,,the ,,shadow ,,on ,,the ,,dial ,,and ,,other ,,essays ,by ,ambrose ,bierce ,edited by ,s4 ,o4 ,,howes ,copyright #aiji ,a ,,note ,,by ,,the ,,author ,,it ,,was expected that this book would be included in my ,collected ,works now in course of publication1 but unforeseen delay in the date of publication has made this impossible4 ,the selection of its contents was not made by me1 but the choice has my approval and the publication my authority4 ,,ambrose ,,bierce4 ,washington1 ,d4 ,c4 ,march #ad4 #aiji4 ,,preface ,,the note of prophecy6 ,it sounds sharp and clear in many a vibrant line1 in many a sonorous sentence of the essays herein collected for the first time4 ,written for various ,californian journals and periodicals and extending over a period of more than a quarter of a century1 these opinions and reflections express the refined judgment of one who has seen1 not as through a glass darkly1 the trend of events4 ,and having seen the portentous effigy that we are making of the ,liberty our fathers created1 he has written of it in ,english that is the despair of those who1 thinking less clearly1 escape not the pitfalls of diffuseness and obscurity4 ,for ,mr4 ,bierce1 as did ,flaubert1 holds that the right word is necessary for the conveyance of the right thought and his sense of word values rarely betrays him into error4 ,but with an odd--,i might almost say perverse--indifference to his own reputation1 he has allowed these writings to lie fallow in the old files of papers1 while others1 possessing the knack of publicity1 years later tilled the soil with some degree of success4 ,president ,hadley1 of ,yale ,university1 before the ,candlelight ,club of ,denver1 ,january #h1 #aijj1 advanced1 as novel and original1 ostracism as an effective punishment of social highwaymen4 ,this address attracted widespread attention1 and though ,professor ,hadley's remedy has not been generally adopted it is regarded as his own4 ,mr4 ,bierce wrote in ,the ,examiner1 ,january #bj1 #ahie1 as follows3 ,we are plundered because we have no particular aversion to plunderers4 ,the 'predatory rich' 7to use ,mr4 ,stead's felicitous term7 put their hands into our pockets because they know that1 virtually1 none of us will refuse to take their hands in our own afterwards1 in friendly salutation4 ,if notorious rascality entailed social outlawry the only rascals would be those properly--and proudly--belonging to the 'criminal class4' ,again1 ,edwin ,markham has attracted to himself no little attention by advocating the application of the ,golden ,rule in temporal affairs as a cure for evils arising from industrial discontent ,in this he1 too1 has been anticipated4 ,mr4 ,bierce1 writing in ,the ,examiner1 ,march #be1 #ahid1 said3 ,when a people would avert want and strife1 or having them1 would restore plenty and peace1 this noble commandment offers the only means--all other plans for safety and relief are as vain as dreams1 and as empty as the crooning of fools4 ,and1 behold1 here it is3 ',all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you1 do ye even so to them4' ,rev4 ,charles ,m4 ,sheldon created a nine days' wonder1 or rather a seven1 by conducting for a week a newspaper as he conceived ,christ would have done4 ,some years previously1 ,june #bh1 #ahif1 to be exact1 the author of these essays wrote3 ,that is my ultimate and determining test of right--',what1 under the circumstances1 would ,christ have done8'--the ,christ of the ,new ,testament1 not the ,christ of the commentators1 theologians1 priests and parsons4 ,i am sure that ,mr4 ,bierce does not begrudge any of these gentlemen the acclaim they have received by enunciating his ideas1 and ,i mention the instances here merely to forestall the filing of any other claim to priority4 ,the essays cover a wide range of subjects1 embracing among other things government1 dreams1 writers of dialect1 and dogs1 and always the author's point of view is fresh1 original and non-,philistine4 ,whether one cares to agree with him or not1 one will find vast entertainment in his wit that illuminates with lightning flashes all he touches4 ,other qualities ,i forbear allusion to1 having already encroached too much upon the time of the reader4 ,s4 ,o4 ,,howes4 ,,the ,,shadow ,,on ,,the ,,dial ,i4 ,,there is a deal of confusion and uncertainty in the use of the words ,socialist1 ,anarchist1 and ,nihilist4 ,even the '#ast himself commonly knows with as little accuracy what he is as the rest of us know why he is4 ,the ,socialist believes that most human affairs should be regulated and managed by the ,state--the ,government--that is to say1 the majority4 ,our own system has many ,socialistic features and the trend of republican government is all that way4 ,the ,anarchist is the kind of lunatic who believes that all crime is the effect of laws forbidding it--as the pig that breaks into the kitchen garden is created by the dog that chews its ear6 ,the ,anarchist favors abolition of all law and frequently belongs to an organization that secures his allegiance by solemn oaths and dreadful penalties4 ,nihilism is a name given by ,turgenieff to the general body of ,russian discontent which finds expression in antagonizing authority and killing authorities4 ,constructive politics would seem1 as yet1 to be a cut above the ,nihilist's intelligence2 he is essentially a destructionary4 ,he is so diligently engaged in unweeding the soil that he has not given a thought to what he will grow there4 ,nihilism may be described as a policy of assassination tempered by reflections upon ,siberia4 ,american sympathy with it is the offspring of an unholy union between the tongue of a liar and the ear of a dupe4 ,upon examination it will be seen that political dissent1 when it takes any form more coherent than the mere brute dissatisfaction of a mind that does not know what it wants to want1 finds expression in one of but two ways--in ,socialism or in ,anarchism4 ,whatever methods one may think will best substitute for a system gradually evolved from our needs and our natures a system existing only in the minds of dreamers1 one is bound to choose between these two dreams4 ,yet such is the intellectual delinquency of many who most strenuously denounce the system that we have that we not infrequently find the same man advocating in one breath1 ,socialism1 in the next1 ,anarchism4 ,indeed1 few of these sons of darkness know that even as coherent dreams the two are incompatible4 ,with ,anarchy triumphant the ,socialist would be a thousand years further from realization of his hope than he is today4 ,set up ,socialism on a ,monday and on ,tuesday the country would be en fte1 gaily hunting down ,anarchists4 ,there would be little difficulty in trailing them1 for they have not so much sense as a deer1 which1 running down the wind1 sends its tell-tale fragrance on before4 ,socialism and ,anarchism are the two extremes of political thought2 they are parts of the same dung1 in the sense that the terminal points of a road are parts of the same road4 ,between them1 about midway1 lies the system that we have the happiness to endure4 ,it is a blend of ,socialism and ,anarchism in about equal parts3 all that is not one is the other4 ,everything serving the common interest1 or looking to the welfare of the whole people1 is socialistic in the strictest sense of the word as understood by the ,socialist ,whatever tends to private advantage or advances an individual or class interest at the expense of a public one1 is anarchistic4 ,cooperation is ,socialism2 competition is ,anarchism4 ,competition carried to its logical conclusion 7which only cooperation prevents or can prevent7 would leave no law in force no property possible no life secure4 ,of course the words cooperation and competition are not here used in a merely industrial and commercial sense2 they are intended to cover the whole field of human activity4 ,two voices singing a duet--that is cooperation--,socialism4 ,two voices singing each a different tune and trying to drown each other--that is competition--,anarchism3 each is a law unto itself--that is to say1 it is lawless4 ,everything that ought to be done the ,socialist hopes to do by associated endeavor1 as an army wins battles2 ,anarchism is socialistic in its means only3 by cooperation it tries to render cooperation impossible--combines to kill combination4 ,its method says to its purpose3 ,thou fool6 ,,ii4 ,everything foretells the doom of authority4 ,the killing of kings is no new industry2 it is as ancient as the race4 ,always and everywhere persons in high place have been the assassin's prey4 ,we have ourselves lost three ,presidents by murder1 and will doubtless lose many another before the book of ,american history is closed4 ,if anything is new in this activity of the regicide it is found in the choice of victims4 ,the contemporary avenger slays1 not the merely great1 but the good and the inoffensive--an ,american ,president who had struck the chains from millions of slaves2 a ,russian ,czar who against the will and work of his own powerful nobles had freed their serfs2 a ,french ,president from whom the ,french people had received nothing but good2 a powerless ,austrian ,empress1 whose weight of sorrows touched the world to tears2 a blameless ,italian ,king beloved of his people2 such is a part of the recent record of the regicide whose every entry is a tale of infamy unrelieved by one circumstance of justice1 decency or good intention4 ,and the great ,brazilian liberator died in exile4 ,this recent uniformity of malevolence in the choice of victims is not without significance4 ,it points unmistakably to two facts3 first1 that the selections are made1 not by the assassins themselves1 but by some central control inaccessible to individual preference and unaffected by the fortunes of its instruments2 second1 that there is a constant purpose to manifest an antagonism1 not to any individual ruler1 but to rulers2 not to any system of government1 but to ,government4 ,it is a war1 not upon those in authority1 but upon ,authority4 ,the issue is defined1 the alignment made1 the battle set3 ,chaos against ,order1 ,anarchy against ,law4 ,m4 ,vaillant1 the ,french gentleman who lacked a good opinion of the law1 but was singularly rich in the faith that by means of gunpowder and flying nails humanity could be brought into a nearer relation with reason1 righteousness and the will of ,god1 is said to have been nearly devoid of a nose4 ,of this affliction ,m4 ,vaillant made but slight account1 as was natural1 seeing that but for a brief season did he need even so much of nose as remained to him4 ,yet before its effacement by premature disruption of his own petard it must have had a certain value to him--he would not wantonly have renounced it2 and had he foreseen its extinction by the bomb the iron views of that controversial device would probably have been denied expression4 ,albeit 7so say the scientists7 doomed to eventual elimination from the scheme of being1 and to the ,anarchist even now something of an accusing conscience1 the nose is indubitably an excellent thing in man4 ,this brings us to consideration of the human nose as a measure of human happiness--not the size of it1 but its numbers2 its frequent or infrequent occurrence upon the human face4 ,we have grown so accustomed to the presence of this feature that we take it as a matter of course2 its absence is one of the most notable phenomena of our observation--an occasion long to be remembered1 as the society reporter hath it ,yet abundant testimony showeth that but two or three centuries ago noseless men and women were so common all over ,europe as to provoke but little comment when seen and 7in their disagreeable way7 heard ,they abounded in all the various walks of life3 there were honored burgomasters without noses1 wealthy merchants1 great scholars1 artists1 teachers4 ,amongst the humbler classes nasal destitution was almost as frequent as pecuniary--in the humblest of all the most common of all4 ,writing in the thirteenth century1 ,salsius mentions the retainers and servants of certain ,suabian noblemen as having hardly a whole ear among them--for until a comparatively recent period man's tenure of his ears was even more precarious than that of his nose4 ,in #adcf1 when a ,bavarian woman1 ,agnes ,bemaurian1 wife of ,duke ,albert the ,pious1 was dropped off the bridge at ,prague1 she persisted in rising to the surface and trying to escape2 so the executioner gave himself the trouble to put a long pole into her hair and hold her under4 ,a contemporary account of the matter hints that her disorderly behavior at so solemn a moment was due to the pain caused by removal of her nose2 but as her execution was by order of her own father it seems more probable that the extreme penalty of the law was not imposed4 ,without a doubt1 though1 possession of a nose was an uncommon 7and rather barren7 distinction in those days among persons designated to assist the executioner1 as the condemned were civilly called4 ,nor1 as already said1 was it any too common among persons not as yet consecrated to that service3 ,few1 says ,salsius1 have two noses1 and many have none4 ,man's firmer grasp upon his nose in this our day and generation is not altogether due to invention of the handkerchief4 ,the genesis and development of his right to his own nose have been accompanied with a corresponding advance in the possessory rights all along the line of his belongings--his ears1 his fingers and toes1 his skin1 his bones1 his wife and her young1 his clothes and his labor--everything that is 7and that once was not7 his4 ,in ,europe and ,america today these things can not be taken away from even the humblest and poorest without somebody wanting to know the reason why4 ,in every decade the nation that is most powerful upon the seas incurs voluntarily a vast expense of blood and treasure in suppressing a slave trade which in no way is injurious to her interests1 nor to the interests of any but the slaves4 ,so ,freedom broadens slowly down1 and today even the lowliest incapable of all ,nature's aborted has a nose that he dares to call his own and bite off at his own sweet will4 ,unfortunately1 with an unthinkable fatuity we permit him to be told that but for the very agencies that have put him in possession he could successfully assert a ,god-given and world-old right to the noses of others4 ,at present the honest fellow is mainly engaged in refreshing himself upon his own nose1 consuming that comestible with avidity and precision2 but the ,vaillants1 ,ravechols1 ,mosts and ,willeys are pointing his appetite to other snouts than his1 and inspiring him with rhinophagic ambition4 ,meantime the rest of us are using those imperiled organs to snore with4 ',tis a fine1 resonant and melodious snore1 but it is not going to last3 there is to be a rude awakening4 ,we shall one day get our eyes open to the fact that scoundrels like ,vaillant are neither few nor distant4 ,we shall learn that our blind dependence upon the magic of words is a fatuous error2 that the fortuitous arrangement of consonants and vowels which we worship as ,liberty is of slight efficacy in disarming the lunatic brandishing a bomb4 ,liberty1 indeed6 ,the murderous wretch loves it a deal better than we1 and wants more of it4 ,liberty6 one almost sickens of the word1 so quick and glib it is on every lip--so destitute of meaning4 ,there is no such thing as abstract liberty2 it is not even thinkable4 ,if you ask me1 ,do you favor liberty8 ,i reply1 ,liberty for whom to do what8 ,just now ,i distinctly favor the liberty of the law to cut off the noses of anarchists caught red-handed or red-tongued4 ,if they go in for mutilation let them feel what it is like4 ,if they are not satisfied with the way that things have been going on since the wife of ,duke ,albert the ,pious was held under water with a pole1 and since the servitors of the ,suabian nobleman cherished their vestigial ears1 it is to be presumed that they favor reversion to that happy state4 ,there is grave objection1 but if we must we will4 ,let us begin 7with moderation7 by reverting them4 ,i favor mutilation for anarchists convicted of killing or inciting to kill--mutilation followed by death4 ,for those who merely deny the right and expediency of law1 plain mutilation--which might advantageously take the form of removal of the tongue4 ,why not8 ,where is the injustice8 ,surely he who denies men's right to make laws will not invoke the laws that they have wickedly made6 ,that were to say that they must not protect themselves1 yet are bound to protect him4 ,what6 if ,i beat him will he call the useless and mischievous constabulary8 ,if ,i draw out his tongue shall he 7in the sign-language7 demand it back1 and failing of restitution 7for surely ,i should cut it clean away7 shall he have the law on me--the naughty law1 instrument of the oppressor8 ,why8 that goes neare to be fonny6 ,two human beings can not live together in peace without laws--laws innumerable4 ,everything that either1 in consideration of the other's wish or welfare1 abstains from is inhibited by law1 tacit or expressed4 ,if there were in all the world none but they--if neither had come with any sense of obligation toward the other1 both clean from creation1 with nothing but brains to direct their conduct--every hour would evolve an understanding1 that is to say1 a law2 every act would suggest one4 ,they would have to agree not to kill nor harm each other4 ,they must arrange their work and all their activities to secure the best advantage4 ,these arrangements1 agreements1 understandings--what are they but laws8 ,to live without law is to live alone4 ,every family is a miniature ,state with a complicate system of laws1 a supreme authority and subordinate authorities down to the latest babe4 ,and as he who is loudest in demanding liberty for himself is sternest in denying it to others1 you may confidently go to the ,maison ,vaillant1 or the ,mosthaus1 for a flawless example of the iron hand4 ,laws of the ,state are as faulty and as faultily administered as those of the ,family4 ,most of them have to be speedily and repeatedly amended1 many repealed1 and of those permitted to stand1 the greater number fall into disuse and are forgotten4 ,those who have to be entrusted with the duty of administering them have all the limitations of intelligence and defects of character by which the rest of us also are distinguished from the angels4 ,in the wise governor1 the just judge1 the honest sheriff or the patient constable we have as rare a phenomenon as the faultless father4 ,the good ,god has not given us a special kind of men upon whom to devolve the duty of seeing to the observance of the understandings that we call laws4 ,like all else that men do1 this work is badly done4 ,the best that we can hope for through all the failures1 the injustice1 the disheartening damage to individual rights and interests1 is a fairly good general result1 enabling us to walk abroad among our fellows unafraid1 to meet even the tribesmen from another valley without too imminent peril of braining and evisceration4 ,of that small security the ,anarchist would deprive us4 ,but without that nothing is of value and we shall be willing to renounce all4 ,let us begin by depriving ourselves of the ,anarchist4 ,our system of civilization being the natural outgrowth of our wretched moral and intellectual natures1 is open to criticism and subject to revision4 ,our laws1 being of human origin1 are faulty and their application is disappointing4 ,dissent1 dissatisfaction1 deprecation1 proposals for a better system fortified with better laws more intelligently administered--these are permissible and should be welcome4 ,the ,socialist 7when he is not carried away by zeal to pool issues with the ,anarchist7 has that in him which it does us good to hear4 ,he may be wrong b all else1 yet right in showing us wherein we ourselves are wrong4 ,anyhow1 his mission is amendment1 and so long as his paths are peace he has the right to walk therein1 exhorting as he goes4 ,the ,french ,communist who does not preach ,petroleum and ,it rectified is to be regarded with more than amusement1 more than compassion4 ,there is room for him and his fad2 there are hospitable ears for his boast that ,jesus ,christ would have been a ,communist if there had been ,communes4 ,they really did not know everything down in ,judee4 ,but for the ,anarchist1 whose aim is not amendment1 but destruction--not welfare to the race1 but mischief to a part of it--not happiness for the future1 but revenge for the past--for that animal there should be no close season1 for that savage1 no reservation4 ,society has not the right to grant life to one who denies the right to live4 ,the protagonist of reversion to the regime of lacking noses should lack a nose4 ,it is difficult to say if the bomb-thrower1 actual or potential1 is greater as scoundrel or fool4 ,suppose his aim is to compel concession by terror4 ,can not the brute observe at each of his exploits a tightening of the reins of power8 ,through the necessity of guarding against him the mildest governments are becoming despotic1 the most despotic more despotic4 ,does he suppose that the rulers of the earth are silly enough to make concessions that will not insure their safety8 ,can he give them security8 ,,iii4 ,of all the wild asses that roam the plain1 the wildest wild ass that roams the plain is indubitably the one that lifts his voice and heel against that socialism known as public ownership of public utilities1 on the ground of principle4 ,there may be honest1 and in some degree intelligent1 opposition on the ground of expediency4 ,many persons whom it is a pleasure to respect believe that a ,government railway1 for example1 would be less efficiently managed than the same railway in private hands1 and that political dangers lurk in the proposal so enormously to increase the number of ,federal employes as ,government ownership of railways would entail4 ,they think1 in other words1 that the policy is inexpedient4 ,it is a duty to reason with them1 which1 as a rule1 one can do without being insulted4 ,but the chap who greets the proposal with a howl of derision as ,socialism6 is not a respectable opponent4 ,eyes he has1 but he sees not2 ears--oh6 very abundant ears--but he hears not the still1 small voice of history nor the still smaller voice of common sense4 ,obviously to those who1 having eyes1 do see1 public ownership of anything is a step in the direction of ,socialism1 for perfect ,socialism means public ownership of everything4 ,but principle has nothing to do with it ,the principle of public ownership is already accepted and established4 ,it has no visible opponents except in the camp of the ,anarchists1 and fewer of them are visible there than soap and water would reveal4 ,antagonists of the principle of ,socialism lost their fight when the first human government held the dedicatory exercises of a ,cave of ,legislation4 ,since then the only question about the matter has been how far the extension of ,socialism is expedient ,some would draw the limiting line at one place1 some at another2 but only a fool thinks there can be government without it1 or good government without a great deal of it 7,the fact that we have always had a great deal of it yet never had good government affirms nothing that it is worth while to consider47 ,the word-worn example of our ,postal ,department is only one of a thousand instances of pure ,socialism4 ,if it did not exist how bitter an opposition a proposal to establish it would evoke from ,adversaries of the ,red ,rag6 ,the ,government builds and operates bridges with general assent2 but as the late ,general ,walker pointed out1 it might under some circumstances be more economical1 or better otherwise1 to build and operate a ferry boat1 which is a floating bridge4 ,but that would be opposed as rank ,socialism4 ,the truth is that the men and women of principle are a pretty dangerous class1 generally speaking--and they are generally speaking4 ,it is they that hamper us in every war4 ,it is they who1 preventing concentration and regulation of un-abolishable evils1 promote their distribution and liberty4 ,moral principles are pretty good things--for the young and those not well grounded in goodness4 ,if one have an impediment in his thought1 or is otherwise unequal to emergencies as they arise1 it is safest to be provided beforehand with something to refer to in order that a right decision may be made without taking thought4 ,but spirits of a purer fire prefer to decide each question as it comes up1 and to act upon the merits of the case1 unbound and unpledged4 ,with a quick intelligence1 a capable conscience and a habit of doing right automatically one has little need to burden one's mind and memory with a set of solemn principles formulated by owlish philosophers who do not happen to know that what is right is merely what1 in the long run and with regard to the greater number of cases1 is expedient ,principle is not always an infallible guide4 ,for illustration1 it is not always expedient--that is1 for the good of all concerned--to tell the truth1 to be entirely just or merciful1 to pay a debt4 ,i can conceive a case in which it would be right to assassinate one's neighbor4 ,suppose him to be a desperate scoundrel of a chemist who has devised a means of setting the atmosphere afire4 ,the man who should go through life on an inflexible line of principle would border his path with a havoc of human happiness4 ,what one may think perfect one may not always think desirable4 ,by perfect one may mean merely complete1 and the word was so used in my reference to ,socialism4 ,i am not myself an advocate of perfect ,socialism1 but as to ,government ownership of railways1 there is doubtless a good deal to be said on both sides4 ,one argument in its favor appears decisive2 under a system subject to popular control the law of gravitation would be shorn of its preeminence as a means of removing personal property from the baggage car1 and so far as it is applicable to that work might even be repealed4 ,,iv4 ,when ,m4 ,casimir-,perier resigned the ,french ,presidency there were those who regarded the act as weak1 cowardly1 undutiful and otherwise censurable4 ,it seems to me the act1 not of a feeble man1 but of a strong one--not that of a coward1 but that of a gentleman4 ,indeed1 ,i hardly know where to look in history for an act more entirely gratifying to my sense of the fitness of things than this dignified notification to mankind that in consenting to serve one's country one does not relinquish the right to decent treatment--to immunity from factious opposition and abuse--to at least as much civil consideration as is due from the ,church to the ,devil4 ,m4 ,casimir-,perier did not seek the ,presidency of the ,french ,republic2 it was thrust upon him against his protestations by an apparently almost unanimous mandate of the ,french people in an emergency which it was thought that he was the best man to meet4 ,that he met it with modesty and courage was testified without dissent4 ,that he afterward did anything to forfeit the confidence and respect that he then inspired is not true1 and nobody believes it true4 ,yet in his letter of resignation he said1 and said truly3 ,for the last six months a campaign of slander and insult has been going on against the army1 magistrates4 ,parliament and hierarchical ,chief of ,state1 and this license to disseminate social hatred continues to be called 'the liberty of thought4' ,and with a dignity to which it seems strange that any one could be insensible1 he added3 ,the respect and ambition which ,i entertain for my country will not allow me to acknowledge that the servants of the country1 and he who represents it in the presence of foreign nations1 may be insulted every day4 ,these are noble words4 ,have we any warrant for demanding or expecting that men of clean life and character will devote themselves to the good of ingrates who pay1 and ingrates who permit them to pay1 in flung mud8 ,it is hardly credible that among even those persons most infatuated by contemplation of their own merit as pointed out by their thrifty sycophants the liberty of thought has been carried to that extreme4 ,the right of the ,state to demand the sacrifice of the citizen's life is a doctrine as old as the patriotism that concedes it1 but the right to require him to forego his good name--that is something new under the sun4 ,from nothing but the dunghill of modern democracy could so noxious a plant have sprung4 ,perhaps in laying down my functions1 said ,m4 ,casimir-,perier1 ,i shall have marked out a path of duty to those who are solicitous for the dignity1 power and good name of ,france in the world4 ,we may be permitted to hope that the lesson is wider than ,france and more lasting than the ,french ,republic4 ,it is time that not only ,france but all other countries with popular institutions should learn that if they wish to command the services of men of honor they must accord them honorable treatment2 the rule now is for the party to which they belong to give them a half-hearted support while suffering all other parties to slander and insult them4 ,the action of the ,president of the ,french ,republic in these disgusting circumstances is exceptional and unusual only in respect of his courage in expressly resenting his wrong4 ,everywhere the unreasonable complaint is heard that good men will not go into politics2 everywhere the ignorant and malignant masses and their no less malignant and hardly less ignorant leaders and spokesmen1 having sown the wind of reasonless obstruction and partisan vilification1 are reaping the whirlwind of misrule4 ,so far as concerns the public service1 gentlemen are mostly on a strike against introduction of the mud-machine4 ,this high-minded political workman1 ,casimir-,perier1 never showed to so noble advantage as in gathering up his tools and walking out4 ,it may be1 and a million times has been1 urged that abstention from activity in public affairs by men of brains and character leaves the business of government in the hands of the incapable and the vicious4 ,in whose hands1 pray1 in a republic does it logically belong8 ,what does the theory of representative government affirm8 ,what is the lesson of every netherward extension of the suffrage8 ,what do we mean by permitting it to broaden slowly down to lower and lower intelligences and moralities8--what but that stupidity and vice1 equally with virtue and wisdom1 are entitled to a voice in political affairs1 a finger in the public pie8 ,a person that is fit to vote is fit to be voted for4 ,he who is competent for the high and difficult function of choosing an officer of the ,state is competent to serve the ,state as an officer4 ,to deny him the right is illogical and unjust4 ,participation in ,government can not be at the same time a privilege and a duty1 and he who claims it as a privilege must not speak of another's renunciation 7whereby himself is more highly privileged7 as shirking4 ,with every retirement from politics increased power passes to those who remain4 ,shall they protest8 ,shall they1 also1 who have retired8 ,who else is to protest8 ,the complaint of incivism would be more rational if there were some one by whom it could reasonably be made4 ,my advice to slandered officials has ever been3 ,resign4 ,the public officials of this favored country1 ,heaven be thanked1 are infrequently slandered3 they are1 as a rule1 so bad that calumniation is a compliment4 ,our best men1 with here and there an exception1 have been driven out of public life1 or made afraid to enter it4 ,even our spasmodic efforts at reform fail ludicrously for lack of leaders unaffiliated with the thing to be reformed4 ,unless attracted by the salary1 why should a gentleman aspire to the ,presidency of the ,united ,states8 ,during his canvass 7and he is expected to run1 not merely to stand7 he will have from his own party a support that should make him blush1 and from all the others an opposition that will stick at nothing to accomplish his satisfactory defamation4 ,after his election his partition and allotment of the loaves and fishes will estrange an important and thenceforth implacable faction of his following without appeasing the animosity of any one else2 and during his entire service his sky will be dark with a flight of dead cats4 ,at the finish of his term the utmost that he can expect in the way of reward not expressible in terms of the national currency is that not much more than one-half of his countrymen will believe him a scoundrel to the end of their days4 ,v4 ,the kind of government that we have seems to me one of the worst kinds extant ,a government that does not protect life is a flat failure1 no matter what else it may do4 ,life being almost universally regarded as the most precious possession1 its security is the first and highest essential--not the life of him who takes life1 but the life which is exposed defenceless to his hateful hand4 ,in no country in the world1 civilized or savage1 is life so insecure as in this4 ,in no country in the world is murder held in so light reprobation4 ,in no battle of modern times have so many lives been taken as are lost annually in the ,united ,states through public indifference to the crime of homicide--through disregard of law1 through bad government4 ,if ,american self-government1 with its ten thousand homicides a year1 is good government1 there is no such thing as bad4 ,self-government6 ,what monstrous nonsense6 ,who governs himself needs no government1 has no governor1 is not governed4 ,if government has any meaning it means the restraint of the many by the few--the subordination of numbers to brains4 ,it means the determined denial to the masses of the right to cut their own throats4 ,it means the grasp and control of all the social forces and material enginery--a vigilant censorship of the press1 a firm hand upon the church1 keen supervision of public meetings and public amusements1 command of the railroads1 telegraph and all means of communication4 ,it means1 in short1 the ability to make use of all the beneficent influences of enlightenment for the good of the people1 and to array all the powers of civilization against civilization's natural enemies--the people4 ,government like this has a thousand defects1 but it has one merit3 it is government4 ,despotism8 ,yes4 ,it is the despotisms of the world that have been the conservators of civilization4 ,it is the despot who1 most powerful for mischief1 is alone powerful for good4 ,it is conceded that government is necessary--even by the fierce democracies that madly renounce it4 ,but in so far as government is not despotic it is not government4 ,in ,europe for the last one hundred years1 the tendency of all government has been liberalization4 ,the history of ,european politics during that period is a history of renunciation by the rulers and assumption by the ruled4 ,sovereign after sovereign has surrendered prerogative after prerogative2 the nobility privilege after privilege4 ,mark the result3 society honeycombed with treason2 property menaced with partition2 assassination studied as a science and practiced as an art2 everywhere powerful secret organizations sworn to demolish the social fabric that the slow centuries have but just erected and unmindful that themselves will perish in the wreck4 ,no heart in ,europe can beat tranquilly under clean linen4 ,such is the gratitude1 such is the wisdom1 such the virtue of ,the ,masses4 ,in #ahfc ,alexander ,,ii of ,russia freed #be1jjj1jjj serfs4 ,in #ahgi they had killed him and all joined the conspirators4 ,that ancient and various device1 a republican form of government1 appears to be too good for all the peoples of the earth excepting one4 ,it is partly successful in ,switzerland2 in ,france and ,america1 where the majority is composed of persons having dark understandings and criminal instincts1 it has broken down4 ,in our case1 as in every case1 the momentum of successful revolution carried us too far4 ,we rebelled against tyranny and having overthrown it1 overthrew also the governmental form in which it had happened to be manifest4 ,in their anger and their triumph our good old gran'thers acted somewhat in the spirit of the ,irishman who cudgeled the dead snake until nothing was left of it1 in order to make it sinsible of its desthroction4 ,they meant it all1 too1 the honest souls6 ,for a long time after the setting up of the republic the republic meant active hatred to kings1 nobles1 aristocracies4 ,it was held1 and rightly held1 that a nobleman could not breathe in ,america--that he left his title and his privileges on the ship that brought him over4 ,do we observe anything of that in this generation8 ,on the landing of a foreign king1 prince or nobleman--even a miserable knight--do we not execute sycophantic genuflexions8 ,are not our newspapers full of flamboyant descriptions and qualming adulation8 ,nay1 does not our ,president himself--successor to ,washington and ,jefferson6--greet and entertain the nation's guest8 ,is not every ,american young woman crazy to mate with a male of title8 ,does all this represent no retrogression8--is it not the backward movement of the shadow on the dial8 ,doubtless the republican idea has struck strong roots into the soil of the two ,americas1 but he who rightly considers the tendencies of events1 the causes that bring them about and the consequences that flow from them1 will not be hot to affirm the perpetuity of republican institutions in the ,western ,hemisphere4 ,between their inception and their present stage of development there is scarcely the beat of a pendulum2 and already1 by corruption and lawlessness1 the people of both continents1 with all their diversities of race and character1 have shown themselves about equally unfit4 ,to become a nation of scoundrels all that any people needs is opportunity1 and what we are pleased to call by the impossible name of self-government supplies it4 ,the capital defect of republican government is inability to repress internal forces tending to disintegration4 ,it does not take long for a self-governed people to learn that it is not really governed--that an agreement enforcible by nobody but the parties to it is not binding4 ,we are learning this very rapidly3 we set aside our laws whenever we please4 ,the sovereign power--the tribunal of ultimate jurisdiction--is a mob4 ,if the mob is large enough 7it need not be very large71 even if composed of vicious tramps1 it may do as it will4 ,it may destroy property and life4 ,it may without proof of guilt inflict upon individuals torments unthinkable by fire and flaying1 mutilations that are nameless4 ,it may call men1 women and children from their beds and beat them to death with cudgels4 ,in the light of day it may assail the very strongholds of law in the heart of a populous city1 and assassinate prisoners of whose guilt it knows nothing4 ,and these things--observe1 ,o victims of kings--are habitually done4 ,one would as well be at the mercy of one's sovereign as of one's neighbor4 ,for generations we have been charming ourselves with the magic of words4 ,when menaced by some exceptionally monstrous form of the tyranny of numbers we have closed our eyes and murmured1 ,liberty4 ,when armed ,anarchists threaten to quench the fires of civilization in a sea of blood we prate of the protective power of free speech4 ,if1 ,girt about by friends or foes1 ,a man may speak the thing he will1 we fondly fancy that the thing he will speak is harmless--that immunity disarms his tongue of its poison1 his thought of its infection4 ,with a fatuity that would be incredible without the testimony of observation1 we hold that an ,anarchist free to go about making proselytes1 free to purchase arms1 free to drill and parade and encourage his dupes with a demonstration of their numbers and power1 is less mischievous than an ,anarchist with a shut mouth1 a weaponless hand and under surveillance of the police4 ,the ,anarchist himself is persuaded of the superiority of our plan of dealing with him2 he likes it and comes over in quantity1 inpesting the political atmosphere with the sweltered venom engendered by centuries of oppression--comes over here1 where he is not oppressed1 and sets up as oppressor4 ,his preferred field of malefaction is the country that is most nearly anarchical4 ,he comes here1 partly to better himself under our milder institutions1 partly to secure immunity while conspiring to destroy them4 ,there is thunder in ,europe1 but if the storm ever break it is in ,america that the lightning will fall1 for here is a great vortex into which the decivilizing agencies are pouring without obstruction4 ,here gather the eagles to the feast1 for the quarry is defenceless4 ,here is no power in government1 no government4 ,here an enemy of order is thought to be least dangerous when suffered to preach and arm in peace4 ,and here is nothing between him and his task of supervision--no pampered soldiery to repress his rising1 no iron authority to lay him by the heels4 ,the militia is fraternal1 the magistracy elective4 ,europe may hold out a little longer4 ,the ,great ,powers may make what stage-play they will1 but they are not maintaining their incalculable armaments for aggression upon one another1 for protection from one another1 nor for fun4 ,these vast forces are purely constabular--creatures and creators of discontent--phenomena of decivilization4 ,eventually they will fraternize with ,disorder or become themselves ,praetorian ,guards more dangerous than the perils that have called them into existence4 ,it is easy to forecast the first stages of the ,end's approach3 ,rioting4 ,disaffection of constabulary and troops4 ,subversion of the ,government ,a policy of decapitation4 ,upthrust of the serviceable ,anarchist4 ,his prompt effacement by his victorious ally and natural enemy1 the ,socialist4 ,free minting and printing of money--to every citizen a shoulder-load of the latter1 to the printers a ton each4 ,divided counsels4 ,pandemonium4 ,the man on horseback4 ,gusts of grape4 ------8 ,formerly the bearer of evil tidings was only slain2 he is now ignored4 ,the gods kept their secrets by telling them to ,cassandra1 whom no one would believe4 ,i do not expect to be heeded4 ,the crust of a volcano is electric the fumes are narcotic2 the combined sensation is delightful no end4 ,i have looked at the dial of civilization2 ,i tell you the shadow is going back4 ,that is of small importance to men of leisure1 with wine-dipped wreaths upon their heads4 ,they do not care to know4 ,,civilization ,i4 ,,the question ,does civilization civilize8 is a fine example of petitio principii4 and decides itself in the affirmative2 for civilization must needs do that from the doing of which it has its name4 ,but it is not necessary to suppose that he who propounds