,a ,,dominie ,,in ,,doubt   ,,by  ,a4   
,s4 ,,neill1 ,m4,a4     ,,by ,,the      
,,same ,,author    ,a ,,dominie',s ,,log
   ,a ,,dominie ,,dismissed   ,,the     
,,booming ,,of ,,bunkie    ,,herbert    
,,jenkins ,,limited  #c ,,york ,,street 
,,st4 ,,james',s  ,,london ,s4,w4#a     
,,mcmxxi     ,,dedication4  ,to ,homer  
,lane1 whose first lecture convinced me 
that ,i knew nothing about education4   
,i owe much to him1 but ,i hasten to    
warn educationists that they must not   
hold him responsible for the views given
 in these pages4  ,i never understood   
him fully enough to expound his         
wonderful educational theories4  ,a4 ,s4
 ,n4  ,,forfar1   ,,august #ab1 #aibj4  
,a ,,dominie ,,in ,,doubt   ,i4  ,just  
give me your candid opinion of ,a       
,dominie's ,log2 ,i'd like to hear it4  
,macdonald looked up from digging into  
the bowl of his pipe with a dilapidated 
penknife4  ,he is now head-master of    
,tarbonny ,public ,school1 a school ,i  
know well1 for ,i taught in it for two  

years as an ex-pupil teacher4  ,six days
 ago he wrote asking me to come and     
spend a holiday with him1 so ,i hastily 
packed my bag and made for ,euston4     
,this evening had been a sort of        
complimentary dinner in my honour1 the  
guests being neighbouring dominies and  
their wives1 none of whom ,i knew4  ,we 
had talked of the war1 of rising prices1
 and a thousand other things4  ,suddenly
 someone mentioned education1 and of    
course my unfortunate ,log had come     
under discussion4  ,i had been anxious  
to continue my discussion with a ,mrs4  
,brown on the subject of the relative   
laying values of ,minorcas and ,buff    
,orpingtons1 but ,i had been dragged to 
the miserable business in spite of      
myself4  ,now they were all gone1 and   
,macdonald had returned to the charge4  
,it's hardly a fair question1 said ,mrs4
 ,macdonald1 to ask an author what he   
thinks of his own book4  ,no man can    
judge his own work1 any more than a     
mother can judge her own child4  ,that's

 true6 ,i said4  ,a man can't judge his 
own behaviour1 and writing a book is an 
element of behaviour4  ,besides1 there  
is a better reason why a writer cannot  
judge his own work1 ,i added4  ,because 
he never reads it8 queried ,macdonald   
with a grin4  ,i shook my head4  ,an    
author has no further interest in his   
book after it is published4  ,macdonald 
looked across at me4  ,it was clear that
 he doubted my seriousness4  ,surely you
 don't mean to say that you have no     
interest in ,a ,dominie's ,log8  ,none  
whatever6 ,i said4  ,you mean it8       
persisted ,macdonald4  ,my dear ,mac1 ,i
 said1 an author dare not read his own  
book4  ,dare not6  ,why8  ,because it's 
out of date five minutes after it's     
written4  ,for fully a minute we smoked 
in silence4  ,macdonald appeared to be  
digesting my remark4  ,you see1 ,i      
continued presently1 when ,i read a book
 on education1 ,i want to learn1 and ,i 
certainly don't expect to learn anything
 from the man ,i was five years ago4  ,i

 think ,i understand1 said ,macdonald4  
,you have come to realise that what you 
wrote five years ago was wrong4  ,that  
it8  ,true for you1 ,mac4  ,you've just 
hit it4  ,you needn't have waited five  
years to find that out1 he said1 with a 
good-natured grin4  ,i could have told  
you the day the book was published--,i  
bought one of the first copies4  ,still1
 he continued1 ,i don't see why a book  
should be out-of-date in five years4    
,that is if it deals with the truth4    
,truth is eternal4  ,what is truth8 ,i  
asked wearily4  ,we all thought we knew 
the truth about gravitation4  ,then     
,einstein came along with his relativity
 theory1 and told us we were wrong4     
,did he8 inquired ,macdonald1 with a    
faint smile4  ,i am quoting from the    
newspapers1 ,i added hastily4  ,i       
haven't the remotest idea what          
relativity means4  ,perhaps it's        
,epstein ,i mean--no1 he's a sculptor4  
,you're hedging6 said ,macdonald4  ,can 
you blame me8 ,i asked4  ,you're trying 

to get me to say what truth is4  ,i am  
not a professor of philosophy1 ,i'm a   
dominie4  ,all ,i can say is that the   
,log was the truth 4 4 4 for me 4 4 4   
five years ago2 but it isn't the truth  
for me now4  ,then1 what exactly is your
 honest opinion of the ,log as a work on
 education8  ,as a work on education1 ,i
 said deliberately1 the ,log isn't worth
 a damn4  ,not a bad criticism1 either1 
said ,macdonald dryly4  ,i say that1 ,i 
continued1 because when ,i wrote it ,i  
knew nothing about the most important   
factor in education--the psychology of  
children4  ,but1 said ,mrs4 ,macdonald  
in surprise--hitherto she had been an   
interested listener--,i thought that the
 bits about the bairns were the best    
part of the book4  ,possibly1 ,i        
answered1 but ,i was looking at children
 from a grown-up point of view4  ,i     
thought of them as they affected me1    
instead of as they affected themselves4 
,i'll give you an instance4  ,i think ,i
 said something about wanting to chuck  

woodwork and cookery out of the school  
curriculum4  ,i was wrong1 hopelessly   
wrong4  ,i'm glad to hear you admit it1 
said ,macdonald4  ,i have always thought
 that every boy ought to be taught to   
mend a hen-house and every girl to cook 
a dinner4  ,then ,i was right after all1
 ,i said quickly4  ,macdonald stared at 
me1 whilst his wife looked up           
interrogatively from her embroidery4    
,if your aim is to make boys joiners and
 girls cooks1 ,i explained1 then ,i     
still hold that cookery and woodwork    
ought to be chucked out of the schools4 
,but1 man1 what are schools for8  ,i saw
 a combative light in ,macdonald's eye4 
,creation1 self-expression 4 4 4 4 the  
only thing that matters in education4   
,i don't care what a child is doing in  
the way of creation1 whether he is      
making tables1 or porridge1 or sketches1
 or--or--  ,snowballs6 prompted         
,macdonald4  ,or snowballs1 ,i said4    
,there is more true education in making 
a snowball than in listening to an      

hour's lecture on grammar4  ,mrs4       
,macdonald dropped her embroidery into  
her lap1 with a little gasp at the      
heresy of my remark4  ,you're talking   
pure balderdash6 said ,macdonald1       
leaning forward to knock the ashes from 
his pipe on the bars of the grate4      
,very well1 ,i said cheerfully4  ,let's 
discuss it4  ,you make a class sit in   
front of you for an hour1 and you       
threaten to whack the first child that  
doesn't pay attention to your lesson on 
nouns and pronouns4  ,discipline1 said  
,macdonald4  ,i don't care what you call
 it4  ,i say it's stupidity4  ,but1 hang
 it all1 man1 you can't teach if you    
haven't got the children's attention4   
,and you can't teach when you have got  
it1 ,i said4  ,a child learns only when 
it is interested4  ,but surely1         
discipline makes them interested1 said  
,mrs4 ,macdonald4  ,i shook my head4    
,it only makes them attentive4  ,same   
thing1 said ,macdonald4  ,no1 ,mac1 ,i  
replied4  ,it is not the same thing4    

,attention means the applying of the    
conscious mind to a thing2 interest     
means the application of both the       
conscious and the unconscious mind4     
,when you force a child to attend to a  
lesson for fear of the tawse1 you merely
 engage the least important part of his 
mind--the conscious4  ,while he stares  
at the blackboard his unconscious is    
concerned with other things4  ,what sort
 of things8 asked ,macdonald4  ,very    
probably his unconscious is working out 
an elaborate plan to murder you1 ,i     
said1 and ,i don't blame it either1 ,i  
added4  ,and the snowballs8 queried     
,mrs4 ,macdonald4  ,when a boy makes a  
snowball1 he is interested2 his whole   
soul is in the job1 that is1 his        
unconscious and his conscious are       
working together4  ,for the moment he is
 an artist1 a creator4  ,so that's the  
new education 4 4 4 making snowballs8   
said ,macdonald4  ,it isn't really1 ,i  
said2 but what ,i want to do is to point
 out that making snowballs is nearer to 

true education than the spoon-feeding we
 call education to-day4        99       
99      99      99      99  ,duncan does
 not like me4  ,he is a young dominie of
 twenty-three or thereabouts1 a friend  
of ,macdonald1 and he has just been     
demobilised4 ,he was a major1 and he    
does not seem to have recovered from the
 experience4  ,he has got what the      
vulgar call swelled head4  ,last night  
he was dilating upon the delinquencies  
of the old retired teacher who ran the  
school while ,duncan was on active      
service4  ,it seems that the old man had
 allowed the school to run to seed4     
,would you believe it1 ,i overheard     
,duncan say to ,macdonald1 when ,i came 
back ,i found that the boys and girls   
were playing in the same playground4    
,why1 man1 some of them were playing on 
the road6  ,and the discipline6  ,awful6
  ,poor children6  ,i see it all2 ,i see
 ,duncan line them up like a squad of   
recruits1 and march them into school    
with never a smile on their faces or a  

word on their lips4  ,macdonald tells me
 that he makes them lift their slates by
 numbers4  ,and the amusing thing is    
that ,duncan thinks himself one of the  
more advanced teachers4  ,he reads the  
educational journals1 and eagerly       
devours the articles about new methods  
in teaching arithmetic and geography4   
,his school is only a mile and a half   
away1 and ,i hope that he will come over
 to see ,mac a few times while ,i am    
here4  ,i have seen the old type of     
dominie1 and ,i have seen the new type4 
,i prefer the former4  ,he had many     
faults1 but he usually managed to do    
something for the human side of the     
children4  ,the new type is a danger to 
children4  ,the old dominie leathered   
the children so that they might make a  
good show before the inspector2 the new 
dominie leathers them because he thinks 
that children ought to be disciplined so
 that they may be able to fight the     
battle of life4  ,he does not see that  
by using authority he is doing the very 

opposite of what he intends2 he is      
making the child dependent on him1 and  
for ever afterwards the child will lack 
initiative1 lack self-confidence1 lack  
originality4  ,what the new dominie does
 do is to turn out excellent            
wage-slaves4  ,the discipline of the    
school gives each child an inner sense  
of inferiority 4 4 4 4 what the         
psycho-analysts call an inferiority     
complex4  ,and the working-classes are  
suffering from a gigantic inferiority   
complex 4 4 4 4 otherwise they would not
 be content to remain wage-slaves4  ,the
 fear that ,duncan inspires in a boy    
will remain in that boy all his life4   
,when he enters the workshop he will    
unconsciously identify the foreman with 
,duncan1 and fear him and hate him4  ,i 
believe that many a strike is really a  
vague insurrection against the teacher4 
,for it is well known that the          
unconscious mind is infantile4        99
      99      99      99      99        
,to-night ,i dropped in to see my old   

friend ,dauvit ,todd the cobbler4 ,many 
an evening have ,i spent in his dirty   
shop4  ,dauvit works on after teatime1  
and the village worthies gather round   
his fire and smoke and spit and grunt4  
,i have sat there for an hour many a    
night1 and not a single word was said4  
,peter ,smith the blacksmith would give 
a great sigh and say3 ,imphm6  ,there   
would be silence for ten minutes1 and   
then ,jake ,tosh the roadman would stare
 at the fire1 shake his head1 and say3  
,aye1 man6  ,then a ploughman would     
smack his lips and say3 ,man1 aye6  ,a  
southerner looking in might have jumped 
to the conclusion that the assembly was 
collectively and individually bored1 but
 boredom never enters ,dauvit's shop4   
,we ,scots think better in crowds4      
,to-night the old gang was there4  ,the 
hypothetical southerner again would have
 marvelled at the reception ,i received4
  ,i walked into the shop after an      
absence of five years4  ,weel1 ,dauvit1 
,i said1 and sat down in the basket     

chair4  ,dauvit and ,i have never shaken
 hands in our lives4  ,he looked up4    
,back again6 he said1 without any       
evident surprise2 then he added3 ,and   
what like a nicht is 't ootside8        
,gradually other men dropped in1 and the
 same sort of greeting took place4  ,the
 weather continued to be discussed for a
 time4  ,then the blacksmith said3 ,auld
 ,tarn ,davidson's swine dee'd last     
nicht4  ,dauvit looked up from the boot 
he was repairing4  ,what did it dee o'8 
and there followed an argument about the
 symptoms of swine fever4  ,an ,english 
reader of ,the ,house with the ,green   
,shutters would have concluded that     
these villagers were deliberately trying
 to put me in my place4  ,by ignoring me
 might they not be showing their        
contempt for dominies who have just come
 from ,london8  ,not they4  ,they were  
glad to see me again1 and their method  
of showing their gladness was to take up
 our friendship at the point where it   
left off five years ago4  ,the only time

 a ,scot distrusts other ,scots is when 
they fuss over him4 ,the story goes in  
,tarbonny that when young ,jim ,lunan   
came home unexpectedly after a ten      
years' farming in ,canada1 his mother   
was washing the kitchen floor4  ,mother6
 he cried1 ,i've come hame6  ,she looked
 over her shoulder4  ,wipe yer feet     
afore ye come in1 ye clorty laddie1 she 
said4  ,but there is a garrulous type of
 ,scot 4 4 4 or rather the type of ,scot
 that tries to make the other fellow    
garrulous4  ,in our county we call them 
the speerin' bodie4  ,to speer means to 
ask questions4  ,the speerin' bodie is  
common enough in ,fife1 and ,i suppose  
it was a ,fifer who entered a railway   
compartment one morning and sat down to 
study the only other occupant--an       
,englishman4  ,it's a fine day1 said the
 ,scot1 and there was a question in his 
tone4  ,the ,englishman sighed and laid 
aside his newspaper4  ,aye1 mester1     
continued the inquisitive ,fifer1 and   
ye'll be----  ,the ,englishman held up a

 forbidding hand4  ,you needn't go on1  
he said2 ,i'll tell you everything about
 myself4 ,i was born in ,leeds1 the son 
of poor parents4  ,i left school at the 
age of twelve1 and ,i became a draper4  
,i gradually worked my way up1 and now  
,i am traveller for a ,manchester firm4 
,i married six years ago4 ,three kids4  
,wife has rheumatism4  ,willie had      
measles last month4  ,i have a seven    
room cottage2 rent #bg4  ,i vote ,tory2 
go to the ,baptist church1 and keep     
hens4  ,anything else you want to know8 
,the ,scot had a very dissatisfied look4
  ,what did yer grandfaither dee o'8 he 
demanded gruffly4  ,when the argument   
about swine fever had died down1 ,dauvit
 turned to me4  ,aye1 and how is ,lunnon
 lookin'8  ,same as ever1 ,i answered4  
,ye'll have to tak' ,dauvit doon on a   
trip1 laughed the smith4  ,dauvit drove 
in a tacket4  ,man1 smith1 ,i was in    
,lunnon afore you was born1 he said4    
,go on1 ,dauvit1 ,i said encouragingly1 
tell us the story4  ,i had heard it     

before1 but ,i longed to hear it again4 
,dauvit brightened up4  ,there's no     
muckle to tell1 he said1 as he tossed   
the boot into a corner and wiped his    
face with his apron4  ,it'll be ten     
years come ,martimas4  ,me and ,will    
,tamson gaed up by boat frae ,dundee4   
,oh6 we had a graund time4  ,but there's
 no muckle to tell4  ,what about ,dave  
,brownlee8 ,i asked4  ,dauvit chuckled  
softly4  ,but ye've a' heard the story1 
he said1 but we protested that we       
hadn't4  ,aweel1 he began1 some of you  
will no doubt mind o' ,dave ,broonlee   
him that stoppit at ,millend4  ,dave    
served his time as a draper1 and syne he
 got a good job in a ,lunnon shop4      
,weel1 me and ,will ,tamson was walkin' 
along the ,strand when ,will he says to 
me1 says he3 ',cud we no pay a veesit to
 ,dave ,broonlee8'  ,then ,i minded that
 ,dave's father had said something aboot
 payin' him a call1 but ,i didna ken his
 address4  ,all ,i kent was that he was 
in a big shop in ,oxford ,street4       

,weel1 ,will and me we goes up to a     
bobby and speers the way to ,oxford     
,street4  ,when we got there ,will he   
goes up to another bobby and says3      
',please cud ye tell me whatna shop     
,dave ,broonlee works intil8'  ,at that 
,i started to laugh1 and syne the bobby 
he started to laugh4  ,he laughed a lang
 time and syne when ,i telt him that it 
was a draper's shop he directed us to a 
great big muckle shop wi' a thousand    
windows4  ',try there first1' says the  
bobby4  ,weel1 in we goes1 and a mannie 
in a tail coat he comes forart rubbin'  
his hands4  ',and what can ,i do for    
you1 sir8' he says to ,will4  ',oh1'    
says ,will1 'we want to see ,dave       
,broonlee1' but the man didna ken what  
,will was sayin'4  ,it took ,will and me
 twenty meenutes to get him to          
onderstand4  ',oh1' says he1 ',i        
understand now4  ,you want to see ,mr4  
,brownlee8'  ',ye're fell quick in the  
uptak1' says ,will1 but of coorse the   
man didna ken what he was sayin'4  ,he  

went to the backshop to speer aboot     
,dave1 and when he cam back he says1    
says he3 ',i'm sorry1 but ,mr4 ,brownlee
 has gone out to lunch4 ,will you leave 
a message8'  ,will turned to the door4  
',never mind1' says he1 'we'll see him  
doon the toon4'        99      99       
99      99      99  ,in reading my ,log 
,i am appalled by the amount of         
lecturing ,i did in school4  ,since     
writing it ,i have visited most of the  
best schools in ,england1 and ,i found  
that ,i was not the only teacher who    
lectured4  ,but we are all wrong4  ,i   
fancy that the real reason why ,i       
lectured so much was to indulge my      
showing-off propensities4  ,to stand    
before a class or an audience2 to be the
 cynosure of all eyes2 to have a crowd  
hanging on your words 4 4 4 4 all       
showing off6  ,very1 very human1 but 4 4
 4 4 bad for the audience4  ,when a     
teacher lectures he is unconsciously    
giving expression to his desire to gain 
a feeling of superiority4  ,that1 ,i    

fancy1 is the deepest wish of every one 
of us 4 4 4 4 to impress others1 to be  
superior4  ,you see it in the smallest  
child4  ,give him an audience1 and he   
will show off for hours4  ,the boy at   
the top of the class gains his feeling  
of superiority by beating the others at 
arithmetic1 while the dunce at the      
bottom of the class gains his in more   
original ways 4 4 4 punching the top boy
 at playtime1 scoring goals at football1
 spitting farther than anyone else in   
school4  ,i have seen a boy smash a     
window merely to draw attention to      
himself1 and thus to gain a momentary   
feeling of superiority4  ,and we        
grown-ups are boys at heart4  ,the boy  
is the father to the man4 ,take1 for    
instance1 a childish                    
trait--exhibitionism4  ,most children at
 an early age love to run about naked1  
to show off their bodies4  ,later the   
conventions of society make the child   
repress this wish to exhibit himself4   
,but we know that a repressed wish does 

not die2 it merely buries itself in the 
unconscious4  ,many years later the     
exhibition impulse comes out in         
sublimated form as a desire to show off 
before the public 4 4 4 hence our       
politicians1 actors1 actresses1         
street-corner revivalists1              
and--er--dominies4  ,now ,i hasten to   
add that there is nothing to be ashamed 
of in being a politician or a dominie4  
,but if ,i lecture a class ,i am making 
the affair my show1 and ,i am not the   
most important actor in the play2 ,i am 
the scene-shifter2 the real actors who  
should be declaiming their lines are    
sitting on hard benches staring at me   
and wondering what ,i am raving about4  
,each little person is thirsting to show
 his or her superiority1 and he never   
gets the chance4  ,occasionally ,i may  
ask a sleepy-looking urchin what are the
 exports to ,canada1 and he may gain a  
slight feeling of superiority if he can 
tell the right answer4  ,yet ,i fancy   
that his unconscious self despises me   

and my question4  ,why in all the earth 
should ,i ask a question when ,i know   
the answer8  ,the whole thing is an     
absurdity4  ,the only questions asked in
 a school should be asked by the pupils4
  ,the truth is that our schools do not 
give education2 they give instruction4  
,and it is so very easy to instruct1 and
 so very easy to go on talking1 and so  
very easy to whack ,tommy when he does  
not listen4 ,our prosy lectures are     
wasted time4  ,the children would be    
better employed playing marbles4  ,of   
course if a child asks for information  
that is a different story4 ,he is       
obviously interested 4 4 4 that is if he
 isn't trying to tempt you into a long  
explanation so that you will forget to  
hear his ,latin verbs4  ,children soon  
understand our little vanities1 and they
 soon learn to exploit them4        99  
99      99      99      99  ,i had a    
scene in school to-day1 remarked ,mac   
while we were at tea to-night4  ,what   
happened8 ,i asked4  ,tom ,murray was   

wrong in all his sums1 and he wouldn't  
hold out his hand1 and by ,mac's grim   
smile ,i knew that the bold ,tom had    
been conquered4  ,what would you have   
done in a case like that8 asked ,mac4   
,i would never have a case like that1   
,mac4  ,if he had all his sums wrong ,i 
should sit down and ask myself what was 
wrong with my teaching4  ,i didn't mean 
that1 he said2 what ,i meant was3 what  
would you do if ,tom defied you8  ,that 
wouldn't happen either1 ,mac4  ,tom     
couldn't defy me because you can only   
defy an authority1 and ,i'm not an      
authority4  ,mac shook his head4  ,you  
won't convince me1 old chap4  ,a boy    
like ,tom has to be dealt with with a   
firm hand4  ,i studied his face for a   
time4  ,you know1 ,mac1 ,i said1 you    
puzzle me4  ,you're one of the kindest  
decentest chaps in the world1 and yet   
you go leathering poor ,tom ,murray4    
,why do you do it8  ,you must keep      
discipline1 he said4  ,i shook my head4 
,mac1 if you knew yourself you wouldn't 

ever whack a child4  ,this seemed to    
tickle him4  ,good ,lord6 he laughed1 ,i
 could write a book about myself6  ,i'm 
one of the most introspective chaps ever
 born4  ,and you understand yourself8   
,i have no illusions about myself at    
all1 old chap4  ,i know my limitations4 
,well1 would you mind telling me why you
 are a bit of a nut8 ,i asked4 ,it isn't
 usual for a country dominie to wear a  
wing collar1 a bow tie1 and shot-silk   
socks4  ,that's easy1 he said quickly4  
,i think that teachers haven't the      
social standing they ought to have1 and 
,i dress well to uphold the dignity of  
the profession4  ,don't you believe me8 
he demanded as ,i smiled4  ,quite6  ,i  
believe you're quite honest in your     
belief1 but it's wrong you know4  ,there
 must be a much more personal reason    
than that4  ,rot6 he said4  ,anyway1    
what is the reason8  ,i don't know1     
,mac2 it would take months of research  
to discover it4  ,i can't explain your  
psychology1 but ,i'll tell you something

 about my own4  ,these swagger corduroys
 ,i'm wearing 4 4 4 when ,i bought them 
someone asked me why ,i chose corduroy1 
and ,i at once answered3 ',economy6     
,they'll last ten years6'  ,but that    
wasn't the real reason1 ,i bought them  
because ,i wanted to have folk stare at 
me4  ,i've got an inferiority complex1  
that is an inner feeling of inferiority4
  ,to compensate for it ,i go and order 
a suit that will make people look at me2
 in short1 that ,i may be the centre of 
all eyes1 and thus gain a feeling of    
outward superiority4  ,this sent ,mac   
off into a roar of laughter4  ,you're   
daft1 man6 he roared4  ,after a minute  
or two he said2 ,but what has all this  
to do with ,tom ,murray8  ,a lot1 ,i    
said seriously4  ,you think you whack   
,tom because you must have discipline1  
but you whack him for a different       
reason4  ,in your deep unconscious mind 
you are an infant4  ,you want to show   
your self-assertion just as a kid does4 
,you leather ,tom because you've never  

outgrown your seven-year-old stage4  ,on
 market-day1 when ,tom walks behind a   
drove and whacks the stots over the hips
 with a stick1 he is doing exactly what 
you did this afternoon4  ,you are both  
infants4  ,i have had to give up        
lecturing ,mac1 for he always takes me  
as a huge joke4  ,he is a good fellow1  
but he has the wonderful gift of being  
blind to anything that might make him   
reconsider his values4  ,many people    
protect themselves in the same way--by  
laughing4  ,i have more than once seen  
an alcoholic laugh heartily at his      
wrecked home and lost job4     ,,ii4    
,what an amount of excellent material   
,mac and his kind are spoiling4 ,tom    
,murray is a fine lad1 full of energy   
and initiative1 but he has to sit       
passive at a desk doing work that does  
not interest him4  ,his creative        
faculties have no outlet at all during  
the day1 and naturally when free from   
authority at nights he expresses his    
creative interest anti-socially4  ,he   

nearly wrecked the five-twenty the other
 night2 he tied a huge iron bolt to the 
rails4  ,mac called it devilment1 but it
 was merely curiosity4  ,he had had     
innumerable pins and farthings flattened
 on the line1 and he wanted to see what 
the engine really could do4  ,there is  
devilment in some of ,tom's activities1 
for example in his deliberate           
destruction of ,dauvit's apple tree4    
,mac and the law would give him the     
birch for that1 but fortunately ,mac and
 the law don't know who did it4  ,tom's 
destructiveness is only the direct      
result of ,mac's authority4             
,suppression always has the same result2
 it turns a young god into a young      
devil4  ,had ,i ,tom in a free school   
all his activities would be social and  
good4  ,and yet nearly every teacher    
believes in ,mac's way4  ,they suppress 
all the time1 and what is worst of all  
they firmly believe they are doing the  
best thing4  ,look at ,glasgow6 cried   
,mac the other night when ,i was talking

 about the crime of authority4  ,look at
 ,glasgow6  ,what happened there during 
the war8  ,juvenile crime increased4    
,and why8  ,because the fathers were in 
the army and the boys had no control    
over them2 they broke loose4 ,that      
proves that your theories are potty4  ,i
 believe that juvenile crime did        
increase during the war1 and ,i believe 
that ,mac's explanation of the          
phenomenon is correct4  ,the absence of 
the father gave the boy liberty to be a 
hooligan4  ,but no boy wants to be a    
hooligan unless he has a strong         
rebellion against authority4  ,no boy is
 destructive if he is free to be        
constructive4  ,i think that the        
difference between ,mac and myself is   
this3 he believes in original sin1 while
 ,i believe in original virtue4  ,i     
wonder why it is so difficult to convert
 the authority people to the new way of 
thinking4  ,there must be a deep reason 
why they want to cling to their         
authority4  ,authority gives much power1

 and love of power may be at the root of
 the desire to retain authority4  ,yet  
,i fancy that it is deeper than that4   
,in ,mac1 for instance1 ,i think that   
his quickness in becoming angry at      
,tom's insubordination is due to the    
insubordination within himself4  ,like  
most of us ,mac has a father complex1   
and he fears and hates any authority    
exercised over himself4 ,so in squashing
 ,tom's rebellion he is unconsciously   
squashing the rebellion in his own soul4
  ,tom's rebellion could not affect me  
because ,i have got rid of my father    
complex1 and his rebellion would touch  
nothing in me4  ,authority will be long 
in dying1 for too many people cling to  
it as a prop4  ,most people like to have
 their minds made up for them2 it is so 
easy to obey orders1 and so difficult to
 live your own life carrying your own   
burden and finding your own path4  ,to  
live your own life 4 4 4 that is the    
ideal4  ,to discover yourself bravely1  
to realise yourself fully1 to follow    

truth even if the crowd stone you4      
,that is living 4 4 4 but it is         
dangerous living1 for that way lies     
crucifixion4 ,no one in authority has   
ever been crucified2 every martyr dies  
because he challenges authority4 4 4    
,christ1 ,thomas ,more1 ,jim ,connolly4 
99      99      99      99      99      
,duncan and ,mc,taggart the minister    
were in to-night1 and we got on to the  
subject of wit and humour4  ,having a   
psycho-analysis complex ,i mentioned the
 theory that we laugh so as to give     
release to our repressions4  ,the others
 shook their heads1 and ,i decided to   
test my theory on them4  ,i told them   
the story of the golfer who was driving 
off about a foot in front of the teeing 
marks4  ,the club secretary happened to 
come along4  ,here1 my man6 cried the   
indignant secretary1 you're             
disqualified6  ,what for8 demanded the  
player4  ,you're driving off in front of
 the teeing mark4  ,the player looked at
 him pityingly4  ,away1 you bletherin'  

idiot6 he said tensely1 ,i'm playing my 
third6  ,now1 ,i said to the others1    
,i'm going to tell you one by one what  
your golf is like4  ,you1 ,mc,taggart1  
are a scratch man or a plus man4 ,is    
that so8  ,plus one1 he said in         
surprise4  ,how did you guess8  ,i      
didn't guess1 ,i said with great        
superiority4  ,i found out by pure      
science4  ,you didn't laugh at my joke2 
you merely smiled4  ,that shows that bad
 golf doesn't touch any complex inside  
you4  ,the man who takes three strokes  
to make one foot of ground means nothing
 to you because1 as ,i say1 there's     
nothing in yourself it touches4         
,wonderful6 cried the minister4  ,it's  
quite simple1 ,i crowed1 and now for    
,mac6  ,you1 ,mac1 are a rotten player2 
you take sixteen to a hole4  ,only ten1 
protested ,mac hastily4  ,how the devil 
did you know8  ,i've never played with  
you4  ,deduction1 my boy4  ,you roared  
at my joke1 because it touched your bad 
golf complex4  ,in fact you were really 

laughing at yourself and your own awful 
golf4  ,what about me8 put in ,duncan4  
,now there was something in ,duncan's   
eye that should have warned me of       
danger1 but ,i was so proud of my       
success that ,i plunged confidently4    
,oh1 you don't play golf1 ,i said       
airily4  ,wrong6 he cried1 ,i do6  ,and 
,i'm worse than ,mac too6  ,i was       
astounded4  ,impossible6 ,i cried4  ,you
 never laughed at my story at all2 that 
is it touched nothing whatsoever inside 
you4  ,duncan shook his head4  ,you're  
completely wrong this time4  ,well1 why 
didn't you laugh8 ,i asked4  ,he        
grinned4  ,i dunno4  ,possibly it is    
because ,i first heard that joke in my  
cradle4        99      99      99       
99      99  ,mac's infant mistress was  
off duty to-day owing to an attack of   
influenza1 and he gladly accepted my    
offer to take her place4  ,half-an-hour 
after my entry into the room ,mac came  
in to see how ,i was getting on4  ,most 
of the infants were swarming over me1   

and ,mac frowned4  ,at his frown they   
all crept back silently to their seats4 
,you seem to have the fatal gift of     
demoralising children1 he growled4  ,it 
hadn't struck me before1 but it is a    
fact2 ,i do demoralise children4 ,not   
long ago ,i entered a ,montessori       
school1 and ,i spoke not one word4 ,in  
five minutes the insets and long stairs 
were lying neglected in the middle of   
the floor1 and the kiddies were         
scrambling over me4  ,i felt very guilty
 for ,i feared that if ,montessori      
herself were to walk in she would be    
indignant4  ,i cannot explain why ,i    
affect kiddies in this way4 ,it may be  
that intuitively they know that ,i do   
not inspire fear or respect2 it may be  
that they unconsciously recognise the   
baby in me4 ,anyway1 as ,mac says1 it is
 a fatal gift4  ,i think ,miss ,martin  
the infant mistress is a good teacher4  
,her infants do not fear her1 and ,i am 
sure they love her4  ,the only person   
they fear is ,mac1 poor dear old ,mac1  

the most lovable soul in the world4  ,he
 tries hard to show his love for the    
infants but somehow they know that      
behind his smile is the grim head-master
 who leathers ,tom ,murray4  ,i sent wee
 ,mary ,smith into ,mac's room to fetch 
some chalk to-day1 and she wept and     
feared to enter4  ,occasionally1 ,i     
believe1 ,mac will enter the room1 seize
 a wee mite who is speaking instead of  
working1 and give him or her a scud with
 the tawse4  ,i wonder how a good soul  
like ,mac can do it4  ,i have an        
unlovely story of a board school4  ,an  
infant mistress lay dying1 and in her   
delirium she cried in terror lest her   
head-master should come in again and    
strap her dear1 wee infants4  ,it is a  
true story1 and it is the most damning  
indictment of board school education    
anyone could wish for4  ,she was a good 
woman who loved children1 and if fear of
 her head-master brought terror to her  
on her deathbed1 what terrors are such  
men inspiring in poor wee infants8  ,the

 men who beat children are exactly in   
the position of the men who stoned      
,jesus ,christ2 they know not what they 
do1 nor do they know why they do it4    
99      99      99      99      99      
,there was a stranger in ,dauvit's shop 
when ,i entered to-day1 a seedy-looking 
whiskered man with a threadbare coat and
 extremely dirty linen4  ,shabby genteel
 would be the ,scots description of him4
  ,dauvit asked me a casual question    
about ,london1 and the stranger became  
interested at once4  ,ah1 he said1      
you're from ,london1 are ye8  ,man1     
yon's a great place1 a wonderful place6 
,i nodded assent4  ,man1 he continued1  
yon's the place for sichts6  ,could     
anything beat the procession at the     
,lord ,mayor's show1 eh8  ,i meekly     
admitted that ,i had never seen the     
,lord ,mayor's show1 and he raised his  
eyebrows in surprise4  ,but ,i'll tell  
ye what's just as good1 mister1 and     
that's the ,king and ,queen opening     
,parliament4  ,man1 yon's a sicht1 isn't

 it8  ,i--er--,i haven't had the        
opportunity of seeing it1 ,i said4  ,he 
looked more surprised than ever4  ,but1 
man1 ,i'll tell ye what's just as good1 
and that's a big ,london fire4  ,man1 to
 see the way the firemen go up the      
ladders like monkeys4 ,yon's a sicht for
 sair een6  ,i never had the luck to see
 a fire in ,london1 ,i said             
hesitatingly4 ,when were you last in    
town8  ,he did not seem to hear my      
question2 he was evidently thinking of  
other ,london thrills4  ,man1 he said   
ruminatingly1 often while ,i sit in the 
,tarbonny ,kirk ,i just sit and think   
aboot ,westminster ,abbey4  ,man1 yon's 
a kirk6   ,i suppose you'll be there    
ilka ,sunday8  ,i found it difficult to 
tell him that ,i had never been in the  
,abbey1 but ,i managed to get the words 
out1 and then ,i avoided his reproachful
 eye4  ,he knocked out his pipe1 and ,i 
took the action to be a symbolic one    
meaning3 ,you are an empty sort of      
person4  ,he studied me critically for a

 time1 then he brightened4  ,aye1 he    
said cheerfully1 ,london's a graund     
place1 but1 for sichts give me ,new     
,york4  ,i felt more humble than ever1  
for ,i had never travelled4  ,he seemed 
to guess that by the look of me1 for he 
never asked my opinion of ,new ,york4   
,man1 he said warmly1 yon's a place6    
,yon skyscrapers6  ,phew6 and he        
whistled his wonder and admiration4     
,and the streets6  ,man1 ye canna walk  
on the sidewalk at the busy times4  ,a  
wonderfu' place1 ,new ,york1 but1 as for
 me1 give me the ,west1 ,california and 
,frisco4  ,you have travelled much1 sir1
 ,i said reverently4  ,the sir seemed to
 come naturally2 my inferiority complex 
was touched on the raw4  ,again he      
ignored me4  ,to see yon cowboys6  ,man1
 yon's what ,i call riding6  ,and the   
,indians6  ,he sighed2 it was obvious   
that he was living over again his life  
in the western wilds4  ,a wistful look  
crept into his eyes1 and ,i began to    
construct his sad story4  ,he loved a   

maid1 but the bruiser of the camp loved 
her also 4 4 4 hence the broken-down    
clothes1 the dirty collar4 ,but anon he 
cheered up again4  ,yes1 he said1 ,i    
love the ,west1 but for colour and      
climate give me ,japan4  ,i was so      
confused now that ,i had to blow out my 
pipe vigorously4  ,i glanced at ,dauvit1
 but he was sharpening his knife on the 
emery hone1 and did not appear to be    
interested4  ,i felt a vague anger      
against ,dauvit2 why wasn't he helping  
me in my trial8  ,japan1 continued the  
irrepressible stranger1 is one of the   
finest countries in the world1 but1 for 
climate give me ,siberia4  ,i hastily   
thought to myself that if ,i were ,lenin
 ,i 4 4 4 but ,i did not follow out my  
daydream1 for the stranger brought me   
back to earth by inquiring what was my  
honest and unbiassed opinion of the     
,peruvians4  ,i very cleverly pretended 
that ,i had swallowed some nicotine1    
and1 after a polite pause for my answer1
 he went off to the subject of pearl    

fishing at ,thursday ,island4  ,then he 
looked at ,dauvit's clock4  ,jerusalem6 
he gasped1 the pub shuts at twa o'clock6
 and he rushed out of the shop4  ,i     
heaved a great sigh of relief1 and then 
,i heaved a greater sigh of relief4  ,i 
seized ,dauvit by the arm4  ,dauvit1 ,i 
gasped1 who--who is your cosmopolitan   
friend8  ,my what kind o' a friend8     
,your world-travelled friend1 ,dauvit4  
,tell me who he is4  ,dauvit laughed    
softly4  ,that1 he said1 was ,joe ,mill4
  ,he bides wi' his old mother in that  
cottage at the foot o' the brae4  ,to   
the best o' my knowledge he hasna been  
further than ,perth in his life4  ,but6 
,i cried in amazement1 he has been      
everywhere6  ,he hasna1 said ,dauvit    
shortly1 but he works the cinema lantern
 at the ,farfar picter hoose4        99 
99      99      99      99  ,i had a    
long talk to-night with ,macdonald about
 self-government in schools1 and ,i told
 him of my plans for running a          
self-governing school in ,highgate4  ,at

 the end of the discussion ,i had the   
biggest surprise of my life4  ,mac      
smoked for a long time in silence1 then 
he turned to me suddenly4  ,look here1  
old chap1 ,i'll have a shot at          
introducing self-government to-morrow1  
he said with enthusiasm4  ,i grasped his
 hand4  ,excellent6  ,mac1 you're a     
wonder6  ,you're a brave man6  ,i don't 
feel brave1 he said nervously4  ,it's   
going to be a very difficult job4  ,it  
is1 ,i said grimly1 and the most        
difficult part is for you to keep out of
 it4  ,what do you mean8  ,i mean that  
you have been an authority for so long  
that you'll find yourself issuing orders
 unthinkingly4  ,more than that the     
kiddies are so much dependent on you    
that they will wait to see how you vote4
  ,what's the best way to begin it8 he  
asked4  ,simply walk in to-morrow and   
say3 ',look here1 you are going to      
govern yourselves4  ,i have no power2 ,i
 won't order anyone to do anything2 ,i  
won't punish anyone4  ,now1 do what you 

