,a ,,dom9ie ,,9 ,,d\bt ,,by ,a4 ,s4 ,,neill1 ,m4,a4 ,,by ,,! ,,same ,,au?or ,a ,,dom9ie',s ,,log ,a ,,dom9ie ,,dismiss$ ,,! ,,boom+ ,,( ,,bunkie ,,h]b]t ,,j5k9s ,,limit$ #c ,,york ,,/reet ,,/4 ,,james',s ,,london ,s4,w4#a ,,mcmxxi ,,d$ication4 ,to ,hom] ,lane1 ^: fir/ lecture conv9c$ me t ,i knew no?+ ab\t education4 ,i owe mu* to him1 b ,i ha/5 to w>n educationi/s t !y mu/ n hold him responsible = ! views giv5 9 ^! pages4 ,i nev] und]/ood him fully en\gh to exp\nd 8 wond]ful educational !ories4 ,a4 ,s4 ,n4 ,,=f>1 ,,augu/ #ab1 #aibj4 ,a ,,dom9ie ,,9 ,,d\bt ,i4 ,j give me y\r c&id op9ion ( ,a ,dom9ie's ,log2 ,i'd l to he> x4 ,macdonald look$ up f digg+ into ! b[l ( 8 pipe ) a dilapidat$ p5knife4 ,he is n[ head-ma/] ( ,t>bonny ,public ,s*ool1 a s*ool ,i "k well1 = ,i taught 9 x = two ye>s z an ex-pupil tea*]4 ,six days ago he wrote ask+ me to come & sp5d a holiday ) him1 s ,i ha/ily pack$ my bag & made = ,eu/on4 ,?is ev5+ _h be5 a sort ( complim5t>y d9n] 9 my hon\r1 ! gue/s be+ neighb\r+ dom9ies & _! wives1 none ( :om ,i knew4 ,we _h talk$ ( ! w>1 ( ris+ prices1 & a ?\s& o!r ?+s4 ,sudd5ly someone m5tion$ education1 & ( c\rse my un=tunate ,log _h come "u discussion4 ,i _h be5 anxi\s to cont9ue my discussion ) a ,mrs4 ,br[n on ! subject ( ! relative lay+ values ( ,m9orcas & ,buff ,orp+tons1 b ,i _h be5 dragg$ to ! mis]able bus9ess 9 spite ( myself4 ,n[ !y 7 all gone1 & ,macdonald _h return$ to ! *>ge4 ,x's h>dly a fair "q1 said ,mrs4 ,macdonald1 to ask an au?or :at he ?9ks ( 8 own book4 ,no man c judge 8 own "w1 any m ?an a "m c judge h] own *ild4 ,t's true6 ,i said4 ,a man c't judge 8 own behavi\r1 & writ+ a book is an elem5t ( behavi\r4 ,besides1 !re is a bett] reason :y a writ] _c judge 8 own "w1 ,i add$4 ,because he nev] reads x8 qu]i$ ,macdonald ) a gr94 ,i %ook my head4 ,an au?or has no fur!r int]e/ 9 8 book aft] x is publi%$4 ,macdonald look$ across at me4 ,x 0 cle> t he d\bt$ my s]i\sness4 ,surely y don't mean to say t y h no int]e/ 9 ,a ,dom9ie's ,log8 ,none :atev]6 ,i said4 ,y mean x8 p]si/$ ,macdonald4 ,my de> ,mac1 ,i said1 an au?or d>e n read 8 own book4 ,d>e n6 ,:y8 ,because x's out ( date five m9utes aft] x's writt54 ,= fully a m9ute we smok$ 9 sil5ce4 ,macdonald appe>$ to be dige/+ my rem>k4 ,y see1 ,i cont9u$ pres5tly1 :5 ,i read a book on education1 ,i want to le>n1 & ,i c]ta9ly don't expect to le>n any?+ f ! man ,i 0 five ye>s ago4 ,i ?9k ,i und]/&1 said ,macdonald4 ,y h come to realise t :at y wrote five ye>s ago 0 wrong4 ,t x8 ,true = y1 ,mac4 ,y've j hit x4 ,y ne$n't h wait$ five ye>s to f9d t out1 he said1 ) a good-natur$ gr94 ,i c\ld h told y ! day ! book 0 publi%$--,i b\ght "o ( ! fir/ copies4 ,/ill1 he cont9u$1 ,i don't see :y a book %\ld be out-(-date 9 five ye>s4 ,t is if x deals ) ! tru?4 ,tru? is et]nal4 ,:at is tru?8 ,i ask$ we>ily4 ,we all ?\ght we knew ! tru? ab\t gravitation4 ,!n ,e9/e9 came along ) 8 relativity !ory1 & told u we 7 wrong4 ,did he8 inquir$ ,macdonald1 ) a fa9t smile4 ,i am quot+ f ! newspap]s1 ,i add$ ha/ily4 ,i hav5't ! remote/ idea :at relativity means4 ,p]haps x's ,ep/e9 ,i mean--no1 he's a sculptor4 ,y're h$g+6 said ,macdonald4 ,c y blame me8 ,i ask$4 ,y're try+ to get me to say :at tru? is4 ,i am n a pr(essor ( philosophy1 ,i'm a dom9ie4 ,all ,i c say is t ! ,log 0 ! tru? 4 4 4 = me 4 4 4 five ye>s ago2 b x isn't ! tru? = me n[4 ,!n1 :at exactly is y\r hone/ op9ion ( ! ,log z a "w on education8 ,z a "w on education1 ,i said delib]ately1 ! ,log isn't wor? a damn4 ,n a bad criticism1 ei!r1 said ,macdonald dryly4 ,i say t1 ,i cont9u$1 because :5 ,i wrote x ,i knew no?+ ab\t ! mo/ important factor 9 education--! psy*ology ( *ildr54 ,b1 said ,mrs4 ,macdonald 9 surprise--hi!rto %e _h be5 an int]e/$ li/5]--,i ?\ght t ! bits ab\t ! bairns 7 ! be/ "p ( ! book4 ,possibly1 ,i answ]$1 b ,i 0 look+ at *ildr5 f a gr[n-up po9t ( view4 ,i ?\ght ( !m z !y affect$ me1 in/ead ( z !y affect$ !mselves4 ,i'll give y an in/ance4 ,i ?9k ,i said some?+ ab\t want+ to *uck woodwork & cook]y out ( ! s*ool curriculum4 ,i 0 wrong1 hopelessly wrong4 ,i'm glad to he> y admit x1 said ,macdonald4 ,i h always ?\ght t e boy ought to be taught to m5d a h5-h\se & e girl to cook a d9n]4 ,!n ,i 0 "r aft] all1 ,i said quickly4 ,macdonald />$ at me1 :il/ 8 wife look$ up int]rogatively f h] embroid]y4 ,if y\r aim is to make boys jo9]s & girls cooks1 ,i expla9$1 !n ,i /ill hold t cook]y & woodwork ought to be *uck$ out ( ! s*ools4 ,b1 man1 :at are s*ools =8 ,i saw a combative light 9 ,macdonald's eye4 ,creation1 self-expression 4 4 4 4 ! only ?+ t matt]s 9 education4 ,i don't c>e :at a *ild is do+ 9 ! way ( creation1 :e!r he is mak+ tables1 or porridge1 or sket*es1 or--or-- ,sn[balls6 prompt$ ,macdonald4 ,or sn[balls1 ,i said4 ,!re is m true education 9 mak+ a sn[ball ?an 9 li/5+ to an h\r's lecture on gramm>4 ,mrs4 ,macdonald dropp$ h] embroid]y into h] lap1 ) a little gasp at ! h]esy ( my rem>k4 ,y're talk+ pure bald]da%6 said ,macdonald1 lean+ =w>d to knock ! a%es f 8 pipe on ! b>s ( ! grate4 ,v well1 ,i said *e]fully4 ,let's discuss x4 ,y make a class sit 9 front ( y = an h\r1 & y ?reat5 to :ack ! fir/ *ild t doesn't pay att5tion to y\r lesson on n\ns & pron\ns4 ,discipl9e1 said ,macdonald4 ,i don't c>e :at y call x4 ,i say x's /upidity4 ,b1 hang x all1 man1 y c't tea* if y hav5't got ! *ildr5's att5tion4 ,& y c't tea* :5 y h got x1 ,i said4 ,a *ild le>ns only :5 x is int]e/$4 ,b surely1 discipl9e makes !m int]e/$1 said ,mrs4 ,macdonald4 ,i %ook my head4 ,x only makes !m att5tive4 ,same ?+1 said ,macdonald4 ,no1 ,mac1 ,i repli$4 ,x is n ! same ?+4 ,att5tion means ! apply+ ( ! consci\s m9d to a ?+2 int]e/ means ! application ( bo? ! consci\s & ! unconsci\s m9d4 ,:5 y =ce a *ild to att5d to a lesson = fe> ( ! tawse1 y m]ely engage ! lea/ important "p ( 8 m9d--! consci\s4 ,:ile he />es at ! blackbo>d 8 unconsci\s is conc]n$ ) o!r ?+s4 ,:at sort ( ?+s8 ask$ ,macdonald4 ,v probably 8 unconsci\s is work+ out an elaborate plan to murd] y1 ,i said1 & ,i don't blame x ei!r1 ,i add$4 ,& ! sn[balls8 qu]i$ ,mrs4 ,macdonald4 ,:5 a boy makes a sn[ball1 he is int]e/$2 8 :ole s\l is 9 ! job1 t is1 8 unconsci\s & 8 consci\s are work+ toge!r4 ,= ! mom5t he is an arti/1 a creator4 ,s t's ! new education 4 4 4 mak+ sn[balls8 said ,macdonald4 ,x isn't really1 ,i said2 b :at ,i want to d is to po9t out t mak+ sn[balls is ne>] to true education ?an ! spoon-fe$+ we call education to-day4 99 99 99 99 99 ,duncan does n l me4 ,he is a "y dom9ie ( tw5ty-?ree or !reab\ts1 a fri5d ( ,macdonald1 & he has j be5 demobilis$4 ,he 0 a major1 & he does n seem to h recov]$ f ! exp]i5ce4 ,he has got :at ! vulg> call swell$ head4 ,la/ night he 0 dilat+ ^u ! del9qu5cies ( ! old retir$ tea*] :o ran ! s*ool :ile ,duncan 0 on active s]vice4 ,x seems t ! old man _h all[$ ! s*ool to run to se$4 ,w\ld y believe x1 ,i ov]he>d ,duncan say to ,macdonald1 :5 ,i came back ,i f\nd t ! boys & girls 7 play+ 9 ! same playgr\nd4 ,:y1 man1 "s ( !m 7 play+ on ! road6 ,& ! discipl9e6 ,awful6 ,poor *ildr56 ,i see x all2 ,i see ,duncan l9e !m up l a squad ( recruits1 & m>* !m into s*ool ) nev] a smile on _! faces or a ^w on _! lips4 ,macdonald tells me t he makes !m lift _! slates by numb]s4 ,& ! amus+ ?+ is t ,duncan ?9ks himself "o ( ! m advanc$ tea*]s4 ,he reads ! educational j\rnals1 & eag]ly dev\rs ! articles ab\t new me?ods 9 tea*+ ari?metic & geography4 ,8 s*ool is only a mile & a half away1 & ,i hope t he w come ov] to see ,mac a few times :ile ,i am "h4 ,i h se5 ! old type ( dom9ie1 & ,i h se5 ! new type4 ,i pref] ! =m]4 ,he _h _m faults1 b he usually manag$ to d some?+ = ! human side ( ! *ildr54 ,! new type is a dang] to *ildr54 ,! old dom9ie lea!r$ ! *ildr5 s t !y might make a good %[ be=e ! inspector2 ! new dom9ie lea!rs !m because he ?9ks t *ildr5 ought to be discipl9$ s t !y may be able to fight ! battle ( life4 ,he does n see t by us+ au?ority he is do+ ! v opposite ( :at he int5ds2 he is mak+ ! *ild dep5d5t on him1 & = ev] aft]w>ds ! *ild w lack initiative1 lack self-confid5ce1 lack orig9ality4 ,:at ! new dom9ie does d is to turn out excell5t wage-slaves4 ,! discipl9e ( ! s*ool gives ea* *ild an inn] s5se ( inf]iority 4 4 4 4 :at ! psy*o-analy/s call an inf]iority complex4 ,& ! work+-classes are suff]+ f a gigantic inf]iority complex 4 4 4 4 o!rwise !y w\ld n be cont5t to rema9 wage-slaves4 ,! fe> t ,duncan inspires 9 a boy w rema9 9 t boy all 8 life4 ,:5 he ent]s ! work%op he w unconsci\sly id5tify ! =eman ) ,duncan1 & fe> him & hate him4 ,i believe t _m a /rike is really a vague insurrection aga9/ ! tea*]4 ,= x is well kn[n t ! unconsci\s m9d is infantile4 99 99 99 99 99 ,to-night ,i dropp$ 9 to see my old fri5d ,dauvit ,todd ! cobbl]4 ,_m an ev5+ h ,i sp5t 9 8 dirty %op4 ,dauvit works on aft] teatime1 & ! village wor?ies ga!r r\nd 8 fire & smoke & spit & grunt4 ,i h sat !re = an h\r _m a night1 & n a s+le ^w 0 said4 ,pet] ,smi? ! blacksmi? w\ld give a great sigh & say3 ,imphm6 ,!re w\ld be sil5ce = t5 m9utes1 & !n ,jake ,to% ! roadman w\ld />e at ! fire1 %ake 8 head1 & say3 ,aye1 man6 ,!n a pl\ghman w\ld smack 8 lips & say3 ,man1 aye6 ,a s\!rn] look+ 9 might h jump$ to ! conclusion t ! assembly 0 collectively & individually bor$1 b bor$om nev] ent]s ,dauvit's %op4 ,we ,scots ?9k bett] 9 cr[ds4 ,to-night ! old gang 0 !re4 ,! hypo!tical s\!rn] aga9 w\ld h m>vell$ at ! reception ,i receiv$4 ,i walk$ into ! %op aft] an abs5ce ( five ye>s4 ,weel1 ,dauvit1 ,i said1 & sat d[n 9 ! basket *air4 ,dauvit & ,i h nev] %ak5 h&s 9 our lives4 ,he look$ up4 ,back aga96 he said1 )\t any evid5t surprise2 !n he add$3 ,& :at l a ni*t is 't ootside8 ,gradually o!r m5 dropp$ 91 & ! same sort ( greet+ took place4 ,! wea!r cont9u$ to be discuss$ = a "t4 ,!n ! blacksmi? said3 ,auld ,t>n ,davidson's sw9e dee'd la/ ni*t4 ,dauvit look$ up f ! boot he 0 repair+4 ,:at did x dee o'8 & !re foll[$ an argum5t ab\t ! symptoms ( sw9e fev]4 ,an ,engli% read] ( ,! ,h\se ) ! ,gre5 ,%utt]s w\ld h conclud$ t ^! villag]s 7 delib]ately try+ to put me 9 my place4 ,by ignor+ me might !y n be %[+ _! contempt = dom9ies :o h j come f ,london8 ,n !y4 ,!y 7 glad to see me aga91 & _! me?od ( %[+ _! gladness 0 to take up our fri5d%ip at ! po9t :]e x left (f five ye>s ago4 ,! only "t a ,scot di/ru/s o!r ,scots is :5 !y fuss ov] him4 ,! /ory goes 9 ,t>bonny t :5 "y ,jim ,lunan came home unexpect$ly aft] a t5 ye>s' f>m+ 9 ,canada1 8 "m 0 wa%+ ! kit*5 floor4 ,"m6 he cri$1 ,i've come hame6 ,%e look$ ov] h] %\ld]4 ,wipe y] feet a=e ye come 91 ye clorty laddie1 %e said4 ,b !re is a g>rul\s type ( ,scot 4 4 4 or r ! type ( ,scot t tries to make ! o!r fell[ g>rul\s4 ,9 our c\nty we call !m ! spe]9' bodie4 ,to spe] means to ask que/ions4 ,! spe]9' bodie is common en\gh 9 ,fife1 & ,i suppose x 0 a ,fif] :o ent]$ a railway comp>tm5t "o morn+ & sat d[n to /udy ! only o!r occupant--an ,engli%man4 ,x's a f9e day1 said ! ,scot1 & !re 0 a "q 9 8 tone4 ,! ,engli%man sigh$ & laid aside 8 newspap]4 ,aye1 me/]1 cont9u$ ! inquisitive ,fif]1 & ye'll be---- ,! ,engli%man held up a =bidd+ h&4 ,y ne$n't g on1 he said2 ,i'll tell y ev]y?+ ab\t myself4 ,i 0 born 9 ,le$s1 ! son ( poor p>5ts4 ,i left s*ool at ! age ( twelve1 & ,i became a drap]4 ,i gradually work$ my way up1 & n[ ,i am travell] = a ,man*e/] firm4 ,i m>ri$ six ye>s ago4 ,?ree kids4 ,wife has rheumatism4 ,willie _h measles la/ mon?4 ,i h a sev5 room cottage2 r5t #bg4 ,i vote ,tory2 g to ! ,bapti/ *ur*1 & keep h5s4 ,any?+ else y want to "k8 ,! ,scot _h a v dissatisfi$ look4 ,:at did y] gr&fai!r dee o'8 he dem&$ gruffly4 ,:5 ! argum5t ab\t sw9e fev] _h di$ d[n1 ,dauvit turn$ to me4 ,aye1 & h[ is ,lunnon look9'8 ,same z ev]1 ,i answ]$4 ,ye'll h to tak' ,dauvit doon on a trip1 laugh$ ! smi?4 ,dauvit drove 9 a tacket4 ,man1 smi?1 ,i 0 9 ,lunnon a=e y 0 born1 he said4 ,g on1 ,dauvit1 ,i said enc\rag+ly1 tell u ! /ory4 ,i _h he>d x be=e1 b ,i long$ to he> x aga94 ,dauvit bright5$ up4 ,!re's no muckle to tell1 he said1 z he toss$ ! boot into a corn] & wip$ 8 face ) 8 apron4 ,x'll be t5 ye>s come ,m>timas4 ,me & ,w ,tamson ga$ up by boat frae ,dundee4 ,oh6 we _h a graund "t4 ,b !re's no muckle to tell4 ,:at ab\t ,dave ,br[nlee8 ,i ask$4 ,dauvit *uckl$ s(tly4 ,b ye've a' he>d ! /ory1 he said1 b we prote/$ t we hadn't4 ,aweel1 he began1 "s ( y w no d\bt m9d o' ,dave ,broonlee him t /oppit at ,mill5d4 ,dave s]v$ 8 "t z a drap]1 & syne he got a good job 9 a ,lunnon %op4 ,weel1 me & ,w ,tamson 0 walk9' along ! ,/r& :5 ,w he says to me1 says he3 ',cud we no pay a veesit to ,dave ,broonlee8' ,!n ,i m9d$ t ,dave's fa!r _h said some?+ aboot pay9' him a call1 b ,i didna k5 8 address4 ,all ,i k5t 0 t he 0 9 a big %op 9 ,ox=d ,/reet4 ,weel1 ,w & me we goes up to a bobby & spe]s ! way to ,ox=d ,/reet4 ,:5 we got !re ,w he goes up to ano!r bobby & says3 ',please cud ye tell me :atna %op ,dave ,broonlee works intil8' ,at t ,i />t$ to laugh1 & syne ! bobby he />t$ to laugh4 ,he laugh$ a lang "t & syne :5 ,i telt him t x 0 a drap]'s %op he direct$ u to a great big muckle %op wi' a ?\s& w9d[s4 ',try !re fir/1' says ! bobby4 ,weel1 9 we goes1 & a mannie 9 a tail coat he comes =>t rubb9' 8 h&s4 ',& :at c ,i d = y1 sir8' he says to ,w4 ',oh1' says ,w1 'we want to see ,dave ,broonlee1' b ! man didna k5 :at ,w 0 say9'4 ,x took ,w & me tw5ty me5utes to get him to ond]/&4 ',oh1' says he1 ',i und]/& n[4 ,y want to see ,mr4 ,br[nlee8' ',ye're fell quick 9 ! uptak1' says ,w1 b ( coorse ! man didna k5 :at he 0 say9'4 ,he w5t to ! back%op to spe] aboot ,dave1 & :5 he cam back he says1 says he3 ',i'm sorry1 b ,mr4 ,br[nlee has gone out to lun*4 ,w y leave a message8' ,w turn$ to ! door4 ',nev] m9d1' says he1 'we'll see him doon ! toon4' 99 99 99 99 99 ,9 read+ my ,log ,i am appall$ by ! am\nt ( lectur+ ,i did 9 s*ool4 ,s9ce writ+ x ,i h visit$ mo/ ( ! be/ s*ools 9 ,engl&1 & ,i f\nd t ,i 0 n ! only tea*] :o lectur$4 ,b we are all wrong4 ,i fancy t ! real reason :y ,i lectur$ s mu* 0 to indulge my %[+-(f prop5sities4 ,to /& be=e a class or an audi5ce2 to be ! cynosure ( all eyes2 to h a cr[d hang+ on y\r words 4 4 4 4 all %[+ (f6 ,v1 v human1 b 4 4 4 4 bad = ! audi5ce4 ,:5 a tea*] lectures he is unconsci\sly giv+ expression to 8 desire to ga9 a feel+ ( sup]iority4 ,t1 ,i fancy1 is ! deepe/ wi% ( e "o ( u 4 4 4 4 to impress o!rs1 to be sup]ior4 ,y see x 9 ! smalle/ *ild4 ,give him an audi5ce1 & he w %[ (f = h\rs4 ,! boy at ! top ( ! class ga9s 8 feel+ ( sup]iority by beat+ ! o!rs at ari?metic1 :ile ! dunce at ! bottom ( ! class ga9s 8 9 m orig9al ways 4 4 4 pun*+ ! top boy at playtime1 scor+ goals at football1 spitt+ f>!r ?an anyone else 9 s*ool4 ,i h se5 a boy sma% a w9d[ m]ely to draw att5tion to himself1 & ?us to ga9 a mom5t>y feel+ ( sup]iority4 ,& we gr[n-ups are boys at he>t4 ,! boy is ! fa!r to ! man4 ,take1 = in/ance1 a *ildi% trait--exhibitionism4 ,mo/ *ildr5 at an e>ly age love to run ab\t nak$1 to %[ (f _! bodies4 ,lat] ! conv5tions ( society make ! *ild repress ?is wi% to exhibit himself4 ,b we "k t a repress$ wi% does n die2 x m]ely buries itself 9 ! unconsci\s4 ,_m ye>s lat] ! exhibition impulse comes out 9 sublimat$ =m z a desire to %[ (f be=e ! public 4 4 4 h5ce our politicians1 actors1 actresses1 /reet-corn] revivali/s1 &--er--dom9ies4 ,n[ ,i ha/5 to add t !re is no?+ to be a%am$ ( 9 be+ a politician or a dom9ie4 ,b if ,i lecture a class ,i am mak+ ! affair my %[1 & ,i am n ! mo/ important actor 9 ! play2 ,i am ! sc5e-%ift]2 ! real actors :o %\ld be declaim+ _! l9es are sitt+ on h>d b5*es />+ at me & wond]+ :at ,i am rav+ ab\t4 ,ea* little p]son is ?ir/+ to %[ 8 or h] sup]iority1 & he nev] gets ! *ance4 ,occasionally ,i may ask a sleepy-look+ ur*9 :at are ! exports to ,canada1 & he may ga9 a slight feel+ ( sup]iority if he c tell ! "r answ]4 ,yet ,i fancy t 8 unconsci\s self despises me & my "q4 ,:y 9 all ! e>? %\ld ,i ask a "q :5 ,i "k ! answ]8 ,! :ole ?+ is an absurdity4 ,! only que/ions ask$ 9 a s*ool %\ld be ask$ by ! pupils4 ,! tru? is t our s*ools d n give education2 !y give in/ruction4 ,& x is s v easy to in/ruct1 & s v easy to g on talk+1 & s v easy to :ack ,tommy :5 he does n li/54 ,our prosy lectures are wa/$ "t4 ,! *ildr5 w\ld be bett] employ$ play+ m>bles4 ,( c\rse if a *ild asks = in=mation t is a diff]5t /ory4 ,he is obvi\sly int]e/$ 4 4 4 t is if he isn't try+ to tempt y into a long explanation s t y w =get to he> 8 ,lat9 v]bs4 ,*ildr5 soon und]/& our little vanities1 & !y soon le>n to exploit !m4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i _h a sc5e 9 s*ool to-day1 rem>k$ ,mac :ile we 7 at tea to-night4 ,:at happ5$8 ,i ask$4 ,tom ,murray 0 wrong 9 all 8 sums1 & he w\ldn't hold out 8 h&1 & by ,mac's grim smile ,i knew t ! bold ,tom _h be5 conqu]$4 ,:at w\ld y h done 9 a case l t8 ask$ ,mac4 ,i w\ld nev] h a case l t1 ,mac4 ,if he _h all 8 sums wrong ,i %\ld sit d[n & ask myself :at 0 wrong ) my tea*+4 ,i didn't mean t1 he said2 :at ,i meant 03 :at w\ld y d if ,tom defi$ y8 ,t w\ldn't happ5 ei!r1 ,mac4 ,tom c\ldn't defy me because y c only defy an au?ority1 & ,i'm n an au?ority4 ,mac %ook 8 head4 ,y won't conv9ce me1 old *ap4 ,a boy l ,tom has to be dealt ) ) a firm h&4 ,i /udi$ 8 face = a "t4 ,y "k1 ,mac1 ,i said1 y puzzle me4 ,y're "o ( ! k9de/ dec5te/ *aps 9 ! _w1 & yet y g lea!r+ poor ,tom ,murray4 ,:y d y d x8 ,y mu/ keep discipl9e1 he said4 ,i %ook my head4 ,mac1 if y knew y\rself y w\ldn't ev] :ack a *ild4 ,?is seem$ to tickle him4 ,good ,"l6 he laugh$1 ,i c\ld write a book ab\t myself6 ,i'm "o ( ! mo/ introspective *aps ev] born4 ,& y und]/& y\rself8 ,i h no illusions ab\t myself at all1 old *ap4 ,i "k my limitations4 ,well1 w\ld y m9d tell+ me :y y are a bit ( a nut8 ,i ask$4 ,x isn't usual = a c\ntry dom9ie to we> a w+ coll>1 a b[ tie1 & %ot-silk socks4 ,t's easy1 he said quickly4 ,i ?9k t tea*]s hav5't ! social /&+ !y ought to h1 & ,i dress well to uphold ! dignity ( ! pr(ession4 ,don't y believe me8 he dem&$ z ,i smil$4 ,q6 ,i believe y're q hone/ 9 y\r belief1 b x's wrong y "k4 ,!re mu/ be a mu* m p]sonal reason ?an t4 ,rot6 he said4 ,anyway1 :at is ! reason8 ,i don't "k1 ,mac2 x w\ld take mon?s ( rese>* to discov] x4 ,i c't expla9 y\r psy*ology1 b ,i'll tell y some?+ ab\t my own4 ,^! swagg] corduroys ,i'm we>+ 4 4 4 :5 ,i b\ght !m someone ask$ me :y ,i *ose corduroy1 & ,i at once answ]$3 ',economy6 ,!y'll la/ t5 ye>s6' ,b t wasn't ! real reason1 ,i b\ght !m because ,i want$ to h folk />e at me4 ,i've got an inf]iority complex1 t is an inn] feel+ ( inf]iority4 ,to comp5sate = x ,i g & ord] a suit t w make p look at me2 9 %ort1 t ,i may be ! c5tre ( all eyes1 & ?us ga9 a feel+ ( outw>d sup]iority4 ,?is s5t ,mac (f into a ro> ( laught]4 ,y're daft1 man6 he ro>$4 ,aft] a m9ute or two he said2 ,b :at has all ?is to d ) ,tom ,murray8 ,a lot1 ,i said s]i\sly4 ,y ?9k y :ack ,tom because y mu/ h discipl9e1 b y :ack him = a diff]5t reason4 ,9 y\r deep unconsci\s m9d y are an infant4 ,y want to %[ y\r self-ass]tion j z a kid does4 ,y lea!r ,tom because y've nev] outgr[n y\r sev5-ye>-old /age4 ,on m>ket-day1 :5 ,tom walks beh9d a drove & :acks ! /ots ov] ! hips ) a /ick1 he is do+ exactly :at y did ?is aft]noon4 ,y are bo? infants4 ,i h _h to give up lectur+ ,mac1 = he always takes me z a huge joke4 ,he is a good fell[1 b he has ! wond]ful gift ( be+ bl9d to any?+ t might make him reconsid] 8 values4 ,_m p protect !mselves 9 ! same way--by laugh+4 ,i h m ?an once se5 an alcoholic laugh he>tily at 8 wreck$ home & lo/ job4 ,,ii4 ,:at an am\nt ( excell5t mat]ial ,mac & 8 k9d are spoil+4 ,tom ,murray is a f9e lad1 full ( en]gy & initiative1 b he has to sit passive at a desk do+ "w t does n int]e/ him4 ,8 creative faculties h no outlet at all dur+ ! day1 & naturally :5 free f au?ority at nights he expresses 8 creative int]e/ anti-socially4 ,he ne>ly wreck$ ! five-tw5ty ! o!r night2 he ti$ a huge iron bolt to ! rails4 ,mac call$ x devilm5t1 b x 0 m]ely curiosity4 ,he _h _h innum]able p9s & f>?+s flatt5$ on ! l9e1 & he want$ to see :at ! eng9e really c\ld d4 ,!re is devilm5t 9 "s ( ,tom's activities1 = example 9 8 delib]ate de/ruction ( ,dauvit's apple tree4 ,mac & ! law w\ld give him ! bir* = t1 b =tunately ,mac & ! law don't "k :o did x4 ,tom's de/ructiv5ess is only ! direct result ( ,mac's au?ority4 ,suppression always has ! same result2 x turns a "y god into a "y devil4 ,_h ,i ,tom 9 a free s*ool all 8 activities w\ld be social & good4 ,& yet ne>ly e tea*] believes 9 ,mac's way4 ,!y suppress all ! "t1 & :at is wor/ ( all !y firmly believe !y are do+ ! be/ ?+4 ,look at ,glasg[6 cri$ ,mac ! o!r night :5 ,i 0 talk+ ab\t ! crime ( au?ority4 ,look at ,glasg[6 ,:at happ5$ !re dur+ ! w>8 ,juv5ile crime increas$4 ,& :y8 ,because ! fa!rs 7 9 ! army & ! boys _h no control ov] !m2 !y broke loose4 ,t proves t y\r !ories are potty4 ,i believe t juv5ile crime did increase dur+ ! w>1 & ,i believe t ,mac's explanation ( ! ph5om5on is correct4 ,! abs5ce ( ! fa!r gave ! boy lib]ty to be a hooligan4 ,b no boy wants to be a hooligan unless he has a /rong rebellion aga9/ au?ority4 ,no boy is de/ructive if he is free to be con/ructive4 ,i ?9k t ! diff]5ce betwe5 ,mac & myself is ?is3 he believes 9 orig9al s91 :ile ,i believe 9 orig9al virtue4 ,i wond] :y x is s difficult to conv]t ! au?ority p to ! new way ( ?9k+4 ,!re mu/ be a deep reason :y !y want to cl+ to _! au?ority4 ,au?ority gives mu* p[]1 & love ( p[] may be at ! root ( ! desire to reta9 au?ority4 ,yet ,i fancy t x is deep] ?an t4 ,9 ,mac1 = in/ance1 ,i ?9k t 8 quickness 9 becom+ angry at ,tom's insubord9ation is due to ! insubord9ation )9 himself4 ,l mo/ ( u ,mac has a fa!r complex1 & he fe>s & hates any au?ority ex]cis$ ov] himself4 ,s 9 squa%+ ,tom's rebellion he is unconsci\sly squa%+ ! rebellion 9 8 own s\l4 ,tom's rebellion c\ld n affect me because ,i h got rid ( my fa!r complex1 & 8 rebellion w\ld t\* no?+ 9 me4 ,au?ority w be long 9 dy+1 = too _m p cl+ to x z a prop4 ,mo/ p l to h _! m9ds made up = !m2 x is s easy to obey ord]s1 & s difficult to live y\r own life c>ry+ y\r own burd5 & f9d+ y\r own pa?4 ,to live y\r own life 4 4 4 t is ! ideal4 ,to discov] y\rself bravely1 to realise y\rself fully1 to foll[ tru? ev5 if ! cr[d /one y4 ,t is liv+ 4 4 4 b x is dang]\s liv+1 = t way lies crucifixion4 ,no "o 9 au?ority has ev] be5 crucifi$2 e m>tyr dies because he *all5ges au?ority4 4 4 ,*ri/1 ,?omas ,m1 ,jim ,connolly4 99 99 99 99 99 ,duncan & ,mc,taggart ! m9i/] 7 9 to-night1 & we got on to ! subject ( wit & hum\r4 ,hav+ a psy*o-analysis complex ,i m5tion$ ! !ory t we laugh s z to give release to our repressions4 ,! o!rs %ook _! heads1 & ,i decid$ to te/ my !ory on !m4 ,i told !m ! /ory ( ! golf] :o 0 driv+ (f ab\t a foot 9 front ( ! tee+ m>ks4 ,! club secret>y happ5$ to come along4 ,"h1 my man6 cri$ ! indignant secret>y1 y're disqualifi$6 ,:at =8 dem&$ ! play]4 ,y're driv+ (f 9 front ( ! tee+ m>k4 ,! play] look$ at him pity+ly4 ,away1 y ble!r9' idiot6 he said t5sely1 ,i'm play+ my ?ird6 ,n[1 ,i said to ! o!rs1 ,i'm go+ to tell y "o by "o :at y\r golf is l4 ,y1 ,mc,taggart1 are a scrat* man or a plus man4 ,is t s8 ,plus "o1 he said 9 surprise4 ,h[ did y guess8 ,i didn't guess1 ,i said ) great sup]iority4 ,i f\nd out by pure sci5ce4 ,y didn't laugh at my joke2 y m]ely smil$4 ,t %[s t bad golf doesn't t\* any complex inside y4 ,! man :o takes ?ree /rokes to make "o foot ( gr\nd means no?+ to y because1 z ,i say1 !re's no?+ 9 y\rself x t\*es4 ,wond]ful6 cri$ ! m9i/]4 ,x's q simple1 ,i cr[$1 & n[ = ,mac6 ,y1 ,mac1 are a rott5 play]2 y take sixte5 to a hole4 ,only t51 prote/$ ,mac ha/ily4 ,h[ ! devil did y "k8 ,i've nev] play$ ) y4 ,d$uction1 my boy4 ,y ro>$ at my joke1 because x t\*$ y\r bad golf complex4 ,9 fact y 7 really laugh+ at y\rself & y\r own awful golf4 ,:at ab\t me8 put 9 ,duncan4 ,n[ !re 0 some?+ 9 ,duncan's eye t %\ld h w>n$ me ( dang]1 b ,i 0 s pr\d ( my success t ,i plung$ confid5tly4 ,oh1 y don't play golf1 ,i said airily4 ,wrong6 he cri$1 ,i d6 ,& ,i'm worse ?an ,mac too6 ,i 0 a/\nd$4 ,impossible6 ,i cri$4 ,y nev] laugh$ at my /ory at all2 t is x t\*$ no?+ :atsoev] inside y4 ,duncan %ook 8 head4 ,y're completely wrong ?is "t4 ,well1 :y didn't y laugh8 ,i ask$4 ,he gr9n$4 ,i dunno4 ,possibly x is because ,i fir/ he>d t joke 9 my cradle4 99 99 99 99 99 ,mac's infant mi/ress 0 (f duty to-day ow+ to an attack ( influ5za1 & he gladly accept$ my (f] to take h] place4 ,half-an-h\r aft] my entry into ! room ,mac came 9 to see h[ ,i 0 gett+ on4 ,mo/ ( ! infants 7 sw>m+ ov] me1 & ,mac fr[n$4 ,at 8 fr[n !y all crept back sil5tly to _! seats4 ,y seem to h ! fatal gift ( demoralis+ *ildr51 he gr[l$4 ,x hadn't /ruck me be=e1 b x is a fact2 ,i d demoralise *ildr54 ,n long ago ,i ent]$ a ,montessori s*ool1 & ,i spoke n "o ^w4 ,9 five m9utes ! insets & long /airs 7 ly+ neglect$ 9 ! middle ( ! floor1 & ! kiddies 7 scrambl+ ov] me4 ,i felt v guilty = ,i fe>$ t if ,montessori h]self 7 to walk 9 %e w\ld be indignant4 ,i _c expla9 :y ,i affect kiddies 9 ?is way4 ,x may be t intuitively !y "k t ,i d n inspire fe> or respect2 x may be t !y unconsci\sly recognise ! baby 9 me4 ,anyway1 z ,mac says1 x is a fatal gift4 ,i ?9k ,miss ,m>t9 ! infant mi/ress is a good tea*]4 ,h] infants d n fe> h]1 & ,i am sure !y love h]4 ,! only p]son !y fe> is ,mac1 poor de> old ,mac1 ! mo/ lovable s\l 9 ! _w4 ,he tries h>d to %[ 8 love = ! infants b someh[ !y "k t beh9d 8 smile is ! grim head-ma/] :o lea!rs ,tom ,murray4 ,i s5t wee ,m>y ,smi? into ,mac's room to fet* "s *alk to-day1 & %e wept & fe>$ to ent]4 ,occasionally1 ,i believe1 ,mac w ent] ! room1 seize a wee mite :o is speak+ in/ead ( work+1 & give him or h] a scud ) ! tawse4 ,i wond] h[ a good s\l l ,mac c d x4 ,i h an unlovely /ory ( a bo>d s*ool4 ,an infant mi/ress lay dy+1 & 9 h] delirium %e cri$ 9 t]ror le/ h] head-ma/] %\ld come 9 aga9 & /rap h] de>1 wee infants4 ,x is a true /ory1 & x is ! mo/ damn+ indictm5t ( bo>d s*ool education anyone c\ld wi% =4 ,%e 0 a good woman :o lov$ *ildr51 & if fe> ( h] head-ma/] br\ght t]ror to h] on h] dea?b$1 :at t]rors are su* m5 inspir+ 9 poor wee infants8 ,! m5 :o beat *ildr5 are exactly 9 ! position ( ! m5 :o /on$ ,jesus ,*ri/2 !y "k n :at !y d1 nor d !y "k :y !y d x4 99 99 99 99 99 ,!re 0 a /rang] 9 ,dauvit's %op :5 ,i ent]$ to-day1 a se$y-look+ :isk]$ man ) a ?readb>e coat & extremely dirty l954 ,%abby g5teel w\ld be ! ,scots description ( him4 ,dauvit ask$ me a casual "q ab\t ,london1 & ! /rang] became int]e/$ at once4 ,ah1 he said1 y're f ,london1 are ye8 ,man1 yon's a great place1 a wond]ful place6 ,i nodd$ ass5t4 ,man1 he cont9u$1 yon's ! place = si*ts6 ,c\ld any?+ beat ! procession at ! ,"l ,mayor's %[1 eh8 ,i meekly admitt$ t ,i _h nev] se5 ! ,"l ,mayor's %[1 & he rais$ 8 eyebr[s 9 surprise4 ,b ,i'll tell ye :at's j z good1 mi/]1 & t's ! ,k+ & ,que5 op5+ ,p>liam5t4 ,man1 yon's a si*t1 isn't x8 ,i--er--,i hav5't _h ! opportunity ( see+ x1 ,i said4 ,he look$ m surpris$ ?an ev]4 ,b1 man1 ,i'll tell ye :at's j z good1 & t's a big ,london fire4 ,man1 to see ! way ! firem5 g up ! ladd]s l monkeys4 ,yon's a si*t = sair e56 ,i nev] _h ! luck to see a fire 9 ,london1 ,i said hesitat+ly4 ,:5 7 y la/ 9 t[n8 ,he did n seem to he> my "q2 he 0 evid5tly ?9k+ ( o!r ,london ?rills4 ,man1 he said rum9at+ly1 (t5 :ile ,i sit 9 ! ,t>bonny ,kirk ,i j sit & ?9k aboot ,we/m9/] ,abbey4 ,man1 yon's a kirk6 ,i suppose y'll be !re ilka ,sunday8 ,i f\nd x difficult to tell him t ,i _h nev] be5 9 ! ,abbey1 b ,i manag$ to get ! words out1 & !n ,i avoid$ 8 reproa*ful eye4 ,he knock$ out 8 pipe1 & ,i took ! action to be a symbolic "o mean+3 ,y are an empty sort ( p]son4 ,he /udi$ me critically = a "t1 !n he bright5$4 ,aye1 he said *e]fully1 ,london's a graund place1 b1 = si*ts give me ,new ,york4 ,i felt m humble ?an ev]1 = ,i _h nev] travell$4 ,he seem$ to guess t by ! look ( me1 = he nev] ask$ my op9ion ( ,new ,york4 ,man1 he said w>mly1 yon's a place6 ,yon skyscrap]s6 ,phew6 & he :i/l$ 8 wond] & admiration4 ,& ! /reets6 ,man1 ye canna walk on ! sidewalk at ! busy times4 ,a wond]fu' place1 ,new ,york1 b1 z = me1 give me ! ,we/1 ,cali=nia & ,frisco4 ,y h travell$ mu*1 sir1 ,i said rev]5tly4 ,! sir seem$ to come naturally2 my inf]iority complex 0 t\*$ on ! raw4 ,aga9 he ignor$ me4 ,to see yon c[boys6 ,man1 yon's :at ,i call rid+6 ,& ! ,indians6 ,he sigh$2 x 0 obvi\s t he 0 liv+ ov] aga9 8 life 9 ! we/]n wilds4 ,a wi/ful look crept into 8 eyes1 & ,i began to con/ruct 8 sad /ory4 ,he lov$ a maid1 b ! bruis] ( ! camp lov$ h] also 4 4 4 h5ce ! brok5-d[n clo!s1 ! dirty coll>4 ,b anon he *e]$ up aga94 ,yes1 he said1 ,i love ! ,we/1 b = col\r & climate give me ,japan4 ,i 0 s confus$ n[ t ,i _h to bl[ out my pipe vigor\sly4 ,i glanc$ at ,dauvit1 b he 0 %>p5+ 8 knife on ! em]y hone1 & did n appe> to be int]e/$4 ,i felt a vague ang] aga9/ ,dauvit2 :y wasn't he help+ me 9 my trial8 ,japan1 cont9u$ ! irrepressible /rang]1 is "o ( ! f9e/ c\ntries 9 ! _w1 b1 = climate give me ,sib]ia4 ,i ha/ily ?\ght to myself t if ,i 7 ,l59 ,i 4 4 4 b ,i did n foll[ out my daydream1 = ! /rang] br\ght me back to e>? by inquir+ :at 0 my hone/ & unbiass$ op9ion ( ! ,p]uvians4 ,i v clev]ly pret5d$ t ,i _h swall[$ "s nicot9e1 &1 aft] a polite pause = my answ]1 he w5t (f to ! subject ( pe>l fi%+ at ,?ursday ,isl&4 ,!n he look$ at ,dauvit's clock4 ,j]usalem6 he gasp$1 ! pub %uts at twa o'clock6 & he ru%$ out ( ! %op4 ,i heav$ a great sigh ( relief1 & !n ,i heav$ a great] sigh ( relief4 ,i seiz$ ,dauvit by ! arm4 ,dauvit1 ,i gasp$1 :o--:o is y\r cosmopolitan fri5d8 ,my :at k9d o' a fri5d8 ,y\r _w-travell$ fri5d1 ,dauvit4 ,tell me :o he is4 ,dauvit laugh$ s(tly4 ,t1 he said1 0 ,joe ,mill4 ,he bides wi' 8 old "m 9 t cottage at ! foot o' ! brae4 ,to ! be/ o' my k he hasna be5 fur!r ?an ,p]? 9 8 life4 ,b6 ,i cri$ 9 amazem5t1 he has be5 ev]y:]e6 ,he hasna1 said ,dauvit %ortly1 b he works ! c9ema lant]n at ! ,f>f> pict] hoose4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i _h a long talk to-night ) ,macdonald ab\t self-gov]nm5t 9 s*ools1 & ,i told him ( my plans = runn+ a self-gov]n+ s*ool 9 ,highgate4 ,at ! end ( ! discussion ,i _h ! bigge/ surprise ( my life4 ,mac smok$ = a long "t 9 sil5ce1 !n he turn$ to me sudd5ly4 ,look "h1 old *ap1 ,i'll h a %ot at introduc+ self-gov]nm5t to-morr[1 he said ) en?usiasm4 ,i grasp$ 8 h&4 ,excell5t6 ,mac1 y're a wond]6 ,y're a brave man6 ,i don't feel brave1 he said n]v\sly4 ,x's go+ to be a v difficult job4 ,x is1 ,i said grimly1 & ! mo/ difficult "p is = y to keep out ( x4 ,:at d y mean8 ,i mean t y h be5 an au?ority = s long t y'll f9d y\rself issu+ ord]s un?9k+ly4 ,m ?an t ! kiddies are s mu* dep5d5t on y t !y w wait to see h[ y vote4 ,:at's ! be/ way to beg9 x8 he ask$4 ,simply walk 9 to-morr[ & say3 ',look "h1 y are go+ to gov]n y\rselves4 ,i h no p[]2 ,i won't ord] anyone to d any?+2 ,i won't puni% anyone4 ,n[1 d :at y l'4 ,mac look$ fright5$4 ,b1 good ,"l1 man1 !y'll--!y'll wreck ! s*ool6 ,funk6 ,i laugh$4 ,8 eyes 7 full ( excitem5t4 ,x'll be an awful job to keep my h&s (f !m1 he said half to himself4 ,funk6 ,i said aga94 ,x's all v well1 b 4 4 4 well1 ,i'm r /rict y "k4 ,s mu* ! bett]6 ,all ! bett] a r[6 ,y ,bol%evi/6 he laugh$4 ,he 0 l a boy divid$ betwe5 two desires--to /eal ! apples & to escape ! policeman4 ,i half fe>$ t 8 c\rage w\ld des]t him4 ,"h1 he said1 :y n come ov] to s*ool8 ,! temptation 0 great & ,i wav]$4 ,no1 ,i said at la/1 ,i c't d x4 ,my pres5ce w\ld di/ract ! *ildr51 & 4 4 4 !y won't sma% all ! w9d[s 9 front ( a /rang]4 ,y want my support1 y dodg]6 ,b ,i w\ld give t5 p\nds to be 9 ,mac's s*oolroom to-morr[ morn+4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i w5t out ?is morn+ & sat on ! s*ool wall & smok$ my pipe4 ,i /ra9$ my e>s = ! fir/ murmur ( ! approa*+ /orm4 ,n a s\nd came f ! s*oolroom4 ,mac has funk$ x aft] all1 ,i groan$1 & w5t 9 to help ,mrs4 ,macdonald to p>e ! potatoes4 ,:5 ,mac came ov] at d9n]-"t 8 face wore a ?