is either unconscious of his lapse in logic or desirous of digging a pitfall for the feet of those who discuss2 ,i take it he simply wishes to put the matter in an impressive way1 and relies upon a certain degree of intelligence in the interpretation4 ,concerning uncivilized peoples we know but little except what we are told by travelers--who1 speaking generally1 can know very little but the fact of uncivilization as shown in externals and irrelevances1 and are moreover1 greatly given to lying4 ,from the savages we hear very little4 ,judging them in all things by our own standards1 in default of a knowledge of theirs1 we necessarily condemn1 disparage and belittle4 ,one thing that civilization certainly has not done is to make us intelligent enough to understand that the opposite of a virtue is not necessarily a vice4 ,because we do not like the taste of one another it does not follow that the cannibal is a person of depraved appetite4 ,because1 as a rule1 we have but one wife and several mistresses each it is not certain that polygamy is everywhere--nor1 for that matter1 anywhere--either wrong or inexpedient4 ,our habit of wearing clothes does not prove that conscience of the body1 the sense of shame1 is charged with a divine mandate2 for like the conscience of the spirit it is the creature of what it seems to create3 it comes to the habit of wearing clothes4 ,and for those who hold that the purpose of civilization is morality it may be said that peoples which are the most nearly naked are1 in our sense1 the most nearly moral4 ,because the brutality of the civilized slave owners and dealers created a conquering sentiment against slavery it is not intelligent to assume that slavery is a maleficent thing amongst ,oriental peoples 7for example7 where the slave is not oppressed4 ,some of these same ,orientals whom we are pleased to term half-civilized have no regard for truth4 ,takest thou me for a ,christian dog1 said one of them1 that ,i should be the slave of my word8 ,so far as ,i can perceive the ,christian dog is no more the slave of his word than the ,true ,believer1 and ,i think the savage--allowing for the fact that his inveracity has dominion over fewer things--as great a liar as either of them4 ,for my part1 ,i do not know what1 in all circumstances1 is right or wrong2 but ,i know1 if right1 it is at least stupid to judge an uncivilized people by the standards of morality and intelligence set up by civilized ones4 ,an infinitesimal proportion of civilized men do not1 and there is much to be said for civilization if they are the product of it4 ,life in civilized countries is so complex that men there have more ways to be good than savages have1 and more to be bad2 more to be happy1 and more to be miserable4 ,and in each way to be good or bad1 their generally superior knowledge--their knowledge of more things--enables them to commit greater excesses than the savage could widi the same opportunity4 ,the civilized philanthropist wreaks upon his fellow creatures a ranker philanthropy1 the civilized scoundrel a sturdier rascality4 ,and--splendid triumph of enlightenment6--the two characters are1 in civilisation1 commonly combined in one person4 ,i know of no savage custom or habit of thought which has not its mate in civilized countries4 ,for every mischievous or absurd practice of the natural man ,i can name you a dozen of the unnatural which are essentially the same4 ,and nearly every custom of our barbarian ancestors in historic times survives in some form today4 ,we make ourselves look formidable in battle--for that matter1 we fight4 ,our women paint their faces4 ,we feel it obligatory to dress more or less alike1 inventing the most ingenious reasons for it and actually despising and persecuting those who do not care to conform4 ,within the memory of living persons bearded men were stoned in the streets2 and a clergyman in ,new ,york who wore his beard as ,christ wore his1 was put into jail and variously persecuted till he died4 ,we bury our dead instead of burning them1 yet every cemetery is set thick with urns4 ,as there are no ashes for the urns we do not trouble ourselves to make them hollow1 and we say their use is emblematic4 ,when1 following the bent of our ancestral instincts1 we go on1 age after age1 in the performance of some senseless act which once had a use and meaning we excuse ourselves by calling it symbolism4 ,our symbols are merely survivals4 ,we have theology and patriotism4 ,we have all the savage's superstition4 ,we propitiate and ingratiate by means of gifts4 ,we shake hands4 ,all these and hundreds of others of our practices are distinctly1 in their nature and by their origin1 savage4 ,civilization does not1 ,i think1 make the race any better4 ,it makes men know more3 and if knowledge makes them happy it is useful and desirable4 ,the one purpose of every sane human being is to be happy4 ,no one can have any other motive than that4 ,there is no such thing as unselfishness4 ,we perform the most generous and self-sacrificing acts because we should be unhappy if we did not4 ,we move on lines of least reluctance4 ,whatever tends to increase the beggarly sum of human happiness is worth having2 nothing else has any value4 ,the cant of civilization fatigues4 ,civilization is a fine and beautiful structure4 ,it is as picturesque as a ,gothic cathedral4 ,but it is built upon the bones and cemented with the blood of those whose part in all its pomp is that and nothing more4 ,it cannot be reared in the generous tropics1 for there the people will not contribute their blood and bones4 ,the proposition that the average ,american workingman or ,european peasant is better off than the ,south ,sea ,islander1 lolling under a palm and drunk with over-eating1 will not bear a moment's examination4 ,it is we scholars and gentlemen that are better off4 ,it is admitted that the ,south ,sea ,islander in a state of nature is overmuch addicted to the practice of eating human flesh2 but concerning that ,i submit3 first1 that he likes it2 second1 that those who supply it are mostly dead4 ,it is upon his enemies that he feeds1 and these he would kill anyhow1 as we do ours4 ,in civilized1 enlightened and ,christian countries1 where cannibalism has not yet established itself1 wars are as frequent and destructive as among the maneaters4 ,the untitled savage knows at least why he goes killing1 whereas the private soldier is commonly in black ignorance of the apparent cause of quarrel--of the actual cause1 always4 ,their shares in the fruits of victory are about equal3 the ,chief takes all the dead1 the ,general all the glory4 ,moreover it costs more human life to supply a ,christian gentleman with food than it does a cannibal--with food alone3 board2 if you could figure out the number of lives that his lodging1 clothing1 amusements and accomplishment cost the sum would startle4 ,happily he does not pay it4 ,considering human lives as having value1 cannibalism is undoubtedly the more economical system4 ,,ii4 ,transplanted institutions grow but slowly2 and civilization can not be put into a ship and carried across an ocean4 ,the history of this country is a sequence of illustrations of these truths4 ,it was settled by civilized men and women from civilized countries1 yet after two and a half centuries with unbroken communication with the mother systems1 it is still imperfectly civilized4 ,in learning and letters1 in art and the science of government1 ,america is but a faint and stammering echo of ,england4 ,for nearly all that is good in our ,american civilization we are indebted to ,england2 the errors and mischiefs are of our own creation4 ,we have originated little1 because there is little to originate1 but we have unconsciously reproduced many of the discredited and abandoned systems of former ages and other countries--receiving them at second hand1 but making them ours by the sheer strength and immobility of the national belief in their newness4 ,newness6 ,why1 it is not possible to make an experiment in government1 in art1 in literature1 in sociology1 or in morals1 that has not been made over1 and over1 and over again4 ,fools talk of clear and simple remedies for this and that evil afflicting the commonwealth4 ,if a proposed remedy is obvious and easily intelligible1 it is condemned in the naming1 for it is morally certain to have been tried a thousand times in the history of the world1 and had it been effective men ere now would have forgotten1 from mere disuse1 how to produce the evil it cured4 ,there are clear and simple remedies for nothing4 ,in medicine there has been discovered but a single specific2 in politics not one4 ,the interests1 moral and natural1 of a community in our highly differentiated civilization are so complex1 intricate1 delicate and interdependent1 that you can not touch one without affecting all4 ,it is a familiar truth that no law was ever passed that did not have unforeseen results2 but of these results1 by far the greater number are never recognized as of its creation4 ,the best that can be said of any measure is1 that the sum of its perceptible benefits seems so to exceed the sum of its perceptible evils as to constitute a balance of advantage4 ,yet the magnificent innocence of the statesman or philosopher to whose understanding the whole matter lies in a nutshell--who thinks he can formulate a practical political or social policy within the four corners of an epigram--who fears nothing because he knows nothing--is constantly to the fore with a simple specific for ills whose causes are complex1 constant and inscrutable4 ,to the understanding of this creature a difficulty well ignored is half overcome2 so he buttons up his eyes and assails the problems of life with the divine confidence of a blind pig traversing a labyrinth4 ,the glories of ,england are our glories4 ,she can achieve nothing that our fathers did not help to make possible to her4 ,the learning1 the power1 the refinement of a great nation1 are not the growth of a century1 but of many centuries2 each generation builds upon the work of the preceding4 ,for untold ages our ancestors wrought to rear that revered pile1 the civilization of ,england4 ,and shall we now try to belittle the mighty structure because other though kindred hands are laying the top courses while we have elected to found a new tower in another land8 ,the ,american eulogist of civilization who is not proud of his heritage in ,england's glory is unworthy to enjoy his lesser heritage in the lesser glory of his own country4 ,the ,english are undoubtedly our intellectual superiors2 and as the virtues are solely the product of education--a rogue being only a dunce considered from another point of view--they are our moral superiors likewise4 ,why should they not be8 ,it is a land not of log and pine-board schoolhouses grudgingly erected and containing schools supported by such niggardly tax levies as a sparse and hard-handed population will consent to pay1 but of ancient institutions splendidly endowed by the ,state and by centuries of private benefaction4 ,as a means of dispensing formulated ignorance our boasted public school system is not without merit2 it spreads it out sufficiently thin to give everyone enough to make him a more competent fool than he would have been without it2 but to compare it with that which is not the creature of legislation acting with malice aforethought1 but the unnoted outgrowth of ages1 is to be ridiculous4 ,it is like comparing the laid-out town of a western prairie1 its right-angled streets1 prim cottages1 built on the installment plan1 and its wooden a-b-c shops1 with the grand old town of ,oxford1 topped with the clustered domes and towers of its twenty-odd great colleges2 the very names of many of whose founders have perished from human record as have all the chronicles of the times in which they lived4 ,it is not alone that we have had to subdue the wilderness2 our educational conditions are otherwise adverse4 ,our political system is unfavorable4 ,our fortunes1 accumulated in one generation1 are dispersed in the next4 ,if it takes three generations to make a gentleman one will not make a thinker4 ,instruction is acquired1 but capacity for instruction is transmitted4 ,the brain that is to contain a trained intellect is not the result of a haphazard marriage between a clown and a wench1 nor does it get its tractable tissues from a hard-headed farmer and a soft-headed milliner4 ,if you confess the importance of race and pedigree in a race horse and a bird dog how dare you deny it in a man8 ,i do not claim that the political and social system that creates an aristocracy of leisure1 and consequently of intellect1 is the best possible kind of human organization2 ,i perceive its disadvantages clearly enough4 ,but ,i do not hold that a system under which all important public trusts1 political and professional1 civil and military1 ecclesiastical and secular1 are held by educated men--that is1 men of trained faculties and disciplined judgment--is not an altogether faulty system4 ,it is only in our own country that an exacting literary taste is believed to disqualify a man for purveying to the literary needs of a taste less exacting--a proposition obviously absurd1 for an exacting taste is nothing but the intelligent discrimination of a judgment instructed by comparison and observation4 ,there is1 in fact1 no pursuit or occupation1 from that of a man who blows up a balloon to that of the man who bores out the stove pipes1 in which he that has talent and education is not a better worker than he that has either1 and he than he that has neither4 ,it is a universal human weakness to disparage the knowledge that we do not ourselves possess1 but it is only my own beloved country that can justly boast herself the last refuge and asylum of the impotents and incapables who deny the advantage of all knowledge whatsoever4 ,it was an ,american ,senator 7,logan7 who declared that he had devoted a couple of weeks to the study of finance1 and found the accepted authorities all wrong4 ,it was another ,american ,senator 7,morton7 who1 confronted with certain ugly facts in the history of another country1 proposed to brush away all facts1 and argue the question on considerations of plain common sense4 ,republican institutions have this disadvantage3 by incessant changes in the personnel of government--to say nothing of the manner of men that ignorant constituencies elect2 and all constituencies are ignorant--we attain to no fixed principles and standards4 ,there is no such thing here as a science of politics1 because it is not to any one's interest to make politics the study of his life4 ,nothing is settled2 no truth finds general acceptance4 ,what we do one year we undo the next1 and do over again the year following4 ,our energy is wasted in1 and our prosperity suffers from1 experiments endlessly repeated4 ,one of the disadvantages of our social system1 which is the child of our political1 is the tyranny of public opinion1 forbidding the utterance of wholesome but unpalatable truth4 ,in a republic we are so accustomed to the rule of majorities that it seldom occurs to us to examine their title to dominion2 and as the ideas of might and right are1 by our innate sense of justice1 linked together1 we come to consider public opinion infallible and almost sacred4 ,now1 majorities rule1 not because they are right1 but because they are able to rule4 ,in event of collision they would conquer1 so it is expedient for minorities to submit beforehand to save trouble4 ,in fact1 majorities1 embracing1 as they do the most ignorant1 seldom think rightly2 public opinion1 being the opinion of mediocrity1 is commonly a mistake and a mischief4 ,but it is to nobody's interest--it is against the interest of most--to dispute with it4 ,public writer and public speaker alike find their account in confirming the plain people in their brainless errors and brutish prejudices--in glutting their omnivorous vanity and inflaming their implacable racial and national hatreds4 ,i have long held the opinion that patriotism is one of the most abominable vices affecting the human understanding4 ,every patriot in this world believes his country better than any other country4 ,now1 they cannot all be the best2 indeed1 only one can be the best1 and it follows that the patriots of all the others have suffered themselves to be misled by a mere sentiment into blind unreason4 ,in its active manifestation--it is fond of shooting--patriotism would be well enough if it were simply defensive2 but it is also aggressive1 and the same feeling that prompts us to strike for our altars and our fires impels us likewise to go over the border to quench the fires and overturn the altars of our neighbors4 ,it is all very pretty and spirited1 what the poets tell us about ,thermopylae1 but there was as much patriotism at one end of that pass as there was at the other4 ,patriotism deliberately and with folly aforethought subordinates the interests of a whole to the interests of a part4 ,worse still1 the fraction so favored is determined by an accident of birth or residence4 ,patriotism is like a dog which1 having entered at random one of a row of kennels1 suffers more in combats with the dogs in the other kennels than it would have done by sleeping in the open air4 ,the hoodlum who cuts the tail from a ,chinamen's nowl1 and would cut the nowl from the body if he dared1 is simply a patriot with a logical mind1 having the courage of his opinions4 ,patriotism is fierce as a fever1 pitiless as the grave1 blind as a stone and irrational as a headless hen4 ,there are two ways of clarifying liquids--ebullition and precipitation2 one forces the impurities to the surface as scum1 the other sends them to the bottom as dregs4 ,the former is the more offensive1 and that seems to be our way2 but neither is useful if the impurities are merely separated but not removed4 ,we are told with tiresome iteration that our social and political systems are clarifying2 but when is the skimmer to appear8 ,if the purpose of free institutions is good government where is the good government8--when may it be expected to begin8--how is it to come about8 ,systems of government have no sanctity2 they are practical means to a simple end--the public welfare2 worthy of no respect if they fail of its accomplishment4 ,the tree is known by its fruit4 ,ours1 is bearing crab-apples4 ,if the body politic is constitutionally diseased1 as ,i verily believe2 if the disorder inheres in the system2 there is no remedy4 ,the fever must burn itself out1 and then ,nature will do the rest4 ,one does not prescribe what time alone can administer4 ,we have put our criminal class in power2 do we suppose they will efface themselves8 ,will they restore to us the power of governing them8 ,they must have their way and go their length4 ,the natural and immemorial sequence is3 tyranny1 insurrection1 combat4 ,in combat everything that wears a sword has a chance--even the right4 ,history does not forbid us to hope4 ,but it forbids us to rely upon numbers2 they will be against us4 ,if history teaches anything worth learning it teaches that the majority of mankind is neither good nor wise4 ,where government is founded upon the public conscience and the public intelligence the stability of ,states is a dream4 ,nor have we any warrant for the ,tennysonian faith that ,freedom broadens slowly down ,from precedent to precedent4 ,in that moment of time that is covered by historical records we have abundant evidence that each generation has believed itself wiser and better than any of its predecessors2 that each people has believed itself to have the secret of national perpetuity4 ,in support of this universal delusion there is nothing to be said2 the desolate places of the earth cry out against it4 ,vestiges of obliterated civilizations cover the earth2 no savage but has camped upon the sites of proud and populous cities2 no desert but has heard the statesman's boast of national stability4 ,our nation1 our laws1 our history--all shall go down to everlasting oblivion with the others1 and by the same road4 ,but ,i submit that we are traveling it with needless haste4 ,but it is all right and righteous4 ,it can be spared--this ,jonah's gourd civilization of ours4 ,we have hardly the rudiments of a true civilization2 compared with the splendors of which we catch dim glimpses in the fading past1 ours are as an illumination of tallow candles4 ,we know no more than the ancients2 we only know other things1 but nothing in which is an assurance of perpetuity1 and little that is truly wisdom4 ,our vaunted elixir vito is the art of printing with moveable types4 ,what good will those do when posterity1 struck by the inevitable intellectual blight1 shall have ceased to read what is printed8 ,our libraries will become its stables1 our books its fuel4 ,ours is a civilization that might be heard from afar in space as a scolding and a riot2 a civilization in which the race has so differentiated as to have no longer a community of interest and feeling2 which shows as a ripe result of the principles underlying it a reasonless and rascally feud between rich and poor2 in which one is offered a choice 7if one have the means to take it7 between ,american plutocracy and ,european militocracy1 with an imminent chance of renouncing either for a stultocratic republic with a headsman in the presidential chair and every laundress in exile4 ,i have not a solution to the labor problem4 ,i have only a story4 ,many and many years ago lived a man who was so good and wise that none in all the world was so good and wise as he4 ,he was one of those few whose goodness and wisdom are such that after some time has passed their fellowmen begin to think them gods and treasure their words as divine law2 and by millions they are worshiped through centuries of time4 ,amongst the utterances of this man was one command--not a new nor perfect one--which has seemed to his adorers so preeminently wise that they have given it a name by which it is known over half the world4 ,one of the sovereign virtues of this famous law is its simplicity1 which is such that all hearing must understand2 and obedience is so easy that any nation refusing is unfit to exist except in the turbulence and adversity that will surely come to it4 ,when a people would avert want and strife1 or having them1 would restore plenty and peace1 this noble commandment offers the only means--all other plans for safety or relief are as vain as dreams1 and as empty as the crooning of fools4 ,and behold1 here it is3 ,all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you1 do ye even so to them4 ,what6 you unappeasable rich1 coining the sweat and blood of your workmen into drachmas1 understanding the law of supply and demand as mandatory and justifying your cruel greed by the senseless dictum that business is business2 you lazy workman1 railing at the capitalist by whose desertion1 when you have frightened away his capital1 you starve--rioting and shedding blood and torturing and poisoning by way of answer to exaction and by way of exaction2 you foul anarchists1 applauding with indelicate palms when one of your coward kind hurls a bomb amongst powerless and helpless women and children2 you imbecile politicians with a plague of remedial legislation for the irremediable2 you writers and thinkers unread in history1 with as many solutions to the labor problem as there are dunces among you who can not coherently define it--do you really think yourself wiser than ,jesus of ,nazareth8 ,do you seriously suppose yourselves competent to amend his plan for dealing with all the evils besetting states and souls8 ,have you the effrontery to believe that those who spurn his ,golden ,rule you can bind to obedience of an act entitled an act to amend an act8 ,bah6 you fatigue the spirit4 ,go get ye to your scoundrel lockouts1 your villain strikes1 your blacklisting1 your boycotting1 your speech-ing1 marching and maundering2 but if ye do not to others as ye would that they do to you it shall occur1 and that right soon1 that ye be drowned in your own blood and your pickpocket civilization quenched as a star that falls into the sea4 ,,the ,,game ,,of ,,politics ,i4 ,,if ,,one were to declare himself a ,democrat or a ,republican and the claim should be contested he would find it a difficult one to prove4 ,the missing link in his chain of evidence would be the major premise in the syllogism necessary to the establishment of his political status--a definition of ,democrat or ,republican4 ,most of the statesmen in public and private life who are poll-parroting these words1 do so with entire unconsciousness of their meaning1 or rather without knowledge that they have lost whatever of meaning they once had4 ,the words are mere survivals1 marking dead issues and covering allegiances of the loosest and most shallow character4 ,on any question of importance each party is divided against itself and dares not formulate a preference4 ,there is no question before the country upon which one may not think and vote as he likes without affecting his standing in the political communion of saints of which he professes himself a member4 ,party lines are as terribly confused as the parallels of latitude and longitude after a twisting earthquake1 or those aimless lines representing the competing railroad on a map published by a company operating the only direct route4 ,it is not probable that this state of things can last2 if there is to be government by party--and we should be sad to think that so inestimable a boon were soon to return to ,him who gave it--men must begin to let their angry passions rise and take rides4 ,ill fares the land to hastening ills a prey1 where the people are too wise to dispute and too good to fight4 ,let us have the good old political currency of bloody noses and cracked crowns2 let the yawp of the demagogue be heard in the land2 let ears be pestered with the spargent cheers of the masses4 ,give us a whoop-up that shall rouse us like a rattling peal of thunder4 ,will nobody be our ,moses--there should be two ,moseses--to lead us through this detestable wilderness of political stagnation8 ,,ii4 ,nowhere on ,god's green earth--it is fitting1 that this paper contain a bit of bosh--nowhere is so much insufferable stuff talked in a given period of time as in an ,american political convention4 ,it is there that all those objectionable elements of the national character which evoke the laughter of ,europe and are the despair of our friends find freest expression1 unhampered by fear of any censorship more exacting than that of the opposing party--which takes no account of intellectual delinquencies1 but only of moral4 ,the organs of the opposing party will not take the trouble to point out--even to observe--that the debasing sentiments and criminal views uttered in speech and platform are expressed in sickening syntax and offensive rhetoric4 ,doubtless an ,american politician1 statesman1 what you will1 could go into a political convention and signify his views with simple1 unpretentious common sense1 but doubtless he never does4 ,every community is cursed with a number of orators--men regarded as eloquent--silver tongued men--fellows who to the common ,american knack at brandishing the tongue add an exceptional felicity of platitude1 a captivating mastery of dog's-eared sentiment1 a copious and obedient vocabulary of eulogium1 an iron insensibility to the ridiculous and an infinite affinity to fools4 ,these afflicting ,chrysostoms are always lying in wait for an occasion ,it matters not what it is3 a reception to some great man from abroad1 a popular ceremony like the laying of a corner-stone1 the opening of a fair1 the dedication of a public building1 an anniversary banquet of an ancient and honorable order 7they all belong to ancient and honorable orders7 or a club dinner--they all belong to clubs and pay dues4 ,but it is in the political convention that they come out particularly strong4 ,by some imperious tradition having the force of written law it is decreed that in these absurd bodies of our fellow citizens no word of sense shall be uttered from the platform2 whatever is uttered in set speeches shall be addressed to the meanest capacity present ,as a chain can be no stronger than its weakest link1 so nothing said by the speakers at a political convention must be above the intellectual reach of the most pernicious idiot having a seat and a vote4 ,i don't know why it is so4 ,it seems to be thought that if he is not suitably entertained he will not attend1 as a delegate1 the next convention4 ,here are the opening sentences of the speech in which a man was once nominated for ,governor3 ,two years ago the ,republican party in ,state and ,nation marched to imperial triumph4 ,on every hilltop and mountain peak our beacons blazed and we awakened the echoes of every valley with songs of our rejoicings4 ,and so forth4 ,now1 if ,i were asked to recast those sentences so that they should conform to the simple truth and be inoffensive to good taste ,i should say something like this3 ,two years ago the ,republican party won a general election4 ,if there is any thing in this inflated rigmarole that is not adequately expressed in my amended statement1 what is it8 ,as to eloquence it will hardly be argued that nonsense1 falsehood and metaphors which were old when ,rome was young are essential to that4 ,the first man 7in early ,greece7 who spoke of awakening an echo did a felicitous thing4 ,was it felicitous in the second8 ,is it felicitous now8 ,as to that military metaphor--the marching and so forth--its inventor was as great an ass as any one of the incalculable multitude of his plagiarists4 ,on this matter hear the late ,richard ,grant ,white3 ,is it not time that we had done with the nauseous talk about campaigns1 and standard-bearers1 and glorious victories 7imperial triumphs7 and all the bloated army-bumming bombast which is so rife for the six months preceding an election8 ,to read almost any one of our political papers during a canvass is enough to make one sick and sorry4444 ,an election has no manner of likeness to a campaign1 or a battle4 ,it is not even a contest in which the stronger or more dexterous party is the winner2 it is a mere counting1 in which the bare fact that one party is the more numerous puts it in power if it will only come up and be counted2 to insure which a certain time is spent by each party in reviling and belittling the candidates of its opponents and lauding its own2 and this is the canvass1 at the likening of which to a campaign every honest soldier might reasonably take offense4 ,but1 after all1 ,white was only one o' them dam litery fellers1 and ,i dare say the original proponent of the military metaphor1 away off there in the dark backward and abysm of time1 knew a lot more about practical politics than ,white ever did4 ,and it is practical politics to be an ass4 ,in withdrawing his own name from before a convention1 a ,california politician once made a purely military speech of which a single sample passage is all that ,i shall allow myself the happiness to quote3 ,i come before you today as a ,republican of the ,republican banner county of this great ,state of ours4 ,from snowy ,shasta on the north to sunny ,diego on the south2 from the west1 where the waves of the ,pacific look upon our shores1 to where the barriers of the great ,sierras stand clad in eternal snow1 there is no more loyal county to the ,republican party in this ,state than the county from which ,i hail4 ,applause1 naturally4 ,its loyalty to the party has been tested on many fields of battle ,anglice1 in many elections and it has never wavered in the contest ,wherever the fate of battle was trembling in the balance ,homer1 and since ,homer1 ,tom1 ,dick and ,harry ,alameda county stepped into the breach and rescued the ,republican party from defeat4 ,translated into ,english this military mouthing would read somewhat like this3 ,i live in ,alameda county1 where the ,republicans have uniformly outvoted the ,democrats4 ,the orators at the ,democratic convention a week earlier were no better and no different4 ,their rhetorical stock-in-trade was the same old shop-worn figures of speech in which their predecessors have dealt for ages1 and in which their successors will traffic to the end of--well1 to the end of that imitative quality in the national character1 which1 by its superior intensity1 serves to distinguish us from the apes that perish4 ,,iii4 ,what we most need1 to secure honest elections1 says a well-meaning reformer1 is the ,clifford or the ,myers voting machine4 ,why1 truly1 here is a hopeful spirit--a rare and radiant intelligence suffused with the conviction that men can be made honest by machinery--that human character is a matter of gearing1 ratchets and dials6 ,one would give something to know how it feels to be like that4 ,a mind so constituted must be as happy in its hope as a hen incubating a nest-ful of porcelain door-knobs4 ,it lives in rapturous contemplation of a world of its own creation--a world where public morality and political good order are to be had by purchase at the machine-shop4 ,in that delectable world religion is superfluous2 the true high priest is the mechanical engineer2 the minor clergy are the village blacksmiths4 ,it is rather a pity that so fine and fair a sphere should prosper only in the attenuated ether of an idiot's understanding4 ,voting-machines are doubtless well enough2 they save labor and enable the statesmen of the street to know the result within a few minutes of the closing of the polls--whereby many are spared to their country who would otherwise incur fatal disorders by exposure to the night air while assisting in awaiting the returns4 ,but a voting-machine that human ingenuity can not pervert1 human ingenuity can not invent4 ,that is true1 too1 of laws4 ,your statesman of a mental stature somewhat overtopping that of the machine-person puts his faith in law4 ,providence has designed to permit him to be persuaded of the efficacy of statutes--good1 stringent1 carefully drawn statutes definitively repealing all the laws of nature in conflict with any of their provisions4 ,so the poor devil 7,i am writing of ,mr4 ,legion7 turns for relief from law to law1 ever on the stool of repentance1 yet ever unfouling the anchor of hope4 ,by no power cm earth can his indurated understanding be penetrated by the truth that his woful state is due1 not to any laws of his own1 nor to any lack of them1 but to his rascally refusal to obey the ,golden ,rule4 ,how long is it since we were all clamoring for the ,australian ballot law1 which was to make a new ,heaven and a new earth8 ,we have the ,australian ballot law and the same old earth smelling to the same old ,heaven4 ,writhe upon the triangle as we may1 groan out what new laws we will1 the pitiless thong will fall upon our bleeding backs as long as we deserve it4 ,if our sins1 which are scarlet1 are to be washed as white as wool it must be in the tears of a genuine contrition3 our crocodile deliverances will profit us nothing4 ,we must stop chasing dollars1 stop lying1 stop cheating1 stop ignoring art1 literature and all the refining agencies and instrumentalities of civilization4 ,we must subdue our detestable habit of shaking hands with prosperous rascals and fawning upon the merely rich4 ,it is not permitted to our employers to plead in justification of low wages the law of supply and demand that is giving them high profits4 ,it is not permitted to discontented employees to break the bones of contented ones and destroy the foundations of social order4 ,it is infamous to look upon public office with the lust of possession2 it is disgraceful to solicit political preferment1 to strive and compete for honors that are sullied and tarnished by the touch of the reaching hand4 ,until we amend our personal characters we shall amend our laws in vain4 ,though ,paul plant and ,apollos water1 the field of reform will grow nothing but the figless thistle and the grapeless thorn4 ,the ,state is an aggregation of individuals4 ,its public character is the expression of their personal ones4 ,by no political prestidigitation can it be made better and wiser than the sum of their goodness and wisdom4 ,to expect that men who do not honorably and intelligently conduct their private affairs will honorably and intelligently conduct the affairs of the community is to be a fool4 ,we are told that out of nothing ,god made the ,heavens and the earth2 but out of nothing ,god never did and man never can1 make a public sense of honor and a public conscience4 ,miracles are now performed but one day of the year--the twenty-ninth of ,february2 and on leap year ,god is forbidden to perform them4 ,,iv4 ,ye who hold that the power of eloquence is a thing of the past and the orator an anachronism2 who believe that the trend of political events and the results of parliamentary action are determined by committees in cold consultation and the machinations of programmes in holes and corners1 consider the ascension of ,bryan and be wise4 ,a week before the convention of #ahif ,william ,j4 ,bryan had never heard of himself2 upon his natural obscurity was superposed the opacity of a ,congressional service that effaced him from the memory of even his faithful dog1 and made him immune to dunning4 ,today he is pinnacled upon the summit of the tallest political distinction1 gasping in the thin atmosphere of his unfamiliar environment and fitly astonished at the mischance4 ,to the dizzy elevation of his candidacy he was hoisted out of the shadow by his own tongue1 the longest and liveliest in ,christendom4 ,had he held it--which he could not have done with both hands--there had been no ,bryan4 ,his creation was the unstudied act of his own larynx2 it said1 ,let there be ,bryan1 and there was ,bryan4 ,even in these degenerate days there is a hope for the orators when one can make himself a ,presidential peril by merely waving the red flag in the cave of the winds and tormenting the circumjacence with a brandish of abundant hands4 ,to be quite honest1 ,i do not entirely believe that ,orator ,bryan's tongue had anything to do with it4 ,i have long been convinced that personal persuasion is a matter of animal magnetism--what in its more obvious manifestation we now call hypnotism4 ,at the back of the words and the postures1 and independent of them1 is that secret1 mysterious power1 addressing1 not the ear1 not the eye1 nor1 through them1 the understanding1 but through its matching quality in the auditor1 captivating the will and enslaving it ,that is how persuasion is effected2 the spoken words merely supply a pretext for surrender4 ,they enable us to yield without loss of our self-esteem1 in the delusion that we are conceding to reason what is really extorted by charm4 ,the words are necessary1 too1 to point out what the orator wishes us to think1 if we are not already apprised of it4 ,when the nature of his power is better understood and frankly recognized1 he can spare himself the toil of talking4 ,the parliamentary debate of the future will probably be conducted in silence1 and with only such gestures as go by the name of passes4 ,the chairman will state the question before the ,house and the side1 affirmative or negative1 to be taken by the honorable member entitled to the floor4 ,that gentleman will rise1 train his compelling orbs upon the miscreants in opposition1 execute a few passes and exhaust his alloted time in looking at them4 ,he will then yield to an honorable member of dissenting views4 ,the preponderance in magnetic power and hypnotic skill will be manifest in the voting4 ,the advantages of the method are as plain as the nose on an elephant's face4 ,the arena will no longer ring with anybody's rousing speech1 to the irritating abridgment of the inalienable right to pursuit of sleep4 ,honorable members will lack provocation to hurl allegations and cuspidors4 ,pitchforking statesmen and tosspot reformers will be unable to play at pitch-and-toss with reputations not submitted for the performance4 ,in short1 the congenial asperities of debate will be so mitigated that the honorable member from ,hades will retire permanently from the hauls of legislation4 ,v4 ,public opinion1 says ,buckle1 being the voice of the average man1 is the voice of mediocrity4 ,is it therefore so very wise and infallible a guide as to be accepted without other credentials than its name and fame8 ,ought we to follow its light and leading with no better assurance of the character of its authority than a count of noses of those following it already1 and with no inquiry as to whether it has not on many former occasions let them and their several sets of predecessors into bogs of error and over precipices to eternal mock8 ,surely the average man1 as every one knows him1 is not very wise1 not very learned1 not very good2 how is it that his views1 of so intricate and difficult matters as those of which public opinion makes pronouncement through him are entitled to such respect8 ,it seems to me that the average man1 as ,i know him1 is very much a fool1 and something of a rogue as well4 ,he has only a smattering of education1 knows virtually nothing of political history1 nor history of any kind1 is incapable of logical1 that is to say clear1 thinking1 is subject to the suasion of base and silly prejudices1 and selfish beyond expression4 ,that such a person's opinions should be so obviously better than my own that ,i should accept them instead1 and assist in enacting them into laws1 appears to me most improbable4 ,i may bow to the will of the people as gracefully as a defeated candidate1 and for the same reason1 namely1 that ,i can not help myself2 but to admit that ,i was wrong in my belief and flatter the power that subdues me--no1 that ,i will not do4 ,and if nobody would do so the average man would not be so very cock-sure of his infallibility and might sometimes consent to be counseled by his betters4 ,in any matter of which the public has imperfect knowledge1 public opinion is as likely to be erroneous as is the opinion of an individual equally uninformed4 ,to hold otherwise is to hold that wisdom can be got by combining many ignorances4 ,a man who knows nothing of algebra can not be assisted in the solution of an algebraic problem by calling in a neighbor who knows no more than himself1 and the solution approved by the unanimous vote of ten million such men would count for nothing against that of a competent mathematician4 ,to be entirely consistent1 gentlemen enamored of public opinion should insist that the text books of our common schools should be the creation of a mass meeting1 and all disagreements arising in the course of the work settled by a majority vote4 ,that is how all difficulties incident to the popular translation of the ,hebrew ,scriptures were composed4 ,it should be admitted1 however that most of those