like'4  ,mac looked frightened4  ,but1  
good ,lord1 man1 they'll--they'll wreck 
the school6  ,funk6 ,i laughed4  ,his   
eyes were full of excitement4  ,it'll be
 an awful job to keep my hands off them1
 he said half to himself4  ,funk6 ,i    
said again4  ,it's all very well1 but 4 
4 4 well1 ,i'm rather strict you know4  
,so much the better6  ,all the better a 
row6  ,you ,bolshevist6 he laughed4  ,he
 was like a boy divided between two     
desires--to steal the apples and to     
escape the policeman4  ,i half feared   
that his courage would desert him4      
,here1 he said1 why not come over to    
school8  ,the temptation was great and  
,i wavered4  ,no1 ,i said at last1 ,i   
can't do it4  ,my presence would        
distract the children1 and 4 4 4 they   
won't smash all the windows in front of 
a stranger4  ,you want my support1 you  
dodger6  ,but ,i would give ten pounds  
to be in ,mac's schoolroom to-morrow    
morning4        99      99      99      
99      99  ,i went out this morning and

 sat on the school wall and smoked my   
pipe4 ,i strained my ears for the first 
murmur of the approaching storm4  ,not a
 sound came from the schoolroom4  ,mac  
has funked it after all1 ,i groaned1 and
 went in to help ,mrs4 ,macdonald to    
pare the potatoes4  ,when ,mac came over
 at dinner-time his face wore a         
thoughtful look4  ,you coward6 ,i cried4
  ,coward6 he laughed4  ,why1 man1 the  
scheme is in full swing6  ,then ,i asked
 him to tell me all about it4  ,your    
knowledge of children is all bunkum1 he 
began4  ,you said there would be a row  
when ,i announced that ,i gave up       
authority4  ,and wasn't there8  ,not a  
vestige of one4  ,the kids stared at me 
with open mouth1 and 4 4 4  ,and what8  
,oh1 they simply got out their books and
 began their reading lesson4 ,as quiet  
as mice too4  ,and do you mean to tell  
me that it made no difference8 ,i asked4
  ,none whatever4  ,i tell you they just
 went on with the timetable as usual4   
,but didn't they talk to each other     

more8  ,there wasn't a whisper4  ,i     
considered for a minute4  ,what exactly 
did you say to them when you announced  
that they were to have self-government8 
,i just said what you told me last      
night4  ,did you add anything8  ,he     
avoided my eye4  ,of course ,i said that
 ,i trusted them to carry on the school 
as usual1 he admitted reluctantly4      
,thereby showing them that you didn't   
trust them at all1 ,i explained4 ,mac1  
you must have been a thundering strict  
disciplinarian4  ,the kiddies are dead  
afraid of you4  ,i fear that you'll     
never manage to have self-government4   
,this fear of you must be broken1 and   
you've got to break it4  ,but how8 he   
asked helplessly4  ,by coming down off  
your pedestal4  ,you must become one of 
the gang4 ,one dramatic exhibition will 
do it4  ,what do you mean8  ,smash a    
window2 chuck books about the room 4 4 4
 anything to break this idea that you   
are an exalted being whose eye is like  
,god's always ready to see evil4  ,mac  

looked annoyed and injured4  ,what good 
will my fooling do8 he asked4  ,but1 ,i 
protested seriously1 it's essential4    
,you simply must break your authority if
 you are to have a free school4  ,there 
can be no real self-expression if you   
are always standing by to stamp out     
slacking and noise4  ,but1 he protested1
 didn't ,i tell 'em ,i was giving up my 
authority8  ,yes1 but they don't believe
 you4  ,you've got the eye of an        
authority4  ,he was by this time getting
 rather indignant4  ,i can't go the     
length you do1 he said sourly4  ,i'm not
 an anarchist4  ,in that case ,i'd      
advise you to chuck the experiment1     
,mac1 ,i said with an indifferent shrug 
of my shoulders4  ,the shrug nettled    
,mac2 he is one of the bull-dog breed1  
and ,i saw his lips set4  ,i've begun   
it1 and ,i won't chuck it1 he said      
firmly4  ,and ,i hope to prove that your
 methods are all wrong4  ,let it come   
gradually2 that's what ,i say4  ,when he
 came over at four o'clock his face     

glowed with excitement4  ,he slapped me 
on the back with his heavy hand4  ,man1 
he cried1 it's going fine6  ,we had our 
first trial this afternoon4  ,go on1 ,i 
said4  ,oh1 it was a first class start4 
,jim ,inglis threw his pencil at ,peter 
,mackie4  ,i hope he didn't miss1 ,i    
said flippantly4  ,mac ignored my       
levity4  ,and then ,i didn't know what  
to do4  ,my first impulse was to haul   
him out and strap him1 but of course ,i 
didn't4  ,i just said to the class3     
',you saw what ,jim ,inglis did8  ,you  
have to decide what is to be done about 
it'4  ,and they answered3 ',please1 sir1
 give him the tawse'8 ,i said4  ,mac    
laughed4  ,that's exactly what they did 
say1 but ,i told them that they were    
governing themselves1 and suggested that
 they elect a chairman and decide by    
vote4  ,bad tactics1 ,i commented4  ,you
 should have left them to settle their  
own procedure4  ,what happened then8    
,they appointed ,mary ,wilson as        
chairman1 and then ,john ,smith got up  

and proposed that the prisoner get six  
scuds with the tawse from me4  ,the     
motion was carried unanimously4  ,you   
refused of course8 ,i said4  ,man1 ,i   
couldn't refuse4  ,i was alarmed1       
because six scuds are far too many for a
 little offence like chucking a pencil4 
,i made them as light as possible4  ,i  
groaned4  ,what would you have done8 he 
asked4  ,taken the prisoner's side1 ,i  
said promptly1 ,i should have chucked   
every pencil in the room at the judge   
and jury4  ,then ,i should have pointed 
out that ,i refused to do the dirty work
 of the community4  ,but where does the 
self-government come in there8 he       
protested4 ,chucking things at the jury 
is anarchy1 pure anarchy4  ,i know1 ,i  
said simply4  ,but then anarchy is      
necessary in your school4  ,you don't   
mean to say that the children thought   
that throwing a pencil was a great      
crime8  ,what happened was that they    
projected themselves on to you2         
unconsciously they said3 ',the ,mester  

thinks this a crime and he would punish 
it severely4'  ,they were trying to     
please you4  ,i say that anarchy is     
necessary if these children are to get  
free from their dependence on you and   
their fear of you4  ,so long as you     
refuse to alter your old values you     
can't expect the kids to alter their old
 values4  ,unless you become as a little
 child you cannot enter the kingdom     
of--er--self-government4  ,i know that  
,mac's experiment will fail1 and for    
this reason2 he wants his children to   
run the school themselves1 but to run it
 according to his ideas of government4  
99      99      99      99      99  ,i  
think of an incident that happened when 
,i was teaching in a school in ,london4 
,i had a drawing lesson1 and the        
children made so much noise that the    
teacher in the adjoining room came in   
and protested that she couldn't make her
 voice heard4  ,the noise in my room    
seemed to increase 4 4 4 and the lady   
came in again4  ,the noise increased4   

,next day ,i went to my class4  ,you    
made such a noise yesterday that the    
teacher next door had to stop teaching4 
,she rightly complained4  ,now ,i want  
to ask you what you are going to do     
about it4  ,you should keep us in order1
 said ,findlay1 a boy of eleven4  ,i    
refuse1 ,i said2 it isn't my job4  ,this
 raised a lively discussion2 the        
majority seemed to agree with ,findlay4 
,anyway1 ,i said doggedly1 ,i refuse to 
be your policeman1 and ,i sat down4     
,there was much talking1 and then ,joy  
got up4  ,i think we ought to settle it 
by a meeting1 and ,i propose ,diana as  
chairman4  ,the idea was hailed with    
delight1 and ,diana was elected chairman
 and she took my desk seat and ,i went  
and sat down in her place4  ,joy jumped 
up again4  ,i propose that ,mr4 ,neill  
be put out of the room4  ,the motion was
 carried4  ,righto6 ,i said1 as ,i moved
 to the door1 ,i'll go up to the        
staff-room and have a smoke4  ,send for 
me if you want me4  ,i smoked a         

cigarette in the staff-room1 and as ,i  
threw the stump into the grate ,nancy   
came in4  ,you can come down now4  ,i   
went down4  ,well1 ,i said cheerily1    
have you decided anything8  ,yes1 said  
the chairman1 we have decided that----  
,joy was on her feet at once4  ,i       
propose that we don't tell ,mr4 ,neill  
what we have decided4  ,we can ask him  
at the end of the week if he notices any
 difference in our behaviour4  ,others  
objected1 and the matter was put to the 
vote4  ,the voting was a draw1 and      
,diana gave the casting vote in favour  
of my being told4  ,then she said that  
the meeting had agreed that if anyone   
made a row in class1 he or she was to be
 sent to ,coventry for a whole day4     
,what will happen if ,i speak to the one
 that has been sent to ,coventry8 asked 
,wolodia4  ,we'll send you to ,coventry 
too1 said ,diana1 and the meeting       
murmured agreement4  ,no one was ever   
sent to ,coventry1 but ,i had no further
 complaints against the class4  ,one    

interesting feature in the affair was   
this3 ,violet1 a lively girl full of    
fun1 one day got up and1 as a joke1     
proposed that ,mr4 ,neill be sent to    
,coventry4  ,the others1 usually willing
 to laugh with ,violet1 protested4      
,that's just silly1 ,violet1 they said4 
,if you propose silly things like that  
we'll send you to ,coventry4  ,then     
someone got up and proposed that ,violet
 be sent to ,coventry for being silly1  
and ,diana at once took the chair4  ,i  
got up and moved the negative1 pointing 
out that ,i made no charge against her1 
and she was acquitted by a majority of  
one4  ,i mention this to show that      
children of eleven and twelve can take  
their responsibilities seriously4  ,when
 ,i told the story to ,macdonald he     
said3 ,but why didn't you join in their 
noise8  ,for two reasons1 ,mac1 ,i said4
  ,firstly these children were not under
 the suppression of government schools2 
secondly it wasn't my school4     ,,iii4
  ,the servant girl at the ,manse has   

had an illegitimate child1 and ,meg     
,caddam1 the out-worker at ,east ,mains 
is cutting her dead4  ,thus the gossip  
of ,mrs4 ,macdonald4  ,meg ,caddam is   
the unmarried mother of three4  ,i have 
noticed again and again that the most   
severe critic of the unmarried mother is
 the unmarried mother1 and ,i have many 
a time wondered at the fact4  ,now ,i   
know the explanation2 it is the familiar
 ,projection of a ,reproach4  ,meg feels
 guilty because of her three children1  
but her guilt is repressed1 driven down 
into the unconscious4  ,she dare not    
allow her conscious mind to face the    
truth1 for then the truth would lower   
her self-respect2 it would be           
unpleasant1 out of harmony with her     
ego-ideal4  ,but it is easy for her to  
project this inner reproach on to       
someone else1 hence her blaming of the  
,manse lassie4  ,meg ,caddam is really  
condemning herself1 but she does not    
know it4  ,i used to despise the ,meg   
,caddams as hypocrites1 but1 poor souls1

 they are not hypocrites4  ,their       
condemnation of their fallen sisters is 
genuine4  ,it is wonderful how we all   
manage to divide our minds into         
compartments4  ,sandy ,marshall of      
,brigs ,farm is a most religious man1   
yet the other day he was fined for      
watering his milk4  ,it is unjust to say
 that his religion is hypocritical4     
,what happens is that his religion is   
shut up in one compartment of his mind1 
and his dishonesty is shut up in another
 compartment 4 4 4 and there is no      
direct communication between the        
compartments4  ,the mind is like one of 
the older railway carriages2 education's
 task is to convert the old carriage    
into a new corridor carriage with       
communication between the compartments4 
,meg ,caddam's own transgression against
 current morality is locked up in one   
compartment2 her condemnation of the    
,manse girl is in another compartment4  
,there is an unconscious communication1 
but there is no conscious communication4

  ,i don't know what ,meg would say if a
 cruel friend pointed out to her that   
she also was a fallen woman4  ,i think  
that the gossip of this village mostly  
consists of projected reproaches4  ,liz 
,ramsay1 an old maid and the            
super-gossip of ,tarbonny1 came into the
 schoolhouse this morning4  ,do ye ken  
this1 she said to ,mrs4 ,macdonald1 it's
 my opeenion that ,mrs4 ,broon died o'  
neglect4  ,i went to the door the day   
afore she died to speer hoo she was1 and
 her daughter cam to the door1 and do ye
 ken this8  ,that lassie was smiling 4 4
 4 smilin' 4 4 4 and her auld mother    
upstairs at death's door4  ,eh1 ,mrs4   
,macdonald1 she's a heartless woman that
 ,mary ,broon4  ,she killed her mother  
by neglect1 that's what she did4  ,after
 she had gone ,i said to ,mrs4          
,macdonald3 ,who nursed ,liz's mother   
when she died last ,june8  ,nobody1 said
 ,mrs4 ,macdonald grimly4  ,liz had too 
much gossip to retail in the village1   
and ,i'm told that ,liz was seldom in   

the house4  ,i think ,i am guessing     
fairly rightly when ,i say that ,liz    
feels guilty of neglecting her own      
mother1 and like ,meg ,caddam she       
projects the reproach on to someone     
else4        99      99      99      99 
99      99  ,last ,friday night ,i gave 
a lecture to the literary ,society in   
,tarby1 our nearest town4  ,i chose the 
subject of forgetting1 and ,i told the  
audience of ,freud and his great work in
 connection with the unconscious4       
,to-day's ,tarby ,herald in reporting   
the lecture prints phonetically the     
spelling ,froid1 but the ,tarby         
,observer goes one better when it says3 
,mr4 ,neill is an exponent of the new   
science of ,cycloanalysis4  ,which      
reminds me of a painful episode that    
took place when ,i was eighteen4  ,i was
 much enamoured of a young university   
student1 and ,i always strove to gain   
her favour by being interested in the   
things she liked4  ,one day she informed
 me that she intended to take the       

,psychology class at ,st4 ,andrews the  
following session4  ,i had never heard  
the word before1 and ,i made a bold     
guess that it had something to do with  
cycles4  ,in consequence we talked at   
cross purposes for a while4  ,i'd love a
 subject like that1 ,i said warmly4     
,most of it will be experimental        
psychology1 she said4  ,my enthusiasm   
increased4  ,i thought of the many      
experiments ,i had tried with my old    
cushion-tyred cycle4  ,excellent6 ,i    
cried4  ,a sort of training in          
inventing4  ,cranks1 eh8 ,at that time  
my one ambition in life was to invent a 
folding crank that would give double    
power on hills4  ,the lady looked at me 
sharply4  ,why cranks8 she demanded4  ,i
 don't see it4  ,psychology has nothing 
to do with crystal-gazing you know4  ,i 
was gravelled4  ,but what's the idea8 ,i
 asked4  ,improvement of design8  ,this 
made her think hard4  ,h'm1 yes1 ,i     
think ,i know what you mean1 she said   
slowly4  ,but remember that before you  

can improve the psyche you must know the
 psyche4  ,i hastened to agree4         
,certainly1 but all the same there is   
much room for improvement4  ,you don't  
want to come off at every hill1 do you8 
,this seemed to make her more thoughtful
 still4  ,no1 she said1 but don't you   
think that the mind makes the hill8     
,this staggered me4  ,eh8 ,i gasped4    
,mean to say that ,i broke my chain on  
,logie ,brae yesterday because----  ,i'm
 afraid it is too difficult for me1 she 
said apologetically4  ,i get lost in    
metaphors4  ,then ,i asked her something
 about ball bearings1 and she threw me a
 grateful smile 4 4 4 for changing the  
subject--as she thought4  ,the most     
amusing joke is the joke about the      
innocent or ignorant4 ,everyone is      
tickled at the ,hamlet joke ,i referred 
to in my ,log4  ,the school inspector   
was dining with the local squire4       
,funny thing happened in the village    
school to-day1 he said4  ,i was a little
 bit ratty1 and ,i fired a question at a

 sleepy-looking boy at the bottom of the
 class4  ,here1 boy1 who wrote ,hamlet8 
,the little chap got very flustered4    
,p--please1 sir1 it wasna me6  ,the     
squire laughed boisterously4  ,and ,i   
suppose the little devil had done if    
after all6 he cried4  ,we laugh at that 
story because we have all made mistakes 
owing to ignorance1 and blushed for them
 a hundred times later4  ,when we laugh 
at the squire1 we are really laughing at
 ourselves2 we are getting rid of our   
pent-up self-shame4  ,that's why a good 
laugh is a medicine2 it allows us to get
 rid of psychic poison1 just as a good  
sweat rids us of somatic poison4        
,charlie ,chaplin has possibly cured    
more people than all the psycho-analysts
 in the world4        99      99      99
      99      99  ,public speaking is a 
most difficult thing4  ,it is difficult 
enough when you know your subject1 and  
it is almost impossible if you don't4   
,at a dinner someone asks you to get up 
and propose the health of the ladies4 ,i

 tried proposing that toast once2       
luckily most of the diners were under   
the table by that time4  ,what can one  
say about the ladies8  ,when you have a 
definite subject to talk about1 and when
 you know everything about it1 even then
 public speaking is difficult4  ,you    
stand up before a sea of faces4  ,you   
see no one2 you dare not catch anyone's 
eye4  ,the best plan is to fix your eye 
on the blurred face of the man at the   
back of the hall4  ,you feel that the   
audience is vaguely hostile4  ,at one   
time ,i used to go straight into my     
subject 4 4 4  ,ladies and gentlemen1   
the subject of evolution has occupied   
the minds of--  ,then the audience began
 to rustle1 and the women turned to look
 at the hats behind them4  ,nowadays ,i 
am more wary4  ,i stand up and gaze over
 the sea of faces for a full minute4    
,there is absolute silence4  ,i put my  
hands into my trouser pockets and gaze  
at the ceiling1 as if ,i were           
considering whether ,i should go on or  

give it up and go home4  ,even the boys 
at the back of the hall begin to look   
towards the platform4  ,then ,i look    
down and find that my tie is hanging out
 of my waistcoat1 and ,i adjust it4  ,a 
girl of ten giggles4  ,what can you     
expect for fivepence half-penny8 ,i ask1
 and the audience gasps4  ,why doesn't  
someone invent a long tie that won't    
come out at the ends8 ,i ask wearily1   
and there is a laugh4  ,i go on from    
ties to collars1 and there is another   
laugh4  ,after that ,i can speak on     
education for two hours1 and everyone in
 the hall will listen with great        
attention4  ,the first thing in public  
speaking is to get on good terms with   
your audience1 and ,i claim that the    
best way to do this is to show them the 
human side of yourself4  ,some of your  
hearers are agin you2 they have come out
 to criticise you4  ,you disarm them at 
once by treating yourself as a joke4    
,of course you must suit your tactics to
 your audience4  ,the tie remark will   

put me on good terms with a rural       
audience1 but it would fail in a lecture
 to teachers in the ,albert ,hall4  ,an 
important thing to remember is that     
crowd humour is quite different from    
individual humour4  ,a crowd will roar  
with delight if the lecturer            
accidentally knocks over the drinking   
glass on the table1 but no individual   
ever laughs when a similar accident     
happens in a private room4  ,read the   
reports of speeches in the ,house of    
,commons4  ,you will read that ,lloyd   
,george1 in a speech1 says3 ,and now let
 us turn to ,ireland 7loud laughter74   
,but in cold print it isn't a very good 
joke4  ,quite a good way of commencing a
 lecture is to tell a short story 4 4 4 
about the chairman if possible4  ,but   
you must be careful4  ,keep off the     
topic of the chairman's marital affairs2
 he may have lodged a divorce petition  
the week before4  ,on second thoughts ,i
 think it better not to mention the     
chairman at all4  ,last winter the local

 mayor was presiding at a lecture ,i    
gave in an ,english town4  ,after ,i had
 delivered the lecture1 he got up4  ,i  
came to this meeting feeling dead tired1
 he said1 but after ,mr4 ,neill's       
lecture ,i feel as fresh as a daisy4  ,i
 rose in alarm4  ,ladies and gentlemen1 
,i said hastily1 the mayor has been     
sitting behind me4  ,do tell me3 has he 
been asleep8  ,in the ante-room         
afterwards he assured me solemnly that  
he hadn't been asleep4  ,on ,friday     
night ,i began thus3 ,mr4 ,chairman1    
ladies and gentlemen1 ,i am going to    
talk about ,forgetting4  ,then ,i put my
 hand in my inside coat pocket2 then ,i 
tried another pocket1 and got very      
excited while ,i rummaged every pocket  
,i had4  ,i must apologise1 ,i said1 but
 ,i have forgotten my notes4  ,the      
audience laughed1 and we became the best
 of friends4        99      99      99  
99      99  ,forgetting is very often   
intentional4  ,we forget what we do not 
want to remember4  ,brown writes to me  

saying that he is taking the wife and   
kids to the seaside1 and would ,i please
 pay him the fiver ,i owe him8  ,i at   
once sit down and write3 ,my dear       
,brown1 ,i enclose a cheque for five    
quid4  ,many thanks for the loan4  ,hope
 you all have a good time at the sea4   
,three days later ,brown replies4       
,thanks for your letter1 old man1 but   
you forgot to enclose the cheque4  ,why 
did ,i forget the cheque8  ,because ,i  
did not want to pay up4 ,consciously ,i 
did want to pay1 for ,i wrote out the   
cheque all right1 but my unconscious did
 not want to pay1 and it was my         
unconscious that made me slip the cheque
 under the blotter4  ,last summer ,i was
 invited to spend the week-end with some
 people at ,stanmore4  ,i did not want  
to go2 a previous week-end with them had
 been most boring4  ,however1 ,i        
reluctantly consented to go out on the  
,saturday morning4  ,when ,saturday     
morning came ,i was not very much       
surprised to find that ,i had forgotten 

to put out my boots to be cleaned the   
night before4  ,it looks as if ,i       
weren't keen on this trip1 ,i said to   
myself4  ,i went down to ,baker ,street 
and got into the train4  ,we stopped at 
many stations1 and after an hour's      
journey ,i began to wonder what was     
wrong4 ,i asked another man in the      
compartment when we were due at         
,stanmore1 and he looked surprised4     
,why1 he said1 you're on the wrong line2
 you ought to have changed at ,harrow4  
,i got out at the next station and found
 that ,i had an hour to wait for the    
return train to ,harrow4  ,as ,i sat on 
the platform ,i took from my pocket my  
host's letter4  ,remember1 it ran1 to   
change at ,harrow1 and the words were   
underlined4  ,i arrived four hours late 
4 4 4 and spent a pleasant week-end4    
,one night ,i was dining out in ,london1
 and ,i told my host the new theory of  
forgetting4  ,that's all bunkum1 he     
said4  ,why1 there is a flower growing  
at the front door there1 and ,i can     

never remember the name of it4  ,i am   
fond of flowers and never have any      
difficulty in remembering their names as
 a rule4  ,what flower is it8 ,i asked4 
,he tried to recall it1 and had to give 
it up4  ,it's the joke of the family1   
said his wife4  ,he can never remember  
the name ,begonia4  ,begonia6 cried my  
host1 that's the name6  ,but surely you 
don't mean to tell me that ,i want to   
forget it8  ,why should ,i8  ,it may be 
associated with something unpleasant in 
your life1 ,i said4  ,nonsense6 he      
laughed4  ,the name conveys nothing to  
me4  ,we began to talk about other      
things4  ,ten minutes later my host     
suddenly exclaimed3  ,i've got it6      
,what8 ,i asked4  ,that ,begonia        
business4  ,when ,i began business as a 
chartered accountant over twenty years  
ago1 the first books ,i had to audit    
were the books of a company calling     
itself ,the ,begonia ,furnishing        
,company4 ,i glanced through the books  
and soon concluded that they were       

swindlers4  ,i worried over that case   
for a week2 you see it was my first     
case1 and ,i felt a little superstitious
 about it4  ,however1 at the end of a   
week ,i sent the books back saying that 
,i couldn't see my way to undertake the 
auditing4  ,i've never given them a     
thought since4  ,i explained the        
mechanisms to him4  ,the whole idea of  
this ,begonia ,company was so painful to
 him that he repressed it1 that is1     
drove it down into the unconscious4     
,twenty years later he was unconsciously
 afraid to recall the name of the       
flower1 because the name might have     
brought back the painful memories of the
 questionable books4  ,on ,friday night 
during question time one man got up4    
,why is it1 then1 he asked1 that ,i     
cannot forget the painful time when my  
wife died8  ,i explained that a big     
thing like that cannot be forgotten1 but
 pointed out that in a case like that   
the tendency is to forget little things 
in connection with the big pain4  ,i    

told him of a case ,i had myself known4 
,a lady of my acquaintance lived for a  
few years in ,glasgow2 then she moved to
 ,edinburgh1 where she lived for almost 
thirty years4  ,now she lives in        
,london4  ,when she talks of her old    
home in ,edinburgh she always says3     
,when we were in ,glasgow4  ,invariably 
she makes this mistake4  ,the reason is 
almost certainly this3 just before she  
left ,edinburgh she lost the one she    
loved most in life4  ,she says3 ,when we
 were in ,glasgow because the word      
,edinburgh would at once bring back the 
painful memories connected with her     
loved one's death4  ,when ,i was        
teaching in ,hampstead one of my pupils1
 a boy of sixteen1 came to me one day4  
,that's all rot1 what you say about     
wanting to forget things1 he said4 ,i   
went and left my walking-stick in a bus 
yesterday4  ,were you tired of it8 ,i   
asked4  ,tired of it8 he said           
indignantly4  ,why1 it was a beauty1 a  
silver-topped cane1 got it from mother  

on my birthday4  ,that proves your      
theory is all wrong4  ,tell me about    
yesterday1 ,i said4  ,well1 ,i was going
 to a match at lord's1 and it looked    
rather dull1 so mother told me ,i'd     
better take a gamp4  ,i said it wasn't  
going to rain1 and took my cane1 but ,i 
had just got on the top of a bus when   
down came the rain in bucketfuls and ,i 
tell you ,i was wet to the skin4  ,so   
you did mean to leave your cane behind8 
,i asked1 with a smile4  ,but ,i tell   
you ,i didn't6  ,you did1 all the same4 
,you kicked yourself because you hadn't 
taken your mother's advice and brought a
 gamp4  ,you deliberately left your cane
 behind you because it had proved       
useless4  ,i must add that ,i failed to 
convince him4  ,connected with          
forgetting are what ,freud calls        
symptomatic acts4  ,i leave my stick or 
gloves behind when ,i am calling at a   
house3 ,i conclude that ,i want to go   
back there4  ,i go to dinner at the     
,thomsons'1 and at their front door ,i  

absent-mindedly take out my latch-key4  
,this may mean that ,i feel at home     
there2 on the other hand1 it may mean   
that ,i wish ,i were at home4  ,it is   
dangerous to dogmatise about the        
unconscious4  ,i was sitting one night  
with ,wilson1 an old college friend of  
mine4  ,we talked of old times1 and ,i  
remarked that he had been very lucky in 
his lodgings during his college course4 
,yes1 he said1 ,i was in the same digs  
all the five years4  ,she was a ripping 
landlady was ,mrs4--,mrs4--,good ,lord6 
,i've forgotten her name6  ,he tried to 
recall the name1 but had to give it up4 
,two hours later1 as he rose to go1 he  
exclaimed3 ,i remember the name now6    
,mrs4 ,watson6  ,what are your          
associations to the name ,watson8 ,i    
asked4  ,associations8  ,what do you    
mean8  ,what's the first thing that     
comes into your head in connection with 
the name8 ,i asked4  ,he made an effort 
to concentrate his mind1 then suddenly  
he laughed shortly4  ,good ,lord6 he    

cried1 that's my wife's name6  ,i felt  
that ,i could not very well ask him     
anything further1 but ,i suspected that 
,wilson and his wife were not getting on
 well together4        99      99       
99      99      99  ,macdonald's        
self-government scheme has fizzled out4 
,yesterday his scholars besought him to 
return to the old way of authority4     
,they were fed up with looking after    
themselves1 explained ,mac to me4 ,they 
were always trying each other for       
misdemeanours1 and they got sick of it4 
,i tried to explain to ,mac why his     
attempt had failed4  ,self-government   
always fails unless it is complete      
self-government4  ,mac was the director 
and guide2 it was he who decided the    
time-table2 it was he who rang the bell 
and decided the length of the intervals4
  ,the children had nothing to do but to
 keep themselves in order1 hence they   
came to spy on each other4  ,all their  
energies were directed to penal         
measures4 ,their meeting degenerated    

into a police court4  ,that was         
inevitable2 ,mac1 by laying down all the
 laws1 prevented their using their      
creative energy on things and ideas4    
,naturally they put all the energy they 
had into the only thing open to         
them--the trial of offenders4  ,in      
short1 they were employing energy in    
destruction when they ought to have been
 employing it in construction4  ,mac    
seems indifferent now4  ,the thing is   
unworkable1 he says4        99      99  
99      99      99  ,duncan came over   
to-night4  ,i decided to let him do most
 of the talking1 and he did it well4    
,he has been doing a lot of ,regional   
,geography1 and ,i learned much from his
 conversation4  ,as the evening wore on 
he became very affable1 and he treated  
me with the greatest kindness4  ,when   
,mac was seeing him out ,duncan remarked
 to him3 ,that chap ,neill isn't such a 
bad fellow after all4  ,now that ,i have
 shown ,duncan that ,i am his inferior  
in ,geography he will listen to me with 

less irritation4  ,after supper ,i went 
over to see ,dauvit4  ,his shop was     
crowded4 ,conversation was going slowly1
 and ,dauvit seemed to welcome my       
entrance4  ,man1 ,dominie1 he said1 ,i  
am very glad to see ye1 cos the smith   
here has been tellin' his usual lees    
aboot the ten pund troot that he nearly 
landed in the ,kernet4  ,i doot ye      
dreamt it1 smith1 said the foreman from 
,hillend4  ,i ken for mysell that the   
biggest troot ,i ever catched were in my
 dreams4  ,dreams is just a curran      
blethers1 said the smith in scorn4      
,dauvit looked at him thoughtfully4     
,that's a very ignorant remark1 smith1  
he said gravely4  ,there's naebody kens 
what a dream is4  ,some o' thae         
spiritualist lads say that when ye are  
asleep yer spirit goes to the next      
plane1 and that maks yer dreams4  ,the  
smith laughed loudly4  ,oh1 ,dauvit6    
,why1 man1 ,i dreamed last nicht that ,i
 was sittin' we a great muckle pint o'  
beer in my hand4  ,do ye mean to tell me

 that there is beer in heaven8  ,there  
was a laugh at ,dauvit's expense1 but   
the laugh turned against the smith when 
,dauvit remarked dryly3 ,i didna mention
 heaven2 ,i said the next plane1 and    
onybody that kens you1 smith1 kens that 
the plane you're gaein' to is the doon  
plane4  ,naturally1 a muckle pint o'    
beer will be the exact thing ye need    
doon there1 he added4  ,it's my         
opeenion1 said old ,john ,peters1 that  
dreams is just like a motor car withoot 
the driver4  ,or like a schule withoot  
the mester2 the bairns just run aboot   
whaur they like1 nae control as ye micht
 say4 ,weel1 that's jest what happens in
 dreams2 the mester is sleepin' and the 
bairns do all sorts o' mad things4      
,aye1 man1 ,john1 said ,dauvit1 who     
seemed to be struck with the idea1      
there's maybe something in that4  ,just 
as bairns when they get free do a' the  
things they're no meant to do1 we do the
 same things in oor dreams4  ,goad1 but 
,i've done some awfu' things in my      

dreams6  ,here ,jake ,tosh the roadman  
began to cough1 and ,jake's cough always
 means that he is about to say          
something4  ,you're just a lot o'       
haverin' craturs1 he said with          
conviction4  ,if ye had ony sense ye wud
 ken that the dream is just cheese and  
tripe for supper4  ,dauvit's eyes       
twinkled4  ,and does the cheese wander  
frae yer stammick up to yer heid1 ,jake8
  ,i wudna go so far as that1 said ,jake
 seriously1 but what ,i say is that a'  
the different parts o' the body work    
thegether4  ,if the stammick has to work
 a' nicht to digest the cheese1 the heid
 has to keep workin' at the same rate1  
and that's why ye dream4  ,aye1 man1    
,jake1 said ,dauvit1 it's a bonny       
theory1 but wud ye jest tell me exactly 
what work yer toes and fingers and hair 
are doin' a' nicht to keep upsides wi'  
yer stammick8  ,jake dismissed the      
question with an airy wave of his hand4 
,onybody kens that1 he said2 they grow4 
,yer hair and yer nails grow at nichts1 

and that's why ye need a shave in the   
mornin'6  ,what if you don't dream at   
all1 ,jake8 ,i asked4  ,ye're needin'   
some grub1 said ,jake shortly4  ,on     
thinking it over ,i feel that ,jake's   
theory throws some light on ,jung's     
theory of the libido4     ,,iv4  ,this  
morning ,i had a letter from a friend in
 ,london asking when ,i am going to set 
up my ,crank ,school in ,london4  ,i    
began to think about the word ,crank4   
,what is a ,crank8  ,usually the name is
 applied to people who wear long hair1  
eat vegetarian diet1 wear sandals 4 4 4 
or something in that line4  ,a ,crank   
therefore is someone who differs from   
the crowd1 and ,i am led to conclude    
that the ,crank not only differs from   
the crowd but is usually ahead of the   
crowd4  ,according to ,sir ,martin      
,conway the crowd has no head2 it can   
only feel4 ,hence it comes that the main
 feature of a crowd is its emotion4     
,when we study the street crowd1 the    
mob1 this fact is evident2 but can we   

say the same of other crowds 4 4 4 the  
,public ,school crowd1 the ,church1 the 
,miners1 the ,doctors8  ,i think so4    
,the anger that ,alec ,waugh's book1    
,the ,loom of ,youth1 aroused in the    
public schools was not a thought-out    
anger2 it came from the public school   
emotion4  ,so with vivisection2 the     
doctors' rage at the                    
anti-vivisectionists is not an          
intellectual rage2 it is simply a       
professional emotion4  ,just before ,i  
left ,london ,i happened one night to be
 in a company of men who were arguing   
about ,re-incarnation4  ,i had no       
special views on the subject1 but ,i    
soon found myself supporting the crowd  
that was sceptical about                
,re-incarnation4  ,the reason was that  
the leader of the anti-reincarnation    
crowd happened to be a man called       
,neill4  ,it is highly probable that if 
two rag-and-bone men got into a scrap in
 a public house they would support each 
other simply out of a professional crowd

 emotion4  ,that the crowd has no head  
is evident when we read the popular     
papers or see the popular films4  ,the  
most successful papers are those that   
touch the passions of the mob4  ,i      
proved this one week last spring4       
,judges were beginning to introduce the 
cat for criminals1 as a means to stem   
the crime wave4  ,i sat down and wrote  
an article on the subject1 pointing out 
that this was a going back to the days  
of barbarism when lunatics were whipped 
behind the cart's tail4  ,i made a      
strong plea for the psychological       
treatment of the criminal1 basing my    
plea on the fact that crime is the      
result of unconscious workings of the   
mind1 and stating that instead of       
sending a poor man to penal servitude we
 ought to analyse his mind and cure him 
of his anti-social tendencies4  ,i      
thought it a jolly good article1 and    
when a prominent ,sunday paper returned 
the manuscript to me ,i was surprised4  
,my surprise left me on the following   

,sunday when the same paper blared forth
 an article by ,horatio ,bottomley4     
,his title was3 ,wanted--the ,cat6  ,my 
article was more thoughtful1 more       
humane1 more scientific4  ,why1 then1   
was it suppressed8  ,the answer is      
simple3 it did not fit in with the      
passions of the crowd4  ,it becomes     
clear why our best public men--editors1 
cabinet ministers1 publicists are not   
great thinkers4  ,they must keep in     
touch with the crowd2 they must express 
the emotions of the crowd4  ,the        
attitude of the crowd to the anti-crowd 
person1 the ,crank1 is never one of     
contemptuous indifference4  ,it is      
always distinctly hostile4  ,if ,i      
travel by tube from ,hampstead to       
,piccadilly without a hat the other     
travellers stare at me with mild        
hostility4  ,why8  ,conway1 in ,the     
,crowd in ,peace and ,war1 an excellent 
book1 says that this hostility comes    
from fear4  ,a crowd is always afraid of
 another crowd1 because the only force  

that can destroy a crowd is a rival     
crowd4  ,every individual who differs   
from the herd is suspect because he is  
perhaps the nucleus of a rival crowd4   
,that is why the world always crucifies 
its ,christs4  ,the ,crank ,school1     
then1 is a school where anti-crowd      
people send their children4  ,it is the 
school par excellence of the            
,intelligentsia4  ,the tendency of every
 ,crank ,school is to exaggerate the    
difference between the crank and the    
crowd2 hence its adoption of an ideal   
and its concomitant crazes4  ,i cannot  
for the life of me see why ideals are   
associated with vegetarianism1 long     
hair1 ,grecian dress1 and sandals1 just 
as ,i cannot see why art should attach  
itself to huge bow-ties1 long hair1 and 
foot-long cigarette holders4  ,the      
,crank ,school holds up an ideal4  ,it  
plasters its walls with busts of ,walt  
,whitman and ,blake2 it hangs bad       
reproductions of ,botticelli round the  
walls2 it sings songs to ,freedom2 it   

rhapsodises about ,beethoven and ,bach4 
,the children of the ,crank ,schools    
are1 ,i rejoice to say1 not cranks4     
,they leave the boredom of ,bach and    
seek the jazz record on the gramophone2 
they ignore the pictures of ,whitman and
 ,blake and study ,the ,picture ,show or
 ,funny ,bits4  ,many of them think more
 highly of ,charlie ,chaplin than of    
,william ,shakespeare4  ,i say again    
that ,i rejoice in this2 it serves the  
,crank ,school people jolly well right4 
,i cannot see by what right educators   
force what they consider good taste down
 the children's throats4  ,that is a    
return to the old way of authority1 of  
treating the child's mind as a blank    
slate4  ,if the ,crank ,schools are to  
improve1 they must drop their high moral
 purpose tone and come down to earth4   
,they must realise that ,charlie        
,chaplin and ,john ,bull have their     
place in education just as ,shakespeare 
and ,beethoven have their place4  ,we do
 not want to turn out cranks who will   

form a new superior crowd2 we want to   
turn out men and women who will readily 
join the conventional crowd and help it 
to reach better ideals4  ,this question 
of good taste is a sore one with me4  ,i
 think it fatal to impose good taste on 
any child2 the child must form his own  
taste4  ,i know that it is possible to  
cultivate good taste and to become a    
very superior cultivated person1 but ,i 
know that the human1 erring1 vulgar1    
music-hall1 ,charlie ,chaplin part of   
such a person's make-up is not          
annihilated2 it is merely repressed into
 the unconscious4  ,i have a theory that
 each of us has a definite amount of    
human nature1 some of it high1 some of  
it low1 or1 to phrase it differently1   
some of it animal1 some of it spiritual4
  ,we can repress one part1 and then we 
become either a saint or a sinner2 the  
better way is to be both saint and      
sinner1 to look life straight in the    
face1 condemning no one1 judging no one4
        99      99      99      99      