\ghtful look4 ,y c[>d6 ,i cri$4 ,c[>d6 he laugh$4 ,:y1 man1 ! s*eme is 9 full sw+6 ,!n ,i ask$ him to tell me all ab\t x4 ,y\r k ( *ildr5 is all bunkum1 he began4 ,y said !re w\ld be a r[ :5 ,i ann\nc$ t ,i gave up au?ority4 ,& wasn't !re8 ,n a ve/ige ( "o4 ,! kids />$ at me ) op5 m\?1 & 4 4 4 ,& :at8 ,oh1 !y simply got out _! books & began _! read+ lesson4 ,z quiet z mice too4 ,& d y mean to tell me t x made no diff]5ce8 ,i ask$4 ,none :atev]4 ,i tell y !y j w5t on ) ! timetable z usual4 ,b didn't !y talk to ea* o!r m8 ,!re wasn't a :isp]4 ,i consid]$ = a m9ute4 ,:at exactly did y say to !m :5 y ann\nc$ t !y 7 to h self-gov]nm5t8 ,i j said :at y told me la/ night4 ,did y add any?+8 ,he avoid$ my eye4 ,( c\rse ,i said t ,i tru/$ !m to c>ry on ! s*ool z usual1 he admitt$ reluctantly4 ,!reby %[+ !m t y didn't tru/ !m at all1 ,i expla9$4 ,mac1 y mu/ h be5 a ?und]+ /rict discipl9>ian4 ,! kiddies are dead afraid ( y4 ,i fe> t y'll nev] manage to h self-gov]nm5t4 ,?is fe> ( y mu/ be brok51 & y've got to break x4 ,b h[8 he ask$ helplessly4 ,by com+ d[n (f y\r p$e/al4 ,y mu/ become "o ( ! gang4 ,"o dramatic exhibition w d x4 ,:at d y mean8 ,sma% a w9d[2 *uck books ab\t ! room 4 4 4 any?+ to break ?is idea t y are an exalt$ be+ ^: eye is l ,god's always ready to see evil4 ,mac look$ annoy$ & injur$4 ,:at good w my fool+ d8 he ask$4 ,b1 ,i prote/$ s]i\sly1 x's ess5tial4 ,y simply mu/ break y\r au?ority if y are to h a free s*ool4 ,!re c be no real self-expression if y are always /&+ by to /amp out slack+ & noise4 ,b1 he prote/$1 didn't ,i tell 'em ,i 0 giv+ up my au?ority8 ,yes1 b !y don't believe y4 ,y've got ! eye ( an au?ority4 ,he 0 by ?is "t gett+ r indignant4 ,i c't g ! l5g? y d1 he said s\rly4 ,i'm n an an>*i/4 ,9 t case ,i'd advise y to *uck ! exp]im5t1 ,mac1 ,i said ) an indiff]5t %rug ( my %\ld]s4 ,! %rug nettl$ ,mac2 he is "o ( ! bull-dog bre$1 & ,i saw 8 lips set4 ,i've begun x1 & ,i won't *uck x1 he said firmly4 ,& ,i hope to prove t y\r me?ods are all wrong4 ,let x come gradually2 t's :at ,i say4 ,:5 he came ov] at f\r o'clock 8 face gl[$ ) excitem5t4 ,he slapp$ me on ! back ) 8 heavy h&4 ,man1 he cri$1 x's go+ f9e6 ,we _h our fir/ trial ?is aft]noon4 ,g on1 ,i said4 ,oh1 x 0 a fir/ class />t4 ,jim ,+lis ?rew 8 p5cil at ,pet] ,mackie4 ,i hope he didn't miss1 ,i said flippantly4 ,mac ignor$ my levity4 ,& !n ,i didn't "k :at to d4 ,my fir/ impulse 0 to haul him out & /rap him1 b ( c\rse ,i didn't4 ,i j said to ! class3 ',y saw :at ,jim ,+lis did8 ,y h to decide :at is to be done ab\t x'4 ,& !y answ]$3 ',please1 sir1 give him ! tawse'8 ,i said4 ,mac laugh$4 ,t's exactly :at !y did say1 b ,i told !m t !y 7 gov]n+ !mselves1 & sugge/$ t !y elect a *airman & decide by vote4 ,bad tactics1 ,i comm5t$4 ,y %\ld h left !m to settle _! own proc$ure4 ,:at happ5$ !n8 ,!y appo9t$ ,m>y ,wilson z *airman1 & !n ,john ,smi? got up & propos$ t ! prison] get six scuds ) ! tawse f me4 ,! motion 0 c>ri$ unanim\sly4 ,y refus$ ( c\rse8 ,i said4 ,man1 ,i c\ldn't refuse4 ,i 0 al>m$1 because six scuds are f> too _m = a little (f5ce l *uck+ a p5cil4 ,i made !m z light z possible4 ,i groan$4 ,:at w\ld y h done8 he ask$4 ,tak5 ! prison]'s side1 ,i said promptly1 ,i %\ld h *uck$ e p5cil 9 ! room at ! judge & jury4 ,!n ,i %\ld h po9t$ out t ,i refus$ to d ! dirty "w ( ! community4 ,b :]e does ! self-gov]nm5t come 9 !re8 he prote/$4 ,*uck+ ?+s at ! jury is an>*y1 pure an>*y4 ,i "k1 ,i said simply4 ,b !n an>*y is necess>y 9 y\r s*ool4 ,y don't mean to say t ! *ildr5 ?\ght t ?r[+ a p5cil 0 a great crime8 ,:at happ5$ 0 t !y project$ !mselves on to y2 unconsci\sly !y said3 ',! ,me/] ?9ks ?is a crime & he w\ld puni% x sev]ely4' ,!y 7 try+ to please y4 ,i say t an>*y is necess>y if ^! *ildr5 are to get free f _! dep5d5ce on y & _! fe> ( y4 ,s long z y refuse to alt] y\r old values y c't expect ! kids to alt] _! old values4 ,unless y become z a little *ild y _c ent] ! k+dom (--er--self-gov]nm5t4 ,i "k t ,mac's exp]im5t w fail1 & = ?is reason2 he wants 8 *ildr5 to run ! s*ool !mselves1 b to run x accord+ to 8 ideas ( gov]nm5t4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i ?9k ( an incid5t t happ5$ :5 ,i 0 tea*+ 9 a s*ool 9 ,london4 ,i _h a draw+ lesson1 & ! *ildr5 made s mu* noise t ! tea*] 9 ! adjo9+ room came 9 & prote/$ t %e c\ldn't make h] voice he>d4 ,! noise 9 my room seem$ to increase 4 4 4 & ! lady came 9 aga94 ,! noise increas$4 ,next day ,i w5t to my class4 ,y made su* a noise ye/]day t ! tea*] next door _h to /op tea*+4 ,%e rightly compla9$4 ,n[ ,i want to ask y :at y are go+ to d ab\t x4 ,y %\ld keep u 9 ord]1 said ,f9dlay1 a boy ( elev54 ,i refuse1 ,i said2 x isn't my job4 ,?is rais$ a lively discussion2 ! majority seem$ to agree ) ,f9dlay4 ,anyway1 ,i said dogg$ly1 ,i refuse to be y\r policeman1 & ,i sat d[n4 ,!re 0 mu* talk+1 & !n ,joy got up4 ,i ?9k we ought to settle x by a meet+1 & ,i propose ,diana z *airman4 ,! idea 0 hail$ ) delight1 & ,diana 0 elect$ *airman & %e took my desk seat & ,i w5t & sat d[n 9 h] place4 ,joy jump$ up aga94 ,i propose t ,mr4 ,neill be put out ( ! room4 ,! motion 0 c>ri$4 ,righto6 ,i said1 z ,i mov$ to ! door1 ,i'll g up to ! /aff-room & h a smoke4 ,s5d = me if y want me4 ,i smok$ a cig>ette 9 ! /aff-room1 & z ,i ?rew ! /ump into ! grate ,nancy came 94 ,y c come d[n n[4 ,i w5t d[n4 ,well1 ,i said *e]ily1 h y decid$ any?+8 ,yes1 said ! *airman1 we h decid$ t---- ,joy 0 on h] feet at once4 ,i propose t we don't tell ,mr4 ,neill :at we h decid$4 ,we c ask him at ! end ( ! week if he notices any diff]5ce 9 our behavi\r4 ,o!rs object$1 & ! matt] 0 put to ! vote4 ,! vot+ 0 a draw1 & ,diana gave ! ca/+ vote 9 fav\r ( my be+ told4 ,!n %e said t ! meet+ _h agre$ t if anyone made a r[ 9 class1 he or %e 0 to be s5t to ,cov5try = a :ole day4 ,:at w happ5 if ,i speak to ! "o t has be5 s5t to ,cov5try8 ask$ ,wolodia4 ,we'll s5d y to ,cov5try too1 said ,diana1 & ! meet+ murmur$ agreem5t4 ,no "o 0 ev] s5t to ,cov5try1 b ,i _h no fur!r compla9ts aga9/ ! class4 ,"o int]e/+ feature 9 ! affair 0 ?is3 ,violet1 a lively girl full ( fun1 "o day got up &1 z a joke1 propos$ t ,mr4 ,neill be s5t to ,cov5try4 ,! o!rs1 usually will+ to laugh ) ,violet1 prote/$4 ,t's j silly1 ,violet1 !y said4 ,if y propose silly ?+s l t we'll s5d y to ,cov5try4 ,!n someone got up & propos$ t ,violet be s5t to ,cov5try = be+ silly1 & ,diana at once took ! *air4 ,i got up & mov$ ! negative1 po9t+ out t ,i made no *>ge aga9/ h]1 & %e 0 acquitt$ by a majority ( "o4 ,i m5tion ?is to %[ t *ildr5 ( elev5 & twelve c take _! responsibilities s]i\sly4 ,:5 ,i told ! /ory to ,macdonald he said3 ,b :y didn't y jo9 9 _! noise8 ,= two reasons1 ,mac1 ,i said4 ,fir/ly ^! *ildr5 7 n "u ! suppression ( gov]nm5t s*ools2 secondly x wasn't my s*ool4 ,,iii4 ,! s]vant girl at ! ,manse has _h an illegitimate *ild1 & ,meg ,caddam1 ! out-work] at ,ea/ ,ma9s is cutt+ h] dead4 ,?us ! gossip ( ,mrs4 ,macdonald4 ,meg ,caddam is ! unm>ri$ "m ( ?ree4 ,i h notic$ aga9 & aga9 t ! mo/ sev]e critic ( ! unm>ri$ "m is ! unm>ri$ "m1 & ,i h _m a "t wond]$ at ! fact4 ,n[ ,i "k ! explanation2 x is ! famili> ,projection ( a ,reproa*4 ,meg feels guilty because ( h] ?ree *ildr51 b h] guilt is repress$1 driv5 d[n into ! unconsci\s4 ,%e d>e n all[ h] consci\s m9d to face ! tru?1 = !n ! tru? w\ld l[] h] self-respect2 x w\ld be unpleasant1 out ( h>mony ) h] ego-ideal4 ,b x is easy = h] to project ?is inn] reproa* on to someone else1 h5ce h] blam+ ( ! ,manse lassie4 ,meg ,caddam is really condemn+ h]self1 b %e does n "k x4 ,i us$ to despise ! ,meg ,caddams z hypocrites1 b1 poor s\ls1 !y are n hypocrites4 ,_! condemnation ( _! fall5 si/]s is g5u9e4 ,x is wond]ful h[ we all manage to divide our m9ds into comp>tm5ts4 ,s&y ,m>%all ( ,brigs ,f>m is a mo/ religi\s man1 yet ! o!r day he 0 f9$ = wat]+ 8 milk4 ,x is unju/ to say t 8 religion is hypocritical4 ,:at happ5s is t 8 religion is %ut up 9 "o comp>tm5t ( 8 m9d1 & 8 di%one/y is %ut up 9 ano!r comp>tm5t 4 4 4 & !re is no direct communication betwe5 ! comp>tm5ts4 ,! m9d is l "o ( ! old] railway c>riages2 education's task is to conv]t ! old c>riage into a new corridor c>riage ) communication betwe5 ! comp>tm5ts4 ,meg ,caddam's own transgression aga9/ curr5t morality is lock$ up 9 "o comp>tm5t2 h] condemnation ( ! ,manse girl is 9 ano!r comp>tm5t4 ,!re is an unconsci\s communication1 b !re is no consci\s communication4 ,i don't "k :at ,meg w\ld say if a cruel fri5d po9t$ out to h] t %e also 0 a fall5 woman4 ,i ?9k t ! gossip ( ?is village mo/ly consi/s ( project$ reproa*es4 ,liz ,ramsay1 an old maid & ! sup]-gossip ( ,t>bonny1 came into ! s*oolh\se ?is morn+4 ,d ye k5 ?is1 %e said to ,mrs4 ,macdonald1 x's my ope5ion t ,mrs4 ,broon di$ o' neglect4 ,i w5t to ! door ! day a=e %e di$ to spe] hoo %e 01 & h] daught] cam to ! door1 & d ye k5 ?is8 ,t lassie 0 smil+ 4 4 4 smil9' 4 4 4 & h] auld "m up/airs at dea?'s door4 ,eh1 ,mrs4 ,macdonald1 %e's a he>tless woman t ,m>y ,broon4 ,%e kill$ h] "m by neglect1 t's :at %e did4 ,aft] %e _h gone ,i said to ,mrs4 ,macdonald3 ,:o nurs$ ,liz's "m :5 %e di$ la/ ,june8 ,nobody1 said ,mrs4 ,macdonald grimly4 ,liz _h too mu* gossip to retail 9 ! village1 & ,i'm told t ,liz 0 seldom 9 ! h\se4 ,i ?9k ,i am guess+ fairly rightly :5 ,i say t ,liz feels guilty ( neglect+ h] own "m1 & l ,meg ,caddam %e projects ! reproa* on to someone else4 99 99 99 99 99 99 ,la/ ,friday night ,i gave a lecture to ! lit]>y ,society 9 ,t>by1 our ne>e/ t[n4 ,i *ose ! subject ( =gett+1 & ,i told ! audi5ce ( ,freud & 8 great "w 9 connection ) ! unconsci\s4 ,to-day's ,t>by ,h]ald 9 report+ ! lecture pr9ts phonetically ! spell+ ,froid1 b ! ,t>by ,obs]v] goes "o bett] :5 x says3 ,mr4 ,neill is an expon5t ( ! new sci5ce ( ,cycloanalysis4 ,:i* rem9ds me ( a pa9ful episode t took place :5 ,i 0 eighte54 ,i 0 mu* enam\r$ ( a "y univ]sity /ud5t1 & ,i always /rove to ga9 h] fav\r by be+ int]e/$ 9 ! ?+s %e lik$4 ,"o day %e in=m$ me t %e int5d$ to take ! ,psy*ology class at ,/4 ,&rews ! foll[+ session4 ,i _h nev] he>d ! ^w be=e1 & ,i made a bold guess t x _h some?+ to d ) cycles4 ,9 consequ5ce we talk$ at cross purposes = a :ile4 ,i'd love a subject l t1 ,i said w>mly4 ,mo/ ( x w be exp]im5tal psy*ology1 %e said4 ,my en?usiasm increas$4 ,i ?\ght ( ! _m exp]im5ts ,i _h tri$ ) my old cu%ion-tyr$ cycle4 ,excell5t6 ,i cri$4 ,a sort ( tra9+ 9 inv5t+4 ,cranks1 eh8 ,at t "t my "o ambition 9 life 0 to inv5t a fold+ crank t w\ld give d\ble p[] on hills4 ,! lady look$ at me %>ply4 ,:y cranks8 %e dem&$4 ,i don't see x4 ,psy*ology has no?+ to d ) cry/al-gaz+ y "k4 ,i 0 gravell$4 ,b :at's ! idea8 ,i ask$4 ,improvem5t ( design8 ,?is made h] ?9k h>d4 ,h'm1 yes1 ,i ?9k ,i "k :at y mean1 %e said sl[ly4 ,b rememb] t be=e y c improve ! psy*e y mu/ "k ! psy*e4 ,i ha/5$ to agree4 ,c]ta9ly1 b all ! same !re is mu* room = improvem5t4 ,y don't want to come (f at e hill1 d y8 ,?is seem$ to make h] m ?\ghtful /ill4 ,no1 %e said1 b don't y ?9k t ! m9d makes ! hill8 ,?is /agg]$ me4 ,eh8 ,i gasp$4 ,mean to say t ,i broke my *a9 on ,logie ,brae ye/]day because---- ,i'm afraid x is too difficult = me1 %e said apologetically4 ,i get lo/ 9 metaphors4 ,!n ,i ask$ h] some?+ ab\t ball be>+s1 & %e ?rew me a grateful smile 4 4 4 = *ang+ ! subject--z %e ?\ght4 ,! mo/ amus+ joke is ! joke ab\t ! innoc5t or ignorant4 ,ev]yone is tickl$ at ! ,hamlet joke ,i ref]r$ to 9 my ,log4 ,! s*ool inspector 0 d9+ ) ! local squire4 ,funny ?+ happ5$ 9 ! village s*ool to-day1 he said4 ,i 0 a little bit ratty1 & ,i fir$ a "q at a sleepy-look+ boy at ! bottom ( ! class4 ,"h1 boy1 :o wrote ,hamlet8 ,! little *ap got v flu/]$4 ,p--please1 sir1 x wasna me6 ,! squire laugh$ boi/]\sly4 ,& ,i suppose ! little devil _h done if aft] all6 he cri$4 ,we laugh at t /ory because we h all made mi/akes ow+ to ignorance1 & blu%$ = !m a hundr$ times lat]4 ,:5 we laugh at ! squire1 we are really laugh+ at ourselves2 we are gett+ rid ( our p5t-up self-%ame4 ,t's :y a good laugh is a m$ic9e2 x all[s u to get rid ( psy*ic poison1 j z a good sweat rids u ( somatic poison4 ,*>lie ,*apl9 has possibly cur$ m p ?an all ! psy*o-analy/s 9 ! _w4 99 99 99 99 99 ,public speak+ is a mo/ difficult ?+4 ,x is difficult en\gh :5 y "k y\r subject1 & x is almo/ impossible if y don't4 ,at a d9n] someone asks y to get up & propose ! heal? ( ! ladies4 ,i tri$ propos+ t toa/ once2 luckily mo/ ( ! d9]s 7 "u ! table by t "t4 ,:at c "o say ab\t ! ladies8 ,:5 y h a def9ite subject to talk ab\t1 & :5 y "k ev]y?+ ab\t x1 ev5 !n public speak+ is difficult4 ,y /& up be=e a sea ( faces4 ,y see no "o2 y d>e n cat* anyone's eye4 ,! be/ plan is to fix y\r eye on ! blurr$ face ( ! man at ! back ( ! hall4 ,y feel t ! audi5ce is vaguely ho/ile4 ,at "o "t ,i us$ to g /raight into my subject 4 4 4 ,ladies & g5tlem51 ! subject ( evolution has occupi$ ! m9ds (-- ,!n ! audi5ce began to ru/le1 & ! wom5 turn$ to look at ! hats beh9d !m4 ,n[adays ,i am m w>y4 ,i /& up & gaze ov] ! sea ( faces = a full m9ute4 ,!re is absolute sil5ce4 ,i put my h&s into my tr\s] pockets & gaze at ! ceil+1 z if ,i 7 consid]+ :e!r ,i %\ld g on or give x up & g home4 ,ev5 ! boys at ! back ( ! hall beg9 to look t[>ds ! plat=m4 ,!n ,i look d[n & f9d t my tie is hang+ out ( my wai/coat1 & ,i adju/ x4 ,a girl ( t5 giggles4 ,:at c y expect = fivep5ce half-p5ny8 ,i ask1 & ! audi5ce gasps4 ,:y doesn't someone inv5t a long tie t won't come out at ! ends8 ,i ask we>ily1 & !re is a laugh4 ,i g on f ties to coll>s1 & !re is ano!r laugh4 ,aft] t ,i c speak on education = two h\rs1 & ev]yone 9 ! hall w li/5 ) great att5tion4 ,! fir/ ?+ 9 public speak+ is to get on good t]ms ) y\r audi5ce1 & ,i claim t ! be/ way to d ?is is to %[ !m ! human side ( y\rself4 ,"s ( y\r he>]s are ag9 y2 !y h come out to criticise y4 ,y dis>m !m at once by treat+ y\rself z a joke4 ,( c\rse y mu/ suit y\r tactics to y\r audi5ce4 ,! tie rem>k w put me on good t]ms ) a rural audi5ce1 b x w\ld fail 9 a lecture to tea*]s 9 ! ,alb]t ,hall4 ,an important ?+ to rememb] is t cr[d hum\r is q diff]5t f individual hum\r4 ,a cr[d w ro> ) delight if ! lectur] accid5tally knocks ov] ! dr9k+ glass on ! table1 b no individual ev] laughs :5 a simil> accid5t happ5s 9 a private room4 ,read ! reports ( spee*es 9 ! ,h\se ( ,commons4 ,y w read t ,lloyd ,george1 9 a spee*1 says3 ,& n[ let u turn to ,irel& 7l\d laught]74 ,b 9 cold pr9t x isn't a v good joke4 ,q a good way ( comm5c+ a lecture is to tell a %ort /ory 4 4 4 ab\t ! *airman if possible4 ,b y mu/ be c>eful4 ,keep (f ! topic ( ! *airman's m>ital affairs2 he may h lodg$ a divorce petition ! week be=e4 ,on second ?\ghts ,i ?9k x bett] n to m5tion ! *airman at all4 ,la/ w9t] ! local mayor 0 presid+ at a lecture ,i gave 9 an ,engli% t[n4 ,aft] ,i _h deliv]$ ! lecture1 he got up4 ,i came to ?is meet+ feel+ dead tir$1 he said1 b aft] ,mr4 ,neill's lecture ,i feel z fre% z a daisy4 ,i rose 9 al>m4 ,ladies & g5tlem51 ,i said ha/ily1 ! mayor has be5 sitt+ beh9d me4 ,d tell me3 has he be5 asleep8 ,9 ! ante-room aft]w>ds he assur$ me solemnly t he hadn't be5 asleep4 ,on ,friday night ,i began ?us3 ,mr4 ,*airman1 ladies & g5tlem51 ,i am go+ to talk ab\t ,=gett+4 ,!n ,i put my h& 9 my inside coat pocket2 !n ,i tri$ ano!r pocket1 & got v excit$ :ile ,i rummag$ e pocket ,i _h4 ,i mu/ apologise1 ,i said1 b ,i h =gott5 my notes4 ,! audi5ce laugh$1 & we became ! be/ ( fri5ds4 99 99 99 99 99 ,=gett+ is v (t5 int5tional4 ,we =get :at we d n want to rememb]4 ,br[n writes to me say+ t he is tak+ ! wife & kids to ! seaside1 & w\ld ,i please pay him ! fiv] ,i owe him8 ,i at once sit d[n & write3 ,my de> ,br[n1 ,i enclose a *eque = five quid4 ,_m ?anks = ! loan4 ,hope y all h a good "t at ! sea4 ,?ree days lat] ,br[n replies4 ,?anks = y\r lett]1 old man1 b y =got to enclose ! *eque4 ,:y did ,i =get ! *eque8 ,because ,i did n want to pay up4 ,consci\sly ,i did want to pay1 = ,i wrote out ! *eque all "r1 b my unconsci\s did n want to pay1 & x 0 my unconsci\s t made me slip ! *eque "u ! blott]4 ,la/ summ] ,i 0 invit$ to sp5d ! week-end ) "s p at ,/anmore4 ,i did n want to g2 a previ\s week-end ) !m _h be5 mo/ bor+4 ,h[ev]1 ,i reluctantly cons5t$ to g out on ! ,saturday morn+4 ,:5 ,saturday morn+ came ,i 0 n v mu* surpris$ to f9d t ,i _h =gott5 to put out my boots to be clean$ ! night be=e4 ,x looks z if ,i w]5't ke5 on ?is trip1 ,i said to myself4 ,i w5t d[n to ,bak] ,/reet & got into ! tra94 ,we /opp$ at _m /ations1 & aft] an h\r's j\rney ,i began to wond] :at 0 wrong4 ,i ask$ ano!r man 9 ! comp>tm5t :5 we 7 due at ,/anmore1 & he look$ surpris$4 ,:y1 he said1 y're on ! wrong l9e2 y ought to h *ang$ at ,h>r[4 ,i got out at ! next /ation & f\nd t ,i _h an h\r to wait = ! return tra9 to ,h>r[4 ,z ,i sat on ! plat=m ,i took f my pocket my ho/'s lett]4 ,rememb]1 x ran1 to *ange at ,h>r[1 & ! words 7 und]l9$4 ,i arriv$ f\r h\rs late 4 4 4 & sp5t a pleasant week-end4 ,"o night ,i 0 d9+ out 9 ,london1 & ,i told my ho/ ! new !ory ( =gett+4 ,t's all bunkum1 he said4 ,:y1 !re is a fl[] gr[+ at ! front door !re1 & ,i c nev] rememb] ! "n ( x4 ,i am fond ( fl[]s & nev] h any difficulty 9 rememb]+ _! names z a rule4 ,:at fl[] is x8 ,i ask$4 ,he tri$ to recall x1 & _h to give x up4 ,x's ! joke ( ! family1 said 8 wife4 ,he c nev] rememb] ! "n ,begonia4 ,begonia6 cri$ my ho/1 t's ! "n6 ,b surely y don't mean to tell me t ,i want to =get x8 ,:y %\ld ,i8 ,x may be associat$ ) some?+ unpleasant 9 y\r life1 ,i said4 ,nons5se6 he laugh$4 ,! "n conveys no?+ to me4 ,we began to talk ab\t o!r ?+s4 ,t5 m9utes lat] my ho/ sudd5ly exclaim$3 ,i've got x6 ,:at8 ,i ask$4 ,t ,begonia bus9ess4 ,:5 ,i began bus9ess z a *>t]$ acc\ntant ov] tw5ty ye>s ago1 ! fir/ books ,i _h to audit 7 ! books ( a company call+ itself ,! ,begonia ,furni%+ ,company4 ,i glanc$ ?r\gh ! books & soon conclud$ t !y 7 sw9dl]s4 ,i worri$ ov] t case = a week2 y see x 0 my fir/ case1 & ,i felt a little sup]/iti\s ab\t x4 ,h[ev]1 at ! end ( a week ,i s5t ! books back say+ t ,i c\ldn't see my way to und]take ! audit+4 ,i've nev] giv5 !m a ?\ght s9ce4 ,i expla9$ ! me*anisms to him4 ,! :ole idea ( ?is ,begonia ,company 0 s pa9ful to him t he repress$ x1 t is1 drove x d[n into ! unconsci\s4 ,tw5ty ye>s lat] he 0 unconsci\sly afraid to recall ! "n ( ! fl[]1 because ! "n might h br\ght back ! pa9ful memories ( ! que/ionable books4 ,on ,friday night dur+ "q "t "o man got up4 ,:y is x1 !n1 he ask$1 t ,i _c =get ! pa9ful "t :5 my wife di$8 ,i expla9$ t a big ?+ l t _c be =gott51 b po9t$ out t 9 a case l t ! t5d5cy is to =get little ?+s 9 connection ) ! big pa94 ,i told him ( a case ,i _h myself kn[n4 ,a lady ( my acqua9tance liv$ = a few ye>s 9 ,glasg[2 !n %e mov$ to ,ed9burgh1 :]e %e liv$ = almo/ ?irty ye>s4 ,n[ %e lives 9 ,london4 ,:5 %e talks ( h] old home 9 ,ed9burgh %e always says3 ,:5 we 7 9 ,glasg[4 ,inv>iably %e makes ?is mi/ake4 ,! reason is almo/ c]ta9ly ?is3 j be=e %e left ,ed9burgh %e lo/ ! "o %e lov$ mo/ 9 life4 ,%e says3 ,:5 we 7 9 ,glasg[ because ! ^w ,ed9burgh w\ld at once br+ back ! pa9ful memories connect$ ) h] lov$ "o's dea?4 ,:5 ,i 0 tea*+ 9 ,hamp/ead "o ( my pupils1 a boy ( sixte51 came to me "o day4 ,t's all rot1 :at y say ab\t want+ to =get ?+s1 he said4 ,i w5t & left my walk+-/ick 9 a bus ye/]day4 ,7 y tir$ ( x8 ,i ask$4 ,tir$ ( x8 he said indignantly4 ,:y1 x 0 a beauty1 a silv]-topp$ cane1 got x f "m on my bir?day4 ,t proves y\r !ory is all wrong4 ,tell me ab\t ye/]day1 ,i said4 ,well1 ,i 0 go+ to a mat* at "l's1 & x look$ r dull1 s "m told me ,i'd bett] take a gamp4 ,i said x wasn't go+ to ra91 & took my cane1 b ,i _h j got on ! top ( a bus :5 d[n came ! ra9 9 bucketfuls & ,i tell y ,i 0 wet to ! sk94 ,s y did mean to leave y\r cane beh9d8 ,i ask$1 ) a smile4 ,b ,i tell y ,i didn't6 ,y did1 all ! same4 ,y kick$ y\rself because y hadn't tak5 y\r "m's advice & br\ght a gamp4 ,y delib]ately left y\r cane beh9d y because x _h prov$ useless4 ,i mu/ add t ,i fail$ to conv9ce him4 ,connect$ ) =gett+ are :at ,freud calls symptomatic acts4 ,i leave my /ick or gloves beh9d :5 ,i am call+ at a h\se3 ,i conclude t ,i want to g back !re4 ,i g to d9n] at ! ,?omsons'1 & at _! front door ,i abs5t-m9d$ly take out my lat*-key4 ,?is may mean t ,i feel at home !re2 on ! o!r h&1 x may mean t ,i wi% ,i 7 at home4 ,x is dang]\s to dogmatise ab\t ! unconsci\s4 ,i 0 sitt+ "o night ) ,wilson1 an old college fri5d ( m9e4 ,we talk$ ( old times1 & ,i rem>k$ t he _h be5 v lucky 9 8 lodg+s dur+ 8 college c\rse4 ,yes1 he said1 ,i 0 9 ! same digs all ! five ye>s4 ,%e 0 a ripp+ l&lady 0 ,mrs4--,mrs4--,good ,"l6 ,i've =gott5 h] "n6 ,he tri$ to recall ! "n1 b _h to give x up4 ,two h\rs lat]1 z he rose to g1 he exclaim$3 ,i rememb] ! "n n[6 ,mrs4 ,watson6 ,:at are y\r associations to ! "n ,watson8 ,i ask$4 ,associations8 ,:at d y mean8 ,:at's ! fir/ ?+ t comes into y\r head 9 connection ) ! "n8 ,i ask$4 ,he made an ef=t to conc5trate 8 m9d1 !n sudd5ly he laugh$ %ortly4 ,good ,"l6 he cri$1 t's my wife's "n6 ,i felt t ,i c\ld n v well ask him any?+ fur!r1 b ,i suspect$ t ,wilson & 8 wife 7 n gett+ on well toge!r4 99 99 99 99 99 ,macdonald's self-gov]nm5t s*eme has fizzl$ out4 ,ye/]day 8 s*ol>s bes\ght him to return to ! old way ( au?ority4 ,!y 7 f$ up ) look+ aft] !mselves1 expla9$ ,mac to me4 ,!y 7 always try+ ea* o!r = misdemean\rs1 & !y got sick ( x4 ,i tri$ to expla9 to ,mac :y 8 attempt _h fail$4 ,self-gov]nm5t always fails unless x is complete self-gov]nm5t4 ,mac 0 ! director & guide2 x 0 he :o decid$ ! "t-table2 x 0 he :o rang ! bell & decid$ ! l5g? ( ! int]vals4 ,! *ildr5 _h no?+ to d b to keep !mselves 9 ord]1 h5ce !y came to spy on ea* o!r4 ,all _! en]gies 7 direct$ to p5al measures4 ,_! meet+ deg5]at$ into a police c\rt4 ,t 0 inevitable2 ,mac1 by lay+ d[n all ! laws1 prev5t$ _! us+ _! creative en]gy on ?+s & ideas4 ,naturally !y put all ! en]gy !y _h into ! only ?+ op5 to !m--! trial ( (f5d]s4 ,9 %ort1 !y 7 employ+ en]gy 9 de/ruction :5 !y ought to h be5 employ+ x 9 con/ruction4 ,mac seems indiff]5t n[4 ,! ?+ is unworkable1 he says4 99 99 99 99 99 ,duncan came ov] to-night4 ,i decid$ to let him d mo/ ( ! talk+1 & he did x well4 ,he has be5 do+ a lot ( ,regional ,geography1 & ,i le>n$ mu* f 8 conv]sation4 ,z ! ev5+ wore on he became v affable1 & he treat$ me ) ! greate/ k9dness4 ,:5 ,mac 0 see+ him out ,duncan rem>k$ to him3 ,t *ap ,neill isn't su* a bad fell[ aft] all4 ,n[ t ,i h %[n ,duncan t ,i am 8 inf]ior 9 ,geography he w li/5 to me ) less irritation4 ,aft] supp] ,i w5t ov] to see ,dauvit4 ,8 %op 0 cr[d$4 ,conv]sation 0 go+ sl[ly1 & ,dauvit seem$ to welcome my entrance4 ,man1 ,dom9ie1 he said1 ,i am v glad to see ye1 cos ! smi? "h has be5 tell9' 8 usual lees aboot ! t5 pund troot t he ne>ly l&$ 9 ! ,k]net4 ,i doot ye dreamt x1 smi?1 said ! =eman f ,hill5d4 ,i k5 = mysell t ! bigge/ troot ,i ev] cat*$ 7 9 my dreams4 ,dreams is j a curran ble!rs1 said ! smi? 9 scorn4 ,dauvit look$ at him ?\ghtfully4 ,t's a v ignorant rem>k1 smi?1 he said gravely4 ,!re's naebody k5s :at a dream is4 ,"s o' ?ae spirituali/ lads say t :5 ye are asleep y] _s goes to ! next plane1 & t maks y] dreams4 ,! smi? laugh$ l\dly4 ,oh1 ,dauvit6 ,:y1 man1 ,i dream$ la/ ni*t t ,i 0 sitt9' we a great muckle p9t o' be] 9 my h&4 ,d ye mean to tell me t !re is be] 9 heav58 ,!re 0 a laugh at ,dauvit's exp5se1 b ! laugh turn$ aga9/ ! smi? :5 ,dauvit rem>k$ dryly3 ,i didna m5tion heav52 ,i said ! next plane1 & onybody t k5s y1 smi?1 k5s t ! plane y're gae9' to is ! doon plane4 ,naturally1 a muckle p9t o' be] w be ! exact ?+ ye ne$ doon !re1 he add$4 ,x's my ope5ion1 said old ,john ,pet]s1 t dreams is j l a motor c> )oot ! driv]4 ,or l a s*ule )oot ! me/]2 ! bairns j run aboot :aur !y l1 nae control z ye mi*t say4 ,weel1 t's je/ :at happ5s 9 dreams2 ! me/] is sleep9' & ! bairns d all sorts o' mad ?+s4 ,aye1 man1 ,john1 said ,dauvit1 :o seem$ to be /ruck ) ! idea1 !re's maybe some?+ 9 t4 ,j z bairns :5 !y get free d a' ! ?+s !y're no meant to d1 we d ! same ?+s 9 oor dreams4 ,goad1 b ,i've done "s awfu' ?+s 9 my dreams6 ,"h ,jake ,to% ! roadman began to c\gh1 & ,jake's c\gh always means t he is ab\t to say some?+4 ,y're j a lot o' hav]9' craturs1 he said ) conviction4 ,if ye _h ony s5se ye wud k5 t ! dream is j *eese & tripe = supp]4 ,dauvit's eyes tw9kl$4 ,& does ! *eese w&] frae y] /ammick up to y] heid1 ,jake8 ,i wudna g s f> z t1 said ,jake s]i\sly1 b :at ,i say is t a' ! diff]5t p>ts o' ! body "w !ge!r4 ,if ! /ammick has to "w a' ni*t to dige/ ! *eese1 ! heid has to keep work9' at ! same rate1 & t's :y ye dream4 ,aye1 man1 ,jake1 said ,dauvit1 x's a bonny !ory1 b wud ye je/ tell me exactly :at "w y] toes & f+]s & hair are do9' a' ni*t to keep upsides wi' y] /ammick8 ,jake dismiss$ ! "q ) an airy wave ( 8 h&4 ,onybody k5s t1 he said2 !y gr[4 ,y] hair & y] nails gr[ at ni*ts1 & t's :y ye ne$ a %ave 9 ! morn9'6 ,:at if y don't dream at all1 ,jake8 ,i ask$4 ,ye're ne$9' "s grub1 said ,jake %ortly4 ,on ?9k+ x ov] ,i feel t ,jake's !ory ?r[s "s light on ,jung's !ory ( ! libido4 ,,iv4 ,?is morn+ ,i _h a lett] f a fri5d 9 ,london ask+ :5 ,i am go+ to set up my ,crank ,s*ool 9 ,london4 ,i began to ?9k ab\t ! ^w ,crank4 ,:at is a ,crank8 ,usually ! "n is appli$ to p :o we> long hair1 eat veget>ian diet1 we> s&als 4 4 4 or some?+ 9 t l9e4 ,a ,crank !re=e is someone :o diff]s f ! cr[d1 & ,i am l$ to conclude t ! ,crank n only diff]s f ! cr[d b is usually ahead ( ! cr[d4 ,accord+ to ,sir ,m>t9 ,conway ! cr[d has no head2 x c only feel4 ,h5ce x comes t ! ma9 feature ( a cr[d is its emotion4 ,:5 we /udy ! /reet cr[d1 ! mob1 ?is fact is evid5t2 b c we say ! same ( o!r cr[ds 4 4 4 ! ,public ,s*ool cr[d1 ! ,*ur*1 ! ,m9]s1 ! ,doctors8 ,i ?9k s4 ,! ang] t ,alec ,waugh's book1 ,! ,loom ( ,y\?1 ar\s$ 9 ! public s*ools 0 n a ?\ght-out ang]2 x came f ! public s*ool emotion4 ,s ) vivisection2 ! doctors' rage at ! anti-vivisectioni/s is n an intellectual rage2 x is simply a pr(essional emotion4 ,j be=e ,i left ,london ,i happ5$ "o night to be 9 a company ( m5 :o 7 argu+ ab\t ,re-inc>nation4 ,i _h no special views on ! subject1 b ,i soon f\nd myself support+ ! cr[d t 0 sceptical ab\t ,re-inc>nation4 ,! reason 0 t ! lead] ( ! anti-re9c>nation cr[d happ5$ to be a man call$ ,neill4 ,x is highly probable t if two rag-&-bone m5 got into a scrap 9 a public h\se !y w\ld support ea* o!r simply out ( a pr(essional cr[d emotion4 ,t ! cr[d has no head is evid5t :5 we read ! popul> pap]s or see ! popul> films4 ,! mo/ successful pap]s are ^? t t\* ! passions ( ! mob4 ,i prov$ ?is "o week la/ spr+4 ,judges 7 beg9n+ to introduce ! cat = crim9als1 z a means to /em ! crime wave4 ,i sat d[n & wrote an article on ! subject1 po9t+ out t ?is 0 a go+ back to ! days ( b>b>ism :5 lunatics 7 :ipp$ beh9d ! c>t's tail4 ,i made a /rong plea = ! psy*ological treatm5t ( ! crim9al1 bas+ my plea on ! fact t crime is ! result ( unconsci\s work+s ( ! m9d1 & /at+ t in/ead ( s5d+ a poor man to p5al s]vitude we ought to analyse 8 m9d & cure him ( 8 anti-social t5d5cies4 ,i ?\ght x a jolly good article1 & :5 a prom95t ,sunday pap] return$ ! manuscript to me ,i 0 surpris$4 ,my surprise left me on ! foll[+ ,sunday :5 ! same pap] bl>$ =? an article by ,horatio ,bottomley4 ,8 title 03 ,want$--! ,cat6 ,my article 0 m ?\ghtful1 m humane1 m sci5tific4 ,:y1 !n1 0 x suppress$8 ,! answ] is simple3 x did n fit 9 ) ! passions ( ! cr[d4 ,x becomes cle> :y our be/ public m5--editors1 cab9et m9i/]s1 publici/s are n great ?9k]s4 ,!y mu/ keep 9 t\* ) ! cr[d2 !y mu/ express ! emotions ( ! cr[d4 ,! attitude ( ! cr[d to ! anti-cr[d p]son1 ! ,crank1 is nev] "o ( contemptu\s indiff]5ce4 ,x is always di/9ctly ho/ile4 ,if ,i travel by tube f ,hamp/ead to ,piccadilly )\t a hat ! o!r travell]s />e at me ) mild ho/ility4 ,:y8 ,conway1 9 ,! ,cr[d 9 ,peace & ,w>1 an excell5t book1 says t ?is ho/ility comes f fe>4 ,a cr[d is always afraid ( ano!r cr[d1 because ! only =ce t c de/roy a cr[d is a rival cr[d4 ,e individual :o diff]s f ! h]d is suspect because he is p]haps ! nucleus ( a rival cr[d4 ,t is :y ! _w always crucifies its ,*ri/s4 ,! ,crank ,s*ool1 !n1 is a s*ool :]e anti-cr[d p s5d _! *ildr54 ,x is ! s*ool p> excell5ce ( ! ,intellig5tsia4 ,! t5d5cy ( e ,crank ,s*ool is to exagg]ate ! diff]5ce betwe5 ! crank & ! cr[d2 h5ce its adoption ( an ideal & its concomitant crazes4 ,i _c = ! life ( me see :y ideals are associat$ ) veget>ianism1 long hair1 ,grecian dress1 & s&als1 j z ,i _c see :y art %\ld atta* itself to huge b[-ties1 long hair1 & foot-long cig>ette hold]s4 ,! ,crank ,s*ool holds up an ideal4 ,x pla/]s its walls ) bu/s ( ,walt ,:itman & ,blake2 x hangs bad reproductions ( ,botticelli r\nd ! walls2 x s+s songs to ,fre$om2 x rhapsodises ab\t ,bee?ov5 & ,ba*4 ,! *ildr5 ( ! ,crank ,s*ools are1 ,i rejoice to say1 n cranks4 ,!y leave ! bor$om ( ,ba* & seek ! jazz record on ! gramophone2 !y ignore ! pictures ( ,:itman & ,blake & /udy ,! ,picture ,%[ or ,funny ,bits4 ,_m ( !m ?9k m highly ( ,*>lie ,*apl9 ?an ( ,william ,%akespe>e4 ,i say aga9 t ,i rejoice 9 ?is2 x s]ves ! ,crank ,s*ool p jolly well "r4 ,i _c see by :at "r educators =ce :at !y consid] good ta/e d[n ! *ildr5's ?roats4 ,t is a return to ! old way ( au?ority1 ( treat+ ! *ild's m9d z a blank slate4 ,if ! ,crank ,s*ools are to improve1 !y mu/ drop _! high moral purpose tone & come d[n to e>?4 ,!y mu/ realise t ,*>lie ,*apl9 & ,john ,bull h _! place 9 education j z ,%akespe>e & ,bee?ov5 h _! place4 ,we d n want to turn out cranks :o w =m a new sup]ior cr[d2 we want to turn out m5 & wom5 :o w readily jo9 ! conv5tional cr[d & help x to rea* bett] ideals4 ,?is "q ( good ta/e is a sore "o ) me4 ,i ?9k x fatal to impose good ta/e on any *ild2 ! *ild mu/ =m 8 own ta/e4 ,i "k t x is possible to cultivate good ta/e & to become a v sup]ior cultivat$ p]son1 b ,i "k t ! human1 err+1 vulg>1 music-hall1 ,*>lie ,*apl9 "p ( su* a p]son's make-up is n annihilat$2 x is m]ely repress$ into ! unconsci\s4 ,i h a !ory t ea* ( u has a def9ite am\nt ( human nature1 "s ( x high1 "s ( x l[1 or1 to phrase x diff]5tly1 "s ( x animal1 "s ( x spiritual4 ,we c repress "o "p1 & !n we become ei!r a sa9t or a s9n]2 ! bett] way is to be bo? sa9t & s9n]1 to look life /raight 9 ! face1 condemn+ no "o1 judg+ no "o4 99 99 99 99 99 ,macdonald 0 re-read+ ,a ,dom9ie ,dismiss$ to-night1 & he look$ up & said3 ,look "h1 y've got an awful lot ( swe>-words 9 ?is book6 ,t1 ,i said1 has a cause1 ,mac4 ,!y ar5't really swe>-words2 ! _w has gr[n out ( be+ %ock$ at a 'damn1' b ,i am will+ to admit t !re are m damns & hells ?an is usual4 ,!y are symptomatic2 !y date back to my e>ly days :5 swe>+ 0 a crime puni%able ) ! /rap4 ,!y are simply symbols ( my fre$om4 ,mo/ bad language is f a l cause4 ,:5 y foozle on ! fir/ tee !re is no e>?y reason :y y %\ld say ',hell' r ?an ',onions'6 ,b if onions _h be5 taboo :5 y 7 a *ild y w\ld f9d y\rself us+ ! ^w z a swe>4 ,! curse ^w is ! l9k t jo9s y\r foozle ) ! nurs]y2 :5ev] y curse y regress1 t is1 y g back to ! infantile4 ,b1 said ,mac1 y don't mean to say t if swe>+ 7 p]mitt$ to *ildr5 t !y w\ldn't curse :5 !y 7 gr[n up8 ,i don't ?9k !y w\ld1 ,i said4 ,nor w\ld !re be any unpr9table /ories if we _h a frank sex education4 ,x's a sad fact1 ,mac1 b n9e-t5?s ( hum\r is due to e>ly suppression & repression4 ,seems to me1 said ,mac ) a laugh1 t if ev]ybody 7 psy*o-analys$1 ! _w w\ld be a pretty dull place4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a few days ago ,i f\nd a pot ( light pa9t 9 ,mac's work%op1 &1 impell$ by heav5 only kn[s :at unconsci\s process1 ,i pa9t$ my bicycle blue4 ,?is morn+1 ! pa9t be+ dry1 ,i rode =? into an unsympa!tic _w4 ,wom5 came to _! doors to />e at my ma*9e1 & z !y />$ !y broke into laught]4 ,:5 ,i rea*$ ! village ( ,cordyke ! s*ool 0 com+ out1 & ,i 0 greet$ ) a h[l ( d]ision4 ,i ?