voting knew a little ,hebrew1 though not much4 ,a problem in mathematics is a very simple thing compared with many of those upon which the people are called to pronounce by resolution and ballot--for example1 a question of finance4 ,the voice of the people is the voice of ,god--the saying is so respectably old that it comes to us in the ,latin4 ,he is a strange1 an unearthly politician who has not a score of times publicly and solemnly signified his faith in it ,but does anyone really believe it8 ,let us see4 ,in the period between #ahei and #ahhe1 the ,democratic party was defeated six times in succession4 ,the voice of the people pronounced it in error and unfit to govern4 ,yet after each overthrow it came back into the field gravely reaffirming its faith in the principles that ,god had condemned4 ,then ,god twice reversed ,himself1 and the ,republicans never turned a hair1 but set about beating ,him with as firm a confidence of success 7justified by the event7 as they had known in the years of their prosperity4 ,doubtless in every instance of a political party's defeat there are defections1 but doubtless not all are due to the voice that spoke out of the great white light that fell about ,saul of ,tarsus4 ,by the way1 it is worth observing that that clever gentleman was under no illusion regarding the origin of the voice that wrought his celebrated flop2 he did not confound it with the vox populi ,the people of his time and place had no objection to the persecution that he was conducting1 and could persecute a trifle themselves upon occasion4 ,majorities rule1 when they do rule1 not because they ought1 but because they can4 ,we vote in order to learn without fighting which party is the stronger2 it is less disagreeable to learn it that way than the other way4 ,sometimes the party that is numerically the weaker is by possession of the ,government actually the stronger1 and could maintain itself in power by an appeal to arms1 but the habit of submitting when outvoted is hard to break4 ,moreover1 we all recognize in a subconscious way1 the reasonableness of the habit as a practical method of getting on2 and there is always the confident hope of success in the next canvass4 ,that one's cause will succeed because it ought to succeed is perhaps the most general and invincible folly affecting the human judgment ,observation can not shake it1 nor experience destroy4 ,though you bray a partisan in the mortar of adversity till he numbers the strokes of the pestle by the hairs of his head1 yet will not this fool notion depart from him4 ,he is always going to win the next time1 however frequently and disastrously he has lost before4 ,and he can always give you the most cogent reasons for the faith that is in him4 ,his chief reliance is on the fatal mistakes made since the last election by the other party4 ,there never was a year in which the party in power and the party out of power did not make bad mistakes--mistakes which1 unlike eggs and fish1 seem always worst when freshest4 ,if idiotic errors of policy were always fatal1 no party would ever win an election and there would be a hope of better government under the benign sway of the domestic cow4 ,,vi4 ,each political party accuses the opposing candidate of refusing to answer certain questions which somebody has chosen to ask him4 ,i think myself it is discreditable for a candidate to answer any questions at all1 to make speeches1 declare his policy1 or to do anything whatever to get himself elected4 ,if a political party choose to nominate a man so obscure that his character and his views on all public questions are not known or inferable he ought to have the dignity to refuse to expound them4 ,as to the strife for office being a pursuit worthy of a noble ambition1 ,i do not think so2 nor shall ,i believe that many do think so until the term office seeker carries a less opprobrious meaning and the dictum that the office should seek the man1 not the man the office1 has a narrower currency among all manner of persons4 ,that by acts and words generally felt to be discreditable a man may evoke great popular enthusiasm is not at all surprising4 ,the late ,mr4 ,barnum was not the first nor the last to observe that the people love to be humbugged4 ,they love an impostor and a scamp1 and the best service that you can do for a candidate for high political preferment is to prove him a little better than a thief1 but not quite so good as a thug4 ,,vii4 ,the view is often taken that a representative is the same thing as a delegate2 that he is to have1 and can honestly entertain1 no opinion that is at variance with the whims and the caprices of his constituents4 ,this is the very reductio ad absurdum of representative government4 ,that it is the dominant theory of the future there can be little doubt1 for it is of a piece with the progress downward which is the invariable and unbroken tendency of republican institutions4 ,it fits in well with manhood suffrage1 rotation in office1 unrestricted patronage1 assessment of subordinates1 an elective judiciary and the rest of it4 ,this theory of representative institutions is the last and lowest stage in our pleasant performance of shooting ,niagara4 ,when it shall have universal recognition and assent we shall have been fairly engulfed in the whirlpool1 and the buzzard of anarchy may hopefully whet his beak for the national carcass4 ,my view of the matter--which has the further merit of being the view held by those who founded this ,government--is that a man holding office from and for the people is in conscience and honor bound to do what seems to his judgment best for the general welfare1 respectfully regardless of any and all other considerations4 ,this is especially true of legislators1 to whom such specific instructions as constituents sometimes send are an impertinence and an insult4 ,pushed to its logical conclusion1 the delegate idea would remove all necessity of electing men of brains and judgment2 one man properly connected with his constituents by telegraph would make as good a legislator as another4 ,indeed1 as a matter of economy1 one representative should act for many constituencies1 receiving his instructions how to vote from mass meetings in each4 ,this1 besides being logical1 would have the added advantage of widening and hardening the power of the local bosses1 who1 by properly managing the showing of hands could have the same beneficent influence in national affairs that they now enjoy in municipal4 ,the plan would be a pretty good one if there were not so many other ways for the ,nation to go to the ,devil that it appears needless4 ,,viii4 ,with a wiser wisdom than was given to them1 our forefathers in making the ,constitution would not have provided that each ,house of ,congress shall be the judge of the elections1 returns and qualifications of its own members4 ,they would have foreseen that a ruling majority of ,congress could not safely be trusted to exercise this power justly in the public interest1 but would abuse it in the interest of party4 ,a man's right to sit in a legislative body should be determined1 not by that body1 which has neither the impartiality1 the knowledge of evidence nor the time to determine it rightly1 but by the courts of law4 ,that is how it is done in ,england1 where ,parliament voluntarily surrendered the right to say by whom the constituencies shall be represented1 and there is no disposition to resume it4 ,as the vices hunt in packs1 so1 too1 virtues are gregarious2 if our ,congress had the righteousness to decide contested elections justly it would have also the self-denial not to wish to decide them at all4 ,,ix ,the purpose of the legislative custom of eulogizing dead members of ,congress is not apparent unless it is to add a terror to death and make honorable and self-respecting members rather bear the ills they have than escape through the gates of death to others that they know a good deal about4 ,if a member of that kind1 who has had the bad luck to go before1 could be consulted he would indubitably say that he was sorry to be dead2 and that is not a natural frame of mind in one who is exempt from the necessity of himself delivering a eulogy4 ,it may be urged that the ,congressional eulogy expresses in a general way the eulogist's notion of what he would like to have somebody say of himself when he is by death elected to the ,lower ,house4 ,if so1 then ,heaven help him to a better taste4 ,meanwhile it is a patriotic duty to prevent him from indulging at the public expense the taste that he has4 ,there have been a few men in ,congress who could speak of the character and services of a departed member with truth and even eloquence4 ,one such was ,senator ,vest4 ,of many others1 the most charitable thing that one can conscientiously say is that one would a little rather hear a eulogy by them than on them4 ,considering that there are many kinds of brains and only one kind of no brains1 their diversity of gifts is remarkable1 but one characteristic they have in common3 they are all poets4 ,their efforts in the way of eulogium illustrate and illuminate ,pascal's obscure saying that poetry is a particular sadness4 ,if not sad themselves1 they are at least the cause of sadness in others1 for no sooner do they take to their legs to remind us that life is fleeting1 and to make us glad that it is1 than they burst into bloom as poets all6 ,some one has said that in the contemplation of death there is something that belittles4 ,perhaps that explains the transformation4 ,anyhow the ,congressional eulogist takes to verse as naturally as a moth to a candle1 and with about the same result to his reputation for sense4 ,the poetry is commonly not his own2 what it violates every law of sense1 fitness1 metre1 rhyme and taste it is4 ,but nine times in ten it is some dog's-eared1 shop-worn quotation from one of the standard bards1 usually ,shakspere4 ,there are familiar passages from that poet which have been so often heard in the halls of legislation that they have acquired an infamy which unfits them for publication in a decent family newspaper2 and ,shakspere himself1 reposing in ,elysium on his bed of asphodel and moly1 omits them when reading his complete works to the shades of ,kit ,marlowe and ,ben ,jonson1 for their sins4 ,this whole business ought to be cut out ,it is not only a waste of time and a sore trial to the patience of the country2 it is absolutely immoral4 ,it is not true that a member of ,congress who1 while living was a most ordinary mortal1 becomes by the accident of death a hero1 a saint1 an example to ,american youth4 ,nobody believes these abominable eulogies1 and nobody should be permitted to utter them in the time and place designated for another purpose4 ,a tribute that is exacted by custom and has not the fire and light of spontaneity is without sincerity or sense4 ,a simple resolution of regret and respect is all that the occasion requires and would not inhibit any further utterance that friends and admirers of the deceased might be moved to make elsewhere4 ,if any bereaved gentlemen1 feeling his heart getting into his head1 wishes to tickle his ear with his tongue by way of standardizing his emotion let him hire a hall and do so4 ,but he should not make the ,capitol a ,place of ,wailing and the ,congressional ,record a book of bathos4 ,,some ,,features ,,of ,,the ,,law ,i4 ,,there is a difference between religion and the amazing circumstructure which1 under the name of theology1 the priesthoods have builded round about it1 which for centuries they made the world believe was the true temple1 and which1 after incalculable mischiefs wrought1 immeasurable blood spilled in its extension and consolidation1 is only now beginning to crumble at the touch of reason4 ,there is the same difference between the laws and the law--the naked statutes 7bad enough1 ,god knows7 and the incomputable additions made to them by lawyers4 ,this immense body of superingenious writings it is that we all are responsible to in person and property4 ,it is unquestionable authority for setting aside any statute that any legislative body ever passed or can pass4 ,in it are dictates of recognized validity for turning topsy-turvy every principle of justice and reversing every decree of reason4 ,there is no fallacy so monstrous1 no deduction so hideously unrelated to common sense1 as not to receive1 somewhere in the myriad pages of this awful compilation1 a support that any judge in the land would be proud to recognize with a decision if ably persuaded4 ,i do not say that the lawyers are altogether responsible for the existence of this mass of disastrous rubbish1 nor for its domination of the laws4 ,they only create and thrust it down our throats2 we are guilty of contributory negligence in not biting the spoon4 ,as long as there exists the right of appeal there is a chance of acquittal4 ,otherwise the right of appeal would be a sham and an insult more intolerable1 even1 than that of the man convicted of murder to say why he should not receive the sentence which nothing he may say will avert4 ,so long as acquittal may ensue guilt is not established4 ,why1 than are men sentenced before they are proved guilty8 ,why are they punished in the middle of proceedings against them8 ,a lawyer can reply to these questions in a thousand ingenious ways2 there is but one answer4 ,it is because we are a barbarous race1 submitting to laws made by lawyers for lawyers4 ,let the legal fraternity reflect that a lawyer is one whose profession it is to circumvent the law2 that it is a part of his business to mislead and befog the court of which he is an officer2 that it is considered right and reasonable for him to live by a division of the spoils of crime and misdemeanor2 that the utmost atonement he ever makes for acquitting a man whom he knows to be guilty is to convict a man whom he knows to be innocent4 ,i have looked into this thing a bit and it is my judgment that all the methods of our courts1 and the traditions of bench and bar exist and are perpetuated1 altered and improved1 for the one purpose of enabling the lawyers as a class to exact the greatest amount of money from the rest of mankind4 ,the laws are mostly made by lawyers1 and so made as to encourage and compel litigation4 ,by lawyers they are interpreted and by lawyers enforced for their own profit and advantage4 ,the whole intricate and interminable machinery of precedent1 rulings1 decisions1 objections1 writs of error1 motions for new trials1 appeals1 reversals1 affirmations and the rest of it1 is a transparent and iniquitous systems of cinching4 ,what remedy would ,i propose8 ,none4 ,there is none to propose4 ,the lawyers have got us and they mean to keep us4 ,but if thoughtless children of the frontier sometimes rise to tar and feather the legal pelt may ,god's grace go with them and amen4 ,i do not believe there is a lawyer in ,heaven1 but by a bath of tar and a coating of hen's-down they can be made to resemble angels more nearly than by any other process4 ,the matchless villainy of making men suffer for crimes of which they may eventually be acquitted is consistent with our entire system of laws--a system so complicated and contradictory that a judge simply does as he pleases1 subject only to the custom of giving for his action reasons that at his option may or may not be derived from the statute4 ,he may sternly affirm that he sits there to interpret the law as he finds it1 not to make it accord with his personal notions of right and justice4 ,or he may declare that it could never have been the ,legislature's intention to do wrong1 and so1 shielded by the useful phrase contra bonos mores1 pronounce that illegal which he chooses to consider inexpedient4 ,or he may be guided by either of any two inconsistent precedents1 as best suits his purpose4 ,or he may throw aside both statute and precedent1 disregard good morals1 and justify the judgment that he wishes to deliver by what other lawyers have written in books1 and still others1 without anybody's authority1 have chosen to accept as a part of the law4 ,i have in mind judges whom ,i have observed to do all these things in a single term of court1 and could mention one who has done them all in a single decision1 and that not a very long one4 ,the amazing feature of the matter is that all these methods are lawful--made so1 not by legislative enactment1 but by the judges4 ,language can not be used with sufficient lucidity and positiveness to land them4 ,the legal purpose of a preliminary examination is not the discovery of a criminal2 it is the ascertaining of the probable guilt or innocence of the person already charged4 ,to permit that person's counsel to insult and madden the various assisting witnesses in the hope of making them seem to incriminate themselves instead of him by statements that may afterward be used to confuse a jury--that is perversion of law to defeat justice4 ,the outrageous character of the practice is seen to better advantage what contrasted with the tender consideration enjoyed by the person actually accused and presumably guilty--the presumption of his innocence being as futile a fiction as that a sheep's tail is a leg when called so4 ,actually1 the prisoner in a criminal trial is the only person supposed to have a knowledge of the facts who is not compelled to testify6 ,and this amazing exemption is given him by way of immunity from the snares and pitfalls with which the paths of all witnesses are wantonly beset6 ,to a visiting ,lunarian it would seem strange indeed that in a ,terrestrial court of justice it is not deemed desirable for an accused person to incriminate himself1 and that it is deemed desirable for a subpoena to be more dreaded than a warrant4 ,when a child1 a wife1 a servant1 a student--any one under personal authority or bound by obligation of honor--is accused or suspected an explanation is demanded1 and refusal to testify is held1 and rightly held1 a confession of guilt ,to question the accused--rigorously and sharply to examine him on all matters relating to the offense1 and even trap him if he seem to be lying--that is ,nature's method of criminal procedure2 why in our public trials do we forego its advantages8 ,it may annoy2 a person arrested for crime must expect annoyance4 ,it can not make an innocent man incriminate himself1 not even a witness1 but it can make a rogue do so1 and therein lies its value4 ,any pressure short of physical torture or the threat of it1 that can be put upon a rogue to make him assist in his own undoing is just and therefore expedient4 ,this ancient and efficient safeguard to rascality1 the right of a witness to refuse to testify when his testimony would tend to convict him of crime1 has been strengthened by a decision of the ,united ,states ,supreme ,court4 ,that will probably add another century or two to its mischievous existence1 and possibly prove the first act in such an extension of it that eventually a witness can not be compelled to testify at all4 ,in fact it is difficult to see how he can be compelled to now if he has the hardihood to exercise his constitutional right without shame and with an intelligent consciousness of its limitless application4 ,the case in which the ,supreme ,court made the decision was one in which a witness refused to say whether he had received from a defendant railway company a rate on grain shipments lower than the rate open to all shippers4 ,the trial was in the ,united ,states ,district ,court for the ,northern ,district of ,illinois1 and ,judge ,gresham chucked the scoundrel into jail4 ,he naturally applied to the ,supreme ,court for relief1 and that high tribunal gave joy to every known or secret malefactor in the country by deciding--according to law1 no doubt--that witnesses in a criminal case can not be compelled to testify to anything that might tend to criminate them in any way1 or subject them to possible prosecution4 ,the italics are my own and seem to me to indicate1 about as clearly as extended comment could1 the absolutely boundless nature of the immunity that the decision confirms or confers4 ,it is to be hoped that some public-spirited gentleman called to the stand in some celebrated case may point the country's attention to the state of the law by refusing to tell his name1 age or occupation1 or answer any question whatever4 ,and it would be a fitting finale to the farce if he would threaten the too curious attorney with an action for damages for compelling a disclosure of character4 ,most lawyers have made so profound a study of human nature as to think that if they have shown a man to be of loose life with regard to women they have shown him to be one that would tell needless lies to a jury--a conviction unsupported by the familiar facts of life and character4 ,different men have different vices1 and addiction to one kind of upsetting sin does not imply addiction to an unrelated kind4 ,doubtless a rake is a liar in so far as is needful to concealment1 but it does not follow that he will commit perjury to save a horsethief from the penitentiary or send a good man to the gallows4 ,as to lying1 generally1 he is not conspicuously worse than the mere lover1 male or female2 for lovers have been liars from the beginning of time4 ,they deceive when it is necessary and when it is not4 ,schopenhauer says that it is because of a sense of guilt--they contemplate the commission of a crime and1 like other criminals1 cover their tracks4 ,i am not prepared to say if that is the true explanation1 but to the fact to be explained ,i am ready to testify with lifted arms4 ,yet no cross-examining attorney tries to break the credibility of a witness by showing that he is in love4 ,an habitual liar1 if disinterested1 makes about as good a witness as anybody4 ,there is really no such thing as the lust of lying3 falsehoods are told for advantage--commonly a shadowy and illusory advantage1 but one distinctly enough had in mind4 ,discerning no opportunity to promote his interest1 tickle his vanity or feed a grudge1 the habitual liar will tell the truth4 ,if lawyers would study human nature with half the assiduity that they give to resolution of hairs into their longitudinal elements they would be better fitted for service of the devil than they have now the usefulness to be4 ,i have always asserted the right and expediency of cross-examining attorneys in court with a view to testing their credibility4 ,an attorney's relation to the trial is closer and more important than that of a witness4 ,he has more to say and more opportunities to deceive the jury1 not only by naked lying1 but by both suppressio veri and suggestio falsi4 ,why is it not important to ascertain his credibility2 and if an inquiry into his private life and public reputation will assist1 as himself avers1 why should he not be put upon the grill and compelled to sweat out the desired incrimination8 ,i should think it might give good results1 for example1 to compel him to answer a few questions touching1 not his private life1 but his professional4 ,somewhat like this3 ,did you ever defend a client1 knowing him to be guilty8 ,what was your motive in doing so8 ,but in addition to your love of fair play had you not also the hope and assurance of a fee8 ,in defending your guilty client did you declare your belief in his innocence8 ,yes1 ,i understand1 but necessary as it may have been 7in that it helped to defeat justice and earn your fee7 was not your declaration a lie8 ,do you believe it right to lie for the purpose of circumventing justice8--yes or no8 ,do you believe it right to lie for personal gain--yes or no8 ,then why did you do both8 ,a man who lies to beat the laws and fill his purse is--what8 ,in defending a murderer did you ever misrepresent the character1 acts1 motives and intentions of the man that he murdered--never mind the purpose and effect of such misrepresentation--yes or no8 ,that is what we call slander of the dead1 is it not8 ,what is the most accurate name you can think of for one who slanders the dead to defeat justice and promote his own fortune8 ,yes1 ,i know--such practices are allowed by the 'ethics' of your profession1 but can you point to any evidence that they are allowed by ,jesus ,christ8 ,if in former trials you have obstructed justice by slander of the dead1 by falsely affirming the innocence of the guilty1 by cheating in argument1 by deceiving the court whom you are sworn to serve and assist1 and have done all this for personal gain1 do you expect1 and is it reasonable for you to expect1 the jury in this case to believe you8 ,one moment more1 please4 ,did you ever accept an annual1 or other fee conditioned on your not taking any action against a corporation8 ,while in receipt of such refrainer--,i beg you pardon1 retainer--did you ever prosecute a blackmailer8 ,it will be seen that in testing the credibility of a lawyer it is needless to go into his private life and his character as a man and a citizen3 his professional practices are an ample field in which to search for offenses against man and ,god4 ,indeed1 it is sufficient simply to ask him3 ,what is your view of 'the ethics of your profession' as a suitable standard of conduct for a pirate of the ,spanish ,main8 ,the moral sense of the laymen is dimly conscious of something wrong in the ethics of the noble profession2 the lawyers affirming1 rightly enough1 a public necessity for them and their mercenary services1 permit their thrift to construe it vaguely as personal justification4 ,but nobody has blown away from the matter its brumous encompassment and let in the light upon it ,it is very simple4 ,is it honorable for a lawyer to try to clear a man that he knows deserves conviction8 ,that is not the entire question by much4 ,is it honorable to pretend to believe what you do not believe8 ,is it honorable to lie8 ,i submit that these questions are not answered affirmatively by showing the disadvantage to the public and to civilization of a lawyer refusing to serve a known offender4 ,the popular interest1 like any other good cause1 can be and commonly is1 served by foul means4 ,justice itself may be promoted by acts essentially unjust4 ,in serving a sordid ambition a powerful scoundrel may by acts in themselves wicked augment the prosperity of a whole nation4 ,i have not the right to deceive and lie in order to advantage my fellowmen1 any more than ,i have the right to steal or murder to advantage them1 nor have my fellowmen the power to grant me that indulgence4 ,the question of a lawyer's right to clear a known criminal 7with the several questions involved7 is not answered affirmatively by showing that the law forbids him to decline a case for reasons personal to himself--not even if we admit the statute's moral authority4 ,preservation of conscience and character is a civic duty1 as well as a personal2 one's fellow-men have a distinct interest in it4 ,that1 ,i admit1 is an argument rather in the manner of an attorney2 clearly enough the intent of this statute is to compel an attorney to cheat and lie for any rascal that wants him to4 ,in that sense it may be regarded as a law softening the rigor of all laws2 it does not mitigate punishments1 but mitigates the chance of incurring them4 ,the infamy of it lies in forbidding an attorney to be a gentleman4 ,like all laws it falls something short of its intent3 many attorneys1 even some who defend that law1 are as honorable as is consistent with the practice of deceit to serve crime4 ,it will not do to say that an attorney in defending a client is not compelled to cheat and lie4 ,what kind of defense could be made by any one who did not profess belief in the innocence of his client8--did not affirm it in the most serious and impressive way8--did not lie8 ,how would it profit the defense to be conducted by one who would not meet the prosecution's grave asseverations of belief in the prisoner's guilt by equally grave assurances of faith in his innocence8 ,and in point of fact1 when was counsel for the defense ever known to forego the advantage of that solemn falsehood8 ,if ,i am asked what would become of accused persons if they had to prove their innocence to the lawyers before making a defense in court1 ,i reply that ,i do not know2 and in my turn ,i ask3 ,what would become of ,humpty ,dumpty if all the king's horses and all the king's men were an isosceles triangle8 ,it all amounts to this1 that lawyers want clients and are not particular about the kind of clients that they get ,all this is very ugly work1 and a public interest that can not be served without it would better be unserved4 ,i grant1 in short1 'tis better all around ,that ambidextrous consciences abound ,in courts of law to do the dirty work ,that self-respecting scavengers would shirk4 ,what then8 ,who serves however clean a plan ,by doing dirty work1 he is a dirty man4 ,but in point of fact ,i do not grant any such thing4 ,it is not for the public interest that a rogue have the same freedom of defense as an honest man2 it should be a good deal harder for him4 ,his troubles should begin1 not when he seeks acquital1 but when he seeks counsel4 ,it would be better for the community if he could not obtain the services of a reputable attorney1 or any attorney at all4 ,a defense that can not be made without his attorney's actual knowledge of his guilt should be impossible to him4 ,nor should he be permitted to remain off the witness stand lest he incriminate himself4 ,it ought to be the aim of the court to let him incriminate himself--to make him do so if his testimony will4 ,in our courts that natural method would serve the ends of justice greatly better than the one that we have4 ,testimony of the guilty would assist in conviction2 that of the innocent would not4 ,as to the general question of a judge's right to inflict arbitrary punishment for words that he may be pleased to hold disrespectful to himself or another judge1 ,i do not myself believe that any such right exists2 the practice seems to be merely a survival--a heritage from the dark days of irresponsible power1 when the scope of judicial authority had no other bounds than fear of the royal gout or indigestion4 ,if in these modern days the same right is to exist it may be necessary to revive the old checks upon it by restoring the throne4 ,in freeing us from the monarchial chain1 the coalition of ,european ,powers commonly known in ,american history as the valor of our forefathers stripped us starker than they knew4 ,suppose an attorney should find his client's interests imperiled by a prejudiced or corrupt judge--what is he to do8 ,if he may not make representations to that effect1 supporting them with evidence1 where evidence is possible and by inference where it is not1 what means of protection shall he venture to adopt8 ,if it be urged in objection that judges are never prejudiced nor corrupt ,i confess that ,i shall have no answer3 the proposition will deprive me of breath4 ,if contempt is not a crime it should not be punished2 if a crime it should be punished as other crimes are punished--by indictment or information1 trial by jury if a jury is demanded1 with all the safeguards that secure an accused person against judicial blunders and judicial bias4 ,the necessity for these safeguards is even greater in cases of contempt than in others--particularly if the prosecuting witness is to sit in judgment on his own grievance4 ,that should1 of course1 not be permitted3 the trial should take place before another judge4 ,why should twelve able-bodied jurymen1 with their oaths to guide them and the law to back1 submit to the dictation of one small judge armed with nothing better than an insolent assumption of authority8 ,a judge has not the moral right to order a jury to acquit1 the utmost that he can rightly do is to point out what state of the law or facts may seem to him unfavorable to conviction4 ,if the jurors1 holding a different view1 persist in conviction the accused will have grounds1 doubtless1 for a new trial4 ,but under no circumstances is a judge justified in requiring a responsible human being to disregard the solemn obligation of an oath4 ,the public ear is dowered with rather more than just enough of clotted nonsense about attacks upon the dignity of the ,bench1 bringing the judiciary into disrepute and the rueful rest of it4 ,i crave leave to remind the solicitudinarians sounding these loud alarums on their several larynges that by persons of understanding men are respected1 not for what they do1 but for what they are1 and that one public functionary will stand as high in their esteem as another if as high in character4 ,the dignity of a wise and righteous judge needs not the artificial safeguarding which is a heritage of the old days when if dissent found a tongue the public executioner cut it out4 ,the ,bench will be sufficiently respected when it is no longer a place where dullards dream and rogues rob--when its personnel is no longer chosen in the back-rooms of tipple-shops1 forced upon yawning conventions and confirmed by the votes of men who neither know what the candidates are nor what they should be4 ,with the gang that we have and under our system must continue to have1 respect is out of the question and ought to be4 ,they are entitled to just as much of its forms and observances as are needful to maintenance of order in their courts and fortification of their lawful power--no more4 ,as to their silence under criticism1 that is as they please4 ,no body but themselves is holding their tongues4 ,,ii4 ,a law under which the unsuccessful respondent in a divorce proceeding may be forbidden to marry again during the life of the successful complainant1 the latter being subject to no such disability1 is infamous infinitely4 ,if the disability is intended as a punishment it is exceptional among legal punishments in that it is inflicted without conviction1 trial or arraignment1 the divorce proceedings being quite another and different matter4 ,it is exceptional in that the period of its continuance1 and therefore the degree of its severity1 are indeterminate2 they are dependent on no limiting statute1 and on neither the will of the power inflicting nor the conduct of the person suffering4 ,to sentence a person to a punishment that is to be mild or severe according to chance or--which is even worse--circumstance1 which but one person1 and that person not officially connected with administration of justice1 can but partly control1 is a monstrous perversion of the main principles that are supposed to underlie the laws4 ,in the case at bar it can be nothing to the woman--possibly herself remarried--whether the man remarries or not2 that is1 can affect only her feelings1 and only such of them as are least creditable to her4 ,yet her self-interest is enlisted against him to do him incessant disservice4 ,by merely caring for her health she increases the sharpness of his punishment--for punishment it is if he feels it such2 every hour that she wrests from death is added to his term4 ,the expediency of preventing a man from marrying1 without having the power to prevent him from making his marriage desirable in the interest of the public and vital to that of some woman1 is not discussable here4 ,if a man is ever justified in poisoning a woman who is no longer his wife it is when1 by way of making him miserable1 the ,state has given him1 or he supposes it to have given him1 a direct and distinct interest in her death4 ,,iii4 ,with a view1 possibly1 to promoting respect for law by making the statutes so conform to public sentiment that none will fall into disesteem and disuse1 it has been advocated that there be a formal recognition of sex in the penal code1 by making a difference in the punishment of men and of women for the same crimes and misdemeanors4 ,the argument is that if women were provided with milder punishment juries would sometimes convict them1 whereas they now commonly get off altogether4 ,the plan is not so new as might be thought4 ,many of the nations of antiquity of whose laws we have knowledge1 and nearly all the ,european nations until within a comparatively recent time1 punished women differently from men for the same offenses4 ,and as recently as the period of the ,early ,puritan in ,new ,england women were punished for some offenses which men might commit without fear if not without reproach4 ,the ducking-stool1 for example1 was an appliance for softening the female temper only4 ,in ,england women used to be burned at the stake for crimes for which men were hanged1 roasting being regarded as the milder punishment4 ,in point of fact1 it was not punishment at all1 the victim being carefully strangled before the fire touched her4 ,burning was simply a method of disposing of the body so expeditiously as to give no occasion and opportunity for the unseemly social rites commonly performed about the scaffold of the erring male by the jocular populace4 ,as lately as #agfc a woman named ,margaret ,biddingfield was burned in ,suffolk as an accomplice in the crime of petty treason4 ,she had assisted in the murder of her husband1 the actual killing being done by a man2 and he was hanged1 as no doubt he richly deserved4 ,for coining1 too 7which was treason71 men were hanged and women burned4 ,this distinction between the sexes was maintained until the year of grace #agij1 after which female offenders ceased to have a stake in the country1 and like ,hood's martial hero1 enlisted in the line4 ,in still earlier days1 before the advantages of fire were understood1 our good grandmothers who sinned were admonished by water--they were drowned2 but in the reign of ,henry ,,iii a woman was hanged--without strangulation1 apparently1 for after a whole day of it she was cut down and pardoned4 ,sorceresses and unfaithful wives were smothered in mud1 as also were unfaithful wives among the ancient ,burgundians4 ,the punishment of unfaithful husbands is not of record2 we only know that there were no austerely virtuous editors to direct the finger of public scorn their way4 ,among the ,anglo-,saxons1 women who had the bad luck to be detected in theft were drowned1 while men meeting with the same mischance died a dry death by hanging4 ,by the early ,danish laws female thieves were buried alive1 whether or not from motives of humanity is not now known4 ,this seems to have been the fashion in ,france also1 for in #acca a woman named ,duplas was scourged and buried alive at ,abbeville1 and in #adfj ,perotte ,mauger1 a receiver of stolen goods1 was inhumed by order of the ,provost of ,paris in front of the public gibbet4 ,in ,germany in the good old days certain kinds of female criminals were impaled1 a punishment too grotesquely horrible for description1 but likely enough considered by the simple ,german of the period conspicuously merciful4 ,it is1 in short1 only recently that the civilized nations have placed the sexes on an equality in the matter of the death penalty for crime1 and the new system is not yet by any means universal4 ,that it is a better system than the old1 or would be if enforced1 is a natural presumption from human progress1 out of which it is evolved4 ,but coincidently with its evolution has evolved also a sentiment adverse to punishment of women at all4 ,but this sentiment appears to be of independent growth and in no way a reaction against that which caused the change4 ,to mitigate the severity of the death penalty for women to some pleasant form of euthanasia1 such as drowning in rose-water1 or in their case to abolish the death penalty altogether and make their capital punishment consist in a brief interment in a jail with a softened name1 would probably do no good1 for whatever form it might take1 it would be1 so far as woman is concerned1 the extreme penalty and crowning disgrace1 and jurors would be as reluctant to inflict it as they now are to inflict hanging4 ,,iv4 ,testators should not1 from the snug security of the grave1 utter a perpetual threat of disinheritance or any other uncomfortable fate to deter an ,american citizen1 even one of his own legatees1 from applying to the courts of his country for redress of any wrong from which he might consider himself as suffering4 ,the courts of law ought to be open to any one conceiving himself a victim of injustice1 and it should be unlawful to abridge the right of complaint by making its exercise more hazardous than it naturally is4 ,doubtless the contesting of wills is a nuisance1 generally speaking1 the contestant conspicuously devoid of moral worth and the verdict singularly unrighteous2 but as long as some testators really are daft1 or subject to interested suasion1 or wantonly sinful1 they should be denied the power to stifle dissent by fining the luckless dissenter4 ,the dead have too much to say in this world at the best1 and it is monstrous and intolerable tyranny for them to stand at the door of the ,temple of ,justice to drive away the suitors that themselves have made4 ,obedience to the commands of the dead should be conditional upon their good behavior1 and it is not good behavior to set up a censure of actions at law among the living4 ,if our courts are not competent to say what actions are proper to be brought and what are unfit to be entertained let us improve them until they are competent1 or abolish them altogether and resort to the mild and humane arbitrament of the dice4 ,but while courts have the civility to exist they should refuse to surrender any part of their duties and responsibilities to such exceedingly private persons as those under six feet of earth1 or sealed up in habitations of hewn stone4 ,persons no longer affectible by human events should be denied a voice in determining the character and trend of them4 ,respect for the wishes of the dead is a tender and beautiful sentiment1 certainly4 ,unfortunately1 it can not be ascertained that they have any wishes4 ,what commonly go by that name are wishes once entertained by living persons who are now dead1 and who in dying renounced them1 along with everything else4 ,like those who entertained them1 the wishes are no longer in existence4 ,the wishes of the dead1 therefore1 are not wishes1 and are not of the dead4 ,why they should have anything more than a sentimental influence upon those still in the flesh1 and be a factor to be reckoned with in the practical affairs of the super-graminous world1 is a question to which the merely human understanding can find no answer1 and it must be referred to the lawyers4 ,when from the tombs a doleful sound is vented1 and thine ear is invited to attend the cry1 an intelligent forethought will suggest that you inquire if it is anything about property4 ,if so pass on--that is no sacred spot4 ,v4 ,much of the testimony in ,french courts1 civil and martial1 appears to consist of personal impressions and opinions of the witnesses4 ,all very improper and mischievous1 no doubt1 if--if what8 ,why1 obviously1 if the judges are unfit to sit in judgment ,by designating