99  ,macdonald was re-reading ,a        
,dominie ,dismissed to-night1 and he    
looked up and said3 ,look here1 you've  
got an awful lot of swear-words in this 
book6  ,that1 ,i said1 has a cause1     
,mac4  ,they aren't really swear-words2 
the world has grown out of being shocked
 at a 'damn1' but ,i am willing to admit
 that there are more damns and hells    
than is usual4  ,they are symptomatic2  
they date back to my early days when    
swearing was a crime punishable with the
 strap4  ,they are simply symbols of my 
freedom4  ,most bad language is from a  
like cause4  ,when you foozle on the    
first tee there is no earthy reason why 
you should say ',hell' rather than      
',onions'6 ,but if onions had been taboo
 when you were a child you would find   
yourself using the word as a swear4     
,the curse word is the link that joins  
your foozle with the nursery2 whenever  
you curse you regress1 that is1 you go  
back to the infantile4  ,but1 said ,mac1
 you don't mean to say that if swearing 

were permitted to children that they    
wouldn't curse when they were grown up8 
,i don't think they would1 ,i said4     
,nor would there be any unprintable     
stories if we had a frank sex education4
  ,it's a sad fact1 ,mac1 but           
nine-tenths of humour is due to early   
suppression and repression4  ,seems to  
me1 said ,mac with a laugh1 that if     
everybody were psycho-analysed1 the     
world would be a pretty dull place4     
99      99      99      99      99  ,a  
few days ago ,i found a pot of light    
paint in ,mac's workshop1 and1 impelled 
by heaven only knows what unconscious   
process1 ,i painted my bicycle blue4    
,this morning1 the paint being dry1 ,i  
rode forth into an unsympathetic world4 
,women came to their doors to stare at  
my machine1 and as they stared they     
broke into laughter4  ,when ,i reached  
the village of ,cordyke the school was  
coming out1 and ,i was greeted with a   
howl of derision4  ,i thought it a good 
instance of crowd psychology2 ,i was    

different from the crowd1 and ,i evoked 
laughter and derision4  ,after cycling a
 few miles1 ,i came to an old man       
breaking stones at the bottom of a hill4
  ,on my approaching he threw down his  
hammer and turned to stare at my cycle4 
,i dismounted4  ,almichty me6 he said   
with surprise4  ,that's a michty colour6
  ,it's unusual1 ,i said1 as ,i lit a   
cigarette4  ,he fumbled for his clay    
pipe4  ,i've seen black anes1 and ,i    
wance saw a silver-plated ane1 but ,i   
never heard tell o' a blue bike afore1  
he said4  ,did you pent it8  ,i         
acknowledged that it was my very own    
handiwork4  ,but1 he said in puzzled    
tones1 what was yer idea8 and he stared 
at it again4  ,a michty colour that6  ,i
 threw my bike down on the grass and sat
 down on the cairn4  ,between you and   
me1 ,i said mysteriously1 ,i had to     
paint it blue4  ,he raised his eyebrows4
  ,yea1 man6  ,government orders1 ,i    
said carelessly1 and began to throw     
stones at a tree trunk at the other side

 of the road4  ,government orders8  ,he 
looked very much surprised4  ,yes1 ,i   
said airily4  ,you see1 it's like this4 
,the ,coalition ,government isn't very  
firmly placed these days1 and1 well1    
,i'm an agent for it4  ,of course1 you  
know that it is really a ,tory          
government1 and my bike1 as it were1    
invites the electorate to vote ,true    
,blue4  ,yea1 man6  ,i thocht that you  
was maybe ane o' thae temperance lads   
frae ,americky4  ,ah6 ,i said solemnly1 
that reminds me2 ,pussyfoot tried to    
induce me to make my tour a sort of     
joint thing4  ,he suggested that ,i     
might carry on my ,tory work1 and at the
 same time take part in the blue ribbon 
campaign4 ,of course ,i refused4  ,of   
coorse1 he nodded4  ,officially ,i am   
doing ,coalition work1 ,i continued     
conversationally1 but ,i have motives of
 my own4  ,you don't say6  ,oh1 yes4  ,i
 am a great admirer of ,lord ,fisher and
 the ,blue ,water school1 sometimes     
spoken of as the ,blue ,funk school4    

,again1 ,i find that the ,great ,war has
 left many people in the blues1 and by  
means of homeopathy ,i cure 'em2 ,i mean
 to say that they come to their doors   
and laugh at my blue bike4  ,my blue    
dispels their blues4  ,the old man did  
not seem to follow this4  ,of course1 ,i
 went on1 the ,bluebells of ,scotland   
have something to do with my selection  
of the colour4  ,a verra nice sang1 he  
commented4  ,an excellent song6  ,then  
there is the well-known phrase ',once in
 a ,blue ,moon1' and innumerable songs  
about the pale moonlight4  ,also ,i once
 knew a man who had the blue devils4  ,i
 tried to think of other phases of      
blueness1 but my stock was almost       
exhausted4  ,of course1 ,i added1 ,i am 
not forgetting the other blues1 the     
,oxford blues1 ,reckitt's ,blue1 ,blue  
,coupons1 and--and--,i'm afraid ,i can't
 think of any other blues just at the   
moment4  ,the old man drew the back of  
his hand over his mouth4  ,there's the  
',blue ,bonnets' up at the tap o' the   

brae1 he suggested thirstily4  ,good    
idea6 ,i cried1 come on6 and together we
 climbed the brae4        99      99    
99      99      99  ,a friend of mine in
 ,london has written me asking if ,i    
will write an article on ,co-education  
for an educational journal1 in which she
 is interested4  ,i replied3 ,i can't   
see where the problem comes in2 to a    
,scot co-education is not a thing that  
has to be supported by argument2 he     
accepts it as he accepts the law of     
gravitation4  ,i wonder why ,english    
people are so afraid of co-education4   
,to this day schools like ,bedales1     
,king ,alfred's1 ,harpenden1 and        
,arundale are reckoned as crank schools4
  ,the great middle-class of ,england   
believes in segregation4  ,even ,dr4    
,ernest ,jones1 the most prominent      
,freudian psycho-analyst in ,england1   
appears to be afraid of it4  ,i can only
 conjecture that ,jones agrees with the 
middle and upper classes in associating 
sex with sin4  ,i have never tried to   

think out my reasons for believing in   
co-education2 possibly the true reason  
is that having grown up in a            
co-education atmosphere1 co-education   
has become a part of me just as my      
,scots accent has4  ,in other words1 ,i 
may have a co-education complex4  ,if   
that is so1 my arguments will be mere   
rationalisations1 but ,i give them for  
what they are worth4  ,we are all born  
with a strong sex instinct1 and this    
instinct must find expression in some   
way4  ,we know that the sex energy can  
be sublimated1 that is1 raised to a     
higher power4  ,for instance1 the       
creative sex urge may be directed to the
 making of a bookcase1 or the making of 
a century at cricket4  ,but ,i know of  
no evidence to prove that all the       
instinct can be sublimated4  ,an        
adolescent may spend his days at        
craftwork and games1 but he will have   
erotic dreams at nights4  ,all the      
drawing and painting in the world will  
not prevent his having emotion when he  

looks at the face of a pretty girl4  ,in
 our segregation schools boys and girls 
see nothing of each other4  ,the        
unsublimated sex instinct finds         
expression in homosexuality1 that is the
 emotion that should go to the opposite 
sex is fixed on a person of the same    
sex4  ,i admit that we are all more or  
less homosexual2 otherwise there could  
be no friendship between man and man1 or
 woman and woman4  ,in our boarding     
schools the sex instinct often takes the
 road of auto-eroticism4  ,in a         
co-education school the sex impulse is  
directed to one of the opposite sex4    
,this attachment is nearly always a     
romantic ideal attachment4  ,i have     
never known a case that went the length 
of kissing2 among little children at a  
rural school1 yes2 at the age of seven  
,i kissed my first sweetheart2 but among
 adolescents ,i find that neither the   
boy nor the girl has the courage to     
kiss4  ,theirs is a sublimated          
courtship2 they never use the word      

,love2 they talk about liking           
,so-and-so4  ,that at many co-education 
schools this romantic attachment is more
 or less an underground affair is due to
 the moral attitude of teachers4 ,they  
pride themselves on the beautiful       
sexless attachments of their pupils2    
they give moral lectures on the subject 
of kissing1 and naturally every pupil in
 school at once becomes painfully       
self-conscious on the subject4  ,the    
truth is that many co-educationists do  
not in their hearts believe in the      
system2 they still see sin in sex4  ,to 
be a thorough success the co-education  
school must include sex education in its
 curriculum4  ,the children of the most 
advanced parents seldom get it at home1 
and they come to school with the old    
attitude to sex4  ,sex education does   
not mean telling children where babies  
come from2 it should dwell mostly on the
 psychological side of the question4    
,the child ought to learn the truth     
about its sex instinct4  ,most important

 of all1 the child who has indulged in  
auto-eroticism ought to be helped to get
 rid of his or her sense of guilt4      
,this sense of guilt is the primary evil
 of self-abuse2 abolish it1 and the     
child is on the way to a self-cure4     
,how many children can go to their      
teacher and make confession of sex      
troubles8  ,very few4  ,it is the       
teachers' fault2 they set themselves up 
as moralists1 and a moralist is a       
positive danger to any child4  ,not long
 ago ,i was addressing a meeting of     
teachers in south ,london4  ,at question
 time a woman challenged me4  ,you have 
condemned moralists1 she said2 do you   
mean to say that you would never teach a
 child the difference between right and 
wrong8  ,never1 ,i answered1 for ,i do  
not know what is right and what is      
wrong4  ,then ,i think you ought not to 
be a teacher1 she said4  ,i know what is
 right for me1 and wrong for me1 ,i went
 on to explain1 but ,i do not know what 
is right and wrong for you4  ,nor do ,i 

presume to know what is right or wrong  
for a child4  ,i was pleasingly         
surprised to find that the meeting      
roared approval of my reply4        99  
99      99      99      99  ,macdonald  
had to attend a funeral to-day1 and he  
asked me if ,i would take his classes   
for an hour4  ,i gladly agreed4  ,give  
them a lesson on psychology1 he said2 it
 will maybe improve their behaviour4  ,i
 went over to the school at two o'clock1
 and ,mac introduced me1 although ,i had
 already made friends with most of the  
children in the playground and the      
fields4  ,mac then went away and ,i sat 
down at his desk4  ,we'll have a talk1  
,i said1 just a little friendly talk    
between you and me4  ,i want to hear    
your opinions on some things4  ,they    
looked at me with interest4  ,why1 ,i   
said1 why do you sit quiet in school8   
,andrew ,smith put up his hand4         
,please1 sir1 'cause if we don't the    
mester gies us the strap4  ,a very sound
 reason1 too1 ,i commented4  ,and now ,i

 want to ask you why you sometimes want 
to throw papers or slate-pencils about  
the room4  ,please1 sir1 we never do    
that1 said little ,jeannie ,simpson4    
,the mester wud punish us1 said another 
girl4  ,but1 ,i cried1 surely one of you
 has thrown things about the room8  ,tom
 ,murray1 the bad boy of the school     
7according to ,mac71 put up his hand4   
,please1 sir1 ,i did it once1 but the   
mester licked me4  ,why did you do it1  
,tom8  ,tom thought hard4  ,i didna like
 the lesson1 he said simply4  ,i then   
went on further4  ,now ,i want you all  
to think this out3 was ,tom being       
selfish when he threw paper1 or was he  
unselfish8  ,everyone1 ,tom included1   
judged that the paper-throwing was a    
selfish act4  ,i don't agree1 ,i said4  
,tom was trying to do a service to the  
others2 you were all bored by a lesson1 
and ,tom stepped in and took your       
attention4  ,unfortunately he also      
attracted the attention of ,mr4         
,macdonald1 but that has nothing to do  

with ,tom's reason for doing it4 ,tom   
was the most unselfish of the lot of    
you2 he showed more good than any of    
you4  ,the mester didna think that6 said
 ,tom1 with a grin4  ,peter ,wallace    
carefully rolled a paper pellet and     
threw it at ,tom4  ,now1 ,i said with a 
smile1 let's think this out2 why did    
,peter throw that pellet just now8      
,because the class is bored1 said a     
little girl1 and there was a good laugh 
at my expense4  ,righto6 ,i laughed1    
shall we do something else8 but the     
class shouted ,no6 and ,i proceeded4    
,peter1 do tell us why you threw that   
pellet4  ,for fun1 said ,peter1 blushing
 and smiling4  ,he did it so's the class
 wud look at him1 said ,tom ,murray1 and
 ,peter hid his diminished head4  ,a    
wise answer1 ,tom1 ,i said2 but we are  
all like that2 we all like to be looked 
at4  ,who is the best at arithmetic8    
,willie ,broon1 said the class1 and     
,willie ,broon cocked his head proudly4 
,and who is the best fighter8  ,tom     

,murray1 answered the boys1 and one     
little chap added3 ,tom cud fecht       
,willie ,broon wi' one hand4  ,tom tried
 to look modest4  ,i went round the     
class and with one exception every child
 had at least one branch of life in     
which he or she found a sense of        
superiority4  ,the exception was        
,geordie ,wylie1 a small lad of thirteen
 with a white face and a starved        
appearance4  ,the class were unanimous  
in declaring that ,geordie had no       
talent4  ,he canna even spit far enough1
 said one boy4  ,geordie's embarrassment
 made me change the subject quickly1 but
 ,i made up my mind to have a talk with 
him later4  ,some of the reasons for    
individual pride were strange4  ,jake   
,tosh's feeling of superiority lay in   
the circumstance that his father had    
laid out a gamekeeper while poaching4   
,jock ,wilson had once found a shilling2
 another boy had seen fower swine       
stickit a' in wan day2 another could    
smoke a pipe of ,bogie ,roll without    

sickening 7but ,i had to promise not to 
tell the ,mester74  ,the girls seemed to
 find their superiority mostly in       
lessons1 although a few were proud of   
their needle-work4  ,i then went on to  
ask them what their highest ambition in 
life was4  ,the boys showed less        
imagination than the girls4  ,six of    
them wanted to be ploughmen like their  
fathers4  ,to a townsman this might     
appear to be a very modest ambition1 but
 to a boy it means power and position2  
to drive a pair of horses tandem fashion
 as they do on the ,east ,coast1 with   
the tracer prancing on the braes2 that  
is what being a ploughman means to a    
village lad4  ,one boy wanted to be an  
engineer1 another a clerk 7'cos he      
doesna need to tak' aff his jaicket to  
work671 another a soldier4  ,not a      
single teacher6 ,i said4  ,we're no     
clever enough1 said ,tom ,murray4  ,i   
turned to the girls4  ,now1 let's see   
what ambition you have1 ,i said         
hopefully4  ,the result was good2 three 

teachers1 two nurses1 one typist1 one   
lady doctor1 one 4 4 4 lady4  ,this was 
,maggie ,clark4  ,she just wanted to be 
like one of thae ladies in the picters  
with a motor car4  ,and husband8 ,i     
asked4  ,no1 ,i dinna want a man1 but ,i
 wud like a lot of bairns1 she said1 and
 there was a snigger from the boys who  
had got their sex education from the    
ploughmen at the ,brig of evenings4     
,another girl remarked that ,maggie's   
ambition was a selfish one4  ,but are   
you not all selfish8 ,i asked4  ,the    
class indignantly denied it4  ,right1 ,i
 said1 what do you say to a composition 
exercise8  ,they obediently got out     
their composition books1 but ,i told    
them that my exercise was an easy one4  
,i tore up a few pages into slips and   
distributed them4  ,now1 ,i said1       
suppose ,i give you five pounds to do   
what you like with4 ,write down what you
 would do with it1 fold the paper1 and  
hand it in to me4  ,they eagerly agreed1
 and at the end of five minutes ,i had a

 hatful of slips4  ,i then drew a line  
down the centre of the blackboard4  ,on 
one side ,i wrote the word ,selfish2 on 
the other ,unselfish4  ,the class       
groaned and laughed4  ,now1 ,i said     
cheerfully1 this will prove whether the 
class is unselfish or not1 and ,i       
unfolded the first slip4  ,but you'll   
say we are selfish6 said a boy4  ,i have
 nothing to do with it1 ,i said2 you are
 to decide by vote4 ,first person 4 4 4 
',i would buy a bicycle'3 selfish or    
unselfish8  ,selfish6 roared the class1 
and ,i put a mark in the first column4  
,next paper 4 4 4 ',scooter1 knife1 and 
the rest on ice-cream4'  ,selfish6 and  
,i put down another mark4  ,next3 4 4 4 
',buy a pair of boots' 4 4 4 selfish or 
unselfish8  ,the class had to stop and  
think here4  ,selfish6 said a few4      
,unselfish1 said others1 'cos he wud be 
helpin' his mother4  ,then we'll vote on
 it1 ,i said1 and by a majority of two  
the act was declared to be unselfish4   
,we then had a run of knives1 tops1     

candy1 cycles1 and no vote was          
necessary4  ,then came a puzzler4  ,i   
would send every penny to the starving  
babies of ,germany4  ,unselfish6 cried  
the class in one voice4  ,i was just    
about to put the mark in the unselfish  
column when a boy said3 ,that's selfish1
 cos she'd feel proud of being so--so   
unselfish4  ,how do you know it is a    
she8 ,i asked4  ',cause ,i ken it's     
,jean ,wilson1 he answered promptly2 she
 has took a reid face4  ,there followed 
a breezy debate on ,jean's act4  ,it is 
selfish1 said ,mary1 because when you do
 a kind action you feel pleased with    
yourself1 and it was selfish because if 
it hadna pleased her she wud never ha'  
done it4  ,i asked for a vote and to my 
astonishment the act was declared       
selfish by a majority of three4  ,i     
suspect that conventional ,hun ,hatred  
had something to do with the voting4    
,the voting over ,i totted up the marks4
  ,you have judged yourselves1 ,i said1 
and according to your own showing you as

 a class are #hg per cent4 selfish and  
#ac per cent4 unselfish4  ,this essay in
 composition was not original2 ,i got   
the idea from ,homer ,lane1 who claimed 
that it was the best introduction to    
school psychology4 ,it is the best way  
to make children think of their own     
behaviour1 he said1 and my experiment   
has shown this4  ,when ,mac came back ,i
 said to him2 ,you've got a fine lot of 
bairns1 ,mac4  ,had you any difficulty8 
he asked4  ,what do you mean8  ,oh1 ,i  
half thought they would try to pull your
 leg1 especially a boy like ,tom        
,murray4  ,he is a most difficult chap1 
you know4  ,tom's a saint1 ,i said2     
every child is a saint if you treat him 
as an equal4  ,no1 ,i had no difficulty1
 but ,i want you to send over ,geordie  
,wylie to me this afternoon4  ,there is 
something wrong with that boy2 he has no
 ambition and he has one of the worst   
inferiority complexes ,i have ever      
struck4  ,i want to have a quiet talk   
with him4  ,mac promised1 and at three  

o'clock ,geordie came over to the       
schoolhouse4 ,i took him into the       
parlour1 and he sat nervously on the    
edge of a chair4  ,tell me about        
yourself1 ,geordie1 ,i said1 but he did 
not answer4  ,do you keep rabbits8      
,aye4  ,what kind8  ,twa ,himalayas and 
a half ,patty4  ,keep doos8  ,no4  ,it  
was like drawing blood from a milestone4
  ,what do you do when you go home at   
nights8  ,it was a long difficult task  
to get anything out of him4  ,the only  
fact of value ,i got was that he was a  
great reader of ,wild ,west stories4  ,i
 asked him to come to me again1 and he  
said he would4  ,to-night ,i asked ,mac 
about him4  ,he's a dreamer1 said ,mac1 
and he's lazy4  ,i am always strapping  
him for inattention4  ,he's not a manly 
boy1 never plays games1 always stands in
 a corner of the playground4  ,does he  
ever fight8 ,i asked4  ,he's a great    
coward1 but there's one queer thing     
about him2 when any boy challenges him  
to fight he goes white about the gills  

but he always fights 4 4 4 and gets     
licked4  ,mac1 ,i said1 will you do me a
 favour8  ,don't whack him again2 it is 
the worst treatment you can give him4   
,he is a poor wee chap1 and he is badly 
in need of real help4  ,all right1 said 
the kindly ,mac1 ,i'll try not to touch 
him1 but he irritates me many a time4   
99      99      99      99      99  ,i  
had ,geordie for an hour this morning4  
,he was taciturn at first1 but later he 
talked freely4  ,he is very much afraid 
of his father1 and he weeps when his    
father scolds him4  ,this makes the     
father angrier and he calls ,geordie a  
lassie1 a greetin' lassie4  ,this jeer  
wounds the boy deeply4  ,he is afraid in
 the dark4  ,he told me that he was     
puzzled about one thing2 when he goes   
for his milk at night he is never afraid
 on the outward journey1 but when he    
leaves the dairy to come home he is     
always in terror4  ,i asked him what he 
was afraid of and he told me that he    
always imagined that there was a man in 

a cheese-cutter cap waiting to murder   
him4  ,what is a cheese-cutter8 ,i      
asked4  ,it is a bonnet with a big      
snout1 something like a railway         
porter's4  ,my father's a porter and he 
has ane4  ,evidently the man he is      
afraid of is his father4  ,this may     
account for his lack of fear when he is 
walking from his home to the dairy4     
,then he is leaving his father2 when he 
starts to return he is going back to his
 father and is afraid4  ,i asked him    
about his fights with other boys4  ,he  
always feared a fight but he went       
through with it so that the other boys  
should not call him a coward4           
,naturally he always lost the battle2 he
 fought with a divided mind2 while his  
less imaginative opponent thought only  
of hitting and winning1 ,geordie was    
picturing the end of the fight4  ,i     
asked him if he had a sweetheart1 and he
 blushed deeply4  ,he told me that he   
often took fancies for girls1 but they  
would not have him4  ,frank ,murray     

always cut him out2 ,frank was a big    
hefty lad and the girls like the beefy  
manly boy4  ,he does much day-dreaming1 
phantasying it is called in analysis4   
,his dreams always take the form of     
conquests2 in his day-dream he is the   
best fighter in the school1 the best    
scholar1 the most loved of the girls4   
,his night dreams are often terrifying1 
and he has more than once dreamt that   
his father and ,macdonald were dead4    
,he finds compensation for his          
weaknesses in his day-dreams and his    
reading4  ,he likes tales of heroes who 
always kill the villians and carry off  
the heroines4  ,it is difficult to know 
what to do in a case like this4  ,the   
best way would be to change the boy's   
environment1 but that is out of the     
question4  ,even then the early fears   
would go with him2 he would transfer his
 father-complex to another man4  ,i     
tried to explain to ,mac the condition  
of ,geordie4  ,the boy is all bottled   
up2 his energy should be going into play

 and work1 but instead it is regressing1
 going back to early ways of adaptation 
to environment4  ,but what can ,i do    
with him8 asked ,mac4  ,give him your   
love1 ,i said4  ,he fears you now1 and  
your attitude to him makes him worse4   
,you must never punish him again1 ,mac4 
,that's all very well1 said ,mac        
ruefully1 but what am ,i to do8         
,suppose ,tom ,murray and he talk during
 a lesson1 am ,i to whack ,tom and allow
 ,geordie to get off8  ,chuck punishment
 altogether1 ,i said4  ,you don't need  
it2 it is always the resort of a weak   
teacher4  ,i couldn't do without it1 he 
said4  ,all right then1 ,i said wearily1
 but ,i want you to realise that your   
punishments are making ,geordie a       
cripple for life4        99      99     
99      99      99  ,i went down and had
 a talk with ,geordie's father4  ,he was
 not very pleasant about it2 indeed he  
was almost unpleasant4  ,there's nothing
 wrong wi' the laddie1 he said          
aggressively4  ,he's a wee bit          

lassie-like and he has no pluck4  ,here 
,geordie entered the kitchen1 and his   
father turned on him harshly4  ,started 
to yer lessons yet8 he demanded4        
,geordie muttered something about having
 had to feed his rabbits4  ,i'll rabbit 
ye6  ,get yer books oot this minute6 and
 ,geordie crept to a corner and rummaged
 among some old clothes for his         
school-bag4  ,i tried to be as amiable  
as ,i could1 and avoided controversy4   
,i soon saw that father and mother were 
not pulling well together1 and ,i       
suspected that the father's harshness to
 ,geordie was often a weapon to wound   
the fond mother4  ,i saw that nothing ,i
 could say would do any good1 and ,i    
took my departure4  ,later ,i went to   
see ,dauvit1 and found him alone4  ,i   
asked him to tell me about the ,wylies4 
,tarn ,wylie is wan o' the stupidest men
 in a ten mile radius1 said ,dauvit4    
,but he's no stupid whaur money is      
concerned2 they tell me that he drinks  
aboot half his week's wages1 and his    

puir wife has to suffer4 ,that laddie o'
 theirs1 he was born afore the marriage1
 and they tell me that ,tarn wud never  
ha' married her if he hadna been fell   
drunk the nicht he put in the banns4    
,this case of poor ,geordie shows what a
 complexity there is in human affairs4  
,his father has a mental conflict1 and  
he drinks so that he may get away from  
reality4  ,the father's drinking and the
 son's reading of romances are          
fundamentally the same thing2 each is   
trying to get away from a reality he    
dare not face4  ,no treatment of        
,geordie could be satisfactory unless at
 the same time the parents were being   
treated4     ,v4  ,carrotty ,broon1 one 
of my old scholars1 came to ,dauvit's   
shop to-night1 and he talked about his  
pigeons 4 4 4 his doos he calls them4   
,he keeps a pigeon loft of homers1 and  
he spends a considerable amount in      
training them4  ,some fowk think1 he    
said1 that a homer will flee hame if ye 
throw it up five hunder miles awa4      

,i've read of flights of seven hundred  
miles1 ,i said4  ,carrotty ,broon       
chuckled4  ,i mind o' a homer ,i had1 he
 went on4  ,he was a beauty1 a reid     
chequer4  ,his father had flown frae    
,london to ,glasgow1 and his mither was 
a flier too4  ,weel1 ,i took him doon to
 ,monibreck on my bike1 and let him off4
  ,i never saw him again2 five mile1 and
 he cudna find his way hame6  ,he must  
ha' been shot1 said ,dauvit1 for thae   
homers find their way hame by instinct4 
,na1 na1 ,dauvit1 said ,broon1 they flee
 by sicht4  ,when ye train a homer ye   
tak it a mile the first day1 syne three 
miles1 syne maybe seven1 ten1 twenty1   
fifty1 and so on4  ,send the purest bred
 homer fower mile without trainin' and  
ye'll never see him again4  ,carrotty   
,broon told us many interesting things  
about doos and their ways4  ,we listened
 to him because he was an authority and 
we knew little about the subject4  ,the 
only thing ,i ken aboot doos1 said      
,dauvit with a laugh1 is that when ,i   

was a laddie auld ,peter ,smith and     
,john ,wylie keepit homers and they were
 aye trying compeetitions in fleein'4   
,john was gaein' to ,london for his     
summer holiday1 and so him and ,peter   
made a bargain that they wud flee twa   
homers from ,london4  ,weel1 ,john he   
got to ,london1 and he thocht to himsell
 that seein' they had a bet o' twa pund 
on the race1 he wud mak sure o' winnin'1
 and so what does he do but tak a pair  
o' shears and cut the wing o' ,peter's  
doo4  ,when ,john cam hame after a      
fortnight's trip he met auld ,peter at  
the station4  ',weel1 ,peter1' says he1 
'wha won the race8'  ',you1' said       
,peter2 'your doo cam hame the next day1
 but mine only got hame this mornin'4   
,and it has corns on its feet like      
tatties4'        99      99      99     
99      99  ,to-day was ,macdonald's    
,inspection ,day1 and at dinner time he 
brought over ,mr4 ,j4 ,f4 ,mackenzie1   
,h4,m4,i4,s41 a middle-aged man and ,mr4
 ,l4 ,p4 ,smart1 assistant ,i4,s41 a    

cheery youth fresh from ,oxford4  ,when 
inspectors dine with the village dominie
 they never mention the word education4 
,these two talked a lot1 and all their  
conversation was about mountain-climbing
 in ,switzerland4  ,they swopped long   
prosy yarns about dull incidents1 and ,i
 was very much bored4  ,so was ,mac1 but
 he pretended to be interested1 but then
 he was to see them again1 and ,i wasn't
 4 4 4 at least ,i prayed that ,i might 
not4  ,after a time ,i began to feel    
that ,i was being left out of the       
conversation1 and ,i waited until       
,mackenzie paused for a breath4         
,switzerland is very beautiful1 ,i      
remarked1 but you should see the ,andes4
  ,mackenzie looked at me coldly4  ,i   
haven't been to ,south ,america1 he     
said4  ,same here1 said ,i cheerfully1  
but ,i remember seeing pictures of them 
in the geography book at school4        
,mackenzie looked at me more coldly than
 before4  ,i don't think he liked me1   
and when the younger man chuckled       

,mackenzie glared at him4  ,smart had a 
sense of humour4  ,i'm afraid we have   
been boring you1 he said to me with a   
smile4  ,i'd rather listen to you two   
talking education1 ,i confessed4        
,mackenzie waved the suggestion away4   
,i leave education behind when ,i walk  
out of the school1 he said in grand     
manner4  ,most excellent rhubarb1 ,mrs4 
,macdonald4  ,home grown8 ,and then we  
had ten minutes of garden products      
versus shop greens4  ,i admit that this 
inspector had a genius for small talk4  
,we dismissed greens and ,i led the     
conversation to hens and ducks4         
,mackenzie did not know much about them1
 and he confirmed my opinion of his     
genius for small talk by saying3 ,buff  
,orpingtons6  ,they are named after     
,orpington in ,kent4  ,i remember       
staying a night there before ,i went to 
,switzerland 4 4 4 and the dirty dog    
took the conversation back to his       
mountain climbing4  ,i made a gesture to
 the younger man and got him out into   

the garden4  ,why does he waste precious
 time talking about cabbages and dreary 
,swiss inns8 ,i asked4  ,smart laughed  
shortly4  ,you know how rich folk talk  
at table when the servants are present8 
,i nodded4  ,well1 that's the ,chief's  
attitude to teachers2 he never says     
anything of any importance whatever4    
,but why8  ,he is of the old school4    
,he has been inspecting schools for     
forty years4  ,in the olden days an     
inspector was a sort of ,almighty2      
teachers quaked before him because with 
a stroke of his pen he could reduce     
their money grant4  ,to this day the old
 man treats teachers as a king treats   
his subjects--with kindness but with    
distance4  ,has he any views on         
education8 ,i asked4  ,smart shook his  
head4  ,none1 but he has heaps of views 
on instruction and discipline4  ,by the 
way1 he thinks that ,macdonald's        
discipline is very good4  ,and you8  ,i 
think it rotten1 he said ruefully1 but  
what can ,i do8  ,a junior inspector is 

a nobody2 if he has any views of his own
 he has to pocket them4  ,i would chuck 
out all this discipline rot and go in   
for the ,montessori stunt4  ,take my tip
 and never accept an inspectorship4  ,i 
won't1 ,i said hastily4  ,i liked       
,smart1 and ,i wish we had more of his  
stamp in the inspectorate4  ,when we    
returned to the dining-room ,mackenzie  
looked at me with interest4  ,i didn't  
know that you were the ,dominie's ,log  
man till ,mr4 ,macdonald told me two    
minutes ago1 he said4  ,i am delighted  
to meet you4  ,i enjoyed your book very 
much indeed4  ,very amusing4  ,he was   
quite affable now4  ,writing a book     
gives a man a certain standing4  ,i     
fancy it is the dignity of print that   
does it1 and we all have the print      
superstition4  ,i find myself accepting 
statements in books1 whereas if someone 
said the same things to me over a       
dinner-table ,i should refute them with 
scorn4  ,if it is in ,john ,bull it is  
so6  ,mr4 ,bottomley is a sound         

psychologist4  ,when they were departing
 ,i said to ,smart3 ,yes1 he's very     
amiable and all that1 but ,i am jolly   
glad ,i had ,frank ,michie and not him  
as my chief inspector when ,i wrote my  
,log4  ,smart laughed4  ,my dear chap1  
,mackenzie would have let you run your  
school in your own way4  ,but1 ,i cried1
 he doesn't believe in freedom6  ,he    
doesn't1 but don't you see that he      
simply couldn't have jumped on you8  ,he
 would have thought you either a lunatic
 or a genius1 and he would have feared  
to condemn you in case you might turn   
out to be the latter4  ,i know an art   
critic in ,london1 and1 believe me1 the 
poor devil lives in terror lest he      
should damn the work of a new ,augustus 
,john4  ,the ,futurists aren't          
flourishing on their merits2 they are   
flourishing because the critics are in a
 holy funk to condemn them in case they 
might be artists after all4  ,i want to 
meet ,smart again4  ,i like his style4  
99      99      99      99      99  ,i  

am indeed a ,dominie in ,doubt4  ,what  
is education striving after8  ,i cannot 
say1 for education is life and what the 
aim of life is no one knows4            
,psycho-analysis can clear up a life2 it
 can release bottled up energy1 but it  
cannot say how the released energy is to
 be used4  ,the analyst cannot advise1  
because no man can tell another how to  
live his life4  ,freud clears up the    
past1 but he cannot clear up the future4
  ,is there such a thing as             
,re-incarnation8  ,i wonder4  ,am ,i    
living the life that my past lives on   
earth fitted me for8  ,if so analysis is
 wrong4  ,if ,i am suffering from a     
severe neurosis it is because ,i earned 
this punishment in my past lives1 and   
,freud has no right to cure me4 ,he is  
interfering with the plans of the       
,almighty4  ,if1 as ,i have heard a     
,theosophist declare1 the children in   
the slums are miserable because they    
failed to learn their lesson in previous
 lives1 then the people who try to      

abolish slums are all wrong4  ,i think  
my ,theosophist would argue that the    
charitable person is growing in grace1  
thereby rising above his previous lives4
  ,and thus one soul helps another to   
rise to perfection4  ,it may be1 and ,i 
hope it is so1 for then life would have 
a meaning4  ,pain and war would then be 
less terrible1 for they would be but    
incidents in the eternal unfolding of   
perfection4  ,yet ,i find myself        
doubting4  ,if ,i am ,william           
,shakespeare born again ,i do not know  
it1 and ,i am left in doubt as to       
whether ,i may not have been ,charles   
,peace instead4  ,possibly ,i was both4 
,then there is psychical research4  ,i  
have been to a medium and have heard    
things that all the psycho-analysis in  
the world cannot account for4  ,i want  
to believe that the dead can speak to   
us1 but where are the dead8  ,i have    
read ,sir ,oliver ,lodge's ,raymond1 and
 the description of the next world given
 there4  ,frankly ,i don't fancy it1 and

 ,i have no desire to go there4  ,how   
then can ,i attempt to educate children 
when the ultimate solution of life is   
denied me8  ,i can only stand by and    
give them freedom to unfold4  ,i do not 
know whither they are going1 but that is
 all the more a reason why ,i ought not 
to try to guide their footsteps4  ,this 
is the final argument for the abolition 
of authority4  ,we may beat and break a 
horse because we selfishly require a    
horse's service1 and according to the   
accepted view a horse has no immortal   
soul4  ,we dare not beat and break a    
child1 for a child is going to an end   
that we cannot know4  ,i like the       
,theosophist schools1 although ,i do not
 like all ,theosophists4  ,some of them 
seem to be living the higher life       
consciously1 and repressing their lower 
natures4  ,most of them do not smoke or 
drink or eat meat or swear or go to     
music-halls4  ,that may be living on a  
higher plane1 but it is not living      
fully4  ,still1 in many ways they are   

broad-minded4  ,in their schools they do
 not force ,theosophy down the          
children's throats2 they allow a great  
amount of freedom1 but their schools are
 not free schools4  ,there is a definite
 attempt to mould character chiefly by  
insisting on good taste4  ,i am quite   
sure that no head-master of a           
,theosophical ,school would take his    
children to see a ,charlie ,chaplin     
film4  ,charlie is not obviously living 
the higher life2 he stands for the      
vulgar side of life2 he picks up girls  
and gets drunk 7in the play7 and is     
sea-sick and very vulgar about          
soda-water4  ,i find myself insisting on
 the inclusion of ,charlie in any scheme
 of education because no one ought to be
 taught to be shocked at sea-sickness   
and soda-water squirting4  ,charlie to  
me is the antidote to the higher-plane  
crowd2 he and his kind are as essential 
as ,shelley4 ,i admit that reading      
,shelley is a higher kind of pleasure   
than watching ,champion ,charlie1 but no

 human being can safely live on the     
higher plane1 and no child wants to4    
,education must deal with all life2 a   
higher plane diet will produce hot-house
 plants1 beautiful perhaps1 but delicate
 and artificial4        99      99      
99      99      99  ,old ,willie ,murray
 the cobbler had been bed-ridden for    
over a year1 and when ,i dropped into   
,dauvit's shop this morning ,mary       
,rickart was telling ,dauvit that his   
old master was dead4  ,aye1 ,dauvit1 she
 was saying when ,i entered1 ,i'm no the
 kind that speaks ill o' the deid1 but  
,i will say this1 that ,wull ,murray had
 his faults4  ,aye1 and though he's a   
corp the day1 ,i canna pertend that he  
was ony freend o' mine4  ,when ,mary had
 gone ,dauvit turned to me with a queer 
smile4  ,dominie1 you tell me that you  
have studied the science o' the mind1   
psy--what is't you call it8             
,psychology1 ,i said4  ,that's the word4
  ,weel then1 dominie1 just tell me why 
,mary ,rickart had sic a pick at auld   

,willie ,murray4  ,i smoked for a time  
thoughtfully4  ,it's difficult1 ,dauvit4
  ,i haven't got enough evidence4       
,however ,i think ,i can make a good    
guess4  ,weel8  ,mary and ,willie sat in
 the same class at school8  ,good6 said 
,dauvit1 they did4  ,and ,mary was      
,willie's first sweetheart8  ,imphm6    
,mary loved ,willie and he loved her4   
,they were sweethearts for a long time1 
but another damsel came and stole       
,willie's heart away4  ,mary wept bitter
 tears1 but in time she repressed her   
love 4 4 4 and it changed into hate4    
,dauvit chuckled4  ,a very nice story1  
he said1 but1 ye ken1 it's just a story4
  ,you cudna guess the real reason why  
,mary hated him so much4  ,then what was
 the real reason1 ,dauvit8  ,he laughed4
  ,mary hated ,willie ,murray because he
 aince telt her that she was a silly    
woman to think that she cud wear a      
number fower shoe on a number acht foot4
  ,we laughed together1 and then ,i     
said3  ,dauvit1 why did you never marry8