\ght x a good in/ance ( cr[d psy*ology2 ,i 0 diff]5t f ! cr[d1 & ,i evok$ laught] & d]ision4 ,aft] cycl+ a few miles1 ,i came to an old man break+ /ones at ! bottom ( a hill4 ,on my approa*+ he ?rew d[n 8 hamm] & turn$ to />e at my cycle4 ,i dism\nt$4 ,almi*ty me6 he said ) surprise4 ,t's a mi*ty col\r6 ,x's unusual1 ,i said1 z ,i lit a cig>ette4 ,he fumbl$ = 8 clay pipe4 ,i've se5 black anes1 & ,i wance saw a silv]-plat$ ane1 b ,i nev] he>d tell o' a blue bike a=e1 he said4 ,did y p5t x8 ,i ackn[l$g$ t x 0 my v own h&iwork4 ,b1 he said 9 puzzl$ tones1 :at 0 y] idea8 & he />$ at x aga94 ,a mi*ty col\r t6 ,i ?rew my bike d[n on ! grass & sat d[n on ! cairn4 ,betwe5 y & me1 ,i said my/]i\sly1 ,i _h to pa9t x blue4 ,he rais$ 8 eyebr[s4 ,yea1 man6 ,gov]nm5t ord]s1 ,i said c>elessly1 & began to ?r[ /ones at a tree trunk at ! o!r side ( ! road4 ,gov]nm5t ord]s8 ,he look$ v mu* surpris$4 ,yes1 ,i said airily4 ,y see1 x's l ?is4 ,! ,coalition ,gov]nm5t isn't v firmly plac$ ^! days1 &1 well1 ,i'm an ag5t = x4 ,( c\rse1 y "k t x is really a ,tory gov]nm5t1 & my bike1 z x 71 invites ! electorate to vote ,true ,blue4 ,yea1 man6 ,i ?o*t t y 0 maybe ane o' ?ae temp]ance lads frae ,am]icky4 ,ah6 ,i said solemnly1 t rem9ds me2 ,pussyfoot tri$ to induce me to make my t\r a sort ( jo9t ?+4 ,he sugge/$ t ,i might c>ry on my ,tory "w1 & at ! same "t take "p 9 ! blue ribbon campaign4 ,( c\rse ,i refus$4 ,( coorse1 he nodd$4 ,(ficially ,i am do+ ,coalition "w1 ,i cont9u$ conv]sationally1 b ,i h motives ( my own4 ,y don't say6 ,oh1 yes4 ,i am a great admir] ( ,"l ,fi%] & ! ,blue ,wat] s*ool1 sometimes spok5 ( z ! ,blue ,funk s*ool4 ,aga91 ,i f9d t ! ,great ,w> has left _m p 9 ! blues1 & by means ( homeopa?y ,i cure 'em2 ,i mean to say t !y come to _! doors & laugh at my blue bike4 ,my blue dispels _! blues4 ,! old man did n seem to foll[ ?is4 ,( c\rse1 ,i w5t on1 ! ,bluebells ( ,scotl& h some?+ to d ) my selection ( ! col\r4 ,a v]ra nice sang1 he comm5t$4 ,an excell5t song6 ,!n !re is ! well-kn[n phrase ',once 9 a ,blue ,moon1' & innum]able songs ab\t ! pale moonlight4 ,also ,i once knew a man :o _h ! blue devils4 ,i tri$ to ?9k ( o!r phases ( blu5ess1 b my /ock 0 almo/ exhau/$4 ,( c\rse1 ,i add$1 ,i am n =gett+ ! o!r blues1 ! ,ox=d blues1 ,reckitt's ,blue1 ,blue ,c\pons1 &--&--,i'm afraid ,i c't ?9k ( any o!r blues j at ! mom5t4 ,! old man drew ! back ( 8 h& ov] 8 m\?4 ,!re's ! ',blue ,bonnets' up at ! tap o' ! brae1 he sugge/$ ?ir/ily4 ,good idea6 ,i cri$1 come on6 & toge!r we climb$ ! brae4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a fri5d ( m9e 9 ,london has writt5 me ask+ if ,i w write an article on ,co-education = an educational j\rnal1 9 :i* %e is int]e/$4 ,i repli$3 ,i c't see :]e ! problem comes 92 to a ,scot co-education is n a ?+ t has to be support$ by argum5t2 he accepts x z he accepts ! law ( gravitation4 ,i wond] :y ,engli% p are s afraid ( co-education4 ,to ?is day s*ools l ,b$ales1 ,k+ ,alfr$'s1 ,h>p5d51 & ,arundale are reckon$ z crank s*ools4 ,! great middle-class ( ,engl& believes 9 segregation4 ,ev5 ,dr4 ,erne/ ,jones1 ! mo/ prom95t ,freudian psy*o-analy/ 9 ,engl&1 appe>s to be afraid ( x4 ,i c only conjecture t ,jones agrees ) ! middle & upp] classes 9 associat+ sex ) s94 ,i h nev] tri$ to ?9k out my reasons = believ+ 9 co-education2 possibly ! true reason is t hav+ gr[n up 9 a co-education atmosph]e1 co-education has become a "p ( me j z my ,scots acc5t has4 ,9 o!r words1 ,i may h a co-education complex4 ,if t is s1 my argum5ts w be m]e rationalisations1 b ,i give !m = :at !y are wor?4 ,we are all born ) a /rong sex in/9ct1 & ?is in/9ct mu/ f9d expression 9 "s way4 ,we "k t ! sex en]gy c be sublimat$1 t is1 rais$ to a high] p[]4 ,= in/ance1 ! creative sex urge may be direct$ to ! mak+ ( a bookcase1 or ! mak+ ( a c5tury at cricket4 ,b ,i "k ( no evid5ce to prove t all ! in/9ct c be sublimat$4 ,an adolesc5t may sp5d 8 days at craftwork & games1 b he w h erotic dreams at nights4 ,all ! draw+ & pa9t+ 9 ! _w w n prev5t 8 hav+ emotion :5 he looks at ! face ( a pretty girl4 ,9 our segregation s*ools boys & girls see no?+ ( ea* o!r4 ,! unsublimat$ sex in/9ct f9ds expression 9 homosexuality1 t is ! emotion t %\ld g to ! opposite sex is fix$ on a p]son ( ! same sex4 ,i admit t we are all m or less homosexual2 o!rwise !re c\ld be no fri5d%ip betwe5 man & man1 or woman & woman4 ,9 our bo>d+ s*ools ! sex in/9ct (t5 takes ! road ( auto-eroticism4 ,9 a co-education s*ool ! sex impulse is direct$ to "o ( ! opposite sex4 ,?is atta*m5t is ne>ly always a romantic ideal atta*m5t4 ,i h nev] kn[n a case t w5t ! l5g? ( kiss+2 among little *ildr5 at a rural s*ool1 yes2 at ! age ( sev5 ,i kiss$ my fir/ swee!>t2 b among adolesc5ts ,i f9d t nei!r ! boy nor ! girl has ! c\rage to kiss4 ,!irs is a sublimat$ c\rt%ip2 !y nev] use ! ^w ,love2 !y talk ab\t lik+ ,s-&-s4 ,t at _m co-education s*ools ?is romantic atta*m5t is m or less an und]gr\nd affair is due to ! moral attitude ( tea*]s4 ,!y pride !mselves on ! beautiful sexless atta*m5ts ( _! pupils2 !y give moral lectures on ! subject ( kiss+1 & naturally e pupil 9 s*ool at once becomes pa9fully self-consci\s on ! subject4 ,! tru? is t _m co-educationi/s d n 9 _! he>ts believe 9 ! sy/em2 !y /ill see s9 9 sex4 ,to be a ?or\gh success ! co-education s*ool mu/ include sex education 9 its curriculum4 ,! *ildr5 ( ! mo/ advanc$ p>5ts seldom get x at home1 & !y come to s*ool ) ! old attitude to sex4 ,sex education does n mean tell+ *ildr5 :]e babies come f2 x %\ld dwell mo/ly on ! psy*ological side ( ! "q4 ,! *ild ought to le>n ! tru? ab\t its sex in/9ct4 ,mo/ important ( all1 ! *ild :o has indulg$ 9 auto-eroticism ought to be help$ to get rid ( 8 or h] s5se ( guilt4 ,?is s5se ( guilt is ! prim>y evil ( self-abuse2 aboli% x1 & ! *ild is on ! way to a self-cure4 ,h[ _m *ildr5 c g to _! tea*] & make confession ( sex tr\bles8 ,v few4 ,x is ! tea*]s' fault2 !y set !mselves up z morali/s1 & a morali/ is a positive dang] to any *ild4 ,n long ago ,i 0 address+ a meet+ ( tea*]s 9 s\? ,london4 ,at "q "t a woman *all5g$ me4 ,y h condemn$ morali/s1 %e said2 d y mean to say t y w\ld nev] tea* a *ild ! diff]5ce betwe5 "r & wrong8 ,nev]1 ,i answ]$1 = ,i d n "k :at is "r & :at is wrong4 ,!n ,i ?9k y ought n to be a tea*]1 %e said4 ,i "k :at is "r = me1 & wrong = me1 ,i w5t on to expla91 b ,i d n "k :at is "r & wrong = y4 ,nor d ,i presume to "k :at is "r or wrong = a *ild4 ,i 0 pleas+ly surpris$ to f9d t ! meet+ ro>$ approval ( my reply4 99 99 99 99 99 ,macdonald _h to att5d a fun]al to-day1 & he ask$ me if ,i w\ld take 8 classes = an h\r4 ,i gladly agre$4 ,give !m a lesson on psy*ology1 he said2 x w maybe improve _! behavi\r4 ,i w5t ov] to ! s*ool at two o'clock1 & ,mac introduc$ me1 al?\gh ,i _h already made fri5ds ) mo/ ( ! *ildr5 9 ! playgr\nd & ! fields4 ,mac !n w5t away & ,i sat d[n at 8 desk4 ,we'll h a talk1 ,i said1 j a little fri5dly talk betwe5 y & me4 ,i want to he> y\r op9ions on "s ?+s4 ,!y look$ at me ) int]e/4 ,:y1 ,i said1 :y d y sit quiet 9 s*ool8 ,&rew ,smi? put up 8 h&4 ,please1 sir1 'cause if we don't ! me/] gies u ! /rap4 ,a v s\nd reason1 too1 ,i comm5t$4 ,& n[ ,i want to ask y :y y sometimes want to ?r[ pap]s or slate-p5cils ab\t ! room4 ,please1 sir1 we nev] d t1 said little ,jeannie ,simpson4 ,! me/] wud puni% u1 said ano!r girl4 ,b1 ,i cri$1 surely "o ( y has ?r[n ?+s ab\t ! room8 ,tom ,murray1 ! bad boy ( ! s*ool 7accord+ to ,mac71 put up 8 h&4 ,please1 sir1 ,i did x once1 b ! me/] lick$ me4 ,:y did y d x1 ,tom8 ,tom ?\ght h>d4 ,i didna l ! lesson1 he said simply4 ,i !n w5t on fur!r4 ,n[ ,i want y all to ?9k ?is out3 0 ,tom be+ selfi% :5 he ?rew pap]1 or 0 he unselfi%8 ,ev]yone1 ,tom includ$1 judg$ t ! pap]-?r[+ 0 a selfi% act4 ,i don't agree1 ,i said4 ,tom 0 try+ to d a s]vice to ! o!rs2 y 7 all bor$ by a lesson1 & ,tom /epp$ 9 & took y\r att5tion4 ,un=tunately he also attract$ ! att5tion ( ,mr4 ,macdonald1 b t has no?+ to d ) ,tom's reason = do+ x4 ,tom 0 ! mo/ unselfi% ( ! lot ( y2 he %[$ m good ?an any ( y4 ,! me/] didna ?9k t6 said ,tom1 ) a gr94 ,pet] ,wallace c>efully roll$ a pap] pellet & ?rew x at ,tom4 ,n[1 ,i said ) a smile1 let's ?9k ?is out2 :y did ,pet] ?r[ t pellet j n[8 ,because ! class is bor$1 said a little girl1 & !re 0 a good laugh at my exp5se4 ,righto6 ,i laugh$1 %all we d some?+ else8 b ! class %\t$ ,no6 & ,i proce$$4 ,pet]1 d tell u :y y ?rew t pellet4 ,= fun1 said ,pet]1 blu%+ & smil+4 ,he did x s's ! class wud look at him1 said ,tom ,murray1 & ,pet] hid 8 dim9i%$ head4 ,a wise answ]1 ,tom1 ,i said2 b we are all l t2 we all l to be look$ at4 ,:o is ! be/ at ari?metic8 ,willie ,broon1 said ! class1 & ,willie ,broon cock$ 8 head pr\dly4 ,& :o is ! be/ fight]8 ,tom ,murray1 answ]$ ! boys1 & "o little *ap add$3 ,tom cud fe*t ,willie ,broon wi' "o h&4 ,tom tri$ to look mode/4 ,i w5t r\nd ! class & ) "o exception e *ild _h at lea/ "o bran* ( life 9 :i* he or %e f\nd a s5se ( sup]iority4 ,! exception 0 ,geordie ,wylie1 a small lad ( ?irte5 ) a :ite face & a />v$ appe>ance4 ,! class 7 unanim\s 9 decl>+ t ,geordie _h no tal5t4 ,he canna ev5 spit f> en\gh1 said "o boy4 ,geordie's emb>rassm5t made me *ange ! subject quickly1 b ,i made up my m9d to h a talk ) him lat]4 ,"s ( ! reasons = individual pride 7 /range4 ,jake ,to%'s feel+ ( sup]iority lay 9 ! circum/ance t 8 fa!r _h laid out a gamekeep] :ile poa*+4 ,jock ,wilson _h once f\nd a %ill+2 ano!r boy _h se5 f[] sw9e /ickit a' 9 wan day2 ano!r c\ld smoke a pipe ( ,bogie ,roll )\t sick5+ 7b ,i _h to promise n to tell ! ,me/]74 ,! girls seem$ to f9d _! sup]iority mo/ly 9 lessons1 al?\gh a few 7 pr\d ( _! ne$le-"w4 ,i !n w5t on to ask !m :at _! highe/ ambition 9 life 04 ,! boys %[$ less imag9ation ?an ! girls4 ,six ( !m want$ to be pl\ghm5 l _! fa!rs4 ,to a t[nsman ?is might appe> to be a v mode/ ambition1 b to a boy x means p[] & position2 to drive a pair ( horses t&em fa%ion z !y d on ! ,ea/ ,coa/1 ) ! trac] pranc+ on ! braes2 t is :at be+ a pl\ghman means to a village lad4 ,"o boy want$ to be an eng9e]1 ano!r a cl]k 7'cos he doesna ne$ to tak' aff 8 jaicket to "w671 ano!r a soldi]4 ,n a s+le tea*]6 ,i said4 ,we're no clev] en\gh1 said ,tom ,murray4 ,i turn$ to ! girls4 ,n[1 let's see :at ambition y h1 ,i said hopefully4 ,! result 0 good2 ?ree tea*]s1 two nurses1 "o typi/1 "o lady doctor1 "o 4 4 4 lady4 ,?is 0 ,maggie ,cl>k4 ,%e j want$ to be l "o ( ?ae ladies 9 ! pict]s ) a motor c>4 ,& husb&8 ,i ask$4 ,no1 ,i d9na want a man1 b ,i wud l a lot ( bairns1 %e said1 & !re 0 a snigg] f ! boys :o _h got _! sex education f ! pl\ghm5 at ! ,brig ( ev5+s4 ,ano!r girl rem>k$ t ,maggie's ambition 0 a selfi% "o4 ,b are y n all selfi%8 ,i ask$4 ,! class indignantly d5i$ x4 ,"r1 ,i said1 :at d y say to a composition ex]cise8 ,!y ob$i5tly got out _! composition books1 b ,i told !m t my ex]cise 0 an easy "o4 ,i tore up a few pages into slips & di/ribut$ !m4 ,n[1 ,i said1 suppose ,i give y five p\nds to d :at y l )4 ,write d[n :at y w\ld d ) x1 fold ! pap]1 & h& x 9 to me4 ,!y eag]ly agre$1 & at ! end ( five m9utes ,i _h a hatful ( slips4 ,i !n drew a l9e d[n ! c5tre ( ! blackbo>d4 ,on "o side ,i wrote ! ^w ,selfi%2 on ! o!r ,unselfi%4 ,! class groan$ & laugh$4 ,n[1 ,i said *e]fully1 ?is w prove :e!r ! class is unselfi% or n1 & ,i unfold$ ! fir/ slip4 ,b y'll say we are selfi%6 said a boy4 ,i h no?+ to d ) x1 ,i said2 y are to decide by vote4 ,fir/ p]son 4 4 4 ',i w\ld buy a bicycle'3 selfi% or unselfi%8 ,selfi%6 ro>$ ! class1 & ,i put a m>k 9 ! fir/ column4 ,next pap] 4 4 4 ',scoot]1 knife1 & ! re/ on ice-cream4' ,selfi%6 & ,i put d[n ano!r m>k4 ,next3 4 4 4 ',buy a pair ( boots' 4 4 4 selfi% or unselfi%8 ,! class _h to /op & ?9k "h4 ,selfi%6 said a few4 ,unselfi%1 said o!rs1 'cos he wud be help9' 8 "m4 ,!n we'll vote on x1 ,i said1 & by a majority ( two ! act 0 decl>$ to be unselfi%4 ,we !n _h a run ( knives1 tops1 c&y1 cycles1 & no vote 0 necess>y4 ,!n came a puzzl]4 ,i w\ld s5d e p5ny to ! />v+ babies ( ,g]many4 ,unselfi%6 cri$ ! class 9 "o voice4 ,i 0 j ab\t to put ! m>k 9 ! unselfi% column :5 a boy said3 ,t's selfi%1 cos %e'd feel pr\d ( be+ s--s unselfi%4 ,h[ d y "k x is a %e8 ,i ask$4 ',cause ,i k5 x's ,jean ,wilson1 he answ]$ promptly2 %e has took a reid face4 ,!re foll[$ a breezy debate on ,jean's act4 ,x is selfi%1 said ,m>y1 because :5 y d a k9d action y feel pleas$ ) y\rself1 & x 0 selfi% because if x hadna pleas$ h] %e wud nev] ha' done x4 ,i ask$ = a vote & to my a/oni%m5t ! act 0 decl>$ selfi% by a majority ( ?ree4 ,i suspect t conv5tional ,hun ,hatr$ _h some?+ to d ) ! vot+4 ,! vot+ ov] ,i tott$ up ! m>ks4 ,y h judg$ y\rselves1 ,i said1 & accord+ to y\r own %[+ y z a class are #hg p] c5t4 selfi% & #ac p] c5t4 unselfi%4 ,?is essay 9 composition 0 n orig9al2 ,i got ! idea f ,hom] ,lane1 :o claim$ t x 0 ! be/ introduction to s*ool psy*ology4 ,x is ! be/ way to make *ildr5 ?9k ( _! own behavi\r1 he said1 & my exp]im5t has %[n ?is4 ,:5 ,mac came back ,i said to him2 ,y've got a f9e lot ( bairns1 ,mac4 ,_h y any difficulty8 he ask$4 ,:at d y mean8 ,oh1 ,i half ?\ght !y w\ld try to pull y\r leg1 especially a boy l ,tom ,murray4 ,he is a mo/ difficult *ap1 y "k4 ,tom's a sa9t1 ,i said2 e *ild is a sa9t if y treat him z an equal4 ,no1 ,i _h no difficulty1 b ,i want y to s5d ov] ,geordie ,wylie to me ?is aft]noon4 ,!re is some?+ wrong ) t boy2 he has no ambition & he has "o ( ! wor/ inf]iority complexes ,i h ev] /ruck4 ,i want to h a quiet talk ) him4 ,mac promis$1 & at ?ree o'clock ,geordie came ov] to ! s*oolh\se4 ,i took him into ! p>l\r1 & he sat n]v\sly on ! edge ( a *air4 ,tell me ab\t y\rself1 ,geordie1 ,i said1 b he did n answ]4 ,d y keep rabbits8 ,aye4 ,:at k9d8 ,twa ,himalayas & a half ,patty4 ,keep doos8 ,no4 ,x 0 l draw+ blood f a mile/one4 ,:at d y d :5 y g home at nights8 ,x 0 a long difficult task to get any?+ out ( him4 ,! only fact ( value ,i got 0 t he 0 a great read] ( ,wild ,we/ /ories4 ,i ask$ him to come to me aga91 & he said he w\ld4 ,to-night ,i ask$ ,mac ab\t him4 ,he's a dream]1 said ,mac1 & he's lazy4 ,i am always /rapp+ him = inatt5tion4 ,he's n a manly boy1 nev] plays games1 always /&s 9 a corn] ( ! playgr\nd4 ,does he ev] fight8 ,i ask$4 ,he's a great c[>d1 b !re's "o que] ?+ ab\t him2 :5 any boy *all5ges him to fight he goes :ite ab\t ! gills b he always fights 4 4 4 & gets lick$4 ,mac1 ,i said1 w y d me a fav\r8 ,don't :ack him aga92 x is ! wor/ treatm5t y c give him4 ,he is a poor wee *ap1 & he is badly 9 ne$ ( real help4 ,all "r1 said ! k9dly ,mac1 ,i'll try n to t\* him1 b he irritates me _m a "t4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i _h ,geordie = an h\r ?is morn+4 ,he 0 taciturn at fir/1 b lat] he talk$ freely4 ,he is v mu* afraid ( 8 fa!r1 & he weeps :5 8 fa!r scolds him4 ,?is makes ! fa!r angri] & he calls ,geordie a lassie1 a greet9' lassie4 ,?is je] w\nds ! boy deeply4 ,he is afraid 9 ! d>k4 ,he told me t he 0 puzzl$ ab\t "o ?+2 :5 he goes = 8 milk at night he is nev] afraid on ! outw>d j\rney1 b :5 he leaves ! dairy to come home he is always 9 t]ror4 ,i ask$ him :at he 0 afraid ( & he told me t he always imag9$ t !re 0 a man 9 a *eese-cutt] cap wait+ to murd] him4 ,:at is a *eese-cutt]8 ,i ask$4 ,x is a bonnet ) a big sn\t1 some?+ l a railway port]'s4 ,my fa!r's a port] & he has ane4 ,evid5tly ! man he is afraid ( is 8 fa!r4 ,?is may acc\nt = 8 lack ( fe> :5 he is walk+ f 8 home to ! dairy4 ,!n he is leav+ 8 fa!r2 :5 he />ts to return he is go+ back to 8 fa!r & is afraid4 ,i ask$ him ab\t 8 fights ) o!r boys4 ,he always fe>$ a fight b he w5t ?r\gh ) x s t ! o!r boys %\ld n call him a c[>d4 ,naturally he always lo/ ! battle2 he f\ght ) a divid$ m9d2 :ile 8 less imag9ative oppon5t ?\ght only ( hitt+ & w9n+1 ,geordie 0 pictur+ ! end ( ! fight4 ,i ask$ him if he _h a swee!>t1 & he blu%$ deeply4 ,he told me t he (t5 took fancies = girls1 b !y w\ld n h him4 ,frank ,murray always cut him out2 ,frank 0 a big hefty lad & ! girls l ! beefy manly boy4 ,he does mu* day-dream+1 phantasy+ x is call$ 9 analysis4 ,8 dreams always take ! =m ( conque/s2 9 8 day-dream he is ! be/ fight] 9 ! s*ool1 ! be/ s*ol>1 ! mo/ lov$ ( ! girls4 ,8 night dreams are (t5 t]rify+1 & he has m ?an once dreamt t 8 fa!r & ,macdonald 7 dead4 ,he f9ds comp5sation = 8 weaknesses 9 8 day-dreams & 8 read+4 ,he likes tales ( h]oes :o always kill ! villians & c>ry (f ! h]o9es4 ,x is difficult to "k :at to d 9 a case l ?is4 ,! be/ way w\ld be to *ange ! boy's environm5t1 b t is out ( ! "q4 ,ev5 !n ! e>ly fe>s w\ld g ) him2 he w\ld transf] 8 fa!r-complex to ano!r man4 ,i tri$ to expla9 to ,mac ! condition ( ,geordie4 ,! boy is all bottl$ up2 8 en]gy %\ld be go+ into play & "w1 b in/ead x is regress+1 go+ back to e>ly ways ( adaptation to environm5t4 ,b :at c ,i d ) him8 ask$ ,mac4 ,give him y\r love1 ,i said4 ,he fe>s y n[1 & y\r attitude to him makes him worse4 ,y mu/ nev] puni% him aga91 ,mac4 ,t's all v well1 said ,mac ruefully1 b :at am ,i to d8 ,suppose ,tom ,murray & he talk dur+ a lesson1 am ,i to :ack ,tom & all[ ,geordie to get (f8 ,*uck puni%m5t altoge!r1 ,i said4 ,y don't ne$ x2 x is always ! resort ( a weak tea*]4 ,i c\ldn't d )\t x1 he said4 ,all "r !n1 ,i said we>ily1 b ,i want y to realise t y\r puni%m5ts are mak+ ,geordie a cripple = life4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i w5t d[n & _h a talk ) ,geordie's fa!r4 ,he 0 n v pleasant ab\t x2 inde$ he 0 almo/ unpleasant4 ,!re's no?+ wrong wi' ! laddie1 he said aggressively4 ,he's a wee bit lassie-l & he has no pluck4 ,"h ,geordie ent]$ ! kit*51 & 8 fa!r turn$ on him h>%ly4 ,/>t$ to y] lessons yet8 he dem&$4 ,geordie mutt]$ some?+ ab\t hav+ _h to fe$ 8 rabbits4 ,i'll rabbit ye6 ,get y] books oot ?is m9ute6 & ,geordie crept to a corn] & rummag$ among "s old clo!s = 8 s*ool-bag4 ,i tri$ to be z amiable z ,i c\ld1 & avoid$ controv]sy4 ,i soon saw t fa!r & "m 7 n pull+ well toge!r1 & ,i suspect$ t ! fa!r's h>%ness to ,geordie 0 (t5 a weapon to w\nd ! fond "m4 ,i saw t no?+ ,i c\ld say w\ld d any good1 & ,i took my dep>ture4 ,lat] ,i w5t to see ,dauvit1 & f\nd him alone4 ,i ask$ him to tell me ab\t ! ,wylies4 ,t>n ,wylie is wan o' ! /upide/ m5 9 a t5 mile radius1 said ,dauvit4 ,b he's no /upid :aur money is conc]n$2 !y tell me t he dr9ks aboot half 8 week's wages1 & 8 puir wife has to suff]4 ,t laddie o' !irs1 he 0 born a=e ! m>riage1 & !y tell me t ,t>n wud nev] ha' m>ri$ h] if he hadna be5 fell drunk ! ni*t he put 9 ! banns4 ,?is case ( poor ,geordie %[s :at a complexity !re is 9 human affairs4 ,8 fa!r has a m5tal conflict1 & he dr9ks s t he may get away f reality4 ,! fa!r's dr9k+ & ! son's read+ ( romances are fundam5tally ! same ?+2 ea* is try+ to get away f a reality he d>e n face4 ,no treatm5t ( ,geordie c\ld be satisfactory unless at ! same "t ! p>5ts 7 be+ treat$4 ,v4 ,c>rotty ,broon1 "o ( my old s*ol>s1 came to ,dauvit's %op to-night1 & he talk$ ab\t 8 pigeons 4 4 4 8 doos he calls !m4 ,he keeps a pigeon l(t ( hom]s1 & he sp5ds a consid]able am\nt 9 tra9+ !m4 ,"s f[k ?9k1 he said1 t a hom] w flee hame if ye ?r[ x up five hund] miles awa4 ,i've read ( flights ( sev5 hundr$ miles1 ,i said4 ,c>rotty ,broon *uckl$4 ,i m9d o' a hom] ,i _h1 he w5t on4 ,he 0 a beauty1 a reid *equ]4 ,8 fa!r _h fl[n frae ,london to ,glasg[1 & 8 mi!r 0 a fli] too4 ,weel1 ,i took him doon to ,monibreck on my bike1 & let him (f4 ,i nev] saw him aga92 five mile1 & he cudna f9d 8 way hame6 ,he mu/ ha' be5 %ot1 said ,dauvit1 = ?ae hom]s f9d _! way hame by in/9ct4 ,na1 na1 ,dauvit1 said ,broon1 !y flee by si*t4 ,:5 ye tra9 a hom] ye tak x a mile ! fir/ day1 syne ?ree miles1 syne maybe sev51 t51 tw5ty1 fifty1 & s on4 ,s5d ! pure/ br$ hom] f[] mile )\t tra99' & ye'll nev] see him aga94 ,c>rotty ,broon told u _m int]e/+ ?+s ab\t doos & _! ways4 ,we li/5$ to him because he 0 an au?ority & we knew little ab\t ! subject4 ,! only ?+ ,i k5 aboot doos1 said ,dauvit ) a laugh1 is t :5 ,i 0 a laddie auld ,pet] ,smi? & ,john ,wylie keepit hom]s & !y 7 aye try+ compeetitions 9 flee9'4 ,john 0 gae9' to ,london = 8 summ] holiday1 & s him & ,pet] made a b>ga9 t !y wud flee twa hom]s f ,london4 ,weel1 ,john he got to ,london1 & he ?o*t to himsell t see9' !y _h a bet o' twa pund on ! race1 he wud mak sure o' w9n9'1 & s :at does he d b tak a pair o' %e>s & cut ! w+ o' ,pet]'s doo4 ,:5 ,john cam hame aft] a =tnight's trip he met auld ,pet] at ! /ation4 ',weel1 ,pet]1' says he1 ':a won ! race8' ',y1' said ,pet]2 'y\r doo cam hame ! next day1 b m9e only got hame ?is morn9'4 ,& x has corns on its feet l tatties4' 99 99 99 99 99 ,to-day 0 ,macdonald's ,inspection ,day1 & at d9n] "t he br\ght ov] ,mr4 ,j4 ,f4 ,mack5zie1 ,h4,m4,i4,s41 a middle-ag$ man & ,mr4 ,l4 ,p4 ,sm>t1 assi/ant ,i4,s41 a *e]y y\? fre% f ,ox=d4 ,:5 inspectors d9e ) ! village dom9ie !y nev] m5tion ! ^w education4 ,^! two talk$ a lot1 & all _! conv]sation 0 ab\t m\nta9-climb+ 9 ,switz]l&4 ,!y swopp$ long prosy y>ns ab\t dull incid5ts1 & ,i 0 v mu* bor$4 ,s 0 ,mac1 b he pret5d$ to be int]e/$1 b !n he 0 to see !m aga91 & ,i wasn't 4 4 4 at lea/ ,i pray$ t ,i might n4 ,aft] a "t ,i began to feel t ,i 0 be+ left out ( ! conv]sation1 & ,i wait$ until ,mack5zie paus$ = a brea?4 ,switz]l& is v beautiful1 ,i rem>k$1 b y %\ld see ! ,&es4 ,mack5zie look$ at me coldly4 ,i hav5't be5 to ,s\? ,am]ica1 he said4 ,same "h1 said ,i *e]fully1 b ,i rememb] see+ pictures ( !m 9 ! geography book at s*ool4 ,mack5zie look$ at me m coldly ?an be=e4 ,i don't ?9k he lik$ me1 & :5 ! y\ng] man *uckl$ ,mack5zie gl>$ at him4 ,sm>t _h a s5se ( hum\r4 ,i'm afraid we h be5 bor+ y1 he said to me ) a smile4 ,i'd r li/5 to y two talk+ education1 ,i confess$4 ,mack5zie wav$ ! sugge/ion away4 ,i leave education beh9d :5 ,i walk out ( ! s*ool1 he said 9 gr& mann]4 ,mo/ excell5t rhub>b1 ,mrs4 ,macdonald4 ,home gr[n8 ,& !n we _h t5 m9utes ( g>d5 products v]sus %op gre5s4 ,i admit t ?is inspector _h a g5ius = small talk4 ,we dismiss$ gre5s & ,i l$ ! conv]sation to h5s & ducks4 ,mack5zie did n "k mu* ab\t !m1 & he confirm$ my op9ion ( 8 g5ius = small talk by say+3 ,buff ,orp+tons6 ,!y are nam$ aft] ,orp+ton 9 ,k5t4 ,i rememb] /ay+ a night !re be=e ,i w5t to ,switz]l& 4 4 4 & ! dirty dog took ! conv]sation back to 8 m\nta9 climb+4 ,i made a ge/ure to ! y\ng] man & got him out into ! g>d54 ,:y does he wa/e preci\s "t talk+ ab\t cabbages & dre>y ,swiss inns8 ,i ask$4 ,sm>t laugh$ %ortly4 ,y "k h[ ri* folk talk at table :5 ! s]vants are pres5t8 ,i nodd$4 ,well1 t's ! ,*ief's attitude to tea*]s2 he nev] says any?+ ( any importance :atev]4 ,b :y8 ,he is ( ! old s*ool4 ,he has be5 inspect+ s*ools = =ty ye>s4 ,9 ! old5 days an inspector 0 a sort ( ,almighty2 tea*]s quak$ be=e him because ) a /roke ( 8 p5 he c\ld r$uce _! money grant4 ,to ?is day ! old man treats tea*]s z a k+ treats 8 subjects--) k9dness b ) di/ance4 ,has he any views on education8 ,i ask$4 ,sm>t %ook 8 head4 ,none1 b he has heaps ( views on in/ruction & discipl9e4 ,by ! way1 he ?9ks t ,macdonald's discipl9e is v good4 ,& y8 ,i ?9k x rott51 he said ruefully1 b :at c ,i d8 ,a junior inspector is a nobody2 if he has any views ( 8 own he has to pocket !m4 ,i w\ld *uck out all ?is discipl9e rot & g 9 = ! ,montessori /unt4 ,take my tip & nev] accept an inspector%ip4 ,i won't1 ,i said ha/ily4 ,i lik$ ,sm>t1 & ,i wi% we _h m ( 8 /amp 9 ! inspectorate4 ,:5 we return$ to ! d9+-room ,mack5zie look$ at me ) int]e/4 ,i didn't "k t y 7 ! ,dom9ie's ,log man till ,mr4 ,macdonald told me two m9utes ago1 he said4 ,i am delight$ to meet y4 ,i enjoy$ y\r book v mu* inde$4 ,v amus+4 ,he 0 q affable n[4 ,writ+ a book gives a man a c]ta9 /&+4 ,i fancy x is ! dignity ( pr9t t does x1 & we all h ! pr9t sup]/ition4 ,i f9d myself accept+ /atem5ts 9 books1 :]eas if someone said ! same ?+s to me ov] a d9n]-table ,i %\ld refute !m ) scorn4 ,if x is 9 ,john ,bull x is s6 ,mr4 ,bottomley is a s\nd psy*ologi/4 ,:5 !y 7 dep>t+ ,i said to ,sm>t3 ,yes1 he's v amiable & all t1 b ,i am jolly glad ,i _h ,frank ,mi*ie & n him z my *ief inspector :5 ,i wrote my ,log4 ,sm>t laugh$4 ,my de> *ap1 ,mack5zie w\ld h let y run y\r s*ool 9 y\r own way4 ,b1 ,i cri$1 he doesn't believe 9 fre$om6 ,he doesn't1 b don't y see t he simply c\ldn't h jump$ on y8 ,he w\ld h ?\ght y ei!r a lunatic or a g5ius1 & he w\ld h fe>$ to condemn y 9 case y might turn out to be ! latt]4 ,i "k an art critic 9 ,london1 &1 believe me1 ! poor devil lives 9 t]ror le/ he %\ld damn ! "w ( a new ,augu/us ,john4 ,! ,futuri/s ar5't fl\ri%+ on _! m]its2 !y are fl\ri%+ because ! critics are 9 a holy funk to condemn !m 9 case !y might be arti/s aft] all4 ,i want to meet ,sm>t aga94 ,i l 8 /yle4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i am inde$ a ,dom9ie 9 ,d\bt4 ,:at is education /riv+ aft]8 ,i _c say1 = education is life & :at ! aim ( life is no "o kn[s4 ,psy*o-analysis c cle> up a life2 x c release bottl$ up en]gy1 b x _c say h[ ! releas$ en]gy is to be us$4 ,! analy/ _c advise1 because no man c tell ano!r h[ to live 8 life4 ,freud cle>s up ! pa/1 b he _c cle> up ! future4 ,is !re su* a ?+ z ,re-inc>nation8 ,i wond]4 ,am ,i liv+ ! life t my pa/ lives on e>? fitt$ me =8 ,if s analysis is wrong4 ,if ,i am suff]+ f a sev]e neurosis x is because ,i e>n$ ?is puni%m5t 9 my pa/ lives1 & ,freud has no "r to cure me4 ,he is int]f]+ ) ! plans ( ! ,almighty4 ,if1 z ,i h he>d a ,!osophi/ decl>e1 ! *ildr5 9 ! slums are mis]able because !y fail$ to le>n _! lesson 9 previ\s lives1 !n ! p :o try to aboli% slums are all wrong4 ,i ?9k my ,!osophi/ w\ld argue t ! *>itable p]son is gr[+ 9 grace1 !reby ris+ above 8 previ\s lives4 ,& ?us "o s\l helps ano!r to rise to p]fection4 ,x may be1 & ,i hope x is s1 = !n life w\ld h a mean+4 ,pa9 & w> w\ld !n be less t]rible1 = !y w\ld be b incid5ts 9 ! et]nal unfold+ ( p]fection4 ,yet ,i f9d myself d\bt+4 ,if ,i am ,william ,%akespe>e born aga9 ,i d n "k x1 & ,i am left 9 d\bt z to :e!r ,i may n h be5 ,*>les ,peace in/ead4 ,possibly ,i 0 bo?4 ,!n !re is psy*ical rese>*4 ,i h be5 to a m$ium & h he>d ?+s t all ! psy*o-analysis 9 ! _w _c acc\nt =4 ,i want to believe t ! dead c speak to u1 b :]e are ! dead8 ,i h read ,sir ,oliv] ,lodge's ,raymond1 & ! description ( ! next _w giv5 !re4 ,frankly ,i don't fancy x1 & ,i h no desire to g !re4 ,h[ !n c ,i attempt to educate *ildr5 :5 ! ultimate solution ( life is d5i$ me8 ,i c only /& by & give !m fre$om to unfold4 ,i d n "k :i!r !y are go+1 b t is all ! m a reason :y ,i ought n to try to guide _! foot/eps4 ,?is is ! f9al argum5t = ! abolition ( au?ority4 ,we may beat & break a horse because we selfi%ly require a horse's s]vice1 & accord+ to ! accept$ view a horse has no immortal s\l4 ,we d>e n beat & break a *ild1 = a *ild is go+ to an end t we _c "k4 ,i l ! ,!osophi/ s*ools1 al?\gh ,i d n l all ,!osophi/s4 ,"s ( !m seem to be liv+ ! high] life consci\sly1 & repress+ _! l[] natures4 ,mo/ ( !m d n smoke or dr9k or eat meat or swe> or g to music-halls4 ,t may be liv+ on a high] plane1 b x is n liv+ fully4 ,/ill1 9 _m ways !y are broad-m9d$4 ,9 _! s*ools !y d n =ce ,!osophy d[n ! *ildr5's ?roats2 !y all[ a great am\nt ( fre$om1 b _! s*ools are n free s*ools4 ,!re is a def9ite attempt to m\ld "* *iefly by insi/+ on good ta/e4 ,i am q sure t no head-ma/] ( a ,!osophical ,s*ool w\ld take 8 *ildr5 to see a ,*>lie ,*apl9 film4 ,*>lie is n obvi\sly liv+ ! high] life2 he /&s = ! vulg> side ( life2 he picks up girls & gets drunk 79 ! play7 & is sea-sick & v vulg> ab\t soda-wat]4 ,i f9d myself insi/+ on ! inclusion ( ,*>lie 9 any s*eme ( education because no "o ought to be taught to be %ock$ at sea-sickness & soda-wat] squirt+4 ,*>lie to me is ! antidote to ! high]-plane cr[d2 he & 8 k9d are z ess5tial z ,%elley4 ,i admit t read+ ,%elley is a high] k9d ( pleasure ?an wat*+ ,*ampion ,*>lie1 b no human be+ c safely live on ! high] plane1 & no *ild wants to4 ,education mu/ deal ) all life2 a high] plane diet w produce hot-h\se plants1 beautiful p]haps1 b delicate & artificial4 99 99 99 99 99 ,old ,willie ,murray ! cobbl] _h be5 b$-ridd5 = ov] a ye>1 & :5 ,i dropp$ into ,dauvit's %op ?is morn+ ,m>y ,rick>t 0 tell+ ,dauvit t 8 old ma/] 0 dead4 ,aye1 ,dauvit1 %e 0 say+ :5 ,i ent]$1 ,i'm no ! k9d t speaks ill o' ! deid1 b ,i w say ?is1 t ,wull ,murray _h 8 faults4 ,aye1 & ?\gh he's a corp ! day1 ,i canna p]t5d t he 0 ony fre5d o' m9e4 ,:5 ,m>y _h gone ,dauvit turn$ to me ) a que] smile4 ,dom9ie1 y tell me t y h /udi$ ! sci5ce o' ! m9d1 psy--:at is't y call x8 ,psy*ology1 ,i said4 ,t's ! ^w4 ,weel !n1 dom9ie1 j tell me :y ,m>y ,rick>t _h sic a pick at auld ,willie ,murray4 ,i smok$ = a "t ?\ghtfully4 ,x's difficult1 ,dauvit4 ,i hav5't got en\gh evid5ce4 ,h[ev] ,i ?9k ,i c make a good guess4 ,weel8 ,m>y & ,willie sat 9 ! same class at s*ool8 ,good6 said ,dauvit1 !y did4 ,& ,m>y 0 ,willie's fir/ swee!>t8 ,imphm6 ,m>y lov$ ,willie & he lov$ h]4 ,!y 7 swee!>ts = a long "t1 b ano!r damsel came & /ole ,willie's he>t away4 ,m>y wept bitt] te>s1 b 9 "t %e repress$ h] love 4 4 4 & x *ang$ into hate4 ,dauvit *uckl$4 ,a v nice /ory1 he said1 b1 ye k51 x's j a /ory4 ,y cudna guess ! real reason :y ,m>y hat$ him s mu*4 ,!n :at 0 ! real reason1 ,dauvit8 ,he laugh$4 ,m>y hat$ ,willie ,murray because he a9ce telt h] t %e 0 a silly woman to ?9k t %e cud we> a numb] f[] %oe on a numb] a*t foot4 ,we laugh$ toge!r1 & !n ,i said3 ,dauvit1 :y did y nev] m>ry8 ,y l wom5 ,i fancy4 ,my rem>k made him ?\ghtful4 ,man1 he said1 ,i've (t5 spe]$ ! same "q o' mysel4 ,z a "y man ,i 0 gye fond o' ! lassies1 b 4 4 4 ,i d9na k56 & he broke (f sudd5ly & took up a boot4 ,?ae soles are j pap] noo-a-days1 he gr[l$4 ,i refus$ to let him run away f ! subject4 ,_h y a swee!>t8 ,i ask$4 ,he laugh$ boi/]\sly to hide 8 confusion4 ,doz5s o' !m6 he cri$4 ,!n :y didn't y m>ry "o ( !m8 ,he %ook 8 head4 ,dom9ie1 t's ! "q4 ,he />$ at ! grate = a :ile4 ,!re 0 ,maggie ,adams1 a bonny lassie %e 04 ,man1 ,i m9d :5 ,i took h] to ,kirriemair ,m>ket 4 4 4 ,he sigh$4 ,aye1 man1 dom9ie1 ,i lik$ ,maggie mair ?an ony o' ! o!rs4 ,did %e love someone else8 ,i ask$ s(tly4 ,dauvit took "s "t to reply4 ,no1 man1 ,maggie want$ me4 ,!n ! fault lay on y\r side8 ,y didn't love h]6 ,dauvit br\ght 8 h& d[n on ! bo>d4 ,goad1 man1 b ,i did6 ,i c\ld n und]/&4 ,man1 on ! road hame frae ,kirrie ,m>ket ,i 0 to spe] if %e wud m>ry me 4 4 4 b ,i didna4 ,we smok$ sil5tly = a long m9ute4 ,ye see1 he w5t on sl[ly1 ,maggie 0 a bonny lassie & ,i lik$ to kiss & cuddle h]1 b kiss9' & cuddl9' are a v sma' "p o' m>riage1 dom9ie4 ,!re 0 some?