent by mail1 post-paid1 on receipt of price1 #dj cts4 ,,agents ,,wanted4 ,address1 ,,fowler ,,wells ,,co41 ,publishers1 #gec ,broadway1 ,new ,york4 ,a ,,new ,,book4 ,,health ,,in ,,the ,,household2 ,,or1 ,,hygienic ,,cookery4 ,by ,,susanna ,w4 ,,dodds1 ,m4,d4 ,one large #abmo vol41 #fjj pp41 extra cloth or oil-cloth4 ,price4 #b4jj4 ,the author of this work is specially qualified for her task1 as she is both a physician and a practical housekeeper4 ,it is unquestionably the best work written on the healthful preparation of food1 and should be in the hands of every housekeeper who wishes to prepare food healthfully and palatably4 ,the best way and the reason why are given4 ,it is complete in every department4 ,to show something of what is thought of this work we copy a few brief extracts from the many4 ,,notices ,,of ,,the ,,press4 ,this work contains a great deal of excellent advice about wholesome food and gives directions for preparing many dishes in a way that will make luxuries for the palate out of many simple productions of ,nature which are now lost by a vicious cookery4--,home ,journal4 ,another book on cookery1 and one that appears to be fully the equal in all respects and superior to many of its predecessors4 ,simplicity is sought to be blended with science1 economy with all the enjoyments of the table1 and health and happiness with an ample household liberally4 ,every purse and every taste will find in ,mrs4 ,dodds' book1 material within its means of grasp for efficient kitchen administration4--,n4 ,y4 ,star4 ,the book can not fail to be of great value in every household to those who will intelligently appreciate the author's stand-point4 ,and there are but few who will not concede that it would be a public benefit if our people generally would become better informed as to the better mode of living than the author intends4--,scientific ,american4 ,she evidently knows what she is writing about1 and her book is eminently practical upon every page4 ,it is more than a book of recipes for making soups1 and pies1 and cake2 it is a educator of how to make the home the abode of healthful people4--,the ,daily ,inter-,ocean1 ,chicago1 ,ill4 ,the book is a good one1 and should be given a place in every well-regulated cuisine4--,indianapolis ,journal4 ,as a comprehensive work on the subject of healthful cookery1 there is no other in print which is superior1 and which brings the subject so clearly and squarely to the understanding of an average housekeeper4--,methodist ,recorder4 ,in this book ,dr4 ,dodds deals with the whole subject scientifically1 and yet has made her instructions entirely practical4 ,this book will certainly prove useful1 and if its precepts could be universally followed1 without doubt human life would be considerably lengthened4--,springfield ,union4 ,here is a cook-book prepared by an educated lady physician4 ,it seems to be a very sensible addition to the voluminous literature on this subject1 which ordinarily has little reference to the hygienic character of the preparations which are described4--,zion's ,herald4 ,this one seems to us to be most sensible and practical1 while yet based upon scientific principles--in short1 the best4 ,if it were in every household1 there would be far less misery in the world4--,south and ,west4 ,there is much good sense in the book1 and there is plenty of occasion for attacking the ordinary methods of cooking1 as well as the common style of diet4--,morning ,star4 ,she sets forth the why and wherefore of cookery1 and devotes the larger portion of the work to those articles essential to good blood1 strong bodies1 and vigorous minds4--,new ,haven ,register4 ,the work will be sent to any address1 by mail1 post-paid1 on receipt of price1 #b4jj4 ,,agents ,,wanted1 to whom special terms will be given4 ,send for terms4 ,address ,,fowler ,,wells ,,co41 ,publishers1 #gec ,broadway1 ,new ,york4 ,illustration ,names of the ,faculties4 #a4 ,,amativeness4--,connubial love1 affection4 ,a4 ,,conjugal ,,love4--,union for life1 pairing instinct4 #b4 ,,parental ,,love4--,care of offspring1 and all young4 #c4 ,,friendship4--,sociability1 union of friends4 #d4 ,,inhabitiveness4--,love of home and country4 #e4 ,,continuity4--,application1 consecutiveness4 ,a4 ,,vitativeness4--,clinging to life1 tenacity4 #f4 ,,combativeness4 ,defense1 courage4 #g4 ,,destructiveness4--,executiveness4 #h4 ,,alimentiveness4--,appetite for food1 etc4 #i4 ,,acquisitiveness4--,frugality1 economy4 #aj4 ,,secretiveness4--,self-control1 policy4 #aa4 ,,cautiousness4--,guardedness1 safety4 #ab4 ,,approbativeness4--,love of applause4 #ac4 ,,self-,,esteem4--,self-respect1 dignity4 #ad4 ,,firmness4--,stability1 perseverance4 #ae4 ,,conscientiousness4--,sense of right4 #af4 ,,hope4--,expectation1 anticipation4 #ag4 ,,spirituality4--,intuition1 prescience4 #ah4 ,,veneration4--,worship1 adoration4 #ai4 ,,benevolence4--,sympathy1 kindness4 #bj4 ,,constructiveness4--,ingenuity1 tools4 #ba4 ,,ideality4--,taste1 love of beauty1 poetry4 ,b4 ,,sublimity4--,love of the grand1 vast4 #bb4 ,,imitation4--,copying1 aptitude4 #bc4 ,,mirth4--,fun1 wit1 ridicule1 facetiousness4 #bd4 ,,individuality4--,observation1 to see4 #be4 ,,form4--,memory1 shape1 looks1 persons4 #bf4 ,,size4--,measurement of quantity4 #bg4 ,,weight4--,control of motion1 balancing4 #bh4 ,,color4--,discernment1 and love of color4 #bi4 ,,order4--,method1 system1 going by rule4 #cj4 ,,calculation4--,mental arithmetic4 #ca4 ,,locality4--,memory of place1 position4 #cb4 ,,eventuality4--,memory of facts1 events4 #cc4 ,,time4--,telling when1 time of day1 dates4 #cd4 ,,tune4--,love of music1 singing4 #ce4 ,,language4--,expression by words1 acts4 #cf4 ,,causality4--,planning1 thinking4 #cg4 ,,comparison4--,analysis1 inferring4 ,c4 ,,human ,,nature4--,sagacity4 ,d4 ,,suavity4--,pleasantness1 blandness4 ,for complete definitions of all the organs of the ,,brain1 and the features of the ,,face1 see ,new ,physiognomy by ,s4 ,r4 ,,wells1 with #a1jjj ,illustrations4 ,price1 post-paid1 #e1 #h1 and #aj1 according to styles of binding4 ,,education ,,complete4 ,education and ,self-,improvement ,complete4--,comprising ,physiology--,animal and ,mental3 ,self-,culture and ,perfection of ,character3 including the ,management of ,youth3 ,memory and ,intellectual ,improvement4 ,complete in one large1 well-bound #abmo volume1 with #hee pp41 and upward ,seventy ,engravings4 ,price1 pre-paid1 by mail4 #c ,this work is1 in all respects1 one of the best educational hand-books in the ,english language4 ,any system of education that neglects the training and developing all that goes to make up a ,,man1 must necessarily be incomplete4 ,the mind and body are so intimately related and connected that it is impossible to cultivate the former without it is properly supplemented by the latter4 ,the work is subdivided into three departments--the first devoted to the preservation and restoration of health and the improvement of mentality2 the second to the regulation of the feelings and perfection of the moral character2 and the third1 to the intellectual cultivation4 ,,education ,,complete is a library in itself1 and covers the ,,entire ,,nature ,,of ,,man4 ,we append below a synopsis of the table of contents3 ,,health ,,of ,,body ,,and ,,power ,,of ,,mind4 ,,physiology--,,animal ,,and ,,mental ,,health--,,its ,,laws ,,and ,,preservation4 ,happiness constitutional2 ,pain not necessary2 ,object of all ,education2 ,reciprocation existing between ,body and ,mind2 ,health defined2 ,sickness--not providential4 ,,food--,,its ,,necessity ,,and ,,selection4--,unperverted ,appetite an ,infallible ,directory2 ,different ,diets ,feed ,different ,powers2 ,how to ,eat--or ,mastication4 ,quantity1 ,time1 etc42 ,how ,appetite can be ,restrained2 ,the ,digestive ,process2 ,exercise after ,meals4 ,,circulation1 ,,respiration1 ,,perspiration1 ,,sleep4--,the ,heart1 its ,structure and ,office2 ,the ,circulatory ,system2 ,the ,lungs1 their ,structure and ,functions2 ,respiration1 and its importance2 ,perspiration2 ,prevention and ,cure of ,colds1 and their consequences2 ,regulation of ,temperature by ,fire and ,clothing2 ,sleep4 ,,the ,,brain ,,and ,,nervous ,,system4--,position1 ,function1 and ,structure of the ,brain2 ,consciousness or the seat of the soul2 ,function of the ,nerves2 ,how to seep the ,nervous system in ,health2 ,the ,remedy of ,diseases2 ,observance of the ,laws of ,health ,effectual2 ,the ,drink of ,dyspeptics--its kind1 times and quantity2 ,promotion of ,circulation2 ,consumption--its ,prevention and ,cure2 ,preventives of ,insanity1 etc4 ,,self-,,culture ,,and ,,perfection ,,of ,,character4 ,,constituent ,,elements ,,or ,,conditions ,,of ,,perfection ,,of ,,character--,progression a ,law of ,things--its application to human improvement2 ,human perfectibility1--the harmonious action of all the faculties2 ,governing the propensities by the intellectual and moral faculties4 ,proof that the organs can be enlarged and diminished2 ,the proper management of ,youth1 etc4 ,,analysis ,,and ,,means ,,of ,,strengthening ,,of ,,the ,,faculties4--,amativeness2 ,philoprogenitiveness2 ,adhesiveness2 ,union for ,life2 ,inhabitiveness2 ,continuity2 ,vitativeness2 ,combativeness2 ,destructiveness1 or ,executiveness2 ,alimentiveness2 ,aquativeness1 or ,bibativeness2 ,acquisitiveness2 ,secretiveness2 ,cautiousness2 ,approbativeness2 ,self-,esteem2 ,firmness4 ,conscientiousness2 ,hope2 ,spirituality--,marvelousness2 ,veneration2 ,benevolence2 ,constructiveness2 ,ideality2 ,sublimity2 ,initiation2 ,mirthfulness2 ,agreeableness--with engraved illustrations4 ,,memory ,,and ,,intellectual ,,improvement ,,applied ,,to ,,self-,,education4 ,,classification ,,and ,,function ,,of ,,the ,,faculties4--,man's superiority2 ,intellect his crowning endowment2 ,how to strengthen and improve the ,memory2 ,definition1 location1 analysis1 and means of the strengthening the intellectual faculties4 ,,individuality4 ,,form4 ,,size4 ,,weight4 ,,color4 ,,order4 ,,calculation4 ,,locality4 ,,eventuality4 ,,time4 ,,tune3 ,influence of ,music4 ,,language3 ,power of ,eloquence ,good ,language4 ,,phonography3 its advantages4 ,,causality3 ,teaching others to think2 ,astronomy2 ,anatomy and ,physiology2 ,study of ,nature4 ,,comparison3 ,inductive reasoning4 ,,human ,,nature3 ,adaptation4 ,,developments ,,requiring ,,for ,,particular ,,avocations4--,good ,teachers2 ,clergymen2 ,physician2 ,lawyers2 ,statesmen2 ,editors2 ,authors2 ,public ,speakers2 ,poets2 ,lecturers2 ,merchants2 ,mechanics2 ,artists2 ,painters2 ,farmers2 ,engineers2 ,landlords2 ,printers2 ,milliners2 ,seamstresses2 ,fancy ,workers1 and the like4 ,full and explicit directions are given for the cultivation and direction of all the powers of the mind1 instruction for finding the exact location of each organ1 and its relative size compared with others4 ,,works ,,published ,,by ,,fowler ,,wells ,,co41 ,new ,york4 ,,phrenology ,,and ,,physiognomy4 ,,phrenological ,,journal ,,and ,,science ,,of ,,health--,devoted to ,ethnology1 ,physiology1 ,phrenology1 ,physiognomy1 ,psychology1 ,sociology1 ,biography1 ,education1 ,literature1 etc41 with ,measures to ,reform1 ,elevate and ,improve ,mankind ,physically1 ,mentally and ,spiritually4 ,monthly1 #b4jj a year2 #bj;c4 a number4 ,bound vols4 #c4jj ,,expression3 ,,its ,,anatomy ,,and ,,philosophy4 ,illustrated by ,sir ,charles ,bell4 ,additional ,notes and ,illustrations by ,,samuel ,r4 ,,wells4 #a4 ,,education ,,of ,,the ,,feelings ,,and ,,affections4 ,charles ,bray4 ,edited by ,,nelson ,,sizer4 ,cloth1 #a4ej4 ,this work gives full and definite directions for the cultivation or restraining of all the faculties relating to the feelings or affections4 ,,combe',s ,,system ,,of ,,phrenology2 ,with #ajj ,engravings4 #a4be4 ,,combe',s ,,constitution ,,of ,,man2 ,considered in ,relation to external objects4 ,with twenty engravings1 and portrait of author4 #a4be4 ,the ,constitution of ,man is a work with which every teacher and every pupil should be acquainted4 ,,combe',s ,,lectures ,,on ,,phrenology2 with ,notes1 an ,essay on the ,phrenological ,mode of ,investigation1 and an ,historical ,sketch1 by ,a4 ,,boardman1 ,m4,d4 #a4be4 ,,combe',s ,,moral ,,philosophy2 or1 the ,duties of ,man considered in his ,individual1 ,domestic1 and ,social ,capacities4 #a4be4 ,,how ,,to ,,study ,,character2 ,,or1 ,,the ,,true ,,basis ,,for ,,the ,,science ,,of ,,mind4 ,including a ,review of ,bain's ,criticism of ,phrenology4 ,by ,thos4 ,a4 ,hyde4 #ej;c42 clo4 #a4jj4 ,,new ,,descriptive ,,chart1 for the ,use of examiners in the ,delineation of ,character4 ,by ,s4 ,r4 ,wells4 #be;c4 ,,new ,,physiognomy2 ,,or ,,signs ,,of ,,character1 as manifested through ,temperament and ,external ,forms1 and especially in the ,human ,face ,divine4 ,with more than ,one ,thousand ,illustrations4 ,by ,samuel ,r4 ,wells4 ,in one #abmo volume1 #gfh pages1 muslin1 #e4jj2 in heavy calf1 marbled edges1 #h4jj2 ,turkey morocco1 full gilt1 #aj4jj4 ,the treatise of ,mr4 ,wells1 which is admirably printed and profusely illustrated1 is probably the most complete hand-book upon the subject in the language4--,n4 ,y4 ,tribune4 ,,how ,,to ,,read ,,character4--,a new illustrated ,hand-book of ,phrenology and ,physiognomy1 for ,students and ,examiners1 with a chart for recording the sizes of the different ,organs of the brain in the ,delineation of ,character2 with upward of #agj ,engravings4 ,by ,s4 ,r4 ,wells4 #a4be4 ,,wedlock2 ,,or1 ,,the ,,right ,,relations ,,of ,,the ,,sexes4 ,disclosing the ,laws of ,conjugal ,selection1 and showing ,who ,may ,marry4 ,by ,s4 ,r4 ,wells4 #a4ej2 gilt1 #b4jj4 ,,brain ,,and ,,mind2 or ,mental ,science ,considered in ,accordance with the ,principles of ,phrenology and in ,relation to ,modern ,physiology4 ,h4 ,s4 ,,drayton ,m4,d41 ,,and ,j4 ,,mcneill4 #a4ej4 ,this is the latest and best work published4 ,it constitutes a complete text-book of ,phrenology1 is profusely illustrated1 and will adapted to the use of students4 ,,indications ,,of ,,character1 as manifested in the general shape of the head and form of the face4 ,h4 ,s4 ,,drayton1 ,m4,d4 ,illus4 #be;c4 ,,how ,,to ,,study ,,phrenology4--,with ,suggestions to ,students1 ,lists of ,best ,works1 ,constitutions for ,societies1 etc4 #abmo1 paper1 #aj;c4 ,,choice ,,of ,,pursuits3 ,,or1 ,,what ,,to ,,do ,,and ,,why4 ,describing ,seventy-five ,trades and ,professions1 and the ,temperaments and ,talents required for each4 ,with ,portraits and ,biographies of many successful ,thinkers and ,workers4 ,by ,nelson ,sizer4 #a4ge4 ,,how ,,to ,,teach ,,according ,,to ,,temperament ,,and ,,mental ,,development2 or1 ,phrenology in the ,schoolroom and the ,family4 ,by ,nelson ,sizer4 ,illustrated4 #a4ej4 ,,forty ,,years ,,in ,,phrenology4--,embracing ,recollections of ,history1 ,anecdotes and ,experience4 #a4ej4 ,,thoughts ,,on ,,domestic ,,life2 or1 ,marriage ,vindicated and ,free ,love ,exposed4 #be;c4 ,,cathechism ,,of ,,phrenology4--,illustrating the ,principles of the ,science by means of ,questions and ,answers4 ,revised and enlarged by ,nelson ,sizer4 #ej;c4 ,,heads ,,and ,,faces3 ,,how ,,to ,,study ,,them4 ,a ,complete ,manual of ,phrenology and ,physiognomy for the ,people4 ,by ,prof4 ,nelson ,sizer and ,h4 ,s4 ,drayton1 ,m4,d4 ,nearly #bjj octavo pages and #bjj illustrations1 price in paper1 #dj;c42 ex4 clo4 #a4jj4 ,all claim to know something of ,how to ,read ,character but very few understand all the ,signs of ,character as shown in the ,head and ,face4 ,this is a study of which one never tires2 it is always fresh1 for you have always new text books4 ,the book is really a great ,album of ,portraits1 and will be found of interest for the illustrations alone4 ,,memory ,,and ,,intellectual ,,improvement1 applied to ,self-,education and ,juvenile ,instruction4 ,by ,o4 ,s4 ,,fowler4 #a4jj4 ,the best work on the subject4 ,,hereditary ,,descent4--,its ,laws and ,facts applied to ,human ,improvement4 ,by ,o4 ,s ,fowler4 ,illustrated4 #a4jj4 ,,the ,,science ,,of ,,the ,,mind ,,applied ,,to ,,teaching3 ,including the ,human ,temperaments and their influence upon the ,mind2 ,the ,analysis of the ,mental ,faculties and how to develop and train them2 ,the ,theory of ,education and of the ,school1 and ,normal ,methods of teaching the common ,english branches4 ,by ,prof4 ,u4 ,j4 ,,hoffman4 ,profusely illustrated4 #a4ej4 ,,reminiscences ,,of ,,dr4 ,,spurzheim ,,and ,,george ,,combe and a ,review of the ,science of ,phrenology from the period of its discovery by ,dr4 ,,gali to the time of the visit of ,,george ,,combe to the ,united ,states1 with a portrait of ,dr4 ,,spurzheim1 by ,,nahem ,,capen1 ,,ll4,d4 ,ex4 clo4 #a4be4 ,,education ,,and ,,self-,,improvement ,,complete3 ,comprising ,physiology1 ,animal and ,mental1 ,self-culture and ,perfection of ,character1 ,memory and ,intellectual ,improvement4 ,by ,o4 ,s4 ,,fowler4 ,one large vol4 ,illus4 #c4jj4 ,,self-,,culture ,,and ,,perfection ,,of ,,character2 ,including the ,management of ,children and ,youth4 #a4jj4 ,one of the best of the author's works4 ,,physiology1 ,,animal ,,and ,,mental3 ,applied to the ,preservation and ,restoration of ,health of ,body and ,power of ,mind4 #a4jj4 ,,phrenology ,,proved1 ,,illustrated ,,and ,,applied4 ,embracing an ,analysis of the ,primary ,mental ,powers in their ,various ,degrees of ,development1 and location of the ,phrenological ,organs4 ,the ,mental ,phenomena produced by their combined action1 and the location of the faculties amply illustrated4 ,by the ,fowler ,brothers4 #a4be4 ,,self-,,instructor ,,in ,,phrenology ,,and ,,physiology4 ,with over ,one ,hundred ,engravings and a ,chart for ,phrenologists1 for the ,recording of ,phrenological ,development4 ,by the ,fowler ,brothers4 #ge;c4 ,,phrenological ,,miscellany ,,of ,,illustrated ,,annuals ,,of ,,phrenology ,,and ,,physiognomy1 from #ahfe to #ahgc combined in one volume containing over #djj illustrations1 many portraits and biographies of distinguished personages4 #a4ej ,,redfield',s ,,comparative ,,physiognomy2 or resemblances ,between ,men and ,animals1 ,illustrated4 #b4ej ,,phrenology ,,and ,,the ,,scriptures4--,showing the ,harmony between ,phrenology and the ,bible4 #ae cents4 ,,phrenological ,,chart4 ,a symbolical ,head #ab inches across1 ,lithographed in colors1 on paper #ai x #bd inches1 mounted for hanging on the wall1 or suitable for framing4 #a4jj ,,education3 ,,its ,,elementary ,,principles ,,founded ,,on ,,the ,,nature ,,of ,,man4 ,by ,j4 ,g4 ,spurzheim1 #a4be ,,natural ,,laws ,,of ,,man4--,a ,philosophical ,catechism4 ,sixth ,edition4 ,enlarged and improved by ,j4 ,g4 ,spurzheim1 ,m4,d4 #ej cents4 ,,lectures ,,on ,,mental ,,science4--,according to the philosophy of ,phrenology4 ,delivered before the ,anthropological ,society4 ,by ,rev4 ,g4 ,s4 ,weaver4 ,illustrated4 #a4jj ,,phrenological ,,bust4--,showing the latest classification and exact location of the ,organs of the ,brain4 ,it is divided so as to show each individual ,organ on one side2 with all the groups ,social1 ,executive1 ,intellectual and ,moral1 classified on the other4 ,large size 7not mailable7 #a4 ,small #ej cents4 ,,works ,,on ,,magnetism4 ,there is an increasing interest in the facts relating to ,magnetism1 etc41 and we present below a list of ,works on this subject4 ,,library ,,of ,,mesmerism ,,and ,,psychology4--,comprising the ,philosophy of ,mesmerism1 ,clairvoyance1 ,mental ,electricity4--,,fascination1 or the ,power of ,charming4 ,illustrating the ,principles of ,life in connection with ,spirit and ,matter4--,,the ,,macrocosm or the ,universe ,without1 being an unfolding of the plan of ,creation and the ,correspondence of ,truths4--,,the ,,philosophy ,,of ,,electrical ,,psychology2 the ,doctrine of impressions1 including the connection between ,mind and ,matter1 also1 the ,treatment of ,diseases4--,,psychology or the ,science of the ,soul1 considered ,physiologically and ,philosophically2 with an ,appendix containing ,notes of ,mesmeric and ,psychical experience and ,illustrations of the ,brain and ,nervous ,system4 #c4ej4 ,,philosophy ,,of ,,mesmerism4--,by ,dr4 ,john ,bovee ,dods4 #ej cents4 ,,philosophy ,,of ,,electrical ,,psychology4 ,a course of ,twelve ,lectures4 #a4jj ,,practical ,,instructions ,,in ,,animal ,,magnetism4 ,by ,j4 ,p4 ,f4 ,deleuze4 ,translated by ,thomas ,c4 ,hartshorn4 ,new and ,revised edition1 with an appendix of notes by the ,translator and ,letters from ,eminent ,physicians and others4 #b4jj ,,history ,,of ,,salem ,,witchcraft4--,a review of ,charles ,w4 ,upham's great ,work from the ,edinburgh ,review1 with ,notes by ,samuel ,r4 ,wells containing also1 ,the ,planchette ,mystery1 ,spiritualism1 by ,mrs4 ,harriet ,beecher ,stowe1 and ,dr4 ,doddridge's ,dream4 #a4jj ,,fascination3 ,,or1 ,,the ,,philosophy ,,of ,,charming4 ,illustrating the ,principles of ,life in connection with ,spirit and ,matter4 ,by ,j4 ,b4 ,newman1 ,m4,d4 #a4jj ,,how ,,to ,,magnetize1 ,,or ,,magnetism ,,and ,,clairvoyance4--,a ,practical ,treatise on the ,choice1 ,management and ,capabilities of ,subjects1 with ,instructions on the ,method of ,procedure4 ,by ,j4 ,v4 ,wilson4 #be;c4 ,,health ,,books4 ,this ,list ,comprises the ,best ,works on ,hygiene1 ,health1 ,etc4 ,,health ,,in ,,the ,,household ,,or ,,hygienic ,,cookery2 by ,susanna ,w4 ,dodds1 ,m4,d4 #abmo4 ex4 clo4 #b4jj4 ,a novice in housekeeping will not be puzzled by this admirable book1 it is so simple1 systematic1 practical and withal productive of much household pleasure1 not only by means of the delicious food prepared from its recipes1 but through the saving of labor and care to the housewife4 ,,household ,,remedies4--,for the prevalent ,disorders of the ,human ,organism1 by ,felix ,oswald1 ,m4,d4 #abmo4 pp4 #bbi #a4jj4 ,the author of this work is one of the keenest and most critical writers on medical subjects now before the public4 ,he writes soundly and practically4 ,he is an enthusiastic apostle of the gospel of hygiene4 ,we predict that his book will win many converts to the faith and prove a valuable aid to those who are already of the faith but are asking for more light4 ,among the special ailments herein considered are ,consumption1 ,asthma1 ,dyspepsia1 ,climatic ,fevers1 ,enteric ,disorders1 ,nervous ,maladies1 ,catarrh1 ,pleurisy1 etc4 ,,the ,,temperaments1 ,,or ,,varieties ,,of ,,physical ,,constitution ,,in ,,man1 considered in their relation to ,mental ,character and ,practical ,affairs of ,life4 ,with an ,introduction by ,h4 ,s4 ,drayton1 ,a4 ,m4 ,editor of the ,,phrenological ,,journal4 #aej ,portraits and other illustrations1 by ,d4 ,h4 ,jacques1 ,m4,d4 #a4ej4 ,,how ,,to ,,grow ,,handsome1 ,,or ,,hints ,,toward ,,physical ,,perfection and the ,philosophy of ,human ,beauty1 showing ,how to ,acquire and ,retain ,bodily ,symmetry1 ,health and ,vigor1 secure long life and avoid the infirmities and deformities of age4 ,new ,edition1 #a4jj4 ,,medical ,,electricity4--,a ,manual for ,students1 showing the most ,scientific and ,rational ,application to all forms of ,diseases1 of the different combinations of ,electricity1 ,galvanism1 ,electro-,magnetism4 ,magneto-,electricity1 and ,human ,magnetism1 by ,w4 ,white1 ,m4,d4 #a4ej4 ,,the ,,man ,,wonderful ,,in ,,the ,,house ,,beautiful4--,an allegory teaching the ,principles of ,physiology and ,hygiene1 and the effects of ,stimulants and ,narcotics1 by ,drs4 ,c4 ,b4 and ,mary ,a4 ,allen4 #a4ej4 ,to all who enjoy studies pertaining to the human body this book will prove a boon4 ,the accomplished physician1 the gentle mother1 the modest girl1 and the wide-awake school-boy will find pleasure in its perusal4 ,it is wholly unlike any book previously published on the subject1 and is such a thorough teacher that progressive parents cannot afford to do without it4 ,,the ,,family ,,physician4--,a ,ready ,prescriber and ,hygienic ,advisor ,with ,reference to the ,nature1 ,causes1 ,prevention and ,treatment of ,diseases1 ,accidents and ,casualties of every kind with a ,glossary and copious index4 ,illustrated with nearly three hundred engravings1 by ,joel ,shaw1 ,m4,d4 #c4 ,,how ,,to ,,feed ,,the ,,baby ,,to ,,make ,,her ,,healthy ,,and ,,happy1 by ,c4 ,e4 ,page1 ,m4,d4 #abmo4 third edition1 revised and enlarged4 ,paper1 #ej;c4 extra