  ,you like women ,i fancy4  ,my remark 
made him thoughtful4  ,man1 he said1    
,i've often speered the same question o'
 mysel4  ,as a young man ,i was gye fond
 o' the lassies1 but 4 4 4  ,i dinna    
ken6 and he broke off suddenly and took 
up a boot4  ,thae soles are just paper  
noo-a-days1 he growled4  ,i refused to  
let him run away from the subject4  ,had
 you a sweetheart8 ,i asked4  ,he       
laughed boisterously to hide his        
confusion4  ,dozens o' them6 he cried4  
,then why didn't you marry one of them8 
,he shook his head4  ,dominie1 that's   
the question4  ,he stared at the grate  
for a while4 ,there was ,maggie ,adams1 
a bonny lassie she was4  ,man1 ,i mind  
when ,i took her to ,kirriemair ,market 
4 4 4  ,he sighed4  ,aye1 man1 dominie1 
,i liked ,maggie mair than ony o' the   
others4  ,did she love someone else8 ,i 
asked softly4  ,dauvit took some time to
 reply4  ,no1 man1 ,maggie wanted me4   
,then the fault lay on your side8  ,you 
didn't love her6  ,dauvit brought his   

hand down on the board4  ,goad1 man1 but
 ,i did6  ,i could not understand4      
,man1 on the road hame frae ,kirrie     
,market ,i was to speer if she wud marry
 me 4 4 4 but ,i didna4  ,we smoked     
silently for a long minute4  ,ye see1 he
 went on slowly1 ,maggie was a bonny    
lassie and ,i liked to kiss and cuddle  
her1 but kissin' and cuddlin' are a very
 sma' part o' marriage1 dominie4  ,there
 was something in ,maggie that ,i was   
aye lookin' for1 but cud never find4    
,aye1 ,i tried to find it in other      
lassies1 but ,i never fund it4  ,what   
was it you wanted to find1 ,dauvit8     
,dauvit paused4  ,ye micht call it a    
soul1 he said4  ,oh1 aye1 he went on1   
,maggie was a bonny lassie wi' a heart  
o' gold1 but she hadna a soul4  ,wud ye 
like to ken what stoppit me speerin' her
 that nicht as we cam through ,zoar8    
,man1 ,i said to mysel3 ,when we come to
 the toll bar ,i'll tak ,maggie in my   
arms and say3 ',maggie1 ,i want ye1     
lassie6'  ,he had to light his pipe     

here4  ,weelaweel1 we got to the toll   
bar and ,i said3 ',maggie1 we'll sit    
doon on the bank for a while4'  ,so we  
sat doon1 and ,i was just tryin' to     
screw up my courage when she pointed to 
the settin' sun4  ',i'd like a dress    
like that1 only bonnier1' she said4     
,man1 dominie1 ,i looked at that sunset 
wi' its gold and purple 4 4 4 and syne  
,i kent that ,maggie was nae wife for   
me4  ,i kent that she had nae soul4     
,after a time ,i remarked3 ,and so1     
,dauvit1 you are a bachelor because you 
were a poet6  ,he busied himself with   
the paper sole4  ,maggie married ,bob   
,wilson the farmer o' ,east ,mains4     
,aye1 and the marriage turned oot a     
happy one1 for ,bob never rose abune    
neeps and tatties in his life4  ,dauvit 
sighed4  ,but ,i sometimes used to look 
at the twa o' them when their bairns    
were roond their knees1 and syne ,i used
 to gie a big ,dawm6 and ging back to my
 wee hoose and mak my ain tea4  ,it     
doesna pay to hae a soul1 dominie1 he   

added with a short laugh4  ,perhaps you 
could have given her a soul1 ,dauvit1 ,i
 said4  ,he shook his head with         
decision4  ,na1 dominie1 a soul is      
something ye're born wi'2 if it isna    
there it canna be put there4  ,you say  
that ,i'm a poet1 and you may be richt2 
there may be a wee bit o' the artist in 
me1 and ye never heard o' an artist that
 was happily married4  ,wumman and art  
are opposites1 and a man canna marry    
both4  ,that is true1 ,dauvit4  ,but art
 is the feminine side of a man's nature2
 it is the woman in him 4 4 4 and the   
woman is superfluous to him1 for she    
becomes the rival of the woman in       
himself4  ,this thought impressed       
,dauvit4  ,noo ,i understand ,rabbie    
,burns1 he cried4  ,rabbie cudna love a 
wumman because he loved the wumman in   
himsel4  ,she was the wife that bore his
 bairns--his poems4  ,he paused1 and a  
pained look came to his face4 ,there may
 be a poet in me1 dominie1 he said      
ruefully1 but she has borne me nae      

bairns4  ,i am ane o' the mute          
inglorious ,miltons 4 4 4 and ,i wud ha'
 been better if ,i had married ,maggie  
and talked aboot neeps and tatties a' my
 life4  ,you couldn't have done it1     
,dauvit1 ,i said as ,i rose to go4      
,from the door ,i looked back at the old
 man as he stared at the fender4        
99      99      99      99      99  ,one
 of the analysts says that the flirt is 
suffering from a mother complex4  ,he   
has never got over his infantile love   
for his mother1 and he is always trying 
to find the mother again in women4      
,hence he is like a bee1 sipping at one 
flower and then flying on to another4   
,i suspect that many a bachelor is a    
bachelor because his early love is fixed
 on the mother4  ,few mothers realise   
the danger of coddling their children4  
,i have heard grown men dying in pain   
call on their mothers4 ,it is a hard    
task for parents1 but they must always  
try to break their children's fixation  
upon them4  ,women having               

father-complexes are common4  ,the other
 day ,i met a girl who had no interest  
in young men2 all her interest was in   
men with beards4  ,no matter what the   
conversation was about she managed to   
mention her father4 4 4  ,father says6  
,she will probably marry a man twice her
 age4  ,it is well-known that boys of   
seventeen often fall in love with women 
of thirty1 while adolescent girls       
usually fall in love with men of thirty4
  ,they are not really in love2 they are
 looking for a substitute for the mother
 or father4  ,the psychology of the man 
of forty who falls in love with the girl
 of sixteen is more difficult to grasp4 
,i think that in most cases the man's   
love interest is fixed away back in     
childhood2 often the girl of sixteen is 
a substitute for a beloved sister4      
,perhaps on the other hand1 a man of    
forty's paternal instinct has been      
starved so long that he wants to find at
 once a wife and a child4  ,few of us   
realise how much of our love interest is

 fixed in the past4 ,think of the men   
who want to be mothered by their wives 4
 4 4 they generally address their wives 
as ,mother4  ,i know happily married men
 who are psychically children2 mother   
won't allow them to carry coals or wash 
dishes or brush clothes2 she treats them
 as they unconsciously desire to be     
treated--as babes4  ,it may be that     
,dauvit has a strong mother complex4    
,he often talks of his mother1 and more 
than once ,i have heard him say that she
 was the best woman he had ever known4  
,it may be that he was unconsciously    
looking for the mother in ,maggie and   
the other girls1 and failed to find her4
  ,maggie's remark about the sunset and 
the dress was not enough to stifle his  
love declaration4  ,the soul he longed  
to find in ,maggie may have been the    
soul of the mother he knew as an infant 
4 4 4 the soul of his ideal woman4  ,the
 more ,i see of men the less importance 
,i pay to their conscious reasons for   
attitudes4  ,i hate ,brown2 he never    

washes2 ,i dislike ,mrs4 ,smith2 she    
uses bad language4  ,murphy is a rotter2
 he has no manners4  ,statements like   
these are rationalisations2 the real    
reason for the dislike lies deeper in   
every case4     ,,vi  ,the law courts   
have re-introduced flogging for         
criminals4  ,to the best of my knowledge
 no member of the law profession has    
protested4  ,if there is a reform       
movement within the law ,i never heard  
of it4  ,the curse of law is that it    
works according to precedent1 and it is 
therefore conservative4  ,our judges    
hand out sentences in blissful ignorance
 of later psychology4  ,last week a boy 
of eleven was birched for holding up    
another boy of nine on the highway and  
demanding tuppence or his life4  ,the   
attitude of the bench is that fear of   
another flogging will prevent that boy  
from turning highwayman again4 ,i admit 
that fear will cure him of that special 
vice1 but what the bench does not know  
is that the boy's anti-social energy    

will take another form4  ,every act of  
man is prompted by a wish1 and very     
often this wish is unconscious4  ,and   
all the birching in the world will not  
destroy a wish2 the most it can do is to
 change its form4  ,without an analysis 
of the boy no one can tell what         
unconscious wish impelled him to turn   
highwayman1 but speaking generally a boy
 expresses his self-assertion in terms  
of anti-social behaviour only when his  
education has been bad4  ,i believe that
 all juvenile delinquency is due to bad 
education4  ,our schools enforce        
passivity on the child2 his creative    
energy is bottled up4  ,no boy who has  
tools and a bench to work with will     
express himself by smashing windows4    
,delinquency is merely displaced social 
conduct2 the motive of the little boy   
who turned highwayman was essentially   
the motive of the boy who builds a boat4
  ,ah6 but we have ,industrial ,schools 
for bad boys6  ,i spent an evening with 
an ,industrial ,school boy of thirteen  

not long ago4  ,it was an unlovely tale 
he told me of his life in school4  ,i   
got the impression of a building        
half-prison1 half-barracks4  ,no one was
 allowed to go out unless to football   
matches when the school team was        
playing4  ,punishment was stern and     
frequent4  ,one old guy1 'e sends you to
 the boss for punishment and says you   
gave 'im an insubordinate look1 and you 
ain't allowed to deny wot 'e says4      
,look here1 ,jim1 ,i said1 suppose ,i   
took you to a free school to-morrow1 a  
school where you could do what you      
liked1 what's the first thing you would 
do8  ,a wild look came into his eyes4   
,i'd lay out the blarsted staff1 he said
 tensely4  ,but1 ,i laughed1 what would 
be the point of laying me out if ,i gave
 you freedom8  ,what have you got       
against me8  ,oh1 he said1 ,i thought   
you meant if ,i got freedom in the      
,industrial ,school6  ,that school is   
condemned2 if a school produces one boy 
who hates and fears its teachers1 it is 

a bad school4  ,i think of the other    
way1 the ,homer ,lane way4  ,homer ,lane
 was superintendent of the little       
,commonwealth in ,dorset4  ,he attended 
the juvenile courts and begged the      
magistrates to hand over to him the     
worst cases they had4  ,he took the     
children down to ,dorset and gave them  
freedom4  ,he refused to lay down any   
laws1 and naturally the beginning of the
 ,commonwealth was chaos4  ,lane joined 
in the anti-social behaviour2 he became 
one of the gang4  ,when the citizens    
thought that their best way of          
expressing themselves was to smash      
windows1 ,lane helped them to smash     
them4  ,his marvellous psychological    
insight will best be illustrated by the 
story of ,jabez4  ,jabez was a          
thoroughly bad character2 he had been   
thief and highwayman1 a bully who could 
fight with science4  ,he came to the    
,commonwealth and was astonished4  ,he  
found boys and girls working hard all   
day1 and making their own laws at their 

citizen meetings at night4  ,jabez could
 not understand it1 and not             
understanding he felt hostile4  ,the    
citizens lived in cottages1 and one     
night ,lane went over to the cottage in 
which ,jabez lived4  ,they were having  
tea1 and ,lane sat down beside ,jabez4  
,what are you always grousing about1    
,jabez8 he asked4  ,don't you like the  
,commonwealth8  ,no1 said ,jabez        
viciously4  ,what's wrong with it8      
,it's too respectable for me1 said      
,jabez1 and his eyes wandered to the    
table4  ,them fancy cups and saucers6   
,wot's the good o' things like that to  
me8  ,i'd like to smash the whole lot o'
 them4  ,lane rose from the table1      
walked to the fireplace1 took up the    
poker and handed it to ,jabez4  ,smash  
them1 he said4  ,jabez had all eyes     
turned towards him4  ,he seized the     
poker and smashed his cup and saucer4   
,excellent6 cried ,lane1 ,jabez is      
making the ,commonwealth a better place1
 and he pushed forward another cup and  

saucer4  ,these were at once smashed1   
and ,lane proceeded to shove forward the
 other dishes4 ,but by this time ,jabez 
was beginning to feel queer4  ,breaking 
dishes was good fun when you were       
breaking laws1 but here there was no law
 to break1 and ,jabez felt that he was  
doing a foolish thing4  ,he wanted to   
stop1 but he could not see how he was to
 stop with dignity4 ,fortunately one of 
the other inmates of the cottage came to
 his aid4  ,it's all very well for you1 
,mr4 ,lane1 she said1 but this isn't    
your cottage1 and you are making ,jabez 
break our dishes4  ,jabez hailed the    
idea with delight2 he now had an        
excellent excuse for stopping4  ,right  
you are6 cried ,lane cheerfully1 ,jabez 
will break something else1 and he took  
out his gold watch and placed it on the 
table4  ,smash that1 ,jabez4  ,no1 said 
,jabez1 ,i won't smash your watch4  ,now
 ,jabez had a saying that if a man were 
dared to do a thing and he didn't do it 
he was a coward4  ,i dare you to smash  

the watch4  ,jabez seized the poker     
again4  ,what6  ,you dare me6  ,yes1 ,i 
dare you4  ,he looked at the watch for a
 few seconds2 then he threw down the    
poker and rushed from the room4  ,poor  
,jabez was killed in ,france4  ,i saw   
the letters that he wrote to ,lane from 
the front1 and they were the letters of 
a decent1 good boy4  ,the early history 
of ,jabez was one of constant           
suppression4  ,authority was always     
stepping in and saying3 ,don't do that6 
,as a result ,jabez at the age of       
seventeen was psychically an infant4    
,the infantile desire to break things   
was suppressed1 but it lived on in the  
unconscious1 and years later ,jabez     
found himself behaving like a child of  
three4  ,the cure was to encourage him  
to act in his infantile way2 by smashing
 a few cups ,jabez got rid of his long  
pent up infantile wish to destroy4      
,discipline would have kept the childish
 wish underground2 freedom led to the   
expression of the wish4  ,homer ,lane is

 the apostle of ,release4  ,he holds    
that ,authority is fatal for the child2 
suppression is bad2 the only way is to  
allow the child freedom to express      
itself in the way it wants to4  ,and    
because ,i count among my friends boys  
and girls who once went to the ,little  
,commonwealth as criminals1 ,i believe  
that ,lane is right4  ,i also believe   
that the schools will come to see that  
he was right 4 4 4 somewhere about the  
year #bejj4        99      99      99   
99      99  ,conversation to-night in   
,dauvit's shop turned on ,spiritualism4 
,dauvit is a firm believer1 and he often
 goes to ,dundee and ,aberdeen to attend
 sances4  ,it's just a lot o' blethers1 
said ,jake ,tosh contemptuously4  ,when 
ye're deid ye're deid1 and that's a'    
aboot it4  ,na1 na1 ,dauvit1 them that  
sees ghosts is either drunk or daft4    
,that's just yer ignorance1 ,jake1 said 
,dauvit4  ,do ye ken whaur ,brazil is8  
,wha is he8 asked ,jake puzzled4  ,it's 
no a he2 it's a place4  ,i asked ye that

 question just to prove that a man that 
doesna ken his ain world canna speak wi'
 ony authority o' the next world4  ,yer 
mind's ower narrow1 ,jake2 ye've no     
vision4  ,na1 na1 ,dauvit1 laughed      
,jake1 it winna do4  ,spooks and things 
is just a curran nonsense1 and no sane  
man wud believe in them4  ,what do you  
say1 dominie8  ,i am willing to believe 
that the dead do communicate1 ,i said4  
,jake was thoroughly amused4  ,it's a   
queer thing1 he said musingly1 that the 
more eddication a man has the more he   
believes in rubbish4  ,here's ,dauvit   
here1 a man that reads ,shakespeare and 
,burns and ,carlyle1 and the dominie    
there that went through a college1 and  
the both o' you believe things that ,i  
stoppit believin' when ,i was sax year  
auld4  ,then there's ,sir ,oliver       
,lodge1 and ,conan ,doyle4  ,oh1 aye1   
the ,bible was quite richt when it said3
 ,much learning hath made them mad4     
,what do you think happens to the dead1 
,jake8 ,i asked4  ,as the tree falleth  

so it lies1 quoted ,jake4  ,there's only
 the twa places after death2 if ye're   
good ye go to ,heaven2 if ye're bad ye  
go to ,hell4  ,and that's why ,i say    
that thae messages from the deid are    
rubbish1 cos if a man's in ,heaven he's 
no going to leave a place like that to  
come doon to speak to a daft auld       
cobbler like ,dauvit in a wee room doon 
in ,dundee4  ,and if a man's in ,hell   
the ,devil will tak good care that he   
doesna get oot4  ,i wondered to find    
that ,dauvit had no answer to this4  ,i 
guessed that ,dauvit's silence was due  
to his early training4  ,he was brought 
up in the old stern ,scots way1 and     
although he has now rejected the old    
beliefs intellectually1 his unconscious 
still clings to them emotionally4  ,i   
fancy that if ,i were very very ill ,i  
might go back to my childish fear of    
,hell-fire1 for1 in illness old emotions
 return1 and intellect flees4  ,dauvit  
would no doubt react in the same way4   
99      99      99      99      99      

,many people seem to have a decided fear
 of psycho-analysis4  ,a mother writes  
me from ,london saying that she would   
like to send her girl to my new school1 
only she is afraid that ,i shall attempt
 to analyse the children4  ,the fear of 
psycho-analysis comes from the general  
belief that ,freud traces every neurosis
 to early sex experiences4  ,whether    
,freud is right or not does not concern 
the teacher2 he deals with normal       
children1 and to try to analyse a normal
 child appears to me to be unnecessary4 
,the teacher's job is to see that the   
children are free from fear and free to 
create2 if he does his task well he is  
preventing neurosis4  ,a neurosis is the
 outcome of repression2 the neurotic is 
a person whose libido or life force is  
bottled up2 he can be cured only by     
letting his pent up emotions free4  ,the
 aim of education is to allow emotional 
release1 so that there will be no       
bottling up1 and no future neurosis2 and
 this release comes through interest4   

,the boy who hates algebra and has to   
work examples is getting no release     
whatever1 for his mind is divided2 his  
attention goes to his quadratic         
equations1 but his interest is          
elsewhere4  ,hence ,i do not think      
analysis is necessary when children are 
being freely educated4  ,in an          
exceptional case a little analysis will 
do good4  ,if ,i see a child unhappy1   
moody1 anti-social1 a thief1 a bully1 ,i
 consider it my job to make an attempt  
to find out what is at the back of his  
mind4  ,with a young boy it is not      
advisable to tell him the whole truth   
about himself2 the teacher discovers the
 truth by watching the child at play1 by
 studying his wishes as expressed in his
 writing1 by noting his attitude to his 
playmates4  ,when he has made his       
diagnosis the teacher can then make the 
necessary changes in the boy's          
environment4  ,i recall the case of     
,tommy1 aged ten4  ,his class was       
constructing a ,play ,town after the    

fashion set by ,caldwell ,cook in his   
delightful book ,the ,play ,way4  ,tommy
 worked with enthusiasm1 too much       
enthusiasm1 for he pinched the girls'   
sand for his railway track4  ,the girls 
objected1 and a regular wordy battle    
took place4  ,tommy felt that he was    
beaten1 and he ceased work4  ,i was not 
very much surprised when the girls came 
and told me that ,tommy was shying      
bricks at the railway line he had been  
so keen on constructing4  ,tommy was    
brought up before the assembled class1  
and they voted unanimously that he be   
forbidden to approach within ten yards  
of ,play ,town4  ,tommy grinned         
maliciously4  ,that night the town      
appeared to have been the victim of an  
earthquake4  ,i went to ,tommy4  ,why   
don't you like the ,play ,town8 ,i      
asked4  ,because the girls are too      
bossy1 he said4  ,it was my town2 ,i    
began it1 and ,i don't see why they     
should be in it at all4  ,and you want a
 ,play ,town all to yourself8 ,i asked4 

,yes4  ,right ho1 ,i said easily4  ,why 
not start to build one8  ,his eyes lit  
up1 and away he ran to lay his          
foundations4  ,he worked eagerly all    
day1 but at night he seemed             
dissatisfied4  ,i haven't got any       
railway or houses2 ,christo won't lend  
me a bit of his railway1 and ,gerda has 
all the houses4  ,i left him to work out
 his problem4  ,in the morning he solved
 it2 ,christo wouldn't lend him any     
rails1 but if ,tommy liked he1 ,christo1
 would run his line up to ,tommy's town 
from the class town4  ,tommy readily    
agreed4  ,in a week's time ,tommy's town
 was a suburb of the bigger town1 and   
,tommy was appointed ,president of the  
whole state4  ,he spent many an hour    
building his bridges and digging his    
tunnels4  ,at first he would allow no   
one to enter his suburb1 but in a few   
days he ceased to claim it as his own1  
and he worked as a member of the gang4  
,i think that most anti-social children 
are like ,tommy3 when their             

self-assertion is threatened they react 
with hostility4  ,the cure for them is  
to direct their self-assertion to things
 instead of people4  ,no boy will try to
 break up a ball game if he has a rabbit
 hutch to construct4  ,the danger is    
that the teacher will often step in when
 the boy ought to be left to his        
companions4  ,the gang is the best      
disciplinarian4  ,one day a class and ,i
 were writing five-minute essays4  ,i   
would call out a word or a phrase1 and  
we would all start to write4  ,the      
children loved the method2 it allowed so
 much play for originality4  ,for       
example1 when ,i gave the word broken   
one girl wrote of her broken doll1      
another of a broken tramp1 another of a 
broken heart2 a boy wrote a witty essay 
on being stoney broke1 another wrote of 
a broken window4  ,on this day ,wolodia1
 a boy of eleven1 did not want to write 
essays4  ,i called out a word1 and we   
started to write4  ,wolodia began to    
talk loudly4  ,stop it1 man1 ,i said    

impatiently1 you're spoiling our essay4 
,he grinned and went on talking4  ,oh1  
shut up6 cried ,joy4  ,shan't6 he       
snapped1 and he went on talking4  ,diana
 rose with a determined air4  ,we'll    
chuck him out1 she said grimly1 and the 
class seized him and heaved him out4    
,then they barricaded the door with     
desks4  ,wolodia made a big row by      
hammering on the door1 and as a result  
we could not proceed with our writing4  
,let him in1 ,i suggested4  ,the class  
protested4  ,he'll sit like a lamb for  
the rest of the period1 ,i said4  ,they 
took away the desk and ,wolodia came in4
  ,he went to his seat 4 4 4 and not a  
sound came from him during the rest of  
the period4  ,this incident impressed me
 greatly2 my complaint1 ,joy's complaint
 did not affect him1 but when the gang  
was against him he was defeated4  ,it   
was a beautiful instance of the force of
 public opinion4  ,cases of stealing    
should be treated by analysis4  ,moral  
lectures are useless2 the cause lies in 

the unconscious1 and the moral lecture  
does not touch the unconscious4  ,nor   
does punishment affect the root cause of
 the delinquency4  ,the teacher must dig
 down into the child's unconscious in   
order to find the cause4  ,an           
illuminating book for all teachers and  
parents to read is ,healy's ,mental     
,disorders and ,misconduct4  ,he shows  
that stealing is very often a           
symptomatic act4  ,the mechanism of many
 cases is something like this3 a child  
has been punished for sexual activities2
 later he breaks into a store and steals
 an article4  ,sex activities and       
thieving have this in common1 that they 
are both forbidden1 but the boy has     
found that much more ado is made about  
sex activities than about stealing4 ,so 
when he is actuated by a sexual urge he 
dare not indulge it2 but his sexual wish
 finds a substitute2 it goes out to the 
associated forbidden thing 4 4 4 the    
article on the store counter4  ,we see  
the same sort of mechanism in the       

neurotic patient2 she fears her own sex 
impulses1 and because she dare not admit
 her sex wishes into consciousness she  
projects her fear on to dogs or mice or 
rats4 ,all phobias--fear of closed      
places1 fear of open places1 fear of    
heights--are displaced fears2 the       
sufferer is really afraid of his own    
unconscious wishes4  ,i do not say that 
all juvenile stealing is due to         
repressed sex4 ,stealing may mean to a  
boy a method of self-assertion2 it may  
mean that thus he rebels against        
authority of father and teacher2 it may 
be the result of any one of a dozen     
causes4  ,but whatever the cause        
stealing is always associated with      
unhappiness1 and the teacher must try to
 cure the unhappiness4  ,in my          
,dominie's ,log ,i confessed that ,i    
liked to cheat the railway company1 and 
,i excused it on the ground that a      
ten-mile journey without a ticket is the
 only romantic experience left in a drab
 world4 ,that was a delightful bit of   

rationalisation4  ,the real reason for  
my delinquency lay in my unconscious4   
,as a child ,i impotently rebelled      
against the authority of parents and    
teachers4  ,later in life ,i            
unconsciously identified the railway    
company with the authorities of my      
infancy4  ,authority said3 ,don't do    
that or you will be smacked2 the railway
 company put up a notice saying3 ,don't 
travel without a ticket or you'll be    
fined forty shillings4  ,my rebellion   
was really a rebellion against          
authority4  ,this may seem to be a      
far-fetched explanation1 but the fact   
remains that now that ,i have discovered
 the reason ,i have no more desire to   
cheat the railway company4        99    
99      99      99      99  ,old ,jeems 
,broon was buried to-day1 and ,dauvit   
went to the funeral4  ,he came back     
chuckling4  ,what's the joke1 ,dauvit8  
,i asked4  ,the burial service1 laughed 
,dauvit4  ,you ken what sort o' a man   
,jeems was2 an auld sinner if there ever

 was a sinner in ,tarbonny1 a bad auld  
scoondrel4  ,weel1 ,jeems hadna been at 
the kirk for twenty years1 and of coorse
 the minister didna ken ony thing aboot 
him4  ,so when he gave the funeral      
prayer he referred to auld ,jeems as    
'this holy man whose life stands as an  
example to those still tarrying in the  
flesh4' ,goad1 but ,i burst oot         
laughin'6  ,i did that6  ,had ,i been   
the minister1 said ,i1 ,i should        
certainly have made a few inquiries     
about ,jeems4  ,but there's a better    
story than that aboot the minister1 went
 on ,dauvit with a laugh4  ,mag         
,currie's little lassie had the         
diphtheria1 and at the end o' the week  
the minister was asked to come oot to   
tak' a burial service in ,mag's bed     
room4  ,man1 he was eloquent6  ,he spoke
 earnestly aboot this flower plucked    
before it had reached its full bloom1   
this innocent life so sadly cut off2 he 
was most touchin' when he turned to ,mag
 and her man and said3 ',mourn not for  

those hands that never did wrong1 the   
lisping tongue that never spoke evil1   
the wide pure eyes that looked their    
love for you4'  ,i suppose the parents  
broke down at that1 ,i said4  ,not they6
 chuckled ,dauvit1 for the corpse wasna 
their lassie ava2 it was auld ,drucken  
,findlay the lodger4  ,i always like to 
hear ,dauvit talk about ministers1 and  
,i encouraged him to go on4  ,it's a    
very queer thing1 dominie1 that a body  
ay wants to laugh at the wrong time4    
,in the kirk and at a funeral--that's   
when ,i want to laugh4  ,i mind when the
 minister was awa' for his holidays1 and
 there was an auld minister frae the    
,heelands cam' to tak' his place4  ,this
 auld man had a habit o' readin' a verse
 and syne stoppin' to explain it to the 
congregation4  ,weel aweel1 wan ,sunday 
he was readin' a chapter frae the ,auld 
,testament1 and he cam' to the words3   
',and the ,angel of the ,lord appeared  
unto ,hosea4'  ,so he looks at the      
congregation ower his specs and he says3

 ',the ,angel of the ,lord appeared unto
 ,hosea4'  ,now1 prethren1 we must ask  
ourselves this important question3 ,was 
,hosea afraid8  ,no1 ,hosea was not     
afraid4  ,you would have been afraid1   
prethren2 ,i would have been afraid4    
,you and ,i would have begun to quake   
and tremble1 but ,hosea was not afraid2 
he was a prave man1 a pold man4  ,when  
we are in trouble let us remember that  
,hosea was not afraid4'  ,so the auld   
man he turns ower the page and reads the
 next verse3 ',and ,hosea was sore      
afraid4'  ,what did he say then8 ,i     
asked4  ,he was a cunnin' auld deevil1  
said ,dauvit1 for he gave a bit cough   
and says3 ',prethren1 that is a wrong   
translation from the original ,hebrew4' 
,i don't think you like ministers1      
,dauvit1 ,i said4  ,he paused in his    
efforts to place a new needle in his    
sewing-machine4  ,no1 man1 ,i do not1 he
 said slowly4  ,nowadays the kirk is    
just a job like anything else2 men go in
 for it for the loaves and fishes       

mostly1 and their prayers never get past
 the roof4  ,and as for the             
congregation1 the kirk is just a        
respectable sort o' society4  ,i tell   
ye1 dominie1 that releegion is deid4    
,at least1 ,christianity is deid4 ,that 
was bound to come2 flowers1 folk1       
hooses1 trees1 horses1 aye1 and nations1
 have a birth1 a youth1 middle age1 auld
 age1 and then death4 ,it's the law o'  
nature1 and a religion is no exception4 
,true1 ,o philosopher6 ,i said1 but     
there is always new life1 and new life  
comes from the old4  ,the flower dies   
and its seed lives2 man dies and his    
seed inherit the earth4  ,christianity  
dies and--and what8  ,that may be1 he   
said thoughtfully4  ,it may be that the 
new religion will grow from the seed o' 
the deid ,christianity2 that ,i canna   
say4 ,what ,i do say is that ministers  
are oot-o'-date2 they are doin' useless 
labour 4 4 4 when they're no fishin' and
 curlin'4     ,,vii4  ,duncan came over 
to-night1 and he asked my advice about  

books4  ,what books would you advise a  
teacher to buy8 he asked4  ,there are   
scores of good books1 ,i replied1 but no
 teacher can afford to buy them4  ,i    
know1 he said crossly2 ,i've had a row  
with the ,income ,tax people4  ,i asked 
for a rebate of ten pounds for necessary
 school books1 and they wouldn't allow  
it1 although ,i'm told that if a ,london
 merchant buys a ,london ,directory he  
gets a rebate for the amount4  ,i agree 
that it is unjust1 ,i said1 but the new 
,income ,tax proposals allow twenty     
pounds a year for teachers' books4      
,just tell us what you would advise a   
teacher to spend his twenty quid on1    
said ,macdonald4  ,it depends on his    
tastes1 ,i said4  ,if his subject is    
,history he will buy history books2 if  
his subject is behaviour1 he'll buy     
psychology books4  ,give us an idea of  
your own library1 said ,duncan4  ,i sat 
down and wrote out a list from memory4  
,it ran as follows3--  ,,books ,,on     
,,education3--   ,the ,play ,way1 by    

,caldwell ,cook4   ,the ,path to        
,freedom in the ,school1 by ,norman     
,mac,munn4   ,what ,is and ,what ,might 
,be1 by ,edmond ,holmes4   ,montessori's
 three volumes4   ,an ,adventure in     
,education1 by ,j4 ,h4 ,simpson4        
,,books ,,on ,,psycho-,,analysis ,,and  
,,psychology3   ,freud's ,interpretation
 of ,dreams1 ,psychopathology     of    
,everyday ,life1 ,three ,contributions  
to the ,sexual ,theory4   ,jung's       
,psychology of the ,unconscious1        
,studies     in ,word ,association1     
,analytical ,psychology4   ,frink's     
,morbid ,fears and ,compulsions4        
,maurice ,nicoll's ,dream ,psychology4  
,morton ,prince's ,the ,unconscious4    
,pfister's ,the ,psycho-analytic        
,method4   ,ernest ,jones'              
,psycho-analysis4   ,ferenczi's         
,contributions to ,psycho-analysis4     
,wilfred ,lay's ,the ,child's           
,unconscious ,mind4   ,moll's ,the      
,sexual ,life of the ,child4   ,adler's 
,the ,neurotic ,constitution4   ,bernard

 ,hart's ,the ,psychology of ,insanity4 
,,crowd ,,psychology3--   ,the ,crowd in
 ,peace and ,war1 ,martin ,conway4      
,instincts of the ,herd in ,peace and   
,war1 ,trotter4   ,the ,crowd1 ,gustave 
le ,bon4  ,,general ,,psychology3--     
,psychology and ,everyday ,life1 ,swift4
   ,textbook of ,psychology1 ,james4    
,the ,boy and ,his ,gang1 ,puffer4      
,mental ,conflicts and ,misconduct1     
,healy4   ,the ,individual ,delinquent1 
,healy4   ,rational ,sex ,ethics1       
,robie4   ,social ,psychology1          
,mc,dougall4   ,the ,play of ,man1      
,groos4  ,that's too much for me1 said  
,duncan4  ,i couldn't afford a quarter  
of these books4  ,what books would you  
recommend if you had to choose half a   
dozen for a hard-up dominie8  ,i thought
 for a little1 and then ,i replied3     
,bernard ,hart's ,the ,psychology of    
,insanity1 two bob2 ,frink's ,morbid    
,fears and ,compulsions1 a first-rate   
book on analysis1 a guinea2 ,the ,crowd 
in ,peace and ,war1 by ,sir ,martin     

,conway1 eight and six2 ,healy's ,mental
 ,conflicts and ,misconduct1 ten and    
six2 and ,wilfred ,lay's ,the ,child's  
,unconscious ,mind1 ten and six4  ,but1 
cried ,duncan1 ,i don't want to set up  
an asylum6  ,what's the good of books on
 insanity and morbid fears to a teacher8
  ,i explained that the titles of       
,hart's and ,frink's books were         
misleading1 although the difference     
between the mind of the lunatic and the 
mind of the average man is merely one of
 degree4  ,bernard ,hart shows that the 
lunatic has the same faults as we have1 
only more so4  ,frink's book is badly   
named2 it is an excellent work on mind  
mechanisms4  ,any teacher who reads     
these six books with understanding will 
never again use a strap on a pupil4  ,if
 ,i were ,education ,minister1 ,i should
 present every school in ,britain with a
 copy of each of the six4  ,macdonald   
asked if ,i had any books on hypnotism  
and suggestion4  ,no1 ,i said1 but ,i   
have read them through a library4  ,i   

don't believe in either because they do 
not touch root causes4  ,we are all     
suffering from bottled up infantile     
emotion1 and analysis goes to the root  
of the matter2 it makes what is         
unconscious conscious1 and enables the  
patient to re-educate himself1 to use   
the old repressed emotion up in his     
daily life4  ,analysis means release4   
,suggestion does not touch the root     
repressed emotion1 and ,i fancy that    
after suggestion the symptom merely     
changes4  ,a man has a phobia of cats4  
,by suggestion ,i can dispel his fear of
 cats1 but the fear is transferred to   
something else1 and he then has an      
exaggerated fear of catching            
tuberculosis4  ,unless the ancient cause
 becomes conscious it is not released4  
,we see suggestion working in our       
schools daily4  ,by suggestion parents  
and teachers force the child to inhibit 
his gross sexual wishes1 and in a short 
time the child accepts the ideals of his
 masters4  ,at first he inhibits a      

desire because father thinks it naughty2
 later he inhibits it because he himself
 thinks it naughty4  ,but the gross     
sexual wish lives on in the unconscious 
4 4 4 hence the neurosis1 hence the     
respectable old men who are imprisoned  
for showing gross pictures to children1 
hence the frequent indecent assaults on 
children4  ,all these unfortunate people
 are suffering from the results of early
 suggestion--the suggestion that sex is 
sin4  ,that primitive sex impulses can  
be sublimated ,i admit1 but the         
teacher's job is not to preach that sex 
activities are evil2 his job is to help 
the child to use up his primitive sex   
energy in creative work4        99      
99      99      99      99  ,what is    
education's chief aim8  ,the reply      
generally given is that education's aim 
is to help a child to live its life     
fully4  ,yet it seems to me that that   
reply does not go far enough2 ,i think  
that the aim should be to help a child  
to live its cosmic life fully1 to live  

for others4 ,every human is egocentric1 
selfish4  ,no human ever rises above    
selfishness1 only there are degrees of  
selfishness4  ,i buy a motor-cycle      
because ,i am selfish2 and you found a  
hospital for orphans because you are    
selfish4  ,it is my pleasure to have a  
,sunbeam2 it is yours to help the poor4 
,your selfishness has become altruism2  
that is1 in pleasing yourself you have  
managed to please others4  ,the aim in  
education is not to abolish selfishness2
 it is to educe the selfishness that is 
altruistic4  ,hence it may be said that 
education's chief aim is to teach one   
how to love4  ,no1 that won't do2 no one
 can teach another how to love2 the     
teacher's job is to evoke love4  ,this  
he can do only by loving4 ,if ,i hate my
 pupils ,i evoke hate from them2 if ,i  
love them ,i evoke love from them in    
return4  ,is it possible to love your   
neighbour as yourself8  ,it is when you 
know yourself4  ,you hate in others what
 you hate in yourself1 and you love in  

others what is lovable in yourself4  ,so
 that in loving your neighbour you are  
loving yourself4  ,if1 then1 the        
teacher's first aim is to evoke the love
 of his pupils1 he must know himself1   
and knowing must love himself4  ,every  
day pupils are suffering because of the 
teacher's hatred of himself4  ,dominie  
,brown rises in the morning surly and   
unhappy4  ,he complains about the bacon 
and eggs at breakfast 4 4 4 no1 the red 
herring2 dominies cannot afford bacon   
and eggs 4 4 4 and ,mrs4 ,brown makes   
unpleasant remarks4  ,brown crosses the 
road to school with thunder on his face1
 and the children shiver in terror all  
morning4  ,if ,brown could sit down     
calmly to think out his bad mood1 he    
would realise that he was punishing the 
children because he was worsted in his  
word battle with his wife4  ,and he     
would be quite wrong4  ,the truth would 
be that he was punishing the children   
because he was at war with himself4     
,his early morning ugly mood betrayed a 

mental conflict4  ,hating himself1 he   
hated his wife2 his hate evoked her hate
 4 4 4 and thus the circle was          
completed4  ,we might trace all the     
futilities1 all the stupidities of      
mankind1 all the wars and crimes and    
injustices to man's ignorance of self4  
,to know all is to forgive all4  ,christ
 condemned no one because he was at     
peace with himself4  ,yet1 ,i suddenly  
remember that ,he whipped the           
money-changers out of the ,temple4      
,this incident is comforting1 for it    
shows that the most lovable man who ever
 lived betrayed one human frailty on one
 occasion at least4  ,but now ,i am     
preaching again4        99      99      
99      99      99  ,i went to see      
,charlie ,chaplin in ,shoulder ,arms    
last night4  ,charlie is an artist of   
high quality2 for once ,i think as the  
crowd thinks4  ,but ,i leave the crowd  
when it comes to appreciating the moving
 human dramas in five parts4  ,the      
cinema must be reckoned with in any     

educational scheme4  ,one may learn more
 about crowd psychology from attendance 
at cinemas than from reading books on   
crowd psychology4  ,the cinema is       
popular because it encourages           
day-dreaming or phantasy4  ,there are   
two kinds of thinking1 reality thinking 
and phantasy or day-dreaming4           
,phantasying is the easier of the two2  
,i can sit for hours building castles in
 ,spain1 and ,i never grow tired2 but if
 ,i have to sit down and think out the  
,theory of ,quadratics ,i soon become   
weary4  ,in reality thinking the        
intellect is active1 but in day-dreaming
 emotion is in control4  ,day-dreaming  
gets nowhere2 the asylums are full of   
day-dreamers who spend their hours      
constructing beautiful phantasies4  ,in 
childhood phantasy is supreme4 ,bobby   
turns the nursery into a jungle2 the    
sofa is a tiger1 the chairs are lions1  
the rocking-horse is an elephant4  ,it  
is all real to him4  ,and in later years
 ,bobby often returns to his childish   

phantasying4  ,we all do4  ,what young  
lover has not phantasied a burning      
mansion where his lady love is          
imprisoned8  ,have we not all clambered 
up the water pipes and rescued her from 
the flames8  ,the world of the theatre  
is a phantasy world4  ,with the rising  
of the curtain we forget our outside    
life2 we live the part of the hero or   
the heroine4  ,to this day ,i always    
leave a theatre with a vague depression 
of spirits2 everyday humdrum life chills
 me when ,i come out to the street4     
,reality is always difficult to face4   
,the great popularity of the cinema is  
due to this human desire for            
make-believe4  ,cinema-going is a       
regression to the infantile2 we return  
to the childish phase where the wish was
 all powerful4  ,in the cinema the      
villain is always worsted2 the wronged  
heroine always falls into the hero's    
arms at the end4  ,life for most of us  
means trials and sorrows and conflicts1 
and we long to return to the nursery    

phase where life was what we wished it  
to be4  ,the cinema and the public-house
 are the most convenient doors by which 
we can regress4  ,the moving drama is   
the other side of the industrial        
picture4  ,life for the masses means    
dirt and disease1 ugly factories1 sordid
 homes1 mean streets4  ,the moving drama
 takes the masses away from grim        
reality2 they see beautifully gowned    
women in drawing-rooms2 they see the    
,king reviewing his regiments2 they see 
wild and free cowboys chasing ,red      
,indians4  ,for two hours they live 4 4 
4 and then they go out again into their 
world of mere existence4  ,and it is all
 wrong1 tragically wrong4 ,the cinema   
craze means that life is too ugly to    
face2 it means that the masses are      
fleeing from reality and to flee from   
reality is fatal4 ,day-dreams are       
laudable only when they come true4  ,if 
the masses day-dreamed of an economic   
,utopia and forthwith set about building
 a ,new ,jerusalem1 their phantasies    

would become realities2 but the moving  
human drama never leads to building2 it 
is raw whisky swallowed to bring        
oblivion4  ,the moving human drama will 
live and flourish so long as mankind    
tolerates the slavery of industrialism4 
,it is a powerful weapon for capitalism2
 like the church and the public-house1  
it keeps the wage-slaves quiet4         
99      99      99      99      99      
,to-night the conversation in ,dauvit's 
shop turned to the subject of honours4  
,they tell me1 said ,jake ,tosh1 that   
you can buy a knighthood1 or a peerage  
for that matter4  ,yea1 man6 said       
,willie ,simpson1 the joiner and        
undertaker from ,tillymains4  ,so       
there's no muckle chance o' you getting 
ane1 ,willie1 said ,dauvit4  ,the joiner
 smoked thoughtfully for a while4  ,na1 
,dauvit1 he said1 there's little chance 
o' an undertaker gettin' a title4  ,you 
would think na that the man that        
coffined the likes o' ,lloyd ,george wud
 get a knighthood4  ,dauvit cackled4    