+ 9 ,maggie t ,i 0 aye look9' =1 b cud nev] f9d4 ,aye1 ,i tri$ to f9d x 9 o!r lassies1 b ,i nev] fund x4 ,:at 0 x y want$ to f9d1 ,dauvit8 ,dauvit paus$4 ,ye mi*t call x a s\l1 he said4 ,oh1 aye1 he w5t on1 ,maggie 0 a bonny lassie wi' a he>t o' gold1 b %e hadna a s\l4 ,wud ye l to k5 :at /oppit me spe]9' h] t ni*t z we cam ?r\gh ,zo>8 ,man1 ,i said to mysel3 ,:5 we come to ! toll b> ,i'll tak ,maggie 9 my arms & say3 ',maggie1 ,i want ye1 lassie6' ,he _h to light 8 pipe "h4 ,weelaweel1 we got to ! toll b> & ,i said3 ',maggie1 we'll sit doon on ! bank = a :ile4' ,s we sat doon1 & ,i 0 j try9' to screw up my c\rage :5 %e po9t$ to ! sett9' sun4 ',i'd l a dress l t1 only bonni]1' %e said4 ,man1 dom9ie1 ,i look$ at t sunset wi' its gold & purple 4 4 4 & syne ,i k5t t ,maggie 0 nae wife = me4 ,i k5t t %e _h nae s\l4 ,aft] a "t ,i rem>k$3 ,& s1 ,dauvit1 y are a ba*elor because y 7 a poet6 ,he busi$ himself ) ! pap] sole4 ,maggie m>ri$ ,bob ,wilson ! f>m] o' ,ea/ ,ma9s4 ,aye1 & ! m>riage turn$ oot a happy "o1 = ,bob nev] rose abune neeps & tatties 9 8 life4 ,dauvit sigh$4 ,b ,i sometimes us$ to look at ! twa o' !m :5 _! bairns 7 roond _! knees1 & syne ,i us$ to gie a big ,dawm6 & g+ back to my wee hoose & mak my a9 tea4 ,x doesna pay to hae a s\l1 dom9ie1 he add$ ) a %ort laugh4 ,p]haps y c\ld h giv5 h] a s\l1 ,dauvit1 ,i said4 ,he %ook 8 head ) decision4 ,na1 dom9ie1 a s\l is some?+ ye're born wi'2 if x isna !re x canna be put !re4 ,y say t ,i'm a poet1 & y may be ri*t2 !re may be a wee bit o' ! arti/ 9 me1 & ye nev] he>d o' an arti/ t 0 happily m>ri$4 ,wumman & art are opposites1 & a man canna m>ry bo?4 ,t is true1 ,dauvit4 ,b art is ! fem99e side ( a man's nature2 x is ! woman 9 him 4 4 4 & ! woman is sup]flu\s to him1 = %e becomes ! rival ( ! woman 9 himself4 ,?is ?\ght impress$ ,dauvit4 ,noo ,i und]/& ,rabbie ,burns1 he cri$4 ,rabbie cudna love a wumman because he lov$ ! wumman 9 himsel4 ,%e 0 ! wife t bore 8 bairns--8 poems4 ,he paus$1 & a pa9$ look came to 8 face4 ,!re may be a poet 9 me1 dom9ie1 he said ruefully1 b %e has borne me nae bairns4 ,i am ane o' ! mute +lori\s ,miltons 4 4 4 & ,i wud ha' be5 bett] if ,i _h m>ri$ ,maggie & talk$ aboot neeps & tatties a' my life4 ,y c\ldn't h done x1 ,dauvit1 ,i said z ,i rose to g4 ,f ! door ,i look$ back at ! old man z he />$ at ! f5d]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,"o ( ! analy/s says t ! flirt is suff]+ f a "m complex4 ,he has nev] got ov] 8 infantile love = 8 "m1 & he is always try+ to f9d ! "m aga9 9 wom54 ,h5ce he is l a bee1 sipp+ at "o fl[] & !n fly+ on to ano!r4 ,i suspect t _m a ba*elor is a ba*elor because 8 e>ly love is fix$ on ! "m4 ,few mo!rs realise ! dang] ( coddl+ _! *ildr54 ,i h he>d gr[n m5 dy+ 9 pa9 call on _! mo!rs4 ,x is a h>d task = p>5ts1 b !y mu/ always try to break _! *ildr5's fixation ^u !m4 ,wom5 hav+ fa!r-complexes are common4 ,! o!r day ,i met a girl :o _h no int]e/ 9 "y m52 all h] int]e/ 0 9 m5 ) be>ds4 ,no matt] :at ! conv]sation 0 ab\t %e manag$ to m5tion h] fa!r4 4 4 ,fa!r says6 ,%e w probably m>ry a man twice h] age4 ,x is well-kn[n t boys ( sev5te5 (t5 fall 9 love ) wom5 ( ?irty1 :ile adolesc5t girls usually fall 9 love ) m5 ( ?irty4 ,!y are n really 9 love2 !y are look+ = a sub/itute = ! "m or fa!r4 ,! psy*ology ( ! man ( =ty :o falls 9 love ) ! girl ( sixte5 is m difficult to grasp4 ,i ?9k t 9 mo/ cases ! man's love int]e/ is fix$ away back 9 *ildhood2 (t5 ! girl ( sixte5 is a sub/itute = a belov$ si/]4 ,p]haps on ! o!r h&1 a man ( =ty's pat]nal in/9ct has be5 />v$ s long t he wants to f9d at once a wife & a *ild4 ,few ( u realise h[ mu* ( our love int]e/ is fix$ 9 ! pa/4 ,?9k ( ! m5 :o want to be mo!r$ by _! wives 4 4 4 !y g5]ally address _! wives z ,"m4 ,i "k happily m>ri$ m5 :o are psy*ically *ildr52 "m won't all[ !m to c>ry coals or wa% di%es or bru% clo!s2 %e treats !m z !y unconsci\sly desire to be treat$--z babes4 ,x may be t ,dauvit has a /rong "m complex4 ,he (t5 talks ( 8 "m1 & m ?an once ,i h he>d him say t %e 0 ! be/ woman he _h ev] kn[n4 ,x may be t he 0 unconsci\sly look+ = ! "m 9 ,maggie & ! o!r girls1 & fail$ to f9d h]4 ,maggie's rem>k ab\t ! sunset & ! dress 0 n en\gh to /ifle 8 love decl>ation4 ,! s\l he long$ to f9d 9 ,maggie may h be5 ! s\l ( ! "m he knew z an infant 4 4 4 ! s\l ( 8 ideal woman4 ,! m ,i see ( m5 ! less importance ,i pay to _! consci\s reasons = attitudes4 ,i hate ,br[n2 he nev] wa%es2 ,i dislike ,mrs4 ,smi?2 %e uses bad language4 ,murphy is a rott]2 he has no mann]s4 ,/atem5ts l ^! are rationalisations2 ! real reason = ! dislike lies deep] 9 e case4 ,,vi ,! law c\rts h re-introduc$ flogg+ = crim9als4 ,to ! be/ ( my k no memb] ( ! law pr(ession has prote/$4 ,if !re is a re=m movem5t )9 ! law ,i nev] he>d ( x4 ,! curse ( law is t x works accord+ to prec$5t1 & x is !re=e cons]vative4 ,our judges h& out s5t5ces 9 blissful ignorance ( lat] psy*ology4 ,la/ week a boy ( elev5 0 bir*$ = hold+ up ano!r boy ( n9e on ! highway & dem&+ tupp5ce or 8 life4 ,! attitude ( ! b5* is t fe> ( ano!r flogg+ w prev5t t boy f turn+ highwayman aga94 ,i admit t fe> w cure him ( t special vice1 b :at ! b5* does n "k is t ! boy's anti-social en]gy w take ano!r =m4 ,e act ( man is prompt$ by a wi%1 & v (t5 ?is wi% is unconsci\s4 ,& all ! bir*+ 9 ! _w w n de/roy a wi%2 ! mo/ x c d is to *ange its =m4 ,)\t an analysis ( ! boy no "o c tell :at unconsci\s wi% impell$ him to turn highwayman1 b speak+ g5]ally a boy expresses 8 self-ass]tion 9 t]ms ( anti-social behavi\r only :5 8 education has be5 bad4 ,i believe t all juv5ile del9qu5cy is due to bad education4 ,our s*ools en=ce passivity on ! *ild2 8 creative en]gy is bottl$ up4 ,no boy :o has tools & a b5* to "w ) w express himself by sma%+ w9d[s4 ,del9qu5cy is m]ely displac$ social conduct2 ! motive ( ! little boy :o turn$ highwayman 0 ess5tially ! motive ( ! boy :o builds a boat4 ,ah6 b we h ,indu/rial ,s*ools = bad boys6 ,i sp5t an ev5+ ) an ,indu/rial ,s*ool boy ( ?irte5 n long ago4 ,x 0 an unlovely tale he told me ( 8 life 9 s*ool4 ,i got ! impression ( a build+ half-prison1 half-b>racks4 ,no "o 0 all[$ to g out unless to football mat*es :5 ! s*ool team 0 play+4 ,puni%m5t 0 /]n & frequ5t4 ,"o old guy1 'e s5ds y to ! boss = puni%m5t & says y gave 'im an insubord9ate look1 & y a9't all[$ to d5y wot 'e says4 ,look "h1 ,jim1 ,i said1 suppose ,i took y to a free s*ool to-morr[1 a s*ool :]e y c\ld d :at y lik$1 :at's ! fir/ ?+ y w\ld d8 ,a wild look came into 8 eyes4 ,i'd lay out ! bl>/$ /aff1 he said t5sely4 ,b1 ,i laugh$1 :at w\ld be ! po9t ( lay+ me out if ,i gave y fre$om8 ,:at h y got aga9/ me8 ,oh1 he said1 ,i ?\ght y meant if ,i got fre$om 9 ! ,indu/rial ,s*ool6 ,t s*ool is condemn$2 if a s*ool produces "o boy :o hates & fe>s its tea*]s1 x is a bad s*ool4 ,i ?9k ( ! o!r way1 ! ,hom] ,lane way4 ,hom] ,lane 0 sup]9t5d5t ( ! little ,commonweal? 9 ,dorset4 ,he att5d$ ! juv5ile c\rts & begg$ ! magi/rates to h& ov] to him ! wor/ cases !y _h4 ,he took ! *ildr5 d[n to ,dorset & gave !m fre$om4 ,he refus$ to lay d[n any laws1 & naturally ! beg9n+ ( ! ,commonweal? 0 *aos4 ,lane jo9$ 9 ! anti-social behavi\r2 he became "o ( ! gang4 ,:5 ! citiz5s ?\ght t _! be/ way ( express+ !mselves 0 to sma% w9d[s1 ,lane help$ !m to sma% !m4 ,8 m>vell\s psy*ological insight w be/ be illu/rat$ by ! /ory ( ,jabez4 ,jabez 0 a ?or\ghly bad "*2 he _h be5 ?ief & highwayman1 a bully :o c\ld fight ) sci5ce4 ,he came to ! ,commonweal? & 0 a/oni%$4 ,he f\nd boys & girls work+ h>d all day1 & mak+ _! own laws at _! citiz5 meet+s at night4 ,jabez c\ld n und]/& x1 & n und]/&+ he felt ho/ile4 ,! citiz5s liv$ 9 cottages1 & "o night ,lane w5t ov] to ! cottage 9 :i* ,jabez liv$4 ,!y 7 hav+ tea1 & ,lane sat d[n beside ,jabez4 ,:at are y always gr\s+ ab\t1 ,jabez8 he ask$4 ,don't y l ! ,commonweal?8 ,no1 said ,jabez vici\sly4 ,:at's wrong ) x8 ,x's too respectable = me1 said ,jabez1 & 8 eyes w&]$ to ! table4 ,!m fancy cups & sauc]s6 ,wot's ! good o' ?+s l t to me8 ,i'd l to sma% ! :ole lot o' !m4 ,lane rose f ! table1 walk$ to ! fireplace1 took up ! pok] & h&$ x to ,jabez4 ,sma% !m1 he said4 ,jabez _h all eyes turn$ t[>ds him4 ,he seiz$ ! pok] & sma%$ 8 cup & sauc]4 ,excell5t6 cri$ ,lane1 ,jabez is mak+ ! ,commonweal? a bett] place1 & he pu%$ =w>d ano!r cup & sauc]4 ,^! 7 at once sma%$1 & ,lane proce$$ to %ove =w>d ! o!r di%es4 ,b by ?is "t ,jabez 0 beg9n+ to feel que]4 ,break+ di%es 0 good fun :5 y 7 break+ laws1 b "h !re 0 no law to break1 & ,jabez felt t he 0 do+ a fooli% ?+4 ,he want$ to /op1 b he c\ld n see h[ he 0 to /op ) dignity4 ,=tunately "o ( ! o!r inmates ( ! cottage came to 8 aid4 ,x's all v well = y1 ,mr4 ,lane1 %e said1 b ?is isn't y\r cottage1 & y are mak+ ,jabez break our di%es4 ,jabez hail$ ! idea ) delight2 he n[ _h an excell5t excuse = /opp+4 ,"r y are6 cri$ ,lane *e]fully1 ,jabez w break some?+ else1 & he took out 8 gold wat* & plac$ x on ! table4 ,sma% t1 ,jabez4 ,no1 said ,jabez1 ,i won't sma% y\r wat*4 ,n[ ,jabez _h a say+ t if a man 7 d>$ to d a ?+ & he didn't d x he 0 a c[>d4 ,i d>e y to sma% ! wat*4 ,jabez seiz$ ! pok] aga94 ,:at6 ,y d>e me6 ,yes1 ,i d>e y4 ,he look$ at ! wat* = a few seconds2 !n he ?rew d[n ! pok] & ru%$ f ! room4 ,poor ,jabez 0 kill$ 9 ,france4 ,i saw ! lett]s t he wrote to ,lane f ! front1 & !y 7 ! lett]s ( a dec5t1 good boy4 ,! e>ly hi/ory ( ,jabez 0 "o ( con/ant suppression4 ,au?ority 0 always /epp+ 9 & say+3 ,don't d t6 ,z a result ,jabez at ! age ( sev5te5 0 psy*ically an infant4 ,! infantile desire to break ?+s 0 suppress$1 b x liv$ on 9 ! unconsci\s1 & ye>s lat] ,jabez f\nd himself behav+ l a *ild ( ?ree4 ,! cure 0 to enc\rage him to act 9 8 infantile way2 by sma%+ a few cups ,jabez got rid ( 8 long p5t up infantile wi% to de/roy4 ,discipl9e w\ld h kept ! *ildi% wi% und]gr\nd2 fre$om l$ to ! expression ( ! wi%4 ,hom] ,lane is ! apo/le ( ,release4 ,he holds t ,au?ority is fatal = ! *ild2 suppression is bad2 ! only way is to all[ ! *ild fre$om to express itself 9 ! way x wants to4 ,& because ,i c\nt among my fri5ds boys & girls :o once w5t to ! ,little ,commonweal? z crim9als1 ,i believe t ,lane is "r4 ,i also believe t ! s*ools w come to see t he 0 "r 4 4 4 some:]e ab\t ! ye> #bejj4 99 99 99 99 99 ,conv]sation to-night 9 ,dauvit's %op turn$ on ,spiritualism4 ,dauvit is a firm believ]1 & he (t5 goes to ,dundee & ,ab]de5 to att5d sances4 ,x's j a lot o' ble!rs1 said ,jake ,to% contemptu\sly4 ,:5 ye're deid ye're deid1 & t's a' aboot x4 ,na1 na1 ,dauvit1 !m t sees gho/s is ei!r drunk or daft4 ,t's j y] ignorance1 ,jake1 said ,dauvit4 ,d ye k5 :aur ,brazil is8 ,:a is he8 ask$ ,jake puzzl$4 ,x's no a he2 x's a place4 ,i ask$ ye t "q j to prove t a man t doesna k5 8 a9 _w canna speak wi' ony au?ority o' ! next _w4 ,y] m9d's ow] n>r[1 ,jake2 ye've no vision4 ,na1 na1 ,dauvit1 laugh$ ,jake1 x w9na d4 ,spooks & ?+s is j a curran nons5se1 & no sane man wud believe 9 !m4 ,:at d y say1 dom9ie8 ,i am will+ to believe t ! dead d communicate1 ,i said4 ,jake 0 ?or\ghly amus$4 ,x's a que] ?+1 he said mus+ly1 t ! m eddication a man has ! m he believes 9 rubbi%4 ,"h's ,dauvit "h1 a man t reads ,%akespe>e & ,burns & ,c>lyle1 & ! dom9ie !re t w5t ?r\gh a college1 & ! bo? o' y believe ?+s t ,i /oppit believ9' :5 ,i 0 sax ye> auld4 ,!n !re's ,sir ,oliv] ,lodge1 & ,conan ,doyle4 ,oh1 aye1 ! ,bible 0 q ri*t :5 x said3 ,mu* le>n+ ha? made !m mad4 ,:at d y ?9k happ5s to ! dead1 ,jake8 ,i ask$4 ,z ! tree falle? s x lies1 quot$ ,jake4 ,!re's only ! twa places aft] dea?2 if ye're good ye g to ,heav52 if ye're bad ye g to ,hell4 ,& t's :y ,i say t ?ae messages f ! deid are rubbi%1 cos if a man's 9 ,heav5 he's no go+ to leave a place l t to come doon to speak to a daft auld cobbl] l ,dauvit 9 a wee room doon 9 ,dundee4 ,& if a man's 9 ,hell ! ,devil w tak good c>e t he doesna get oot4 ,i wond]$ to f9d t ,dauvit _h no answ] to ?is4 ,i guess$ t ,dauvit's sil5ce 0 due to 8 e>ly tra9+4 ,he 0 br\ght up 9 ! old /]n ,scots way1 & al?\gh he has n[ reject$ ! old beliefs intellectually1 8 unconsci\s /ill cl+s to !m emotionally4 ,i fancy t if ,i 7 v v ill ,i might g back to my *ildi% fe> ( ,hell-fire1 =1 9 illness old emotions return1 & intellect flees4 ,dauvit w\ld no d\bt react 9 ! same way4 99 99 99 99 99 ,_m p seem to h a decid$ fe> ( psy*o-analysis4 ,a "m writes me f ,london say+ t %e w\ld l to s5d h] girl to my new s*ool1 only %e is afraid t ,i %all attempt to analyse ! *ildr54 ,! fe> ( psy*o-analysis comes f ! g5]al belief t ,freud traces e neurosis to e>ly sex exp]i5ces4 ,:e!r ,freud is "r or n does n conc]n ! tea*]2 he deals ) normal *ildr51 & to try to analyse a normal *ild appe>s to me to be unnecess>y4 ,! tea*]'s job is to see t ! *ildr5 are free f fe> & free to create2 if he does 8 task well he is prev5t+ neurosis4 ,a neurosis is ! outcome ( repression2 ! neurotic is a p]son ^: libido or life =ce is bottl$ up2 he c be cur$ only by lett+ 8 p5t up emotions free4 ,! aim ( education is to all[ emotional release1 s t !re w be no bottl+ up1 & no future neurosis2 & ?is release comes ?r\gh int]e/4 ,! boy :o hates algebra & has to "w examples is gett+ no release :atev]1 = 8 m9d is divid$2 8 att5tion goes to 8 quadratic equations1 b 8 int]e/ is else:]e4 ,h5ce ,i d n ?9k analysis is necess>y :5 *ildr5 are be+ freely educat$4 ,9 an exceptional case a little analysis w d good4 ,if ,i see a *ild unhappy1 moody1 anti-social1 a ?ief1 a bully1 ,i consid] x my job to make an attempt to f9d out :at is at ! back ( 8 m9d4 ,) a "y boy x is n advisable to tell him ! :ole tru? ab\t himself2 ! tea*] discov]s ! tru? by wat*+ ! *ild at play1 by /udy+ 8 wi%es z express$ 9 8 writ+1 by not+ 8 attitude to 8 playmates4 ,:5 he has made 8 diagnosis ! tea*] c !n make ! necess>y *anges 9 ! boy's environm5t4 ,i recall ! case ( ,tommy1 ag$ t54 ,8 class 0 con/ruct+ a ,play ,t[n aft] ! fa%ion set by ,caldwell ,cook 9 8 delightful book ,! ,play ,way4 ,tommy work$ ) en?usiasm1 too mu* en?usiasm1 = he p9*$ ! girls' s& = 8 railway track4 ,! girls object$1 & a regul> wordy battle took place4 ,tommy felt t he 0 beat51 & he ceas$ "w4 ,i 0 n v mu* surpris$ :5 ! girls came & told me t ,tommy 0 %y+ bricks at ! railway l9e he _h be5 s ke5 on con/ruct+4 ,tommy 0 br\ght up be=e ! assembl$ class1 & !y vot$ unanim\sly t he be =bidd5 to approa* )9 t5 y>ds ( ,play ,t[n4 ,tommy gr9n$ malici\sly4 ,t night ! t[n appe>$ to h be5 ! victim ( an e>?quake4 ,i w5t to ,tommy4 ,:y don't y l ! ,play ,t[n8 ,i ask$4 ,because ! girls are too bossy1 he said4 ,x 0 my t[n2 ,i began x1 & ,i don't see :y !y %\ld be 9 x at all4 ,& y want a ,play ,t[n all to y\rself8 ,i ask$4 ,yes4 ,"r ho1 ,i said easily4 ,:y n />t to build "o8 ,8 eyes lit up1 & away he ran to lay 8 f\ndations4 ,he work$ eag]ly all day1 b at night he seem$ dissatisfi$4 ,i hav5't got any railway or h\ses2 ,*ri/o won't l5d me a bit ( 8 railway1 & ,g]da has all ! h\ses4 ,i left him to "w out 8 problem4 ,9 ! morn+ he solv$ x2 ,*ri/o w\ldn't l5d him any rails1 b if ,tommy lik$ he1 ,*ri/o1 w\ld run 8 l9e up to ,tommy's t[n f ! class t[n4 ,tommy readily agre$4 ,9 a week's "t ,tommy's t[n 0 a suburb ( ! bigg] t[n1 & ,tommy 0 appo9t$ ,presid5t ( ! :ole /ate4 ,he sp5t _m an h\r build+ 8 bridges & digg+ 8 tunnels4 ,at fir/ he w\ld all[ no "o to ent] 8 suburb1 b 9 a few days he ceas$ to claim x z 8 own1 & he work$ z a memb] ( ! gang4 ,i ?9k t mo/ anti-social *ildr5 are l ,tommy3 :5 _! self-ass]tion is ?reat5$ !y react ) ho/ility4 ,! cure = !m is to direct _! self-ass]tion to ?+s in/ead ( p4 ,no boy w try to break up a ball game if he has a rabbit hut* to con/ruct4 ,! dang] is t ! tea*] w (t5 /ep 9 :5 ! boy ought to be left to 8 companions4 ,! gang is ! be/ discipl9>ian4 ,"o day a class & ,i 7 writ+ five-m9ute essays4 ,i w\ld call out a ^w or a phrase1 & we w\ld all />t to write4 ,! *ildr5 lov$ ! me?od2 x all[$ s mu* play = orig9ality4 ,= example1 :5 ,i gave ! ^w brok5 "o girl wrote ( h] brok5 doll1 ano!r ( a brok5 tramp1 ano!r ( a brok5 he>t2 a boy wrote a witty essay on be+ /oney broke1 ano!r wrote ( a brok5 w9d[4 ,on ?is day ,wolodia1 a boy ( elev51 did n want to write essays4 ,i call$ out a ^w1 & we />t$ to write4 ,wolodia began to talk l\dly4 ,/op x1 man1 ,i said impati5tly1 y're spoil+ our essay4 ,he gr9n$ & w5t on talk+4 ,oh1 %ut up6 cri$ ,joy4 ,%an't6 he snapp$1 & he w5t on talk+4 ,diana rose ) a det]m9$ air4 ,we'll *uck him out1 %e said grimly1 & ! class seiz$ him & heav$ him out4 ,!n !y b>ricad$ ! door ) desks4 ,wolodia made a big r[ by hamm]+ on ! door1 & z a result we c\ld n proce$ ) our writ+4 ,let him 91 ,i sugge/$4 ,! class prote/$4 ,he'll sit l a lamb = ! re/ ( ! p]iod1 ,i said4 ,!y took away ! desk & ,wolodia came 94 ,he w5t to 8 seat 4 4 4 & n a s\nd came f him dur+ ! re/ ( ! p]iod4 ,?is incid5t impress$ me greatly2 my compla9t1 ,joy's compla9t did n affect him1 b :5 ! gang 0 aga9/ him he 0 defeat$4 ,x 0 a beautiful in/ance ( ! =ce ( public op9ion4 ,cases ( /eal+ %\ld be treat$ by analysis4 ,moral lectures are useless2 ! cause lies 9 ! unconsci\s1 & ! moral lecture does n t\* ! unconsci\s4 ,nor does puni%m5t affect ! root cause ( ! del9qu5cy4 ,! tea*] mu/ dig d[n into ! *ild's unconsci\s 9 ord] to f9d ! cause4 ,an illum9at+ book = all tea*]s & p>5ts to read is ,healy's ,m5tal ,disord]s & ,misconduct4 ,he %[s t /eal+ is v (t5 a symptomatic act4 ,! me*anism ( _m cases is some?+ l ?is3 a *ild has be5 puni%$ = sexual activities2 lat] he breaks into a /ore & /eals an article4 ,sex activities & ?iev+ h ?is 9 common1 t !y are bo? =bidd51 b ! boy has f\nd t mu* m ado is made ab\t sex activities ?an ab\t /eal+4 ,s :5 he is actuat$ by a sexual urge he d>e n indulge x2 b 8 sexual wi% f9ds a sub/itute2 x goes out to ! associat$ =bidd5 ?+ 4 4 4 ! article on ! /ore c\nt]4 ,we see ! same sort ( me*anism 9 ! neurotic pati5t2 %e fe>s h] own sex impulses1 & because %e d>e n admit h] sex wi%es into consci\sness %e projects h] fe> on to dogs or mice or rats4 ,all phobias--fe> ( clos$ places1 fe> ( op5 places1 fe> ( heights--are displac$ fe>s2 ! suff]] is really afraid ( 8 own unconsci\s wi%es4 ,i d n say t all juv5ile /eal+ is due to repress$ sex4 ,/eal+ may mean to a boy a me?od ( self-ass]tion2 x may mean t ?us he rebels aga9/ au?ority ( fa!r & tea*]2 x may be ! result ( any "o ( a doz5 causes4 ,b :atev] ! cause /eal+ is always associat$ ) unhapp9ess1 & ! tea*] mu/ try to cure ! unhapp9ess4 ,9 my ,dom9ie's ,log ,i confess$ t ,i lik$ to *eat ! railway company1 & ,i excus$ x on ! gr\nd t a t5-mile j\rney )\t a ticket is ! only romantic exp]i5ce left 9 a drab _w4 ,t 0 a delightful bit ( rationalisation4 ,! real reason = my del9qu5cy lay 9 my unconsci\s4 ,z a *ild ,i impot5tly rebell$ aga9/ ! au?ority ( p>5ts & tea*]s4 ,lat] 9 life ,i unconsci\sly id5tifi$ ! railway company ) ! au?orities ( my infancy4 ,au?ority said3 ,don't d t or y w be smack$2 ! railway company put up a notice say+3 ,don't travel )\t a ticket or y'll be f9$ =ty %ill+s4 ,my rebellion 0 really a rebellion aga9/ au?ority4 ,?is may seem to be a f>-fet*$ explanation1 b ! fact rema9s t n[ t ,i h discov]$ ! reason ,i h no m desire to *eat ! railway company4 99 99 99 99 99 ,old ,jeems ,broon 0 buri$ to-day1 & ,dauvit w5t to ! fun]al4 ,he came back *uckl+4 ,:at's ! joke1 ,dauvit8 ,i ask$4 ,! burial s]vice1 laugh$ ,dauvit4 ,y k5 :at sort o' a man ,jeems 02 an auld s9n] if !re ev] 0 a s9n] 9 ,t>bonny1 a bad auld scoondrel4 ,weel1 ,jeems hadna be5 at ! kirk = tw5ty ye>s1 & ( coorse ! m9i/] didna k5 ony ?+ aboot him4 ,s :5 he gave ! fun]al pray] he ref]r$ to auld ,jeems z '?is holy man ^: life /&s z an example to ^? /ill t>ry+ 9 ! fle%4' ,goad1 b ,i bur/ oot laugh9'6 ,i did t6 ,_h ,i be5 ! m9i/]1 said ,i1 ,i %\ld c]ta9ly h made a few inquiries ab\t ,jeems4 ,b !re's a bett] /ory ?an t aboot ! m9i/]1 w5t on ,dauvit ) a laugh4 ,mag ,currie's little lassie _h ! diph!ria1 & at ! end o' ! week ! m9i/] 0 ask$ to come oot to tak' a burial s]vice 9 ,mag's b$ room4 ,man1 he 0 eloqu5t6 ,he spoke e>ne/ly aboot ?is fl[] pluck$ be=e x _h rea*$ its full bloom1 ?is innoc5t life s sadly cut (f2 he 0 mo/ t\*9' :5 he turn$ to ,mag & h] man & said3 ',m\rn n = ^? h&s t nev] did wrong1 ! lisp+ tongue t nev] spoke evil1 ! wide pure eyes t look$ _! love = y4' ,i suppose ! p>5ts broke d[n at t1 ,i said4 ,n !y6 *uckl$ ,dauvit1 = ! corpse wasna _! lassie ava2 x 0 auld ,druck5 ,f9dlay ! lodg]4 ,i always l to he> ,dauvit talk ab\t m9i/]s1 & ,i enc\rag$ him to g on4 ,x's a v que] ?+1 dom9ie1 t a body ay wants to laugh at ! wrong "t4 ,9 ! kirk & at a fun]al--t's :5 ,i want to laugh4 ,i m9d :5 ! m9i/] 0 awa' = 8 holidays1 & !re 0 an auld m9i/] frae ! ,heel&s cam' to tak' 8 place4 ,?is auld man _h a habit o' read9' a v]se & syne /opp9' to expla9 x to ! congregation4 ,weel aweel1 wan ,sunday he 0 read9' a *apt] frae ! ,auld ,te/am5t1 & he cam' to ! words3 ',& ! ,angel ( ! ,"l appe>$ unto ,hosea4' ,s he looks at ! congregation ow] 8 specs & he says3 ',! ,angel ( ! ,"l appe>$ unto ,hosea4' ,n[1 pre?r51 we mu/ ask ourselves ?is important "q3 ,0 ,hosea afraid8 ,no1 ,hosea 0 n afraid4 ,y w\ld h be5 afraid1 pre?r52 ,i w\ld h be5 afraid4 ,y & ,i w\ld h begun to quake & tremble1 b ,hosea 0 n afraid2 he 0 a prave man1 a pold man4 ,:5 we are 9 tr\ble let u rememb] t ,hosea 0 n afraid4' ,s ! auld man he turns ow] ! page & reads ! next v]se3 ',& ,hosea 0 sore afraid4' ,:at did he say !n8 ,i ask$4 ,he 0 a cunn9' auld deevil1 said ,dauvit1 = he gave a bit c\gh & says3 ',pre?r51 t is a wrong translation f ! orig9al ,hebrew4' ,i don't ?9k y l m9i/]s1 ,dauvit1 ,i said4 ,he paus$ 9 8 ef=ts to place a new ne$le 9 8 sew+-ma*9e4 ,no1 man1 ,i d n1 he said sl[ly4 ,n[adays ! kirk is j a job l any?+ else2 m5 g 9 = x = ! loaves & fi%es mo/ly1 & _! pray]s nev] get pa/ ! ro(4 ,& z = ! congregation1 ! kirk is j a respectable sort o' society4 ,i tell ye1 dom9ie1 t releegion is deid4 ,at lea/1 ,*ri/ianity is deid4 ,t 0 b\nd to come2 fl[]s1 folk1 hooses1 trees1 horses1 aye1 & nations1 h a bir?1 a y\?1 middle age1 auld age1 & !n dea?4 ,x's ! law o' nature1 & a religion is no exception4 ,true1 ,o philosoph]6 ,i said1 b !re is always new life1 & new life comes f ! old4 ,! fl[] dies & its se$ lives2 man dies & 8 se$ inh]it ! e>?4 ,*ri/ianity dies &--& :at8 ,t may be1 he said ?\ghtfully4 ,x may be t ! new religion w gr[ f ! se$ o' ! deid ,*ri/ianity2 t ,i canna say4 ,:at ,i d say is t m9i/]s are oot-o'-date2 !y are do9' useless lab\r 4 4 4 :5 !y're no fi%9' & curl9'4 ,,vii4 ,duncan came ov] to-night1 & he ask$ my advice ab\t books4 ,:at books w\ld y advise a tea*] to buy8 he ask$4 ,!re are scores ( good books1 ,i repli$1 b no tea*] c af=d to buy !m4 ,i "k1 he said crossly2 ,i've _h a r[ ) ! ,income ,tax p4 ,i ask$ = a rebate ( t5 p\nds = necess>y s*ool books1 & !y w\ldn't all[ x1 al?\gh ,i'm told t if a ,london m]*ant buys a ,london ,directory he gets a rebate = ! am\nt4 ,i agree t x is unju/1 ,i said1 b ! new ,income ,tax proposals all[ tw5ty p\nds a ye> = tea*]s' books4 ,j tell u :at y w\ld advise a tea*] to sp5d 8 tw5ty quid on1 said ,macdonald4 ,x dep5ds on 8 ta/es1 ,i said4 ,if 8 subject is ,hi/ory he w buy hi/ory books2 if 8 subject is behavi\r1 he'll buy psy*ology books4 ,give u an idea ( y\r own libr>y1 said ,duncan4 ,i sat d[n & wrote out a li/ f memory4 ,x ran z foll[s3-- ,,books ,,on ,,education3-- ,! ,play ,way1 by ,caldwell ,cook4 ,! ,pa? to ,fre$om 9 ! ,s*ool1 by ,norman ,mac,munn4 ,:at ,is & ,:at ,might ,be1 by ,edmond ,holmes4 ,montessori's ?ree volumes4 ,an ,adv5ture 9 ,education1 by ,j4 ,h4 ,simpson4 ,,books ,,on ,,psy*o-,,analysis ,,& ,,psy*ology3 ,freud's ,int]pretation ( ,dreams1 ,psy*opa?ology ( ,ev]yday ,life1 ,?ree ,contributions to ! ,sexual ,!ory4 ,jung's ,psy*ology ( ! ,unconsci\s1 ,/udies 9 ,^w ,association1 ,analytical ,psy*ology4 ,fr9k's ,morbid ,fe>s & ,compulsions4 ,maurice ,nicoll's ,dream ,psy*ology4 ,morton ,pr9ce's ,! ,unconsci\s4 ,pfi/]'s ,! ,psy*o-analytic ,me?od4 ,erne/ ,jones' ,psy*o-analysis4 ,f]5czi's ,contributions to ,psy*o-analysis4 ,wilfr$ ,lay's ,! ,*ild's ,unconsci\s ,m9d4 ,moll's ,! ,sexual ,life ( ! ,*ild4 ,adl]'s ,! ,neurotic ,con/itution4 ,b]n>d ,h>t's ,! ,psy*ology ( ,insanity4 ,,cr[d ,,psy*ology3-- ,! ,cr[d 9 ,peace & ,w>1 ,m>t9 ,conway4 ,in/9cts ( ! ,h]d 9 ,peace & ,w>1 ,trott]4 ,! ,cr[d1 ,gu/ave le ,bon4 ,,g5]al ,,psy*ology3-- ,psy*ology & ,ev]yday ,life1 ,swift4 ,textbook ( ,psy*ology1 ,james4 ,! ,boy & ,8 ,gang1 ,puff]4 ,m5tal ,conflicts & ,misconduct1 ,healy4 ,! ,individual ,del9qu5t1 ,healy4 ,rational ,sex ,e?ics1 ,robie4 ,social ,psy*ology1 ,mc,dougall4 ,! ,play ( ,man1 ,groos4 ,t's too mu* = me1 said ,duncan4 ,i c\ldn't af=d a qu>t] ( ^! books4 ,:at books w\ld y recomm5d if y _h to *oose half a doz5 = a h>d-up dom9ie8 ,i ?\ght = a little1 & !n ,i repli$3 ,b]n>d ,h>t's ,! ,psy*ology ( ,insanity1 two bob2 ,fr9k's ,morbid ,fe>s & ,compulsions1 a fir/-rate book on analysis1 a gu9ea2 ,! ,cr[d 9 ,peace & ,w>1 by ,sir ,m>t9 ,conway1 eight & six2 ,healy's ,m5tal ,conflicts & ,misconduct1 t5 & six2 & ,wilfr$ ,lay's ,! ,*ild's ,unconsci\s ,m9d1 t5 & six4 ,b1 cri$ ,duncan1 ,i don't want to set up an asylum6 ,:at's ! good ( books on insanity & morbid fe>s to a tea*]8 ,i expla9$ t ! titles ( ,h>t's & ,fr9k's books 7 mislead+1 al?\gh ! diff]5ce betwe5 ! m9d ( ! lunatic & ! m9d ( ! av]age man is m]ely "o ( degree4 ,b]n>d ,h>t %[s t ! lunatic has ! same faults z we h1 only m s4 ,fr9k's book is badly nam$2 x is an excell5t "w on m9d me*anisms4 ,any tea*] :o reads ^! six books ) und]/&+ w nev] aga9 use a /rap on a pupil4 ,if ,i 7 ,education ,m9i/]1 ,i %\ld pres5t e s*ool 9 ,brita9 ) a copy ( ea* ( ! six4 ,macdonald ask$ if ,i _h any books on hypnotism & sugge/ion4 ,no1 ,i said1 b ,i h read !m ?r\gh a libr>y4 ,i don't believe 9 ei!r because !y d n t\* root causes4 ,we are all suff]+ f bottl$ up infantile emotion1 & analysis goes to ! root ( ! matt]2 x makes :at is unconsci\s consci\s1 & enables ! pati5t to re-educate himself1 to use ! old repress$ emotion up 9 8 daily life4 ,analysis means release4 ,sugge/ion does n t\* ! root repress$ emotion1 & ,i fancy t aft] sugge/ion ! symptom m]ely *anges4 ,a man has a phobia ( cats4 ,by sugge/ion ,i c dispel 8 fe> ( cats1 b ! fe> is transf]r$ to some?+ else1 & he !n has an exagg]at$ fe> ( cat*+ tub]culosis4 ,unless ! anci5t cause becomes consci\s x is n releas$4 ,we see sugge/ion work+ 9 our s*ools daily4 ,by sugge/ion p>5ts & tea*]s =ce ! *ild to inhibit 8 gross sexual wi%es1 & 9 a %ort "t ! *ild accepts ! ideals ( 8 ma/]s4 ,at fir/ he inhibits a desire because fa!r ?9ks x naughty2 lat] he inhibits x because he himself ?9ks x naughty4 ,b ! gross sexual wi% lives on 9 ! unconsci\s 4 4 4 h5ce ! neurosis1 h5ce ! respectable old m5 :o are imprison$ = %[+ gross pictures to *ildr51 h5ce ! frequ5t indec5t assaults on *ildr54 ,all ^! un=tunate p are suff]+ f ! results ( e>ly sugge/ion--! sugge/ion t sex is s94 ,t primitive sex impulses c be sublimat$ ,i admit1 b ! tea*]'s job is n to prea* t sex activities are evil2 8 job is to help ! *ild to use up 8 primitive sex en]gy 9 creative "w4 99 99 99 99 99 ,:at is education's *ief aim8 ,! reply g5]ally giv5 is t education's aim is to help a *ild to live its life fully4 ,yet x seems to me t t reply does n g f> en\gh2 ,i ?9k t ! aim %\ld be to help a *ild to live its cosmic life fully1 to live = o!rs4 ,e human is egoc5tric1 selfi%4 ,no human ev] rises above selfi%ness1 only !re are degrees ( selfi%ness4 ,i buy a motor-cycle because ,i am selfi%2 & y f\nd a hospital = orphans because y are selfi%4 ,x is my pleasure to h a ,sunbeam2 x is y\rs to help ! poor4 ,y\r selfi%ness has become altruism2 t is1 9 pleas+ y\rself y h manag$ to please o!rs4 ,! aim 9 education is n to aboli% selfi%ness2 x is to educe ! selfi%ness t is altrui/ic4 ,h5ce x may be said t education's *ief aim is to tea* "o h[ to love4 ,no1 t won't d2 no "o c tea* ano!r h[ to love2 ! tea*]'s job is to evoke love4 ,?is he c d only by lov+4 ,if ,i hate my pupils ,i evoke hate f !m2 if ,i love !m ,i evoke love f !m 9 return4 ,is x possible to love y\r neighb\r z y\rself8 ,x is :5 y "k y\rself4 ,y hate 9 o!rs :at y hate 9 y\rself1 & y love 9 o!rs :at is lovable 9 y\rself4 ,s t 9 lov+ y\r neighb\r y are lov+ y\rself4 ,if1 !n1 ! tea*]'s fir/ aim is to evoke ! love ( 8 pupils1 he mu/ "k himself1 & kn[+ mu/ love himself4 ,e day pupils are suff]+ because ( ! tea*]'s hatr$ ( himself4 ,dom9ie ,br[n rises 9 ! morn+ surly & unhappy4 ,he compla9s ab\t ! bacon & eggs at breakfa/ 4 4 4 no1 ! r$ h]r+2 dom9ies _c af=d bacon & eggs 4 4 4 & ,mrs4 ,br[n makes unpleasant rem>ks4 ,br[n crosses ! road to s*ool ) ?und] on 8 face1 & ! *ildr5 %iv] 9 t]ror all morn+4 ,if ,br[n c\ld sit d[n calmly to ?9k out 8 bad mood1 he w\ld realise t he 0 puni%+ ! *ildr5 because he 0 wor/$ 9 8 ^w battle ) 8 wife4 ,& he w\ld be q wrong4 ,! tru? w\ld be t he 0 puni%+ ! *ildr5 because he 0 at w> ) himself4 ,8 e>ly morn+ ugly mood betray$ a m5tal conflict4 ,hat+ himself1 he hat$ 8 wife2 8 hate evok$ h] hate 4 4 4 & ?us ! circle 0 complet$4 ,we might trace all ! futilities1 all ! /upidities ( mank9d1 all ! w>s & crimes & inju/ices to man's ignorance ( self4 ,to "k all is to =give all4 ,*ri/ condemn$ no "o because he 0 at peace ) himself4 ,yet1 ,i sudd5ly rememb] t ,he :ipp$ ! money-*ang]s out ( ! ,temple4 ,?is incid5t is com=t+1 = x %[s t ! mo/ lovable man :o ev] liv$ betray$ "o human frailty on "o occasion at lea/4 ,b n[ ,i am prea*+ aga94 99 99 99 99 99 ,i w5t to see ,*>lie ,*apl9 9 ,%\ld] ,arms la/ night4 ,*>lie is an arti/ ( high quality2 = once ,i ?9k z ! cr[d ?9ks4 ,b ,i leave ! cr[d :5 x comes to appreciat+ ! mov+ human dramas 9 five p>ts4 ,! c9ema mu/ be reckon$ ) 9 any educational s*eme4 ,"o may le>n m ab\t cr[d psy*ology f att5dance at c9emas ?an f read+ books on cr[d psy*ology4 ,! c9ema is popul> because x enc\rages day-dream+ or phantasy4 ,!re are two k9ds ( ?9k+1 reality ?9k+ & phantasy or day-dream+4 ,phantasy+ is ! easi] ( ! two2 ,i c sit = h\rs build+ ca/les 9 ,spa91 & ,i nev] gr[ tir$2 b if ,i h to sit d[n & ?9k out ! ,!ory ( ,quadratics ,i soon become we>y4 ,9 reality ?9k+ ! intellect is active1 b 9 day-dream+ emotion is 9 control4 ,day-dream+ gets n[h]e2 ! asylums are full ( day-dream]s :o sp5d _! h\rs con/ruct+ beautiful phantasies4 ,9 *ildhood phantasy is supreme4 ,bobby turns ! nurs]y into a jungle2 ! s(a is a tig]1 ! *airs are lions1 ! rock+-horse is an elephant4 ,x is all real to him4 ,& 9 lat] ye>s ,bobby (t5 returns to 8 *ildi% phantasy+4 ,we all d4 ,:at "y lov] has n phantasi$ a burn+ mansion :]e 8 lady love is imprison$8 ,h we n all clamb]$ up ! wat] pipes & rescu$ h] f ! flames8 ,! _w ( ! !atre is a phantasy _w4 ,) ! ris+ ( ! curta9 we =get our outside life2 we live ! "p ( ! h]o or ! h]o9e4 ,to ?is day ,i always leave a !atre ) a vague depression ( spirits2 ev]yday humdrum life *ills me :5 ,i come out to ! /reet4 ,reality is always difficult to face4 ,! great popul>ity ( ! c9ema is due to ?is human desire = make-believe4 ,c9ema-go+ is a regression to ! infantile2 we return to ! *ildi% phase :]e ! wi% 0 all p[]ful4 ,9 ! c9ema ! villa9 is always wor/$2 ! wrong$ h]o9e always falls into ! h]o's arms at ! end4 ,life = mo/ ( u means trials & sorr[s & conflicts1 & we long to return to ! nurs]y phase :]e life 0 :at we wi%$ x to be4 ,! c9ema & ! public-h\se are ! mo/ conv5i5t doors by :i* we c regress4 ,! mov+ drama is ! o!r side ( ! indu/rial picture4 ,life = ! masses means dirt & disease1 ugly factories1 sordid homes1 mean /reets4 ,! mov+ drama takes ! masses away f grim reality2 !y see beautifully g[n$ wom5 9 draw+-rooms2 !y see ! ,k+ review+ 8 regim5ts2 !y see wild & free c[boys *as+ ,r$ ,indians4 ,= two h\rs !y live 4 4 4 & !n !y g out aga9 into _! _w ( m]e exi/5ce4 ,& x is all wrong1 tragically wrong4 ,! c9ema craze means t life is too ugly to face2 x means t ! masses are flee+ f reality & to flee f reality is fatal4 ,day-dreams are laudable only :5 !y come true4 ,if ! masses day-dream$ ( an economic ,utopia & =?) set ab\t build+ a ,new ,j]usalem1 _! phantasies w\ld become realities2 b ! mov+ human drama nev] leads to build+2 x is raw :isky swall[$ to br+ oblivion4 ,! mov+ human drama w live & fl\ri% s long z mank9d tol]ates ! slav]y ( indu/rialism4 ,x is a p[]ful weapon = capitalism2 l ! *ur* & ! public-h\se1 x keeps ! wage-slaves quiet4 99 99 99 99 99 ,to-night ! conv]sation 9 ,dauvit's %op turn$ to ! subject ( hon\rs4 ,!y tell me1 said ,jake ,to%1 t y c buy a knigh?ood1 or a pe]age = t matt]4 ,yea1 man6 said ,willie ,simpson1 ! jo9] & und]tak] f ,tillyma9s4 ,s !re's no muckle *ance o' y gett+ ane1 ,willie1 said ,dauvit4 ,! jo9] smok$ ?