cloth4 #ge;c4 ,this is the most important work ever published on the subject of infant dietetics4 ,,the ,,natural ,,cure ,,of ,,consumption1 ,constipation1 ,bright's ,disease1 ,neuralgia1 ,rheumatism1 ,colds1 ,fevers1 etc4 ,how these ,disorders ,originate and ,how to ,prevent ,them4 ,by ,c4 ,e4 ,page1 ,m4,d4 cloth1 #a4jj ,,horses1 ,,their ,,feed ,,and ,,their ,,feet4 ,a ,manual of ,horse ,hygiene4 ,invaluable to the veteran or the novice1 pointing out the true sources of disease1 and how to prevent and counteract them4 ,by ,c4 ,e4 ,page1 ,m4,d4 ,paper #ej;c42 cloth #ge;c4 ,this is the best book on the care of horses ever published1 worth many times its cost to every horse owner4 ,,the ,,movement ,,cure4--,the ,history and ,philosophy1 of this ,system of ,medical ,treatment1 with examples of ,single ,movements1 ,the ,principles of ,massage1 and directions for their ,use in various ,forms of ,chronic ,diseases4 ,new edition by ,g4 ,h4 ,taylor1 ,m4,d4 #a4ej4 ,,massage4--,giving the ,principles and directions for its application in all ,forms of ,chronic ,diseases1 by ,g4 ,h4 ,taylor1 ,m4,d4 #a4jj ,,the ,,science ,,of ,a ,,new ,,life4--,by ,john ,cowan1 ,m4,d4 ,ex4 clo4 #c4jj4 ,,tobacco3 ,,its ,,physical1 ,,intellectual ,,and ,,moral ,,effects ,,on ,,the ,,human ,,system1 by ,dr4 ,alcott4 ,new and revised edition with notes and additions by ,n4 ,sizer4 #be;c4 ,,sober ,,and ,,temperate ,,life4--,the ,discourses and ,letters of ,louis ,corbaro on a ,sober and ,temperate ,life4 #ej;c4 ,,smoking ,,and ,,drinking4 ,by ,james ,parton4 #ej;c42 cloth4 #ge;c4 ,,food ,,and ,,diet4 ,with observations on the ,dietetical ,regimen1 suited for ,disordered ,states of the ,digestive ,organs1 by ,j4 ,pereira1 ,m4,d41 ,f4,r4,s4 #a4ej4 ,,principles ,,applied ,,to ,,the ,,preservation ,,of ,,health and the improvement of ,physical and ,mental ,education1 by ,andrew ,combe1 ,m4,d4 ,illustrated1 cloth1 #a4ej4 ,,water ,,cure ,,in ,,chronic ,,diseases4 ,an ,exposition of the ,causes1 ,progress1 and ,termination of various ,chronic ,diseases of the ,digestive ,organs1 ,lungs1 ,nerves4 ,limbs and ,skin1 and of their ,treatment by ,water and other hygienic ,means4 ,by ,j4 ,m4 ,gully1 ,m4,d4 #a4be4 ,,science ,,of ,,human ,,life4 ,with a copious ,index and ,biographical ,sketch of the author1 ,sylvester ,graham4 ,illustrated1 #c4jj4 ,,management ,,of ,,infancy1 ,,physiological ,,and ,,moral ,,treatment4 ,with ,notes and a ,supplementary ,chapter4 #a4be4 ,,diet ,,question4--,giving the ,reason ,why1 from ,health in the ,household4 by ,s4 ,w4 ,dodds1 ,m4,d4 #be;c4 ,,health ,,miscellany4--,an important collection of ,health ,papers4 ,nearly #ajj octavo pages4 #be;c4 ,,how ,,to ,,be ,,well1 ,,or ,,common ,,sense ,,medical ,,hygiene4 ,a book for the ,people1 giving directions for the ,treatment and ,cure of ,acute ,diseases without the use of ,drug ,medicines2 also ,general ,hints on ,health4 #a4jj ,,foreordained4--,a ,story of ,heredity and of ,special ,paternal ,influences1 by an ,observer4 #abmo4 pp4 #ij4 ,paper1 #ej;c42 extra cloth1 #ge;c4 ,,consumption1 its ,prevention and ,cure by the ,movement ,cure4 #be;c4 ,,notes ,,on ,,beauty1 ,,vigor ,,and ,,development2 or1 ,how to ,acquire ,plumpness of ,form1 ,strength of ,limb and ,beauty of ,complexion4 ,illustrated4 #aj;c4 ,,tea ,,and ,,coffee4--,their ,physical1 ,intellectual and ,moral ,effects on the ,human ,system1 by ,dr4 ,alcott4 ,,new and revised edition with notes and additions by ,nelson ,sizer4 #be;c4 ,,accidents ,,and ,,emergencies1 a guide containing ,directions for the ,treatment in ,bleeding1 ,cuts4 ,sprains1 ,ruptures1 ,dislocations4 ,burns and ,scalds4 ,bites of ,mad ,dogs4 ,choking1 ,poisons1 ,fits1 ,sunstrokes1 ,drowning1 etc41 by ,alfred ,smee1 with ,notes and additions by ,r4 ,t4 ,trall1 ,m4,d4 ,new and revised edition4 #be;c4 ,,special ,,list4--,we have in addition to the above1 ,private ,medical ,works and ,treatises4 ,this ,special ,list will be sent on receipt of stamp4 ,,works ,,on ,,hygiene ,,by ,r4 ,t4 ,,trall1 ,m4,d4 ,these works may be considered standard from the reformatory hygienic standpoint4 ,thousands of people owe their lives and good health to their teaching4 ,,hydropathic ,,encyclopedia4--,a ,system of ,hydropathy and ,hygiene4 ,physiology of the ,human ,body2 ,dietetics and ,hydropathic ,cookery2 ,theory and ,practice of ,water ,treatment2 ,special ,pathology and ,hydro-,therapeutics1 including the ,nature1 ,causes1 ,symptoms and ,treatment of all known diseases2 ,application of ,hydropathy to ,midwifery and the ,nursery with nearly ,one ,thousand ,pages including a ,glossary4 #b vols4 in one #d4 ,,hygienic ,,hand-,,book4--,intended as a ,practical ,guide for the ,sick-room4 ,arranged alphabetically4 #a4be4 ,,illustrated ,,family ,,gymnasium4--,containing the most improved methods of applying ,gymnastic1 ,callisthenic1 ,kinesipathic and ,vocal ,exercises to the ,development of the ,bodily ,organs1 the invigoration of their functions1 the preservation of ,health and the ,cure of ,diseases and ,deformities4 #a4be4 ,,the ,,hydropathic ,,cook-,,book1 with ,recipes for ,cooking on ,hygienic ,principles4 ,containing also a ,philosophical ,exposition of the ,relations of ,food to ,health1 the ,chemical ,elements and ,proximate ,constitution of ,alimentary ,principles2 the ,nutritive ,properties of all kinds of ,aliments2 the ,relative value of ,vegetable and ,animal ,substances2 the ,selection and ,preservation of ,dietetic ,material1 etc4 #a4jj4 ,,fruits ,,and ,,farinacea3 ,,the ,,proper ,,food ,,of ,,man4--,being an attempt to prove by ,history1 ,anatomy1 ,physiology and ,chemistry that the ,original1 ,natural and ,best ,diet of ,man is derived from the ,vegetable ,kingdom4 ,by ,john ,smith4 ,with ,notes by ,trall4 #a4be4 ,,digestion ,,and ,,dyspepsia4--,a ,complete ,explanation of the ,physiology of the ,digestive ,processes1 with the ,symptoms and ,treatment of ,dyspepsia and other ,disorders4 ,illustrated4 #a4jj4 ,,the ,,mother',s ,,hygiene ,,hand-,,book for the ,normal ,development and ,training of ,women and ,children1 and the ,treatment of their ,diseases4 #a4jj4 ,,popular ,,physiology4--,a ,familiar ,exposition of the ,structures1 ,functions and ,relations of the ,human ,system and the ,preservation of ,health4 #a4be4 ,,the ,,true ,,temperance ,,platform4--,an ,exposition of the ,fallacy of ,alcoholic ,medication4 #ej cents4 ,,the ,,alcoholic ,,controversy4--,a ,review of the ,westminster ,review on the ,physiological ,errors of ,teetotalism4 #ej cents4 ,,the ,,human ,,voice4--,its ,anatomy1 ,physiology1 ,pathology1 ,therapeutics and ,training1 with ,rules of ,order for ,lyceums4 #ej cents4 ,,the ,,true ,,healing ,,art3 ,,or ,,hygienic ,,vs4 ,,drug ,,medication4 ,an ,address delivered before the ,smithsonian ,institute1 ,washington4 ,d4 ,c4 #be cts42 clo41 #ej cents4 ,,water-,,cure ,,for ,,the ,,million4--,the processes of ,water ,cure ,explained4 ,rules for ,bathing1 ,dieting1 ,exercising1 ,recipes for ,cooking1 etc41 etc4 ,directions for ,home ,treatment4 ,paper4 #ae cts4 ,,hygeian ,,home ,,cook-,,book3 ,,or ,,healthful ,,and ,,palatable ,,food ,,without ,,condiments4 #be cts4 clo41 #ej cents4 ,,diseases ,,of ,,throat ,,and ,,lungs4--,including ,diphtheria and its ,proper ,treatment4 #be cents4 ,,the ,,bath4--,its ,history and ,uses in ,health and ,disease4 #ce;c42 clo41 #ej;c4 ,a ,,health ,,catechism4--,questions and ,answers4 ,with ,illus4 #aj c4 ,,miscellaneous ,,works4 ,,hand-,,books ,,for ,,home ,,improvement 7,,educational72 comprising1 ,how to ,write1 ,how to ,talk1 ,how to ,behave1 and ,how to do ,business4 ,one #abmo vol4 #b4jj4 ,,how ,,to ,,write4--,a manual of ,composition and ,letter-,writing4 #fj;c4 ,,how ,,to ,,talk4--,a ,pocket ,manual of ,conversation and ,debate1 more than ,five ,hundred ,common ,mistakes in ,speaking ,corrected4 #fj;c4 ,,how ,,to ,,behave4--,a ,pocket ,manual of ,republican ,etiquette and ,guide to ,correct ,personal ,habits with ,rules for ,debating ,societies and ,deliberative ,assemblies4 #fj;c4 ,,how ,,to ,,do ,,business4--,a ,manual of ,practical ,affairs and a ,guide to ,success in ,life1 with a ,collection of ,legal and ,commercial ,forms4 #fj;c4 ,,how ,,to ,,read4--,what and ,why2 or ,hints in ,choosing the ,best ,books1 with a ,classified ,list of ,best ,works in ,biography1 ,criticism1 ,fine ,arts1 ,history1 ,novels1 ,poetry1 ,science1 ,religion1 ,foreign ,languages1 etc4 ,by ,a4 ,v4 ,petit4 ,cloth1 #fj;c4 ,,how ,,to ,,sing2 or1 the ,voice and ,how to ,use it4 ,by ,william ,h4 ,daniell4 #ej;c42 clo4 #ge;c4 ,,how ,,to ,,conduct ,a ,,public ,,meeting2 or the ,chairman's ,guide for ,conducting ,meetings4 #ae;c4 ,,hopes ,,and ,,helps ,,for ,,the ,,young ,,of ,,both ,,sexes4--,relating to the ,formation of ,character1 ,choice of ,avocation1 ,health1 ,amusement1 ,music1 ,conversation1 ,social ,affections1 ,courtship and ,marriage1 by ,rev ,g4 ,s4 ,weaver4 #a4jj ,,aims ,,and ,,aids ,,for ,,girls ,,and ,,young ,,women1 on the ,various ,duties of ,life4 ,including ,physical1 ,intellectual and ,moral ,development1 ,dress1 ,beauty1 ,fashion1 ,employment1 ,education1 the ,home ,relations1 their ,duties to ,young ,men1 ,marriage1 ,womanhood and ,happiness1 by the same #a4jj4 ,,ways ,,of ,,life1 showing the ,right ,way and the ,wrong ,way ,contrasting the ,high ,way and the ,low ,way2 the ,true ,way and the ,false ,way2 the ,upward ,way and the ,downward ,way2 the ,way of ,honor and of ,dishonor1 by ,rev4 ,g4 ,s4 ,weaver4 #ge;c4 ,,the ,,christian ,,household4--,embracing the ,husband1 ,wife1 ,father1 ,mother1 ,child1 ,brother and ,sister1 by ,rev4 ,g4 ,s4 ,weaver4 #ge;c4 ,,weaver',s ,,works ,,for ,,the ,,young1 ,comprising ,hopes and ,helps for the ,young