,honours are sold1 as ,jake says2 they  
are never given for public services4  ,i
 am afraid the joke was lost on most of 
the assembly4  ,jake failed to see it4  
,it is said that ,jake has been known to
 laugh at a joke only once1 and that was
 when the earth gave way beneath the    
minister's feet when he was conducting a
 service at a grave-side1 and he fell   
into the open grave4  ,undertakin'1     
continued the joiner1 is a verra queer  
trade4  ,jake shivered4  ,i dinna ken   
how ye can do it1 he said2 man1 it wud  
gie me the scunners4  ,man1 ye soon get 
accustomed to it1 said the joiner4  ,of 
course1 it has its limitations2 ye canna
 verra weel advertise in the front page 
o' ,the ,daily ,mail1 but1 man1 it's    
what ye micht call a safe trade4  ,how  
safe8 ,i asked4  ,oh1 ye never need to  
worry aboot yer custom2 it's aye there4 
,noo in other lines the laws o' supply  
and demand are tricky4  ,i mind a gey   
puckle years syne there was a craze for 
walkin'-sticks wi' ebony handles4 ,weel1

 ,i went doon to ,dundee and bocht ten  
pund worth o' ebony1 and afore the wood 
was delivered the fashion had changed1  
and the men were all buyin'             
cheese-cutter bonnets1 so here was ,i   
left wi' ten pund worth o' ebony on my  
hands 4 4 4 and if ,i hadna sold it to  
,davie ,lamb the cabinet-maker for      
thirteen pund ,i micht ha' lost the     
money4  ,noo1 in my trade there's no    
sudden change o' fashion as ye micht    
say2 the demand is what ye micht call   
constant1 and that's what makes me say  
it is a safe trade4  ,dauvit winked to  
me surreptitiously4  ,noo1 joiner1 he   
said1 will ye tell me wan thing8  ,i    
want to ken the inner workin's o' an    
undertakker's mind4  ,when somebody is  
verra ill1 what's your attitude8  ,i    
mean to say1 do ye sort o' look on the  
illness wi' hope or what8  ,when ye see 
a fine set-up man on the road1 do ye    
look at him wi' a professional eye and  
say to yersell3 ',sax feet by twa2 a    
bonny corp6'8  ,i'm no so bad as that1  

,dauvit1 he laughed1 though ,i dinna    
mind sayin' that ,i've sometimes been a 
wee bit disappointed when somebody got  
better4 ,on the other hand1 when big    
,tamson was badly1 ,i keepit prayin'    
that he wud get better4  ,an            
unbusinesslike thing to do1 ,i laughed4 
,aweel1 said the joiner1 big ,tamson    
weighed aboot saxteen stone1 and at the 
time ,i hadna the wood4  ,i dinna like  
to hear aboot things like that1 said    
,jake ,tosh nervously2 things like that 
give me the creeps1 and besides it's no 
a proper way to speak4  ,dauvit turned  
to me4  ,man1 dominie1 it's a queer     
thing1 but the more religious a man is  
the less he likes to hear aboot death4  
,jake here is an elder o' the auld kirk2
 he's on the straight and narrow path2  
he's going straight to heaven when he   
dees 4 4 4 and ,i never saw onybody so  
feared o' death as ,jake is4 ,how wud ye
 explain that8  ,i think1 ,i replied1   
that it is due to the fact that ,jake   
has been brought up in the fear of the  

,lord4  ,exactly1 nodded ,dauvit4  ,it's
 my belief that most religious fowk are 
religious not becos they want specially 
to play harps in the next world1 but    
becos they dinna want to be roasted4    
,dauvit's philosophy comes pretty near  
that of ,edmond ,holmes4  ,in ,what ,is 
and ,what ,might ,be ,holmes argues that
 our education system is founded on the 
,old ,testament4  ,man is a sinner1     
prone to evil2 a stern angry ,god       
chastises him when he transgresses4     
,education treats children as sinners2  
it punishes the wrongdoer4  ,i believe  
,holmes is right1 only he does not trace
 back education far enough4  ,the ,god  
of the ,old ,testament was a man-made   
,god 7,jung says that man makes his ,god
 in his own image2 his ,god is his      
ego-ideal74  ,the genesis of education  
is not the ,god of the ,old ,testament2 
it is the unconscious wish of the       
primitive men who invented that ,god4   
,the religion of the ,old ,testament is 
a father complex religion2 ,god is the  

hated and feared father1 the authority  
who punishes1 the provider of food and  
clothing1 the maker of laws4  ,authority
 always makes the governed inferior and 
dependent2 the man with a father complex
 cannot stand alone2 he must always flee
 to his father or father substitute when
 he meets a difficulty4  ,thus does the 
,christian act2 he seeks the ,father2 he
 places his burden on the ,lord2 he     
avoids responsibility4  ,the ,hebraic   
religion and our modern education both  
demand that the individual shall avoid  
responsibility2 the good ,christian and 
the good schoolboy must obey the ,law4  
,i think that if the world is to be free
 the church and the school must aim at  
breaking the power of the ,father4      
99      99      99      99      99      
,look here1 ,mac1 ,i said last night1 ,i
 am going to pay you for my board4  ,mac
 protested vigorously4  ,you'll do      
nothing of the kind1 he said firmly4  ,i
 went to the kitchen and made the offer 
to his wife1 and she also protested4    

,this morning ,i cycled to ,dundee and  
bought a knife-cleaner and a vacuum     
cleaner4  ,they arrived to-night1 and   
,mrs4 ,mac gave a gasp of delight4 ,mac 
tried to frown1 but he could not manage 
it4  ,both protested against what they  
called my idiotic kindness1 but their   
protests were half-hearted4  ,it is a   
strange thing that money itself is      
considered a sordid thing4 ,why should  
,mac refuse five pounds with anger1 and 
accept a ten pound gift with pleasure8  
,if anyone wants to study the           
psychological meaning of money ,i       
recommend ,chapter ,,xl4 in ,dr4 ,ernest
 ,jones' ,psycho-analysis4  ,in the     
unconscious1 at any rate1 money is      
assuredly filthy lucre4        99       
99      99      99      99  ,a teacher  
should know very little about the       
subject he professes to teach4  ,in my  
,london school ,i succeeded a line of   
excellent teachers of drawing4  ,i had  
not been long in the school when ,di1   
aged #ae1 looked over my shoulder one   

day and said3 ,rotten6  ,you can't draw 
for nuts6  ,a week later ,malcolm looked
 at a water colour of mine4  ,you've got
 a horrible sense of colour1 he said    
brightly4  ,then ,i began to wonder why 
everyone in school was much more keen on
 drawing and painting than they had ever
 been in the days of the skilled        
teachers4  ,the conclusion ,i came to   
was that my bad drawing encouraged the  
children4  ,i remembered the beautiful  
copy-book headlines of my boyhood1 and  
,i recalled the hopelessness of ever    
reaching the standard set by the        
lithographers4  ,no child should have   
perfection put before him4  ,the teacher
 should never try to teach2 he should   
work alongside the children2 he should  
be a co-worker1 not a model4  ,most     
teachers set themselves on a pedestal4  
,they think that they lose dignity if   
they are not able to answer every       
question that a child puts to them4     
,one result is that the child develops a
 dangerous inferiority complex4  ,i knew

 one boy who was a duffer at            
mathematics4  ,his weakness was due to  
the inferiority he felt when he saw the 
learned mathematical master juggle with 
figures as easily as a conjurer juggles 
with billiard balls4  ,the little chap  
lost all hope1 and when he worked       
problems he worked solely to escape     
punishment4  ,the difficulty is that if 
a teacher works at a subject year after 
year he is bound to become an expert4   
,the only remedy ,i can think of is to  
make each teacher take up a new subject 
at the beginning of every school year4  
,by the time that he had been master of 
,mathematics1 ,history1 ,drawing1       
,english1 ,french1 ,german1 ,latin1     
,geography1 ,chemistry1 ,physics1       
,psychology1 ,physiology1 ,eurhythmics1 
,music1 ,woodwork1 it would be time to  
retire 4 4 4 with a pension or a        
psychosis4  ,the late ,sir ,william     
,osier said that a man was too old at   
forty2 my experience leads me to        
conclude that many a teacher is too old 

at twenty4  ,i sometimes think that     
every man has a certain definite psychic
 age fixed for him by the ,almighty     
before he is born4  ,i know a man of    
seventy who is psychically five years   
old1 and he will never grow older4  ,i  
know a boy of ten who is psychically    
sixty years old1 and he will never grow 
younger4  ,psycho-analysis is doing a   
lot of good1 but ,i fear that it may do 
a lot of harm1 for1 one fine day        
,professor ,freud or ,dr4 ,jung will get
 hold of ,peter ,pan1 take him by the   
back of the neck1 and say3 ,my lad1     
you've got a fixation somewhere2 you are
 the super-regression-to-the-infantile  
specimen2 you've got to be analysed4    
,and then ,peter will grow up and read  
,the ,daily ,news and own an allotment  
and a season ticket4  ,when we know all 
about psychology1 the world will be     
rather dull4  ,the ,freudians have said 
that the play of ,hamlet is the result  
of ,shakespeare's ,oedipus ,complex4    
,if ,shakespeare had not had an         

unconscious hatred of his father1       
,hamlet would never have been written4  
,in other words1 if ,bacon had          
discovered the psychology of the        
unconscious1 ,shakespeare might have    
been analysed and forthwith might have  
gone in for keeping bees instead of     
writing plays4  ,it is the neurotic who 
leads the world2 he is a rebel and he is
 an idealist4  ,yet when you analyse him
 you find what a poor devil he is4 ,his 
noble crusade against vivisection is due
 to the abnormal strain of cruelty he is
 repressing in himself2 his passion for 
,socialism comes from his infant fear of
 and rebellion against his father4  ,the
 ardent suffragette who smashes windows 
in a just cause is merely doing so      
because the vote is a symbol of freedom 
from an arrogant husband4  ,what ,i want
 to know is this3 ,in the year #ejjj1   
when everyone is free from repressions  
and suppressions1 will there be any     
rebels to spur humanity on8  ,but then  
if humanity is free from unconscious    

urges there will be no need for rebels1 
for there will be no crime or prison or 
wars or politicians4  ,every man will be
 a superman4  ,i firmly believe that    
,freud's discovery will have a greater  
influence on the evolution of humanity  
than any discovery of the last ten      
centuries4 ,freud has begun the road    
that leads to superman1 and1 although   
,jung and ,adler and others have begun  
to lead sideroads off the main track1   
the sideroads are all leading forward4  
,theirs is a great message of hope4     
,and yet1 nineteen hundred years ago    
,jesus ,christ gave the world a ,new    
,psychology 4 4 4 and none of us have   
tried to apply it to our souls4         
,,viii4  ,mac came across a vulgar word 
in a composition he was correcting      
to-night1 and it seemed to alarm him4   
,he could not understand why ,i laughed1
 and ,i explained to him that ,i liked  
vulgarity4  ,i remember when a          
high-minded mother came into my         
class-room in ,hampstead4  ,the highest 

class was writing essays4  ,on her      
asking what the subject was1 ,i replied 
that each pupil had a different subject4
 ,she walked round and looked over their
 shoulders4  ,i saw the lady's eyebrows 
go up as she read titles such as        
these3--,i ,grow ,forty ,feet high in   
,one ,night2 ,i ,edit the ,greenland    
,morning ,frost 7the news this boy gave 
was delightful72 ,i ,interview ,noah for
 the ,daily ,mail 7photos on back page74
  ,she nodded approvingly when she read 
the titles of the more serious essays4  
,then ,i saw her adjust her spectacles  
in great haste2 she was looking over    
,muriel's shoulder4  ,mr4 ,neill1 she   
gasped1 do you think this a suitable    
subject for a girl8  ,i glanced at the  
title2 it was2 ,autobiography of ,my    
,nose4  ,er--what's wrong with it8 ,i   
said falteringly4  ,it lends itself too 
readily to vulgarity1 she said4  ,i     
picked up the book1 and together we read
 the opening words4  ,when first ,i     
began to run 4 4 4 4  ,the high-minded  

lady left the room hurriedly4  ,i loved 
that class4  ,often ,i wish that ,i had 
kept their essays4  ,one day we had a   
five minute essay on the subject3       
,waiting for ,my ,cue4 ,lawrence wrote  
of standing on the steps in a cold sweat
 of fear4  ,he had only five words to   
say--,the carriage waits1 my lord1 but  
he had never acted before4  ,his cue    
was3 ,ho6  ,who comes here8  ,at last1  
he wrote1 ,i heard the fateful words3   
',ho6  ,who comes here8'  ,i could not  
move2 ,i stood trembling on the stairs4 
',get on1 you idiot6' whispered the     
stage manager savagely1 but still ,i    
could not move4  ',ho6  ,who comes      
here8' repeated the fool on the stage4  
,still ,i could not move a step4  ',ho6 
,who comes here8'  ,suddenly ,i became  
aware of a disturbance in the           
auditorium4  ,the noise increased1 and  
then ,i heard the agonising words3      
',fire6  ,fire6'  ,panic followed1 and  
cries of terror rang out4  ,but ,i 4 4 4
 ,i jumped on the stage and cried3      

',hurrah6 ,hoo-blinking-rah6'  ,it was  
the happiest moment of my life4  ,sydney
 took a different line4  ,her cue was   
the sound of a stage kiss4 ,boldly she  
walked on1 and the stage lovers glared  
at her1 for she arrived before the kiss 
was finished or rather properly begun4  
,the audience chuckled4  ,at the next   
performance she determined to be less   
punctual4  ,she heard the smack of the  
kiss1 but she did not move4  ,as she    
waited she heard the audience roaring   
with laughter1 and then she realised    
that the poor lovers had been standing  
kissing each other for a full five      
minutes4  ,i must write to these dear   
old children to ask if they kept their  
essays4        99      99      99       
99      99  ,duncan was in to-night1 and
 he told a school story that was new to 
me4  ,in a certain council school it was
 the custom for teachers to write down  
on the blackboard any instructions they 
might have for the janitor before they  
left at night4  ,one night he came in   

and read the words3 ,find the ,l4,c4,m4 
,good gracious6 he growled1 has that dam
 thing gone and got lost again8  ,that  
version was new to me4  ,my own version 
ran thus3--  ,little ,willie is doing   
his home lessons1 and he asks his father
 to help him with a sum4  ,the father   
takes the slate in his hand and reads   
the words3  ,find the ,g4,c4,m4  ,good  
heavens6 he cries1 haven't they found   
that blamed thing yet8 ,they were       
hunting for it when ,i was at school4   
,i think both versions are very good4   
99      99      99      99      99  ,i  
have a strong ,montessori complex4  ,i  
find myself being critical of her       
system1 and ,i have often wondered why4 
,i used to think that my dislike of     
,montessori was a projection3 ,i        
disliked a lady who raved about         
,montessori1 and ,i fancied that ,i had 
transferred my dislike of the lady to   
poor ,montessori4  ,but now ,i refuse to
 accept that explanation2 it is not good
 enough for me2 there must be something 

deeper4  ,i shall try to discover that  
something deeper4  ,when ,i first read  
,montessori's books ,i said to myself3  
,she is devoid of humour4  ,this to me  
suggests a limitation in art1 and ,i    
feel that ,montessori is always a       
scientist but never an artist4  ,her    
system is highly intellectual1 but sadly
 lacking in emotionalism4  ,this is seen
 in her attitude to phantasy4  ,she     
would probably argue that phantasy is   
bad for a child1 but it is a fact that  
much of a child's life is lived in      
phantasy4  ,phantasy is a means of      
gratifying an unfulfilled wish4 ,the    
kitchen-maid in her day-dream marries a 
prince1 and1 as ,maurice ,nicoll says in
 his ,dream ,psychology1 to destroy her 
phantasy without putting something in   
its place is dangerous4  ,to a child1 as
 to ,cinderella1 phantasy is a means of 
overcoming reality4  ,father bullies    
,willie and the boy retires into a      
day-dream world where he becomes an     
all-powerful person 4 4 4 hence the     

fairy tales of giants 7fathers7 killed  
by little ,jacks4  ,in later life       
,willie takes to drink or identifies    
himself with the hero of a cinema drama4
  ,the extreme form of phantasy is      
insanity1 where the patient completely  
goes over to the unreal world and       
becomes the ,queen of the ,world4  ,and 
it might be objected that phantasying is
 the first stage of insanity4 ,yes1 but 
it is the last stage of poetry4         
,coleridge's ,kubla ,khan1 one of the   
most glorious poems in the language1 is 
pure phantasy4  ,i rather fear that one 
day a grown-up ,montessori child will   
prove conclusively that the feet of     
,maud did not1 when they touched the    
meadows1 leave the daisies rosy4  ,no1  
the ,montessori world is too scientific 
for me2 it is too orderly1 too didactic4
  ,the name didactic apparatus frightens
 me4  ,i quote a sentence from ,the ,new
 ,children1 by ,mrs4 ,radice4  ',per    
carita6  ,get up at once6' she          
7,montessori7 has exclaimed before now  

to a conscientious teacher found        
dishevelled on the ground with a class  
of little ,bolshevists sitting on top of
 her4  ,in heaven's name1 ,i ask1 why   
get up8  ,life is more than meat1 and   
education is more than matching colours 
and fitting cylinders into holes4       
,montessori was thinking of the         
conscious mind of the child when she    
evolved her system1 and the apparatus   
does not satisfy the whole of the       
child's unconscious mind4  ,noise is    
suppressed in a ,montessori school1 but 
every child should be allowed to make a 
noise1 for noise means power to him1 and
 he will use it only as long as it means
 power to him4 ,i have watched ,norman  
,mac,munn's war orphans at ,tiptree     
,hall at work4 ,mac,munn1 the author of 
,a ,path to ,freedom in the ,school1 did
 not say ,hush62 his boys filled the    
room with noisy talk as they worked1 and
 never have ,i seen children do more    
work with so much joy4  ,the ,montessori
 teacher1 when she finds that ,jimmy is 

interfering with the work of ,alice1    
segregates the bad ,jimmy1 and treats   
him as a sick person4  ,but the right   
thing to do is to solve ,jimmy's problem
 as well as ,alice's4  ,what is behind  
,jimmy's aggressiveness8  ,jimmy does   
not know1 nor does the ,montessori      
teacher1 because she has been trained in
 the psychology of the conscious only4  
,another reason why ,i am not wholly on 
the side of ,montessori is1 ,i fancy1   
that her religious attitude repels me4  
,she is a church woman2 she has a       
definite idea of right and wrong4       
,thus1 although she allows children     
freedom to choose their own occupations1
 she allows them no freedom to challenge
 adult morality4  ,but for a child to   
accept a ready-made code of morals is   
dangerous2 education in morality is a   
thousand times more important than      
intellectual education with a didactic  
apparatus4        99      99      99    
99      99  ,to-night ,duncan came in1  
and as usual we talked education4  ,i   

took up the subject of punishment1 and  
condemned it on the ground that it      
treats effect instead of cause4  ,after 
a little persuasion ,duncan seemed      
inclined to agree with me4  ,i see what 
you mean1 he said1 but what ,i say is   
that if you abolish punishment you must 
also abolish reward4  ,why not8 ,i said4
  ,the case against rewards is just as  
simple4  ,a child should do a lesson for
 the joy of doing it4  ,milton certainly
 did not write ,paradise ,lost for the  
five pounds he got for it4  ,yes1 ,i see
 that1 said ,duncan thoughtfully1 but   
what about competition8  ,the prize at  
the end introduces a breezy struggle for
 place4  ,i shook my head4  ,no         
competition6  ,i won't have it4  ,it    
makes the chap at the top of the class a
 prig1 and gives the poor chap at the   
bottom an inferiority complex4  ,no1 we 
want to encourage not competition but   
co-operation4 ,competition leads        
naturally to another world war1 as      
competition between ,british and        

,american capital is doing now4  ,then  
,duncan floored me4  ,and would you     
discourage football because it          
introduces the idea of competition8 he  
asked4  ,of course not1 ,i replied      
,then why discourage it in arithmetic8  
he asked4  ,it was an arresting         
question1 and ,i had to grope for an    
answer that would convince not only     
,duncan but myself4  ,that every healthy
 boy likes to try his strength against  
his fellows is a fact that we cannot    
ignore4  ,mr4 ,arthur ,balfour's desire 
to beat his golfing partner and ,jock   
,broon's desire to spit farther than    
,jake ,tosh are fundamentally the same  
desire1 the desire for self-assertion4  
,and ,i see that the man who comes in   
last in the quarter-mile race is in the 
same position of inferiority as the boy 
who is always at the bottom of the      
class4  ,yet ,i condemn competition in  
school-work while ,i appreciate         
competition in games4  ,why8  ,i think  
,i should leave it to the children4     

,obviously they like to compete in games
 and races1 but they have no natural    
desire to compete in lessons4  ,it      
appears that some things naturally lend 
themselves to competition--racing1      
boxing1 billiards1 jumping1 football and
 so on4 ,other things do not encourage  
competition4  ,bernard ,shaw and ,g4 ,k4
 ,chesterton do not compete in the      
output of books2 ,freud and ,jung do not
 struggle to publish the record number  
of analysis cases2 ,george ,robey and   
,little ,tich do not appear together on 
the stage of the ,palladium and try to  
prove which is the funnier4  ,rivalry   
there always is1 but it remains only    
rivalry until ,the ,daily ,mail offers a
 prize for the biggest cabbage or       
sweet-pea1 and then competition seizes  
suburbia4  ,i should therefore leave the
 children to discover for themselves    
what interests lend themselves to       
competition1 and what interests do not4 
,i know beforehand that of their own    
accord they will not introduce it into  

school subjects4  ,this is in accord    
with my views on the authority question4
  ,i insist that the teacher will impose
 nothing2 that his task is to watch the 
children find their own solution4       
99      99      99      99      99  ,i  
must write down a wise saying that came 
from ,dauvit4  ,a rambling and          
ill-informed discussion of ,bolshevism  
arose in his shop to-night4 ,dauvit took
 no part in it1 but when we rose to go  
he said3 ,tak' my word for it1          
,bolshevism is wrong4  ,how do you make 
that out1 ,dauvit8 ,i asked4  ,because  
it's a success1 he said shortly4        
99      99      99      99      99      
,to-night the ,rev4 ,mr4 ,smith1 the    
,u4,f4 minister1 came in4  ,he is one of
 the unco' guid1 and to him all         
pleasures are sinful4  ,it happened that
 ,i was telling ,macdonald the ,freudian
 theory of dreams when he entered1 and  
when ,mac told him what the conversation
 had been about1 he begged me to        
continue4  ,it was evident that he had  

never heard of dream interpretation1 and
 he was surprised4  ,and every dream has
 a meaning8 he asked4  ,yes1 ,i said4   
,i had a dream last night1 he began1 but
 ,i held up a warning hand4  ,you       
shouldn't tell your dreams in public1 ,i
 said hastily2 they may give things away
 that you don't want others to know4    
,he laughed4  ,i don't mind that1 he    
said1 ,i'll take the risk4  ,last night 
,i dreamt that ,i was in a public-house 
among a lot of men who were telling most
 obscene stories4  ,according to ,freud 
every dream is the fulfilment of a wish4
  ,do you mean to tell me that ,i wish  
to be in such a company8  ,i explained  
that the dream as told is not the dream 
in reality1 the meaning lies behind the 
symbolism1 and it can be got at by the  
method of free association4  ,i also    
explained that ,i did not believe the   
,freud theory1 that the dream is always 
a wish1 and suggested that ,jung was a  
surer guide4  ,according to ,jung1 ,i   
said1 the dream is often compensatory4  

,in your own case you are consciously   
living the higher life1 but there is    
another side of life that you are       
ignoring1 and that is the vulgar pub    
side4  ,your dream is a hint that the   
vulgar side of life cannot be ignored4  
,you may ignore it consciously1 but your
 unconscious will seek the other side in
 your dreams4  ,this seemed to make him 
think4  ,but the saints and martyrs6 he 
cried4  ,think of the thousands who     
crucified the flesh so that they might  
win the everlasting crown6  ,do you tell
 me that they were all wrong8  ,i lit my
 pipe4  ,i think they were1 ,i said1 for
 they merely repressed their animal     
life4  ,they thought that they had      
conquered it1 but they only buried it4  
,the real saint is the man who faces his
 flesh boldly and loves it too1 just as 
much as he loves his ,god4  ,then the   
minister fled4  ,the interpretation of  
dreams is one of the most fascinating   
studies in the world4  ,the method as   
evolved by ,freud is simple1 although   

the interpretation is anything but      
simple4  ,obviously the average dream   
has no meaning4  ,you dream that a horse
 speaks to you1 and then it turns into  
your brother4  ,it is all nonsense1 yet 
behind the nonsense is a serious        
meaning4  ,not long ago ,i was analysing
 a girl of sixteen4 ,about a week after 
the analysis began she brought a dream  
which began thus3 ,i am invisible1 and  
,i have a tail that ,i can take off or  
put on4  ,following the method of free  
association ,i said to her3 ,what comes 
into your mind about being invisible8   
,oh1 ,i've often wanted to be invisible1
 for then ,i could do what ,i liked2    
then ,i would be free4  ,being invisible
 therefore meant being free4  ,then ,i  
asked her associations to the tail part4
  ,tail 4 4 4 monkeys at the ,zoo2 they 
are poor things always kept behind bars4
  ,just like me4  ,i forgot to say that 
my tail wasn't on in the dream4  ,tail  
therefore meant something associated    
with confinement and restriction4  ,it  

is significant that her tail was        
unattached4  ,i took it to mean a       
wish-fulfilment dream2 in it she got    
free from her neurosis4  ,the following 
night she dreamt that she was being     
driven in a motor car by a swanky       
chauffeur4  ,they came to the bottom of 
a hill1 and the car stopped1 and she got
 out and walked4  ,her first association
 was3 ,the chauffeur had a big green    
coat on1 one just like the coat you     
wear4  ,so ,i was the chauffeur8 ,i     
asked4  ,she brightened at once4  ,i see
 it6 she cried4  ,the car is the        
analysis2 you are driving me away from  
my old life6  ,excellent6 ,i said1 but  
don't forget that the car stopped at the
 bottom of the hill4  ,what does the    
word hill give you8  ,something         
difficult to climb4  ,i hated climbing  
it and thought it a shame that the motor
 didn't take me up4  ,well8  ,i've got  
to climb to get better1 haven't ,i8     
,that's right1 ,i said4  ,i told you the
 other night that no analyst should give

 advice1 and ,i refused when you asked  
me for it4  ,in your unconscious you    
realise that the chauffeur is not going 
to take you up the hill2 in other words 
you've got to do most of the work4      
,freud holds that there is a censor     
standing between the conscious and the  
unconscious4  ,primitive wishes seek to 
come from the unconscious1 but the      
censor holds up his hand4  ,no1 he says1
 that's too disgusting2 the conscious   
mind couldn't stand that2 it would be   
shocked4  ,you must disguise yourself in
 harmless form6  ,and so the infantile  
sex wish is changed into a harmless dog 
or cycle4  ,but if this is the case why 
should my little girl dream of me as a  
chauffeur8 ,there was nothing disgusting
 about me1 nothing that her conscious   
mind could not face4  ,i prefer ,jung's 
theory4  ,he says that we dream in      
symbols because symbolism is the oldest 
language in the world1 and1 as the      
unconscious is primitive it uses this   
language4  ,we all dream of shocking    

things1 and if the endopsychic censor   
were really on duty he would never allow
 these disgusting dreams to get through4
  ,if ,i dream that my father is dead   
the ,freudians declare that ,i either   
wish or1 in the past1 have wished       
unconsciously for my father's death4    
,but surely so alarming a wish would be 
changed into a harmless form if there   
were a censor4  ,one night ,i dreamt    
that an acquaintance1 ,murray1 was dead4
  ,the first association to ,murray was3
 ,he's a lazy sort of chap4  ,i think   
that all he stood for was laziness1 and 
he was merely my own laziness           
symbolised4  ,the dream was a hint to me
 to be up and doing1 for ,i had been    
neglecting a task that ,i should have   
undertaken4  ,there is what might be    
called the cheese-and-tripe supper      
theory of the dream held by many people4
  ,there's nothing in dreams1 they say1 
nothing but the disorders following late
 supper4  ,a cheese-and-tripe supper    
will cause queer dreams1 but the        

advocates of this theory cannot explain 
why a tripe supper should make me dream 
of--say--a tiger4  ,why not a lion or a 
mouse8  ,it is an accepted fact now in  
psychology that the dream is the working
 of the unconscious4  ,some theosophists
 claim that during sleep your spirit    
leaves your body and seeks the astral   
plane1 but ,i have never seen anything  
resembling evidence of this4  ,it may be
 a fact for all that4  ,concerning the  
prophetic aspect of dreams ,i know      
nothing4  ,i have heard that the night  
before the ,tay ,bridge disaster a woman
 dreamt that it was to take place1 and  
she persuaded her husband not to travel 
by that ill-fated train1 but ,i cannot  
vouch for the story4  ,i believe1       
however1 that the dream is prophetic in 
that the unconscious during the night is
 working out the problems of the next   
day4  ,the popular saying about sleeping
 over a problem shows that there is a   
real belief in this aspect4  ,i know a  
lady who was undergoing analysis4  ,she 

was suffering from a father complex1    
that is1 her infantile fixation on the  
father had remained with her1 and       
unconsciously she was approving or      
disapproving of every man she met       
according as he did or did not in some  
way resemble her father4  ,for a few    
weeks after the analysis began she was  
always dreaming that she was back in her
 childhood home1 and in her dreams she  
was always trying to get away from home 
and her father was always restraining   
her from going4  ,often the figure in   
the dream was not the father1 but the   
associations always showed that the     
figure was standing for the father4 ,one
 night the figure was the ,king1 and her
 first association was3 ,the ,king's    
name is ,george4 4 4 4  ,that's father's
 name too4  ,this seems to be a case    
where the unconscious is striving to    
find a solution4  ,the way the          
unconscious does things is wonderful4   
,i remember one night listening to a    
lecture by ,homer ,lane4  ,he brought   

forward a new theory about education1   
and it was so deep that ,i did not quite
 grasp its meaning4  ,at the time ,alan1
 ,homer ,lane's youngest child1 was one 
of the pupils in the school in which ,i 
taught4  ,that night ,i dreamt that ,i  
was standing before a class4  ,alan was 
sitting in the front seat1 and behind   
him was a boy whom in the dream ,i      
called ,homer ,lane's youngest child4   
,the new theory had become in the       
language of symbolism ,alan's younger   
brother 4 4 4 in short1 ,lane's latest4 
,here again ,i cannot see why any censor
 should change a theory into a child4   
99      99      99      99      99 ,in  
my ,log ,i make a very1 very poor       
statement about sex instruction4 ,i say 
that children should be encouraged to   
believe in the stork theory of birth    
until the age of nine4  ,that was a     
wrong belief1 but then at that time ,i  
had not read ,freud or ,bloch or ,moll4 
,i see now that the child should be told
 the truth about sex whenever he asks   

for information4  ,but ,i fear1 that    
many modern mothers think that they have
 sexually educated their child when they
 tell him where babies come from4  ,the 
physiological side of sex is the less   
important2 you can take a child through 
all the usual stages--pollination of    
plants1 fertilisation of eggs1 right up 
to human birth1 but the child will find 
no help in these informations when he   
faces his sex instinct at adolescence4  
,sex instruction should be              
psychological2 it should deal with the  
sex instinct as one form of life force  
or libido4  ,the child should be led to 
face it openly4  ,it should be entirely 
dissociated from sin1 and moral lectures
 should not be given4  ,who is to give  
the instruction8  ,that is the          
difficulty4  ,most parents and teachers 
cannot do it because their own sex      
instinct is all wrong4 ,make a remark   
about sex in the company of adults1 and 
it will be reacted to in two ways2 some 
will grin and laugh2 others will be     

shocked4  ,i hasten to add that the     
shocked ones are worse than the         
laughers4  ,the laugh is a release of   
sex repressions2 the shocked appearance 
is a compensation for an unconscious    
over-interest in sex4 ,anyway neither   
type is capable of talking about sex to 
children1 and since humanity is roughly 
divided into prudes and sinners 7not    
saints and sinners71 there is little    
hope of a frank sex education for       
kiddies4  ,many people say3 ,oh1 leave  
it to the doctors1 but personally ,i    
haven't enough faith in doctors4  ,their
 attitude to sex is usually no better   
than the attitude of the layman4  ,i    
know doctors who could give excellent   
instruction to children on the          
physiology of sex1 but the only doctors 
of my acquaintance who could teach the  
psychological side are psycho-analysts  
or psycho-therapists of some sort4      
,teachers can tackle the sex problem    
negatively4  ,sex activity is a form of 
life force or interest1 and if a child  

is not finding life interesting enough  
there is a danger that he will regress  
to what is called auto-eroticism4  ,when
 we remember that the sexual instinct is
 the creative instinct1 and that        
creation in dancing or music or poetry  
or art of any kind is sublimated sex1   
that is sex raised to a higher power1 we
 can readily see that one of the most   
important parts of a teacher's job is to
 provide ways and means for creation4   
,i realise that this is not enough1 but1
 as ,i say1 ,i cannot see the way to a  
good sex education1 until every teacher 
and parent has discovered his or her own
 sex complexes4  ,co-education helps1   
for then the commingling of the sexes   
affords a harmless and unconscious      
outlet for sex interest4  ,but          
co-education is no panacea1 for the sex 
problems of the individual child in a   
co-educational school are almost as     
immediate as those of the child from the
 segregated school4     ,,ix4  ,this    
morning ,i was setting off for ,dundee  

when ,willie ,marshall entered the      
compartment4  ,he was dressed in his    
,sunday best1 and ,i wondered why he was
 going to ,dundee on a ,wednesday4      
,hullo1 ,willie6 ,i cried1 what's on    
to-day8  ,he looked troubled and angry4 
,i've been summoned to serve on the jury
 that's tryin' that dawmed rat that     
stailt ten pund frae the minister1 he   
said viciously1 and ,i had little need  
to lose a day1 for ,i hae far mair work 
than ,i can dae4 ,mossbank's twa cairts 
cam in yestreen1 and he's swearin' like 
onything that he maun hae them by the   
nicht4  ,willie is a joiner1 and most of
 his work is building and repairing     
carts4  ,so you think that ,nosie ,broon
 is guilty8 ,i said with a smile4  ,of  
coorse he is1 he cried with emphasis4   
,but1 ,i said seriously1 you'll maybe   
alter your mind when you hear the       
evidence4  ,he grunted4  ,dawn nae fear6
  ,i'll show him that he's no to drag me
 awa frae ma work for nothing6  ,he     
opened his ,dundee ,courier1 and ,i sat 

and thought of the trial by jury method4
  ,i would not condemn it on the        
strength of ,willie's dangerous         
misunderstanding of what it means1 but  
,i do condemn it on other grounds4      
,weighing evidence is a difficult enough
 business even for the specialist1 for  
it is almost impossible to eliminate    
emotion in forming a judgment4  ,with a 
jury of citizens1 some of them possibly 
illiterate1 too much depends on the     
advocates1 or on outside causes4        
,during the war there was a glaring     
instance of this4  ,a soldier shot the  
man who had been trying to steal his    
wife's love 4 4 4 and the verdict of the
 jury was ,not ,guilty4  ,the emotional 
factor in this case was that the dead   
man was a ,german4  ,i am not arguing   
that the prisoner should have been      
hanged or imprisoned1 for ,i think both 
procedures are bad2 ,i merely point out 
that in the eyes of legalism the soldier
 was guilty1 yet the jury threw legalism
 overboard4  ,another instance of the   

emotional factor over-ruling legalism is
 seen in the trial of the man who shot  
,jaures4  ,he was acquitted4 4 4 4  ,not
 ,guilty 4 4 4 the man who slew one of  
the best men in ,europe4  ,on the other 
hand the youth who attempted to         
assassinate ,clemenceau was sentenced to
 death1 pardoned1 and sent to penal     
servitude4  ,in ,france therefore it is 
a crime to kill a politician of the     
right1 but a virtue to kill one of the  
,socialist left4  ,abstract justice is a
 figment4  ,no jury and no judge can be 
impartial4 ,the other day a man was     
charged with striking a ,socialist      
orator with an ice-pick4  ,the judge    
lectured the orator on his ,bolshevism1 
and then gave the accused imprisonment  
for a short term in the second division4
 ,suppose that the ,bolshevist had used 
an ice-pick on a ,cabinet ,minister6  ,i
 do not think that our judges and       
magistrates ever consciously show       
partiality4  ,they are an upright class 
of men1 men above suspicion4  ,it is    

their unconscious that shows partiality 
just as mine does4  ,the army colonels  
who tried ,conscientious ,objectors were
 upright men1 but it was wrong to       
imagine that they could possibly see the
 ,c4,o4's point of view4 ,so it was with
 the regular ,r4,a4,m4,c4 doctors4  ,to 
some of them the neurotic patient was a 
swinger of the lead1 a malingerer4      
,they had never heard of the new        
psychiatry1 and the neurotic was a      
strange creature to them4  ,their       
ignorance supplemented their prejudice1 
and they could not possibly have treated
 these men with justice4  ,the truth is 
that we all make up our minds according 
as our buried complexes impel us4  ,if  
,i saw a ,frenchman fighting a ,scot ,i 
should take the ,scot's side1 because ,i
 have a ,scot complex4  ,occasionally   
our complexes work in the opposite way4 
,i fancy that the few people who sided  
with the ,germans in the war were       
suffering from an agin the government   
complex1 which1 if you trace it deep    

enough is usually found to be an        
infantile rebellion against the father4 
,in this case the ,state represented the
 father1 and ,germany was the outside   
helper who should conquer the father 7or
 mother7 country4  ,had ,germany won1   
the unpatriotic man would immediately   
have turned his hate against ,prussia1  
for then ,prussia would have been the   
father substitute4  ,our loves and hates
 and fears are within ourselves4  ,i    
know a man who has a nagging wife2 she  
has a constant wish for new things4  ,he
 bought her a hat1 and for two days she 
was happy2 then she nagged1 and he      
bought her a dress4  ,three days later  
she demanded a necklace1 and he gave her
 a necklace4  ,he may continue giving   
her everything she asks for1 but if he  
buys her a ,rolls ,royce and a house in 
,park ,lane she will be a dissatisfied  
woman1 for the fault1 dear ,brutus1 lies
 not in our stars but in ourselves4  ,i 
advised him to spend his money on having
 her psycho-analysed4        99      99 