them to sit the designating power assumes their fitness--assumes that they know enough to take such things for what they are worth1 to make the necessary allowances2 if needful1 to disregard a witness's opinion altogether4 ,i do not know if they are fit4 ,i do not know that they do make the needful allowances4 ,it is by no means clear to me that any judge or juror1 ,french1 ,american or ,patagonian1 is competent to ascertain the truth when lying witnesses are trying to conceal it under the direction of skilled and conscientiousless attorneys licensed to deceive4 ,but his competence is a basic assumption of the law vesting him with the duty of deciding4 ,having chosen him for that duty the ,french law very logically lets him alone to decide for himself what is evidence and what is not4 ,it does not trust him a little but altogether4 ,it puts him under conditions familiar to him--makes him accessible to just such influences and suasions as he is accustomed to when making conscious and unconscious decisions in his personal affairs4 ,there may be a distinct gain to justice in permitting a witness to say whatever he wants to say4 ,if he is telling the truth he will not contradict himself2 if he is lying the more rope he is given the more surely he will entangle himself4 ,to the service of that end defendants and prisoners should1 ,i think1 be compelled to testify and denied the advantage of declining to answer1 for silence is the refuge of guilt ,in endeavoring by austere means to make an accused person incriminate himself the ,french judge logically applies the same principle that a parent uses with a suspected child4 ,when the ,grandfather of ,his ,country arraigned the wee ,george ,washington for arboricide the accused was not carefully instructed that he need not answer if a truthful answer would tend to convict him4 ,if he had refused to answer he would indubitably have been lambasted until he did answer1 as right richly he would have deserved to be4 ,the custom of permitting a witness to wander at will over the entire field of knowledge1 hearsay1 surmise and opinion has several distinct advantages over our practice4 ,in giving hearsay evidence1 for example1 he may suggest a new and important witness of whom the counsel for the other side would not otherwise have heard1 and who can then be brought into court4 ,on some unguarded and apparently irrelevant statement he may open an entirely new line of inquiry1 or throw upon the case a flood of light4 ,everyone knows what revelations are sometimes evoked by apparently the most insignificant remarks4 ,why should justice be denied a chance to profit that way8 ,there is a still greater advantage in the ,french method4 ,by giving a witness free rein in expression of his personal opinions and feelings we should be able to calculate his frame of mind1 his good or ill will to the prosecution or defense and1 therefore1 to a certain extent his credibility4 ,in our courts he is able by a little solemn perjury to conceal all this1 even from himself1 and pose as an impartial witness1 when in truth1 with regard to the accused1 he is full of rancor or reeking with compassion4 ,in theory our system is perfect4 ,the accused is prosecuted by a public officer1 who having no interest in his conviction1 will serve the ,state without mischievous zeal and perform his disagreeable task with fairness and consideration4 ,he is permitted to entrust his defense to another officer1 whose duty it is to make a rigidly truthful and candid presentation of his case in order to assist the court to a just decision4 ,the jurors1 if there are jurors1 are neither friendly nor hostile1 are open-minded1 intelligent and conscientious4 ,as to the witnesses1 are they not sworn to tell the truth1 the whole truth 7in so far as they are permitted7 and nothing but the truth8 ,what could be finer and better than all this8--what could more certainly assure justice8 ,how close the resemblance is between this ideal picture and what actually occurs all know1 or should know4 ,the judge is commonly an ignoramus incapable of logical thought and with little sense of the dread and awful nature of his responsibility4 ,the prosecuting attorney thinks it due to his reputation to make a record and tries to convict by hook or crook1 even when he is himself persuaded of the defendant's innocence4 ,counsel for the defense is equally unscrupulous for acquittal1 and both1 having industriously coached their witnesses1 contend against each other in deceiving the court by every artifice of which they are masters4 ,witnesses on both sides perjure themselves freely and with almost perfect immunity if detected4 ,at the close of it all the poor weary jurors1 hopelessly bewildered and dumbly resentful of their duping1 render a random or compromise verdict1 or one which best expresses their secret animosity to the lawyer they like least or their faith in the newspapers which they have diligently and disobediently read every night ,commenting upon ,rabelais' old judge who1 when impeached for an outrageous decision1 pleaded his defective eye-sight which made him miscount the spots on the dice1 the most distinguished lawyer of my acquaintance seriously assured me that if all the cases with which he had been connected had been decided with the dice substantial justice would have been done more frequently than it was done4 ,if that is true1 or nearly true1 and ,i believe it1 the ,american's right to sneer at the ,frenchman's judicial methods is still an open question4 ,it is urged that the corrupt practices in our courts of law be uncovered to public view1 whenever that is possible1 by dial impeccable censor1 the press4 ,exposure of rascality is very good--better1 apparently for rascals than for anybody else1 for it usually suggests something rascally which they had overlooked1 and so familiarizes the public with crime that crime no longer begets loathing4 ,if the newspapers of the country are really concerned about corrupter practices than their own and willing to bring our courts up to the ,english standard there is something better than exposure--which fatigues4 ,let the newspapers set about creating a public opinion favorable to non-elective judges1 well paid1 powerful to command respect and holding office for life or good behavior4 ,that is the only way to get good men and great lawyers on the ,bench4 ,as matters are1 we stand and cry for what the ,english have and rail at the way they get it4 ,our boss-made1 press-ridden and mob-fearing paupers and ignoramuses of the ,bench give us as good a quality of justice as we merit ,a better quality awaits us whenever the will to have it is attended by the sense to take it4 ,,arbitration ,,the universal cry for arbitration is either dishonest or unwise4 ,for every evil there are quack remedies galore--especially for every evil that is irremediable4 ,of this order of remedies is arbitration1 for of this order of evils is the inadequate wage of manual labor4 ,since the beginning of authentic history everything has been tried in the hope of divorcing poverty and labor1 but nothing has parted them4 ,it is not conceivable that anything ever will2 success of arbitration1 antecedently improbable1 is demonstrably impossible4 ,most of the work of the world is hard1 disagreeable work1 requiring little intelligence4 ,most of the people of the world are unintelligent--unfit to do any other work4 ,if it were not done by them it would not be done1 and it is the basic work4 ,withdraw them from it and the whole superstructure would topple and fall4 ,yet there is too little of the work1 and there are so many incapable of doing anything else that adequate return is out of the question4 ,for the laboring class there is no hope of an existence that is comfortable in comparison with that of the other class2 the hope of an individual laborer lies in the possibility of fitting himself for higher employment--employment of the head2 not manual but cerebral labor4 ,while selfishness remains the main ingredient of human nature 7and a survey of the centuries accessible to examination shows but a slow and intermittent decrease7 the cerebral workers1 being the wiser and no better1 will manage to take the greater profit4 ,in justice it must be said of them that they extend a warm and sincere invitation to their ranks1 and take apprentices2 every chance of education that the other class enjoys is proof of that4 ,all this is perhaps a trifle abstruse2 let us1 then1 look at arbitration more nearly2 in our time it is1 in form at least something new4 ,it began as international arbitration1 which already1 in settling a few disputes of no great importance1 has shown itself a dangerous remedy4 ,in the necessary negotiation to determine exactly what points to submit to whom1 and how1 and where1 and when to submit them1 and how to carry out the arbitrator's decision1 scores of questions are raised1 upon each of which it is as easy to disagree and fight as upon the original issue4 ,international arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smouldering one2 for disputes that have reached a really acute stage are not submitted4 ,the animosities that it has kindled have been hotter than those it has quenched4 ,industrial arbitration is no better2 it is manifestly worse1 and any law enforcing it and enforcing compliance with its decisions1 is absurd and mischievous4 ,compulsory arbitration is not arbitration1 the essence whereof is voluntary submission of differences and voluntary submission to judgment4 ,if either reference or obedience is enforced the arbitrators are simply a court with no powers to do anything but apply the law4 ,proponents of the fad would do well to consider this3 ,if a party to a labor dispute is compelled to invoke and obey a decision of arbitrators that decision must follow strictly the line of law2 the smallest invasion of any constitutional1 statutory or common-law right will enable him to upset the whole judgment ,no legislative body can establish a tribunal empowered to make and enforce illegal or extra legal decisions2 for making and enforcing legal ones the tribunals that we already have are sufficient ,this talk of compulsory arbitration is the maddest nonsense that the industrial situation has yet evolved4 ,doubtless it is sent upon us for our sins2 but had we not already a plague of inveracity8 ,arbitration of labor disputes means compromise with the unions4 ,it can1 in this country1 mean nothing else1 for the law would not survive a half-dozen failures to concede some part of their demands1 however reasonless4 ,by repeated strikes they would eventually get all their original demand and as much more as on second thought they might choose to ask for4 ,each concession would be1 as it is now1 followed by a new demand1 and the first arbitrators might as well allow them all that they demand and all that they mean to demand hereafter4 ,would not employers be equally unscrupulous4 ,they would not4 ,they could not afford the disturbance1 the stoppage of the business1 the risk of unfair decisions in a country where it is popular to favor and encourage1 not the just1 but the poor4 ,the labor leaders have nothing to lose1 not even their jobs1 for their work is labor leading4 ,their dupes1 by the way1 would be dupes no longer1 for with enforced arbitration the game of follow my leader would pay until there should be nothing to follow him to but empty treasuries of dead industries in an extinct civilization4 ,if there must be enforced arbitration it should at least not apply to that sum of all impudent rascalities1 the sympathetic strike4 ,as to the men who have set up the monstrous claim asserted by the sympathetic strike1 ,i shall refer to the affair of #aijd4 ,if it was creditable in them to feel so much concern about a few hundred aliens in ,illinois1 how about the grievances of the whole body of their countrymen in ,california8 ,when their employers1 who they confess were good to them1 were plundering the ,californians1 they did not strike1 sympathetically nor otherwise4 ,year after year the railway companies picked the pockets of the ,californians2 corrupted their courts and legislatures2 laid its ,briarean hands in exaction upon every industry and interest2 filled the land with lies and false reasoning2 threw honest men into prisons and locked the gates of them against thieves and assassins2 by open defiance of the tax collector denied to children of the poor the advantages of education--did all this and more1 and these honest working men stood loyally by it1 sharing in wages its dishonest gains1 receivers1 in one sense1 of stolen goods4 ,the groans of their neighbors were nothing to them2 even the wrongs of themselves1 their wives and their children did not stir them to revolt4 ,on every breeze that blew1 this great chorus of cries and curses was borne past their ears unheeded4 ,why did they not strike then8 ,where then were their fiery altruists and storm-petrels of industrial disorder8 ,no6--the ingenious gods who have invented the ,debses and ,gomperses1 and humorously branded them with names that would make a cat laugh1 have never put it into their cold selfish hearts to order out their misguided followers to redress a public wrong1 but only to inflict one--to avenge a personal humiliation1 gratify an appetite for notoriety1 slake a thirst for the intoxicating cup of power1 or punish the crime of prosperity4 ,it is a practical1 an illogical1 a turbulent time1 yes2 it always is4 ,the age of ,jesus ,christ was a practical age1 yet ,jesus ,christ was sweetly impractical4 ,in an illogical period ,socrates reasoned clearly1 and logically died for it4 ,nero's time was a time of turbulence1 yet ,seneca's mind was not disturbed1 nor his conscience perverted4 ,compare their fame with the everlasting infamy that time has fixed upon the names of the ,jack ,cades1 the ,robespierres1 the ,tomaso ,nielos--guides and gods of the fierce democracies which rise with a sickening periodicity to defile the page of history with a quickly fading mark of blood and fire1 their own awful example their sole contribution to the good of mankind4 ,to be a child of your time1 imbued with its spirit and endowed with its aims--that is to petition ,posterity for a niche in the ,temple of ,shame4 ,no strike of any prominence ever takes place in this country without the concomitants of violence and destruction of property1 and usually murder4 ,these cheerful incidents one who does not personally suffer them can endure with considerable fortitude1 but the sniveling1 hypocritical condemnation of them by the press that has instigated them and the strikers who have planned and executed them1 and who invariably ascribe them to those whom they most injure2 the solemn offers of the leaders to assist in protecting the imperiled property and avenging the dead1 while openly employing counsel for every incendiary and assassin arrested in spite of them--these are pretty hard to bear4 ,a strike means 7for it includes as its main method7 violence1 lawlessness1 destruction of the property of others than the strikers1 riot and if necessary bloodshed4 ,even when the strikers themselves have no hand in these crimes they are morally liable for the foreknown consequences of their act4 ,nay1 they are morally liable for all the consequences--all the inconveniences and losses to the community1 all the sufferings of the poor entailed by interruptions of trade1 all the privations of other workingmen whom a selfish attention to their own supposed advantage throws out of the closed industries4 ,they are liable in morals and should be made so in law--only that strikes are needless4 ,it is not worth while to create a multitude of complex criminal responsibilities for acts which can easily be prevented by a single and simple one4 ,how8 ,first1 ,i should like to point out that we are hearing a deal too much about a man's inalienable right to work or play1 at his own sovereign will4 ,in so far as that means--and it is always used to mean--his right to quit any kind of work at any moment1 without notice and regardless of consequences to others1 it is false2 there is no such moral right1 and the law should have at least a speaking acquaintance with morality4 ,what is mischievous should be illegal4 ,the various interests of civilization are so complex1 delicate1 intertangled and interdependent that no man1 and no set of men1 should have power to throw the entire scheme into confusion and disorder for pro-motion of a trumpery principle or a class advantage4 ,in dealing with corporations we recognize that4 ,if for any selfish purpose the trade union of railway managers had done what their sacred brakemen and divine firemen did--had decreed that no wheel should turn1 until ,mr4 ,pullman's men should return to work--they would have found themselves all in jail the second day4 ,their right to quit work was not conceded3 they lacked that authenticating credential of moral and legal irresponsibility1 an indurated palm4 ,in a small lockout affecting a mill or two the offender finds a half-hearted support in the law if he is willing to pay enough deputy sheriffs2 but even then he is mounted by the hobnailed populace1 at its back the daily newspapers1 clamoring and spitting like cats4 ,but let the manager of a great railway discharge all its men without warning and kill its own engines6 ,then see what you will see4 ,to commit a wrong so gigantic with impunity a man must wear overalls4 ,how prevent anybody from committing it8 ,how break up this rgime of strikes and boycotts and lockouts1 more disastrous to others than to those at whom the blows are aimed--than to those1 even1 who deliver them4 ,how make all those concerned in the management and operation of great industries1 about which have grown up tangles of related and dependent interests1 conduct them with some regard to the welfare of others8 ,before committing ourselves to the dubious and irretraceable course of ,government ownership1 or to the infectious expedient of a pension system1 is there anything of promise yet untried8--anything of superior simplicity and easier application8 ,i think so4 ,make a breach of labor contract by either party to it a criminal offense punishable by imprisonment ,fine or imprisonment will not do--the employee1 unable to pay the fine1 would commonly go to jail1 the employer seldom4 ,that would not be fair4 ,the purpose of such a law is apparent3 ,labor contracts would then be drawn for a certain time1 securing both employer and employee and 7which is more important7 helpless persons in related and dependent industries--the whole public1 in fact--against sudden and disastrous action by either capital or labor for accomplishment of a purely selfish or frankly impudent end4 ,a strike or lockout compelled to announce itself thirty days in advance would be innocuous to the public1 whilst securing to the party of initiation all the advantages that anybody professes to want--all but the advantage of ruining others and of successfully defying the laws4 ,under the present rgime labor contracts are useless2 either party can violate them with impunity4 ,they offer redress only through a civil suit for damages1 and the employee commonly has nothing with which to conduct an action or satisfy a judgment4 ,the consequence is seen in the incessant and increasing industrial disturbances1 with their ever-attendant crimes against property1 life and liberty--disturbances which by driving capital to investments in which it needs employ no labor1 do more than all the other causes so glibly enumerated by every newspaper and politician1 though by no two alike1 to bring about the hard times--which in their turn cause further and worse disturbances4 ,,industrial ,,discontent ,i4 ,,the time seems to have come when the two antagonistic elements of ,american society should1 and could afford to1 throw off their disguise and frankly declare their principles and purposes4 ,but what1 it may be asked1 are the two antagonistic elements8 ,dividing lines parting the population into two camps more or less hostile may be drawn variously2 for example1 one may be run between the law-abiding and the criminal class4 ,but the elements to which reference is here made are those immemorable and implacable foes which the slang of modern economics roughly and loosely distinguishes as ,capital and ,labor4 ,a more accurate classification--as accurate a one as it is possible to make--would designate them as those who do muscular labor and those who do not4 ,the distinction between rich and poor does not serve3 to the laborer the rich man who works with his hands is not objectionable2 the poor man who does not1 is4 ,consciously or unconsciously1 and alike by those whose necessities compel them to perform it and those whose better fortune enables them to avoid it1 manual labor is considered the most insufferable of human pursuits4 ,it is a pill that the ,tolstois1 the communities and the ,knights of ,labor can not sugarcoat4 ,we may prate of the dignity of labor2 emblazon its praise upon banners2 set apart a day on which to stop work and celebrate it2 shout our teeth loose in its glorification--and1 ,god help our fool souls to better sense1 we think we mean it all6 ,if labor is so good and great a thing let all be thankful1 for all can have as much of it as may be desired4 ,the eight-hour law is not mandatory to the laborer1 nor does possession of leisure entail idleness4 ,it is permitted to the clerk1 the shopman1 the street peddler--to all who live by the light employment of keeping the wolf from the door without eating him--to abandon their ignoble callings1 seize the shovel1 the axe and the sledge-hammer and lay about them right sturdily1 to the ample gratification of their desire4 ,and those who are engaged in more profitable vocations will find that with a part of their incomes they can purchase from their employers the right to work as hard as they like in even the dullest times4 ,manual labor has nothing of dignity1 nothing of beauty4 ,it is a hard1 imperious and dispiriting necessity4 ,he who is condemned to it feels that it sets upon his brow the brand of intellectual inferiority4 ,and that brand of servitude never ceases to burn4 ,in no country and at no time has the laborer had a kindly feeling for the rest of us1 for everywhere and always has he heard in our patronising platitudes the note of contempt4 ,in his repression1 in the denying him the opportunity to avenge his real and imaginary wrongs1 government finds its main usefulness1 activity and justification4 ,jefferson's dictum that governments are instituted among men in order to secure them in life1 liberty and the pursuit of happiness is luminous nonsense4 ,governments are not instituted2 they grow4 ,they are evolved out of the necessity of protecting from the handworker the life and property of the brain worker and the idler4 ,the first is the most dangerous because the most numerous and the least content4 ,take from the science and the art of government1 and from its methods1 whatever has had its origin in the consciousness of his ill-will and the fear of his power and what have you left8 ,a pure republic--that is to say1 no government4 ,i should like it understood that1 if not absolutely devoid of preferences and prejudices1 ,i at least believe myself to be2 that except as to result ,i think no more of one form of government than of another2 and that with reference to results all forms seem to me bad1 but bad in different degrees4 ,if asked my opinion as to the results of our own1 ,i should point to ,homestead1 to ,wardner1 to ,buffalo1 to ,coal ,creek1 to the interminable tale of unpunished murders by individuals and by mobs1 to legislatures and courts unspeakably corrupt and executives of criminal cowardice1 to the prevalence and immunity of plundering trusts and corporations and the monstrous multiplication of millionaires4 ,i should invite attention to the pension roll1 to the similar and incredible extravagance of ,republican and ,democratic ,houses--a plague o' them both6 ,if addressing ,democrats only1 ,i should mention the protective tariff2 if ,republicans1 the hill-tribe clamor for free coinage of silver4 ,i should call to mind the existence of prosperous activity of a thousand lying secret societies having for their sole object mitigation of republican simplicity by means of pageantry and costumes grotesquely resembling those of kings and courtiers1 and titles of address and courtesy exalted enough to draw laughter from an ox4 ,in contemplation of these and a hundred other results1 no less shameful in themselves than significant of the deeper shame beneath and prophetic of the blacker shame to come1 ,i should say3 ,behold the outcome of hardly more than a century of government by the people6 ,behold the superstructure whose foundations our forefathers laid upon the unstable overgrowth of popular caprice surfacing the unplummeted abysm of human depravity6 ,behold the reality behind our dream of the efficacy of forms1 the saving grace of principles1 the magic of words6 ,we have believed in the wisdom of majorities and are fooled2 trusted to the good honor of numbers1 and are betrayed4 ,our touching faith in the liberty of the rascal1 our strange conviction that anarchy making proselytes and bombs is less dangerous than anarchy with a shut mouth and a watched hand--lo1 this is the beginning of the aid of the dream6 ,our ,government has broken down at every point1 and the two irreconcilable elements whose suspensions of hostilities are mistaken for peace are about to try their hands at each other's tempting display of throats4 ,there is no longer so much as a pretense of amity2 apparently there will not much longer be a pretense of regard for mercy and morals4 ,already industrial discontent has attained to the magnitude of war4 ,it is important1 then1 that there be an understanding of principles and purposes4 ,as the combatants will not define their positions truthfully by words1 let us see if it can be inferred from the actions which are said to speak more plainly4 ,if one of the really able men who now direct the destinies of the labor organizations in this country1 could be enticed into the ,palace of ,truth and examined by a skilful catechist he would indubitably say something like this3 ,our ultimate purpose is abolition of the distinction between employer and employee1 which is but a modification of that between master and slave4 ,we propose that the laborer shall be chief owner of all the property and profits of the enterprise in which he is engaged1 and have through his union a controlling voice in all its affairs4 ,we propose to overthrow the system under which a man can grow richer by working with his head than with his hands1 and prevent the man who works with neither from having anything at all4 ,in the attainment of these ends any means is to be judged1 as to its fitness for our use1 with sole regard to its efficacy4 ,we shall punish the innocent for the sins of the guilty4 ,we shall destroy property and life under such circumstances and to such an extent as may seem to us expedient4 ,falsehood1 treachery1 arson1 assassination1 all these we look upon as legitimate if effective4 ,the rules of 'civilized warfare' we shall not observe1 but shall put prisoners to death or torture them1 as we please4 ,we do not recognize a non-union man's right to labor1 nor to live4 ,the right to strike includes the right to strike him4 ,doubtless all that 7and the half is not told7 sounds to the unobservant like a harsh exaggeration1 an imaginative travesty of the principles of labor organizations4 ,it is not a travesty2 it has no element of exaggeration4 ,not in the last twenty-five years has a great strike or lockout occurred in this country without supplying facts1 notorious and undisputed1 upon which some of these confessions of faith are founded4 ,the war is practically a servile insurrection1 and servile insurrections are today what they ever were3 the most cruel and ferocious of all manifestations of human hate4 ,emancipation is rough work2 when he who would be free1 himself strikes the blow1 he can not consider too curiously with what he strikes it nor upon whom it falls4 ,it will profit you to understand1 my fine gentleman with the soft hands1 the character of that which is confronting you4 ,you are not threatened with a bombardment of roses4 ,let us look into the other camp1 where ,general ,hardhead is so engrossed with his own greatness and power as not clearly to hear the shots on his picket line4 ,suppose we hypnotize him and make him open his shut soul to our searching4 ,he will say something like this3 ,in the first place1 ,i claim the right to own and enclose for my own use or disuse as much of the earth's surface as ,i am desirous and able to procure4 ,i and my kind have made laws confirming us in the occupancy of the entire habitable and arable area as fast as we can get it4 ,to the objection that this must eventually here1 as it has actually done elsewhere1 deprive the rest of you places upon which legally to be born1 and exclude you after surreptitious birth as trespassers from all chance to procure directly the fruits of the earth1 ,i reply that you can be born at sea and eat fish4 ,i claim the right to induce you1 by offer of employment1 to colonize yourselves and families about my factories1 and then arbitrarily1 by withdrawing the employment1 break up in a day the homes that you have been years in acquiring where it is no longer possible for you to procure work4 ,in determining your rate of wages when ,i employ you1 ,i claim the right to make your necessities a factor in the problem1 thus making your misfortunes cumulative4 ,by the law of supply and demand 7,god bless its expounder67 the less you have and the less chance to get more1 the more ,i have the right to take from you in labor and the less ,i am bound to give you in wages4 ,i claim the right to ignore the officers of the peace and maintain a private army to subdue you when you rise4 ,i claim the right to make you suffer1 by creating for my advantage an artificial scarcity of the necessaries of life4 ,i claim the right to employ the large powers of the government in advancing my private welfare4 ,as to falsehood1 treachery and the other military virtues with which you threaten me1 ,i shall go1 in them1 as far as you2 but from arson and assassination ,i recoil with horror4 ,you see you have very little to burn1 and you are not more than half alive anyhow4 ,that1 ,i submit1 is a pretty fair definition of the position of the wealthy man who works with his head4 ,it seems worth while to put it on record while he is extant to challenge or verify2 for the probability is that unless he mend his ways he will not much longer be wealthy1 work1 nor have a head4 ,,ii4 ,in discussion of the misdoings at ,homestead and ,coeur d' ,alene it is amusing to observe all the champions of law and order gravely prating of principles and declaring with all the solemnity of owls that these sacred things have been violated4 ,on that ground they have the argument all their own way4 ,indubitably there is hardly a fundamental principle of law and morals that the rioting laborers have not footballed out of the field of consideration4 ,indubitably1 too1 in doing so they have forfeited as they must have expected to forfeit1 all the moral support for which they did not care a tinker's imprecation4 ,if there were any question of their culpability this solemn insistence upon it would lack something of the humor with which it is now invested and which saves the observer from death by dejection4 ,it is not only in discussions of the labor situation that we hear this eternal babble of principles4 ,it is never out of ear1 and in politics is especially clamant4 ,every success in an election is yawped of as a triumph of ,republican 7or ,democratic7 principles4 ,but neither in politics nor in the quarrels of laborers and their employers have principles a place as factors in the problem4 ,their use is to supply to both combatants a vocabulary of accusation and appeal4 ,all the fierce talk of an antagonist's violation of those eternal principles upon which organized society is founded--and the rest of it--what is it but the cry of the dog with the chewed ear8 ,the dog that is chewing foregoes the advantage of song4 ,human contests engaging any number of contestants are not struggles of principles but struggles of interests2 and this is no less true of those decided by the ballot than of those in which the franker bullet gives judgment4 ,nor1 but from considerations of prudence and expediency1 will either party hesitate to transgress the limits of the law and outrage the sense of right4 ,at ,homestead and ,wardner the laborers committed robbery1 pillage and murder1 as striking workmen invariably do when they dare1 and as cowardly newspapers and scoundrel politicians encourage them in doing4 ,but what would you have8 ,they conceive it to be to their interest to do these things4 ,if capitalists conceive it to be to theirs they too would do them4 ,they do not do them for their interest lies in the supremacy of the law--under which they can suffer loss but do not suffer hunger4 ,but they do murder1 say the labor unions2 they bring in gangs of armed mercenaries who shoot down honest workmen striving for their rights4 ,this is the baldest nonsense1 as they know very well who utter it4 ,the ,pinkerton men are mere mercenaries and have no right place in our system1 but there have been no instances of their attacking men not engaged in some unlawful prank4 ,in the fight at ,homestead the workmen were actually intrenched on premises belonging to the other side1 where they had not the ghost of a legal right to be4 ,american working men are not fools2 they know well enough when they are rogues4 ,but confession is not among the military virtues1 and the question4 ,is roguery expedient8 is not so simple that it can be determined by asking the first preacher you meet4 ,it would be very nice and fine all round if idle workmen would not riot nor idle employers meet force with force1 but invoke the impossible ,sheriff4 ,when the ,dragon has been chained in the ,bottomless ,pit and we are living under the rule of the saints1 things will be so ordered1 but in these rascal times revolutions are not made with rosewater1 and this is a revolution4 ,what is being revolutionized is the relation between our old friends4 ,capital and ,labor4 ,the relation has already been altered many times1 doubtless2 once1 we know1 within the period covered by history1 at least in the countries that we call civilized4 ,the relation was formerly a severely simple one--the capitalist owned the laborer4 ,of the difficulty and the cost of abolishing that system it is needless to speak at length4 ,through centuries of time and with an appalling sacrifice of life the effort has gone on1 a continuous war characterized by monstrous infractions of law and morals1 by incalculable cruelty and crime4 ,our own generation has witnessed the culminating triumphs of this revolution1 and of its three mightiest leaders the assassination of two1 the death in exile of the third4 ,and now1 while still the clank of the falling chains is echoing through the world1 and still a mighty multitude of the world's workers is in bondage under the old system1 the others1 for whose liberation was all this expense of spirit in a waste of shame1 are sharply challenging the advantage of the new4 ,the new is1 in troth1 breaking down at every point ,the relation of employer and employee is giving but little better satisfaction than that of master and slave4 ,the difference between the two is1 indeed1 not nearly so broad as we persuade ourselves to think it4 ,in many of the industries there is practically no difference at all1 and the tendency is more and more to effacement of the difference where it exists4 ,labor unions1 strikes and rioting are no new remedies for this insidious disorder2 they were common in ancient ,rome and still more ancient ,egypt4 ,in the twenty-ninth year of ,rameses ,,iii a deputation of workmen employed in the ,theban necropolis met the superintendent and the priests with a statement of their grievances4 ,behold1 said the spokesman1 we are brought to the verge of famine4 ,we have neither food1 nor oil1 nor clothing2 we have no fish2 we have no vegetables4 ,already we have sent up a petition to our sovereign lord the ,pharaoh1 praying that he will give us these things and we are going to appeal to the ,governor that we may have the wherewithal to live4 ,the response to this complaint was one day's rations of corn4 ,this appears to have been enough only while it lasted1 for a few weeks later the workmen were in open revolt4 ,thrice they broke out of their quarter1 rioting like mad and defying the police4 ,whether they were finally shot full of arrows by the ,pinkerton men of the period the record does not state4 ,organized discontent in the laboring population is no new thing under the sun1 but in this century and country it has a new opportunity and ,omniscience alone can forecast the outcome4 ,of one thing we may be very sure1 and the sooner the capitalist can persuade himself to discern it the sooner will his eyes guard his neck3 the relations between those who are able to live without physical toil and those who are not are a long way from final adjustment1 but are about to undergo a profound and essential alteration4 ,that this is to come by peaceful evolution is a hope which has nothing in history to sustain it4 ,there are to be bloody noses and cracked crowns1 and the good people who suffer themselves to be shocked by such things in others will have a chance to try them for themselves4 ,the working man is not troubling himself greatly about a just allotment of these blessings2 so that the greater part go to those who do not work with their hands he will not consider too curiously any person's claim to exemption4 ,it would perhaps better harmonize with his sense of the fitness of things 7as it would1 no doubt1 with that of the angels7 if the advantages of the transitional period fell mostly to the share of such star-spangled impostors as ,andrew ,carnegie2 but almost any distribution that is sufficiently objectionable as a whole to the other side will be acceptable to the distributor4 ,in the mean time it is to be wished that the moralize1 and homilizers who prate of principles may have a little damnation dealt out to them on account4 ,the head that is unable to entertain a philosophical view of the situation would be notably advantaged by removal4 ,,iii4 ,it is the immigration of the oppressed of all nations that has made this country one of the worst on the face of the earth4 ,the change from good to bad took place within a generation--so quickly that few of us have had the nimbleness of apprehension to get it through our heads4 ,we go on screaming our eagle in the self-same note of triumph that we were taught at our fathers' knees before the eagle became a buzzard4 ,america is still an asylum for the oppressed2 and still1 as always and everywhere1 the oppressed are unworthy of asylum1 avenging upon those who give them sanctuary the wrongs from which they fled4 ,the saddest thing about oppression is that it makes its victims unfit for anything but to be oppressed--makes them dangerous alike to their tyrants1 their saviors and themselves4 ,in the end they turn out to be fairly energetic oppressors4 ,the gentleman in the cesspool invites compassion1 certainly1 but we may be very well assured1 before undertaking his relief without a pole1 that his conception of a prosperous life is merely to have his nose above the surface with another gentleman underfoot4 ,all languages are spoken in ,hell1 but chiefly those of ,southeastern ,europe4 ,i do not say that a man fresh from the fields or the factories of ,europe--even of ,southeastern ,europe--may not be a good man2 ,i say only that1 as a matter of fact1 he commonly is not4 ,in nine instances in ten he is a brute whom it would be ,god's mercy to drown on his arrival1 for he is constitutionally unhappy4 ,let us not deny him his grievance3 he works--when he works--for men no better than himself4 ,he is required1 in many instances1 to take a part of his pay in truck at prices of breathless altitude2 and the pay itself is inadequate--hardly more than double what he could get in his own country4 ,against all this his howl is justified2 but his rioting and assassination are not--not even when directed against the property and persons of his employers4 ,when directed against the persons of other laborers1 who choose to exercise the fundamental human right to work for whom and for what pay they please--when he denies this right1 and with it the right of organized society to exist1 the necessity of shooting him is not only apparent2 it is conspicuous and imperative4 ,that he and his horrible kind1 of whatever nationality1 are usually forgiven this just debt of nature1 and suffered to execute1 like rivers1 their annual spring rise1 constitutes the most valid of the many indictments that decent ,americans by birth or adoption find against the feeble form of government under which their country groans1 ,a nation that will not enforce its laws has no claim to the respect and allegiance of its people4 ,this citizen soldiery business is a ghastly failure4 ,the ,national ,guard is not worth the price of its uniforms4 ,it is intended to be a ,greater ,constabulary3 its purpose is to suppress disorders with which the civil authorities are too feeble to cope4 ,how often does it do so8 ,nine times in ten it fraternizes with1 or is cowed or beaten by the savage mobs which it is called upon to kill4 ,in a country with a competent militia and competent men to use it there would be crime enough and some to spare1 but no rioting4 ,rioting in a ,republic is without a shadow of excuse4 ,if we have bad laws1 or if our good laws are not enforced2 if corporations and capital are tyrannous and strong2 if white men murder one another and black men outrage white women1 all this is our own fault--the fault of those1 among others1 who seek redress or revenge by rioting and lynching4 ,the people have always as good government1 as good industrial conditions1 as effective protection of person1 property and liberty1 as they deserve4 ,they can have what ever they have the honesty to desire and the sense to set about getting in the right way4 ,if as citizens of a ,republic we lack the virtue and intelligence rightly to use the supreme power of the ballot so that it ,executes a freeman's will ,as lightning does the will of ,god we are unfit to be citizens of a ,republic1 undeserving of peace1 prosperity and liberty1 and have no right to rise against conditions due to our own moral and intellectual delinquency4 ,there is a simple way1 ,messieurs the ,masses to correct public evils3 put wise and good men into power4 ,if you can not