\ghtfully = a :ile4 ,na1 ,dauvit1 he said1 !re's little *ance o' an und]tak] gett9' a title4 ,y w\ld ?9k na t ! man t c(f9$ ! likes o' ,lloyd ,george wud get a knigh?ood4 ,dauvit cackl$4 ,hon\rs are sold1 z ,jake says2 !y are nev] giv5 = public s]vices4 ,i am afraid ! joke 0 lo/ on mo/ ( ! assembly4 ,jake fail$ to see x4 ,x is said t ,jake has be5 kn[n to laugh at a joke only once1 & t 0 :5 ! e>? gave way b5ea? ! m9i/]'s feet :5 he 0 conduct+ a s]vice at a grave-side1 & he fell into ! op5 grave4 ,und]tak9'1 cont9u$ ! jo9]1 is a v]ra que] trade4 ,jake %iv]$4 ,i d9na k5 h[ ye c d x1 he said2 man1 x wud gie me ! scunn]s4 ,man1 ye soon get accu/om$ to x1 said ! jo9]4 ,( c\rse1 x has its limitations2 ye canna v]ra weel adv]tise 9 ! front page o' ,! ,daily ,mail1 b1 man1 x's :at ye mi*t call a safe trade4 ,h[ safe8 ,i ask$4 ,oh1 ye nev] ne$ to worry aboot y] cu/om2 x's aye !re4 ,noo 9 o!r l9es ! laws o' supply & dem& are tricky4 ,i m9d a gey puckle ye>s syne !re 0 a craze = walk9'-/icks wi' ebony h&les4 ,weel1 ,i w5t doon to ,dundee & bo*t t5 pund wor? o' ebony1 & a=e ! wood 0 deliv]$ ! fa%ion _h *ang$1 & ! m5 7 all buy9' *eese-cutt] bonnets1 s "h 0 ,i left wi' t5 pund wor? o' ebony on my h&s 4 4 4 & if ,i hadna sold x to ,davie ,lamb ! cab9et-mak] = ?irte5 pund ,i mi*t ha' lo/ ! money4 ,noo1 9 my trade !re's no sudd5 *ange o' fa%ion z ye mi*t say2 ! dem& is :at ye mi*t call con/ant1 & t's :at makes me say x is a safe trade4 ,dauvit w9k$ to me surreptiti\sly4 ,noo1 jo9]1 he said1 w ye tell me wan ?+8 ,i want to k5 ! inn] work9's o' an und]takk]'s m9d4 ,:5 somebody is v]ra ill1 :at's y\r attitude8 ,i mean to say1 d ye sort o' look on ! illness wi' hope or :at8 ,:5 ye see a f9e set-up man on ! road1 d ye look at him wi' a pr(essional eye & say to y]sell3 ',sax feet by twa2 a bonny corp6'8 ,i'm no s bad z t1 ,dauvit1 he laugh$1 ?\gh ,i d9na m9d say9' t ,i've sometimes be5 a wee bit disappo9t$ :5 somebody got bett]4 ,on ! o!r h&1 :5 big ,tamson 0 badly1 ,i keepit pray9' t he wud get bett]4 ,an unbus9esslike ?+ to d1 ,i laugh$4 ,aweel1 said ! jo9]1 big ,tamson weigh$ aboot saxte5 /one1 & at ! "t ,i hadna ! wood4 ,i d9na l to he> aboot ?+s l t1 said ,jake ,to% n]v\sly2 ?+s l t give me ! creeps1 & besides x's no a prop] way to speak4 ,dauvit turn$ to me4 ,man1 dom9ie1 x's a que] ?+1 b ! m religi\s a man is ! less he likes to he> aboot dea?4 ,jake "h is an eld] o' ! auld kirk2 he's on ! /raight & n>r[ pa?2 he's go+ /raight to heav5 :5 he dees 4 4 4 & ,i nev] saw onybody s fe>$ o' dea? z ,jake is4 ,h[ wud ye expla9 t8 ,i ?9k1 ,i repli$1 t x is due to ! fact t ,jake has be5 br\ght up 9 ! fe> ( ! ,"l4 ,exactly1 nodd$ ,dauvit4 ,x's my belief t mo/ religi\s f[k are religi\s n becos !y want specially to play h>ps 9 ! next _w1 b becos !y d9na want to be roa/$4 ,dauvit's philosophy comes pretty ne> t ( ,edmond ,holmes4 ,9 ,:at ,is & ,:at ,might ,be ,holmes argues t our education sy/em is f\nd$ on ! ,old ,te/am5t4 ,man is a s9n]1 prone to evil2 a /]n angry ,god *a/ises him :5 he transgresses4 ,education treats *ildr5 z s9n]s2 x puni%es ! wrongdo]4 ,i believe ,holmes is "r1 only he does n trace back education f> en\gh4 ,! ,god ( ! ,old ,te/am5t 0 a man-made ,god 7,jung says t man makes 8 ,god 9 8 own image2 8 ,god is 8 ego-ideal74 ,! g5esis ( education is n ! ,god ( ! ,old ,te/am5t2 x is ! unconsci\s wi% ( ! primitive m5 :o inv5t$ t ,god4 ,! religion ( ! ,old ,te/am5t is a fa!r complex religion2 ,god is ! hat$ & fe>$ fa!r1 ! au?ority :o puni%es1 ! provid] ( food & clo?+1 ! mak] ( laws4 ,au?ority always makes ! gov]n$ inf]ior & dep5d5t2 ! man ) a fa!r complex _c /& alone2 he mu/ always flee to 8 fa!r or fa!r sub/itute :5 he meets a difficulty4 ,?us does ! ,*ri/ian act2 he seeks ! ,fa!r2 he places 8 burd5 on ! ,"l2 he avoids responsibility4 ,! ,hebraic religion & our mod]n education bo? dem& t ! individual %all avoid responsibility2 ! good ,*ri/ian & ! good s*oolboy mu/ obey ! ,law4 ,i ?9k t if ! _w is to be free ! *ur* & ! s*ool mu/ aim at break+ ! p[] ( ! ,fa!r4 99 99 99 99 99 ,look "h1 ,mac1 ,i said la/ night1 ,i am go+ to pay y = my bo>d4 ,mac prote/$ vigor\sly4 ,y'll d no?+ ( ! k9d1 he said firmly4 ,i w5t to ! kit*5 & made ! (f] to 8 wife1 & %e also prote/$4 ,?is morn+ ,i cycl$ to ,dundee & b\ght a knife-clean] & a vacuum clean]4 ,!y arriv$ to-night1 & ,mrs4 ,mac gave a gasp ( delight4 ,mac tri$ to fr[n1 b he c\ld n manage x4 ,bo? prote/$ aga9/ :at !y call$ my idiotic k9dness1 b _! prote/s 7 half-he>t$4 ,x is a /range ?+ t money itself is consid]$ a sordid ?+4 ,:y %\ld ,mac refuse five p\nds ) ang]1 & accept a t5 p\nd gift ) pleasure8 ,if anyone wants to /udy ! psy*ological mean+ ( money ,i recomm5d ,*apt] ,,xl4 9 ,dr4 ,erne/ ,jones' ,psy*o-analysis4 ,9 ! unconsci\s1 at any rate1 money is assur$ly fil?y lucre4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a tea*] %\ld "k v little ab\t ! subject he pr(esses to tea*4 ,9 my ,london s*ool ,i succe$$ a l9e ( excell5t tea*]s ( draw+4 ,i _h n be5 long 9 ! s*ool :5 ,di1 ag$ #ae1 look$ ov] my %\ld] "o day & said3 ,rott56 ,y c't draw = nuts6 ,a week lat] ,malcolm look$ at a wat] col\r ( m9e4 ,y've got a horrible s5se ( col\r1 he said brightly4 ,!n ,i began to wond] :y ev]yone 9 s*ool 0 mu* m ke5 on draw+ & pa9t+ ?an !y _h ev] be5 9 ! days ( ! skill$ tea*]s4 ,! conclusion ,i came to 0 t my bad draw+ enc\rag$ ! *ildr54 ,i rememb]$ ! beautiful copy-book headl9es ( my boyhood1 & ,i recall$ ! hopelessness ( ev] rea*+ ! /&>d set by ! li?ograph]s4 ,no *ild %\ld h p]fection put be=e him4 ,! tea*] %\ld nev] try to tea*2 he %\ld "w alongside ! *ildr52 he %\ld be a co-work]1 n a model4 ,mo/ tea*]s set !mselves on a p$e/al4 ,!y ?9k t !y lose dignity if !y are n able to answ] e "q t a *ild puts to !m4 ,"o result is t ! *ild develops a dang]\s inf]iority complex4 ,i knew "o boy :o 0 a duff] at ma!matics4 ,8 weakness 0 due to ! inf]iority he felt :5 he saw ! le>n$ ma!matical ma/] juggle ) figures z easily z a conjur] juggles ) billi>d balls4 ,! little *ap lo/ all hope1 & :5 he work$ problems he work$ solely to escape puni%m5t4 ,! difficulty is t if a tea*] works at a subject ye> aft] ye> he is b\nd to become an exp]t4 ,! only rem$y ,i c ?9k ( is to make ea* tea*] take up a new subject at ! beg9n+ ( e s*ool ye>4 ,by ! "t t he _h be5 ma/] ( ,ma!matics1 ,hi/ory1 ,draw+1 ,engli%1 ,fr5*1 ,g]man1 ,lat91 ,geography1 ,*emi/ry1 ,physics1 ,psy*ology1 ,physiology1 ,eurhy?mics1 ,music1 ,woodwork1 x w\ld be "t to retire 4 4 4 ) a p5sion or a psy*osis4 ,! late ,sir ,william ,osi] said t a man 0 too old at =ty2 my exp]i5ce leads me to conclude t _m a tea*] is too old at tw5ty4 ,i sometimes ?9k t e man has a c]ta9 def9ite psy*ic age fix$ = him by ! ,almighty be=e he is born4 ,i "k a man ( sev5ty :o is psy*ically five ye>s old1 & he w nev] gr[ old]4 ,i "k a boy ( t5 :o is psy*ically sixty ye>s old1 & he w nev] gr[ y\ng]4 ,psy*o-analysis is do+ a lot ( good1 b ,i fe> t x may d a lot ( h>m1 =1 "o f9e day ,pr(essor ,freud or ,dr4 ,jung w get hold ( ,pet] ,pan1 take him by ! back ( ! neck1 & say3 ,my lad1 y've got a fixation some:]e2 y are ! sup]-regression-to-!-infantile specim52 y've got to be analys$4 ,& !n ,pet] w gr[ up & read ,! ,daily ,news & own an allotm5t & a season ticket4 ,:5 we "k all ab\t psy*ology1 ! _w w be r dull4 ,! ,freudians h said t ! play ( ,hamlet is ! result ( ,%akespe>e's ,o$ipus ,complex4 ,if ,%akespe>e _h n _h an unconsci\s hatr$ ( 8 fa!r1 ,hamlet w\ld nev] h be5 writt54 ,9 o!r words1 if ,bacon _h discov]$ ! psy*ology ( ! unconsci\s1 ,%akespe>e might h be5 analys$ & =?) might h gone 9 = keep+ bees in/ead ( writ+ plays4 ,x is ! neurotic :o leads ! _w2 he is a rebel & he is an ideali/4 ,yet :5 y analyse him y f9d :at a poor devil he is4 ,8 noble crusade aga9/ vivisection is due to ! abnormal /ra9 ( cruelty he is repress+ 9 himself2 8 passion = ,socialism comes f 8 infant fe> ( & rebellion aga9/ 8 fa!r4 ,! ard5t suffragette :o sma%es w9d[s 9 a j cause is m]ely do+ s because ! vote is a symbol ( fre$om f an arrogant husb&4 ,:at ,i want to "k is ?is3 ,9 ! ye> #ejjj1 :5 ev]yone is free f repressions & suppressions1 w !re be any rebels to spur humanity on8 ,b !n if humanity is free f unconsci\s urges !re w be no ne$ = rebels1 = !re w be no crime or prison or w>s or politicians4 ,e man w be a sup]man4 ,i firmly believe t ,freud's discov]y w h a great] influ5ce on ! evolution ( humanity ?an any discov]y ( ! la/ t5 c5turies4 ,freud has begun ! road t leads to sup]man1 &1 al?\gh ,jung & ,adl] & o!rs h begun to lead sid]oads (f ! ma9 track1 ! sid]oads are all lead+ =w>d4 ,!irs is a great message ( hope4 ,& yet1 n9ete5 hundr$ ye>s ago ,jesus ,*ri/ gave ! _w a ,new ,psy*ology 4 4 4 & none ( u h tri$ to apply x to our s\ls4 ,,viii4 ,mac came across a vulg> ^w 9 a composition he 0 correct+ to-night1 & x seem$ to al>m him4 ,he c\ld n und]/& :y ,i laugh$1 & ,i expla9$ to him t ,i lik$ vulg>ity4 ,i rememb] :5 a high-m9d$ "m came into my class-room 9 ,hamp/ead4 ,! highe/ class 0 writ+ essays4 ,on h] ask+ :at ! subject 01 ,i repli$ t ea* pupil _h a diff]5t subject4 ,%e walk$ r\nd & look$ ov] _! %\ld]s4 ,i saw ! lady's eyebr[s g up z %e read titles su* z ^!3--,i ,gr[ ,=ty ,feet high 9 ,"o ,night2 ,i ,edit ! ,gre5l& ,morn+ ,fro/ 7! news ?is boy gave 0 delightful72 ,i ,int]view ,noah = ! ,daily ,mail 7photos on back page74 ,%e nodd$ approv+ly :5 %e read ! titles ( ! m s]i\s essays4 ,!n ,i saw h] adju/ h] spectacles 9 great ha/e2 %e 0 look+ ov] ,muriel's %\ld]4 ,mr4 ,neill1 %e gasp$1 d y ?9k ?is a suitable subject = a girl8 ,i glanc$ at ! title2 x 02 ,autobiography ( ,my ,nose4 ,er--:at's wrong ) x8 ,i said falt]+ly4 ,x l5ds itself too readily to vulg>ity1 %e said4 ,i pick$ up ! book1 & toge!r we read ! op5+ words4 ,:5 fir/ ,i began to run 4 4 4 4 ,! high-m9d$ lady left ! room hurri$ly4 ,i lov$ t class4 ,(t5 ,i wi% t ,i _h kept _! essays4 ,"o day we _h a five m9ute essay on ! subject3 ,wait+ = ,my ,cue4 ,lawr5ce wrote ( /&+ on ! /eps 9 a cold sweat ( fe>4 ,he _h only five words to say--,! c>riage waits1 my "l1 b he _h nev] act$ be=e4 ,8 cue 03 ,ho6 ,:o comes "h8 ,at la/1 he wrote1 ,i he>d ! fateful words3 ',ho6 ,:o comes "h8' ,i c\ld n move2 ,i /ood trembl+ on ! /airs4 ',get on1 y idiot6' :isp]$ ! /age manag] savagely1 b /ill ,i c\ld n move4 ',ho6 ,:o comes "h8' repeat$ ! fool on ! /age4 ,/ill ,i c\ld n move a /ep4 ',ho6 ,:o comes "h8' ,sudd5ly ,i became aw>e ( a di/urbance 9 ! auditorium4 ,! noise increas$1 & !n ,i he>d ! agonis+ words3 ',fire6 ,fire6' ,panic foll[$1 & cries ( t]ror rang out4 ,b ,i 4 4 4 ,i jump$ on ! /age & cri$3 ',hurrah6 ,hoo-bl9k+-rah6' ,x 0 ! happie/ mom5t ( my life4 ,sydney took a diff]5t l9e4 ,h] cue 0 ! s\nd ( a /age kiss4 ,boldly %e walk$ on1 & ! /age lov]s gl>$ at h]1 = %e arriv$ be=e ! kiss 0 f9i%$ or r prop]ly begun4 ,! audi5ce *uckl$4 ,at ! next p]=mance %e det]m9$ to be less punctual4 ,%e he>d ! smack ( ! kiss1 b %e did n move4 ,z %e wait$ %e he>d ! audi5ce ro>+ ) laught]1 & !n %e realis$ t ! poor lov]s _h be5 /&+ kiss+ ea* o!r = a full five m9utes4 ,i mu/ write to ^! de> old *ildr5 to ask if !y kept _! essays4 99 99 99 99 99 ,duncan 0 9 to-night1 & he told a s*ool /ory t 0 new to me4 ,9 a c]ta9 c\ncil s*ool x 0 ! cu/om = tea*]s to write d[n on ! blackbo>d any in/ructions !y might h = ! janitor be=e !y left at night4 ,"o night he came 9 & read ! words3 ,f9d ! ,l4,c4,m4 ,good graci\s6 he gr[l$1 has t dam ?+ gone & got lo/ aga98 ,t v]sion 0 new to me4 ,my own v]sion ran ?us3-- ,little ,willie is do+ 8 home lessons1 & he asks 8 fa!r to help him ) a sum4 ,! fa!r takes ! slate 9 8 h& & reads ! words3 ,f9d ! ,g4,c4,m4 ,good heav5s6 he cries1 hav5't !y f\nd t blam$ ?+ yet8 ,!y 7 hunt+ = x :5 ,i 0 at s*ool4 ,i ?9k bo? v]sions are v good4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i h a /rong ,montessori complex4 ,i f9d myself be+ critical ( h] sy/em1 & ,i h (t5 wond]$ :y4 ,i us$ to ?9k t my dislike ( ,montessori 0 a projection3 ,i dislik$ a lady :o rav$ ab\t ,montessori1 & ,i fanci$ t ,i _h transf]r$ my dislike ( ! lady to poor ,montessori4 ,b n[ ,i refuse to accept t explanation2 x is n good en\gh = me2 !re mu/ be some?+ deep]4 ,i %all try to discov] t some?+ deep]4 ,:5 ,i fir/ read ,montessori's books ,i said to myself3 ,%e is devoid ( hum\r4 ,?is to me sugge/s a limitation 9 art1 & ,i feel t ,montessori is always a sci5ti/ b nev] an arti/4 ,h] sy/em is highly intellectual1 b sadly lack+ 9 emotionalism4 ,?is is se5 9 h] attitude to phantasy4 ,%e w\ld probably argue t phantasy is bad = a *ild1 b x is a fact t mu* ( a *ild's life is liv$ 9 phantasy4 ,phantasy is a means ( gratify+ an unfulfill$ wi%4 ,! kit*5-maid 9 h] day-dream m>ries a pr9ce1 &1 z ,maurice ,nicoll says 9 8 ,dream ,psy*ology1 to de/roy h] phantasy )\t putt+ some?+ 9 its place is dang]\s4 ,to a *ild1 z to ,c9d]ella1 phantasy is a means ( ov]com+ reality4 ,fa!r bullies ,willie & ! boy retires into a day-dream _w :]e he becomes an all-p[]ful p]son 4 4 4 h5ce ! fairy tales ( giants 7fa!rs7 kill$ by little ,jacks4 ,9 lat] life ,willie takes to dr9k or id5tifies himself ) ! h]o ( a c9ema drama4 ,! extreme =m ( phantasy is insanity1 :]e ! pati5t completely goes ov] to ! unreal _w & becomes ! ,que5 ( ! ,_w4 ,& x might be object$ t phantasy+ is ! fir/ /age ( insanity4 ,yes1 b x is ! la/ /age ( poetry4 ,col]idge's ,kubla ,khan1 "o ( ! mo/ glori\s poems 9 ! language1 is pure phantasy4 ,i r fe> t "o day a gr[n-up ,montessori *ild w prove conclusively t ! feet ( ,maud did n1 :5 !y t\*$ ! mead[s1 leave ! daisies rosy4 ,no1 ! ,montessori _w is too sci5tific = me2 x is too ord]ly1 too didactic4 ,! "n didactic app>atus fright5s me4 ,i quote a s5t5ce f ,! ,new ,*ildr51 by ,mrs4 ,radice4 ',p] c>ita6 ,get up at once6' %e 7,montessori7 has exclaim$ be=e n[ to a consci5ti\s tea*] f\nd di%evell$ on ! gr\nd ) a class ( little ,bol%evi/s sitt+ on top ( h]4 ,9 heav5's "n1 ,i ask1 :y get up8 ,life is m ?an meat1 & education is m ?an mat*+ col\rs & fitt+ cyl9d]s into holes4 ,montessori 0 ?9k+ ( ! consci\s m9d ( ! *ild :5 %e evolv$ h] sy/em1 & ! app>atus does n satisfy ! :ole ( ! *ild's unconsci\s m9d4 ,noise is suppress$ 9 a ,montessori s*ool1 b e *ild %\ld be all[$ to make a noise1 = noise means p[] to him1 & he w use x only z long z x means p[] to him4 ,i h wat*$ ,norman ,mac,munn's w> orphans at ,tiptree ,hall at "w4 ,mac,munn1 ! au?or ( ,a ,pa? to ,fre$om 9 ! ,s*ool1 did n say ,hu%62 8 boys fill$ ! room ) noisy talk z !y work$1 & nev] h ,i se5 *ildr5 d m "w ) s mu* joy4 ,! ,montessori tea*]1 :5 %e f9ds t ,jimmy is int]f]+ ) ! "w ( ,alice1 segregates ! bad ,jimmy1 & treats him z a sick p]son4 ,b ! "r ?+ to d is to solve ,jimmy's problem z well z ,alice's4 ,:at is beh9d ,jimmy's aggressiv5ess8 ,jimmy does n "k1 nor does ! ,montessori tea*]1 because %e has be5 tra9$ 9 ! psy*ology ( ! consci\s only4 ,ano!r reason :y ,i am n :olly on ! side ( ,montessori is1 ,i fancy1 t h] religi\s attitude repels me4 ,%e is a *ur* woman2 %e has a def9ite idea ( "r & wrong4 ,?us1 al?\gh %e all[s *ildr5 fre$om to *oose _! own occupations1 %e all[s !m no fre$om to *all5ge adult morality4 ,b = a *ild to accept a ready-made code ( morals is dang]\s2 education 9 morality is a ?\s& times m important ?an intellectual education ) a didactic app>atus4 99 99 99 99 99 ,to-night ,duncan came 91 & z usual we talk$ education4 ,i took up ! subject ( puni%m5t1 & condemn$ x on ! gr\nd t x treats effect in/ead ( cause4 ,aft] a little p]suasion ,duncan seem$ incl9$ to agree ) me4 ,i see :at y mean1 he said1 b :at ,i say is t if y aboli% puni%m5t y mu/ also aboli% rew>d4 ,:y n8 ,i said4 ,! case aga9/ rew>ds is j z simple4 ,a *ild %\ld d a lesson = ! joy ( do+ x4 ,milton c]ta9ly did n write ,p>adise ,lo/ = ! five p\nds he got = x4 ,yes1 ,i see t1 said ,duncan ?\ghtfully1 b :at ab\t competition8 ,! prize at ! end introduces a breezy /ruggle = place4 ,i %ook my head4 ,no competition6 ,i won't h x4 ,x makes ! *ap at ! top ( ! class a prig1 & gives ! poor *ap at ! bottom an inf]iority complex4 ,no1 we want to enc\rage n competition b co-op]ation4 ,competition leads naturally to ano!r _w w>1 z competition betwe5 ,briti% & ,am]ican capital is do+ n[4 ,!n ,duncan floor$ me4 ,& w\ld y disc\rage football because x introduces ! idea ( competition8 he ask$4 ,( c\rse n1 ,i repli$ ,!n :y disc\rage x 9 ari?metic8 he ask$4 ,x 0 an arre/+ "q1 & ,i _h to grope = an answ] t w\ld conv9ce n only ,duncan b myself4 ,t e heal?y boy likes to try 8 /r5g? aga9/ 8 fell[s is a fact t we _c ignore4 ,mr4 ,ar?ur ,balf\r's desire to beat 8 golf+ p>tn] & ,jock ,broon's desire to spit f>!r ?an ,jake ,to% are fundam5tally ! same desire1 ! desire = self-ass]tion4 ,& ,i see t ! man :o comes 9 la/ 9 ! qu>t]-mile race is 9 ! same position ( inf]iority z ! boy :o is always at ! bottom ( ! class4 ,yet ,i condemn competition 9 s*ool-"w :ile ,i appreciate competition 9 games4 ,:y8 ,i ?9k ,i %\ld leave x to ! *ildr54 ,obvi\sly !y l to compete 9 games & races1 b !y h no natural desire to compete 9 lessons4 ,x appe>s t "s ?+s naturally l5d !mselves to competition--rac+1 box+1 billi>ds1 jump+1 football & s on4 ,o!r ?+s d n enc\rage competition4 ,b]n>d ,%aw & ,g4 ,k4 ,*e/]ton d n compete 9 ! output ( books2 ,freud & ,jung d n /ruggle to publi% ! record numb] ( analysis cases2 ,george ,robey & ,little ,ti* d n appe> toge!r on ! /age ( ! ,palladium & try to prove :i* is ! funni]4 ,rivalry !re always is1 b x rema9s only rivalry until ,! ,daily ,mail (f]s a prize = ! bigge/ cabbage or sweet-pea1 & !n competition seizes suburbia4 ,i %\ld !re=e leave ! *ildr5 to discov] = !mselves :at int]e/s l5d !mselves to competition1 & :at int]e/s d n4 ,i "k be=eh& t ( _! own accord !y w n introduce x into s*ool subjects4 ,?is is 9 accord ) my views on ! au?ority "q4 ,i insi/ t ! tea*] w impose no?+2 t 8 task is to wat* ! *ildr5 f9d _! own solution4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i mu/ write d[n a wise say+ t came f ,dauvit4 ,a rambl+ & ill-in=m$ discussion ( ,bol%evism arose 9 8 %op to-night4 ,dauvit took no "p 9 x1 b :5 we rose to g he said3 ,tak' my ^w = x1 ,bol%evism is wrong4 ,h[ d y make t out1 ,dauvit8 ,i ask$4 ,because x's a success1 he said %ortly4 99 99 99 99 99 ,to-night ! ,rev4 ,mr4 ,smi?1 ! ,u4,f4 m9i/]1 came 94 ,he is "o ( ! unco' guid1 & to him all pleasures are s9ful4 ,x happ5$ t ,i 0 tell+ ,macdonald ! ,freudian !ory ( dreams :5 he ent]$1 & :5 ,mac told him :at ! conv]sation _h be5 ab\t1 he begg$ me to cont9ue4 ,x 0 evid5t t he _h nev] he>d ( dream int]pretation1 & he 0 surpris$4 ,& e dream has a mean+8 he ask$4 ,yes1 ,i said4 ,i _h a dream la/ night1 he began1 b ,i held up a w>n+ h&4 ,y %\ldn't tell y\r dreams 9 public1 ,i said ha/ily2 !y may give ?+s away t y don't want o!rs to "k4 ,he laugh$4 ,i don't m9d t1 he said1 ,i'll take ! risk4 ,la/ night ,i dreamt t ,i 0 9 a public-h\se among a lot ( m5 :o 7 tell+ mo/ obsc5e /ories4 ,accord+ to ,freud e dream is ! fulfilm5t ( a wi%4 ,d y mean to tell me t ,i wi% to be 9 su* a company8 ,i expla9$ t ! dream z told is n ! dream 9 reality1 ! mean+ lies beh9d ! symbolism1 & x c be got at by ! me?od ( free association4 ,i also expla9$ t ,i did n believe ! ,freud !ory1 t ! dream is always a wi%1 & sugge/$ t ,jung 0 a sur] guide4 ,accord+ to ,jung1 ,i said1 ! dream is (t5 comp5satory4 ,9 y\r own case y are consci\sly liv+ ! high] life1 b !re is ano!r side ( life t y are ignor+1 & t is ! vulg> pub side4 ,y\r dream is a h9t t ! vulg> side ( life _c be ignor$4 ,y may ignore x consci\sly1 b y\r unconsci\s w seek ! o!r side 9 y\r dreams4 ,?is seem$ to make him ?9k4 ,b ! sa9ts & m>tyrs6 he cri$4 ,?9k ( ! ?\s&s :o crucifi$ ! fle% s t !y might w9 ! ev]la/+ cr[n6 ,d y tell me t !y 7 all wrong8 ,i lit my pipe4 ,i ?9k !y 71 ,i said1 = !y m]ely repress$ _! animal life4 ,!y ?\ght t !y _h conqu]$ x1 b !y only buri$ x4 ,! real sa9t is ! man :o faces 8 fle% boldly & loves x too1 j z mu* z he loves 8 ,god4 ,!n ! m9i/] fl$4 ,! int]pretation ( dreams is "o ( ! mo/ fasc9at+ /udies 9 ! _w4 ,! me?od z evolv$ by ,freud is simple1 al?\gh ! int]pretation is any?+ b simple4 ,obvi\sly ! av]age dream has no mean+4 ,y dream t a horse speaks to y1 & !n x turns into y\r bro!r4 ,x is all nons5se1 yet beh9d ! nons5se is a s]i\s mean+4 ,n long ago ,i 0 analys+ a girl ( sixte54 ,ab\t a week aft] ! analysis began %e br\ght a dream :i* began ?us3 ,i am invisible1 & ,i h a tail t ,i c take (f or put on4 ,foll[+ ! me?od ( free association ,i said to h]3 ,:at comes into y\r m9d ab\t be+ invisible8 ,oh1 ,i've (t5 want$ to be invisible1 = !n ,i c\ld d :at ,i lik$2 !n ,i w\ld be free4 ,be+ invisible !re=e meant be+ free4 ,!n ,i ask$ h] associations to ! tail "p4 ,tail 4 4 4 monkeys at ! ,zoo2 !y are poor ?+s always kept beh9d b>s4 ,j l me4 ,i =got to say t my tail wasn't on 9 ! dream4 ,tail !re=e meant some?+ associat$ ) conf9em5t & re/riction4 ,x is significant t h] tail 0 unatta*$4 ,i took x to mean a wi%-fulfilm5t dream2 9 x %e got free f h] neurosis4 ,! foll[+ night %e dreamt t %e 0 be+ driv5 9 a motor c> by a swanky *auffeur4 ,!y came to ! bottom ( a hill1 & ! c> /opp$1 & %e got out & walk$4 ,h] fir/ association 03 ,! *auffeur _h a big gre5 coat on1 "o j l ! coat y we>4 ,s ,i 0 ! *auffeur8 ,i ask$4 ,%e bright5$ at once4 ,i see x6 %e cri$4 ,! c> is ! analysis2 y are driv+ me away f my old life6 ,excell5t6 ,i said1 b don't =get t ! c> /opp$ at ! bottom ( ! hill4 ,:at does ! ^w hill give y8 ,some?+ difficult to climb4 ,i hat$ climb+ x & ?\ght x a %ame t ! motor didn't take me up4 ,well8 ,i've got to climb to get bett]1 hav5't ,i8 ,t's "r1 ,i said4 ,i told y ! o!r night t no analy/ %\ld give advice1 & ,i refus$ :5 y ask$ me = x4 ,9 y\r unconsci\s y realise t ! *auffeur is n go+ to take y up ! hill2 9 o!r words y've got to d mo/ ( ! "w4 ,freud holds t !re is a c5sor /&+ betwe5 ! consci\s & ! unconsci\s4 ,primitive wi%es seek to come f ! unconsci\s1 b ! c5sor holds up 8 h&4 ,no1 he says1 t's too disgu/+2 ! consci\s m9d c\ldn't /& t2 x w\ld be %ock$4 ,y mu/ disguise y\rself 9 h>mless =m6 ,& s ! infantile sex wi% is *ang$ into a h>mless dog or cycle4 ,b if ?is is ! case :y %\ld my little girl dream ( me z a *auffeur8 ,!re 0 no?+ disgu/+ ab\t me1 no?+ t h] consci\s m9d c\ld n face4 ,i pref] ,jung's !ory4 ,he says t we dream 9 symbols because symbolism is ! olde/ language 9 ! _w1 &1 z ! unconsci\s is primitive x uses ?is language4 ,we all dream ( %ock+ ?+s1 & if ! endopsy*ic c5sor 7 really on duty he w\ld nev] all[ ^! disgu/+ dreams to get ?r\gh4 ,if ,i dream t my fa!r is dead ! ,freudians decl>e t ,i ei!r wi% or1 9 ! pa/1 h wi%$ unconsci\sly = my fa!r's dea?4 ,b surely s al>m+ a wi% w\ld be *ang$ into a h>mless =m if !re 7 a c5sor4 ,"o night ,i dreamt t an acqua9tance1 ,murray1 0 dead4 ,! fir/ association to ,murray 03 ,he's a lazy sort ( *ap4 ,i ?9k t all he /ood = 0 laz9ess1 & he 0 m]ely my own laz9ess symbolis$4 ,! dream 0 a h9t to me to be up & do+1 = ,i _h be5 neglect+ a task t ,i %\ld h und]tak54 ,!re is :at might be call$ ! *eese-&-tripe supp] !ory ( ! dream held by _m p4 ,!re's no?+ 9 dreams1 !y say1 no?+ b ! disord]s foll[+ late supp]4 ,a *eese-&-tripe supp] w cause que] dreams1 b ! advocates ( ?is !ory _c expla9 :y a tripe supp] %\ld make me dream (--say--a tig]4 ,:y n a lion or a m\se8 ,x is an accept$ fact n[ 9 psy*ology t ! dream is ! work+ ( ! unconsci\s4 ,"s !osophi/s claim t dur+ sleep y\r _s leaves y\r body & seeks ! a/ral plane1 b ,i h nev] se5 any?+ resembl+ evid5ce ( ?is4 ,x may be a fact = all t4 ,conc]n+ ! prophetic aspect ( dreams ,i "k no?+4 ,i h he>d t ! night be=e ! ,tay ,bridge disa/] a woman dreamt t x 0 to take place1 & %e p]suad$ h] husb& n to travel by t ill-fat$ tra91 b ,i _c v\* = ! /ory4 ,i believe1 h[ev]1 t ! dream is prophetic 9 t ! unconsci\s dur+ ! night is work+ out ! problems ( ! next day4 ,! popul> say+ ab\t sleep+ ov] a problem %[s t !re is a real belief 9 ?is aspect4 ,i "k a lady :o 0 und]go+ analysis4 ,%e 0 suff]+ f a fa!r complex1 t is1 h] infantile fixation on ! fa!r _h rema9$ ) h]1 & unconsci\sly %e 0 approv+ or disapprov+ ( e man %e met accord+ z he did or did n 9 "s way resemble h] fa!r4 ,= a few weeks aft] ! analysis began %e 0 always dream+ t %e 0 back 9 h] *ildhood home1 & 9 h] dreams %e 0 always try+ to get away f home & h] fa!r 0 always re/ra9+ h] f go+4 ,(t5 ! figure 9 ! dream 0 n ! fa!r1 b ! associations always %[$ t ! figure 0 /&+ = ! fa!r4 ,"o night ! figure 0 ! ,k+1 & h] fir/ association 03 ,! ,k+'s "n is ,george4 4 4 4 ,t's fa!r's "n too4 ,?is seems to be a case :]e ! unconsci\s is /riv+ to f9d a solution4 ,! way ! unconsci\s does ?+s is wond]ful4 ,i rememb] "o night li/5+ to a lecture by ,hom] ,lane4 ,he br\ght =w>d a new !ory ab\t education1 & x 0 s deep t ,i did n q grasp its mean+4 ,at ! "t ,alan1 ,hom] ,lane's y\nge/ *ild1 0 "o ( ! pupils 9 ! s*ool 9 :i* ,i taught4 ,t night ,i dreamt t ,i 0 /&+ be=e a class4 ,alan 0 sitt+ 9 ! front seat1 & beh9d him 0 a boy :om 9 ! dream ,i call$ ,hom] ,lane's y\nge/ *ild4 ,! new !ory _h become 9 ! language ( symbolism ,alan's y\ng] bro!r 4 4 4 9 %ort1 ,lane's late/4 ,"h aga9 ,i _c see :y any c5sor %\ld *ange a !ory into a *ild4 99 99 99 99 99 ,9 my ,log ,i make a v1 v poor /atem5t ab\t sex in/ruction4 ,i say t *ildr5 %\ld be enc\rag$ to believe 9 ! /ork !ory ( bir? until ! age ( n9e4 ,t 0 a wrong belief1 b !n at t "t ,i _h n read ,freud or ,blo* or ,moll4 ,i see n[ t ! *ild %\ld be told ! tru? ab\t sex :5ev] he asks = in=mation4 ,b ,i fe>1 t _m mod]n mo!rs ?9k t !y h sexually educat$ _! *ild :5 !y tell him :]e babies come f4 ,! physiological side ( sex is ! less important2 y c take a *ild ?r\gh all ! usual /ages--poll9ation ( plants1 f]tilisation ( eggs1 "r up to human bir?1 b ! *ild w f9d no help 9 ^! in=mations :5 he faces 8 sex in/9ct at adolesc5ce4 ,sex in/ruction %\ld be psy*ological2 x %\ld deal ) ! sex in/9ct z "o =m ( life =ce or libido4 ,! *ild %\ld be l$ to face x op5ly4 ,x %\ld be entirely dissociat$ f s91 & moral lectures %\ld n be giv54 ,:o is to give ! in/ruction8 ,t is ! difficulty4 ,mo/ p>5ts & tea*]s _c d x because _! own sex in/9ct is all wrong4 ,make a rem>k ab\t sex 9 ! company ( adults1 & x w be react$ to 9 two ways2 "s w gr9 & laugh2 o!rs w be %ock$4 ,i ha/5 to add t ! %ock$ ones are worse ?an ! laugh]s4 ,! laugh is a release ( sex repressions2 ! %ock$ appe>ance is a comp5sation = an unconsci\s ov]-int]e/ 9 sex4 ,anyway nei!r type is capable ( talk+ ab\t sex to *ildr51 & s9ce humanity is r\ghly divid$ into prudes & s9n]s 7n sa9ts & s9n]s71 !re is little hope ( a frank sex education = kiddies4 ,_m p say3 ,oh1 leave x to ! doctors1 b p]sonally ,i hav5't en\gh fai? 9 doctors4 ,_! attitude to sex is usually no bett] ?an ! attitude ( ! layman4 ,i "k doctors :o c\ld give excell5t in/ruction to *ildr5 on ! physiology ( sex1 b ! only doctors ( my acqua9tance :o c\ld tea* ! psy*ological side are psy*o-analy/s or psy*o-!rapi/s ( "s sort4 ,tea*]s c tackle ! sex problem negatively4 ,sex activity is a =m ( life =ce or int]e/1 & if a *ild is n f9d+ life int]e/+ en\gh !re is a dang] t he w regress to :at is call$ auto-eroticism4 ,:5 we rememb] t ! sexual in/9ct is ! creative in/9ct1 & t creation 9 danc+ or music or poetry or art ( any k9d is sublimat$ sex1 t is sex rais$ to a high] p[]1 we c readily see t "o ( ! mo/ important p>ts ( a tea*]'s job is to provide ways & means = creation4 ,i realise t ?is is n en\gh1 b1 z ,i say1 ,i _c see ! way to a good sex education1 until e tea*] & p>5t has discov]$ 8 or h] own sex complexes4 ,co-education helps1 = !n ! comm+l+ ( ! sexes af=ds a h>mless & unconsci\s outlet = sex int]e/4 ,b co-education is no panacea1 = ! sex problems ( ! individual *ild 9 a co-educational s*ool are almo/ z imm$iate z ^? ( ! *ild f ! segregat$ s*ool4 ,,ix4 ,?is morn+ ,i 0 sett+ (f = ,dundee :5 ,willie ,m>%all ent]$ ! comp>tm5t4 ,he 0 dress$ 9 8 ,sunday be/1 & ,i wond]$ :y he 0 go+ to ,dundee on a ,w$nesday4 ,hullo1 ,willie6 ,i cri$1 :at's on to-day8 ,he look$ tr\bl$ & angry4 ,i've be5 summon$ to s]ve on ! jury t's try9' t dawm$ rat t /ailt t5 pund frae ! m9i/]1 he said vici\sly1 & ,i _h little ne$ to lose a day1 = ,i hae f> mair "w ?an ,i c dae4 ,mossbank's twa cairts cam 9 ye/re51 & he's swe>9' l ony?+ t he maun hae !m by ! ni*t4 ,willie is a jo9]1 & mo/ ( 8 "w is build+ & repair+ c>ts4 ,s y ?9k t ,nosie ,broon is guilty8 ,i said ) a smile4 ,( coorse he is1 he cri$ ) emphasis4 ,b1 ,i said s]i\sly1 y'll maybe alt] y\r m9d :5 y he> ! evid5ce4 ,he grunt$4 ,dawn nae fe>6 ,i'll %[ him t he's no to drag me awa frae ma "w = no?+6 ,he op5$ 8 ,dundee ,c\ri]1 & ,i sat & ?\ght ( ! trial by jury me?od4 ,i w\ld n condemn x on ! /r5g? ( ,willie's dang]\s misund]/&+ ( :at x means1 b ,i d condemn x on o!r gr\nds4 ,weigh+ evid5ce is a difficult en\gh bus9ess ev5 = ! speciali/1 = x is almo/ impossible to elim9ate emotion 9 =m+ a judgm5t4 ,) a jury ( citiz5s1 "s ( !m possibly illit]ate1 too mu* dep5ds on ! advocates1 or on outside causes4 ,dur+ ! w> !re 0 a gl>+ in/ance ( ?is4 ,a soldi] %ot ! man :o _h be5 try+ to /eal 8 wife's love 4 4 4 & ! v]dict ( ! jury 0 ,n ,guilty4 ,! emotional factor 9 ?is case 0 t ! dead man 0 a ,g]man4 ,i am n argu+ t ! prison] %\ld h be5 hang$ or imprison$1 = ,i ?9k bo? proc$ures are bad2 ,i m]ely po9t out t 9 ! eyes ( legalism ! soldi] 0 guilty1 yet ! jury ?rew legalism ov]bo>d4 ,ano!r in/ance ( ! emotional factor ov]-rul+ legalism is se5 9 ! trial ( ! man :o %ot ,jaures4 ,he 0 acquitt$4 4 4 4 ,n ,guilty 4 4 4 ! man :o slew "o ( ! be/ m5 9 ,europe4 ,on ! o!r h& ! y\? :o attempt$ to assass9ate ,clem5ceau 0 s5t5c$ to dea?1 p>don$1 & s5t to p5al s]vitude4 ,9 ,france !re=e x is a crime to kill a politician ( ! "r1 b a virtue to kill "o ( ! ,sociali/ left4 ,ab/ract ju/ice is a figm5t4 ,no jury & no judge c be imp>tial4 ,! o!r day a man 0 *>g$ ) /rik+ a ,sociali/ orator ) an ice-pick4 ,! judge lectur$ ! orator on 8 ,bol%evism1 & !n gave ! accus$ imprisonm5t = a %ort t]m 9 ! second division4 ,suppose t ! ,bol%evi/ _h us$ an ice-pick on a ,cab9et ,m9i/]6 ,i d n ?9k t our judges & magi/rates ev] consci\sly %[ p>tiality4 ,!y are an upright class ( m51 m5 above suspicion4 ,x is _! unconsci\s t %[s p>tiality j z m9e does4 ,! army colonels :o tri$ ,consci5ti\s ,objectors 7 upright m51 b x 0 wrong to imag9e t !y c\ld possibly see ! ,c4,o4's po9t ( view4 ,s x 0 ) ! regul> ,r4,a4,m4,c4 doctors4 ,to "s ( !m ! neurotic pati5t 0 a sw+] ( ! lead1 a mal+]]4 ,!y _h nev] he>d ( ! new psy*iatry1 & ! neurotic 0 a /range creature to !m4 ,_! ignorance supplem5t$ _! prejudice1 & !y c\ld n possibly h treat$ ^! m5 ) ju/ice4 ,! tru? is t we all make up our m9ds accord+ z our buri$ complexes impel u4 ,if ,i saw a ,fr5*man fight+ a ,scot ,i %\ld take ! ,scot's side1 because ,i h a ,scot complex4 ,occasionally our complexes "w 9 ! opposite way4 ,i fancy t ! few p :o sid$ ) ! ,g]mans 9 ! w> 7 suff]+ f an ag9 ! gov]nm5t complex1 :i*1 if y trace x deep en\gh is usually f\nd to be an infantile rebellion aga9/ ! fa!r4 ,9 ?is case ! ,/ate repres5t$ ! fa!r1 & ,g]many 0 ! outside help] :o %\ld conqu] ! fa!r 7or "m7 c\ntry4 ,_h ,g]many won1 ! unpatriotic man w\ld imm$iately h turn$ 8 hate aga9/ ,prussia1 = !n ,prussia w\ld h be5 ! fa!r sub/itute4 ,our loves & hates & fe>s are )9 ourselves4 ,i "k a man :o has a nagg+ wife2 %e has a con/ant wi% = new ?