99      99      99  ,to-night ,tammas   
,lownie the joiner came into ,dauvit's  
shop4  ,he is an infrequent attender at 
,dauvit's parliament1 and ,dauvit seemed
 slightly surprised at his entry4       
,weel1 ,tammas1 he said1 it's no often  
that we see you here4  ,what's brocht ye
 here the nicht8  ,tammas spat in the   
grate4  ,oh1 it was a fine nicht1 and ,i
 thought ,i'd just tak a daunder yont1  
he said easily4  ,dauvit looked at him  
searchingly4  ,na1 na1 ,tammas1 it winna
 dae6  ,it wasna the fine nicht that    
brocht ye yont4  ,ye've got some news   
,i'm thinkin'4  ,tammas laughed loudly4 
,dauvit1 ye're oncanny6 he cried4  ,ye  
seem to read what's at the back o' a    
man's held4  ,but ,i have nae news to   
gie ye4  ,dauvit chuckled4  ,i wudna    
wonder if ye didna come yont to tell me 
aboot the eldership1 he said slowly4    
,the expression on ,tammas's face showed
 that he had come to tell us that the   
minister had asked him to become an     
elder4  ',od1 ,dauvit1 noo that ye come 

to mention it ,i wud like to hear yer   
advice aboot the matter4  ,i dinna see  
how ,i can tak an eldership1 ,dauvit4   
,how no8 asked ,dauvit in surprise4     
,then he added3 ,but maybe ye ken       
whether ye've got a sinfu' heart or no4 
,it's no that1 said ,tammas hastily1    
,i'm nae worse than some other elders ,i
 ken1 and he glanced at ,jake ,tosh4    
,no1 it's no the sin ,i'm thinkin' o'2  
it's my trade4  ,but1 ,i put in1 why    
shouldn't a joiner be an elder8  ,tammas
 bit off a chunk of ,bogie ,roll4  ,that
 may as may be1 dominie1 but ,i'm mair  
than a joiner2 ,i'm an undertakker4     
,weel1 said ,dauvit1 what aboot that8   
,tammas shook his head sadly4  ,an      
undertakker canna be an elder1 ,dauvit4 
,suppose the minister was awa preachin' 
or at the ,assembly1 and ane o' his     
congregation was deein'1 me as an elder 
micht hae to ging to the bedside and    
offer up a bit prayer4  ,there's nothing
 in that1 said ,jake proudly2 ,i've     
offered up a bit prayer afore noo when  

the minister was awa4  ,aye1 ,jake1 said
 ,tammas1 but ye see you're a roadman4  
,but an undertakker is a different      
matter4  ,goad1 lads1 ,i canna gie a man
 a bit prayer at sax o'clock and syne   
measure him for his coffin at acht4     
,that wud look like mixin' religion wi' 
business4  ,the assembly thought over   
this aspect4  ,all the same1 said the   
smith1 ,dr4 ,hall is an elder1 and      
naebody ever thinks o' accusin' him o'  
mixin' religion wi' his business4  ,we  
all considered this statement4  ,tammas1
 said ,dauvit1 if ye want to be an elder
 tak it1 and never mind the             
undertakkin'4  ,but if ever ye have to  
gie a prayer just get ,jake here to tak 
on the job4  ,he began to laugh here4   
,i mind o' ,jeemie ,ritchie when he got 
his eldership4  ,the minister gaed awa  
to the ,assembly in ,edinbro1 and as it 
happened auld ,jess ,tosh was deein'1 so
 ,jeemie was asked to come up and gie   
her a prayer4  ,jeemie was in my shop   
when the lassie ,tosh cam for him1 and  

,i never saw a man in sic a state4      
',dauvit1' he cries1 ',i canna dae it6  
,i never offered up a prayer in my      
life6'  ',hoots1 ,jeemie1' says ,i1     
'it's easy2 just bring in a few bitties 
frae the ,bible4'  ,auld ,jeemie he     
scarted his heid4  ',man1 ,dauvit1' says
 he1 ',i cudna say twa words o' the     
,bible4'  ,weel-a-weel1 ,i had to shove 
him oot o' the shop1 and ,i tell ye1    
boys1 he was shakin' like a             
shakky-trummly4  ,weel1 in aboot        
half-an-hour ,jeemie cam back1 and he   
was smilin' like onything4  ',hoo did ye
 get on8' ,i speered4  ',graund6' he    
cried1 '4 4 4 she was deid afore ,i got 
there6'        99      99      99       
99      99  ,when ,i published my ,log a
 correspondent wrote accusing me of     
being disloyal to my colleagues in the  
teaching profession4  ,where is your    
professional etiquette8 he wrote4  ,i   
had lots of letters from teachers1 some 
flattering1 some not4  ,one man wrote me
 from ,croydon3--  ,dear ,sir1--,are you

 a fool or merely a silly ass8  ,both1  
,i replied1 else ,i should not have paid
 #b;d4 for your letter4  ,in haste the  
poor man hastened to forward two penny  
stamps1 and to apologise for not having 
stamped the letter he sent me4  ,i      
really thought that ,i had stamped it1  
he wrote4  ,then ,i wrote him a nice    
letter telling him that the mistake was 
mine1 for his first letter had had a    
stamp on it after all4  ,he never       
replied to that1 and ,i suppose that now
 he goes about telling his friends that 
,i am a fool1 a silly ass1 and a typical
 ,scot4  ,authors hear queer things     
about themselves4  ,the other day a     
friend of mine asked for my ,log in a   
,west ,end library4  ,as the librarian  
handed over the book she shook her head 
sadly4  ,isn't it sad about the man who 
wrote that book8 she said4  ,my friend  
was startled4  ,sad6  ,what do you mean8
  ,oh1 haven't you heard8 asked the     
librarian in surprise2 he's a confirmed 
drunkard now4  ,impossible6 cried my    

friend1 with whisky at ten and six a    
bottle6  ,but ,i meant to write about   
colleagues4  ,one day a class was       
holding a self-government meeting1 and  
they sent for me4  ,i was annoyed       
because ,i was having my after-dinner   
smoke in the staff-room4  ,however ,i   
went up4  ,hullo6 ,i said as ,i entered1
 what do you want8  ,eglantine the      
chairman said3 ,a member of this class  
has insulted you4  ,impossible6 ,i      
cried4  ,then ,mary got up4  ,i did1 she
 blurted out nervously2 ,i said you were
 just a silly ass4  ,that's all right6  
,i said cheerfully1 ,i am1 and ,i made  
for the door4 ,then the class got       
excited4  ,aren't you going to do       
anything8 asked ,ian in surprise4  ,good
 ,lord1 no6 ,i cried4  ,why should ,i8  
,you're on the staff1 said ,ian4  ,look 
here1 ,i said impatiently1 ,i hereby    
authorise the crowd of you to call me   
any name you like4  ,the class became   
indignant4  ,you can't criticise the    
staff1 said one4  ,why not8 ,i asked1   

and they looked at each other in alarm4 
,this was carrying self-government too  
far4  ,suddenly ,mary jumped up4  ,then 
if we can criticise the staff here goes6
  ,i accuse ,miss ,brown of favouritism4
  ,it was a bombshell4  ,everyone jumped
 up1 and some cried3 ,shame6 ,withdraw6 
,the chairman appealed to me4  ,i have  
nothing to do with it1 ,i protested4    
,then bitter words flew4  ,they told me 
that ,i1 as a member of the staff1      
should squash ,mary4  ,voices became    
louder1 but then the bell rang and the  
class had to go to its own class-room to
 work4  ,my colleagues when they heard  
the story agreed with the children2 they
 held that ,i acted wrongly in listening
 to an accusation against a colleague4  
,my argument was that ,i was a guest at 
a meeting2 ,i had no vote1 nor would ,i 
have interfered had ,i been a member of 
the meeting4 ,i was quite sure that if  
the bell had not broken up the meeting  
somebody would have made the discovery  
that ,miss ,brown was the proper person 

to make the accusation to4  ,when they  
thought that ,mary insulted me they sent
 for me1 and ,i fully expected they     
would send for ,miss ,brown4  ,again ,i 
argued that if ,miss ,brown had         
favourites the class had a right to     
criticise her4  ,if she had no          
favourites let her arraign the class    
before a meeting of the whole school and
 accuse them of libel4  ,looking back ,i
 still think my attitude was right1 for 
unless the staff can lay aside all      
dignity and become members of the gang  
education is not free4  ,yet ,i see now 
that ,i was secretly exulting in the    
discomfiture of a colleague 4 4 4 a     
common human failing which none of us   
care to recognise in ourselves4  ,it is 
a sad fact but a true one that however  
much ,dr4 ,a4 protests when a patient   
tells him that ,dr4 ,b4 is a clumsy     
fool1 unconsciously at least ,dr4 ,a4 is
 gratified at the criticism of his      
rival4  ,psycho-analysts1 that is people
 who are supposed to know the contents  

of their unconscious1 are just as guilty
 in this respect as other doctors1 and  
if anyone doubts this let him ask a     
,freudian what he thinks of the ,jungian
 in the next street4  ,my earliest      
memory of professional jealousy goes    
back to the age of seven4  ,i lived next
 door to a dentist1 a real qualified    
,l4,d4,s4  ,across the street lived a   
quack dental surgeon4  ,when trade was  
dull these two used to come to their    
respective doors and converse with each 
other in the good old simple way of     
putting the fingers to the nose4  ,they 
never spoke to each other4  ,life in a  
northern town was simple in these days4 
99      99      99      99      99      
,helen ,macdonald is four years old1 and
 her mother and ,i have some breezy     
discussions about her upbringing4  ,mrs4
 ,mac has a great admiration for her own
 mother1 and she is bent on bringing up 
her daughter in the way that she was    
brought up4  ,mother made me obey and   
,i'll make ,helen obey1 she said to-day 

with decision4  ,it's dangerous1 ,i     
said4  ,no it isn't2 it worked well     
enough in my case anyway4  ,don't blow  
your own trumpet1 madam6  ,she smiled4  
,i don't think ,i am a bad product of   
the good old way1 she said with a       
self-satisfied air4  ,madam1 shall ,i   
tell you the truth about yourself8  ,she
 bubbled and drew her chair closer to   
mine4  ,do6 she cried1 and then added3  
,but ,i won't believe the nasty bits4   
,mac chuckled4  ,to begin with1 ,i said 
pompously1 you are an awful example of a
 bad education4  ,she bowed mockingly   
and ,mac guffawed4  ,he is a wee bit    
afraid of his wife and he marvels at my 
courage in ragging her4  ,you1 ,i       
continued1 were made to obey as a child1
 and as a result you became dependent on
 your mother4  ,in short you are your   
own mother4  ,don't be silly1 she said  
with a frown2 ,i want your serious      
opinion4  ,and you are getting it1 ,i   
replied4  ,because you had to obey you  
never lived your own life1 and naturally

 you never had a mind of your own4  ,to 
this day you act as your mother acted4  
,she made her daughter obey2 you follow 
her example2 she made scones in such and
 such a way2 you make scones in exactly 
the same way4  ,that's right6 laughed   
,mac4  ,mrs4 ,mac looked thoughtful4    
,anyway1 she said quickly1 they are     
excellent scones4  ,most excellent      
scones1 ,i hastened to add1 but my point
 is that if we all follow our parents   
there will be no progress4  ,progress   
will never bring better scones1 said    
,mac and he patted his wife's cheek4    
,mac1 ,i said gallantly1 your wife has  
brought scones to their perfect and     
utmost evolution4  ,she has made the    
super-scone4  ,only1 ,helen isn't a     
scone you know4  ,at this point ,helen  
was found trying to pull the marble     
clock down from the mantlepiece4  ,her  
mother rescued the clock as it was      
falling1 and she scolded the fair       
,helen4  ,you are all theory1 she cried 
to me4  ,what would you do in a case    

like this8  ,same as you did1 ,i        
answered hastily1 and then added3 ,only 
,i would try to give her so many        
interesting things to play with that    
she'd forget to want the clock4  ,then  
,mrs4 ,mac indignantly dragged out      
,helen's toys from a cupboard4  ,dozens 
of them6 she cried1 and she is tired of 
every one4  ,then ,i discoursed on toys4
  ,the toys of the world are nearly all 
bad4 ,helen has a beautiful sleeping    
doll that cost five pounds2 rather ,i   
should say that ,helen had a beautiful  
sleeping doll that cost five pounds4    
,on the one occasion that ,helen was    
allowed to play with it she made a      
careful attempt to open the head with a 
pair of scissors to see what made the   
eyes close and open4  ,then her mother  
put the doll in a box1 packed the box in
 a trunk1 and explained to ,helen that  
the doll was to lie in that trunk until 
,helen had a little baby girl of her    
own4  ,i explained to ,mrs4 ,mac that   
the toy a child needs is one that will  

take to pieces4  ,every toy should be a 
mine of discovery4  ,the only good toys 
that ,i know of are ,meccano and        
,primus1 but there is much need for     
constructive toys for younger children4 
,mac1 ,i said1 if you were even a       
passably good husband you would be      
making ,montessori apparatus for your   
offspring4  ,we have many arguments like
 this4  ,mrs4 ,mac's problem is that of 
a million mothers2 she has to fit the   
child into an adult environment4        
,yesterday she was painting in oils4    
,the baker whistled outside and she ran 
out to get the bread4  ,on her return   
she found that ,helen was busily        
painting the pink wall-paper a prussian 
blue4  ,wealthy mothers solve the       
problem by employing nurses1 but the    
solution is a poor one4  ,few nurses    
know enough about children1 and many do 
positive harm by frightening the child4 
,nor can the hired nurse give the       
infinite amount of love that a child    
demands4  ,if she could it is probable  

that she would be sacked1 for no mother 
likes to see her child lavish his love  
on another4  ,on more than one occasion 
,i have discovered that the parents of  
children who loved me were hostile to   
me4  ,that is natural4  ,if a father is 
continually hearing his daughter say3   
,mr4 ,neill says this2 ,mr4 ,neill says 
that1 ,i have every sympathy with him   
when he growls3 ,damn this ,neill       
blighter6  ,on the other hand ,i have no
 sympathy with him if he expects me to  
ask his little ,ada how her dear        
charming papa is4        99      99     
99      99      99  ,a book of ten      
volumes might well be written on the    
subject of parents and teachers4  ,if a 
teacher were the author no publisher    
would look at it1 for the language would
 be unprintable4  ,to the teacher the   
parent is an enemy4  ,when ,mrs4 ,brown 
comes to school she and the dominie chat
 pleasantly about the weather1 while the
 children look on and marvel4  ,little  
,willie is amazed to see his mother     

smile as she talks1 for it was only last
 night that he heard her say3 ,that ,mr4
 ,smith is by no means a gentleman4     
,did you see his nails8 ,poor little    
,willie does not know that his mother   
and the dominie are using fair smiles to
 cover a real hostility4  ,mrs4 ,brown  
will talk agreeably all through her     
visit1 but as she is shaking hands on   
the doorstep she will say1 ,oh1 by the  
way1 ,mr4 ,smith1 ,willie came home last
 night saying that he wasn't allowed to 
play hockey yesterday4  ,i want him to  
play every ,wednesday4  ,but1 says ,mr4 
,smith deferentially1 ,i--er--well1     
,wednesday is the day when the ,seniors 
play1 and--er--since ,willie is a       
,junior ,i--er--,i--  ,oh1 thank you so 
much1 she gushes1 ,i knew that you would
 arrange that he will play on           
,wednesdays1 and she sails away4  ,or   
perhaps ,mrs4 ,brown will put it on to  
her husband4  ,the way things are done  
at that school are disgraceful1 ,tom4   
,you must go and see ,smith and insist  

that the boy has his hockey4  ,well1 the
 poor father comes up to school1 and he 
and the dominie discuss the weather and 
,lloyd ,george4  ,all the time ,brown is
 trying to muster up enough courage to  
tackle the hockey question4  ,er1 he    
begins after clearing his throat1 my    
wife was saying something               
about--er--what a splendid view you have
 from here6  ,first rate1 nods the      
dominie4  ,your wife was saying8        
,er--something about hockey4  ,he       
coughs4  ,splendid game6  ,i--er--,i    
must go 4 4 4 er--good-bye4  ,no mere   
man can badger a dominie4  ,from the    
parent's point of view a teacher is a   
rival when he isn't a sort of           
under-gardener4  ,the parent would never
 think of arguing with the doctor when  
he says that ,willie has measles2 the   
doctor is a specialist in disease1 and  
the parent is not4  ,but it is different
 with the dominie4  ,he is a specialist 
in education1 but then so is the parent4
  ,that is possibly one of the reasons  

that the teaching profession is such a  
low-class one1 for a teacher is merely a
 specialist in a world of specialists4  
,everybody knows how a child ought to be
 brought up4  ,in justice to parents ,i 
must confess that there are only two    
teachers in ,britain to whom ,i should  
trust the education of any child of     
mine4  ,most teachers are               
instructionists only1 and the parent has
 some ground for suspicion4     ,x4     
,duncan was talking about awkward       
moments to-night1 and he told of the    
shock he got when he joined the army and
 found that the sergeant of his squad   
was an old pupil of his4  ,i think ,i   
can beat that1 ,duncan1 ,i said1 and    
told him the story of an army lecture4  
,i had a commission in the ,r4,g4,a4 for
 a short time1 and one morning ,i had to
 give a lecture to the men of the       
battery on lines of fire4  ,they were   
mostly miners1 and ,i tried to make the 
lecture as simple as possible4  ,i began
 with the definition of an angle and    

went on to circular measurement4  ,i    
noticed that one man stared at the      
blackboard in bewilderment1 a very      
stupid looking fellow he was4  ,when the
 lecture was over ,i approached him4  ,i
 don't think you understood what ,i was 
trying to tell you1 ,i said4  ,i did    
have some difficulty in following it1   
sir1 he said4  ,h'm6  ,what were you in 
civil life8  ,mathematical master in a  
secondary school1 sir4  ,i could not    
rise to the occasion4  ,i fled to the   
mess and ordered a brandy and soda4     
,speaking about rising to the occasion  
brings to my mind another army incident 
in which ,i did not shine4  ,i was a    
recruit in the infantry1 and a gym      
sergeant was putting us through physical
 jerks4  ,he told us the familiar tale  
that although we had broken our mothers'
 hearts we wouldn't break his2 in short 
he put the wind up us4  ,i got very     
nervous4  ,right turn6 he roared1 and ,i
 thought he said ,right about turn4  ,he
 told the squad to stand easy1 and then 

he eyed me curiously4  ,you6  ,big      
fellow6  ,take that smile off your face6
  ,i don't know why he said that for ,i 
couldn't have smiled at that moment for 
anything less than my ticket4  ,he      
studied me carefully for a bit1 then    
enlightenment seemed to dawn on him4  ,i
 got it6 he exclaimed triumphantly4  ,i 
know wot's wrong with you6  ,you've got 
a stupid face2 you can't think2 you     
never thought in yer life4  ,i looked on
 the ground4  ,did yer ever think in yer
 life8  ,no1 sergeant1 ,i said humbly4  
,i blinkin' well thought so6 he said and
 moved away4  ,then the worm turned4    
,who was he that he should bully a      
scholar and a gentleman8  ,i would lower
 him to the dust4  ,sergeant6  ,he      
turned quickly4  ,wot d'ye want8 and he 
tried to freeze me with his look4  ,it  
isn't my fault ,i can't think1 sergeant2
 ,i was unfortunate enough to spend five
 years at a university4  ,his mouth     
gaped1 and his eyes stared1 but only for
 a moment4  ,then he rose to the        

occasion4  ,i blinkin' well thought so6 
he cried4  ,squad6 4 4 4 4  ,tshun6     
99      99      99      99      99  ,it 
is ,sunday night1 and ,i have just been 
to town4  ,at the ,cross ,i stood and   
listened to a revivalist bellowing from 
a soap-box4  ,his message was ,salvation
 but ,i was more interested in the man  
than his message4 ,consciously he is out
 to save sinners1 but ,i suspect that   
unconsciously he is out to draw         
attention to himself4  ,i do not blame  
him4  ,i do the same thing when ,i      
publish a book2 ,lloyd ,george and      
,george ,robey and the revivalist and ,i
 are all striving each in his little    
corner to draw attention to ourselves4  
,the exhibition impulse is in every     
child4  ,a child loves to run about     
naked1 but then society in the form of  
the mother steps in and says3 ,you must 
not do that6  ,but we know that every   
wish lives on in the depths of the mind1
 and the childish wish to exhibit the   
body appears in later years as a desire 

to preach or sing or act or lecture4    
,this is the psychology of the          
testimonials for liver pills which      
appear in every local paper4  ,it is the
 psychology of much crime4  ,many a slum
 youth glories in having been birched1  
simply because his gang looks on him as 
a hero4  ,i hasten to state that        
exhibitionism alone does not make a     
,cabinet ,minister or a comedian4       
,there are other motives from infancy1  
an important one being the desire for   
power4  ,i recall that as a boy ,i      
delighted in following a drove of cattle
 and smiting the poor creatures hard    
with a cudgel4  ,freud would say that in
 this way ,i was releasing sex energy1  
but ,i think that the infantile sense of
 power was at the root of my cruelty2   
here was ,i1 a wee boy1 controlling a   
big heavy stot4  ,it is love of power   
that makes little boys want to be       
engine-drivers4  ,to the teacher this   
love of power is the most vital thing in
 a child's make-up4  ,discipline thwarts

 the boy at every turn1 and our adult   
authority is fatally injuring the boy's 
character4  ,our task is to provide the 
child with opportunity to wield his     
power4  ,we suppress it and the lad     
shows his power in destructive instead  
of constructive activities4  ,i find    
that ,i keep returning to this subject  
of suppression1 but it is the most      
important evil in education4  ,it does  
not matter how perfect a teacher makes  
his instruction in arithmetic2 if he has
 not come to see that suppression of a  
child is a tragedy1 his instruction is  
of no value4  ,from an examination point
 of view1 yes2 from a spiritual point of
 view1 no4        99      99      99    
99      99  ,parents and teachers fail  
because they cannot see the world as the
 child sees it4  ,the child of three is 
a frank egoist4  ,he cares for no one   
but himself1 and the world is his4      
,anger him and he would have you drawn  
and quartered if he had the power4  ,his
 instincts prompt him to master his     

environment1 and to begin with1 when he 
is a few weeks old1 his environment and 
his own person are indistinguishable4   
,homer ,lane gives a delightful         
description of the child's first efforts
 and how they are frustrated by ignorant
 adults4  ,at a very early age the child
 becomes aware through various processes
 that his own hand which he has seen    
moving across his line of vision is a   
part of himself1 and that he can move it
 himself4  ,he has discovered power4    
,he then enters upon his career4  ,the  
same motive that will govern his        
behaviour for the rest of his life comes
 into operation1 and he wants to use    
this new-found power for some purpose   
that will increase his enjoyment of     
life4  ,up to this time he has had only 
one pleasure1 and that was to do with   
the commissariat4  ,having discovered   
power over his fist he therefore wants  
to put it in his mouth 4 4 4 a difficult
 task requiring much practice and       
patient perseverance4  ,as he goes on   

working he learns that his power        
increases with effort1 and now his      
motive is modified4  ,at first it was   
purely materialistic2 he wanted to have 
his fist in his mouth4  ,now he wants to
 put it there4 ,his interest is in doing
 the thing rather than in having it4    
,this is the spiritual element in his   
present desire1 and now comes the first 
mistake in education4  ,the mother1     
analysing the behaviour of the child1   
has noticed his complaint at the        
difficulty of the task as fatigue sets  
in1 and1 misunderstanding the motive of 
the child she helps him to put his fist 
in his mouth4  ,but that is just what   
the child did not want1 and he protests 
violently against this interference with
 his purpose in life4  ,the mother again
 makes a false analysis of the          
situation1 and concludes that his       
protest is the result of his            
disappointment that there is no         
nourishment in the fist4  ,she then     
gives him food or paregoric1 whatever   

may be her method of dealing with the   
spiritual unrest of her child1 and thus 
drugs his creative faculties4  ,i have  
said that the infant is an egoist4  ,if 
his egoism is allowed full scope he will
 enter upon the next stage of life1 the 
self-assertive stage1 with a huge       
capacity for being altruistic4  ,this   
stage comes on about the age of six or  
seven4  ,but if the child has had       
parents who believe in moulding         
character he will have had many severe  
lectures about his selfishness4  ,these 
lectures will not have cured his        
selfishness2 they will have driven it   
underground for the moment4  ,the       
selfishness of adults is one result of  
the moral lecture in childhood1 for no  
wish or emotion will remain buried for  
ever4  ,the age of self-assertion is the
 rowdy age1 and naturally it is now that
 father uses his authority4  ,the child 
is still ego-centric1 but in a different
 way4  ,at the age of three he was the  
king of the world2 at the age of seven  

he is the king of the other boys who    
play with him4 ,he is now reckoning with
 society1 and he uses society as a      
background against which he may play the
 hero4  ,thus be bleeds ,jack's nose for
 no reason in the world other than that 
he thus asserts himself4  ,if he plays  
horses with the boy next door he insists
 upon being the driver4  ,it is at this 
period that he should be free from      
authority4  ,if authority in the shape  
of father or teacher or policeman steps 
in to suppress his self-assertion the   
boy becomes an enemy of all authority   
and very often anti-social4  ,the rebel 
in the ,socialist camp is a good        
specimen of the man whose self-assertive
 period was injured by authority1 and ,i
 suspect that the truculent drunk is    
letting off the steam that he should    
have let off at the age of eight4  ,the 
third stage in the evolution of a child 
is the adolescent stage4 ,for the first 
time the boy becomes a unit in society4 
,hitherto he has played for his own     

hand2 his games have been games in which
 personal prowess was the desired aim4  
,now he feels that he is one of a team4 
,even before puberty the team-forming   
impulse is seen2 ,putter1 for instance1 
in ,the ,boy and his ,gang1 gives ten to
 sixteen as the gang age4  ,these       
divisions are purely arbitrary1 and     
children differ much in evolution4  ,the
 teacher1 however1 should have a general
 knowledge of these three phases4  ,i   
have often seen a school prescribe      
cricket or hockey for boys who are still
 in the self-assertive stage4  ,the     
result was that1 having no team impulse1
 each boy had no further interest in the
 game when the umpire shouted3 ,out6  ,i
 used to umpire for boys and girls of   
eight to eleven1 and it was a tiresome  
business4  ,quite often when a boy had  
been bowled with the first ball1 he     
would throw down the bat in disgust and 
refuse to give the other side an        
innings4  ,there was nothing wrong with 
the children2 what was wrong was that a 

team phase game was being forced on a   
self-assertive phase group4        99   
99      99      99      99  ,duncan and 
two other dominies were in to-night and 
we got on to golf yarns4  ,i remarked   
that there were very few good ones1 and 
they all trotted out their favourites4  
,i liked ,duncan's best4  ,an oldish man
 was ploughing his way to the tenth hole
 at ,st4 ,andrews1 and1 when he         
ultimately holed out in nineteen1 he    
turned to his caddie4  ,caddie1 he cried
 in disgust1 this is the worst game ,i  
ever played4  ,the caddie stared at him 
open-mouthed4  ,so ye have played afore1
 have ye8 he gasped in amazement4  ,why 
are there no cricket or football        
stories1 ,i wonder8  ,possibly because  
they are team games2 a team is a crowd1 
and ,i never heard of a joke against a  
crowd4  ,a crowd is an impersonal thing1
 and no one can joke about an impersonal
 thing4  ,i never heard of a joke about 
the moon or a turnip4  ,yet are there   
not jokes against a nation1 and a nation

 is a crowd8  ,take the joke about the  
,scot who was brought up at ,bow ,street
 for being drunk and disorderly4  ,the  
magistrate1 before passing sentence1    
asked the accused if he had anything to 
say for himself4  ,weel1 ma lord1 it was
 like this4  ,i travelled frae ,glesga  
to ,london yesterday1 and ,i got into   
bad company in the train4  ,bad company8
  ,aye1 ma lord4  ,when ,i got into the 
train at ,glesga ,central ,i had twa    
bottles o' whuskey in my bag1 and 4 4 4 
a' the other men in my compartment was  
teetotal4  ,that looks like a joke      
against a long-suffering race1 but is it
 so in reality8  ,make the traveller an 
',oodersfield' man on his way to see the
 ,cup-tie ,final at ,chelsea1 and it is 
not changed in essence4  ,only it has   
become a convention that the ,scot is a 
hard drinker4  ,it is the personal touch
 that makes the joke1 and it is the     
individual that we laugh at4  ,i presume
 that the typical joke about ,scots'    
meanness appeals to ,englishmen because 

,englishmen are mean themselves4  ,no   
joke appeals to a man unless it releases
 some repressed wish of his own4  ,no   
one expects a devout ,roman ,catholic to
 see the point of a joke about extreme  
unction4  ,the professional comedian to 
be a success must know what the crowd   
repressions are4  ,dickens is a great   
humorist because he knew by intuition   
what the crowd would laugh at4  ,and    
that brings me to the subject of human  
types4  ,broadly speaking there are two 
types of man4  ,one is called an        
extrovert 7,latin1 to turn outwards72 he
 identifies himself with the crowd1 and 
he lives the life of the crowd4  ,lloyd 
,george and ,horatio ,bottomley are     
typical extroverts2 they seem to know   
instinctively what the crowd is         
thinking1 and unconsciously they speak  
and act as the crowd wants them to speak
 and act4  ,dickens was another1 and    
that is why he has so universal an      
appeal4  ,the other type1 the introvert 
type1 turns inward4  ,they do not       

identify themselves with the crowd4     
,what the public wants does not concern 
them2 they give the crowd what they     
think it ought to want4  ,this class    
includes the thinkers1 the men who are  
in advance of their time4  ,an introvert
 is never popular with the crowd because
 the crowd never understands him4  ,he  
can never get away from himself1 and he 
sums up events according to the personal
 effect they have on himself4  ,yet to  
the unconscious of the introvert crowd  
opinion is of the greatest importance4  
,in the realm of humour the extrovert is
 a success2 what amuses him amuses the  
crowds4  ,but the introvert laughs      
alone1 and in some cases he decides that
 the crowd has no sense of humour1 and  
he becomes a cynic4  ,it is necessary   
that the teacher should be able to      
recognise the different types4  ,the    
extrovert is popular2 he it is who leads
 the gang4  ,doubts and fears do not    
trouble him2 life is pleasant and he    
laughs his way through it4  ,but the    

introvert is the boy who stands apart in
 a corner of the playground2 he is timid
 and fears the rough and tumble of team 
games4  ,he feels inferior and he turns 
in upon himself to find superiority4    
,thus he will day-dream of situations in
 which he is a hero like ,david         
,copperfield when he stood at ,dora's   
garden gate and saw himself rescuing her
 from the burning house4  ,i think that 
the job of the teacher is to help each  
type to a position midway between       
introversion and extroversion4  ,the boy
 who lives in the crowd might well be   
tempted to take more interest in his own
 individuality1 and the introvert might 
well be encouraged to project his       
emotions outward4        99      99     
99      99      99  ,to-night ,mac told 
me a story about old ,simpson the       
dominie over at ,pikerton4  ,last summer
 an ,english bishop was touring         
,scotland1 and one morning he drove up  
to ,simpson's school in a big car1 flung
 open the door and walked in4  ,good    

morning1 children1 he cried4  ,the      
bairns sat gazing at him in awe4  ,he   
turned to ,simpson4  ,my good sir1 he   
protested1 when ,i enter a village      
school in ,england1 the children all    
rise and say3 ',good morning1 sir'6     
,possibly1 said ,simpson dryly1 but in  
,scotland children are not accustomed to
 see strangers walk into a school4      
,scots visitors always knock at the door
 and await the headmaster's invitation  
to enter4        99      99      99     
99      99  ,mac and ,i were talking    
about education to-night4  ,i never     
heard you mention the teaching side of  
education1 he remarked4  ,giving a child
 freedom isn't enough1 you know4  ,what 
about ,history and ,geography and so on8
  ,i think they are jolly well taught in
 many schools1 ,mac1 ,i said4  ,it is   
the psychological side of education that
 is a thousand years behind the times4  
,yes1 said ,mac doubtfully1 but suppose 
you have a school of your own1 ,i       
presume you'd teach the ,english        

yourself8  ,i nodded4  ,how would you do
 it8  ,i thought for a while4  ,i'd     
reverse the usual process1 ,mac1 ,i     
said4  ,usually the teacher begins with 
,chaucer and works forward to ,dickens2 
,i would begin with ,comic ,cuts and    
,dead-wood ,dick and work back to       
,chaucer4  ,oh1 do be serious for once1 
he said impatiently4  ,i am quite       
serious1 ,mac1 ,i said4  ,the only thing
 that matters in school work is         
interest1 and ,i know from experience   
that the child is interested in ,comic  
,cuts but not in the ,canterbury ,tales4
  ,my job is to encourage the boy's     
interest in ,comic ,cuts4  ,i ignored   
,macdonald's reference to idiocy1 and   
went on4  ,you see1 ,mac1 what you do is
 this3 you see a boy reading ,dead-wood 
,dick1 and you take his paper away from 
him and possibly whack the little chap  
for wasting his time4  ,but you don't   
kill his interest in penny dreadfuls1   
and the result is that in later years he
 reads the ,sunday paper that supplies  

the most lurid details of murders and   
outrages4  ,my way is to encourage the  
lad to devour tales of blood and thunder
 so that in a short time blood and      
thunder have no more interest for him4  
,the reason why most of the literature  
published to-day is tripe is that the   
public likes tripe1 and it likes tripe  
because its infantile interest in tripe 
was suppressed in favour of ,chaucer and
 ,shakespeare4  ,but1 cried ,mac1 isn't 
,shakespeare better for him than tripe8 
,yes and no4  ,if every poet were a     
,shakespeare the world would be a dull  
place2 you need the tripe to form a     
contrast4  ,the best way to enjoy the   
quintessence of roses1 ,mac1 is to take 
a walk through the dung-heaps first4    
,what books would you advise your pupils
 to read8 asked ,mac4  ,in their proper 
sequence 4 4 4  ,comic ,cuts1 ,deadwood 
,dick1 ,john ,bull1 ,answers1 ,pearson's
 ,weekly1 ,boy's ,own ,paper1 ,scout1   
,treasure ,island1 ,king ,solomon's     
,mines1 ,white ,fang1 ,the ,call of the 

,wild1 ,the ,invisible ,man1 practically
 anything of ,jack ,london1 ,rider      
,haggard1 ,conan ,doyle1 ,kipling4  ,and
 serious literature8  ,all literature is
 serious1 ,mac4  ,i mean ,dr4 ,johnson1 
,swift1 ,bunyan1 ,milton1 ,dryden1 and  
that lot1 said ,mac4  ,i smiled4  ,mac1 
,i want you to answer this question3    
have you read ,boswell's ,life of       
,johnson8  ,extracts1 he admitted       
awkwardly4  ,bunyan's ,life and ,death  
of ,mr4 ,badman8  ,no4  ,milton's       
,areopagitica8  ,er--no4  ,swift's ,tale
 of a ,tub8  ,no4  ,i sighed4  ,would   
you like to read them8 ,i asked4  ,i    
don't think they would interest me1 he  
admitted4  ,then in heaven's name1 why  
expect children to have any interest in 
them8  ,if these classics weren't shoved
 down children's throats the adult      
population of this country would be     
sitting of an evening reading and       
enjoying ,milton instead of ,john ,bull4
  ,mac would not have this4  ,children  
must read the classics so that they may 

get a good style1 he said4  ,style be   
blowed6 ,i cried4  ,the only way to get 
a style is by writing4  ,mac1 ,i should 
cut out all the lectures about ,chaucer 
and ,spenser and ,shakespeare1 and let  
the children write during the ,english  
period 4 4 4 if ,i had periods1 which ,i
 wouldn't4  ,i don't want style from    
kiddies2 ,i want to see them create in  
their own way4  ,if they are free to    
create they will form their own style4  
,in a conversation one always has a     
tendency to overstate a case1 and as the
 argument went on ,i found myself saying
 wild things4  ,writing calmly now ,i   
still hold to my attitude concerning    
style4  ,i love a book written in fine  
style1 but ,i refuse to impose style on 
children4  ,in every child there is a   
gigantic protest4  ,thus the son of     
praying parents often turns out to be a 
scoffer4  ,i had a good instance of the 
danger of superimposition of style4  ,i 
had a class of boys and girls of        
fifteen1 sixteen1 and seventeen years of

 age4  ,for one period a week we all    
wrote five minute essays1 and then we   
read them out4  ,sometimes we would make
 criticisms2 for instance one girl used 
the word beastly in a serious essay1 and
 we all protested against it4  ,then one
 day the head-master decided that they  
should write essays for him4  ,he set a 
serious subject--,the ,function of      
,authority1 ,i think it was--and then he
 went over their books with a blue      
pencil and corrected their spelling and 
style4  ,three days later my ,english   
period came round4  ,i entered the room 
and found the class sitting round the   
fire4  ,hullo6 ,i said1 aren't you going
 to write8  ,no1 growled the class4     
,why not8  ,fed up with writing4  ,we   
want to talk about economics or         
psychology4  ,a fortnight later they    
made an attempt to write short essays1  
but it was a miserable failure2 all the 
joy in creation had been killed by that 
blue pencil4  ,i can give an example of 
the other way1 the only way4  ,one boy  

of fifteen hated writing essays1 and    
when ,i began the five minute essay game
 he sat and read a book4  ,after a time 
,i gave out the subject ,mystery1 and ,i
 saw him look up quickly with flashing  
eyes4  ,phew6  ,what a ripping subject6 
he cried1 ,i must have a shot at that6  
,his shot was promising1 and he         
continued to make shots1 until some of  
his essays were praised by the class4   
,then one day he came to me4  ,i don't  
know anything about stops and things1 he
 said1 and ,i want you to tell me about 
them4  ,this is my ideal of education2  
no child ever learns a thing until he   
wants to learn it4  ,that lad picked up 
all he wanted to know about stops in    
half-an-hour4  ,he was interested in    
stops because he wanted to write better 
essays4  ,i need hardly say that he had 
listened to hundreds of lessons on stops
 during his school career4        99    
99      99      99      99  ,to-morrow  
,i return to ,london1 and to-night ,i   
went over to say good-bye to ,dauvit4   