do that for you are not yourselves wise1 or will not for you are not yourselves good1 you deserve to be oppressed when you submit and shot when you rise4 ,to shoot a rioter or lyncher is a high kind of mercy4 ,suppose that twenty-five years ago 7the longer ago the better7 two or three criminal mobs in succession had been exterminated in that way1 as the law provides4 ,suppose that several scores of lives had been so taken1 including even those of innocent spectators--though that kind of angel does not abound in the vicinity of mobs4 ,suppose that no demagogue judges had permitted officers in command of the firing lines to be persecuted in the courts4 ,suppose that these events had writ themselves large and red in the public memory4 ,how many lives would this have saved8 ,just as many as since have been taken and lost by rioters1 plus those that for a long time to come will be taken1 and minus those that were taken at that time4 ,make your own computation from your own data2 ,i insist only that a rioter shot in time saves nine4 ,you know--you1 the ,people--that all this is true4 ,you know that in a ,republic lawlessness is villainy entailing greater evils than it cures--that it cures none4 ,you know that even the money power is powerful only through your own dishonesty and cowardice4 ,you know that nobody can bribe or intimidate a voter who will not take a bribe or suffer himself to be intimidated--that there can be no money power in a nation of honorable and courageous men4 ,you know that bosses and machines can not control you if you will not suffer then to divide you into parties by playing upon your credulity and senseless passions4 ,you know all this1 and know it all the time4 ,yet not a man has the courage to stand forth and say to your faces what you know in your hearts4 ,well1 ,messieurs the ,masses1 ,i don't consider you dangerous--not very4 ,i have not observed that you want to tear anybody to pieces for confessing your sins1 even if at the same time he confesses his own4 ,from a considerable experience in that sort of thing ,i judge that you rather like it1 and that he whom1 secretly1 you most despise is he who echoes back to you what he is pleased to think you think and flatters you for gain4 ,anyhow1 for some reason1 ,i never hear you speak well of newspaper men and politicians1 though in the shadow of your disesteem they get an occasional gleam of consolation by speaking fairly well of one another4 ,,crime ,,and ,,its ,,correctives ,i4 ,,sociologists have been debating the theory that the impulse to commit crime is a disease1 and the ayes appear to have it--not the impulse but the decision4 ,it is gratifying and profitable to have the point settled3 we now know where we are at1 and can take our course accordingly4 ,it has for a number of years been known to all but a few back-number physicians--survivals from an exhausted rgime--that all disease is caused by bacilli1 which worm themselves into the organs that secrete health and enjoin them from the performance of that rite4 ,the medical conservatives mentioned attempt to whittle away the value and significances of this theory by affirming its inadequacy to account for such disorders as broken heads1 sunstroke1 superfluous toes1 home-sickness1 burns and strangulation on the gallows2 but against the testimony of so eminent bacteriologists as ,drs4 ,koch and ,pasteur their carping is as that of the idle angler4 ,the bacillus is not to be denied2 he has brought his blankets and is here to stay until evicted1 and eviction can not be wrought by talking4 ,doubtless we may confidently expect his eventual suppression by a fresher and more ingenious disturber of the physiological peace1 but the bacillus is now chief among ten thousand evils and it is futile to attempt to read him out of the party4 ,it follows that in order to deal intelligently with the criminal impulse in our afflicted fellow-citizens we must discover the bacillus of crime4 ,to that end ,i think that the bodies of hanged assassins and such persons of low degree as have been gathered to their fathers by the cares of public office or consumed by the rust of inactivity in prison should be handed over to the microscopists for examination4 ,the bore1 too1 offers a fine field for research1 and might justly enough be examined alive4 ,whether there is one general--or as the ancient and honorable orders prefer to say1 grand--bacillus1 producing a general 7or grand7 criminal impulse covering a multitude of sins1 or an infinite number of well defined and several bacilli1 each inciting to a particular crime1 is a question to the determination of which the most distinguished microscopist might be proud to devote the powers of his eye4 ,if the latter is the case it will somewhat complicate the treatment1 for clearly the patient afflicted with chronic robbery will require medicines different from those that might be efficacious in a gentleman suffering from constitutional theft or the desire to represent his ,district in the ,assembly4 ,but it is permitted to us to hope that all crimes1 like all arts1 are essentially one2 that murder1 arson and conservatism are but different symptoms of the same physical disorder1 back of which is a microbe vincible to a single medicament1 albeit the same awaits discovery4 ,in the fascinating theory of the unity of crime we may not unreasonably hope to find another evidence of the brotherhood of man1 another spiritual bond tending to draw the various classes of society more closely together4 ,from time to time it is said that a wave of some kind of crime is sweeping the country4 ,it is all nonsense about waves of crime4 ,occasionally occurs some crime notable for its unusual features1 or for the renown of those concerned4 ,it arrests public attention1 which for a time is directed to that particular kind of crane1 and the newspapers1 with business-like instinct1 give1 for a season1 unusual prominence to the record of similar offenses4 ,then1 self-deceived1 they talk about a wave1 or epidemic of it4 ,so far is this from the truth that one of the most noticeable characteristics of crime is the steady and unbroken monotony of its occurrence in certain forms4 ,there is nothing so dull and unvarying as this tedious uniformity of repetition4 ,the march of crime is never retarded1 never accelerated4 ,the criminals appear to be thoroughly well satisfied with their annual average1 as shown by the periodical reports of their secretary1 the statistician4 ,a marked illustration occurs to me4 ,many years ago in ,london a well-known and respectable gentleman was brutally garroted4 ,it was during the silly season--between sessions of ,parliament1 when the newspapers are likely to be dull4 ,they at once began to report cases of garroting4 ,there appeared to be an epidemic of garroting4 ,the public mind was terribly excited1 and when ,parliament met it hastened to pass the infamous flogging act--a distinct reversion to the senseless and discredited methods of physical torture1 so alluring to the half instructed mind of the average journalist of today4 ,yet the statistics published by the ,home ,secretary under whose administration the act was passed show that neither at the time of the alarm was there any material increase of garroting1 nor in the period of public tranquillity succeeding was there any appreciable diminution4 ,,ii4 ,by advocating painless removal of incurable idiots and lunatics1 incorrigible criminals and irreclaimable drunkards from this vale of tears ,dr4 ,w4 ,duncan ,mc,kim provoked many a respectable but otherwise blameless person to throw a catfit of great complexity and power4 ,yet ,dr4 ,mc,kim seemed only to anticipate the trend of public opinion and forecast its crystallization into law4 ,it is rapidly becoming a question of not what we ought to do with these unfortunates1 but what we shall be compelled to do4 ,study of the statistics of the matter shows that in all civilized countries mental and moral diseases are increasing1 proportionately to population1 at a rate which in the course of a few generations will make it impossible for the healthy to care for the afflicted4 ,to do so will require the entire revenue which it is possible to raise by taxation--will absorb all the profits of all the industries and professions and make deeper and deeper inroads upon the capital from which they are derived4 ,when it comes to that there can be but one result4 ,high and humanizing sentiments are angel visitants1 whom we entertain with pride and pleasure1 but when fine entertainment becomes too costly to be borne we speed the parting guest forthwith4 ,and it may happen that in inviting to his vacant place a less exciting successor--that in replacing ,sentiment with ,reason--we shall1 in this instance1 learn to our joy that we do but entertain another angel4 ,for nothing is so heavenly as ,reason2 nothing is so sweet and compassionate as her voice-- ,not harsh and crabbed1 as dull fools suppose1 ,but musical as is ,apollo's lute1 ,is it cruel1 is it heartless1 is it barbarous to use something of the same care in breeding men and women as in breeding horses and dogs8 ,here is a determining question3 ,knowing yourself doomed to hopeless idiocy1 lunacy1 crime or drunkenness1 would you1 or would you not1 welcome a painless death8 ,let us assume that you would4 ,upon what ground1 then1 would you deny to another a boon that you would desire for yourself8 ,,iii4 ,the good ,american is1 as a rule1 pretty hard upon roguery1 but he atones for his austerity by an amiable toleration of rogues4 ,his only requirement is that he must personally know the rogues4 ,we all denounce thieves loudly enough1 if we have not the honor of their acquaintance4 ,if we have1 why1 that is different--unless they have the actual odor of the prison about them4 ,we may know them guilty1 but we meet them1 shake hands with them1 drink with them1 and if they happen to be wealthy or otherwise great invite them to our houses1 and deem it an honor to frequent theirs4 ,we do not approve their methods--let that be understood2 and thereby they are sufficiently punished4 ,the notion that a knave cares a pin what is thought of his ways by one who is civil and friendly to himself appears to have been invented by a humorist4 ,on the vaudeville stage of ,mars it would probably have made his fortune4 ,if warrants of arrest were out for every man in this country who is conscious of having repeatedly shaken hands with persons whom he knew to be knaves there would be no guiltless person to serve them4 ,i know men standing high in journalism who today will expose and bitterly denounce a certain rascality and tomorrow will be hobnobbing with the rascals whom they have named4 ,i know legislators of renown who habitually in the halls of legislation raise their voices against the dishonest schemes of some trust magnate1 and are habitually seen in familiar conversation with him4 ,indubitably these be hypocrites all4 ,between the head and the heart of such a man is a wall of adamant1 and neither organ knows what the other is doing4 ,if social recognition were denied to rogues they would be fewer by many4 ,some would only the more diligently cover their tracks along the devious paths of unrighteousness1 but others would do so much violence to their consciences as to renounce the disadvantages of rascality for those of an honest life4 ,an unworthy person dreads nothing so much as the withholding of an honest hand1 the slow inevitable stroke of an ignoring eye4 ,for one having knowledge of ,mr4 ,john ,d4 ,rockefeller's social life and connections it would be easy to name a dozen men and women who by a conspiracy of conscription could profoundly affect the plans and profits of the ,standard ,oil ,company4 ,i have been asked3 ,if ,john ,d4 ,rockefeller were introduced to you by a friend1 would you refuse to take his hand8 ,i certainly should--and if ever thereafter ,i took the hand of that hardy friend it would be after his repentance and promise to reform his ways4 ,we have ,rockefellers and ,morgans because we have respectable persons who are not ashamed to take them by the hand1 to be seen with them1 to say that they know them4 ,in such it is treachery to censure them2 to cry out when robbed by them is to turn ,state's evidence4 ,one may smile upon a rascal 7most of us do so many times a day7 if one does not know him to be a rascal1 and has not said he is2 but knowing him to be1 or having said he is1 to smile upon him is to be a hypocrite--just a plain hypocrite or a sycophantic hypocrite1 according to the station in life of the rascal smiled upon4 ,there are more plain hypocrites than sycophantic ones1 for there are more rascals of no consequence than rich and distinguished ones1 though they get fewer smiles each4 ,the ,american people will be plundered as long as the ,american character is what it is2 as long as it is tolerant of successful knavery2 as long as ,american ingenuity draws an imaginary distinction between a man's public character and his private--his commercial and his personal ,in brief1 the ,american people will be plundered as long as they deserve to be plundered4 ,no human law can stop it1 none ought to stop it1 for that would abrogate a higher and more salutary law3 ,as ye sow ye shall reap4 ,in a sermon by the ,rev4 ,dr4 ,parkhurst is the following3 ,the story of all our ,lord's dealings with sinners leaves upon the mind the invariable impression1 if only the story be read sympathetically and earnestly1 that ,he always felt kindly towards the transgressor1 but could have no tenderness of regard toward the transgression4 ,there is no safe and successful dealing with sin of any kind save as that distinction is appreciated and made a continual factor in our feelings and efforts4 ,with all due respect for ,dr4 ,parkhurst1 that is nonsense4 ,if he will read his ,new ,testament more understandingly he will observe that ,christ's kindly feeling to transgressors was not to be counted on by sinners of every kind1 and it was not always in evidence2 for example1 when he flogged the money-changers out of the temple4 ,nor is ,dr4 ,parkhurst himself any too amiably disposed toward the children of darkness4 ,it is not by mild words and gentle means that he has hurled the mighty from their seats and exalted them of low degree4 ,such revolutions as he set afoot are not made with spiritual rose-water2 there must be the contagion of a noble indignation fueled with harder wood than abstractions4 ,the people can not be collected and incited to take sides by the spectacle of a man fighting something that does not fight back4 ,it is men that ,dr4 ,parkhurst is trouncing--not their crimes--not ,crime4 ,he may fancy himself dowered with the hate of hate1 the scorn of scorn1 but in reality he does not hate hate but hates the hateful1 and scorns1 not scorn1 but the scornworthy4 ,it is singular with what tenacity that amusing though mischievous superstition keeps its hold upon the human mind--that grave bona fide personification of abstractions and the funny delusion that it is possible to hate or love them4 ,sin is not a thing2 there is no existing object corresponding to any of the mere counter-words that are properly named abstract nouns4 ,one can no more hate sin or love virtue than one can hate a vacuum 7which ,nature--itself imaginary--was once by the scientists of the period solemnly held to do7 or love one of the three dimensions4 ,we may think that while loving a sinner we hate the sin1 but that is not so2 if anything is hated it is other sinners of the same kind1 who are not quite so close to us4 ,but1 says ,citizen ,goodheart1 who thinks with difficulty1 shall ,i throw over my friend when he is in trouble8 ,yes1 when you are convinced that he deserves to be in trouble2 throw him all the harder and the further because he is your friend4 ,in addition to his particular offense against society he has disgraced you4 ,if there are to be lenity and charity let them go to the criminal who has foreborne to involve you in his shame4 ,it were a pretty state of affairs if an undetected scamp1 fearing exposure1 could make you a co-defendant by so easy a precaution as securing your acquaintance and regard4 ,don't throw the first stone1 of course1 but when convinced that your friend is a proper target1 heave away with a right hearty good-will1 and let the stone be of serviceable dimensions1 scabrous1 textured flintwise and delivered with a good aim4 ,the ,french have a saying to the effect that to know all is to pardon all2 and doubtless with an omniscient insight into the causes of character we should find the field of moral responsibility pretty thickly strewn with extenuating circumstances very suitable indeed for consideration by a god who has had a hand in besetting with pitfall and with gin the road we are to wander in4 ,but ,i submit that universal forgiveness would hardly do as a working principle4 ,even those who are most apt and facile with the incident of the woman taken in adultery commonly cherish a secret respect for the doctrine of eternal damnation2 and some of them are known to pin their faith to the penal code of their state4 ,moreover there is some reason to believe that the sinning woman1 being taken1 was penitent--they usually are when found out4 ,i care nothing about principles--they are lumber and rubbish4 ,what concerns our happiness and welfare1 as affectible by our fellowmen1 is conduct ,principles1 not men1 is a rogue's cry2 rascality's counsel to stupidity1 the noise of the duper duping on his dupe4 ,he shouts it most loudly and with the keenest sense of its advantage who most desires inattention to his own conduct1 or to that forecast of it1 his character4 ,as to sin1 that has an abundance of expounders and is already universally known to be wicked4 ,what more can be said against it1 and why go on repeating that8 ,the thing is a trifle wordworn1 whereas the sinner cometh up as a flower every day1 fresh1 ingenious and inviting4 ,sin is not at all dangerous to society2 it is the sinner that does all the mischief4 ,sin has no arms to thrust into the public treasury and the private2 no hands with which to cut a throat2 no tongue to wreck a reputation withal4 ,i would no more attack it than ,i would attack an isosceles triangle1 a vacuum1 or ,hume's phantasm floating in a void4 ,my chosen enemy must be something that has a skin for my switch1 a head for my cudgel--something that can smart and ache and1 if so minded1 fight back4 ,i have no quarrel with abstractions2 so far as ,i know they are all good citizens4 ,,the ,,death ,,penalty ,i4 ,,down with the gallows6 is a cry not unfamiliar in ,america4 ,there is always a movement afoot to make odious the just principle of a life for a life--to represent it as a relic of barbarism1 a usurpation of the divine authority1 and the rotten rest of it ,the law making murder punishable by death is as purely a measure of self-defense as is the display of a pistol to one diligently endeavoring to kill without provocation4 ,even the most brainless opponent of capital punishment would do that if he knew enough4 ,it is in precisely the same sense an admonition1 a warning to abstain from crime4 ,society says by that law3 ,if you kill one of us you die1 just as by display of the pistol the individual whose life is attacked says3 ,desist or be shot4 ,to be effective the warning in either case must be more than an idle threat4 ,even the most unearthly reasoner among the gallows-downing unfortunates would hardly expect to frighten away an assassin who knew the pistol to be unloaded4 ,of course these queer illogicians can not be made to understand that their position commits them to absolute non-resistance to any kind of aggression1 and that is fortunate for the rest of us1 for if as ,christians they frankly and consistently took that ground we should be under the miserable necessity of respecting them4 ,we have good reason to hold that the horrible prevalence of murder in this country is due to the fact that we do not execute our laws--that the death penalty is threatened but not inflicted--that the pistol is not loaded4 ,in civilized countries1 where there is enough respect for the laws to administer them1 there is enough to obey them4 ,while man still has as much of the ancestral brute as his skin can hold widiout cracking we shall have thieves and demagogues and anarchists and assassins and persons with a private system of lexicography who define hanging as murder and murder as mischance1 and many another disagreeable creation1 but in all this welter of crime and stupidity are areas where human life is comparatively secure against the human hand4 ,it is at least a significant coincidence that in these the death penalty for murder is fairly well enforced by judges who do not derive any part of their authority from those for whose restraint and punishment they hold it4 ,against the life of one guiltless person the lives of ten thousand murderers count for nothing2 their hanging is a public good1 without reference to the crimes that disclose their deserts4 ,if we could discover them by other signs than their bloody deeds they should be hanged anyhow4 ,unfortunately we must have a death as evidence4 ,the scientists who will tell us how to recognize the potential assassin1 and persuade us to kill him1 will be the greatest benefactor of his century4 ,what would these enemies of the gibbet have8--these lineal descendants of the drunken mobs that pelted the hangmen at ,tyburn ,tree2 this progeny of criminals1 which has so defiled with the mud of its animosity the noble office of public executioner that even in this enlightened age he shirks his high duty1 entrusting it to a hidden or unnamed subordinate8 ,if murder is unjust of what importance is it whether it's punishment by death be just or not8--nobody needs to incur it4 ,men are not drafted for the death penalty2 they volunteer4 ,then it is not deterrent1 mutters the gentleman whose rude forefather pelted the hangman4 ,well1 as to that1 the law which is to accomplish more than a part of its purpose must be awaited with great patience4 ,every murder proves that hanging is not altogether deterrent2 every hanging that it is somewhat deterrent--it deters the person hanged4 ,a man's first murder is his crime1 his second is ours4 ,the voice of ,theosophy has been heard in favor of downing the gallows4 ,as usual the voice is a trifle vague and it babbles4 ,clear speech is the outcome of clear thought1 and that is something to which ,theosophists are not addicted4 ,considering their infirmity in that way1 it would be hardly fair to take them as seriously as they take themselves1 but when any considerable number of apparently earnest citizens unite in a petition to the ,governor of their ,state1 to commute the death sentence of a convicted assassin without alleging a doubt of his guilt the phenomenon challenges a certain attention to what they do allege4 ,what these amiable persons hold1 it seems1 is what was held by ,alphonse ,karr3 the expediency of abolishing the death penalty2 but apparently they do not hold1 with him1 that the assassins should begin4 ,they want the ,state to begin1 believing that the magnanimous example will effect a change of heart in those about to murder4 ,this1 ,i take it1 is the meaning of their assertion that death penalties have not the deterring influence which imprisonment for life carries4 ,in this they obviously err3 death deters at least the person who suffers it--he commits no more murder2 whereas the assassin who is imprisoned for life and immune from further punishment may with impunity kill his keeper or whomsoever he may be able to get at4 ,even as matters now are1 the most incessant vigilance is required to prevent convicts in prison from murdering their attendants and one another4 ,how would it be if the life-termer were assured against any additional inconvenience for braining a guard occasionally1 or strangling a chaplain now and then8 ,a penitentiary may be described as a place of punishment and reward2 and under the system proposed the difference in desirableness between a sentence and an appointment would be virtually effaced4 ,to overcome this objection a life sentence would have to mean solitary confinement1 and that means insanity4 ,is that what these ,theosophical gentlemen propose to substitute for death8 ,these petitioners call the death penalty a relic of barbarism1 which is neither conclusive nor true4 ,what is required is not loose assertion and dogs-eared phrases1 but evidence of futility1 or1 in lack of that1 cogent reasoning4 ,it is true that the most barbarous nations inflict the death penalty most frequently and for the greatest number of offenses1 but that is because barbarians are more criminal in instinct and less easily controlled by gentle methods than civilized peoples4 ,that is why we call them barbarous4 ,it is not so very long since our ,english ancestors punished more than forty kinds of crime with death4 ,the fact that the hangman1 the boiler-in-oil and the breaker-on-the-wheel had their hands full does not show that the laws were futile2 it shows that the dear old boys from whom we are proud to derive ourselves were a bad lot--of which we have abundant corroborative evidence in their brutal pastimes and in their manners and customs generally4 ,to have restrained that crowd by the rose-water methods of modern penology--that is unthinkable4 ,the death penalty1 say the memorialists1 creates blood-thirstiness in the unthinking masses and defeats its own ends4 ,it is a cause of murder1 not a check4 ,these gentlemen are themselves of the unthinking masses--they do not know how to think4 ,let them try to trace and lucidly expound the chain of motives lying between the knowledge that a murderer has been hanged and the wish to commit a murder4 ,how1 precisely1 does the one beget the other8 ,by what unearthly process of reasoning does a man turning away from the gallows persuade himself that it is expedient to incur the danger of hanging8 ,let us have pointed out to us the several steps in that remarkable mental progress4 ,obviously1 the thing is absurd2 one might as reasonably say that contemplation of a pitted face will make a man go and catch smallpox1 or the spectacle of an amputated limb on the scrap-heap of a hospital tempt him to cut off his arm4 ,an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth1 says the ,theosophist1 is not justice4 ,it is revenge and unworthy of a ,christian civilization4 ,it is exact justice3 nobody can think of anything more accurately just than such punishments would be1 whatever the motive in awarding them4 ,unfortunately such a system is not practicable1 but he who denies its absolute justice must deny also the justice of a bushel of corn for a bushel of corn1 a dollar for a dollar1 service for service4 ,we can not undertake by such clumsy means as laws and courts to do to the criminal exactly what he has done to his victim1 but to demand a life for a life is simple1 practicable1 expedient and 7therefore7 right4 ,here are two of these gentlemen's dicta1 between which they inserted the one just considered1 though properly they should go together in frank inconsistency3 #f4 ,it the death penalty punishes the innocent a thousand times more than the guilty4 ,death is merciful to the tortures which the living relatives must undergo4 ,and they have committed no crime4 #h4 ,death penalties have not the deterring influence which imprisonment for life carries4 ,mere death is not dreaded4 ,see the number of suicides4 ,hopeless captivity is much more severe4 ,merely noting that the living relatives whose sorrows so sympathetically affect these soft-hearted and soft-headed persons are those of the murderer1 not those of his victim1 let us consider what they really say1 not what they think they say3 ,death is no very great punishment1 for the criminal doesn't mind it much1 but hopeless captivity is a very great punishment indeed ,therefore1 let us spare the assassin's family the tortures they will suffer if we inflict the lighter penalty4 ,let us make it easier for them by inflicting the severer one4 ,there is sense for you6--sense of the sound old fruity ,theosophical sort--the kind of sense that has lifted ,the ,beautiful ,cult out of the dark domain of reason into the serene altitudes of inexpressible ,thrill6 ,as to hopeless captivity1 though1 there is no such thing4 ,in legislation1 today can not bind tomorrow4 ,by an act of the ,legislature--even by a constitutional prohibition1 we may do away with the pardoning power2 but laws can be repealed1 constitutions amended4 ,the public has a short memory1 signatures to petitions in the line of mercy are had for the asking1 and tender-hearted ,governors are familiar afflictions4 ,we have life sentences already1 and sometimes they are served to the end--if the end comes soon enough6 but the average length of life imprisonment is1 ,i am told1 a little more than seven years4 ,hope springs eternal in the human beast1 and matters simply can not be so arranged that in entering the penitentiary he will leave hope behind4 ,hopeless captivity is a dream4 ,i quote again3 #i4 ,life imprisonment is the natural and humane check upon one who has proven his unfitness for freedom by taking life deliberately4 ,what6 it is no longer much more severe than the relic of barbarism8 ,in the course of a half dozen lines of petition it has become humane4 ,truly these are lightning changes of character6 ,it would be pleasing to know just what these worthy ,theosophers have the happiness to think that they think4 ,it is the only punishment that receives the consent of conscience4 ,that is to say1 their conscience and that of the convicted assassin4 ,taking the life of a murderer does not restore the life he took therefore1 it is a most illogical punishment4 ,two wrongs do not make a right4 ,here's richness6 ,hanging an assassin is illogical because it does not restore the life of his victim2 incarceration does2 therefore1 incarceration is logical--quod erat demonstrandum4 ,two wrongs certainly do not make a right1 but the veritable thing in dispute is whether taking the life of a life-taker is a wrong4 ,so naked and unashamed an example of petitio principii would disgrace a debater in a pinafore4 ,and these wonder-mongers have the incredible effrontery to babble of logic6 ,why1 if one of them were to meet a syllogism in a lonely road he would run away in a hundred and fifty directions as hard as ever he could hook it4 ,one is almost ashamed to dispute with such intellectual cloudings4 ,whatever an individual may rightly do to protect himself society may rightly do to protect him1 for he is a part of itself4 ,if he may rightly take life in defending himself society may rightly take life in defending him4 ,if society may rightly take life in defending him it may rightly threaten to take it4 ,having rightly and mercifully threatened to take it1 it not only rightly may take it1 but expediently must4 ,the law of a life for a life does not altogether prevent murder4 ,no law can altogether prevent any form of crime1 nor is it desirable that it should4 ,doubtless ,god could so have created us that our sense of right and justice could have existed without contemplation of injustice and wrong1 as doubtless he could so have created us that we could have felt compassion without a knowledge of suffering1 but doubtless he did not4 ,constituted as we are1 we can know good only by contrast with evil4 ,our sense of sin is what our virtues feed upon2 in the thin air of universal morality the altar-fires of honor and the beacons of conscience could not be kept alight ,a community without crime would be a community without warm and elevated sentiments--without the sense of justice1 without generosity1 without courage1 without magnanimity--a community of small1 smug souls1 uninteresting to ,god and uncoveted by the ,devil4 ,we can have too much of crime1 no doubt2 what the wholesome proportion is none can say4 ,just now we are running a good deal to murder1 but he who can gravely attribute that phenomenon1 or any part of it1 to infliction of the death penalty1 instead of virtual immunity from any penalty at all1 is justly entitled to the innocent satisfaction that comes of being a simpleton4 ,the ,new ,woman is against the death penalty1 naturally1 for she is hot and hardy in the conviction that whatever is is wrong4 ,she has visited this world in order to straighten things about a bit1 and is in distress lest the number of things be insufficient to her need4 ,the matter is important variously2 not least so in its relation to the new heaven and the new earth that are to be the outcome of woman suffrage4 ,there can be no doubt that the vast majority of women have sentimental objections to the death penalty that quite outweigh such practical considerations in its favor as they can be persuaded to comprehend4 ,aided by the minority of men afflicted by the same mental malady1 they will indubitably effect its abolition in the first lustrum of their political activity4 ,the ,new ,woman will scarcely feel the seat of power warm beneath her before giving to the assassin's unhand me villain6 the authority of law4 ,so we shall make again the old experiment1 discredited by a thousand failures1 of preventing crime by tenderness to caught criminals4 ,and the criminal uncaught will treat us to a quality of toughness notably augmented by the ,christian spirit of the rgime4 ,,ii4 ,as to painless executions1 the simple and practical way to make them both just and popular is the adoption by murderers of a system of painless assassinations4 ,until this is done there seems to be no hope that the people will renounce the wholesome discomfort of the style of executions endeared to them by memories and associations of the tenderest character4 ,there is also1 ,i fancy1 a shaping notion in the public mind that the penologists and their allies have gone about as far as they can safely be permitted to go in the direction of a softer suasion of the criminal nature toward good behavior4 ,the modern prison has become a rather more comfortable habitation than the dangerous classes are accustomed to at home4 ,modern prison life has in their eyes something of the charm and glamor of an ideal existence1 like that in the ,happy ,valley from which ,rasselas had the folly to escape4 ,whatever advantages to the public may be secured by abating the rigors of imprisonment and inconveniences incident to execution1 there is this objection1 it makes them less deterrent4 ,let the penologers and philanthrope1 have their way and even hanging might be made so pleasant and withal so interesting a social distinction that it would deter nobody but the person hanged4 ,adopt the euthanasian method of electricity1 asphyxia by smothering in rose-leaves1 or slow poisoning with rich food1 and the death penalty may come to be regarded as the object of a noble ambition to the bon vivant1 and the rising young suicide may go and murder somebody else instead of himself in order to receive a happier dispatch than his own 'prentice hand can assure him4 ,but the advocates of agreeable pains and penalties tell us that in the darker ages1 when cruel and degrading punishment was the rule1 and was freely inflicted for every light infraction of the law1 crime was more common than it is now2 and in this they appear to be right4 ,but they one and all overlook a fact equally obvious and vastly significant3 that the intellectual1 moral and social condition of the masses was very low4 ,crime was more common because ignorance was more common1 poverty was more common1 sins of authority1 and therefore hatred of authority1 were more common4 ,the world of even a century ago was a quite different world from the world of today1 and a vastly more uncomfortable one4 ,the popular adage to the contrary notwithstanding1 human nature was not by a long cut the same then that it is now4 ,in the very ancient time of that early ,english king1 ,george ,,iii1 when women were burned at the stake in public for various offenses and men were hanged for coining and children for theft1 and in the still remoter period1 7circa #aecj7 when poisoners were boiled in several waters1 divers sorts of criminals were disemboweled and some are thought to have undergone the pne forte et dure of cold-pressing 7an infliction which the pen of ,hugo has since made popular--in literature7--in these wicked old days it is possible that crime flourished1 not because of the law's severity1 but in spite of it4 ,it is possible that our respected and respectable ancestors understood the situation as it then was a trifle better than we can understand it on the hither side of this gulf of years1 and that they were not the reasonless barbarians that we think them to have been4 ,and if they were1 what must have been the unreason and barbarity of the criminal element with which they had to deal8 ,i am far from thinking that severity of punishment can have the same restraining effect as probability of some punishment being inflicted2 but if mildness of penalty is to be superadded to difficulty of conviction1 and both are to be mounted upon laxity in detection1 the pile will be complete with a vengeance4 ,there is a peculiar fitness1 perhaps1 in the fact that all these ideas for comfortable punishment should be urged at a time when there appears to be a tolerably general disposition to inflict no punishment at all4 ,there are1 however1 still a few old-fashioned persons who hold it obvious that one who is ambitious to break the laws of his country will not with as light a heart and as airy an indifference incur the peril of a harsh penalty as he will the chance of one more nearly resembling that which he would select for himself4 ,,iii4 ,after lying for more than a century dead ,i was revived1 given a new body1 and restored to society4 ,this was in the year #bjae4 ,the first thing of interest that ,i observed was an enormous building1 covering a square mile of ground4 ,it was surrounded on all sides by a high1 strong wall of hewn stone upon which armed sentinels paced to and fro4 ,in one face of the wall was a single gate of massive iron1 strongly guarded4 ,while admiring the cyclopean architecture of the reverend pile ,i was accosted by a man in uniform1 evidently ,the ,warden1 with a cheerful salutation4 ,colonel1 ,i said1 pressing his hand1 it gives me pleasure to find some one that ,i can believe4 ,pray tell me what is this building4 ,that1 said the colonel1 is the new ,state penitentiary4 ,it is one of twelve1 all alike4 ,you surprise me1 ,i replied4 ,surely the criminal element must have increased enormously4 ,yes1 indeed1 he assented2 under the ,reform rgime1 which began in your day1 it became so powerful1 bold and fierce that arrests were no longer possible and the prisons then in existence were soon overcrowded4 ,the ,state was compelled to erect others of greater capacity4 ,but1 ,colonel1 ,i protested1 if the criminals were too bold and powerful to be taken into custody1 of what use are the prisons6 ,and how are they crowded8 ,he fixed upon me a look that ,i could not fail to interpret as expressing a doubt of my sanity4 ,what8 he said1 is it possible that the modern ,penology is unknown to you8 ,do you suppose we practise the antiquated and ineffective method of shutting up the rascals8 ,sir1 the growth of the criminal element has1 as ,i said1 compelled the erection of more and larger prisons4 ,we have enough to hold comfortably all the honest men and women of the ,state4 ,within these protecting walls they carry on all the necessary vocations of life excepting commerce4 ,that is necessarily in the hands of the rogues as before4 ,venerated representative of ,reform1 ,i exclaimed1 wringing his hand with effusion1 you are ,knowledge1 you are ,history1 you are the ,higher ,education6 ,we must talk further4 ,come1 let us enter this benign edifice2 you shall show me your dominion and instruct me in the rules4 ,you shall propose me as an inmate4 ,i walked rapidly to the gate4 ,when challenged by the sentinel1 ,i turned to summon my instructor4 ,he was nowhere visible3 desolate and forbidding1 as about the broken statue of ,ozymandias1 ,the lone and level sands stretched far away4 ,,religion ,i4 ,this is my ultimate and determining test of right--,what1 in the circumstances1 would ,christ have done8--the ,christ of the ,new ,testament1 not the ,christ of the commentators1 theologians1 priests and parsons4 ,the test is perhaps not infallible1 but it is exceedingly simple and gives as good practical results as any4 ,i am not a ,christian1 but so far as ,i know1 the best and truest and sweetest character in literature1 is next to ,buddha1 ,jesus ,christ4 ,he taught nothing new in goodness1 for all goodness was ages old before he came2 but with an almost infallible intuition he applied to life and conduct the entire law of righteousness4 ,he was a lightning moral calculator3 to his luminous intelligence the statement of the problem carried the solution--he could not hesitate1 he seldom erred4 ,that upon his deeds and words was founded a religion which in a debased form persists and even spreads to this day is mere attestation of his marvelous gift3 adoration is a primitive mode of recognition4 ,it seems a pity that this wonderful man had not a longer life under more complex conditions--conditions more nearly identical with those of the modern world and the future4 ,one would like to be able to see1 through the eyes of his biographers1 his genius applied to more and more difficult questions4 ,yet one can hardly go wrong in inference of his thought and act4 ,in many of the complexities and entanglements of modern affairs it is no easy matter to find an answer off-hand to the question1,what is it right to do8 ,but put it in another way3 ,what would ,christ have done8 and lo6 there is light4 ,i ,doubt spreads her bat-like wings and is away2 the sun of truth springs into the sky1 splendoring the path of right and marking that of error with a deeper shade4 ,,ii4 ,gentlemen of the secular press dealt with the ,rev4 ,mr4 ,sheldon not altogether fairly4 ,to some very relevant considerations they gave no weight4 ,it was not fair1 for example1 to say1 as the distinguished editor of the ,north ,american ,review did1 that in professing to conduct a daily newspaper for a week as he conceived that ,christ would have conducted it1 ,mr4 ,sheldon acted the part of a notoriety seeking mountebank4 ,it seldom is fair to go into the question of motive1 for that is something upon which one has the least light1 even when the motive is one's own4 ,the motives that we think dominale us seem simple and obvious2 they are in most instances exceedingly complex and obscure4 ,complacently surveying the wreck and ruin that he has wrought1 even that great anarch1 the well meaning person1 can not have entire assurance that he meant as well as the disastrous results appear to him