of ,both ,sexes1 ,aims and ,aids for ,girls and ,young ,women1 ,ways of ,life2 or1 the ,right ,way and the ,wrong ,way4 ,one ,vol4 #abmo4 #b4ej ,a ,,natural ,,system ,,of ,,elocution ,,and ,,oratory4--,founded on an analysis of the ,human ,constitution1 considered in its threefold ,nature1 ,mental1 ,physiological and ,expressional4 ,by ,,thos4 ,a4 ,,hyde and ,,wm4 ,,hyde4 ,illustrated4 #b4ej4 ,,the ,,emphatic ,,diaglott1 ,,containing ,,the ,,original ,,greek ,,text ,,of ,,the ,,new ,,testament1 with an interlineary ,word-for-,word ,english ,translation3 a ,new ,emphatic ,version based on the ,interlineary ,translation1 on the ,readings of the ,vatican ,manuscript1 by ,benjamin ,wilson4 #hhd pp4 #d4jj4 ex41 #e4jj4 ,a ,,bachelor',s ,,talks ,,about ,,married ,,life ,,and ,,things ,,adjacent1 by ,rev4 ,william ,aikman1 ,d4,d4 #a4ej ,,life ,,at ,,home2 or ,the ,family and its members4 ,including ,husbands and ,wives1 ,parents1 ,children1 ,brothers1 ,sisters1 ,employers and ,employed4 ,the ,altar in the ,house4 ,by ,dr4 ,aikman4 #a4ej4 gilt4 #b4jj4 ,a ,,lucky ,,waif4--,a story for ,mothers1 of ,home and ,school ,life1 by ,ellen ,e4 ,kenyon4 #abmo4 #a4jj4 ,,oratory--,,sacred ,,and ,,secular2 or1 the ,extemporaneous ,speaker1 including a ,chairman's ,guide for conducting ,public ,meetings according to the best ,parliamentary forms1 by ,wm4 ,pittenger4 #a4jj4 ,,the ,,children ,,of ,,the ,,bible4 ,by ,fanny ,l4 ,armstrong1 with an ,introduction by ,frances ,e4 ,willard1 ,pres4 ,n4 ,w4 ,c4 ,t4 ,u4 clo4 #a4 ,,the ,,temperance ,,reformation4--,its ,history from the first ,temperance ,society in the ,u4 ,s4 to the ,adoption of the ,maine ,liquor ,law4 #a4jj4 ,,aesop',s ,,fables4--,with ,seventy ,splendid ,illustrations4 ,one vol4 #abmo4 fancy cloth1 gilt edges1 #a4jj ,,pope',s ,,essay ,,on ,,man1 with illustrations and ,notes by ,s4 ,r4 ,wells1 tinted paper1 clo4 full gilt4 #a4jj4 ,,gems ,,of ,,goldsmith2 ,the ,traveler1 ,the ,deserted ,village1 ,the ,hermit4 ,with notes and ,original ,illustrations1 and ,biographical ,sketch of the great author4 ,one vol41 fancy cloth1 full gilt4 #a4jj4 ,,the ,,rime ,,of ,,the ,,ancient ,,mariner4 ,in ,seven ,parts4 ,by ,samuel ,t4 ,coleridge4 ,with new illus4 by ,chapman1 fancy clo41 full gilt1 #a4jj ,,immortality ,,inherent ,,in ,,nature4 ,by ,sumner ,barlow1 author of ,the ,voices and other poems1 ex4 cloth1 full gilt4 #fj;c4 ,,how ,,to ,,paint4--,a ,complete ,compendium of the ,art4 ,designed for the use of ,tradesmen1 ,mechanics1 ,merchants and ,farmers1 and a ,guide to the ,professional ,painter4 ,containing a plain ,common sense statement of the ,methods employed by ,painters to produce satisfactory results in ,plain and ,fancy ,painting of every ,description including ,gilding1 ,bronzing1 ,staining1 ,graining1 ,marbling4 ,varnishing1 ,polishing1 ,kalsomining1 ,paper ,hanging1 ,striping1 ,lettering1 ,copying and ,ornamenting1 with ,formulas for ,mixing ,paint in ,oil or ,water4 ,description of ,various ,pigments used2 tools required etc4 #a4jj4 ,,carriage ,,painter',s ,,illustrated ,,manual1 containing a ,treatise on the ,art1 ,science and ,mystery of ,coach1 ,carriage1 and ,car ,painting4 ,including the ,improvements in ,fine ,gilding1 ,bronzing1 ,staining1 ,varnishing1 ,polishing1 ,copying1 ,lettering1 ,scrolling1 and ,ornamenting4 ,by ,f4 ,b4 ,gardner4 #a4jj4 ,,how ,,to ,,keep ,a ,,store2 embodying the ,experience of ,thirty ,years1 in ,merchandizing4 ,by ,s4 ,h4 ,terry4 #a4ej4 ,,how ,,to ,,raise ,,fruit4--,a ,hand-book4 ,being a ,guide to the ,cultivation and ,management of ,fruit ,trees1 and of ,grapes and ,small ,fruits4 ,with ,descriptions of the ,best and ,most ,popular ,varieties4 ,illustrated4 ,by ,thomas ,gregg4 #a4jj4 ,,how ,,to ,,be ,,weather-,,wise4--,a new ,view of our ,weather ,system1 by ,i4 ,p4 ,noyes4 #be;c4 ,,how ,,to ,,live4--,saving and ,wasting2 or1 ,domestic ,economy ,illustrated by the ,life of two ,families of ,opposite ,character1 ,habits1 and ,practices1 ,useful ,lessons in ,housekeeping and ,hints ,how to ,live1 ,how to ,have1 and ,how to be ,happy including the ,story of ,a ,dime a ,day1 by ,solon ,robinson4 #a4jj4 ,,homes ,,for ,,all2 ,,or ,,the ,,gravel ,,wall4 ,a ,new ,cheap and ,superior ,mode of ,building1 adapted to ,rich and ,poor4 ,showing the ,superiority of the ,gravel ,concrete over ,brick1 ,stone and ,frame ,houses2 ,manner of ,making and ,depositing it4 ,by ,o4 ,s4 ,fowler4 #a4jj4 ,,the ,,model ,,potato4--,proper cultivation and mode of cooking4 #cj;c4 ,,three ,,visits ,,to ,,america1 by ,emily ,faithful4 #djj pages4 #a4ej4 ,a ,,new ,,theory ,,of ,,the ,,origin ,,of ,,species4 ,by ,benj4 ,g4 ,farris4 #a4ej4 ,,man ,,in ,,genesis ,,and ,,in ,,geology1 or1 the ,biblical ,account of ,man's ,creation tested by ,scientific ,theories of his ,origin and ,antiquity1 by ,j4 ,p4 ,thompson1 ,d4,d41 ,,ll4,d4 #a4jj