,aye1 dominie1 and so ye're gaein' back 
to ,london6 he said4  ,i don't want to  
leave this lazy life1 ,dauvit1 ,i said1 
but ,i must go back and start my school4
  ,it'll cost ye some bawbees to gang to
 ,london1 put in ,jake ,tosh4 ,penny    
three ha'pennies a mile noo-a-days ,i   
onderstand4  ,a shullin' a mile for     
corps1 remarked the undertaker4  ,dauvit
 chuckled4  ,so ye'll better no dee in  
,london1 dominie1 he laughed4  ,and that
 reminds me of ,peter ,wilson1 him that 
passed into the ,civil ,service and gaed
 to ,london4  ,he came hame onexpectedly
 wan mornin' and his father he says3    
',what in a' the earth brocht ye hame in
 the month o' ,february1 ,peter8        
,surely ye dinna hae a holiday the noo8'
  ',no1' says ,peter1 'but ,i had a     
cauld and ,i thocht ,i was maybe takkin'
 pewmonia1 and1 weel father1 corpses is 
a bob a mile on the railway4'  ,dauvit1 
,i said1 ,i don't care where ,i am      
buried4  ,is that so8 asked ,jake in    
surprise4  ,what's become o' yer        

patriotism1 dominie8  ,i canna          
onderstand a man no wanting to be buried
 in his ain country4  ,for my pairt ,i  
wudna like to be buried ony place but   
the wee kirkyaird up the brae there4    
,dauvit grunted4  ,what does it matter1 
,jake1 whaur ye're buried8  ,goad1 said 
,jake1 it matters a lot4  ,the grund up 
in the kirkyaird is the best grund in   
,scotland4  ,it's a' sand1 and they tell
 me that yer corp will keep for years in
 that grund4  ,dauvit laughed1 but the  
others seemed to take ,jake's           
preservation argument seriously4  ,jake1
 said ,dauvit1 does it no strike ye that
 to be buried in yer native place is a  
disgrace8  ,hoo that1 na8 said ,jake4   
,because the man that bides in the place
 he was born in is of nae importance4   
,a' the best men leave their native     
village1 aye1 and their native country4 
,aye1 lads1 the best men and the worst  
women leave their native country4  ,i   
sincerely trust that you are not        
insinuating that they leave together1   

,dauvit1 ,i put in hastily4  ,no1 they  
dinna do that1 dominie2 but whether they
 meet in ,london ,i dinna ken1 and he   
smiled wickedly4  ,jake spat in the     
grate4  ,i dinna see what the attraction
 o' ,london is1 he said with a touch of 
contempt4  ,it is rather difficult to   
describe1 ,i said4  ,for one thing you  
feel that you are in the centre of      
things4  ,you are in the midst of all   
the best plays and concerts and         
processions 4 4 4 and you never think of
 going to see them4  ,then all the      
important people are there1 the ,king   
and ,lloyd ,george and ,bernard ,shaw 4 
4 4 but you never see them anywhere4    
,then there are the places of historic  
interest1 the ,tower1 ,westminster      
,abbey1 ,st4 ,paul's 4 4 4 and you don't
 know where they are until your cousins 
come up for a week's trip1 and then you 
ask a policeman where the ,tower is4    
,and the strange thing is that you get  
to love ,london4  ,there will be a fell 
puckle funerals ,i daresay1 said the    

undertaker4  ,to tell the truth1 ,i     
answered1 ,i have never seen a funeral  
in ,london4  ,in the suburbs1 yes1 but  
never in the centre of the ,west ,end4  
,i've often seen them at the crematorium
 in ,golders ,green4  ,the undertaker   
frowned4  ,that crematin' business shud 
be abolished by act o' ,parliament1 he  
said gruffly4  ,it's just a waste o'    
guid wood and coal4  ,they tell me it   
taks twa ton o' coal ilka time4  ,i was 
surprised to find that the broad-minded 
,dauvit agreed with the undertaker in   
condemning cremation4  ,i suspect that  
early training has something to do with 
it1 and there may be an unconscious     
connecting of cremation with hell-fire4 
,dauvit's argument that cremation would 
destroy the evidence in poisoning cases 
was a pure rationalisation4  ,i wondered
 why the topic of funerals kept coming  
up1 and ,i laughingly put the matter to 
,dauvit4  ,maybe it's because we're sad 
because ye're gaein' awa1 he said       
half-seriously4  ,we'll miss yer crack  

at nichts4  ,at last ,i got up to go4   
,aweel1 ,dauvit1 ,i'll be going1 ,i     
said4  ,aweel1 so long1 said ,dauvit    
without looking up4  ,the others said   
,guidnicht or ,so ,long1 and ,i went    
out4  ,i was sorry to leave these good  
friends1 and they were sorry to lose me2
 yet we parted1 it may be1 for years1   
just as if we were to see each other    
to-morrow4  ,we are a queer race4       
,,xi4  ,when ,i arrived in ,london      
to-night ,i received a blow4  ,a letter 
awaited me saying that the landlord of  
the school ,i was taking over had       
decided to sell the property4  ,thus all
 my dreams of a free school vanished in 
smoke4  ,there isn't a house to rent in 
,london2 thousands are for sale1 but ,i 
have no money to buy4  ,if ,i had money 
,i should hesitate to buy1 for if a     
school is a success it expands1 and the 
ideal thing to do is to take it out to  
the country where there is fresh air and
 space to grow4  ,to-night ,i feel      
pessimistic2 it is difficult to be an   

optimist when a long-planned scheme     
suddenly falls to pieces4  ,i think of  
my capitalist friend ,lindsay4  ,he     
could buy me a school to-morrow1 and    
never miss the money1 but ,i don't think
 ,i should accept it4  ,he would always 
have a big say in the running of it1 and
 his ideals are not mine4  ,i know other
 people with money1 but ,i fancy that   
they have no faith in me4  ,that is one 
of the disadvantages of writing light   
books like ,a ,dominie's ,log4  ,the    
adult reads it and says3 ,funny chap    
this6  ,but people have little faith in 
funny chaps4  ,you can be a funny chap  
if you are a magistrate or a cabinet    
minister1 but a teacher must be a staid 
dignified person4  ,he must be a man who
 by his serious demeanour will impress  
the children and lead them out of the   
morass of original sin in which they    
were born4  ,montessori is catching on  
in the educational world not entirely   
because of her excellent system2 part of
 her success is due to the fact that she

 never makes a joke2 she is always the  
dignified moral model teacher4  ,poor   
,montessori6  ,here ,i am transferring  
my irritation at the landlord who sold  
my school to her4  ,i beg her pardon4   
,nor am ,i really annoyed with the      
landlord2 the person ,i am annoyed with 
is myself4  ,i bungled that school      
business4  ,now ,i feel better4  ,when  
,i am irritated ,i always think of the  
traveller from ,st4 ,andrews4  ,he      
arrived at ,leuchars ,junction and had  
five minutes to wait for the ,edinburgh 
train4  ,he entered the bar and had a   
drink4 ,he had a second drink1 and then 
awoke to the fact that he had missed the
 train4  ,the next train was due in two 
hours4  ,the barmaid shut the bar       
between trains and the traveller went   
out on the platform4  ,it was a cold    
rainy ,november night4  ,he went to the 
waiting room1 but there was no fire     
there4  ,anyway1 he said1 ,i'll have a  
smoke1 and he filled his pipe4  ,then he
 found that he had but one match left4  

,he struck it1 and it went out4  ,he    
went out to the platform and found an   
old porter screwing down the lamps4     
,the porter knelt down to tie his lace  
and the traveller approached him4       
,could you oblige me with a match8  ,the
 old porter eyed him dispassionately4   
,i dinna smoke4  ,i dinna believe in    
smokin'4  ,i dinna hae a match4  ,the   
traveller walked wearily forward to an  
automatic machine and inserted his last 
penny 4 4 4 and drew out a bar of       
butterscotch4  ,he tossed it over the   
line1 and then he threw his pipe after  
it4  ,he walked along the platform1 and 
then he came back4  ,the old porter was 
again tying his lace4  ,the traveller   
suddenly rushed at him and kicked him as
 hard as he could4  ,what did ye do that
 for8 demanded the poor old man when he 
picked himself up4  ,the traveller      
turned away in disgust4  ,och1 to hell  
wi' you2 ye're ay tying your lace6 he   
said4  ,lots of people cannot see the   
joke in this yarn1 and ,i challenge     

anyone to explain the point4        99  
99      99      99      99  ,good       
fortune came to rescue me from sorrowing
 over my lost school4  ,it sent me to   
,holland thuswise3 about five hundred   
,famine ,area children were coming from 
,vienna to ,england1 and ,i was invited 
to become one of the escort4  ,then it  
struck me that ,i might go over earlier 
and have a look at the ,dutch schools4  
,i hastened to get a few passport       
photographs2 ,i looked at them 4 4 4 and
 then ,i thought ,i shouldn't risk      
going4  ,however1 on second thoughts1 ,i
 decided to risk it1 and went to the    
passport office4  ,there a gentleman    
with a big cigar looked at the          
photograph2 then he looked at me4  ,the 
face of a criminal1 his eyes seemed to  
say as he studied the photo4  ,isn't it 
like me8 ,i asked in alarm4  ,quite a   
good likeness1 he said brusquely1 and   
passed me on to the next pigeon-hole4   
,at last ,i landed in ,flushing1 and a  
kind guard found me a carriage4 ,there  

,i began to learn the ,dutch language4  
,niet rooken4  ,scots reek means smoke3 
hurrah6 do not smoke6  ,verbodden te    
spuwen4  ,it is forbidden to---- no1    
that wouldn't be nice6  ,got it6  ,do   
not spit6  ,at this juncture a pretty   
,scheveningen lassie entered and greeted
 me4 ,alas6  ,i knew but five words of  
,dutch1 and when ,i thought the matter  
over ,i concluded that they were not    
very appropriate for carrying on a mild 
flirtation4  ,still1 it's wonderful how 
much you can do with facial expression4 
,just before the train started a man    
entered4  ,he knew ,english1 and with   
more kindness than knowledge of humanity
 he offered to act as interpreter4  ,the
 ass6 as if a fellow can tell a girl    
through an interpreter that her hair is 
just the shade he admires4  ,this fisher
 lassie was the only pretty girl ,i saw 
in ,holland in ten days4  ,rotterdam4   
,my first and abiding impression was    
that never before had ,i seen so many   
badly-dressed people4  ,if ,i had money 

and a profiteering complex ,i should set
 up a ,bond ,street shop in the centre  
of ,rotterdam4 ,no1 that's wrong2 that  
wasn't my first impression at all3 my   
first impression was of a window filled 
with cigars at six cents each--one and a
 fifth pence4  ,from that moment ,i     
loved ,holland and the ,dutch4 ,what did
 it matter if their clothes were badly  
cut8  ,what did anything matter8  ,i    
dived into that shop and bought twenty 4
 4 4 and ten yards farther on discovered
 a shop with fatter and longer cigars at
 five cents each4  ,three days later in 
the ,hague ,i walked round the cigar    
shops for two hours1 dying for a smoke1 
but not daring to buy a cigar at five   
cents lest in the next street ,i should 
find a shop offering them at four cents4
  ,it was in ,rotterdam that ,i         
discovered how bad my manners were4  ,i 
was sitting in a cafe when a gentleman  
entered4  ,he swept off his hat and     
bowed graciously 4 4 4 and ,i hastily   
put a protecting hand on the pocket     

containing my pocket-book4  ,but every  
man who entered greeted me in the same  
way1 and ,i realised that ,i was in a   
polite country4  ,by the end of the week
 ,i was beating the ,dutch at their own 
game1 for ,i swept off my hat to every  
policeman1 shopkeeper1 tramwayman ,i    
spoke to4  ,on a ,monday morning ,i     
walked forth to inspect the ,dutch      
schools4  ,i saw a troop of little girls
 following a mistress1 and ,i joined the
 procession4  ,they turned into a       
playground1 and ,i followed4  ,i        
approached the lady4  ,do you speak     
,english8  ,engelish6  ,ja6 she said    
with a smile4  ,i am an ,english--no1   
,scots teacher1 ,i explained1 and ,i    
should like to see the school4  ,i will 
ask the head-mistress1 she said1 and    
entered the school1 while ,i stood and  
admired the bonny white dresses of the  
girls4  ,she returned shaking her head4 
,the head-mistress says that it is not  
allowed to visit a school in ,holland   
without a permit from the ,mansion      

,house4  ,a rotten country6 ,i growled1 
and went away4  ,in the street ,i ran   
into a group of boys led by a master who
 was smoking a fat cigar4  ,speak       
,english8 ,i asked1 lifting my hat      
gracefully4  ,nichtenrichtilbricht1 he  
said2 at least that's how it sounded4   
,thank you1 ,i said1 lifted my hat      
again1 and fell in behind the boys4 ,i  
was determined to see this thing        
through4  ,i tackled him again when we  
reached the playground4  ,i the head    
would see1 ,i began1 the ober-johnny1   
the chef4  ,ja6 he exclaimed with an    
enlightened grin1 and nodded4  ,in ten  
seconds the chief stood before me4  ,he 
could speak a broken ,english1 and said 
he would be glad to show me round4  ,it 
was a third class school1 and ,i        
gathered that in ,holland there are     
three grades of ,state school2 the first
 class is attended by the rich1 the     
second by the middle class1 and the     
third by the poor4  ,the school was very
 like a ,board ,school in ,england4     

,the children sat in the familiar desks 
and were spoon-fed by the familiar      
teacher4 ,there was nothing new about   
it4  ,i noticed that hand writing seemed
 to be the most important thing1 and    
each class teacher proudly showed me    
exercise books filled with beautiful    
copper-plate writing4  ,most obliging   
class teachers they were4  ,would ,i    
like to hear some singing8 ,it was      
wonderful singing in three parts2 what  
surprised me was that the boys seemed to
 be just as keen on singing as the      
girls4  ,i have always found it         
otherwise in ,scotland and ,england4    
,in this school ,i got the gratifying   
news that corporal punishment is not    
allowed in ,dutch schools1 and later ,i 
learned that this applies to all        
reformatories also4  ,i think the ,dutch
 are fond of children4  ,children seem  
to be everywhere4  ,i went to the       
police-station to register as an alien1 
and as the inspector was examining my   
passport this wee girl of three toddled 

in and climbed on his knees4  ,he laid  
down his pen and fondled the child4     
,then his wife came in2 she had been out
 shopping1 and wanted him to admire the 
big potatoes she had bought4  ,i was    
delighted to see the human element      
mingle with the official4  ,a country   
that allows wives and children to mix up
 with its red-tape is on the right road 
to health if not wealth4  ,i went to the
 ,hague next day1 and ,english friends  
met me at the station and piloted me to 
their home4  ,next morning ,i visited an
 establishment called the               
,observatiehuis1 and found that the     
superintendent had spent six years in   
,england and had an ,english wife4  ,the
 observation house1 he explained1 is a  
home for bad boys4  ,when convicted they
 are sent there and are observed4  ,if a
 boy is well-behaved he is sent to live 
with a family and learn a trade2 if he  
is incorrigible he is sent to a         
reformatory4  ,i looked in vain for the 
new psychological way of treating       

delinquents4 ,there was discipline here1
 but it was kindly discipline1 for ,mr4 
,engels is a kindly man2 the boys sang  
as they swept the stairs4  ,that was    
good1 yet1 it was ,mr4 ,engels that     
brought freedom into the school2 his    
successor may be a bully4  ,from ,mr4   
,engels ,i got a letter of introduction 
to a real reformatory in ,amersfoort1   
and off ,i set4  ,amersfoort is inland  
and ,i expected to find much language   
difficulty there1 for ,i thought it     
unlikely that ,english would be spoken  
so far inland4  ,amersfoort is a        
beautiful old town1 and ,i at once set  
out to find the ,coppleport mentioned in
 my guide-book4  ,i suppose ,i looked a 
lost soul4 ,a youth of eighteen jumped  
off his cycle and lifted his cap4  ,then
 he pointed to a badge he wore in his   
coat4  ,boy scout6 he said4  ,excellent6
 ,i cried1 you speak ,english8  ,he held
 out his hand4  ,good bye6 he said2     
pleased you to meet6  ,how do you do8 ,i
 said4  ,he grinned4  ,god damn6 he said

 sweetly4  ,after that conversation     
seemed to die down4  ,i managed to      
convey to him that ,i was looking for   
the ,coppleport1 and he led me to it4   
,gradually his ,english improved1 and he
 told me of his brother in ,england4  ,a
 nice lad4  ,i told him that ,i had once
 had a long conversation with the great 
,b4,p41 but he looked blank4  ,baden    
,powell1 your chief1 ,i explained4  ,he 
shook his head2 he had never heard of   
,b4,p4  ,i think now that what was wrong
 was that he did not understand the name
 as ,i pronounced it2 possibly he knows 
,b4,p4 under the sound of ,bahah ,povell
 or something similar4  ,on the         
following morning ,i went to the        
reformatory4  ,it was a beautiful       
building fitted with every appliance    
necessary 4 4 4 and one not necessary--a
 solitary confinement room4  ,a young   
teacher1 ,mr4 ,conijn1 a very decent    
chap1 who could speak excellent         
,english1 showed me round4 ,every door  
we came to had to be opened with a key  

and locked behind us4 ,here there was   
more of military discipline than in the 
,observatiehuis1 but none of the boys   
looked sulky or unhappy4  ,the relations
 of the boys and the teachers were fine2
 as ,conijn passed a lad he would pull  
his hair or pass a funny remark1 and the
 boy would grin and reply4  ,any        
self-government8 ,i asked4  ,we tried it
 but it was no good4  ,it may work with 
,english boys but not with ,dutch1 said 
,mr4 ,conijn4  ,did you have locked     
doors8 ,i asked4  ,oh1 yes4  ,then      
self-government hadn't the ghost of a   
chance to succeed1 ,i remarked4  ,we    
entered a class where an old man of     
about eighty was teaching a group4  ,why
 do these lads keep their eyes on the   
ground8 ,i asked4  ,is their spirit     
crushed out of them8  ,conijn laughed4  
,they are admiring your boots6 he cried4
  ,i wore a pair of ski-ing boots on my 
trip1 and all ,holland stared           
open-mouthed at them4  ,if ,i had been  
wanted for a murder ,i don't think      

anyone in ,holland could have identified
 me1 for their eyes never got above my  
boots4  ,one of the masters1 ,mr4 van   
,something-or-other1 very trustingly    
lent me his bike1 and on the following  
day ,i cycled to ,laren to see the      
,humanitarian ,school there4  ,nearly   
every road has a cycle path on one side 
and a riding path on the other1 but in  
spite of the excellent roads ,i did not 
enjoy cycling in ,holland2 a free wheel 
was of little value on the flat surface4
  ,one delightful feature about cycling 
in ,holland is that there are no mid-day
 closing times for pubs1 but on the     
other hand you cannot raise much of a   
thirst in a flat country4  ,well1 ,i    
reached ,laren after many narrow        
escapes1 for ,i was continually         
forgetting that you keep to the right in
 ,holland4  ,a postman came along1 and  
,i jumped off4  ,humanitaire ,school8 ,i
 asked as ,i doffed my hat4  ,by his    
expression ,i judged that he did not    
know the institution under that name4   

,school1 ,i said1 and he nodded and     
pointed to the village ,state school4   
,nay6  ,school ,humanitaire6 ,i         
persisted4  ,at this juncture another   
man came forward1 and the two of them   
jawed away gutturally for some time4  ,i
 began to grow weary4  ,hell6 ,i        
murmured to myself half aloud4  ,the    
postman brightened1 and enlightenment   
came to him4  ,engelissman6 he          
exclaimed4  ,liar6 ,i cried1 ,i'm a     
,scot1 and ,i left the two of them      
discussing ,engelissmen4  ,after much   
trouble and many bitter words ,i found  
the school4  ,a gentleman who looked    
extremely like ,bernard ,shaw before    
,shaw's hair turned grey1 was digging in
 a garden with a lot of boys and girls4 
,he was ,mr4 ,elbrink1 the head-master4 
,he could speak ,english and he showed  
me round4  ,the school is rather like   
what is known as the crank school in    
,england4 ,in a manner it is the        
super-crank school1 for everyone on the 
staff is teetotal1 vegetarian1 and a    

non-smoker4  ,here it was that ,i heard 
of ,lightheart for the first time1 and  
,i blushed for my ignorance of the      
gentleman4  ,it appears that he was a   
great educational reformer1 a sort of   
,froebel ,i fancied1 for handwork seemed
 to be the main consideration in the    
school4  ,but ,i regret to say that the 
school did not impress me much4  ,too   
many children were doing the same sort  
of work2 they sat in desks and held     
themselves more or less rigid4  ,here   
was benevolent authority again1 not true
 freedom4  ,all schools in ,holland are 
,state schools1 and the ,humanitarian   
,school is one of them4  ,it is almost  
impossible for a ,state school to be    
very much advanced2 ,i think it is      
impossible1 for the ,state is the       
national crowd1 and a large crowd has   
little use for the crank4  ,i returned  
to ,amersfoort1 where by this time ,i   
had become the guest of the             
,international ,school of ,philosophy4  
,this is a building standing in about   

twenty acres of ground amid the pine    
forests two miles south of the town4  ,i
 was the sole guest1 for the summer     
classes had not started4  ,this school  
is the beginning of a great movement4   
,here students from every country will  
meet and discuss life and education4    
,mr4 ,reiman1 the president1 talked long
 and earnestly to me about the scheme1  
but ,i found myself challenging his     
insistence on spiritual education4  ,the
 aim of the school is to develop the    
spiritual side of man1 an excellent aim 
4 4 4 so long as man does not imagine   
that by living on the higher plane he is
 annihilating his earthly self4         
,everyone there was very1 very kind to  
me1 but ,i did not feel quite in my     
element1 for ,i am not an obviously     
spiritual person4  ,i find that ,i can  
discuss the higher life best when ,i    
have a glass of ,pilsener at my elbow   
and a penny cigar in my mouth4  ,it is  
clear that ,i have a complex about the  
higher life1 and it may be a sour-grapes

 complex4  ,all the same ,i should like 
to attend a summer course at ,amersfoort
 and listen to the wise men dilate on   
the ,bhagavadgita1 ,psycho-analysis and 
,religion1 ,plato1 ,sufism1 and other   
subjects on the programme2 anyway ,i    
would have no prepossessions and        
prejudices in listening to ,dr4 ,g4 ,r4 
,s4 ,meads' course of lectures on ,the  
,mystical ,philosophy and ,gnosis of the
 ,trismegistic ,tractates4  ,from       
,amersfoort ,i went to ,amsterdam4      
,umsterdum1 dree klasse1 returig1 ,i    
said to the ticket office girl4  ,third 
class return8 she asked with a smile and
 gave me the ticket4  ,i was indignant4 
,it is the most humiliating thing in the
 world to ask a question in ,dutch and  
to be answered in ,english4  ,in        
,rotterdam ,i had stopped a seafaring   
looking man and tried to ask him in     
,dutch what was the way to the ,hotel de
 ,france4  ,he listened patiently while 
,i struggled with the language2 then he 
spat on my boot4  ,hotel de ,france8 he 

replied in broad ,cockney1 damned if ,i 
know4  ,on the way to ,amsterdam ,i got 
into a carriage full of farmers and one 
of them made a remark to me4  ,i shook  
my head4  ,engelissman8 he said4  ,i    
nodded4  ,then those men began to talk  
about ,engelissmen1 and they talked and 
laughed all the way to ,amsterdam4      
,every now and then one of them would   
jerk his thumb in my direction4  ,it was
 a trying journey4  ,arrived in         
,amsterdam ,i made for the ,rijks       
,museum4  ,at the door a seedy-looking  
man touched me on the arm4  ,guide1 sir8
  ,no thank you4  ,two hundred rooms1   
sir6  ,official guide4  ,no thank you4  
,he kept pace with me1 and in a weak    
moment ,i inquired his charge4  ,it was 
three guilden 7five shillings71 and ,i  
saw at once that the dirty dog had won1 
for he took on an air of possession4    
,righto1 ,i said resignedly1 and he led 
me into the building4  ,he began his    
tiresome patter4  ,thees picture was    
painted in #aedg2 beautiful ees eet not8

  ,wonderful arteest6  ,i sighed4  ,take
 me to the ,rembrandts1 ,i said4  ,i    
cannot describe this incident4  ,i hated
 the beast because ,i had been so weak  
as to accept his services4  ,the beauty 
of ,rembrandt and ,franz ,hals was lost 
on me2 all ,i could see was the dirty   
face of that guide4 ,rembrandt's ,night 
,watch made me forget the creature for a
 moment1 but when he began to describe  
it ,i fled in horror4  ,we finished up  
in the modern section1 and as ,i looked 
at van ,gogh and ,czanne and ,whistler's
 ,effie ,deans his squeaky voice kept up
 a running commentary4  ,i rushed from  
the building after a ten minutes' tour1 
paid the worm his three guilden 4 4 4   
and then went back and enjoyed the      
gallery4  ,but ,i nearly committed      
murder in the ,rijks ,museum that day4  
,if ever ,i am hanged it will be for    
murdering an official guide4  ,this     
particular specimen spoiled my visit to 
,amsterdam4  ,i could not get away from 
the thought of my weakness1 and ,i fled 

the city4  ,in the train going back to  
,amersfoort a genial ,dutchman made a   
remark to me4  ,i resolved that ,i      
should pretend to be a                  
fellow-countryman4  ,ja6 ,i said1 and   
the answer seemed to satisfy him4  ,he  
went on to say other things1 and when   
his facial expression seemed to demand  
an affirmative ,i said ,ja6  ,after a   
time he frowned as he said a sentence4  
,nay6 said ,i4  ,that did it4  ,he      
became white with anger1 and swore at me
 all the way to ,amersfoort4  ,he had a 
fine command of language1 too1 and ,i   
was extremely sorry that ,i could not   
understand it4  ,on the ,saturday ,i set
 off on my return journey to ,rotterdam1
 doing a tour in ,american fashion of   
,leiden on the way4  ,it was like going 
home1 for ,i liked ,rotterdam4  ,i think
 it was the gay paint on the barges that
 attracted me so much4  ,on the ,sunday 
morning the ,austrian kiddies arrived1  
and my sight-seeing ended4     ,,xii4   
,the ,austrian kiddies arrived at the   

,maas station on ,sunday morning1 and   
the ,dutch folk gave them a kindly      
welcome4  ,the ,rotterdam committee was 
in charge1 and ,i stood back because it 
was not my job4  ,the kiddies came      
tumbling out of the train with great    
relief1 for they had travelled for two  
nights4  ,all had heavy rucksacks1 many 
of them the packs of their dead fathers 
and brothers4  ,my eye lit on little    
,hansi4  ,she stood on the platform     
crying1 and ,i went forward to comfort  
her4  ,alas6  ,i knew less ,german than 
,i did ,dutch1 and ,i knew not what she 
said2 but one of the ,austrian escort   
told me that she had been homesick all  
the way4  ,there is1 however1 a         
universal language that all children    
understand1 and ,i took wee ,hansi in my
 arms and cuddled her4  ,the flow of    
tears stopped and she took from a small 
basket slung to her neck a tiny naked   
doll4  ,i included ,puppe in the cuddle1
 and ,hansi smiled4  ,a dear wee mite   
she was1 very very thin1 with great big 

eyes that were sunken4  ,her tears did  
not affect me1 but when she smiled ,i   
found myself weeping1 and ,i had to blow
 my nose hard4  ,the four hundred and   
fifty-eight children were bundled across
 the road to a ship1 which took them in 
two parts across the ,maas to the large 
building used by the ,cunard ,line for  
emigrants4  ,many of them thought they  
were on the way to ,england1 and ten    
minutes later ,i found a wee chap gazing
 round in wonder on the land of         
,england4  ,this aint ,england1 anywye1 
he said at last in evident disgust2 look
 at them clogs6  ,this is ,holland4     
,the boy was a ,londoner resident in    
,vienna4  ,there were about a dozen     
,english children in the party4  ,later 
,i found one standing in front of a     
group of ,austrian boys4  ,any one o'   
you1 he was shouting1 ,i'll box the     
whole gang o' you6  ,this ,cockney1 his 
little brother1 and their sister were   
the thorn in the flesh of the escort4   
,absolute terrors1 declared everyone1   

but ,i liked them4  ,many of the        
children were middle class1 children of 
doctors1 lawyers1 architects1 and so on2
 nice kiddies they were4  ,the bigger   
girls could speak ,english1 and ,i used 
them as interpreters4  ,on the ,monday  
morning the ,english escort took charge4
  ,the first task was medical           
inspection1 and the two ,english doctors
 and four or five ,dutch doctors        
prepared for action4  ,our job was to   
marshal the kiddies1 help them to take  
their shirts off1 and then bundle them  
into the inspection room4  ,it sounds   
easy1 but it was a weary business4  ,you
 looked down the list for ,no4 #beh1 and
 you found a name4  ,mitzi ,dvoracek6   
you called1 and wondered whether a boy  
or a girl would appear4  ,there was no  
answer 4 4 4 and an hour later you found
 a little girl who had lost her identity
 card1 and you concluded that she was   
,dvoracek1 but she wasn't2 her name was 
,leopoldine ,czsthmkyghw1 or something  
resembling that4  ,i was greatly        

troubled by their questions4  ,following
 a method ,i had used with indifferent  
effect while conversing with garrulous  
,dutchmen in railway carriages1 ,i      
answered ,ja and ,nay alternately4      
,many of the children stared at me in   
wonder and ,i marvelled 4 4 4 until ,i  
discovered that most of them had been   
asking me the way to the lavatory4      
,after that ,i just pointed to a door in
 the wall when a boy asked me a         
question1 and when one lad didn't seem  
to understand1 ,i took him by the back  
of the neck and shoved him through the  
door4  ,then ,i found that he had been  
asking the time4  ,i gave up replying to
 questions after that4  ,the children   
had all been examined1 and one lad stood
 alone2 he had no card and no one could 
place him4  ,then he confessed that he  
was a stowaway who had been too old to  
join the batch1 and had boarded the     
train quietly at ,vienna4  ,mrs4 ,ensor1
 the secretary of the ,famine ,area     
,committee1 proved herself a sport by   

declaring that she would take him to    
,england4  ,the good ,dutch folk also   
rose to the occasion1 and went out and  
bought him a pair of short trousers4    
,in the afternoon ,i sat down beside a  
few boys4  ,and then ,i did a fatal     
thing4  ,a boy dropped his pencil and ,i
 picked it up1 threw it over the house 4
 4 4 and then produced it from another  
lad's pocket4  ,that did it4  ,in two   
seconds ,i had a hundred children round 
me roaring at me4 ,an ,austrian lady    
explained that they were calling me a   
magician and asking for more4  ,i       
blushingly told her to explain to them  
that it was my only trick4  ,sighs of   
disgust followed1 and ,i was on the     
point of losing my popularity when ,i   
hastily got the lady to explain to them 
that ,i had a better talent 4 4 4  ,i   
could make anyone laugh merely by       
looking at him4  ,fifty of them at once 
challenged me to begin1 and ,i had a    
great time4  ,one lad beat me1 but then 
he had toothache1 a blistered heel1 and 

was homesick4  ,after a time ,i asked   
them to sing to me1 and they sang sweet 
folk songs of their home4  ,they were   
delightful singers1 and the boys sang as
 eagerly and as well as the girls4  ,in 
,england boys usually hate singing4  ,i 
marvelled at their all knowing the same 
songs1 and one of the girls explained to
 me that in ,austria every school has   
the same songs2 more than that1 every   
school has the same class-books1 and if 
two children living a hundred miles     
apart meet on the street they can say to
 each other3 ,i'm at page #fg of my     
,geography4  ,what page are you at8     
,they demanded a song from me1 and ,i   
sang ,now is the ,month of ,maying1 and1
 by special request1 ,tipperary4  ,then 
,i asked them to sing their ,national   
,anthem1 and the lady began it1 but the 
children did not follow her4  ,at my    
look of surprise the lady said3 ,they   
cannot sing it because now they feel    
that they have no ,austria left to sing 
about4  ,a man's voice sounded from     

inside the building1 and they rushed    
indoors1 for it was the voice of their  
beloved ,ministry of ,health doctor1 who
 had brought them from ,vienna1 and they
 all loved him4  ,they forgot me at once
 and left me 4 4 4 all but one4  ,little
 ,hansi put her wee hand in mine and    
snuggled closer 4 4 4 and that's why ,i 
love her so very much4  ,on ,tuesday    
morning they all took up their packs1   
and we set off for ,england via the     
,maas boat and station4  ,we packed into
 carriages and set off4  ,there was no  
water on the train1 but we laughed and  
said3 ,we'll be in ,flushing in two     
hours6  ,we are a special6  ,we were4   
,we left the ,maas station at one       
o'clock1 and we travelled until three4  
,then we drew up 4 4 4 and found we were
 back at the ,maas station4 ,where we   
had been ,i don't know1 but it was the  
biggest mystery of my life4  ,well1 we  
crawled along past picturesque villages 
where women with white caps and red arms
 smiled on us and gave us water to      

drink4 ,and at eight o'clock we reached 
,flushing all very weary and extremely  
dirty4  ,the kiddies had a good meal set
 out on white tablecloths1 and the      
doctor and ,i had the best ,pilsener of 
our lives4  ,we handed over the kiddies 
to the ship stewards and the fresh      
escort from ,england1 and retired to    
rest4  ,i awoke at six and found that   
all the children were on deck1 and the  
bad ,english boy almost in the water1   
for his heels were off the ground and   
his head far down towards the water4    
,he was looking for fish1 he said4      
,none of the children had seen the sea  
before1 but ,i think they were too tired
 to be excited about it4  ,they did     
become excited when they saw the cliffs 
of ,dover4  ,much to my annoyance a     
gentleman had been teaching them ,god   
,save the ,king on the way over4  ,i was
 annoyed because ,i knew it was a piece 
of jingoism meant for the journalists at
 ,folkestone4  ,when we drew up at the  
pier1 sure enough the gentleman struck  

up the tune1 and the kiddies sang it4   
,but the girls who could speak ,english 
sang ,god ,save ,,your ,gracious ,king4 
,i thought it a beautiful touch2 the    
finest piece of good taste ,i have ever 
come across4  ,i didn't like the        
well-dressed ladies who came bossing    
around at ,folkestone4  ,frankly ,i was 
jealous4  ,as ,i was leading the        
children off the steamer1 one of them   
touched me on the arm and asked me to   
make way for the children4  ,and ,i     
smiled to see that the women in rich    
dresses managed somehow to get in front 
of the camera4  ,we took the children to
 ,sandwich by rail and then to a camp by
 motor lorry4  ,it was a tiresome job   
loading and unloading the lorry1 but    
after six trips ,i found that every     
child was in camp4  ,i went off to have 
a wash and some tea1 and then1 glowing  
with self-satisfaction at all ,i had    
done1 ,i lit a cigar and walked outside4
  ,a gentleman passed me4  ,are you a   
worker8 he demanded4  ,i--er--,i suppose

 ,i am--in a way1 ,i said modestly4     
,well1 don't you think you might find   
something to do8 he asked4 ,there's     
plenty to do1 you know4  ,then for the  
first time in my life ,i understood the 
old ,mons ,ribbon men who used to       
annihilate the recruit with the terse   
phrase3 ,afore you came up6  ,the       
pressmen passed by1 a dozen of them with
 the stowaway in their midst4           
,presently they posed him and a dozen   
cameras snapped while a cinema burred4  
,and next day the papers told a romantic
 story2 the stowaway had crept into the 
train at ,vienna1 and1 foodless1 had hid
 until he arrived in ,rotterdam4  ,then 
darkly he had crept on board the ship   
and had been discovered at ,folkestone4 
,also when next day ,i saw in the       
pictorial papers a photograph of a boy  
violinist playing to his chums1 ,i was  
not very much surprised to find the     
title of the photo was3 ,the ,stowaway  
,entertains ,his ,companions4  ,as a    
matter of fact1 the fiddler wasn't the  

stowaway at all1 but this incident makes
 me think hard about history4  ,if a    
,fleet ,street reporter changes one boy 
into another1 why1 we may be all wrong  
in our history4  ,henry ,,viii4 may only
 have had one wife1 and the reporter who
 interviewed him may have had so much   
sack to drink that his vision along with
 the journalistic touch may have        
manufactured the other five4  ,the tale 
of ,king ,harold being shot through the 
eye at the ,battle of ,hastings may have
 arisen from a reporter's using the     
figurative expression that ,william the 
,conqueror put his eye out4  ,nor1 after
 reading the account of the landing of  
the ,austrian children1 can ,i believe  
the tale of the minstrel ,taillifer who 
sprang into the water to lead the       
,normans in landing4  ,and as for the   
time-honoured phrases1 ,take away that  
bauble6 and ,england expects every man  
to do his duty1 ,i don't believe they   
were ever uttered--not now4  ,i am not  
singling out journalists as special     

misreporters4  ,not one of us can report
 an incident truly4  ,there is a good   
example of this truth in ,swift's       
,psychology and ,everyday ,life1 just   
published4  ,swift prepared a stunt as a
 test for his adult class4  ,in the     
midst of a serious lecture two men and  
two women students created a disturbance
 outside in the lobby1 then they burst  
into the room4  ,one held a banana      
pistol-wise at another's head4  ,swift  
dropped a toy bomb1 and one of the      
students staggered back crying3 ,i'm    
shot6  ,one student dropped a parcel    
containing a brick1 and all yelled and  
made much noise4  ,the class was        
seriously alarmed until they were       
assured that the whole affair was a     
put-up job4  ,each student was asked to 
write an account of what had happened1  
and the result of their attempts is so  
astounding that the reader becomes      
uncertain whether any witness in a      
law-court ever tells the truth4  ,few1  
if any1 students could identify one of  

the wranglers2 every account said that  
the banana was a real pistol2 only one  
or two saw the brick drop4  ,the        
strangest thing was that many were quite
 sure of the identity of the actors 4 4 
4 and one or two of the accounts named  
students who had long since left the    
college4  ,i write from memory1 but the 
facts were as arresting as the ones ,i  
have given4  ,this makes one uneasy     
about the methods the police adopt to   
identify a prisoner4  ,if ,i saw a man  
shoot another in ,piccadilly1 it is a   
thousand to one chance that ,i should   
not be able to identify him later4  ,yet
 many a man has been hanged on          
identification4  ,but ,i meant to finish
 my account of the ,austrian kiddies4   
,the time came when ,i had to leave them
 and return to ,london4  ,i set out to  
find my ,hansi to say good-bye to her4  
,i saw her in the distance 4 4 4 and    
then ,i ran away1 for ,i hate saying    
good-bye4  ,i liked those kiddies1 dear 
wee souls1 just as sweet as any ,english

 kiddies1 but then children have no     
nationality2 they are lovable for they  
all belong to the ,never ,never ,land4  
,barrie proved himself a genius when he 
created ,peter ,pan1 for ,peter         
symbolises man's highest wish--to become
 a little child and never grow up4      
,genius1 he says1 is the power of being 
a boy again at will4  ,it is true in his
 case4 ,yet this kind of genius is      
retrospective2 it is a regression4  ,the
 genius who will help man to look       
forward instead of backward must not    
return to boyhood2 he must go forward to
 superman4  ,to put it psychologically1 
,barrie's genius comes from the         
unconscious1 but what the world needs is
 a man whose genius will come from the  
superconscious1 the divine4     ,,xiii4 
,i have just been reading ,jack         
,london's ,michael1 ,brother of ,jerry1 
and ,i am full of righteous rage4  ,what
 a picture6  ,it is the story of how    
performing animals are trained1 and     
before ,i had read half the book ,i made

 a vow that never again will ,i sit     
through a performance of animals4  ,the 
tale of ,ben ,bolt the tiger1 if known  
by the masses1 would kill every animal  
turn on the stage4  ,ben ,bolt1 fresh   
from the jungle1 is broken by the       
trainers4  ,the method is unspeakable2  
he is lashed with iron bars and stabbed 
with forks until in agony he falls      
senseless in the arena4  ,this treatment
 goes on for weeks 4 4 4 and in the end 
many good1 kindly people see ,ben ,bolt1
 a miserable1 broken animal1 sit up in a
 chair like a human4  ,and they laugh4  
,my ,god6  ,then there is ,barney the   
good-natured mule that was once a family
 pet4 ,later he becomes the celebrated  
bucking mule1 and a prize is offered to 
anyone who will keep on his back for one
 minute4  ,audiences go into fits of    
laughter at his antics4  ,but the       
audiences do not know that ,barney was  
trained with a spiked saddle1 and that  
for months life was one long agony of   
pain4  ,is my anger due to the cruelty  