to show4 ,the trouble with ,mr4 ,harvey of the ,review was inability to put himself in another's place if that happened to be at any considerable distance from his own place4 ,he made no allowance for the difference in the point of view--for the difference1 that is1 between his mind and the mind of ,mr4 ,sheldon4 ,if ,mr4 ,harvey had undertaken to conduct that ,kansas newspaper as ,christ would have done he would indeed have been a notoriety seeking mountebank1 or some similarly unenviable thing1 for only a selfish purpose could persuade him to an obviously resultless work4 ,but ,mr4 ,sheldon was different--his was the religious mind--a mind having faith in an overruling ,providence who can1 and frequently does1 interfere with the orderly relation of cause and effect1 accomplishing an end by means otherwise inadequate to its production4 ,believing himself a faithful servant of that ,power1 and asking daily for its interposition for promotion of a highly moral purpose1 why should he not have expected his favor to the enterprise8 ,to expect that was1 in ,mr4 ,sheldon1 natural1 reasonable1 wise2 his folly lay in believing in conditions making it expectable4 ,a person convinced that the law of gravitation is suspended is no fool for walking into a bog4 ,mr4 ,harvey may understand1 but ,mr4 ,sheldon can not understand1 that ,jesus ,christ would not edit a newspaper at all4 ,the religious mind1 it should be understood1 is not logical4 ,it may acquire1 as ,whateley's did1 a certain familiarity with the syllogism as an abstraction1 but of the syllogism's practical application1 its real relation to the phenomena of thought1 the religious mind can know nothing4 ,that is merely to say that the mind congenitally gifted with the power of logic and accessible to its light and leading does not take to religion1 which is a matter1 not of reason1 but of feeling--not of the head1 but of the heart4 ,religions are conclusions for which the facts of nature supply no major premises4 ,they are accepted or rejected according to the original mental make-up of the person to whom they appeal for recognition4 ,believers and unbelievers are like two boys quarreling across a wall4 ,each got to his place by means of a ladder4 ,they may fight if they will1 but neither can kick away the other's support4 ,believing the things that he did believe1 ,mr4 ,sheldon was entirely right in thinking that the main purpose of a newspaper should be the salvation of souls4 ,if his religious belief is true that should be the main purpose1 not only of a newspaper1 but of everything that has a purpose1 or can be given one4 ,if we have immortal souls and the consequences of our deeds in the body reach over into another life in another world1 determining there our eternal state of happiness or pain1 that is the most momentous fact conceivable4 ,it is the only momentous fact2 all others are chaff and rags4 ,a man who1 believing it to be a fact1 does not make it the one purpose of his life to save his soul and the souls of others that are willing to be saved is a fool and a rogue4 ,if he think that any part of this only needful work can be done by turning a newspaper into a gruelpot he ought to do so or 7preferably7 perish in the attempt4 ,the talk of degrading the sacred name1 and all that1 is mostly nonsense4 ,if one may not test his conduct in this life by reference to the highest standard that his religion affords it is not easy to see how religion is to be made anything but a mere body of doctrine4 ,i do not think the ,christian religion will ever be seriously discredited by an attempt to determine1 even with too dim a light1 what under given circumstances1 the man miscalled its founder would do4 ,what else is his great example good for8 ,but it is not always enough to ask oneself1 ,how would ,christ do this8 ,one should first consider whether ,christ would do it4 ,it is conceivable that certain of his thrifty contemporaries may have asked him how he would change money in the ,temple4 ,if ,mr4 ,sheldon's critics were unfair his defenders were1 as a rule1 not much better4 ,they meant to be fair1 but they had to be foolish4 ,for example1 there is the ,rev4 ,dr4 ,parkhurst1 whose defence was published with ,mr4 ,harvey's attack4 ,i shall give a single illustration of how this more celebrated than cerebrated divine is pleased to think that he thinks4 ,he is replying to some one's application to this matter of ,christ's injunction1 ,lay not up for yourselves treasures on earth4 ,this command1 he gravely says1 is not against money1 nor against the making of money1 but against the loving it for its own sake and the dedicating of it to self-aggrandizing uses4 ,i call this a foolish utterance1 because it violates the good old rule of not telling an obvious falsehood4 ,in no word nor syllable does ,christ's injunction give the least color of truth to the reverend gentleman's interpretation2 that is the reverend gentleman's very own1 and doubtless he feels an honest pride in it4 ,it is the product of a controversial need--a characteristic attempt to crawl out of a hole in an enclosure which he was not invited to enter4 ,the words need no interpretation2 are capable of none2 are as clear and unambiguous a proposition as language can frame4 ,moreover1 they are consistent with all that we think we know of their author's life and character1 for he not only lived in poverty and taught poverty as a blessing1 but commanded it as a duty and a means of salvation4 ,the probable effect of universal obedience among those who adore him as a god is not at present an urgent question4 ,i think even so faithful a disciple as the ,rev4 ,dr4 ,parkhurst has still a place to lay his head1 a little of the wherewithal to be clothed1 and a good deal of the power of interpretation to excuse it4 ,,iii4 ,there are other hypocrites than those of the pulpit ,dr4 ,gatling1 the ingenious scoundrel who invented the gun that bears his name with commendable fortitude1 says he has given much thought to the task of bringing the forces of war to such perfection that war will be no more4 ,commonly the man who talks of war becoming so destructive as to be impossible is only a harmless lunatic1 but this fellow utters his cant to conceal his cupidity4 ,if he thought there was any danger of the nations beating their swords into plowshares we should see him take the stump against agriculture forthwith4 ,the same is true of all military inventors4 ,they are lions' parasites2 themselves1 of cold blood they fatten upon hot4 ,the sheep-tick's paler fare is not at all to their taste4 ,i sometimes wish ,i were a preacher3 preachers do so blindly ignore their shining opportunities4 ,i am indifferently versed in theology--whereof1 so help me ,heaven1 ,i do not believe one word--but know something of religion4 ,i know1 for example1 that ,jesus ,christ was no soldier2 that war has two essential features which did not command ,his approval3 aggression and defence4 ,no man can either attack or defend and remain ,christian2 and if no man1 no nation4 ,i could quote texts by the hour proving that ,christ taught not only absolute abstention from violence but absolute non-resistance4 ,now what do we see8 ,nearly all the so-called ,christian nations of the world sweating and groaning under their burdens of debt contracted in violation of these injunctions which they believe divine--contracted in perfecting their means of offense and defense4 ,we must have the best1 they cry2 and if armor plates for ships were better when alloyed with silver1 and guns if banded with gold1 such armor plates would be put upon the ships1 such guns would be freely made4 ,no sooner does one nation adopt some rascal's costly device for taking life or protecting it from the taker 7and these soulless inventors will as readily sell the product of their malign ingenuity to one nation as to another7 than all the rest either possess themselves of it or adopt something superior and more expensive2 and so all pay the penalty for the sins of each4 ,a hundred million dollars is a moderate estimate of what it has cost the world to abstain from strangling the infant ,gatling in his cradle4 ,you may say1 if you will1 that primitive ,christianity--the ,christianity of ,christ--is not adapted to these rough-and-tumble times2 that it is not a practical scheme of conduct4 ,as you please2 ,i have not undertaken to say what it is not1 but what it partly is4 ,i am no ,christian1 though ,i think that ,christ probably knew what was good for man about as well as ,dr4 ,gatling or the ,united ,states ,ordnance ,office4 ,it is not for me to defend ,christianity2 ,christ did not4 ,nevertheless1 ,i can not forbear the wish that ,i were a preacher1 in order sincerely to affirm that the awful burdens borne by modern nations are obvious judgments of ,heaven for disobedience to the ,prince of ,peace4 ,what a striking theme to kindle fires upon the heights of imagination--to fill the secret sources of eloquence--to stir the very stones in the temple of truth6 ,what a noble subject for the pious gentlemen who serve 7with rank1 pay and allowances7 as chaplains in the ,army and the ,navy1 or the civilian divines who offer prayer at the launching of an ironclad6 ,,iv4 ,a matter of missionaries commonly is to the fore as a cause of quarrel among nations which have the hardihood to prefer their own religions to ours4 ,missionaries constitute1 in truth1 a perpetual menace to the national peace4 ,i dare say the most of them are conscientious men and women of a certain order of intellect4 ,they believe1 and from the way that they interpret their sacred book have some reason to believe1 that in meddling uninvited with the spiritual affairs of others they perform a work acceptable to ,god--their ,god4 ,they think they discern a moral difference between approaching a man of another religion about the state of his soul and approaching him on the condition of his linen or the character of his wife4 ,i think there is no difference4 ,i have observed that the person who volunteers an interest in my spiritual welfare is the same person from whom ,i must expect an impudent concern about my temporal affairs4 ,the missionary is one who goes about throwing open the shutters of other men's bosoms in order to project upon the blank walls a shadow of himself4 ,no ruler nor government of sense would willingly permit foreigners to sap the foundation of the national religion4 ,no ruler nor government ever does permit it except under the stress of compulsion4 ,it is through the people's religion that a wise government governs wisely--even in our own country we make only a transparent pretense of officially ignoring ,christianity1 and a pretense only because we have so many kinds of ,christians1 all jealous and inharmonious4 ,each sect would make this a ,theocracy if it could1 and would that make short work of any missionary from abroad4 ,happily all religions but ours have the sloth and timidity of error2 ,christianity alone1 drawing vigor from eternal truth1 is courageous enough and energetic enough to make itself a nuisance to people of every other faith4 ,the ,jew not only does not bid for converts1 but discourages them by imposition of hard conditions1 and the ,moslem ,true ,believer's simple1 forthright method of reducing error is to cut off the head holding it4 ,i don't say that this is right2 ,i say only that1 being practical and comprehensible1 it commands a certain respect from the impartial observer not conversant with scriptural justification of the other practice4 ,it is only where the missionaries have made themselves hated that there is any molestation of ,europeans engaged in the affairs of this world4 ,chinese antipathy to ,caucasians in ,china is neither a racial animosity nor a religious2 it is an instinctive dislike of persons who will not mind their own business4 ,china has been infested with missionaries from the earliest centuries of our era1 and they have rarely been molested when they have taken the trouble to behave themselves4 ,in the time of the ,emperor ,justinian the fact that the ,christian religion was openly preached throughout ,china enabled that sovereign to wrest from the ,chinese the jealously-guarded secret of silk-making4 ,he sent two monks to ,pekin1 who alternately preached seriousness and studied sericulture1 and who brought away silkworms' eggs concealed in sticks4 ,in religious matters the ,chinese are more tolerant than we4 ,they let the religions of others alone1 but naturally and rightly demand that others shall let theirs alone4 ,in ,china1 as in other ,oriental countries where the color line is not drawn and where slavery itself is a light affliction1 the mental attitude of the zealot who finds gratification in spreading the light of which he deems himself custodian1 is not understood4 ,like most things not understood1 it is felt to be bad1 and is indubitably offensive4 ,v4 ,at a church club meeting a paper was read by a minister entitled1 ,why the ,masses ,do not ,attend the ,churches4 ,this good and pious man was not ashamed to account for it by the fact that there is no ,sunday law1 and the masses can find recreation elsewhere1 even in the drinking saloons4 ,it is frank of him to admit that he and his professional brethren have not brains enough to make religious services more attractive than shaking dice for cigars or playing cards for drink2 but if it is a fact he must not expect the local government to assist in spreading the gospel by rounding-up the people and corralling them in the churches4 ,the truth is1 and this gentleman suspects it1 that the masses stay out of hearing of his pulpit because he talks nonsense of the most fatiguing kind2 they would rather do any one of a thousand other things than go to hear it4 ,these parsons are like a scolding wife who grieves because her husband will not pass his evenings with her4 ,the more she grieves1 the more she scolds and the more diligently he keeps away from her4 ,i don't think ,jack ,satan is conspicuously wise1 but he is in the main a good entertainer1 with a right pretty knack at making people come again2 but the really reprehensible part of his performance is not the part that attracts them4 ,the parsons might study his methods with great advantage to religion and morality4 ,it may be urged that religious services have not entertainment for their object4 ,but the people1 when not engaged in business or labor1 have it for their object4 ,if the clergy do not choose to adapt their ministrations to the characters of those to whom they wish to minister1 that is their own affair2 but let them accept the consequences4 ,the masses move along the line of least reluctance4 ,they do not really enjoy ,sunday at all2 they try to get through the day in the manner that is least wearisome to the spirit4 ,possibly their taste is not what it ought to be4 ,if this minister were a physician of bodies instead of souls1 and patients who had not called him in should refuse to take the medicine which he thought his best and they his nastiest1 he should either offer them another1 a little less disagreeable if a little less efficacious1 or let them alone4 ,in no case is he justified in asking the civil authority to hold their noses while he plies the spoon4 ,the masses have not asked for churches and services2 they really do not care for anything of the kind--whether they ought is another matter4 ,if the clergy choose to supply them1 that is well and worthy4 ,but they should understand their relation to the impenitent worldling1 which is precisely that of a physician without a mandate from the patient1 who may not be convinced that there is very much the matter with him4 ,the physician may have a diploma and a ,state certificate authorizing him to practise1 but if the patient do not deem himself bound to be practised upon has the physician a right to make him miserable until he will submit8 ,clearly1 he has not4 ,if he can not persuade him to come to the dispensary and take medicine there is an end to the matter1 and he may justly conclude that he is misfitted to his vocation4 ,i am sure that the ministers and that singularly small contingent of earnest and1 on the whole1 pretty good persons who cluster about them do not perceive how alien they are in their convictions1 tastes1 sympathies and general mental habitudes to the great majority of their fellow men and women4 ,their voices1 like the gushing wave which1 to the ears of the lotus-eaters1 ,far1 far away did seem to mourn and rave1 come to us as from beyond a great gulf--mere ghosts of sound1 almost destitute of signification4 ,we know that they would have us do something1 but what it is we do not clearly apprehend4 ,we feel that they are concerned for us1 but why we are imperfectly able to conceive4 ,in an intelligible tongue they tell us of unthinkable things4 ,here and there in the discourse we catch a word1 a phrase1 a sentence--something which1 from ancestors whose mother-speech it was1 we have inherited the capacity to understand2 but the homily as a whole is devoid of meaning4 ,solemn and sonorous enough it all is1 and not unmusical1 but it lacks its natural accompaniment of shawm and sackbut and the wind-swept harp in the willows by the waters of ,babylon4 ,it is1 in fact1 something of a survival--the memory of a dream4 ,,vi4 ,the first week of ,january is set apart as a week of prayer4 ,it is a custom of more than a half century's age1 and it seems that gracious answers have been received in proportion to the earnestness and unanimity of the petitions4 ,that is to say1 in this world's speech1 the more ,christians that have prayed and the more they have meant it1 the better the result is known to have been4 ,i don't believe all that4 ,i don't believe that when ,god is asked to do something that he had not intended to do he counts noses before making up his mind whether to do it or not ,god probably knows the character of his work1 and knowing that he has made this a world of knaves and dunces he must know that the more of them that ask for something1 and the more loudly they ask1 the stronger is the presumption that they ought not to have it4 ,and ,i think ,god is perhaps less concerned about his popularity than some good folk seem to suppose4 ,doubtless there are errors in the record of results--some things set down as answers to prayer which came about through the orderly operation of natural laws and would have occurred anyhow4 ,i am told that similar errors have been made1 or are believed to have been made1 in the past4 ,in #agcj1 for example1 a good ,bishop at ,auvergne prayed for an eclipse of the sun as a warning to unbelievers4 ,the eclipse ensued and the pious prelate made the most of it2 but when it was shown that the astronomers of the period had foretold it he was a sufferer from irreverent gibes4 ,a monk of ,treves prayed that an enemy of the church1 then in ,paris1 might lose his head1 and it fell off2 but it transpired that1 unknown 7or known7 to the monk1 the man was under sentence of decapitation when the prayer was made4 ,this is related by ,ausolus1 who piously explains1 however1 that but for the prayer the sentence might perhaps have been commuted to service in the galleys4 ,i have myself known a minister to pray for rain1 and the rain came4 ,perhaps you can conceive his discomfiture when ,i showed him that the weather bureau had previously predicted a fair day4 ,i do not object to a week of prayer4 ,but why only a week8 ,if prayer is answered ,christians ought to pray all the time4 ,that prayer is answered the ,scripture affirms as positively and unequivocally as anything can be affirmed in words3 ,all things whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer1 believing1 that ye shall receive4 ,why1 then1 when all the clergy of this country prayed1 publicly for the recovery of ,president ,mc,kinley1 did the man die8 ,why is it that although two pious ,chaplains ask almost daily that goodness and wisdom may descend upon ,congress1 ,congress remains wicked and unwise8 ,why is it that although in all the churches and half the dwellings of the land ,god is continually asked for good government1 good government remains what it always and everywhere has been1 a dream8 ,from ,earth to ,heaven in unceasing ascension flows a stream of prayer for every blessing that man desires1 yet man remains unblest1 the victim of his own folly and passions1 the sport of fire1 flood1 tempest and earthquake1 afflicted with famine and disease1 war1 poverty and crime1 his world an incredible welter of evil1 his life' a labor and his hope a lie4 ,is it possible that all this praying is futilized and invalidated by the lack of faith8--that the asking is not credentialed by the believing8 ,when the anointed minister of ,heaven spreads his palms and uprolls his eyes to beseech a general blessing or some special advantage is he the celebrant of a hollow1 meaningless rite1 or the dupe of a false promise8 ,one does not know1 but if one is not a fool one does know that his every resultless petition proves him by the inexorable laws of logic to be the one or the other4 ,,vii4 ,modern ,christianity is beautiful exceedingly1 and he who admires not is eyed batly and minded as the mole4 ,sell all thou hast1 said ,christ and give to the poor4 ,all--no less--in order to be saved4 ,the poor were ,christ's peculiar care4 ,ever for them and their privations1 and not greatly for their spiritual darkness1 fell from his lips the compassionate word1 the mandate divine for their relief and cherishing4 ,of foreign missions1 of home missions1 of mission schools1 of church buildings1 of work among pagans in partibus infidelium1 of work among sailors1 of communion table1 of delegates to councils--of any of these things he knew no more than the moon man4 ,they were inventions of others1 as is the entire florid and flamboyant fabric of ecclesiasticism that has been reared1 stone by stone and century after century1 upon his simple life and works and words4 ,founder1 indeed6 ,he founded nothing1 instituted nothing2 ,paul did all that ,christ simply went about doing1 and being1 good--admonishing the rich1 whom he regarded as criminals1 comforting the luckless and uttering wisdom with that ,oriental indirection wherein our stupid ingenuity finds imaginary warrant for all desiderated pranks and fads4 ,,immortality ,,the desire for life everlasting has commonly been affirmed to be universal--at least that is the view taken by those unacquainted with ,oriental faiths and with ,oriental character4 ,those of us whose knowledge is a trifle wider are not prepared to say that the desire is universal or even general4 ,if the devout ,buddhist1 for example1 wishes to live alway1 he has not succeeded in very clearly formulating the desire4 ,the sort of thing that he is pleased to hope for is not what we should call life1 and not what many of us would care for4 ,when a man says that everybody has a horror of annihilation1 we may be very sure that he has not many opportunities for observation1 or that he has not availed himself of all that he has4 ,most persons go to sleep rather gladly1 yet sleep is virtual annihilation while it lasts2 and if it should last forever the sleeper would be no worse off after a million years of it than after an hour of it ,there are minds sufficiently logical to think of it that way1 and to them annihilation is not a disagreeable thing to contemplate and expect4 ,in this matter of immortality1 people's beliefs appear to go along with their wishes4 ,the chap who is content with annihilation thinks he will get it2 those that want immortality are pretty sure they are immortal1 and that is a very comfortable allotment of faiths4 ,the few of us that are left unprovided for are those who don't bother themselves much about the matter1 one way or another4 ,the question of human immortality is the most momentous that the mind is capable of conceiving4 ,if it is a fact that the dead live1 all other facts are in comparison trivial and without interest4 ,the prospect of obtaining certain knowledge with regard to this stupendous matter is not encouraging4 ,in all countries but those in barbarism the powers of the profoundest and most penetrating intelligences have been ceaselessly addressed to the task of glimpsing a life beyond this life2 yet today no one can truly say that he knows4 ,it is still as much a matter of faith as ever it was4 ,our modern ,christian nations hold a passionate hope and belief in another world1 yet the most popular writer and speaker of his time1 the man whose lectures drew the largest audiences1 the work of whose pen brought him the highest rewards1 was he who most strenuously strove to destroy the ground of that hope and unsettle the foundations of that belief4 ,the famous and popular ,frenchman1 ,professor of ,spectacular ,astronomy1 ,camille ,flammarion1 affirms immortality because he has talked with departed souls who said that it was true4 ,yes1 ,monsieur1 but surely you know the rule about hearsay evidence4 ,we ,anglo-,saxons are very particular about that4 ,your testimony is of that character4 ,i don't repudiate the presumptive arguments of school men4 ,i merely supplement them with something positive4 ,for instance1 if you assumed the existence of ,god this argument of the scholastics is a good one4 ,god has implanted in all men the desire of perfect happiness4 ,this desire can not be satisfied in our lives here4 ,if there were not another life wherein to satisfy it then ,god would be a deceiver4 ,voila tout4 ,there is more3 the desire of perfect happiness does not imply immortality1 even if there is a ,god1 for3 7 #a 7 ,god may not have implanted it1 but merely suffers it to exist1 as ,he suffers sin to exist1 the desire of wealth1 the desire to live longer than we do in this world4 ,it is not held that ,god implanted all the desires of the human heart4 ,then why hold that ,he implanted that of perfect happiness8 7#b7 ,even if ,he did--even if a divinely implanted desire entail its own gratification--even if it can not be gratified in this life--that does not imply immortality4 ,it implies only another life long enough for its gratification just once4 ,an eternity of gratification is not a logical inference from it4 7#c7 ,perhaps ,god is a deceiver who knows that ,he is not8 ,assumption of the existence of a ,god is one thing2 assumption of the existence of a ,god who is honorable and candid according to our finite conception of honor and candor is another4 7#d7 ,there may be an honorable and candid ,god4 ,he may have implanted in us the desire of perfect happiness4 ,it may be--it is--impossible to gratify that desire in this life4 ,still1 another life is not implied1 for ,god may not have intended us to draw the inference that ,he is going to gratify it4 ,if omniscient and omnipotent1 ,god must be held to have intended1 whatever occurs1 but no such ,god is assumed in ,m4 ,flammarion's illustration1 and it may be that ,god's knowledge and power are limited1 or that one of them is limited4 ,m4 ,flammarion is a learned1 if somewhat yellow astronomer4 ,he has a tremendous imagination1 which naturally is more at home in the marvelous and catastrophic than in the orderly regions of familiar phenomena4 ,to him the heavens are an immense pyrotechnicon and he is the master of the show and sets off the fireworks4 ,but he knows nothing of logic1 which is the science of straight thinking1 and his views of things have therefore no value2 they are nebulous4 ,nothing is clearer than that our pre-existence is a dream1 having absolutely no basis in anything that we know or can hope to know4 ,of after-existence there is said to be evidence1 or rather testimony1 in assurances of those who are in present enjoyment of it--if it is enjoyable4 ,whether this testimony has actually been given--and it is the only testimony worth a moment's consideration--is a disputed point ,many persons while living this life have professed to have received it4 ,but nobody professes1 or ever has professed1 to have received a communication of any kind from one in actual experience of the fore-life4 ,the souls as yet ungarmented1 if such there are1 are dumb to question4 ,the ,land beyond the ,grave has been1 if not observed1 yet often and variously described3 if not explored and surveyed1 yet carefully charted4 ,from among so many accounts of it that we have1 he must be fastidious indeed who can not be suited4 ,but of the ,fatherland that spreads before the cradle--the great ,heretofore1 wherein we all dwelt if we are to dwell in the ,hereafter1 we have no account4 ,nobody professes knowledge of that4 ,no testimony reaches our ears of flesh concerning its topographical or other features2 no one has been so enterprising as to wrest from its actual inhabitants any particulars of their character and appearance1 to refresh our memory withal4 ,and among educated experts and professional proponents of worlds to be there is a general denial of its existence4 ,i am of their way of thinking about that4 ,the fact that we have no recollection of a former life is entirely conclusive of the matter4 ,to have lived an unrecollected life is impossible and unthinkable1 for there would be nothing to connect the new life with the old--no thread of continuity--nothing that persisted from the one life to the other4 ,the later birth is that of another person1 an altogether different being1 unrelated to the first--a new ,john ,smith succeeding to the late ,tom ,jones4 ,let us not be misled here by a false analogy4 ,today ,i may get a thwack on the mazzard which will give me an intervening season of unconsciousness between yesterday and tomorrow4 ,thereafter ,i may live to a green old age with no recollection of anything that ,i knew1 or did1 or was before the accident2 yet ,i shall be the same person1 for between the old life and the new there will be a nexus1 a thread of continuity1 something spanning the gulf from the one state to the other1 and the same in both--namely1 my body with its habits1 capacities and powers4 ,that is ,i2 that identifies me as my former self--authenticates and credentials me as the person that incurred the cranial mischance1 dislodging memory4 ,but when death occurs all is dislodged if memory is2 for between two merely mental or spiritual existences memory is the only nexus conceivable2 consciousness of identity is the only identity4 ,to live again without memory of having lived before is to live another4 ,re-existence without recollection is absurd2 there is nothing to re-exist4 ,,opportunity ,,this is not a country of equal fortunes2 outside a ,socialist's dream no such country exists or can exist4 ,but as nearly as possible this is a country of equal opportunities for those who begin life with nothing but nature's endowments--and of such is the kingdom of success4 ,in nine instances in ten successful ,americans--that is ,americans who have succeeded in any worthy ambition or legitimate field of endeavor--have started with nothing but the skin they stood in4 ,it almost may be said1 indeed1 that to begin with nothing is a main condition of success--in ,america4 ,to a young man there is no such hopeless impediment as wealth or the expectation of wealth4 ,here a man and there a man will be born so abundantly endowed by nature as to overcome the handicap of artificial advantages1 but that is not the rule2 usually the chap born with a gold spoon in his mouth puts in his time sucking that spoon1 and without other employment4 ,counting possession of the spoon success1 why should he bestir himself to achieve what he already has8 ,the real curled darling of opportunity has nothing in his mouth but his teeth and his appetite--he knows1 or is likely to know1 what it is to feel his belly sticking to his back4 ,if he have brains a-plenty he will get on1 for he must be up and doing--the penalty of indiligence is famine4 ,if he have not1 he may up and do to the uttermost satisfaction of his mind and heart1 but the end of that man is failure1 with possibly ,socialism1 that last resort of conscious incompetence4 ,it fatigues1 this talk of the narrowing opportunities of today1 the closed avenues to success1 and the rest of it4 ,doubtless it serves its purpose of making mischief for the tyrant trusts and the wicked rich generally1 but in a six months' bound volume of it there is not enough of truth to float a religion4 ,men of brains never had a better chance than now to accomplish all that it is desirable that they should accomplish2 and men of no brains never did have much of a chance1 nor under any possible conditions can have in this country1 nor in any other4 ,they are nature's failures1 ,god's botchwork4 ,let us be sorry for them1 treating them justly and generously2 but the ,socialism that would level us all down to their plane of achievement and reward is a proposal of which they are themselves the only proponents4 ,opportunity1 indeed6 ,who is holding me from composing a great opera that would make me rich and famous8 ,what oppressive laws forbade me to work my passage up the ,yukon as deckhand on a steamboat and discover the gold along ,bonanza creek8 ,what is there in our industrial system that conceals from me the secret of making diamonds from charcoal8 ,why was it not ,i who1 entering a lawyer's office as a suitable person to sweep it out1 left it as an appointed ,justice of the ,supreme ,court8 ,the number of actual and possible sources of profit and methods of distinction is infinite4 ,not all the trusts in the world combined in one trust of trusts could appreciably reduce it--could condemn to permanent failure one man with the talent and the will to succeed4 ,they can abolish that doubtful benefactor of the small dealer1 who lives by charging too much1 and that very thickly disguised blessing the drummer1 whom they have to add to the price of everything they sell2 but for every opportunity they close they open a new one and leave untouched a thousand actual and a million possible ones4 ,as to their dishonest practices1 these are conspicuous and striking1 because lumped1 but no worse than the silent1 steady aggregate of cheating2 by which their constituent firms and individuals1 formerly consumed the consumer without his special wonder4 ,,charity ,,the promoter of organized charity protests against the wasteful and mischievous method of undirected relief4 ,he means1 naturally1 relief that is not directed by somebody else than the person giving it--undirected by him and his kind--professional almoners--philanthropists who deem it more blessed to allot than to bestow4 ,indubitably much is wasted and some mischief done by indiscriminate giving--and individual givers are addicted to that faulty practice4 ,but there is something to be said for undirected relief quite the same4 ,it blesses not only him who receives 7when he is worthy2 and when he is not upon his own head be it71 but him who gives4 ,to those uncalculating persons who1 despite the protests of the organized charitable1 concede a certain moral value to the spontaneous impulses of the heart and read in the word relief a double meaning1 the office of the mere distributor is imperfectly sacred4 ,he is even without scriptural authority1 and lives in the perpetual challenge of a moral quo warranto4 ,nevertheless he is not without his uses4 ,he is a tapper of tills that do not open automatically4 ,he is almoner to the uncompassionate1 who but for him would give no alms4 ,he negotiates unnatural but not censurable relations between selfishness and ingratitude4 ,the good that he does is purely material4 ,he makes two leaves of fat to grow where but one grew before1 lessens the sum of gastric pangs and dorsal chills4 ,all this is something1 certainly1 but it generates no warm and elevated sentiments and does nothing in mitigation of the poor's animosity to the rich4 ,organized charity is a sapid and savorless thing2 its place among moral agencies is no higher than that of root beer4 ,christ did not say ,sell whatsoever thou hast and give to the church to give to the poor4 ,he did not mention the ,associated ,charities of the period4 ,i do not find the words ,the ,little ,sisters of the ,poor ye have always with you1 nor ,inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these ,dorcas societies ye have done it unto me4 ,nowhere do ,i find myself commanded to enable others to comfort the afflicted and visit the sick and those in prison4 ,nowhere is recorded ,god's blessing upon him who makes himself a part of a charity machine--no1 not even if he be the guiding lever of the whole mechanism4 ,organized charity is a delusion and a snare4 ,it enables ,munniglut to think himself a good man for paying annual dues and buying transferable meal tickets4 ,munniglut is not thereby1 a good man4 ,on the ,last ,great ,day1 when he cowers in the ,ineffable ,presence and is asked for an accounting it will not help him to say1 ,hearing that ,a was in want ,i gave money for his need to ,b4 ,nor will it help ,b to say1 ,when ,a was in distress ,i asked ,c to relieve him1 and myself allotted the relief according to a resolution of ,d1 ,e and ,f4 ,there are blessings and benefactions that one would willingly forego--among them the poor4 ,quack remedies for poverty amuse2 a real specific would kindle a noble enthusiasm4 ,yet the world would lose much by it2 human nature would suffer a change for the worse4 ,happily and unhappily poverty is not abolishable3 ,the poor ye have always with you is a sentence that can never become unintelligible4 ,effect of a thousand causes1 poverty is invincible1 eternal4 ,and since we must have it let us thank ,god for it and avail ourselves of all its advantages to mind and character4 ,he who is not good to the deserving poor--who knows not those of his immediate environment1 who goes not among them making inquiry of their personal needs1 who does not wish with all his heart and both his hands to relieve them--is a fool4 ,,emancipated ,,woman ,,what ,i should like to know is1 how the enlargement of woman's sphere by entrance into the various activities of commercial1 professional and industrial life benefits the sex4 ,it may please ,helen ,gougar and satisfy her sense of logical accuracy to say1 as she does3 ,we women must work in order to fill the places left vacant by liquor-drinking men4 ,but who filled these places before8 ,did they remain vacant1 or were there then disappointed applicants1 as now8 ,if my memory serves1 there has been no time in the period that it covers when the supply of workers--abstemious male workers--was not in excess of the demand4 ,that it has always been so is sufficiently attested by the universally inadequate wage rate4 ,employers seldom fail1 and never for long1 to get all the workmen they need4 ,the field1 then1 into which women have put their sickles was already overcrowded with reapers4 ,whatever employment women have obtained has been got by displacing men--who would otherwise be supporting women4 ,where is the general advantage8 ,we may shout high tariff1 combination of capital1 demonetization of silver1 and what not1 but if searching for the cause of augmented poverty and crime1 industrial discontent1 and the tramp evil1 instead of dogmatically expounding it1 we should take some account of this enormous1 sudden addition to the number of workers seeking work4 ,if any one thinks that within the brief period of a generation the visible supply of labor can be enormously augmented without profoundly affecting the stability of things and disastrously touching the interests of wage-workers1 let no rude voice dispel his dream of such maleficent agencies as his slumbrous understanding may joy to affirm4 ,and let our ,widows of ,ashur unlung themselves in advocacy of quack remedies for evils for which they themselves are cause2 it remains true that when the contention of two lions for one bone is exacerbated by the accession of a lioness the squabble is not composable by stirring up some bears in the cage adjacent4 ,indubitably a woman is under no obligation to sacrifice herself to the good of her sex by refusing needed employment in the hope that it may fall to a man gifted with dependent women4 ,nevertheless our congratulations are more intelligent when bestowed upon her individual head than when sifted into the hair of all ,eve's daughters4 ,this is a world of complexities1 in which the lines of interest are so intertangled as frequently to transgress that of sex2 and one ambitious to help but half the race may profitably know that every effort to that end provokes a counterbalancing mischief4 ,the enlargement of woman's opportunities has benefited individual women4 ,it has not benefited the sex as a whole1 and has distinctly damaged the race4 ,the mind that can not discern a score of great and irreparable general evils distinctly traceable to emancipation of woman is as impregnable to the light as a toad in a rock4 ,a marked demerit of the new order of things--the rgime of female commercial service--is that its main advantage accrues1 not to the race1 not to the sex1 not to the class1 not to the individual woman1 but to the person of least need and worth--the male employer4 7,female employers in any considerable number there will not be1 but those that we have could give the male ones profitable instruction in grinding the faces of their employees47 ,this constant increase of the army of labor--always and everywhere too large for the work in sight--by accession of a new contingent of natural oppressibles makes the very teeth of old ,munniglut thrill with a poignant delight4 ,it brings in that situation known as two laborers seeking one job---and one of them a person whose bones he can easily grind to make his bread4 ,and ,munniglut is a miller of skill and experience1 dusted all over with the evidence of his useful craft4 ,when ,heaven has assisted the ,daughters of ,hope to open to women a new avenue of opportunities the first to enter and walk therein1 like ,god in the ,garden of ,eden1 is the good ,mr4 ,munniglut1 contentedly smoothing the folds out of the superior slope of his paunch1 exuding the peculiar aroma of his oleagmous personality1 and larding the new roadway with the overflow of a righteousness secreted by some spiritual gland stimulated to action by relish of his own identity4 ,and ever thereafter the subtle suggestion of a fat ,philistinism lingers along the path of progress like an assertion of a possessory right4 ,it is ,god's own crystal truth that in dealing with women unfortunate enough to be compelled to earn their own living and fortunate enough to have wrested from ,fate an opportunity to do so1 men of business and affairs treat them with about the same delicate consideration that they show to dogs and horses of the inferior breeds4 ,it does not commonly occur to the wealthy professional man1 or prominent merchant1 to be ashamed to add to his yearly thousands a part of the salary justly due to his female bookkeeper or typewriter1 