+s4 ,he b\ght h] a hat1 & = two days %e 0 happy2 !n %e nagg$1 & he b\ght h] a dress4 ,?ree days lat] %e dem&$ a necklace1 & he gave h] a necklace4 ,he may cont9ue giv+ h] ev]y?+ %e asks =1 b if he buys h] a ,rolls ,royce & a h\se 9 ,p>k ,lane %e w be a dissatisfi$ woman1 = ! fault1 de> ,brutus1 lies n 9 our />s b 9 ourselves4 ,i advis$ him to sp5d 8 money on hav+ h] psy*o-analys$4 99 99 99 99 99 ,to-night ,tammas ,l[nie ! jo9] came into ,dauvit's %op4 ,he is an infrequ5t att5d] at ,dauvit's p>liam5t1 & ,dauvit seem$ slightly surpris$ at 8 entry4 ,weel1 ,tammas1 he said1 x's no (t5 t we see y "h4 ,:at's bro*t ye "h ! ni*t8 ,tammas spat 9 ! grate4 ,oh1 x 0 a f9e ni*t1 & ,i ?\ght ,i'd j tak a daund] yont1 he said easily4 ,dauvit look$ at him se>*+ly4 ,na1 na1 ,tammas1 x w9na dae6 ,x wasna ! f9e ni*t t bro*t ye yont4 ,ye've got "s news ,i'm ?9k9'4 ,tammas laugh$ l\dly4 ,dauvit1 ye're oncanny6 he cri$4 ,ye seem to read :at's at ! back o' a man's held4 ,b ,i h nae news to gie ye4 ,dauvit *uckl$4 ,i wudna wond] if ye didna come yont to tell me aboot ! eld]%ip1 he said sl[ly4 ,! expression on ,tammas's face %[$ t he _h come to tell u t ! m9i/] _h ask$ him to become an eld]4 ',od1 ,dauvit1 noo t ye come to m5tion x ,i wud l to he> y] advice aboot ! matt]4 ,i d9na see h[ ,i c tak an eld]%ip1 ,dauvit4 ,h[ no8 ask$ ,dauvit 9 surprise4 ,!n he add$3 ,b maybe ye k5 :e!r ye've got a s9fu' he>t or no4 ,x's no t1 said ,tammas ha/ily1 ,i'm nae worse ?an "s o!r eld]s ,i k51 & he glanc$ at ,jake ,to%4 ,no1 x's no ! s9 ,i'm ?9k9' o'2 x's my trade4 ,b1 ,i put 91 :y %\ldn't a jo9] be an eld]8 ,tammas bit (f a *unk ( ,bogie ,roll4 ,t may z may be1 dom9ie1 b ,i'm mair ?an a jo9]2 ,i'm an und]takk]4 ,weel1 said ,dauvit1 :at aboot t8 ,tammas %ook 8 head sadly4 ,an und]takk] canna be an eld]1 ,dauvit4 ,suppose ! m9i/] 0 awa prea*9' or at ! ,assembly1 & ane o' 8 congregation 0 dee9'1 me z an eld] mi*t hae to g+ to ! b$side & (f] up a bit pray]4 ,!re's no?+ 9 t1 said ,jake pr\dly2 ,i've (f]$ up a bit pray] a=e noo :5 ! m9i/] 0 awa4 ,aye1 ,jake1 said ,tammas1 b ye see y're a roadman4 ,b an und]takk] is a diff]5t matt]4 ,goad1 lads1 ,i canna gie a man a bit pray] at sax o'clock & syne measure him = 8 c(f9 at a*t4 ,t wud look l mix9' religion wi' bus9ess4 ,! assembly ?\ght ov] ?is aspect4 ,all ! same1 said ! smi?1 ,dr4 ,hall is an eld]1 & naebody ev] ?9ks o' accus9' him o' mix9' religion wi' 8 bus9ess4 ,we all consid]$ ?is /atem5t4 ,tammas1 said ,dauvit1 if ye want to be an eld] tak x1 & nev] m9d ! und]takk9'4 ,b if ev] ye h to gie a pray] j get ,jake "h to tak on ! job4 ,he began to laugh "h4 ,i m9d o' ,jeemie ,rit*ie :5 he got 8 eld]%ip4 ,! m9i/] ga$ awa to ! ,assembly 9 ,ed9bro1 & z x happ5$ auld ,jess ,to% 0 dee9'1 s ,jeemie 0 ask$ to come up & gie h] a pray]4 ,jeemie 0 9 my %op :5 ! lassie ,to% cam = him1 & ,i nev] saw a man 9 sic a /ate4 ',dauvit1' he cries1 ',i canna dae x6 ,i nev] (f]$ up a pray] 9 my life6' ',hoots1 ,jeemie1' says ,i1 'x's easy2 j br+ 9 a few bitties frae ! ,bible4' ,auld ,jeemie he sc>t$ 8 heid4 ',man1 ,dauvit1' says he1 ',i cudna say twa words o' ! ,bible4' ,weel-a-weel1 ,i _h to %ove him oot o' ! %op1 & ,i tell ye1 boys1 he 0 %ak9' l a %akky-trummly4 ,weel1 9 aboot half-an-h\r ,jeemie cam back1 & he 0 smil9' l ony?+4 ',hoo did ye get on8' ,i spe]$4 ',graund6' he cri$1 '4 4 4 %e 0 deid a=e ,i got !re6' 99 99 99 99 99 ,:5 ,i publi%$ my ,log a correspond5t wrote accus+ me ( be+ disloyal to my colleagues 9 ! tea*+ pr(ession4 ,:]e is y\r pr(essional etiquette8 he wrote4 ,i _h lots ( lett]s f tea*]s1 "s flatt]+1 "s n4 ,"o man wrote me f ,croydon3-- ,de> ,sir1--,are y a fool or m]ely a silly ass8 ,bo?1 ,i repli$1 else ,i %\ld n h paid #b;d4 = y\r lett]4 ,9 ha/e ! poor man ha/5$ to =w>d two p5ny /amps1 & to apologise = n hav+ /amp$ ! lett] he s5t me4 ,i really ?\ght t ,i _h /amp$ x1 he wrote4 ,!n ,i wrote him a nice lett] tell+ him t ! mi/ake 0 m9e1 = 8 fir/ lett] _h _h a /amp on x aft] all4 ,he nev] repli$ to t1 & ,i suppose t n[ he goes ab\t tell+ 8 fri5ds t ,i am a fool1 a silly ass1 & a typical ,scot4 ,au?ors he> que] ?+s ab\t !mselves4 ,! o!r day a fri5d ( m9e ask$ = my ,log 9 a ,we/ ,end libr>y4 ,z ! libr>ian h&$ ov] ! book %e %ook h] head sadly4 ,isn't x sad ab\t ! man :o wrote t book8 %e said4 ,my fri5d 0 />tl$4 ,sad6 ,:at d y mean8 ,oh1 hav5't y he>d8 ask$ ! libr>ian 9 surprise2 he's a confirm$ drunk>d n[4 ,impossible6 cri$ my fri5d1 ) :isky at t5 & six a bottle6 ,b ,i meant to write ab\t colleagues4 ,"o day a class 0 hold+ a self-gov]nm5t meet+1 & !y s5t = me4 ,i 0 annoy$ because ,i 0 hav+ my aft]-d9n] smoke 9 ! /aff-room4 ,h[ev] ,i w5t up4 ,hullo6 ,i said z ,i ent]$1 :at d y want8 ,eglant9e ! *airman said3 ,a memb] ( ?is class has insult$ y4 ,impossible6 ,i cri$4 ,!n ,m>y got up4 ,i did1 %e blurt$ out n]v\sly2 ,i said y 7 j a silly ass4 ,t's all "r6 ,i said *e]fully1 ,i am1 & ,i made = ! door4 ,!n ! class got excit$4 ,ar5't y go+ to d any?+8 ask$ ,ian 9 surprise4 ,good ,"l1 no6 ,i cri$4 ,:y %\ld ,i8 ,y're on ! /aff1 said ,ian4 ,look "h1 ,i said impati5tly1 ,i h]eby au?orise ! cr[d ( y to call me any "n y l4 ,! class became indignant4 ,y c't criticise ! /aff1 said "o4 ,:y n8 ,i ask$1 & !y look$ at ea* o!r 9 al>m4 ,?is 0 c>ry+ self-gov]nm5t too f>4 ,sudd5ly ,m>y jump$ up4 ,!n if we c criticise ! /aff "h goes6 ,i accuse ,miss ,br[n ( fav\ritism4 ,x 0 a bomb%ell4 ,ev]yone jump$ up1 & "s cri$3 ,%ame6 ,)draw6 ,! *airman appeal$ to me4 ,i h no?+ to d ) x1 ,i prote/$4 ,!n bitt] words flew4 ,!y told me t ,i1 z a memb] ( ! /aff1 %\ld squa% ,m>y4 ,voices became l\d]1 b !n ! bell rang & ! class _h to g to its own class-room to "w4 ,my colleagues :5 !y he>d ! /ory agre$ ) ! *ildr52 !y held t ,i act$ wrongly 9 li/5+ to an accusation aga9/ a colleague4 ,my argum5t 0 t ,i 0 a gue/ at a meet+2 ,i _h no vote1 nor w\ld ,i h int]f]$ _h ,i be5 a memb] ( ! meet+4 ,i 0 q sure t if ! bell _h n brok5 up ! meet+ somebody w\ld h made ! discov]y t ,miss ,br[n 0 ! prop] p]son to make ! accusation to4 ,:5 !y ?\ght t ,m>y insult$ me !y s5t = me1 & ,i fully expect$ !y w\ld s5d = ,miss ,br[n4 ,aga9 ,i argu$ t if ,miss ,br[n _h fav\rites ! class _h a "r to criticise h]4 ,if %e _h no fav\rites let h] arraign ! class be=e a meet+ ( ! :ole s*ool & accuse !m ( libel4 ,look+ back ,i /ill ?9k my attitude 0 "r1 = unless ! /aff c lay aside all dignity & become memb]s ( ! gang education is n free4 ,yet ,i see n[ t ,i 0 secretly exult+ 9 ! discomfiture ( a colleague 4 4 4 a common human fail+ :i* none ( u c>e to recognise 9 ourselves4 ,x is a sad fact b a true "o t h[ev] mu* ,dr4 ,a4 prote/s :5 a pati5t tells him t ,dr4 ,b4 is a clumsy fool1 unconsci\sly at lea/ ,dr4 ,a4 is gratifi$ at ! criticism ( 8 rival4 ,psy*o-analy/s1 t is p :o are suppos$ to "k ! cont5ts ( _! unconsci\s1 are j z guilty 9 ?is respect z o!r doctors1 & if anyone d\bts ?is let him ask a ,freudian :at he ?9ks ( ! ,jungian 9 ! next /reet4 ,my e>lie/ memory ( pr(essional jeal\sy goes back to ! age ( sev54 ,i liv$ next door to a d5ti/1 a real qualifi$ ,l4,d4,s4 ,across ! /reet liv$ a quack d5tal surgeon4 ,:5 trade 0 dull ^! two us$ to come to _! respective doors & conv]se ) ea* o!r 9 ! good old simple way ( putt+ ! f+]s to ! nose4 ,!y nev] spoke to ea* o!r4 ,life 9 a nor!rn t[n 0 simple 9 ^! days4 99 99 99 99 99 ,hel5 ,macdonald is f\r ye>s old1 & h] "m & ,i h "s breezy discussions ab\t h] upbr++4 ,mrs4 ,mac has a great admiration = h] own "m1 & %e is b5t on br++ up h] daught] 9 ! way t %e 0 br\ght up4 ,"m made me obey & ,i'll make ,hel5 obey1 %e said to-day ) decision4 ,x's dang]\s1 ,i said4 ,no x isn't2 x work$ well en\gh 9 my case anyway4 ,don't bl[ y\r own trumpet1 madam6 ,%e smil$4 ,i don't ?9k ,i am a bad product ( ! good old way1 %e said ) a self-satisfi$ air4 ,madam1 %all ,i tell y ! tru? ab\t y\rself8 ,%e bubbl$ & drew h] *air clos] to m9e4 ,d6 %e cri$1 & !n add$3 ,b ,i won't believe ! na/y bits4 ,mac *uckl$4 ,to beg9 )1 ,i said pomp\sly1 y are an awful example ( a bad education4 ,%e b[$ mock+ly & ,mac guffaw$4 ,he is a wee bit afraid ( 8 wife & he m>vels at my c\rage 9 ragg+ h]4 ,y1 ,i cont9u$1 7 made to obey z a *ild1 & z a result y became dep5d5t on y\r "m4 ,9 %ort y are y\r own "m4 ,don't be silly1 %e said ) a fr[n2 ,i want y\r s]i\s op9ion4 ,& y are gett+ x1 ,i repli$4 ,because y _h to obey y nev] liv$ y\r own life1 & naturally y nev] _h a m9d ( y\r own4 ,to ?is day y act z y\r "m act$4 ,%e made h] daught] obey2 y foll[ h] example2 %e made scones 9 su* & su* a way2 y make scones 9 exactly ! same way4 ,t's "r6 laugh$ ,mac4 ,mrs4 ,mac look$ ?\ghtful4 ,anyway1 %e said quickly1 !y are excell5t scones4 ,mo/ excell5t scones1 ,i ha/5$ to add1 b my po9t is t if we all foll[ our p>5ts !re w be no progress4 ,progress w nev] br+ bett] scones1 said ,mac & he patt$ 8 wife's *eek4 ,mac1 ,i said gallantly1 y\r wife has br\ght scones to _! p]fect & utmo/ evolution4 ,%e has made ! sup]-scone4 ,only1 ,hel5 isn't a scone y "k4 ,at ?is po9t ,hel5 0 f\nd try+ to pull ! m>ble clock d[n f ! mantlepiece4 ,h] "m rescu$ ! clock z x 0 fall+1 & %e scold$ ! fair ,hel54 ,y are all !ory1 %e cri$ to me4 ,:at w\ld y d 9 a case l ?is8 ,same z y did1 ,i answ]$ ha/ily1 & !n add$3 ,only ,i w\ld try to give h] s _m int]e/+ ?+s to play ) t %e'd =get to want ! clock4 ,!n ,mrs4 ,mac indignantly dragg$ out ,hel5's toys f a cupbo>d4 ,doz5s ( !m6 %e cri$1 & %e is tir$ ( e "o4 ,!n ,i disc\rs$ on toys4 ,! toys ( ! _w are ne>ly all bad4 ,hel5 has a beautiful sleep+ doll t co/ five p\nds2 r ,i %\ld say t ,hel5 _h a beautiful sleep+ doll t co/ five p\nds4 ,on ! "o occasion t ,hel5 0 all[$ to play ) x %e made a c>eful attempt to op5 ! head ) a pair ( scissors to see :at made ! eyes close & op54 ,!n h] "m put ! doll 9 a box1 pack$ ! box 9 a trunk1 & expla9$ to ,hel5 t ! doll 0 to lie 9 t trunk until ,hel5 _h a little baby girl ( h] own4 ,i expla9$ to ,mrs4 ,mac t ! toy a *ild ne$s is "o t w take to pieces4 ,e toy %\ld be a m9e ( discov]y4 ,! only good toys t ,i "k ( are ,meccano & ,primus1 b !re is mu* ne$ = con/ructive toys = y\ng] *ildr54 ,mac1 ,i said1 if y 7 ev5 a passably good husb& y w\ld be mak+ ,montessori app>atus = y\r (fspr+4 ,we h _m argum5ts l ?is4 ,mrs4 ,mac's problem is t ( a million mo!rs2 %e has to fit ! *ild into an adult environm5t4 ,ye/]day %e 0 pa9t+ 9 oils4 ,! bak] :i/l$ outside & %e ran out to get ! bread4 ,on h] return %e f\nd t ,hel5 0 busily pa9t+ ! p9k wall-pap] a prussian blue4 ,weal?y mo!rs solve ! problem by employ+ nurses1 b ! solution is a poor "o4 ,few nurses "k en\gh ab\t *ildr51 & _m d positive h>m by fright5+ ! *ild4 ,nor c ! hir$ nurse give ! inf9ite am\nt ( love t a *ild dem&s4 ,if %e c\ld x is probable t %e w\ld be sack$1 = no "m likes to see h] *ild lavi% 8 love on ano!r4 ,on m ?an "o occasion ,i h discov]$ t ! p>5ts ( *ildr5 :o lov$ me 7 ho/ile to me4 ,t is natural4 ,if a fa!r is cont9ually he>+ 8 daught] say3 ,mr4 ,neill says ?is2 ,mr4 ,neill says t1 ,i h e sympa?y ) him :5 he gr[ls3 ,damn ?is ,neill blight]6 ,on ! o!r h& ,i h no sympa?y ) him if he expects me to ask 8 little ,ada h[ h] de> *>m+ papa is4 99 99 99 99 99 ,a book ( t5 volumes might well be writt5 on ! subject ( p>5ts & tea*]s4 ,if a tea*] 7 ! au?or no publi%] w\ld look at x1 = ! language w\ld be unpr9table4 ,to ! tea*] ! p>5t is an enemy4 ,:5 ,mrs4 ,br[n comes to s*ool %e & ! dom9ie *at pleasantly ab\t ! wea!r1 :ile ! *ildr5 look on & m>vel4 ,little ,willie is amaz$ to see 8 "m smile z %e talks1 = x 0 only la/ night t he he>d h] say3 ,t ,mr4 ,smi? is by no means a g5tleman4 ,did y see 8 nails8 ,poor little ,willie does n "k t 8 "m & ! dom9ie are us+ fair smiles to cov] a real ho/ility4 ,mrs4 ,br[n w talk agreeably all ?r\gh h] visit1 b z %e is %ak+ h&s on ! door/ep %e w say1 ,oh1 by ! way1 ,mr4 ,smi?1 ,willie came home la/ night say+ t he wasn't all[$ to play hockey ye/]day4 ,i want him to play e ,w$nesday4 ,b1 says ,mr4 ,smi? def]5tially1 ,i--er--well1 ,w$nesday is ! day :5 ! ,s5iors play1 &--er--s9ce ,willie is a ,junior ,i--er--,i-- ,oh1 ?ank y s mu*1 %e gu%es1 ,i knew t y w\ld arrange t he w play on ,w$nesdays1 & %e sails away4 ,or p]haps ,mrs4 ,br[n w put x on to h] husb&4 ,! way ?+s are done at t s*ool are disgraceful1 ,tom4 ,y mu/ g & see ,smi? & insi/ t ! boy has 8 hockey4 ,well1 ! poor fa!r comes up to s*ool1 & he & ! dom9ie discuss ! wea!r & ,lloyd ,george4 ,all ! "t ,br[n is try+ to mu/] up en\gh c\rage to tackle ! hockey "q4 ,er1 he beg9s aft] cle>+ 8 ?roat1 my wife 0 say+ some?+ ab\t--er--:at a spl5did view y h f "h6 ,fir/ rate1 nods ! dom9ie4 ,y\r wife 0 say+8 ,er--some?+ ab\t hockey4 ,he c\ghs4 ,spl5did game6 ,i--er--,i mu/ g 4 4 4 er--good-bye4 ,no m]e man c badg] a dom9ie4 ,f ! p>5t's po9t ( view a tea*] is a rival :5 he isn't a sort ( "u-g>d5]4 ,! p>5t w\ld nev] ?9k ( argu+ ) ! doctor :5 he says t ,willie has measles2 ! doctor is a speciali/ 9 disease1 & ! p>5t is n4 ,b x is diff]5t ) ! dom9ie4 ,he is a speciali/ 9 education1 b !n s is ! p>5t4 ,t is possibly "o ( ! reasons t ! tea*+ pr(ession is su* a l[-class "o1 = a tea*] is m]ely a speciali/ 9 a _w ( speciali/s4 ,ev]ybody kn[s h[ a *ild ought to be br\ght up4 ,9 ju/ice to p>5ts ,i mu/ confess t !re are only two tea*]s 9 ,brita9 to :om ,i %\ld tru/ ! education ( any *ild ( m9e4 ,mo/ tea*]s are in/ructioni/s only1 & ! p>5t has "s gr\nd = suspicion4 ,x4 ,duncan 0 talk+ ab\t awkw>d mom5ts to-night1 & he told ( ! %ock he got :5 he jo9$ ! army & f\nd t ! s]geant ( 8 squad 0 an old pupil ( 84 ,i ?9k ,i c beat t1 ,duncan1 ,i said1 & told him ! /ory ( an army lecture4 ,i _h a commission 9 ! ,r4,g4,a4 = a %ort "t1 & "o morn+ ,i _h to give a lecture to ! m5 ( ! batt]y on l9es ( fire4 ,!y 7 mo/ly m9]s1 & ,i tri$ to make ! lecture z simple z possible4 ,i began ) ! def9ition ( an angle & w5t on to circul> measurem5t4 ,i notic$ t "o man />$ at ! blackbo>d 9 bewild]m5t1 a v /upid look+ fell[ he 04 ,:5 ! lecture 0 ov] ,i approa*$ him4 ,i don't ?9k y und]/ood :at ,i 0 try+ to tell y1 ,i said4 ,i did h "s difficulty 9 foll[+ x1 sir1 he said4 ,h'm6 ,:at 7 y 9 civil life8 ,ma!matical ma/] 9 a second>y s*ool1 sir4 ,i c\ld n rise to ! occasion4 ,i fl$ to ! mess & ord]$ a br&y & soda4 ,speak+ ab\t ris+ to ! occasion br+s to my m9d ano!r army incid5t 9 :i* ,i did n %9e4 ,i 0 a recruit 9 ! infantry1 & a gym s]geant 0 putt+ u ?r\gh physical j]ks4 ,he told u ! famili> tale t al?\gh we _h brok5 our mo!rs' he>ts we w\ldn't break 82 9 %ort he put ! w9d up u4 ,i got v n]v\s4 ,"r turn6 he ro>$1 & ,i ?\ght he said ,"r ab\t turn4 ,he told ! squad to /& easy1 & !n he ey$ me curi\sly4 ,y6 ,big fell[6 ,take t smile (f y\r face6 ,i don't "k :y he said t = ,i c\ldn't h smil$ at t mom5t = any?+ less ?an my ticket4 ,he /udi$ me c>efully = a bit1 !n enlight5m5t seem$ to dawn on him4 ,i got x6 he exclaim$ triumphantly4 ,i "k wot's wrong ) y6 ,y've got a /upid face2 y c't ?9k2 y nev] ?\ght 9 y] life4 ,i look$ on ! gr\nd4 ,did y] ev] ?9k 9 y] life8 ,no1 s]geant1 ,i said humbly4 ,i bl9k9' well ?\ght s6 he said & mov$ away4 ,!n ! worm turn$4 ,:o 0 he t he %\ld bully a s*ol> & a g5tleman8 ,i w\ld l[] him to ! du/4 ,s]geant6 ,he turn$ quickly4 ,wot d'ye want8 & he tri$ to freeze me ) 8 look4 ,x isn't my fault ,i c't ?9k1 s]geant2 ,i 0 un=tunate en\gh to sp5d five ye>s at a univ]sity4 ,8 m\? gap$1 & 8 eyes />$1 b only = a mom5t4 ,!n he rose to ! occasion4 ,i bl9k9' well ?\ght s6 he cri$4 ,squad6 4 4 4 4 ,t%un6 99 99 99 99 99 ,x is ,sunday night1 & ,i h j be5 to t[n4 ,at ! ,cross ,i /ood & li/5$ to a revivali/ bell[+ f a soap-box4 ,8 message 0 ,salvation b ,i 0 m int]e/$ 9 ! man ?an 8 message4 ,consci\sly he is out to save s9n]s1 b ,i suspect t unconsci\sly he is out to draw att5tion to himself4 ,i d n blame him4 ,i d ! same ?+ :5 ,i publi% a book2 ,lloyd ,george & ,george ,robey & ! revivali/ & ,i are all /riv+ ea* 9 8 little corn] to draw att5tion to ourselves4 ,! exhibition impulse is 9 e *ild4 ,a *ild loves to run ab\t nak$1 b !n society 9 ! =m ( ! "m /eps 9 & says3 ,y mu/ n d t6 ,b we "k t e wi% lives on 9 ! dep?s ( ! m9d1 & ! *ildi% wi% to exhibit ! body appe>s 9 lat] ye>s z a desire to prea* or s+ or act or lecture4 ,?is is ! psy*ology ( ! te/imonials = liv] pills :i* appe> 9 e local pap]4 ,x is ! psy*ology ( mu* crime4 ,_m a slum y\? glories 9 hav+ be5 bir*$1 simply because 8 gang looks on him z a h]o4 ,i ha/5 to /ate t exhibitionism alone does n make a ,cab9et ,m9i/] or a com$ian4 ,!re are o!r motives f infancy1 an important "o be+ ! desire = p[]4 ,i recall t z a boy ,i delight$ 9 foll[+ a drove ( cattle & smit+ ! poor creatures h>d ) a cudgel4 ,freud w\ld say t 9 ?is way ,i 0 releas+ sex en]gy1 b ,i ?9k t ! infantile s5se ( p[] 0 at ! root ( my cruelty2 "h 0 ,i1 a wee boy1 controll+ a big heavy /ot4 ,x is love ( p[] t makes little boys want to be eng9e-driv]s4 ,to ! tea*] ?is love ( p[] is ! mo/ vital ?+ 9 a *ild's make-up4 ,discipl9e ?w>ts ! boy at e turn1 & our adult au?ority is fatally injur+ ! boy's "*4 ,our task is to provide ! *ild ) opportunity to wield 8 p[]4 ,we suppress x & ! lad %[s 8 p[] 9 de/ructive in/ead ( con/ructive activities4 ,i f9d t ,i keep return+ to ?is subject ( suppression1 b x is ! mo/ important evil 9 education4 ,x does n matt] h[ p]fect a tea*] makes 8 in/ruction 9 ari?metic2 if he has n come to see t suppression ( a *ild is a trag$y1 8 in/ruction is ( no value4 ,f an exam9ation po9t ( view1 yes2 f a spiritual po9t ( view1 no4 99 99 99 99 99 ,p>5ts & tea*]s fail because !y _c see ! _w z ! *ild sees x4 ,! *ild ( ?ree is a frank egoi/4 ,he c>es = no "o b himself1 & ! _w is 84 ,ang] him & he w\ld h y drawn & qu>t]$ if he _h ! p[]4 ,8 in/9cts prompt him to ma/] 8 environm5t1 & to beg9 )1 :5 he is a few weeks old1 8 environm5t & 8 own p]son are indi/+ui%able4 ,hom] ,lane gives a delightful description ( ! *ild's fir/ ef=ts & h[ !y are fru/rat$ by ignorant adults4 ,at a v e>ly age ! *ild becomes aw>e ?r\gh v>i\s processes t 8 own h& :i* he has se5 mov+ across 8 l9e ( vision is a "p ( himself1 & t he c move x himself4 ,he has discov]$ p[]4 ,he !n ent]s ^u 8 c>e]4 ,! same motive t w gov]n 8 behavi\r = ! re/ ( 8 life comes into op]ation1 & he wants to use ?is new-f\nd p[] = "s purpose t w increase 8 enjoym5t ( life4 ,up to ?is "t he has _h only "o pleasure1 & t 0 to d ) ! commiss>iat4 ,hav+ discov]$ p[] ov] 8 fi/ he !re=e wants to put x 9 8 m\? 4 4 4 a difficult task requir+ mu* practice & pati5t p]sev]ance4 ,z he goes on work+ he le>ns t 8 p[] increases ) ef=t1 & n[ 8 motive is modifi$4 ,at fir/ x 0 purely mat]iali/ic2 he want$ to h 8 fi/ 9 8 m\?4 ,n[ he wants to put x !re4 ,8 int]e/ is 9 do+ ! ?+ r ?an 9 hav+ x4 ,?is is ! spiritual elem5t 9 8 pres5t desire1 & n[ comes ! fir/ mi/ake 9 education4 ,! "m1 analys+ ! behavi\r ( ! *ild1 has notic$ 8 compla9t at ! difficulty ( ! task z fatigue sets 91 &1 misund]/&+ ! motive ( ! *ild %e helps him to put 8 fi/ 9 8 m\?4 ,b t is j :at ! *ild did n want1 & he prote/s viol5tly aga9/ ?is int]f]5ce ) 8 purpose 9 life4 ,! "m aga9 makes a false analysis ( ! situation1 & concludes t 8 prote/ is ! result ( 8 disappo9tm5t t !re is no n\ri%m5t 9 ! fi/4 ,%e !n gives him food or p>egoric1 :atev] may be h] me?od ( deal+ ) ! spiritual unre/ ( h] *ild1 & ?us drugs 8 creative faculties4 ,i h said t ! infant is an egoi/4 ,if 8 egoism is all[$ full scope he w ent] ^u ! next /age ( life1 ! self-ass]tive /age1 ) a huge capacity = be+ altrui/ic4 ,?is /age comes on ab\t ! age ( six or sev54 ,b if ! *ild has _h p>5ts :o believe 9 m\ld+ "* he w h _h _m sev]e lectures ab\t 8 selfi%ness4 ,^! lectures w n h cur$ 8 selfi%ness2 !y w h driv5 x und]gr\nd = ! mom5t4 ,! selfi%ness ( adults is "o result ( ! moral lecture 9 *ildhood1 = no wi% or emotion w rema9 buri$ = ev]4 ,! age ( self-ass]tion is ! r[dy age1 & naturally x is n[ t fa!r uses 8 au?ority4 ,! *ild is /ill ego-c5tric1 b 9 a diff]5t way4 ,at ! age ( ?ree he 0 ! k+ ( ! _w2 at ! age ( sev5 he is ! k+ ( ! o!r boys :o play ) him4 ,he is n[ reckon+ ) society1 & he uses society z a backgr\nd aga9/ :i* he may play ! h]o4 ,?us be ble$s ,jack's nose = no reason 9 ! _w o!r ?an t he ?us ass]ts himself4 ,if he plays horses ) ! boy next door he insi/s ^u be+ ! driv]4 ,x is at ?is p]iod t he %\ld be free f au?ority4 ,if au?ority 9 ! %ape ( fa!r or tea*] or policeman /eps 9 to suppress 8 self-ass]tion ! boy becomes an enemy ( all au?ority & v (t5 anti-social4 ,! rebel 9 ! ,sociali/ camp is a good specim5 ( ! man ^: self-ass]tive p]iod 0 injur$ by au?ority1 & ,i suspect t ! trucul5t drunk is lett+ (f ! /eam t he %\ld h let (f at ! age ( eight4 ,! ?ird /age 9 ! evolution ( a *ild is ! adolesc5t /age4 ,= ! fir/ "t ! boy becomes a unit 9 society4 ,hi!rto he has play$ = 8 own h&2 8 games h be5 games 9 :i* p]sonal pr[ess 0 ! desir$ aim4 ,n[ he feels t he is "o ( a team4 ,ev5 be=e pub]ty ! team-=m+ impulse is se52 ,putt]1 = in/ance1 9 ,! ,boy & 8 ,gang1 gives t5 to sixte5 z ! gang age4 ,^! divisions are purely arbitr>y1 & *ildr5 diff] mu* 9 evolution4 ,! tea*]1 h[ev]1 %\ld h a g5]al k ( ^! ?ree phases4 ,i h (t5 se5 a s*ool prescribe cricket or hockey = boys :o are /ill 9 ! self-ass]tive /age4 ,! result 0 t1 hav+ no team impulse1 ea* boy _h no fur!r int]e/ 9 ! game :5 ! umpire %\t$3 ,out6 ,i us$ to umpire = boys & girls ( eight to elev51 & x 0 a tiresome bus9ess4 ,q (t5 :5 a boy _h be5 b[l$ ) ! fir/ ball1 he w\ld ?r[ d[n ! bat 9 disgu/ & refuse to give ! o!r side an inn+s4 ,!re 0 no?+ wrong ) ! *ildr52 :at 0 wrong 0 t a team phase game 0 be+ =c$ on a self-ass]tive phase gr\p4 99 99 99 99 99 ,duncan & two o!r dom9ies 7 9 to-night & we got on to golf y>ns4 ,i rem>k$ t !re 7 v few good ones1 & !y all trott$ out _! fav\rites4 ,i lik$ ,duncan's be/4 ,an oldi% man 0 pl\gh+ 8 way to ! t5? hole at ,/4 ,&rews1 &1 :5 he ultimately hol$ out 9 n9ete51 he turn$ to 8 caddie4 ,caddie1 he cri$ 9 disgu/1 ?is is ! wor/ game ,i ev] play$4 ,! caddie />$ at him op5-m\!d4 ,s ye h play$ a=e1 h ye8 he gasp$ 9 amazem5t4 ,:y are !re no cricket or football /ories1 ,i wond]8 ,possibly because !y are team games2 a team is a cr[d1 & ,i nev] he>d ( a joke aga9/ a cr[d4 ,a cr[d is an imp]sonal ?+1 & no "o c joke ab\t an imp]sonal ?+4 ,i nev] he>d ( a joke ab\t ! moon or a turnip4 ,yet are !re n jokes aga9/ a nation1 & a nation is a cr[d8 ,take ! joke ab\t ! ,scot :o 0 br\ght up at ,b[ ,/reet = be+ drunk & disord]ly4 ,! magi/rate1 be=e pass+ s5t5ce1 ask$ ! accus$ if he _h any?+ to say = himself4 ,weel1 ma "l1 x 0 l ?is4 ,i travell$ frae ,glesga to ,london ye/]day1 & ,i got into bad company 9 ! tra94 ,bad company8 ,aye1 ma "l4 ,:5 ,i got into ! tra9 at ,glesga ,c5tral ,i _h twa bottles o' :uskey 9 my bag1 & 4 4 4 a' ! o!r m5 9 my comp>tm5t 0 teetotal4 ,t looks l a joke aga9/ a long-suff]+ race1 b is x s 9 reality8 ,make ! travell] an ',ood]sfield' man on 8 way to see ! ,cup-tie ,f9al at ,*elsea1 & x is n *ang$ 9 ess5ce4 ,only x has become a conv5tion t ! ,scot is a h>d dr9k]4 ,x is ! p]sonal t\* t makes ! joke1 & x is ! individual t we laugh at4 ,i presume t ! typical joke ab\t ,scots' meanness appeals to ,engli%m5 because ,engli%m5 are mean !mselves4 ,no joke appeals to a man unless x releases "s repress$ wi% ( 8 own4 ,no "o expects a dev\t ,roman ,ca?olic to see ! po9t ( a joke ab\t extreme unction4 ,! pr(essional com$ian to be a success mu/ "k :at ! cr[d repressions are4 ,dick5s is a great humori/ because he knew by intuition :at ! cr[d w\ld laugh at4 ,& t br+s me to ! subject ( human types4 ,broadly speak+ !re are two types ( man4 ,"o is call$ an extrov]t 7,lat91 to turn outw>ds72 he id5tifies himself ) ! cr[d1 & he lives ! life ( ! cr[d4 ,lloyd ,george & ,horatio ,bottomley are typical extrov]ts2 !y seem to "k in/9ctively :at ! cr[d is ?9k+1 & unconsci\sly !y speak & act z ! cr[d wants !m to speak & act4 ,dick5s 0 ano!r1 & t is :y he has s univ]sal an appeal4 ,! o!r type1 ! introv]t type1 turns inw>d4 ,!y d n id5tify !mselves ) ! cr[d4 ,:at ! public wants does n conc]n !m2 !y give ! cr[d :at !y ?9k x ought to want4 ,?is class includes ! ?9k]s1 ! m5 :o are 9 advance ( _! "t4 ,an introv]t is nev] popul> ) ! cr[d because ! cr[d nev] und]/&s him4 ,he c nev] get away f himself1 & he sums up ev5ts accord+ to ! p]sonal effect !y h on himself4 ,yet to ! unconsci\s ( ! introv]t cr[d op9ion is ( ! greate/ importance4 ,9 ! realm ( hum\r ! extrov]t is a success2 :at amuses him amuses ! cr[ds4 ,b ! introv]t laughs alone1 & 9 "s cases he decides t ! cr[d has no s5se ( hum\r1 & he becomes a cynic4 ,x is necess>y t ! tea*] %\ld be able to recognise ! diff]5t types4 ,! extrov]t is popul>2 he x is :o leads ! gang4 ,d\bts & fe>s d n tr\ble him2 life is pleasant & he laughs 8 way ?r\gh x4 ,b ! introv]t is ! boy :o /&s ap>t 9 a corn] ( ! playgr\nd2 he is timid & fe>s ! r\gh & tumble ( team games4 ,he feels inf]ior & he turns 9 ^u himself to f9d sup]iority4 ,?us he w day-dream ( situations 9 :i* he is a h]o l ,david ,copp]field :5 he /ood at ,dora's g>d5 gate & saw himself rescu+ h] f ! burn+ h\se4 ,i ?9k t ! job ( ! tea*] is to help ea* type to a position midway betwe5 introv]sion & extrov]sion4 ,! boy :o lives 9 ! cr[d might well be tempt$ to take m int]e/ 9 8 own individuality1 & ! introv]t might well be enc\rag$ to project 8 emotions outw>d4 99 99 99 99 99 ,to-night ,mac told me a /ory ab\t old ,simpson ! dom9ie ov] at ,pik]ton4 ,la/ summ] an ,engli% bi%op 0 t\r+ ,scotl&1 & "o morn+ he drove up to ,simpson's s*ool 9 a big c>1 flung op5 ! door & walk$ 94 ,good morn+1 *ildr51 he cri$4 ,! bairns sat gaz+ at him 9 awe4 ,he turn$ to ,simpson4 ,my good sir1 he prote/$1 :5 ,i ent] a village s*ool 9 ,engl&1 ! *ildr5 all rise & say3 ',good morn+1 sir'6 ,possibly1 said ,simpson dryly1 b 9 ,scotl& *ildr5 are n accu/om$ to see /rang]s walk into a s*ool4 ,scots visitors always knock at ! door & await ! headma/]'s invitation to ent]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,mac & ,i 7 talk+ ab\t education to-night4 ,i nev] he>d y m5tion ! tea*+ side ( education1 he rem>k$4 ,giv+ a *ild fre$om isn't en\gh1 y "k4 ,:at ab\t ,hi/ory & ,geography & s on8 ,i ?9k !y are jolly well taught 9 _m s*ools1 ,mac1 ,i said4 ,x is ! psy*ological side ( education t is a ?\s& ye>s beh9d ! times4 ,yes1 said ,mac d\btfully1 b suppose y h a s*ool ( y\r own1 ,i presume y'd tea* ! ,engli% y\rself8 ,i nodd$4 ,h[ w\ld y d x8 ,i ?\ght = a :ile4 ,i'd rev]se ! usual process1 ,mac1 ,i said4 ,usually ! tea*] beg9s ) ,*auc] & works =w>d to ,dick5s2 ,i w\ld beg9 ) ,comic ,cuts & ,dead-wood ,dick & "w back to ,*auc]4 ,oh1 d be s]i\s = once1 he said impati5tly4 ,i am q s]i\s1 ,mac1 ,i said4 ,! only ?+ t matt]s 9 s*ool "w is int]e/1 & ,i "k f exp]i5ce t ! *ild is int]e/$ 9 ,comic ,cuts b n 9 ! ,cant]bury ,tales4 ,my job is to enc\rage ! boy's int]e/ 9 ,comic ,cuts4 ,i ignor$ ,macdonald's ref]5ce to idiocy1 & w5t on4 ,y see1 ,mac1 :at y d is ?is3 y see a boy read+ ,dead-wood ,dick1 & y take 8 pap] away f him & possibly :ack ! little *ap = wa/+ 8 "t4 ,b y don't kill 8 int]e/ 9 p5ny dreadfuls1 & ! result is t 9 lat] ye>s he reads ! ,sunday pap] t supplies ! mo/ lurid details ( murd]s & outrages4 ,my way is to enc\rage ! lad to dev\r tales ( blood & ?und] s t 9 a %ort "t blood & ?und] h no m int]e/ = him4 ,! reason :y mo/ ( ! lit]ature publi%$ to-day is tripe is t ! public likes tripe1 & x likes tripe because its infantile int]e/ 9 tripe 0 suppress$ 9 fav\r ( ,*auc] & ,%akespe>e4 ,b1 cri$ ,mac1 isn't ,%akespe>e bett] = him ?an tripe8 ,yes & no4 ,if e poet 7 a ,%akespe>e ! _w w\ld be a dull place2 y ne$ ! tripe to =m a contra/4 ,! be/ way to enjoy ! qu9tess5ce ( roses1 ,mac1 is to take a walk ?r\gh ! dung-heaps fir/4 ,:at books w\ld y advise y\r pupils to read8 ask$ ,mac4 ,9 _! prop] sequ5ce 4 4 4 ,comic ,cuts1 ,deadwood ,dick1 ,john ,bull1 ,answ]s1 ,pe>son's ,weekly1 ,boy's ,own ,pap]1 ,sc\t1 ,treasure ,isl&1 ,k+ ,solomon's ,m9es1 ,:ite ,fang1 ,! ,call ( ! ,wild1 ,! ,invisible ,man1 practically any?+ ( ,jack ,london1 ,rid] ,hagg>d1 ,conan ,doyle1 ,kipl+4 ,& s]i\s lit]ature8 ,all lit]ature is s]i\s1 ,mac4 ,i mean ,dr4 ,johnson1 ,swift1 ,bunyan1 ,milton1 ,dryd51 & t lot1 said ,mac4 ,i smil$4 ,mac1 ,i want y to answ] ?is "q3 h y read ,boswell's ,life ( ,johnson8 ,extracts1 he admitt$ awkw>dly4 ,bunyan's ,life & ,dea? ( ,mr4 ,badman8 ,no4 ,milton's ,areopagitica8 ,er--no4 ,swift's ,tale ( a ,tub8 ,no4 ,i sigh$4 ,w\ld y l to read !m8 ,i ask$4 ,i don't ?9k !y w\ld int]e/ me1 he admitt$4 ,!n 9 heav5's "n1 :y expect *ildr5 to h any int]e/ 9 !m8 ,if ^! classics w]5't %ov$ d[n *ildr5's ?roats ! adult population ( ?is c\ntry w\ld be sitt+ ( an ev5+ read+ & enjoy+ ,milton in/ead ( ,john ,bull4 ,mac w\ld n h ?is4 ,*ildr5 mu/ read ! classics s t !y may get a good /yle1 he said4 ,/yle be bl[$6 ,i cri$4 ,! only way to get a /yle is by writ+4 ,mac1 ,i %\ld cut out all ! lectures ab\t ,*auc] & ,sp5s] & ,%akespe>e1 & let ! *ildr5 write dur+ ! ,engli% p]iod 4 4 4 if ,i _h p]iods1 :i* ,i w\ldn't4 ,i don't want /yle f kiddies2 ,i want to see !m create 9 _! own way4 ,if !y are free to create !y w =m _! own /yle4 ,9 a conv]sation "o always has a t5d5cy to ov]/ate a case1 & z ! argum5t w5t on ,i f\nd myself say+ wild ?+s4 ,writ+ calmly n[ ,i /ill hold to my attitude conc]n+ /yle4 ,i love a book writt5 9 f9e /yle1 b ,i refuse to impose /yle on *ildr54 ,9 e *ild !re is a gigantic prote/4 ,?us ! son ( pray+ p>5ts (t5 turns out to be a sc(f]4 ,i _h a good in/ance ( ! dang] ( sup]imposition ( /yle4 ,i _h a class ( boys & girls ( fifte51 sixte51 & sev5te5 ye>s ( age4 ,= "o p]iod a week we all wrote five m9ute essays1 & !n we read !m out4 ,sometimes we w\ld make criticisms2 = in/ance "o girl us$ ! ^w bea/ly 9 a s]i\s essay1 & we all prote/$ aga9/ x4 ,!n "o day ! head-ma/] decid$ t !y %\ld write essays = him4 ,he set a s]i\s subject--,! ,function ( ,au?ority1 ,i ?9k x 0--& !n he w5t ov] _! books ) a blue p5cil & correct$ _! spell+ & /yle4 ,?ree days lat] my ,engli% p]iod came r\nd4 ,i ent]$ ! room & f\nd ! class sitt+ r\nd ! fire4 ,hullo6 ,i said1 ar5't y go+ to write8 ,no1 gr[l$ ! class4 ,:y n8 ,f$ up ) writ+4 ,we want to talk ab\t economics or psy*ology4 ,a =tnight lat] !y made an attempt to write %ort essays1 b x 0 a mis]able failure2 all ! joy 9 creation _h be5 kill$ by t blue p5cil4 ,i c give an example ( ! o!r way1 ! only way4 ,"o boy ( fifte5 hat$ writ+ essays1 & :5 ,i began ! five m9ute essay game he sat & read a book4 ,aft] a "t ,i gave out ! subject ,my/]y1 & ,i saw him look up quickly ) fla%+ eyes4 ,phew6 ,:at a ripp+ subject6 he cri$1 ,i mu/ h a %ot at t6 ,8 %ot 0 promis+1 & he cont9u$ to make %ots1 until "s ( 8 essays 7 prais$ by ! class4 ,!n "o day he came to me4 ,i don't "k any?+ ab\t /ops & ?+s1 he said1 & ,i want y to tell me ab\t !m4 ,?is is my ideal ( education2 no *ild ev] le>ns a ?