,i am repressing in myself8  ,i don't   
care whether it is sadism or the spark  
of the divine in me4  ,all ,i care about
 is that this inferno of pain must      
cease4  ,never has any book affected me 
as this one has done4  ,by word of mouth
 and by my pen ,i shall try my hardest  
to send dear old ,jack ,london's message
 round the world4  ,public opinion is   
the only thing that can stop the misery 
of these broken creatures1 and ,i       
suggest that the anti-vivisectionists   
turn their energies to this infinitely  
worse evil4 ,the vivisectionists1 at any
 rate1 are working for humanity1 but the
 brutes who break performing animals are
 merely amusing crowds of good people   
who know nothing about what goes on     
behind the scenes4        99      99    
99      99      99  ,i see in the       
newspaper that ,mary ,pickford and      
,douglas ,fairbanks held up the traffic 
in ,piccadilly4  ,they appeared on a    
balcony at the ,ritz1 and the crowd went
 frantic4  ,the super-hero and the      

super-heroine of the cinema drew the    
crowd's emotion to them1 and ,tagore the
 ,indian poet arrived in town at the    
same time unnoticed4  ,it would seem    
that the crowd responds to the presence 
of the unimportant person only4  ,london
 went mad over ,hawker and ,jack        
,johnson1 and ,georges ,carpentier2 and 
if ,charlie ,chaplin were to come over1 
,i fancy ,london would take a general   
holiday4  ,no one will contend that     
these people are of supreme importance  
in the scheme of life4  ,charlie is a   
funny little man2 ,douglas ,fairbanks is
 a fine lump of a fellow2 ,mary         
,pickford is a sweet little woman4  ,but
 ,tagore will live longer2 ,thomas      
,hardy1 ,bernard ,shaw1 ,bertrand       
,russell1 ,sigmund ,freud are of greater
 moment to humanity1 yet each could walk
 out of ,paddington ,station and be     
unrecognised by the crowd4  ,the morning
 paper shows well that the crowd is     
interested only in unessentials4        
,punish the profiteers6 was the press   

cry a few months ago4  ,well1 they      
punished the profiteers 4 4 4 and prices
 continued to rise4  ,a few years ago   
the cry was3 ,flog the white slave      
traffickers6 ,they flogged them1 and yet
 ,i still see thousands of white slaves 
in the ,west ,end of ,london4  ,and     
while ,europe is sinking into anarchy   
and bankruptcy to-day1 the only remedies
 the crowd representatives--the         
press--can think of are remedies of the 
,hang-the-,kaiser type4  ,i believe that
 the crowd still thinks that juvenile   
crime is mainly caused by cinema        
five-part dramas4  ,the crowd is rather 
like the individual unconscious2 it is  
primitive1 and like the unconscious it  
can only wish4  ,the crowd that welcomed
 ,mary and ,douglas was closely akin to 
the personal unconscious4  ,douglas     
stands to each individual in the crowd  
as the eternal hero1 the man who always 
wins4  ,each man in the crowd sees in   
,douglas his own ideal self1 so that    
when the office boy cheers ,douglas he  

is cheering himself4 ,mary has been well
 named the world's sweet-heart2 she is  
the ideal heroine1 beautiful1 wronged1  
protected by six foot of masculinity4   
,both come from the world of            
make-believe1 the world of phantasy4    
,their arrival in ,england simply made a
 dream come true4  ,now ,i am certain   
that if any individual in the great     
,piccadilly crowd had met ,douglas and  
,mary on the boat1 he or she would have 
looked at them with interest1 but there 
would have been no cheering and throwing
 of roses4  ,what the crowd does is to  
raise an emotion to a superlative       
degree4  ,in a full hall you will laugh 
at a joke that would not bring a smile  
to your face in a room4  ,you become    
absorbed in your crowd1 and you are     
fully open to your crowd's suggestion4  
,i generally laugh at ,charlie ,chaplin1
 but one night a cinema manager1 a      
friend of mine1 gave me a private view  
of ,charlie's latest production4  ,i sat
 alone in the large cinema palace 4 4 4 

and ,i couldn't even smile4  ,had a     
crowd been there to share my laugh1 ,i  
should have roared4  ,the ,douglas-,mary
 episode makes me pessimistic about the 
future of democracy4  ,for democracy is 
crowd rule1 and the crowd is a baby when
 it isn't a savage4  ,yet we have no    
real democracy in this country4  ,we    
have a slave state1 the exploiters and  
the exploited1 the haves and the have   
nots4  ,douglas and ,mary came over1 and
 the poor beauty-starved populace forgot
 for the moment its poverty1 and        
showered all its pent-up emotion on the 
people from picture-book land4  ,in     
,elizabethan times the world was a place
 of wonder2 every mariner was coming    
home with wondrous tales of ,spanish    
gold and men with necks like bulls4     
,all you had to do to find a reality    
that was more wonderful than fancy was  
to sail away across the sea4  ,but      
to-day the world holds no mystery2 there
 are no pirates to overcome1 no prisoned
 maidens to rescue4  ,reality means toil

 and taxes and trouble4  ,but there is a
 land where men are dew-lapped like     
bulls 4 4 4 the land of phantasy4       
,there is a society where the villain   
always gets his deserts 4 4 4 the land  
of film pictures4  ,and when your hero  
and heroine walk out of the picture and 
become real flesh and blood1 what are   
you to do8  ,after all1 you cannot pour 
all your emotion into your looms and    
office-desks and counters4  ,sweet-faced
 ,mary does not know it1 but she is one 
of the best allies that our capitalist  
system could have2 for if the crowd were
 not showering its emotion on her it    
might well be using it up in the        
smashing of all the ugly things in our  
civilisation4       99     99     99    
99     99  ,i have been thinking of the 
crowd in another aspect4  ,last year in 
a merry mood ,i sat down to write a     
novel4  ,i meant it to be a comedy1 but1
 having no control over the characters1 
,i found that they insisted in making   
the story a farce4  ,the result was ,the

 ,booming of ,bunkie4 ,i thought it a   
very funny book1 and ,i laughed at some 
of my own jokes and murmured1 ,good6  ,i
 impatiently awaited the book's         
appearance1 and when the day of         
publication came ,i sat down hopefully  
to await the press notices4  ,the first 
one to come in was lukewarm4  ,why do   
papers send a funny book to an old      
fossil of a reviewer with no sense of   
humour8 ,i said1 testily and waited for 
the next post4  ,well1 it came2 it      
brought three adverse notices and a     
letter4  ,dear ,dominie1 ,i admired your
 ,log1 but why1 oh why1 did you         
perpetrate such a monstrosity as ,the   
,booming of ,bunkie8  ,then a friend    
wrote me a letter4  ,dear old           
chap1--,you are suffering from the      
effects of the war4  ,if the war has    
induced you to write ,bunkie1 ,i am all 
for hanging the ,kaiser4  ,for weeks ,i 
clung to the belief that the crowd had  
no sense of humour 4 4 4 then ,i re-read
 my novel4  ,i still hold that it is    

funny in parts1 but ,i see what is      
wrong4  ,it is a specialised type of    
humour1 or rather wit1 the type that    
undergraduates might appreciate4  ,in   
fact ,i was recently gratified to hear  
that the students of a ,scots university
 were rhapsodising about it4  ,the real 
fault of the book is that it is clever1 
and to be clever is to be at once       
suspect4  ,i naturally like to think    
that the circulation of a book is       
generally in inverse proportion to its  
intrinsic merit4  ,j4 ,d4 ,beresford's  
novels are1 to me1 much better than     
those of the late ,charles ,garvice1 yet
 ,i make a guess that ,garvice's        
circulation was many times greater than 
,beresford's4  ,still ,i cannot argue   
that the reverse is true--that because a
 book does not go into its second       
edition it is necessarily good4  ,i find
 that the problem of circulations is a  
difficult one4  ,i cannot1 for instance1
 understand why ,the ,young ,visitors   
sold in thousands2 ,i failed to raise a 

smile at it4  ,again1 there is my friend
 although publisher1 ,herbert ,jenkins4 
,i didn't think ,bindle funny1 yet it   
has been translated into umpteen        
,european languages4  ,jenkins himself  
does not think it funny1 and that1      
possibly1 is why he is my friend4  ,the 
most surprising success to me was ,ian  
,hay's ,the ,first ,hundred ,thousand4  
,i read ,pat ,mac,gill's ,red ,horizon  
about the same time1 and thought ,hay   
was stilted and superior with a         
public-school man's patronising         
,punch-like attitude to the             
working-class recruits4  ,i thought that
 he didn't know what he was writing     
about1 that he had not reached the souls
 of the men4  ,mac,gill1 on the other   
hand1 gave me the impression of a warm1 
passionate1 intense knowledge of men2 he
 wrote as one who lived with ordinary   
men and knew them through and through4  
,yet ,i fancy that ,the ,red ,horizon1  
popular as it was1 did not have the     
sales of ,the ,first ,hundred ,thousand4

  ,i was lunching with ,professor ,john 
,adams one day in ,london4  ,we got on  
to the subject of circulations1 and he  
said that he had just been asking the   
biggest bookseller in ,london what novel
 sold best4  ,have a guess1 said the    
,professor to me4  ,david ,copperfield1 
,i said promptly4  ,he laughed4  ,not   
bad6 he said1 you've got the author     
right1 but the book is ,a ,tale of ,two 
,cities4  ,he then asked me to guess    
what two authors sold best among the    
troops at the front during the war4     
,charles ,garvice and ,nat ,gould1 ,i   
said1 and the ,professor thought me a   
wonderful fellow1 for ,i had guessed    
aright4  ,there is a whiskered ,ford    
story which tells that ,mr4 ,ford took a
 new car from his factory and invited a 
visitor to have a spin4  ,they started  
off1 and went seven miles out4  ,then   
the car stopped4  ,ford jumped out and  
lifted the bonnet4  ,good ,lord6 he     
cried1 the engine hasn't been put in6   
,the car must have run seven miles on   

its reputation6  ,i think that books run
 many miles on reputation alone4  ,like 
a snowball the farther a circulation    
rolls the more it gathers to itself4    
,but what is it that makes a book       
popular8  ,the best press notices in the
 world will not send the circulation of 
a book up to a hundred thousand level4  
,what sells a book is talk4  ,scores of 
people said to me3 ,oh1 have you read   
,the ,young ,visitors8  ,i hasten to    
add1 as a ,scot1 that ,i personally did 
not help to increase the circulation2 ,i
 borrowed the book from an enthusiast4  
,talk sells a book1 but we have to      
discover why people talk about ,the     
,young ,visitors and not about--er--,the
 ,booming of ,bunkie4  ,the book that is
 to sell well must be able to touch a   
chord in the crowd heart1 and ,the      
,young ,visitors sold because it touched
 the infantile chord in the crowd heart2
 it brought back the happiest days of   
life1 the schooldays3 again1 its nave   
,malapropisms appealed to the crowd1    

because we are all glad to laugh at the 
social and grammatical errors we have   
made and conveniently forgotten about4  
,bunkie did not reach the hundred       
thousand level because it was too       
clever2 it was a purely intellectual    
essay in wit rather than humour4 ,and   
the crowd distrusts wit1 and that is why
 the witty plays of ,oscar ,wilde are   
seldom produced1 while ,charley's ,aunt 
goes on for ever4  ,i am tempted to go  
on to a comparison of wit with humour1  
but ,i shall only remark that wit is an 
intellectual thing1 whereas humour is   
emotional4  ,humour is elemental1 but   
wit is cultural4  ,without a language   
you could have humour1 but without      
language there could be no wit4         
99      99      99      99      99  ,i  
have just come across a small book      
entitled ,hints on ,school ,discipline1 
by ,ernest ,f4 ,row1 ,b4,sc4  ,boys will
 only respect a master whom they fear1  
he says4  ,i have been preaching this   
doctrine for years 4 4 4 that respect   

always has fear behind it 4 4 4 and it  
pleases me to find that an exponent of  
the old methods should support my       
argument4  ,when ,i began to read the   
book ,i was amazed4  ,good ,lord6 ,i    
cried1 this chap should have published  
his book in the year #ahbj4  ,he        
advocates a system that modern          
psychology has shown to be fatal to the 
child4  ,it is army discipline applied  
to schools4  ,i found it hard to finish 
the book1 but ,i read every word of it  
and then ,i said to myself3 ,the        
majority is on the side of ,row4  ,eton1
 ,harrow1 many elementary teachers would
 agree with him4  ,he is evidently an   
honest sort of fellow1 and he must be   
reckoned with4  ,i must try to see his  
point of view4  ,and ,i think ,i see it4
  ,he accepts current education with its
 set subjects1 time-tables1 order1      
morality1 and he is trying to adapt the 
young teacher to what is established4   
,hence to maintain all these things1 we 
must have stern discipline and swift    

punishment4  ,but ,i wonder if ,row has 
thought of the other side of the        
question2 ,i wonder if he has asked     
himself whether order and time-tables   
and obedience and respect are really    
necessary4  ,i should like to meet him  
and have a chat2 ,i think ,i should like
 him1 and further1 ,i think that ,i     
could convert him to the other way 4 4 4
 if he is under forty4  ,ah6  ,horrid   
thought6  ,is it possible that ,row is  
pulling our legs8  ,no1 he writes as an 
honest man4  ,perhaps he knows all about
 the modern movement2 perhaps he has    
studied ,montessori1 ,freud1 ,jung1     
,homer ,lane1 ,edmond ,holmes1 and found
 that they are all pathetically wrong4  
,mayhap he has proved that the child is 
a sinner4  ,the young teacher should    
never address a boy by his ,christian   
name or nickname1 he says4  ,oh1 surely 
he is pulling our legs6        99       
99      99      99      99  ,at         
intervals during the past few years ,i  
have been puzzled when people           

congratulated me on my village school in
 ,lancashire4  ,i had quite a number of 
misunderstandings on the subject4  ,then
 one day ,i discovered that there was a 
village schoolmaster in ,lancashire     
called ,e4 ,f4 ,o',neill4  ,i wrote him 
telling him that ,i was coming to see   
his school1 and one ,july morning ,i    
alighted at one of the ugliest villages 
in the world1 and ,i walked past        
slag-heaps and all the horrors of       
industrialism to a red building on the  
outskirts4  ,three or four boys were    
digging in the school garden4  ,i walked
 into the school1 and two seconds after 
entering ,i said to myself3 ,e4 ,f4     
,o',neill1 you are a great man6  ,there 
were no desks1 and ,i could see no      
teacher4  ,half-a-dozen children stood  
round a table weighing things and       
cutting things4  ,what's this8 ,i asked4
  ,the shop1 said a girl1 and after a   
little time ,i grasped the idea4 ,you   
have paste-board coins1 and you come to 
the shop and buy a pound of butter      

7plasticene71 two pounds of sugar       
7sand71 and a bottle of ,yorkshire      
,relish 7a brown mixture unrecognisable 
to me74  ,you pay your sovereign and the
 shop-keeper gives you the change1      
remarks on the likelihood of the        
weather's keeping up and turns to the   
next customer4  ,i walked on and found a
 boy writing4  ,hullo1 sonny1 what are  
you on8  ,my novel1 he said1 and showed 
me the beginning of chapter ,,xii4  ,a  
young man came forward1 a slim youth    
with twinkling eyes4  ,e4 ,f4 ,o',neill8
  ,a4 ,s4 ,neill8  ,we shook hands1 and 
then he began to talk4  ,i wanted to    
tell him that his school was a pure     
delight1 but ,i couldn't get a word in  
edgeways4 ,if anything1 he was          
over-explanatory1 but ,i pardoned him1  
for ,i realised that the poor man's life
 must be spent in explaining himself to 
unbelievers4  ,i disliked his tacit     
classing of me with the infidel1 and ,i 
indignantly took the side of the infidel
 and asked him questions4 ,then he gave 

me of his best4  ,he is a great man4  ,i
 don't think he has any theoretical     
knowledge1 and ,i believe that anyone   
could trip him up over ,freud or ,jung1 
,montessori or ,froebel1 ,dewey or      
,homer ,lane2 but the man seems to know 
it all by instinct or intuition4  ,to   
him creation is everything4  ,i was half
 afraid that he might have the typical  
crank's belief in imposing his taste on 
the pupils1 and ,i mentioned my doubt4  
,no1 he said1 we have a gramophone with 
fox-trots1 ragtimes1 ,beethoven and     
,melba1 and the children nearly always  
choose the best records4  ,love of      
beauty is a real thing in this school4  
,the playground is full of bonny corners
 with flowers and bushes4  ,the school  
writing books are bound in artistic     
wallpaper by the children1 and hand-made
 frames enclose reproductions of good   
pictures on the walls4  ,i saw no       
corporate teaching1 and ,i should have  
asked ,o',neill if he had any4  ,if he  
hasn't ,i think he is wrong1 for the    

other way--the learn-by-doing individual
 way--starves the group spirit4  ,the   
class-teaching system has many faults1  
and ,o',neill seems to have abolished   
spoon-feeding1 but the class has one    
merit--it is a crowd4 ,each child       
measures himself against the others1 not
 necessarily in competition4  ,perhaps  
it is the psychological effect of having
 an audience that ,i am trying to       
praise4  ,yes1 that is it3 the          
individual-work way is like a rehearsal 
of a play to empty seats2 the class-way 
is like a performance before a crowded  
house4  ,it is a projection of one's ego
 outward4  ,this method1 said ,o',neill1
 may be out-of-date in a month4  ,i     
think highly of him for these words     
alone4  ,he has no fixed beliefs about  
methods of study2 he himself learns by  
doing1 and to-morrow will be cheerfully 
willing to scrap the method he is using 
to-day4  ,if the ideal teacher is the   
man who is always learning1 then        
,o',neill comes pretty near that ideal4 

,i wish that every teacher in ,britain  
could see his school4  ,the big problem 
for the heretical teacher is the problem
 of order1 or rather of disorder4  ,when
 a child is free from authority1 he     
usually leaves his path untidy2 he      
leaves his chisels on the bench or the  
ground2 he strews the floor with papers2
 he throws his books all over the room4 
,now ,o',neill's school was not untidy1 
and ,i marvelled4  ,oh1 the kiddies look
 after that1 he explained4  ,they have  
voluntary workers among themselves who  
do all that1 and if a child does not do 
his job1 the others naturally complain3 
',why did you take it on if you aren't  
going to do it properly8'  ,but somehow 
,i am not convinced2 ,i want to know    
more about this business4  ,to find so  
highly developed a social sense in small
 children runs dead against all my      
experience4  ,i must write to ,o',neill 
for further information4        99      
99      99      99      99  ,on         
re-reading the pages of this book ,i    

feel like throwing it on the fire4  ,i  
find myself disagreeing with the        
statements ,i made a few weeks ago4     
,when ,i began to write it ,i was a more
 or less complete ,freudian1 and in an  
airy fashion ,i explained away my       
actions4  ,why should pale blue be my   
favourite colour8  ,i asked myself this 
when ,i painted my cycle blue1 and ,i   
found a ready answer in a reminiscence 4
 4 4 my first sweetheart wore a blue    
tam-o'-shanter4  ,this is called the    
nothing but psychology4  ,do ,i dream of
 a train8  ,quite simple6  ,it is merely
 nothing but a sexual symbol6  ,life is 
too complex for a nothing but           
psychology4  ,last night a girl told me 
a sexual dream she had had1 but when she
 gave her associations we found that the
 deep meaning of the dream had nothing  
to do with sex4 ,freud says that about  
every dream is the mark of the beast1   
but then ,i think he believes in        
original sin4  ,i have been thinking a  
lot recently about the psychology of    

flogging4 ,it is generally stated that  
the flogger is a sexual pervert1 a      
,sadist1 and undoubtedly there are      
pathological cases where men find sexual
 gratification in inflicting or in      
watching the infliction of pain4  ,in   
the pathological case the gratification 
is conscious1 but ,i believe that many  
respectable parents and teachers find an
 unconscious gratification4  ,it is     
absurd to say to a man like ,macdonald3 
,your punishing is 'nothing but'        
,sadism4  ,yet ,i think that a little   
test might decide the matter4  ,if the  
accused flogger is shocked or indignant 
at the idea ,i should be inclined to    
think that the accusation was a just    
one4  ,if ,i say to ,simpson3 ,excuse my
 mentioning it1 old man1 but ,i don't   
think you love your wife1 he will laugh 
heartily1 for he has been married for a 
month only1 and is still very much in   
love4  ,his laugh shows that his love is
 real2 my rude remark touches no chord  
in his unconscious4  ,but suppose ,i    

make a similar remark to ,smith1 who has
 been very much married for ten years6  
,he will hit me in the eye1 thereby     
betraying the fact that my remark       
touched what his unconscious knows to be
 true4  ,his blow is physically directed
 to me1 but psychically he is hitting to
 defend his conscious from his          
unconscious4  ,hence if a flogger is    
angry when ,i accuse him of being a     
,sadist1 ,i guess that he is a ,sadist4 
,i tried the experiment on ,macdonald4  
,he shook his head sadly4  ,poor chap1  
he said feelingly1 you're daft6  ,right6
 ,i said1 you aren't a ,sadist1 anyway1 
,mac4  ,you must flog because it is your
 method of self-assertion4  ,as ,i've   
told you many times1 you strap kids     
because wielding a strap is your        
childish way of showing your power4     
,then ,mac became angry1 and when ,i    
hinted that my remarks must have hit the
 bull's-eye 4 4 4 he laughed again4  ,he
 is a baffling study in psychology4     
,you don't know much about it1 old chap1

 he said genially4  ,hardly anything at 
all1 ,i said with true modesty1 only ,i 
know one thing about you1 and that is   
that the fault always lies in yourself4 
,when you flog ,tom ,murray1 you are    
really chastising the ,tom ,murray in   
yourself 4 4 4 that is1 the part that   
your wife knows so well--the part of you
 that leaves the new graip out in the   
rain all night1 that rebels against the 
authority of the ,school ,board and the 
inspectorate4  ,tom is being crucified  
for your transgressions4  ,barrie1      
wizard as he is1 failed to understand   
the full significance of ,shakespeare's 
line3 ,the fault1 dear ,brutus1 lies not
 in our stars1 but in ourselves4        
99      99      99      99      99  ,the
 opposite of the ,sadist is the         
,masochist--the person who finds sexual 
gratification in being beaten or        
bullied4  ,when ',arriet proudly boasts 
about the black eye that ',arry gave her
 on ,saturday night1 she is being       
masochistic1 and the woman who likes to 

be bullied by the strong1 silent man is 
likewise a masochist4  ,i do not say    
nothing but a masochist1 because she is 
also a ,sadist1 for ,sadism and         
,masochism are complementary in the same
 person4  ,it is an understood fact that
 many people find joy in suffering1 and 
,i can recollect feeling something akin 
to joy when the dentist1 before the days
 of the local anaesthetic1 used to lay  
hold on my molars4  ,hence ,i look back 
to the day when ,i whacked ,peter ,smith
 for cruelty to a calf1 and ,i          
acknowledge that ,i was wrong4  ,i      
recall explaining to him that ,i wanted 
him to realise what suffering meant1 but
 ,i was completely mistaken4  ,if ,peter
 were a ,sadist in his cruelty1 my      
cruelty to him was giving unconscious   
gratification to the ,masochistic part  
of him4  ,if his cruelty to the calf was
 due to his self-assertion again ,i did 
the wrong thing1 for the fear evoked by 
my strap merely inhibited his desire to 
assert himself in cudgelling calves4  ,i

 think now that there was nothing to be 
done2 his cruelty showed that his whole 
education had been wrong4  ,had he been 
allowed to create all the way up from   
one week old he would have applied his  
interest to making rabbit-hutches       
instead of to beating calves4  ,i       
remember a questioner at one of my      
lectures4  ,i had been trying to        
elaborate the release theory1 and had   
said that a boy should be encouraged to 
make a noise so that he will release all
 his interest in noise as power4  ,if a 
boy liked torturing cats1 would you     
encourage him on the theory that        
suppression by an adult would cause the 
child to retain his interest in         
torturing cats8  ,certainly not1 ,i     
said1 and the lady crowed4  ,i do       
dislike questioners at any time1 but    
when they crow 4 4 4 46  ,however1 ,i   
tried to hide the murder in my heart by 
smiling4  ,what would you do8 she asked 
sweetly4  ,i don't know1 madam1 ,i said1
 but ,i can make a rapid guess 4 4 4  ,i

 very probably would use the toe of my  
boot on him1 thereby showing that my own
 interest in cruelty was still alive4   
,but five minutes later ,i should try to
 discover what was at the back of the   
boy's mind4  ,not long ago ,i studied a 
small boy whose chief pleasure was in   
pulling bees' wings off4  ,i never      
mentioned bees to him1 but ,i got him to
 talk about himself4  ,he was suffering 
from a deep hatred of his teacher1 and  
he had a bad inferiority complex4  ,he  
feared to play games like football and  
hockey because of his sense of          
inferiority4  ,all that was wrong with  
him was that he was regressing4  ,life  
was too difficult for him1 and he took  
refuge in his infantile past2 his       
pulling off wings was the               
destructiveness of the infant4  ,but the
 important thing to remember is that    
destructiveness is simply               
constructiveness gone wrong4 ,the child 
is born good1 and all his instincts are 
to do good4  ,bad behaviour is the      

result of thwarted desire to do good4   
,this is shown in the case of ,tommy on 
page #aae4        99      99      99    
99      99  ,at one time ,i was         
absolutely certain that the ,great ,war 
was caused by economic factors2 ,british
 and ,german capital were competing1 and
 the losing party took up the sword4  ,i
 am not so certain now4  ,it may be that
 the cataclysm was a natural ebullition 
of human nature1 and as a cause the     
economic rivalry may have been just as  
insignificant as the murder of the      
,archduke4  ,during the last few decades
 education has been almost wholly       
intellectual and material2 intellectual 
education gave us the don1 and material 
education gave us the cotton-spinner4   
,the emotional and the spiritual in     
mankind had no outlet4  ,in the         
unconscious of man there is a ,god and a
 ,devil1 and intellectual activities    
afford no means of expression to either4
  ,and when any godlike or devilish     
libido can find no outlet it regresses  

to infantile primitive forms2 thus1     
while the brain of man was concerned    
with mathematics and logic1 the heart of
 man was seeking primitive              
things--cruelty1 hate1 and blood4  ,it  
may be then that the war was the direct 
result of the world's bad system of     
education4  ,no boy will destroy        
property if he is free to create        
property1 and no nation will take to    
killing if it is free to be creative4   
,intellectual education allows no       
freedom for the creative impulse2 it not
 only starves the creative impulse but  
it drives it into rebellion4  ,an outlet
 is always a door to purification4  ,the
 old men who sat at home hated the ,hun 
because their libido was being bottled  
up1 but the young men who were using up 
their libido in fighting talked         
cheerfully of ,old ,fritz4  ,the chained
 dog soon becomes savage1 and the       
chained libido reverts to savagery also4
  ,i have often said that the outrages  
of the ,german troops in ,belgium became

 understandable to me when ,i studied a 
,scots school where suppressive         
discipline turned good boys into demons4
  ,the brutality of the ,german army was
 a natural result of the brutality of   
their discipline4  ,so is it in the     
individual soul1 and in the national    
soul4 ,intellectualism and materialism  
were the ,prussian drill-sergeants who  
enslaved the emotional life of the      
citizen and of the nation4  ,war was a  
means of releasing this pent-up emotion4
  ,the ultimate cure for war is the     
releasing of the beast in the heart of  
mankind 4 4 4 not the releasing after   
chaining him up1 but the releasing of   
the beast from the beginning4           
,personally ,i do not believe that he is
 a wild beast until we make him one by  
chaining him2 he is primitive and animal
 and amoral1 but ,i believe that by kind
 treatment we can make him our ally in  
living a goodly life4  ,the ,devil is   
merely a chained ,god4  ,the problem for
 man and for mankind is to reconcile the

 ,god and the ,devil in himself4  ,the  
saint represses the devil2 the sinner   
represses the god4  ,the atheist cries3 
,there is no ,god6 because he has       
repressed the ,god in himself4  ,then1  
again1 many people project their        
personal devil2 the men who shouted     
,hang the ,kaiser6 were subjectively    
crying ,hang the ,devil in me6  ,who and
 what is this devil we carry in our     
hearts8  ,we cannot tame him unless we  
can know him4  ,the ,freudians would say
 that he is the primitive unconscious1  
the tree-dweller in us4  ,but that      
explanation is not enough for me4  ,the 
tiger has no devil in him1 and why      
should our remote savage ancestors leave
 us a devil as legacy8  ,yet the tiger  
is a devil whenever man formulates a law
 against killing2 the man-eater becomes 
bad because he is a danger to man1 and  
because the tiger is bad it is assumed  
that man is good4  ,the ox that is      
slaughtered for our dinners might well  
look upon man as its special objective  

devil4  ,i have often argued that it is 
,authority that makes the beast in      
children a wild beast4  ,that is true1  
but it does not go down to first causes4
  ,why do adults exercise authority8    
,to keep down the devil in themselves1  
the beast that their parents and        
teachers made wild by authority4  ,truly
 a vicious circle6  ,but the devil is   
the cause of authority in the beginning4
  ,since there is no devil in the tiger 
and the ox1 the animalism of man cannot 
be his devil4  ,but man made his        
animalism a devil when he began to have 
ideals4  ,then it was that he began to  
talk of crucifying the flesh2 then it   
was that the spirit was willing but the 
flesh was weak4 ,the devil in man is the
 negative of man's ego-ideal4  ,the     
ethical self says that honesty is good1 
and dishonesty comes to be of the devil2
 it says that love is good1 and hate    
then becomes devilish4  ,no ego-ideal1  
no devil4  ,the ox has no ego-ideal2    
therefore it has no devil4  ,man        

invented the devil to account for his   
failures4  ,this brings me to the       
question3 why should man want to have an
 ego-ideal8  ,why should he praise      
self-sacrifice1 love1 charity1 honesty1 
unselfishness1 while he contemns hats1  
murder1 cruelty1 stealing1 selfishness8 
,it might be argued that he praises     
those attributes that make for the good 
of the herd1 but ,i cannot take this    
argument as final4  ,rather am ,i       
inclined to look for the answer in what 
we vaguely call the divine4  ,i think   
that there is a power 4 4 4 call it ,god
 or intuition or the superconscious or  
what-not 4 4 4 that draws man toward    
higher things4  ,this spark of the      
divine raises man above the beast of the
 field1 but yesterday he was the beast  
of the field1 and like the nouveau      
riche1 he scorns his humble origins4  ,i
 am forced to conclude that wars will   
not cease until man realises that his   
ego-ideal must be capable of being the  
working partner of his primitive        

animalism4  ,when that time comes man   
will know that he is neither god nor    
devil1 but 4 4 4 mere man4        99    
99      99      99      99  ,i am       
spending my days wandering round ,london
 suburbs looking for a school4  ,of an  
evening ,i sit and think about how ,i   
shall furnish it4 ,there will be no     
desks2 instead there will be tables for 
writing and drawing on1 chairs of all   
descriptions--arm-chairs1 deck-chairs1  
straight backed chairs1 stools4  ,the   
children will make the tables and       
stools1 and we may make a combined      
effort to make and upholster an         
arm-chair4  ,then we must have at least 
one typewriter1 not for office use1 but 
for the children's use4  ,the children  
will use it to type their novels and    
poems1 and ,i think they would be       
tempted to type out poems from ,keats   
and ,coleridge1 binding their own       
anthologies in leather or coloured      
paper4  ,there will be no school readers
 and no school poetry books4  ,i hope   

that with the aid of the typewriter each
 child will make his own selection of   
prose and poetry4  ,the wall decorations
 will be left to the children1 and if   
they bring bad1 sentimental prints from 
the ,christmas numbers ,i shall say     
nothing when they hang them up4  ,but as
 an active member of the community1 ,i  
shall bring reproductions of the work of
 ,rembrandt1 ,velasquez1 ,angelo1       
,augustus ,john1 ,cezanne1 ,nevinson2 ,i
 shall buy ,colour every month4  ,so    
with music4  ,i shall sing ,eliza ,jane 
with them if they want to sing ,eliza   
,jane1 but ,i shall bring to their      
notice ,to ,music 7,schumann71 ,blake's 
,jerusalem1 and the bonny old ,english  
songs like ,golden ,slumbers1 ,now is   
the ,month of ,maying1 ,polly ,oliver4  
,then a gramophone is a necessity1 and  
all kinds of records will be            
necessary--,beethoven1 ,stravinsky1     
,rimski-,korsikoff1 ,harry ,lauder1 ,fox
 ,trots1 ,sousa4  ,o',neill told me that
 his ,lancashire kiddies have tired of  

ragtime1 and are now playing classical  
music only4  ,personally1 ,i haven't    
reached that standard of taste yet2 ,i  
still have ,fox ,trot moods4  ,i also   
want a player-piano--an ,angelus1 if    
possible4  ,now for the library4  ,i    
shall leave the choice of periodicals to
 the community1 and ,i expect to find   
them select a list of this              
kind3--,scout1 ,boy's ,own ,paper1      
,girl's ,own ,paper1 ,popular           
,mechanics1 ,my ,magazine1 ,punch1      
,chips1 ,comic ,cuts1 ,tit-,bits1       
,answers1 ,strand1 ,sketch1 ,sphere4    
,it will be interesting to watch the    
career of ,chips2 ,i will not be        
surprised if the community tires of     
,chips in a month4  ,our book library   
will be stocked from the children's     
homes1 ,i fancy4 ,each child will bring 
his or her favourite novel1 and gladly  
hand it round4  ,i shall certainly hand 
on my own fiction library3--,conan      
,doyle1 ,wells1 ,jack ,london1 ,rider   
,haggard1 ,cutcliffe ,hyne1 ,guy        

,boothby1 ,barrie1 ,o4 ,henry1 ,leacock1
 ,jacobs1 ,leonard ,merrick1 ,seton     
,merriman1 ,stanley ,weyman1 and a host 
of others4  ,no1 this won't do6  ,how   
can ,i furnish before my self-governing 
school decides what furniture it will   
have8  ,the children may demand desks   
and time-tables1 but ,i do not think it 
likely4  ,anyhow1 ,i am counting my     
chickens before they are hatched4       
,,xiv4  ,i finish this book in the place
 where ,i began it1 in ,forfarshire1 but
 not in ,tarbonny ,village4  ,hustling  
,herbert ,jenkins sent me the galley    
proofs this morning with an urgent      
demand that ,i should return them at    
once4  ,i do dislike publishers4  ,at   
first ,i took them at their own         
valuation3 ,i believed what they said4  
,machines waiting1 ,jenkins would wire4 
,send ,,ms4 at once4  ,and ,i1 simple   
,i1 would sit up late correcting proofs4
  ,i know better now4  ,i know that     
,jenkins always divides time by #bj4    
,his at once means that twenty days     

hence he will say to his ,secretary3    
,that new book of ,neill's 4 4 4 has it 
gone to the printer yet8  ,and his      
,secretary will 'phone down to the      
office secretary and say3 ,you've got to
 send ,neill's new book to the printer4 
,then this lady will order the          
office-boy to take the ,,ms4 to the     
printer 4 4 4 and ,i bet the little     
devil reads ,deadwood ,dick on the      
,boomerang ,prairie as he crawls to the 
printer's office with my masterpiece    
under his arm4  ,hence1 understanding   
,jenkins1 ,i tossed the proofs into a   
corner this morning1 and went out to    
continue the game of ring quoits that   
,nellie and ,i had to give up as        
darkness fell last night4  ,nellie is a 
,dundee lassie of thirteen and she is   
spending her holidays with her auntie   
here4  ,nellie won1 and we sat down on  
the bank and ,i began to ask her about  
her school-life4  ,i dinna like the     
school1 and ,i wish ,i was left1 she    
said4  ,tell me why you dislike it1     

,nellie4  ,if ye speak ye get the strap4
  ,what6 ,i cried1 are you never allowed
 to speak8  ,only at playtime1 she      
replied4  ,and ye never get less than   
six scuds4  ,and it was only the other  
day that a lady wrote me saying that    
when ,i preach against ,prussianism in  
schools ,i am merely resuscitating a    
dead bogey for the purpose of knocking  
it down4  ,i get quite a lot of         
information of schools from children4   
,i remember when ,i was in ,lyme ,regis 
last ,easter ,i went out sketching one  
day4  ,as ,i passed a village school a  
troupe of happy children came out4  ,joy
 lit up their faces4  ,the ideal school6
 ,i cried1 and stopped to speak to them4
  ,tell me1 children1 tell me why you   
have laughter in your eyes1 ,i said1    
tell me of your happy school4  ,the     
oldest boy grinned4  ,master's gone off 
for the day to a funeral1 he said4  ,i  
walked on deep in thought4  ,nellie     
dislikes school4  ,what a tragedy4  ,she
 is a dear sweet child with kind eyes   

and a bonny smile4  ,she spoke frankly  
to me at first but when ,i told her that
 ,i was a teacher she looked at me with 
fear and 7,i smiled at this7 dropped her
 ,dundee dialect and answered me in     
,school ,english4  ,i had to throw      
plantain heads at her for a full five   
minutes before the look of fear left her
 eyes and her dialect returned4  ,i     
dinna believe ye are a teacher1 she said
 to-night4  ,why not8  ,ye're no like   
ane1 she said hesitatingly4  ,ye're     
ower--ower daft4  ,but why shouldn't a  
teacher be daft8 ,i asked4  ,they shud  
be respectable1 she said1 or the        
children winna respect them4  ,i looked 
alarmed4  ,what6 ,i cried1 don't you    
respect me8  ,she laughed gaily4  ,no6  
she cried1 then she added seriously3    
,but ,i'd like to be at your schule4    
,she returns to ,dundee to-morrow1 to a 
class of fifty1 where silence reigns4   
,poor ,nellie6  ,what worries me is that
 when ,nellie's teacher reads this book 
she will most probably agree with       

,nellie's remark that ,i'm daft4  ,but  
she won't mean what ,nellie meant4  ,a  
telegraph girl approached4  ,machines   
are waiting4--,jenkins4  ,nellie looked 
anxious4  ,that's twa telegrams ye've   
got the day1 she said4  ,is onybody     
deid8  ,i looked at the words on the    
telegraph form4  ,no1 ,nellie1          
unfortunately no6 ,i said slowly1 and ,i
 went in to read my galley proofs4      
,,the ,,end4