who sits before him all day with an empty belly in order to have an habilimented back4 ,he has a vague1 hazy notion that the law of supply and demand is mandatory1 and that in submitting himself to it by paying her a half of what he would have to pay a man of inferior efficiency he is supplying the world with a noble example of obedience4 ,i must take the liberty to remind him that the law of supply and demand is not imperative2 it is not a statute1 but a phenomenon4 ,he may reply3 ,it is imperative2 the penalty for disobedience is failure4 ,if ,i pay more in salaries and wages than ,i need to1 my competitor will not2 and with that advantage he will drive me from the field4 ,if his margin of profit is so small that he must eke it out by coining the sweat of his workmen into nickels1 ,i've nothing to say to him4 ,let him adopt in peace the motto1 ,i cheat to eat ,i do not know why he should eat1 but ,nature1 who has provided sustenance for the worming sparrow1 the sparrowing owl1 and the owling eagle1 approves the needy man of prey1 and makes a place for him at table4 ,human nature is pretty well balanced2 for every lacking virtue there is a rough substitute that will serve at a pinch--as cunning is the wisdom of the unwise1 and ferocity the courage of the coward4 ,nobody is altogether bad2 the scoundrel who has grown rich by underpaying the workmen in his factory will sometimes endow an asylum for indigent seamen4 ,to oppress one's own workmen1 and provide for the workmen of a neighbor--to skin those in charge of one's own interests1 while cottoning and oiling the residuary product of another's skinnery--that is not very good benevolence1 nor very good sense1 but it serves in place of both4 ,the man who eats pt de fois gras in the sweat of his girl cashier's face1 or wears purple and fine linen in order that his typewriter may have an eocene gown and a pliocene hat1 seems a tolerably satisfactory specimen of the genus thief2 but let us not forget that in his own home--a fairly good one--he may enjoy and merit that highest and most honorable title in the hierarchy of woman's favor1 a good provider4 ,one having a just claim to that glittering distinction should enjoy a sacred immunity from the coarse and troublesome question1 ,from whose backs and bellies do you provide8 ,so much for the material results to the sex4 ,what are the moral results8 ,one does not like to speak of them1 particularly to those who do not and can not know--to good women in whose innocent minds female immorality is inseparable from flashy gowning and the painted face2 to foolish1 book-taught men who honestly believe in some protective sanctity that hedges womanhood4 ,if men of the world with years enough to have lived out of the old rgime into the new would testify in this matter there would ensue a great rattling of dry bones in bodices of reform ladies4 ,nay1 if the young man about town1 knowing nothing of how things were in the dark backward and abysm of time1 but something of the moral difference between even so free-running a creature as the society girl and the average working girl of the factory1 the shop and the office1 would speak out 7under assurance of immunity from prosecution7 his testimony would be a surprise to the cartilaginous virgins1 blowsy matrons1 acrid relicts and hairy males of ,emancipation4 ,it would pain1 too1 some very worthy but unobservant persons not in sympathy with the cause4 ,certain significant facts are within the purview of all but the very young and the comfortably blind4 ,to the woman of today the man of today is imperfectly polite4 ,in place of reverence he gives her deference2 to the language of compliment has succeeded the language of raillery4 ,men have almost forgotten how to bow4 ,doubtless the advanced female prefers the new manner1 as may some of her less forward sisters1 thinking it more sincere4 ,it is not2 our giddy grandfather talked high-flown nonsense because his heart had tangled his tongue4 ,he treated his woman more civilly than we ours because he loved her better4 ,he never had seen her on the rostrum and in the lobby1 never had seen her in advocacy of herself1 never had read her confessions of his sins1 never had felt the stress of her competition1 nor himself assisted by daily personal contact in rubbing the bloom off her4 ,he did not know that her virtues were due to her secluded life1 but thought1 dear old boy1 that they were a gift of ,god4 ,,the ,,opposing ,,sex ,,emancipation of woman is not of ,american invention4 ,the movement1 like most others that are truly momentous1 originated in ,europe1 and has broken through and broken down more formidable barriers of law1 custom and tradition there than here4 ,it is not true that the ,english married woman is virtually a bondwoman to her husband2 that she can hardly go and come without his consent1 and usually he does not consent2 that all she has is his4 ,if there is such a thing as the bitterness of the ,english married woman to the law1 underlying it there is such a thing as ignorance of what the law is4 ,the subjection of woman1 as it exists today in ,england1 is customary and traditionary--a social1 not a legal1 subjection4 ,nowhere has law so sharply challenged that male dominion whose seat is in the harder muscles1 the larger brain and the coarser heart ,and the law1 it may be worth while to point out1 was not of woman born2 nor was it handed down out of ,heaven engraved on tables of stone4 ,learned ,english judges have decided that virtually the term marital rights has no longer a legal signification4 ,as one writer puts it1 ,the law has relaxed the husband's control over his wife's person and fortune1 bit by bit1 until legally it has left him nothing but the power to prevent her1 if he is so disposed1 and arrives in time1 from jumping out of the window4 ,he will find it greatly to his interest to arrive in time when he conveniently can1 and to be so disposed1 for the husband is still liable for the wife's torts2 and if she makes the leap he may have to pay for the telescoping of a subjacent hat or two4 ,in ,england it is the ,tyrant ,man himself who is chafing in his chain4 ,not only is a husband still liable for the wrongs committed by the wife whom he has no longer the power to restrain from committing them1 but in many ways--in one very important way--his obligation to her remains intact after she has had the self-sacrifice to surrender all obligation to him4 ,moreover1 if his wife has a separate estate he has to endure the pain of seeing it hedged about from her creditors 7themselves not altogether happy in the contemplation7 with restrictions which do not hamper the right of recourse against his own4 ,doubtless all this is not without a softening effect upon his character1 smoothing down his dispositional asperities and endowing him day by day with fresh accretions of humility4 ,and that is good for him4 ,i do not say that female autonomy is not among the most efficacious agencies for man's reclamation from the sin of pride2 ,i only say that it is not indigenous to this country1 the sweet1 sweet home of the assassiness1 the happy hunting ground of the whiplady1 the paradise of the vitrioleuse4 ,if the protagonists of woman suffrage are frank they are shallow2 if wise1 uncandid4 ,continually they affirm their conviction that political power in the hands of women will give us better government4 ,to proof of that proposition they address all the powers that they have and marshal such facts as can be compelled to serve under their flag4 ,they either think or profess to think that if they can show that women's votes will purify politics they will have proved their case4 ,that is not true2 whether they know it or not1 the strongest objection to woman suffrage would remain untouched4 ,pure politics is desirable1 certainly1 but it is not the chief concern of the best and most intelligent citizens4 ,good government is devoutly to be wished1 but more than good government we need good women4 ,if all our public affairs were to be ordered with the goodness and wisdom of angels1 and this state of perfection were obtained by sacrifice of any of those qualities which make the best of our women1 if not what they should be1 nor what the mindless male thinks them1 at least what they are1 we should have purchased the advantage too dearly4 ,the effect of woman suffrage upon the country is of secondary importance3 the question for profitable consideration is1 ,how will it affect the character of woman8 ,he who does not see in the goodness and charm of such women as are good and charming something incalculably more precious than any degree of political purity or national prosperity may be a patriot3 doubtless he is2 but also he has the distinction to be a pig4 ,i should like to ask the gallant gentlemen who vote for removal of woman's political disability if they have observed in the minds and manners of the women in the forefront of the movement nothing ominous and drear4 ,are not these women different--,i don't say worse1 just different--from the best types of women of peace who are not exhibits and audibles8 ,if they are different1 is the difference of such a nature as to encourage a hope that activity in public affairs will work an improvement in women generally8 ,is the glare of publicity good for her growth in grace and winsomeness8 ,would a sane and sensible husband or lover willingly forego in wife or sweetheart all that the colonels of her sex appear to lack1 or find in her all that they appear to have and to value8 ,a few more questions--addressed more particularly to veteran observers than to those to whom the world is new and strange4 ,have you observed any alteration in the manner of men toward women8 ,if so1 is it in the direction of greater rudeness or of more ceremonious respect8 ,and again1 if so1 has not the change1 in point of time1 been coincident with the genesis and development of woman's emancipation and her triumphal entry into the field of affairs8 ,are you really desirous that the change go further8 ,or do you think that when women are armed with the ballot they will compel a return of the old rgime of deference and delicate consideration--extorting by their power the tribute once voluntarily paid to their weakness8 ,is there any known way by which women can at once be our political equals and our social superiors1 our competitors in the sharp and bitter struggle for glory1 gain or bread1 and the objects of our unselfish and undiminished devotion8 ,the present predicts the future2 of the foreshadow of the coming event all sensitive female hearts feel the chill4 ,for whatever advantages1 real or illusory1 some women enjoy under this rgime of partial emancipation all women pay4 ,of the coin in which payment is made the shouldering shouters of the sex have not a groat and can bear the situation with impunity4 ,they have either passed the age of masculine attention or were born without the means to its accroachment4 ,dwelling in the open bog1 they can afford to defy eviction4 ,while men did nearly all the writing and public speaking of the world1 setting so the fashion in thought1 women1 naturally extolled with true sexual extravagance1 came to be considered1 even by themselves1 as a very superior order of beings1 with something in them of divinity which was denied to man4 ,not only were they represented as better1 generally1 than men1 as indeed anybody could see that they were1 but their goodness was supposed to be a kind of spiritual endowment and more or less independent of environmental influences4 ,we are changing all that4 ,women are beginning to do much of the writing and public speaking1 and not only are they going to extol us 7to the fattening of our conceit7 but they are bound to disclose1 even to the unthinking1 certain defects of character in themselves which their silence had veiled4 ,their competition1 too1 in several kinds of affairs will slowly but certainly provoke resentment1 and moreover expose them to temptations which will distinctly lower the morality of their sex4 ,all these changes1 and many more having a similar effect and significance1 are occurring with amazing rapidity1 and the stated results are already visible to even the blindest observation4 ,in accurate depiction of the new order of things conjecture fails1 but so much we know3 the woman-superstition has already received its death wound and must soon expire4 ,everywhere1 and in no reverential spirit1 men are questioning the dear old idolatry2 not sapping a solemn creed with solemn sneer1 but dispassionately applying to its basic doctrine the methods of scientific criticism4 ,he who within even the last twenty years has not marked in society1 in letters1 in art1 in everything1 a distinct change in man's attitude toward women--a change which1 were one a woman1 one would not wish to see--may reasonably conclude that much1 otherwise observable1 is hidden by his nose4 ,in the various movements--none of them consciously iconoclastic--engaged in overthrowing this oddest of modern superstitions there is something to deprecate1 and even deplore1 but the superstition can be spared4 ,it never had much in it that was either creditable or profitable1 and all through its rituals ran a note of insincerity which was partly ,nature's protest against the rites1 but partly1 too1 hypocrisy4 ,there is no danger that good men will ever cease to respect and love good women1 and if bad men ever cease to adore them for their sex when not beating them for their virtues the gain in consistency will partly offset the loss in religious ecstasy4 ,let the patriot abandon his fear1 his betters their hope1 that only the low class woman will vote--the unlettered wench of the slums1 the raddled hag of the dives1 the war-painted protge of the police4 ,into the vortex of politics goes every floating thing that is free to move4 ,the summons to the polls will be imperative and incessant4 ,duty will thunder it from every platform1 conscience whisper it into every ear1 pride1 interest1 the lust of victory--all the motives that impel men to partisan activity will act with equal power upon women as upon men2 and to all the other forces flowing irresistibly toward the polls will be added the suasion of men themselves4 ,the price of votes will not decline because of the increased supply1 although it will in most instances be offered in currencies too subtle to be counted4 ,as now1 the honest and respectable elector will habitually take bribes in the invisible coin of the realm of ,sentiment--a mintage peculiarly valued by woman4 ,for one reason or another all women will vote1 even those who now view the right widi aversion4 ,the observer who has marked the strength and activity of the forces pent in the dark drink of politics and given off in the act of bibation will not expect inaction to the victim of the habit1 be he male or she female4 ,in the partisan1 conviction is compulsion---opinions bear fruit in conduct4 ,the partisan thinks in deeds1 and woman is by nature a partisan--a blessing for which the ,lord has never made her male relatives and friends sufficiently thankful4 ,not a mere man of them would have the effrontery to ask her toleration if she were not ,depend upon it1 the full strength of the female vote will eventually be cast at every election4 ,and it would be well indeed for civilization and the interests of the race if woman suffrage meant no more than going to the polling-place and polling--which clearly is all that it has been thought out to mean by the headless horsemen spurring their new hobbies bravely at the tail of the procession4 ,that would be a very simple matter2 the opposition based upon the impropriety of the female rubbing shoulders at the polls with such scurvy blackguards as ourselves may with advantage be retired from service4 ,nor is it particularly important what men and measures the women will vote for4 ,by one means or another ,tyrant ,man will have his way2 the ,opposing ,sex can merely obstruct him in his way of having it4 ,and should that obstruction ever be too pronounced1 the party line and the sex line coinciding1 woman suffrage will then and henceforth be no more4 ,in the politics of this bad world majorities are of several kinds4 ,one of the most overwhelming is made up of these simple elements3 7#a7 a numerical minority2 7#b7 a military superiority4 ,if not a single election were ever in any degree affected by it1 the introduction of woman suffrage into our scheme of manners and morals would nevertheless be the most momentous and mischievous event of modern history4 ,compared with the action of this destructive solvent1 that of all other disintegrating agencies concerned in our decivilization is as the languorous indiligence of rosewater to the mordant fury of nitric acid4 ,lively ,woman is indeed1 as ,carlyle would put it1 hellbent on purification of politics by adding herself as an ingredient4 ,it is unlikely that the injection of her personality into the contention 7and politics is essentially a contention7 will allay any animosities1 sweeten any tempers1 elevate any motives4 ,the strifes of women are distinctly meaner than those of men--which are out of all reason mean2 their methods of overcoming opponents distinctly more unscrupulous4 ,that their participation in politics will notably alter the conditions of the game is not to be denied2 that1 unfortunately1 is obvious2 but that it will make the player less malignant and the playing more honorable is a proposition in support of which one can utter a deal of gorgeous nonsense1 with a less insupportable sense of its unfitness1 than in the service of any other delusion4 ,the frosty truth is that except in the home the influence of women is not elevating1 but debasing4 ,when they stoop to uplift men who need uplifting1 they are themselves pulled down1 and that is all that is accomplished4 ,wherever they come into familiar contact with men who are not their relatives they impart nothing1 they receive all2 they do not affect us with their notions of morality2 we infect them with ours4 ,in the last forty years1 in this country1 they have entered a hundred avenues of activity from which they were previously debarred by an unwritten law4 ,they are found in the offices1 the shops1 the factories4 ,like ,charles ,lamb's fugitive pigs1 they have run up all manner of streets4 ,does any one think that in that time there has been an advance in professional1 commercial and industrial morality8 ,are lawyers more scrupulous1 tradesmen more honest8 ,when one has been served by a saleslady does one leave the shop with a feebler sense of injury than was formerly inspired by a transaction at the counter--a duller consciousness of being oneself the commodity that has changed hands8 ,have actresses elevated the stage to a moral altitude congenial to the colder virtues8 ,in studios of the artists is the sound of revelry by night invariably a deep1 masculine bass8 ,in literature are the immoral books--the books dealing with questionable questions--always1 or even commonly1 written by men8 ,there is one direction in which emancipation of woman and enlargement of her sphere have wrought a reform3 they have elevated the personnel of the little dinner party in the private room4 ,formerly1 as any veteran man-about-town can testify1 if he will1 the female contingent of the party was composed of persons altogether unspeakable4 ,that element now remains upon its reservation2 among the superior advantages enjoyed by the man-about-town of today is that of the companionship1 at his dinner in camera1 of ladies having an honorable vocation4 ,in the corridors of the ,french restaurant the swish of ,pseudonyma's skirt is no longer heard2 she has been superseded by the ,princess ,tap-tap 7with ,truckle ,cinch71 by my lady ,snip-snip 7from the emporium of ,boltwhack ,co471 by ,miss ,chink-chink1 who sits at the receipt of customs in that severely un-,french restaurant1 the ,maison ,hash4 ,that the man-about-town has been morally elevated by this ,emancipation of ,girl from the seclusion of home to that of the private room is too obvious for denial4 ,nothing so uplifts ,tyrant ,man as the table talk of good young women who earn their own living4 ,i do not wish to be altogether ironical about this rather serious matter--not so much so as to forfeit anything of lucidity4 ,let me state1 then1 in all earnestness and sobriety and simplicity of speech1 what is known to every worldly-wise male dweller in the cities1 to every scamp and scapegrace of the clubs1 to every reformed sentimentalist and every observer with a straight eye--namely1 that in all the various classes of young women in our cities who support1 or partly support1 themselves in vocations which bring them into personal contact with men1 female chastity is a vanishing tradition4 ,in the lives of the main and general of these1 all those considerate which have their origin in personal purity1 and cluster about it1 and are its signs and safeguards1 have almost ceased to cut a figure4 ,it is needless to remind me that there are exceptions--,i know that4 ,with some of them ,i have personal acquaintance1 or think ,i have1 and for them a respect withheld from any woman of the rostrum who points to their misfortune and calls it emancipation--to their need and calls it a spirit of independence4 ,it is not from these good girls that you will hear the flippant boast of an unfettered life1 with freedom to develop2 nor is it they who will be foremost and furious in denial and resentment of my statements regarding the morals of their class4 ,they do not know the whole truth1 thank ,heaven1 but they know enough for a deprecation too deep to find relief in a cheap affirmation of woman's purity1 which is1 and always has been1 the creature of seclusion4 ,the fitness of women for political activity is not in present question2 ,i am considering the fitness of political activity for women4 ,for women as men say they are1 wish them to be1 and try to think them1 it is unfit altogether--as unfit as anything else that mixes them up with us1 compelling a communication and association that are not social4 ,if we wish to have women who are different from ourselves in knowledge1 character1 accomplishments1 manners2 as different mentally as physically--and in these and in all odier expressible differences reside all the charms that they have for us--we must keep them1 or they must keep themselves1 in an environment unlike our own4 ,one would think that obvious to the meanest capacity1 and might even hope that it would be understood by the ,daughters of ,thunder4 ,possibly the ,advanced ,one1 hospitably accepting her karma1 is not concerned to be charming to the likes o' we'--would prefer the companionship of her blue gingham umbrella1 her corkscrew curls1 her epicene audiences and her name in the newspapers4 ,perhaps she is content with the comfort of her raucous voice4 ,therein she is unwise1 for self-interest is the first law4 ,when we no longer find woman charming we may find a way to make them more useful--more truly useful1 even1 than the speech-ladies would have them make themselves by competition4 ,really1 there is nothing in the world between them and slavery but their power of interesting us2 and that has its origin in the very differences which the ,colonels are striving to abolish4 ,god has made no law of miracles and none of ,his laws are going to be suspended in deference to woman's desire to achieve familiarity without contempt4 ,if she wants to please she must retain some scrap of novelty2 if she desires our respect she must not be always in evidence1 disclosing the baser side of her character1 as in competition with us she must do 7as we do to one another7 or lamentably fail4 ,mrs4 ,edmund ,gosse1 like ,ouida1 ,mrs4 ,atherton1 and all other women of brains1 declares that the taking of unfair advantages--the lack of magnanimity--is a leading characteristic of her sex4 ,mrs4 ,gosse adds1 with reference to men's passive acquiescence in this monstrous folly of emancipation1 that possibly our quiet may be the calm before the storm2 and she utters this warning1 which1 also1 more strongly1 ,ouida has uttered3 ,how would it be with us if the men should suddenly rise en masse and throw the whole surging lot of us into convents and harems8 ,it is not likely that men will rise en masse to undo the mischief wrought by noisy protagonists of ,woman ,suffrage working like beavers to rear their airy fad upon the sandy foundation of masculine tolerance and inattention4 ,no rising will be needed4 ,all that is required for the wreck of their hopes is for a wave of reason to slide a little farther up the sands of time1 loll out its large tongue1 lick the whole labor flat ,the work has prospered so far only because nobody but its promoters has taken it seriously4 ,it has not engaged attention from those having the knowledge and the insight to discern beneath its cap-and-bells and the motley that is its only wear a serious menace to all that civilized men hold precious in woman4 ,it is of the nature of men--themselves cheerful polygamists1 with no penitent intentions--to set a high value upon chastity in woman4 7,we need not inquire why they do so2 those to whom the reasons are not clear can profitably remain in the valley of the shadow of ignorance47 ,valuing it1 they purpose having it1 or some considerable numerical presumption of it4 ,as they perceive that in a general way women are virtuous in proportion to the remoteness of their lives and interests from the lives and interests of men--their seclusion from the influences of which men's own vices are a main part--an easy and peaceful means will doubtless be found for the repression of the shouters4 ,in the orchestration of mind woman's instruments might have kept silence without injury to the volume and quality of the music2 efface the impress of her touch upon the world and1 by those who come after1 the blank must be diligently sought4 ,go to the top of any large city and look about and below4 ,it is not much that you will see1 but it represents an amazing advance from the conditions of primitive man4 ,no where in the wide survey will you see the work of woman4 ,it is all the work of men's hands1 and before it was wrought into form and substance1 existed as conscious creations in men's brains4 ,concealed within the visible forms of buildings and ships--themselves miracles of thought--lie such wonder-worlds of invention and discovery as no human life is long enough to explore1 no human understanding capacious enough to hold in knowledge4 ,if1 like ,asmodeus1 we could rive the roofs and see woman's part of this prodigious exhibition--the things that she has actually created with her brain--what kind of display would it be8 ,it is probable that all the intellectual energy expended by women from first to last would not have sufficed1 if directed into the one channel1 for the genesis and evolution of the modern bicycle4 ,i once heard a lady who had playfully competed with men in a jumping match gravely attribute her defeat to the trammeling of her skirt4 ,similarly1 women are pleased to explain their penury of mental achievement by repressive education and custom1 and therein they are not altogether in heresy4 ,but even in regions where they have ever had the freedom of the quarries they have not builded themselves monuments4 ,nobody1 for example1 is holding them from greatness in poetry1 which needs no special education1 and music1 in which they have always been specially educated2 yet where is the great poem by a woman8 where the great musical composition8 ,in the grammar of literature what is the feminine of ,homer1 of ,shakspere1 of ,goethe1 of ,hugo8 ,what female names are the equivalents of the names of ,beethoven1 ,mozart1 ,chopin1 ,wagner8 ,women are not musicians--they sing and play4 ,in short1 if woman had no better claim to respect and affection than her brain2 no sweeter charms than those of her reason2 no means of suasion but her power upon men's convictions1 she would long ago have been improved off the face of the earth4 ,as she is1 men accord her such homage as is compatible with contempt1 such immunities as are consistent with exaction2 but whereas she is not altogether filled with light and is moreover1 imperfectly reverent1 it is but right that in obedience to ,scriptural injunction she keep silence in our churches while we are worshipping ,ourselves4 ,she will not have it so1 the good1 good girl2 as moral as the best of us1 she will be as intellectual as the rest of us4 ,she will have out her little taper and set the rivers of thought all ablaze1 legging it over the land from stream to stream till all are fired4 ,she will widen her sphere1 forsooth1 herself no wider than before4 ,it is not enough that we have edified her a pedestal and perform impossible rites in celebration of her altitude and distinction4 ,it does not suffice that with never a smile we assure her that she is the superior sex--a whopper by the repetition whereof certain callow youth among us have incurred the divine vengeance of belief4 ,it does not satisfy her that she is indubitably gifted with pulchritude and an unquestionable genius for its embellishing2 that ,nature has endowed her with a prodigious knack at accroachment1 whereby the male of her species is lured to a suitable doom4 ,no2 she has taken unto herself in these evil days that intelligent discontent which giveth its beloved fits4 ,to her flock of graces and virtues she must add our one poor ewe lamb of brains4 ,well1 ,i tell her that intellect is a monster which devours beauty2 that the woman of exceptional mind is exceptionally masculine in face1 figure1 action2 that in transplanting brains to an unfamiliar soil ,god leaves much of the original earth about the roots4 ,and so with a reluctant farewell to ,lovely ,woman1 ,i humbly withdraw from her presence and hasten to overtake the receding periphery of her sphere4 ,one moment more4 ,mesdames3 ,i crave leave to estop your disfavor--which were affliction and calamity--by defining my position in the words of one of yourselves1 who has said of me 7though with reprehensible exaggeration1 believe me7 that ,i hate woman and love women--have an acute animosity to your sex and adoring each individual member of it4 ,what matters my opinion of your understandings so long as ,i am in bondage to your charms8 ,moreover1 there is one service of incomparable utility and dignity for which ,i esteem you eminently fit--to be mothers of men4 ,,the ,,american ,,sycophant ,,an ,,american newspaper holds this opinion3 ,if republican government had done nothing else than give independence to ,american character and preserve it from the servility inseparable from the allegiance to kings1 it would have accomplished a great work4 ,i do not doubt that the writer of that sentence believes that republican government has actually wrought the change in human nature which challenges his admiration4 ,he is very sure that his countrymen are not sycophants2 that before rank and power and wealth they stand covered1 maintaining the godlike attitude of freedom and a man and exulting in it4 ,it is not true2 it is an immeasurable distance from the truth4 ,we are as abject toadies as any people on earth--more so than any ,european people of similar civilization4 ,when a foreign emperor1 king1 prince or nobleman comes among us the rites of servility that we execute in his honor are baser than any that he ever saw in his own land4 ,when a foreign nobleman's prow puts into shore the ,american shin is pickled in brine to welcome him2 and if he come not in adequate quantity those of us who can afford the expense go swarming over sea to struggle for front places in his attention4 ,in this blind and brutal scramble for social recognition in ,europe the traveling ,american toady and impostor has many chances of success3 he is commonly unknown even to ministers and consuls of his own country1 and these complaisant gentlemen1 rather than incur the risk of erring on the wrong side1 take him at his own valuation and push him in where his obscurity being again in his favor1 he is treated with kindly toleration1 and sometimes a genuine hospitality1 to which he has no shadow of right nor title1 and which1 if he were a gentleman1 he would not accept if it were voluntarily proffered4 ,it should be said in mitigation that all this delirious abasement in no degree tempers his rancor against the system of which the foreign notable is the flower and fruit4 ,he keeps his servility sweet by preserving it in the salt of vilification4 ,in the character of a blatant blackguard the ,american snob is so happily disguised that he does not know himself4 ,an ,american newspaper once printed a portrait of her whom the irreverent ,briton had a reprehensible habit of designating colloquially as ,the ,old ,lady1 ,but the editor in question did not so designate her--his simple ,american manhood and republican spirit would not admit that she was a lady4 ,so he contented himself with labeling the portrait ,her ,most ,gracious ,majesty1 ,queen ,victoria ,this incident raises an important question4 ,important ,question ,raised by ,this ,incident3 ,is it better to be a subject and a man1 or a citizen and a flunkey--to own the sway of a gory tyrant and retain one's self-respect1 or dwell1 a sovereign elector1 in the land of liberty and disgrace it8 ,however it may be customary for ,english newspapers to designate the ,english sovereign1 they are at least not addicted to sycophancy in designating the rulers of other countries than their own4 ,they would not say ,his ,abracadabral ,humpti-dumptiness ,emperor ,william1 nor ,his ,pestilency the ,speaker of the ,american ,house of ,representatives4 ,they would not think of calling even the most ornately self-bemedaled ,american sovereign elector ,his ,badgesty4 ,of a foreign nobleman they do not say ,his ,lordship2 they will not admit that he is a lord2 nor when speaking of their own noblemen do they spell lord with a capital ,l1 as we do4 ,in brief1 when mentioning foreign dignitaries1 of whatever rank in their own countries1 the ,english press is simply and serviceably descriptive3 the king is a king1 the queen a queen1 the jack a jack4 ,we use another kind of common sense4 ,at the very foundation of our political system lies the denial of hereditary and artificial rank4 ,our fathers created this government as a protest against all that1 and all that it implies4 ,they virtually declared that kings and noblemen could not breathe here1 and no ,american loyal to the principles of the ,revolution which made him one will ever say in his own country ,your ,majesty or ,your ,lordship--the words would choke him and they ought4 ,there are a few of us who keep the faith1 who do not bow the knee to ,baal1 who hold fast to what is high and good in the doctrine of political equality2 in whose hearts the altar-fires of rational liberty are kept aglow1 beaconing the darkness of that illimitable inane where their countrymen1 inaccessible to the light1 wander witless in the bogs of political unreason1 alternately adoring and damning the man-made gods of their own stature4 ,of that bright band fueling the bale-fires of political consistency ,i can not profess myself a member in good standing4 ,in view of this general recreancy and treason to the principles that our fathers established by the sword--having in constant observation this almost universal hospitality to the solemn nonsense of hereditary rank and unearned distinction1 my faith in practical realization of republican ideals is small1 and ,i falter in the work of their maintenance in the interest of a people for whom they are too good4 ,seeing that we are immune to none of the evils besetting monarchies1 excepting those for which we secretly yearn2 that inequality of fortune and unjust allotment of honors are as conspicuous among us as elsewhere2 that the tyranny of individuals is as intolerable1 and that of the public more so2 that the law's majesty is a dream and its failure a fact--hearing everywhere the footfalls of disorder and the watchwords of anarchy1 ,i despair of the republic and catch in every breeze that blows a cry prophetic of its fall4 ,i have seen a vast crowd of ,americans change color like a field of waving grain1 as it uncovered to do such base homage to a petty foreign princess as in her own country she had never received4 ,i have seen full-grown1 self-respecting ,american citizens tremble and go speechless when spoken to by the ,emperor of ,brazil4 ,i have seen a half-dozen ,american gentlemen in evening clothes trying to outdo one another in the profundity of their bows in the presence of the nigger ,king of ,hawaii4 ,i have not seen a ,chinese ,earl borne in a chair by four ,americans officially detailed for the disgraceful service1 but it was done1 and did not evoke a hiss of disapproval4 ,and ,i did not--thank ,heaven6--observe the mob of ,american simple republicans that dogged the heels of a disreputable little ,frenchman who is a count by courtesy only1 and those of an ,english duke quietly attending to his business of making a living by being a married man4 ,the republican ,new ,world is no less impested with servility than the monarchial ,old4 ,one form of government may be better than another for this purpose or for that2 all are alike in the futility of their influence upon human character4 ,none can affect man's instinctive abasement in the contemplation of power and rank4 ,not only are we no less sycophantic than the people of monarchial countries2 we are more so4 ,we grovel before their exalted personages1 and perform in addition a special prostration at the clay feet of our own idols--which they do not revere4 ,the typical subject1 hat-in-hand to his sovereign and his nobleman1 is a less shameful figure than the citizen executing his genuflexion before the public of which he is himself a part4 ,no ,european court journal1 no ,european courtier1 was ever more abject in subservience to the sovereign than are the ,american newspaper and the ,american politician in flattery of the people4 ,between the courtier and the demagogue ,i see nothing to choose4 ,they are moved by the same sentiment and fired by the same hope4 ,their method is flattery1 and their purpose profit4 ,their adulation is not a testimony to character1 but a tribute to power1 or the shadow of power4 ,if this country were governed by its criminal idiots we should have the same attestations of their goodness and wisdom1 the same competition for their favor1 the same solemn doctrine that their voice is the voice of ,god4 ,our children would be brought up to believe that an ,idiotocracy is the only natural and rational form of government ,and for my part ,i'm not at all sure that it would not be a pretty good political system1 as political systems go4 ,i have always1 however1 cherished a secret faith in ,smithocracy1 which seems to combine the advantages of both the monarchial and the republican idea4 ,if all the offices were held for life by ,smiths--the senior ,john being ,president--we should have a settled and orderly succession to allay all fears of anarchy and a sufficiently wide eligibility to feed the fires of patriotic ambition4 ,all could not be ,smiths1 but many could marry into the family4 ,the ,harrison progress left its heritage of shame1 whereof each abaser would gladly have washed the hands of him in his neighbor's basin4 ,all this was in due order of ,nature1 and was to have been expected4 ,it was a phenomenon of the same character as1 in the loves of the low1 the squabbling consequent upon satiety and shame4 ,we could not slink out of sight2 we could deny our sycophancy1 albeit we might give it another name2 but we could somewhat medicine our damaged self-esteem by dealing damnation 'round on one another4 ,the blush of shame turned easily to the glow of indignation1 and many a hot hatred was kindled at the rosy flame of self-contempt4 ,persons conscious of having dishonored themselves are doubly sensitive to any indignity put upon them by others4 ,the vices and follies of human nature are interdependent2 they do not move alone1 nor are they singly aroused to activity4 ,in my judgment1 this entire incident of the ,president's tour was infinitely discreditable to ,president and people4 ,i do not go into the question of his motive in making it4 ,be that what it may1 the manner of it seems to me an outrage upon all the principles and sentiments underlying republican institutions4 ,in all but the name it was a royal progress--the same costly ostentation1 the same civic and military pomp1 the same solemn and senseless adulation1 the same abasement of spirit of the ,many before the ,one4 ,and according to republican traditions1 ten thousand times a year affirmed1 in every way in which affirmation is possible1 we fondly persuade ourselves1 as a true faith in the hearts of our hearts1 that the ,one is the inferior of the ,many6 ,and it is no mere political catch-phrase3 he is their servant2 he is their creature2 all that in him to which they grovel 7dignifying and justifying their instinctive and inherited servility by names as false as anything in ceremonial imposture7 they themselves have made1 as truly as the heathen has made the wooden god before which he performs his unmanly rite4 ,it is precisely this thing--the superiority of the people to their servants--that constitutes1 and was by our fathers understood to constitute1 the essential1 fundamental difference between the monarchial system which they uprooted and the democratic one which they planted in its stead4 ,deluded men6 how little they guessed the length and strength and vitality of the roots left in the soil of the centuries when their noxious harvestage of mischievous institutions had been cast as rubbish to the void6 ,i am no contestant for forms of government--no believer in either the practical value or the permanence of any that has yet been devised4 ,that all men are created equal1 in the best and highest sense of the phrase1 ,i hold2 not as ,i observe it held by others1 but as a living faith4 ,that an officeholder is a servant of the people2 that ,i am his political superior1 owing him no deference1 and entitled to such deference from him as may be serviceable to keep him in mind of his subordination--these are propositions which command my assent1 which ,i feel to be true and which determine the character of my personal relations with those whom they concern4 ,that ,i should give my hand1 or bend my neck1 or uncover my head to any man in homage to or recognition of his office1 great or small1 is to me simply inconceivable4 ,these tricks of servility with the softened names are the vestiges of an involuntary allegiance to power extraneous to the performer4 ,they represent in our ,american life obedience and propitiation in their most primitive and odious forms4 ,the man who speaks of them as manifestations of a proper