+ until he wants to le>n x4 ,t lad pick$ up all he want$ to "k ab\t /ops 9 half-an-h\r4 ,he 0 int]e/$ 9 /ops because he want$ to write bett] essays4 ,i ne$ h>dly say t he _h li/5$ to hundr$s ( lessons on /ops dur+ 8 s*ool c>e]4 99 99 99 99 99 ,to-morr[ ,i return to ,london1 & to-night ,i w5t ov] to say good-bye to ,dauvit4 ,aye1 dom9ie1 & s ye're gae9' back to ,london6 he said4 ,i don't want to leave ?is lazy life1 ,dauvit1 ,i said1 b ,i mu/ g back & />t my s*ool4 ,x'll co/ ye "s bawbees to gang to ,london1 put 9 ,jake ,to%4 ,p5ny ?ree ha'p5nies a mile noo-a-days ,i ond]/&4 ,a %ull9' a mile = corps1 rem>k$ ! und]tak]4 ,dauvit *uckl$4 ,s ye'll bett] no dee 9 ,london1 dom9ie1 he laugh$4 ,& t rem9ds me ( ,pet] ,wilson1 him t pass$ into ! ,civil ,s]vice & ga$ to ,london4 ,he came hame onexpect$ly wan morn9' & 8 fa!r he says3 ',:at 9 a' ! e>? bro*t ye hame 9 ! mon? o' ,febru>y1 ,pet]8 ,surely ye d9na hae a holiday ! noo8' ',no1' says ,pet]1 'b ,i _h a cauld & ,i ?o*t ,i 0 maybe takk9' pewmonia1 &1 weel fa!r1 corpses is a bob a mile on ! railway4' ,dauvit1 ,i said1 ,i don't c>e :]e ,i am buri$4 ,is t s8 ask$ ,jake 9 surprise4 ,:at's become o' y] patriotism1 dom9ie8 ,i canna ond]/& a man no want+ to be buri$ 9 8 a9 c\ntry4 ,= my pairt ,i wudna l to be buri$ ony place b ! wee kirkyaird up ! brae !re4 ,dauvit grunt$4 ,:at does x matt]1 ,jake1 :aur ye're buri$8 ,goad1 said ,jake1 x matt]s a lot4 ,! grund up 9 ! kirkyaird is ! be/ grund 9 ,scotl&4 ,x's a' s&1 & !y tell me t y] corp w keep = ye>s 9 t grund4 ,dauvit laugh$1 b ! o!rs seem$ to take ,jake's pres]vation argum5t s]i\sly4 ,jake1 said ,dauvit1 does x no /rike ye t to be buri$ 9 y] native place is a disgrace8 ,hoo t1 na8 said ,jake4 ,because ! man t bides 9 ! place he 0 born 9 is ( nae importance4 ,a' ! be/ m5 leave _! native village1 aye1 & _! native c\ntry4 ,aye1 lads1 ! be/ m5 & ! wor/ wom5 leave _! native c\ntry4 ,i s9c]ely tru/ t y are n ins9uat+ t !y leave toge!r1 ,dauvit1 ,i put 9 ha/ily4 ,no1 !y d9na d t1 dom9ie2 b :e!r !y meet 9 ,london ,i d9na k51 & he smil$ wick$ly4 ,jake spat 9 ! grate4 ,i d9na see :at ! attraction o' ,london is1 he said ) a t\* ( contempt4 ,x is r difficult to describe1 ,i said4 ,= "o ?+ y feel t y are 9 ! c5tre ( ?+s4 ,y are 9 ! mid/ ( all ! be/ plays & conc]ts & processions 4 4 4 & y nev] ?9k ( go+ to see !m4 ,!n all ! important p are !re1 ! ,k+ & ,lloyd ,george & ,b]n>d ,%aw 4 4 4 b y nev] see !m any:]e4 ,!n !re are ! places ( hi/oric int]e/1 ! ,t[]1 ,we/m9/] ,abbey1 ,/4 ,paul's 4 4 4 & y don't "k :]e !y are until y\r c\s9s come up = a week's trip1 & !n y ask a policeman :]e ! ,t[] is4 ,& ! /range ?+ is t y get to love ,london4 ,!re w be a fell puckle fun]als ,i d>esay1 said ! und]tak]4 ,to tell ! tru?1 ,i answ]$1 ,i h nev] se5 a fun]al 9 ,london4 ,9 ! suburbs1 yes1 b nev] 9 ! c5tre ( ! ,we/ ,end4 ,i've (t5 se5 !m at ! crematorium 9 ,gold]s ,gre54 ,! und]tak] fr[n$4 ,t cremat9' bus9ess %ud be aboli%$ by act o' ,p>liam5t1 he said gruffly4 ,x's j a wa/e o' guid wood & coal4 ,!y tell me x taks twa ton o' coal ilka "t4 ,i 0 surpris$ to f9d t ! broad-m9d$ ,dauvit agre$ ) ! und]tak] 9 condemn+ cremation4 ,i suspect t e>ly tra9+ has some?+ to d ) x1 & !re may be an unconsci\s connect+ ( cremation ) hell-fire4 ,dauvit's argum5t t cremation w\ld de/roy ! evid5ce 9 poison+ cases 0 a pure rationalisation4 ,i wond]$ :y ! topic ( fun]als kept com+ up1 & ,i laugh+ly put ! matt] to ,dauvit4 ,maybe x's because we're sad because ye're gae9' awa1 he said half-s]i\sly4 ,we'll miss y] crack at ni*ts4 ,at la/ ,i got up to g4 ,aweel1 ,dauvit1 ,i'll be go+1 ,i said4 ,aweel1 s long1 said ,dauvit )\t look+ up4 ,! o!rs said ,guidni*t or ,s ,long1 & ,i w5t out4 ,i 0 sorry to leave ^! good fri5ds1 & !y 7 sorry to lose me2 yet we p>t$1 x may be1 = ye>s1 j z if we 7 to see ea* o!r to-morr[4 ,we are a que] race4 ,,xi4 ,:5 ,i arriv$ 9 ,london to-night ,i receiv$ a bl[4 ,a lett] await$ me say+ t ! l&lord ( ! s*ool ,i 0 tak+ ov] _h decid$ to sell ! prop]ty4 ,?us all my dreams ( a free s*ool vani%$ 9 smoke4 ,!re isn't a h\se to r5t 9 ,london2 ?\s&s are = sale1 b ,i h no money to buy4 ,if ,i _h money ,i %\ld hesitate to buy1 = if a s*ool is a success x exp&s1 & ! ideal ?+ to d is to take x out to ! c\ntry :]e !re is fre% air & space to gr[4 ,to-night ,i feel pessimi/ic2 x is difficult to be an optimi/ :5 a long-plann$ s*eme sudd5ly falls to pieces4 ,i ?9k ( my capitali/ fri5d ,l9dsay4 ,he c\ld buy me a s*ool to-morr[1 & nev] miss ! money1 b ,i don't ?9k ,i %\ld accept x4 ,he w\ld always h a big say 9 ! runn+ ( x1 & 8 ideals are n m9e4 ,i "k o!r p ) money1 b ,i fancy t !y h no fai? 9 me4 ,t is "o ( ! disadvantages ( writ+ light books l ,a ,dom9ie's ,log4 ,! adult reads x & says3 ,funny *ap ?is6 ,b p h little fai? 9 funny *aps4 ,y c be a funny *ap if y are a magi/rate or a cab9et m9i/]1 b a tea*] mu/ be a /aid dignifi$ p]son4 ,he mu/ be a man :o by 8 s]i\s demean\r w impress ! *ildr5 & lead !m out ( ! morass ( orig9al s9 9 :i* !y 7 born4 ,montessori is cat*+ on 9 ! educational _w n entirely because ( h] excell5t sy/em2 "p ( h] success is due to ! fact t %e nev] makes a joke2 %e is always ! dignifi$ moral model tea*]4 ,poor ,montessori6 ,"h ,i am transf]r+ my irritation at ! l&lord :o sold my s*ool to h]4 ,i beg h] p>don4 ,nor am ,i really annoy$ ) ! l&lord2 ! p]son ,i am annoy$ ) is myself4 ,i bungl$ t s*ool bus9ess4 ,n[ ,i feel bett]4 ,:5 ,i am irritat$ ,i always ?9k ( ! travell] f ,/4 ,&rews4 ,he arriv$ at ,leu*>s ,junction & _h five m9utes to wait = ! ,ed9burgh tra94 ,he ent]$ ! b> & _h a dr9k4 ,he _h a second dr9k1 & !n awoke to ! fact t he _h miss$ ! tra94 ,! next tra9 0 due 9 two h\rs4 ,! b>maid %ut ! b> betwe5 tra9s & ! travell] w5t out on ! plat=m4 ,x 0 a cold ra9y ,novemb] night4 ,he w5t to ! wait+ room1 b !re 0 no fire !re4 ,anyway1 he said1 ,i'll h a smoke1 & he fill$ 8 pipe4 ,!n he f\nd t he _h b "o mat* left4 ,he /ruck x1 & x w5t out4 ,he w5t out to ! plat=m & f\nd an old port] screw+ d[n ! lamps4 ,! port] knelt d[n to tie 8 lace & ! travell] approa*$ him4 ,c\ld y oblige me ) a mat*8 ,! old port] ey$ him dispassionately4 ,i d9na smoke4 ,i d9na believe 9 smok9'4 ,i d9na hae a mat*4 ,! travell] walk$ we>ily =w>d to an automatic ma*9e & ins]t$ 8 la/ p5ny 4 4 4 & drew out a b> ( butt]scot*4 ,he toss$ x ov] ! l9e1 & !n he ?rew 8 pipe aft] x4 ,he walk$ along ! plat=m1 & !n he came back4 ,! old port] 0 aga9 ty+ 8 lace4 ,! travell] sudd5ly ru%$ at him & kick$ him z h>d z he c\ld4 ,:at did ye d t =8 dem&$ ! poor old man :5 he pick$ himself up4 ,! travell] turn$ away 9 disgu/4 ,o*1 to hell wi' y2 ye're ay ty+ y\r lace6 he said4 ,lots ( p _c see ! joke 9 ?is y>n1 & ,i *all5ge anyone to expla9 ! po9t4 99 99 99 99 99 ,good =tune came to rescue me f sorr[+ ov] my lo/ s*ool4 ,x s5t me to ,holl& ?uswise3 ab\t five hundr$ ,fam9e ,area *ildr5 7 com+ f ,vi5na to ,engl&1 & ,i 0 invit$ to become "o ( ! escort4 ,!n x /ruck me t ,i might g ov] e>li] & h a look at ! ,dut* s*ools4 ,i ha/5$ to get a few passport photographs2 ,i look$ at !m 4 4 4 & !n ,i ?\ght ,i %\ldn't risk go+4 ,h[ev]1 on second ?\ghts1 ,i decid$ to risk x1 & w5t to ! passport (fice4 ,!re a g5tleman ) a big cig> look$ at ! photograph2 !n he look$ at me4 ,! face ( a crim9al1 8 eyes seem$ to say z he /udi$ ! photo4 ,isn't x l me8 ,i ask$ 9 al>m4 ,q a good lik5ess1 he said brusquely1 & pass$ me on to ! next pigeon-hole4 ,at la/ ,i l&$ 9 ,flu%+1 & a k9d gu>d f\nd me a c>riage4 ,!re ,i began to le>n ! ,dut* language4 ,niet rook54 ,scots reek means smoke3 hurrah6 d n smoke6 ,v]bodd5 te spuw54 ,x is =bidd5 to---- no1 t w\ldn't be nice6 ,got x6 ,d n spit6 ,at ?is juncture a pretty ,s*ev5+5 lassie ent]$ & greet$ me4 ,alas6 ,i knew b five words ( ,dut*1 & :5 ,i ?\ght ! matt] ov] ,i conclud$ t !y 7 n v appropriate = c>ry+ on a mild flirtation4 ,/ill1 x's wond]ful h[ mu* y c d ) facial expression4 ,j be=e ! tra9 />t$ a man ent]$4 ,he knew ,engli%1 & ) m k9dness ?an k ( humanity he (f]$ to act z int]pret]4 ,! ass6 z if a fell[ c tell a girl ?r\gh an int]pret] t h] hair is j ! %ade he admires4 ,?is fi%] lassie 0 ! only pretty girl ,i saw 9 ,holl& 9 t5 days4 ,rott]dam4 ,my fir/ & abid+ impression 0 t nev] be=e _h ,i se5 s _m badly-dress$ p4 ,if ,i _h money & a pr(ite]+ complex ,i %\ld set up a ,bond ,/reet %op 9 ! c5tre ( ,rott]dam4 ,no1 t's wrong2 t wasn't my fir/ impression at all3 my fir/ impression 0 ( a w9d[ fill$ ) cig>s at six c5ts ea*--"o & a fif? p5ce4 ,f t mom5t ,i lov$ ,holl& & ! ,dut*4 ,:at did x matt] if _! clo!s 7 badly cut8 ,:at did any?+ matt]8 ,i div$ into t %op & b\ght tw5ty 4 4 4 & t5 y>ds f>!r on discov]$ a %op ) fatt] & long] cig>s at five c5ts ea*4 ,?ree days lat] 9 ! ,hague ,i walk$ r\nd ! cig> %ops = two h\rs1 dy+ = a smoke1 b n d>+ to buy a cig> at five c5ts le/ 9 ! next /reet ,i %\ld f9d a %op (f]+ !m at f\r c5ts4 ,x 0 9 ,rott]dam t ,i discov]$ h[ bad my mann]s 74 ,i 0 sitt+ 9 a cafe :5 a g5tleman ent]$4 ,he swept (f 8 hat & b[$ graci\sly 4 4 4 & ,i ha/ily put a protect+ h& on ! pocket conta9+ my pocket-book4 ,b e man :o ent]$ greet$ me 9 ! same way1 & ,i realis$ t ,i 0 9 a polite c\ntry4 ,by ! end ( ! week ,i 0 beat+ ! ,dut* at _! own game1 = ,i swept (f my hat to e policeman1 %opkeep]1 tramwayman ,i spoke to4 ,on a ,monday morn+ ,i walk$ =? to inspect ! ,dut* s*ools4 ,i saw a troop ( little girls foll[+ a mi/ress1 & ,i jo9$ ! procession4 ,!y turn$ into a playgr\nd1 & ,i foll[$4 ,i approa*$ ! lady4 ,d y speak ,engli%8 ,engeli%6 ,ja6 %e said ) a smile4 ,i am an ,engli%--no1 ,scots tea*]1 ,i expla9$1 & ,i %\ld l to see ! s*ool4 ,i w ask ! head-mi/ress1 %e said1 & ent]$ ! s*ool1 :ile ,i /ood & admir$ ! bonny :ite dresses ( ! girls4 ,%e return$ %ak+ h] head4 ,! head-mi/ress says t x is n all[$ to visit a s*ool 9 ,holl& )\t a p]mit f ! ,mansion ,h\se4 ,a rott5 c\ntry6 ,i gr[l$1 & w5t away4 ,9 ! /reet ,i ran into a gr\p ( boys l$ by a ma/] :o 0 smok+ a fat cig>4 ,speak ,engli%8 ,i ask$1 lift+ my hat gracefully4 ,ni*t5ri*tilbri*t1 he said2 at lea/ t's h[ x s\nd$4 ,?ank y1 ,i said1 lift$ my hat aga91 & fell 9 beh9d ! boys4 ,i 0 det]m9$ to see ?is ?+ ?r\gh4 ,i tackl$ him aga9 :5 we rea*$ ! playgr\nd4 ,i ! head w\ld see1 ,i began1 ! ob]-johnny1 ! *ef4 ,ja6 he exclaim$ ) an enlight5$ gr91 & nodd$4 ,9 t5 seconds ! *ief /ood be=e me4 ,he c\ld speak a brok5 ,engli%1 & said he w\ld be glad to %[ me r\nd4 ,x 0 a ?ird class s*ool1 & ,i ga!r$ t 9 ,holl& !re are ?ree grades ( ,/ate s*ool2 ! fir/ class is att5d$ by ! ri*1 ! second by ! middle class1 & ! ?ird by ! poor4 ,! s*ool 0 v l a ,bo>d ,s*ool 9 ,engl&4 ,! *ildr5 sat 9 ! famili> desks & 7 spoon-f$ by ! famili> tea*]4 ,!re 0 no?+ new ab\t x4 ,i notic$ t h& writ+ seem$ to be ! mo/ important ?+1 & ea* class tea*] pr\dly %[$ me ex]cise books fill$ ) beautiful copp]-plate writ+4 ,mo/ oblig+ class tea*]s !y 74 ,w\ld ,i l to he> "s s++8 ,x 0 wond]ful s++ 9 ?ree p>ts2 :at surpris$ me 0 t ! boys seem$ to be j z ke5 on s++ z ! girls4 ,i h always f\nd x o!rwise 9 ,scotl& & ,engl&4 ,9 ?is s*ool ,i got ! gratify+ news t corporal puni%m5t is n all[$ 9 ,dut* s*ools1 & lat] ,i le>n$ t ?is applies to all re=matories also4 ,i ?9k ! ,dut* are fond ( *ildr54 ,*ildr5 seem to be ev]y:]e4 ,i w5t to ! police-/ation to regi/] z an ali51 & z ! inspector 0 exam9+ my passport ?is wee girl ( ?ree toddl$ 9 & climb$ on 8 knees4 ,he laid d[n 8 p5 & fondl$ ! *ild4 ,!n 8 wife came 92 %e _h be5 out %opp+1 & want$ him to admire ! big potatoes %e _h b\ght4 ,i 0 delight$ to see ! human elem5t m+le ) ! (ficial4 ,a c\ntry t all[s wives & *ildr5 to mix up ) its r$-tape is on ! "r road to heal? if n weal?4 ,i w5t to ! ,hague next day1 & ,engli% fri5ds met me at ! /ation & pilot$ me to _! home4 ,next morn+ ,i visit$ an e/abli%m5t call$ ! ,obs]vatiehuis1 & f\nd t ! sup]9t5d5t _h sp5t six ye>s 9 ,engl& & _h an ,engli% wife4 ,! obs]vation h\se1 he expla9$1 is a home = bad boys4 ,:5 convict$ !y are s5t !re & are obs]v$4 ,if a boy is well-behav$ he is s5t to live ) a family & le>n a trade2 if he is incorrigible he is s5t to a re=matory4 ,i look$ 9 va9 = ! new psy*ological way ( treat+ del9qu5ts4 ,!re 0 discipl9e "h1 b x 0 k9dly discipl9e1 = ,mr4 ,engels is a k9dly man2 ! boys sang z !y swept ! /airs4 ,t 0 good1 yet1 x 0 ,mr4 ,engels t br\ght fre$om into ! s*ool2 8 successor may be a bully4 ,f ,mr4 ,engels ,i got a lett] ( introduction to a real re=matory 9 ,am]sfoort1 & (f ,i set4 ,am]sfoort is inl& & ,i expect$ to f9d mu* language difficulty !re1 = ,i ?\ght x unlikely t ,engli% w\ld be spok5 s f> inl&4 ,am]sfoort is a beautiful old t[n1 & ,i at once set out to f9d ! ,coppleport m5tion$ 9 my guide-book4 ,i suppose ,i look$ a lo/ s\l4 ,a y\? ( eighte5 jump$ (f 8 cycle & lift$ 8 cap4 ,!n he po9t$ to a badge he wore 9 8 coat4 ,boy sc\t6 he said4 ,excell5t6 ,i cri$1 y speak ,engli%8 ,he held out 8 h&4 ,good bye6 he said2 pleas$ y to meet6 ,h[ d y d8 ,i said4 ,he gr9n$4 ,god damn6 he said sweetly4 ,aft] t conv]sation seem$ to die d[n4 ,i manag$ to convey to him t ,i 0 look+ = ! ,coppleport1 & he l$ me to x4 ,gradually 8 ,engli% improv$1 & he told me ( 8 bro!r 9 ,engl&4 ,a nice lad4 ,i told him t ,i _h once _h a long conv]sation ) ! great ,b4,p41 b he look$ blank4 ,bad5 ,p[ell1 y\r *ief1 ,i expla9$4 ,he %ook 8 head2 he _h nev] he>d ( ,b4,p4 ,i ?9k n[ t :at 0 wrong 0 t he did n und]/& ! "n z ,i pron\nc$ x2 possibly he kn[s ,b4,p4 "u ! s\nd ( ,bahah ,povell or some?+ simil>4 ,on ! foll[+ morn+ ,i w5t to ! re=matory4 ,x 0 a beautiful build+ fitt$ ) e appliance necess>y 4 4 4 & "o n necess>y--a solit>y conf9em5t room4 ,a "y tea*]1 ,mr4 ,conijn1 a v dec5t *ap1 :o c\ld speak excell5t ,engli%1 %[$ me r\nd4 ,e door we came to _h to be op5$ ) a key & lock$ beh9d u4 ,"h !re 0 m ( milit>y discipl9e ?an 9 ! ,obs]vatiehuis1 b none ( ! boys look$ sulky or unhappy4 ,! relations ( ! boys & ! tea*]s 7 f9e2 z ,conijn pass$ a lad he w\ld pull 8 hair or pass a funny rem>k1 & ! boy w\ld gr9 & reply4 ,any self-gov]nm5t8 ,i ask$4 ,we tri$ x b x 0 no good4 ,x may "w ) ,engli% boys b n ) ,dut*1 said ,mr4 ,conijn4 ,did y h lock$ doors8 ,i ask$4 ,oh1 yes4 ,!n self-gov]nm5t hadn't ! gho/ ( a *ance to succe$1 ,i rem>k$4 ,we ent]$ a class :]e an old man ( ab\t eighty 0 tea*+ a gr\p4 ,:y d ^! lads keep _! eyes on ! gr\nd8 ,i ask$4 ,is _! _s cru%$ out ( !m8 ,conijn laugh$4 ,!y are admir+ y\r boots6 he cri$4 ,i wore a pair ( ski-+ boots on my trip1 & all ,holl& />$ op5-m\!d at !m4 ,if ,i _h be5 want$ = a murd] ,i don't ?9k anyone 9 ,holl& c\ld h id5tifi$ me1 = _! eyes nev] got above my boots4 ,"o ( ! ma/]s1 ,mr4 van ,some?+-or-o!r1 v tru/+ly l5t me 8 bike1 & on ! foll[+ day ,i cycl$ to ,l>5 to see ! ,humanit>ian ,s*ool !re4 ,ne>ly e road has a cycle pa? on "o side & a rid+ pa? on ! o!r1 b 9 spite ( ! excell5t roads ,i did n enjoy cycl+ 9 ,holl&2 a free :eel 0 ( little value on ! flat surface4 ,"o delightful feature ab\t cycl+ 9 ,holl& is t !re are no mid-day clos+ times = pubs1 b on ! o!r h& y _c raise mu* ( a ?ir/ 9 a flat c\ntry4 ,well1 ,i rea*$ ,l>5 aft] _m n>r[ escapes1 = ,i 0 cont9ually =gett+ t y keep to ! "r 9 ,holl&4 ,a po/man came along1 & ,i jump$ (f4 ,humanitaire ,s*ool8 ,i ask$ z ,i d(f$ my hat4 ,by 8 expression ,i judg$ t he did n "k ! in/itution "u t "n4 ,s*ool1 ,i said1 & he nodd$ & po9t$ to ! village ,/ate s*ool4 ,nay6 ,s*ool ,humanitaire6 ,i p]si/$4 ,at ?is juncture ano!r man came =w>d1 & ! two ( !m jaw$ away gutturally = "s "t4 ,i began to gr[ we>y4 ,hell6 ,i murmur$ to myself half al\d4 ,! po/man bright5$1 & enlight5m5t came to him4 ,engelissman6 he exclaim$4 ,li>6 ,i cri$1 ,i'm a ,scot1 & ,i left ! two ( !m discuss+ ,engelissm54 ,aft] mu* tr\ble & _m bitt] words ,i f\nd ! s*ool4 ,a g5tleman :o look$ extremely l ,b]n>d ,%aw be=e ,%aw's hair turn$ grey1 0 digg+ 9 a g>d5 ) a lot ( boys & girls4 ,he 0 ,mr4 ,elbr9k1 ! head-ma/]4 ,he c\ld speak ,engli% & he %[$ me r\nd4 ,! s*ool is r l :at is kn[n z ! crank s*ool 9 ,engl&4 ,9 a mann] x is ! sup]-crank s*ool1 = ev]yone on ! /aff is teetotal1 veget>ian1 & a non-smok]4 ,"h x 0 t ,i he>d ( ,ligh!>t = ! fir/ "t1 & ,i blu%$ = my ignorance ( ! g5tleman4 ,x appe>s t he 0 a great educational re=m]1 a sort ( ,froebel ,i fanci$1 = h&work seem$ to be ! ma9 consid]ation 9 ! s*ool4 ,b ,i regret to say t ! s*ool did n impress me mu*4 ,too _m *ildr5 7 do+ ! same sort ( "w2 !y sat 9 desks & held !mselves m or less rigid4 ,"h 0 b5evol5t au?ority aga91 n true fre$om4 ,all s*ools 9 ,holl& are ,/ate s*ools1 & ! ,humanit>ian ,s*ool is "o ( !m4 ,x is almo/ impossible = a ,/ate s*ool to be v mu* advanc$2 ,i ?9k x is impossible1 = ! ,/ate is ! national cr[d1 & a l>ge cr[d has little use = ! crank4 ,i return$ to ,am]sfoort1 :]e by ?is "t ,i _h become ! gue/ ( ! ,int]national ,s*ool ( ,philosophy4 ,?is is a build+ /&+ 9 ab\t tw5ty acres ( gr\nd amid ! p9e =e/s two miles s\? ( ! t[n4 ,i 0 ! sole gue/1 = ! summ] classes _h n />t$4 ,?is s*ool is ! beg9n+ ( a great movem5t4 ,"h /ud5ts f e c\ntry w meet & discuss life & education4 ,mr4 ,reiman1 ! presid5t1 talk$ long & e>ne/ly to me ab\t ! s*eme1 b ,i f\nd myself *all5g+ 8 insi/5ce on spiritual education4 ,! aim ( ! s*ool is to develop ! spiritual side ( man1 an excell5t aim 4 4 4 s long z man does n imag9e t by liv+ on ! high] plane he is annihilat+ 8 e>?ly self4 ,ev]yone !re 0 v1 v k9d to me1 b ,i did n feel q 9 my elem5t1 = ,i am n an obvi\sly spiritual p]son4 ,i f9d t ,i c discuss ! high] life be/ :5 ,i h a glass ( ,pils5] at my elb[ & a p5ny cig> 9 my m\?4 ,x is cle> t ,i h a complex ab\t ! high] life1 & x may be a s\r-grapes complex4 ,all ! same ,i %\ld l to att5d a summ] c\rse at ,am]sfoort & li/5 to ! wise m5 dilate on ! ,bhagavadgita1 ,psy*o-analysis & ,religion1 ,plato1 ,sufism1 & o!r subjects on ! programme2 anyway ,i w\ld h no prepossessions & prejudices 9 li/5+ to ,dr4 ,g4 ,r4 ,s4 ,meads' c\rse ( lectures on ,! ,my/ical ,philosophy & ,gnosis ( ! ,trismegi/ic ,tractates4 ,f ,am]sfoort ,i w5t to ,am/]dam4 ,um/]dum1 dree klasse1 returig1 ,i said to ! ticket (fice girl4 ,?ird class return8 %e ask$ ) a smile & gave me ! ticket4 ,i 0 indignant4 ,x is ! mo/ humiliat+ ?+ 9 ! _w to ask a "q 9 ,dut* & to be answ]$ 9 ,engli%4 ,9 ,rott]dam ,i _h /opp$ a seaf>+ look+ man & tri$ to ask him 9 ,dut* :at 0 ! way to ! ,hotel de ,france4 ,he li/5$ pati5tly :ile ,i /ruggl$ ) ! language2 !n he spat on my boot4 ,hotel de ,france8 he repli$ 9 broad ,cockney1 damn$ if ,i "k4 ,on ! way to ,am/]dam ,i got into a c>riage full ( f>m]s & "o ( !m made a rem>k to me4 ,i %ook my head4 ,engelissman8 he said4 ,i nodd$4 ,!n ^? m5 began to talk ab\t ,engelissm51 & !y talk$ & laugh$ all ! way to ,am/]dam4 ,e n[ & !n "o ( !m w\ld j]k 8 ?umb 9 my direction4 ,x 0 a try+ j\rney4 ,arriv$ 9 ,am/]dam ,i made = ! ,rijks ,museum4 ,at ! door a se$y-look+ man t\*$ me on ! arm4 ,guide1 sir8 ,no ?ank y4 ,two hundr$ rooms1 sir6 ,(ficial guide4 ,no ?ank y4 ,he kept pace ) me1 & 9 a weak mom5t ,i inquir$ 8 *>ge4 ,x 0 ?ree guild5 7five %ill+s71 & ,i saw at once t ! dirty dog _h won1 = he took on an air ( possession4 ,righto1 ,i said resign$ly1 & he l$ me into ! build+4 ,he began 8 tiresome patt]4 ,!es picture 0 pa9t$ 9 #aedg2 beautiful ees eet n8 ,wond]ful artee/6 ,i sigh$4 ,take me to ! ,rembr&ts1 ,i said4 ,i _c describe ?is incid5t4 ,i hat$ ! bea/ because ,i _h be5 s weak z to accept 8 s]vices4 ,! beauty ( ,rembr&t & ,franz ,hals 0 lo/ on me2 all ,i c\ld see 0 ! dirty face ( t guide4 ,rembr&t's ,night ,wat* made me =get ! creature = a mom5t1 b :5 he began to describe x ,i fl$ 9 horror4 ,we f9i%$ up 9 ! mod]n section1 & z ,i look$ at van ,gogh & ,czanne & ,:i/l]'s ,effie ,deans 8 squeaky voice kept up a runn+ comm5t>y4 ,i ru%$ f ! build+ aft] a t5 m9utes' t\r1 paid ! worm 8 ?ree guild5 4 4 4 & !n w5t back & enjoy$ ! gall]y4 ,b ,i ne>ly committ$ murd] 9 ! ,rijks ,museum t day4 ,if ev] ,i am hang$ x w be = murd]+ an (ficial guide4 ,?is p>ticul> specim5 spoil$ my visit to ,am/]dam4 ,i c\ld n get away f ! ?\ght ( my weakness1 & ,i fl$ ! city4 ,9 ! tra9 go+ back to ,am]sfoort a g5ial ,dut*man made a rem>k to me4 ,i resolv$ t ,i %\ld pret5d to be a fell[-c\ntryman4 ,ja6 ,i said1 & ! answ] seem$ to satisfy him4 ,he w5t on to say o!r ?+s1 & :5 8 facial expression seem$ to dem& an affirmative ,i said ,ja6 ,aft] a "t he fr[n$ z he said a s5t5ce4 ,nay6 said ,i4 ,t did x4 ,he became :ite ) ang]1 & swore at me all ! way to ,am]sfoort4 ,he _h a f9e comm& ( language1 too1 & ,i 0 extremely sorry t ,i c\ld n und]/& x4 ,on ! ,saturday ,i set (f on my return j\rney to ,rott]dam1 do+ a t\r 9 ,am]ican fa%ion ( ,leid5 on ! way4 ,x 0 l go+ home1 = ,i lik$ ,rott]dam4 ,i ?9k x 0 ! gay pa9t on ! b>ges t attract$ me s mu*4 ,on ! ,sunday morn+ ! ,au/rian kiddies arriv$1 & my sight-see+ end$4 ,,xii4 ,! ,au/rian kiddies arriv$ at ! ,maas /ation on ,sunday morn+1 & ! ,dut* folk gave !m a k9dly welcome4 ,! ,rott]dam committee 0 9 *>ge1 & ,i /ood back because x 0 n my job4 ,! kiddies came tumbl+ out ( ! tra9 ) great relief1 = !y _h travell$ = two nights4 ,all _h heavy rucksacks1 _m ( !m ! packs ( _! dead fa!rs & bro!rs4 ,my eye lit on little ,hansi4 ,%e /ood on ! plat=m cry+1 & ,i w5t =w>d to com=t h]4 ,alas6 ,i knew less ,g]man ?an ,i did ,dut*1 & ,i knew n :at %e said2 b "o ( ! ,au/rian escort told me t %e _h be5 homesick all ! way4 ,!re is1 h[ev]1 a univ]sal language t all *ildr5 und]/&1 & ,i took wee ,hansi 9 my arms & cuddl$ h]4 ,! fl[ ( te>s /opp$ & %e took f a small basket slung to h] neck a t9y nak$ doll4 ,i includ$ ,puppe 9 ! cuddle1 & ,hansi smil$4 ,a de> wee mite %e 01 v v ?91 ) great big eyes t 7 sunk54 ,h] te>s did n affect me1 b :5 %e smil$ ,i f\nd myself weep+1 & ,i _h to bl[ my nose h>d4 ,! f\r hundr$ & fifty-eight *ildr5 7 bundl$ across ! road to a %ip1 :i* took !m 9 two p>ts across ! ,maas to ! l>ge build+ us$ by ! ,cun>d ,l9e = emigrants4 ,_m ( !m ?\ght !y 7 on ! way to ,engl&1 & t5 m9utes lat] ,i f\nd a wee *ap gaz+ r\nd 9 wond] on ! l& ( ,engl&4 ,?is a9t ,engl&1 anywye1 he said at la/ 9 evid5t disgu/2 look at !m clogs6 ,?is is ,holl&4 ,! boy 0 a ,london] resid5t 9 ,vi5na4 ,!re 7 ab\t a doz5 ,engli% *ildr5 9 ! p>ty4 ,lat] ,i f\nd "o /&+ 9 front ( a gr\p ( ,au/rian boys4 ,any "o o' y1 he 0 %\t+1 ,i'll box ! :ole gang o' y6 ,?is ,cockney1 8 little bro!r1 & _! si/] 7 ! ?orn 9 ! fle% ( ! escort4 ,absolute t]rors1 decl>$ ev]yone1 b ,i lik$ !m4 ,_m ( ! *ildr5 7 middle class1 *ildr5 ( doctors1 lawy]s1 ar*itects1 & s on2 nice kiddies !y 74 ,! bigg] girls c\ld speak ,engli%1 & ,i us$ !m z int]pret]s4 ,on ! ,monday morn+ ! ,engli% escort took *>ge4 ,! fir/ task 0 m$ical inspection1 & ! two ,engli% doctors & f\r or five ,dut* doctors prep>$ = action4 ,our job 0 to m>%al ! kiddies1 help !m to take _! %irts (f1 & !n bundle !m into ! inspection room4 ,x s\nds easy1 b x 0 a we>y bus9ess4 ,y look$ d[n ! li/ = ,no4 #beh1 & y f\nd a "n4 ,mitzi ,dvoracek6 y call$1 & wond]$ :e!r a boy or a girl w\ld appe>4 ,!re 0 no answ] 4 4 4 & an h\r lat] y f\nd a little girl :o _h lo/ h] id5tity c>d1 & y conclud$ t %e 0 ,dvoracek1 b %e wasn't2 h] "n 0 ,leopold9e ,cz/hmkyghw1 or some?+ resembl+ t4 ,i 0 greatly tr\bl$ by _! que/ions4 ,foll[+ a me?od ,i _h us$ ) indiff]5t effect :ile conv]s+ ) g>rul\s ,dut*m5 9 railway c>riages1 ,i answ]$ ,ja & ,nay alt]nately4 ,_m ( ! *ildr5 />$ at me 9 wond] & ,i m>vell$ 4 4 4 until ,i discov]$ t mo/ ( !m _h be5 ask+ me ! way to ! lavatory4 ,aft] t ,i j po9t$ to a door 9 ! wall :5 a boy ask$ me a "q1 & :5 "o lad didn't seem to und]/&1 ,i took him by ! back ( ! neck & %ov$ him ?r\gh ! door4 ,!n ,i f\nd t he _h be5 ask+ ! "t4 ,i gave up reply+ to que/ions aft] t4 ,! *ildr5 _h all be5 exam9$1 & "o lad /ood alone2 he _h no c>d & no "o c\ld place him4 ,!n he confess$ t he 0 a /[away :o _h be5 too old to jo9 ! bat*1 & _h bo>d$ ! tra9 quietly at ,vi5na4 ,mrs4 ,ensor1 ! secret>y ( ! ,fam9e ,area ,committee1 prov$ h]self a sport by decl>+ t %e w\ld take him to ,engl&4 ,! good ,dut* folk also rose to ! occasion1 & w5t out & b\ght him a pair ( %ort tr\s]s4 ,9 ! aft]noon ,i sat d[n beside a few boys4 ,& !n ,i did a fatal ?+4 ,a boy dropp$ 8 p5cil & ,i pick$ x up1 ?rew x ov] ! h\se 4 4 4 & !n produc$ x f ano!r lad's pocket4 ,t did x4 ,9 two seconds ,i _h a hundr$ *ildr5 r\nd me ro>+ at me4 ,an ,au/rian lady expla9$ t !y 7 call+ me a magician & ask+ = m4 ,i blu%+ly told h] to expla9 to !m t x 0 my only trick4 ,sighs ( disgu/ foll[$1 & ,i 0 on ! po9t ( los+ my popul>ity :5 ,i ha/ily got ! lady to expla9 to !m t ,i _h a bett] tal5t 4 4 4 ,i c\ld make anyone laugh m]ely by look+ at him4 ,fifty ( !m at once *all5g$ me to beg91 & ,i _h a great "t4 ,"o lad beat me1 b !n he _h too?a*e1 a bli/]$ heel1 & 0 homesick4 ,aft] a "t ,i ask$ !m to s+ to me1 & !y sang sweet folk songs ( _! home4 ,!y 7 delightful s+]s1 & ! boys sang z eag]ly & z well z ! girls4 ,9 ,engl& boys usually hate s++4 ,i m>vell$ at _! all kn[+ ! same songs1 & "o ( ! girls expla9$ to me t 9 ,au/ria e s*ool has ! same songs2 m ?an t1 e s*ool has ! same class-books1 & if two *ildr5 liv+ a hundr$ miles ap>t meet on ! /reet !y c say to ea* o!r3 ,i'm at page #fg ( my ,geography4 ,:at page are y at8 ,!y dem&$ a song f me1 & ,i sang ,n[ is ! ,mon? ( ,may+1 &1 by special reque/1 ,tipp]>y4 ,!n ,i ask$ !m to s+ _! ,national ,an!m1 & ! lady began x1 b ! *ildr5 did n foll[ h]4 ,at my look ( surprise ! lady said3 ,!y _c s+ x because n[ !y feel t !y h no ,au/ria left to s+ ab\t4 ,a man's voice s\nd$ f inside ! build+1 & !y ru%$ indoors1 = x 0 ! voice ( _! belov$ ,m9i/ry ( ,heal? doctor1 :o _h br\ght !m f ,vi5na1 & !y all lov$ him4 ,!y =got me at once & left me 4 4 4 all b "o4 ,little ,hansi put h] wee h& 9 m9e & snuggl$ clos] 4 4 4 & t's :y ,i love h] s v mu*4 ,on ,tuesday morn+ !y all took up _! packs1 & we set (f = ,engl& via ! ,maas boat & /ation4 ,we pack$ into c>riages & set (f4 ,!re 0 no wat] on ! tra91 b we laugh$ & said3 ,we'll be 9 ,flu%+ 9 two h\rs6 ,we are a special6 ,we 74 ,we left ! ,maas /ation at "o o'clock1 & we travell$ until ?ree4 ,!n we drew up 4 4 4 & f\nd we 7 back at ! ,maas /ation4 ,:]e we _h be5 ,i don't "k1 b x 0 ! bigge/ my/]y ( my life4 ,well1 we crawl$ along pa/ picturesque villages :]e wom5 ) :ite caps & r$ arms smil$ on u & gave u wat] to dr9k4 ,& at eight o'clock we rea*$ ,flu%+ all v we>y & extremely dirty4 ,! kiddies _h a good meal set out on :ite tableclo?s1 & ! doctor & ,i _h ! be/ ,pils5] ( our lives4 ,we h&$ ov] ! kiddies to ! %ip /ew>ds & ! fre% escort f ,engl&1 & retir$ to re/4 ,i awoke at six & f\nd t all ! *ildr5 7 on deck1 & ! bad ,engli% boy almo/ 9 ! wat]1 = 8 heels 7 (f ! gr\nd & 8 head f> d[n t[>ds ! wat]4 ,he 0 look+ = fi%1 he said4 ,none ( ! *ildr5 _h se5 ! sea be=e1 b ,i ?9k !y 7 too tir$ to be excit$ ab\t x4 ,!y did become excit$ :5 !y saw ! cliffs ( ,dov]4 ,mu* to my annoyance a g5tleman _h be5 tea*+ !m ,god ,save ! ,k+ on ! way ov]4 ,i 0 annoy$ because ,i knew x 0 a piece ( j+oism meant = ! j\rnali/s at ,folke/one4 ,:5 we drew up at ! pi]1 sure en\gh ! g5tleman /ruck up ! tune1 & ! kiddies sang x4 ,b ! girls :o c\ld speak ,engli% sang ,god ,save ,,y\r ,graci\s ,k+4 ,i ?\ght x a beautiful t\*2 ! f9e/ piece ( good ta/e ,i h ev] come across4 ,i didn't l ! well-dress$ ladies :o came boss+ ar\nd at ,folke/one4 ,frankly ,i 0 jeal\s4 ,z ,i 0 lead+ ! *ildr5 (f ! /eam]1 "o ( !m t\*$ me on ! arm & ask$ me to make way = ! *ildr54 ,& ,i smil$ to see t ! wom5 9 ri* dresses manag$ someh[ to get 9 front ( ! cam]a4 ,we took ! *ildr5 to ,s&wi* by rail & !n to a camp by motor lorry4 ,x 0 a tiresome job load+ & unload+ ! lorry1 b aft] six trips ,i f\nd t e *ild 0 9 camp4 ,i w5t (f to h a wa% & "s tea1 & !n1 gl[+ ) self-satisfaction at all ,i _h done1 ,i lit a cig> & walk$ outside4 ,a g5tleman pass$ me4 ,are y a work]8 he dem&$4 ,i--er--,i suppose ,i am--9 a way1 ,i said mode/ly4 ,well1 don't y ?9k y might f9d some?+ to d8 he ask$4 ,!re's pl5ty to d1 y "k4 ,!n = ! fir/ "t 9 my life ,i und]/ood ! old ,mons ,ribbon m5 :o us$ to annihilate ! recruit ) ! t]se phrase3 ,a=e y came up6 ,! pressm5 pass$ by1 a doz5 ( !m ) ! /[away 9 _! mid/4 ,pres5tly !y pos$ him & a doz5 cam]as snapp$ :ile a c9ema burr$4 ,& next day ! pap]s told a romantic /ory2 ! /[away _h crept into ! tra9 at ,vi5na1 &1 foodless1 _h hid until he arriv$ 9 ,rott]dam4 ,!n d>kly he _h crept on bo>d ! %ip & _h be5 discov]$ at ,folke/one4 ,also :5 next day ,i saw 9 ! pictorial pap]s a photograph ( a boy viol9i/ play+ to 8 *ums1 ,i 0 n v mu* surpris$ to f9d ! title ( ! photo 03 ,! ,/[away ,ent]ta9s ,8 ,companions4 ,z a matt] ( fact1 ! fiddl] wasn't ! /[away at all1 b ?is incid5t makes me ?9k h>d ab\t hi/ory4 ,if a ,fleet ,/reet report] *anges "o boy into ano!r1 :y1 we may be all wrong 9 our hi/ory4 ,h5ry ,,viii4 may only h _h "o wife1 & ! report] :o int]view$ him may h _h s mu* sack to dr9k t 8 vision along ) ! j\rnali/ic t\* may h manufactur$ ! o!r five4 ,! tale ( ,k+ ,h>old be+ %ot ?r\gh ! eye at ! ,battle ( ,ha/+s may h aris5 f a report]'s us+ ! figurative expression t ,william ! ,conqu]or put 8 eye out4 ,nor1 aft] read+ ! acc\nt ( ! l&+ ( ! ,au/rian *ildr51 c ,i believe ! tale ( ! m9/rel ,taillif] :o sprang into ! wat] to lead ! ,normans 9 l&+4 ,& z = ! "t-hon\r$ phrases1 ,take away t bauble6 & ,engl& expects e man to d 8 duty1 ,i don't believe !y 7 ev] utt]$--n n[4 ,i am n s+l+ out j\rnali/s z special misreport]s4 ,n "o ( u c report an incid5t truly4 ,!re is a good example ( ?is tru? 9 ,swift's ,psy*ology & ,ev]yday ,life1 j publi%$4 ,swift prep>$ a /unt z a te/ = 8 adult class4 ,9 ! mid/ ( a s]i\s lecture two m5 & two wom5 /ud5ts creat$ a di/urbance outside 9 ! lobby1 !n !y bur/ into ! room4 ,"o held a banana pi/ol-wise at ano!r's head4 ,swift dropp$ a toy bomb1 & "o ( ! /ud5ts /agg]$ back cry+3 ,i'm %ot6 ,"o /ud5t dropp$ a p>cel conta9+ a brick1 & all yell$ & made mu* noise4 ,! class 0 s]i\sly al>m$ until !y 7 assur$ t ! :ole affair 0 a put-up job4 ,ea* /ud5t 0 ask$ to write an acc\nt ( :at _h happ5$1 & ! result ( _! attempts is s a/\nd+ t ! read] becomes unc]ta9 :e!r any witness 9 a law-c\rt ev] tells ! tru?4 ,few1 if any1 /ud5ts c\ld id5tify "o ( ! wrangl]s2 e acc\nt said t ! banana 0 a real pi/ol2 only "o or two saw ! brick drop4 ,! /range/ ?+ 0 t _m 7 q sure ( ! id5tity ( ! actors 4 4 4 & "o or two ( ! acc\nts nam$ /ud5ts :o _h long s9ce left ! college4 ,i write f memory1 b ! facts 7 z arre/+ z ! ones ,i h giv54 ,?is makes "o uneasy ab\t ! me?ods ! police adopt to id5tify a prison]4 ,if ,i saw a man %oot ano!r 9 ,piccadilly1 x is a ?\s& to "o *ance t ,i %\ld n be able to id5tify him lat]4 ,yet _m a man has be5 hang$ on id5tification4 ,b ,i meant to f9i% my acc\nt ( ! ,au/rian kiddies4 ,! "t came :5 ,i _h to leave !m & return to ,london4 ,i set out to f9d my ,hansi to say good-bye to h]4 ,i saw h] 9 ! di/ance 4 4 4 & !n ,i ran away1 = ,i hate say+ good-bye4 ,i lik$ ^? kiddies1 de> wee s\ls1 j z sweet z any ,engli% kiddies1 b !n *ildr5 h no nationality2 !y are lovable = !y all belong to ! ,nev] ,nev] ,l&4 ,b>rie prov$ himself a g5ius :5 he creat$ ,pet] ,pan1 = ,pet] symbolises man's highe/ wi%--to become a little *ild & nev] gr[ up4 ,g5ius1 he says1 is ! p[] ( be+ a boy aga9 at w4 ,x is true 9 8 case4 ,yet ?is k9d ( g5ius is retrospective2 x is a regression4 ,! g5ius :o w help man to look =w>d in/ead ( backw>d mu/ n return to boyhood2 he mu/ g =w>d to sup]man4 ,to put x psy*ologically1 ,b>rie's g5ius comes f ! unconsci\s1 b :at ! _w ne$s is a man ^: g5ius w come f ! sup]consci\s1 ! div9e4 ,,xiii4 ,i h j be5 read+ ,jack ,london's ,mi*ael1 ,bro!r ( ,j]ry1 & ,i am full ( righte\s rage4 ,:at a picture6 ,x is ! /ory ( h[ p]=m+ animals are tra9$1 & be=e ,i _h read half ! book ,i made a v[ t nev] aga9 w ,i sit ?r\gh a p]=mance ( animals4 ,! tale ( ,b5 ,bolt ! tig]1 if kn[n by ! masses1 w\ld kill e animal turn on ! /age4 ,b5 ,bolt1 fre% f ! jungle1 is brok5 by ! tra9]s4 ,! me?od is unspeakable2 he is la%$ ) iron b>s & /abb$ ) =ks until 9 agony he falls s5seless 9 ! ar5a4 ,?is treatm5t goes on = weeks 4 4 4 & 9 ! end _m good1 k9dly p see ,b5 ,bolt1 a mis]able1 brok5 animal1 sit up 9 a *air l a human4 ,& !y laugh4 ,my ,god6 ,!n !re is ,b>ney ! good-natur$ mule t 0 once a family pet4 ,lat] he becomes ! celebrat$ buck+ mule1 & a prize is (f]$ to anyone :o w keep on 8 back = "o m9ute4 ,audi5ces g into fits ( laught] at 8 antics4 ,b ! audi5ces d n "k t ,b>ney 0 tra9$ ) a spik$ saddle1 & t = mon?s life 0 "o long agony ( pa94 ,is my ang] due to ! cruelty ,i am repress+ 9 myself8 ,i don't c>e :e!r x is sadism or ! sp>k ( ! div9e 9 me4 ,all ,i c>e ab\t is t ?is inf]no ( pa9 mu/ cease4 ,nev] has any book affect$ me z ?is "o has done4 ,by ^w ( m\? & by my p5 ,i %all try my h>de/ to s5d de> old ,jack ,london's message r\nd ! _w4 ,public op9ion is ! only ?