respect for the ,president's great office is either a rogue1 a dupe or a journalist ,they come to us out of a fascinating but terrible past as survivals of servitude4 ,they speak a various language of oppression1 and the superstition of man-worship2 they cany forward the traditions of the sceptre and the lash4 ,through the plaudits of the people may be heard always the faint1 far cry of the beaten slave4 ,respect8 ,respect the good4 ,respect the wise4 ,respect the dead4 ,let the ,president look to it that he belongs to one of these classes4 ,his going about the country in gorgeous state and barbaric splendor as the guest of a thieving corporation1 but at our expense--shining and dining and swining--unsouling himself of clotted nonsense in pickled platitudes calculated for the meridian of ,coon ,hollow1 ,indiana1 but ingeniously adapted to each water tank on the line of his absurd progress1 does not prove it1 and the presumption of his great office is against him4 ,can you not see1 poor misguided fellow citizens1 how you permit your political taskmasters to forge leg-chains of your follies and load you down with them8 ,will nothing teach you that all this fuss-and-feathers1 all this ceremony1 all this official gorgeousness and brass-banding1 this manifestation of a proper respect for the nation's head has no decent place in ,american life and ,american politics8 ,will no experience open your stupid eyes to the fact that these shows are but absurd imitations of royalty1 to hold you silly while you are plundered by the managers of the performance8--that while you toss your greasy caps in air and sustain them by the ascending current of your senseless hurrahs the programmers are going through your blessed pockets and exploiting your holy dollars8 ,no2 you feel secure2 power is of the ,people1 and you can effect a change of robbers every four years4 ,inestimable privilege--to pull off the glutted leech and attach the lean one6 ,and you can not even choose among the lean leeches1 but must accept those designated by the programmers and showmen who have the reptiles on tap6 ,but then you are not subjects2 you are citizens--there is much in that ,your tyrant is not a ,king2 he is a ,president4 ,he does not occupy a throne1 but a chair4 ,he does not succeed to it by inheritance2 he is pitchforked into it by the boss4 ,altogether1 you are distinctly better off than the ,russian mujik who wears his shirt outside his trousers and has never shaken hands with the ,czar in all his life4 ,i hold that kings and noblemen can not breathe in ,america4 ,when they set foot upon our soil their kingship and their nobility fall away from them like the chains of a slave in ,england4 ,whatever a man may be in his own country1 here he is but a man4 ,my countrymen may do as they please1 lickspittling the high and mighty of other nations even to the filling of their spiritual bellies1 but ,i make a stand for simple ,american manhood4 ,i will meet no man on this soil who expects from me a greater deference than ,i could properly accord to the ,president of my own country4 ,my allegiance to republican institutions is slack through lack of faith in them as a practical system of governing men as men are4 ,all the same1 ,i will call no man ,your ,majesty1 nor ,your ,lordship4 ,for me to meet in my own country a king or a nobleman would require as much preliminary negotiation as an official interview between the ,mufti of ,moosh and the ,ahkoond of ,swat4 ,the form of salutation and the style and tide of address would have to be settled definitively and with precision4 ,with some of my most esteemed and patriotic friends the matter is more simple2 their generosity in concession fills me with admiration and their forbearance in exaction challenges my astonishment as one of the seven wonders of ,american hospitality4 ,in fancy ,i see the ceremony of their presentation and as examples of simple republican dignity ,i commend their posture to the youth of this fair ,new ,world1 inviting particular attention to the grand1 bold curves of character shown in the outlines of the ,human ,ham4 ,a ,,dissertation ,,on ,,dogs ,,of ,,all anachronisms and survivals1 the love of the dog2 is the most reasonless4 ,because1 some thousands of years ago1 when we wore other skins than our own and sat enthroned upon our haunches1 tearing tangles of tendons from raw bones with our teeth1 the dog ministered purveyorwise to our savage needs1 we go on cherishing him to this day1 when his only function is to lie sun-soaken on a door mat and insult us as we pass in and out1 enamored of his fat superfluity4 ,one dog in a thousand earns his bread--and takes beefsteak2 the other nine hundred and ninety-nine we maintain1 by cheating the poor1 in the style suitable to their state4 ,the trouble with the modern dog is that he is the same old dog4 ,not an inch has the rascal advanced along the line of evolution4 ,we have ceased to squat upon our naked haunches and gnaw raw bones1 but this companion of the childhood of the race1 this vestigial remnant of juventus mundi this dismal anachronism1 this veteran inharmony of the scheme of things1 the dog1 has abated no jot nor tittle of his unthinkable objection-ableness since the morning stars sang together and he had sat up all night to deflate a lung at the performance4 ,possibly he may some time be improved otherwise than by effacement1 but at present he is still in that early stage of reform that is not incompatible with a mouthful of reformer4 ,the dog is a detestable quadruped4 ,he knows more ways to be unmentionable than can be suppressed in seven languages4 ,the word dog is a term of contempt the world over4 ,poets have sung and prosaists have prosed of the virtues of individual dogs1 but nobody has had the hardihood to eulogize the species4 ,no man loves the ,dog2 he loves his own dog or dogs1 and there he stops2 the force of perverted affection can no further go4 ,he loves his own dog partly because that thrifty creature1 ever cadging when not maurauding1 tickles his vanity by fawning upon him as the visible source of steaks and bones2 and partly because the graceless beast insults everybody else1 harming as many as he dares4 ,the dog is an encampment of fleas1 and a reservoir of sinful smells4 ,he is prone to bad manners as the sparks fly upward4 ,he has no discrimination2 his loyalty is given to the person that feeds him1 be the same a blackguard or a murderer's mother4 ,he fights for his master without regard to the justice of the quarrel--wherein he is no better than a patriot or a paid soldier4 ,there are men who are proud of a dog's love--and dogs love that kind of men4 ,there are men who1 having the privilege of loving women1 insult them by loving dogs2 and there are women who forgive and respect their canine rivals4 ,women1 ,i am told1 are true cynolaters2 they adore not only dogs1 but ,dog--not only their own horrible little beasts1 but those of others4 ,but women will love anything2 they love men who love dogs4 ,i sometimes wonder how it is that of all our women among whom the dog fad is prevalent none have incurred the husband fad1 or the child fad4 ,possibly there are exceptions1 but it seems to be a rule that the female heart which has a dog in it is without other lodgers4 ,there is not1 ,i suppose1 a very wild and importunate demand for accommodation4 ,for my part1 ,i do not know which is the less desirable1 the tenant or the tenement ,there are dogs that submit to be kissed by women base enough to kiss them2 but they have a secret1 coarse revenge4 ,for the dog is a joker1 withal1 gifted with as much humor as is consistent with biting4 ,miss ,louise ,imogen ,guiney has replied to ,mrs4 ,meynell's proposal to abolish the dog--a proposal which ,miss ,guiney has the originality to call original4 ,divested of its literature1 ,miss ,guiney's plea for the defendant consists1 essentially1 of the following assertions3 7#a7 ,dogs are whatever their masters are4 7#b7 ,they bite only those who fear them4 7#c7 ,really vicious dogs are not found nearer than ,constantinople4 7#d7 ,only wronged dogs go mad1 and hydrophobia is retaliation4 7#e7 ,in actions for damages for dog-bites judicial prejudice is against the dog4 7#f7 ,dogs are continually saving children from death4 7#g7 ,association with dogs begets piety1 tenderness1 mercy1 loyalty1 and so forth2 in brief1 the dog is an elevating influence3 to walk modestly at a dog's heels is a certificate of merit6 ,as to that last1 if ,miss ,guiney had ever observed the dog himself walking modestly at the heels of another dog she would perhaps have wished that it was not the custom of her sex to seal the certificate of merit with a kiss4 ,in all this absurd woman's statements1 thus fairly epitomized1 there is not one that is true--not one of which the essential falsity is not evident1 obvious1 conspicuous to even the most delinquent observation4 ,yet with the smartness and smirk of a graduating seminary girl refuting ,epicurus she marshals them against the awful truth that every year in ,europe and the ,united ,states alone more than five thousand human beings the of hydrophobia--a fact which her controversial conscience does not permit her to mention4 ,the names on this needless death-roll are mostly those of children1 the sins of whose parents in cherishing their own hereditary love of dogs is visited upon their children because they have not the intelligence and agility to get out of the way4 ,or perhaps they lack that tranquil courage upon which ,miss ,guiney relies to avert the canine tooth from her own inedible shank4 ,finally this amusing illogician1 this type and example of the female controversialist1 has the hardihood to hope that there may be fathers who can see their children the the horrible death of hydrophobia without wishing to exile man's best ideal of fidelity from the hearthstones of civilization4 ,if we must have an ideal of fidelity why not find it1 not in the dog that kills the child1 but in the father that kills the dog4 ,the profit of maintaining a standard and pattern of the virtues 7at considerable expense in the case of this insatiable canine consumer7 may be great1 but are we so hard pushed that we must go to the animals for it8 ,in life and letters are there no men and women whose names kindle enthusiasm and emulation8 ,is fidelity1 is devotion1 is self-sacrifice unknown among ourselves8 ,as a model of the higher virtues why will not one's mother serve at a pinch8 ,and what is the matter with ,miss ,guiney herself8 ,she is faithful1 at least to dogs1 whatever she may be to the hundreds of ,american children inevitably foredoomed to a death of unthinkable agony4 ,there is perhaps a hope that when the sun's returning flame shall gild the hither end of the thirtieth century this savage and filthy brute1 the dog1 will have ceased to banquet on through a whole year of human fat and lean2 that he will have been gathered to his variously unworthy fathers to give an account of the deeds done in body of man4 ,in the meantime1 those of us who have not the enlightened understanding to be enamored of him may endure with such fortitude as we can command his feats of tooth among the shins and throats of those who have2 we ourselves are so few that there is a strong numerical presumption of personal immunity4 ,it is well to have a clear understanding of such inconveniences as may be expected to ensue from dog-bites4 ,that inconveniences and even discomforts do sometimes flow from1 or at least follow1 the mischance of being bitten by dogs1 even the sturdiest champion of man's best friend will admit when not heated fay controversy4 ,true1 he is disposed to sympathy for those incurring the inconveniences and discomforts1 but against apparent incompassion may be offset his indubitable sympathy with the dog4 ,no one is altogether heartless4 ,amongst the several disadvantages of a close personal connection with the canine tooth1 the disorder known as hydrophobia has long held an undisputed primacy4 ,the existence of dus ailment is attested by so many witnesses1 many of whom1 belonging to the profession of medicine1 speak with a certain authority1 that even the breeders and lovers of snap-dogs are compelled reluctantly to concede it1 though as a rule they stoutly deny that it is imparted by the dog4 ,in their view1 hydrophobia is a theory1 not a condition4 ,the patient imagines himself to have it1 and acting upon that unsupported assumption or hypothesis1 suffers and dies in the attempt to square his conduct with his opinions4 ,it seems there is firmer ground for their view of the matter than the rest of us have been willing to admit ,there is such a thing1 doubtless1 as hydrophobia proper1 but also there is such another thing as pseudo-hydrophobia1 or hydrophobia improper4 ,pseudo-hydrophobia1 the physicians explain1 is caused by fear of hydrophobia4 ,the patient1 having been chewed by a healthy and harmless dog1 broods upon his imaginary peril1 solicitously watches his imaginary symptoms1 and1 finally1 persuading himself of their reality1 puts them on exhibition1 as he understands them4 ,he runs about 7when permitted7 on his hands and knees1 growls1 barks1 howls1 and in default of a tail wags the part of him where it would be if he had one4 ,in a few days he is gone before1 a victim to his lack of confidence in man's best friend4 ,the number of cases of pseudo-hydrophobia1 relatively1 to those of true hydrophobia1 is not definitely known1 the medical records having been imperfectly made1 and never collated2 champions of the snap-dog1 as intimated1 believe it is many to nothing4 ,that being so 7they argue71 the animal is entirely exonerated1 and leaves the discussion without a stain upon his reputation4 ,but that is feeble reasoning4 ,even if we grant their premises we can not embrace their conclusion4 ,in the first place1 it hurts to be bitten by a dog1 as the dog himself audibly confesses when bitten by another dog4 ,furthermore1 pseudo-hydrophobia is quite as fatal as if it were a legitimate product of the bite1 not a result of the terror which that mischance inspires4 ,human nature being what it is1 and well known to the dog to be what it is1 we have a right to expect that the creature will take our weaknesses into consideration--that he will respect our addiction to reasonless panic1 even as we respect his when1 as we commonly do1 we refrain from attaching tinware to his tail4 ,a dog that runs himself to death to evade a kitchen utensil which could not possibly harm him1 and which if he did not flee would not pursue1 is the author of his own undoing in precisely the same sense as is the victim of pseudo-hydrophobia4 ,he is slain by a theory1 not a condition4 ,yet the wicked boy that set him going is not blameless1 and no one would be so zealous and strenuous in his prosecution as the cynolater1 the adorer of dogs1 the person who holds them guileless of pseudo-hydrophobia4 ,mr4 ,nicholas ,smith1 while ,united ,states ,consul at ,liege1 wrote1 or caused to be written1 an official report1 wickedly1 willfully and maliciously designed to abridge the privileges1 augment the ills and impair the honorable status of the domestic dog4 ,in the very beginning of this report ,mr4 ,smith manifests his animus by stigmatizing the domestic dog as an hereditary loafer2 and having hurled the allegation1 affirms the dawn of a ,belgian new era wherein the pampered menial will loaf no more4 ,there is to be no more sun-soaking on door mats having a southern exposure1 no more usurpation of the warmest segment of the family circle1 no more successful personal solicitation of cheer at the domestic board4 ,the dog's place in the social scale is no longer to be determined by consideration of sentiment1 but will be the result of cold commercial calculation1 and so fixed as best to serve the ends of industrial expediency4 ,all this in ,belgium1 where the dog is already in active service as a beast of burden and draught2 doubtless the transition to that humble condition from his present and immemorial social elevation in less advanced countries will be slow and characterized by bitter factional strife4 ,america1 especially1 though ever accessible to the infection of new and profitable ideas1 will be angularly slow to accept so radical a subversion of a social superstructure that almost may be said to rest upon the domestic dog as a basic verity4 ,the dogs are our only true leisure class 7for even the tramps are sometimes compelled to engage in such simple industries as are possible within the precincts of the county jail7 and we are justly proud of them4 ,they toil not1 neither spin1 yet ,solomon in all his glory was not a dog4 ,instead of making them hewers of wood and drawers of water1 it would be more consonant with the ,anglomaniacal and general ,old ,world spirit1 now so dominant in the councils of the nation1 to make them hereditary legislators4 ,and ,mr4 ,smith must permit me to add1 with a special significance1 that history records an instance of even a horse making a fairly good ,consul4 ,mr4 ,smith avers with obvious and impudent satisfaction that in ,liege twice as many draught dogs as horses are seen in the streets1 attached to vehicles4 ,he regards a gaily painted cart drawn by a well fed dog and driven by a well fed 7and gaily painted7 woman as a pleasing vision4 ,i do not2 ,i should prefer to see the dog sitting at the receipt of steaks and chops and the lady devoting herself to the amelioration of the condition of the universe1 and the manufacture of poetry and stories that are not true4 ,a more pleasing vision1 too1 one endeared to eye and heart by immemorial use and wont1 is that of stranger and dog indulging in the pleasures of the chase--stranger a little ahead--while the woman in the case manifests a characteristically compassionate solicitude lest the gentleman's trousers do not match ,fido's mustache4 ,it is1 indeed1 impossible to regard with any degree of approval the degradation to commercial utility of two so noble animals as ,dog and ,woman2 and if ,man had joined them together by driving-reins ,i should hope that ,god would put them asunder1 even if the reins were held by ,dog4 ,there would no doubt be a distinct gain as well as a certain artistic fitness in unyoking the strong-minded female of our species from the ,chariot of ,progress and yoking her to the apple-cart or fish-wagon1 and--but that is another story2 the imminence of the draughtwoman is not foreshadowed in the report of our ,consul at ,liege4 ,mr4 ,smith's estimate of the number of dogs in this country at #g1jjj1jjj is a conservative one1 it must be confessed1 and can hardly have been based on observations by moonlight in a suburban village2 his estimate of the effective strength of the average dog at #ejj pounds is probably about right1 as will be attested by any intelligent boy who in campaigns against orchards has experienced detention by the ,cerberi of the places4 ,taking his own figures ,mr4 ,smith calculates that we have in this country #c1ejj1jjj1jjj pounds of idle dog power4 ,but this statement is more ingenious than ingenuous2 it gives1 as doubtless it was intended to give1 the impression that we have only idle dogs1 whereas of all mundane forces the domestic dog is most easily stirred to action4 ,his expense of energy in pursuit of the harmless1 necessary flea1 for example1 is prodigious2 and he is not infrequently seen in chase of his own tail1 with an activity scarcely inferior4 ,if there is anything worth while in accepted theories of the conversion and conservation of force these gigantic energies are by no means wasted2 they appear as heat1 light and electricity1 modifying climate1 reducing gas bills and assisting in propulsion of street cars4 ,even in baying the moon and insulting visitors and bypassers the dog releases a certain amount of vibratory force which through various mutations of its wave-length1 may do its part in cooking a steak or gratifying the olfactory nerve by throwing fresh perfume on the violet4 ,evidently the commercial advantages of deposing the dog from the position of ,exalted ,personage and subduing him to that of ,motor would not be all clear gain4 ,he would no longer have the spirit to send1 ,whitmanwise1 his barbarous but beneficent yawp over the housetops1 nor the leisure to throw off vast quantities of energy by centrifugal efforts at the conquest of his tail4 ,as to the fleas1 he would accept them with apathetic satisfaction as preventives of thought upon his fallen fortunes4 ,having observed with attention and considered with seriousness the ,london ,daily ,news declares its conviction that the dog1 as we have the happiness to know him1 is dreadfully bored by civilization4 ,this is one of the gravest accusations that the friends of progress and light have been called out to meet--a challenge that it is impossible to ignore and unprofitable to evade2 for the dog as we have the happiness to know him is the only dog that we have the happiness really to know4 ,the wolf is hardly a dog within the meaning of the law1 nor is the scalp-yielding coyote1 whether he howls or merely sings and plays the piano2 moreover1 these are beyond the pale of civilization and outside the scope of our sympathies4 ,with the dog it is different ,his place is among us2 he is with us and of us--a part of our life and love4 ,if we are maintaining and promoting a condition of things that gives him that tired feeling it is befitting that we mend our ways lest1 shaking the carpet dust from his feet and the tenderloin steaks from his teeth1 he depart from our midst and connect himself with the enchanted life of the thrilling barbarian4 ,we can not afford to lose him4 ,the cynophobes may call him a survival and sneer at his exhausted mandate--albeit1 as ,darwin points out1 they are indebted for their sneer to his own habit of uncovering his teeth to bite2 they may seek to cast opprobrium upon the nature of our affection for him by pronouncing it hereditary--a bequest from our primitive ancestors1 for whom he performed important service in other ways than depriving visitors of their tendons2 but quite the same we should miss him at his meal time and in the 7but for him7 silent watches of the night4 ,we should miss his bark and his bite1 the feel of his forefeet upon our shirt-fronts1 the frou-frou of his dusty sides against our nether habiliments4 ,more than all1 we should miss and mourn that visible yearning for chops and steaks1 which he has persuaded us to accept as the lovelight of his eye and a tribute to our personal worth4 ,we must keep the dog1 and to that end find means to abate his weariness of us and our ways4 ,doubtless much might be done to reclaim our dogs from their uncheerful state of mind by abstention from debate on imperialism2 by excluding them from the churches1 at least during the sermons2 by keeping them off the streets and out of hearing when rites of prostration are in performance before visiting notables2 by forbidding anyone to read aloud in their hearing the sensational articles in the newspapers1 and by educating them to the belief that ,labor and ,capital are illusions4 ,a limitation of the annual output of popular novels would undoubtedly reduce the dejection1 which could be still further mitigated by abolition of the more successful magazines4 ,if the dialect story or poem could be prohibited1 under severe penalties1 the sum of night-howling 7erroneously attributed to lunar influence7 would experience an audible decrement1 which1 also1 would enable the fire department to augment its own uproar without reproach4 ,there is1 indeed1 a considerable number of ways in which we might effect a double reform--promoting the advantage of ,man1 as well as medicating the mental fatigue of ,dog4 ,for another example1 it would be a boon and a blessing to man if ,society would put to death1 or at least banish1 the mill-man or manufacturer who persists in apprising the entire community many times a day by means of a steam whistle that it is time for his oppressed employees 7every one of whom has a gold watch7 to go to work or to leave off4 ,such things not only make a dog tired1 they make a man mad4 ,they answer with an accented affirmative ,truthful ,james' plaintive inquiry1 ,is civilization a failure1 ,or is the ,caucasian played out8 ,unquestionably1 from his advantageous point of view as a looker-on at the game1 the dog is justified in the conviction that they are4 ,,the ,,ancestral ,,bond ,a ,,well-,,known citizen of ,ohio once discovered another man of the same name exactly resembling him1 and writing a hand which1 including the signature1 he was unable to distinguish from his own4 ,the two men were unable to discover any blood relationship between them4 ,it is nevertheless almost absolutely certain that a relationship existed1 though it may have been so remote a degree that the familiar term forty-second cousin would not have exaggerated the slenderness of the tie4 ,the phenomena of heredity have been inattentively noted2 its laws are imperfectly understood1 even by ,herbert ,spencer and the prophets4 ,my own small study in this amazing field convinces me that a man is the sum of his ancestors2 that his character1 moral and intellectual1 is determined before his birth4 ,his environment with all its varied suasions1 its agencies of good and evil2 breeding1 training1 interest1 experience and the rest of it--have little to do with the matter and can not alter the sentence passed upon him at conception1 compelling him to be what he is4 ,man is the hither end of an immeasurable line extending back to the ultimate ,adam--or1 as we scientists prefer to name him1 ,protoplasmos4 ,man travels1 not the mental road that he would1 but the one that he must--is pushed this way and that by the resultant of all the forces behind him2 for each member of the ancestral line1 though dead1 yet pusfaedi4 ,in one of what ,dr4 ,nolmes 7,holmes1 ed47 calls his medicated novels1 ,the ,guardian ,angel1 this truth is most admirably and lucidly set forth with abundant instance and copious exposition4 ,upon another work of his1 ,elsie ,venner--in which he erroneously affirms the influence of circumstance and environment--let us lay a charitable hand and fling it into the fire4 ,clearly all one's ancestors have not equal power in shaping his character4 ,conceiving them1 according to our figure1 as arranged in line behind him and influential in the ratio of their individuality1 we shall get the best notion of their method by supposing them to have taken their places in an order somewhat independent of chronology and a little different from their arrangement behind his brother4 ,immediately at his back1 with a controlling hand 7a trifle skinny7 upon him1 may stand his great-grandmother1 while his father may be many removes arear4 ,or the place of power may be held by some fine old ,asian gentleman who flourished before the confusion of tongues on the plain of ,shinar2 or by some cave-dweller who polished the bone of life in ,mesopotamia and was perhaps a respectable and honest troglodyte4 ,sometimes a whole platoon of ancestors appears to have been moved backward or forward1 en bloc not1 we may be sure1 capriciously1 but in obedience to some law that we do not understand4 ,i know a man to whose character not an ancestor since the seventeenth century has contributed an element4 ,intellectually he is a contemporary of ,john ,dryden1 whom naturally he reveres as the greatest of poets4 ,i know another who has inherited his handwriting from his great-grandfather1 although he has been trained to the ,spencerian system and tried hard to acquire it4 ,furthermore1 his handwriting follows the same order of progressive development as that of his greatgrandfather4 ,at the age of twenty he wrote exactly as his ancestor did at the same age1 and1 although at forty-five his chirography is nothing like what it was even ten years ago1 it is accurately like his great-grandfather's at forty-five4 ,it was only five years ago that the discovery of some old letters showed him how his great-grandfather wrote1 and accounted for the absolute dissimilarity of his own handwriting to that of any known member of his family4 ,to suppose that such individual traits as the configuration of the body1 the color of the hair and eyes1 the shape of hands and feet1 the thousand-and-one subtle characteristics that make family resemblances are transmissible1 and that the form1 texture and capacities of the brain which fix the degree of natural intellect1 are not transmissible1 is illogical and absurd4 ,we see that certain actions1 such as gestures1 gait1 and so forth1 resulting from the most complex concurrences of brain1 nerves and muscles1 are hereditary4 ,is it reasonable to suppose that the brain alone of all the organs performs its work according to its own sweet will1 free from congenital tendencies8 ,is it not a familiar fact that racial characteristics are persistent8--that one race is stupid and indocile1 another quick and intelligent8 ,does not each generation of a race inherit the intellectual qualities of the preceding generation8 ,how could this be true of generations and not of individuals8 ,as to stirpiculture1 the intelligent and systematic breeding of men and women with a view to improvement of the species--it is a thing of the far future1 ,it is hardly in sight4 ,yet1 what splendid possibilities it carries6 ,two or three generations of as careful breeding as we bestow on horses1 dogs and pigeons would do more good than all the penal1 reformatory and educating agencies of the world accomplish in a thousand years4 ,it is the one direction in which human effort to elevate the race can be assured of a definitive1 speedy and adequate success4 ,it is hardly better than nonsense to prate of any good coming to the race through 7for example7 medical science1 which is mainly concerned in reversing the beneficent operation of natural laws and saving the unfittest to perpetuate their unfitness4 ,our entire system of charities is of1 to the same objection2 it cares for the incapables whom ,nature is trying to weed out1 ,this not only debases the race physically1 intellectually and morally1 but constantly increases the rate of debasement4 ,the proportion of criminals1 paupers and the various kinds of inmates of charitable institutions augments its horrible percentage yearly4 ,on the other hand1 our wars destroy the capable2 so thus we make inroads upon the vitality of the race from two directions4 ,we preserve the feeble and extirpate the strong4 ,he who1 in view of this amazing folly can believe in a constant1 even slow1 progress of the human race toward perfection ought to be happy4 ,he has a mind whose ,olympian heights are inaccessible--the ,titans of fact can never scale them to storm its ancient reign4 ,,the ,,right ,,to ,,work ,,all kinds of relief1 charitable or other1 doubtless tend to perpetuation of pauperism1 inasmuch as paupers are thereby kept alive2 and living paupers unquestionably propagate their unthrifty kind more abundantly than dead ones4 ,it is not true1 though1 that relief interferes with ,nature's beneficent law of the survival of the fittest1 for the power to excite sympathy and obtain relief is a kind of fitness4 ,i am still a devotee of the homely primitive doctrine that mischance1 disability or even unthrift1 is not a capital crime justly and profitably punishable by starvation4 ,i still regard the ,good ,samaritan with a certain toleration and ,jesus ,christ's tenderness to the poor as something more than a policy of obstruction4 ,if no such thing as an almshouse1 a hospital1 an asylum or any one of the many public establishments for relief of the unfortunate were known the proposal to found one would indubitably evoke from thousands of throats notes of deprecation and predictions of disaster4 ,it would be called ,socialism of the radical and dangerous kind--of a kind to menace the stability of government and undermine the very foundations of organized society6 ,yet who is more truly unfortunate than an able-bodied man out of work through no delinquency of will and no default of effort8 ,is hunger to him and his less poignant than to the feeble in body and mind whom we support for nothing in almshouse or asylum8 ,are cold and exposure less disagreeable to him than to them8 ,is not his claim to the right to live as valid as theirs if backed by the will to pay for life with work8 ,and in denial of his claim is there not latent a far greater peril to society than inheres in denial of theirs8 ,so unfortunate and dangerous a creature as a man willing to work1 yet having no work to do1 should be unknown outside of the literature of satire4 ,doubtless there would be enormous difficulties in devising a practicable and beneficent system1 and doubtless the reform1 like all permanent and salutary reforms1 will have to grow4 ,the growth naturally will be delayed by opposition of the workingmen themselves--precisely as they oppose prison labor from ignorance that labor makes labor4 ,it matters not that nine in ten of all our tramps and vagrants are such from choice1 and irreclaimable degenerates into the bargain2 so long as one worthy man is out of employment and unable to obtain it our duty is to provide it by law4 ,nay1 so long as industrial conditions are such that so pathetic a phenomenon is possible we have not the moral right to disregard that possibility4 ,the right to employment being the right to life1 its denial is homicide4 ,it should be needless to point out the advantages of its concession4 ,it would preserve the life and self-respect of him who is needy through misfortune1 and supply an infallible means of detection of his criminal imitator1 who could then be dealt with as he deserves1 widiout the lenity that finds justification in doubt and compassion4 ,it would diminish crime1 for an empty stomach has no morals4 ,with a wage rate lower than the commercial1 it would disturb no private industries by luring away their workmen1 and with nothing made to sell there would be no competition with private products4 ,properly directed1 it would give us highways1 bridges and embankments which we shall not otherwise have4 ,it is difficult to say if our laws relating to vagrancy and vagrants are more cruel or more absurd4 ,if not so atrocious they would evoke laughter2 if less ridiculous we should read them with indignation4 ,here is an imaginary conversation3 ,the ,law3 ,it is forbidden to you to rob4 ,it is forbidden to you to steal4 ,it is forbidden to you to beg4 ,the ,vagrant3 ,being without money1 and denied employment1 ,i am compelled to obtain food1 shelter and clothing in one of these ways1 else ,i shall be hungry and cold4 ,the ,law3 ,that is no affair of mine4 ,yet ,i am considerate--you are permitted to be as hungry as you like and as cold as may suit you4 ,the ,vagrant3 ,hungry1 yes1 and many thanks to you2 but if ,i go naked ,i am arrested for indecent exposure4 ,you require me to wear clothing4 ,the ,law3 ,you'll admit that you need it4 ,the ,vagrant3 ,but not that you provide a way for me to get it4 ,no one will give me shelter at night2 you forbid me to sleep in a straw stack4 ,the ,law3 ,ungrateful man6 we provide a cell4 ,the ,vagrant3 ,even when ,i obey you1 starving all day and freezing all night1 and holding my tongue with both hands1 ,i am liable to arrest for being without visible means of support4 ,the ,law3 ,a most reprehensible condition4 ,the ,vagrant3 ,one thing has been overlooked--a legal punishment for begging for work4 ,the ,law3 ,true2 ,i am not perfect4 ,,the ,,right ,,to ,,take ,,oneself ,,off ,a ,,person who loses heart and hope through a personal bereavement is like a grain of sand on the seashore complaining that the tide has washed a neighboring grain out of reach4 ,he is worse1 for the bereaved grain cannot help itself2 it has to be a grain of sand and play the game of tide1 win or lose2 whereas he can quit--by watching his opportunity can quit a winner4 ,for sometimes we do beat the man who keeps the table--never in the long run1 but infrequently and out of small stakes4 ,but this is no time to cash in and go1 for you can not take your little winning with you4 ,the time to quit is when you have lost a big stake1 your fool hope of eventual success1 your fortitude and your love of the game4 ,if you stay in the game1 which you are not compelled to do1 take your losses in good temper and do not whine about them4 ,they are hard to bear1 but that is no reason why you should be4 ,but we are told with tiresome iteration that we are put here for some purpose 7not disclosed7 and have no right to retire until summoned--it may be by small-pox1 it may be by the bludgeon of a blackguard1 it may be by the kick of a cow2 the summoning ,power 7said to be the same as the putting ,power7 has not a nice taste in the choice of messengers4 ,that argument is not worth attention1 for it is unsupported by either evidence or anything remotely resembling evidence4 ,put here4 ,indeed6 ,and by the keeper of the table who runs the skin game4 ,we were put here by our parents--that is all anybody knows about it2 and they had no more authority than we1 and probably no more intention4 ,the notion that we have not the right to take our own lives comes of our consciousness that we have not the courage4 ,it is the plea of the coward--his excuse for continuing to live when he has nothing to live for--or his provision against such a time in the future4 ,if he were not egotist as well as coward he would need no excuse4 ,to one who does not regard himself as the center of creation and his sorrow as the throes of the universe1 life1 if not worth living1 is also not worth leaving4 ,the ancient philosopher who was asked why he did not the if1 as he taught1 life was no better than death1 replied3 ,because death is no better than life4 ,we do not know that either proposition is true1 but the matter is not worth bothering about1 for both states are supportable--life despite its pleasures and death despite its repose4 ,it was ,robert ,g4 ,ingersoll's opinion that there is rather too little than too much suicide in the world--that people are so cowardly as to live on long after endurance has ceased to be a virtue4 ,this view is but a return to the wisdom of the ancients1 in whose splendid civilization suicide had as honorable place as any other courageous1 reasonable and unselfish act4 ,antony1 ,brutus1 ,cato1 ,seneca--these were not of the kind of men to do deeds of cowardice and folly4 ,the smug1 self-righteous modern way of looking upon the act as that of a craven or a lunatic is the creation of priests1 ,philistines and women4 ,if courage is manifest in endurance of profitless discomfort it is cowardice to warm oneself when cold1 to cure oneself when ill1 to drive away mosquitoes1 to go in when it rains4 ,the pursuit of happiness1 then1 is not an inalienable right1 for that implies avoidance of pain4 ,no principle is involved in this matter2 suicide is justifiable or not1 according to circumstances2 each case is to be considered on its merits and he having the act under advisement is sole judge4 ,to his decision1 made with whatever light he may chance to have1 all honest minds will bow4 ,the appellant has no court to which to take his appeal4 ,nowhere is a jurisdiction so comprehensive as to embrace the right of condemning the wretched to life4 ,suicide is always courageous4 ,we call it courage in a soldier merely to face death--say to lead a forlorn hope--although he has a chance of life and a certainty of glory4 ,but the suicide does more than face death2 he incurs it1 and with a certainty1 not of glory1 but of reproach4 ,if that is not courage we must reform our vocabulary4 ,true1 there may be a higher courage in living than in dying--a moral courage greater than physical4 ,the courage of the suicide1 like that of the pirate1 is not incompatible with a selfish disregard of the rights and interests of others--a cruel recreancy to duty and decency4 ,i have been asked3 ,do you not think it cowardly when a man leaves his family unprovided for1 to end his life1 because he is dissatisfied with life in general8 ,no1 ,i do not2 ,i think it selfish and cruel4 ,is not that enough to say of it8 ,must we distort words from their true meaning in order more effectually to damn the act and cover its author with a greater infamy8 ,a word means something2 despite the maunderings of the lexicographers1 it does not mean whatever you want it to mean4 ,cowardice means the fear of danger1 not the shirking of duty4 ,the writer who allows himself as much liberty in the use of words as he is allowed by the dictionary-maker and by popular consent is a bad writer4 ,he can make no impression on his reader1 and would do better service at the ribbon-counter4 ,the ethics of suicide is not a simple matter2 one can not lay down laws of universal application1 but each case is to be judged1 if judged at all1 with a full knowledge of all the circumstances1 including the mental and moral make-up of the person taking his own life--an impossible qualification for judgment4 ,one's time1 race and religion have much to do with it4 ,some people1 like the ancient ,romans and the modern ,japanese1 have considered suicide in certain circumstances honorable and obligatory2 among ourselves it is held in disfavor4 ,a man of sense will not give much attention to considerations of that kind1 excepting in so far as they affect others1 but in judging weak offenders they are to be taken into the account4 ,speaking generally1 then1 ,i should say that in our time and country the following persons 7and some others7 are justified in removing themselves1 and that to some of them it is a duty3 ,one afflicted with a painful or loathsome and incurable disease4 ,one who is a heavy burden to his friends1 with no prospect of their relief4 ,one threatened with permanent insanity4 ,one irreclaimably addicted to drunkenness or some similarly destructive or offensive habit4 ,one without friends1 property1 employment or hope4 ,one who has disgraced himself4 ,why do we honor the valiant soldier1 sailor1 fireman8 ,for obedience to duty8 ,not at all2 that alone--without the peril--seldom elicits remark1 never evokes enthusiasm4 ,it is because he faced without flinching the risk of that supreme disaster--or what we feel to be such--death4 ,but look you3 the soldier braves the danger of death2 the suicide braves death itself6 ,the leader of the forlorn hope may not be struck4 ,the sailor who voluntarily goes down with his ship may be picked up or cast ashore4 ,it is not certain that the wall will topple until the fireman shall have descended with his precious burden4 ,but the suicide--his is the foeman that never missed a mark1 his the sea that gives nothing back2 the wall that he mounts bears no man's weight ,and his1 at the end of it all1 is the dishonored grave where the wild ass of public opinion ,stamps o'er his head but can not break his sleep4