+ t c /op ! mis]y ( ^! brok5 creatures1 & ,i sugge/ t ! anti-vivisectioni/s turn _! en]gies to ?is inf9itely worse evil4 ,! vivisectioni/s1 at any rate1 are work+ = humanity1 b ! brutes :o break p]=m+ animals are m]ely amus+ cr[ds ( good p :o "k no?+ ab\t :at goes on beh9d ! sc5es4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i see 9 ! newspap] t ,m>y ,pick=d & ,d\glas ,fairbanks held up ! traffic 9 ,piccadilly4 ,!y appe>$ on a balcony at ! ,ritz1 & ! cr[d w5t frantic4 ,! sup]-h]o & ! sup]-h]o9e ( ! c9ema drew ! cr[d's emotion to !m1 & ,tagore ! ,indian poet arriv$ 9 t[n at ! same "t unnotic$4 ,x w\ld seem t ! cr[d responds to ! pres5ce ( ! unimportant p]son only4 ,london w5t mad ov] ,hawk] & ,jack ,johnson1 & ,georges ,c>p5ti]2 & if ,*>lie ,*apl9 7 to come ov]1 ,i fancy ,london w\ld take a g5]al holiday4 ,no "o w cont5d t ^! p are ( supreme importance 9 ! s*eme ( life4 ,*>lie is a funny little man2 ,d\glas ,fairbanks is a f9e lump ( a fell[2 ,m>y ,pick=d is a sweet little woman4 ,b ,tagore w live long]2 ,?omas ,h>dy1 ,b]n>d ,%aw1 ,b]tr& ,russell1 ,sigmund ,freud are ( great] mom5t to humanity1 yet ea* c\ld walk out ( ,padd+ton ,/ation & be unrecognis$ by ! cr[d4 ,! morn+ pap] %[s well t ! cr[d is int]e/$ only 9 uness5tials4 ,puni% ! pr(ite]s6 0 ! press cry a few mon?s ago4 ,well1 !y puni%$ ! pr(ite]s 4 4 4 & prices cont9u$ to rise4 ,a few ye>s ago ! cry 03 ,flog ! :ite slave traffick]s6 ,!y flogg$ !m1 & yet ,i /ill see ?\s&s ( :ite slaves 9 ! ,we/ ,end ( ,london4 ,& :ile ,europe is s9k+ into an>*y & bankruptcy to-day1 ! only rem$ies ! cr[d repres5tatives--! press--c ?9k ( are rem$ies ( ! ,hang-!-,kais] type4 ,i believe t ! cr[d /ill ?9ks t juv5ile crime is ma9ly caus$ by c9ema five-"p dramas4 ,! cr[d is r l ! individual unconsci\s2 x is primitive1 & l ! unconsci\s x c only wi%4 ,! cr[d t welcom$ ,m>y & ,d\glas 0 closely ak9 to ! p]sonal unconsci\s4 ,d\glas /&s to ea* individual 9 ! cr[d z ! et]nal h]o1 ! man :o always w9s4 ,ea* man 9 ! cr[d sees 9 ,d\glas 8 own ideal self1 s t :5 ! (fice boy *e]s ,d\glas he is *e]+ himself4 ,m>y has be5 well nam$ ! _w's sweet-he>t2 %e is ! ideal h]o9e1 beautiful1 wrong$1 protect$ by six foot ( mascul9ity4 ,bo? come f ! _w ( make-believe1 ! _w ( phantasy4 ,_! arrival 9 ,engl& simply made a dream come true4 ,n[ ,i am c]ta9 t if any individual 9 ! great ,piccadilly cr[d _h met ,d\glas & ,m>y on ! boat1 he or %e w\ld h look$ at !m ) int]e/1 b !re w\ld h be5 no *e]+ & ?r[+ ( roses4 ,:at ! cr[d does is to raise an emotion to a sup]lative degree4 ,9 a full hall y w laugh at a joke t w\ld n br+ a smile to y\r face 9 a room4 ,y become absorb$ 9 y\r cr[d1 & y are fully op5 to y\r cr[d's sugge/ion4 ,i g5]ally laugh at ,*>lie ,*apl91 b "o night a c9ema manag]1 a fri5d ( m9e1 gave me a private view ( ,*>lie's late/ production4 ,i sat alone 9 ! l>ge c9ema palace 4 4 4 & ,i c\ldn't ev5 smile4 ,_h a cr[d be5 !re to %>e my laugh1 ,i %\ld h ro>$4 ,! ,d\glas-,m>y episode makes me pessimi/ic ab\t ! future ( democracy4 ,= democracy is cr[d rule1 & ! cr[d is a baby :5 x isn't a savage4 ,yet we h no real democracy 9 ?is c\ntry4 ,we h a slave /ate1 ! exploit]s & ! exploit$1 ! haves & ! h nots4 ,d\glas & ,m>y came ov]1 & ! poor beauty-/>v$ populace =got = ! mom5t its pov]ty1 & %[]$ all its p5t-up emotion on ! p f picture-book l&4 ,9 ,elizabe?an times ! _w 0 a place ( wond]2 e m>9] 0 com+ home ) wondr\s tales ( ,spani% gold & m5 ) necks l bulls4 ,all y _h to d to f9d a reality t 0 m wond]ful ?an fancy 0 to sail away across ! sea4 ,b to-day ! _w holds no my/]y2 !re are no pirates to ov]come1 no prison$ maid5s to rescue4 ,reality means toil & taxes & tr\ble4 ,b !re is a l& :]e m5 are dew-lapp$ l bulls 4 4 4 ! l& ( phantasy4 ,!re is a society :]e ! villa9 always gets 8 des]ts 4 4 4 ! l& ( film pictures4 ,& :5 y\r h]o & h]o9e walk out ( ! picture & become real fle% & blood1 :at are y to d8 ,aft] all1 y _c p\r all y\r emotion into y\r looms & (fice-desks & c\nt]s4 ,sweet-fac$ ,m>y does n "k x1 b %e is "o ( ! be/ allies t our capitali/ sy/em c\ld h2 = if ! cr[d 7 n %[]+ its emotion on h] x might well be us+ x up 9 ! sma%+ ( all ! ugly ?+s 9 our civilisation4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i h be5 ?9k+ ( ! cr[d 9 ano!r aspect4 ,la/ ye> 9 a m]ry mood ,i sat d[n to write a novel4 ,i meant x to be a com$y1 b1 hav+ no control ov] ! *>act]s1 ,i f\nd t !y insi/$ 9 mak+ ! /ory a f>ce4 ,! result 0 ,! ,boom+ ( ,bunkie4 ,i ?\ght x a v funny book1 & ,i laugh$ at "s ( my own jokes & murmur$1 ,good6 ,i impati5tly await$ ! book's appe>ance1 & :5 ! day ( publication came ,i sat d[n hopefully to await ! press notices4 ,! fir/ "o to come 9 0 lukew>m4 ,:y d pap]s s5d a funny book to an old fossil ( a review] ) no s5se ( hum\r8 ,i said1 te/ily & wait$ = ! next po/4 ,well1 x came2 x br\ght ?ree adv]se notices & a lett]4 ,de> ,dom9ie1 ,i admir$ y\r ,log1 b :y1 oh :y1 did y p]petrate su* a mon/rosity z ,! ,boom+ ( ,bunkie8 ,!n a fri5d wrote me a lett]4 ,de> old *ap1--,y are suff]+ f ! effects ( ! w>4 ,if ! w> has induc$ y to write ,bunkie1 ,i am all = hang+ ! ,kais]4 ,= weeks ,i clung to ! belief t ! cr[d _h no s5se ( hum\r 4 4 4 !n ,i re-read my novel4 ,i /ill hold t x is funny 9 p>ts1 b ,i see :at is wrong4 ,x is a specialis$ type ( hum\r1 or r wit1 ! type t und]graduates might appreciate4 ,9 fact ,i 0 rec5tly gratifi$ to he> t ! /ud5ts ( a ,scots univ]sity 7 rhapsodis+ ab\t x4 ,! real fault ( ! book is t x is clev]1 & to be clev] is to be at once suspect4 ,i naturally l to ?9k t ! circulation ( a book is g5]ally 9 inv]se proportion to its intr9sic m]it4 ,j4 ,d4 ,b]es=d's novels are1 to me1 mu* bett] ?an ^? ( ! late ,*>les ,g>vice1 yet ,i make a guess t ,g>vice's circulation 0 _m times great] ?an ,b]es=d's4 ,/ill ,i _c argue t ! rev]se is true--t because a book does n g into its second edition x is necess>ily good4 ,i f9d t ! problem ( circulations is a difficult "o4 ,i _c1 = in/ance1 und]/& :y ,! ,"y ,visitors sold 9 ?\s&s2 ,i fail$ to raise a smile at x4 ,aga91 !re is my fri5d al?\gh publi%]1 ,h]b]t ,j5k9s4 ,i didn't ?9k ,b9dle funny1 yet x has be5 translat$ into umpte5 ,european languages4 ,j5k9s himself does n ?9k x funny1 & t1 possibly1 is :y he is my fri5d4 ,! mo/ surpris+ success to me 0 ,ian ,hay's ,! ,fir/ ,hundr$ ,?\s&4 ,i read ,pat ,mac,gill's ,r$ ,horizon ab\t ! same "t1 & ?\ght ,hay 0 /ilt$ & sup]ior ) a public-s*ool man's patronis+ ,pun*-l attitude to ! work+-class recruits4 ,i ?\ght t he didn't "k :at he 0 writ+ ab\t1 t he _h n rea*$ ! s\ls ( ! m54 ,mac,gill1 on ! o!r h&1 gave me ! impression ( a w>m1 passionate1 int5se k ( m52 he wrote z "o :o liv$ ) ord9>y m5 & knew !m ?r\gh & ?r\gh4 ,yet ,i fancy t ,! ,r$ ,horizon1 popul> z x 01 did n h ! sales ( ,! ,fir/ ,hundr$ ,?\s&4 ,i 0 lun*+ ) ,pr(essor ,john ,adams "o day 9 ,london4 ,we got on to ! subject ( circulations1 & he said t he _h j be5 ask+ ! bigge/ booksell] 9 ,london :at novel sold be/4 ,h a guess1 said ! ,pr(essor to me4 ,david ,copp]field1 ,i said promptly4 ,he laugh$4 ,n bad6 he said1 y've got ! au?or "r1 b ! book is ,a ,tale ( ,two ,cities4 ,he !n ask$ me to guess :at two au?ors sold be/ among ! troops at ! front dur+ ! w>4 ,*>les ,g>vice & ,nat ,g\ld1 ,i said1 & ! ,pr(essor ?\ght me a wond]ful fell[1 = ,i _h guess$ aright4 ,!re is a :isk]$ ,=d /ory :i* tells t ,mr4 ,=d took a new c> f 8 factory & invit$ a visitor to h a sp94 ,!y />t$ (f1 & w5t sev5 miles out4 ,!n ! c> /opp$4 ,=d jump$ out & lift$ ! bonnet4 ,good ,"l6 he cri$1 ! eng9e hasn't be5 put 96 ,! c> mu/ h run sev5 miles on its reputation6 ,i ?9k t books run _m miles on reputation alone4 ,l a sn[ball ! f>!r a circulation rolls ! m x ga!rs to itself4 ,b :at is x t makes a book popul>8 ,! be/ press notices 9 ! _w w n s5d ! circulation ( a book up to a hundr$ ?\s& level4 ,:at sells a book is talk4 ,scores ( p said to me3 ,oh1 h y read ,! ,"y ,visitors8 ,i ha/5 to add1 z a ,scot1 t ,i p]sonally did n help to increase ! circulation2 ,i borr[$ ! book f an en?usia/4 ,talk sells a book1 b we h to discov] :y p talk ab\t ,! ,"y ,visitors & n ab\t--er--,! ,boom+ ( ,bunkie4 ,! book t is to sell well mu/ be able to t\* a *ord 9 ! cr[d he>t1 & ,! ,"y ,visitors sold because x t\*$ ! infantile *ord 9 ! cr[d he>t2 x br\ght back ! happie/ days ( life1 ! s*ooldays3 aga91 its nave ,malapropisms appeal$ to ! cr[d1 because we are all glad to laugh at ! social & grammatical errors we h made & conv5i5tly =gott5 ab\t4 ,bunkie did n rea* ! hundr$ ?\s& level because x 0 too clev]2 x 0 a purely intellectual essay 9 wit r ?an hum\r4 ,& ! cr[d di/ru/s wit1 & t is :y ! witty plays ( ,osc> ,wilde are seldom produc$1 :ile ,*>ley's ,aunt goes on = ev]4 ,i am tempt$ to g on to a comp>ison ( wit ) hum\r1 b ,i %all only rem>k t wit is an intellectual ?+1 :]eas hum\r is emotional4 ,hum\r is elem5tal1 b wit is cultural4 ,)\t a language y c\ld h hum\r1 b )\t language !re c\ld be no wit4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i h j come across a small book entitl$ ,h9ts on ,s*ool ,discipl9e1 by ,erne/ ,f4 ,r[1 ,b4,sc4 ,boys w only respect a ma/] :om !y fe>1 he says4 ,i h be5 prea*+ ?is doctr9e = ye>s 4 4 4 t respect always has fe> beh9d x 4 4 4 & x pleases me to f9d t an expon5t ( ! old me?ods %\ld support my argum5t4 ,:5 ,i began to read ! book ,i 0 amaz$4 ,good ,"l6 ,i cri$1 ?is *ap %\ld h publi%$ 8 book 9 ! ye> #ahbj4 ,he advocates a sy/em t mod]n psy*ology has %[n to be fatal to ! *ild4 ,x is army discipl9e appli$ to s*ools4 ,i f\nd x h>d to f9i% ! book1 b ,i read e ^w ( x & !n ,i said to myself3 ,! majority is on ! side ( ,r[4 ,eton1 ,h>r[1 _m elem5t>y tea*]s w\ld agree ) him4 ,he is evid5tly an hone/ sort ( fell[1 & he mu/ be reckon$ )4 ,i mu/ try to see 8 po9t ( view4 ,& ,i ?9k ,i see x4 ,he accepts curr5t education ) its set subjects1 "t-tables1 ord]1 morality1 & he is try+ to adapt ! "y tea*] to :at is e/abli%$4 ,h5ce to ma9ta9 all ^! ?+s1 we mu/ h /]n discipl9e & swift puni%m5t4 ,b ,i wond] if ,r[ has ?\ght ( ! o!r side ( ! "q2 ,i wond] if he has ask$ himself :e!r ord] & "t-tables & ob$i5ce & respect are really necess>y4 ,i %\ld l to meet him & h a *at2 ,i ?9k ,i %\ld l him1 & fur!r1 ,i ?9k t ,i c\ld conv]t him to ! o!r way 4 4 4 if he is "u =ty4 ,ah6 ,horrid ?\ght6 ,is x possible t ,r[ is pull+ our legs8 ,no1 he writes z an hone/ man4 ,p]haps he kn[s all ab\t ! mod]n movem5t2 p]haps he has /udi$ ,montessori1 ,freud1 ,jung1 ,hom] ,lane1 ,edmond ,holmes1 & f\nd t !y are all pa!tically wrong4 ,mayhap he has prov$ t ! *ild is a s9n]4 ,! "y tea*] %\ld nev] address a boy by 8 ,*ri/ian "n or nickname1 he says4 ,oh1 surely he is pull+ our legs6 99 99 99 99 99 ,at int]vals dur+ ! pa/ few ye>s ,i h be5 puzzl$ :5 p congratulat$ me on my village s*ool 9 ,lanca%ire4 ,i _h q a numb] ( misund]/&+s on ! subject4 ,!n "o day ,i discov]$ t !re 0 a village s*oolma/] 9 ,lanca%ire call$ ,e4 ,f4 ,o',neill4 ,i wrote him tell+ him t ,i 0 com+ to see 8 s*ool1 & "o ,july morn+ ,i alight$ at "o ( ! uglie/ villages 9 ! _w1 & ,i walk$ pa/ slag-heaps & all ! horrors ( indu/rialism to a r$ build+ on ! outskirts4 ,?ree or f\r boys 7 digg+ 9 ! s*ool g>d54 ,i walk$ into ! s*ool1 & two seconds aft] ent]+ ,i said to myself3 ,e4 ,f4 ,o',neill1 y are a great man6 ,!re 7 no desks1 & ,i c\ld see no tea*]4 ,half-a-doz5 *ildr5 /ood r\nd a table weigh+ ?+s & cutt+ ?+s4 ,:at's ?is8 ,i ask$4 ,! %op1 said a girl1 & aft] a little "t ,i grasp$ ! idea4 ,y h pa/e-bo>d co9s1 & y come to ! %op & buy a p\nd ( butt] 7pla/ic5e71 two p\nds ( sug> 7s&71 & a bottle ( ,york%ire ,reli% 7a br[n mixture unrecognisable to me74 ,y pay y\r sov]eign & ! %op-keep] gives y ! *ange1 rem>ks on ! likelihood ( ! wea!r's keep+ up & turns to ! next cu/om]4 ,i walk$ on & f\nd a boy writ+4 ,hullo1 sonny1 :at are y on8 ,my novel1 he said1 & %[$ me ! beg9n+ ( *apt] ,,xii4 ,a "y man came =w>d1 a slim y\? ) tw9kl+ eyes4 ,e4 ,f4 ,o',neill8 ,a4 ,s4 ,neill8 ,we %ook h&s1 & !n he began to talk4 ,i want$ to tell him t 8 s*ool 0 a pure delight1 b ,i c\ldn't get a ^w 9 edgeways4 ,if any?+1 he 0 ov]-explanatory1 b ,i p>don$ him1 = ,i realis$ t ! poor man's life mu/ be sp5t 9 expla9+ himself to unbeliev]s4 ,i dislik$ 8 tacit class+ ( me ) ! infidel1 & ,i indignantly took ! side ( ! infidel & ask$ him que/ions4 ,!n he gave me ( 8 be/4 ,he is a great man4 ,i don't ?9k he has any !oretical k1 & ,i believe t anyone c\ld trip him up ov] ,freud or ,jung1 ,montessori or ,froebel1 ,dewey or ,hom] ,lane2 b ! man seems to "k x all by in/9ct or intuition4 ,to him creation is ev]y?+4 ,i 0 half afraid t he might h ! typical crank's belief 9 impos+ 8 ta/e on ! pupils1 & ,i m5tion$ my d\bt4 ,no1 he said1 we h a gramophone ) fox-trots1 ragtimes1 ,bee?ov5 & ,melba1 & ! *ildr5 ne>ly always *oose ! be/ records4 ,love ( beauty is a real ?+ 9 ?is s*ool4 ,! playgr\nd is full ( bonny corn]s ) fl[]s & bu%es4 ,! s*ool writ+ books are b\nd 9 arti/ic wallpap] by ! *ildr51 & h&-made frames enclose reproductions ( good pictures on ! walls4 ,i saw no corporate tea*+1 & ,i %\ld h ask$ ,o',neill if he _h any4 ,if he hasn't ,i ?9k he is wrong1 = ! o!r way--! le>n-by-do+ individual way--/>ves ! gr\p _s4 ,! class-tea*+ sy/em has _m faults1 & ,o',neill seems to h aboli%$ spoon-fe$+1 b ! class has "o m]it--x is a cr[d4 ,ea* *ild measures himself aga9/ ! o!rs1 n necess>ily 9 competition4 ,p]haps x is ! psy*ological effect ( hav+ an audi5ce t ,i am try+ to praise4 ,yes1 t is x3 ! individual-"w way is l a rehe>sal ( a play to empty seats2 ! class-way is l a p]=mance be=e a cr[d$ h\se4 ,x is a projection ( "o's ego outw>d4 ,?is me?od1 said ,o',neill1 may be out-(-date 9 a mon?4 ,i ?9k highly ( him = ^! words alone4 ,he has no fix$ beliefs ab\t me?ods ( /udy2 he himself le>ns by do+1 & to-morr[ w be *e]fully will+ to scrap ! me?od he is us+ to-day4 ,if ! ideal tea*] is ! man :o is always le>n+1 !n ,o',neill comes pretty ne> t ideal4 ,i wi% t e tea*] 9 ,brita9 c\ld see 8 s*ool4 ,! big problem = ! h]etical tea*] is ! problem ( ord]1 or r ( disord]4 ,:5 a *ild is free f au?ority1 he usually leaves 8 pa? untidy2 he leaves 8 *isels on ! b5* or ! gr\nd2 he /rews ! floor ) pap]s2 he ?r[s 8 books all ov] ! room4 ,n[ ,o',neill's s*ool 0 n untidy1 & ,i m>vell$4 ,oh1 ! kiddies look aft] t1 he expla9$4 ,!y h volunt>y work]s among !mselves :o d all t1 & if a *ild does n d 8 job1 ! o!rs naturally compla93 ',:y did y take x on if y ar5't go+ to d x prop]ly8' ,b someh[ ,i am n conv9c$2 ,i want to "k m ab\t ?is bus9ess4 ,to f9d s highly develop$ a social s5se 9 small *ildr5 runs dead aga9/ all my exp]i5ce4 ,i mu/ write to ,o',neill = fur!r in=mation4 99 99 99 99 99 ,on re-read+ ! pages ( ?is book ,i feel l ?r[+ x on ! fire4 ,i f9d myself disagree+ ) ! /atem5ts ,i made a few weeks ago4 ,:5 ,i began to write x ,i 0 a m or less complete ,freudian1 & 9 an airy fa%ion ,i expla9$ away my actions4 ,:y %\ld pale blue be my fav\rite col\r8 ,i ask$ myself ?is :5 ,i pa9t$ my cycle blue1 & ,i f\nd a ready answ] 9 a rem9isc5ce 4 4 4 my fir/ swee!>t wore a blue tam-o'-%ant]4 ,?is is call$ ! no?+ b psy*ology4 ,d ,i dream ( a tra98 ,q simple6 ,x is m]ely no?+ b a sexual symbol6 ,life is too complex = a no?+ b psy*ology4 ,la/ night a girl told me a sexual dream %e _h _h1 b :5 %e gave h] associations we f\nd t ! deep mean+ ( ! dream _h no?+ to d ) sex4 ,freud says t ab\t e dream is ! m>k ( ! bea/1 b !n ,i ?9k he believes 9 orig9al s94 ,i h be5 ?9k+ a lot rec5tly ab\t ! psy*ology ( flogg+4 ,x is g5]ally /at$ t ! flogg] is a sexual p]v]t1 a ,sadi/1 & und\bt$ly !re are pa?ological cases :]e m5 f9d sexual gratification 9 inflict+ or 9 wat*+ ! infliction ( pa94 ,9 ! pa?ological case ! gratification is consci\s1 b ,i believe t _m respectable p>5ts & tea*]s f9d an unconsci\s gratification4 ,x is absurd to say to a man l ,macdonald3 ,y\r puni%+ is 'no?+ b' ,sadism4 ,yet ,i ?9k t a little te/ might decide ! matt]4 ,if ! accus$ flogg] is %ock$ or indignant at ! idea ,i %\ld be incl9$ to ?9k t ! accusation 0 a j "o4 ,if ,i say to ,simpson3 ,excuse my m5tion+ x1 old man1 b ,i don't ?9k y love y\r wife1 he w laugh he>tily1 = he has be5 m>ri$ = a mon? only1 & is /ill v mu* 9 love4 ,8 laugh %[s t 8 love is real2 my rude rem>k t\*es no *ord 9 8 unconsci\s4 ,b suppose ,i make a simil> rem>k to ,smi?1 :o has be5 v mu* m>ri$ = t5 ye>s6 ,he w hit me 9 ! eye1 !reby betray+ ! fact t my rem>k t\*$ :at 8 unconsci\s kn[s to be true4 ,8 bl[ is physically direct$ to me1 b psy*ically he is hitt+ to def5d 8 consci\s f 8 unconsci\s4 ,h5ce if a flogg] is angry :5 ,i accuse him ( be+ a ,sadi/1 ,i guess t he is a ,sadi/4 ,i tri$ ! exp]im5t on ,macdonald4 ,he %ook 8 head sadly4 ,poor *ap1 he said feel+ly1 y're daft6 ,"r6 ,i said1 y ar5't a ,sadi/1 anyway1 ,mac4 ,y mu/ flog because x is y\r me?od ( self-ass]tion4 ,z ,i've told y _m times1 y /rap kids because wield+ a /rap is y\r *ildi% way ( %[+ y\r p[]4 ,!n ,mac became angry1 & :5 ,i h9t$ t my rem>ks mu/ h hit ! bull's-eye 4 4 4 he laugh$ aga94 ,he is a baffl+ /udy 9 psy*ology4 ,y don't "k mu* ab\t x1 old *ap1 he said g5ially4 ,h>dly any?+ at all1 ,i said ) true mode/y1 only ,i "k "o ?+ ab\t y1 & t is t ! fault always lies 9 y\rself4 ,:5 y flog ,tom ,murray1 y are really *a/is+ ! ,tom ,murray 9 y\rself 4 4 4 t is1 ! "p t y\r wife kn[s s well--! "p ( y t leaves ! new graip out 9 ! ra9 all night1 t rebels aga9/ ! au?ority ( ! ,s*ool ,bo>d & ! inspectorate4 ,tom is be+ crucifi$ = y\r transgressions4 ,b>rie1 wiz>d z he is1 fail$ to und]/& ! full significance ( ,%akespe>e's l9e3 ,! fault1 de> ,brutus1 lies n 9 our />s1 b 9 ourselves4 99 99 99 99 99 ,! opposite ( ! ,sadi/ is ! ,maso*i/--! p]son :o f9ds sexual gratification 9 be+ beat5 or bulli$4 ,:5 ',arriet pr\dly boa/s ab\t ! black eye t ',arry gave h] on ,saturday night1 %e is be+ maso*i/ic1 & ! woman :o likes to be bulli$ by ! /rong1 sil5t man is likewise a maso*i/4 ,i d n say no?+ b a maso*i/1 because %e is also a ,sadi/1 = ,sadism & ,maso*ism are complem5t>y 9 ! same p]son4 ,x is an und]/ood fact t _m p f9d joy 9 suff]+1 & ,i c recollect feel+ some?+ ak9 to joy :5 ! d5ti/1 be=e ! days ( ! local anae/hetic1 us$ to lay hold on my mol>s4 ,h5ce ,i look back to ! day :5 ,i :ack$ ,pet] ,smi? = cruelty to a calf1 & ,i ackn[l$ge t ,i 0 wrong4 ,i recall expla9+ to him t ,i want$ him to realise :at suff]+ meant1 b ,i 0 completely mi/ak54 ,if ,pet] 7 a ,sadi/ 9 8 cruelty1 my cruelty to him 0 giv+ unconsci\s gratification to ! ,maso*i/ic "p ( him4 ,if 8 cruelty to ! calf 0 due to 8 self-ass]tion aga9 ,i did ! wrong ?+1 = ! fe> evok$ by my /rap m]ely inhibit$ 8 desire to ass]t himself 9 cudgell+ calves4 ,i ?9k n[ t !re 0 no?+ to be done2 8 cruelty %[$ t 8 :ole education _h be5 wrong4 ,_h he be5 all[$ to create all ! way up f "o week old he w\ld h appli$ 8 int]e/ to mak+ rabbit-hut*es in/ead ( to beat+ calves4 ,i rememb] a que/ion] at "o ( my lectures4 ,i _h be5 try+ to elaborate ! release !ory1 & _h said t a boy %\ld be enc\rag$ to make a noise s t he w release all 8 int]e/ 9 noise z p[]4 ,if a boy lik$ tortur+ cats1 w\ld y enc\rage him on ! !ory t suppression by an adult w\ld cause ! *ild to reta9 8 int]e/ 9 tortur+ cats8 ,c]ta9ly n1 ,i said1 & ! lady cr[$4 ,i d dislike que/ion]s at any "t1 b :5 !y cr[ 4 4 4 46 ,h[ev]1 ,i tri$ to hide ! murd] 9 my he>t by smil+4 ,:at w\ld y d8 %e ask$ sweetly4 ,i don't "k1 madam1 ,i said1 b ,i c make a rapid guess 4 4 4 ,i v probably w\ld use ! toe ( my boot on him1 !reby %[+ t my own int]e/ 9 cruelty 0 /ill alive4 ,b five m9utes lat] ,i %\ld try to discov] :at 0 at ! back ( ! boy's m9d4 ,n long ago ,i /udi$ a small boy ^: *ief pleasure 0 9 pull+ bees' w+s (f4 ,i nev] m5tion$ bees to him1 b ,i got him to talk ab\t himself4 ,he 0 suff]+ f a deep hatr$ ( 8 tea*]1 & he _h a bad inf]iority complex4 ,he fe>$ to play games l football & hockey because ( 8 s5se ( inf]iority4 ,all t 0 wrong ) him 0 t he 0 regress+4 ,life 0 too difficult = him1 & he took refuge 9 8 infantile pa/2 8 pull+ (f w+s 0 ! de/ructiv5ess ( ! infant4 ,b ! important ?+ to rememb] is t de/ructiv5ess is simply con/ructiv5ess gone wrong4 ,! *ild is born good1 & all 8 in/9cts are to d good4 ,bad behavi\r is ! result ( ?w>t$ desire to d good4 ,?is is %[n 9 ! case ( ,tommy on page #aae4 99 99 99 99 99 ,at "o "t ,i 0 absolutely c]ta9 t ! ,great ,w> 0 caus$ by economic factors2 ,briti% & ,g]man capital 7 compet+1 & ! los+ p>ty took up ! sword4 ,i am n s c]ta9 n[4 ,x may be t ! cataclysm 0 a natural ebullition ( human nature1 & z a cause ! economic rivalry may h be5 j z insignificant z ! murd] ( ! ,ar*duke4 ,dur+ ! la/ few decades education has be5 almo/ :olly intellectual & mat]ial2 intellectual education gave u ! don1 & mat]ial education gave u ! cotton-sp9n]4 ,! emotional & ! spiritual 9 mank9d _h no outlet4 ,9 ! unconsci\s ( man !re is a ,god & a ,devil1 & intellectual activities af=d no means ( expression to ei!r4 ,& :5 any godlike or devili% libido c f9d no outlet x regresses to infantile primitive =ms2 ?us1 :ile ! bra9 ( man 0 conc]n$ ) ma!matics & logic1 ! he>t ( man 0 seek+ primitive ?+s--cruelty1 hate1 & blood4 ,x may be !n t ! w> 0 ! direct result ( ! _w's bad sy/em ( education4 ,no boy w de/roy prop]ty if he is free to create prop]ty1 & no nation w take to kill+ if x is free to be creative4 ,intellectual education all[s no fre$om = ! creative impulse2 x n only />ves ! creative impulse b x drives x into rebellion4 ,an outlet is always a door to purification4 ,! old m5 :o sat at home hat$ ! ,hun because _! libido 0 be+ bottl$ up1 b ! "y m5 :o 7 us+ up _! libido 9 fight+ talk$ *e]fully ( ,old ,fritz4 ,! *a9$ dog soon becomes savage1 & ! *a9$ libido rev]ts to savag]y also4 ,i h (t5 said t ! outrages ( ! ,g]man troops 9 ,belgium became und]/&able to me :5 ,i /udi$ a ,scots s*ool :]e suppressive discipl9e turn$ good boys into demons4 ,! brutality ( ! ,g]man army 0 a natural result ( ! brutality ( _! discipl9e4 ,s is x 9 ! individual s\l1 & 9 ! national s\l4 ,intellectualism & mat]ialism 7 ! ,prussian drill-s]geants :o enslav$ ! emotional life ( ! citiz5 & ( ! nation4 ,w> 0 a means ( releas+ ?is p5t-up emotion4 ,! ultimate cure = w> is ! releas+ ( ! bea/ 9 ! he>t ( mank9d 4 4 4 n ! releas+ aft] *a9+ him up1 b ! releas+ ( ! bea/ f ! beg9n+4 ,p]sonally ,i d n believe t he is a wild bea/ until we make him "o by *a9+ him2 he is primitive & animal & amoral1 b ,i believe t by k9d treatm5t we c make him our ally 9 liv+ a goodly life4 ,! ,devil is m]ely a *a9$ ,god4 ,! problem = man & = mank9d is to reconcile ! ,god & ! ,devil 9 himself4 ,! sa9t represses ! devil2 ! s9n] represses ! god4 ,! a!i/ cries3 ,!re is no ,god6 because he has repress$ ! ,god 9 himself4 ,!n1 aga91 _m p project _! p]sonal devil2 ! m5 :o %\t$ ,hang ! ,kais]6 7 subjectively cry+ ,hang ! ,devil 9 me6 ,:o & :at is ?is devil we c>ry 9 our he>ts8 ,we _c tame him unless we c "k him4 ,! ,freudians w\ld say t he is ! primitive unconsci\s1 ! tree-dwell] 9 u4 ,b t explanation is n en\gh = me4 ,! tig] has no devil 9 him1 & :y %\ld our remote savage ance/ors leave u a devil z legacy8 ,yet ! tig] is a devil :5ev] man =mulates a law aga9/ kill+2 ! man-eat] becomes bad because he is a dang] to man1 & because ! tig] is bad x is assum$ t man is good4 ,! ox t is slaught]$ = our d9n]s might well look ^u man z its special objective devil4 ,i h (t5 argu$ t x is ,au?ority t makes ! bea/ 9 *ildr5 a wild bea/4 ,t is true1 b x does n g d[n to fir/ causes4 ,:y d adults ex]cise au?ority8 ,to keep d[n ! devil 9 !mselves1 ! bea/ t _! p>5ts & tea*]s made wild by au?ority4 ,truly a vici\s circle6 ,b ! devil is ! cause ( au?ority 9 ! beg9n+4 ,s9ce !re is no devil 9 ! tig] & ! ox1 ! animalism ( man _c be 8 devil4 ,b man made 8 animalism a devil :5 he began to h ideals4 ,!n x 0 t he began to talk ( crucify+ ! fle%2 !n x 0 t ! _s 0 will+ b ! fle% 0 weak4 ,! devil 9 man is ! negative ( man's ego-ideal4 ,! e?ical self says t hone/y is good1 & di%one/y comes to be ( ! devil2 x says t love is good1 & hate !n becomes devili%4 ,no ego-ideal1 no devil4 ,! ox has no ego-ideal2 !re=e x has no devil4 ,man inv5t$ ! devil to acc\nt = 8 failures4 ,?is br+s me to ! "q3 :y %\ld man want to h an ego-ideal8 ,:y %\ld he praise self-sacrifice1 love1 *>ity1 hone/y1 unselfi%ness1 :ile he contemns hats1 murd]1 cruelty1 /eal+1 selfi%ness8 ,x might be argu$ t he praises ^? attributes t make = ! good ( ! h]d1 b ,i _c take ?is argum5t z f9al4 ,r am ,i incl9$ to look = ! answ] 9 :at we vaguely call ! div9e4 ,i ?9k t !re is a p[] 4 4 4 call x ,god or intuition or ! sup]consci\s or :at-n 4 4 4 t draws man t[>d high] ?+s4 ,?is sp>k ( ! div9e raises man above ! bea/ ( ! field1 b ye/]day he 0 ! bea/ ( ! field1 & l ! n\veau ri*e1 he scorns 8 humble orig9s4 ,i am =c$ to conclude t w>s w n cease until man realises t 8 ego-ideal mu/ be capable ( be+ ! work+ p>tn] ( 8 primitive animalism4 ,:5 t "t comes man w "k t he is nei!r god nor devil1 b 4 4 4 m]e man4 99 99 99 99 99 ,i am sp5d+ my days w&]+ r\nd ,london suburbs look+ = a s*ool4 ,( an ev5+ ,i sit & ?9k ab\t h[ ,i %all furni% x4 ,!re w be no desks2 in/ead !re w be tables = writ+ & draw+ on1 *airs ( all descriptions--arm-*airs1 deck-*airs1 /raight back$ *airs1 /ools4 ,! *ildr5 w make ! tables & /ools1 & we may make a comb9$ ef=t to make & uphol/] an arm-*air4 ,!n we mu/ h at lea/ "o typewrit]1 n = (fice use1 b = ! *ildr5's use4 ,! *ildr5 w use x to type _! novels & poems1 & ,i ?9k !y w\ld be tempt$ to type out poems f ,keats & ,col]idge1 b9d+ _! own an?ologies 9 lea!r or col\r$ pap]4 ,!re w be no s*ool read]s & no s*ool poetry books4 ,i hope t ) ! aid ( ! typewrit] ea* *ild w make 8 own selection ( prose & poetry4 ,! wall decorations w be left to ! *ildr51 & if !y br+ bad1 s5tim5tal pr9ts f ! ,*ri/mas numb]s ,i %all say no?+ :5 !y hang !m up4 ,b z an active memb] ( ! community1 ,i %all br+ reproductions ( ! "w ( ,rembr&t1 ,velasquez1 ,angelo1 ,augu/us ,john1 ,cezanne1 ,nev9son2 ,i %all buy ,col\r e mon?4 ,s ) music4 ,i %all s+ ,eliza ,jane ) !m if !y want to s+ ,eliza ,jane1 b ,i %all br+ to _! notice ,to ,music 7,s*umann71 ,blake's ,j]usalem1 & ! bonny old ,engli% songs l ,gold5 ,slumb]s1 ,n[ is ! ,mon? ( ,may+1 ,polly ,oliv]4 ,!n a gramophone is a necessity1 & all k9ds ( records w be necess>y--,bee?ov51 ,/rav9sky1 ,rimski-,korsik(f1 ,h>ry ,laud]1 ,fox ,trots1 ,s\sa4 ,o',neill told me t 8 ,lanca%ire kiddies h tir$ ( ragtime1 & are n[ play+ classical music only4 ,p]sonally1 ,i hav5't rea*$ t /&>d ( ta/e yet2 ,i /ill h ,fox ,trot moods4 ,i also want a play]-piano--an ,angelus1 if possible4 ,n[ = ! libr>y4 ,i %all leave ! *oice ( p]iodicals to ! community1 & ,i expect to f9d !m select a li/ ( ?is k9d3--,sc\t1 ,boy's ,own ,pap]1 ,girl's ,own ,pap]1 ,popul> ,me*anics1 ,my ,magaz9e1 ,pun*1 ,*ips1 ,comic ,cuts1 ,tit-,bits1 ,answ]s1 ,/r&1 ,sket*1 ,sph]e4 ,x w be int]e/+ to wat* ! c>e] ( ,*ips2 ,i w n be surpris$ if ! community tires ( ,*ips 9 a mon?4 ,our book libr>y w be /ock$ f ! *ildr5's homes1 ,i fancy4 ,ea* *ild w br+ 8 or h] fav\rite novel1 & gladly h& x r\nd4 ,i %all c]ta9ly h& on my own fiction libr>y3--,conan ,doyle1 ,wells1 ,jack ,london1 ,rid] ,hagg>d1 ,cutcliffe ,hyne1 ,guy ,boo?by1 ,b>rie1 ,o4 ,h5ry1 ,leacock1 ,jacobs1 ,leon>d ,m]rick1 ,seton ,m]riman1 ,/anley ,weyman1 & a ho/ ( o!rs4 ,no1 ?is won't d6 ,h[ c ,i furni% be=e my self-gov]n+ s*ool decides :at furniture x w h8 ,! *ildr5 may dem& desks & "t-tables1 b ,i d n ?9k x likely4 ,anyh[1 ,i am c\nt+ my *ick5s be=e !y are hat*$4 ,,xiv4 ,i f9i% ?is book 9 ! place :]e ,i began x1 9 ,=f>%ire1 b n 9 ,t>bonny ,village4 ,hu/l+ ,h]b]t ,j5k9s s5t me ! galley pro(s ?is morn+ ) an urg5t dem& t ,i %\ld return !m at once4 ,i d dislike publi%]s4 ,at fir/ ,i took !m at _! own valuation3 ,i believ$ :at !y said4 ,ma*9es wait+1 ,j5k9s w\ld wire4 ,s5d ,,ms4 at once4 ,& ,i1 simple ,i1 w\ld sit up late correct+ pro(s4 ,i "k bett] n[4 ,i "k t ,j5k9s always divides "t by #bj4 ,8 at once means t tw5ty days h5ce he w say to 8 ,secret>y3 ,t new book ( ,neill's 4 4 4 has x gone to ! pr9t] yet8 ,& 8 ,secret>y w 'phone d[n to ! (fice secret>y & say3 ,y've got to s5d ,neill's new book to ! pr9t]4 ,!n ?is lady w ord] ! (fice-boy to take ! ,,ms4 to ! pr9t] 4 4 4 & ,i bet ! little devil reads ,deadwood ,dick on ! ,boom]ang ,prairie z he crawls to ! pr9t]'s (fice ) my ma/]piece "u 8 arm4 ,h5ce1 und]/&+ ,j5k9s1 ,i toss$ ! pro(s into a corn] ?is morn+1 & w5t out to cont9ue ! game ( r+ quoits t ,nellie & ,i _h to give up z d>kness fell la/ night4 ,nellie is a ,dundee lassie ( ?irte5 & %e is sp5d+ h] holidays ) h] auntie "h4 ,nellie won1 & we sat d[n on ! bank & ,i began to ask h] ab\t h] s*ool-life4 ,i d9na l ! s*ool1 & ,i wi% ,i 0 left1 %e said4 ,tell me :y y dislike x1 ,nellie4 ,if ye speak ye get ! /rap4 ,:at6 ,i cri$1 are y nev] all[$ to speak8 ,only at playtime1 %e repli$4 ,& ye nev] get less ?an six scuds4 ,& x 0 only ! o!r day t a lady wrote me say+ t :5 ,i prea* aga9/ ,prussianism 9 s*ools ,i am m]ely resuscitat+ a dead bogey = ! purpose ( knock+ x d[n4 ,i get q a lot ( in=mation ( s*ools f *ildr54 ,i rememb] :5 ,i 0 9 ,lyme ,regis la/ ,ea/] ,i w5t out sket*+ "o day4 ,z ,i pass$ a village s*ool a tr\pe ( happy *ildr5 came out4 ,joy lit up _! faces4 ,! ideal s*ool6 ,i cri$1 & /opp$ to speak to !m4 ,tell me1 *ildr51 tell me :y y h laught] 9 y\r eyes1 ,i said1 tell me ( y\r happy s*ool4 ,! olde/ boy gr9n$4 ,ma/]'s gone (f = ! day to a fun]al1 he said4 ,i walk$ on deep 9 ?\ght4 ,nellie dislikes s*ool4 ,:at a trag$y4 ,%e is a de> sweet *ild ) k9d eyes & a bonny smile4 ,%e spoke frankly to me at fir/ b :5 ,i told h] t ,i 0 a tea*] %e look$ at me ) fe> & 7,i smil$ at ?is7 dropp$ h] ,dundee dialect & answ]$ me 9 ,s*ool ,engli%4 ,i _h to ?r[ planta9 heads at h] = a full five m9utes be=e ! look ( fe> left h] eyes & h] dialect return$4 ,i d9na believe ye are a tea*]1 %e said to-night4 ,:y n8 ,ye're no l ane1 %e said hesitat+ly4 ,ye're ow]--ow] daft4 ,b :y %\ldn't a tea*] be daft8 ,i ask$4 ,!y %ud be respectable1 %e said1 or ! *ildr5 w9na respect !m4 ,i look$ al>m$4 ,:at6 ,i cri$1 don't y respect me8 ,%e laugh$ gaily4 ,no6 %e cri$1 !n %e add$ s]i\sly3 ,b ,i'd l to be at y\r s*ule4 ,%e returns to ,dundee to-morr[1 to a class ( fifty1 :]e sil5ce reigns4 ,poor ,nellie6 ,:at worries me is t :5 ,nellie's tea*] reads ?is book %e w mo/ probably agree ) ,nellie's rem>k t ,i'm daft4 ,b %e won't mean :at ,nellie meant4 ,a telegraph girl approa*$4 ,ma*9es are wait+4--,j5k9s4 ,nellie look$ anxi\s4 ,t's twa telegrams ye've got ! day1 %e said4 ,is onybody deid8 ,i look$ at ! words on ! telegraph =m4 ,no1 ,nellie1 un=tunately no6 ,i said sl[ly1 & ,i w5t 9 to read my galley pro(s4 ,,! ,,end4